Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #360

Episode Date: November 17, 2017

This week on PKA, Filthy Robot is back and the guys all discuss the greatest hypothetical hookers in Vegas trip for Kyle & Taylor, EVER. Also Woody shares with everyone what VanLife is and how the guys react to that, as well as a story recounted of Jeremy gettin's some lovin' in a portapotty. All that and more on this week's PKA!

We are Painkiller Ready episode 360. Kyle? Yeah, a few sponsors tonight. Squarespace, Stitch Fix, Lyft, War Dragons coming back, Smart Mouth as always, and Redbox. I actually have a quick word here from Redbox because video games are super fun and super expensive. And once you bust open that plastic, you're stuck with them. That's why Redbox lets you try out the hottest new games risk-free.

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slash privacy. Links below. Check them out. Check out Redbox. They've got the new COD. I'm half tempted. I've been watching some videos of it. I'm not going to buy it. What's your first impression? Well, I watched Jack Fraggs play this new game mode called War, I think, or something like that. There's been a game mode called War, but this is sort of a redesigned thing.

And basically, it looked like Omaha Beach. You know, like the scene from Saving Private Ryan where they're invading the beach and the Germans are defending. And you play each side, and when you're on defense, there are AI mixed in with the players, which you can easily differentiate. And you're sort of fighting off the beach invasion, and then you switch sides. And it was not only

really... not only was the scale really big and did it look great, but it was very cinematic. It looked a bit like a movie. It was pretty cool, but I'm not sold. Well, even if you decide not to buy it, you can rent it with Redbox. Like, it looked a bit like a movie. It was pretty cool, but I'm not sold. Well, even if you decide not to buy it, you can rent it with Redbox. There you go. Oh, shit.

There you go. I've got one year. Like, you know, I'm actually considering that now. That's a good point. You should. I might rent it. Like, I'm not feeling caught enough. Like, I know if I buy it, I'll probably be really into it for like three days and then it'll

fade away you know because at this point it's like cod is cod but renting it that's probably the best option because i would like to at least see like i remember there was a big kerfuffle when it came out of people being like there shouldn't be black female nazis in this game and it's like if you're playing a death match a multiplayer of course not like who cares doesn't matter like let whoever is running around you're just playing a game but if it's like an immersive campaign battle and you're on the Nazi side and you're you know general whatever the fuck and you look over and your right-hand man is like a black woman being like yeah these Jew then they have to blame for all of this it'd be like

that would take you out of the immersion aspect you'd be like wait no you're supposed to be a an aryan guy i was always on your side on on that argument not that it's unique to you but has to do with immersion i like hamilton the play though i've never seen that oh i well i've really only listened to it i haven't seen it it. Apparently tickets are like $4,000 and you have to be someone special to get them. But I listened to the whole thing and it's amazing. Like Hamilton was the big thing a year ago and I was like, how can a musical be a big thing, right?

Like who on God's green earth gives a fuck about musicals? And then Hamilton comes out and suddenly the answer is me. And all the characters, like there's hardly a white guy in the cast. fuck about musicals. And then Hamilton comes out and suddenly the answer is me. And, uh, all the characters, like there's hardly a white guy in the cast. It's almost distractingly diversified. I,

I, are there any white people in Hamilton? Filthy? You might know. No, no, you'd seem like you're into gay shit. I don't know.

That's the first time I referenced on the show. Hey, That's the first time I've referenced on the show Hey It's the same thing as like If there was a video game about A Zulu war chief conquering sections of Africa And you know You were the Zulu guy

And you looked to your right And it's just some I'm happy to be helping you my lord you know and he goes like that you'd be like what the fuck why is there this British guy alongside the Zulu I'm now I'm taken out of the moment Wonder Woman's mixed in there for some reason yes after this we will have all of the best farmland, which we will not take advantage of. That's what you need. You need immersion. I think I'd buy that argument up until Call of Duty. At that point, I don't think people are playing that for the immersion of the historic.

Well, the thing is, a lot of con players came from Halo, so they consider it like a simulator it doesn't matter because you're just playing on a map i'm saying like in a campaign park where it's about immersion where you're trying to like imagine yourself as an ally or whatever yeah that's what i mean last time i played a game like that i had some like 12 year old on the voice comm shouting fucking curse words at me i don't think he was in it for the immersion it's just tell me you smacked him down though, Filthy. Multiplayer different animal. They're like, I don't know.

35 year old Woody would take that 12 year old behind the video game barn and beat the fuck out of him. Because 35 year old Woody could play a game. 44 year old Woody would probably have that flipped. He'd probably be cursing me, calling me a faggot and I would be looking down at my

feet thinking, yeah, I suck. I get it. You play more than me. Why do you have to be so mean? Yeah, I'll give it a go, give the game a go for a few days. It might be fun. Dude, speaking of 40-some-year-old men and 12- 12 year olds, Louis C.K. is in the news. Now hang on a minute. That's that Alabama

politician who was 30-something. Dude, could he possibly lose? So I think, is his name Roger Moore? That's the... Roy Moore. Roy Moore, okay. Yeah, Roger Moore is James Bond. I thought it was a little coincidental, but yeah, so Roy Moore is a rootin' tootin' primary winning senator from

Alabama. The guy pulls out guns in his campaign stop and loves to do anti-gay stuff. He's a big fan of Confederate statues. What kind of anti-gay stuff does he do? Does he go to fashion shows and beat people up? That's an impractical outfit. Is he the guy that said we could consider him the nation's homophobic in chief?

I might be mixing up with a Virginia guy. Yeah, I might be mixing him up with a guy who just lost. But yeah, dude, he's... Terrible branding. But that's the guy that he is. Even if I attributed the quote to the wrong guy, he's anti-gay, he's pro-gun he's um he's like a caricature of alabama pro shooting gays um and and he was a shoo-in because in alabama if you win the republican primary then the general election is just a formality you know they're not going to elect a democrat

in alabama but it's come out that is it three or four women he's like improper oh by the way not women like the oldest of them was 19 which i guess is a woman but you know they they go down into that minor pedophile range so definitely yeah but i think some of them were like 15 and 13 14 14 when i heard about specifically and it's funny to see like fellow conservatives from all, you know, shapes and sizes coming to his aid. Like I saw one guy being like, when Joseph married Mary,

she was a young girl and he was an adult carpenter and they had baby Jesus. The fuck, right? The fuck is wrong with Alabama politics? To excuse your molesting governor or whatever. Senator. He's a potential senator. What makes this even better is that for months, so many of these people have been like,

there's a huge pedophile ring running out of D.C. and all of these politicians are culpable. And then they're like, hey, we might have found one of them. And they're like, oh, no, not him. Not him. Definitely not him. And it's like, oh, you were talking about this pedophile thing. The fake news with Comet Pizza and the imaginary basement and all that other bullshit was top of the list for a long time.

Now, this guy has had like five girls, three girls. How many girls have come out? Four girls. I've been really nailing the middle of all these ranges. What was I? 15? 13? It's 14. To be fair, there's a lot to keep track of right now. Relegations. Different people, different numbers.

It's hard. Dude, if this guy doesn't have to drop out of the race, because he's a legit pedophile, right? We have a legit pedophile. You can't grab a 14-year-old by the pussy and not be a pedophile mean things words have to mean things You know these women he's going after aren't that the pedophile someone I think That loves fucking children or is sexually attracted to children okay now

I think that you got to be like prepubescent to after like eight nine ten Eleven year olds to be a legitimate pedophile i just think there should be a disparity there i'm not excusing this guy for going after you kind of are a little bit yeah you kind of are not excusing i i one is definitely worse than the other the guy who wants to fuck a seven-year-old worse than the guy who wants to fuck his 14-year-old they just has to be all right well you know we happen to have an expert pedophile on the call. Filthy. What does it take to be a pedophile? Doesn't it? Homosexual expert and pedophile.

Filthy, if you grab a 14 year old, like it. So he's accused of against her will grabbing her on top of the clothes on the pussy. If I understood, that's what I read. I could, hopefully I'm right on that. You want her to touch him. That's, but there's a lot of pedophiles out there right now. It's hard to keep track. Well, either one of those behaviors, 14 year old. Pedophile, yes or no? I was just looking it up actually.

So the DSM is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual. This is what the clinical psychologists use for their, you know, their diagnosis of these things. I was just looking it up online. And it is Kyle's definition, I think, that I'm reading right here, which is attraction to prepubescent children. So this, I guess, is then defined as something different. I guess this is defined as like child sexual abuse or something like that.

But it's not pedophilia. So my bad. My bad. He's not a pedophile. He's a child sexual abuser. Vote for Roy Moore. I'm an expert because I can read Google, right? Oh, I get it. I'll go along with the gag. Yeah, he had to look that up.

Like, I mean, I don't care about what the term is. He's still pedophilic. I don't care about what the term is. He's still pedophilic. He's going for young kids who are not of the 18 legal age or whatever. Well, it depends on the state and the nationality. Look, here's the thing. He was deep into his 30s.

I think he was 37. The hedge that people need to inject in their more isn't the, oh, he's not a pedophile. He's a different kind of file it's like the like people need to remember to say allegedly still because we're in such a fever pitch right now of all this shit happening like just like with the louis ck thing like allegedly he's done this stuff you know but just to be clear i think are there three girls who've accused him of this so far like five girls lou I'm on those, Senator, dude. Can I lay out what Louis C.K. likes to do?

I was having so much fun with Roy Moore. We can circle back to Roy Moore. We'll bounce around. Louis C.K. likes him a little more ripened, okay? Not a pedophile or a child sexual deviant of any kind. But what he enjoys is to masturbate in front of women, sort of like Harvey Weinstein.

And he's also just as disgusting, if not more so looking. Less. So he fits that description I laid out a couple weeks ago. I don't know. Pause for a quick second. Filthy, which one's hotter, Louis C.K. or Harvey Weinstein? You have to blow images to look. Okay, well, he figures out which one he'd rather take on.

Is that going to come on today exactly? Abuse and fucking terrible fantasies from you guys? Hey, don't lie to me. I've been nothing but courteous. Maybe I'm going too hard on this. I thought it was funny. All the stories on Louis C.K. describe him as masturbating in front of women or asking women if he can masturbate in front of them.

He asked two fans back to his hotel room. They sit down. He immediately pulls his dick out, gets completely naked, and starts jerking it in front of them. And they're like, whoa, that's a little weird. But that one is almost excusable because it's two fans coming to his hotel room. That's okay, I think, in my personal opinion. You come into my hotel room, you might see some shit.

I hear where you're coming from. Well, he was like, I'm about to get naked and jerk off. He asked if he could pull his dick out, and they laughed it off, and then he did. Well, I'm taking that as a yes. But he also would do this with employees, ask people he was working with if they were into it, and they would come back to his room and sometimes he got rebuffed, sometimes he just sort of did it in front of people and it's a long...

These aren't new allegations. Chiz and I have discussed this before. He's had these things said about him for years. It always gets tamped down because he's Louis C.K. Powerful at this point. I just

don't get how could recently power thing that you are into is just masturbating in front of people you don't even want a willing participant you'd still just want an audience it could be thrilling but it also like really shameful right because it's not like if you've got like an enormous penis like if when you pull it out women would go whoa holy shit all right because every now not like if you've got like an enormous penis like if when you pulled it out women would go whoa holy shit all right because every now and then i see those like uh like like i'll be on a porn site and there'll be a clip of a guy who has literally like a 13 inch gigantic cock and he goes on um like what is omegle where you like randomly match up with strangers

and like normally and there'll be two girls on the other end and normally you pull your dick out i'm i would assume on those and people are just like and they like click away filthy but he pulls this guy pulls out this hog of a cock and they're just like oh oh my and they're clearly like way into it and like that's his videos he just uploads the reaction of women when they see this thing that he whips out that doesn't even look real louis ck's situation though he's how do we know how do we know how do we know that he isn't like enormous and and that's just how he gets it done he He's like, look, they look at what's on the outside. They're going to say no. But if I can ever get them to see me pull it out,

it's like chum in the water. It's like they can't resist it. You know, maybe that's his deal. I think he's just more of a run-of-the-mill perv. It just feels like a really kind of minor fetish. Like, you know, you would he ever want this like it feels like the kind of the spectrum of things all right whatever not so much the way he's doing it clearly the non-consent issue is a huge fucking issue with this but like of like the weird things he could be doing this one kind of ranks kind of low it feels like so yeah you're right super as far as like the creepiness that he could be doing

he could be doing groping he could be be doing maybe trying to come on him or something. There's a lot of creepy stuff to do. And this is the lowest end of that bar. But it's still odd. Have you seen those pornos where the guy's got his cell phone and he's at a bus stop or something. And he waits until a hot chick is sitting on the bench. And he starts jerking off behind her,

like looking around all frantically, and then he just blows a load on her back and runs away. On just some stranger at the bus stop? She already has to ride the bus. Give this chick a break. I wonder what gets him off about it. Like I'm curious as to where the, like what's hot about masturbating in front of people.

Is it the power imbalance? Does he enjoy the enjoy scaring them? In his mind, would a mutual masturbation session be hotter still? Or is he getting off on, I don't want to call it abuse, but like, you know. Exhibitionism is when you're the one making a scene. Voyeurism is when you're the one who wants people to watch you make, or no, when you like watching someone else. So he's into exhibitionists.

He's an exhibitionist. I just feel like he's doing this to people who don't want to be there, right? That seems to be a common denominator. Is that part of what makes it hot to him? Because that's not, what's hot to me is them wanting to be there, right? The more enthusiasm they have, the hotter it is. It's one of the big things the one girl who like shot him down um

because like like just reading the article it sounded like she was a lesbian and she was like no i have a wife and like a who's pregnant oh it's what she says to him used on the whole sex thing there like like she says that to him and and and he's like and and she says that he said, I'm sorry, I have a problem. So in my head, I'm just trying to get inside his big orange head. I think that he gets off. It's orange. Let's not pick on him for having a big head. It's big and orange.

Something's out of your control. He could get a helmet or something, and shrink it down, right? You see those African tribesmen who have, like, reshaped their skulls? I saw Beetlejuice. Yeah. Oh, absolutely, Beetlejuice. That's a...

I love Beetlejuice. But I think he's getting off on the thrill of, like... Like, have you ever had sex outside? Mm-hmm. It's fun! It's thrilling, and there's a little bit of risk to it, like depending on where you are. I'm not talking about like at the bus stop or anything, but maybe if you're in a park or, you know,

behind a Denny's or something, wherever. Somewhere classy. And there's always a chance that maybe someone catches you. That's kind of thrilling and hot. I think in the same way, if he's like jerking off in front of an assistant or something in his dressing room with the door poorly latched or something, that's a thrill to him. And, and we've heard that like

four or five women, I think it's five have come forward with these allegations or whatever, but you gotta imagine just like with Weinstein, he struck out 14, 28 times, whatever the number on him is now. But I bet he hit a lot of triples a lot of doubles like he hit for the cycle some weeks like homers left and right like i'm sure he succeeded in this a lot and there were plenty of chicks who were like yeah all right go ahead finish up you want to bust on my shoe go ahead yeah right there yeah lick it off now you dirty fuck yeah lick it off so you say i'm the lead now right i'm the lead i gotta? Yeah, that totally happened plenty of times. Do you think this will be a franchise? Oh, yeah.

People are going to love Catwoman. Poor Halle Berry. I wonder if this stuff will go down over time with apps like Tinder out there, where people can get these memes met easier and meet people who are willing to do this rather than have to go this route. If you think of this as like a kind of driving urge for someone, like this is how they sexually have released and they can't find it fucking anywhere. I wonder if that's more accessible to find people who do care that it'll be easier.

That's cool. And that comes from one side. And from the other side, suddenly there's a penalty for this, right? Suddenly everyone is, not everyone, I guess, but people who have been an asshole for the last 15 years, whether you be Louis CK, Roy Moore, or Kevin Spacey, or whoever else I'm missing, like suddenly like it's catching up with you. If I'm a creep or potential creep in Hollywood, I might be thinking, you know what? There are ramifications for my actions.

This will ruin me. Yeah. Remember what i said like tinder is the one like like you can only go down to 18 years old on tinder so you want to hop on kindling kindling has to pass is that a real app no you know what no i gotta know though is there a kindling? Asking for a friend. That's fucking hilarious. I want someone to mock up a kindling logo. That's good. I like that.

That's funny. I don't know. I was just talking with my wife about this. It's so weird, the difference in repercussions. Trump does something like this. Yeah. No repercussion whatsoever. Like, some of these other names are coming out. Like shows are being canceled.

They're being kicked out of guilds. They're being boycotted. It's so, it seems so, so weird because it feels to me so similar in both of these instances. My memory's foggy, but did Trump ever have an accuser who said that he grabbed her? Well, that's a good question. I don't know. On the plane, right? Because in my memory i remember trump

bragging with his locker room talk i'm doing air quotes right now that he you know did this or did that and i think that depending on what lens you look at through obviously it's it's you you could easily excuse it as he says a lot of fucked fucking shit, right? He brags about, oh, my memory. My memory is the best memory. My IQ is this. My dick is huge. I'm worth $10 billion. And I grab this.

The first thing I Google, though, Kyle, is the White House official position on the women who accused President Trump of sexual harassment is that they are lying. So I assume that means Jesse was accused. Oh, if you can't trust Trump, who can you trust? No, Chis here says that there's at least one titty-grabbing situation. And he would brag, and it's confirmed.

There are young girls below 18 years old who said that he went back and just kind of was creepy at the Miss Teen USA pageant. So these girls were 17. I looked at them. I looked at how old they were. Because I think we talked about it once before, and Kyle said, oh, they're all 19. They all have to be over 18. And I didn't know if that was true. So in my own time, I looked and they were like,

they weren't super young. They weren't like 13 or anything, but they're definitely 17 and 16 year olds in that show. Yeah, that's still very creepy. Yeah, you're not supposed to be back there abusing your position of authority, looking at 16 year olds topless. Were they well-developed 16 year olds?

I bet they were yeah i bet i think trump is attracted to women not girls and sometimes like you were pointing out like when a girl is 16 or whatever she looks every bit that some women do at 23 but that doesn't make trump less of a creepy yeah still can't be traipsing around in a changing room you know being like i'm just here to make sure all the clothes are regulation like you know yeah he's a little too long you know like he just likes hot women so he's back there looking at the young ones because he can and it's creepy and it's wrong and he's our president they just yeah i mean this i mean nothing about any of these stories including that story are particularly surprising to me again this is people in power taking advantage of what they can and they do it until they get caught, until there's actually a punishment that's going to stop them doing that.

None of that is at all surprising. I mean, it's kind of it feels like there's always these huge news cycles within these blow up of this is what's happening. And it's like it feels like, of course, of course, this shit is happening. You know, like no one didn't know this. didn't know this i mean how many how many times have you come across or you know seem jokingly referenced like the idea of trading sexual favors for advancement somewhere or the creepy old man i mean this is this shit isn't in here for no reason whatsoever so it's just i never ran across those jokes or anything like taylor you work in a like business environment does anyone even goof about that like that's not a thing that happens at Cisco. I think he means in pop culture.

No. Oh, pop culture jokes, yeah, but not day-to-day working life. Go back to The Godfather, right? You had that scene where they showed that the – remember the guy who got the – he was the film producer, and they end up cutting his horse's head off and leaving his bed? That guy had a 12-year-old actress upstairs that he was fucking, and her mom was acting as her pimp to like further the 12 year old's acting career like like it's just been that's a real behind the scenes thing we're talking about yeah

no no well that's part of the the book and that's part of the movie like um and you know those things like that are based in reality you know they're not just coming out of thin air you know so that's been a part of Hollywood forever. I've heard the casting couch thing. I remember that guy we had on the show and the episode got deleted who was on Arrested Development. I remember asking him if he'd ever been asked to do any sexual favors to further his career.

He got all pissy about it. After the show, I was like, the way he reacted. Why? do i have something on my face like i just asked the question way it's kind of weird because it feels like that would be a that is a reasonable question to ask an insider in a in a in a business like what are some of the you know shit that happens behind the scene in that business. He wanted to come on and pimp his dehydrated seaweed jerky or something. He wanted to pimp that and he wanted to pimp the

show and then he wanted to leave. It was just terrible having him on. In my memory, again, this has been three years ago. I do remember it wasn't a great show. It sucks to lose any show but that one wasn't good. Yeah. But that guy got fucked. Maybe by Jeffrey Tambor

who is now being accused. He's the guy on Arrested Development. It all comes full circle. Tambor is being accused. I think he plays a transsexual on that Amazon show and I wrote to Chiz last night. I was like, Jeffrey Tambor is being accused. He's like, ah. He plays a transsexual. He's bulletproof. I was like, Jeffrey Tambor is being accused. He's like, ah, but he plays a transsexual.

He's bulletproof. I'm like, aha! He's being accused of harassing a transsexual, though. Cancels out. He's in big trouble. Ah, that's true. And when he's not on set, he's just a white guy. And so he couldn't be an easier target.

What if he wore the dress while he did it, though? I mean, these are good points you're raising. Describe it in detail. like pretty weak describe his happy trail it is actually pretty weak yeah um i mean i don't even know enough about that guy to be like that seems realistic or oh no jeffrey tamper he wouldn't he would never like I have no idea that guy doesn't look like someone who gets pussy easily though no he doesn't especially not in that photo is there any way you can show that photo because that is a terrible

terrible photo of him he looks like he's growling at us and he's about to say something about taking our soul like he looks like the head vampire in a Dracula movie so he doesn't have a great jaw but i don't you think that he used to right like like he's older now you lose some of your chiseling as you age well i i wonder can we get a shot of young jeffrey tambour I want to know. The fuck?

I'm just seeing a defined squareness to his jaw and chin. What's the point? Where are we going with this? You asked about his jaw. In a minute, the dick's going to come out. He's going to be like, everyone could have left. This is consent. We've been talking him up for 10 minutes now she's found a uh

no it's not he's just not a sexy man for you no that guy has can we go younger early 80s you can tell he's had to look i don't understand why these rich powerful men don't don't just get high-end like prostitutes and like instagram models and chicks like that there's so many hoes out there that for like a plane ticket and like three thousand dollars worth of shoes will just come and and be dirty for you i'm told isn't that the instagram business model like all those hot chicks on there are basically like hell yeah i do find you sexy if you could fill like half my amazon wish list absolutely especially like dirty shit for them to wear and sex toys it's like i was about to bought that anyway all right but i love those i love amazon first of all and i'm on there a lot like i just troll around look at the lightning

deals and stuff and i like buying girls clothes for them to wear sometimes like like not necessarily really expensive stuff but maybe something sexy that that you know benefits us both or whatever and i'll look at the reviews for these items because you never know how something's going to fit and i discovered i've mentioned it before these these amazon models if you can call them that it's basically just customers who will post really provocative pictures of them wearing like negligees and like really tight i would really need a link to prove this for you know for science and basically what they'll do if you buy something from them for them that's on their wish list they'll post a picture of them with it and i started looking

and some of them have sex toys on there like yeah i want the big dong xxl 3000 and i want the slow rider 87 and it's i'm like do they post pictures of that too because all i can find is her ass hanging out of these booty shorts and and like swimsuit pictures it's uh it's a good time she says this is gonna take a minute do that after you find it isn't it funny like how now like on the internet in this day and age like you'll find something like not that risque

like an amazon review and you'll be like oh my god that's so hot but like at the tips of your fingers you can find the most debaucherous depraved shit but it's like you're so numb to that you're like oh no like this is a girl who doesn't have sex for money and she's still doing this like it's it's interesting I was wondering when Kyle was saying that because it sounded like he's like this is a girl who doesn't have sex for money, and she's still doing this.

Like, it's interesting. That's what I was wondering when Kyle was saying that, because it sounded like he's like, I like a girl who do. He's like, if I got her that, she'd put it on and wear it and be sexual for me. I'm like, that's a cam girl, Kyle. And then, like, Kyle's like, but I was just wondering, like, is it a distinction then because you don't assume this is who she is normally? Yeah. I'm saying in real life. I think that's what it is.

