Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #343

Episode Date: July 21, 2017

This week on PKA, Barnacules is back! The guys talk about the man spearing a bear to death, Game of Thrones predictions before the new season dropped and the mayhem of the McGregor vs Mayweather press tour!

And we're live, PKA episode 343 with our guest Barnacles. Kyle? Yeah, a couple sponsors tonight, Casper Mattresses, MeUndies. We're going to talk about those PKA hats again. I think Chiz made like 50 additional ones. The first hundred sold out really fast. And I think there's a podcast I'm going to tell you about at the very end of the show. So stay tuned.

Yeah, let's get to it. Do I get a hat for being on here? Do I get the hat? Where's my hat? You get a hat. We'll send you a hat. All right. Rock on. Rock on. We a hat. We'll send you a hat. Alright, rock on.

We wouldn't have had to send you one, but you said it so early in the show, Chiz is going to have to get on it. If this was a three hour and 15 minute request, zero percent chance it would have been followed through. I'll give you the four hours. The kickoff of the show was shaming us. I guess, hell, now you get a hat. Right before the show started, I got a kick out of it

because Jerry is obviously so tech savvy that he gets everything set up. He's like, oh, I should probably change my microphone. Are you getting any feedback there? Can you confirm that's correct? And I wanted us to go with like, yeah, we'll just check our PKA proprietary software and make sure everything's looking good. Can we check? Can we check?

We're used to people coming on and being like hey am I am I good? Levels you just yell louder right why the fuck do you have vertical video? Oh? Oh I could fix that Yeah, ah all right, uh oh do you want to kick off with the connor thing kyle i know it was fucking awesome so the mayweather fight is a hundred percent happening of course the the promotional tour has begun begun they kicked off in los angeles it was very shitty this thing is put on by showtime and by the boxing promoting side of this thing they cut mcgregor's microphone off that he couldn't really rebut uh mayweather. Mayweather was actually saying some misleading stuff like, I'll fight in an octagon.

I'll fight with three-ounce gloves or four-ounce gloves or 20-ounce gloves. I don't care. And Conor's like, no, you fucking won't. It's been five months ordering. No Mexican gloves. No heavy gloves. No soft gloves. No horsehair gloves or something?

There were things about gloves i didn't even know hold on i'm completely ignorant of what's going on here like what what is this let me do a background an mma fighter that's exactly it so conor mcgregor you probably heard his name before most popular mma fighter perhaps ever and then you have floyd mayweather not the most popular but the most successful boxer of our of the modern age anyway and connor is going into the boxing ring to fight the boxer in boxing and it's particularly entertaining and we're going to see what happens a lot of the pros think that the boxer is going to crush him because he's better at boxing right the boxer wins at boxing the mma guy wins at mma hypothetically yeah one thing that's

fun about this they're doing the press tour now. Everybody agrees Connor can kick Mayweather's ass. That is not in question. The question is who's going to win a boxing match. But when Connor says, I'll kick your ass all over the stage, it's like, oh right. Yeah, he would. Connor

can beat up Mayweather about as easily as he could beat up me. Lopsided. Lopsided. Mayweather has no takedown defense. He is less than a white belt at Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. He can't defend a kick. Conor's got crazy, real question mark bullshit kicks that people

don't see. And he says it to him on a regular basis. He's like, you ever bounce a shinbone off a nose bone? You ever dig your elbow into a man's temple? It's a very fun feeling. And he's just like, and Floyd's over there like, he's gotta be thinking like, nah, I ain't ever

done any of that shit. It sounds awful, though. I punch people with these big pillow gloves. He shoots from the shoulder. I'm not gonna remember any of my insults and I can't read the prompter. It sounds to me like Connor, actually, the only way he could lose this is if he can't restrain himself within the rules of boxing.

That seems like that could be a real problem for him. If he does restrain himself within the rules of boxing, he could lose that too, because this is the best boxer ever. And he has to consciously think about, I cannot kick this guy in the bridge of the nose. I cannot kick this guy in the bridge of the nose. That's going to throw him. That's one big problem I have with the fight

and how they... I'm between Jerryody and kyle's level of knowledge leaning towards jerry's level but what i didn't like about it is i wish that because they obviously had a long negotiation of like we'll fight like this no no no i'm not fighting like that i'm not gonna be made an ass in my own place or like whatever the fuck you'd say and so I Wish more than anything that he had negotiated for one singular kick At any time throughout the fight and it's only one he takes a kick and he misses That's it sucks to suck you missed your one kick imagine how much better the paper would God mayweather verse McGregor with a funny kick could change

Make the kick for the first four rounds right he could have this guy watch Do that right there's no rule in boxing that says you can't like twitch your legs and lift your leg off the ground right I Mean as long as you don't connect with them, so he could just he could just fuck with the guy the whole time Yeah, you know now that you mentioned that that's funny that you said that. I never considered that. He's gonna, right? When he's gonna get in that boxing ring and he's gonna start doing some flips, he's gonna start doing cartwheels in there.

There's no rules. There's no rules saying he can't do this. The UFC warmup is completely different from the boxing warmup. They get in there, maybe jog around a couple times, a little bit like do-do-do-do-do, get warmed up a bit,

maybe a little shadow boxing. In MMA, they do backflips and cartwheels and show off their athleticism it he's going to be in there doing crazy shit that's why this is so interesting right because all of the best boxers in the world have been thrown at floyd mayweather over the years and he beat all of them up real bad right like he won all of those fights um so but but there's a couple of things that have changed in the last couple years every year after 35 has to be a double or triple year, right?

Any second now, you could lose whatever that edge he has. When I look at it, it's like, alright, he's 40 years old. Conor's in his prime. Absolutely in his prime. Conor is bigger, stronger, and faster. All Floyd Mayweather has is he's much better at what

they're fucking doing. Right? Like, that's it. That's a good thing to have, though. Next to each other where they showed the two. There's a GIF out there where it shows Mayweather's training routine and McGregor's and how fast they're boxing. And it's honestly like Mayweather looks like a blur. It looks like somebody sped his GIF up, his training routine, by like 300%. And McGregor, by comparison, you're like, oh, man,

I could probably hit that fast. Weren't they hitting different bags, though? Two. I think they were hitting different bags. They were hitting different bags. And then you could see the head movement. McGregor was going slow and dipping around. And Mayweather had that thing bouncing mathematically.

You knew the geometry of where it was going to come back. Yeah, yeah. Mayweather's doing the thing where there's like a ball suspended between two elastic cords and yeah well not a speed bag it's a ball suspended by two elastic cords one from the ceiling and one from the floor so it's stuck right here and it's coming back at you okay back and forth really bouncy and that's made for like for showing off his speed and i think connor was sitting a heavy bag i didn't see the mayweather thing, but I think those are an accuracy drill. I think the idea is

if you've never done any boxing before, it's curiously hard to hit your target. If you've never done boxing before, it's curiously hard to hit your target. I've said this before. You might think an undefeated record of passing the salt at dinner means you have good hand-eye coordination. I don't know why

it's so hard to hit someone. Every time I reach, I touch what I'm going for. Why would that not be that way in fighting? Because the salt at dinner means you have good hand-eye coordination. Like, I don't know why it's so hard to hit someone. Every time I reach, I touch what I'm going for. Why would that not be that way in fighting? Because the salt's not trying to escape. Yeah. Well, when I was a teenager, I used to do boxing on the Puget Sound Naval Shipyard Base in Bremerton. I'd just go in there, and they'd just put me in all the gear, and I would just spar with the Navy boys.

And one thing that they always said is when you're boxing, the skill is to track the weight of the person you're fighting. See how they're moving their feet, see their footwear, watch their rhythm. And it's all about timing. He's going up against an MMA guy that doesn't really do boxing. Right. So it's like it seems like his timing is going to be completely off and completely different than fighting another boxer. So I wonder if that's going to completely blow his mind.

Like he's going to be like, shit, I can't figure out what this guy's doing because he's moving around like a spider monkey. Some guys are saying like some in MMA. I know much more about mma than boxing if you have a really good strider guy guy who's technically sound who might even exist in the boxing world and then he goes up against a unconventional like weirdly trained guy sometimes that technically yeah sound guys boxing doesn't work like you'd expect you know because the other guy's not moving like you like it's throwing him off yeah throwing him off i think that would work if Mayweather was an aggressive guy who needed to come in and take somebody apart.

But he's not. He's a defensive guy. He's the Anderson Silva of boxing, right? He's throwing all those feints and stuff. He's like, oh, I saw you move there. I could have hit you right there if I wanted to. We'll come back to this in 45 seconds. Who do you think could take the better beating between the two of them? Who do you think could take the better beating between the two of them?

McGregor could take the better beating. You think so? Because that's the problem, too. I wanted to make some predictions about the fight, and here's how I think it's going to play out. Here's my expert opinion. McGregor is going to win some rounds, plural. I think he wins at least two rounds. I think they're going to come early.

I think McGregor is going to come out and try to knock this guy out because like he has a punchers chance in my expert Opinion I think that that straight left is really all he has in the boxing world and he's got to make it land and that Means putting a lot of pressure on Floyd It means tying Floyd up and trying to lay on Floyd and wave Floyd down and drag him into deep water Maybe too, but I think at the end it goes the distance. And on the outside chance, it just seems very unlikely that Floyd knocks Connor out. I don't see that happening. He might beat Connor up a little.

He might make him bruised up and cut. But he won't knock him out. I don't think he has the power to in my expert opinion. But I do think that Connor has the power to knock Floyd out. But I don't think Connor can hit him. So I think it goes the distance. uh floyd wins a unanimous decision and uh and connor still comes out as a winner because he went the distance a la rocky balboa and he made 100 million dollars you were saying that you think that uh mcgregor can take the

bigger beating like do you like do you draw any difference between the beating you're taking in MMA where it's like a spread around the body beating and the kind of beating that Mayweather is taking where maybe Mayweather can take more head shots? Or maybe he can take way less head shots because he's old. So 10-ounce gloves are traditionally used if the fighters are 160 pounds or heavier. These guys are fighting at 156 pounds, I believe. It's some weird little fractional weight that I'm sure they argued over to the ounce.

So they're using bigger, slightly bigger than gloves than they normally would. There's a huge difference between a 10-ounce smooshy glove and those 4-ounce fucking head knockers the UFC uses. Those things are about protecting your hands, not people's faces. Like, that's not what's going on there. Boxing gloves, they call it, and there's a lot to be said about the kind of brain injuries that are incurred in boxing versus MMA. Boxing, you might get 15 fucking concussions in one fight, right? Boom, boom, boom, boom. And they'll count to 10 while you're crawling on the floor and then stand you back up and be like, are you sure?

And you're like, I guess so. That's the craziest thing ever if you think about it. They're asking a man who is clearly just not stupid if he thinks in his expert medical opinion he's good to go. Of course he's fucking not. And they stand him up over and over and drag him. And the unspoken question

is, do you want to proceed or are you a pussy? In front of a bunch of people, right? In front of a bunch of people. In MMA, you have so many other ways to lose, first of all. Can I interrupt? Our power has gone in and out like six times. I just saw that. Did you? Yeah, this computer

is on a battery backup, and... Yeah. I'm such an idiot that when I saw your power go off, I was like, oh, maybe the electricity came back so fast it just filled back up the tubes. And then kept it going. That's sharp. Yeah, I really hope that McGregor wins.

In UFC, the concussions, though, in the UFC, you get cracked once usually, right? And then the guy falls on you with a couple hammer fists and the ref throws him off of you and that's game over. I'm not saying that any concussion is good for you. That's super common, yeah. And any concussion is bad for your goddamn brain. You're talking about hitting your computer so hard it stops working, right? Like, if you did that to your desktop

15 times, you'd really expect some hardware failure after a while. But I just think that boxing is much worse for the athlete than the ufc is but this is gonna be great i want your i want your predictions you have to i want to hear what do you think is going to happen let's let's nail this down i'm saying mayweather it's not what i want to happen but what i think is going to happen as of this date is connor's never able to show mayweather anything that earns his respect. Mayweather toys with this guy,

eventually stops being passive and knocks him out inside of four or five rounds. Oh. Yeah. I think Connor gets knocked out because he doesn't get Mayweather's respect and he just picks him apart and ends him. Okay. It's going to be more of like an emotional game. He's going to just toy with him a little bit. No, Mayweather's typically a slow starter like the first thing he does is he watches how you react he'll throw a feint he'll you know and and kyle said it so well he's like oh i could have got you there we'll come back to that that's what he does in his first round or two and connor pushing the action connor comes out strong ufc does not have a lot of time uh doesn't do anything that gets

Mayweather's respect. That part of the fight game is really interesting, and it's something I'm only starting to understand that they do. Their two bodies are moving around, and they're looking for these openings to hit the vital spots. He's like, alright, left leg moves here. What does yours

do when my left leg goes there? Oh, yours does that. Alright. So next time... They're setting setting up choreography and you don't know that you're setting up choreography with someone else because you're just reacting the way you've been trained to, but they're, they're learning how you, how you react to each and everything. And it's okay. He, uh, a perfect example is guys who, uh, every time, uh, if every time I threw a front kick, you shoot for a takedown. Then I'm going to fake that front kick. You're going to shoot for a takedown.

I'm going to knee you in the forehead and knock you unconscious in front of all these people. And that happens plenty of times. Yeah. I'm thinking like you guys both picked Mayweather. What did McGregor say? He's like, oh, I'll have him out in round four. Inside of four rounds. Like that kind of shit. Isn't that what he said?

Somebody four or five I've got. Maybe he said four. I'll knock him out in four. I'm going to say that McGregor knocks him out in the fourth because one of us has to say something different. He's often right.

They call him Mystic Mac. They probably do. They probably do they probably do i promise you that's a real thing on mystic mac there but i really the bigger prediction is i bet by halfway through round two twitter is ablaze with how fucking boring the fight is because i think you're both gonna be right in that McGregor is going to be for a while trying to get him, but his stamina isn't as good as Mayweather's. And Mayweather, just like with Pacquiao, is that he's going to do that thing where he just turtles up and he is super defensive until he just, wow, like scorpion strikes at the perfect time. I think that Conor has better cardio too. And it really upsets me when like – so look.

Wasn't that his big critique? Yeah, in MMA it's it's a completely different venue right like you're doing five five minute rounds of mixed martial arts it's a whole different story than 12 three minutes rounds of boxing where you're at stand up in arms it grappling wrestling jujitsu is such a fucking toll like like if you're... Every second of grappling is like 30 seconds of stand-up. It's exhausting. They both are exhausting. So...

I don't know. Doesn't Mayweather do that thing? And I keep going back to this. Mayweather hasn't fought in a couple of years. There's a reason the man retired. He's 40 fucking years old. No offense to any senior citizens that might be in the crowd.

Or even one of the hosts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were talking about this the other day on PKN. But he's bald, too. That gives him like three years back right off the top. Black don't crack, though. He's looking good. We were talking about this on PKN.

Woody's like, hey, you look at the other 44, 45-year-old men out there. I'm top 10%. I'm like, oh, don't cut yourself short, baby. You're top 5%. You are one horrific, tragic accident from one hell of a dating scene. Uh-huh. I'm going to be slaying it on Tinder. Just one horrific accident.

Just one horrible tragedy. One life-changing disaster away. Take the first three minutes of a Marvel origin story and throw that into Woody's life and he's getting so much ass. That pool is just... There's like 15 women all around that pool, just everywhere. He's flying over them. They're spelling, come fuck me, with their

bodies. It'd be crazy. That's funny. Win or lose, they both win, right? I think my money is going to be on uh mcgregor i think i think connor's going to kill him i love it and the reason and the reason i say that is because i'm not even factoring in mayweather's age i'm just saying i'm the he's he's the taller fighter he's got the greater reach unless and he's not used to like get people coming close he's going to grapple him it's not going to be hard for it's not gonna be easy for a boxer to

get in close to an mma guy where he can do a jab or an uppercut. He's going to just keep grabbing him. And I think that— Those boxers fight on the inside. And the other thing, too, is even if he hits him in the face, I mean, the guys in MMA fighters used to get hit bare-knuckled in the face pretty much. That's not Conor's style, though. He's not a brawler. If it was like—if it was one of the tougher guys in MMA, one of the guys like Rory or somebody who we've seen take horrible beatings. You'd be like, oh, that guy could take 12 rounds of punishment from

Floyd Mayweather. I don't know for sure that Conor can. I'm just pretty sure that he can. It wouldn't really be 12 rounds of punishment because you were saying that a lot of the time, Mayweather isn't even throwing punches. He's just a tactician moving around. He's not going to get caught by a bunch of flurries.

It was the last guy that Floyd Mayweather fought. I don't remember his name um but but it was him talking about conor mcgregor's chances in this thing and what it's like to fight floyd mayweather and uh and all that stuff and he was just and the guy's asking him he's like do you think connor can do anything that you or pacquiao or mosley or any of these other guys you know couldn't figure out he's like i don't think so but you know and it, and it went on, and it really broke down Floyd and said some of the things that I've been saying here. You know, he's a tactician. He's very calculating.

He's incredibly alert. He's always watching your hips, your feet, your shoulders. Like, he's picking you apart the whole time on a mental level. But then they asked him, but what if Conor, you know, hits him? What if he catches him with a clean strike? And the guy's like, oh, well, if Conor hurts him, oh, he'll just be the president of Ireland then, right? And if he knocks him out, well, hell, he'll go be president of Ireland. Then he'll come over here and be our president too. He'll be the biggest thing there ever was if he knocks Floyd Mayweather

out. And when he said that, I was getting goosebumps because I was like, yeah, that's how big the the the what if is in this regard like it's very easy for us to take this this stance that yeah man it just i'm just gonna lose unfortunately it's not what we want but it's just the smart money but there's that chance that the the flip side of the coin is so crazy it's it's it's very much like the donald trump thing it's like oh the flip side of this coin is so bonkers. Like, God damn, I kind of want to see it. And, and if, and they did when, when Connor fault Aldo,

right? He was this media sensation. Everyone was very excited about Connor. I wanted him to beat Mendez. I wanted him to beat Aldo just because I wanted something great. It's neat to live in an era of Muhammad Ali. It's neat to live and be like, yeah,

when I was into this, Michael Jordan was reigning supreme. Like it's cool to have a great in your sport. And Connor became that great for MMA. I don't know what's going to happen in boxing. He'll probably lose. Everyone says that, but man, if he wins bigger than Muhammad Ali, bigger, bigger Bigger. It sounds stupid, but I think it's true as far as just a media icon thing. He's going to be known forever

if he tails. Mike Tyson will be like, no one knew my name like they know yours. You are a global phenomenon. He'll transcend both sports. It's going to be crazy. It's a $100 pay-per-view for the HD version. I couldn't help wonder when I thought that

who is like, eh, I'll do standard def. I'm going to watch the series of GIFs the following day for free is what I'm going to end up doing. I would never pirate a show, but I was like, am I going to do what I would never do

or should I pay for it? I don't want to risk not seeing it properly. I'm going to pay for it, and I'm going to bet on it. Chiz and I were looking at the betting odds over on, I think, Bodaga or Bodar, something. And what he said he was going to do was to bet McGregor to win and put like $100 on every round up to the 10th. Bet like a grand on the fight. But because the odds are like, I think it's like 3,000 or 4,000 to 1, depending on which round you call, for McGregor to win in that round.

So if McGregor wins it all, he comes back with quite a bit of money. That doesn't sound right. I think you should really just look at that. For McGregor to pull off a single round is 3,000 to one? No, no, no. Not to win a single round, to win the fight in that round. So you can bet on which round McGregor wins it. Oh, gotcha.

So if you bet $100 that McGregor wins in the third, and that's off the top of my head 4,000 to one odds, then you do very well. I'm quietly studying right now because I'm still trying to decide how this is all going to go down. I think it might be 4,000 to one odds, then you do very well. I'm quietly studying right now because I'm still trying to decide how this is all going to go down. I think it might be 4,000 to 100. Could be. I've never bet before, so I don't fully understand it. But when a fighter is like plus 600, that means, or minus 600, I am that fucked up too.

But you bet 100, you get that much back. You get 600. So when you see him in there, you're like, oh, the odds are this guy's plus $670. Like, all right, yeah, if you bet $100, you get your $100 and $670 back. If you bet $100 on the fifth, McGregor winning, and McGregor wins in the fifth,

you win $4,000 to one. They're not going to give you almost half a million dollars for that. Like, that's $400,000. Like, there's no way. if that was the case at that point like yeah that's that's that's too many zeros it's one too many i think yeah the i well i'm hoping mcgregor wins because it is to woody's point it would be really cool to see a new uh jordan or gretzky or whoever emerge in a sport and that's always good for the health of any sport when you have someone like a Tyson that draws more people in.

You're probably right. I just don't think of Tyson as... He was the rapist, dude. Okay, I think McGregor's going to win. McGregor's going to win second round by knockout. That's what I'm in for. That's not crazy, right? I'm going to say that

because I think what's going to happen is they're both going to come out in the first, and I think McGregor's just Gonna play the mental game. He's just gonna fuck with Floyd the entire round be really really sketchy Really really jumping around antsy like MMA fighters are maybe even be a little dirty and pull some punches He's not supposed to do and get him off balance He's gonna get in his fucking head and then in the second round Floyd's gonna be like oh shit

I need to I need to get on top of this guy and then he's got him if he if he doesn't stay back and Defend himself the MMA fighter. I think he's gonna him. If he doesn't stay back and defend himself, the MMA fighter, I think, is going to fucking decimate. I hope that's exactly what happens and this goes viral. Yeah. All right. So your prediction just goes everywhere. All right.

I got $10 on it. So, for example, $10 round two knockout. Conor McGregor winning in round eight is plus $5,000. So that means if you bet $100, you win $5,000. Okay. That's more realistic. I can see that. I don't think I'm going to bet on it. But you should definitely

buy it because this is one of those things that you're so into it, if something did happen at all, you would kick yourself for the rest of your life for not getting it. Tell me this, could McGregor fuck this up if he does some illegal shit? Yes. Could he technically fuck this up and lose on a technicality?

Well, not just lose the fight on technicality, but lose a significant chunk of his paycheck. That's in the contract negotiation. If he kicks this guy in the head, he's not getting $100 million. Okay, he seems like a really emotional person, so I'm changing my prediction. I think that by round two or round three, he's going to get get tired and he's gonna just start doing stupid shit

because he can't fathom the possibility of losing this and he would rather lose the money and just fuck him up anyway he can. He wants the money. I don't think he wants to lose. He wants the money. He's gonna get some money. He's gonna get like a hundred million, right? Almost as important as the fight, I'm really enjoying the press conferences. I did- Connor is kicking his ass all over the press conferences. And it's fun.

I think I was saying this earlier. There is no doubt Connor can beat up McGregor. That is not in question. No one doubts it. If those two get in a fight on the stage, Connor will crush him. Connor can beat up Mayweather as easily as he can beat up me. Does Connor have self-control, though? Have you ever seen him in a fight?

Demonstrate something. Yeah, yeah, he's never thrown red bulls. He's the best fucking fighter on planet Earth. He's got everything. You think that he could legitimately go in there and honor those rules? Even if he was just getting his ass just fucked up, he would just be like, Okay, these are the rules. He's never broken any other rules.

A hundred million dollars. Well, he hasn't boxed with anybody before either. He has though. I haven't seen him any groin shots or eye gouges or anything else i mean yes as training for mma which i think should be legal by the way i want to go on record saying that should be legal i gouged what are you saying i would say that like just to be clear like like his level of boxing knowledge or whatever like he's boxed in boxing rings with boxing gloves against like world championship boxers in preparation for this fight and over the last year he says he's sparring four

times more than he normally does he's sparring every day multiple times a day with boxers and and then like part his main in mma there's a couple of like categories of skill right you know it's mixed martial arts but the stand- game, which is usually boxing and a couple other disciplines, is a big part of it. And so he's always had like a boxing background, but it's more of a mixed martial arts boxing. There's dirty boxing. There's different kinds of strikes. The gloves are smaller, so you're able to do different kinds of strikes. So McGregor sounds like a legitimate boxer now, right? He's trained at the same level. Just not the legitimate level. Just not the same level.

But he's going against the best boxer on earth. Did Floyd do anything with MMA? Did Floyd do anything with MMA in preparation to learn? No, they're not fighting in MMA, but still to know your opponent, right? Why would you not study that? McGregor's core competency has been distance management. He does that better than anyone else. That's how he beat Aldo in 13 seconds.

That's how he beat Alvarez. That's how he beat a lot of his guys. Everyone else is hitting air and Conor's connecting. He just gets in and out and his timing is perfect. I don't think that he'll have an advantage over Mayweather. What Conor does so well is not going to be anything new to Mayweather.

It's a counterpuncher. What do you think the smallest weapon is that you would need that you'd be confident that you could beat McGregor or Mayweather in a fight? If you saw him on the street. Ruger 10-22. I like the Wings of Redemption style, right? Like, Connor, I'm going to kick your ass, meet me in a field.

I'll be in the tree line and instant win. Well, my question doesn't work with small. It has to be a hand-to-hand thing, because I don't know why smaller is like damage. Let me take this. I guarantee that, Taylor, I guarantee that, Taylor, you could kill Conor McGregor in a 1v1

if you had a knife. It's just, I mean, maybe come in like this, so he didn't kick you in the side of the head and knock you completely unconscious, but what's he going to do? Take you down, and you're going to stab him in the back of the neck? Is he going to, he didn't kick you in the side of the head and knock you completely unconscious but what's he gonna do take you down and you're gonna stab him in the back of the neck

what's is he gonna he doesn't want to he's gonna want to like hit you right or kick you but if you ever wrap up with this guy oh that's bullshit like every martial art teaches no no no all the bullshit martial arts do uh the smart martial arts you ask a jujitsu practitioner or a boxer or a muay thai guy so uh what move would you use for a knife-wielding combat? He's like, oh, you want to shoot that guy, bro. Ten out of ten, you shoot that motherfucker and he won't stab you. I've seen it go down. Well, what punch?

No, no, no, no, no, no. He's got a knife? You train every day. You should be able to outrun the knife-wielding guy. I'm not as confident as you are. Can he throw the knife? I'm not as confident as you are. Can he throw the knife? I'm not as confident as you are with the knife thing. Unless it was a very large knife,

because I feel like I'd still get kicked or something. I'd definitely do some damage. Maybe the kind with a loophole for your teeth. How hard is he going to kick you? If you let Conor McGregor kick you as hard as he could, he wouldn't kill you. He might break your fucking ribs and cripple you to the ground, but all you've got to do is this three times and he's dead, right?

You're gonna grievously wound this man with a slash of a knife. Knife wounds are no joke. Proper knife would dramatically increase my odds. I'd get in Connor's head. I'm gonna say straight up hand to hand, because I would bite his nuts. That is the stupidest thing we've said so far tonight. We'll see if he can top it.

I use my nuts for fighting stunts. Yeah, if he chooses to rest his balls on your forehead. I would go full on pit bull lockjaw on them balls. Like, yeah, you kill me. You're going to be carrying me with you for the next couple of miles. That's not going to work. I'm thinking knife. If it's a huge knife.

If it's baseball bat, I'm very knife. If it's a huge knife, if it's a baseball bat, I'm very confident I would win. Really? Uh-uh. No. I think you're worse off with a baseball bat. Let me tell you why. Like an aluminum bat? You can't swing it faster than the leg kicks that man dodges on a regular basis.

You don't have the bat speed, Taylor. You just don't. You just motherfucker at him and he's You just don't. And he's going to dodge. Okay, I immediately reneged that comment because you're right. I don't know. I suck at baseball. I do not have the bat speed to take down. It'd be fun to watch, though.

You give me two afternoons alone with an uprooted stop sign, and I'll take him out. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Here's the question, Kyle, once you're opinion on this. Take away the baseball bat, and I don't even know what this weapon's called, but it's basically a stick, a chain, with a ball with spikes on it. Is that a flare? Morningstar!

It's called Morningstar. Okay. I might like Morningstar on this thing. If, um, yeah, I don't think McGregor knows how to- But do you get the speed up first before you engage him, or do you have to like, go? It's just the intimidation factor alone. You need that thing, like an old-schoolschool baseball player like keeping that bat twirling you get that thing going time Yeah, that thing would be hard to take on like the way you see them Take it in the movies right as they like get real close inside and like get the chain or something and then it's it

But but but I don't think McGregor has any I still like knife I think you'd have to get in his head too because he's clearly susceptible to that you'd have to be like the greatest Not acceptable to that as I'm standing there with my uprooted stop sign that I've had two full afternoons of practice with. That was my thing. You'll have to say things that'll get him off track. Like, just little things. Like, it doesn't have to be insulting.

