Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #340

Episode Date: June 30, 2017

This week on PKA, OpTic MiDNiTE aka Ashley has returned! The guys review some terrible burglars who boiled some old people, having sex with young or TOO young people and going over the Wings vs Syndicate 1v1 event again.

And we're live, PKA 340. Yeah, spent several advertisements tonight. We've got CISO, Audible, Casper, SmartMouth, Carvana. It's a first time for them. And a quick word here from the Power Rangers, from director Dean Israelite. Get ready to go-go Power Rangers with the cool new action blockbuster fans have been waiting for.

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Lips. All right. Here. Underage. Underage you generally underage underage fucking is that is that what we're going to the sexism isn't it this is from reddit and uh they handed out these cards at a college campus according to the internet i'm sure it's true and are people upset about it well read the cards and and taylor actually i'm not feeling my best can you grab a few of these and and scan it for the yeah yeah a couple would you okay you want me to do the men or the women a few from each side um says it's a reddit post sexism on college campuses is unbelievable 10 things you need to know about sexual assault for women and for men.

You got two. The men one has pictures on the bottom. The female one does not because I guess like the lists are more simple for the men because I'm already – Number one, know for men, know that the definition of sexual assault includes any unwanted sexual contact from touching to rape. See, I'm on point with that. Be aware that alcohol and drugs can impair your ability to make clear decisions as well as lower sexual inhibitions. Don't assume that your date wants to have sex, even if you have before. Be sure you and your potential partner

clearly communicate your intentions to each other. You know when you're having a romantic dinner, as it naturally segues towards the lovemaking for the first time and you just you just put that consent form out there and she loves it you love it the notary is being discreet the notary is very discreet i have a number of notary friends you can do it just like becoming a pastor online i have that's why i always have sex at bank this is ridiculous also guys we uh we were so excited to storm into the into the woody's excellent topic that we I have. That's why I always have sex at band. This is ridiculous. Scams smell like strawberries. Also, guys, we were so excited to storm into Woody's excellent topic that we didn't get a chance to introduce Ashley this week.

Our guest is Arctic Midnight. I'm back. I'm back. My fourth time. Unbelievable. And thanks for having me again, by the way. This card is ridiculous. I think I get what they're trying to do because sexual assault on college campuses is serious, obviously.

But, like, all the women's card is, like, really defensive types of, like, you know, you have the right to say no. Say no. Don't accept drinks from people you don't know or trust. I mean, this is all, like, really good advice. But it's really kind of backwards how they have them. Like, it's very, like, women be defensive, men stop being rapey. Yeah, that's the thing. It's common sense stuff.

As I read through these things, it totally tells the men that they are rapists, and it tells the women that they are victims. And I was a little torn about it, because on one hand, that's just not very nice, and it's not politically correct. On the other hand, isn't it kind of on to something, right?

No. There are a lot of men getting raped by women. There are, yes. Oh, I wish I met these women in high school. I don't think you do. This is just a segue into how you want to get raped by a hot teacher. You're assuming this woman wants to abuse you in a way that you would enjoy. There are plenty of ways.

Maybe she's a sadist, and her husband has been beating her and burning her with cigarettes for the first 15 years of their marriage, and then now he's in a coma, and she has to take care of him still. She's still taking care of the man who abused her, but she has to. She has to, but she has you right under her thumb where she wants you. Put those fucking

cigarette out on your taint where nobody will see it. You're so ashamed you can't show your mother your taint because it's covered with cigarette burns because Mrs. Jones is sucking your cock and burning the cigarette. A little cock sucking taint burning. That's where I go. That's how I go.

Cigar burning. I feel like your mic is blown out. It's super loud. Or maybe you're just enthusiastic. Let's be optimistic. I mean, yeah, I just thought he was on his chair with the cigarettes on the table. And the gooch. It always goes back there for Kyle. Burning in the general region.

Call me crazy. It seems like these are bad rules to always be thinking about. Especially the woman card. Because if you're dwelling on so much defensive shit all the time, it's got to just put you in a shit mood. Right? Just make you feel like you on so much defensive shit all the time, it's got to just put you in a shit mood, right? Like just make you feel like you're so on the lookout for a victim. It's like when you play that, or not a victim, like a bad guy.

Like when you play like Slugbug. Like, you know, like, oh, Slugbug, you know, when you were a kid and you'd see the little Slugbug, like VW bug cars and they'd punch your friend. We called that Punchbuggy. As a little kid. Punchbuggy or Slugbug. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Slugbug's absolutely. Slugbug's no backs or whatever. Yeah, Slugbug, nope. I think that punch buggy. Punch buggy or slug bug. Slug bugs, no backs or whatever. Yep, slug bug. Exactly. You don't notice those cars at all

and then you start playing that game and you're on the lookout and you see tons of them. It's that same thing with this list. I know it's an excellent comparison of equal severity. I feel like they could have done so much better than what they did because they really just put out common sense types of things like be aware of the person you're with

and your surroundings don't be a psycho but you shouldn't feel afraid as a woman all the time if the core message is that men are what people took offense to with this was that they treated men like rapists and they treated women like victims is that a little bit real world-ish no it would be the equivalent of it just because that's

that's the that happens a lot or that's the more prevalent circumstance it'd be the equivalent of me passing out a bunch of pamphlets that told to women and there was plenty of cartoons and pictures that showed them not to dispose of their babies in a dumpster. Did you see the top comment? No, but this is an old one. I've seen it long ago. It's like, yeah, and also, ladies, don't throw your fetus in a dumpster or a toilet. Don't try to flush an umbilical cord.

Yeah, I've seen that comparison drawn. The top comment, it's not exactly like yours, but it it's things you need to know about theft for white people. Keep your personal belongings on you at all time. If you see someone who might be a thief, report them immediately. And then things you need to know about theft for black people. Be aware that pickpocketing can constitute

larceny. Theft is partial by jail, fine, or both. They didn't do 10 on each of them, but it's kind of funny yeah like there's a comparison there like oh they treat black people like they're thieves and white people like they're victims is that not exactly what we did with the rapey one i'd love to take like buy a bunch of these cards on a college campus and like be handing out the men and women like ones that are going to be fine people are either going to look at it go this is stupid or look at it be like oh yeah i'm totally on board men need to know not to

rape people and then interspliced i put the ones that you just read where they'll be like yeah this one's kind of on point i'm not going to be a rapist certainly not with this list of tips how not to get robbed by black people well this guy didn't seem that way when he i was so with him on the last one i'll give this a go you know this is this is pretty dumb the only people nobody really gets offended by this shit though do they well i feel like all reasonable people of both genders are gonna be like yeah this is this is kind of silly yeah what i don't like is when like something like this is enforced with with uh with anything really like what this is is sort of freedom of speech and there's someone expressing their their view on the whole thing and and jesus

if i'd ever been raped by a man i might be passing out pamphlets to protect women from cocks as well but you know if if the if the campus security was running around handing these out and like tapping their like sticks in their hand and like the uh the dean was like it was like ordering uh the guys into a special room and having a long discussion with them about what constitutes sexual assault that'd be different i interpreted this as being from the faculty in some i don't care for that i i i don't i wouldn't like that if it were from the faculty but but if it's just students or some liberal organization, I would assume...

It seems like a lazy way to do it, right? Because education would be the best way to probably... They should put on a... Sexual assault on college campuses is serious. A little fake rape to unknowing victims, right? So that they know what it's like.

When we went to Superwow, which is the big Christian thing down in Jekyll Island. Like tens of thousands of us in there. And they would put on skits on stage to teach us lessons about life and morality. And a lot of times, and there was these two, like, I want to say 25-year-old, a 25-year-old girl and 25-year-old guy. And they were very good-looking, both of them, very energetic, peppy. They could both sing and act, and they did both of these things on the stage for this gigantic group of teens and young adults.

And they would do skits about premarital sex where they're both in bed getting hot and heavy, and then they're like, Jesus wouldn't like this! And then the music plays, and it's like, you know, a little anti-premarital sex one. And then there's a drug one and maybe an alcohol one.

And it was good stuff. It was stuff that we needed to learn. I'd like to see this for rape, though. Like right there in the middle of the college campus, you just have a bed there. And you put on a few scenarios for us and show us what we're talking about here. Well, what scenarios do you think might be helpful, Kyle? I don't know. I would like to see some that are right on the borderline, right?

Where, like, you know, half the audience is... Oh, you want a risque skit. You don't want a cut and dry. I would like it if he was balls deep in her mouth, right? In the middle of the quad, perhaps. And then they could demonstrate that just because she's okay with that doesn't mean she wants to have, like, vaginal sex. Take that, amp it down, like, 600%.

And you're almost at where these skits Kyle's talking about religiously are, because I remember those. Or they'd come up and they'd be like, hey, leave room for Jesus. Did you ever have anybody do that? Where you'd be next to a girl, and they'd come up and, oh, leave room for Jesus there. And it's like, you're ruining this already shitty dance with all of you, like,

leering about. Anyway. I don't know. I didn't see that from them, but the skits were always, like, you know, anti-drug, anti-alcohol, anti- premarital sex, and I can't think what else there was. Those are the main things.

They did, like, sinful thought ones. Uh-uh, none of that. Well, then maybe I got the extreme, I got the extra strength. Yeah, I feel like even if from an authoritarian religious background, they should be like, oh, but look, if you gotta jerk it off, you just jerk

it with all your might, little man. What you do in there is between you and your mattress and God, and it'll be okay. Just don't come at anybody. And no rate. Read your pamphlet. That would have been a great lesson to get as, like, a 13- or 12-year-old.

Because at that age, I was sitting there, and every time I'd masturbate, I'd just be, like, afterward. Because, as you know, the thoughts come back at the end. Like, you forget everything in, like, that blur beforehand. Yes. And then, like, afterward. I'm so envious. I was thinking three years from now I'll be masturbating too. No, 12 years

old I was two years in. I was a grizzled vet. I had my technique down and everything. I was pulling it by then. I'd stop. But like after I would complete that as a kid like looking looking back now, it's like,

oh, you shouldn't have felt the shame. That was a normal thing to do as a kid. You know, you're growing up. But at the time, I'd be like, oh, God, Jesus is so mad at me. Like, he's so pissed. He watched me do it. He watched me do it because he sees everything. And my thought was never like, why is Jesus watching me masturbate?

It was always like, I should have known better than to do it when he was watching. And it just so happens he watches all the time i didn't thought that i i had i i never had any uh like regrets or like remorse about masturbation or or and and like maybe and if i i think that if i if somebody told me like yeah there might be somebody like a ghost man watching you i'd be like that's getting a hot watch yeah on the lights you wish you could jerk, I bet you've got an effervescent ghost cock and every time you reach for it, it just goes poof! Like you're reaching for a humidifier or something. A little bit of baby powder just pops out.

God damn it! He's like Patrick Swayze in Ghost trying to fucking flick that fucking bottle cap or whatever over and over, but he's reaching for his cock. Yeah. When I, yeah. My early days were filled with regret or embarrassment, more like discovery. Like, aha, here's something everyone else has known about for years,

and finally I joined the secret club. I was like the last guy to get a driver's license, and suddenly now I get this experience as well. You were that guy that all the rest of us that matured early would be at the lunch table with and of course we were all talking about girls and someone would be like why are you talking about girls we can talk about this or that or the other thing it's like oh you're not true like no i was deep into girls so into girls i remember in my head I would have imaginary conversations with girls being like, no, sex is safe with me.

I can't even ejaculate yet. Let's go. As if that was a selling point. And what did they say to that? Well, this is all that actually happened. I wasn't getting girls. We were getting close. But in my head I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. If I could just get like a girl under the boardwalk back there, I would explain to her that I can't even come. Jesus. Is that what you thought? What do girls like at my age? Do they like masculine men?

No, they like non-threatening, prepubescent boys. That's what they want, non-threatening. Don't worry about me. Not going to knock you up. I'm just here for a few minutes. Can you drop me off after this? Part of the selling point. Yeah. And under the boardwalk, I don't know if that sounds rapey to kyle because

he screamed jesus but that's like a hookup spot like down by the lake you know i remember on it's always sunny the two homeless gay guys uh you know fucking under the boardwalk that's also my understanding of boardwalks yes it's it's old gay men fucking it out hard and dry. Not in real life. At least not where I grew up. Not that you know of. You just weren't there at the right time. Get on there now. Check it out. Atlantic City's gone downhill.

You were in Ocean City. Atlantic City was always downhill. That's probably accurate for AC. Oh, come on. Back in the Trump days. Dreadful. People don't want to know this but there were there are a couple amazing hotels on the boardwalk and then one block from any of those and it's complete trash and misery and ghetto it's detroit

so my knowledge of it extends from boardwalk empire but like based on that show it seems like it was a real big to do because of that highway that they had put in between id and maybe new york city or something like that and it was it was in philadelphia okay yeah okay then philadelphia okay yeah yeah i wonder if that's and it seemed to be like a really bustling like crazy metropolis in that show i wonder if is is that true like did it have its heyday where it was a big deal i'm not completely sure and i feel like I don't know my AC history. But by the time the 90s rolled around, Atlantic City was, it wasn't a great family place to go. So, Taylor, the age of consent is 17 in Missouri, as that I understand it. Or you informed me a few minutes ago.

You said you double or triple checked, I think. Are you taking advantage? So, 17 can have sex with a 60-year-old. That's where the cap ends. I'm like, keep in mind, I didn't actually look this up. I saw it on an infographic a couple years ago

and I'm almost positive I remember. So take this. Don't even bother looking it up. I shoted it just in case something went down. Just in case. He keeps it in his wallet. One of those things where you're scrolling through Reddit, you know, and you open one up and you go, huh, and then you keep scrolling.

A quick word from Cliff Hutchinson, age of consent expert. No, no, video game release date expert. And you can't run a firm on just that. Far too busy for that. You had to be multifaceted. You were in that discussion of consent laws came from Kyle, if you recall. We were talking about you saying you would fuck a 17-year-old in, not in Georgia, I guess, where you're the more cultured. And I said that, yeah.

Like, yeah, occasionally, it's you're just like can i can i see your id let's just make sure that you know not only that you have an id because anybody who doesn't have an id that's sketchy as fuck if you ask yeah there might be some other reason and i don't know all of the reasons that a person would just wouldn't have an id i'm assuming prison time might be one of them or maybe like institutionalization or something like that or maybe they've just never been able to get it together enough to like pass the test or have a

car or it's just a bad sign. Plus, you want to be a thousand percent. No, the only reason you not have ID is to be under 16. That's not the only reason. I looked up the Missouri age of consent. Do you guys want to know it? So here's the deal. Like Taylor said, if you're 17, you can fuck anybody.

Also, if you reasonably believed that the person was 17, maybe a 16-year-old who lied, you can fuck her too. If the person is 14, then she can have sex with anyone or he can have sex up until, I think it's under 21. What? Including 21, yeah. So a 14-year-old and 21-year-old, if I'm reading this right, they can fuck too.

I think Missouri has pretty relaxed laws. That's a little lax. That goes well with our gun laws. Most relaxed in the country. I don't like that you have to be 14 and there's no... Let's say, for example, a 13-year-old girl blows some 13-year-old boy. That's rape. I don't like that one.

Technically, yeah. I'm actually... That 14 to 21 one is a bit of a stretch. That's seven years, man. Think of yourself at 14 and then think of yourself at 21. That's not even the same fucking person. That's seven years like think of where you were think of yourself at 14 and then think of yourself 21 those aren't even that's not even the same fucking person that's seven years your whole body's changed again like your femur molecules are different yeah yeah every cell

in your body has been regenerated at that point you got a new tongue like you're looking through entirely different you're literally seeing the world through different eyes and you're some predatory 21 year old being like well i'm i'm not confident because this is what it is 100% of the time she's mature for her age man it's either a pedophile or it's someone who is like so much of a loser that all the 21 year old girls

and 20 year old girls and 19 year old girls or whatever see him as a loser and so he has to go like so much lower that the people don't even know what cool is yet you know so he can swim go so much lower that the people don't even know what cool is yet. Awesome. I agree with you 100%. A 21-year-old is a master manipulator of a 14-year-old. That's the problem I have. That could be the case, but what if they're intellectual peers?

You know what I mean? There's plenty of dum-dums out there, right? What if you've got a really bright 14-year-old and a fucking moron of a 21-year-old? That relationship doesn't happen because it's a smart 14-year-old. Ah, that's right. Well, maybe he's got a big dick and she's into it. We're really reading into this a lot. She hates her parents and she's just

rebelling. Yeah, I would rather fuck a retarded 21-year-old guy than cut herself, right? His dad hates people in their early 20s. So how young? Let's get to the fun part. How young would you go, Taylor? You're a young man of what?

26. So how young is too young for you? Well, 17, it says right here in the law. Actually, 16. You know what? If you believe she's 17, Taylor, in the eyes of the law, that is legal.

I shouldn't have diverted Kyle's question. There's something about 21 What if you believe she's 17, Taylor? In the eyes of the law, that is legal. No, yeah. I shouldn't have diverted Kyle's question. There's something about 21 as a cutoff for like, I guess because that's like the one where it, like you can drink and you're like kind of allowed to go all to the same places. And it's just the thought of like going out with someone under 21. And then you're going to like an event at like a blues game or something. And you're like, come on, let's go to the bar or whatever let's go in this area and watch the game from here like oh I can't I'm so young

I can't even go in there yet but I don't drink this is weird I'm just saying it is strange and so I think 21 is a good cut off for me alright yeah that's like I wouldn't actively search out someone who were younger than 20 or 21 or something like that I think that 20

is a more prescient number to me as far as this goes, a more important number because below that is a teenager, right? Yeah. That seems like another line there, and I feel like that one's a bit more weird. And it would really depend on the individual because I could totally imagine a 19 or 19 or 20 year old somewhere in that range who was just really mature and super fucking hot. And, you know, yeah, OK, absolutely.

Ashley, I'm curious what you have to say. How low would you go? It's hard to have something in common with someone who's so much younger than you. And especially if like they're super worried about like going to college or doing whatever they're doing and I'm just like I don't really relate to that at all because I'm doing I mean I play video games for a living so what who am I to say but but yeah I feel like I don't know I like people closer to my age I'm 27 so I'd prefer like probably the lowest in a hypothetical situation 22 23 ish but I'm with a girl now and she's uh she's the same age as me so i'm cool with the same age too i just find like you have a lot more in common

and like you have a better understanding of like how everything works i feel like like like most at least most straight girls it seems like it's just like they almost always want an older guy. Even if it's just two or – at one point, like when they're 19 or 20, then three years older is quite a bit older. And that might be old enough. But, like, I see so many 25-year-olds with 35-year-old guys and so many, like, 27, 28-year-old girls with, like, guys in their, like, late 30s and early 40s and stuff. I feel like there's a lot of young girls who want 10 15 year old older maybe it has to do with like stability like because girls usually like a guy that's like really stable like he he has an understanding of himself he has his hobbies he has a job he's not you know effing around going out all the time so

maybe girls just like stability and a lot of guys their age don't offer them that or they're just not mature enough yet to be like, hey, we can have a good duo-ship or whatever relationship. It's like duo-ship. Duo-ship. I like that.

As far as a career path competing, if the aspect that the woman's interested in is security, like, a 26-year-old and a 34-year-old are not going to be able to compete with a 34-year-old unless the 34-year-old's a bit of a loser. Maybe he was lazy, didn't quite get his shit together, you know? There's just, like, well, I'm eight years younger. I haven't had the opportunity to grow my career yet. So that does make sense. And that's why old folks' homes are just – it's just a bunch of, there's no men there.

It's a bunch of ladies. And so there's like six guys in every old folks home using up all the condoms. This is true. I've heard this. I believe that. Yeah. They go fucking eight wild in those old folks home. It's a goddamn orgy in there.

That's what's going on. Like 24-7. No sell more K-Y. It's like the six living men there and the gaggle. There's like 60 women because all the men have died and those guys get to just have a ball. And they're also old so they don't mind.

I'm thinking about the youngest girl I go with. So half my age plus seven would be 29. That feels too young to me. Because you know what the problem with 29-year-old women are? No sense. They don't self-entertain. That's my issue. I need you to,

I don't want to be your event planner. I don't want to be your entertainment. I don't want your life to just be like a hanger-on to mine. I need you to be a complete person on your own two feet so that I don't have like, I don't know. I don't have like this. Hypothetically, we go on vacation or something.

I'm not your tour guide and you should be here and not my follower because that gets old fast to me. That's what I was going to add on. I was going to add on to what Taylor said, because you were saying like girls want security and a guy it's it's not even about security it's just like girls want somebody who can take care of themselves not necessarily them i mean some women want that but like just having like a like like what he said like an equal person who's doing their own stuff and but you can still like ride together or whatever like i think that's really cool i don't think like one if one's too dependent on the other whether it's for entertainment or like security financially or whatever it's like tough to work out actually every time you're on the show i wimp out about asking these questions so go ahead i'm pretty i'm pretty open if i don't want to answer something i'll find a way to just

be like i don't really want to talk about that. Well, this will be pretty straightforward. Let's see where this is going. Yeah. So gay women, I am told two things. One, that like almost all gay women are sometimes bi. They go through phases. And I'm also told that the women who go through those phases are like not fully accepted into the community. Not a gold star lesbian.

Yeah. Yeah. Being a gold star lesbian yeah yeah being a gold star lesbian i mean i guess with it depends on like the the people are you gold star or silver yeah like i had boyfriends in high school but it more so ended up being like we just would end up watching football together and like looking at his cars like it was more like we just were friends and so it wasn't until i mean i thought i was gay like at that point i was like dang this i don't like this this isn't very fun um and then you know i like got my first girlfriend when i was 16 and i was like yup okay but i still i mean so i guess sexuality for me is like i don't consider myself like i'm lesbian like i don't really like it's not that i'm not proud but i

just i'm not like you don't want to self-identify as that you don't want that to be your identity gatekeeper that's like i feel like i'm like i'm ashley and i happen to date women like i'm not like the lesbian call duty player on twitch or whatever you know and i think like i don't know that's just how i like have lived my life so far and I think for as far as like what other lesbians like think about like bisexuals like I've my friend group and this is only like my personal experience I can't speak for like everybody because everyone's different but like we have sometimes like treated bisexuals differently because of uh oh well you have a boyfriend now how's that going you know like is he taking care of you and and stuff like that but it's more like jokes i i've

never been like serious like you know i think people should just be able to like who they like and date who they want to date you know yeah and i totally get what you're saying with like the not caring about labels and i think you articulated that well, and that's good. Because it's almost like if the first thing you want to bring up and that you have to bring up about your identity in every conversation is like, Hey, it's nice to meet you. Tell me about you. What do you like? What do you do?

Well, I like to fuck other men. Oh, well, I like to fuck other women. It's like, oh, okay. So you kind of just outed yourself as a very boring person. If you had to go so far down the list of interests and potential hobbies that you're like, Oh, I guess what's the most base thing we like to do other women. It's like, oh, okay. So you kind of just outed yourself as a very boring person if you had to go so far down the list of interests and potential hobbies that you're like, oh, I guess what's the most base thing we like to do? Fuck. I guess I'll just tell him what I want to fuck.

I haven't cultivated any skills or anything. I don't read. I don't do anything. Like, is he telling him that because he wants to fuck him? Or why are you saying that? It came out, it somehow resonated with me. There was an actor, I don't know his name, but he was on Grey's Anatomy. He was one of the guys. And he came out, it somehow resonated with me. There was an actor, I don't know his name, but he was on Grey's Anatomy. He was one of the guys and he came out as gay.

It turns out one of his like castmates was bullying him for being gay. Anyway, and he came out and he said, yeah, I'm gay. Like people who are close to me already know, but I hadn't been out to the world. I hope you don't think that's the most interesting thing about me. And it was like, ah, like something about that. Like this guy was an actor on Grey's Anatomy that to me is the most interesting thing about him you know he's yeah he's in Hollywood the fact that he's a talented person I don't know that's it's not the main story it's not the lead that's just

how I view it I mean I have friends too who are like they'll find a cause and they'll really be super crazy about it like I go to events and plan it and i do this and then i'm a big like you know person who's promoting peace with that and i think that's really cool and i don't mind other people to do that but i personally have just never been like hey i'm the gay chick good to meet you that's all i have to offer you know like i feel like uh i don't know i just think there's there's a lot more to people than sexual orientation. Watch all my videos. I'm gay in all of them, too.

Yeah, I mean, in the same respect, though, I do, like, I appreciate and understand the wanting to, like, build a community around it and make people aware. Because there were a lot of, like, horrible times that gay folks had to face in the past. So, on one hand i get it and i kind of make this joke like every other month of the year i'm like oh man i'm so much more than my orientation who cares if i like girls or who i'm dating and then like during june it's pride month i'm gay as hell like i'm all crazy about it who do you think who do you think has faced more persecution throughout history the the the black black people or the gay people? Are you asking me? I mean –

No, I'm asking the group, and maybe we fall back to Cliff Hutchinson, biblical theologian, because I didn't read that part in the Bible where they were like, and if his skin is darker than the earth, strike him down as well as – No, that part's not in there none of that like if his skin is of alabaster then he you know there's none of that but there's plenty of stuff like if he fucked a goat don't just kill him kill the goat too

and if he laid down with another man as you would lay down with a woman oh no and I think there's something about child molesters about like tying a heavy rock to them and throwing them in the ocean or something. A lot of rough stuff. I think you may have made that one up right there. But you know what?

