Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #342

Episode Date: July 14, 2017

This week on PKA, Matt Farah from The Smoking Tire sits down and the guys talk a lot about cars! Tons of Cars! But they also talk a little Game of Thrones and a very serious and unfortunate pooping event that just happened in the UFC, only on PKA!

PKA episode 342 with our guest Matt. Kyle? Yeah, a couple sponsorships tonight. Smart Mouth, Lift, and Movement Watches. We'll talk about them more later on in the show. Links in the description if you just can't wait. But yeah, I got Matt Ferrer on. What's happening?

Noted car expert. I've been watching your YouTube videos. They are excellent. Thank you. I usually don't like car stuff, but me and one of my friends have been looking at the newest generation of the Mustangs and the Camaros. Yeah. Lots of those videos, so it was fun seeing your Camaro video. Oh, thanks.

I mean, I've sort of taken the McDonald's approach to making car videos, which is to say that I've done math. And the problem with my industry is that not a lot of people do math. And so you end up with a lot of videos that are very pretty and well-produced. And some of them get more views than my videos do. And that's OK. And people will be like, oh, well, this dude's videos are better than yours. And I'm like, yeah, but mine make more money. And that's because I don't spend any.

So I make a lot of videos for not much money, and we do the volume model. And as a result of that, I get to drive everything. So Matt's channel is The Smoking Tire on YouTube. And what I noticed right away is you upload a lot. I was like, well, shit, it's like four videos this week or something like that. Yeah, Monday through Thursday, 7 a.m. Eastern, 52 weeks a year. And it's not all late model stuff.

It's not like every time I look on there, it's like a 2018 something. You had lots of kit cars. No, we do. I mean, if I only had to do – I watched 14. Oh, yeah. If I could only do new cars, like there aren't enough new cars. Like there just aren't enough cars to to make that many videos so

i take all comers man and um and it what has allowed me to do is uh is create this sort of weird niche where i can do modified cars and stock cars and old cars and new cars and and the the real sweet spot i think the long play is to do videos of cars that came out before YouTube. And so, like, if a new car comes out like the 2018 Mustang you're talking about, there's going to be like 50 videos of that car. But I could be the only guy with a video of like a

2001 Accord. So anyone for the end of time searching for that will just end up... Yeah, you'd be shocked, dude. He's got the best Honda Accord video. A lot of these videos, they're in convertibles, and as someone who has recorded in the wind

before, I know what a nightmare that is. You've got great audio. I mean, the windsock there, and I get that, but that thing's dialed in perfectly so that two men can sit in a convertible roadster and have a conversation while you're hauling ass. Well, my new shit is boat videos i'm doing boat reviews now because i'm like i've done so many cars i'm just kind of bored of them and so i'm running out of cars and so you didn't go to

motorcycles running out of motorcycles are really hard really really hard to to because not just uh it's not just about getting the video on the bike like I've got to get my camera case to the place where I'm going, and I can't do that on a bike. So I have to take a car to a place to ride a motorcycle. Logistically, it's just a nightmare. But boats are the jam.

You've never really had a challenge until you've tried to get an audio of a coherent conversation in a 70 mile an hour speedboat. It's really difficult. But good to be here with you, boys. So thanks for having me. I only saw the videos that Kyle was linking to me, which were all super awesome cars. And I guess one of them was a kit car, but I know little enough that it looked pretty cool to me. Do you ever do, I guess you mentioned the 2001 Accord,

but do you ever do like, all right, I i'm gonna do a ford fiesta like a 98 and then like kind of do sarcastic ripping on it like that style or when you're doing it are you still like what an excellent value no i mean i no i i mean i don't i don't really sugarcoat it i i you know what i do find is um i find that if you have an open mind i'm impressed a lot more often than i am disappointed i find that if you have an open mind, I'm impressed a lot more often than I am disappointed. I find that there's a lot of cars that I think negatively of for one reason or another. And then I'll go, whether I've driven them before or not, and,000 Civics and $1,000 Mitsubishi Galants or whatever and been like,

you know what? This shit ain't so bad. I've found a lot of people who've gotten totally decent and reasonably fun vehicles for under $2,000. I've bought a lot of $2,000 cars myself. You'd be surprised what you get. What are you driving, man? What do I own two thousand dollar cars myself. You'd be surprised what you get. Oh, hell yeah. Real good value. What are you driving, man?

What do I own? How many cars do I have right now? Oh, YouTube channel's doing well. He can't count his cars. The worst thing ever said. So my daily driver is a Ford Focus RS, the new one of those. Okay. And I put daily driver in quotes because I got it to be a daily driver, uh, for in LA where I live. And I found out it's a fucking terrible daily driver.

Um, and so I then had to go out and get a daily driver. Um, so now my new daily driver is a 2001 Mercedes SL 500. That is the fucking tits. It's delightful. It's the perfect LA cruiser. Get one of those for about $2,000.

Oh, you could get a shit one. Yeah, but I got a good one. And Clarion hooked up the system. I got a dope system in it that just bumps now. What year is it? 2001. The last year of the boxy SLs system. I got a dope system in it that just bumps now. What year is it? 2001. The last year of the boxy SLs before

they went to the curbed 4i SLs. You don't have to tell me that. I know. That's a lot. Tupac, picture me rolling in my 500 Benz. I was watching you driving. It looked like you were driving in a really nice locale, like somewhere in California, I guess.

Angeles National Forest, probably. Yeah, yeah, Angeles National Forest is where I drive. You look like you're a good driver. Like, what's your background with driving? Are you just like a regular guy who's into it? Or have you got track time? Like, what's your experience with that? Both.

A lot of track time, a lot of practice. I've done a lot of racing schools i'm definitely not a professional race car driver uh if you you know i'm either like a good amateur or a bad pro you know um i'd rather be a good amateur yeah good i'll take good amateur i'm not i'm okay i've had a lot of practice i've had a lot of experience i don't have that thing you know the the racing drivers have the thing where it's like that at win at all costs that drive at 11 tenths kind of thing i don't have that i fear death and paralysis and writing checks and so so i back it i back it down a little but i race for fun um i do a amateur like endurance racing and stuff like that and um oh also just back it up i have a fox body mustang like project car there was a police car that's crazy and i have

a an older aston martin that's a total money pit but i love it what'd you do before youtube because it sounds like you're doing youtube full-time now right you're making four for the last like 10 years yeah yeah but before, I owned a car. 2007. Wow. 2007 was my first YouTube video. But wait. Oh, jeez. So you really are running out of cars.

You made it sound like you were doing it full time since 2007. Is that true? Yes. Really? So with video one, you just dove in the deep end. Well, I had a real business. I owned a car wash with my friend Larry. And my friend Larry also makes youtube videos now

he's one of the best detailers in the world and he has a detailing channel called ammo nyc and he has his own product line and shit and we had a car wash together and we started making videos at the car wash of like we had a little driving club and started making like these real ghetto music videos like you go to search new york motor club on youtube and there's these super shit 360p videos that we were making that were like music videos and then uh and i that that was way more fun than than owning a car you said you did and you said you did like endurance, I raced in a series called American Endurance Racing. You ever hear of Alex Roy? Oh, yeah.

Alex Roy is one of my best friends. I met that guy in New York. He's a maniac. We were on the roof of the skyscraper having dinner at this place or having drinks. And we were pretty drunk. He was drunker. he comes stumbling over to our table and uh he sobered up before we left but you know not he seems drunk at first now that i think back no but he wasn't drunk that's just so he's sober actually he's just fucking crazy he's

got a steering wheel in his hand and he's wearing this leather jacket that looks a little bit like he's in the ss but it's covered with these these insignia and buttons inside yeah and he's like and he's like you're that that Russian guy from the YouTube you blow shit up I know you I know you and I was like hey how's it going he's like let me tell you who I am and he sits down he tells us this whole story about how he's got the world record for the cannonball run and all this car stuff and how like the FBI and all these agencies have him, they bring him in to find, get the backstory for like, how did you defeat all of our countermeasures?

How did you drive from one coast to the other at like 150 miles per hour or whatever and never get caught? And he travels around now and gives all those speeches. He's a cool guy. So he lays all that out to us. Yeah. Well, among other things, I'm sure. He hosts a television show with me as well.

He's on Drive on NBC Sports with me. We just shot together last week. I didn't know that. That me as well he's on drive on mbc sports with me we just shot together last i didn't know that that's great on my podcast this week he uh will mention me see if he remembers because like after we got done there uh one of the guys that was with us was like don't you still own part of the box which is like this nightclub in new york and he's like yeah but it's just a fraction like i i just a little of the box and we're like this thing says he owns the box exactly and and we were and the guy's like, yeah, but it's just a fraction. Just a little of the box. Just enough that says he owns the box. Exactly. And the guy's like, you got to go.

They do performance art, and it's out of this world. It'll blow your mind. Yeah, yeah. It's like weird shit on stage, like crazy shit on stage. And $800 bottle service. He owns the box like Jay-Z owns the Nets. Well, let me tell you what kind of service he got because i was impressed so so we go downstairs and he's like have you ever seen a three-wheel morgan and i'm

like i don't know what that is and he's like and here's his three-wheel morgan which is a car that looks like a silver cigar with three fucking wheels and a big ass engine and he puts on his helmet and he's like technically you should also be wearing a helmet but you'll be fine and we take off so he's just hauling ass like this thing's loud as fuck it's a hot rod and it's a harley yeah it's late night new york and he's taking corners sharp giving me like this tour like yeah there's where john lennon died i own part of that building too and and all of a sudden blue lights and i'm like oh shit let's get the gigs up i ain't got no helmet uh this thing cannot be road legal anyway and these two like new york uh detectives get out they're wearing

like yankees gear but they've got badges and guns and i'm like shit we are so fucked they just stopped in the middle of the road in new york they don't care just blocking the whole street to pull us over he doesn't let them say a word He introduces himself before they can say a thing, starts talking about what he does, and offers them free tickets to his next seminar or whatever for law enforcement. The whole thing is insta-squashed. They didn't want any ID, any bullshit whatsoever. They shook his hand, took the tickets, and waved us goodbye. And then we went to the box and saw some fucked up shit. That is the perfect Alex Roy story. that is how every alex roy story begins that's literally

i could have told you that story without even knowing anything about it that's yeah the morgan three-wheeler if if you guys don't know about the three-wheeler it's it's a it's a brand new car but it looks like a car from like the 20s rights, right? Two wheels in the front, one wheel in the back. Harley Davidson V-twin engine hanging on the front bumper. It's fucking tiny. I mean, it's like a coffin-sized thing. Really tiny. And super loud.

And because it only has, you know, one wheel at the back, it has very little rear traction. So you can slide it, like, all over the place. And people have no idea what it is. back, it has very little rear traction so you can slide it, like, all over the place. And people have no idea what it is, and so you can drive, like, a complete cock bag in this thing, and no one will say anything. You can park it anywhere. It's like you showed up at the

Batmobile or the Ghostbusters car. It's just like, do whatever the fuck he wants. We got to look. You know, like, nobody cares. So Alex's gig is he's got this, like, bucket, you know, like, nobody cared. So Alex's gig is he's got this, like, bucket, you know, like, I don't want to use the term Nazi helmet, but it's like a bucket helmet.

It's like leather, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, He puts it on his arm when he goes out because he's got to carry it with him. And he puts his phone and shit in the – and he uses it as like a purse. But then his security system for the car is that he takes off the steering wheel. So when he goes to the club like you saw him, he's got a man purse, helmet, and a steering wheel. It's brilliant, really. He's in the right profession to be hiding Nazi paraphernalia because SS can just mean super sport. Exactly. I'm very particular about the highest race of cars.

Only the best. But his schtick is the German highway patrol. That's sort of his schtick. But he is hilarious. But when I do endurance racing, I do it on an actual racetrack, not across the country. And I bet you would never pull over a competitor with lights on your car or anything like that. Never. actual racetrack not across the country and i bet you would never pull over a competitor uh with

lights on your car or anything never never i did used to do that i did like gumball and bull run and stuff like that back in the day when i was like a child and and now as an adult i take it to the track bro keep it on the track bro but that's a that's a perfect alex roy story though it's exactly a perfect Alex Roy story. Kyle, I want to know what kind of shit, because you alluded to it, what was happening at the box? Yeah, what is on that stage? So what they told me, it was going to, so it's always different stuff. It's like, I'm sure there's different acts on the stage every week.

Maybe they got some people who are regulars who come back. But they told me that a man may or may not eat an entire pizza and then vomit it into a bucket and then consume It back out of the bucket. Why tease you why not say well at 7 a man eats pizza until he vomits and then Like that's a very bad way to keep business like if you went to a movie theater And they're like we may or may not have a showing of Shutter Island at 930 You're welcome to stick around and see like I'm saying Before that's what they had seen when they went there like last time Aiden's like last time I went over there I had a fella ate a whole pizza and he vomited in a bucket and he ate it right back out and he sang a song

It was fucked And he's like these titties and arse and he's got a shot and I'm like alright I know I'm sold. But we get there. I remember at one point, it was difficult to tell the sex of the two individuals, but I'm pretty sure that a woman came out on stage with a big strap on. There was lots of leather and prosthetics. There was lots of leather, lots of prosthetics going on.

But this woman comes out in this full dominatrix uniform with big titties, big fake titties, like out, exposed. And she's got a big strap-on cock and she's walking a man on a dog leash and he's all dog leather hood on and I think he had maybe some

leather boy shorts with the ass crack taken out of him. The kind of outfit we all have in the safe. A collar. She lures him, she brings him out there and jerks him around and then she sits him in a chair and I think she put whipped cream in her ass and shoves his face in there. And then maybe she whipped creamed his ass and fucked him a little. But not like a prolonged fucking.

I didn't feel like I was watching pornography. No, no, it's not porn. Not at all. She put this thing to the balls in the suit. This is performance art. And he didn't even yank. And so that went on for a bit until she fully humiliated him and then he disappeared and the lights go down

and they come back on and this lady who's very hot, this black lady comes out completely nude as well, except imagine this, she's wearing a choker and attached to that choker is like a beaded curtain. But it's like all the way around so there's like long

beads hanging on her body it's like the diva plov laguna from fifth element if you look closely you'll see everything at one point or another like if you see her vagina now, oh now it's gone there it is, now it's gone

are these just like free swinging beads like you'd see in the naughty section of an old video store yes exactly like that there's a beaded curtain that she's wearing around her neck and it drapes over her entire body and covers Are these just free swinging beads like you'd see in the naughty section of an old video store? Yes, exactly. This is a beaded curtain that she's wearing around her neck, and it drapes over her entire body and covers very little, but there's so many beads that they are swaying as she sings, and she was a great singer. Nobody cared about her titties by the time she was done singing.

It was excellent. I don't remember what the third act was. We got pretty fucking wasted. When you said that she started singing, I don't know what it is about watching people sing in public, but immediately I was like, oh, well, I hope they just bring out the guy in the gimp suit getting fucked again so I don't have to listen to someone sing. I don't know what it is, but even watching movies, if something's happening and then one of the characters in the heat of the moment starts with a...

I'm like, no, off. Off. I cannot watch people sing. It makes my stomach hurt. I'm with you. I'm kind of with you. I'm kind of with you on this. Singing well. But the box is a unique place. It's the kind of place you really do want to own a couple points of.

I mean, I don't blame it at all. When we pulled up to the box, there was this line like you would see in a movie, like, right? You always see like the nerds getting kicked out of that incredibly long line that's like two and a half people wide and 50, 60 people long. We pulled up to the fucking door and they were like, come right in, boss. And like open that shit up and me and him like just cut in line in front of 300 people. And then went like, I wasn't right against the stage, but I then went like I Wasn't right against the stage I but I was like one table back from right against the stage and then they like bring it we pay every table like in

Goodfellas and put it down a front Almost they made sure we had a really nice table there so much and there weren't tables to be had that there's like 15 good tables or something like that in this place so like having a table is great we had like a booth and table a couple chairs so much so that like it was like a magnet for hot chicks you didn't have to talk to them they wouldn't really even talk to you that much other than a wink and a smile they would just slide on in and sit on your lap because we had somewhere to sit and we had like a table full of booze you know for 800 you get a bottle of absolute and three bottles of mixers. I can't afford not to afford not right

Glad I didn't have to pick up that tab that was so I had to pay for drinks there once and I remember getting Getting two drinks, and I got two Red Bull vodkas, and it was $42 Be like God Alex and being like dude what the fuck come on kyle i was gonna i was gonna be going or i was thinking initially about those shows like who that seems like such a niche market who is this going for but the more i think about it when you think about every other strip club in the area people playing in their night they go what's gonna be over there at the purple hippo what's gonna be naked ladies dancing to the same six songs what's gonna happen over there more naked dancing to the same six songs. What's going to happen over there?

More naked ladies dancing to the same six songs. Well, let's take a dice roll over at the box, because it might just be bananas, and even if we hate it, we just go look at naked ladies. I promise you, this was not a strip club by any means. That's not what was going on here. You're not selling it. This wasn't like

performance art as in, yeah, some naked chicks, and they do appear wet every now and then. This was something different. And the crowd was not a strip club crowd. It was a club crowd. Everybody was dressed really nicely. How closely were people watching as the gimp man was being molested up there? Was it people sipping?

Were the people sipping like, you know, this is supposed to reprimand American imperialism? Or was it more just like, oh,, this is supposed to reprimand American imperialism or like, more just like, oh, Jesus, when's the bead lady come up? Like, more just like erections. For the most part, she didn't know what they were getting into, except

for the girl on my lap. I remember her when she saw the strap on getting inserted, she went, what the fuck is this? She said it really quietly. Prelude for tonight. This is foreshadowing, baby. I figured you knew everybody who sits

in this booth is up next. Line up to the left. That's fucked. That's a great time. That sounds like a really good night. I'm upset he didn't call me to join in with that. That sounds good. Also, the table

was Dakota Meyer, the guy who was, at the time, the only living recipient of the Medal of Honor. He'd won a Medal of Honor. That's why we were out. We were having drinks and dinner with him. Wait, hold on. That's the least interesting part of the story.

The Medal of Honor winner at your table. What was this guy sitting there thinking? Like, what did I fight for? I think he was young, right? I think he knew exactly what he fought for. But I'm blocked by this other guy's coolness. And also, I know he... So Dakota just had been on the Bill O'Reilly factor,

and, like, just had. And so, like, after he got off the show, we all went to dinner at this place, and it's, like, like, just had, and so, like, after he got off the show, we were gonna, we all went to dinner at this place, and it's, like, me, Dakota Meyer, uh, Kitty, and two other men, uh, and, uh, and we have dinner, oh, and one of the other men is this major that the military has assigned to Dakota

Meyer to be his handler, bodyguard, make sure he doesn't fuck up, cause he's kind of a, a, uh, you know, a... Normal people don't win Medal of Honors. We don't want him falling drunk in the street. They're both so drunk. The Major was drunk.

Anybody there. And we were all drunk. The Major got lost at one point. And not long after we got to that club and met your friend, I think Dakota went home. But he was really fun to meet and just hear his stories because he did some crazy shit. I remember you told one of his stories on this show.

And the video got taken down as a community guideline strike. He killed a man for us. I mean, there's no polite way to explain it. And then... Finger up. Alex Roy could upstage a Medal of Honor winner. That is a thing Alex Roy could do. And he would do it shamelessly.

It's amazing. He's like 29. I was imagining you sitting there with a Bastogne veteran who's like 89. Nice, Alex. Alex is like 45? He's talking about Dakota Myers. He had pictures of Dakota Myers being really old. Oh, you mean, you were thinking Medal of Honor from like Vietnam. I was thinking World War II. I'm like, what the fuck? Did this guy like invest in this in the early 40s when it was like a jazz?

He was the guy that was like For white people There with that World War two bad he's all shaky We've got a few few drinks in him to get the stories for that all of a sudden your buddy comes over that SS helmet and that Next thing you know this guy's coming at him with a knife And that big SS plops down. Next thing you know, this guy's coming at him with a knife. That would be cool to meet

any age Medal of Honor recipient. I don't actually know the story of this guy. What is it? What war was he in? Basically, they were a bunch of Americans trapped. Americans and, I think, good Afghanis trapped in a valley, taking fire from

elevated positions on either side. And he and his friend disobeyed direct orders and took a Humvee with a.50 cal on top into the fray. And he was shooting, his friend was driving, and they made multiple trips in and out of the hot zone, killing the enemy, rescuing wounded Americans. And I think he got out at one point and provided, like, I think he's a trained one point and provided like i think

he's a trained medic a combat medic gangster as fuck got out like i got back together again he's bleeding out and then uh an afghani came at him and they engaged in some sort of hand-to-hand combat that's which ended him killing that guy with a rock and then he goes back and this is the guy up and then there was several trips in and out it's one of the stories that let you think it's over and then he's like and then we went back you didn't go to sleep after that you are the nap i just watched that hacksaw ridge shit it's like that it's like the dude went back how many times like the fuck yeah yeah and you want to talk about like oh go ahead like exposed up top you know like this much of his body sticking up out of the thing the whole time, you know, as he's, like, driving around through that valley.

That's got to be, like, an out-of-body experience as you're doing something like that, you know? Because, like, if you, in that moment, like, knew, like, all the danger, and it seems like the human mind would just, like, short circuit. Like, because you hear about that with, like, soldiers, like, they get out of it. And even in the Band of Brothers interviews, they talked about that. Obviously, that's World War II, but they talk about how they get out of the firefight. And they're like, holy shit. What just happened? What did I do?

How am I alive? I don't know. Man, thank God. Thank God we weren't born like 80 years earlier. That would have sucked. I'm really glad that no part of my life is anything like that. Nothing like that. I don't want any part of that shit. life is anything like that. Nothing like that. I don't want any part of that shit.

This is week eight of the Model T review. Fuck that, dude. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Oh, there he is. But you want to talk about upstaging in car? I got to interview Dick Van Dyke today, like this morning. He's like 92.

His smile would light up a fucking stadium this guy but he talked for a minute about his grand he said his grandmother went to see abraham lincoln speak do that fucking math real quick really your eyes right there sometimes like it shocks you how like it's only a cup i go both directions on this. Sometimes I'm like, dude, stop blaming your problems on the past. That was 150 years ago. And then you're like, oh, this old guy's grandmother saw that. It suddenly doesn't seem so long. Martin Van Buren, I think.

The president, Martin Van Buren. I think his great. John Tyler. Okay, John Tyler's great-grandson is still alive? It's not his great-grandson. I just looked it up to remember. It's John Tyler, as of 2017, still has two living grandsons.

He died in 1862, but he had 15 children and fathered some late in life. His living grandchildren weren't born until the 20s during the Coolidge administration. So that's like two lifetimes, or three lifetimes, I guess. That's crazy. Two full ones.

That's just insane. We really are such a young country. Like that saying of like in the U.S., 100 years is a long time. And in Europe or in the U.K. or whatever, 100 miles is a long distance. For people who don't have instant recall on this, John Tyler was the 10th president of America. And he was in office from 1841 to 1845 so that's fucking crazy right i have a friend uh named chris harris who's on uh the the british show called top gear which is a pretty well-known car show in the uk year you say yeah

so my friend so he's also on on the nbc sports show and he talks shit to me all the time because he lives in a house in Wales. He lives out in the middle of fucking nowhere. And his house was built in 1340. 1340. And I'll talk about something that I think is old. He'll be like, mate, my house is 400 years older than your country, mate. They get a new house.

Yeah. The insulation. what are the r values on those walls his house is like it used to be like a a convent or something and his living room was where they kept the cows like that it's really it is as old as it's really that old though or is it like you know how your body replaces itself every seven years? They built shit well. They built shit real well back then. The walls are all like original. Oh, yeah. When I get my masonry done, I say, I want this done to the specifications of 1340. I'd like this done in the darkest, modern brick and mortar houses.

What do you say, my lord? Take some of the red clay around here. Put some straw on it. That's how we make our mortar. We read a while back, I read about Japan. It seems like all of their houses, every single one of them have this sort of planned obsolescence built into them. They don't have a home improvement industry at all the way we do. Home Depot in Lowe's is massive here, right?

Because everybody's always redoing the living room or remodeling their bathroom. They don't do that there. They just fucking let the house fall apart and buy a new one. That sounds right. You don't see a lot of shitty buildings in Japan, though. Yeah, yeah. That's stupid. LA is the one thing I don't

like about living in LA. Well, there's a few things I don't like about living in LA, but like, there's nothing in LA that's old. Everything in LA is like 60 years or newer in LA well there's a few things I don't like about living in LA but like there's nothing in LA that's old everything in LA is like 60 years or newer like there's just nothing here that's old and where I go back to New York I like I like seeing old stuff it's nice yeah good good for your character are you from New York originally yeah yeah I've been here like 10 years yeah that was when we uh went to Boston for the first time that was one of the things that I liked was there's a lot of historical stuff there. I'm from Atlanta. And so during the Civil War, all that shit got burnt up.

