Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #356

Episode Date: October 20, 2017

This week on PKA, Boogie2988 is back! Really entertaining show as the guys go over Boogie's recent major weightloss surgery, then they over the Harvey Weinstein scandal that's developing and apparently Boogie might be a bastard child. All this & more on this week's PKA.

Painkiller already, episode 356. Kyle? Oh, with our guest boogie, Kyle? A couple sponsors tonight, Stitch Fix, who got me this lovely shirt, Smart Mouth, the Walking Dead mobile game, and Total War Warhammer. The Total War Warhammer series has returned to critical acclaim. Join the battle with four all-new playable races, the Noble High Elves, their murderous cousins, the Dark Elves, the ancient and orderly Liz looks good, by the way. It's reviewing like crazy. Yeah, Kyle and I have been playing it. Yeah.

How difficult would it be for a first-timer for like the Total War series? Have you ever played RTS? Yeah, of course. You pick it up real fast. It's paper, rock, scissors. You know, especially if you focus in on one race and try to get good at them, you'll be good in, you know, 50, 20 hours. The game looks fantastic i love

watching it i watched a few people play it on twitch and i'm like man i really need to pull the trigger and play it you should the combat's so cool looking like once you've got all of your units yeah like in battle you can scroll down and like watch your individual orcs or spearmen or whatever fucking with their opponents like it's great it's great i love it kyle and i've been having a good time so you guys should definitely check that out. Yeah, there's a ton of unique animations. So like, if you're the lizard man, you have a, it's not a Tyrannosaurus,

it's a Parnasaur. It'll do a move where it grabs a guy, flips him up in the air, and then catches him like a dog and eats him. Did Kyle get quiet for you guys? Yeah, what the hell was that, Kyle? Yeah, Jesus. Yeah, come on, Kyle! No, Jesus. Yeah, come on, Kyle. No, wait, wait.

It's my fault. It's clearly Woody's fucking up the production. Well, I'll tell you, I think it's... Anyway. Anyway. I was just fucking with your kids at home. So, Boogie, recently it's been in the news, the internet news, you got your surgery and you're killing it so far.

How much have you lost? About 105 pounds, give or take. I got the gastric bypass surgery at the beginning of August. I got it on August 7th. So we're a little over two, uh, two months out about eight and a half weeks out. Um, and the recovery was a fucking nightmare. Anybody who calls this the easy way out is a fool. Uh, cause the damn near killed me and the amount of misery I went through in the first four weeks, boy, I, you got no idea. Um, but, uh, I lost, uh, let's see about 40 some pounds on the initial, on the initial

pre-op diet. Um, and a lot of that was water weight, obviously stuff like that. I guess it's a huge crash diet. We're eating 800 calories a day, nothing but protein shakes and shit. It was miserable. I had to do that for three weeks to qualify for the surgery. And then post-surgery I'm down another 50 some pounds. Um, and it was like, I'm now, uh, controlled diabetes through just diet and exercise, no medication. My blood

pressure is now medic, uh, finally where it was, uh, where it should be. It's like about one 80 over, uh, 120 over a hundred or 120 over 80, I guess. Um, with medication, a lot of medication. A lot of people don't know this, and I don't really talk about it much on my channel, but the reason we went ahead and got the surgery and the reason my doctor was willing to work on me, even though it was a little bigger than he would have liked, was because I was walking into my doctor's office with a blood pressure of 220 over 120 with medication. So I was just ready to blow any day. Jeez. with medication. So I was just ready to blow any day. And I did not, I wanted to take another crack

at losing it, the diet and exercise way. And I know, I think, I think I could, if I had not done the surgery, the problem is it would have been a lot slower and a lot more difficult to get the diabetes back under control and get the, um, everything else under control. And I certainly couldn't stick to 800 calories a day. I don't have the willpower. Most people don't have that kind of willpower. But that's where I am right now. I'm eating about 1,000 to 1,200 calories a day right now. It's pretty crazy.

Are you sticking to the trajectory pretty well? Did they say their predictions for your weight loss? Are you kind of on point with that? It's actually really creepy because my doctor told me at the four-week mark, he said, expect your weight loss to slow if not stop for about a month and I'm like what that's not gonna happen are you kidding me I'm eating 1200 calories a day that's mathematically impossible yeah because because know your body will begin to rebel it's going to stop creating the

the right hormones it's going to start creating the hormones that tell you to stop burning fat you got to push through it you have to stick to the calorie limits you have to do to the calorie limits. You have to do the exercise. And eventually your body will kick back in. And it did about a week ago. So I managed to lose, I was losing like a pound a week for the last month and then now it's picking back up finally.

So the weight gain had a tie into like a psychological component, right? And it's fun because I had, you know, you've been on the show many times. And you would say things like, you know what, my body is like super efficient at processing food. I'm this and like to what my ears sometimes sounded like, yeah, you know, you're not like eating superpower. You're just eating too much, right? Like there's a touch of denial in there.

Where are we now? Well, they bypass a large portion of, well, I got the, there's several surgeries you can get. There's the lat band where they put a band on you that just restricts your stomachs. It's the least successful surgery. It's got about a 50, 50 chance of losing weight. And a lot of people, when they get that band off, it'll stay in there for years. But if you eventually get the band off or you stop getting it tightened or you get it maxed out, a lot of people put the weight back on or stop losing weight. Um, then there's gastric sleeve where they turn your stomach into like a sleeve. Um, it's a less dangerous surgery, but you have a much higher

eating capacity and there's not a, um, uh, a component where you bypass the small intestines. Uh, I got the RNY, which is gastric bypass where they sever 90% of the stomach and move it off to the side and then create a new tiny stomach about the size of an egg and a lot of people have the misconception you'll stretch out that stomach you'll stretch out the stomach it's actually impossible to stretch out that stomach it just becomes violently painful if you take too much water in or too much anything else some people rarely can stretch it out with severe practice, but you really have to work at it. But what they see, even the people who gain the weight back when they do the autopsies, the stomach is still about the same size. It says your body gets very efficient at

moving the food through that small stomach. So you can eat every 30 minutes if you're dedicated to it, if you really want to do it. That's how most people- So they just leave the other part of your stomach in you? Like they don't remove it? And they completely seal it off. And it still aids in digestion. So what they do is they take a big chunk of the intestines and snip it down here and bring it up to your new stomach. And then they combine the two in like a little V-shape. So all the acid that your regular stomach produces goes down into your intestines, helps you digest the food there.

This is honestly incredible technology and surgical advancement. I always think the opposite. I'm always like, you know what? When you put it like that, it's just sewing and cutting. This seems like something we could have done 300 years ago. If I were a doctor and they told me, you have to come up with a surgery to help, you know, fat people lose weight. I'd be like, I guess, like, just cut out most of the stomach and re-hook it like a car. And then that guy tried it and was like, oh, fuck, it worked.

Yeah. A lot of medicine seems dramatically low-tech to me. You know, like, I broke my leg, right? So what do they do? Ah, stick a plate on the side, drop some nails in there. We'll be good to go. Some screws like that. Yeah. That's eye opening with knee surgeries. Like when you imagine knee surgeries, like you imagine like very intricate, like making sure that the nail and the screws are in the right place. And I watched a video on YouTube of a real leg surgery. This doctor with no tact or precision just had a metal hammer

just like bang, bang, bang, hitting this knee to just shatter it and then kind of like haphazardly put it back together. And it's like, oh, fuck. I don't want to believe that's a surgeon. Yeah, it really is. It really is. I mean, the difference between the medicine we were doing 200 years ago and today, it's night and day, but it's still very practical stuff.

You do it in a much more clinical environment, and the technology is there and stuff. Mine was all done laparoscopically or whatever. This surgery is more than, I think, 40 years old since it was approved by the FDA. So there's a ton of data there. That's why I felt safe getting it. What was the first one? Well So to answer Woody's question, so now I actually, since we bypassed a large portion of that intestines, there's a certain malabsorption that I have, meaning I will take in slightly less of the calories, still most of the calories,

slightly less of the nutrition, still most of the nutrition. So even if I do choose bad foods, and I really haven't yet, but if I do down the road choose bad foods, those foods will not be fully digested. And the upside of that is if something's very sugary or something's very fatty, it tends to make most people very, very sick because you're trying to digest it in your intestines. So it's going to give you some, some people describe dumpies. For me, the one time I had fried food um and they told me it's okay once a month have fried food i had fried food in a pretty much no other opportunity

situation i was at retropalooza this last weekend they brought me my catering it was a chicken chick-fil-a sandwich and i'm like i fuck it i'll have a bite took three bites and immediately regretted it i'm like oh no no i'm not ready for fried food yet. But my symptoms were very minor. But for some people, it'll knock them on their ass, like sweating and headache and miserable. Yeah. I feel like a hater even saying this, and I'm not. I swear in my heart, I'm team boogie. But is it like surgically injected or like mandated discipline, right?

Because like... It's exactly what it is. It's intervention. It's exactly what it is. And that's why a lot of people consider it to be the easy way out or the weak way out. But for a food addict, you know, for a drug addict, you have rehab, right? And I guess there is such a thing as rehab for fat people that it's very far and few between.

There's only a handful of clinics in the country that do it. And most of us, we work nine to five. I work, you know, 60, 70 hours a week sometimes on YouTube, not since the surgery. I've been doing more like 30 or 40, but, um, but I used to work 60, 70 hours a week. I can't run a small business from a clinic, from a rehab facility for eight weeks. I just can't do it. Um, so this was one way to get right back to work three days later and get that intervention. It's surgical intervention. It's too painful there.

Three days, that's ambitious, right? Well, yeah, it turned out it was very ambitious. That's what they tell a lot of people. I don't understand why. And as it turns out for me, it was way different. Mostly, we have a family history of not reacting very well to narcotics. And so they were giving me oxy post surgery to deal with the pain and it floored me i was hallucinating i was telling my wife i was like

honey you got to get that shoe out from under me while i'm like sleeping in the middle of the night she's like what i mean there's suntan lotion all over the fucking place and she's like honey i don't know what the fuck you're talking about the robots are putting suntan lotion on my penis and she's like there's nothing on your penis i promise you steven calm down this is fucking fucking awful dude i was sleeping like is that a real example the robots are putting suntan lotion robots i think i might have known what actually happened there but so one of the coolest things about the surgery that i've talked to several people in the support groups um and everybody has a different experience, but you know how I used to talk about how I could never get full, physically full, and I could never

get mentally satisfied, and I could eat, I could clear out a buffet, and I just would never feel that sensation. With this surgery, my biggest concern was I would still have that mental need to wipe out a buffet, but not physically be able to do it. Well, one of the coolest things I learned about the surgery is your stomach has what's called stretch receptors. And because my stomach had been so stretched out and I was so used to stretching it out, the little brain that lives on top of your stomach, you have this little bundle of nerves that acts kind of like a brain that runs your digestive system. It was not doing a very good job of communicating with my brain because I wasn't doing a very good job of putting it in a situation where it felt satisfied. Once they remove that giant part of my stomach and

there's that tiny little bit left, there's stretch receptors on that tiny little bit. If I take a sip of water, it thinks I've gorged myself. So it just like it's a little caveman, it doesn't know that the rest of my stomach is missing. So it says, Hey brain, we just gorge yourself. If you want to start producing fat producing hormones, that's a good idea. We need to get that shit moving. Um, and so if I take two or three bites of a food now, I'm pretty much satisfied as if I wiped out a buffet and nothing tastes good yet. And they've told me that the only thing that tastes good is fruit. Uh, but none of my favorite foods taste good anymore. I don't like meat anymore. I like fruits and vegetables, which is weird. I had my roommate brought for breakfast this morning.

He went to Dickie's Barbecue and asked me if I wanted a couple of ribs. And I had a rib. And I'm like, eh, it's not worth the fat. It's not worth the calories. I don't know. My taste had really changed. It's weird. Is my mic working now?

I've never heard about this. Am I okay here? Oh, yeah, you sound good. You mentioned a couple of different surgeries and techniques, but you forgot the one from The Simpsons, right? When Homer got his jaw wired shut, and so he's done nothing but the smoothie diet.

So he's just liquefying hamburgers and shit and drinking those now. I think if you could just... If you go to the source, if you go to the input, and you make things more difficult there, I feel like that's a much less invasive way to get things done. I think maybe I'd try that first. Of course, that doesn't work in your situation because you need to be able to speak.

You can't just have your jaw wired shut all the time like Kanye West. Plus, I'm missing so many teeth, Kyle. I could probably just still get ham in there, honestly. Kanye had his jaw wired? Oh, you're not oh all right so kanye was in a car accident they wired his jaw shut he did a i think the album's called through the wire or maybe the song is and the and the whole song is wrapped through the is it's uh through the wire is this recent he's it's excellent it's amazing recent is it no no it's one of his older things okay like they're making this up this is a fucking Is this recent? It's excellent. It's amazing. Is it recent? No, it's one of his older things.

You're making this up. This is a fucking troll, isn't it? No. It's called Through the Wire. It's excellent. The College Dropout album, that's his good shit. Kanye's been on a downward slope ever since that. That was great. Crazy. I will tell you, when I talked about the liquid diet,

I tweeted about it, and someone, some hater immediately took a screen cap of me blending uh mountain dew and doritos together like that's his fucking liquid diet you fat fuck and i was like that's funny all right you get that one see i don't mind fat hate if it's funny if it's just hate that's not funny but funny i like funny it's gotta be funny that's not funny. But funny, I like funny. It's got to be funny. Yeah. So what was, I'm curious, what was the first like tangible thing you did? And like how long after the surgery was it where like you got up in the morning and you were like, huh, walking is way easier. Or, oh, this is way easier for me.

Or I'm more comfortable sitting or whatever it is. I will tell you, the first part was me being uncomfortable all the time, actually, because I lost a lot of padding in my ass. That's why I'm in a different chair tonight is because I literally can't sit in my office chair for more than about an hour without it just hurting my ass because there's no padding left back there. I lost a shitload of padding. I saw my penis for the first time in a while for about a month ago. It's great, isn't it? Yeah.

I'm a big fan of your penis. How you been? And it's just getting clearer and clearer every day. Like every day I'm like, I can still see it. Oh, I can see more of it now. Now I can see the shaft. First it was the tip of the head. Then it was the head.

Then it was the shaft. And it's, yeah, I mean, that's a good feeling, you know? It is. And then my lymph, the lymphedema that I had completely went away for a while. Now it's coming back. The reason it went away is because it's dehydrated. Now it's coming back and it's about half of where it's going to be. My doctor's convinced it won't come back very hard. I don't know. Time will tell. But for a while there, like I was

wearing regular shoes and feeling super comfortable there. But the walking, so you guys don't know this. A lot of people don't know this. A lot of people make fun of me for being in the mobility carts at like VidCon and stuff. But VidCon requires like five, 10 miles of walking a day. I definitely can't do that. Um, but a lot of people don't know that in the last year, my back had gotten so bad. Uh, and we, I can't, I couldn't fit an MRI machine. So we had no clue as to what's back there. We finally, when I get under 400, they're going to put me in the MRI machine to find out what's going on and see if we can fix the problem. But my back had gotten so bad that I was using a wheelchair to get in and out of hospitals, in and out of doctor's appointments every once in a while. And so now I'm able to walk in a walker and I can, you know, around the house, I'm up for five or 10

minutes at a time. I get to walk my dog for the first time sometime this week. And that's one of the things they tell you, because the scale can be such a bitch and move really slowly at points because your your the hormone systems in your body will just fuck around and even though mathematically everybody out there it's just a matter of math it's just a matter of math well your body won't function if it's hormonally fucked up trust me my endocrinologist can talk to you about it if you want or you can google it yourself but eventually your body will produce the hormones that say, don't burn fat, store fat. And during that period of time, you got to focus on non-scale victories. And it's stuff like being able to have really good sex with my wife for the first time since I married her, or to be able to, you know, and we were able to pull that off her the first

time I walked the dog or last weekend. The sex has to be the best part of the weight loss so far, right? My wife seems to really like it. She was very pleased. I won't go into the graphic details, but she definitely made a noise I had never heard before. She went, oh. And she said something that a man likes to hear. It's like, oh, that actually hurts. And I was like, yes. And it's not because I was crushing her.

All right. Stephen, I love you, but it's too soon. We tried a new position. She lays on her belly and I stand on her back. She hates it. That's awesome, man. I'm really happy to see. I can tell just in your demeanor that you're happier just to be on the path,

like knowing that you're doing something new every day. That's great. And I'm in less pain and I feel more comfortable in my body. I'll tell you one of the weirdest problems is now looking at like Facebook when it shows me an old picture, an old video. And I don't even, I already don't recognize my face sometimes. And I'm just like, that's not me. That's not, that's not, was I really that fat? Did I really look like that? Holy shit. Like I saw a picture from two years ago where I'd gotten pretty close to my biggest. I was about 5'60", 5'70". It was after dropping 50 pounds and then putting 60 on. I'm just like, holy shit, who is that guy?

It's weird. It's really weird. I hear that a lot from the support groups. I'm very active in my support groups. I don't actually go to them, but I'm active online. It's so funny because you hear about body dysmorphia and how some people still think they're fat people. You know, they go shopping for clothes and three years out, they're like, I can't buy clothes from here. Oh no, I can. I remember. That's why I came here was to buy clothes from here. Of course I can. Or I couldn't fit through that. I couldn't fit through that. Or I can't sit

in that chair. Oh no, you absolutely can. pounds lighter 300 pounds lighter and so i'm already starting to get that too and it's weird it's really weird like he you know i guess somebody made a video a long time ago called uh learned helplessness you know one of the reasons a boogie can't help himself because he's learned that he's helpless and it's bullshit i i there's some validation of that because really i sometimes i think i can't do it and then i just look why don't i fucking try since the surgery and i discover i can and i feel like a fucking idiot you know what other like non-scale victories are you looking forward to like is there athletic accomplishment that you really want um i haven't ridden a roller coaster since i was uh 15 when i

got too big for the roller coasters i haven't ridden a water slide since i was 15 when I got too big for the roller coasters. I haven't ridden a water slide since I was 15 when I got too fat for the fucking water slides. I never have taken my wife on a non-work trip and I've taken her to fucking VidCon to meet her favorite YouTubers and we've been to LA and San Francisco and it's all been work trips so I work most of the time

and if we go somewhere we do film it most of the time um i just want to take her to disneyland or disney world when i have the opportunity to really be able to do everything there and just set the cameras aside and just spend one week with her and have an actual honeymoon like that's top of the list of things i want to do what's the way you have to get to for roller coasters? I think I'd be pretty comfortable under 300 for the most part. Yeah. Where are you now? I'm just about 435 right now. Okay. And so it's going. But I'll tell you what's crazy about it is they told me to expect to lose on average. There's a scale where you can put in, they put in all my comorbidities they put in my hormonal situation they even put in whether or not the endocrinologist is convinced I

have a brain tumor on my pituitary gland because my pituitary gland just simply does not function does not do what it's supposed to do or at least as well as it's supposed to do that's why I'm on the testosterone and everything else and until we get that MRI we won't know for sure. But, um, they plugged all that stuff in and on average, they expected me to lose 260 pounds from surgery day where I weighed 492. Um, you know, my pre-op diet, my pre, you know, the diet, pre-surgery diet was 540. But, um, so theoretically I should be able to get down to about 230. And then most people statistically put on 10% of the weight back after the second year, sometime in the second or third year.

So I should end up around 250, 260, which means I'll never be skinny. But that's my eighth grade weight. That's how much I weighed in like eighth fucking grade. I got a question. When you were getting the surgery, I remember I watched your video, and there was a delay. They pushed it back. It was one or two weeks or something. You felt bad about it, like it was some sort of personal failure.

And I didn't understand. I don't think that video explained why it was delayed, just that it was. So they had me go in for a physical a week before the surgery, or like nine days before the surgery. And it's very routine to do that for any surgery at the Mercy Network where I got it done. I have to be careful. I'm never allowed to mention my doctor by name because I'm internet famous and I signed a thing or whatever. Anyway, so I don't pass the physical because my blood pressure is, of course, through the fucking roof. Not only did I have to walk through this fucking hospital because we decided to forego the chair,

I have an anxiety disorder, so I'm nervous as fuck. And they did the blood pressure, then they did a, what do you call it, the EKG or whatever? And they noticed something on the EKG. the EKG or whatever. And I, they noticed something on the EKG. So they immediately, since their ORs are constantly overbooked and constantly needed for life-saving surgeries, and I'm an optional surgery, the policy is bump an optional surgery, book a life-saving surgery in the place. And then if this guy gets re-approved, book them at the next opportunity. So that's what they had to do. Uh, So they wanted me to come back in and get a different echocardiogram on my heart. And which was, it's stupid because it was inconclusive anyway. They couldn't see the back two chambers of my heart because how fat I am, which is super

frustrating. So they still didn't even figure out anything and then approved me anyway. And so it was, it seems like you could have made a case in your situation that it was a necessary life-saving surgery. That's exactly what it was. And, insurance doesn't believe that, so we paid for it completely in cash. Thank you, YouTube Check, for letting me be able to do that. Thank you to my audience for supporting me in the way that you have, whether it's through donations on Twitch or just watching ads or buying from one of my sponsors or whatever. I watch you on YouTube, Brad. I feel like I'm responsible for at least one of your answers. You are. There you go, man.

Absolutely. But, you know, that's one of the big things. Oh, you know, I can't believe you made the government pay for it. And we paid for it in cash. We wrote a check. But $20,000. Actually, they gave us a discount. It's supposed to be $22,000. We paid $18,000.

So I say $20,000, though. That's totally worth it. That's rather affordable. I thought it would be more. I thought it was going to be, you know, $40,000 or something nuts like that. No, it's just totally worth it that's that's rather affordable i thought it would be more i thought it was going to be you know forty thousand dollars or something nuts like that no it's actually really affordable all told um i mean don't get me wrong that's not affordable for 90 of americans but fortunately it's a big chunk of money but when it's life saving we could most americans could save up for something i mean that's a car right you know finance that shit

and uh a lot of people like my cert i know, finance that shit. A lot of people, like my cert, I was really worried because I thought a lot of people were thinking I was going to die on the fucking table. A lot of my fans, but like 4chan had a dead pool going whether I would die on the table or something. I didn't think you were going to die on the table, but I worried it.

Yeah, I worried it too. But you know, the way I figure, I don't know if I believe in God or I don't know if I believe in fate or i don't believe in like karma or whatever but here's what i know i had enough people rooting for me that day where it would have been a cruel injustice to this fucking universe if i died that day and so i wasn't worried about me i was worried about the fucking millions of people that were rooting for me you know and i'm like i can't let those people down and that's when that surgery got delayed that's why i felt like it was a fucking personal failure because i knew there were a lot of people who had that day marked on their calendar, both YouTubers and fans and friends and family.

And when it got delayed a week, I was just like, fuck, these people are going to be so hurt, so disappointed. I mean, I follow you on Twitter. And so I saw when that happened, you're like, sorry, guys, got delayed by two weeks. And I was just sitting around. I'm like, oh, damn it. Like I kind of wanted to see this start moving. My attitude when I watched it, I think I saw the tweet. There was some subreddit attention about it.

I forget which subreddit. And then I watched your video. And I'm like, man, everyone seems to be like blaming Boogie as if he messed this up. I thought maybe you fell off the diet or something because the cause wasn't really laid out there. i thought i will tell you so on the night that i talked it was my birthday when they called me to tell me that uh i think it was my birthday that they called to tell me that my surgery was late and i'm like are you fucking kidding me what are you

fucking joking right and she's like no i'm so sorry boogie we're gonna have to do this and i'm like okay um so i have to do the diet for another week. And she goes, yes. And I'm like, do I have to do it every day? And she's like, you know, if you had a meal today, it would be understandable and forgivable. So I took my wife out for my birthday dinner and I might, I was already so like not used to food after two weeks at that point that I ended up like ordering a fraction of what I normally ordered and then threw half of it away. And I was already so like not used to food after two weeks at that point that I ended up like ordering a fraction of what I normally ordered and then threw half of it away. And I was like – and I felt so bad doing it. And I was like – but she's like – my nurse is like, it would be okay if you had your birthday dinner.

And I'm like, okay. I'm going to take my wife out. But that's nice proof of reprogramming. Right. Yeah. And it was interesting because I think – I was afraid to ever talk about that publicly. But I trust your audience. And everybody was like, see, that's why he's not a good candidate

for the surgery because he's too addicted to food he cheated on his liquid diet da da da da but it was actually fascinating because I found out how little I like how little I could eat even then and how little I wanted it and like I'm so fucking ready that meal showed me how ready I was to be on this path and I'm so glad to be I really I really am. So I know I'm sure I'm boring your audience to death. No, definitely not. But I will tell you at the end of the day, the reason my surgeon, he had just worked on a man who was 600 pounds, would not tell me much more than that. They said, you know, normally I want somebody around, I want you around a certain

BMI, which for you would put you at about 420, 420, 420, smoke a bowl. Anyway, and I'm like, well, that's a long ways off. And at the rate I'm losing weight because I'm diabetic, and for those of you who don't know, diabetes makes it very hard to lose weight because you become insulin resistant. Insulin is a hormone that tells your body to not burn fat. That's one of the things insulin does. It's really good at keeping your body from burning fat.

So the more insulin you're producing, and I'm producing a shitload of it, it's especially a downward cycle when you start injecting insulin. On top of the insulin your body's producing, then you're real fucked. Anyway, so they're like, even my endocrinologist is like,

that's just too long, but you're knocking on death's door. We need to find a surgeon who'll do it. And he consulted with that surgeon, and that surgeon's like, you know, we just pulled the trigger on a 600-pound guy, and I got him through it

and he's doing well, so there's no reason I can't work on you. You're in better health than he was. And I'm like, well, that's saying something because I feel like I'm fucking dying because every time I stand up, I almost pass out. Because my blood pressure is like hydraulic fluid. It really was. They would take my blood in the doctor's office and i would like

squirt the wife or squirt the nurse in the face and like bukkake bitch yeah it was bad it was bad i do have hiv is that a problem you guys you mentioned that they have you uh they have you doing exercises like what what do they have you doing exercises like what what do they have you doing uh for the longest time they had me on a zero exercise policy uh because they did an exercise uh what do you what do you call it they did a uh like a test a dry run and they had me walk like a quarter mile and they take they you know they're monitoring your blood pressure as you're walking or whatever and uh so I can't make it a full quarter mile.

Out of the eighth mile in March, she's like, well, come over here. Let me check your blood pressure real quick. And then if you want to do more, you can. My blood pressure was like 240 over 160. And she goes, all right, so walking cannot be part of your exercise regimen. It will fucking kill you. And so it was until the eight-week mark that I talked to my nurse. And I'm just like, so I think I might be ready to exercise.

What is the policy? She goes, are you having sex yet? And I'm like, yeah, we've had sex. And she goes, my policy is if you can have sex and you can survive it, then you can survive light exercise. So monitor your blood pressure. Make sure it's OK. Monitor your heart rate. Make sure it's OK.

And I don't want you getting out of breath. She says, I want you breathing heavy but not out of breath. She says, pace yourself. And I'm like, okay. So that means I've been just getting up on my feet and walking back and forth across the house, doing chores around the house because that's enough. And then I've been doing hand weights for the hands. And all that keeps my back and knees relatively comfortable. My right knee is starting to go out again.

So I'm going to need like Corisone or whatever at some point. But that's a good problem to have. I'm glad that I can get back to a point where I can do damage to the fucking knee by walking too much. See, you shouldn't have told your wife that they approved walking as an additional form of exercise. When you got back, it should have been, what was said? You know, Steve, well, nothing but sex. And they said oral is fine as well. Only performed on me.

