Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #341

Episode Date: July 7, 2017

This week on PKA, the guys discuss Rick & Morty Season 3 being announced, then debate the historical accuracies of Call of Duty: WWII, and the guys play a hypothetical "what would you do if you were a dictator"

and we're live painkiller already episode 341 that took exceptionally long didn't it did i not press this button like probably not a good time i don't know you didn't you didn't announce when you press the button like you usually do yeah you usually you always say it as though this is me and kyle's first time on the show and you'll be like, you're ready to go? And then you'll hit it and you'll go, I hit the button. And yet it has to start recording. And it started. It started. And it's always like, yeah, I know. I get it.

I just wait till you say something and then I know we're going. Cal, do we have any sponsor words to kick off with or what? For sponsors tonight, we have Squarespace, Dollar Shave Club, NatureBox, and HelloFresh.com. We'll hear more from each of those later on in the show. Of course, there are links down in the description below. But yeah, this is a very private, personal PK. No guests this week. So where do we want to lead this?

So we usually don't know if we have a guest or not until like 30 minutes before the show. It keeps us in suspense the whole time. I was all day kind of hoping for a no-guest show. I was just like, you know, I don't want some outsider intruding on my me time. And sometimes I don't think that. Sometimes I really hope for like a kick-ass guest. It was because the guest was going to be black.

That's all it was. Well, the guest is black. He's a black box in particular. They're all the same to you, right? Racist. But I was just hoping that, I don't know, I wanted me time. And sometimes the shows are more fun when there's no guest. I like that too because sometimes I'll pull up an article or something and I'll be like,

this thing about a farmer who got caught molesting his farmer rival's pigs might not be appropriate for someone who Twitch streams RTS games. Don't you hate that? I don't really go on Twitch ever. My couple ventures there, I've been trying to watch RTS people, and I can never make it more than 12 minutes into this shit. It's unfathomably boring. I don never make it more than like 12 minutes into this shit. It is, it's unfathomably boring. I don't understand it. Maybe I'm picking bad streamers. Maybe all the good streamers are on games that I,

because I know, what is that, League of Legends? That's really big. I don't play that, so I don't go on that. But, man, like, I don't want, I don't like when people are in too good of a mood, you know? Like, if they're playing a video game and they've got their orc horde, whatever when people are in too good of a mood you know like if they're playing like when you're when they're playing a video game and like they've got like their orc horde whatever the fuck moving

forward and some enemy you know gondorian archer troop destroys them i want to see a little bit like fuck man god damn it now i gotta get back here make this again god fuck this happens every time josh and you hear josh like talking shit you don't want it to be like oh well struck josh well struck we have a lot of fun here on our streams two dollar donations and i give you an extra big smile that's what we do around here but it's like oh jesus like i don't know that's what it struck me as now i like to be competitive for sure like i wouldn't like that if it was all gee golly whoops we didn't make it um but but the games i watch are like like i like battlegrounds so i watch battlegrounds i watch that grims guy play who seems to be the best of the streamers he's

always like leading and get the most viewers and such it's it's so much fun to watch someone who's who's that much better than you play because they just kind of have a mastery he's walking around just swatting people aside like uh like a boss character it's i I really dig those Twitch streams. I can get that, but I liked that when Grizz was making montages in 2008, 2009. You could just watch that for four minutes, get really pumped up, let the bodies hit the floor. Yeah, Grizz, let them hit the floor.

Take that guy down with your strafing no-scope technique, you fucking liar. I cannot tell you how many times I was sitting there on COD 4. It must have been 2008 Because he was like alright Now this is the trick A lot of people making videos out there

Saying that there's a trick And this is the G shot Watch this See those two both missed Not because I didn't scope in And I fired wildly across the map That's not why they missed They missed because I didn't do the G shot Now wildly across the map. That's not why they missed. They missed because they didn't do the G-shot.

Now watch me go like this. One, two, G-shot. Boom. Dead. I didn't have to do that 600 times on my Dazzle HD. I didn't have to do that. I tried on fucking cage match with friends and like in private matches. Like this doesn't work.

Grizz was big at the very beginning of cod and like the the youtube thing and so monetization was really hard to come by and so he was grasping at whatever he could come up to so with so like for a while he was uploading his montages first on this mapmonkeys.com website and you could like dole out five or ten dollars and you'd get the thing like a week early and i did i did i paid him for five dollars to watch it because because i felt like i man i really like this guy's videos i'll fucking get on the team i'll support i'll support this thing and but there was just no way to do it and so i think the g shot was another example of that if i remember correctly maybe like there was a more in-depth g shot tutorial over on mapmonkeys.com that you could pay a little money for because of course when you went into game and started

strafing around people would just m16 you and you'd be dead. This is called the GF shot, the get fucked shot. You only get access to it if you give me $10 a month. Do you remember the toolbars? I don't even know if the creators got paid for them, but the old school con guys would pimp those goddamn toolbars all the time. I thought about doing it.

And I was like, no, I don't think it's worth the hate. You know, because at the time, selling out was like the worst thing you could possibly do. And I'm like, fuck it. If I was a watcher, a viewer of mine, I wouldn't want a toolbar pushed on me. Yeah, Hutch had a toolbar. We all had toolbars. You had a toolbar? Oh, yeah.

I had thousands and thousands of downloads. Did you get paid? No, no, no, no. Wait, but what was on your toolbar? Hutch, Blade, Seenatters, they all had toolbars. Yeah. And then as soon as Hutch and Seenatters went to Machinima, they went full on commie, right?

And like so much of selling Control Freaks was, you know, they tweet about you and give you shit or whatever. Well, I definitely had toolbar. I definitely never got paid. I had thousands of downloads on that thing. Oh, sure, don't back me up. Yeah, I see what you're saying. You definitely had Toolbar. I definitely never got paid. I had thousands of downloads on that thing. Yeah, I see what you... You know it's true. I'm just not going to wildly throw accusations

and attacks at people. I'm applauding you! You're the one who uses the C word, sir. There was... I lost my train of thought now. Toolbar is probably something about downloads. Yeah, never got paid.

I was trying to figure out when Woody said cunt. He didn't even know. He said commie. No, he said commie. Yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah, they would get really angry if anyone had a profit motive. Uploaded daily, that was a thing.

You know, view whores and scumbags or whatever. I don't know. Do you remember when that was like a huge deal? It must have been like 20. What was the year or time period where like the the comment sections went from like fucking sellout view whore to like they're just trying to make a living man you like like when when did that happen because that's what i see on content creators now for the most part is a couple people going you fucking sold out i can't believe you're selling goddamn you know meal replacement shakes or whatever and it's like uh and everybody else it'll be like 100 thumbs up of like if you going you fucking sold out i can't believe you're selling goddamn you know meal replacement shakes

or whatever and it's like uh and everybody else it'll be like 100 thumbs up of like if you can't handle an advertisement you can fuck right off and like have you noticed that it's definitely it definitely has happened uh i i can't put my finger on when it happened i can remember like people even like on my videos where they be like, you uploaded three zombie videos today. You know, you view whore. And it's like, look at the view totals, idiot. Like, if I'm whoring, I'm a very cheap whore. You are a view crack whore.

Yes. Yeah, I'm the whore. I have a 36 instead of 10. There's, like, the real whores up there, like, the top of Trump Tower being escorts. If anything, I'm the whore on the streets, there's like the real whores up there like the you know top of trump tower being escorts i'm if anything i'm the whore on the streets giving like nickel hand jobs like just just doing my best but yeah that that is interesting how that changed so i think it maybe it changed when like the mainstream media like kind of showed they didn't like the internet as much and like they recognized them as like true competition, you know,

instead of being like a piddling little thing. I don't think so. I think it was the YouTube scene, like attacking itself. Like that, that to me is what it was. Like a lot of times when I was getting fussed at, it was,

you know, I'd look and you could definitely attribute it to like four or five other content creators guiding their people to fuss at me in that direction. Like that, that was my scene. I remember disliking the giveaway thing as it was going on because it was like, well,

this is clearly kind of just manipulative and not really in tune with because, because at the time the giveaway videos, it would be like, no, they're prevalent and they made your channel big, but it was like, they wouldn't be,

it wouldn't be a giveaway at the end of a great video. It would be 90 seconds of, Hey, check, i've got yeah they sent me six xboxes and you can have one guess what like and favorite and comment on this video and maybe you'll get one and then 60 million comments yeah that definitely happened a lot too um i i didn't so so there's tons of giveaways still the and no one cares and the reason no one cares is because they're not on the front page of youtube because there isn't really a front page of youtube anymore and then and so but but when white boy and out and uh and and x jaws and those guys were you know making lots and lots of thousands of dollars just by giving away like a psn $20 card

or an xbox or something like i had no problem with that i was like i remember i was away i was in la or seattle or something like that and i was like give it away psn cards wait till we get back home we'll give away a fucking motorcycle or something this will be great let's just fucking like fuck it like we'll just do what they're doing but like 10 times as big and then like i think like freddie wong made some like tweet or maybe even a video calling out white boy or somebody and i was like ah shit the gig the jig is up freddie wong hutch and cns were doing it particularly hutch on twitter like yeah but i care about them because they were call of duty i don't care what the call i guess yeah but they they they like led a scene around it i don't

know i i defended the giveaways but never because I thought they were a good thing, just because I thought those guys were my friends. Why would Machinima not like the giveaway thing? It seems like they would really like it. Because of other partners complaining. Like, hey, hey, why are you letting them get away with this? They're doing this and that. Or they might have been getting some flack from YouTube itself.

Hmm. Hmm. Indeed. that or they might have been getting some some uh um flack from youtube itself kyle hmm hmm indeed a little or if it's you hmm is that better now do you think that's better now am i less blown out now i think so it was just when you got a little louder and more excited yeah keep tone it down yeah keep it down jittery legs is it because are you wearing a new coat? Are you getting some new power from a new coat? I did get a new jacket. I'm a member of some sort of an elite fucking military force, it seems. I don't know what all these insidious are.

The Native American Indians, perhaps? Yeah, yeah. Is it an arrowhead? No, no. It's like a sword with three lightning bolts on it. It looks like I'm maybe a Star Wars flight captain or something. I like this coat. It's a fine line between super cool emblem and a little nazi-esque yeah right don't you wish that the nazis had like horrible style and they didn't like ruin any like like

if you look at their architecture and shit it's like oh what a cool giant eagle they built up there but now if you look at a giant eagle built anywhere you're like yeah it's a little it's a little nazi-ish you know like if only they had like a shit animal as their uh as their spokesperson not spokesperson mascot whatever eagles that good aren't they i mean i don't know i guess i like eagles but they eat dead stuff too, right? Bald eagles are... They prey on carrion. So I guess you don't prey on it. They just eat dead animals for the most part. Yeah, that seems like vulture.

It's not like the most proud, awesome animal. That's why Ben Franklin wanted our bird. The turkey. He wanted to be the turkey. Yeah, he wanted to be the turkey. Can you imagine how humiliating that would be? Credit where credit is due to the other shit Ben Franklin was doing, you know, giving syphilis to dozens of women.

But, man, imagine how uncomfortable that situation was because they had, like, their founding father's boardroom, and Ben Franklin was, like, the old guy that, you know, it was probably five years after they kind of wanted him to leave, but nobody had the heart to tell old Ben that he couldn't come back, and he was the guy at the table where Washington's like, so it's settled. We're with the eagle now. He's like,

what? The eagle, Mr. Franklin. No, it's the turkey. I can see where we need to... The British know and fear the turkey. It's like, oh, he's lost it. He's lost it. Are you sure? Now, what if America had made turkey our bird?

Turkey would have been elevated to a whole new position, right? If turkey was the American bird, people would fear the turkey. No one would ever fear the turkey. We would be screaming, come on, come on, come on, come on, into battle, right? Our tanks would play the turkey call. Can you just imagine? The fucking enemies on the battlefield. Do you hear?

The goblins are coming. Like the American planes would gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble. As they flew into battle. There'd be no more frightening sound than the turkey gobble, gobble of the American army. The American armed forces gobbling into battle. And that would be like their new word for like making fun of Americans. Like how we had krauts or whatever.

Be like, these imperialist gobblers know not where to stop. They are overreaching each and every day with their long red dangling jeans. I was talking to an army friend you know how in the military at least in my head in the military they always name the enemy right like right now the enemy is typically called a hajji step one yeah you're fighting okay okay i've been like nicknamed the enemy i guess i was going for it and uh i i somehow was talking to him about an imaginary war with China

and I forgot our like enemy name for China. So I said, chink. And all of a sudden, all the army people are like, you can't say that. And I'm like, what? No, is it? I was trying to like fit in.

Like, what is it? He's like, it's Charlie. It's Charlie. Oh, right. Well, Charlie would be Vietnamese. That's even more racist. That's what he said. I don't know. Well, it's Charlie. It's Charlie. Oh, right. Well, Charlie would be Vietnamese. That's even more racist. Yeah, Charlie's Vietnamese. That's what he said.

I don't know. Well, he's wrong. Well, they're all Charlie-ness. What would the army call a Chinese enemy? We don't have any name for the Chinese. Well, that's okay. PKA needs a purpose. I was going to say China man or China men is what they used to say as like a slur, but

that's not good for the military because it's actually longer than just saying Chinese. Yeah. You know, you need a quick one. One China men are coming. Yeah. Oh,

perhaps we'll finish tea before engaging with them. You know, like that level of sophistication. I really think that if we were to get into war with the, with the Chinese, that it might just be the one they go with. Absolutely not. Because there'd be plenty of Chinese Americans fighting against against the the the chinese army and they wouldn't be like yeah let's

get those chinks it'd be like if we declared war on fucking nigeria and we're like yes the nigga arm is no no they're the skinnies just over the ridge there are the skinnies in nigeria that's what i know let's do battle against the niggas like no you don't you don't okay racial slur come on help me out here we need a nickname for these gentlemen all right i'm gonna look up negative slurs for chinese people it's for chinese people or wait maybe it should be like negative military slurs that's almost so specific i don't even know if the internet can help me Or wait, maybe it should be like negative military slurs. That's almost so specific, I don't even know if the internet can help me. Oh, it's just taking me to the main article.

Derogatory terms for Chinese people. You're on the National Socialist White Americans blog.org? No, I'm on Wikipedia. Wicked. You're right. I'm right? Chink is in this list, and so that definitely wouldn't make the cut. Kyle is correct in that regard.

Because all it would take is, like, one video coming out of them saying that about their enemy, and, like, you'd have 6,000 BuzzFeed articles of, like, Who's the real evil person here? You know, the people starving millions of rural Chinese folk? Or the ones saying mean things? Makes you think. There's Chinky and Chonky. I like Chonky. Ching Chong.

None of these are short enough. I think if you said Ching Chong quickly, like imagine it's dark, we're all in our foxholes, wet, and you hear Ching Chong! Ching Chong! Like, that would do the trick, right? Oh, in this one it says, it refers specifically to Chinese nationals and never to overseas Chinese.

Ah Tiong. Ah, we'll say that then. Yes. Oh, Ah Tiong. Ah Tiong. Just rolls off the tongue. You know, this is gonna, hashtag Ah Tiong just rolls off the tongue you know you know this is gonna hashtag ah tiong that's almost as confusing as like the current lgbq t uh qqia like every organization once they get tests like four on their acronym, they need to be like, guys, guys, before we start adding any other letters here, we need to evaluate our marketability. Nobody's going to remember this shit.

Like, how are we going to get a trending hashtag going? It's just seven million people are going to be tweeting the letters in the wrong order and nothing's going to be going. But did they add CIS or straight to that at all? No, no. It seems like if they really want to grow, they should throw that in. Throw a C in there. There might be a C.

Isn't that what cis is? Isn't that how cis is spelled? Throw an A in there for Ah Cheong. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, chinks, and what else? What do you want in there? What do we need in your topic? You're basically describing a hate flag, like your own pride flag,

but it's just like all the places you hate and the people that you hate, where Kyle could put his own green band for Ireland. Hey. I'll have to mull over the country I dislike the most. Probably. I don't know. Probably. My favorite other country is Canada. That takes number two. the country I dislike the most? Probably... I don't know. Probably...

My favorite other country is Canada. That takes number two. Definitely. What are you guys? What's your second favorite country? I like England a lot, right? They seem like nice people. They seem like they've got a very good sense of humor.

Although Canada, because of their close proximity, they really send a lot of their best and brightest our way. Like, a lot of really good singers and artists and comedians and such. Justin Bieber, for example. There are exceptions to every rule. But, you know, yeah, Justin Bieber, for example. He's an amazingly talented human being. He came from Canada, and we imported him over here.

And to our benefit, I'm sure. Rush? Yeah, Rush Limbaugh. There you go. Is Rush Canadian? Rush? Yeah, Rush Limbaugh, there you go. Is Rush Canadian? What? No, the band. Ah! I was like, what the fuck?

How can he be Canadian? All of these goddamn Democrats are trying to take over our country. That would be ridiculous if he found out the whole time he was Canadian. Happened to Ted Cruz? I think they'll find out at the last second. Also a serial killer.

No, not him, his dad. Well, he helped him out for a few, I heard. In uplifting news, I've got it linked here. Did you see that in ISIS suicide bomber, they were at their going away party, like a pre-bombing quinceanera of sorts, and having their food and their drink and their sheet-laden women. Is a quinceanera like a little girl's 15th birthday party if she's Mexican? Is that what that is?

Yes, yes. Okay. That is correct. I'm very cultured, so I know all about these things. That's my culture. That he just spent a lot of time with 15-year-old girls. A lot of 15-year-old Mexican girls. But this guy went to his own going-away party, apparently dudded out in his fucking bomb shit.

It must be like when you graduate high school and you go to the party afterward, or your college, and you've still got your gown and your cap on and everybody's like oh look at you you got it like he was going there like everybody notice anything different today like oh akmed you have finally earned your stripes you know a couple times he like pulled the the like like the switch out and went oh and they like puts the safety back on and tucks it away like fucking with them and then it is a trick switch it is a trick switch! It is a trick switch! It will never have gone off! And then bang!

How many people died? Himself and 12 other comrades. Holy shit! Yeah, so they went on a group hug. Basically. First of all, who wears their bombs to their own party? It seems uncouth. Save the bomb. And second, if you're going to their own party? It seems uncouth. Yeah. Like, save the bomb.

And second, like, if you're going to wear them, like, don't have them hooked up. Like, I don't know. And then also, I was feeling bad for the people there until I realized they showed up for an ISIS suicide bombers going away party. I don't care if all you did was bring the cookie cake. Like, just think about explosives. Like, and I've taken a couple explosive classes now. So you've got that detonator thing that looks like it's about it looks like it's metal and it looks like your pinky and they're always sticking it into like the explosives and stuff like once

whenever we would put one of those in explosives like it was like all right now everybody get away it was like it wasn't the sort of thing that you like put the detonator in and then you like stand around explosives even if they aren't wired up up because there was always this sort of thought that like what if that detonator just decides to go off right now then we all die and then once you had wired the detonator in even before the wires were stuck into anything that was another level of fear and and like all right now we're even more heightened and focused and then when you actually stick those wires into something and like curl down, it's like, all right, we're all hiding at this point.

But it seems like with a suicide vest, you go through all of those steps, then put it on under your coat and go to a party like that. That's what I would do. Well, that's awesome. That's just the best karma ever, right? I like to imagine that they had one of those. Do you ever have a laying of hands?

I'm sure you have, where everybody gets around one person in church, and everyone lays hands on you and prays for you. I like to imagine that they were having that. Oh, no, no laying of hands over there in Missouri. See, we found another little divergence in our religious upbringing. So people would lay their hands on you and pray for you? Not me, particularly, but there would be a part of church where the preacher would be like,

I want everybody out there who's feeling that they don't have the blood in them right now, and they're not right with the Lord. Whatever you've got that's, whether you've got a sickness that's holding you back, a secret in your heart that's keeping you down, whatever. You come up here. And they would come up there, and the preacher would lay his hands on them, and he'd get all fired up saying stuff. He'd be like, come on, everybody.

Come on over here. Let's all lay hands on him and, and, and he'd get all fired up saying stuff. And he'd be like, come on, everybody, come on over here. Let's, let's all lay hands on. And like, like 18 people would all have a hand on you, like praying for that one person. Like, and like, of course it's all mumbo jumbo, but you gotta, if you picture that happening to you, it's a lot of positive vibes, right? Like just flowing into you. Like imagine eight, you know, being completely enveloped and surrounded with people all putting a hand on you and

praying to God that your problems get better out loud. It's a pretty positive experience. Yeah. For an extrovert, maybe. Unless that person then explodes, which is what I like to think happened at this ISIS birthday party. I like to imagine they all put a hand on Ahmed. ISIS are clearly the bad guys.

And that was it. I recognize this isn't much of a revelation. Are they? that isis are clearly the bad guys i recognize this isn't much of a revelation but like are they the sometimes when we go to war i think to myself like all right would it be objective right to step out of your american clothes your american hat to take that off and just look when we invaded iraq what made us the good guys exactly right you know it wasn't that iraq was doing no they weren't really doing much it was because they did kuwait 10 years or no like it it it wasn't that iraq was doing no they weren't really doing much it was because they did kuwait 10 years or no like it it really wasn't really that you know what was the official

reason weapons of mass destruction 9-11 neither of which they had or had anything to do with like what made us the good guys in that they were all saudi yeah right like what made us the good guys they plotted against george They plotted against George Sr. That's as close as I can come up with. Which is a fair point. Having said that, George Sr. killed a lot of Iraqis. So many. So many.

Everyone needs a hobbit. Not nearly as many as Saddam Hussein, to be fair. Even in there, look. Well, he's the record when uh when part of your country tries to rebel and does a civil war and you put them down you know like how is that wildly different than what abraham lincoln did because abraham lincoln didn't gas the south he didn't have gas yeah abraham lincoln He did burn, Sherman did ride through Atlanta and burn it to the ground,

but then there was reconstruction afterwards. They used fire. About as good a weapon as they had. I think the difference in that Civil War is the American one was like, 600,000 people are gonna die to end slavery! You know?

Mostly white guys. And then over there, it wasn't quite the same thing, I don't think. Well, they were trying to leave Iraq. I got a new topic. Okay. You mentioned the white guys in the Civil War. Of course, mostly white guys. There were a lot of African Americans who fought on that war on both sides. Oh, yeah, a lot.

On both sides. But I noticed with the Call of Duty World War II, the newest uh call of duty that's coming out this fall you can be a black nazi woman how do we feel about that i don't think i like it you can be you'll be a black nazi woman where there's black i don't think they're no fine so there were no black nazis there were no black nazis there were female nazis plenty of them of course just not on the front lines but there were no black and realism i feel like if you try to cling to this grasp it so cod was this like war simulator back when halo was fake look cod was never an like an accurate simulation

of war you know i think your character historically it often was an hour. How long does it take to walk a block on Favilla? Yeah, those guys don't fucking fit. Well, there's a difference between historical accuracies and gameplay mechanics, though, right? You don't frame up this whole... D-Day is always there. What historical accuracy is where they're in Cod? Modern Warfare was unspecified a stand?

Cod 4? Well, that's different, historical call that's not a historical call of duty i mean there were there were you know world war ii happened you know whereas you know call of duty modern warfare was just this made up dreamt up like you know i really don't give a shit either way but i think it would be it would be funny if like in the cut scenes as as they're showing the D-Day thing before that part of the campaign, they're like, it was then that the Canadian black female trans lesbian battalion stormed the front, and it's just a bunch of people in fucking pussy hats. I don't really see a problem with it. If you're watching, if you're call of duty and being like oh my god this is how it fucking happened like you got bigger problems like you read a book or something like i just i don't know i disagree i like that about the game i i like that that when you're playing the game you can be like wow this is how it really happened and a lot of times with the d-day invasion in particular but if you've watched you know saving

private ryan you're like whoa shit you're by those big x things that are like see that's a fair example because everybody kind of knows how that goes yeah yeah and it's something that i i like doing in every game that has it for all the way back to call of duty 2 i i don't know i it just seems like they this is a a watered down from a historical standpoint for just to like please a few people that i i can't even imagine who they are because they took the swastikas out too right like the the nazis don't have swastikas oh i don't like that that's like you gotta keep it like that like oh that historical inaccuracy is not cool huh they can no well i'm saying if you want to be in it like what if they got rid of the rising sun for the japanese like oh we can't have that anymore they're just gonna be making shit up

yeah like you gotta done like it's iron crosses now they've all got iron crosses on and they're and they're black i mean i can i can differentiate that i guess i mean if you didn't say anything right there i would play it and i wouldn't fucking notice probably because i'd see the iron cross and i'd be like oh okay nazi but yeah i don't like it personally i feel like you're watering something down that didn't need watering down like like i'm not offended by a swastika i think it was two i was playing and uh you have to like follow the wire and repair it as you work your way from building to building like press x to repair wire and then you detonate it like i i don't know i really don't think that was like a historical accurate scene that happened in world war ii certainly not everything you do

but i bet that like the city you're in the town you're in is a historically accurate town where like the battles took place like if you go to call of duty world at war um a lot of those scenes are like reenacted the whole stalingrad thing and they borrow as much from movies that are based on real things as they do from history because uh the Stalingrad battle and World at War, a lot of that seemed to be borrowed from Enemy at the Gates, which is a badass fucking movie. Yeah, that's a great movie. What's accurate about it, though?

