Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #350

Episode Date: September 8, 2017

This week on PKA, Filthy Robot is back to shine! The guys discuss Snoop Dogg being bad at his new UFC gig and trashing Conor McGregor, the catastrophic events of Hurricane Harvey hitting Houston and Taylor dishes more Tinder stories for us!

painkiller already episode 350 with our guest filthy robot kyle robot got a uh got a few uh sponsors tonight smart mouth nature box movement watches dollar shave club hello fresh uh and draft kings so uh we'll talk more about each of those later in the show there are links in the description if you just can't wait but yeah we got our guest filthy robot yes mr robot how you doing it gets worse and worse every time it was the sim rapist at one point. Oh, you're still bad in my Skype thing? I rename everyone on my Skype because sometimes it gets shared accidentally and I don't want to leak it. So, you know, like, whatever.

FPS McDuck is not Kyle's real Skype handle. But if you were to see my Skype, you would think it was. Yeah. Man, we got a lot to talk about this week uh lots of disasters lots of uh crazy stuff going on in the news lots of shitty people but um i found this green text on reddit for those who don't know it's you know this thing on uh 4chan some of them are made up i'm sure but some of them are just so some of them are made up yeah of course some but some of them are just so specific and detailed that you're like, ah, I think that shit happened.

It's basically people describing things that have happened to them, and often they're awkward or humiliating. Well, here we go. This one's called The Worst Sex Story. This was in The Worst Sex Story's thread. Be me, desperate and horny. Landed a solid 6 out of 10 body, 5 out of 10 face in the pub. This guy's European.

She's a single mother, but what the fuck? Get back to my place. Turn off the lights because really she's a 5 out of 10. That's being generous. We get to work. Bit of foreplay. I needed it more than she did. Sucking on her tits. Get a mouthful of milk.

The kid must be younger than i thought swallow jesus christ that's nasty it's like fucking gone sour milk or something guess she stopped breastfeeding a while ago and that shit went off in her tits what do i know i'm not a fucking doctor have have a very forgettable sexual experience and and go to sleep. Wake up the next morning, turn over to check out on my conquest. She's even worse than I remember. Decent tits, though. Wait, what's that?

Right there on her left tit. It's a huge, red, angry-looking, freshly-drained boil. Remember the mouthful of milk from the last night? Throw up all over. Oh. Oh. Ew. I don't like... Okay, that's one way to start

the show. With a boil. With a tit boil. How can you not notice that... See, you were saying this is probably real. It's probably not real because I've never met anyone who in who in like a gross situation the only time is in movies and tv when someone is standing there and sees like dog poop like somebody licking it and then they go oh that doesn't happen in real

life you don't remember something gross and then vomit or at least i don't do any of you remember gross things and feel like you're gonna vomit because it has to be in the moment for me to i'm thinking a couple things here first is that alcohol seems to be a really major contributing factor here so you can imagine let's say he had a really rough night the night before in terms of drinking he wakes up like he's on the border of tossing his stomach anyways and then he looks down and sees this i could see that maybe maybe pushing someone over the edge yeah what thing what kind of things will make you vomit smells uh what would that oh smells what smells get you uh the the

worst of it all and i'm a little better now than young woody but even in like my 20s somebody vomits i want to vomit too and one time even did and it's like well now i've just contributed to the problem you know someone more capable is gonna have to deal with this yeah dog shit the one that always gets me is dip spit sitting in a bottle or a cup i have a plenty of friends and from mizara who use chewing tobacco and dip and i still remember like in high school or college when we come back for breaks and we'd party somewhere and i'd be cleaning up the next morning because a bunch of bums left and i would pick up like dozens of cups full of just your tissue or paper towel down there to soak up

the spit and then just soaked in rancid nasty smelling it's got a perverse mint smell because they put mint in it so the person chewing is It's like, oh, my breath probably smells like mint. It's like, no, you smell like an asshole. You smell horrible. And I can still remember picking those up like this and just walk into the trash can like trying not to vomit. It's the worst smell. And it's just knowing that that entire thing of

liquid is somebody else's fucking congealed spit. That they left in a cup in your house. If I peed in a cup at your house, Filthy, you would have every fucking right to throw that pee in my- Well, you would want to do that and get it all over your house more.

You would have every right to kick me out and never invite me back again. That's the level of disrespect I see with leaving a red Solo cup full of fucking spit on someone else's counter. I'll get Taylor on this one. I think there is a huge disconnect by how gross, how gross chewing tobacco is

and how cool people who chew tobacco think they are. I think in their head, I'm pretty much a cowboy here, right? I bet all these chicks are digging me and my spit can and that. But no, in reality anyone who's not chewing is thinking that you are disgusting. You mentioned pee pee i was thinking poop if i sat there and like all right i'm just gonna take the top off of this beer can and take tiny shits into it all night long what you're saying happens my dad uh my dad volunteers to do uh cleanup he's down in florida

and he does uh kind of cleanup of the local beach areas and whatnot. And he says some of the stuff he's told me about that is some of the nastiest shit I've ever heard. And it is because of that because people have like poop buckets that they leave out there. So you know he's out there as a volunteer like picking up trash from other people's stuff. And occasionally get these full containers of human fucking shit. Oh! That's not how you do it! Okay. Coming from a beach town, this is how you handle a dirty beach. One,

tractors. Tractors come by, sweep that shit, and clean it up. They've got tools for it. Two, misbehaving children. If you have a beach town, you surely have more than enough underage drinkers and vandals and all that other stuff. You catch them before their vacation even ends. You get them out there

cleaning the beach the next morning, serving their penance and uh it's called diversion i think and yes i'm not sure it's exactly the the beach it's the fishing areas the the bridge areas the kind of like anywhere where a man yeah shit in a bucket and leave it around have you guys ever watched um an idiot abroad with carl yeah i've seen it so he does something similar to that or discovers that poop bucket thing but unlike being in florida where that that sounds like a new level ring of hell you know that was one of like dante's fifth level i think florida shit buckets but this up here was uh point barrow the most northern city in alaska and these people don't have running water they live in a constant freezing temperature and the way they take care of their shits and their Barrow, the most northern city in Alaska. And these people don't have running water.

They live in a constant freezing temperature. And the way they take care of their shits and their pisses is they deliver what's called honey buckets, which are big Home Depot five gallon buckets that are plastic. And it's a guy in a big trash truck. And he goes and he gives another bucket to some random Eskimo. And then the Eskimo gives him, is Eskimo fine? It's fine. And the Eskimo gives him back a bucket full of frozen shit. Frozen shit. And then they have to take the bucket and dump it into there and you can just

see frozen into weird shapes like shit. That sounds so much less bad than warm shit. Like frozen, like that stuff that's not going to. Like, that stuff, that's not going to be, like, rotting. The hotter and more humid it is,

the more disgusting the remaining shit is. Like, Dag the dog one time, I've told this story before, but, like, we left him in his kennel and went out to, like, grab, like, sodas and come back. We were gone for an hour. He freaked out in his kennel and, like to like grab like sodas and come back we were gone for an hour he freaked out in his kennel and like ate his cushion and then vomited his cushion up and then ate the cushion

vomit and then shit the vomit cushion out and then ate some of the vomit cushion shit that he had shat out and then vomited it all up again into like his special dog bowl and like when we got back it reeked in a way that i can't describe and like kitty was like i'll clean the water bowl because it was one of those water bowls where it like makes a funnel and comes down it's a it's a dog bowl you can't overturn and spill because there's a funnel that goes down if that makes sense down into it and if you flip it over it just supports the water on the inside anyway and that thing's full of shit so you have to like pry it open because it's two parts and like clean it out with this outside by the hose or whatever but i get the job of taking the

kennel outside and completely disassembling it and hosing it and scrubbing it and the whole time i'm vomiting like i didn't even like you know sometimes when you're doing something awful your own you know flavor to the mix yeah yeah sometimes you'll gag but and you'll like run away from the situation and like get your bearings back and then go back in. It's a chemical spill. No, no, no. I was like, we might as well just knock this out. So as I'm cleaning, I'm just vomiting onto the surface myself.

Because why not? We're just adding to the mix. And then I clean my own vomit up. And clean more vomit. That was the worst thinking vomit-inducing thing I've ever felt. Did he get quiet for everyone? Yeah, I don't know what happened, but your audio got very quiet. To Kyle's point earlier, being frozen is not as gross.

Someone in my universe, I don't want to out them, but friends or family, they had a dog who would routinely do this in the winter. He would poop, and then days later would come back, pick up the poop and run around with it like a cigar. And that was like his thing. And it was almost adorable to see that like it was like a puppy running around with a little frozen poop cigar. This is what I think of every time I see some pet owner with a dog and they're like licking the dogs licking them on the face and they're like kissing the dog Back and I'm think this is what I think of this is exactly what comes to my mind Like the things I've seen dogs do with those mouths. I'm just I'm just not convinced

This is in your best interest to go that way. Yeah, it's like you'll watch a YouTube video of a dog And I'll be like this is Samson who saved six firefighters from a burning building It'll just show Samson sitting there well behaved and you're like man they really are man's best friend brilliant beasts we don't give them enough credit and then you see every other dog in your life 100 of the time and it's like oh there's a little fight oh eating shit that's probably a once in a while thing oh there's a little you know fluffy steve oh licking his own his own asshole oh no, he's pooping and then eating it. Okay, all right, that's what he does. If anything, we give dogs too much credit.

So I'm going back on the superhuman thing there. And this is just about intelligence. I think we give dogs a little too much intellect credit. It doesn't know why it's sitting. It just knows that there's the potential for food. It doesn't do it because it wants to make you happy. Really, right? I think it does. Or maybe it does no i think kyle you're still very quiet i and it's not people talking over you it seems like it's on your side yeah and it happened very suddenly

like it just started yeah you had during conversation you just it went quiet yeah like almost inaudible now it's better no it's still not better huh it's very quiet yeah yeah still very quiet but yeah i think you're probably right dogs they do stuff to make us happy i already did that hmm third thing well we had a talking about frozen shit just one more kind of thing to add to that oh yeah this is not going to be a monetized video i can see this coming We had a, talking about frozen shit, just one more kind of thing to add to that. Oh yeah, this is not going to be a monetized video. I can see this coming.

We kicked off with Kyle's Greed Tech story. There's no chance of that. I was going to ask you guys, I was wondering, because I know you guys do all the sponsored stuff instead. I was wondering if that was just maybe not a concern for you because it feels like YouTube as its current system is never going to be your friend. It's not much of a friend.

You know what? I'll say this. People are curious. Every time I get demonetized, I fight it. And I win almost 100% of the time. But then for some reason, I barely get it. I'll get like $5. And I'm like, well, I guess it's technically monetized.

But there will be videos that get almost nothing. And, uh, yeah, no, that's how it goes down. It happened to the last PKN we released and it just doesn't earn much. And they just,

they, they really, they're not giving you the monetization back. They're just like, Oh, well now I'll monetize it. And then just giving you like, what,

like a shit CPM or only monetizing the last 3 000 views or in my head it's like all right we'll compromise we'll change the uh the little dollar sign yellow to green will that make you happy nothing else changes but you think you won your your appeal now when you scroll down video manager it'll look like you got everything spick and span but not really though not really yeah oh man it used to be so easy just to monetize everything i haven't uploaded a video in so long you know i haven't had trouble monetizing but man that does suck there's got to i feel like it should almost be a bigger deal than what it is as far as like the small youtubers getting demonetized like if

you only have a quarter million subs or something, that could be the difference between, oh, I have a good job where I'm making more money, and then suddenly, oh, no, it looks like I need to go to Subway. Yeah, I'm smaller than a quarter million. Is that happening to you? Yep, it is happening to me. I'm getting lots of random flags on my YouTube for stuff, and I can't tell the difference.

I am fighting every one of them, yep. Do you win? I went back and I'm winning most of them. I went back and compared some of the ones that they're like, we did a manual review of this and you're not being monitored. And this is still not appropriate. And I try to compare that to ones because they're often being the same series, like a game series of like with the same people and the same person, the same stuff we're talking about. And I can't tell the difference between them, like the ones that are being monetized and not being monetized. And I have the life of me don't know why some are being hit and some aren't.

You think you're being monetized? Yeah, I feel like i'm still quiet right no you're good you sound better now is it bad words typically like you just throw in an s word or an f word that'll that's in most of my videos quite honestly like so like that's what i'm saying like it's not the difference like that isn't enough in of itself or finity in of itself is not enough to to demonetize that so i'm not quite sure what the difference is yet i think it's the new system they rolled out honestly but it's not perfect yet so i watch a youtuber that sucks because i know why pka gets demonetized yeah sometimes it's appropriate it's never like but we talked about animals you know having sex with people like what and put it in the title like jake the garden snake is a moto vlogger he makes a motorcycle videos mostly he

does a little paramotor stuff, which I also enjoy. But he had a series called like the Bolt Shit On series. And now it's all crossed out. It's the Bolt Stuff On series. And he like plays chicken sounds and stuff when he says the title of it. And he's like, hey, it's YouTube 2017. So, you know, you got to make a living. What a depressing step backwards.

Going from like being able to say anything you want, no matter how silly and stupid and inane. Like, everything I say on this whole show, just ridiculous silliness. And now they're like, oh, no, you uploaded a, what, a Civ game. No monetization for you. You're just caught in the crossfire. Sucks to suck.

Sorry. It is, like, a huge step backwards backwards it's like going back to traditional media not like being the internet which is supposed to be the wild west of this there was always supposed to be stuff anyways i think i for certain on twitch i'm not so sure about youtube you can flag your stuff as adult content and otherwise otherwise appropriate for 18 and above or not and my stuff has always been flagged 18 plus because i want to have the ability to talk about what I want and talk about how I want anytime pretty much. And it's not like I'm going super extreme content out there, but it still seems strange

that some of it's getting flagged. I'm really hoping this is short term as they get this new system kind of rolled out and sorted out and it's going to get better. Because I know it's a continuation of that, the shit that happened earlier this year, right? With the inappropriate content being put out and this is now there yeah and this is being this is being their response to deal with that which is probably a step in the right direction but

shit the moment it's not not real good i see both yeah i've watched your videos before and i know that at no point are you like all right by turn 50 i'm gonna want to get my my chariot army over there and as i'm doing, let's take a moment to talk about the Jews. And the way they're ruling the world. And it's like, no! It's not like that. You're telling people how to win games and showing them. It's just baffling

that it's demonetized. Yeah, it is kind of baffling. What is this that you just showed us here, Kyle? This is someone who should be demonetized, alright? So for those who don't know, the UFC hired Snoop Dogg not too long ago to do sort of a like a ufc based kind of podcast with uriah faber and they talk about everything ufc and after daniel cormier got head kicked knocked out and you know in the post-fight interview he's crying in the ring probably because this was such a huge emotional letdown for him but also because the man was concussed and snoop went off on like

that's not how a man behaves you know like like really clowning on him for crying when this guy is you know a rapper right like like and he was he's not even a gangster rapper like he did like i remember that uh that easy song yeah yeah he was yeah and and a lot of people did not like that and called for this guy to be fired and i was like well maybe that's a little premature he doesn't really know what he's talking about but after the conor mcgregor fight this is what he put on instagram if we want to check this out are we watching this together yeah yeah yep so give me just a moment wow look at my freeze frame i looked aggressive or something for a second there. All right.

Are you guys ready? Yeah. Three, two, one, play. 50 and 0, nigga. The motherfucking champ, nigga. 50 and 0. Fuck that motherfucking punk ass from McGregor, you bitch. Fuck him.

Motherfucking champ, nigga. Yeah, nigga! That's what you get for coming to a motherfucking gang fight with a butter knife, you bitch-ass motherfucker! Fuck you, nigga! Money team! Champ, nigga!

Where the party at, Floyd? Yeah! Hi, honey! Hi, honey! Talk to me, shit, now. I got one more real love for you. 50 and 0, nigga. Wow.

So he's not exactly Team UFC, as you can see. He got more. Team Money Team. So if I'm Dane White, I can totally suggest goes and puts himself a Team Money podcast to go do, which might be troubling because Floyd's never going to fight again. I would fire that guy after that. This would be like if there were constant—and this is before the pedophilia thing, Jared Fogle. This would be like if every other day there was another picture of Jared Fogle out there

hiding a Quiznos sandwich in a Subway wrapper or a Penn Station one. That doesn't sound like a good way to keep people on your side. Fuck you, Subway! Schlatzkies is toasted! Toasted subs, motherfucker! Yeah! So, do you think he's going to get fired, Snoop Dogg? I hope so.

There's a lot of people calling for it. Who knows? I've watched a fired, Snoop Dogg? I hope so. There's a lot of people calling for it. Who knows? I've watched a lot of Snoop Dogg stuff. And aside from this, which I really didn't like, he's also really bad. He doesn't seem to be much of a fan. He doesn't, far be it from me to criticize a guy for getting names wrong, but he does that. He doesn't seem to know much about fighting.

I don't know why he's there and he just well i mean even you don't have i'm not expecting him to be a fighter but like you know brian callahan offers much better insight onto this and they always give him shit about it there are a lot of people everybody is better at it than he is and that and plus you know tearing down a guy who lost who fought pretty bravely it it makes you want to attack that guy you know like if i real tailor up and down for being too white then they're all going to look at how white i am right that that's what you do if i say this guy is not a man then they're going to find some way

that i'm not a man and that it makes me want to do it too. It's like, Snoop, how are you calling McGregor a pussy? How are you calling Cormier a sissy? Yeah, he's throwing a lot of stones from his glass house, basically. Yeah. And also, maybe not that useful in a serious way. I mean, I guess I don't really understand what his position is supposed to be. He's a commentator of some sort, right? Like this is some production he's creating for this?

understand what his position is supposed to be he's a commentator of some sort right like this is this is some production he's creating for this or this instagram post this instagram post is just him doing his thing as a as an individual and as a private citizen on his instagram but he has like a podcast where he's sitting behind a desk with a with a ufc fighter and they discuss the ufc and they are employees of the ufc in that regard i'm sure there's some sort of clause in his contract where like you know if you start defaming the ufc or its representatives you know that it's that's it i swear i've seen him suggest fights between people in like different weight classes and stuff and it's just like that guy's 30 pounds heavier than that guy they're not gonna fight like it the fact that you don't know that like

the fact that you don't know addition tells me something about your division skills right the fact that you can't subtract tells me a lot about your algebra and that's what i get out of his podcast he doesn't know anything and it frustrates me he's terrible so so i yeah i i hope they fire him because i don't think he's good for the ufc uh they could they could get someone else to to get in there who knows what they're talking about maybe i kind of like the idea of having a novice and having an expert side by side. Because what you get there is the novice will time in and time out ask the questions that the average fan who's a novice wants to know. And then the expert comes in. But Snoop Dogg just doesn't seem to...

Snoop Dogg's not just playing ignorant. He's just kind of ignorant and collecting a check. That's what it looks like from the outside looking in. burr is a casual fan but he's not disrespectful to all the fighters you know it he he's pretty cool i like the way i'd love bill yeah give that job to bill burr i'd fucking watch that yeah i'll tune in for that bill burr in your eye of favor yeah that'd be it'd be better if they had like an alternate stream where you could get like the mature stream and it just allowed bill to say whatever he wanted about whoever you know like that that's what i would want because i i like

joe rogan a lot he's good at the ufc thing you can tell he really really cares about it it's his passion or at least one of them but i don't know like he's it's a shame it's not the podcast version of joe rogan as much as just the, and here comes the pitch version of Joe Rogan, that kind of commentator. It seems like UFC, if there's going to be a sport where you can have some wild and crazy announcers that are saying silly stuff, it's got to be the ultimate fighting championship, right? Just go balls to the wall. Everybody would love that. You might not know. You want it done like Mexican soccer.

I've never watched Mexican soccer. I'll take your word for it. Joe Rogan does something called a companion podcast. So he doesn't work every, every fight. And, uh, but he's, he's a genuinely a huge MMA fan.

He studied, you know, he practices, et cetera. So when he's not doing that fight, when he's not in Japan, he just from his, he'll get like Brandon Schwab and Brian Callahan and they'll do the show casually.

And I liked it at first. But after a while, you're like, you know, they're barely watching this event. Like they stopped paying attention mid-fight. You know, they just got one eye on it and the other eye they're talking about, I don't know, girls or something. Yeah, the podcast version of Joe Rogan might not be what everybody wants. It's what I like, though. I like watching those companion podcasts because it is what you just said.

They're all in there. And he says right off the bat in those things, he's like, look, we're not going to be following every punch and every kick. We're going to be bullshitting and talking over the fight and having a good time here. You're kind of getting a bird's eye view of us chilling and watching a fight's eye view of like us chilling and hanging

out yeah of us chilling and watching a fight and i really dig that every time he does one i just mute you know my television and and i'm like let's get joe rogan and schwab and brian callan uh in here talking i i like schwab everybody else seems to hate him there's there seems to be a huge amount of people who despise that guy you know they that guy. He'll be doing his analysis or something, and down in the comments it'll be like, it's amazing what a man with brain damage can do. They really shit on him. Because I think he speaks a lot of generalities and cliches,

and he doesn't really break things down the way an analyst often would. He's not talking about how many strikes per minute or how many power punches versus this or that or footwork. He's kind of the voice for a casual fan. What you're looking at here is passion. That's a lot of passion he's got there. You can tell his training's paying off, that level of stuff. It really comes down to the intangibles here.

Lots of cliches. The boring shit. There's that guy. It's not cliches to me asibles here. Lots of cliches. The boring shit. There's that guy. It's not cliches to me as much as it is catchphrases. I wish I could rip some off the top of my head. He'll say the same thing. You might be surprised. It's one of his memes.

I like him. I don't see much to complain about. Those shoes. I love the shoes. You like those Gucci boots? I don't actually like the boots. I like that he wore the boots. I think they're funny. And as a guy on my TV,

I like funny stuff. What about the skinny jeans? Same thing. Are these straight leg jeans? They are so tight. Skinny, skinny jeans to the point where they're skin tight on his calves, behind his knee, on his thighs. And then to top it off, he sits like a woman. Like he crosses his legs like this instead of like that.

Like he doesn't make like a right angle when he like kicks his right leg over the left. He like folds it over like he doesn't have a penis. And he's like, yeah, this is how I sit. This is how I sit. I've never understood that the the lady fold is not nearly as comfortable as the tried-and-true right angle sit yeah everybody knows that and you get a nice shelf for your arm with the right angles there's just no benefits do it right now it's excellent I put my hand on my knee kind of prop myself up the benefits when you're wearing a skirt that's when you get the benefits of the other route i hear you yeah yeah you gotta hide your vagina and i i it sometimes it kind of looks like

that's what your father's doing i i don't care for the the skinny jeans and i didn't i didn't love those boots i thought those were pretty silly i don't know what he's what he's going for uh what image he's trying to put out there because I always saw him as a heavyweight baller. That guy beat Crowe, right? I kind of wanted him to be a little more on the... I don't know.

Is this Brendan Schwab? Those are not the shoes. But those are okay, actually. Those are like some high-top I don't know, looks like gator skin to me. Maybe Gucci. He's got a caveman coffee shirt sneakers have you ever see this this uh photo will this photo be included for them yeah okay okay so i don't need to describe that because i feel like those are bright red gator skin fucking shoes are kind of i was trying to get the actual shoes they're on his instagram for some reason reason, I feel like when I –

Brendan Schwab's shoes are causing my computer problems, and they're making the audio skip, I think. And sometimes I hear it, and it doesn't translate to the show. But that was where it did. Anyway, here's the shoe. These are not the shoes, though. I found them. I'll link you up.

It's working great now. So apparently this shoe fixes the audio. I don't know. Isn't caveman coffee like an Alex Jones kind of thing? That's just caveman. I don't think it's the same thing. Caveman. That's them. Yeah, these are the shoes he wore to the Conor McGregor fight.

Right off the bat, I feel like he's mixing silver and gold in the same shoe. He is. That's not cool. But yeah, it's like a cross between. I've never even heard that, Woody. What is mixing silver and gold in the same shoe? I've never even heard that expression. You don't do that.

No, you don't wear silver and gold together. You have to be all one or the other. It's bad fashion. I don't know. But it's a mix between a kilt, a King Jong Il-Site shoe, and a Converse All-Star. Yeah.

He looks like a Game of Thrones pimp. They're absurd. There's buckles, and there's a V. If it was the People's Democratic Republic of Scotland, this is what their military would wear. Maybe goose steps down the street four inches shorter than the people in Ireland or whatever. These shoes are ridiculous. Off the charts.

Wacky. I will give you that. Having said that, if you work in entertainment, sometimes you wear ridiculous off-the-shelf wacky stuff. And here you go. He's Brendan Schwab, not Lady Gaga. He can't just show up covered in these are incredibly ugly shoes these are horrible he used these as part of his excuse for who i like like when nate diaz was like talking shit to him like like he's like dude i'm wearing gucci boots and skinny

jeans i'm not ready to throw down here like you're in sweats he's here over there like giving me the double bird like calling out my manhood in the hallway and i'm i am not prepared for this i remember when wander vonderlei silver fought chael sunnan like at the uh ultimate fighter thing so they were coaches they weren't there to fight they were there to like train these people in the ultimate fighter it's a reality show and uh chael sunnan wasn't like vonderlei for whatever reason decided today i'm gonna try to kick chael sonnen's ass so chael sonnen is wearing flip-flops and and like whatever vonderlei silva walks around claiming that like hey you know what it just happened organically but he's wearing like he's like barefoot and with a mouth guard in to protect his teeth it's like dude you carry around that just in case like that's my someone ever

approaches you with a mouth guard already in you might want to start walking the other way yeah right my favorite part about it was that he had the mouth guard already he really showed that that's a first degree i think yeah that's a premeditated i can't get over how much i hate these shoes like you could just because i know that these are like $3,000 shoes undoubtedly. There's no way that they're not. There's no way they're less than like two grand. But they look like one that if you pulled the shoes off of four different murder victims and had to patch them together, this is what you'd end up with.