Just be like, oh, yeah, dude, all of fucking Scotland's going to be crying tonight. And he'll be like, Scotland, I'm not Scottish. Like, I'm going to be recessed. And by that point, one of those fucking corners of that stop sign is embedded in his neck. Because he had to stop for a second and be like, I'm the pride of okay, so you don't want to get any of my blood in your mouth. It's a really bad AIDS, too. Like, they told me it's like...

Bad. Yeah. And then while he's, like, all trying to put on his gloves and shit, then I go bite his balls off. But I think just biting him anywhere, if he bought the Hep C or AIDS thing is you probably don't have to go for the you're you seem really like I'm not risking the shit I'm out yeah I gotta say I think he outrun G yeah you would outrun me yeah yeah there's not a lot I can do that would help me be kind of a great professional athletes are just one tier below like wild animals I think and that's why me beat Conor McGregor. Yeah, professional athletes are just one tier below wild animals,

I think, and that's why there should be a wild animal fighting league that employs professional athletes, of course. They would be a new class of athlete, the animal fighting athlete. How many times do I have to tell you to look at my GoFundMe, Kyle? I've been trying to get this going for years.

Who do you think animal fighting league is? Who do you think BearHater101 is? $800. $800? I've been trying to get this going for years! Who do you think Animal Fighting League is? Who do you think Bear Hater 101 is? $800! I've seen nothing! I didn't even get my fucking animal coaster that was for all the $20 a month people. That's what you made out of a real bear palm.

I'll get like a prison fighting league. Dude, one last thing I'm very excited about with the McGregor thing is it's happening. It's August, right? Late August. Am I right about that? Yeah. I'm so used to Game of Thrones fucking honeydicking us, right?

Like, oh, yeah, do you like this show? We'll be back in 18 months. Like, I'm shocked that they agreed to this. And then two or three months later, they start fighting. A couple weeks later, they start the press tour. Like, this stuff is actually happening. And they both want it right it sounds like they both really i want rick and morty now i know rick and morty's coming out soon but that was like a year and a fucking half two years between episodes coming out soon but you know what's happening right i

didn't say it last time that it's coming out uh on the 29th of this month or something like that but you know what's coming out right episode one we already saw episode one no of course oh please tell me that's not what they're airing for you is this a kyle guess or is it true are you sure that are you just speculating boys come on think about it i was kind of under the impression that they were going to start on episode one right episode one of course would they... You think they're just going to pretend like that episode didn't happen, not sell any fucking commercials on it? They're going to take 90% of their money for this year?

You're even dumber than I thought, Morty. You thought you were going to get new content? No, you just got to keep them on a leash, Morty. You keep them on a leash. I think you're right, and I hate it. I think you're both right. No, that other thing. Was episode one...

Was episode one on TV yet or just online? No, only online. Yeah, I watched it. You're totally right. You're 100% right. Fucking, fucking, fucking, this is what I'm talking about. This is the honey-ticking that, like, now Game of Thrones is coming out Sunday.

I'm very excited about that. But you know what? Last time I watched a new Game of Thrones, I was significantly younger. That shit was a while ago. I might have been, I'm 44 now. I think I was 42 when the show came out. You have gone from early 40s to solidly in your mid 40s. Yeah, yeah.

In one season. At the time, I think I was like 42 the last time Game of Thrones was on air. I'm 44 now. it's fucking ridiculous how long they make you wait for this shit but mcgregor mayweather they're like oh yeah let's do it three months from now like i thank you thank you for like a thing happening in some reasonable amount of time i love that you know what my favorite part of all the press conferences was there was this moment where so mcgregor pulls this stunt first of all the crowds are like 90 mcgregor like the crowds are all about mcgregor mcgregor gets all the crowds are like 90 mcgregor like the crowds are

all about mcgregor mcgregor gets up there he's like on the count of three say fuck the mayweathers one two three and the whole crowd goes fuck the mayweathers and like 90 of the people give him a fucking d-ass finger like like the whole crowd giving his whole family the finger and and and then finally like he gets yeah i love it I love it. And finally, Mayweather's turn to speak, right? And he's doing some regular chant he does, and nobody's really responding to it. He goes, hard work. And then I don't even know what they're supposed to say. Eight people go, eat fur, or something like whatever his chant is.

And he gets out this backpack. He's got like a Louis Vuitton backpack or something, some designer backpack. And he's got like a couple wads of money and a hundred million dollar check in there and he keeps breaking it out he broke it out in la he's like this is what a nine-figure fighter looks like or something to that to that regard and so like on this most recent tour in toronto i think it was uh the crowd's always got these irish flags and floyd snatches one of them and he's got the flag and he's acting like he's gonna like desecrate the flag in some way he's like wearing the flag and bunching it up and stuff and connor's like you better not do nothing to that flag he's like goes there he's like i got your bag he like runs over there and snatches up

the fucking bag with the money in it with the money and the check he goes there's only like five thousand dollars in here he throws the he's like got the money he's like he's like you do anything to that flag i'm tearing up the check yeah they're like a standoff he's like you'll never get this back yeah yeah mayweather he's been stealing people's shit at press conferences for a long time you really have to secure your things i would i would put my shit in a safe if i was what is mayweather's like um saying hard work no he says hard work and then the crowd shouts back dedication i just looked it up so yeah and he goes out there he saying hard work. No, he says hard work. And then the crowd shouts back dedication. I just looked it up.

So, yeah. And he goes out there. He goes, hard work. Crickets. Like, no one knows what. Dedication. Responsibility. Drink responsibility.

Dude, it's the new generation. People want to be entertained, right? They want to be entertained. It sounds like Connor's going to bring the entertainment, right? He's coming out there like fucking dressed like he's uncle sam's old black uncle or something who's watching daytime sitcoms or something he's got like a red white and blue sweatsuit on uh and and then he had a couple of like canadian flags on when he was in toronto he's like yeah i got the toronto flag on so toronto there's no way for us to lose it because mcgregor would be fun to see

win and mayweather's american so there you go the oh so when mcgregor does these press tours he's used to taking questions like that's what happens they go up there and you know ariel harwani or whoever asks a question and he answers it or maybe they ask both fighters the same question and you get to see him go back and forth. With boxing, they're doing these boxing-style press tours. So they basically just put a lectern up there or a podium, I don't know the difference, and then they'd, like, rile up the crowd.

That's what they'd do. They'd do a speech. There's not supposed to be this back-and-forth jawing thing. No one told McGregor what this was going to be. They're just like, all right, there's your lectern. Go. And he's like, what?

Yeah, they're trying to throw me for a loop here. It won't work. I'll still rile up the... And he does a bunch of his greatest hits. Who the fuck is he or whatever. But by the second event, McGregor killed it. He had all these prepared lines. He was ready to go.

And he had a bunch... He was like a rap battle guy. He's broke. That Bentley he's got parked out there it's 2012 that's a 2012 Bentley out there right he's like this is what a nine there's five grand in here that's that you know it yeah the closing the it was there was an opening and a closing to McGregor's thing it was like he hired a fucking speechwriter or something to tear McGregor to tear Mayweather apart he starts off off with, does this fucking mic work?

And it clearly does. And the audience is like, yeah! And he's like, well, fuck that mic! He slaps the shit out of the other mic that's up on the lectern. And then the last thing he says, of course, look at that school bag! You're a 40-year-old man with a school bag! You can't even fucking read!

And the crowd's like, oh! He can't read. He can't fucking read and it's in the crowds like oh he can't read he can't fucking read he's illiterate yeah uh and and mayweather's only comeback is like yeah i can't read good but i can count like that's okay but you still can't read it's tough you can't be i i that that is an impossible please tell me they're gonna have a mic in there please tell me they're gonna have like the best shotgun mic ever pointed at their face through the whole fight, because McGregor's never going to shut up. I hope so.

There is no comeback to the insult, you can't fucking read, dude. Like, think about, what do you say? Oh, well, I don't need to read. Like, reading? What has it ever done for anyone? You know? I can afford to hire this reader person

for me. This is my translator. Yeah. Like, no. If someone says you can't read, you've got to sit there. The comeback he always had was, but I'm rich. Right? That's his thing. But I'm rich. The thing is, just before the fights, the press tour started, he has these IRS obligations, you know? He's like, you're not rich. You owe money.

You owe to the IRS. Like, you can? He's like, you're not rich. You owe money. You owe to the IRS. You can't pay your taxes. Why are you up here pretending you're Money Mayweather when you're in debt? And I'm not in debt. Look, I still have this check. It's a check. I want Conor to come out. I'm going to go ask this right after.

Are you ready to cash it on the sideline? I could write a check for a quarter billion right now. Now, don't cash it. It won't work. But I could write a check for a quarter billion right now now don't cash it it won't work but i could write that check you know check start money you know like oh you needed money i thought you needed a check i got checks oh i think he had a hundred million dollars that someone had no he had a hundred million dollar current check that he's toting around like like well that's the deal right it's a prop i'm pretty sure that that's like i don't i don't think it's definitely a prop he didn't bring a real hundred million dollar check and like why not it's not a hundred million dollar check is ridiculous but it's not a bear bond let's all be honest you

know he at least went tried to cash it even though they told him not to you know he at least tried to cash it you don't have a serial number on it. There's people at Walmart with a $100 billion bill like, hey, I'd like change for that 12-pack. In boxing, so in... Mr. Mayweather, it says Shutterstock in the bottom mark behind it. They can't read either.

They have to take that money and they have to put it in an escrow account. And the show doesn't even start unless the whole salary of the thing is put aside and et cetera. They can't pay you with the gate. They have to have that money in advance. It's a symbolic check though, right?

It's a symbolic check is what I'm getting at. Those boxes are paid with electronic transfers, undoubtedly. No way they're writing checks out of an escrow account. Yeah, but it's not as... But there's a difference between someone writing a check who doesn't have that money and Floyd writing that check, right?

Or Floyd possessing that check. I'm surprised that check wasn't six foot by three foot. That's $400. He couldn't afford that. I was going to make this check huge, but that was $325. He's clearing out. But come August 29th, we can get the biggest check. I'm a little tight right now. It's clearing house. Come August 29th, we can get the biggest check in the world. We don't care. We can get a billboard. I got the money. Yeah, I'm gonna

buy an $8 million check. God damn it, Floyd. Stop spending your money. We haven't even made that shit yet. Yeah. What are the money they put into these events? Okay, so $100 million check, right? It's like $100 million. You could probably have a more entertaining fight, let's be honest, by just going to a penitentiary and pulling out lifers that are on death row and be like, hey, whoever wins gets to go to an island for a weekend before we electrocute your ass. Get in there.

I think a lot because we had a conversation last week about what we would do if we were dictators of the world. And one of my first ideas was setting up a prison fight league. But it wouldn't be like to get a week of vacation They would get their freedom That's too much like yeah, they don't know that they have to live in Baltimore. They have to live in Baltimore Those creepy like shotgun shell things they had in Saw. Yep.

Do we need a new topic? That would cost $100 million, though. That'd be cheap. Like, save us money. Also on Showtime, so this thing's going to be on Showtime, so I'm going to buy it. It's $100. It seems silly, but I am. Also on Showtime, though, they have this thing in Thailand where these guys literally do what you just described. fight for their freedom muay thai fights and when

you win x amount of fights like 10 15 or whatever you get your freedom and uh it's on there now the whole series where they follow this championship fighter um up to his last fight right to escape prison he was a gang member doing like quite a few years he'd been in for quite a few years for murder and he fucking wins this fight and walks as far as i i think i'm pretty sure so that's a thing but nobody's gonna fight harder than fighting for their freedom if they got a life sentence nobody's gonna fight harder like they're not gonna be like oh right like like like it's not about getting more motivation out of somebody at some point you know like like you're already in there and there's a man trying to beat you down and your family, your wife is watching.

And in the UFC especially, boxing has weird purses, but in the UFC it's like if I win this, I get double what I get if I lose this. And also if I win this next time, I get like 20% of what I make this time. But if I lose this next time, it's possible I make 20% less than I made this time. So they are fighting with everything they have you can't motivate them anymore and you know you could put a gun to their kid's head they might poke an eye out but like a lot of them are broke too yeah a lot of them broke i i feel like uh it's a non-fighter who thinks that motivation like you know like oh i could win i get so angry when i fight yeah no someone else is more skilled

than you and that's not going to help out. Oh, I love music. I could just hop over there and bang out a symphony on that piano. You sound like an idiot. And it doesn't matter how much you gritted your teeth and was like, I'm going to get this done. I'm such a hard worker. It's like, no. There is something to be said for natural athleticism versus natural music talent, though. I think one is a lot more common than the other.

It's rare you see someone who can hear an instrument play and go, I don't know what keys are, but da-da-da-dun, da-da-da-dun, da-da-da-dun. That doesn't happen. But there are people like that. There are. Who you're looking at. I've actually worked with an autistic kid

before they could play anything, any song that you could hum. Even if he didn't hear the original song, he could just walk right over the keyboard and just bang it out with two hands. Same tempo and everything. And I was like, yeah, that's a little weird. But it's awesome.

That is really interesting. I'll watch that. Yeah. Those are really interesting things to look up, those savants. Yeah. It's like the guys that have the photographic. Have you seen the autistic kids that have the photographic memory where they just look at something for like a second and they're like, here's a piece of paper and a pencil. And they draw it to scale and they actually take like a ruler and they're free-handed it

They take a ruler and they're like everything's exactly to scale I'm skeptical Those poor little kids are gonna run out of hard drive space by 30 They're fucked Like four years old they already got fragmentation issues and shit I don't know where my cheeks are or where I live but I saw a Leonardo da Vinci painting when I was eight. Let me recreate it for you. That's not what you want.

This is like when you download a couple of huge, stupid, useless apps way too early in your phone or device's lifespan. And then later when you get to necessities, you're like, man, I don't have any room for Netflix because I needed this Abacus app. Why the fuck did I download this? But on the flip side you'd only ever have to subscribe to porn sites for one month ever because you just memorize everything and come back to it dude i got a new phone i want to talk about it so this is my new phone i got an iphone 7 plus my man my problem is i went swimming with the last phone so that was stupid i made a mistake but i got the plus this time and i I am so, like, happy about the bigger phone.

It is awesome. But I'm not sure if the phone is awesome or if I'm just old. I kind of, like, you know the geriatric phones that you plug into a wall, and the keys are so big on them. They're practically like one-year-old playing blocks, you know, the wooden blocks. I'm like, man, I can type faster because little keyboard is bigger i can read better because the words are bigger i'm not sure if the seven plus is an awesome size or if i'm just too old to be using new phones nope i think it's an awesome size and you swim with it i've taken this thing to like three water parks now it's a swim with it yeah in the hot tub i

take this in the hot tub with me and just set it next to me on the seat in the hot tub. Intentionally. Yeah. They're water resistant. Oh, I've submerged this thing everywhere. It works fine. I take it in the shower, take it in the bathtub. You know, you gotta get those bathtub selfies.

Make sure I'm getting under all the folds. You know? That's a bathtub joke. I saw some reviews online. Oh, I'm imagining that now. Like, like, like, I feel like... Thanks for that. I apologize.

No, no, no. This is great, because I always thought, like, so Wingings got that MRSA infection in one of his rolls one time. And I think that it probably got so bad because he was unable to detect it before things got out of hand. iPhone 7 would have solved that. This is a product... Dude. There's an app for that. There's a selfie stick for that called the Fat Bro.

All right? It's a selfie stick. Okay? That way you're able to reach around and get a good look at it. Crease it a little so you can slide it through the creases? Dude, I got this. The nooks, the crannies. Yep.

Do you often find yourself rotting in unexpected places? It's usually my ass, but I have a good authority to ask people. I look under a wall, and it's just like necrosis. Just like, aww, there's a rib hanging out wow yeah those are the worst videos where they uh like on live leak because i can't put these on youtube where they're like homeless man found with maggots in his belly or something or in his feet his feet that's what it is kyle is kyle's gesturing wildly about it but it's like that you see a guy get his shoe we could it is pretty oh i watch it well the sad

thing is that happens because of diabetes they they they start becoming diabetic and they lose all their nerve filling feeling in their feet and then their feet start just rotting because they're not getting any blood flow to it and they don't feel it they're just like oh it's down there the maggots are like neil how long you have to take your shoe off or leave your shoe on before you take it off and half your foot is gone yeah i'm glad you said that that's what i was gonna say next because that's the thing right they they asked they asked him like how long have you had this shoe on sir and it's like two years three years um look at that if you dare yeah i dare yeah you know so woody where's the watch you got the phone where's the watch bro oh the you know i have

specific requirements for a watch because i go flying and i like the altimeter built into it and stuff so that's why i got this one oh you can't use like the gps poor people altimeter that's like in the altimeter i don't even know does it have a barometer built into like i don't know i'm just really happy back down now get'll get back to you on that. I'll get back to you on that. But it should for $400. I'm getting a Fitbit because I play a lot of PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds and there's a lot of heart-pounding moments. One of the guys I was playing with last night was like, I got a Fitbit so I can monitor my heart rate.

And I'm like, what happens in clutch moments? He's like, it goes up to 125. I was like, holy shit, that's awesome. So I ordered a Fitbit. I want to know what mine goes up to because I swear to God, this game. 125? I'm 125 right now. That's like my resting heartbeat.

Well, he's an 18-year-old athlete. So that's why I'm like, mine will be higher than that. So the other day, 100 people go in. Only one man leaves alive, I guess. And there's three of us left. And I'm hiding in my building with my shotgun. And I realized there's so much adrenaline that my hands had gone numb my that my hands had gone numb and tingly and i had to like shake the like feeling back into my hands i was so like pumped up and

scared in that moment i'm so shaky i'm at 102 beats per minute just sitting here that ain't healthy bro that ain't healthy bro and i saw your x-rays today and that's not healthy do you have your x-ray on you could you show yeah yeah here let me here let me go see if i can find it in the little picture folder over here hold on i gotta wade through some porn give me just a second i like put it in the porn folder it surprised me every once in a while are you talking about the back the back yeah yeah my-ray. I watched a couple videos and saw that. That looks rough. You have a similar skeletal

shape to a question mark. I do. Like D. Reynolds. Yeah, your spine's a bit curved there. I kind of want to cover that topic first. Check this out. Your spine just takes the scenic route. We can circle back to the maggots. I'd love you guys to see this. We can circle back to the maggots. Well, yeah, but you guys can see this. You can circle back to the maggots.

Well, yeah, but it is on the dumpster. That right there, do you guys see that? Yes. That's actually me straight on. That's not me from the side. That's me straight on. That's how much it's 45 degree deflection in my spine. Wow, that's scoliosis, right?

Yes, bad scoliosis, really bad. Somehow still at 300 pounds, I can still run around and ride mountain bikes and snowboard, and I don't blow discs out, and the doctors are like, well, that's a fucking anomaly. Those discs should be gone. that somehow still at 300 pounds, I can still run around and ride mountain bikes and snowboard and I don't blow discs out. And the doctors are like, well, that's a fucking anomaly. Those discs should be gone. We've all been doing a fitness thing.

I think we started in like mid-April. It's been like three months. Yeah, I have April 15th as my starting date. It's when I did that lessons in aviator PPG, learning to fly again. But anyway, so are you doing anything right now? It sounds like you're pretty active Not right now I've fallen off after I hurt my back

I kind of fell off I fell off quite a bit I actually need to get back on the wagon That's something I really need to do God damn this food tastes good Jesus Christ food is so good If food didn't taste good I wouldn't have a problem I haven't had any since April that I really really need to do. God, Joey, I'm gonna say it tastes good. Jesus Christ, food is so good. Yeah. Food is the best.

If food didn't taste good, I wouldn't have a problem. I'd be like screaming. No, I haven't had any since April. That could be good food. And it wasn't the shitty thing about the diet. Why can't somebody come up with a diet where you just eat everything? Oh, bulimia. Never mind, they already got it.

I bet. Yeah, you could be like that guy in Fargo with the horrible teeth. Vomit. No, no, no, no, bro. I gotta just use my tongue to kind of block it, and then the vomit will go over the top. Use it like a sled. It's the horrible teeth. No, no, no, no, bro. I got to just use my tongue to kind of block it. And then the vomit will go over the top. Use it like a sled. It's fine.

I thought about that so many times. Look, here's the thing about those people who get the rotten teeth. You don't have to have the rotten teeth because, look, I'm not. I am an acid expert as well. And stomach acid expert. And in my expert opinion, three seconds exposure to on your tooth enamel to your stomach acid isn't doing any fucking damage at all the problem is they're going and vomiting and then going about their goddamn day instead of

renting their mouth out properly and maybe using some sort of a slightly basic solution to completely neutralize all the acid like bulimia is a is a real way out if you're if you're a fat person out there who's watching this. It's doable. Don't lose hope. Don't lose hope. Honestly, if you stick to it, you're vomiting all your food up, so you will get skinnier. Man, I wish Smart Mouth was a sponsor tonight. No, I think there needs to be a middle ground.

Guys, guys, hold on. Being a fat person like myself, I think there needs to be a middle ground. Maybe you only throw up two out of three meals. That way you're still guaranteed to get some nutrients. Only one meal. You only have to vomit one meal. You have one – you have every day. What if you eat six meals?

Now, you have one big crazy meal, whatever you want, and you just vomit that one up. And the rest of the time you eat normally. So like every day around noon I have myself a pizza and a few desserts, and then I just throw them all up. And at first, I was putting them in the toilet, right, like a normal sane person would, but then I thought, God, I'm wasting all this vomit. So now I store it. And depending on what I eat, I get a different color. I put a little LED light source underneath

it. It's a beautiful collection in one of these rooms down here. Like a lava lamp? Gotcha. It's exactly like a lava lamp. I like it. As soon as I have enough to market and sell. Eat some pizza and get that oil in your stomach and it actually does create a lava lamp. There you go, man. PKA in two months. Limited quantity.

Kyle's lava lamps. First hundred people. As they piece up the chunks, start migrating around and stuff. Let us know if you want pizza or bagels. I'll eat whatever you want. I think you need to write a pamphlet or a book or something, Kyle, called

Vanity Fitness. I wish they could do some kind of surgery where you just shit out the food. You skip the stomach. Why can't they just have a valve? I want a valve on the side of my body. I just flip. It just bypasses the stomach. And literally, I eat the cheeseburger. Fifteen minutes later, that thing's just coming out the same cheeseburger I just ground up. They totally do that, right?

I think so. Why not? I often often see and it's a little gruesome but but you get ports for chemo i think and ports for various things like catheter openings and stuff and like why couldn't they just have a port right here like that's yeah colostomy bags and stuff oh just a little y valve right you know you don't you get i put it right on the soft guess you just flip it over just kind of sledding out right in front of you like you'd be sitting there like uh you know olive garden or whatever gorging yourself on your breadsticks and like halfway through the meal you're like oh my switch fuck these are all belly breadsticks now i was wondering whether it wasn't a disgusting yeasty mess dripping onto the floor for some 16 year old kid to clean up

bring me more breadsticks than I may be doing. You go to a Mexican restaurant, you get the whole beans, you just chew them up, they come out refried. Oh, gosh. That's horrible. That would be great. And I love that kind of shit, too, because all those poor, starving countries out there

would see this and just really shake their fists. They couldn't even fathom what we're fucking talking about. You have so much food that you need to We are trying to eat the same food twice because we are not getting all the calories from it. All these people in America have special tubes that they eat

and they do not even take the calories. At the very least, they could ship us the chewed up mush. I picture this Y-shaped valve with LED lights like a flux capacitor. It's got to be RGB dude. It's got to be RGB. Ah, it'd be great. I don't know what the solution to that is, but look, there's just such a gigantic market that placed this there.

If you ever figure out the thing that you put in the back of your throat surgically that's like a human garbage disposal that like if food passes through this tube of plastic that we're going to surgically implant in your esophagus, this takes out like all of the salt that was in there. Like 90% of the salt has moved instantly from your food or like calories or however you want to do it. I guess you could run into some problems becoming anemic and stuff. You're like, I can't get enough calories in anymore. I've got my thing to do. Forgive me for not knowing this, but does salt make you fat? I don't think salt makes you fat.

It makes you retain water. Salt's bad for a lot of reasons. You'll get bloated, but it's not fat. But it's temporary. You don't eat salt the next two days and that's gone. If you eat a bunch of pretzels and then drink a bunch of beer like you can weigh yourself in the morning and then at like the end of the day weigh yourself

and you'll you can be like eight pounds heavier but it's just water weight unless you really fucking went to town yeah get sometimes i eat popcorn and drink water and that morning's like the next morning's weigh-in is always awful it's's not good news. But as a nutritional expert, I would maintain that the salt's probably not good for your body chemistry in such large quantities, right? I would imagine your cells probably don't do their job as well if you're pumped full of

nitrates and sodium and stuff. Are you sure you're an expert? Because this sounds kind of like layman talk. Oh, no, no. Kyle's really resonating. I also have a degree in that. I'm just trying not to go over your head Thank you My cells just don't do their job as well They kind of come in late maybe

Maybe you can explain this then So I go in to get a physical twice a year I have to go get a physical twice a year Because I have to take opiates for my back And the doctors are like they got to make sure I'm not a crackhead So I go in there for my physical I always get it back then it's a full physical they do everything like i mean everything you know what i'm saying anyways they always give me the results back it always says no recommendation to diet and exercise and all my numbers are

perfect every single time even at 37 and 300 pounds not even no high blood cell nothing no no they tell me to lose weight for my back. They're like, your back is fucked, bro. Gravity is not your friend. Lose some weight. But every time that I've gone in, they can't recommend bariatric surgery or anything like that because I'm in perfect health as far as organ function. Yeah. I don't know how that is because I do consume quite a bit of salt.

I do have a pretty unhealthy diet most of the time. Well, you're still a young man. Give it time. Well, I'm 37, though. I mean, you'd think, God damn, I've been this my whole life. You've got two years left. Two, I'm 37 though. I mean, you'd think, god damn, I've been in this my whole life. You've got two years left. Two years left. Yes! See, what you don't know, my friend, is you are

approaching a precipice. You can't see it because it's so large and dark. It's like a goddamn black hole sucking light itself as well as time. Save me, Kyle. Save me. Time is short, my friend. Soon. The end is nigh. Those internal organs which are just laced with fat deposits.

There's two kinds of fat, right? There's the fat that you can see that's like out here that you can squeeze and grab. And then there's like, well, these people, and I'm not saying this is you. I really am. I've got it all in my belly, dude. I don't even have that much underarm fat for 300 pounds. You get fat directly on your organs. Like they get encased in these layers of fat.

And I was listening to this like – it was a surgeon, a cosmetic surgeon talk about it. Yeah, get these women who come in who think that they need a tummy tuck. And it's like, no, you're obese. Every organ, including your intestines, is covered in fat, like a big, goopy two-inch layer of fat around every organ. Oh, I've heard of that. It sounds like she's marbled. She's marbled. She's marbled.

Absolutely. If you were an animal, how delicious and delectable her heart would be. Or her liver. Like, you'd cut into it. It's just like... Dude, you would, like, get sick eating a person's organs that fat. Like, you remember that cross-section we looked at that one time?

Where it was, like, basically what do they call it like the ventral cut where you see the side and it was like a skinny guy and a super fat guy and every time i see that like i notice how gross it is and seeing like oh my god like there's so much fat on those organs no wonder it was struggling but you also have to think like man that slice was once a person and at some point that person was eight years old and imagine if like someone from like now came back in like just poof poofed in their life and was like hey 40 years from now you're gonna be a horizontal slice and people are gonna go gross when they walk past you see ya like like that makes mac and cheese is good yeah he's like

well you won't hurt me i'm gonna spite you now yeah i'm gonna eat more fuck that cross strong was born do you ever think about that kyle like how like those were real people and now their lasting legacy is someone looking at them gawking going ew like is it weird that i think that's actually kind of a cool legacy? No, I'd rather be the skinny guy that they're comparing and they go, Ah, look at this adult. And then look at this.

