Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #355

Episode Date: October 13, 2017

This week on PKA, everyone's favorite European, Kwebbelkop is back! We learn about the fart bottle Taylor had as a child, the possible idea of a handjob giving restaurant and SpaceX's ambitious mission to Mars. All this and more this week on PKA!

PKA episode 355 with our guest Quibble Cop. Kyle? Couple sponsors tonight. DraftKings, me, Undies. We're going to be talking about the Walking Dead mobile game. And the Total War Warhammer series has returned to critical acclaim. Join the battle with four all-new playable races. The Noble High Elves, their murderous cousins the Dark Elves, the ancient and orderly Lizardmen, and the ravenous, destructive Skaven. In the most absorbing, story-driven, real-time strategy game of the year.

Visit TotalWar.com for more information, or head on over to Steam and purchase your copy of Total War Warhammer 2 today. The Lizardmen. Oh, we've got to get some Alex Jones talk about that. I was just thinking that. Little cup. It'll come later. You're in Canada? You moved?

What's going on? You moved for good? How long are you in Canada? Yes. So my girlfriend's Canadian, and she loves Toronto. She was born and raised in Toronto. And I said, let's go on an adventure. Let's get a place there. And let's just move there for a little bit, see if we like it.

And we love it. It's great. So we have a place here now and we're pretty much going to go up and down between Toronto and Amsterdam. So I have a setup here, got everything. If we're flying back home, like I got my own clothes, like loads of clothes here too now. So all I bring is a backpack with a laptop and my phone. And we're going back in two weeks for a week. And then we're coming back here. So it's really nice.

I like it. That's awesome. Do you fly first class all the time? Yes. It's so much better. Actually, fun story. So most of the time we book our flights pretty last minute. And by last minute, I mean like two months before, which like if you talk about plane ticket prices, it's still really last minute. So unless you book it a year beforehand, it's not going to be much cheaper.

But flying economy and flying business is like business business is twice as expensive as an economy um and then flying first class it's like the same price as business so uh if you pick the right airline so we um we we first time we came over we flew first class and it's like these massive seats they go all flat and these people come over they offer you newspapers i'm like what the hell are you thinking like i'm like what the hell are you thinking like i'm like 22 years do you think i read the news do i look literate to you um right and then uh i can barely read no uh and then uh we were like the only people in first class and i don't know why but apparently nobody noticed that business class in first class was the exact

same price on the flight um maybe it wasn't so we got the and first class was the exact same price on the flight um maybe it wasn't so we got the whole first class for them yeah i yep i love first class it's the greatest i don't always fly it but i did lately another thing the gap in price between first class and economy shrinks a bit if you have a lot of luggage you know sometimes they charge like 50 bucks a bag and you've got two bags and instead of being 500 more now it's only 400 more and it's like well you know it's only 400 more right it's worth the 400 more if you're gonna be on a fucking six hour flight or in your case i don't even know how long nine or ten hours or something no no no no no it's um uh on a good day it's about seven hours so not too bad that's that's bad to me. Like, if I sit for...

It's something around four and a half, five hours, I start getting achy, and my, like, lower back starts killing me. Yeah, man, that's when you start laying down. Yeah, but I'm talking about if I'm crammed in that fucking shitty seat in the back of the plane with the rest of the degenerates. Like, my legs are just too long for that seat i'm not built for that so like i often travel with a couple bags so like what he said it just makes sense to to bump on up to first class for a couple you know three four it's often two three hundred dollars more it's not that bad well that's that's in in america i assume but the moment you fly a continental it's a little bit more than that yeah yeah i don't know much about that i'd have to tap wings it could be hours worth of crypto earnings for you uh what do you mean because you're doing well

in the crypto markets i i uh was i gonna say that oh last time i flew first class was that vacation i just took like in august and i had to fly home with a broken leg and crutches and all that nonsense it was so great to have tons of leg room you know like a wait do you still call them stewardesses a flight hostess whatever yeah i i call them stewardess you know i'm only sharing her with like three other guys you know so she's like taking my crutches and putting them in their own personal like closet that the the staff uses and i don't know i just really felt taken care of i always am in the degenerate section of the plane i've only ever been there and if i go to first class once every subsequent

flight will be full of resentment and frustration and i know it and so i've been on the booking page before where it's like oh my god it's 170 more to go to first class maybe maybe no no because i'm looking to the future and i'm looking at all those other 170 270 purchases like it if it's if it's more than a five hour flight i could see it but most of my flights aren't that long like so it's just easier to sit back there with the cattle the degenerates have your knees up against the fucking uh other guy there's no way that's easier. That's not the adjective you're looking for. This is just like I don't

skip lines in traffic when it's inappropriate. I also never, never lean my seat back on a plane when I'm back in the degenerate area, and I get like, most of that, like 80% of that is righteousness, indignation, because I like to be able to look at everybody else, especially the person in front of me who leans it back and start imagining the other kinds of things they do in their life.

Where it's like, I bet you're mean to waitresses. I bet you don't tip well. I bet you're a piece of shit in your regular life because you clearly don't mind that you can feel my knees cracking right now as you lean back. Like, oh, I hate that. I don't agree with you. Those seats are meant to lean back. No, no, no, no. Those seats are meant to lean back. No, no, no, no. Those seats are capable of leaning back.

Thank you. They're not meant to lean back. That's like getting mad at someone for using their ears during a video, like Call of Duty. Like, oh, my God, that guy heard my footsteps coming. No, they built that in. You're supposed to be able to hear footsteps coming. It's like being mad at someone for taking their shoes off on the plane and letting the- That's not the-

Oh, I am on the same page with that. Guilty. Guilty. You take your- Oh my god, you- Dude, what the fuck? First thing I do, but keep in mind, I'm like in first class. I have like my own fucking room over there most of the time.

I sit down because my feet swell up in the plane. And I take drop my shoes. But when you're in first class, most of the time you do get given socks and sometimes even a pajama. So put on my clean socks, put on my blankets and then grab my laptop. You should not put on fucking airplane pajamas. Eat the weed the cookies then you just eat the cookies and just soar through the sky so to speak you know you're so high yeah uh but it that i i was gonna say i mean you're in first class so it's different i'm back there with the the miscreants

and when those people take their shoes off, I get irrationally, irrationally upset because it is like saying to everyone around you, this is my domain. This is where I need to be comfortable. It's like, no, you're being a cunt right now. I would never take my shoes off

on a plane. It's a level of selfishness that I cannot get on board with. You are stinking it up with you are you're stinking it up for everyone and you're the only person who doesn't care now maybe if you have your own room up there on trump airlines or whatever the fuck you fly it's a different thing but like it back especially if you're an economy man it's terrible and a new thing that economy in the last five years or so has started charging you more for every extra seat. And it's not worth it.

Like, you know, the exit row seats, they don't lean back, but you get like another inch of room. And they charge $35 extra for that. Oh my God, fuck off. It used to be that if you went to the internet and like, you know, learned all about the United Airlines version of the 737, you could figure out which were the best seats.

That doesn't happen anymore. You just, you have to pay extra if the seat is in any way not terrible. Yeah. And because, like, I, like, sometimes I'll get on a plane and be like, oh, have I gotten taller in the last six years? It's like, well, no, they're just slowly shrinking shit up, you know, making it more compact. I don't like, I was on a flight to Michigan like a couple months ago, and the dude next to me was, number one, too overweight to not have purchased at least a business premium or whatever the fuck it's called seat.

Like, if you're that heavy, I do think it's your responsibility to do that. It's not fair to be spilling over into mine. But this dude was not only spilling over into mine. He was the window, which means I have access to the middle armrest, right? It's only two of us. I have access to the armrest. He has the window. He can lean over there.

I have nowhere to lean. My legs are already splayed out to where I'm getting bumped every time the goddamn drink lady comes by. And I'm not pleased with it. And this guy, it was an hour and a half, two-hour flight, flight not long at all and the guy fell asleep on me three times this this fat jackass on his liver spotted forehead Gorbachev nasty skull and I kept like I didn't say anything cuz they want to be rude But I kept giving him like progressively more aggressive You know checks take to wake him up and he always like just would kind of look over and just you know Oh, sorry, and then pretend like he was trying to fall asleep on his window seat and then do it again

It's like dude. We're not in this together So you in the middle of the aisle seat I had the aisle seat He had the window so he could have the aisle seat. He had the window. So he could have just as easily leaned up against the window and slept. But you claim the middle armrest. Yeah, yeah. I claim the middle armrest because I'm on the aisle. So I need to be able to lean in, and I need something to lean in on.

He can just lean on the window. But it wasn't good enough for this fat fellow, like a weeble wobble. If you kick this guy in the head, he'd come right back at you and probably knock you over with that. I feel like these rules aren't well established, right? Because I always thought that prior to the Jim Jefferies comedy routine, I always thought that one person would have the front of the arm resting, the other person would have the back. And, you know, the back is better better but that's how it was split up and uh then jim jeffries said hey if you're in the middle right the aisle person gets a little extra like shoulder room the window person gets the window and the ability to lean on something and the middle run gets both armrests that's that's how the comedy routine goes because we live in a society we're not savages and it was like oh okay so i guess

that's the new rule but it only applies to people who saw jim jeffries and agree so i think it applies to common sense people i mean for one he was describing the three row thing i was in a two row thing just me and him so like the there was only my armrest on the right the middle one and then his on the left and then he had the window which is why i was so pissed people prefer this this guy was in his late 60s probably and so he's flown enough to know better to not fall asleep on strangers in in the i don't know i i've never fallen asleep on a stranger in a plane i'd never think of it i'd never take my shoes off on a plane i don't leave my seat back because the sweetest thing even more than being

comfortable on a plane is feeling better than the people around you. I like that. I'm with you. I'm with you 100%. Now, I will take my shoes off on the plane, though, and here's why. My feet do not stink, okay? My feet don't. Oh, you think your feet don't stink.

No, no, no. For my feet to stink, I have to be going all day. My feet don't even break a sweat. I'm telling you, I'm not taking them off because my feet are sweaty. I'm taking them off because I want to make myself more comfortable. And I'm in first class, so nobody can say anything to me anyway. I might hand my shoes off to that slave lady. What did you call her?

Slave lady, right? Stewardess? Could also be a guy, okay? Quick disclaimer. Yeah. I... I think they're known as flight floozies. You guys can do whatever you want in your highfalutin first class. I'm talking about the rules for the rest of us.

Yeah, in first class, everyone has their own armrest. Problem solved. The best thing about first class if you drink is that there's free alcohol. And they really don't. I've never seen them cut a person off. Like, they cut people off in the movies.

I had it once. They cut you off? So what happened, but I'm not sure if she was doing it intentionally, but I was flying actually from Toronto, and I was like, just give me everything on the menu, right? So I had like, I think it was five different shots and i was mixing it a little bit drinking a little bit and then i i asked the lady three times to give me another uh vodka shot um but she kept on forgetting about it and then i ended up going to a different one who gave it to me um and then I pass out yeah there you go because that's the point that's why like I don't I don't

drink often but if I'm flying especially a long flight I want to get two or three shots in me right off the bat I don't want to fuck around about this I'll order like uh jack and cokes and uh and I'll I'll just drink do you do it to make you uh to make you sleepy or do you do it yeah because it's like kind of mellow you out for the flight? No, no, no. I want to be unconscious. So I'll take an anti-anxiety pill as well. Those are good to mix with alcohol, yeah.

They're not good. They say they're not good. What they mean is they're great. That's what they really mean. They're not good if you're going to operate heavy machinery. But look, I'm not flying the fucking plane I'm sitting back here so combine the two and I'm able to sleep because I like to get the window I always get the window and I bring a big fucking pillow with me not some little neck pillow not something you could buy in

A store I bring a king-sized $80 industrial grade pillow a body pillow with the dude printed on it. Oh Snuggle pillow. I get that thing, like this is the window on my right side, and it's just like, I don't have to do this to sleep. I don't have to go all the way over. It's just like, boom, and I'm on the pillow. It's so fucking nice. I

knock out, I go to sleep, and I wake up in Seattle or Los Angeles or where the fuck I'm going. It's so much nicer. It's so much nicer. I'm not at all a germaphobe, but I would never bring a pillow on a plane and then bring that pillow back to my bed and use it. Like, it just seems kind of gross. Because I feel like on a plane, the whole time you're just breathing other people's breath, right? Well, it's recycling the air constantly. Yeah, and that's why your little feet, you know, escapades up there actually do impact the rest of us.

No, no, no. That's trickle-down smell. That's still fine. I like to put my feet like, when they're really smelly, I turn the thing open all the way at the, what was it, the ACJ, right? And I put, like, my feet and put it up there so they can dry a little bit faster. I put my feet out there so they can dry a little bit faster. I find the intake the way it gets distributed.

Have you ever had the person behind you slide their foot up to the point where you can see it? I had it at their window. I've seen many posts on the internet. I was just chilling and all then all of a sudden, I feel like something bumping into my elbow,

and I'm like, what's that? And it's just someone's feet sticking out. It's so fucking rude. You know what you need to bring? Everybody should be given a small bolt cutter when they enter the plane. And if anybody puts their feet into your territory, they've just said, I don't need this big toe.

You're going straight to big toe, I just have I just going straight to big toe No warning Right and they don't pull it back. They'll never they'll never do it again. What if it's a big hairy man foot even better Maybe just a little lick he, ah, don't be scared. He's like, give me more. Oh, shit. Now this guy's falling into the back. Why is he putting his butt over the seat?

Yeah, there's nothing to do to get back at him, really. Unless you need to sneeze on the plane and you're like, I'm rude! You can write back on him. That's the moment you put your seat back so you know if some if somebody puts his foot there that's when you get the that's the signal of like oh no you just got your drinks oh no you spilled them all over yourself i'm bad because i thought putting the seat back pretty much everybody did that to me it's like that light beeps, all the seats should go back in unison, and that's how economy works. You know what I would call him?

I would say, everybody, this guy's a pedophile. A pedophile. Because, you know, like pediatrics, like feet stuff, he just has to have his feet in everybody else's business. He's a pedophile. That's what he is. Pediatrics is children. He's a pedophile. That's what he is. And as soon as you call someone a pedophile... Pediatrics is children. Podiatry, sorry.

Podophile. It's hard to say podophile because you're saying pedophile. But that's what you do. You will be surprised how quickly that foot retreats backwards when you accuse someone of being a pedophile in the economy class three quarters of the way through a Delta flight. You know?

These are facts. I want to be witness to one of these airline incidents where some passenger has to be removed. Just for the views. They're screaming and crying. I had a criminal on board once where

the plane stopped and they said this person has to leave the plane first because of criminal charges here in the U.S. or some shit like that. I was like, oh, shit. But that's the most action I ever got. They called him out like that, huh? Yep. Like, goddamn, they could have been like, oh, we got some special requirements for Mr. Stevens over there.

Can he come first? I think it's mandatory. They just have to announce it. He's a pot of file. We need him to come out first. Pot of file Jeremy Stevens, please come out first. The only thing I've had like that is they had a dead soldier's body on board and they unloaded him before they let anybody go off the plane. They were like, we're going to unload the dead soldier before you can exit. And I was like, what did they do?

Did they put him in the overhead? Like, what the fuck? Is he the reason I had to get that little fucking pink tag on my roll bag and now I'm going to have to wait as some slothful fat lady slowly lifts it up and puts it there on the landing? Oh, I hate that i hate that little surprise where they're like you know how usually you guys get that your carry on and i'm like yeah i didn't even carry on i'm just a small roller bag if it rolls you're gonna have to give it to us and hope we don't fuck up as we are one to do you know what you should say uh because i'm always a loss to enter the plane because there's no point in waiting in my opinion

So we just sit and then wait until the line the queue even though we have like fast pass Whatever we just wait and then the moment the lines like gone you just walk Okay, and it's like five minutes till the boarding closes You just walk in you can go all the way in but if it's like a small plane They'll always say you're gonna put your luggage over here Because the planes full and you're like whoa You know I I this is it's like a bag They're like sorry it doesn't fit under the seat and they the best thing to say say something like oh

But my medications in there or whatever and then sometimes they'll be, oh, okay, don't worry about it. Well, sir, can your medication wait until you land? No, I have HIV and I have chronic nosebleeds. You're missing out on one of the best parts of first class, right? You board first and then

as you watch all the people stream by, they get to see that you're in first class. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I actually have a fun story with that. So, when I fly first class, okay, I enter through a different tube thing, whatever it's called. There's probably a word for it.

So, the other people don't walk by. But then this one time, somebody did go through, maybe because he was going like he was at the front of business which is like right at first class and he was a fan and i'm just chilling there on my phone and this kid he walks by walks by again walks by again because you know obviously i'm not blind and then he just stops and stands there just like like this staring at me and then he stood there for so long that I was like well I'm just gonna start filming this because this kid is being a little creep and then eventually he got the balls to ask for a picture and i was like sure yeah like i'm not going anywhere for the next seven hours have you ever seen someone try to

come up to the first class bathroom and get turned away uh no no i love it i love it it takes me back to a time when there were whites only bathrooms bathrooms and that was happening left and right. You're talking about those times longingly. Oh, oh god! Somebody from the cattle class, somebody from the dredges of the plane creeps on up there and they come around, they open the fucking curtain. And when you hear that curtain slide, you look back like, oh oh is that my screwdriver is that my orange juice and vodka no it's it's a miscreant come forth to shit in my toilet i think not and immediately those those stewardesses are right on it no no no you go back there and stand in the line this is the first class only bathroom you're you're not allowed up

here but the same is not true you can go back and use it and nobody yes shit Yes, I love it That is is you say I'm so sorry I have IBS and I'm gonna I'm gonna shit all over first class if you don't let me through I'm so sorry It's ok and back and then I don't think it works. Yeah, they're gonna go alright. Just be quick That's exactly what will happen Again a little bit louder ma'am. I already told you I have a medical condition ibs and i need to get to the bathroom now are you telling me i'm not able to get through because of some policy i'm gonna go i'm gonna go

shit all over 20a if you don't give me and just make it up and then just walk in pee and by the time you're out they'll be like yeah he clearly just peed but that high number sounds like cattle class you could shit on them. That's fine. They don't care. They're used to it back there. When I do fly economy and I have to walk through first class, which is normal on the domestic flights, I always look at all the people in first class because they boarded first and try to imagine how they got there. Like, oh, that guy looks like a business owner, an executive. She inherited this wealth.

She doesn't deserve to be here it's it's really funny when me and my girlfriend were like flying first class and you know we're we're both in our 20s you're like a young couple and we're like the only people that are sitting there in our sweatpants like our like our air traveling outfit and then we're sitting there like they probably think we're brother and sister and we've got some really rich parents that are like yeah just fly first class to toronto or whatever it's it's pretty funny my thing is to so like i'll be in first class and they're like you know so what do you do right wanting to tell me how they're an executive or whatever like what do i do nothing really i've got a minecraft server yeah i don't do jack shit i mostly just kind of

fuck around all day what do you do and that's my favorite you know pka no i never the uh the best thing i've ever seen on a plane it kind of goes along with this is uh me and kitty were flying from seattle to la and virgin runs a flight down through there and I fucking love Virgin but there aren't they don't fly out of Atlanta so I rarely rarely get the opportunity and we're up in first class and then the first class is like something out of Star Trek it's all pink like the lighting is pink and it's really low so you've got like a Blade Runner vibe to the whole thing up there there's plexiglass dividers instead of just that cheap-ass plastic. And Kitty's got her seat laid out completely flat,

the bed seat, and she's asleep. And I'm on my phone doing something up there, playing a game or something. And this Asian lady comes up. This old Asian lady comes up wanting to use our bathroom. And she's quickly turned away. And I kind of laugh at that, because, you know, I'm an asshole and all. And

then, like, ten 10 minutes later she comes back but this time she's very sneaky about it she's peeking around lurking coming up coming up forward she's just linked a cool picture of the first class it's brilliant and and she comes and she stops next to Kitty and she walks

into our row okay she walks into our row to the point where she's between me and Kitty and I'm just sitting there looking at her like cuz she's up she's but it's only two chairs right yeah it's two chairs side by side and she's between us and I'm like looking there like what the fuck and she goes hey hey waking Kitty up instead of talking to me hey hey this seat very nice how much you pay how much you pay for this seat how much and kitty wakes up out of like a fog of dreariness

what you talking about and she's like this seat how much and i'm like i think she wants to buy your seat from you she's like no i know she doesn't you know she doesn't. Free dry cleaning for a year! Kitty's like, no you can't have it, it's my seat! I'm sitting here! And the fucking stewardess comes and like, ma'am, I've told you you gotta go! And the whole time when they're ushering her to the back of the plane where she belongs, she's just like, how much this seat? How much it cost? Like, bizarre.

Bizarre. Bizarre. She could just check online. Of course she could. She just wanted to be disruptive and sneak up on problems. I've never snuck into first class because when I pay for the shit seats,

I know that's my place. With the drags. If I ever run for office i'll say when i fly i still fly coach of course at the time like i won't but i'll lie and say it no no what other things in life are like airlines in that there is this first class and then the rest of the people kind of the ubers i don't know if you guys have ever used uber yeah um where you know you got yeah okay so with uber you have uh in in in big big cities you have different types of uber you can order from uber x being the uh almost the cheapest um but the most most mostly used to Uber Lux, which is like Luxury's Uber, loads of leg room and there's

like a, you know, it always smells good. So with UberX, most of the time it's a little bit of a gamble where you order a taxi, right? But it's an unlicensed taxi driver which comes over and it's like toyota prius um which smells and they got the windows locked up and it's sometimes it's like a dirty old man he's like oh you got a nice girlfriend over there right and you're like uh thanks um but you could also step it up a notch and then go with it like the the Uber Lux, where you walk up to the car and the guy jumps on his knees and goes like that, opens the door, rolls out the red carpet. He's like, here's your champagne, sir. But then it's pretty expensive. gotten like the uh lyft or uber or whatever like the high rung is when that's the only one that's

available right away on the app and it's like i'm not gonna wait for the regular thing just fuck it give me this so and then it just ends up being like a yukon xl with just you in it and like one other person it's like well this isn't worth four times the price like all that i want they can pick me up in a goddamn rickshaw as long as they don't try and talk to me. I don't want to talk. I'll be polite if they do, but at the end of the day, I just want to treat this like a cab. I saw a picture of

a restaurant where there was a little card with a chalkboard type thing, and you checked off what level of waitress interaction you preferred, right? At a minimum, you just say, just take my order and please fuck off. And at the maximum, it's like,

sit down while you take the order, tell us a joke, you can be part of our party tonight. And I've been all over the place on my, I think I'd choose the first one most of the time. But I've been like, yeah, it'd be fun to have the waitress crack a joke or whatever. But if I ever owned a yeah, it'd be fun to have the waitress crack a joke or whatever.

But if I ever owned a restaurant, which I would hate, that's what I would do. I would let them choose the waitress interaction level. I want a restaurant where the waitresses are also whores, and you could check that you wanted a hand job. Like if she's going to be sliding into the booth. And it's unmonetized. This video is unmonetized. There we go. Yep. The auto-caption just picked that up. We're done, guys. Kyle, that's a decent

I'd... Well, no. It's not really because I don't want to mix sex service and food prep. Like, I don't want to walk in and be like, what am I gonna have tonight? Oh, I'll get some sashimi or whatever. And then you see a bunch of, you know, unattractive losers leaving with big smiles on your face. And you're like, oh, well, I guess the person serving me my sushi just tugged that guy off.

Oh, sorry. We don't make it low class. This is like a Hooters. We make it very expensive to get in. Yeah, it's not low class after you finish your check. And then they go, would you like to opt into the handjob? You go, of course. Oh, no, the handjob is pre-meal. You want the handjob

before you eat to work up the appetite. It's still at the restaurant. Who would you go to this so-called restaurant with? Would you take your business partners there? Take my dad. Take my mom. You know,

grandparents, uncles, cousins, that sort of thing. Make it a family experience. Now, would you have different waitresses service you all or the same one? Well, we would all, we would just, we would pick one. There would be a bit of a negotiation and we'd all agree on one waiter or waitress, depending on what kind of mood everyone was in that night. Male and female?