It's a little too difficult for me to breathe to perform it on you so far. So none of that. But, yeah, for the next eight months, nothing but sex. And then we can move on to walking. Look, not to embarrass my poor wife at this point, but we've done so much hand and mouth stuff. That was, you know, I mean, that's because that's about really all we had access to for a really long time. stuff that was you know i mean that's because that's about really all we had access to for a really long time and so at this point uh i i she's got she's officially got a free ride on uh on not having to do that for a little while that's great oh yeah or i guess having to receive it for

a while yeah i mean like doing all hand and mouth stuff for so long you had to eventually be like god damn it when am i gonna get out of middle school? Exactly. Your middle school experience was so much better than mine. It's like being married to a Catholic girl that doesn't like anal. God damn it. That would be the worst. That's the point of Catholic girls. Exactly.

They all like anal because God doesn't mind. It's the Lord's loophole. The poophole loophole okay sorry kyle what are you saying i was gonna i was gonna change the subject if we if we've gotten through uh through all the the boogie weight loss stuff i wanted to talk about uh mcdonald's putting out some szechuan sauce announcing that you know at limited locations they would have the sauce and fans lined up around the block hundreds of fans outside the mcdonald's and i believe the number per restaurant was 20 packets they had 20 packets of szechuan

sauce in there and so the kids who lined up at seven in the morning they got one packet of szechuan sauce for their mcnuggets but then of course there's a hundred two hundred people left outside chanting and screaming and going fucking crazy. And then, of course, there's this gentleman right here who showed us what real Rick and Morty fans are. And Kyle, you are saying kids? I might know this one. Most of these were adults. These were all adults.

These were all, well, I mean, legal adults anyway. And then you've got this hero. This guy. Let's watch this. This is a minute long this is fucked so this is not the one I have seen already I'm ready

I need a moment this guy looks like a gentleman who'd get a little too excited about a promotional McDonald's sauce he's got very aggressive looking shorts large black boots on a graphic shirt of a woman looking longingly towards like stars, like some Carl Sagan, you know, so deep shit. He looks like he's going to shoot up a school right after this.

Are you guys ready? He's got his ears gauged. Yeah. Good decision maker. Ready, set, play. What are you laughing at? What do you see? I might be a little ahead of you.

So he puts the sauce in the ground and smashes it in the middle of the crowd and then dips a nugget in it on the ground and then a bunch of fucking losers come around and also dip their nuggets on this saw on a fucking guy.

What a bunch of animals. This fucking just touched the saw on his fingers and licked it and like, yes. That's what that was. Here's what I don't understand okay rick and morty is a show about nihilism how nothing fucking matters everything is fucking pointless the universe is a shit show all right and even for rick the sejuan sauce is just a fucking throwaway

joke much less for the writers but especially for Rick, who genuinely doesn't give a fuck. And if he ever actually got the Szechuan sauce, he wouldn't give a shit. He'd take one taste and go, it's not as good as I remember, and nothing matters anyway, he gives a fuck. So why would a Rick and Morty fan who understands, I guess understands the point of the show,

give a shit about Szechuan sauce long enough to stand in line? They're Jerry's. You gotta be a fucking Jerry Wait in line for five hours McDonald's because you think it's cool and don't get me wrong my wife when we were at retro Palooza She goes hey, honey. I'm gonna go try to get some of that Szechuan sauce today during the lunch period I'm like well. They're gonna bring his lunch She's like well. I really want to get the sauce for the internet points, and I'm like well That would be funny, so I guess that's cool. I couldn't make a video about it and make some

money. I think if you were there to make some money or to make internet points, because you're like a YouTuber or something like that, you're off the hook. But if you genuinely were there because you wanted to taste teriyaki plus ketchup, because it was half-heartedly a throwaway joke on your TV show, that's weird to me, right? And it's really funny because Dan Harmon, just before all of this happened, he was complaining about his user base or whatever, and he was talking about how his fan base is a bunch of fucking straight white men, straight white men.

It's like lamenting the straight white males of his base and saying how they have nothing going for them, they have no real identity for themselves, of his base and saying how they have nothing going for them they have no real identity for themselves and how like how they fucking you know try to protect and gatekeep the show and how they're harassing the female writers because they got nothing really going on in their lives or whatever bullshit and i'm like fuck him man fuck you there's no such thing as a bad fandom you can like the show however you want to like the fucking show you don't have to like the female writers fuck you damn harman and then i saw the clips from this mcdonald's thing i was like dude has a point well that was a black guy who was the the guy who like he didn't even have a nugget like he just

like got the sauce on his hand and licked it and screamed that was a black guy so okay good right the white man doesn't bear all of the shame uh for this moment right plenty of women there at the things too. You know how much pussy you could have gotten if you had yourself two or three packets of that shit? Probably none. You could probably get lots of little boys. I saw a brilliant idea on Reddit. They said you should make a Facebook

quiz, right, where you answer all these questions to figure out if you're a Rick or a Jerry, and no matter how you answer, you're a Jerry, because only Jerry would take a Facebook quiz trying to prove he's a rick i love it yeah i watched not this video earlier today i saw one where it was someone filming like panning the inside of a mcdonald's during the huge disaster line and there was one guy in it because like as it's panning across i'm like yep that looks like someone who would go to a promotional sauce event mcdonald's that looks like someone who's not busy

on a tuesday afternoon uh that looks like someone like who's clearly you know got some some issues in their life they're trying to resolve with this sauce and then there's one like normal looking guy and you could see in his face like as he looked around like who am i what am i doing here like i i'm one of these people like that's what i'm doing like i don't know it it made me uncomfortable to watch it was so awful like if if you would have told me based on what i saw on that mcdonald's if you someone said hey taylor i'll give you 20 to go stand in line you know and we'll get make sure you get a promotional sauce it's like no no no no no no thank you no i don't want to be associated with this riffraff

you know i'll get some on eBay if I need it, but I don't really want it because like Boogie said, it's basically cheap ketchup with a little bit of teriyaki. You can make your own. Did you see the Binging with the Babish video where someone sends him some of the sauce and then he makes the sauce and he's like,

oh yeah, these are identical. He just puts the recipe online. It's very simple. It's very simple to make. I think I have an inside connection of I want to get some sauce because Justin Roiland followed me on Twitter recently. I don't know why. It's weird. But I've been too afraid to, like, say anything because it's, like, Justin Roiland, right? And, like, he's friends with H3H3, Ethan and stuff.

And I think he probably knows me from the podcast. That's why he followed me. But I'm, like, afraid to say anything because I don't want to like spook him off or whatever because what do you say right like what do you fucking say to somebody like your show right yeah you know and you'll be able to some of that sauce right i thought i thought hey justin can i get some of the fucking sauce do you imagine how many people have asked him that at this fucking point right you know yeah uh but like the weirdest thing is i i've known justin roiland since like the channel 101 days and house of cosby's and stuff.

I used to watch all that stupid, terrible shit before YouTube was a thing. I don't know if you've ever seen his House of Cosby series. It's like deliciously awful. It's just like so terrible. It's so fucking awful. I love every second of it. Is it about Bill Cosby in any way? Yeah, exactly. It's like –

Oh, man. Wouldn't you like to see the updated version of that show? No. The joke is he's a huge Cosby fan, so he gets some Cosby hair. He invents a cloning machine so he can clone his own Bill Cosby.

Then he continues to clone Bill Cosby's. Each Bill Cosby has its own identity, like Curiosity Cosby or the female Cosby. Then every Bill Cosby has its own identity, like Curiosity Cosby or like the female Cosby. And then every tenth Cosby is special, so it has a special power that can be used to help save humanity. But certainly in the 70 Cosbys, one of them has to be the drug a woman and have non-consensual sex with her Cosby, right? They're all that. The first one.

That could be the continual thing. The one he's cloning for him. Yeah, they all have that quality. that's imbued in them i had a thought process i hadn't seen anywhere else the numbers could be off but that weinstein guy is now being accused of like sexually assaulting three women oh so many all right so i i heard way more than that i think a lot more women have i heard it was like in the 20s. Really? Oh.

So that changes my math. When I heard it was. She just said three rapes, 30 assaults. Oh. Those are not good numbers for him. It's ruining my math. Yeah. Allegedly. I thought it was three assaults.

And I was like, that would make him a quarter Trump and Trump a quarter Cosby. I was like, aha. That helps me put it in perspective. Did they say that Cosby assaulted people? I thought he was just in the drug and... I didn't really, but now the new math is Cosby is, no, Trump is a third Weinstein and Weinstein is two thirds of a Cosby, if I have my knowledge right.

Nobody ever said Trump raped him, I think. I think Trump is more of a gropey, creepy, come in the room and hey ladies kind of guy. Whereas Cosby will drug and rape a woman and Weinstein will really embarrassingly assault and or rape a woman. At least Cosby, I bet, still sounded like a man when he was raping the women. Did you hear that audio of Weinstein begging the model watch him take the shower? It's so humiliating He's like he's like stop it. You're embarrassing me. Don't you embarrass me here? I come to this hotel a lot Just you don't have to touch me. She's like no Last time you grabbed my breast it make me very uncomfortable. I have to know a man first

Did that take place in a lobby? I have to know a man first. Did that take place in a lobby? Shut up. Why was he so embarrassed? Because he doesn't want her to storm out of the hotel room and make a scene at that hotel. He's just like, just watch me shower. Just watch me shower.

She's like, no, no. You don't have to do anything. I promise. You're making me uncomfortable. He's putting it on her. She's being the one out of swords. It's just – it's hilarious. I wonder what those relationships are. Like Sterling, for example, right?

Like he didn't have a lot going on. He's dating outside of his – he's the basketball owner dude. Yeah, I know, but I'm not sure. Well, like so he would – Well, he didn't rape or assault her. No, but he would try to – he was dating outside. It wasn't like these women were enthusiastically after him. Did he ever get beggy as he tried to keep a relationship alive?

What is it like when there's a mismatch like that? Sterling – I think it's definitely different between this guy and – Yeah, that's a big difference because Weinstein is abusing his power over these women who are in effect working for him. That's what separates him away from Trump and definitely Donald Sterling. Makes him a little bit similar to Bill Cosby because that's Bill Cosby's move. He'd be like, oh, maybe I can get you on this show or that show or I could produce this for you. Come up to my room in private and we'll discuss it. And then he gets them in the room and drugs them.

And Weinstein sort of does a similar thing. He went after Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow and all of these A-list stars and and that he's using his power as this massive producer maybe the most powerful producer in the world to get these women in these compromising positions Sterling's just a billionaire like dating hot chicks he's a huge in my mind anyway there's a uh not a not an identical but a related kind of using his power to get women who aren't whores to be whores right that's what weinstein's about right and and when it fails suddenly it's like a a sexual assault type thing right like oh man i was i was hoping she'd let me masturbate in the shower while she watched because i have either money or power

or something that you know that she would want um sterling who obviously didn't rape anyone but it was a similar type thing these people weren't dating him for love you know the sterling well no but but they're they're free to date him for whatever reason like i don't think that that old ass man thought for a minute like oh these young girls are just so into me, they must love it. It's like, no, they saw the stacks of cash he was using as coffee tables, and were like, oh, I think I'm going to invest some time in hanging out with this guy. Sure, if I have to have some old man

sex, if that gets me a Rolls Royce and the rest of my life set up, like, sure. That's a sugar daddy situation. That's a sugar daddy situation, exactly. Way, way different than fucking Weinstein over here being like, hey, come masturbate in front of Exactly. Way, way different than fucking Weinstein over here. That's what Trump is doing. Trump is somewhere in the middle. Come masturbate in front of me.

Well, Trump's not a sugar daddy. Yeah, he is. He's just gropey. He groped Steven Spielberg's daughter? That's a level of Hollywood power that's insane. Only Obama's daughter, too. She was working for him. Yeah, she was his intern.

That's where I always like, whenever a YouTuber talks about dating their fans or whatever, intern. That's where I always like whenever a YouTuber talks about like dating their fans or whatever, like that, like that's such a power imbalance alone, where I think if I ever had a date again, hopefully I'll have a completely different body by then. But if I ever had a date again, I can't imagine the situation where you, you know, how do you meet somebody who doesn't know who you are on YouTube? And that's going to be thing. That's going to be crazy. But fucking dating someone when you're a multimillionaire, of course that influences every woman that was ever around Donald Trump. This guy can make or break businesses. This guy has pushed through millions and billions of dollars, lost a big chunk of it, but he's pushed through millions and billions of dollars.

How much of that will land on me? What opportunity will land on me if I do whatever this man wants me to do? Harvey Weinstein, you know, and again, think he's Miramax, right? You know, think of everything Miramax has done over the fucking years. That dude has made or broken tons of women. Right. And there's always the rumors like it's so bad in Hollywood. That's why Leonardo DiCaprio couldn't win an Oscar, even though he damn well deserved one for a really long time.

Because he wouldn't put out as a kid, you know, and there's all those fucking rumors. You go back and look like today to Franco. If you guys don't watch Philip DeF defranco i watch him every day but today he did like a compilation of all these older jokes that comedians had made uh during like the oscars or even like on interviews or whatever like seth mcfarland straight up says that the oscars to the six women are nominated for like best picture best female actors is like good news ladies you no longer have to pretend to be attracted to Harvey Weinstein. And that meant like, that was, that meant it was willful ignorance. That meant they fucking knew in Hollywood.

Well, did you see that? Everybody in Hollywood knew that shit. And that's the thing that's kind of, that's annoying right now about it. It's good that so many people are coming forward and finally speaking up about this problem. But like the fact that it was an open secret for this long and i saw seth mcfarland post something on his twitter from his facebook where he was kind of blowing smoke up his ass about like i couldn't resist going in on a joke at the expense of him and it's like oh oh you couldn't resist doing that

but you could resist along with lots of other hollywood folks not turning in actual pedophiles and actual rapists. There are a lot of people to point the finger at. You were okay to hold back on it for a while. Oh, yeah, I guess I'll do another movie with him. He is a powerful guy. Eventually, I'll come forward. It's like, doesn't that leave a bad taste in your mouth watching it where it's like,

so everybody knew and nobody said anything? There's plenty of people to blame. First of all, look at people like Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow who are now coming out, but they weren't in some position of non-power for the last decade. They're massive, famous actresses, and multi-millionaires on top of it. They didn't need

this guy anymore. They wanted him in their corner, and to have him in their corner, they were willing to willingly, knowingly allow him to continue to traumatize, assault, and or rape other women who were up and coming actresses. They knew that he was still doing that, but they didn't come out about this because they still wanted Harvey Weinstein backing their projects.

Look at Lorne Michaels with Saturday Night Live. Saturday Night Live will fucking harpoon anyone and everyone in the entertainment industry that's a big story they didn't make a single joke about weinstein last week and they asked lauren michaels who runs the show why why don't you do it he's like well it it's kind of just a new york story it's kind of a local thing we just didn't seem like we should do anything and it's like really really it's a global thing first of all the guy lives in la it's a global thing. First of all, the guy lives in L.A. It's a global story. I interpreted New York thing to mean, like, not that it wasn't a global story, but, like, we know this guy. You know, I'm not lampooning him because it's my friend.

Yeah, that's even worse. It's like saying, well, you know, he gets special treatment because we know he has a lot of power here. And, you know, it's not really a nationwide story. It's like, yeah, it is. Like, they rip on everything all the time. Hollywood has no problem pointing out faults in every other corner of the world, and they've been sitting there tacitly being okay,

at least some of them, with a pedophile. Maybe he's not a pedophile, but he's, you know, allegedly assaulted and raped a couple of these girls. I bet you if Harvey Weinstein drove a Hummer, they'd have just thrown him under the bus. No shit. If he'd beenstein drove a Hummer, they'd have just thrown him under the bus. No shit. If he'd been polluting a little bit, if he dumped his cooking oil into a river, that would have been the last fucking straw.

But he can rape and pillage and do whatever he wants, and it's all good. Did you see his statement of, like, I'm trying, I've been working, I'm trying to get better at this? It's like, dude, if you're so fucking disconnected and you've been surrounded by yes-men for so long that you think saying, I'm trying to get better at not assaulting like dude if you're so fucking disconnected and you've been surrounded by yes men for so long that you think saying i'm trying to get better at not assaulting people is an excuse at all it's like that's just a testament to the fact of how many people around him just kowtowed to his will in his statement he said he's a product of a different time and that's just how things used to be or whatever and like you know hey motherfucker i'm 43 guess what i've changed with the times okay there's a lot of things i don't do uh now that i did when i was 20 like more shit that i didn't do when i was 12 you know or that i don't do what i would have so fuck off with that shit

how do you i can't even find them or understand how you don't understand that sexual assault has not been okay since the fucking 70s dude i mean seriously it's it's and it all the stories are kind of comically bizarre like there was the one i hope i'm not getting the story wrong but it sounded like he was at a restaurant and he like blocks the woman's path that he knows in like the hallway maybe to the bathrooms or something and he's like pulls his cock out and she's like ah what the fuck he's just like just stand there and he jerks off into a potted plant he comes in the potted plant he's like oh thank god now i'm now i'm done all right all right we can both go back to dinner what the fuck harvey that's a ficus i'm gonna have to clean that out how long is this incident i wonder right because oh he blew right away like like really you

don't do that yes you don't do that if you're not right on the edge of finishing. Like, he's so horned up if he's blocking women in the hallway in a Morton's and jerking off that he's, like, he's 15 strokes away from destroying that ficus plant. Like, I try to always, like, have some level of, like, understanding and compassion to people who are wired differently sexually, right? Because I'm real pretty vanilla. I like big tits and vaginas and women who let me fuck me those are let me fuck them that's my three favorite things so that's pretty much it i'm vanilla as it comes i don't like any weird shit you know i like girls in pretty dresses and lingerie that's about it um but i like i can never comprehend why you would want to make some girl watch you jerk off in a bathroom at a restaurant. I can't even understand being wired that way. It's hard for me to have compassion.

I'm into all kinds of weird shit. Attracted to all sorts of bizarre things. I think those green women from Star Trek are fucking hot. That was one of the earliest sexy things I ever saw on TV. Well, that's universal. Come on now. The three-titted women from Star Wars, all that shit. I'm into every bit of it. Yeah, Total Recall. Thank you.

Good job. Good recall. But still, I don't have any interest in them watching me masturbate. If I'm doing that for them, it's for their benefit, not mine. If that makes sense. That ties into what I was thinking.

Like, look, I'm in a lot of stuff, but a lot of the core thing of it is like her enthusiasm is paramount to all of this, right? Or her fear. You can go both ways.

No, it's not. But like, like if she's not enthusiastic about what's going down here, then it's not hot for me. That's a core component. As long as her heart's racing. Kyle.

But so Weinstein, look, if I was jerking off into a ficus and the girl was like, ah, this sucks. Do I have to be here? It'd be like, no. Let's just wrap this up. I'm not into it if you're not into it. It's hard to enjoy a blowjob if you can tell that the person giving it to you, she's not fully into it because you're like,

well, now I know you're not fully into this right now, and so I can't get super into it. I don't care if she's enjoying it, but she better pretend like she is, right? And I just don't. These girls are actresses. This is all starting to make sense to me i can imagine it's just a screen test yeah i can imagine him selling this and being like do you want to suck my dick and then be like absolutely not all right now make me believe that you do want to oh wow He's a genius.

Man, like, he's just such... It's going to be like a waterfall of this, I think, because someone came out and accused Ben Affleck of fondling them or groping them or something as well. I don't know who it was, but someone said that. Batman doesn't grope women. I've heard Affleck's one of the biggest assholes in hollywood like that's the like well he's not a good actor but with the ben affleck thing though like there's a video clip of him from the like uh early 2000s with some uh uh interviewer on his lap

and he's like complaining because their tits aren't out or something it's like where's your cleavage you normally have cleavage just like what sunday is like oh well oh sunday mean you can't pull your tits out and i'm like whoa ben fucking affleck god damn oh hang on that doesn't sound that bad to me what's she doing on his lap like if a woman is sitting on his lap i feel like he's got free reign to say just about anything is he married i wasn't there if he was that's the question yeah yeah and i i mean i don't think that matters. Because, like, Ben Affleck's wife is probably down for him to do whatever he wants. No! That's why she left him.

You have this notion that many wives like their guys fucking around, but it turns out that's fairly uncommon. Well, fucking around is different from being able to, you know, ask for permission to do things and then make that happen. Or maybe bring the wife on. That's literally why she left him. I don't know anything about Ben Affleck's personal life. I don't either.

Well, it's been in the news. What's crazy about these celebrities, when they get into this trouble, Harvey Weinstein especially, you've got enough money where you can pay a girl to do literally anything, right? Like, why not just hire a working girl to come to that restaurant and watch you jerk off

in a fucking ficus? What does Jewish have to do with do with it well he doesn't want to be throwing money away if he can get okay all right that's i guess that's reasonable i suppose come on now he's got i mean i don't know how much money he's worth but it's got to be like half a billion or something right you know if it's just sex then hire a working girl to come jerk your pot or watch you take a shower or whatever it is, right? But it's clearly, in his case, it has to be a power thing, right? It's got to be a power thing. Because otherwise, why, you know, I don't understand. He's wealthy enough that everything is free, right?

Like he goes to the Apple store and doesn't look at the price tags. That's where he is. So he can't possibly be about the, I'll make up a number, I don't know, $400 that a prostitute would charge. There must be some other reason he wants it to be. Here's what I think it is. I think it's trophy hunting because these aren't average women he's going after.

These are supermodels. These are stars of the screen. These are people who either are famous or end up being very famous. I can imagine him sitting around with a bunch of other multi-millionaires and they've got their yacht or they've got their trophy wife and he's like yeah i fucked ashley judd though i uh i finger banged angelina jolie gwyneth paltrow stuck her tongue in my butt you know like and there's like

god damn it he's he's he's always got the best pussy in the world literally i i bet that's what it is i bet it's a power play that makes a lot of sense a lot of bragging i bet that's true with a lot of those high-powered guys like because you can't buy that yeah well here's another here's another here's an unpopular opinion for you but i was talking about this on twitter there's this this list that the guys over at Kotaku and Action keep of like guys who are outspoken feminists who then get in trouble for like sexual assault or rape or whatever. And the list

is like 20 people long now. So far. And it really makes me scratch my head and wonder like here's the thing. I'm fairly moderate on the feminists issue. I just kind of think, hey, men are pretty much equal to women. There's some minor biological differences, but they're pretty fucking minor. Pay everything the same. Treat everybody the same. Who gives a shit? And then I'm just done. Like, that's it. I don't feel the reason to preach common sense but these guys fucking oh you know fucking gamer gators these fucking gamers these fucking men these straight white men these just white males and then it turns out they're drugging and raping people and all i can wonder

is if now when i see a guy virtuous signaling like that i scratch my head and i think maybe this guy's hiding something right and we had like had like, I'm not going to even drop a name here. He thinks that's how he protests too much. But there's like a YouTuber who's also tied to Hollywood who just now is, well, fuck it. It's Andy Sinora from Screen Junkies who's getting most of, if you look like the DMs and stuff, it's mostly he was just very awkward. It was like, I don't know, you know, some of the allegations are very serious. But a lot of the DMs and stuff is him just not being very good at being attracted to women but clearly that guy was pretty anti-gamergate anti-gamer anti-men all that shit and all i can think is fuck man why why maybe they feel like they're erasing some of the bad they're putting into the world by putting some good out there or maybe they're trying to hide behind a smoke screen maybe it's truly devious or something i think i think it's

i think it's the smoke screen thing you're saying like they're allies and certainly that's not if you listen to jordan peterson talk about it he's uh he's a you know professor from canada we had him on the show and he was talking about this exact same thing you just mentioned boogie where he's like so many of these male feminists, they're men who can't compete with other men to get women in traditionally masculine ways. And so they have to take the quote, sneaky route and try and penetrate women's defenses sneakily. But I'm no threat, I'm no threat.

I'm that small orangutan who looks like a female, but it's actually male. I'm just coming into your area. And then before you know it, boom, the orangutan who looks like a female, but it's actually male. I'm just coming into your area. And then before you know it, boom, the orangutan's raping them. And I look at these people the same way I do when it turns out that a preacher or someone who was so, so, so against gays for years comes out as gay.

It's that same kind of thing. You were trying to protest so much because you know in your heart maybe you do actually have a problem with women and you project that problem onto everybody else going it's not just me who has a problem with women it's all these other guys you know what i'm gonna be a feminist and tell them to not think about women the way i secretly do and then all those guys out there who are more normal are like why are you fucking just ripping on all men or you know like doing all this feminist ridiculousness and it's like well the reason is because they're trying to cover their tracks. They're

being sneaky. They're trying to appear less threatening than what I think they know they are. And certainly, to be just fair, certainly that's not probably a majority of outspoken male feminists. I would put Britain right. But certainly enough of them to where it makes me scratch my head and wonder, right? It's really disconcerting to me, you know? And meanwhile, I'm fairly modern on the topic, but I think I'm a pretty damn good husband. I think most of those here are pretty good boyfriends, husbands. I think we do a pretty good job,

and I don't think very many of us feel the need to wake up and tweet all white men, all straight white men need to kill themselves because they're all the rapist enemies or whatever, you know? Joss fucking Whedon, like Joss Whedon too, right? Like the list is so long. It's so bizarre. I don't know joss fucking whedon like joss whedon too right like the list is so long it's so bizarre i don't know what's a different story what do you do i don't know the story i don't know what he did recently but his background to me is is a guy who's really into empowering of women you know he i mean all of his shows everything he's ever done has always stuck these big strong female characters who don't need a guy necessarily

or they i mean he did buffy the vampire slayer right like i want to say right well i don't i don't remember all of the details but uh his wife during divorce proceedings came out and said that he was like a hypocritical feminist and that he like behind closed doors he had no respect for women to talk shit or whatever and here's's the thing. That's a divorce proceeding. People get crazy during that shit, so you don't know. But Hollywood turned on him hard. That sucks. You wanted to come back at her

and be like, no, no, no, just you. Like when they were going after Trump at the debate, when she's like, you've called women pigs and this and that. He's like, only Rosie. He needed that kind of response to that testimony.

She's like, he has no respect for women. He thinks they're pigs. He thinks that kind of response to that testimony. She's like, he has no respect for women. He thinks they're pigs. He thinks that they're below him. He should have said, only you, honey. Just you. You're the only woman I think that about. The rest of the women are powerful, beautiful, and strong. Just you.

Yeah. But, I mean, it does make sense that when you're trying to hide something that you would pander very heavily to that group as plausible deniability. And then that's the thing that I always get in trouble for is people like, Boogie, you're such a fence sitter. You're so neutral. You're so objective. No, I just I'm true to myself because I genuinely don't give a shit about anything. Right. Like I accepted my nihilism when I was 15, all right?

And instead I tried to kill myself, I failed, and then I just embraced the absurdity of the world, right? And so there's so few things I genuinely give a shit about. It's so easy for me to be fence-sitting because I don't give a fuck. It's so easy for me to be objective because I don't give a fuck. And so people are like, you're not fighting hard enough here for the thing you believe in because I don't really give a shit.

I kind of believe that it would be cool if the entire country had health care, but I understand it's never going to happen to this country and it doesn't matter because I can afford my bills. So fuck it. Right. And I kind of like the idea of some level of gun control in this country. I do think maybe semi autos might be a little too crazy for your average person to be walking around with.