The whole city got burnt down. So we don't have much stuff that's older than the Civil War here. So it was cool going up there and seeing all those statues in the park. We went for a run in there. In LA, we don't have much shit that's older than television. You know, so it's not. Shit was just built as movie props. And then they built real interiors

and were like, people should live here. There's plenty of water. It's a great place. I lived in Atlanta for a while. I lived in Buckhead when I was a kid. Okay, yeah. Went to the Westminster School. I lived up in Alpharetta for two or three years.

Atlanta's nice. I'm a fan of Atlanta, actually. I'm a fan myself. I like it here. I don't like the weather so much. It seems like all this week for maybe two weeks now, it rains every day for an hour, and the sun comes out, and it's 100% humidity and 90 degrees.

My impression of Atlanta is that security guard at that mall who doesn't take any shit and tasers. I know, but that's what I think of when I think of Atlanta. Wait, which security guard? Yeah, so there's this black security guard at this place called the Mall of Atlanta, and it's not a mall at all. Atlanta has some pimp-ass malls, some really nice modern malls, but this is called the Mall of Atlanta.

It's really run down. It's one floor. You walk in some sliding doors off of Ghetto Street into this flea market jockey lot type thing that's indoors. This guy, his unfortunate job is to maintain order there. He does it

with a GoPro on himself, a body camera, way before body cameras, and a fucking X-26 taser. He is not afraid to deploy that taser if he needs to. It makes for some real funny internet Videos he's tased a lot of Annoying people that you want to see get tased

But what's shocking is how he He'll be outnumbered you know There will be 12 Angry people and he seems Completely unfazed he's not scared at all He'll focus in on the worst behaving one And tell them they gotta go And there's like 9 people like we're not going anywhere y'all gotta go you gotta go you gotta go

back up back up back up oh yeah now i know now you know the guy now i know this well i'm known for my black lady with like eight kids the kids are all going you gay you gay yeah children yeah where i live uh i live in venice beach which is a fucking shit show uh every day of the week it's just it's just craziness down here and uh the parking situation is a real disaster in venice beach and and the parking like meter maids are so hardcore that they got their own reality show called parking course that it's a real thing and it's just like 10 really angry proud black women that don't take no shit from nobody and i've gotten into like proper altercations with these bitches before i have one of them tell me once like i was in a fucking passenger loading zone while my cameraman ran inside to pick up his to-go food order.

It's like a five-minute loading zone and I'd been there for 60 seconds and this lady tried to make me move. I was like, oh no, my boy's just picking up his burrito. Does it say burrito loading zone? She actually used like this is not a burrito loading zone. Fucking hell. I've gone to

so many...mates yeah i guess she could cut it over tsa do you think that they're abused they're like a little power tripping well yeah but it's like i can't on the one hand yes a hundred percent yes on the other hand just knowing what i know about the stupidity of tourists in my area, I wouldn't want to be in charge of dealing with them. You know what I mean? And like, anytime, like I have a garage, but anytime I park my car in the street, it gets fucked up. Both me and my girl's cars have been keyed. And like people, I live, I live on a one way street. People drive the wrong way down at 30 miles an hour, like constantly, you know? So I don't even want to know what it's

like to be a police officer around here it's got to be just a disaster but but the burrito loading zone line was memorable and parking wars is a real show that's that's that's sad i'd rather watch steven seagal's show than that that doesn't sound good at all so i saw that france oh sorry where he is a shepherd well i mean i gotta make sure that you saw that France, Steven Seagal has a show where he is a shepherd's, well, I mean, I gotta make sure that you're aware that Steven Seagal has a show where he is literally a sheriff's deputy in Louisiana, and he enforces

the law with a gun and a badge, and when he encounters, like, these people, it's like cops, except that Steven Seagal is a fucking officer. Sounds more like Reno 911. And he's like, he's like, bro, you're messing up. You gotta get your life straight, bro. It's like Dog the Bounty Hunter.

It's like Dog the Bounty Hunter except with Steven Seagal. And a gun, because Dog never had a gun. I'll give Dog that credit. And it never made sense to me until I found out there was a reason. There's a reason he doesn't have a gun. He's a goddamn felon. He's a goddamn felon. He's a goddamn felon. He doesn't have a gun. He's a goddamn felon. I knew it.

He's a goddamn felon. He can't have a gun. It's funny how much that comes up. I was telling somebody the other day. We were talking about Snoop Dogg. And I was like, yeah, you know, one time Snoop Dogg was going to come and shoot some guns with us. And then we found out he was a felon. And we had to put the kibosh on that.

He's a fucking felon. But wait, did you know, back to Steven Seagal, allegedly, according to the local newspapers in, is it Jefferson Parish, I believe? You know where I'm going with this, don't you? Oh, yeah. Oh, I am steeped in Steven Seagal. Allegedly, Steven Seagal ran a brothel while being the sheriff's deputy. Allegedly. I'm going to use the word allegedly again, because I don't personally possess the evidence of it.

And what he also did, like he's had a couple of sexual harassment suits because he was in the practice. He would hire these really hot assistants, and then they'd be like, well, I want to go home now. And he's like, you just stay with me. They're like, nah, this is your house, and I'm done assisting. And he's like, I got something you could use is your house and i'm done assisting and he's like i got something you could use some assistance with in the bedroom if you know what i mean and they're like no like two or three girls had this problem with him getting all rapey and trying to like imprison them uh steven seagal is just a real interesting thing or is this kind of like the john travolta wanting like men to touch his balls it It never made national news, but all the local newspapers

from Jefferson Parish were writing stories about this. I swear, yeah, if you Google Jefferson Parish Steven Scull brothel, which I'm about to do right now. Let us know your findings, because I'm curious about that. I don't picture him having the charisma to effectively run a brothel. You need to be

a Littlefinger-esque guy. Keep extending potential treats and withholding them. Let's just say that there is no fucking shortage of results if you google Jefferson Parish Steven Seagal brothel. I mean, honestly. Sensei Seagal is a bit of a

and I'm sure he picked that up in Japan when he was studying there. Didn't he get asylum in Russia or citizenship in Russia? He may have dual citizenship. I know that there's, like, he went and hung out with Vladimir Putin. I think Putin is, like, a Sambo. He might be a guest of Putin right now.

Yeah, exactly. I know he has been a guest of Putin because I've seen the pictures of them together and stuff. And then I saw him doing this dance fighting and throwing guys with his chi and shit. And then I also saw him dance. And I don't know which was more pathetic. The pretend dance fighting where he was throwing people with his chi

or the actual dancing that he was trying to do with his big belly. You know what's going to really screw him is when Putin has him over for a play date again and then they both start doing their sambo and mr like six eight seagal doesn't know to let putin win and then mr seagal's wasting away in a gulag like have you ever seen the clips of putin being like uh oh now vladimir putin will take the ice and play with khl all-stars and then like he will be skating around with them and he's not good at all and it's clear that like

Kovalchuk and all those Russians are like well you have to do not take from Vladimir No, you know what happened to the last guy? Let's just say he's not in the defensive core anymore. They're diving next to him like when they let the autistic kid play football and everyone's like missing tackles. You keep looking at him like, you look down at the ice, he's down embedded in the ice. You can see the panic on like the goalies as the goalie is standing there and like, I played goalie

growing up, so I know like when you're trying to let a kid score on like a little joke shot, sometimes it can be hard because you'll like try and move too quick and you accidentally stop it. You can see these goalies like, oh Jesus Christ, oh my children, I pray for you, please just get by me. And sometimes he accidentally stops it and that's the end of that goalie. That's why they haven't made very big leaps and bounds in the Olympics the past few years. Too many of them shipped off to the gulag.

You know, if Vladimir was allowed to play in the Olympics, they'd probably do much better. You know what? I don't think anyone in Russia would dispute that. At least not publicly. The best Steven Seagal story is the one where he was on a movie set and the stunt coordinator

was talking to him and Steven's telling the guy he's like, I gotta wait out of any choke. You can't choke me. And he's like, no, no, no. There's this thing called the rear naked choke and like you're just kind of fucked if you let me do it to you no no i get out of his choke so he puts him in a rear naked choke immediately steven hits the guy in the balls the guy goes and then tightens up steven falls asleep and shits himself this is judo g labelle who did it right that's

absolutely right and when gene And I have never heard Gene LaBelle tell the story, but I've heard Joe Rogan tell the story that Gene LaBelle tells, and it's really funny. He's like, you know, I put him to sleep and I guess he went to the bathroom. And then I heard from a third party, who was it? Maybe it was Kevin Hart or somebody like that, like a celebrity who was on set

and he also saw this shit goes down. He's like, and then he just heard and stephen ran off to the bathroom didn't that happen really recently with the one of the female ufc fighters like she got herself and it was nasty dude so i've seen a lot of fighters shit themselves yes this is my area of expertise i've seen a lot of fighters shit themselves. And usually there's like a brown stain that you can see through the shorts. Like, oh, that's not a sweat stain. That is poop.

And sometimes, on bad occasions, like a little turd ball, like smaller than a golf ball, will escape out the leg of the board shorts or something. Not this woman. Not this woman. There were like, she had an abnormally large shit in the octagon. And then it got like spread around on the canvas.

And there were like big, like palm sized shit stains. Oh my God. I think Kyle's finding it right now. He's got the, I'm finding the shit video face on. Yeah, yeah. And the best part I was thinking of,

like we're friends with a UFC fighter named Joe Lozon He's uh, I don't know if he still has the record for most win bonuses the night, but in any case He had a fight of the year And there was so much of his blood on the canvas that the UFC sent him that canvas You know, they took it off the mat and sent it to him. I wonder I wonder Keeping it they're not gonna reuse that they can't reuse it I wonder. It's just keeping it. They're not going to reuse that. Yeah, they can't reuse it.

It's like a Jackson Pollock and shit. That's going to be worth something someday. It's capitalism, maybe. That's disgusting. That's hilarious. I don't know where this image is coming from, but it will give you a little bit of a hint. On the right, you have what I would consider a normal pooping incident, right? That's guys, Yul Romero.

I happen to know his ass. But on the left, you have this woman. That's gone badly. Yeah, that's a lot of poop. And she was cool about it. It's smeared, and they are rolling in it. Just so everyone who's listening to this knows. This isn't like two girls are standing up, like, boxing,

and there's a little bit of shit on the floor. Two women are rolling around, hugging each other, and practicing jiu-jitsu in shit smeared canvas. And it's, like, brownish-green smeared. Is there an actual video of this somewhere? That's just a still. There must be. Yeah, there's a pay-per-view

and it's real recent. But she was super cool about it. Like afterwards, she's like, hey, you know, I'm disappointed, but I tried my best tonight. Shit happens.

Not shit. Hashtag shit happens. And I'm like, I see what you did there. I tipped my hat. I think she handled it as good as is possible if that's what she did.

Yeah. Well, as good as is possible is two girls, one cup. That's as good as is possible if that's what she did. Well, as good as is possible is Two Girls One Cup. That's as good as is possible. Have you ever gone back and watched Two Girls One Cup? I haven't watched it since it was the thing in 2004 or whatever. And if you go back

now, it really just cements how much the internet has gotten worse and desensitized you. By the end of the video, you're you're like well no one was beheaded you know an animal didn't break in and tear the jugular out of someone like you know it's a little it's a little passe it's just some shit eating when did it change it's gasoline

here's here's the poop video oh you found the video I just got a better picture for the for the audience here. I really want to pull this up. Is it going to mess up my stream? No, we do this all the time, actually. Oh, you do? OK, cool.

Yeah, queue up at 0 seconds. It's only a 22-second video, nicely done. Maybe I can. And then I'll count down. I'll say, 1, 2, 3, play, and we'll all watch it together. OK, got it. Is everyone queued up at 0? Yes up at zero yes, sir one two three play Has no bomb someone if someone has gone through the trouble of putting little arrows there, which is

Day in case the shit wasn't wasn't oh there's poop This is like oh man, this is a rough one. Oh... It's actually not the girl in the blue shorts. No, no. He stepped right in it! Did he? I thought it was Mario Yamasaki. Fuck him.

Wait, did the ref stepped in it? Yeah. Yeah, the ref stepped right in it. Oh, he did say that. It could be a qualification, in my opinion. I'm not kidding. And to Woody's point of, like, a reasonable shit, this was not a little bit of brown in the pant area. This was, like, you know how they talk about how bears eat a bunch of straw and such before they hibernate to make, like, a plug in their ass? It was like that came out, and then the subsequent liquid poured out.

I did not know that about bears you know what's really shocking about this video I'm like 60% that's true because someone who makes videos for a living what's really shocking is this video has 133,000 views and only 47 thumbs up that's to me that's 21 thumbs down I mean if we do what we just did you're like like, click that shit. Alright, I'm gone.

Confirmed, I see. I guess 68 people or whatever who had very strong opinions about it one way or the other. They worked with that content creator who put those arrows in and did the zoom and pan and zoom on the shit. That was very helpful. I don't think they appreciated that guy really. That guy, you know, with the arrows and the zooming... Give a thumbs up what do you I know it'll tweet it out and everything I don't thumbs up every video top guys top comment be sure to like and subscribe okay okay okay well you know I was confused as to what to do and now that I know uh shucks i've closed a lot of tabs since then all right be sure to like

and subscribe guys i am going to uh i'll do half that i'll like the video so anyone who anyone who follows me on twitter will know precisely when this part of the show happened there it is ufc's been kind of lame this year, but there's a good fight this weekend, I think. I want to see Shevchenko and Nunez battle it out. I have for some time. They're the main event, right?

Romero, Whitaker. Whitaker, yeah. They're calling him Bobby Knuckles, and I'm like, I don't want to call him that. I guess the other fight I want to see is Pettis and Miller. I want to see that. I think Miller's going to fuck Pettis up.

And then the next event, I only care about the Nunez fight with this very next event, but after that at 214, you get John Jones and Cormier. And then, I think, what's his name uh cowboys fighting so roni he's fighting uh matt lawler right uh-huh i do robbie lawler

uh let me make sure i'm right about that yeah robbie lawler yeah okay um dude the the i don't know why i care about this but i like it that Bisping's champ. I think I might like it because everybody else hates it. If you don't follow the UFC at all, Bisping was, I guess they call him a gatekeeper, which means kind of right below the top tier guys, but never the top guy. And then he only got a title shot. What does that mean? They have to fight him to get to the title shot? Is that how that works?

I don't know shit about UFC. You might call a gatekeeper like the fifth best guy in the division, right? Never the man, but good, right? Good, but a couple times it was like, if you win this fight, we'll give you a title shot, and he lost it. That happened to him like three times. And then

what happened is he got a title shot. I guess the guy that kicked his ass the year before only because Weidman, who was who was gonna have it got hurt so with two weeks notice they couldn't find anyone to take the shot and he's like i'll do it you know i'm shooting a movie right now i'm kind of in shape i'll do it you know because he was only staying in shape so he looked good for the movie because he's vain and uh which is i'm quoting him i'm not guessing and uh he takes this fight and somehow gets a left hook on this guy,

knocks him out, and he's the champ. So then they drag out the corpse of Dan Henderson, who fights him at like 42 years old, I think. And now he has a title defense. And it's like, holy smokes, this guy who was never the man, there's probably five guys in the division who can beat him, but he's the champ. Three for sure.

Three for sure. And now Yul Romero is going to fight this guy. five guys in the division who can beat him but he's the champ for sure three for sure it's and now yul romero is gonna fight this guy yul romero is this science project from cuba he's 42 he looks 19 and uh or he might be 40 but he looks 19 he's perfect specimen he's just like like there is no better like human example of a male on Earth. Action figure. Action figure. And now Bisping has to fight this guy. But because Bisping got hurt, Yul's going to fight Robert Whitaker. And I'm hoping that Whitaker somehow beats him,

and maybe Bisping has a shot in his next title defense. If they take this science experiment of Yul Romero and give him a loss, then perhaps Bisping can... He gets another easy one. Easy is a stretch, but that's the idea. He doesn't get a killer. Yeah, he doesn't get Yoel Romero. I thought you were into UFC because we were talking about Conor McGregor a minute ago,

but I think Conor McGregor trends. It's bigger than the UFC. It's bigger than boxing. It's bigger than sports. Conor McGregor is kind of his own show, I guess. Yeah, he's a fucking crazy person. I'm not like not into the UFC. I'm just not that into sports.

But I love crazy people. Crazy people are fucking great. And actually, Conor McGregor, I have a bit of a bone to pick with him because he fucking talks mad shit. Well, about everything. McGregor, like, I have a bit of a bone to pick with him because he fucking talks mad shit well, about everything, but he talks mad shit on his Instagram about cars he buys

that I know aren't his cars. Like, he talks about buying fucking Rolls' and shit that I know are the press cars because they're the same cars I reviewed. And I've seen him rolling through my hood in two Rolls Royces with with m plates which are like the

manufacturer tags and his instagram was like i bought this one for business and i bought the other one for business and i was like motherfucker that is a borrowed car you're all you have like a you have like 50 million dollars stop embarrassing yourself. I love it doesn't know that Yeah, I call people out on that shit all the time fucking asshole Shit, I'm gonna call someone out whose license plate starts with M and I'm gonna be totally wrong I want to like play like license plate. It's not that it starts with them. It'll say like ABC M 432 like it'll have an M

like abc m 432 like it'll have an m like uh like in the middle uh like it'll almost look like it's a university of michigan license plate and so like and sometimes it'll say mfr down the middle or dst which is distributor um and they'll always be like michigan jersey or georgia plates depends on where the car like wherever the the their importer is so like rolls royce is through bmw bmw's headquarters is new jersey and so rolls is bmw's always have jersey tags whereas like american press cars will have a michigan m plate and like porsches come through atlanta so they'll have georgia tags so there's like a you know i was able to follow about 15 of that but one thing I got for sure is you seem to know what you're talking about. I mean, you know, make it till you make it, right, bro? Yeah.

I've known that about Connor for a while. Not the cars, but like I remember he had that Meek coat on that they said was like $70,000 or something. And like you got the tag still attached. Yeah, he had the tags on. It was on the inside. You know like a watch salesman would open it up and the tags fluttered around. Actually, my girlfriend has a habit. She likes

to buy shit and then she'll wear it a couple times and fucking return it. I don't give a fuck. Do that shit. But it bothers me so much that she leaves the tags on it. I just bought her a tagging gun. So she can take the tag off and then just tag that bitch back up. So there's like a little Rolodex for the tags and then just tag that bitch

up and bring her back. Like 11 bucks on Amazon. Jesus. You've sold Woody. He's purchasing one right now. Yeah. It's called like a Danit gun. It has a weird fucking name.

It starts with a D. I'll look and tell you. If you really care, I will look at my email and tell you what it's called. It sounds like you're not hurting to get new and cool cars to play with. Is there any nefarious sourcing of a car? Has there ever been

a switcheroo where you got a car in a way where you weren't being completely honest to review it? What, like the shady procuring of a vehicle? Yeah. No. I mean, there are a couple of manufacturers, and one is very well known for if you get a car to review that's not from them, if they can't get you one but you get one from, say, an owner, you'll get kicked off their list. You'll be out of the club.

I see. And if you were to take a guess of which one it would be, you'd probably be right. I don't want to say it, but if you were to guess, you'd probably be right. Of which company would be the most dickish about their press vehicles. And it's the company that everybody wants to drive their cars. It's that company. Is it Italian? Yes.

Does it start with an F and end with an R-E? I have no comment on that. But sometimes there's roosters in them. But, yeah, no, some of them are tough. But it's shockingly difficult. You can have an audience. Like, you can have a real, like, legitimate. Like, we have a show on NBC Sports, like, pretty legitimate television show with a crew and a travel budget.

And, like, it's NBC. Like, you tell that to someone and they're like you've made it yay but then like it can be shockingly difficult to just get a fucking car like like what do you mean bmw won't give us a car like yeah they said there weren't any it's like a car for one day what the the fuck? And it's like, you know, and shit can happen sometimes. It's not quite as easy as cars just appearing. You know, no one, like, I have to ask pretty nicely to get cars from manufacturers. And I'm pretty established.

Does anyone in this car know for sure which one is the rooster car? Is it Ferrari? Is it Lamborghini? There's a song. There's a rooster in my, there's a song. It's Ferrari. All right. It's fine. All right. Thank you. I was like, it Is it Lamborghini? There's a song. There's a rooster in my... There's a song. It's Ferrari. All right. It's fine.

All right. Thank you. I was like, it could be Lamborghini. I'm not positive. I searched for it, and something like a Bugatti popped up, and I don't really know what they're made. I don't have your car background. Bugatti is French.

Okay. Is it? Speaking of France. Volkswagen. France says they're going to outlaw all gasoline and diesel engines by 2040. France is... 2040. You ever been to Paris? It fucking stinks in Paris. The diesel is horrible in Paris. Their emissions are really, really brutal. It's the people. It's the people.

Yes. France, not so much. We have diesel here, it don't smell like that. There's a lot of bullshit, like Volvo just made an announcement. A lot of BO in this French diesel. That's gotta take like no balls at all to be like a 70 year old politician and be like, but of course I care so much about the environment by 2040

it'd be totally behind us. Everyone we remember Jacques, Jacques the environmentalist. And it's like, no, you're gonna be dead Jacques. Somebody else is gonna have to do that. It blows me away how close these dates are. Like 2040 is not that close, but, like, 2020? Yeah. It's right around the corner.

No, dude, so much of this is bullshit. Like, Volvo just got so much press, like, two days ago out of being like, all of our cars will be at least partially electric by 2019. And the only reason they said that shit is because they had to. Like, there is a, it's like co2 per cubic foot or some some fucking weird number for emissions that goes into effect in 2020 and it'll probably get pushed back even further especially with this fucking administration um but they had to do that because there's just no way that a manufacturer with a full gas range of cars can

possibly do it. And the thing is, they can be like, yeah, all our cars will be electric, but they can always just change that later and fucking get the press mileage out of it now. Or change what all our cars even means. Like, well, all of our sedans do.

They're not going to get everyone to buy hybrid or electric by 2019. On this topic, I'm a total hypocrite. Because what I want is I think you guys should have electric cars. That would be good for the environment. It would be perfect. It would fit your use case. Not me, of course.

Oh, no, I didn't gas cars. You don't understand. I am a unique snowflake, and I sometimes need to tow a tractor. And, you know, I have high energy density requirements. So I'll be driving the gas one. But if you guys could all make the switch that'd be great I wonder what the emissions are on your paramotor it's two-stroke so I would guess shitty right yeah just Kim trails right over your neighbors like the paramotor has it Matt might not know what a paramotor is but you probably

know what a car with a prop like you probably know what a paraglider is with a prop like a backpack I love that that sounds fun as hell I love it have you ever seen like a Home Depot warehouse fan it's like you have one of those strapped on your back and then a big parachute over you and you

just run into the wind like they do in a never ending story and just take off that's what i do all the time i got a new wing today i'm very excited but anyway um it has a power to weight ratio requirement even like more severe than cars because you carry it like a backpack and it really matters how light you are motor is it like a briggs and stratton motor or something you know it's not very different from that but it's uh mine's an electrotech something out of poland it's this lightweight high performance high strung motor uh sometimes they take them from competitive

motorcycles like i guess okay you know there are these like like a dirt bike or something like a is it like a 125 or something like that mine's a 200 but that that's kind of the range from 200 to 80 and uh like pollini and Moster. They borrow from these little motorcycle racing Italian things and put them in paramotors. So anyway, I would love an electric one,

kind of, but the batteries are too heavy for the kind of energy. I don't think you can carry the batteries. You've got to turn that wing into a solar panel, right? That would work together. That brings some weight, yeah they're actually a lot of people are excited about electric because there's no maintenance you know two-stroke motors they break a lot and there's challenges with them and they vibrate a ton but uh until batteries what's really uh popular in la right now are electric motorcycles those those are pretty cool and in fact um in some of the racing

like Isle of Man TT which is a really really crazy motorcycle race they have a lap right something yeah on the Isle of Man and people die every single year doing it at least one or two people die every single year hobby asks death slaps and now electric bikes really they? They're the fastest? Yeah. And there's some laps... Here in California, we do a lot of standing mile, standing half-mile drag racing, and there are some insanely fast mile-and-half-mile motorcycles.