If that was a biblical punishment, it makes more sense than most of the shit they were doing back then. You know, if I know anything about Catholicism, they're okay with child molestation. As you, like, read through the Bible, like, in the New Testament, like, I almost like to picture

God telling them to like, hey, you already mentioned gay stuff like 600 times in the last part of this. You're wasting pages at this point. Because they really the further into the Bible you go, I guess the further

back you go, the more and more furious they are by gay people. Like, they don't care. Closer to the further back you go, the more and more furious they are by gay people. Like, they don't care. Yeah, like the closer to the origin that you get, it's worse. Yeah. To go back to Kyle's question, though, I think that black people have definitely faced, like,

I mean, gay folks were never enslaved in America. I'm thinking in the bubble of America. But gay folks were never... Okay, we gotta be global? Okay, we've got to be global? Do you know where the word faggot comes from? It's a bundle of sticks, right? Yeah, that they used to use. And if you were going to burn a gay person,

you'd get a bunch of those bundles of sticks and place them around and build a pyre and then burn them alive. That's not true. No, because I keep hearing that. I keep hearing it everywhere. How is that not true? No, I heard that

you were called a faggot was meant to mean a burden. You're burdensome. It was a way to say you're a faggot. You're burdensome. You are burdensome on people. I don't remember where I heard that. I was right about the age of consent thing. I remember that too.

It might not be easy for the gay person but one nice thing about being gay is you can just like if the situation calls for it not tell them you know like you could just yeah laugh along or whatever if you're black you gotta stay black the whole time not always that's that's true but the thing about this is we're going worldwide. We're global. So think about it. Every culture across all times at some point were pretty two thumbs down on gay people.

That's African cultures. It's all black people. It's Asian cultures with all Asian people. Whereas if you're in Africa among a black population, you're not going to get a bunch of anti-black racism because it's all black people. We're talking about olden days or whatever. They find completely different reasons to kill each other.

Did you notice that Mugambe is black? It's like, we are all black. No, no, I meant to say, did you notice that he is gay? Oh my god. Well, we must be. It's like, that's exactly what it would be. And then they're over there in Japan doing the same thing. And they're over there, like, whereas like, that's exactly what it would be. And then they're over there in Japan doing the same thing.

And they're over there, like, whereas, like, that's not black people in Japan, but you get it. You know, it's like, it's the nature of how the populations are dispersed. If you go to, like, Greek and Roman times, my understanding is it's okay to, like, you know, fuck young boys. But perhaps if you're black, you're a slave.

I don't like, I always hear that, like, how it was cool. Like, I think gayness was more accepted in Rome, but the whole pedophilia thing, where was this just cavalcade of willing children rushing down the mountainside, and their parents alongside them going, it's gotta be true. No, I know this for sure about the Greeks,

because the whole Spartan thing, we watched the movie 300, of course, and the Spartans are those incredible greatest warriors of all time. But one of the interesting things about the Spartans is when they were training, they spent their lives in a barracks. They only went home to fuck their wives occasionally, and it was like a thing. It was like you would show up in the dead of night and swoop in and fuck her, and then you were gone the next day. There wasn't like a weekend furlough. You went home and fucked her, and then you got back to the barracks so these guys spent their entire like lives from from from

early childhood to like old to their 45 or 50 or something like that in these barracks and they all fucked each other and a real common thing was the older ones fucking the younger ones though i i think i read that it was sort of a faux pas for the older one to penetrate the younger one so it seems that there was a lot of oral going on. I don't remember this part of 300. Yeah, we always taught you not being able to read into things. Remember that part where he's shirtless wearing a thong playing double fucking like horns like like it's totally like there's a lot of gay energy in there. gay energy i don't remember that part at all yeah there's a scene where like they're like marching to the hot gates like the spartans are and they're about to meet up with the other with the athenians and the other like greeks who are

all and they had this little talk right between um between uh gerard butler and the athenian leader and and he's like you only brought that many and he's like look what i brought and gerard butler and the athenian leader and and he's like you only brought that many and he's like look what i brought and gerard butler's like i brought he's like i brought soldiers you brought potters and fucking you know milkmaids and shit or whatever you know because all the stuff that i really loved that movie and i i liked it so much that i was like fascinated like how did they get in that shape and i so i got had the dvd and i'm watching the extras and they had this ridiculous like training camp that they're all in like flipping tires and like they're doing that double rope thing with the heavy ropes and just this ridiculous

and then of course the end they fucking airbrushing like abs on and stuff see i never liked the critiques of that movie where they're like you know you know those guys abs are airbrushed right you know their muscles are airbrushed, right? You know their muscles are airbrushed? It's like, if you squirt that guy with a super soaker right now and get all of that airbrush off, he's going to look fantastic. He's going to be glistening. He's going to have striations.

I don't know. That was just what fat people were saying at the time. If you airbrush me, I will look like a fat guy who's been airbrushed. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. I will look like a fat guy who's been airbrushed. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. You know that if you did that to that guy, he'd look like a fucking McRib was stuck to the front of his big belly with the fake fucking abs drawn on.

I really didn't like that part you were just talking about in the movie where all the Spartans are there, and they're apparently not too crafty in all the other areas of life except for war. And so everybody else shows up from Athens or wherever, and they're like, oh, we got 700 guys. And he's like, you brought potters and fucking, you know, bootmakers or whatever. And I wanted that other guy to be like, are you shitting me? Like, we didn't have to come. You realize that, right?

We don't have to fucking be here. All right, we're moving out. No, the Spartans got it, guys. They fucking got it. Don't you, Leonidas? How many did you got? Three? Okay.

All right, we're going to take 67% of our people right now. We're going to leave. Oh, fuck. I didn't like that part of the movie. Also, the Xerxes guy, instead of just putting all his super attractive people in his tent when he was trying to coax the FDLTs or whatever. The hobbling guy. He like took a bunch of burn victim women

and like crippled people and like put them in the tent. He was into some f***ing shit. He liked to have those weird amputees and like people with the goat heads on and stuff. No, I read it as he was like, oh, I need to impress FDLTs and get him interested in this. And as he was like, oh, I need to impress F.E.L.T.'s and get him interested

in this, and so he's all fucked up. So I'll get a bunch of fucked up ladies in here because that's what he must like. F.E.L.T.'s, I am a generous god. Would you like to fuck this goat-headed woman? And he's just like, yes, my lord. And gold! Could I have gold? All of the gold that your heart

desires. And he's like, outstretched arms like he's like 10 feet fucking tall with the cgi i love i love that movie the sequel is a fucking abomination and i and i say that sadly because it's got one of my favorite actresses oh i can't i'm spaced on her name like that right now it's like something green uh she was in uh she was in the james bond movie uh uh she's she's always getting naked. She's fucking naked. Naked in lots of movies. I didn't like that

whoever Circe played fucked way too many people. Was it just one other guy and her husband? Two other guys. Two total. Her husband and one other guy. Well, I didn't like that she had to fuck that guy. I don't know. I guess you're not supposed to like it.

I hear you. But I was like, ah. Ruined. Yeah. Woody, that's a little slut shamey. I don't like how many fucking people she's whoring herself out for these little movies. No, she had to whore herself out.

She did. I guess she thought that he would vote her way or something if she fucked him. They made kind of a deal and it didn't work out. And then what happened? Did she fuck him again and kill him? She stabbed him. But that was on the Senate floor or whatever, right? Yes.

There was one sexual encounter. Was there a hint of a second one and she killed him? Is that how it went down? It's been a while since I saw it. No? Nope. One sexual encounter. Well there a hint of a second one and she killed him? Is that how it went down? It's been a while since I saw it. No? No, one sexual encounter. Well, she didn't like it.

And he did that on, I think he even told her, you're not going to like this. There's going to be no pleasure in this for you. She repeated the line when she murdered him. Ah, that's right. Because it was simpler. She's stabbing him with a knife. The verbiage was, of course, similar.

You're not going to like this. It won't be over quickly. Well, I think they were both right yeah exactly let's go through the whole movie in incredibly detailed exposition explaining the you know between the lines i guess so uh i don't know it's not like he suffered it's not like he looked at her you know never like i always had this thing i guess she was raped so that's a different thing, but whatever. It was a really rough scene on her. I like that the thing you're most worried about

when her getting raped, quasi-raped or whatever, is that, like, what's Leonidas gonna think? This is gonna be shattering for him. Like, he just has killed 10,000 men with his bare hands. He gets back, he's gonna be like, well, shit, I mean, couldn't hurt that bad. i got shot three

times with fucking arrows tell me let's talk about that i'd i'd take one cock over four arrows like if he did make it back and then he found out that she didn't have faith in his warrior abilities and fuck some guy in the senate to get him some backup he might be like really really like i think he'd be like i had this under control four arrows now then that would make him kind of a douche in my opinion really because like going on this on the back of the same thing i said earlier mr arrogant i'm only bringing 300 people like well if you if you'd have brought more maybe your wife wouldn't have had to fuck that guy and get a vote like yeah i now i'm a little twisted in the head this way it's one of my flaws i think but i don't like it when

people worry about me typically. I like it when they have confidence in me, right? If they say, oh, no, like Woody's on the North Pole with a G-string, they should be thinking those poor fucking polar bears. They don't know what hit him. That's what I want them to be thinking. That's what you want. Yeah, but they don't.

Instead, they're like, he'll never survive. And they're probably right about that. So if Leonidas is out there fighting you know whatever the greeks maybe uh she shouldn't persians persians all right she's like fucking senators trying to get him some backup she should be like ah those damn persian rainians are not not going to know what hit him yeah the uh the iranians are the modern day persians right that's why I said that. I think there's more than just Iranians that are Persian, right?

I'm sure. It's probably a regional thing. The Persian Empire was enormous at one point. I know we've got a huge segment of listeners from Persia, so let us know. Shout out to Persia. We had a guest. Persian, I think. The Iraq guy?

No? That's Mesopotamia, right? You know, I'm not really as old as they say. The Fertile Crescent. I don't remember. The web between the Tigris and the Euphrates. I think we need a new topic. Sure.

Let me see what I got here. I think so, too. I don't need anything more about these. This one's semi-political, I guess. Five officials will face manslaughter charges for Flint water crisis. Shit. Manslaughter.

What happened? Pipes are bad. Manslaughter sounds like the coolest crime, right? Like, I don't even know exactly what grand larceny is. I guess it means you can steal a lot of money. But manslaughter. Like, it just sounds scary. If it wasn't such a horrible thing, you'd almost be proud to say that you've done it, right?

Yeah, maybe if it was in self-defense. Like, you're getting jumped and you, like, ninja'd five dudes. Ooh. You killed five people in self-defense, Ashley? Am I getting that right? I'm just taking on your official statement. Wiped out the whole squad. Well, four of them are hitting the back of the head.

What do you have to say? I'm looking at the list, right? There's like, their names aren't that interesting to me, but the Department of Health and Services Director, the Emergency Manager, the Water Department Manager, the Department of Environmental qualities drinking water chief. That's a job. District supervisor.

They're all facing manslaughter charges in Flint, Michigan. Is that for their neglect or? Alleged neglect. That would make sense. Alleged neglect. Because manslaughter includes neglect. Okay. So like if you just leave your kid in a crib.

Were people dying from the water? I don't know if they died. I know they they got sick i didn't really follow that thing much i don't think i was i remember that that was kind of a big story but but but like trump and hillary was so overwhelming that that like flint really didn't get my you know slice of the pie of coverage i didn't what the story is here is they were on a drunken, we love the municipal water service joyride late at night celebrating their promotion and they hit someone. And they drank the water before

they did it. In my mind, Michigan's a battleground state. I felt like Trump and Hillary were both talking about fixing it. And then after the voting ended, that story ended too, kind of. Yeah, I don't know what's been done there. Can you give details on who died and how? It doesn't talk about who died.

Oh my God, who would write an article about manslaughter and not say who died and how? I think the idea is that people are getting cancer, people are getting sick, old people are dying early. I think the idea is that like people are getting cancer, people are getting sick, old people are dying early. Like, you know, there's, I'm making up numbers,

but like 800 deaths that could somehow be indirectly tied to bad water. That makes a lot of sense. That's how I read into it. And that's going to be fucked. I would hate to be on the hook for something like that. Like, like I, I guess you've got to take a job like that with a take

you know a lot with some gravity and know that going in but i just when you said that they're under manslaughter charges it was kind of surprising it's like oh but but he was just like the the manager right like like doesn't wouldn't he have to be that greedy guy going like uh we're not gonna pay 80 grand for waste disposal let. Let's just glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, dump it all out right here. I feel like that's the Captain Planet-style polluter that you hit up on manslaughter charges, but I don't know.

I think they usually just throw as wide a net as they can at these things and just try and get something. Or maybe they're hoping that some of these guys are going to tell on the others because, first of all, unless it's a conspiracy, then all five can't be guilty, right? So I would imagine

that what they're hoping is that they're going to tell on each other. They're saying it's a voluntary manslaughter because of their failure to act. So I would think that all five could be responsible. So they may have had a feeling or saw what was happening and they were like, they may have had evidence and didn't do anything about it.

They prioritized the wrong thing. I don't know those positions you laid out. And if you said them again, I still wouldn't know them. So I don't know if that's like a high... If you had been like, oh yeah, there's a private and a sergeant and their lieutenant's up on charges too and the captain, him too. I would be like,

oh yeah, so everybody up the chain of command. But that wouldn't make sense. I would be like, oh yeah, so everybody up the chain of command. But that wouldn't make sense. You would get the lieutenant, he'd be in trouble, or the general crew. I don't know why the emergency manager is the guy. The Flint Water Department

manager, the Department of Environmental Quality drinking water chief, a district supervisor. What do youful. A district supervisor. What do you do? I don't want to talk about it. I work in drinking water in Flint, Michigan. Shit. How's that go?

I'm up for man's water charges. I enjoy Pepsi myself. We're recommending people eat snow. The acid rain is back. That's got to be shit. I wonder how bad it is. Of course, the first problem

if you're drinking water is poison. It's like, oh, God. I can't make my coffee. I can't bathe in this water. I can't use this water for any cooking or anything like that. Is it so bad that you wouldn't want to wash your hands in it? Is it so bad that if you were pooping and that little boop of water came back up your butthole, you would be like, oh my god, just flit water in my asshole.

Would you freak out and fetch your granny real quick to help you get it out? Fetch your granny. Over if you got two milliliters of fucking Flint, Michigan water in your butthole. Dude, if you've gotten clearance from your

shit splashes to fit two milliliters of water back up inside your asshole, there are bigger problems afoot. I'm sorry. I'm only... Gaping over the toilet seat. I have a white chance, sir. A white stance.

Is the problem here that the water's for poor people? Just lay it out there. In my area, like North Raleigh, Cary, there's wealthy people there right you know picture you know where the wealthy areas of town are where everyone you live and listeners if that area had poison water would the feds like swoop in with giant pipes and immediately fix the problem like i knows i think is the problem that it's Flint, Michigan?

I don't know. They might not have the infrastructure to help it, yeah, since they're just not bringing in that much money. Do any of us here actually know what's making the water in Flint bad and what the chemicals that are in it are and how they got there? Is this fracking discharge? Is this coal oil runoff? What is this? I haven't read up enough on it to know what was going on but i know there was it would like you guys said it kind of happened right at the end of the election cycle so like there was so much going on in the news that

it was hard to be like oh yeah let's learn about this drinking water yeah i don't know nothing about this i thought about it because the pipes delivering the water were bad, but I'm just scanning. Yeah, it's definitely the pipes. It's the whole underground thing. Oh, that's bullshit. That's one of those things where it's like, well, what's the solution?

Oh, God. You won't believe it. It's incredible. It's incredibly hard. What is it? What? We've got to dig up the pipes and replace them. Oh, no.

How did we ever do that? Why even bother? Maybe that's why those guys are facing manslaughter. Remember when I-95 went bad in Atlanta? Was it I-95? Kyle, help me. Did a bridge collapse, right? Yeah.

An overpass bridge. There were, like, tires under an overpass or something. It burned really hot, and it went down. Kyle, am I on target there? Do you know? Yeah, no. They were doing overpass construction there, and they were storing all their extra PVC pipe

in, like, the rafter-looking area of an overpass to steal beams, and they were, like, chock-full of this PVC pipe. And then an arsonist set a fire there and The pvc pipe got so hot that it weakened to steal beams Allah 911 that's not and luckily a It's not true about 9-11 if you believe that I've got But and and luckily like I think it probably helped some people a Semi truck driver pulled his rig like across all six lanes or whatever it was

and just blocked the bridge off so nobody would be foolish enough to drive across this thing anymore. And then it collapsed. That company completed it, I think, two days ahead of schedule and therefore got like a $2-3 million signing bonus. Not signing bonus, but early bonus. And they work around the clock. They gave it to the employees.

Yeah. To the guys who did the work and got it done. Yeah. So where I was headed on that is I think the whole thing took like six weeks or two months or something like that. It was a pretty major project and they just whipped it out. I feel like if they were properly motivated, they could fix the Flint pipes in a similar amount of time.

In like two months, they just replace some main money it's money like i guarantee like if flint had the money to to just plop down and and do it they just do it right like that's why i'm wondering like why are these guys upon manslaughter charges is the case that they just didn't write a check were they sitting there watching poison flow into the community saying i'd rather you feel like that's what maybe... I don't know. I guess I'm not educated enough to know what happened, but if they're being brought up for neglect, then yeah, they were probably just like,

oh, shit. This makes us look really bad. It's criminal charges, right? Not some sort of civil suit from... Can you have a civil suit of manslaughter? Yeah. Remember O.J. Simpson? Oh. Alright. No. Simpson? Oh.

Alright. No, that was criminal too. Well, they did both. There was a civil suit afterwards and he was found liable for a large amount of money and it kind of bankrupted him and he had to sell a lot of his trophies and shit. And people bought the trophies and smashed them in the streets.

If it's like a thing of money for these people though then like if it's between writing a check and getting you know indicted on manslaughter charges you'd think they would just write the check which makes me think that people are like all you have to do is write a check for 2.6 million and we'll get this all wrapped up and they're like all right let me just go into my fantasy chest of money and it's like I'll write it all right it's like make it free put it buddy check a whole book of checks call it an even ten you know in for a pound it's like do you realize how little tax dollars we get from the 99,000 people that live here not enough enough to fix these pipes. Well, it could be a federal thing. But it's got to be more.

They declared it a federal emergency like they did for Katrina. And I think they did for that Atlanta road. Like I know they did in Philadelphia a long time ago when there were tires burning under it. Like sometimes the federal government gets in there and says, you know what? Like, shucks, a third of the country doesn't function properly when this highway system is down,

when there's no drinking water to this town, etc. And the federal Superfund cleanup sites, right? That's a thing. Aren't these guys Flint, though? The guys who are on the manslaughter charges? I think most of them are. One of them sounded like it was EPA or something, though, I thought you listed. And Atlanta, I know, it was like the city of Atlanta hired a contractor, right? And that's all. I'm not an expert, but it seems to me that, city of Atlanta wrote a contract to some private – a bunch of people made bids. They were like, yeah, I can get that shit done in three weeks for $8 million. And there were probably multiple bids, and they picked whichever one, and then they got it done.

But in Flint, it seems like they don't have the cash to make that happen. As you mentioned, in a situation like that, I was reading about how they're going to fix so fast and the article would have printed to four pages, but they could have wrote they bonus the fuck out of them. That's what they do. They schedule it and they're like, yeah, you finish this in two months? It was a nightmare, dude.

If they had set up a toll on the road that we had to go on because of that construction and they were like, this is to get the new road built. They'd have raised $8 million in fucking a week. Cause like they took six lanes of I-85 flowing right into Atlanta and burrowed it down to two windy,

goofy lanes that like went off into like neighborhoods and shit. And they had like this concrete barriers to like guide you. And it was like, Jesus, they just threw this together and they had like those concrete barriers to like guide you and it was like jesus they just threw this together and they're they're putting and it was north and southbound like they had a it was this massive artery that flows into atlanta millions of cars and uh and it was down to two lanes and it was just every time i had to go to the airport or into the city at all i was it was just nightmare. I hated it. Is it better than ever now? Did they ride it or help it in any way?

I'm trying to think if I've been through there since. I think I've only been through there maybe once. I may have not been through there since it got done. I don't think I have. You should treat yourself. Oh yeah. That'll be a treat.

Here's a thing we didn't talk about. You know that guy got shot at the GOP congressman, I think, got shot at that baseball game? Yeah, as a practice. So they were going to hold a hearing on gun legislation that day. One of the things they wanted to do was remove the ban on silencers, and I'm not sure about short weapons, although that's in my head somehow. But yeah, they were going to try to make silencers more widely available.

And then that guy ruined it for everybody. What an asshole. So wait, so now we can't get silencers? They're not even talking about it. Has it just been pushed back? Or they're just like, ah, never mind. I think they're waiting for a more opportune moment when it'll play a little better to the ears of americans so right now you right now suppressors

are legal in off the top of my head like 40 states something like that maybe it's 43 maybe it's 38 um but you've got to get a tax stamp just like you were getting um a machine gun or something like that you got a tax stamp it's 200200 extra and there's a waiting period. But then you can get a, you know... And some complexity, right? Like hire a lawyer to set up a trust. That's optional. There's other ways to do it. If you just pay your tax stamp and let the gun store handle it, then it's yours. And this is your suppressor. You have the tax stamp and that's all said and done. The benefits of setting up a trust are

you could put me, Taylor, yourself, 50 other people on that trust. And now any of us can perfectly legally have this suppressor transported, do our thing with it anytime we want and and if you pass on There won't be a big to do about what to do with Daddy's suppressor that that was only supposed to be his there won't be any Shifting it over to my name or uncle Billy's name It'll just be in the trust and that won't be an issue the same thing with SBRs are short barreled rifles Which is kind of synonymous with short barrel shotguns? You know ferro-rifles, which is kind of synonymous with short-barreled shotguns. You know, all of those require the same sort of paperwork, but what a lot of people want

is for suppressors to be just a fucking item you buy at a store and screw onto your gun because... Like ammo. Or like a compensator or a grip or a stock or any other firearm accessory. So for $200 you can have as many of those as you want?

For $200 on top, no. Each item, it's $200. Oh, wow. So they really want to know who's got what. And sometimes it's... The thing about it is that tax tip hasn't raised in price in like 100 years. Like it's been $200 since like 1907 or something like that.

Those were shitty silencers too. No, no, no. Imagine the burden been $200 since, like, 1907 or something like that. Those were shitty silencers, too. No, no, no. Imagine the burden of $200. It's a miracle of the gun lobby that we're still only paying $200 for each of these items. But the hope is that they'll be legal for everyone. Because the fear, of course, on the left is, like, oh, they're assassination weapons. In the movies, it turns a machine gun into a whisper. But in reality, like this.308

rifle over here, this thing goes from incredibly fucking ear-piercingly loud It only like muffles it, right? It definitely doesn't silence it. Depends on the gun. Not with this. So this is a fucking.308, right? Like this is a fucking 308 right like this is a this

is a big uh i don't think any rounds in here no this is a big gun but it uh this suppressor will turn this down to sounding like a 22 like a like a regular 22 without a suppressor it's it's a pop you definitely hear it uh if i was shooting this in my yard they would hear it inside the house but if it's something like a 1911 pistol like a a 45 ACP, a subsonic round, it's so quiet. It sounds like a paintball gun. That's exactly what it sounds. I've got a Chris Vector with a, uh, with a suppressor on it upstairs and it sounds exactly like a paintball gun. There's a, an audible pop and you hear it and everything, but it's, it doesn't sound like a gunshot. You might not hear it in the next room. Like if you shot it with the doors closed.

If you had the music on and stuff, for sure. And my.22, I showed you the other day, Woody and Taylor, like I shot it right here, you know, fucking subsonic ammo on a.22 rifle, and I popped a thing of ballistics gel, and, you know. And, I mean, you can hear it in this room, but it's about that loud. That's it. It's a clap. I mean, you can hear it in this room, but it's about that loud. That's it.

It's a clap. I mean, I've seen them. Like, if you shoot the right round, a subsonic 22 round, the action sliding where it sounds like a click almost. That's the noise. That's where the noise is. And sometimes I've heard an issue that people have. I don't have any suppressed guns. Is that if they get a squib load, I think that's what it's called, where it stays in the barrel.

With a loud gun, they call it a report, but that bang, if it sounds off, then you know something went wrong. These things are so quiet that they all sound like nothing. You can get one in the round and then fire another one into it and damage your gun

because there's no report So what's what's like the bit other than for fun? Just being able to shoot us Silence or suppress gun. What else like do you do? Yeah, you see don't even protect for hunt You can't real so the oh that actually makes a ton of sense. Yeah, so you can hunt with them here in, Georgia That's a that's a new thing you can hunt with them here in Georgia. That's a, that's a new thing. Um, you can, uh, some friends of mine actually put that lobby together, that whole initiative.

And I'm sure they're in one way or another invested in this federal thing that Woody was referring to, uh, because they, you know, they're invested in suppressors sort of nationally and they want them legal so everybody can pick them up. Um,

so, so yeah, hunting in Georgia and a few other States, I'm sure, but I just don't know uh you can hunt with them and that would be really cool i think especially if you're a varmint hunting like coyotes and foxes to shoot them with a something like i don't know something subsonic a 45 maybe or a 44 magnum suppressed or something because they won't know what the

fuck's happening and you can pick keep picking them off one after another that's fun is it too good for killing little varmints? Yes. That's what it's for. That's what my grandpa uses. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, I've killed foxes with them.