Like, I don't want her to wear it online for me. I want her to come here and wear it. There's a subreddit called Straight Girls Playing that I think is way cooler than lesbians. Like something about straight girls playing just like, yeah, we're not really gay. We're just, you know, doing gay shit is cooler in my head. And every college girl is a little gay. It just takes enough beers to get that ball rolling. Except Hope.

Except Hope. Except her daughter, but the rest of them. She's a unique snowflake in this whole situation, I'm sure. Without fail, all of the other ones. It feels like just bad management on their part in some degree. They've hired the wrong people we will do some crazy shit it feels like just bad management on their part in some degree they've hired the wrong people for their

whoever helps take care of their business and their PR and their reputation they need to be like, they gotta tell their manager this or something, I want to get off on this girl's shoes, can you get me a girl who wants that so this isn't a problem for these people because it feels like they're going for the wrong resources here, they're reaching for well, maybe I can blackmail the intern into it or fucking whatever it happens to be.

When they should just be looking up the correct – getting connected with the right people. It should be. That's what makes me think that the risque, I shouldn't be doing this nature of it is the allure to them. Because otherwise we could just legalize prostitution you know if we could get the other 50 of the population on board with voting that in and then none of this would happen right because you could just go fulfill that legally yeah especially so yeah i don't know this feels like i don't know if it has to be that the thrill of forcing on someone else for that to be the reason could be just laziness be stupidity. It could be not realizing there's other ways

to do this. I feel like there's an easier, stupider way for this to be this way. Yeah, just get yourself a prostitute. I don't get it. They're not that expensive. They're just not. A couple hundred dollars an hour. And then they leave. That's the best part. They don't sue you is probably the best part.

They won't sue you. They won't even tell anybody. That's kind of the point, right? You can do some weird shit. I can't remember the movie, but there's that scene where the rich guys are all hanging out in the hotel room, and they get the prostitute over, and they're all betting on how much money it'll take the prostitute to agree to do, like, the most fucked up things they can imagine. They don't want these sexual acts to happen. They're not going to happen. They're just betting on whether she'll agree to it.

This is a little bit like Road to Black Ops 2. He's like, I want to get in a bathtub full of Pepto-Bismol and you'll shave my legs. It's just like, whoa. She's like, $1,300. Then they all go, ah, shit. Then they're paying each other off.

That's a good time. I've been, this is a bit of a topic change, but it's still around the sexual realm. I was listening to Rogan, and they were talking about dick pills, like gas station dick pills. And they were, this thing called Rhino 7, this pill called Rhino 7. And they were saying that there rhino seven this pill called rhino seven and uh they were

saying that there are traces of like um testosterone in it and like if you take this pill you can you'll test positive for who knows what because it's made in china and they don't clean the vats well so like they'll do like a mix of fucking steroids and then they'll do a mix of like rhino seven dick pills or whatever very skeptical carry on yeah well well they went on and on about it because they and they said that I Can't remember which one of their one of their well John Jones is one of the ones who was on these and tested positive But they were also talking one of their friends was saying that it's much better than Cialis And I was at the fucking gas station a minute ago, and they have rhino sevens

I'm a little embarrassed to buy a rhino 7, but I'm very curious. It's an enormous pill. It's like a horse pill. Dude, get one and report back. Where are they for sale? I just linked it on Amazon. So I pictured it being in a vending machine in the bathroom. That's not how it's for sale?

No, no, right by the counter. Right by the counter. You never notice? You go to the gas station. I don't go in, really. Oh, well, shit. Go in the gas station sometime, like right on the counter like you never noticed um you go to the gas station especially not like oh well shit go in the gas station sometime like right on the counter they have a whole rack of like sexual aids they have uh energy pills and and like sex boosters and uh they i saw it it was like rhino seven and there's a picture of a rhino of course with the big horn right you know i didn't get that until just now the whole yeah yeah i don't think i did

either if i'm being honest and and the pill is four times as big as like uh an aspirin tablet or something it's huge i feel like i'd have a hard time getting it down but they said it was just bonkers like like effective i i i want one now the gas station by my house? Not the classiest joint. I feel like they would sell these. They've got all kinds of seedy shit at my gas station. They have porn. They have just porn DVDs in there. No cover on them.

They literally have a white cover, like paper, and they wrote in black magic marker what the theme is. It's like, black XXX. Which I guess means black girls. And it's like butts XXX. And I'm just like, holy shit, this is just as bad as like a dirty cover.

And they've got all kind of switchblade knives and big bongs and hookahs and shit. Yours might be shadier than mine. I was at a gas station once. You might have, Pete. I saw a crack pipe. Any gas station that sells hookahs. I saw a fucking crack pipe

at a gas station one time. A black pipe? A crack pipe. Oh, a crack pipe. Oh, yeah. I've seen those. Smoking crack cocaine. Or meth. It's got that ball on the end. It's completely different than a bowl. I could not believe that they sold that there. I had never

seen one in real life. I would have totally thought that was a mini bowl. Like, oh, I see, yeah, the bowl in the end. That's where the pot goes. No, because it's all glass, and that is where the crack goes. That's where you put the crack rocks. And there's a gas station in the city here that, like, I've gone to before on the way to, like, someone's place.

It's like, hey, pick up beer, and I went in, and it's owned by these Indian or Pakistani people. It's like, hey, do you up beer and I went in and it's run owned by these Indian or Pakistani people It's like hey, do you guys have beer at this fucking gas station where every every gas station has beer? Yeah, and they're like they're like no it is against our religion. We do not keep a beer here No alcohol sales here And I'm like I look down and there's an entire glass case full of hookahs and pieces for weed and crack pipes Of different sizes, you know for weed and crack pipes of different sizes you know for the festive crackhead hey I decided you know we were gonna

really go hard tonight I got a really big you know fucking mobile on the run pipe and it was just an interesting thing of wow okay see you can't sell me Bud Light at this fucking gas station but you'll sell that vagabond a glass pipe to ruin his life with so I, I don't know, you know, religion, right? Well, my gas station is Muslims, but they apparently have no restrictions because they got alcohol, pornography. If you sneak in the back, you can gamble. They've got video poker machines that take cash, which I know are illegal.

They got everything. The no-holds-barred up there. And it stinks in there. Look, it was Indian people for a long time, and I really liked the Indian people. I'm pretty sure the owner's wife was really into me. She'd always give me a look. But now, it's Muslim people. I know because their name, they applied for a liquor license to get liquor instead of beer.

And their license is on the thing. Their name is, it smells so bad in there now that I may have to change gas stations. You walk in and it hits you in the face. It's like, I don't know what it is. Are we talking about the convenience store area or the bathroom? In the convenience store. No, I think it smells like they've got slave girls downstairs without plumbing or something. It's awful in there.

It smells like curry shit. Oh, man. Well, have you ever gone to the bathroom there? Oh, God, no. I've never had the shit so bad that... That's probably the epicenter. No. No, I'd rather go outside and shit on the wall or something.

You could trace it down to the source and see what's up. Smells like there's a dead possum behind the wall that's been eating curry for a year. It's just a terrible stink. Do we need a new topic? Is there a pause there? I want some of those gas station dick pills, but I'm too embarrassed to buy them.

I do too. Maybe I'll report back and let you guys know what's up. They're on Amazon, but they're very expensive. You have to buy a five-pack or a ten-pack. It's like $40 or something. Yeah, I just ordered some. What are you expecting? They're on Amazon, but they're very expensive. You have to buy a five-pack or a ten-pack. It's like $40 or something. Yeah, I just ordered some. What are you expecting? They're on the way. Did you really? I can't tell. You did?

Yeah, because it's a funny bit. Now you've got to get some too, and we'll try them out. I'll just put them on the Amazon that the whole family uses. Hope is going to be like, Dad, are you okay? And you know the testosterone pills that we've been supposed to be taking? What does it pair with when you look them up on amazon and i forgot entirely and so i haven't taken those in a long time i haven't been taking mine either what did you say filthy

i just wanted to know when you're looking at these what are the suggested pairings customers often bought these together i remember what it was it's funny you mentioned that it was lubricant and some very provocative men's underwear like like it was like a um a jock strap that had like a pouch for your junk but it wasn't like a sports jock strap it was like a sex jock strap like a little elephant face with the trunk no i have that i have that please be right by the desk i've got that funny you mentioned it i fucking hope he has this Please be right by the desk. I've got that. Funny you mentioned it.

I fucking hope he has this. I'm digging. How many other? I have a feeling that if this was exactly. If we could get this camera to pan right and left, I suspect that's not a clean room. My underwear drawer is right here in a cabinet. These are all my undies. I have a whole bunch of collection of these.

I have the one elephant trunk. I can't find it. I'm sorry. Here's some laundry. Well, did you wear it recently? A little insight into Kyle's life. Yeah, check the dryer. And they shrink and the trunk gets all shitty. That's probably funny.

I'm sorry, I'm not coming up with them, but they're yellow and they have like a, you know, a thing of your cock to go in and they're really funny. I think they're hilarious. I mean, maybe we should all order some of those too. Well, I'm not showing those off. See if we can rip through them with

our Rhino seven that combined with bone broth is going to be devastating to whatever poor girl comes up next in this roulette of mine i'm gonna run to the bathroom but i'll show you again i showed them on pkn i got my pajama jeans like this isn't a sponsor any bullshit or anything go on amazon get yourself some fucking pajama jeans chiz and i have them now they're 40 bucks a pair they are pajama pants that look so much like jeans that you can just go out in them i would go on a date in these because i feel like like halfway through i'd be like what do you think of these jeans and she'd be like ah those are nice i like them they're fucking pajama pants and she'd just blow her

mind be a whole conversation piece but check these out I'm sure that's how that would go down. And then that would be it. They look like jeans. They do look like jeans. But I also, like, I'm not there. So I can't truly judge. Yes. I mean, they look pretty jeansy.

They actually looked more jeansy than I expected. I thought he was kidding himself all this time, but they're pretty jeansy. Phil is an expert on fake jeans. What do you think? Our resident, whatever we're talking about. That's kind of how it works. I don't know what the DSM has about fake jeans,

but I'm sure it's pretty bad. I think that's linked to pedophilia in some way. I don't know how yet. Wow, we weren't even going there. I feel like he went there on his own. He knows we'll circle back. I wonder if this senator might actually lose in Alabama now that he's coming out as some sort of kitty toucher. If they confirm it, then he probably would drop out, right? Trump didn't? Yeah, I was going to say, hasn't the face of politics kind of changed a little bit?

Is that really the impediment that it used to be? I mean, I don't know. I really don't i would just think that if they confirmed that that is true that he was creeping on 14 year olds when he was 37 that he would kind of have to drop out because i mean the trump stuff some of it's confirmed like certainly the miss teen usa pageants have come out and trump confirmed it right so that that happened um and then the miss usa you know they're adults, but same thing happened. He kind of creeped on them backstage. He said he did it

and they said he did it. So I think that's pretty much locked in. The bigger stuff, he's denied that he did what he said he did. I feel like anybody else and he'd be, in the public opinion, thought of as guilty. A lot of people don't think of Bill Clinton as guilty even now.

I didn't do it. If you say so. To me, Clinton's guilty too. Bitch is warming it. Yeah. It's like Willie. So yeah, I don't know. We'll see.

I guess maybe I'm just playing for the blue team, which I try not to be that guy. But it's like, what? You know, this Republican guy who is not good. He's a caricature of like a conservative, you know? Like if he was a conservative, like a nice kind of person trying to make America better by taking normal values, then I'd be all for it. he's that's not him he's way out to the right yeah when you brand yourself like i would you say he's the the king the grand poobah homophobe like if that's if that's a badge you want to wear around it's like even if you don't approve of it you should at least have a different rationale for explaining

it like well i'm very religious and i think that marriage is between a man and a woman not just like i i don't like them and they shouldn't be able to fuck in their own houses like what did he do he made a song parody about his conservative values and stuff like it he a song parody this is the most down of all the gays and killer if you heard it i didn't like it you You know, it was every position. It was anti-abortion poetry. Wasn't that what it was? Is that what it was? It was to his song. No, I like imagining a big show tune about disliking gays.

You know, where he's clapping, you know. Get his message to the appropriate audience. Yeah, he would. Yeah, he would. But yeah. His songs are so catchy, but I don't care for this message. There are a lot of Republicans. I'm registered independent.

I voted for lots of Republicans. I'm not crazy on the blue side. I just haven't liked the lead Republicans lately. And I studied the tax law, and it was like, man, I feel like two-thirds of this is bad and one-third of it is good. That was my takeaway from it. Yeah, I don't know too much about it yet, but I, that's kind of the feeling I'm getting is that most of like the really actual

conservative people that I follow, like Ben Shapiro or whoever are like, yeah, not good, not very good. Like they're kind of just tripping. Sorry. Did you hear that the,

that guy who shot up the church in Texas wasxas was buying animals off of craigslist to use for target practice no is that true is that how confirmed is it getting see now whatever happened to getting animals off craigslist to use on your puffy stomping porn site like back in the good old days we did it the right way this guy's using for target practice this goddamn regulation that's so fucked up. Anybody who's doing that, we should immediately have on some kind of Uber watch list where there's just a helicopter

circling. They go out to take their garbage out and the spotlight's on. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing? Alright, cool. They tried. They tried to put them on a list and then the FBI fucked up and didn't enter them into the database. I thought the Air Force said list and then the FBI fucked up and didn't enter them into the database.

The Air Force fucked up. I thought the Air Force said it and then the FBI didn't properly input it. Or is that wrong? I heard the Air Force. Oh, I'm not sure. No one hates these damn mass shootings more than gun owners. Yeah. It's like, well know aside from the victims themselves the gun owners are the big losers in this thing

i'm glad you put that little hedge in there aside from those who were personally shot it's really me it's about me that's losing in this thing you're ruining it for all of us and the victims too they're very upset as well but yeah that's the thing is like how many members of the nra have ever been involved in a mass shooting ever i don't know zero zero it's zero is it okay that's what was interesting about this most recent shooting is like a guy who shouldn't have been allowed to get a gun legally got a gun because the regulations in place failed and then the person who stopped him was an nra instructor who had his own weapon

and they chased him down i was reading about the nra recently and there was a stat that surprised me i thought nra was a powerful lobbying organization that was my impression and that if you go against the NRA, then they cut your funding off. So you need that to run campaign ads and to keep your job. It turns out the NRA actually doesn't give much money. Pharmaceuticals give something like, I forget, I'm going to mess it up. It was either 20 times more or 200 times more, but some order of magnitude more than the NRA. And in terms of who gives the most money, the NRA was like 19th on the list. There were all kinds of industries,

telecom, energy, pharmaceuticals, that gave more. What makes NRA such a powerful organization is that when they tell people this is the guy to vote for, not that guy, they do. Generally, they don't tell people to vote for the people I want.

But I do like the way they go about their business. You know, if your big thing is bicycles or something and everyone who cares about bicycles votes on that issue, then that's a good way to do it. I like that way more than the way the pharmaceutical people are doing it who just kind of fuck over their customers the nra is powerful because of their membership like and the ability to reach millions of people who are very much invested in their second amendment rights it's not because of the lobbying i saw like the same probably spreadsheet or or infographic you did where even i was i was kind of blown away too where i'm like what no this can't be right like their highest donation was 100 grand or 90 grand to some dude like that there's no way because you but once again we always have talked

about how we imagine these sums to be so gigantic and then you'll be like oh how much did they pay this you know north carolina senator to vote against net neutrality of 4800 a nice fucking sandals vacation you know like? Yeah. All inclusive. Unreal. Yeah. It blows me away. But yeah. And I like the bicycle example a lot. You know?

If suddenly bike lanes were this big issue and people were single issue voters over bike lanes, and even though they were only donating some minimal amount to the politicians, everyone votes with bike lanes on the front of their mind, that's how lobbying should work. I like that. It shouldn't be about money. Yeah, it should be based on the passion of the membership. Makes sense.

Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, truly we're the big losers in these mass shootings that have been going on recently. I wonder what Trump would have tweeted if these mass shootings happened on Hillary's reign or Obama's or whatever. Like, he would not have gone. Or if he had been here. Well, I mean, mass shootings did happen in Obama's or whatever. Like he would not have gone. Or if he had been here. Well, I mean, mass shootings did happen in Obama's reign.

What did he tweet? We could always scroll back through the times and see. What were the mass shootings under? Maybe that. Put together that. I feel like this is a great book idea. Like just all of Trump's tweets. There's a subreddit for it.

The Orlando one happened during the election and he tweeted something along like, sorry about you guys, but hey, I was proven right. Wasn't I? Wasn't I? I was right. I hate to gloat, frankly. It's not me. Sandy Hook.

Oh, that's right. Sandy Hook happened during his thing. I wonder if... Yeah, I bet Trump tweeted about that. There's an Amazon link in here. I know there's going to be some models at the bottom. Wow. Models in air quotes. These are just random girls who want to show off a little bit. It takes a good bit of delving to really find some good stuff on there,

but I have found some girls who... Once you find a good one, you'll see that she's got a whole catalog of, like, she likes to try on all the provocative stuff, lots of booty shorts and negligees. Oh, speaking of negligees, Mariah Carey called out for sexual harassment. Really? These women? Fuck them!

Yes. This culture of female assault is out of control. Apparently she's been sexually harassing one of her bodyguards for some time. Also not paying him. Owes him like half a million dollars. What? Why would he keep working there?

Well, she would invite him up to her room. She invited him up to her room and she was like, move my bags. You know, like, hey, my bags are there. Move them over there to the other side of the room. And she's wearing, like, a negligee that's, like, open, like, showing off. And I guess sort of, you know, exposing herself to this gentleman. I'm not sure I would have complained personally. But, yeah, those are the allegations against her right now.

I mean, how long do you have to not pay your bodyguard before you owe them half a million dollars? It was his 10-year anniversary. Thank you so much. I've loved having you work for me for so long. You know Kevin? He's like, yeah, at some point, though, I got to get paid. It's been so long.

It must have been ex-massad or something this guy's making a quarter million dollars a year or something but um i think it was a year or two that she went without paying him i maybe it's one of those things where like he's got a firm like well i'm sure he had a firm but maybe it's a group of uh bodyguards and like she's shorting them all or something and you know a whole team of guys that are supposed to be getting like monthly payments and she's yeah yeah that's how i would imagine i mean i wouldn't mind if mariah carey tried to reveal herself naked to me and she's no louis ck but she is fucking sexy i always thought she was overrated in her sex appeal ah she's pretty fucking hot man i don't know she's no Louis CK but she is fucking sexy I always thought she was overrated in her sex appeal she's pretty fucking hot man

I don't know she's also really famous think of the story oh she's crazy rich too oh getting her pregnant like that would be so great I think it was Nick Cannon could have asked for alimony from her and he turned it down

really yeah he could have gotten like a largeony from her, and he turned it down. Really? Yeah, he could have gotten a large amount of money. Yeah, look at this picture of her. She's fucking great. That's photoshopped and airbrushed or whatever, but still, she's real nice looking. I'm into Mariah Carey. Her left nostril is significantly larger than the right.

It's flaring. Two things. It's flaring. One, her face is literally below average. I believe if I went to the grocery store and found a bunch of people between 25 and 35, half would be better looking than her. And that body

has nothing to do with her actual body, I think. I think that's the shopped body. That's basically just her head on some hot person's body. Here we go. Here's a better picture. Yeah. I'm all about that. She's nice and thick, wide hips, big old boobies. You got those nice legs.

You know she smells good. Yeah, I'm totally fine with that. Oh, I bet she smells great. Yeah. She looks good there. She looks good there. I bet she does smell good. Yeah.

Who is that guy? Because that kid looks like, that one in orange looks like a cross between them is that her kid yeah i'd say so she's half black um for information is that his kid is that am i looking at their child together i don't i don't know nick cannon wear some weird shit that might be him i've seen him in turbans lately i yeah i don't know nick cannon yeah he's got a very angry black man kind of thing going for the last year or two. Nick Cannon, not as child-friendly as

he used to be. Okay, Chia says that's their kid. Safe to assume. I'm not good at assuming. I think she's married to a billionaire now. Either that or they're just hanging out with two children dressed like that. That's a good point. They just grab random kids and dress them as each other. Yeah, that's a good point they just grab random kids and dress them as each other yeah

that's and they all dress even i'm ready to assume at this point i can lock in on that weird weird thought have you guys seen this van life trend no van life no i'm not sure that's a trend. Is this people living in vans? Yeah. That's called poverty. Well, that's a trend amongst millennials as well. I don't have any friends living that van life.

Van life! I've got friends living van life. I've got two. So one is young and lives at home. So van life is kind of like an option he's choosing, right? Because he wants to sort of explore the world. Yeah, he didn't choose it. The van life chose him.

Well, he chose that instead of something else, down payment or whatever. His thing is like, hey, I would like to spend the next couple years checking out America and doing whatever. And I have another friend who's older. He might be 50. And he has a house, but he also has a converted van that he can do things in, go exploring and enjoy the weekends and stuff. And I think I'm like, is this what the 60s were like? Even I wasn't born in the 60s.

Can't be true. Right? Well, not in the 1860s so uh uh i just wonder like because i doubt back in the 60s everyone had a volkswagen bus right they just like some guy had one right and and and not everyone was getting ass casts or grass so you know for the hitchhiking rides or whatever. Just some people were. There were a couple people who were like, you know what? I'm going to whatever, throw away a couple years and go see the world.

I'm like, are we living in the 60s again right now? Is this a replay of this where it's not quite as extreme as it seemed? I feel like I've seen some statistics that might go with that a little bit, which is something like the millennials as a whole which i think i'm in that booked in that generation kind of is that like we're the least like least financially successful compared to like the cost of housing like ever kind of style thing i can't remember exactly what the statistic

looks like but something along the lines of like the least able to afford housing or something like that i just saw hand in hand with the van life i hear you and i think you're on to something also i i could say that minimalism as a trend right now a lot of people are into minimalism not on owning too much that goes you know like that's awfully convenient for a generation that can't buy shit but i also saw a thing that millennials were buying houses now for the first time in a while and it has the rent market scared so whatever like poor people like choosing the van life or minimalism because they're like oh it's not that i can't afford more than an ikea shelf it's that i don't want anymore an ikea shelf that's like those uh have

you heard of the movement uh men going their own way yes where it's like no it's like that big tower where it's a bunch of dudes being like, you know, I'm tired of, you know, women and fucking real feminism and all this. I'm just going to not date. And it's like, oh, wow, you're really showing them. You know, they basically, to them, all those women just had a product removed from their supermarket that they've never purchased anyway. Like, they're not going to notice.

Like, I don't know. It's like when people convince themselves that they're quitting the game when really it's like, no, you were never a participant. The men going their own way thing is interesting so i would say if they would have i don't know a lot about it to be fair if they were to tell their side of it it's like hey you know what like this marriage deal is not a good deal for the guy side like a lot of times it's me signing up to support someone for a long time and then if it doesn't work out i have to support them even after it doesn't work out because i, of course, was awful in supporting her in the first place, right? Like that's how a man going their own way would describe it, you know? Poor thing

didn't develop any job skills while she was staying at home, you know? And they're just like, hey, this is an unfair deal. I'm not going to commit to the lady side. And it's not that they don't want to fuck. They want to fuck. It's not that they don't want to fuck they want to fuck It's just that they don't want to like they're like hey you know and I'm living life with me as my top priority his men going their own way and I I look at it, and I'm it's not the way I went and I'm happy with the way I went but I Don't deny any logic in either revolving around something they don't do. It's always kind of silly, I think.

Like if their self-worth is revolving around the fact that I'm not playing into this marriage game and doing this and that. It's like, all right, then don't. You don't need to make a movement for it. Just don't do it if you don't want to. And you're also treating marriage like you're a statistician talking about generalities. Ideally, you should just be looking for that one girl. Because, I mean, wouldn't you know it? Billions of men and billions of women have been in monogamous relationships for thousands of years.