Oh, I bet. They would really excel at that. I was watching a Netflix show on hypercars. I guess that's what they call apex the story of the hypercar produced by my uh business partner tom morningstar and the producer of my television show jf musial well how awesome i don't know why i'm talking you're really going to know more about this automotive all of the automotive content in the world is made by like six people it's like it's the smallest world ever yeah good movie they were talking about a

hybrid car i don't remember which one it was and one of the things that was really important to them is it couldn't be hybrid for show they needed to do something with hybrid that they couldn't do with just gas and yes hybrid for performance a performance hybrid yeah yeah and uh it was interesting to me that because i feel like a lot of the electric stuff is almost for smug value or it's for – I don't know. Yeah, a lot of it is to meet a certain governmental requirement. For instance, there's a lot of these plug-in hybrids now that are such bullshit. There's a Range Rover plug-in hybrid and there's a couple Porsche plug-in hybrids and they both have like an 11 mile

electric only range which is like nothing but it's just enough to get around the London congestion tax and that will be the reason for it to save taxes in London. Now what you're probably thinking about is the Porsche 918 which has

a very high strong racing based gas engine that powers the rear wheels. And then it has two electric motors powering the front wheels, giving it effectively an all-wheel drive system. Now, it has this very tricky differential at the rear, which distributes power side to side. distributes power side to side, and then because it has individual motors in the front wheels, it has an all-wheel drive torque vectoring system, which makes it exceptionally fast. So that's probably what they were talking about with the performance hybrid. So while some... Go ahead. Which is the... Is it Nuremberg, where seven minutes is the time to be? Nuremberg Ring. Nuremberg Ring? Yeah, yeah. Nuremberg is seven minutes is the time to be? Nuremberg. Nuremberg Ring.

Nuremberg Ring? Yeah, yeah. Nuremberg is where they had the war crimes. Nuremberg Ring is a ring around the town of Nuremberg, and it is basically the longest, gnarliest racetrack in the world, and it's 13.2 miles. Can the 918 beat seven minutes? I believe they did a 6 minute

57. I think they did. It's very, very, it's fucking fast. I drove one once. It is basically the Starship Enterprise. Yeah, I didn't get to do it on video, unfortunately, but I did get to drive one outside of Dubai on a road called Jebel Jais,

which is a hilarious road because it was built to access a resort on the top of a mountain that was never built. And so it is literally three lanes wide, perfect tarmac in the middle of nowhere, and it goes nowhere. It just goes up a mountain and ends. Is that why I'm always seeing those guys with the Range Rovers on two wheels? And then they open the door and, like, get out and take the tire off and, like, change the tire while they're riding, too? That shit is mostly Saudi Arabia, and that's called a hogwalla. And there's the two wheels thing, and then there's also the, when they drift, drift like the Camrys on the freeway and shit. And then they do the road skating where they put on the fucking sandals and they like skate.

That sounds cool. It's fucking crazy. Google Saudi road skating. It's batshit. These people are out of their minds, dude. I got a question, and you're perfect to ask. So you've been doing this YouTube car review thing since 2007 for 10 years. It sounds like right now you're having an easy time getting nearly any car under the

sun. How has that changed? Some cars are very easy. Other cars are very hard. I'm betting in 2007, every car was hard. Like an idiot with a YouTube channel is not press. No, you know how it works? Like I said, I own this car wash right and one of the things we

did with the car wash was we did pick up and drop off of customers cars so you combine the fact that i had a lot of customers with nice cars that were used to me driving their cars around and then i bought this aston martin i have i bought when i had the car wash. So I had a nice car that I took care of. And then I got a reputation for not being a fuck up in other people's cars. And so in the very beginning, I just kind of hustled cars from wherever I could get cars from, mainly my car wash customers. And now if you want a Camaro, GM will give it to you. GM will give me a Camaro. If I want any normal-ish car, I can pretty much get a normal-ish car.

Getting normal cars isn't hard. There's very tough cars to get. Some of the exotics are really hard. And if a car is brand, brand new, it can be tough because even I, with a pretty decent audience, I got to get in line. Because I'm in LA la motor trend is here and i know some of the people who work at motor trend and i'm friends with some of those people but they are the biggest fucking press car hogs you've ever seen and they will book it's like oh the new mustangs coming out they'll get one of each engine one of each gearbox coupe and they'll

have nine mustang press cars for a month and i'll be like uh can i have the new gt with a stick coupe for like three days like ah motor trend's gonna have that until like october but i bet your audience could be bigger like how many magazines does motor trend send out now half a million well it's not so much their magazines their youtube channel is the biggest car channel on the internet. They spend a lot. They lose. They probably lose more money than any. I'm one of the only profitable channels out there.

I'd rather be profitable than be huge. You can be huge and lose your ass. There's some other YouTube car channel. I can't even name them all, but the Fastlane Truck. They don't seem like they spend a ton. I haven't looked into their finances, but I assure you if you're paying cameramen and editors and you're not getting views in the millions, you are losing money. I bet you're right. I don't pay anybody, so I get to keep all the money, and I've micromanaged myself down to the minute.

I started with the money and i've micromanaged myself down to the minute you know so i i know i i started with the revenue and work backwards that's why my videos are so ghetto um they weren't ghetto they're fairly good there's just not a lot of fluff there's not a lot of the bullshit that i would click like at first i did that thing i always do and i skipped like the first minute and a half of your video and i'm like whoa whoa what kind of car are we driving oh there's not a minute and a half of fluff here he tells us'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. What kind of car are we driving? Oh, there's not a minute and a half of fluff here. He tells us what we're driving the first five seconds. The first five seconds. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But getting cars, you know, a lot of the cars I'll drive are fans. They submit cars, you know, so I don't actually have to ask. And in fact, I make a very, very real policy of not asking ever. And that's for a good reason. It's like, if I ask you

to drive your car, now you're doing me a favor. And now we're both under this sort of mental umbrella of I owe you something. Not necessarily I owe you a favor, but I might owe you a favorable review because you've done me a favor so i will only drive cars that are voluntarily submitted unsolicited and that way i don't know anyone's shit um if i make the video and throw it in the fucking trash i don't owe anyone anything they volunteered you know so you'd never come to north carolina to do it but you can totally review my truck if you if you look at north carolina oh it's a 14 year old tacoma it's got dents on every body panel. Custom bumpers.

Custom bumpers I made myself. It's pretty badass, and it's loud to character. It's the only one like it. I just did a review of a four-cylinder Tacoma with a supercharger on it. Interesting car. But I was just in Washington, North Carolina,

which is on the coast. Okay. Doing boats. I did Donzie, Fountain, and Baja boats, which were really fun. Nice. What's the worst? What's the absolute worst car you've ever driven? Oh, there's been so many.

Like not a beater that you got, like of a new car that you were trying out, and you were just like baffled by how horrible um the the dodge nitro my housemate had a dodge nitro that in terms of driving dynamics was the single worst vehicle i've ever driven period uh it was a fucking disaster begin soup to nuts disaster um there's not in terms of like cars brand new there's not a lot that's just like horrible i mean there's cheap and like there's this thing called a mitsubishi imiev have you seen this thing i've never heard of imiev yeah yeah you you won't really see them it's a very cheap electric car that has a very short range and it looks like smart car ish uh but it's like somehow even worse the smart car is really really terrible um there's there's not much out there that's more miserable than a smart car

it's really i mean you have you have can you you look at those things and you go these fucking things were selling for over sticker when they came out. You see people driving those little eggs and they're like sitting in a tire, like it looks like you're sitting at a school desk. It's so small. And it's like, you're fucking one step away from suicide by cop. You're just inviting death on the road, like daring people to not sit. You're almost as invisible as a bike and with barely any more protection. people to not see. You're almost as invisible as a bike and with barely any more protection.

They should show the crash. I don't think I've ever seen the crash test for the smart car. Oh, you haven't? It's shockingly safe. Google it. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The one thing I will give smart cars, they're horrible to drive. I couldn't get paid to be seen in one, but the whole car is basically a cage and if you google the smart car crash test you would be shocked at how remarkably safe they are i mean i'm not you you won't win against a semi truck but in your basic accident you will survive i have a thing about crash tests i i here's my theory on the test, and you can tell me what you think, Matt. Because they crash these cars into walls, it doesn't really simulate what happens in an actual accident, right?

Unless you hit a wall. If I crash this thing into a wall, we're talking about like a light impact against a wall. If I get hit by an SUV or something, it's not like a wall where I just stop. I go backwards and the SUV pushes or something it's not like a wall where i just stop i go backwards and the suv pushes they do the test yeah yes the offset the offset ahead on and uh and they do 45s they do all those tests are you sure offset involves a moving object too no it's a it's a barrier but um see but that makes a huge difference offset, if the barrier kept moving afterwards, and I'm not just going to zero, I'm going to negative 20. You're worse going into a barrier than you are another car because the barrier is a solid block of concrete, whereas the other car will have some sort of a crumple zone.

A barrier is a worst-case scenario, believe it or not. The offset can be fucking brutal. A friend of mine, if you want to see a nasty one, look up the 2007-2008 Mazda CX-7 offset crash test, and it is brutal. You can't believe how quickly you die in one of them things. There's some fucking death traps out there. Picture the atom. Do you know the atom, that tiny little? It's just pretty much the roll cage. Yeah, yeah.

Right? So that thing into a wall might be okay. I don't know. But let's pretend that it much the roll cage yeah yeah right so that thing into a wall might be okay i don't know but let's pretend that it has a roll cage that holds up you know but that thing against a car because it weighs like 1200 pounds would be very dangerous so that's what you're talking about is in this video right here at 330 where they run it into a full-size mercedes sedan where they kind of like clip on the front. And it really doesn't look nearly as bad as I thought it would. Like Matt was right.

I thought it was just going to explode like an egg. But at the same time, given the option, if they were like, do you want to be in this Mercedes or this smart car? It's like, yeah, I'd rather be in the Mercedes. No, you're completely right, but it's not nearly as bad as you think, right? It's really not. It's not that terrible. Yeah, this guy probably wouldn't have died if he were not a doll and real. Right.

That's a pretty bad neck swing. Have you ever seen the old school test where they put pigs in there? I'm looking at it. Yeah, I've seen the pig ones. The smart car does go backwards, and the Mercedes kept driving through it. So one guy's going to have a lot more impact. Going from, I'll make it up, 30 to 0, this guy's going from 30 to negative 5. And the other guy's going have a lot more impact like going from i'll make it up 30 to 0 this guy's going from 30 to negative 5 and the other guy's going from 30 to 5 like this yeah big difference you can't

you're not you can't beat physics but it's a smart car is safer than you would expect it to be given how it looks the aerial atom like aerial i've driven them they are fun as can be but you don't want to crash one man and and stuff like that the kit cars like you saw on my videos the adams stuff like that you know they're exempt from federal crash testing standards completely how much is an atom isn't it like 35 grand or something probably used yes brand new they're much more expensive brand new i would say between 60 and 100 grand depending on options i used to to date her. I was like, how cool would it be to take my daughter to school in

this? She's in like 6th grade in carpool line, like an Ariel Adam. You could be the cool dad for sure. You could definitely be the cool dad. I had a couple cool dads at my high school that rolled up in Ferraris and shit. One day, I'm going to be that guy. One day, if I have

a kid, I'm going to be a cool dad and roll up in something dirty. You know what's funny? If you use that Ariel Adam we were talking about, Woody, to pick up Hope when she was like nine, you would be the coolest dad on the planet. You wait seven years and you pick her up when she's 16. And you're rolling up like Billy Madison.

And she is going to be like, all right, I've got to get my fucking license. This is out of control dude once you're past like 30 I'll say anytime you do anything interesting it's just midlife crisis accusations non-stop especially if the car is red that just doubles it down

like they just oh my gosh everything is midlife crisis so get yourself on a cord i've set the precedent where i have stupid sports cars my entire life so there can't be christ there's no crisis i've just had stupid cars the whole time and i'll continue to have stupid cars and you know i tell i've used that same argument like they all called my paramotor midlife crisis and it's like dude no this is just one in a series of shit I've been doing since I was 12.

I've been playing this thing like it's a throwaway account from the start. And they... You want to talk about midlife crisis, there's a guy named John who I know who owns a racetrack in Nevada, Pahrump, Nevada, called Spring Mountain Motorsports Ranch. It's a beautiful

Private racetrack and he's slowly expanded this place now There's condos and a pool and a gun range and he's wants to expand this track To be the largest racetrack in North America So he keeps adding track and adding track and adding track and it went from two miles to four to six and now I think There's you know seven and a half miles whatever he's buying a property to make it bigger and bigger and he just put in a lake for them jetpacks the water jetpacks yeah and he just so you the you know the very the famous water jetpack video from the news broadcast where the guy's like and here we go into the water that's this guy that's him and

and his new thing is he built his house is on the racetrack and he's got a fucking helipad on his roof and that's how he gets there he flies in to his roof and that this doesn't sound like midlife crisis this sounds awesome like what does he do yeah i think i don't know i think like a bond villain it seems almost like he like stealing the earth's water you know the water jetpack you talked about did you do they have an air one now what do you mean you don't need a jet ski anymore yeah yeah yeah it just it's a bit fucking too it's not jets it's like turbine engines that push air down and everything else is a backpack that holds the energy source I think it's gas jets. It's like turbine engines that push air down. And everything else is a backpack that holds the energy source. I think it's gas or something.

Or jet fuel probably. But yeah, you don't need to be over water anymore. You bring your own power supply and you fly around on it. Well, I saw the one guy who had the jet board, right? It was like the hover board. He flew across some body

of water on what was basically a surfboard with like four RC jets on it. Huh. Just like the water one. It's the same form factor as the water one we're talking about. Oh, that sounds awesome. Yeah. So what I'm talking about is called

the flyboard. Yeah. You stand on it. You remember the Green goblin from spider-man you stand on a thing green goblin and uh and you're wearing like a leather suit and you don't have a backpack or anything i think he does he does have a little backpack thing yeah this the fly board is the one i'm talking about that's the one with the world record yeah that's pretty sick but this guy doesn't have like a tube dipping down into the water he's just yeah because the way that thing the tube thing is basically like a jet ski thing following up behind you and it's sucking water up feeding through the hose and blowing it out

your ass to propel you up above the water and if that thing's always following you around doing that it's like a pool cleaner right i'm glad this guy's up there ironing all the kinks out in this technology because i just like 4k TVs, like the original flat screen TVs, I'm waiting until like Gen 3 when they're half price and all the first adopters have like three toes left or a perc off foot. Like, yeah, we wait until it goes to Costco. Dude, you're telling me you wouldn't get on that thing if they were like, hey, we want PKA to come out.

We want you guys to all hop on a fly board. You're going to go out on the lake. You're going to go through the course. You're going to come wouldn't get on that thing if they were like, hey, we want P.K. to come out. We want you guys to all hop on a flyboard. You're going to go out on the lake. You're going to go through the course. You're going to come back, land right here. Got some safety netting here in case you fall off the dock. We don't want you drowning. I think there's a reason they're doing it over water. I would be the first guy to upend and then just shoot into the water.

And they'd be like, well, we did what they're doing. Get over the water. What if when you get in the water, though, it just does that thing where it, like, propels you deeper? Oh, like deeper and deeper drag? Well, then you die. See, that's my hang-up. I know this guy Misha, who does this show, Drunk Tech Review, he got to ride that hoverboard thing.

Or fly a jetpack. I would try this one for sure, though. This looks like fun as long as like there's a little bit of control and how fast you're going and and it's a very large lake like i don't want to i don't want to accidentally meander over a fucking hot dog you don't want to do it like a hot out of a hot tub you know no no just right on top and really train no definitely not yeah outrageous it looks like a lot of fun. I wonder how long this thing can go, though.

Like, something that little. I bet you got, like, ten minutes or something like that. I'll plug the guy, because fuck it, we're going to make fun of the guy. It's called Jetpack America Las Vegas. That's the place. And the website is...

Fuck me, what is it? JetpackAmerica.com Go try a jetpack in Pahrump. So I saw that, we talked about it earlier a little bit, but Conor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather are starting the whole promotional tour for the fight like now or something.

I think London is the first stop but they're stopping at all the big boxing hot spots, I guess, around the world i they named like half a dozen cities but but i remember london is the first one that's gonna be a bigger show than the fight that's gonna and i think connor wins that one like my money is on floyd to win the boxing match but my money's on connor to win the uh the bullshitting match and the end of the year i'm sorry i i zoned out for one second you say they're taking bets on the bullshitting no no i said sorry. I zoned out for one second. Did you say they're taking bets on the bullshitting? No, no. I said if

they were, I'd put my money on Conor to win the bullshitting. I think he's got that wrapped up. Yeah. I mean, he can read, so he can rehearse his lines beforehand. There you go. Which brings me to this video. Can we watch this video? It's time-stamped, and you only gotta watch, like,

15 seconds. Yeah. The very disrespectful one, this video? It's time-stamped, and you only got to watch, like, 15 seconds. Yeah. The very disrespectful one, this one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can just pause at a meet, and it'll stop at, like, 9.26, and we can watch from there. Yeah. You ready, Woody?

I'm queuing up. Wait, I'm not used to doing podcasts over Skype. What happens if I unmute YouTube so I have sound? Are you guys going to hear it? It should just come to your headset. Okay, cool. All right. Hopefully I don't fuck this up.

I'm at 926. Is everybody ready? Yep. Ready, set, play. What was a good girl who wanted to-girl who wa-wa-want to- He can't even read! to- cut it out dude, you're gonna get us in trouble. air-air-air-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p Is that it? Just the one scene? Yeah. I'm still trying. Come on. Can you guys hear Kyle?

I'm a fan. No, I can't hear Kyle. Kyle, you have no audio. Oh, really? Now it's back. No, you're back now. Were you just miming? Stop. I think you may have been. Yeah, yeah i mean we've talked about this before

and i'm sure since he's the highest paid athlete in the world people have talked about it a lot but like you'd think that just you would be enticed to read like think of if you couldn't read for a day you wouldn't know what specials there were at restaurants you wouldn't be able to order anything not on like a like quick serve menu those are just two immediate food examples you know me yeah but like that's not helpful like is he gonna read you every book like you can read in your head infinitely faster than you can out loud every sign every that's it every sign stop 50 cents to read a page of harry potter for a hundred thousand dollars yeah i mean the whole series connor's gonna tear him apart in the bullshitting i'm

really looking forward to that i was watching some old clips of him like fucking with people in the past i love that one with uh jose aldo where like i don't know somebody put some lines in jose's head even though he doesn't speak english and he's like i'm the king and he's the court jester or something like that oh god you can't have someone who doesn't speak english going up against the gregor that's just not gonna work and my father taught me to do this and that mcgregor's like i'm your daddy now tell him i'm his daddy now and they translate and tell jose aldo that connor mcgregor it says he's your daddy now and like after it you see jose in the back you know car is just he's laughing it up he just had a big he just joked around for an hour but jose's over

there speaking in portuguese or spanish or whatever he's like i'm really mad i didn't like that at all it's funny like so if people don't know jose auto was the champ for i think i want to say 10 years it might have been five but whatever it was a really long time to be champ you say it was nine no okay um but it was a really long time i should know aided by the fact that he pulls out of fights he pulled out of like five fights during his championship that'll extend your reign every time you stub your toe you you're like, not healthy enough to go. Yeah, but he got to be the champ for like nine years. I'm not saying it was a bad

business decision. I'm just talking a little shit about him compared to people who don't miss fights. Yeah, what's the appearance fee during that time? That's what I'm thinking about. How much to show up at that club? Yeah, right? How many juice box sponsors did he get over there i mentioned that because

anderson silver like i don't know some juice i'd never heard of must be big in brazil like he'd be on commercials drinking juice and whatever he's drinking yeah but anyway so he's not used to being talked to the way that connor talked to him connor had an interim title and acted like he had the good one he's like I'm the real champ. Oh, the best part. They're going back and forth. Conor's here, Jose's here, and Dana White's in the middle at the podium.

And Conor and Jose are sitting in seats. And Conor just goes off and he's like, I'll take the belt whenever I want! And he takes the belt. He snatches Jose's championship belt and holds it up. And Conor's an inch or two taller. He's holding it up, playing keep away with this grown man's championship belt. And Dana White, there's nothing for him to do but keep Jose back from Conor.

So now it's like there's two bullies taking his belt away. It was just awful optics. You're looking at this, and it's like, yeah, I think Dana and Conor just bullied Jose. It stole his belt. You know what? With Dana White, I think Dana and Connor just bully chose a it's always felt to you You know what would say no white? I don't get is not like I get it But you see him like in his sit-down pictures and you imagine like oh

he's probably like a stocky guy like Joe Rogan like not very you know, not a tall guy and Such but then you see him in the middle of like those featherweight or lightweight Whatever it is that's fucking big like it doesn't quite they need a smaller man to stand in between the smaller fighters because like when you see those guys fighting and you see dana white who is so much bigger than i thought he was like muscular like you know there's no danger he's letting his company get out of control right there yeah you know like he i was in a room with dana white once He was huge. Was he? Yeah, he was fucking jacked. It was really...

When you see Dana White with a shirt on, you think he's a fat guy. But he does this show looking for a fight, and every so often they'll do a water-based event, swimming with dolphins, water skiing, or whatever, and you see him with his shirt off, and it's like, that dude has abs.

He's like a fat guy with muscles and abs. He's just like the kingpin from the Marvel comics. Oh, that's perfect. He's just thick. Just thick. Just a really, really big guy. And I'm sure he's on some force-enhancing drugs. I remember he was going to fight Tito Ortiz, the light heavyweight champ maybe at the time in a boxing match.

heavyweight champ maybe at the time in a boxing match uh like and and and they had these montages of dana jogging like like out in the sierra nevada like up a paved hill just like putin yeah and sweating profusely and then him hitting the heavy bag and he was hitting it so hard did he know he was a boxer i was about to say pro boxer i don't think that was the case gold gloves maybe like a legit box but maybe just before pro yeah that's what i want to say he was a an honest to goodness boxer he self-recognized that he wasn't going to make big money as a boxer like he just not mayweather but he was this guy's not afraid of being hit he's been hit 15 000 times already you know he wasn't yeah it was so great i don't remember who challenged who tito challenged him or vice versa but it seemed like it was going to happen for a while i remember watching the and the thought

process was like tito's not training for dana white but dana white is training for tito ortiz and it was like well maybe something could happen it is boxing that's a difficult thing dana was gonna win lozanne i I've talked to Lozon privately about this. He honestly in his heart believed Dana White would win a boxing match. Not MMA, of course, but Tito wasn't known for his hands. He was a wrestler. He was known for grabbing you and helping you to a victory. He was the ground and pound originator.

He was the first guy who was effective from inside your guard. Who was it that he just laid on top of for like three or four rounds? I can't recall. Oh, wait, I'm thinking of Shamrock. Even if you said the name. But I just remember that. I remember thinking negatively of him. And once you're in that page in my book,

it's hard to get out. You have to do something cool now. Well, I'm sure he's fucked now. He's on the wrong page of Kyle's book. I have a question for you guys. No, he's fighting on like Bellator or something now, right? Yeah, he beat Chelsea and then retired. Well, I mean, you know how that goes, too.

They'll dig up Fedor one more time and they'll be like, oh yeah, I'll come and give Fedor a little more brain damage, sure. They'll get Dan Henderson to come out of retirement, too. Or they could get Kimbo Slice out of the grave. Oh, that guy's literally fucking dead. I miss Kimbo Slice out of the grave. That guy's literally fucking dead. I miss Kimbo Slice. I guess in the long run, Dada2001.

Badass of the internet back in the day. I remember when I first stumbled upon Kimbo Slice. I knew of UFC and stuff, and I'd watched a few fights, but you never know. It's that unknown factor of ninjutsu and all those silly martial arts there was this thought that like Kimbo was a street fighter he's never heard a bell there's never been a referee stepping

in to help him he doesn't he doesn't run it just seemed like maybe he'd have an edge somewhere no no we we saw what happened yeah it didn't't work out. But it was interesting. The guy that beat Kimbo was in the UFC too, Sean Gannon. If you guys don't know, Kimbo was the street fighting legend. And this cop started talking trash. He was like, I could beat that guy. That guy is just a street punk. I'm a police officer. But it turns out Sean Gannon was a Golden Glove winner and a judo black belt.