I've killed coyotes with them. You just got to, I mean, the way you hunt coyotes and foxes is you use a collar, and it sounds like a rabbit or something. Yeah, one time. And you use a flashlight, and as soon as you find his eyes, one guy holds the flashlight and shines it in his eyes, and he's blinded by this, one time. And you use a flashlight, and as soon as you find his eyes, one guy holds the flashlight and shines it in his eyes, and he's blinded by this, of course, and his eyes shine at night, and you look through a scope and put the crosshairs right between his eyes,

and that's it. As long as it's not a quick and horrifying death. Just... We're having issues. Something's putting little holes in my yard, and my wife says it's a vole. This is an animal I'd never heard of, my wife says it's a vole this is an animal i'd never heard of but i guess it's a sightless mole yeah and uh they make small holes

and then our dogs turn them into big holes as they try to like chase them and get them and this could potentially be an issue with me like you know how like cows will twist their ankle and break a shin or something well that's me with my paramotor. Oh my god. You know, out west, that's what prairie dogs do. Prairie dogs do those burrows and then cattle step in them and break their feet.

And so the ranchers will have people come out there and shoot those prairie dogs at long range with their rifles. Yeah, it hasn't actually happened to me launching or landing, but during setup, you know, you're walking around, walk around, and all of a sudden, like, whoa, there was a hole right there. You know, you could hardly see it. Those are just horrible little monsters, those rodents. We used to go out when I was in Idaho, and these things were just called whistle pigs. They were like really little prairie dogs,

and you'd go out into the boonies somewhere, and with a.22 or whatever in your scope, and these things were just called whistle pigs. They were like really little prairie dogs. And you'd go out into the boonies somewhere and with a.22 or whatever in your scope and you could just plink these things and just shoot them and kill them. And they're so awful that you would kill one because obviously, like Kyle was saying, they cause a ton of problems for the people who own that land. When you kill them, the other ones would be so hungry sometimes

that they would immediately run out and go grab it and start eating it because they're cannibalistic rodents. And so you'd see like if you shot one and came back like four hours later, you might see like a little, you know, enclave of red faced buddies, you know, eating the one that you shot. If you shoot one, do the other all scatter or can you maybe get like four? They have notoriously short memories that I know you like one and they'll be like oh you got James oh

James josh Jesus everybody underground and then like 20 minutes later they're like it's such a nice day out what are we doing the prairie dog shot the prairie dogs are a lot smarter than that they have they have words for humans, and then they have a different word for a human with a gun. No way.

Beep, beep. Or beep, beep, beep, beep. It's like a little bark. They bark. Yeah, those things are really smart. When they shoot them, they shoot them from a pretty long distance. I don't know if it's required. I've never done it. I've always wanted to do it.

But the videos that I always watch, they're shooting them from like at least 200 yards but often three or four or five hundred yards away and they explode when you shoot them they had this they sort of pose for you they stand up on their back legs and kind of upright and sort of sit there and chew and look around and when these things get shot they just fucking go into four pieces and explode and it's pretty gnarly I've seen it if you're closer than that you don't what you can hear a 50 count no I've never done I've only seen the YouTube videos but they like vaporize into a red mist when you hit them with the big bullet and I like at first I thought right sure like you know how you

blow something up and there's still like seven pieces of it it's it's still no that's gone like it turned them into a red mist and birds do that too yeah birds are more fun because like all that's left is like like you'll i've shot birds out of trees and power lines with like high velocity rifles like way too big to shoot the bird just kind of watch this shit and uh the the bird goes and then his tail feathers always do this thing where but like as they fall they go like that. And so you'll see like a leg or maybe two legs sort of fall like that. And then like the tail feathers doing this.

And then this little poof of like feathers. And that's about it. What kind of birds are these? A crow, a blackbird, a dove, like whatever's sitting still and like doesn't know where he is at that moment. You can't even tell people like, I hunting you know oh no you know vaporizing oh yeah uh it's it's we've always yeah i've always done that that's really fun yeah i might i've only killed that one squirrel that was already sick or you should kill some things you'd love it one time we had i feel guilty we had coyotes one you got to kill

something you won't like then we had coyotes that were being troublesome they were just howling all night and i think they had done something to a calf or something because when a calf is like very young and barely able to walk it it becomes wild kingdom even though it's north america so like we were like all right enough of these coyotes we're gonna get them so we set up an ambush we had uh these hay bales set up, like the big round bales, and they were all stacked in a line together, and there were multiple rows of them. And so you could just kind of climb up in them and sort of exist in that space between two hay bales. And it's really soft and warm and, like, it's comfortable. And so we get in there

with semi-automatic 12 gauges and buckshot with like a whole bunch of like rotten chicken carcasses out about 20 yards away. And we wait. We'd been and we knew the coyotes were going to come because they'd be coming every night. We started. We put that bait out there a week earlier and they had been coming to it. The coyote showed up. We just fucking opened up on them. Oh, that's so much fun.

You'd love that. That's so much. How many dead coyotes were there? Just lay in there and afterward. Four. You got four. What do you do with them once they're there? oh that's so much fun that's so much how many dead coyotes were there just laying around afterward four what do you do with them once they're there I pulled a few of the teeth out I thought that was going to make a cool necklace

but then after I they're really difficult to pull out and I was breaking them and stuff and it got a little gross and I was afraid that like what if I like slip and scratch my hand on this coyote's tooth and get something awful? So like we threw them in a pit and that was the end of them. But the circle of life came around and I'm sure another animal really appreciated that.

Perhaps, probably some maggots or something. But yeah, I think you'd like killing something if it was like I wouldn't take you deer hunting. Like a white-tailed deer is kind of a beautiful thing. Have you ever gone hunting before, Ashley? Or have any experience with it? well my my family really likes hunting i i've only gone with my uncle like one time so i haven't i just don't particularly have like a thing for it i shot a squirrel with a bb gun out of a tree when i was like 12 and ever since then so much guilt so i just my family does it and they have you know a lot of like like prized deer and

bear and stuff like my grandpa hunts bear with a bow or i think a compound bow and so i don't know it's their thing it's not really my thing i do like shooting guns though my dad has right now just a couple pistols but we go shoot them sometimes and want to rent like kind of something like kyle's got behind him there and just check those out at the ranch. I don't know. I think I like shooting, but I don't like shooting things. I could have holes in my yard if I

could find them. I don't think they even have holes. I was going to ask, have you seen them or just the holes? You've got to poison those things. They make traps for gophers, I know. Do you like a live trap or something? I'm sorry. I think a vole has no eyes. I'm not really up to speed on this.

So you wouldn't catch them above ground. It has eyes. It definitely has eyes. They just don't work, right? Put some dank food in a trap and get them in there. Pow. Because I just can't imagine there's a mammal without eyes. Well, you know what? I'm looking at a picture of's a mammal without eyes like well. You know what a

Looks like a gerbil. I'm gonna. I'm gonna look it up to how you spell a vo ll vo le Is that one of those things that people like to put up their butts? He looks about right this is real little Called a meadow mouse It's not as cute as you'd imagine. I also called a butt bandit and it's not as cute as you'd imagine also called a butt bandit it might not be voles in our yard but that's what my wife says oh I see they're showing a comparison

between a mole and a vole a mole looks like it has no eyes I don't know how you get rid of voles but because I don't know where they live or anything they have they're not they're not like i've always been set off a trap really we uh we would we would get rats under like concrete pads like like concrete uh like big ones and and and they they burrow under those things and then

underneath them they have this internet interconnected uh network of tunnels that they exist in and their babies are in there and shit. And there'd be like 15 of these very large rats that would live under these concrete pads. And so we'd block off all the two holes on opposite sides of the concrete slab. And on one end, we'd run the tailpipe of a car, the exhaust, into that hole and pump it full of carbon monoxide. And you wait on the other end with a shotgun or a 22 pistol with a knife and a fork and an appetite and uh as they as they come out all drunk from the carbon monoxide that's the best way to describe it because they're like oh shit it's bright out here and they're just gonna stumble out and you just just go on a real rat massacre on that like mousetraps or something

because it looks really small oh you gotta get something what does it eat you gotta gas them it's time for an ad uh after after the gas talk i like i like to uh oh we can talk about some sulfur gas with smart mouth let me slide that on over here right into the driver's seat get rid of your gassy mouth absolutely bad breath is nasty embarrassing and a major problem in both the boardroom and the bedroom most people still don't know the truth uh know the truth the true cause of bad breath instead relying on ineffective low-tech methods like gum or mints to mask the odor when you smell breath, you're actually smelling volatile sulfur compounds, also called sulfur gas.

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when you visit smartmouth.com for free shipping today. If you guys are like me, you know, you're newly single, and if you're not, you will be again someday, and so you gotta make sure that, oh, well, maybe not. Jesus.

What is like what? You need to make sure your breath is on point because you're going to be single again someday. Or maybe you're in a relationship now and you're not getting laid as much as you think. It's probably bad breath. I'm like 80% sure. Take care of it. You're working out. You got a good job.

You're working hard. This happened today. of it i was working out you got a good job you're working hard this happened today lately lately um i i went to sleep last night at like 9 p.m i want to say and i woke up this morning at like 5 a.m or something like that and something about that long sleep when i woke up i was like and i didn't even put my hand over my mouth to like, and smell. I just used the blanket. I just pulled the blanket up and I, and I went, Oh God. And then I went, Oh fuck. Oh fuck. All right.

Let's get out of bed. Like, like, like, like normally it's like, Oh, I got a piece so fucking bad. All right, let's just get out of bed. Let's go and piss. And then I'll be off. But no, this time it was like, I can't exist with a mouth full of cat shit for one second longer. It's time for smart mouth.

And afterwards, it was completely gone. The night before, you wouldn't have had that problem. And that was about 13 hours ago when I did that and still going strong. Yep. If you have that dry mouth awful feeling, they also now have a dry mouth specific rinse, which still gives you the great breath all day and makes it so you don't that dry mouth awful feeling they also now have a dry mouth specific rinse which still gives you the great

breath all day and makes it so you don't have dry mouth if you're a cigarette or cigar smoker or something that other people smoke that dries your mouth out who knows there could be things out there I'm not aware of never heard of it you ever accidentally lick deodorant no

I wasn't bullied that much in high school that's the worst that's the worst. That's the worst thing ever. I can't recall how it happened, but I remember once accidentally, or maybe it was like a fight with my sister, but spray-on deodorant, arid deodorant

got sprayed onto my tongue. And it is the most uncomfortable feeling to have your tongue have antiperspirant on it because it can't get wet. It won't get wet no matter what the fuck I do. That shit is all day strong, goddammit. Strong enough for a man, but it's meant for a woman. My ass.

Oh, fuck. And you're just drinking and drinking and like, ah, it was the worst. Like food is ruined that night. It's like, well, might as well eat like something healthy because I'm not going to taste anything. Yeah. The worst. And it sounds, I remember speaking of deodorant related, you know, mischievousness from our youth. I remember being at a friend's house.

It must have been like 2001 or something when NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys were Still very very big and they all had the frosted tips Remember that? Yeah I'll had the frosted tips and we were all in the backyard of my friend's house to maybe six of us and Someone had a deodorant stick because we all wanted to have cool badass frosted tips like Justin Timberlake and the gang and And we our parents were like no you're gonna look ridiculous because you're all like 11, 12 years old. And we were like, we know better. We went into the woods and some of the, you know, the brainiac of the group was like, if you put deodorant all over your hair, it bleaches it. And we were like, oh, like even at the age of 12, I'm like, like I was there with this group of five people.

And I'm like, honestly, guys, like I'm going to let you guys do this because it was Friday. I was like, I'm going to let you guys do this because it was Friday. I was like, I'm going to let you guys do this. And when my mom comes and picks me up and I go home, I'll see you Monday. And depending how that turns out, I may or may not follow in your footsteps. And they're like, you pussy, you're not going to do it. Well, whatever. I probably don't have enough deodorant for you anyway. And so this kid, at least three of them, coated their head in this deodorant and stayed out there in the woods until it was like

getting dark because they were like, we can't go back in with the deodorant on our heads or they'll know we did it. And I'm like, they're gonna know when you go in and your hair's dyed, right? Does it do anything? No! If it did, your armpits would be dyed. I thought that, but it turned his

hair like a sticky grayish like the color of a skunk's tail after it's been battered around him. But then it washed out, right? There was no permanent dying effect because, look, I just can't believe it because of your armpit hair. The thing is that, of course, by the time he got to school on Monday, it was gone for the most part. Yeah, he just had goo in his hair. But yeah, I'm saying that if you try and wash deodorant out of your hair, it makes peanut butter look like a jiff. It's made not to be washed out.

Yes. So happy. I didn't think about it. But I lost my train of thought. Fuck. It was so good, it knocked me off. On Monday, it wasn't changed. It wasn't changed.

It was just a cakey mess. His mom got mad, called my mom. I had to get picked up early. A total waste of a night. Anybody else have a good deodorant tale? Or is this petering out? I don't, man. Just if I was used it, everything's fine. I sprayed deodorant into the sink one time.

Down into the sink and then lit it with a lighter. And it went boom and like shot a fireball out that burnt my fucking eyebrows off. That's pretty cool. Yeah. I've burnt my eyebrows off like four times before. Like eyelashes, eyebrows, like the whole thing. Like not the point where they're gone, like I shaved them, but the point where it's like, oh oh oh no and like your eyelashes like curl up you know what burnt hair looks like you know and so your eyelashes are like that on the and the tips

of every eyelash it's like a ball of the like crispy burnt end and you have to like get each one with your fingernail and kind of like scrape that off so that it's not sticking together it's it's a real hassle when you burn your eyebrows off. When you light voluntary fires in your home so regularly, like, you can't be surprised. I don't mean to be victim-blaming, Kyle, but you are asking for it. Were you younger?

This was, like, last week. When I was younger. Definitely when I was younger. But, I mean, the last time I... I think I burnt myself a bit with that potato that that uh potato gun that i made last year the year before i knew a guy that had one of those when i was a kid he was a show-off with it it's like a rocket launcher they're badass i fucking love those things and when we go to paintball they have the ones that that shoot like nerf rockets like the the really nice nerff football that's got the fins on the back

that you can throw for like 100 yards even if you're a normal guy. They put those in like a PVC pipe launcher and shoot them at each other. And I kind of like to have one of those. But I've still got my potato gun. I haven't played with it in a while. But, you know, it wouldn't take much

to break that thing out. It's sitting in there like right next to a.50 caliber sniper rifle and And I just like the image of like you walk in and open that clause and it's like 50 Cal and a potato gun Yeah, I can picture you like as the apocalypse is going you know Donald Trump's on the TV Deciding turns out that North Koreans actually have way more nukes than we anticipated nobody could have seen this coming Yeah, all on the way. And then Kyle shows up in his closet, opens the door.

Potato gun, 50 cal. Put your shoe polish on. Grab that potato gun. You get ready to take down the Ruskies and all the rest of them. I've got face pain. I don't need too far in affairs today. Make a real case for World War 3 happening. What?

It's, you know what? What scenario did you lay down? Was it North Korea Make a real case for World War III happening. What? You know what? What scenario did you lay out? Was it North Korea shooting Seoul and then us responding and then China jumping in? A lot of it had to do with Europe falling apart. So there's a European Union right now. But he didn't use these words. These are mine. But the European Union is a salad bowl, not a melting pot.

And they're all different. And they're not really all for one one for all but whenever one of them gets into trouble they try to like fuck each other and not pay for it and uh so he's like you know england has already left greece is not being treated well germany and he seemed to give like i hear poland and turkey and things and think like second rate countries that aren't that powerful, but he corrected me and then said, you know, these are actually a really big deal. And,

and most of the Eastern European countries are screaming with unhappiness and the Western ones sort of have all the money and, and, uh, this, the financial situation in England and, no, I'm sorry,

in Italy and Spain is much worse than we know. They're like 20% unemployment. So he says, and, uh, he's like, that's... Yeah, Italy's horrible. Yeah, he's like, that is fundamentally broken. Like, you know, there's no jobs there. And he's like, so this European thing is going to fall apart

and it won't stay at peace for a long time. I'd like to see that, a nice war between the French and the Germans. We haven't had any... And for once, can we let them finish it? Please. We've been hearing about bad guys from countries we've never heard of for the last 25, 30 years. I think it's time for

a rehash. It's like Call of Duty is doing, right? We went to space. We were jetting around. We flew in planes. It's time to go back to basics of World War II. I say let's do the same thing i'd like to see a france germany uh standoff something like that maybe like get england out there with their armada again that'd be cool it just won't be the same man everything is different now man you got like drones and uh stuff like that everything all the technology is different so it wouldn't be like watching

a fleet of planes going over. It'd be like way crazier stuff. No, I like to imagine the British would send the redcoats and those big wooden ships with like tons of cannons on them. Like David Xavier then this whole time just for this.

The Union Jack flying proudly overhead in their sailboats. For the Empire! It kind of freaked me out a little bit. It just made it seem like big war was a real possibility. And war with... He brought North Korea

into it too. It was just like, damn. What Germany would actually do is they'd probably be like, actually, all the refugees in your shop, can you hear me? You're actually all moving to France. Yes, immediately. On the train.

Oh, they haven't read it. Okay. That's what they'd do. Ship everybody over there, try and cause mayhem. If the Germans tried to put me and all my race on a train, I would avoid that scenario. You know what? I would immediately be like, back to Syria.

Get out your potato gun. They can't have potato guns there. They have to wait for cops to show up with deli meats. Just get a pipe and a potato. They don't have any fucking potatoes over there. You've seen those people. You're thinking of Ireland. Yeah, the IRA.

If they had ever discovered fucking potato gun technology, I think that England would have finally bent to their will, right? If instead of nail bombs, they were using tater guns, they'd have never ran out of ammo. No, that would just be what American parents did, where they're like, finish your food. There's starving kids in China. They'd be like, oh, you're out here playing with your potato gun, are you? You know, at your age, I didn't

have a single potato to eat. It'd be like firing your food around. Do you want to do a fitness talk round? Lightning round, maybe? I'll go first. Oh, for Ashley, so you don't know we started i guess sometime mid-april ish getting in shape um last week i was down 14 pounds this week i was at 205 for two days and i got sick i don't i don't know if i look that sick right now but i'm

it's an illusion of caffeine and ibuprofen i actually feel terrible i was in bed all day like shivering and sweating but you're doing a good job. I wouldn't have guessed. Yeah, I didn't think. You don't look sick. I did just before the show. So yeah, I was 206 this morning, which is real disappointing. That would be the same weight as last week. So hopefully next week I lose two. I don't know. Also, I skipped my first workout yesterday because I was sick.

I was like, I'll make it up on Thursday. Yeah. That's really good though. I've been trying really hard. Uh, I lost 14 or 15 pounds depending on what my true weight is right now. And, uh, I've been working out, uh, lifting some weights, mostly, uh, kettlebells. So anyway, that's my lightning round. I've lost 10 pounds for my starting weight i'm at 172 and uh and i've been lifting more and doing less cardio over the last maybe three days or something like that i don't know i'm pretty fucking sore right now i did squats and uh deadlifts and a bunch of leg stuff yesterday so walking up and down the stairs to get to get down here is just a real fucking bitch i i i move partially move my setup every uh to do the show because i use this mic to game with when i play like battlegrounds or whatever and so i just i'm

moving that and so like as i'm bringing all this gear down i thought i was like let's get everything done in two trips like first trip will be gear second trip will be like my soda and my coffee and my phone and its charger and all that bullshit and i forgot something and it took four total trips and on the fourth trip i was pissed i was like stomping up those stairs like all right mother all right kyle what will you forget this time should you make yourself a fucking list i guess so because you're not wearing any shoes are you like so yeah i've uh i've been enjoying the fitness thing um i didn't really need to do anything um although i i feel like i've definitely my shirts fit better now uh and i ordered i bought some new clothes to celebrate my slightly slimmer physique uh like

i got no love handles now look at looking real trim there my uh my my my my chesticles are uh are just there's no fat there no man boob it's just just a just a rock hard tiny tiny muscle because i don't have have a big chest or anything and and i'm just you know feeling strong feeling good feeling much better than i than i did when we started i think i've been i i drink more water and i steer away from like the the most awful things that used to plague my diet like there aren't any pints of ice cream or 32 ounce sweet teas anymore for sure and i think just doing that alone like is a real uh help to me keeping like just an extra eight or ten pounds off you went up and then back down yeah real quick because

you went like we started this like middle of april like we were saying kyle went from one if i correct me if i'm wrong i think he went from like 182 to 187 to 172 yeah so you've got like a net what like 20 pounds after the up and down yeah so you're feeling better that's good i feel good i don't feel all i feel like like when i'm fat i feel tight i feel like like everything is real tight like my core and like like my stuff i don't i don't get an upset stomach as much as uh definitely as much as i was when i was um drinking all those shakes it felt like i, I wasn't nauseous, and I wasn't sick, but it felt like, if I smelled boiled eggs right now, or like, I was like a

pregnant woman with a slightly queasy stomach, it's like, oh man, if someone lit a cigar right now, I'd have to just fucking leave the room. That pushed me over the edge. It was just always this big, full belly that, like, you know, if you push too hard, if someone punched me in the gut, I'd vomit all over the floor right there it just I don't it would all

come out I was gonna ask so was this when you were eating poorly or what were you doing were you doing like supplement shakes yeah I was drinking these these massive supplement shakes they were like a thousand calories apiece and doing a couple of those a day and and then adding in you know meals too like still eating and you were mixing it up with milk right not water like most people do so it could hit a thousand calories each um got real chunky there i was not enjoying how that made me feel or look wait why'd you do it were you trying to put on muscle or you were just like let's see what happens well we've just been kind of taylor wanted to slim down, I think, but mostly bulk up.

He wanted to get bigger and stronger. And Woody was interested in losing some vanity pounds, I suppose, and slimming down. And I didn't really know what I wanted to do because I didn't really want to do either of those things. So I've just been kind of having fun with it. That was very nice. I feel like I have a physique where I can put on some pounds and it doesn't immediately look terrible. So what that enabled me to do is put on a lot of pounds until it did. And you were like, shit.

At some point, yeah, I weighed 220 even and I was like, enough is enough. There's some day where you like traipse into the bathroom. Like, you know, when you're like I'm talking about when you're in a fat phase. When like, you know, you strip naked naked you're in the bathroom about to get in The shower you're like oh I forgot my phone on the couch and living room and you run out you grab your phone or whatever And then you run back in and you see yourself in like mid gallop Naked and you're just like ah like oh, I never see an action shot like No idea like what a disaster this has been but I'll tell you what, one part of me...

Jump up and down in front of your mirror. Oh, don't do that. It's a good way to motivate yourself. Do the whirlybird, maybe. Hit my eye with my dick. You can do both. Oh, we were talking about workout stuff. I've been doing a good...

Around your neck. Start doing that with it. You know that thing they do with the hula hoop? They'll get it on their neck. I always thought that was the lowest fucking tier of hula hooper, the chicks who just put it on their neck. It's like, who is this erotic for? This is only erotic for Indian men who are into that.

Oh, yes, Bobby's back in sports. Like, nobody's into that. On the other hand, who's that goddamn Remy LeCroix, the porn star? Have you seen that little gif of her walking naked with the hula hoop? She's walking, but she's swinging her hips in such a way that she's hula hooping

while walking naked. That's badass. She's a very good walker. Does everyone know who Remy LeCraw is? I mean, if you show me a picture of her, I'd be like, oh yeah, I've seen that. I don't know who she is. There are a picture of her i'd be like oh yeah i've seen her i don't know who she is there are a lot of porn stars but there are only a few that could have been like supermodels also it's not about that like i don't look for the ones that look like supermodels is

the watch as much as the ones that have like a a look like desperation yeah and fear. Fear. And the implication. I like to be able to tell while I'm watching it that she doesn't want to be there. I want to know if there's some pain. Not really! That's not my thing at all. How do you spell her name? Here you go. I've got some

links here. It's a Google image link. I drink LaCroix brand sparkling water, so I could have spelled it for you. LaCroix, I know, is like the drink. Oh my gosh, she looks young.

She's obviously hot, but I don't think she's who I was thinking of. I like her, and I like this one too. This one is probably my favorite. Her name is Faye Reagan. Real big fan of her. I like this one too. This one is probably my favorite. Her name is Faye Reagan. Real big fan of her. I think she's smoking hot. I used to know a girl who looked a lot like

her but she was not so tiny. Oh my gosh. She's older than me and I said she looks young. It's probably the makeup. Both of these gals are 28. Yep. I like the second girl more. I like the first girl more.

She has a resting bitch face, though. Right? Yes, she does. She always has this look like she's unhappy. Well, that's why Kyle likes her. Kyle likes her because she constantly looks so despondent. Super judgy. Everyone's dumb but her.

Like, ah, get out of my life. You're reading into that so much. Look at those. Look at that face. You can tell that she's not standing there with some creepy, hairy Persian guy with lots of rings going, lift your leg a little more. She's looking into the camera going, Woody sucks and I'm better than him. I guarantee it was more just, look sultry.

Yeah, that's great. All right, lunch. She has resting bitch face. I hate to get away from porn star talk. Pool update. There are a few people who every time I make a vlog, they want to know more about the pool. The concrete one in the day. We're very excited.