But here's the thing. We're never passing that law. We're never repealing the Second Amendment. It's never gonna happen. So fuck it. I don't care. I don't care. I'm just not gonna get wrapped up in it. I'm gonna tweet positive shit about fucking Szechuan sauce and fucking video games, and I'm gonna jerk off to fucking porn, and I'm gonna play video

games and watch Philip DeFranco. What kind of porn? You talked about your vanilla interest in women. Does that stay with the porn? Like, is it some really basic porn? Or... Big tits. big tits big tits like how big are we talking like so big like like enormous like freakishly big uh i don't know my wife is is you know she's a little overweight uh but not tremendously so certainly never nothing like me um but she also maintains a very decent shape because she's got just not like fucking gargantuan, but certainly proportional, certainly overly proportional.

And most of the girls I've dated have had that same kind of rack. So we're talking G's. You know, we're talking like this massive, you know. Do you like the lactating tits where the nipples have turned all dark brown? Yeah, that's gross. I had a one time. There's a friend. They're like sexy submarines. dark brown. That's gross. I had a... One time there's this... I was hoping I had a... There's a strip club.

A friend? They're like sexy submarines. There's this... I'm so close. There's this strip club in town called Rock Bottom. And I used to frequent it when I was a kid

because I lived right next to it. And it's the only all-nude place in town, but it's also a fucking horror show. And most of the girls there are about as toothless as I am and addicted to meth and they're there for meth money but they'll let you finger the vagina for a quarter so it's a good deal when you're 17 you know and you can sneak in there right and uh so there's this one girl

who was always pregnant i would go there like once a year and she was still always be pregnant right and like lactating nipples the whole nine yards. And she was also dog fucking ugly. And so one of her schticks was she'd walk up to you and go, how about a lap dance? And you'd be like, no, no, you are very pregnant. The one time she got in my lap, I could feel the baby through her stomach. Yes.

Oh, it was like fucking horrible, right? Two for the price of one. Oh, that's awesome. She's squirting the nipples at you. So you would have to tip her to make her go away. And so I was just like, here's two bucks for your unborn baby. Please leave.

Here's two bucks for your unborn baby. Just leave. And then for the rest of the night, she would leave you alone because she got her two bucks. You ever ask her, like, where are the rest of the babies? I think at the end of nine months, she just fucking dumps it into a dumpster. Well, I leave it out by my father's house out in the back, and then the Night King comes and takes it in the middle.

You sound exactly like her, by the way, just so you know. Same timbre. I want to milk you in your mouth, boy. You want a back room? No, I do not want to go back room you might give birth back there what if your water breaks on me no that'd be so special if she if her water broke on you like during the lap dance she's backing up on you and your pants get wet and you're like oh i must have finished oh god no is that an umbilical cord how graphic am i allowed to get here all the way all right so i guess we're really going to get into it i do i do have a thing for

women of color first girl i ever dated was african-american and so i do have a thing for women of color big-breasted women of color um and you know anything from like mexican all the way to very very dark yeah like uh like all the way from black to Latino and anywhere in between. You know, I'm cool. But I also love a really pale redhead. That's my jam. Pale redheads, man, are so fucking hot, right? Yeah.

And then for a very short period of time, and I felt dirty, but I was into girls' first anal times. Yeah, pain! all up in there but not necessarily for the fact that it was painful it was just one of their first times yeah and often it would be painful but that was not as exciting for me but the fact that it is but it needs to be pain for you to know that it's their first time no i was right it's not the pain itself that you're looking for but the pain is an indicator of what you are looking for which is the first was right it's not the pain itself that you're looking for but the pain is an indicator of what you are looking for which is the first genre and it's a turnoff for me yeah if she big fan if she's not enthusiastic and typically in panel she's not uh that yuck to me no not like panel like an amateur first time giving it a go like there's a there's a difference

between that and where they try and get you to watch a compilation where it's just clearly like they're out for blood like they're angry at this poor girl and they want to like it because that's like what is it on her head I'm not interested Dude, that is a position that you see where you put your foot right on the side of her face. And you know that this foot has that nasty film of dust that's undoubtedly settled on the floor of everyone's house. And she's just got that gritty feeling on her face. And she's like, God, I just stayed in church. I should have finished school.

Like, now I'm getting penaled. And they have to go, you have to scream louder. And she's like, oh, the tread's so worn out, I forgot to pretend to be in pain. and they have to go, you have to scream louder! She's like, oh, the tread's so worn out, I forgot to pretend to be in pain. So for the uninitiated, the girl is in face-down, ass-up position, and the man is fucking her

in the ass from behind, but his right foot comes over the entire body and onto the side of her face, mushing it into the bed, couch, floor, field, wherever they've done this at. It's the coup de gras of Painel. I have no interest in that. It's the coup de grace of Painel. I have no interest in that.

Actually, the coup de grace is when he sticks her head in the toilet. That's the top tier of Painel. If her head is in a toilet... No, what the fuck? Kyle, what the fuck? You asked, I'm telling. You get her head in the

toilet. If he flushes the toilet right as he's coming, that's the four gold star video right there. The swirly cum shot. Yeah, usually he's in the toilet first. I want to say that Kyle does not necessarily speak for me here.

I'm your emissary. If you want to see that video, send me the link. I'm curious. The other thing that I dabbled in, I dabbled in. Here's a story for you, though. I dabbled in the idea of, like, submissive girls. And sometimes the videos, like, I watch videos of submissive girls. I don't really want to get hurt or anything or really dominated, like, tied up or anything like that.

Just the ones who do what you tell them. The problem is I don't know that that would be attractive for like a mating purpose, like marrying purpose, because my wife is very strong-willed. Um, but she's also like, she, she's very, we compromise. And so I married a woman who can challenge me on the daily, but also generally lets me win if it's important to me. So, uh, that I like, but, uh, yeah, but there are plenty of like strong-willed women out there who like being submissive. As a whole, you talk to a lot of women and talk to a lot of men. Good God, Kyle, I cannot believe that you found a real video of me going to the toilet. I can believe it.

Jesus Christ, Kyle. I thought maybe he was making up the existence of this video. What is wrong with you, Kyle? I love you. While you guys watch that, let me do a quick advertisement. Let me tell everyone about SmartMouth. Yeah, they're going to be associated with this. Yeah. Well, I mean,

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Boogie knows firsthand now that he's getting so much ass how important good breath is. I generally need a mouthwash after sex, you know. And smart mouth is perfect for that. So there you go. I also want to tell everyone a little bit more about Total War Warhammer the series has returned to critical acclaim join the battle with four all new playable races the noble high elves their murderous cousins the dark elves the ancient and orderly

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guessing I've put in 30, 35 hours this week. i've been getting new flooring put in so while they've been putting flooring in and i've kind of been supervising over that total war has been running the entire time so i've been also been playing with taylor and taylor's been beating me about 80 of the time because he's got so much experience in the series so don't like that one bit so i've been sharp sharpening my skills for our next encounter. So, yeah, hop on there, pick the game up, and come play with me. Yeah, definitely check it out. Speaking of a critical acclaim, you know, they got a meta score of 86,

which is really, really good, but their user score is 7.9. It's pretty rare that the users like a game as much as the critics. That's pretty cool. Yeah, it's very, very good. Well, it's got a lot to do. It's not just a one-dimensional game. I mentioned it a bit in the ad read there. What I've been doing a lot of

is just the battles. Just going online, putting your army together, and playing against other people online. But there's also sort of a single-player campaign mode where you do a lot of that battling, but there's a lot more elements in there. You're managing economies and building cities and capturing cities and you go through the cut scenes and the story mode and all that stuff and uh i'm not as into that as

i am the the battles but i'm addicted to the battles i'm really enjoying that the siege battles kyle and i have been doing a number of those where you like defend a fortress and you have a huge army assaulting you and it's like a Helm's Deep kind of feel. It's such a big scale of a battle compared to any other RTS I've ever played. It's just fun. It's really, really cool to see and to handle stuff like

morale. I don't know why. I think that's really neat. The tactic of not necessarily slaughtering all your enemies but targeting whatever guy is giving them morale, killing them, and then forcing whole units to route because they're just afraid or terrified, or you land a dragon on them and they spaz out.

It's great. You guys should definitely check this out if you enjoy fantasy stuff. I was sitting here typing to everyone. I was like, I can still hear porn, and everybody types back, like, no, not on my end, not on my end, and I click through my browsers,

and whenever you go to a porn site like there's always a on my side there's a pop-up of like a live site that they're trying to pitch pitch you to and i look and there's a beautiful woman with like her legs up in a v and she's just hammering herself with a dildo moaning like crazy and i'm like ah there's the call i watched watched that. So Kyle linked the girl with the toilet and the, the head and the, and like, I'm a little damaged. From that.

But to, to, to Kyle's credit, that girl, as much as she was kind of being not just submissive, but like, in my mind, like dominated in a mean way,

you know, swirly in the toilet. She still enthusiastic like she was this was her thing it would seem that or she can i like everybody i think every guy for the most part likes a submissive partner and most women like a dominant partner but i don't like the dominant submissive thing when you're like slapping them and like being like way too aggressive likesubmissive thing when you're, like, slapping them and, like, being, like, way too aggressive. Like, if you're with someone who wants to be demeaned, like, a step further than being submissive, they, like, want you to demean them. That's not attractive. Or not as attractive as just kind of the submissive, you know, coy, you know, girl.

What's this, Kyle? What's this? You disagree? You know what this is. Yeah. You knowyle what's this you disagree what this is yeah you know what this is okay we talk i mean it's still it's still fun but uh so so that leads me to the story um so my friend i i this is like probably 20 years old harvey weinstein but about but about 20 years ago i tell my friend who i know has an inclination towards being dominant and being with submissive girls i'm like how do you meet those girls he's like oh there's

a website and i'm like oh tell me about it i don't remember the name of the website but i go there to sign up yeah i don't remember which way it was 20 years ago man i don't fucking know it's like dominate dominate my pussy dot well i don't know what anyway so um i sign up for it and i i check off the things that i'm interested in and i the only message i ever got was from another guy who wanted me to fuck his wife and she was submissive and i'm like all right yeah i might be down with that can you send pics or whatever is the pick of me so you really you know what you're getting into because i want you know my profile pic again gave a pretty good idea of what you're working with but I wanted to make sure they knew

and he's like no you are perfect here's pictures of my wife she was hot but here's some naked pictures of my wife let me tell you man I can't wait to do this she loves humiliation play and I'm like what and so the goal was he wanted me to fuck

his wife because of what a fat disgusting piece of shit i was and she would not be attracted to me at all and he would find it disgusting but she would be willing to please me to please him and that was their kink and i'm like fuck that i have enough self-esteem to where fuck you right if you'd not told me that that would have been cool but now that i know i have too much self-respect you see a lot of that on like uh tinder and plenty of fish or whatever the other sites are where it'll be like open relationship where they say like oh i'm in an open marriage or whatever which i guess just means you can fuck whoever you want but i have never pursued any of those but i wanted like if i ever got to like the last block of that progress i feel like i'd have to ask like so uh he's not coming

right or he's not gonna be there oh he's coming right like this is in the corner on the ficus right because can you imagine something worse than like going over to some you know married woman's house and you know it's moral because she says open relationship in her Tinder profile and then some man is just sitting in the corner and it's too late to back out because he has a gun. So when I'm like 25 or 26, God maybe no, God maybe it was the last thing I remember. I think this was like 2006, 2007. But I met a girl on, again, another one of these websites.

And she came into the local gaming store that I was like part-time working at. And I got to know her. And like she was in an open marriage. But again, she had like a monstrous rack. Just like fucking. Right, it was my weakness, right? And she came in with him full-on display every nerd in the place lost her mind i got her to stick around after we shut

the place down took her out for coffee and she's like so you know me and my husband are swingers and i'm like yeah she's like he's pretty open-minded with me doing whatever and i'm like that's great and she's like we also throw parties once a month or so at my house we get a nice hot tub and we'd love it if you came and like that, that's cool. I'd like to meet some other open-minded people. And I'm like, so I like, you don't feel too negatively about all this, you know? And she's like, no, not at all. You know, there's a few other people of size, just, you know, whatever. And I'm like, you know, mostly into, you know, girls with your kind of body. She's like, well, I'm kind of into you. And I'm like, yay. Um, so we, we didn't really do anything that night. Um, I got to see her tits but that was about it

got to touch her and that was about it so then my birthday I'm posting on MySpace MySpace still back then my birthday look for something to do and she's like hey why don't I pick you up I have my bump at noon so she comes and picks me up

and we go to her place and again we just like set and talk for a little while. And she's like, yeah, I got a really wild night planned for you. And then like 3 o'clock rolls around and her husband walks through the door. And he's like, hey, I'm home. Is this Steve, the guy you were telling me about? And I noped the fuck out of there. I was like, all right, this is too much.

Like I don't want to meet the husband. I don't want to know anything about the husband. I thought he was out of town or something. Fuck this. And, yeah, I couldn't do to meet the husband. I don't want to know anything about the husband. I thought he was out of town or something. Fuck this. And, yeah, I couldn't do it. It was too weird. Yeah, that would be very odd. Ah, you know, whatever.

Just move straight ahead. We know somebody who's definitely into that. You know? Yeah, but everybody has your limits. Kyle, if you showed up to an open marriage lady, and then there's just the the husband there and he's just kind of mulling about yeah i think single woody would have fucked all of these women i don't care like he can get the other end we can double team his wife that'd be fun we get the high

five in the middle like uh the age formation i can uh you know as as one of our friends likes to say well he's got to be there so he can eat the cum right you know okay so so kyle where is your it's not gonna eat itself are you willing to go in the front are you willing to go in the front while he's in the back are you willing to go in the back while he's in the front absolutely whatever are you willing are we talking double penetration are you not worried about dicks touching i don't care. No. So if your balls touched another guy's balls while you were inside of a woman, that's not a problem for you?

That's incidental contact. See, I could do it. I've been in the same room while other men were with women, and I've been with that same woman even in the same day, and that was fine for me. But for having any contact with her while he was with her or vice versa out of out of the way like yeah that's incident incidental contact like like uh kind of problem with that um you know maybe this is like not realistic but i i have a thought

of like of being a news story of like local man invites man a local woman invites man off tinder to fuck him an open relationship little did she know her husband was coming back and they weren't actually in an open relationship the man was murdered while fucking the admittedly not too attractive wife but he had to do it he showed up like that i doesn't that cross your mind at all that you might be that guy yeah just just nailed it hit the just nail right on the head. You cultivate this relationship for longer than one day, you know? Oh, now we're talking effort. There's going to be some straightening out of what's going to happen

and some laying down of ground rules and such, you know? You figure out how things are going to go and you get after it. I dated in a time where sex was much harder to come by. So some of these things that are are a deal breaker for you, I feel like are deal breakers because you get to be, you get to pick and choose, right? Taylor is wildly successful on Tinder. He's achieving whatever level of success he chooses to achieve, right? Back in the day, it wasn't so easy. So it's like, all right, what do you get to have sex?

But there's a dude in the corner watching now this never happened to me but i think i would have said you know not everything is perfect and this kind of thing changes like your perspective on stuff like this the longer you go without getting laid the more like if i didn't get laid from today until you know next march or apr April or something. Like, and we had this conversation again. I'd be like, fuck it. Let the guy invite his dad and his brothers in too. They can all sit in the corner.

Like, let's just get it done. I need some release. And so you definitely get different perspectives in that way. Oh, man. Yeah, man. And look, being hung up on something is just so lame. It's just so, it makes no sense to me. To Boogie's point about nihilism,

I kind of got that mindset as well. We're only here for this short little limited amount of time. Nobody will remember any of us in like a hundred years. We're dust in the fucking wind, man. Like a fucking bad 70s song. They'll still be dragging out FPS Russia clips for every mass shooting.

Maybe. I did have a wonderful instructional video not only how to use the SlideFire but to install it. My phrasing was, and now you can just spray everything once I had it attached. I was like, wow.

It's probably not the best choice of words, but it is true and you know i still got i haven't put mine on online for sale yet i'm the price continues to rise it's uh it's what's the price at now last time i looked at like five to seven hundred fifty dollars um i got them for free but back in the day they were like three hundred dollars i think to purchase or something like that so what do you have, like a dozen? More than a dozen? About a dozen. About a dozen.

A case. Okay. I gave you one. I think I may have gave Wings one. I don't recall. There was some talk of it, but I may have forgotten to actually give it to him while he was here. I meant to.

I think I may have given. I gave friends and family one or two, but I started with like 15 or 20. It's a good stocking stuff. See, that's something I've never been able to be comfortable with. I've trained myself a little bit with a pistol recently just for home security or whatever. And like my roommate, we have one now. So if somebody wants to show up at the front door, know that it's not going to end well.

But that said, I don't even like that i when i look back at those old fbs russia videos and i'm just like i was never comfortable the clip that shows up on reddit all the time where you almost fucking died with the door oh yeah right oh i love that i love that clip that's such a good clip but i i like every time i'm like why do you want to do that why do you want to do that i embrace my nihil to do that? I embrace my nihilism. But it's the same thing as not wanting my balls to touch another person's balls. It's personal preference. I just, that would not make me feel good. I don't believe I can die.

I believe I'm invincible. Because as a child, there were so many close calls and like ridiculous like accidents where like I think just a tree fell the right way. where like I think just a tree fell the right way or when my ATV flipped over or when I got like clothes lined going like 20 miles an hour on a barbed wire fence and like hit between the barbs I was just like I got a purpose here like I don't think I could die and I just don't think I can and when I do die it'll be for a good reason I think so I just don't care after that clip I if I survived that fucking clip I might think the same goddamn thing. I don't blame you. Holy shit. For that one clip that you saw, there's six or eight more that were equally as, whoa, that went right past me, huh?

Do you hear it? Yeah, I heard it. You see it? Yeah, I saw it. There's plenty of those. As far as not being able to enjoy this gun or that gun, the trick is finding a game that involves those guns. So like we used to like target practice, like right next to one another for like, as a competition, just like throwing darts or something. I think if you did that a little, uh, like for shotguns, it's sporting

clays, you know, shooting targets in the air for like AR 15s. It's like a hundred yard steel targets that are shaped like animals that make a really, um, pleasant ping when you hit them. And when you play games with these guns and take them from being a weapon to being a tool for a game, just like a video game gun, you know, it's no fun to shoot a video game gun in practice mode at the ground, like who cares? But when you're in the game and it's for score, when it's for competition, then it's really fun. And when you do that with real life for competition then it's really fun and when you do that with real life guns then they become really fun i think i would probably enjoy it if it was not

for my anxiety disorder but they make me so fucking nervous like they feel hot in my hands even though they're cold you know what i'm saying like it's just like it's really hard to describe just how fucking terrified i am and i really did not even like holding a pistol and like in boy scouts you know like that's one of the badges I wasn't able to get was my shooting badge because fuck me, I was terrified of shooting them. A lot of people who aren't gun people

see the fun in it when they try it. No, don't get me wrong. I mean, not all weapons. I'm comfortable around fucking knives and swords and all that stuff. That doesn't really bother me much. Do you have any? Do you collect knives or swords or anything? I have a few. I've mostly been gifts.

It's not something I would buy myself, but I have like Frostmourne from World of Warcraft. My friend Kevin bought me that. Plasma sword from whatever then. The guys at Retropalooza last year had this knife signed by a bunch of wrestlers and everybody else at Retropalooza. It says like sharp as shit. I used it to destroy an Xbox but they still make me nervous I still have to take

testosterone injectables once a week and my wife helps me with it and when she's holding that needle I'm like borderline PTSD just like fucking shaking like this because I've been stabbed so many times in my life I've been stabbed four different times by my mother so yeah what would she stab you with whatever she had i mean just literally a glass bottle a couple times once with a uh fucking just butcher knife she just goes she just went to town yeah that's rough man where did she get you with the knife the knife again it was beneficial being fat she would generally scrape me across the stomach when i say stabbed i generally mean she was scraping across the thing she never really went for the jugular to try to

kill she was never going for an internal organ. She just wanted me to bleed. And so two times, it's arms, and then a couple times in the stomach. That is insane. My sister, this is one of my favorite stories. I'm only four, so I don't remember this. My brother does. But my sister and my mom are sitting next together at the thanksgiving

dinner my sister who must be 10 at the time is just kind of running her mouth running her mouth running her mouth running her mouth and my mom swear to god just got tired of it tired of trying to shut up so reached over grabbed the knife sunk it in my sister's leg and then said shut the fuck up and then asked my grandfather to pass her turkey and i don't know how that story ends because i've never heard it from my sister my brother but i've heard it both i'm like so what happened then it was like well i shut the voice sister said well i shut the fuck up and he passed with the turkey yeah you know and pulled the knife out and he had a nice rest of your dinner like you said that was your grandpa?

What did he do? Well, my grandfather was all kinds of abusive to my mother and her sister. So, I mean, it was just a cycle of abuse for them. But God bless me. I've only ever been in a couple of handful of fights myself in my life and i've never hurt another person i loved and and for the most part my my brother he wasn't perfect with his kids but uh he definitely managed to not fuck it up and my sister wasn't perfect with her kids but she managed to not fuck it up too bad now she's got grandkids and my uh my nephew just went off to play college football with a full ride full scholarship i forget what school i don't remember

as fuck i could ghoul it real quick if you want me to find out. It's no big deal. I've been following college football a little bit because my team, our team, we, the Georgia Bulldogs, are doing very well this year. We are doing very well this year. We're ranked fourth last time I checked in the nation. Doing really well.

I am 100% on the bat and wagon. First loss, completely right off, and I'll go Alabama or something like that. really well. I am 100% on the bat and wagon. First loss, fuck, I'm just completely right off and I'll go Alabama or something like that. Man, I hope so much that Mizzou pulls the biggest upset of the year and beats Georgia.

It's going to be a fisting this weekend. Oh, yeah, everybody knows it's going to be a fisting, but that's why it would be the biggest upset ever at the UGA field. I want someone who's listening to this please make a photoshop for me it's not that hard find an image of a man fucking a woman with her face in a toilet and put uga on the man and the zoo on the woman because that's what's coming it's a humiliation

fuck it's gonna i predict we drop at least 40 the spread is 40 for me like we beat you by 40 we might put 50 on it's gonna be a rough outing 7 30 p.m eastern time uh saturday night it's a coming yeah i have a friend who's going and uh you know obviously to root for mizzou and we were like so you you think you're gonna have fun he's like oh yeah we're gonna get beat so bad the fans there won't even be angry like they'll just be like hey it's really fun of going to have fun? He's like, oh yeah, we're going to get beat so bad the fans there won't even be angry. They'll just be like, hey, it's really fun of you to come down. Good job supporting your piece of shit team. Unless

that upset happens, which it won't. The higher you get in the stands, the meaner and drunker the fans are. You should keep that in mind. The guys up high throw bottles. So that's never nice. I don't go to the games i've had some bad experiences at those games it's a it's a rough time is it actually a fun environment

though uh i think it's at georgia but i'm not sure um i have no interest i have no interest in attending a sporting event i don't fucking get it um woody and i went to joe lozon's fight we had like 300 tickets maybe. We got tickets with the idea that we might never do this again. And there's these two little action figures that are about six inches tall kicking it.

And I'm just like, so that's Conor McGregor, huh? But you had tickets at a hockey game. Wasn't that pretty good? Now that was a different story. We bought very expensive tickets at the hockey game, maybe $300 each, something like that. They charge that much for Colorado, huh? You'd think Colorado would have, like, a discount or something.

And they came with free, they came with as much beer and food as you could eat and drink, which was lovely. You had to go to, like, the beer and drink area, but you could double fist the beers. You could, you know go back with two beers a person so that was cool i don't drink a lot so i i don't know i had two beers but you had fun with it because it was close you could see the action and it was fast and stuff we're right behind the bench so i can you know i'm looking i'm you know there's glass between you but the players are right there i could see a mole on the back of his neck or whatever like like incredibly close so that was good like like that's a different story hockey's

a different story anyway because it doesn't get hot in there it's actually chill it's it's cool in there so you're not going to get hot and sweaty and gross like you do at a football game i've i've been to a braves game and i was right on the third baseline like two or three rows up i was one row behind the players um like family members like and i was mad i was like wait a minute so you're telling me i got to be related to one of these motherfuckers to sit right there there's no price i can pay to sit there and they're like yeah you can't and the worst part is like people keep coming out of this tunnel below them with like nice food like not stadium food like cakes and pies and cappuccino and espresso.

I want to go to there. Yum. Yeah. It looked wonderful. The trick must be to be related to one of these ball players. Or you can just have sex with them. So you know enough about College Bowl. Tell me if this is the type of equipment he's wearing in the photo or tell me if this is the school.

Samford? S-A-M-f-o-r-d is that a college yeah yeah okay is that a good college is that a good team not not in football i don't think i i remember i see their name i think on the on the uh the brackets for for for basketball maybe that like i'm not a big sports fan all all. But I watch a lot. Well, there you go. I just doxed my nephew. Hi, Cole. And you've completed the doxing. Yeah, yeah.

He's a track down now. When the internet comes to get you, it's my fault. But it will be cool because there will be somebody who listens to PKA at that school. And they'll be like, oh, my God, your uncle. Yeah, that's going to be cool. Samford played UGA this season. I'm going to see Cole again, I'm going. Right, right, right.

That's coming. Samford University, Alabama is what somebody says. Okay, cool. Thank you. We're between topics. It seems like we're between topics. I saw this video. It was a bit on Reddit today, but it was in the comments.

I'm hoping not everyone has seen this already. This was brand new to me it is an mtv show where they bring in like two family members or two friends or something and they choose each other's tattoo and they're idiots this is a four minute video but i promise you the payoff is there. And these are true, actual, permanent tattoos. Well, you know, that's the way it's portrayed. I haven't gone and done my research on it or anything. The title on this video is, Lauren is raging when she sees the tattoos Sophie designed for her the first time. Yeah.

This program contains strong language, moderate pain, and scenes that some viewers might find offensive. Are you guys ready for this? It's four minutes long, but I swear it's ready. Alright. I'm good. Three, two, one, play. This program contains strong language, moderate pain, and scenes some viewers might find offensive. Just take two of us.

This sounds like Kyle's kitty accent. Just take two of us. Don't like Kyle's kitty accent. Just tattoo of us! Don't hate the player, hate the game! What is there to win? I'm really worried that Lauren might have gone too far with this tattoo. Because I know she isn't scared to go to the extremes. I've got a really bad feeling that if she's going to go all the way... These are really low class accents by the way.

This is it, this is the big reveal. You nervous? Where do you see the tattoos? Look at them. So that brunette is like crazy nervous that it's going to be bad. And the other one's not so worried. Where does it go?

They pick. to sophie but now it's just ready to go got one myself anyway they pick it's about trust right but how's that trust being misplaced so hers is clearly on the thigh let's do this go on buddy you stand there lovely ready you can't see it yet you're gonna put these little glasses on oh muscle okay where's danny boy give now mate. You take charge. He's a professional. I'm nervous. He's taking off the bandage. It seems that way. Would Taylor ask?

Is the point for the tattoos to be bad? Or embarrassing? Or you know, ridiculous tattoos? Something you would not want. Her reaction is fabulous. I'm sure it'll be well done, but it's just not gonna be. Oh, the fuck? Mine's loading now? Poor Taylor. Do you want us to pause and let you catch up? No, no, no. Forge ahead. I'll catch up. 148. 149. 150. 151.

It's an angry gorilla holding an enormous banana. Swinging on a vine. Look. It's not me. What did you think was gonna happen, you crybaby? What? It's adorable. It's not.

It's right on the back of her thigh, like below her ass cheek. And it's big. Is that where it is? It's on the front. Is it? That's worse. It's not good either way. Someone's wearing biker shorts every summer from now on. Oh, that's disgusting. Yeah, it's like 8 inches tall.