Four different pairs of shoes and then a couple women you burgled for jewelry i suppose like this all right i know a thing that you guys because they're so expensive but wait wait taylor tell me if this flips it for you he didn't pay two thousand dollars for these he got paid to wear them oh i'm not are you positive if if i know he said it but there's someone out there wearing these shoes and they paid for the privilege but those two things are not even remotely equivalent right all right you're on your pay i mean i don't really care what my shoes look like 99.9 of the time i don't give a fuck what my shoes look like someone's gonna pay me money to wear them on a one-off on some podcast, you know, in fact, I'm doing that right now. I haven't told you guys yet

I'm being sponsored to wear these shoes. I'm wearing today. They're really fucking his I can't show him right now I just have to have said I wore them on PK The best thing about it is if that's gonna be my excuse from now on if anybody ever calls me out if I wear something Stupid yeah, they'll be like, why would you wear that shirt? Don't you know it's after Labor Day? I'll be like, I'm sponsored. Settle down. I'm getting paid oodles of money to wear this.

I'm a stupid shirt or something. But it's in the same vein as, and to Filthy's point, like the shoe thing. It's more just silly, not actually that mad. But I really dislike the, I don't get it. and I bet there are viewers out there, listeners who do, this whole sneaker fad. Like, people who spend a bunch of money, like, sometimes hundreds of dollars, on these sneakers like Jordans, and then they don't use them to run around or anything.

In fact, if you accidentally scuff their sneaker, apparently they get very irate. That's not a new thing. Man, like, at least... No irate and it's like man like at least no i know it's not but at least if you buy like some cole hans or some shit like some nice leather shoes that look good in dark jeans or whatever like you can wear those around you can wear those to work you can wear those out to a bar you can wear that to the store or you can wear it anywhere like and not worry about it too much and you get quality pair of shoes if you pay that much

you get a sneaker it's like it's still all the components of a sneaker it's like cloth sewn together by little tired cambodian hands like it's not good quality craftsmanship i wouldn't think when you sent me the pictures of kanye west's new shoes i thought you were fucking joking i thought you were joking with me because those are so ugly those are the laziest yeah but you got the 20 bootleg yeah i got the 20 bootlegs from china they look exactly the fucking same from like if you're just looking at the shoe on my foot you'd have no idea these are not like those legit yeezys like i saw jim norton got them and if you watch jim norton special he's wearing them in the special he's on stage rocking those 20 yeezys he bought like five pairs fucking. I mean, I'd rather buy five of those than one pair of

$3,000 Yeezys. Definitely. Do you remember the song? The Air Force One song? Oh, yeah. I was in high school when that came out. Give me two per. I need two per.

I get to stomping in my Air Force Ones. I had some Air Force Ones and my friend would mock me when I'd wear them. He'd go, get to stompin' Kyle. Get to stompin' in the Air Force Ones. And I was like, fuck. I can never wear these again. God damn it. God damn it, Blake.

Asshole. I can never wear these again. I thought I was so cool in my Air Force Ones. In my Air Force Ones. In my Air Force 1s. Dude, but the thing was, because the thing was, my friend Blake had, like, he could pull them off, because he had a more urban vibe about him.

He lived in the projects. He had lots of multiracial friends. And not so much, I suppose. And, like, he would have, like, Gucci Air Force 1s and Louis Vuitton Air Force 1s. He'd, like, order them special. And I was like, oh, I'm just going to get a plain white pair of these things. I kind of like how they look.

And no, no, I never wore them again. My dad ended up taking them off me and he would like wear them when he was cutting grass. I'd look at my dad's wearing Air Force Ones like cutting grass and like getting money, like not giving a shit. It was hilarious. Yeah, I've never bought an expensive pair of sneakers and i think part of it is because i'm very not confident in my matching ability when it comes to clothes so my go-to is just dark you know straight leg jeans and then some nice black leather shoes

not tight not skinny jeans but straight leg i don't want to look baggy and shitty you know and then just a collared shirt or something like that or a t-shirt that's not like graphic and ridiculous like like i i just wear those around the house but with those colorful tennis shoes it's like shit now now do i need to find like a hat that matches this and do i need to get like a poofy coat or something like i don't know what the requirements are because i can't just wear those with which with jeans i'd look like a weirdo yeah the most expensive footwear i've ever purchased is like boots you know if i'm buying a nice pair of like cold weather uh boots or whatever i'll spend it seems like they're always 120 maybe 150 dollars if you get like some of the like gore-tex inserts on the side or something

that you think are gonna last forever but but like as far as sneakers like $60 is kind of where I want to top out out and and I I shot fast like I Walked down the I up and down the aisles like in five minutes I'm like boom that one that one looks plain enough that no one can call me out And it looks it looks like it'll look good with the shorts and look good with with uh with dark jeans light jeans this is my new sneaker until i step in dog shit or like you know leave them in the rain or something these are my new sneakers and i think too like my wife looks at clothing almost like i look at porn like this is her like end of the night like finished her work like relief activity style thing right like you know she's chilling out the glass of wine and like i'll walk by like you know her room what she's doing like oh she's

looking at like the clothing she's looking at and she's not necessarily buying it she's just like looking through it just thinking about it and i'm like for me that's that is almost that is as close to like mental torture as you could get i want no part of it what's so fucking ever like i'm i'm happy every single day putting on a white t-shirt like i'm not fucking kidding like you know i get drilled on this on my channel sometimes i'm totally happy in a white t-shirt shorts in the summer and jeans in the fucking winter and i am i'm a happy man i don't want to think about it just seems so not relevant or not interesting and not useful to me 99 of the time so it's like we're going on about this and this guy's got some weird shoes i'm almost of the mindset of, like, I don't care.

Like, on some level, you know, for the same reason I don't care that I'm wearing a white t-shirt. I don't care what his shoes are either. He wants to spend three grand on that and wear these bizarre shoes that are apparently violating the code of silver and gold. So be it. Hey, don't you knock that.

That's a hard and fast rule. I just thought they were fun. I see those wacky shoes, and I think, oh, this guy wears fun shoes i'm getting new shoes at some point when i start walking again and uh they're going to be orange mango to be specific because i pimp like that all right yeah like and uh to chiz's point you just mentioned in the chat women do pay attention to your shoes that's what they've done uh questionnaires and studies and calling it a study is pretty fucking generous, but questionnaires and stuff saying that,

like, you know, what's one of the first things you notice when a guy approaches you and shoes is so much higher up there than you would think, because it doesn't cross any guy's mind to that. Anyone would look at shoes like that's why our good, our good buddy Dick Masterson, he said is one of the best pickup lines ever out there is just ask a woman about her shoes.

Because you know what? No man has fucking ever asked her about her shoes. And all she wants to talk about are those fucking shoes. And this is obviously a jokey generalization. Do you want your significant other in the long term? Do you want your significant other giving a shit about your shoes? Because I really don't. I want my woman's priorities to be vastly different than that i think i don't think i don't think they could help it i think that

might just be something that they notice and they care about like i'd be like saying to a woman like do you really want your husband to just fucking love tits and be staring at him all the time and wanting to knock him around to do whatever like you don't want that to be the modus operandi of your husband it's like well but you know that's kind of how most men are. Maybe women just love shoes like that, and you can take the woman out of the shoe factory, but you can't take the shoe... You can't shoe the... There's something there.

There's something. We'll circle back to that. That might have been funnier than an actual joke. You ever do that when you get into a joke, and you're like, oh, I just lost my paddles. But yeah, of course, not all women are all into shoes. No, I understand what you're saying, though. But it just feels like if you're using a strategy to attract someone, if you're like, hey, I'm going to do this because girls dig this.

What you're actually doing is you're targeting some type of girl, some people who value this in some way. There's some reason that that strategy affects them. And I think some of you want to be aware of that. If you're going out looking, going out dating, going out looking to meet someone and be attracted to someone, have someone be attracted to you, et cetera, dating essentially, you want to be aware of what you're broadcasting and what you're looking for. And I guess if that comes with part of the package and the rest of the package is something that I'm really sold on, so be it.

But I don't think I want to target a woman who cares about shoes first and foremost. That's not my number one point that I'm done. Let me make the counter argument to that. I feel like what you're doing here is you're picking up women in spite of your appearance, right? And what you could do instead is just fire on all cylinders and then have your choice of women to turn down. If I go into a job interview for a job I don't particularly love, I fucking crush that job interview because I'd rather be the one who decides. Maybe they come with a salary that I do particularly love. So yeah.

And what you assume with that then is that somewhere out there, there's a woman who had the values that you cared about but she also cared about shoes and you you didn't rule her out by keeping the shoes the thing about the thing you're not in that here yes all right like we're gonna get some women that we absolutely despise every moment we're with them we're like god damn it i wish you just sucked my dick so that she can leave. And stop talking. You're over there. That's how you get her to stop talking. Filthy's over there like, hey, we're looking for a life partner. We're looking to settle down from now till eternity. And it's like, no, no, no, no.

You are in married mode, my friend. Even Woody can take himself out of married mode long enough to know that this is true. We are casting a wide net. Some dolphins are going to get sucked in. A few whales, too. But there are going to get sucked in a few whales too but there's going to be enough tuna to go around okay even in man mode right the comparison see the thing with the shoes is like you're not targeting the person because you go oh i i want a woman who's interested in shoes it's the same way that if a woman were approaching me she knows

nothing about me but she knows well i shouldn't compliment his shoes because guys don't care about that if i bring up something about uh sports there's a high likelihood that he will want to talk about that because as a whole most men have something to say about sports at least in the same way that shoe thing is just an opening line it's just foot in the door you're going to be talking about shoes until you get like one or two shoe jokes out see if she starts laughing and then you're on to something else like that that's it like it's just a way to open it up it's not like if i notice a chick with shit shoes i'm like oh not why you don't even care about yourself i don't know these are these are some killer shoes out here these are killer shoes that cost multiple thousands of dollars that people are buying presumably for the exact reason

that you guys have been talking about right now which is it gives them some sort of advantage in some sort of social circumstance be it you business, fashion, dating, whatever the hell it happens to be. And I just really wonder if the type of advantage that you're garnering there is really the one that you're actually looking for. Maybe what she doesn't like is not the shoes. Maybe she's not terribly into shoes. She's just into shoes that obviously broadcast that someone has money. She's just into shoes that obviously broadcast that someone has money. What if you wore my fucking beat up boat shoes and had like ten hundred dollar bills duct taped to each one of them? Stucked in them.

Right? Worked in the laces. Maybe she'd be like, those are some nice shoes with two thousand dollars in cash duct taped to them. Maybe that's a luxury. I think the treads would just be dollar symbols. Here's another razor's edge to walk when you compliment a woman's shoes. It can either come off as, this guy actually cares. He notices something more than my ass and my tits. Or it can come off as, ah, a gay friend. So you do not want to go, those shoes are to die for, or something like that.

Just a quick little compliment, let him know you notice, and that's it. So yes, you can do this with sandals too. It's an across-the-board attempt. If you need an expert on it, ask Dick Masterson. He knows. You know what I have a problem with? I don't know if I relate it. I wear cargo shorts too much, and it's not entirely my fault.

My wife buys my clothes, so I just pick – I wear the ones that are clean. But it's a joint failure, I would say would say in that but i don't know what else to wear if i wear something that's not cargo shorts they feel like they're almost like my dressy shorts you know like like you can't do this sort of shit i do all the time in my dress shorts fuck maybe this is married life in some degree because i'm i'm hearing woody say this and i'm like yeah that makes sense i understand like that resonates like i'm kind of the same fucking way there at some level i don't get why people hate cargo or why women particularly hate cargo shorts so much and really everyone it's become a meme of like oh you probably wear cargo shorts and stuff when you're not you know doing

carpentry or whatever like it i guess they do kind of look dumpy but they're so practical like i would the thing i want to come back more than cargo shorts because i probably wouldn't wear cargo shorts because i don't wear shorts very often because for a few years i only wore jeans and i got too into the pale leg hole and now i can't dig myself out in enough time to get the legs dark enough that they don't look so pale like like my legs are super super pale so if i commit to shorts now it's just a disaster um but no go ahead i i don't know if this happens to everyone or if it's just a woody calf meme thing but does does everyone's the back of your legs go bald when you wear pants there aren't no you definitely lose some hair yeah uh my place where it looks stupid with

like i've got regular i think me, normal man leg hair. And then the back of my calves are just all rubbed bald because they hit the pants so much. The tops of my thighs are. Like the tops of my thighs where like if you imagine yourself sitting down and the jeans sort of like pulls up with the tension of bending your legs and sitting. Just that continuous rubbing over the course of 20 or 30 years has just rubbed the top of my thighs like bald. I know that has happened. Mine grows back in the summers. I don't think I've ever fucking thought about that ever in my life.

Let alone been concerned about it. Why? I'm not concerned. Just notice. Oh, because my legs look—they're not appropriately hair distributed. What do you mean, why do you care? Appropriate to—what are you worried about? Oh, he's trying to meet a certain aesthetic. Yes. He trying to meet thank you kyle that's perfect trying to meet a certain

aesthetic there should be even hair distribution on the back of my calf and when there's a bald spot from wearing pants that that's the only area they're tight on me that and of course the crotch then it looks wrong taking care of how you look on the outside says something about what you are on the inside a person who just walks around like a you look on the outside says something about what you are on the inside. A person who just walks around like a dumpster on the outside, you might think, well, that guy's maybe a bit of a dumpster on the inside. I could mention names, but I won't. No one's not advocating some degree of personal cleanliness for him. Eventually using the, you know, dressing appropriate to the situation.

If it's some fancy place, you dress a little bit nicer, et cetera. But I do think there's an extreme that isn't needed This is this seems like right on the verge of that for me for a lot of us married and it's you Sweep the ocean clean wide net sweep the ocean clean You've already you're you've you've you've got your giant Marlin on the wall You can sit there and work and and and occasionally you can look at your gigantic marlin. I don't try to pass down my wisdom to those poor fools still out there throwing the nets every day, working their asses off. Old man the sea style.

Yeah. That's the only way to do it. You've got to throw a wide net, and you've got to keep your calf hair under control. Obvious. See, you guys are saying you're bald in those areas. Okay, the top of the thigh war is being handily won by hair. I checked. And the behind the calf thing.

Taylor has some heavy artillery. I thought I was understanding what you mean. And then you were like, it's just totally bald. And it's like, oh, well, then I guess I have no idea. Because the back of my leg looks like, oh, that guy's probably a normal amount of hair. And then you see the front of my leg. And it's like totally bald and it's like oh well then i guess i have no idea because the back of my leg looks like oh that guy's probably a normal amount of hair and then you see the front of my leg and it's like oh nope nope bamboozled uh so yeah i don't mind though i i don't think the hairiness is nearly as important as just not being like fat or awful yeah like as long as just like my opinion on the pussy lips conversation

we've had with Kyle, where Kyle's very particular about that, my position was always it's gotta be just bananas down there for me to be like, okay, I'm really sorry. Enough isn't, we can't move forward with this. It would have to be like an actual

dysfunction or something. I think that's the level Yes, but if you're a woman and you see a hairy guy as long as he's not like well I guess being totally hairless would be fine But as long as you're not one of those guys from like Indonesia with the full face hair Do I actually have a picture pulled up right now? Because I've been looking up unusual genetic mutations. Her pussy looks like a six-year-old who held an M80 for too long. Man, I don't know what any of that meant, but.

A six-year-old, you hold an M80 for too long, and then your hand goes, and it's just blown apart. Yeah. It looks like if you loosely hold an Arby's sandwich out the window, I'll drive you down the highway. That's such a sad one for me. Because how many girls have you dated or slept with who have at some point in their relationship revealed they're slightly insecure about something like this?

Every woman. It just always seems so fucking unnecessary to me to be insecure about something like that. And then to hear we're sitting here like throwing these out and they're hilarious in the second but i'm like man the the impact of that is clearly pervasive you know i've seen the impact in australia they don't even allow that kind of vagina in their pornography there is a standard of vagina you can only look a certain way and there's there's all this talk and all this controversy because that is inducing this beauty standard for vaginas. And you've got hordes of women going and get labiaplasty where they are cutting and reshaping the outer labia to make it look more aesthetically pleasing.

And I don't think there's anything wrong with that because, look, if there was all of a sudden this idea that, like, your balls had to look a certain way, I wouldn't say, woe is me. Let's fight against ball discrimination i'd go in there and get two big old eggs put in there i'd have some wings of redemption like cluckers down there blinking back and forth like every step i took you would visually see them go forward and backward in the in the bottom part of my crotch i'd do it because that's what you do when you're trying to get a mate you conform to whatever the ideals are You know you you look at you kind of over there. You think he's doing that because it's fun He's doing it because you know more. I'm not lifting weights because it's fun. I'm doing it because

We didn't enjoy it and they go. Oh, there's someone who looks good with their shirt like that Oh, yeah. He has to work so hard to make his arms big. That's what he wants them to think. That's my point, too, right? I mean, come on. I get it. This is push-up bras, the fucking ass-hugging pants that raise the ass.

This is high heels. This is makeup. This is the exact same thing, except on the male side. But on some degree, it's like... It's real for now. This is the exact same thing except on the male side, but on some degree it's like you Real for now You'll be fat and unhappy again my words somehow Taylor pulled off a miracle looking good even at 26. Over the hill with my teeth so low. That's it. That's it.

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Segway. very nicely than we're talking about because you can you can wear the finest gold and silver shoes and and brush your teeth and wear deodorant and get in shape but if your breath smells like an asshole nobody wants to be around you it's uncomfortable you're giving someone else a feeling of like now I now I feel like I have to say something you know you don't want to do that to people you don't want to be that person so put your nose in my mouth if you ever see me in person and smell my breath and it'll be it'll be i was gonna say spotless but that's the way it is always it'll smell great fantastic i've got a uh i've got a tinder date tomorrow night and you'd bet your ass before i go i'm rinsing with a little smart mouth let me ask you this taylor like would there ever be a time when like if your date was if your date was there and she's everything you could hope for and more

except for the bad breath, would you slip her a little smart mouth? Oh, no doubt. Yeah, I would be like, hey. And you would have to do it in a way that was... No, no, you would do it in a courteous way. In the same way... I'm the girl.

I'm the girl. Let's do it this way. I'm the girl, Taylor. Like you would a roofie, right? I just feel like, look over there. Put some in your drink. Well, I wouldn't do that because you're not supposed to drink mouthwash. But it's the exact same thing as telling someone they have food in their teeth.

You are doing them a favor. You're being courteous. You're helping them out. But it's still uncomfortable. I've always wondered how a girl looks like when she's gargling. Could you try this? I have two ideas. I mean, that is one rude take.

And then what if she actually swallowed it? I bet she's a winner. I like to see him gargle. Here, don't worry about what this is. No wrapper on it. Why are there two liquids? Don't worry about that.

It's a binary compound. It's wonderful. I'll explain the science later. Just use this. It's just my eyelashes are falling out. I'll tell you how it delivered such an incredible result in just a few moments. But first. Yeah.

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I've not had the peanut butter nom-noms, but the Asiago crisps, those are my favorites. I'm not a sweet. What is that? It's basically like a cheesy snack cracker. I'm not going to name any other competitors or anything. But it's like that. Weird that you like them so much. Yes. Also, of course.

I know Kyle's all about that sweet. But I'm all about that salty. So I want the Asiago crisps. And then I don't remember the name but it's the something pretzels but it's not like full of peanut butter or chocolate or anything just like the regular pretzels they're like cheddar and beer like mini pretzels that they have those are really tasty yeah so all the salty stuff i've had excellent so far highly recommend it yeah i mix it up they've got jerky and like dehydrated fruit and stuff so So whenever I order, I run the gambit and get a few things.

I like to try the new stuff. Jerky's the best snack. It's actually filling, and you never feel guilty about it. Because there's just no way to eat enough beef jerky to feel bad. It comes in a little pack. You eat the whole thing. It's good for you. Probably, right?

Well, we found out recently that salt is not a bad thing for you. You can eat all the salt you want. That was one of the results. Yeah, we always heard that thing about, like, oh, this part of the egg is bad, and then this part of the egg was good, and then milk was good, and then milk was bad, and now milk's good again or whatever. Well, just so you all know, eat all the salt you want.

All the salt you want. Not bad for you at all. You might be surprised at how much salt I want. All of it. You can just salt it up all day. That was pretty gay. It's not the salt that I want. It's all of those delicious, crunchy things

that the salt is covering in the store. And at NatureBox. All the delicious crackers. It makes sense that the salt isn't the bad thing for you as long as you're within reason. But, obviously, Kyle. No, you can't. I'm talking about salt block in your room unreasonable. I'm talking about just licking salt right off of a giant cube like you're a cat.

Yeah, like you're a goat in the backyard just loving it. Yeah, all the salt you want. Especially in water, right? You got to hydrate. You know, you got to hydrate after that or you'll die. Taylor, do you have any Tinder stories? You mentioned you had a Tinder date tomorrow night. I'm sure you don't want to lose the water.

While he thinks about the Tinder story, can I lay the new Tinder thing out there? Because there's Tinder news in the media. Oh, well, I have to know. Tinder gold. Yeah, what do you have to know? A paid tier of the dating app is coming to the United States after months of testing in limited markets, including Canada, the United Kingdom, Mexico, and Germany.

So those of you who are in those countries. Can I ask a question? Wasn't there already a paid tier? Like more suits? This is a new thing, like a new additional tier i believe okay was paid subscription is going to be available for select ios users starting today so get on there right now spend that money this isn't a sponsor anything we're really just interested in tinder we all love it well not all of us yes yes you know i tinder claims its paid service has helped users receive 60 more likes than the

free version tinder gold is designed uh to be an upgrade on on top of its current optional subscription plan tinder plus uh for another 4.99 a month uh tinder gold adds the new likes likes you feature which tells you who has already swiped right and who liked your profile yeah so this is not a sponsorship so i don't feel at all bad about asking these questions what the fuck does that mean you're guaranteed 60 more likes what does this actually mean in terms of what's going on here is it product placement like you being the product is it you is it a guarantee that you'll get more likes or is it like hey if, if you buy this, you'll probably be there?

I mean, it feels like you could write a program very easily. It just gives you 60% more fucking likes. I mean, nothing has changed. For $5, why would people like me more? Right. I'm very kind of curious. What are they actually selling here? What are they doing for these poor bastards?

It's a filter that makes you thinner. So I can tell you how. I don't know how. I have to answer. I don't know how this works. This is a new one. I bet Kyle does. But the way that if you pay for their premium thing now,

then it puts you higher on the list. Because when you open up the app, it just goes, I guess, randomly to people in whatever radius you've set. And I guess if you paid for this, it would put you higher in that list. So it'd be more likely that, let's say, some chick wants to swipe through 20 people. You know, instead of you being number 107,

you might be number 18 or something, or number 2. Yeah, if you go to the third paragraph, some of the features would plus, would plus the users get access to extra features, like rewind, which undo swipes you might have mistakenly made. That's a fucking error. Oh, no, no, no, come back, come back. Oh, too late.

Tinder Gold adds the new Likes You feature, which tells you who has already swiped right and liked your profile. With Plus, you get access to extra features, blah, blah, blah, swipe right from different geographic locations. Yeah, it just seems like you're getting your shit out there to more women and you're getting more information about who likes you. So the way Tinder works now, I don't know this, you like people but you're completely in the dark. It doesn't say, like, hey, these are the

people that liked you. Do you like them back? The way it works now is like, if you, if I swipe on someone and say, hey, I'm interested in you, and then later on in the day they go, hey, I'm interested in you too. It shows up there, and then I would send them a message if I'm still interested. It's always the guy who sends the message. The difference, however, is that with this system... But hold on real quick. But if they've swiped right on me, and they like me, and I come across theirs

later, and I do it, as soon as I swipe, it'll go, oh, look at that! She liked you earlier, so now you're matched up. So, yeah, it's not too complicated. And so this gives you the ability to see all of the women who have already liked you. So instead of doing the thing that you see on Reddit, where, like, you got a hot dog

on a spinny thing, and it's just swiping on anything and everything, that's much less effective than being able to see all of the women who have already liked you and just targeting them immediately. You can't see that now. So if I like someone, she has to just randomly like me back. There has to be a match. Yeah, and that's the kind part of Tinder where you don't have to deal with rejection in that regard. You only talk to women who have already matched you. And this gives you the ability to see women who like you and target them specifically. Now, what happens?

You know the hot dog thing where you just like everybody? Now you have a match, right? But when you look at that match more carefully, you're like, hmm. I should have never swiped right on her that right is the good one i think yep i got experience with that what do you do tell me about it so like the first couple days i had the app i was just like doing exactly what i guess you're not supposed to do i had someone tell me like hey you're just swiping right all the time just you know and then just waiting until you run out of swipes or whatever, and then that's it.

Like, don't do that. You want to be selective. The app rewards people who are paying attention and being selective. So for the first couple days, I'm just like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then I just saw what rolled in, and usually it was like, oh, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope,

and if that's the situation, they just stay in my bar of people interested in you, and I just don't reach out and talk to them and because it's pretty much an app wide understanding oh like a week okay it's not at all super new yeah all right keep going sorry didn't mean to derail just wanted that no no you're good man um yeah but i'm liking it so far it's pretty cool it's what i'm still getting over the fact of how much of a hypocrite i am about it for so long being like this is just a way for women to get validation and then now like uh now yeah i was such a hypocrite and then now i'm getting matched up with people and being

like ha as if you know and being like and getting my own rocks off you know just like getting your own validation pump and so i can totally see why people do this. I can definitely imagine that being part of it. But it seems to me that, I mean, I've always been, I feel like, I mean, I'm 33 and I think you're 26, right? 26, yeah. Yeah, so my younger brother is two years younger than me, 31. And I think, again, again, my wife has two sisters. And her next tier down sister is like two years younger than that again.

