Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #357

Episode Date: October 27, 2017

This week on PKA, xJawz is back! The guys watch some idiots partake in human branding, Kyle has a great idea that he shares called "Cumfetti" and we debate if a woman is truly horrible for crushing a small child.

PK, hey, episode 357. Oh, so in about an hour, hour and a half, XJaws will be joining us. So if you're here for him, just watch the whole thing. You'll like the show. But anyway, our guest will be XJaws. For now, he'll get the three of us.

Kyle? Yeah, a couple sponsors tonight. Lyft, Beachbody. Yeah, Casper Mattresses, the Walking Dead app. And let's see, Audible. Yeah. Nice. Not a lot of prep for that, was there, Kyle?

I was a little surprised. I wasn't quite prepared to start the show. I mean, I did ask, are you guys ready? That's fair. This isn't something we usually start off with. It's really a curveball. Yeah, yeah. I really hoodwinked him on that one.

It's never ever. PKA, number, number, number. Kyle? I like it when I don't know what show it is, like if Chiz is producing. PKA episode three. Kyle? Anyway. Kyle, you were saying you have some real pieces of shit to talk about tonight.

And for you, when you come into a conversation saying, here are a real pieces of shit to talk about tonight and i and for you when you come into a conversation saying here are a couple pieces of shit i know these are real pieces of shit yeah because you've got your head on straight for that kind of thing so who do you want to start i feel like taylor just said if kyle considers him a piece of shit right like by that measuring stick they must be bottom one percent is that what you just said? Kyle's very good at rationalizing the behavior of pieces of shit. And so when he looks at it and goes, I can't spin that, you know, then I know that it must be legit. I'm a forgiving person.

You know, I can see how someone could get themselves in a jam here or there, and maybe your actions could go awry. But these people, let me know which one of these you'd like. Would you prefer the one that you perceive to be the least fucked up of these fucked up people, and then amp up towards the top fucked up. He doesn't, yeah, Taylor doesn't

want to, what does Joe Rogan always say? Blow his wad? Right away? Does he say that? It sounds like a sex thing. No, he does constantly blow his wad. That's like a Joe Rogan, like, repeated term in every freaking fight he does. And he's like, what? No, he does constantly blow his wad. That's like a Joe Rogan repeated term in every freaking fight he does. And he's like, what? No, it's a poker term.

Like, why? Why are you guys making it so dirty? It's a poker thing. He knows what he's doing. That's one of those sexual phrases like clam or axe wound or like super, super vulgar. Gash. Gash that you never actually say around women no woman wants to like you know be pleasuring you and hear like oh yeah let me blow my load it's like oh or blow

my wad like no that's yeah that's not a poker term it's a little low class that is that is not a poker term well there's this 325 pound woman here uh florida I agree, piece of shit. Right off the bat, right? She's 64-year-old Veronica Green. She didn't drown. Let me... Human buoy. I'll send you a link here, because I feel like you need to see her face. Because

you can tell she's got a real didn't do nothing kind of vibe about her. She was going to punish her 9-year-old cousin. Doesn't really say what her nine-year-old cousin had done to deserve this punishment, but she began by beating her with a ruler and then a pipe. And when that didn't, I guess, sink in, as you would say, she sat on the nine-year-old for 10, 15 minutes and the nine-year-old for 10, 15 minutes, and the nine-year-old complained,

I can't breathe, but I guess that didn't really sink in, if you will, to Veronica here. And then the child was found to be unresponsive and died. She follows the Taylor method of starting slow and ratcheting it up, right? So this was the least offensive person that you had? It absolutely is the least offensive person. This has been crushed a child to death and she's on the lowest end of this list.

This is going to be a good list. Right? Jesus Christ. I mean, how long into the sit did she realize something was awry? Like when the wiggling stopped? Yeah. When the struggling stopped?

Do you think anyone with half a brain would realize, oh, the child, you know, oh, she just said when her ass got cold. She might be at about a one-third brain. Is she a stroke victim? No, she's just sad. Bell's palsy? No, she's putting on a face that says, oh, I didn't just cold-bloodedly murder a child. I didn't just sit on a child and crush him to death. Look at how asymmetrical her face is, though.

The right side is drooping more than the left. You guys don't see a little Bell's palsy stroke going on there? I mean, I don't know. I'm not real good at diagnosing that. She's not all there because she did crush a child. So any number of issues might be affecting this lady. She sat on a child until that child was dead. 325 pound woman.

If she wasn't such a fat fuck, she probably would have had the cardio to give a couple more ruler whacks and that would have been the end of this. How old was wax and that would be the end of this how old was the kid of resorting to crush nine nine okay so the video auto audio play auto played sorry uh and it showed this like cute little six-year-old i'm like did she kill him nah he's okay she couldn't catch him no no his body was found in the dumpster his prognosis looks terrible, according to me. Oh, are you serious? Wings heard there was a large woman sitting on people, and he wanted to sign up.

Let me get under Wings. It always goes back to Wings. That brings me to our next little topic here. This may be the worst person. Woody, give your rating on the piece to shit scale? Oh man. So you murder a kid to death with what I presume is a poorly wiped asshole

given the fact that she's 325 pounds. She had pants. It's a fair assumption. And keep in mind before even the crushing she was beating this kid with a metal pipe. I'm going to make her a 2. half out of ten right one being the most evil just ten being the most evil all right well seven and a half

and uh um and i'm just trying to give myself some room for whatever kyle has in store because i would have tender had i not known kyle's ranking well i'm gonna I'm going to say a 7 as well. This gentleman. She might just be so dumb that she didn't know she was murdering the kid. I mean, that's such a level of dumb. Look at her face. I don't know. When I see, I don't know.

Especially when you see a murder of someone who killed a child. I really wish someone else would get on board with the whole Bell's Palsy diagnosis or stroke. Bell's Palsy. I'm all alone on that one. Oh my god, I have to unblock ads for this article. God.

Alright, so this one is right out of Wings of Redemption's neck of the woods, Conway, South Carolina. This white restaurant manager is accused of enslaving and abusing a mentally disabled black man.

He's been indicted on federal charges, as you might imagine. Let's see. Edwards, who's 52 years old, was arrested this week and pled not guilty in court on Wednesday, shortly after prosecutors announced the indictment. Let's see. It says he attempted to establish peonage, which is a new one for me. Slavery, involuntary servitude, or human trafficking.

It carries a maximum sentence of 20 years in prison. Seems like it'd be more for being a modern-day slave master. And this poor gentleman that he was enslaving, this Smith man, a 39-year-old with mild cognitive disability, had worked for more than two decades without issue at the J&J cafeteria, washing dishes, busing tables, and later cooking the fucking food at the folksy small-town diner. Apparently this guy would beat him with a belt buckle. No, but keep reading.

So he worked there for two decades without issue, But when Edwards took over as the manager in 2010, Smith said, the job turned into a nightmare. Edwards would force Smith to work from dawn until late into the night, seven days a week with little or no pay, no benefits, no vacation time, Smith alleged. Some days he would leave so exhausted and weak he had to be carried home and physically fed, drink and food. He was so exhausted and weak he had to be carried home and physically fed drink and food. He was so exhausted from being slaved away, couldn't feed himself, said he called him racial slurs, threatened to stomp on his throat and beat him. People would not recognize him anymore. Taylor, I'm always impressed with your vocabulary.

You got peonage stored away. You know what that is? I would assume just from the context of of peon it means that he's trying to make him into a peon like like way back in the day like you'd be the lord of a fiefdom or something you got a bunch of peons indentured servitude it's sometimes called debt slavery debt slavery or debt servitude so i had to look it up i'm not being smart this modern day prison system i want to see what he actually did to this guy so he said he threatened to beat him and then he said he also assaulted him regularly taking him

into the freezer or back office uh in one instance he dipped a pair of tongs in hot frying grease and scalded the back of his neck oh jesus christ whipped him with a belt buckle that is a rough boy you want greasy neck? Greasy neck, goodness gracious. All the while, Smith lived in a squalor behind a restaurant in a roach-infested apartment owned by Edwards. So basically like a prison, it seems like. Worse than a prison.

Like a gulag. Yeah, my understanding of prison is they don't typically dip a pair of tongs into hot frying grease and scald the back of your neck. They didn't even have that in Oz. Yeah, right? I thought that swastika tattoo was rough, but honestly, this might be worse. The Gracie neck.

That was a pretty sterile branding he did to him, right? Get your titles bust. Let's see. At one point, he didn't bring the food out to the buffet fast enough, and he whipped him with a belt buckle. Now, you guys are giving me shit about being rough on the wait staff. We need to readjust our bar. Like, by this standard, I'm pretty cool.

You've never burned anyone with heating utensils or serving utensils in conjunction with cooking oil so that puts you a step above this slave owner all right i by the way i'm saying this guy is not as bad and i'm um sixing him wow i disagree this guy i'm giving six two because uh we have to have standards the one before someone was murdered a child nobody died but think about this is still reprehensible think about this way this went on for for a very long period of time this was day in day out slavery where he beat a mentally disabled man and forced him into modern day slavery whereas the other thing was nine-year-old will never see another

day but it was a heat of the moment kind of thing where she says the child's out of control and she sat on the child to calm it down just saying you think that was the first time that child got a beating from a metal pipe i think it's the first time a 325 pound woman sat on the child because the didn't look like a wiley coyote cartoon i don't know that it was the first time though right like maybe she's been ratcheting up the length of her dirty asshole sit punishment over the course of her babysitting career and there is always the possibility that she knew the kid was dying and continued anyway and by the way i don't think my as i picture this i bet the kid didn't get like a solid – so my understanding is it takes about four minutes to die from asphyxiation. I think that's not getting the oxygen you need.

It takes about four minutes to die. But you throw in a breath or two in there and that can stretch out to like six or nine minutes to kill someone, right? If they just get one – don't you think he did? He's under that ass. Don't you think he turned his head into the couch cushion and got a little stinky yeah but they're not there i don't know if they said asphyxiation but but i'm thinking it's like crushing it's like you know maybe his heart couldn't operate well i mean his whole his whole like his whole pollinary system what i'm getting at is i don't

think it was a four minute punishment i think she did this for like 10 minutes or better to kill someone yeah that happens i don't know it's a right in the movies they hold them under the water minute punishment. I think she did this for 10 minutes or better to kill someone. That happens in the movies. In the movies, they hold him under the water and the second they stop struggling, they're dead. Dude, it's been 20 seconds. He's fine. Sometimes I do that just to get peace and quiet.

Maybe it broke some ribs or something. To who? Who are you gurgling underwater to get some peace of mind, Jack? Oh, God, no. No, it's me. It's me. We'll be at the pool. Colin's asking me if I want to wax the chest hair off.

Other people are splashing around. I just go to the bottom where it's nice. Colin wants to wax your chest hair off. There's a video. So Colin's autistic. Most of our viewers know that. And one of the impacts of that is he'll watch like a couple things again and again and again and again.

And he's watched a YouTube video I don't know how many times where they wax chest hair. And a guy comes up to him and says, you want to play wax, pull wax? I think that's what he's called. And the other guy's like, I don't know. What is that? And then later in the video, they wax up the guy's chest. And these guys are, I don't know that Taylor can hang with some of these guys.

Oh, those poor gentlemen. Yeah. And yeah, so they pull it and they're like ah but the way colin watches it he's got his hand on like the timeline of it so it's like ah ah ah so he's like likes the pain yeah or he likes the question with any of the saw films that's kind of funny yeah but it's not just kind of funny. You can't always predict which part he'll get a big reaction out of. It's, do you want to play wax, pull wax?

Do you want to play wax, pull wax? And anyway, so yes, you'll forgive me if I spend a little extra time underwater where no one asks me anything. So that's a thing that happens. Jackie looks outside. There's just a snorkel above the water to colin we've told colin that he's allowed to scream underwater he likes to scream but

sometimes he has a snorkel and we're like no colin no no that i can still hear you you've got to you've got to go underwater if you want to yell otherwise it makes me crazy wait has there been any discussion of maybe like fulfilling this this desire of his and letting him wax your chest that no i'm so not down for that and but then that leads to a whole series of questions like why don't you want to play wax pull back does it hurt does it hurt to have your chest hair pulled out i'm like yes you've got hair on your head wouldn't hurt to have that pulled out and he's like yeah so let's play wax pull wax on your head no your chest and and that's that conversation has been repeated we've gone down this road before oh man i think i would indulge

him i i think i'd be up for it like all right all right let's do it let's do it well tell him it's a one-for-one wax. How is that fair? Straight off. What is he going to... If he's going to wax you, you get to wax his arm or something. Because that would just be a little peach fuzz. Like, it wouldn't even hurt.

I've never gotten any part of me waxed, so I don't know. It hurts. But, I mean, I would assume the longer the hair is, the more it hurts. I think I have a birthmark. You can see. My mic is in the way. I don't know. It's not very obvious.

But hair can grow from it, and I don't like it, so I shave it. And almost no one ever knows. But one time I tried to wax it, and it hurt. And the deltoid is one of the least painful spots to wax how chest or like the bikini area must feel is outrageous yeah yeah i bet i've always thought it was way better when your hair was short as opposed to being it needs to be long enough like it i think they say a quarter inch but you might get away with my My waxing knowledge is being exposed right now. I have no idea.

A razor does fine. Take care of those pesky hairs. What hurts is that it takes a bit of the skin off as well. That's the part that hurts. It's because that wax really... Have you done it? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Where have you... What area have you done it?

I had a girlfriend do like a strip out of my leg one time because i was always like it doesn't fucking hurt you're being a baby about this it doesn't hurt and she waxed my leg and i didn't flinch uh but it hurt like a motherfucker and uh and one time i waxed uh i waxed my bikini area i waxed uh some around the edges just to just to do it literally myself yeah yeah can you explain the process of what it takes you get your get your wax nice and hot and you've got like a little uh popsicle stick yeah like a tongue depressor thing smear the wax on and then there's these special strips that you you press on there and then you you wait a bit for it to you know form its seal to harden and

then you go against the grain and you know you hold the skin down away from it and then you sort of pull and it hurts like a motherfucker it took like three pulls to do my shoulder yeah it works it's like baby skin it took like three pulls to do my shoulder and after the first one i did it with jackie she had to talk me and she's like you gotta like finish you know like like you can't you can't just like to have one third of it waxed you gotta you gotta do it all and by the way it's not permanent which we talked about electrolysis being permanent and i didn't believe it because i was like you're literally with with um wax you're pulling you're plucking the hair, right?

So it must grow back, right? But they say it's permanent and that it doesn't grow back. Because electrolysis destroys the pore, I think, right? Or the follicle. When you pull it, isn't it yanking it out like at the root? Yeah, but it just makes it. I think Kyle knows the most about this. Yeah, you pull it out, but it just creates a new root.

And then from that root grows a new hair follicle. But with electrolysis, it's sending an electrical impulse. They've got special tweezers that are hooked up to a machine that's sending electricity in, and they grab each hair and zap the inside of the hair down there so no more root can grow, and then they pluck it out. See, I was under the impression that when you plucked it, that root was ruined and a new follicle popped up nearby. There's the gap, and I guess that's not how it works.

Yeah. My knowledge comes mostly from movies and girlfriends who were into grooming and stuff over the years. There was this movie, I can't even remember the name of it, but the chicken is like, she's got like wolfman disease. She like lived in the wild and she's covered with hair. She's Italian.

Cecilia. She sounds hot, tell me more. But she's going through that electrolysis process slowly but surely over her entire body, which is like a rug. And you know, that's most of my knowledge. Does she become not a wolfman anymore? I mean, she still has the snout and the teeth. surely over her entire body which is like a rug and and and you know it's uh so uh you know that that's that's most of my knowledge does she become not a wolf man anymore i mean she still has the

snout and the teeth i guess in the movie it's patricia arquette so you know she's pretty hot oh so it's not even real no it's a movie you thought it was a real werewolf jesus christ have you uh have you seen those uh those werewolf twins from India where they grow hair. Mexico. Oh, Mexico. I thought you meant that a woman had something like that and was going top to bottom to the point where they're like, where do you want your hairline to start? Because we can do whatever you fucking want. It's just up here.

Kyle, how many more people do you have that are awful? Yeah, I give this guy a little bit lower than the first person because no murder. But he's still enslaved a mentally handicapped person. Black man. Which puts him right behind, I'm going to say 6.5 for this gentleman. Kyle, is you saying it's worse because he's black? It sounds racist. It's absolutely worse to enslave a black man.

It's worse because he's retarded. I hear music, is somebody playing a video? It's outside on the street behind Taylor. Yeah, so I went straight to the top of what I thought. I've got a couple more, but one of them is the guy who was insane that I linked you earlier, who was groping the girl at the community college because he claimed his hands had the energy to turn her into a woman. So he's grabbing her boobs and butt and vagina. Funny that when we saw his picture, it seemed more okay.

Right? Yeah. Can we show him? I think people are curious by this point. Let me go ahead and look this guy up. So, Kyle, to confirm, this is another guy on your list of reprehensibles, of deplorables, so to speak. Yes. Hillary.

Oh, I have him. Well, I hate his hair. I love it. Oh my God. That's going to hurt QuibbleCop's feelings. My hands, they have the energy To turn you into a woman He's groping the chick He told her he wanted to turn her Into his little slut

I'm sorry You should do that The eyes, the eyes, they're not open all the way Is that a drug? I don't know my drugs that well Do you think he's on something? i bet he's on some kind of drug i mean not necessarily like some people just have yeah you know bad eyes i guess uh and it's a picture you know it's a flash frame of like and he's in the he's in the police station right now i it seems and you know not everybody can be looking

good for their mugshot you know it's it's... It takes a special kind of guy, right? Absolutely. Yeah. Well, how old is this girl that he was messing with? I'm trying to find that information. Yeah, yeah, I didn't see it. It was at a community college, though, so I imagined her to be 18, at least. So, Kyle, you think this guy is worse than the other two? No, I don't.

I'm sorry, I wasn't presenting them in any particular order, really. I thought that the enslavement man was the worst. In my opinion, when you enslave another human being, that's worse than killing them, I think. No, the child murderer is the worst. But she didn't... It's not like she put the kid in a microwave. If she put a crying baby in a microwave, I'd have... She put her in her 325 pound ass.

She beat a child with a metal pipe and then crushed her, him or her to death. Like that's, that's no fun. Yeah. Even my mom didn't break out a metal pipe, you know? Yeah. Just fly scrapers and ruler. The high heeled shoes were always an issue. I didn't like that.

Even then I'd take high heeled shoes and ice scrapers over a metal pipe. That's a murder weapon in Clue. I'm sorry. I disagree. Strong argument. In the comments down below, please, I legitimately want to know, what do you think is worse, this perhaps palsied woman who sat on a nine-year-old child and crushed the child to death,

almost certainly accidentally, or this white man from Conway, South Carolina, who absolutely intentionally, intentionally, every day going back to work doing it more, enslaved a retarded black man for years and gave him grease, like hot tongs to the back of his neck, beat him with belt buckles, called him the N-word, told him he was going to stomp his throat, and paid him an incredibly small amount of money. It was like $3,000 a year or something. That's a very even-handed, non-agenda-driven presentation of those two cases that you just described. That's my point of view.

This woman who we don't even know she did it on purpose, as the child was saying, I can't breathe, I can't breathe. She was probably watching her stories and had forgotten because the child had just been enveloped into her ass fat. Whereas this other guy, you know, we woke up and SIG-hiled to the slot signal right above his bed. Like, yeah, they're both evil, but it's very hard for me to be like,

to not rank the person who beat and crushed a child to death at the top. All right, well, hear me out for a second then. Like, we've all had moments of anger where maybe, like, I don't know if you've ever dealt with small children, but they're a nightmare. It's really infuriating to be, like, triggered by something that you can't punch. And, like, you just have to walk away from a nine-year-old. But I feel like this lady, being as large as she was, she couldn't walk away. I mean, she couldn't get away from this little fucker.

And she was just like, ah, I'm going to shut you up. Sat on her. And this moment of rage, this momentary lapse of judgment in her palsied mind. And on the other hand, you have a business owner, a grown 50-year-old business owner who is enslaving a man. Dude, I

totally understand your point of view. I just don't see the woman crushing the kid to death as a lapse in judgment. Quite frankly, as a business owner, I understand his point of view. No, wait. This guy, I keep reading this article and the same things are jumping out at me. I grabbed her ass, boobs

and pussy so I can turn her into a woman. I asked her multiple times if she could go with him so I could fuck her. He didn't know who she was, but I sat down to her and she was beautiful and sexy. This guy is one fucking tic-tac away from being Donald Trump.

This guy is... I haven't read allac away from being Donald Trump. This guy is... I haven't read all of it yet, but it seems like... He grabs her by the pussy. He can't help it. He's just attracted like a magnet to people. He tried to fuck her like a bitch. Make her married and give him a tic-tac and there's no difference at all. This woman is not allowing any of this.

Neither are these other women. It has nothing to do with it. Eleven times he's been charged with sexual assault. Not charged. Accused. Accused, okay. Eleven times. I mean, we've all been accused of sexual assault. Right? Am I right?

Only when the day ends with Y. I mean, you know. Says the victim said she slapped his hands multiple times touching the breast buttocks and inner thighs uh after this the victim or rice still asked the victim to go with him so they could fuck because he wanted her to be his little slut where where where was this happening like in a bus stop i'm sorry taylor could you could you say all that a little bit slower with your sexy voice because it's it's worth yeah do the raspy thing and draw it out in my in my raspy 1950s losing my voice would it be even hotter if i read the that story again

about the the crushing even better the ruler wasn't getting it done see Kyle but like I I think you presented it in exactly the the downward area because in this one no one was enslaved and no one died it's still horrible yeah no it doesn't it does not compare to crush to that is really just a guy with no game and a girl who's about to write hashtag me too. Yeah, I guess that's accurate. A bit insensitive, but accurate.

Am I being insensitive on Painkiller already? This is my Painkiller already persona. I don't know. Is there anyone else on the piece of shit list um i there was a clown who jumped out and uh tried to frighten a boy and uh but this story is only funny because of the sheriff's department's uh reaction um i guess this clown jumped out tried to scare a kid and the kid beat the shit out of the clown with a metal selfie stick and uh and you know that happens all the time of course it was an 11 year old uh 11 year old boy but the most interesting part was the sheriff department's warning on facebook where they said quote

evil clowns and anyone considering creepy clown activity should not expect to be saved we will not be there to save you if your intended target defends himself or herself and you may face other penalties as well like this seems like bullshit and what i'm hearing from that is that clown lives don't matter and i think clown lives don't matter clown lives do not matter clowns should have seen their ship sailing away in 1908 when the first you know charlie chaplin store dude come started coming out doing actual funny shit like now the clown should have known our ship has sailed but these stubborn clowns these stubborn clowns and their powerful unions are just protecting people who want to jump out of the woods willy-nilly and scare children and if they need to catch a beating from a selfie stick from a scared child you know as this clown pretends that he's not being nefarious he's like one of those male

feminists like i'm super on your side let me get some titty grabbing you know those clowns are like i love kids that's why i'm a clown let me come on over here billy like no that i don't like this one bit not one bit you should not be able to just jump out and scare people especially children and then expect them not to freak out a little bit like of course would you not have have swung at the clown if it jumped out at you as you were a kid i bet you both would have um i don't know i i think i have more love in my heart for clowns than perhaps you do i i i see clowns as people you know what i don't see race all right well something you're terrified of then.

What if a New Jersey housewife with a bunch of eye scrapers jumped out of a bush? That's funny. But you said, I don't see race. I don't see that. I just see the people there. I was thinking. I'm like, you know what? That's a pretty good statement.