It's not like it can't work. Yeah, millions of years. Okay, let's not get crazy, Kyle. Like a quarter million years. I don't know. I wonder if there's any anthropological studies about that. Do we have evidence to support that we were in

sort of monogamous paired relationships before prehistory? By the very definition of prehistory, you would think not. But when we were hunters and gatherers, was there one big fucking caveman who had a big club and he's getting all the hoes and anybody that tried to mess around he just clubbed them down like was it like a wolf pack like like how did it work we have a primate expert taylor what do the primates do yeah i mean there's

so many different kinds of primates great you could be like the chim, where they just fuck each other all the time. That's bonobos. Bonobos do that too. Bonobos do it more as a social thing. Chimps, like, chimp females are very slutty, and so if a chimp male goes up and they just start fucking, they'll do that. But chimps are also way more aggressive than bonobos

in that. So, you know, a chimp who fucks another random female chimp, if he's not the king poobah, or he's not worthy of it it the other chimps might rip his balls off and and eat him you know whereas bonobos might be more like hey come on come on man uh stick to yourself for a bit um but humans i don't know i have no idea what we did what about apes i have a little bit i know a little bit about that but i'm it's kind of interesting. One of the things I think is the size of the ball sack is related to monogamy, right? It's the animals with the – because it's sperm competition, which is part of – The size of the testicles.

Yeah, sorry. So Wings of Redemption is a one-woman man. I've heard a lot about wings every time I've come on this show. I've never actually met him or seen anything with him. Apparently enormous testicles. That's like one of his claim to fame. He doesn't pretend he has a really, really big penis. The 6'6", as he

named it, but the testicles. The big testicles would allow him to service many women, though, so he could either have four regular-sized women, or, as he prefers, one enormous woman. Alright, now it's time for an ad read. Bad breath is nasty, embarrassing, and a major problem in both the boardroom and the bedroom.

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Yes, yes. That's the most important. I think that your breath smelling nice when you go to the dentist might even be more important than when you're going on a date because your date is probably going to smell your breath, but your dentist is 100% going to smell your breath. He's in there. I've got to say, payoff-wise,

if my dentist smells my breath and it's bad, all right. You haven't seen my dental assistant. So you're looking to combine the two then, the dental experience with the date. Oh, God, that would have been the best. She gets me fucked up on laughing gas and gives me a handjob. I'd have paid $1,000 for that.

It was $300 to get the tooth pulled. You'd have great breath the whole time as you were getting jerked off. Like pull a Louis C.K. in the dentist's office. That chair's all relaxing. There's a TV up there. Maybe a slipper 100 she puts porn on for you. That chick's ass was so fucking big. I want to go back and get more.

The rest of my teeth are fine. I'd go back and get a good tooth pulled just to go back and get more the rest of my teeth are fine I'd go back and get a good tooth pulled just to go back I'm on Kyle's team with the dentist vs date thing because with a dentist you know they're judging your oral health and your breath hardcore the whole time

and you know that they've had people in that chair throughout the day that had worse breath and so use a little smart mouth beforehand before your dentist and you can really fool them into thinking that you've been taking much better care of your teeth than you are. Alright, I don't want to mess up your ad roll for this but that logic is just ridiculous. Yeah, of course it is. It's making sense. It's just being silly. Of course, oh no, I don't want to impress my dentist. I really prefer to impress the girl that I'm trying to sleep with

About your hygiene like that's like like the goal is a checkup that you got a pass not like you're actually there for like Help like you're the doctor and they're like asking you to breathe like is this easy? Because you know before you go to the dentist you floss better than you normally floss. You brush a little longer. You want to put on a good show for them because I don't know if you've ever had that nitpicky dentist who's like,

see, you haven't been flossing. Your gums wouldn't be bleeding if you hadn't. And I'm just thinking, like, my gums wouldn't be bleeding if you were a little more careful, you cunt. I always floss. Let me tell everyone a little bit about War Dragons. Support for today's show also comes from War Dragons, a mobile real-time strategy game

where players directly control dragons to attack enemy bases. With over 150 dragons to collect, each one possessing different attack styles, abilities, and classes, players can work to create a powerful army and dominate the battlefield. Plus, you can join or create guilds to launch co-op attacks and co-op defense. Best of all, there's a new endgame feature called Atlas that just launched. Atlas is a new, fully 3D, persistent world where players can forge alliances with each other and conquer lands from those they deem enemies. Work with your teammates to build up dragon-led armies, fight for new land, and secure a lucrative reward,

all while bolstering strongholds to strengthen your positions. Just go to wardragons.com slash painkiller via your phone or tablet device to download the game. That's wardragons.com slash painkiller on your phone or tablet. It must be your phone or tablet, not on a desktop computer, so check out War Dragons today. Oh, man. Yeah, your phone or tablet, not on a desktop computer, so check out War Dragons today. Oh, man. Yeah, whenever Taylor gets back, we'll check out this link. This is really interesting, so

I don't know how closely you follow the Twitch scene, Woody, but the thing that's been sort of a part of the meta lately is there's a lot of cam whores who go on there and aren't really true gamers. They're just hot chicks who will do squats and bend over and show lots of cleavage while they half-ass play Hearthstone

or PUBG or whatever. It's more about being a PG-13 cam whore than it is about what Twitch should be about in most people's opinion, I suppose. And that's the best gamers showing off. I don't give a fuck if they're good. But yeah, the best show of people playing games. And it almost ties back to what we talked about before. There's tons of porn on the internet.

There's no shortage. It's like, ooh, this is a gamer girl that might have a nip slip. It's unintentional. It's more forbidden. Something like that, I suppose. But also, these are hot chicks. You know, they're sort of girl next door types sometimes. But sometimes they're just your regular

old cam whores who are just like being whores on Twitch for money. And there's been a bit of a rebellion to this. Because one of the things that's happening is guys who have, you know, actual gaming streams get flagged for just about anything and get their channels taken away.

They get banned from the site for a little impropriety here or there. Meanwhile, these girls are oftentimes followed by the higher-ups of Twitch, the admins, the owners and such. You'll look at their follow list, friends list, or whatever you call it, and it's all like cam whores. And these girls will actually break site rules by playing copyrighted music or being way too

sexual, like just camel toes and nip slips and all kinds of good stuff. Labia slips. Labia, pussy slips. And putting on a real dirty show, and they'll get no, nothing will happen to them at all, and so there's been a bit of rebellion and this gentleman uh his it aims to lead the revolt so if we could all queue at zero

on this video this guy is fired up all right one moment please yeah it might take a little i'm stopped at one second and he does look a little yeah I stopped at one second too alright so I went back to zero are you guys ready? yeah I'm ready I'm sick of this shit I'm sick of all the bullshit happening in this community

this used to be a god damn community of gamers, nerds, kids that got bullied, kids that got fucked with kids that resorted to the gaming world because the real world was too fucking hard too shitty I'm lonely too sad and depressing now. It's ran by the fucking goddamn same sluts that rejected us the same sluts I buffered fuck Gigabit internet wasted Did you guys have a problem? No. Mine says media cannot be played.

At 20 seconds, mine just stopped. Let me try it again. That's when he really gets in his flow. That's when it gets good. That's when he starts ranting about these sluts. They're clearly just sluts.

Taking the money. We're going, the same way they did back in the day. Fuck that. I am the goddamn fucking reality check. I am the goddamn fucking king, and I will fucking lead you. Get your goddamn sex. I got it now. It's not about me. I want everyone to know what he's saying.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. He seems a little resentful at women in his past. He's upset because Insoles was removed from Reddit. You guys don't know what Insoles is, right? I kind of got the impression that this was like a reaction for views in the same way that their response for views is the over-the-top kind of...

This guy wasn't picked on. This guy's got murker arms, right? That guy was picked on. Look at that guy. That guy's got murker arms right like that guy was picked on look at that guy that guy's got a crow magnum head like come on he doesn't look like he's advanced all the way on the evolutionary tree he's like that you know those shirts where they go from like caveman to like modern man he's a couple steps back holding that spear look at that dude maybe his shirt can barely get past his deltoids. I'm not saying... Chiz is claiming he's legit. Is he legit in the way he's keeping a persona going?

No, he's legit. He's angry. No, he's serious. And there's a lot of people who share that same view. Because it is a little... It's unfair. And when I go to Twitch, I want to see the best. I want to see... I look for the absolute best guy at the game that I'm interested in. Because I want to see the best. I look for the absolute best guy at the game that I'm interested in

because I want to learn. I don't really care about... This was the IRL category for this type of shit, right? It's girls dancing all the time and people eating food, this kind of shit. Well, no, they play games. They'll play a game and like, I don't know, I'm going to do 10 squats every time I die. And it's like, oh, well, you die every five seconds, it seems.

Your booty's just gonna get bigger. It takes her longer to do the squats than it does for the respawn time. She's never stopping. Oh, my character got shot. I'm gonna twerk every time I get a donation or something. They're just cam whores playing video games, you know, and they're not

really playing video games. Why are we against this? Why do I... Why is this a downside? Because there's another website for that. There's plenty of cam whore websites. Because they're jealous of their success. Because they're not playing the game with the rules that they invented, which is, you know, oh no, you need to sit here and try

to win PUBG to be popular. I can't believe that they're being popular through a route that I didn't take to get popular. I mean, if they break the terms of service, that's different. But, oh, they get special treatment. It's like, have you ever gone to a bar and they go, ah, $10 cover for guys, free for ladies? And have you ever seen a woman go like, ah, not I, $10 for this human being as well? And they walk in like, no, you play the hand you're dealt.

And if you get played, you know, that trump card, then you play it. don't i don't see why this is an issue i've never i never used because they're banning some people for for infractions on the terms of service meanwhile these girls get away with it scot-free and you know okay the terms of service thing i do understand because that would be aggravating is that even true though yeah like because like i know ice poseidon got banned is he still perma banned they'll know how permanent his band was but he was like twitch more than any of us have you heard of any oh yeah filthy we have an expert on twitch as someone who's not all that popular on twitch too like i could i could understand the resentment of someone doing better than you on twitch you're

doing much bigger streamer than you and i certainly would love to see some of the numbers that some of these people are pulling in this stuff but i I don't see anything inherently wrong with what they're doing. And I might be jealous of their success or want the same for me and be unable to do that because Twitch is, you know, a massively male audience with attractive females going to be a premium on that for whatnot. But I don't really care past that, right? In the sense of like, all right, this is them doing their thing. This is how they're making their subs and their money. So be it. Like, it doesn't really bother me for that i mean chis is posting in skype

here about all the tos stuff the terms of agreement if that shit is being unequally enforced sure there's some problems there but if the terms of service are banning this anyways i don't i don't really know it doesn't feel like it needs to be banned from this platform as you said we live in an age of porn and you know these are probably 18 plus streams i assume they probably flagged that way my my stream is flagged as 18 plus because i want to be able to talk about what i want to be able to talk about it you're going into something knowing what you're going into so be it like i'm not really very bothered by it kind of weird this guy is so worked up so i have to i have to assume he's just fucking with people at some level oh he's serious there's a lot of people who are just as fired up as him personally Personally, I wish that there was a 21 and upstream on there.

I wish that you could get nudity going. I wish there were chicks sitting on some kind of vibrating dildo. And like, play the game while you fuck yourself. That's what I want to see. Every time you die, your Sibian goes into level 10 or something like that. Your fuck machine gets zapped on up to 100 RPM. I want to know if that's what they do. I want to know the technical stuff behind that

to get the fucking Sibian tuned out in the broadcast because those fuckers are loud. I can't imagine that if that was part of the stream. They can never get that. I didn't know they were loud. They're loud. They're very, very loud. If you're a Twitch streamer

and these ladies are siphoning from your audience, then I could see you getting upset. I don't know. It seems like the kind of audience member this guy's talking to right now isn't watching those streams in the first place, right? Who are these girls probably competing with?

It probably isn't other gamers, really. I don't feel like that's the the theft they're they're fulfilling here it's like you know maybe porn hub should be upset about this right on some level because it's their competition it's not my competition i'm not going to pull in those channels for that reason are not going to be in my channel for that reason you see that video like this is mildly related but um ice poseidon's girlfriend was streaming on her phone and she hops in an Uber and they start driving. And then she's like, realizes the guy doesn't know her name, which he should know her name. And she's like, is this an Uber? He's like, no.

She's like, oh my God, pull the fuck over. He thinks she's a whore. He thinks he's picking up a hooker. And she thinks she's a whore he thinks he's picking up a hooker and she thinks she's getting an uber and they have this real life like weird situation movement yeah yeah yeah it's it's a it's about a one minute clip if you want to watch it i thought i want to watch that yeah that's interesting wow let's queue this up again yeah yeah i'm cute at zero zero I just wanted to like before we start this poor girl

I don't know much about why he's so hated and why his girl is so hated but she gets the hardest fucking time in YouTube comments and on his subreddit they call her a tranny they make fun of her facial surgeries

they mock her endlessly tranny they make fun of her facial surgeries they uh they mock her endlessly with the meanest cruelest shit you can imagine i bet if you scroll to the comments right now there's something horrible like extraterrestrial thought that's the third comment i don't know what a thought is uh that hot that hoe over there oh my okay okay. The next one says... The dude was looking for a trap. The dude was looking for a trap, and she's looking for an Uber. I guess they were both a bit disappointed. I guess consistent with me, I think she's pretty... Are you guys ready to play?

Yes, sir. Ready, set, play. Oh, no. I can get in the front. Hi there. Is that off? It's just a live stream. I'm not recording a video. I can't. It's like a live stream. It's not recording. Don't worry. It's not recording.

She's not being completely truthful here. I'm just talking to my friends yeah i just i'm just exploring la and so they're just watching how was your night good how was your night what's your name caroline sebastian nice to meet you Caroline. Sebastian. Sebastian, nice to meet you. You're looking for Caroline, right? Yeah, where are you visiting from?

From Washington, DC. Oh, Washington, DC. Well, I live here. Oh my God, that's awesome. Are you an Uber? No. Oh my God, drop me off. Oh my God, drop me off.

That is funny. Yeah, that's really funny. That's good shit. That guy, that Ice Poseidon guy, I wish I knew more about him and what his deal was. Do people hate him and he's a Twitch streamer? He's a heel, though. He's a heel, I guess. I saw him on Chatterbait

the other day because it made it to the front page of Reddit and he was using a Hitachi wand on a porn star who was very attractive and I was like this guy this guy knows what he's doing I think he had like 40,000 people

watching him like masturbate this girl on there and he's like alright now I'm heading over to YouTube slash gaming slash Ice Poseidon or wherever he's heading and then you know he brings a significant chunk from his masturbatory session to some sort of gaming stream or something like that like good for him yeah i i don't get why he's so hated not i maybe i just don't know something about him maybe i'm just missing it but it seems to me that like every clip i see of him entertains the fuck out of me because he's always getting into some rambunctious shit like i saw him at a restaurant and i guess people are like

not swatting the restaurant but they're phoning the restaurant and like asking for him or something because he's streaming from it and the guy comes out and he's like the owner he's like get the fuck out of here we don't want you here he's like i'm in the i'm hooked up with a mob you don't want to be fucking with us you don't be fucking with me and he's like okay sir i don't want any problems with the mob okay and he like packs his shit and leave and it's always something like crazy like that i i he seems to i i don't even know him i've hardly even seen his streams but he must not hate this deal it's not like he's buckling under all of it. He put that video out the other day, and he was like, someone is ruining my life. A terrorist is ruining my life.

He's doing this to me. He's doing that to me. This happens. That happens. Like, you know, the full gambit of things you can do to someone on the internet. I'm sure they're probably canceling his water. I had a lot of those issues, right? I'm sure I didn't rival Ice Poseidon in this, but people were fucking with me a lot of those issues right i i'm sure i didn't rival ice poseidon in this but people were fucking with me a lot every time i streamed i was like maybe the very top ddos target on twitch

people liked fucking with me more than any other they would stream snipe me always try to kill me to a point where i couldn't just play pups i had to play against people who were trying to kill me and that was just part of the deal um i got ddos not ded. I got like fucked with so much from pizza deliveries and taxis and Chinese food and you name it. That, you know, like business owners were coming to my house finding out what the fuck the deal is. And I'm like, did you just don't do it? Like, don't take it. If it's for my address, it's fake. I will pay in advance.

You know, don't do that. The police told me to move out of town. Right. That was like a big, like, I really didn't like that. Yeah. Yeah. They told you to move out. That was their solution to you like that. They told you to move out? That was their solution to you getting fucking trolled?

Swatted. I got swatted so much, the police wanted me to leave town. And I was like, I kind of pushed back against it. I was like, dude, the fuck? You're a cop. You can't just tell me to get out of town. And his boss came, the lieutenant came, and he's like, look, I apologize for his behavior.

It's not okay for us to start telling people that they shouldn't live in this town. And people will try to turn power off or water off and shit like that. Even now, like I get the fake credit cards or something like that, probably two or three times a month, opened in my name and there's all,

I imagine my credit record's kind of wrecked, which isn't a problem because I don't need any debt but uh I would have to get it all cleaned up if I ever wanted to take a loan for something because it's constant just like oh no like I don't know who that bank is I've never heard of them I don't spend any time in Washington the state like that that's where I am so ice on the other like, my impression of it from a distance was always like, oh, he kind of revels in that life. You know, I always accepted it as part of the job almost. Like, not that I liked it. Whenever I made a video, one thing I didn't like is people would watch it with a reason to dislike it.

You know, they click the dislike button. They leave a comment like, oh, this is the problem I had with this one. And it's like, man, I worked so hard on that. That represented my best effort. And you're like, ah, you know, you threw a stun grenade improperly at four and 12 seconds. And like, ah, fuck. Like, you guys just freaking watch this whole thing second by second, waiting for something that's not perfect. And like, that's your comment. And I didn't like it. It took a toll on me. And I was under the impression that it didn't took a toll on me and i was under the impression that it didn't take a toll on ice you know like chael sunnan is a ufc fighter now a

bellator fighter he seems to say it doesn't take a toll on him he's happy to be the bad guy he's happy to you know have people hate him but then again nobody does so uh i wonder where it is maybe andy kauf, yeah, I guess. There's some people who, but he was loved too, right? He's like, yeah. But was he? Or did people love Andy Kaufman, right? Andy Kaufman.

Andy Kaufman was insane. You know, like he's a really unique kind of guy. Yeah. You have to watch like a whole documentary on that guy to really even start to understand the levels of crazy that he went through with Jerry, the King Lawler and, and like, and then his performance bits and like,

like some of the shit he would do was just so bizarre, but it's a different thing to be the biggest dick you possibly know how to be. And if half the people love you, half the people hate you, then to be the best person, you know how to be and if half the people love you, half the people hate you, then to be the best person, you know how to be and have half the people love you and half the people hate you. And,

uh, you know, I, I wonder where ice falls on that spectrum. What does he do? Mostly like video game streams or masturbating porn stars or like, what is it? Why do people hate him?

What did he do? I think we're asking shiz right now. Cause i i'm in the same boat as you all i've seen is i've seen a lot of streaming i've all the clips i see of him are him like streaming in public and then the cops show up and arrest him you know stuff like that'll happen a lot she says people hate him because he's a dick. I wonder what, like, I know he's done some interesting things. Didn't he fly to China, you know, just to get a new scene? Like, that to me represents a certain work ethic. You know, he's not going out and walking in his backyard and mowing or something. He's flying to China looking to vary up his content, and that's cool, right?

When you live in L.A., there's a lot to do, Chiz says. It's a thing. I don't know i i find it interesting i i've looked for him you know like i've gone on these i just look at the wrong time i guess i don't know his schedule well in any case that's a funny fucking clip of his girlfriend getting picked up but seems like she was mistaken for a prostitute i'm pretty sure that's what sebastian was looking for there. That's pretty fucking hilarious. And I love the curb, your enthusiasm music coming in. That's good shit.

What does that stand for again? Something over there? That hoe over there. Did you ever check out 10 Star at all? I will, I promise. Yeah, take your time, you know, whatever. But I promise you, as soon as you give it I think it's five minutes is when shit jumps off.

Five minutes is all it takes to get hooked to this show. I watched 10 or 20 minutes of Stranger Things 2 and I couldn't really get into it yet. I will. I'll watch it eventually. I'm telling you, you watch five minutes of Ten Star and you're like, fuck! You know what? I didn't like the

one where the guy's friend was a vampire and he was a priest, but he's particularly good at fighting for some reason. Yeah, Preacher. Preacher, yeah. Preacher's just okay. I gave that a lot of episodes, like five hours or something. Yeah, I watched both seasons of it.

I particularly like season two when Hairstar becomes a character, the German special forces guy who like gets sodomized and he he like gets raped by by a couple men and then the next day he's like i was good i got sodomized last night and it came to me preacher just like what what the fuck and they meet they meet the descendant of jesus christ he's like this is the messiah child and

the preacher like falls down on his knees he's like all my life i have waited for this moment and like jesus steps at the the messiah child steps out of the uh the uh shadows and he's all like fucked up retarded like his teeth are all crazy like And starts pissing on preacher And the the hair star is like just like any Pomeranian or royal bloodline inbreeding it has been a problem Who are they inbreeding with to get Jesus not following well You know they flash back to Jesus getting laid, you know, like at one point in the show. So you see that Jesus had this child with another man's wife. And I guess they, you know, maybe bred him with his sister or something.

Jesus sounds like an asshole in this situation. Well, it came off nicer than you might think. I mean, you know. Yeah, it sounds like it did. It sounds respectful. It can't come off much worse. She was asking for it, you know. She wanted it.

And Jesus was like, all right. She was like, that was my first time. She's like, really? She's like, well, that's the first time I ever cheated on my husband. And they're like, oh, good shit. Let's keep mom about this. And, like like you know the disciples show up and jesus leaves with them and uh and then when she has the child like they

go and bash her brains in oh i remember when that episode aired because all those christians stormed down the amc uh management building murdered a bunch of people yeah no that was that french cartoonist in Muslims. My bad. I got mixed up. That's how they roll. They do roll that way.

I mean, you see, I heard that one of those acid attack victims euthanized himself the other day. That was a real sad story. One of the people who got acid attacked went to one of those euthanasia clinics and died. That's really sad. I can't blame them.

If I got acid attacked, I think I'd euthanize myself as well. So they went to a clinic and committed suicide? Yeah, they hook you up to an IV. What country is this? Probably the Netherlands or something. Doesn't this seem like a Netherlands thing?

They'd be so open-minded. It's a little difficult and you just need to check out. One time I ate so many pot cookies I found myself in the chair there before I started to come out and thought, not today. No, thank you. That's good shit. That's really sad, though.

Those acid attacks are the most horrible things to hear about. You can't go on living looking like Freddy Krueger. I mean, you got one day a year when that shit's going to work out. Halloween, you put on your fucking striped sweater and your hat and your knife glove and you're the tail of the town. And even then, that's one year because they go,

hey, hey, Kyle, Freddy Krueger again. We thought four Halloweens in a row was a lot, but you're a fortune head. Don't you want to be Jason or something? You can wear a mask. I don't have any lish.

Don't give me shit. That's so sad. I couldn't go on living without a face, though. I just couldn't. I couldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I'd just kill myself.

I shan't. I'd go park my car in the garage and get good and drunk and just go to sleep. Yeah. And, you know, that would be cheaper than going to the Netherlands and... What does price matter? Put them on your credit card. Right. The fuck?

I'm going to say accept credit card. They should. They'll get credit card. No, it's fucking check your money order. No payments for the first year. I'm down. The van life topic didn't go anywhere. I'm trying to make heads or tails of it.

I guess what I'm thinking is I did the exact opposite. In my van life days, I was working during the day, going to school at night, and I got married at 23, I think. I had kids at 26. And so I was the opposite of this. And on the other hand, I can see the other side of it too. And to me, it's a popular YouTube genre, so that's my insight into what the kids are doing now.

Is this a good idea? Is this a bad idea? It's like a badass gap year to me. It's a bad idea. I think you should live in it. Because you gotta buy the van and those vans are expensive. They make it. I like the idea of doing something ridiculous and going on

an adventure like backpacking through Europe or something. That sounds like sort of in the same cloth of ideas. Following the Grateful Dead around for a year, whatever. Following a band from tour date to tour date, if you're really into it, that'd be fucking cool. I remember when I was like 20, I was talking to my roommates about going on a crazy road trip. And we were plotting this ridiculous path throughout the contiguous United States where you'd hit the most amount of landmarks and states and stuff. And we had this idea of renting a van or a bus or something like that.