And I feel like that was the difference in age between when that really became a mainstream dating strategy and when it didn't and you know if something you know if my wife and i broke up tomorrow i would absolutely 100 go through online dating to do that as a process because it's just such a more efficient numbers game like dating has always been a numbers game it's finding someone compatible that you like that you're interested in she's into you as well and finding you know through the shit storm of just random encounters and you know friends of scary people stuff yeah of course and like the fact that there is a the more and more systems online systems designed to kind of work through this is amazing so i'm kind of really curious to hear more firsthand about this i mean this is like

this generation like now is the time that this is more mainstream than it's ever been before people use this as an accepted means of dating it's No longer just the weird people on the internet. Oh, yeah So I saw a totally like how many people you get like because it's just like the wide net thing and so many of the conversations are like it's a pyramid like there's a whole fuck ton of non starters of People that you matched up with or matched up with you and then you decide nope no conversation it's not going to happen i'm not actually either way for any reason yeah like they

might be the hardest girl you've ever met and you talk to her in real life and you're like and fuck this girl sucks could be that yeah but this is before real life at all is she a nazi total denial and then the level above that is like maybe you have like two or three little texts back and forth and talk a bit and then you realize like god this this person really doesn't share any of my interest. And you just stop talking. And it's like understood, like you both stop. And then you have like the top part where it's like,

Oh, I'm actually having interesting conversations with people who clearly get like, are kind of into the same shit as me. And that's fun to be like, Whoa, this is someone I would have never, ever met.

0% chance ever if it weren't for this app. And it turns out I have a ton in common with them. So that part's pretty cool. I have a question. I think Lefty touched on it. Okay. Oh, so I watched a YouTube video because I'm totally out of the dating scene. And it was a guy approaching girls saying that he liked them and asking them out on a date, as if you would like when I was dating.

And girls were, like, taken aback and almost like, whoa, like, how brave of you to say like hey you look really pretty i like you would you like to go out and they were just shocked by it is it so uncommon today to go old school that like the tools have replaced young people for young people i think it is if you're 22 those people are they that kind of bravery isn't being instilled in them they've been online dating for years now like they've never had to go through the butterflies and the terror that is approaching a strange woman at the grocery store and being like, all natural

eggs, huh? I like those. Are they getting good? What are you cooking? Get away from me! Yeah, right? They've never had to come up with an awkward conversation and try to play off of someone while their adrenaline is at an eight.

Which is a fucking skill set. That is a valuable skill set in lots of other circumstances too besides dating. And it's a shitty one to learn. That is hard to do. That takes some effort in getting used to and being okay with and getting used to rejection too.

I remember dating is a lot about, especially when you're doing it that way, is a lot about rejection. Most of the girls are like, no, fuck off. Not necessarily exactly that language. Have you ever seen the King of the Hill episode where Boomhauer is showing Bobby how to get women? Because Boomhauer is like the ladies' man.

Every time you see him, there's a different chick leaving his house, just always a 10. And Bobby's like, how do you do it, Boomhauer? And Annie's like, come with me, man. I'm going to show you how to put it down. I'm going to show you how to lay that big dick down, Bobby. Hold on, Bobby.

And they go to the mall, and he's like Adam Macy's or something, and he's going from woman to woman. Just, hey there, baby. Go out sometime? How about going on a date? And they're just like, no, get away from me, you creeper. And he's just like, all right. And he just goes to the next one and he's just rapid firing like woman to woman to woman until finally when i'm like yeah sure here's my number he's like there you go man and bobby's

like like like 15 girls just just just shot you down he's like who cares man once they get and it's like yeah that's what you gotta be able to do like fuck those bitches they didn't know what they were talking about like like got this one yeah it's a total yeah, that's what you gotta be able to do. Like, fuck those bitches. They didn't know what they were talking about. Like, got this one. Yeah, it's a total numbers game. And this just makes the numbers game easier. Because instead of, you know, having to spend time walking around a bar at night or at wherever public place you're at, a park, you know, you just do it real quick on your phone. So it does make sense, I guess, that like, I don't know what the age is that people have been online dating for as long as they've been regular dating. Probably maybe around my age, a little younger.

I don't know. I haven't really used online dating. It's got to be close around there. Online dating was a thing when I was, you know, like before I met my wife, when I was moving, you know, from undergraduate to graduate school. I was doing some online dating, but it was kind of like a percentage and probably a like 30 40 maybe 20 30 something like that of the dates i was going on it was it was like match.com and stuff like that it's the right which are apps on your cell phone we're like like we're talking about this the other night he's like come on there's nothing easier than than you know walking up to some chicks and and kind of

doing the boomhauer thing and i was like easier than talk to text while i watch cnn before match.com and plenty of fish which is before tinder there were dating services and and you would like make a little video or whatever take a few pictures talk about your likes and a human would match you up with girls and there was a real stigma to it you know the the thought process was you know people at these dating services can't get girls at the bar it exhausted all of the other other options and they were expensive like twenty five hundred dollars you know that was yeah and uh and in my head often free for women twenty five hundred dollars for guys and uh part of me is like but doesn't that say something to like someone who has twenty five hundred dollars to devote to this cause has it really. Let me tell you about

the Cadillac version of that that still exists today. That thing you just mentioned Tiger Woods was in on this. There's this service. It's not an escort service. It's a rich guy matching up with hot chicks. Oh you're doing a sugar daddy? No not

sugar daddy. No it's not that. It's not that either. This chick was on the Stern show and she was describing how she hung out and she was one of the chicks that was sleeping with tiger woods behind his wife's back or whatever and she's like yeah i'm part of this dating service and like you just get matched with like an nfl player or a wall street millionaire or whatever and you know it it's it's like the highest level of like a tinder or something like that and and she described you know meeting woods and how he was kind of dorky and all this stuff it was really cool to like get an insight into that now sugar daddies and the one dude you see that shit on tinder it's just

what is slightly more like upfront about it i mean and i don't give a shit i don't care what people want to do if they're both upfront about what their desires are in that if he's just like i want a hot girl and she's like i want to be with someone who's really fucking famous or really wealthy or will take care of me or whatever it happens to be i don't care what those those uh those decisions are made on but i just want those kind of up front and that's fine like i don't care the website does that but i mean it doesn't surprise me whatsoever i mean at some level that's been going on forever right so yeah it's definitely been going on forever. On Tinder, you'll see on profiles, you'll click

to open their bio and read their little three-sentence thing that says they like adventure and ice cream or whatever. They're all so similar. It's hilarious. I'm not like the other girls. I like adventure and crafts. Taylor, when they're 32, they'll start to get a personality I assure you yes

She was not at all pleased about that like you have to go watch the episode I don't think I want to explain Bios that say Looking for a sugar daddy, and it'll just be like clearly sultry looking photos and it's part of me is like you know what I gotta respect that on some level you're just coming out and saying it I am one step above

an actual prostitute like that's what I'm looking for just one it's not one step above it's sex work in a sense but it's ahead of time without the kind of shit that goes along with all this illegal shit that goes with it in terms of money. Yeah, I agree. Smarter. That's maybe the words I was looking for.

One of my wife's male friends was, you know, he wasn't particularly super well off or anything, but was on one of these sites as a sugar daddy and doing that. And I heard some stories from her about him. And fucking loved it he thought it was great you know what if you could be like a like a like a real low tier sugar daddy like trips to wendy's sneakers at the mall like like i got a car with gas in it i don't need any gas money from you nothing anything particularly great and it was just like you know these were girls in college these were you know he's like i'm having the best sex of my life i'm seeing a couple different girls you know but they do shit like you know like text him a bill you know like text him a picture of a bill and like he would be kind of expected that part of his responsibility was to pick this up you know like and i don't know i think you know a

part of me would be like okay i understand this if this. Again, it's what you agree to. If you're going to think this is a relationship and this girl really likes you for you, you don't want to be texting a picture of a bill and that's your fucking tag for getting laid tonight. Of course not. But if this is kind of what it is, you're like, alright, well, I can cut this off whenever I want. I'm evaluating this on a moment-to-moment.

She asked for a new house. I'm like, that's not what part of this is about. Hypothetically, a younger single would have to know, how big are these bills? Is this like a new house i'm like that's that's not what part of this is about hypothetical younger younger single what he has to know how big are these bills is this like a 77 electric bill it depends what level lady we're talking about so there's exactly what i'm talking about like in terms of like you know he was a lower level sugar daddy on this thing right i bet you like i bet you you could scale that fucking up too i bet you don't know right the guy who owned uh that that team in team in LA or whatever, who got caught saying the stuff about that racist stuff, right?

The Clippers. He owned the Clippers. Thanks, Chiz. He was a top-tier sugar daddy, right? He's got like a 20-something-year-old beautiful chick, and he's in his 70s or 80s or whatever, and just making it rain on her, right? Like tens of thousands of dollars a month.

And, you know, there's many tiers below that. I was going to ask you earlier, Taylor, what would it take to turn you off on a really beautiful woman? Let's say that, like, on the Taylor scale, she's an 8.5 out of 10. She's 23 years old. She's something. Give them the 10. Give them the easy

example. Give them the extreme. Let's hear what it would take to turn them off the 10. Give them the easy example. Give them the extreme. What would it take to turn them up to 10? Well, we have to keep it realistic. I'm not a 10. I'm sorry. On your personal scale, the 10. The girl is so beautiful. I'm not trying to make anyone match you.

I think... It would have to be something hygiene related. Like if she did have like really bad breath or rotted teeth or um or or if like yeah just a smelly box like if there was uh and if it was not just like a normal smell of smelliness if it was like a something something is awry would you attempt the first like the first round of like here? Oh, I really like you but Perfect if she had a honking like Your perfect woman she meets all the other criteria, but she has an annoying laugh? Are you kidding me? Taylor's a funny guy.

Dude, one of the best feelings in the world is making a pretty woman laugh really hard. It's like one of the best feelings in the world. It's great. And if every time you say something that you know is hilarious and they should love it, and she goes, you're going to be like, No, I like that. I would find that charming.

No, I would not like that. I would want a cute, tittery laugh, or just a normal laugh is fine, but a honky one would be grating. And then if I was at a restaurant or something... We probably have our own shitty things that would rule someone out that are totally not reasonable to everybody else, but I'm kind of with you on this one.

That seems a weird one to rule it out. I was going to think of unique ones. Manhands, Chiz? Yeah, Chiz said Manhands. That hand that's not a deal breaker for me i don't really care uh as long as their hands are normal ish size if they're a little large it doesn't fucking matter who cares um not like that episode of seinfeld i have where it's clearly like an nfl linebacker's hand in that dress when he's crushing the lobster to my wife a beard is a showstopper right and i was telling her how funny you were last week taylor on on like yeah and taylor's on tinder and he's doing fantastic on there and she said as if you were a burn victim doesn't he still have that beard like it was baffling to her that anybody could like somebody with a beard. And I'm like,

yeah, but not everyone dislikes beards as much. And she goes, no, all women find beards intolerable. And it's like, no, no, that's not true. Please don't start dating Jackie. She's wonderful in many ways, but she is not into the beard thing. Taylor could- No, I'm saying she's obviously, she's been out of the dating market for so long. Yeah. All the actual qualifications about beards that I've seen on Tinder profiles, which for the most part there's no – I love beards or I hate beards because most women are like, well, most men tend to shave eventually and it just happens. But the only qualifying ones I see are like – I've maybe seen one that said, if you have a beard, I won't like it.

I don't like beards. But I've seen a dozen that say, if you have a beard, there's a good chance I already like you or something like that. And it's like, oh, all right. And in 10 years or so, it'll fade back out and it'll be a different thing. It'll be the Hitler stache. It's just a natural cycle. But for now, most women, I i think like beards and i look much better in a beard than a no beard in my opinion for your loneliness ultimately fucking meaningless

i like nothing about any sort of compatibility nothing whatsoever and like maybe if you're just like just okay i hear you kyle and sense of you're just looking to get laid sure whatever okay like if this is the quickest way to route to it but in that sense you know you know, if she says, I hate beards, you really want to get laid, you shave your beard, it grows back in a fucking couple weeks, right? I'm only really looking for just sex if that's all they have to offer. Like, if I meet a chick and she's super cool and it ends up we click, it's like, why would I not want to date her, you know? Like, so it's really just a, we'll see where we go till we go.

One rule for Tinder and online dating that I'm fucking up is you're supposed to not not like an actual rule but you're supposed to wait a while after responding to things um like no like back and forth yeah well i mean like yeah like i've had conversations that are back and forth because we're both clearly talking but you know if she sends something 30 minutes after i send something i'm supposed to wait a little bit so it doesn't come off as like, oh, I'm just hunting for new chicks all day. But – and this is why I like in-person more than online dating for putting yourself out there. They won't believe that you came up with a funny line real quick if you don't send it right away. Like if I send a joke 40 minutes later, they're going to be like, oh, how long was he musing on that, that dumb cunt? Like if I send a joke 40 minutes later, they're going to be like, oh, how long was he musing on that, that dumb cunt?

Like that's why – like it's easier to get the first process done with the Tinder swipe. But my level of confidence as far as like – like if there's a 10 on Tinder who just sees my picture and there's a 10 in a bar who I'm able to go up and start talking to, I have way more confidence in myself if I'm in person there talking than I do just a picture. Because you can just roll with the punches and you can immediately get a vibe for how they are you know they're not so reserved do you try to get the chick over to text messaging as soon as possible uh yes i mean i not like as soon as possible but as soon as i know like i'm interested you'll jump the guns but but you know that's the goal why it is well yeah like i've moved quite a few of them over to text to get our number and to get over to text because because like now you it's just cementing things another level late like it's showing that you're both more interested and you've got her there then and it's it's

more instantaneous the the notification of tech person better yeah you know it's it's it's more personal you can be it's better to get them over to the text thing then you can have a real rapid fire conversation and show off your your charms and i haven't done this yet because i feel like people in my age bracket and younger which is obviously kind of who i'm looking for like people my age and younger don't like telephone calls no and i'm i much prefer telephone calls a lot of the time if it's like a you know fiddle fucking around like is it gonna be 7 30 well it's gonna be a little bit late oh well we can go here instead and do that i know i don't

want to do like it's just like can we just can we be on the phone for eight seconds and get all of this ironed out please like and i feel like i don't know now if calling someone actually we're talking about deal breakers are there and set up, is that too forward now? Or is that just allowed? Or is that confident? That has been a deal breaker for me in my life where a girl just repeatedly was always fucking late to everything. And I'm just like, you know, I value my time.

I can't help but think that if you're late to everything, this is somehow reflecting on your perception of me or something like that. I can't deal with that forever. That's not something I'm interested interested in their lateness is symptomatic of other flaws in their personality or lifestyle in some way like there's a like you know like i see that in of itself is enough of a flaw in some sense it's very disrespectful always fucking with my

time it's not actually like chronic people are late though like so my wife is late a lot and uh i can see why it happens it's because like she needs to be at a place of i'll say 1 30 it isn't until 1 15 when she's like oh my goodness i have to hustle there so that i can get on time that that says to what kyle just said though that's symptomatic of something else well she doesn't plan her day well her issue is it doesn't plan her day well. Her issue is it doesn't dawn on her that there's, like, a time to get moving emergency until too late. She just, you know. And that reflects on how she feels about me. Because I'll tell you what. I have two different modes.

The mode that is when a girl is coming over and the mode when there's not one coming over. Or when I have to go meet her. All of a sudden, that is number one priority. It's like, you want to see me clean a house? Tell me a girl's coming over. I'm fucking spick and span, motherfucker. I'm scrubbing shit. But, like, on a regular day, it's like, oh, yeah, your dad's coming over.

It's like, oh, well, I'll kick that shit out of the bed then. You know? Like, I don't care what he thinks. But, you know, best foot forward. And I expect the same from her. forward and i take still like give me to be get my place spotless is like the a half of one percent chance that i will be bringing someone home later and if that's the case like i will clean it as though the queen herself was showing up in her little uh white gloves to do the dust test like it's a great way to make sure everything is clean i'm i'm very neat right now i'll bet you are

very except uh let me ask you this do you make your bed i i yeah of course i make well right now well right now my bed's not good my whole bedroom is a disaster because i i'm uh i'm gonna be moving in the next couple of months and i was like i'm not gonna order a whole uh in the next like five weeks or so uh I'm not going to order and get a whole bunch of new bedroom stuff just so I can pay movers to then move it somewhere else. I'm just going to buy it once I get there and just move it straight in. And so it's like a real serial killers bedroom right now.

Just a mattress on the floor because I can't, which no woman wants to sleep on. I don't remember what comedian was saying that, but mattress on the floor is super, super unappealing. Even if you frame it as, hey, I'm moving soon. Did you buy a house? No.

Oh. No, I'm living in an area for a while. Yeah, I considered it. But I'm living in an area to see if I'll be in St. Louis for the next couple years. And then also if it's a fit, yeah. Because I am at an age where, you know, who knows? Maybe when I'm 29 or something, like another thing pops up in Denver or in California.

I don't know. And so maybe it's just anxiety of, you know, a third life crisis. Who knows? But I just don't want to commit too much to that. One third life crisis. Yeah, I said one third. I saw the confusion. Yeah, he said a third live crisis.

I'm like, did you have two already? You were really ahead of schedule. Well, I had my ninth. He believes in reincarnation. Before we move past the Tinder thing, I want to throw a lot of credit to everybody on the PKA Reddit who was doing hilarious

photoshops of me in Groundhog Day. Those were hilarious. who was doing hilarious Photoshopps of me in... It's the Forrest Gump thing. Those were hilarious. Look at my Skype profile pic. That's you shirtless on a horse like Vladimir Putin being led by a Cossack. I saw that one, actually. Yeah, and there's... Go to the PKA Reddit and just go, like, top by week.

It's all... It's just Taylor as, you know, in The Martian. Taylor as Kim Jong-un. And then someone just, like, a's just Taylor as, you know, in the Martian. Taylor as Kim Jong-un. And then someone just like a couple hours ago posted Find Taylor. And it's all of these crowds from like riots and genocides and North Korea. And I'm just photoshopped in there. ISIS, I'm in an ISIS parade holding their flag. I decided that one was not going to go on my Tinder.

Did any of them? Did any of them make your Tinder? A couple of them did. More than one? The app is actually, I think two. I'll have to check. All day today, the app itself has been down. I haven't been able to sign in.

I think they're doing maintenance or some shit. There's a couple I use. These are so funny. I could look at these all day. I appreciate all the effort for the ones that are really good. I'm trying to think of the best ones where I don't want to leave anybody out. But the really good ones, I'm like, man, that almost looks like my body. And then there are other ones where they just...

The mountain climbing one was really good. The mountain climbing one was good. And then there are other ones where they just take me from a weird angle. And they just photoshopped me onto that, like, distended belly african child and it's like well it's not like but i see you were just trying to be mean-spirited i like it when you're in the crowd those are my favorites because because it's like you're a little smaller you're a little background it takes a while and then like that's distinctly tay you know and I like those a lot you know at the end of The Shining when you can see Jack Nicholson and that

picture from like 1936 all black and white and they slowly zoom in on it somebody somebody put him in that picture to anyone who know who like Stanley Kubrick yeah that's great they put me on Conor McGregor that was a good one they put me on I mean honestly, the only one I didn't like in that crowd one, there were pictures of me photoshopped as a Nazi or ISIS or these horrible, horrible groups.

And then they photoshopped me once as a Chicago Blackhawks fan right after they won the cup, holding up an inflatable Stanley Cup. And I was like, come on, guys. Let's keep this tasteful. ISIS is fine, okay? But you put me in that Blackhawks jersey.

That's two steps too far. But they could get a false impression that, you know, I'm a Hawks fan. And that would be even worse. And all that to say, two thumbs up for you guys. That was really, really funny. I got a lot of laughs out of that. And Chiz's point right there about Tinder, women women's bias against short men none of us are short on here so we can

talk about it uh he like he's 100 right like it's it i would feel so bad because so many of these are like you know they'll either say six foot and up which is ridiculous that's like what percent of people are six foot and up and or like uh anyone short or like or what they put up is like i'm five eight and i like to wear it's 14 inch heels so you better be tall you know swipe swipe left if you're not and it's like i mean i kind of get it because that's a high priority it'd be like if if i were the one being pursued i'd put like if you are morbidly obese you know no dice sorry our lifestyles aren't gonna match up like we're not gonna get along well i'm not gonna be attracted to you so i get it i dated a woman who was like five nine maybe a little more and she and if we

went out somewhere nice she put on like these three inch heels so i'd put some i bought lifts i put fucking lifts in my shoes i'm six three sixinch heels. So I bought lifts. I put fucking lifts in my shoes. I'm 6'3", 6'3 1⁄2", with lifts on, motherfucker. I'm towering over your ass. Yeah, you're going to have to skin on your toes to kiss me, bitch. Two can play this game. You can go on Amazon and buy lifts, and they just slide into the heel of your shoes. So if you're out there and you're a 5'9 man, there's nothing wrong with that.

It's scummy that women feel this way. But, hey, go in there and buy some lifts and fake it until you make it. It's a push-up bra for guys. It's a push-up bra for men, absolutely. And the last thing that I would – I don't want to be looking eye-to-eye with you. It's a little intimidating. I want you to be a little shorter. I prefer a shorter woman.

I would not. I don't think I'd feel a little weird if she was 6'3". I knew a girl. I never met her or anything, but I was talking to a girl who was legitimately 6'1". I think I've talked about it before. Her legs were like 4 feet long. It was incredibly sexy, but it was like,

damn, we stand next to each other. I'm not quite sure. I don't know. I had a girl I dated for a while who was a tall girl and she looked fucking incredible naked in bed just like the length of her like it was just she was just an amazing looking girl and like and i like i like shorter girls generally yeah guys like as long as the chick isn't taller than you i think for the most part guys are mostly cool with it but for women like if a

woman is five four she doesn't want necessarily a guy who's five six as much as she would a guy who's six foot and i guess again that's just life i guess like everybody knows that you know short guys have to work harder to to get to the same place they even do that with uh with like job and salary and shit like uh like taller people are more likely to make uh are more likely to be like executives and politicians and and well obviously athletes that makes sense that's halo effect right that's halo so it's like you know attractive people you think they're kinder you think they're smarter you think they're blah blah blah blah it's just because they're attractive jackie's five seven i've been with her for 25 26 years something like that and uh you know whatever it's been a it's been a

lifetime over that lifetime she's gained and lost 10 pounds here and there if you're taller it it hangs better you know if a girl who's five three gains 10 pounds all of a sudden you know she's round and uh well it's a bigger percentage of her body weight as well yeah it just doesn't hang right like i would swear if they both gained i'll make up a number you know five percent that uh on a taller girl it just you know they can still look nice and on a on a shorter girl it's like ah you know you've reached emergency zone you got to get that cleaned up and you know there's some genetics involved too, like depending on where that weight gets distributed. Like as a man, like if you gain weight

and all of a sudden it goes to your ass, your thighs, you're like, oh my, look at this feminine flabby ass I've got in these big flat, like you sit down in shorts and your thigh's like flattened out and do something gross. But on a girl, that can look pretty good. Like if all of a sudden she's got a little more junk in the trunk like if you're genetically predisposed to like add that five

percent mostly to your butt or your thighs or to your boobs like yeah i got i got a buffer zone where's the place on guys though that looks good when it gets fatter like i agree with you on women like tits or ass or thighs like if it's a reasonable amount of fat like it can look very good it's attractive makes them soft and appealing and whatnot but guys like i've never i'm not a woman so i don't know i can't see through their eyes but i don't feel like women would look at a guy's gut and be like oh that just makes him so much softer you can't come on you just spent all episode talking about the attempts you have to to see through their eyes by manipulating your shoes by working out by doing all this stuff on tinder you really want to you

really want to now go this was the one you couldn't really make a statement on all the other ones were fine but not this one the answer you know what you're right they're all fine they're all fine i can see through their eyes just fine i empathize with everyone perfectly so but so women clearly don't look at a guy with a fat pudge belly and go like oh he's soft he's he's oh look at those fat thighs they're fun to slap around sometimes guys put on weight like in their deltoids and chest like they're apple shaped when they get heavy and that is the more athletic looking fat guy than the pear-shaped guy that's true. I think ideally, like if you're a man, you want equal distribution so that it's less visible if you gain 10 pounds. That would be the ideal. But with a woman, there are

places that look better fatter. And that's just not true for a man. Because the man, the aesthetically pleasing thing for a man is fit and you know, muscular and strong. And that can be laid out in many different ways. You could be big and bulky and wide, or you could have a more slender sort of small waist and shoulders wider than your waist and get that triangle trapezoid thing going on.

There's different compositions for the man, just as there are for women. I think I have that equal distribution of fat, and the downside of it is you can gain 30 pounds before you declare an emergency that needs to be addressed. True. Whereas on the other hand,

if it all went straight to love handles, I might gain 10 and be like, dude, we need to address this. It goes to my love handles and to my chest. I'll start... All of a sudden, I will not look good

in a tight-fitting shirt. It's like, oh, there's a little man boob there. Or like, oh, I hate the love handles. Right now I'm at like 160 pounds or something, and I'm really liking the look I have. I need to add more muscle because I think I can get all the way to a six-pack if I really keep my – if I don't gain more fat from where I am

and, in fact, lose fat, but also tone and add more muscle. I think I can get to a six-pack at fucking 30-plus, which I've never had a six-pack before. There was a time when I was maybe 23, and I got in a crazy workout thing where I was just every night just in the mirror doing curls or whatever, listening to rock music. Like Johnny Cash, there's a man going round taking names. I'm like staring in the mirror with a 25 in each hand like, yeah, that's me. Who to free and who to blame. Hear the trumpets, hear the pipers.

And I'm just fucking cranking them out. I remember if I did a quarter sit up and flexed, it was like boom, boom, boom. Like, oh, yeah, you can see them. And then I got with a girl and all that sl slid away so we're you know heading back uphill toward that are you lifting right now yeah i've got yeah got my my uh my stuff how much is that way a little one i've got i got all of them here you bought a whole set there's a 25 there's um this was 15 25 10 and a 45 i got an adjustable one and in hindsight i think maybe i should have bought a set you know because i'm stronger at some exercises than others i did i had this in my head that i didn't want to decorate with kettlebells and now it's like what

do you should have just bought the five pack and yeah i just throw them in the corner when i'm not making up much room at all like i just put them right in the corner when i'm done and i don't mind i was uh uh oh shit i lost my train of thought it's gonna be about fitness oh we're talking about uh oh we're talking about getting fat uh and where you guys get it i i put on skull weight. Head weight. If I gain weight, one of the first places I get it is cheeks. I naturally have a gigantic head and

a gigantic skull. I gain it on my head. I'm pretty sure it grows out. Taylor's mother has a vagina that Kyle wouldn't approve of now. You're the oldest child, Don't the infants have like the... Taylor's mother has a vagina that Kyle wouldn't approve of now. I'm so shocked.