No, there's just one person serving the four of them. Preferably, like, that's just one person serving the four of them. That's what would make my restaurant special. We would have hermaphrodite waitrixes. Oh, wow. Waitrixes. And you'd have everything in one stop. You'd bring your little league team there after a victory.

Oh, now that is a deserving reward right there. If they come in there with their trophy and everything and all those 12-year-olds are getting the handies, they'll never forget that. What if the victories get blowies and then the participation trophy crowd get handies? No, the participation crowd gets nothing because that's life. You don't get hand jobs just for participating first loser

yeah first loser yeah i like my world a little better maybe that i like that like that's how sports should work i feel like like now when you lose you just walk off the field like nothing happened right there should be like like something should happen to you it should you know you take the winning team they got got the Stanley Cup. They're all drinking beer out of it or whatever you fools do with that thing, pissing in it, fucking women with it. I don't even know what it looks like. It's a big cup, I imagine. They should do something awful to the first loser, the team that gets beaten.

It's not enough that they lose. What if they got their asses kicked out there? What if they all got a paddling or something? So it's better to be the third best team than the second. The first team that gets kicked out of the playoffs gets punished or the team that loses in the Stanley Cup gets punished? Loses in the Stanley Cup. Because you want the championship game,

the one that's bringing in all the ratings and eyes, to really have something important behind it. It's like, yeah, the Blackhawks could win it all. Yeah, but think about the four Flyers. They're going to get raped after this. Literally raped. What would the punishment be to the losing team? They can't see their kids for like five years.

They can't see their kids. They're like in the Stanley Cup again four years later and like, I can't take another five years of this. We got to bring this home. I miss my children. But because so many of them are Canadian, like the punishment could just be like, I can't take another five years of this. We've got to bring this home. I miss my children. But because so many of them are Canadian, the punishment could just be like, hey, you have to go have five public arguments with people. Oh, no.

Where at least ten people can hear. I saw my first public argument the other day right in front of my condo, the building. And this one guy just freaks out about some guy being parked there for too long It's like you're holding up the whole place You've been parked there for 20 minutes, and it's like he can be here for like 15 minutes max and then and then these two guys just start shouting at each other like right in front and security's being called and then eventually like I just turned around for a second and I look back and this one guy just goes yeah he pulled a fucking knife on me blah blah blah blah yeah that was the pilot Canadian Canadian argument that's a much

more intense can I. And the best was because there are quite a lot of homeless people here. We were walking home from a night out or dinner or whatever. And there's this crazy guy just screaming and shouting

about all his conspiracies like, God, I used to be in the army. Why are you guys ignoring me? Why are you blah, blah, blah? Not even real maple syrup anymore, you know? And he had his t-shirt off, and he was like really aggressive. And I'm there with my girlfriend walking down. And he's like screaming and shouting.

And in front of like a store, and then some people want to enter the store, and he just opens up the door and holds the door open for a few people while he's gone like He's like holding the door like People are just walking in and out as if it's like the most normal thing and I was Alex Jones That was Alex Jones. Yeah, it was talking about camping trails and yes

Kim trails lizard and then he tried selling me his anti-fluoride filter or whatever. It's just crazy. You need that. You need that. Oh, actually, I drink fluoride-free water. Smart. Very smart. Very smart. A lot of fools don't realize the extent

to which fluoride actually poisons you. It makes your teeth worse. Most dentists, at least one out of five dentists agree it makes your teeth worse. So much for that being the theory that fluoride is whatisons you. It makes your teeth worse. Most dentists, at least one out of five dentists agree it makes your teeth worse. So much for that being the theory that fluoride is what makes you gay. Oh, shit. I didn't know that. That's like, the fluoride thing in the water is like

one of the most pants-on-head retarded conspiracy theories. Like, it takes five seconds to look up, like, hey, what's the dental health like in counties with fluoride in the water versus with counties without fluoride in the water? And there are marked differences based on counties. Like, it's just a fact. Like, kids who don't have fluoride in the water have shittier teeth.

So as far as I know, you know, I was born and raised in a country where there's no fluoride in the water. And my teeth are fine. in a country where there's no fluoride in the water and my teeth are fine um and in the research i've done right but at the end of the day whatever british people say too by the way yeah yeah okay and one falls out pretty much you just gotta brush your teeth and eat healthy Steve's not supposed to be tough with his teeth. You're supposed to have a bit of color on there and some personality. Pretty much, you just got to brush your teeth and eat healthy if you want some nice to play. I hear that all the time. It's not about, oh, let me just drink some extra water to make sure. I didn't brush my teeth today.

I grew up on well water, so definitely no fluoride in that. Probably some minerals in there, I would imagine. I grew up on river water. I had a lot of diarrhea. Jesus Christ. He's just constantly. be some minerals in there i would imagine i grew up on river water i love diarrhea jesus christ constantly yeah fluoride toothpaste i guess because you know my teeth didn't rot out or anything like like a couple of i do have a back molar i got two back molars that that have like

they're just they're just going away they like like they had fillings in them and the filling fell out and i didn't do shit about it. And then the middle of... That's my position right now. I was like, fuck it. At this point, I would rather just wait until I have insurance and then pretend like this just happened yesterday

and just get some implants just thrown in there. Dental insurance is a scam. Yeah, I mean, usually I have a lot of work to do. Yeah, so look, of course there's different plans out there, but dental insurance is a

bullshit insurance. So first of all, it costs like, I don't know, hundreds of dollars a year. It's not that cheap. And then it covers two cleanings, which is roughly the cost of the insurance. But you think to yourself, but wait a minute. What if something big happens, right? What if I need crowns?

There's like a $1,500 cap on what a dental insurance plan pays out. So best case scenario, you get like $600 back or something when you would otherwise have paid $400 a year. Like dental insurance is bullshit. So you're telling me that there is no dental plan out there that's the good one. I don't care if it's $2,000. What we do, our dentist has

a membership plan almost. He's like, hey, you pay us up front. You get two cleanings. You get 20% off anything we do. We do this and that. And that is the best plan that I have seen. Really? Yeah. That's horse shit. I don't like

that because what I want to do is buy the most expensive plan, $600 a month, just for dental insurance, wherever the fuck it is, and then go in there and be like, hey, I'm all jacked up back there. You're going to need to pull two, replace three, need a cap replaced over here, and fix this thing over here too.

I want to go in there and get like 8,000. I want to get your pre-existing conditions covered. Yes. I'm like what Tom Cruise has. Those shiny giant teeth. He has veneers. Eventually I will get those veneers. I plan to.

When I'm maybe 40 it's it's definitely like when I may be For some mom has definitely yeah, they look at it was it was a I got my mom a present And I was like mommy you're getting new teeth because she you know she Had some no fluoride she grew fluoride You're really not selling me on the no fluoride thing carry on She grew up with no fluoride. You're really not selling me on the no fluoride thing. Carry on. No, this is 100% anecdotal.

Okay, okay. My mom isn't the youngest anymore, right? And her medication made it worse. But it looks really good. And it's all fake teeth. It's pretty expensive, though. Like 15 grand-ish? What was it? It was half

sorry half of that in the Netherlands at least and that's euros though but it looks great like I mean if you get into an accident or whatever or if you just have really shitty teeth eventually

definitely worth it it changes your entire face. Yeah, I plan to get about $25,000, $30,000 worth of teeth at some point because I figure I'll go halfway through life to 40 and be like, alright, full new set. Yank all

these out, give me implants, I want to be perfect. Make them a little smaller maybe. Hey, make my incisors a little extra long and sharp too. I want vampire teeth for biting people. Not quite vampire, but I want it to be like when the vampire's not in go mode. You know, they go and they pop down. I want it to be like pre...

I want it to be like the fangs that are up there. I want them sharp. I want them a little too sharp. Like if I bite my tongue, it should bleed. And I want them a little longer want them a little too sharp. Like, if I bite my tongue, it should bleed. But, and I want them a little longer than normal. Just a little. That's gonna fuck with your bite. You're gonna be like, it won't touch your lips all the way. No, full set of teeth.

They're gonna fit perfectly. They're gonna fit perfectly. It's gonna be like a barracuda. It's gonna be sick. I've chipped teeth. Like, I mean, I mean, barracudaacuda that put an interesting image I like that I hope you do that'd be good for the show

like Ralph Fiennes from Black Dragon throw some gauge earrings in there I'm sorry Taylor carry on twice at the dentist I've had chipped teeth fixed and of course like what he says even if you have dental insurance it's like what do you know it's not me using fucking toothpaste and a spinny brush so it's gonna be extra you know and and so i had them they like they basically put

like white you know enamel replacement or whatever the hell on your teeth and it's like my front tooth and then my incisors there or canines i guess they are and then you shine that blue light and it hardens and they say you know by the end of the day you should be good to eat and all good to go i've never had one of those last more than three days. The first time I had it get done, three days later, I was eating a cheeseburger at Red Robin. Not a

hard food. There wasn't like a hidden crystalline chunk in there or something? It was literally just a cheeseburger. It was applewood smoked bacon on a burger. And I bit through and felt like a little click, like someone snapped in my mouth. And then I felt, and I'm like, oh, it's fucking gone. Fucking gone.

That's great. Went back like a year later, got it done again. And same day that time, they fell off. And I'm like, fuck this. Like, I'm never getting this chip fixed on my, this tooth, because it's not noticeable unless you're looking for it. And it's just, I'd rather just get the veneer. experience i was daily vlogging at the time so there's videos about it but yeah i i bit a fork i felt like such an idiot right like aren't we all capable of using forks but i was like oh this

would never happen yeah you're so right wooden cushy but i was i was reading on the computer and just showering down at the same time and somehow fuck that up i don't know you'd think i'd be good at eating by now but i'm not and uh bit the fork chipped i want to say both of my front teeth so that i had like a little v thing going on it wasn't that extreme but the way teeth are like if even a millimeter is missing one you kind of see it two it feels to me like four inches of teeth are missing. Yeah, you notice it.

To me, it's outrageously different. So I went to my dentist who's really good. He does all the veneers and stuff for like Miss America pageants and shit. And he put it together. But like you, I had the tiniest little chip come off the front of it. It was still better, but it wasn't exactly like before. So he just rounded it, and we called it good, and it's stuck since. That's good.

One of the few times I've been in the ocean, I had my skimboard, and a big wave came and knocked the skimboard. You know how waves work, I'm sure. Was it a skimboard? Were you skimboarding with all the other nine-year-olds? Look, I went, and I saw this guy guy skimboards don't float really and then after that you had a beyblade tournament wasn't it like a bodyboard it could have been a bodyboard was it was it was it soft or hard i don't remember i what i do remember is purchasing the skimboard

and i don't remember where i would have gotten a body board. Regardless, the wave hit the board I was holding and that hit the bottom of my chin and it made my mouth slap shut and I could feel the bits of teeth in my mouth. I was like, and I spit out little bits of teeth. Not big, like half the size of a grain of salt

or a grain of rice. And I was just like, oh, fuck. That's permanent. That's fucking permanent. But the skimboard thing gets you mocked. Dude, I went to Panama City Beach, and we go out on the beach, and we're just sitting there looking at the ocean,

which people enjoy for some reason. And the sun, like the sun doesn't shine anywhere but the fucking beach. I don't get it. The sun's everywhere. It's a point. And there's this guy out there who's maybe 15. He gets his running start, throws his skimboard down, and he goes out onto the wave, like goes up on the wave, does a little loop-de-loop, then comes back.

And it was like, holy shit, that's like surfing, but cool and easier. And easy. I was wrong. Though I've never tried to surf, it was very hard to do what he did. But I was not going to simply rent a skimboard like the rest of these people I was like hey let's go buy some skimboards so I went and bought like a $275 skimboard maybe it was a skimboard I don't know where it is to this day it was beautiful I got the nicest skimboard it was

yellow and it like faded to white with this cloudy pattern and I got the nicest skimboard. It was yellow, and it faded to white with this cloudy pattern. And I got some cool stickers and put on it. Did they sell any talent with the skimboard? Could you get that, too? No, but I got lessons. I found somebody there. I found the kid who was the pro. And I was like, hey, man, will you help me out? And I always hear you talk about the local beach guys, like surfers,

who really don't like people intruding on their waves. And I suppose skimboarders, that's a different community, or maybe it's just a different beach, who the fuck knows. He was like, yeah! Yeah, it's so much fun! Come on, I've been doing it for years! And he showed me how to do it for a while, and I was really enjoying it, and I let one of my friends borrow the

skimboard, and he fell, and he scraped his knee on a seashell that was in the sand, and it literally took all the skin off his fucking knee, and the injury was so gruesome that I was like, I don't want to do this anymore, because if that happened to me... After a $300 purchase, you just were like, all right, sunk cost. Well, I mean, I was only going to be there for five days anyway.

I figured when I get back home, this thing will look cool stuck in the corner or hung up on the wall. It was beautiful. To this day, I'm wondering where the fuck my skimboard is because it just doesn't go missing. That thing has to be somewhere. I went to my dad's house the other day. Nowhere to be found. Maybe it's in the attic. I see skimboards

the same way I see I know we've all skied before. You know those shoe blades that people do and they can't ski for real? Where it's just very short skis, like skates? You know what I'm talking about? And those people are always hogging the entire jump tricks area. And it's just annoying.

Because first of all, none of you are getting enough fucking speed to get do anything cool Because you're wearing these little bitch skis because I guess you don't want to go that fast And you're going so slow there. They're almost as annoying as snowboarders Snowboarders I bet it's hard it looks hard. It looks harder than skiing I've never tried it, but the way that the snowboarders will just Stop in the middle of a run and then sit down with their six stoner friends or whatever drives me crazy have you're you're a snow elitist so so so what is the proper technique for for for enjoying a ski slope like if everyone doesn't do exactly what you're doing there it sounds like

they're an asshole no if uh if you stop in the middle of a run when it's busy you're an asshole and these snowboarders never go over to the wood line and then stop there. They always will just sit right over the hump of a run. So I'm going on my skis and then ten yards away from me, I'm like oh, a bunch of assholes with

festive hats! And then you fucking go around them and then you look back and you say, fuck off! And then you keep going down. And you don't have to worry about it. I can flip them off all day say hey I'm gonna go down there and beat up your dad What are you gonna do about it or something and they can't catch you because I'm on skis and they're on a snowboard and if They're a world-class snowboarder, and I'm half decent on skis. I'm gonna win cuz they're faster, and I'll just take the easy run Is that even true you'll just run? It's mostly true

Probably I just like it snowboarding go way way fast because i've skied with snowboarders before and where their level of snowboarding was like an eight out of ten and my level of skiing was like a six out of ten and you always have to wait like a minute at the end of a long run which i mean it's a long time when you're flying down the mountain so man i miss skiing i haven't gone in a while so much i feel like like like the snowboarding thing needs need some sort of a motor right motorization like i saw that thing that casey nystad had that drone that was pulling him along that looked like so much fucking fun and it looked to me because

you had this forward thing like just like like like water skiing that if you messed up you could kind of recover a little bit it seemed like if you lost your balance you could you could you could correct that because it wasn't fun at all i saw the behind the scenes that he made about it and he's like one it's freezing cold because you're basically under a helicopter and it's just blowing air at you at like 80 miles an hour and uh two like they tried not to have the video reflect this truth but he's spinning under it, and getting a little out of control, like, because he's not just, like, going straight, like the three seconds of several different flights

that they put together as the video. In real life, it's like, all right, let's put this down. And if you watch the behind the scenes, it's like, oh yeah, that's not that great of experience. And there was something else, like he wanted to be dressed full on as Santa, but like it didn't work

because it was too dangerous and shit. And he was, it looked like he was holding it like a tow rope behind a boat that you'd water ski. But really he was hooked into a whole harness and stuff under there. Yeah, yeah.

I definitely realized that when he took off and went airborne. That was pretty cool. Let me do this advertisement here. Talk about Total War Warhammer a little bit. The Total War Warhammer series has returned to critical acclaim. Join the battle

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Because the first one I thought was great. I'm definitely playing this one too. I like the idea of the new factions. The lizard men especially. Because they seemed pretty neat in the cinematic trailer. Even though those really don't end up giving you anything. Do they hiss? It was more of a snarl

but but they definitely seemed fun and uh yeah like i want you to get into it too i will because i know you'll like it it's so much fun to do because it it's so many it's just tactics you know it's like you both get the same amount of money to buy whatever units you want and then you get to set them up in in these like formations and you can hide units in the trees for like surprise attacks you can uh there's just so much you can do and i'm still so bad at it that if i try and play online it's not even worth it like i when i play online i just spend all my money on like ridiculous units because i'm like well i can try and make a good unit composition army or i could buy 15 cave trolls and just see what happens.

And then you just do that, and you march forward with your Ents or your Giants or your stone-throwing, you know, monolithic creatures. It's a really cool game. The fantasy aspect is great. So it's real-time strategy. Yeah. Right? Okay, and how many players could play it?

Like, we were playing, like, is there, like, a team mode where we could do 4v4? Yeah, yeah. We could, like, basically we could do something where it's like me and you versus two other people and we're both on different sides of a map in a corner but when you start it's not like your position starts there you have a line on your half of the battlefield or your third or whatever and you can position units wherever in there so if you're like really archer heavy you might want to try and bait them into you. But if you're playing a Bretonnia or a horse or cavalry heavy thing, there are some units that can forward place

to try and just rush up as fast as possible. But it's a ton of fun. Are there territorial points, or is it more about annihilation? It's all about annihilation. So the campaign mode is where you are running like a city and building things and trying to conquer the entire world. And it's incredibly hard. But that's Solo.

This, Total War, is exactly the name of the game. Total War. You're not catching up with resources. You're not building forts. The entire game of Versus is the point of battle. Like you've already spent your resources in the pre game of versus is the point of battle like you've already spent your resources in the pre-game to get all the units you want and then you have to hope that your opponent doesn't tech to you yeah all right i'll uh i'll buy it tonight um i don't know if you can play it tonight but chiz needs to get on and play nobody will come play company

of heroes with me so i i will play a different game i just want to play some games with you guys so so uh and and i feel like i'm so good at Company of Heroes 2 that you guys would just get destroyed anyway. You wouldn't want to play with someone like me. Just be a bloodbath. Just be a bloodbath. Be humiliating. So it's probably best that we all start with a fresh game. So yeah, let's get into it. I might be able to play

tonight. That would be a lot of fun. Does anybody here play PUBG? Yeah, man. I've got maybe 300 hours in it, something like that. I haven't played in like a month because I got a little burnt out on it. And look, the developers, look, I love the devs of that game. And they're continuously improving it, adding weapon packs. And they've got fog now.

That's really cool. They're adding the VW bus. That's lame. But what they had promised was a new map was coming and so i was like all right it's coming it's i i was like all right i'm a little burnt out i'm gonna stop playing until the new map comes out and i thought that'd be 10 days and then a month and a half passed and i'm and like i i'm sticking to my word at this point i'm not not that it matters to anyone least six months. All of my friends keep messaging, my

PUBG friends, because I have a whole clan. We call ourselves the clan. And they keep messaging me wanting to play. We all dress alike. It's a good time. That makes sense. Pointy helmets. They're like, hey, you getting on to play? And I'm like, no, I'm waiting on the new map. And they're like, well, they added

the M1A1. I'm like, I don't fucking care about the M1A1. They added fog. i don't want fog that makes things worse yeah i want the new map i want the new map because the new map has a big city in it like a big centralized area and i'm a i'm a corner peaking asshole right like i'm pretty good strategy wise i think and my game knowledge is top tier because i get obsessive with shit like this and I watch video after video after video and I watch dozens of hours of Twitch and shit. So I get good at this stuff fast. My only weakness, I would say,

the only weakness, is long-range combat because that's those CSGO guys have that shit down. Those CSGO guys have it down. No, no, no, no. It's because, like, I've played CSGO. I've down. No, no, no, no. Because, like, well, I've played CSGO.

I've played a lot of PUBG and many, many years of Call of Duty. But I feel like the long-range battles, and I'm thinking 200, 300 meters apart right now, what you're saying, right? Exactly. I think that's totally different. The game it reminds me of is DayZ, like Arma and stuff, because you have to zero your weapon, right? You have to give your teammates the right call out. Yeah, I use Kentucky Windage. I just aim above.

Yeah, it's called Kentucky Windage when you just adjust on your own. Yeah, after a while, you've got it memorized, and you're just faster than hitting page up, page down, because I haven't messed with those hotkeys. I've got lean on my mouse, and I'm certainly not the one that anybody wants to take advice from because i'm not one of those top players but if you have a mouse i swear yeah but if you have a mouse with a couple buttons on it throw lean on those buttons so that you've got so that you've got

lean all over here on this hand you're not having to do anything with your left hand you can really really depends how good you are right with mouse and keyboards uh or how comfortable you are i should say because i can well i can go crouch up and down while leaning around the corner and then still land my shots right yeah i can do that because i have it on my mouse but if i left it with uh i think it was q and e maybe was leaning before i couldn't do it then because like it then because I don't have a ton of first person shooter experience. This is the first person shooter on the PC that I've spent the most

time doing. I've got God, I don't even know how much Call of Duty experience on the Xbox. It's hundreds of days of thousands and thousands of hours. So I've got game knowledge and I've got strategy knowledge but I didn't have the muscle memory that I needed for uh for first person shooters but i'm i've been improving and it's the best game i've ever played i have a question here's the deal so in cod something i do have

some game knowledge in it's really not smart to shoot at people you can't kill right all you do is give up your position and now you're kind of fucked for a few seconds. In PUBG, I see people shooting at 300 meters all the time. And they get a hit on them. The guy goes back, bandages, comes back into the match. And I'm like, why do you even engage at that distance? It's pretty hard to get a kill. So when I'm playing, and quick disclaimer, I've played on pro level with pros. I just hit up a few pros and we won like 10 games.

And then before I knew it, I was like ranked 200 in the world, which is super annoying because the guys are way too good over there. But pretty much the way you play is if you see somebody and you think you can kill them, you start shooting at them, right? But then there are different factors, like is he outside of the play zone or is he getting close to being outside of the play zone? Then you could land two bullets on him

or maybe even one in the play zone will kill him because he's going to hide behind a shed, try to heal up, and then he's going to die to the play zone. Do you get the kill? No, but you play to win the game and no no but you you went you play to win the game right uh if you have a silencer you can pretty much take shots at anybody as long as you don't have a really loud sniper rifle uh because like they're not gonna know they're gonna

have no clue where it came from and most of the time if somebody is like let's say 300 400 meters away with the uh with the silenced gun and a scope it's actually really good to shoot at them because what they do is they start panicking right so you land like one shot on them they panic they hide behind a tree or no no no no so either they start zigzagging and then the one at one point in time they stop right they stop and they they hide behind a tree but they won't know where you are right so sometimes they stop behind a tree and you can they're just standing still you aim for the head and two shots in their dead but sometimes they hide behind the tree at you know under on the right side for them and You know, they just got lucky

Placing the tree in between you you guys so what you then do and this is like super handy tip You shoot with your silenced rifle, you shoot bullets at the floor right next to him, and then he thinks, oh shit, he has a clear shot on me from here. Hides on the other side of the tree, and then you got a clear line of sight, and you take him out.

Yeah, you learn that really quickly, because people do it to you. Because when you're getting shot at with a silencer, you're like, ultimate sound door.encer yeah yeah yeah yeah I like ultimate sound door but I have no idea where that shit is coming from I'm like if it's if it's 100 meters away they you don't hear the gun anymore yeah or depends which gun it is right yeah so you get it a few times and and then you're like well you know I should start doing this uh

yeah you're you're just hearing the bullets go by you and so there's really no directionality to that if they hit the floor that's when you start panicking because you're like is he did he miss did he miss on purpose on accident i don't know should i run should i stay yeah i i uh i love that game i maybe i want to play i want to play this Total War Warhammer thing. I really like our real-time strategy games. I had never played one, but I like turn-based. I played a ton. Way too fucking much of Civilization V. Got pretty good at that.