And Kimbo's people lined up all these rules. Like you weren't allowed to do submissions. If it went to the ground, they had to take it back, et cetera, et cetera. Sean Gannon had some workarounds. Like they could do standing chokes. Like, hey, you said I couldn't choke him on the ground. You didn't say I couldn't choke him while standing. And he got him into a standing guillotine at one point. Anyway, eventually gannon just had

better wind and that's that's a video i've watched where the first time i watched it i was like oh can't wait to see another fool get his ass beat by kimbo and then within like the first minute it's like oh man like kimbo's looking a little slow oh oh no oh oh well they pulled him off of him i guess he's not doing the fight oh no he's still got like it was just that's what it was you're right like that guy steve gannon got him with like gut shots and punched him in the head and then like the posse of kimbo would come in and like make sure it was all cleared up and then gannon would be like all right it'll be good we're all good okay and then he beat the shit out of him some more and it was like my god like this wasn't even close yeah there was a clear because uh eventually Kimbo went down.

They counted to like 10 or something, and then they're like, hey, do you want to still fight? And he's like, yeah, I guess. There's a lot of peer pressure here. So he goes back up, gets knocked out again. I don't know if he got up twice or just once, but yeah, those street fights are fun because they're not over until,

even if it's a boxing type thing, even if it's a strike, it's not over until the if it's a boxing type thing even if it's a strike it's not over until the guy concedes so like in the street but conceding comes with a certain amount of shame so like the guy's knocked out he's exhausted you can tell there is no way if he gets up he's going to turn this thing around any ref would have stopped this fight but the people are like you want to go back in there for another ass-kicking? I guess I'm compelled to say yes.

The ref would have stopped it much earlier. He'd be like, nope, can't fight in the corner of a burnt-out 7-Eleven. Everybody out of here. This isn't up to code. Looks like Mr. Gannon brought four people and Kimbo brought 14. I can see this getting out of hand. He's got a fire extinguisher. What does he do with that?

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I was thinking of prank phone call ideas the other day, and I wanted to see if you would co-sign on one. I thought maybe it'd be funny to call Jackie as someone as a pool company representative and be like, we have made a huge error. The pool that we put in your

yard was actually meant for someone important. Just name a random person. And we have to dig it back up. We need it. We're coming to get it tomorrow. We need to do that. Barron Trump chose this pool by hand to be his first. We're going to have to dig it back up.

Whatever reason or rationale there would be. I could think on it some more. Maybe something like, we made a terrible error. We buried some tools under the pool. What if there were minerals or something? Like, oh, we made a terrible error. We buried some tools under the pool. What if there were minerals or something? Like, oh, we found... Oil.

I'm trying to make it like coal. The EPA's coming in. Yeah, yeah. We found coal. We're going to have to move your pool eight feet to the north. But ma'am, if I'm being completely honest, the pool moving isn't the beginning of your trouble. I just represent the state.

As soon as the EPA gets in here, I'm afraid to say it, ma'am. I will give you her number. I've seen this happen twice before with this sort of environmental ecological disaster with this leaking in the groundwater it is. They're going to make you move. Your house is going to be forfeit, ma'am. They're going to take the property. It's going to be a disaster area. Ramp it up slowly gonna be a disaster area up slowly I'll give you her number I'll give you herself because the pool company has been mostly working with her

she likes it because I can be sure that there's no implication that there is any wealth in this at all be like honestly once they start moving the pool which should only be a few month process we only estimate between 30 and 40 pounds of coal down there in the ground. And you'll be like, wait, what's time to clean the coal up? She has to pay the environmental cleanup costs. Holy shit, I went

to get my laptop charger. What the fuck are you guys talking about? They just had a pool put in, and I'm like, maybe I could call her. Because they had a lot of trouble getting the pool put in. There were a lot of snafus, and I'm like, but now it's in, and it's beautiful, and I'm like, now we call his wife, and I pretend like I'm like, maybe I could call her. They had a lot of trouble getting the pool put in. There were a lot of snafus. Now it's in and it's beautiful. Now we call his wife and I pretend like I'm from the pool company.

We've struck oil and it's not the good kind either. This is the ecological disaster. We have to be responsible for the clean. There's no more. Forget about that pool. It's just a petroleum jelly deposit. Nothing useful. We have just gotten our arms around this pool now. We've been swimming in it

for a couple of days, but as of today, we've got the chemistry right. We've just settled. Congratulations on your pool. I'm going to be like, have you noticed any voles? You have this sort of leakage. It attracts rodents

and any sort of ground rodent will be drawn to the gases and she'll be like, yeah, there are voles. We have, oh my god. That's why they call voles nature's oil finder. Just leave things like that. That's why the settlers used voles back in the day to seek out energy sources. That's what they did in Texas. They released the voles into the desert and let them seek out the oil wells.

They're like truffle seeking pigs. They go out and they dig it right up. This is going to be very costly for you. They're standing next to her like, I can't even deal with this, Jackie. And just walk out of there. That's funny. Do you see this article I linked here? The Gay Orgy at Cardinal's Apartment Busted Up by Vatican Police.

Now think about that title for a second. Think of how bananas a pedophile gay orgy party has to be in the Vatican for the Vatican's own police to go to the Cardinal's house and go, so many kids end up being raped. They have to go to the Cardinals house and go So many kids in there being raped, you know Have to go in they have to and then as soon as like they open it up like hopefully there's no children there But even so it's like how much of a gay party was going on Is that like nationally is that like the I don't know the New York Times of Italy or the Wall Street Journal, whatever is your respected paper? I don't know.

No, it's the Star Observer, setting Australia's LGBTI agenda since 1978 or 1979. So I don't really trust this. Lesbian, gay, bi, trans, and inquiring? What's I? Indigenous. There's an I? No, indigenous isn't a sexual orientation unless you only are indigenous people. Wait.

So what's more gay? That or the article I just saw on Deadspin earlier with the Brazilian soccer team jerking each other off in the shower? I mean, I would definitely say they're in the same ballpark. This is gayer. Yeah, Vatican's gotta be gayer.

I don't think Vatican is gayer because the soccer players are all grown men and they're all making a conscious decision to agree to this thing, whereas the Cardinal, he's probably the only really gay one there, and these boys well, I mean, I'm sure there's a few gay choir boys mixed in, but that's not to say they want to get fucked by a cardinal.

It says Vatican police have raided the home of a cardinal, interrupting a drug-fueled gay orgy. Why are there always drug fuels? I think that's what sex drugs are used in. I think they're doing speed and stuff. So I is intersex, and it's for people who have both genitals. Oh, really? They do that now? Ah, hermaphrodites. There's enough of those people that they get their own fucking letter?

How many of them could there be in Australia? The whole country of Australia has only got fucking 3 million people. Statistically, what are there, six I's in there in Australia? Yeah, they're just putting i in there because they haven't paid enough attention to every other acronym in the world that knows hey you know what after four letters this gets ridiculous i mean i live in california so i'll probably get fired just for making that fucking joke but you know i hate speech but listen to this it's that says reports have suggested pope franc Francis is angered by the news and may force the cardinal to retire.

He's angry at the gay orgy with kids. It's only – but listen to how muted that is. Like, he may be upset and he may ask him or may fire the cardinal or force him to retire. Like, what? He may be upset that he wasn't invited. Oh, man. Oh, sour grapes. That's his point of contention. upset that he wasn't invited. Oh, man. Oh, sour grapes.

You think you have your own gay party with no pope there, huh? Those kids were probably teenagers anyway. I'm gonna have my own gay orgy. Someone should tell him that envy is a deadly sin. Yeah, that's... He's the cool pope, though. The cool pope

is not even that pissed about the drug-fueled Georgi. Yeah, they probably liked it. The last... The German pope, he... Well, he would have... He was Argentinian. Oh, that's a good point. I guess I'm not up to date on my Catholicism. I made that mistake,

too. He looked German, didn't he? You know why you thought he was Argentinian? Oh, no, because he was a Nazi that fled, right? Yeah. It's amazing how the Argentinians do such a good job of hiding that Nazi shit. But then you just think that much and it's like, oh, wait a minute.

That place was full of fucking Nazis. It still is. It's a fascinating bit of history to read about what the Mossad did to those motherfuckers post-World War II. The Israeli Special Forces. They'd be like, they'd find out that, you know, like, some prison guard or some dirty Nazi had made it to

Argentina, and there were these towns in Argentina, like, one in particular I know for sure, where, like, everyone there is German. Everyone there, German is, like, the language that's spoken there, and they would go in and, like, track these people down, and, like, three, four, five Mossad agents would, like, knock you over the head, throw you in the trunk of a car, fly your ass back to Israel, put you on trial, and then do whatever needed to be done. Or many times they assassinated these guys, shot them.

I have a really bizarre story about finding out about this. And I have a friend named John, who is one of the greatest people in the world, who runs the American division of a company called Persang. And Persang is... Shit, it's either French or... It's French, I believe, for pure blood. And that sounds worse than it is. They make exact...

Like Red Cross? It's like the Red Cross, yeah. They make exact, perfect, it's like the red cross yeah they make exact perfect 100 accurate replicas of pre-war european sports cars bugattis alfa romeos stuff like that from the 20s and 30s and they have uh this crazy metal shop and a forge and they build these cars using the same methods that were used back then so they cast their own engine blocks and they're so accurate that they are not replicas. Like you can interchange all the parts with the original cars and these cars. And these cars are like a half a million dollars, but they're replicas of cars that are 20 million

dollars. So they're super expensive and they're in Argentina. That's where the cars are built. Super expensive. And they're in Argentina. That's where the cars are built. And I didn't really think about for a minute, like, why would there be a factory building 100% accurate replicas of pre-war German sports cars in Argentina? Oh. All of a sudden.

They wanted a Bugatti. It's been around for, like, kind of the right amount of time, and, like, I'm not saying the people who run the shit are Nazis by any means, but just the coincidence of, like, all the places in the world build these perfect replicas of pre-war... Do you think, like, the first, like, shop manager, like, just after the war

had to walk by and, like, stop his employees from, like, finishing the SS emblem? It's like, nine, nine! We already lost! This is fun! We can't afford this! It's entirely possible this company was started like just to service the cars that like got sent that you know that people escaped from Germany with and all, I mean, craziness. My name is Julio, I have always lived here. You can tell by my skin and my not SS shirt. This I got it at the strip shop.

It's not even mine, you know? Like, that would be like, how ballsy do you have to be to go to Argentina, escape as a Nazi, and then eventually be like, you know what, I'm gonna go back and be the Pope. And then you transition back in.

Was the Pope back? The Pope was in the Hitler Youth, the previous Pope, correct? Yeah. That's confirmed? Yeah. In his defense, that was like the Eagle Scouts. Yeah, yeah. There's not a lot of defense.

You got a cool night. To be fair, those kids weren't like, they didn't get to pick that they got to sign up for the Hitler Youth. It was like, oh, you're a young German boy? You're in the Hitler Youth now. And it was like, all right, I guess it's my summer activities. Well, I do think there are some kids that were not in the Hitler Youth, but they ended up

in fucking boxcars. I was gonna say, they were free train rides. Like, by people that got free train rides. I met a guy who was in the Hitler Youth. He was really fucking old. He sold cars. Peter. And Peter was like, yes, we were all in youth. No, no, no, maybe

he missed it. It was just called youth. He was in Hamburg when it got bombed. He had all these... The best years of my life. Like when Hamburg was being bombed. So he had vivid memories of being bombed by the Allies. So it was pretty cool to talk to that guy.

That's crazy. I had some distant relatives that did not make it out of there. Fortunately, my grandparents were not them. But I'm a Jew. I even have my bar mitzvah bracelet on with the fucking date

of my bar mitzvah on the back of it that I've been wearing for 20 years. But otherwise, I'm a terrible Jew. Not a good... I've only been to one bar mitzvah on the back of it that I've been wearing for 20 years. But otherwise, I'm a terrible Jew. Not a good... I've only been to one bar mitzvah. Wait, where are you guys located? I don't know where you guys are located in the country. Is it in Atlanta?

North Carolina. North Carolina. St. Louis. Okay, so not a bastion of... Atlanta, more Jews than... Well, I'm from Jersey, which is... Oh, yeah. There's plenty of Jews. North Jersey?

South. Less Jews, but there's more North Jersey. The Jews in the South area, they would just go to Philly. My next-door neighbors growing up were Jewish. I went to... The Goldbergs. Typical. I went to a super Jew-y private school north of New York

City, and we literally had a bar mitzvah every single weekend. I went to a super Jew-y private school north of New York City and we literally had a bar mitzvah every single weekend. I went to one bar mitzvah ever and not being Jewish, like it was a lot of sitting still and listening to the guy speak Hebrew and it was like I woefully underestimated how long that was going to take.

I was like, so we're just going to pop in, pop out, say like, happy, you know, tip my yarmulke at him. Do I get one? I don't get one, pop out, say like, happy, you know, tip my yarmulke at them. Do I get one? I don't get one. Okay, well, that's kind of, you know, like, I wish they gave me like a Yarmulke. Wait, they didn't give you one? They didn't give me one. Those Jewish fucks didn't hand them out? At the very least, I thought like, I'll get a little hat too that I can keep and just be like, hey, like, if I ever want to pretend to be Jewish, like, I could.

I've been to like three bar mitzvahs and a bat mitzvah. I always got the little skull cap there. They usually give them out, and if they're a fairly baller family, they get them in suede. They're kind of fire, actually. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the suede ones are nice. The thing that I took away from it was they played Jewish

music at the bar mitzvah, which, for some reason, I was not prepared for that. Well, I wasn't very old. Depending on, like on how Jewish, sometimes they play Megadeth. Yeah, I was like, when are we going to get around to the current music? First of all, I was not here when we gave out the synchronized

Jewish dancing lessons. I don't know where you guys all learned this. The horrors just circles around circles with a chair in the middle. That's pretty much all the horrors. Well, it was a lot for me to get my arms around. You can figure out the horror. I mean, I wasn't an award-winning dancer at the time. And wait, let me clarify.

Did they play Jewish music at, like, the party after? Or do you mean during the ceremony, right? Or at the whole party they played? No, there was, like, a reception afterwards, to put it in wedding terms. And there were lots of, like, Jewish things that they were doing. I guess the horror is one. And they were just a dance, and then they cut the bread and drank the wine.

That's pretty standard. Yeah, that was a great opening. What kind of things were they doing? Just digging around for money? Did they defraud the man who ran the joint? What happened? They took over the national news media, and then they cut the bread.

I do remember this. The highlight of all of these events combined, one of the – the kid, the guy, it was for his bar mitzvah. He was my friend. And we went into the elevator and he put a bunch of ketchup packets on the ground and stepped on them and they blew up. And I thought that was the coolest thing. It was his party it was? Yeah, it was his party. He had no chill.

He did not give a fuck that night. No, he was not a well-behaved kid. That's not a traditional Jewish custom. Just vandalizing the elevator. Thou shalt lay down Heinz ketchup packets. That'd be really funny if Woody came away from that experience thinking that was a part of his ceremony. Like stepping on the glass at the wedding or whatever He thought that for the bomb hits for their vice stomp tomato back

I'm around. He's an adult. He's got his pockets full We're just full of money yeah wedding dude you get the bag it's like no one's gonna steal the bag here, honey But the kid's older. Go ahead. So here's my thing. For my kids, when we had the christening, we didn't get a ton of money. I don't know, $1,200, $1,300 or something.

And that was what we used to kickstart their college accounts. And they're like nine months old or something, whatever. So you get like 18 years for that to compound interest. But the Jewish people get way more money but So you get like 18 years for that to compound interest. But the Jewish people get way more money, but they give it like 13 years old. You're a little older.

So they only have like five years of compound interest. It ranges. It could be two or three grand or it could be a lot. Yeah, I got a lot. I remember XJaws had a real good five-inch. You bought a Corvette with your five-inch money? But it's like low five digits is a lot, right? Say what? Low five digits is a lot, right? Say what?

Low five digits is a bunch, or did they get into like 20s and 30s? Well, like I said, I bought a Corvette on my 18th birthday. I did use the money for that. It ended up being okay, because let's look at my job now. I just sold the car like six months ago.

What year was that? 1998. Okay. I love Corvettes. there are a lot of fun man and the new shit you know i just had to go in the new what they call the callaway aero wagon you've seen that thing so you've heard of callaway they do modified corvettes you know they've been around for a while not the same company that does the golf clubs that's his brother really yeah yeah the founder of callaway cars and the founder of does the golf clubs. That's his brother. Really? Yeah, yeah. The founder of Callaway Cars and the founder of Callaway Golf Clubs were brothers. Wow.

Yeah. That's got to be the one time ever that the guy who founded a car company is still the not as successful son at Christmas. Where they're like, oh, so you're not public yet? Oh, well, your brother went public nine years ago. He bought us a house. Meanwhile, the guy with the car company's like, yeah, just bought a nice new set of Titleists. I'm a ping man myself.

Ball really bounces off those. Not that big berth of bullshit. Wait, I can think of another one of those where it's two brothers. Oh, shit. Wait.

I'm trying to think. I've got one while you're at it. Yeah. Wayne Gretzky and – was his brother Brett? What's Wayne Gretzky's brother's name? Wayne and Brett Gretzky. They are the combined brother scoring leader, like of all time. If you take any two brothers in the NHL, Wayne and Brent Gretzky

have the most goals. He got, like, two or three goals. So, um, Brent Gretzky, yeah, so How many goals did he get? Okay, yeah. Wayne Gretzky and Brent Gretzky hold the NHL record for most combined points by two brothers. Wayne has

2,857, and Brent has four. points by two brothers. Wayne has 2,857, and Brent has four. Oh, Thanksgiving must be awesome in the Gretzky house. Oh my god. Even if you were an excellent, excellent

hockey player, like if your brother is Wayne Gretzky, it's like, fuck this, I'm gonna get into real estate or something. What am I supposed to do? Man, that Corvette looks nice. Oh, the Callaway Aero wagon? The Camaros look so nice, though. I just had a go in the one they call the ZL1 1LE.

The problem with GM is they're fucking terrible at naming cars. That is the least inspiring name ever. The ZL1 1LE. But I'll tell you what, it's fast as fuck. And it is a nasty, nasty bitch of a car, man. Yeah, I'm sure that one has the supercharger.

I think the 1LE's package is like a sports package, right? It's the magnetic suspension and all that bullshit. It has what they call spool valve shocks, which are the shocks they use in Formula 1, and they're developed by Multimatic, and they're shockingly effective. And it has basically like slicks on it, like race car tires, and I had to test it at Virginia International Raceway in the fucking rain, and it wanted me dead.

But then it dried out, and it was delightful. It's insanely fast. That Camaro ZL1 for your Nürburgring time does a 7.14. So, you take the Porsche 918, which is a million dollars, and that does

6.57 seconds. This car is 69,000 bucks and does 714. Now that's madness. What can the Adam do, though? Ariel Adam? I don't know. If somebody... I can do it. I'll pull up the list of...

On the Wikipedia for nurburgring um there is a uh an ongoing record of fast car laps if you would and now the problem is of course there's a lot of variables uh driver obviously time of year etc etc etc but i'll just i'll go you through some highlights real quick for cars you probably heard of. So the new crazy one, the new Lamborghini Huracan Performante, which is the fastest,

more uprated version of the Huracan, did a 6.52, which is fucking crazy. The fact that they ran that number is nuts. What is the fastest of all time? Sorry, I didn't catch you. The fastest of all time is 6. 648 and that's a car called a radical and a radical is actually not what is 645 yeah it's what do you have for 645 the next ev nilo ep9 oh i forgot about that yeah that's what i'm here for well it's not on the on the Wikipedia yet, so you had me. And it was a story that actually came out last year and did not stick around in the media too long.

But it is an electric vehicle. And it is insanely fast, all-wheel drive. And I think it has something like EV equivalent 1,300 horsepower. Or some, yeah, some shitty some some just insane number yeah the 645 forgot about that and then the radical sra is if you see a picture of that it's basically a race car that somehow is street legal in europe but it's not legal in america so are all of these nurburgring cars street legal is that part of it like yes they have the lap that you're looking at the top 100 uh lap times and the wikipedia page is done by road legal and then racing radical is a two and four on my

list and that thing does not look like a right it looks like a rate like a track car right the sr8 and the s8 lm the lm has uh has a downforce package on, so it's more stable at high speed. Yeah, this would be so inconvenient to use as a road car, like going to the grocery store, picking up your kid. Yeah. You'd get rid of all of your errands quickly, though. There's a couple cars in America that are similar to Radicals. There's a car called an Ultima that's similar to a radical and that is street legal actually, although I don't believe they've run

one at the Nürburgring, at least I don't see one. If you go down to, you know, you got your obvious ones, Porsche 918 Spyder, Lamborghini Aventador, SV, GTR, etc, etc. And then if you go to number 13, there's a car called a Donkervort,

which is basically an updated Caterham, which is a car designed in the fucking 60s. That one's cool. Extremely sketchy to drive. Extremely sketchy. It's from 05? I've never driven a Donker Vort, but I've driven a Caterham, and they're fucking terrifying. They're really fast. Depending on the motor, you can get everything from like 100 horsepower to 600 horsepower in one of those.

And the more power they have, the scarier they are, obviously. I'm thinking about these electric cars. Like, what are the battery cells like in them? Because you're going that fast on this track, like in a collision. I'm just imagining this thing doing that thing that happens when you take a cell phone battery and puncture it, and it goes. Yeah. collision, I'm just imagining this thing doing that thing that happens when you take a cell phone battery and puncture it and it goes...

You know, there's a... There's a guy named Richard Hammond who was a host of Top Gear and now... Heard about his crash a couple weeks ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, an electric vehicle. How did he crash? Yeah, exactly. The Rimac. Well, it's... So the Rimac, it's spelled R-I-M-A-C, Rimac,

but it's actually... It's Croatian, so it's pronounced Rimac, which is convenient. So that thing, like that next EV that you saw on the Nürburgring list, is like a thousand horsepower, all-wheel drive, electric supercar. And he was, there's a thing that happens when you're combining the filming of a television show with motorsport. And what happens is as you're filming the show and you're competing in a motorsport of any real kind, you start out very nervous because you're doing a new thing. And as the day goes on, you just get more and more and more and more comfortable. But you're constantly aware of the fact that there's cameras on you and you don't want to be the guy who fucks up on camera. What inevitably ends up happening to all of us is finally you're done filming at the end of the day and maybe the track or the road or whatever isn't quite closed.

And you find an excuse to just go for one more run. And that's basically what happened to Richard Hammond. run and that's basically what happened to richard haven't um he had this very fast car and he was doing a hill climb event in switzerland which is on a very narrow mountain road you know timed point a to point b uh for his show the grand tour and he finished filming and went for one more run and he entered a corner fucking way too fast way too. And basically sailed the car off a cliff. And he flew 30 yards or 30 meters or whatever. He flew what is a pretty

long way to fly sideways in a car. And landed and rolled up on the roof. And he got out of the window. He broke his leg, which is unbelievable he didn't get more fucked up. The car, I mean, actually sort of a testament to the car's safety that that was all that happened to him after sailing one off a cliff. But then the car caught fire and burned to the ground.

The thing about driving is, so I'm not any kind of, I'm a normal driver, right? I just drive a truck or whatever. But I could drive as fast as you briefly anyway. Yeah, for a very short period of time. Right, right. I could enter the corner at the same speed as you, I'm sure. You might exit it in a different direction. Exactly, exactly.

So paramotors are similar in this way. You can get yourself into trouble. Like something about paramotors are similar in this way. Like you can get yourself into trouble. Like it doesn't take any special skill to enter the danger zone. Whereas a lot of other sports, you know, like, I don't know, gymnastics or something. There's something inherent that I know I can't do that going into it. With driving, you're like, I guess I'll have to try to see what I'm capable of. Yeah.

I mean, you know, it depends on your personality. If you're the kind of person that is really alpha and can kind of ignore risk, you can get yourself into trouble pretty quickly. I am fortunately, like I said before, the reason I can't be a racing driver is I'm actually afraid of crashing. And I can't not see the wall and whatever. So I believe in working your way up to stuff as opposed to just going for it. And maybe that's held me back from some sort of things, but it's kept me alive. I think you can learn to be a very good driver.

It's a trained skill. It's not necessarily an innate skill. And some people have – if you have good hand-eye coordination, if you're good at video games, you know, you can probably drive a car pretty fast. You know, if you're fast on Forza, you can probably learn, at least learn to be fast in a car. I would say that this, so this car Hammond was driving when he crashed, it was electric, right? And I've never driven one of these Remazas before or that crazy Nürburgring car. right and i've never driven one of these remotes before or that crazy nerberg rig car but i've driven model s's uh and the earlier tesla roadsters on racetracks even and what's interesting is you know traditionally if you're on a racetrack you have a manual gearbox of some kind whether it's

a stick shift or you have paddles you know like an automated manual you've got some you have a control over your gear right and you're not looking at your speedometer as you're entering corners but you know approximately what gear and rpm you should be in going into any given corner you know you see a corner and you go okay that's probably a third gear corner but it's not going to be a sixth gear corner you feel me so a model s or any electric car does not have a gearbox. There's one gear. Okay. So if you're driving really fast in an electric car, because you don't know, okay, I have to slow this thing down to third gear for this corner, you have a lot less information to work with when you're driving fast.