Oh! This guy has the largest man tits ever in the history of all tits. No man has ever had a tit to the girth of this man's tits. I could be okay with that. I'm dead, so I'm kind of okay with that you think as you're in like the body exhibit and like all your sinewy tendons are spread out but they've left you're perfectly telling his girlfriend yeah yeah but yeah i have big tits i was um i i was i was listening to something the other day about uh warner von braun and the nasa program

and how it warner von bra Braun's rocket program back in Germany, they hang slow, the five slowest Jews every day. Um, and that got me thinking, what if we killed the five fattest people in every state every year? Catch me first, man.

Got to fucking catch me first. I shouldn't be a problem. It won't be hard. Second time I've had to tell you. You ain't catching me. I dig, man. I dig that gravity gives me traction.

What state are you in, Jerry? Washington. Okay. It wouldn't matter what state you said. Like, I regret to inform you, you're not even close to the top five. You are going to have to put in years and years of work if you want to make it to the top five baddest people in the state. How often do we kill the top five? How about every other Thursday?

Okay. If you want to do every day, why not every day, man? Don't go soft. No, no no no i don't like how about every other thursday okay if you want to do every day why not every day man don't go stop once a year we have a reaping once a year we have a reaping as i like to call it but here's the thing here's what would happen after like year three all of us the first year we'd slaughter a bunch, 500-pound men. By year 20, there's some 238-pound guy who's just cranking out the reps. He's like, kill him! Kill him! And he stands up

and he goes, to a day! And 50 other men go, every day! And they're all just trying not to die. And our whole country would just be these power men by the end of this. It could happen this way. We should have them like a cutoff. People are vomiting in the vomitorium before the weigh-in.

How fun would it be if it's like, all right, they're going to kill the top five guys, but I'm cool. I'm like ninth. But these are morbidly obese people, and they don't make it to the reaping, and suddenly like, ah, four of them died. I'm so fucked. Now I die too. Yeah. They never make it. It feels like you're bursting the fattest guy along.

Like, come on, just have another spoonful. Come on. You're fine. You might want to keep him healthy. You might. If he's 30 pounds heavier than me, I might give that guy some, like, water and fruit so that he lives till the reaping. You just kind of hold him at that nice spot.

Kind of like cutting the Achilles tendon of your friend when you're scuba diving so the shark eats him. Kind of thing. You're like, here, come on come on no here's a fruit roll up bro that was the thing oh dude that's the first thing i thought about when i got scuba certified very first thing i thought about when i got super certified i got a dive knife and i was like if a shark comes anywhere near me man i'm just fucking cutting the guy that's with me i don't know him some guy named ian i'm just gonna fucking cut his shark have you ever seen a risk though man it's easier to cut him he ain't moving so good.

He's in the same class. He doesn't even know how to use his flippers. He's fucking hitting the ground and shit. Like, it's easier to cut him. I'm on Jerry's team with this. I'm not going to attempt to stab the shark if there's a perfectly good, maimable human right next to me.

That's right, and the shark ain't gonna go for me. The shark isn't gonna go, oh, wounded guy with blood coming out versus, I don't know, fat guy slowly swimming away. I don't... I'm gonna go for you. The shark has no concept of honor. He doesn't look at you cutting the other guy and go,

oh, we'll see what this fatty thinks. I'll show him. Like, no. He just goes, oh, thanks a lot. I appreciate that. You know, this is probably better for me anyway. Yeah, I'm not saying that I would do that. I'm not saying that I would do that unless it was necessary. Only if it was necessary would I do that.

Have you ever seen those shark knives? That's probably not what they're called, but they're like air-pressured knives, and the entire design of them is to put it into a shark, and then you press a button, and it has one of those little canisters that you put in those small CO2 paintball guns, and it just

diffuses air directly into its bloodstream, I guess. It looks like Kyle knows exactly how these work. Oh, yeah. So this thing, and they don't just use it against sharks. This is an assassination tool as well. You fucking pop somebody with this thing, and it pumps a huge volume of air into wherever the inside of you. It gets into the bloodstream.

The size of a basketball is formed inside of your body cavity. It's insta fucking death for a fish though They like he compares to like what you get now obviously they put it in gently and purposely But like when you get a colonoscopy they inflate you yeah, I got my appendix out name It would I bet I would Render a professional colonoscopy guess and say they're probably inflating you with like what like eight psi on the back end of their little thing you know like like it's just a guy with a bellows It could be! I wouldn't surprise me if it was manually controlled like that. They're pumping a very gentle like force of air inside it. It's what I'm saying

whereas that 12 gram co2 is releasing instantaneously a basketball-sized amount of pressurized CO2. It just insta-kills any fucking thing. And it just tore up your insides, too. It put the air in a safe place to go in and then expanded it. It tears into your insides,

and you're already wounded, and then immediately all that air comes out. It's tearing up everything in there. It's already got a good foothold. The coldness, I'm sure, is a factor of killing you faster and more horrible. Is there a part of your body that's built for this? What if they stab it? It goes into

a woman's womb and then it's just like, poof, built for babies. I don't want to sleep on Earth. Just sounds like an air raid siren. She's like, what happened? I think it kills any fucking thing. What I don't understand with sharks is why don't we have a shark repelling bracelet

or anklet you can put on that sharks are like, oh god, it hurts so much. And they swim 30 miles. Like the deer whistles you put on your front bumper. But for sharks. those don't work probably the shark one doesn't work either they had a buoy that was electrically charged and they threw in the water and all the sharks

the lemon sharks were just like fuck it we're out it electrically charged the water the salt water or something like that just enough of an electric field that it just fucked with them and they were just like oh we're out you guys were both like, hey, if I'm ever attacked, I'm going to stab my friend and let the shark...

I am just going to go scuba diving with Kyle who is a known shark hunter and let him attack the shark. Sometimes you don't like the people you scuba dive with. Kyle's like, you know what? This is what I train for. This is my thing. I've been looking for an opportunity to get into a shark fight for quite some time now. That'd be his thing. I've been looking for an opportunity to get into a shark fight for quite some time now.

That'd be his thing. I like the electricity idea way more. I think Kyle's lulled you into a false sense of security. I think what would really happen is he'd be like, man, it seemed like a good fucking idea until I'm face-to-face with the shark and he's gonna cut your Achilles tendon and just swim off. Did you see the Reddit gif where the shark attached that guy?

There was a Reddit gif and I think it might have been in that lasophobia, which I know Kyle likes. The shark is swimming up from the depths, right? He's in some sort of deep water. I don't know. We'll call it over 30 meters. And the shark comes into view. And it's coming at this guy.

The guy just happens to have maybe a harpoon, a spear, like something in that family. And he shoves it in the shark's mouth and the shark like immediately sort of recoils in shark in shock and and maybe the gif ends there but it's like the guy i think a lot of people reacted this way at first you're like that was a really cool thing to do the shark on the other hand that shark was trying to kill him undoubtedly that shark was an attack mode he was coming right at the guy like people an animal was trying to kill him. Undoubtedly. That shark was in attack mode. He was coming right at the guy. Like, people are fucked. If an animal is trying to kill you, if, like, a bear accosts me in the wild

and gives me a good battering and I somehow get the upper hand with a gun and a park ranger comes across me standing over this dead bear pissing on it, like, in anger as I'm bleeding, like, thought you could take me out, piss on you like that. And that guy's like,, that's discretion of a Preserved animal like it's in there like if any jury that convicted me of that they should all go to hell Yeah, like they should all be sent to eternity in hell because that like you should the same kind of thing as that lady the other week who a guy in a parking lot stole her purse and she was five months pregnant

And so she tried to chase him down as he's running away in a parking lot stole her purse and she was five months pregnant and so she tried to chase him down as he's running away in the parking lot and she's like, I'm not gonna catch him, I'm fucking five months pregnant. So she goes back to her car, hops in, turns on her truck, and then just runs down this dude who is running away with her purse and she got out, got the purse,

got back in, and the police arrested that dude and they arrested her. But that's another case of like that person should get off scot-free. She left him alive. That was the problem. She should have went GTA V style and got, like, the back wheel up on him and just did a burnout back and forth. You ever do that play in GTA V? You know, just do the little burnout on the corpses? Oh, it's great fun. I've played GTA a couple of times. I obeyed every law. I stopped at red lights.

Yeah, I saw that video a while ago, and I think that's when I stopped watching Woody. That was the video that killed it for me. Then I slowly came back because he started flying around in the clouds and shit. I enjoy that. I don't understand that sort of public outcry you get with hunting in general, but more especially

when people are defending themselves against wild animals. I saw that video a while back where there's a cougar, a panther, whatever you want to call it, a mountain lion, like 15 feet from this guy who's a biker, and he's just like, like, there's a giant cat right fucking there.

It's just right fucking there. And I'm thinking like, I feel like if he killed that cat, there'd been a public outcry. There always is. And then I saw that thing that Rogan was talking about where the guy speared the bear and uh and then the guy's wife who i'm guessing was an outdoors chick as well she like loses her under armor sponsorship because she was there filming it back up to the spearing the bear what were the was he hunting the bear defending himself like what was the scenario there this is a he's uh he's in canada

he is he is intentionally hunting a bear with nothing but a spear. He's got a GoPro on the spear. The spear handle is big. It's like one of those heavy-duty mop handles. I mean, it's... And he's a big man himself. He looks pretty large. And there's like a...

They bait the bear in. There's this food... There's this feeder thing. And this big black bear, like 300 or so pounds, is over there milling around it. And he's hiding behind a tree with a goddamn spear. And in the moment of truth, he kind of steps out in the open and chucks that spear as hard as he can and bear runs 60 yards of dice um but but it was pretty gory you know he speared a bear to death it was a black bear yeah those are the super super common ones like who would care if you go here in

washington you see him just like walking around and shit yeah well i mean it was a hunt you know it is a paid hunt like like I heard Rogan Joe Rogan say that he'd been there like the week before on a paid hunt. I know those guys hunt a lot So what was it? Like what was like was it just a public? Spear hunting season hunting what what are Where do you fall on this bear because it seems like you're killing just for sport, right? People don't eat these bears.

Yeah, they eat black bear. We ate black bear growing up. Me and my dad used to hunt them. Yeah, you got to cook the trichinosis out of it, but you can eat it. We'd smoke the shit out of it. For some reason, we ate it smoked. We never ate it any other way. It's better that way if you brine and smoke it.

I grew up poor, though. I didn't hunt for sport. We quite literally had to go hunt to eat because like we did not have enough money to buy meat so we'd literally go and hunt it was that bad of a situation growing up when did that start like how young were you when you had to start hunting for food i was about seven when my dad started teaching me how to shoot and then it looks like you've become a great hunter by the way oh massively look at look at all this acquired through my hunts.

No, but I went out with my dad on the first hunt when I was about 10, and I hunted grouse, and he hunted deer. And so I had a little 410 shotgun, and I just, you know. The funny thing is the 410 shotgun, like, if you shot a grouse that was any closer to you than, like, 10 feet, it would just vaporize, and you never found anything. So I think I vaporized more birds than I actually ate. That was the fun part. And so that was a little bit of an ethical struggle that i had later on in life back then i was just like oh man it's cool birds go like fireworks but but my dad he he'd hunt deer and then i went uh i went deer hunting and

elk hunting and didn't get anything either time that i went when i was a teenager and then after that i was like no i don't really feel like hunting anymore my dad still did it all the way through probably his his uh early 40s and then he even got kind of burned out on it because he went out in the woods out in eastern washington and got lost for like three days and almost fucking died oh that's and then yeah that ruined it for him oh that would that would make it for me that would be like oh we went and fucking do they found you hunting oh you weren't hunting trippy killed a deer i went on one and almost died three days they searched for me yeah no no we thought he's we thought he was dead like the did you find him and he's wearing like a bear skin he's gotta

gotta okay i'm just gonna go on record and say my dad isn't the smartest man that's ever lived like he set me on fire twice as a kid we'll get to that but uh but no he uh he ended up using his shirt to wipe his ass when he needed to take a shit for three days and he almost died of exposure because of it because he's literally out it was literally out, it was cold at night. It was like he was getting down in like the 20s at night. So he literally ripped up his long johns and used them as toilet paper and almost fucking died of exposure. Man, that was...

How dumb do you have to be? I would have gone for... I mean, I imagine there are leaves in the forest. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. Well, I don't know. It's winter time. I get to see asking him about this and him being like, oh, you should have seen that shit, though.

Dude, every week, you call the source. You've got to wipe it right. If I didn't wipe well, every bear in the county was going to fuck me. The trees were bare by the time I got to my home. My dad lit me on fire twice. Like, by throwing the same thing both times. Threw gas in a campfire, lit me on fire, and then threw gas in a fucking furnace in the house and catch me on fire second time i was like you know what i'm just not gonna stand next to dad anymore when he's making fires like he just sucks at it

and it took me two two lessons of losing my eyebrows and having crispy hair for a month i want to go hunt i've been watching a bunch of hunting videos lately and i don't really care what kind of hunting i go do i want to go somewhere and shoot something, though, and kill it and eat it, for sure. Or at least take its head back as my trophy. I don't know what I want to do. I showed you that dove hunting thing the other day. I'd love to go do that. And, you know, there's also some travel in it. Like the New Zealand red stag hunt,

obviously you get to go walk the Trail of Mordor and see the fires of Mount Doom and then go shoot some deer, some red stag or there's this weird sheep thing they've got whose name I can't pronounce. And then Argentina, they have those crazy dove hunts where they have millions of doves on 1,000 acres or something like that. And we were watching the video and the guy was like, this is Jerry. He's going for the high score of 4,285 birds in a day. It's 10 a.m. and he's going for the high score of 4,285 birds in a day.

It's 10 a.m., and he's got about 1,200 in now. And you see Jerry out there. Nelly just, ka-ka, ka-ka, ka-ka, ka-ka, like a goddamn machine just destroying it. Street sweeper just, zzz, zzz, zzz. Some guy with one of those clicker tools. They're watching him, like, keeping track of this record. And I was like, oh, my God, there's a high score. Like, yeah like yeah yeah that

gets me pumped collateral collateral i don't mind hunting i just don't like when people hunt in danger shit collaterals happen in bird hunting and they are just as like crazy of a moment as if you were you know sniping in a video game it's like whoa two for one two for one like you know a lot of things happen have to happen for two birds to cross paths simultaneously while you're leading them and everything to go right to make that happen. And that's an awesome moment. You get two for one. Or if you get three, you know, shotgun in the States can only hold three shells at a time for sporting purposes. So, like, if you go boom, boom, boom and get a triple, that's also kind of a milestone.

That's as good as you can do, right? Is it? I thought it was five on the shotgun. They're capable of holding that, but you put a tube in that restricts that down to three. Is that for all kinds of hunting? That's for all kinds of bird hunting that I know of. I recall having a Mossberg growing up, a 12-gauge that held eight shells. Did it have an extension on the tube? It did have an extension on the tube.

It ran the full extension on the tube. It ran the full length of the barrel. I remember it looked like it was two barrels. Okay, yeah, because I remember to hold eight shells because we used to take that thing up and just call it the stump disintegrator. Just put double-aught and just bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, just blow the stump to shit, you know? Go through about 100 rounds until there was no more stump left.

And in South America, I would imagine, you know, there's no tube limit or anything. So I would take my Benelli Supersport, put the extension on it, and I would have that thing holding 8 or 10 or something like that. What about a punt gun? Have you ever seen those enormous shotguns? Take down blocks of birds at a time. It's just a cannon. It's just a super large shotgun cannon that you have to have a stand for it, and you can't hold it.

And you just kind of aim it in the vicinity of where birds... What's the shell like? It's not a shell. It's like black powder and just stuff it with a head or whatever. Punt gun with a P? P-U-N-T gun. They're massive. They're like the length of a boat. They're like 10, 12... They would mount them

on boats like a cannon and you could fire and if it was like one of those giant flocks like Kyle was talking about, like in the thousands, you could kill dozens if not hundreds of birds in one shot. Aren't they a black powder weapon, or do they use a shell?

They would be a couple different ways of doing it, different models, but they use them for ducts primarily. I think that's what they're talking about when you hear stuff like two gauge. Well, no, those are like elephant big game guns oftentimes. I mean that's what they're talking about when you hear stuff like two-gauge. Well, no, those are like elephant big-game guns oftentimes. I mean, the barrel on this thing is like this.

Yeah, and it looks like a shotgun. It doesn't look like a cannon, like a metal tube with a... Right, it's got a butt on it of some kind. It looks like a human that's a different species than us and is like 10 feet tall. It looks like his goddamn gun. While you're talking about it, I'm showing pictures

to the... You're probably seeing this. Every other picture is like a dude getting it rested on his shoulder. Like, you do not want to be the fucker that has to be in the middle of the gun with it on your shoulder while your buddy's shooting it. I don't think there's enough ear protection in the world to save you from that.

It shoots over a pound of shot at a time. The average one. A pound. A single shot could kill over 50 waterfowl resting on the water's surface. Yeah, very important. The diameter is two inches. Hey, Kyle. How much

is a punt gun? That would be illegal. The problem with a punt gun is you would have a destructive device, I believe. Because the barrel... No, with shotguns it's different. It would depend how the ATF looks at punt guns in particular, to be honest. You'd be better off getting yourself a black powder cannon, which would achieve all of the same stuff and more.

But it wouldn't look like a gun, though. It wouldn't look like a gun. Well, it's not like you can wield it like a gun anyway. That's actually true. Yeah, I can't even shoulder my fucking It is already so not sporting to use this to kill birds. If you wheel a black powder cannon out there, that's even less sporting.

Not just for the actual use on birds. Those things, those punt guns were outlawed because they're so unsportsmanlike. That's their story. Whenever you read about a punt gun, it's like, and they were outlawed because of the waterfowl. They use them for ducks and stuff. Like they said, while they're on the surface,

that gives you an idea of how unsportsmanlike this was. They're sneaking up on a bunch. They're paddling up to ducks that are just resting in a swamp or something and blasting them with a small cannon. In all bird hunting, that's like colossally looked down upon, right? Like you don't shoot birds unless they're flying.

So, yeah, yeah, yeah. Some young birds don't fly, though. I know a couple of grouse that met their match in the grass. Hey, I was eight years old, though. Leave me alone. Yeah, I only knew that because I went to school with someone. We were like young teenagers to call it 14 who shot a bird on the ground and he still felt bad like he was at like a resort type

thing and everyone kind of got on him about it who cares all right so no but the distinction that i was trying to it's it's not that you it's a faux pas necessarily shoot one while it's in a tree or a power line or when it's already lit to the ground or something like that i'll blast him i don't care but but the deal is that like with traditional waterfowl hunting you would already be there lying in ambush and they would come in a few at a time and so just the very idea of paddling up to them and they're already there and blasting with a cannon cannon is it's just not even hunting you know it's not hunting but back then it was like i imagine because this was like they started they were using these well over 100 years ago. Like, it was the 19th century.

I think that's why we have that anymore. A lot of these people were probably like, alright, we gotta go out and we gotta get food. And so hopefully we can get 30 ducks with this single shot. And then some asshole being like, that's not very sporting of you. You're shooting this many ducks. How many could you possibly eat? No, when it's food, it's a different story. I have a family and I need to kill these ducks.

I really like the idea of shooting different animals with way too much firepower when it's legal and not unsportsmanlike. For doves and stuff, especially in the US where they're not a nuisance species, they're a game bird,

I put three shotguns. First of all, you obey the rules because if you don't, you go to jail or get fined. But I put three shells in the gun and I wouldn't want four or anything like that. But if I'm shooting pigs or something, like if I'm shooting a nuisance species that were there and it's more about eradication and controlling population numbers,

I really want to shoot those things with my.50 cal or like a.8 lapua something that's going to absolutely blow their prairie dog hunting with your 50 cal yeah yeah i want to vaporize larger animals you know like like it's cool to see those those prairie dogs vaporize when you hit them with a 223 but what happens when you hit a baby pig with a 50 cal the same fucking thing what happens when you hit an adult pig with a punt gun? Let's see. I've seen deer shot with the equivalent of that. So like the

highest order of that that I know of having happened is people shoot deer sometimes with the 20mm Anzio rifle. It's a bolt action 20mm rifle. By comparison because of metric and standard, a 50 caliber bullet is 12.7 millimeters.

So this is a 20-millimeter round. Much more powder, much bigger projectile. The weapon weighs about 100 pounds, and it's seven or eight feet long. It takes a real man to carry it around. I can't shoulder it, not even close. And when you shoot a deer with it, it turns it – it cuts it in half. It turns it inside out.

Like the exit wound isn't round as much as it is like flesh torn away, like the back of – you know, when you shoot paper and the paper tears away, that kind of shit. How do you get deer out of the woods? Drag them. Yeah, you just grab them by their feet. They're not very – Yeah, I mean, but they just wrap a rope, right,

run it through their tendon on the back of their leg and just drag them. I usually go the other way. I usually wrap something around their head because the fur is going all the direction, right? Like, the fur is going down its back, so I want to go with the fur and drag them that way. If you've got a long ways to go, you gut it right there and get that out, and you could even shoulder the thing. We usually do gut it there, and then we just put the rope over our shoulders and just drag it. You don't fire themman carry the deer out? No, you get blood all the fuck over you and shit and ticks with Lyme disease.

That makes sense. I don't know. That's, untrained Woody would have done that. Like, all right, I learned how to do the fireman's carry. Well, most of the deer in Washington were actually pretty big. In Western Washington, the deer are pretty large. Yeah, yeah. We don't have that problem in Georgia.

Our deer are much smaller than yours. So like, you know, you're not carrying out, like, 180. Yeah, you'd have to be like Andre the Giant to, like, shoulder your deer out of the woods or really start it. Yeah, yeah. Most of the deer that we drug out of the woods, you know, I'd wrap a...

My dad would wrap a belt around its antlers, and we'd each grab a handful of that belt, and we'd start walking together, you know, to wherever we had to go. Hmm. Usually wasn't all together you know to wherever we had to go usually wasn't all you know mile tops how do you feel about spear hunting that bear we kind of changed off that I'm a hundred percent on spear hunting any fucking thing if you go that primitive you can do whatever you want that I I think it's okay I think it's okay as long as it's in a sporting context I think I'm baiting the bear to get it to a predefined location so some fucker could throw a spear at it i think that was that

was kind of a dip dick move it's like you're gonna go hunt the spear go fucking track it i think that's how they hunt bear i i don't know anything about bear hunting though i really don't there is a zero percent chance we never followed any of the proactively tracking a bear if there is an option to put you know a pecan pie Down on the ground and just wait with my spear in hand safely. I'm gonna take that Situation it changes it for me if it's a food situation like if I need food I don't care we shot a deer 24 times with a 22 long rifle eat the fucking thing What if you are all we have for now? I think in this case this guy is like a renowned sportsman, and he's into primitive-style hunting.

Do you want to watch the video? I feel like we're talking about it a lot. We might as well watch it because you can see what's going on. I'll pull it up. Yeah, I'm totally fine with spear hunting. Like, if you kill an elephant with the spear, I don't quite care for it unless it was one of those shitty elephants that they're trying to get rid of because it's like chasing off

the young males and ruining the tribe or whatever they talk about. There's always one. Did you know about that? That's a real thing where like when they sell the rights of like, hey, you want to come kill an elephant for a quarter million dollars? They'll go yes and then they'll put them on an elephant that's

like one of the super old males that isn't breeding anymore but still won't give up control of his herd and won't let new males in. And so they'll sick him on that one. So they'll kill that male, and then all the new males will get to procreate. I thought that was interesting. I didn't know that. They kind of worked it in. Ethically, I don't want to kill an elephant.

But if it's like an old elephant, it's going to die anyways, and it's preventing them from breeding new elephants, then I guess you could kind of ethically justify it. And if you can make $100,000 for some dick that thinks he's just killing a random elephant, and instead he's killing an elephant that would have been cold anyways by nature. And, and that $100,000, that $100,000 isn't lining the pockets of some jerk, right?

It's going to the further conservation of this species. And there's not a lot of... There you go. I will agree in that situation. But there's a lot of shitty situations. I tell this story a lot, but God, it just makes so much sense when you think about it this way. I know a guy who has a big live game ranch

in Texas. They have many exotic species that they keep and preserve there for the purposes of selling their lives to people who come and hunt them. And on the outside, that can seem kind of shitty, right? The thing was, there was this one specific type of antelope. There are many, right? You watch enough Wild Discovery, there's all these pronghorns of different kinds. I don't even recall the name, but they passed this law that, hey, no longer can anyone sell

hunts for this semi-endangered animal in the US. You can't do it anymore. So you know what they did? They slaughtered every one they had. They slaughtered the whole herd. They exterminated them because why would you dare on your game ranch have an animal that comes along with it with a penalty

for shooting it? Now all of a sudden, there's good guys and bad guys mixed in out there in the animal kingdom, and if you hit a good guy, we lose our fucking jobs. It's like, um... You know when you do a shoot in a simulated building and it pops up it's a mother holding a baby and it pops up

it's a guy with a ski mask. I've heard that were mothers with babies all of a sudden, so they just slaughtered every single one of them. The act of selling the hunts for them had created the world's largest herd outside of the wild because here were people who were taking the

money that's paid in and putting it back into a place for the animals to live i feel like there's just not enough something similar might happen to cow if suddenly you couldn't eat cows in the u.s i don't see them doing well on their own they would be all they would all be slaughtered there'd be no point to wasting money keeping them alive yeah i i don't see cows out there competing with the other animals and such uh no i'm already video do you have a stamp too yeah I time stamp did I believe it's gonna we might have you know 30 seconds of light build up all right so I'm at 335 you guys ready yeah ready so the way Jerry do you do you do you have the video open at 335 I I will here in just one second. You know we...

Yep, I got it. Ready, set, play. I don't see any bears. That is a gnarly spear. That looks like a shovel handle. He's on the ground. Yeah, oh yeah, he's on the ground with the bear. Oh, he's got a GoPro and a spear.

Oh, this is cool. Oh, I'm totally in favor Provided this Good videography we can kill anything. We don't eyes black bear. That's that's a big black bear Then my favorite kind of you can on either a man gets mauled by a bear for being an idiot spear hunting He threw it so hard Wow big that spear is and how heavy. BAM!

Oh man. Oh it broke off by the tree. Big damage, it broke off. That tree cantilevered it to the side and sliced the fuck out of his internals. Look how scared the guy is. Oh, I'm sorry, he's not scared the guy is. No, he thinks he's on. Oh, I'm sorry, he's not scared. My mistake. He's not scared.

He looked like he was getting ready to run if it came at him, but no, he was excited. He's a big dude. He's so happy. Yeah, this was not his first attempt. They kept seeing him and running. And I'm guessing if you put the video up on his, it's gotta be a license claim, right? Oh yeah, he paid for this, this is 100% legal where he is, top to bottom.

This guy looks like one of those tough Eastern European, Armenian kind of guys. He's stoked. It's like he just won a championship. Yeah, like who else has ever done this? I drilled him perfect. That was the wrong some people just get really amped up with hunting I mean when I was a kid I

got pretty excited about the hunt kind of went away I didn't do it for me anymore that's a thing like when people kill a deer or an animal usually for the first time they'll go over there after they were hunting and they'll be like right next to what is it called Kyle like the deer fever whatever fuck fever yeah like so like your adrenaline is so high because we're human beings who were like meant to hunt and kill animals and the first time you do it you're like shaking because your adrenaline is so high like oh my god that was so awesome every time i would bow hunt every single time i saw a deer while i was bow hunting and i and i was in a position to kill it it was pounding pounding of my heart like Like I've never,

the kind of pounding that you get when you're like with a beautiful woman and you're getting in her panties, the kind of pounding in your heart you get when your car loses traction in a corner and then you recovered at the last second in the gravel, the kind of adrenaline bump you get when you get to the top of that roller coaster

and you just decide, you know, if I could nope out, I sure would right now. You get that. And it's maintained the whole time and you can feel yourself become stronger than you've ever been because you have a weight system right in front of you in that compound bow that takes 70 pounds to 50 pounds if you're weakling to draw and like in practice that that 60 pounds or whatever it is would always be yeah and I got it. In the tree stand, it was so effortless.

It was like it came back on its own, and I was steadier than I'd ever been in practice ever. And when I released the arrow, I could see the fletching on the arrow wiggle a little as it left. It's just there's so much adrenaline you're operating at the peak that your body can operate. And then if you actually succeed, ah, it's just the best thing ever. Now you have it right fucking here. It was out there wild and alive. And just using some primitive tools in your brain like you beat it. I love bow hunting.