Beat filthy robot. Beat him, motherfucker. I did. I was there. It was livestreamed. Yeah, we all saw it. I'm glad that you enjoy RTS so much. Because a lot of people don't enjoy those games, and I don't get it. They're bad at it. That's why.

It's the best kind of game. I love RTS, but it just takes so much time, some games. Like Civ, I played a little bit of Civ, but nowhere near the hours you guys put in or whatever. I've made the comparison before. Like, being a master at Civ... If I had devoted the time I put into getting good at Civ V into learning French, I would be able to speak French.

If I had put that time into learning the guitar, I'd play the guitar. That's what I did with my League of Legends addiction. I said, you know what, I should stop playing this game and maybe I should focus more on making videos. And that turned out pretty well. Yeah, panned out. The reason I'm so stuck, or at least part of the reason, other than the fact I just think that RTS is more fun,

I suck so hard at games like PUBG or any first-person thing on a computer, because I've never used WASD before. When I was playing with Kyle and Chiz, I'd be at the corner of a fucking building and turn to shoot, and because I'm just used to typing normally,

my hand would migrate to the home row, and then I'm hitting R and shit, and I'm like, wait, shit like which one how do i run back and you keep your middle finger on on the w at all times and then the rest you can move i know there's a little dot there to tell me to do that but i oh okay you got you got the dots there yes i'm gonna be honest and maybe this is a new move i put my hands on the home road keys and i just learned it that way like like i i use I use my ring finger goes to W. I can move around fine.

I can shuffle and crouch. And if there's some buttons that I can't hit, like if control is necessary or something like that, I just remap it. That's the beauty of a keyboard in a PC game. You can just move everything around. I know that's not what you're supposed to do or whatever, but why the fuck not? I think it's a challenge when playing new

games to also master the keys. Like, the... You know, like, sometimes F is open inventory, and the other day it's E, and the other day it's tab. But that's... You know, it makes it more rewarding

mastering the game. If, uh... Like, I never watched a lot of StarCraft, and I'm sure it's true in StarCraft as much as it is in Company of Heroes 2, but I've been watching this guy called Helping Hans. I guess his real life name is Hans. We're helping, we didn't know.

Yeah. His clicks per minute, I would love to know what they are, because he's all over the mini, he's quick moving around the mini map and hitting hotkeys so fast that I want to learn from him so that's no fun i was watching one of those videos earlier the helping hans and like i i dumped out of it after like eight minutes because i'm like i'm not even able to learn anything because like he'd select all his conscripts and then click and it's like where where are they where are they going what for what reason but we're not here

anymore we've already made three other moves and now he's looking at a cap point like that was like the foundation of my channel. When I first started, one of the ideas I had in terms of where it was going to go was, I can't do what Xcal does. Somehow that guy just ran. He sprinted all the time and killed everyone he saw. And I'm like, well, there has to be another way

to succeed at this game. Because, yeah. Some people do shit you can't do. It's not a play style that everyone can emulate. He's Asian. That's it. That's true. So you're saying he's sneaky? No, I'm saying Did you say Asians are sneaky?

The Japanese are sneaky. It already happened this show. I forget. Oh, the lady in first class. You said she was sneaky. Well, she was sneaky. I'm telling you. It was like she sidled up on us. The sidler.

He's keeping that alive. That has to be five shows now. It's almost like he's actually racist toward the Japanese. That can't be true. Do we need a topic? I have a bunch of topics if you guys need any.

I wanted to ask you more about your first impressions of Canada. I'm Dutch and I love it in the Netherlands of course, but I'm really enjoying it here in Canada too. Now, I haven't permanently moved here. I'm still working working on a visa i'm just on a long holiday right now

uh and that's how you know how i'm allowed to stay here but i'm not allowed to receive any money from anybody here which i won't anyways or be on television um but it's great like so far the weather has been amazing it's gonna get super cold this winter um so i bought an it's great. So far, the weather has been amazing. It's going to get super cold this winter. So I bought a big Canada goose jacket. So I'm a real Canadian. Everybody so far has been super polite. They are pretty expensive, yes. I was looking at them.

They look really good, though. And they're really warm. The food has been really, really, really good. And it's super cheap because it's Canadian dollars and I come from euros. But then the difference in culture is you do have to tip here, right? Just like in most of North America, which you don't do in the Netherlands. Now, is that because the price is built into the food and the waiters make more as a base salary or is it because you're assholes uh no so as a waiter

it's just generally uh it tends to be a pretty shit paid job um and but it's an asshole right no no no well you'll get minimum minimum wage which is a little bit higher than here but i used to be a waiter and i used to get absolutely nothing and at some nights i would make like a 10 euro tip and me and my me and my co-worker we had to split it like 10 euros right and then we made we made one we wrote down one uh order wrong so they made like a pizza the wrong way or whatever and then the pizza guy came over because it was like a italian restaurant he came over he's like and i'll take five euros from that 10 euros for that pizza you guys wasted and i'm like oh great okay and then um

my entire tip would be spent on public transport back home. So it was a pretty shit job. These are the costs of socialism. This is what happens. These poor waiters, not able to even eat a pizza in peace, you know, that's why they're trying to come here. You should have got the pizza. So in the United States, I don't know if you've ever seen Reservoir Dogs. Money, money, money.

Yeah, I don't know if you've ever seen Reservoir Dogs. Money, money, money. Yeah, I don't know if you've ever seen Reservoir Dogs. They have this whole conversation in the opening scene sitting around the table where Steve Buscemi is talking to the Harvey Keitel about the tipping and everything. And he's like, waitressing is the one job that a non-college educated woman can get and support a family on. Like, these ladies depend on these tips. And that's ingrained in us. My dad tips well, and I guess I got it from him. It feels better to give

than to receive, in most things in life, if I'm being completely honest. It really does. And I tip well. Do you include the tax in your 20%? Yeah, just whatever the total is, usually 20. I tip 20. The total is usually 20. I tip based on the service.

If it's, let's say it's excellent service, I might give 100% tip. Like, if it's excellent top tier service, if she's like, if that glass never ever got below, like my Coca-Cola, never got below the ice, come on. If she was out there really quick with the appetizers,

if the appetizer was there like 7- minutes after i ordered it and the main course came out steaming and i could tell she was like like if they've got hustle about them like if they're moving quickly and they're focused and they're not just like dilly-dallying around being a cunt like i i really take that to heart that's not even good service to me i don't know you want the hand job right well of course but no it's too much service i don't want that. You want the hand job, right? Well, of course. But no, it's too much service. I don't want that. Like if you're out there fucking refilling my soda every time I take a sip, I'd rather have the piece. That's negative.

I agree. I agree. There's a zone. There's a buffer zone that that soda needs to get to before you show up, right? It's like, oh, you took a sip. Here, let me refill that. Here's one thing I like. New glass.

Because every time they refill it, they fill it again with ice. So now the thing has, if it were a straw, two seconds of sucking, and you're just down to an ice glass. And that's not what I'm looking for. You know what I never tip as much for is when I go to Asian restaurants, and I ask for a Diet Dr. Pepper, and they go, oh, we don't have that. And it's like, I didn't fucking expect you to. Thought I'd ask, though. And then you they go, oh, we don't have that. And it's like, I didn't fucking expect you to thought I'd ask though. And then you go, all right, well then diet Coke. And then they bring out your three 50 diet Coke in a can next to a fucking glass full of ice. I hate getting soda from a can at a restaurant because it's like their way of saying

this is $3 and fifty cents a pop like that's their little workaround for free refills and that drives me crazy this is america this is not france where they charge you for still water in one of those mason jars that they set out or whatever the hell they do over there i've never been i'm making assumptions based on netflix yeah i think they are don't. Don't they serve you still water in one of those big goofy glasses with the cork on top that you pull the lever? Yeah, it just means no.

In Europe, apparently, you specify between still water and sparkling water. Which is something I like here. I always think of that as a really nice restaurant when you can get sparkling water. Fun fact, in Germany, if you ask for water, they always give you sparkling water. So in Germany, you have to be very specific and always say, could I have a still water, please?

But then in most other countries, they give you still water. But then there's a difference between tap water and bottled water too. And in most countries in Europe, you can drink tap water and it's totally fine and super clean uh but then you don't want to drink it in spain for example when i was in europe they did this i'm sorry kyle and i and i appreciated it they detected that i was american and gave me what i wanted hey can i have a water sure he wants regular water with ice in it because obviously he's fucking american and That's what I would get. No, no, actually this man wants L.E.A.

Yeah, that was my experience. You know why they did that? Because they knew that if they treated you well, you were probably going to jump in your old habits and give them a 20% tip. And giving somebody, like tipping in Europe, most countries in Europe, you round up the number. So if it's 49 euros, you make it 50, right? You say, ah, make it 50. But if somebody receives like a 10, 20 euro tip, they'll ask you to be like, you sure you were supposed to do this on purpose? You did this on purpose?

So most likely, Hoodie was like, oh, you know, I'll get this lobster, and I'll get this and that and a beer and some Coke and this. And the bill's like 100 euros. I'll put 20%, 30% on top, right? And these guys, that's like the money they make their entire day. That's like you just have to make it. They probably like me. I ordered expensive shit too.

It was like, you know, really? Chocolate covered strawberry is $6? I do want to see if the French ones are different though. So, you know, I bring it on. Strawberries. If you're at a nice restaurant, which is something that I don't do very

often, like if I go to Morton's or something like that, which isn't a super nice restaurant, but I think it's a nice restaurant. It is in my little repertoire. The water is the only thing I won't splurge on. I do not want that third, I don't know what it costs for a bottle of Pellegrino at Morton's, but it's like $18, I want to say. It's like $18 for that big bottle of water. Absolutely not. No, I want tap water and I want Coca-Cola's in a bottle and just keep the Coca-Cola's in the bottle coming Like I don't care what they cost like I'll splurge on those if you have oysters

Alright three dollars an oyster like keep those coming. I'll take a dozen of those but no way in hell I'm fucking spending money on that bottled water like I that I don't even like water I don't drink water Taylor and I were talking about this the other night He's like do you really not drink water? water. Taylor and I were talking about this the other night. He's like, do you really not drink water? I'm like, dude, I could count the glasses of water I've had in the last five years on...

It's less than 25. I've drank maybe 25 bottles of water in the last five years. No water. All soda. I drink a dozen sodas a day. Every fucking day. Diet or not hat what

is that almost always diet usually diet Pepsi dr. pepper 10 diet dr. pepper never diet coke cuz that's disgusting guys come on and guys it's singular and lately it's it's regular coke or regular Dr. Pepper or regular Sprite because I'm trying to gain weight. I'm up to 165 pounds now. I'm also on the weight gain diet. Let me tell you what I eat at McDonald's. This will fucking help you. Like, as soon as I started my McDonald's diet, I started gaining about a quarter pound, third of a pound a day or something like that.

I go to McDonald's. I get the sriracha burger combo. It's a quarter pounder with sriracha sauce, these little fried onions, spinach, tomato, and melted American cheese. It's actually really fucking good. Large order of fries, large sweet tea. God knows how many calories that is. But I'm not done yet. I do what fat, obese people do, and I order two combos.

I also want the Sriracha buttermilk chicken combo. I want them both. I want a burger. I want a chicken sandwich. Two large fries and two sweet teas. One of the teas goes in the fridge until I finish this one off and I drink them back to back. It's at least 3,000 calories. It just has to be.

I want to meet the 40-year-old version of you guys and find out if that is still true. Okay, I'm just trying to get to my weight and then I'm cutting everything. What are you doing to gain weight, Queb? I'm converting it into pounds because that's what you guys do. I started because I had a pretty shitty year i started at 140 pounds pretty light and my goal was 165 which i'm pretty sure i just hit

and what i did was i got a personal trainer hit the gym three times uh or sometimes more per week so i got the i got the muscles there it is um how tall are you i'm uh i'm six one so uh i was uh i was i was just scared that like 140 is really thin yeah that's very yeah yeah well you know i had a pretty shitty time uh earlier this year and um i was afraid obviously i was like well if i get sick now you know i'll be considered underweight because I was just on the edge of being considered underweight. So I looked at like, what would my ideal weight be? Um, which was 165. Um, and then I went to a personal trainer. I said, you know, like exercising, I know how to do, but what I need help with is my diet because I have an extremely fast metabolism.

But what I need help with is my diet because I have an extremely fast metabolism. So I started off with like 3,000 calories a day, loads of healthy food. And then he said, well, you know, you're not gaining weight after like a month or so. So then he said, well, we'll up it to 3,500. I said, you know what, let's just make it 4,000 calories per day. 12,000 I said you know what let's do just make it 4,000 calories per day So so he so he was like well sometimes if you can't hit it you can literally eat whatever you want because we're just gonna Try to get you to like 170 ish or maybe a little bit higher and then I would start losing weight and just going

Leaning lean diet or whatever and so i got a little little bit of a really really nothing and no baby belly um but uh i got a lot stronger my arms got bigger my shirt size um went from medium to large and uh and hopefully soon i'm gonna start cutting my diet and um trying to lose fat and just keep the muscle. I made a video earlier this week about my broken leg, and in it I was showing people how I walked because there's a limp, but it's pretty subtle now, and I felt like it was hard to explain.

And some guy gave me this kind of a mean comment, but it was the greatest. He said something close to like, fuck you, Woody. I know the only reason you did the whole walking thing was to show off your weight loss. And it's like that's the nicest thing that you could have hated. Like it was – I really liked it. That's a nice thing to say. Yeah.

Right? Well, I took it. I was pretty positive about it because my um yeah so my my weight's 198 i think i gained a pound and it's still there but my activity level is picking up quite a bit so i'm hoping that i can get back on the lost train and i was really hoping i was really hoping you were going to get the gun cane like like you were looking at canes online and uh you know get one that's that's a fucking gun or or a stun gun because those are much i was looking at the sword ones oh yes yeah sword cane i flew through the like partial weight bearing thing in like seven days or something like it

didn't make sense style baby come on you could just fucking rock that thing spin it around it's an accessory. All of a sudden, you're a cane man. You got three or four of them. You got a fancy cane. You got a day-to-day cane. You got a night out on the town cane. You could get into it.

I could see liking a cane. Before too long, he's going to be a no-cane kind of guy. No, no, no, no. I am a no-cane kind of guy. I want canes to make a comeback. But whenever I watch a western i'm like i remember like like maybe i've said this before but like my grandmother uh i remember watching tombstone with her i don't think i'd been out for very long i was probably like seven or eight years old and she was she loved those dusters that they wear in tombs that she's like those are gonna be those

are gonna come back those are gonna be the style and then columbine happened no more nope now you can't wear a duster without looking like a mass they did ruin the duster they ruined it there was a gap in there like lost boys brought the duster back and people were wearing them back in my day then columbine happens and it's if i think i've got my timing right uh i was gonna say something what other fashion things have have been destroyed by like... Oh, the short mustache. A serial rapist. The short mustache?

You can't do that. Who wore parachute pants or something like in 1989. That Hitler stache. Like a Bill Cosby sweater kind of throw me off if I see one now. I've got to be honest. Fedoras. That's a good one, Chiz. But when have they been in style?

Because I don't think those have ever been in in my lifetime. I just see people who wear them and then everybody who's not them is like, you look like a douche. All the cool kids wear paper boy hats. How's the research going, detective? You know, is it going well? Sleuthing about?

I don't like it. I don't know if one of their fashion things have been ruined, but the Duster is definitely one of them. And then look, the Duster looks cool as shit. I don't know if other fashion things have been ruined, but the duster is definitely one of them. And look, the duster looks cool as shit, I think. Like Keanu Reeves, that thing he's wearing, I don't know if it's technically a duster or whatever, but that long trench coat thing he's got going on, that's a sick look.

I wish everyone dressed like the people in The Matrix. I wish that was the style. I wish we all dressed like that all the time. Like, just all black, really slick. The black guys styled up a little gator like Lawrence Fishburne did. That was a cool look. We were talking about canes. And, of course, this is a lifetime ago.

But when I went to my prom, all the black people had canes with their tuxes. And it was like, can we do that? Like, this was before appropriating culture was even a thing. I don't know, but it was like, man, those guys have canes? Like, that seems really cool. It's even a dance accessory. You know, you can work it into fucking random dances. I don't know.

On the wrist and all that. Yeah, yeah. I start tap dancing with my cane but uh yeah no white guys never really got the cane thing and they wore top hats but but the tuxes were never black or white like that wasn't a thing they were all maybe white there but there were a lot of pastels back in the day yeah pastel blue pastel purple with canes and hats that were also pastel blue and purple. Pastels are in style for men's shorts. I don't have any because every time I've gone in, I'm not very ballsy with my fashion choices.

And so I'll go into Nordstrom or whatever, and you find the lady who helps you. And she's like, oh, this pair of shorts would look great on you. And it's like, oh, really? This $280 pair of shorts fuck off find me the one looks exactly the same you know and they bring you the little shorty short things and I look I look like like a bond who was trying out for bond but never made it in those shorts like on the beach like my I got their hairy thighs that are just white as the driven snow.

And it's just a bad look, that pink pastel. Yeah. I don't know. And I consider it the frat boy look because everybody I knew in fraternities in college wore their Brooks Brothers shirt, collared shirt, and then their pastel salmon shorts or their pastel green or whatever. And it can look good on some people. You're too old for that now. That's something that you have aged past, that look. No, let me tell you how to do the old thing.

You just wait until it's like four years out of fashion and then rock it every day. Nailed it. That's what I do. Speaking of that, did you get your stuff from Stitch, Taylor? Not yet. Oh, man, I love this shit. They sent me all these dress shirts and these jeans. I really love

all the shit I got. They're a sponsor that I guess is coming on in a couple weeks. There's no reason to go on and on about it, but they're fucking excellent. It's one of those box services that sends you clothes. But wait until we have a coupon code so we get credit, people. Yeah, I'll be sure to make you guys happy with that coupon code.

Yeah, man. It's definitely the way to go. I'll go shopping. I'm really happy with everything I got. If we're not stuck on canes for too long, I wanted to double back real quick about your workout, Queb. What are you doing to muscle?

So I normally on average go, I would say go four times a week on average so sometimes it's like a five times sometimes there are three times right and I work out four different muscle groups so let's say day number one is legs day number two is chest and then we go back and then we got arms um and and during uh at the end of these exercises i would do a core training um which isn't abs for everybody it's core okay this is different um and i would um most of the time what the one i prefer doing is uh just the heaviest weights i could do and

then eight eight reps max if i can do heavier than eight uh let's say you know just the usual bicep curls whatever uh if i can do eight and i feel like i could do a nine then i up the weight right um and the the the lowest amount of reps i do is six and then you do three to four sets sometimes I do what's it called hyper sets or whatever supersets supersets supersets right so you go you go you first do the biceps and and everything from holding this weight here and then doing this one and then holding this way there and that one whatever and then straightaway you switch to the to the triceps and then rest and then you do that a few times but the ones I don't like are the ones where you're like in a machine and you

push it and then you just gotta hold it hold it hold it until your arms like slowly collapse and you're like oh great and then your workout buddy or your trainer pulls it up again and you're like, oh, great. And then your workout buddy or your trainer pulls it up again and then you're like, okay, trying to hold it, hold it, hold it. And then everything from deadlifting to bench press to squatting, pull-ups, planking. Does he have you on supplements? Nice. No supplements. I'm lactose intolerant so most of these these supplements uh they just fuck my body up so um what i what i have is i have some

just pure beef protein um well you don't want the beef meat on there what you want absolutely is bone broth it has zero percent whey casein protein none of that you can drink up to 60 ounces of it a day i drink 70 because i'm different and i'm red but i couldn't give a better piece of advice to you than to get involved in bone broth invest heavily in it yeah or cricket protein that's a real thing you can order it online for way too much money yeah well i mean the thing about cricket protein is it's so low impact on the environment, right? Like, there's, who cares about grinding a bunch of crickets up? First of all, it's cruelty-free.

There's plenty of protein in there, and it's a very renewable source of protein, you know? You're not getting it from a real animal. Like, bugs suck anyway, so why not eat them? Sometimes these crickets, they get them from like swarms that fly over fields and then they ruin the crops, you know. Okay. I thought you were going to say something terrible, but I didn't know about the cricket protein.

No, no, man, I can't remember last time. Sometimes they spray the crickets in DDT and they get it from Thailand. You get Thai crickets. I had crickets in my guac the other day here in Toronto and they get it from Thailand. You get Thai crickets. I had crickets in my guac the other day here in Toronto which was actually pretty delicious. Have you had poutine yet?

I can't because I have a dairy allergy. Don't worry because any Canadians listening to this, suck a cock with your poutine. That's the stupidest, most overrated regional country-based dish ever. I'm not going to entirely disagree with you here, but it's a bit out of line to be this aggressive about it.

Look, we got apple pie, hamburgers and hot dogs and shit. Whatever is American is delicious. All of it is. That shit is so disgusting. Like, first, I love French fries. It might be my second favorite food in the world. The fries here are shit. Let me just say that. Disgusting like first. I love french fries prop might be my second favorite food in the world the fries air shit Let me just say that I want good fries come to the netherlands or belgium

And and even even north of france that's where you get the best right trust me cheese curds and gravy on french fries That's the stupidest thing ever put some ketchup and some salt on there Maybe some I could even go with some wish ashore sauce or some uh some molten uh some malt vinegar like i'll dip them in mayonnaise before i don't like any any delic any like quote delicacy or like regional food where you can tell that it was just someone panicking adding more and more ingredients like uh what what's that thing that's really popular in the u.s a price price well do. Throw fucking cheese on it and gravy and just make it look gross

and sometimes put a big heaping spoonful of chili on top. Just make it so that within three seconds of handing it to the patron of your establishment, it's become a congealed mass. It's like a tumor. Like a rabbit. I'm on the clock to eat it. That's why I don't eat Rice Krispie

treats. Because Rice Krispie treats are soggy the instant they touch liquid. The instant. They soak it up right away. I really like homemade Rice Krispie treats. Rice Krispie treats, you should be able to taste the butter. If you can't taste the butter, they're not made right. I fucking love Rice Krispie treats.

I can eat so many unhealthy amounts of Rice Krispie treats. Like, you know, you make the whole dish, and I'll eat three quarters of that dish in one sitting. I'll just keep going back and cutting another square, and it's like, why didn't I just take the whole thing? That seems like something they could mix drugs into. Do people

do that? Yeah. Poutine is like, I don't like any foods, and it's probably just trying, like being a contrarian cunt, as I am one to do but like any food that the internet throws a big shit fit over and it's like oh my god poutine it's so good oh my god have you had fresh guacamole before have you had fresh guacamole or shit like that it's like no it's not it's not that good do you do that with bacon no you know what it i actually

for a little while got turned off of bacon even though it is a great food. It compliments a lot of things, but you couldn't go on the internet without a bunch of people being like, oh, I wish, you know, my five food groups were bacon. I'm like, then you probably smell bad and have a sad, sad life. And dirty, dirty shits. Dirty, feisty shits.

Like, you... I've had times in my life where I was eating way too much bacon. I went to the butcher and it was on sale. And I was like, well, I'll just eat bacon sandwiches this week. I love that. And I ate like, one day I ate like four bacon sandwiches. And a bacon sandwich is two pieces of bread slathered in mayonnaise and at least six strips of bacon.

Like, it's heaping on there. When I bite it, I have to rip the bite away from the sandwich. I'm not making a BLT. I'm making a bacon sandwich. No, I don't be cutting some fruit up and throwing it on there. I don't want lettuce on there. I'll have a salad. I'm out for a

bacon sandwich. Let me tell you why. You eat four or five bacon sandwiches during the day and then you stay up until three in the morning and you have one more at 2 2 30 a.m that shit the next day is so like like i fart in bed like before i wake up and it's you know sometimes you piss you have to pee really bad and that's what rouses you from from your bed in the morning no the fart was so bad that i was like let's just start the day i can't stay in this room anymore. I can't stay in this room anymore with a stench.