I like to think that I don't judge people on those things they can't control. But you know what? You can control whether or not you become a clown. And so when I see a clown coming at me, I don't internalize it as a person. Wow. That just makes you more clownist. I'm absolutely clownphobic. And clownphobic, or whatever that's called, is not –

I'm not genuinely afraid of clowns, but if I saw one walking on the street late at night, I wouldn't be pleased with it. I'd cross the street. That sounds a little clown-phobic. Jesus Christ, Taylor. If you see a clown walking towards you late at night on a non-Halloween day, you don't cross the street because I do immediately. I toss him three balls and see where this goes.

Maybe three rocks quickly run home, but that's all I'm doing. Hey, heads up. There's something seriously wrong with the clown people like like i i don't get it it's it's it's not something that that people are endeared with anymore or ever i don't like everyone like post john wayne gacy like clowns are not in they're not cool children don't like them and there's a huge percentage of adults who are creeped the fuck out by clowns are not in. They're not cool. Children don't like them. And there's a huge percentage of adults who are creeped the fuck out by clowns. Like, McDonald's dropped Ronald. You know, they don't have his ass around anymore. I never place any blame on Ronald.

He seems like a good guy. He did. He's never even stood up from that bench. Maybe because so many kids come and sit next to him. But, yeah, you're right. They really did fade him out i don't ever see ronald mcdonald anymore gone there was the ronald mcdonald house that raised money for uh kids with cancer or whatever all that shit's gone they so they just were like this clown's so shitty

we're taking away the cancer research center it's it's fucking scary i i don't like clowns at all i like i don't know if you noticed, but the It movie was the highest grossing R-rated movie of all time, I think. It beat Deadpool. Yeah. I think it beat Deadpool. I think maybe it's the highest grossing horror movie

maybe of all time, too. I'm curious about it, but not enough to go see it in the theaters. Yeah, same. I'm going to watch it when it comes out. I'm interested. I to go see it in the theaters yeah same yeah yeah i'm gonna watch it when it comes out it's uh i'm interested i want to see it but it's one of those movies that i'd rather watch with either by myself or with maybe like one or two other people in a very dark room like at home somewhere late at night like yeah something about watching a horror movie this popular in a big crowded theater because i've done that before when i saw paranormal activity like when that was exploding and even then like that was a creepy movie but like it takes you

out of it to notice like oh well that was spooky oh but there's 60 people sitting around me like of course nothing's real but whereas you're sitting on your couch maybe there's a creek behind you maybe there's you know a light flicker or something like it just adds to the environment horror movies are always better at home probably a lot of people have this same thing but like it used to be the movie theater was the place you went to really appreciate a movie right that that was where it was at now like my living room's way better than a movie theater it is and i get that the movie theater screen is bigger but it's so far away it's not the same experience as far as occupying your field of view, it's even bigger. You know, in the same way that virtual reality

is actually very small, but it feels huge. And then, you know, you've got surround sound and stuff, most, a lot of people do. It's a pretty good experience. Better than the movie theater. And the best thing, you didn't even mention, you can pause. Like, I don't usually get snacks too much,

and like maybe a little popcorn when I go to the movies, but I almost always get myself one of those $7 half-gallon jugs of Diet Dr. Pepper or Diet Pepsi or whatever, and halfway through the movie, I have to pee so bad that I'm fidgeting, and I know I can't. I don't have time to leave because I don't know what's coming up next. I might miss a good scene. But at home, drink as much soda as you want. Go pee.

There's no way to beat it. The movie theater is going to be even less soda as you want go pee like it it's there's no way to beat it the movie theater is going to be even less popular as the years go by movie theater money is completely wasted when you're on a diet it's like all right i'll take two waters uh so there's a water fountain you can just it doesn't matter two all right that'll be $14. Two sad waters, please. I always order the extra large drink. I often get a frozen drink, like a Slurpee or something, like a cherry Slurpee type thing. Oh, I loved those.

But then I get an extra cup to piss in while I'm in the theater. That way I don't have to walk out. You pee in a cup in the theater? I think he's joking. Dude, that is beyond white trash. No, and I leave the the theater? I think he's joking. Dude, that is beyond white trash. No, and I leave the cup. White trash looks down on you.

Truckers look down on you at this point. I don't do that. You take the cup out and pour it out, right? Yeah, I tip the cup over. You can't leave a cup of pee in a movie theater. Yeah, you can't. As you're tiptoeing through people's legs getting out, as the credits are rolling, coming coming through holding by the top you know

i got piss piss here everybody pulls their knees up to their chest yeah i thought so all right guy the movie wasn't that bad you know how how's fitness can we do a fitness lightning round we haven't done one of those in ages yeah uh who so where you go ahead and start woody i know it might be kind of the same for you it's been mostly diet and i know you're still there yeah so i have not fallen off the diet wagon uh there were some cheats here usually in the in the form of like a bowl of trail mix but i think what really happened is my activity level sunk to like nothing. And then that's changed. Now I'm back on kettlebells. I went skating today, skateboarding today,

did a bunch of other errands and such. My weight went from 197 to one, it actually, it touched 202, but it's at 199 now. It's been at 199 for about a week. And that's also not even, I don't wanna be long-winded about it but that was like a midday weigh-in you know so that might have i might have actually only touched 201 or 200 or something you can add a couple pounds by midday with just even right drink yeah but it wasn't like

the it wasn't like right after dinner like you know my heaviest or something but uh anyway i saw 202 when i was like woody you were absolutely lying to yourself if you think you haven't gained anything. You're not 197 in the morning. That's too much. And so I got back on the disciplined diet, most disciplined diet. And I've ratcheted up my – just as I heal, I've ratcheted up my activity level again. And I'm hoping – I see my doctor tomorrow. It's just Thursday. We're recording this on a Wednesday. So I'm hoping i see my doctor tomorrow which is thursday we're

recording this on a wednesday so i'm hoping i start flying again tomorrow nice that would mean a lot to me that'd be awesome that'd be even more activity so that'd help yeah it's activity you know you're just hauling stuff out into the field and such the flying itself is only i guess it's more than tv but it's not i was kind of picturing like i don't know how much energy it actually takes to run and get it up in the air like because of how heavy it is but something it's something yeah yeah i mean it's definitely it it's active it's just again i i've said this before i put it in the same league as like sex like it feels like you did something but in terms of actual calories burned, it doesn't make you thin.

Have you ever – like when I'm in very calorie-restrictive, heavy-thinking modes, I will do that with sex. I'll be like, oh, I'm about to have sex. That's probably like 120 calories or whatever. And then afterward you realize like, oh, I spent most of the time on the bottom this time, so I really don't get any credit. You're like, oh, no, I probably burned something. Like the actual ejaculate, that's calories. It takes calories to replenish. You start really grasping at straws.

I'm over there spitting in the sink. I need to make more saliva. I was almost all bottom as the leg was at its most broken. I was all bottom. What else are you going to do? I can't stand. I can't

put yourself on your toes or any of that. So you basically just let her handle all the work. It was kind of a fun period, wasn't it? You were like, oh, you know, I would love to put in some effort here. I really would. But I'm going to have to starfish it for the next few months. Yeah. So anyway, $199. shit for the next few months yeah so anyway 199 i my target i'd really like to weigh 190

uh for the new year there's um it's a dumb thing but i just picked it i'm going to this fly in a paramotor thing early january and i would love to weigh 190 edit you know it's like six weeks you got time it's about right yeah so it's i think i can lose nine pounds and does it says six weeks you got time it's about right yeah so it's i think i can lose nine pounds and does it says six weeks no about 10 weeks 18 or oh oh by new year's yeah you're right so it's oh you could pound a week that's about how fast i lost it so something like that so anyway how about you doing somebody else i'm not really doing anything i've been moving a lot of boxes doing a lot of yard work i feel like like every day, I get sore like every day. So I'm definitely doing stuff, but I'm not lifting weights.

I laid like two cubic yards of sod today. Not sod. I keep saying sod. Mulch. Two cubic yards of mulch. So that was a fucking workout. You know, just moving bags around and raking all day. And I patched some holes in the the uh the driveway with the tractor

and then i pushed gravel around so i've been working a lot around the house so is it a gravel driveway uh part of its gravel yeah i don't know how you patch holes in the driveway i was patching holes where like uh some of the asphalt had been like cracked away so i was filling like a big hole in the side of it with like that replacement asphalt and a tamp or something no no I uh filled it up with uh gravel and then took sacrete and put over that and then watered the sacrete in and then repeated that process a couple times until the sacrete filtered down into the gravel and formed like this solid thing and then tomorrow I'm gonna mix up like actual mortar and then go over it like a like it's tile or something and make it look okay. Okay.

Yeah, I'm not a driveway expert. Neither am I. You can tell. Yeah. Well, I just put gravel on it and then kind of just sprinkled stuff with my hose there, and it seems to be coming along. Yeah. I'll do the trick. But how's your eating doing?

Just still living the dream? So much shit. So much fucking shit. Let me tell you, these buttermilk chicken tenders from McDonald's, first of all, they come in this thing, right? Like this crazy contraption. And it's got like pockets for the sauce right here. So you put your sauce in this little holder right here,

and then you got yourself all these delicious buttermilk chicken tenders, and they are excellent. So what I've been doing is I get two combos. I get myself like a sriracha crispy chicken sandwich on the artisan roll. It's got the melted American cheese and the little onion bits and the sriracha sauce and the spinach and that big fucking chicken patty, and I get a large fry and a large sweet tea with that. And then I get the

six piece chicken tenders also fried with a large fry with a large sweet tea. And I put that large sweet tea in the refrigerator until I'm done with eating all of that meal. And by the time I'm done eating all that, my first tea is gone yeah your blood sugar is low again and you have to yeah yeah there's so much salt in there that I'm still a little thirsty after drinking a whole one of these uh sweet teas so so then I go to sweet tea number two and I always finish it off it's uh it's delicious it's a real fucking treat they've got a they got some nice signature sandwiches at Donald's right now. This is what fitness talk is about for me. They've got the pico guac chicken sandwich.

It's covered in guacamole and pico de gallo. That's fucking tasty. They've got the sweet barbecue bacon chicken sandwich. Not a big fan of that. I get that for Kitty. But the sriracha and the pico de gallo guac chicken sandwiches are just – my mouth's watering. So good.

I haven't had anything but water. You drank 560 calories in sweet tea in that meal. I haven't had anything but water since April. With the exception of a couple of milks. That's pretty good. That's very good. No. If it was very good, I'd weigh 190 already.

It just fucking sucks. I don't know. I put milk in my coffee. Yeah, that's true. I have coffee sometimes. That'll help with weight loss too. I bet if you just added an extra cup of coffee to every day over the course of nine weeks, that's a pound.

Just because of your elevated heart rate, right? It's an appetite suppressant. It's like just start smoking cigarettes. If you use it as a meal replacement, if you use it as a meal replacement, that has to be effective. That's one of the things I do. Like I'll skip a breakfast.

They call it intermittent fasting now, which is like... And then I saw this expert on Joe Rogan's show say, like, I try to consume all of your calories in like a 10-hour period. And it's like... It was actually 9 to 12. And I'm like, that's just regular eating.

That means don't midnight snack. If you have your first meal at like 8 a.m. and your last meal at 6 p.m., then fuck it, you've done a 10-hour. That's not that big a deal. Yeah, this guy's not forging any new plans or discoveries. The science behind it sounded new. Like, yeah, you have these digestive hormones or something i'm outside of my depth it was about like not restarting a digestive

yes oh you saw it again yeah i always watch roger yes and it it seemed like it made a lot of sense although a lot of these things that make a lot of sense often come down to the like they they find different ways to arrive at the same answer, which is like eat clean and don't fucking, you know, snack your bedtime or whatever, you know, don't pull up that, that bowl of whatever it is you love and take it to bed with you as you're napping. Yeah. And you also have to remember, even with, you know, like in everybody who gives weight loss advice and who is in this industry of weight loss, they have a vested interest in the solution not being simple. Their business is to make sure that people are always thinking there's new and exciting ways to lose weight that are more successful than the time before.

You know, that other thing didn't work, but we've uncovered new research. didn't work but we've we've uncovered new research it's like well the same way that south beach became atkins became paleo became the ketogenic system became intermittent fasting it's like all of these things share one thing in common fucking eat less it's the common cause they they'll they'll disguise it you know and i'm not implying nefarious motivation but for some of them they absolutely know what they're doing like like try and make dieting seem super, super difficult and complex because the truth of eat less than you put off in energy, that's the actual hard thing to do. And people don't want hard solutions. They want, hey, if you need to lose 50 pounds fast, try hydroxy cut.

If you need to lose less than five pounds, this product is not for you. So your theory is all these people in the they're profiting off not eating somehow off fasting they're profiting off of selling people uh old information disguised as something different when it's really just eat less yeah cut out carbs what do you know you can't get full on fucking vegetables the same way you can on cheese, it's your bread. So of course you're going to lose weight. Usually it's like in my head, it comes down to sort of eating clean. And that's the core of it. If you go with keto, then you find yourself not eating lots of like fried foods and breads and starches and whatever. If you eat paleo, which was, I think the the rage before keto you land on basically the same

food you're not eating bread you're not eating you know things that they didn't have 10 000 years ago and if you're doing intermittent fasting well that doesn't talk too much about that she did talk about things if you don't eat things that create a big insulin response yeah like crackers and breads and carbs it's the same thing yeah they all arrive at the same sort of eat clean, which is... Yeah, I'm only eating things that I can capture with my bare hands. I'm on that diet. McDonald's. Lots of lizards, lots of lizards and crickets and stuff.

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Yeah, I'm excited. Walking Dead's coming back. I'm going to have something outstanding to watch. Yeah, I'm excited for it. I was happy that it was one of those shows that I didn't get into until they already had like seven seasons out because all I did before was watch the first season and then I think I just stopped watching it and so being able to burn through that for like the first couple weeks of my workout I was just

because like like I guess it was six months ago almost now that's all that I did and uh yeah I really like it I'm excited for it to come out again yeah I want to see what happens next in the story you know I like Woody I have uh I want to see what happens next in the story. You know, like Woody, I have... I don't know if you've read the comments, Woody, comics, Woody, but what I did was watch the... I am caught up, I think. What I do is I watch the accompanying YouTube videos where basically a guy reads the comic for you

and, like, pan tilts from, like... I've never heard of that. Yeah, it's excellent. So, like, there are these YouTube videos... Too lazy to read a comic? No, no, no. Look, comic these YouTube videos. Too lazy to read a comic? No, no, no. Look, comic books are a lot of effort to read. It's like adding a narrator.

There are dozens of words per page. Yeah, yeah. No, stick with me here. Sometimes 20 or 30 words in the same page. It's so much better. How? You add a narrator. Wham!

And look, he pans from frame to frame. Careful so you're not just like looking at a whole page and getting spoiled because you see over here in the bottom left out of the corner of your eye oh that guy's gonna get hit in the head with a bat you don't know until boom there it is so he goes from like frame to frame on the comic book and he gives you backstory and stuff you might not know and kind of walks you through the whole thing. And you don't have to pay 100% attention. You can kind of let it play like a TV show, maybe do something else. It's nice. So I'm wondering where they're going to go with the AMC's Walking Dead, if it's going to follow the comics or if it's going to stray a little bit.

I just want more Negan. I kind of like that they stray a little bit. that they stray a little bit that's because if they so I never read Harry Potter but I was told that the movies are very very faithful to the books that they are just the movie version of the books I don't know but if that were the case in Walking Dead then I would know exactly what was going to happen there was a big like question mark over who got murdered at the beginning of season seven now because like their characters that are alive that should be dead there question mark over who got murdered at the beginning of season seven you know because like there are characters that are alive that should be dead there are characters that are dead

that you know that never existed i don't think daryl's part of the comics at all yeah and uh really yeah major characters don't even exist in the comics and uh so the thing is i don't know what's going to happen in season seven and a half, or I guess eight is coming up. We'll have to watch it. And the blonde chick who always had her mouth open, Alexandria, or whatever her name was. Andrea? Whatever. Andrea. Yeah.

Yeah. She's Rick's love interest rather than Michonne in the comics. And she's still alive, I think. No. The actress who played her. No? Comic Andrea just died, actually. Spoiler!

But, uh... Well, maybe, like, as far as the comics have gone, but, like, where we are in the show, where they're, like, dealing with Negan and stuff, like... Okay, maybe.

But in any case... So in the show, She was his love interest, though, right? Yeah, I think even wife. But I'm not. So in the show, Andrea. She was his love interest, though, right? Yeah, I think even wife. But I'm not positive it's the formal marriage. But yeah, the wife, I think. And show Andrea was, no, I'm sorry, comic Andrea. Everyone loves her.

She's like one of the most beloved characters. She's pretty badass and awesome in every way. Show Andrea had mixed opinions. People did. But she's dead. Yeah, she was she was she was the one who blew herself up at that lab right now she got herself into a bad position with zombies and killed herself because she was captured by she was captured by negan

and uh she was uh she was like chained up in that room and And then he let a zombie loose. The governor? Fucking the governor. And the zombie came in. And the zombie ended up biting her before she could kill it. And then Rick and the gang come in. And she's there sitting on the floor. And she's been bitten. And they give her a gun.

And they leave the room. And you hear bang. She shoots herself in the head. So she kind of dies off screen. Oh, OK. What? Well, anyway, I'm excited for the new season. I'm retarded.

How do I not remember so much you know are you multitasking oftentimes that's the case yeah that's the explanation then yeah i don't know i think kyle picks stuff up even when he multitasks and i say that because he knows song lyrics yeah i guess you know what show is is really i don't know if either of you have watched this all the way through i am not all the way through yet, but I've been watching Mad Men on a streak. And I'm in like season three, I think.

And it's way, way better than I thought it would be. Have either of you given it a shot? Yeah, I've seen a couple seasons. Didn't capture me. I actually liked it a lot, especially around season three, like where you say, I think it's a very good show. I forget where I stopped liking

it. Five, six, something along there. Mad Men kind of lost me. I like a couple more seasons. I like the red-headed chick. I can't think of her name right now. I bet Chiz will know instantly because Chiz is obsessed with this chick. What's Joan's real name

in real life? With the massive titties. Just massive titties. She has got the definition of an actual hourglass figure. Christina Hendricks. Oh my god, she's so fucking hot. I think you woodied that name, dude. It's Christina.

Christina. Christina Hendricks. So gargantuan. Big fucking torpedo hooters. Just jiggly. Just want to get my face in them. And ahhh. Not the brrrr. No. Ahhh. Kyle, let me ask you. You're talking about how hot she is. And I know that you like a lot of

body types. But if you were to line her up against like Emma Watson. No. Big titties. Who else is hot? How about Jennifer Lawrence? Not even close. This chick is so much hotter. Yeah, Jennifer Lawrence is nowhere near

as hot as Christina Hendricks. I would take either of those women by a mile over Christina Hendricks. Well, they are much more boy-like. The red-headed thing is great. The really pale skin is great. Those gargantuan fucking titties though are just next level

also Alexandre but she looks fat in her ass like yeah but not bad fat in the ass like good fat in the ass I bet if she walked around in a less flattering outfit I've seen her

she's been through wardrobe on this show i want to see her like getting out of bed with a regular pair of panties that's not so flattering and i bet the two women you mentioned go through wardrobe too they don't need it no those those women cannot look bad in they need it to accentuate some some curves and whatnot like christina hendrix like she's not fat she's just she's what curvy actually means you know yeah man i'm i'm all about that i'm all about that and uh alex i like a fitter woman oh she's plenty fit yeah that that that's just real nice she's not fit i i really think that now the woman around that office jennifer lawrence i love it if you uh if you were like a settler

in america and you just i don't know worked your way out to oklahoma with nothing but a horse and two ox and your hands and some tools you'd rather have jennifer lawrence help you build a homestead than absolutely not no way christina hendrix could fucking put a she could she could do some work that's a woman who looks like she's got some powerful thighs she could squat about 225 no problem jennifer lawrence is an action star christina hendrix jennifer lawrence is a fake action star it's the that's how i like him pretends to shoot bow and arrows and in bad movies like no there's no way she is so much less attractive than christina hendrix yeah big time like and let's equate for age because chis is

showing photos now of her that are not at all uh uh from mad men because mad men at this point was like 10 years ago i think like eight or ten years ago so she was like eight years younger than this like just look up chis can you link some pictures of her from mad men yeah can we get some prime christina hendrix yeah and and this mad mad men pictures these were her like early to mid 30s and so imagine her even in her 20s the the only chick who's out there right now who like i i hotter than Christina Hendricks, to me at least, is Alexandria Daddario. She's just a whole other next level. Also with the gargantuan titties, but much, much younger. She actually looks better in this picture than she does in my memory.

She looks great in the show. She's one of those chicks that in this show, do you ever do that when a woman is so hot in a show that it almost aggravates you or you're just like god damn it like there's no way a chick would even look at me i don't watch megan fox movies for that reason i don't want to look at that i don't look at that no you just go out to shake her hand instead of giving her a welcome hug and then you recoil a bit at the thumbs put you on equal playing field. Chiz, can we get a picture of her ass? It's something I could show to the people.

I don't know if there's nudes around. He sent one, but that was, I think, not her best look. That was a good look, I thought. I was happy with that. Really? You were happy with that? Absolutely. That picture of her by a car? Getting into the car. She's not nearly as

sexy as in the the photo from mad men but she's still hot oh no i think that if you for me in my head if you look at like 14 soccer moms on the field cheering on their kids there are seven better than that oh that's that's bananas yeah that's you've just got a different way of looking at uh the opposite sex than we do i think yeah wait opposite who said qualifiers uh let me see if chiz has any new oh here maybe this picture will be good yeah big fan yeah when i, this picture that he saw, I wish it was a little bigger. That's not the ideal feminine form.

As a matter of fact, I think the chick in the background is hotter. Yeah, the chick in the background is also a very, very hot chick in that show. But I think Kyle and I outvote you. Well, clearly, but I think Kyle and I outvote you. Clearly, but I need the... This is a good... The latest one he linked, where she's wearing black pants, to me represents what she actually looks like. Not the

best wardrobe-ed up version of her, but actual her. Actual peak her. There's just a lot to her there. Look at her arms there. Her arms are thin. She's a curvy woman. She's not fat at all. Big fan.

I think she looks great. Yeah, big fan. I do like this, and I've said it a hundred times, so I'll say it in fast forward. People love this. I like that there's lots of female bodies for people. Back in, like, Christie Brinkley's day, the only way to be hot that is oh she was a supermodel really you honestly don't know who that is i don't know

oh she was a supermodel she was like the it hottest thing of oh yeah she's 68 or something yeah but back at back in the like 90s there was only one shape of hot woman and it was like megan fox uh in 2017 there are a dozen shapes of hot woman and here's one it's just not yeah yeah i mean smokes too and according to the show in 1950 or 1960 or whatever that was also an attractive kind of lady i don't know i just i don't i think that men have always been attracted to all sorts of different kinds of ladies, but that even among women, there are body types that they want to try and get to. Just like as a guy, some women are attracted to men who are a little heavier, but if they could have their way, they'd be like, of course I'd want you to have a six-pack and be shredded and be in a super sexy fitted suit or whatever kind of clothes they like. So it's just – the whole thing's a spectacle. Mechanics uniform.

All greasy and a little rapey. I feel like Hot Guy has always been... We have different images of this. Hot Guy still is... Brad Pitt in Troy? Is that what that movie was called? Well, I mean, pick a movie, right? Pick a movie.

Like Brad Pitt in Thelma and Louise. Brad Pitt in Fight Club. Yeah, Benjamin Button, that's a good point. I mean, if he were a bitch, he could be able to pull it off. And Fight Club is another good example. That, I think, is almost the ideal male form. I picked Troy because I think he's a little bigger, a little more jacked in it. But he's also not Arnold Schwarzenegger.