It looks awesome. Actually, you probably don't know, but the concrete people came like a week ago maybe was it so we hired a pool contractor and then they have a couple concrete subs that they work with the concrete sub that came out was terrible they like gouged our road and pulled my internet out of the house and something else all in like the first 30 minutes we're fighting that happens here i'm fighting funny you mentioned that i yelled at them so ferociously that these construction workers weren't used to being spoken to like that and they packed up their shit and left so uh uh we did an mi the asshole kyle and taylor both agreed i'm not and uh but what happened is they replaced them with like what I

imagined to be their A-team sub and in my head it played out like this they even prepped them they're like when things go wrong at Woody's house he gets really pissed and he starts cursing out all your staff so don't pull the internet line that's a biggie

and you know like dot your I's cross your T's and I go out there and everyone's great. They're all like professional. There's like three or four English speakers in the crew, which is a very high percentage. Uh, wow. Like a quarter, you know? And, uh, um, they, they just crushed it out there. So we're very excited about our concrete. It looks cool. So yeah, that rounds out my top favorite porn stars. Faye Reagan. Oh, you just didn't stop Lincoln, did you?

I wanted to get all my favorites in there. That's Lisa Ann at the bottom. Elsa Jean, a big fan of hers. Remy Lacroix and Faye Reagan. Those are my favorites. Elsa Jean is 20. Elsa Jean is 20. Elsa Jean is 20. We can break that little rulers

for that one. I don't think we'll be taking advantage of her at all. She'll be just... I don't have anything that she can't handle. I guarantee it. The second one is mega super hot. And Lisa Ann is 45. I'm all about Lisa Ann.

Lisa Ann is so fucking hot. Lisa Ann made this porno called Nalin Palin, and she looks exactly like Sarah Palin in the thing. And there's this part where she's like, oh, gee, I can see him across the border. And two fucking Russians come in with those Russian fur hats and fucking fuck her. It's great.

It's great. That's hilarious. I don't know about national security. Is this a concern? And they're just fucking her on the table and stuff. I've never watched the whole storyline, like pizza delivery guy genre, but I feel like

just something like that, they're making it equally as much for the humor of people being like, oh, you gotta see this. It's fucking hilarious. Because I can't imagine anybody being like yeah i'm horny i'm gonna go watch some porn i'm gonna jack off and get this done and then you go i'm gonna watch a slow roll of this fake sarah palin you know making like moose puns up there in her fucking alaska house i've watched that it's like an hour 20 minutes long i've seen the whole fucking thing it's really hot um and i like lisa ann because like i've seen her on the Stern Show a lot. She's kind of a dude.

She does fantasy football with them and their fantasy football league. She's one of the best at it. She's very analytical and she can just run through statistics and team matchups and lineups and rosters with real expertise.

Then she'll talk about, oh yeah, eight loads in the same ear. I could hear shit. We get it. She's smart and funny. South Park reference. I don't like Lisa Ann. She's not my cup of tea. Just gigantic ass.

She's real big titties. I don't mind that she's 45. Elsa Jean is the opposite of Lisa Ann. Kyle's preferences go across the entire spectrum. Just a wide variety. They run the gamut. You notice I've got a blonde, a brunette, a redhead,

and then Lisa Ann is the older lady in the group. She's going to keep things in order. You know what that is? You've basically got one of those Russian things called Matryoshka dolls where you're like, oh, and here's Lisa Anne. And here's Jimmy LaCroix. And here's Elsa Jean. And here's the other one.

It's just a smaller and smaller person. Where they try to insert the tiny blonde one into Lisa Anne. They get Elsa Jean and try to put her into Lisa Anne. Oh, they did like a dual comm. Yeah, have you ever seen that old gif on the internet where that guy's got a shaved head three-way in the porn industry

no they're cross-promoting tweets snapchats facebook integrates his head into the vagina have you seen that where the guy puts his his bald greased head in the woman's vagina linked me to that yeah yeah yeah i didn't. I didn't care for it. I can't see it. I don't think she cared for it either. There's just a few of those gifs that are like old school internet and they steal every now and then.

I stumble on them on 4chan or something. There was always this one with this chick in kind of a sex harness, sex swing type thing. Completely nude, of course. And the guy takes a full, I think you call it a magnum of champagne with a big bottle and he it's open there's no like sharp stuff going on this isn't pain oriented but he takes the whole bottle and upends it into her vagina and then starts fucking her vagina with the whole bottle and of course it's shaking up the champagne so it's erupting

back out with champagne in it as this is happening like how you get a yeast infection or just yeah all bad like so many bad things and he shook it he like it's like the act of shaking and fucking her are identical of course because he's just like holding it by the base and just ramming it in and out and it's just like erupting right back out of her vagina he's just holding it by the base and just ramming it in and out. And it's just erupting right back out of her vagina. It's pretty outrageous. I saw that when I was like... But not hot, right? Does that sound hot?

As a 14-year-old, I'm like, holy shit, that's awesome. That's normal. Let's go. We're not even 21 yet. Where are we going to get... That sounds awful. Sparkling grape juice. What did the lady look like as this was happening she was hot blonde curly hair no no no what did her face tell you she was thinking as this was happening was it like a because no one's cool with this like what how much coke did this girl need yeah i'm trying to think of like her inner monologue

like what the fuck just led me to this very moment in my life yeah you'd have to be thinking oh man you know if i just studied a little harder or like if i'd gone to camp i should have skipped class that one time and now here i am getting fucked in oh that's like a perfect after school special yeah there you go yeah Going back to that acting that stuff out at the schools. Don't let this happen to you kids. Tied into drugs. I used to skip class and smoke pot and now there's champagne in my

vagina. It looks like a slippery slope fallacy, but it is not. Back in my day, porn all had a story. And it wasn't good. There would be three hot scenes in a 90 minute movie and like now i feel like standard porn is just the sex part the part that people want to see and it wasn't all a joke i mean there was edward penis hands sure but it was more like you know two women on a couch talking about their favorite encounters with flashback scenes and stuff like that.

Like penthouse forum stuff. Yeah, or it all had a terrible story, and their acting was terrible, and it was just the part you fast-forward through. And I don't know why it took the industry so long to figure out that people were fast-forwarding. It's good now. A lot of times there's acting,

and I often don't watch it, any of the acting or whatever. It really depends what I'm watching in particular. I just have such a hard time. I always talk about immersing myself in disbelief when it comes to a movie. All of a sudden if a 130-pound woman takes out a guy that I know would just destroy me in real life, I'm like, there's physics involved here. It doesn't matter how fast she it i mean it does matter she'd have to she's gonna have to hit him at the speed of light for that to matter like it just doesn't work and in the same regard if i see a porno that's just there's this uh there's a bunch of genres of porno there's tons and tons that always uh i hear

howard stern talking about he likes babysitter porn where like the guy fucks his hot babysitter. And I'm like, how lame is that? How like vanilla? Like I see some where like the guy catches a hot chick shoplifting. And then he's like, guess we're going to have to call the cops. Shame, you're going to get in all this trouble, blah, blah, blah. Maybe I'll fuck you instead. And she's like, okay.

And he like fucks her while she's going like, oh, I can't believe I'm doing this. He's like, yeah, you won't steal next time, will you? And there's like 30 of these. Lesson learned. There's one where like a mother and daughter get caught and the mom's just like sitting there cross-armed like, I hope you learned your lesson this time. You got to suck that big cock. And he's like, you're going to suck it too. And she's like, look at that.

Now I've got to suck cock because of your malfeasance like i can't get into that i can't believe it there's another one called back room casting couch right and it's a very rude man i think that's that that's an that's a part of it that he's like ah what the fuck you doing back here you dirty whore and they're literally in like the back room of like an arby's or something that's what it looks like like brown boxes like messy floor and he sort of like basically strips her naked and fucks her of course like she's a professional porn star there's another one called fake casting couch everyone's familiar with the black leather couch and it's kind of a uh it's its own like i get jokes all the time for the couch that's behind me. It's actually green, but in some lighting, it looks black.

And in that, of course, you supposedly have a fake casting agent. The video starts and it's a faceless voice. And if you ever do see this man's face, it's blurred out. I've seen so many of these that I could pick his cock out of a goddamn lineup with a hundred

others next to it. I'd be like, oh, there it is. And there's the scar that he's got. He's got a scar on his shoulder like fucking Bruce Willis. You know how Bruce Willis has that scar by his shoulder blade? This guy's the same one. How would you look through that many dicks with a Rolodex thing? I like the image you're slipping through him. Maybe.

I want big, blown-up photos because that's how I always see his. But it's not an incredibly impressive cock, but his business. Are you watching it on the projection screen at home? Sometimes. Or in VR. I like to be up close and personal. It looks like the cock's about to take an eye out or something. But his whole bit is he's like, it begins, right?

You're looking through his camera. And he has professional cameras. It's not some cell phone bullshit like some people. He's like, so they've got this hot shit coming in. She says she's 25, says she did a little modeling before. And she thinks she's answering an ad for an adult modeling. It's just topless modeling. That's what she thinks.

And he gets her in there, and he's like, well, the topless modeling job, it's out. That one got filled but uh there's this other job that pays three to five thousand dollars a day blah blah blah and he's just and he's like at the end of she's like well what do i need to do he's like you need to suck my cock and inevitably they're like okay and so he's just like fucking these women supposedly that he's just gonna send away and never call again because there is no job and that that's his whole bit but in reality it's all a ruse i discovered after watching like 80 of these things and buying it i i looked closely a bit of a slow learner you bought that shit look at the pot calling the kettle black all right i'm gonna comb valley I'll start with you in a little bit.

So I noticed that this chick is blowing the guy and her nails are normal. They're just like, I don't know, like no polish. And then, like halfway through the scene, her nails are done. That can only mean that there was reshooting. That is what, how could they do that to you? So now, I've got to go for amateur porn. Kyle, honestly, could they do that to you? So now, I gotta go for amateur porn.

Kyle, honestly, real quick, that's like me being like, what really convinced me that Lord of the Rings wasn't a documentary was that the eagles are just too big. Like, that level of ridiculousness. Like, no, it should not be the nails there. It should be the fact that this maniac

with, like, one couch in a white room is getting all these girls to show up for sketchy things and then he's just suck his dick and then they're like well i guess do i get the job uh no fuck you whore oh well i guess i just leave then don't i you know like i guess charges won't be pressed you know he's he's like you know we'll be calling you back in two to three days mark from he's like he's got all this bullshit in these lines. And there are guys who have done that. That's why I stick to the amateur porn now, because I want realism.

I want whatever's happening on that screen to be legit. I hate the idea of direction and actors. I don't want actors in the porn. I want people who are actually passionately having sex. I want... You just linked your four favorites. I'm kind of for the extremes, though. It can be full-on amateur,

or it can be well-produced. I'm not into the crappy production. This backroom casting thing that Kyle's talking about is, for me, just shitty porn. It's some guy holding the camera. No, no, no. I want soft lenses, proper bokeh, good lighting.

I want to know that there's overhead lights with sheets softening it. What are the white boxes called? I want it to either be these are two perfect specimens having perfect sex or this is two amateurs having imperfect sex. I don't like the middle. I can see. Yeah, I agree with you completely there. I definitely prefer the amateur to the full-blown production style stuff.

And those are my four favorite porn stars, but I don't watch a lot of their work. I mostly see those girls on Reddit, you know, as I'm flicking through, like, all like, these are my favorite that I see there. Like in GIFs or or like like doing something

gross and dirty for like five seconds like just milk enemas or whatever these girls are into it it runs the campus where are you lining up on all of these this huge amount of choices and ranges we've been laying out ashley a professional i mean i respect it you got to do whatever you want to do i think i don't know i don't have a lot to say about porn. I don't really watch too much of it. But the only time that I did was when I was a teenager. And no bullshit, me and a bunch of my friends would literally watch it, like, together. Like, well, this was kind of like, not the infancy of the internet, but definitely, like,

we would go to these websites where they would just do crazy stuff. So we'd watch all that. And we mostly just did it for a laugh. I don't remember how I got it, but I procured a DVD porn. And it was called Taco Smells. I remember exactly what it was called. It was called Taco Smells. And it was about these two chicks that worked at a taco restaurant.

And me and my friends didn't really watch it for like, yeah this is so hot we were just like this is ridiculous these girls are ridiculous it was like definitely on the low end of the spectrum man there was this awful age of porn and time in my life where like i'm old enough to even get porn but like there's no like not embarrassing way to acquire it like when i was say 1920 yeah right about there 18 1920 it was like i want some porn but there's really no way to get it there's wasn't yeah like you so so i had to order dvds offline and have them sent to my apartment and and i was i was like oh this is so slick nobody's gonna see this shit it's gonna go into my po box motherfucking thing is too big for the apartment po box so i've got to go into the office and the hottest like 20 like like i'm

18 or 19 like in in my first apartment and she's like this 27 28 year old gorgeous lady is like having to dig my porn out and i think that the packaging was a little like suggestive and i was just like oh my god this is the most embarrassing thing i've ever done yes give me my jerk off tape so i can go back to my apartment give them to me like there's like lubricant attached or something like it's the most shameful moment ever i survived and and go moving on like i had bought those ds, and I don't even remember what they were. I think it was, like, college. Yeah, it was, like, College Fuckfest Volume 8 or something like that.

And the whole premise, it was amateur porn, and it was filmed a lot like Girls Gone Wild, except they would just, like, go to college parties and, like, find some people who would fuck on camera. And I liked that a lot. That was great back in the day. When I was even younger though i worked at a video store for a while and there was one dirty movie back in the like it wasn't porn but it was um they had like faces of death and like shit back there and amongst that was this weird i don't remember what it was called but it was like black booty thunder 11 or something

like that and so i knew it was gonna be black girls but i care i'm not racist i was like yeah i'll take whatever i can get you know so i i didn't want to rent it for my own place of work so i figured i'll sneak it out sneak it back in nobody's ever rented this shit i've been here for weeks it's nobody will notice and they didn't i get it home and the whole video is this amateur filmed thing that's like from uh a requiem of a dream party where they're going ass to ass it's all that it's all dirty black women dancing in private settings for like a dozen guys with like dollar bills and they're doing absurdly gross shit on the stage for money like like there's bananas and pussies there's like beers being poured in a pussy and like drank out of the pussy by like

the random guys all the guys are like reaching in and like fingering and touching and stuff and like getting in there and then the rubber gloves show up and the guy and you would think like i can imagine myself they're like hey you want to go to this little private sex party we're going to this chick's gonna get naked on the stage and do some freaky shit. I'd be like, yeah, okay, I'll watch. Cool, that sounds fun. But when they start breaking out the gloves, I'd have to back out of the room, right? No, nobody, everybody's gloving up.

They got big tubes of lube. Like, I've never seen the KY that comes in, like, the toothpaste-sized tube. They're getting there,'re like getting ready for business and so like that was just a real difficult time in my life where there just was no porn so now that there's this cornucopia pornography everywhere where it's just like anything that you could imagine it's there like like i can have vr porn i can be a woman and like have another woman go down on me and And VR, I can make that happen. Or I can see, I don't know, some dragon dicks or whatever I want.

They've got those sex toys that ejaculate. They've got that sex toy that lays the eggs in the lady. I love that one. I'm going to get that one. I'm going to get that egg-laying sex toy. I'm not going to use it or anything, and I doubt anybody would ever let me use it on them. But I'm going to pull it out and be like,

how do you feel about having Scoopalore lay a few eggs in you or just pop them out at people there's like really macabre pegs or pez yeah you're popping them out of the top they really are they're those are disgusting don't purchase that i'm gonna they used to so blockbuster didn't rent porn right blockbuster only rented family movies they were super clean all their competitors usually had like a porn room you know and the one we went to had beads like like 1970s like bead doors we separate them and walk in and i went there once with my friend's girlfriend and uh i don't know i guess i was an imperfect person but like we were gonna go rent a movie and we were all gonna watch a movie like me my like a couple of my friends to go rent a movie, and we were all going to watch a movie,

like me, a couple of my friends, and her. And anyway, she and I were sent out to get the movie. And the truth is I kind of caught feelings for this girl. I never did anything or said anything or whatever. But she was pretty, and she was nice, and I was single. And I just thought she'd be really cool. Like, oh, why is she with a dope like my friend when she could be with someone awesome like me?

And was there something intimate about your porn? Yeah, were you like, I'm going to get one for just us? Yeah, like, LOL, look, this is the porn room. And I'm like, yeah, wouldn't it be funny if we went in there and looked at all the titles? And she's like, yeah, totally would be. And we went in that room

and we're like laughing like oh look at this you know poopers three or you know whatever edward peter's hands and and we just giggled at all the titles and stuff and i'm like i'm 50 sure she caught feelings for me too but i never acted on it or anything but scat porn is the one that gets mixed in there occasionally with like regular just hardcore porn or whatever. And it's always like, oh, I don't know about that. It's the wrong one. Yeah. Never just accidentally click on one and be like, oh, actually, people are shitting.

I said it gets mixed in with the regular hardcore porn. If you're just looking at me, if you're searching big titties, then you're not going to see any shit. I'll give you that. But if you're delving a little deeper, looking for something a little more risque, perhaps, then all of a sudden, you might click something, and then you'll be like, ooh, that's a sexy ass. Ooh, she's got a toy in there? Nope, that's shit. Oh, that's shit.

She'll start pooping. It'll be a big, sexy ass bent over and she's like reaching back and like spreading one cheek and like caressing and it's all oiled up and everything and it's just a perfect big like brazilian chick's butt like this outrageous thing that should that's just god's gift to man that it even exists and then poop she just starts shitting and and and i swear to god every time i see it it's a much bigger poop than I thought that girl was gonna make it's always like whoa Jesus that's it wow it's always just a big compressed like

Unhealthy turd that isn't like you like play-doh and those things and then you like push the lever down It always appears very hard like like you'd have to pick this turd up and like break it apart to like get in like it doesn't seem like cow or horse shit where like as it's coming out it's like crumbling and it's like giant tubular form i've seen cake farts is everyone familiar with cake farts nah i think it's literally cakefarts.com i haven't been there in ages. But apparently this is a fetish for some people. The girls sit their naked butt in a cake and fart in it. And every so often, they shouldn't have trusted these farts.

You know? Because you're like, that was a chunk of poop. It got out. How can it be so common that they don't go, ah, damn it. Well, we're not poopcake.com, guys. We've got to reshoot. We've got to get a new fucking $3 cake. Don't put that video.

Let's roll with it. Someone will like this. Let me see if it's still a website, cakefarts.com. No, I trust you. I remember this porn star on the Stern Show was talking about the crazy stuff in the industry and how some girls, when they get their periods, they'll just shove a makeup pad

in there to hold back the gates of hell and then do their scene or whatever and she was like talking about doing a scene with a girl and her vagina smelled like rotten meat and it turned out that she had she had forgotten that that makeup pad and it had been in there for like six weeks or something so period blood and decomposing within her like that sounded awful to me and then she described another scenario where like a girl shat all over her face like the girl

was just like sitting on her and she's supposed to be like eating the girl's ass or something and like the girl just shat all over her face that's not as shocking I don't have a vagina so I have no idea but I feel like it'd be difficult like I'd never find like a piece of food in the back of my mouth and be like oh my god I haven't been to Redin in six weeks like where did this come from like i kind of figured that out yeah i don't know how you could forget especially if it smells like how do you not smell

yourself well maybe maybe she's used to a variety of smells in her life i don't every girl telling the story and everyone else in the room was all as confused as you are you're like that's not i would notice bigfarts.com is gone but its legacy lives on on porn hub and several other places so oh my everybody you know so in case you want to talk about a porn legacy does anyone remember heather brooks and her website deepthroat.com or I love to ask you like, do you guys remember Muhammad Ali? Of course I remember the greats. We remember the legends.

I actually do know exactly who you're talking about. This woman is the queen of fucking deep throating cock. And she always will be. She hasn't made videos for years, probably 10 years, but she only made videos with her boyfriend, had her own website called like IDeepthroat.com or lovetodeepthroat.com, something like that. She, her boyfriend has like maybe nine inches, nine and a half inches, something like that. So, so, and, and, and she can take it off. She gets started on this thing

and then immediately like all the way down the throat, all the way out, all the way down the throat, all the way out. And then she, and as soon as he starts coming he'll let her she'll let him like come just a little just like the first little spurt on her lip and then straight down her throat and she and she'll like take all the cum like straight down her throat and i always thought that was incredibly impressive and there are different kinds of genius there's musical genius there's physics genius this woman was a genius in her own right. A kinetic genius. Physically, with her movements. She shoved this cock

all the way down her throat, and the guy's coming, and he's just like, and he couldn't be any farther down her throat. It was just a real spectacle. It looked wonderful, and there was not a hole off limits on this woman. Oh, no. They did some public public stuff there was

anal there was toys there's i've seen the hole i said not a hole off limits there's no w in that hole yes yeah just to be clear uh that i was a big yeah she i think she got divorced from that guy and she has kids and now she's trying to like not be... Are you following her on Facebook now? There was like a where is she now on Reddit or something. Cool. Okay. Yeah, that's what I remember of it. Let me do an ad. Okay.

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Trying to think. I don't want to do politics very much. The Senate just released their health care bill. I don't know if anyone's done. It looks like it's very much what came out of the House. That's what I heard. I haven't had a chance to look at it at all. I was listening to Russell Law today. He was certainly

animated. It's always fun to listen to him go on and on with his insanity. He's like, I knew this was coming! I knew it was coming! And I didn't say anything. You know why? Because sometimes it's best to let them hang themselves. And I was like, wait, if he knew it was coming, why didn't he say it was coming, and then you could rub their face in it?

He's like, no, no, no. Stop, stop. He tries to explain away why he didn't say anything, but he knew everything was coming. I hate fucking Rush Limbaugh. What is it? Like, what came? Like, how does he view this? Does he see it as a good thing, a bad thing?

He was some of the Rush investigation in that regard. I'm trying to think of the specifics, but I can't. I listen to Hannity, too. I used to like Hannity more. Hannity was coming off like a real whiny baby. His voice was a couple octaves higher, and he was just like, hey, and they're saying this about us, and they're saying that, and it's just not true.

And hey, what about Barack Hussein Obama? And every time they try to start taking down a piece of his legacy, oh, they can't stand it. And it's just like, why are you talking about that? You started on Trump. Back to that. He's like, I have every confidence in Trump. I've said it so many times. If there's one thing I don't like about the left, it's they're shutting down speech. They're political correctness.

They're using a victimhood as a weapon. You know, sometimes they're cry bullies. There's something I don't like about the right. It's that they complain about how they're victims to, you know, the press. Everyone's out to get us. We don't have a voice of our own, et cetera. And it's like, oh, my God, put on your big boy pants. You've got the presidency.

You've got the House. You've got the Senate. And you're still pretending that, like, you're out there and on your big boy pants. You've got the presidency, you've got the House, you've got the Senate, and you're still pretending that you're out there alone. And the Supreme Court. And the Supreme Court, thank you. They've got everything, yet still this tiny little governorship. Oh my gosh, right? This keeps going on.

And they're still pretending that they're this minority party who gets beat up by the press. Dude, stop it, stop it. You're plenty powerful. I think it's effective political gamesmanship, though, right? It's good to always be the victim. If you go out there and say,

we're the winners. We beat the shit out of those fucking liberals. Don't even bother coming out and putting your signs up next election cycle. Hell, we just went 4-0 in congressional race. That's what it was. Rush was saying that he knew that they were going just went 4-0 in congressional race. That's what it was. Rush was saying that he knew that they were going to go 4-0 with the congressional races or whatever. But I didn't say anything

because I figured I'd let them hang themselves. I had this analogy in my head. It's like, so, as much as I try to be unbiased when I, like, lay out stuff, in my head, I'm currently on the blue team. I just don't like the red guys right now. And, uh,

rooting against the Republicans at the moment is a lot like rooting against Sidney Crosby. Like, all right, let's just lay some facts out there that we can all agree on. Sidney Crosby is terrible at hockey. Uh, no one thinks that he's any good.

This is just universally accepted. He can't grow a playoff beard and he whines to the refs. I don't know why he keeps collecting Stanley Cups. That much is a mystery. That much we can't figure out. And I do the same thing with Republicans. Like, oh, yeah, approval rates are at historic lows for this term in the presidency, et cetera. Everyone is angry at them.

They're passing wildly unpopular things. They're trying to push this health care bill through. And, you know, so we just all agree that Republicans, nobody wants them. Yet they, like, swept four special elections in the last month? I don't know. Think about this. If you're a conservative voter, if you're a conservative voter, like you may have heard from the media, like, oh, the Republicans are in trouble.

Things are about to swing back the other way. Trump grad is setting in. These congressional races are happening. All these conservatives are hearing this, and then it doesn't happen. It goes the opposite way, and they're like, we've been here before. We've been here before not too long ago.

They said that that Trump guy couldn't win, and he couldn't do this, and he couldn't win that state, and this state, and this state, and he just did it. And then all this Trump guy keeps saying is, fake news, fake news, fake news. They're lying about me. It's really easy to buy into that, because i always say the proof's in the pudding and the counter argument is nothing but smoke so far i'm not saying we won't eventually

dig up some guy who's like yeah donald trump paid me personally to be a go-between but between uh him and this russian agent who was a go-between between me and vladimir putin and like money was exchanged and there were payoffs and there was hacking and and there were actually 800,000 fake votes and spread across four swing states yeah when I when I get that I'll believe it but it just hasn't been any of it meanwhile like the Republicans kind of have the proof in the pudding right they're like media keeps saying we can't win all we do is win that that part is true Taylor's saying for a fact that he knows what happened in this russian back well what he's saying that there's nothing evidence isn't there yet there's a little bit i'm saying he's like none of that evidence of it listen to me that didn't well that's not if we're going by

the if we're going by there the evidence there's no evidence of those things i think i've made that clear i've said that in that way most of the time. Yeah, I remember. I'm not the only guy who sees it that way, that you lay it out there like this is fact. But the facts will come out in the next month, year. I have no idea how long this investigation is going to go, but I'm trying not to go too deep into politics talk.