Like, is the map accurate or just the name of the map accurate? Because I suspect it's just the name of the map and there was an actual, like, game designer, map designer who made sure it was balanced on both sides and things like that. No, Woody, there's snow. There are Russians. Gun guns are being fired regularly like yeah i don't know maybe i'm not suggesting that that like every time we play call of duty it needs to be a simulation of a historical reenactment or anything but like we shouldn't have like made up the silliness either because

we we have like something to go from that's amazing like world war ii is such an incredible narrative on its own it's like you don't have to go to fiction you've already got something right there and i think a lot of times they do use that for you know i mean i can't think of good examples because i haven't played those call of duties in years but the the world war ii ones and the vietnam i definitely feel a lot from history like there's like i don't like the some like the kind of needless softening of it the way you said where it's like oh well just in case someone might get offended by this thing that actually happened yeah like 80 70 80 years ago like this this happened there are people alive like they're not going to be alive much longer because it's so fucking long ago but there are people alive who remember this shit but you know

and do you think they if you found someone who actually was in the concentration camp or who fought in world war two or it was a german soldier a japanese soldier and you like sat them down they started playing this game do you think at any point they'd be like a swastika in this game about world war two no like someone in a concentration camp would be like, yeah, yeah, it was real and it was horrible. And you're kind of pretending that it was a little softer than it was.

I don't know. But even then, it's a video game. Yeah, I don't like the needless softening either. I think we're on the same page there. But I also think there's nothing accurate about it to start with. It's just, it's a video game and they slap names on it like stalingrad and tanzania

which i probably pronounced wrong i think it's i think uh i understand both points coming from it but the argument of like oh call it dude he's never been historical is like no shit idiot but like if you suddenly had a brigade of midgets and dwarves like who wielded like side axes in addition to their m40s with the Germans, you'd be like, okay, wait, hold on. Are we in the Middle Earth? Were they conquering Middle Earth or were they conquering Western Europe? You'd be upset by that, but that's the same case.

Clearly the Nazis would have gassed any dwarves that they came upon. Okay, bad example. The American dwarf battalion. Oh, well. They would have used those as tankers. They would not have made it through. We'd want to get those guys in tanks. They might be good us as tankers. Because of their small stature. We'd want to get those guys in tanks. They might be good with G-forces,

right? Remember we covered that, that distance from brain to heart? They could be good fighter pilots. They can't reach the pedals, though. These guys are tankers, for sure. Low to the ground. I like it. They're all like four foot eight. If you were in the military, what would you be? Dead? Why? Why would you be dead? why would you be dead you'd be a combat guy i you know i don't know i don't know what it'd be it's not like you have your your druthers right all the time if you

if you if you do like if you got to just pick if it was that if you got to pick what you did i don't know i don't know if it the special forces guys seem to do all the cool shit right and they get to like wear beards and like like dress how they want and like like paint their guns green if they want to and just do whatever the fuck they want like and of course like like that seems like the coolest job but it also seems like the job that only the elite of the elite could even do and i don't think i'm capable of such i used to think i am i used to think like like so i have a damaged hand it was never in the cards but um i used to be like am. I used to think like, like, so I have a damaged hand. It was never in the cards, but, um,

I used to be like, if I was in there, I'd be a Navy SEAL. That was my positive impression of myself. And I'd look at what they could do in terms of swimming and be like, I would easily rank amongst them. You know, like,

of course there's some great swimmers in there, but by and large, you know, that shit they do about pulling their mask off and people panicking, it's fucking silly stuff. It's no big deal. But the adult version of me is like, really? Because I'm not sure swimming is even the biggest part of being a Navy SEAL.

You know, the water thing is really just an endurance of discomfort. That's how they root out the pussies, apparently. Yeah. Not pussies because... And I haven't shown any superhuman ability to endure discomfort. You know, like sleep deprivation and the go sugar cookie yourself and all that fun stuff. There's no evidence that I'd be a Navy SEAL. I haven't proven that.

Yeah. I don't know. But that does seem like the coolest job. If that were the question, I'd answer it that way. But like, I don't know. But that does seem like the coolest job. If that were the question, I'd answer it that way. But like, I don't know. I can tell just by looking at you. You don't have what it takes to be a Navy SEAL. To hack it in the SEALs.

I drowned twice. Not because I failed the first time, but because I couldn't get enough of it. What is dead may never die. He doesn't wear any underwear. After that minnesota was a cake walk you know oh he's uh he's ridiculous human yeah um so so so more realistically like something that i think i i could do is like like maybe a helicopter pilot or uh or something like that that seems like like like anybody can kind of do that i I don't see those guys as the smartest people in the world or the most coordinated people in the world.

They're good at what they do and everything, but I just don't think it's some unattainable thing. Trying to become a fighter pilot, I feel like, is like trying to be a baseball player. I feel like they rank pretty close to each other. Everybody wants to. We all saw Top Gun. But only a handful of people.

Yeah, only the best of the best can do that shit. My friend is a helicopter pilot. And I've talked to him about it and stuff. And I used to, I sometimes insert myself. Like, how would I do in that position? A military pilot or a regular pilot? And flying the helicopter, I feel like I could get grips on. You know, it's not the easiest thing. But, thing, but I think I could learn to fly a helicopter.

The challenge is there's other aspects of it that I would suck at. Navigation is a huge part of it. Spotting things on the ground, doing recon is a big part of his job. Directing people. I talk to people around the airport and fucking mix up east and west from time to time that doesn't fly when you're doing recon in the army as a helicopter pilot six clicks east no no west west i'm like 80 wait hold on soggy waffles we just burnt them all alive that was that was i'm not sure if it's east-west. It's definitely down from here.

Well, it's below me. I'll tell you that for damn sure. It's right, it's below me. It's like a nine iron straight away to the left. So it's occurred to me, at least the kind of helicopter pilot he did. So with recon, not only do you find bad guys and good guys but you direct good guys you spend a lot of time telling them like oh yeah you know i recommend you approach from the north and then come into the west and hook around and whatever like that kind of is a big part of what the helicopters are doing out there and i think i'd be bad at it

yeah that sounds really fun and there's bunches of helicopters like you just intubated like you know you could you get there's attack helicopters and and uh transport helicopters and i'm sure there's a guy flying a helicopter that just moves around like toilet paper and water pilots they just move shit all the time yeah i'd hate that that'd be the worst they like it like it's uh-uh no i want to i want i want the job where you fucking blow shit up and kill that right like you want that you want that fucking you want to be an apache like with that fucking that that uh that heads up display where you like you look and the fucking gun is outside like some robocop shit and you've got that 30 millimeter cannon that you can and that you like you're like we're waiting on the bullets to get there we'll see what happens and then you just see him that's all all dream shit though. Like that happens once a lifetime.

The reality of being an Apache helicopter pilot, like the only thing they're good for is war. So they don't even fly in most of the time. You make a terrible sit around doing fucking nothing all the time. The Apache helicopter itself flies itself. Like apparently there's less rudder work and it auto stabilize. You know how hard it is just to hover helicopter. Apparently we could all hop in a patches cause they auto-hover like a fucking drone.

If you can fly a Phantom, you can do that. And you leave with very little airtime and less marketable job skills. Like Apache, the people who are at the head of their flight class typically don't choose Apaches. But they do choose things like Chinooks because those guys fly constantly. There's always a mission having to do with moving some Humvee. I want to shoot shit. I want a gun on mine. If there's not a gun on it, then I don't want to

go. That would be my goal. I want to fly something with a gun on it. No, no, I want big guns. I want a 30mm cannon and some fucking Hellfire rockets or something outrageous. I want to burn some shit. I want to do some shit. I'd rather be on the ground than in the air, I think. I don't want to be up in the air.

I'd rather be on the ground. But also thinking of like Band of Brothers. You guys need to be up in the air and go home every night. I'll be fine. Like maybe. I don't have to go. I can talk big right now. It doesn't matter.

Yeah, I'd fucking go in there and do shit. No, just like watching Band of Brothers, like in that one scene in the beginning of it where Ross from Friends is like training the troop and he gets out there and his like sergeants or whatever are like, you know,

Lieutenant, we have to go east. East towards that fence. It's like, no, no. It's a trap. We go north. Over there. And they like north over there and they like immediately pop out and then like all the ghillie suited uh training uh teachers are like just pointing at him and they're like oh well you failed you fucking lose like i would i would never want to be the guy in charge of directions because we would we would be maybe a third of the way through world war ii if i was in that room with churchill given directions of like uh just go east no wait wes

you know what just come and put it spread everybody out just because like because but i i would not be helpful with any sort of directional thing at all i'd need something like that i'm horrible with that but as i don't know seems like on the ground would be much much better like you'd have to be in the firefight more than like a world War II scenario, but the thought of being shot down from a plane or, like, you're in a helicopter and the fucking pilot gets shot or something, like, I don't know. It's freaky.

And the tank thing, I've thought about that, too, but all I could ever think about if I was in the tank is, like, yeah, I'm super protected. And I'm like, oh, no, the enemy knows I'm super protected and they're German. Mercedes has a great shell for this. Like, and then you'd be fucked like mercedes extra penetrable shell you know now i uh i i don't think you'd want i would

not want to be the guy on the ground if if i could help it like the idea with the seals and the special forces is that it seems like from what you see on on tv and movies is like they go in and do a thing and then take them back out and then they're done or maybe they're just doing something for a while but then they're always getting extracted I just really don't like the idea of like I can't remember there's been a couple of documentaries where those soldiers

are in Afghanistan were just like stuck there like bunkered down on that hilltop and it's just like every day we guard this nothingness valley with our lives until they let us go home like that seems like the worst that seems like every day you wake up like all right i'm gonna risk my life for nothing again today in this valley worth nothing in afghanistan like that seems like awful awful job whereas i'd much rather be the guy on an aircraft

carrier who's like waving those signal things around and like doing a little dance move as I send the planes off, you know? Then he goes down below and like, I don't know, eat some food and they might even have like a pocket pussy or something. Like that guy's got a good job. Especially like if you're the guy, like you're in the Middle East, in Afghanistan. Like it's even worse if you're like one of those guys in like 2004, like the first 2004, the first part of it in Iraq, I guess it is. And just in Afghanistan then, I guess it was 2005 or whatever, they'd have to be at a war being like, oh, this isn't at all what I pictured.

Because 9-11 was 2001. In what? We must have been in there within nine months or so, right? It took us longer to get into Afghanistan thanistan than iraq i don't know the exact i was just kind of picking like an earlier date of it oh you might be right but when you first get into afghanistan like it'd have to be such a horrible rude awakening to be like oh this is nothing like i thought war was it went to afghanistan like shortly thereafter but iraq didn't happen until uh 2004 or like late

2003 maybe that's when the shock and awe thing happened because i remember we watched shock and awe in class like in metals class the tv was like fucking watch this shit they're bush is showing them what for boys so september 11 2001 obviously is when 9-11 happened by october 7th less than a month later, the war had started in Afghanistan. Yeah. Okay, so I got mixed up there. But if you were in 2002 or whatever on the early part of Afghanistan, and you get over there in the Middle East,

guaranteed you asked those people 10 months before, what's Afghanistan? Most of them are going to be like that's uh that's where the easterlings are from in lord of the rings i believe and it's like they would have no no idea like i don't know at least i could definitely see how that would be like totally disenchanting once you got there and you imagined the war to be like all the propaganda stuff they show you about world war ii when like true valor and shit like that was still you know and who knows how much of that was propaganda it's been so long we've probably bought a lot of it

like i think like original afghanistan the first people like taylor's talking about were probably psyched they were probably like fuck yeah you know like after 9-11 happened i have just been clenching my fists hoping they send me to afghanistan i want to be the guy that finds osama bin laden right? Probably everyone there, it's their version of a high school football player making the NFL. You know, they want to be the guy that gets that kill. Fast forward six years later, you know, bin Laden's like already dead.

We don't even know what we're doing. Now there's a like valley full of nothingness that we're defending for some reason. What, so Afghanistan, Afghanis have a better way of life? And those are the demotivated guys. like valley full of nothingness that we're defending for some reason what so afghanistan afghanis have a better way of life and those are the demotivated guys protecting poppy fields and shit like that like yeah where you just have to know where they're like protect this field there's lots of uh buried intelligence in chests don't ask what just do it and they're like oh oh so we're protecting heroin is that oh they were very clear about the fact that they were protecting the heroin.

They were clear about that. Did you watch that Brad Pitt movie on Netflix? There's that scene there where it's called The Sandbox or something like that. I can't remember. But it's about the general that they put in charge of Afghanistan, um, a couple of years ago. And he, he thought that, that the reason that Afghanistan had been going poorly for like eight, nine years was that like, they just didn't have the right man and they're doing the, doing the job right.

And that he was just going to like willpower and like make this thing work like, like through, through, through will along. And he got there and realized it's just a mess that can't be made. Right. Uh,

but there's a part where he's, he's standing there looking at the big heroin slash poppy field, and he's like, why? Why don't we have them grow corn? Can't they grow corn or wheat or something like that? And he's like, yes, sir, he could, but that would be in direct competition with American farmers, and we can't have that, sir.

So we just have them grow the heroin. All right, then. They laid that out real quick. And it's like, yeah, that makes sense's like yeah it does right because you're like i don't want u.s tax dollars pouring into some afghani crop which is going to hurt some u.s farmer in ohio so have them grow heroin which will hurt their kids i guess i don't know the farmers in ohio i maybe i didn't think that through. No, you're right. Now we've got big opioid problems.

Yeah, like all over Kentucky. If we really wanted to beat them, then you need to have those farmers in Ohio grow enough heroin that you put the Afghanis out of business, right? That's thinking. I bet we could grow... Those motherfuckers are in a desert with like... You always see them and they look dry, like the sand people from fucking uh star wars and just like chapped lips and stuff they don't have enough water to grow a fine crop of opium like we could here in the in the bread basket of can you imagine what the average person's piss smells like in like in areas in the middle east where they just

don't have enough water it's just like if if they have they have comes out like imagine to you asparagus like yeah it's just cheese oh like imagine if you gave them like a uh like you you gave them just like a one and a half liter bottle of fucking fiji or something and they guzzle that down and like half an hour later they'll be like there's a great problem there is clear pee coming out of me muhammad spoke against this you know like whatever like that just imagine how much that would suck like obviously i'm talking about rural areas since they have fucking water and cities and shit they can drink not big city afghanistan that's not what we're talking about well no we're not talking about the hustle and bustle of um uh what's the name of the city known as kabul uh mashmash mashmash is in unspecified astan not afghanistan

uh but the first time someone brought up like uzbekistan to me i'm like i gotta check on that not 100 sold on this you're young during 9-11 but i had had all these coworkers who claimed to have, like, knowledge of the Afghanistan situation before 9-11. Like, oh, yeah, no, I've been following these guys. Listen, I'm an expert on the Taliban. Bullshit. Bullshit. You have never once mentioned the Taliban until 9-11.

You know, I will grab a map and I will test your ass. You know what did happen? I promise this happened because I always say we were in driver's ed like when it happened. We were listening to the radio. We were in the car like pulling back into the school and it was going down on the radio. And I remember my driver's ed teacher going, but it was that Osama bin Laden fella. Really? But it was him.

Yeah, I swear to God he did. I had never heard of Osama bin Laden before. Now, I know that Clinton tried to take out the Taliban. And he got... It was like during... When did bin Laden get CIA training from us? Yeah, so he was part of the Mujahideen back when the resistance against the Soviets. Yeah, and we were pumping in resources, if you will.

In other words, stinger missiles and weapons platforms. I mean, what time period was that? The 80s. The 80s. And then when did it end? 90s. The Russians, yeah. Like, when did the Berlin Wall fall?

Like, 89? Probably coincided right in there with the fall of the Soviet Union. Sometime during Clinton's turn, they attacked the USS Cole. I think it was towards the very end of it. and then it became very obvious they are now our enemy too yeah they had bombed some embassies and stuff yeah they they had yeah they they were they were dicks but yeah it's interesting to see how that all changed because in the cold war we had found an ally in these people who would fight against the soviets for us and you know i always talk about how at the end of rambo 3 the credits in rambo 3 rambo goes to to afghanistan and and rescues his old commander and fights the soviets um and it

used to say rambo and used to say in the credits uh like this film is dedicated to the brave fighters of the muzha hadin which is fucking Osama bin Laden and his crew right? Rambo so now so now you go back and watch you rent Rambo 3 and it'll say this film is dedicated to

the gallant people of Afghanistan the gallant people so they stepped it back a bit. Yeah, but it's still there a little bit. It's still there a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's definitely still there. A big part of the movie is that some Afghan fighters join with Rambo and guide him and get him there and then there's a big resistance. They help him a bit.

Horses against tanks. Horses win for some reason. If I recall. It's been a while since I've seen it. Some of the allies we've had. Yeah, it's been a while. I haven't.

Having Russia as an ally, hour i guess the soviet union at the time in world war ii like i don't know it just it really speaks to how fucking horrible the japanese and the germans were at the time that we were like all right like soviet union dude like in all honesty like go fuck yourself but we gotta figure this out like like we like this this guy this mustache dude is wrecking shit that japanese guy has got your fucking number if you let him you know pitter patter around over there he's gonna get bored of raping nan king eventually and then goddamn moscow's on the list like do you ever think about that like how weird it is that we just we utilize that ally and then as soon as it was over, it was like, all right. All over the place.

Now Germany's a better ally than Russia is. And, yeah. That's been like that for years. Yeah, it's been that way for years. I know you're distasteful, because of recent events, but yeah, Germany's a better ally than Russia is. I don't know.

Russia's not our ally. They're not our friends. Vladimir Putin is a dictator who murders people. I always am questioning on the murder people thing. I give leaders a pass because some people need a little murdering, right? Yeah, but he gives direct orders for political opposition

and writers and journalists and stuff. He's like, oh, that's how you know Trump isn't the fucking actual antichrist or a really big bad guy or anything. Because there's so many goddamn people mocking him 24-7 and he has the power, I'm sure, to have at least

one or two of them rubbed out. I mean, Hillary Clinton's had at least three or four people killed in the last six months. It's a hobby. And Trump's got more power than her. Well, she didn't win and she's a killer. Yeah. Like, who's going to finish all of those lampshades and weird art on indistinguished canvases on her wall?

Who's going to do that? Who's going to fill her fingernail bowl? You know, like, whatever other creepy shit she has. Yeah, yeah. Like, part of me wants to believe that, like, you know, what was that in the simpsons the the hammer club or whatever the fuck the um we do the gorilla vest no that's be my vest that's awesome

it's um they were the uh no absolutely not um That's be my vest. That's awesome. Let me find this. Where's Mark Paul? No, absolutely not. Okay. What is it called? The Illuminati. No, it's not that. It's the Stonecutters. It's the Stonecutters.

The Stonecutters. Because they're ripping off the Masons. Yeah, they're the Stonecutters. Yeah, and they all have that big, who keeps, and then they're like, who keeps the wraps on the aliens? And then the camera pans and there's a little Martian over there.

We do! We do! Like, there's a fucking Martian stonecutter in there. And it was just, like, all the local characters of The Simpsons. Like, the fucking mailman's in there. Yeah, Carl, Lenny. Not a very, this is a very low level, this is the entry level to the world domination. You know what I saw the other day?

Dr. Hibbert was there. Someone showed a picture of Ralph Wiggum, you know, the police chief's the world domination. Dr. Hibbert was there. Someone showed a picture of Ralph Wiggum, the police chief's son who's retarded. And they were like, if you look closely, you can tell Ralph is not police chief Wiggum's son. He's Lenny's son. Because they draw his ear and hair the exact same way as Lenny's,

not at all like the police chief. I thought that was a cool little nugget of information. Simpsons is a... At some point it'll end and I'll go back and re-watch it. But I've never watched a Simpsons episode on demand or streamed it. I haven't watched it since I was a kid. You know what I'm getting mad at? Rick and Morty.

They teased one episode on April 1st. Game of Thrones will come out before episode two of Rick and Morty. Three months late. So what is their timetable now? They don't have a timetable. They're just fuckheads. Remember it was 18 months and then it was like, oh no, things are ahead of schedule. There was this rumor it was going to be about six or seven months ago.

Then they came out with one on April 1stst and nothing since then no word no nothing i yeah they did they just recently we got den harmon the other day he was like it's taking long because we're you know it's just taking longer to to we're trying to do this right taking longer we're slaving two, sometimes three hours a day. And we're jamming. It's risky business when these creators of TV shows and movies do the thing where they're like, you know, most shows have a season out every year, but we need a year and a half to a year and nine months to get it ready. Because really, you're not striking while the iron is hot. You're not taking advantage of when people understand your show to be on,

so you're losing viewership in that way because most like for every big forum of like oh fucking rick and morty there's 20 people out there who saw a couple episodes were like oh this is really good and then they try and find something when shows are supposed to come out and go well i guess it's canceled and they don't really think about it much anymore like they i don't know it's annoying when when those like content creators of really really good shit don't strike when they have really really good stuff then they're more apt to make up their own rules like oh yeah we're doing a seven episode season this year and you'll take it because we make good stuff and it's like george rr martin oh like no matter what no matter how good these next two books are if they come out there people are going to be disappointed i've given up on the

book like there's no way i have no emotional attachment to those books anymore there was a time when it was like the next season's coming out he had to release the book first right it's been two seasons since i thought that now i just think i still want you know the like the canon is the shows now in my head i don't i don't mind that rick and morty hasn't come out yet they they it's not like they've missed a date or anything they've never been like it'll be out in may and it wasn't out of a clever trick for not hitting not missing dates they just don't announce any dates i've also never missed a date so how can we be how can we be upset you know those expectations to me are

set by every other show in the history of mankind. You know, kind of every year they come out with some new episodes or they get canceled. And no one just does one show on April Fool's Day as a surprise and then calls that good. I love that. I like that even better. I did like that. The fact that they just threw that April Fool's episode out, I love that. I like that about them.

I like that they're trying to get it right. That's the most important thing to me is I don't want it to come out. I love that. I like that about them. I like that they're trying to get it right. That's the most important thing to me. I don't want it to come out half-baked or anything. I don't want to be disappointed with season three. So whenever it comes out, I'll be perfectly happy. I mean, look how fast Game of Thrones has snuck up on us. It's only like two weeks away or something. Whenever it comes out, I'll be happy, and I

hope it's good. The only good thing they've done is put that episode out on the first. That was a good idea by them because they kind of had to remind people, like, hey, we're still making the show, because it had been so long. But I don't know. I'm trying not to think about all the shows that I need to wait a whole year for, especially Fargo, because, man, that show's just so hit. Hit, hit, hit. You know, the second season

wasn't as much of a hit, but I still really liked it. I'm in the minority. I liked it more than the third. I know Kyle likes the third more than the second. Yeah, I didn't like that. I didn't like the characters in the second. I didn't think they were very good. But the first one, Billy Bob, is so good. Billy Bob just completely steals

the show. And then you've got the guy who plays Niggard, whatever his name is, Nygaard Who was also Bilbo Baggins, I always fudge his name Whatever his name is, he does a good job Martin Short or something? Definitely not Oh wait, I know what his name is Gilbert Gottfried I think

But yeah, absolutely not No! You would have remembered, you would have. Martin Freeman, Martin Freeman. Martin Freeman, okay. Can we do a lightning round of fitness talk? Yeah, I'll go first real quick. Two out of three, two out of the three less.

I was two out of three, four, and then three again today. Back at the kettlebells, I took a little break. I got sick and started again. That's roughly it. Most of the other stuff, same old, same old. Clothes looking better. Wore dry fit, felt better about that. That's a bridge to cross.

As you put on athletic clothes and you're spinning in the mirror like you're the bell of the ball. Like, well, look at me and my no love handle. 203, it keeps getting getting better i was reading this thing um i guess that we talked about wings last week so they were like showing these old episodes like pka 67 or something and they're like look at how the old woody's changed you got all this and that and someone mentioned that my head got really big and i thought that's true but you haven't

looked lately you know if you look at me right, I don't have a really fat face. I did three months ago, but their perception just hasn't updated yet. But I've thinned in my face. It's 17 pounds. It'll show. And yeah. So anyway, that's my fitness round. I'm still going. That's good. Sticking with it. It doesn't count as missing a workout if you're round. I'm still going. That's good. Sticking with it. It doesn't count as missing a workout if you're sick. I was laying in bed on a couch, really.