You're the oldest child, right? Yeah. It's shocking that after that, she said, yeah, I want two more. Well, she knew that would be like having a parade. You know, they're coming out. They just fall out now. How long were you in labor with that one? Three minutes tops.

You came out of the car right here. I get head fat and then thigh fat. I get fat in my thighs, and I hate getting fat in my thighs. That's an easy one to self-shame because thighs naturally ripple a lot, so you just stand in the mirror naked and you give yourself fingers like this. You don't give a full slap because you don't want to play it up. You want it to be a realist. Because if you slap someone who's fit with a full hand,

it's going to ripple, and you're going to get an unrealistic expectation of what you're looking for. So you try and get a nippy slap where you're just getting the tip, and you go like this, and you slap both of your thighs as you're naked looking in the mirror.

Right now, we're getting your motivational techniques is what you're giving us. Yes, yes. And then you just look at yourself in the eyes or at your thighs and you just look for a second. You're like, God, what the fuck? What the fuck? Who likes that? Who's going to look at you and think this is okay?

Don't record this and put this on your Tinder. This is not helpful for you. We did our PK hangout last weekend, which is where if you check out our Patreon down below for $5, I think you get the show early as soon as it comes out. For $10, you get PK in with video and the show early and all that stuff. But for $50, these guys come in, and for several hours a month, we just hang out with them. Taylor is coming now, so if anyone's interested in getting a little more Taylor in their life, you can have a private conversation with them for a few hours. And what we did this weekend, it was the three of us, we were in there. And then, you know, we said, all right, goodbye, everyone. And before I hung up,

Woody left, and we were all hanging up, I suppose, but I was gonna hang up. And then I was like, oh, wait, any final questions? And then it went on for another hour. Get out. I missed an hour? You missed it. You did two and a half hours or something like that. I mean, we all agreed to say goodbye. And we even did a round of final questions. And it appeared that it was wrapping. I had no idea.

And then someone typed up just before I was going to hit the button. And Taylor and I stayed for like literally another hour and a half. And we got those guys. Those guys started posting shirtless pictures of themselves. And we started hitting them with the shame. And I started giving them diagnosis It's a diagnosis. I was like, oh Week of dieting and working out away from being happy with yourself

six weeks of dieting and being and working out to being happy and the other guys like, you know He showed us a picture and he's five foot five and I was like you are three months of Dieting and working out from being happy with yourself. And look at that guy's hands. He's got a big cock. That guy's got a big cock on him. And it's going to be even bigger when you get that weight off, bro. And we had a really nice shaming kind of time with those guys.

So if you're interested in that, there are some real characters in there. Everybody's really fucking cool. They're great. My favorite, my new favorite, although I love you all, bearded man, forgive me for not knowing your name, bearded man whose parents are wealthy, love you. That's great. That guy was FaceTiming through his phone. While on the plane, he lands.

He's like, you guys want to go through x-ray? Done. Puts us on the x-ray machine. We get to see that go through and happen. But this other guy, this British guy, no, he's not British. This other guy from maybe Missouri or wherever the fuck fuck his girlfriend is from a polygamist family so for like 45 minutes we had the most interesting conversation ever utah thank you because she was like taking a bit of issue with some of the things i've said about polygamy in the past and

that it's a kind of a cult and what i don't mean every i'm interested here sure but but they she broke it down she's like yeah my parents are polygamous my dad has like i don't remember four what i think her dad had four wives right like that was the deal i thought it was granddad but i could be wrong i'm almost positive it was her dad but but in any case like she broke it down um uh that we started talking about um lds we started talking about the celestial temple it was talking about the Celestial Temple. It was fascinating. And then I was like, so what do you think about polygamy? Like, would you ever be open to bring another lady into the relationship between you and this gentleman?

And she was like, most girls, like 99.9% of girls, if you said this, it would be like, boom, no. Showstopper. No, this is my man or whatever. She was like, eh. It wasn't a hard no. It was a no, but it was like, I don't think so. That's an I'm open to it. Every man in the world kind of perfectly

straightens himself up a little bit. Like, maybe they can slide in there and get a multiple guy kind of thing going. Yeah, that is weird. Oh, go ahead. I think it was the the saturday one and taylor wasn't there kyle do you remember that guy giving me shit and i went back hard at him i remember so well that uh i'm gonna give him an extra week of the show for free because he was his feelings were hurt quite a bit and the second hangout he kept his mic muted the whole time out of fear did he i didn't even did he come to the second hangout?

Are you exaggerating? I don't think he was at the second one. Because he kept the mic muted in fear. Maybe. In fear. So here's what happened. I'll tell it, Kyle. You tell me if I'm telling it wrong.

Somehow the broken leg came up or something. And he started insulting me pretty much. He's like yeah you know you're old you're not rehealing like you used to you're I don't know if he called me fat but like in my head it was it's the kind of thing like an internet troll would say but not in person

so I went right back at him I don't remember if I said all this I haven't in my head since then but it's like you know you have problems with obesity you're already balding you're this you're that and and it was like i came i called him an asshole several times um because he is he was totally this is a super fan right probably this is one of the people who the kind of experience that you will normally expect if you become one of our 50 patreons and

i'll just clarify just i. Just to mention, the guy is the 5'5 tall 18-year-old that was overweight and needed three months. Oh, I didn't know that. But... Anyway, I watched this interview that Bill Clinton was having, and they were like,

yeah, what didn't you expect about being president? And the way he described it was, he said, you know, people don't see you as a three-dimensional person anymore. And what he means by that is they don't interact with them like they're just regular people with thoughts and feelings. I'm a pussy.

So when this guy... You're saying he would never say this to his friend or someone in his life normally. This is because you occupy some position in his mind that's different than just a normal companion. Exactly, right? But in truth, I was thinking to myself, in my head, I was like, oh, what if we do a fitness roundtable? How's it going to go? I've got most – I'm not happy right now.

I'm not in a good place. I'm hardly outdoors. I sit inside in a dark room elevating my leg for about two and a half weeks now and uh I'm not like I can kill myself or anything but I'm just fucking unhappy and uh and this guy like taking shots at me was all it took to be like no fuck you you fuck you, you fucking piece of shit, calling me old, saying I'm going to heal badly, things aren't going to go well. And, you know, that guy said just the right thing to attack me.

Kyle, your face is betraying you. It seems like you have another impression. We're on the same team here. Woody just described how he saw things go down, and we'll just leave it at that. We're all on the same team here. Hypothetically, in this scenario, what could have happened? Maybe my memory is just a little foggy.

Maybe I just don't recall. I don't recall. I feel like one of Trump's underlings sitting in front of Congress right now. I'm sorry, don't recall yeah I don't recall I don't mean to be lying difference at this point doesn't make yeah he was talking about how old I was he was saying I wasn't going to heal well like that was his thing and that was like the worst thing that someone could have said to me at the time and and I don't think you know like his motivation was to hurt my feelings I think he was just sort of running with a meme you know like people have been calling me 7 000 years old since i was 36 and uh you know it

but i didn't need to hear it and uh i don't know how this came up or why i'm suddenly like baring my soul on pka but but here i am yes in large part to do is what do that uh mostly when things uh some irritate you, just let them pass over your shoulder. You never ever come back to them. And this one just really kind of stuck out, huh? I'm not good at that. Historically, the whole water off a duck's back thing

isn't how I'm wired, although I'm better than I used to be. But right now, like I got outside in the sun today, actually two days in a row, but it's not the lifestyle that leads to me being like the joyous me i've thought about just like sitting out in the sun like maybe not even doing anything just well no because what he's outside all the time maybe like

suddenly getting no sun like because you seem like obviously not happy with how active you usually are now you can't do shit because you're injured like maybe just being outside just kind of fiddle fucking around you know on your i guess the crutches aren't fun are you still like sprained from those or i um yeah like my hands are all bruised and stuff from trying to get around um i bought a peg that wasn't mocking i i was like oh i could oh it didn't sound mocking i bet it's sore like i'm sorry if it came out that way. I was looking at that, and I was like, I know that's sore, because there's broken... Like, if you've ever broken, like, a blood vessel in your palm or something, you're like, oh, god damn. I broke a peg leg, and it's a fucking peg leg.

Yar! And do you guys want to see it? Yes. I saw the peg leg. Wait, do you have that yet? Yeah, I have it. I'm decent at it. I can walk around and stuff and not need crutches this is okay so this is a crutch you'll see it he's gonna link the picture let me just say if he ever takes a tumble on this motherfucker it's gonna be the most awkward painful fall and it's gonna be difficult to get himself back up it's uh

yeah check this out all right oh you're going to link me. I thought you meant in case. I swear to God this is true. When I walk around with this peg leg, Colin makes pirate noises. Awesome. Look at how... He's like, arrr.

This bitch is really excited to be a part of the chase. I thought I injured myself. Now I can bedazzle my peg leg. How much longer until it's healed? Only two months. What a shame. Maybe a year ago now. He had one of these on wheels.

One of the other ones frequently bought together on wheels that he was on for a couple months. Because that shit doesn't heal fast at all when you do that kind of these on wheels. One of the other ones on frequently bought together on wheels that he was on for a couple months. Because like that shit doesn't heal fast at all. Like when you do that kind of damage to yourself. So I could see that. He didn't have the leg though. I would have loved to make pirate noises for him. That would have been.

I thought when I got it that like it would be like, aha, now I'm mobile. Now I can walk like a regular person does i can use my hands like one of the problems now like even getting a glass of water for myself is a bit of a challenge because it's hard to work crutches and hold a glass of water at the same time like with this peg leg shocks maybe i'll go out and start like woodworking and stuff like that that hasn't been my experience uh and i'm pretty um agile it. Like it's, so when I walk, it's like loose

and it like grabs, but if I make it really tight, it's uncomfortable in a different way. And I remember when Kitty, Kyle's friend Kitty, she has a wheelchair because she's,

she needs a wheelchair sometimes. And she showed it to me and she was really excited about it because her wheelchair is pimp. It's like purple and something else. It's like a $3,500 custom-made carbon fiber and titanium and aluminum thing. I oftentimes disassemble it and put it in and out of cars. And I can take the whole thing and just put it straight out like I can this 15-pound.

I think the whole thing weighs maybe 20 pounds and it's a wheelchair matches her paintball gun too like it's anodized and she has um a color set that is almost like her brand like a signature it has lights in the rims and she showed it to me and she was really excited about it and i can see why she would be but i guess in my head although i tried to hide it was like, oh, as cool as this is, I'm not envious. I don't wish I had one too. That's kind of how I feel about my peg leg. I feel like, oh,

congratulations. Can I tell you a kitty story? Kitty's arthritis has improved, I think. I believe it's rheumatoid arthritis, but she's got a few things going on that complicate it. Her joints are very painful, especially on rainy days or in certain times of the month so she's uh she's she bought the wheelchair because she thought she was going to be dependent on it more than she actually

is these days she got that really nice one and we were going to a convention one time and the convention like i i remember i put the not a fitbit but like a pedometer on my phone for that convention and i walked like 12 miles that day and It was just walking around the booths in Vegas. And so to get her around this thing, we got this wheel. I don't remember what it's called, but basically it attaches to the spoke that's between the two wheelchair wheels, and then a rubber-treaded uh battery powered wheel makes contact with the ground and she's got controls for it and it will zip her around up hills and stuff at a good clip

right and so everything had been going well uh at first they sent her a prototype because this thing's like five grand just for the wheel and uh and the prototype like caught fire in a mall or something like that started shooting sparks sparks out. Not hers, though. One like it. Hers. Hers did. And so got a new one. The battery for this thing, it's a LiPo battery, whatever they are.

But it's still like 20 inches long, 6 inches wide, and an inch and a half thick. Like it's a big fucking battery. So you're a little scared of that thing. But you need that power to go up hills and such so we're going into the convention center we're going into this gigantic hall room and she's zipping along right next to me on the carpet and then all of a sudden i hear and she takes off and i'm like kitty kitty kitty and i start running behind her and it's because she's out of fucking control she barrels into this big table full of like guns and shit overturns and she's just like out on the floor and i was like oh shit

not unconscious but she's like falling out of the chair and like you know the chair is toppled over the wheel is still like like going to town and like like me and another guy like oh shit let's let's get her together we were all taken aback at first by this that is because it was like you don't understand what's powering it like if you've never seen one you're like how does that even happen it's it's got a mind of its own and we're all trying to turn the wheel off it was pretty fucking funny i'm sure it was a bit embarrassing for her but i'll never forget that when she wasn't horrifying we're walking someone in the wheelchair yeah she's just taken away and i'm she's just like fumbling with the controls like she's going like 10 miles an hour like a jogging pace oh yeah what uh a good social you

know how like a lot of pranksters pretend that it's social experimentation but really they're just kind of being mean in public yes yeah something you know one that is mean-spirited that i would never even think of doing but but someone else should and posted online, is turning those rascals that they let fat people use at Walmart, is make those remote controlled. And I bet still a lot of those fat fucks will be too lazy to get out and be like, well, I guess we're not going down the chip aisle to this time. They'll still just go where you take them, I bet, because they're not going to get out and then walk back that would be an interesting social experiment it would be fun yeah if you didn't just like take over and drive them everywhere you just force them to make healthy choices yeah oh that's it yeah you just speed them past the chips speed them past the candy uh park them in front of the bananas for, I guess,

probably half an hour until they're like, we'll get some move until I get these bananas. You know? They get their bananas. What else would you make them sit in front of? I'd make them go sit in front of the vitamin section and all the self-care stuff

so that all the people who give a fuck would walk by and maybe a little bit of shame would kick off. The journey of a million miles starts with a single bit of shame. A single slap to the thigh. A double slap to the thigh. You want to really shame yourself. Hit those saddlebags hard. Watch them roll.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'll do a couple of lads. Alrighty. Alrighty. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'll do a couple of lads. All righty. Movement Watches was founded on the belief that style shouldn't break the bank. The watchmaker's goal is to change the way consumers think about fashion by offering high-quality minimalist products at revolutionary prices. With over 1 million watches sold to customers in 160-plus countries around the world, Movement Watches have solidified themselves as the world's fastest growing watch company. Movement Watches started just $95. At a department store, you're looking at $400 or $500.

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Check them out. Guess who's going to wear their watch on the date tomorrow night? This guy. Because I'm all about self-improvement. And when you watch PKA and you work out with us and you shame yourself and you wear a nice heavy watch, every aspect of life, you're just ticking it up. Just ticking it up. Better and better. That's why I think that showing that you can accessorize says something a bit subliminally about your personality and what you're about. And going that extra mile showing

her that you have done something just for her says something as well. It's not about like, just the watch. It's not that she's going to look at the watch and whoo it's it's more that you went through the extra effort of trying to make yourself look nice as a guy who's put together yeah yeah you look or you don't look like you just rolled out of bed and look disheveled like a watch really brings it all together so so check them out which brings us to another sponsor dollar shave club it's a smarter choice you can get a great shave at a great price, conveniently delivered right to your door. It's an awesome life hack, and it's a no-brainer. You no longer

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After your first month, replacement cartridges ship automatically at their regular price. There are no hidden fees, no commitments. You can cancel anytime you'd like. You can only get this offer at dollarshaveclub.com slash pka. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash pka. Taylor, tell me, what and where do you shave because it's clearly not up top uh not necessarily true i was gonna say i shave your eyeballs this whole area so it doesn't grow up really high because that's nobody wants a beard

up to here like you know how the hound's beard grows where uh where it's like all the way up here like it's not a good look you don't want high cheek hair and so i get rid of that i also get rid of this so that my beard doesn't connect to my chest hair that's also not a good look and then of course i i keep uh the genital region all uh not a hundred percent you know but it's spick and span yeah basically yeah i think you want to keep it's really just a courteous thing absolutely i i what i what i keep everything above look i'm gonna put this gently i put everything above my cock um i like to like just trim that down to about two millimeters i have a digital uh trimmer which i freaking love you can go by like tenths of millimeters with this thing. It's like, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop. That's where I want this part.

That's where I want this part. I've memorized at this point through trial and error how many millimeters I want everywhere. 2.5 is what I shave my face at. But about 1.5 or 2 is where I want myself downstairs. Now, everything below the cock, on the sides of the cock, and on the cock itself.

One millimeter is stubble. No, no, no. You're not moisturizing properly then, Woody, if your hair's not. Like, you've got to keep in mind, after I step out of that steaming bath, after I've loofahed off, after I've squeegeed everything up, after I've conditioned and shampooed and went through my whole rigmarole, I get out and start bathing myself with cocoa butter lotion. It goes everywhere.

I'm not kidding. Like, there is a different moisturizer for every part of my body. My feet get a special lotion. My hands get a special lotion. My entire body does. And then my face gets some, it's not a sponsoring thing,

but some Jack Black's, you know, facial moisturizer. I do something similar to that. If I run out of shampoo, but I still have body wash there, sometimes I'll go a week or two just using body wash as shampoo. Yeah, you're a monster. You're a monster.

Tell me that. Every now and then, I'll send Taylor a link to a new product. I'm like, here, this is what you want for your hands. Or here, this is what you want to put on your butt. There's a different thing for everywhere. If anyone out there has bacne or acne on your butt it's so hard like like you can get advice i got the maderma stuff yes the maderma stuff is like lots of men have stretch marks like when you go through puberty and adolescence we get big quickly i had a friend

in high school who like shot up three or four inches during the summer and on his back he had stretch marks in the middle of his back how how awful i had some stretch marks i guess i still do to some regard on my like love handles and i've been using maderma um um stretch mark cream for years and at this point they are the same they're they're a little bit lighter than my skin tone so when i tan they just disappear stretch marks are very unsightly a lot of women get them on their boobies you know especially on the top part where they've you know grown it to themselves and uh so i highly recommend that as well again not think stretch marks are hot.

Okay, wings. No, only on the hips. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not like the belly stretch marks that you get from a baby sometimes. But when I see a woman with stretch marks on her thighs, to me that implies that she got very womanly. Like she's got that...

I see it the same way that maybe everyone else sees like the curve of the shape. I prefer no stretch marks in the same way that maybe everyone else sees the curve of the shape. I prefer no stretch marks in the same way. I'm pretty sure most people prefer no stretch marks. But, like, I mean, as long as they're not like... Chiz. Yeah, I'll put that in my Tinder profile, Chiz. No stretch marks, you fat sow.

If you have stretch marks, you can suck my dick. Actually, no, you can't. That's the point. Like that thing. No, I can't judge. I have the same thing Kyle talked about where you go through puberty and you get those like above-handle side ones because you grow really quick. They're not that noticeable, but I have some on my tricep area. They're pretty much invisible, but they're very teeny, and I can see them.

I don't really care about those because nobody really looks at that area of your arm. I wouldn't think it's usually kind of next to your body. Yeah. But, yeah, I did take your advice. I took your advice on the Moderma thing. I've been using that every night. Hopefully, I'll notice in a bit.

But, yeah, I mean, body wash and shampoo, just think, 100 years ago ago they didn't even have shampoo or body wash so put it in perspective yeah they they also usually died at childbirth and and and and shit in a bucket they kept it under the bed like florida now yeah it's like it was like modern day florida or india everywhere or India. They don't even bother with a bucket. No chiz? No. Yeah, no. None of that, asshole. Do you want to talk about Houston?

Because it's literally the most rainfall from a storm in our history, right? It's like 52 inches or something it dumped. I keep seeing that you know 15 trillion gallon uh figure thrown out there it's at first it was it was like oh man this is so terrible and it still is terrible but the outpouring of assistance i saw that line of people going into the disaster with pickup trucks and boats people who purchased boats to go help texans who were from oklahoma and you know new orleans New Orleans or Louisiana and neighboring states. Really great to see that. In other parts of Texas. All over the country, of course, Texas.

And it says some really bad stuff about our infrastructure, but it also just says so many great things about, like, you know, how good people are and how kind we can be to one another i saw a black guy in a uh in a parking lot with a shotgun and uh these people pulled up next to him these these two ladies were next to him they're like what are you doing he's like i'm protecting the stores we're not gonna have any looting you need food that's one thing i'm not gonna see you taking a flat screen tv TV out of this place, and then he yells at someone who's off-camera Do it I dare you I'm X what I'll cut your ass in half And it's like yeah like these people aren't gonna have that they're not gonna be disgraced the way that like you know you He had hearing protection on ready to roll

That's how ready he was to shoot someone He was wearing it the way I do with like one ear here He was one quick snap and a pull from busting that guy's head like a clay and you know what I would have been on his side I don't think they're vulnerable not really not for real

but yeah I liked to see that it was like someone taking enough pride in their community that like no now you know what nobody's going to stop this from happening and so this guy's gonna stop this from happening he's like i'm protecting these local businesses we're not gonna have that kind of stuff here and i love it wasn't an at&t store or something where it's like they'll just replace it it was like some mom and pop grocery store or something where you know they're not going to be able to

recover if someone goes in there and steals all their all their merchandise i have an argument for stealing food that actually kind of won me over they're like you know if you don't steal this food and eat it during this time of emergency it's gonna rot it's not like this food's gonna be okay six weeks from now you might as well steal it it's perishable in the video someone in the video the girl was like yeah that guy just dropped that flat screen tv so like it was a it was a they were stealing tvs well okay yeah yeah that that was really hard to defend that but uh yeah the food and stuff it was like yeah you know like I guess loot the grocery store what else is gonna happen it's gonna rot if like if it's like just starting to rain and you burst into Walmart like, it's time to survive! People are still in line.

Then you're just an asshole. But I totally get the pilfering, not even pilfering, and not even looting food. I think you would say salvaging with food because you're trying to get something that you do need. I get stealing food. If I see a fat person running in to steal food, I'm like, alright, I'll alter your motives here.

You went to the section and you're stealing ice cream cake? Don't even try and play this off. Like, that kind of shit. I'm going mouth anyway. Yeah. Just eating it in place at the freezer door. My wife is legit worried.

She has some stress about flooding at our house. She's like, Hurricane Harvey's headed this way. I don't know what if there's a flooding here she's seeing it i'm like baby take it from someone who flies over this area like three times a week the river would have to raise 60 feet we live on top of the hill there's like yeah look at every neighbor we have they're all lower than us like elevation wise and uh it we're fine we We're fine. But it's a stress point of her. I think I made her feel better, but yeah. Crazy. Yeah.

That brings us to Irma, because she may have something to worry about with Hurricane Irma. Do you want to bring up that graphic? I'll link it for everyone. I want to see this. You're talking about this before the show started. I saw today with Irma that it's like they're not even 100% sure it's not going to veer off or fizzle out or something, right?

Well, it's definitely not going to fizzle out because that's just the nature of the hot and cold water and the pressure systems. It's going to hit a Category 5. The real question is, does it make landfall on the East Coast, or does it brush against it sending lots of rain showers? Or does it go against what these models here would show and does it scoop on into the gulf coast where it would empower itself some more and just basically be another harvey but even more powerful well that would suck it certainly would oh i don't know which one of these is erma um it's the one that's out in the Atlantic. Oh, bottom right?

Yeah. If you click the link there, you can sort of go... It's the one in the bottom right. And you can skip forward in time to like the eighth. If you go at the bottom, there's Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Click Friday.

Huh. What about this one up by Halifax? This one by Nova Scotia. I think that's the remainders of Harvey heading off. Oh, really? Okay. I didn't know where it was at this point. It's mostly dissipated.

It's over... I got a hell of a rain shower all night last night, and most of today, I would assume that that's what it was. But if you click Friday the 8th, you can see this thing. This thing is over the Dominican Republic and Cuba.

And you can sort of... I don't know if on this one you can, but on the other site I used, you could determine the... Yeah, the wind speed is at 190 as I'm clicking there on the inside. Oh, I can't be right. It says 310?

No, I can't be right. Well, yeah, if you put the marker on the inner wall, I don't know if that's KPH or what, but definitely going to be a category 4 or 5. It's a real question as to where it goes. That could be terrible if that goes into the Gulf. Because there's so many, I keep hearing, that so many of the levees and the rivers are at the maximum level.

And they're letting water into the city to keep them from bursting. All they need is another 24 inches of rain to just turn a disaster into a catastrophe. I wonder how long it takes for the water to clear. They're saying weeks. They're saying weeks. Because it has to go through drainage systems. I was reading a little bit about it today because I'm curious about that too.

They were saying good old-fashioned evaporation. When the storm drains start working correctly, when the pumps get back online, then maybe. And then last night I was watching CNN, there's all these like things being caused by the flooding. There's a hydrogen peroxide plant where there was two large explosions last night and 10 deputies inhaled the fumes and had to go to the hospital. But like they're keeping the crew so far back from that you don't even know what's going on. They're saying black smoke's coming from this chemical plant. There's going to be such an ecological environmental disaster there.

Forget about what's in that water, besides sewage and the cholera and the E. coli and stuff. What about the chemicals? What about all of the oil and all those refineries are there? I wouldn't be surprised if there's Kyle, it'll all flow safely

back into the sea. Nature's dumpster. Yeah, nature's dumpster. Yeah, nature's dumpster. That's where all of the things we're not interested in go. And then Irma will pick it all back up and distribute it right back onto us. I don't want to... For real, though, like 35 death toll, I think that's what it is so far, around 35. Think about if this happened in a not first world

country something this severe in a city as big as houston i think it's the fourth biggest city in the country one of the biggest in the world like the death toll would be in hundreds of thousands if we didn't have like climate change i mean this this is more severe weather systems like this i'm not saying this one is or is and i know nothing about that particularly for this but this type of thing is what you see with with i mean yeah that's totally possible i'm just saying like think about how much like obviously that many people dying is awful you know it's like you never think that you could but like think about how like if this happened in india hundreds of thousands

dead even if you pretend india has the same population as us like or you would think so right okay okay i know i might be a profiteering asshole but does anyone else see business opportunities in this i mean if you're a plumber or an hvac guy or a framer or working anywhere in the trades seriously consider moving to houston and working there in the trades, seriously consider moving to Houston and working there for the next couple of years. Or a real estate developer. There's a lot of opportunity. We have a place that's going to rebuild.