And the shit was so bad, and there was so much of it, that it was above the water level. And when your shit goes above the water level of the toilet, that's the most repugnant shit. Like it was an iceberg. You know, 90% of that shit is under the water. And yet, the part above was huge. It was like there was a little bag, like a bagel-sized island in the middle of the toilet. And they're not turds. Like, there's just a deposit of feces piled up like soft serve ice cream down there.

Oh, my God. The stench was so bad, I had to flush three times. I haven't had bad food since like April, but if I do indulge in something, it'll be almonds. Like I'll have like a bowl of almonds or something. That's not bad. I can't wait till tomorrow.

But the poops, they're a whole other thing. It'll go above the water. There wasn't even this voluminous on its way down. It's like, is this some sort of refractory trick with the surface of the water? Yeah. Yeah.

It just becomes like almond little masticated bits that are bigger. Yeah. Pulls off quite the magic trick inside. Have you ever to the farting in bed comment, Pulls off quite the magic trick inside. Have you ever, to the farting in bed comment, have you ever farted in bed so bad after a meat-heavy weekend or something with lots of barbecues,

and it's such a rank fart that you're like, I'm going to have to clean my sheets just because the smell must have permeated. It must have made it into the fibers somehow. There's obviously nothing there because you didn't shit the bed, but then the next day you'll smell your blanket fibers somehow and like like there's obviously nothing there because you didn't shit the bed but then like the next day you'll like smell your blanket and you're like something's funky i'm getting this yeah it's like a kartman burger where he crams

that in his pants and he fills it with you know all the fast food farts oh god yes yeah i i just i have suspected that my farts have permeated the sheets in the bedding and and like preemptively washed but i feel like if if you've had like six bacon sandwiches and you've been destroying your bed all night long you get used to the smell and you almost can't detect it anymore so I'll just I'll be like ah there's a girl coming over tomorrow but I I need to watch this bedding I need to watch this bedding I bet this room smells like mustard gas like like like just just just soured brown mustard that's what it smells like it smells like mustard gas. Like just soured brown mustard.

That's what it smells like. It smells like rotten dead mice and soured milk. Oh, that's the worst smell. I had this terrible smell in my bedroom, and I'm looking for it. I'm like, I think something died in my room. Or something died in the wall. I can't find it. And what it was was I had had Oreos and milk one night,

and there was like an inch of milk left over in the cup, and I had put it out of sight on a shelf. I had just reached into the night, I had put it on an entertainment center on a lower shelf, and it was obscured by some shit that was in the way, and this milk had been in this cup for at least two weeks.

And it was disgusting. Solid? No. it had grown mold it was like there was like blue and green mold all over the top of it moving it was it was moving i i gave it a name and i can't i i couldn't clean the in the glass i felt like a baby yeah i created a life form i i it's no it smelled so fucking bad, though. If you ever want to... I was such a douchebag in middle school. They made these stink bombs at the fireworks store,

but I wasn't allowed to have them. Can't imagine why. And so I was like, I'll make my own stink bomb. We're going to get these people. We're going to play a little prank. Because I watched too much of The Simpsons, and I was like, oh, I'm Bart.

That's me. That's me. Cool, cool man i thought i was bart simpson for some fucking reason without the skateboard and i was like i like to prank people so i took a ziploc baggie at home and i threw like stinky stuff in it right like cracking eggs in it pouring a little milk in it i don't remember what else i really don't but i remember there was milk and eggs in it sealed that bitch up and then i hid it behind the bleachers at school and let it sit there for a week and then i went back there and opened it up and like left it under the bleachers just to just to ruin everyone's day just to ruin everyone's day just to just and it it did what an asshole you are yeah yeah i was i absolutely was i'll mess up yep that that story reminds me i'd totally forgotten about this this is from god i must

have been 13 or 14 and so my youngest brother was you know five or i don't know around there young like first grade age whatever that is probably and i had one of those beds where you know like a big bed frame behind us it's got a big mirror up there. It's got a shelf on top, you know, and your mattress on the bottom. It had cabinets on the side, you know, like basically a bed with armoires on both sides, you know. And the bed was up there, but it wasn't like stuck into it. You know, if you pulled back on the mattress,

there was a little culvert there where there's a space underneath because obviously the bed itself had a cutout for it. And you didn't put anything there because you couldn't reach it it was just part of part of the bed and my youngest brother and his friend were goofing around and of course they want to play with the older kids and so they uh uh we tell them all right yeah we're gonna play like prison and you're gonna get in that back culvert area of my bed and you have to be prisoners you know and it's like and of course you know little kids just like okay i'll do whatever like i just want to be a part of the team and so we put them in there and and like uh rewind uh like eight months and it was me and my friends and we did this like fight club thing where we'd like wrestle

on mattresses and like just no like punching in the face or anything, just for fun. One of my friends had this water bottle, an empty one with a big opening, and he farted in it and then held it up to another guy's face to make him breathe it. And the guy's like, oh, Jesus, fuck! What the hell is wrong with you? And so we're like, that's hilarious.

Anybody who has to fart for the next ever, this is the fart bottle. You fart in this bottle and you quickly seal it and it's got you know unbelievably bad smells in it and so we we were you know we fast forward back to that my brother and his friend were underneath that that place and within 10 minutes they're like it's so dark in here i don't like this game there's nothing to do and we're like sorry that's prison that's the game of prison you can't get out and so they're like just let us out let us out taylor and uh my friends and i were like yeah we should let him out

and then and then my buddy my buddy tyler was like no no no for them to get out they have to take a whiff of the stink can so he went in the other room, he grabbed this stink bottle, and then forced them to put their noses up in the crevice. And it was just like a... Because it had been festering, you know? Like a piece-of-tooth situation where life had begun on its own. And then we felt guilty about it because we didn't let him out right away, we made him do it again. But then after that, we did let him out. And, you know, I think it probably built some character.

Did you ever have to build character? No, because you were the oldest brother. You have no fucking character. I don't know. You're just a character builder. The thing it comes from is you get berated by the parents. Like shit that I did that I got berated and freaked out on for when my youngest brother came through it was just nothing like just go out do whatever you want

we're exhausted you know like the they've worn us out so you get to get carte blanche so uh i was always jealous of that that's one definite advantage that younger siblings have is they can get away with murder in comparison man i'm glad i'd have brothers like if there'd been more than one of me like like we'd have fucked some shit up we'd have done something one was too much everyone agreed that one was too much like my grand and my grandma's house like when you go over christmas the christmas ornament started at about three and a half feet up the tree. The bottom of the tree could not be decorated because Kyle would come along and whack. Just whack those shiny balls off of it. The alternate universe where you and a brother team up on shit is hilarious.

Bad things happen. Yeah, all of the coffee tables, they couldn't have anything on them. You couldn't have anything on the end tables in the living room. Because I would just fucking smash it. Like, I don't know. That's a Great Dane thing, too. I like to piss. I like to piss on people. I swear, they always tell me the stories about, yeah, you came along.

And, like, my dad was with one of the sheriff's deputies here. Like, they're really good friends. They grew up together, and they were shooting skeet. And I guess I wanted attention because I went, and this is like three-and-a-half, four-year-old me. I found the biggest rock I could find. I don't remember this, by the way. At least I don't think I do. It's one of those things where, like, people told me about it so much that I have a visual of it, but I don't think I actually remember it.

I came along with the biggest rock four-year-old me could carry and smashed the cop's foot and broke his fucking foot while he was shooting. For no reason! For no reason that I can possibly imagine. Because you wouldn't get attention. Another time, while the guy was not looking, and apparently this is something that I would often do, if there was an adult not paying attention and not looking at me,

I'd piss on their leg. I'd just piss on them. I'd fucking piss on them. How old are you? Like three and a half, four years old. And the kink was born. A month and a half ago. That was last year, man.

I'm into it. We're going to say golden showers for everybody. Whether you like it or not. I had a coon skin cap. So I was always wearing my coon skin cap. Had my Red Rider lever action BB gun. And I was a fucking menace to society. I remember, like, now

this one I remember. I was in the yard shooting at crows or whatever. I'm four. And my dad is working on his truck. He had, like, an f-150 i want to say it was the 80s it was an 80s model anyway i was i would it would have been 1990 when this happened and i remember the hood was up he was under the hood and i was on the passenger side of this thing about 40 yards away and you know four-year-old brain pow shoot the window right out of the fucking truck.

Just shoot the fucking window right out. It shatters. Dad's like, what have you done? And starts chasing me. And I just run in the house and, like, dive in the, they had a water bed. And, like, behind the base of the bed and kind of under the headboard, there was a cubby space that was only big enough for a four-year-old to get into and I was in there and and he's like reaching in the hole get at me and I'm just like backing up Jurassic Park yes big paws coming in trying to grab me look why did you do that why I don't know! I didn't mean to! My mom's like, what did he do now? He shut the window

out of my fucking truck! I mean, when I was that young playing with BB guns, there was an adult nearby. At least to make sure I didn't shoot people or windows for fun. I mean, he was there. What was he gonna... He wasn't watching Neo from the Matrix

He was not really paying attention to you See the point is you don't need to be Neo from the Matrix You're there practically also holding the gun Cause you're four And you make bad decisions I on the other hand didn't start shooting until I was like 30 something And I'm here like I wonder if my mom wouldn't let me

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Oh, nice. Thank God we got rid of that racially ambiguous gentleman and that large-headed fellow that's always yucking it up now we can get down to some white power topics do you think he's bringing something for the show i bet it or is it for his girl he got himself some delivery food probably yeah that's that's definitely delivery food i thought he had props back there, and he was going to return with giant red dildos or something. Oh, no, the dildo's still in Amsterdam. I got so hungry after us talking about McDonald's. I had to try the double McDonald's menu you were talking about.

I tweaked it a little bit. No Coke for me because I'm going to go to bed after this. And obviously a dairy-free option. But yeah, sorry. I've never had luck with those food delivery services. 100% of the time, it's not in my area. And I try them all.

There's like three. Grubhub, something and something. Yeah, Hostmates. Do you know the other one I'm thinking of that I can't remember eats is what i use that one i don't know about door dash that's the one door dash yes door dash yeah just eat i tried them here there was nothing available when i was in like the lake tahoe area with the broken leg it's really hard to get food only pizza yeah that's lame man like cheers really opened my eyes like i've been using grubhub for

a while does it work where you are not where i am but when i travel so when i travel like my life experience is so much different because first of all there's cable television which i i until i until the advent of sling tv there were so many channels that i didn't get anymore channels that i hadn't watched since i was a kid at my parents' house because they had satellite and that included Fox News and CNN and I don't know, TV Land, the Outdoor Network, all that bullshit. I had been like a Netflix streaming device guy for

a coon's age, as they say. And so when I would travel, it's like, ah, this is great. Chinese food and CNN, the best of everything. I really liked going into that hotel and doing it. Watching that fake news. Watching the fake, it is fake news.

They have been setting up so many stories and misleading so often. Like, I wish someone would sit down and make a list of the real, absolute fake news that they do. And I'm not talking about when they just skew something or they give you two statistics that don't match up like I'm talking about actual when they set scenes up and they like fake camera angles and pretend they're in a place they're not which isn't that bad but you're lying to us outright or and I mentioned it before but when they fake rescued that guy back in the hurricane and in Texas like there was the other night Chiz was telling me that they or maybe I read it online. It was something about gun

violence. I don't remember exactly what it was, but they provided two statistics. One of them was there were 246 mass shootings this year. Then the second one was that in the last 40 years X percentage of

mass shootings have been white people. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why didn't you tell us how many of the mass shootings this year were white people unless you're trying to hide the fact that most of the mass shootings are committed by black people in Chicago? They just didn't want to address

that topic. And I don't think it's a racial issue whatsoever, but they made it a racial issue by avoiding it. By intentionally giving two completely different numbers, one and both of them making it seem like and it is true to some extent,

that it's all white males doing the bad things. Yeah, on climate I see it sometimes. This is not necessarily CNN, but people who are either climate deniers or not climate deniers will be like, oh, the temperature's gone up so much since 1992 like oh i really just grabbed that year out of a hat and you know like yeah since 1979 it's been kind of a yeah yeah you picked one year that was an outlier like early on and made it seem flatter and i see shit um bernie sanders of that last campaign too you, he would talk about how wealth was only going to the top people.

And it's like, yeah, you know, from the years like 2012 to 2015, that happened in this like slow recovery. But not it's not happening now. But yeah, they did. CNN did that. Did the hands up. Don't shoot thing where they were all, you know, holding their hands up at that panel and everything despite the fact that that wasn't what happened with uh the michael brown situation uh but yeah the gun thing kyle you're talking about it's totally true like they'll uh when it's handy

for them they'll say oh all these mass shootings are by you know white males or whatever and there it's like but you just quantified mass shooting is anybody you know more than males or whatever. And there it's like, but you just quantified mass shooting as anybody, you know, more than two who got shot or wounded or whatever. And most of those are gang violence, you know, like, like if anything,

we need to crack down on gang violence because like it's really hard to crack down on premeditated revenge based killings, you know, like if some wife or husband finds out that their partner's cheating and they want to kill him or whatever, like you can't really defend against that, you know? Like, if some wife or husband finds out that their partner's cheating and they want to kill them

or whatever, like, you can't really defend against that, you know? I don't like it being made a racial issue whatsoever. And they're the ones to take the first step into that identity politics game by talking about, oh, it's white men who do these things. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

If you're going to attack white men, which I happen to be one of, unfortunately, I need to do my ancestry DNA because I'm going to be like Randy Marsh. If I've got 2% Native American, 2% Scandinavian, like, I'm fucking switching. I'm fucking switching. What if you find out you're Dutch?

Can you deal with that? Oh, I'll jump right on board. God, I hope and pray that I am like 9% to 12% African American. I mean, 20%. I don't care. As high as possible. I really want some carte blanche to be able to speak my mind freely because I feel like I'm suppressed. So suppressed just because of the color of my skin.

My friends convinced me to get one of those kits to see if – because some say like, oh, Jordy, you must have some black in your family. And I'm like, well, like my great, great, great, great grandma, she was like black. So, you know, do I fall under the category of being white or black? I don't really know. I lived my whole life as a white guy. He's definitely got a little sideshow Bob in him. Right?

But then I've had so many friends that just, you know, so many black friends that, you know, always say, like, oh, what a brother. And then they don't say it to my white, white friends. So I'm like, what do I believe? Can I or can I not say the N-word is always one of the things that pops up, right? Is that a big issue in the Netherlands? No, out of respect, you know. But I'm like curious

because my hair isn't typical white guy which your hair, all of you guys, that's typical white guy hair. Well, you know appearances can be deceiving. I think Woody and I

have a pretty similar thing. We have straight be deceiving. I think Woody and I have a pretty similar thing. Like, we have straight, stiff hair. Like, I think if either of us don't put something in it, it kind of goes straight down. At least mine does. Like a chia pet. It just goes straight from my skull outwards. And I've talked about this before. It's so bad.

Jackie used to cut my hair as, like, a big time saver for me. And you could get it as a splinter through, your feet like it's so hard. Yeah mine goes straight down So if you look at those old videos me, I got the bowl cut. It's fucking not intentional goddammit Like I'd go get a real nice haircut. They style it they do stuff. They thin it out They're using those fancy scissors that aren't even there to like jacket jagged and shit Uh-huh She'd put a little something in it and make it look nice And then walk it in the next day or wash it and it goes straight down into Billy Bob Thornton mode

You know doing the sling blade look for a while Cuz I thought it looked good, but I just didn't know how to use product And then Taylor has some Italian heritage in him So he got a little bit of a greasy look to him. And it curls up a little like a Superman. Dude, my favorite Taylor look ever. And I didn't even pick it up. But he comes on PKA.

He's just a guest at this point. This is before he's on the show. And Kyle is like, Taylor, obviously doing Superman cosplay. Because he went down. And it had the curl. And it was so perfect that like it does that on its own if like i push it up uh-huh keep it from doing that when it gets too long you would not believe like as a man you never get comments on your hair from women unless it's really horrible

because like unless hey unless you're okay you know your hair is this pretty it's really good Most of the time most of the time it's very old lady so go Was it was it Harley and look first of all about Harley's recent appearance i heard because i i don't i don't read a lot of comments i i heard that he got a lot of negativity you have to keep in mind he was playing the devil's advocate trying to keep a lively debate and discussion going i've hung out with harley plenty of times he is not a social justice warrior by any means so come on you need to lighten up with your negativity toward harley on that regard he was he was trying to make for a good topical discussion by representing a side that just isn't present on the show very often all right so that being said yeah yeah what was it about i missed it uh we talked about lots of social uh issues identity politics and the and

the like and one of the things he said was that like one of the things that would be racist for a black person would be to ask to touch their hair or to touch their hair and and i was like no man i i think i would disagree because like i remember the first time that i remember the first time i touched a black person's hair i was fascinated this i was like oh oh it's cool that's that's interesting it closes it closes uh you know right the gap the racism gap more than you know uh it would it would yeah i was in la and uh i won't say who it was but i hooked up with this uh i guess she was i don't know her exact heritage but i think she was like half black and half spanish uh like like yeah like blackish uh she's like half black and half spanish and she had like a little like i don't know how

to describe her hairstyle um kind of like uh uh the black chick from conan and the barbarian she kind of had like this wesley snipes little fro thing going on that was like with like an undershave on the sides and it looked good on her she it just did and i remember like putting my hand into her hair and being like oh that's so nice i really really liked it i yeah it was it was a lot like that but it wasn't a gigantic amazonian looking woman like that it wasn't quite a flat top it was it was more loose and curly and i just remember thinking like i i think i like this better than standard, like, Caucasian lady hair. This is really fun to, like, run your fingers through.

It's like a chia pet up there. This feels nice. A lot of texture. It wasn't greasy at all or anything like that. It was just really, I liked it. I liked it a lot. If you've watched those, like, tribe videos where, like, a white guy shows up in a tribe, like, one of the first things the kids do is touch his white guy hair because it's

different. It's weird. Why is his hair so straight and long and falls down? I don't know. It's interesting. We should celebrate our differences. I'm always interested in those things. If a black person was like, can I touch your hair? I don't think I've ever touched

a white person's hair. I'd be like, well, no, first of all. You're fucking racist. Get the fuck out of here. You want to touch a white guy's hair? Get out of here, you racist. Fucking go for it. Feel it in the back. It's really short back there, and it's all spiky,

and you'd be surprised how stiff it is. And that's when you say, have you ever felt the white guy's pubes do? When I get one of the perfect Superman curls when some days it just happens and it just does that,

I've had many girls comment on that where they're like, that is so cute. Do you do that? It's like, no, it's just the like do you do that it's like no it's just the way just the way my hair looks like it's like a superman thing like that's when you say i did it for you and now that i'm not fat and i'm pretty muscular it looks even better because i can play into the superman thing more you know maybe that'll be my halloween costume i'm just kidding spandex reveal a lot of trash around this midsection.

And that's the illusion. When I was going through my clothes, culling the stuff out, I found the medium, under-armor fitted fucking athletic shirt, and I was like, Jesus Christ, I'm incredibly skinny, but this still doesn't

look good on me. What was I thinking when I purchased this? Like, I've got like two pounds of fat on my body or something I'm pretty like I'm getting close to the six-pack This thing still doesn't look good on me This still is gonna make it look like I'm hiding some Sausages in my and my oh my and my waist or something like that like you can see my belly button like you've got You fucking ripped to wear that shirt. Like the mannequins.

Like a fucking mannequin. You have to be hard bodied. Because, like, you can see my belly button, and there's a little pooch around, and it's like, Jesus, what the fuck? Who wears these and looks good? Like, it takes some dedication to be able to wear, like, your size fitted, under-armor

athletic gear. Like, you've got to be on your wear like your size fitted under armor athletic gear like you got to be on your a game because anyone's between what looks good on your shoulders and your arms and what looks good on your torso it is it it spans a chasm that I cut it off I cut it off right below my chest so it looks a lot better now so I just wear shorts and you can see my whole midriff and short shorts I hope yeah oh I wore the short I pull them down low shorts and you can see my whole midriff short shorts i hope yeah yeah oh i wear the not just short i pull them down low low right you can see my hip bones sticking out it's a real sexy look little ass crack in the back little yeah oh yeah like leon from revenge of

the nerds when i'm losing weight in my torso like the metric i use like i'll look in the mirror and like try and fold my side up you know like get like get that fat look and the more difficult it is because like i'm at a i'm at the place right i i weigh like 196 right now i think 197 and like i don't get a fold when i go like that as hard as i can whereas i did four months ago and so i'm at least losing some around the torso but this is a fucking annoying battle like i wish that i was trying to gain weight. That seems like it would be fun. But of course, grass is always green.

It's not. Yeah, exactly. It is. It absolutely is. It's wonderful. I love it. I do my eating at night. So like, I've been watching Curb Your Enthusiasm lately.

And I'm just binge watching that shit. And I'm just like, ah ah I think I want to eat another bag of Doritos tonight I every night I eat an entire bag of potato chips it's either Doritos or Pringles I finished off a can of Pringles last night the other side of it sucks I'll be up at night thinking I am really fucking hungry right now maybe if I go to sleep I just won't eat and then tomorrow like my reward for going to bed right now is as far as I know 15 minutes from now i get to have breakfast because i'm fucking starving like that that's what it's like on the other side i like i play a trick on myself there because i can go to bed so hungry and when i wake up i will still not want to eat until a little afternoon just because i

don't like eating as soon as i wake up so if i can get myself to bed at a reasonable hour after not eating most of the day it's basically like fasting for a day because i'll wake up. So if I can get myself to bed at a reasonable hour after not eating most of the day, it's basically like fasting for a day because I'll wake up and still be disgusted by the thought of food. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I get that too.

You know, I go to bed hungry and I wake up and what happens more likely than not being hungry is I'll make it to like 10.30 doing whatever, like getting showered, ready for the day and such. And it's like, well, shit, I can go an hour till lunch you know and not have a brain skip a meal yeah i uh when i was maybe i think 13 i was pretty chubby and i remember like i just started fasting like not in a creepy uh like um eating disorder kind of way but like i stopped eating shit and because like because like i think that was the year i was homeschooled and so like hanging out with my dad all day and he's like

ah let's go get some lunch and we'd always go to this like place that was like a country store slash restaurant so you could you could go and get like hot dogs and hamburgers and french fries but then there's literally like a cooler of drinks like you would have in a gas station with ice cream and there's the whole row of candy bars over there and honey buns and stuff and sometimes we'd have lunch and like people we knew from the community would be sitting down and so we might just sit and chat for like two hours and i might eat two candy bars and a hot dog and fries and then like drink two mountain views or something it was outrageous for a 13 year old and so like i know when you're chubby right i had these big fucking chunky cheeks just a ridiculous fucking look awful fucking fat little kid is that the fattest you've ever been that age no like like when whenever we

met for the first time in chicago was the fattest i've ever been i was 225 and uh so the yeah awful yeah and now now i'm 165, just massive swing, right? That's a 60-pound swing. 60 pounds. That's a big swing. And, like, right now I can't imagine being 60 fucking pounds heavier and being healthy or feeling good about myself. But I did.

I got so much pussy at 225. Like, they didn't give a shit. They didn't care. Or if they did, they didn't complain. I don't know like like now i'd be like oh man i hope she doesn't mind that i'm a fat piece of shit maybe i should warn her first that's not how you do tinder apparently no that's not no well that's not how girls do tinder like like girls especially like big titted girls are always just gonna like...

They show you their best attributes, but they'll show up and be a big fat disgusting blob on you out of nowhere. Yeah. And by the way... Oh, sorry. Quick disclaimer. Which is totally fine to be a big girl, but then I would say, you know, I get your point. Don't try to like, no... Like, don't try to hide it and make it come over as would say, you know, I get your point. Don't try to, like, not... Like, don't try to hide it and make it come over as a surprise, you know? Don't give me that body acceptance, silly.