And that sounds fun, too. But you've got to have some bitches. The more I was thinking about i'm like i don't want to be in a band with two lithuanian dudes touring the country that that's just gonna get old they're gonna be arguing back and forth and lithuanian and i'm just gonna be sitting there awkwardly like a you know fucking driving it's just not gonna be cool if you had some girls involved but but i you know it'd have to be that you gotta have girls involved or it's no fun yeah suddenly you have some girls involved and then you're like there's there's three couples you need a little bit more space with you know, it'd have to be that. You've got to have girls involved or it's no fun. Yeah, you have to have some girls involved. And then you're like, there's three couples.

You need a little bit more space with, you know, three people doing this and girls involved. Before you know it, you need a house somewhere. Because you've run out of fucking space in your van to do this. I don't know, man. I hear you. I don't know. I'd be a decent-looking chick who's down with living in a van with you. Get back to me.

It's not going to work. It's hard, right? But it's definitely, one of my friends is doing that. He's got a good looking girlfriend and they're going to go do this thing for a while. We'll see how it works out. But I don't know.

I think it's better than backpacking, right? Because it opens up your horizons a little bit. Backpacking, you're very limited. And it's like, yeah, it turns out I spent like nine-tenths of the time in Paris, just in that same goddamn city because who wants to walk to Versailles or I don't know. But with the van life, it's like, yeah, you know, we went to Monument Valley. We woke up with the sunrise against the giant rocks for over a while. Then we went to San Diego and stayed on the beach for a bit.

Where do you poop? Where do you shower? Okay, so typically in van life, they like the more isolated areas and they just poop outside. You know, a bucket with a bag in it and you throw the bag away or whatever.

Some people have like a cartridge toilet that they'll put in the van but to me to me that's not appealing i would rather find a restaurant or a non-populated place than to carry my poop around that that to me is it is not something i'm down for um but yeah so there are bags of shit sitting in the woods all across this great nation of ours because of this... Do you need a bag? I don't know. When I'm hiking, I just bury it. I just think girls might want buckets, you know, because they're so classy. I don't know.

I mean, unless you got... Milady, the snacker bucket. I hear you're a Pick a baby wipes. I'm sure your ass won't smell horrible when we fuck later. And we're on a rationing system, so a one, a two, a two. You know? Yeah, yeah. I hear you.

I understand these things. We have to make it to Albuquerque on this six more swipes. I am not going down on you ever again. Oh, yeah. You just smell like poopy Toys R Us. There's a little bit of toilet paper stuck to your asshole. I'm not going down on you ever again. The whole van life, traveling house, RV thing, no appeal to anyone here.

Oh, no. Everyone finds this completely unappealing, this idea. It's awful. If you had a quarter million dollar RV, yeah, let's go. As long as somebody else drives that bitch and parks it and stuff.

That's the only way i could do it because like i've been in one of those things before and it's like a home away from home those things legit with like full-size toilets and like not a full-size shower but like a shower that you could get clean and and be satisfied with your cleanliness like you're not gonna like la la la la wings would never fit in it but we could get clean we'd be happy go about our fucking day and if you put a full-size queen bed in those things you turn sideways full-size television you get satellite you know everything you could want is there i know a guy who lives in the trailer version of that the like you tow it not a permanent trailer

but you know the ones that require those big diesels and the five i would i would prefer you know the the big daddy model the john daly special thing that he has you know the golfer he showed his off on like a redneck version of cribs like cmt behind the man kind of show you've talked about it a couple times yeah yeah it was real cool you know i cool. I could do that, but I can't live in a van. I couldn't do it. The thing is, the van, if you're 25, you can actually do that. You can't have a quarter million dollar RV. That's just not something you can have.

Could you rent one for like five grand a month? No. I don't know. So I looked into it. I've looked into either doing a conversion. The thing is, I go on these little trips, right? In January, I have a week coming up where I'm going to this paramotor. They call it a fly-in, but you drive there and fly together.

And it's like, oh, yeah, everyone shows up with their RV. Some people have converted trailers. And I thought about doing it. My wife is totally not down for it. The biggest obstacle is it becoming a yard ornament, where like, yeah, I've just got an RV sitting in eyesight, slowly corroding away in my yard, and it's not mowed well around. Anyway, but I looked into renting one, which solves that problem, right? Renting their cheapest rv the the ones that

are kind of just converted vans is something like 2500 a week and i'm just like fuck like hotels are cheaper yeah and like if you're a 25 year old who has enough money to buy a quarter million dollar rv palace like that's still stupid like you're not building any equity in this it's a vehicle at the end of the day it's not gonna like it's depreciating each and every day but what if you're a 25 year old who can scrape together 10 grand for a van and then put two more in it so now it has like mattresses folding off the side and some solar charging and a gas stove and a heater and stuff and i mean still, if you got 10 grand and then you got, let's say you got 12 grand,

like that scenario, that's enough to get a decent apartment for a while and give yourself some time to find work and get your money situation figured out. And then you're also, you have a toilet and you have shower and you have a kitchen, a real kitchen and I don't know. But you don't have like an experience

that makes you emotionally richer. Yeah. I mean, I saw some of this when I was doing, when I did the outdoor rock climbing. I see that some of the people who are traveling from place to place and they often have,

some of them have these converted van things. A lot of them don't, but some of them do have this type of thing and you do see that occasionally. And it's never really appealed to me. I get the sense of, you know, you can go do what you love and you can live, you know, kind of cheaply for this.

And you can see all these places and, you know, traveling across the U.S. doing all these great climbing sites. And that's kind of cool sounding. But I think it takes a kind of special kind of person to make that work. So I'm kind of surprised this is a bigger movement. I haven't really heard much about it. Like, is it that widespread? I'm kind of surprised. It's hard to tell, right?

It's all they talk about. You might be right. Have I mentioned that I live in a van? So I'm laying on my back, healing my broken leg. I watch a van life video, then another one, then another one,

and suddenly my feet is full of it. In my opinion, it's like the 60s again. And it might just be I have a very distorted look on the millennials. There's very few of them living van life. Jesus, I suppose, I mean, I don't know what the size of these channels are, but I suppose that very distorted look on the millennials. There's very few of them living van life.

I don't know what the size of these channels are, but I suppose that's one way to fund it. Would you date a girl? Imagine. Probably not hard. Would you date a guy? You're treating me like I'm filthy here. I didn't address any of that in particular. I'm an expert on this, too.

Don't worry. You just went straight to it. I did say. Oh, God. So address anything in particular. I'm an expert on this, too. Don't worry. You just went straight to it. I did say. Oh, God. So I'm a girl. Would I date a guy who lives in a van? Yeah. You would.

So I live in a van. I'm 35. I'm divorced. And I live in a van down by the river. See, now that's the thing. It's the rest of the picture, right? What if this guy is 25 seems to have his head on straight but also has a sense of adventure and it's like ted bundy type

good looking you know it's like he's gonna be strong arms superficially charismatic superficially charismatic and smart right i i honestly think iq is a huge predictor. IQ is a predictor on success, right? I see people do – I did poorly in high school, right? But eventually somebody with the right personality characteristics are going to land where they're going to land. And, you know, so if I see potential in this guy, even though he wants to go rock climbing for two years then i would give i might yeah no if i were a chick and some dude is like oh yeah like i'm so glad we've been getting along at the bar and having fun you want to come back to my place i'd be like oh yeah maybe sure i'm not usually that kind of girl oh it's right out here you know and then he goes all right well i have to run back and tidy

up real quick it's on sixth and hanley it's the ford windstar in british racing green all right i'm gonna get uh the constable you know to escort me there like no that no there's not if no i would not be cool as a chick dating my lady no way the button and the door slides open automatically oh handicap access you know Take my hand and help me in. Who's the guy who's the best free climber to have ever lived? He's at the top of his game right now. Alex Hammond? An old?

Does that guy slay or not? I don't know. He probably does not get good feedback when finger banging girls with those rock climber hands. Ow! Jesus! Did your blister just good feedback when finger banging girls with those rocks by my hand. With those claws. Ow! Ow! Jesus!

Did your blister just pop inside of me? Get some lotion! Your blister just popped inside of me. I bet he gets some weird positions though, right? Like he's hanging on to the ceiling fan like inverted and stuff like doing crazy stuff. He's probably got those grips all over his bedroom so he can get into some crazy Spider-Man position.

Bedroom? You mean the Econo line? Yeah, in his van. He lives in a van. I'm telling you, man, nobody's getting pussy in a van. That's what George Costanza's parents had. Remember that when they had the van? If you see the van rocking, don't come a-knocking or whatever. I don't see a-knocking or whatever.

I don't see this being a thing. If a hot chick invited me to her van, I would be like, let me just get us a hotel. Get out. That would be a showstopper for you? I wouldn't fuck in her van. An hour ago, you were talking about the joy of sex outdoors. Outdoors. Oh, my God. You can open the window. You can about the joy of sex outdoors. Outdoors. Oh my goodness.

You can open the window. You can be fired just like the outdoors. That's all I need to do is get caught fucking in a van. That's the other thing. I don't think it's legal to be fucking in that van. I bet it is. I'm not really sure. I think if the constabulary walks by,

Johnny Law's a-knocking on the window, all of a sudden you're a sex offender for fucking in your van down by the park because there's a playground adjacent 80 meters away. Well, they're all able to black out the windows. They need to sleep in. Oh, now it's a safety hazard. No, they make special curtains. Step into my dark van. I don't know. I certainly get this.

I think it's – living in a van makes you ugly. Can you get laid? Yes, but you're playing this on veteran mode, right? I think that's the takeaway. Okay. I'll buy that. And I think, you know, like any of these short times, you call them a gap year. I haven't heard that expression before, but I think I know what you're talking about.

I do think that that's an interesting thing to do. I haven't heard that expression before, but I think I know what you're talking about. I do think that that's an interesting thing to do. And the people who follow through with those and go do something kind of weird like that are gaining something in their lives. I think that's something pretty cool. Emotionally richer. Yeah. I mean, it definitely never appealed to me to do that.

But I prefer to travel and travel with actual money so I could do things like I wanted to do and take planes as opposed to fucking driving or whatever the hell it's going to be for this stuff. But at the same time, I could see that being kind of cool for a while but i'm kind of curious how long does van life go on for is this like they're doing this for a year or two or is this like 10 years later they're still on publishing van life episodes you know whatever i don't think anyone goes past two or three years i think i think if they do it for a whole year they've done it if they do it for three then year, they've done it. If they do it for three, then they lasted more than most. Yeah. And I'm afraid everyone's going to try to analyze me like I made a big mistake. I feel like if my life was a 20-sided die, I rolled like an 18 or a 19.

When you do that, you don't re-roll. I'm pretty happy with the way things went. But it doesn't stop me from being like, huh, I wonder what the other rolls were like. What's Woody like if he had two years in the like huh i wonder what the other roles were like you know what would what's woody like if he had two years what's slumming it's like hey i've said it before you're only one you're only one tragic accident away from being a band man it sounds like to me just one one 10 star opening sequence away from hitting the road i'm telling you got to watch 10 star for those who are listening i recommend 10

star very strongly like just give it it's it's on amazon it's fucking free give it 10 minutes your time you're gonna you're gonna get latched it's fucking good i've got amazon but uh anyway i'm glad we covered that as a topic my i appreciate it yeah me too yeah it's it's not for me i i i want to look up how prevalent it is now. I'm curious. It can't be very prevalent, but I'm sure that it's like the vegans. Dozens of folks are doing this. Eight or nine people.

Some of them optionally. There's a popular subreddit for it. The first page only goes nine days old. Let's look at these degenerates. I haven't looked yet, but I bet they don't look clean. Oh, you think the people who post on van life aren't clean one issue is okay this is what i would not the second post on there right now is mother and daughter convert old vw bus are they traveling together because that would be immediate that would immediately kill any gap year if you're doing this with your parents too many of these are YouTube videos, so they're not right for the show. Look at this

thing. They take the van, they put wooden siding. This guy doesn't know how to trim, but whatever. They live in... The mom doesn't either. It looks nice. Oh! I went to top all time and then just opened all the images. The second all-time

post is just moved in. Been living in my van for three weeks second all-time post is uh uh just moved in been living in my van for three weeks now full time learned a lot in that time and had to make some additions mostly for warmth yeah does that sound like someone having fun that they two days in i've never slept in a my friend who has the van, he just figured out heat. So first of all, before he put all the paneling on, he insulated it. I saw it. I saw progress pictures.

So, you know, you go to Home Depot and you buy that, like, foam board stuff. And he's got insulation on every wall, ceiling, floor, et cetera. And then he has, like, an alcohol stove. And I don't know if you can use those without dying like all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had one of those in my boat. Yeah, those are legit. Is it?

They have those on boats. Yeah, yeah. Does it not give off carbon dioxide and kill you? I don't think so. Mine didn't. He says he can heat his van for – I like that. A callback to the suicide.

This is just the next step of that. This is the U.S. version of the – He tested it last night. If you turn it one notch above high, that's euthanasia mode.s version of this he tested it last night if you turn it one notch above high that's euthanasia mode he says last night he tested it so this is north carolina in almost mid-november and he can heat his van for a dollar 58 a night you know something next to free basically did he also like put a pen there just to see if like it lived through the night? He tested it with himself. Always keep Mr. Cluckers right here. Dude, I envy his van.

I wish I had his van. Finally getting lucky in the back of my van and my van canary freaks out. We've got to get out of here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm getting dizzy already. Wake up.

We've got to get out of here. But I look at this. Come on. Oh, no. That's another thing I gave you because I'm a van man. I went back to his van. I was going to go into his van. And then I fell into a coma from the fumes in his van.

He raped me. This is what's going to be coming out. You would cause me. All of a sudden, you're the wind star rapist. You're terrible. No. Van life gets dark. So, no, that one's not.

I like what Taylor did go to the top pictures because you kind of see what they're like on the inside. Yeah, yeah. And every so often people don't use a van. I saw a guy do it with a Toyota Prius. I was like, what? What a fuck. Calling your van minimalist because I'm having a face to put a bunch of stuff in there

is like saying I'm having a minimalist lunch and take a picture of a Lunchable. You're using what's provided. The little amount of space. I can't imagine imagine this is anybody out there lived in a van please tell us you know you stopped and when you got off drugs and anybody been on hard times before there's something in this there's probably dozens of people in appalachia right now like sunday i'm like i'm getting out of this man i ain't living here forever. You know, they're on the right track.

But it's a bunch of, you know, San Francisco hipsters. They're like, you know what, man? Like, why do I need more than a van? That's a title group passing in the night. I started looking at Eurovans. So Volkswagen, of course, they make the VW bus. Everyone's seen it. You might know.

Some people might not know. A lot of them came equipped with, like, a sink, they make the VW bus. Everyone's seen it. You might know. Some people might not know. A lot of them came equipped with like a sink, a stove of some sort, and the tops popped up and became a little tent. And I was like, this is ready-made. Maybe I'll do this. And it would save me the whole conversion, and it would be less of an eyesore, and it might have some resale value. I just thought it would be easier to get past the spousal unit but they're expensive you know like the new ones are

like 85 grand the old crappy ones are like 17 grand like you hold your value way too well i got it you rent a u-haul like on it's always sunny in philadelphia you just retrofit the fucking back of it and you and you just let the door up a little. You can grill out in there. You can set up a bed. That's how you do this. U-Haul it up. Rent a U-Haul. Yeah, they're cheap.

You're supposed to build a room in the back of it. Yeah, you build a room. You disassemble when you're done. You don't drill any holes in it. What if the room was solid and I just used the tractor to slide it into the U-haul every time i rented modular bed stove little tv over there stuck to your feet put the pallet sounds like hell sounds like hell and i i the things i value in my day-to-day life or cleanliness is number one when i when every day like if i if i wake up and

then go and do like some yard work whenever i do get that shower ah i can't tell you that's that's the best thing about that day is that hot shower and the and the soap and the suds and the shampoo and the loofah and and getting all scrubby dubby and then coming out and drying off and being like ah i feel so fresh and clean and my asshole doesn't itch. You're talking about the opposite of that. Wet wipes will get you there. No, I need a good cleaning. I'm on a much worse diet than you.

I need two or three gallons of ice cream a week. I lost everybody. It's a Jamaican mudslide. I lost everybody. It's a Jamaican mud slide. It's rough. And you need the confidence knowing there's a shower with plenty of water nearby because you want to feel clean.

You don't want to feel like you're going to bed that night in the back of a fucking van with a poopy asshole. Here's a topic right here. Thoughts about the hashtag van life movement sweeping the damn nation.

It has 14 upvotes. You can't deny this movement. Yeah, we're sweeping the nation. They should rename this movement. You can't tell me what to do, dad. The two people I know have their act together. I bet their parents aren't happy with it. Like 72 years old.

You'd get it together by now. It sounds like the stepbrothers too. It's just like, I can't. I get it, I guess. But for me, it has to be an adventure you're going on. It can't be a new way of life. You can't be like, oh, yeah, he's parked outside. We're going to do this for six months.

We're going to travel to these locations, and we're done. The van's fucking gone at that point. It's a road trip. I think we're focusing too much on van life and not enough on the point of the van life, which is road trip and ski. We're going to hit all of these major ski slopes in North America and Canada. Canada is North America. We're going to hit all

these ski slopes. We're going to hit all these whitewater rapids, or we're going to hit all these national parks. The two people I know are both doing it that way. One's 50 and owns a home, right? I think he's 50. Something like that. This is just a way that he does his road trips.

You know, we used it last weekend when we went to the beach and it was too windy to fly back. We all loaded up in his van. It was kind of neat. It had a mattress. It was fun. The other one's young and just like he lives at home and now he's going to augment that with long road trips. So that's not too much different than we're talking about. Neither of them are living the homeless lifestyle.

They're just dabbling in it. I mean, I guess you could live van life as you're waiting for your parents to pass away and take their house. I mean, I suppose this is one way. This is thinking long term, really, on some people's part. Get a little fed up after a while. You invite them in for a dinner on the alcohol stove. That's right. On the alcohol stove.

Just hang out in there. Why are you taking that bird with you? I'm going to wash him. You just hang out in the van for 35 to 45 minutes. I'll be back. If you start to feel sleepy, don't fight it. I admire both of them for their sense of adventure. It's really not a lot different than me.

I hiked on the John Muir Trail I just did a portion of it But the people who did the whole thing Beginning to end It's like a three month thing And those people are living in the woods Who's got three months to hike? That's impressive to me

If you organized your life in such a way That you could spend three months hiking You've done a thing That's true If I was like, hey, I'll be back in fucking march like see ya like like i feel like most jobs are gonna be like all right well you're coming back to no job and i'm gonna live in a van haha beat you to it i'm already living in it i want to know how many minutes into that first night as you get in your van bed and you look up at the ceiling seven inches

from your forehead. How long into that? How many exhales before you go, oh, oh, oh, I have made a grievous oversight. The first part. The first part. It doesn't even have to be yours, right?

If there's two of you. The first part. That's when you realize you've made a mistake let me uh let me let me squeeze in an ad read here okay because uh lyft knows that their drivers are what keep them moving so they do everything they can to make sure that their drivers are happy on every trip it's a simple formula happy drivers mean happy pastors maybe that's why nine out of ten lyft rides get a perfect five star rating you can earn hundreds of dollars a week plus tips if you want to earn more money just drive more it's never been easier to give yourself a raise. Lyft was the first ride-sharing platform with tipping built right into the app because getting tips shouldn't depend on your

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lyft.com slash pka. Limited time only. Terms apply. Check them out. $200 million. Get your piece. That's a lot of money. I had something I was going to say. How many vans could you buy with that? What was I going to say?

I don't know. You could just buy a house instead. I'm sorry, Kyle. What were you saying? I had a topic that I was going to go to after that, and I fucking spaced on it. I have one. We can do it in the meantime if you want.

I Kevin Spacey'd on it. I grabbed it. I grabbed its underage genitals when no one was looking. Damn it. Here it is. And then I came out as gay as a smokescreen this is a a looping gif so it's hard to watch it like in in oh yeah i've seen this yeah i'm a little trouble torn on it yeah she's definitely in big trouble so so for people

watching there's a girl in a stadium and they're like picking her up she slaps a cop in the back of the head and he punches her in the mouth chin and by the way the cop is a very strong guy like he's he probably weighs 240 then he's a little muscle little fat and he just decks her lays her out and i think she's unconscious yeah she definitely goes limp after the punch. What did she do to get carried out? Disorderly conduct. She's displaying it in space. She was acting a fool. She's acting a fool, and when they tried to carry her away,

she ineffectively sort of swatted at the top of the cop's head. She slapped him in the head. Yeah. She gets a nice punch in the face that he knocked her out is it her eye yeah there you go is that a police force or a security guard police sheriff's deputy i think and i don't know how to yeah they've got guns feel about it

i'll tell you that my very first reaction was kind of a misogynistic hey equal right equal lefts you know like you you're to hit a cop, that's what you get. And someone in the comments, he wasn't American, was like, American cops are trained to respond to every indiscretion with maximum violence. Right? Like, it doesn't matter what happens.

It can be this 135 pound girl barely touching the back of your head with her pinky finger, and the cop just knocks her the fuck out. Like, if you're on audio only, picture a 240-pound big, strong cop punching her in the face and knocking her out cold. Was it slowed down at all, too?

She looked almost like she looked inebriated to me. I think that's the root cause. They're all drunk. You can see at the end, the best part of the gif is there's a guy there who's clearly also drunk who's just been watching the game and he's just holding the beer and you can see his drunk eye. That was fucking crazy.

I'm going to Snapchat about this. I'm all for this. I say pussy fast and you hit a cop, you get fucking slammed. It should be like that. I'm glad she got knocked unconscious. She's fine. Look at her. Her eye's a little blackened.

I mean, she's okay. She's fine in the end, but, like, I'm on Woody's side of the, you know, equal rights, equal lefts. It's like, well, no, women are weaker. They are smaller. If, like, if a midget or dwarf or whatever comes up to me at a bar and starts, like, fucking with me, I'm not going to be like, all right, fucking equal right equals equal left, little person. I'll be respectful of what you want to be called, but I'm going to beat your ass. Like, I'm not going to go whole hog on this midget. I'm going to push him away.

I would beat the shit out of a midget. Your response to a man assaulting you in public versus a woman doing it should be a little different. Like, you should try, I think, a little harder to deflect the woman, whereas with a guy, you should be able to just go all out. Yeah, women are people, and midgets are people too, Chiz. They're just little people. We've all seen the show. They're less of a person, though, literally.

I don't know. Like I said, my initial reaction was like You know what? She went to hit a cop She shouldn't be treated differently because she's a woman And then it was like, even if that's right I don't know that a guy should be treated that way I have my head Let's go back to our scan, the Navy and police

That they would be like, whoa, whoa Like, you're acting a fool You need to get yourself sorted out If a policeman could use their words or or like hey she doesn't really look like she's gonna be listening to words very well maybe they say oh they're literally four of them carrying her out she's not like having a discussion about that could have been called an attempted strike and maybe the answer to an attempted strike is handcuffs right I also agree with that.

The proportional response seems totally out of whack here. It feels like you've threatened that. Exactly. The threat that she posed was so minimal with that attack. She slapped his bald head. Barely. Barely. And it does not hurt.

No way that hurt. No, I can't line up with you on that one. You watch this near miss. I'm watching it again. She slapped him in the head now. Let's see. Oh, no, no. She comes with the backhand in the face.

She missed the first time, and she kind of clipped his face. Then she backhands him in the face. Oh, yeah. She needs a good quacking. I'm glad he hit her. Do you think? Let me watch this one more time. She hits him so hard.

She's a forehand,hand misses goes over his head and then she backhands him like in the jaw so hard his face snaps to the right and then he comes back with a punch it's not that i want cops to be like civilian punching bags or something like that's not what i'm going for but i am asking them to respond somewhat keeping in mind the perceived threat you know that's not very measured at all he literally could take her out with one hand and it would be a wildly lopsided fight yeah well he had three other people but if if we put him in the octagon we tied his ankles together and gave him one hand he would hop over there and beat the fuck out of her i'm convinced of it oh i want to now. My money would be on him every time.