It can go the other way too because I watched my dad miss seven shots with a.308 with an elk 50 feet away because he was so jacked up. I was going to say, Cal kept focusing on how he's at his peak performance, but sometimes that adrenaline can work against you. Sometimes it's a little better to be the coolest, clear-headed version of you. It takes the first few times, it definitely did work against me. I feel like I missed maybe the first three deer

I think I shot at. I didn't kill and wasn't able to take. I wounded one, and I missed the other two. No, I missed. I wounded one, and then my position was given away by bullshit a couple times. They'd hear me or see me or something. They're crafty. But this guy with the spear, I don't know if you want to skip forward.

I did actually. You can see the aftermath. Yeah. The tip on that spear is gnarly. So the guts are hanging out. He fucking destroyed this thing. You can see the aftermath. The tip on that spear is gnarly. So the guts are hanging out. He fucking destroyed this thing. That was incredibly impressive.

But yeah, his wife loses her Under Armour sponsorship just recording the thing. Big public outcry and the whole thing. And I just didn't understand that. It's a goddamn bear. It's not Yogi the Bear. He's not out for picnic baskets. It's a predator. I don't understand the big love for bears. don't have it yeah he is a shit well i okay i'll play devil's advocate to that because i love animals i do i'm an animal lover but at the same time i like to eat them so i'm like i

ride that fine line it's like i don't want an animal to suffer i understand like like when you hunt with a gun you know i try to take the cleanest shot my dad always tried to take the cleanest doesn't always work out that way but you know you try to take the cleanest shot and it's like with a with a spear, you can't be that precise. I mean, he actually was pretty damn precise with that, but still, the bear didn't just drop, right? If he had hit it in the right spot, that bear just would have been collapsed

game over. So there is some suffering involved. That's the part that I don't like about it. That's the reason why I don't hunt anymore. If I have to bolt gun, I'm good. But all the food we eat is is is gained that way every right i mean you're not a vegetarian i certainly am not you know like like like every being a veggie like like you go to the slaughter i've never been to like an industrial

slaughterhouse but i've been to like where they like a like a small one where we had a cow one time that went crazy and and like was trying to It went crazy. It had to be killed. It had lost its mind. We're like, what are we going to do with this thousand pound chunk of meat? We took it to a place and had it processed. They dragged that thing up by its back legs and slid its throat. We just brought them a dead cow. The way they slaughter them, that piston, and then they cut their throats and everything. Everything we eat is derived that way. There's a level of suffering every step of the way. I mean, life is suffering.

I'm going by what I learned in Old Country for No Man. But No Man for Old Country, I don't even know. But that's a pretty instant kill, right? It's as instant as you can possibly get. I got both wrong. What is the movie called? If you use it right. No Country for Old Men.

I would have totally struck out. It wasn't my third guess. If you use it right, but I'm sure there's old trained people that fuck up all the time. No country for old men. Yeah. Alright. I would've totally struck out. It wasn't my third guess. Yeah, nitrogen was... It's the nitrogen bolt gun, right? Yeah, yeah. Which is basically using like a thousand PSI of nitrogen to drive you.

I wasn't saying that it's painless. I was saying that it's gory and it's visible. So I feel like people see a little gut hang out of this bear and they're like, Oh, the poor thing. It died within three minutes. No, no, once I'm dead, I don't care if I'm worm food. It's just I don't want that to be a suffering thing. I don't want the animal like when we had to kill the deer with the.22

long rifle. Now I understand why they don't want you hunting deer with.22 long rifle because it took 24 rounds and tracking it for a mile to take it down. And this is a long time ago, right? And it was a bitch to clean too, man. We were like chewing on bullets from that thing for like weeks. But we had, we needed it. We needed it and we took it. But it to clean, too, man. We were, like, chewing on bullets from that thing for, like, weeks. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. But we needed it.

We needed it, and we took it. But it's like, yeah, that animal suffered, like, terribly. And I think that part, that kind of stayed with me, and that's what made me not want to hunt anymore. But it tasted like shit, too. Oh, no, it was not good. It was a lot of it we had to throw away, too. Because we didn't nick the bowel. Technically, we should have thrown the whole animal away but we couldn't afford to yeah Christ almighty

I honestly don't care about like a little suffering from the animals it's just part of fucking living and dying is going to be some suffering and to ignore that is dishonest and that's the thing is I'm not talking to you I'm not talking to you specifically but if you're going to put on camouflage and get your high powered

rifle and go climb up in a tree and not you anyone just know you're going to kill a if you're going to put on camouflage and get your high-powered rifle and go climb up in a tree and not you, anyone, just know you're going to kill a thing. You're going to take its life with violence. This isn't euthanasia. You're going to blow its internal organs off, out. You're going to put a gigantic hole in it, and it's not going to feel good no matter what. So when I see the guy with the spear, what I think is if he went out there with a rifle, he could have slaughtered every bear within sight. Every bear within sight could have been his with a laser, he could have slaughtered every bear within sight. Every bear within sight could have been his with a laser beam rifle,

but that's not what he did. That bear had a chance. As much of a chance as it's ever going to have against a human being who's out there to face it. I feel like he gave the bear a chance. He could have missed, he could have wounded the bear, the bear could have killed him. All those things could happen. If you gave that bear an option, if it had the

cognizance to understand what you were saying, and you said beforehand, bear, you're going to be hunted today, but you get to pick the weapon. Do you want your hunter to carry a spear, or would you rather he have one of those magical boomsticks that killed Uncle Yogi? And the bear would be like, I'm absolutely ballable spear.

Clearly spear. I've got a fighting chance thing. Those monkeys aren't that strong. He would pick that. Even as a Like, I've got a fighting chance thing. Those monkeys aren't that strong. But he would pick that. Even as a human I would pick that, right? If you had the option to pick somebody engaging you with a weapon that can kill you over 300 yards that you'll never see them or a spear that you could presumably step

to the side if you're aware of that. Smell that motherfucker. Right, right. That's actually an interesting perspective. That's not a perspective that I would have looked at. So Kyle, I've seen headshots on people before, like Iraqi snipers and stuff like that, and I'm almost shocked at how quickly they go from alive to dead, right? They fall straight down.

There's no movie scenes, et cetera. So Kyle, when they shoot them in the heart, is there a similar kind of instant death? Like if you shoot properly, no? No. It's not instantaneous because the brain keeps on working without blood for a little while. There's enough blood going for it to sprint out that last little bit. The way I drop them instantly, I shoot them with a shoulder blade.

And I use a high caliber rifle I always have, bigger than I need. Like a white-tailed deer, especially in Georgia, like I said earlier, it's a small animal. An AR-15 will cut it. Especially if you're a good shot. And I, you know, I don't know. A hundred and fifty. Even the.30-30 is a little too small. That's what we hunted with was the.30-30.

And yeah, you'd come up on the deer and the deer would still be there. And you could tell the deer was not dead. It wasn't there, but it wasn't dead. But like I hunted with a 7mm Magn magnum for years with 175-grain bullets going fast. I'd shoot them with a shoulder blade, and they'd fall over dead right there. I'm sure they were laying there for a second going, oh, God, what was that? But then they died. Well, if you get the shot right, it's instantaneous.

I've shot them in the heart. I've shot them in the lungs, you know, but they just won't drop instantaneously um and people often ask i was talking to chiz about this the other day about headshots he's like ah he didn't even shoot him in the head and i'm like well you don't shoot him in the head like like it's a really small target for one thing uh and if you miss a little like i've seen deer where their nose is blown off now you want to talk about you want to talk about animals suffering and and the byproduct of hunting that's a nasty thing. It's people who don't know how to fucking shoot and or

aim at their head for some goddamn reason and they'll blow off the end of this picture of deer, the end of its nose and so the tongue is just kind of hanging out and it will live like that so long. You don't like to see that kind of suffering. I always just

shot them down like instantly I don't I had one deer ever run farther than you know three feet or something like that and I was shooting off the hood of a truck and It was raining and it was 380 yards, and I blew the bug deflector right off the hood of the truck It was pretty funny day, but uh, but deer. It ran into the woods and died. Oh, you never found it? I do. Oh, I found it.

The pain thing. I understand why some people might not like the spear thing, just because if you don't know that much about hunting, it's much more brutal to someone who doesn't have any experience out there. People who have hunted pretty much every one of us, all of us have hunted a good bit. Like you see it a bit differently.

But if you have no experience killing animals, like your only thought is going to be, oh, spear. That's barbaric. We have guns now. And you don't even consider the thought that Kyle just said of like, yeah, you know, these are the same people who think you should go for a headshot and you're going to blow one of its eyes out. And it's going to starve to death four months later after just trying its best to get whatever little leaves it could fit in its mouth or whatever they do. But yeah, you guys are speaking from the perspective. Oh, wait. You guys were saying if you're going to be hunted and you're a bear, you'd absolutely choose the spear. Right. You have a fighting chance. You guys were saying if you're going to be hunted and you're a bear, you'd absolutely choose the spear, right?

Because you have a fighting chance. But what if I changed the question and said if you're going to be executed, how do you want to be executed? I bet you wouldn't pick the spear, right? Sure. But if it was a fight, it wasn't an execution. The bear had a shot the whole time. If that bear had been on the ball and hadn't been like, oh my god, somebody put a bucket of berries in the middle of the forest. What luck! What luck!

Berries? There could be nothing nefarious about this. Like, if he had been on the ball and had paid attention to what happened to Yogi and Smokey, he wouldn't have been in that boat and he may have killed that guy. I can tell by watching that video that bear has been around people before because there was no way. He was not hiding. He was

in plain view on the other side of that barrel. bear has a sense of smell like a dog it knew he was not no you're wrong about that because they they they set everything up with the wind you know they know which direction the wind's going they're bear hunters but but they if you watch the whole video no it couldn't he was hiding behind a tree the whole time if you watch the beginning of the video it shows him failing a couple times like like he's he's behind the tree and he leans out and a different bear is like you're a fucking person and just splits like you put these berries here i've watched a good bit of bear hunting 140 he pops his head up though and looks and he kind of sneaks back behind the tree and the bear looks at him for just a second and gets back down but

you're right i don't think the bear because the bear out of seen him it would have ran yeah but they don't really know what they they're seeing unless they see your silhouette From the tree their vision and the way their brains work. I don't know about that. They have great smell though And I'm sure it could see him from that from that range if he was outside the tree because the other bear saw him there So usually when I see bear camp like we got out of the tent the black bear just look at you like what? Okay, I'm gonna just walk back into the woods. Fuck you usually when I see bear hunts though Like I'm usually like god damn it Did you have to do that to the fucker? You couldn't give him a fighting chance?

And then I see this one, and I'm like, yeah, I think maybe that's how you should have to do it. Because I've seen that video where there's, like, a bear in a tree, and they fucking shoot it with crossbows and shit until it falls out. Yeah, no, no, that's right. Or they tree them with dogs. They, you know, they shoot them with high-powered rifles while they're up in a tree.

Like, I don't like that kind of predatory hunting there's there's different kinds of hunting too right you know if you're hunting for it predator hunting to me is a whole different kind of hunting and i have a different respect level for the animal i'm hunting than if i'm hunting a deer or an elk or a moose or something like that isn't there like a constituency that thinks bow hunting is a little cruel i i don't know because a lot of bow hunters aren't as good as they need to be and they don't get the same kind of good kills that i'm not hunters do i just heard i kind of feel like it could be the same thing with guns though as i know a lot of hunters they go out for their first hunt doesn't matter how much they trained leading

up to it once they're there and their hearts racing and shit they're blowing holes through their antlers and shit and killing their friends, putting holes in their truck. We saw a guy do that. That was pretty funny. He shot his own truck. That's a big deal, too. Like when you're – I don't want to circle this around to paramotors,

but I've had bad landings when I was first learning because I was stressed. I was in the yellow, and I wasn't the best version of me. If you were to put me in a hunt, I don't think I'd have the same marksmanship i would when i shoot paper i've been in competition does on the first one yeah so all times i went hunting deer and elk i missed both times and they weren't probably i i would say exaggerating maybe a hundred feet they were close oh yeah and they were close to me like that was a sure thing i did a quarter in paper you know at 100 feet and get all the time you want and no stress.

It was close enough that my dad could hit it at a dead run when I missed it when it was standing still. Like I took the shot. It took off running. My dad took the second shot and got it. So I was like – so I had to be pretty damn close. So Kyle, you don't think bow hunting is – aren't there people who think of it as bad? Well, my friend's a bow hunter and he loves it. Is your name Kyle?

Is your middle name, Kyle. I just don't know. You're going to have to tick time out or raise your hand, one or the other. So I haven't really experienced that, but I don't think I've got feelers out looking for it or anything either. I'm sure. It is more barbaric. If you just look at the tools at hand when you look at them, and that's the point, right? It's called primitive hunting.

If you just look at the tools at hand when you like look at them, and that's the point right it's called primitive hunting At the end of those arrows those broadheads the ones that I use there are two blades You know inside the broadhead like this and they're held back with a rubber band That's sort of up here like this and when they hit they fan out and they fold out two razor blades that are combined Across them like two and a quarter inches two and a half inches It cuts the heart in half if you hit it. It cuts the lung in half if you hit it. They're dead fast. But you shoot them in the ass, of course.

It's incredible suffering. It's terrible. And I hit one of the ass one time. It felt terrible. I'm on this whole website. It's called bearsmart.com. It says the Get Smart Bear Society. Now, the title makes you think that it's a group of industrious bears who apparently

have square space, but it's not. It's people dispelling bear myths. And I didn't know this, a lot of these are stupid, where it's like, bears are unpredictable. Fact, bears use body language and vocalizations to show their intentions. Not to any discernible measure, you idiot. No they don't, they don don't go get out of here i will i will counter that a little though because i grew up around black bears i grew up we we had as many black bears we had deer where i grew up in uh kids up county up in washington and the black

bears were actually pretty smart critters they would come around and get in the garbage cans and when you came outside they would stay their distance but he keep going through the garbage cans but once you got about 20, 25 feet away, they would back away, and then as soon as you started walking back, they'd come right back to the garbage cans. Keeping their eye on you. They're not dumb. I'm not saying they're geniuses, but I'm saying they are

smart enough to know that, listen, if I don't let this guy get any closer than 20 feet, I'm reasonably sure he's not going to be able to hurt me, so I'm going to keep munching on this garbage. And my dad even went out, and they are kind of dumb. My dad went out and wailed on one with a broomstick We thought it was he was gonna get killed It was a small one is probably 150 pounds and my dad's over there just wailing on it with a broomstick And it's just like yeah, yeah, it would it wouldn't give up on the garbage can like it was like

Like literally did not care and we're sitting there just waiting for my dad just to get mauled by this thing. But no, it was just whining and kind of bitching about the situation. And my dad came back inside and then it went out and got the garbage again. My dad went out with a 30-30, fired a shot in the air because it was too small. He didn't want to kill that one. If he's going to go kill one, he's going to kill one of the 300 pounders. But they did seem like they were relatively smart, especially the moms when they had the cubs around. The moms would be really, really cautious with the c cubs around like if you came outside and saw a cub

you were like get your ass back in the house because the mom will fucking tear you to bits if you get close to her cub and so but but if you just found one that was like a male or it wasn't mating season oh shit you could just you could chase them they were scared shitless of you like i've done that yeah as a kid like 12 years old i'd see a black bear but come here black bear run after it that's like this thing could eat me and it would just be like fuck kids chasing me I'm out like up because they know they're like that looks exactly like all of the other things that have killed all of my pair friends right and I know that when people fuck with my little cousin bear cousins and cubs yeah you know the mom get pissed yeah

Taylor can you start I'm on to your dead you're like it wasn't worth it it was okay I told the story before we went hiking on the John Muir trail in Yosemite and before you do that you buy a pass and then the Rangers teach you how to deal with bears and basically just make a lot of noise bang pots together stuff like that and uh it's somewhere on YouTube like it's on video of us chasing bears away it was for was it was it for black bears because I think brown bears are more aggressive right like brown bears you make noise and shit and they're gonna be like okay I don't even know they distinguished they're like if it's a grizzly though like they're less apt to get scared away, get your distance.

But this wasn't that. And I wasn't single-handedly. It wasn't just me. There were 15 other people like, go, bear, scat, bear, get out of here, bear, banging things. So I just joined in. Dude, I had a bear sniff in my tent once when I was camping. Literally, its nose was pressed against the tent while I was sleeping. And I woke up, and I thought it was a dog.

I thought it was a dog because you could hear that. I'm like, oh, okay, dogs tell you this. I sit up in the thing and I whack the side of the tent. The thing just goes postal, does a burnout, runs through the camp and I unzip the tent and I see it and it's up in the freaking tree. Really?

I thought it was a dog. It was a smaller one. I think it might have been just that year. It was probably just born that year. But yeah, I walked beside the tent and that sumbitch went right up the tree. And they just sat up in the tree for like an hour going, ehhh. Ehhh. Nothing else ever came. No other black bears came.

And then eventually we just walked out of camp, came back, it was gone. So it just waited for us to leave, came down out of the tree. Did you know that bear spray is actually not a good idea, apparently? Oh, really? Why? Because if it gets on the ground around your camp, bears are attracted to that smell. Because they're like, oh, that smells kind of peppery. That smells like it could be food. Because after it's settled on the ground, it smells like a spicy, peppery dish that you might be eating.

I didn't think about that. Is that from your website? From bearsmart.com? It's from bearsmart.com. They're dispelling a lot of myths here. It's like Tabasco from a distance. It smells delicious. Then you get a little too much of it,

and you're like, fuck. Don't put it in my eyes. But they don't get upset about too much Tabasco the way we do. We'll just make another meal. They'll take a bite and just be irate because it's just scented leaves from the last bear to wander in so So keep it always bring a gun don't bring bear spray. I didn't read the entire tip Bears can't run downhill no somebody said it's myth number two for some reason that means a lot of people believe that bears can't run downhill

and i'm like you hear it all the time that's i mean that's that's why uh it's because of the bear the bear altitude paradox you know over the past couple of decades they find that all bears are slowly migrating to the to the highest areas in there because they'll accidentally take five or six steps up the hill and go, fuck, can't get back down. And so the rest of the family is like, all right, well, just don't forget. Like, we can't go any higher. And then eventually someone does. They have to keep going up, ratcheting.

It's a real problem. Ask any park ranger. It throws off their inner ear. Are you saying in 20 years the peaks of mountains aren't going to be white anymore? There's going to be bears and mountain goats. That's going to be Planet Earth 3. And now here you can see at the top of mountains aren't going to be white anymore. Just bears and mountain goats. That's going to be Planet Earth 3. And now here you can see at the top of Mount Everest the last remaining bears.

You know, unfortunately unable to run downhill. I've heard this about bulls. I've heard bulls are particularly good at running uphill because their legs are different lengths. And I didn't even question it. It had to do with the running of the bulls in Pompeii or something. And I'm like, oh, well, that's good to know. I guess bulls are good at running uphill.

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Casper mattress is awesome. We bought one like two, three weeks ago for my son. And I genuinely like it like sometimes i go to his bed instead like when i want to read the computer or something just hang out you like dig your elbow deep into it and the mattress is like i'm cool with this i'll still be comfy it's uh it's nice there's no worry of warping with it i sleep on it every night and it's one of those mattresses you can tell i can sleep on the same side of it, you know, for two years. And then if one day I decide, oh, I'll go to the other side, I won't be like, oh, that other side got worn out. You'll just be like, no, it just feels like the same bed. So can't recommend it high enough. It's where I do all my sleeping.

Yeah, I agree 100%. On the thing about like wearing a hole in your mattress or like a low spot, like I've done that on every other mattress i've ever had because i like to sit up in bed and watch tv like i like to chill in my bedroom and so i'm always just sitting right there on that same spot where i sleep and it's like shit i can ruin a mattress in a year but this thing is showing no signs of that with a memory phone loving it yeah good stuff casper well i've never slept on one but it's named after a friendly ghost so awesome

It is Anyone else to tell us about right now Kyle or I get it. It's what we'll do it a little bit. Okay, let's spread them out I Mean I'm always game to talk about bears for two more hours about bears for two more hours. Well, the reason I brought up- The topic I have saved is politics, and I don't even know how I feel about doing it. Not even funny enough to- Alright, well look, the reason I brought up bears is I wanna go on a hunting trip.

Like, is anyone else wanting to come with me and kill some animals? Yeah, sure, as long as we can eat the bear. We'll eat it! Look, killing animals is wrong. If that is your caveat, we will eat whatever we kill. But I wanna go kill something with a gun. I want to go eat this thing.

I'm not interested in hunting, but I would love one of the steaks. That's all I'm saying. So if you want us to eat a bloody steak on camera to justify your kill, I will do it. Absolutely. We'll send you a steak. I love gamey meat. I love eating deer growing up. Some people eat deer and they're like, fuck, this is gamey.

Like, you know, if you don't marinate the shit out of it but no i actually kind of like the gamey taste like it's not bad i do too like it's not the most delicious taste but it's not bad it's just but it's nice to have on occasion right it's kind of like it's one of those things just kind of nice to have once well because like i'm eating a deer it's like and it's a reminder of like oh i didn't go to costco and buy some cow meat that some guy in Iowa raised. I killed this and then skinned it and then seasoned it. Plus I grew up eating it. I ate more deer than I ate beef growing up as a kid because we just hunt on the 60 acres or whatever.

The watershed behind us, I don't think that was legal either, but whatever. So I posted on the subreddit, and we talked about it last week. I was going to prank phone call Jackie this week regarding the pool, but she had kind of a rough week, so we're going to postpone that and do that next week sometime. As long as she has a happier week next week. Yeah. I guess I'll cover that instead of just tease it.

Yeah. Her mom, my mother-in-law, fell and broke her hip. People don't know. She's 77, and she's battling cancer. She's sort of staying with us while we do that. And just Tuesday night, there's a step that, like, it's just a single step. She didn't know it was there. So you know how you take that, like, hard step when you don't know?

Well, if you're 77 and you're in chemo, which weakens either your bones or your, like, tendons. Everything. Like like everything that's if it sells it's weakened yeah um it can be more dangerous so uh so she broke her her leg and she may have broken her hip too actually she's walking the next day she was well the next day she had surgery so the day after the surgery she's already walking uh she's held together with some pins she She's going to rehab, and then she'll come back. But that is why we didn't prank call Jackie. Kyle accurately figured out the timing on that was wrong. I did not pull a wings redemption.

Like, call her up on Thursday while they've been up until 4 a.m. She's been asleep for, like, six hours. Call her at night. Hello? Hi, I just want to let you know that pool's not going to cut it. No, it wouldn't go well. Like push her over the edge?

It's a little cruel. The kinder, gentler PKA. Well, if it had been anyone else's wife, I'd have went for the blood, right? I'd have been like, no, actually, it's okay with those mineral deposits as long as no old people get in the water. Now, if you put any old people in that water,

man, have you seen Cocoon? Because the opposite shit will happen. The exact opposite thing. Just crumble into dust. Dude, I watched like 12 minutes of the last PKA I was on like three years ago and I just turned it off and I was like, oh, I remember that now.

That actually was a weird experience because everybody thought I was like Wings Replacement or something you guys had me on because there was something going on with him. it off and I was like I was like oh I remember that now that actually was a weird experience because everybody thought I was like wings wings replacement or something you guys had me on because there's something going on with him and I remember like the reddit just went postal on me and I was like actually end up being a good thing I got a shitload of followers on on YouTube out of it but it was just it was a really weird thing so it's a little different this time so last time we had did you want to go Kyle yeah go ahead okay last time we had you on the channel you were kind of new to being a full-time youtuber you're not new anymore how's the experience been shitty i wouldn't

recommend it to anybody you wouldn't because it was almost a dream you were like chasing the dream last time okay hold on let me rephrase that might be a little bit harsh i do love that i get to stay at home i do love that i spend more time with my family and everything but there is an inherent stress about your paycheck changing every single day like every day the rules change every day a new platform is doing something i've had to in the last six months diversify a lot more do a lot more stuff with twitch and youtube not just putting all my eggs in one basket and since i've done that things have gotten a lot better but before that for like the first two years where i was just putting all my eggs in one basket with youtube yeah that was a real stressful endeavor that was so i would recommend

if you're going to do stuff like this full time you do not just pick one thing and do it full time. I might have worked before, but I don't think it really works anymore. I am my experience on YouTube, especially the so I did gaming and I think, you know, gaming tech reviews probably similar. If the nature of YouTube channel involves you sitting in the same room at the same desk in the dark all the time, quite likely not a normal sleep schedule right you just kind of like there's nothing holding you to any kind of schedule that it it doesn't lead towards a good mental state like it and there are a lot of people like i watched i think his name is markiplier talk about how depressed he was uh in a video this

is like two years ago and like i could just relate to a lot of what he was going through. Yeah. Because even – he's wildly successful, right? He's probably having fame and fortune that he's never experienced before. Yeah. But he's not happy. Well, you don't get to enjoy it. When you work 24 hours a day, like you said, you don't have a schedule and you're on 24 hours a day.

And you can't separate Jerry from Barnacles. Even though I'm technically – everybody else says you're the same in person as you are can't separate jerry from barnacles you know even though i'm technically everybody else says you're the same in person as you are online i don't have a character i just that's my avatar name or whatever so anyways but but you do start to blur the two together and then the work ethic starts to take over and all you want to do is work all the time even when you're just on social media you're just laying in bed or you're watching a movie you're picking up the cell phone constantly and doing stuff you never really disconnect you almost feel weird when you put a phone away for like an hour like the other day i

went to the apple store gave my phone for two hours so they could fix the screen and i kept reaching in my pocket trying to pull my phone out i was like oh the phone's not there and the watch can't connect to shit because i don't got the phone i've definitely done that where i like reach into my pocket to get my phone and i've like forgot it somewhere and then i do it again four minutes later and then i do it again seven minutes later and it's like it must be like a two pack a day smoker going out without their cigarettes and suddenly realizing like oh damn it i forgot cigarettes two minutes later oh cigarette like like it's a real addiction like yeah when i was a professional software developer i would you know knock off at the end of the day i'd get in my car i'd drive home there was a clear delineation from work and home

sometimes i would work from home like you know i'd take a day off work and just work from home remotely. But there was always this clear delineation. And once that left, it's weird, you have a bias to just always work. You never really stop. Even when I go on vacation, I find myself like pulling out the phone and shooting vlogs and taking pictures of shit and post them on Instagram. And I'm like, why am I doing this? I just want to enjoy it. It's inspiring at first, right? At first, you're like, man, there's nothing holding me back. The more effort I put into this, the more return I get from it. It's inspiring at first, right? At first, you're like, man, there's nothing holding me back. The more effort I put into this, the more return I get from it. Go, go, go, go, right?

Like, oh, my gosh. I thought I was a hard worker when I worked for someone else. I worked for myself, and there's just no end to it. Wings of Redemption was telling me that, too. Back when he made as many as 11 videos in a day, it was just like, the more I do, the more I get. Go, go, go, go. And then let that go on for a couple years, and suddenly you're like, aha, you've burnt out. This is why your employer put the throttle on you,

because he's not trying to get one year and out like people do to themselves on YouTube. Yeah. So that's your thing? You don't like it? You don't? No, no, no, no. So that's where I was coming up.

I think that opinion's changed over the last six months. Now I've diversified things. I've incorporated as an escort. I've got the right people involved to help me handle the shit that I'm just not good at. The IRS hates me. The IRS, like, every year they come to my door and want to, like, kill me because they want me to do things in a certain way and they don't understand. Well, you know.

Doing the YouTube thing, the IRS really doesn't understand how the YouTuber thing works. Like, especially when you've got PayPal and other things in the equation where multiple companies are issuing 1099s for the same money. And the IRS is like, no, this is all different money. You're like, no, it's not. It went from here, it went to here, and then it went back to here. It's the same money just moving between things. It's not new revenue coming. And so I had to get people involved that knew how to like alert the IRS to those problems so that they could preemptively handle them. But that didn't happen until two years of audits. So dealing with all that shit and constantly, it's a little bit of a nightmare.

It sucks. That's what I don't like about it. When I worked at Microsoft, it's like, yeah, I had to do my little 1040 quicken thing at the end of the year. Everything was all sorted out. I always get a huge return back. And now it's not like that anymore. It's like every year when I do my taxes, it's a big, huge ordeal. I have to involve certain people and contact certain people to put it all together. But now that I've started to take the course of creating a business, an actual business, not being a sole proprietorship and getting the right people involved, the tax attorney and the bookkeeper and all that stuff, it's actually gotten a lot better. It has gotten a lot better. And a lot of people have told me that, oh, you know, those things are really expensive. They are.