It's a lie by omission. Like, if I put on... Well, actually, it's... Like, this is an overt lie, but if I put on my profile that I was 6'7", and they show up and I'm clearly not 6'7", like, I lied. I fooled them. Like, that's not

an okay thing to do. Oh my god, Chiz, I gotta put this picture on my Tinder. That is great. Is that my face? Did somebody Photoshop that on there? I'm asking you, or is it just... So here, we'll show it. This is from the subreddit. Now, I've talked before, before I show it, how, I don't, like,

it's an area of intelligence that I suck at. Say they do, like, they hack into a celebrity's phone. They got four pictures of her and then, like, a nude. But then a nude actually isn't her. It just looks so much like her. I can never be the guy that knows that. Well, here's a picture they say is Taylor. And I'm like, is that Taylor?

Taylor, is that you? Oh, my fucking God. There's something about you and pattern recognition. Right? That's not me. That is a Christian thing. It is so close to you. It's so clearly not Taylor, though.

I would have bet on not Taylor, but if you told me it was a good shop, I would have bought that. As soon as I saw it, I knew that, and I don't know that particular country music singer, but I knew it wasn't Taylor, but I certainly recognized that that looks a lot like Taylor.

Just to be clear on how dumb I am, I always knew it wasn't his body. I just didn't know if it was a really good shop. And to be clear on how dumb I am, I always knew it wasn't his body. I just didn't know if it was a really good shot. And to add to it, the hard part by his chin and stuff, it's all black, right? So it would have been an easier way to get it perfect. And he's got sunglasses on, so that

covers up a lot. But yeah, this guy definitely has a belly. A much bigger belly than me. He's got a big old dong, too. Look at it running down his leg. What's that about? Holy shit, I didn't notice that, but that's why we shit, I didn't notice that. Yeah, man. That's why we have one gay guy on the show. Yeah. Right to it.

He's got the right focus. Great hat. I like that hat. His upper body is not as strong as Taylor's. I never thought it was his body. And this guy, like Kyle says, has a much bigger penis. But I thought it was Taylor's face. It looks like a Photoshop of my face with just a little like touch of gray just for men added into the beard

But right yeah, that's that's this is even better than monster lapid eat So maybe I'll I'll put this on my tinder that seems like a laugh Well that picture of you playing soccer queb, those are some nice quads you got. Damn right. Thank you, thank you. I've been really been hitting the... You know they always say don't skip leg day. So, I don't know, do you guys do squats?

I can hardly walk. I don't do traditional squats right now. Yeah. No I do good stuff. Well, actually that's not me. What? It's not. That's my lookalike football, professional football player.

I'm so glad you guys fell for it and not just me. We didn't actually fall for it. Oh fuck off you did too. Shut up, you guys did. You guys did. Everyone saw it. Oh boy, oh boy. that was a good one his hair looks a lot like your hair i know i didn't even look at the face that much he has a great great great grandma who's black too i went straight to the quads if i looked at his face

he looks yeah yeah zillion And he's really ugly. Like, Kwebbelkop's much more attractive than this guy. You look nothing like this guy in the face. You have the same hair. There's a lot of pictures of this guy crying. Yeah, he likes to cry when his team loses. You're a much more attractive man than this guy. Like, if I had to pick, like, first of all, that guy's too athletic. He'd really just put a pounding on you, I bet, if you had to do some man-on-man love. So if I

had to pick, I'd definitely pick you because you're much more attractive. And gentler. Sorry, hon, I'm already taken. Well, you know, I mean... Not every night. It works something out. Hockey season started. Okay, okay. Next topic.

Next topic. I have some topics. Dude, next topic I have some topics what do you got okay I don't know did you guys talk about it last week SpaceX no we did SpaceX plan so I'm super I'm super

I love Elon Musk and everything he says I'm always super hyped about it uh but they just announced some some more updated plans regarding um not just going to mars and not just bringing people to mars but also establishing a moon base which is pretty sick um and uh also uh that probably the the coolest thing because i i don't think any of us would actually go to mars in the next 10 years i may maybe one maybe when the trip isn't six months long right um i don't want to visit africa much less mars right you're not gonna visit like the first people aren't visiting they're like they're being sent to a work camp right you know for two years minimum.

These guys are scientists and engineers and Navy test pilots. I don't think we're on the short list. So in 2022, that's the planning they have right now. They would send ships and they would set up

fuel factories over there. And then two years later, they would send loads of people there but pretty much these rockets which are called the bfr which stands for big falcon rocket big fucking rocket actually um that's a joke haha they um obviously are very expensive so you know and you would need a lot of them if you want to fly to fucking, if you want to fly to Mars and bring humans up and down and shit. So Elon Musk, what the plan is from SpaceX is to use those rockets not just to go to the moon, around the moon, to Mars, but to actually go from one place on the Earth to the other side of the Earth. So what would happen is the spaceship would take off, get into orbit,

and in orbit it's going a few thousand kilometers per second, and then within 30 minutes you go from London to New York. I have a question for Quebelkop or Chiz if you want to jump in because I don't pay a lot of attention to SpaceX. I get that their plans are super cool. But barely paying attention, it seems like their accomplishments are always like shit NASA did in the 60s. Oh, yeah.

So here's the question. What are their coolest accomplishments? What are the things that they've done? Because their plans are... Okay, okay. I want to take this one. Okay. So they have actually managed to use a rocket.

Yes. And I believe that the rocket is like three different stages. But pretty much the first stage if that's the correct term i'm not 100 sure the big thing you see which you know goes up and then normally gets uh the expensive one um gets dumped you know um they managed to get that big expensive thing and instead of dumping it in the ocean or burning it up somewhere or just letting it crash, what they managed to do – They landed it. They landed it, and that's a massive accomplishment, right?

You can watch these YouTube – I've seen it. Keep in mind, this thing is like – I know you've seen it land. But what's interesting is like, I'm sure you've seen the videos of the montage of the people saying Trump can't win, and then it ends with Trump winning. There's a montage of people

saying that Elon Musk can't do just this one thing. With Neil deGrasse Tyson, all of these NASA guys, some of the original astronauts. Neil deGrasse Tyson tore himself away from poking holes in, like, water physics and Pocahontas and Disney movies for a minute to talk about science?

You got this big montage of all of these experts and people that are in the field. And Neil Armstrong. Neil Armstrong literally told Elon Musk. They're like, no, you can't do it. You know, you're reinventing the wheel. Like, we already established the way to do this. It's ridiculous what he's doing. He won't be able to do it uh you know you're reinventing the the wheel like like we we already established the way to do this it's ridiculous what he's doing he won't be able to do it he'll fail and then it's just this huge montage like five minutes of that and then it's him doing it and in him and and

like it's that that that to me is the biggest accomplishment that's that's out there and done and and then is anyone else underwhelmed right because hear me out what he says is oh yeah like four and a half years from now we're gonna have a colony on mars we're gonna populate the moon we're gonna do this stuff that is wild and what he's accomplished is landing a rocket which i get is tricky but you know so so pretty much getting to mars is not impossible we've already already done it, we have shit over there. But what SpaceX is doing is the fact to make it a reality is a little bit more tricky, right? And on top of that to actually be able to fund something like this and not spend what the Saturn 5

which just went to the moon was like 2 $2 billion to just launch it, versus this rocket, which is only like $70 to $90 million to launch it. That's a huge difference, right? And by making... Is that the actual cost of it, or is that because of the

subsidies? Here you go. Falcon 9 rocket, $60 million to make and 200,000 to fuel Which is pretty crazy? Thousand sounds way less than you would think for a rock exactly exactly and because rocket fuels is not too expensive But the main part why space travel is so expensive is because they would build this this Well, let's say 60 million dollar vehicle

right and then they would just crash it right after after a 20 or after two three minutes of use they just dump it and it's like bye-bye it'll be true and i'm not saying it won't be and it's a very different time but when i was a kid the whole point of the space shuttle was how cheap it would be to use you know that like oh here's a space shuttle we can land it and then we just take it off again and it's fantastic but it didn't work out like that it turned out the space shuttle launches were all about as expensive as rocket launches yep um well that's because the fuel like he's saying here that like the like the fuel to get the get that thing up because they're losing the vehicles every time you know the space shuttle was maintained unlike the capsules that they were

sending up and uh the re-entry vehicles that we lost all that shit so they were definitely saving money by keeping the same space shuttle but the thing that gets the space shuttle into orbit all those big rockets the multiple stage rockets like yeah now we're not losing those every time so you're saving like 400 million that no jesus christ it's you're saying that the shuttle mission was 400 million to 1.5 billion per launch i don't know i don't know how much of that is the the you know the parts that they were losing but probably probably it's probably just really well staffed you know okay so anyways going back to what woody said uh what that means is the moment it gets

cheaper right and elon musk is working to making a 100 reusable rocket which can get into orbit which is a tricky part which is a whole different challenge because re-entering from orbit you go extremely fast and then you know are you gonna get a heat shield on these things? Blah, blah, blah. Anyways, it makes it a lot cheaper. And if you, to go to space, would only need to pay $200,000 for fuel and, you know, stuff like that. It's much, much, much more interesting for companies to say, you know what? I'm launching my own satellite, which then funds SpaceX. And then they're able to do more research and development. The travel thing was interesting to me because as this proliferates, as his company makes more money and becomes more and more profitable,

and his other ventures start fueling money, and then maybe some of these multinational organizations utilize his service to send up their satellites, their telescopes and stuff like that, then maybe he can make the travel aspect affordable for at least the super rich, right? No, no, no. So actually he said, because it would take like 500 to 1,000 people on like a spaceship, right? And it would take like 30 minutes to go, let's say, London to New York. It would be as expensive as an economy ticket. Again, bold talk, right?

But then again, keep in mind, they have the rocket, they have everything. All they need is fuel, and they're not even getting into orbit. They're literally going from A to B. I mean, I wanted to be right, but if I was talking about winning Olympic gold medals and beating Usain Bolt, pretending he wasn't retired, and said, look, I've already learned to walk.

You know, I'm this close. It's like, no, you're not. You're not. You were so far away from colonizing Mars just because you landed a rocket. Not to say that it's not a step in the right direction, but so is walking, and that doesn't mean you're... I just fail to see how it's not a step in the right direction, but so is walking, and that doesn't mean you're... I just fail to see how it's becoming reality, and I hope I'm wrong, because I'm not hating on it.

I just feel like the gap is so far. This 2022 talk is insanity. Okay, but then keep in mind, SpaceX has been missing a lot of deadlines, but it's still very interesting that they're still pursuing this idea and they're still actively working on tactic like fighting these problems they encounter like how are you gonna land on mars you can't use like parachutes uh which means that the rocket they landed here on earth they gotta land it this is very similar way on mars too Because you can't even fly in Mars. I can tell you how. Giant inflatable bumpers.

Right? You just come down and bounce and bounce and roll and you're set. I think the issue is like leaving Mars. So like, you know, you're going to send people there, but they're going to want to be able to come back. And I think the vertical landing thing is more about that than anything else. They want us to do

everything for them. like Puerto Ricans. He has a whole plan to make fuel on Mars. Well, you know what? If I was a guy getting on that rocket, I would ask to see that plan before I took off. That plan's really simple. There's CO2 and there's water.

I don't know what the process is called. But it's very simple to make fuel using the CO2 and the ice. So my only concern going there, let's say you're down. Let's say there's a base there and you want to go to Mars. First of all, you're going to be in the sky, in space, weightless, for three to six months, depending on how fast you go. You know how long that is?

I'm pretty sure none of you guys have gone on a three to six month long holiday. Then you're finally there, right? And you're in this, the most hazardous place you've ever been in. You can't go out for a walk. There's nothing to do there. Your muscles are probably atrophied. Right. You've lost your bone

density, stuff like that. You can't go for fresh air. You can't go, hey, let's just go. Hey, to be fair, to be fair, the slaves that were brought from Africa over here, they were in that boat down below in the darkness chained up for 14 weeks at a time.

Six months is a lot more than 14 weeks to be weightless and losing your bone density. They've got those space bicycles, though, right? Like where you're like Velcroed down to a pedaling bicycle. But then you're in there with like 500 people, right?

No, not 500. And a bunch of them have their fucking shoes off. Kyle's right. They do have space bikes and something, but it must be hard because no one comes back from an extended space tour looking good. And then keep in mind,

you're now on Mars where there's nothing to do and it's more dangerous than living on the North Pole. Which is another problem. Internet speeds can be delayed up to, I don't know exactly how many minutes. Eight minutes each way. No, no, that's to the sun. That's to the sun. I think the closest it's like two, three minutes.

I could be wrong. And then the furthest is like 16 minutes the wife's doing or whatever let's talk to my parents and you're there it's like how are you doing and it's like you gotta wait so that was a problem they solved when I was at Cisco like uh when you send a tcpip packet it has this time to live. And if it's not received on the other side within, I forget what it is, we'll call it four seconds or something, then you know that packet just got dropped or lost or whatever and you resend it. Well, they had to re-figure out how TCP IP works to handle these space missions. I thought that was neat.

But the problem is you can't go faster than the speed of light. You don't even know what the speed of light is. Okay, but you cannot transfer information faster than the speed of light. So, well, Chiz is saying something with quantum teleportation. But we're not there yet. Or are we? Just turn on a flashlight near one of those speed traps that tell you how fast you're going. Like 36, you shine a light. 60,000, you know, whatever you would say.

What did you say, Kyle? 800 miles per second? It's 186,000 miles per second. Oh, so a little faster. 300,000 kilometers per second. I don't know. That's it in miles. But anyways, you're on Mars for

two years before the distances get close enough again. And then you take off and come back home and probably North Korea nuked some countries and you're like, okay, let's just loop straight back. That's a great movie right there.

The first crop of people show up on Mars, and then a huge war breaks out and destroys everything on Earth, and they don't find out, obviously, until like eight minutes later or whatever we said, and then they just have to survive on Mars. But it's a very realistic movie because it's only 25 minutes long and they all die. That sounds a lot like the Planet of the Apes, right? It's pretty much the same thing. They went up and thought they had traveled to

another planet. It's similar. We'll chalk it up to parallel thinking. There are no monkeys in this film. There would be, though. The monkeys would take over if we were all gone. No, you're talking about on Earth?

Yeah. I thought you meant that we're gonna bring monkeys to test shit, and it's like no We should definitely bring monkeys to test shit on Mars. No bring cats fuck them Cats yeah, he is onto something fuck cats Yeah, just throw what happens if it if I was in space and i had a cat i would yeah i'd throw the fucking cat out i would watch this fucking sling him out there and watch him decompress like on total recall his eyes all budging out of it bulging out of his head like arnold schwarzenegger ah yeah fuck those cats i killed the cat well no i couldn't then he wouldn't learn anything

did you guys hear trump imply the North Korea thing just like today? What did he say? So he went to a military meeting, and after he exited the gathering, he said, hey, maybe this is the calm before the storm. And he says, we have the world's great military leaders in this room. Maybe this is the calm before the storm. And the reporters pressed him on what he meant. And he said, you'll find out.

That's what we know. I like his answers which are basically just a carbon copy of the answer from The Apprentice where it's like, who's getting kicked off next week? You'll find out. Nobody does so far. It's like... Who knows what it means?

If that was a different president, you'd really put some stock in it. Like, you know, what the fuck, you know? Like, yeah. But Trump says wackadoo things so often. We're almost North Korea at this point. Where, yeah, they're all going to rot in fiery hell. And they're not going to know what hit them. Yeah, yeah. But we're definitely not almost North Korea.

No. Because we're not firing rockets over Japan for the fuck of it. In words we are. In our loose rhetoric about wars and stuff. And the threats that are a little bit inflated. What do you guys think he should do? Or America? America should do it.

I don't know. With North Korea? I think that we should coordinate with South Korea to some extent to go in and take out the Kim regime from top to bottom, establish one of his generals in a democratic republic of some kind, a legitimate democratic republic. We'd have to clear that, make some sort of conditions with China and explain that we weren't going to go in there and try to move missile systems into our new friend North Korea or anything, that they'd be a neutral party or something like that, and they weren't going to do anything that they wouldn't like. But you'd also have to get in there, take out that communication network that makes all the artillery pieces coordinate with

one or another. Because if you don't take that out, then hundreds of thousands of people literally die in Seoul. What if you can't? What if it's ham radios or something? You can block those somehow. There's nothing that we can't jam. You can jam cell phones. You can jam

radio signals. You can take out the hardwired network that controls it. Maybe you commandeer that hardwired network and send some, you know, stand down, stand down. Or, you know, this is just a drill. Like, tell all the people we're gonna have a drill tonight that it's not live fire make sure you know and no live fire

rounds yes but just you know ignore that burning sensation on your skin confetti rounds tonight only guys the big flash you'll see and the nuclear fallout is just a test don't worry led light yeah it has to be something like that, because like a conventional war with them, like the kind of thing that we did to Iraq, for example, you know, just a full-on airstrike,

you know, taking out points of power, electrical grids, bridges, command and control centers, and then following that up with a ground invasion, and preceding it all, of course, with special forces being airdropped in and and that took painting targets that shit don't work not in north korea it works but the the symptom is that all those south koreans die yep they got the artilleries they got the artilleries and they've got big rocket launcher things that are really ugly what you don't want to happen is what's happened in the Middle East, right, where you take out the leader and take out the regime, but you don't replace it with a good backup plan.

Because now you've got all these brainwashed people, millions of brainwashed people who don't know better. You have a massive army in North Korea, and then what are you going to do, right? I'm sure Trump and his well-staffed cabinet will do much better than our previous governments have. I bet a lot of those brainwashed people know it's bullshit and they want out. Probably, yeah.

I've been saying that. Way more than 30 years ago, before the internet. Now you have a million-plus people which need help, right? They need medical attention or they need mental help. In the millions. Right? Because they'll come out and it's like, yo, listen, your entire life was a lie.

You can do whatever you want now. You don't have to be sad that your leader is dead. And they're going to be thinking, oh, shit, this must be a drill. Or what if these Americans really are American bastards really are that crazy, you know, stuff like that. So it's definitely a very big issue. I know they don't have Internet, but like with the advent of computers, being able to drop like thumb drives and shit has really opened the eyes of a lot of people there like i i've i've gone on many youtube rabbit holes with like uh deserters from north korea talking about it and like from what a lot of them say they're like yeah everybody

knows it's bullshit but you do not say anything you say something not only you but your parents your sister your brother your kids three generations yeah yeah like it it's it's out of fucking food too much yeah no no like eventually this band-aid has to get ripped off and I bet we're gonna find some horrific shit that we don't even know about yet happening. Oh, like torture camps and shit. Yeah, I bet they're like slaughtering like millions of people and selling their organs to the Chinese or something crazy like that. That's it, those are some other conspiracies. Yeah, I hope they're making some frog people or something like i hope i hope they're like like doing some crazy bat bat shit crazy like genetic experiments like we were talking about

the japanese the other day and the fucked up shit they did during world war ii but how it actually benefited medical science for better or worse and the germans too they uh the germans too but the japs were japs were at least equally as bad, but I think worse. Yeah, with the experimentations. Yeah, with the experimentations. I think that, what if we go into North Korea, we solve that whole thing, and they're like, holy shit, they've got lizard people up here. They've got

some sentient, highly intelligent lizard men that speak Korean. That'd be awesome. We just need a new group to hate i feel like this whole race uh baiting thing that we've got going on right now with with with black people and white people if there were lizard men that would bring us all together if there were some green people to hate then the white people the black people the asian people the hispanics whatever the fuck webel cop

is well right the racially ambiguous than just a new faction in warhammer uh total war 2 people, the Hispanics. Whatever the fuck Webelkop is. Well, rest assured that the Razormen are more than just a new faction in Warhammer Total War 2. Rest assured of that. Yeah, I've long said that, that what we need for world peace is a common enemy. We need aliens,

we need sleestacks, we need lizardmen, we need underground dwelling like cave neanderthals to come up or something we need something that everybody can get behind to hate that's a damn shame that like the neanderthals didn't survive longer and like at least have their own like side of the world at least a corner at least corner. Because then all homo sapiens would be all on the same team. It wouldn't matter as much.

It'd be like those filthy fucking Neanderthals over there. Who am I talking? I might be in their camp if they started doing testing. But it would really bind us together. Yeah, we raped and pillaged and killed them into just non-existence.

Yeah. Or did we just crossbreed with them? I don't know. No, no. There was no... We raped and murdered them and ate them to an extent until they were no more. Because apparently Neanderthals lived in smaller groups

than humans. And so humans lived obviously in large groups. humans. And humans lived obviously in large groups. And so if you come across a Neanderthal group, the human group's going to win every time because you're just going to overwhelm them and kill them because they live in little tribes. They have no one to blame but themselves.

How much Neanderthal DNA is in this? You say rape, I say crossbreed, tomato, tomato. You still have babies that are a mix. Back in the day, it was all the same. But it was non-consensual sex, as most sex at the time probably was. The advent of marriage for loving reasons is like a 180-year-old practice. reasons is like a 180 year old practice right and the advent of marriage itself for like uh practical reasons is only a few couple thousand years old but there was a lot of rape you think

there was a lot of rape marriage started in like what the what's that the 1920s what's a no 1820s no i'm saying marriage for the purpose of love like a loving like loving marriage like not politically motivated or not like arranged marriages for, you know, you sell her for the dowry of two goats or whatever. Exactly, yeah. You bought your wife to one extent or another

or you were forced to marry her to make sure that the difference would not evade. But yeah, we raped the shit out of those Neanderthals. There was no... We weren't going to bargain with them for goats. We took their goats, and we took their women, and then when we were finished with them, we killed them.

Well, we clearly didn't kill the women. Maybe they raped some of our women. I don't know how it worked. It wasn't around 15,000 years ago, but there was definitely rape. I know that. Whenever I talk to a girl... Whenever I talk to a girl about

zombie apocalypse survival and a girl's like, I think I'd be pretty good. I could shoot and I like to camp. I'd be like, you know, your main problem would be rape, right? Everybody'd just be trying to rape you all the time 24-7.

That'd be it. The zombies would not be your biggest fear. You can shoot your currency woman you know we will trade you for food like that's it it no they just they would trade the woman for food that's what i said yeah yeah yeah oh i see i see yeah yeah it always falls down to that and i'm not saying if you were a weak attractive man rape would be a big problem for you too all right i'm gonna say death is going to be the problem there. There'd be some rape too. Look at Carl on Walking Dead. There's a lot of gay rapists

traipsing about. Absolutely. It's about scarcity. Carl from The Walking Dead? Yeah, remember that hillbilly was trying to rape Carl? Yeah, remember? I forgot that scene.

Oh, that's a great fucking scene. I think you might be fucking with me because you guys do that a lot. We almost never do that. Yeah, right. It's been, what, 30 minutes? Suck a dick. It's been like 30 shows, I would estimate,

since we've actually... You pretended that you thought that was Quibble Cop or whatever. Well, that was like that was quibble cop or whatever. Well, well that was like a joke that we were like, Oh, look at your quads. But like,

it was clearly not quibble cop. I want to read you the quads. Yeah. Now we don't need to watch the scene of Carl almost getting raped. It's all good. Oh, come on. You don't want to watch Carl.

Come on. This is a good scene. No, no, no, no, no. I love this scene. Come boy. It's all good. Oh, come on. You don't want to watch Carl? Come on. This is a good scene. No, no, no, no, no. I love this scene. Come on. Who wants to watch Carl? How long is it?

Yay. Who wants to watch Carl? Three. Okay. Let's go. Three minutes. I want to see a little tip to chop. Let's watch it.

All right. I'm cute at zero. All right. I'm ready for the rape scene. Yes. We're counting down. Carl almost raped. it was a thing. Alright, I'll do it.