And so you either need to A, know this is a 35-mile-an-hour corner, not just this is a middle third-gear corner. This is a 35-mile-an-hour corner. And then you have to watch your speed, really watch it, to get your car at that speed. Because without sound and without gears, you have so much less information to work with. And so every time I've been around a racetrack, an electric car, and I can imagine this problem

must have been hugely exacerbated by the fact that Hammond was not on a racetrack. He was on a road. These cars are extraordinarily fast, the electric cars. They are just the amount, the way they deliver power is insane. Model S is so fast that I find it to be physically unpleasant. It seems like it's giving you the power that you want instantaneously. You're not dumping more fuel into a combustion engine and waiting for that power to happen and waiting for stuff to turn. No, it's like more power now. You're adding more electricity, more amperage or whatever,

more torque instantaneously. Right. And there's a wave of it that doesn't stop until you run out of revs, right, which for most electric cars, I don't know about what it is for the Ramats and I don't know what it is for the Nürburgring one. But in a Tesla, it's about 125 miles an hour. So from zero to 125, they are fast as fuck. And after that, they just hit a wall pretty quickly. You know what the solution for that is, I think, and I was going to ask about this anyway, I think electric cars need to give us

an audible feedback. First of all, I think that's one of the biggest things that you're missing when you go all electric and when I hear France saying, all electric cars by 2014, I think, ah, so they're all going to hum. There's not going to be anybody out there. Like.

I know what you mean. Have you ever been in an electric car? You ever drive one? No. Yeah, like a Prius and a couple other like little hybrids, but like not an electric sport car. Right, but a Prius, no, a Prius, the gas engine's coming back on. I mean a full-on electric. I don't think so.

Not me. If you get a chance just try one even just for a minute because it's it's it's a lovely experience to be perfectly honest i owned a chevy volt for two years and i'm telling i fucking loved it i loved it and just it's so refined and quiet as a road car now you're talking about racing and being on a track that's a whole other story but as a road car it was just delightful everywhere i got i was like and i live in in la which is a shitty place to get around it's light to light it's traffic and it's all this so so not having vibration and having a very quiet cabin and having this seamless power band without shifting and

without noise i was i swear to god i was like calmer when I got anywhere. I was just more chill. And now I have this Focus RS, which is stick shift, and it's loud. And when I get places, I'm like, get out of my way. I'm in second. I don't want to have to go back to first. Oh, I'd hate to drive a manual in LA. Yeah, it's brutal. I'm just an idiot.

I shouldn't have bought a stick car. I hate the car as a daily driver, but it's not the car's fault. It's my fault. I prefer a stick in traffic. Do you? Yeah, what I particularly don't like is holding the breakdown. Oh, I understand. I understand that. Yeah, if the car was somehow improved in such a way that I didn't have to fight it to stay still,

then it wouldn't have been me. Well, I hate to tell you this. It has been. There are several vehicles. I haven't had a new car for 14 years now. Oh, dude, there's some shit going on. Really? Just in the last 14 years, you say?

Most automatic cars, in fact, probably any automatic car above, let's call it 40 grand, will have something called hold assist, where if you press the brake, the car will come to a stop. And if you press the brake the car will come to a stop and if you press it a little harder just for a minute it'll it'll hold the car in place until you hit the gas and then it will release and go because cars all have electronic parking brakes now so you can program that parking brake to come on under different scenarios like most most manual transmission cars now including my focus Focus RS and, I mean, basically any

manual transmission car you can think of that isn't a total shitbox has a hill hold feature. So you do the same thing. You press the brake pedal a little harder than you would, and it holds the car, and as you do the clutch on a hill, it keeps you from rolling backwards, and you don't roll back anymore.

Oh, really? Oh, that sounds wonderful. I've got a 2011 Supersport Camaro, main the only reason i didn't get the manual because i don't want to deal with that hill thing and using i need three feet if i don't want to have hill hold assist you'll be happy to know if you get a 15 and up you will what's what's in the new the new year that this new coming model what's going to be better the mustang or the camaro i've got a friend who's thinking about getting the Mustang. You know what? I mean, they both kind of are what they are. Some are – one of them, the Mustang is a little better at certain things.

The Camaro is a little better at other things. A lot of it, you know, everyone wants to know what's better than the other. I think the Camaro is a little bit assuming the the same driver assuming you've got a very good racing driver owning both cars the camaro and we're talking about the ss compared to the gt i imagine yeah yeah the ss so the mustang is the one i would rather live with every day and the camaro is a bit faster around a racetrack that's that's for me i don't the low roof and the small windows in the Camaro, I don't like that. I think I have to kind of crouch a little bit, but if it physically fits

you, it's fine. I think the materials in the Mustang's interior are a little better. I think the Mustang's engine is a little livelier. It's freer to rev. It's not quite as powerful as the Camaro's engine, but it is, for me, a more fun engine to rev out. The Camaro is real fast, and it's got a great chassis. Dynamically, it's excellent. The brakes are really good. The gearbox,

the manual gearbox is better. They actually share the same automatic gearbox now. Both Mustang and Camaro will for 2018. It seems sacrilege in some way. This is like brothers and sisters kissing. It happens more than you think. A lot of cars, there's a company called ZF

out of Germany. It's been around for a long time. Made a lot of gearboxes. Mustangs and Camaros should compete, not work together. Oh, dude, it's the way of the world, man. I guess they are competing. They're both picking the best gearbox. The American companies, by

far, by far, are behind the rest of the world in transmissions. By far. Okay? And the reason is, is because they've all been fighting each other to develop their own transmissions, whereas the rest of the fucking world, BMW, Mercedes,

Ferrari, all of these companies, the highest performing cars in the world, except Porsche. Porsche doesn't do it. But all the rest of these companies buy gearboxes from companies that only make gearboxes. So there's a company called Getrag, there's a company called ZF, there's a company called Tremec, and

those three companies supply like 80% of the world's cars with gearboxes so in the truck world the gearboxes are going crazy now they're all like 10 speeds and 8 speeds yeah the 10 speed auto is the one that Ford and GM will both be using but um but like you know Tremec for instance had a gearbox called a t56 and at one point every American car was using a t56 the camaro or every american sports car so the camaro uh the manual transmission mustang cobra the viper and the corvette all were using a tremek t56 gearbox in about 2002 three 2003 they all had the same one. That's really interesting.

Yeah, and there's a company called Graziano. So the Ferrari 488, the new awesome Ferrari that I have reviews of the coupe and the Spyder on my channel. It's just the best. It's the best. I love it so much.

And that and the new McLaren 570S and the 650S competitors right ferrari mclaren same graziano seven speed gearbox in both cars now they tune them differently so that they they behave a little differently but that's all ecu stuff and there's a company called zf that makes an eight speed gearbox that is in okay let me see if i can list it off here. All Jaguars, all Land Rovers, all Chryslers, all Dodges, all... some Audis,

some BMWs, sedans, and SUVs. No Mercedes does their own. I think that's it. But the the zf8 speed gearbox is in everything i didn't know that i always just assumed that like ford is making a mustang transmission and it no not so in fact i i mean you want me to fuck you up a little bit well you're not a mustang fan mustang fans really don't like being reminded that the current generation mustang gt m-82 transmission is made in fucking

China. That's a piece of shit. The standard Mustang GT, there's all kinds of reported issues about it. The Shelby GT350, the new, awesome, dope Mustang that, you know, everybody can't stop talking about. It's like 60 or 70 grand, probably.

Yeah, that one gets a Tremec. That one gets an update. When is China gonna stop making shitty stuff I guess they can I like the iPhone pride in most of their shit they're fucking their cars you couldn't give me a goddamn Chinese car I've been in other countries trash like I don't know I there was this guy on the internet uh he worked with china and he gets steel that's this thing he buys metal just guy on the internet who works for china that was said with china he works okay he buys a lot a lot of steel and uh he finds it infuriating like they constantly don't meet the specs that they're supposed to and he's like this doesn't happen

with any other supplier around the world in china it's just awful. And you work it out, and they just, well, there should be more. And they should be the same shitty steel. They got Wings of Redemption getting the mix just right at the steel foundry. All those communist cars are so shitty. You know those Russian cars? They did a Top Gear, like an one years and years and years ago. Oh, yeah, the Volgas and the copy cars. Hammond and Jeremy and whoever, they were driving those around in James May.

And these things were like, they were talking about how heavy they were. And they had to do some kind of demonstration. Russia, Sudan must survive potholes in the winter. demonstration that was alive bottles in the winter They had to like like they were showing like it was so heavy that Steep inclines were like too much for some of these Russian cars because they're like now I don't want you to think that I'm saying it's heavy. It's literally made of lead Yeah, no, let me show you the inside and like they do that They just do that. They bamboozle you on top gear.

I don't know shit about cars, so I get fooled by top gear all the time, especially Jeremy because he describes it in that annoying British way where he'll be like, the new Mustang is horrible in turns, it accelerates shoddily

as most Americans do, and its steering wheel is on the wrong side and I wouldn't change a thing about it at all. And it's like, what? You wouldn't change it. They do that all the time. They say three negative things about a car

and then they go, and I love it just the way it is. Congratulations. You just learned how to be an English car reviewer. You know what I mean? That's the English way. You have to throw in a couple, it's as if. It's as if the Lord himself has

literally come and shat on your face. You have to throw a literally. Are they good drivers? I mean, obviously James May doesn't really pretend to be. Isn't that the center of world music? He's okay. I thought you were saying the British. James May doesn't really pretend to be. Isn't that the center of... James May is not nearly as bad as they make him out to be. He's okay.

Oh, I thought you were saying the British. I thought we were talking British drivers. Oh, you meant the top year hosts, right? I did. I was talking about those three in particular. Yeah, they're good. They're good. They get a lot of practice. Yeah, I guess so.

I mean, obviously, Richard fights off a little more than he can chew sometimes. He does. There's more money from it, though, right? I bet he survived that crash and he was like the writings are the writings they love it like that show whenever that airs him fucking spinning off they'll do well you know reality tv is always trying to fake what he just did you know an actual his other crash? His other crash? The Jet Dragster crash. The Jet Dragster crash is fucked up.

He was really jacked up after that. This one is like, oh, he broke his leg, which, you know, that sucks. The top fuel dragster. Yeah, he crashed basically. It had a jet on the back of it, but it was basically a top fuel dragster with jets, and he had a really, really bad crash in it.

He was fucked up. There's lots of videos. I could have done that. I could get into a top fuel dragster and make it go really quickly, briefly. But you may have not made it quite as far as he did. I might have made it just as high.

It's really a testament to how good that show is that I don't know anything about cars, and I still love watching it, where I kind of just take their word for it, but all the ones I like the most are the ones where it's like the producers have given us 2,000 pounds to

make our best attempt at a dune buggy. James, that's not a dune buggy. Are you sure you haven't watched a lot of cars? I want to make one and hire you for that exact thing. I want to see you free for it. Literally, I'm going to give you 30 seconds. Ready?

30 seconds. You are going to write an episode of Top Gear in an English accent. Ready? Go. Tonight on Top Gear, we're going to be investigating the Camaro SS. I don't even know enough car names to, like, figure them out. The Camaro SS. Another American car that Mr. May and I will not care for,

but Richard Hammond, our resident American, will love it, of course. And that's about as much as I can do. That's very good. I mean, I'll watch some more and get back to you. That is fucking good. I like the ones where it's like they go to Kenya. Yes. It doesn't have anything to do with the source of the Nile.

Oh, and they give each other like shitty gifts. That's like my favorite thing about the show. They carry something horrible over a long distance. Yeah, there's one where they go to vietnam and they're on scooters and he has to carry a giant pirate ship model on the back of it god some of that stuff those guys have made it really difficult you know to do my gig because it's they're so often where it's like oh let, let's do this thing. Top Gear did it in 02. Shit. Oh, let's do that. Top Gear did it in season seven. It's like your Simpsons.

Yeah, exactly. Fucking Peter Griffin. Yes, exactly. Let me do an advertisement here, and then maybe we'll watch somebody get shot. I always enjoy that. I've got a little video there linked for you. Okay.

Yeah, I guess we'll do Kyle. When you drive for the right ride-sharing app, every trip can feel like a walk in the park. With Lyft, you can pick your own hours and work when you want. Lyft can make driving the best job in the world. Only Lyft offers in-app tipping. When you drive for Lyft, you keep 100% of the tips. Drivers have made over

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lyft.com pka and you'll get a $500 new driver bonus. That's lyft.com pka lyft.com pka. Limited time, only terms apply. Check it out. Can you guys hook up the Lyft coupons?

Let's get it on. Get it on. Just did. Yep. We always hook up Lyft. Because if you're going to do a ride sharing app, you just have to treat yourself. You want something reputable. You want the newest, nicest car. You want a comfortable ride.

Maybe you're going out with a nice lady or a gentleman. I don't judge. You take them out in a nice lady or a gentleman i don't judge you know like you you take them out in a nice classy car this is that might be a really nice uh like like automotive youtube channel you pick people up for lyft and really fast like high-end sports cars and stuff people have done what i've thought about promotions yeah they've definitely been for like movies or like when an artist has an album coming out, they'll definitely drive me up. You know what my favorite thing that's kind of like that is? When Jeff Gordon did that thing with the Camaro. With my friend Travis, it calls – oh, the commercials?

That was so cool. He pretends like he's buying a Camaro from a salesman, and he's like really he's like doesn't know how to drive it right like he stalls it immediately and he's got all this fake makeup on a fake mustache like prosthetics a hat commercial right the guy that oh it's all fake yeah commercial I've had an idea

for a while of a funny thing to do with like if you were a Lyft driver is you just drive around obviously you're doing it late at night when people are drunk and when people get in you just tell them like hey you're in the cash cab and then you start asking them questions and at the end there is no cash all right that's four out of five questions right. You would have earned $100 if this were real. That'll be $60. Remember, there's in-app tipping, so I'm satisfied.

I would definitely... I've seen the cash cab going down the street in New York before. It's a hilarious thing. Yeah, it's great to see at night. Ding, ding, ding. It's really funny. Are you saying when people get in the cash cab, they knew they were getting in the cash cab

and they're not blown away? No, I don't think that's true. I do think that once they are in the cash cab and they're really going somewhere, the lights and shit go off on the ceiling and if you're standing on the sidewalk, you're like, oh, that's the cash cab. You can see it.

Can we watch this video? Oh, yes. It's got a really nice lead-up. This is the video I was describing to you the other day after PK and Woody. Were you guys talking about someone getting shot? Do you just randomly bring up do you want to watch a video of someone getting shot?

We got a whole bunch of topics lined up. I've got stuff from all week long I collect things to talk about just in case it gets slow. Usually at like the two and a half hour point, we start watching Accidental or Purposeful Death. It's just kind of our... And that's only if we're not talking about extremely large sex toys. I'm queued up at 249. Am I supposed to be?

I'm squared away at 249. That was where the link took me. Let me... I think we need to start from zero. All right. That's where we are. I'm at zero, so I'm ready to go. Where do we want to be? Zero.

I think we need to start from zero. Okay. All right. Are we ready? It's not. Okay. Ready, set, play. Warning.

The following video contains acts of violence that may be a service or subdued. That's a good voice for that. A lot of faces. Alright, so I assume this is a cop's body cam? Yeah. Looks like he's got a shotgun. He's outside of some sort of motel, I guess? Dormitory. Dorm, okay. And Taylor, you saw a a shotgun I thought in the beginning he was holding a shotgun maybe I saw something else okay now it's just like that first-person shooter kind of look for you exactly you can even see

his arms like swaying like a video game characters he needs to strafe around these corners I see a shotgun or something there, right? It looks like a handgun! Oh yeah, cause we're looking from his chest. We're looking from his chest. Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's got pistols right hand. That's all I agree. He has a pistol. This is like a horror game. It is.

This is like a horror apartment. Oh wait, Kyle's telling us to listen. This drunk guy is saying if you come out you're gonna get shot. Stay in your room. Stay in your room. Stay in your room! My dorm in college is nothing. Stay in your room!

This looks like a really depressing dorm by the way. Super... Wooo shit! Lay down so he doesn't expect you when he comes around the corner. Got him! He's shocking them like... Oh man. That doesn't seem to have gone well. I think it went as well as it could have gone.

He shot him in the leg. It's good. Pretty fucking good shot, honestly. I doubt he was aiming for the leg, just to be fair. We watched that video a while back where the cop is trying to shoot the autistic man laying in the street. And he hits his handler. And hits another completely innocent bystander. Like, cops can't

shoot. But this guy, I mean, he fired one shot, he hit the guy. That's definitely true. But I doubt he was like, yeah, in the leg. It seemed more like, ah, bang! I don't even see his wound as he's on the ground now. Where did he get shot in the leg? You're not going to see it. It's not like the movies.

I watched a bunch of these today, so I saw like eight suspects get shot, and they've always got to like, where is he shot at, and like dig around and figure out where they shot the guy. It would be easier to tell if he shot himself is what you're saying, because then it would just come out all over the floor. Oh, man. Back to my own expertise. I watched a video earlier today where the guy is getting out of his car with his wallet in his hand, but it looks way too much like a gun, and the cop shoots him twice.

And there's blood coming out right where his asshole is as he lays on the ground. I don't know what happened to him, and he's laying on the ground screaming, why, holding his fucking wallet and money's falling out of it. And the cop lets him lay there for 10 minutes writhing in terrible pain. This is a good YouTube channel. I'll have to check the police activity. It has what you would call good shoots. It has bad shoots. It has police abuse.

And there's a video on there right now that's autoplaying. And it's a cop pulling over a young man. And the guy's like, I'm sorry sorry i was rushing to do my presentation looking for someone to tie this tie and the cops like give me your tie and he ties it for him i tell you what if this guy laying in the the corridor had just shit his pants this would have gone so much better for him he wouldn't have got shot it would have been like always they do that in prison when they're getting attacked by the guards. It's called inking.

Did you make that up or is that real? No, I made that up. It sounds like an Oz thing though, right? Oh yeah, it could be. Can we watch my video? I've been excited about watching it. It's called the desk pop. Oh, I know all about the desk pop. Yeah, Kyle's done some desk pops

That channel's legit though, just look at their stats That channel is a really well-run channel, it has good view counts it's well-managed So what is this? So if people don't know, the Tour de France is going on right now and at the end of each stage

there's a sprint to win that particular stage, and of course have the best overall time. So what's happening is there's a little sprint in the end. And one guy intentionally elbows another guy into the boards and injures him. Are you guys ready? And then I guess the guy who does this gets punished, like kicked out. Three, two, one, play.

When I saw this, his punishment wasn't decided I Assume you guys are the beginning of this. I didn't check first right yeah We're sorry we started to start now. They show it a couple of times So you don't have to like replay it or anything my business partner is super about tour de france And I've had to watch the entire thing like years in a row oh Shit yeah about Tour de France and I've had to watch the entire thing like years in a row. Oh shit. Dude, watch. The guy that gets knocked down, someone else comes and rides over his face. You'll see it. What? Oh yeah, rides over the guy's face.

Now wait, did the guy who did the knocking end up winning? I didn't see that part. No, but he did better than the guy he knocked. Here. Here he is. Watch this. Oh! Ain't shit! Now keep watching! Someone's gonna run him over his face!

There it is! Oh, now he's holding his teeth! That guy had a shit day. Did you see? So he... He not only got run his his face got run over. He hit like six fists on the way down that were reaching over the wall. They were like pretty fans trying to give him a thumbs up, but it was just as his face goes down through the board.

And there's nothing those guys behind him can do. I don't know how fast they're going, but if you fall down, it seems like it's a guarantee that at least four or Five six people are gonna hit you Probably 40 45 I'm gonna get 20 At that point though like how you know at the last second so that who knows probably high 20s I would guarantee right they're going way too fast to Enjoy what he just did I remember there was a wreck like this

way too fast to to to enjoy what he just did i remember there was a wreck like this although it wasn't intentional with the elbow like a year or two ago and how awful it looked as they piled up remember that huge pile up it happens a lot yeah it's man so so this guy i is this super rare in tour de france that someone physically elbows somebody else i think so i think this blatant kind of thing i i can't i used to be into this a lot and that didn't happen it's a little physical but mostly they respect each other they yeah they ride super close because there's a wind resistance advantage you know they draft i had riding props though right and they could whip each other a little bit like not swords or anything this is that roman chair roman chariot shit. We talked about last week only made dying

But if they had just writing crops like the kind you'd use in the bedroom, you know and You just kept in your teeth right fucking smacking people i'd watch that and and and the coup de grace of course the real move would be would be if you took your riding crop and jammed it into the guy's we as folks right folks fucking tumbling oh the whirling gig from michelson i haven't seen that kind of car since the 96 races it seems like every time you want to improve... It's not like the English do have no honor in this race. Back me up. Every time you want to make a sport better,

golf, cycling, whatever, you just bring it closer to hockey. You just make it more physical. The first thing golf needs to do and tennis needs to do, because you can't just move physicality into golf and tennis. You need to work them up to that. The first thing golf needs to do and tennis needs to do, because you can't just move physicality into golf and tennis. You need to work them up to that. The first thing is the spectators need to be able to yell.

They need to be able to be like, you fucking suck, Woods. You suck, Tiger Woods. You suck. Or you suck, Mackleson, or whatever their names are. Mickleson, that's what you want. You don't want it in tennis. You just combine Mickleson and McLemore, I think. Yeah, or whatever the fuck that little young Irish guy who's just incredible is.

Oh, McElroy. McElroy. McElroy, yeah. I think that's his name. But that's what you need. And in tennis, I don't watch tennis, but it's annoying when I hear them about to serve. You can hear the little gossiping of the crowd. And then as they're about to serve,

everybody goes, and then you can't do it with a little bit of noise, with some raucous cheering. You'd think you'd want that. You know the most hardcore fucking thing that ever happened in a tennis match was, right? Was it, I probably got to get a wrong name. Was it Monica Sellis

that the fan ran up and fucking stabbed? Steffi Graf. That was Steffi Graf. The one who was married to Andre Agassi, right? All I remember is there was a really good female tennis player and a fan ran up and stabbed her.

That is... Monica Sellis. You were right. It's Monica Selleles. Damn! Nicely done. That's what I get for talking. It's never the same. Well, the best stabbing is of course the cheaters stabbing. What's the cheaters stabbing?

The television show cheaters? Yes, yes, yes! What's his name? That guy's stupid fucking name out on the boat. And the guy gets stabbed on the boat. Yeah, it's the best. Wait. What's the backstory here? Because I have no idea what you're talking about. Cheaters is a reality TV show in which they kind of do a private eye sort of thing. Like, you know, we're dating.

I suspect you have cheating. So they follow you around and catch you cheating. And then there's kind of a confrontation at the end, almost a catch-a-predator style. And I guess they were on a boat at the end, almost a Catch a Predator style. And I guess they were on a boat. I forgot how they got there. But sure enough, like one stabs the other.

Joey Greco. Joey Greco is the host. And he rolls up on this guy's boat. And he goes up on his boat. The guy is on a boat cheating with the woman. Joey's got his own goddamn boat. And he's just like. This video is two and a half minutes long. Do you want to watch it?

I'm trying to find it right now. I just sent the link out. Yeah, it's on Daily Motion. I hate to say it. But yeah, they board this other dude's boat. He fucking stabs the host. Are we ready? Pirate? Yeah, go ahead.

Let me just see if I can get better quality. Nope. Ready, set, play. No, the locks are gonna be changed. Will y'all please back up and get off my boat already? Nope. I just wanna see how it's standing. You know what I'm saying? You got me. You got me. Wait, are you guys there? I feel like I lost you. Oh, we're here.

Mitchell, stop! Stop, Mitchell! Someone fell in the drink. Stop! Yeah, it gets out of hand quickly. That knife. Yeah, choke gets out of hand quickly. That knife... Yeah, choke Rick up.

I'll tell him! I think they choked him out. I think the guy's unconscious. They just put a rear naked choke on him. You know what my favorite thing is about this whole video? Is that they're on a pontoon boat. What's wrong with you, Mitchell? You're not gonna see me anymore. There's like nine of them. So who got stabbed, the host? Yeah, here's the host, Joey Greco, laying on the... They rolled up in like a water ski boat, but the cheater was on a pontoon boat getting smashed.