So now she's explaining the story I think it's cute It's like Donkey Kong I don't want my girl to have a Donkey Kong tattoo I would not date that girl So I guess she waxed her and she was hairy? How's everyone acting so flabbergasted? It's clearly a shit tattoo. So she's in tears. Now she chose the other girl's tattoo.

She says in tears. Now she chose the other girl's tattoo. I'm going to put the goggles on you. For your goggles. She says, cunt. See anything? I bet hers. I can't even look at Sophie. I've never felt so sick in my whole entire life. This has gone too far. I hope hers is also monkey related.

I'm not bothered. I know what it also monkey related. I'm not bothered. I know what it is. Thank you very much for that. I wish there was something crawling out of her ass. You may remove your goggles. One. Two. Three!

Oh shit it says slut on her ass. It actually does. And it looks like a wound. Yeah, it looks like she was branded like a cow or something. And the way the first girl reacted with the crocodile tears and the, oh my god, what did you do to me? Knowing full well what she did to their friend.

Taylor, you have to date one of these girls for a year. Based solely on the tattoo quality. Monkey girl. I don't even have to think about it more than once. I take the slut because I think it's funny and you don't show your ass cheeks nearly as much as you do the front of your thigh. Yeah, but...

Nobody's going to know but you. Honestly, that was a compelling argument. I changed my mind. Yeah, when you're fucking her, you're going to be in the... Yeah, my dirty slut. Yeah, you like it, don't you? You are a dirty slut. Stop bringing it up.

You know I didn't choose this. That's what I like. That's what I would say. Get your head. You time your orgasm with the toilet flush. Oh, God. There's a point right here that she, that the monkey girl was freaking out that much knowing that she put slut in a brand on this other girl's ass. Like she did not need to freak out that much.

At least she could have looked down and been like, all right, they didn't take the easy road, but they gave me something that's not slut, you know, brazenly plastered on my ass. I'm not totally sure this is real because like i could believe that there is a show that does this for real but it's it's really easy to fake that like like like they can because you know we've seen movies where guys are covered up with tattoos and stuff and they might look very way back in the day when i was in high school people would get temporary tattoos and they weren't the kind that children would have that you could literally wash off, but they lasted a week or two. Yeah, when I went to for like, what was it, senior trip. Yeah, when I went to senior trip to Panama Beach, we went and got some of those like fake tattoos.

We went into an actual tattoo parlor and one of the girls was getting a dolphin on her ass. And it was a little cute dolphin, like the size of your thumb. ass and it was a little cute dolphin like the size of your thumb and uh while i was there i was like they also did fake tattoos like airbrush them on with some sort of a permanent like mixture that lasts a week like you said like a shirt and i got i got on my on the back in my back from shoulder to shoulder i got mama didn't love me and so when i went home i like i got back at like five in the morning i got into bed and i and then my parents came into my room at like 8 a.m whenever they got up and they were like how was the trip and i was like oh it was great great great do anything interesting i was like well i got a tattoo and

they're like no you didn't i was like i did i did like all right all right well let's see it and i just rolled over onto my stomach in bed and kind of acted like I was just still sleeping and put my face in the pillow like my mom was like what does that say mama don't look that's not even proper grammar I'm a teacher that's not even proper grammar and I'm just like

what can I say I was drinking I don't know it is what it is I was like it's on there for life and then just waited until she lost her total mind before I told them it was a fake tattoo. So, yeah, I think maybe those are fake. I hope so because that Garuda is very unattractive and unappealing to me. Like, it's not a girl tattoo. On a scale of 1 to 10, it was like a 4 to me.

Like, it wasn't off the charts terrible like the brand was. It's tasteless. That's the thing. Like, it doesn't mean anything charts terrible like the brand was it's tasteless that's the thing like it doesn't mean anything like that's not donkey kong if it were donkey kong oh that wouldn't change anything to me it changes a lot to me because it oh yeah then like you get i'm at here's the difference it's the difference between getting a plumber tattooed to your leg and getting mario tattooed to your leg right like what tattooed to your leg, right? I bet they couldn't do Donkey Kong because of some kind of copyright thing. They're like, oh, you gave me Donkey Kong?

No, no, no, we didn't do that. This is Gorilla Greg. This is Donkey Kong. Okay, we don't want to get any trouble here. Notice he doesn't have the telltale cuteness or the collar with the DK. He doesn't throw barrels those are kegs if i was on that it's clearly enormous and way too big and i just just that's a terrible tattoo i would i would rather if i'm

getting one of those on me i might get the slut on my ass rather than the monkey on my thigh as a man you don't't want slut across your ass. Do you ever go to like public gyms or anything where you're going to be showering? No.

You want slut on your ass? And like at least as a guy, you can play off the funny shit better where like if you gave me that horrible thigh

monkey and banana tattoo, I could make something up and turn it into like a crazy story that ended up being funny. You know? Yeah, it's true. But it would still not be good. good yeah it's not a good tattoo I would not take part in that show what is the prize money and how do you win it

I'm gonna tattoo removable money you know you know PK a Danny's been on the show he's got a great big Bart Simpson on his deltoid and he's like yeah not all my decisions are good he just rolls with that yeah he got it when he was like 20 or something which is cover it up like see that's the good thing about tattoos is not you can get them removed of course but if you're a tattoo person if you get one tattoo and you're like oh i messed up then it's it's tattoo removal time but if you've got like six eight tattoos and one of them's just gross or old or faded or stupid now or out of touch, get it covered up.

You know, put cover up. Cover up, spaffle me. Like, they'll be like, hey, this is what it was before and this is what it is now. And I'm like, I don't even see the before in there. Like, you know when you're a bad student and you turn the F into an A, but there's still the F there because the top is not supposed to be flat? I that's a cover-up that I understand what

I see them do with tattoo like it baffles me you'd hardly know the first one was there that's the best one I've ever the best one I've ever seen there's somebody got like this really shitty Pikachu on their back and it's just like looks like it was drawn by a kid and so they decided to get it modified and what they did is they had an expert artist create a Pikachu that's drawing himself

and they put it like in a frame or whatever and so it's like that's what Pikachu is drawing the original tattoo and I'm like that's fucking brilliant I like that better than any tattoo you could have gotten I think I've actually seen that too yeah where it's more of a joke I'm like that's fucking brilliant I like that better than any tattoo you could have gotten I think I've actually seen that too where it's more of a joke I'm like oh Pikachu sucks at drawing

because he's a Pokemon I like that actually it makes it better of course but like which is linked one people are looking at it on screen now where I can see the original sort of underneath the final one

but it's neat that the original was preserved in the Pikachu version. I thought that was cool. Wow. Maybe Chiz can find that. I don't know. But yeah, it's good art. I'm impressed with the talent it takes to do it,

but I'm glad that's not my arm. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I don't know how long I would be totally sold on having a giant samurai on my arm you know I maybe this guy's Japanese and it plays into some like thank you to you know cultural thing but if I got like it'd be like me getting Chinese characters I feel like number one I don't know that who whatever dude I'm

gonna find in Missouri to do the tattooing is You know fluent in Mandarin Also, it's just it doesn't it's so hack, you know It's like having a tribal tattoo that would suck to get a tribal tattoo Before like right before it became a total joke, you know where it's like, oh what tribe are you from like Mac from? It's always sunny. But yeah, are you from? Like Mac from It's Always Sunny. Oh, yeah. Did you see the Jeremy Lin own that guy? How good tattoos are is directly related to how good of shape you're in. Ah.

The entire family. Jeremy Lin is an NBA player. And I think, gosh, I'm not an expert in basketball. But anyway, he's an NBA player. And I guess his hair now is like cornrows or something. Like might be common in the NBA and another guy retired player maybe Kenyon Martin but I'm not positive started giving him shit about cultural appropriation and he replied back respectfully and then pointed out

that that guy had Chinese characters on his arm and that you know was just a celebration and he really owned him it It was pretty fantastic. I saw something like that. Honestly, it seems like in most cases, cultural appropriation is just someone who isn't comfortable with sharing. Where it's like, if I jerk chicken in my kitchen one night,

I'm not appropriating Jamaican culture. I just wanted some jerk chicken. If I get a tattoo of a guy in a sombr culture. I just wanted some jerk chicken. If I get a tattoo of a guy in a sombrero, I just wanted a tattoo with a sombrero. I just had this epic debate with somebody about culture appropriation, right? And it's because we went and saw this play

about Sun music in Memphis, like Sun Records, where they signed Elvis and the man in black. What's his name? I remember the guy saying Hurt. Oh, Johnny Cash. Yeah, Johnny Cash and all those different guys.

I was going to say Will Smith. I was going to say Trent Reznor. The entire point of Sun Records basically was there were a bunch of white kids who would go to these clubs on the weekend, and they would listen to the black music and they liked the black sound, but they would not buy black records, but they liked the sound. So the whole point of coming up with Elvis and training Elvis, who was originally used to singing gospels and stuff like that, to sing what he did and Johnny Cash and all these other people was to culturally

appropriate the musical sound that they created the black people created so the white kids would buy the records that's culture appropriation i agree with that i'm okay with that being culture appropriation me eating chinese food is not that that they were literally sun records set out to absolutely rob the black man of the record sales by putting white people in creating that same type of music they're creating the market right white people wouldn't now white people buy black records all that they even think twice of it i don't it doesn't enter my mind the race of the artists that i'm buying from and maybe it's because of sun records doing them that solid right i mean that might very well be it but it's a different time in the fucking 60s you know uh completely different time there's no way your parents will

let you bring home an album that has a four black men on the cover can you imagine could you fucking imagine in the 60s jackson five right yeah well i mean yeah i'm sure they were they they sounded white as shit though didn't they they sounded really good aabc they're at a crawl for us one two three right that was a fucking hit i that that's that's the best that's some of the best michael jackson little mike little michael that kid could fucking sing his daddy beat some talent into his no shit that's a that that's a really good uh example of where child abuse can be a good thing a lot of people think a lot of people think you know know, man,

he must have been a terrible father. But in reality, you think about it, my mom beat me, and all I got was fat. At least Michael Jackson got talent, you know? And he turned into a white woman. I mean, think of all the benefits of that. A rich white woman? Come on. That's a good, yeah. But here's the thing thing when people talk about culture appropriation when it actually happens like in that case yeah i get it but no me putting fucking you know neo on the playstation because i'm a white man going to go kill a bunch of fucking japanese mythic demons does not make me a bad person that's not a bad person robbing the black people of their sound so they could die in poverty that's a shitty thing

i find that to be bullshit you're like they didn't rob them of their sound like i know if they stole their song that'd be different but to be inspired by their song and make your own version of it like suddenly it's off limits to you because of your skin color that's as racist as i can think of like that's right and as I can think of. Don't get me wrong. I don't particularly mind. I fucking love Elvis. I've been listening to Elvis since I was a kid. I listen to Elvis now. I went and saw a play about Elvis two weeks ago. Shit.

If you're white, you're only allowed to be inspired by white artists? That's racist. That record label's intention. That was his intention. He's like, that sounds really good. Let's steal it. That was his intention. I think if my intention is to steal, yeah. If my intention is, man, you know what I really like is selling Chinese food to people, especially Americanized Chinese food. I don't think that makes me an asshole. You know? No. Well, what's like another

example of when it, when you think it's legitimate because that's the only one i see where what he's coming from with that where if they were stealing lyrics and stuff i can see that but that's not so much cultural appropriation as it is thievery and plagiarism you know shiz just mentioned halloween costumes that's the biggest bullshit in the world on the weekend i on the one night a year i want to dress up like an American Indian. Hey, fuck you. My father was an American Indian. Eat my ass. You don't know me.

But anyway, that said, oh, we're not a costume. You are tonight. It's Halloween. Get over it. Yes. And even if your father wasn't a Native American, you could still dress up like whatever you want. Hey, if anyone on the subreddit dresses up as Woody's Gamer Tag, right? You need some plaidid shorts, maybe cargo,

a t-shirt. Definitely cargo. Please, post a picture. I would laugh out loud if you were me for Halloween. It won't bother me in the slightest. And if it does bother you, then you're a silly head. Absolutely. I've got my ancestry DNA test

right here in the shorts. Get out! You did it? I just pulled it out and look at it. I have it. I haven't sent it in yet. I gotta spit and then wrap it up and mail it. Well, that could take years. It doesn't take long for me to get it done. I'm no better. I'm no better. I really need to do it because there's nothing to it.

Is it in the box or is it out of the box? Can you spit in the tube right now on the show so we can confirm that you didn't have a pure Aryan fellow spit in it before? I don't want that. Is this one of your sponsors, by the way? No, no, it's not. No, it's not at all.

Because then I have a story to tell. It's Ancestry DNA something or another. But I'm going to do this and send it in and i get you guys back the results and here's what i'm hoping and praying that i've got enough african and enough native american that i'm not as racist anymore that i have a leg to stand on when i when i go after those groups i hope i have a little bit enough of everything that i can shit on everyone as much as i want because come back next week and you've permed your hair. Jerry Crowley. This is literally a South Park episode by the way. It absolutely is. I saw it and it made me think about

this even more because with the Columbus Day thing and everyone shitting on Columbus Day, I have this opinion that there were just a bunch of savages here and they needed a good killing so that we could have all this land so that we could make something real cool. We could bring the modern, civilized world here.

Manifest destiny. Manifest destiny. Thank you. I'll get that tattooed somewhere. I'll get that crying Indian with manifest destiny right on it. Because those people needed a good massacring. They needed some genocide. First of all, we only killed like 10-15%

of them with guns and fists and knives and shit. Most of it was disease. Don't forget the smallpox plates. Most of it was disease. We weaponized a little smallpox, but mostly it was accidental disease that got them.

Was smallpox blankets the thing in North America, or was that in the Conquistadors in South America? We always do it. Although the Conquistadors were Spanish, so the white man shouldn't take the brunt of that, I don't think.

What happened to the South Americans, that's on Spain, but we don't see... There are no Spanish people who feel bad about that. Are Spanish people white? I feel like whites shrunk a little bit. Are Italian people white? I don't see... There are no Spanish people who feel bad about that. Are Spanish people white? I feel like whites shrunk a little bit. Are Italian people white? I don't even know. It depends how white you are. Yeah, Italian people are white.

Okay, alright, so here's my ancestry DNA story. So my brand manager... I'm not supposed to tell the story, but I want to tell it to your audience. This will be the first time I've ever told the story. So Ancestry DNA reaches out to me and they want to work with me. So they send me the kit and I send

in the kit and me and my wife both do it. Then just before I get the results of my kit back, they back out of the deal because they don't feel comfortable with all of my content, which is fine. This is why I'm not supposed to tell the story because I guess this will burn the bridge finally but that's fine but that doesn't keep him from doing the test for me and sending me the results so i get the results now my dad my grandmother on his side his grandmother my grandmother, my great-grandmother, was pure-blood Cherokee, meaning her son was half, and then dad

would have been a quarter, so I should have been about an eighth. So when I did my ancestry DNA, there is a zero. There's not even trace amounts of Native American in me. That means my dad's probably not my dad. And now they'll tell you at Ancestry DNA, that's not exactly how DNA works. It doesn't guarantee that I would get any of the American Indian from my dad, but certainly in 99.9% of cases, there would at least be trace, but there was no trace Native American in me. So, and then you add to the fact that my mother was a fucking whore not she didn't get paid for it but she was a slut she was an amateur whore right and so then immediately i my conception story my mom did your parents ever tell you your conception

story like apparently that's just part of mom's abuse but uh she looks at me one day and she's like you know i i knew that i'd fucked up with your brother and i knew i'd fucked up with your sister but i wanted one more baby and i was getting to where i wasn't going to be able to have a baby again and me and your dad had not been together since um we had your sister so i decided one night that i would get him good and drunk, and then I seduced him, and the next thing you know, I'm pregnant with you. Now, that's a load of horse shit, but I didn't know – I had no reason to suspect it, especially when she told me when I'm like 12 or whatever. And she's like, and that's why I always wanted to be good with you. That's why I always wanted to get you right.

You're the most – you're the one free chance I had, the one chance I had, da-da-da. And, you know, of course, she's fucking – and meanwhile, beating me like a pincushion and fucking me up sexually. But that means I'll never, my mom is dead, and my dad is dead. So I can't possibly find out who my father is. And if I wasn't a nihilist,

this shit would fuck with me, but I say it's super funny. And so I'm like, I call Ancestry DNA, I call my brain manager back up, and I'm like, dude, I've got a fucking story to tell tell this to the folks at ancestry and ask me they'll pay me to do it it's like i think they will with the next campaign but this campaign's currently over and i'm like oh shit and so i've sat on this for like six months or whatever and how long after you got the result and you like analyzed it did that pop into your head like was it at first like it's weird like well the very first thing i did i was the first thought

i had i was like literally there's no native american and i'm like honey is yours weird is there native american in yours like maybe we swapped the vials because we did it at the same time it's like is there any native american issues like nope zero percent and i'm like huh well is yours what you expected it to be she's like it's really close uh there's less italian to me than i thought but there's more or whatever and i'm like okay apparently i'm german french and i'm like oh shit like this is so bad this is like as bad as it could be and then i called my brother up and i'm like hey brian did you ever get ancestry dna done he's like no and i'm like, hey, Brian, did you ever get ancestry DNA done? He's like, no. And I'm like, will you? Because I want to know if we're related.

And he goes, well, we both came out of the same vagina. And I'm like, okay, that's true. That's true. Well, we have different dads. And he's like, what? Man, do you look like your brother at all? Surprisingly in the face, I do. But my brother is super, super fit. He was super short throughout high school

until he got to 10th grade. And then like in the summer of 10th grade, he grew five fucking inches. It was insane. Um, but because of that, he had like this Rudy mentality where he had to just hit the gym all the time and just be super strong and super buff. And the fact that he got picked on in high school too, was a big part of it too, getting roughhousing or whatever. Um, and so by the time he graduated high school, he was a fucking monster. And then he went to get a degree in health science. He played football. He did track and field for college. He got a scholarship of track and field. And then, um, he's just always been in and out of the gym. And right now he recently got a divorce. So he added like fucking 30 pounds of muscle mass. and it's so funny because

4chan uh they they were obsessed with me for a while they discovered that my brother was fit and they lost their fucking minds and i'm like we don't even have the same dad assholes i don't even know genetically you know how similar we are but my brother and my sister are a lot more alike than me or either of them so we had a girl in my high school. We were doing a thing where they'd prick your finger and tell you your blood type, but we also got our parents' blood types, and it's like they genetically kind of work it all out. And in that class,

I still remember her name. I won't dox her, though. She learned that her dad wasn't her dad. Yeah. Nice. Yeah, her blood, like, oh, with these two parents, then you have to,

there's like a couple of options you could be, and that wasn't one of them. And it blood, like, oh, with these two parents, then you have to, there's like a couple of options you could be. And that wasn't one of them. And it was just like, oh. Oh, man. Exposed. I don't think they do that anymore at that high school. It was a rough way to find out you're adopted. Yeah.

In bio class in front of everybody. Yeah, that's rough. Like, I think the only thing worse than that would be to find out that, like, you out that you were a hermaphrodite or something. Or you were like, you know, there are some people who were born with both sexes, so they just have a little surgery immediately. And then they just, oh yeah, you're a girl from now on. If you found out that there was something crazy about you. That's heavy stuff. I don't know if you want that in the school with the rest of your peers around and stuff.

I don't know if you want that in the school with like the rest of your peers around and stuff. I mean, I think that most like I know that I've heard of what you're saying where like you could find out that you have like X, Y, Y or X, X, Y or whatever it is. Like your chromosomes are different because it's an actual disorder. Don't you usually know? don't you usually know? Don't like if her... You're breaking up. You're breaking up, Taylor. It does seem to be... Bogey might think it's him.

Yeah, I thought it was me. You're breaking up, Taylor. Oh, you might be better now. Your video's working. But I think there's a high like association you know people who are hermaphrodites oftentimes you know are one of those like girls they didn't get the parts they ordered but yeah not not every time i remember there was a girl on howard stern and she was trying to tell them she had a penis and the end tower's like come over here and show me

come on get back here and he she comes behind like that he's you know he's in this like booth like this corners type thing and she takes her pants down and shows him he's like oh god you're all woman honey but you need to lose some weight you gotta lose some weight and like robin was a nurse and uh in the in the navy and stuff and so she he's like robin you saw it what do you she's like she's a woman she's definitely a woman but uh you know it. She's like, she's a woman. She's definitely a woman. They were just like, first of all, get on the treadmill. She's like, no, no, no. I have a penis.

You couldn't convince this woman that she did not have a penis. I guess she just had a big clit or something. She thought that was a cock. How did she not? Do you pee out of it? No? It kind of comes from right there near the clitoris that you read through it you know vaginas are just a whole mess down there

and if you've got a big old outie vagina like like at least you look at a cock and balls and you know what everything does right away and and of course there are some smaller ones and some bigger ones and some are cut and some are uncut but that's about all of the variety the principle is the same yeah yeah it all but but there are some vaginas and you're just like whoa i'm not sure if it's a close-up of the vagina sometimes you can't tell which side is up and which side is down like there are some fucked up pussies that's why i tell women like you gotta get that surgery you gotta get your pussy fixed it's it's it's not a big deal if i had an ugly pussy i would definitely get that surgery get that thing fixed the lady would your dick have to be for you to get something done about it if i were uncut and i had one of those like

anteater really gross uh foreskins i would 100 get circumcised as an adult like i i would go through that very painful process i've that i've that I've heard that you need to go through because I've heard of guys, for a number of reasons, they get circumcised as an adult. Some just want the aesthetic. That's the minority. Some are converting to Judaism to get married to a Jewish woman, and that's a requirement. They're like, yeah, I have to get this done or I can't marry into this family. And some have this condition, I don't recall the exact name of it, but where the foreskin won't retract all the way.

And it'll actually tear in some situations when the man becomes erect. And it makes them like not sexually functional. And so they have to get that taken care of. But I would do it for cosmetic reasons alone. Like if it just looked ugly, I'd have to get that taken care of. But I would do it for cosmetic reasons alone. If it just looked ugly, I'd have to get that taken care of. By the same regard, there's too much body acceptance in our modern society.

Have you ever considered having your scrotum ironed to get out those wrinkles? I iron it every week. I put the iron on low. I use the steam setting. But god damn if it doesn't hurt. Have you ever seen anything for beauty? When we're using the rice cooker,

I just knock out two birds with one stone. Have you ever seen a webbed vagina? Webbed vagina? Is this one of the hymen possibilities? Yes, so basically there's a hymen possibility, and there's also the pussy lips growing together, which is very unlikely.

But that has happened. But there is a fucking... The webbed hymen is one of the weirdest things you'll ever fucking see. Well, now we have to find images. Yeah, I just Googled it. I know Kyle's on the hunt. Oh, I'm showing you something completely different.

It's going to be grosser, I bet. Yeah, it is grosser. It is. Yeah, man, that must really suck to have a webbed vagina. How old do you get until you figure out that it's webbed? Like the first time you try and have sex and nothing happens? Right, like it probably wouldn't break or whatever. like you wouldn't be able to get anything in there at all oh that sucks ah that's that sounds worse than having the what did you call it

phimosis chis the the uh anteater foreskin that Kyle was referencing. Oh, goodness. Extreme... Oh, my God. Kyle just linked a video of a woman who appears to have a master lock going right through those labia minora. Why? Why?

That's the labia... No, you're right. Oh, she is definitely getting anal. Oh, my goodness. Why? She has a good half a dozen studs in there, too. Yeah, her vagina is all pierced shut, and there's a tiny little padlock also put through the bottom of the labia minora,

and she's getting fucked in the butt. Yes, they found a little locking system. Because she's all locked up. I'm locked up, can't let me out. Did you have this bookmarked? I'm just, you know, I know where to go. And look at the gentleman's scrotum. It has like a bunch of ball bearings stuck to it.

Yeah, I like that. You can get this thing as a guy where you get little BBs inserted under the skin of your penis, so your dick is ribbed for her pleasure, if you will, and so it's got all these bumps on the underside of it, and you know, they put larger BBs a it's bigger than a bb um it's maybe three times bigger than a bb it's it's almost buckshot size like turkey shot it's like a like a number four shot if you're uh if you're uh firearm inclined this is horrible they've taken the human genitals and made them as ugly and unappealing as possible. Ah, there's worse than that. There's somewhere they sew the vagina shut. I like Booker's face.

Of course. They suture the pussy closed. And sometimes they put something... But for what purpose? Well, it's varying purposes, but, you know, sometimes they put awful things in the pussy and then sew it shut. Like, they'll put a bunch of wasps in there or something crazy. What?

You know, some worms. I saw this one the other day where they just put a funnel in this chick's ass and they just fill her ass with baby eels. And then she's just shitting. I know exactly the video you're talking about because I think we've watched it on PKA.

Yeah, man. It's upsetting. If I remember it correctly, you're before, and it's upsetting. Yeah. It's upsetting. If I remember it correctly, it's like you're watching it, and it's like nobody, not even the eels are down for this. No, the eels. Like nobody wants to be a part of it. Well, that's the point. They want out.

You know, I come on to PKA about once a year, give or take, and each time I do, you guys are going through a particular phase, right? take. And each time I do, you guys have grown through a particular phase, right? There's the first time you guys were a real sports phase, and then for a while you're a fairly conservative phase. And this is apparently the eels in a sewn-up vagina phase. And I think it's my favorite

phase. It's really good. It's really good. Those aren't phases. Those are just us. You know? We could go on and on about MMA for four hours if you wanted to. We could go on about conservative politics for four hours and taking the women's rights away and putting them in their place. Or we could talk about this disgusting, fucking horrible pornography.

I could do that for eight hours. I think I'm enjoying the disgusting fucking pornography. I'm enjoying this. Yeah, I don't that for eight hours. I'm enjoying the disgusting fucking pornography. I'm enjoying this. Yeah, I don't care for that. Kyle could give a high-level collegiate professor-level lecture on fucked-up porn. And the kind where it would take Kyle maybe 45 minutes to throw together a 30-slide PowerPoint with all sorts of references and things. You really could. Yeah, I, uh, you're exposed.

Your videos is very high up again. Yeah. What the fuck dude? Yeah. I, you know, pornography is a weird thing. It's a, cause there's definitely people who you get desensitized and you have to go up another level. And level and uh that's not necessarily me like i'm not into this like this this i don't like pain like actual pain like spanking is one thing but i don't like the caning i don't like the whipping and so i definitely don't like this like vagina like i want a pretty vagina that's very important to me a very attractive vagina we talk

about the any subreddit art any and how those are like perfect vaginas and i'm really into that like it should just be like a little slit like i don't want anything coming out i just want like a perfect like shaved like it could be fat like the the labia majora can be like puffy and like there's that one gift that everyone's probably seen where the the chick's kind of got her knees pulled up and she's like flicking her labia majora and it's so fat and perfect that it goes down wow wow wow wow every time she flicks it so hot love that but all this stuff with the piercings in her vagina and the master lock and all that that's not that's not good but like I feel like she's

kind of crossed over from fetish to mental illness a little bit, if she's into that. I think she's deep in that field. Yeah, that's not for me. But it's funny to talk about and look at,

because the mentally ill are there to entertain us in some situations. And through our entertainment, they can heal themselves. Probably. As far as we know. Alright, let me do a little ad read here. Tell everyone about

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And maybe a quick word from stitch fix i really like stitch fix i uh before i do this little advertisement read i just wanted to say i got i think four shirts uh this pair of jeans from them uh i like everything that i've gotten uh the shirts fit me really well the uh the jeans had this unique little thing where inside the back pockets, there's a little bit of like sticky rubber type stuff. Like it's got a little bit of resistance to it so your wallet doesn't slip out and stuff kind of stays in your pocket. If you're like a lot of guys, you probably think, you could probably think of a million things you'd rather be doing than shopping for clothes. Between the parking and the crowds of the mall and the endless browsing and lack of advice online, it's enough to make you want to rock the same t-shirt and jeans forever. But you can't. So let me tell you about Stitch Fix Men. They've reimagined how to find and buy clothes and you never even have to leave your house. It's that easy. Just go to stitchfix.com

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Check them out. Yeah, we all got some of that stuff. I'm really digging it. I don't think Woody got any because he's never on Skype, so he didn't see the links and get the prompts. So I know that Taylor got a lot of stuff. I think Taylor got some stuff. I know Chiz got a bunch of stuff. But yeah, really digging their stuff. And you kind of pick the style you want. So there's this questionnaire you fill out that takes maybe five minutes.