Ready, set, play. It's a lie! Teach him, fellas! Teach him all the way! Is this the... No? You get yours. You just wait your turn. Listen, it was me. It was just me.

See now, that's right! Why is everybody so aggressive in The Walking Dead? They need to start growing some weed farms. Make some cookies. You sure are gonna beat Daryl today? You can't let up on your aggression in the apocalypse. Let him go. You squirt. Dead squirt. Let him go. Is it really that bad?

If they were next to your ear, absolutely. Just checking because I've never shot a gun. Hmm. You should. The hell, Rick is losing this? Alright. Yeah, this is actually where The Walking Dead ends. This is the end of the series.

This is next season. I'm ends. This is the end of the series. This is next season. I'm all caught up on the comic books. This next season starts with Carl, Goose, you know, duck walking towards the gym. I have both eyes here. I believe this is season 4 or 5. This is the Terminus season. I need to rewatch this season. The Terminus stuff is legit. It is jugular.

That's why I want those sharp teeth. Oh, that makes you... I was just going to say that's really not that easy if you want to try. Oh, now he's gonna get some tape back. The tables have turned. Don't let the boy go! Oh, I thought he went a little easy on him. He's not done! He just cut him from dick to neck.

Oh, boy. Now he's going like Mel Gibson in the Patriot mode. Just stabbing the equal cult. Speaking of the Walking Dead. It comes back soon. Can I just line it up for you guys? There you go. When does it come back?

Yeah, after this, I'll do the Walking Dead ad read. You see? Hey, as if it's my job. I'm actually also doing a promo with The Walking Dead. Excellent. Nice job. Well, for those of you not already playing, we'd like to introduce you to the official mobile game of AMC's The Walking Dead,

The Walking Dead, The Walking Dead No Man's Land, from game developer Next Games. The Walking Dead No Man's Land is a turn-based action strategy game where you battle hordes of walkers with all of your favorite heroes, including Daryl, Rick, and Michonne, by building your camp and enlisting more survivors and heroes to join you. Slowly, but surely, you'll become a force to be reckoned with. There's tons of playable content that lets you relive the highlights of Season 7 and throwback moments from earlier seasons of the TV show,

as well as a new hardcore survival game mode for inexperienced players called The Distanced. Or, excuse me, for experienced players called The Distanced. Watch out for new content for the upcoming Season 8 premiere at the end of October, coming up soon. Can you survive and stay human? Download the Walking Dead No Man's Land for free at the App Store or Google Play or go to getnomansland.com

slash weapon now and you'll get Negan for free. This special offer is only available right now, so don't wait. That's getnomansland.com slash weapon. Link down in the description. Make that a little easier on you. Very cool. Check them out. I like Walking Dead.

I am caught up on the comic book now. I'll follow it up. When does the new season come out? At the end of October, as I just said. Oh, at the end of October. Okay. It should be good.

I didn't think I would like the show as much as i ended up liking it it's uh the the problem is standing it's certainly not out i man it's hard to classify the walking dead in the next week make good modern of modern shows it's uh i like it a lot i've seen every single episode many of them multiple times um it it has some it has some low points but it's high points seem to make up for the most of the time i'm hoping they handle this next season really well uh i saw jeffrey dean morgan who plays negan saying that he would like some negan backstory um and i agree i want to see i know negan's backstory but i want to see negan's backstory who plays Negan, saying that he would like some Negan backstory. And I agree. I know Negan's backstory, but I want to see Negan's backstory shown up. So I'm hoping that we get a few flashbacks like that.

He's the most interesting character, I think, in the whole show up until now. Absolutely he is. He definitely is. You know what? One of the things that takes away from Negan is season 3 and 4 or whatever the governor seasons. I wish they'd been doing some completely different shit then so this didn't just feel like Governor 2.0. Negan is

definitely a bigger, badder, crueler version of the governor. He's certainly not a maniac. He's not psychotic. He's not sadistic. He's a different kind of character but the challenges are very similar an overpowering leader who has a group and more weaponry and and seems seems to have our our uh heroes outfoxed at every turn and then of course we have to rise up and uh and uh and beat them so i it seems like there's uh like a cycle in in walking dead

where they show up as a group to a community that's not happy in like because you're in a zombie apocalypse but it's functional and it works like they have roles they have shit to do and it undoubtedly the core group ruins it for everyone everyone there and then is like let's get out of here and then they just leave and everybody else is like oh you know what like you know the governor may not have been like a nobel prize winning fella but at least we had cornflakes and new things to eat and a guy with a gun standing on top of an upturned uh you know chevelle so that he could stave off the zombies and now we're just stuck here in a shitty place like i so i don't like that and then they always leave like so yeah we fixed that situation like we survived and we

took out the bad guy it's like no you just hundreds of people will die because of what you just did yeah hundreds yeah i agree i i feel like, you know, Rick is an M. They're terrorists in a lot of ways. They are. You're like, you know, the Nazis had a little quirk to them, I'll admit, but they were functional until Rick and the gang got there. Like, typically the places where they upturned the apple cart were pretty bad. But it's better than dying in the wilderness.

Like, that's all, those are the only, it's a dichotomy almost, of like, you stay in this governorship, or Negan's place, or whatever the hell it's called, or, you're on your own. Walking down the highway, hoping to find some Triscuits in the backseat of a car with six bodies in it. Yeah, I like

Negan's group. I like the way that they go about doing things. I feel like it's pretty fair. You know? Like, it's pretty fair. Irons to the face. Think about the things that those people did to deserve the iron to the face, though. Major betrayals. Like having sex with your own wife. It wasn't his wife anymore. It was Negan's wife.

You fuck the boss's wife, what do you expect? It doesn't matter that she used to be your wife. She's not anymore. It was Negan's wife. You fuck the boss's wife, what do you expect? It doesn't matter that she used to be your wife. She's not anymore. You both agreed to that. For people who don't know the show, this is what happened. This couple was kind of happily married but I think either she or someone in her family needed medicine, which was very difficult to earn.

So, kind of out of necessity, she sort of became Negan's wife. Kyle's shaking his head like I'm wrong. So that they could get this. That happened, but the reason that he got his face burned was because he took his wife, who had married Negan, and her sister, who needed the medicine,

and a whole fucking cooler full of the insulin, and they ran. They ran away. So when Negan caught him, I mean, I would think the penalty would be death, but no. He just burned his face and took the wife back. And in the other instance that you're talking about, it was that he had slept with his wife. She

had chosen to go with Negan just because it was easier. Just because it was easier. She had agreed to that. And the husband had agreed to go with Negan just because it was easier. Just because it was easier. She had agreed to that, and the husband had agreed to that. Yeah. It's easy to conflate it because he burns a lot of people's faces. Plus, I read the comic book, and I think that

it's a slightly different story, so now I've got four things cooking in my head. But, um... Yeah. Think about the morality code. Like, we're stuck in the 21st century of morality you know innocent until proven guilty and all this and that because we have the luxury of technology and all that like think back to like Hammurabi's code like the first like or not the first but the first like evidence we have of like laws like it was so fucking harsh it was like if you're a builder

and you build a house and it collapses on someone dead it was either dead or like you get your hands cut off or something oh you're a baker and you baked something that made someone sick gotta cut your hand off or cut an ear off or something like back in the day that's just the kind of shit you needed that iron fist to get society going like we were more barbaric it was like i don't know it's difficult to remove yourself from that and even though we are civilized now like a few years out of this and back in the wild and and we're gonna go right back to that monkey brain of you know what betrayal betrayal we're not doing research into this that guy's gonna we're fucking killing him you know why because i'm not taking the risk that he's gonna steal my shit again that can't happen give me your wife i'm gonna kill you or

i'm gonna brand you or something so that everybody knows to stay away from you in this society or cut an ear off like the the iron does seem rough to be to to be clear like like that that's fucking rough like i feel like a whipping would be like the punishment like like like a you know private yeah you know and you it in front of everybody. But the whole purpose is to make it public. Yeah. Do it like in Starship Troopers where they tie him up out there,

they lash him up, and then they whip him with the big bull whip. Everybody saw it. It's incredibly painful. And you learn your fucking lesson. That big iron to the face is That's pretty fucking rough, but you know what that guy with the whip He's gonna recover and he's gonna be wearing a shirt and someone's not gonna know this he's gonna

And he's gonna sit down like you know the Americans pre-revolutionary war and they're gonna be like all right What are we doing? What's the plan whereas if he had a big fucking iron mark on his face? They're gonna go Like, alright, what are we doing? What's the plan? Whereas if he had a big fucking iron mark on his face, they're gonna go, you know, honestly, like, your plan's pretty good, but you're fucking gross, and I don't want to be like you. Like, no thanks. How about this? Whenever we play basketball and we play shirts versus skins,

he has to play skins. Would that fix it? Alright, fair compromise. Yeah, right? I mean, just leave my face alone. Like, come on. I would, uh, I think that just leave my face alone. Come on. I think that my punishments, if I was the Negan or the governor, would be public humiliation, so that you wouldn't

have to feel as bad about hurting people, because I wouldn't want to hurt people, but you still need to make it evident. Maybe they have to dance naked in a cage for 15 hours straight. It's horrible music. Mine were milder than that. Like, well, this guy really doesn't like public speaking,

so we'll make him do that. He's going to hate this. Trust me, it's a good one. It's a good one. I read The Indian in the Cupboard, and I am going to tell you about it right now. Start over. It's got to be at least 12 minutes presentation and there's no visual.

Completely bomb, like a comedic routine. They're like, alright, thank you, punishment. You know? How's everybody doing? I really wish I had prepared more. They're in can. But they're not good! Yeah!

I'll take the stand up. I think that one would get a real laugh over at Negan's camp. I mean, everybody could relate to that. We all think everybody ever follows Negan, yeah? Anybody else think these zombies are starting to look pretty sexy? Me either. Me either. Exactly, yeah.

Keep going! Towards the back! else thinking these zombies starting to look pretty sexy? Me either. Me either. Keep going! Six more minutes. Type 5! You know. Also there's a... I was totally changing topics. Was there more to this one? There's an ask reddit right now. What would it take for you gun, to give your guns up? And in my head, I extrapolated it to just the ones they'd take. You get to keep your pump shotgun or whatever.

You don't just completely disarm you. The ones they want. The M4s, the AR-15s, the AK-47s. If they pass a law that says you have to give them up, you just have to give them up. There's obviously going to be some penalty if they catch you with one you don't want that so you just give them up like really so that's it just like your cops going around what are you gonna do hide we're gonna hide them i mean if you hide them then like

what's the point i i guess you could hide some like bury them or something but like then you could never use them so like you're keeping them till like doomsday times which i guess you could hide them a little less than that right like it behind the the secret compartment behind the picture you know like that level of hiding okay they check i got i got one question right and i live in a most of my life i've lived in a place where you know you'd only see guns on either the like someone in the military or a police officer um but isn't it like not gonna fix the problem even though you'll take away the guns because it because you're talking about a or like a let's say an m4 whatever m yes, obviously, it shoots a lot of rounds

and it can kill a lot of people, but if you're walking around with your shotgun, which still would be allowed, you could do a lot of damage with that too. Flamethrowers are allowed. Right? It would embolden people who use guns immediately. And then on top of that,

you know, okay, let's say all the guns are banned. That's not going to get rid of the issue of someone being like a psychopath, right? It's also not going to disarm the criminal. It's not going to disarm criminals either. Exactly, exactly. First of all, if you could somehow get every gun that's out there, and you can't, because there's like hundreds of millions of them in this country. A couple times over more guns than people.

War on drugs, right? It's easy to make a gun. It's very easy to make a gun. You can make the ammunition. And the people who would want to do those things could do them. I can do them. It's not that hard. I saw a guy make an AR-15 lower the other day with recycled aluminum cans. He was melting the cans a guy make an AR-15 lower the other day with recycled aluminum cans. He was melting the cans

and making himself an AR-15 lower. You can make them out of plastic with a 3D printer. And 3D printers are getting better and better and better. And so are the guns that are made from them. I made a shotgun in a video with parts from Home Depot. Exactly.

The thing I can't picture with the collecting of the guns is, let's say, hypothetically, all right, you know, you have to report that you have these guns and then you're going to turn them in or a cop's going to come to your house and and make you give it to him. The reason those people have guns are because they fear a tyrannical government, overwhelmingly. And when cops show up to the door wanting to take your guns so that the only entity with a gun in the country is the state, those people, it just, it would not pan out. Like, those people are going to fight back. It would never work. And those cops, I bet they wouldn't do it. Like, I bet they'd be like, fuck no. Like, no, I'm not going to a person's house to take their guns because i'm gonna get shot that's why this person probably has a gun you would have some scenes on

the news that would look a lot like waco you would have you would have many waco happening thousands of times because because the end result would be you would have federal uh officers going to some millionaire's house who has a giant collection and he's a member of the militia and he would have already ran them off once or twice and he would know they were coming the third time and he'd be ready and he'd probably have explosives and belt fed machine guns

he would be able to defeat their armored personnel carriers very easily he'd have high caliber stuff with armor piercing rounds and ralphos rounds he'd have scary stuff and you'd have high caliber stuff with armor piercing rounds and Ralphos rounds. He'd have scary stuff. And you'd have a very, very scary confrontation where a lot of people get hurt. And it wouldn't be an isolated event. Like I see these guys when you go to places like Knob Creek and when you, you know, you

rub elbows with like millionaire gun investors and guys who own gun companies and guys who who just are prepared for the end times. You know, guys who have oxygen recyclers in their basement and water purifying systems that can last for 30 years and have all these generators and fuel stockpiled and enough ammunition literally for a militia to battle for months at a time. These people exist in high numbers. You've seen doomsday preppers. Those are kind of the candy-ass guys who are like, yeah, have a film crew come over and let them look

at my stuff. The real guys don't want a fucking film crew to come look at their stuff. The real guys have scary shit on the level of doomsday preppers, but much, much bigger. I don't think they can handle the Air Force. Well, see, here's the argument against that, because it doesn't make

sense to say, well, you would get blown out by the Air Force and by the tanks. Let's bomb our own people. Yeah, number one, unless you want to be king of the ashes, you can't run a scorched earth campaign. You're going to tank your whole economy. It's going to just be a civil war of madness. Also,

fighter jets can't come to your door and make sure that you're in for curfew they can't stand on street corners and enforce laws for you like it's a very high level kind of warfare thing like if you want a police state in this country you need to have fucking heavily armed people on every street corner because a lot of people here have guns like it just wouldn't work so when people are like oh you can't compete with a b2 bomber you can't compete with an abrams m1 tank it's like no shit because those wouldn't be rolling down the street not at all you think those people with ak-47s in iraq can compete with that let me jump in for a second for years i i

think the idea of those heavy things doing it was there's fewer people really ready to die you know because look i like my guns but if push came to shove i'm not the one to die for it you know like like i got a family i don't like whatever and i'm just not the one who's going to die for it i don't like them that much you know maybe maybe someone else does what i'm so if if if i am the 99 out of 100 or the 999 out of a thousand and there's just one every now and then then that's how they handle it. It would be a massive public relations nightmare. You'd be watching

CNN and you would see federal agencies going to war with American citizens on their property and it would be The solution does seem worse than the problem. I'm not saying that... The citizens wouldn't win, and that's why this wouldn't work.

You would see American citizens and their families. The report would come on, and it would be like, Jimmy John and his family of eight were all burnt alive in their home when the Air Force finally sent a drone in to uh to destroy his compound and that shit wouldn't fly those kind of civil rights like this stuff also assumes that the entire military and police it is just a bunch of stormtroopers who are going to do exactly as ordered like you tell a bunch of some of the most right-wing conservative people like like military police those are more you know right-wing positions for the most right wing, conservative people, like military, police, those are more

right wing positions for the most part. But people who are pro-gun, obviously. You tell all of them, alright, you gotta go take guns from your fellow citizens, you gotta go do this, that. If they refuse, you gotta take them out, we're bringing a drone in, firebomb them. That's gonna fall apart quick. If they tried to, and a civil war broke out, 0% chance the government wins. The civilians will win because the military, the government, or the police will join their side.

There's just no way for it to pan out otherwise. This country is so big. So many people have guns. Look at how much trouble we have with insurgencies in the Middle East where people have way more archaic guns and far fewer of them, really. I've spoken to a friend who is in Afghanistan. He was saying, yeah, I saw Afghanis running over hills after each other even though they were getting shot because they were trying to grab one case of AK-47 ammo because they have so little of it. They were just getting mowed down.

And they are putting up a huge fight. The United States, so many people so many guns there's no chance and it's not just guns like if you start like first of all the answer to this whole thing is mental health uh exactly the answer this whole thing is mental health um and we can go down this laundry list of like uh hypotheticals but the end result would be really nasty and scary and you would have some sort of a civil war. And there would be bombings. There would be suicide bombings. And it wouldn't be just about the guns.

It's not about the guns. It's about your rights. There's a point where people won't be pushed around or bullied. There are a lot of people who have sort of an honor code about them. And they're ready to die for that. It's not that they're ready to die for a black rifle. They're ready to die for their right to not be pushed that one inch further. And there's also people who would see those cases of their fellow citizens getting Waco'd and not to defend

Waco too much because the government stories that David Koresh was marrying underage brides and a lot of child molestation going on there. It's certainly no saint. But there would be better poster childs for this anti-government force or resistance or whatever that would be created by the government themselves if this... Like terrorism. You know, maybe a guy like me is not radicalized and then they kill my brother and I am. That's all it would take, right? Like, imagine that, like, you know, your daughter was visiting at someone's home not radicalized and then they kill my brother and i am that's all it would take right like like

imagine that like you know your daughter was visiting at someone's home and they came in to take those people's guns and everyone got killed that might push you right over the fucking edge oh yeah like like like there are a lot of people who like if you took one thing from them one family member we took their home if you took if you took their home, if you took their father, or if you took their mother, or you took their son or their daughter, it's like, alright, my life means nothing to me anymore, and yours means much, much less.

Yours means something. Yours is now a trophy that I'm looking to collect. You create some punishers, right? Less talented, but yeah. Just as motivated. Who knows?

We've been fighting wars for the last 20 years straight or something like that. There's a lot of people in this country with combat experience and weaponry who know the military in and out. You come get one of these guys with PTSD and feels like he served his country and was treated like shit by the VA, and then you come in to take his guns and you kill his son accidentally and you shoot his dog. You've made

a real fucking enemy. How many millions of veterans, even assuming you don't kill a family member or their dog or something, how many of them are going to be cool when they find out oh yeah, the military is going to come and take our guns now. Like, all of those retired military folks

are going to be like, yeah, it's not going to happen. Because I was in the military, I know those kinds of people that wouldn't do that. Or at least most of them. It's just so far-fetched to believe that they're just going to order

these brown shirts out there, the government would, and that they would start rounding up people's guns. It would not pan out. It would be one of the worst things. You have much more faith in that than I do. I think you can group think of military or the police into doing anything like i feel like i've already seen the police you put them all in right here you dress them the same and they all

march forward and there isn't a single cop ever that says you know what these rioters just have flowers no they fucking push them they'll tear gas them. They'll beanbag shotgun them. They'll do whatever. To be fair though, I don't see it often where they are just beating the shit out of flower holders and people, usually it's because bricks were thrown at them or something. But you're right. Yeah, there's police problems. But like the issue of

like, in the military they're training people like, alright, you're going to go over there. That's the fucking enemy. That's not, you know, they dehumanize in a way you know the people over there that's that's what they do you can do that to people here uh it's it's much much more difficult on the homeland to be like these people uh you know how you're from connecticut steve well you're going to be going through neighborhoods in connecticut knocking on doors telling people you need their guns and if not you're going to take them by force. Like, that's, it would not happen.

So far, I've seen police and military refusal to do their job about 0% of the time. Well, we're talking about a totally different thing, though. Like, nothing like this has ever been ordered, especially on the home front. Like, the military going door to door, that's going to change everybody's tune quick. They shut down the First Amendment routinely. I don't know why the Second Amendment would be so different. I guess I'm really just playing devil's advocate.

If you get a bunch of people even peacefully protesting but say stopping traffic, riot police will be like, you cannot! They'll go in there and they'll kick their ass. They'll hit them with the batons. They'll do whatever. They don't cut their tongues out. They don't cut their tongues out. That's the equivalent, right?

They don't remove their tongues out. They don't cut their tongues out. That's the equivalent, right? They don't remove their ability to ever execute that right again. They don't say, ah, now you'll never speak a word again because we didn't like the way you spoke this time. I understand the analogy you're making, but cut the tongues out seems a lot more brutal compared to taking a gun away. Pull them out with hot pincers,

Game of Thrones style. I mean, the road thing, that's totally different from the gun. I think we've all got our piece set on the gun away. Pull them out with hot pincers, Game of Thrones style. I mean, the road thing, that's totally different from the gun. I think we've all got our piece set on the gun thing. The road thing, yeah, they shouldn't be beating the shit out of them right away, and I don't see that happen a lot in these clips. What I do see is lots of people on the road,

cops going, disperse! This is illegal! You are in violation of the law! You must disperse or you are subject to arrest. And then they get a lot of, yeah, fucking do it. Fuck you. And that kind of shit from the crowd and stuff getting thrown. And then you have to disperse. And then eventually it's like, well, we got to clear this highway.

You can't do this. You can't just block ambulances and fire departments. In North Carolina, this is just last year or the year before, around that HB2 bill. You remember the one with the bathrooms and all and more. They were sitting in the state capitol building or whatever. And they're sitting down. They're singing. They're holding hands. They're swaying.

You can picture the scene. And by the way, they're old. You know, 60. Women. And they want them to stop. 60 women. And they want them to stop. And they grab them by the pressure points behind their earlobes and make them stand up and cuff them and drag them out.

And they're still singing the whole way. Like, these are very nonviolent people. People even incapable of violence, right? 62-year-old women. And they're just dragging them out. And it's like, yeah, I don't see any riot police saying, I'm not going to hurt her. No. Did they start smacking them around or anything?

Well, they hurt them into compliance, right? They pressure point them and make them stand and chicken wing them to make them get up. They were sitting on a – on what again? Like a tile floor. It's a state building, right, where you can kind of like see up to the next balcony and and it's just flooded with people and uh and yeah they were just kind of being peaceful protesting letting them know that they thought this bill that they were doing was wrong and i forget the details of it but there was some sort of like shenanigans

going on where they were kind of like by like midnight voting to get shit passed that wouldn't have passed in the light of day and uh so they were up there like protesting it and you know older helpless not helpless but like non-violent not capable of violent frail people getting chicken winged into standing and stuff like that and it was just my example of, yeah, I've never seen riot police say, these are my neighbors and friends. Like, just 0% of the time. Oh, no, but the riot police, they're terrified. They look cool and powerful in those dehumanizing pieces of armor.

But meanwhile, it's probably this guy's first riot there he's like oh you know yeah i'm a riot police i'm a cool guy and then he's there like shaking adrenaline people yelling people throwing shit at him and he has a stick and somebody gets close he goes he's not gonna say hey could you uh you know sorry you're getting a bit too close in my personal space could you maybe back up a little bit now he's just gonna be get the fuck out of here and then the people are not gonna listen and then they just yeah yeah i just i just never seen them say like hey boss i feel like we're going too rough over here there is i mean like the like i see what you mean but not really in the example of the seizing guns, because that's just so, so much bigger. Like someone saying, you know, we need you nationwide to go seize all these rifles and semi-automatic weapons, you know, is not comparable, I don't think, to saying, all right, we need to move these six people out of this government building.