I got kicked out of my bed because I was so sick. Jackie's like, don't bring that nightmare on me. And I had to sleep on the couch, and I was just freezing and sweating. Yeah, she should sleep on the couch. She's the one who's not sick. Yeah. If my significant other was really sick,

I'd be like, all right, you take the bed. I'm going to take the couch because I don't want to be vomiting in the morning with whatever stomach bug you have. I wouldn't be like, get out of here. Nasty. I don't know. That wasn't even like on the menu. Throwing pillows at you. It was just whether or not I'd sleep in that bed.

I spent two nights on the couch and I was miserable. I was like sweating buckets, freezing. You need better sleep when you get sick. Yeah, I, huh. Yeah, I got it. Tsk, tsk, Jackie.

You know, next time, next time she gets sick, you'll take the couch and you'll guilt her about it. Subtly. In fairness, I think she's getting me coffee and water right now

because I texted her for it. She has her strong points. But, um. Two nights sleep through a coffee and water. Yeah, the sickness turned for it so she has her strong points but um two nights yeah the sickness turned out to be no joke thing you know what i went to the doctor i mean unless she's going to starbucks lime disease but i tested negative for it but that was their her first impression that's good anyway yeah what is this fucked you can end up with like an allergic to allergic uh becoming allergic like red meat and like so rest of your life, no red meat. Imagine that. You'd love steak. Imagine if you could never

have a steak again. I'd be so upset. Not if you're going keto, right? No more meat? No more red meat ever? How many halibut fillets are you going to burn through before, you know, the other white meat,

before the exhaust on your car and a long tube starts to look more appetizing you know you know i bet they have red meat and have like you really religious i have wondered what the other side of this thing looks like a handful that vole poison when i have a weight that i'm happy with because i still look in the mirror and i'm like ah yes athletic woody there are hints of him emerging, but that's not him. And so let's say I do lose 10 more pounds or even 13, which would be the full monte all the way down to 190. Do I have to continue passing every ice cream, every,

like my wife had waffles this morning. No. Are they ever a part of my life again? Of course not. Yeah. Yeah. Make a cheat day. Like once, like i feel like once

you get to like 195 like you should you should institute like a cheat day i have like cheat saturdays and set and cheat saturdays have waffles with maple syrup and a burger and with fries i do a cheat meal every week and uh some people think it's helpful to have that it's not just uh like a mental kind of health thing they think like in the same way that if a ufc fighter wants to cut water he starts pounding the water so his body no longer like values water and then it becomes really easy to expel it all um they think that like if you go zero carbs and just straight up never have a carb and keep doing that then the reduced carb thing stops working as well as it did.

Some people say that. I don't know. What the hell? The rules will change two years from now again. Keto will be some old diet. With the workout, I'm doing pretty good. Sticking to it. Still hitting the workouts every time I weigh.

I still weigh 205. I can tell I'm still putting on muscle though. And so that's good. I can tell the jiggling in the belly region is, is nearing, uh, well not nearing its lowest. Cause there have been times where I was like way too skinny and it was, it just didn't look good, but it's very minimal. Now the love handles are gone.

All the shirts are fitting good. Um, the shoulders are filling out nice cause of the, the lifting and everything. So I'm liking it. I'm really, I'm enjoying it. I'm really, I'm enjoying it. I'm not cheating on the weekend as much as I was.

And so that's good. But I don't know. I think I'm going to do like a couple more weeks of really just focusing on lifting as hard as I can for as long as I can, because I just added a few more exercises that I'm going to try and get through in like my circuit or whatever. And then, you know, if I continue to like hover around 205, I'm going to try and get through in my circuit or whatever. And then if I continue to hover around 205, I'm going to cut calories down more and see how that goes. But yeah, I'm glad we're all sticking with it.

We're like three months in at this point. I'm 171 pounds. I think I'm going to keep losing fat. I kind of like the idea of going really low body fat percentage. So I've been doing a lot more cardio lately i i ran today and i ran yesterday i kind of like like i wouldn't i'm never going to do anything like it but there's there's this little part in my head that's like what would my fighting weight be like like like you know my height would never is never going to change but like what what weight would i fight at

if i were going to fight in the ufc and it's like i could definitely hit 155 right like like i could get down to 155 at just over yeah yeah i'm pretty sure you would be a real i think i feel like you'd have to add muscle right you need to add a lot of because you're six two is that right yeah definitely definitely 155 seems'd definitely have to add some muscle. Yeah. But it'd be long. It would be. Yeah, but if you put on muscle,

then you'd be heavier, and you might not be able to get to 155. That's true. Right? That's true. You'd have to be... Those are the fights that UFC that I watch that are the most boring-looking going into it

and then end up being the best ones in the actual fight is when it's like two lanky guys that if you saw them at a pool in public and someone like him and was like, hey, what do you think your chances are against that guy? And I'm like, oh, pretty fucking great. Like that. Like, yeah, unless unless he's got the force on his side and he's going to cast me aside. I've got this unlocked.

But like those ones, it's always like, Michael the Hammer Smith! And it's like, those little stats come up, and you're like, oh, 5'8"? 141? What is this?

Did they... Is this guy... No, he can't be two children wearing a trench coat. He's not wearing a shirt. That couldn't be what it is. And then those guys are the ones who always just tear it up like feral cats.

Whereas the heavy, the big guys are exciting for 15 to 20 seconds every few minutes. Yeah, I don't like heavyweight fights at all. It seems like in the heavyweight, I don't know their names offhand, but you've got the same three or four guys that are just rotated. JDS, Kane,

Verdun. Mark Hunt. I guess. Is it guys that are just like jds kane every mark hunt i guess um what is it was it is overrated i was talking about like like it seems like the the oh how do they leave out stipe stipe miyokic he's the current champ but it seems like there's four guys that are possibly going to be champ and it's always been those four for like six years now yeah whereas like at 145 you've got so much shit going on but you got that korean superboy guy like kim bo choy or i can't pronounce his name or i don't know his name rather and um uh with a tj dillashaw and uh cody garbrandt and uh all those guys at anywhere between really the bottom of the weight classes is the most interesting.

At 135, of course, you got Demetrius. To about 155. So you're off. DJ is at 125. Cody's, yeah. 25? Cody's 135. Jesus, that's so tiny.

TJ's just stepping down to 135. Okay. I didn't know he was at 125. thought the bottom was 135 no that's so little yeah he's small how tall is how tall is my i have to look it up maybe five eight okay all right what a little yeah he's small but he's 125 25 pounds you could cut both my arms off and I could make 125. Or one calf. Yeah, not even, it could, 125. I'm thinking of things that weigh 120.

Like, that's what most girls weigh. That's like an average girl weight. You know, most white girls write about 125. Fit ones. And I got, that's impressive. All right, ad time. Yeah. Good time to tell everyone a little bit about Squarespace because this episode of PK is sponsored by our friends over at Squarespace.

Whether you need a domain, website, or online store, make your next move with Squarespace. With easy-to-use tools, you can create a beautiful website with Squarespace's all-in-one platform. There's nothing to install, patch, or upgrade ever. You can create a beautiful website or online store with an award-winning template. Squarespace's award-winning templates are the most beautiful way to present your ideas online. Squarespace also offers a unique domain

experience. It's fully transparent and simple to set up. Trusted by millions of people and some of the most respected brands in the world, Squarespace is used by a wide range of creatives and people, musicians, designers, artists, restaurants, and more. Everybody needs their own corner of the internet today, so get started and start your free trial today at squarespace.com. PKA to get 10% off your first purchase. That's squarespace.com. PKA. Begin the next move in your career today with Squarespace.

Check them out. You need a website? That's how you do it. Yep. Don't waste time on an expensive, you know, outsourced person you're going to hire to do it for you. You can do it yep don't waste time on an expensive you know outsource person you're going to hire to do it for you you can do it yourself if you're starting a business or something like that you can't afford to just be throwing money away anyway so this is the smart move and can't recommend it high enough this is a pk or patreon question if you were king of the world what's the first law

you would overturn or abolish completely? Oh, women being able to drive, right? Like the Saudis have one thing right. Well, it's not just the Saudis. Quite a few countries over there, if I recall correctly, right? I don't know. Maybe not. Maybe like Afghanistan is that way.

I know you have to dress really restrictively. I can't imagine they let them drive. No, you have to have cars first. I like the Saudi prince came out the other day and was like, we need to start letting women drive. He's like, but hey, our grandfathers allowed their wives

to lead their camels, didn't they? This was literally what he came out and said. He was like, look, our forefathers allowed their wives to lead their camels, lead their own camels, and yet we won't let our wives drive their own cars makes no sense and i was like wow finally a saudi prince for the modern age who really gets it you know our progressive he's like the cool pope you know he comes out a little bit he's like

uh you do not need to wear a condom if you do not wish. But God will know. It's like, alright. Alright, cool pope. Settle down. Jesus isn't up there. You're right. Yeah, you wear a condom. He's not a fan of that.

All their silly rules. I'm trying to think of what I would do as lord of the world. Like, I'd have to go full maniacal and make it basically like a worship cult of myself maybe obviously or go the other way and be like a pretend ruler of the people where like like every once in a while like vladimir putin style there's like a picture of me outside like a fucking marriott like oh just in the town with the boys but really i'm like in my own palatial estate somewhere like that kind of shit i'd make laws what would i do oh yeah i would uh gluten intolerance would be seen as a lack of faith in my cult patriotic will yeah it was a lack of willpower a lack of faith like i'd take a page

out of the christian scientist there where you had to worship me, my cult, Our Lady of the Forest. It's an owl. Of course it is. A big horned owl. Lots of structures like that. Five ways to find a commie. Number one, gluten intolerance.

Gluten intolerance. Number two, get rid of Whole Foods. No more Whole Foods. Okay. We'd start putting all the good produce everywhere. That's in my world. I don't think that's sustainable. What else would we do?

No, Kyle. It doesn't have to be sustainable. Just until I'm dead. And then there will be so many monoliths and monuments to me all around. It'll take forever to destroy them. You know? Yes. Taylor.

Taylor the Impaler. Yeah. It would just be because I travel the world. I think I'd like to legalize all the drugs, right? Because I think that that might actually work. I feel like if you legalize all the drugs, then there's no more war on the drugs and all of those resources. One step further. Before you do that, you mandate certain

drug use in certain countries as a kind of case study. So you'd be like, alright, for the next two years, Ireland, you actually, no, I was going to say drinking, but that's a horrible case study. As a matter of fact, they've just completed. They're going to return the results. They've just finished. 400 years. Ireland, we've only been

doing this experiment for two years and you submitted 20 years of data? Yeah, but you'd take turkey, and you'd be like, your hashish, all of it, gone. You're all drinking, and you have to drink three drinks a day for the next two years. We're going to see how things pan out. You, Mongolia, you're going to be a lot of potheads for a while.

I don't care if you don't like it. You're getting high every day for three years. Hey, you people in fucking Zimbabwe uh you lucky roll the dice you get prescription pills or whatever and and you know do stuff like that and then after two years you see which countries have totally collapsed and which ones are still mildly salvageable because at this point i will have racked up a lot of unfavorability with my subjects. They'd be like, Turkey would revolt if they weren't so hungover. If they didn't get the shakes every time they were holding their rifle.

They'd have revolted by now. And these Mongolians have gained a lot of weight. Wait, what did Mongolia get? I don't know. Marijuana? They got weed. Pot.

Yeah, they got weed for the munchies. Put that fermented mare's milk away. It's all pot for you from now on. But yeah, something like that. Something like that. I think the Mongolians drink something like that. I know we were talking about how the Kazakhstanis drink the fermented goat's milk, but I think maybe the Mongolians drink fermented mare's milk,

or maybe it's reindeer milk or something ridiculous like that. Oh, all shitty delicacies will be banned. Oh, I love that. I will personally go to every country in my kingdom and I'll sit down and I'll go to fucking Kenya and I'll go like, all right, Taylor the Impaler here, waiting for your finest meats and treasures of food. You know, I just came from the Netherlands and they really blew me away with some stuff. They give you like escargot.

And they just, they come over and it'd be like, all right, well that is a, that is an old can of chicken of the sea so no thank you. Like,

and then he'd be like, I hope this pleases you. It is a four dried spiders fresh from the forest. And then I'd be like, I'd be like, oh, bam,

I hit my, I hit my red X. It goes up in the front of there like, and then, and then I have to like, I hit my red X. It goes up in the front of there. And then I have to tell them. There's no punishment for it, by the way. There's no punishment other than a couple minutes of mocking. Of like, oh my God, people are eating fucking spiders? What the hell? There's Pringles out there.

I would then airdrop tons of supplies into those areas to make real delicacies. And before they know it, and maybe not even stuff to make real delicacies i could just drop in a fucking palette of reese's peanut butter cups and in 20 minutes all of kenya is going to be like i do not think anyone in this nation will ever eat spiders ever again we had no idea that peanut butter and chocolate together was so much better than woodland creatures crawling on the ground that would dry and then eat as a treat. You know, you go all around

the world and you remedy. Now you've been overturning mankind's laws this whole time, right? I want to overturn nature's laws, right? Like sugar no longer makes you fat. Bam! There's a law overturned. So you're just a propaganda minister. Gravity is now negotiable.

These are like nature's laws that we're gonna fuck with in a little bit that's how it should be done what would you do Kyle? I would make a weight limit I would enact a weight limit and if you were it'd be like when you go to the

fucking carnival right you're not this tall you don't get to fucking live anymore in my world and if you're this big you don't get to fucking live anymore and in my world you know and if you if you're this big you don't get to live anymore that would be the deal or we put you to work somehow i think like i feel like the most disappointing thing in the world three days goes by they're working on the same way because they're all total fatties you can't do shit yeah i think i'd institute a weight limit um you know you you'd have to right i i think um maybe like use that system they have at the airport where they've got that plexiglass

box and they're like ah if your carry-on could fit in here then it could fit in there like have one of those like in every we have a census every what four or five years or some shit like yeah we have a fucking weight census now and all of a sudden all the fatties have to walk right and there's just this big plexiglass door that you have to walk through i remember at paintball there's uh at joliet there's this little shortcut you can take around the building you can you can squeeze between a fence and the building and whenever i was walking with a fellow fatty i was like this will take the long way around i don't want that awkward situation where i slip through here like tom on a tom and jerry cartoon and you bang into

it like that fucking dumb cat and i gotta turn around like yeah i turn around i guess you're not making it like we need one of those where like they you know there'd be that situation where like the compliance officer is standing there watching you try to squeeze yourself through the two panes of plexiglass. Non-violent criminals get to be in the PPFL, the Penitentiary Prison Football League. And if you're not a violent offender, so you can't have murders unless I'm feeling crazy that weekend or something. But I could. I could. I could include them at any time keep in mind like you would but for most people you would get all of them together and you'd let them try out and then you let them play this can be adapted to any sport yeah just saying football because it would be the most make it regional up in the

north they play hockey down in the south they play football yeah you have uh uh whatever you want and you have them play in their own prison league so like fucking the big prison complexes in new york and georgia and fucking wherever else they all play and the winner of that league every year gets to play the winner of the super bowl if they ever if they ever score a touchdown, then they all get reduced sentences. If they win, they're all freed and they get Super Bowl rings. And at least half of them are guaranteed

jobs on ESPN. There's so many ways to have fun with that. Maybe it's a basketball game. Every fucking point you score, those are years off your time. But of course, you got those poor motherfuckers who got those 260 year sentences. I'm going to be fucking Larry Bird to make it out of here. God damn it.

I'm going to get 40 points a game. It's just not happening. Oh, it looks like that. These back-to-back triple doubles aren't enough to stave off that little girl rape case. You know, not quite enough. Back to prison for you. You know, like, like okay that would be good

what other maddening things well they do that a while back i talked about how in thailand they have those prison fights where the prisoners fight muay thai for their freedom and uh and like the best guy like there's a whole showtime series about it um i haven't watched it yet but but it's i think at the end this guy has won like 12 fights in a row. And they're like, all right, this is the fight. He wins. He walks. And they show that Muay Thai fight in the series.

And spoiler alert, I'm pretty sure he wins the fight and walks and everything. I would hope so. That'd be a disappointment. But he murdered a man. That's what he's in for. This isn't like grand larceny. This isn't like white collar crime. He's like, yeah, I was in a gang. I stabbed a guy and killed him. But he's done like six, seven years of his sentence or whatever. But he's really good fighter. And so they're going to turn him loose.

world and so i will include murderers in my league but as a stipulation to keep people in the public safe because of course under my rule everyone has a concealed carry permit and proper gun training is anytime someone with the big uh f for felon or vf for violent felon on their forehead gets out because you have to you have to like at least sharpie it on or something every morning i'm not going to tattoo them i'm not gross like if they ever get out of control, you can shoot them. Anything like that. I like that. I think that's good. I'd give my world three to four months before it's just over.

Like, it's just like President of the World Taylor the Impaler has decreed that all tax funds will go to the St. Louis Blues for the next three days. He thinks of it as a small, you know, socking away fund. It's actually going to destroy the economy. An economist with us today to explain it.

Frankly, it's unbelievable that we're listening to this man. Why did we ever think Taylor the Impaler was good in the first place? And then like one sentence into there, two guys with VF on their forehead walk up behind him and pull him out of there. one sentence into there, two guys with VF on their forehead walk up behind him and pull him out of there. And it's like, ah, you didn't know that my Violent Felon League was a giant construct to have an underground army of people desperate to stay free.

You didn't consider that, did you? And that's what I would do. Violent Felon League football. Who would announce for that? Mike Tyson? Why not? An absolutely devastating hit. Who would announce for that? Mike Tyson? Why not? Looking to benefit the... An absolutely devastating hit.

I don't know. I don't know. And you'd have to think of other weird shit. You know what the coolest part about the gladiatorial games back with the Romans was, in my opinion? It was that occasionally, like, the emperor would, like, get get bored or whatnot and he'd be like hey all those people in section 7d throw them in are you sure that happened like and they just throw like yeah yeah they just throw a bunch of people from the crowd in let you know let have the lions at them uh i've never heard of that before i think that was caligula but but I'm not sure which one. I've never heard of that before.

Yeah. I didn't know. That seems like it would be horrible for ticket sales. You would think, because those were probably the seats closest to the action, right? Those were expensive seats. So they're like fat, rich people. They just throw them to the lions? This is less and less believable. Well, they did murder caligula like four

or five years into his reign you know he was a madman of like 25 years old ruling the entire world and naming his horse uh console and building like bridges over rivers and stuff he was he was i don't know anything about that i don't think he had syphilis to my knowledge but i'm not i'm not a fucking historian i just watched a documentary about Caligula yesterday. I'm trying to find something about them doing fucked up stuff in the Coliseums. They pour molten lead down people's throats and crucify people.

Yeah, I've been there. It's neat, man. There's something about being a place where shit went down that captures my imagination. And you stand there and you're like, that's where the pits were. And that's where the crowd,

what crowds went blood crazy, like bloodthirsty blood lust up there while people die. You can walk around like where the fights were and stuff. And, uh, you know, and like, and they would feel really interesting that they would fill it with water and

have those naval battles in there. They would flood it and have the naval battles in there with ships and stuff. I mean, you're free to check these. That's the true thing. This is actually true. You guys make up shit all the time to try to get me to look like an asshole.

This is like a regular part of PKA. Forgive me for checking facts every once in a while. You guys are saboteurs. Well, the emperor was tired because his mistress was a quiet talker. And so she... That's obviously a Seinfeld thing. But yeah, they did exactly what Kyle's saying, where they'd wall up the sides,

they would flood the entire Coliseum, and they'd have mini naval battles. That's the level of insanity that they were doing here and just like looking at it like like it's so old what year here tell me what you think what year do you think it coliseum was built like when did they start doing shit there 700 i don't fucking know go 300 80 80 80 can you imagine like like i know that they didn't actually say 80 back then like what year is it it's 80 like but if if that's what they did do it would be kind of depressing because it would be like what year is it it's 81 it's like man like we're gonna miss a lot of shit aren't we like yeah yeah i i assume i assume everything good starts i don't know like 1200 i have no idea dude it's i think you're

looking at it wrong i can't even read they'd be like what happens at 100 yeah i don't even know what the next number is they don't even know what the next number is after 100 yeah they'd have to ask their master or lord or whatever. Or no, they could... The average Roman citizen could not read, right? Like, they were really literate for the time, but they still were like pretty shit, right? I still think about my time in the Colosseum. There's an underground part where people would sort of stage before they went up.

And I just picture, like, imagine knowing you're about to fight for your life in a little... Yeah, they could have read, because there was a graffiti. Yeah, there's graffiti on the Coliseum. I remember that now. So yeah, they could read and write. At least the ones who could afford Coliseum tickets. Yeah, and one of the interesting things

I remember learning about the Coliseum is there's like, I guess there's names of gladiators and they're like their records like uh written down and there's some of these guys that were like crazy champions and like you know we fawn over like conor mcgregor like oh he's the greatest ever but like go back to the year 80 right like maybe there was a fucking he-man woman-hating badass motherfucker they got out of northern africa and captured because he was the baddest kingdom king of his tribe and like maybe there was a fucking he man woman hating badass motherfucker they got out of northern africa and captured because he was the baddest kingdom king of his tribe and like he just slaughtered men for 25 years in the in the back is it possible to have like a huge technique

advantage right because now like we live in an era of information sharing and coaching i think only at like a higher class rating right like i feel like you've got to be like like so you'd have to like you'd have to have someone to teach you and you'd have to have the spare time to learn from them so you'd have to be a rich guy or a rich guy's son you or that that's why when i hear about investing in you yeah if you were like a professional gladiator you were owned then i guess that that would be the scenario in which that would actually happen yeah and there was a i want to say caligula fought in the uh maybe he's not the one there was definitely a roman emperor who suited up and went

and fought in the ring to the death that'd be great i feel like i could be that yeah why does what do you only fight midgets ah shut up don't criticize the great one he went and fought a badass yeah look at look at this like i just linked you to something the the highest paid athlete of all time like prorated like measured out it's it's this roman charioteer named diocles and i'm going to read this paragraph about him. Gaius Apelleus Diocles. It's a badass name. Diocles was a charioteer and the most prolific of his day. Starting his career at the age of 18, he raced for over 24 years,

an extremely uncommon length of time because of the inherent dangers of chariot racing. It was seven laps of anything-goes racing around the track, with each driver also armed with a curved sword in case his opponent got too close. Wow! his races was in the four horse chariot and he frequently beat the best of the best his patented move was a strong dash to the finish as he won nearly one third of his races by coming from behind on the last stretch after retiring a monument was erected to him in rome by his fellow racers it's why we know the specific numbers about his life he retired at the age of 42 seven months 23 days and earned 35 million 863 120 sesterces in prizes which comes out to around 15 billion in today's dollars uh in addition he was most likely illiterate helping further the stereotypes that athletes are just stupid jocks he was uh he was like a real floyd he was the flo Floyd of his day. Yeah, man. That's outrageous. Except back then it was like, can you read? He was like a Floyd Buffett.

Yeah, he was like 20 Tiger Woods or something. Fucking Cleese. That's pretty fucking impressive, right? Any race where you have a sword just in case, I think you'd be a little on edge. And doing 4,000 of those, what is this percentage of your surviving? This was a strong dash to the finish. I feel like that's not a secret. Like,

aha, my big move is I go faster at the end. Like there had to be some other clue or like. Maybe what he did is like hang back a bit and like harass with swords and stuff. and then like at the end maybe if you're in behind at the end and you can like really get going fast actually yeah it doesn't make any sense it's like being like yeah the secret to basketball is just getting that perfect shot and it's not even a secret like that's not helpful

yeah yeah the secret to the chariot racing is to go really fast at the end. Yeah, well, Chuck said, you'd think after... He considered going fast the whole time. ...after 1,400 of those, people would start catching on. I don't know. Not if you were in first, second, or third place for almost 3,000 of them. Like, that's pretty insane. Holy shit. All right, we've got a video to watch now.

I'm gonna... Chiz just linked it. Does everyone have the link, or do I need to resend it? I can't change the... Send it here, so Woody can get it. Okay. So, this is a pregnant mom who got her purse stolen, and she acted

quickly, it seems. More teachers learning to shoot a gun. Oh! Don't mess... Cue it up. Oh, I need to fix... I am. Ready, set, play.

Give me back my purse i don't know you he ran she ran this fucker over like they show it a couple times this guy is running from her and she runs him down and like a Ford Explorer and hits him in the back and sends him flying. I mean, he shouldn't have been running around shirtless stealing purses. What did she say in the interview? She was like, he stole my purse and started running so I ran him over.

She's like, super matter of fact. You know the clip cuts off right there but you know at the end of she's like and i do it again i do it again i'm pregnant and i'm furious i can do whatever i want like take my purse like yeah that uh i don't feel bad for him at all good for her good for her a little bit of vigilante justice to deter the other crims i i i think you should be able to run some see that's a real foggy area in the law and if i'm in that situation it's like oh there he goes with my belongings

you just can't shoot the guy who's running with your things right and you can't by the same for the same reasons i don't think you can run him over unless you're pregnant woman then you're all good but like if any of us i think had ran over a guy who'd like grabbed our wallet and ran with it we'd probably be in trouble. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Like, if that dude grabs your wallet and runs, and you hop in your fucking truck, and like, boom. Of course.