I don't think Arnold Schwarzenegger is... I don't think arnold schwarzenegger is i don't think many women think that's the ideal shape of a guy i think they do i think a lot of them you don't think that most women out there wouldn't like to have a guy like prime time arnie schwarzenegger picking her up like she weighs half a pound and throwing her on the bed even if they ignore the head right cut the head off and just measure these men from the neck down i think 95 of them choose brad pitt over arnold schwarzenegger no you're you're absolutely wrong absolutely wrong yeah they would pick the gigantic hulking specimen of a human i'm not wrong i'm so right on this i'm convinced of it i realize i'm not voted among you too that that oh that oh women prefer that lithe you know lean instead of that big, jacked one.

You know who says that? Skinny men. Skinny men say that. Women don't bring it up as much because they don't want to feel slutty, I wouldn't think. They're going, oh, I want a big, jacked guy who's going to throw me around. And of course, there's preferences. But as a whole, you take Arnold fucking Schwarzenegger's body and Brad Pitt's body, and let's pretend for a moment that Arnie isn't six inches taller.

Yeah. And let's equalize that. Dude, they're going to go, oh, yeah, I want the body that feels like if my car breaks down, he can pick it up off the side of the road and carry it home behind me. Like, I want him to, you know, they want a man like that. And all of those pictures of Arnold back in the day, there's always, like, when he's with a woman, they're like, wow. They're, like, touching him out of shock. Like they want to like he's got the body that draws them to touch him. It's a really uncommon body type.

Yeah, that's why. Like he stands out as like there's something primordial in these women that's kicking in when they see an Arnold Schwarzenegger body. Like really? Like, yeah, for sure. I don't think so. I like I'm trying to think of another guy who's as fit. they see an Arnold Schwarzenegger body. Really? Yeah, for sure. I don't think so. I'm trying to think of another guy who's as fit. Who plays the Deadpool guy?

Ryan Reynolds, right? Is it Ryan Reynolds? I think Ryan Reynolds gets... I think more women are attracted to Ryan Reynolds than The Rock. Oh, no. No. I think they've both been sexiest man alive, but The Rock right now has the, you know, the gray beard. He's in his 40s.

Remember, we're doing the head cutoff thing here. We're just talking about body type. I'm with you. So do the head cutoff. I still say The Rock for sure. The Rock, absolutely. They want the people's elbow over Deadpool. I just know they do.

Just definitely do. They just definitely do. That gigantic, hulking man is definitely more attractive to the average woman than the, like, fit, like, extremely fit, in Ryan Reynolds' case. I mean, six-pack, eight-pack, like, just very low-body fat kind of look.

It's not like he's not ripped. It's just that he's not an enormous Hulk. Alright, for anyone watching this, we know you're a guy, if you have a significant like he's not ripped it's just that he's not an enormous Hulk all right for anyone watching this we know you're a guy if you have a significant other of some sort ask them who is hotter the rock and this is neck down we know the rules the rock or Ryan Reynolds it won't work on a significant other they're gonna answer they're gonna answer whatever body type is more similar to yours yeah I've had lots of girlfriends though that were like into the rock

like like like like like he brings a great personality he's very no it was the body like they like the enormous person this is even when he was like wrestling and asking if you can smell what the rock is cooking and all that stuff he used to do do this tongue wag that was a little off-putting. I don't know if you've gone back to the old clips. He would, can you smell? And he'd stick his tongue out. I can see it. Off-putting for you, it might be imagination-inspiring for her.

Maybe so. It was a little much. It was a little much. I hate wrestling and the show that it is, but I like some of the characters in it taken out of the wrestling and just their sometimes center stage performances. Stone Cold Steve Austin, I watched a clip of him the other day. Some of them go on to do great things.

Become governors. And leaders of men. And so Stone Cold would always break out the beers. He would do this thing where he smashed two beers beers and like chugged them down and like threw them down and like like he beers were often his like uh uh part of his act and he's doing this thing where he's offering one of the hot wrestling chicks a beer and she's just like nah nah she's like turning it down he's like what and he like offers it to her two or three, and then he smashes her in the face with the beer and makes it explode and downs it and kicks her in the stomach.

It was fucking hilarious. I've never watched wrestling. Sounds like it would have been fun 20 years ago. As a kid, yeah, exactly. So speaking of something that's very much like WWE, did either of you tune in and watch the giant robot battle between the U.S. and Japan last night? No, that happened?

How did it go? Let me just... The technology is not there for cool robot battles. I'm going to go ahead and guess. It was fake, scripted horse shit. Okay? Who won? The U.S. won, of course.

It was the most bullshit fucking fake... 2-0, Japan. That's a good one. Take it easy on you this time. It was such bullshit. First of all, they had Goldberg from UFC. He's the announcer for this thing.

He's doing the tail of the tape. He's going down the measurements and stuff for the robots. The American robot I think was called like Eagle One or something and like on its shoulder is an enormous bald eagle. Eagle Prime! There's an enormous

bald eagle on its shoulder, like a bald eagle's head and it's all it's got like a blue star on its on its like, on its shoulder and stuff and it's like double the size of the Japanese robot. It wasn't even fair. It was stupid. But as you watched it, you could see that at some

point they were like, how are we going to ensure this if we actually have people fighting in giant robots? Oh, there were people in the robots. Yeah, that was the whole thing. You've got people in the robots controlling them. I thought it was like BattleBot, but with humanoid lights. It should have been.

Then they could have actually had a robot fight. Dude, but even those sucked. I remember watching those sometimes on the tech channel or whatever when I was little. I don't remember. The science channel maybe is what it was on. And they would always introduce, like, in one corner made by Billy Gene and his fucking kid.

You know, the Destroyer. And it had like cool crab arms and pincers and like a big saw, and then in the other corner, some engineer who built a circle that spins really, really fast, and it's like, alright, let's see who wins, and it's always just the circle

that spins really fast. Because they'll try to grab it, it spins out like they're all so great. Based on what you're saying, I think I might have watched more BattleBots than you because amongst the better BattleBots, there was really a rock-paper-scissors kind of thing going on. It was like, all right. Granted, the whole hatchet idea was kind of bullshit.

There were lots of things. But it's like, oh, this spinny thing is fucking up everybody until it ran against the ramp thing, you know, and got flipped upside down. The ramp thing was so lame. Remember that? It was just a wedge with an arm that flipped. Oh, not the ramp thing. Like there's many ramp bots, you know.

It's just a tactic that people employ. And then there's spinny bots. And then like here's a spinny bot with, you know, it's getting so close to the ground, the ramp. And some of them were really mobile and some of them were really heavy. And I'll grant you that some designs, you know, seemed to beat 80% of them, you know, and they were just better than others. But it was neat. It was neat to see them go along. And, you know, like, I might have a robot that would absolutely destroy Kyle's and never beat Taylor's.

But Kyle's could beat Taylor's because there's a rock, paper, scissors thing happening. I liked it. So let's watch this clip. So what this clip is, so the Americans, it's a bit confusing, but I'm trying to read between the lines. It seemed like these guys made a robot, and it was clearly a shit robot.

And they were like, this was our best effort. And then they got a bunch of sponsors and some other people to come in, and then they made a gargantuan robot for the United States that's just like ten times the cost of their initial bot. So the US actually brought

two robots. The first one, clearly an inferior laughing stock of a robot. The second one, way overkill with heads-up displays and all chromed out and everything. This is the Japanese guy going against their half-assed robot. Is this a nine-second clip you're watching?

It is. That's as long as it takes. Can we watch it? Three, two, one, play. Fire! Piranha is supervising his and his soul! What the hell? That was it!

Wait, but the American robot That was it! That was just... Wait, but the American robot shot something, but it appeared to just be a fake projectile, like a smoke gun, and then the Japanese robot just aimed its arm at the American one from 30 yards away, and then just drove, and the American one just stood there.

This is the dumbest thing I've ever seen. How does this have 97 likes and only six dislikes oh when you go to the regular video like there's a 26 minute video of the entire event the lead up to this jesus christ no no no like that was just round one like like then there was a fight between like the america prime robot and the japanese robot that went on forever like like it went on for several minutes, and the American robot, they stopped in the clinch, and they gave the American robot a new arm that was a chainsaw. Is this the first American robot, the one that was like... Yes.

This is the shit bot. I see. This is the super lame one. The real American robot that they came out with is literally four times bigger than this. I don't think there's even a guy. I'm re-watching this part where the guy falls back and he's like, oh, that's not even true. Yeah, probably not.

There's nobody in there. I would agree with that. It was super scripted and that cannon was a paintball cannon. The Japanese robot also had paintball Gatling guns, but they had no use. They didn't do anything. Their explanation was they're going to try to block the cameras, but this

guy's got a screen he can look through. Oh, we didn't anticipate windshield wipers. Yeah, exactly. At one point, the Japanese guy launches... At one point, the Japanese guy launches a drone.

He launches a little drone from his uh robot and the drone crash lands on the american robot's windscreen and starts emitting smoke like a smoke screen it's it's just such it's so scripted it's clear that they're cutting and editing and like making this safe at one point goldberg gets up and runs from the fight because it's dangerous to be in the same arena uh-huh yeah sure super scripted and there's a chainsaw going on after the japanese guy is that how he won with the chainsaw arm that was part of it yeah but you could tell the chainsaw is very underpowered like it's got like it's like stopping and starting like like they they they nerfed this thing to the point where it was clear that no one could get hurt there could be no actual robot battle and like none of it was so lame dude chis and i were

up late watching this thing and uh i we were watching intermittently because there were ad breaks on twitch it was on twitch there were ad breaks on Twitch. It was on Twitch. There were ad breaks in between the rounds or whatever. And I much more enjoyed those motorcycle crashes to this. Because you actually got to see some people sliding down the fucking highway at 70 miles per hour. Crashing motorcycles into expeditions and shit. That's entertainment. You mean like you kind of have to assume that they kind of thought people would know this was scripted. Like WWE. Because Goldberg is the announcer.

No, no, no, not Goldberg the wrestler. Goldberg the UFC announcer. Oh, I don't know who that is. You might not know him. He's got kind of a golden voice. Okay, never mind then. Then this is just stupid. I was trying to give the benefit of the doubt.

No. Just really dumb. Like, how could they – yeah, you're 100 right kyle they should they need to just have robots fighting each other with no people inside because i wonder what the robots would be like i don't know how to both define what the robots need to be and have flexibility in it like i want them to be humanoid they can have weapon arms but they should be fighting something like people do, Rock'em Sock'em robots do or something. Because obviously if you take away the humanoid

figure, I could build a, I could think of a robot that would be much better, you know? I'd go with Ramp Guy, you know? And just tip your robot over. Like, I would like it if, like, you know, like, I enjoy the idea of robot wars and robots fighting.

But like you, I would like it to be humanoid. One of the things that turned me off immediately was that both robots were on tracks. Like, the American robot was on treads, at least. But the Japanese robot was, like, on a loader base. Skid steer, yeah. Yeah, like a skid steer type base with, like, three sets of wheels. And it was something I'd seen before. Clearly, they didn't invent a new thing.

They just took some stuff and put it on an existing chassis of some kind. I don't know. They blew this thing out of proportion so much. It's been building for like two years. And if you watched on Twitch from beginning to end, they took you through the whole design phase with them in the backyard testing and trying to make, you know,

testing cannons and testing different kinds of robot chassis. And it was just, they built it up like it was going to be cool and it was a massive letdown. I thought it was so lame. The whole chat was filled up with fake, fake, fake, fake, fake news, fake news, fake, fake, fake. Yeah. Should we get Sam? Yeah.

My favorite comment was, even though this was free, I want my money back. I want my time back. Yeah, I... Just like every robot fight, they never pan out. Because the technology's just not there for robot fights i enjoyed the battle bots back in the day i always like live sam yeah we are can you hear us sam how

are you yeah i can hear you guys yeah sam joining us mid-show hello there my friend how's it been going hey guys doing good doing good uh yeah i just moved to la again for the first time in a couple years. And, yeah, things are going well. Awesome. Yeah. That's good. Were you guys talking about battling robots?

Yeah, yeah. We were talking about the, they had, I don't know if you know, they had, like, the giant Japan versus U.S. robot battle last night on Twitch. I was just looking at Chiz's Twitter right now, and I saw the giant, like, robot duel, so I do kind of know about it. Is this the thing that was on Kickstarter like a year ago? I think maybe, yeah. Yeah, I remember that launching, yeah.

So it was really anticlimactic and scripted? Yeah. Yeah, it was horse shit. This was a Kickstarter thing? I don't remember. They had sponsorships? Dude, Kickstarter needs to get their shit in line. They're letting people try and raise money for revolutionary mugs and so much stupid

nonsense. They need to have a screening process. In the pericremonial community, every time someone crashes, they launch a GoFundMe to help with hospital bills or new equipment or whatever. I'm like, oh my god, is this the international

distress call of you don't have your shit together? Like crashing happens, I get it. But if you can't pay for your sprained wrist, the fuck, dude? Like, why do you have, like... Like, you should treat that the same way, Woody. Like if a dude crashed his Ferrari and then he was trying to crowdfund a new Ferrari,

you'd be like, no, dude, like you don't get a Ferrari. You're not responding. No, I'm sorry. It's not new Ferrari. You'd be like, no, dude, you don't get a Ferrari. You're not responding. No, I'm sorry. It's not a Ferrari. It's more like a motorcycle. That's what I'm saying. That's the extreme example of it. They're trying to get you to crowdfund their own hobby again.

Crowdfunding should be for things you don't want to do. You should crowdfund getting thrown out of an airplane or shot out of a cannon or something like that. The whole time you're hoping that the money doesn't get raised. Crowdfunding has been like a lottery for people with bad luck. That's what it is. Things went really terrible. I hope this thing gets enough momentum to get me out of this jam. That's what GoFundMe has been.

I don't know. Maybe I'm an asshole. Even to a large extent, the entrepreneurship kickstarters are basically what you just described. It's just people trying to better their life in that way. That's interesting. But if they get their shit together, then we lose iDubbbz series, which isn't worth it to me. I have nothing to gain by Kickstarter cleaning up their shit. I've got everything to lose, though.

That is true. There are a lot of funny videos of making fun of ridiculous $60 pens. And I've watched a couple of those iDubbbz videos. And they're pretty funny. He takes on Kickstarter people? Yeah, he just makes fun of projects that are really ridiculous. No, I only follow iDubbbz when he does hate videos on people I don't like. Which, unfortunately, he does a couple of those. There's a bunch.

For debunking Kickstarter, who's the guy with, like, the sparkle bukkake victim with the... No? I'm so wrong. This isn't an accurate description. I've seen that porno, but I'm not familiar with what you're...

His name is, like, Captain... Fuck, I can't think of his name the sparkle sparkles no no no definitely not captain sparkles i'm not talking about him about captain sparkles it's um god the debunked dude on youtube i'm gonna see if uh so he just he just does glitter on a woman's face i I have a Kickstarter right now. I want a pill that you take, and it makes your ejaculate

sparkle. Captain Disillusion is his name. Oh, yeah, that guy's amazing. Yeah, and he's a sparkly bukkake victim. He's got cum on his face. You guys know the video, right? He's got sparkly cum on his face. guys know the video right because sparkly come on his face you know really

hot yeah taylor taylor would you take a pill that made your ejaculate sparkly and confetti like no i'm not doing anything that that was going to make my ejaculate into gold schlager essentially where she's perforating little bits of my urethra as i go because you know what you're going to have such high hopes that first time that you cum, and then it's going to be replaced with searing agony. You just hit on something magical because girls love Goldschlager. Now that's an alternative idea that I would sign on board for. Then in that case, you need something to make your cum taste cinnamony.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That would burn. Now that would burn. It tastes like birthday cake. In for a penny, in for a pound. How is everyone overlooking the pumpkin spice latte idea? That's what you ejaculated. It comes out hot.

There's a seasonal trend, of course. You know, you have a couple different pills. But what I'm getting at is something to make your ejaculate look a little different, right? Like, everybody's tired of the same old, you know, frosted covered girl look like like what if it came out and it was sparkling what if it was like confetti what if it made a noise would it go no no no like those things you blow at a party like that like i want that to happen every time you blow a load like like that would be i would you blow a load. Like, that would be, I would take that. Like, if there was something that would make my ejaculate sparkly or even the gold, you know, a kazoo dick, yeah.

No, you know what you're not? You know what you're overlooking is you're just thinking about it in the context of sex. You're not thinking about it how late at night, you know, Kay's going to be walking around the house, and she's going to hear, like, fucking, a-ooga from your bedroom and be like oh somebody just fucking finished I guess he took his jalopy pills you know his turn of the century

for Halloween I don't like the sparkly idea what do you think about changing it to a solid color like a nice sky blue then how am I gonna know when I get prostate cancer like I want to be able to know if something's gone awry. I just want to add

something to it. I don't want to completely change the makeup of my ejaculate to pudding or something. You just want it to have sparkles in it and taste like Goldschlager. Birthday cake. Chocolate truffles. Chocolate truffles would be the trick around here. I don't know what chocolate truffles taste like.

The slime idea. The slime idea, the nostalgia that some girls would get from all the slime Disney shows that they've... Chiz has an idea that six-year-olds like. Nice, Chiz. I like this.

Get slimed. Yeah, that was... I like this That's a great idea Chiz Wait so Where is Chiz? Chiz just is like Managing the chat? Disembodied yes

Sometimes he throws out Jokes that we can pretend are ours But that doesn't really happen much And often times he throws in topics And fact checks and stuff like that got it yep provides topics he does a great job for us thank you jesus but uh yeah i i i don't think your kickstarter about ejaculate changing pills is gonna do well uh hater i i don't i don't see them who's the market for this? Just any man? Young men who are looking to spice up

their love life. I want to see the Kickstarter video for it so bad. I'm telling you, that and the camouflage condoms, that's always been like, I want to make camouflage condoms just because I came up with the best tagline ever. She'll never see you coming. I just think it's funny, because they're cam camouflage condoms just because I came up with the best tagline ever. She'll never see you coming.

I just think it's funny, you know, because they're camo condoms. You need to hire, like, a British guy with a gentle accent to, like, woo the people and do your presentation video to make it seem, like, classy. Like an Audi commercial. Have them in an Audi for a little bit. Yeah. We know you're always coming. And now we know where you're going kyle's ejaculate changing pills you can change it to something else a catch your name uh kyle's best effort kyle's best effort reuse that vodka kyle's name should not be in it because no one wants to take a pill for their own ejaculate with another man's

name in it give it a girl's name Veronica's confetti love goo what if you could just alter the taste I would like to alter the taste too that's the thing that's the most obvious is the taste

you always say drink pineapple juice or grapefruit juice or something like that I've heard that works. Well, I've heard that on a scale of one to ten, it takes it from like a two to a three. You know, like Jesus. Yeah, because it's not going to get good. If that's the case, I drink no juice ever and I drink a fuck ton of protein shakes. And so it is it must be a disaster.

Yeah. Asparagus makes it a disaster. I'm like I my pee smells terrible like i get a whole box of pecans eat nothing but the bitter part just right before make it absolutely disgusting i go on an all sushi diet i'm on a pecan asparagus uh orange peel diet is that bad yeah yeah well the orange peel might. Is that bad? Yeah. The orange peel might help.

I tried to pick bitter. If it was orange sickle flavored or orange cream pop. That is ideal. If my cum tasted like orange cream pop, I would be eating it. If it was just all the time. I think this asparagus thing is actually feasible.

It would have to be like a prank pill. It would have to be like, do you really want to get your girlfriend good? It's kind of proven to work. She'll never see it coming. And for three weeks following the load, she'll test false positive for hep C. Be sure to take advantage of April Fool's Day this year. Well, if you want to ejaculate more,

it's just a prank. If you want more ejaculate, like more volume, you take zinc. Oh, is that right? Absolutely, it's right. I've heard steroids have an effect like that. It's either just getting... Absolutely, it's right.

I've got a bottle of zinc pills in the other room. I promise you. I can tell. I love that I can tell that. Just by the reflection. Do you do it into a tablespoon and then do measurements to see? I see how much

of a face I can cover. That's incredibly unscientific. Are these even the same women in this control group? What if you hook up with a fat girl and you're like, oh, this coverage isn't great. That's how I knew it worked. When you can cover a fat girl's face from top to the bottom, you know the

zinc pills are working. You can't argue with science, Taylor. This is a big, round moon face like she's on prednisone or something to deal with her medical issues, because she's a big, fat slob and all. But just cover head to chin. She's a Tinder misrepresenter.

The whole thing. And a thick, thick cum. All right. Drip off. All right, I'm having enough of this. Okay, Sam, what is new in your world? The last time you were on the show, you were a 1% pledger and possibly high. I think there's a whole new Sam on tonight.

I can assure you I was not high. How could you not have been? It was more like euphoric, you know energy filled like okay or reality but i mean like maybe maybe caffeine and sugar sound like i mean i i do drink a shit ton of caffeine so that's kind of every day but um yeah i mean basically the last time i was on the show i thought about like i figured you were gonna ask so uh yeah a lot of people curious. So I thought about the best way to like, address it. Basically, what happened then, and I can't go into like a ton of detail about this one part of the story. But I, okay, so what led up to that podcast was basically being like, hanging out with all these celebrities like Justin Bieber and Tyga

and those people and coming to the conclusion like just really having a strong distaste for like what I felt most people were paying attention to in the world um this is the pop culture yeah and so like it's it was a medley of things like that was probably one big that was one big part of it um another big part of it was like simply like i had kind of decided right around that point like there's no way i was going to be doing gaming videos like for my life like it just like i kind of rule i'd been slowly ruling it out since like 2012 This was now end of 2013 and decided I wasn't going to do that. And it was very much like, I'm not going to have this sort of influence and ability to express my opinions on ideas to tens of thousands or

hundreds of thousands of people ever again, or likely never will again. And even if I could in the future, I wanted to make some sort of impact or statement about the way I felt about the world and yeah just and then the third like really big element of this is the one part I can't go into a lot of detail about but there was a company that if I named it in the stream everyone would know of that was going to get into doing a YouTube network. And someone who I knew was going to give me access to this YouTube network that was going to have like $20 CPMs apparently. And it was someone I trusted a lot, someone who had 10 plus years experience in the advertising business who said, yeah, you're going to have access to this YouTube

network. And I thought it was only like three months away. What does that mean, have access to it? Are you going to be a member of it? Are you going to be running it? So just like Machinima has an team and then they have sub-networks like, you know, I can't remember some of the big sub-networks out there, but I was going to be a sub-network

under this and I knew that I could immediately sign up, you know, hundreds of people to this because of my connections in the gaming world. So I was sort of on this high like, oh, I'm definitely going to create this. Like this seemed, if I named the company, everyone would go, oh wow, that's like a, that is one of the hundred companies if I had to name the biggest companies I know of, that's one of them.

And it just seemed like a certain thing. So it was kind of this combination of. So you felt like you were right on the verge of something. Yeah, and I'll be honest, like I definitely exaggerated how certain i was that i was going to make 100 million dollars in the near future because the point like i still wanted to make that point like you should and it was probably a much more salient uh less dramatic uh reputation uh destroying way to go about doing that uh but in the moment, it just sort of felt right. And like, does it stem from immaturity?

And like, is it something I'm not like, I wouldn't do the same way I did it if I did it over? Yes. Would I have done it the way Ali A or Syndicate did it where I just coast along and do YouTube videos for another five, 10 years? Absolutely not. So, so like this middle ground of like what I wanted to do or middle ground between what I did do and what I wish I would have done, if that makes sense. That's the nice thing about being under 25.

The world gives you some do-overs. Yeah. But yeah, anyway, what's new with me? Basically, the past two years, I ran a company that helped brands pay influencers. So I ran an influence marketing software company. I think, what do you know, Ronku, right? Like EA's program, Ronku, where they paid you based on the amount of views they got.