And if you need a lot of stuff for business attire, they'll send you blazers. If you want shoes, they've got shoes, accessories. And I sort of click. I like jeans and button-up shirts and stuff like that. So that's all I got. I got a bunch of button-up shirts and jeans. If your shoe game isn't at least decent, you need to step that up. I saw somewhere some study or survey or something that asked what was one of the first things that women notice about a guy.

And it's shoes. They notice shoes, which is weird because we don't notice shoes. We just notice like, hey, that thing that they're standing on makes their ass look great. But it's never the shoes that you're noticing. And so if you're going out there and beat up, you know, mowing the lawn sneakers, it's no dice. You got to step up your game. Look a little, look like you care.

But what if I genuinely don't care? You know, these clothes don't fit me anymore. These clothes do not mean shit. Look at this. Look at this fucking shirt. This shirt does not fucking fit me anymore. I'm still wearing it. Yeah, that is an enormous shirt.

Yeah, fuck it. I'm in a 5X. This is a 7X. Who gives a shit? Whatever. It's clothes. My shoes are slippers. I don't give a fuck.

But I'll tell you what. When I get down to like a normal size, I'm calling. Who's that company? I'm going to call them. I'm going to be like, style me, baby. Make me look good. Because I'm going to need it. And you'll use our coupon code to make sure you get it.

Of course. What was the name of the company again? Let's say the name again. Stitchfix.com. Stitchfix.com. Stitchfix.com. I will check them out. Slash PKA. Yep.

Check them out. What's the most expensive thing you've ever bought on Amazon? We're on some, I got some AMA questions here. What's the most expensive thing you've ever bought on Amazon? I wonder if Amazon can tell me. Yeah, I was about to say, I'll check my order history. Yeah. Probably PC parts.

Probably a video card at $700 seven or eight hundred let's see i have no idea i usually order smaller things off amazon if it's that expensive i like to go to a store most of the time make sure yeah but then you pay tax on it man i don't see a way to order it i pay tax on my amazon stuff i think i i do now but i didn't for a long time. I definitely bought that 4K TV. I bought two 4K TVs at the same time. One was like $500 and the other was like $750. I gave one to my dad.

I didn't order any of my PC parts from there. I used different websites. I ordered like $100 of my PC parts from there. I used different websites. I ordered like $100 of candle making supplies like three months ago. I'm paid dividends. I'm pretty sure I ordered $4,000 worth of CPUs.

Ah, that's the winner right there. You win. Yeah. Other than that, I mostly order supplements and that's about it. I got some workout stuff. Yeah, I order a lot of stuff from Amazon. The total amount spent on Amazon is probably absurd.

It would be a shocking amount, tens of thousands of dollars, but that's pretty much where everything that I get comes from. Everything comes from Amazon. It's wonderful. Every day it's like Christmas. I like opening the packages. This week I spent about $200 on a first aid kit at Amazon. It was like $150 or something.

Then I added another $50 worth of stuff. I felt like it missed. But when I broke my leg, the instructor had a first aid kit that he broke out and he splinted it and bandaged it up and stuff and sort of stabilized it and it's like i there should be that guy in our group it might as well be me so uh yeah do that i'm gonna take a first aid course and i bought a book and i'll be you know mildly competent you know in case someone gets hurt to be that gap between when real pros arrive have you ever cut yourself badly and then had to go use your first aid kit and the only kind of first aid kits i've

ever gotten are the kinds like at walmart that cost 8.99 and i've always just assumed like that says it's got a fucking red cross on it i'll be fine if something happens and like you cut yourself on your hand or something you open that thing and you're like oh my god this has nothing that i need it's got like small band-aids and uh you know a tiny tube of neosporin which isn't good for really deep puncture wounds apparently according to the the internet research i did when i gashed my thumb open um yeah bet you didn't know that but it was also like so it's bad if you have a bad wound or yeah yeah they were saying that it's not good to put on like deep wounds because it kills like good bacteria i guess that are that are trying to work in there or something i don't know i didn't i skimmed it uh i took their word for it from the post title but uh yeah i i should

invest in a in a first aid kit that's good idea. That's something everybody should have and something that I never think about. Ever. We've got another email question here. This one's for me. I'll make it quick. Threesome question for Kyle. My girlfriend and I have been attempting to have a threesome,

two girls, one guy, for some time, but have had no success. We have tried using dating apps, finding random sluts, and most of the tips that you've given in the past. One of the main problems

that I've encountered is that the third party is often worried about the social backlash or he said lash back i think it's backlash because we uh we because you know you're lashing the back because we live in a fairly small city and stuff gets around fast so the the trick is you want to set your location to a larger city, you know, 45 minutes away, an hour away, depending on you should make like a whole adventure out of this thing. Like, make it like if you live two hours

from the capital of your state, set it to there. Because then you've got millions of people presumably to sift through and you'll find someone that way. It helps if you're attractive and she's attractive, you know. I don't have any pictures of you here. I'm just going to assume that because you listen to our show, you're beautiful, both of you.

He'd be better looking if he was a Patreon. Much better looking. He is a Patreon or we wouldn't have this question here. Patron. That's so stupid. Touché. So yeah, set your location to a larger city like that, and that's two birds with one stone.

Not only do you have a bigger pool of sluts, as you call them, to sift through, but you also get away from that small town group of people. You don't want to bump into your three-way partner at Subway or something like that. That would probably be awkward. So that's the answer to your problem. Good luck. Have fun. Send pics. luck have fun send pics yeah definitely send pics send video i prefer pics video often shatters the illusion i bow to your experience yeah i don't need to see the part where like you know you accidentally

farted on girl number two or something and then everybody got red faced and had to clear the room and you realized you had to go shit. The girls are sitting there not wanting to do anything until you get back. I don't know. The more you're talking to me about this, the more you're selling me on it. This is true

blue amateur stuff. You have to get up and get the door. What do you eat first? What do you eat first? What do you eat first? I don't have a lot of snacks. I haven't gone shopping in a while. I've got some old Triscuits. You want some of that? That's a smelly fart. Did you guys do the Szechuan sauce

question? We didn't but we covered it pretty heavily. What's your guys' opinions on how McDonald's handled the Szechuan sauce this past weekend? Only select stores got around 20 packets leading to mass chaos that really let the fans down and it turned ugly quick. It's shitty for McDonald's to do things that way. They clearly did that on purpose. You know, they could have just made more sauce.

You know, it's not like they're a small batch kind of thing where you got some like Keebler elves making this shit up. There's a big machine that pumps this shit out, they were they clearly wanted to like drum up more hype and it'll probably benefit them I don't know I I have them thinking like we should do this and people being like really like how does this actually make us more money like a one-off batch is gonna disrupt operations we have all these efficiencies, processes, and you're going to trip them up so we can do this stupid cartoon bullshit? It's not like McDonald's is actually making sauce

anywhere. They just called someplace that makes sauce and they told them to mix them up some sauce. 20 packets of store is a ridiculously small amount. It's definitely meant to have the... This was the intended effect, to have this hysteria, to build the hype up even more.

Like, that's what this is all about. I could see it going both ways. I could see them, one, just half-assing it. Well, I don't know, like, not even figuring it out. I could see them just being corporately incompetent and like, all right, look, we'll do it. Your budget is $30,000. And with that, you know, they're able to ship 20 packets to a store well how long can you stop

the sauce production line well we need to make sure we still fulfill our buffalo and our you know uh honey mustard orders but we can we can take uh half a day to shut it down another half day to get the szechuan set up and then run it for two hours and see what we get like like yeah i could see it just as much like what he's saying, it being just corporate oversight and incompetence. They've got more of that Szechuan sauce sitting somewhere. I guarantee they've got

thousands of packets of that Szechuan sauce. Hopefully some guy who's at that place will find it. Then that's its own form of incompetence because if they have that much and they just hoarded it, then that's incompetence in its own way. They're going to release it. You're not capitalizing on it. They're going to have a second release.

They get to do it twice. Or three times. I'm not all up to date on the Szechuan sauce debacle. I'm very much assuming many of these things. This sort of marketing isn't a new thing for McDonald's either. Look at the McRib. They build this thing up. The McRib is back, but only for

a limited time. Come get this disgusting pork sandwich shaped as if it has ribs in it, because that makes no... As a kid, I remember seeing this sign, and I was like, how do you eat a sandwich with bones in it? And then, as an adult, someone was like, oh, no, there's no bones. I'm like, well, why is it shaped

like it has bones? I don't know. They just sort of pressure form it into that shape and put it on there. Because if you saw its natural shape, you wouldn't purchase it. I read on the internet that the timing of the McRib has to do with global pork prices. And when they hit a low, McDonald's will buy it.

And McDonald's literally raises the global price of pork. So then they get out of the McRib and they just buy it on the lows. I totally buy that. That's smart. Disgusting. I've never had one. They do the Monopoly thing.

Off the Szechuan stuff thing, I was looking around today for the worst corporate promotions of all time, things that have failed. I didn't know this, but apparently from like 1996 to like 2002 or something, when that first period in which McDonald's was doing the Monopoly promotion where you have to buy certain items, then you peel them off, and if you match up like Boardwalk and Park Place, you win a million dollars or whatever. Some dude on the inside just was giving out winning

pieces to his friends and family for six years they won 24 million dollars off of the mcdonald's event and like nobody legitimate won it for the first six years and then they had to be like oh oops uh yeah we fixed it we fixed yeah she just said 20 million dollars this uh this mcdonald's monopoly scam wow like i remember like that was happening when i was about 16 17 something like that because so i could drive to mcdonald's and i had the the board like in my glove box and i would go to mcdonald's and i would maximize the number of stickers i got like i'd order multiple orders of medium fries or whatever it was i don't recall and uh and if it got like oh it's a free fry circle back

around get another order of fries peel that and i was sticking them to that board and keeping up with it and i just remember thinking like all right if i get like one ventura avenue one baltic place or a or park place then then we're made baby and and i knew that the chances were slim but i didn't know they were fucking zero and And that's really shitty. That's really shitty. Yeah, the odds really were zero because you were competing against some shady McDonald's dude. Where's Bernie Sanders to tell us the system is rigged? What always fucked with me with that whole Monopoly thing is that most of the time I would never keep up with the game pieces, right?

Me and my family ate at McDonald's once or twice a month, but we would throw the pieces away. So what if you got Boardwalk, the one that you needed to win the thing, and then someone throws it away? That would fuck with me bad, right? Because then nobody gets the big prize, and that seems to be the risk they would run if it wasn't rigged. But somebody always knows.

I don't know. How the fuck do you know? Yeah, I don't know. Just as you can now register the pieces online sounds like a lot of effort to for for this mcdonald's promotion yeah actually you know what we're probably due for that i bet we get one of those in the next few months like we i haven't seen the mcdonald's i don't go there that often but i haven't seen in a while and i i didn't hear you mentioned the mcrib by the way i'm one of the fattest fucks on the planet and even even I don't like the McRib. Yeah, because you have some taste, right?

I liked it when I was a kid. The first time it came out, it tasted like it wasn't bad. The sauce was good. But I think I tried one like 10 years ago, and the sauce was just fucking terrible. I've had one bite of one McRib ever, and it was like, I guess I was 17 or 18 when it was around, and I went through, I ordered the little combo, I took one bite, one bite of this thing,

and almost felt like I was going to vomit. The sauce was sickly sweet, the technique, it was like the press didn't push down hard enough. And so it just like fell apart into ground pork bits. It was revolting. I can't believe that people enjoy that. Homer from The Simpsons liked it.

But he liked everything. They were getting paid off. I went to a McDonald's recently because we were traveling uh it was when we were traveling north and they i was like can i get an ice water and a gogurt please and they were like what and they're like i think the gogurt only comes in the happy meal and i'm like all right then ring me up for a happy meal and give me a water and a Go-Gurt, please, and keep the rest

of the Happy Meal. And I'm like, wait, what is the toy? And I don't know what the toy was, but I didn't want it. But that's all I could eat. That's the only thing I can eat is at McDonald's, pretty much. It's fucking a Go-Gurt and a fucking water. You should get the, like, what I used to do when I was on

some sort of crazy diet is I would get their grilled chicken sandwich, plain, and then I'd just eat the chicken. And it really is good chicken. It's really well seasoned. It's very good. Lately, I've been getting their signature sandwiches, the sriracha buttermilk chicken sandwich. It's like their fried chicken patty, but the good one, the butter milk chicken with these like fried onion things on them. They're a little crispy

with sriracha sauce all over it, but it's not just regular sriracha sauce. It's McDonald's sriracha sauce. There's a little something else in there, probably mayonnaise. And, you know, tomato, spinach. I think some places they put kale on there too, but not here. It's fucking delicious. It's really good. I eat two of those a day every day

and two large fries. Every day. It can't be be delicious i got a question for taylor yeah i could be a patreon so i don't think it's giving any way to say you have a marketing background some education do you feel like marketing and advertising impacts you differently having like seeing how the sausage is made being on both sides of it not not too much uh it depends on what what product it is what's being marketed because like they're if you're a big company all the so much of a company like coke or mcdonald's or burger king or pepsi like their marketing is not marketing at all like a smaller company like when dollar shave club was trying to get off the ground or something like that like for giant companies all you need to do is remind people they exist they already have all the requisite information to understand the products they sell

and all this like at most it'll be something like um you know oh a reminder that the mcrib's coming out but really you can just have a five second ad that says like we love to see you smile or whatever the fuck it is and everybody immediately knows like okay i'm reminded that it exists and that plants something in your head you know there's recency bias so later you'll be driving around and maybe you see a mcdonald's and you've subconsciously been considering it and thinking about it and you choose that over burger king because you most recently saw that like uh i don't know it's just funny when you talk to people who are like oh advertising doesn't work on work on me. It's like, well, that's not true. Let me look at what brands of clothes you're wearing.

Let me look at your car. Let's see what kind of things you pick at the grocery store. It impacts everyone, and it works. Big companies aren't stupid. The reason they spend so much on a Super Bowl ad is because, well, for Super Bowl, for one, it buys goodwill a little bit because it gives you a chance to be funny. well for one it buys goodwill a little bit because it gives you a chance to be funny and so like uh bud light that like was that thing from fucking 17 years ago it did great for them didn't say a

single thing about the beer or the hops or the pilsners because you just needed to remind people they exist whereas it's a lot more complicated if you're like a um trunk club or like one of our sponsors that's smaller trying to get up nature box whatever so uh yeah i think you look at it differently but at the same time i i don't think you ever become immune to advertising because so much of it is yes it's so subconscious for i was i will straight up tell you that when it comes to food advertisements i was fucking weak as shit man it was bad like so fucking like they would introduce like a new product at whatever or whatever Is it hey come try the nude naked chalupa? Whatever the fuck I was just yeah

It is so bad Taco Bell Taco Bell comes out with some new shit I'm a going like yeah, like recently I saw that they've got some gross stuff. They've got this thing It's I guess it's for breakfast. It's a taco, but the taco shell is a fried egg. It's a fried egg. Yeah. It's horrible looking. Yes, it's disgusting looking. It's got bacon in there, and I don't know

what else. I stopped at fried egg, because it looks like a fried egg. Like, you can see like the, you know, the yellow yolk in the center and everything, which doesn't even make sense, because it's displayed on the side. It's like they made a mutant egg. It's disgusting. I do have an answer for the advertising

looking at it differently thing. This is a good example of it. If you ever walk through the detergent aisle at your local store, you'll see Cheer and Bounce and Tide and all those brands. When you see those on TV, you'll see Cheer and Bounce and Tide and all those brands. And when you see those on TV, you'll see them advertised in similar ways because P&G owns pretty much the entire detergent aisle. And so they compete with each other. And so when you see a Tide advertisement or say a Bounce

advertisement, you'll be like, everybody knows that Tide gets the dirt out, but Bounce provides, you know, good smells, this, that, and the other. Everybody knows that Bounce is what you want for a good smell, but Cheer is what you want to really get those colors bright. And so it's like, wow, this is the same company talking down a little bit their own product, but not really, because they're really just reaffirming the primary core concept of the OX. Brilliant. Like, you're mentioning all of your products in that line, and you're mentioning to them, well, pretending that it's a different product. Oh, shit. Sorry.

When you want good internet, go with whatever company he doesn't fucking have. When it comes to advertising, man, I am such a fucking sheep and I hate it. And that's why I love YouTube Red and stuff because I never see ads anymore and I don't watch live TV. And I buy fucking whatever season pass I want for a show. Because it's just like 20 bucks or 30 bucks for the season of Rick and Morty and that's worth it, my time and money to not have to set through fucking ads.

The only downside is I have to wait another day. It's generally not up the same night. You have to wait until 4am. I feel like if we're paying, I'm the same way. I buy most, I buy these libraries of shows and then I have them on tap. And I feel like South Park is one that really bothers me because I want to watch that shit as soon as it comes out.

It was last night. I watched it on Comedy Central. I sat through the ads despite the fact that I own the goddamn season of South Park because I'd have to wait until today sometime to watch it otherwise. South Park because I'd have to wait till today sometime to watch it otherwise. HBO gets it because Game of Thrones is live on the app the exact same moment it's live on the... But not most of them.

So, alright, two things. First of all, I'm with Boogie where I don't get exposed to many ads and I have the same superpower everyone else does. The few that I see are banner ads and they're invisible to me. I don't think I actually see them or they have much value. And then on the HBO thing, they make me angry.

Like I know a show like Ballers is on a delay. Bill Maher show. What the hell is his name? Maher? The politics guy. Maher. Maher. His show is like two days late on HBO Go.

And John Oliver's show is late. And these shows are kind of timely. They're about news. And it's like, bitch, you wait until it's history before you put it on HBO Go? That sucks. Yeah, I strongly recommend to you, Woody, that you get Sling TV. Because you get HBO, like the real HBO, in conjunction with so much other stuff. I think the HBO add-on is like $15.

It's really worth it to me, I think. I use Sling TV pretty exclusively now. Like, I haven't hopped on Netflix in a while. South Park's most recent episode is really shitting on Netflix. They call Netflix to, like, pitch their own superhero show, and the way they answer the phone at Netflix is, Hello, this is Netflix. You've been greenlit. How can I help you?

That's pretty funny. I haven't been watching many commercial shows at all. It turns out my tastes have gone towards YouTube. Like that guy, I mentioned him on the show like three months ago. I've been waiting for his lake to fill.

I was very excited when he got heavy rains. Just like two days ago, it rained big for him. He gained like eight inches. I've been watching this couple, something about living in dreams, I forget. But they're building their own house together. And every day they work their asses off, like 12 hours a day, building a home together. They're trying to own house together. And every day they work their asses off, like 12 hours a day,

building a home together. They're trying to escape the rat race. And they're not rich or anything, but they just sort of left their jobs and they make YouTube videos about them building their dream house. And I find this stuff so much more compelling than whatever the current version of How I Met Your Mother is. My wife watches Raising Hope. I don't know if you guys know that.

It's a sitcom. Oh, wait, yeah. I pitched that to you guys last year. I've seen every episode of Raising Hope. Me too. I really like that show. It's very funny. It's a good show.

The mom is like a – they're white trash. They're poor and they're stupid. It's like Roseanne. It's like a modern Roseanne. I see my wife watching it all the time. They're poor and they're stupid. It's like Roseanne. It's like a modern Roseanne. I see my wife watching it all the time. My wife likes to watch shows she's already seen so that she can walk in and out of the room and stuff. And now at this point, I've seen good chunks of the show.

I know who the characters are. And it is so unappealing to me. I'm like, this is so fake. These people are literally actors. I mean, on on youtube you get hazed for hiring actors these guys do it way out in front like i don't know it it's just not what i've been watching anymore i prefer the realness i've been watching this guy on youtube called wrangler star oh sure and uh he's like a outdoorsman like he's uh like a smoke jumper type guy and a homesteader. Yeah, and so he'll do this thing.

The most recent thing I saw was the cheapest chainsaw on Amazon. I knew it was going to be that. Yeah. $110 chainsaw. The worst this on Amazon. And I've got a really nice Husqvarna chainsaw outside. And I've got a steel chainsaw. Steel.

And they're good chainsaws. You can chop, you can mow through some shit. They're very powerful. And so I was very skeptical when I saw this $111 chainsaw. It fucking worked. It fucking worked. It worked well. There were a couple little downsides to it. It's not like a $300 or $400 chainsaw. It's just not. But for $111, if you're putting together... It was a chainsaw. I can imagine if you were putting together a crazy Texas Chainsaw Massacre Halloween costume, take the blade off, but you've got it.

It's worth it to have that prop for your... It worked. He cut down a tree with it like it had a few downsides you know you turn it sideways and uh you know the fuel gets a little low it doesn't want to gas up you got to turn it upright and get it going again he does stuff like taking um two power drills and like locking them together and forcing them to fight each other until one dies uh really interesting stuff and you can copy one of his video ideas and but you know out in front be like this was inspired by him but he uh he bought a pair of steel-toed

boots and hit him with an axe one with an axe and one with a mall and uh you know that of course is near and dear to my heart because colin got hurt well after colin got hurt he was 12 he's 14 now i bought him like the greatest boots that a lumberjack could want you know there's there's like metatarsal particularly carbon fiber that goes up the laces and such and they're he's getting to the point where they don't really fit very well and i'm like i'm just a few months away from being able to run this test on expensive boots they might have been 300 i'd like to see that you know that'd be a video that interests me so i might do it i i would like to see that. That'd be a video that interests me. So I might do it. I would like to see that too.

Yeah, because he bought cheap ones. Yeah, and you've got two boots, obviously. So you could do a couple of different tests. An axe and a mall. Or an axe and a chainsaw. Or a truck. Like drive over it. Oh, that won't do shit.

Simulate just dropping a chain. Hold the chainsaw with one hand and then just let it fall onto it. Because, of course, if you, you know, you're going to cut through just about anything with a fucking chainsaw. Wait, so a car wouldn't do anything to a steel-toed boot? It should be fine. Yeah. Yeah. No, I actually, like, when I wear steel-toed boots in the shop, partly to protect my toes,

but half of the reason is I usually just want a tool. Like, if I have something really heavy to put down, I'll drop it on my foot and then pull my foot out. And it's kind of a softer landing. It's kind of cool when you're wearing them. It's like putting on a little armor. You just know that like, oh, yeah. Man, if you kick something with it, you know, you can fuck that shit up. I built this big assembly table and I was putting like adjustable feet on the bottom.

And so it's a big table. It's like eight feet wide and i have to like tilt it up so you know you can drop it on your foot instead of the concrete as a soft landing they're they're useful yeah i like my steel toe boots yeah i like that guy's youtube channel though because he's a he's a man's man and like he knows how to do stuff it seems like you know he's a real outdoorsman like when he when he was cutting that tree down like i don't know how to cut trees down i've cut trees down before but in an amateur fashion you know and but and he's like oh yeah you see what i did here the way it rolled i should have done this arbor cut here and i should have done this because it looked like some some some rot had gotten in the center and so it rolled about 110 degrees away from where i was going but the trick is to stay close to the tree because you have less distance to move the closer you are to the tree than if you're farther away

and i was like oh yeah this all makes great sense like i like that about him too like he's really competent at the things that he's doing and i think that's cool if there's something i don't like he injects a lot of religion into his videos. There's a whole lot of how to be a husband, how to treat your neighbor, how to do this. And it's a little – even though I line up with a lot of the same values, he's just preaching self-righteousness. He does that in the middle of teaching you how to chop down a tree. He'll start being like, and by the way, treat your woman right. Yeah, literally. Because that's what Jesus says.

He's like, I'm plowing the driveway, and this is what I should be doing for my neighbor, and this is love thy neighbor, and he'll tie it into a commandment or a verse or something. It's like, yeah, you know. He made it all Bible-y. A little too Bible-y.

I kind of like him more. I haven't watched enough of his videos to have gotten any of that yet. Oh, yeah. He's a good man. He's a good man. He's just a little preachy. Or is he? Because maybe he's overcompensating.

Maybe there's some dark, dark shit. Yeah, there's some dark shit going on. I think he's like a traditionalist. He would say male and female roles are not the same. She know she's the support system he's the hunter gatherer i think that's what he would say yeah i doubt he's like forced his wife into that role though like most women want to fill that role whether they want to like everybody wants to support people to be able to do whatever they want to do but seems like oftentimes people fall right back into those roles because they just make more sense. And that's what we want to do. You know, it's really funny. My wife, God love her. She worked and she was doing really well.

She was working her way up the ladder at the Walmart home office. She had a team of 25 people after just two years of working there. And I think she was on her way to executive level but the problem is even Walmart home office doesn't pay that much and compared to the YouTube salary and my physical needs and and so on and so forth I eventually showed her you know if I had all this more free time with you helping out with the business then we would earn a lot more money and we did we I doubled her salary the year she gave it up. And this is her second year off now. She's officially two years, quote, retired. But realistically, she runs most of the back end of the business now and then takes care of me in the house. So she's working fucking 12 hours a day. But anyway, she loves being a homemaker. And I'm

like, do you ever miss going back to work? She's like, nope. I love keeping up her home. And she does, since I'm not able to do a lot of she does, since I'm not able to do a lot of the yard work and I'm not able to do a lot of the maintenance stuff, we'll watch a YouTube video. I'll talk about what I know needs to be done. And then she'll do it right from changing the gaskets on the fucking toilet to tightening the fucking screws to cleaning out the gutters. She does it all right. And so she really kind of blurs the line of the male and female roles of the homekeeper. And so she really kind of blurs the line of the male and female roles of the homekeeper. But then she gets shit on the internet from people who are like, I can't believe you let that man make you quit your job.

I can't believe. No, he let me quit my job. And she loves being a homekeeper. She loves being a homemaker. She doesn't necessarily like the nursing part of it, which is one of the reasons I got the surgery. But she's more than glad to fucking do it. You know, and I don't understand. Like, that's what women's liberation was.