Boom, boom, boom, boom. Got him. When I took my concealed carry cards, they said, they kept using a toaster. They said, you catch a guy red-handed in your house carrying a toaster. That was a no-shoot situation. And it's like, really? He's in my house. Should I be able to shoot? And it's like, really? He's in my house. Should I be able to shoot?

And they're like, no. You know, you shoot. What if you're in the past and he's running at you? You shoot when you're here for, like, serious harm, rape, or death. Like, those are the three things. And some of them seem a little redundant. But serious harm, rape, or death, sexual assault, or death, and you're allowed to shoot.

Now there's the castle doctrine. I think if you catch a guy with a toaster in your house, you can fire away. Right? No, only if he tries to hit you with a toaster. Didn't the castle doctrine just make it so you can fire if they're in your house?

No, no. They have to be a threat, I think. We had that before. What's the truth? Well, I think that it extends... Oh, that think that it extends uh you don't have that's what it is you don't have the duty to retreat no that's stand your ground what castle doctrine is is i think is that it's extending that uh the boundaries of your home to like your your your property line the fence out there if he jumps over and climbs over your fence into your property he's

in here now and and he's subject to the same kind of repercussions as if he just climbed through your bedroom window that's how i uh interpret uh castle doctrine huh yeah this is something we should but stay but stand your ground is the way i interpret stand your ground is a different thing whereas you know he's confronting you um i have my gun he's he's coming at me repeatedly i don't have to run it's not up to me to run i'm here and i don't have to do anything other than stand my ground and protect myself if need be and if that means deadly force it just does um i don't have any uh i can't think of the the word but i don't have any um need to think i was right i just read the opening paragraph on the wikipedia and it does seem that way i what i don't know is how it's

different than what we had before because what we had before this is north carolina it's the one i know well um if someone was pounding on your door trying to get in you could shoot them through the door that was cool if somebody was already in you had to prove like i said before intent to like seriously harm rape or kill you it seems like with the castle doctrine it's roughly the same thing and there was no duty to retreat in north carolina before in your house like in your car if you're at a gas station and bad guys like seriously harming like going to seriously harm you but you could have easily retreated instead of shot him then you had to do that and i think that's still the case i also think the castle doctrine applies to

vehicles um i think it does oh it depends on your state here's uh here's the list of all of the states with castle doctrine i believe all the states we live in are on there north carolina georgia he's the only attorney i know he does now that he's on the wikipedia page but uh man the missouri one i'm reading through it this is lenient as fuck it extends to any building inhabitable structure or conveyance of any kind whether the building inhabitable structure or conveyance of any kind, whether the building and habitable structure or conveyance is temporary or permanent, mobile or immobile, as long as it has a roof over it, including a tent. That's absolutely right. And it's designed to be. Think about this.

What that's saying is that castle doctrine applies even if, here's a scenario, your kids are camping out in the backyard and some maniac breaks into the tent. Oh, now I kill you. They're breaking into your tent. Or if you had a mobile home or a camper, a lot of people I know will have like a mobile home or a camper that they park on their property while they construct a new home. And home construction sites are often targets for thieves.

And that's why people like to sleep there and live there on their construction sites. People will come steal tools and building materials. So that's a thing that happens a lot. So it's good that it extends to stuff like that. That was Missouri's, North Carolina's, their first line is,

a person is justified in using force except deadly force against another when and to the extent that the person reasonably believes that the conduct

is necessary to defend himself or herself or another against the other's imminent use of unlawful force. Except deadly force, that's my favorite kind of force.

That's the whole reason we're talking about it. I'm allowed to hit them with my gun? The butt of it? No, that's a solid deadly weapon. So there's no duty to retreat. Yeah, I guess you have to really think that

you're under real threat of death before you can use deadly force, and even then they're going to analyze it. I think common sense really helps a lot. My goal would always be to capture the guy right because i feel like that's a better headline it's a better story afterwards and and i'm gonna feel better afterwards i don't want to fucking shoot somebody i'd rather capture this guy um i think about paintball or a video game it's always a cooler better kill or for a montage or whatever if you're like sneak up behind the guy

and like get him with a syringe like in a battlefield or something like that. Yeah, like do that to him. Like capture him. I feel like you've done a better thing and that way you're not gonna get in trouble. No, I think kidnapping. Now anytime I walk down downtown St. Louis,

I'm gonna wear a tent over me and then walk around it like a midget in a traffic cone and then like every 10 feet I can put it me and then walk around it like a midget in a traffic cone and then like every 10 feet I can put it down and then peer around and then get it back up and go and then if anybody ever threatens me I'll just yell loudly like that's my tent! Bang bang bang bang bang bang!

It's got a roof! You know? I can defend it! You know this is my castle! Yeah this uh yeah I'm glad these laws exist. This is so complicated. Hey Woody rick and morty comes out tomorrow nothing but lies i'm not even kidding i'm not even kidding rick from the rick and morty twitter it says uh just this july 30th that's not tomorrow period no it's not yeah it is oh july july 30th month exactly one month away yeah it is june isn't it yeah

okay one month so i was right game of thrones are you really that eager for it morty it will indeed this is gonna be i like that this is gonna be some really nicely tuned television because fargo and uh archer and all those other season shows are gone now but now we get like second tv uh uh stuff coming in you're gonna have game of thrones and uh rick and morty and all those other shows are gone now, but now we get second TV stuff coming in. You're going to have Game of Thrones and Rick and Morty, and I'm not sure what else is going to... They're going to have some fourth-wall-breaking fan insults for all the fervor and hate they've been getting for taking so long.

I guarantee it. I guarantee it will Rick or Morty be like, Oh, I don't know, Rick. The people seem really eager to get this out there. And he's like, Oh, you don't think they have enough going on in their lives, Morty? You don't think they have anything going for them? You think they're so desperate for a show, Morty? I don't know.

They seem like a bunch of winners to me. You know, like that kind of shit. I guarantee something like that is coming. And I would like that. I like when shows make fun of their own. You think those people have lives? There's no lives at Calicut. I guess you're right Rick so um

I was talking to Chiz the other day about I guess supernatural like we're all familiar with supernatural right the premise of it Chiz you know it's the brothers who hunt the monsters and such so Chiz and I are both big fans of it and apparently we're having like a big fan meetup convention type thing and uh and he linked me to this thing and there's, you can pay to get your

photograph taken with a mixture of the characters. If you just want like Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who I think plays Negan in Walking Dead and also the boy's father in the show, it's like a hundred dollars, I think like, like maybe roughly that, but, but like you can get different mixtures of the cast so it could be like you jeffrey dean morgan and then both brothers or you can get castiel in there and every time you add somebody it's more and more money and i was like i would want the one where it's like you're one of the brothers and your dad's there and you could and so you can you can you can kind of mount it maybe put a put a filter over it and you can kind of pretend like you were born into the family and you're one of the Winchesters. And Chiz is like, oh, I'm way ahead of you.

That's the one. I'm getting that one. So Chiz is totally getting his picture taken with like, you know, Jensen Ackles and Jeffrey Dean Morgan and whoever the other guy is, you know, the main three guys. I love picturing the actors in those situations, like their morning routine, where they know they have to go play pretend with a super fan like just their face as they're riding in the elevator with their today two cups of coffee just sam dean all right hey so nice to meet you like the show like the show where we fight demons you're a 38 38-year-old man. You're a 38-year-old man. They're all 38-year-old men. To be fair, they really do seem like they like what they do. I don't know why they wouldn't. Those guys make so goddamn much money.

Yes. Wait, no, that's on CW, isn't it? Do those guys make a lot? Yes. They are multi-millionaires many, many times over. There's an episode where they break the fourth wall and they don't break the fourth wall they they go to another dimension within the show but in that dimension their characters there are exist as the tv versions of them it's like the it's like they came from their monster world into our world where they're all actors on a tv show called supernatural uh and that world, you visit one of their real homes. They're like, okay, we're going to go to the actor's home. So of course, let's just use the actor's real home.

It's like something out of a movie where you walk in and it's just super open and there's that crazy staircase that like goes just up and away. And it's just this wide open, crazy, like, you know, $10 million mansion or something like that. It's crazy. And I think his wife may have actually played his wife. She's a supermodel or some shit. wide open crazy like you know 10 million dollar mansion or something like that it's crazy um and and i think his wife may have actually played his wife she's a supermodel and their names

yeah they made a lot of money from that show yeah polish yeah yeah yeah uh yeah they make fun of it they're like he's like yeah and you were Polish. You're Polish? Yeah, they referenced it again recently in a season. They're like, yeah, remember when we went to that other universe? Yeah, you were Polish. I should watch that again. That was weird. I like that show. There's fucking 12 seasons of that.

22 episodes per season. Isn't it an hour-long show? That's 466 episodes or and like six. Yes. That's like 466 episodes or something like that. I've seen them all. Yeah. Like 20 hours of content a year. It's a lot.

Honestly, it's better. It's improving. Like the arc, it's still getting better. It seems like their, I think the show is getting more and more popular. And especially among females. I think their audience is probably like 70% female. And I think that it's doing really well they're getting good ratings and uh i don't know that seems like a great gig uh the chis would show me those pictures of the convention or whatever you

call it and it's it it's mostly 70 females as well it's just an ocean of hot chicks who are out there screaming and watching those guys talk on stage Tough life Yeah I wish I killed Imaginary monsters What's the CW you guys mentioned that twice Does it stand for something I'd recognize Oh I remember the WB The WB used to be almost

Is this racist to say It was all black shows Like it was Martin Um? It was all black shows. Hootleg. Ghetto? Martin and something else. It was all black shows. They had Martin and Queen Latifah's show and all that stuff. I just remember the Animaniacs a lot on there. Yeah, because Warner Brothers. It used to be WB.

Yeah. Yeah. That show is weird. Animaniacs is a good show. I didn't like the Animaniacs as much as most other cartoon shows. Did you? It was kind of an adult show. I watched Pinky and the Brain. I watched the Animaniacs as much as most other cartoon shows did you? I watched Pinky and the Brain, I watched the Animaniacs but I'm old enough to have watched the original Looney Tunes so I like

Speedy Gonzales and Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd I like Tweety and Sylvester I like I liked Foghorn Leghorn Foghorn Leghorn is one of my favorites. I see, I see.

Everybody knows their precious him, and none of them are any good. He'd sneak out there and paddle that dog's ass and run away. It was always... Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. Just paddle the shit out of the dog. It was great.

Yeah, he was one of my favorites. He was like some Louisiana kind of chicken or something. Yeah, he's like a cajun rooster you know who's aaron carter he was in a boy band right uh yeah oh yeah uh i want candy that was that was his song right that i remember when he was really popular. He went to the hospital for I think mental health because people were giving him a hard time about his eating disorder, which makes him thin. And there's an interesting story to me. I saw him here. Let me show you what this guy looks like.

He doesn't look yeah i want candy came out in 2000 he looks a lot different here oh shit oh i guess he's not that thin i don't know i can't tell here right the sweats no he could just be doing the next he's thin but he doesn't look bad like like he's taking so much heat from this he like voluntarily put himself in the hospital because he's too thin and people are giving him a hard time online i don't know it looks pretty buff to me if i i would trade bodies yeah his arms look great yeah we can't see his body though he probably has a fan he's just he's just draped yeah but like abs don't count if you're skinny just like tits don't count if you're fat i mean

i don't know what his body looks like at all but i don't care yeah i don't think he's that skinny either like he looks like if i saw him walking around in public unless this is some instagram magic like i'd be even a fit guy. I don't know. To me, he looks... Yeah, he might be fit. He's like that body type where it's like, oh, he could really be a drug enthusiast, or maybe he does a 5K twice a month.

Who knows? Yeah, that's... I remember the girls in my grade having crushes on this guy a long time ago. Ha! Who got the last laugh there? The multi-millionaire or me thinking about... He won.

Yeah. He won. Dollar Shave Club is the smarter choice. Get a great shave at a great price, conveniently delivered right to your door. It's an amazing life hack and a no-brainer choice. You can no longer, you no longer have to schlep to the store to buy those cheap disposable razors that give you a cheap shave, or to spend a fortune on razors with gimmicky shaving technology that you just don't need.

And when I use my Dr. Sharver, when I use my Dr. Shave Club Executive Razor with their Dr. Carver Shave Butter, the blade just gently glides, giving me such a smooth shave. Their Dr. Carver Sh shave butter. The blade just gently glides, giving me such a smooth shave. Their Dr. Carver's shave butter is transparent for a more precise shave. It helps prevent ingrown hairs and fights razor bumps. So join us and make the smarter choice by joining the Dollar Shave Club. For a limited time, new members get their first month of the executive razor with a tube of their Dr. Carver's shave butter for only $5 with free shipping. After that, razors are just a few dollars per month. That's a $15 value for only $5.

In your first month's box, you're going to get an awesome weighty handle, a full cassette of four cartridges, and a tube of that Shave Butter. After your first month, replacement cartridges ship automatically at their regular price. There are no hidden fees and no commitments. You can cancel anytime you like. You can only get this offer at dollarshaveclub.com slash pka, though. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash pka. Check them out.

We're real-life customers. How much hair do you get on your penis? Because I feel like the first inch of penis on the sides has hair that grows up it. Like on the shaft itself. Like the first bottom inch, I would say. And so I always go against the grain and like like stretch them all out and like really like shave four or five times to make sure every one of those hairs is completely gone it would be like this part of my penis right the

bottom side the part that connects to the scrotum you need to just shave that down a little bit so you so you look your best i get that as well definitely definitely all that there's just any hair that's on the shaft that needs to go because i wish taylor was i feel like because i feel like like taylor's dick looks you you know what taylor's dick looks like you ever go by a pond you see those cat tails i picture that's taylor's cock it's just a hairy sausage his head up above the water while he's swimming? That's his penis. And the water is just pubes.

Hey, Taylor. Welcome back. Uh-huh. We were talking about your dick. I was telling Woody that the base of my penis, there's hair that grows up on either side, on the left and the right, and also on the bottom. For the first bottom inch, I would say there's hair coming out of the neck. And I feel like you're not getting credit for that part of the cock.

Stretch him on out and... I agree. And, like, you know, I feel like it's... The hair is growing, like, toward the penis. Toward the head of the penis. Not manscaping is just rude to potential sexual partners, I think. Like, if you're not taking care of it and keeping things neat down there it's a little bit almost disrespectful like if you got down there on a

girl and it was just bananas like just all the way up to the fucking belly button no but like i would just kind of be like you know i'm going to do this because I'm a guy. What is your preferred female thing? Totally bald? Racing stripe? All of the above, right? Both of those are fine. There's no real wrong choice. That's fine. You just don't want a full bush that's on the thighs.

The main thing is you don't want a big hairy butthole and hairy thighs and a huge triangle. And like, where's the pussy? You don't want that. You don't want the hair to literally... You want there to be an island of hair near the top or an organized thing. You don't want an archipelago of hair all over the place. Patches.

Hair's not bad. It's just too much hair is bad. Yeah. For sure. I might be unique in this. I feel like I'm out of date in this. Nowadays, all the people like bald. But I'm not a huge fan of bald.

I don't think so. I think hair's coming back. I see a lot more girls on Reddit that have hair down there that aren't completely shaven. Looks like a kid to me. That's not my cup of tea. Yeah, but you look up and you see the woman's tits

and you go, ah, an adult. It's like that guy on Sopranos. He's been in prison for like 30 fucking years. He goes, you know what the biggest difference is? Girls shaving their bushes. I went to cilio's the other day it's like the goddamn girl scouts in there yeah i don't think it's like like oh i only like shaved like i think most people like it's kind of like the same thing as kyle's you

know uh lip preferences where it's like as long as it's nothing out of control down there i'm fine you know like it's good most shit there's like a little thing on the end of either side of that bell curve where it's like oh jesus christ like that's what my pussy would look like if i were a woman or you know that's a horrible pattern or whatever but there's a huge amount of middle ground there yeah i and the other thing is like like i don't think i don't know about other men, but I don't have a preference for one kind of vaginal grooming. And if I did, it would be like, okay, well, bald is hot. Bald's really hot.

I like bald. But then all of a sudden, if it was a racing stripe, I'd be like, ooh, now there's a racing stripe. But if it had been the complete opposite of that, I'd have had the same reaction, right? At first, I'd have been like, ooh, it's a racing stripe. That's hot. But then if she shaved it off, I'd be like, ooh, and now it's a racing stripe. But if it had been the complete opposite of that, I'd have had the same reaction, right? At first, I'd have been like, ooh, it's a racing stripe. That's hot. But then if she shaved it off,

I'd be like, ooh, and now it's bald. It's like, it's pussy, right? Like, pussy's good as long as there aren't big lips. If there's a big labia, then I'm just checking the fuck out, right? I got a wall trimmer that'll fix anything you got down there. I'm going to need some forceps and some antiseptic. More gauze, some clamps. And some anti-antiseptic and some clamps and some

a scalpel more gauze there's a lot of yeah i'm gonna get a battle axe ah so much bleeding like i think it was chis who wrote me uh maybe today i don't know how this came up or what we're talking about he was like what if you had a full hard-on and then someone cut your cock off can you imagine the bleeding? And I was like, why are you sending me this? Yeah, right? I was like, why are you sending me this at 9 a.m. first of all? Like, why is it that at 6 a.m. your time,

we're talking about cutting fully engorged cocks off? But okay, I'm with you. Yeah, yeah, you bleed to death instantly, I guess. What is he doing during the day? That's a sick... If anyone I ever knew was like, hey, have you ever considered, what would it be like

if you just chalked some guy's dick off and he was fully hard? And I was like, it's 6.03 in the morning. Did he get up early? What's wrong with you? It's 6. Oh, no. Someone doesn't wake up early

and then engage in conversation like that. That's feverish thought processes. He typed that out at 4.15 in the morning and goes, no, no, no, no, no, that's weird, that's weird, that's weird. I gotta wait until 6. I think he's on a different sleep schedule that probably rotates a little bit. Right now, mine's pretty solid.

I went to sleep last night at maybe 12.30, midnight plus 30, if that makes sense. And today I woke up at 8.30 a.m. or something, and I've been up ever since doing stuff. That's why I was up to, like, get Chiz's bizarre cock-cutting Skype messages. I got up too early today.

I went flying. But normally I'm up at 7 or 8, not 6. Yeah, better too early than too late. Like, I like the feeling of it coming around to, like, 11.30 in the morning or something and being like oh all right like i've got a lot of shit done it doesn't even say sometimes you get up at like five or something and you do a fun activity and then it seems like four hours into your day you have a breakfast and then like by the time lunch rolls around you've

had a whole day and you have a whole day in front of you and that feels really neat uh sometimes getting up early is awesome like that but then there's other times like today where 2 p.m rolls around and you're like i could really use a nap i got a lot you know late night tonight happens both ways yeah i'm glad you're getting you were saying that you're not feeling any better mentally like with your sleep schedule on track like you're not noticing anything at all no no like that doesn't bother me at all like like even when my sleep schedule is crazy fucked it's like and i like wake up fully rested and i yawn and look at my phone and it's 2 a.m you know and i just have woken up from eight hours of solid sleep i'm like oh huh well this will be an interesting day like it'll be 10 a.m and i'll sleep i'm like oh well this will be an interesting day like it'll be 10 a.m and i'll have already put a day's work right like like you know sometimes i just get up and go with it

yeah sometimes like i just get up and go with it if i wake up at like 3 a.m and it's and it's the day that has a negative effect on my mental health like if i because i've done that lifestyle where like whatever all my days are 25 hours long. And then, whatever, like 10 days into it, you're, like, opposite the world. And I spend too much time in darkness and not getting good sleep because it's daytime. I think I would like being a vampire. I really do. I think being a vampire is one of the coolest monsters to be,

and it comes with lots of powers. The downside isn't all that bad when you consider you can just... Why would you want to be a gay vampire? I feel like they're all gay, right? Nah. I don't... Oh. I always look at vampires the same way I look at the elves of Lorien and stuff, where I'm like, none of you are really straight. you're all fucking each other you're all really good looking

you got that nice porcelain elvish skin like you're going into that hollowed out fucking tree trunk and giving hell to gladriel every night guarantee it you know i bet she's i bet she's like a fucking snare drum even though she's six thousand years old you know and nobody's nobody's laying it took a lad real over there she's just sitting there like they just keep no i mean she just like after after every single little thing she sneaks off into the courtyard dips her her rear end in that that mystical pool just it's uh it's like uh tightening yeah i'll never tell you know she's doing that yeah yeah if there was no the vampires all right so you're a vampire you live forever that's cool

right and like like have you seen true blood because i like that kind of i have not no it's pretty good it's hbo um it's uh there's there's it's it's basically a lot of hot dudes and a lot of hot girls and they exist in a world where this whole time there have been vampires and werewolves and witches and stuff, and nobody's ever known about it. But the huge event that has taken place, this Japanese company came up with a way to make artificial blood. They have duplicated human blood for the medical field, But when the vampire hierarchy that exists with great power, right? Like the, they have like,

they've had like hundreds of years to get shit done. Right. And become incredibly wealthy and establish themselves in governments. And they have their own like governments in the United States and across the world. There is a King of Alabama and a King of Louisiana and so on and so forth in the vampire world. So the Japanese company comes up with this artificial blood,

and the vampire hierarchy votes, and they're like, yeah, let's come out of the coffin. And that's what they call it, instead of coming out of the closet. I got it, yeah. So they had millennia to come up with something, and that's what they got. Okay. So they come out of the closet, and of course there are some vampires who see humans as nothing but vermin and food,

and these are the the things that persecuted us throughout the millennia and then others think that they can have like a symbiotic relationship and then others see humans as equals and you and you get to like kind of live in that world and see what that's like and then one of the main characters is like this old southern gentleman who like fought in the civil war and like tried to return home to his family but never made it he's like this lost soul and then you got sookie uh who's just you know anna paquin and she's super hot she gets topless a lot and everybody gets topless a lot lots of titties lots of man ass um all of the men in the

show are like i don't know like like perfect specimens because they get them naked constantly everybody's always naked everybody's always like ripping throats out. It's a good show. I like it. It's HBO. I think they've got good actors. Your fitness would be on point if you had that long to get it under control, you'd think. I didn't bring up... I waited until Woody was gone to bring it up because he would go on and on about that guy who plays Jason Stackhouse and how good

his physique is. Jason Stackhouse. He'll come back and let's talk about True Blood a little more and I guarantee he he the conversation leads to just how fit the guy who plays jason stackhouse is all the time oh his abs they're just so good played by ryan quentin yeah let's see let's see how let's see how good of shape this guy's in oh wow he's 40 yeah he's an excellent shape for a 40 year old yeah well he wasn't you know this show is like probably 10 years 15 years old now um and the show he's kind of like the playboy he's always sleeping around and like fucking all of the like trailer trailer

park trash and then he'll mess up and like fuck a panther woman or something or uh get some weird std that turns into a monster or something it's a good show i like it interesting so so you think he'll bring up ryan quentin or whatever his uh derivation of that name is yeah oh yeah yeah jason but but yeah being a vampire especially that kind of vampire sounds great like they've got this like jedi mind trick they can do where they're like you want to suck my cock and the lady just wants to suck his cock. And so they never do that, of course, because that'd be just too rapey and you couldn't get on board with the vampires after that.

But then what they will do is be like, you don't remember any of this shit that just happened. Now go. And that'll happen regularly. Now go. See, that's like, that's like if you found someone like in one of those movies, like Clockstoppers,

you fucking remember that movie from like 20 years ago? Clockstoppers. Like where you could hit it and you'd stop time or something really slow or like any power that you find where someone can stop time, like similar to this vampire one. Even if they say swearing up and down, like, oh no, I'd never use my vampire power

to get some sexy girl to blow me right when we meet. Oh no, I've never used my time-stopping power to get a big old handful of titties at a gas station or something, just on a whim, and it's like, you just know those people have. You know? Oh, yeah. Like, you'd have to look at them differently. Like, oh, you're a time-traveling superpower X-Man?

Then you are, I'm going to bet a million dollars that you are either a rapist or a very successful bank robber that's what i would do or both but yeah super bank robbing rapist that show sounds pretty cool yeah we were talking about true blood yeah um i like anything hbo has made but true blood was great you've got titties everybody's uh everybody's in great shape every time somebody gets naked the main character female and i like the vampires i was saying i'd like to anna paquin who plays uh stookie sack i always thought sookie she was a little chubby not at all she's a little thick a little thick no rolls on that like she gets fully naked man

she strips down um you know it's just the shape of her body, but she's definitely not... By Hollywood standards. She's Hollywood chubby. I didn't think. Really? I didn't think by any standards. No. Oh, no, this girl's not hot.