Whatever. The health care bill got released. It looks largely the same as the one that came out of the house uh currently the republicans need two more votes because four senators said they wouldn't do it but uh i don't know i i can't call the future but it seems like they'll get the two votes they just make some i'm sure they will session and and then it'll actually happen uh what it is on the on a high level when Obamacare came in, they took that Medicare. There used to be a limit.

Like Medicare was only taxed for your first $150,000 of income. I forget what it was, $137,000, $150,000, something like that. And then that cap is gone. So if you make $170,000, it costs you a little more. But if you made like $2 million a year, then it costs you a ton. It used to be just the very in the first month you'd finish paying your Medicare taxes, but now it goes to your whole

$2 million of income. So the very rich paid for insurance effectively for the very poor and this will undo that and what exactly the very poor losing happens in a dozen different little ways. And nothing's going to actually happen with it.

All their goals for changing that Medicare shit doesn't come in until 2021. And every time they do shit like this, they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, we're going to get right on that five years from now, idiot. That never ends up happening because someone from the other party is going to hop in and be like, nope, nope.

It just seems like that's what they do when they set dates that far in the future is they're already hedging themselves for failure. You know, where they're like, oh, well, we had such a good plan in place until unbelievably the side switched again, as they always do. Like, they always do shit like that. I've seen that with admissions a lot. Like, you know what? By 2025, all cars are going to emit oxygen and happiness. And then by 2022, they're like, you know what? Let's push that back.

We can't quite hit that goal. It's like the Al Gore claims where he's like, by 2006, New York's underwater. And then in 2008, he's like, all right, all right. You know, a little. The water's going down in preparation to come up. Trust me. I had a different thought. More sinister.

Maybe it's the blue lens I'm looking through. But it's like the Trump voters. There's all kinds of voters, sure. But like a lot of them, the ones that made the difference, the ones that switched were not affluent. Right. They were blue collar, white males, blue collar, white females, whatever. And I'm like oh by making this stuff take effect like an election or two away that's going to help them

yeah it just buckles down those yeah when he when he runs again right if they had a real impact before the midterms then that might hurt them but it won't they'll be like you know that health care bill pass thing and my life is the same. We can continue to do it. So that was my thought process. It's really like their critique I've seen on it from people on the right is that it's not a repeal of Obamacare at all. The actual Philip Gruber, I think his name is, the chief Obama architect of Obamacare was interviewed and they were like, what do you think about all this? And he's like, well, I mean, I kind of think it's partially not that bad because it's not a repeal of Obamacare.

A lot of that's kept in there. And then I also think it's bad because, you know, obviously from his position, that Medicare thing is negative. But it seems like the Republicans just kind of trimmed around the edges, but they still want their big parade of look at us, look at us repealing and replacing. You didn't do that. Not at all, and now you're all going to gallivant around and pretend? It'd be fun to see the Democrats give it the kiss of death, the hug of death. I don't know a better term.

Like Obama to come out there and be like, you know what? I think this bill is pretty great. I think it's wonderful. It keeps Obamacare intact. I'm glad you guys thought of this. You should pass it. It gets the Obama stamp of approval. Just do that. That would probably not be a good idea for obama but it would be fun theater for me it would be funny but yeah we'll see what happens um we will see i have a story here get off of politics i know that some listeners want that. Here, I'll share it with you.

It is a home invasion story, and it's freaking brutal. So there's these two guys. I'll share them on the big screen. Two barbaric burglars. They tied up a couple in their home and poured boiling water over their heads. Oh, my God. Yeah. The people, the victims in this thing, Casey and Daniel,

they weren't married, I guess. But anyway, the guy was, oh, I'm sorry. Casey and Daniel are bad guys. Mr. and Mr. Boswell. One guy was just watching TV, and his 64-year-old wife was knitting clothes for her expected great-grandchild, right? This is like the sweetest people in my head anyway. These two guys break in, tie them up, and they want the access codes to their safe.

So over the course of two hours, they pour boiling water over them to torture them to get the access codes to their safe. The mom was left permanently disfigured by the attack. And I'm trying to catch they poured two kettles of boiling water over her and threatened to sever her fingers and gouge one of her eyes out they poured one kettle over mr buswell punching him repeatedly in the face and threatening to cut his ears off the pair made off with around 50 euros before going to dubai on a spending spree and were arrested on the return with more than 18,000 euros of luxury goods in their luggage.

So they got convicted. They found them guilty and they got 12 and a half years of jail. And then the judge, I guess, came back from that and he has the authority to double it. He said it was so barbaric they made it 23 years. Dang. It should be life. It should be life. It should be life. You break into someone's home and you torture elderly people.

Give me the codes you're safe. Give me the codes you're safe. We're talking about the Link daughter. Boiled them? Did they boil them? Yeah, he poured boiling water over these two elderly people. The elderly woman, by the way, Kyle, you weren't here to hear it. She was sewing.

She was knitting something for her expectant great grandchild. Like, this is a level of evil. Nobody's ever going to... This level of evil, I don't think you recover from. I don't think you become a good person again after you pour boiling water on your body. You give up the code, though, right?

Remember what that guy Fargo said? That guy Fargo? He was like, hey, look, when an ex-con's coming at you and he's telling you to give him the goods, well, let's just say you better do what he says. He glued that guy's nose and mouth shut and suffocated him. I mean, he didn't boil him or anything, but some people come in your house and start talking about boiling you. Like, just give him 20. That's 20,000 euros.

What's that, 30 grand? 50,000 euros. 50,000 euros what's that 30 grand 50,000 euros 50,000 euros that's quite a bit of money but I mean it wouldn't even cover the medical bills I mean that's a lot of fucking money well if they're in Europe it's probably free medical care well there you go

problem solved that's why everybody wins they're like you know what it won't even cover that year's doctors will put this shit back together but like okay I know we're all split on the death penalty and whatnot. Are we? Who's not? I'm against.

I'm against the death penalty. Oh, I'm in the minority then. I'm pro-death. I don't see the point. Howard, where are you at, Ashley? I'm against the death penalty. I think, well, definitely not offenses like this. You can reform

these guys. I don't know. I just can't morally see them coming back into society in a helpful way, but I think instead of the death penalty, just let them sit there. Go boil in water. Put those guys in the fucking kitchen.

They'll be making tea. You work with your strengths. You give these guys a bucket of boiling water, a hundred pounds of lobster, you got yourself a fine turn. They need a hostage, though. If a guy goes around murdering people with an axe

made of fucking vanity plates, then you don't put him on license plate duty in the prison. You're just putting him in his expertise area. They're going to have boiling water balloons throwing at guards You can't do that Like a guy kills with an axe, you make him a logger Like you work to these people's strengths

Now you're missing the point of what I was saying Which is that you don't like go like This isn't the fucking X-Men where you go Oh Deadshot, you're now in prison with us Okay well we need someone who can fucking throw the lunch trays Back into the place where they need to be You know right at the end of the line Like no you don't do that cuz he's gonna start winging those fuckers at guards eyes You would not I you need to be there to help. I feel like I like I

We should expand it right like it like um it doesn't work rape violent rape point Yeah, let's fucking kill them to prepare to files right Why are we like putting them back in society and putting uh you know signs in front of their houses and notifying kill them kill my mother takes us too much further extreme i do you guys are probably young for this but there was a kid in singapore and he spray painted walls right we talked about this the caning yeah so they caned him my mother was like, ah, cane him. Death penalty's fine.

I'm like, really? For vandalism? Like, I think I've done stuff that bad. Never painting, but like. She's like, well, I'm not sure you should have made it this far. Yeah, yeah. You know the construction road horses? Like, they block traffic with them.

They're saw horses. I don't know. Whatever they are. And they have these blinking lights on them. One day, my parents found that blinking light in our basement and there was no like mystery as to where i came upon one of these blinking lights like clearly i went to a construction site and thought i'd like to have that and now it's mine and uh they were they were just not happy and i was like mom you know sometimes college kids do stupid things.

And she's like, no, there are not two sets of morality, like one for regular people and one for college kids. What you're doing is wrong. She's correct, but like... Mother, I wasn't arguing that it was less or more wrong because of my age. I was saying that my decision-making process might be flawed due to an underdeveloped brain and fewer life experiences than others. And so perhaps you could take that into account before hitting me with

those windshield scrapers. Mother, I'm a grown man! Please! How long are you going to get into that speech before you're pulling stiletto peels out of your fucking cheeks and your gum line? You're going to be getting fucked.

Woody's mom did not fuck around she had ice scrapers that's horrible that's a did she ever like take the rubber band off of the ice scrapers and go like you will never do that to me you know how moms and dads will like punctually spank you with like like not like uh uh staccato manner like with their speech of like you will not push your brother down the stairs again you know that kind of thing no no no woody's was just more of mayhem it was like fight club where she just walked back into the living room with her glass of wine it was like i just want to destroy something beautiful it actually it's a lot like fight I bet. I can just see it.

Like Woody's mother standing there with those things in her hand, tapping on me like, first rule of Fight Club, don't talk about Fight Club. She would like me to point out, whenever this subject comes up, that I was a very bad toddler. Don't talk about Fight Club. That is so ridiculous. When I was seven, I was not a a good person and you guys should know that

and view her actions in that light you know what i think i bet you deserved it you must have right you weren't just a red dragon you ever see red dragon where the uh the serial killer and red dragon i think it's played by something named fiends, the guy who also played Voldemort in the movies. In the movie, the thing that's motivated him to be this psychotic murderer is the abuse that he suffered at the hands of his grandmother who raised him. He was a bedwetter, and he has these flashbacks

while he's lifting weights with a thing over his face, and he's just like, ah! He's pumping iron, having this flashback to his grandma being like show me that dirty little thing show it to me now stretch it out show it to me you want and she's like get the scissors like she's gonna cut his cock off if he wets the bed again do you want me to cut it off and then he's like holding it out like no and he's like pumping the iron going no grandma and just getting ripped as shit. And I was like, man, I wish someone had abused me as a child. That seems like incredible, incredible motivation.

He was pumped in that movie. That was your takeaway? Yeah. You were like, damn. Diet, exercise? No. I need a good old-fashioned childhood rape to get me on the path of fitness. I only bring that up because, Woody, perhaps you could channel some of that into your kettlebell workout

Hang like a wind chime of like fucking all state ice Scrapers like right in the corner of the room so you can look over when you're struggling on a set and be like My mom's like 68 years old now. It's a rematch, bitch! Rematch! In martial arts, what do they call when you like, yell out as you like, throw

a ki or something? Something like that. Okay. I forgot where I was going with that now, but okay, never mind. Fair enough. Well, anyway, I think we can all agree that boiling people is bad. care i forgot where i was going with that now but but okay never mind all right fair enough well anyway uh i think you can all agree that boiling people uh is bad two thumbs down for me on that thumbs down yeah i don't care lobster people i would like i feel like if i was burgling someone like that i wouldn't go to like boiling water like i'd want to you'd want to threaten something

so horrible right off the start that you don't even have to get going. You know, like you don't want to go like, I'm going to, I'm going to fucking, you know, hit you with this hammer or something.

Cause I'll be like, he's not going to hit me with the hammer. Then he hit him with the hammer and like, Oh damn, he hit me with the fucking hammer. Now I don't, I don't know the extent at which this guy's going to stop. You need to say something like,

like in a crazy voice to you to be like, bitch, you don't tell me what the code is i'm gonna cut your eye out that kind of thing and then like immediately like oh all right like i know what the line is i know what's been established there's not a second question here i'm losing my eye maybe you tell them you're gonna cut their maybe you tell them you're gonna cut their eyelids off so they have to watch the rest of the stuff you do to them. Yeah.

Okay, yeah, that's more fucked up than what I did. Good job. All right. All right, so you ever read Carlos Hancock's book? You know, if Kyle and I had pulled this heist, everyone would have unscathed. Get those goddamn coats on one way or another. I wonder how they case the joint, right? Because had 50 000 euros in his safe which we've established is what like 70 grand

in dollars quite a bit yeah um so but most people don't have that much money in a safe in their house they probably had some sort of inside scoop right they have frugarans in there or something like it was like a really nice house or something was it was it actual euros or was it evaluation of euros it said euros oh then they took it on a spending spree so yeah how bizarre that they're keeping that much cash and in euros like if they said they had i don't know like dollars or francs you know some some fucking currency that like they've got because they thought it was stronger or didn't want euros that make sense but like you just put your euros in the goddamn bank bro yeah maybe it cash I would bet that my whole house has less than $200 in

cash the big hits are my children's like piggy banks like you know oh there's a 10 in here Wow that's what's good about thievery now is like if someone did come in here was like give me all your money it's like all right well here's my cards as soon as you leave i'm gonna cancel them even if they murder you murder me you're gonna find out too like and also a problem because like they need to take you with them to you're like they're gonna say give me your wallet thank, and get in the car. We're going to the fucking ATM, bro. I hope you've got a high limit. If this is one of those $200 a day

motherfuckers, you're dead. I promise you, you cheap bitch. That shit better put out $500 or you're going to eat lead. Jesus. Yeah, you know what? If Kyle and I were in this trade, it wouldn't happen. No one would have got burned, and we would have spent the money smarter as well, I think.

Because we just would have... Well, alright, well, we'd split the money, and I'd invest. Now, here's one where the bad guy does poorly. I think we talked about it before a show. But check out this dude. Wow.

Yeah, he stole a bike. Oops, clicked on the wrong thing. And let's see. There's a tattoo artist who's been arrested for torture after inking I am a thief on the forehead of a 17-year-old who stole a bike.

I'm a thief and a loser? I also read the translation of asshole on the last part. If you go to the third paragraph, it says, I am a thief and a loser. Portuguese. I was actually thinking that this was going to be another adult

stealing bikes, but the fact that it's a 17-year-old, I'm not on the justice boat. I feel bad. This is fucked up. This is not cool. He's got a Sidney Crosby mustache. I was going to say, it looks like you did the handwriting was the worst part. I bet this fucker sucks at hockey, too.

I don't know. I'm not a fan of him. Jeff does. A South American? Not known for their skating skills. He looks like the sort who would whine to a know. I'm not a fan of him. As a South American? Not known for their skating skills. He looks like the sort who would whine to a referee. I'm not really liking anything about this bike thief. I mean, I don't think he's... I doubt he's a great guy, but

probably holding him down and torturing him. The photo of him right there being tattooed like this kind of betrays the fact that he is a child. He's got a man like i don't think that's what that photo is is documenting there i think it's like a doctor short of examining him i i seriously doubt that the person who forced that tattoo on him used rubber gloves right i i like the

first come here because that's a guy and he doesn't have the tattoo on his head yet and you can see like the the wire that goes to the tattoo gun like i think he's being tattooed there yeah he's got the czar taylor really makes a powerful argument though like the way that he's kind of just so defeated right and scared as his forehead gets tattooed and the forearm of the tattoo artist that guy's a man and a half like yeah he's got like a john goodman forearm like just he's not he's not even beat up though like i don't know how this happens i get beat up i am a loser i've done dumb stuff as a teenager too i don't think you should get a forehead tattoo for it so what i'm saying is like he didn't put up any kind

of fight no yeah i would, I would've, like... Like, we're gonna throw down before you get the tattoo gun even, like, cranked up, bro. Like, you're gonna have to get me to that chair, and that's gonna take a real whoopin'. I'm gonna be crawling there at the end, like, no! Not the chair! I'm gonna be kicking the switches

and, like, trying to break the needle off. Like, this ain't going down easily. You're gonna have to knock me out. And he would. He would probably quickly knock you out because this is a man who has no qualms with tattooing the forehead of a 17-year-old bike thief. Hey, I wouldn't steal the man's bicycle or bicicletta.

I would not steal the bicicletta. I purchase my own. I've never stolen a bike. I've never joyrided a bike. But I have had like four bikes stolen. On the Ocean City boardwalk, if you left your bike unlocked for like ten minutes, it'd be stolen. It really

sucked. Even a crappy lock seemed to prevent that. People would just hop on them and take them like they were free bikes. It sucked. I also saw the other night, I was trolling the pornography establishments, and I saw these guys who go on these sexcations to places and just fuck 30 or 40 exotic women at a time.

Sequentially, not at the same time. We're doing this like prison sentence. The ways that would be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One after another. That looks like a good time. That looks like a good time. And I was curious.

I was curious. I was like, how much does this shit cost to actually go do this? And I was, like, Googling around. I was like, ah, we're going to fucking Thailand, right? Like, you end up, like, riding a buffalo, like, tied to a bamboo pole or something into the jungle somewhere. You end up in Burma or something crazy like that. And then, like, Dominican Republic. And they had these VIP, like like sexcation resorts it's

all it's all inclusive it's like sandals except they fuck right so like you pay Dominican Republic this is the one that I stumbled upon on the internet you pay like 1300 the base price is like a grand a day but it's like 1300 for like the vip like thing and you get like your own like private little house like hut like with a pool and everything and you get like two chicks show up the airport and pick you up like you start with two chicks and you get two chicks a day every day two different chicks um and then it was like uh like massages and like meals and like a whole like like tour of the countryside i'm thinking like can i swap out the massage and the tour for one extra girl? And I was wondering, how shady would it be if it's golfing, though,

where you get put in room 101 and you'd meet the guy at 100, and you see him walking around with his two girls on the first day, and you're like, oh, this is so sick, but I wonder how long he's been doing it. You get your two girls, and the next day, you get his two girls. And you look over and you see two girls with like, oh, this is so sick. I wonder how long he's been doing it. You get your two girls and the next day you get his two girls and you look over and you see two girls with him and you go, oh, no, oh, no. I'm just thinking of this guy's sloppy seconds all this time. Oh, I would never expect that from a prostitute.

I'm just saying that it might be a little too gross. I thought this was your first time, Trixie. How could you lead me astray like this? You and Domino and Cherry Pie and all the girls. I thought you were just coming down from the local convent, from the hills. I loved you, Tequila. I was a fine-looking American man and thought, whatever. I know a little bit about this.

I've been to the Dominican Republic like three times. And I didn't go for a sex occasion we went for a surf re we went surfing but um we had a surf guide and he would tell us all about it and like like these girls have a sweet spot in their age and they're trying to land men and marry him and uh so it's not like legal prostitution it's literally like no it's girls that are like i think it's illegal prostitution but it's just no it's girls that are like i think it's illegal prostitution but it's just overlooked they have more freedoms than we do interesting carry up and up yeah like like in in the netherlands like you could i was listening

to jim jeffries he's like you can smoke weed and fuck a prostitute in front of a cop right they're the freedom champions of the world not america anyway yeah but the dominican republic i often felt that way like it just seemed like there were fewer rules there you know you want to like climb a stalactite here there'd be velvet ropes and shit there go fucking stalactite it's not a good thing though because it's like i i went swimming with sharks in the dominican republic when i was much much younger and like as a family trip. And like as I was young enough, it was like, oh, whatever. Like it's kind of neat. Like, oh, I can see the sharks down there swimming. They weren't giants or anything. But looking back,

it's like those two fucking dudes that took us out on that boat, they didn't know those two Dominicans. They were not looking out for safety at all. Like if you go to like Florida and you want to do like a strap in Paris sailing, there's a guy they're like alright let's make sure the three-point harness and all this let's make sure it's all good alright and you're safe. In the Dominican Republic it's just like alright so we can jump in with the Sharks now they're like oh whatever you want. I want a little bit of structure here to give me the illusion of safety and like I think that like the cost of those sex vacations is inversely related to how prevalent HIV is.

That could be. The surf guide was saying that like... You wouldn't go for a sexcation in the Congo, in the People's Republic of the Congo or Uganda. Because you'd be like, well, that's risky business. Apparently the girls present themselves as the perfect wife, and then they get totally lazy, and they're one of the worst wives you could ever have. That doesn't sound nice.

The Dominicans are unique in this way, aren't they? It's a shocking way for someone to act. I'm saying that initially the woman acts a certain way, and then once she has what she wants she reverts back to some sort of slug-like performance i oh i've seen this in real life and men don't also do this just as fucking badly wait a minute this isn't just a human thing is it yeah it is yeah it's just what people fucking do you know you first meet somebody whatever you're giving them the best version of you and not the real best're giving them the best version of you. And not the real best version of you.

The best version of you you could cook up right then, right? Like, maybe I'll crank out 10 push-ups before I open the door. I'll get a little pump going, right? Like, you're right about it just being a human thing. Because animals, the ones that pair off, they seem to keep their shit together. Like, eagles or whatever stick together. Like, you never watch Planet Earth and see david attenborough being like and after six months the birds return to their nest and you can notice the males put on quite a bit of weight

he's now more than just colloquially bold the females irate she's a more attractive bird. She's in too deep. She's financially dependent on this bald, fat bird. And as humans, dependence breeds resentment. That's true. Yeah, absolutely. I like David.

David Attenborough is losing his memory. He's getting Alzheimer's but they're gonna they're already working on the next Planet Earth for him if you want something really amazing to watch on your 4K TV it's Planet Earth 2 how do you find it? I can't find

like a good 4K link for it buy that DVD I lost my 4K DVD I'm most positive I saw it on Amazon last night or the night before or something. I was looking at TVs. I was going down the fancy TV rabbit hole that I occasionally go into.

It's just like, Woody and I talk about this all the time. The whole buy it nice or buy it twice. Oh, Elephant. That's a good thing. I start out thinking like currently I've got a 72-inch 1080p TV, and I'm like, well, I definitely don't want to go down in size. That can't happen.

But I do want 4K resolution. I can't stream in 4K. I don't have the bandwidth. But I've got a Blu-ray player and everything, and there's some movies that I would just prefer to watch in 4K for sure if I can. And I'm like, okay, Jesus Christ, all right, $3,700. sure if i can and i started i'm like okay jesus christ all right thirty seven hundred dollars that's what it takes to get like a a 72 inch uh 4k tv and it's like all right well that's not much more than this one cost i think the one i've got was like four thousand dollars whenever i got it

like five years ago or something like that it's 86 fucking inches wide for $7,000? And then it's like curved 4K, like 85 inches for like $7,000. And it's like freestanding. It's like this enormous fucking beautiful thing that I want so bad. And then I'm like, 96 inches, you say? Clickety click. bad and then i'm then i'm like 96 inches you say clickety click and it's ten thousand dollars for this 96 inch like 4k jumbotron that you get your own fucking house and i'm like you have to ensure that like a car exactly i was like i'd get more use out of the car wouldn't i like i'm like

how much time do i spend watching television i mean it's it kind of makes sense right it's considerable this is an investment for my entertainment you know it's got to be a ton of time because anytime i'm like hey have you seen this new show kyle's like oh yeah just wrapped up season six it's like oh all right well have you seen this new movie oh yeah i just got it on 4k okay all right well i'll catch up i'll try speaking i like to stay up to date and i i feel like i i'm good at picking the like good show i guess i'm not i know there's a lot of like like really good diamonds in the rough out there that i just don't watch and i'm always hearing about i know that uh atlanta show is really good and i'm sure orange is the new black is amazing and i'll watch those but the ones i do watch i really fucking love and get into and like

to watch them multiple times. Right now, I'm watching Six Feet Under, and I'm just kind of like, hate watching it at this point, you know? I'm just like sitting there like, Walter Cromwell's on now? When the fuck did this happen? He's marrying the mom?

Jesus, it, it, it, that doesn't make any sense. Okay, well, Walter just it gets so weird and they i don't have an issue with the gay stuff i really don't like like there's plenty of shows i've watched that like i mean i love will and grace i like that show i thought it was fucking hilarious but there is so much beating me over the head gayness in this show just just real out i just keep seeing michael c hauled fucking guys in the ass left and right there's there's lots of there's lots of gayness like he's sitting there

watching gay porn while he talks dirty with a gay man on the phone and he jerks off and it's it it's just a little much but i'm still like four seasons into this motherfucking show and can't stop and i'm gonna watch it are you waiting for the payoff? You're like, ah, yes, it was worth it. Honestly, it's that I'm this far in and I've seen virtually everything that HBO's ever made. And I just want to knock it off the list. Will you watch The Young Pope? I need a weather vane to just go out into that storm

and let me know if it's good or not. I watched the first episode it didn't really capture my excitement but you're the sort who would be perfect i don't know i don't know of that but the young pope is an hbo series and yeah it's good but the first episode didn't didn't light my fire did you ever watch... Oh, I see it's got... What's his name playing? Oh, that's cool. Yeah, I'll definitely watch that. Is it Jude Law?

It is Jude Law. Yeah, yeah. Excellent name recall. Even a broken clock twice a day. Yeah, I'll check that out. That seems fun. I like Jude Law. I really like HBO productions. And I don't know much about them um that guy mo that that that that you know and his um his brother you know the guy who was always talking

about shitting himself he worked on uh boardwalk empire like like he was yeah he had some like he was on set like doing things in some sort of production role or something i don't recall because he was talking about how expensive their sets were how like they'd have a two million dollar set and stuff like that and so i wonder i know mo is very very wealthy is his brother also super wealthy you know i i doubt he's worth 15 or 20 million like mo is but but but he seems to be the kind of guy who's probably making 800 000 dollars a year or something like that and just really having a good time. He was really down to earth for a guy that can have anything

he wants. Dude, you should see his Christmas cards that he sends me. Every year it's him. There was two guys, I don't know if you recall, but it was him the guy who shits himself. Jesse was a much more clean cut and smaller fellow. No beard, clean cut, parted hair.

He's the guy I blow up in that bad day video I made or whatever. He's the one who goes out there to check the wires, and then I blow him up or whatever. But in any case, they send me a Christmas card every year, and it's the two of them in like these weird situations. Like they'll be like angels or like dressed there's like there's like a photoshop involved and they're often really homoerotic and like like one time i think they were both like cherubs like blowing kisses at each other and like their heads on like babies and like uh their christmas cards up there now i'll grab it a little bit if i if i walk back up there but but yeah, those guys are cool. I like both of those guys.