That's what me as a 1970s born liberal raised in the 80s, this is what I was fighting for, for women to do whatever they wanted. And that meant if you want to get the job at the home office and rise to corporate ladder you can and if you want to fucking bake all weekend bake just go home and bake and take care of your husband that's okay and i'm glad i married a woman who enjoys that because i definitely enjoy having a woman that does that i also enjoy having a woman who goes to work when she was going to work that was fine by me too you know it has nothing to be with to do with her being a woman if you were gay right you would you would you would require that of your male partner as well. You'd be like, hey, Steve, I need you to change the gasses on the toilets. I hope you've cooked dinner tonight because I'm going to be real hungry after a long day

of work. And then I'm going to put that toilet to work. Yeah. Oh, shit. It's nothing to do with the sex. It's just you've got to divide labor and there's a there are different ways to divide labor and this one just makes the most sense to you right exactly and it's weird how it's like it's usually the feminist types who are most adamant about saying

that the role of homemaker isn't valuable and that oh you're a stay-at-home mom that's that's ridiculous why don't you get out there and toil away at a job you know like it's no like being a mom being a stay-at-home mom is an incredibly important thing it's the hardest i mean it's not the like thanks bilber like it's not the hardest job in the world but it is a super important thing to be raising children and bringing up the next generation and so like when you hear people who are apparently all about women's you know liberation and they're like oh but you know you have to be in the workforce you have to do this and that it's like oh so what you really meant by liberation is women doing what you want them to do okay exactly that kind of elucidates this you just want control over them you resent

some of these traditionally feminine roles because they're not maybe for you but you can't even see the forest for the trees and see that you know a lot of women really prefer this setup or did they resent those roles for the same reason that those conservative guys seem to hate gays do these do these women who are in these high high power positions secretly want to go man i wish i could just you know i i i don't feel full feel fulfilled here i think what would fulfill me is if i were at home baking cookies cleaning up around the house and raising three beautiful children and then my husband i think that would make me feel good but i can't let anyone know that so let me get online and fucking hate a pastor who's like oh i i hate gay people i hate him i hate him i hate him but really he just wants to be gay have you ever been in church and and heard like uh and had like

a pastor a preacher whatever the go go hard against the gays and like call them fags or anything no i've never i've never heard that in church yeah i've seen it like on tv and like like not like dramas like i've seen like actual real world preachers like talk about fags and talk about like like go super hard in the paint against the gays and talking and fags will be burning in hell while we're up singing hallelujah in africa they are uh very very religious very christian and they're very anti-homosexual throughout a large portion of africa and so if you ever want to just Google something hilarious, look up the Eat the Poo Poo. It's one of my favorite clips.

It's like, yeah, it's so good. It's just like, but then what the homosexuals do is they eat the poo poo. And like, there's so many good remixes. But I'll tell you, I lost my Christian faith at a very young age. And I'm never really going to be. I think I have very similar morals to your average Christian, because I think that was just ingrained with the way I was raised. Not necessarily the whole Lord in vain thing or that kind of thing. And I'm pretty free form when it comes to love, you know, like caring, not caring what other people do with their bodies or homosexuality or whatever.

I do whatever you want to do. I don't give a fuck. But I was raised in the church and every preacher I ever had was a big fan of love the sinner, hate the sin. And so they would like, you know, they're already, you know, homosexuality is an abomination, but that's not for us to decide. That's for God to decide. Right. And so you should love thy neighbor, regardless of whether or not they're homosexual, regardless of whatever. And they even like Southern Baptist. And so when I see that shit, all I can think is just the most hypocritical shit in the world.

If you're a Christian person and you disown your son or daughter for being gay, you deserve a very special place in hell because you have not understood even a basic tenet of what Christ is talking about. Like that's just like Christianity 101 is love the neighbor or love my neighbor love the sinner hate the sin you don't have to like agree with his life but he's your fucking son for how many times in the new testament does jesus wash the feet of prostitutes and go out of his way to say you know you without sin cast the first stone or oh this person is a whore you know but we're gonna bring you in and feed you and be kind. That was so much of his message.

Jesus. I'm not a religious guy. What did those angels do to those gay guys that were outside of Lot's house? The gay guys? There weren't any gay guys at Lot's house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember, Lot offered them his virgin daughters, but the men outside were much more interested in the good-looking angel folk. Those were gay guys. It was a

mob of gay rapists. I don't know about the canon of this. What? I think that it was that Lot offered the girls to be raped so that they wouldn't come in and try to kill the angels. I don't think they were trying to have relations

with the angels. But maybe they say that the spirit reveals himself and that you can see things into the word that you otherwise hadn't been able to. And so maybe Christ has revealed himself to you, Kyle, and you have now an obligation to spread the true word. I'm telling you, I'll Google it right now. I think I've got a Bible story you're not aware of.

I'm a thousand percent... Let's see. I think Taylor told this Bible story, didn't he, on the show? Yeah. We've talked about lot before. Yeah. And then, and then Kyle brought up the,

the pillar of salt where Miriam or whatever his wife's name is, they're leaving the city. He turns back, she turns to salt and then he has to just kind of be like, all right, well, I guess I'm leaving my pillar of salt wife here. You get four head kids.

Yeah. I knew it. Yeah. They wanted to write those guys, right? I guess I'm leaving my pillar of salt wife here. You can forge ahead, kids. Yeah, I knew it. Yeah, they wanted to rape those guys. They did want to rape the angels? Yeah, there you go. Man, holy shit, the Bible's weird. It's an interesting book, and yeah, it is weird.

How are we to take the fact that Lot offered his daughters for rape? Oh, I love these rationalities. In Genesis, two angels visited Sodom and Gomorrah to check what's what. The residents of the town wanted to rape the angels. Kyle, well done. Who had visited the most virtuous man in town, Lot. Lot, to protect the angels, offered his two daughters to rape. But before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both young and old, all the people, the last man surrounded the house. And they called the lot,

where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may know them. Lot went out to the men at the entrance, shut the door after him and said, I beg you, my brothers, do not act so wickedly. Behold, I have two daughters who have not yet known any man. Let me bring them out to you and do to them as you please. Only do nothing to these men, for they have come under the shelter of my roof.esis 19 4 through 8 okay kyle you are 100 on the money hey and don't feel too sorry for those daughters because right after all of this you know like like maybe three days later they got a lot all drunk and fucked him because they thought they were the last people in the world and they needed to make some new babies true and at the last second uh uh they didn't end up getting raped so he didn't give them out there at the last second, they didn't end up getting raped.

So he didn't give them out there. At the last second, after being traumatized and probably afraid of their piece of shit dad for the rest of their life, they didn't have to actually fuck. I hope my mom watches this part of the show. Because we're literally – not we, but we're reading the Bible. Because often she's like, I have issues with Taylor's Bible interpretations. He's leaving this out. I think that the guy with the hairy arm was much more goat-like than you gave him credit for, and my mom didn't like that part.

Oh, Jacob and Esau. Yeah, yeah. If you don't know, I guess the guy, his brother was hairy, so he skinned a goat, put it on his arm, and tricked his feeble dad into thinking he was his brother or something like that. My mom was like, no, no, no. The guy was very goat- mom was like no no the guy was very goat like it was a reasonable ploy how many people were on the planet at the time there weren't a lot of masterful rusemen out there teaching tricks to people it was just

you know there were you know the population density at the time was like.00000000001 people per square mile. And they were all in one area. Yeah, it just seems like God was a bit of an asshole in this situation with the whole pillars of salt and the raping. He's an asshole in so many situations.

New Testament God is way chiller than Old Testament God. And he was just like, eh. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that was the thing as a kid that confused me so much, and I'm sure Boogie knows the same, and Kyle, all of us, because we all went to church growing up,

where, like, one Sunday you'd be learning about the Old Testament God, like in Leviticus, where it's all fire and brimstone and tribal warfare, and you need to go there and slay any who oppose you. And then the Israelites made their way past Canaan and slaughtered 600 Ammonites, the women whom they kept, or like whatever the fuck they'd say. And in the New Testament like suddenly God tries to send down Jesus and still do the whole we're all the same but I'm accountable for for what I did before thing you know like he he was he was the artist formerly known as Yahweh when he came as Jesus you know he changed it up and so then you get Jesus and he's like talking about all this good stuff like

oh take care of people feed him do all that I don't know it was just such a juxtaposition as a kid to be like how are these the same people they're not they're not the same people it's it's because it's all like if you believe it I think if I really had to think about it and I had to decide if I had to make a decision if it was like all right tomorrow you're gonna be judged maybe by by God you have to come up with what's really going on. I'd be like, well, then Jesus was just a trickster. A nice one, but just a trickster. An ancient magician,

if you will. I mean, think about some of the stuff he was doing. Turn water into wine? That sounds like some shit you see on YouTube, right? If there was a God who dealt with the Israelites and Abraham and all that, if there was an Abrahamic God, then Jesus was not that guy's son. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, except in the case of God Almighty, please.

No, no. Jesus would have been a warlord. He'd have had a helmet and a fiery sword if he was the son of God. He'd have been riding around, cutting people in half, cleaving them in two. cutting people in half, cleaving them in two. Like, the Son of God would not have been this peace-loving, forgiving, washing the feet of prostitutes kind of fellow. It's much more likely that Mary was a whore,

and she cheated on her husband, and then made up a crazy story, and then the husband bought it to save face, and then they raised this kid up telling him that he was the son of God because that was the story in their household. Meanwhile, notice they had to move to another town to have this kid. Oh, yeah, because the king was going to come kill him. Please. No.

The king was after the son of Mary? I don't think so. They were. Yeah. King Herod. I think his name was King Herod. It is. son of Mary? I don't think so. They were, yeah. King Herod, I think his name was King Herod. He wanted to kill all of the young boys, which seems to be a trend.

That happened in Egypt, too. The 10th plague of Moses, where God just decided, or someone in the Bible decides, you know, sometimes it is God in the case of Egypt, where you gotta kill all the firstborns. And that's just kind of a peek into the level of barbarism that you expect in a Bronze Age tribal god. That's a Christian

holiday. It's Passover. They celebrate that shit every year. The Jewish holiday. Well, the Christians celebrate it too though. Celebrate Passover? Yeah. We did. You're a little Jewish.

They would mention it to us in church but they were never like right, now go home and don't turn your lights on. I hope I am a little Jewish because I think sometimes I come off as anti-Semitic, but there's just a lot to mock there. Yes, only sometimes. Only on Thursday nights. I laugh. Every Thursday night. As far as we know. A little area.

every Thursday night. As far as we know. That's why I'm really hoping this DNA test comes back and I'm like 15% Jewish, 15% Native American. You just want every version of Hood Pass that exists. Abso-fucking-lutely.

We gotta get some Indian in there. Asian Indian, whatever you call them. Oh, oh. Nah, fuck them. You can make a lot of fun of them. They are not part of our demographic. Fuck those shit street, those street shitting savages. A billion of them, they have a nuclear program, a space program, but they're shitting in the streets in mass? Please.

They did something like in Civ where you skip something you were supposed to research and you go straight to the next thing at the same time. Do we have time to get to toilets? No, no, no. We must get up and do space race. Just skip the toilet part on the technology tree and just keep going ahead. It's bullshit. We'll go back for it eventually. We've got to get to the moon.

Culture victory is off the table, don't you see? I missed you. The Civ has impacted my opinion on politics and how a king should behave more than it should. Aspects of civilization seem well

researched and actually kind of on target. Hey man, that's the liberal agenda, man. That's part of Civ 5. I've been indoctrinated. Yeah, you've been indoctrinated. That's why you've turned into such a pussy. That's just one of the reasons why I've turned into such a pussy. Did you see that

senator get elected? Was it named Moore from Alabama? No? No? Well, okay, so the story is That I guess Steve Bannon Backed this guy and Donald Trump backed the other guy and it turned out

Steve Bannon's guy won He was already well known Because In Alabama there had been a couple cases where They wanted him to remove the Ten Commandments and he refused Right so they Promoted and now he's in a federal Court and like the federal court Comes down on him and says you can't have the Ten Commandments and he refused. So they promoted and now he's in a federal court and the federal court comes down on him and says,

you can't have the Ten Commandments on the wall. And he's like, fuck you. But you see him on the campaign trail and he's like a caricature of an Alabaman. He's like, pre-K? Those elementary schools are just part of the liberal agenda where they're trying to indoctrinate your children. Hillary Clinton is for early education

and therefore it's bad. He pulls out his guns. Like he's at the lectern or the podium, I don't know the difference really, like doing his speeches. He's not shooting, but he's got the guns out. He took guns out while giving his speech? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it looks lame too. It's like a snub nose 38 that you might carry but i don't know on camera you just expect it to be a 1911 or like a 357 like something with a five inch barrel this is like something you'd find in a purse and he's like i got my gun right here you know and he's just like the rootin tootin that's how you can tell he actually carries that gun by the way yeah he didn't pull out a giant Ruger Redhawk Or something He took out a reasonable gun

He just keeps going He hates gay people Elementary school is a liberal indoctrination It's every whack job thing And it's like He's honest I think he's a senator He's possibly a congressman

But I think he's a senator He said the state should use its power he's honest. I think he's a senator. He's possibly a congressman, but I think he's a senator. He said the state should use its power to punish homosexual behavior. I'm for small government. Punishing gay people for what they want to do.

That's my business. I like what my business like no have it both ways that's like i like uh what boogie said earlier about the christian thing of like when christians disown or something like a gay family member or friend or whatever it's like yeah you really weren't even paying attention you're just using your religion as to be cruel like like if if jesus met a gay person he probably would have done like what i heard my pastor say to do which i'm pretty sure is what what boogie alluded to which is like you know if you guys out there have gay tendencies or a temptation just know that that's your cross to bear you know you don't act on that don't do anything with it uh and you know that's everybody

has their thing they have to deal with and like that's kind of the way it was phrased by my pastors. My little boys, all those tight-ass little boys. You have to resist the temptation. It doesn't matter how sexy they look in their granimals outfits, matching tops and bottoms. You ever watch a little boy eat a go-gurt? I love buying happy beans. You see him wiggling their asses at Oshkosh Pagosh. That's just your cross to wear.

To bear it. You touched on something with the senator. Here's the thing. I am a registered Republican who's never voted Republican, by the way. But growing up, I was taught that the Republican Party pretty much matched what Reagan was doing for the most part, right? They're all about small government. They're all about reduction in costs for the taxpayer. They're all about, you know, tax relief. Unfortunately, the one thing Reagan had wrong was trickle down, which just clearly didn't work. But prior to that, I mean, he still had the best interest, I think, at heart. He was not trying to make corporations mega rich in the process.

I think he generally did think it would help the American people. The Republican Party is so different than the Republican Party that I registered in. It's un-fucking-recognizable. And to me, a lot of the Republicans, specifically the ones in power right now, just boggle my fucking mind. Let's build a giant expensive wall. It might save us money in the long run, but at least we'll get back at the brown people. Let's not build a giant expensive wall. Let's give that money to the fucking people in the form of tax rebates, you assholes.

That's what the Republican Party is supposed to do. It's mind-boggling. It's mind-boggling to me how vastly different the Republican Party is supposed to do. It's mind-boggling. It's mind-boggling to me how vastly different the Republican Party is, and I genuinely feel like the current Republicans aren't paying any fucking attention. They need a pit. They need a pit that

way the Mexicans fall into the pit and they're captured, and anyone you find down in there, slave labor. So a moat. That just kills jobs, Kyle. Oh, let's be honest, Kyle. Most of the Mexicans in California are working

for slave wages anyway, and do you really want to pick? Do you really want to eat bruised fruit? Like, that's the entire jobs we give them. They clean rich people's fucking shitty toilets. They pick fucking fruit. You don't want to pick fruit for seven cents an hour. You don't. But they will. I doubt it.

I don't like the argument of, oh, you want your fruit to be cheap. And like, yo, nobody else is going to do that. It's like, well, if they had to pay people more to do it, they'd have to do it. The Chiquita Banana Lady or whatever isn't going to just shut down. Or I guess the pistachio folks or whatever. And it's also like almost

a backwards justification for employing illegal immigrants with no leverage as borderline slaves, you know? You know what I think would actually happen? I think a lot of those jobs would get automated. You know, like it's expensive to pick tomatoes right now, but they replace them with machines. I think that's how it would go. They will be as soon as humanly possible,

and they're working on that right now. But unfortunately, me and my roommate were just talking about this earlier today, actually. We're talking about the fact that automation is a big concern and that's definitely a thing that's going to happen. And we're talking about basic income and how this country will never have it. You will never see that happen to this country. Every other country in the world, as they automate, you'll see that, but you'll never see it here. Our people will vote against their own self-interest in order to starve themselves in the street because they're rather pull themselves up by the bootstraps even when it's impossible but um the only reason we haven't

automated fruit picking is just just too complicated but once you have the robots that can pick fruit we'll fucking do it this is the problem is they all bruise the fruit right now you know i don't know that maybe you said it's too complicated. I suspect the motivation would rise if suddenly fruit pickers earn $20 an hour. It wouldn't be too complicated anymore. It's just that it's a $500,000 solution to a $200,000 problem. And to be honest, like for the Trump supporters out there, I did learn something under the Trump administration that the largest problem with immigration is not necessarily who's picking the fruits or cleaning the fucking toilets and all those stereotypes. It's the people that we bring into this country using like temporary visas for temporary work visas, especially in the tech industry and the tech fields and how so many of those jobs

that should be filled by Americans with college degrees are not filled by Americans because these guys can work for a fraction of the cost because their visa allows them to get paid differently than an American would get paid and so on and so forth. And then those people stay well past the expiration of their visa. And like some of that, obviously, those are loopholes that definitely need to be fixed, and I am on board there. So some of that stuff does make sense to me, but some of it's just crazy talk. I don't think the wall is going to happen. Yeah, I don't think it's going to happen.

They've already budgeted the damn thing, and it's going to cost us a goddamn fortune um and it looks like they budgeted yeah and they and they they showed like the current like i i've been told it's part they found the funding i read that as a headline on reddit but who really knows and they're showing the aspects of the wall and it's not actually one wall it's two walls is and so uh the guy who designed it built a wall with another wall and then a monitored zone down the middle including like tracks for the rangers to go up and down and so as soon as you're across one wall it's all automated it will be you'll be fucking alerting the system and then a ranger can get there fucking like that and it's like a brilliant system and it

would be really right it would be really good if it was necessary but it's really fucking unnecessary also we have boats our thing so that's weird there's still plenty of ways into the country but okay uh you know don't most people come across the border uh by land though i i don't i don't know the statistics according to adam ruins everything that's not the case the majority of immigrants that we have problems with like the ones who come over for the the temporary visas and then stay past their welcome uh they all come by plane you know and they're there's some of the most damaging ones you know the ones that pay past their visas stuff um and then there's plenty that come by boat and yeah once land is no longer a longer a possibility, the ocean will be the way they get here. But we do pay a lot to defend

our ports and to keep them policed. And I'm sure we can spend even more money there. But the problem that I have with that is that's the opposite of the Republican mentality. They're supposed to be the relief tax, spend less people, not the tax and spend people. But the Republican Party has become a party of spend things on things, spend money on things we like, tax them for things we like, like tax relief for corporations, building unnecessary walls and blowing up brown people across the seas. Some of those brown people need blowing up. Some of them do. I haven't. I don't know if that's specifically a Republican thing.

Seems like all the politicians like blowing up people across the seas. Yeah, well, that's fair. I will tell you, like one of my friends, I won't dox him here, but he just got back from doing voluntary tours in Afghanistan right up to the point that they sectioned, sectioned eight of them where it was messing with his brain. And he told me how many confirmed kills he had. And the number seemed absurd to me at the time. Uh, and I, if I remember correctly, it's over three digits, um, which is a lot. And he was a sniper.

And so I talked about it and I'm like, how do you feel about killing, killing people? He goes, I only kill bad people. And I'm like, how do you know that? And he goes, because they show me that they're bad people. And then I watched them for a while and I watched them do bad things. And I've killed a lot of bad people. Is anybody you killed not bad? You ever think that maybe you were lied to or something like that? He goes, nope, nope. Pretty much most of the people over there are doing some pretty bad shit. We're doing some bad shit over there. And he talked to me about, like, how we run drugs in Afghanistan. I didn't know about any of this, but I like like in order to make ends meet, we had to adapt to Afghanistan. And in order to pick a side, we had to pick a side and we picked the side of the drug cartel.

And we we were just basically slaves to the drug cartel over there and we helped them do that shit. But that's you know, they help us get the terrorists so it's kind of a good trade off it's just mind boggling the stories he fucking has to tell but no he told me about fucking pedophiles he sniped and rapists and womanizing pieces of shit

and he's just like even if they didn't do you're talking about you might be talking about some of the well we're talking you know we be talking about some of the... Well, we're talking, you know... This is a red dot. He's back stateside, eh? We're more talking beating your wife for not wearing her burka all the time kind of thing. Ah, well, hey.

A little different kind of womanizing, you know. And holy shit, yeah, some of the people he fucking murdered. It's like even to the army, didn't want them killed. They needed dying. Some of the kicks of snow. I've been watching Curb Your Enthusiasm a lot lately. I watched it all, if I'm being honest. I watched nine seasons of it, eight seasons, and then whatever.

I'm on the ninth. Tore right the fuck through it. It's, you know, 30-minute episodes, 10 a season. So it's a good chunk, but it's not crazy like watching seven seasons of Walking Dead or something with those long, long episodes. The Shield. But there's an episode where he needs to pee really bad. And he's knocking from house to house. And everybody keeps turning him down to let him into their house and pee.

White people, black people, everybody. And then he knocks on a door and there's a lady in a burqa. There's a Muslim woman. And he doesn't even ask. He goes to walk away. He's like, what do you need? He's like, I really need to use the restroom.

She's like, well, come on in. And she lets this Jewish guy come in her house, lets him pee. He comes out. She's like, are you refreshed? Oh, so much better. So much. And he befriends her

they become really good friends and everything and she talks about how it's hard to find a man here because you know she wears the burka and it's turning people off and i think this was filmed 2003 2004 not too long after 9-11 so that there's that stigma as well and so he's like i think i got the perfect guy for you so he sets her up with his blind friend. The blind friend's issue is that he'd had a girlfriend who he thought was a model. And Larry tells him like, yeah, she's pretty rough looking, just so you know. And he can't have that. So he tells the blind guy, this one's perfect for you.

You can't see her. I can't see her. Nobody can see her. This way you can tell people she looks however you want her to look and so uh they're gonna go out on their first date and larry's gonna chaperone of course because that's traditional and so larry and uh this blind man are on her doorstep it's raining a bit outside so larry has his umbrella and and she's like oh yeah i don't mind walking in the rain he's like oh well let me we open the umbrella and he opens it having a trouble with the umbrella and he pops it open tears the burka off and she's fucking hideous

and and larry goes and the woman goes and she runs inside the blind guys like rough looking they walk away and that's the end of it that That show is just full. He's like George Costanza if he got old and stayed as much of a petty, awful, awkward son of a bitch as he always was. I really like Curb. You've got to watch a bit of it to get into the swing of it.

It's so uncomfortable though. The uncomfortable stuff in Seinfeld made me laugh because it'd be like they're all in on the joke, like Elaine and kramer and all that so many of the awkward moments in uh curb your enthusiasm i haven't watched nearly i've watched like maybe two seasons but so many of the awkward moments are just larry david making an ass of himself like not even in a funny way just in like a oh my god like i'm embarrassed for you and i know this is a tv show like that level way and like the predictability of always saying the wrong thing at the wrong time like without

fail like as like it's so ridiculous that it pulls you out of the moment like all right nobody would ever do something like that show is the my balls touching another man balls of tv show i just can't i can't fucking set through it. I just can't. Now we have the title for PKA 356. There's a couple episodes that I think you would like, Taylor. There's a part where Larry, in an effort to get his wife back, who's left him, agrees to NBC's request to do a Seinfeld reunion show. And so they get the entire group of Seinfeld back together and they film a reunion

show. And you get to see much of that show. And it's the full cast of Seinfeld and there's storylines that are very funny. George had become... George invents an iPhone app called iToilet that helps you find the nearest toilet wherever you

are in the world. And he makes millions from it. But he invests his money with Bernie Madoff. And he loses it all. But his ex-wife got her half, and she had pulled hers out of Madoff. And so she has it. And George is like, that's my money! That's my money you've got! And Jerry has donated his

sperm to Elaine, and so Elaine has Jerry's child. But the child doesn't know it, so there's that little drama going on. And Kramer is doing sort of a bit that Larry had done before to get through, to be in the carpool lane. He's hiring a prostitute,

so he's got this big-tittied black woman in the car with him so he can drive in the car pool lane. It's very funny. It made me think, like, Jesus, why didn't they just do this? Like, I would have loved to have seen that reunion show that they sort of slapped together for Curb. Yeah, I'd watch Seinfeld

again. I'd love if they brought that back instead of fucking Full House. No shit. Yeah, absolutely. I think we're all out of ads. Correct me if I'm wrong, but we did SmartMath off the start, we did Stitch Fix earlier, we did Walking Dead, and we did Total War.

Oh, NatureBox. Okay. How could you forget about NatureDogs? They're awesome. I'll never forget about that. Could you link me to it, Chiz? Somehow I didn't click that one off the start. Link me to the read, sorry. I'm scrolling up now, but...

I've got to scroll through so much disgusting... I'm scrolling up and it's like a vagina. With a lock in it. That's always a nice thing, after PKA is scrolling up thinking about what we talked about and just seeing the debauchery and all the unnecessary nastiness that we get into it's like oh i guess we didn't we didn't need to touch on that oh it's feel bad it's like when you're jerking with shit i said the night before

and it's like did i oh my god like i'm a different person during pka that was terrible it's like when you're jerking off and you got two or three tabs open and then you finish and then you have to close those tabs out in shame. Like, oh God. Clear my internet history real quick. Oh. Well, we all want to eat better, but when it comes to snacks, sometimes it feels like the whole world is delicious

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I usually don't like jerky. It was really high quality. It was sort of moist. It wasn't all dried up and tough and didn't hurt my teeth or anything. Very good stuff. All their stuff's high quality. There's been a thing or two that wasn't my favorite, but it was still a really high quality snack. And like I said, if you don't like it, return it.

They'll replace it for free. Yep, nothing to lose. Three snacks for free. Yum. Free is a good thing. You know, it's funny. A lot of people think, you know, and this is something we talk about a lot. A lot of people think it doesn't matter what you eat as long as you're calorie restricting.

But that would make sense if we lived in a world where medicine doesn't do anything. But obviously, if you eat a particular medicine, it changes your body a little bit, right? So if you eat the wrong foods, obviously, if you eat something you're allergic to, for example, it'll affect your body. Well, one of the most impactful things that we eat every day is sugar. We eat far too much fucking sugar. They add way too much sugar to processed foods. Natural foods, a lot of the times, especially when you're getting them in places like, I would imagine, NatureBox, you're able to get it with a hell of a lot less sugar and a hell of a lot less corn syrup instead of natural sugar.

It's a huge fucking difference. That was one of the biggest problems i had even when i would calorie restrict i would have a lot of trouble losing weight a lot of this because i would still eat my favorite foods since i was addicted to sugar and since i'm eating a shitload of sugar my insulin's going through the roof because i'm diabetic and my insulin's keeping me from burning fat so you ever taste your pee uh no but I have actually pissed in the floor a little bit while urinating and then went to wipe it up later and it was sticky. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Because my urine was fucking sweet. Was that pee? It was. It was, yeah. It really was. I've pissed so much sugar. Yeah, my diabetes was real out of control for a while. I was clocking 3 to 350 on my blood sugar.

Now, even after eating, if I prick my finger, I'm getting like 80 to 100 right now. There's a lot of people who just say, calories in, calories out. It's as simple as that. You can't mess with the law of thermodynamics and such. I've always maintained that

it's not that simple a system. Right down to starvation levels, that's pretty true, right? Like if you're starving to death, your body is going to do what it needs to do. But it will also choose muscle over fat a lot of the times. That's one of the biggest problems you have with this gastric bypass surgery. I went in and they did like a body fat percentage check on me. And they said – and this seemed off to me.