I mean, you can spend a lot of money to have a bookkeeper and a tax attorney and everything, but they end up saving you a lot more in the long run. And that's what that's some advice I would give to anybody that was listening to this right now thinking about doing this is spend the money up front and get the right people involved to make sure that everything is several hundred thousand dollars over like five years, had a channel that was absolutely amazing. The IRS came after him for all of it because he was like he was like paying what he thought he owed in taxes. And no, it didn't work that way with sole proprietor. You got to pay 18 percent extra as a sole proprietorship and you have to do some other things that he wasn't doing. And that all came back to bite him like five years later. The IRS sometimes takes time to do audits, right? The IRS might not audit you for five years. Well, they just came down on him, audited him for like three years, wanted like 200 and some grand. He didn't have shit. He was living paycheck to paycheck, having a good old time. And it just destroyed him. And so I'm trying not to let that happen to me. So I have buffers.

I tell everybody everything is a calculated risk. You know, I could live two or three years with what I have if I had to cut back, cut and run. I live well below my means, all that to take the stress off me so that I can focus on building a business. And that's what I wasn't doing the first two years. The first two years, I was like, oh, I still got all my Microsoft money. I'm just going to sell the stock and just have fun and, you know, kind of fuck off and do whatever. And that was a bad way to do that. That living below your means thing is something that many YouTubers, especially early on, like when we were all getting signed with Machinima and everything. Yeah, going nuts. Early on, nobody was living with – everybody was like new money from West Egg.

We were all got to buy a great Gatsby reference. I don't remember if it was West Egg or East Egg that was new money. But basically, people would just be like, I'm making $8,000 a month. That means I can spend $7,800 every month. It's like, you probably shouldn't. Why not, Taylor?

I need another truck. My girlfriend needs a truck too. To pretend that it was limited. Don't grow on trees, Taylor! Dammit, Taylor! So many people did that. Yeah, and I know some. That's the thing is when you get into YouTube, you start meeting other

YouTubers. You start meeting other people. And the one thing I saw is that most of them did do that. They took their fame, they ran with it, they got their cars, they got their houses, and during a downturn, you're screwed. And it's like, I kind of work the opposite way. I spend no more than a quarter of what I make. My house might tell you right now I pay fifteen hundred dollars a month for my house. You know, I got a house way back when refinanced it multiple times to get the interest down.

Front loaded a bunch of it when I worked at Microsoft just because I wanted to be able to have something that I could pay no matter what. Even if I literally had to, like, quit everything and go to work at McDonald's. You know, heaven forbid a software developer of 15 years like quit everything and go to work at McDonald's you know heaven forbid a software developer 15 years experience at Microsoft has to go work at McDonald's but I could and keep my house that was it well you're going to code the automated machines there we go I'm going to code myself out of a job just like I did at Microsoft wink uh but but yeah anyways I try to live well below my means I don't go buy crazy cars and stuff like that like I wanted to get a Tesla hell yes I wanted to get a Tesla I drove one of those things freaking ludicrous edition I had had 700 horsepower, fastest car I've

ever been in my life. I was like, damn it. I looked at it and I was like, yes, I could technically afford to do this. Like if I wanted to like dip into money from stock and stuff from Microsoft, I could technically do this. But if I do that, then I potentially take three years off my survivability if shit goes bad. I would rather have the peace of mind of knowing that I can survive long enough to recoup and do what I want versus having what I want now and risk never being able to obtain it again. So that's kind of the way I look at it. Yeah. So anyway, so I'm going to, I'm in a happier place now, but I haven't created a YouTube video in like two weeks. I just released my first video in like two weeks on my channel today. I've been doing Twitch almost every day, been enjoying that,

never really did live streaming much before, finally got really into it. And I found it, you know, it's kind of my stride. I enjoy doing it. People enjoy what I do every morning. And I'm like, this is a lot of fun. But again, the YouTube thing is, you know, Woody, it's like it's the editing is part of the creative process. You don't get that with live streaming, like to be able to tell a story, record something and be in front of the camera and then have the end result be something completely different than what you did in front of the camera through editing and everything in the perspective. That's like an addictive thing. That's a cool thing.

That's an art in itself and it's something that I really enjoy doing, but it takes a shitload of time. And I don't like doing the content crank thing. I've tried that before where it's like, oh, I'm just gonna make a video of this and a video of this and just set up a camera, record it really quick, edit it. You know, no, I don't like doing that. I like doing overlays. I like doing everything, the color correction and the audio. That part of the process but you're not you gotta you gotta go by

the right approach first of all get get 12 to 14 minutes of nazi zombie gameplay from 2013 sock that away you're going to be using it for years rounds number two rounds one through five and then when you tell a story that has nothing to do with the gameplay, you do it in one take. You do not edit it under the guise of being, quote, genuine, but really is lazy. And then you render it out, throw that up, and you're all squared away. I tried that like two years ago, though, and every comment was like ripping off Woody's gamer tag, ripping off Woody's gamer tag. I couldn't take it anymore. I would get so many comments like, is this the same gameplay again?

And then people would be like, shut the fuck up. Nobody watched Taylor's video for the gameplay. Are you stupid? I used to watch Woody's videos all the time because you could just stick them in the background. The video was of no consequence. I didn't need to watch the gameplay. I just put it in the background and just listened to it. It was like, Woody, I mean, you know

I relate to a lot of the stuff you did. You know, we both have a son who's had special needs. By needs uh by the way how's colin doing shit i haven't seen he's good he's 14 now um he's doing parkour like they do these summer camps and we just put him in a summer camp all summer and uh he's getting a lot of like socialization and stuff there but he's still not like normal you know like i i want to i think you just abandoned you just abandoned that like was i did that with xander too at seven years old all of his all of his therapy and everything has led him to a really good place but he still struggles with eye contact he still has moments when he gets tired where he just gets a little

manic um i just i've kind of written those off as just characters traits and it's like you know what that's just who he is it's you know it's who he is yeah and he's got a lot of friends i mean he's oh my god he's got more girlfriends and boy than his guy friends so i'm like yeah he's gonna he's gonna be popular with the ladies but uh but yeah no i mean it's just i i guess i kind of thought for a while that all the therapy and everything would make it a hundred percent like at some point the therapy was going to equalize and we were going to have and he's the top reader in his class. It's not a matter of intelligence. He's he's killing it for handwriting, killing it for his his math skills are right where they need to be for his age, his reading skills. Like I said, he's the top reader in his entire class and he's in a regular class. He no longer goes to a special school. He's in public school and he's just done a frickin amazing job.

But at the same time, I like I keep looking. I'm like, should work on that we should work on that we should work on that and i finally just come to the point where i'm like you know what why am i so worried about making him what i would consider normal or what people would consider normal when he's doing so good just how he is and then i kind of remembered back to like when i was a kid and everybody all the doctors like oh he's got adhd he's got a learning disability throw him in chapter one hold him back a grade do all the shit and then it's like i go on to be you know a top five percent contributor at microsoft and a decorated software developer with two awards from one signed by bill gates one signed by uh balmer himself they've given me several fifty thousand dollar check gold star awards out of band just for work

that i did in automation and i did all that because my parents didn't medicate me and they were just like boys you know kid will be a kid just leave him leave him alone just let him do his thing turns out i just didn't like school i'm a really smart guy i just don't like fucking going to school and having a teacher say you need to do this at this time like you know that's what it is for pretty much all of those young boys at least that get put on add medication it's like hey this uh this four this is a six-year-old little boy is rambunctious and he keeps running out of his seat to go play with the Legos in the corner of the class. Those are only for playtime. And so we need to put him on a weird amphetamine drug that'll ruin his appetite and make his personality dead while

he's on it. It's like, no, he's a six-year-old boy. You've made school into something that rewards obedience. Traditional school rewards feminine traits more and more so year by year. Like it rewards sitting still, getting your work done quietly, that sort of thing. Young boys are not like young girls. They're remarkably different. Young boys want to run around

and be rambunctious and they have so much energy they're spinning out of control. And so of course, if the standard is sit still and do this boring repetitive shit, little boys are going to do bad things. Did you go through a phase like that as a kid? Do you ever to dig holes oh my god i went through the dude i've done so

many holes go ahead with your digging phase so i went full i went through a couple phases i the digging phase came first and then later the lumberjack phase came in uh but but but but yeah it started with sandboxes right it was like uh, during 30 minutes of recess, I can dig a hole this big. That's pretty cool, huh? And all my friends, we'd all be digging. And then I'd go home, and I'd be like, I'd run off with a shovel. I dug this crazy hole one time with a real fucking shovel in the side of that hill. And it's still there.

You can still see that fucking hole I dug when I was like 11. Did you lay logs over the top of it and put foliage over it and make it a fort? No. That's what I did with all my holes. It's very tough. Yours were bunkers. But yeah, I always wanted to dig holes. And then at one point,

when I was maybe so fucking big, maybe like 8 feet wide, 4 feet deep, I don't know, like 4 or 5, like a pit. Like this big pit. I dug for like... Oh, a meteor strike. You know, three days of like a 10 or 11 year old

digging with a shovel. You know, just enjoying every minute of it. I wonder if it's on Google Maps. Like, you know, you can zoom in pretty good. No, you don't think so? Okay. I know what you're talking about. I used to dig the holes for my dad. The deer. All the stuff from gutting the deer and everything like that.

My dad would always put it in bags. He'd be like, oh, go bury that. You know, because if we put it in the garbage cans, the bears and stuff would just tear it out. So we'd go and bury it. So I'd just go dig the holes and throw that stuff in and then just put the dirt over top. So it was probably like, you know, 20 deer corpses buried where I grew up. Yeah, I would get in trouble for digging holes in the yard. They're like, ah, don't dig the holes in the yard.

What the fuck? And then I like got into that. For some reason, i got in this like maybe i watched um george foreman like some video about him and he was chopping down trees to like train for his third comeback or something like that at like 42 and uh and i remember and he was like oh yeah it raises your testosterone levels and and and i get aggressive when i chop the tree it's like chopping a man and he talked this this workout program up. And I was like, fuck, I got an axe.

And I started off, honestly, with a hatchet, though, if I remember correctly. And I was out there. And I really enjoyed it. I was like, oh, I cut that whole tree down. That was kind of cool. It's something that at the end of it, there's an accomplishment because a big fucking tree falls. And it's kind of cool to watch a tree fall down. And so I got in this thing.

I'd go to the woods and chop trees down. And then dad was like you chopped all my god damn trees down we only own like that strip of trees why don't you go cut their trees down i never missed a tree he's like i only got like 80 trees and you chopped down five of them i can't say i've ever chopped a tree down with an axe but i I did my grandfather was a professional lumberjack before he went into the military. So he bought the house that I lived on growing up was actually an old logging yard. It was completely cleared.

The clearing, they just built a house on it. And my grandpa bought the land after they logged it way back in like the I think it was the 50s or the 60s. He bought it and put the house on it. And so we used to go dig all the alcohol bottles, like the really old whiskey bottles and stuff because they'd just throw them in a pile and kick dirt over them or whatever. So we'd, we'd take those out and go sell them at the antique shop. But anyways, my grandpa, when he retired, still loved doing the lumberjack thing. So we'd, we had wood burning furnaces in

all of our houses. So he'd come up there, we'd chop a tree down and I'd go help him with the, with the axes, you know, splitting the logs into the, you know, he'd take the rounds, cut them with the thing, throw them over there. And then it'd let me take a whack at him with the splitting mall. And I love doing that. I absolutely loved it. But that's something I just don't do like where I live now in my life. It's like, there's no place to really just go outside and split logs. It wasn't so much a lumberjack or a hole digger, but I like starting fires like that.

Oh, that is not a good dance. And so I was a boy scout and they taught us how to start fires a couple different ways. TPs, log cabins, whatever. And I like so much of Boy Scouts just bored me to tears except the fire shit. Like that just captured my imagination. And I would take like different friends like let's go into the woods and start fires and shit. And they would like after they see like the size of the fire that i like to make they'd be like they wouldn't come back i need

new audience members to come and watch me start the next fire and it was just something i really dug as a young kid did you guys ever use a magnifying glass to burn ants oh yeah let me tell you what i did okay so my grandmother got a new big screen TV when I was like eight or something like that. The old big screen TVs that were like a box or something like that, the front panel is a goddamn magnifying glass. That whole plastic front panel. This thing

was like 40 inches wide. It's the television. It's got the lines. You could hold this thing up and it would insta And, you know, it's the television, so do the math. Yeah, it's got the lines. It's got the little lines around it. You could hold this thing up, and it would insta, like, just. Death ray. It got shit so much hotter than any magnifying glass.

It was instantly smoking shit. It was like those super high-powered lasers and stuff. Dude, I was laughing when you said that because I had the same thing. My friend had a big-screen TV. It fell out of the back of a truck and broke all over the road. And that lens was sitting there, and I was like, yoink. I grabbed that to go home they took it away from me and I remember

to this day as a 31 year old man I'm thinking like what'd they do with it where is it right now because back then they locked it in the tool shed and their backyard and I was like ah filed away I know where that fucking thing is now

grandparents yeah that was Arch was the death ray that you had those bastards were killing ants with it my whole digging phase was like like it was it was one of those things where like you almost get in a trance you know like you know there's no reason to be digging this now first of all i did not live in a rural area like kyle and so i was just digging in my parents backyard like not in not in a good looking area like it was clear that like i was out there every day after school for a while and for the first couple days it's like well i'm glad taylor's outside doing something instead of playing his pokemon game boy game but like day four my dad had to be like what is he doing out there?

What's he been doing for four days from like 3.30 in the afternoon to 8.30 at night went out there and it was just a catacomb of just so much because I dug the hole down a ton. It was probably seven feet wide, seven by four feet by like three or four feet and i like i was trying to like tunnel like like and keep the the ground in in in place there because obviously i'm a child i have no idea the structures needed to maintain a tunnel i just think well the ground stays where it will you know i'll just make the tunnel and minecraft like there's nothing more like confusing in your head than when your dad and mom are like, Taylor, why did you ruin this part of the yard? Why did you dig this hole?

And you're just like, I don't know. These are capital improvements, Dad. I don't know why I dug this hole. It's like, what were you trying to do? I don't know. I just wanted to keep digging. It's like that scene from Close Encounters of a Third Kind when he's just stacking the mashed potatoes higher and higher.

I don't know why you're doing it. Yep. What are you doing? Have we all seen that? If you haven't seen Close Encounters of a Third Kind with Steven Spielberg, man, that's a great movie. That's a real good movie. Did you guys make lots of weapons as kids?

Like, did you go out in the woods with, like, string and duct tape and knives? There was a little bit of that when I went to a friend's house. But at home, I had real weapons. But I remember we went to a friend's house one time, and they had, I don't know, grinders and a basic tool shed sort of thing. And we all made medieval weapons. One of us had a flail-type thing with a spiky thing, and one of us made a bullshit sword. And the idea was that when we got all of our weapons, we'd have a ninja battle. But we were smart enough as like nine-year-olds

to be like, this ain't Nerf, guys. I don't really, I don't want to fight you with what I made, to be honest. I don't want to hit you with this. And that doesn't happen anymore. I really don't want you to hit me with that. Like, we don't, parents are different nowadays, like at least where I grew up.

Like, I remember growing up, like we used to play BB gun wars, and my mom would just come out and be like, you put on your glasses! It's like they didn't do shit. Not even full face masks, just wear some sunglasses. And we're all like, hey, the rule's only two pumps. Only two pumps on the daisy. And your buddy would always come over with the one that's like a one-folder, put it three inches into your flesh.

I used to pump that multi-pump one. I would pump my multi-pump pellet rifle, and then I'd get tired, and I'd sit in the corner and watch some TV. I'd come back to it later. I don't think I'm getting more and more velocity. I'm sure it peaks

at some point, but as a kid, I didn't know that. I'd pump that thing for days, and then I'd wait until the dove or the big prize fat bird bird landing on the power line i'd be like today's your day motherfucker like you have no idea how much horsepower went into you want to know a sweet trick with those that we learned is the uh the one that you're talking about the one that has a wood handle right and it's the long barrel you just put one pellet in it and then the back and you just pump it way up the the one i had had a multiple capacity and you pulled back a little thing here and yet it like cocked back and one pellet popped into the chamber and you closed it and but you could pump the uh like okay that's a

little different many many times like the pump was out on the fourth of it and it was well we discovered that with ours if you put it in the oven and you put the oven on 200 and you just set it in the oven for a little while and wore a glove and picked it up you can fire a thing it'd be like a 22 long rifle so you just pump it up like six or eight times then you put it in the oven and just heat it up like 200 degrees pull it out with the gun just pull the trigger and the thing you'd get this massive plume yeah smoke out of the front like a musket too how did you wait how did you discover what went into this oh my i'll bake the germs off this dirty gun like what no i think no no i think the the thinking that came out of it was we used to have an air compressor and the air

compressor got really hot when we turned it on like the air compressor got really hot we just associated oh man the air comes out of here really fast when this thing gets hotter and hotter and hotter inflating which had absolutely nothing to do with it yeah yeah but we're like shit i wonder what happened if we heated up the the gun i am sure shit it worked amazing uh and the best part was the seal the seal held up i don't think the seal ever died that thing yeah i don't know exactly how those things work i wouldn't a rupture just seems impossible right it would have been funny if that thing grenaded in the in the about 200 degrees we didn't leave it in there forever we put in there for like a minute or two once it was preheated so it didn't sound like it got up

to 200 degrees but still that would have been funny if it blew. My pellet gun experience was always bad. As a kid, I knew that firearms were dangerous, but I didn't have the same respect for the pellet rifles and BB guns. None of us did. So I pointed at my sister or something. Not like I was going to shoot her, but just like I would be careless with it or something. And my dad would like insta-solve that problem. He would solve it in.5 seconds.

He would grab the barrel of that gun from it and smash! And it would just shatter into a billion pieces. And he'd go, that's what happens when you treat it like that. And he'd throw that motherfucker away. And he broke like three of my pellet rifles over the years. Every time I mistreated, he'd shatter that son of a bitch. I learned my lesson, you know. A lot of respect for those things now. Well, they got a pellet gun after the third time. Yeah, Taylor of a bitch. I learned my lesson. A lot of respect for those things.

I got a pellet gun after the third time. Taylor has a point. I'll be right back. I'm going to take a piss real quick. I got a pellet gun a few years ago. I was really excited. My gun collection was super small. My father-in-law gave it to me.

I didn't know why. I just know that he gave it to me. I'm like, oh, this is going to be cool. I show it to Kyle. I'm like, Kyle, check this thing out. I got a new gun. And he looks at it and he goes, yeah, you know, if you're not careful, you could wound a bird with that. That's how I knew my gun sucked.

And it turned out he gave it. No, it doesn't mean it sucks. It means it's fun. It's a plinker. Like, I had the same. I didn't have a pellet. There's a difference between a pellet gun and a BB gun. I didn't have a pellet gun.

I had a BB gun. I don't know which it is. But it was the same pumping thing like that and it didn't kill anything but it was i mean you could if you caught like a dove in the eye he bought it to kill like squirrels or groundhogs or something that was bothering him in his land and uh his problem was like he'd spot one so he started pumping pumping pumping pumping pumping and they'd run away and he's like i gotta get a one thing always made noise and so like that the rabbit would just hear like i'm gonna have to leave in the next 30 seconds or so if this doesn't stop i'm out of here

i killed a lot of stuff with my pellet my bb guns and pellet guns over the years for those who don't know the difference that like my b BB gun was a Red Ryder. It cocks like a lever action. It could kick one cock. You could fill the Red Ryder up with BBs. Just fill the barrel up with them. It holds like 100 or something. So as a kid, you could just walk around all day, cock, shoot, cock, shoot.

And you can learn instinctive shooting really well that way because it's incredibly cheap to shoot because bbs you buy them in like a milk carton and just pour them in like pour them in there so i started with those i killed plenty of birds with just the red rider one cock um but then i got the the multi pump that was a bad motherfucker it could definitely kill like a squirrel uh because the pellets are like conical projectiles and the bases of them are shaped like kind of like a half a cup so they uh catch all the uh you know the 177s yeah i yeah i didn't have it i always had 177 and then the um the co2 powered pellet rifles are on another level like you kill a rabbit with that thing it's shooting quite fast i don't know exactly but i'm gonna guess 700 feet per second maybe 800 and then the top tier of the pellet rifles, I think,

is the ones that kind of break in half. And they break in half. There the chamber is exposed. You take your pellet, put it in there, break it back together, and those will shoot like 1,000 to 1,200 feet per second. And if you're into air rifles, if you get into them, they make them so you can hunt with them. Go on Amazon right now and look up Bulldog.357.

You can get a.357 caliber air gun off Amazon for about $700 or $800. You can kill a man with that motherfucker. You can get a.50 cal now. Yeah, yeah. Of course, you know, people hear.50 cal, and, you know, it depends on the grain of the projectile. Like.50 calibers, you know where it is. But I've shot a lot of those things. They use the compressed air.

Like SCUBA compressed, like 4,000 PSI. Yeah, crazy. Yeah, more like paintball, like the carbon fiber ones that they use from that. They usually take one. Yeah, it's 3,500 to 4,000 is paintball pressure. Yeah, they move around. But it's got a regulator on it, so it's coming out at a steady, whatever, 300 PSI or something, whatever they use to juice up those guns. You get quite a few shots shots too don't you with the big rifles you get you don't you get like 10

or 12 shots i think oh i didn't realize it was that bad but it's from a container this big you know they use the really small profile bottle so the bottle's like this the bottle fits inside of an m4 style stock so like an m4 ar-15 stock. The bottle is inside of it exposed kind of skeleton style. And this thing shoots a large projectile, good enough to kill a deer or a boar or something. And it shoots it hard and accurate. They're very fun to shoot. And then they make a shotgun that shoots an arrow. They make it, it looks just like a double barrel shotgun, how it breaks down and everything. But this, maybe it didn't break down down but they shoved an arrow into this thing and it shoots an arrow incredibly accurately every time and with air and it's just bang and you're like shit that fucking arrow hit bullseye at 30 yards

like like this this thing's fucking cool so air rifles are something i'm kind of interested in i i'd like to take one of those to a hunt that'd be it that'd be me um i think i think these are legal in like england and the uk and stuff right like that's the only kind of weapons they can yeah they're not classified as firearms like because they don't go by in the uk second or whatever right well they're not firearms you know it's fucking compressed air they go fast uh i don't know it seems like a significant oversight you know like so to black powder pistols look at look at the legality on black powder firearms in general like like you just buy that shit like it's a can of coke one of those black powder pistols

for reals like they don't care you're eight i think it's 18 might be 21 with black powder depending on the state but but like they're not treated as firearms you don't do the same paperwork you're like yeah i'd like that uh black powder pistol all right here you go you got ten dollars and they're cheap as fuck they're cheap as fuck like $200 like do they shoot hard like you think kill it's like depends what you want to do right like like so there's different kinds of black powder too um i killed a deer once with a muzzle loader uh like a primitive muzzle loader um and there's i've fired a muzzle loader before they're very fun is there a big delay kyle like like small it's really small and it depends on the firing mechanism where you're

using uh um like caps uh which are very much like primers uh or you're using uh if you're going crazy with a flintlock that would take even longer for like that powder opening charge flash pan to get going and get everything going but even with the modern one with the with the cap and you know the hammer hits the cap it fires fire down a little tube it ignites a cylinder of black powder that you've placed in the in the chamber and the bullets in front of it and it's like snap spoon snap spoon there's a there's a quarter of a second delay between snap the trigger pull and boom because as guns were evolving sometimes there was like a i could be wrong on this but like an entire second or more right and you really had

to oh the flint locks were bad just like the fizzle the powder and the match locks as well um all of the yeah you had a you had a little flash pan full of powder that's exposed and uh those old guns they had like a burning little wick and it when you pulled the hammer came down and just touched that wick to your pile of burning powder there and it's and then ran goes down in and has to build up you know black powder is a slower burning uh propellant than smokeless powder modern smokeless powder for sure so it's has to build up that powder that that that power for the shot to happen and you can hear it it's like a i keep doing it it's this hiss that you hear it's like snap boom it. That's it. It's

perceivable but in a way that you'd never notice with a rifle. And is that what it was like 200 years ago? I'm probably wrong. It's much better now. This is what you know. No, it's better now. No, I fired the cap style one and it was pretty instantaneous. Like I didn't even really notice the delay. It was like a hammer going down. Just bam and it was gone. 200 years ago, how long did you have to stay on target did it take like three seconds I don't match locker flintlock pistols they were using wheel lock those uh I'm just on the 200 you oh go ahead maybe I should let you finish this one here I'll link you though the He's like Wikipedia, and you're like, you got this.

Yeah. Oh, I got... So, flintlock was what they had before, or matchlock, rather, is what they had before wheel lock, apparently, and that's the one Kyle's talking... or you're both talking about that just had that fizzling little just fuse, basically, as you were waiting a few seconds for it to go, or a second, at least.

Wheel lock... Kyle, do you have one of these? This is the one that i picture like pirates carrying because this was around like 400 years ago or so like where they'd carry like six of these in a bandolier and get like six shots off have you ever shot one i have uh not like this but i have a black powder pistol that's uh these are black powder too yeah but i'm saying'm saying that I have a black powder pistol. Mine uses the percussion caps. You have a little nipple that sticks out,

and the cap goes over that nipple, and then when the hammer comes down, it hits that cap. That's how mine works. So that's a fairly modern design, I would imagine. Much more modern than... Yeah, the one I fired was the same way. Yeah. There is a noticeable delay that i can notice but but

it's not massive and i think the farther you go back where to answer your question the more the delay is going to be and that definitely takes a big toll on aiming because you have to shoot it and wait a second i've shot a lot of different guns that you had to wait a second for a number of different reasons like like bigger stuff like like like cannons and shit sometimes it takes it it's like that story from that guy from Vietnam where he fired the artillery round and it went boom like sometimes you get that

when I shot that 20mm Anzio rifle I shot it, they're like sometimes it takes two seconds to go off so don't let it go snap and then come off the weapon, you might have a bad Czechoslovakian round or something and I'm like, alright, so I would go snap, and then come off the weapon you might have a bad czechoslovakian round or something i'm like all right so i would go snap and then i would just

because this thing kicks harder than anything that that i'd ever dealt with like it's moving 100 pounds of weapon back with incredible speed and force like it's not like i've shot elephant guns and shit and and they hurt, but, like, this thing made my shoulder click for two years afterwards. Like, it was... There's no joke. I shot a prone.

Did you see that gif of Richard Ryan on the Reddit front page maybe last week? Yes. Do you think he shouldered that thing tight? So here's where my mind was. There's no doubt Richard Ryan knows how to fire a gun. That's not what the question is. But he was, like, before he shot it, he was like's like i'm gonna see if this thing takes my shoulder off is it

possible he shouldered it kind of loosely so that the slow-mo would pick it up i think um so when the slow-mo is like that you you catch a lot of stuff that you you might not think is there so even with a regular rifle you'd have seen like a lot of stuff that you did you probably wouldn't normally see if it was like fast shotgun i don't know what he was shooting there i didn't like that right off man yeah it reminded me a lot of um this guy that that richard and i both know in common and we'll ask him next time we have him the show this guy named dangerous bob out of uh like the southwestern u.s who's an independently very wealthy guy about five years older than me who's a pyromaniac explosives nut he just likes blowing shit up and shooting

big cannons and he builds his own guns basically he takes like a 20 gauge shotgun and then he he has a foundry and a forge and all this shit and he creates brass shells that will now fit into a 20 gauge shotgun and then he fills that brass shell up with that much powder and then he just puts a big fucking bullet in there that weighs a whole shit load and then he just puts it in the gun and shoots it and sees what will happen. He's making these like crazy weapons. And so like I shot a couple of them and, oh, they kick so hard. Like five times harder than a deer rifle.

Like a hard hit that you worry about, like that leaves a big bruise with smaller bruises within it. And it's just incredibly sharp. It goes from zero to hard just so it's the speed i i don't know how else to describe it so if he was shooting something like that like i i i saw that the the title to that was like what happens when you underestimate the recoil of a gun i don't think that's the first time he shot that gun that's richard bryan we're talking about right he is like a dangerous a dangerous weapon. And Richard's a big boy. Yeah, that's true too. Richard's going to handle recoil better than I am.