So I actually, with the guy from Ronku, who created that as an advisor, created a company that helped brands like Sennheiser and Skullcandy and Lootcrate and Soylent pay influencers. Got reasonably big, did a couple hundred thousand dollars in sales paid the bills but wasn't really big uh and then decided to close down that company when we kind of realized we weren't going to take it to the next you know stage and that was about

two months ago and now just joined a company in los angeles uh it's basically jet.com for makeup um we're about 12 months old and we're the third largest uh beauty cosmetics uh retailer on mobile in the world and growing super fast and i'm in charge of influencer uh efforts here for people listening influencer is just like the the industry term uh for uh like the advertising industry term for people who make youtube videos or leaders and yeah Do you have a lead-in with some makeup girls? I have a lot of lead-ins with makeup girls, yes. You see how I

cut right through everything, get right to the core benefit of what we're doing these days. The important part. All that matters. All right. I know a couple beauty YouTubers. You're looking good. You're looking looking healthy you're looking real good we yeah i've actually gained like 15 20 pounds

the past couple months just like happy pounds or sad pants not not 15 20 in the past couple months but i've gained like it's just been i got really into cooking it's it's not like happy like yeah happy pounds i guess well as a i don't know if it's all muscle or all fat, I was asking. Oh, no, no. Not that kind of. No, no, no. Sad pounds. Okay.

We've all been there. You can afford 15 pounds. I think that we're going to have to partner up a little bit with my comfetti company because we're definitely going to need some beta testers. And it sounds like you've got the perfect target audience. Target audience. Not to make a pun or anything, but this is going to be big. Big and thick. Big and thick.

Sure, I'll... It's just a pill with zinc and sparkle. Get fucking Sephora on the phone. It's a zinc glitter pill. What does it do? Oh, you wait. You'll see.

Confetti. Write that down. That's the name. Is that going to be in the title? You know when you come up with a great idea? Like I came up with this idea one time as a kid. Great idea. Wonderful idea.

Kyle, 1% pledge right now, please. If you could make this happen. Oh, done. I came up with a couple ideas as a kid that I thought were great ideas. One of them was a salt and pepper shaker that was both in one thing, and it was just the perfect ratio of both coming out because you have mashed potatoes, baked potato,

whatever, salt and pepper, you want them both, but you've got to reach for two different shakers. That was an idea I had, then I discovered, already already been done kids made a million dollars and then the other one and this is because when i came up with the idea it was it was like when uh like digital technology was kind of in its infancy i guess and like uh lcd screens were still kind of expensive but it was a digital picture frame it was one picture frame instead of a whole bunch of them, and you could tap it, and it would become whatever picture you wanted. So let's say, you know, you're a grandmother,

and your granddaughter and her family's coming over. Boop! Now it's a picture of your granddaughter. Oh, oh, oh! Your son's coming over. Boop! Now it's a picture of him. This way, all of your family members think you love them equally without having a whole wall full of pictures.

Now, of course, we're in an era of technology now where you've got a phone and it's just got hundreds and hundreds of pictures. But those are my two big ideas as a kid and both of them just really passed me by. But confetti! I love this is a huge idea, but you had a devious inspiration.

I love them and we're friends. How can I better fool my family? Into thinking I like them and we're friends How can I better fool my family Into thinking I like them Right You're just like sitting in the backseat of the car One day and then you saw one of those billboards That has like the shitty panel turning

To a different ad And you were like ah This would look good in the living room I want to see a television ad with Kyle presenting this idea. You'll make so many friends. You'll make everyone think that you love them. You don't have to love anyone.

It's fine. Well, you love them all. It's just that you're not willing to buy a whole bunch of frames and do all the hanging, put all those holes in your wall. Let's get you on QVC and see where this goes. Do you have nine girlfriends? I have the picture frame for you.

Oh, now that is, that's brilliant. You hit the nail on the head with that one. How did I miss that? I can remember buying, when I literally did have four or five girlfriends, like Christmas time would come around and you gotta buy Christmas gifts for everyone. And I would literally buy the same

fucking thing for all of them like everybody one year got like a diamond necklace like like not something crazy expensive it's like a I bought like four $250 necklaces or something like that it's like why would I buy different ones you know I know women love getting the same gifts as other women. You don't tell them. It's not like they're all there in the same room. It helps them know they're all of the same. It's not like an Oprah special. You get a necklace and you get a necklace. No, but even then, Oprah wasn't giving out all the same colors of fucking Kia Sedona's. She was giving out a little bit of variety there, I think.

That's pretty funny. So you just bought four $250 necklaces for the four women in your life at the time, family and girlfriend. Did they ever find out that they weren't unique? Did they give you $250 gifts? Did that, like... No, I don't want anything from them.

You don't want anything from them. I don't want anything material from them. Exactly. Dude, the best gift you can ever get from... Goods and services. Services. I'm goods. They're services.

That's fucking great. Dude, the best gift you can get from a woman is one of those coupon books with like 600 copies of Free Blowjob or I Will Stop Talking the Rest of the Night or you get to pick where you do this or that. One fucking public. Things like that.

And you've got to hope that you have a respectable lady who's going to follow up on that. That seems like the best gift. That's like a married man's birthday gift. I don't know if that's going to fly as a guy who's dating, though. No, I'm just talking about perspective. And I've tried before. I make my own book and try and cash man this is Christina on it I

don't know I've got this coupon why do you not gonna honor it yeah yeah i uh i hate buying gifts if you don't honor your competitors coupons then they just go to the competitor right explain the economics of this to her yeah people yeah i i've never kyle did they ever find out that they got the same gift as other women or because I feel like that would very quickly shut down the magic um no no they that would never happen because like it's not like they all live within a hundred miles of one another you know it's gonna just this you know ladies across the country you know in different area codes if you will you know just we're not ever gonna see each other

usually I mean sometimes we'll all see each other you know just we're not ever going to see each other usually i mean sometimes we'll all see each other you know there's some sort of special event put together but you know you hope that they both don't wear the necklace uh you know that'd be the worst if like you get them both over and they both got the same fucking necklace on that would be a that would be that would happen because if they're going somewhere where you are they're going to wear the jewelry that you bought them to show that they wear it. And so I can't wait until this happens. It's going to be funny.

It won't happen. And if they're down to like meet up and have a three-way, then they're going to like giggle at the idea that they both got the necklace. I love how Kyle's like baller self is like, oh, they can't be wearing the same necklace. Most people are like, I don't want my girlfriends to meet. Like, people, like, send in the AMA questions, and they're like, how do you do this or that? You know, how do I, like, a guy last week was like, how do I hook up a three-way with my girlfriend? We can't find this third-party girl. And it's, like, how do you even convince my girlfriend to be down with a three-way?

And it's just honesty. It's just how, it's how you say things not what you say you know if you're a dirty old pig about it and you're like sneaky and sneaking around behind her back she's gonna think you're a piece of shit but you've come out you're really honest about what you want and like what you'd like to do and maybe you offer to like do something like hey what would i need to do to make you feel comfortable with this you know use some car sales techniques like you know everybody says no i'm not here to buy a car today. He's like, oh, well, let me ask you.

Just be honest, you know, like a used car salesman. On a scale from 1 to 10. This message resonates with you. Do you think if you just said it in the right way to your wife, she'd be fine with it? Does Kyle's theory here hold up for you? Neither of us would be fine with it.

I think, you know, I watched some daytime talk show a lifetime ago, and they're like, there are women out there that will do all these things that you want. You're just not dating those women for some reason, right? So Kyle, on the other hand, does. He dates those women. He dates all of them. The ones we've all been looking for, he's dating all of them. I've got the whole world supplied.

No, it's not that. It's conditioning. It's part of the dentist system, right? It's a multifaceted program. Every time she hears the doorbell ring, you ask if she wants to fuck another girl. Three weeks ago on the show, Taylor was talking about his Tinder dates, and he said something along the lines of, like, is this really the future mother of my children?

Now, it wasn't like that was an absolute, you know, showstopper on whether or not he'd see her after Tinder, but the thought ran through his head. The thought ran through it, like, you know, I don't even know if this is the girl that I'm trying to go out with right now. No way. She's had, like, four abortions. She can't get pregnant again.

Kyle, on the other hand, I feel like doesn't have that same gateway. It's almost like tautological in a way because it's like if you get with a chick and you hook up the first time you go out, it's like, oh, that was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed that. But then in the back of your head, you're like

slightly turned off by it because you're like, I'm not the only person that she does this with, obviously. Whereas if you get with a chick that you're interested in and you get you know shot down or you just don't you do everything up to sex or even less than that for the first few times then when you get it you feel like okay like this is a more respectable girl and how respectable she's not throwing it around can you still hang on for like six or eight weeks without giving it up no that doesn't happen anymore six or eight weeks without giving it up? No. That doesn't happen anymore, Woody, at all. Six or eight weeks?

Unless you're Amish or something. Like, that's not happening. I've recognized the game has changed. I'm just asking, like, how much it changed. Three weeks, you say? You're saying six to eight weeks? I was genuinely meaning, like, going out two or three times, not even for dinner, just, like, to get a drink.

Like, maybe a dinner for, like, the third one. I don't know. I don't know i don't know it's not a formula you just go play it by ear between one and three dates ish the loose chick that he's referring to that's too loose and i'm not this certainly isn't something that happened to taylor at all this isn't a taylor situation this is just a hypothetical that i'm making up in a thin air but the chick who just comes to your house and then wants you to come on her face and then like has you like feed her come out of a air, but the chick who just comes to your house and then wants you to come on her face and then has you feed her

cum out of a condom or something like that. That chick is a little too out there, maybe. That's not the mother of your future children. That would be crazy out there. You would not want that. You would want to have to buy her at least a couple hamburgers before that point

for her to be a prospective mother of children. Now, are these McDonald's hamburgers, or do we have to step our game up? Is there a tray involved in this restaurant? They're McDonald's, but they're not on the dollar menu. Oh, signature sandwiches. Signature sandwiches. That's how you know she's classy. Signature sandwiches.

We're talking about an artist-in-role kind of hoe. All right. That's what I'm talking about. Get that Pico de Gallo role. All right. That's what I'm talking about. Get that Pico de Gallo role. All right. Yeah. But yeah, it's definitely changed a lot with the advent of Tinder. But yeah, Kyle, I don't...

You know what would be interesting? Your three-way technique, if you don't tell the third girl coming in that you've been taking your completion or confetti pills, and it's just a surprise for her. You would never tell them they would just hear that kazoo go off it would be the shock and awe campaign yeah but you'd be finishing inside them so it would be like when a phone's ringing under a couch. I like Painkiller already. I see why people watch this show.

Yeah, right? Oh, I've been meaning to say this. Kyle, you're about to do an ad? For like three months, I'm like, I'm going to ask him to rate this thing on iTunes. So give us a rating. Help us spread the word. Definitely.

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So turn your workout into something more over at audible.com slash pka. Head over and browse the unmatched selection of audio programs, download a title free, and start listening. It's that easy. Go to audible.com slash pka. That's a-u-d-i-b-l-e dot com slash pka and get started today with Audible. We recommend that you check out I Can't Make This Up, Life up life lessons authored and narrated by the hilarious kevin hart um i would recommend that you that you get one of the lord of the rings books i mean excuse me game of thrones books because still good dearly departed roy detrice is no longer with us roy detrice the uh the voice

of the game of thrones books and the pyromancer, if you go back to that episode from Blackwater Bay. He was the one who mixed up all of that dragon's fire for Tyrion to defend King's Landing. Passed away this week. Real sad story. So yeah, audible.com slash pka. Get yourself

a free audiobook. Kyle, departing from his historical nature of falsely saying that people are dead. Also, Jim Leahy died. That was true too. Look, normally when these celebrity people die, I really don't care.

I mean, you'll feign a little bit of sadness, right? Because there's people watching and you don't want to seem like a sociopath or whatever. But when Prince died or Michael Jackson, it was like, ah, boo-fucking-hoo. No, one of us especially. I felt bad for Patch Adams. He had a degenerative brain disease,

and he was just... We didn't know that at the time. Well, some of us were harder on him than others. I don't recall. It's not ringing a bell. It will for the fans. Yeah, you're right about Mr. Leahy. That one actually hit me a little bit.

Not in a serious, like, oh, I'm so sad, because I never knew the guy, obviously. But he's such an endearing character on the show in his own miscreant piece of shit way. I am. And then really what solidified it is I watched this video of his on YouTube like six months ago.

I know it. He was talking about what he likes to do in his free time and he has a house on a lake. He was talking about how he just loves to cement and build shoreline and make seats and make stadiums. And like not big stadiums, but you know how the Greeks used to have like someone down there standing at the bottom with a bunch of seats and bleachers up there. When did you see that? Before he died, right? Yeah, like six or eight months ago. And it like oh this guy's a big rock like a rock that would be at the limits of what a guy can carry and he'd be like i gotta do something with this and he'd

embed it in cement and he'd do things and then it just it seemed really cool like cement's not a hobby i know of anyone else has a very wholesome hobby yeah the mafia you know okay not as I thought it was yeah yeah mr. he's kept it people in there but yeah it was really neat that hobby and and it is personalized him the way I'm not misusing that word but it yeah it made him into a person that's that should be what personalized means if I would have create language. Yeah. Yeah, that one was sad. Oh, you need your own. Just as back in the day we used to joke around about a whole book

of Wings of Redemption-isms, you could do your own dictionary where things were woody-cabulary. What is the word to humanize him, maybe, I'm going for? I don't know. It endeared him there's definitely work that humanize

are you talking about like personify but personify is usually an inanimate object something that like relatable I got more connected to him after seeing him in that video it was kind of cool I've always loved that character

like I've watched trailer park boys like the entirety of it like four five six times maybe like i really really like you know i i can quote that shit backwards and forwards fucking mustard tigers and all that shit like i fucking love that show and it's one of those shows that like i i binge during like like i don't know about the rest of people but like whenever I'm really depressed and something bad has happened in my life, whether it's a breakup or whatever, I've lost someone in my life, I'll binge watch shows to not think about whatever's going on until it's a little bit number and it's not as prickly and electric in the awful way that it feels.

And Trailer Park Boys was there for me like two or three times throughout my life and so and the people that i watched trailer park boys with like like you know that the those are happy memories for you know that i think back trailer park boys makes me think about people that i watched it with that i'm no longer friends with or that i'm no longer dating or whatever and that makes it like uh better and so like man i really cared when i heard that jim leahy had died i know his name's not jim leahy i forgive me for not knowing his real name but you know i that the because you know the show's still in the air you know there's a new netflix season coming out next year and he won't be in it and i don't know how they're gonna handle that

because poor randy he's gonna be out on the street selling his ass for burgers again like like he's gonna be out on the street selling his ass for burgers again like he's gonna be smoking out there fucking with that big greasy sweaty belly all by himself in the world i wonder what that makes even sadder off the show because i i suspect he pushes it out that that it's 15 exaggerated i that's one of those pot bellies where it's like like some men like i don't understand the the physics behind it like because when i get fat it's like a rounded thing i'm proportional yeah it's it's there are no heart he has a sphere a spherical fat deposit in his stomach it's crazy ball in there like like like you know how like big fake titties that are done poorly look like cantaloupes sticking out? It looks like he got a belly implant. It's silicone

in there. It's so absurd. It looks like he'd have one of those tumors the size of a human head that only get that bad in Indonesia. Can we get a picture of what's his name? Randy. Big cheeseburger eating motherfucker

speaking of uh hobbies we were talking about the concrete stuff i had a friend a couple years ago telling me he got into woodworking and he's like a software engineer at google and i'm like woodworking like really and i like didn't get it and then the past six months i got into cooking and i get it now it's like the most if you like work all day long and then the past six months i got into cooking and i get it now it's like the most if you like work all day long and then you have like something that can do that is so intricate that it requires your full attention i get it now like it's a mindfulness thing it's almost like yoga it's almost like meditation like you can't think about anything else you can't stress out about anything else it's really interesting like when you're stalking a woman and you've got to be real quiet.

Exactly like that. Everyone can relate to that. You have to be mindful. So we all know our mindfulness exercises. What are yours, Taylor? If you can't get caught again, you'll go on that list. You're focused like a laser. It's a two strikes and you're out game.

You've got to be careful. What are you mostly cooking? Like are you really like hardcore into the cooking? Because I know Kyle often watches Gordon Ramsay and emulates those recipes. I've emulated my fair share of Gordon Ramsay. I do like stuff like a chef would consider rudimentary like chicken parm or something like that. That most people can't – most people haven't perfected. Like, yeah. just really classic stuff chicken piccata eggplant parmesan yeah yeah I really like when you when you have dates over or anything

do you ever cook them up a meal cuz I bet that's super like that is like points in your column yeah yeah of course no I reserve cooking just for me just for It's our so quality Is a good enough way for you to get her in the house and you know get her in the house you sound like Kyle It's just implied you know people are free to leave as they wish. At Kyle's, he has a series of corridors. You see? Because you let her into the front

at Kyle's house, and then when she goes to the front, it's locked. And she goes downstairs, and it's a whole thing. Have you seen Saw? The labyrinth. The labyrinth. There's a fucking minotaur downstairs. She don't want to go down there.

And all she hears, you know, she's running around in her lingerie, boobs bouncing through your fucking mirror-covered labyrinth is just the occasional kazoo blast. With the callback. There's no phone service down here, darling, you know? You can get those electronic devices that completely nullify cell phones in a huge square footage area.

You want one of those. What are those called? I can't recall. Cellular jammers. Let me check. The Block and Trap 32. The Block and Trap. You ever see that movie Enough? jennifer lopez is like an abused housewife and she like leaves her abusive husband with the kid gets a

whole new fucking identity trains mma with like a sensei and uh and then like plots the eventual home invasion from her husband and when he finally comes she's got the cell phone like nullifying thing going off so she's like kicking his ass with her hands wrapped and stuff and i think she beats him to death she like beats him to death like throws him off a core a balcony or something like that and uh part of it lately is you know he can't call for fucking 9-1-1 while she's beating to death so yeah he broke into her house yeah because he's after her like like trying to get her back like he hired like a, like trying to get her back. He hired a private eye to track her down. He should have purchased a firearm and made that movie about three minutes.

Yeah, right? That's exactly what I was thinking back in the day. But I think what she wanted to do was kill him in a way so that she would be the battered housewife and there would be no suspicion. Whereas if he broke in and she just blasted him away maybe there'd be an issue when they noticed that she's booby trapped the house with cell phone jamming devices and that she prepared her fists for fisticuffs yeah right gonna be like this woman was just clearly tucking her children which opens up a whole new box of questions she wrapped her head she's wearing a mouth guard she does like that black stuff under yeah yeah yeah that's how it was the movie's called Enough.

It's not very good, but J-Lo was real hot back in the day. She's still looking pretty good. And if you want to see... Everybody likes a woman who beats you up a little bit. That was the full package there with her. You wanted to struggle a little. Maybe.

Maybe. Okay. Alright. I was going to jump out onto that peninsula with you, and I was like, ha ha Okay. Alright. I was gonna jump out onto that peninsula with you, and I was like, ha ha ha, no. I like Jesus' response there, where they show up, and she's triumphantly standing over his dead body, shadowboxing.

They're like, ma'am, this is entrapment. You're going to prison. She's doing an ollie shuffle. For a long, long time. She's doing the Ali shuffle. That pose, the iconic one. Kyle, I just realized you might be the real-life Dennis. You might be the real-life Dennis.

A little bit. That's what my PK character is anyway. I love how the smile just wiped up your face as it set in and you started... He's a five-star man. Do you remember feelings? You guys don't watch Always Sunny? Yeah.

We all watch Always Sunny. We've seen every episode. Oh, yeah. All the episodes multiple times. That's the one I've watched over as many times as Kyle's watched Trailer Park. Same. That and Arrested Development. Any other Arrested Development

fans? No, I never got into that at all. I've seen it all, but I don't rate it as high. Was it take it or leave it for you, kind of? What was the problem? We had an Arrested Development actor on the show. I've heard you, kind of? What was the problem? We had an Arrested Development actor on the show. I've heard great things about it.

You've had? It was the Asian son. Bobby Lee or something like that. Yeah, he was a dick. Not Bobby Lee. No, no. He wasn't very likable. The adopted son? Yeah, yeah.

No, see, he's a minor character but there's an asian dude he barely talks and uh he's like the adopted grandkid or something and and often the the evil alcoholic mom would like will play him off the other kids as if he's the favorite you know the guy right yeah yeah oh okay because i i thought so funny yeah he was on pka or something yeah he was kind of an asshole and then we uh or at least not a good guest at all. And then the recording got deleted. So he's dusting the wind. Yeah, I was going to say, you had the least familiar character on there.

I didn't want to be a dick in case we were all friends. Well, you know, we're not. This isn't the Joe Rogan show. We don't get Justin Bateman. You know what i think i asked him back in the day was if he'd ever had any like or maybe you asked him one of us did it was if you'd ever had any casting couch like sexual advances and like he really kind of puckered up to that like it made me think especially all this weinstein stuff coming out now that that guy

sucked a few dicks to get that role. I asked him if because he was so successful other people pretend to be his friend and cozy up to him. And in my head I'm thinking he's really not that successful. He's like the of the actors you've heard of, he's the least known one. He basically said yes that lots of people

do. He has all these fake friends trying to be next to him. Remember he was pitching some kind of like beef jerky company or something like that too? It was like, maybe it was kale. It was like dried barbecue kale or something that he was like pushing

on the show. Like that was why he was here. It was super lame if you ask me. I was kind of glad that he got a raise to the sands of time. The show was kind of famous. It was something super duper lame it was like the most la bullshit ever it was like instead of like jerky it was like dried chunks of kale flavored that's arguably the exact opposite of bone broth it will actively weaken you make you not read not strong

not have a thick neck you will grow a vagina you will it's clinically proven you will grow a vagina clinically proven kill actually helps grown to regrow according to the bro science i googled but uh and vaginas yeah i remember that that was the episode where my recording failed and lefty was doing a backup and his recording failed too and we just i didn't believe that left i think that Lefty just wasn't doing it and he was like, oh, it failed too! Because the odds of that happening are like 1 in 10,000

or something. I always believed it. XSplit had a bug in it or something where it didn't catch audio unless you started and stopped the audio part of it. Nah, he had to choose between plugging XSplit and plugging in his electric wheelchair and he went with the chair. That's what that was about.

That could be. Maybe that was it. I don't miss Lefty at all. What you're making me realize would be fun to look at, if you could just see all the crazy shit that washed up celebrities end up doing, like all the weird products they end up plugging. It's kind of sad to think

about, but at the same time it's probably led to some some hijinks it's not just the washed up ones like you see like then the foreign markets like where they know they won't be like put on blast like you see tom cruise and some weird like coffee or toothpaste in japan or something it's like tom cruise a coffee is to make you energetic and Scientologist. And they have white teeth. Tommy Lee Jones hair gel or something. Oh, that's not buying that.

George Clooney did some, too. I forget what it was. It might have been hair gel, actually. I'm not sure. Yeah. I'm trying to look up a list right now of horrible celebrity endorsements chis can you get on that too like celebrities who totally dropped off like maybe they were huge in the 70s

and now they're selling i remember when whenever i saw soldier boy he had like a different product like it was like but like vapes was like the staple like he had like two different vape companies sponsor him the two different vape companies sponsor him the two different times that I saw him like just like just like regular like e-cigarettes it's like I didn't realize there's a huge overlap between Soulja Boy fans and it was just like he's still working for Soulja Boy? No, no, no. Is he okay? I haven't heard about him in forever. It seems like he's not like he may have hurt his brain a little bit. Let's check his Twitter and see what he thinks about things.

He was definitely exaggerating how much money he was making when I was around him. That doesn't sound like a rapper. And then there was that insane, insane story of, like, he's going to get $400 million. Do you guys remember that? That popped up in, like, 2015. Just ridiculous claim, like, he was going to get some $400 million deal. But I still think he has the ability to tour, especially internationally in like Asia. And those shows go for $20,000, $30,000, $40,000.