They've had a lot of damage. And people are going to be charging premium prices because supply and demand is wildly out of whack right there. There's a business in my universe from a while back. And they did environmental cleanup that was that was their business and uh to hear my father described it he's like you know the guy was just turning away making 400 grand nothing nothing and then katrina comes along boom they have like a seven million plus year and now he's like in a different stratosphere in terms of wealth

and uh it's like, yes. What do you do? Are you a plumber? Even an auto repairman might clean up down there. You want to be a one-stop shop. You want to show up down there. I'm going to open up a sponge store. You want to show up down there and offer a one-stop shop. We're going to go in there.

We're going to gut the whole first floor. We're going to drain any water that's in your sub-basement. We're going to rip all the drywall out. We're going to come into your house, and in three months, we're going to get it back to you brand new. Oh, you got a hole in your roof? We do that, too. If you could do that, you'd really clean up.

Lots of people will. Even the HVAC subcontractor that the guy you described hires is also going to clean up. There's such an opportunity to be made out of this disaster. And I feel like there's a lot of people who have the skill set to take advantage of it, who are just going to sit in their rut in Wyoming, doing what they've always done because they're not ambitious enough to go down there. And I don't feel like it's evil. You're going to have happy customers. The customers will determine whether or not you're good or bad.

Go down there and help them with their supply and demand issues. Do something. Yeah. Person like the only reason that there's that they'll be able to quickly get like you were saying, Oh, let us take us over for three months and we'll get you your house back. Like if there wasn't a price incentive for companies to go there and do

something like that, they'd be out of luck getting their house back the way it was, you know, or have one shitty contractor doing it for years on end. If anything, it seems like these people are like, all right, yeah, I understand there's a premium because our house and literally every other house was destroyed, but I'd much rather pay a premium and maybe go into debt or whatever,

but have a home again, like have a house. That's the better option. Only 15% of those homes have uh flood insurance that's oh that's but get in the game that's a scary number you know it is but the the government is going to bail them out which brings me to a related topic this area this houston area is filled with politicians that didn't help at sandy you know when sandy hit new york and new jersey they were like ah fuck those liberals now liberals. Now, it hit the red state, and everyone is like,

hey, I remember. But they'll get their money. The Republicans own pretty much every branch of government right now, so it's not like the Democrats could even play revenge if they would. Most of the funding is coming from the state level at this point right now. And from public

money. I saw Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart, the richest man in comedy, the state level at this point right now and from public and from public money i saw kevin hart kevin hart the richest man in comedy stepped up big with 25k k k okay thank you okay uh what's uh i saw what's uh jj watt who plays for the Houston Texans, he's got something rolling now where $10 million has been raised. Like, it's been... I went to his Twitter. $12 million, Chiz just said. Like, he's killing it.

So, awesome for him. I don't know anything about the Houston Texans, but I really like J.J. Watt now. Seems like a stand-up guy. Donald Trump donated $1 million today. I saw that, and I didn't believe it. $1 million. Because he always lies about I didn't believe it. $5 billion. Because he always lies about his donations.

Like, they're never true. It's always, like, someone else's money. Or, like, he was supposed to donate his presidential salary. Didn't do it. Well, you can't. He was going to defer it, but then they were like, well, we have to pay you. That's just the deal. Lots of presidents throughout have uh donated their

salary to other people and uh and trump said he would but hasn't thus far has he gotten his first check though like how do they pay the president monthly along with everyone else's payroll is it like shitty of me that like like a million dollars is so fucking much money but when i know somebody is a billionaire and they donate a million like my first thought is always like oh you could have done more but then like i also think if i was a billionaire i would see the logic in being like if i you know fucking owned wendy's and i was worth eight billion dollars and something like this happened like i could totally rationalize like i'm gonna donate a million dollars to this like that is a lot that's a lot for everybody but me there you

go perfect i feel great like like it and i know that they're not like these billionaires aren't sitting there liquid with you know just uh scrooge mcduck money sitting in a vault that they're they're hoarding but i don't know do you kind of get the same thing of where you're like oh really uh fucking you know king of saudi arabia you donated $2 million to this cause, you're worth $30 billion. I got that feeling about Kevin Hart. Because, like, someone Google Kevin Hart. Chiz, tell us how much Kevin Hart's worth. I'm going to guess $250 million to $500 million.

$110 million. I'll change the under on 250 you'd be right it's 120 million according to Chiz 120 million I undershot it, I lose I'm sure everyone's really thankful for that $25,000 but

we're all thinking the same thing right? you're one step above Joel Osteen motherfucker yeah, I'm sure there's plenty of local business owners who are ponying up more than that, who are worth $800,000, who are worth $1.3 million,

and they're coming up with $25K. Does Kevin Hart have any connection to the area? I don't know. Beyonce does. She's from Houston. I think she dropped a million or so, or as much as she could, she said, which that's not true.

Which is a lot. Well, as much as you could, she said, which that's not true. Which is a lot. Yeah. Well, as much as you could is probably like $90 or $100 million. But look, not to quibble over people's donations. No, but it would be like me donating $1.95 and then putting that news out there. Put a press release out. I'm writing this off. $1.95 straight to the cause.

I can buy a fifth of a gallon of gasoline at that one asshole's gas station that's charging $20 a gallon. Did you guys hear about that? Let's talk about price gouging because I knew that price gouging can be a positive sometimes, as insane as that sounds. So I looked it up, and here's some actual reasons why it's a good idea without price increases many people buy extra supplies just in case uh regardless of what they've got tucked away in their houses or what supplies they already have they're they'll go in there and they'll buy five generators and then they'll turn around and start selling them for profit and stuff uh price increase uh encourages conservation of the resources that people already have.

The ability to raise prices encourages businesses to stock excess reserves. It's not always an evil capitalist trying to make money off of suffering. Sometimes it's just the market adjusting for a catastrophe. Yeah, for the new enormous demand. That's a really good way to articulate it because i hadn't considered that before like if i were at that gas station and i were five cars back and it was normal prices for gas and there's some dude up there filling up his ninth can you know just in case it's like oh fuck dude like everybody else in

this line is paying for your safety right now like we're taking extra time gonna get flooded we're not gonna get what we need you're gonna have 10 times as much as you need you're gonna sell it to someone like i honestly i like my gut reaction to the 20 gallon of gas i'm like fucking asshole douche but this does actually make sense what if the gas is like five or seven instead i mean would that also have those positive effects? I bet it probably trended up. I bet it didn't go from 215 or 295 to 20 right away. I don't know. Yeah, it sounds awful.

And I mean, but I don't think it's always an evil thing that's happening. Sometimes it might be the best case scenario to make as many people safe and well as possible. Yeah, it might be. The end result could end up being much better for the populace, even though it sounds shitty. And, you know, if I had a case of water, I certainly wouldn't price gouge anyone. I'd be like, dude, come on. Come on. You want a couple bottles?

Do you think the people doing that, though, that's what they're thinking? This is for the best of everyone? No, it doesn't matter what they think, though's it's it's it's the end effect it's it's what the the the it's what i am not entirely sold on the argument yeah i i can hear what you're saying about maybe there's some benefits to it maybe i'd want to hear more about that but well there's my suspicion is these people are not doing this out of their thought that this will help the most number of people if i make the most money here. And I kind of think that motivation matters to some degree.

Like, retroactively, you're denying your neighbors. No, go ahead. Denying your community, denying your guests, denying your community, denying your neighbors things they need right now. You're only denying poor people these things. That makes it better, right? Yeah. poor people these things makes it better right if you were if you were at a store and they were quickly running out of aquafina water bottles that you're gonna need and it turns out that store left them at 299 for a 30 pack all weekend and you get there and 100 of everything is gone

that's that's pretty shitty you know whereas if they had changed if i get there and a hundred percent of everything is gone that's that's pretty shitty you know whereas if they had changed if i get there too and it's they're up to like a grand piece or a couple thousand dollars it wouldn't be a grand because there's a point where people just wouldn't be able to functionally pay for it but if it's 30 if it's 25 30 dollars for that 30 pack a dollar a bottle maybe now you don't go it's three dollars i probably need 500 bottles of water because this could take six months. Instead, you might go, all right, I'll grab two of these. That's going to be plenty of time to run out.

Here we are talking about this and we're thinking about, I mean, I'm applying rationality to it. And perhaps in that situation, rationality isn't a part of it. But if I look at that and go, it's $30 or $100 or $5 for those, and I rationally need those to survive i don't really care the price so and i might even think about that in the sense of all right yeah i can't really afford to pay a hundred dollars for a fucking carton of water regularly but in that scenario i could still overstock with that price and not you know no one is saved all that happens in what sense why why not if it's if it's a let's say it's a fifty dollar, a hundred dollar, to use your example, case of water. And let's say you showed up and, you know, you think you need, you know, two cases of water.

And so you'd spend two hundred. Right. Like that. That's what you would do if you showed up. And there were they were three dollars. They hadn't changed the price. were and they were three dollars they hadn't changed the price all that water is going to be gone and some dude out there has 13 cases of water that he is reselling to people for five dollars a pop so it's just i like i this is a good example kyle of something where on the face value you look at it and you're like oh already made up my mind i fucking got it like asshole but i've really when you do think about it this this makes sense it is conserving the current supply in a way um hotel rooms so uh we had a power outage here a couple of years ago and you know the first day you're like no big deal you know it's cold showers are crazy right i feel like a psychotic and then day

two comes around it's like i'm gonna go to my dad's house and take a shower and then day three comes around you're like tomorrow morning it'll just be on right and then day four comes you're like all right let's start looking for hotels and then we started looking and it's like they're all sold out every hotel room is sold out and i'm talking about a 30 mile radius every direction 30 miles they're sold out and the shittiest like motel room that like i'd never go to 25 miles away is 400 a night we ended up driving halfway to atlanta to get a hotel room at like some place called chateau elan uh that same place where i uh fucked my girlfriend in the back room by the way and uh yeah they don't know about that though yeah full

circle yeah it all comes back around and uh and and even there i think it was like 250 a night or something and they were normally like half that or something. It feels really shitty, but I guarantee some cunt would be buying up blocks of rooms for $100 each and then putting them on like subletting them out somehow on the internet or something if you did. He'd be on Craigslist like, I got a room, $600 a night. So the argument is someone else is going to be doing this already. We should do it to a lesser extent now? It's not an argument of morality it's an argument of of practicality i think in that by doing this you are making so that the first comers aren't basically getting every single thing in excess

you're making it so that people who show up late they're not showing up to an empty uh zombie land style store they're going to still see a $25 pack of water there that someone thought, okay, I'm not going to need seven of these anymore. I'm just going to give you an impossible question. It's no longer first-come, first-served. It's now most money first-served. Don't you see how that's better?

Well, no. If they were $3,000 cases of water, then yeah, you'd have a point. But for most people spending $20 on a case of water as opposed to $3, you know, you can still purchase two of those as opposed to $10. $20 for a gallon of gas. $20 for a gallon of gas or something like that. That's a lot. So it's definitely a lot, but it's not $1,000.

It's not prohibitively expensive for most people. You know, and it isn't a good situation there's shitty parts on both sides but i really what kyle said does make sense like i would be happy to pay the extra money so that if i wasn't able to get to the store on time and stock up like i'd be happy when i got there and if it works that way so and again i'm going to ask you a possible question in the sense that i mean just from spinning this out theoretically like what is actually happening here you can't know this, but do you know, well, maybe you do. Maybe you have some

sources I don't, but I suspect you don't. But do you have any sense that that's actually what occurred? Did that actually do what you're hypothesizing that it did? Did it actually slow down the rate of consumption of this? Did it actually make it so more people had this available to them than would otherwise happen? Because I don't know that that actually is the case.

It just happened. Why do you guys do that? Because that's how market economics work any other time. available to them than would otherwise happen. Because I don't know that that actually is the case. It would just happen. Because that's how market economics work any other time. That's how supply and demand works. There's only one article linked right here, and it agrees with my point of view. I can find more. But this is notorious right-wing site Huffington Post. Pull the extreme on that.

You've got two of them, and they're water. People are going to come in. They're going to pay whatever you've priced that at. Marketing it up isn't you made more people get it, you just made more profit off the two you had. So I understand that's an extreme and extreme is not necessarily, it's somewhat unfairly making your point here. But I am curious as to whether or not what you're suggesting actually happened because it's got this markup. Well, when you raise prices on things, got this markup well when you raise prices on things people they start to realign how much they need them like someone who sees like if i go to industry but if people just said it's probably what you said makes absolute sense you know when you realign prices people re-evaluate how much

do they actually need this but in a state of emergency where they're not sure of how long their power water etc is going to be out their assessment of how much they need this might go up as fast as your prices go up, in which case you haven't given it to many more people. All you've done is screw these individuals who are there for more. And that is literally price gouging, right? You take advantage of the fact that people have this extreme need. You take the extreme amount out of them. Yeah, but this is all an issue of whether or or not this is right or moral the way you're phrasing it and that's like and I agree it's probably not a hundred percent

moral or right agreed but who really cares it's it's an issue of when you raise the price on something people are gonna reevaluate the extent to which they need that and so if I walk into a Costco and all of those bottles of water are three dollars I'm gonna fill my fucking car with them fill my fucking car whereas if it's thirty dollars i might go hold on i might i will go hold on i'll go i'll get two of these because i really don't need all the rest of this and in doing so you've made it so that people aren't leaving there with entire you know jeep grand cherookees full of water while people who showed up late get you know a can of or a

Jar of pickles which wouldn't that's a Freudian slip you're thinking about buying a Jeep Grand Cherokee aren't you? It's I thought about it. Yeah, yeah It wasn't a Freudian slip I don't fuck it yeah, I want to fuck but it will get you late. Oh Okay, yeah, I It wasn't a Freudian slip. I don't want to fuck it. I don't want to fuck it. But it will get you laid. Oh, will it? Okay. Yeah. I'm going to put some great shoes on it. See where it takes me.

I made that same argument that Filthy made a dozen times, but for medicine. People will pay anything when they're in that state of emergency, and it's price gouging and it's wrong. To me, medicine is one of the few areas where it deserves some thought as to whether or not capitalism is the perfect fit for that. Mostly, I love capitalism. Almost every problem is solved efficiently with it. But in medicine, in states of emergency, some regulation might be called for. I don't know a lot about this.

Isn't there regulation for this? I'm pretty sure price gouging is illegal, right? I'm reading it right now. So it says, Paxton, a Republican, had a good answer. Clearly, and according to Paxton, clearly the Texas legislature thought differently because they put a penalty in place. Clearly they didn't want necessities to be jacked up in price.

Another host then chimed in wondering whether laws against price gouging might cut off the supply chain by reducing incentives uh... okay well that wasn't as interesting as i thought it would be sorry about that uh... i thought it was going to be a lot more enlightening to this but this this really seems to be just two articles of people going lot of people think the price gouging is okay, and they have a point. Other people seem to think that it's shady, and they have a point.

I'm Mr. Middle Ground. Phil wanted to talk about North Korea before the show came up. I don't know if it's great. North Korea? North Korea is best Korea. It's a very tricky topic, North Korea. I don't know what the's Korea. North Korea? North Korea is best Korea. Oh. It's a very tricky topic, North Korea. I don't know what the answer is there. I do.

Oh, well. What's the answer? I've got it. I'm so fortunate. I've got it. You've got to work from within, right? You've got to topple the Kim regime by killing him. You've got to kill Kim Jong-un and then find one of his generals to be your buddy, right?

Like, hey, Kim Jong-not, we'd like you to set things up for us, and we'd like some, you know, maybe you could be the supreme leader for a while. You got the crazy haircut, you got the wild blank eyes, you're at least 85 pounds overweight, we think you're a shoo-in. So let's do this. That is a very American way of solving problems. We'll kill them in an effort to make friends. We cleared South America out this way.

All right? Like, take no Koreans. Like, this works. You've got to kill that guy. You've got to kill that crazy motherfucking guy. Because here's the reason. It's what Bannon said. It's exactly what Bannon said.

Until you show me a hypothetical scenario that doesn't end with them killing 10 million people in Seoul in the first 30 minutes with just their artillery, then this is a no-go. We have nothing to do because 40 miles away, there are thousands of artillery pieces pointed at Seoul, a city of 25 million residents, and they're ready to go at a moment's notice. Those guys are insane. They're sitting there ready to pull the fucking lanyard and and start reloading as fast as they can to destroy that city And there's no stopping artillery pieces. It's not like you can use that thing Israel has the the David's sling or whatever You can't you can't intercept an artillery piece. This is a big fucking I didn't know conventional missiles Yeah, these aren't missiles easy. It's a it's a big fucking like 120 millimeter howitzer't missiles. It's a big fucking 120mm howitzer. It's a big shell.

I was saying only missiles can be intercepted. Yeah, they have to be slow moving so you can get that thing. In Israel, they intercept rocket-propelled grenades and all kinds of missiles. Man, how stressful does it have to be to be living in Seoul? Not at all.

You probably don't even think about it, honestly. Dude, you gotta be thinking about it somewhat. You've been living like that for how many years? Yeah, as a kid, we used to think about it sometimes during the Cold War. Like the Cold War thing? Yeah. My mother did in high school, maybe younger, did the fucking

duck and cover fucking bomb drills, right? We didn't actually do that, though. That was before me. Remember to duck duck and cover and look away from the light Just wait to disintegrate No, but I wanted to bring it up not because I think we have a solution I'm kind of curious about this situation not necessarily even there But just you can even tone it down in terms of degrees in this scenario But what do you do in a scenario where there's someone who is i mean for for north korea it's essentially insanity

at some level but it's it's an unwillingness to back down despite every rational element of being your outgunned what are you gonna do about that what are you doing a scenario like that he's this he's a smart he's the smartest fox on the planet if he'd ever stopped his goals for nuclear weapons he'd have been a Saddam Hussein or a Muammar Gaddafi. He'd been that guy getting his body drugged through the streets, having his statues slapped with sandals, because that's what we do when they do what we want.

When they give away all their weapons, and they let the UN in, and they take the humanitarian aid, and they stop being an outright cunt. We come in and drag them out and hang them, or let them get bullied and murdered in the streets of their own cities, and it's game over. He's been sitting back and watching that shit. Muammar Gaddafi, after 9-11, he was like, whoa, whoa, George W., I see you're on a war path. Here,

take all my shit. He's dead. He's dead. You see how he died horribly. Kim Jong-un wants to live, and he wants to be the third generation of a dynasty, and he wants there to be a fourth. Kim Jong-un wants to live, and he wants to be the third generation of a dynasty, and he wants there to be a fourth. And you've got to agree that if he gives up those nukes, he is in a much weaker position to make that happen than if he keeps going with them and he has that silver bullet that means the big bad wolf can't fuck with him. I'm glad you said that because I feel like instantly, every time America doesn't like someone, their leader is a madman. That one particular term, he's a madman. This guy can't be reasoned with. He's crazy. He's stupid and he's mad and he's this and he's that.

And I think, really? Really? You know, like this guy has managed to lead a country for the last 25 years. Not brilliantly, but he's working with what he's got. There were a lot of people who wanted King Jong-un's position when he was young and he somehow managed to keep it through the transition i might agree i might agree extreme rationality i wouldn't like the extreme rationality of that situation may be as kyle's presented it

in some way in other words it's rational for him to behave in this way that from a perspective of trying to like negotiate is possible because it gives him no advantage to do so that may be rational but i don't know if we're doing so well with what he has to work with like i feel like that's floating him a little bit a little bit more he's got tens of millions or at least millions of his citizens in internment camps mining for raw or troublemakers china like he's got like entire rabble rous. I heard they were bad kids. Entire families are born into... They're mother-in-law. I saw some of those people.

They're bad people. The worst people. I've never known people quite that bad. We don't send our best to internment camps. We send our worst. Absolutely not. The rapists. The murderers.

That's what Korea does to say. Millions of people live there and die, and their families are born into concentration camps and labor camps. They tear you away from your family. Just because he has been able to retain power doesn't mean that he's not a madman. Lots of madmen throughout history have been able to keep the reins of power. I don't think that lessens the madness, quote-unquote, that they're using to keep it.

I've watched so many leaders turn from friend to foe like in my lifetime that i don't trust it anymore you know the hell um who's the guy 9-11 the uh al-qaeda bin laden is who i'm searching for thank you yeah you know whether it be bin laden or hussein or shocks half a dozen other people that we've been at war with, they were all fine. They were all friends at one point. And then all of a sudden, we flip the switch and they're madmen. They're

unreasonable. They're crazy. And it's like, I don't know. I just feel like you watch it. Next time we beat the drums of war and every single... The Iraq war had an approval rating at one point I remember I said 98% people fact-checked and it was wrong but it was in the 90s like some 90 plus percent of people were excited it was only me

we're for the Iraq war and like it was it was insane but you CNN which was probably the biggest at the time and fox and everybody was beating the same drum on how we needed to go into iraq and solve this problem before another 9-11 happened and they would just breathe 9-11 and iraq in the same breath again and again and again and i watch it i've seen it and i was i don't trust it anymore and i don't want to be all tinfoil hattie but they're gonna say to say that this guy is crazy, that this guy can't be reasoned with. And oftentimes what they really mean is we have commercial interests there. Yep.

I really do think. Oh, go ahead, Filthy. All right. One, rationally, on some cynical part of me goes, do I care in In the sense of, if it really is our interest being protected there, and you know, who knows what that actually aligns my country's interests and my interests on some level, I almost don't care. So one part of me goes, is it even necessary to lie to me about that? And the second part of me goes, well, what are we doing about it? Because the second part of me kind of is worried about the fact in some level that this is, and this is kind

of what I want to bring up in the first place is what do you do in a scenario like this what do you do i mean what we've clearly not done right because it hasn't been resolved and perhaps that is through yeah it's escalating and perhaps the answer is they've chosen the right solution to counteract what we're doing but what have we done wrong what what is what needs to have been changed here to our last three presidents have just sat on their hands and haven't done anything like everybody everybody's just been passing the North Korea. I mean, Bill Clinton gave them a few billion dollars for them to stop their nuclear activity. And then that didn't pan out. Food and energy.

And I agree with you. It didn't work out. But Bill Clinton tried the reasoning thing. He's like, hey, we'll give you food and energy and humanitarian aid and you cancel your nuclear program. Dude, but that was the 90s. Like we knew already what they were doing there. Like, we knew they had internment camps of people. And that's why I can't get behind the whole, oh, it could just be.

Because you said they did nothing. Well, what really happened is they had to take their nuclear program underground, and it delayed their progress. And that wasn't what we were hoping for. You know, we were actually hoping to stop it. But that's what happened. To be fair, you can't say it delayed their progress because we can never know we gave them two small nuclear reactors as part of that deal to uh help substitute you know and what they do when we give them fuel and food they sell that shit to china and use that cash to buy enriched

uranium from iran or from russia or they or they buy blueprints or knowledge or technical aspects or maybe they buy a few scientists. Well, they had UN inspectors snooping around, and what I'm told is it made it harder. I don't know. It's a country. Maybe it's easy to hide shit in a whole country. And another thing about North Korea on a sidetrack, apparently it's hard to do spy operations there. Most countries, most countries, whether it be Russia or Germany or South America, which is not a country, you know, we have relations with them. There's people coming and going, et cetera.

But in North Korea, it's a black hole. There are not people coming and going. You can't just have, like, CIA agents, like, strolling around in North Korea very easily. So that's why they keep surprising us with their weapons capabilities. Like, oh, shucks, that ICBM was better than we thought it was. This nuclear thing is more reliable than we thought it was because we just don't have ghosty agents in there hiding

like we do in other countries. Yep. But, yeah, I don't know. North Korea is super tough. I find it really interesting. But to Filthy's point, I don't know any answer. Steve Bannon, I don't love him. Only 10 seconds.

The way he outlined it, we can't do anything because souls are vulnerable, made a lot of sense. Kyle? The only two things that could work, one, killing the guy, like I said, and propping up some other guy in there who would work with us or at least not want to destroy us. Or two, you keep destroy us or two you keep

choking the resources you keep getting china to say nope no more imports of this and and the other day you were like well what stops the chinese businessmen from like buying it anyway death death this this fucking chinese government does not fuck around they will disappear your ass and i think that if they if they continue to choke off their seafood imports as they're doing now their lead or their iron or their copper or imports they keep choking north korea as they are then eventually eventually the people start starving and blaming the leader and maybe like the higher ups someone seizes the power and there's a coup d'etat they they wipe out kim the kim family in one sweeping motion they

come in and take over whether that's better or worse for us who knows maybe a real actual madman a schizophrenic psychopath comes in and wipes the kim regime out and he's like what's this button do you know like you don't know it feels very rational though when you're being choked out you know by that description you know we're talking about rationality of this of the leader here if you're being choked out and you're to the point where your survival is on the line you know from that strategy why don't you push the button like i mean but like his survival isn't really i mean it is on the line in a way but also like i think we're making too many excuses for the dude to where if he came out and he said, you know, when he grabbed power from his dad or whatever,

and he said, you know, we're making a modern Korea. We're getting out of this age. We're bringing in technology. We're bringing in jobs. We're going to be a place that you want to, you know, invest. We're not doing internment camps anymore. We're going to have schools.

Like, if he really tried to do that, how many fucking countries on earth? And he said, and we're disbanding our military, just like Japan did post-World War II. And he did something like that. Every country on earth would be like, fuck yeah, yeah, we'll give money. We'll help start shit. We'll help get stuff going in North Korea. We'll make it so that when you look at a map at night, it's not bright as fuck Seoul and South Korea. And then a little pinprick where Pyongyang is.

It's like that could have happened, but really, they like being evil dictators. And he is an evil dictator. You can't have millions of people in concentration camps for decades and not calm them down. And I worry about this because this seems to be the route that we're kind of going. You know, okay,

you kill them, that's one solution, maybe. Maybe that happens. Or you try the kind of continued solution of economic sanctions and the rest of it that's been going on and let's say that's extremely successful let's say that puts the pressure on him that we want to have put on him why is his rational solution not at a certain point to be like this pressure is unbearable it might be. So if I were president,

the reason is what Kyle laid out earlier, everyone else who's agreed to that rational solution to start cooperating has been Hussein and Gaddafi and other people who didn't end well for them. And the thing about the Chinese sanctions, I want to point out, Kyle's like, yeah, China doesn't fuck around. You know,

you can't do business with them because China will kill you. What I keep trying to bring up is that's not what they've done. There've been sanctions against North Korea for a long time, and China has agreed to them and then fucking looked the other way and ignored them. I don't know that that's true.