It's really cool and it blows me away. Something about their net worth makes me think that they would change them somewhat. I'm sure it has in pieces, but they're easy to hang out with. I've even talked about this. I would love the idea of being a billionaire just so

I can do the Warren Buffett route, the spite route of like, Oh, all these other billionaires with their Teslas and their whoopty do's. I drive the same 1997 Honda Civic. I drove when I made my first million. And just cause you would know, cause like the feeling of knowing how many people that bothered would be

enough to get you like through it. And you can still have a really awesome house on the inside inside just make sure the outside looks like super humble and stuff and never invite people in like that that would be my play for sure have an underground lair of sorts and then at the end of my life when they like explore it and they're like like uh you know cnn does like uh you know behind the music style news thing for like eccentric billionaires i'm gonna be the one that everybody remembers you know taylor's you know frugal lifestyle nothing more than a ruse and then it'll go through and they'll see that they were bamboozled the whole time i'll just like i won't even drive them i'll buy six dope cars in the basement just to have them there for the shot check out his

golden bunker a mile underground that's what i would do and buy sports teams and ruin them but we've gone through that oh speaking of sports when you were uh you were talking shit on sydney crosby i've never showed this i was completely accurate with the sydney i've got that i would just spit in facts that's uh rookie well that's sydney crosby that's his signature that says to taylor and that's me with him this is circa 2005 his his fucking and you kept that's supposed to get and i kept it because it's sydney crosby his signature to me and he looks upset in it and you can tell it's old because he's holding a flip in it because this was his rookie year and in 2005

the blues sucked dick and the penguins you know were supposed to be good because they had fucking sandy crosby now and they got beaten badly that game by the blues who were a shit tier team and so when we like accosted him and like underneath the savas center at the time he was he was not enthused about it so i thought that was neat though so you have to admit it was pretty cool i, though. It's pretty cool. I don't know. I mean, I have a hockey stick from Sean Hill, which is a way bigger deal. This is a Ray Bork stick. Signed. That's great.

And for people who don't know hockey, Sean Hill is not a way bigger deal than Sidney Crosby. Or Ray Bork. As a matter of fact, his old stick's in the used section of my local hockey shop. But he did play for the Hurricanes he was a guy but anyway jim and i were on ebay looking at uh vladimir teresinko signed autographed sticks or whatever and thinking about getting that as like a spite purchase i was like what if i what if i had this 480 back scratcher signed by Teresinko? And then I was like, oh, it literally hits the spot. And then it's like sling it so disrespectfully into that closet with horse shit in it. And it's just like a clack.

Oh, look at that. The laminate just came right off. What a piece of shit. I just want to see the tear go down your face like that Indian watching the litter. And I would have because that would have bummed me out if you were like oh look what i if you pulled that on screen right there it would have been the biggest pie in my face moment of i'm like upping woody's like not even real challenge i'm like oh they got ray bork and kyle's like oh what's the name of your favorite player again i found one and it's from the playoffs this year

believe it or not pull it out there there. That tape's still sticky. He actually did. Do you ever read, like, Players Tribune? Do you know what that is? It's, like, when they take players from all the four major sports, and it's, like, a journalistic thing, where then they'll, like, write a really interesting story about their life, the player themselves will. Well, usually they're, like, super eloquent and well-written,

and they obviously get like the most famous people per sport to do it they just got vladimir tarasenko to do one and they did not at all edit it to make it sound like a man who speaks english wrote this like it is you read this it is so so clear that this is just a Russian guy trying his best to write an article in English. Just ethically broken? Yes, just not even close. Not even close to real English.

He said, I want to tell you a story, but get something off my chest first. And a pop-up. Son of a bitch. I am sorry to St. Louis. I feel like I didn't do as much as I should. I know we had World Cup in September. New coach, players injured.

But there are excuses? No excuses. It's for a loser. I am not a loser. I am winner. I like him. Yeah, I like him too. He has a whole passage

thank you thank you for that word from the Hulk moving on to Don on the weather Hulk said try hard to win but Thor had magic I thought that Russian accent was like 30% better than all my other accents

I liked this one. It was. They asked him, of course, like, what do you think about America? He's like, everybody tell me to try barbecue. Vladimir, try the barbecue. I do remember going out for food during camp with a few blue skies. I see soup listed appetizer. I've got to tell you guys, soup is not appetizer.

This is not right. It is full meal. you know borscht Yes, that is full meal you eat. It's good. You don't need anything else learning to love American food and it's like Like a real eye-opener to how shitty you're like options of food have been your whole life Yeah, it's a like fucking TGI Fridays and they give you you know The New Testament to flip through as you're looking fridays and they give you you know the new testament to flip through as you're looking for options and they're like oh soup that's just an add-on

oh like i'm like so resentful i'm gonna have to pretend that this is ridiculous when everybody who shows up is borscht is beet soup like it's not even like some hearty meaty soup it's not like he said like like with carrots and potatoes or something with lamb. It's beet stew. It's the Dwight Schrute special. It's one of the most porous dishes I can even think of, right? That's terrible. I'd much rather have potato soup.

I'm glad you said that because I had no idea what borscht was. I thought it must be like some sort of beef and vegetable stew. No, it's just beets. I wouldn't eat a beet as a side. If someone was like, alright, and your burger this evening comes with a sliced beet, I'm going to go, alright, well, you know, I keep that in the kitchen.

I think that the reason we grow beets now is mostly for sugar. I think that most of the world's sugar comes from beets. That sounds believable. I believe that unwaveringly. I'm on board. I think the more sugar comes from sugar, the more sugar he does from cane. I mean, if I learned anything in Minecraft, it's a stalky green plant.

But if Kyle says it's beets... Yeah, that's cane sugar. But I think beet sugar is more prevalent and cheaper. Sugar beets. Is that different than a regular beet? I believe so. cane sugar but I think beet sugar is more prevalent and cheaper. Sugar beets. Is that different than a regular beet? I believe so. I think that Dwight Schrute had some more savory beets that perhaps you'd use in a salad or some other meal. But the sugar beets of South America, if I remember correctly, are used more, uh, are used for, for, to make sugar.

Looks like in 2009, sugar beets accounted for 20% of the world's sugar production. That's a lot of sugar. I don't know what to believe. Not most of it, though. I don't know what to believe. Kyle's off-handed comment or Wikipedia? Hard to say. Hard to say.

I'm going to go with Kyle's off-handed comment. He wrote them. And I'm going to, I'm going to tell that to people when I go out this weekend as, like, a fun fact. I'm going to go with Tales of Offhanded Common. He wrote them. And I'm going to tell that to people when I go out this weekend as, like, a fun fact. I'm going to do that. Do you ever do that? Do you ever spread misinformation through fun facts? No. Oh, yes.

I hate misinformation so much. I hate when people fucking do that. Because there's so many, like, wives tales and shit that, like, sometimes you'll find out, like, yeah, that wives tale is true. If you've got a leaky radiator, you crack an egg and throw it in there. It fucking jams up the hole or whatever. But then sometimes it's like, nah, that's not true at all. You're just spreading misinformation and, like, the bad kind. I almost did misinformation to Woody earlier when we were talking about the vole thing.

Because I remember as a kid when my parents had moles around, they were like, oh, I heard from someone if you put like chewed up gum in their holes that they'll try and eat it and they can't chew it and they'll like choke or they'll suffocate or something because it's just too but they can't I don't I don't know and then I actually googled it before I was gonna say something but it was like no this stupid stupid, ridiculous, asinine approach to rodent removal.

I was like, God, this guy's passionate about vole removal. He's a professional. He does not abide a fool in the vole removal industry. How did he remove voles? I didn't get to that part of the article. If you actually want to get rid of them,

then I would imagine the trap would be the way to go. Get a couple of live traps. Do those little animals work? Oh, yeah. Put something smelly in there. You'll catch something. The thing about poison is your dogs. I don't know.

What I've used in situations where there are pets around is they make this... Imagine a plastic box that looks like an old school lunch box and it's one of those things where it's like one way in and no ways out.

It's one of those things where a rat can go in and go down a little corridor and get to the poison but you could turn this thing upside down and shake it and you'd never get the poison out and to get poison in you put a key in and turn it and it unlocks the top and you open it and you'd never get the poison out and to like get poison in you put like a key in and turn it it unlocks the top and you open and you put more poison in so like that always works around dogs to keep them out of it and a lot of rat poison we always used a rat poison

called one bite that came these big yellow bars and it was just so fucking deadly that that like you we'd hear stories about people's dogs that you know they're like yeah the dog just died there was no like chance to like get some foaming at the mouth dog help like we just went outside there's a dead dog you know it's just so poisonous so that's gonna suck uh so poison will work i would imagine i don't know anything about voles though i'm talking about rodents like mice and rat and I don't even know where the vole makes his home at night, right? Like is he in a little burrow somewhere out in your yard? I pictured a tunnel system under there, but I don't know. Cool. I usually if you could find those tunnels that might be an interesting video gassing the vole

YouTube clip me. Ooh, shot back! Fucking suck that vole up. That'd be cool. Won't work, but it'd be really cool. No, it won't work. That will not work. Ashley, I'm curious about the business. I've been out of the gaming scene for so long now. Do people still make gaming videos as a primary? It seems like everyone's moved to Twitch.

Yeah, especially my channel. I've definitely focused more on Twitch. There was a lot of combinations last year. It was Infinite Warfare and Modern Warfare Remastered coming out. It kind of divided the community in a way. Infinite Warfare was not popular with viewers. But Remastered kind of was, maybe? Kind of, but I noticed for the first month or two on my Twitch,

it really did well because it's the nostalgia kick. And they did do a really good job of supplying content for the game and keeping it fresh. They had game modes. They added a lot of stuff to the game. It definitely wasn't like COD 4. It was like literally it was like a remastered different version of it. So it did well, but eventually people get bored of it. They're like, I don't really want to watch that.

So I find like I get the most viewers still if I play like black ops 3 which was last year's call of duty or if i just play like a random older one but yeah as far as like youtube videos uh it's it's tough right now like the the interest is not there as much that i've noticed and also that with this ad stuff like especially call of duty world war i videos, they're actually getting like demonetized because of the types of content that it has. And that's affecting like a lot of my YouTuber pals who are posting like, for instance, E3 just happened. So they were capturing actual in-game footage and then uploading it, right? And so some of them got demonetized. I don't know about all of them i

only talked to one of my friends who went but he said like all of his world war ii stuff gets demonetized and like really that can be really frustrating i guess i mean and youtube tried to like put out this uh not like a rule set but just like like a terms of service almost of like your video may be demonetized if it has this or this, but it's just so vague. And so I don't know if like Activision or YouTube themselves can maybe do something for that particular game. There was like news that came out because of an interview

that someone who worked at YouTube did. He said like, you know, gaming videos are fine as long as it's like, you know, commentary style or, you know, just showing you playing, like, multiplayer, but montages where it's, like, excess just kill, kill, kill, kill, blood, everything, yeah, like, that could be demonetized, and it's just, like, it got everyone kind of in the COD community, like, in a ruckus, so I don't know. I think with this new Call of Duty kind of going back to its roots, if it's a good game And it has like good content to make out of it. I'll probably post more videos about it, but

Other than that like growing a community on Twitch has been more my thing in the old days YouTube was like the center of the universe and oh yeah, Facebook Twitter and Twitch all kind of existed as a way to cast a Wider net so that people would learn about your youtube channel like that yeah that was what now it seems like twitch is the center of the universe and youtube is just kind of casting a wider net so maybe people find your stream which is the business that's the money maker right well i mean it's a it supplies you with just like stability when youtube is so unstable and especially now with this like i mean the last call of duty infinite warfare got a lot of hate and it almost like i mean the last call of duty infinite warfare got a lot of hate and it almost like i don't think it's a bad game per se and everyone when i see

that they're like oh my god you shill but uh i think that uh it's it just came out the wrong time no they do but this one was really bad i mean the the reveal trailer is like the most dislikes on youtube it kind of became like it kind of became like a meme to hate the game they're like infinite shit fair whatever and so number one i didn't particularly enjoy the game or understand at that time how to make videos about it because i didn't enjoy it um fully and then also just push back from my viewers of like well we don't want to see why are you playing this nobody likes it so So it's difficult from a content standpoint to want to post it. There are some people that really like that Call of Duty, but it's definitely not popular. I'm not saying, but it seems like Overwatch is the new

cod. Kind of, yeah. It switched to CSGO for a little bit. Now Overwatch is really big. If we're talking about games that are big on twitch is battlegrounds is just taken over which makes me sad because i wish i liked it more you don't like it i like it love it i fucking love it i i like h1z1 and i know you're like oh my god that's it's like the kiddie version i guess of the game because it's made by the same guy. I don't know if you guys know that. The same guy that made H1Z1 made PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds. I like Battlegrounds. That's really fun with friends.

But by myself, I just fall asleep. I'm looking for people. Everyone's in a bush. I just can't thrive. I play for hours online or in solo. Really? Yeah, I like the solos as much as I like squads. Like in squads, I'm always having to...

I don't know. There's a lot of bad guys out there, and it can get... I still enjoy it. I enjoy the teamwork aspect of it, but solo is a lot more fun for me. I like that. Let's say you do well, and you're one of the last 10 players, but you don't win. How long is a game? 30 minutes tops.

Yeah, 30 to 40 minutes. Depending on how it goes. Yeah, like in the scenario you described where it gets down like the last 10 and you die. Probably 25, 30 minutes. If you win one, it's about 30 minutes. My average game was between 3 and 6 minutes. Yeah.

Couldn't find a gun? Die. No, just not good at the keyboard shit. The YSD. Oh, really? I don't know how to do Die. No, just not good at the keyboard shit. The WASD. Oh, really? I don't know how to do that. Not a PC gamer quite yet. It takes a while. It's a big transition. Go back to when we were playing

those games a couple of years ago. It was terrible, and then we played CSGO, and it was just struggling. It's like, oh, I can't fucking... It's hard, though, to get good with the computer, though, because it's like, I don't play PC games very often, and when I do, they're all RTS, and so you're not using WASD if you're in an

RTS game. It's true. And it'd be like if I, if every other week I did 30 minutes of pole vaulting training, I would never be good at it. That's true. I would always suck forever and ever. Like, all I do is hop into the game. Kyle and Chiz are like,

all right, we're going to land right here. And then they both go land where they're supposed to. And I'll be like, all right, well, I'll meet you. You know? 40 miles west. And then I run over there and die. And it's like, oh, shit. Well, I was pretty on point with my W move right there,

going straight until I got ran over by a buggy with some asshole already has. Yeah, you've got to... If you actually want to get good at it, that's just not the game to start with going straight until i got ran over by a buggy with some asshole already has but yeah you gotta if you actually want to get good at it that's just not the game to start with because a everybody else is really fucking good like like i remember when chiz and i first started getting on um like some guy was outside a building we're on two-story like flat top type scenario and he was like oh there's a guy and the guy went boom and fucking killed us and he was like whoa i can't even move that fast in this game.

And now I can. Now I'm much faster. I feel like I'm three times faster than I was then. But that's the learning curve that there is. Like, if you're still that guy who's like, yeah, there's a guy outside. All right, walk to the left. Now turn my head to the right. Now crouch up.

Like, if you have to do that, that other guy does that in a microsecond. And then ducks again. and then fires again. You just can't compete with that guy. And in that game, you got one life. So you go in and it might take eight minutes to even get in the gunfight and the gunfight is over in an instant and you're just done for. And there's no kill cam, so you're not getting any better. You're not getting repetitions. You're not getting reps in.

In like Call of Duty, it's like into the fray and die into the fray and die into the fray and die it's like tons of cardio like like just you know 30 reps a game right but this is one rep per game it's it's but it's heavy weight it's a completely different kind of situation i think that's what contributes to the twitch viewership because well i mean there's a big like pc like push on twitch obviously but like when for instance i really got into PC gaming. Like, I played a little Counter-Strike, but I really got into it with H1Z1, like, a year or two ago on, like, the old map and everything. I thought it was cool. And, like, I noticed, like, I was super slow to move and I was super slow to do everything.

And so I'd watch streams. And that's, like, one of the number one ways you can really get better. Because even though it's time-consuming to watch somebody else you can flick around you can find the best guy or whoever you think is the best player and watch him and then see okay well what does he do and how do you how do you apply it I think that's why it's really big too because it's kind of difficult the game you're absolutely right like the game is hard to play one of the big things that's weird about this game that I'd never experienced

before is that the gunplay that takes place when I'm in a house and you're outside a house or vice versa, like the shooting through windows back and forth is very difficult because we're used to call of duty where the guns are coming out of the top of your head. Right. So you can, you can peek over something and the, and you're, you know,

if you look at the character, his rifle is just stuck into a concrete wall, and his head is barely peeking over it, but when he shoots, the bullets come out of the top of his head at whatever he's shooting at. In this game, the bullets come out of the muzzle of your fucking gun. That's where they spawn from. And that the muzzle's angle, and it changes from weapon to weapon. They're about to put a bullpup in the game. The muzzle's angle changes from weapon to weapon. They're about to put a bullpup in the game. The muzzle's way back fucking here now.

It's going to be weird. I don't know what that's going to be like. But what you end up with in the game is these situations where you're like, oh, yeah, he's right there. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. And you just spray the window in front of you or the wall in front of you. And there's no bullet penetration. So if you hit some twig some some like part of the window the

bullets don't fucking work but watching a streamer like grims or somebody you definitely pick some shit out this is amazing yeah he is he's like really good at every game so yeah i haven't kept up with nadeshot but i imagine you have if not just through the grapevine is he still yeah a little bit is he um what's he doing now i think both a little bit of both i don't know personally like what what's going on with like his content i know he's he's really taken a liking to vlogging and he seems pretty good at it when he does it but he seems kind of inconsistent but that can just come with the territory some days like like i personally i tried the vlog thing a little bit and it's fun like if you're doing something exciting and you're vlogging it It's really cool, but some days. It's like you just don't feel like

You know leveling up. Yeah, like having a camera follow you yeah It's like you don't want to have to like fake it and be like hey guys So excited this morning going to target like that. Yeah, it's really tough. It's like okay I'm gonna make scrambled eggs in like live streams So what do you want to see but there are certain times times where if you're traveling or you're doing something cool, show that. So I noticed he streams both on YouTube and Twitch, which I find really interesting. He does seemingly Twitch. Yeah, well, no. I don't know if he does them at the exact same time,

but I've noticed he'll do streams of H1 on YouTube because that does really well. But then if he's playing a GB tournament, he like H1 on YouTube because that does really well but then like if he's playing a GB tournament he'll do that on Twitch because that does really well but I found it's it's kind of hard to split things apart and actually I tried to do this for a really long time and I think like like uh Advanced Warfare and Black Ops 3 were when I had like my best years I mean obviously I grew really fast like kind of around the same time you did because that's when i got an optic so that's when like the call of duty boom basically happened but even still like aw and black ops 3 my channels were doing really well and i noticed that even though it was really difficult to stream and make good content for youtube like if they both

did well at the same time like they were both crushing it and so it's hard to kind of go back and forth and pick one and don't pick one how's cod competitive i don't think so in my like whatever circle of world that i see through my eyes cod competitive is like gone but i'm gone from cod so like of course it's going to seem that way is cod competitive still like a thing is it growing shrinking is i think it's growing from the perspective of someone who's like deep within the community and paying attention to everything. The prize pools for the tournaments are bigger than they've ever been. And the type of like recognition, I guess, that they're getting is amazing.

COD Champs now happens in August and is like the final tournament. Instead of, remember when it would happen in like April? I never understood that because it was like, okay, this is happening in the middle of the year and it should feel like the final tournament. Instead of, remember when it would happen in like April? I never understood that because it was like, okay, this is happening in the middle of the year and it should feel like the Super Bowl. Why does it feel like the Super Bowl? So now they kind of changed it. They changed it to Cod XP and they put it later in the year.

But the tournaments now have more, seemingly more spectators at the actual event. And, you know, the viewership numbers is a little weird because MLGg which is owned by activision now they're running the show and they like to put it on like their website right like it's makes sense like it's their content they want it pushed on their platform that they've spent money building um and then you know the the sponsors and the ad revenue from that people up right like? No, yeah.

Like, Twitch is really good for, like, oh, wow, why does Infinite Warfare have this many viewers? Let's go check it out. Whatever, put this on. Oh, I know that guy. Yeah, we'll put this on. You know, that's how you grow. And so when they're stuck to MLG, I notice that that is, it can be a bad thing. What they've done recently for for competitive cod is they've put

the beginning of the tournament on twitch and then the final days on mlg but i believe on this last tournament it actually just happened mlg anaheim this past weekend so it's a full mlg event it was on twitch all weekend as far as i could tell so and it was on it was also on mlg so i think that's good choices and options are always good, but I'm not on the back end. I'm just the person who's in the org, you know? Trying to grow an eSport on MLG.com. It's like trying to grow it on Vimeo or something.

Like, that's the also-ran site. Yeah. I'm going to go post my comedy videos on eBombs World and wait for the checks to start Oh man The career's starting I mean it kind of made sense because like MLG was the mecca of competitive COD and like game battles is integrated into the site And now I don't know if you heard about this Woody it's kind of like I guess a beta form of it

I'm not sure if they're calling it that it just seems really new but they've actually put game battles into infinite warfare so it's in the game so if you go on the site you get a match boom there's no more like okay invite this guy oh the invite won't work invite this guy and then someone gets the rules wrong like everything is made for you in the game and yeah although no i don't like that i I love it. I love it. You love when they mess up the rules? Yes, because we knew how to get the fucking rules right. It wasn't that hard. So like, you know, it's like, oh, I noticed, sir, that you have the timer setting correctly.

And we play it out, too. You play it out. We play it out and lose to him on purpose. And we were like, and they cheer. And you submit the proof. Sorry, but your timer wasn't set correctly. out we play it out and lose to him on purpose and we were like and they cheer and be like can you submit the proof sorry but notice your timer wasn't set correctly proof submitted like a it was always so much fun i looked like i i we loved trolling people in game battles my favorite thing was playing 2v2 team deathmatch in in uh call of duty world at war and all of the those enormous maps that you remember were in 2dm so we would get two three kills and then lie in the grass out in an enormous

field and see some shit you could hear them bitching and moaning about it and they'd call us trash and garbage in the lobby and it was just great loved it well nowadays in the in the new the new school, which I actually, I don't know, it made it easier, but I kind of liked doing it the old way because I could set up the rules on Cod 4 in like a second, right? But now you can literally just save the rule set and every lobby you get in, you just load the rule set. But even still, some people screw that up. And they change. I don't know if we ever screwed up the rules or maybe if we you know what would happen sometimes we'd screw up the rules because we weren't pro like you you know we started in in modern warfare 2 and you know we'd set up the rules and it would take like

two minutes to like get it all right and double check and then we'd screw up but we didn't play like house because like like i'm not a big deal or anything but people would know me from youtube at the time like i'm growing and they'd be like woody woody i'm a big fan man we got to run that back you know like respawn was on or something like that like the respawn timer wasn't there and he was like ah you are the coolest you want to play again you know like they would give us they'd be nice to us because we were we are the we were literally the opposite because see we would post our own matches right you know and we would intentionally make weird rules like like think like like maybe every on yes yes literally like like or or or radar always on like like everything would be standard and then like whatever's down at the bottom three check marks it's like oh yeah and uhider's always on. And as soon

as they don't have it on, the game starts and you're looking at the thing in the top corner and you're like, ah, game over, we win. That's it. Alright, back out everybody. I think that was the rule I got wrong for Wings. Remember the Wings 1v1 with Syndicate? Oh my god, he'd have made it.

There's no way. We were supposed to be playing Halo. I told you. Did you? I could have sworn you said God, Halo. My bad. I guess I am a faggot. You really are a burden.

Exactly. Yeah, I forget. I remember that. I said something like it sucks. It's okay like it's okay wings everybody we've all been there yeah yeah and he's he's like i i think i said it sucks but it's okay we've all been there something very close to that and he's like i don't suck shut up faggot well to be fair what what exactly what happened was he goes and like throws a chunk, and throws his fucking controller. And you go, Wings, where are you?

Because he's not showing up because we're spectating. He's not responding. Wings, where are you? Yeah, he's not responding. He's like, I broke my controller. And you go, ha, ha, ha, ha. I laughed at him. So you laughed at him.

It was a chuckle. I didn't hear it. Was it like a nervous laugh? I don't think I was laughing at his misery. You weren't, but at that moment, he clearly wasn't able to discern any sort of meaning or intent from, or if he did, he took his own meaning and intent from your lighthearted, nervous chuckle, which it clearly was if you go back and watch the video. It's on YouTube.

It's clearly a lighthearted chuckle and everything. And he's, shut up, faggot. And he's like, oh, all right. Dude, I was good that night. I was the best version of me. Like, I was on Team Wings the whole time, you know. And, like, we needed to, like, take the heat off him. So Redneck was like, hey, Woody and I will play a 1v1.

Now, look, I was going to lose to Redneck. That was very clear. One, Redneck, I think, is better than me in general at that game. But two, he was particularly good at, like, what they were doing, a 1v1 on Bog. He and Wings used to do that. Like, knew the spawns or whatever. Yeah. And, like, you know, he had just been practicing that particular kind of match with Wings.