Or not hot. This girl's not fat, sorry. This girl is not fat at all. She was attractive in that first X-Men movie. She was, yeah. I was wondering if you remember that. Yeah. I don't like that little gap in her teeth.

Are you sure her name is Sookie? But otherwise, she's smoking. Sookie. I'm positive her name is Sookie. Yeah, she's... The one downside is she looks like she flosses with a wallet chain. Yeah.

She's a real cutie. Yeah, I don't think She's a real cutie. Yeah, I don't think HBO's It really made anything I didn't like. I'm trying to think. Because Sookie's not coming up with anything. Anna Paquin. A-N-A-P-A-Q-U-I-N, if I'm guessing. Close enough. Let's look.

I'm not seeing fat here but i'm also not seeing like bones i don't see her ribs well enough she doesn't look emaciated here i like them to look hungry here you tell me does that look hot to you like does that look hot to you like yeah yeah i really i like that yeah yeah it's pretty great and you gotta keep in mind the blood in her mouth but yeah you gotta keep in mind this is in fairy land and she just like drank some blood to like rejuvenate herself after dying or something yeah well i approve yeah it's pretty hot i think she's she's very good looking i mean those aren't like the best titties in the world, but she's got small boobs. Oh.

Different strokes. Yep. I always thought she was hot by regular person standards, but not by Hollywood standards. All right, brace yourself for this, because I chalk it up to one of the most surprising news stories. I had this one too. Turns out, turns out, I think the third highest ranking guy,

or not number three for real, but in the third echelon of power or whatever in the Catholic Church, the number one ranking, Aussie, Catholic, over there in Australia, riping them, dingoing their babies, so to speak. You know, but yeah, I didn't see this coming. A Catholic cardinal? Were they young boys by chance?

Yes. You don't say. I've been led to believe. Did it happen for like decades and the whole church looked the other way? Yep. Well, it says that Cardinal George Pell, the most senior church official to be implicated in a far-flung scandal of decades standing, said Thursday that he would return to his native Australia

to face the charges against him. He dismissed the charges as, quote, relentless character assassination, end quote. Ah, that's always with that character assassination. He's 76 now, so we can just let it all yeah go by he's not raping boys anymore probably with that gray-haired flaccid bullshit those prime rape boy raping years nah no statute of limitations on the little boys like i can't do that yeah i don't think the boy raping starts stops at any age i

think they just get some viagra and keep going with their boy raping and they may not need a penis to do their boy raping it seems like a lot of these priests are so fucked up and hung up they're always like sticking objects in the boys asses and stuff right like they can't even like do some normal molestation like the rest of us they're always sticking crucifixes up 14 year olds like the rest of us i don't make them sayixes up 14 year olds butts making them say Hail Mary's while they like assume I rape boys the way you do I've got my own style

and you're being a little judgy we just went through this yeah backhand forehand whatever it's not great not good story for the Catholic Church like it seems like all these stories have like, like maybe it's cause I wasn't looking for it.

So that kind of bias of like, you know, confirming what you're not looking for. But I feel like I haven't heard a lot of like rapey priest stories in a while. And this is a big one. And it's like, like to Kyle's point saying that they'll continue to do this,

the older they get, it seems almost like if you've done this for like 20 years or something, you know, if he did this from like like 20 years or something you know if he did this from like 30 to 50 or something i have no idea like by the time he's 50 he feels like an invincible god who could just do whatever he wants he's like are you kidding me i could i could steal one of these kids and sell them to china if i wanted to and the guy'd be fucking fine because i got the biggest organization on the planet behind me. That seems like that's kind of a thing. I don't know.

Religious leaders like that high up in anything. It seems like they're always more apt to be abusing children. Yeah, religious leaders get praised and worshipped almost like they are the god. That'll mess with you. You know, I just thought of something. It seems like whenever someone has tons of power and money, they always go teach fucking children. What is it about fucking children that's so great? That's what I want to...

It's like whenever you get enough money and enough power, there's a few things those people get, right? Big yacht, sports car, like supermodel wife. And a little boy too. And a little boy to fuck. Like little girls, not good, I guess. There must be something great. Like, little girls, not good, I guess. Well, I think that you would damage the little girl,

where the boy is much hardier. I feel like maybe a 14-year-old boy's ass is not only tight and supple, but resilient. This certainly isn't the reason. They are if things have been going properly, yes. See, like... At the archdiocese they're they're more than worn out they've been thrown away to the meat pits by then it makes you wonder like what people in high levels of like politics and other power structures like that are doing this same kind of

shit you know because you know it's not a clean thing right everywhere with all that with all that child molestation well it seemed like their parliament had a huge child molestation scandal and there was all this talk of children being murdered and disappeared and stuff. I didn't hear about that. Like a big conspiracy. Oh, the news, boys. We had the one.

I don't know. I'm trying to think. It has turned out yet. We haven't gotten to the bottom of that comet pizza thing. I'm trying to think. Oh, it has no reason. It has no reason. It has no reason. It has no reason. It has no reason. It has no reason.

It has no reason. It has no reason. It has no reason. It has no reason. It has no reason. It has no reason. Yeah, we haven't gotten to the bottom of that comet pizza thing yet. They sentenced that guy recently.

Just because that one ridiculous thing. Yeah, I don't think the pizza thing is happening, but even so, there's got to be stuff up there, like a couple creeps. What if that comet pizza place, there's a whole, it's just like a Breaking Bad. They didn't pull the right book back's just like a breaking bad you pull back that pizza machine rolls to the side and and it's just like that scene in indiana jones and the temple of doom with all the children working in those caves like toiling away and the guys like whipping them and stuff like what if that's going on right now under that comet pizza place dude if it if it comes out like 10 years from now or something, that there's something was going

on down there, it would be like an actual movie plot where like halfway through when you think it's about to get solved, the cop goes in and like he thinks he hears a scratching of the little Taiwanese girl's fingernails on the floorboards as she's trying to, no more pizza please. An overweight Brad Pitt plays

Alex Jones. And then he walks out and they find out later. He's like the hero of the thing. Yes. That's fucking perfect. 47 years I told him the truth. This is my story. And you'll see that

everyone was disparaging me saying it was not true because I was the only one sticking out for these children down there in that basement. Their asses torn apart for decades. Coming this fall, Alex Jones stars in Jones in for the truth. The tagline, making the frogs gay.

Did you see that? You know? Oh, you know what I learned about that frog thing? No, no, this frog thing, this isn't Alex Jones' stupid ship. This is actual science about fluoride and frogs. There is something with frogs that when they come into contact with fluoride, it can make it so they don't only get, it'll turn a male frog into a female frog, like a fertile female frog it's

a crazy kind of like metamorphosis thing no no but the fluoride triggers it they fluoride triggers this yeah there are some animals that do that but like this uh is something that like fluoride triggers it so it's not making the frogs gay it's you know it's an action that happens with fluoride on frogs i when i learned about that or read it i was like no that's that actually is kind of neat connection i've only heard that dismissed as a conspiracy but if they lack that one like if there's two males one will turn female there's two females one will turn male okay there's a real well life uh clownfish like the fighting nemo i know that those fish do it too i used to keep them yeah yeah yeah lots of

animals change gender spontaneously if need be and produce asexually uh yeah boring right yeah it's time to have a kid yeah well no because you wouldn't know any better but what if you did what if we were asexual like like with like a wet dream you just wake up oh fuck i'm pregnant now fuck i knocked myself up i warned you i warned you to wear your semen cup

no what you do every night semen tampon to prevent uh pregnancy or something no i was yeah uh like a diaphragm that you shove up your belly button really hard i'm picturing more like a starfish where like when you decided you wanted to procreate you just like tear one arm off throw it in the corner and like three days later you've got new arm and there's a new you know little baby body growing out of your adult arm kind Kind of like, what was it? Not Daredevil. Fucking Ryan Reynolds. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Deadpool. Deadpool. Yeah. Did you see that angry racist teacher who lost her job? She was on Tucker Carlson. So here I have a video link coming. She lost her of a video, although Tucker is not the bad guy.

I think I may have phrased it such. She, in my mind, is the bad guy. And they took her like 10 minute interview and condensed it. So she wasn't crazy the whole time, but she definitely had some crazy in her. Let's watch it together. It's a minute long you guys ready ready set play yep look at tuck face yeah tuck face is hilarious Yeah! Yeah! Publicly lynched her

so oh that's the best bit so oh that's the best bit and he's like trailing so it's worth noting like i i feel like sometimes they paint college this is a community college um i don't even know what it takes to teach there do you have to finish college to teach at a community college i I'm not sure. I don't think so. Really? Oh, yeah. A lot of the teachers are teaching a trade, right? They might be certified welders to teach at a community college

and stuff like that. Oh, my God. No, she's a professional complainer. You can tell by the way she talks. Yeah, she's not a welder. Racism and bigotry right now is like an industry. And so there are companies out there that are like hey you know the al sharpton race uh huckster thing where it's like

hey it would be a real shame if a bunch of people said your company was real racist but guess what for a mere six hundred thousand dollars i will come and do a diversity training course one afternoon and then no one's gonna think you're racist because I won't pit people on you and blackmail you tacitly. It's an industry. And so if you make somebody's job, your job is to talk about how oppressed and how awful things are. They are going to see it in everything. She was holding a party that didn't allow white people. Because they have to see it in everything because the admission that, hey, yeah, under the law, everybody's equal.

She straight up excluded white people from her party. Really? Yeah. The right and wrong thing. You flip it and see if it's okay if you said no black people at my party well shucks that's obviously not okay right and you just flip it she says no white people she got fired um yeah it's just divisive for no reason or actually no it's divisive for a very specific reason because her entire grievance industry is contingent on conflict and difficulty between different groups of races and genders and so she wants that yeah i wouldn't want to go to her fucking party you think she's fun at parties good no no all those people are going to show up and be like you know what like uh this sucks i wouldn't think cool people would go anyway because they'd be like, oh, they're having an all-black

party. This is kind of like going back in time. You realize that, right? We're resegregating optionally. What the fuck? Somehow. Harvard had an all-black graduation. Do you think that she votes Republican or Democrat?

Everybody knows she works at university so the democrats right now they're the island of misfit toys one of them you know like i was saying on pkn recently they picture a guy with gauge earrings and black lipstick which way does he vote right like if it's a fucking misfit toy like that woman is they vote democrat now there are good people who are democrats too but but their branding to me is aid skill wreck carl the cuck that racist university professor like that to me it is yeah identify as their weirdness right like whereas there's plenty of people there's plenty plenty of gay, transsexual Americans, Americans who fit into a number of different categories, but they care about taxes or immigration

or border control or something like that. And to them, it's gotta be really insulting, the sort of identity politics. I know that if I ever saw a guy who I thought was pandering toward the white vote um i i would i would catch on to that i think pretty quickly right like uh it's not like donald trump would just become president i wasn't gonna mention him yeah like he like the whole forgotten man and woman you know yeah all those uh factory workers in michigan and wisconsin and such

the latinos and asians who live up there it's it's like really it's annoying latinos you're both totally right how it's like if you have anything any quality about you that isn't straight white male then you are then your entire value is relegated to that quality. So you're not, it's like when that cop saved the Republican who got shot by that, whatever his name was, you know? They're like, they didn't say two heroes or whatever, you know, Steve and Susan or whatever. It was black lesbian cop saves Scalise or whatever. And it's like, even in your own title,

you guys are turning this person into not a person she's a nice handy little token for you to put in there it's like don't you see how this is like paternalistic and shitty like yeah like you could have posted a picture of her if you ever talk to someone and the first thing they bring up is like their sexual preferences like good god you're not you're not an interesting person at all like we all have sexual preferences it's it's like number one on like be a living thing you gotta fuck like that's number one if you don't go past layer two of reality and like everything you have is just a a tendril off of who you're attracted to it's like i don't know it's just it's like you don't want to foster any interesting hobbies or fun personality traits so it's easier to just be abrasive and and hide behind an identity

and they're they're a lot of people do that but to my point is more people don't do that than do that and those people who don't do it are getting outshined by the people who do there are way more gay people out there who are who care way more about other shit than just being gay like they're they're people who like to fuck the same sex like that's that's it that's the extent where their similarities end but not to some people to some people oh you like penis you like penis and you're both men you must just be the same you know oh you're a republican who likes penis off off the plantation you know like that that kind of thing it's it's annoying to watch so you went on a work trip yeah i agree with you on the identity politics and you went on a trip you did your work and then

you went back yeah that's a sucky trip according to me that was how i i know people it is who are good at work trips and when i say good like they'd come back like oh here's me water skiing behind a yacht i caught a foul ball on a mariner's game i'm like really like my work trips are not like that at all they just suck they're like they're long days with travel mixed in and and i'm flying coach at work typically i i everything about it sucked and i i always admired the guys who whose highlight was something more than going to barnes and noble like yeah that's that was that's so fucking funny you said the barnes and noble thing because uh i was in i was in the o'hare airport as we were like about to leave and i was like oh a bookstore maybe i'll see something that i like and i walked in and i'm

like well i don't want to read the last 30 years of dan patterson and so no thank you and i just left or the da vinci cone that's an airport mainstay you know i don't want to read the last 30 years of Dan Patterson, and so no thank you. And I just left. Or the Da Vinci Cone. That's an airport mainstay. I don't know why, but that thing is in every airport. Dan Brown, he's in all the airports. But yeah, that's how I like doing work trips, though. I don't want to catch a Mariners game fly ball or something.

I would maybe go to a Blackhawks game, because I was in Chicago. If there was one at the time, that would be neat. But the best thing I want to do when I'm out of town is get because i left you know in the morning and then i was home but i was able to check into my return flight before i boarded on my exit my leaving flight that's how soon the trip was like it was just get there go to the hotel they're like oh you free upgrade to the fucking uh king suite or. It's like, oh, great. Then I'll sleep in the same bed. This is not the time for an upgrade. Thanks.

And then did that. Leave the next morning and back at the airport. I just want to get home. You have a relationship with somebody you work with, right? Like, Taylor, we have a client. At the end of this trip, that client better fucking love you, right? And you're like, ah, awesome. Give you two tickets to a blackhawks game

i don't know why i chose blackhawks that seems like a mistake yeah if that were it yeah well no like if i just because i said chicago because where i was that's what it would be but like not just if that was the task like entertain this person and kind of woo them into a sale or something it's the what the what is you know make it so that when this guy hears you're on the project he's always happy to hear your name right sometimes things like that happen you get i've had trips like that you know like all right she moves this guy when he hears what he's on the cat on the task he should think oh fucking yeah you know that that yeah that's what you want to be you want to be the guy that like when they hear you know

a rep is coming for something they're like oh fucking right that guy you know taylor the impaler he's a maniac you know like or whatever why do you insist we call him that i don't know why you got like watches and mini flasks yeah i don't know. I just got back from the park. I'd be so sweaty. But I'd work with guys. And if they said Woody Shreveler, too often I'd suck at it. It'd be like a work meeting or something. Or we'd go over all our goals and make sure that we have common goals and whatever.

But I always liked the guys who just freaking bought tickets to here. And like, how was your work trip? Oh, it was cool work trip? Oh, it was cool. We went go-kart racing, horseback riding, scuba diving. Like really?

Fuck. I went for training, you know, like, how did you do that? But some people, they're just good at business travel. My. Yeah.

The way my dad would do it, like when he had to do sales shit, when I was a younger, I guess when I lived at home as a kid, like he would do it like when he had to do sales shit when i was a younger i guess when i lived at home as a kid like he would do trips where he'd be like i'm flying to fucking cincinnati at 8 a.m and i'll be getting on my return flight at 2 45 p.m or something and it's like where it was basically just like get off and then just like have like a stressful panic attack all the way to a meeting and they'd be like all right i'm here and then you do it and you panic attack back to that thing like yeah i i had a lot of um consultants come to me who had days like that they'd have flights in the morning and night and

we'd work during the day and uh yeah it was always mixed because these consultants i would work with one they made more money than me right you know they had to fly everywhere or whatever but it seemed like their apartments were shit they just had like a whatever you know 500 square foot one bedroom apartment back in maine or something because that's not where they lived they lived on the road that was just where like they kept their stuff and but their life you know like they would literally get texts and this is i think a commercial but it was like, fresh Popo in Utah. You down? I didn't even know what Popo was at the time. Popo is powder, the delightful snow that you can ski on.

And this guy would be like, yeah, I'm in. And he'd literally be like, all right, yeah, so I'm not going to work Friday. We're just going to do a four-day week this time, doing a three-day weekend in Utah. And for him, he didn't pay for the flight he made a lot of money and he would just like it seemed like every weekend yeah he was living it right like he wasn't stressing himself out like that's the thing you see with like uh a lot of comedians and stuff just as an example of like when they go on tour, like Bill Burr,

I haven't listened to Bill Burr's podcast in a while, but like when he goes on tour to like Sweden or something, like on his podcast, he'd always come back and be like, yeah, and one of the nights I went out and I saw this like Swedish show and it was really cool to like see. And then I went to a restaurant, I tried something new and then I did this and that.

And then you'll hear other people be like, oh yeah, i went to you know germany and just stayed in my room the whole time and it's like well life's kind of what you make it like in in a lot of ways and when you're traveling like i totally empathize and understand that i just want to fucking get home but if you're gonna be somewhere for a day or two like you're just doing yourself a disservice unless i had a weekend in the marriott and i was always that disservice guy you know like if i had a weekend like i've gone to mexico and done like cool shit for the weekends but um by and large like if i had a monday through friday trip every night was me going back to the

hotel watching dumbass tv using their internet like something shitty i i it's always easier in the moment when you're not in that moment to be like yeah next time i'm gonna go and i'm gonna be uh the bell of the ball i'm gonna go to a bunch of parties and do fun things and ride a rodeo ball or something but then when you get back from all the work you did that day and you're like oh i don't have nearly as much energy as that 9 a.m when i wasn't busy on a saturday three weeks ago and i made these plans like horseback riding on the thing this is in santa barbara like in california and then i was like next time i have a trip out there i'm gonna schedule horseback

riding so i get out there and it's like really like do you feel like getting up at six tomorrow do you because that's when it happens early and or you could sleep in and do nothing and be a bum and recharge and that lazy urge would sometimes be too strong it would override the horseback riding adventure but i've never or i've ridden a horse once i'm not a horse person or anything like but we used to go to vacations on dude ranches up in upstate new york all the time and the horseback riding like i loved it as a kid it was something i got really really excited about and like we i guess once or twice i think twice a day we got to ride horses but if you hung out and like waited for empty slots like

someone who didn't take their opportunity you could ride more than that and you know i would do it like whatever like so when i had a choice i would always do the galloping tours but uh i'd take any open one like what that fucker only wants to trot fine beats not trotting so yeah i i assume i can still ride a horse. Hell, I haven't done it for so long. I didn't know what I was doing at the time. It was more of just like a... It was just a very mellow old horse, I'm pretty sure, where it was like, even if this butt thing freaks out,

it's not going to be too horrible on him. I was only like maybe 10 when that happened. But yeah, I don't know. I wasn't enthused. And it was coming off my adrenaline was already so high because i just won the sheep riding contest as a kid at the rodeo there's a lifetime accomplishment yeah yeah i won the uh i won it but you're an award-winning sheep rider the adults were riding bulls and so i won five dollars yeah i won uh i me and a bunch of all the other kids

we're at a uh i don't i don't remember it might have been like the cape girardo fair or something in southern missouri where uh cape girardo where gone girl is filmed like around that area and i like my grandparents entered me in in the uh the sheep riding contest how old were you and i was like this is gonna be a fucking blast because at that age like nine you have a puberty edge at that age like i gotta say i'm picturing you there fully bearded no a bunch no no i wasn't 11 i was like but somewhere between 8 and 10 but at that age i was still i was bigger than most kids just kind of taller and i was like i'm gonna and it was like the age bracket

was like fucking like 6 to 11 or something so it was like on the higher end of that like 8 9 or 10 or something and and i got on there and i would watch the kid before me because they didn't use the same sheep every time because that the sheep would get exhausted obviously it's just a fucking sheep and so the guy before me took his sheep and it just went like you know all you're supposed to do is latch on you know like you're a tick like dig your hands into that thick wool and latch on and then they let the sheep go and that you know that ah. I didn't know that's what they sounded like. If you haven't heard a sheep up close, you probably think they say bah.

No, they go, ah, ah. Like they're all hungover, about to vomit is what they sound like. And this sheep was so lackadaisical. It just kind of trotted around, making a lot of noise. And I was like, oh, in the bag. Eventually, the kid just kind of like toppled off. I got a sheep and I could hear my sheep coming because I'm pretty sure they're like,

all right, this kid's bigger than most of the other kids. Let's give him, you know, old softy over there. They ironically named, who knows. And this thing came out and like, I didn't know that sheeps bucked, but I got on there and this thing started freaking the fuck out. It was not, it did not consent

to being a member of the sheep riding competition and I I rode it for as long as I could and eventually it kind of became clear that like my weight was really doing a number on the the exhaustion of the sheep until eventually it was like you know one of the radio rodeo clowns had to come over like at the end of a roller coaster almost when like the sheep had given it's all and i was still latched on he's like all right buddy you're good and then they uh they called me up at the end with the uh the second place person and they're like taylor you win a blue ribbon for riding the sheep the longest and five dollars and i got five dollars and my new cowboy digs on. I looked great. And then I was riding that high

and then I went back out and some, albeit cute, like 11-year-old girl or something was like, you want to ride my horse with me? And I was like, yeah, I want to ride your horse with you.

And so I hopped up there and that's all that we did. She just trotted the horse around and then I got around and I'm like, all right, I'm going to go spend my $5 horse around and then I got around and I'm like, all right, all right. I'm going to go spend my $5.

You know, I, I gotta ask, like, how did you not, how did the Taylor trajectory not end in rodeo? You were prodigy. It seems like you had this formative time at like 11 where, where you're the hero of the crowd and you get the girl and ride away into the sunset on a goddamn horse. And yet you are not standing there today wearing a goddamn cowboy hat and spurs i bet my grandpa guaranteed straight like amarillo by morning like you should be singing in fucking bars like what's going on here

my grandpa definitely like if i would have taken that he would have been the only person in my life if i said when i grow up, I want to be a professional bull rider. He would be the one who's like, Taylor, don't you listen to any of those people in St. Louis, town. You can't come down here and do what you want with your life. You ride those bulls. You have fun. I'll see you on TV. I always watch PBR.

And it's like, that's... He fucking loves professional bull riding. Have you ever seen Urban Cowboy with John Travolta? No, I haven't. Movie, I guess? Urban Cowboy with John Travolta? No, I haven't. Movie, I guess? Urban Cowboy with John Travolta. Yeah, it's a movie. It's a movie. It's about this like, he's not exactly a city slicker, but he's not really a, he's an urban

cowboy. And what they do is they ride a mechanical bull and the stakes are high. Right? Right? Like, and he's like, he's John Travolta at like his prime. Like he's, he's after Saturday Night Fever but he's just like super good looking and he rides the the horse and it like I could I'm shocked that you're the mechanical bull I'm shocked that you didn't take that trajectory because it seems like I'm thinking

like if I'm 11 and that happens to me I win the rodeo I win the sheep ride I get the girl my first question is like how big how old do I have to be before i get to ride you know a a steer and then how old do i have to be before i can actually get on the bull with the big guys you know because i would have seen yeah but like i i got to see like maybe half an hour after i finished up riding my my sheep i got to see the adults have fun with the bulls and he was like oh well not they are until you see somebody get fucked up i mean you've already conquered a sheep what chances a bull have i would be thinking if i saw that i'd be like yeah you're like i'm talk dog over here and sheep riding like like i'm imagining that that man being stomped to death over there would

probably be a shit sheep rider. I bet back in the day he was the one laying in the sheep shit over there crying with the brown ribbon. The more you talk about this, the more I think I miss my calling. Dude, I bet you get so much cowgirl pussy. I bet they're fit too. That's totally a thing. Tight jeans. For real.

Oh. I've been to a couple. They are fit. And they've got these really tight jeans. I've been to a couple rodeos. It's not really my thing. And they like to shoot. But I've been taken to them.

And it's a good show. You see somebody get hurt. I've never seen somebody get hurt badly. But you see somebody get their butt whooped, basically. The thing kicks them a couple times. Maybe tramples them a little. I went to some rodeos as a kid. They get out of there.

It's a fun show. But there's always the risk that somebody's going the risk. It's kind of like drag racing. You go out. And I think if they went too early, the red light came on. And the announcer was like, that guy is so country. Sometimes he leaves early just to see lights. And I believed it. I was like, oh, really?

He must live a whole different life than life thoughts tell to me. If he thinks the red light is cool, what is this guy's existence like my imagination was getting set fire that's funny though that that's funny though that you had the announcer like normal comedy and into the mix of the show i i i like stuff like that that i've ever been to a tractor pull i know that sounds like the lamest thing ever but it's actually kind of interesting to see. They hook tractors up to these big sleds that are meant not to be pulled. And it's kind of like World's Strongest Man when the guys pick up a Volkswagen and see how far they can go with it. But it's these guys in their souped up tractors pulling a big sled that's not meant to be pulled.