And you can still go to a club. A club will still book him to show up and pay him $3,000, $4,000, $5,000, $6,000. And I think that there might be some royalty money from the couple things he's done with Drake. Yeah, I think that's kind of – there might still be royalty money coming in from movies and shit that Soulja Boy – that his songs get placed in. If you're ever going to do a throwback to the 2008 to 2010 period, there's a 10% chance that movie might have Soulja Boy in it. I don't know how much money that equates to.

I know he was saying a million dollars a month. I don't think it was that. That sounds really nice. He's spending a lot on face and neck tattoos. Yeah. Which is just not a... I've never seen a facial tattoo that i thought was like oh man that was that was a good move i've grown to like tyson's for some reason mike tyson it's still not good you just wouldn't you just wouldn't say anything to his face about

it but you would think like god what are you what are you thinking why would you do that to yourself like it looks awful he's got he's got it just says Lisa next to a soldier boys ear And he's got a bag of money next to his eye You guys know this youtuber Steven Suptix even skeptic no Okay, yeah, you guys all gotta look at him later. He was on source fed I guess but like he he's a vlogger who I think is the first so I used to watch Shay vlogs. I used to watch Philip DeFranco's vlogs like 2008 before I started a YouTube channel. And honestly, since then, I've never been able to enjoy vlogging.

There's never been – like I ended up thinking that content sucks. This guy Steven is fucking hilarious. He edits his videos and he just is a very genuinely funny person. And it's not like watching someone's life. It's like watching a comedy. Is it like a bunch of Vine? Like lots of short clips it's daily vlogging but it's actually funny like that that's the best way to describe it it's daily vlogging but it's actually funny so anyway he and what he he's hired this girl this like cute 20 year old girl in la to like edit his videos and and they give they offer her ten thousand dollars to get a tattoo on her butt there's this like made-up character behind

the scenes alfredo and they always joke about like oh alfredo's really rich and they like have her say like oh yeah alfredo offered me 10 grand to tattoo alfredo on my butt and everyone in the comment is like i thought it was going to be a really small tattoo. It's like the whole top of the left butt cheek. And she got it on camera. And it's like, how do you live with tattoos? Would it be covered by a bathing suit or not even that? Yes.

Oh, we got a picture of it. There we go. Well done, Chiz. Oh, is this not it? Quick on the draw. Oh, she is pretty cute. Well, well look at least it's in cursive yeah it looks like she can take a punch like a gangster or something like that like made her do it like yeah that makes it worse like a guy that she refers to as poppy made her get

it it's either it's either cursive is either like the font of gangsters in in the 2000s or the font of like royalty in medieval times that's it there's no like middle ground to me yeah no times new roman yeah yeah and she also has uh she has alberto or alfredo tattoo on her ass and then on her hip she has five six eight three which call me you know old-fashioned but i think printing series of numbers tattoos on yourself is a little gauche it's a little like uh yeah pin number a little holocaust victim-y like that i don't like that it's love the text she says i think he's joking, but if it is, that's dumb as shit. And just write love. Yeah, right?

Oh, apparently he's serious. Let's be honest. Write amor. I'm not attracted to her anymore. If you want to get cute with it, write amor. Right? Like, amore. Like, put it in another fucking language.

She already hit her Italian word limit on her left ass. Without Fredo. limit on her left ass. With Alfredo. I want, now, he should now offer to pay her another ten to put fettuccine above it. Fettuccine Alfredo. Yeah.

Because that's the coup de grace. She puts fettuccine, then she can't say anything. There's no, like, cool story you can make up for having fettuccine out for you. It's my favorite! I guess it saves time when she goes to the Olive garden but other than that that's just embarrassing pizza on the right cheek would you want to be thinking about fettuccine alfredo as you're taking a row with this gal i wouldn't be if you asked me if i had to have fettuccine alfredo or alfredo i'd go fettuccine alfredo i don't look like i belonged to a guy named alfredo for a period but you're a man and so you can play off like something funny about

oh i don't yeah i see i see sam's thought process though right you know because if you're hitting this and you're like oh you might as well say alfredo's been here. Oh, yeah. Alfredo's property. Alfredo was here. Exactly, with an arrow going to both. Two arrows. It also screams I make bad decisions because you're not with Alfredo anymore. You can tell one text.

The first arrow is older, and then the other one's a little newer. You can see she went back to get that updated. But no, she doesn't actually have arrows going to her ass. It's just how free I am. I showed it to everyone. They saw it. I don't have any tattoos. I don't think anybody on this call has any tattoos.

Right? No. Sometimes I think about it. One thing I've always said is I've never in my life thought earrings, like any piercings, maybe earrings, like actually that's not true. I know piercing can be kind of

but I've never thought tattoos increase how attractive someone is. And very rarely piercings. Very rarely. And if they are going to get them, like they have to be like those Japanese really colorful ones that are like artsy. Like I don't know if you, like Japanese ink they do a completely different thing where like I don don't know greens and yellows and reds

and blues are all really vibrant whereas it seems like a lot of american tattoo artists they're kind of dull and and uh and subdued and and like black black ink tattoos are kind of lame to me when it how it when a woman is really bad is when black people get tattoos it never makes any sense it's it's like what you gotta like squint real hard and you can't even tell what's going on like bill burr had like i know right there's a reason they don't sell black paper right papers yeah this is like bill burr ranted on this on his podcast a couple years ago where he's like god the nba is just a lineup of the worst tattoos on the planet and it's like yeah i guess you're right like You look at it and it's like, I can't tell what

that is. It looks like it's bled a little bit and now there's no definition. Oh, but you're moving because you're in the NBA, so now I don't know. It's just some random pattern. You know what they get instead, of course, is brands. That's the real thing that black dudes get. They get the brand because that makes the skin lighter where

it's impressed and you can actually read it. It makes more sense with a darker canvas. It's excruciating. It's excruciating. I would get Alfredo's bitch tattooed on my ass long before I would just get a star or something. Branding's tougher.

I would rather get a star on my ass branded than Alfredo's bitch. I've only ever heard of human branding happening in the Jackass movie, the original Jackass. I've never heard of it. It's a real thing. It was a thing when I was a teenager. It's a popular thing.

Scarification is where they just cut the fucking pattern into you. Yeah. The only tattoo I ever saw that I wanted was on that movie where Vin Diesel is like the Jewish mafia guy and he's got the Star of David on his enormous bicep.

I always thought that looked fucking cool. Inappropriate for you though. Inappropriate for me. Can't pull it off. Sam on the other hand, keep that in mind. Do you know what a Shonda is, Sam? A Shonda? A Shonda is when a Jewish person does something in front of gentiles that brings shame

upon other jews i was hoping you knew what that what's the gentile the rest of us the non-jewish person you're jewish you don't know what a gentile is your level i like that i'm i mean i'm agnostic but yeah gentiles is it kind of a put down no uh No. I mean, back in the day, it was. Not even a little. Like, in the Old Testament, it was, like, a way to differentiate your tribe from other tribes, you know? But that's what all those gods did. Yeah, it's Google. And thanks, Sam.

Did you do, like, a bar mitzvah and stuff like that? You did, like, the cultural stuff. Fully indoctrinated. Fully indoctrinated. But, like, that's how most Jewish people I meet are. They went through all – of course you want to do your bar mitzvah because I went to one. I'm not Jewish, but I watched. And it was just at the end.

It was like an Italian Christmas. Yeah, where you just – people walking up and giving envelopes to you. Yeah, yeah. I was hoping Fredo isn't going to shoot you in the back as you're leaving. But yeah. I don't think it's the bar mitzvah day. leaving. Yeah, everyone sees the bar mitzvah every day. It's the day right after the bar mitzvah where you're just sitting in bed opening envelopes. Like, oh, this is a good one.

And just looking at all the cash. That's probably awesome. Uncle Bernie loves me. I didn't have a single money-focused party my entire life. Where it was just show up and bring me money. And a rabbi is going to do some cool things. What about your christening? You can't pull that off as a christian just imagine trying to pull it off it's like see you gotta have good money management skills the christening is not as big

a deal you don't get as much money for it but you did it like a month old right so you get that like the miracle of compounding if you invest it properly. Jewish people don't get their money until they're, like, 13. Your christening cash could equal a bar mitzvah if you invest intelligently. They get so much, though. Like, literally, like, 10 grand. Like, if not more. That's bananas. Yeah.

Like, there's no way people are getting 10 grand at a christening. You can get 2,500 or a good christening. I think we got less, but. Yeah. Yeah. You can get $2,500 or a good christening. I think we got less. Can you let that double a couple times? 13 years? Get in the ballpark? Turns into 5? 5 turns into 10?

You should be able to double twice in 13 years. It can happen. I want to see more pictures of human branding, Chiz. Yeah, I was starting to say that was a big deal when i was a surfer the cooler kids would brand themselves i think it said lo for locals only or something like that and they would brand their deltoid and wait and this is in this is in ocean city new jersey right that's where you yep yep that's crazy yeah i grew up in margaret going to

margaret in the summers that's i would think of it as being like a weird redneck area or something like that where that would happen. No, it was the surfers. And young Woody would – I wasn't accepted enough to be branded, but I think if I was, I would have. Wow. That's scary. Oh, Jesus. That would be something you'd regret. A brand. Well, Jesus. I would not have... That would be something you'd regret. A brand.

Well, yes. Yeah, yeah. You guys don't understand how cool I was at 14 in this one particular block. You know, like, where all the surfers hung out. It was, like, my... It was my area. We're territorial.

I'm just looking at human branding Google images, and not one of these look good. These are all bad decisions like in the healing process you can see where they just carved skin out let me find here here's a good image of this this person got freak cubed dude you should be watching this YouTube video getting a sham oh I'll click over to that dude I'm ahead of you. Do you want to watch it together? Yeah, sure.

Let's do a group watch. So, Sam, queue up at zero on that YouTube video, getting a Shamrock brand. It's the one that Chiz just linked, getting a Shamrock branded. Yeah, you can see the guy's head getting, looks like he's going to do his chest. Tell me when you're queued up at zero.

All right, it's buffering. Alright, uh... Ready. Alright, I'll say 3, 2, 1, play. 3, 2, 1, play. Alright, starting off heating up this brand with a large torch. Dude, just that torch is freaking me out. The fact that everybody's filming it. This is a cookie cutter that they're using, I think. Is that what it is?

It looks like a modified cookie cutter, although maybe it is custom. It looks like he has an oxyacetylene setup of some sort to heat it. Well, yeah. Everyone appears to be drinking, so you know nobody's in practice with this. That guy getting branded? Ideal male body chicks would dig him. Until now. He's got a nipple ring.

Oh, my god! Oh he did it! The guy didn't even react! He went, okay okay. That's not a very strong brand. Okay yeah I mean this is a lot less intense honestly than what I was expecting. Yeah it was a lot less um... And they're all

admiring the workmanship of this, the job that the brander did. I'll tell you, that took a lot less... It takes a lot less skill than tattooing. Yeah, it does. I believe on my first effort, I could heat up a cookie cutter and touch someone with it. Wait, hold on.

Like, why do you have a Minecraft creeper? It's all we had. I haven't seen the end, so I don't know how intense this one is. But the guy's got his arm strapped to the arm of the chair. And so I assume it's going to be a little more intense. Oh, yeah. Let's cue at zero. Blair's branding two.

Let's watch Blair get branded. It's only 55 seconds long. All ready to go. Ready, set, play. He's got a decent amount of dislike, so it could be gross. I like the strap. Yeah, it is pretty disliked. He might sissy. It might be too weak.

Let's see. They've got it in a not with an acetylene torch. They've got it just in the bottom of a fire pit. Yes, I'm sure that's sanitary. He looks like he's about to be electrocuted. With an acetylene torch they've got it just in the bottom of a fire pit. Yes, I'm sure that's sanitary. I- I- He looks like he's about to be electrocuted. He- You saw him sterilize- Oh, that's a serious brand!

It just says K. Alright, now let's see. Oh my god, this is gonna suck! Oh, they fucked up! Good, good. Oh, they fucked it up. They fucked it up. They fucked it up. Oh That burned his hold his arms that ain't gonna look right. Oh

Bad they fucked it up bad That is just gonna look like I burn No, he wants a new fucking arm cuz some dipshit just like put three different K on his arm. The guy like... It's KKK now. The brander got freaked out and pulled it off real quickly. And then they're like, do it again. And you know you can never trace over as well the next time. You need a real sadist to do

your branding. I promise you I wouldn't back off. I'd give it to you. Yeah, you're not comfortable. It seems like everybody can talk big about getting branded until the second second that it's on there, and you're like, it's not worth it. This wasn't cool. I shouldn't have done this.

I should have finished school. That one was hardcore. I wonder how the first one will scar, because it almost looked like it was a first-degree burn. Poorly. I bet it's not even going to look like a brand. It's going to look like a burn that he just got from working or something.

Do you remember on Jackass when they put the dick on Bam's ass and they messed it up in the same fashion? He's like, I got a whole crop full of dicks on my ass now. Yeah, it looked like the way Walt Disney had his characters running. Where the dick is slightly different every time I cross his ass.

He's got a dick farm on my ass. That's so funny. Yeah, I'm going to forego... If I ever do get a body modification, it's going to be a regular boilerplate tattoo. I don't want people carving my skin up or doing to me what they do to steer.

Yeah, because they can take a tattoo right off now. They use that laser thing and like take it right off. It's no big deal. She's telling us to watch the one he, oh, this one. No, no, he's got some new stuff here. Let's check this out. Best beat herder live human branding. So we should start at 30 seconds, I think.

Oh my fucking God. I don't want to watch this but here we go it's pretty handy how all these are so short by the way just for the listeners point of view I can see the brand already and it's glowing red hot are you guys ready?

at 31 3, 2, 1, play alright these are way too hot. Audio is terrible. Oh. What's it say? Beat Herders. Beat Herders. What the fuck is wrong with his leg?

Scarification. Is it maybe a burn already? The leg that he burned, or that he branded, rather, looks fucked up. Kyle, I agree. It looks like he's been burnt before. Yeah.

Not branded, but in a fire. Purposeful kind of way, like in a fire, yeah. He looks like Deadpool without the mask on that leg a little bit. He's all fucked up. Well, he didn't have much to lose, frankly. Yet he still lost stuff. Yeah, he did.

At least his self-dignity. Oh my god. There's no way I'd do that. No fucking way. A beat-herder. He's either a DJ or a giant Dwight Schrute fan. It's DJ. That's funny. That's funny with Dwight Schrute reference.

Beat-herder is a dj yeah beat her yeah yeah oh really yeah oh he's he's herding beats okay i get it i thought it was like i don't know maybe a derogatory term for romanians i don't know like whatever they're doing over there like what do you you know beat herder it does seem like something where you, you know, beat herder? It does seem like something where you'd be making fun of someone. Like B-E-E-T instead of B-E-A-T. Anyway. All right, I think that's enough videos of watching people mutilate their body. Unless you want to do the implants. Have you seen those where people give themselves horns?

I have a question. I saw this on there. Your significant other comes down with Benjamin Button Syndrome. At what point do you stop having sex? Never. At some point, you can start, like, I don't know, like, putting her arm

in your butt or something crazy like that, right? Like, when she gets really... Take her little infant arm. Oh, people don't know Benjamin Button was a dude that aged backwards. So he started as an old man. The question is really, when do you start fucking her? Every day

her hand jobs make your cock look a little bit bigger. As her hand gets tinier and tinier. That little baby hand. Until it takes two. Let me get some selfies. I'm going to need these for after you're just a fetus in the corner over there.

These would be good for tender. Just your little baby hand wrapped around my cock making it i didn't know that the teething stage could be so fun so so i think the spirit like my serious answer to this question is like there's no serious i'm curious where he's going with this. Yeah, go ahead. I mean, my thoughts were like... If there's grass on the field, play ball. Different girls mature at different ages, obviously 13, 15,

but I've seen 18-year-olds that are just not in the least bit attractive to me because they look like just tiny... They just haven't gone through puberty or for whatever reason they're just like little boys woman whatever yeah i look like little boys with long hair um and i think that's the way i'm not yeah not a pedophile i'm not attracted to them anymore they're probably not uh sexually mature i mean that's that's where i'm at as long as they're they're still mental i never watched benjamin button but i'm very familiar with the the movie i guess old

man in a baby's body it's uh it's still the same brain and everything so you've got the brain of an adult woman so as long as she can handle sex i think you just keep going that's a really fair point i mean i think the the horrible thing about having sex with minors is the mental trauma. It's not like physical trauma. It's not like, oh, wow. So what you're saying is babies are built for it, Sam. Is that what you're saying? That's what I'm inferring. I'm catching your wavelength. Who said the built for it comment? Where is that from? That's when Woody used to say that women are... Woody said that

rape is much more traumatic for a man than a woman because women are built for rape. No. Stop it. Stop it, you fucking dick. That is not actually what I said. I do want to put it out there. What I said was that it was the mental aspect of rape

that was the actual trauma, much like you did, which is where it came from. But the physical aspect, I was like, especially in cases of rape and such, women – I was like, vaginas are built for penises. Women are built for sex. And then it was a guy, Pone Star for Hire. Pone Star for4hire hated me. And he made a video saying that I said women are built for rape. And then that was the quote that everybody stuck with. But what I actually said was women are built for penises.

Woody and Kyle, and Taylor, if you remember this, I don't know if you are. Do you remember me making a video about Pwnstar4hire? I do not. No. I made a second channel to make a video about how weird this guy was. I do remember that. Briefly, a little. I could find this video, private it right now and make it.

Although I don't know how entertaining it would be. What was it that was so odd about him that you saw? So I can't remember um the lead up because we're now going back five six years but the nail in the coffin was he had this like charity giveaway thing where he was telling everyone to send like all this stuff to his house all these physical items and he was gonna go donate it at like a red cross and i'm like you're losing all the shipping costs everyone Everyone has a Red Cross or a place to donate in their own neighborhood.

And like he was collecting all the money on a central account. There seemed to be no good reason not to like host it through a system where, or just tell people to donate. Yeah, he was like, send all your gifts and cash to me and then I will donate it on your behalf. That was his thing. Like, you know, like Casey Neistat raising the $300,000 for the Las Vegas shooting. and cash to me and then I will donate it on your behalf. That was his thing.

Casey Neistat raising the $300,000 for the Las Vegas shooting, that makes sense. There wasn't an official one set up at the time, maybe. Maybe there was. I know the Las Vegas County Sheriff had one, but he was just saying the Red Cross, I think, was the charity. Yeah. He's not the smartest guy.

Sam, do you remember when I made the Junkyard video? I remember that. Remember Junkyard 129 or whatever when I made that video? Editing together all of his past videos when he took down Machinima? I don't even remember that.

I remember the joke of him taking down Machinima, but I don't remember your video. He's like, come on. I could take down a whole damn company. Yeah taking down machinima but i don't remember your video oh my god like come on like i could take down a whole damn company yeah so machinima i gotta watch that video wow machinima had a network of people and then someone uploaded something that was like copyrighted or something and machinima was actually offline for half a day or something and i don't know how but it got to be that everyone pointed the finger at junkyard i know how oh that's exactly how i know exactly how we were in a skype call

and i set up a whole conspiracy to frame him that's so bad and So he uploaded a video defending himself, but he was angry and poorly dressed. This is a while ago. In my head, he had that Michael J. Fox rainbow baseball cap on or something. He was dressed not cool, and he got up there, and he sort of ranted to the camera about his innocence. But you edit that together, and you have some gold. And that's what happened.

I spent about two hours making this video. What I did was I took his rant and immediately ripped it down from YouTube. Because he took it down after two hours. It was up and then down. He saw his error. He cursed in the video, which is not something he'd ever, ever done before. And so then I literally downloaded his entire vlog library.

And I just dropped everything into Sony Vegas and watched them all. And every time he got to something that I could twist or turn and add in the cursing, I clipped it. And then I made this video. Oh, here it is.

It's still uploaded. Oh yeah, it's up on JD Reed coming back. Oh, here it is. It's still uploaded. Oh, yeah. It's up on J.D. Reid's channel. Yeah, people were calling him. They were upset. Hold on. I'm queuing up and changing the format. What we did, like, I don't know how many of us were in the Skype call,

but it was, like, me and Sam. White Boy was probably in there. Like, a half dozen YouTubers were in there. And I was like, guys, what if we frame Junkyard youtubers were in there and i was like guys what if we frame junkyard for this shit and everybody was like that's hilarious that's hilarious like and i was like let's all tweet it at the same time let's all tweet out that like hey guys sorry about machinima being down my uploads won't be up today junkyard got machinima taken down and so we all tweeted it within like five minutes of each other, hitting

you know, legitimately tens of thousands that were online right at that second. And so we just... And then they start retweeting and sharing and telling others, and they start making videos about it. And we didn't like Junkyard because he was getting

so much preferential... He was like old guard Machinima, and he was getting this preferential treatment in the new COD commentary scene, which he was pathetic at, and taking our spots away. So Wings was in on it. Maybe we'll circle back to that. Want to watch this video? Yes.

All right. Three, two, one, play. I even used his intro. Hey, everybody. It's Junkyard here. Got a video up. It's a quickie. We uses intro it quickie call a quickie don't be fuckin stupid anyway so I'll say about that but I got to couple college kids grow the fuck up call yeah that is that his daughter

yep I get so sick and tired of getting stuck in freaking rumors around all these little damn kids. Be back in a minute. But as far as the way I feel about quickscoping, well... I have nothing to do with it. Grow the fuck up. That's my thoughts on quickscoping, and I know I'm going to get a lot of flame for it. If you're coming to fucking hate on my page go fucking hate someplace else today Not a little one so we threw all those back get the bigger grow the fuck up, but I had a quickie that went up today

And this has to do with gaming as always and the question was I mean shit I can take down a whole damn company. I don't even know what's going on with respawn on top of that I'm also trying to take down a whole damn company. I don't even know what's going on with respawn on top of that I'm also trying to take down a whole damn company I don't know why I've been gone for the last 24 hours and I come home to see that respawns down They picked who they picked and it is what it is A lot of you asked how did it happen? Well, they picked who they picked and it is what it is. I'm mad. Apparently that's what Machinima wants to see. What we're gonna do here is what we're gonna do here and that's the way it is.

So with that I'm gonna go back and do some editing here and try to find some time to take down a whole damn company. And then, oh I still gotta go wash the dog. Ugh. My day never ends. He was so mad about this. With that, even though you heard it once, needless to say. He was so mad. He was trying to get that video taken down forever,

but, you know, he couldn't, because it was on that channel. Did he ever talk to you about it? Uh, he didn't know. He never knew I did it, you know? Oh. Yeah. of course not everyone had an issue with junkyard like his content was super bad and yeah he had a really transparent model yeah so all right here's the deal machinima had a channel that had millions of subscribers which was was like a really, really rare error at the time.

And if you got uploaded to them, it gave you a platform to be popular too. So it was like a prized thing. Also, at the time, I don't think your own content was monetized, but Respawn stuff was. So everyone wanted to get their videos on Respawn so that they could get paid for it. And they were like the best of your best.

I remember Kyle would like, I would go to my car where it was silent so I could, you know, there were better acoustics and commentate it there. And, you know, it would be your best games. It would be the best version of what you could do because it was a place for you to advertise yourself. Junkyard, on the other hand, had preferential treatment. Every piece of shit that he would squeeze out of his ass would get on that machinima channel and you know they were these quickies he'd go in with a team that you couldn't lose on right they'd be 90 seconds long and he'd get like one or two kills and usually one or two deaths

right so he'd get like one kill and a death be like that's a winner like i gotta put that on machinima's channel and then the commentary was just an advertisement like hey You know this is it booyah gotta kill and then there's someone else planted the bomb and we won this quick little game Oh, and wouldn't you look at that? I died. That's okay. I got a good attitude about it Yeah, move forward There's more because it was almost sinister because he was like yeah And then you know while you're watching this go over to my other channel and check out like the other half of what i'm about to say in this commentary and while you're at my

channel you could subscribe to that and see more of my stuff and and you know always remember keep on gaming and it was just like oh my god this is like such a transparent you were just uploading 90 second ads to machinima while other people best to their best you know wings redemption is putting up like a riot shield nuke right xcalazor is putting up like a c4 nuke like like two minute nukes three minute nukes white boys showing you how to get a nuke in 90 seconds like everybody's putting their best shit up there and and like you know we had Dropbox with Shore Wars, and it's just like... I've still got a couple of videos in that Dropbox. Right? Shore Wars still hasn't gotten to Taylor's videos, goddammit.