I keep hearing these public denunciations coming out of China, and they see what's coming. There's been major escalation. That ICBM that they... There could be a change. That missile that they fired literally over Japan is a major provocation that that icbm that they change you know that missile that they fired literally over japan is a is a major provocation that's a huge thing yeah like like like it's really it

really seems like we're on the verge i had a nightmare the other night my father and i were were at his place and we saw an icbm fucking coming in the atmosphere to the east. And then a giant flash and a mushroom cloud. And it was like, oh, God, what do we do? What do we do? And then I woke up and I was like, like, it sounds silly, right? But in a dream, when you see a fucking nuclear weapon go off, it's like, I remember thinking in the dream, at least it's to the east that won't that you know the prevailing winds will take it out to sea or maybe unfortunately for you wet east coasters up to new north carolina if it's to the west then if it's to the west if they hit atlanta which they would where our cdc is i'm sure atlanta's bullseye by anybody who's got a good one it's one of the good ones uh you

know that that comes right at me and i'm like, there's no getting out for me if they nuke Atlanta. It doesn't matter that it's 130 miles away. The fallout is coming. Dude, if they nuke St. Louis, which they never will, it'll just, like, the next day, the American average crime statistics will just drop. day the american average crime statistics will just drop like it'll be like uh you know after st louis was murdered we saw a huge drop in murders in the midwest you know people really focusing on chicago now like that like they would never do that there's nothing here worth bombing like again it's too far away like i'm being in the midwest i don't get a really cool parking

lot for the library right we got a really cool library parking lot. They can fire their missile right through the arch on the way to whatever city they're going to hit. I think a lot... Or maybe they bomb the Budweiser factory. They would also lower crime, maybe.

They would lower obesity. I think that a lot of our... Yeah, I'm looking at it right here. There's nuclear weapon target map for Missouri. Let me – Really link that. I want to see that. Yeah, yeah. I mean there are – Missouri is one of the states that has nukes.

Yeah, that's the thing. If you get into – if you scroll all the way down, specifically the state of Missouri, a lot of targets there. I think a lot of our arsenal is housed in the Midwest, in those desolate places for a reason. So that if they are targeted, then you get the least population fallout. But you gotta have your missiles.

If your nuclear missiles were in New York City, then of course that's a double whammy. You definitely want to get that. But if it's Wyoming, you're like, all we're going to do is hope that that one... I see that comes from why would you link this kyle this is information i didn't need to know time to move where are there no attacks canada where it looks like canada yeah you know if you just would have asked nice, you would have given it. Dirty whiskeys.

Yeah. We're not one for war, you know. Our southern half does that for us. Oh, that's not true. Don't say that. No, not true at all. Our Canadian fans out there, they know what they have to do. Canada is with us every war.

You've heard me laud Canada every time. Canada is always with us. Canada is our BFF. I feel that way about the UK. The UK used to be our BFF, and they still are a BF. But I feel like sometime in the last hundred years or so, Canada snuck in there and took the BFF title. I think so.

Maybe it's because I'm an enormous hockey fan, so I love Canadians in Canada. But that's the way I see it. I still like like look that second golf war we were clearly wrong that whole weapons of mass destruction thing was bullshit I could see it was bullshit at the time I was like how come there's no evidence how can if it was a capital crime it was a murder trial we would look for some kind of evidence and he going into this they were like fuck and I think we'll find something after we kill them i think i bet i bet that's what which were the second iraq war yet the uk went in there with us anyway the rest of the first iraq war there was like this big coalition every country's in it there are some people in the second iraq war

it was us the uk and like 10 guys from Australia and I'm not sure about Canada you might be right but UK definitely put in some like legit forces like they were like one third of it so UK gets into trouble I remember that shit a good friend backs you even when you're wrong I won't go over there

myself but you know I'll support whoever does you know that's what America is. America is that chick who's like, if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best. I guess we kind of have to support them because

they provide all of our movies and TV shows and fun things and a lot of the culture we get from there is fun. Crazy chicks are fun. Yeah, we're America's or the world's crazy chick. and a lot of the culture we get from there is fun. Crazy chicks are fun. Yeah. Yeah, we're America's, we're the world's crazy chick.

We're fun and we're right in bed. The first time you called it the golf war and I was going to ask you if Woods or Mickelson won the golf war. This episode of PK is brought to you by HelloFresh. HelloFresh is the meal kit delivery service that makes cooking more fun so you can focus on the whole experience, not just the final plate. Each week, HelloFresh creates new delicious recipes with step-by-step instructions

designed to take around 30 minutes for everyone from novices to seasoned home cooks short on time. HelloFresh currently offers their customers a classic box, a veggie box, and a family box. Customers can order three, four, or five different meals per week designed for either two or four people. New recipes are created every week and they source the freshest ingredients, measure to the exact quantities needed, so there's no food waste. HelloFresh employs two full-time registered dietitians on staff who review each recipe to ensure that it's nutritionally balanced. HelloFresh is now offering light summer meals and has just introduced breakfast options, delicious ingredients you'll love to eat, simple recipes you'll love to cook. So get cooking for less than $10 per meal. Get started today and get $30 off your first week of deliveries by visiting HelloFresh.com

and entering code PKA30 when you subscribe. Again, that's HelloFresh.com, promo code PKA30. I'm a big fan. They're absolutely right when they say there's no food waste. When you get done, there's just a bunch of empty wrappers and little containers and stuff. You're like, I wasted nothing. I needed every baby carrot was required. Every ounce of olive oil was needed. Every tidbit of mayo was required. It's a nice feeling to get done, and you just got to, you know, you ball everything up and you throw it away. And you've got a really, really nice meal that you can lie to some girl and tell her you made from scratch because you did. Which is, it's only barely a lie.

I mean, it's only barely a lie. It's the kind of lie that Woody would feel comfortable telling a woman. Like, yeah, I did all of this. You don't have to steep to Kyle-level dishonesty when you do this. This isn't like ordering some catering in and being like, I made it all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's just how I roll. No, you actually get to do it. And I would suggest, because we're pretty focused right now on getting women, I feel like.

Everything revolves around that because everything in life revolves around that. That's the point. It's a really cool thing to do with someone, to cook alongside the girl or just to cook while you have a conversation with her. Maybe she's over there having a little wine. You're over there dicing up your onion,

showing off your Gordon Ramsay technique. I watch those Gordon Ramsaysey videos over and over to learn how to finely dice stuff and how to move my fingers and stuff and how to let the knife do the work and all that stuff. I'm pretty obsessed with it these days. He has a really cool video on how to get every tidbit of lobster out of a lobster. He gets done, and he's like, but wait, we're not done yet. And he starts rolling, pinning the meat out of a lobster he gets done and he's like but wait we're not done yet and he starts like rolling pinning the meat out of each leg and stuff and uh it's really cool to see so

yeah if you want to be an amateur gordon ramsay uh preparing some delicious meals for the ladies hello fresh what a good idea and uh here's one that i think maybe you know if everybody's interested in we could uh we could have some fun with a sponsor later on. You've been waiting for this since February 6th. Football season is almost here, and there's no better way to get closer to the game you love than with DraftKings One Week Fantasy Football. To celebrate, DraftKings is hosting a $100,000 contest

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in total prizes. Yeah. And if you draft the perfect lineup, like I said, $1 billion. That's promo code PAINKILLER to play for your shot to win $1 billion week one dollars in total prizes yeah and if you draft the perfect lineup like i said one billion dollars that's promo code painkiller to play for your shot to win one billion dollars uh week one the contest is totally free to enter why shouldn't you try draft kings the game inside the game eligibility eligibility restrictions apply so see draftkings.com for details i uh i've never really done much fantasy football uh but i but i you but I watch the Stern Show and other podcasts who get really into it,

and then every week the low man on the totem pole has to do something they don't want to do. There's often a punishment. And I think it would be really fun. I'm a big football noob. There was a time when I watched tons of ESPN and SportsCenter, and you watch three hours of that a day, you're up to speed.

That's not me right now. I know little tidbits. You still like college. I'm so wishy-washy with that. See, in the NFL, your team can lose a game or two, and there's still a shot at the playoffs, right? Like, no big deal. But in college, with the BCS system,

and I know they've added the playoffs now, it's like, damn, you lose a game. God damn it, Georgia. You lost the wrong game. You're not getting in. You can't lose to some middling school from Missouri. It's not going to work. Oh, come on. What was it?

The last two years, we've lost to you, and before that we beat you three years in a row? Are we still on the top of that? I haven't been happy with Georgia in a very long time. You guys were especially not happy when a bunch of Georgia fans were giving Mizzou fans shit when we joined the SEC, and then we won the SEC East that year, and you guys were not good.

You guys were not pleased with that. You weren't pleased when we did better than you the following year. I'm glad we fired our coach, but I think there are more firemen to come. Matthew Stafford, former Georgia alumni, is about to become the highest paid athlete in the NFL, by the way. So I'm very... And he's never won a playoff game.

Well, soon to come. That's not how you measure a player. Yeah, he's building a franchise, baby. They're putting pieces in play. I'm an Alliance fans who cares who's giving you shit i have no i don't know anything about the nfl and hey you want to talk about george is bad enough right because we keep falling short look what the falcons did last year i was sitting next to you as it happened you watched like the pain in my eyes as at halftime the

falcons are up i'm gonna i think 27 to 3 and3. And I think maybe Chiz was like, well, that one's in the bag. And I was like, no. That's Tom motherfucking Brady out there. That is the best quarterback there's ever been. He can score four TDs in a quarter. Let's just hang on tight here. And sure enough, like TD after TD, fucking kick a field goal or two, and it's game over, bro.

It was humiliating. So if you want to experience that humiliation in a brand new and even more visceral way with a little something on the line, DraftKings is the way to go. If we do a DraftKings thing, I've been thinking about this, because in the past we bet $10 on this, $10 on that,

$5 on McGregor, $5 if he loses, blah, blah, blah. But at the end, I'm just clicking a button on PayPal. It doesn't hurt a bit. I barely even feel it. Humiliation. Humiliation is the key. Because I was watching ONA the other night, and I saw that they – I guess maybe they're going to have, like, KISS come in or something. Chiz, will you link the photo of her?

Yeah, thank you. Like, pull that up for the crowd. There's this poor lady they mock endlessly on the show named Lady Di. They told her they were going to give her kiss makeup. You know, kiss. Each of the members has a different thing going on. It's a white face paint within, you know, the one guy's got a star on his eye and Gene Simmons has

the stripes or whatever. It's kind of cool and if you're a fan of it, then you can paint your face that way even though it looks a little silly because that's the thing, right? You're a rocker. They told her that's what they were giving her. Instead, they painted her face like Jigsaw from the Saw movies. So, I say...

Close enough. Kyle still hasn't paid me for that last bet. Really? It didn't go through? It should have gotten sent to the PKA. That's where I checked. I'll check my private one. I'll tap Kitty on the shoulder one more time. I don't know the password to it. I honestly couldn't send it to you if I wanted to, but I promise you, you'll get my private one. I'll tap Kitty on the shoulder one more time. I don't know the password to it.

I honestly, like, I couldn't send it to you if I wanted to. But I promise you, you'll get your $10. Anyway, Kyle, I don't want Lady Di what you're saying. I'll pay the fig, Tony. Don't worry. I'll pay the fig. Don't have Christopher come break my knees. Like, I'll get it to you. I promise.

Plus fig. But what I'm suggesting no is that in the future our bets are something like this imagine if you had to paint your face for an entire episode of the show if you had to roll in here with my choice of what was painted on your face i like this jigsaw look it's it's pretty fucking creepy i think that's what should be on the line if we do a little draft oh man if if you guys ever lost a bet to me, there's a thousand percent chance I'm making you wear blackface on the show. Oh, no. No, no, no, no.

The problem with this is I'm not getting paid for my current bets. At $10, he still doesn't pay up, right? So let's say I lose the next bet. I'm going to wear fucking blackface knowing he won't even, like. Wait, Woody, Woody, hold on. Here's something right here. The money hasn't gone through yet. Maybe right now is the time to test the first run of the face painting.

What if you could tell a guy with the famous face? Hey, perhaps you're unfamiliar with the VIG. We forgive the $10 and you come in with blackface next week. Not blackface, not blackface. We're a very tasteful show. I'll take the jigsaw cheeks. Yeah, yeah. If you do jigsaw cheeks next week...

I have done my best to get your money. I promise. Not good enough. It's been weeks now. It's been Saturday. It was the McGregor fight. Saturday. Has it only been five days or something?

Yeah. Time's going a little slow for me. I was like, Kitty. He told me he paid me. I told Kitty to pay you, and she'd done it. What? I just checked. Well, either the $10 will go through soon after this,

or you could do a fun face painting, like paint you up like one of those Bishushka Russian dolls that you put inside each other, just anything like that. It'll be fine. Or a Survey Monkey or something like that. Let the fans choose what Kyle comes painted as. You say paint him like a monkey, like the way a child would get painted. That's great.

I said Survey Monkey, the website that people, you know, could choose which one they want Kyle to come as. You know, because my idea was like, so I think we were doing a Hangout Live on Sunday, and I was like, hey, Kyle, wouldn't it be fun? You could pay me right here, like, you know, during the Hangout. And he's like, nah, I can't do it. You know, I'll have Kitty do it.

I can't. I can't. I don't know how. I don't have the password. I don't have it. Look, look, there's excuses and there's results. One I care about, one I don't know how. I don't have the password. I don't have it. Look, look. There's excuses and there's results. One I care about, one I don't. This is the same attitude

he gave that poor fan, by the way. He earned it even more. But if it was the opposite, like I bet with Joe's Lozon all the time. Within minutes of the result, the money is paid. He knows his fucking password. So, Kyle, you've been watching these Lady Di videos. So I've noticed Chiz is linking a lot of these recently.

Lady Di is like, what's that guy's name? Beetlejuice from Howard Stern we talked about. Where he's basically part of the Whack Pack. Yes. The Whack Pack. And they mock him and make fun of him. And he's like a midget guy with a deformity. This lady, Lady Dot.

He's got that thing that you get in Brazil from the mosquitoes, where your head's really tiny. Well, he didn't have Zika, but he like has that deformity. He's got the very, like one third size skull that's cone shaped. Like microencephaly or something like that? Something like that. And it causes him to be, you know, really uh intellectually like like he's always sitting there like counting money because he wants to be like a like a baller but they're like how much you got and he's like uh

you know about ten thousand dollars it's like he's like got eighteen dollars or something like he can't count say well see this lady lady dies in the same vein as that she's not retarded in the truest sense she's like a stone cold severe severe severe alcoholic who drinks like morning noon and night always um i don't remember what it was in the show she would always say she drank like natty ice or um milwaukee's best ice one of those like horrible super super strong beers and uh And they make fun of her so ruthlessly. And the first few times you hear them do it, you're like, oh, this is mean. They're making fun of this poor lady.

And the more they pull out of her, the more you realize she is annoying and horrible and abandoned her son so she could just drink with some dude that she lives with for free, probably for sexual favors and it went on like that for years to where you'd listen to her come on the show and you'd see this continual race to dementia that happens when you're like 50 years old and you have been you know drinking and like an insane person for 35 years or whatever it is and in the last interview they have her on she has been like she's got water on the brain like i don't know what they call it like liquor brain or something like i don't know what the

phrase is wet wet brain i don't know but she's been an alcoholic for so long they start asking her like waterhead yeah no let me no no no but similar to that but they start asking her what she's doing and she starts giving answers like oh yeah, yeah, I'm still on a Navy ship. You know, I'm out on the coast doing these things. And she was in the Coast Guard when she was like 18 or 20 or something. And she drank so much that the last interview with her is her completely insane. She doesn't know where she is. She doesn't know who she is.

She doesn't know what year it is. She doesn't know what job she's at. She doesn't know where she is. She doesn't know who she is. She doesn't know what year it is. She doesn't know what job she's at. She doesn't know that she hasn't had a job in decades. Like, it's really, really sad at the end of her, like, ONA life cycle, where you see, like, yeah, this was made fun of in a joke for so long, but, like, you know, this is real shit happening that whole time. Like, that poor lady's son just didn't have a mother because she was so horrible, and now he has

an insane mother so all right you know the $10 will come the test what why you gave me a hard time No, I'm not giving you a hard time. I'm giving I'm telling Kyle and shiz to stop writing about it in the chat That's where she sent it she sent it to the one that I sent there that I says is blank a blank you She sent it there. She says there's a verified account. That's where she sent it. She sent it to the one that I sent there. I says, is blankety blank you. She sent it there. She says there's a verified account that's you. Yeah, that one's me too. I'll check it. Alright, so

you're the one who messed up. Oh my gosh. You told me where you sent it and then it wasn't there. How am I messing up? I did not tell you where I sent it. Yes, you did. Even on the show you said it too. Well, she said it to me. I can oh even on the show you said it too well she said it to me I can only work with the information that I'm provided it's just for ten dollars I know the

point it's not the ten dollars obviously it's that like see I before we did it I was like hey with this bet let's actually pay because we have like years of like hey I'll bet you five dollars and then there's no payment ever and I'm like i don't really like because i don't like not paying and i don't like not being paid both of those don't work for me so i was like if we do this bet we should actually pay and then you know and then i strenuously tried to pay to and it wasn't good enough he said hey i didn't know your account so I sent it to this one instead, which I also had the login to. And I checked it, and it wasn't there. I found another To Filthy's question from a while ago.

I see it. Thank you. To Filthy's question a while ago about what it would take for a perfect 10 to not want her anymore. I just linked 10 unusual genetic mutations. And number nine, if you go on there, is called trimethylaminuria. Trimethylaminuria, I guess. Purple teeth. And it says, this genetic disorder is so rare that its rate of incidence is not even known.

But it's very obvious when someone with trimethylmenuria is standing next to you. Individuals with the condition, because they cannot break down the nationally occurring but pungent smelling trimethylamine, they literally smell like rotting fish, rotting eggs, garbage, or urine. For this reason, it's also called fish odor syndrome. It's found in sweat, urine, exhaled breath, and other body secretions. But for individuals with this disorder, it's also called fish odor syndrome. It's found in sweat, urine, exhaled breath, and other body secretions. But for individuals with this disorder, typically women, for unknown reasons,

it shows up in abnormal amounts. The severity of the odors seem to peak just before and during menstrual periods, and after taking oral contraceptives, there may be a link to female sex hormones like progesterone or estrogen. Yeah, there's a couple instances of that in fiction. If you watch Boardwalk Empire, Al Capone's like underling, he smelled terrible, and there's a couple instances of that in fiction. If you watch Boardwalk Empire, Al Capone's underling, he smelled terrible.

And there's a scene where a guy beats him for smelling terribly, and he's crying to Al Capone. He's like, you think I want to smell this way? I take a shower, and three hours later, I smell like this. And he turns around to Al. He's like, what can I? And Al's gone. He's already went to the bar to clear things up. And he literally beats that man to death.

And then, of course, Reek. The Reek from the Game of Thrones. Made for his funeral. The original Reek, that was his thing. He smelled horribly. And it didn't matter if he bathed or not. Ramsay's first Reek. Because the first Reek dies. Andamsay replaces him to like hide under

that guys and then he makes theon into his new reek okay i didn't know that um i i would this would be a horrible horrible thing i went to college with a girl they gave her a medicine when she was really young say under five and it made her teeth turn purple and she was completely normal and sweet and fine like in every other way but purple teeth is a huge social disadvantage i felt bad for her yeah that's really people make fun of her yeah of course they did what they say just i don't they thought it was a hygiene issue you know they they blamed her for her purple teeth when in reality it was some she's been eating blueberry pie all fucking night no like she didn't brush her teeth like like like she let her rotten teeth get so out of control

they were permanently tinted purple i went to elementary school this girl and her dad's dentist her dad is a dentist and i just remember like her teeth were all fucked up like like so gross all the time and I remember like would be driving home from school my mom would be like I can't believe I can't believe that dr. blah blah blah has her teeth looking that way and it's like yeah no excuses play like a champion and then there's kids who like didn't have like any family support their teeth would always have that like thick fluffy yellow shit up film on them I don't understand that like if i don't brush my teeth like they and they start feeling sly like i wake up and i'm you got cat shit mouth it's like oh can't wait to get

in there and brush those teeth really well like like nobody ever had to tell me to go and actually no that's not long enough like no i'm i want to get everywhere right like i don't get that but sounds like that wasn't her issue at all. Poor girl, her teeth turned purple. I hope she got... You know, I mean, purple teeth, it seems like you could get that, like, just use some white strips, right? Or get your teeth professionally whitened? Would that not work?

I bet whatever's causing that sounds like something on the inside of the tooth is going on. You need new teeth, I bet. I think she needs veneers. Yeah. Now, one that's not totally an entire turn-off, go up to number seven right there, if you will. If she's very hot, I will deal with some ectrodactyl,

which is known as lobster claw hand. Individuals with this disorder have a cleft where the middle finger or toe should be. The split hand and split foot mouth formations are rare limb deformities which can manifest in a number of ways, including cases including... including cases including, that's written badly, only the thumb and one finger. Typically the little finger or little finger. This, what?

Who wrote this? I don't, I don't trust any of this anymore. So if she looks like the penguin, like, do you, what are you gonna do when you get a hankering for some crab, Taylor? I know how much you like crab. What are you going to do? You could go in there and you...

Come on. Never take the red lobster. I bet that hand job would be off the chain, though, right? I was actually thinking that on the opposite side, that it would be awful. Get that flipper on my cock, bitch. Yeah. You wouldn't call it a flipper,

or she would really probably dislike that. Hey, call it flipper on my cock, bitch. Yeah. You wouldn't call it a flipper, or she would really probably dislike that. Hey, call it flipper. Flipper. Faster than lightning. What if a chick like that was into being degraded, and so you had to just say awful things and be like, yeah, take it, you flipper-handed

bitch. Your mom wishes she didn't smoke so many fucking parliament lights and drink so much Jack when she was married, doesn't she? Oh man. You were the fun one at the reunions, weren't you? Yeah. To be fair,

if this occurs on Tinder for you, you gotta share. I mean, this has to come out now. If this occurs on Tinder and I meet someone with this disorder, I am not going to meet them in public and be rude because that is what an evil person would do. If this happens, I would buy her story that she accidentally swiped right. She wants to be degraded and this is what happens. That has to be shared because that is a story that has to be fucking shared. It will.

That is related to a movie of some sort. I came into my bed naked with a bucket of chum. Alright? And then things got weird. Taylor, you have a story on Tinder of someone who's really interesting right now. Is it too soon to share? Is it active? Yeah, it's too soon

to share. Definitely too soon to share. She uses melted butter to loot. She's fascinating. Back to the other Tinder thing uses melted butter to loot she's fascinating back to the other tinder thing I was going to say earlier I was talking about cleaning before anybody comes over and I was tidying up and I do tactical cleaning

because I don't want it to be entirely spotless because that's obvious it's like this person clearly prepared for this you leave a couple things out make sure it's a tactical clean I have an enormous pile of many, many, many, many, many magic cards and decks sitting on my coffee table.

And I was about to start putting those away, and I was like, she needs to know. She needs to know this. Like, this level of thing. Because when you see on there, like, I like nerdy girls. Like, no, like, a million comedians have said, you like hot guys with glasses. Like, you don't actually like,, I like nerdy girls. Like, no, like a million comedians have said, you like hot guys with glasses.

Like, you don't actually like, you know, nerdy shit. Or maybe they actually do. Maybe I have a girl over, and she goes, oh, is that your fucking tree man tribal deck? Let's break those out and play. Like, that would be the best scenario possible. So I'm leaving those out. Well, I'm not going to leave all of them out. I don't want to seem like I'm painting.

Not the binders. Do not let her see the binders. If she sees that binder... You're fucking lying! Please tell me you actually thought that. Please tell me you sat there and thought, 8 decks is just right. 10 would be too many. But 8 is good. Please tell me that. There are 11 decks over there. I'm going to leave maybe 5 or 6 out. Unless there are more of my favorites. I'll gonna leave maybe 5 or 6 out. Unless there are more of my favorites, and I'll just leave my top 6 decks out. You wouldn't want to see the binder with them all laminated and

shit and stored away, like 4 copies of each on every page. Then she knows what's up. Then she'll know. Yeah, but the dream scenario would be a girl coming over and just looking at the cards. Maybe you left some clues. There's a couple key cards out there to be components of that deck that you just left on the table she's like oh is that a is that a murloc deck you know like i don't

know what the fuck it would be for magic but you know sounds right enough yeah merfolk it's close yeah that but that'll be perfect for my Oh I love the merfolk deck Let me shuffle that up with my Lobster claw hands And you're like god damn lobster claw hands Are amazing for shuffling She's like one of those You got to put butter all over them you dumb whore

I want to hear the end of this though Okay so strategic cleaning Strategic cleaning And so basically i clean up everything and make everything orderly but i don't entirely you know uh cleanse everything so i have do you leave the other decks in like a location that's easily found alt like you know like you looked like in one of my shelves you'd see it like it's not hidden yeah i just don't think that you're just like your ideal woman not only finds the decker of merfolk she then looks a little further and finds the other deck she's like oh you sly dog you've been holding out on me

oh yes she well she finds the merfolk deck or whatever deck and then from there she'll think wow this is a very impressive collection of magic cards. And then I'll go, ha ha, just don't even know there's more on the shelf over here, idiot. And then I'll show her that. And then we'll play magic. And it'll be a fun evening. This isn't going to happen. But it might. It might. A lot of girls play magic.