Yeah, there's different tiers of this shit, like everything is. I was like, pumpkin chunking? Like just something ridiculous that people do for the fuck good. They have huge budgets on these tractors. The tractors will have like two or four $25,000 engines. Corporate sponsorships. They're like dragster engines, like top fuel. Yeah, just stacked in a row.

Multi-tractor engines. With flames shooting out of them. Yeah. And sometimes they come apart and the whole engine jumps out jumps out of the goddamn thing and what they're pulling is i i want to call it like a tractor trailers trailer and uh there's a lot of weight on it and that weight slides forward so it kind of digs into the dirt more as they pull it along. And I don't understand what makes it good. I mean, like they're obviously their tires are slipping, but they don't want full traction. They want rotating tires.

And anyway, the whole it. I appreciate well done machinery. And these things are a modern marvel. What goes into this tractor pulling stuff is amazing. I'm just like, holy, you guys have been working on this all this time? This is incredible. It's incredible. Yeah, I admire that part of things like that.

In the same way that I like Junkyard Wars back in the day. It's interesting to see a machine do its thing. And especially when its thing is so fucking crazy and useless. They're just farmer dragsters, basically. basically ridiculous like it is there to be ridiculous oh no yeah it's not like you could ever form a field with these things like these things are made for one purpose and it's putting on a show just pull it and burn out there are so many like machines like that that that as humans we make just for fuckery right like i saw that english guy who's got that iron man suit he built he's basically got jet

engines on his hands and he's just like he's going 30 miles an hour flying around a field and like landing at will and it looks it looks like tactical i guess it's black and it has like shoulder pads and shit and they were calling it an iron man suit but then I think about those guys in Dubai who were jetting around I I saw that this kind of leads me to my my next little topic and it's about like I wonder if like the if there are intelligent aliens out there like did they engage in this kind of fuckery like is this a thing that's unique to the mammalian brain on this planet is this a thing that's unique to just the primate brain on this planet is this a thing that's unique to the mammalian brain on this planet? Is this a thing that's unique to just the primate brain

on this planet? Is this a thing that's unique to just the homo sapien? I hope they do engage in fuckery and that's how they find us. And this trial and this thing They don't come in these giant spaceships

from Independence Day. There you go, yeah. It's just a couple of space surfers zipping around on their little boards like finding Earth. Dude, I told you not to put that much kryptonite in there you shot us all the way to the milky way fuck if they were like a super advanced civilization

and like some paper boy like got off course and showed up in his like hovercraft like if i were that paper boy and i noticed a civilization that I knew I could dupe, I would just go down there and be like, I've come to speak with your leaders. And anybody on that guy's home planet are like, they're talking to fucking Marvin? Are you kidding me? Marvin? He's the paper boy loser. He can't even

do calculus in his head. If you think about it, that scenario I would do that. If you think about it you could just i would do that if you think about it that scenario makes a lot more sense uh to explain jesus christ than him you know actually being a magical baby that god himself created right that it was some paper boy who crash landed here and was like oh well yeah water to wine whatever but but like i if you could get me out of here that'd be great i really want to go back to my dad uh well he's he's god he kind of created everything that's how you'd think of him he that'd be great. I really want to go back to my dad. Well, he's God. He kind of created everything.

That's how you'd think of him. He's in the sky. I got to get back to him, though. That's my point. Well, yeah, you guys just get along with each other. Why are you always fighting? Peace, love, harmony. Like, this isn't hard.

Come on, guys. But really, I want to go back to my father. And then they fucking nail him up the cross. What the fuck have I got myself into? Like, maybe that's what happened. What did they think I said? I told you not to kill me. These people are furious.

I saw the anonymous. It was reported. Someone said WikiLeaks said, but I don't think that's true. When WikiLeaks said something, I believe it more aptly than I would if Fox News said it. I don't think WikiLeaks is in the the habit of releasing fake stories are they like has that ever happened that like wikileaks said a thing and it came out that no that's a fabrication or a false or falsehood like that doesn't happen so when wikileaks says something i kind of believe it but this was anonymous anonymous claims that they have hacked

information that proves that nasa um is aware of the existence of extraterrestrial life. So that was the story that came out yesterday, I think it was. I don't buy that. Flat, like period, after what I said. And, you know, that leads me to have that whole conversation. Oh, did they find one single fossilized cell in a rock that, you know, from somewhere? Or did they find, like, the correct amino acid signature? Or did they find, like,

a silicon life form that's like nothing that would even exist on our planet? Or a radio wave? Did they find, like, a binary signal from another fucking world that can be decoded and read and interpreted in some way? Like, all of those things would be interesting. I don't think that's... I don't think NASA would hire Life in Space

just because their thing is always like, we can't even afford to build another $2 billion rocket. We need your money. And all they'd have to release would be like, hey, fucking space lizards, who's going to become a Patreon? And then they'd be to release would be like, hey, fucking space lizards. Who's going to become a Patreon? And then they'd be like, oh, yeah, well, I guess I'll give my fucking $5 a month as long as I get exclusive space lizard pics.

That's exactly what would happen. That would be their best move ever, is if they revealed there was life, suddenly everybody in the world, for the most part, would be on board with like, all right, well, let's spend a little more money and see what this is, you know i i would definitely so so i think it would change my my out view my point of view on a lot of things they would prove what i believe because i believe

that there is life i don't believe there's necessarily intelligent life that's ever been here and i i because of the vast distances and it's not something that i've come up with it's just like that's what all the smart people say right um so i don't know about that but they're almost like there could totally be some sort of like fishes or tadpoles swimming around in one of those warm oceans that exist in our own i feel like there has to be life you know right there's just so many planets so many suns so much space there's got to be life out there there's probably intelligent life out there i just feel like if there's a one in a million chance of a planet sustaining intelligent life, well, there's millions and millions of planets, so there's intelligent life.

Yeah, but I'm with Kyle, too, where he says, I don't think intelligent life has come to visit us. And I agree with that. And vice versa, yeah. It's just, although, you know think about like how quickly we've advanced you know like like traveling from one continent to another not not very long ago was that was also probably thought of the same way if you told if you told some guy in the year 80 who just built the coliseum this incredible thing that like yeah um we need you to to cross that ocean no no no not that little

pond you call the mediterranean the atlantic you gotta cross the atlantic and you gotta go over there to another no that's no one will ever cross the great ocean you know like like maybe it's just a matter of um a couple more hundred yeah i i look right now and think man the people 500 years ago missed a lot of amazing, cool stuff. The things we're doing now would blow them away. And that could very well be what people think of us in a few hundred years. That or their cell phones just get bigger. Yeah, of course that.

And then, but then if that's true, there's the thing, it's like, why has no one visited us yet? Like, are we, and there's a bunch of reasons that could make that happen. Like, maybe there's some sort of Star Trek system, like a prime directive, where they don't mess with our, with little middling civilizations that haven't risen to the level of interstellar travel. Like, they don't want to mess with our evolutionary path and throw their baggage on us. That we're just the most, like that, you know,

all these other planets that we're discovering of like, hey, that one could maybe have life, I guess, perhaps. I don't know. It's not a rocky piece of shit moon. So there's that. Like we don't,

because we don't have a sense of perspective because we don't know any living things on any other planets. Like what if it is that Earth really is like the fucking best possible setup for this to have worked out like there were tons of petri dishes all over the place and ours is the one that's gotten the furthest like that's the cool thing about planes and shit like who knows that might be it there's like is it more likely that that's the case or that there's super advanced

rick and morty's out there like i both both of them seem equally implausible that's the case or that there's super advanced Rick and Mortys out there. Like, both of them seem equally implausible. That's the cool thing about those radio telescopes. I didn't really understand how they worked for a long time, but it's about the spectrum of light that they're capturing.

And so if something is a certain color, it's because it's composed of a certain element and certain elements. And so they can tell by looking at something what it's made out of.

So they have these things called, what, um... The planets that are like Earth. so they can tell by looking at something what it's made out of. So they have these things called, what? The planets that are like Earth, that are the correct size that the gravity would be similar. Well, in Star Trek, they call them that. Yeah, I like that. I think in science, they call them Earth-like. Yeah, these Earth-like planets

that are in that Goldilocks zone. We've all heard it we're where uh we're liquid water they're the correct distance from their star so that liquid water can exist uh but there's so many of them they just announced they found like 15 more right like they're constantly finding them with the new telescopes that they've got i don't know they don't even need water what if other forms of life are like like drinking methane gas or something and they're not even like corporeal beings they're like you know in the ether somewhere when we talk about silicon life forms like like that that's what they're that's what they're suggesting but i like the idea that that they wouldn't even have uh like corporeal forms

that they would either be we wouldn't even recognize them as lives at first energy we just be like oh yeah our tricorders are picking up weird shit it turns out those are sentient beings yeah that happens all the time in star trek they'll they'll think it's like a uh a nebula a gas nebula like a bunch of charged gas particles and they'll be like oh shoot them with the the proton beam number one and they're like oh shit sir we killed them particles and they'll be like, oh, shoot them with the proton beam number one. And they're like, oh shit, sir, we killed them all. And it's just like, it turns out the gas things were alive. They call it gassing

and it's sweeping across the country in every high school. Only now NASA scientists are revealing that this gas is actually a form of extraterrestrial life. That's explained as the extreme high. That is what you're describing kyle and we are we genocided a whole alien race like just getting high on them that'd be great yes there's a new star trek called star trek discovery it's about to come out the the captain is the guy who plays oh um i i don't know about plans for a new movie but there's a whole new tv show uh the

guy who plays the captain is the guy who plays Draco Malfoy's dad in the Harry Potter films, if you recall him, Mr. Ponytail. You know, I think New Generation is not as good as I used to think it was. I think there's a gay character.

I used to think, thank you, I used to think Next Generation was the top of the heap. Next Generation. And Deep Space Nine got really good.

Deep Space Nine is the top of the heap. Not only did it have the intellectual side that next generation sometimes had there were you know they went out and built a real fighting starship and did some star warsy shit in in there i i like that about it was it was a it was a unique thing that they had going on there so for those who don't know and they're gonna go deep into this but it's about they're on a space station they're not cruising the galaxy looking for shit there was a wormhole there so it was a commerce people went by and it's it's a

yeah and the cool part is they build like a warship which is the thing that the federation never does because they're all about science and exploration and they're like no we need a fucking warship with a cloaking device and like quadruple torpedo launchers on it that rapid fire and shit and and uh but the greatest thing about that show was the character development if you compare deep space nine to voyager it's just it's four tiers higher because going to watch an episode of voyager and and like crazy shit will happen these characters like balana torres is like a half clean on half human and she's always struggling with her like rage and shit. And you'll have an episode where like she should have grown from this episode because she had to master her rage in this

episode, but she won't. The next episode, she's back to being like rage filled B'Elanna Torres. Meanwhile, in Deep Space Nine, these characters have all have arcs. Every single one of them is growing, becoming a better version of themselves or a worse version of themselves or more damaged version of themselves and uh it's good strong acting it really is um garrick the guy who plays he's one of the main villains he's the uh the um the the kardashian uh boss of the second order or whatever like it is the best films ever i would have called them a kardashian i was like i'm so infected you're right you're right anyway yeah that that was

great i hope the new one is great too we'll see i've been liking the star trek movies i'm starting to wonder if they're better than the star wars movies and i i always thought star wars was better but if you really watch it i'm enjoying enjoying the Star Trek stuff. It's space like X Games athletes jumping around, solving problems with base jumping and motorcycle jumping and I don't know. Cool shit.

See, I'm a little over the Star Office worker thing. What are the... Do some fucking science while you're out there god damn what are you doing out there you can't just have like like kirk kirk was that's what he did right like he was he was a captain that would punch an alien out and like go down to the surface and and like fuck some some three-titted women but but but he was always doing that while he was on a science mission he's like going to see the diplomatic mission on cecilil 5 or whatever like he was on a science mission. He's like, going to see the diplomatic mission

on Cecil Hill 5 or whatever. Like he was always doing some actual work. It seems like in the new movies, they're just like out fucking off and like just... They were doing actual work? There was just too much ridiculous stuff. And that's something to be said

when we're talking about... They needed a ship capable of going through the nebula. That rescue mission was terrible. That was so ridiculous. Most ships can't navigate through the nebula rescue mission was terrible that was so most ships can't navigate through the nebula the enterprise could that that was awful somehow they weaponized mining drones to become one of the most incredible forces the universe has ever seen like why

don't all the enemies do that just get their mining drones together and send those to war normally these starships they sort of fight each other and they're just big ship on ship this was like 5 000 little ships all poking holes in you and these mining ships were very they're small and they're tough because i guess they're built to smash into rocks so when you fired your big photon torpedo or lasers at them you take out two but great now there's like 4,998 left. You're fucked. Yeah. But don't worry. At the end, they use science. It brought tears to my eyes.

And the Beastie Boys. I like it when people win. I like victory. That's the thing that gets me most in movies. And when they start playing, like, it's sabotage. I was so into it. It didn't bother you that at the beginning of of the the the thing scotty was like oh it's gonna be so hard to beam two people at once and then all of a sudden it was like

26 of you at once boom or that that ship had been that ship that they were in like like why did the bad guy the bad guy was the captain of that ship like the bat that was his fucking shit he put a cloak on it does the bad guy not know where he crashed the hot white girl and then when i say who's that fooling though not not pink like uh she was white yeah with two black stripes on her yeah she uh she put a cloaking device on it he forgot where he crashed his ship and here's the other thing which would be easier if you think about it for the guy who crashed that ship to turn all those mining vessels to weaponize them and to evolve himself into this super being and all of his buddies or to just repair that ship

and leave it took scotty a whole day like they fixed the problem that he'd been there years right idris elba had been there his for like a hundred years wasting away and he's a starfleet captain with an entire he is from the scotty gets there and in one day solves the problem that had ruined this man's life great movie is this guy it was like a cast i like i watched it been there like like colin and i both gave it a thumbs up i was like you know there's two more recent star trek movies we can watch those together too and he's like yeah let's do that maybe another night no he liked it see even he knows he's like yeah dad better later in the movie i'll be honest with you he didn't say that uh we were loving it See, even he knows He's like Chris Yeah, dad Did it not bother you That they got the transport To work better later in the movie?

I'll be honest with you He didn't say that We were loving it Yeah Come on, dad Like where did he get a dirt bike? They're on another planet And why is it warping around like that?

And he's digging it It was pretty cool They're not a sponsor tonight But Ah Nice I don't think Casper is a sponsor tonight but you know who is nature box what do you do when you want a snack but all you can find is junk food align yourself control to resist the temptation please you eat the junk food start snacking healthy

with nature box nature box makes snacks that actually taste great and are better for you created with high quality ingredients that are free from artificial flavors, sweeteners, and colors. So you can feel great about snacking. Some of our personal favorites around here are the peanut butter nom noms, the chocolate hazelnut granola. I really like the coconut cashews. NatureBox recently made their service even better. Now you can order as much as you want, as often as you want, with no minimum purchase required. And you can cancel anytime.

It's simple. Go to naturebox.com and check out their snack catalog. There are over 100 snacks that you can choose from, and they're constantly adding delicious new snacks. Choose the snacks that you want. They'll be delivered right to your door. With Naturebox, you'll never get bored. There are new snacks added each and every month, inspired by real customer feedback. And if you ever try a snack that you don't like, Naturebox will replace it for free.

And, of course right now you'll save even more because nature box is offering painkiller already fans 50 off your first order when you go to naturebox.com slash pka that's naturebox.com slash that's awesome 50 off your first order them out healthy snacks add something dear to your life i don't know a little snack i have uh i have the trailer here for season three of rick and morty is that something that we I don't know. A little snack. I have the trailer here for season 3 of Rick and Morty. Is that something that we should watch on the show? Season 3 trailer?

I bet it's going to be weak. I bet it's just going to be like a montage of moments that happened this year that don't... Let's see. Let's see what we get. I'm going to get it linked to you. It's a minute and 35 seconds long. I know you don't like to hear it, but you really are genuinely slow at copy pasting.

Well, I've only got one monitor and no mouse. I'm on a laptop right now. I had to go through multiple windows and scroll. Are you ready? Then I closed those windows. Okay. We can do that. Well, we should wait on Taylor, right?

Time travel stuff. Amaze. I'm sure he's going to want to see this. I'm looking at the opening frame. Wait, what? Oh, that's always there. Yeah. Oh, it's unchanging.

All of that has been like that since episode one. It's a metaphor, the time travel stuff being literally put in a box and put on a shelf. It's their way of saying they're not going to mess with time travel because it's too complicated. It's literally been boxed up and put on the shelf but that uh all that junk that that you can kind of see there in that shot that is there and if you go in the vr game exact same shit is there i haven't gone in the vr game but i've watched footage of people playing vr could give you an advantage i like the continuity on the show am i calling it the right name battlegrounds i like the continuity on the show am i calling it the right name battlegrounds

nah but you know it's mouse and keyboard it's it it's it's so like twitch and shoot and pop and like beat them nah i guess i was just thinking like so here hypothetically i think if you had like a triple monitor setup where you could look around and see stuff that that might be an advantage over someone who's looking you're playing the game through a toilet paper roll right i do have a slightly wider field of view because of 21 by 9 if you were to take that and exaggerate it so it was like a 1080p person 180 degrees you know from like shoulder to shoulder monitor where you could quickly look around i think that would be an advantage still you know even over what you have now so i was like oh well in vr you could have that yeah you know if what i found though is like that fast twitch super duper accuracy of hitting a couple pixels like trumps that uh early warning that you would get from that because and i just get that from

like watching the best people in the game play when i watch that grims guy play it'll get down to the final circle and there's maybe five people left and he's got a car 98 sniper rifle it's one of the few things that a one shot kill someone you have to hit him in the head and that's difficult in this game because the ranges are large and and he'll just he'll just be running and he'll and he's running because he's waiting on them to start shooting at him, because they can't kill him as fast as he can kill them. So they'll go, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, and he'll just go, bang, and kill them.

And someone else will hear that shot, they'll start shooting him, and he'll go, bang, and kill them. And it's just, it wouldn't matter that if I was in VR and I knew where he was and started shooting at him, if I can't be accurate, and he compensates for recoil, and that guy's really fun to watch. It's Grimm's with a bunch of Zs. If I can't be accurate, he compensates for recoil. That guy's really fun to watch.

It's Grimm's with a bunch of Z's. He's an entertaining streamer, and he's really chill. He's not the kind of guy who's screaming, like, yeah, get fucked in the ass. It's not like a pumped-up macho thing. It's more like, oh, look at that. I just did another incredible thing. Sandy Ravage. All right. That's what we do here, though. We're going to watch the season three trailer

for Rick and Morty together. We're queued up. We're just waiting for you to join us. Ready, set, play. I'm all good. Set to go. Mad Max. Thank you. laughing laughing laughing laughing

laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing Thank you. all right that was way better than i was expecting it to be that kind of

i like yeah the summer and and and like uh cave i like the, like, only a show this smart could do something this stupid. It can be this stupid. Whatever it was. I like the way they're talking. It can be this stupid. Yeah. All right. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.

I'm going to the darkest year of our lives, Morty. This is the worst. It's getting darker. Oh. I like that shit. I'm excited now. Yeah, that was good. I like that it's dark like like like do you remember the episode where like rick is sitting there and like first he tests his it's

the uh it's the one where like he goes and hang it hangs out with his girlfriend uh unity and she's like uh the the being that's uh and like uh taking over the minds of entire planets uh and then like the the fucking fucking, the music plays and he sets up his suicide device, sacrifices some sort of desk troll to make sure it works, sticks his head in it to kill himself and then like, you know,

pussies out and like sits there and cries. Like that's so fucking dark. And then the credits roll. Yeah. As the music plays. And I think it's playing Hurt or something. No, it's, you could have it all. Yeah, it hurt that is hurt yeah that's yeah yeah yeah yeah it's a pretty

fucking dark cartoon with a lot of the stuff and that's kind of what makes it entertaining is that like i don't know it's dark and it has continuity and so it's not like in family guy or south park south park has some continuity but like when someone dies and they're just like right back the next week like here i am like it's there's more lasting stuff and then uh watching like morty's psychological deterioration and his maturation is like he goes more and more crazy now like the thing about more but he's not well adjusted oh Who cares though? He's well adjusted to the life that he lives. I love the story of Morty.

And I think when this is all said and done, Morty's arc will be the coolest of them all. Because at first, like when he's getting drug out of bed in that violent, drunken scene in the opening episode of, you know, episode one, like scene one. He's just ill-prepared and terrified and awkward and he can't even form a sentence to defend himself and by this the april fools episode that we just got you know season three episode one he's addressing the you know the council of

ricks you know he's like no no you don't know shit if you think my rick is dead then he's alive and if you don't think he's here he's coming to get you and you're all going to die. And it's just like, yeah, this guy is at his balls now. He's grown into his own character. He's getting there. And from what we saw there, I liked when he's like, shut the fuck up. Mind your own fucking business, Gene. I feel like Morty isn't going to take much more shit.

He's getting more callous shit He's getting more callous He's becoming more callous, more hardened More like Carl from Walking Dead He's becoming a dark fucking sociopathic fucker Just like Rick He's seen some shit I still haven't watched any Aside from the first episode

Of either Sonny or Archer From this year Like neither one of them I didn't know i've watched first like three episodes of sunny i think and that's it this is it's always sunny in philadelphia no i didn't really keep up with it this year i kind of lost yeah yeah what was it it's kind of trailing off do you think i just i kind of just realized that a couple minutes ago like yeah they did oz or something. It was a musical, maybe. They replaced the... They became Black People.

I didn't like that episode. There was about two or three episodes that were not very good. There were about two that I didn't love. But there's like two or three that were really good. I feel like I like the concept of it's always in sunny Philadelphia. And the shows tend to be disappointing. Whatever, they're on season 13 or something, and they're not going to be as great as they were at first

when they were a novelty. But, you know, the character... Yeah. Like, they've had to go so far with some of the characters. Like, it started out with, like, Dennis. Well, Dennis is the wrong one to critique because his story arc is funny like uh the mac being gay thing finally coming to fruition was was funny but they like they kind of held that over for so long that it was like even everybody in the audience it's like you know maybe that was their point of like yeah

finally he's saying he's gay but dennis starts out the show is just like a womanizing asshole and by like season seven he's like bordering on serial killer shit like god damn it d if you say one more word i'm gonna dice you into little pieces and i'm gonna put those pieces in a box and i'm gonna put the box in the freezer because of the smell you didn't think of the smell you didn't think of the smell did you you bitch you bitch you never considered the smell and he gets so red faced and angry and he's

he just he really comes off as someone who's fucking off their rocker and you're like yeah man this guy kills women in his spare time he's killed a couple of women and tortured a few animals like this is what he does in his spare time. Probably has it on tape. He's killed a couple of women and tortured a few animals. Like, this is what he does. Like, when he and...

Oh, he has it on tape. When he and Dee are tracking the waitress, like, seven seasons ago or whatever, and they're, like, getting in the shoes of the killer when they think that Mac is the killer, but he's really just, I'm banging the tranny, is what he, you know, I'm banging the tranny is what he eventually

comes out and says. But the way that they're masquerading around and Dennis is like, yeah, we're gonna storm in the bathroom, we're gonna get her, we're gonna tie her up and then you'll use that axe. And Dee's like, yeah, yeah, but what are we really gonna do? He's like, oh,

yes, of course, we're not actually gonna kill this woman. of course not like he has to be like snapped back to reality of like he's not living his fantasy as a serial killer he's he's doing something with his sister yeah oh yeah he i really like you know the dennis one the most i guess i guess like now like this like semi-critique has turned into like appreciating the storyline which it is like i like it's almost like different has become totally unhinged because he's kind of he's he's like you know i i'm a trash person now that's what i do you know he's easily just kind of like thrown off this this this life of uh of riches and and and class and he just wants to be a street person now with Charlie

and go into the sewers. Charlie. Charlie. Yeah, for my magnum dong. Danny DeVito is awesome. I'll play Nightcrawlers with you, Charlie. Yeah, Danny DeVito is awesome. He really does make that show. It wouldn't be a show without him. It started without him. It wasn't as good, right?