It's been six fucking years. And you put it in there, and you can see when someone takes your video out of the Dropbox, you know, oh, okay, they got it. They're working on it now. They would... His ship, he'd have one up every fucking day on this multi-million channel, a multi-million subscriber machinima network thing and they would only upload at that time smartly that what ruined their business model was when they started doing 15 20 25 a day they used to do eight eight a day on this channel and and it was like if you're one of those eight you're about to get a subscriber

boost especially if you put up good content if you're one of these new guys with like a, you know, like there were several FPS Russia videos that I put on there that's just, you know, Russian commentary of Modern Warfare 2, just my best gameplay of like a month and a half, right? Like, you know, 40 hours of me gaming, and

this game was the best of them all, and I crushed it, and I got a cool knife kill, and I like it, and I got a cool knife kill, and I sat down and wrote jokes for three days, and this is the video I gave to Shore Wars. I never took the time to do that. Yes, absolutely. And meanwhile, Junkyard has a 90-second fucking quickie that he just shat out, and his is going up there next to mine. He'll get another one tomorrow and maybe another one the next day.

He was a prime target for our aim. Him and Ken Burns always had uploads. Ken Burton. Ken Burns is a good guy. Who's Ken Burns? He does all those documentaries. He does the war stuff.

The moving still picture, the Ken Burns effect. Okay, alright. I'm sorry, Ken Burns. He does all those documentaries, right? He does the war stuff. The moving still picture, the Ken Burns effect. Okay, all right. I'm sorry, Ken Burns. I did not. He is a listener. Ken Burton, he was basically the British junkyard, right? What did he do? What was his kind of content?

He didn't do the quickie thing. You were watching him improve as a player. But it also became clear that he didn't have the same passion for commentary and playing the game. And that was like one of the big tells. Like the real COD guys love this game. They're playing it all the time. The not so COD guys, you know, just uploading.

You know, they play for an hour and they've got an hour worth of footage and they're set for a while and and that was kind of where he was it seemed yeah and he was genuinely bad at all games you know you could put him in like you know the uh the campaign mode of gears of war and he's terrible so it's like just frustrating to watch yeah yeah yeah he was a machinima guy. He used to do the voicing of Halo characters talking to each other and putting on little skits. And maybe he was good at that. But when machinima, when COD commentary got bigger than machinima had ever been, or at least it became the new big thing,

these guys were kind of left behind as the old guard, but they still had that pull with the guys. They were put in front of the new guard, yeah. They were left behind in terms of quality, but they were drug right along through the shit with the favoritism, and we rightfully so hated

them for it. We should talk about the new new guard. Does everyone in here know who OMG It's Birdman is birdman okay so let me just like preface this by saying like this does not come from a bitter place like elite shot and um prestigious key and a couple other people like i've seen like one or two of each of these people's videos. So he's gaming content?

Yeah, no, he's Call of Duty content. Oh, okay, okay. So yes, gaming. Anyway, so I've got no ill will towards new people who are getting 100,000 views per video in the gaming community. There's a bunch of them that seem great. I'm Marksman, I think is another one who's great. This guy makes, like, Alex Jones, Ben Shapiro, Milo Yiannopoulos style, like, fuck all these fat whores who want all this privilege videos over cod commentary.

And all these angsty kids are like, yeah, fuck fat people. All the privileges and all they want. I'm going to subscribe right now. It's such disgusting shit. I know this could turn into anti-Mylian novelist. It's not a political position to say the 100th of a

percent of fat people who don't want to be called fat. That's not a political position. It's just angsty. I don't know. I gravitate towards good people on YouTube. Like, I think, and it's not the most popular stuff either. The most, like Jake Paul, iDubbbz, Leafy.

I don't know if Leafy is still really popular. There's sort of a big battle going on now between these two, like, kingdoms of, you know, groups. And it's not the content of course right i'm 44 years old that i'm not their demo i'm watching like diy channels that's become a thing and then my stupid tractor and paramotor videos too this yeah no one else gonna care about this so i'll keep it fast this, Tucker Gott, he's running the paramotor scene right now. He's the guy that flew to McDonald's. A lot of people know that video. Yeah, he's crushing it.

Well, anyway, he entered this race, and on a paramotor, it's super far. It went from Washington, I think, maybe Montana. I think it went from Montana to Las Vegas, so vertically through most of America. And he's a good pilot. I always knew he was a good pilot, but I figured when he entered this race, he's not the only shark in the water. And he won it. And he's uploading the videos of that right now.

And it's like, yeah. So it's not going to be everybody's cup of tea, but for me, it's like holy smokes. I can't believe he took first place. And I'm on the edge of my seat every day just like, I need another Icarus video. So that's what i cheated right in that in that what the the deal is he was he was cheating he filmed it all he didn't cheat uh but what did happen uh not that it's his fault but uh and this happens every year a storm system moved in and it exaggerated the gap between him and

second place because people got grounded but he was in front of the bad weather and it looked like he did it in five days and everyone else did it in nine but in reality they hit a red light and he didn't but he did win fair and square and it's amazing and yeah

upload again Tucker that's all so I was listening to someone talk about this Facebook debate. I think it was Sam Harris or someone like whether or not Facebook should police news or something like that. It was Gary Vaynerchuk.

Gary Vaynerchuk, who's an investor in Facebook, was saying, he says it's just a mirror. It's just a mirror of society. And regardless of where you stand on the debate, like, I don't, I don't want to get into that debate at all. Uh, really, I think that is a, a sound point. Um, but it made me think just now, like, what could we be a better society if our media wasn't a, um, a mirror. And I know know, like, I don't think Facebook and,

and I'm not talking about this news, like whether or not it should be right or left leaning, just like whether or not we should have more substantive content than I just, you know, got home from Coachella pictures. Like, I think that's like a worthwhile, I don't think Facebook should be a mirror. I don't think YouTube should be a mirror. I don't think YouTube should be a mirror.

I think there should be someone going, yeah, we don't really need this like leafy or Birdman style content. That's just like angry and hate filled. Like, I definitely disagree with that. It's because then you it's a very slippery slope of open it up to. Oh, well, now I feel I perceive this to be hate-filled even if it's not you know and then it's oh shut that down too like you don't have like there are a lot of shitty people out there but that's why freedom of speech is there I enjoy the actual hate I think some fat people hate videos are hilarious I was a little bummed out when they closed down that reddit because it was

what it was a great motivation so I guess like the way you moderate like youtube you think you figure and I don't think it's a bad point, like YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram, they're so larger than life. They are such a large mirror of society that they should take on the same sort of responsibilities a government would essentially in freedom of speech. They should be an open platform where people who agree with climate science and don't have or, you know, that's a bad example. I don't think it's a mirror. I think it's a funhouse mirror, right? I think it takes what you are and exaggerates

it. And then you keep getting exposed to that funhouse mirror and suddenly that becomes the new you, you know? You can find Trump love or hate every single day that will just fan the flames of whichever side you're on. That's what Facebook and YouTube and things are doing. Yeah, the analogy definitely breaks down.

Yeah. I just don't think that the fake hate-filled shit is as damaging as handing over control to a government agency or to a company and say, all right, now, whatever subjectively you dislike, let's say that your bias is extreme right or extreme left, you know, shut down the stuff that you don't like there. Well, that wasn't offensive. I disagree. I felt that it was, and I am the mediator and arbitrator of this decision. So it is like, it's just, it seems really like a bad idea to open that door and start saying that Facebook has an obligation to cull the news. They already do that with fake news and they pick people who are wildly biased to do so.

So I'm actually – I'm not trying to take – so again, I think the news debate is what I wanted to stay away from. I'm saying just less like pictures of your friends' kids and shit like that. That doesn't like – it doesn't create like a more substantive life it might like there is an argument to be made for that's what people want to see that's the only reason they go on there it's the only reason I see

I think what happens is Sam is trying to improve everybody's information diet that's what I'm getting out of this that's the concept I'm dancing around here and don't and it's like a slippery slope i guess it is because it is inherently a little fascistic to want to control the information diet of people in a way to say like oh you you went to coachella that's not intellectually stimulating enough you have to read fucking uh sozianitsin or

nicha and then post a an article about that like it's killing me you sound more and more like alex jones though i'm liking it no i think you're onto something you're saying i should be put in charge of this so like in an abstract like i think this needs to be talked about like in the abstract this what i'm about to say like If you can just ask people, what is the best information diet? Is it a thing that's just going to cause the most short dopamine hits? If you had to choose yes or no,

I think most people would probably go, no, it's probably not the thing, because for a lot of people that would just be like porn all day. like what would it you know what i mean at war would be what facebook is now um i don't know it's not it seems like a relatively worthwhile see see what you're saying like and how but it's almost like that's a societal engineering top down and that always seems to lead to bad things where you give an entity government or corporation control over what people can and can't say and it's like next thing you know the frogs are turning gay yeah so kyle you jump in jesus suddenly everyone's pissed off that woody's in charge and there's nothing

but paramotor videos on all media hey you know what you could be getting a lot more done in this world if you strapped a fucking fandy i always uh i always you know default back to that sort of libertarian point of view where getting a lot more done in this world if you strapped a fucking fan to your back and beat to the winds. I always default back to that sort of libertarian point of view where it's like, you know, make it the wild fucking west. Right? Make it the wild fucking west. Like, whatever people want to put on there, let them put on there.

If they want to lie, let them lie. Lying is part of humanity. Everybody lies and some people are going to lie to manipulate and some are going to... And to manipulate, and that's okay. That's all right. Stupid people are always going to be manipulated. You cannot protect the stupid from Russian lies, because a fool's born every day, right?

The dummies are going to believe whatever they want to believe in the end. You're not going to... Whenever I hear about the Russians meddling in the election, it's not like when i whenever i hear about like the the russians meddling in the election it's like well first of all their meddling amounted to like exposing like truths for the most part there was some propaganda mixed in but it's like what they spent like a hundred thousand dollars or like a million dollars hillary spent 1.2 billion pushing her agenda and that wasn't like don't tell me that the that the Russians are so much better at pushing an agenda that they can get more

done, that they can topple a 1.2 billion dollar campaign of lies aka the Hillary Clinton campaign with like 100,000 or 1.2 million dollars worth of Facebook ad buys. It's absurd. Yeah, it is.

You guys have convinced me. You guys have convinced me on the topic. I just thought it was an interesting idea. No, no, I agree with you, though. In principle, it'd be a wonderful thing if, just like I always talk about, capitalism

is a terrible system. If we could ever evolve to a point where we can live in that Star Trek utopia, which is socialism, you know, that'd be great. But we're never going to get past a scarcity economy, as Woody has pointed out. Until we get the matter replicator, then all bets are off.

But, you know, that shit ain't going to happen. That shit ain't going to happen. Yeah, no, probably not. It's good that we got those poor people in India shitting in the streets. You know? Or our lives wouldn't be so nice by comparison, you shit, street shitting scum. I mean, that is certainly a way to look at the world. You like to know that they're over there eating out of old fucking rims for tires. Yeah, like the fucking garbage pail kids over there. They got a the fucking garbage pail kids over there.

They got a society of garbage pail kids over there. Shitting, throwing dead bodies, and drinking out of the Ganges. Look at pictures of the fucking Ganges. She has gross pictures of the Ganges and how much these people are washing their clothes in it. They'll just walk

down there and toss a body in. I shit you not. I shit you not. it's such a disgusting River that foam accumulates on the riverbank it's um yeah I can't imagine the smell like it would be horrible if you Google yeah you're loading in the energy person dude this is a stagnant water this is not curry curry can smell good. This will – look at that. Look at those pictures. Look at those pictures. Jesus.

What happened to your voice, Taylor? Did you, like, just lose it right now? I just lost it. Yeah, I don't know why. It's one of the side effects of the confetti supplement. God damn it. It's even – I am noticing sparkles, though. He got the lemon meringue flavor, and he's a big fan. He can't stop himself.

He can't stop himself. I can't stop myself. Is there something I'm not getting about this? Why is there a girl in the trash water? Because that's where they bathe. They bathe in this water. They shit in that water. They throw their refuse in that water. They throw dead bodies in that water. They throw their refuse in that water.

They throw dead bodies in that water. They throw dead animals in that water. Shouldn't they be going out a little deeper? Maybe she's on her way. That's where the shit monsters live that pull you down to the bottom. Fair point. You gotta imagine the ecosystem of that river. Anything that's living out there, you

don't want to tangle with, my friend. There's so many flowers in it. I feel like this is a special event. Well, you gotta cover the stink somehow. It's a funeral, that's what it is. Is it really? I'm guessing. They do throw their bodies in there, though. There's a human body.

There's your body. Click that bottom link. I mean, it's a little graphic, to be honest. That's a human being all fucked up and bloated in that water. Maybe don't show that one. Not safe for life. Oh, yeah, don't show that one. This conversation has lost me. I don't know why Chiz is so

fascinated with sending these pictures. Just keep them coming. They asked him for a picture. They say, Chiz, can we get this visual? And then he makes it happen. Okay, enough. Look at that one with the, with the vault.

There's a dead body, bloated, floating in the water with like a vulture or some sort of carrion-eating fucking bird perched on its bloated belly just,

just digging in, just digging in to that Indian meat. I bet it tastes like curry. Can you imagine what those clothes smell like after you, quote unquote,

wash them in that river? Better than they did before. The only thing that smells worse than that is Indian people BO. I sold cars to Indian people before and the hot Atlanta sun. I still remember this Indian father buying a car for his son.

He was so goddamn cheap. He was like, show me the cheapest vehicle that you have. The cheapest vehicle that you have. And I was like, well, the cheapest vehicle that we have is a cargo van that came in yesterday that hasn't even gone through detail yet and has no air conditioning or rear seats. It's two front seats, no air conditioning, and the windows don't roll down. Oh, this is very good. How much? How much?

And we're sitting in this van like trying to get it to go and it's just baking in there like an easy bake oven and i can still smell his bo after he left i went home and took a shower myself just just just being with him made me made me made me smell it was awful have you guys talked on this podcast before about Mark Zuckerberg considering running for president? No. I haven't taken it that seriously. I want The Rock to run. The Rock, yeah.

Because, yeah, it's a scary idea, I think, that he thinks he could be president, that he thinks he knows enough. I mean, I remember I saw an interview with Bill Gates from, like, the 90s where he was talking about how it costs about $300 million to run for president. So he could do it and he might be able to win, but he would never do it because he – I just think he was humble in a certain way where he's like, I haven't spent my life learning about politics. He'd run this country like a business.

He knows all he needs to know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we're kind of going through that case study right now i guess so maybe we'll know in a couple years we'll see maybe zuckerberg well what is the argument for him because i've the only way i've heard him running i've only heard the references like as a joke like oh that would suck to have the facebook guy have even more power like imagine what he would

do sweaty guy who's bad at public speaking like You think that Trump is bad in a high-pressure moment on camera? Get that sweaty motherfucker up there. Is Zuckerberg a good or bad speaker? Terrible. Terrible. I have a missed interview from a while ago with this big tech journalist who got Steve Jobs and Bill Gates

to do interviews together and shit like that, and he just can't talk. He's gotten better, but yeah but he's still not good but he was also a kid like yeah yeah would anybody look at like zuckerberg like as far as for but why is that why is that an argument like kyle like he's a bad public speaker like i i don't like the guy running for president but being good at public speaking is not criteria no it is it is to me it's one of the most important things because he has to it's one thing to have great ideas but it's another thing to be able to express them and explain them to the american people to and to the world in a way that they'll understand and buy into because like you

can have the greatest idea there's a reason we don't just put some like genius in there like like there's a reason stephen Hawking isn't our president. You need to get up there and be charismatic and be able to sell the world on something. Look at JFK. JFK got up there and inspired with his speaking. He inspired a nation to reach

higher, literally. Literally. Go to the moon in this decade and do the things which are hard like higher shelves the moon stepped oh okay i was like literally retired what is he getting it literally reach higher okay too few homes in this great nation have access to step ladders there are a lot of things on that top shelf worth grabbing sort of evidence that people want less and less of that.

They want less of the polish. They kind of see that as fake. And I would argue, honestly, I think the most compelling public speaker who just oozes authenticity and trust to me is Elon Musk. I think he's very awkward. I think he's like – but there's an element of trust where you feel like you're getting like everything. You're getting the unfettered, unfiltered Elon Musk the same way he would act towards his kid, his wife, his COO, his – like anyone. I think there's something endearing about that. That's kind of what I meant.

I think you're predisposed to like him and you're overlooking his shortness. He wasn't born in the United States either, right? He can't. He's not eligible. He's a Schwarzenegger type candidate. He's also not charismatic at all. I don't think charisma should...

I think the same guy that maybe you didn't know or didn't like, you know, if you were introduced to him, you would be like, this guy's terrible. Like, why am I even watching him speak? You know, Elon Musk needs to sell himself to people who aren't as interested in new tech as you are. Yeah. I like charisma in my candidate. That guy needs to be slick as fucking ice. Like Donald Trump. He's so slick.

Always one step ahead. He's playing 4D chess. Oh my god. I would expect the best candidate to be passionate to an extent. But I definitely think there's a rehearsed feeling to people like JFK that is off-putting to me and to probably a lot of other people.

I think Reagan was fucking smooth and slick and he could come off. Steve Jobs was the speaker. That guy was the... He coined the reality distortion field. He could go up there and sell an iPod. Because he was cheating.

How was he cheating? The iPods weren't working when he went up there. The iPhones weren't working when he went up there. He had to force them to do stuff. There was a sequence of events he needed to follow. I'm aware. We're talking about presentation ability here. He set the standard I still don't know anyone who

does it as well as Steve Jobs if there's anyone alive now who can do what he did I'm sure there's some guy on a TED talk who could do it you know maybe I haven't seen him I'm fucking around

I think it's time we get a nice conservative Texan in there. It's been a while since that's happened. How about that Alabama Senator dude? It's been a while. It's been like... That guy is a maniac. What's his name? Moore something Moore?

Bush wasn't from Texas though. It's either Ray or Roy Moore. I think it's Roy Moore. I think it's Roy Moore as well. Yeah, Bush was from fucking New England. He's a little off his rocker, that guy. Yeah, it's Roy Moore. I think it's Roy Moore as well. He's a little off his rocker, that guy. Yeah, he's too far. But I do believe in voting for stuff, and he did get the most votes. So that's our Alabama representative.

You know, we may have a representative who's equally crazy on the left from Seattle or something. I don't know. Yeah. Of course, that's just the way she goes. I think the most left candidate is Bernie Sanders. There's no one who's proposed as many. It doesn't get any more crazy than that. Nobody else was taking their honeymoon in the former Soviet Union.

No other Democrats did that. Have you guys heard about these leaks where donald trump makes fun of uh pence yeah white house yeah they're winning all the gay people yeah i wonder if that's true i'm not as like prone to believe that or so but i think it's just i like to believe it's true i like speaks in hyperbole constantly which is so uh matt and taylor like there are these leaks that have come out and they come out all the time about like what's how these conversations go behind the scenes where like pence will lead will uh someone will meet with pence and then meet with trump and i'll be like

what did that guy make you pray or something like yeah yeah don't ask him he wants to kill all the gays or hang all the gays i think he said he He tried to get Bea Bellaria to hold hands with his family at dinner. It was incredibly uncomfortable. You know, like that kind of shit. I remember, did you ever do that as kids? When you would go to someone's house and like eat dinner with them and they'd start praying and they'd put their hands out towards you. I never cared for that.

My family, when we did pray, it was always keep it to yourself. Put them like this. Keep it clean. We're all about to eat. I don't know these people. I don't know. They always bother me. There you go. Because I tell you what, I didn't wash my hands. I'm going to call you out.

You're both praying a man in the sky. That is like here and here. Doing this doesn't make it that much weirder. But it makes it grosser. And if you're eight, you're praying to a man in the sky anyway. Like whatever. I didn't know. I want to talk about the Pence thing and the Trump relationship.

Bill Maher did this thing. It's almost a five-minute video, but can we watch it? Because it's... Five minutes of Bill Maher? Work with me, Taylor. Work with me. Is he going to be smug and present half an argument? Let me do this ad read and...

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$500 bonus. Limited time only. Terms apply. Alright, check them out. Alright, so let's get this video. Alright, I want Taylor to come back. Oh, he's right here. So it's not a problem. Hey Taylor, we just wrapped up the ads. Oh, you queued up at zero? Probably not, because I didn't send the video. Yeah, that's gonna hold

everybody back. It's sent now. Terrible copy-paster. Chase is right. After all the fussing I gave Kyle. I'm good. Are we queued up at zero? Oh wait, I need to put it on the big screen, too. Yes, don't forget that. All right. Three, two, one, play. Finally, new rule. If you want to understand why America is so divided, don't talk about Republicans and Democrats or red states and blue states.

Read the story, The City Mouse and the Country Mouse. Currently being sold under the new title, What Happened? But the original was about two mice who learn that you're either one or the other, city or country. And the same really could be said for America. When you fly over it, you don't see red states and blue states. You see vast stretches of land where there's nothing, and then every once in a while, a city. Here's Missouri, but every state looks the same. A sea of red with a few blue dots. Now, I could joke about Alabama all I want, and believe me, I won. It's Trump country, but not Birmingham,

because that's a city. It voted for Hillary. Something happens to you when you live in a city. You get mugged. But you also have a multicultural experience. Cities are places with diversity and theater and museums and other gay stuff. I have nothing against rural life, but I've seen farms on TV and I look dusty. Oh, he's making fun of cities too.

Republicans are freaking out lately because it seems Trump is pivoting from these two to these two. THESE TWO. REPUBLICANS ARE FREAKING OUT LATELY BECAUSE IT SEEMS TRUMP IS PIVOTING FROM THESE TWO TO THESE TWO. COLLUDING WITH RUSSIA, FINE, BUT DEMOCRATS? BUT REALLY IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED. CHUCK SCHUMER AND NANCY PELOSI, THEY'RE CITY MICE. AND THAT'S WHO A CONSUMMATE NEW YORKER LIKE DONALD TRUMP RELATES TO. They're city mice. And that's who a consummate New Yorker like Donald Trump relates to. Why is he always poop tweeting at 3 a.m.? Because he's from the city that never sleeps.

He's such a New York guy, he had his last wife delivered. That's funny. That's funny. Trump's disillusion with McConnell and Ryan, it's not really political. It's just that for the first 70 years of his life, he would never be caught dead hanging around with a traveling Bible salesman like Paul Ryan or a corny, countrified goober like Mitch McConnell. For Christ's sakes, the man is from Kentucky. Jeff Sessions is from Alabama.

When he talks, all Trump hears is a tiny little Ernest movie. I like Ernest movies. Everybody get me. They were pretty good. This is my favorite. Scared stupid. My favorite. Meanwhile, Trump has spent his entire life posing with a shit-eating grin that says, Look at all the pussy I'm giving.

I hate how the people rip on Pence for having an agreement with him and his wife that he won't go on dates. Yeah. And this is the existential crisis. Harvey Weinstein thinks it's horrible, but, oh, Pence, what a prude. But he's not a hick. He represents one group what belongs to another i hate to break it to you real americans but what trump likes about chuck and nancy

is there not you his little laugh at his own not point in point he's not one of you trust Trust me, when Trump watches the Beverly Hillbillies, he roots for Mr. Drysdale. And when he tells a crowd, as he often does, I love you. What he means is

that in middle America, he found something he had long ago run out of in New York. Suckers. Trump voters were played for rooms by the ultimate fast-talking city slicker who saw vulnerable people nervous about jobs and the melting pot getting too melty and he told them he'd build a great wall and get their jobs back at the mine and they said where do I sign? Folks you didn't make America great again.