Welcome to handicapped ultimate fighting. So I just – the way it was written in the comment really struck me as like, yeah, why do American cops respond like, oh, is there a dog on the other side of a fence barking at you? Shoot it. Is there a guy moving too quickly like i'm i'm sympathetic you know to the threat he poses she didn't pose any threat she didn't pose any threat at all except to his ego and he knocked her out yeah the argument like the the point for this one isn't the man or woman thing it's all just the level of danger yeah like and there's no level of danger here oh you do immediately wonder like what else went into that was this like a response was this i mean that that looked really uh instinctive that

response almost he got slapped he just immediately responded didn't look calculated in a sense but you do wonder yeah going into it like yeah no i wasn't wondering that but i was wondering kind of like how you know they got her to the point they're carrying her up this is the edge of the the stadium you know the entrance to the stadium they got her to. So hypothetically they've carried her from somewhere. She's been resisting the entire time. She probably didn't go willingly. So in other words there's probably been some ramp up up to there and I kind of wonder then

is this his frustration breaking out or is this just total instinct response to being hit? I bet it's probably some frustration. Yeah, that makes a slightly different story. Oh, I know. I was story. So I don't know. Oh, I know.

I was going to do this AMA question. This guy's asking about your motorcycle. He says, Woody, where'd the motorcycle go? If you still have it, are you going to make any moto vlogs? And Kyle, this is the reason I wanted to do this one. Would you ever get a motorcycle? I'll go first if you want me to, or you can. I'll just go real quick.

Yeah, it's getting to be woody motorcycle season again. I'm one of those guys that wears all that protective gear, and the summer was just freaking sweltering hot. Every day I've been, like, it's rained in the past couple days. But, yeah, I do intend to break that thing out shortly. This is my time. Well, you definitely should wear the protective gear. I'm glad that you do.

No, I can't see myself ever getting a motorcycle. First of all, I really admire them as a piece of machinery. I think they're one of the coolest looking pieces of machinery there are. I don't know much about motorcycles, but I've seen literally hours of YouTube

videos of guys on various kinds, and I find them really sexy. I really like them. They go so goddamn goddamn fast but the thing is the videos I watch are motorcycle crashes so I've seen so many people eat shit on crotch rockets and go barreling down highways at 200 kph or hitting guardrails at 60 70 miles per hour and go flying or hitting you know sometimes it's not even their fault. You know, sometimes a car just turns in front of them and they hit a fender and they go flying.

Sometimes a car pulls in front of them and they hit it in the boot, in the trunk, and they end up on the roof of the car all caught up. And the really fun videos are when guys, like, they get cut off, the biker does, and he punches the mirror off their car. There's a whole montage of that. I like that. So I've ridden motorcycles for a long time, since I was 17, actually. And if you sort of adopt this everything's your fault philosophy, I think that gets you pretty far. You know, every intersection you go through, even if you have a green light you should be looking for people making mistakes that's a motorcyclist's responsibility you know yeah they shouldn't

be making a left on you but understand that you're practically invisible so even with my bright green helmet and coat and all that stuff the one that gets me is the rear ended at the stoplight like that's just oh yeah and it happens like and you're like you can't really avoid it yeah now there are people who are like always leave it in gear look at your rear views ready for that dude i don't think i do that well you know i i'm vulnerable to getting rear ended and and there's a lot to track right you know if you're going to pull out in the intersection instead of getting rear ended then you're you're making a choice here right like you know what's in the intersection there's a lot to watch, right? If you're going to pull out in the intersection instead of getting rear-ended, then you're making a choice here, right? What's in

the intersection? There's a lot to watch. They're dangerous. There's no doubt about it. And compared to a paramotor, the accident stats are worse. Oh, yeah. There aren't cars up there, too. Yeah, yeah. I would text and fly any day.

Yeah, you're up there by yourself. And the thing about a paramotor is usually the problems are your fault, right? Like there's some skill you should have been better at. There's a decision you should have made. On the motorcycle, it can just really not be your fault. You could be stopped at a red light. But I do love them so. Chiz, find a brutal video of somebody getting rear-ended on a motorcycle.

It'll take half a second. Filthy, I know you cycle. Do you cycle around public roadways, around vehicles and stuff, or do you go to the park? You do. Is it scary sometimes? Yeah, I guess. I'm always surprised by the fact that I live through that, honestly.

I cycle on one of the prairie paths around here, which are, some of them are converted railways, and some of them are just paths maintained by the towns, but they cross major roads all the time and there's been all sorts of fucking shitty near misses with that with people who don't see you or don't stop for you i had one i remember like the the crossing some shitty intersection on this route and uh there's this you know i get my walk signal so i'm going across in the thing and it's like someone's jumping the end of their light and like they come close enough and a guy comes he's a huge piece in this pickup truck

going super fast like I slam on my brakes I don't get hit by that I'm like are you fucking kidding me I said that out loud and he responded as he's going by he's like I can't I can't remember exactly what it was right now but he's like that happened or something like that like there's some like total like not apologetic total like fuck you thing as he almost killed me with his vehicle and i'm like wow wow that's the mentality i'm doing consequences are are so uh are so much different for him than you he gets like a 300 dent in his truck there's also a thing about cycling he has to go to prison though yeah that there are a lot of drivers who feel like you shouldn't be on the road. At least motorcycles.

Most people understand motorcycles are a motor vehicle and they belong on streets. A lot of them, I want you to ride on the sidewalk. Really? Really? Because I go, like, I don't, but I would assume you often go 25 miles an hour. Are you supposed to do it on the sidewalk? Exactly.

I don't like sharing the roadways with a cyclist if i'm being completely honest like like i've driven through like parts of east atlanta where they have their own little lane you know and it it's like oh my god like like if the cycle wasn't there i already have to dodge oncoming traffic and cars that that are parked in the roadway so there are times when that's a complication and now there's this guy over there whose life I'm responsible for because if I hit him he's fucking dead because he's

just sitting there on a piece of aluminum and carbon fiber over there when I see a cyclist I'm focused on it because the last thing I'd ever want to do is hit that guy like I can just imagine how much it'd fuck my car up so it's... There should be some bigger guy.

Yeah, right? I don't know. You've never seen a fat cyclist? I'm not a hunter, guys. Some of you guys must be, right? What's the weight of a deer? Like, what does it consist of? Like, hitting a cyclist, like an adult male cyclist compared to a deer,

who's going to do more damage to your car? Well, the bicycle's metal. Yeah. The deer doesn't have any metal parts i'm aware of that yeah because you got a man like a deer weighs about the same as a man you know like like a small deer is like 100 120 pounds and a big deer like white-tailed deer in the south you know it's it's gonna be like 140 to 170 pounds for a real big one so it's like hitting a short man yeah yeah okay yeah something like that but they get you know they

got the antlers and they got different bone structure and they're a little lower to the ground their their body mass is a little lower i've you hit a deer you know it yeah i've never i need that like i need some sort of like psa style like advertisement around here like i'm i'm six foot two and 180 pounds i'm much bigger than a deer i'm gonna fuck your car up if you hit me i need that broadcast of self-interest like going on yeah wear a shirt that says like think of your hood you don't want to be popping dings out you know and i don't want to be uh ruining my family's weekend with an unplanned funeral but it does remind me like i mean this has always been something amazing for me as car the fact that all of our motor vehicles are controlled by another human being with all the fallacies like problems and you know fuck ups and blast

attention that human beings have i'm always surprised that there aren't more deaths from automobiles and i'm surprised how safe it mostly is out there because i'm always out there like man i mean there's like a guy over there he's driving a little erratically he's probably had a couple beers he's on his fucking cell phone he's arguing with his wife in the car he's swerving left and right and yet he's not killed anyone yet tonight which seems like a pretty good thing and it's always i'm always a little impressed by that and the cars have gotten so much better like i when i was young when i was first learning to drive there was almost a debate over like oh yeah these cars they're not safe like they used to be you take an old you, you know, 67 Pontiac, whatever.

Those things were built like bricks, you know, houses. And nowadays they all crumple up because they were just sort of figuring out that like crumple zones made cars safer. And all you needed was like space to live in that little passenger compartment. And now, like every so often, you see like a 67 Bel Air, I don't know my cars,

against a modern Malibu. And, you know, dude, that old car is a death trap. Yeah. And I've been getting into car YouTube channels, like Doug DeMario or something in particular, but a bunch of them. And every so often, I'm like, yeah, you know, like some of these fun cars are on the edge of, like, impulse purchase a bit. Like, you know, like, I could drop $14,000 on something cool like that. You know, that thing's $22,000. I could have that.

There's no reason I couldn't just do that. And then it's like, but it's deadly. I'm really taking a go-kart out on public streets if I get this. You're putting a lot of faith in the hands of other computers. you're putting a lot of faith in the hands of other computers I think where that misconception comes in or maybe it's a correct conception to some extent

is like really minor fender benders and like a 55 Bel Air that thing's got this big chrome bumper on the front that you could tap another car at 8 miles an hour and zero damage would be incurred to you anyway it's just a big fucking

plow bar on the front this is going to go bang but but his like 2017 malibu is going to be all crumpled up in the back and the plastic's going to be torn in but of course you know at a crash at 35 miles per hour you're going to be real fucked up in that chevy then that 55 chevy you know where is that malibu is gonna crumple up decelerate you're inside this really strong uh roll cage type thing that's that's just keeping you safe with side airbags and rear airbags and front airbags and you know everything's safe and better for you yeah modern cars are much safer i. I had an argument with Jeremy for 15 minutes one time because he says that, and it may be, the problem with telling him,

I don't know why the fire department told him this, but when he was in his crash and rolled, they told him that if he had had on his safety belt, he'd have died. So now he thinks that he should never wear one in case he's in an identically ridiculous accident. And are they even right? That fireman is not an expert in automobile analysis.

I think the situation was that the roof collapsed down and the seatbelt would have held him up. But because it wasn't, he was able to go down into the floorboard and thrown into the floorboard and that saved him. Whereas if he'd been in the seat, he'd have died because his truck got crumpled. Mine did.

I've been in that accident with a seatbelt. I don't know. Go ahead. Sorry. He was a Ford Ranger. I don't know what you were in. And again, I'm not saying that the fireman was accurate in his statement after he cut Jeremy out of his fucking piece of shit range. He was texting

and driving with me. So you're culpable. Yeah, well, I mean, to him, maybe. I gave him a car to drive, you know, afterwards, you know, because I felt a little culpable. A guilt.

Yeah, I gave him a anyway, but so he won't wear a seatbelt now because of that. Ever. Man, that is dumb. Would he be interesting on the show? No. But his legend brings a certain appeal to it, right? What if we had him on for 45

minutes just to meet Jeremy? I think it's probably Kyle's translation of Jeremy. I'm kind of curious why so's so out of the know. Because Kyle's entertaining. Because he's like... He's difficult to understand. I've met him several times.

He's very difficult to understand. He's got an IQ of about 85. Would have gone lower. You know, I mean... Your boy is slow. Thank you, boy is slow. He's got no interesting stories. He doesn't understand things.

How is this not funny? I mean, we had wings on for years. What kind of things could we ask? I'm like four for four. I'm sitting on wings. You got two more rounds in the fucking cylinder what would you ask Jeremy about to try and elicit a funny response

maybe is the best question I'd ask him about fucking that chick in the port-a-potty see that is so much worse than a van I'd ask him to tell a story about fucking the chick in the porta potty and he'd get all red face because i'm not supposed to know about it um yeah i want to know how he gets laid at all did he get his teeth he's married that's right that's right he's married he has two children and uh she already had one. His teeth are still a wreck. They look like...

He looks like a... Like a Viking from a movie or something. They're all black and brown. They're like baked beans. They're all jagged on the edges and stuff. Oh, so they're not even just missing? Like he couldn't say... No, they're fucked.

I used to play for the Thrasher. You know in total... This is going to be lost on some people. Leave a comment on whether you'd like to see Jeremy on the show. His teeth look like car keys. I was going to say to Taylor, because Taylor will get this reference. In Total War Warhammer, the Lizardmen swords that the Source Warriors have, it looks like a paddle, but with teeth attached to the edge all the way around.

That's what his teeth look like i'd rather be bit i've said this before but i'd rather be bitten by a rabid dog than jeremy yeah yeah i i this might be sad for jeremy well i'm gonna keep going my cousin told me a story once about like uh he he and jeremy were together and they met some chicks at like a parking lot somewhere the work outside of a bar or something. And they're all kind of a little drunk and flirting and stuff. And Jeremy pairs off with this girl because it's, you know, it's dimly lit parking lot. And they're over there making out and really going to town kissing.

And Scott's just like, oh, like gagging, like thinking about this. And, like, Jeremy goes inside inside to piss and he kind of gets the girl aside he's like how can you do that she's like what how can you how can you make out with him when his teeth are like that and he's just now coming back out of the bar door open swing she's he's walking over she goes like what he's like look he said he watched her face when they come back out and like the parking light light caught him just right he said she went pale just just all the color left her face all the blood just left her face her with smart mouth she had no idea jeremy would do this contagious i take jeremy on road trips.

He'd never bring money, ever. We'd go on a four-day road trip to Arizona, a five-day road trip to Arizona, and he'd have $25, right? Oh, that's pretty douchey. He'd have $25 fucking dollars, and this is a guy who smokes a pack a day and needs at least two Red Bulls in the morning to get going

and is going to need two or three meals a day, a day right guess who's paying for all that shit so I'm driving the truck Scott's in the passenger seat Jeremy's in the back but he won't sit in the fucking back like a normal adult he wants to like lean forward like a parrot or like a dog and be on her shoulder like be right between us and breathe on you and it would just be stinking up the front of the truck so bad, you'd have to roll the windows down. We'd all start smoking cigarettes to try to smoke him out so he'd get back away from us.

Try to smoke him out? Like puffing on cigarettes to try to smoke him back away. I wonder what his side of this would be. I think he would just go into his shell and be feelings hurt. Yeah, of course he would. But he's a mad man like i remember jeremy we were at one of the paintball trips and jeremy was driving the truck and jeremy was driving the truck shitty by the way jeremy is a very bad driver and one issue with him is when

he misses turns in spite of the fact that the phone's telling you which way to go he doesn't fix it normally like you know it's like oh i missed my left all right don't worry i'll make a u-turn up here a block away no he'll go for like seven miles just like waiting for the perfect opportunity to turn around or maybe just the road to come to a natural like belly he'd never done any big city driving and there we were in chicago and it wasn't chicago though it was like julian south of chicago south side of Chicago. And he was a terrible driver. So I'm like busting his balls bad, right? And he's getting legit mad at me. Now, I believe Jeremy could kick my ass.

But Joe Lozon's also busting his balls. And I'm under the cover. I feel like I've got a protective umbrella. His ball busts. He's got a UFC fighter. And he's got a camera. It was great. They were picking on him pretty bad.

Just about driving. It wasn't like we were getting personal with it or anything. No, but it was hurting his feelings, and he was getting pouty. His feelings were easily hurt. Yeah, his feelings are easily hurt. But, you know, that's how shit goes. He's getting pouty. And he is the type of guy to, like, want to fight, too.

Oh, I'm fine with that. Just not with me. Yeah, exactly. I wouldn't want to tussle with Jeremy either. Jeremy's a strong dude. Oh, no. Even less so Joe Lozon. Yeah, nobody wants to tussle with Joe Lozon.

Joe's fighting this Saturday, by the way. The day that this – if you're watching this on Saturday, it's tonight. Yeah, man. Joe against Clay Guida. This is – so if people don't know, Joe puts on amazing fights. Win or lose, this is a fight you don't want to miss. And Clay Guida typically does that too. So it's almost like Lozan Diego type thing where it's just like shit is going to go down.

It's going to be good. Joe's going to crush him. I'm looking forward to seeing i was trying to think if i had any more um jeremy uh little excerpts of course like i said he'd go on those goddamn five-day road trips with 25 in his pocket oh scott and i had you know concealed carry permits so we'd often like especially on those trips when there's lots of expensive shit in the truck we'd be packing heat concealed carry and he wanted to do it too but he didn't have a license and you'd have to continually be like no no no leave the gun in the car you can't go into a fucking gas station strapped you moron like like you always have to

be disarming this guy like like he does like uh dealing with a dangerous child a georgia concealed by the way i'm pretty sure you just mail in for that shit. He didn't have $50? What are you talking about? At the time, he made... I don't know Jeremy's exact age. He's one of those, you look at him... I don't know his exact age.

No one does. That's unbelievable. If I had to guess, I would say at this point, because I'm 31, I would say he's somewhere between 23 and 26. Oh, really?

So you think he's five years younger than you? I don't fucking know. I always thought he was about your age. I always pictured him as older. I pictured him as Kyle's age. He doesn't fucking moisturize, buddy. I've got a bottle of Jack Black in there that i'm squeezing on twice a day you gotta be looking good the time that he saves is not moisturizing and not brushing his teeth you know

yeah that's why he's so industrious yeah that's why he gets so much done yeah um but yeah he's he's just like he's made all kinds of like, he's married. I'm not going to like tear down his entire life here. You know, we've been pretty hard on him. I don't think he listens, but he might, you know. But he's a real fuck up. Just a real, I've told the story before, but quickly, you know, we're in a five-star hotel in Houston, Texas. Like right next to Fleming's. Like I don't remember what the name of the hotel was but this motherfucker gets locked out of his hotel room

they he he and my cousin come to my room because i've got a balcony to smoke cigarettes you know they want to smoke off the balcony so we all smoke a cigarette and it's like all right good night they go back to their room they get locked out of the room. Scott is wearing a t-shirt and like pajama pants. Jeremy is in pink boxers with hearts on them and nothing else. And they play paper, rock, scissors to decide who has to go downstairs to ask for a key. Jeremy loses. So I get a phone call in my hotel room. Mr. Myers, there's a gentleman down here who says he's in one of your rooms, a Mr. Fulbright. And I'm just like, yeah, he is. Give him a key. Well, we're going to need you to come down and verify that you are who you are. And I'm just like, well, who else would I be? I'm in my room. And they're like, we need you to come down. And I come down and there he is. There's a man playing a piano in the corner. Okay. There's a restaurant attached where people are wearing like jackets and ties. There's piano music playing. There's a concierge wearing a goddamn bow tie 30 feet away and there's jeremy at this ten thousand dollar marble

counter wearing nothing but pink boxers with his nipples pierced and his rebel flag tattoos all over his goddamn body and and his hair's a mess because he's he he's one of those rednecks that always always always wears a hat but not right now So it's just mangled up and crazy. And he's like playing with his nipple piercing. And I have to approach and be like, he's with me. You're right. I've never seen this man before.

Thank you for calling me. Yep, he's with me. And she gives me a key and i give it to him and i was just a just a real embarrassment um everywhere we took him just just a real uh you know the thing that i don't like what i would ask him about is stealing your guns right kyle would like lend him a 1911 or something people don't know we'll call this a 750 gun and then he would just keep it like maybe, maybe forever. Just with no intention of ever returning it. Like, you want

this back? You gotta catch me. So he would borrow guns, and I would lose track of how many he'd borrowed. And it'd get to a point where, like, I was consolidating my guns, or I was, like, organizing my guns, and I'd be like, what the fuck are all my guns?

Goddamn. And so I was, like, you know, calling up, like, hey, Jeremy, do you have some of my guns? And he's like, the fuck are all my guns? Goddamn. And so I was like you know calling up like hey Jeremy do you have some of my guns? And he's like yeah yeah yeah. I was like Jeremy I need you to bring all of my guns that you have over here because I'm like consolidating. I'm cleaning. Only if you can name the ones I have. I remember

he brought them back and he literally he brought them back and he literally had $22,000 worth of guns. He literally had $22,000 worth of guns. He literally had $22,000 worth of guns borrowed. And I was just like, we're going to be on a one-at-a-time basis from now on, Jerome. You check one out, you got to bring it back to get another. This is just way too much. You had an arsenal with you.

As a non-gun owner, what do you borrow guns for? What is the problem you have that you need to borrow a gun uh you know you want to his thing he liked to show them off to people um he liked to go to walmart be like yeah look what i got i got a fucking crazy thing here and he would also go uh deer hunting with guns sometimes he like um he'd go shooting you know it'd be a thing where like him and his buddies are going somewhere to shoot you know they're gonna go down by this to the river or somebody's house, and everybody lays out eight rifles, and then they borrow each other's guns, and they shoot a bunch of targets.

So he'd want to borrow multiple guns, but mostly to, like, show them off and brag that he knew me, or pretend they were his, potentially. I don't know. Something like that. Okay. Yeah. But, like, if I lived close to Kyle, and I wanted to go shooting, like, I wouldn't want to go rent the same

guns that Kyle has from a range and they probably wouldn't have nearly the selection Kyle does of stuff to rent and so of course I'd go to Kyle and borrow and go shoot that because you're breaking up Taylor but

Taylor you're breaking up yeah I'm sure you'll be back in a second but anyway I think he'd be interesting not for four hours but for you know half an hour one hour I haven't talked to him in a while I haven't seen him in a while maybe next time I do see him I'll mention it to him and I'll see

about it I just don't know what we talk about you know like I'll ask him he'd want his wife is like I just don't know what we talk about. I'll ask him. His wife keeps him on a real short leash, so he's not allowed to go out and do stuff. Is she regular intelligence? I feel like this is a Forrest Gump situation almost.

Yeah. If she's Jenny. Jenny. The Jenny is fully aware of what Forrest Gump has got going on. She's smart. Jeremy's wife, where are we on this? She's fully there. She's real good at getting all those government checks for each and every child and making sure she files all the correct paperwork to get all her government money.

She's all there. She really keeps him on a short leash. And her mother. They're both on him like just stink on shit, just making sure that he does what he's supposed to do when he's supposed to do it. He better be where he's supposed to be all the time always checking up on him um you know that that was as of about a year ago like i can just remember me scott and i would be hanging out and jeremy comes around he's like which translated means i don't have much time gentlemen i i have

to be back home for quick so while we're doing uh you know k Kyle guest stars, what's Scott up to? Is he welding again? I think he's welding again. He's gained a significant amount of weight. He's at that age. People do sometimes. I guess so. He's about a year younger than myself.

He's also, I think he might be married. I know he's got a couple kids now. He's got two kids that I know of. There could be more scattered about he's got two kids and um and uh and uh i don't know i don't think he's married to her uh so i don't know exactly what that situation's like but i think he has a serious girlfriend i don't i oh i don't know then he has a co-parenting deal fuck i don't know okay i was really trying to help here make it seem like a responsible guy i'm sure he takes care of shit you know he's not a deadbeat dad or anything i'm sure he's he's looking out for uh everybody but

um depending on the kids well those they're another state that's okay all the kids in georgia um but yeah yeah he um i think he's back welding again uh do it do it pretty well at that he uh they bought a fucking farm uh foolishly and and uh like they just just he immediately was like ah this is this isn't gonna work i don't want to do this this was an error and uh so they backed out of that whole thing and that's gone back to the person they purchased it from and i don't know what the financial ramifications of that are okay um yeah i didn't know that really worked that way properly i didn't know you could buy in return uh you know you made a deal with a person and just they're just going back on the deal you know that sort of thing

generally those things with paperwork and money exchanged yeah there's signed contracts and realistic maybe he made an unofficial deal I think it was sort of a handshake kind of deal like I think it was something like that I don't know this the extreme specifics I know there was a

significant down payment to sort of you know make sure that sort of, you know, make sure that things were firm, you know, maybe $15,000 or $25,000 or something. So that may be a loss on his part. But like, he makes very good money with the welding thing. But it's one of those feast and famine things. He's really good at earning money, but he's so much better at spending it. You know, like we talked about that truck last uh two or three weeks ago with uh richard bryan and how like i just don't see the 250 or 350 trucks being worth it unless you own a goddamn force horse farm or something or you live in the mountains

and uh he's got a big trailer life like van life but with yeah you gotta live that van life that's even lower class these are like campers. They're travel trailers. It's like a co-op thing. One guy has the fucking truck and then you have a van. You take the engine out. So now you've got a much bigger space in your van to live in. To live in the engine compartment.