Yep. I mean, it did. It did, exactly. I wasn't as good, right? Yep. I mean, it did. It did, exactly. Yeah, season, I don't, when I go back and rewatch occasionally and season one doesn't make the cut, I usually don't watch it because Danny DeVito's not there

and he's kind of the, you know, Charlie calls himself the wild card, but the real wild card is Frank's money injected into the thing. It's like that allows the plot to move along when normally it wouldn't because these are because they never have any customers and they're not making money and so like it doesn't make any sense for that and then the one time like do you ever watch stuff in shows

and then get upset by how badly situations are handled like you put yourself in the real life version like when it may have been the first episode of Sonny ever when Charlie or Mac wants to prove that he's not a racist. And they find the gay black guy who's like the club promoter. And he gets tons of gay dudes to come there and really pimp the bar out and make it super successful. And then like you just watch over like the course of seven minutes at the end where they, you know, Charlie says awful stuff about to the guy's sister. And then like by the end, it's like, we don't want you here. Take your take all your money and your gays and get out of our bar get out of our bar out you know that kind of shit that dennis was starting to do like i don't know that you watching that episode again almost upsets me where it's like oh your life could have been good you

could have had a good gay bar life you know dennis would have been happy by season three he'd have been gay because he loves attention so much like ah it could have been something uh mac would have come out much quicker pretty soon it's just sex in the city though so i guess it's good yeah that that didn't happen i i like that show you know people call it seinfeld on crack or whatever it really is you know it's uh it's as close to seinfeld as we have currently that that kind of smart uh sitcom kind of thing i i i really don't like many sitcoms i really don't like much comedy uh it often falls short and i feel like it's often made for kind of a dumbed down audience and and and i i don't like that that's one that's one of the things that

turns me on so much about rick and morty is is like something's going over my head i'm gonna have to google that that was a fucking math joke. That was a fucking calculus joke. He just cracked there. I got to fucking look this up. What was that thing that Rick does when he's like,

yeah, you're like a real Rick Van Winkle when it comes to this stuff. Right, Morty? Tumley Tullerson. Oh, you like that right you like that uh do you yeah think for yourselves don't be sheep you know it's like i i like that like i i i made a video on my channel like seven years six years ago or something

like about uh making up words and using them in conversation to see if people like agree and don't call you out on it um like just just kind of be a dick the one i i thought of it does what would it mean tendus doesn't that sound like a real word pretend this it means like out of this world get out of here you're crazy like what a pretendus uh action like that kind of thing so you would just slip it in and be like what do you think of that like math test it's like i studied for most of it but god that like short answer section was retentious yeah i know i thought retentious i don't know why because i made that up it's gonna have to do with like pulling something in and containing it like something that's retentious would be like a balloon filled with water. It's a little retentious. Yeah, yeah.

From the retention sort of root part of the word, maybe, yeah. Really? It's on Urban Dictionary from 2010. The act of creating a word and using the word in presence of someone who believes itself to be a smartass and to later on find out that using the word is not a real word. That's literally what retentis means, according to Urban Dictionary. Yeah, good for... Well, I mean, someone put this up

after I made my video, like as a joke, to put retentis in the Urban Dictionary, meaning that it's a word that you say under any implication, I guess you could say. Because it's not a real word, so you can use it for any meeting. That was retentious.

What an awesome party. You can fucking use it for anything. The whole point is you try and bait somebody into saying it in a time when you're around in their context.

You know? So you just... It's like a... It's deep-level bamboozling. I haven't done it in... since fucking high school. Yeah. Because it's just not that not

that entertaining i guess this was after high school whatever anyway sorry do you guys want to talk about uh here look at this well venus williams hits someone with a car but we don't have to talk about that that's not that great wait she didn't actually this she this uh so i don't know much well she got hit but she was she was stopped at an intersection you know when people like like the light will be green but there's not enough room for your car she did that and then got struck by a car that was also obeying the her own green light but oh so venus's car was left in the intersection venus williams entered an intersection that she didn't have the room to get out of to get all the way through so so then when the light switched she

was left with her car's butt hanging in the intersection god hit and then that person hit her car into a pedestrian that person died the No, so basically, Venus Williams' car was projecting into the middle intersection, and she couldn't get through all the way, and someone, when their light was green, was going through, and they hit her. The lady driving the car

hit Venus Williams' car, and the passenger, this elderly guy, died of his injuries from head trauma. Huh. That must have been a pretty good hit. Correct. Like, cars nowadays,

cars nowadays are so safe. How far were they out in the intersection? Everywhere, the whole cage, the structure. People get into some pretty good accidents and walk away. For a guy to die in a car accident against a car sitting in an intersection, they must have rammed her good.

Yeah. Pretty weak tea. But maybe it was a shitty car. Maybe it was an old car. But the thing I linked, I don't know much about the car. Oh, wait. These aren't Kardashians. Oh, wait.

No. The Kardashians and the Jenners are the same people, right? Yeah, they are. So this is Kendall Jenner and- Kardashian Jenner. So they started selling shirts for like $140, apparently. And all that it is, if you scroll down, you'll see it. It's just a picture of Tupac and Biggie

and like superimposed as though someone like- It's their Instagram pics. My first Photoshop project is just an, yeah, it's an Instagram pic that's made partly translucent and then superimposed over both of them. Like just a big picture of their head. And not just Tupac and Biggie, but also Black Sabbath, Metallica, Pink Floyd,

The Doors, Kiss, Led Zeppelin, just overlaid with their Instagram pics. And they're selling them for $125. They didn't say, hey, Black Sabbath, hey, a state of Tupac and Biggie, do you mind if we use this, you know, we'll throw you a kickback? Like, no, it was just, yeah, I mean,

I guess these are like public pictures now. Just throw our Instagram photos over it and sell it for $140. Like, how could you be so arrogant that you think you can get away with that? You see Sharon Osbourne's tweet, because obviously Ozzy Osbourne is Black Sabbath. She goes, girls girls you haven't earned the right to put your face with musical icons stick to what you know lip gloss yeah well she's right i love the kardashians are just

i love them i don't know why everyone keeps looking at them stop i love well i don't even know them i just love that they get people to look at them i love that everybody hates them i i i don't i like i guess i i can't even name i know there's kim kardashian there's a chloe right and there's i'd probably recognized other names i know caitlin jenner as a kardashian somehow but like it's not like i follow okay i didn't even know kylie was a was a thing but kylie i do know that they have this multi-million dollar empire they're all multi-millionaires out of just being interesting and well it started with kit like kim was friends with with paris hilton like like that that's where it started like like like that's what made her famous she was she was paris hilton's friend and then she you know that that the the sex tape with her getting fucked by ray j came out

and then they started selling she's bigger now than she ever was she's snowballed from that it was like right it's it's all from so you have to give her some credit right like oh yeah yeah So you have to give her some credit, right? Oh, yeah. She made this happen. And she's 10 years into it, I think, maybe. And people are still watching this. People are still captivated by the life trajectory of the Kardashians.

They're the best vloggers the planet's ever seen. And there's a whole sea of people out there rooting against him saying you don't have actual talent you're you're nothing you're not you can't sing you can't dance you can't act and they're like and so not even attractive i mean like like at the end of the day i understand if you saw that woman in real life you wouldn't find her attractive she's she's like five foot two or five foot one or something and she's just misshapen. What's her name? Her thighs are much too thin for that fake Kim Kardashian.

You're probably right. Yeah. But do you really know what she looks like? Yeah. If you look at un- like like unphotoshopped beach like try to find unphotoshopped beach photo kim kardashian 2016 2017 something like that and you can tell like her thighs are way too small for that big fake ass she has it's not even her real ass it's uh yeah i'm just saying look i'm not a hater i'm not one of those people that he's

talking about that's like i don't understand why they have so much money. It's not that. It's just like, I don't care to, I'm not interested by them or their success. Like, it's their success. It says more about us as people than it says about them. And it's not a good thing that it says, I think. She's a vlogger. Their success says something bad about the rest of us.

Except they're a TV show that's produced. They're the worst role models imaginable and yet they've filled that role big time. And I think it says something bad about us that these are the people that are role models and are icons and train makers. All I know is little girls looking up to them. I mean, she's famous

because she has a Keeping Up with the Kardashians show that people watch. Yes, she is. That's why she got that show, though. This all started with a porn video. For example, her family is very well connected like if she's she's so well connected with her family that like if the only reason they picked that family is because like oh you got some

pretty attractive daughters and you're a very powerful attorney you know the father isn't fucking jenner uh bruce jenner or caitlyn jenner whatever you're in there like oh it's a famous family let's do that like they could have chosen they could have replaced all those Kardashian girls I assume with attractive women from just around the country and nobody would have noticed it was a launching pad that she took and

brought to the next direction no no it was massive dude they made she made more they made there's so many millions made just from the porn video. It was huge. PKA used to give shout-outs. It owned the internet.

I've seen it many times. Some people would get 12,000 subs the next day, and some people would get 12, because a lot of it had to do with what they found when they got there. And, you know, with Kim Kardashian, like, that blowjob thing was... But it's different than that. Whatever she did with Ray J, that was a long time ago. That's... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's lots of sex. It's a whole weekend film. And her sisters are famous. It's just lots and lots of sex. But the kickstarting is just a shout-out. This all got kickstarted from that, though. That's how they got into the public eye. Okay.

No, but the kickstarting isn't just a shout-out when there's an entire industry of magazines and gossip websites, and they want these people to be popular. So when that comes out, just like they did with Paris Hilton, they all talk about it nonstop. And the way the news media does with big news stories, these, you know, People magazine or whatever the hell, they do that with all of these.

Yeah, they perpetuate it. So it's like, oh, if we talk about these people, we're getting good ratings because people want to know about the sex tape girl with the sisters. And so we're going to talk about it. We're going to, like, and then it's almost like a repeating cycle of like,

well, people are reading this because it's all we're doing and all we're doing because people are reading it. It wouldn't work. You know, they could have done that with like the smiths there's something that kardashians had a bunch of hot daughters i presume i that that is making them different than everybody else and i agree with you i think it's a bad thing though i think it's and i think it says like i said i think it says something bad about us that they are so famous that there are so because i look at it and all I see is just like, these are low class, like money grubbing, just bad human beings. Like these are shameless people who would sell anything.

I'm not even sure if Caitlyn became Caitlyn for any other reason than the subs. I don't know. Gosh, I love that they've worked with what they had and they turned it into this multi-million dollar business. They're entrepreneurs, right? When they're on camera, they're not just being themselves. They're putting on a show, I'm sure of it. They have to be. If they were being themselves, they'd be laying down watching Netflix,

being boring like everyone in the world but in and the mom is a real snake like right like she was cheating on her husband left right back in the day robert kardashian you know he was the oj's friend it was he was in the trial and everything like like it's it's it's it's barely even a rumor anymore at this point that chloe OJ Simpson's daughter. There's been talk of her going and getting a DNA test, and they said that OJ will do it, but he wants her to come to prison and see him first. I mean, they're Armenian, so they're all pretty dark, right? I feel like Chloe is the more heavy set of them. Yeah, the one

that looks more like a running back so you're saying she's genetically fat uh no uh she she she got fat because she was eating she lost that weight now though because you know the kardashians i don't know i don't think so i don't think any of them are all that attracted to be honest i feel like there's a lot of of Photoshop and there's a lot of Instagram filters and a lot of airbrushing and stuff. Those just aren't... Armenian women aren't known as natural beauties. It's not...

These are rough-looking people, okay? Like, normally and naturally. It's just a fabrication, in my opinion. We've got a huge segment of listeners from armenia so we're gonna i still though i just admire their ability to stay relevant stay on top turn this little you know springboard into something that's launched them into outer space like they did a thing and they they've i bet it's been really hard work along the way and i know know you can throw shots at their $140 t-shirts or whatever. It sounds crazy. But they're running a business.

Kim made like $100 million off that cell phone app. But I'm saying that it's indicative of their business skill that for them to do something like this t-shirt thing being so, quote, deep in the game of this business. that for them to do something like this t-shirt thing being so quote deep in the game of this business like it just kind of speaks to like either they were trying to trump up some kind of controversy which maybe i doubt it because this seems like doing this with this kind of with tupac and biggie and not everything is musical artist seems like that's the kind of move that you're gonna piss off your own fans because i'm sure all your current fans like yeah not everything is 3d chess like i honestly think it was just we can do this right yeah we can sell that like who's gonna stop us we're the kardashians like i like i get i make thirty thousand dollars i'm taking a shit selling

nonsense makeup to uh to little girls who idolize me um and that's a real thing like i've talked to friends uh with younger daughters who are like oh yeah yeah, they just love the Kylie Kendall, some K name, Jenner lip gloss or something. And you have to be on their website like ready to hit buy as soon as they do it because they do the Nintendo thing where they're like, oh, you want a PlayStation Switch? We made the 17 of them. And it's like, oh, that's not enough.

More than 17 people want it in the due time. I don't know if it's still true, thousand t-shirts and then they would all sell out really quickly and uh you know i'm on the outside like man that guy just guy just made like $10,000 in 30 seconds. That's outrageous. I'm not sure if he still does that, but he had a clothing company that was just in huge demand. It happens on YouTube too. Time for another advertisement. Tell me about HelloFresh.

I like HelloFresh. This episode of PKA is brought to you by HelloFresh. HelloFresh is a meal kit delivery service that makes cooking more fun, so you can focus on the whole experience, not just the final plate. Each week, HelloFresh creates new delicious recipes with step-by-step instructions designed to take about 30 minutes for everyone from novices to seasoned home cooks short on time. HelloFresh sources the freshest ingredients measured to the exact quantities needed, so there's no food waste. HelloFresh currently offers customers a classic box, a veggie box, and a family box.

Customers can order three, four, or five different meals per week designed for either two or four people. New recipes are created every week, and they source the freshest ingredients, measure to the exact quantities needed, so there's no food waste. HelloFresh employs two full-time registered dietitians on staff who review each recipe to ensure it's nutritionally balanced. And HelloFresh is now offering light summer meals and has just introduced breakfast options,

delicious ingredients you'll love to eat, simple recipes you'll love to cook. So get cooking for less than $10 per meal. $10 per meal. Get started today and get $30 off your first week of deliveries by visiting HelloFresh.com and entering our code PKA30 when you subscribe. Again, that's HelloFresh.com, promo code PKA30. HelloFresh isn't trying to take credit for the cooking.

You know, you get all the stuff, you make it, you whip it up, throw all the supplies away. You know, you don't have to share the credit. You can have a nice lady or a gentleman, if that's your stroke, you know, over for dinner, make a beautiful, you know, gourmet looking meal and then take full credit for it. Do you know how much that helps to pretend that you're really good at something and then in a relationship reveal, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. Ten steps up. Can't recommend stuff. That's what Janice did, if you remember on The Sopranos,

those of us who have watched all The Sopranos, who didn't get lazy and checked out. Remember when she's trying to win Bobby's affections after Bobby Bacala's wife dies in a little car accident? She's coming up with all these, she's pretending like she's cooking all these meals,'s uh she's coming up with all these she's pretending like she's cooking all these meals but really she's taking uh credit for all of the sympathy

casseroles that were brought for this man's dead wife she's like pretending like they're all her like oh yeah i brought you ziti and and and uncle junior's like that's like that's karen ziti yeah with the basil in the side and he's like no, no, no, that's, it's mine. Like she couldn't cook for shit. And she just pretended like she, she couldn't until she married the guy. And then like completely collapses into her Epstein bar, uh, like, like depression and sleeps all day. She, she, that, that was, she's, that was one of the biggest swindles of the whole series. What was, uh, was Janice screwing Bobby out of out of uh out of his life and marrying her

she manipulated his children you know she was like calling over there scaring the children getting them to play with the ouija board she's iming them from like 666 pretending like she's the children's dead mother like uh she and she just sends like uh, the message says, living room cabinet, third drawer. They got a living room cabinet, third drawer. Oh, shit. It's the Ouija board. So, of course, the kids get all wound up, and they're terrified, and Bobby can't handle it, so he's all frazzled. And there Janice is to step in.

Janice is, like, right there to step in and fill the void. And, like, it's uh yeah that that was awful manipulation maybe that angry neighbor comes back and this time you're not around to cool them off nurturing dependence you're gonna die tonight bitch that was my favorite part when he laughs he's like you're gonna die tonight bitch it's because it betrays like that like even in the dentist system as you know he's a psychopath like you watch his little thing and like when he's

laughing into the phone afterward he's clearly got a face of not doing it to scare this girl he's gleefully reveling in the fact that he's horrifying someone over the phone and manipulating someone yeah he's enjoying this part where he just scares her. Yeah. Oh, Dennis. If he were real, I would not want to hang out with him. Yeah, today I saw a video that was all bloopers

of him threatening Dee and it was just him like, it was that scene I was doing a minute ago where he's like, I'm going to dice you into little pieces and put them in a box

and she starts laughing and he's like, and then he alters it every take. He's like, I'm going to put them in a box and and she starts laughing he's like and put and then he like he he alters it every take he's like i'm gonna put him in a glass box and i'm gonna display it on the mantle so i can look at and she's just like oh this is every time he makes it worse and worse i like uh i think his name's glenn howerton he's been like nothing else if you look on amazon it'll show some coffee bullshit movie he was in that looks lame as shit.

And then he was in that 80s show back in the day, which was like, the 70s show was blowing up, right? And if you look at the cast of that, they got a great, great cast. Everybody from Topher Grace to fucking, what's the good looking guy? Red Foreman, whatever his name is.

Yeah, well, Red's in there. I'm a big fan of him. But I was thinking more Ashton Kutcher. did ashton kutcher ever make a good movie and hit like that guy was a big hollywood star right and i guess he to some degree is what's his best movie butterfly effect yeah i agree with that but but that was real early in his career right like like that was at the beginning he he got popular and then he made all these bullshit rom-coms and just shit-tier movies. I don't think he was ever made in a movie. And he did a bad job.

It was not good. He did okay. The movie's not good, though. There was two Steve Jobs movies, and I felt like the other one was better. I mean, he did Cheaper by the Dozen. I didn't know most of his movies. I mean, pretty good but butterfly butterfly effect was good though i i like that nobody's ever seen that like because i think it's an older movie like i said it really was earlier in his career it's it's uh he he's able to go back

in time and change things in his life and And every time he changes things, they get worse and more complicated. And there's like two or three alternate endings. I don't remember which one's the real one. But in one of them, he goes back to when he's in the womb. Like the way he goes back in time is by looking at a picture of himself in the past or by utilizing his journal. I don't remember the specifics, but he looks at sonogram picture uh in one alternate ending ending so he goes back to being in the womb and uh he fucking takes the umbilical cord and wraps it around his own neck so he can like end it all like right there so he never because he never gets born never fucks everybody's life up dark ending that's one of the like you know it's one of the, like, you know, it's one of the endings. There were like two,

there were alternate endings on DVDs. That was, and I just remember that was definitely one of the endings. Yeah. Remember that movie

he had with Bernie Mac where he was like dating Bernie Mac's daughter? I want to see that Heal Me. Yeah. Guess who? Get out.

Yes. When it was just, I heard that was really good. Get out. Oh no, you're good. It's top's top tier they say haven't seen it yet uh rotten tomatoes is like really high made a ton of money everybody loves it chis raves about it says it's very good um just by watching you know just the basic premise seems to be uh white girls bring her black boyfriend home to meet the family yeah and at first it seems like i haven't seen the hank green movies either or is it tom green the paper towns

and that star-crossed lovers one like north star you don't know these the one in particular was really good i think we made fun of it on the show without realizing it was the greens the hank green i think um the i think that the two kids both have cancer maybe and they fall in love with each other and no no this is ringing a bell for me oh if that's a movie that i don't like it and stupid if there's a movie where two kids have cancer and they fall in love then i don't like it amazing i'm not gonna watch i don't want to watch a movie i was thinking about this today there's a few movies that you only watch once because they're so sad and you just don't ever do it to yourself again. The Green Mile is one of them for me.

I only just take my hand balls. No, John Coffey, I'll never take your hand again because you made me cry like a bitch every single time. And then you stomp on that mouse just when fucking out of nowhere you stomp on Mr. Jenkins. Yeah, Mr. Jenkins. of nowhere you stomp on mr jen is the show yeah mr jen is purse like that's like percy in that movie the guy who stomps on uh uh the mouse mr jenkins mr jenkins whatever the fuck it was like when like i have a visceral hatred of that character so much more than even characters in

letter like serial killers and shows because it's almost like that's a more believable and relatable level of evil yeah you know because's a more believable and relatable level of evil yeah you know because you can see yourself getting to the level of like of being a war criminal or something like that like like these are the people who killed every friend i had in the world and yeah i'm just i'm a hollow out form of what i used to be and now i just kill but i still wouldn't stomp on that poor guy's little mouse goddamn like he had it yeah rolling that little thing okay that little uh thing of the thread that little and he was he was gonna be a circus mouse and shit and this guy's clearly retarded and we're about to execute him anyway like that was fucked i feel i i react so much

to dogs and and other animals dying in movies i won't watch a movie where they're gonna fucking kill a dog or another animal. John Wick, I guess, is like the exception to the rule, but that shit's badass. I've got some questions, or like a lack of confidence in Rotten Tomatoes that I never had before before that Ghostbusters thing happened.

Remember when that movie dropped, the new Ghostbusters? And the Rotten Tomatoes critics was like so high like for a while there it was like this movie's awesome and then you look at the audience score and it was like this uh yeah i really like the ghostbusters and this sucked this was not good and it was like oh and all and they were like promoting stuff on social media and shit like rotten tomatoes says 90 whatever percent for for the new ghostbusters

tired yet sexists and like that like that whole tone when it's like you know they tried to play the angle of you know you hated this because it's women and then it's like oh how about wonder woman bitch you know it was just a bad movie wonder what i'm not gonna watch one because i don't like the superhero thing as much but i'm glad it succeeded like it seems like a good way to show like it's about the quality of the movie. Not like it's, it's about whether or not the character is relatable, not what generals they have.

That King Kong movie was really good. Like, like I mentioned on PKN yesterday, King Kong. Yeah. I think it's just Kong, maybe Kong Skull Island. Um,

it had, uh, John Goodman, uh, Sam Jackson and, uh, uh, John C.

Riley. John C. Riley is in there and John C. Reilly. He's called... John C. Reilly is in there, and John C. Reilly is probably my favorite character. He is hilarious. Like, he's been on the island for, like, since World War II, like 30 years at this point, because they're in, like, NAMM era. It's 1973, and he's been there since, like, 1943. So, like, 30 years, yeah.

And he's kooky as fuck, he's in and he's like your comic relief he's he's he's full of jokes the whole way through and like like there's monsters on this island like all kinds of prehistoric shit that only exist there and there's one part where they're like in the jungle it's just him and a couple characters they're gonna separate here wait on some other people to do some shit you hear like off in the jungle and he's like oh better watch out guys that's those fucking it's those ants and they're like ants he's like yeah they sound like a bird but it's it's a giant fucking ant and you can tell like like he's just fucking with him like like like even on this like island

where there is a giant king kong and there's a spider that like is as big as a building that walks around like he's just fucking with him about the giant ants it was uh so you recommend this movie yeah i really do i thought it was good um there's a lot there's a couple of guys i haven't even i haven't even heard of it yeah it's pg-13 so it should be yeah it's kid safe i i will say like the most gory thing that happens and when it happened i was like damn pg-13 ain't don't play no shit like um they're uh a guy has been eaten by this like lizard monster it looks like a giant komodo dragon but its head is like bone on the outside and it vomits this guy's head out and the head is partially decomposed to the point where it's like there's a lot of

meat on it but you can see all the bone and stuff too and that was pretty fucking gory yeah yeah you know if you're good with that then like that that's as rough as it gets other than that you know it's like king kong fighting a giant squid at one point like um you know king kong fighting lizard monsters sam jackson fighting king kong it's fighting a giant squid is a that's a that's got to be a home turf battle. You're not winning. Kong was in a little lake. He was in a little lake washing his wounds in a little water and the thing fucking starts wrapping him up

and he just stomps its head in and starts eating some calamari there. It's pretty hardcore. I enjoyed the movie. Oh, so the squid made a bad maneuver. It didn't have a chance. Yeah, Kong drugged the squid made a bad maneuver. Yeah, big time. It didn't have a chance. Yeah, the squid, Kong drug the squid away and ate it.

Kong fights helicopters and shit in this movie. It's pretty fucking good. Is this one of the King Kongs where it's like, man, that's a goddamn big gorilla, or it's like, holy shit, it's a building. It's a building. It's a building.

It's absolutely a building. I'm guessing that Kong is 200 feet tall and, and 50 feet wide. He can hold you in the palm of your hand and you would be like this big. Like he's that big. Like he grabbed, he can grab a helicopter and like use it as a hammer, you know,

like that sort of like, like uproot an entire gigantic tree, make a bat out of it, that sort of thing. He's enormous. That'd be a lonely life. And what they're doing, what Warner Brothers is doing, is they're creating their monster universe. John Goodman, in the movie,

he's from this organization called MONARCH that looks for massive... It's an acronym. He's looks for massive some it's it's an acronym he's looking for like massive monsters basically and godzilla is in is in that uh is sort of hinted at early in the movie they show a picture of a world war two ship they've been ripped apart yeah that's what you're gonna get yeah you're gonna universe they're creating a giant monster universe the sequel stuff has their thing i get it you know maybe it's getting a little tired to take certain sequels and run them on for too long but the universe movement like i like that i like it when there's little tie-in when daredevil makes a reference to all the damage

done by the avengers i think that's cool i agree yeah it allows for for bigger more fleshed out universes if you have a little more than one 90 minute movie you know like ever watch a tv show that gets converted into a movie and i walk away i'm sorry actually i really like that one but you know there have been other ones like x files for example where you're like you what? It just turned out to be a slightly longer show. You know? Like, I didn't hate it, but... There's... There was one...