He's just a bigger framed man. So I would like to talk to him next time he comes on and figure out exactly what that gun was because I want to shoot that gun. I'm in a 950, like a 950 JDJ. That's like the biggest rifle there is, right? There's only like one of those, right? That's the thing about these like large crazy caliber rifles that you see in internet videos and stuff It's just one guy who has a gun store who was like let's make the 20,000

So like people are getting these arguments on the internet like I Shot the most powerful gun in the world no no I did and it's like well shit like if you want to change the classification Of your rifle to a pistol and then say it's the most powerful pistol like I guess I guess you win. Or if you want to go and, like, manufacture your own bullshit gun in your garage, I guess you win. But let's set some standards here. Like, that's the most powerful handgun production made. And then there should be a whole new class for your bullshit shit you're making in your garage that might just take your hand off one day. Dangerous Bob doesn't have all his digits, just to be clear. It is a publicly sold round, though.

The 950 JDJ was created by some guy named JD Jones. Is it? I think you only made one of those, though, right? There's a ton of them. If you go on YouTube, there's multiple different guns if you go look on YouTube right now. And the round looks comical. It literally looks like a cartoon.

Like, the bullet's like this big around and then the tip on it doesn't even really taper down that much it just comes out as this bulbous freaking bullet yeah there's quite a few there's quite a few of them on here actually i think they're all shooting the same gun though not actually that 24 let's see this one's got a marbled front grip hold on let me click on the other one this one's got a wooden grip this one's got the carbon fiber looking grip or what about a nitro express the 700 nitro express you fired one of those oh that's the one in the

youtube video from like 10 years ago yeah where it's a bunch of like oh i i was i remember one where they're all wearing like uh pakistani or indian garb or something where they have like those long like white whatever the hell. And all these guys are holding this gun like someone who has never held a rifle before. And the douche who was filming it did not give good instructions. He's like, yeah, you want to put your shoulder on it

or don't, whatever. I think he didn't give them nothing. He just handed it to them. And so many of them, they would pull the trigger and it wasn't even like the kick. It was when the gun just like Yeah, explodes out of their hands and just is behind them now Well, yeah It goes over his shoulder and hits the door and about shatters the the window out of the door because it like flips up

Over his shoulder and they added it to be like how Iraqis versus Americans handle firearms and stuff It's sure there's Iraqis who shoot every day Yeah After your buddy that like because there's Iraqis who shoot every day. You gotta have some balls, though, to shoot that. After seeing your buddy do that. Because there's multiple guys doing this, right, in this room. It's like, after seeing the first guy shoot this, I would not be the next guy in line being like, alright, my turn. I would. I'd be like, oh,

well, now I know how to shoulder it. I'm gonna look that much better following him. Yeah, you're gonna be, like, leaning forward like you're in a hurricane before you can pull the trigger on that. Yeah, yeah, right? Pull that shit in tight. Feel tight. I would want to go next after that guy because I'd be like, okay, if somebody else

goes next and they fucking dominate this gun and it's just 300 yards away and they handle it fine, then I have anxiety. But, you know, slippery Pete hands over here who just doesn't have sweaty palms like I'd rather go after him he made now yeah when I saw that

video when I saw that video I really wanted to shoot it because because I I'm really I'm pretty good at hanging on the guns everybody complains about that 500 Magnum and I've just never thought that was it feels like it's slapping your hand but I'm not gonna lose it I can shoot one in each hand no problem I can pop pop yeah I've done it I'm gonna afraid of lose it. I can shoot one in each hand no problem. I can pop, pop, pop. Yeah, I've done it on video. I've been afraid of firing one. That's the one that's got the muzzle break on it, right? Some of them do.

I've shot a few different ones. They come in many different configurations like all guns depending on how much money you want to spend. I've shot the long barrel ones with big fat hole grips on them. I've shot the short barrel with compensators and wood grips on them. It feels like you're getting slapped in the palm by someone holding about four inches

of a belt. It's like, ow, I felt that, but boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I might try now because they do have it at the indoor range that I go to. It's like five bucks a round to shoot the damn thing. It absolutely is. When you let go, you'll see that fucking ring of fire.

It's a... The concussion from the guy shooting it in the stall next to me made me stop what I was doing. and you know when you let go you'll see that fucking ring of fire it's uh well the concussion from the guy shooting it in the stall next to me made me stop what I was doing like the thud to my chest was like whoa everybody else was like pow pow the fuck that shook me yeah it like took the air out of my lungs

those things are cool the only.50 caliber thing I've ever shot is a.50 caliber black powder rifle, which, like Kyle says, .50 cal doesn't mean.50 cal for everything. It's just an enormous ball that you put black powder in there and you fire it. All that that means if someone says.50 cal

is that the diameter of the projectile coming out of this weapon is half an inch. That could apply to anything from your black powder weapon that's shooting a little half inch lead ball at 6 or 7 or 800 feet per second, but it also applies to a 50 BMG

that's shooting like a 700 grain round roughly, you know, thousands of feet per second for miles of distance. They're both of distance you know there's they're both 50 caliber rounds what's important is how much that round weighs what it's shaped like and how much propellants behind it i'd like to try a 50 caliber pistol i've never shot one i feel like that i'm scared of them i'm like straight up like i saw a dude shooting and i

was like no the uh the 50 action express is nothing um if you want to shoot what is that is that a revolver is that it's a desert eagle that's that's what that? Is that a revolver? It's a Desert Eagle. That's the one I have. It's my Desert Eagle's chambered in.50 Action Express. I've got a.44 Magnum barrel that I put in there if I want to plink. It's funny to say you're plinking with a.44. Yeah, you're plinking with a.44 Magnum.

Your idea of plinking is a little different. That's an expensive plinking session. You want to talk about an expensive plinking session to shoot the.50 Action Express. I had to go get a guy to make mine, and I think he charged me $2 a shot, and as long as I bring the brass back to him or something like that, it's an expensive bullet. And that's the problem. That's the downside to doing that. A 50 Action Express, a 500 Smith & Wesson Magnum, guns like that are cool to shoot for a weekend.

They're cool to rent. They're cool to borrow. But you don't want to drop $1,200 on this big hand cannon that hurts you when you shoot it and cost you twice, three times what it would cost to shoot a 9mm. It's just silly. I went to a friend's house, and he had the.500 Smith & Wesson, and it was on his coffee table. And at the time, it was like, the fuck, why would you have this giant hand cannon on the

coffee table i realize now that's all it's really good for letting people know that you have it right you don't want to play it shoots six dollar bills you know so only five of them too breaking this out at the range you're right you recognize this what are we looking at i don't know it mp5 it looks like uh looks like a 22 caliber mp5 clone it is it's the german sports gun one that got banned in the united states from import heck yeah i see the shit out of them yeah i made mine fully automatic before all that happened it's a fun little gun but when you break it out of the indoor ranges they get a little weird like they know they know it now my range knows it but the first two times i took it out the range bastard like ran over like

what the fuck you doing boy you can't pull that out here because it was indoor range. You don't shoot pistols only. And so he's like, oh, what are you doing pulling out this MP5 here? And I was like, do they make a non-full auto version of the MP5 that you can buy? Chambered 9mm? Okay, I didn't know that. I didn't know that, but yeah, he's like running over. He's like, you can't shoot that. I'm like, dude, it's a.22.

Those are the only rifles you're allowed to shoot on my indoor range is if they're.22 caliber. So I was like, no, dude, it's.22. He's like, oh, that's pretty cool. But apparently they're banned because caliber. So I was like, no, dude, it's.22. He's like, oh, that's pretty cool. But apparently they're banned because of this. The silencer. It's not a silencer. It's a frickin' barrel shroud that drops it by like half a dB or something like that. Insignificant.

And that somehow violated some law. I think it's ATF's weird about that, but it's kind of a common sense thing from my point of view. If I were ATF, it's like, god damn. You're telling me that you're making a completely legal little.22 bullshit gun that for all intents and purposes looks like a couple thousand dollar machine gun? I can't tell because you can't tell by glancing at that thing that that's a faux suppressor. That's what I usually call them.

I remember when I bought that thing, I was like, look at this piece of shit. The magazine didn't have the visible spring on the side or whatever you you wouldn't know just looking at it yeah um fully automatic it spits out those like i don't remember what the magazine holds 20 or 25 it spits them out instantaneously it goes and it's empty that's awesome yeah those things are neat i like 22s a lot. Let me do another advertisement here. It seems like it's just about time to tell everyone about MeUndies so they can get those amazingly comfortable underwear because there's simply a reason we've been telling you about MeUndies for months now. They are simply the softest and most comfortable underwear you'll ever wear.

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oh, it's one of the white pairs. Oh, it's one of the blue pairs. No. Each individual pair has experiences and stories behind them. I remember that confetti pair of underwear. I got laid wearing those. Those are lucky underwear, goddammit. I go by the shit stains personally. That's how I identify them.

Ah, that's the one I shit in! Yeah, I can tell. No, no, they all have a stain. It's just like a song, right? You hear it, you sort of remember the things that you've done, who you dated when that song was popular. Yeah! I didn't wash these, and now I regret this. What's that pair that has the moth holes on the left butt cheek? Does that even happen anymore? Everybody talks about moths eating your clothes. Who's keeping clothing?

I did growing up, but that was because we actually had moths. I can't even remember the last time I saw a moth. Are those even still alive and around? We have moths, but they don't eat my clothes or anything. That seems crazy. I have moth balls being a thing like my grandma like oh yeah get those moth balls in there and old people like apparently they they repel snakes so i just remember like she'd be she'd have those things every fucking where old people are so scared of snakes they're just you smell the moth balls when you went outside like there was everywhere to scare the snakes away i think

those rats just chewing holes and shit and people blame the moths because it was always the clothes that we had in the attic yeah and they'd be like rat holes and and everything you pulled out and all the clothes have like little holes and stuff nibbled in them do we want to go can we go back to this maggot foot whenever taylor gets back or do we not want to do that trying to scar me for life Do we not want to do that? Are you trying to scar me for life? Vinny, what did you say? I said, are you trying to scar me for life?

You think that's going to scar you for life? A little maggot? I've been on the internet for a while now. We haven't even broke out the dragon cocks yet, my friend. Bro, I've been on the dark web. You've been on the dark web? Is that like Amazon Prime Day? I believe the dark web believe that's a pretty dark web i said that's no no like tour i know it's just the web but it's unsearchable right that's the dark web and then there's something else there's two it's not indexed and it's anonymous it's like because the way

they balance everything off of other people's computers without them even realizing it it's really slow though it's not it's not a practical thing it's like because the way they bounce everything off of other people's computers without them even realizing it. It's really slow, though. It's not a practical thing. It's like one of those places that you just go to visit because it's like so taboo and everybody's like, oh, shit, the dark web. You can go buy drugs from Silk Road on the dark web and be like, okay, well, I want to go see for myself. I ain't going to order any, though, because I got to ship them to my fucking house. And, of course, if it comes to my house, somebody's going to know it came to my house.

So I don't know how this even works. Like, I was curious. I was curious. I was curious. I get all my child porn off there. I was just wondering. Is that where you go to get yours? That's the best place there is, right? I used to use LimeWire.

I used to use LimeWire. You remember LimeWire? I remember LimeWire. I remember Kazaa. I remember all that shit. Kazaa, what was that? Wait, wait, wait. Was that what was kazaa was the one that like started it all that napster napster napster which is still around today the company i think it's been like real restructured like a million times but isn't that funny the legacy of napster is basically like the

peak of piracy the absolute peak piracy in the world. It was the best. Napster, so for people who don't know, Napster organized the torrents. And better than Pirate Bay, better than anything, there was a central place where you could know where all the stuff was. And it made it so nice. Now it's all decentralized, so there's no one in particular to sue or deal with.

It was great. It was like all of a sudden one day they flipped a switch and everything was free like all the media was free and and and this was a time when there was no like youtube even to go to for like free content it was like if you want to watch something you're going to sit through a commercial uh you're going to sit through you know if it's a 30 minute program you're going to sit through eight nine minutes of fucking commercials or you're going to plop down some money up at the uh the video rental place or something like that and then all of a sudden napster was like shit we got

all the movies for free bro you got 12 hours to download this shit like everything what was it uh the pirate bay stepped in after napster fell out and they were the next centralized source and they were like haha we're in a country that doesn't have extradition fuck you united states and then like fast forward like what was it was it, like 10 years? And they finally got them. Like apparently they got the extradition and they did actually close it down. And like, I think they got two of the three guys. I don't know if they got the third dude yet.

But I was like watching some documentary and it's like, yeah, they thought that they were completely free because the country they were operating in basically said that what they were doing wasn't legal. United States did enough bureaucratic shit that they managed to get them to overturn it. Back in the Napster days when the stuff was new there was a real debate over whether or not it was stealing right do you remember information wants to be free as if it was like sentient and and had its own wills and desires well that sounds like something solid arguments there yeah there was that guy is the guy from acdc who was like the biggest guy railing against it metallica metallica thank you mars olrich i think yeah he did not care for that

shit one bit he could tell but there was some something to the argument and and as a kid i definitely because i was 14 to 16 i'd say during the heyday of this stuff um or at least the period we're discussing like there was something to be said about people saying like nah i i bought this green day cd and now i want kyle to listen to it and so i'm i'm just loaning it to kyle and as a kid that made so much sense to me like i was like yeah i and even as a kid like my intentions were i i just want to like make a cd and put it in my in my car and now i want to be able to listen to Green Day whenever I want but I don't want a Green Day album after Green Day I want Johnny Cash because that's how I roll you know I want to make my own little

mix CD of all my favorites and that doesn't exist out in the world and so it just didn't seem like a bad thing we were doing I see it now I guess and then it became that you couldn't share video games in the same way like now you can't just give somebody an Xbox One disc and be like yeah try this game out for a bit and see if you like it.

It's like you used to just be able to do that. Like remember that commercial when the PS4 was being released and they were like, this is how you share a game on the PS4. And it's just like him handing it to the other guy. And everybody's like freaking out like, oh, oh, that's the way we do business, not the Xbox way. We don't do it where we have to download it. It's like you guys are fucking applauding this guy for saying you can do what you want with something you bought like that should be something that we never got rid of like if i buy you know halo i should be able to give it to a friend and let him play it for a while like i wouldn't be able to play it in that time because i don't have the disc anymore you know like i just

i didn't like that whole moving away the whole transition to digital has changed a lot and how i feel about all of that drm also drm was the big the big thing that shifted my opinion now granted i was one of the biggest pirates in the world back when i was a kid it was mainly because i grew up poor i mean fuck we were killing animals in our backyard to eat them that's that's how poor i was so everything all the software i had was all pirated off bulletin board systems and shit but it wasn't until later in life that I actually started realizing wait a second you know I'm a software developer I work at a software company it's like once you drink that corporate kool-aid and you realize that's how that company got to where they are you start to realize oh shit you know this is this is actually bad to steal things but on the flip side it's like loaning things selling secondhand market

all that stuff still made perfect sense to me and then they went after that too and that's what they try to take that away from so many things yeah like the second don't buy games you lease them yeah you lease them now you don't buy if you read your steam agreement your origin agreement it basically says fuck you as soon as we go out of business you don't get any of your shit and you're cool with that yeah i didn't know that was how it works yeah they don't there's no there's no physical copy you have a product key but what are you going to do with that product key? Without activation through the Steam platform, you have nothing. You think they're going to go and unlock

all those games and free them? Go free my games to every single person that's ever downloaded it. Have them be free. No, they can't do that. If Valve ever goes under, your entire library is just gone. We better hope another company at least picks it up and keeps carrying the torch. There's so much money involved.

I don't worry about that. I feel like Valve has got it going on, right? I play a game for like three months and I'm like, I'm never going to play it again. That's where I was headed. I've got a bunch of Valve games and I'm not playing them right now. Valve went under, I'd just be like, meh.

Whatever CD I bought in 1985 1985 if that stopped working yeah i haven't listened to it since 1987 it kills collecting though that's the one thing that i do like is i because i'm i'm a little bit of a retro gaming collector i'm not like big on it but i've i probably have like 16 or 17 consoles a lot of old computer systems like apple 2e's commodore ti-99 4a texas instrument all this shit from my childhood that was like stuff that I couldn't afford growing up. I acquired it later on, right, as my collection. And I love the cartridge games.

I love just the physical snap in a cartridge. Hit a button, no fucking updates. You don't have to connect to the cloud and download four hours worth of updates to start your game. You don't have to authenticate with the server to play SimCity. It was just something pure about that experience. And I think that if a company can figure out how to bring that experience forward again in the form of a console or computer gaming or something in the form where you don't have

this crazy internet connected DRM scheme, you do something else. You go back to physical. Even if it's an RFID chip that you have to fucking scan on your computer, set on top of your computer, play the game so that you can't do it twice in two different areas with the same copy. I would still gravitate towards that. I would like to have physical copies of things so that when I get old i can go hey son you know what i used to play i

used to play grand theft auto 5 now you guys are playing games where it's like you know killing women and children and cops and stuff is like you know that's fine i'm sure in the future that's going to be like every game that's going to be mario brothers for ages seven and up he's like is there no rape dlc yeah but but but seriously it's like i want to be able to pass those things on to him and i'm afraid now even with as hard as it is to find the legacy games from my childhood like leisure suit larry and all the sierra titles and space quest and king's quest and black cauldron and all that shit i played when i was a kid uh it's gonna be impossible to pass on the shit that we have now i can't get my steam library to my kid in 30 years. But you're only looking at the downside

of all this. All you gotta do is get like a Raspberry Pi emulator, right? And you can have like every fucking old school game there ever was at the touch of a button, eh? But how? What if they're all tied with DRM to a cloud and they have to authenticate against the server using some private key with fucking SHA-256 encryption? That's the direction shit's going now.

That's why you don't see a lot of games getting cracked for online play anymore. Yeah, but I guess the kind of gaming i like to do is different anyway like i i need some internet connectivity or this game ain't gonna be no fun i want to play with some people i want another guy uh like the coolest thing about battlegrounds right now i think is they're about to they're they're working on their zombie mode but unlike call of duty and every other zombie game in existence except for maybe left for 4 Dead, because I think you played, yeah, yeah, it's kind of like Left 4 Dead in that they let players play the zombies. And there are, you know, right now it's all custom servers

because the actual live version of zombies mode is being tinkered at and it hasn't been released to everyone yet. But there are guys with custom servers who set this up and it'll be like three YouTubers versus 97 zombies and the map is like many square kilometers and once they spot you they're all coordinating and communicating and they lay down in the grass like 30 people and they wait until the three of you yeah and you know they'll coordinate and work as a team because they're people they're people discussing this and they're like all right now and you'll see the whole wheat field stand up and start running at them and. Sounds cool. Because they're people. They're people discussing this. And they're like, all right, now. And you'll see the whole wheat field stand up

and start running at them. And they're like, oh, God, they're everywhere. We're surrounded. That's awesome. And it looks like so much fun. And what they're going to do, the zombies are going to have better animations and they're going to balance all that out.

But right now it's all custom server stuff. But I love the idea of no more AI. At some point, you just can't get a better AI. And currently, I feel like the AI isn't even close to as good as just a kid out there somewhere pretending like he's a zombie. Even if it was exactly the same as a player, there's still a little satisfaction in knowing that's a guy. Definitely.

For me, that's what it is. Even if the AI could simulate it perfectly. For instance, GTA V, I just downloaded a new thing some guy did called Redux. Have you seen that or the Redux? Nope. It's a mod for GTA V that updates the graphics and makes them like phenomenal. Like if you have two Titans in your computer, the graphics look like real life. It makes GTA V and it changes all the ads like Coca-Cola and Walmart and shit.

So everything in the game is relevant to the real world. And it's absolutely amazing. But it also updates the AI for the police. And now the police run for cover, duck behind their cars, hang out the windows. They're like, if you're driving away and shit, they'll try to grab your leg and drag behind you while they're on the ground. And it's like it improved the experience of the game. But I still prefer to go online, even though the human players can't even do half the things the AI can do. Just knowing that that's some little shit running around with his gold gun and when i kill him he's just gonna

be raging and throwing the controller against the wall that somehow gives me some cruel satisfaction i was i was playing squads in battlegrounds last night and you enter in teams of four and there's 25 total teams and one you know one team wins at the end uh and there's no respawns or anything and i went to go like get a pizza out of the oven, and I was like, alright guys, I'm going to lay down here and go get this pizza. When I come back, they're like, you picked a bad time! They're in the building! We're on the second

story of this building, and they're on the first story, and there's like four of them down there, and it's just me and another guy upstairs. And I'm like, hang on, let me switch my mic, so I go in the settings and switch it so I can talk to them. I'm like, hey guys, how's it's it going they're like how long you been camping in here faggot oh i've been in here a while and you're about to leave and it just just that like interaction of like me talking shit to them and them talking shit to me and then finally going down and blowing

him away with a shotgun and taking all of his goodies like i fucking love it it's all about sending did you win i did we got all four um It's all about sending. Did you win two before? We got all four in the end. I think I may have been, me and another guy walked out of that. Eight men entered that building, and me and another guy walked out. But we took all their shit, of course. I like that. I like sending them home in that game,

because you might spend 20 minutes working on your character and getting your loot together, and you've ran kilometers to get on this building, and then then there I am and I end your game and take your shit. I'm really addicted to Battlegrounds. It's kind of a fast forward DayZ, right? Oh, it's so much better than DayZ. It's all of the best parts of DayZ and none of the downside, none of the bad parts. Let me ask you this. I played DayZ and the thing that made me rage quit it the most is you would always find somebody in the game after

playing for like 20 minutes. Some fucker would be talking to me like, hey, what's up? Hey, dude, okay. Here, I'm going to show you where the shit is. And they'd walk you over there and you'd have a conversation like 10 minutes later. They're like stabbing you in the back and stealing all their shit. Sorry, bro. And then run off. And you're like and that always happened. You couldn't trust anybody in that game at all.

This is the same way. I've never had a conversation that was meant to end in any other way than death uh usually it's me mocking them and trying to get fired up to make a mistake or something just being silly with them but but like it's a battle royale so like it's every man for himself it's rare that you see people team up and that's super frowned upon what it's called battle battle it's called player unknowns battlegrounds it's the biggest shooter on steam or on uh they've sold they're in they're in early release they've sold over four million Battlegrounds? It's called Player Unknown's Battlegrounds. It's the biggest shooter on Steam. They're in early release. They've sold over

4 million copies. It's bigger right now than H1Z1. It's twice as big right now as H1Z1 was at its peak. Like 300,000 concurrent players last time I looked. Like I said, it's early access. The full game is supposed to be

released. I would watch you live stream that. That would be very interesting to me. I'd like to see it. I would if I could. Can't. Is it an embargo? No, just bad internet. I'm going to go get it. I'm definitely going to stream it. Dude, if you want

to get fired up and love this thing, watch a couple. Aculite, A-C-U-L-I-T-E. He's like the... He reminds me of Sea Nanners a bit. He's very calm and cool and collected, but he's just a monster in the game. I like to watch his videos. It's a very cool game. How many views does he get?

Do you know? I'd have made 243,000 on the video he just released. Well, 65 days ago. Hold on. Let me see what his current video is. We're all like creeping on this guy. 124,000 views in one day? Not too bad. For a channel that's only got 250,000 subs. He uploads often. He's got a pretty hot channel. And he's one of the hottest channels for this game, which is just on fire.

This game's super popular. You go online, it's a 100-man server, and it fills up in, like, seconds. It's like you don't wait around for 100 people to join your game. It just happens. The graphics actually don't look too bad either like usually you look at the shit like these massively multiplayer games the graphics suffer really bad this actually looks decent the optimization uh so they roll out two patches a month every month um with optimization uh fixes bug fixes and they add content every single month so So I've been playing for two or three months now. Oh, crushing people in the vehicles

and that kind of gameplay is so goddamn much fun. The vehicle versus vehicle battles, there's so much skill that goes on in that game. So many newfound skills that are unique to that game. You can change your seat in a car while you're driving. So if you're playing in the 1V, it's a solo mode where 100 individuals drop in you can be driving your jeep and i got my hot keys set up

so i can do this quickly but you know i'll tap to go to the passenger seat shoot a guy who was driving next to me tap one go back to the driver's seat keep going this looks awesome i'm totally getting this how much is it is it 30 maybe that's not bad that not it's it's it's i think i've put about 250 hours in so far um please tell me though it's not one of those dlc or not dr uh yeah dlc games where you gotta buy shit loads of stuff to like win you ain't gonna buy nothing um yeah you everything that you go into the game literally with nothing you know like you can go in with your underwear if you'd like um and you find everything you're going to use within like the first 10 minutes of landing. Within the first 30 seconds, you've got a gun.

Within the first two minutes, you've got a gun and armor. See, that's what I need because, man, my rage and ADHD, I hated that. Like DayZ, I'd go walk around with my friends. They'd get me on a server on TeamSpeak, and we'd be walking around for like four hours, and they'd go, dude, I found a flashlight and a dildo. Oh, wow. Well, fuck yourself. I'm going to go play a fun game.

That's perfect. You have to take Adderall to be able to play games with your friends. You have a problem. This is the complete opposite of that, and I played a lot of DC and had frustrating experiences. I swear, you jump out of a plane. That's how the game begins. You skydive to the ground.

You pick out where you want to land. You pick your, you know, whatever you want, skyd you you pick your you know flower if you want skydiving and then using your parachute and then i swear to god every single building has one piece of usable something in it whether it's a frag grenade or a machine gun or a helmet like like you get your shit going i am played daisy and i used to what i do is i was really popular at the time and i'd get some tour guides people who were good at the game like i want to fly a helicopter can you guys help me make that happen and uh these more experienced players would betray and like kill like idea like and it's like that guy was friend not food and they're like no no no this is daisy everybody's food woody everybody's food you're just gonna have to get on board with the fact that these

friendships we make they all end one way they die or we do and like yeah woody if you didn't have so many subs we'd be killing you right now oh yeah yeah absolutely i was nothing but dead weight you know i did my best to carry my own weight but i didn't these guys are much better than me and uh that's exactly it like they liked me because they liked my content but you know they're just murdering each other and knocking each other off, and they try to explain it. For me, it was a moral quandary. But for them, it's like, yeah.

He was going to kill me eventually. I think we lost a game, you, me, and Chiz, because of your moral quandary. Me, Woody, and Chiz had, after three hours of playing, just found each other. And we were hiding in this little, like, it was like a bathroom with a lot of stalls, like outdoors. And we heard footsteps.

And, like, we hadn't heard footsteps for three hours. This isn't, like, this is crazy and daisy. It's like, someone is here. And when he came in, we were like, hey, how's it going? You want to talk and hang out but I was like alright let's kill him now and he was like well wait we just met him and like the attack floundered because all three of us

were whooping at the same time and this guy had guns he had real guns with real bullets for him we had weapons right we had maybe one of us had a shitty gun and the rest of us had an axe but 3v1 maybe we got a thing you know but we really needed to attack

simultaneously. But you couldn't commit to the murder. You couldn't just follow orders. In my head, I would do well in an apocalypse situation. Probably everybody thinks that. But maybe that would be my downfall too. Maybe I would be nice to someone who doesn't deserve it. Everybody who doesn't have

spectacular cardio is going to do badly in a zombie apocalypse scenario. That's the thing that everybody's like, no, I'd have a bat with a bunch of nails in it, and I'd go out there just for half an hour. For half an hour, I'd just swing and knock them out. How are you going to get nails in a bat? But anyway. It's very long nails. Very long nails to hammer all the way through.

And isn't it hard? Maybe I'm wrong. No. No, you got to drill. You pre-drilldrill first you put it through put a little epoxy on there you're good I really think it to know your weapon no we're just hammering them through with and then we have duct tape to keep it together the point of this is isn't the bat it's not about the bat the shit cardio, you can have every gun on the planet and the best aim in the world, and you're gonna be

fucked three days in, because you're gonna be traipsing down the local watering hole, and you're gonna get winded, and three of them are gonna chase you, you're gonna run a little bit, get winded again, and you're gonna get blindsided by one by a bush or something. That's the thing. Nobody is prepared for... You know who's gonna do well in the zombie apocalypse?