Anybody with no first aid? I'm gonna call you, boy, you gonna get me? first thing you got give me so he's still trying to salvage some of these relationships I'm already hanging off you! Yeah, this is... Actually... When did this happen? Wait till I go. It's pretty old.

I'll be wrapping. This video was published in 09. I think it was around then. I remember it being around then. Huh. Man. Yeah. I mean, that's what you get when you're futzing around with unstable people on a boat.

It's something important like that. Joe Greco was the guy who was always in your face, like, exposing you in front of your loved one, right? Like, in essence, he's ruining your life for his TV show. He's like Chris Hansen, but there's no pedophiles. It's just a guy getting his dick wet when he shouldn't have been, right? I love Chris Hansansen so much so yeah he was a guest here was he everything about chris hansen it was cool to talk to him at all

but he was a little dry to be honest i was like did you ever get mad at any of those pedophiles you're sitting next to a guy talking to he came there to fuck like a 13 year old girl like you have kids like are you sitting there thinking like that could have been my kid getting mad he's like well you know you get a little to that but you're a professional and it's like oh nah come on he's a fucking child say you want to beat him up i felt like they'll step up every answer he's more likely to get stabbed doing what he does with like an erratic pedophile than you would on this cheaters show You know like it's almost an anomaly I know there are cops there

But it seems like if one of the you know one of those like shirtless guys who comes in is like you want a cookie Have a seat like no I don't want a cookie like I know I'm about to get arrested Like and they won't you may have a cookie because they're not gonna have any for the next 15 to 20 like like You would think that one of the guys Disagree with you on this I I think the pedophiles are a gentle sort. I think the people who like to fuck children... No, they fuck children! They're not prone to violence. Well, I mean there's a different kind of violence.

That's definitely fucking children is violent. Okay, you know, in a way, right? Definitely. Yeah, it's not knifey violence. No, these people are going to fold right off under questioning. I don't know. It seems like the same thing of when you corner an animal, you never know what they're going to do. If I corner a raccoon, in its head it goes, I'm fucked.

This is a giant bipedal ape, and it looks like it has way more things than I have. There's a lot of shiny goods, but it's still going to come at me, and it might get an eye. It's going to come at you with everything it has inside of it to destroy you, right? I thought about this... Pedophiles are creepy, but not violent.

No, they're violent. You won't say that because you befriended that pedophile as a child. That nice man with the pocket full of quarters. My pedo story. Matt doesn't know, but a pedo tried to pick me up. I know all you people were ugly kids. You didn't have this experience,

but I was hit on by a pedo. He taught me to play pool. Really? Did he bend you over? Did he really teach you to play pool? Everyone's heard this story before and listens to the show, but basically I would go to this arcade and he would buy the pool games and hang hang out with me and like get me to trust him

until one day he said that said like the perfect thing yeah he's like why don't you come back to my apartment i have an amazing stereo which was like exactly what you would say to me at the time like it was my dream having a stereo with speakers that were like nipple high and uh and I can just imagine you get to That guy's living room. He fucking hits it hits the button You're like jamming out as he like starts like massage your shoulders you're like Put on his smock and be like, do you like Huey Lewis and the News? I'm really picturing Sister Christian, you know, from fucking Boogie Nights. He's Cosmo, he's Chinese, like that song.

Motor run! Sister Christian, I hate you. In the truest sense though, Woody, you are almost molested. Because that guy, there's no way he was like, yeah, I can't wait to go show this nine-year-old my super cool stereo and knock some balls around on my pool table. You know, we don't have to pay for this table. I've got one at home.

I've got snacks there, too. I've got sleepy drinks, and I've got lots of Benadryl. High C. Jesus juice, whatever's in I've got lots of Benadryl. High C. Jesus juice. Whatever's in that, it's yours. It's just a lot of cough medicine. You look stuffy. Have some propofenol. I don't know the drug.

Propofol. Propofol. You ever get that shit? It's nasty stuff. Before surgery, it is the greatest stuff. If I was hurt right now, that would be the thing I was most looking forward to. I've had it, like, I don't know, three, four times in my life, and I'm, like, remotely addicted. I just love it. It is the best experience.

I don't have any experience with that, but if I'm, this is a wild guess, I bet that, like, in those old westerns, when you see the guys smoking opium that that is what smoking opium feels like i bet it's like this dude i got yeah i've got i've had back surgery twice so you before to get through a couple weeks of shooting before my surgery i got a cortisone shot which is a giant fucker and it goes right in your spine i've had that that's nothing though to give you well they had to go through my side so they had to go through like that much me so they're like yeah uh we're gonna give you some low propofol for this so they give it to you and i thought i was asleep and like woke up later turns out not fucking asleep as it turns out not even remotely asleep i was awake through the whole

thing couldn't feel a thing and was fucked up on drugs and saying all kinds of crazy shit. And the reason I know this, and then they sleep and wake you up just so you have a wake-up feeling. So you're asleep for five seconds. You're awake for the whole fucking surgery. And the only reason I know this is because I asked the nurse to videotape

my procedure during which I was saying the craziest goddamn things you can imagine and inviting her to a kegger we were having at the house later and propositioning this bitch and as I woke up... The floor odds making the frogs gay! My phone

starts going ding, ding, ding and it's just video after video of me being a complete goddamn psychopath on drugs. Did you know about the chemtrails? Yeah. Dude, I – so with me, it was before surgery and they gave you that propofol just so that you weren't nervous anymore. But it was long enough that it wore off.

So I have like a full memory of the complete propofol cycle where I was – oh, no. It's great. I would – yeah. yeah no if there was an anesthesiologist right here i would be like dude give me a hookup give me a hookup it is it's a glorious experience with that in his system apparently yeah oh he died on that shit it wasn't just like in his system that was an on that shit they called the mixture of propofol and benzodiazepine drugs so that doesn't seem like a good thing to be mixing but. It says it's a mixture of propofol and benzodiazepine drugs. So that doesn't seem like a good thing to be mixing.

It says that it's not very good, Woody, for recreational use, this propofol, because apparently the level of attention you need when you put yourself on this recreationally is like prohibitive. Wasn't that like the thing?

Michael Jackson had his doctor there. I don't understand. Why is it that? Conrad Murray. It means it's like if you do it, it's not like having a few beers where it's like, oh man, maybe I'm slurring my words, but I'll just go sit on the couch and sober up or something.

Or like marijuana or other drugs. It's like you do it and then you're just like almost heroin-esque, I guess, just like conked out, totally non-functional. And you need someone there to like make sure you don't die because you're probably not doing it with a registered nurse or a doctor because you're doing propofol recreationally. It's bad because you need a care, like a tour guide almost to take care of you. Is that? Yeah, it says critically the steep dose response curve of the drug makes potential misuse very dangerous without proper monitoring and deaths from Self-administration continue to be reported

Personal like that's not a good idea. I'm like in surgery. Yeah, doctor You just shady doctor to to do it you were getting to like be having surgery It's called dip Ravan so I guess dipper van is the medication or maybe that I don't know I don't know i don't know i'm not reading this whole fucking wikipedia article no top to bottom it'll be great show please get to the references i can't wait oh yeah there's a lot of them oh there's only two footnotes here listen up i'm going to describe in great detail the compound layout of it starts out with a helix axis yeah that's probably i i also i haven't done many drugs but lsd that's

is that the one with like uh alice in wonderland type thing where you see things you don't that somehow i that's another drug where you need a tour guide right like someone should stay no oh no what am i thinking of you can do acid and be okay you need to have like a fairly positive state of mind or at least i would recommend that but yeah you don't need no no like propofol is like medical anesthesia yeah it's fantastic like you yeah like you need to that shit needs to be so carefully dosed on a continuous basis that that's a whole other level of shit lsd is like uh and you know you're good i recommend a spirit guide maybe but you don't need an actual what are they taking was lsd that's a whole other level of shit. LSD is like, ah, and you're good. I recommend a spirit guide, maybe,

but you don't need an actual medical professional. Was LSD what they had on Mad Men? Does anybody know this? LSD is mostly what Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is. I don't think I saw that. Oh, fuck off. Am I really talking to someone who's never seen Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? Yeah, fucking Taylor.

It's a great movie. I love Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? Yeah, fucking Taylor. What? It's a great movie. I love Fear and Loathing. The drug scene in the beginning where they're driving down that desert highway is done so well that I'll be sitting there watching it and it's stressing me out because I'm put in their situation where I'm

the guy in the passenger seat or the driver's seat and just, oh, the bat. He's chewing on his cigar in that frantic way. It just freaks you out. This is where the bat country went. My attorney and I recommended a very fast car with no top. I don't think I have seen this.

Is this Johnny Depp? It's Johnny Depp playing Hunter S. Thompson and Benicio del Toro playing his psychopath attorney. It's an awesome movie. Truly a great, great movie based on a great, great book by Hunter Thompson. Have you ever seen

those Hunter S. Thompson daily ritual things where it shows what he did? Oh, yeah. It's like, wake up at 2 p.m. and do cocaine. And then at 3pm, smoke some

grass. And then 4pm, you need Regal Chivas or whatever kind of whiskey you was drinking. Chivas are like two of those. And then you have a small lunch. And then cocaine. And then grass. And then more liquor. And like, it gets to be like... Until 4 in the morning. Yeah, 4 in the morning. And then he goes

Hunter S. Thompson. What Hunter S. Thompson what Hunter S. Thompson did everyday have you never seen that Kyle? no Kyle you must have seen Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas before right? oh yeah it's just a long time yeah so the guy who wrote that his daily routine in fact if you want to read

some really funny shit Hunter S. Thompson wrote car reviews for Playboy Magazine and motorcycle reviews. And Hunter S. Thompson wrote a Ducati review that was fucking hysterical. Where he's like, this goddamn death machine wants me fucking dead!

And they published this. It was incredible. I almost don't believe his schedule here, because i can't imagine doing this an entire like 3 p.m you rise he's on the kyle schedule 305 he has shivas regal with the morning papers and a dunhill cigarette 345 cocaine 350 another glass of whiskey three or 405 first cup of coffee and a cigarette 415 cocaine 416 orange juice and a cigarette 430 cocaine 454 cocaine 505 cocaine 511 coffee and cigarettes 530 more ice in your drink

545 cocaine six o'clock grass to take the edge off 705 he has a heineken two margaritas two cheeseburgers two orders of fries a plate of of tomatoes, coleslaw, a taco salad, a double order of onion rings, carrot cake, ice cream, bean fritter, a cigarette, another Heineken, cocaine, and for the ride home, a snow cone, over which he pours three or four jiggers of whiskey. 9 p.m. cocaine, 10 p.m. drops acid, 11 p.m. chartreuse, cocaine, and weed, 11.30 cocaine, midnight, Hunter is ready to write. weed, 1130 cocaine, midnight, Hunter is ready to write. 12.05 to 6 a.m., chartreuse, cocaine, weed, whiskey, coffee, Heineken, clove cigarettes,

grapefruit, cigarettes, orange juice, gin, 6 a.m. in the hot tub, champagne, Dove bars, fettuccine, Alfredo, 8 a.m., Halcyon, which is a sleeping medication. Oh my god, Halcyon? Halcyon's like anti-psychotic. Calling that a sleeping medication is

like calling jet fuel like lighter fluid. And imagine he needs that after this day. I wonder why he has mental problems. Does he write between midnight and 12.05 though? No, he writes between midnight and 6am.

Oh, okay. I was like, that's a really relaxed schedule. Yes. I just, I like the middle part of his day where between 4.15 and like 5.05, he does cocaine seven times. That's his morning, dude. That's only an hour after he got up. That's his like, why does he even

bother with the coffee? Yeah, what's the point? My favorite, I think is the snow cone. I really... I like the single-gloved cigarette that he had that day. He's like, I'm gonna treat myself because I haven't been doing that all day.

I like single-gloved cigarettes. I haven't smoked them since I was a teenager and someone had them. Right? You get the Jarum Ultras and the Jarum Specials and Jararam Blacks. Tasted good. They were. Yeah, these are cool.

Those smell good. If you smoke two of those in a row, though, it feels like you get mouth cancer. It's fucking good. You do. I only smoked one. Yeah. Let's talk about CNN blackmailing a Reddit user. A Reddit user basically laying it out there that they basically forced him to apologize for making the gif that portrays Donald Trump beating up CNN.

You know, it's footage. I got the whole background on this. And they didn't even get the right guy, apparently. No, they did, I think. I did see someone say that. I think they did, and I think he apologized pretty fucking quick, too. I don't think it was quite blackmail. I think it was like really poor word choice, but I don't think it was quite blackmail.

I saw what Taylor saw. Someone was like, it wasn't even him. But I think it was. I think that they started off. What I'm saying, what I heard, Woody, is that you could tell because the guy who posted it that they got in trouble, his was like a different aspect ratio and there was no sound to it and it was just a visual gif and the one that trump tweeted has audio and is by in a in the correct aspect ratio and so i heard someone saying that someone took the original gif and then put sound back on it because the one that the guy had posted didn't have sound i don't that's what i heard oh no i would be the first guy then i don't know but yeah

so it got enhanced after him maybe i don't know but uh i've been seeing this gift forever months the thing is uh this guy was so two things one cnn was kind of an asshole they're clearly internet ignorant in and they're like hey we'll keep all your info private but if you keep being an asshole we won't which is doxing right that yeah they're troll trays from south park yeah they're troll traces and uh you know i i bet it at cnn if you were to say like oh but you're blackmailing him under the threat of dox these idiots don't even know what doxing is like they don't understand what they're oh Oh, they definitely would know, I think. To me, they're internet tone deaf in the way that they handled this.

Oh, yeah, definitely. It shows that it's a threat in that the way they handled it, which I agree with Matt, it was handled badly. They go like, oh, yeah, we're gonna release your name if you do anything more that we don't like. If you do something we don't like, then your information is news. Then your address and your name and your searchable and of course we know this world of political

like everybody's so fucking amped up if you give that information out there's not a an unlikely chance there's going to be like a protest or a bunch of people showing up at that guy's home and they go oh but if you don't do what we don't like then that's not news that's no longer am i the only one who thinks that this whole thing is fucking juvenile and ridiculous that cnn will even care about this because this is it like it's not even a real fight first of all keep that in mind like the footage we're looking is for children it's a mock fight for entertainment purposes and so as a silly gesture to show that trump is kind of getting one over on cnn they metaphorically have him beat them up literally and this is this goes this is

so far from any kind of a threat or any kind of a violent threat yeah there's it's so years ago trump was on wwe and i think it's against vincent mcmahon yeah it's vincent and he kind of like clotheslined him and beat him up and then they they put the CNN logo over Vince McMahon's face so it looked like Trump was taking down a representation of CNN and beating him up. And Trump retreated it, and then they traced down the original author of this GIF, we think. And CNN just got really like, oh, my God, now you're...

They jumped into this victim role of Trump is advocating violence against the press and yada yada. And they really should have just let that one slide because it's trolling. And they got trolled in the worst, in the most effective possible way. It doesn't even make sense. Like you would imagine, right, that someone high up at CNN, like they'd hear like, hey, we're going to make a big deal out of this. And like you'd imagine you'd go, no, no, no. Because then we would be trolled. We don't want to be trolled.

We don't want to make it look like we're so fickle and weak that we have to make a huge kerfuffle out of this. Just let it go. Like, let him look like the immature one here. You know, instead, they basically bail Trump out by making such a big deal about it. Because it was a stupid thing to tweet. Yeah, he should fucking not be fucking tweeting these gifs. What's he doing? He's the fucking president. What are you tweeting gifs

for? Seriously. What are you tweeting gifs for? You're the fucking president. CNN's not fucking perfect. They're retarded sometimes. The problem is people think that the president, when he says things like, when you're the fucking president, everything you say matters

because there's people that aren't sane that will take your shit literally and go do fucking crazy stuff. And there's like, you're the fucking president. What are you doing tweeting GIFs of fucking WWE? Really? You don't have better shit to do? I don't know, some things for the fucking country. So it's dumb to go find the guy.

Like, who gives a fuck who made the fucking stupid GIF? It's a GIF. Who cares if guy A or guy B or guy C made it? But, like, someone, you know, at a certain point, you got to be like, you can't be tweeting GIFs for the president. Yeah, it's not professional at all. Like, of course, when I saw it, I got a laugh out of it because I think a lot of people do because it's just kind of surreal to be like, oh my god, this is the president's Twitter account.

Yeah, I wake up every single morning and just wish I didn't have to be like, fuck you, you shitbag, but I do. At the same time, though, it seems like if there is a battle going on between a multi-billion dollar multinational media conglomerate and a Reddit user who they don't like because of his gifts, everyone should be on the side of, hey, CNN, stop that. Don't threaten someone.

Like, if on the other side of the coin, if Fox News did this to someone, it would be equally ridiculous. Like, you're threatening someone. You're an enormous conglomerate that has so much power and it's kind of gross seeing people be like well yeah but cnn they should have just released it anyway and it's like yeah but the point isn't whether or not they released it the point is they held it over the guy's head you know like that's pretty freaky shit just want to throw out there not that it makes what cnn does right but the guy they went through his reddit history and he threatened to dox people and shit like that too like he lost yeah i've heard he's not a good guy

wish doxing upon people wish doxing upon people as well you know like we should dox this guy we should this we should that um you know they tried to lead a dox mob if you want to call it i don't know but uh so this guy was a bit of an asshole. Oh, I don't doubt it, but it's still the fact of CNN is a giant corporation. And a lot of actors shouldn't behave like an asshole. Yeah, they should not be behaving like that, and they shouldn't be setting a precedent

of, oh, anonymous internet user? Guess what? I found information on you, and if you don't stop your internet shenanigans, then we're going to release it and make you a potential target. When the president starts tweeting your shit though you know

I like privacy but you know when the president starts tweeting your shit man sometimes it's going to be fucking news. It would be news but it's not news of who made the gif it's the news of why did Trump tweet this gift like the fact that they went a layer further is because they were trying to connect Trump as though he was

like good friends with this guy like this is a great gift I love this gift I'm gonna post it right now like anything is a mistake because he's a fucking idiot he couldn't even be but anyway it's freaky that cnn or any news organization would do that yeah they went too far i think when they tracked down the original gift maker and they if they had just said oh my gosh look how unprofessional the president is then they would have won this little internet battle but instead cnn lost it so that's that i have a new topic yes taylor you were called out recently on the internet and and i wondered oh i had forgotten about this yeah you were called out recently and i wondered if if perhaps we should address that

or if you would like to because because it was you who was called out. Should we see the call out? Yeah, let's hear it from the horse's mouth. I'm queued up at zero. I am all queued up at zero. Let me put it on the screen. Okay, are we ready? Yep.

Ready, set, play. Put it on the screen. Okay. Are we ready? Yep. Ready set play Fuck Mirka shit about Mirka I'm trying to figure out if he's winning or losing this game. All Murka did was come in and take all the money I deserve from PK. That's all Murka Durka did, so fuck him. Fuck you Murka. Fuck you, Murka. Fuck you. Murka, I don't know if I tell you that often enough. All his PK shekels.

You were gonna be like, well, Murka spent just as much time as you on the show now. That's because I was kicked off the show and he was giving my spot right at the time they started making money on it. But wait, we gave you a spot. Hmm.

making money on it. But wait, we gave you Lefty's spot. See, hmm. Wings had been gone for quite some time when you came along. That's true, isn't it? It doesn't add up! Mirka didn't replace Wings, Mirka replaced Lefty. He certainly didn't. No one replaced Wings. That's right. MirkaDirkish, every time Mir time mercador could buy something nice for himself he should be thinking man wings is a good person now that part is true that's what he should be thinking well i mean that's definitely true you know every time you

buy something taylor you should be thinking wings of is a good person, and if he didn't exist, I wouldn't be where I am today. That's what confused me so much about it when I read that. I think I saw it on the PKA Reddit first, and I watched it, and it was like, going into it, I'm like, oh, huh. I haven't talked to him in a very long time, so I don't know what

this opinion might be. Obviously PKA related. And then I watched it, and my first thought, but I wasn't 100% sure, I was like i'm i'm like so like 99 sure i replaced lefty like i'm so i'm like almost positive that i had nothing to do with him leaving the show and it turns out you guys are all corroborating that so i did replace lefty um i don't know i don't i don't really care doesn't doesn't matter to me very much it doesn't like it doesn't i i don't care. I don't really care. It doesn't matter to me very much. I don't care. I didn't ask if you cared.

I asked if every time you buy something nice, you're thinking Wings of Redemption and you're lucky stars. Instead of doing the crucifix thing, I just do a W. I'm thankful to Wings at all of my family events. Thank you, Wings, for the food we're about to partake of like that kind of thing

so yeah obviously throw him in there with Jesus yeah throw him in there with Jesus a la the rest the whole gamut it's good to see that he's doing well both physically and mentally and he's not lashing out like a wounded animal or anything at innocent people

I mean but when you think about it kyle i did take lefty's spot so i did someone said something on the pka subreddit that like opened my eyes a little bit and it was that like the context in this apparently if what he said is true in the PK subreddit, people provoke Wings into doing shit like this. Matt, you don't know. Wings of Redemption was a host on this podcast for a while. And at one point, we unanimously sort of voted him off the island. We all had our own reasons, but he wasn't a fit with us anymore. Sorry to hear that.

How unfortunate. Right. And also, after Wings left, the podcast got monetized better. Ah. She just came in, and those ads that we do, she just started bringing those in, and we started a Patreon, and Wings was kind of here for the unprofitable part of the podcast, but not for the part where there was any money.

Right. Did he want alimony? You know, but this happens in businesses all the time, right? Like, if I work for Twitter, and I'm there for that, like, startup period, and then I say, fuck it, I don't have any faith in this company, I'm out, and then after I leave, it blows up. Yes. I don't get anything.

And that's exactly what happened, because every single. Yes. I don't get anything. And that's exactly what happened because every single, well, I missed a lot of shows, but I always had a good excuse. I never ditched a show. I had work stuff going on, but we all came to this show 100% of the time when we could

unless it was absolutely unavoidable except for him when there was no money. He was always making excuses. He always had a date or something to go to. It was always, always ah can we move this around or that around and can we call it can we call it a night we're an hour in and you gotta you gotta do the work remember that time he died i worked for three years with no money really the time he died he had slept in and missed the show like like i came up with a funny joke and everybody forg gives him like it was his idea to die But he just slept in well. I'm gonna go he's out. Okay, so he's out. So what's what's the issue then well?

Well, he thinks that he he thinks that Taylor has filled his shoes and is collecting his checks and And and he's holding that against Taylor here. Merca is like one of Taylor's internet handles, so that's why he's... Let me just say, I harbor no ill will towards Wings at all. I have nothing against him whatsoever. I know exactly what Woody's talking about. Like the goaded internet thing. This is just one section of a stream, I'm pretty sure.

And I bet people have been commenting it trying to get a rise or something like that. But at the same time, I don't think I'm still here just because I fell into the part. Question. How long after this person left did the monetization change happen?

A couple months. But it was a gradual thing that... Yeah, exactly wait how many how many months was wings gone before i came on because it was there was a period of time five five months oh i think five months you don't get it i don't think you get to claim five months if it was two months maybe yeah five months is a long time and how you guys podcast a lot right yeah this episode 342 it's weekly. We're like five years into this.

Okay, what episode approximately did he depart? 250. No, no, remember he came back for 200 as a special thing? Yeah. I don't think he gets a cut. I think if you guys wanted to be really, really kind gentlemen, you could offer him a small little squeeze as a thank you for helping build the factory that now sells the product. Well, you have to remember, I didn't

leave on great terms, and he's been talking about us ever since. We talk about him now again, too. We set up projects to make him money and stuff, and he always spits in our face and that sort of thing. I don't know the guy, but I'm sure he's a nice guy, but if you're talking shit on the internet, you probably shouldn't

get paid. That's just me. Yeah. I would handle that. I try to empathize. I can see a world where they provoke me to say something about people who I thought wronged me. Right, but you can't talk shit and get paid. You got to pick money or shit or pride. You know what I mean?

You want to get paid, you got to swallow your pride. And I feel like this dude chose. You know what I mean? You want to get paid, you got to swallow your pride. And I feel like this dude chose. I, you know, I worked with some people in the beginning that helped me build the factory that I now use to make shoes, you know, just have different gigs and they worked with me when there was not much money and then i learned how to make mcdonald's instead of fine steak and now i make a good profit doing this but fundamentally like they helped me build an audience which i then used to to take it further and i don't i don't legally or or really even morally owe them anything yeah and we parted on did you see the part where he was discussing a lawsuit against us yeah that i didn't see that I don't legally or really even morally owe them anything. Yeah. And we parted on good terms. Did you see the part where he was discussing a lawsuit against us?