So then in the poverty ladder, private is van and then private first class is trailer like still very low on the white trash row meter like mac and charlie would even agree that that's why now if you converted a regular van to be a living space versus converting a utility trailer to be a living space which is lower oh man what kind of? You know, like one of those hallmarks that the back door goes up

and shuts. Would you like me to find a picture? Please. Like a pop-up camper? You know what a pop-up camper is? It's like flat and then it pops up, as the name would suggest. I knew a guy who lived in one of those

back on someone's property that was so pathetic um that guy would like you're gonna laugh at this but people take things in this class and convert that into a living space oh my god man no oh my god that's like the guy i was just talking about is pathetic. That's so much worse than what he lives in. I have a friend, like a third friend who did that. This is horseshit, Wooden. You need a best class of friends.

I envy him. I like his trailer. I think it's cool. This is hobo life. He has an air conditioner mounted in his side. This is beyond white trash. Mad Max would not live in that. It's cool.

No, it's great. He went on this thing called Bum Fight Winners. They were like, you can either choose to live in this trailer we've renovated for you or you can take the 30 pack of Bud Light. No, I'm going to take the 30 pack of Bud Light. Are you sure? It has an air conditioner.

It has solar and it's got batteries in it and like a refrigerator. Like it's insulated and he can tow it. I'm excited about the insulation. How thick is the insulation? How much living room do you lose for insulating this? It's thick. It's thick. You don't know like the foam core one-inch like insulation you would get at Home Depot

that comes in four by eight sheets? Do you have that as a percent volume? Insulation, Wall Street journals taped together. Same tomato. That's a tomato. Just upside-up turned egg cartons taped to the side. Yeah, they put insulation on the side, then they'll panel it with wood paneling and make it look first class. So white trash.

This is so white trash. Maybe I have an inner white trash in me that's just like, I think it'd be fun to hook this up. We've all got an inner white trash and we have to find it. You know, it's not the trailer that I love so much. It's the adventures. I think to myself like, well, what would I do? I'd just get hotel rooms.

But no, these people are staying in places where there aren't hotel rooms and they're waking up to the sunrise and doing their thing. And by the way, you get a hotel room. What if I go to bed at like, I don't know, 1030 and I miss like an epic campfire bonding session that only happens when you live in a converted Hallmark trailer. I don't know about it. Who else is at that campfire? Because everyone else is staying in hotels.

I don't know about to get screamed at that night. Who else is at that campfire? Because everyone else is staying in hotels. I don't know. I guess I'll just recline the chair in my truck like I always do because my wife doesn't want to eat a lawn ornament. You never know who you'll meet late at night in a dark alley. You do never know. It might be a fun guy. I'm not going to roll those fucking dice. I'm with Jackie on this one. I'm sure you've been like,

but it fit in the stables. We just rolled it in there. Nobody'd see it. I have two trailers already. I've got a short one and a long one. But you could put this one on the other ones. I didn't even think of that. We could stack trailers. Yeah, man. Get a trailer on a trailer. Trailerception.

It's a pretty hard. This is the worst idea you've had in a long time. And you fly through the air on a lawnmower. I feel like you should be encouraging him just for that reason. I mean, think about the stories he'd come back with having done this.

He wouldn't come back! Hey, welcome to the PKA episode 570. It'd be PKA for Jackie, and she'd be like, they got him! They got him. The fucking, it was all a ruse. They have him in Mexico now. They want one million dollars. Oh, man.

They got him. I can't imagine something worse than living in something like that that would be awful it's my idea of a cool week or two or month or two I hope you do it because that would be very funny

that's what I'm saying you're going to get a story out of this cheers I'm going to need to produce PKA January 4th through 12th just saying you could totally do it and build the thing and then sell the motherfucker because you're not going to enjoy after you do it once i think you're going to be like that was an experience dude i am i would

enjoy it i'm built for that i i like dude like i remember when i first started camping i set my tent up in the backyard just because like i wasn't I hadn't gone camping since I was a Boy Scout, and I hadn't been the lead on camping ever. So I set up my tent in the backyard in Apex, and I started sleeping out there just to make sure my stuff was warm enough. I didn't want to be in the middle of nowhere when I first tested that out. After five days, Jackie's like, you're going to have to come back home. The neighbors are going to get the wrong idea.

You can't sleep. You can't live in the tent. Because I liked it so much, I just slept in the backyard every night. It was like, I really liked it. Can you imagine the conversation your neighbors were having where they're like, Jesus, what did he do? Yeah, right? Five days out there.

Holy shit. Five days. He lives in a tent. He has four sleeping bags on him. Should we offer something? Oh, no, no, no. His wife would not like that. I loved it.

I loved it. What is this? Oh, my God. You got one, Chiz? 22 grand for this 07 Sprinter. Let's see these pictures. Oh, God. Is that a mosquito net?

What is that? I see a propane tank of some kind man if you drop 22 grand on this you're gonna be shit out of luck when all these you know rape claims start rolling in oh look at that it's got room on the back to throw like your paramotor and all kinds of gear on the back all kind of

shelving there for clothes it should be mandatory when they do this to close how long they live the van life for on the back. All kind of shelving there for clothes. It should be mandatory when they do this to disclose how long they lived the van life for. Was this like a two week safari he tried and was like, this isn't going to work. Or was this like a man who really loved it? I think that should be part of the sale description.

It should be. One thing I'm happy about is I feel like what Chiz found accurately describes what a van life van is like. You know, it's not first class, right? This is like construction grade plywood. No one grabbed any furniture grade plywood

when they put this thing together. Yeah. But, it, I don't know what this one is. Do you see the picture that it's like a stove with some shitty rusted backsplash? Like, what am I looking at? It's a piece of shit, is what it is.

It's like they found some... That's your stove. That's your stove. There's the stove and the backsplash. I swear, they're like, well, that's so you don't burn the thing down. This perfectly good tin roof blew off a barn.

I can decorate my van with it. Look at this bed. Look at this bed. Do you think that any of us could lay horizontally in a van? Absolutely. No, there's no way. I could. I would be happy.

It's like five feet. I would lay in there and look at my kayak Paddle on the ceiling as happy As can be thinking about the morning's adventures No I'd be I'd be upset With whoever peer pressured me into going On a van trip It's

You'd have to be a very cute girl Are we It's thousands and thousands of dollars to rent a motorhome. It looked like it was 1,500 a week baseline, but then the miles started racking up at like 25 cents a mile after some small amount. You know what the worst nightmare of all time would be? If Chiz found a sponsor who'd hook us up with an RV

and they wanted me, you, and Woody to make some sort of round country road trip, and the three of us had to live together in a van. I'd fucking blow my brains out. Sponsored also by 100% Food. What the hell is he consuming the entire trip? On the bright side, that should plug him up, so pooping won't be an issue. I'm not bad to sleep with now.

So I snore on an Olympic level. That was the thing. But with the BPAP machine, I am most non-snoring. No, it's very quiet. Yeah, now it just sounds like a low-pressure air compressor going on. No, all goofs aside, it's super quiet. You can't hear it, and you can't hear me. It's fixed the problem.

Maybe Chiz could see if he would rent you this van for a period of time at a reduced rate compared to what you're going to get in the commercial side of things. So Chiz buys this 07 Sprinter. He lives in it, but he rents it out to us for a longer time. No, I wasn't thinking that Chiz would buy it. I thought you would perhaps contact the buyer and see if he could set something up for you. See, maybe he'll take it off the market

and hook me up with it for a little while. Oh my God, look at the EconoLiner he just linked here. Now this, you could get... He could slay pussy in this. All that green. Yeah, whether they want to or not. Yeah. No, this is just as stupid.

This is a much better bed, though. Do you like the bed more? I prefer this bed. I don't know how I feel about the walls. Can you imagine how loud drive sound is anytime you're not on the highway? Where every little stop and go is ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch

rattling the shittily made bed rocking all over the place. Oh, my God. Man, this would be uncomfortable. Oh, fuck. Every little stop and go is ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- This $62,000 van, you could probably get some pussy in this. It's got some... This isn't that bad. See, the only way you're getting pussy in this van still is if it's pussy that you brought with you who understands what's going on. I don't think you're bringing any new gals back. This guy's got money. This freaking barbecue is like $1,000. Those green eggs.

Yeah, but it's a green egg the size of an ostrich egg. You can cook one hamburger in it really well. Look at the last picture. That's the dream. That's the nightmare. Oh, come on. That's the nightmare. Dude, I'm telling you.

He's on a beach with it. I can't tell you how little how unappealing i may not be the most adventurous guy and old time or anything like that but i enjoy traveling getting out this would be the worst fucking way to see anything you kidding me like maybe this were yeah if this were if this were an affordable thing for like a like you know a you know early a guy in his early 20s who, if this was affordable and he could do this, maybe you could sell it for a period of time. But anyone of any means at all,

this would be fucking terrible. I have one friend with a van, one friend with a trailer, one friend that wants a van, and this is an appealing... What is it, the water? Why is it here? Why are they drinking something?

It's their wives at home for you to prefer living in a van on the road somewhere it has like a fan in the ceiling that that makes the air inside just like the air outside it's it's just constantly circulating it's like protected tent camping it's it's just constantly circulating it's like protected tent camping it's it's i mean it's i'll admit it's luxurious it's it's glamping right glamorous camping what are you drinking over there taylor this is doers white label you know how many bottles of that i would need if i live in a fucking van you would need plenty like i would rather go to the dentist i think then go camping in one of these vans because i just you're breaking

up a couple hours and then i can go back to my home if i had to choose between living in a van for a week and driving from like northeast georg let's just say, it would be about a week is like to Arizona and back, like Grand Canyon and back, go to Nevada. If I had to choose between that and going to the dentist every day and getting a root canal, I would choose six root canals over six days in a van. Let me just jump in for a second because i think you guys are shitting on it for the show and i respect that you know we all sometimes you know take our real selves and amp it up a little bit because it's funnier this is 100 you wouldn't really choose a daily root canal i would choose a daily root canal that is crazy you don't think there's not a part of you that thinks it's fun let's be realistic you wouldn't

do a daily root canal you would do a daily you would do a daily cleaning though i would do a daily root canal it takes an hour and it doesn't fucking hurt and they and they give you some drugs afterwards i would choose a daily root canal it's one hour of uncomfortableness and some tylenol three which is a good time and you're just factoring in the drugs. I really think this is about the Tylenol 3. What about the Tylenol 3 and I am? The Tylenol 3. Wait, wait, wait. Let me just throw this out there.

What if we had a Daily Root Canal in Tylenol 3 or a van in Tylenol 3? Daily Root Canal, Tylenol 3. Wow. I would have to be on heroin to enjoy the van life. You'd enjoy every raindrop Kyle It's fun to stay at these places and go to these places, but it fucking sucks driving as traveling long-distance I am NOT a big fan of that in the first place the idea of a van

Traveling right off the bat kind of throws me a little bit now They're not leaving all the time the same fucking van you're traveling in seems even worse than some level I have done a lot of long-distance driving. i have driven all over the fucking country thousands and thousands of miles i just i put like 180 000 miles on one vehicle doing this shit just so much fucking driving i know what it's like it's awful you you get up with a and you know i'd be doing all the driving i'd be doing all the driving if i it's me and a girl or if it's me and like a couple dudes. I'm going to be doing all the fucking driving. My neck is, I'm going to get out my neck and go clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk.

And I'll be like, oh, God, my back. I wish I had my foam cylinder roller to like pop my back. But there wasn't enough room because we're living in a van. Yeah, we couldn't scoot aside the shit buckets far enough to fit my foam roller. You do have to give up things like foam rollers and i'm telling you like i'm not amping it up a bit i can't tell you how unappealing the van life is to me it just real i'm a hundred that's 100% honesty like like if we were off the show right now and you're like no kyle for real though i got the van let's go even if we were going somewhere i wanted now and you're like, no, Kyle, for real though, I got the van. Let's go. Even if we were going somewhere I wanted to go.

Let's say we're driving from my house in the van and we're going to the bunny ranch to fuck top-end whores. I still wouldn't go. Yeah, I'd meet you there. All right. I'd go. I'm flying. I'm flying. That ticket is $325.

I'm flying! That ticket is $325. I'm flying. Actually, considering that van and how much you've loaded it down with pasta and breadsticks or whatever the fuck you're going to be eating it's going to be more expensive than just flying to the prostitute house. Yeah. I'd like to go to the bunny ranch and fuck some of those whores.

There are some top tier looking bitches out there. Let's set a Patreon goal. Yeah, Patreon goal to get me and Kyle to the bunny ranch. I'll fill that. I'll vlog that shit. I'm not going to make a porno. I'm not wings here.

I'm not even going to pretend like I would. But I'll vlog every fucking thing else. You'll be there during the selection period. You guys can pick the whore. are you sure you want to do that oh yeah what if they offer uh men there too and they pick a guy that'd be pretty funny look here's the bunny ranch.com look at these women like like there's like there are some top tier women out there did you link it there There we go. Yeah. Top bunny. I'm not sure I can share this with you.

Yeah, there's nipples on the front page. Yeah, don't share this. Yeah, so you want to be careful about how you go around. Oh, there they are. Yeah. I'm down with Camara. I'd fuck this black chick. Entice love.

Like, just to get that off the old bucket list. Get Harley Lane here. Harley Lane. Truthfully, everyone on this first page is a go. Oh, yeah. This is all fantastic. And what's funny is Alice Little, who I think is

maybe in last place on this thing, is the starlet of the year. They got to boost her numbers somehow, so they give her some trumped up prize. Page two has an issue, and I'm not a big fan of Hollywood here. All right, I'm going forward to Hollywood. Let me see what she looks like. And Farrah Banks.

Oh, Hollywood's got some big old jugs. She looks trashy like a biker whore. Farrah Banks has a lot of miles on her. I like the excitement that was said. All of these girls have a lot of miles on them. Did you see Farrah Banks? I'm looking at Farrah Banks now. Page two. Page two.

Page two, Fairbanks. Oh, Fairbanks has some mileage on her, baby. She does. Oh, I will put a few more on you. I don't care. She's by 32DD, 5'4", 112 pounds. She's only 30, but looks 38. She's only 30, looks 38.

No way she's 30. no way she's 30 no way so kissing cuddling make out gfe which stands for girlfriend experience um let's see here how would you want a girlfriend experience with a prostitute oh her teeth are jacked up too because you can't get a girlfriend experience otherwise i really don't like bad teeth. That's a turn off. She's hot though. Sex menu? That's a page. Let's see. Alright, appetizer. Our sexual menu appetizer.

Oral sex. The BJ and love at the Y. In the cuisine of sexuality, the B and cunny licking are the appetizers of choice. A cunning linguist speaks the language of love. Okay, so they're just talking about an actual menu. Look at Pantera here. Pantera on page two. She's top right.

That's very nice. Erotic massages. BDSM. He's nice. Fetishes. Yeah, I noticed Pantera too. Yeah, I'm down for any of that stuff. Like if you guys want me to like...

If you look on Pantera's... If you click on her and see the whole thing, baby got back. Oh, here's a Japanese chick. Oh, that's great. Kitty Kawasaki. Go for it. Wow.

Pantera hardly looks like the same person. She's... Pantera could lose 30 pounds. Kitty's got... I just found the Japanese girl that you're talking about. What page pounds he's got not this I just found the Japanese girl that you're talking about what paid I guess Kitty Kawasaki yeah I want to and they they have her in a kimono in her yeah that's so funny they're playing up the fetish I want to come in those gigantic ears of hers I

mean I didn't see that on the menu but i'm sure you can special order oh yeah treat it like taco bell you just make up your own shit uh all right this girl mimi moans looks pretty hot all right this is my favorite one so far i'll link i guess she's asian too lacy valentine right here is my favorite so far. I would – I think this costs like 500 an hour tops, something like that. Like for a grand, you could do just about whatever you wanted. And she's only 20. No way she's 20. She's not 20.

She is 29. I mean, Lacey Valentine, that's not an old lady name, and it's probably not made up. 150 pounds, 34B, girlfriend experience. Yes. Virgin. Yes. So look, Lacey is wonderful. She's really pretty, but she's not 20. She's 29.

She might be 30. I don't care. I'll believe it. I just, look, I feel lied to. I wouldn't have known that prostitutes would be so dishonest, but here we are. Wow. This one's... Most of them have their face as their main...

Oh, there's no face on this one. It's just ass and... This would be the greatest PKA trip. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. You see the bunny? Yes.

I want to go fuck Caressa Kisses and have the... Let me throw this out there. If you had been with a prostitute back when I was pre-married, that was a real mark against you. Do you feel like that doesn't exist anymore? That it's not like a scarlet letter? With who? No, I think it definitely is.

I wouldn't tell anyone. They might find out, yes. You're not a very good secret keeper. Who do I not want to know? I would tell 100,000 people minimum. I mean, I've fucked a prostitute. Like, what? I don't care.

I haven't, but... And you know, I don't think any less of Kyle. Yeah, see? Remember, I fucked her, and she was on her period, and the diaphragm came loose and she just bled everywhere and then they changed the sheets I think Kyle should also

be known for telling stories more than once or contacting the better business bureau you know like you would have thought I would have gotten my money back after that right like actually it wasn't my money somebody else paid see that's how I justify that someone else paid a girl and and and then we fucked them it was funny though because scott was asleep in his bed and we were on this road trip and and

scott and i had been joking huh was it a van trip no well it was a truck trip where we stopped at hotels and slept in them and took normal showers and normal shits in separate rooms and and got to sleep and uh there was no forest shitting no digging of a hole to take a poop or anything like that but scott and i had been joking like what if we got a transsexual hooker and like sicked her as it were on jeremy because he would have no concept of this he wouldn't even be suspicious and all of a sudden she pulls out a dick, and he'd be like, ah, and freak the fuck out, and we'd mock him endlessly for the rest of his life.

What if he responds like a stadium policeman? So we joked about that the whole trip, so then we get hooked up with these hookers, and Scott's asleep in his bed, so we go up to Scott's room with hookers, and while he's asleep in bed, the hookers jump in bed with him. And they're cuddling with him, and he wakes up, and he's like, oh, hey there.

Hey, all right, what the hell's going on? Just imagine you're a single young guy, and you wake up, and there's two beautiful women in bed with you. There's a blonde on one side and a brunette on the other, and they're getting a little kissy and lovey with you. Like nothing X-rated. I think I was being robbed. Yeah. Well, we're're all there too. His friends are there with him too. What are they doing in my van?

Then I'd ask you to leave. So the girls are all cuddling with him and kissing him on the cheeks and stuff and playing with his hair and I go Scott remember that special kind of lady that we were going to get for Jeremy? He goes jumps out of bed, fucking gets in a fighting stance.

And he's not sure who to hit first, if he should start beating up the women or if he should start beating up his friends. He's like, what the fuck's going on here? What the fuck's going on here? And like they literally showed him their pussies. They're like, no, no, no. We have vaginas. We have vaginas. We have vaginas. Like, no dick here.

No dick here. I've seen those doctor's tricks. Scott needs to relax a little. Oh, I don't know. I mean, you know, the dude jumped in bed when we started making out with him. You can see how he'd get a little bent out of frame. I thought they'd a little less, but all right. New Patreon level. That makes you just a little bit more little less New Patreon level

That makes you just a little bit more gay New Patreon level You're like hey just go with the flow I've maxed it out In my head When you said they were cuddling and getting a little snuggly I thought they kissed the back of his neck Or whatever

And then you find out that They played a trick on you I wouldn't hit anybody. Well, some people aren't as enlightened as you. Let me do a couple of advertisements here. Let me tell everyone about the Bunny Ranch. I'm going to tell everyone about Stitch Fix. Big fan.

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Oh, man. I'm down to go. But I think, I mean, Kyle, this is all hinges on the Patreon, obviously. You know? But I found something. I don't know how that would work exactly. But would you legitimately go if your way was paid and fuck some whores and blog it with me? I mean, I'd have to have, like, a real, i'd have to take a shower with like in silence and

like really think about it for a bit and but like like two seconds into that shower i'm gonna be like yeah yeah yeah yeah i guess so i guess because here's let me describe the the way the experience would have to go down for me to be interested like we fly into vegas um get ourselves a nice hotel room uh maybe overlooking a concert or something like that. I bet the prices at that hotel with the shooting are, like, way down. You'd probably get a deal there. Better yet, I like using VRBO. Maybe we get our own place, right, outside of the city limits.

I would prefer it if the hookers came to us. Agreed. I don't think that's legal. I think it's legal outside the city limits. I think it's legal outside the city limits I think it's legal outside the city limits so you get a VRBO outside the city limits and then it's legal you rent a house that's outside the city limits

and then the hookers come to you and I would like two hookers myself I don't want to share hookers or anything like that I don't want to swap hookers that'd be gross just how i roll um i want to um and um i would like to like hang out with them i want to like go do some stuff with

them you know like like meander about with these hookers and do some stuff maybe do a little gambling with some hookers you know one on each arm or something like that i think that'd be fun uh maybe not you're making a face of disgust. I mean, I was just thinking about it, though. I would be totally down for that if you agree to get super, super dressed up with me. We go out to the rafters.

Tux. We look like high rollers. I don't really gamble, but I'll pretend. Yeah. Can I have a cane? If we both don't have canes,'m not going okay uh i'm not even joking i um i want i want like an eagle on mine like like one that kind of looks aryan if i'm being honest but but not but not really you know like something like lucius malfoy would have you know like like something get them wet yeah oh i'm gonna fuck them with it i'm i'm gonna

do that um but but i want two hookers i want my own place for that they come to i really don't like that experience that i've seen in so many movies and films where like you're sitting in like a lobby that looks like the lobby of a dentist's office and like eight chicks line up with like bruised shins and injection marks on their arms. Yeah, scraped knees. Busy night last night, huh? Yeah, their makeup's a little... Why are you wearing carpenter

knee pads? Tools of the trades. Kyle, think about this. We rent a place, two bedroom, and of course the bedrooms aren't that far apart because it's a small place and we late at night you take your two in there i take my two in my bedroom yeah are we going to be cool with that with yeah all the noise well we get a big place we get across we play i like play music you know we'll play some music or something in alternate rooms

we take our rhino seven take our rhino our black rhino seven pills get all get all hyped up and crazy horny and uh and and you know whatever else may or may not be legal in that state these days and just just have a good old time get all fucked up and then you know fuck some whores i don't think they'll do that do what i don't think they'll send you girls without some sort of protection-style thing if they're doing home visits. Oh, they do escort services. Even on their website, it says in-house or out-house service. Not out-house service. That's what Jeremy does.

He's out-house service. He fucked that chick at a port-a-potty. He did. That's so fucking... That blows me away. Not that he fucked someone at a port-a-potty. He did. That blows me away. Not that he fucked someone in a port-a-potty, but I feel like I would need to be something special for a girl to overlook the port-a-potty.

She would have to think like, ah. He's sitting on the shooter and she's bouncing on him. Just she would need to be someone special. In the same way that it blows me away when Mormons get three or four or five wives, it's like, dude, like, you know, like, if a woman wants to marry you, then that, you know, that maybe says you're all right.

If a woman's willing to settle for 20% of you, you are a god, right? No one would have ever fucked me in my entire life in a port-a-potty. I couldn't get my wife to fuck me in a porta potty. Jeremy's a god. What did Filthy say? Doesn't that mean that your argument

at the end of that is Jeremy's a god? Yes! How did Jeremy pull that off? I could barely get laid in a car. It says something about... Yeah, I don't know. I don't know the guy. I don't want to bash his life, but it sounds like it says something about him and her both. The god of halitosis.