Kenyans. They're gonna do spectacularly. What if they have like, marathon running zombies in Kenya? What if those fuckers just keep going? The other thing that people get, like, I think silly, like, oh Kyle, you have 137 guns? You do really well with a home intruder. It's like, really, one will get it done. Well, no, you have 137 guns. You need people to operate those if you want to stay alive

because what's the first place everybody's going to hit in a zombie apocalypse? The guy that's got 137 guns can only shoot one at a time. That's going to be the guy that they overrun. I mean, that would be the smart tactic, right? Go take the armor. He's like, I got Mangalores out in the yard. We're good.

Pongy pits. Kill them all. Do you guys want to do politics talk? I mean, dangerous territory. It's a huge week for politics. I feel like we can't just... We used to do it every week during the elections. Go for it.

I don't care. We've already talked about the dark web and killing bears and and shit we're fine so let me set this up i have a um a video it says it's four minutes it's really three and a half because i spent all this time like subscribe to us etc this is msnbc video so i feel like hear me out this is what this whole thing looks like through the blue lens you know what he's going to do is he's kind of going to lay out the timeline of all this stuff. He's, in my opinion, maybe other people get this, have a different view. It's the facts. It's like this happened on this date.

This happened on that date. And to me, he's putting the puzzle together of the whole Russian collusion thing. But, yeah. Anyway, I thought we'd watch this and it was like, ah, this is how I see it. Maybe there's something wrong with me if I'm seen at the MSNBC rate. But are you guys ready?

Get up at zero? Mm-hmm. All right, it gets good like 15 seconds in. Ready, set, play. Good evening, I'm Chuck Todd here in Washington and welcome to MTP Daily. If you want to know why something happened, sometimes it helps to know when it happened.

Federal and congressional investigators are trying to make sense of the Trump Jr. bombshell. We are too. We've typically viewed the timeline of events surrounding Russia as helpful context. Not anymore. After these latest revelations, the timeline looks now like it could end up being evidence in and of itself. I'm distracted by his hair. Not good. Everyone is part of his tactic and the white house are all flooding the zone right now trying to diminish the story or explain it away but boy oh boy there's a lot of explaining to do

what happened during the trump campaign the trump transition and the trump presidency so here's what we do know the campaign was a willing partner or at least donald trump jr's emails indicate this in russia's efforts to influence the election the transition tried SO HERE'S WHAT WE DO KNOW. THE CAMPAIGN WAS A WILLING PARTNER, OR AT LEAST DONALD TRUMP JR.'S EMAILS INDICATE THIS, IN RUSSIA'S EFFORTS TO INFLUENCE THE ELECTION. THE TRANSITION TRIED TO COVER UP THE FULL EXTENT OF ITS CONTACT AND COMMUNICATIONS WITH RUSSIA, AND IT ALSO TRIED TO SET UP A BACK CHANNEL TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE RUSSIAN GOVERNMENT USING RUSSIAN FACILITIES. THOSE ARE FACTS WE NOW KNOW. AND AS PRESIDENT, MR. TRUMP HAS GONE TO, seemingly, to either help Putin or give him some cover. He's questioned U.S. intelligence, given Russia information that government officials say was highly classified, urged the FBI to drop its investigation into Michael Flynn's contact with Russia. Then he fired the FBI director.

And he's made it clear to Putin during a face-to-face meeting that he wasn't going to punish him for what he did. Instead, he's discussed partnering with him on cybersecurity matters. THE PRESIDENT'S DECISION TO PUNISH HIM FOR WHAT HE DID. HE MADE IT CLEAR TO PUTIN DURING A FACE-TO-FACE MEETING THAT HE WASN'T GOING TO PUNISH HIM FOR WHAT HE DID. INSTEAD, HE'S DISCUSSED PARTNERING WITH HIM ON CYBERSECURITY MATTERS.

AND A DEEPER DRIVE INTO THE TIMELINE SPECIFICALLY SURROUNDING DONALD TRUMP JR.'S MEETING WITH A RUSSIAN LAWYER DURING THE CAMPAIGN PAINTS AN EQUALLY TROUBLING PICTURE OF WHAT HAPPENED AND PERHAPS WHY IT HAPPENED.

IN EARLY JUNE, AFTER RUSSIAN HACKERS PENETRATED THE DNC AND JOHN PODESTA'S EMAIL ACCOUNTS, BUT BEFORE IT WAS PUBLICLY KNOWN, TRUMP JR. WAS OFFERED A MEETING WITH A RUSSIAN LAWYER. HE WAS TOLD WAS PART OF A RUSSIAN GOVERNMENT EFFORT TO BACK HIS FATHER AND, QUOTE, INCRIMINATE CLINTON. A MERE FOUR HOURS AFTER THE DATE AND TIME OF THAT MEETING WAS CONFIRMED, MR. TRUMP, AS CANDIDATE, IS TEASING THAT HE'S GOT DIRT ON HIS OPPONENT. I AM GOING TO GIVE A MAJOR SPEECH ON PROBABLY MONDAY OF that he's got dirt on his opponent. I am going to give a major speech

on probably Monday of next week, and we're going to be discussing all of the things that have taken place with the Clintons. I think you're going to find it very informative and very, very interesting. So now we now know that it's two days after those comments that the Trump campaign ends up meeting with the Russian lawyer.

And it's right after the meeting's apparent conclusion that Mr. Trump is tweeting, quote, where are Hillary Clinton's 30,000 emails that you deleted, unquote. Just a few days later, the first batches of emails hacked from the DNC do begin to drop. And of course, the floodgates open. At the July convention, there's that bizarre change to the top of the GOP platform, making it a bit more Russia friendly on the issue of Ukraine. And then there's this. IN JULY CONVENTION, THERE'S THAT BIZARRE CHANGE TO THE TOP OF THE GOP PLATFORM, MAKING IT A BIT MORE RUSSIA-FRIENDLY ON THE ISSUE OF UKRAINE. AND THEN THERE'S THIS. PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, RUSSIA, IF YOU'RE LISTENING, I HOPE

YOU'RE ABLE TO FIND THE 30,000 EMAILS THAT ARE MISSING. WHEN THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN IS AT ITS LOWEST ON THE DAY OF THE ACCESS HOLLYWOOD TAPE DROP, THEY GET WIKILEAKS, WHICH TRUMP USES WITH GUSTO AND HIS WAY TO VICTORY. AND THEN THERE'S THE U.S. INTELLIGENCE ASSESSMENT ON THAT SAME VERY DAY, BY THE WAY, EXPOSING RUSSIA'S EFFORT, WHICH THEN PROMPTS A CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION, WHICH BRINGS US BACK TO TODAY. SOURCES TELL NBC NEWS THAT THE PRESIDENT WAS CONSULTED ON HIS SON'S INITIAL STATEMENT ABOUT HIS MEETING WITH THAT RUSSIAN LAWYER.

THAT STATEMENT HAS PROVEN ITSELF TO BE A BRAZEN EFFORT TO AT LEAST MISLEAD THE PUBLIC ON WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. THE PRESIDENT'S E-MAILS. THE PRESIDENT'S E-MAILS ARE NOT THE ONLY THING THAT IS CONFUSING. THE PRESIDENT'S E-MAILS ARE NOT THE ONLY THING THAT IS CONFUSING. THE PRESIDENT'S E-MAILS ARE NOT THE ONLY THING THAT IS CONFUSING. THE PRESIDENT'S E-MAILS ARE

NOT THE ONLY THING THAT IS CONFUSING. THE PRESIDENT'S E-MAILS ARE NOT THE ONLY THING THAT IS CONFUSING. THE PRESIDENT'S E-MAILS ARE NOT THE ONLY THING THAT IS CONFUSING. THE PRESIDENT'S E-MAILS ARE NOT THE ONLY THING THAT IS CONFUSING.

THE PRESIDENT'S E-MAILS ARE NOT THE ONLY THING THAT IS CONFUSING. THE PRESIDENT'S E-MAILS ARE NOT THE ONLY THING THAT IS CONFUSING. THE PRESIDENT'S E-MAILS ARE NOT THE ONLY THING THAT IS CONFUSING. THE PRESIDENT'S E-MAILS ARE NOT THE ONLY THING THAT IS CONFUSING. THE PRESIDENT'S E-MAILS ARE NOT up the extent of that contact. And that, like this entire timeline, may now end up being crucial evidence against the Trump team. Hey there, I'm Chris Hayes. My favorite part, the part I laughed at, was that Trump was going to work with Putin on

cybersecurity. Yeah, I lost my shit when I read that the other day. It would be like if Trump was working with, I don't know, the- Jared Fogle on child safety. We're going to work with ISIS on terrorism. Midnick. On hacking. That's pretty outrageous.

Just that sentence. Yeah. You're just looking at it through a blue lens. Everything he said there looks pretty bad. It looks bad. I don't understand. I picked it because I thought it was factual. All these Russian looks pretty bad the only um it looks bad you know i i don't know i've been saying because i thought it was factual this this russia these all these russian connections are what bothered me

everybody was like oh but he's unprofessional and he tweets this i'm like who cares from the ghetto you've always been like you know like i i there's a lot about trump i can forgive the russian thing has you concerned like you've always said that. Yeah, I don't care for it. This doesn't sound as... I'm trying to figure out what... This doesn't sound super dark and evil, like Trump was in a dark room with Putin, like, hooking up

conspiracy and promising favors in exchange for it. What it seems to me is what we knew before the election, and it was that the Russians want Donald Trump to win because Donald Trump's foreign policy concerning them and what they're interested in is more favorable to them than Hillary Clinton's.

Just based on campaign speeches. I'm pretty sure Trump had a good relationship with powerful people in Russia for years just through his business. Before he was a politician. That whole thing... Does he have hotels and casinos there? Or am I thinking of something else?

He hosted the Miss Universe there with Putin. Yeah, he had the pageants there. Yeah. And apparently he got loans from a Russian billionaire. And it's funny. So the Russian billionaire would give him loans. The Russian billionaire's kid is a pop star. And Donald Trump appeared in his son's music videos saying you're fired

they did like an apprentice thing and uh what's the name of this song because I need to check this out I don't know I did see the section of the video though and basically it was like the end of the apprentice where he's like this is terrible you're fired and then it kicks into the song or something I don't know

but uh so yeah Russian I'm sorry Trump had connections with Russia because of his business enterprises that go around the world. And I think, you know, maybe having powerful people in Russia was part of why they liked him. And then like Kyle said,

there's another prong to it where Hillary wanted these no-fly zones and Hillary had a long history of not getting along with Russia. But my fear, the thing that's inexcusable to me and my leader would be if I felt that someone from some foreign power had some pull or some sway over him

as to the decisions he makes regarding us and what we do. I want all of his decisions to be like he said they would be for the betterment of the U.S. Like, forget about this globalist stuff, forget about this country and that country, what they think. When you see them pull out of the Paris Climate Agreement, for example, it's like he didn't care what anyone thought. He thought

that was best for us, or he wouldn't have done it. And I read the other day, and I'd love to get this fact checked, they said that regardless of us pulling out of that climate treaty or not, that we are still going to meet all the requirements for it, because of our reduced emissions anyway. Like, that we're going to hit it, regardless of where we say we're going to hit it or not. I've also heard that even if he wants

to pull out, it takes so many years to pull out that he potentially, if he doesn't win re-election, that has no impact what he wants. Exactly. There's so much shit like that that they fill our heads with. And it's not even, I feel like even the liberal news organizations, which dislike Trump and have a vested interest maybe in like booting him out of there or at least waving the flag for hating him man i wish they stick to the facts and the things that are really important i thought this video substantial this this did this did for the most thing about this one that's incorrect is uh when they said the in four days after this he said i'm gonna give this speech and you know and get all this stuff on Hillary that speech actually never happened which like that speech of like the promises that he was going to dish out that that speech never came which

yeah does bolster the point that they didn't get any information out of it but that doesn't mean I don't like the argument people are making on the right right now of like oh well it's not illegal it's not illegal it's like the goalpost but but like yeah it's not illegal but it may not be illegal but that doesn't make it ethical and when you say oh well hillary did this with the ukrainians during the election it's like okay but if you're drawing that comparison didn't you hate when she did that with the ukrainians during the election or are you saying that that is bad and what he did is bad too, but because we both do bad things, it's totally a wash and it's cool.

So I don't like that at all. And if there is any Russian shit, I want it delved up. I want it dug up. Since during the election, there's nothing here, there's nothing here. There's no evidence, there's no evidence. There's absolutely no evidence.

Now they've moved the goal line to, well, okay, there's evidence, right?'s no evidence. There's no evidence. There's absolutely no evidence. Now they've moved the goal line to, well, okay, there's evidence, right? Donald Trump Jr. himself released his own emails that said, I love it, with regards to colluding with the Russians. Now there's evidence. Now the question of, did the Trump campaign collude with the Russians is answered.

They did. It's a matter of whether or not Trump himself knew. Well, the collusion thing is interesting. I was listening to Ben Shapiro talk about it. He's an attorney, obviously. There is evidence, but the second part of it is, was it illegal? Because the collusion is done.

That question is answered. Is there anything to criminally charge these guys with? They did it, but is it against the law? My understanding is that collusion doesn't... there anything to criminally charge these guys with they did it but is it against the law my my understanding is that collusion doesn't okay well collusion isn't a legal term first of all so there's no way to be guilty of quote collusion you would need a crime would be it would be conspiracy to commit a crime is what donald trump jr would get for that i would think but it's not collusion i don't think unless they actually

got something from them but even then i don't know and it's difficult because i'm the attorney but i was trying to understand what ben shapiro was talking about saying that that he's specializing video game well this is a bit out of my depth it's not in that kind of collusion but this i don't know i just don't like the, you're right, the moving of the goalposts with it where it's like for so long it was nothing at all happened with Trump, Putin, or whatever. And now something like this becomes available. And people are like, well, but even if he did go, even if there was no collusion and he did go there with, quote, intent to collude, he clearly, like I don't, I would still say there's an argument that there was no collusion and he did go there with quote intent to collude you know he clearly like i don't i would still say there's an argument that there was not collusion but you cannot make an argument at all that there was not intent to collude he went there thinking that

there was going to be information that he could use that he could get from the russians that would hurt hillary clinton but the thing with impeachment is like if the democrats get control of the house they could push an impeachment through because Trump was skipping his morning bowel movements. They don't need an actual criminal thing there for impeachment. I feel like that's not far from what happened to Bill Clinton. With him getting impeached. Well, he got impeached for lying on the road.

Donald Trump does not need an impeachment proceeding because I guarantee what would happen is the same thing that happened to Bill Clinton. We would get to it and be like, you know what? There just never was any actual evidence that Donald Trump conspired with the Russians to do this. However, turns out

he laundered money and fucked bitches and swindled Romanian charities and a lot of stuff that he wouldn't because the scope of that for romanians you know whoever he fucked over uh bill clinton by the way because a lot of people listening to this were probably young when it went down uh bill clinton and to some extent hillary benefited greatly in these real estate investment deals. They had these real estate investment trusts and like zoning would change or like for whatever reason, the properties they bought would get tremendously more valuable and then they would sell them.

And they're like, what the, like, this is a lot of luck. Is it perhaps that he's using connections in high places to rezone the property and make them more valuable than when he bought them? But they couldn't get him on it. Probably guilty, but couldn't get him on it. And then they started looking at Hillary Clinton's cattle future investments. She invested $1,000 and turned it into $100,000. Woman doesn't know anything about cattle, but she bought these cattle futures. It's in the pudding, Woody. Sounds like you don't know anything about cattle.

That much is true also. Hillary Clinton spent generations right in the heart of cattle land. So she would invest and she would bet that the cattle would get more expensive and win, win, win, win. Nail the top. Bet that it would go down. Win, win, win, win. Nail the bottom.

Bet that it would go up. Don't know how she did this, but she turned one grand into 100,000 a grand. Couldn't find anything illegal. Couldn't find any records couldn't find whatever um and then eventually this this like investigation that just went anywhere found that bill clinton was fucking and getting blowjobs by monica lewinsky stuck his cigar in her and all that fun stuff i you know what that's just what he's talking i think he fucked her but that's. You do not- you do not go from blowjob to cigar insertion to fucking. Cigar insertion is definitely the third step in that triage.

Like, you are- you're fucking him and then- I never thought- I'm doing it wrong, guys. Doing it wrong. I never thought about the cigar insertion, like- like, it always seemed weird to me, but I bet, hear me out here, you totally get a buzz from someone sticking a cigar in your vagina. Because, like, just absorbing the nicotine through the tobacco leaf from someone sticking a cigar in your vagina. Because just absorbing the nicotine through the tobacco leaf, just having a cigar in your mouth, that's

what Schwarzenegger does 99% of the time. He chews on the things because you're absorbing the nicotine straight from the... It's tobacco wrapped in tobacco. Yeah, but then you're a disgusting animal with leaves all over your teeth. To wrap up what happened to Bill, eventually they found him having sexual relations with Monica. I think the specific lie he told was that he didn't

have sexual relations with her or that he wasn't. That woman? Yeah, that woman or that he wasn't having with her. That's not the definition it is. Yeah, yeah. I did not have sexual relations with that woman. And then he got convicted of lying under oath. And all of America was like, well, some America hated him, right? Because half America hates red and half hates blue. But then other people were like, well, some of America hated him, right? Because half America hates red and half hates blue. But then other people were like, yeah, he lied. But he lied about cheating on his wife. Yeah, it wasn't the sex at all.

He wasn't going to come right out and be like, yeah, I fucked her. Blew a big load on that blue dress. Get that out of here, baby. Does someone have their phone near the microphone? Is it even me? I don't know. I'm here. I'm hearing it.

I'm hearing it as well my phone's far away i'm getting a few text messages from some bitches oh it could be kyle then i'm not getting you're gonna tell me that sexy little intern comes into your oval office and you're not gonna stick a nice cohiba in her cooter i doubt it i very much doubt that i very much doubt that my friend and that depends on what the definition is is so anyway i told that whole thing because uh there could be mueller might be chasing Trump in the same way. He might eventually come out and be like, like Kyle said, he swindled some Romanian charity and now he's unfit for office or who knows where it will head. It could be anything.

You could find out that he raped a woman. You could find out that he's bisexual. You could find out that one of his sons is illegitimate. When they open up that grand jury thing, and they start being able to put anyone even mildly connected to this man on the witness stand, and

if you tell a lie, they can put you up on perjury charges. Oh, man. They really get to the bottom of things. Can you imagine the like the the the earthquake of everyone if in a couple days trump came out and was like you know what i've been inspired inspired by my good friend caitlin jenner and i've decided to come clean i've wanted to be donald dina my whole life and i've decided that now is the time. I'm the most powerful woman on the planet

and frankly the first woman president. Girl power. People would have to be like, you liar! And they'd be like, he can identify her every once. He's like, oh, well, nah. Would Democrats suddenly like him?

Like, that is the funniest timeline possible. If Donald Trump was a transsexual, oh, I would love that so much. I would do whatever it took to make it happen if I had any voice or any way to make that trigger happen, because you're absolutely right. hated by the sick. He is reviled by the exact same group of people who defend transsexual rights and transsexualism to their last. Right? They would not know what to do with that. And to be clear, I'm keeping my penis. I'm in my mid-40s.

Or mid-70s. And he's loved by people who couldn't tolerate it at all. So it would really flip things. But he might be right. He might be able to do anything, including shoot people on Fifth Avenue, and they'd still love him. The point is how many people

it would upset at the same time, because people would be like, we voted for this cuck! And then at the same time... How great would it be if that was his kink? If he was actually a cuck? That's not true.

That's not true. He's not actually trans. That's not... Erasing his identity. Then they have to retreat to a safe spot. It would be hilarious. Think of how upset people would get. Wear his pantsuits like Clinton. He'd get some big fake knockers. Long long wig.

He probably has knockers. Just like his daughter. Same hair. Take Ivana's hair, throw it on him. It's Ivana. She's so goddamn hot. I know every Trump conversation eventually leads to me staring at his

incredibly hot daughter. In her 30s, something like that. 37, I think. She doesn't have a dick. I mean, I think she's into guys with dicks, but she's beautiful, right? But I don't look at her

and think that I don't see people that good-looking every day. I don't see people that good-looking every day. She has incredible symmetry. She has an amazing body. She's like movie star from top to bottom. Just the maintenance it takes to keep a human being at that good looking every day. She has incredible symmetry. She has an amazing body. She's like movie star all from top to bottom. Like just the maintenance it takes to keep a human being at that level all the time is like a normal person's salary. Just getting her hair and nails done, keeping her waxed and primmed and pricked. Like all that, pricked, whatever.

Whatever she needs to make her look like. I'm sure she's getting plenty of pricked. Yeah. Pricks and whatever. That'm sure she's getting plenty of pricked. That's why she is so attractive. When they were children, she stole the soul of Eric Trump. That's why Eric Trump looks like a weevil. But it turns out Eric Trump is the smart one compared to Donald Jr. Eric Trump seems like the one in all this where when he's standing behind him at those things, he's like, oh, I just kind of, you know, guys, I really just like doing the business thing.

Why did we have to, you know, why did we have to do this? We had a good life. I saw Eric on the show. I listen to the Sean Hannity show sometimes because it's on my talk radio channel at the time of day I drive often. And he had he had Eric on. This is back during the campaign he had eric and i think ann coulter um and regardless of how you feel about ann coulter she's a very well-spoken woman like like you don't listen to ann coulter speaking the guy what a dumb

dumb blonde like you don't get that impression and he held his own with her yeah she gets abused a lot for her looks and stuff and and in a way that a liberal never would. Ann Coulter's kind of a cunt, let's be honest. But that aside, Eric Trump held his own with both Sean Hannity and her speaking on the air. And I remember thinking back then, like, god damn, he's a lot smarter than his dad. God, if his dad could talk like this, there wouldn't be so many people rising up. Eric Trump, that's the one I'm talking about. Donald Trump here is the one who, that's the one I'm talking about.

Donald Trump is the one who I guess is a doofus. I haven't heard him speak much, but Eric Trump, the really fugly looking one, the one that with the teeth and the hair. Very good speaker. Excellent. Very eloquent. What does Barron think about all this? Let's get him in the mix. No, I want to leave him alone.

Make him the ambassador to Spain. Fuck it. Why not? Why why not because apparently we voted for the whole fucking trump clan because we're just throwing new ingredients in the mix i'm okay with that i am not i don't want the whole trump clan apart i don't want avanka doing shit i don't want eric doing shit i don't want donald trump junior doing shit with it if they were qualified like we keep saying it wouldn't you hate it if chelsea did it right doesn't chelsea have like a phd in international relations from oxford i read that on the internet i'm sure it's true if that's the case then like i guess i don't hate having chelsea in the position right but

these uh the trump kids they don't really have international relations experience they've got that's not their draw that's not so they do have that experience and i don't really have international relations experience. They've got some real estate experience. That's not their draw. That's not. So they do have that experience, and I don't think that's important for what they're doing. But I think the reason that they're good, the reason that it's good to have them there is because Donald Trump's our president. If it was anybody else but Donald Trump, I'd be like, get his fucking family out of there. But what we have here is a super hyper inexperienced politician. It's clear every step of the way. I mean, even at pen signings, like bill signings, it's clear this guy's out of his depth. And I think it's important that you have some people near him that he trusts who are clearly smarter than he is. And, and at least better at

like going out and figuring out how something should be done. I bet Ivanka and his children have whispered something in his ear so many times that, that has saved all of us that, oh my God, can you believe he just did that oh yeah i don't think so i feel like everywhere and we're getting the improved donald trump his name is general mathis i think he does that all the time i bet that that everyone seems to respect that guy i bet he is you know trump has offloaded like national security to him it appears and uh that's probably good i'd rather have him doing it than trump did you see him like dominate his uh like he was the only person from either side of the aisle during all the past few years like depositions and hearings and everything where everyone it

seemed was like do you see mathis mathis's part they're like yeah he fucking killed it like all that they were like what do you think about this and that? And they tried to trap him in something. And he was like, my job is the military. The military is in an excellent position right now, and I'm doing everything to maintain that. You'll have to direct that question to someone whose job it is to answer it. And it's like, oh, he did everything but look at the camera and go, they've vastly underestimated the amount of power I have in this administration. They think that Steve Bannon, that fat

retard who sits in his own room with that Napoleon painting, has all the strings. They're sadly mistaken. He turns back. That's exactly what Mathis seems like. I like him, too. Yeah, it appears that he's lived an honorable life and has nothing to hide and just does his job.

I mean, until I'm proven wrong, that's what I'm seeing. Yeah, I like the mindset you get out of guys from the military. Some of them. Some of them, sure. There's rotten apples in every bunch, right? No matter what group you're looking at.

I like the way that the military guys look at tasks at hand because the tasks that they always had at hand were kind of do or die, and when they take that into the civilian world or something, it's an interesting perspective. And just the regimented way that they live their lives,

I suppose, has to help them be more successful afterwards. Of course, you see plenty of examples of that not happening. But I like the guy's... Well, I guess everything has equal importance, right? That's the military mindset, is everything has equal importance. It doesn't matter if it's a mountain or a molehill. You get out there, you do it, you complete your task, and you move on. So you don't...

It's funny you said that, because that's the aspect of some military guys that I find frustrating. You know, like, oh, back when I was in the military, like, I changed oil in this, and I was responsible for, you know, 50 oil changes every day, and without me, the machine came grinding to a halt, in this and i was responsible for that you know 50 oil changes every day without me the machine came grinding to a halt and this oh don't i know it and it's like the dad who was a coolant tech on a funny yeah yeah and it's like all right all right like look i don't mean to you know not celebrate our military but you worked the the marine jiffy lube and like exactly i totally get to my dad's like i carried them cool in tanks day and night up and down them stairs like dude you could have been replaced with a conveyor

bell for 500 come on let's be honest yeah but like despite not getting the glory and like going into battle or something if you were in world war ii and you got drafted and they said to you when you got on that boat getting shipped over to you know the uk or wherever you were stationed before you went into mainland europe and they were like all right we got a rifle here for you you got your pack but we also need someone in the loading bay would you rather carry boxes of bullets back and forth all day like what do you think in your heart of hearts you would have you would have said i so there's i've got two answers for that uh me that you're talking to i don't know it's a tough decision i think i'd i i like to think i'd want to be on the front line but it might be hard to turn down the

safety opportunity but i know this 17 19 year old woody on the battle. Like, fucking go. Like, can I have a motorcycle and a Captain America shield? Because I'm all about this. That would be what young Woody would have done. Yeah, I think I'd probably stick with the safe job. The same thing. I can't speak for my younger self because I was never really that type of a personality when I was younger. But I think I'd take the safe bet just because all i would think about right now is

god the only thing i'd be good for out there on the front line is laying on a grenade that's about all i'd be good for right now in my current state of states but yeah if i was like in the prime of my life and i was like oh my god go get her test her osterone and i was like oh you can be alone all day walking back and forth those deck for next six years and be relatively safe or you can be out there with all your comrades. You know having good times and bad times and everything I think probably go for the higher energy experience That's what I like to think I mean. I'm not as old as you guys. I'm only 26 So I'm closer to that you know testosterone fueled late teen age when you would be most likely going to World War two

Yeah, but I feel like at that age. It's it's there's a reason that they want you joining the military at 18 and 19 it's because you're full of testosterone you're full of you know vim and vigor and you're ready to fucking go and your brain's not developed that it's more easily manipulated yes you're more easily forced into a new you know regimented existence than you would be if you were 32 or something like that so i'm pretty sure just like most guys that age i would have been like oh yeah put me in the action at 18 and 19 but man it i don't know it would be what we're saying kyle is i asked if you're going over to world war ii and you have to answer not jokey or you can't give a fuck like in your heart of hearts like your real heart would you if offered

to a job at a loading bay to carry boxes back and forth for the duration of the war, or you can go fight, what do you think you would have chosen? I'd probably take the loading bay. Depending on what the fighting was going to be like, I would take the loading bay. Keep in mind, this is like 1819 Kyle. Oh, I want to go blow some shit up, man. I want to get on demolitions duty. Um, cause... Keep in mind, this is like 1819 Kyle. Oh. I wanna go blow some shit up, man. I wanna get on demolitions duty. Like, let me be the guy who swims out and like blows the bridge up. I'll drown, but it'll blow.