You enrolled in Trump University. All right before this gets all political I gotta run. Wow. Perfect time for me to leave. Thank you so much for having me on. We won't talk about it that much. It was great to see you all in years. Yeah, man.

Nice seeing you. It's good to see you're doing well. Thanks for coming on. Enjoy your political date. I'm sure it'll go great. Do you want to plug any of your shit or anything? No, no, no. Thank you.

Yeah, yeah. No, it's just... Yeah. On to the real job. Yeah, no. All right. See you guys. See you. Thanks for coming on, Sam. Yeah, thanks, no. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, no. On to the real job. All right. See you guys. See you. Thanks for coming on, Sam. Yeah, thanks for coming.

So ignoring the snide comments about, I don't know, all the faggoty stuff in the city or the flyover states or whatever, it kind of resonated with me how Trump is a city guy and doesn't relate to a lot of the people that are on his team. Like that was the thing that I was, that was like the takeaway I got from it.

You know, I bet he doesn't sync with Jeff Sessions, Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell, because like when he's like, oh, they would never hang out with a traveling Bible salesman like Paul Ryan or Kentucky guy like Mitch McConnell. It was like, ah, you know what? He might not be crazy about that. I don't know that Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell are necessarily those things. You know, these are both like multimillionaire politicians, aka professional liars. Like, I don't think that they are synonymous with middle America or rural America any more than Nancy Pelosi is.

Like, they're all the same ilk, the same political group. They're all in their same elite little club. I didn't say they weren't elite. I said one was a Kentucky guy and that was his background and the other was a traveling Bible salesman. Trump really did spend a lifetime

bragging about all the pussy he gets and that makes him very different than Pence. the way he framed it is intentionally misleading oh paul ryan this traveling bible salesman he's buying he's being hyperbolic to try and push the point through but the point is only you know what i bet i bet he wouldn't hang out with these people for real am i right am i right audience clap at me like I just dislike it because it's the exact same thing that every, like, every single late night host has the exact same opinions. They all endorse the same candidate. They all believe the same things.

They all just say in parrot the same points. Again, their audience love it because they know who they're pandering to. But that's not a counter to his point in the slightest. That's just an ad hominem attack, right? No, no, no. Because, well, his is an ad hominem attack. Oh, he's no because well his is that i'm gonna ad hominem attack oh he's a bible salesman in this i bet i bet they would never hang out in real life that was his whole point it was just a smug you've been rubed and my evidence for this is that i don't think these people i don't think these people would would have

hang out you know and bill maher grand arbiter of knowledge you know i mean he looked down and smugly smiled and giggled at his own joke. So clearly he's smart enough to know he's correct. He delivers things in a way that is so unpalatable to people who don't already believe 100% of what he says that it doesn't actually change anyone's mind. Nothing changes anybody's mind. Everybody's mind is so firmly set. I haven't seen anyone listen to a comedian or a TV show or a news report. You can present people with actual facts and they still say, I view your fact check with suspicion.

All the fact check sites are biased. But they are, right? Is that where we're headed? And his evidence for this whole thing is Trump working with the Democrats as if the reason he's working with them is because they're easier to socialize with and get along with when, in fact's just it's it's all about politics and getting things through congress it's not like he worked with chuck schumer or chuck schumer nancy pelosi because like they they get his jokes and they have a good old time or anything and they now that's an effective counter right that's not about laughing at his own jokes i think you bring

up a good point um but i i did watch it and maybe because I was predisposed to think that way anyway, it was like, oh, you know what? Yeah, I bet Trump does have a hard time relating to a lot of other Republicans because he did endear himself more to blue collar workers in Michigan, in Wisconsin, you know, in those Rust Belt states in Pennsylvania, you know, Eastern or Western Pennsylvania, like he won those people. And that's how he won the election, because she ignored that part of the country. She thought she had it in the bag. And so that's actual tangible evidence that flies in the face of this that, oh, these voters, you know, don't believe the evidence that these states that just previously voted for Obama twice in a row, that those same people voted for Trump. No, they're just rubes. He wouldn't want to talk to you in a bar or a diner.

And maybe that's true. It just doesn't seem to be an argument that has any – Probably neither one would. Yeah, probably neither one. If I saw Chuck Schumer or Nancy Pelosi or Donald Trump at a bar, I don't think that any of them would be a lot of fun to talk to because I think that all of them would talk about themselves 100% of the time. Which one would you want to hang out most? We talked about it. Sessions, Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell, Trump, and Hillary.

Trump because I feel like he might be the one closest that he'll be trying to impress you. He doesn't drink, but maybe he's just so high on his own supply that he starts spilling secrets about Area 51 or something. None of the other ones are going to impress you. He doesn't drink, but maybe he's just so high on his own supply that he starts spilling secrets about Area 51 or something. None of the other ones are going to do that. I've got great intelligence. You want to hear some of my great intelligence? I've got the best intelligence.

You know what, Donald? I heard they didn't even tell you everything about Area 51. Oh, they would say that, wouldn't they? Well, let me tell you this. You want to go? Let's go. You haven't even begun to know until you're asking about Area 54. Two in between, not even going to get started on it. Yeah, who would you pick, Woody?

I think it'd have to be Trump. I can't think of anyone else I want to spend time with. And not that I... Trump and I wouldn't get along for very long. I think he'd find me to be like Pence or Ryan in Bill Maher's description. Straight edge. Yeah. I don't drink, but I think I wouldn't be much fun,

and I wouldn't find him to be much fun. But Mitch McConnell, Paul Ryan, Mike Pence, oh, my God. Well, Mike Pence's wife would have to be there, too. Yeah. When they drag me to family events I don't want to go to, those people are better than those people. I just want to jiggle that Mitch McConnell turkey neck a little. So maybe I hang out with him.

Just want to play with it a little, flick it, see how solid it is. He looks way more like a turtle than taylor does an owl yeah he's got it's the nose too a very turtley nose and neck and here's something telling i bet the the person we'd least want to hang out with hillary clinton oh i can't imagine wanting to hang out i know i think mitch mcconnell's at the bottom of my list. Jeff Sessions, I watched him get interviewed today. That guy... I think Hillary might actually be

better than upper half. No. I like Mitch McConnell. I think Mitch McConnell's probably got... He's so old and from Kentucky that I think he might actually be a little bit of a small town like kind of guy like he might be grounded enough that you could I bet that guy fishes you know

what I mean like that's that's what I take from him like sometimes Woody sometimes Woody looks at somebody like ah yeah I bet he's a good family man and he's got a golden Labrador and I bet that on weekend yeah yeah you'll like like these conclusions. Just looking at somebody extrapolate things from them. That's what I extrapolate from Mitch McConnell is that he's so old and from Kentucky that like I picture him as like a bass fisherman who's like or like someone who's a fly fisherman who ties his own lures or something in his spare time with those magnifying glasses. Who's like a little down to earth so like trump then mitch mcconnell then paul ryan then hillary clinton i guess and i get and i agree with you jeff sessions seems like a fucking monster jeff sessions seems like one of those x files villains who like gets past molder and scully by having a good story and then he goes in his dark bathroom and like peels his face off and he's a he having a good story, and then he goes in his dark bathroom and peels his

face off, and he's a lizard man or something. My list goes Trump, then Hillary, then Paul Ryan, then Mitch... Probably Jeff Sessions and Mitch McConnell is the one I'm least interested in. I'd rather... I know homeless people I'd rather hang out with than Hillary Clinton.

You know homeless people? I rather hang out with than Hillary Clinton. You know homeless people? I know of them. I'd walk up and say hi. And have a conversation about them when they're lying about being a veteran or whatever they do. Yeah. Oh, I love the Stolen Valor videos. We watched a bunch of those.

Dude, I tell you, I saw a homeless person recently. He accosted me for some money. And he was moving back and forth. And so that's always a sign that he's not 100% sober. He's a little hyped up, but he's got to stand still long enough to talk to you and see if you got any cash. And he was going back and forth. He's like, you know, man, I'm not going to lie to you. I'm on the streets. I've been on the streets. I know the streets. I'm in the Navy. He went like this. He went, I was in the Navy or the Marines. He went, I was in the Navy. Or the Marines.

He said, I was in the Marines. And you know how usually a Marine will be like, there you go. See my Marine tattoo or whatever? He just went like this. He just went, I'm in the Marines. He just fanned his sleeve up a tiny bit and put it right back down. And I was like, you didn't show me your tattoo at all. You just, I'm in the Marines.

Without moving the sleeve up from the marines and eventually i was just like no dude i don't got anything like there's a sandwich place on the corner you want me to get you a sandwich it's like nah it's like all right well then this is the end of this conversation like no if you offer a homeless person food and try this try this offer homeless people food a hundred percent okay i'll be i'll be realistic 95 of the time they will say no because they're looking for drugs alcohol cigarettes something to do like they don't want food like they'll almost be like nah man no that happened to me just last night or no two nights ago i was uh i went on a tinder date and i was walking i walked a girl to her car and i was

walking back and a homeless gentleman accosted me. He's like, started asking me for money. I said, I got no cash. You know, I got a card. We can go right there and I'll get you the head. Like, like maybe it was ice cream or sandwich. I probably didn't have ice cream, whatever. Like you want to get ice cream or sandwich? No. All right. Then fuck off. Like Jesus Christ. That drives me crazy. It's like, so you really are just a drug addict out here turning down free food. Did you ever you're not you're clearly not very industrious. Did you think you might be able to parlay this footlong subway sandwich into something else on the streets? You know, maybe that's a crack rock hit. Maybe that's a

little bit of weed, whatever you're looking for, man. You know, meth. I don't know. It was just I hate that when you when you offer food to a homeless person and they they say no yeah i see that all the time because my my dad is the first one to like help out uh someone who looks like they're down on their luck like there's some guy in a wheelchair we were in we were in athens a few weeks ago and there was this guy in a wheelchair with like not all of his legs i don't remember if he had one one or none but uh he had the whole folded up under him kind of thing going on and uh we were outside of a hardy's and uh we just had gone through so we had like the food in the bag and uh and he was like hey hey man how's it going he's like you want you want a burger and fries he's like hell no and

just kept going i was like what the fuck what the fuck he did not want that burger and fries at all like he just just i but he's always uh the first one to help the animals and fucking hobos like i saw him do this one thing to like protect the guy's pride i guess where like he was like sir sir you dropped this and like gives the guy a 20 and he's like i didn't drop that you a good man sir you a good man he no, no, you dropped that back there. He gives him the 20 or whatever. I went over there yesterday. He's got a dog with broken legs on the entire left side. It's got a cast on both of its left legs, front and back,

and it's running around on just two legs just fine. It was freaky. The dog's got one front right leg, one back right leg, and it's hopping along on these two little bipods type situation with the others and Cass. I told him he's got to get

pet insurance. You know when you get car insurance and you've got a lot of cars, you get fleet insurance. I told him he needs pack insurance. What's he restoring now? I don't think he's working on anything right now. fleet insurance. I told him he needs pack insurance. What's he restoring now? I don't think he's working on anything right now. That Chevelle's just about done.

Yeah, the Chevelle's just about done. I think it's gone away to get the interior and headliner put in, but lately he's been remodeling his shop. He got the ceiling dropped down and put in a paint booth in there so he could paint a little bit better. He's getting tongue and groove board put in a paint booth in there so he could paint a little bit better and uh he's getting uh like tongue and groove board put in rather than like the uh i don't know whatever

kind of cheap just particle board he had in there before he stopped working on that man cave right like what state was it yeah well that wasn't necessary at all right because he divorced my mom and and now the house is his but it doesn't have have Tyvek wrap on it and just called it good. No, no. I haven't walked in there in a while. But last time I went in there, the rocks were all sheet rocked up. And drywall. And the ceilings were done. And the wiring was all ran.

The plumbing was all ran. It just needed a sink, a toilet thrown in, some interior doors, and the outlets. And flooring because it was concrete. So it was like 80-85% done. But that was completely unnecessary after my mom left.

And he got on his plenty of fish. He stayed in the house? Who moved? My mom. Your mom moved. Okay. yeah yeah it's his house so now he's got lots of plenty of fish gals come on yeah yeah he's just he's just all about that like uh just just all the time just got got got some ladies going on um they're traveling down to him or he's traveling off to them like i'll uh you know i talked to him about just about every day and i'll call him and you know it'd be eight o'clock nine o'clock

at nine they're like what's going on dad he's like uh coming back from atlanta from seeing old girl like he's driving like two hours like each way to go go see some lady um he is he uh is he looking for a next wife or is he all about just trying to have some fun in his later years? Yeah, definitely just having some fun. I seriously doubt he has any interest in a new wife or anything. That wouldn't make any sense to me. Yeah, there's no upside to that, as Chiz just said. I wouldn't imagine he'd ever do that again.

I certainly hope he wouldn't be that foolish. I don't think so at all. I don't talk to him about that specifically, but I can't imagine that he's looking for that. Yeah, he's like in his 60s. Yeah. So that ship has sailed a bit. Yeah. I'd say so. It just wouldn't make

any sense either. I don't know why he would. I'm sure it like you know he was married for 25 years or something like that and just locked down so i'm sure he's loving just playing the uh playing the field right now and like running around with all these like 45 to 55 year old women which is he showed me a picture of one the other day and she looked pretty damn good like if you're if you're in your 60s your mid-60s 30 or 45 is a spring chicken she looked good like like like like i'm not saying that i would have fucked this lady but but but she was a nice looking

lady like like like she uh you know i don't blonde hair, big boobs, and she wasn't overweight. And she was attractive, you know, for just killing it as far as I'm concerned. You know, he's doing a real good job over there. I think he lies on his Plenty of Fish, says he's like 59 or something like that. To be younger. Yeah, I went over there the other day, and I was like, I was signing him up for like, I don't know what it was. It was like Friends and friends or something like that and he and uh and i went to put his birthday in for like 19 i think he's born at 53 52 something like that he's like ah slide that on up to about 58 about 58 all right there we go he says're going to lie a little bit right here.

59. That's really funny. Yeah, he's got that figured out. He says it repeatedly. Every time we talk about it, or I'll text him late at night or something, he'll be like, Kyle, this internet is a wonderful thing. This internet? Not even the app, just as a whole.

I like the cyber. The whole series of tubes that Al Gore put together for us. Yeah, all the tubes, you know, interconnected, and the pussy's on one end, and you're on the other, and you just gotta suck it on through the tube, and it's all yours, and it's, you know, however he figures it works. But he's on every fucking app that's imaginable. He's on there.

Like, I haven't even heard of him. Some of them, I think there's only him and three other people on them or something like that. He manages to find that one chick out of three that'll come on over. He's on FarmersMostly.com. Probably. You don't have to be lonely

at FarmersOnly.com. I know. That was the joke, Chiz. Farmers Mostly would be the off-brand of Farmers Only, where you might get a couple city slickers looking for the country row experience. I remember I was with my girlfriend one night and some of her friends, and one of them downloaded Farmers Only as like a gag because we saw the commercial come on, and it's got that jingle, and we were all looking at it. And we saw somebody we went to high school with,

it's got that jingle and we were all looking at it and we saw somebody went to high school with and he had all of these like like puns that involved farming uh he like like i can i can plow the field all day long and i i i reap what i sow and it's just like all of his like like farmer related like sexual puns and stuff that he'd mixed in there and like all this stuff about him being hard working and how i i can lift four square bales and just all this random bullshit and it was just you know we mocked him endlessly he wasn't there so it's okay but it just came off as so mean if he was there oh so right just real pathetic though just just to read it and everything it's's like, he was not Harley Morinstein when he set up his profile. It was not a cool, slick, aloof, kind of keep it simple kind of profile.

It was embarrassing. Yeah, it sounds like it. What were the girls like on FarmersOnly.com? I don't know, because she installed the app and then just messed around there. It was just a little party joke that she had downloaded. Oh, she did. So she was seeing all the guys.

I guess so. I don't know how it works. Maybe everybody's in there in a big fucking farming fuck orgy. For all I know, that's where all the pussy is. Maybe on Farmers Only, they're just DTF across the board. Yeah, you laugh about the farmer thing, but there's no reason they can't

be the most beautiful women. There is. Of course not. Yeah, there is. Those are some homely chicks. Trust me, I grew up in an agricultural community. I do trust you, but farmer's daughter is supposed to be a thing, right? It's supposed to be. The cowboy hat, the straw, the Daisy Dukes.

Yeah, don't exist. No, you're so wrong, Kyle. Maybe you live in a very ugly county. Hey, maybe so. Georgia farm girls are not hot. Missouri farm girls? Yeah, there are plenty of sexy farm girls and rural girls like that.

They're all over the place. And sometimes it's even hotter because you can tell that the fact that they like to go Noodlin, you know to catch some catfish or whatever like that. They're probably down for other Wet slippery things and around their mouth and hands like that's that's good Then and they're also they got more outdoorsy shit to do when you go on a date with them You can be like hey Do you ever go shooting and they'll be like yeah all Instead of like, actually, I'm not entirely comfortable with guns.

I have nothing against it strictly, but it's just not for me, and I wish people didn't have them. Yeah, and I don't know why you need one. I don't know why you need one. Do you need it? I want a girl who's not good at untying knots, Taylor.

Like the last thing I want. The last thing I want is a farmer's daughter haha back to the dentist system yeah you're gonna date a magician one of these days and she's gonna keep escaping from those handcuffs these are police great handcuffs this is baffling I don't even have a key I've done it for like like, broken out the handcuffs,

and she's like, you got the key right? I'm like, honestly, no. Good thing you said something. Shit, where'd the key go? Fuck. I got some crazy handcuffs that are like, it's like two handcuffs and then a third that comes off so you can secure it to something.

Got the bed restraints that go under the mattress with the Velcro straps. Nobody else has any cool restraints? No, I don't have any cool restraints. Got the bondage tape. It's on a roll like duct tape but it's not sticky but it sticks to itself in kind of a friction kind of way.

I have medical tape like that. You wrap it up and by the time it hits itself it sticks to itself and kind of a like friction kind of a i have a like medical tape like that you know you wrap it up and by the time it hits itself it sticks nicely yeah but it won't stick to skin or pull hair at all right oh yeah i've got apparently i have that in my medic bag yeah if you if you just google search bondage tape that's uh that's the way to go you can completely mummify somebody which some chicks are are into. A little mummification. A little breath play, maybe. Breath play? You know what?

Oh, like suffocating people. Yeah, you suffocate her a little bit. What are you drinking, Taylor? LaCroix sparkling lemon water. LaCroix. That sounds terrible. No, it's good. I really like these things.

It's got no calories, no sodium, just a little hint of lemon, and it's sparkling because I like carbonated drinks. So, yeah, I wish I had something hot for my throat. Yeah, you need some hot tea with some lemon and some honey in there and a little shot of Crown. A little shot of Crown. Yeah.

That's the way to do it absolutely if you had a you could send her a text you know that's true i need some hot tea yeah instead you've got that marine corps vet out there all itchy yeah yeah i've got him to avoid he's probably yeah god so uh i don't know how much you want to you moved i'm curious about it is it a nicer neighborhood or is it closer to work like what what inspired you to change up it's really it's not super far from where i used to live it's still in the st louis area um it's just there's kind of more stuff to do around here in a in a closer proximity to me um also more homeless people which which isn't great but you know you get used to it i got all i do now is offer a sandwich or just say no and then

and i never give money out because if you give money money out and then they see where you go home that's where they're a new place where they will show up and it costs you for more money you know they're like cats like if you give stray cats a bunch of food they're always gonna be a bunch of stray cats there which is why you need to eat cat food so you can pass out and then you know you were gonna buy a place like that was on the the menu and you decided to rent instead is this the neighborhood you were thinking of buying in yep okay so you see if you like buying in this in this kind of area and kind of wanted to test the waters first and then if i end up not liking it at the end of a year or two i'm gonna buy a house somewhere else

but yeah that's that's the plan for now the place itself is much nicer than my old place i mean obviously you guys don't get the i don't do a good job setting stuff up for on the camera but uh it's it's much nicer and i've noticed better responses from tinder girls already where you know the new the old place the entrance is kind of meh whatever it's clean and that's about all you can expect from a man in his in his 20s and then this place it's like oh wow like this is this is very nice like a you you also lots of furniture questions i don't know how to answer which means like i'm becoming an adult would you get this and i'm like oh you know what i can't put my finger on it but it was on sale like um yeah i got my workout corner all set up that's good i like how there's brick on a lot of the walls because that

takes away any kind of pressure of me to decorate because fuck it you know this is what hipstery people like right bricks on the walls yeah exposed brick um but yeah overall i'm liking it a lot the ceilings are so much fucking higher than my old place like these have got to be 12 foot ceilings. That is high. It's very large. I really like it. You could do some suspension play. Some bungee play. I have my pull-up bar. I have my pull-up bar and that's the only dangling place I have. You could install a rock climbing wall

I think at 12 foot. Yeah. It'd be a quick climb. I mean, it'd be bouldering. You'd go around the sides. How pissed would they be if they showed up when I was leaving and they're like, alright, we're just going to do the walkthrough real quick, see if you get your deposit back. And I'm like, I don't know, I drilled a lot of

holes in all of your walls. And put multicolored hand-holding things on there. Poor Taylor. He's almost running out. There's an AMA question here. It says, I missed Game of Thrones talk.

So what are your views on the spinoff show Westeros trailer? Game of Thrones set slightly in the future. My friend, I think that you saw that. That's because it's a non-existent thing it's a fan-made trailer that you saw and you took it for real but I think if you'll watch it again

hopefully something will click and you'll realize that that's not a legitimate thing they're not making a modern day sort of Game of Thrones or anything like that I'm excited for whatever spin-off comes to be I'll jump into it with both feet and give it as much of a chance as I can. I'm very interested in the Westerosi world,

or even if they go to Essos, or maybe they go to that undiscovered southern continent down there that they never talk too much about. I'd be up for a prequel or a sequel or anything in between. I'm really into that sort of thing. And anything high budget, sword, shields, and magic is okay in my book. How far in the past is it? We don't know. Nobody knows. It's so nice to be on the content-consuming

side. You're like, hey, what do you think about the new Game of Thrones firing up? Yeah, you guys go do that! If PKA was doing an adventure where we ran with the bulls, the fans would be like, yeah, knock yourself out. Do it, do it. If it sucks, I'll just end the video halfway through.

I have no skin in the game. What do I think of the new Game of Thrones? I think it's awesome. I think it's great. I hope they make four of them, and I'll watch the one I like. That's the nice end of this agreement to be on. Yeah, yeah. I'm excited for new content from them.

I'm excited for the end of this story that will come up in a year or two. It's going to be nice to see everything sewn up neatly. I think that however they end Game of Thrones is really going to matter how well they end it for the success of the future shows if they do a a shitty job of this and it's gonna it's gonna it's gonna be a negative for the sequel slash prequel whatever other spinoff shows they do i guess just call them spinoffs if they do something remarkable where it's a like a hodor kind of thing where like oh my god that whole time it was saying hold the door but he's just fucked in the head. If they end this thing and you're mind-fucked at

the way everything is interwoven and connected and how everything is sewn up at the end and whether or not you're happy with who wins, you're pleased with how the story is told, if they do that, if they do it well, I think the future series is going to be all the more successful. But if they have a, if they do it well, I think the future series is going to be all the

more successful. But if they have a lost-type series finale where everybody's scratching their head and half the people are confused and the other half are pissed off, then that could be a real negative for whatever comes next. Kyle, is it possible your mic is

playing through your speakers? I think I hear something. No? Okay. Maybe I like I hear something. No? Okay. Well, maybe I'm crazy. You double sure? 100%. It's impossible.