I don't believe it. But they said I was 48% solid mass and I'm like that So I'm 52% fat which is alarming, but I thought it was gonna be more And they're like do you have any idea you just walked an eighth of a mile Steve? Do you have any idea how much muscle it takes to carry? 540 pounds an eighth of a mile, you're tremendously fit under there. And I'm like, well, I don't think so. And she, she insisted, insisted, insisted. Um, well, anyway, one of the biggest problems is your body likes to burn muscle long before it burns fat. And so when a lot of people get this, uh, surgery done, they lose a shitload of bone density, um, which is sucks because I already have arthritis and I can never take NSAIDs again in my life. Uh, then you lose a shitload of muscle

mass. Um, so they want me eating almost exclusively protein, as much protein as I can shove in me from morning to night. And I'm like, uh, so what kind of protein, like beans and stuff? She goes, now's not the time to be a vegetarian. You to eat chicken whole chicken or you know roasted chicken from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed eat an entire fucking chicken every day if you can as much as you can shove in you and i'm like i should be i'm like correct i'm like i should avoid the dark meat then and she's like no start with the dark meat um she's like the the fat is going to be a little tough on your digestive system but it's the easiest to digest and then later uh move on to the breast meat when when your stomach is a little more capable of digesting or whatever uh and they're like the

only thing i can't really eat at this point is is beef um i can't really eat a cut of steak but my dog's birthday was recently and every year since we've got this dog we get him a steak so i went to a restaurant to get a steak and uh saw it off just two bites and was able to keep it down so i think i'd be able to do steak finally again if it's soft enough but joe just had an expert on who seemed to think that a big part of it was how like long you eat during the day like you eat and then your body like processes and digests that for the next 10 hours. And she's like, so if you can eat all of your food in that day in 10 hours, then you're in a pretty good spot.

But if you reset that cycle right before bed, then you're digesting all night and your body's never burning its fat. And I don't know if she's right or not, but I still maintain that there's a lot going on that's not just calories in, calories out. It's also impossible to tell with these artificial restrictions how much of the difference there is the time frame

and how much is just you're no longer allowing yourself to eat most of the day. When people go, oh, I've lost so much weight. I'm eating just as much as I used to, but I cut out carbs. It's like, well, yeah, because you're filling it with leafy greens that are less calorie dense. And so it's like it's playing off that same thing. I'm trying the like only eat 10 hours in a day thing. And one of the things it does is it cut like even if it's a healthier snack,

like a bowl of almonds or something at 10 p.m., well, now that's gone. Now you just burn whatever was in your body instead of almonds. But then you got like wings. Wings' big thing was like he liked to eat one enormous meal. And it was like... Do you buy that? I don't. I don't buy that for

a millisecond. That's what he wanted to do here. I kept preparing... Alright, so my research has always led me to believe that multiple small meals that are, you know, low carb and lots of fiber would really speed up your, and high protein would speed up your metabolism to some extent, or at least get your body in some sort of a mode where it's not holding on to calories. If you're eating at least five, but I

told him, you know, seven, let's, as soon as you wake up, let's eat a little something. Then every two and a half, three hours later, let's eat something throughout the day and keep your energy levels up. Maybe this will speed things up, get your body to start doing stuff, getting rid of calories and maybe not processing things as much. I don't know the science behind it. I'm not a dietician, but it just seemed to make sense to me. That's what I had done in the past to lose weight. I't there but i suspect if you said wings we got to get you down to one meal a day he would have resisted that he was just doing whatever you didn't want i think perhaps but that's what he did but but what he wanted to do was just eat that one big meal he

was like he was like no no let's just more more let's let's one big meal like like i remember like he'd finish a plate off to the extent where it it wasn't clear that the plate needed to be washed anymore like a like a plate with sauce on it like he'd take his finger and like get all the sauce and and eat it and he'd hand the plate back to me like when i was cleaning their plate he cleans the plate when i was uh when i was broke um living in fable you guys know the story. I was homeless here for a while too, right? And so when I got my first month's rent and first and last month's rent and deposit together, got my first apartment, I would take advantage of buffets in

the neighborhood because there were buffets like CC's Pizza Buffet in the day used to be $4. Oh, those are so bad. Right. And it was disgusting food, but I could eat as much as I wanted. And so me and my – it would be a social experience. So me and a friend would take four bucks and get a cup of water, and we would go to CeCe's, and that would be the one time that day I would eat at all, period. But we would be there for three hours. Jesus. It even got to the point where we would go in at late lunchtime, like 2 o'clock, and then stay there and play Magic until 6 or seven, and then start eating again. And like the guy at my local CC's buffet. I bet they love you.

No, it's so funny. So the guy at the local CC's buffet, the manager, walks up to us one day, and he's like, what game are you guys playing? And I'm like, I'm playing Magic. And he asked questions. And he goes, hey, I don't want to chase you guys off because you're real good customers. But can I ask you what your all's deal is? Like, why do you guys stay here for so long? And I'm like, well, I used to be homeless and I'm broke. And $4 is a lot of money to me still. So I want to make sure I get my money's worth. So, you know, we'll eat a couple of pizzas for lunch and then we'll eat another couple of pizzas for dinner. And then I'll eat a salad in the between that and hit the dessert bar and the whole nine yards. And he's like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm

sorry if we're costing you money. And he goes, son, do you know what my food cost is for this place? And I said, no. And he goes, the pizza you special order, the barbecue with black olives, that cost me about 16 cents. You can't possibly cost me money. Challenge accepted. Right? And then you proved him wrong. And now there's no CCs on that corner.

No, it's still there. I wish. I wish I could eat that much ever. But he got to where he knew was my name, and every once in a while he would be like, hey, Carla, don't charge these guys. Just let them eat. And he would, like, give us free drinks and stuff, and all the time he'd upgrade our drinks. And he's just a great guy, but he knew the situation because, you know, we were broke. But that's how I got trained to eat one giant meal every day and that's how i got to be so fucking big it wasn't that guy fucked you

over that one meal though or was it well i mean in that case you're there all day right because it was a four hour you know feast but that's what i would like literally i most of the time i would go to lunch with my friends and lunch would be the only meal I would eat. And I would go to a buffet, a Chinese buffet, and I would clear the fucking thing out, three or four plates full. And then that would be it. I wouldn't even think about food until the next morning. And then I'd think, oh, it's time to schedule lunch with somebody. Have you ever been to a buffet in Vegas? And then just hanging out on the toilet until you have to poop again and then saying you only pooped once.

Oh, right. That's true, yeah. That's a good analogy but i did and uh at the time i was on keto and it was like a fucking terrible experience because even though like it was keto everything had sugar in it and shit uh so i just ate like chicken i fried fried chicken and pulled off the chick fry those are some of the greatest experiences for me and i've ever had eating was going to the really it's I don't remember exactly but the way I remember it it's at least $50 to get into the buffet it might be 80 like it's expensive but you go in there and it's jumbo shrimp and lobster and filet mignon it's like

really expensive foods that you would sit down and spend 40 or 50 or 60 dollars if you just got one serving of any one of these things but it's all you can eat it's the buffet there's lots of them in vegas i don't remember the specific one different different casino hotels have varying ones but but like we went to the good one that everybody was talking about and it was it was incredible like just the desserts alone it was like shit these i've never left a buffet happy like i always leave the buffet either feeling like two hours later i'm hungry again and i'm like what what why did you go to a buffet you retard or you leave and just feel like what have you done like why why did you do that did you know helping

of french fries that weren't even that good but you kept going well it's better than the other stuff in the tray and you just the best experience of my life, eating experience of my life, other than like one time I went to this Italian place and the food was fucking phenomenal. It was like a $200 bill, but it was great. But the best buffet experience I ever had, there's a place called Barrio Brazil here in Fayetteville. It's long since gone. And it was like $60 per head, per person, another $ another 15 or 20 if you wanted the salad bar. And it came with unlimited sides and unlimited meats.

And basically you had a little green red card. And when you wanted more meat, you turned it to the green side. And when you wanted less meat, you would turn it to the red so you could get a break. And they're like people walking around with pheasants on fucking swords. And they would like carve right or pull a pheasant off on your fucking plate. And I literally like as we walked in, I'm like like is there a time limit on how long we're allowed to be here and he's like well sir it's about three hours to close and most people do linger and i'm like all righty so you guys are fucked and uh and he goes i know no sure i assure you sir we have a

lot of big appetites come through the door and of course it's out of business because how could it not be right but we fucking ruin that place my god yeah i like those places the brazilian steakhouses there's a couple of big chains the one that what is the name of it the one that we it's a difficult to pronounce name i i can't think of it off the top of my head but it's there's there's two big chains that i can think of and it's not the one that boogie just named there but they're excellent they're very good and they bring premium meats on the skewer to your table and you know, oh yeah,

give me some of those fillet tips, give me some of that pheasant, give me some, I think they have goat, you know, they have a little bit of everything. I've been there twice and both times I ate embarrassingly. I don't belong there. But it's very good. The downside for me now, and I'm obviously going to have to lose some weight with the surgery and everything.

But the downside is my stomach should never get big enough to where I could ever enjoy something like that again. But the good news is I know from a guy who's in my fucking support group, he became a super eater. And so basically, since I was telling you, you can flush that stomach every 30 minutes, right? He can only eat about six ounces of food at a time. Now, he's about five, six years out. And he eats six, seven ounces of food at a time. But then 25 minutes later, he's ready to go again.

And 25 minutes later, he's ready to go again. And so if he takes his time in a buffet and turns it into a social experience or brings like an iPad or some fucking cards or something, he is able to just basically get his money's worth how's his weight is he okay yeah he's he's back up to 450 yeah he's just he was he was like 500 when he got the surgery and now he's like up to 450 and he's like that he then even like this guy is so determined to kill himself um he he like fucking uh well i even give you a better example someone was trying to kill himself in this same support group this guy turns out to be from the area but that you can never smoke again um because smoking will give you an ulcer and give anybody an ulcer but with

this tiny tiny stomach you're super susceptible to that and so he's like uh two years out from surgery and he started smoking again and now he has an ulcer and he's continuing to smoke after they went in and saw the ulcer and they're like if it perforates you will die do you understand that and he still won't fucking stop smoking oh man he's got to get some uh get a dip or chewing tobacco or i mean anything right any anything is a healthier option to smoking cigarettes just eat tobacco leaves and the dude the dude has a fucking nine-year-old daughter Anything is a healthier option to smoking cigarettes when you're in that situation. And the dude has a fucking nine-year-old daughter, man. I was just shocked.

But I hope he's not listening. And if I am, I'm sorry. I'm obviously not going to give your name or anything like that. But I worry about him so much because what can I do to help? We've talked at this point, and I'm just like, now it's my responsibility. I feel so fucking responsible, and I want to help. And I just don't know what to tell the guy because, you know, that was the worry. Like, that's the thing.

If I went into the surgery without the mental fortitude that I went into it with the attitude, without the years of of trying and the desperation to live and the support structure and now the money and the, you know, the fucking house that I live in, the dog and the job and everything right in my life, I would still be just as nihilistic and just as fucking suicidal. And I would do what those two people have done. Right. Um, but I'm eager to live. So this is just a tool and I'm eager to use this tool. I'm excited to use this tool to lose the weight. I'm excited that I can't eat. I'm so happy about it all the time. I don't, I don't feel bad at all. When I see a giant plate of food, I don't think, Oh, I wish I could eat that whole plate of eat. I'm so happy about it all the time. I don't feel bad at all. When I see a giant plate of food, I don't think, oh, I wish I could eat that whole plate of food. I think, I'm going to be full in two bites.

That's the best feeling in the world. Now I've got an hour's worth more free time. I'm going to go jerk off and take a shit. How'd you get a roommate? Most married people don't have roommates. Yeah, so my story with a roommate, we met 22 years ago over a game of magic

and uh we just like immediately hooked up like immediately became friends i hooked up i guess that's the wrong terminology but immediately became friends over that game of magic and uh when i was homeless uh he gave me a place to stay he was the first person that gave me a permanent place to stay i ended up sleeping in his dorm room. Um, and then I would also like break into buildings up at the university and I would sleep on couches, but primarily I slept in his dorm room floor and even like eventually we got his bed set up. So I was able to sleep in his dorm room bed. And, uh, I mean the dude just straight up saved my life. Just straight up. Just don't ever doubt it. Um, and then like six months later he shows up at my front door after we get my apartment. And he's like,

hi, I think I'd like to live with you. And I'm like, yeah, our apartment's full. I'd have to talk to my roommate, Eric. I don't think I could. And he goes, yeah, but I think maybe you kind of owe me and I would really appreciate it. And I'm like, you know what? You're right. And, uh, so I just made room for him. He slept in my fucking bedroom floor for a year on a fucking air mattress. And then eventually we moved out of that place and moved into another place. And we just been best fucking friends ever since. And so I met one girl who moved in with me and she's like, I don't like this idea of your roommate. I don't like him living there.

I don't, I don't want, he's watching you have sex. So that's right. And you fuck her and hold his hand. And I'm like, I'm like, hey chad do you think you could probably you know move on and he's like yeah i mean he had no problem with it he you know didn't seem that butthurt or frustrated but he moved out and uh it was the worst decision i ever fucking made

and i did not make it work with that girl and i missed my best friend and i was just fucking miserable without him and so that girl moved out i bought him out of his new lease so he would move back in as a way to apologize. And just fucking when I met my wife, I'm like, so here's the thing. I have a best friend who's basically my brother. He saved my life not once, but twice. Once when I was sick and lying in bed with an infection that was killing me, he drug me to the hospital, literally threw me in his car and made me go when I told him to leave me there to die. Swear to God. And I'm like, so when we get married, if he wants to live with us, he lives with us forever. Do you understand? If you move in with me, Chad is part of the deal. He'll always be part of the deal. He'll always have a place to live. And if that's a deal breaker, I understand.

And she's like, no, not at all. Well, that's really cool. That's an easy conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bet it's really cool to have a buddy there. Your wife's there, but maybe you can't put everything on her all the time. It's probably nice to have that guy to go and vent to sometimes if you've got a little stress between you and your wife.

Who do you go to, especially in your unique situation? Exactly. It must be really comforting to have him there. And the reason I was able to do the show this week is my wife, her cousin just got out of jail, and she flew home to help him get settled and stuff. And I'm like, I really don't want to be involved in that. Can I stay home? And she's like, sure.

So me and him have just got to hang out all week. We talked video games i talked everything else this is great it's actually you know we don't see each other a lot um and the house is big enough to where really you know he stays in his room and i might see him for five minutes every three days uh but you know like weeks like this it's just it's the best decision we ever made you know like i like he's offered to pay his share of bill and rents, but I'm like, you know, here's the thing, you helped me build that YouTube channel and you should benefit from it. You know, we're paying a mortgage, so we're getting most of the money back anyway. So you just don't worry about it. He's like, well, I've got a deposit in the bank, you know, I've got plenty of money in the bank. So if I ever move out, I'll get the carpet done and the walls painted and everything taken care of.

And I'm like, you don't ever have to move out. So't worry about it you know yeah that's a cool situation i didn't realize that's that's how you were set up yeah you guys must really click because i can't imagine living with someone that long and not just being like oh my god this guy he is the best roommate you could ever want because literally when he's like being reclusive, you don't even fucking know he exists realistically. And he's just a very soft-spoken introvert, and he just doesn't really – I mean it's without a doubt the easiest roommate you could ask for just without a question. Does he work from home or go out? He works over at the university. He does like maintenance stuff up there.

And so he goes – he works nights, so he's asleep all day, and then he's gone all night. Yeah, it's a perfect situation. So if he ever gets married, are you bringing another one in the mix? He may be. Honestly, I don't foresee that ever happening because he just doesn't really interact with a lot of other people. Some of my friends, I swear to God, this is a true story. So we started having friends over on Saturday nights to come and hang out. Right. And, uh, I had a friend who had come over for six weekends in a row. And then one day Chad wakes up at like one o'clock in

the morning and walks into the living room. And my friend stares and goes, who the fuck are you? And I'm like, Oh, that's Chad. And he's like, what's a Chad? And I'm like, that's chad and he's what's a chad and i'm like it's my best friend dude i've never fucking seen this guy does he live here you know if he ever moves out you could have wings of redemption move in with you and he could replace that guy and that would be a drama worthy of its own sitcom and i've got a name for it what it'd be you and Wings of Redemption living together. It'd be called Two and a Half Men.

Oh, wow. That's pretty good. I was thinking you'd go on a pun and make it like Nine and a Half Men. Yeah, that's what I'm about to say. That's what I'm about to say. I've seen a few pictures of Wings lately, and as size as I am,

it's still at least four or five. I was trying to be nice. Jesus Christ. Appreciate it. I'd rather you were accurate than nice. Nice-ish. Remember, as long as it's funny. It's all fun.

Well, five men then. I'm not saying that wings and I are overweight. I'm saying I just don't want to get into the same elevator with him. That's all I'm saying. No one does. Yeah. I don't know. He seems into the same elevator with him. That's all I'm saying. No one does. He seems like he's doing alright. Honestly,

I went by and I was like, can I find the clip of him telling me off or whatever? I don't know. He's not at his biggest, so that's good. It seems alright. I think he has peaks and valleys. I think he's just wired that way. He had a valley a couple weeks ago and it seems like he's doing better now.

Yeah. Yeah, I watched... I love... And I'm curious, in that support group, like, obviously you guys are all on different paths, like, on different levels of your journey. Right, right, right. You're breaking up, Taylor.

You're breaking up, Taylor. Taylor, are you on Wi-Fi, I wonder? Worst part about it is I am on Wi-Fi, and I haven't broke up all night. Fuck you. I'm on a shitty laptop right now. Words hurt, boogie. Say it, man. Yeah, I know.

I said it because I'm almost on my computers. I'm running a ping constantly, so if everything's not working. I can see if it's me. Yeah, I drop packets on Wi-Fi but never wired. Yeah, I'm wired right now. I wasn't before the show and it was like doing a little something weird. So I went and grabbed a wire. So what was your question now? He's frozen for me.

I can't. Yeah, I think he's frozen. Oh, God damn it. In related news, I was going to say I watched Wing's most recent video. I love Wing's vlogs. Like, I wish he made a daily vlog just letting us know what's going on in his life. Can you recap it? I think I might have seen it.

Yeah, so at the beginning, there were, and forgive me, I don't know all the characters in the in his life but yes i know there were like three old women moving stuff out of his house again debating on who's a hoarder and who's not yeah they were arguing about who's a hoarder and who's not a hoarder and uh i think they were kicking out another tenant or something like that who was maybe over in his grandma's trailer and uh he went and like showed off his office which looks rather clean uh really closet he showed off the closet i saw the suicide bullets and saw all of his video games and stuff um you know that but but he he keeps things neat i wouldn't say spic and span but definitely neater than most single men, I would say.

Like, everything's organized. He's got that exercise bike over there with, like, three inches of dust on it. He's got his signature wall over there. I enjoy his videos. I wish he made a daily vlog and focused on whoever's in the house at that moment. Like, it's always different people. And oftentimes he's like, oh, yeah, this is Uncle Joe. It's always different people. Oftentimes, he's like, oh yeah, this is Uncle Joe. He's always around.

I'm like, I've never seen Uncle Joe before. What's his story? Has Uncle Joe done time? Does he make moonshine in the bathroom when you're not looking? When he was on PKA, he'd just be doing it and people would come by. It's like, who's that exceptionally skinny guy and why is he in a confederate

uniform? We just come back from the reenactment. We can't just pretend that didn't happen. What is happening here? When I went to his house, there was a Confederate reenactment on the side of the road, 20 miles from his house. They were out there marching. Everybody's wearing their fucking gray uniforms like lines of confederate they're firing cannons off i'm like wow i i thought i was from the heart of dixie this is

some legit shit right here i would love to see him do that oh man see that's the kind of shit i i it like like if i'm his producer for like his like blog channel it's like all right dude today you're Confederate general. Let's get your uniform together. We're going to the reenactment. You're going to be in the reenactment firing the cannon off. It'd be silly shit like that.

I enjoy all these vlogs, though. There is a challenge, though. Because if your vlogs make, I'm not sure how many he gets, but let's say 6,000 or 18,000 views, he can't have a $400 uniform budget. You know, he can't make a video of him destroying iPhones and then get 7,000 views on it. That's true.

You wouldn't start off with General Wings Redemption or whatever, you know, leading the Confederates or anything. General Wings. Yeah. God, I'd love that though. You know, you could start small. I love the, though. You know, you can start small. I love the vlogs, though. I like when he interviews his friends and family and the people who are in and out of the house there. I like when he walks around and shows you what the house looks like at any given time because it's always changing.

He's done like one or two house tours, and every time I see it, it's like, whoa, this is completely different. He's living in this bedroom now. Oh, now there's a strange man living in that room. Who's that fellow over there? Who's that old lady who looks very ill? Is she okay? Poke her. Oh, she's snoring.

Okay, it's all good. Wings gets along really well with old people, right? Sometimes it's easy to be standoffish when someone's threatening 70 years old. Not Wings! He's in there palling around like they went to high school together. Wings is great with old people. It's funny. Yeah, I like it.

I like it a lot. Whenever I see that he's uploaded a vlog, I clickety-click. I usually try to find somebody to watch it with if I can, if Chiz is online or something. Like, hey, cue up at zero. Let's watch this. This is going to be good. I watch it. You should ping me and see if I can. If Chiz is online or something. Hey, queue up at zero. Let's watch this. This is going to be good.

You should ping me and see if I'm online too because I don't miss many of his videos. For sure. Gaming videos. If it's a Wings video, I'm curious. I don't know. And Wings, I got YouTube red, so that's pennies you're rolling in. Not tenths of pennies. The gaming stuff isn't

usually for me, but the vlogs. I want to see him i want to see what he's up to um you know and and they're often unintentionally funny and and that's that's the beauty of it it's the unintentional funniness that that gets me and it keeps me coming back i usually i'm curious like he'll be playing a new COD. Even though I haven't played COD in a while, I'm curious about it. I value Wing's opinion on the game. Yeah, I've watched a good bit of the...

We didn't talk to Hutch much about it because there were so many other cool things to talk about when he was on. He was a good guest this most recent time. Really enjoyed it. He'd been playing a lot of Call of Duty World War II. I've watched some of his stream and I've watched a a few other streams i don't think it's for me i don't think i'm gonna purchase it i don't think i'm gonna get it either i don't like bolt action guns

is it heavy bolt action uh you know you got a mixture of stuff you know the sniper rifles are bolt action but you've got full you've got like the stg in there like the fully auto you've got fully auto stuff with good optics on them they they bend history a little bit and you know there's stuff that might have existed but it certainly wasn't in wide use but shit everybody's got one on their gun in this game you know it's just whatever just make the game fun i saw a new new game mode i i'm probably getting it wrong but there's like a tank that's like always moving and it's like if you have control over the tank as if it's a domination point, it moves toward the enemy. That seemed kind of interesting.

You were like escorting the tank. And if you're around it, it's your tank and it's moving toward them. Called war, according to Chiz. Although I remember there was a game mode called World at War. And I don't remember there being a tank involved. But maybe I'm wrong. But yeah, it's just not for me. I was watching a lot of the run-and-gun type stuff,

and it suffers from what a lot of the more recent CODs have suffered from. Not the flying around and being ridiculous, but more rather the maps that are just a maze where there are people coming from everywhere, really fickle spawn points, and punishing people who want to flank. The guy I was watching was constantly skirting the map,

trying to flank. He'd get back there. There's nobody there. Then he's shot in the back as he tries to get back into the map. It just didn't seem like my cup of tea at all. I'm definitely going to play PUBG if I want to shoot her. And right now, I'm really into this Warhammer game. Yeah, it's getting it.

I played it today. Any of you guys tried the Battlefront 2 beta at all? No, I haven't played it. If they had not fucked up the itemization with loot boxes and shit, that would be maybe game of the fucking year. But they ended up doing like the star card system. And they made an announcement that they were going to change all the pay to win aspects to it or whatever. And lock it behind levels of your character and stuff like that and achievements and stuff.

I don't know if they actually will. But the fucking combat was like right out of Battlefield 1 if you played it. And then Star Warsified it it and it's just incredible it was just ridiculously good oh what's so terrible about pay to win you've got money like would it be great it is it isn't it isn't because i'm not going to spend that money it's i just a matter of fucking principle i grew up a broke gamer and so when it comes to Mad at the Gathering, I'll buy all my magic cards. I'll buy a deck. I don't give a fuck. Even if I play Hearthstone,

I'll spend $200 or $300 on Hearthstone. But you know what? Those games don't charge me $60 up front. If it is going to charge me $60 up front, or actually $99 up front for the fucking deluxe model, then I'm not going to buy any fucking loot boxes. Instead, they charge you $18,000 on the back end.

I didn't realize what game you were referring then I'm not going to buy any fucking loot boxes. It's not going to happen. Instead, they charge you $18,000 on the back end. Yeah, yeah. I didn't realize what game you were referring to. You mean the Star Wars Battlefront game? Star Wars Battlefront 2, yeah, yeah. Oh, man, I watched some video of that. That looks like it would be incredible in wide or in 4K or any higher resolution. It's a beautiful game that moves really fast. And the guy I was watching had the droid the

big hulking droid that's uh it's from the new hope movie the one that just shoots a choo choo choo choo blaster and he can jet around and stuff it goes on like a 26 kill streak just fucking shit up and then heroes are fucking get so many points from that kill streak that i guess they they feed into each other that he gets darth maul and he didn't even really know exactly how to use all of Darth Maul's powers he goes into their spawn point and I like games that lets you go into a spawn point and rape he goes into their spawn point with four or five guys just in a huddle and he's wrong wrong wrong just cuts them all down runs out of the spawn point his health replen, and back in again and just repeats

the process three times in a row. It looks like so much fun. And it was his first... He'd been playing like four hours, and he was already just shitting on them. Who was it? Helping Hans, who is my Company of Heroes 2 tour guide. Is he very good?

No. At Company of Heroes 2, he's a tournament-level champion. But at this, I don't think that it's really his forte. But he did go on a 26-kill streak and really have a rapey clip. There was a one mode. I forget what it's called. But it was like you were guarding an artifact or whatever, and then the Empire is coming to get it,

and then they get it, and they get it to transport. They win. or whatever and then uh the empire is coming to get it and then they get it they get it to transport they win um and it gave me this like real return to castle wolfenstein vibe which is i guess a game too old for some some of you shit but uh return to castle wolfenstein just setting on the fucking docks and documents and just like waiting for people to come in the room that's exactly what we were doing we're like sitting on top of the artifact waiting for people to come in the building and like doors would slide open to that star wars and there's a fucking empire soldier with a couple stormtroopers it was like mowing them down and just trying to hold on to the artifact and they fucking lava grenade and everybody scatters and it's just

incredible it felt like really solid gameplay and it was such a huge difference from battlefront one it's just a drastic difference and i can't believe ea made them fuck it up with this star card system and like the problem is from these loot loot boxes it affects your guns and it affects your hero stats and like all the stuff that like that you equip to your class and like you don't get a special crate for playing assault right that unlocks assault abilities it's just you could play assault and just get rng'd out and never get any upgrades for assault for like 10 hours you can play just one class pick your class and never well i only like this hero i want to upgrade this hero fuck you you can't it's completely up to you um and then there's like four levels of star card and so the highest tier you either have to like level up the star card or open gold you can

just open the highest tier and so it just pays to buy as many loot boxes as you can to get gold gold tier cards and it's just like why it ruins it really spoils the game it doesn't seem fun because like i i like a get like i like a game where i can go in and through my own accomplishments within the game, I can rise up. And I like to think that whatever someone else has is attainable through accomplishments within the game. If you want to pay and take a shortcut and rank up quickly, like we did it. And I say we, I mean me and Woody and a bunch of people did it in Modern Warfare 2. You could do the prestige lobbies. And the videos that we were making for that weren't about climbing the rankings.