We've now revealed why you can't drink till you're 21, but you can join the 19th century. Fuck it, move on! Give me that composition B! There's a specific age at which you start putting everything together, and you start to become cynical. And as you get older and older, you become more and more and more cynical

and self-preservationist. I wonder what that exact age is, like average across everybody. You know what it is? It's probably 21. That's probably like the apex, or 18 or 21. That's probably why the age was picked. They did all the consensus They were like that is exactly the moment it was you wait a day longer. They start putting shit together

I think that's the problem though because I think there are people who at 12 years old have that and I think there are people Who are four years old who will never have that you know like and that I mean is like? I don't know where you wanna call it like common sense That's what people in the south always call it like whenever somebody's a fucking moron and you can tell they're never going to be a moron, you don't say like, that guy just has a low IQ. You're like, no common sense. Like he couldn't look at the situation like all of us could and see that hole he's had to step in. He had the loading dock job all shown up. He could have like lived right there near london out of the

bombing zone just loading crates of american supplies off for the tommies but nope he wanted to go fight in a trench somewhere and his feet rotted off and now he's now he's that's him no feet larry you know that would be an even worse one to have to make the decision about world war one because before you get there you don't even know that you're in a trench. You have no idea what war is like until you get there. You have to ride out on the plane and take out Kaiser.

Exactly. Those people, when they were said, you're going to go to war and you're going to fight the Germans for the first time. At first time, just stay tuned. It's coming back around. There's a sequel to this. They were imagining in their head like riding on horses and like ducking behind trees and that kind of shit like they had

no conception of like machine guns and we're spoiled now right we got like pictures of battlefields we got satellites we got planes that are untouchable from missiles from the ground it's like we have so much intelligence we pretty much know what we're walking into to minimize casualties like back in those days like they didn't know you can walk out on a battlefield there could be a thousand guys over the next ridge you didn't know because you had old school tactics mixed you had old school tactics in world war one mixed with new school weapons like the maxim machine gun and gas and artillery um but and mortar fire and all that stuff if you have you ever seen Legends of the Fall with Brad Pitt? I haven't.

So it's Brad Pitt and his family living on a ranch just prior to World War I, and one of the brothers is super patriotic. The U.S. hasn't entered the war yet. They just keep reading on the papers at dinner at night how the English are struggling. And he's like, I'm going to go. And the dad is – he's the guy who plays Hannibal Lecter. It's Anthony Hopkins. Anthony Hopkins is like, no, don't go on that stupid wall.

And like finally the son is like, no, I'm going. And so Brad Pitt, who was always like a wild man who was raised by like an Indian friend of his father's, and he's like an outdoorsman. He kills a bear when he's a child. No, he cut the bear's – the bear attacks the child, and he slashes at the bear and cuts its thumb off. And he's always got the bear when he's a child no he cut the bears the bear attacks the child and he slashes at the bear and cuts his thumb off and he's always got the bear's thumb on a necklace brad pitt's like hardcore motherfucker number one like long flowing hair brad pitt with a six-pack like i wanted to fuck him and so they go to world war one and brad pitt's like can't let my little brother go you know without someone to look after him so he goes and and and so they get over there

get separated. He's been trying to protect the brother the whole time, but the brother volunteers for some sort of messenger duty, like sending a message across enemy lines. Long story short, gets exposed to gas and trapped in the barbed wire. And the brother's out there like, help!

Help! All tangled in the barbed wire. And before Brad Pitt can, like, ride in and save the day, they machine gun the brother down. Just decimate. And Brad Pitt just falls upon the enemy and kills two or three of them with his bare hands and goes crazy.

He just loses his fucking mind and devolves back into the Apache guy who raised him and all of his Indian war stories. He can't get his brother's body back to camp, so he cuts the heart out. Cuts his brother's who raised him and all his war like Indian War stories he takes his break he can't get his brother's body back to camp so he cuts the heart out cuts his brother's heart out puts in a box and sends it back home and he's sitting there with his hands covered in that heart blood and like gore and he goes

and puts it all over his face puts it all over his fucking face and he starts and he leaves the camp where everybody else is, and he starts walking out into the battlefield. And at night, face-painted, he's going from foxhole to foxhole, killing Germans with a knife and scalping them, scalping them. He comes back to camp covered in gore with scalps all over him. It's super hardcore. It's great. And that's not like the penultimate moment of the movie. That's not like the peak. That's like – and that's the show.ultimate moment of the movie. That's not the peak. And that's the show.

Nah, we're just getting started. I already wrote it down. I'm going to go watch it. I've never even heard of this movie. I liked it a lot. I haven't seen it in a while, but it's a good movie. Yeah, I like it a lot. I can lay out a story.

It spans their lives. It starts off and Brad Pitt's a child, and at the end, Brad Pitt's a grown man on his second relationship or something after a war. It's a coming-of-age kind of story and that family. It's good. Good movie. We need to talk about something. Game of Thrones comes out on Sunday.

Movies! Oh, this Saturday. Sneaking up on us. Porn you can watch with your wife sunday sunday so four days three days whatever so so the day after this goes live uh game of thrones is coming out i have watched every like spoiler and theory and such that i can find uh because you know what i i fully recognize if you know for people who don't like that stuff, who don't want anything, hints of what's to come. But for me, I feel like it helps me keep up with the story and stuff. Sometimes I feel like I didn't get every aspect.

Sometimes clues are subtle. And I don't mind having someone else help me find them all. So, yeah, I am down for Game of Thrones. They made me wait way too long, as I covered. Practically two years older since the last time they showed me an episode. And, yeah, dude, freaking Game of Thrones is coming. We're going to see some Daenerys actions, some White Walker actions. I just finished watching season six.

All the hits, all the greats. All the greats. Daenerys. Tymon. Is Daenerys starting for the Lakers this year? No, Jared Snow. Jared Snow, as you call him, and Sansa are, like, having kind of a battle for who's king of the north.

So-so Lannister. I don't even know who's so seriously. The king slapper. All right, what is Dan? The little fellow, the ink. Yeah, all your favorites. They're coming back. And her twin, Jason.

Mother of Dragons is walking around half naked. I will watch every episode. Even the CGI tits? The Ant of Dragons. You'll get no more Mother of Dragons titties. I know. I would take a bet on that. I'll take another bet, and I don't

want to derail this Game of Thrones. We're going to keep going with Game of Thrones, but Woody, if you ever take a side, I think McGregor fights another MMA fight. I would bet that he will fight another MMA fight because of Connor Productions, because I think he's going to negotiate with the UFC for a whole lot more money and get a bigger piece of the pie. But Game of Thrones is coming. You're absolutely right, and I am crazy stoked.

I watched all of last season this week, and so i'm you know i'm pretty up to date on the thing it took there was some remembering to do it's been 18 months or something like that some awful amount of time so i needed that catch up i needed to remember where all the pieces on this big chess board are because that's what it is. How much I liked Lady Mormont. From Bob Bo to Lady Mormont. The most hardcore motherfucker. What did Taylor say?

It's a shame she died. It's a shame she died in real life, the actress who played her. You're talking about the young girl, Lady Mormont. I was thinking of the Queen of Thorns or whatever the hell. The Queen of Thorns died? that old lady she died yeah the the actress who played her died her name is lady mormon also no no i i was mistaken lady mormon's the young the young bear girl who yeah she's like

she leads uh one of them the houses of the north and mormon i guess and uh and not only was she there to commit her troops even though she didn't have that many to offer she was in it with her heart she also gave a rousing speech that that led to john snow being come of the king of the north that's i love that speech i love that because it's not so much a speech as it is her throwing everybody else under the bus she's like you lord mandalay he recalls you you refuse the call yeah oh but no more than that like this happened to you your father was skinned alive by ramsey bolton and still you refused and she just goes around the room doing this and then finally that guy stands up he's like lady mormon speaks harshly but truly

yeah she called out everyone on like cowardice like like they skinned your uncle alive you refused they bramsacked this and you refused the call and this that and it's just like yeah she's she's calling these motherfuckers out and she didn't refuse the call she could say what she wants even though she committed like 38 people or something but hey and even though like she's not doing any fighting, it's easy to be like, if I were like a crippled lord and my legs didn't work, I would have no qualms whatsoever

being like, hey, Stephen of House Smith, pussy, big fat, suffering, wet-lipped pussy. You're not sending anyone after our enemies. You, John of House

Crimbon, whatever. You know, your sister got raped and you basically watched. You probably liked it, you little bitch. Like, that kind of stuff. And then they'd be like, oh, you know, Lord Taylor speaks harshly, but truly. They'd be like, yeah, yeah, I have no problem

bloviating because I'm not doing any fighting. I'm gonna be in a comfortable chair in the back like you guys are the ones up so that i don't know that's what bothers me about any of those fantasy or medieval shows where like the king or lord or queen or princess or whatever like shame a lot of actual soldiers when it's like you don't gotta do shit it's like me going going to a garbage men's strike and being like, and we're gonna pick up the vomit, and we're gonna pick up the homeless feces, and we're gonna do it with a smile on our face, aren't we, fellas? You're not gonna do any of that. You're not gonna help us with any of those things. I don't know. Did you watch the, like,

Behind the Thrones, I think they call it? Like after each episode, the makers of the show give you like three minutes. They recap a segment of an episode and they say, this scene was very important. We looked at all the other medieval battles that had been on screen and none of them really showed a sense of the craziness of it and the scope of the battlefield. And we wanted to do something better. When they were talking about the Battle of the Bastiness of it and the scope of the battlefield, and we wanted to do something better. When they were talking about the Battle of the Bastards episode in particular, I didn't watch that last year on purpose. I saved those for now.

So after each episode, I get those, and I'm like, oh, yeah, it's like new content. All right, keep it coming. Tell me more. Lady Mormont, she's like 10 years old or something. They did an exceptional job casting that little actress. She comes off harsh and cold, and like someone who knows what they're talking about. She delivers those lines well,

and someone else could have ruined that part, and it could have been another Sand Snake-like moment. And then they got that kid. When is the kid going to come back on screen? screen fuck i hope that kid's not on screen but this actress is so good that when ramsay and john snow like meet each other before the battle of the bastards and john snow's like well your men want to fight for you when they heard you wouldn't fight for them you know throws all that shit down lady mormont's over there on her horse like scowling like a mother she's got the sourest look on her face i just like screwed up i saw

preview shots of her from the upcoming season not a spoiler i like that she still looks like lady mormon i was totally ready for her to go bran and all of a sudden be like you know like oh yeah it turns out she just hit puberty that year now but i am i am but a nine-year-old boy yeah yeah what am i to do you're six feet tall you've got a beard you know she to me looks pretty much like she's supposed to you know i'm gonna go on a limb here and say they filmed that last year but they they intentionally filmed her parts ahead of time like knowing that right like i already know that i'm out on a limb here, so I'm guessing, but if

I were a show creator, I'd be like, um, that nine-year-old girl's probably gonna mature a little bit in the next 18 months. Let's get her stuff on screen now. Yeah, these girls are starting puberty. She's gonna have titties next year. I mean, all those hormones and chicken and stuff. Hmm.

You guys are cracking me up here. What are your actual predictions of what's going to happen? Because I know you had a couple, Kyle. And because they're predictions, they're not spoilers. All right, so Daenerys is going to land. I think Daenerys' main foil is going to be that his name sounds like urine. Yeah, it's Euron from the Iron Islands.

Theon's uncle. I think that they're going to have to fight the people in the Iron Islands. I don't know the geography of Game of Thrones well enough to know if that's even a possibility. But the Tyrells have joined that army and Dorne is going to join them as well. So you definitely got Cersei on one side, the Iron Islands on one side

and then you got pretty much everybody else on the opposite side with the Night King and the Dead Men kind of off to the side, not even really involved yet, right? So I think what's going to happen is humans are going to win in the end. I think the Dead Men get extinguished. This is a happy ending show for the most part, at least for the humanity in Westeros. But I think we're definitely going to get a shot where Bran takes control of the dragon.

That will happen. I would bet anything that that will happen. Bran will take control of the dragon, and he will burn so many White Walkers and these crazy passes as he's breathing fire down that it's going to be great. That will happen. I think that we're probably going to lose a lot of main characters. Tyrion could easily go. The Khaleesi could easily go. Jon Snow will not die. Jon Snow is going

to live on, even if it means him ascending to some, like, evolving to his fourth stage and becoming light or something. Jon Snow is not going to just take a sword and be out of the picture and no longer doing any good. Cersei's dead. and i'll tell you i guarantee um i don't i don't know any inside information but i guarantee your brother stabs her uh there's just been jamie's entire story jamie lannister

jamie jamie's entire story has been about this this moment where he stabbed the mad king and how nobody understood that he said that he was doing the right thing and that he's not a dishonorable man it's going to come full circle he's going to stab cersei in the back he's going to stab her and kill her there's going to be a moment where you think cersei is one at all jamie's going to kill her uh and uh so that's how i think things go cersei's defeated by jamie one way or another like maybe right at a moment where you thought she was going to win um the mountain's going to do some crazy shit get Get killed by his brother. Tyrion could easily die. Grey Worm's probably dead. Missandri

probably dies. That freaks Grey Worm out. He goes on a massacre. Like 300. This is a lot of predictions. Grey Worm or Melisandre. I don't care about either of them at all. If Tyrion, Arya, or Tyrion, Arya, or, I was going to say Jon, them at all if tyrian aria or um tyrian aria or i was gonna say john but you're right john's not

gonna die john's gonna come out on top in all this or in like a penultimate episode of the whole series he's gonna sacrifice himself and then daenerys will be the sole person of it all but one of those two things will happen i'm totally on board with your jamie prediction i hadn't considered that before but it's's fucking brilliant, and it's full circle. That's going to happen. Well done. If Tyrion dies, I'm going to be upset. The fortune teller said that she was going to be killed by her younger brother.

Oh, I didn't remember that. Oh, you're right. Did he? Oh, but everybody assumes. Did she? No, no. Yeah, she did. Everybody assumed at the time that it was going to be Tyrion.

Oh, yeah. I was attributed to Tyrion. Oh, I guarantee Jaime killed her now. Yeah, going to be Tyrion. Oh, yeah. I was attributed that to Tyrion. Oh, I guarantee Jaime killed her now. Yeah, Jaime killed her, bitch. If Tyrion dies, I'll be very aggravated. Like, Tyrion or Arya

could end up dying. I think chances are higher that Tyrion dies than Arya, but that would suck. Those are the best characters in the whole fucking show. I think Arya... Oh, no. Jaime's going to kill Cersei. I'd love to see Arya do it, though. I think Jon's going to die first.

Arya lives. The White Walkers are going to get through the wall through some mistake that Bran makes. I think that's going to happen. They're coming. He can't stop them. I think Daenerys is going to land on the shores of whatever, Westeros or something. And for the umpteenth time in the show will be dramatically weakened for some reason or another. You know, all her boats will catch fire.

The Dothraki will drown. I think Daenerys, because right now she's like OP. They're going to do something to bring her back down to the level of power that other people have where it's more of a struggle. Jaime's going to kill Cersei, but that won't happen this season. That'll happen next year. that other people have where it's more of a struggle um jamie's gonna kill seriously but that won't happen this season that'll happen next year yeah and um i had a couple more i don't know but i'm really looking forward to it we'll see what comes of it oh i do not watch in the long run john snow of course will be the king of the seven uh kingdoms and sansa will be queen of the north oh i like i do watch I do watch Game of Thrones I

just haven't seen it in like two years so I'm like surprised at the memory that's going on here this display I'm like we're really into it a lot of us have watched season six as a refresher to catch up soap opera I can tell this is like this is like your soap I got it this is one of them I think that we have an appropriate level of interest fair enough I would never I would never challenge that. Yeah. It's not like I have a room of my house devoted to the show or something. I'm just sitting here and it's like, Miro! Miro!

I mean, if I had a map of Westeros right behind me, you might have cakes. Yeah. If I had a Stark shield hanging in my house, that might be different. Well, had I known that this was reading ahead of time, I could have taken the refresher course, guys. This guy doesn't even know about Essos.

Yeah, I think Euron's not going to play a big role. I bet he gets smacked down pretty early. Euron has a thousand ships. Euron has as big of a fleet as the Khaleesi does, or very similar. The Khaleesi's not going to partner with him, and her dragons are going to turn out. No, she's not going to partner with him.

She's going to have to do battle with him. Maybe that's the event that puts her power index in line with the rest of Westeros. I would agree with you on the power index if this were last season. But the thing is, because they've done it a couple times, she always gets OP and then has to be nerfed a bit. But this time around, against the Army of the Dead, she might just be about right. I feel like if you go Khaleesi versus Army of the Dead, all right, I think we got this. We got three dragons. We got, I don't know, 50,000 cavalrymen from the Dothraki.

Dothraki Screamers. Screamers. And we've got the Second Sons, and we've got a Legion of the Unsullied. We should be able to take the dead men on now. But you're right. Something's going to happen between then and there that I think willion of the Unsullied. We should be able to take the dead men on now. But you're right. Something's going to happen between then and there that I think will dumb her down a little bit and then she's going to have joined forces with Jon Snow.

Jon Snow doesn't have an army right now. See, that's the thing about Jon Snow. He's just up there in Winterfell. He just lost what he had. He had a 2,000-man army that was mostly wildlings. Well, it got a little better because all those people, because Lady Mormont shamed them all into having... The north has joined with him you're absolutely right i take that back all the houses have come to him the mandalas and the glovers and stuff i i didn't take that

into account you're absolutely right the call john snow's the king of the north you're absolutely right yeah um little finger is gonna be a fucking real fly in the ointment this season i'm afraid i i meant to call out he's gonna die in the next years. I don't think he lives to the end of Game of Thrones. No, he doesn't. I would agree with you there. And I bet it's Sansa who leads to his death. She's been manipulated him over time. She holds him

responsible for the raping that she suffered at the hands of Ramsay Bolton. And I bet that she gets her comeuppance and orchestrates Littlefinger's death. I agree with all of that. I think he dies when he's doing his character voice badly, like he tends to do, where he's Irish in some scenes. And then in other scenes, he's just, well, I suppose that's off the table as well.

It's like, that's not what you sounded like two scenes ago. Lucky charms for me. You didn't sound like that at all. That's not what you sounded like two scenes ago. You didn't sound like that at all. Does that bother anybody else in the show? Where Littlefinger goes from Irish sometimes to just saying things like this. Where yesh is...

I don't know. It's like a watered-down Sean Connery in sometimes. The veil is mine. That's pretty good Sean Connery, I thought. Those are my favorite SNL skits, the ones where they have Celebrity Jeopardy and you got, what's his name, playing Sean Connery.

You're going to stay, go mustache, and your greasy hair. Will Ferrell's like, as we said before the show, there will be no ethnic slurs. I don't understand it. Why is Sean Connery supposed to be so stupid? And why does he hate Alex Trebek?

I think the point was that they were doing Celebrity Jeopardy! And they just decided to make him incredibly irate and cruel to Trebek and racist. And they made, you know, what's his name that does the fucking, who's the other? He's got the hat. He's got the hat on. I don't know why they made it. Just because it's funny. I don't think Connery's a racist or belligerent or anything, but he definitely hates Alex Trebek.

Yes, he does. Let me tell everyone about these PKA hats. Last week, we talked about we had 100 of those to sell in a limited run. And Chiz has informed me to head over to hats.painkilleralready.net to get one of the new hats.

Last week began this promotion, and before the end of Saturday, we had already sold out of the 100 limited run. So we're going to extend that, and now it's an additional 50 hats. So make sure if you wanted a hat to go on over while we still have some to go. They're super high quality, and we've got really fast shipping to our European

listeners compared to other merchandise manufacturers. But a lot of people are complaining that they didn't get a chance at a hat because they're not Patreons. They don't get to show early like those guys do. So, you know, 50 more for you guys. That's a good idea. 49. Thank you very much for 49.

You're getting one from my own personal supply. Yeah, you signed that sumbitch, man. Who is this motherfucker? Draw a dick on you sign that sumbitch, man. You motherfucker. Draw a dick on it or something. I mean, whatever. You're into that. I remember one time I was at some gaming event, and I signed somebody's Xbox.

They took the front cover off and brought it. And I was like, that's pretty cool. I want an Xbox signed by Woody's Gamer Tag. I don't know why I thought that, but I was like, oh, wait a minute. I'm Woody's Gamer Tag, but it's not cool at all to sign your own Xbox. Ah, now it's just vandalizing my own thing.

I go to a LAN party in Portland, Oregon every once in a while, and people always bring in their sides of their cases and have me sign them, and it's weird now, because now I go there, and it's like you walk around, and it's like, you know, every aisle has at least one or two cases of my signature on the side of it, and now it's bizarre being there for some reason. Like, it's bizarre being there for some reason.

Like, it's weird being there now that my signature is, like, proliferated across this room of 500 computers. It is kind of cool. Now people are buying used computers. What's that? I said now people are buying, like, used computers and being like, why did this asshole write his name on the side?

Like, what is wrong with that? I actually signed it both ways. I always put Jerry Berg and then I put Barnacles underneath it. is there one in the same so i'm not that creative woody you had a woody signature right that you did that you worked on i i feel like i remember you saying something like that i might be just making something up i what i'd write is control the engagement and then like a underneath that dash Woody's GamerTagger dash Woody. I got pretty good.

My handwriting's awful, right? But I can write that well. And if you sign a t-shirt or something, there's some planning that goes into it. You can't just make a six or something. Maybe you can, but I would go and make sure that I held the shirt properly. I could write control the engagement

neatly, even on a t-shirt. That was all I really ever figured out. My shit looks different every time I sign it, so I'm pretty sure it'll never be authentifiable. I don't think any two signatures look alike. So, Kyle had

an O. You think McGregor is going back to the UFC? Yes, I think McGregor will go back to UFC. And I think that because I see on that poster behind him, and he pointed it out as well, he's got a Conor McGregor Productions or whatever it is, something like that. He's very proud of it. Yeah, he is. He should be. Not for what it is right now, but for the fact that he got it up on that poster

right next to Mayweather Productions and right next to Showtime and all that shit. That's a big deal. I think he's going to be able to negotiate for a bigger piece of the pie in the future. And I think he'll be okay. I think it'll keep him involved. He'll fight for $10 million, even if he's worth $100 million.

I think he will. I just think he will. I think Mayweather did last time. I'm sorry to cut you off, but Mayweather fought against Pacquiao for something crazy. I'm going to call it $100 million. I don't know what it was. And then he went up against some guy I don't even know, like Cuccio or something.

And I think he earned $10, $15 million because not every fight is Pacquiao. I don't know about his pay-per-view numbers. I know in boxing the the split is a lot different so like if if we make 300 million dollars then 125 million of it's probably one going to or then 250 is probably going to the fighters and only 50 is left over for showtime ufc is kind of the the opposite of that it seems um you could argue which is a better money-making venture it seems like the ufc i remember it was just a couple of years ago i remember dana white defending himself on ufc from people who were showing him boxing pay-per-view they were like look at your pay-per-view numbers

steadily going down every year gsp is gone like look at these boxing numbers mayweather just did this and it looked bad because ufc was going this way and boxing was going this way and dana was like you don't know what the fuck you're talking about you don't know the fuck and of course that's what he's going to say whether he saw it coming or not but then like three or four superstars later and about I don't know five gigantic UFC events later like they're killing it boxing is suffering it's the complete opposite now McGregor is the biggest combat athlete in the world he's bigger than Mayweather he is the a-side it's certainly at these promotional tours and that is completely beyond uh discussion like when he goes on the count of three say fuck the mayweathers and you hear 20 out of

22 000 people go fuck the mayweathers it's clear who's like the the a side at that event i think you're right i think connor is the a side i don't think he's getting the a money but for what connor it's weird. He negotiates with the UFC really well, breaks records and stuff. But with Mayweather, he just seemed to roll over. Like, oh, what gloves do you want? That's fine. More gloves?

That's fine. How long do you want the rounds to be? How big do you want the ring to be? Mayweather got everything he asked for, it seems. Connor feels like the fighting part of it is not worth negotiating and i wonder if you know that leads to his downfall we'll see we'll see is his hundred millionaire downfall strong point strong point next on vh1 how to be a winner yeah i just let him beat me up for a little while now i'm with 100 million he kind of took a reprieve

from the UFC, and he's like, watch their numbers. He's like, you see if I'm the draw. See how they do when I'm gone. They've hardly had an event I'm excited about with Conor gone. And it's John Jones is gone, and Ronda's gone. John Jones is coming this week. Jones-Cornier.

John Jones has been gone. And Ronda's sort of gone, and Conor has been gone. And Ronda's sort of gone. And Connor has been gone. Or maybe gone for good. So, you know, they lost some stars. But UFC does this all the time. You know, as you just mentioned, when GSP left, that was his biggest guy. Chuck Liddell retired.

They always seem to be, you know, hey, your biggest star is old or left. And there's a new one coming. Yeah, there's always a new one coming. Yeah, there's always a fresh group of people. I can't make it. What was the girl who beat up the girl the other day and the loser shat herself? I just stumbled upon. Oh, yeah, we talked about that.

Yeah, I watched a previous weigh-in of her, and god damn, she is fit. She, like, you know, know they pose off she gets up there takes off her clothes and like gets on the scale and flexes and then she turns around and gives him the ass shot she's like like she's a model like like first the front and now the back she's got a big old booty and the crowd's like yeah just whistles and stuff and her opponents are they're like god damn it and like like and this is the same chick who was on the mic last week a little beaten and bruised although she'd won the fight she's going like yeah i'm just not young enough and pretty enough i guess to get promoted the way

some of these other people do and i was thinking like i think you are i think her name's like uh paris or something but any in any case i she's very fit i never thought ronda was as hot as the rest of the world seemed to you see her vagina from the sports illustrated uh leak i was about to show you her vagina on my on my phone but are you looking for way in ronda was being amazingly hot i thought she was illustrated uh like this is from the sportsrated shoot, but they just don't crop out or pussy. Oh, what website is that on? I mean, there's so many. I start with Bing.

Turn that safe search off. Dude, Bing, man. Bing is the engine for that. You know, image search Ronda Rousey Sports Illustrated leak. And there are three images. Two are side boob with a little nipple and one is full, like, straight on vagina. Alright, well, I'll check it out.

Of course. I'm obligated to. Still searching. I found one, but it's not a very clear view. I found the edited version. Safe search moderate. Oh oh that will not save searches off huh is she sitting on a tree I hope she's standing it's the one who is like purple and blue in the

background she's facing the camera flat, you know, straight on. Yeah, this is all just stuff painted on her, so you can tell she's naked. Yeah. Well, you guys want to call it a show? Not before Woody sees her vagina, right?

Yeah, we gotta get the reaction. I'm still looking. Oh, okay. Oh, Ronda Rousey vagina. It's a suggested search. Was it really? Ronda Rousey wardrobe malfunction uncensored. How about this? I will text it to you right now.

This is the fucking ticket. What am I thinking? Oh, Ronda Rousey vagina. I thought watching a scramble to find it was half the fun. Yeah, whenever I see there's something like that, I'm like, ah, let's just preserve this for posterity here in the memory banks of the old telephone. Yeah, I just sent that to you guys.

All right. In case you're wondering, that does meet the Kyle vagina specification. Oh, I'm glad you answered that question because I would have been curious. Well, I'm sure she'll be happy to know that her badge is good enough. Oh, yeah. Hit me up, Rondé. It's on. That'll do.

I know that's what you've always wanted to hear. That's what she wants. That'll do. Well, for closing out, I want to tell everyone about a little podcast. Someone has their phone too close to the mic. That's me again. What happens when the best athletes in the world lose? The Secret to Victory is a new podcast from Gatorade and Gimlet Creative

about how the best athletes in the world use defeat to fuel a win. Episodes feature Serena Williams, Peyton Manning, Eli Manning, Matt Orion, JJ Watt, Carl Anthony Towns, Kyle Schwerber, and the people that know them best. Visit Gatorade.com slash podcast to listen now or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Awesome. Check them out.

Alright. And also... Attachment. Ah. And before we give the final word on the vagina, Jerry, where can everybody find you in all your things? You can find me over at barnerd.com

or youtube.com forward slash barnacles1 whichever one you feel like typing. Go visit both. Also over on Twitch, too. You're going to lose. I should mention that, huh? He's on the wall. He just can't read. Thanks for coming on and sticking around the whole time.

No, it was fun, man. I love being on here. Good times. Let's not take a three-year break. Maybe we'll just go two years next time. PKA 343.