200%? I don't... I mean, how could it? You know, I've got... Just listen. I can't even hear myself. Like, mine doesn't even... I don't have...

I've got my audio and things set up separate so like I've got an Astro thing going for my audio and then I've got you know my mic going through a completely different USB device so I can't hear myself talk okay even so I can feel myself talk feels like shit feels like shit. Poor Taylor. Oh, man. I don't feel like sick any other way. Like, my nose has been running a lot. And I think it's just like, you know, when you get drainage when you're falling asleep and you wake up and your throat is just like so sore.

Yeah. You get that. I'm getting sick too, right? I have seen me sneeze. My nose is running, et cetera. Here's what's going to happen. The doctor is going to happen. The doctor's going to clear me to fly tomorrow, and they're all going to blame this sickness that clearly

started on Wednesday on me flying Thursday. Well, at least you've corrected the record that it did start on Wednesday. No, no. Because it's my wife I'm concerned about. I need to lay this out with her in advance I already have a sniffles maybe you got what Hope had maybe you're getting some strep throat I'm due I haven't had a bad case of strep throat

in like probably 8 years, 9 years so I'm definitely due for a strep throat and it does suck you always lose some weight though tell me more i don't know i monitored i i uh yeah i got it like a spoon and ship it to you your breakfast

it's not worth it i uh jolly ranch rancher and get it get good and wet and put it back in the wrappers in the woody i Yeah, the weight loss thing. I don't know. Even though it's 199, but the fact that I'm back on, I'm very excited about this 199 number. That seems like 30 pounds. It's not that far away. That's a lot of weight.

Yeah, and I haven't, I mean, it's not like I've lost all that muscle. Although I started over with the kettlebells. I started at my first weight. I could do my higher weight that I advanced to, but my form sucked. I'm like, what are you just fucking kidding yourself? You know,

do it right. And, and, and advance again. So, uh, that's where I am. It was just hard to do all that core stuff,

like standing on one foot. It's tricky, but, uh, back on the train again. Yep. And I'm starting from 1.99 instead of 2.20. I've been doing pretty good with all the kettlebell stuff.

Like recently, my big fuck up has been diet. Like only in the last week. So I pretty much got up to 196 to like – well, it was one of those things where it's like you eat a bunch of shit that makes you retain water weight over the weekend. And then you're like, oh, I'm up to 200. And then by Wednesday, you're like, oh, I'm at 197 again. I guess I really wasn't up that high. But I've like been eating takeout too much and getting like appetizers at bars and shit for no reason where it's like, oh, do I just want a beer?

Do I want pretzels? Well, I mean, they have pretzzels so i may as well have some uh but yeah i'm back on the horse with with the diet now i have been for the past few days and i never got off the horse for the actual working out i'm incorporating a lot more pull-ups now into what i'm doing how many can you do uh in a row like without like like what would or what would be a workout you know if you're doing like eight six four or whatever i i don't honestly i don't even do like i keep my workout structured with all my other shit uh and then every time i walk into and out of my bedroom i where i have my uh my pull-up bar thing set up i do five and that that adds up a lot. So like on the average day,

and it's only in the past couple of weeks since I moved in here that I've been like actually sticking to it pretty well. So I probably do between 30 and 40, maybe a little more, a little less on most days. And that's a lot of pull-ups. A couple of days afterward, I was like, like feeling myself. I'm like, God, like I didn't change my workout at all. What's wrong with my back and my chest? I'm like, oh, it's those pull-ups. My lats hurt like I did 40 pull-ups yesterday. That's not like I broke the world record. He does sets of five and then

rests for a few minutes. He did over 2,000 in a day. Yeah, fuck that. That sounds impossible. Pull-ups really are so hard like i used to be good at them when i was younger now i'm so heavy like 200 pounds is just a lot to do pull-ups with you have to be definitely yeah i do uh um i don't do like the bicep one or the i need to look up to be more specific but like the ones where you hold like that like outward because i i thought i saw that that's better for like your chest and your lats back there that's kind of what i'm trying to work on

a little bit um but yeah i'm liking it so fitness is going good yeah i uh and i wouldn't say it's going good but i'm proud of me to be back on it you you know, to be doing it right. So that's – I think every day – like I like that like every time you pass that doorway, you do a couple. Maybe every time you walk up to your apartment, you pick a fight with one of those homeless people. I don't mean to brag, but I haven't met a homeless person yet, at least around here, that I wouldn't beat the shit out of. Oh, that's the point. But it'd be a good workout. Look, I haven't met a heavy bag that I wouldn't beat the shit out of. Oh, that's the point. But it'd be a good workout. Look, I haven't met a heavy bag that I couldn't beat the shit out of.

That's not to say that going five rounds on your heavy bag with five minutes between the rounds isn't exhausting. Right? Yeah, that's true. Beat up a hobo a day keeps the doctor away. Just fuck him up, you know, every time you come in.

Yeah, come on inside, sir. I'll give you some money. You put $100 on the table and you're like, take it. Take it. He shuts the door behind him and realizes he's in an octagon. Like, what the fuck? You live in an octagon?

You live in an octagon? You live in an octagon? That's funny. They come in. They're like, light all the suns over there. Just a recording of fucking... What's his name? Goldberg something?

Why can't I think of his name? There's a ring girl. The card. Instead of that chain link fence, it's brick walls. So it's very intense. This is a good idea. This is a YouTube series idea. Yeah, you just throw the gloves at him

and then start coming at him. Because you don't want him to hit you with his bloody hands. No, I don't want to punch him in the mouth and get like a Hep C tooth cut. Too late for that. Tinder's already assured that, my friend. But don't worry, you can get a new liver. Hey, I'll give you part of my liver.

O negative here. You know, it grows back. I'd happily give you a little bit of my liver. Is that what hep C does? Ruin your liver? Among other things. Do girls bring condoms now? Is it still, do you expect the guy to be if they did i would

say no and i'd use my own yeah you don't trust that i don't i don't trust a girl being like here use this condom but she does i mean i've had i've had girls ask like do you have a condom and the answer is always yes and then that ends the discussion but if they were like oh i'm the only guy who has them or i'm the only lady who has them, or I'm the only lady who has them, or whatever, you need to use this because I'm not fucking you without it, it'd be like, ah, I'm not even 100% comfortable with it. But I'd end up doing it. It's an irresponsible woman who doesn't own condoms. That'd be a bizarre thing.

But the guy should be responsible for providing it. It's his dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's his dick, but this is a joint activity. Yeah. So you think the woman is more likely to want a baby and fool a guy than... Sometimes. I think objectively.

I think you'd be hard-pressed to find someone who would think that there's guys out there trying to poke holes and get girls pregnant. They don't want that headache. I mean, they could be crazy seed spreaders, right? Taylor Appleseed out there planting it everywhere, trying to repopulate Missouri. You got white guys, though. Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, and also, it's going to have to fit the man in question. What if she shows up with a big XXL condom for you, and you're like, oh, it's just falling off. I don't know why. Is this for my arm? Yeah, yeah, right? There's a quarter-sized hole in the end as well. Is that part of the problem? Or she shows up with one of those Japanese condoms that'll

barely go on your thumb. So in that regard, it just makes more sense for the man to have the condoms. But still, a responsible woman should possess condoms. And I always keep saran wrap in the cupboard just in case. Aluminum foil. Aluminum foil.

Like some sociopath. I'll try not to crinkle it too much, baby. That's one of the funniest stories Scott ever told me was about the girl with the big pussy that he couldn't please. So he went in the kitchen and put the condom on and then saran wrapped around and around his cock until it was enormous. He put another condom over the saran wrap and it was dark so he just went in there

with this giant fake dong. He's like, I couldn't feel anything. I just pounded her for like 40 minutes. That sounds so good. Good on him. He really went through the effort he that was a he jumped on his dick so lumpy he's a pleaser yeah yeah he came in there with like

some misshapen saran wrap cock it's like those weird pornos were like uh like a guy injected his dick with nothing but silicone for years or saline or whatever and you see it and it's just like, oh, what the fuck? That looks like a malignant tumor hanging off of your lower temple. Now you've struck on something I haven't seen before my friend. I've seen some crazy shit but I haven't seen the guys who, it's probably the same stuff they inject into their arms

to give themselves the fake muscles. What is that called? Synthol. That's what they use for muscles. I don't know what the dick stuff's called. Synthol. The arm is called synthol. That's what they use for muscles. I don't know what the dick stuff is called. Synthol cock. That's absurd. Oh, one of the other Florida Man stories that I pulled up that I didn't feel like was relevant or good enough story was a guy who, it was not his first time getting caught pretending to be a doctor and providing cosmetic surgery.

cosmetic surgery, but he had he was given fake ass implants and fake dick implants, and he had actually killed a man by giving him a botched facelift and dick enlargement. I guess he did both surgeries at the same time. All at once. All at once. Killed the man. You know, he was looking to get a

fresh new look and a big fucking cock and the man died. Too much. Died. Yeah, there was a guy with like a real self-esteem issue, right? Like, not only... Did you see that Celtics player that broke his leg? Yeah. Oh, there goes $128 million.

I think he's going to be fine. I think he actually had a very similar injury to that guy. I don't. Yeah, no, I do. I know I saw the still shots I saw everything it just broke a bone they said it was a clean break

the bone's fine it really it's the tendon and ligaments I bet that guy's walking in eight weeks not playing but I bet he's walking in eight weeks I bet he plays this season I just don't know about that yeah I want to see an update um i i looked for an update

before the show but nothing was i think he got operated on today so they're gonna like know the the injury like the full extent of it yeah and we'll see that guy's career i would bet that guy's career is over because he's putting a lot of... First of all, he's got that big frame, right? He's this big, stretched-out, gumby motherfucker. He's a basketball player, yeah. Yeah, and second of all, he puts some stress on that thing.

Just playing basketball is stress. You occasionally land on someone else's foot and crazy stuff happens. That was a that was a fun one to watch that wasn't as it was hard to watch not nearly as hard as that one uh from you know weeks back years back maybe where the guy's leg was like rubber like it was just the skin holding it on or whatever just a complete break can you find the the still shot of his leg afterwards you could there's a photo running around yeah and uh and you see him

like sitting on the ground and his foot's not in position and i i really i mean we'll find out probably today or tomorrow you know before the show comes out but i honestly think we had very similar injuries it was the same sort of thing toe Toe pointed towards the butt. His just didn't go right back like mine did. I don't want to disagree with you because it was your injury, but I really feel like this looks much more severe than what you have. It looks that way, but I think it's... Oh, we'll see. I mean, I could be wrong. This will come out and it'll turn out.

Because it doesn't look like his ankle to me. It looks like above his ankle, the leg is broken in half. Yeah, that's almost exactly where my middle plate is. That's where it broke. That's where it breaks. But was yours all wobbly like this and flopping around? So they had to put the foot back in where it goes.

But visually, it looked about the same. But the doctor came out, and afterwards he was like, yeah, we repositioned the foot to where it belongs, and that was part of the surgery. Yeah, Chiz is right. Nothing beats Kevin Ware's broken leg. That's some gruesome shit right there. I do not fucking envy that in any way whatsoever. That is fucked.

This one's hard to look at, too. Let's see Kevin Ware's. Alright, I'll take a look. You just saw it again? Does it happen towards the beginning? You just saw it again? Yeah. Does it happen towards the beginning? Yeah, he time stamped it for you. If you watch on the right side of the screen, he's in the white uniform. You can see him come down on it. Oh, I missed it.

And then there's a replay. And then his whole bench reacts to it. Yeah, look at what he did. It's right below the knee, right? You reacted exactly like his entire bench of grown-ass professional athletes reacted. They turn away in absolute disgust and horror at that injury. That is awful. The only thing worse than that, in my personal opinion, is one of those severe dick breakings.

Like when the girl's riding too aggressively and you see a dick break. You know what's at least as bad? The dick break, I think, is the win. But there have been a couple shin breaks in MMA. Because what happens is it doesn't just break and fall. It breaks, and then usually it's a leg on leg, and the rest of it continues to wrap around. Yeah, baby.

Like Anderson. Yeah, Anderson Silva happened. Anderson Silva. He went from Anderson the spider Silva to Anderson the squid silver. So that shit was wrapped around. It was disgusting. I think that's why he got popped, right? I think that he was on steroids to help the healing process from that leg. A lot of people say that, um, you know, that's the only time he got popped, but a lot of his other stuff was

pre-usada but then of course champs are pretty well tested i it's hard to say i don't usually grant that big a benefit of the doubt like i i don't see someone get caught and be like oh you know what that's probably the first time he ever did it and he got caught you know did you see how much gsp is getting tested yeah like 10 times or something yeah yeah like maybe 13 in the last two years like like maybe six last year and seven this year or vice versa something like that like like a dozen times roughly he's a funny case because um he's always been a proponent of more testing it was one of the reasons he left the ufc he was going up against, I think he fought him twice. Who's the big rig? What's his name? Joe maybe? Big rig. Johnny Hendricks. And so Johnny Hendricks, a lot of people accused of being on

USADA, or being on steroids. The things were out. And by the way, when USADA came in, his career tanked, but he never did test positive. Anyway, he was like, we got to take testing. We got to test. I'll test. You test. Let's both do this testing, et cetera. Johnny Hendricks was like, we gotta take testing, we gotta test. I'll test, you test, let's both do this testing, etc. Johnny Hendricks was like, fuck that, I ain't taking no steroid tests. And he didn't like it. So, he has a long history of being anti-steroids. On the other hand, how did he win back when the UFC was filled with steroids? And he's never passed the eye test, for whatever that's worth.

Oh, he looks so good he looks like like like so he's like between schwarzenegger and ryan reynolds like like he's in between somewhere his pecs are so big his arms are so big he is so fucking ripped and at the same time like not a stiff guy at all he is an athletic bendy spin his training camps involve gymnastics yeah he's incredible i wish i wish you weren't fighting bisping because bisping's gonna clean his fucking clock if you ask me bisping might knock him bisping was like oh no that three guys in training camp this week i feel feel like a fucking killer, mate. He literally knocked... He KO'd three guys. Terrible training partner. Well, I mean, three terrible training ones.

Oh, he's the terrible... Fuck it. Build his confidence up. That's what I'd want if I were him. Like, yeah, I'm knocking three guys out this week. I feel like a killer. That's what he said. He's gonna fuck GSP up, and GSP won't be back. Gsp should be fighting

connor i'd love to see gsp fight connor anybody fighting connor is a fucking show right whether it's ferguson nate khabib or uh or gsp any of those fights i'll fucking pay the pay the 50 60 bucks for to see but i wish that were the fight like you said i'd pay to watch connor fight anybody but if i get my choice, he fights Ferguson. If I got my choice of any of them, I would say GSP because I want to protect Conor. I think the most dangerous fight

for him is probably Khabib. I think Khabib's going to take him to the ground. I think Ferguson's a tough fight, but everybody talks about Ferguson's chin being up and stuff. That might not go well. Conor will fucking snipe his fucking chin out and put him to sleep like Jose Aldo. And of course, the Nate trilogy is the one

that makes the most money. I think it makes more money even than GSP, because everybody keeps talking like GSP is this giant draw or whatever. But that was five, six years ago when he was the big draw. I don't know if those fans are still around in bunches like they were. I feel like it's a new breed of fans who are like, GSP, I am not impressed with your performance. They don't remember that shit. I hear you. I think to me, Nate's not the biggest moneymaker.

I think that Khabib has a country behind him, and Russia's a populous country. There are a lot of people there. And GSP has a country behind him. I'm not sure. And GSP has a country behind him. Nate, on the other hand,

I don't know. I always thought his value i always thought the ufc was right about his value and not nate but they make a fucking fortune somehow i don't know how they do it i think it's i think it's nate man i think it's the the i think those two will be the best at promoting a fight you know i think they got the the trilogy thing working for them i think that they got such a highlight reel from their two previous fights to roll out in the promotion. It might just be me because when I hear Nate talk, he's disinterested and I'm disinterested, right? Nate wishes he wasn't there the whole time.

You know, it's just what the fuck is this stupid commercial? Some people see that and they're like, Nate is the realest motherfucker in the UFC. Nate is this. Nate is that. I love Nate. I relate to Nate. I don't relate to Nate at all. I'm not a fucking gangster-ass Mexican or anything, but I love Nate. I like

his style. And then I hold it against it that he's not fighting, right? Nate just pretty much didn't fight. The Conor thing came along. He's like, alright, I'm in. And then he'll just wait for years for the connor fight to come around again and it's like triathlons like back to back i feel like nate's not fighting because he knows he'll lose that's in my head anyway between my ears that's what's going on he's like dude if i fight again they're gonna make me fight like khabib or ferguson or somebody good someone in

that like mcgregor halo universe i don't want to fight those motherfuckers best day i can beat is michael johnson that's as good as i'll ever get so i'll just sit here on the sidelines so that this fight so i'll lose the money fight that's what i think he's a top 10 guy but he's not a top five guy you know and uh but I still think he's the money fight. The one I want to see the most is honestly probably GSP McGregor. I'd like to see that. I really would because I think

that you got the old superstar versus the new superstar. I think McGregor probably wins that. I don't know. What if they're both coming off a loss? Here's how this could go. McGregor could lose to Ferguson. I think he beats him but I don't know. What if they're both coming off a loss? Here's how this could go, right? McGregor could lose to Ferguson. I think he beats him, but I don't know. And then GSP loses to Bisping and they make that fight happen. I think GSP said he's done if he loses to Bisping.

People say things. What if he gets paid? I think he's going to get beaten up, too. I don't think it's going to be a pretty loss to Bisping because I don't think Bisping's going to put put him to sleep with one shot i think bisping's going to rough gsp up he's the bigger man and i i heard chael going on and on about how gsp is the stronger man despite being the smaller man i don't know if his information is is like uh 2017 information you know what i mean like he trained he's trained with gsp but i don mean? Like he's trained with GSP, but I don't know if he's trained with him this year or last year or the year before.

I don't know that. But Bisping's going to knock him the fuck out. Bisping hits hard. Bisping's got a smart game plan. He's a smart fighter. He's going to knock GSP the fuck out. That's just how it's going to go down. And I think GSP's already got traumatic head injury. The guy is talking about

aliens and losing time. It's not going to go well for this guy. He's going to lose a lot more time. He's going to wake up and he's going to be like, the aliens kidnapped me before the fight. It's a good fight. I can't wait to see it. A $5 PayPal bet?

I don't even know who's favored. My money's on the champ uh my money's on on gsp i think gsp wins i think gsp wrestle fucks him and now having said that a lot of people are supposed to wrestle fuck bisping and it never seems to happen dan henderson is a wrestler and he didn't make it happen chael sunner's a wrestler and i don't think chael wrestle fuck bisping i think Bisping popped right back up consistently. So I don't know how a 170-pound guy does it, but he did it for like a decade, and I guess he does it again.

I don't know. You're in a new decade now, and Bisping's been working on his jits. He's lost weight. He's feeling good. You know, I mean, this is a guy... I say Bisping beat Anderson Silva in that fight. Me too.

And if he can beat Anderson Silva, he can beat fucking GSB. GSB stepping up in weight class, that's just asking too much. It's one thing to go from 145 to 155. That's a whole other thing, what we're talking about him stepping up to. It's a 15-pound step-up, 170 to 185. So a whole nother thing what we're talking about him him stepping up to 15 pounds step up 170 to 185 so it's yeah yeah and and it's a percentage i don't know those are just bigger men every time you go up that ladder a little bit you're just talking about a lot more kinetic energy their fists are bigger it's just a whole different game like in the same whenever i heard like uh connor calling out tyron i was like no You don't want to fuck with Tyron Woodley.

That guy will annihilate you. First of all, he's going to run from you, it seems like, for three rounds or something like that. You're all tired, Connor. And then if he ever touches you, he's going to knock you the fuck out. If he ever gets the balls to throw a punch. Tyron is the most... Tyron looks like an action figure figure and he fights like a pussy like oh my god if you gotta fight somebody in the ufc like one of the scary big time guys if you

gotta pick one of these guys to step in the octagon with you might pick tyron you might pick tyron woodley because you know like like like he's just gonna dance around be a pussy maybe he wouldn't do that to one of us right he'd just'd just come in. Yeah, he'd just do anything he wanted. Zero respect, rightfully so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's not how he treats his opponents. He treats his opponents like they're kryptonite and he's fucking Superman and he's scared. I hate watching Tyron fight. I hope that, I rarely hope for bad things for people, but I hope Tyron's career ends i hope he loses money i hope he gets so does dana white you know he's going up against who's the strong white guy who was champion he beat uh the the canadian psycho yeah that's what i'm going for robbie lawler fights

tyron woodley next i think i know so that'll be a good one um yeah you can't run from that motherfucker he's gonna bulldog you down and hammer you into the corner. Oh, I'd hate to fight. That's who you don't want to fight is fucking Robbie Lawler. That man's a goddamn Neanderthal caveman. His lip splits in half from his nose to the end, and he seemed to like it. Yeah, he's like, oh, I can scowl even scarier with without all my lips with three lips yeah oh my god that guy but yeah and the other thing about tyron woodley like he turned down the fight

with hector lug bar lombard who was juiced up as fuck but still like they're both action figure looking people i wanted to see that and tyron woodley was just like nope i refuse to fight him i don't think it'd be good for my career he He sat on his ass for 20 months or something to get his title fight. His last three fights have been dog shit. You got, what, Lyoto Machida, right? No, no, it was a different Brazilian grappler. Damian Maia and then two Wonder Boys. And then two Wonder Boys.

Mixing Wonder Boy and Tyron is like mixing, I don't know, water and water. Molasses and honey. Yeah, thank you, excellent. Molasses and honey, it's just, it's shit. Nothing good, nothing interesting, nothing, it sucks. Those styles are just like, oh, aha. Like normally you got one guy chasing the other. These two are like running from each other.

They're like magnets that are turned to the same poles pointing at each other, and they're just pushing away from each other the whole time. You want the opposite. You want a stylistic matchup that's going to be interesting. I mean, you throw Habib against Conor, and that's what that is. It's one guy wanting to maintain distance

and fucking snipe the other, and is it's one guy wanting to maintain distance and fucking snipe the other and it's the other guy wanting to close distance and clobber you know that's the kind of stylistic matchups that that make for fun shows i i think khabib beats connor i don't want him to but i think he does i think again you know the that whole wrestler thing, being Conor's kryptonite, he beat Chad Mendes, so let's not pretend he's defenseless, but that's just the style that will eventually beat Conor. I don't know, you know, because

it depends what Khabib you get in the octagon, right? Like, if you get this almost dead Khabib, whose liver is on the verge of failing, and Conor keeps throwing those T-kicks, those straight kicks to maintain his distance, fucking poking him in the liver that's already at 30% operation. I hear you.

Conor's smart. He styles himself for each opponent. Maybe he works on some sort of flying knee sort of thing. Maybe he reads when Khabib's going to shoot and a knee fucking catches Khabib. Connor does do that. Maybe there's some uppercuts and knees

and some T-kicks to maintain distance. I don't know. There's a formula to beat Khabib. I saw his record the other day and people pointed out how many of these guys are 0- pointed out how many of these guys are like 0-4, how many of these guys are like 3-3. He's beaten like

3-4 good people ever for his 24-0 record or whatever it is. I don't know. I don't know that Khabib's kryptonite. I know his style is Conor's kryptonite. I just don't know if he's the one to do it. I want to see it though yeah khabib's supposed

to fight 219 it's not i didn't know that it's not it's not on paper yet did they say an opponent yeah yeah um i i don't know if you go on the mma subreddit you'll find it i'm terrible like keeping all those goddamn names between the koreans the brazilians, and all those motherfuckers. Even the Americans have silly names. I'll have to find it later. Do you want to call it a wrap? Yeah! The Walking Dead No Man's Land is the official game for AMC's The Walking Dead. It's a turn-based action strategy game

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