Yeah. Yes, fuck that. I just, I mean. Bet you never knew E. coli was an STD. The man must have something going on in this, like. I'm riskier than a Taco Bell tomato. I talked about van life, right? And it's like, dude, if you get laid in a van,

it's like being an ugly person, right? You're playing this on veteran. It's possible, but you're playing it on veteran. How Jeremy gets laid in a porta potty, he's playing this on God mode. The answer is alcohol, because that turns the difficulty down at least two notches for everyone involved

that's like a game shark yeah did you ever have a game genie oh yeah oh yeah man i had the game i had the game genie for the nes that was awesome i i watched a video about the whole what is that the game so the game genie went between the cartridge and the nes system like the cartridge plugged into the game genie and then that plugged into the NES. And when you started a game, you didn't start with a normal start screen. You began with a Game Genie screen. And you entered a code that you got from a booklet that came from Game Genie Monthly. Or when you purchased it, it came with a lot of codes. And you could... Infinite Lives, Super High Jumps. Like, I did it for Mario Brothers and Mario Brothers World 3 or whatever. It was cheat codes

for an NES. They made them for the Sega Saturn, for the Super Nintendo, for lots of game consoles. There was a big legal battle between Nintendo and their Canadian company. It was a whole thing. It made the game really fun for five-year-old Kyle because I was bad at Mario Brothers.

Sure. Five-year-old Kyle. Mario was bad at Mario Brothers. Sure. Five-year-old Kyle. Mario Brothers is a fucking hard game to beat. I've got a funny video here. I think I've beaten it. Go on. It's very short. Apparently there was something organized with very upset

people on the year anniversary of Trump getting elected. They just went out into the streets and screamed into the sky. It is beyond parody and it's just hilarious. Let's watch.

Protesters scream at the sky on anniversary of Trump election. 35,000 views published on November 8th. Are we ready? Yep. Using nothing personnel. Ready, set, play.

It's OJ. Yes. Some of the sound is in not putting his heart into it. Yeah. He sounds like the doctor just asked him to open his mouth and say, ah. He's giving him a little. It's just a literal tantrum. Oh, they've got the pussy hat on one of them does

uh you know the bryce tyson was he no why am i believing that for a moment no of course not uh yeah this is ridiculous i i will say this i think it was W who said it recently. He was like, you know, we judge others by their worst examples, and we judge ourselves by our best intentions. On the blue team, this is our worst example. This doesn't represent who they really are. This is just a couple of assholes on the blue fringe yelling at the sky. Oh, yeah.

This isn't mainstream at all. Yeah. This is our worst example i don't i don't think anybody looks at stuff like this and then looks at you woody and is like oh yeah that's the same boat that's the same because like at the end of the day like obviously we gravitate towards disagreement because that's how interesting conversations tend to go but we agree on so much me you kyle like we line up on a lot of shit yeah like for the most part and so yeah you're you know you're you're not at all uh a scream at the sky cuck as so many internet folks would would say uh yeah cuck doesn't like that might have been an insult that bothered me before

cuck became so mainstream but now cuck is just a run-of-the-mill insult like like i don't know it's it's like i i used to not like the term dem you know like it was i felt like it was a oh like democrat yeah i felt like dem was kind of a shorthand that it's not what democrats want they call democrats not what democrats wanted to be called they wanted to be called democrats not dems and uh now it's like, whatever. It's Dems. It's cuck. It's like, I don't know.

They're all just. It's Dems and Reps because we got Twitter and we got, you know, character limits that we got to. Yeah, yeah. That's the reason for that, I would think. It pre-existed Twitter. But anyway, I don't know. Yeah, I'm not sensitive to cuck. That one's not, doesn't bug me.

The one that makes me laugh now, the new one, is Soy Boy. I don't know that one. Is it vegan? It's like the upcoming new insult to the same people who would use cuck, but it's more

tongue-in-cheek, I would think, or I'm seeing it more as a joke. Yeah, Chiz just linked Urban Dictionary Soy Boy, and it's the rhyming and the silliness of, you know, everybody's like, oh, soy, that'll make you grow tits, which it doesn't, you know, unless you're siding entirely on soy. Okay, the average soy boy is a feminist, non-athletic, has never been a fight,

will probably marry the first girl who has sex with him, and likely reduces all his arguments to labeling his opposition as Nazis. See also Cuck, Beta, Orbiter, Kissless Virgin, and Male Feminist. Soy Boy's a new

one to me. I know. It's so silly. I don't know. That one makes me laugh. Yeah, Cuck was only funny for about three minutes before it just exploded way too much. And even then, you can only ride the two hard K sounds for so long. Because, you know, a nice hard K.

The reason, like, fuck. Fuck. Like, the reason that's so good. Like, cunt. Fuck. I was going to say shit. Not a good example. You know, the reason that's so good. Like, cunt! Fuck! I was gonna say shit, not a good example. You know, the basic archetype.

What does our obscene language expert think about this? Yeah, well, you know, the history of, you know, cuck is just a very riveting tale to be told. Let me start with the beginning. Yeah. It began with Shakespeare. riveting tale to be told let me start with the beginning yeah it began and with shakespeare apparently the cuck thing um bernie sanders wrote some sort of like cuck fantasy from a female standpoint back in 1972 and i said this and everyone thought I was crazy but Google it. Write Bernie Sanders cuck porn. You want me to Google Bernie Sanders cuck? It takes a lot for me to get hard

at this point in my life. Send me a link. I don't want to wade through what I'm getting with that one. You don't want to get on that list? Here he is addressing it. Let me see how long this video is 30 seconds should we watch it

I admit it and it was a mistake I don't know what this is going to say I haven't watched it in advance but let's watch Bernie Sanders explain away his his cuck porn thing are we ready yeah yes three two one play 72 was sort of a

fantasy of men and women you said a woman enjoys intercourse with her man as she fantasizes being raped by three men simultaneously that was 43 years ago really do need a serious national discussion about sexuality. You are a student activist. You outlined a case for sexual freedom in your

school newspaper. So you thought I was talking about this issue many years ago? I'm gonna try! Okay, that was a little edited. I didn't know what was coming. But yeah, apparently in 1972, he wrote something about a female fantasy involving getting raped by three guys or something like that. And since then, the Bernie Sanders became synonymous with cuck. And then anyone who's not bleeding Republican is a cuck. And even then, some of the Republicans end up being cucks. You know, where they're like, oh, you don't support everything this guy does? Cock, cockery.

Yeah, or pedophiles, that's the thing. That's what's so funny about the Roy Moore thing to me. All these same people who are all about finding a pedophile ring in DC, as soon as something about it comes up, the filter goes down. Oh, no, no, no, not him, though. Not this upstanding citizen. Yeah, Breitbart's defending him. I'm shocked. No, not Breitbart.

It's true. You think they cut that down the center, but no, they're on his side. They say none of it's true. Next, you'll tell me CNN's on the totally opposite side. I find that hard to believe. They're on the right side of that. Of this one least if that's what they're i don't know what they're doing where cnn gets blasted is they try to paint themselves as neutral and i was watching

their coverage of the elections on tuesday and they were just very excited about the democrats winning they could hardly withhold their glee and it it's like, all right. No one gets mad at MSNBC because MSNBC says we're like a liberal news organization. CNN says we're fair and balanced, to misquote them. And that's where everyone gets so upset.

The knock people had against Fox for a long time is they said they were fair and balanced. No, no, no. Just admit you're Republican news. That's what you are. MSNBC is the opposite. And CNN, you halfway play the middle. Yeah, they're like always

trying to gaslight you. They're like, oh, you know us at CNN, always so straight down the middle. It's like Jake Tapper. I remember the election last year when you were trying to read results about how Hillary was losing and he couldn't stop saying, and we need about five more and Hillary needs about five more

before we start winning. Before we, Hillary, starts winning. And it's like, oh, Jesus Christ. Practice that. Shouldn't be saying we when talking about one of the candidates. That's a pundit. But yeah, you're right. CNN's not down the middle.

I'll have to look more into Bernie there and see what the real story is. Maybe he owns a pizza place. Get that whole cuck fantasy, like, lit erotica or whatever is going on there. You could take a read through that, figure it out, maybe. I mean, I don't want to read erotic

fan fiction written by this old curmudgeon. I feel like that should be part of the whole Nevada clan. That's what we do on the way. Have them read it out loud to you, perhaps? Come over. I would love to hear you do Bernie Sanders impression while reading erotic literature.

I'll practice my Bernie and we'll do that next week. I'll be softly flicked a nipple. Harder and harder as she tenderly wipes the white crust from the corners of your mouth because i'm old there's nothing sexier than the voice of an old jew i forget who was talking about it like they were ripping on bern for being so old, but someone else was practically his age. It might have been Trump or something. And it's like, yeah, but Bernie vibes 100 years old. A thousand.

Yeah. He's just... Truly timeless. I like to think of myself as a Rolex of a man. When we were held in Egypt, I remember Moses. He looked at us and he said I found my fucking one watt laser I've been having so much

fun with this I was wondering what was making it green behind you it's a thousand dollar laser that got sent to me forever ago so the little laser pointer that you might have on a keychain is like 20 milliwatts or something this is 500 times more powerful it burns things is like 20 milliwatts or something. This is 500 times more powerful.

It burns things. It'll burn through. You can shine it on somebody's ass across the room and burn through their pants. You can see it's illuminating the whole fucking room. It'll burn through your cornea in like a split second. You're supposed to wear protective glasses with it. Wait, is that the one we were playing with in Joliet?

Yes! And we burned through the styrofoam of that chicken tender's take-home box, and we could smell the chicken heating up? Yeah, I'm shining a light right now. It's outrageous. And then we burned plants. Yeah, you can see the beam in the air.

We burned everything nearby. It takes that long to get hot on my hand. It's hot. It just immediately starts burning my hand. I believe you. You don't have to keep doing it. Here, burn something close to you and let us see. It won't burn well because I don't have the lens.

So, like, it's got a lot of lenses that you attach to the tip to focus it in. And I can't find my lenses. And the lens kit is, like, $80. And I really don't feel like spending $80 on it but I guess I will. But I don't think it'll have anything handy. Those prostitutes are going to get a kick out of that. Oh, I'm going to burn

like they're going to play a game with this. I'll see if it'll burn my hat here after a while. Oh yeah, look at the smoke. See the smoke? Yeah. Yes. You can see the smoke in the air. Look at the smoke. See the smoke? Yeah. Yes! You can see the smoke in the air. Yeah, immediately, like, burning

through my fucking hat. It's pretty outrageous. And that's without the lens. Like, with the lens, it's three or four times more concentrated and hotter and, like, does its job better. It can burn right through a straw. Yeah, it'd burn a hole through it. Yeah. It's like an adult super toy

they're so much fun at night time you see the beam go into fucking stinks in here now you're burning your ceiling that's why oh yeah you're going to look up after this and realize the house is on fire

I'm installing new smoke alarms as long as it's pointed up it's safe It's just so much fun They're from wickedlasers.com again not a sponsor Or anything but they're just fucking cool I think they've advanced since then They have Now they're five times that

Maybe I think they got a three watt I haven't been on their website in a while but they're two or three times more powerful I think that you can get them now. How big of a legal laser can you have? I used to think it was 1 watt, but maybe there's... I don't know what the restrictions are.

People shine them at aircraft sometimes, like dummies, and get in a lot of trouble. It's a serious offense to shine it at an aircraft. There's a guy on YouTube who makes outrageous ones. It's like a shotgun. And it has like... It's like a shotgun. I don't want to exaggerate.

A hundred of what Kyle has. It doesn't last long. It gets hot. They sell one now that's three and a half times more powerful than what I have here. Probably a grant. It sucks when your awesome toys get less awesome just because something else exists.

Oh, and it... Wait. The three and a half watt one is $300 too. That's nice. I didn't pay shit. Yeah, you got that going for you. Yeah. Yeah, but 80 bucks and you could have one

almost as good as that. I can't see anything right now. I mean, you were just playing with what you called one of the most powerful lasers you can buy. Yeah. I mean you were just playing with what you called one of the most powerful lasers you can buy yeah I really should get those glasses at least I really I feel like I've been staring at the sun

how's your hand feel? it's fine it's got real hot I'm still interested in those whores I mean let's set a Patreon level and figure out the details later. I don't know how that shit would work, but I would blog that whole thing. We'll start a GoFundMe.

Yeah, let's do this. You and I will sit next to each other in wheelchairs and just imply that we have something terminal. We don't feel well unless we get laid by whores. I'll get one of those voice box things too. I want the brunette and the redhead. And you can be like standing next to me. That would be so funny. Like my attendant.

You could be like, Kyle, we only have enough money for one. I'm sorry, ladies. He's never been with a woman before. And get them to start like, oh, well, maybe we could do a discounted rate. That would be great. I don't have much money to get home on the bus. And then I'll do like a Bell's palsy face and

have like one side totally loose and the other one, you know, trying. That would be hard to fake. That's not a bad Bell's palsy. I've had some training in this. Every morning in the mirror. In the war, they made us use the chemical mask

and I didn't put mine on all the way. Now I know why Hitler had his mustache like that. Fun fact. I would love to pretend like there's something terribly wrong with us to get a discount on prostitutes in vegas that would be if we go get prostitutes in vegas we're not going to not pretend to have cancer or something i would love that

oh haggling i'd really like to see you try to bargain down a stripper on her price you do it without my son, David? All you government people using your flying machines. He comes in here, uses an Apple computer, gets right into the ship. I won't pay more than $7 for that pussy. It's all used. Oh, Jesus Christ. It looks like that thing that 11 from Stranger Things tries to close, you know, at the end of the show.

That's good shit. Yeah, you can bargain with whores. Absolutely. I've done it. You can definitely talk them down to a couple hundred bucks. This would be useful. This would be a useful informational video. Go up on the channel.

Like a how-to guide or a walkthrough on this. Because I think a lot of your viewers probably don't have any idea how to do that we it would be an exclusive uh video log only for the gofundme um you know people you know but it gives some return on their value absolutely only they would get it and you know there'd be x-rated portions of like the girls like maybe we get them to do a little dance you know you get that and then then you know we'd go behind closed doors and and fuck them and uh you know then we'd go out on the town and have a good old time and the highest contributors get a tape no okay no no no i i no the highest contributors what would they get what if you did a meetup for the highest contributors yeah in, in Vegas. You could totally hang out with us and our whores in Vegas.

Post. Post afterwards, yeah. No, no, before. You get to watch. I still want to be interested. You think if you hung out with some of our fans for an hour, you'd just lose your libido? God, did you see that one guy with a thing on his neck?

What the fuck was that? I mean more like if we bang the prostitutes and then take them out on the town, how long before we're like how much longer do we have to hang out with these prostitutes? Oh, I want to keep them like for a day. Like I want to like... Oh, like rent them. Yeah, I want the girlfriend

experience, the GFE. I want to like, I want them to come to our place, have a good time, watch some TV, maybe a little Netflix and fuck your whore, and then go out for a nice meal, do a little gambling, play a little craps. No, I don't want that. I want the abusive boyfriend experience. Every time I walk into the room and I look upset they like get a little flinchy and look at the ground they start shaking get teary eyes can i do a shout out to legitimate rage do not give me a timeline

that i have to go through with another goddamn fine truth comb to avoid demonetization i know it's tricky this episode and we've just been talking about fucking whores the whole time but your timelines are outrageous and I always have to go through them. Please. Just say, enjoying ladies of the night. I was really wanting to know about that, actually, because we started talking about this. I'm like, surely their monetization is just

gone right now. Who cares? Probably this episode, it's a tough one to keep. We've been on a hot streak. We lost two out of four and then I want to say we've had three in a row or something like that that weren't demonetized.

It's a constant issue on this show, as you might imagine. Would you get a black hooker? Sure. Yeah, right? Maybe I want three. Oh, I want the Neapolitan treatment. I want a blonde, a redhead, and a black chick. Would the Neapolitan treatment. I want a blonde, a redhead, and a black chick. Ooh.

Oh, man. Wouldn't Neapolitan involve an American Indian? Isn't Neapolitan like strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate? Oh, that's where the red people are. Right? The reds? Oh, red people. Redhead.

Redhead. I do see where you're going. No, I would never fuck a Native American. No, those smallpox-carrying, dirty fucks. Absolutely not. I don't even think they allow those savages in that state. They've got legal gambling there.

Stay on your reservation, you resi. I didn't even know that was a thing. I just made it up. Dirty resis. No welcome for you, bitch. They're a culture, not a costume. That's one that I hate. Are he feathers or dots?

You go ahead and get three, but I feel like we're both gonna, like, we're talking big now, but three prostitutes apiece, that's six prostitutes, and that has gotta be a lot of money. I mean, I'll chip in some, too. Now the whole point is that I mean I'll chip in some to chip in at all I don't

want to do whatever bargain if you have to chip in at all then he paid for a prostitute he's got a loophole of this thing either we we paid to fuck prostitutes or we did a funny bit Bargain box plausible deniability Exactly when I when you have to tell your future wife about this someday You don't want to say yeah me and my buddy. We went and fucked prostitute you want to say oh, yeah I used to do a podcast fucking don't look it up and we did a funny bit where i fucked a couple prostitutes and then she's gonna not be pleased probably but yeah she'd be like i used to work there ah i can't believe we didn't bump into each other. Like, I'm getting married. Fuck that.

That shit ain't happening. No, I, I, but I'm 100% down for that. If we could find some way to get that crowd funded up, I think that would be fucking hilarious. And I'd fuck some whores, you know. I don't know, who cares? It'd be great. It'd be great.

Just start a GoFundMe before. And, like, the more I look on this website, like, there's, first of all, there's, like, two or three dozen of these brothels. I was looking at the Mustang Ranch a second ago. There's a lot of hot chicks over there. I remember Howard Stern did a bit where

it was called Get My Grandpa Laid or something like that, where the grandchildren were coming in and were like, this is my grandpa. He deserves to go to the Bunny Ranch and fuck these two they had like two girls like who had been set to do this and they're in studio too like these are the two bitches that the winner gets to fuck and they're both smoking hot and you got three grandpas

telling their stories on why they deserve it one guy's like i was in the war you know this happened to me that happened to me i was married for years. She died of cancer 12 years ago. I haven't had any sex since then. And then the other guy... And they all had stories like that. They were all deserving of this. And Howard's like, well, would you do this with her? He's like, oh, she's beautiful.

Oh, yes. Do you like those breasts, Grandpa? Oh, they're beautiful. Yes, yes. So they finally picked this one guy, Edgar, whatever the fuck. He wins. So he and his grandson... Could have picked fuck he wins that's what i was saying like like and that's that was the kind of mood in the studio they were like and you know you all deserve some pussy so edgar whatever wins goes out to vegas and he's like well

before i get that pussy i'd like a nice steak dinner so they go and they like you know there's nice restaurants out there so edgar and his grandson go and they like, you know, there's nice restaurants out there. So Edgar and his grandson go and they get their steak and Edgar chokes on the steak and dies. That sounds like a bit. I don't know. I'm not buying it. Motherfucker's dead. Motherfucker's dead. No, Google this

shit. There's a whole, there's a, there are news stories covering this. It was a whole thing. This guy died. Like, like, like it was a sponsorship. It was a sponsorship deal between This guy died. If that's true, that's unbelievably sad. It was a sponsorship deal between the Bunny Ranch and the Stern Show, and they weren't able to bring it to fruition because the contestant died.

Yeah, there you go. Wait, who is this? Joey Boots? No, that's a different guy. That guy's not old. I'm sorry to see Joey Boots is dead, but that's a whole different bit. I'm sorry to see. Yeah, sorry to see good old Joey Boots is dead, but that's a whole different bit. I'm sorry to see. Good old Joey Boots is dead. I remember him. He's been in a lot of bits.

You should request those two hookers when you go. You know, those chicks are like race cars. After a year or two, they're kind of burnt out. They need a valve job. They need the cylinders re-bored. They need a crankshaft. The rear end's all, the gears are all torn out.

Tires are bald. Nah. It's been about five years since this. Yeah, here we go. There he is. There's the dude that died. And there's the chicks that he was going to fuck. They don't look as nice as they did in the studio. Look at that buck-toothed bitch.

Huh? I don't look as nice as they did in the studio. Look at that buck-toothed bitch. Huh? I don't know if those were the chicks that were in the studio. I was like, her teeth aren't that bad. Then I look at the other one. Ah, I see what you're talking about. Yeah, you were just distracted by the black chick's enormous nose and then you didn't notice those buck-toothed teeth on the blonde. The black chick that might just be

lighting. She looks like a chipmunk that grew up in Chernobyl. I feel like you're being really harsh. I am. Grandpa didn't get laid. Howard Stern contest winner, 86, died before... This is the USA Today for real? Yeah.

I told you, man. This is bullshit. When they covered this on the Stern show, when they were like, he died, it was not a laughing matter. It was like 9-11 when shit got real and everybody was like somber about it and they didn't crack any jokes it was like shit he died um wow his grandson tried the heimlich maneuver several times is this the real paper i'm gonna see you know it's so like so dubious isn't it right and it didn't get laid in the title is like just feel like USA Today is a classier joint than that. I promise you, Woody, this is not a bit.

This happened. I remember this happening. It was a big deal, and it got covered nationally, and the Stern Show didn't yuck it up about it because he was a really nice guy. I'm looking at the URL. It looks legit. One of the saddest days in Bunny Ranch history is a quote from there.

Right behind the Saturday of syphilis of 06. As we know, when someone snuck under the water. There was that time OJ came by. That was a rough night. I saw OJ got thrown out of a Vegas hotel the other night for being drunk and belligerent. That was a rough night. I saw OJ got thrown out of a Vegas hotel the other night for being

drunk and belligerent. That doesn't sound like him. He's normally such a nice guy. Usually a real calm-headed, level-headed guy. He's wielding a knife. Well, that's pretty sad. He brought a $10,000

tip to give to Kisses. And then it paid for a funeral. Ended up paying for a funeral. And I'm telling you, it was a long broadcast. The contest went on for hours, it seemed like. Maybe over a couple of days, because it took him a while to narrow this down. But each man had a very deserving sort of background. Where like, you know, they had fought.

One of them had fought in like, I want to say World War II, but that seems too old. But he had fought in a war and like, I don't know, had had diseases. Maybe, you know, his wife had passed away after like a really long marriage. Like 20, 30, 40 years or something like that. And one of the guys had never been with another woman. passed away after a really long marriage, like 20, 30, 40 years or something like that. One of the guys had never been with another woman, and it had been decades since the one guy had gotten laid. It was like, oh, yeah, this is a nice thing that we're doing here.

This old man, you can just imagine him having a good old time. And the girls seemed very cool with it. They were like, yeah, he's kind of cute all right i probably get good at hiding that reaction in that profession that's probably a job skill yeah it's a scab that they formed over the course of many old man fuckings beginning when they were very young probably that interview the interview process for that that's probably like i can just imagine the hands-on testing for that what they go through they just like show them some photos give them some descriptions and just check the reactions yeah it's like that test from um um blade runner where you're like you're in the desert and there's a turtle upside down on its back but you don't help it why am i not helping

it you're just not you're just not you're just not you just don't care you're not you just you just it's baking it's belly's baking in the hot sun and you just watch why don't i help it you just don't i don't like this you gotta make sure that these are the girls that some republican senator got a hold of you early i gotta i a scab formed over that part of their soul. Oh. Oh. At least the girls were going to fuck. I hope that story's true.

Never mind. I think I heard the Roy Moore story, and because I wanted it to be true, didn't question it. Whereas if it was, I don't know. Wait, did you say you wanted it to be true? Yeah. That he raped some girl? Yeah. Why would, did you say you wanted it to be true? That he raped some girl?