Yeah. I didn't see that. What did he say? Oh, yeah. There's a whole other video where he's like doing some kind of crazy fishy math. He's like, Taylor's making like, I don't know, $6 million a year or something. And all I should have been mine. Oh, you guys got that podcast money, huh? That everyone keeps talking got that podcast money, huh? Yeah, apparently.

And he says, and someone says, well, why don't you sue them? I guess that's me and you, Woody. And he's like, ah, well, this and that and blah, blah, blah. And I'd lose that case, I guess. And it's like, yeah, of course you would. You most certainly would. What are you talking about? What grounds

are you suing on? These are people who were just Yeah. We split the money equally while I was on the show you know he got paid for all the stuff he did he just didn't get paid for the stuff he didn't do yeah no you no worky no checky you know honestly

I'm gonna in the big David Lee Roth Van Halen split I'm gonna side with Van Halen and Sammy Hagar down to in the big David Lee Roth Van Halen split, I'm going to slide to Van Halen and Sammy Hagar down here in the corner. You were saying that you had to leave soon? Oh yeah, I do have to roll out. I apologize. But I managed to get through, what,

almost the three hours? That's pretty solid. So how do our subscribers find you? Yeah, I'm sorry I have to ditch out early, but thank you guys for having me. This was really good fun. I'd like to do it again sometime if you guys are looking for a guest. If any of you I like to do my podcast, the Smoke and Tire podcast

on iTunes and ShoutEngine. I like to do it in person. If you guys find yourself in Los Angeles for any reason, by all means, let me know and come into the studio and hang out with us. It's modeled on the Opie and Anthony program, which we didn't get to talk about. Opie Radio canceled today.

Next time. Now it's just little Jimmy left. Dude, you know I was fucking booked on that show for August 1st. Really? Check your email. Probably the product worker. I'm sorry, that's pretty funny, though. That sucks. I'm sorry.

But if you're going to come on the Smoking Tire podcast, anything slash the Smoking Tire. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, ShoutEngine, iTunes for the podcast. We made two movies, All Cars Go to Heaven 1 and 2, which you can buy from our website.

They're fucking cheap. They're basically like Top Gear shitbox challenges driving across entire states off-road in crappy cars.'s a really good fun they're like three bucks um and uh new car reviews every monday through thursday at 7 a.m eastern on the smoking tire youtube channel and uh that's about it it's been all the plugs i got awesome thank you very much i really enjoyed having you yeah thanks for having me guys that was of fun. Yeah, ask your buddy if he remembers me. I think he will. Alex, I'm sure he will remember the FPS Russia guy.

A hundred percent. Yeah, he spends about half his time out here. So if you do come out to L.A., we'll do a podcast with him, too. It would be really – he's a fucking – That guy is on this week's episode of the Smoking Tire podcast if you want to hear and he just drove across India in a shitty Indian car

so he's got these crazy stories from India That's fascinating Yeah, really enjoyed it Of course, have a good night guys Appreciate it Alright, I think I have one more advertisement here. Yeah.

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We're only doing a limited quantity run for the time being of 100 hats it seems here. So, if you ever wanted to get one of these before, now would be the time. They're super high quality and we've got really fast shipping to our european listeners compared to other merchandise manufacturers nice that hat looks cool can i see the stitching up close uh that's totally not showing any stitching the the embroidery can't let me let me pull up my i wasn't looking at what I was showing you.

You're like, I see what you're doing. Yeah, sure. Okay, I get it. Oh no, there's a lot more. There we are. Now we're holding... We're just not gifted at this. Oh, now we're doing panning shots. That's what I was looking for.

That's the shot. Yes. It's a good hat. Only $100, so probably you have to order fast to get one. Yeah, only $100 for the hats. He's not saying only $100, so you're not confused. Because that wouldn't be a deal at all. That would be a very expensive hat.

You need a very good coupon code to make that worthwhile. $100 hats, 93% off. Did you guys see this Hobby Lobby thing? No. So basically what they did is apparently – Kyle, have you heard about this? Negative. So Hobby Lobby apparently is going to have to pay a $3 million fine now because over the last few years they've been bringing in old cuneiform or cuneiform and hieroglyphs and old ancient like carving on rocks from the Middle East under the guise of it being tile samples. So they just were collecting historical documents in like stone and saying, no, this is just tile.

We just want a bunch of tile and they had to return a fuck ton of it because they bought like tons worth of ancient middle eastern uh writings and uh and historical documents and stuff like that like historically significant manuscripts antiquities and other cultural materials the acquisition of cultural material property from iraq including cuneiform tablets, cylinder seals, carries a risk that sub-objects may have been looted from archaeological sites in Iraq.

That's legit stealing. It says, Hobby Lobby agreed to buy over 5,500 ancient artifacts, including cuneiform tablets, clay, boulet, and cylinder seals for one point. What is Hobby Lobby up to?

This sounds like one of those things where the owner of the company is into some sort of ancient dark magic. This is the beginning of a movie. He's like, yes, all of the architecture from ancient Babylonia and all the cuneiform tablets, bring them to me. I will bring my wife back from the dead. This sounds like someone up at Hobby Lobby is trying to resurrect the Antichrist or bring Mug Lug, the mud mud god up from the underworld or something like that

yeah like how how do you be this this cocky as like like it's not like they're bill gates or something where they're gonna be like hey bill like you can't do that and bill's like all right i'll pay 10 times the fine can i keep them now they're like oh i guess so but like like what are they doing here like we've got the might of the arts and crafts industry behind us no one can stop us like god's on their side like their better angle would have been to be like buying those for some sort of arts and craft not tile you know like if you want to if i try and push like ancient Sumeria as like the new black you know like ancient pyramids and you know maybe you do a graphite etching on top

of it you know get the old Jewish runes or whatever they are so I mean I don't know I'm just saying if I ran on arts and crafts money laundering organization for the purpose of getting like an arc of the covenant I would have been a little smarter about it. I'm sure

it's not a money laundering event, but it's just I don't know. It's silly. Kyle's right. Who the fuck even thinks to buy stuff like that? How can you? You can't read it. Are you going to hire a secret historian? They don't want to read it. So they're either gathering those things because they think someone thinks that they're going to be worth

a lot of money eventually or that they are worth a lot of money and they're getting them at a steal. Or, like I said, to whoever is okaying this purchase, they have some sort of other significance. I know that people at Hobby Lobby are a real Christian, right? They're the ones who were sticklers about Obamacare forcing them to pay for certain kinds of birth control, which of course means the morning after pill, not condoms. They're opposed to the morning after pill. I hate that, that everybody works that misinformation angle. First of all, I don't care if Hobby Lobby is forced to pay for the morning after pill or not. I'm sure they don't mean the regular pill as well. That's the thing.

They're all clumped together, though, right? It's the morning after pill that they had the most issue with. Ah, okay. Because if you view that as soon as the sperm cell in the egg, as soon as the egg is fertilized, that that's a human life, then the morning after pill is murder to you. Because the Catholic Church doesn't like condoms in the pill a human life, then the morning after pill is murder to you. So, whereas... The Catholic Church doesn't like

condoms and the pill and stuff like that, too. They don't like either one. So I don't think the Catholic Church likes the morning after pill at all. But they also don't like condoms. So I say, shit or get off the pot. You gotta be okay with condoms if you're gonna be so staunchly against

the morning after, you know? Because otherwise, all these, I don't know, Italy's in a horrible place right now probably because of these Pope policies. And the EU. I don't know, but probably like six of one, half dozen of the other.

It might be cultural as well. Could be. Something like 25% of Italians are still living with their parents when they're like 30. Because there are so little opportunity. And also the culture of living in a big house as the entire family. Which I get the cultural difference. But doesn't that sound awful? Like if you had to live in the same home with your grandparents and and a couple uncles and aunts and your parents and your sisters and like that would that would suck yeah like that i think what drives guys out of their homes

is wanting to be seen as an adult by girls right like it tell me if i'm right on this but like you just don't want to be living with your mom and dad when you're 22 because it impacts your dating life. Right? Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, I think that's what drives people out. I think girls live with their parents longer. Does that sound right? I have no idea.

Yeah, in my tiny little sample set of my particular universe, that's true. Maybe we have your own place we can go to. Okay. Yeah, in my tiny little sample set of, you know, my particular universe, that's true. But... There's a place we can go to. Okay. That's funny. With a number on the door. Every place has a number on the door, not just rent-by-the-hour hotels.

That didn't work. Rent-by-the-hour hotel? Goodness. Just need a power nap. Yeah, I just, like, What gets kids out of the house? What gets kids out of the house nowadays? Because I feel like America's moving that way too. You know, people are staying

home longer. Well, that's because they have to because they can't afford to leave. Yeah. I wonder how that will keep up. There's definitely a thing with people who entered the workforce like five years ago entered into a recession. They got a raw deal. Their whole career might be

delayed by five years. It was just tough. It was a tough time to get a job. Living conditions are more expensive and wages are lower across the board. It's just harder to do it than it was 30 years ago. It was harder 30 years ago than it was

50 years ago. Even in its heart, it was harder 30 years ago than it was 50 years ago. Yeah. Post-World War II, if you're a fucking human man who's not retarded and can swing a hammer, well shit, your family can have a Chevrolet and a three-bedroom house, right?

Yeah, because the rest of the world was rebuilding, so we had a gigantic benefit. We should have kept blowing shit up. We'd still be there. We did. South America's pretty darn tarnished, if you ask me. I feel like we should have done what they did in CSA.

We should have, after we won and beat the Japanese, just continue on and take all of South America and make that ours. Confederate States of America, what would have happened if the South would have won? It's a mockumentary. It's fucking hilarious. It's even got mockumentary commercials built in. If the South would have won, they wouldn't have conquered the North. They just would have been their own

country. Yeah, that's what happens. Well, in the movie, what happens is... Okay, so what actually happened in real life is there was this Jewish fellow who was part of the southern political scene, and he was sent overseas to bargain with the French to enlist their help for the Confederacy. He failed at this because of anti-Semitism in France. Now, that is the part of history where things change and we divert.

Instead, the French joined with the South, and it's some historical battle that actually happened. They're like, and when the North saw those French colors come alongside the rebel flag, they took their tails and ran as the cowards they were. And then they chase—Harriet Tubman has to help uh lincoln escape to canada and she's making him paint his face black and like going blackface he's like no i don't want to do that and she says mr president we both niggas now and so like and so there's this whole part where like they capture lincoln and he ends up being uh banished to canada uh it's a really good does lincoln tell like attempts to tell a very long story as they're capturing him well the we'll see you have to watch it to get it but the part where they depict the capture of lincoln is depicted through like a 1910 black and white movie because

this is a mockumentary they're telling you the history of all of this from like now they're like it's like you're watching the history channel they're talking about the real so they were like old dramatization dramatization yeah yeah there's dramatizations mixed in there's also false commercials that are based on actual very racist products mixed in like sambo motor oil instead of cops they have slave catchers where it's just like oh bad boys watch and it's just cops chasing black slaves down and recapturing them um it's it's a ridiculous documentary it's definitely worth watching it's csa i feel like the confederates yeah the south gets way too much of a pass for what they did there right they didn't it the federal government had more power than the states that That was settled in 1789.

The states didn't like that. They wanted to keep their slaves. They wanted to trade in ways that weren't... They were traitors. They were traitors. And then they went to war with the North and tried to kill other Americans. And when I see that Confederate flag, it is a traitor's flag, right?

It was just as much a failed revolution as a civil war when you think about it you know yeah yeah i i agree with that too but i feel like the south oh it's the war of northern aggression bullshit bullshit you guys absolutely started that war and uh do we i have no idea who fired first yeah it happened at that uh that that fort right that off i i feel like they were like northern ships firing at a uh southern like uh uh fort that's like uh on on the water on the ocean maybe i remember but but it's just like fucking like 10th grade history coming back to me yeah sure they were just as but what they didn't do i i think it's i think there's a

difference between them trying to overthrow and like no no, all of America is under our thing now. Like that's that there's a difference between that and what they did, which is like, no, we won't do what you say anymore. That's. Yeah, that's a failed revolution, though, right? That's that's the it's the opposite of like patriotism. That's people trying to get out of the American Revolution was the exact same thing, right? We threw that T in there because we didn't like the tax on the T. Sure. We were very much rebelling against the

British, but this is America, right? You rebelled against America. That's how it should be seen. There's nothing built into the Constitution for overthrowing our current government if it ever gets out of hand. And I'm not defending the Civil War or anything or what was in their minds as they did it.

We're just getting down to the definition of words. It's silly. I'm just trying to propose a viewpoint that I feel like isn't often proposed. I feel like you often hear, oh, these were brave men. Yeah, sure, I guess guess they're brave but they were treasonous people trying to get out of america that's yeah but most like the average soldier wasn't a treasonous person i wouldn't think like the average you know confederate soldier like most of them were fighting for the people next to them and for their families or at least they thought like it's definitely just like with every war a difference between the people next to them and for their families, or at least they thought. It's definitely, just like with every war, a difference between the people and that upper echelon of control and kind of

the boots on the ground. Nobody fighting at slaves. Those guys with rifles out there. Yeah, those guys didn't have any kind of benefit whatsoever. Those were just, you know, fucking poor people who got massacred. In the movies they did, but in real life, like 8% of people or like 6%.

But Kyle's correct. Most people who were fighting in those trenches, like they were poor. They probably didn't even own land. Like they were probably, you know, had pretty shitty lives. Even the best life in like 1840 had to kind of suck. Like I know it was like the 60s, but I'm just... The fact that the people who carried the guns were poor doesn't change what the Confederate flag represents,

which was an attempt to get out, an attempt to overthrow the government, an attempt to fight against America. I totally get that. I've heard the argument as well. That's what it was. They just wanted to leave. I've heard the argument as well that

like tanks from Alabama or Georgia or Texas or wherever in World War II, as they were freeing concentration camps and such, they had the Confederate flag flying above their tank. Because in their heads, it was like, this is a Southern pride thing. Like, we're from the South, and we're over here doing our business. And so it's like i don't know i when i heard that it was kind of like oh i'd never really considered that part of it because you only think about slavery and way back then you don't think about people using it in like the you know world war one or world war two to show like yeah this is where we're from in the

u.s like just how that guy's flying the ohio flag above his tank or whatever we're from in the U.S. Like, just how that guy's flying the Ohio flag above his tank or whatever, we're flying the stars and bars. But do you really buy that, though? But I definitely see what you're saying. Like, if you see a Confederate flag on the back of someone's truck... Well, see, that's what I'm saying. Now it's on a truck. That's what I think.

Yeah, if it's on a truck, it's different, because, like, I see that now in modern days, like, yeah, that's kind of skeevy. Like, we all kind of know if he's got it on his truck you all know what that really means you know yeah it makes he's making a statement like i i i don't even really know what the state everyone is making a sound will rise again it's it's a it's a big mixture of thing it doesn't it doesn't mean once one thing at all some people yeah it means the south will rise again we're coming back you won't footbush no more to to some people,

it's a heritage thing. It has nothing to do with black people. To some people, yeah, it's a symbol of them that they are better than black people, I'm sure. But I just feel like you're just, not you, but I feel like what's done is you always take the lowest common denominator of that thing. You're like, ah, yeah, it means enslaving black people.

That's what it's for. But it was the Georgia state flag until 15 years ago. It was a lot of the state flags down here. It was incorporated into them in one way or another until 15 years ago. So anybody who fought in the Georgia National Guard, they fought for that flag. And anybody who protected the statehouse, they were standing under that flag, protecting the statehouse. It means a lot of things to a lot of people. Unfortunately, what it always

boils down to for some reason is the most offensive thing it means to a certain group of people and as far as like whether it's treason or rebellion like i didn't think of semantics at that point like like they wanted to secede so it wasn't like they were like we're gonna conquer all of north america i would think that think that to me sounds like a revolution. Although, I guess... We were treasonous against England. Yes, we were. We were definitely treasonous.

So it's really, if that's treason, then the South attempting to leave is definitely treason. Yeah, think about it this way, because there's only 100 years between the two. Our founding fathers, the guys that we place above everything else, they also committed treason, and it was partially for slavery too, right? But 100 years later, some guys did the same thing, and those are the monsters.

Yeah, well, I guess it's like a total example of history is written by the victor, right? Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Like, it's exactly that. Yeah, history is written by the victor right i was thinking like it's exactly that yeah history is written by the victor except in the case of the south where i feel like they get to keep following their confederate flags they get to claim it was about states rights as if yeah they're always like they're right now trying to south carolina is away they took down a confederate uh i don't know if it was a Confederate monument or a Civil War monument.

I have no idea. There was one here in St. Louis that they took down. And it was like... I remember seeing how much money it cost to take down a statue. And it was like, oh my god. What fucking statue removal company are you people hiring?

This is Joe's million dollar statue removal. It's like, you know what? I can't waste time with another call. It's not my money anyway. I got a tractor. I'll do it for half a million. Somebody call me. Get into statue removal.

I saw where a guy, I didn't see where it was, but he had ran over a Ten Commandments monument. I guess they came to some agreement somewhere, wherever this is, where they would privately fund a Ten Commandments monument and put that on state property, like the courthouse. And this thing is big. Imagine a podium that you would stand in front of at a press conference and then with a big tablet on top of that. This thing is five feet tall and two and a half, three feet wide. It's big and heavy. This guy films with his cell phone. He's in his car, he goes,

this is what freedom feels like. Wah! Bam! And hits the fucking thing and knocks it the fuck over and it shatters everywhere. That seems more like vandalism. You look at the picture of the guy in his mugshot, big beard, about 28, 29 years old.

He's like, he's smiling in the mugshot. How do you feel about Ten Commandments monuments on stage? Smash them down. I don't want fucking Sharia law tablets up there either. Don't fucking quote the Torah. None of that shit. Don't put any Buddhist fucking sayings up there. I don't want to hear from Sun Tzu. Nobody.

Totally agreed. Well, Sun Tzu wasn't religious. All right, Sun Tzu's okay. We learned something from him. He didn't try to trick us out of our souls or anything for money. Yeah, you're saying total upholding of separation of church and state, which I 100% agree with. I don't think you should be fucking around. My favorite thing whenever I'm talking about Islam and that it's a violent religion and it's a religion of violence, or at least it creates a system where that's inevitable. And people are always like, well, what about the Christians?

They did this and that. And look at all these Christian terrorists. I'm like, yeah, that's an awful religion too. And I also want to ban the Christians from coming into the United States. Only atheists should be able to come in. We'd have no problems then. Those people aren't up to no good. I thought about this the other day. They certainly don't do things in the name of God day you know how we could solve a ton of problems now it would be difficult to get the jewish people on

board because like israel is their state and after getting it so recently they won't want to leave but if we could somehow airlift jerusalem and israel and just kind of like tag it on the bottom of new jersey or something oh hell yeah suddenly we have tons uh way more jewish people in the country which is going to be great because very smart people are going to be the best people i've talked to a lot of jews they will they will take you wrong way like that's what we what we need and we solved the problem in the middle east there because all those surrounding countries that seem to have a little bit of an issue with the Jews, they will be further away. Yeah, but what do we do with all of the religiously significant items that are in Jerusalem that the Muslims...

Oh yeah, I think he's just grabbing the whole thing and leaving a hole behind. I'm pretty sure the Muslims would be happy if we take those things because they're just as significant to them as they are to the Jews and the Christians. Yeah, but they're not though because Judaism is way older. But it seems like Jewish people never get along with their neighbors.

Right? When throughout history has there been a concentration of Jewish people that weren't persecuted and attacked and had pissed off neighbors. In Germany, when there were lots

of Jewish people there, the other Germans didn't like them very much. How'd they do in Poland? How'd they do in Poland? I don't know. Tell me. That's what the concentration camps were. Not well. They didn't like it? We've talked about this before, but throughout history, there's a lot of reasons why the Jewish people have been persecuted, whether wrongly or rightly.

It goes back to usury and the making of interest on borrowed money. That was a no-no back in the day, and they were the ones who did it. It goes back to Shylocks. It goes back to things like the entertainment Industry of today and I had a Jewish co-worker who went to the Doctor and the guy He said something To me it was a code word but it wasn't that coded It was just like you know

Gollum or whatever the fuck he said And the guy's like yeah and he charged him a lower price Because he was Jewish You know a Gollum is I know what a Gollum is it's a Minecraft character They protect Jewish people or whatever. But the point was that they have a culture, a group that they exclude other people from and treat themselves more favorably, right? And that makes you unpopular with the people around you.

It should be a golem instead of a golem. That'd be funny. Yes, precious. At a cheaper price he'd be taking he'd be taking all their gold though they wouldn't like that a bit so just playing devil's advocate here but like it if we were to hypothetically have a concentration of jewish people in new jersey then i think at some point the rest of the country would be very upset at you know i don't know hyper aggressive business practices

they pull a John Rocker on you I mean if the problem they're having is hyper aggressive business practices then that's pretty ridiculous but like all the examples of them in history I mean like the Egyptian thing there's no actual evidence that ever happened like the Jewish people were never kept as slaves in Egypt

there's no evidence of that that's only in the Bible. I didn't build a pyramid the the Babylon thing I don't think there's any evidence whatsoever that they were ever held if there if There's one of those two between Egypt and Babylon that has evidence. It's Babylon, but even then I'm not sure Babylon was older. I want to hear like in Nazism Like they like they they just hated the Jews because they needed a scapegoat. You know, like, they just saw, who's the most successful 1% that we can get money from? That's not true now. Yes, they disliked the Jewish people because they said, these people are the people who are taking everything, and they're the successful ones, and they're rats.

You know, they always used animals to describe the Jews, to dehumanize them. It was part of their core. It was a cornerstone of their doctrine almost to pick them and gays and gypsies. There was definitely an undercurrent of hate of anti-Semitism, but Hitler had this thing post-World War I. He fought in World War I. He was in the trenches. He blamed the Jews for the poor terms of Germany's surrender after World War I. He was in the trenches. He blamed the Jews for the poor terms of Germany's surrender after World War I. And those terms were just brutal on Germany, just some serious sanctions

that drove the people into a real depression. And then he took advantage of that. And he said, hey, look, here's your scapegoat right here, like you said. But yeah, he had lots of reasons why he didn't like the Jews, right? There were those big Jewish communities where all of the shops were Jewish. And like Woody said, they do that thing where, you know, all the Jewish people pay one price and all the Gentiles pay another. Yeah, there's a, I've got, I can pop up some, five bullet points here. I can get into it pretty quickly.

Religious conflicts. Conflicts between Christianity and Judaism have existed for years, which partly helped create an atmosphere of anti-Semitism in Europe. Anti-Semitism in Vienna. Hitler spent part of his youth in Vienna, Austria, where anti-Semitism was very prevalent and highly advocated. He may have been influenced by these ideas. Jewish economic power.

This is Kyle was alluding to this. At the time when World War I broke out, a majority of financial institutions, banks, and large companies were controlled by Jewish people. Jewish economic power. This is Kyle was alluding to this. At the time when World War I broke out, a majority of financial institutions, banks, and large companies were controlled by Jewish people. Hitler blamed the loss of the war, the economic downfall of Germany, and bad decisions of the Weimar Republic on Jewish capitalism. Conspiracy theory. Hitler believed the Jewish had some conspiracy to control the world.

Biological differences. Hitler and the Nazis believed the superiority of the Aryan race and the Jews were inferior, yada, yada, yada. So those were five reasons they disliked Jews. But I don't know, like, there are some communities where, like, you know, they help their own. And that's the thing that Jewish people do that, like, say, regular white people don't do, And that's a thing that Jewish people do that, like, say, regular white people don't do because it would be horrible and evil. Right. But, you know, other people support them, support their own kind. And and that leads to frustration amongst their neighbors. And I swear it's been like that for 100 years.

I still think my airdrop idea is is a good one. Yeah. Where you just put it, you just... Put it right there in Manhattan, right? First of all, we don't have to keep sending billions and billions and billions of dollars to... Or actually, even if we did have a giant helicopter that could airlift all of Israel over here, we still wouldn't do it because then we wouldn't have any foothold in the Middle East at all. So even if we could do that and magically teleport it for free into a safe area and they didn't lose any homes, the U.S. would still say no. I didn't consider it.