Or not a lot. Some. Opie and Anthony's lady die. I'm still stuck on her. Does she have fetal alcohol syndrome? I don't know. has john candy syndrome she she she is just fucking hideous they call her flat so because she's fat but she has a flat chest they are as cruel to her as you can beat a human being i can only stand about an hour of ona at a time not that it's not brilliant hilarious and cruel as fuck it's just that it hurts my soul a little bit to listen to them down on somebody that long that hard they're like shut up you blithering pig you know and she'll just be uh did you listen so they had her in a few years ago

as an intern as like a bit where they're like oh lady die you've been unemployed for eight years just drinking from you know 5 a.m to 5 a.m basically for your whole life we're gonna bring you in as a as an intern and like all the interviews and talking jim and ant and uh opie talking about it and all the guests like it shows really quick it's not nearly as funny as it is when she's on the phone it's like she was breaking off to go to the bathroom and like guzzle beers or if she didn't let her drink She'd be vomiting going through withdrawal and shit like Jesus. Yeah, she just said it gets sad exactly It gets sad after a while because it's like holy fuck for people. This is a real woman's life spotting

who's just spotting fetal alcohol syndrome is one of my talents and Here I'll let the viewers compare to Oops, I clicked let the viewers compare, too. Oops, I clicked on the wrong thing. She might have it, but the bigger thing you can notice there is look at the end of her nose. She's got the alcoholic nose. Yeah. Like that giant, bulbous thing.

It's fat and bulgy. You'll see that in people. Look at, is it called a flanium? What is that thing called under your nose that is the two vertical lines? Filtrum. Friendlium. Friendlium? Filtrum. Kyle, you know what you're doing. I think it does look like Filtrum.

Fuck you, Kyle. So, this is... He tries to mislead me and make me look silly. Honestly, I was trying to get it. I was trying to remember that one. I think it's frenulum. I'm sure.

I'm sure this time is different than all the others. Yeah, right. So anyway, check her out. She does not have that thing under her nose, those two vertical lines. That's one of the symptoms of fetal alcohol syndrome. She has a very thin upper lip. That's another one of the symptoms of fetal alcohol syndrome. And then there are other things that are disguised. Like the nose is supposed to be

very specific. I feel like she doesn't have it. But then Taylor points out that nose has been modified by years of alcohol abuse. This one's not a slam dunk to me in terms of fetal alcohol syndrome, but there's hints on this woman that that's what's up with her. She's so full-blown alcoholic on a daily basis that like her face is transformed by that so i mean it's probably a good bet there's there's some genetic predisposition to like enjoy drinking natty ice all day but i think she's done a lot of damage to herself you guys been around like full alcoholics before like yeah i don't think i've been around a lot but like i had a friend of a friend who was like that and like you know i like the extent to this person no never like i don't know about i think i i think it's even then i was still around

functional alcoholics but it would be you know you you turn around and it'd be in the morning you know be hanging out and they'd have gone and made themselves a coffee and you learn later that they kept pouring shots of whiskey into this coffee you know it'd be two in the afternoon on just a standard fucking day or something and they'd have been passed out three times already from drinking it's it's unbelievable my dad had a guy that has it's just like full fucking bone there was a guy that worked for us when i was growing up and i was i was young but uh he was an old man even then and uh his name was jd and uh my dad would be like jd you drinking and this literally happened i watched it go down he's standing on a concrete floor and i guess my dad would be like, JD, you drinking? And this literally happened. I watched it go down.

He's standing on a concrete floor. And I guess my dad smelled it. Or I think JD had been like passed out in a truck, like taking a nap in the middle of the day or something. He's like, JD, you been drinking? Because you know, you know, you can't be drinking on the job or whatever. And JD's like, no, I ain't had a drop. And just then, a bottle that he had stuck in the waistband of his like sweatpants slides down the leg of the sweatpants and shatters on the concrete, like a little bottle of vodka.

And Dad's like, what's that? That ain't mine. I was like, what? Well, then you're a magician, JD. Like, what the fuck? That's sad. Go ahead and check it. There's no vodka in there.

Yeah, I see. Was it the shaggy defense? We talked about this a little while ago. That wasn't me. This song. Yeah. It wasn't me. Filthy's right. Like, this lady die. Her level of alcoholism.

Like, just from hearing about all of the intern stuff she did. Where, like, I think Sam, who's still on the show with Jim, was talking about how she was vomiting blood into the sink at one point because she's over 50 and has... Think about it. If she's drinking, I don't know how many Natty Ices you drink a day

for someone like that. 30. That's insane. That means that she can't possibly be eating anything right like you can't fit 30 beers you couldn't drink 30 cans of water in a day and still eat enough food that's how this guy was like like we'd often like try to give him food and he's like i don't want that i'd rather have three dollars or he he had like alcoholic math so he'd be like i need 67 cents because I already got 34 cents. And that'll get me right up to the 100-milliliter bottle of Mr. Boston.

He could do this alcoholic math like that. He's like, can I borrow 83 cents? And it's like, dude, you can have a dollar. And then you see him go, like the numbers are going again. He's like, can I have $1.22? No, you can have one dollar like like jesus christ like like it's sad to see someone who's that dependent um that's their fuel that's their that's what they live for yeah it's like uh if you're like her like that's that's the same level if not more dangerous than like uh heroin withdrawal like if you are someone like her who

drinks constantly and then you just stop you can literally die like the same way that you can die going cold turkey from heroin like you'll even have a seizure like the the last straw the reason my dad finally fired that guy is because he was on a ladder changing light bulbs and he had a seizure right there he hits the floor seizing up my dad and they're standing there with him neither one of us have any idea what to do. It looks like he's dying. We're both terrified. I was 12 or something. And we're watching this grown man just convulse on the ground. And I guess he bit his tongue a bit. There's blood coming out of his mouth. And he comes out of it, and he doesn't remember anything. And we're like, we thought you were having a stroke or a heart attack.

We didn't know. We thought you were a goner. He's like, oh, I'm fine. I'm fine. Don't worry about it. And he's trying to go back in there and get on that ladder. He's trying to go back in there and get on that ladder. And we're like, we're going to take you home, and I think this is it forever.

Because if you come off that ladder, you could have easily just died on our watch here. And we can't be having that. It was a sad guy sad guy but we always take him something for he's still alive taking something for thanksgiving christmas every year feel bad that is really sad man but the the first you know calls of lady die are all really funny you know as they're mocking this lady and and just to be fair she is a piece of shit person who abandoned her child to drink you know be homeless you know blowing homeless guys like living with another dude like just totally abandoned her kid piece of shit person yeah but she isn't even that passionate about it. Like, ah, just sad. What was the reference?

Was it a Game of Thrones? There will be blood. There's a church scene where he's slapping Daniel Day-Lewis around, and he's making him repeat after him, I abandoned my child! Louder, Daniel, louder! I abandoned my child! He's just, like, freaking out in that church when he slaps him around. I love that fucking movie

I've seen half a dozen times. I'm not sure I've seen it. Oh, that's a great film. There will be blood. Oh, that's the one where like- oil and capitalism and greed. Yeah, yeah, and they um Like one guy sort of becomes the parent to that guy's child or something like he's a more attractive parent. Does this sound right at all? Like the kid sort of gravitates towards the bad guy no no no that's a different this is the one with daniel day lewis uh where the kid goes deaf i don't think i've seen it then it's top fucking tier i would like like it's definitely my top five you hated it yeah how what did you dislike don't know my brother loved it i watched it i fucking hated it i Yeah. How? What did you dislike? Don't know. My brother loved it. I watched it. I fucking hated it.

I just hated every part about it. That's what I normally do when I hate something. I do it again until I like it. Is it really long? Yeah. Yeah, I think it's really long. It's well over two hours, right? It's about capitalism, the earliest days of capitalism.

And he has this quote. He's like, I want for no one else to succeed. Like Daniel Day-Lewis kills it as this oil baron. He's got this whole thing. He's like, my name is Daniel Plainview, and this is my boy, HW. We run a family business here. And when I say that I can get you timber and start drilling within a week, I mean it. Because I have connections in the timber business, and these things go by friendship.

And he's like laying this whole sales pitch out for this town. And they get a little uppity about it they're like well how much money you're gonna give us and he's like i've had enough of this i don't have time for it i'm going to leave and he just like leaves them with like oil pouring out in their streets it's he ends up amassing an ungodly fortune like a rockefeller style fortune but his nemesis at one point is when he's trying to he discovers oil in this place and he's buying this enormous track of land so he'd get it all he's he asked the guys like how much of this is like can i get this yeah that's for sale what about this yeah you can get that too can i get it all yeah and so he buys it he buys an enormous swath of land and he's just oil rigs everywhere and part of the deal when he's buying the sunday ranch

is that the father is a bit slow but the son is very wily and the son's like no we want like ten thousand dollars for this lease on our oil land he's like that's a large sum of money what would you do with it he's like i want to open my church church that's good good okay okay and so he like and they have this thing where they hate each other and he's like not wanting to give him that ten thousand dollars and and they go back and forth throughout the whole movie with this like religious zealot who has this all the locals like under his grasp and daniel plainview who's like he's like you know trying to bring schooling and education and bread but more all make his fortune it's i fucking love that movie. It's top five movies

of me of all time. I strongly recommend it. I need to watch it again. I remember just fucking hating it. I don't remember a lot of the details of it. I mean, it's funny. Kyle's over here doing his best Daniel Plainview voice, and then you just have the call to say, I hated it. We don't care for it, and neither does

HW. It's killer, killer man i love that shit yeah that's a that's a great movie i i'm i'm so in need of a new tv show to watch like i i just every once in a while i go through uh like a rewatch phase of a few core shows like i rewatched a lot of sunny recently and i rewatched quite a bit of futurama recently which the more i watch futurama, the more I realize I've always liked it way more than The Simpsons. I like it more. It's a better show. I like it. I thought it was a better show than The Simpsons.

Oh, you thought it was better than The Simpsons? Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I like Fry more. I like Leela. I like Bender. I like all the characters. The Professor is one of the funniest fucking cartoon characters of any

show. Like, he is funnier than the rest of the people in that show by a lot. Like, every time the Professor says something, it's pretty funny. What happened to your old crew? Don't worry about it. Like, in the first episode, we're tiring them. Oh, there is a... Chiz, will you link the saddest

fucking episode of Futurama ever? The one about the thing where they were going to bring the dog back? That'll make you fucking cry. That'll make you fucking cry some grown man ass tears. That shit is some pitiful fucking shit. I'm not going to watch it. I'm going to let you guys watch it. No, you got to watch it because you brought it up.

But when I rewatched that show, I literally skipped the Jurassic Bark episode because it's like this is not going to give me any laughs. And I'm watching the show to be uplifted. So I just skip it. Have you guys seen the YouTube new layout stuff? It's awesome. I really like it. I'd be interested in hearing what you guys think, too. I haven't played around with it much.

What do you like about it? Right now it's just an inconvenience to doing the things I normally do. I haven't even explored what the benefits are yet. So I'm in a position now where I'm depressingly consuming tons of content. And it used to be that the front page was kind of just auto-generated for you and you get what you get, suck a dick. Now like Reddit, it has like a never-ending Reddit kind of thing. If you use the Reddit enhancement suite, this probably doesn't resonate with a lot of people, but you go to the bottom and it just gives you like six more videos.

And instead of just showing like what YouTube thinks is maybe your top 25 choices for right now, it keeps going, shows you the next 25, the next 25. People I subscribed to a while ago, but maybe haven't been keeping current with their stuff. It gets recommended. All sorts of like, there's an, it's like, YouTube used

to be 30 ideas and then I'm out. Now it's like Reddit where there's a thousand videos. You can just keep scrolling and it shows you more and more as you go to the bottom. And I think it's great. And it reacts to you. I'll get into a trend of watching MMA videos

and it's offering me up all these MMA and then it'll be Game of Thrones. The day after Game of Thrones, I like to tons of those uh uh my wife does that too I refuse to touch them analysis videos analysis videos I really enjoy fan theories um I like all that stuff so like it'll learn from me and start offering offering me exactly what I want I really enjoy that it's been doing that but it was limited by the fact that it can only have like 25 choices right you know yeah so if you're an mma and game of thrones and tractor tug of wars hypothetically then you know like there's only so many suggestions it can give you but now it's a limitless stream and it's it's great i i got into watching um there's this couple building their dream house off the grid. And it's fascinating to watch them go through.

So there's the building the house, which is one level of watching it, where you see the thing progress and they pour their walls and stuff like that. Then there's another level where you watch the masculine and feminine relationship play out. And how they assign the tasks. Because the guy is clearly better suited for construction work he seems to have more experience he knows terms that i don't know and such um but like okay one guy needs to work the backhoe another guy needs to work a shovel she ends up doing like the manual labor on the shovel because she's not very good at the backhoe

but it's also like the harder job but he's taking the finesse job and it's uh i i like watching their dynamic play out and how they go through and how they resolve conflicts and uh it's oh and they have so many haters they are the sweetest you know family they they're married they want to have kids they're building this house they're living their dream they're just too they're not super young i'm gonna guess they're like 35 um but they're you know they've they've seized life and and you look through their comments and it's all like oh my god fuck this guy and look at how he abuses her because she worked the shovel they all like and and like people will be like well why did she do this and then someone will offer this long explanation of why they think they divided it. But it's all this, like, thinly veiled hate towards them.

You know, like, you know what? Like, that guy has low dexterity and intelligence. So naturally they assign the duties up like this. And, like, I don't – they have – I've watched like 50 videos. I know you guys have. I'm kind of curious now because I know you guys have had a love-hate relationship a little bit with the Reddit community. Have you had a similar relationship with the YouTube comments? Because I feel like, as a whole, YouTube comments are almost entirely toxic. Like, I get nice comments on YouTube sometimes and I get good questions and good responses.

But as a whole, if I just would like to read that and like to judge from that how i should feel about myself i would fucking go insane yeah i'm kind of curious no problem with it i love the reddit folks and i love the youtube comment folks you're not hearing me i don't not love my youtube fans but the comments on my youtube section seem disproportionately negative relative to what the feedback as a whole I get about my stuff is. So I'm kind of curious. What do you guys think of YouTube? On PKA, sometimes I just scan the comments and they're usually not deep-seated. It's a reaction to a particular spot in the PKA video and it is what it is.

On my other videos, the ones that aren't painkiller already, the haters seem to have left. Like when I go to my paramotor videos, it's a lot of people interested in paramotors, a lot of people interested in like something that happened that my most recent paramotor videos, in my opinion, have been more interesting than most because I did this like acrobatics and disaster recovery course. And they all want to know like why I have radios taped to each ear why there's two of them they they just have questions how scared were you when were you free falling when that happened and that's the nature of the comments i've been getting lately they're they're pretty good

actually but oh that's at my peak at my peak you know they were as rough as they come so yeah it seems like i don't know again maybe it's just internet stuff but it feels like no one would ever speak to me that way in person and they often speak to me in like a kind of like third person like i'm not their kind of way they speak about me in the comment sections on my channel that's reflective of how they view you they they view you as as as higher than them and they feel like you're something to be discussed. You're not a person anymore. You're a thing.

Right, exactly. You're a figure. Yes. It's just a strange interaction. That's how I felt about that guy in the Hangout, you know, when he was, like, cracking meme jokes about me and calling me old and saying I was going to heal slowly and stuff. That's what I said at the beginning of this episode. He's not treating you like a person anymore. He's treating you like this other thing to be discussed yeah exactly that's funny i didn't think about referring that

back to me but that's exactly what i was thinking yeah yeah okay yeah i i usually forgive those people immediately because um the thing about dishing out a little bit of hate like that is uh if you're you know for human beings it's you feel better about yourself if you if you can if you can throw a rock at someone else it's like ah at least that's not a problem I have. I don't fucking look silly. I'm not old or whatever. They're cracking on you about what silliness. And it's like, ah, that person was probably hurting a little.

This doesn't hurt my feelings. Probably a little more after I finished. You know, maybe it'll... No, but I usually think, like, that person's probably coming from a bad place. Now, wait till I get a hold of him. I can't do shit right now. He'd kick my ass, probably.

Because I'd hop over him. If it's mean, but it's also pretty funny, I don't mind. Because it's almost like, oh, you kind of got me there. Damn it. Like, a little bit, you know? Yeah. Like, every once in a while, I'll read a comment, and it'll just be like, man, this Taylor guy sucks dick. I wish he'd never come back.

And it's like, okay, like that's not specific enough for me to care too much. And those are few and far between regardless. But every once in a while it'll be like, did you hear that fucking, you know, accent Taylor did at two hours and six minutes? Sounds like an idiot. Wasn't funny at all. And I'll like listen to it again and be like ah damn it like you're right sometimes they'll sometimes they take the words right out of our mouths too like like there'll be like something that maybe maybe a particular guest we're all at the end of the show after the guest departs and the three of us remain and we're

not you filthy just just to be 100 clear we love you and i mean that uh but but some pretend i believe 100 absolutely my wife you're one of my favorite guests because because of your background and and you're a smart guy and you can talk about just about anything it's really it's really fun but there are some guys who leave the show and like the three of us would be like what an arrogant cunt that guy was can you believe he even had the balls to like interrupt woody before woody was it was a programming question like like like you know like like why would he interrupt woody when he's about to answer a programming question or like what it was a question about missouri like that guy just broke right in front of taylor you know a lot of missouri questions yeah for example it's that sort of thing and like after the show and then you look in the comments and someone's like can you believe that? Can't so-and-so had the gall to interrupt woody on a programming question like what a cunt and and we're all like mm-hmm

And then somebody somebody let reply that comment be like no way I love that guest and the guys love that guess it's clear by their body language, and it's like mm-hmm We are polite adults and uh that's and and that's what you get when you invite a guest on you have to be i mean you've invited them on you're not you're not going to recruit more guests by shitting on the guests in person at that time it's just part of the program that you're going to try to be risk but yeah you win some you lose some you know you know and uh and everybody gets annoyed with people occasionally like idiosyncrasies and and and sometimes people come on and you know often know often we'll give them a pep talk we all will before the show is like hey the best guests are the ones who interrupt etc etc and sometimes they take that a little bit too much

to heart and they can hunt you know it's like whoa we didn't literally mean like cut us cut us in half every time we're on a roll here like there was a punch line at the end of that that you just sidelined bro like like chill out so it's a double-edged sword it's it's what it's what you're going to deal with but i i like it anyway it's always a good time i definitely prefer the over aggressive jumping in guest to the uh like never ever jumping in yeah part of that's the format though right i mean it's hard i mean skype is skype is decent it's a pretty decent video sharing talking kind of thing but it's hard. I mean, Skype is decent. It's a pretty decent video sharing, talking kind of thing. But it's not the same as being in person.

And even in person, you'll run into some of these issues, like talking over people, multiple people with things to say, multiple people with stories to share about something. It's a dance to kind of collaborate that. And it's going to be tricky. And if you run into into people sometimes really amazing people or hilarious people or fucking whatever who aren't very good at that dance and then you combine it with like a technological element to it and suddenly shit gets really hard to coordinate watch any cnn panel a cnn panel full of of like politicians and or diplomats and or lawyers and and experts in their field who you just know have taken plenty of

public speaking courses and classes and excelled at them because they're all brilliant in their own field but they get in there and that and that hollywood squares format and it's blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and it's like anderson cooper's like whoa just stop you gotta let the man answer you know and so it happens to even the best of the best yeah and you said adding the tech the technological barriers to it the slight delays which you can't always predict sometimes the delay will expand and contract you know there are times when and you won't even notice it for say so it can really seem like someone's being a cunt when they're just trying to answer a question I

remember there's a I got invited to do um an interview i didn't even know there's a game coming out i got invited to interview uh the the developers of this game and we were having audio issues and the end result was it looked like i was just ignoring this developers like say like talking over him just like going on about stuff when he's like cutting him off and it was literally because I couldn't hear him at certain times. It always strikes me when I'm... And it's really hard to say from the post-production side when you're just watching it. Because all you have

is the recording of it. And then you've already had those interactions occur without knowledge of when someone said something. It's very interesting to me to see that shit. I definitely hear that 100%. It can be... Go on. I thought the CNNnn panel exam like comparison was perfect because those guys are just always like talking over each other and

yeah we do a better job than they do i think but longer show though there's more chances and it's not competitive they're often you know trying to outdo one another whereas we're just trying to you know work on the same team but yeah it's it's a shit show over on cnn right now they got to sort that out i noticed that don lemon uh like after the charlottesville thing got a few shades darker like like he got a tan or something like like like like yeah and i mentioned it chis like like am i am i crazy or is don lemon's skin tone like two or three shades darker? And is he or is he not growing his hair out? And Chiz is like, I can't even fucking look at it with a straight face now.

Yeah, you're absolutely right. Like, I watch Don Lemon every night. And he came in two or three skin tones darker. Like, he got in a tanning bed for a few hours. And it grew his hair out. The darker thing could just be summer. During my weight loss thing, a lot of people are like, Woody, you look so much

better and your skin looks younger. I'm like, skin? I'm not doing anything. It's just in the summer. I'm working that out every day. I'm darker. I'm spending some time outdoors. I should, but I don't. I'm just spending some time outdoors and they liked my summer color more than my winter one which in the camera right now totally winter

but uh maybe don lemon is that just his august color maybe i don't think so his august color i'm about to pass another summer staying in winter color because i got a nice i got a nice farmer's tan golfing a few months ago. Taylor, you got to go back to the thigh hair, right? Yes, back to the thigh hair. This is your winter coat. Back to my – yeah. And then I – like every other time since then, I've over-applied sunscreen to the point that I've gotten no color because I very much don't like being sunburned because I get burned quickly.

I wear it daily. I bet I'm about as pale as you, Filthy. Yeah. I don't think you have any tan. I rock the farmer's tan because I do bike riding. That's what I do for some of my exercise. So I get tanned on kind of like back of the neck, like arms. I bike in a t-shirt.

I get some tan there there but the rest of me i fucking burn if i like i can't do more than about you know an hour and a half two hours out in the sun at any given time or i'll burn if i go anywhere anywhere where there's decent decent sunlight same deal so i i feel you on that it's fucking hard to get any sort of coloration in my skin whatsoever i've had at least a year and a half of this whole area of my face covered. And so when I do shave this, like, I wonder if I'm just going to be, like, super, super pale. Like, full shave? When I do full shave, yeah.

Because, I mean, I'm not planning on it, but I'll have to eventually for something. Probably. I've been with my wife six years. I full shaved once for her. I full shaved, like, three times. Yeah, I've been with her like three times yeah three times like i like you with the beard you've you've shaved for real three times in the last six years yeah for the razor it oh but you i use the trimmer and i and i put yeah and i and and that's it but i but as far as a razor maybe three times in the last six years. Every time was like, have to do it.

I always use a razor in this area. You've gone to nearly clean shaven more than that. Maybe I'm just wrong. It's always with a trimmer. I've used a razor like three times. You can get pretty short with the trimmer too. Yeah, it's quite short. 0.4 millimeters on mine.

There you go. That's the short 0.4 millimeters on mine there you go that's the lowest setting i remember when i was like uh like 21 or 20 or something i was like oh that's kind of cool those like because my my grandpa had one of those like edward scissorhands razors or whatever the straight razors and i was like that's cool i want to learn how to shave with one of those. So I got a cheap set of those, and I did it literally twice ever. The first time was just like, all right, all right, be careful. Went for about a week. Yeah, I didn't cut myself or nick myself, not once.

It took me fucking 30 minutes. I was going so slow and carefully. It was a way closer shave than I was used to. But then I did it one more time after that and then the time after that I was like this is a pain in the ass there is a reason that people went hey do you want to shave with a knife no we got these other

things they're way better and people moved over to that razors are way way better not the straight edge that you did but there's like a step in between where you buy like a pretty expensive one. Mine might have been like $50. It's called the safety razor.

Yeah. Oh, is that what I'm... I thought the safety razor was like the dull... My wife uses it to shave her legs. Safety razor. You've got a blade. You put it into the thing and it's... You screw it in.

Yeah, it's like the 1920s style. Like one step. I believe they call that a safety razor there's a subreddit about all of this stuff yeah they were the ones so i went to wicked edge and i like found the right one to buy and i tried it and it was terrible like i didn't cut myself like there wasn't like a particular cut there were like 15 small cuts so i do the toilet paper thing i've got japanese flags like all over my face and but i didn't give up no no no i was like all right i just have regular man i let it grow like three days or so try Try it again. I just need to condition myself.

Maybe it's some talent or skin callus that I need to build up. And I tried it for a while. I don't know. I don't know. It's fair. I like this. Feel how rough my face is. Women love shoes and rough faces.

Like, watch me. What if Jackie doesn't like a beard? Something worked. So I didn't quit after one horrific shave. I tried repeated horrific shaves, and it wasn't getting better. If anything, it was getting worse. I wouldn't fully heal in between shaves. I was just like, this isn't working out, man.

The blood's working its way down. You're trimming the scab off yeah like like yeah like oh that that one's deep enough that it's gonna last the next shave and i'll shave it again and uh it was a total fail and then i tried i know they're a sponsor tonight but like the dollar shave club style shavers i'm like oh right that's why everyone uses them like technology has advanced. They've improved. And the people on the Wicked Edge, I don't know how they do it,

but it's not for me. That's the thing about these thankful razors. Sorry, go ahead. Finish that. Timmy said again I didn't mean to kick off, and I think I did. So say that again. Oh, I was saying with these razors like like I remember using the straight one and like I was maybe 20 or 21 so at the time I'd known how to shave for seven years you know uh

a while like and so I was doing it being like oh like this this just isn't going fast it's taking so long this sucks and like after a while I was like you know how to shave you know how to do this you know the amount of time this should take and you are giving yourself a chore. Like it's like instead, Oh, I don't go to the laundromat. I have that old tubular thing that you go down by the river. No, then I put it in a sudsy bucket and heft it home. You know, like, no, of course not. I don't churn my own butter either. Like it just real, it just revealed itself to me. It's fucking ridiculous. I don't churn my own butter either. Like, it just revealed itself to me. It's like, oh, this is a stupid thing you've decided to do. Like, if you enjoy it, more power to you.

I mean, I guess it's a hobby of sorts. More just hygiene. I've seen videos of barbers shaving people, right? And they'll take a beard like Taylor's. I haven't touched Taylor's beard, but I imagine it to be resistant. You know, it is not a thin like you know asian beard this is this is very thick yeah but even like coarse hairs like you know and like those are whiskers not hairs that's that's what i'm searching for and uh but i see barbers just like and it goes from

what taylor has to what i'm rocking today in you know know, three square inches at a time. And I'm like, so there must be some talent out there. And I think there is because you talk about shaving against the grain or with the grain. And, like, I know that depending on the quality of the stuff I use and the way I do it, like, I will either come out of this, like, face reacting to this shit, like, you know, like breaking out from shaving or not too bad, but maybe I need an expert.