Like 250. These 250 people out of a government building like like 250 or 200 these 250 people out of the out of a government building something like just the seizing of guns would be it would be a one of the worst things this country could go through like it would be catastrophic it'd be horrible i think kyle's i think there'd be pockets you know of people who maybe get together and say we're going to fight to the death and and i and again i think the solution would be worse than the problem they're trying to fix which is like oh yeah but it wouldn't even fix the problem because you know that there are more people die yearly because of cars than guns and knives and everything and if if somebody's crazy and wants to kill a lot of people

and you take the guns away like the guy is going to craft a bomb. You take the bombs away, the guy is going to drive a fucking truck, right? Into a crowd. You can't even take bombs away because people are going to figure stuff out with chemistry. Exactly, but you're

not going to see them ban semi-trucks or stuff like that. You could say, okay, well, we'll make all the vehicles, you know, autonomous and nobody can, right, drive them anymore. But taking guns away is not going to fix the issue. You know, fixing the issue is a bigger problem. These people have problems, health you know you want to

yeah whatever health care or whatever is that and then in the in the more violent i want to say urban violence i'll put it that way uh it might just be a sense of hopelessness you know where they think this is the only lifestyle that they got they have a you know that's open to them that's my guess i don't know. I've never been in a gang. Me either. I have. Oh, yeah. That was a soccer team. That's not the same. But yeah,

I just think what motivates a guy to murder someone on a street corner or something? He probably thinks that it's cool. He clearly has issues. A lot of it is gang related. It's not the traditional mental health.

Correct, yeah. Go ahead, Queb, sorry. I was just going to say, it goes from education to mental health. You want these people to be educated, to know the consequences, to understand humans, right? To, someone could literally be crazy and assume that he's dreaming or whatever all the time, or hey, if I shoot this guy, it's not gonna be real anyways,

stuff like that. Or people which are older, they might say, you know what, I've lived my life as a psychopath my entire life, I have cancer, I'm most likely going to die anyways, let's go out with a bang. There are people who are, when they are hurt, there's something innate in human beings that when you're hurt you want to hurt back. It's the first thing you think to do. I remember watching a Mike Tyson interview and he was talking about, I think his daughter died. I hope I'm not getting it wrong. I think his daughter died. I'm almost positive she did.

And he's talked about this moment he had where he's like, I just wanted to get a gun, and I wanted to go on a rampage. I wanted to go on a rampage, and I wanted to hurt people. And then I went into that children's hospital, and I saw those other parents. And I was like, who the fuck am I to hurt people look these people are hurting just like I am I have no more right than them so I think that that grabs a lot of people who have had like traumatic experiences and had to had great losses in their life and something terrible happens to them and they just want to hit back they want want to hit back at something, and they don't have that part of their brain that says, wait a minute, whoa, whoa, slow down. Those are just people going about their lives. Maybe there is no one I can hit back against

that deserves it, and maybe that's just part of modern life, is that there's not always a bad guy to go get. You can't always point to the, oh, it's that group over there. All of them are against me. Like, you've got to stop and realize that. I think that drives a lot of the maniacs. But the real problem is, like you said, it's gang violence. It's people fighting for drug turf. It's people fighting for territory to do quasi-organized crime

you know we went after the italian mafia like it was well like it was the italian mafia but you've got every weekend in chicago you have a vegas level massacre going on one two three individuals at a time what was the death toll in vegas and and as i say 59 i think 59 you lose about that many in chicago every weekend all right every weekend you lose about that many it's not not that many yeah you do i just look at the stats yeah every week every week one week it was 45 and the next week it's 70, it bounces up and down between 45 and 75 a week in Chicago that are being killed. We need to get this fact checked. One, two, three at a time.

Oh, I looked up the Mike Tyson daughter thing. Kyle was right. She died in a tragic treadmill accident. Jesus Christ. Now, that's a YouTube video you don't want to see. That one did not make the fail army. Shit. What happened?

I just read the headline. I'm scared of treadmills now. Bad treadmills. Take all treadmills out of every single house in America, guys. We cannot have this. We're dispatching the army tomorrow. We're picking up your treadmills. We want licensed treadmills.

Everybody, all the treadmills. She... How many people die yearly because of treadmills, everybody. All the treadmills. She... How many people die yearly because of treadmills? I'm curious. Well, I mean... Here, I've got a little more details. Somehow she was playing on this treadmill and there's a cord that hangs under the console,

kind of a loop. Either she slipped or put her head in the loop, but it acted like a noose and was unable to get herself out. And it was pulling her, I suppose. That's awful. I bet it ground her down. I bet the tread was removing the skin the whole time.

Yeah. Right? I don't know. Somehow I pictured in my head that she pulled the cord and the power went off, but I'm not sure. If the power went off, maybe she'd get out. I've had some serious falls. Oh, okay.

That makes it even more conceivable. An adult, you would imagine, would roll left or right, but a four-year-old, the tread is wider than their body by a couple times. So, in the past 15 years, treadmills killed

about 30 people. I just looked it up. Vending machines kill a couple a year. You always see that. People rocking that vending machine with their money back and it falls onto them. Dogs kill many, many more than vending machines. Isn't the

overwhelming majority of dog deaths because of pit bulls? Probably, yeah. Here's my thought about pit bulls. Like, pit bulls definitely have an aggression thing going on, but many dog breeds do. The reason that pit bulls are

bad is because they are equipped to apply that aggression in a deadly to humans kind of way. I'm not saying that your pit bull is necessarily meaner by any regard. Pit bulls contributed 65% of the deaths in 2005 to 2016, so it's not just a little more aggressive. So that's real.

And I'd love to know— Combined, pit bulls and Rottweilers contributed to 76% of the total recorded deaths. And what percentage of dogs in America are pit bulls or Rottweilers? That's the other number you need to really put that figure into... When 3% of the dogs do 78% of the deaths, that's the big deal. We've seen these kind of stats before, right? I knew you would. I was like, I know it's coming.

I wonder how he'll phrase it. Yeah, some stats we're not allowed to talk about. Like... Kyle, that's a hate fact. to talk about Like That's a hate statistic You know the hate statistic When I first heard the high school graduation rate This is black people specifically And it's an out of date thing

Because this is like 10-15 years ago But it was like either less than 50% or around 50% I thought That's just an asshole making up numbers, so I confirmed it myself. And it was... I want to confirm it again. I hope it's out of date now. I hope it's changed wildly.

Dead air! So... I'm googling it. I'm sure you've heard it I'm sure you've heard that it's not a race thing it's an income thing but then you know there's that statistic I just linked why is John Trump in that?

I'm still looking at it I mean I'll find a more credible source it's better now nationwide black students graduated at 69% um it's still not good enough It's better now. Nationwide, black students graduated at 69%. That's still not good enough. It was way better than the 50 I quoted before, so I'm glad we fixed it. And this is from 2011 and 12.

I'm glad we fixed it. All better. Yeah, the issue is multifaceted. And I think that what a lot of us fixate on, maybe rightfully so, it's hard to look away from a maniac in a fucking hotel spraying a crowd of people with, for all intents and purposes, fully automatic fire. But he would have found a way to do that yeah and like in the problem regardless so that man owned two planes right he could have loaded those planes up with a ammonium nitrate bomb and he could have crashed him into something that meant that was an intelligent wealthy man he did have tannerite in his vehicle yes he did um and like the annoying like the thing with the the talk of gun control after all of these events

is like spree shootings or mass shootings make up a a small percentage of overall gun murders and gun deaths you know if you go by like actual mass shootings as people understand it and you don't go anything more than three people shot is a mass shooting or something like that more than one intentionally yeah that's a collateral numbers that's that's really misleading but then people try and make gun policy based on this minority type of gun crime and it's like well if when you're doing that you're not actually doing anything to make it better like the furries i see all over the places we have to do something and it's like well you're not you don't have like a plan like you don't have a plan that would have actually prevented like these spree shootings and you don't have a plan. You don't have a plan that would have actually prevented these spree shootings,

and you don't want to talk about the overwhelming majority of gun crime deaths, which are handguns and gang-related violence and revenge killings. It's mostly suicides. Two-thirds is suicide. Two-thirds is suicide, but I don't even... That's also super fucking manipulative, where they include suicide numbers in the gun deaths because it's like... You know what you're doing and you're making shit up. That's like including suicides where people park their car in their garage and vehicular deaths, right? And they don't do that.

When they talk about deaths caused by cars killing pedestrians, they don't include the people who parked their car in the garage and gassed themselves. Because why would you? It doesn't make any fucking sense. Yeah, that's a good comparison. Yeah, one more thing and then we should switch topics. He used a Slidefire stock. All of his guns had Slidefire stocks on them. I happen to have a crate of those motherfuckers. And the price of them is on the rise.

I got them for free. I think it used to be $350. I think I gave a few out to friends and family. I might have one you gave me. You do. I gave you one. I wasn't going to call you out. I wouldn't have thrown it away.

I just don't know where it is. Don't. They're worth $500 to $750 today, tomorrow. Next week will be a grand. So get them all the pot. I'll make about $10,000, $12,000 next week, something like that. I hope you do. That would be great.

That won't be too hard. I have the best Friend Zone video I've ever seen. Do you guys want to watch it together? Yeah. Let's go. Fringe time. Swick? these are great so uh just a quick word on this before we hit play together uh be sure to pay careful attention to the girl's face uh-huh all right uh is everyone queued up at zero? Yep. Ready, set, play.

I don't know why I pointed out the face thing. It's been a couple weeks since I've seen it. You won't miss it. Yeah, they zoom in. Fucking Celine Dion. I know, right? We're just friends. She said she knows you hang out with many girls and she is nothing. Yeah, I know. I know that he is always hanging out with other friends. But it's okay. I can't say anything because I'm not... Nothing. I'm nothing.

I don't know how to say it but I'm not his girlfriend. I'm just friends. Whatever. Oh So I don't know where this goes from here, but I Poor thing oh man. I want to find find that chick she's kind of cute right yeah throw her i want to steal that chick while he's sitting there yeah grab that pussy she'd be up for it yeah like at some point you know when you hear people bitch about the friend zone it's like at some point you like you can only blame yourself for still choosing to reside there like why are you continuing to be a little bitch and being like of course i'll pick you up from the library and get your laundry and do that maybe this will be the chance you know when i pull the lever and enough sex tokens come out that i can get some like no all that does is

make them less attracted to you because they realize they can manipulate you into doing anything if anything if you totally ghosted her. Well, you've got to make a move. Or better yet, talk to another girl, one that's either more or less attractive than you, doesn't matter, in front of her. That would help. Woody has a lot of advice for sure. Yeah. I've built a million channel YouTube.

Mill Monday. Based on this concept. And I agree with Taylor. I think that the friend's owner is sometimes not completely blameless in this, that they know what they're doing sometimes, not every time. But it's like this person is an ego-building tool for me. So every so often I toss them a bone.

I cuddle back. I touch their knee too and give them that hope so that they stay in the friend zone making me feel good. That's my backup plan. Just enough for Whifflepussy to keep them stuck. Yeah, and then Quibblecop nailed it. What that relationship needs is movement.

Make a move. You will either win or you will lose in this thing, but you won't be in that zone anymore. Disambiguate what's happening here. Make a move, and then you'll either get what you're looking for or you'll get the next one. But you can't stay there. That's been the way that I laid this out. It's like dating.

Like, you don't go on 10 dates with a girl when on date seven you still haven't fucked or done anything, and it's like, oh, well, maybe it's still coming. I know a few. I know a few. I mean, I'm sure. Yeah, but the people you know who do that, they don't end up

getting laid in the end right because it doesn't pan out because the other chick's just like oh fuck yeah free meal ticket you know with this kind of wimpy loser or whatever like you gotta be you gotta be faster you gotta make your intentions known because the longer after you meet the person that you make their intentions known the more you seem like a sneaky kind of male feminist, weak baboon kind of male that has to sneak in when the alpha males are out to get some sex. Times have changed. Quibble Cop, is he

right? Because it took way longer than that for me to get laid with Jackie. Oh, I'm just saying from my perspective. Of course, that was like 92, right? Things have changed I think. It's always been the same, but it really depends where you are,

what kind of person you are, and how you do things, right? The speed of dating has definitely gone into warp speed. You get laid on the first date with Tinder. That's a common thing. I would say 40% of the time. It's a pretty easy system. Demonstrate value. Engage physically.

Okay? Nurture dependence. Neglect emotionally. Inspire hope. And then, separate entirely. It's the dentist system. That's the dentist system.

By the end of dinner, I'm already neglecting emotionally. I'm on my phone. Let's just like... Let her know right off the bat. you don't need her if you went to the right dinner place you won't need it anymore right because you got the call back yes went to you know handy cafe let her know she's got to get in there before the waitress does oh go ahead Taylor how have you been doing on tinder recently uh honestly i haven't been doing

it as much the last uh couple weeks why not i'm getting ready for a move and i've been just more busy with stuff but um it i mean in the last couple weeks there have been he means how it's not a relationship successes people...successes. How many successes would you say... Let's say over an eight-week period. Since you've been using Tinder, how much success, suck-cess, would you say that you've had? I'd say that I've had...

five successes. That's a pretty good batting average, considering that in the early weeks, of course, you were just getting your feet wet, as they say. And that's not a foot sex thing. But it accelerates, because in the beginning, you don't have any matches and stuff, so you've got to start off.

But after you get some matches in, I'll get a couple, and I'll be like, oh, she matched with me. I must have swiped on her days ago. Well, I'm not reaching out to her until this next thread burns out. And then that thread burns out and you send that person a message and you see. And eventually, through this system, you will find someone to marry. Probably.

I'm kidding. I want to meet someone to marry out and about. Right. Because that seems more normal. Nah, fuck it. Nah, that's normal. This isn't 1990. This isn't that weird. Like I remember like watching like this thing on 2020 about like the – that wasn't a direct thing at you, Woody.

I'm listening to see where this goes. After you reacted, I was like, oh, he thinks I'm talking about um i was watching this thing on 2020 or something like that it was like a throwback youtube video of like this couple had had discovered each other over the internet and like a chat room and it was like they did a whole news story about it like and they were they were two fugly people but it they had found each other via this chat room or whatever and there was a whole damn news story about it but that's not the case anymore i i can remember you know eight ten years ago thinking about like those match.com type things about that's how that's kind of a loser loser kind of thing and like i wouldn't want to do that and but like now it's like oh my god why would you even waste your time out there what it's like that line from oh brother we're

out there the uh pappy o dan the politician's walking into the radio station, and his son, the main characters are out in the parking lot, and the son's like, ain't you going to press the flash, Pappy? Press the flash means go over there and shake hands with them and impress upon them the need to vote for him. He's like, we ain't one at a time in it here. We mass communicating. He's going into the radio station.

That's how dating works right now you're not one at a time in it here wasting your time but you're mass community taylor said it though so it must exist at least a little bit right and i've heard other people say current people that like you know back in the day if you met online you'd lie and say you met at a bar and if you met at a bar you'd lie and say you met at a bar. And if you met at a bar, you'd lie and say you met at like a wedding or something. There's still a thing where like meeting online isn't thought of as the same way as like being coworkers or something. Not the same way, but I think that's changing quickly because my view on it has changed. Like the whole, my perspective on Tinder or eHarmony or whatever all the dating sites and apps are,

like has evolved in just like the last eight weeks where it went from like this is a little odd to like oh this just makes sense this is efficiently sifting through people seeing what the interest level is like and then you you know eventually you go on a date or something and then it either works out and you go back somewhere maybe and hang out even more or it doesn't work out and you just both go your merry way like it is it's just it is way more efficient and another thing Kyle's right about like talking to so many people or so many girls at once is like you'll have to go back through if you have like four chats going at the same time and you want to like say a clever comment to

them you have to go back and like make sure you didn't already use that one on them because, of course, you rinse and repeat so, so many of these because it's just easier that way to just use the same lines. Oh, please. It's not like Bill Bird comes up with a new special for every fucking club he goes into. No. Everybody gets the same special.

Maybe next year we'll come up with some new material. Maybe not. Maybe we stretch this out two or three years. Coming up with the same joke. Some A-B testing, you know. You set out A to 5 and then B to 5 and see, okay, well there's an 80% success rate with this one. You know, get

that one in place. Tweak it a little bit. You know, I do the same with my YouTube videos, but this is definitely something you could do too scientific poontang testing i like it yeah i i mean i i i pick girls up that i met in real life and uh uh but i use a similar i say the same things to them in real life and like i mean. I like to share pictures. Not in a dirty way. Look how big it is.

I mean, look. I have pulled 10 more. Look, look how big it is. I've been losing weight. I hooked up with this girl. There's a Snapchat filter that will make some money. I love to do Big Mac menus. I'll tell you the really scummy

I guess kind of like dirty move I pulled on a girl in Florida that I met like she was working for someone that she was working with someone that I was working with and very attractive and she was single and I was like oh yeah let me show you some pictures of what I do

or whatever and I'm showing her these pictures on my phone of like places I've done places I've been to and like things I've done and like stuff I'm up to and like oh yeah look at this thing and it's just like and dick pic and just on purpose just show her the dick pic and she's like ahhhh ahhhh oh I'm sorry sorry I won't do that again I won't do that again I promise I'm sorry I'm sorry like here's a tank and here's another tank and yeah yeah and here's Sedona, Arizona at sunset. And dick, dick, dick. And it's like, no.

She wouldn't come back to look at the phone some more if she wasn't hoping there'd be some more dick. And sure enough, she played it coy. But within two months of texting her, now it's like, ah, come back down to Florida and stay with me. And got her. Got her. I'm on vacation to Rome. And then my asshole picks. Before and after bleach. It is bleached, yeah.

Here's the Eiffel Tower, and here's my Eiffel Tower. Here I am aroused in a Wendy's parking lot. I want to say that it was a dare, but I just felt like it. I'm that type of guy. That's not an elementary school you pervert that's a high school yeah i did it during senior soccer practice looks like those are that's boys soccer practice don't ask questions i don't use tinder from my home because i'm very close to a high school and uh like it like i turned tinder on it's like oh no these this isn't good this

isn't good but when i when i when i go to another you know i'll set the location to just another place another place let's just say and uh or especially when i'm traveling which is when i really like to use it um i i really like to to to use anything and everything at my disposal when i'm traveling at the facebook rocking at, get the Twitter rocking, get Tinder rocking. And I enjoy doing that because I like, you know, if I go on a vacation, then I'm already doing some cool shit, right, that I can include the girl on. Whereas if I'm just at home, it's like, hey, you want to come over and suck my dick? You want to go on PKA?

You want to go on PKA? No, not that. Wait, wait, wait. You want to go on, you want to suck my dick while I'm on PKA? No! Wait, wait, wait. You want to go on... You want to suck my dick while I'm on PKA? Yeah, you want the back of your head on PKA? Oh, that's happened. You want to make my belt, like,

make some sound and stuff? That thing literally happened. But, you know, if I'm at home, I'm super lazy. That was pre-camera. Yeah, yeah. I've seen some videos where it was during the podcast. Yeah, I think so, probably. That's what I was referencing.

Yeah, that's happening too. It's like, you want to come watch three hours of Curb Your Enthusiasm and suck my dick a couple times? Nah! But if I'm traveling, it's like, hey, you want to come and we'll go to a baseball game today and then tomorrow I'm doing this big thing like, hey, you want to come? And we'll go to a baseball game today. And then tomorrow I'm doing this big thing.

And you can come and, like, check it all out. And then, you know, we'll go eat at this restaurant and that. And, you know, I'm doing things. And she can come and do the things. And if you're in a different town and you find a girl who just wants to have some casual fun. Yeah. She is more confident about it, too, because she's like, all right, this guy's only here for two days. And so I can can we can fool

around and have a great time and then I can go back to my friend group never mention this and no one will judge me yeah this is gonna be like one of those romantic novels that my mom used to always read and I'd sneak this is a this is a traveler from afar traveler from afar from

Georgia like is that sign? The land of peaches. Like I'm a sailor who just came into port or something and I gotta head back to Spain. Yeah. Yeah. The sailor said brandy.

Have you used online dating Queb or no? Yeah, yeah. Back in the day never, never worked out. And then a year and a half ago, almost a year and a half ago, I just went to, while traveling, I met this lovely lady. And we just really got, you know, it just clicked.

And been in love since. But right now, she just went under in surgery. Well, 24 hours ago. For everybody wondering. Because I told the guys on the show. But that's why I jumped away earlier and turned my camera off. And now she's biologically female? Well, actually, she now has a massive penis.

Too nice. Way bigger than mine. Well, actually, what I did was I went from 30 to 15, and I gave her the other 15. So centimeters, that is. Yeah, centimeters. I followed. So now we take turns, and I'm really loving it. And the pooping is going pretty hard

though. It hurts a little bit. You don't have to tell me. Lower back injury, if you know what I mean. Much lower back. Lower back injury I think is the fake injury of all professional athletes. Yeah? Yeah.

It's killing me right now. I moved furniture all day yesterday. I've never seen an NHL player miss a game because of hemorrhoids or testicular torsion or all the things that can happen to regular people. They just have lower back injuries all the time. Yeah, and also for scouting reports, right? If your right knee is bothering you, you probably don't want to broadcast that because then the defense is going to hit you in the right knee.

They say that, though. They'll say high ankle sprain, knee sprain, ACL tear or something. Maybe not anymore. In the NHL, they say upper or lower body usually. Is that just the playoffs or is that always now? No, that's always now. Because it used to be. Yeah, it didn't used to be like that.

But they'd be like, look out, Mario Lemieux hurt that goddamn left knee again. And everybody would be like, for no reason, like, fucking, fucking idiots. Unless, I haven't followed pro sports like I used to. But does the NHL still, I mean, the NFL, I mean to say, still tell you exactly what's wrong? Do you know, Kyle? I have no idea. I don't like the not standing for the flag thing i i at all and i take it pretty pretty seriously i guess i you know i'm not gonna fucking

complain about it all day i'll be a little bitch about it but like really don't like that and you know it started with kaepernick protesting because he didn't he thought that um blacks were being treated unequally by law enforcement and maybe that's true but i i still don't like what he's doing and the way he did it and also i don't let i really despise all the people um with naacp al sharpton all those characters being like oh he if he needs to be on a team someone someone should hire him or we're gonna do this we're gonna do that it's like no he got fucking cut for a reason like like this is a meritocracy it's like nfl if he could throw the ball, he'd be playing.

He just happens to be an asshole who can't play well. Yeah, I think in 2015, he was ranked literally the 30th starting quarterback in the league when he was starting for the 49ers. Was he starting that year? But he's not a backup either, right? The way I've heard it said, because I don't follow football well enough to make my own judgment, but the people who do say this. He's good enough to be in the NFL.

That's not deniable. There are definitely people in the NFL right now who are not as good as him. You said he's 30th, right, two years ago. Let's pretend that's still current. Well, you know, there's at least what? There's a quarterback and a backup quarterback, and they may even have a third string on every team. Yeah, so what are the 32 teams?

It's like 64 quarterbacks, 90 quarterbacks, and he's the 30th best. The way they phrased it, and it sunk in with me, was he's not good enough. He's good enough to play, but he's not good enough to be in the NFL if he's a distraction. Yeah. Because it's baggage. Because it would cost that team money.

Because enough people would be like, oh, I'm not supporting the fucking Jacksonville Jaguars. They already are. You know how I watch the Falcons play? On YouTube. If you want to. Look, YouTube is the wild fucking west with their live streams now. I watch all of my favorite cartoons on their live stream. I wanted to watch UGA play the other day. By the way,

fucking Bulldogs, I am on the bandwagon. I'm attached. I'm in the front seat of that motherfucking bandwagon. Yeah! Fucking horses like it's gun smoke. Rate fifth in the nation. I love the way Kyle owns it. Yeah.

But if they're trailing in the second half, I'm out of here. We won 42 to nothing in the last game. And I know a lot of people don't like games like that. They'd rather have a nail biter. I was every second of them. But they sucked last year.

Fuck it up. Give it to them. And I watched that shit. I couldn't get it on my sling. It wasn't anywhere on my Sports South. And I watched that shit. I couldn't get it on my Sling. It wasn't anywhere on my Sports South shit or any of that stuff. I Google, I search on YouTube UGA live and boom, there it is.

HD quality to go full screen on that shit. Cast it over to my TV and I'm good to go. I did the same thing with the NFL games the other night because they're not getting a dime out of me. I'm not even, I don't even think they technically get any money if I watch an NFL game on Sling. I don't know how that works. Maybe they already got the money because it's part of the package that I pay for.