They won 16s on Bog. You know, it's a skill set that particular kind of match with Wings. They won. 16s on Bog. It's, you know, it's a skill set. Yeah. Whereas I was just a general player. I played Domination all the time. And so I was like, all right, I will get my ass kicked on stream in an effort to sort of change the topic. And then Wings asked if we could end the stream because I think people were writing stuff in the chat.

You did the real life version of like, all the cool kids pee in their pants. Yeah, yeah. Standing out there, and you pissed your pants too right next to them. There's really not a better way you could handle that than to be like, oh, yeah, actually, we're going to do 1v1s all around. Kyle, Redneck, go at it.

See, that was funny. I was in Seattle at like a PAX or something or something like that, and it was like me and it was a ton of people like it was most of the the call of duty community i guess that as it was at that time and i just remember white boy being like did you see what happened in the pka and i was like no we have a fucking wings quit and he went crazy and i was like oh my god we got to get back to the hotel and watch this shit it was uh did syndicate win by a lot or was it like he edged him out it was clear that syndicate

was better and like if they played to 50 then it was going to be like 38 syndicate 12 i remember it i remember it like i think they were playing to 15 and at one point syndicate was up like 10 to 8 or something like that so wings and the timer was running down and wings felt like he needed to press the action right like he wasn't gonna overtake him by you know doing what he was doing and then it like stretched to like 12 to 8 and now he's really in a hole and he throws his controller like i feel like if it had switched if somehow it had gone the other way and wingsings were up 10-8, he could have done that conservative you-come-to-me stuff

and made it work. Yeah, he had to change the tide. I don't think he was ever going to beat Tom. Tom's very good. Tom's the world's last Call of Duty player. I'm in North Carolina. Wings is in South Carolina. Tom's in England. And he still won

on my host. All you have to do is go back to watch those... I don't know why Wings didn't respect his zombie skills. Because you go back and watch Tom play zombies, and it's a next level kind of hand-eye coordination and muscle

memory. I'm really good at fucking Call of Duty. I can move my character around i never bump into a goddamn doorway i have sort of a hand-eye coordination for that character but he sort of like his character is like a bruce lee quote he moves like water and fills the vessel and becomes and like like he's he's he's fucking uh training those zombies while like hopping backwards through lava fields while doing some goddamn Easter egg and setting a world record. And that's not an exaggeration.

Literally. He was the world record holder for that thing for a long time. Before zombies, he played COD 4. So COD 4 wasn't his favorite. And the whole thing went down because Wings was very disrespectful to Tom throughout the whole show. Mostly his skills, right? It wasn't like he was disparaging him as a person. Like the zombies player.

Well, even zombies. Wings thought he was better at zombies than Tom. I don't think I've ever watched the whole exchange. I've watched the whole thing at least twice. I remember there was a thing in particular. Tom, I forget the details of it. But I think Tom liked a high sensitivity because he would do a spin and get a field of view.

And Wings was telling him that he was wrong and that's not how you become a good zombies player and you should play the way Wings does. Yeah. But he didn't say it as respectfully as I just did. It was more like with this tone of you're so stupid you don't even know how to play zombies. Number one guy on the wall at some point.

It's much like I treat Sidney Crosby. He's probably, honestly, honestly, I think he was likely, honestly, I think he was likely the world record holder at that moment. Like he was, I

think so. I think that was the call of duty that that he killed it in black ops or whatever um yeah it was just absurd yeah it was just absurd because like and i mean the 1v1 came up because tom like after a lot of sort of abuse absorption he stood up for himself you know and he's like hey like you want play? I'm right here, and then Wings set it up, and if you know Wings' game, now, it's probably evolved since then, but at the time, he was particularly good at that, like, long shot, you know, that, like, getting one pixel across the map in your crosshairs, that was Wings' like forte. He wasn't really good at running around with an SMG, he might be now, but that wasn't his game.

When he did M16 only red dots on Bog, it was like, Kyle, we're going to wrestle in 75 feet of water. Oh, shit! Right? You afraid of my floaties?

He had really stacked the deck in his favor. Well, it was pool noodles at least. So, it was, like, I thought Wings was going to win that. And I don't know if they played 10 times, like, who would have won more. It depends if Wings would have got the lead, because he was really, like, you know, like you said, like, he would have stood his ground. It'd be hard

to wrestle it away from him, right? He'd be camped in a spot and you have to approach him. Remember, he wanted radar always on, right? Like he was mad. No, no, no. He wanted the timer off. He wanted unlimited time for this 1v1 in front of a stream, right? They're like

just guessing. There's 800 people watching this shit go down he's like you know what make this better and more fair mind you if this had no time limit and i could i could hide somewhere and and occasionally shoot tom in the back when he's all frustrated looking for me intermission at eight kills recharge our batteries by then. I played Wings in World at War and he's just very difficult to deal with. He knows every spot

and he blows your fucking helmet off every round. You mean when you 1v1'd him? Yeah. I 1v1'd him in World at War. I've played Wings 1v1 on a couple different maps. World v War, Modern Warfare 2, etc. And he cleans my clock except shipment for whatever reason like i am better than you might guess at 1v1s on shipment i went

a night where i beat like wings i think i beat kyle i know i beat hutch that same night and uh and some other guys too like a trump fee or something like but i'm just like running a train on good players players who are better than me and uh yeah i i i'm not bad at shipment um so i did beat wings and shipment i never did 1v1 stuff like i remember even back in the day kyle being like oh you gotta do cage match you gotta do cage match 1v1s are so much fun like all that i i hated them i've maybe played like five attempts and every single cage match goes the same where i just run around because i like to play a little more aggressively and then some guy sitting in a potted plant shoots me and then i watch the kill

cam and he runs away to a different potted plant or car or something and I'm like, oh, this is, oh, I see, this is a waste of time. This is a complete waste of time. I've got the I've got the spawn points memorized on all of the cage match maps in Call of Duty 4 so it's really not fair at all. As soon as I spawn in, I got a very good

idea of where you also spawned in but of course, I'm not going to rely on that. I'm going to cheat. So I'll never choose my gun before you. You will pick your class before I pick my class. And then I will insta-spectate you. And I'll be like, ah, he has an M40 and he's in this garage. So then I'll pick my class.

And then I'll be like, you know, I'm frozen there as the timer ticks down. But I'm looking, right? My character's like hard fucking scoping that building over there. And as soon as it kicks to zero, he's like, click, throw. Hard scope. Now I have a second spawn point. Now he rage quit. All right.

Did you edit out the cheat as you made videos? No, I always talked about it. I was like, and now let's see what he's got. Oh, he's got an M40. Don't think so. Jug P90. Let's go. That was part of the game. That was definitely part of the tactics of it. I still have the spawn points memorized.

I know where you're going to be. The beginning of the tactic is you wait for your opponent to select their gun first, then you go in and you fucking look at what they got. Yeah, I would say that in the video. Everybody's supposed to- Yeah. You know, at the same time. It's not cheating.

It's a game mechanic. It's there. Either- You and your self-imposed rules. If I choose my weapon first, he will see it. They actually changed that in Modern Warfare Remastered, by the way, too. They still have cage match, but you can't spectate them. Oh, they got rid of that mechanic?

Like, it literally keeps the creative class on the screen but I do remember what Kyle was talking about because I played a lot of cage match too and the worst is when you run into like someone like you. Like you hate playing someone who knows you're not supposed to know what I know.

So nobody spawns in. There's two different kinds of cage matches and both of them were equally fun for me. One is I'm playing against some guy who wanted to get silly and have some fun and doesn't really even know what cage match is about, and I just slaughter him and he quits, and I just keep changing my class to get rid of the timer,

to reset the timer. So sometimes four or five people will join the game, and I'll defeat each of them in succession, getting one, two kills each until I get my ten and win. Then sometimes you run into the hard ass, and maybe you spectate his screen, and you're like, oh, a red tiger M16, huh? This doesn't look good. And then he starts walking, and he's like,

oh, he's got dead silence on. Alright, we're just gonna have to fucking go to pain level. And I can totally sound whore through the dead silence if I turn it all the way up. And so then it's crouch walking. And even crouch walking, every step is like crunch, crunch, crunch, like your own footsteps. And you're like, God, I hope he doesn't shoot me in the back.

My eardrum will explode. Please don't shoot me in the back. My eardrum will explode. That was how I learned shipment sometimes. People didn't know that dead silence wasn't dead silent. It was just much more silent. Yeah, you could hear the grass moving exactly when it worked and and i think if you crouched walk it did get totally silent

so i would crouch silence crouching is silent i think in cod 4 oh i didn't really yeah well i ran dead silence but yeah so i would have that sound advantage and that's how i think i was beating people i beat that was that was the most fun video game I've played in the remastered one. Because I purchased that and I didn't actually... I still haven't installed the one I bought to get remastered. I'm never going to play it. That one's going to Goodwill. But remastered was the most fun I've had on a console game in so long.

It's been, I guess, like six months now since I've played it. Because it kind of fell out of favor. But, man, I would be down to hop back on and play some more of that. I haven't even picked up an Xbox controller. I can't do it anymore. You can't do Cod of War anymore? I did not ever expect to hear that from you.

Dude, I'm so into Battlegrounds. Well, I'm so into Battlegrounds now. That is my jam, man. I really like it. It feels good. There's so much skill involved with the gunfights. There's lean in that game. And that adds a whole new aspect of skill to it. I've got the lean program to my mouse buttons,

so I'm just perfectly dexterous with my character, leaning out and peeking and stuff and switching from third to first person. I'm getting better at this shit, and I haven't peaked yet. I've peaked it. I'm not bragging. What I'm saying is I've peaked at COD 4. There's no point in going back. I'm never going to get better than I have been in the past.

I'm not going to, I'm not saying I've peaked right now, but I have peaked in that before. You're like Arnold right now with his weightlifting. He's still out there and he like does the for show stuff. But you know that in his head, he's like, God damn it. Like, I'm never going to look like that again. Like, I'm like on a i'm on a definitive downward trend like nobody looks at me from behind and goes oh my god arnold schwarzenegger anymore like they just go hey i look a flat top guy i didn't know it was 1986

then the goal is it's not that i've lost a step i don't think though though i hear that that's a thing that like it seems like the pro gamers are like 19 year olds on adderall and and like if you're 25 you just can't cut it anymore you've lost you've lost the fast physical i always thought that like a 25 year old pro yeah they just they they're mental ill like i'm looking for like a depressed like that lifestyle is dreadful on you like if you just sit in the dark and play video games and your sleep schedule goes out of whack and like it's real easy to fall into like an unhappiness set and it seems like a dream life right if you're if you're like going to school and playing video games at night when

your mom lets you and your homework is done playing video games all the time you know around the clock waking up and just that being your job sounds like an absolute dream. But there's something chemical about humans that when you just sit and look at a monitor and stay in the dark, that's like a secret to misery. Ah, you just got to turn your blue light filter on. Oh, yeah, that's what you have to do. They make these video games like almost a science now of like, how can we get people to love this as much as possible? Like how much pleasure secretions can we get going in their brain with strategy and fun and whatnot?

And so if you just sit there playing with something all day, you know, that's, like, specially made to try and keep you playing as long as possible. Like, it's kind of like eating, you know? Like, it's just like if you had a sleeve of Oreos every single day and you just munched on those throughout the day. It's like eventually that's going to catch up to you and you're going to be sleeping badly. You're going to be overweight. You're going to not be happy with where you're at. But the sleep schedule thing for sure. Kyle brought it up earlier that you're back on the right sleep schedule.

I want to ask and be as honest as you can. Have you felt yourself get happier? Did you feel yourself sinking into a funk? Because I know you mentioned your sleep schedule, how horrible it was. So no, the sleep schedule how so horrible it was so no it doesn't the sleep schedule thing doesn't get me depressed because I still sort of live everything's normal it's just the hours around the it's just about where the hands are on the clock when the normal things happen so like I'm still gonna get up and take my shower get dressed

and everything and then go out and do things but i might be waking up at three in the afternoon one day and then eight in the afternoon another day and uh but last night i went to bed at like that's night eight in the afternoon is night time not here not here it's not like it doesn't get dark here until like 9 30 p.m or something crazy like like it's really late yeah so you know what i'm saying but the uh last night i fell asleep at like 9 p.m and i just slept like a rock uh i didn't i at like maybe 3 a.m i woke up and looked at my phone i was like yeah we're gonna make this happen went back to sleep and woke up again like 5 a.m and i was like ah got it like a full farmer's night sleep like now i can begin the day and i got up this morning at 5.30 or something.

I've been up. It's 10.45 now. So I've been up a while. I'm feeling good. Probably going to stay up all night now too. It is time for ads. Audible. This episode of Painkiller Ready is brought to you by Audible.

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That's a Chiz recommendation there. Woody, do you listen to anything when you work out? A podcast. I probably should have said an Audible book. There's a podcast that would be boring to everybody else. It's about paramotors. It's actually kind of boring to me too.

It's really bad. You never want music to like get pumped like like is there like i remember when i when i was a kid i'd listen to eye of the tiger i had like a mixed cd and it's got like eye of the tiger only like fucking twice and it's like getting getting high now another time like the songs from uh i want that i have a music problem so so here's the scoop we pay for amazon prime which comes with music but it comes with like seems like not enough like if i just pick a song and want that, it's like Netflix almost. If you pick your movie and say, I feel like watching this, it's probably not there.

You have to pick a genre and it'll probably have something that fills it. That's how I feel about Amazon music. And I also have YouTube. Now, YouTube has everything, but it's not organized. Like, it doesn't have, like, it says it it says it'll have like oh we watch the videos you like oh my god youtube i i i only liked rebecca black's video because everyone else was disliking it and i was trying to be nice and now we're like eight years later and they're still like perhaps you'd like to hear friday or that comeback song well click you can click the X and you'll never hear from her again. What X? Is this on the iPhone app?

It's on YouTube. If you're using the same account for the app. Yeah, it's the same account. I watch it on the iPhone and there's a playlist that it makes for me based on my history. And there was a time when I was trying to teach myself guitar. I might try again. I don't have an aptitude for it, though. I'm a slow learner. There was a JCW free played music.

He doesn't sing or anything. It's just not what I want to hear. I was amazed by his skill, but I don't really want to hear it. Anyway, YouTube is doing a terrible job with suggestions. Amazon does kind of a lousy job with suggestions. Well, the answer is Audible. Head on over to audible.com slash PKA. Problem solved.

We're going to get Woody signed up tonight. Get him pumped up for his next workout. Excellent. I feel like when I work out, if I want to go super try hard, I'll put on dance music or something with a beat. It helps with cardio. It's a little bit fast-paced. Yeah, I find when I'm trying to go to the gym

consistently like listening to a podcast really it makes the i don't know it just gives you something a lot more to think about when you're working out so i like that it helps me go more often i guess something to look forward to like oh i'm gonna pick up where i left off i've been paramotoring the music and it makes me reckless like I've Noticed a change in my own behavior, and now I have to watch for that let the bodies Yeah, we've all probably driven a little faster because of a hot song but no yeah, how did you want to get in I just met you Jesus what he slow down song but oh no yeah kyle did you want to get in i just met you this is crazy jesus what do you slow down casper mattresses are obsessively engineered american-made mattresses at a shockingly fair price and now you can get 50 toward any mattress purchase by going to casper.com slash pka and

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I just see the top one. The 2017 New Upgrade Suite CZYY DIY They're just trying to hit keywords here. Bud Crossbow Simulation Model Toy, Twig Pig Crossbow Metal Toy Crossbow, Head Crossbow Mini Crossbow, Desktop Generation Boutique. But what about the searchers that put

Crossbow in six times? Covfefe in the title? The Trump misspelling is in there? No way. They did. This one's $60. Handheld, full CNC machining, mini toothpick crossbow with hard anodized aluminum slingshot

model archery, blah, blah, blah, keyword. Yeah, this is... Dude, let me know which one you get. I'll get one too. I understand China being a little bit upset about it because this... If this was available when I was a kid, you know every single kid in your class would have had one you would have been I mean they every kid would have had one of these and an eye patch Dude let's get these let's get these and set up some balloons behind us and

We pop them up your shows and buy my patches with it so that here's what Amazon suggestions will be like people interested in this also but I bet I could take a balloon and fill it up with a flammable gas and then take my little crop toothpick crossbow and take a lighter and heat the tip of the cross of the toothpick up and light it on fire and of course when it shoots it'll blow out but you know how like it'll be red hot it'll be like a flaming brand I like that or I could just put a candle near it that'll do the trick too I like this I have it now we're off the whole path of the I don't know if we could do it in the only gas I've got that'll do it is fucking a

settling your day and in my house house. Propane doesn't work well. I thought that was neat, like seeing that like, oh, China has problems like this too. But like, it wouldn't have gotten to the point where they're like, saying like, you know, I mean, it is China, so probably billions of children have been injured at this

point for it to be an issue. I don't know, this just seems like a little bit of fun. I have one with a little target. 20 bucks? I love it. Ashley linked. I like that they put Kovefe in the title. That's pretty funny to me.

Do you want to buy that one? I want one now. Those fidget spinners are super lame. I don't have one. Won't have one. I saw Baron Trump with one. I thought that was pretty funny. His little fidget spinner there coming out of Air Force One.

As silly as the fidget spinner thing is, if I was... Ashley's got one. There you go. Yeah, I just bought it just because. It's not as cool. I feel like I'd like it a lot more if I was in middle school. But I like it okay. It's really, really cool when you're like 12 or 13

so I guarantee if those were around when I was that age I probably would have bought one just to be like oh it's pretty neat I fidget more with like other stuff on my desk I saw it and I thought it was a grinder I was like what the fuck is this thing an herbal grinder

yeah yeah who the fuck is out there? Where's that one guy on the planet who's like, well, I just wanted to grind some goddamn herbs, and I'm in here with all these potheads. Who really wanted some freshly ground oregano back home for their pasta sauce? Or some poor old woman, like her grandson uses it for his weed, and she's like, oh, my cinnamon grinder, everything tastes skunky. I feel wonderful, though.

I feel like I'm floating. Is this the end? Have you guys seen the video on YouTube where the grandmas smoke weed for the first time? Yeah, I saw that. That was pretty funny. Yeah, I thought that was funny too. Yeah, they enjoyed it. Yeah, I like all those videos.

There's a bunch of videos where like old people try pot for the first time or kids try pot with their parents for the first time. Today, maybe, with Audrey, Audrey Plaza was with these two nuns who are from some sort of church that believes that marijuana oil is like holy oil or something like that. Oh, damn. They can get closer to God by getting stoned as fuck. I'm pretty sure that was the deal. I watched a gif of all this. But she's basically sitting there between these two nuns, and they're really nunned out. They got some white robes and just

necklaces and rosaries and beads and shit, and they are fucking burning some blunts down. They're getting wasted. There's so much. Each nun has her own fucking piece. They are killing it, and Audrey's smoking one too. She's got the cross blunt or whatever from Pineapple Express.

Yeah, that was fucking hilarious i liked uh i like all those we channels on youtube we talked we had that josh guy on the show who just basically has a channel where he reviews different strains of weed and different pieces and stuff um he was interesting because like the idea of that corner of youtube was kind of interesting to me like there's all these little genres and communities on youtube and here's this new one emerging with the legalization of pot and in a few states where like these guys have sponsors now you know like like and i was telling him i was like dude get your own strain of weed that's the ticket man you need to be smoking fucking like Josh OG on your show and be like, ah, Josh OG is the strain to buy. Fuck this skunk weed that Snoop's selling.

Like you need to be pushing your own shit out to this audience you've got. And then, you know, make sure it's good shit. Don't push crap. But like that's the ticket. Or do what the nuns did. Start a religion. Oh, man. And make weed part of it.

And then be like, well, no no we don't just smoke any of the herb because much of the herb is of the earth and we smoke that which is of it in heaven or whatever the fuck they would say and then like you just have the the nunnery uh grow up and they're making tons of money selling the approved because people will buy it it basically be like a mormon like them being like you're not allowed to drink in the mormon church unless you buy joseph smith's old time cider now if you buy this you can drink when you're in the church and you have to buy it from us it's quite the markup it's for your own good we want to make sure you're responsible you know we it's two percent alcohol you know or whatever

the fuck they would say like that four gallons of it i think that is funny like that you watch like that nun video and i'm sure people's responses was like oh that's like so dope and cool like fusing religion and weed like that and i guess in some ways it might be but it's like if they were sitting there like getting hammered like we're just regular christians who like who you get whiskey makes me closer to god you can't tell me any other way. I know myself. And he'd be watching like, oh, this is sad. This is awful.

Jesus turned the wine in the water and just, you know, glug, glug, glug. They're not really selling it there, Sister Teresa. And I can see your panties. You're very low energy if you're gonna sell any of this you know they showed those two old aged uh nuns smoking the weed but i gotta believe there's some

kind of like snoop dogg character in the background like really raking in those donations or something and and and just laughing his way all the way to the weed bank they were like the two they were like the two nuns that you see or as like the characters in the music video were like the two nuns that you see as the characters in the music video. Where at first, they're not having it. They're not happy with what's going on around them. Where they're like, oh my god, all these rock and rollers in my church? Or whatever. And then by halfway through the video, they're like, alright, I'll take a hit.

And then they start dancing with Dave Matthews Band or whoever's in's in their church but anyway that's what it makes me think of you missed it what do we were talking about nuns smoking weed my skin hurts i can feel my bones i was sweating 30 minutes ago and i'm freezing cold right now oh you can a fever. The way you articulated that, you know when someone describes something in a way that's uncommon but it makes you immediately understand what they're saying? Yeah. My bones hurt when I had mono. I know exactly

what you're talking about. Your shins? My flesh doesn't hurt. Your shins hurt? I feel weak and sore and if someone hit me with a broom handle, you get a shatter or something. I went downstairs to take a Motrin. I feel like Vertigo would be an exaggeration.

Even Dizzy, I was just temporarily Dizzy confused. There were two steps that I lost there. That's no good. Are you hydrated? How deep are we into the show? 343. Okay, just checking for your... 17 more minutes.

You got it! I'm a professional. Think about fire. I'm a professional sweater and bone... Oh, my bones. It's like the most pathetic... I'm in woeful pain and nothing helps. Because if your skin hurts, you can get some something on there.

But like, oh, my bones. It's an old woman. Is it just like a flu cold thing? My son got it. My son got it. Oh, yeah. Brought it home. Yeah, parkour disease.

I think that's exactly right, actually. I bet they're all over the same equipment with other kids and everything so much. It's like a wrestling gym, so they just bring germs home. Yeah. Of course, probably Colin has been somewhat vaccinated by hanging over that equipment all the time. Meanwhile, my immune system is a delicate little cotton ball. I'm not ready for the rigors of the parkour world. not ready for the the rigors of the parkour world that's a real thing that's happening now with uh kids that they don't go out and play enough and like eat dirt and so they they're just not

developing immune systems to the same level i saw something uh online they literally sell dirt pills that you can give kids where they will take dirt and it will basically be like well we over to you're too busy with your ipad to go play catch you know or go play in the woods so take this dirt pill and it'll kind of give you an artificial immune system of by introducing their kids dirt it's there's a small group of people there's a small group of people out there feeding their children dirt and among that sub community there's an even small group of people out there feeding their children dirt, and among that sub-community, there's an even smaller group of absolute fucking morons who buy that dirt. You thinking about this for a second? Because it's not clean dirt.

The whole point is it's dirty dirt. My entrepreneurial spider senses are kicking. I'm like, I got a lot of dirt out here. I got so much fucking dirt. I must have a trillion. I don't even know how many pills I have. I'm like a kid estimating a trillion pills i don't know it seems like a lot of pills in this yard all of the pills like as many as i think i could be like an intergalactic

dirt supplier with the amount of dirt it doesn't take much to put in a pill no no i watched nacho fill up that whole bottle now that'm Googling it, I don't know if it was true. Yes, it had a ring of right-wing news. What the fuck? I think it's the kind of thing that Alex Jones... Did Rush Limbaugh tell you about this? Yeah, did Alex Jones fill you in on this? They're feeding the children dirt pills,

and then they're turning them into faggots, just like the frogs. Just like the frog toothpaste. They've got the motion. They've got the motion. They've got the taste. They make the toothpaste taste like semen now. They want you to think that this dirt is coming from some sort of special

area of dirt. This is not the dirt you think you're paying for. I can tell you that right now. If you want an actual dirt pill, it'll help you and your family out. You need to go to Infowars.com slash dirt pills for your kids. Get those. It's the finest dirt in my Texas home.

Or whatever the fuck he says. He's killing it right now, that guy. Months ago, I remember hearing on the radio, they were like, yeah, Alex Jones has 14.5 million listeners. I was like, oh, God. 14.5 million listeners. And I was like, oh, God. 14.5 million listeners? That's insane. That's how many downloads he's getting per month or what?

No, downloads per month is like 80 million. Oh, it's terrifying. Total listeners, that's insane. That's one of the biggest radio shows in the country. If he has 15 million listeners, 14 million listeners. That's the point. I mean, there's no way they're listening like ironically right to just be like well how crazy is this guy making 15 million a year let's find out what his thing is get that he's widely

successful i actually watched him on the joe rogan podcast just just because like i don't know i don't really agree with literally anything he says but i like to hear from the other side of like you know i try to think about what other people think about so i'm like what's this guy got and they got him high and drunk and he was just off the chain but not as off the chain as i thought he'd be but i looked up his views so the 80 million it was actually 83 million the number right, but it was right around the election. And now his views have dropped to about 27 and a half million per month. That's May.