Yeah. Why would you wanted a rape story to be true? I wanted Roy Moore to get in trouble, to lose an election for things not to go well for this guy because I think he's bad. Okay, from that angle, not like the, you know,

fuck the kids up. But I think I need to step back and apply the same level of skepticism i would if it was like bernie sanders supposedly raped someone you know yeah let's wait and see how this plays out that's the thing is like we're skipping over the allegedly phase entirely now and we're also like it's a risky game of conflation now where they'll be like oh someone harassed oh louis ck masturbated in front of someone. Oh, this guy over here, he raped a young boy. And then it's just in the conversation of Twitter or whatever, which Twitter's not real

life, obviously. But you'll see, oh, Louis CK and Joe Blow, couple of rapists. It's like, well, not really. Like this conflation thing is I don't know It's not good like there needs to be better definitions of what was actually going on instead of kind of you know Like cuz Louis CK I don't think anybody's accusing him of doing anything more than masturbating in front of them, or is that is that's all I've heard Yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's really an act of endearment right that's charming

It's not charming wait wait wait it's not charming because i might be fucked no wonder all those pretty women dates went downhill so quickly the one i couldn't get laid by that was my big move that was my opener we've been making out for a bit let's and it's over six woody jesus. It should work that way. I swear. If a girl started diddling herself, I'd be like, hey, time to party. Right? But you flip that around and suddenly that's

not the case. That's different though. If you start to smell the fucking Tokyo fish market, you're like, you're getting in the mood a little bit. Think of it like this. You're a market, you're like, you're getting in the mood a little bit. Because think of it like this. Like, you're a man, and so, and you're in a desert of no Snickers bars whatsoever.

You have to work hard for every Snickers you get. And so if she starts trying to force a Snickers bar in your mouth, you're going to be eagerly enjoying that Snickers. Whereas she is sitting over there in the midst of a candy store. She need only reach for any candy. And you're, meanwhile, trying to shove your snickers into her mouth. She's like, I don't want that. I've got all sorts of other

candies over here. Butterfingers move. I'm a Milky Way girl. This is a correct analogy. This is... Filthy's an expert on sexual candies. Is he a target? I don't know what to say

anymore this episode has just been revolving this is like filthy

is always I just my wife teaches a human sexuality class and I just sat in on one of

the presentations there and there was a couple from a power exchange couple was in and they were talking about this and this is actually one of the things they talked about in this presentation. What is a power exchange couple? Are you going to explain that? Sure. A power exchange couple is a couple that's doing some sort of non-egalitarian relationship. So the decision making is not spread equally between that that that couple like one person is the decider yeah yeah that was one of the things that they talked

about uh when they're in this presentation it's actually a really interesting presentation one thing they talked about that was that you know that sex is for that couple whenever the one partner wants that sex that's that's just part of the negotiation for that relationship going into it so i was kind of imagining you know you're talking about your your snickers analogy and i was kind of imagining thinking about it from their perspective it was kind of interesting reddit.com slash our free use i've always got a subreddit for these yeah free use is not the same though well it sounds like it to me it sounds sounds like she is offering, or he is offering free... It sounds like she's offering free use.

Free use is when the dude just... She'll be on the computer, and he just sticks his cock in her mouth. But that's... It's anybody. Free use is like... Not always. There's a girl sitting in the library, and you can just bend her over and start fucking her. That's free use. That's the fantasy.

It's not really a thing that happens. Yeah, they were monogamous. Monogamish? No, they were monogamous. Ah. Were they saying, as part of their lecture, using themselves as the example, there are more healthy ways to

do a relationship, or were they presenting it more as like, hey, you do you. If this works for you, do it like this. They had a really interesting perspective. It was really interesting to hear it, which was that for them, you know, I think his background, he had said he was like he was a clinical psychologist of some sort. He had done therapy. He was a counselor for a number of years before he retired. said that you know one of the things that from his work and then from his life that causes problems in relationships is that kind of bean counter of power of like who who's responsible for what and

where those boundaries are and what you can get away with and what you can't this type of thing and that for them that that total all that power going to one person to make those decisions was something that was for them made their relationship more harmonious so okay it was a really interesting perspective i've never kind of heard it sold that way before that you know a lot of the conflict in for them made their relationship more harmonious so okay that was a really interesting perspective i've never kind of heard it sold that way before that you know a lot of the conflict in a relationship comes from that it might be sexual access it might be chores it might be whatever it happens to be that's causing conflict a lot of that yeah budget whatever it happens to be if all that is turned over to one person is the final decision making person in that then that does kind of do away with

that conflict to some degree yeah and if that works for you that seems like a great way to do it oh they weren't they weren't suggesting it worked for everybody or anything like that but they were talking about you know what worked for them and you know this was it was my again my wife's human sexuality class they were talking this was they were brought in to talk about this type of relationship it's kind of interesting it's really kind of a neat one to hear about you know what they never have to deal with is where do you want to go get dinner he just says we're going xyz and that's where they go you don't have to worry that much it is good i wonder where it starts and stops though right because like taylor mentioned that and i think he's kidding because i doubt

it's that complete i doubt she is completely subservient i assume he's the decision maker i'm just making that guess in that relationship yeah yeah like does she really have no say in dinner in budget does she have no say everywhere or does he just well he's got the last say so he they talked about this as well so you know his point was or one of the things they were talking about is that she's a really competent, powerful individual who's really good at stuff and has lots of skills. And that's a benefit to the relationship. He has the last say on it, but he doesn't micromanage everything. So he'll be, for example, she actually does the budgeting for their household in the sense of taking care of their finances.

And she's much better at it than he is. But he kind of has the say of where that will go, of what they want to use that for. She's just better at taking care of that. So it's kind of a, they called it a CEO, COO model or something like that, where that's kind of the mindset that they want to use. Master-slave isn't as catchy. They had some issues with the MS terminology. They didn't like that. Oh, is that a real terminology?

Yeah. Yes. Master-slave, yeah. Yeah. In relationships, you terminology? Yeah. Yes. Master-slave, yeah. Yeah. Huh. In relationships, you mean? That's a... Yeah.

Yes. Where are you from? I'd want to be the master. No. Get out of here, kids. We don't want to hear about your cuckoldry. It would be like a BDSM sexual thing. I didn't know that there was, like, an entire relationship of master-slave dynamic.

Yes. I figured that was something you check into a bit in the bedroom, and then afterward it's like, you know. Well, it's a spectrum. They live a 24-7 life, so that's for them all of the time. Okay. Man, that sounds great. I want to make all the decisions. I've told you, like, you've got to add FetLife to your, like,

list of, like, dating websites and dating apps. That might be your style of relationship right there. Who knows? What else do you find on FetLife? I guess fetishes. Absolutely anything and everything that you can imagine. All of the fetishes. There's someone who's into

them and their profiles list the ones they're into and their relationship status and their sexuality. What they're open to, what they're not open list the ones they're into and their relationship status and their sexuality. What they're open to, what they're not open to, what they're looking for. And you know, you can search on a wide amount of parameters and find whoever, whatever you're looking

for. And you know, whether it's sort of a casual thing or a more serious relationship and you know, some people are looking for crazy hardcore stuff. If you have this app. It's a website I'm not sure if they have an app, but it's it's a website FetLife Six million members Wow Facebook for kinky people

Well okay, I'll give this a go yeah You'll add it to your list you'll definitely do well. Get yourself a leather vest. Yeah, I don't have any leather articles of clothing. Shoes, baby. I'm wearing my Cole Haan leather shoes.

I'm going to use those to, I guess, kick you in the pussy when you want. I really do here. No, no, no. I'm totally into this. If you were looking for a girl, you could totally find a girl who wants to get fucked in the pussy by some Italian wingtips. That's on there.

I'd rather my dick. Plenty of them will want that. You know what the least sexy thing in porn is to me? When a girl sucks on a dildo. One has a strap on and the other's a girl sucks on a dildo right like one has a strap on and the other is giving the strap on a blowjob like where exactly is this

supposed to be hot if she's sucking a girl's strap on that is not sexy to me at all but if she's sucking a toy that she's just used on herself that can be a terrible thing or if by doing that to a toy she's demonstrating her prowess oh but but if there's no penis nearby

then really she's just i don't need it like i love those gifts where like the girls take like a 15 inch like crazy like jelly jelly i watch those and think if only it was 18 then i'd be okay yeah right and it's literally like, what do you call it? Distinction in the throat. There's a subreddit for you, by the way. Yeah, I know. Art of Distinction. Those are great.

We've mentioned Heather Brooks many times, the blowjob queen of the early 2000s who has disappeared off the face of the earth. She's a reigning champion as far as I'm concerned. She got her throat fucked to death or something. Wait, that's not true. Of course it's... No, that's not true. I'm just saying she disappeared

and she was famous for... I didn't hear all your words and it messed me up a little bit. She's an accountant now. I think it's something like that. Where do you have those reports? Pulls out like a file of facts. Where's those TPS reports? Do you have anything

like a TPS report at work? Like something that you just hate doing? Or do you account for all your time that week or like something that that seems like pointless record keeping uh yeah i mean there's i think there's stuff like that in every job where you're just like why could i possibly need this information kept in you know kept for for further use we're never going to touch this again but yeah yeah, I don't know.

I bet it's a lot worse in giant companies. I don't know how to account accounting. I don't know. But I imagine there's a ton of that in accounting where it's just all day dealing with shit that you don't feel like is super significant, but you just have to log everything. But that's the outside looking in.

At accounting there was, and at Cisco when I coded, we would often have to like, oh, whatever. It didn't even matter how many hours you worked, pretend it was 40 and then divide it appropriately. So if you did 80 hours that week, then everything would be a half hour. And they just want to know where to assign your expense to on all the projects.

And I always did a really good job at it. I filled them out perfectly. No one else did, so it would always fail. After six months, they'd be like, you know what? Fuck it. Just stop tracking your time. I'm like, wait a minute. All you people aren't doing this?

How do you just not do your job? They staged a mutiny, and I'm, like, the only asshole tracking all his metrics? It happened several times, and every time I was flabbergasted by it. That is always surprising at a job when you'll talk to someone who's just like, oh, yeah, I don't do that. It's like, what? But that's what they're paying us to do. That's part of why we're here. It's funny you mention that because I had a few of those on my own.

Like I didn't check voicemail. Like voicemail is not my preferred way to be contacted. They're like, but the red light's on your phone. I'm like, yes, that is what my phone looks like. That red light is always on.

I don't check those. And anyone who works with me needs to know that that's not the best way. Towards the end of Cisco, I was big time enough that i could just be like yeah i'll answer voicemails i mean i don't answer i do answer voicemails sometimes but most of the time they're so late when i finally check them and it's like hey we're confirming your fucking dentist appointment for september 8th i missed that yeah i got to i went

years i didn't know my voicemail password anymore. It became sort of not even an option to check them at some point because you had to enter a code. And they made everyone change their codes for security. And that's when I didn't know my code anymore. So plausible deniability. Yeah, I don't know. Whatever.

It did get to a point, like my last year there, where I was really a YouTuber who still had a job at Cisco. And that, I don't know. It was just like, you know, you guys are taking a lot of my time. I know you're doing layoffs. Pick me. Pick me. They didn't pick me.

Would you ever consider going back to Cisco? I do sometimes. I don't know if it'd be Cisco in particular. Cisco's not a bad place to work. Something similar. Yeah, every so often I'm like, I wonder if I'd like a larger daily mission or something, like a company to be a part of.

I don't know. Sometimes I think like I might enjoy that. It'd probably be fun for you to do it at a much smaller company so that you could like see the tangible results of your efforts. So it doesn't feel like it's just kind of pump an effort into a machine and then, you know, who knows if what you did actually led to the growth. Yeah, I've thought that too. A smaller company, not only could I think I could get a higher position in a smaller company,

that's typically easier to get, I think. But like you said, I'd be a bigger part of the machine as opposed to just a tiny little cog. Yeah. Yeah, so sometimes I think it might be neat to have a day job. Other times, the weather's right and i'm absolutely happy i can do whatever the fuck i want yeah how long has it been since you've had a day job woody uh i don't know i would all park like 2011 or 12 okay that's that's quite a bit of time at this point like five plus years yeah we're it's almost 2018 so yeah man hey kyle you cannot get your

thoughts off of this prostitution idea why is there a girl leaning over doggy style no i'm not upset by it i'm i'm down to go on the trip with you i'm i'm just trying to show that that there are some great selections out there right that this is okay okay, let's... I feel like I know Bell really well here. I know a little bit better than I did a few minutes ago. This scripture includes blue eyes, classy, and high class.

Kyle, do you have a little bit of time tomorrow to set up a GoFundMe for us? And then we can both get a Photoshop picture of us in wheelchairs or something? I have to say this. Kitty has an extra wheelchair. Oh, I don't even have one wheelchair. Oh, we can rent one.

I'm not renting a wheelchair. I'll just lay on the ground and let it be applied. I got crutches. Yeah, I would ship you some crutches and a boot. Like Walt Jr. I don't ship things to Taylor, apparently. Like Walt Jr. Dad.

I'm just here to get pussy you pull a fucking Walt Junior and I'll roll in there all I need to be great with the voice box and everything we're going to sabotage ourselves porn star

I wish I could get a bigger picture does she not look exactly like Faye Reagan that's why. Yes, she does. Yes. Is it her? No, certainly not. I don't like actual porn stars.

Like actual porn stars, I don't care for it. Like amateur is the way to go. Faye Reagan is one of my favorite porn stars. She's got a similar jawline. I'm into it. And of course, she's a redhead, but Asian escorts, I didn't even see this You're very much looking looking for the Asian escorts. Well. I mean if it's an option

Lilo looks like she got shot in the pussy with a cannon. I'd prefer this this cute redhead to an Asian girl Which one there's two there? Roxy. Really? And the other one. Both of them I would prefer to an Asian gal. Give them the choice. I really like red hair. I know. That's why I picked him out.

Yeah, those are the best redheads on the site. I like that Kyle's looking out for him. I know what he's looking for. This is what friends do. You can tell Kyle and I are close because he knew immediately the two women on this site that I'd like to fuck the most. Absolutely.

This has been a good PK. I'd like you to order from me at a restaurant. I think maybe that's how you should do it. Kyle should pick them out for you. You're going two each, right? Kyle can pick one for you and one for himself and you can pick one for yourself and one for Kyle. What if they pick the same girl?

He'd end up with Big Bertha. What if Taylor picks for himself the one that Kyle picks for Taylor? That poor guy stuck with one chick? That's true. She gets paid twice. We'd have to meet up and converse beforehand. Who's this? Indigo?

It's probably not her real name. You don't think? No. Yeah, that's good stuff. I really need to click on these pictures and see full-sized versions of them. I mean, the picture's already a postage stamp, and

then they occupy half of it. So this is who you would want, Kyle? No, no. The two redheads were pretty high on my list. I think the Asian chick here, Lee, the geisha yoga petite muscle massage lady, she's pretty hot. I just picked Indigo, you know,

because she's like the giant-titted black chick, and you've got to have one of those in the mix. Indigo is black? This is a good idea, too. Indigo because she's like the giant titted black chick and you gotta have one of those in the mix. Indigo is black? This is a good idea too. Indigo is black. The girls that we get we need to make sure that at least one of them for each of us also is a masseuse because we can get like a

great massage as well. Yeah, I'm a big fan of that. That's a good idea. This is a white girl to me. We're banging on all cylinders. But the description says she has a big fan of that. That's a good idea. This is a white girl to me. We're banging on all cylinders. But the description says she has a hot chocolate body that is smooth and silky. So I guess she's black, but not to me. The Mustang Ranch.

No, I'm on bunniesoflasvegas.com slash escorts. So these are all escorts that are like, you know, they're a lot more, they're a lot easier to deal with. You get them to come to you. They're not based in some whorehouse somewhere getting all sticky. Yeah, good times. Fuck

roller coasters. Oh, honestly, if they have roller coasters in Vegas, let's do that as well. Yeah. They have one on top of the casino, right? Yeah, but it's lame. But it's on top of a casino, so it kind of gives it a point or two. This is going to be a blast of a trip.

Hookers, massages, some gambling, other things in Vegas, roller coasters. That's it. But that's a lot of fun on a trip. Yeah. Yeah. I hate Vegas usually, but I usually don't fuck prostitutes. So that would add to the mix.

That's a bridge you've already crossed. I've never done that before. Ah, it's a good time. You don't have to worry about her feelings or anything. Yeah, or STDs. Or wait. They check them every 10 years Taylor you're fine they check them once at 18

and then they retire at 28 yeah that'd be fun I like to play Texas Hold'em when I'm out there like to sit down at the like one two dollar tables you know buy in for four or five hundred dollars and you can you just play conservative you sit there for hours and hours and play. It's real fun.

That's the only gambling I like to do out there. Yeah. Well, I'm going to... We need to make a reservation to make sure that the right ones are available for our trip. But we're getting ahead of ourselves. We need to set up a GoFundMe. I mean, there's like 10,000

prostitutes there, so you can probably find one. If you guys hustle and get the GoFundMe up by Saturday, I think you'll succeed. Kyle, please set this shit up. This is going to be fucking

hilarious. If you want. If not, whatever. No, no, I'm down. I'm down. Probably, yeah. All you need is version 1.0 up by Saturday. She just said, I mean, you're already going to hell. That's not true. I mean, if there is one.

When I said, just throw me in the trash. In the trash, Charlie. All you need is something up. You could, whatever, take a selfie in the wheelchair. Write some copy. I think Taylor can write the copy. And, bam! Version 1.0. This is going to be...

I will do this. I know that, like, it's hard for me not to be tempted to do this because first of all, I enjoy Las Vegas when, you know, there's lots of things to do. You're there for the scenery, you're saying. No, I'm saying that like I'm sure that like some people will say

oh they're never gonna do this this won't happen but I'm absolutely down to do this it's probably not gonna be anytime soon but maybe next year sometime we'll get this thing going I'd happily do this I have no issue with like making a vlog about I have no issue

with making vlogs about fucking prostitutes. It would be hilarious if it were crowdfunded in some way. And I would totally do the wheelchair thing bit. And I don't know how those voice box things work, honestly. I have

no idea what the mechanism... But I think I can fake it pretty well. Let me pitch this. In the beginning of January, there's a Paramotor fly-in that I intend to go to, and I was going to ask Chiz to produce it and dial in like

we did when I was in California. We could not do the show that first week in January while you guys were in Vegas and I was in Florida. Just a thought. Just a thought. We'll have to think about that. As much as I am joking around, I would really have to think about this a bit. Oh, I thought you finished thinking about it. I thought you were in. In my joke life, I thought, stop thinking about it. But for real,

I would have to think about the prostitute thing because I don't I just don't know because I do feel like there's a stigma once you sleep with a prostitute if because you have to tell future potential partners about that no actually there's I checked the rules and that's not true oh I feel like I'd have to out of well you know what I'm not telling to tell her about all the other stuff right so all right i convinced myself again twist my arm i i'm absolutely down i i absolutely am i i have no reservations about the thing no no no shame here like i've already talked about fucking a prostitute before. It's kind of already popped that cherry there, so to speak. It does seem like it'd be a fun trip

as well. I have mixed feelings about Vegas. Every time I go, it's a shitty experience. I get nosebleeds there because the desert air is so dry, and I really despise the... I don't know how to describe

it the commercialization of the entire fucking town like I don't like the casino experience at all I don't like the I don't know everybody there just seems so cheap and shitty and awful and most of the people have come there to like

I don't know use the entire town like it's a whore. And I know that's pretty much literally what we're talking about doing. Exactly what we're talking about doing. Yeah, but my... The casino experience, have you ever done it as a high roller? No. I've done it as a high roller tag along once.

And it's a little better. Yeah, I could see that maybe. That's because you're dropping so much money not personally but yes i yeah when i went i mean i i've had really nice suites there before like like really nice fancy suites like i don't know what the last time maybe it was like overlooking where they have the uh pirates the caribbean like show with the explosions and shit like i was looking right at that, and the entire wall was glass. So I had a really, really nice suite there.

As far as the gambling goes, the only... I don't know how to play blackjack well enough to be competent at it. I know the rules, basically, and everything, but I know Texas Hold'em well enough, I think, at least, my opinion of myself, is I'm quite good, and I almost always

make some money when I play, especially when I play really slow and kind of grind for a few hours and just just play good play good hands um so that's the only kind of gambling i'm interested in doing because i think of it as a game of skill that i could actually uh win some money doing i like craps i understand like 85 of the rules and craps and i'll pretend to be great at it but that's where the loudmouths are to be great at it but that's where the loud mouths are that's where the cheering is that's where the camaraderie is at the craps table everyone has like a common goal you know we're all hoping he hits his eights or his nine or whatever we're all hoping yeah it's and so if you if you play craps and i'm not a big gambler or anything

but if you play craps and you make your minimum bets and you're just in it to like enjoy an atmosphere where everyone's excited uh it's pretty cool and typically if someone does poorly and everyone loses money they're not mad at that guy it's just like ah you know it's a it's a communal loss as well it's it's more fun that's why i like it if i'm being honest that's the one that appeals to me the least because of all the things you just described like i don't care about any of those fucking people i hate people cheering i want everybody shut the fuck up so i can do math in my head like like i want to sit there and yeah i want to sit there in complete silence i want to throw dice like like i i really enjoy the poker table and

uh you know the like looking around everybody and trying to see somebody flinch when they like look at the cards like oh i want to, oh, I want to watch people's betting patterns and try to memorize stuff over the course of a couple hours and win the game skillfully. I've never played at a table like that, any game, because my gambling experience is one time I've been to a casino and I spent $50 on like a roulette and then a little bit of not a roulette. No.

Yeah. The roulette thing. And then a little bit of not a roulette all right no yeah the roulette thing and then a little bit of craps and I don't know crap seemed more fun because everybody's standing around not giving a hundred percent attention to the game all the time like talking like laughing I don't know it it's more kind of play I used to play two nights a week for like at least four hours a night late like we play noit Texas Hold'em. One and two dollar blinds, No Limit. Do you think they have magic there?

Magic the Gathering? At the whorehouse. What if I make the hookers play magic with me? There you go. No, you tap it because you already spent that mana is we bring our hordes onto a twitch stream and play fucking games and when we lose they do stuff in the background wearing like g-string uh swimsuits then we then we then that we pay for a horse that way we get donations all night like pimping out our spectacular ideas and we are walking a razor's edge of legality

no we're not this is twitch baby they'll love it yeah we just went through this and how anything flies on there like like this this is i'm telling you this is i i'm we can have uh the first six minutes of my nazi zombie gameplay from 2011 playing the whole time just in the bottom corner in the little thing uh i would i would fly my my fucking gaming setup out there like i'll sit on the plane with my gaming pc and in one hand and my my monitor bubble wrapped up in the in the in the mail it i guess i don't know i would do that that this is all sounding very fun to me because i i've often thought that like it would sounding very fun to me um because i i've often thought that like it would be fun to like take whores if i was doing a twitch stream which

i eventually plan to do as soon as i have internet to do it um that that like getting whores on stream literal prostitutes or and or strippers would be like the way to go because i've seen like like what we talked about earlier like the instagram girls who go on there and make money and i've seen like guys who have hot girlfriends basically like parade their girlfriend about to like make a little money on there and do stuff and sort of work the crowd why not just hire prostitutes you know who have no why not i mean morality who cares throw that out the window filthy is an expert in this aren't women kind of all prostitutes in one way or another I mean in generally that's their role

that's what you were saying before the show definitely not willing to we're going to be adamantly no on that one let's call that a wrap let me tell everyone just one more time a little bit more about War Dragons. Support for today's show

comes from War Dragons, a mobile real-time strategy game where players directly control dragons to attack enemy bases. With over 150 dragons to collect, players can join guilds to launch co-op attacks and co-op defense. Best of all, there's a new end-game feature called Atlas, which is a 3D persistent world where players can

forge alliances with other teams and build up dragon-led armies, fight for new land, and secure lucrative rewards. Just go to wardragons.com slash painkiller via your phone or tablet to download the game. Remember, phone or tablet, not your desktop computer. War Dragons. Check them out.

And also check out our good buddy Filthy Robot. Where can everybody find your stuff YouTube or Twitch FilthyRobot and Twitch and FilthyRobot on YouTube so it should be pretty easy to find come check it out do a lot of gaming content guide videos playing a lot of Battle Brothers Darkest Dungeon

all the Civ 5 content up there if you like that all kinds of weird commentary expertise and he's obviously a great guy who knows how to roll with the punches so check him out. We've been playing Total War Warhammer 2. Yeah. I haven't quite managed to get into that, but it looks decent.

I'm getting better and better. I beat a top 250 player the other night, although I did get shit on by a YouTuber and then he uploaded it, so that was fun. Perfect. PKA 360.