So... We won't talk. I could go on X-Files for a while. But one of the X-Files... A couple of the X-Files movies are good. One of them is shit. There's a Russian one with, like, dog heads and stuff. I just found that the gap between what I got every week and what I got as a movie wasn't as big as i expected it to be and like and that's

typically what happens to me when you take an hour long show and you make a movie out of it it's just an hour and a half long show but um uh what were we just talking about yeah but when you take a universe like that and you can add on king kong there's a piece of the story already told if you've seen the other ones and it's it's cool i like it i like i like the universe idea yeah i i think you're definitely gonna get and i don't know this but i i would bet you're gonna get like probably a king kong godzilla team up right to do some bigger monster avengers invasion or something like that yeah that's that's definitely gonna be a thing the shittier universe that i'm glad is already

like stumbling into existence is the monster universe over there with like the invisible man and uh and uh dr jekyll and mr hyde was it bad and the mummy the mummy failed so here's what i know uh as just i haven't seen it they say they say it's bad and it's rabid right so i i don't know it's like a meme to just love brendan frazier beyond all that's ironic reason so i didn't know if maybe like like yep ever he's the new nick cage i don't want to make this politics but sometimes after a debate you'll see polls that are just the same brendan move right if someone beat someone else you know in my mind by like 52 48 and then you go into msnbc and it's 100 to 0 and you go on fox and it's 0 to 100 and and you

know that that's silliness i thought maybe that happened to 0 and you go on Fox and it's 0 to 100 and that's silliness. I thought maybe that happened to the user reviews on the Tom Cruise mummy that maybe the internet just ganged up on them. The Call of Duty trailer. That wasn't really the worst video in YouTube history.

People just disliked it because it was fun to dislike. They didn't say this is the i disagree i i think it was more about i it it's i agree that it i don't think they disliked it so much because it was it literally was the worst i think that it was the it was the it was the video that had the uh that came in with such high expectations and left people such low it was the video that had the, that came in with such high expectations and left people such low. It was the video itself induced those low ratings.

If the video had been good, if it hadn't been this sci-fi space cod, which is, you know, if you remember that trailer, it's like, oh yeah, it's like, I think like Rocketman or something like that plays and they like go into space and you're like, oh yeah, Call of Duty's now fucking a Star Wars video into space and you're like oh yeah call of duties now fucking a star wars video game and you're like oh my god like the trailer really was just really bad and it had to follow the battlefield one trailer that was like gritty

and it had like i don't know what the track was but it was like it was like it was good and hard hitting and like every every time the beat hit it wasn't space lasers it was a shovel digging in a neck or like a bayonet stabbing somebody or like is there a part of it with like fire because it wasn't even a song it was a score and then you'd wait a beat done yeah yeah it was really good it was was really strong. It was well made. And I think that... I just thought that the low ratings became almost a meme.

It was just bad. Like, it was fun to hate on. I don't know what happened to The Mummy, but I think that Brendan... It wasn't really the worst game made. Could have been to some extent. It could have been self... But I think the Save Brendan movement

is too small to have, like, flopped a whole major motion picture i think that's that's smaller than we think it is i really think it's just who wanted a mummy movie that's why it flopped nobody was clamoring for a mummy movie starring tom cruise no what i would have loved is like edge of tomorrow 2 with tom cruise and emily blunt i i heard it was like like like like make that instead. Don't make some stupid fucking mummy movie. I don't want that.

I don't even understand the premise. Egyptian mummies don't have curses. That's not even a historical thing. It's not real. There are no mummy curses. I don't know. There aren't. I'm not up to date on mummies.

Your research, goddammit. You were talking mummies this week. All damn it what are you you were talking about this week now it seems like every single franchise like every movie is like like a prequel to the movie that they want to make where they're like oh this one we're gonna be talking about fucking ant-man and then like getting him to like kind of square one of his story like his little first like endeavor into something and then we'll bring him back and then eventually Samuel L. Jackson will be sitting in front of the whole gang being like I've assembled you here because you are the best at what you do

or like whatever the fuck he says. I want to see that movie but with the monster universe where it's a very frustrated and impatient Samuel L. Jackson being like King Kong, I have brought you here with the lizard man and the invisible man and jack like you know the camera pans over

yeah and see that would be the that would be like the next scene he'd be like in his bunker with his white board being like the problem here is we do not have a regulatory system for the power of these recruits. As you can notice here, King Kong is stronger than any and all of them combined. At any point, he can decide to kill all of them. Invisible Man isn't very useful. We have tracking technology. The fact that he refuses to go around naked is indescribably stupid. Like that kind of shit.

I would love to see where, unlike every other movie where it's like, oh, well, you know, Iron Man, you sure are a smarmy cunt. But God damn it, do I respect your ability to make a fucking suit out of civic parts in the Middle East? Like, I don't want that. I want it to be like most of the movies this one scene of him trying to shout over these assembled people. Some of them are just inmates because they've lost so many of the people coming in, like the low-level ones, to Kong's outrage. This movie, I would watch.

And I bet other people would too, as it was just a struggle. And then at the end, they realize, why do we bring King Kong here anyway? Get the Avengers on the line. And then that's what it is. And the Avengers have to come in, undo Samuel L. Jackson's,

because Samuel L. Jackson was moonlighting for this other group to make some extra money. Why are you dressed like an Avenger? Don't ask questions, King Kong. But yeah, I give a couple thumbs up for Kong Skull Island. I dug it uh i thought sam jackson's character could a little more fleshed out but uh otherwise i thought it was pretty neat it was uh interesting i thought they did a good job of explaining why there's a fucking

king kong right why we've never found him before like the main thing that the way we've have discovered like the the the thing that's like leading us to begin the expedition is like satellite technology just has become a thing and it's like leading us to begin the expedition is like satellite technology just has become a thing and it's like oh shit we got some satellite pictures of this island that we didn't fucking know about in the pacific and look it's we need to go check this out and uh you know things roll out roll out you can only see him if you believe you know that kind of thing yeah that's uh i'll check that out i thought it was good i'll check out the movie john c riley's killer in it that was my favorite part he's hilarious he's a good I'll check that out. I thought it was good. I'll check out the winky movie. John C. Reilly's killer in it. That was my favorite part.

He's hilarious. He's a good actor. He really is a good actor. He's been in a lot of serious stuff. He can be wacky and serious at the same time. In this, he plays a serious, wacky character. He cracks lots of jokes. The older brother just got busted by USADA.

But it's not even for drugs uh so what happens is you have to supply your whereabouts information like you have to say if you're i guess if you're not in your normal routine or something like my gym or my house you have to tell them i'm traveling to here or to there and nick diaz being kind of a fuck up just didn't do it and he had three whereabouts violations in 12 months and USADA's flagging him for it that seems like something that just the most cursory amount of effort could have avoided

I don't know exactly how you file but all the fighters have to do it and it just feels so Nick Diaz how it goes. I don't know exactly how you file your word about sports, but all the fighters have to do it. It just feels so Nick Diaz. He's going to feel like he's been wronged. He violated the rules that everyone else has to follow. He's going to be on a podcast tomorrow. I don't even know if he was going to come back.

What show was that? Was he serious? He hasn't fought in ages. He hasn't won in even longer. Yeah, he hasn't fought. I think him and Nate are going to be on a podcast tomorrow somewhere. I saw that advertised on Reddit somewhere. I saw that linked. God damn, my sandal's falling apart.

Not on the Joe Rogan one? The heel. Seems like that. Kyle could be one of my kids. You just ripped your sandal look this thing's starting to break ha ha yeah look how look how weak it was oh i i'm terrible with that with clothes yeah and strings like i'll do that where i'll like wear like an older sweater or something and i'll be like this pesky string and like you pull it

and you're like ah would have been smarter to get some scissors and clip it like a clown with a pound so you just keep pulling to try and like you know this like and you go like this yeah you do this move where you're like all right i'm just gonna rip it out oh no all right here i'm gonna get this time well here's the first age of it in my mind but now it is in fact maybe that was a non-critical thread because really i can't see oh now i can't see the difference yeah okay now one of the sleeves has become a wristband that's what i'm doing or you like pull the wrong you pull uh like the the gordian knot thread like from the bottom of the hem of the shirt sometimes

because you're trying to get it off and you don't realize that that is uh you know the cornerstone of your entire shirt and you pull it and you go and then like this little area down there like peels into like where it's like now separated and you're like oh great now it looks like i'm wearing a fucking uh burlap sack around or here's like um even just recently so there's like uh my pool we have a waterfall like going into the pool and the back of it there's mortar but i know that they sort of built a little mortar structure to hide like a pipe or something i want to know how strong it is so i start pressing on it and i'm like no no no no this is what like 10 year old woody would do he would test he would just do destructive

testing on shit he didn't want broken to see how strong how strong are these glasses oh that's strong so i didn't break it hopefully it's strong because someone else will test it but yeah yeah have you ever done that with something like like a shelf that you built like like an ikea shelf or whatever the hell and you're like i gotta make sure that it's sturdy enough to hold something so i'll take like a five pound weight or something and and put it up there really hard to test it and then you're like bang it's like oh it held up but did my first attempt to test it weaken the structural integrity i have to know and then and then you bang and before you know it you're like ah after five bangs splinters to appear and it's like oh

my next show i will have a pool yeah as we record this it's thursday and friday the electrician comes he's been already but he's just gonna to do some final button-up stuff. This weekend, we get water and fence, I think. And that leaves four more days for slippage. It rained, whatever, which it might do. But yeah, we might be swimming on Friday. That's great. Yeah. Nice.

Yeah, it's good you're getting some swimming in before the end of the summer like that would have been a travesty if it was just like well travesty is a bit of a strong word for a first world problem you know really my children and i weren't allowed to swim before the end of the summer we're getting there at the start of july well that would have meant his pool was two years the salesman did a neat idea it is pool talk um yeah he said no matter what like when it gets done it could be the middle of june the middle of july or whatever it's a first year pool like there won't be any grass around it there'll be mud nearby you won't have done all your decorating and stuff he's like it's a first year pool it's not a great pool it'll be a pool but

it'll be a first year pool so that like the whole way through like even now they're're like, yeah, we're going to get you some water, et cetera, et cetera. It'll be cold. You probably won't like swimming in it until it warms up for a while. And I'm like, yeah. You kind of set expectations. You'll be jumping in and jumping right back out. It's freezing water we're putting in there. But, yeah, we are going to have a pool soon, and I'm really, really excited about it.

Yeah. It'll warm up fast on a hot summer day. You'll be good to go. Have you ever thought about getting a pool, Kyle? Work on your swimming? No. I don't like swimming enough to have a pool. My dad's got a pool over there.

I never go over there. I don't want to do that. No? No thought at all? Like you'd never even considered it? I mean, I swim occasionally, like maybe once or twice a year, you know? I get wet in there, go underwater. I like to swim down to the bottom,

look around, you know? I like using goggles so I can see clearly. I like throwing things down there and getting them. I really liked that as a kid, but no. I don't enjoy a pool enough to have one, I don't think. there and getting them, but I really liked that as a kid, but, but no, I don't enjoy a pool enough to have one. I don't think it's really the pool maintenance.

There's a lot of it. Um, and it'd be like, I'd be out there all the time doing some, doing stuff to it. Even with a saltwater pool, like I'd be getting leaves and did you just get running the frogs out of there? And you just get one of those Polaris things,

which is just like a little buggy that you plug in and it runs along the side of like it just goes around your pool like a rumba and it like it's just shaped like a little you know moon bug i don't know anything about everything up like you don't have to be out there with like a skimmer or something yeah so basically it takes salt and turns into chlorine you have a chlorine generator that's how it works so it it takes salt and turns it into chlorine. You have a chlorine generator. Salt water system. That's how it works. Yeah, that's a better word. So it's a salt water system that generates chlorine. We have some sort of buggy, I don't know if it's bipolaris or whatever,

but automatic thing. We have very, very few trees. Like I don't expect more than three or four leaves a year in this pool. Like it's in the middle of a field. We may have grass clippings if we're careless. I don't know how. We'll see. I'll have grass clippings if we're careless. I don't know how. We'll see. I'll have to learn about pool maintenance.

I'd recommend getting, and I don't have a pool or have any knowledge of them, but I noticed that those covers that they threw on top that are like the thermal covers that do a couple things. It would keep anything and everything out of there. I know it keeps algae from growing, but I don't think you have that problem because it's black underneath. But I think it would also keep the grass clippings out.

I have to learn. I asked the pool guy about it. In addition to warming it up much faster. And he was like, some people don't even cover them. You know, he says in North Carolina, you can't pull open for like nine months a year. So some people just don't bother. That's not what it's like here there's way too many trees here where you just get full of or all of our pools when i was growing up

would always just be covered in leaves if you didn't like cover them for the off season but like what kyle was saying like covering them to help them warm up faster like i don't know i'm sure you've helped your dad put a pool cover on but it's not fun it's like an hour long job right like it takes on and off is like it's just a pain in the ass like uh not not an hour but like it it's enough that you're like out in the yard at first like getting it all spread out it depends on the kind of cover you have like if you have one of those nice ones that are super taut just in case like a kid or a dog runs across it they don't just like just straight into the into the in the cold water but all right yeah it's we didn't actually get a heater in phase one so you'll be good just make it so that we could add a heater and we had

the electrician do it in case you want an electric heater uh so we're all ready for it we just didn't know what we need so that's where it is we could add a heater later So we're all ready for it. We just didn't know what we need. So that's where it is. We can add a heater later if we want to. What is this? 36% off solar covers now. Oh, wow. That's a really cool one. I've never seen one of these rollout ones.

Yeah, but do you have to leave this on your pool? I don't know how. Our pool is not rectangular it's like kidding it's cock and ball shape is what it is and uh so i don't know how that would work i i yeah that would be a complication that's the shape you want in a pool is you want the the length that you could swim nice and good, but you need that oblong, shallow section because that's where all the activities go. Yeah, we did a bunch of research. That's where the sports and the fun and the basketball nets and the volleyball. That's why we chose that thing. Everyone apparently has fun in the shallow and that's where the action is. And new pool owners, like first-time pool buyers, sometimes they buy too much deep end. So we did put the

fountain. Ourountains like this big rock thing not big it's like yeah belly button high or something and uh you can jump off of it it's strong enough to jump into the deep end and i don't know if that's fun or not whatever we gotta we're getting a pool soon we'll learn yeah i had a friend in high school uh this girl who her family was insanely insanely rich and so they'd like she'd have parties over at her house every so often and they had this lagoon style pool so it's like almost all shallow water and i swear this girl's dad turned the heater up as like a big dick look at me me, how much money I have competition.

Because you would get into this big pool, and it would be like 94 degrees, to the point that you'd have to be like, well, I thought we were coming over to swim today, you know, Michaela, but it seems like we're going to have to wait until nighttime. Because it's 95 degrees in a St. Louis summer, and I'm hotter in the pool. Yeah. We had friends in Florida who did that, too.

They just preferred their pool to be super, super warm, except that it was solar. They took the water, and they pumped it back and forth, zigzagging across the roof, and then the hot black roof would heat up the water, and that's how they did it. Oh. Oh, my God. then the hot black roof would heat up the water and that was like that's how they did it oh oh my god i heard rich i heard rich russell talking shit on solar a couple days ago he was he was like are these things on your roof they heat up to 160 degrees think about it something 160 degrees on top of your roof, and they call that safety. And I'm like, wait, but your roof was already 160 degrees. We're just talking about putting a solar panel on top of your already hot roof.

How is this? Wait, you're just misleading people with ignorance. No, Kyle, it'll spontaneously combust. That's what he's saying. He was like, can you imagine? And they call that safety? It's like, you're putting something on your roof that's 160 degrees. And I was like, no, you're not.

Your roof is already 160 degrees. You're putting something on your roof that's actually probably cooling your roof off because it's between your roof and the sun. And there's some air in between. What you need to do is go down, get in your driving machine, turn the ignition, starting an explosive reaction in the engine there and then drive on down and buy yourself a good old gas generator you know like that's that's what you need that's it's safe they make coal i saw that the other day yeah they make coal you can get absolutely i saw the pellet you just keep saying they make a stove there's coal burnings hang on let me find this thing there's a stove yeah what do you yeah what's a good grill

like do you want a coal a charcoal generator do you want the egg i saw the egg uh you want the some people think some people think weber grills are the way to go yeah i think i saw some dual fuel ones so you can have like propane on one side and charcoal on the other i don't know what i would and also i don't even know if i want it because our grill would literally be outside the kitchen it burns like so you taste the meat i don't know if you had maybe two or three people holding hands you could touch the kitchen is that even worth it to have a grill there look good so if you get one of these ceramic like it's like it's one of those ceramic inside and finish the thing about those ceramic egg grills i think is that they get like six or seven hundred

degrees inside uh and they and you kind of mimic that searing action that you get at like high-end steakhouses like i know at morton's like if you look back there in the kitchen they're not fucking grilling that thing up on a stovetop they're sticking it into this crazy hot oven and like so the outside is seared um i think that you can only get that if you have that kind of a grill setup like i definitely know what you're talking about but i always you know one of the ceramic grills i've got a propane grill yeah i've seen them all colors but but and there's several manufacturers they range from like three hundred dollars to like seven hundred dollars something like that um i don't grill much on charcoal grill is better ah if you use propane you taste the meat not the not the smoke oh

bobby do you know what the plaza means my dad says butane is a bastard gas yeah i remember when like peggy and bobby like are cheating on hank by eating charcoal burgers oh it's so good i could taste the mesquite whatever it Yeah, I don't know what the best way to go was. If I were purchasing one and I wanted to get the best, I would get one of those ceramic ones because I like the idea of that. Because what I'm going to do is make steaks if I'm going to go through trouble making my own because hot dogs and hamburgers I can make indoors. Oh, that's cheaper than I thought.

I thought they were four digits. $300 to $700 or so, yeah. Charcoal grills are way cheaper. Oh, no, no, no. I mean, I'm a novice at this, but I'm pretty sure they're like $300, $400, $500 for one of those eggs. Yeah, yeah. Egg may be a brand. Like, that may be what the king daddy of them all is called.

Big green egg. Yeah, apparently that's what all the i'm told it's a status symbol it's like the yeti cooler of grills like you see that in someone's yard and and they're you know a big swinging cock of hamburgers outside yeah and also that i noticed it i wonder how much it comes stripped down i was looking at it and i'm like all right so here's the egg and then you have to buy like the egg stand unless you have like they do in this picture stonework to hold it up and then like there's different stands and there's egg utensils and there's a whole kit to buy and i bet everything every piece of it's expensive. Big green

big green egg, large, 18 1 quarter inch, $850. This is the most popular size. Then you have to look at the accessories. $850. How much is the stand? For the big one it says here. I think it's got... Do you need a cover for it? Is it going to go bad in the weather? That's...

You wouldn't be a cool guy if you didn't have a cover cool they have custom compact islands well i don't know that's the one i would get if if like money was no option but like i would really have to like get into stakes at that point i'd have to like start going to the butcher regularly and getting nice cuts of meat and like always, you have to put the thing to use. I've got a propane grill and I rarely use it. When I do, it's like, eh. That's it's strong suit. I feel like it doesn't get as hot as I want it to, which is what this thing is.

I don't know. It might make a lot of, I'm trying to do this slow, right? Like my wife wants to buy furniture now. I'm like, maybe we should swim a little, you know, and say, I wish we had lounge chairs here or oh we spend all our time on the porch because it's covered you know i wish we had a gazebo like let's i would love to like be in the pool for at least a week and figure out what we want but that's me yeah yeah it makes sense and even that i'm like maybe like if you have a

covered porch you're definitely gonna want an umbrella like six feet away from the covered porch so that you maybe you do i don't know now you might like like i like to picture like the scenario like for me i'd I'm probably going to want to be out there laying in the sun, but also with my phone or something, so it'd be cool if there was enough shade that the sun wasn't on my face and I could look at my phone and the sun was on the rest of me and the water there

and the kids playing and everything this is all stuff that you want to do as you go, you don't want to be like oh, I'm going to go and buy everything that I think I need just enjoy the pool and be like you you know, it would be good. You know, I need a table out here with a couple of chairs. I'll go grab that. And then you, ah, I need an umbrella over there.

You know, I didn't think I would. And now I kind of realized I do. Otherwise you'll go out there and you might be like, ah, I feel like that kind of looks like shit. Well, I've got it now. So I've got to keep all these umbrellas. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, like it, it turns out like we have a um yeah we have like a round teak table on the porch with chairs and stuff you can picture that like if i get a picnic table that sits that bakes in the sun that might just be garbage that no one ever sits at because there's a covered one over there and like that's the kind of thing where i like what taylor said he phrased it really well like yeah you just want to buy it as you go see what you want you know maybe the most important thing is some sort of toy storage that's definitely the smart move yeah so anyway i'm very excited yeah it could be yeah you'll definitely need that i like uh i always liked having a net and playing volleyball in there i never liked basketball basketball was always lame uh volleyball was what was cool uh as far as oh i liked basketball

in the pool because it was just with your friends like it was basically just like a wrestling match where you just like fought each other for the basketball and then like drug people through the shallow end like ah like it was fun because like you got really close to drowning like any kind of fighting in a pool i came so close to drowning i hated it two of my friends who are my age right now two weekends ago they were both hammered at a fucking pool and they started like doing like a wrestling thing you know where you just start fucking with each other or whatever and fighting as an adult in a pool is the worst possible move because it will very quickly go from,

ah, I got you in a headlock, to like one person holds you underwater for two seconds too long and that monkey brain goes into overdrive and you go, you just start whipping around and, you know, somebody, and my friend, I saw him like the next day and he had a big old black eye i'm like what what the fuck happened to you alex he's like yeah uh yeah me and chris we got in a fight in the pool and and i held him underwater a little too long and and i realized that and we both hammered obviously i let him up and before i could say i'm sorry he just so then what happened yeah that would be me i'd be the one to pop

somebody in the fucking eye i do not like being held under the water it makes me very angry i take it much more seriously than on the other side and they should all know that going in under you might get stabbed over this i am playing for keeps if you hold me underwater it's me you know like yeah yeah this isn't it look you can even get a breath of air and come back, and I will still play this game with you. Welcome to my world. You know. Yeah.

Who drags you into the deep end, you know? I remember an adult did that to me as a kid. I just remember thinking, like, ah, I wish i'd been like like one of those uh spear fishermen who swims down below and gets i wish i had my fucking sea abalone knife i could pull it and gut this grown-ass man who held me under for too long i was so mad as a child i remember like nine-year-old me was ready to kill that motherfucker i was so mad about that and that's not like my i don't have a fear of swimming pools or anything but i still remember that cocksucker holding me under for too long and thinking like that grown man there is a grown man like throwing me around i was like i was like 12 13 or something

like that and i remember thinking like i wish i had a knife i remember thinking like i'm ready to cut this grown man right here and now like he held me under too long if i had a knife he probably would have taken the knife because i I was under there and I'm scratching and stuff. Can't get out. Absolutely not. I would have disavowed him right there in the swimming pool. The guts would have got sucked into the pool filtration system.

I'm 12! I'm 12! I'm perfectly capable of gutting at 12. The way that you're talking about this story and reminiscing makes me think that this is one of those memories and one of those files in your brain where you'll just be like washing your hair in the shower one day and you'll be like, oh yeah, Mr. Johnson, you're going to hold me under the water? You're going to hold me

under the water. You'll see what fucking happens. You didn't expect it. Oh, how do you like that, Mr. Johnson? A lot of blood in your pool, eh, Morty? Remember when I was 12 and you were 15 well now I'm 30 you're 68

how you like me now bitch 68 you can't fight I wish I could I wish I could remember the exact relationship that that adult had to my friend I think it was an uncle or something because then I could find him

that's what he deserves but I might hold him under the water for too long. I might do that to him. Might just come in there one night while he's washing his hair and just, uh-oh, uh-oh, oh, that upper body strength's not helping you now, is it? Oh, no.

I've been doing pull-ups on my sex swing. I can hold you under water all day. Let him up. We should call it a show on that note. Yeah. All right. Pinkular Ready,

episode 340. Oh, wait, wait, wait. I need to time. Yeah, sure. I need to synchronize. Yeah. Kyle, anything you need to tell the listeners about?

I don't think so. Check out the ads. I think I'm all good there. Check our ads down below in the description. Hopefully this is the episode where new and fancy audio will be debuted for the patrons. Yes. We just had our Patreon hangout. Had a very good time with those guys.

We did that like yesterday, right? All right. PKA 341. That was fun. Check out all the sponsors. I'm done