Loser. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, he makes so much money. He's making millions and millions of dollars a month, and not the least of which is all of the scams that he's a part of or

sponsored by you ever see his weight loss thing buddy where he just gets more red did you see his before and after he's got a before and after virtually identical wings wings did that before and after postcard wings did that before and after weight loss postcard where he's like the same guy just in one of these frowning and one of's smiling alex jones did one where he just gets redder like he's halfway between turning into red hulk or something like that and but to be fair to alex jones he has a thick stout body that i would not describe as flabby chubby or chunky at all like those are not the words that come to me. I think of stout. No, George was more portly than stout.

I'm going to find George in his underwear. Oh, you're stocky, George. So find a picture of George in his underwear posing for Kramer while he does those pictures, and then find Alex Jones' before and after. He's not only stocky, he's portly. That man has to pull his underwear up quite high. If Alex Jones

just posted that picture again and said this is me one week before I went to my vacation home in Cabo and this is me right when I got back. You'd be like, oh, that checks out. Do you not make sunscreen without fluoride in it or something? That's exactly what it looks like.

It looks like it sunburned. I might have hit an extra button in there. He's not perfect. He's George Cost george costanza oh come on that's a good pose on george he's leaning back that's not fair if i lean back i think this is the shot you're going for oh you can't see what i'm doing but um here in a second i think this is specifically the shot you wanted. This is his belly hanging out. Yeah, that's the shot. He looks great.

I saw that, and I thought he looked way better with his clothes off. My imagination of him was not great. This is early. I agree with you. He looks good in these pictures, I think. He looks better than what I thought George Costanza looked like. I think Alex Jones still looks better.

His chest looks strong. His arms look strong. He has a lot of gravitas, Alex Jones. He just really projects authority. He's got a thick neck. He's a powerful looking guy. I don't know how big he is. He could be 5'9 or 6'3. It's really hard to tell when you see them on looking guy. I don't know how big he is. He could be 5'9 or 6'3.

It's really hard to tell when you see them on their own. But I don't know. Just one thing. I'm just throwing that out there. One thing that you can't say about Alex Jones is he's like a fat, flabby fuck the same way you could about Rush. You know, Rush is just a... I think Alex Jones has a little bit of what I think I have in that you can put on more body fat than some and still look reasonable. And then once you stop looking reasonable,

you're in a deep hole. And I feel like that's where Alex Jones is. You put 15, even 10 more fat pounds on him and suddenly it's hanging in a very unflattering way. Yeah. You have like a, you have a broader build you have,

or like a broad chest or something you can, there's a bigger buffer zone between starting to get fat and realizing you're fat. Because if you have a build where you get fat, like if you're really thin and you notice your belly and shit, some people just get fat differently. You almost notice immediately, like, oh, I'm fucking getting fat. Yep, I nip that in the bud.

But for people built like Baby Woody, and I'm kind of built like that too, where I sneak up on myself and then I get just furious and ashamed. You're like, oh, 220, what the fuck? Who are you? How many people are in there? But yeah, that's definitely a thing.

I disagree with you in that he's not flabby, Kyle, because he does, I think he's fat. Because I would call George Costanza here kind of flabby. Like, this is flabby, Alex Jones is flabby, Kyle, because he does... I think he's fat. Because I would call George Costanza here kind of flabby. Like, this is flabby. Alex Jones is flabby. I think part of it is, for Costanza, the hair. And I hate throwing stones at guys with bad hairlines, but the truth is, good hair looks better.

You lost a lot of hair, yeah! What is that? Is that your canvas? Yeah, well, I gotta be is that shoe, canvas? Is that canvas? Yeah, well, I got to be going. No, no, George. Yeah, this is a race. If he had like a full head of hair, you know, combed nicely and stuff,

he'd add a point or two on the 1 to 10 scale. He just would. If he shaved it off, he might pull that off too. Yeah, as you say, I mean, he tries to rock it pretty well, but maybe just shaved it off, he might pull that off too. He tries to rock it pretty well, but maybe just shave it off. I don't know. That nail pattern baldness doesn't look good on Minnie. He looks good with a beater.

I'm sorry. I've seen him recently. He plays poker at a high level. Not cash games that I know of, but he plays in the World Series of Poker, like $10,000 buy-ins and stuff. So does Tobey Maguire and a lot of celebrities. You'll see them in there playing those things. He looks good with

the facial hair. I thought he'd age very well. Better than Jerry and Michael Richards. Nobody can beat Elaine, though. Yeah, Elaine looks great. If I ever go bald, I'm going to lean heavily on the beard, because I've seen other bald men, and that seems to be the play.

Because if you are clean-shaven and you're bald, it really does have a Mr. Clean kind of feel to it. You know, where you're just a big, smooth, eight-ball. I like to think Sidney Crosby will go bald, and he's forever fucked because he can't grow a beard at all. That's true. He'll be a mustachioed millionaire. Yeah, no one will have him. With three Stanley Cups. He'll be alone. He can't get girls.

He'll be... That loser. Oh, you're gonna win two Stanley Cups two years in a row? You're gonna be voted most valuable player both times? Ah, fuck yourself! Learn to play, noob. Yeah, learn to play. Man, I got this stuff

Called tiger balm. I love tiger balm So I uh it's basically I was in a CVS And I was looking around for like a muscle kind of pain reliever like a topical thing So I was getting like sharp kind of pains and stuff where it just like, you're just so sore that it hurt. Like it like felt like it's nodding up. And so I'm like, I'm going to go put a bunch of this stuff on,

knock this right out. It's like a little tiny container. They had regular kind. And then they had extra super strength. And I took the extra super strength. And then I put on, I think I really overdid it. Cause this was like right before

i went to bed last night where i'm like it's gonna be so much easier to sleep if like all this pain is gone and so i got quite a bit out and slathered it all over oh my god everywhere and like not a thick layer or anything but enough to be noticeable and then i figured like and like five minutes later i'm like wow what yeah then i sw sloshed my bed. What? Yeah, then I sloshed her bed. It's like a, it's not like liquidy like a lotion at all. It's like a concentrated kind of Vaseline that you put it on. It doesn't stay slick. It, like, absorbs in pretty quick.

And, like, five minutes after I put it on, I'm like, what the fuck did you think you were doing, Taylor? Buying a tiny little container for $12. It has a picture of a tiger on it that says Tiger Balm and in Chinese style. And it's clearly like some ridiculous oriental ancient medicine or something. I have no idea. I was like, you're an idiot. Just go get in bed. So I got in bed and like three minutes

after that, it's like eight minutes after I'd applied this, I was laying there and I'm like, whole upper body's feeling hot. Everything's feeling real, real warm. And so I was like i was like all right it's gonna settle down in a minute it's gonna settle down it did not like i was on i was on the incline i put way too much of this shit on and so i was laying there like it got to the point where it's like god damn it like now i'm keeping myself up because i'm like it's it's oscillating between cool and hot and cool and hot it's like an ancient Chinese icy hot fever and I didn't read the container

until today and I was like well this is a joke this sucks I gotta wash this off I'll take a quick shower and and get this off of me and I got into the shower for a little bit because I got in bad idea. Ha ha ha ha. I know now. I know now it's a bad idea. Because I got in and I started scrubbing. I'm like, ah, it's not so much going away as much as becoming napalm. Like becoming hot gel that I'm rubbing all over my body. And I never take cold showers because it honestly puts me in a bad mood.

It upsets me. It gets my whole kilter off. I hate it. And I turned it to freezing. Turned it to freezing water so that I could get it off more easily. It felt like it was better anyway. But God, that...

Will not purchase again. I'm just going to go with icy hot or something next time. It's amazing if you just... I use it for my wrist or an elbow, but yeah, I would not... a large volume is a bad idea. I like the masterpiece of it. It was enough that my chest hair was in a downward motion.

Oh, no. Oh, yeah. See, that's how much I lubricate in the mornings. When I'm getting my morning lotion routine after the shower, I put on so much lotion that my chest hair is slicked down now. My belly hair, everything. Any chest hair is slicked down now. My belly hair, everything, any hair is now slicked down. I really rub that cocoa butter

in. That's not the selfie look that you want. Oh, no, it is. No, no, I like it. Before I walk out, I'm like, yeah, slick. Oh, yeah, that looks better. It looks lame when it's just this curly patch of hair coming down my chest, but when you slick it down, I feel like that's a superior look.

No, it looks like you're just really, really wet. Sure, yeah, that's okay. It gets much darker, and you're very pale, speaking as me, so it just really pops. Oh, I'm just as pale as you. I've got to be. No, I like it. I like the contrast from the...

I was thinking about dyeing my pubic hair the other day. Because I saw that... I was on some website. And I saw they had this dye specifically... I don't know, something crazy. You know, like green or... Okay. Yeah.

Or like completely... Or like orange or something. You know? Orange or brown. Orange and brown? Cut it like a giraffe. Well, no. I don't shave the top part. I just shave the shaft,

the ball area, and the surrounding circumference. Cut it like an elephant. Right? That's my elephant. No, I take it. You gotta go in like you're burning out. That's good. That's a my elephant. No, I take it. You've got to go in like you're burning out. That's good. That's a good elephant.

I can finally do an accent, and it's elephant. I've tried to do an elephant before, and it comes out like... That's not what an elephant... Yeah, you can just put two eyes on either side, and maybe dye it gray. But not like a human gray, like a dark gray that an elephant would be. Yeah, I think it's pretty cool.

And then I saw there was a, I was like, ah, I bet this is a thing. Dyed pubic hair subreddit. Totally a thing. Bunch of chicks running around with like, I can't show you. Bunch of chicks running around like green bushes and pink pubic hair and all that. It looked pretty fun. Make that happen.

Is it a different type of dye or just normal hair dye that you buy from like... On the bottle it has sort of like a smiling woman and sort of the silhouette of her crotch, if that makes sense. Sort of a like, you know, very suggestive

sort of silhouette on the box that has a purple vagina. So it's definitely pubic hair dye. Yeah, you won't get confused. No. I actually use, for my pubic hair, I use a Just For Men touch of gray. So that when a woman's blowing me, she's like, oh, what a cultured older man. How distinguished.

I can't find it on reddit is it really this is a very died um the reddit search engine is useless oh it's horrible it's a complete waste of time yeah yeah that's the subreddit died pubes d-y-e-d-p-u-b-e-s um so kyle you're gonna do, you're going to do this? You're going to pull the trigger on this, you think? Yeah, maybe so. Why not? Get some girls to do the same thing.

Maybe we could all match. That'd be cool. Red, white, and blue. Oh, okay. I'm on board. Alright. Patriotic. It's not so much streaking as it is free speech. He did both his beard and his pubes in green. He's the same guy.

I would imagine. Yeah, I noticed that guy. I didn't click on that link. He was the only man. So every image opened if you click view images. Literally the only man in the entire archived history of that subreddit you mean you're not gonna join it what the heck nah nah just a lurker casual

yeah yeah i'm just a creep kyle there are at least two guys in this subreddit ah well i at least two see you weren't looking hard enough. Actually, at least four. They're racking up. Oh, yeah. I'm sure the further you go down, the more male genitals there are, as there are in most areas. Yeah. Like I always do with a new subreddit,

I top all that thing. So I search the top posts from all time. I think someone explained doing that as that part from Rick and Morty where it's like, show me what you got! Totally that for each and every subreddit. And that's one of the most beautiful and wonderful things about Reddit

is that like all of a sudden you discover, let's see, let's go through my, this isn't like a list that I've made or anything. It's just like visited subreddits and they're just kind of saved here you know for the first time you stumble upon hold the moan i love hold the moan that's all good chicks like like masturbating and or fucking outdoors or in public slash inappropriate scenarios and they have to be like on the slide. Like hold the phone while she's getting off. Great sub Reddit.

Freebies is a sub Reddit of nothing but free samples of shit. I'm a big fan of that. The frugal sub Reddit. That's nice. I like to go in there. I took her to I did your thing where you show like the top ones of all time and I showed her mildly, and she couldn't get enough.

Just one Mildly Interesting thing after another. We looked at hundreds of Mildly Interesting things, and she just loved it. Loved it. Girls in yoga pants. I think the porn is usually toward the bottom, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. think the porn is usually toward the bottom isn't it yeah yeah like huge toys anal toys landing strip blacked uh stretched some crazy stuff in here uh sex workers hookers stretched the way you said that i don't know what it is but it makes me like picture a traffic cone

involved too busty to hide now the whole premise the whole premise of too busty to hide no the whole premise of too busty to hide is that these chicks are not dressing at all in an inappropriate way as a matter of fact usually they're dressing very conservatively but their titties are so big that this Italian politician, for example, there's just no way around the fact that she's

just got real big boobies. I don't see a valiant attempt to hide, in fairness. Well, I mean, it's too busty to hide and she knows it. What's she going to do, in fairness. Well, I mean, it's too busty, too hide, and she knows it. Like, what's she gonna do, wear a burka? Like, I mean, this chick. Do you think that there are many tops that don't

display the fact that this chick has double G boobs? The number two, the word busty, then the number two again, then the word hide. They get sneaky sometimes. Then the number two again. Then the word hide.

They get sneaky sometimes. You've always got new ones. Reddit's got so much fucked up shit. Learn used as talents. That's a good sub. Pussy pass denied. Also good. Rare puppers.

Love that. Man, let's see. I feel like if I look at two busts... Rare puppers? I meant to say pussy pass denied too much it has like a like a negative effect on me you know and it can it's because the posts there are on both sides of of the line like some of these guys are clearly misogynistic women hating assholes and some of these guys are men who really want equality,

and they're a bit fed up with some inequality that they've been experiencing in the real world themselves. And by putting them together, it kind of normalizes the first group a little bit. Yeah. You know? Unfortunately. Yeah, and it's no good.

I've never really looked through those. I've only seen the ones that have got really popular. But it always seemed to me like a justice porn one. Look at this woman stretching out his shirt, and then he clocks her and knocks her out.

And it's like, yeah, take that shirt stretcher. Like that, you big-headed whore! Pow! Right in the kisser! Yeah, and you're just like, whoa, whoa. It was cashmere. So, yeah, that pussy past an eye can be a slippery slope.

It's not all wings. Slut wife. Come from anal. I don't even know what that one is. A bad dragon. Bad dragon. That's a... They should be a show sponsor.

Oh, man. I saw that someone told me the Autoblow guy gave away 10 Autoblows the other day to our fans. Nice. Cameltoe. Big fan of Cameltoe. High mileage holes.

High mileage holes. I've actually heard of that one i don't i like there's not a lot of explanation needed for that i think i got yeah i just got the picture in my head and i'm like well x-ray that's another one x-ray is where they take celeb and any kind of photos and they apply the x-ray x-ray technique with photoshop and you basically in certain cases you reveal that you know a lot of nudity from a formerly see-through only but is it is it a real nudity or is it some guy like working at his computer making a fake naked person it's not it's not fabrication it's more like revealing what's there it's it's like like if you're wearing like a white t-shirt and it's really see-through.

It's like if you put a different filter on it, you remove all the white and you're just left with the skin tone that was shining through the white. You're not creating a fabrication. You're just revealing what's actually there. In a lot of cases, it's pornographic. These celebrities are going to have to start wearing polarized shirts. No, they want this. They wear these shirts on purpose. They do that on purpose.

Fisting is a good one. Totally. I'm sure that's calculated. They're like, oh, yeah, I'm going to wear this shirt tonight to see my nipples. Nobody wears see-through fucking mesh and transparent mesh when they're about to go in front of a like 30 photographers at night my wife told me this like you know sometimes you get like down blouse shots she's like as a woman you are like acutely aware of that like vulnerability what you're wearing and you know if there's like a little slip or whatever

maybe you're standing and she's sitting and things happen. But like some of the downblow shots that you see on celebrities, she's like that. There's no way she was leaning over. So people got a good view. I think that a lot of times, like if you see like just names like, oh, Kate Middleton and her. Well, that's a bad one because she doesn't do this. But like if you see like Jennifer Lopez and her children at the park playing and they got these pictures like jennifer lopez and her kids like in this idyllic park and they're all dressed nice it's because jennifer lopez fucking call her had her publicist

call them and be like jayla's going to the park to play with her kids they'll be there for um don't make her look good you know like it's a complete setup in the same way that like a lot of these like ladies who are um you know pop stars or whatever it's a total i i didn't mean that like i was wanting to call them a whore or anything i was just kind of thinking no i think there was actually an audio delay and on my side it was a real bill burr like ladies made me laugh these ladies um are you know they i'm sure they have these coordinated moments with publicists or representation and they're like yeah yeah this is a good time for like the world to see your titty right now cameron diaz all of a sudden her topless uh artsy photos of her from when she's 22

get released when she's 38 years old and her career's on the down all of a sudden it's like oh yeah have you seen cam Cameron Diaz's tits? She's in that new movie too. She released them. Who was holding on to Cameron Diaz's tits for the last 20 fucking years of her stardom? Some dude in 1997 is like,

it's not time yet! Strike while the iron is cold. Very, very cold. It's either that or the other one i'm going with the first thing like when i see upskirts or like any kind of a thing like like anything other than hacked photos like like some sort of fappening type situation i'm like yeah that was almost certainly planned coordinated and set up a hundred percent like this what there wasn't a moment where they were like britney your pussy's all over the There wasn't a moment where they were like, Brittany, your pussy's all over the internet. There was a moment

where they were like, alright Brittany, we're going to get your pussy all over the internet. People will be forgetting you shaved your head and you married that white rapper in no time. Kevin Fennell. Remember when she shaved her head and married that white rapper? Yeah, she got divorced the next day. K-Fed.

Did I say have kids or did I just make that up? Two or three. I trust you. Huh. Is she married to him now? No. I saw her on stage recently. I saw her on stage recently.

She looks fucking excellent. She's doing like a Vegas thing, I think. Yeah, that's coming to an end. She made a shitload of money on that. That was always her goal. Like when she was, I remember her talking about it. Like when she was big, big, she's like, I want to be Celine Dion. I want to be like a mom that works in Vegas, doesn't have to travel, doesn't do this.

Just like makes bank, doing a Vegas show. That was her aspiration. I wonder if her father is her legal guardian anymore because it was a while where like he had um what do you call it durable power power of attorney over her and uh there was like her father was really having to like he had a lot of control of her life her career what she did um they they it was insinuated on the radio and but who knows that they were like yeah like he has to make sure she's wearing panties. Because unlike most of the situations I described,

when Britney Spears' hoo-ha got shown, it was not in a flattering light, and it was not in a time where she wanted to be showing her vagina. And it wasn't a flattering picture either. We've talked a lot about different kinds of vaginas on this show and our preferences for this kind or that kind. That's not a top-tier vagina that Britney Spears has. Just saying.

I don't line up with you on that. That's beating! I never do. Pussy! I actually think guys are better than girls in certain ways. One of them is the lack of height prejudice. If a girl's 4'11 and hot, guys are

like, hey, she's hot. If a guy's 5'2 and good looking, women are like, eh, I'll roll the dice and see what comes next. Short chicks can have babies. Tall guys can't protect you from lions. Yeah, maybe I'm underestimating that threat.

I'm not sure. They're coming for us. I'm not sure. They can't boost you into the, you know, common forest. But, and then, you know, like, I feel like women talking about penis size, maybe not. But, you know, like, penis size is a big thing, whatever. Maybe it's guys pushing that. But I feel like guys are accepting of all vaginas, and I like that about men. It's because men are the buyers in that market. PK comments are going to back me up for the second or third time in a row they've done it and they all chime in and say i agree with kyle i while i look i really feel like you're like

stepped and forcing their hand at this point pk comments are going to say i agree with kyle one two three you're gonna see it like four hours hundreds of comments that say that side with the ugly pussy eater over there what I'm saying is if there's a big predator looking vagina with enormous outer labia then I don't want any part of that if there are big crazy

butterfly lips that are always hanging out and like panties won't fit correctly don't want any part of that like big lips hanging out and like panties won't fit correctly. Don't want any part of that. Like big lips hanging out, not a part of that. The simp, simp subreddit, that is an example of the perfect vagina. The any subreddit, a sister subreddit to that, same fucking thing. Slightly different kind of vagina architecture. But I will say this.

It's a little gay to be like, oh, that vagina? No thanks. I don't think... Oh, no, no. I won't stick my penis in that. It's not nearly pretty enough. No, there's been... Yeah, absolutely won't. No. Why would I want to stick my dick in an ugly vagina? I don't want to. If there's a big...

I showed you plenty of pictures. But the pictures you showed were bananas. It would be like a woman being like, I don't want to sleep with a guy with a small dick or whatever. And you're like, oh, well, you see? Here's a picture of a guy with an acorn-sized dick. And you're like, oh, that's a good point.

It's like, no, but these were ridiculous vaginas you were linking. Like a bat's hanging out down there. Like if I was at the beach and she was standing and I was in the water and a shark grabbed my leg and tried to pull me into the water I could grab those hanging meat curtains and she could walk me back to shore like that. That's the level of strength here. Have you ever seen

the strong men pull a truck? So it was not at all representative whatsoever of what Kyle was saying. I've never been with the kind of big meaty vaginas, I guess I'll just say. I actually haven't been with that many different women. But I've seen lots of porn, and I'm open to all kinds. Absolutely not.

This first one, you're saying no to? Are you kidding me? I sent you a whole subreddit. I don't know if one in particular... I went to the top of all time. I didn't dig much deeper, but there's a lot of examples of just what I'm not into. A little lip is okay.

A little labia. What I'm talking about is more than .75 inches of it hanging out or something like that. Whatever. Same as my trimmer. If your labia hangs down longer than my ball hair, then it's just not going to fucking work.

Right? It's just the way it is. I don't care if that's gay or if that's hurtful for anyone. It's just the way I feel. And the YouTube comments will back me up because they don't like these. They prefer a pretty vagina as well. I have no opinion, really.

Why do I feel like that's a PC answer? A vagina is a vagina, man. I mean, with any girlfriend I've had, it wasn't a factor. I don't know. It wasn't a deciding factor. It wouldn't be like, it's going down. okay, wait, no, that's a bat, I gotta go, I'm sick, bye.

I'm sick, sick of your nasty vagina. I don't know, maybe I got lucky, I don't know, I got lucky with any girlfriend I had in the past. in the past. It's more of a rare thing, I think, before it's... I think that maybe 10% of vaginas are just unattractive to me, I would say. It's probably 10% or something like that.

So, like, I've seen a few, but by and large, I'm very happy with, you know, whatever's going on down there, but I've definitely seen a few where I'm just like, ah, that's awful. You were just like, hey... Oh, I fucked fucked him i just didn't fuck him a second time like you know i feel like you know it's just good manners to fuck him at least once right well you have to come up with an excuse

right like but for why and if you've if you just looked at the vagina you can't like like be like oh there's your vagina and oh you know I just remembered that I have a meeting. And, oh, man, I can't. I got to go. Yeah. Just got to run. You couldn't. You can't do that.

You just got to fucking tell her she's got a big, scary pussy and she should do something about it. They have vaginoplasty. There's a lot of plastic surgery options. They reshape those things. They have vaginalplasty. There's a lot of plastic surgery options. They reshape those things. Well, you heard it here first that you should get expensive, costly, potentially damaging, reconstructive vaginal surgery to meet Kyle's expectations. And it's not just my expectation. It's not just my expectation. This is a huge thing.

No, it's a huge thing that women suffer from. If you go on the internet and you do a little bit of reading there's entire subreddits where women are like self-conscious about their labia and they have entire posts like i'm really i've always been embarrassed by my labia what do you think of it and then there's whole posts where people are like oh yeah you want to get this surgery from this doctor and like this is the before and after and i've seen the befores and afters and they turned a thing that looked like the predator's vagina into something that would make the front page of reddit if i had a vagina like

that i would get that surgery the same the same way if i were uncircumcised and i had one of those gross uncircumcised cocks with like this long like ant eater thing on the end that hangs down like that like a turtleneck that hangs down like an inch below the tip of my penis and is all wrinkled at the end like a wizard sleeve like if i had that all right adult circumcision time same same thing would happen if i had a large labia and i was a lady or if i had a skin tag or an unsightly mole or any of those. A third nipple. You get them fucking cut off. You got 11 toes? Fucking snip snip. Let's make this right.

Now that you've compared it to gross deformities, I gotta say I'm on board. Yeah. You got like a hook hand. You got a guppy leg. Cut it off. Kyle's the guy at the grocery store at Walmart. people are walking by

and he's like get braces idiot like your teeth suck like fix your fucking hump nose you might be good looking if you fix that nose you know I can tell you got a nice bulge there for a lady you ever take it down to Sniptown get that ticket that's what the games are not

you miss alright I have a post roll here if These little games are not for you, miss. Alright, I have a post roll here. If you want to call that a good time. I need to... I want to make sure that I do this correctly. Chiz always has this... I think it's Carvana, though. I'll know in just a moment.

Yeah, it is Carvana. Let me pull that up. Looking to unsuck the experience of going to the dealership? Looking to unsuck the experience of going to the dealership? Then Carvana can help. With Carvana, you can browse, buy, trade, trade in, and finance your next vehicle online from the comfort of your home. Choose as soon as next day delivery or pick up your vehicle from the world's first coin-operated car vending machine. And wave bye-bye to buyer's remorse with their seven-day money-back guarantee. Go to Carvana.com slash painkiller for the new way to buy a car.

Check them out. If only I knew how to spell painkiller. Yes, if only you could spell painkiller you could get these incredible savings Ashley where can everybody find you P-A-Y-N I'm on YouTube youtube.com slash midnight

twitch.tv slash optic midnight Twitter's the same thing been streaming a lot come hang out awesome yeah thank you for having me again a quad feed of PKA over the years you can find me at big pussy lips.net that's where kyle's hanging out in the message boards or whatever i'm the mod