If you've ever seen someone get one of those old-timey shaves in the movies or whatever, first they have that steaming, scorching hot towel that they wrap around your face. And that moistens and softens all the hair up. It's softening all the hair up. So it boards up too, right?

Sure. And it's softening all that hair up. And then they add that hot fucking cream that they get out of a machine over there and add it on there. And then they get to work. A couple stripes on a belt to hone the edge, and they're going to town. It wasn't the straight edge. It was the safety razor. But I did that, right? So I take the thing.

I put it in the hull. I put it on my face and I'm like ah I know it's both is it supposed to hurt this much like it's whatever the third like we my wife likes hot showers so we have the water heater on like unusually high so it's like 160 degrees and i'm like oh like i'm not sure if this is softening my thing or like this is a first degree burn and then then i shave like right after that and it didn't work for me i i'll admit i might have had no talent at it i don't know but that's one of the things i do in the shower i'll turn something has changed for me like it's always been I don't mind a beard, my wife doesn't mind a beard, it's a lot of fucking work to be clean-shaven, and it seems like

unnecessary work most of the time. So I'm kind of curious, besides Jackie hating a beard, have you figured out a better solution? Dollar Shave Club. Uh, dollar shave club. All right, is the only solution. Kyle, were you, did you have something for shaving? Oh, in the shower, I turned the fucking thing on as hot as I can take it and just blast my genitals with it

for as long as I can take it until they're red and swollen and angry, and then I begin my shaving process. I find that the blade really stripes through. It gets a lot more done that way. A lot fewer nicks and bad... No, do not use an electric razor down there. Oh a lot more done that way. A lot fewer nicks and bad... No, do not use an electric razor down there. Oh, I've done that. I've put my

trimmer down there and gotten... When your balls are contracted or whatever, they're a little wrinkly on the exterior. You get one of the wrinkles in a fucking electric trimmer, it goes and you're like... That shuts the whole show down. I have never used an electric razor on my genital region.

I've always just been regular razors down there. Big mistake. Big mistake. Here, let me lay it out like this. If your hair is too long, right? If I were to put an electric razor in Taylor's face right now, it would pull as much as it would cut. Oh, yeah.

It wouldn't do shit. Just... Oh, it would be... Mine has like would cut. Oh, yeah. It wouldn't do shit. Just... Oh, it would be... Mine has like a beard trimmer almost in the middle of it, like the one that I sometimes use. But so back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. We eventually get a very painful clean shave. Take that and translate it to your junk and you've got a real issue.

Jesus Christ. It wasn't the pulling. It was ball flesh getting stuck in the blades like like it was the blades cutting my balls maybe i'll just use beard trimmer like because i mean that's kind of like like i have a con air uh digital beard trimmer i've had it you know you charge it yeah yeah and and i swear it's amazing it's wonderful i don't have a thick beard at all but like you know i as i'm shaving i like i'm continually tapping it upside down the sink to like get the hair back out and then if it

ever gets clogged like taking it apart is like you just pull and it sort of snaps apart and the whole blade system comes out something very similar that's what i used to love that shit but being digital i always know exactly where to go because like like i do like under the neck at like 0.4 or something i do everything else at like a 2 or a 2.5 or something like that this is millimeters you know i i really like that i can't do like if i need a clean shave i can't use an electric razor like when i was like 19 or something like working at a hockey camp like i had to be clean shaven and if i used like that kind of what you're talking about because

it doesn't get all of the hair gone it doesn't like it leaves a like it's noticeable and like if i use one of those by the end of the day my boss would be like oh so you didn't shave this morning and it'd be like no it just grew back like it's just like i i get very bad five o'clock shadow so i always go for the very close regular razor shave when I need to be clean all day. My thing only goes to... I was going to say, Jackie doesn't like beards, but I think she particularly doesn't like my beard. It's because it's gray.

I've been pretty lucky with gray. I don't dye or anything. I have gray hair. Dude, your hair doesn't look gray at all. Woody, I think this year I'm starting to do, this year, last year, something like that, starting to do a little bit of gray coming in. My wife loves it. She loves commenting on it.

Yeah, I like Woody's beard. Woody's, I love Woody's beard. Woody's beard gets this salt and pepper thing. It makes him look distinguished and powerful. It makes your, it's, you've got. No, you have a very good beard. It's a fucking shame. With a beard.

You look like, like, fucking... This is all irrelevant. You guys have already told me today on this show that the reason you're doing all this fucking personal maintenance is for how your sex appeal is to the other gender. And Woody's already said that his wife doesn't like a beard. She was very clear. So none of this means a fucking thing. But he's also said that he personally dislikes his own beard.

And just so you know, I find it to be a fantastic beard. I like what Taylor's got going on, but yours makes you look very distinguished, personally dislikes his own beard and just so you know i find it to be a fantastic beard like i like what taylor's got going on but yours makes you look very distinguished very pop more powerful i would say like i assume that someone who's rocking that beard is like in charge of a team of individuals and he's like the fucking you're the you know they're they're like i john snow's the only king oh ben martin the white wolf you me too. The White Wolf. You're the fucking Silver Wolf. You know, like, I dig your beard big time. Like it.

I don't see. Also, mine, I feel like it grows straight out too much. You know, like it doesn't lay very well. I like that. That's a length thing. Like, when you first are growing your beard out, it's like when you have a buzz cut. Or if you shave your head entirely.

Like, that first bit of hair, it's going to just be prickly and stand up and you can run your hand over it like that that's what your facial hair is going to be like until it gets to a length where it starts laying down like i my facial i trim mine at half an inch so my beard is half an inch long and so if i i don't even know what i trim it you guys have a millimeter as an inch? I just have a number on my fucking... I think a number... Four? Is a half inch, maybe? Yeah, I have like a half inch beer.

Could be a totally different calibrated system. I have no idea. No, we're both using Imperial. Yeah, I don't use any of that metric shit. Like Kyle and his millimeters over there. Vox came out with a video in favor of Celsius over Fahrenheit. And it infuriated me. It was so if people don't know,

Vox is a YouTube channel and probably another internet property in the top of that. But they were real liberal slant on stuff. Now this thing wasn't political, but they're like, it opens up. asks alexia or whatever the amazon thing is what the temperature is and it's like oh it's 78 outside and she's like i don't know what to do with that because she's not originally american or american whatever

so then she starts laying out all the reasons why america should convert to the metric system. And I agree. But all her reasons for hating Fahrenheit are like, look, when you convert inches to feet, the math is very complicated. When you convert grams to this. Which is a pretty damn good reason. No. They are good reasons to use meters. And there are good reasons to use grams.

And there are good reasons to use kilometers and all of that. this is not true i have never converted kilometers to celsius right like that's not a very kilometers to celsius right i don't understand that exactly that's my point so so when you're measuring weather which is what i use temperature for typically yeah okay okay the fahrenheit scale regular users have heard this before flows perfectly for human weather, 0 is really cold 100 is really hot it fits, right? if you use Celsius, it's on a scale of negative 8 to 34

maybe all their arguments that they love around the metric system and I'm on the same team for kilometers so you're pro-metric but not pro-elsius exactly and the two i understand that makes sense to me yeah and yeah in a perfect world you know we use systems that that fit the things that we're measuring and unless you're i don't know a scientist measuring things other than weather then fahrenheit is your answer i agree you're totally right about the number thing because I really, like it is just because

we're so used to our measuring system, but when someone, like it makes sense when someone's like, man, it's 95 degrees out today. It's like, yeah, you're right. It's humid. It's hot. Like 95, that's a high number. Like if someone from England is like, oh, it's an incredibly dreadful

36 degrees today or whatever. It's like it doesn't sound the same, you know in 36 That's probably bananas hot right? Yeah, no fucking clue. I have no fucking super 30 degrees I'm actually getting lost is that comfy? I know 34 is really hot 34 body temp 98.6 that's I don't know. I don't fucking use that shit much because it's stupid.

I know that 100 is boiling and 0 is freezing. Dude, but how often do you need to know that? 37 is 98.6 so I was on target there. 95 degrees Fahrenheit, 35 Celsius. But 35 doesn't sound hot there's people who are like

disagreeing with us right now saying oh no no you're just not used to it 34 37 that'll make a lot of sense to you if you use it all the time and i want to be like it's true it will make a lot of sense but it doesn't necessarily make it a better system exactly because i can tell you that 12 inches 12 inches to a foot will start making a lot of sense to you after a while. And it will, but it never gets good. Like I'm pretty good at the fractions having to do with construction because I've done a bunch of it.

And- But it's never as simple as metric when it comes to conversions for distance. Even a guy like me, who's fairly experienced at it, doesn't find it as easy as decimals, right? Decimals are way better they just are so metric system for measuring length and weight and a lot of other stuff i get it i'm on your team but for weather it's all about fahrenheit baby and then they'd say oh no no you don't

understand woody no you're not getting it see water freezes at zero and boils at a hundred right i'm not fucking measuring water and neither are Like, it's not a thing that, like, the point at which some arbitrary thing, water, as opposed to, like, I don't know, molten rock or mercury or something else, converts from a solid to a liquid to a gas, is not that important to me in my measuring system. What is important is weather and, like, how I feel about being outside in it. And for that, Fahrenheit wins. and how I feel about being outside in it. And for that, Fahrenheit wins. If I had no idea what temperature water boiled at for the rest of my life, I'd be fine. Because the way I boil water is I put water in a pot,

and I put it on the hot stove, and then I wait. And then eventually I go, ah, the telltale sign of boiling, the boil. And then I know that the water is boiling. It's like like these incentives are giving me but how will you know when water is frozen temperature how will you know what when the water freezes when i walk outside and it is solid is the way i will know like or when i go to the fridge and i grab the ice that's made for me by my machine i don't need to know what temperature it is like the the zero and the hundred argument is very silly to me it's like i'd rather us have

to be able to live between like zero and 110 or whatever for Fahrenheit than have all of our shit relegated from like 10 to 35. Negative 8 to 35. I don't care for that. Let's switch to Kelvin and upset everyone. It's been so long since I used Kelvin. Kelvin was chemistry and physics right i can't remember the last time i used fucking kelvin as an actual scale it's just no nobody really uses it i know which is even more stupid because here you are all right you got it you

got a temperature system of celsius and all right you got kelvin which is celsius shifted really do we need two with that like can't we just agree that we use one of those and that would be fine? Because it seems really unnecessary to shift that. And if you're going to argue okay, well, there's a reason for doing that. It's based on XYZ and I'm sure there is a reason for that. Doesn't that kind of negate the reason for the other one? Isn't there

a better reason to use one of them? I don't know. Now Kelvin makes it much more intense. If it's 50 degrees out in Fahrenheit, in Kelvin you get to say it's 283 degrees out. Yeah, but Celsius and Kelvin I think is literally just a straight addition, right? Isn't it just like – isn't it like – yeah, it's just a set number of points in between. So the thing about Kelvin and Celsius and Fahrenheit is the amount of temperature change a degree encompasses is different between the two scales. But Kelvin and Celsius, the amount of temperature change a degree change is, is the same. It's just offset, which is fucking retarded.

retard. Yeah, it looks like the temperature T in degrees Fahrenheit is equal to the temperature T in Kelvin times 9 fifths minus 459.67. So it's really easy to remember. The modifier for the Fahrenheit to Celsius is the same. It's still a 9 fifths modifier, but

the, what do they call it? Fuck, I can't remember the term for this. The 9 fifths compromise. No, no, the 9 fifths is the same, but it's the addition or subtraction element that changes, which I can't really name for right now. And they gave black people almost two votes. It was a mistake. Nobody in Congress understood fractions at that time.

It almost made it out, and Ben Franklin had to be like, Jesus, do people know what you're doing? It was worse than the Hubble telescope. It was a big fuck-up. Oh, man, that's funny. Tough to argue with that oh no temperature talk that's gonna be the new hit oh yeah we put that in the seo we'll nail it stupid i loved it all those chemistry students just right out of lab work or they're just gonna

be zoning right in on this for all all those Kelvin versus Celsius knee slappers we just laid out there. Got them rolling over there in chemistry class. It was funny to some degree, I have to admit. I enjoyed it a lot. Oh my gosh.

I was slow to get it, but I got it in the end. I don't get it at all. To some degree. Really? Thank you for making me feel better about me. I was slow to get it, but I got it at the end. I don't get it at all. To some degree. Oh, really? Thank you for making me feel better about me. Oh, fuck all of you. I'm the worst at knowing that.

I'll just pretend it was really funny. That one's going on the Tinder. Yeah. Here's some quotes by me about me. If you don't like crab legs and the temperature in Kelvin, swipe left. With your lobster claw. God, I want to meet one of these lobster claw ladies now and see what it's like. I'll let you know if I meet one on the web.

Yeah, but all their mittens are custom made. Is it both hands? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think both hands? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think I talked about it. We had a girl in my high school who had one deformed hand. It was very small.

Yeah, yeah. We've talked about deformities before. It's off-putting. It's off-putting. I didn't notice hers. She hid it so much. And then after someone mentioned it to me, I realized. I did not see it.

hit it so much and then after i found after someone mentioned it to me i realized like yeah but it was almost like the um the posture and the hiding was a bigger deal than a small hand like you'd never see her without her arm the hand like tucked under her armpit or something no it's not strong enough you gotta take my strong hand no i just really give me your other hand you don't know this reference oh it's a scary movie scary scary movie uh one of the characters has a little hand and i mean like a baby hand and there's there's a character hanging out a window like like about to fall and he comes to say to me he's like here take my hand and they're like no no you're giving your other hand and he's like rubbing it on their face and stuff all gross yeah let's watch it please let's watch it this is gonna take me back to like 2002 or

something when this came out hey I'm at zero still working I'm at zero Fucking long. Right? All right. Ready, set, play. Help! Help! Thanks, Jizz. Yeah. Oh, take my hand. Ah! Come on!

You're going to die. Take my hand. No. Give me your other hand. Oh, my other hand isn't strong enough. You take my little hand. No! Get it away from me! Take it! Take my hand! Oh, he died. oh he's dying over it

uh it's good earlier in the movie he's like the butler or whatever at this haunted mansion like hosting them and he's like preparing dinner and getting that hand and everything like it he's like it's all up in the turkey and then they're like is there anything that you didn't make by hand he's like well i ordered the pie from outside they're like oh oh yeah get the pie out and he's like oh i see you i am the first slice and she's like yeah yeah i am and he goes to like cut and this hand all in it all and they're everybody the table goes. Oh, I just get the walks away Those movies went downhill like like slowly and incrementally, but the first one kills it first was great scary movie. Yeah, oh

Yeah, he's like Fucking the turkey and stuff gross fucker Yeah, I'm watching those movies in fucking forever filthy how's youtube treating you you said that you're getting demonetized now and then is it a big deal and it's this year has been just a struggle with youtube it's uh started off with the kind of uh youtube going through that crisis and everything and fucking yeah lower lower rates on everything and now it's like random shit getting flagged for monetization issues non-stop and i mean youtube's a percentage of my income the percentage of my income hasn't been that great this year and it's kind of been a little bit frustrating i like

youtube as a as a pay model because i prefer it to a twitch pay model youtube feels less based on kind of random viewers day to day how they feel about you and more based on do they like your content if they like your content they're watching it if they're watching it they're you know youtube's paying you but shit it's been bad bad cpm for me this year so frustrating it's frustrating that sucks the fourth quarter's coming so that's typically the strongest quarter and And then January comes around and it's a shock every year. Like, what the hell? Yeah, yeah.

January, the first quarter is always a little bit painful. But yeah, so we have a good fourth quarter. I'm totally down for that. It's kind of strange to me. So you guys, I don't know this at all. So I don't know if you're comfortable talking about it or not. Do you guys not monetize for part of your revenue your revenue for pk is based on sponsorship not revenue not monetization revenue yeah i don't talk too much but it mostly comes

the overwhelming majority of it comes from the breeds in the in the video itself yeah and we've got a wonderful patreon dude i want more people in those fucking hangouts i love the hangouts right popular this week i started patreon this year too i really like it i really like that as a model it's a great fucking model it allows your fans to directly give you guys money without going through any other well i mean there is an intermediary when patreon is intermediary there but it's a pretty decent percentage compared to a lot of the other intermediaries out there. So I like that too.

I want to do the next Hangout as soon as possible. We'll coordinate amongst us or whatever. I'm just going to type something to you. I think so. Taylor? It depends on the time. I'll have to check. Or maybe the day after that one?

The day after that will probably work. Okay. So be on the lookout for'll have to check or maybe the one at the day after that one the day after that will probably work one of those okay so be on the lookout for your next patreon email uh it's probably we're probably gonna do a hangout relatively soon so uh i really enjoy those this will be like a back-to-back-to-back one because we did two last weekend and uh and maybe sometime this weekend as long as we get our ducks the order. And are you guys rooting for people to be more or less like the gentleman that Woody had issue with? I think everyone thinks more about me. No, no, no. Everybody needs to take a deep breath.

You kind of kicked me when I was down. Yeah, don't do that. That's not cool. But yeah, generally speaking, we have an awesome time in those. I especially do. I like hearing from those yeah, well, generally speaking, we have an awesome time in those. I, I especially do.

I like hearing from those people, especially the ones who are like so fascinating. The polygamy thing. I like, I want to get more. We're delving deeper, sir. Yes. Yeah.

That's interesting. I want to talk more about that. And ma'am, she was very attractive. She was like six foot something, right? She was like six, two,

six, two. And he was the polygamous girl. Yes. Sort of monogamous. No, you mentioned that that before it's new to me all right so like a cheater you know monogamy yes yeah okay monogamish is primarily monogamy with not always being monogamy so if you like the core tenet of monogamy yeah it's the same thing i'm not wired for it well that's i mean it certainly is not something i would just randomly recommend for everyone and

it's a element of negotiation with your relationship is this something that you want or don't want but if for example you guys are fairly secure in your relationship and you're not too worried about a little bit of strange from time to time there is an element there's there's a subset of people who do this it's not necessarily swinging it's not necessarily something like that but it is a the ability to have extra dyadic pairing that isn't violation of the relationship it's called monogamish so if you're very interested in kind of hearing about uh polygamy you might want to hear about it's kind of like polygamy light think of it that way. We'll look into that.

Because marrying a bunch of chicks doesn't seem fun at all. That seems like a downer. That's what Woody was throwing out there. Seems exhausting. Exhausting. But, you know. Have you heard of the expression of a unicorn? No, same light. Okay, we'll just throw this out there as well. It's another terminology for that. So maybe

you and your partner, you know, you're like like that girl is super fucking hot and we'd like to bang her all right there's your unicorn go chase your fucking unicorn that's monogamous that's the the third element of that it's uh oh so this is just adding another girl into the mix no because she gets it too then well now i have no it's all that's negotiable your relationship you do what you want either i mean if i've never i mean i've been on this show a number of times now we've had a lot of conversation about sexuality in here if i can never say anything else past this i mean the relationship you build is a relationship you build it doesn't have to be anything past that what you want in it versus what you don't want

in it and you have every ability to define that repeatedly both as you're entering into it and across the course of that relationship fight for what you fucking want like that seems totally so many thoughts about that so the unicorn thing i feel like is swinging that the one of the partner's hopes will never happen right like oh yeah jennifer anderson's your unicorn knock yourself out woody that's a hall pass i think it's two names of the same thing you know like if they if someone's saying that's your unicorn and you can only have that one then really this is just monogamish seems like swinging too just perhaps less of it unicorn not that same definition for me is what you're saying not as your hall passes and this girl is just a guarantee whatever unicorn just did the general expression as that third person outside the relationship that is wanted by both of them so anyway sorry don't know what you're saying all

right but like the way you laid it out there in the beginning kind of didn't fit with my own mindset because you were like hey if you're really secure in your relationship then you can add another one or whatever sorry sorry yeah I guess the other amount is if you both want it. To me, though, like... The secure part is... I think you can be secure in your relationship. Like, I have a lot of trust in Jackie, and she has a lot of trust in me. I go on these two-week-long vacations in California. There's no babysitting

there. Right, and it doesn't necessarily lead to a third person in that relationship at all. But we're territorial, you know, and I don't think that makes you insecure in your relationship. It's just like... No, I don't think that makes you insecure in your relationship it's just like no i don't think so either i don't want to apply that whatsoever my kind of the point i was making is if that is a route you want to take in your relationship the first step better fucking be for sure that you're secure in your relationship okay yeah yeah and i'm like you if you're secure that it will go that way consenting agreeing adults can do pretty

much anything in my head you know provided i don't think one is like there's a power imbalance is manipulating one of them or there's any physical harm like like there's very few boundaries like if you want to do 10 person orgies every weekend and you're both that guy and that girl good for you apparently that's what you want but uh yeah there's a guy in germany a few years ago who allowed legally another guy to kill and eat him because he had had like a fetish thing that he wanted to be killed and eaten and so he let a guy whose fetish was killing and eating people kill him and eat him and it was a really it was a really like is this is this like do we punish him for it do we not punish him for it oh the guys said i want to be killed and eaten

well i i think you do because you can't what's really okay i really want to hear this why you're gonna get a well i was gonna go like a joking route i don't really give a fuck i was gonna say you get mad cow disease and hurt other people, right? It's gonna say like a line. You don't eat the brain tissue. Once they get a taste for human blood, then you just want more and more people. You have to put them down after the third one for sure. What if that's true? What if

human flesh was... The reason it's so taboo is long ago we found that yeah, yeah, those guys were trapped on that raft and then they ate the cabin boy and god damn it's like honey baked ham mixed with like deep fried cajun turkey it's so sweet and salty at the same time and it melts in your mouth like a filet mignon that's what little boy ass tastes like then you're in a mess right because we got we all got to go to china population oh i like that yeah i'd be okay with eating people to solve the popular go then you're in a mess, right? Because we all got to go to China. We just solved our population. Oh, I like that.

Yeah, I'd be okay with eating people to solve the population. Go Soylent Green with it. Like, it's people. It's made of people. 1970s movie reference. You'd be like, it's people. You eat people. It's people.

Ha ha. Like in the ad. What kind of person would you want to eat? A young one, for sure. We can feed the people we don't want to pigs and then eat the pigs. Let's not be savages about this. Feed the pigs.

Yeah. I've seen many pigs eat many men. Many men. It was a bloodbath, Charlie. Yeah. I'm not as turned off to the idea of eating human flesh i think as the average person is like i feel like if we're in that survival situation like a legit survival like like in the movie alive i would not have waited that long to start carving into those dead people like they're dead and on ice right i'd have been like first campfire event look guys my belly's rumbling

um we first came like the first night like we crashed probably before you're hungry there's still cartons and cartons of peanuts left in first class i'm not gonna survive with these peanuts. There's not enough legumes in there to keep me alive for more than three days. I can't live on peanuts. I'm not a fucking savage. Let's eat the dead. We all know we're going to end up eating the dead, right? So let's boil them up with some peanuts.

It'll add a nice flavor. It's like Chinese food. We'll have a nice sauté going. We can get some of the condiments from first class. Get some condiments. And at the same time, we'll get rid of all those undesirable peanut allergy folks. Those are the

first to go. Sorry, Kitty. We would eat you right away. No, you want to kill the biggest, fattest person first, I think. That just seems like the most humane thing to do. Because, A... The most humane thing is to kill the biggest, fattest person first, I think. That just seems like the most humane thing to do. For the crew. No, the most humane thing is to kill the retarded and the infirm first. Because they won't care as much.

That's long-term. We're talking short-term. This is a short-term eating strategy. You eat the fatties first, and here's why. First of all, we're in a life-and-death scenario. The fatty probably cannot make it down the mountainside anyway. And we need those of us who are fit. Probably eats more than everyone else, too. Absolutely. fatty probably cannot make it down the mountainside anyway. And we need those who are fit. Absolutely. And those of us who are fit

will need that fatty meat for energy. There's more of it to go around, clearly. You can kill two skinny men or you can kill that big fat hippopotamus flat-sew over there. Half the sacrifice, twice the bounty. That's right. When you look at what

is lost, you're looking at sentience. You're looking at the mind, not the body. So you may be twice as big as someone, but it's only one person dying as opposed to two minds dying. I don't know. If I'm trying to hit macros, I'd feel a lot more comfortable eating Kyle than some fat idiot.

I don't think in a survival scenario you're really worried about. You're not thinking, you're not cutting in the survival scenario, Taylor. No, in this joke I am. And I would rather eat Kyle. Like, I bet... I don't know. I bet Kyle's got, like, a lean meat, like a venison kind of taste.

Smoky. More like that. Yeah. I bet Chiz is like a nice ribeye. Like, very succulent. Oh, I know what I'll say. I know what Chiz is like a honey-baked ham. Like, each one of his ass cheeks is like on a bit of cream,

and it's just like a big honey-baked ham, and the fat is just dripping off of it, and we're collecting the fat in our metal cups, and we're, like, pouring it back on top. We're pouring the fat right back on top. Get all those flavors in there, right? I call it George Foreman Chiz. It's a baby back ribs.

What's the other type of ribs called? The feeder ribs. Oh, the short ribs. Short ribs. We're not taking trips anytime soon. I don't like this game plan. I'm a person. If someone's baby dies,

I'm not going to... Look, I'm singing the song. Chili's baby back ribs. Like we're going to the spit. I'm singing it. And I guarantee at least one-third of people crack up. One-third of us crack up at that joke. I think you might be aiming high.

All right? And if there's any breast milk to be had, maybe we can all take a turn at that. As long as we don't get a hold of a cyst or anything. It's sweet. Oh, the breast cyst. You brought it full breast milk. It's sweet. It's like sugary.

Is that a sugar guess? Yeah, but I'd totally eat a first. PKA. Oh, where do we find you, Filthy? Check me out on my YouTube or my Twitch channel. I am both actively streaming and posting to YouTube very regularly. So I'm sure links can be provided for that. Check me out there.

If you enjoy the content, I got lots of it out there. Always enjoy coming on the show. Thanks very much for having me, guys. We love having you. PKA. Great having you on. Awesome. I mean it.