That wasn't the focus of the video. It was about just playing the game. And so having all the tools of the game, all the killstreaks, all the weapons, all the camos even, like, those were tools. They weren't the subject of the video. not they weren't the subject of the bit getting them wasn't the subject of the video using them was and so it made sense to let me just go in this lobby and pay like sometimes it was like microsoft points that you pay some random hacker dude to

like get your ninth prestige sometimes you get it for free depending on who you were and it was just like yeah fucking 10 million xp let's roll let's get on out of here now i've got every camo every everything that there is to unlock in this game and i like that better i did i was getting actually regretted it because i was like damn it like now i don't feel like i have anything to work towards you know why i like all the little accomplishments one i didn't go to 10th prestige because i thought somehow that was extra cheating. So I went to ninth. How moral of you. It was the best-looking emblem. Oh, and then, so I was playing game battles. I was getting into game battles that year,

and I didn't like not having the things I needed for game battles for the first 44 levels. Oh, that's fair. And it was really a problem for me. I couldn't freaking play. Ninja. Yeah, Ninja wasn't unlocked until like 42, 44, something high. And it was like, well, shit, I need Ninja.

And at different points in the game, depending on the meta, different things were the thing to have. Like for a while, it was dual akimbo 1887s. But then it became dual Rafikas or dual Glocks. Oh, those were fun. Yeah, they were very fun. One thing I liked about the lobby is suddenly my KD became something

that you can't have. It might have been like 118 or something. So now, I'm not judged. Now, suddenly people are looking up my stats. Well, obviously those are broken stats, so I don't know what his stats are. And I liked that. Because, you know, sometimes I'm playing with bad weapons, or sometimes I'm, I don't know what his stats are. And I liked that because, you know, sometimes I'm playing with bad weapons

or sometimes I'm, I don't know, rushing. I liked that I was just relieved from the pressure of all those stats. My win-loss was insane. I forget if it was really high or actually a negative number, but it was something that you wouldn't have. I remember my KD changed with that glitch too,

but it went to like exactly where I wanted it at like 2.4, but I had like 400,000 kills or whatever. Cause it added so many that then it just no pressure forever. Great KD. Come here. Do you want to say hello to the internet? No, but that,

uh, if, if you're out there listening to this and you've never seen star Wars battlefront two, um, I, if you've got a 4k monitor try to find i think jack frags does 4k content uh if you've got ultra wide try to find i think jack frags also does ultra wide um uh try to find like the best resolution and aspect ratio for whatever monitor or tv you're using or whatever. God damn it looks good. Is Twitch still limited to like 3.5 megabits as a stream rate?

Boogie, do you know? I honestly don't know. I stream at 2.5. Yeah, my fucking Cox Communications can't handle anything better. But the good news is Cox Communications, you motherfucking pieces of shit, Ozark Electric's about to give me fiber. They literally connected to my house this week, you motherfucking pieces of shit. Ozark Electric is about to give me fiber. They literally connected to my house this week, you motherfuckers.

I can't wait to fucking pay someone else. I would pay anyone else. I would pay Hitler's fucking corpse to get rid of you pieces of shit. You overcharging, worthless content, always fucking disconnecting, always fucking throttling me fuckers. I fucking hate

that company. I used to fucking hate that company i used to love that company used to swear by it i'm so lucky to have cox communications i don't know what the fuck happened man but literally they started you know they capped me at one terabyte like soft capped me or whatever and now they're charging like five dollars per gigabyte over or whatever and so my my bill is ridiculous shadows of war is 69 fucking gigs before i get the high res textures it's 101 gigs it's a tenth of my monthly allotment are you fucking joking and i'm like i'm like well can i pay you twice as much for twice the data and like uh you could buy a second installment into the house but it would slow down the first one and i'm like what

about your business line like well the business line is slower but it's more expensive and you have to sign a two-year contract well fuck your company suck my dick i would rather get dsl i almost signed up for dsl just to get rid of them i like i'll fucking deal with dsl instead and uh nope i was i i happen to be in the first test area of my electric company uh bringing a fiber here it's one gig down one i get whatever fiber is no well yeah i i got two lines i got two lines at my house and neither one of them they're any good you know it's like 20 20 down uh two up and uh but i made sure they gave me two lines not just one line split into two which is what they tried to do at first i was like no no no no no i want you to dig a fucking separate trench for the second line don't even put it

in the same hole i know no funny business here i want to see where these things hooked up two conduits yeah two trenches two different cables like don't even hook them up at no no you hook that one up over here and this one over there like i don't want any fuckery here because because those i can't think of a more evil like big big telecommunications or big internet or whatever whatever they are are the are worse than big pharma big sugar or big corn syrup big big anything they're the worst the military industrial complex isn't as evil as those people siphoning around where's google fiber has anyone know like Remember two years ago Google Fiber was always going

into some new neighborhood. Reddit posts getting upvoted. Google Fiber going to my city, Raleigh got approved for Google Fiber. Now, you know, I get emails like, oh, you've probably seen our trucks around. No. No, I haven't seen your trucks around. So,

the answer to that question is they originally did it to challenge the cable companies, think they would move in that right direction. The cable companies will not move in that right direction. And Google said it's basically just too expensive to dig up all these fucking sidewalks. They just can't afford to do it as a company. And it's fucking Google. So that leads you to wonder, well, the cable companies are never going to do it as a company and it's fucking google so that leaves you to wonder well the cable companies are never going to do it except did you know we gave them b billions of dollars to pay for a fiber infrastructure here in the united states and you know what they did with

the money put it in the fucking pocket because i guess i don't know why we didn't tell them how to spend it i've heard that too but i will will say this. I think the threat of Google Fiber is the reason I have AT&T Fiber. It is. But they'll only put AT&T Fiber where they have to. They would never give it to me because Google isn't coming to me. They're so...

It's capitalism at its worst, unfortunately. We need a little socialism when it comes to our fucking internet. We need a highway project when it comes to our fucking internet. We need a highway project when it comes to our internet. Some guy to say they need to make the case that it makes us militarily stronger to have high speed

internet everywhere. Because that's what the interstate system was about. It depends who's president. If the Republicans are president then we need to be militarily stronger. If the Democrats are president then the reason we need it is for social justice. The KKK hates fast internet. What side of history will you be on?

Fast internet, I guess. But at the end of the day, the actual ruling class in this country, which is the corporations who own this fucking shit show, they are the ones who do not want this shit put into place, and they absolutely will not let us fucking do it. That dog's so cute, man. He's like...

His eyes are all close together like a little demon dog. I'm a dog. And they're wall-eyed. That's my favorite part about them. They fucking... Yeah, I love that dumb, stupid-looking dog. He has the most personality of any dog we've ever had. If I could speak, I would tell you to kill me. that's my favorite part about him they fucking yeah i love that dumb stupid looking dog he has the most personality of any dog we've ever had if i could speak i would tell you to kill me

i've never taken an easy breath in my life do you see how little my legs are god i like retarded dogs like like we have a retarded dog it's got it you know It's just not all there. It's weird. It has this thing where it smiles and sneezes constantly when it's happy. It's freaking the fuck out. I'll do this thing where I jump up and down and go, Woo! Yeah! Yeah! Who wants chicken?

And the dog's like, Like, freaking the fuck out. It's great. I don't want a regular dog i want a i want a dog it's not all there i love ender we have our big black great dane is perfect he is the sweetest dog he has tons of personality he's really smart too which isn't something i ever knew i valued in a dog except that you know he can like let himself in the house with the doorknob and shit like i like that and uh velociraptor like a velociraptor exactly and uh when when he's like once love and stuff

you don't have to bend over you know he's like sort of nipple high so you just sort of love him up and then send him on his way he's a great dog yeah he's in i haven't seen him since he was waist high so i'm sure he's fucking enormous he walks in and you can't even see him all he's above the frame i forget that he's not a normal size dog anymore because like every time like a new delivery man comes they're like oh my god and of course they call them horses they can't stop doing that but yeah he's a great dog he's wonderful except his tail oh my god it's painful it he whips it and it hurts and i'm not it's not like oh yeah lol it hurts it's like no like i'll carry a pillow in front of me or just need to block it you'll lift

up your shin like a muay thai fighter because the thing is whipping check the wag exactly yeah it's rough it's rougher than you're probably imagining it hurts speaking of mma i don't know if you watched the highlights from the last event i watched the last event man demetrius with that reverse when he threw him off he threw borg off his back i've never seen anything like that before that kind of dominance that that was like to arm bar that's not even a thing the suplex to arm bar was outrageous i'd never seen that but when when he was on his back and he just sort of he like gets some sort of hand control he like gets position and then he explodes and oh yeah throat i've never seen that

because when you get someone's back it's not necessarily gonna end well especially from a standing position there's stuff that can be done like he could jump back and slam you on the ground and hurt you somehow, like he could twist out of it I guess, but I've never seen anybody just like use explosive shrugging and hand control to just throw another professional fucking fighter off their back. That was incredible dominance. Nobody's gonna beat that guy. Somebody's gonna have to come down to his weight class or he's gonna have to go up to theirs for there to even be an interesting fight. The interest is his dominance, I suppose, but he's just held back by his size and the fact that he's such a nice guy.

And one of the weird things about combat sports in general, whether it's boxing or anything, if someone's that dominant, they say, oh, it's weak. Like, he didn't have a rival. Unless it's the Larry Bird, Magic Johnson thing where they trade championships, then they're just like, oh, I guess everybody else sucked. I don't know everybody else sucked. There's gold medal winners in boxing there.

There's very good elite athletes that he's making look like they're not elite athletes. And I guess that's his curse. He never loses. Incredible. Incredible. Love seeing that. Chael made some good points.

I heard him talking about this. He was talking about how he should make the turn. Turn heel. Turn the face into the heel. And he should have been like, yeah, said something about, you know. He said something like i'm retiring right now just kidding i'm gonna continue to take your money for as long as i feel like it drop the mic and just go heal yeah yeah i agree he should become a bad guy you know because

i'm sorry i cut y'all i'm excited about this so chael calls himself the bad guy, right? His company even. That's his YouTube channel. Bad Guy Inc. Oh, is his YouTube channel Bad Guy? He always says he's the bad guy. And he's like, a lot of people aren't comfortable being the bad guy. They're not willing to take all the heat that goes with being hated. The thing is, Chael's not hated, right?

No one really thinks he is. He says he plays the bad guy. Then he goes on The Ultimate Fighter, and he's the ultimate loving, helpful, supportive coach. You know, then he releases videos of himself talking to high school wrestlers with life lessons about bravery in sports and et cetera. You know, Chael releases lots and lots of footage of him being a very sincere, kind, nice guy, and then plays the bad guy 2% of the time, pretending that he really is the bad guy. But no one thinks of Chael really as the bad guy 2% of the time pretending that he really is the bad guy. But no one thinks of Chael really as the bad guy, right?

They like him. But he needs to be the bad guy in promotions when it's in fight mode. When he's going to fight another man, he needs to be the bad guy in that relationship. He needs to be talking shit, disparaging the other guy. He needs to be braggadocious. Just, I'm going to do this and I'm going to do that.

Just talking lots of shit, being very disrespectful. It's more about that. Most people can't do it part-time. TJ Dillashaw, right? He's actually disliked. For whatever reason, TJ left his gym. There was a coach, Bang Lugwig, and

he helped TJ do really well. Somehow there was conflict in there and tj left his camp and stayed with bang stayed with his coach everybody hates him everybody hates him yeah money was involved too the other camp was paying him whereas the camp he left he would pay them so there's but he wanted to stay in his original camp and like get get inside information to then basically sell you know back back to the new team. If you watch the Rogan interview where it had Ludwig

and a fighter, either the fighter or Ludwig, maybe it was TJ. Who's the fighter we're talking about? Who's the snake? TJ Dillashaw. Because he changed his fucking avatar to a snake. He's ran with it a little bit, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I can't remember who the... It's Cody Garbrandt. So Cody's in that group. Either Cody or Ludwig didn't want to tell all this. They were trying to pump the brakes on Rogue. They're like, I don't know if I... But Cody was like, we've already said it, dude. Let's just say it.

Let's just tell the truth. Let's tell what happened. And so that's what it was. It was like he wanted to continue to come back to his original gym and like Keep working with them and they made it sound like no he's just selling our secrets out like like he's talking You know he's looking for guys who are injured He's looking for guys who have injuries here or there guys who have weaknesses here or there, guys who have weaknesses here or there. And he's like selling secrets. He's coming here and beating up on people and then going and collecting their money.

And they made him sound really bad in that interview. That's the first time I've heard selling. But what he wanted to do from TJ, like when TJ explains it, he's like, I wanted to train with them all the time. But then when I do a camp, like pre-fight, go with Bang Lugwig. And he felt like he'd have the best of both worlds there.

But whatever it is, TJ, people haze him. You look at his Twitter feed, it's filled with hate. People calling him a snake nonstop. TJ gets what heels normally get, which is all the hate and dislike. And it's tension. And the tension brings money. I'm not saying it pays less. I'm just saying it's hard you know it's harder if anyone here has ever been like the the hated guy

it drains you a bit and chail somehow gets to have both sides somehow he gets to be a bad guy but get love and i just feel like when he advises people to be a bad guy, he's coming from a very unique position, a loved bad guy. Yeah, it depends what makes you bad. In TJ's case, I think they said that they told Connor one of the things that TJ had done, and then Connor went after him on the reality show, I think, and yelled at him. And I'm sure that Connor's got so many fans behind him that anybody that Conor doesn't like, they don't like. So I guarantee.

And Cody's the same way. Cody Garbrandt is such a nice guy. He is maybe the nicest guy. He's the one who comes out with a cancer kid at every fight. He's a douche to me. He's a total douche nozzle to me. Yeah. And he's an idiot.

He's got a douche shield. He's got a douche.. He's got a douche. No, no, no. I got the cancer kid with me. That's interesting. I wonder what other people think. Cody Gambrin, to me, is just... He's the ultimate sort of male bully douche idiot, by the way.

And you can't... I bet his IQ is 85 or something. All right, Trump. I'm a big fan of Cody. I love him. Okay. I love him. Really? Love him. Oh, I love him. I mean, I. I'm a big fan of Cody. I love him. Okay. I love him. Really?

Love him. Oh, I love him. I mean, I like watching him fight. He's explosive. His hand speed is outrageous. Oh, he's very good. People, and it's like, they're like,

oh, God, did he hit me twice or three times? Jesus. I think he's going to get busted for steroids. He doesn't pass the eye test. Mm. But that's just...

Maybe. Maybe so. Envy talking, probably. He looks like an action figure here's my opinion on the steroids and fighting sports i think either everybody should do them or nobody should do them of course but i really like it when the little guys do it because i don't think that they're getting enough like power behind it to cause serious brain damage necessarily when you got mark hunt is you know i can't remember where his goddamn keys are because

overing pounded his brain in and and lesnar pounded his brain in and Lesnar pounded his brain in. And there's a third or fourth on steroids that pounded his brain in. I can't think of who it was. That Neanderthal dude. Silva? Giant Silva or something? Sure, Bigfoot.

Of course, he needs them for whatever. It's pituitary or whatever. He's got gigantism. What a ridiculous thing. That should be in the UFC rules. No giants. Yeah. Guys can should be in the UFC rules. No giants. Yeah. Guys can't fight in the girls division.

Giants can't fight in the... No fucking Hodor's in there. No centaurs. No minotaurs. No sphinxes. We don't want any dragon people. No witchcraft. Wolfman is okay.

Yeah, but somehow there's a literal fucking okay. But see, that's the MMA that I would watch, though. That's fair. MMA. Mixed martial mythology arts. Something like that, yeah. The MMMA. The MMMA.

And tonight it's Jesus versus Muhammad. That I would watch. we talk about you have to blur muhammad out but you wouldn't see shit and jesus is beating the shit out of that blur over there like what the fuck god jesus is killing it did we talk about rick and morty yet uh yeah we talked about the szechuan sauce and you're kind of blasé on it. I feel like in seasons one and two, because we started to say it's pre-show, and now I'm mixed up on what we said,

but seasons one and two were deep and intricate and jokes, and you're not sure. Like, I think this actually might be a Morty from a different universe and C-136 and 7 and all that shit. Season three seemed kind of on the surface. There were several episodes that were. The the uh the vindicators episode was trash um you can see behind the scenes stuff where harman is saying like this is trash this is terrible we didn't follow our formula and i don't know if you've ever seen him with the marker board talking about the formula of the hero's journey

um i can't say it off the top of my head, but it's the hero's journey. It starts with, I can't do it off the top of my head, but it's like there's a problem, and then they have to rise above to beat the problem, and then they come to a new understanding through rising above it, and there's this whole journey you go through.

And I saw this YouTuber break down why the Vindicators doesn't follow that process because it's it's clear right away the vindicators aren't really heroes that they're kind of shitty and right away morty is aware of that and as soon as morty is aware of that he's sort of just like slonking along through the episode knowing what's coming next every step of the way and we sort of identify as morty we're kind of riding along with him as the audience. And it just, that episode was garbage. ABC's of Beth wasn't even up.

I liked it more than you. I think it was the lowest, it was the worst one for me. No, Pickle Rick was the worst one of the ones I've seen. I know you don't like Pickle Rick, but the fans love that shit. I saw this fucking dumbass. There's so many, like, here's the issue with the Rick and Morty fans. It'sass there's so many like here's the issue with the Rick and Morty fans it's that there are so many of them I think they're getting a bad rap but the thing is there's so many of them that it

encompasses so many groups of people age groups generational groups set different sexes different belief systems that you're gonna have some idiots some knuckleheads mixed in there so I saw this guy run into mcdonald's like people who like pick a rick yeah let me see if i can find this video because i think i know this one right so hard at this and i'm pretty sure that guy is just like francising right like it occurred to me to run into a mcdonald's as francis and go where the fuck's my cash watch you motherfuckers right you know i you know and i'm like that'll go viral but what mcdonald's worker deserves that right i'm not gonna do that to anybody right but i think that's what this guy

is doing he can't be legit right yeah but this guy doesn't have a million subscribers this guy isn't isn't doing this for a living this guy's a tool right oh you're right and plus i mean it's the old adage hey look i was just pretending to be an asshole. You're still an asshole, right? Yes, exactly. And this is not... If he had a Pickle Rick costume, if it was Pickle Rick cosplay, if he was painted green and cylindrical, maybe I'd get on board.

Let's watch this. It's 30 seconds, please. 3, 2, 1, play. I want Sex and One Sauce! Where's my Sex and One Sauce? I'm Pickle Rick! This kind of shit makes me so uncomfortable. Not me. How would you resist kicking him right in the face as he's making that scene? It's funny. I just that scene. It's funny. I just smile and think it's funny.

I'm... That's where your shoes go. Up on the food counter. That's where your shoes belong. Are you under the impression that counter was clean? That counter was not clean. That counter was not clean. It was cleaner.

Oh, there's been dozens of dollars in car keys and everything on there. I don't know. Bottom of his shoes could have cleaned something off. I think that's... It is funny, but it's funny because he's making a fool of himself in public, I guess. And it's not nearly as bad as some... There are these videos...

Viral videos go through trends, right? For a while, it was prank videos, right? It was people getting pranked really hard. And then there's different, they went through phases and they got more and more extreme. I've seen recently people just like going on rampages and destroying property. Like, just like running, like there'd be a street vendor

with a lot of sunglasses or something and they'll just jump and dive bomb them. Like, remember the guys who threw the milk jugs in the air at grocery stores? Like, it's a little similar to that. But those guys just made a mess and destroyed $8 worth of milk. Now I see guys who, like, run into a, like, one of them was a smoke shop, like, where they sell bongs and stuff.

And he just, like, runs and, like, steals a bunch of stuff seemingly, like, like, like vape juices. And then on his, and the store clerk is trying to stop him. And on his way out he just like clothes lines an entire rack of bongs which are expensive you know he maybe breaks 500 a thousand dollars worth of shit on his way out and then i saw another guy who was like a street vendor you know with sunglasses and like a kiosk at the mall but it's on the street and this guy does like a dive bomb on it which looked like it would have injured himself, and just crashes it all.

I see people who will like jump on a Lamborghini or something and like just run over it, like hood to trunk. I saw that guy get knocked out last night. I saw that one. Fuck yeah. I was so happy. Like this big fat guy with salmon pants. The problem is, so the guy jumps on the Lamborghini runs over it across the hood and then darts off and then he starts to do it again

but this time the driver like gets him and corners him and maybe hits him or something while he's doing that some other citizen is like no don't be doing this why don't you just go back in your car and he's like you want to just run in my car he's going to jump on it again

it's a fast car drive away he's like, you want to just run in my car? He's going to jump on it again. It's a fast car. Drive away quickly. Really? No, fuck you. This guy deserves... Yeah, yeah. They don't like... God damn it. Let a guy take an ass kicking. He is so deserving of an ass kicking. I support

a little corporal punishment. Maybe it's the way I was raised, right? Back me up, boogie. I mean, at the very least, at the very least, you're going to sue the living fuck out of him. Or just give him a gentle stabbing. A corrective stabbing. This wasn't like Woody jumped on your car and you might get something and he might settle with you. This was some punk on the fucking street.

This is some kid who probably lives with his parents. He's got $50 to his name and he's's jumping on a half-million-dollar fucking car. Even if this guy's wealthy, even if this guy's wealthy, that's a half-million-dollar car. The wealthiest people value their half-million-dollar car. And just, you know, think about the inconvenience

of someone fucking your car up, and now you've got to... You can't just take your Lambo down to spray and pray and let them fix the thing up. Mako doesn't do Lambos. It's a huge ordeal now that you've made someone go through. Like, yeah, fuck him. He needs an ass whooping.

Absolutely. He knocked him unconscious. This guy looked like a businessman who was trying to stop the fight. But oftentimes it's some mom yelling, stop! Stop it! Stop it! Any woman who screams and that may i think there's something in us like genetically that maybe as men maybe it's just as human beings that when you hear a

woman screaming that high-pitched way it's like an alarm it's it's it's like it's like when the the bees smell the pheromone from the queen they They're like, oh shit, we gotta get, oh shit, defense mode, defense mode. Like, it gets you, it gets your attention the same way like a fire alarm does. When a woman screams that way and it's not necessary, it pisses me off so fucking much. I think the same way those drone bees

get pissed off when the queen shoots out that alarm pheromone. Because it's like, go to war mode. The women are in danger. It's like something inside me hates that so much. It never calms down the situation. It only exacerbates it. It fills me with rage.

I just want to be like, shut the fuck up. If we would all just speak in a normal voice right now, we could tamp this situation down. He's not beating into death. This isn't one guy and one hammer, two guys and one hammer and a screwdriver. He's not beating into death this isn't two this isn't one guy and one hammer two guys one hammer and a screwdriver we're not he's not murdering him in the street he can take a little ass whooping let's calm the fuck down you see the mcdonald's one where like i guess they jump over the counter

these girls jump over the counter to attack the guy and he has like a i don't know what he has some sort of rod like a three-foot rod or you know what it is what was this what was the seal do is a sword i don't know taylor it's a seal their sword it was the shards of narcil he comes back with the shards of narcil from the back room of mcdonald's and he starts beating these women down and he does not stop he they let's watch it this is so fucking satisfying oh she's found it already thank you yeah it's a big video we're not this version i gotta sign in sign into youtube yeah oh one minute 10 seconds this is great i great. I'm there. I'm good. I'm there now. Is everybody ready?

Get what you deserve, bitch! It's coming! Three, two, one, play. This is like a Dave Chappelle shit. But keeping it real goes wrong. Little did Shemika know that Rayon had just gotten out of prison. He had. And he was working for $5.75 an hour. He was in prison for manslaughter.

She comes over the counter to fight this guy. Let me get the shards of Nile Seal. Yes. Yes. All right, the threat has been neutralized, but he's not done. Do you hear the stop? Do you hear the stop? Yeah.

Give her a swing. Hit her just once! Once or twice? Oh my god! Hit the woman! Get her! Get her! Oh my god, get her!

Get her! This is why I don't fucking go out in public. Oh, that woman needs a whacking. She needs a whacking. Just one gentle whack to put her on the right path. Thank you, Taylor.

You see the way I see it. It's two women he's beating, by the way, so you might be thinking, oh, he hit her too many times. No, just divide that in half. It's the proper amount. beating, by the way. So you might be thinking, oh, he hit her too many times. No, just divide that in half. It's the proper amount. The appropriate amount of beatings. Well, actually, he was a little shy because he didn't get the blonde at all. She earned a little whooping, I thought.

Hot coffee at least. Yeah, McDonald's hot coffee. It's a lethal weapon. Jesus. Everybody mocked that, the woman who sued for the hot coffee. You ever see the pictures of her groin? Yeah, I think we talked about it on the show And it was eye-opening

It's gross She deserved that million That pussy wasn't right for a long time And McDonald's had been warned This wasn't the first time And apparently We talked about this on the show before But it was super interesting to me

McDonald's was intentionally making their coffee too hot because people drank it more slowly and didn't ask for a refill. They had free refills, but they could get out of them if the coffee lasted the length of the meal. So they're like, ah, we'll burn them with the coffee. Then they don't get refills. And this was like a corporate policy. And yeah, and they knew it was dangerous but they did it for that reason and it made perfect sense that she got into the trouble that yeah i can remember when we go to mcdonald's like on the we go hunting and we get up way before

the sun came up and we go by mcdonald's and my dad and i would each get a cup of coffee and we get a cup of ice too to fucking put in the goddamn coffee because it was too hot to drink before you got to the hunting spot. It was just, you'd get like, you know, an inch down. It's way too hot. Should we call it a wrap? Yeah, let me read this post roll, and then Boogie can tell us where we can go find all his wonderful things. Hopefully he comes back.

The Total Warhammer the Total War Warhammer series has returned to critical acclaim. Join the battle with four all new playable races. The Noble High Elves their murderous cousins the Dark Elves the Ancient and Orderly Lizardmen and their ravenous and destructive Skaven in the most absorbing story driven real time strategy game

of the year. Visit TotalWar.com for more information or head on over to Steam and purchase a copy for yourselves of Total War Warhammer 2 today. I've been on pretty much every day, every evening playing the game. If you're on my friends list, hit me up. I've been going through my friends

list and weeding out the people who haven't been online in like a week or two weeks or month or something like that. So send me a friend request. I'll accept it if I have room. Keep me on the list. Oh, you've been gone for a while, my friend. I had to weed. It was like, Woody

has not been online in 475 days. I was like, well, I gotta go. If he wants to play, I'll make some room for him. Well, thanks. But yeah, I'd like to, maybe me and Taylor could play some 2v2s against some people. I've been really enjoying...

I've been playing 2v2s with just randoms online, and I really like that. That's really fun. Skaven are my favorite race now, I think. Wow. Yeah, I haven't played since the last time we played together, so I'll need to touch up. Check out Boogie's stuff.

Oh, Boogie, you're... Yeah, Boogie, pimp your stuff. Yeah Check out Boogie's stuff. Oh, Boogie, you're... Yeah, Boogie, temp your stuff. Sorry, let's see. I stream on Twitch about three or four nights a week these days, generally about 10.30 Central Standard Time. That is twitch.tv slash boogie298. Still making YouTube videos, talking about gaming news about once a week,

and blogging my life, still doing the Francis character from time to time. That's at youtube.com slash boogie298. If you want easy links to everything, including my merch store, you can go to boogieplays.com. Thanks to the folks over at Squarespace for helping me out with that.

That's pretty much about it. Don't come to my house. Thank you. Check out all Boogie's stuff, but don't go to his house. Alright. Painkiller episode check out all boogie stuff and don't go to his house alright Pain Killer episode thanks for having me guys it's been an absolute pleasure I'm sure I'll see you guys in about 6 months again

sounds right 100 pounds that'll be cool