I don't know. But I'm not watching it there because it'll get counted. I'm going to watch some jackass live streaming his NFL day pass on YouTube. YouTube has everything on the live things. And it lasts so long. They don't fuck with it. If there's a new Rick and Morty coming out, Rick and Morty marathon,

the 10th episode's coming out. We'll just play the first nine first and then get to the 10th when it's live. It's sick. I love it. We're in an age where media is... Remember when... Was it called DMR? What's it called with all the devices it seemed like

five years ago? They were talking about, oh, this device can't play that, or you have to have this key for this to work, and it seems like everything's getting... DRM, digital rights management. Thank you. Everything felt like it was getting locked down, and it felt really like dystopian future all of a sudden, where it was like, ah, damn, will I

even be able to play my DVDs without putting my ID into the machine first? gameplay on a playstation and all that worse and then here comes youtube in 2017 with we don't with a we don't give a fuck policy unless the nfl comes directly to us and says hey stop stop that falcon stream right now otherwise they just let it ride and there's like 300 streams you're like which one number number 19 okay yeah and then if one goes down there's another one boom because it's just instantaneous people make new channels because it's not like it's i see i see the guys who run these streaming channels me like hey guys if you're enjoying the show uh maybe subscribe and it's like please what your channel will be gone in a week your channel's gone next week and then

you just make a new one you's gone next week and then you just make a new one you stream some more it and i will say this the guy i was watching what uga was blowing them the fuck out and he was like hey guys uh this is kind of over you guys want to watch the alabama game and everybody was like or whatever was on it there was a vote in the comments i voted no my my voice was not heard though so he just fucking switched his channels and I immediately found another stream so I could watch the rest of the fucking UGA blow out it was beautiful

do you ever find people that add flavor to the stream? because I like that there's some people who do NHL streams that I'll watch and in commercial breaks they'll play a clip from Step Brothers or play something from a movie that if something like like they'll play like a clip from Step brothers or play something from a movie that has something to do with the play

That just happened like if some got to get like crushed and you get some like witty clever remark from Clint Eastwood in a 1952 man, no it's limitations. Yes exactly something like that and it's like you get a little giggle out of Watch hockey this year. I think. I already am. This is big talk. We beat the Pens last night with four major injuries. That's a Taylor's credit.

It'd be we if we lost. Have I saved? We suck too. But this might be big talk. I want to play hockey this year. I think the next seasons will start up in January. I know I'm just walking now, but I think I'd like to play in January See if I can get out there That would be cool

Fucking GoPro that shit up I want 60 frames per second though I would really enjoy seeing that I might need some warm up Before I'm ready to show anyone where I am Nah here's what you do You just speed the footage up a little bit Editing

Selectively edit for sure to show anyone where I am. No, here's what you do. You just speed the footage up a little bit, editing, and you just... Selectively edit for sure. You speed it up a little, like you said, remove all the negative stuff. It's not live streaming. And put together a Woody highlight reel. At my very best, I was in the bottom half of the A-League,

and then I was MVP of the whole B-League one time. But I think the current me belongs of the A-League. And then I was MVP of the whole B-League one time. But I think the current me belongs in the C-League or maybe not even that good in the C-League. We'll see. We just had our first game last night. And Brayden Shen, formerly of the Philadelphia Flyers, on your team, Woody, we traded for him this year. You guys got Jory Letera, this Finnish guy who sucks dick at hockey.

But, you know, we got – you guys basically took him, and we took more salary for you and gave you some picks because he was that bad for us. And he – Braden Shen, first goal of the season for the Blues, he gets it. And we're up 4-2 on the pens. And I just linked this G gif and he had the biggest fuck up moment in that i've seen in hockey like in a while where we were already on the penalty kill here so we're a man short and like 15 seconds into this penalty kill you can watch

what he does and and all of you will know even even Kyle, that is not allowed. Why doesn't everyone do that? He catches it. He catches the puck out of the air and then just throws it out of the zone, which obviously is not a hockey move. And so from that, he had to go to the box for two minutes. And so we were down three on five. They scored two and then tied

it up four to four thankfully we won in overtime look at the penguins player right behind him like what the fuck hold on let me i'm having a hard time getting it all on screen there we go so for people who don't know you can use your hand on the on the puck so was he on defense there i assume that's why he was throwing it was yeah yeah so if you're on defense, you can't grab your hand around it, but you can bat it. So what he needed to do in that situation is almost like side swipe it. And if you're on defense, another player can go play it. If you're on offense, then you have to play it to your own stick. That's how the rule goes. But yeah, this is beyond the pale like i was watching this

yeah he really like you just scored a goal for us and i was all hyped on braden shen and then he just just throws the puck out of there then the leads but thankfully we won because but he's never going to hear the end of that in his whole nfl nhl career i mean i've watched hockey for so long and i've never ever seen somebody throw the puck out of their own zone. Ever. Like, it's kind of embarrassing, but a little funny. But, anyway. Hockey talk.

Yep. That's enough. Hockey talk. Great. You got Beatrice Johnson. Beatrice Johnson going to beat up Borg? Ray Borg, yeah. I guess so.

He's getting pay-per-view points if he can. Who else is on that card? Kevin Lee. They're fighting for the interim belt at 155, I think. Kevin Lee apparently is like 19 pounds. He's got to lose 19 pounds in 24 hours, which for people who don't know for 155 pounder that's a good significant yeah man i uh i like uh ferguson in that for sure uh the more i obviously

he's ranked higher he's like third or something and lee's ranked seventh or something like that um and ferguson i want to see ferguson connor fight that's that's the fight i want i hope habib i want habib to get beaten up by somebody. I'm scared of Habib. Habib is Conor's kryptonite, you would think. Because, like, I don't think that he's gonna... He's not gonna pull an Eddie Alvarez and go in there and forget his whole goddamn game plan.

He's gonna be trying to take Conor down the whole time, trying to make him into Michael Johnson 2.0 and just smash! Habib takes people down, and his ground and pound game is suffocating. He is on you like a man 50% heavier than he is. He's all over you, holding you down, smothering you, and dropping elbows and punches and grinding and grinding and beating you, and you're just hoping the round ends soon.

Kyle's completely right in everything he said. But just to play devil's advocate, there have been other grapplers. You know, like Mendes was Conor's kryptonite. And Jose Aldo, also a black belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu, was supposed to have that advantage over Conor. And then Eddie Alvarez, that he mentioned, was supposed to be a guy who could take people down and be Conor's kryptonite. So here comes... All I have is Taramisu.

Why can't I remember his name? Habib. Habib. Nurba Gameto. Yeah, Habib Nurba Gameto. Yeah, I forgot that. And, you know, is he going to... Like, everybody else has not been a grappler against him.

There must be some reason. You know, he is the master of range and maybe the best at handling range in the whole UFC. Maybe they're like, damn it, I can't shoot from here. I'll just collect a knee or something. I don't know. That'd be beautiful, right? Like, I'd love for Khabib to shoot on Conor and eat a fucking, one of those gruesome highlight knees

that's just square, not on the chin, but in the middle of the face. Fucking hit him right in the nose and crush his fucking Russian nose. I want there to be so much blood that they gotta stop and get a doctor to look at his

fucking nose to see if it's still there. Like, oh yeah, that's it. It's old. Did you ever see Rich Franklin's fight? The first or second one against Silva? So Rich Franklin is the 185 pound champion at this point. And he's only had like two defenses,

but he's thought to be a guy who's going to get five or seven defenses. You know, be a really dominant champion for some longer period of time and Silva was like third best in pride or something like he wasn't even known to be that big of a killer I think people even wondered if he deserved his title shot and then he got Franklin in a Muay Thai clinch need him in his face and his nose was it seemed like it moved an inch. It was crazy. And he was, Rich Franklin was so good looking, it'd be like Luke

Rockhold's face getting wrecked. And everyone's like, oh! It just seems like it's a bigger tragedy. Yeah, yeah. Destroy something beautiful. The worst nose injury or nose whooping that I've seen in the UFC was when Robbie Lawler just kept hitting the Canadian Psycho in the fucking nose round after round with that fucking jab.

And then finally hits him with a right. And it's just, I don't know if it was a KO or a TKO. I don't know how they scored it. But it's a TKO in my book because he went down from pain. He went down from the sheer pain of having his nose broken for the fourth time in that fight, and this time it was a fucking straight right that just smashed it flat. And it was already just looked like he'd been mauled by a dog.

His face was gruesome. We watched that fight in a theater in Chicago, and that's one of the greatest sporting experiences I've ever had in my life. Like that was as thrilling as like the high school basketball games that I'd go to back in high school. We were the rude crew or whatever,

like the hardcore fans down there with our bottles full of like beans. Just making fun of the guy on the other team who didn't have a hand. They were called the bleacher creatures in my high school. We played against a team that put the guy on the other team who didn't have a hand bleacher creatures in my high school we played against a team that put a guy on the court with only one hand fucking made fun of that kid don't care we're the rude crew came out there with that came out there with that flipper bring that we went flipper faster than lightning him, you'll see.

It was mean. Yeah. Mean shit. And the teachers didn't give a fuck. Like, trust me. All the teachers heard this shit. We were the rude crew. We got, you know, we do our work too.

We didn't reason. I had teachers in class praising the bleacher creatures. And they were just like you described. They were no better. I really wasn't part of it. They wrote a newspaper article about how the Rude Crew wasn't as hardcore as they used to be. And we saw it and was like, ah. A simple Voltron.

Get the whistles. Like, we need an air. I don't remember. I think they use air horns to like stop the the game or whatever we need air horns to like stop the game like when they're like like on a run advantageous positions yeah like fucking and then and then fucking just pass it's just it's passed it behind backs and it's it's moved 50 people in just a second and they're they're looking for it trying to figure out who's got the air horn. Just real shitty high school kids. You and me are a group of fools.

That's home court advantage. They stop the game when things are going well for you. Yeah, they are. And we were all white kids. Our team, I mean, we had a 5'9 white guy as one of our better players, right? I mean, we were not an all-star team, but we could squeeze out some victories if you press that home court advantage just a little bit.

Are sports a big deal where you're from, Quibble Cop? In high school sports? Well, we call it soccer, right? But you don't really go to high school or uni and have a team. You don't go to the Amsterdam University and go, yeah, go Amsterdam University baseball team or basketball team. But if the Dutch football team is playing uh like everybody dresses

up in orange and like all the streets are orange and especially if they get pretty far which they do every night did every now and then back in the day um where's the farm system where do the players come from if it's not like in the schools so uh it's uh we have clubs um and then you know every city has a few clubs and the biggest city has a as a few uh as a bunch of clubs and you would pretty much uh like do it as a as a hobby after school after work whatever um and then you go and play for the teams and if you're good you're like first you're in like the they rank it on age you're in like the eighth uh eighth highest of your age and then you can move all the way down to the first and then you get scouted by a better better a better team right and they say yo we want we want you and you'll be placed in our fifth best team.

And that one can move to the first. And then obviously, depending on previous years of performance in the leagues, as some teams will play professionally, some teams won't. And every year, two get kicked out and two get placed back into the really big league. And then from the really big leagues in the Netherlands, only the top will compete throughout Europe. I wonder how efficiently they pick the best players. I wonder if there's a guy three levels down

who really belongs at the top level. Well, most of the time, if you're just doing it as a hobby for fun it doesn't really matter which which level you're in and i we had that where uh you know i was i was a little kiddo uh playing football and then i was getting swapped out for this fucking guy who had some supreme genetics and who was a 14 year old on steroids you know what i mean um who is like just destroying everybody on the field but he just enjoyed the team and he was like i don't kind of want to go to the next level plus it's really hard to become a professional

because you need to be not just one of the best you need to do it the time. You need to obviously have a little bit of luck to end up in a good team. And then on top of that, you need to survive your career without getting any injuries, which happens a lot if you're a professional. I feel like collegiate sports here

induce such passionate fans because what you said about the yeah the netherland university guys they aren't like oh yeah another university man that universities here create lifelong fans especially acc yeah but but you guys do universities all of it in the in the netherlands it's with cities so you grow up in the city and everybody in the city is you know for that one team um but it's not really universities that's just the difference between professional and university for us because like like i'll be oh i'm all about the st louis

teams but i also like the mizzou teams like even though that's a ways away i didn't grow up there and i didn't spend time there other than college, it's just, you know. I know a girl whose, like, entire family went to Georgia Tech. You know, they went to school there. They paid money to go. They weren't just born in that locale. They all put down tens and tens of thousands of dollars and spent years of their life electing to go to this place where it's ingrained in you to be a big supporter of the yellow jackets and so forever more she will be a yellow jacket fan like there's no getting around

it like she could move locations she could live in another city like there's no no way she's ever going to root for the so uga you know one of the one of the crazy things uh you know about america is you get this university uh or even high schools which is which are like huge and they have sporting sport facilities and some fucking stadiums oh yeah right yeah and i'm like why you you're there's no way a high school in amsterdam where it's prime real estate you know it's gonna have like have like a fucking stadium over there. First of all, the schools don't make any profit. It's all state-funded most of the time.

And there's no way they're going to say, yeah, you know, this park or all these houses, gone. They've been there for 600 years. Take them down. We're placing a football field or a basketball court let's do this they do that where we are like there's just so much i went to ocean city high school there's no room right the the island is like but then again how wide is america right yeah and the the football field which is you know the track in, which is, you know, the track and it is like, I don't know,

a block from the beach. It's very expensive real estate. And, uh, but I don't understand that reaction, but they still put it there. Yeah. I mean,

you can, it's right by the boardwalk, you know, it's expensive. In the Netherlands. Is there a second most popular sport that some people follow, or is it just soccer? No, no, no. We've got a bunch.

So one of the really big ones right now is Formula 1, F1. Oh, easy barrier to entry. Okay. Yeah. So, you know, Max Verstappen, he's a Dutch kiddo, as far as I know. Or he's at least from the area. And then we have

Ice Skating, which is pretty big. What is it? Cycling? What do you call it? Cycling. Is it just cycling? Loads of them them competing Tour de France

which is a you know, just a few hours south and swimming Pretty big and then we also have a really good guy on the pole the Yeah. Yeah. Gymnastics. Gymnastics, yes. I think those are like the biggest sports. But obviously, there's basketball. There's hockey, too. And there's baseball. But for me, those aren't really big sports.

Yeah. Sports are interesting. I think they say a little something about the society in which they're played. American sport, like look at Russian wrestling. It says good things. Look at Russian wrestling. I was watching Chael talk about this Russian wrestler the other day. I saw it.

You saw it? Did you watch the match afterwards of the American beating him? More than one. So Chael goes on and on about this Russian wrestler who's just a phenom who I don't know very much about wrestling, but he

skips like three or four levels of competitive wrestling and goes all the way to the seniors or whatever. He just destroys everyone at 20 years old. And then he runs into this American. I think the American's name is Kyle. While the American was larger,

I guess that didn't matter. He traditionally was in a higher weight class, but this guy raised his weight class to match the American. The American beats the unbeaten Russian. It was a big deal. Chael really... If I hadn't heard Chael tell the story,

I would have given two shits. Like, who cares? But Chael pumped it up and explained the gravity of the match. And then I was like, well, shit. I don't think I've ever watched a full wrestling match ever, but I'm about to. And I watched that thing, and I really enjoyed watching it.

It was cool. Yeah. Chael has a gift for storytelling yeah he's got a good cadence I like his driving and talking thing he's often got inside information and lots of insight and experience within wrestling especially and I don't like Chael's

podcast Chael's podcast is not very good if people haven't seen it he argues way too much with the guy he's like legitimately mad at him and the other guy doesn't set him up or come prepared the other guy is terrible i can see why he keeps earning chael's wrath and i don't think it's fake and then on top of that i don't know they don't come prepped it's an hour long but I feel like afterwards I'm taking away three minutes worth of stuff. Then Chael does these driving videos, and it's

well-paced. It's not just entertaining. It sucks you in. It's compelling. All he's doing is driving and talking to a camera, and six minutes later he's done his thing, and that's where Chael belongs. Yeah, man. I like that a lot. That story was great. that was really cool yeah um yeah fuck that russian guy what i

was getting at is russian is like a state sponsored national sport of russia so to go there and beat that guy was it was a huge fucking deal you know that would be like be like a russian coming over here and like a russian football team american football team coming over here and trouncing the patriots or something you look whoa what have they been cooking up over there you know like it's it's a big deal to do that yeah and it was the it was the worlds and it wasn't just this guy's match it was a team thing u.s versus russia and they went last and it all came down to this russian phenom against this american and the american won and then edged him out edged him out

and then the american team wins and and everything was on the line and he came through yeah when he shook the russian coach's hand that russian coach was disgusted that That Russian coach, that guy's going to the Gulag. You could tell. This wasn't just about losing a wrestling match. Putin is going to... Well, he's already killed my family. I know he has. He got me a text message.

They're all dead. Mama too. You sound just like... What's that guy called again? FPS Russia. It's crazy. Yes, very much like him. Him. Him.

You always sound like you're going to swallow some spit. Yeah. Yeah. Serious business. I sometimes practice my accents now. I'll be in the pool rehabbing my leg and it's like, alright, Woody, there's only two things wrong.

You don't know how to say it and you don't know what to say. That's what's holding me back. The only two things. It's tough. You almost forget the what to say, how important it is. I think I could work out how to say it if it's like, well, what would Conor McGregor say in this situation?

Because he wouldn't phrase it like me. He has his own punchlines and such. And if you can get those, yeah you don't always know inside the mind you have to listen to them obsessively you have to listen to them over and over and over like you want you go to rounders and do watch malkovich doing the russian accent which is just a comically bad russian accent i mean nobody sounds like that. Yeah. What does he say? Pay this man his money. He beat me.

Straight up. Yeah. Nobody sounds like that. He's over there fucking cracking those Oreos apart. The movie's fucking ridiculous. Oh, it's a good movie. And you might think you know what Connor would say, but it's like, all right, now do Connor pitching Total Warhammer.

And now you're out of words. And that's what happens to me when I try to do accents. Yep. You gotta get inside the mind of people. What do you hear? It's fucking nothing. I'm really good with the Dutch accent. Hello, I like to eat all the wheat

and smoke it all the time. We love cheese and we love what's it called? We houden van de wiet en smoken het altijd. We houden van de vlees en de windmels. En groene energie. Ja, dat is geweldig. Is dat je Nederlandse accent? Ja, dit is Nederlandse. De Duitse accent is mijn favor Yes. The German accent is my favorite. This is my accent.

I heard that. He has a very strong German accent. He has a very strong German accent. Woody's gamertag, I like it. Woody's gamertag, I like it. I feel a little dirty. I feel a little dirty. I would love to see Nazi Kwebbelkop

I would love to see Nazi Kwebbelkop interrogate Mr. Lapid over here there's Jews under his floorboard Can I interview you for a second? Hello this is Kwebbelkop the German SS officer I've heard I've heard a lot about The Jews hiding here. Oh, we're here cupboards He could be hiding the whole time I've heard about the Jews No Jews over here get the fuck out of my house. Who are you get out? They're not Jews in here

She's jumped in okay well it's it's the old jewish man who's smoked a carton of cigarettes a day you'd be dead if it wasn't for my son david strong jeff goldblum from independence day now it's jeff goldblum's father in this entire organization what's the president doingum's father. Father, that's right. In this entire organization, what's the president doing? He's not going to solve anything. I need my son. My son, David. You knew about this. What do you call it?

The Area 51. What do you call it? The Area 51. You'll know. You'll know. This guy just barges in and everybody's like, I guess we can't get rid of him He's in the Air Force one now That's how I imagine the Trump presidency works like just random people just coming in there. Just just babbling

Like and you know the Joint Chiefs try to shut him out and I was like, let's give him a chance here. Hang on I'm tired of you blackballing me. I'm trying to come give you some advice and you're not taking it seriously I'd like you to take it. You've done, I would be fine skipping tax reform entirely if we get this fluoride situation under control. It's beyond the pale. Now they're spraying it from the sky. Did you know that, Don? Did you know that, Don? I saw it

myself with my two eyes. What about the moon base? Not real. Or actually, no, wait. Too real. Or actually, no, wait. Too real. I feel like he just makes whatever he believes up on the spot. Yeah, yeah.

Did you see that guy threw hot coffee on him the other day on the streets? Yeah, I did see that. He's like walking down the streets just interviewing Americans about politics and stuff. Some guy recognized him, I guess, and started talking some shit. I don't remember what Alex was saying. He's like, you're a coward. You're a coward and a cowardly individual. Look at him. This is the left, folks.

This is a bleeding heart liberal right. And the guy just fucking dumps his coffee. And Alex is like, yeah, I don't mind a bit. Dump the coffee on me. I'm the one out here taking the hits for the American people. I'll take that shot for the American people. That's fine with me. He like slicks his hair back like he doesn't give a shit and just keeps interviewing people.

He handled it well. Not quite as well as Schwarzenegger back in the day when the guy egged him while he was running for governor of California. And they're like, governor, I saw a guy hit you with some eggs over there. He's like, yeah, he forgot the bacon. He's like, yeah, he forgot the bacon. Supreme Court, did they hear the case about gerrymandering already, or is it coming up? Have you guys followed that at all?

I have no idea. There's something huge happening, and I don't know if they're about to announce a verdict or if they're about to hear the case. Well, when it happens, we'll see it trending on Twitter. That's how I keep informed. I embarrassingly do get a...

He doesn't believe it's happening, according to Chase. I get an embarrassing amount of news from social media. It's not that that's like... It's just where it starts. I learned about the Vegas thing from social media, and then I go to explore. Yeah so that's how most people do it quick uh quick quick question are we gonna go on for much longer with the show i i think uh we can probably wrap place so let me uh let me let me do a couple of uh because the lady's slowly dying here oh i hope not literally let me

uh do some post roles here we just want to remind everyone that the Total War Warhammer series has returned to critical acclaim. Join the battle with four all-new playable races, the Noble High Elves, their murderous cousins, the Dark Elves, the ancient and orderly Lizardmen, and the ravenous, destructive Skaven in the most absorbing, story-driven, real-time strategy game of the year.

Visit TotalWar.com for more information, or head on over to Steam and purchase yourself a copy of Total War Warhammer 2 today. I am going to get my copy as soon as this podcast is over. And we also want to remind you about The Walking Dead No Man's Land. It's the official game for AMC's The Walking Dead. It's a turn-based action strategy game where you battle hordes of walkers with all your favorite characters, including Daryl, Rick, and Michonne. There's tons to do,

and they even added a new hardcore game mode for experienced players called The Distance. Download the free app from the App Store or Google Play, or go to getnomansland.com slash weapon now and get Negan for free. This special offer is only available right now.

Yep. And where can everybody find global cup? You can find global cup a youtube.com slash woody's gamertag. Please subscribe I upload videos about paragliding Breaking legs and Minecraft and called duty and a meal Monday. They all tie together somehow. All of them.

You can check them out. Woody's Gamertag. Just go to YouTube.com slash Woody's Gamertag. Thank you so much. Yep. Check out all of Publicop's videos on Woody's channel. Love having you on here, Queb. Thank you for coming.

Thank you for having me, guys. Especially your girlfriend over there, like half alive. I was like, I cannot bail on PKA. Yeah, man, I don't know why XJaws couldn't make it this week. I hope it wasn't anything. Was he scheduled this week? I thought he was. I think we all had a miscommunication.

Ah, is that the case? Because, well, what the fuck? It was never scheduled. He was never scheduled this week. Two months, guys. Yeah, I thought he was on the 18th. It was fake news. Okay.

What's going on, guys? It's just here. Fake news. I was told by someone that he had tweeted he was going to be on this week, and I guess that was just fake news. Fake news, Kitty. Fake news. This is what happens when you rely on an old Jew like Chiz for your news.

That's right. All right. PKA 355 demonetized.