We'd put an aircraft carrier where Israel used to be because it'd just be a water filled with hole now. Yes. A hole filled with water. Yeah. I don't know if I can find oil down there. Did you guys see this article i just linked don't put glitter in your pussy there's a new trend with

ladies and to be fair the kind of trend that like my grandma warns me about where like she'll text me and be like i saw on the tv that they're doing something called bath salts now taylor and i need you to promise me that you're not going to try them, okay? I'm like, Grandma, no, I'm not going to do bath salts. I'm just making sure you know it's dangerous and it's out there. And it's like that kind of thing. I don't think there are that many women putting sparkler pills in there because it is a pill. It's like a pill that you put up in your hoo-ha, and then I guess it dissolves kind of like an Advil quick release. your hoo-ha, and then I guess it dissolves kind of like an Advil, you know,

quick release, and then you've got a ton of confetti, essentially, in your vagina that's supposed to make it taste better and smell better. But in reality, it turns out that putting lots of foreign tiny little objects up in an area that has a very delicate pH balance, just like a

pool, just creates a lot of little irritations in there and can give you uh can give you stds and the like more yeah you want to go to pretty woman incorporated.com here's a link to where you get the passion dust um that's what it's called this passion dust yeah i don't i wouldn't appreciate pulling my dick out and being like oh great I guess this is my look for the next week, because this is glitter. Passion dust is a sparkly capsule that is inserted into the vagina at least one hour prior to having sexual intercourse. As the capsules, as it becomes increasingly warmed and moistened by the natural vaginal

fluids, it will begin to dissolve, releasing the sparkling, candy-flavored passion dust inside of the capsule this seems like you have like a surefire way to get a urinary tract infection i always just dump a box of nerds in there myself pop rocks for me christ almighty you ever try to slide a king-size snickers in there obviously yes um what was that coming back out but i was wrong they said that um You ever try to slide a king-size Snickers in there? Obviously, yes. I thought it was coming back out, but I was wrong. They said that the glitter can migrate up to the cervix and cause problems there. Of course it can. Yeah, and you're like, yeah, I guess that's what would happen, right?

I'm not really a vaginal expert, but all roads lead to Rome, sort of. You know, it's where they go. So maybe the glitter would work its way to the cervix just like sperm does, and you got a problem. Yeah, it just seems like this is a non-starter of an idea. Like, all right, hear me out. Put a small pill full of glitter in your vagina. It's a penny for a sample. It's a penny for one sample. I see that here.

The scale keeps going up, how much pussy glitter you want. But if you just want one capsule, it's one penny. You should get one, Kyle, and then just suck on it. We should all take one before the show. It tastes like pussy. What if they taste good, though,

and I'm just like always just like. It said it's candy. Like I'm just eating pussy candy all the time. That's my new addiction. And I'm just popping them every time I smile. Every time we see Kyle, he's got like a grill. A bedazzled mouth. Well, that's pretty cool. Like I've definitely heard of bedazzling, you know, when you bedazzle a pussy.

And I've seen that, you know, you're gluing rhinestones down there. And that's actually pretty cool. I've seen it in person, and it doesn't seem like some... I mean, if I saw it in person, I'd be like, all right, well, you know, to each their own. It's not going to stop me. But... How is it supposed to? I mean, like, that, to me, is me is not like big lips for you

It wouldn't make me go Bob harumph. No not for me I prefer you know small little dainty lips with no sparkles whatsoever like I still I still forge ahead But it would it would make me register in my mind like this is this is not the future mother of my children Like this is you know you'd have that thought process my children like this is you know you'd have that thought process as your first child comes out you notice just like a dash of of sparkles on their head like oh god how old is that oh it's pink that was last year well your son has blue eyes and pink eyes and orange eyes and yellow eyes and green eyes. And he's blind.

I don't know. Sorry. Your son's blind. But he's got a... Oh, never mind. A fitness round table? A lightning round, I mean to say? Sure.

I got my pecan pie in the mail today, though. And it was fucking ruined. They sent the pie crust in a box that wasn't... Pie crust? So I look in the box, I go, open it up, and the pie crust has been crushed. And I swear to God, I'm not exaggerating.

There wasn't even a crumb of pie crust still in the metal pan. It was all ground up and in the bottom of the box with the pecan pie filling. It's all powdered now. I took a picture, and I was like, ah, we'll get this taken care of, this $12 pie crust. And then I opened the next Amazon box, which was like drain cleaner, also spilled out and leaking everywhere in there. And it's like super caustic. So now we're putting on gloves, like dealing with the spill.

What is the breakfast restaurant? I think it starts with P. It's not Panera. It's. IHOP. Nope. Waffle House. I know my letters.

I'm just trying to maybe spur a thought. Shucks. They make amazing pies. Shoney says pies. I'm surprised that you're surprised that a pie by mail not working out is surprising to you. Just to be clear, it says

it's a pecan pie in a jar. You look in the jar and it's all that brown, sugary goo, like pecans all in pecan pie in a jar. So, like, you look in the jar, and it's all that, like, brown sugary goo. Oh. Like, pecans all in there, and it looks fucking delicious. So you just pour that into the pie crust and, like, bake that shit, and you've got a pecan pie. And I like pecan pie. Okay.

And so your fitness is going well, then? I earned a pecan pie. I dropped below 170 the other day. I weighed myself this morning. I was, like, 171. So, like, I'm just – I can afford a pecan. Well, that's good. You're down.

Are you – where are you going from here? Are you going on another milk gain? Are you going to – I'm going to keep working out. I don't know that I'm going to keep working out as much as I am, but I'm going to definitely keep working out a couple days a week, three days a week or something because I have better cardio right now. And I had to get up this morning and like deal with uh we're getting the yard cut and make a long story short i had to jog at one point i did a couple laps around the

house to like get things in order and i was like oh i'm not out of breath a bit all right this is this is a major improvement it was the first first time that I'd done usable physical work, and I had noticed that I was able to do it easier. I mean, lifting weights is one thing, but I'm in better shape. I like it. That's good. Good for you. I didn't weigh in today, but the last four days in a row I was 202,

so I'll assume that's my weight. I crushed it on the kettlebells yesterday. More weight, more reps than I've ever done before, more push-ups. And I just – it was funny because at the time I'm like, yeah, I'm really killing it. And then afterwards it was like, I am sore in a new way. I might have just tried harder. I might not actually be stronger. I feel my pecs and tris and delts distinctly.

And normally, I don't know. I don't go that hard at it, I guess. So I'm like, I'm not sure if that's good or bad. I guess we'll see how I do tomorrow. Good for you. That's always the best workout when you finish it and you're like, oh, man. I didn't know those muscles were there. And you're in areas hurt that you didn't know.

I figured because I hurt my thumb. We talked about that on pkn actually but i wasn't able to i haven't been able to work out this week i hope i'm able to next week i'm not 100 sure because it's still you know it'll take a while to heal and the last thing i want to do is like go for that first like kettlebell thing next monday and be like i'm good to go and then just tear it open again and be like oh well i'm set back another three weeks but i figured in the meantime because I'm hamstrung on the working out part, I can really go with a cutting regimen, like try and cut some fat. So I'm not wasting time. And so I'm really cutting down my diet. I'm not drinking nearly as much protein shakes

or anything for the next few days or the next week or two. I'm really just trying to go into a cutting mode. I don't know if that's the best thing to do at all. You know, I just I don't I don't want to I don't want to waste time with it. It's it's getting getting better. There's Vaseline on it, so it looks wet. But yeah, I went I went to the doctor because I was like, oh, I should I should probably make sure my thumb's not infected.

And I got there, paid my copay to have this lady look at it for 45 seconds and be like, oh, no signs of infection. But are you taking too much care of this? Because it looks like your skin has just been in a pool for a while. I'm like, yeah, I've been trying to keep it moist. And she's like, yeah, that's too much. Far too much. So don't wrap it anymore and just put Vaseline on it. And so that's what I've been doing for the last day and it's actually closing up faster now.

But I don't know, it's just really fucking annoying because the reason... How did you cut it again? You pinched it? Ceramic knife. Ceramic knife. I was drying some knives and I was drying it and I ran my finger across it real bad and it was one of those things i went like and then just kind of like immediately went to work i grabbed some

paper towels i walked into uh walked into the i had someone over at the time we were about to eat and i gashed at the worst possible time and i walked into the bathroom and was like all right supplies supplies because i was like if all right, supplies, supplies. Because I was like, if I let myself look down at how much I'm bleeding right now, I'm not going to be happy with it. So I was just kind of like looking down like, all right. And, oh, Neosporin. This is old, but it's good enough. All right, do I have any bandages?

Of course not, you're a 26-year-old man. I have hockey tape and bounty towels. tape and bounty towels and so i wrapped my hand in a neosporin soaked paper towel and then used hockey tape to tape it up and okay good then i went to bed that night and was like the black friction tape yeah yeah black friction tape and i re i was like i'll revisit this in the morning i wake up and the my expert bandage has fallen off and it's just laying in the bed with me. Surprise, surprise. And my pillow has so much blood on it because I clearly just moved my hand up there and just let it bleed for a long time throughout the night. And I woke up, took it off, and was almost aghast at like, oh, fuck.

This is a bad, bad cut like i might need to go to the doctor and then i was like no don't go to the doctor because you're gonna end up wasting money just give it a couple days you'll be fine and then i ended up just giving up on that i didn't do shit for the fourth because i'm like well if i go out i'm gonna end up drinking and if i'm drinking that's horrible for healing so i don't want to anything. I'd rather just get a lot of sleep and let it heal. But this is the first time in my life that I've not worked out because of an actual injury. Every other time in my life where I've wanted to work out or stay active, it's always eventually come down to like, ah, fuck that. That's hard.

I'm done with it. This is the first time ever that I got an injury and I'm like, oh shit, I'm going to miss my workout. And I kind of like, in my head, I was like, oh, that means you like doing this for real now. You're not pretending anymore. And so that in and of itself was kind of a boost. But maybe I'm just looking

for an upside. I had two non-scale victories. One is this shirt. I got this shirt last year. It has paramotors on it. So there are tens of people who think this is cool and it didn't fit. I was too fat. I was too fat when I got it. And I was way too fat, you know, when I started my diet and it just, it would fit in a really unflattering way. Now it's actually loose-ish. Like I totally fit in this shirt. No problem. And the other, I do these paramotor videos like one a week and uh most i have a camera on my head so you don't see me people hadn't seen me for a while

and i got a lot of compliments they finally like i showed myself and they're like damn woody like you're looking way like how much have you like people can see it uh because they only see your upper body i can absolutely tell in your face you've lost quite a bit of weight like it's obvious that's um that's a thing too so uh on the pka subreddit somebody was like they showed up oh i guess the wings talk came up or something a week or two ago so they showed me then oh it was we we talked about the 1v1 and uh and they're like woody's head is way bigger now and i'm thinking to myself that's actually not true now it became true you know because i got to myself, that's actually not true. Now it became true, you know, cause I got fuller in the face. That's not current. Yeah. But they're out of date. Like your, your mental image of me hasn't updated because, uh, my face is thinner than it used to be.

So anyway, uh, that's it. We'll get off of weight loss. You don't weigh 500 pounds. There are, um, there are a group of people who are following along. Like I'm getting private messages and stuff like that. And the fact that we're doing a fitness thing has actually, like a lot of other people have too. So many people inspired by it. I love it. I never thought that would happen. I thought there would be a few stragglers who are like, yeah, I'll get on board with this.

But it's really cool. I play Battlegrounds with a bunch of people. And I try to mix in a lot of fans. So I probably play with like 20, 30 people a week. It seems like every other day, one of you is like, yeah, yeah, I'm on board too. Sometimes it's like,

ah, I lost seven pounds, and now I look excellent. I've had those guys who were like, yeah, I got a little lazy, but I'm back in shape now. Then there's guys who are like, I've lost 45 look okay i'm still a piece of shit 35 more to go and i'm like wow fuck at this rate you got it you know

you're you're only a couple months in you've lost 30 40 pounds a lot of them are like that that's really cool to see you guys doing that uh and like following along with this and i've lost 18 i feel good about it i because i feel like what we've done here has definitely made at least a few of you live longer, happier, healthier lives. And you're getting laid more. Our listeners are better listeners. That's the entire point. That's our mission statement.

Don't for a second think this is about health. This is about pussy and getting older. And vanity. I want to be able to take my shirt off at the pool and be like, boom, I look better than 90% of these fucks. And then there's always like the 10% where it's like, well, you don't be a dick. I'm never getting there.

You know, like you're in just fantastic shape. I don't even know where my limit is. I'll swim in the deep end when you're in the shallow end. I look at... I see myself in the mirror. This happened today because I'm not there yet. I don't pretend that I'm ready to do some sort of victory end. I see myself in the mirror. This happened today because I'm not there yet. I don't pretend that I'm ready to do some sort of victory celebration. I saw myself in the mirror.

I just came out of the shower and I was naked. I was like, you know what? There is an emerging sexy Woody in there. I'm not claiming you are, but there it is. Then I put on my underwear with an elastic waistband around my love handles and I thought, you should keep going.

That is the biggest morale ruiner is when you're my underwear with like an elastic waistband around my love handles. And I thought you should keep going. That is the biggest morale ruiner is when you're standing naked after a shower or before a shower in your mirror. And you're like, man, look at this guy. Where was this guy the whole time? And then you like still looking in the mirror, put on like some,

like I like boxer briefs, like those compression, like stay cool underwear, whatever the fuck you do. And immediately it just cinches into the bit of fat around your waist. And you're like, Oh, Oh, where'd Taylor go? Who's this asshole? Women's underwear has gone through 200 years of progress to make it more flattering, right? The reason it's V'd up around their hips, the whole cut, everything about it is to make women's bodies look better. Men, on the

other hand, have just frozen with elastic around the love handles since the beginning of time. Men's bathing suits, too. That's the way it should be. That's not true. There are a few options. I've seen that one mankini thing that only has one strap, right? Like you've got a pouch

that goes over your junk, and then a strap that comes up and goes over your hip, around your back, through your ass crack, and it connects back to the pouch. It's just one strap. Around one side. Yeah, on one side. How are these people that confident that they're not just gonna

fall out of that underwear? Well, it's so revealing already that I think if you're wearing that underwear in front of people and a ball falls out, nobody's gonna... I'd rather be naked than wear that ass-hugging one-strap thing. Because, like, if I'm naked, they're like, hey, what are you doing naked? This isn't a nude beach. I'm like, oh, I lost it in the surf, you know, shark or, like, something.

But if I'm wearing that, there's no excuse. They go, hey, you fucking weirdo. Like, what the hell is this? Is it a rat thing that comes up over your shoulders? That might be more flattering than boxers with an elastic waistband is a terrible look. Because women are Lamborghinis.

You know, they want, they need the features, the spoiler. They have a spoiler because they need it. Because they're amping up that look. Men, you're like Woody's Tacoma. Your job is to carry things and to do things. And in some ways, your attractiveness to a woman may very well be contingent on that usefulness, which is why women are attracted to men in uniform.

Like that kind of connection. Handyman. Things like that. They don't want some guy who's like, oh, my God, like a leaky faucet. Like I'm going to throw a big tantrum until somebody else comes and fixes it. Like they want someone who can go in there and be like, I'm going to give a little lefty-loosey-righty-tighty and bada-bing, bada-boom, we're done. That's just the way it is.

It doesn't have to do with underwear. So, yeah. At some point, the object is elastic waistband around the love handles. If we're not, still look good. That's where we aspire to be. Yeah. That's one of those benchmarks, and we're not still look good that that's that's where we aspire to be yeah but that's one of those benchmarks and i have not hit that one yet tight underwear shows you where you are in the world it humbles like you said i shouldn't celebrate i go back and forth because sometimes i'm like oh my god 12 to go is so much you haven't done shit but 18 down

like if a 500 pound man said they lost 18 pounds i would say you've clearly done something right you know that's a that's a thing so are you like you like lost a hand in an industrial accident that would be the not good way to lose it that's like the um what is it seven that movie where they make the attorney that pound of flesh five pounds of flesh or one pound of flesh whatever it is that movie was crazy oh how far are we from game of thrones are we a week out for 10 days yeah man 16th i think i think it's 10 days that's yeah i'm excited about that oh fired up because let me tell you what's gonna happen uh not not what's actually gonna happen but but the the deal with these short seasons i think

i think there's gonna be no more character development we're not gonna meet any more new fucking characters that we gotta like watch children play in a backyard with their father and then the father gets killed and now we followed the child on his horse somewhere like no more of that like i feel like it's down to nitty-gritty nuts and bolts time and like like episode one there's gonna be like three white walkers standing there and they're gonna be like and then the wall's gonna explode immediately and like i feel like this thing is really gonna progress along and get done so you think so one of my one of the ways in which i evaluate an episode is did something happen if I can catch you up on

what happened this episode in less than a minute and a half or so, that was a shitty episode. Arya swept up blind for like six weeks or something. It's hard to tell. That's about it. I need there to be so many events

that it's like, oh yeah, let me take stock of everything that happened in this if the rest of the episodes are like that i'd be totally excited the battle of the bastards episode it it feels so long you know the big battle for for winterfell uh winter uh oh yeah yeah with uh the it does feel wrong yeah yeah if i remember correctly i think it might even begin with that pre-battle thing where you've got the little girl from the Mormont girl, and she's like, giving

him the bitch face or whatever, you know, on her horse, and Jon Snow's like, what will your men think when they hear you wouldn't fight for them? And he's like, I've heard stories about you. I heard you're the greatest sword ever born, they say, if I'm to believe them. And, you know, they have that whole standoff thing before the fight.

About Jon Snow? Well, Jon Snow's talking to Ramsay. Jon Snow, their two groups are meeting. And Jon Snow's saying, we can settle this right here and now, Ramsay. Why don't you just hop down and we'll settle this between the two of us. And he's like, nah, I don't think so.

I got a lot more men. We got a castle and shit. And they say, you're a fucking badass. No, I don't think so. I got a lot more men. We got a castle and shit. And they say you're a fucking badass. No, I won't do that. Yeah. I thought Ramsey a lot because so many villains would have been goaded into that. They'd have been, oh, you want it? All right, you want me to throw it out?

Watch this, boys. Yeah, or if not goaded into it, you know, it felt like they had to maintain some sort of honor, you know, don't want to back down from a challenge, even though they know that they're not the favorite them, do it. It felt like they had to maintain some sort of honor, don't want to back down from a challenge, even though they know that they're not the favorite. Not Ramsay. Ramsay's like, no, I'm not the favorite. I will do the thing in which I am the favorite.

Yeah, I think that's what he says. He's like, we could do it your way, and I would lose. No, no, no, that's what Robb Stark says way back in fucking season one when Jaime Lannister says to him, he's like, hey, we could settle this right here and now, Robb. And he's like, hey, we could settle this right here and now, Rob. And he's like, yeah, we could do it your way, and I would die, but we're going to do it my way, and I'm going to win.

It's like, yeah, this is good. These are smart characters. I think that's what I like so much about Game of Thrones is for all the fantasy and the dragons and stuff, there's a lot of real motivation. It's like real, believable dialogue. It's like like there's a lot of real it's like a real believable dialogue it's not like some parts of house of cards where he's like you know mr vice president it would be much better for your career if you were to resign and give me the office and

then the vice president's like well i don't know it doesn't seem it doesn't seem like that would be a good career path for me if i went back down to the governor after being the vice president. It's like, oh, I think you're sorely mistaken, Mr. Vice President. They respect you in Pennsylvania. We need someone to whip for us there. Oh, I suppose if you put it that way, I'll file the resignation paper. And it's like, what? No, nobody would do that.

No vice president is going to be like, yeah, the governor sounds great. The party needs you. Yeah, the party needs you. And you're a politician. So I know you take that seriously and now I'm becoming far-going leghorn But your point Game of thrones you're correct it feels believable like it's rare that i feel like a character just gets straight up bamboozled by an unbelievable ruse you know yeah i'm really looking forward to it i couldn't be more pumped uh i think what i will do i clearly not time to watch the whole thing but i'm definitely going to watch the the most recent season and what i always do when i do that is like i'll probably watch like it's season six that's about to premiere is that correct

season seven okay so season seven's about to start so i'll watch all of season six and like the season five season finale right so like that'll give me in 11 episodes like a ton of great great content i'll get to re rewatch the Battle of the Bastards. I don't think I've rewatched season five at all, or season six at all, like the most recent season. I only watch those episodes once each, I think. I think I might do the same. I was like, I'm going to start over from whatever,

season three or four. I'm not getting that far. I should just skip to six. That's the part I don't know as well. Yeah, I've rewatched one, 2, and 3 so many times. Because the finales are so good. I don't even remember what happened in the season 5 finale, but it might be the episode where Daenerys' dragons fucking come and burn everything.

But I'm real foggy at this point. It's been a... But, yeah, I'm really looking forward to that. Yeah, me too, man. Good. That's good stuff. I've got one more topic. I don't know if you want to cover that or wrap the show

What's your topic? It is about British soldiers And bravery stuff They're pretty badass Did an SAS soldier drown an ISIS member In a puddle? That's part of it There's more to it

It's pretty good It's a good note to end on Let's do that Alright so here's the story It's pretty good. It's a good note to end on. Let's do that. All right. So here's the story. It's from The Sun. After the fearless special forces fighters ran out of bullets,

they decided to go out fighting, in quotes, and use their knives and bare hands to kill as many brainwashed extremists as possible. This is the British SBS fighting ISIS. In an extraordinary survival story, another Brit soldier killed three militant thugs using his rifle as a club. Killed three people with no bullets. The heroic members of the Royal Navy's special boat service were convinced they were going to die after being outnumbered and encircled after being ambushed by around 50 ISIS fighters near Mosul. After killing at least 20 of the terrorists, the elite group realized they had about 10 bullets left between them and they were

trapped in a small riverbed. And faced with the prospect of being of the terrorists, the elite group realized they had about 10 bullets left between them, and they were trapped in a small riverbed. And faced with the prospect of being captured and tortured, the men opted for a soldier's death, then decided to fight like crazed warriors and kill as many of the extremists as possible. Speaking with the star, the source said, They knew that if they were captured, they would be tortured and decapitated. Rather than die on their knees, they went for a soldier's death and charged the IS fighters who were moving along the riverbed. They were screaming and swearing as they said about the terrorist. The Brits shook hands, said goodbye, convinced they were going to die, while charging the remaining 30 ISIS thugs.

They ran towards the depraved militants while firing off the remaining bullets before stabbing and slashing the death cult members. One man, SBS warrant officer, Wow. rifle as a club after five minutes of hand-to-hand combat 12 isis fanatics were dead or severely injured while the rest cowardly jihadists fled in fear miraculously every one of the brits survived despite all the proud men surviving sustaining injuries at least two of the brains brave fighters received gunshot wounds they eventually walked five miles before hitchhiking a ride back to the sas base all but two of them returned to combat in a matter of days. That's really intense. That couldn't have been

the ISIS A-Team. That was the ISIS youth. No, that was JV. I imagine 13-year-old ISIS. They had guns. They were shooting at the SS BS guys as they were charging him two of them got shot and they I mean pretty

intense yeah back to those guys I I know they don't bring a knife to a gunfight but they brought rocks and shit do a gunfight and still one it's pretty yeah I don't think they brought rocks they just found them during where I didn't he didn't bring a puddle he just he upended his own canteen because where's this fucking water in the Middle East if I'm the river me oh yeah it happened in a riverbed yeah so I don't know I did I read that and I'm like that doesn't get more but that's black hawk down shit. The Hollywood version of Black Hawk Down. You know what's a little weird?

Is this top part of my thumb? I think I have nerve damage because I just can't feel it. Oh. Like right up on there. It's very numb and weird. Is it the same strength do you think? Should be, yeah. That's what the doctor said they said it may

take a bit but it should have some war again as long as my like grip strength is fine which is yeah that's how I change if you had if you had some you know really good nerve damage it'd be more than just the surface like you would have a hard time controlling your thumb that would oh no like I can I shouldn't bend it right now because it's healing, but I can. You seem to have the same dexterity. That's good. You're fine.

I'll be fine. Yeah. It's just a flesh wound. Big thanks to all of our sponsors tonight. Smart Mouth, Lyft, Movement Watches, and of course,

on Taylor's behalf, thank you to Wings of Redemption for all that he has and all that he ever will have. Of course. And the hat. redemption for all that he has and all that he ever will have of course and hats.painkiller.net link in the description uh but mostly just thank you to wings um we appreciate your sacrifice it's photoshopped onto my head it looks like one of those bad fucking memes that our fans make sometimes, and it's Photoshopped onto my head. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a good show. All right. PKA, episode 342.