Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #361

Episode Date: November 24, 2017

This week on PKA, Kwebbelkop is back baby! Taylor gives us the tale of "Big boys do what they want!", the guys go over Wing's recent emotional breakdown on stream and more hilarity.

Pin Killer Ready, episode 361 with our guest, Quibble Cop. Kyle? What's up? A couple sponsors tonight. Whistle.com, Omaha Steaks, Casper Mattresses, War Dragons, and Redbox. Speaking of Redbox, video games are super fun and super expensive. And once you bust open that plastic, you're stuck with them. That's why Redbox lets you try out the hottest new games risk-free.

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Message and data rates apply. For terms, visit redbox.com slash text club. And for privacy policy, visit redbox.com slash privacy. Links below. Also, War Dragons. Support for today's show comes from War Dragons, a mobile real-time strategy game where players directly control dragons to attack enemy bases

with over 150 dragons to collect. Players can join guilds to launch co-op attacks and co-op defenses. Best of all, there's a new in-game feature called Atlas, which is a 3D persistent world where players can forge alliances with other teams to build up dragon-led armies, fight for new land, and secure lucrative rewards. Just go to wardragons.com slash painkiller via your phone or tablet device to download the game It must be on your phone or tablet not your desktop computer links are all below All right, so what's our lead-off topic is it the all the scandal was mr. Franken mr.

Frank and we should just say and the rest of the scandals. Yeah, I don't want to change Look, mr. Franken is the first topic I get that Roy Moore has had three more accusers in the last 24 hours. And he got through the liar. Oh, did he? And Sylvester Stallone. Okay, so let me – I really like the Al Franken thing because it's hot off the presses. But what happened with Roy Moore, for anyone who doesn't know, is he said that he didn't even know this high school girl. And then she's like, oh, really? Well, here's my high school yearbook that he didn't even know this high school girl uh and then she's like oh really well here's

my high school yearbook that he wrote in and it's his signature like like he claims it's not he says it was go on it is though well i don't know you see that's what that's what he's that's what i thought was the case when you said he got proved a liar so she she provide or produces this high school yearbook and now they're going to have people they can't like handwriting analysis whether it's his or not is you know kind of a pseudoscience but what's not a science is whether the ink is old or new and or what is a science i said that backwards so think about that yeah so they will be able to tell like if this is a 30 year old-old signature, then he's busted. If it's new ink, then he'll be vindicated.

And Creeper probably signed it. Here's what I think is going to happen with this guy. I bet that amongst his, I don't even know anymore. I'm going to say nine accusers. It's a good guess. If it's not nine, it will be soon. I'm going to guess that among those nine, somebody's lying, and that's going to invalidate the eight truths. That's what I think will happen in the next month. The conservatives have already turned on this guy.

All the top Republicans, even Sean Hannity. Not Trump. And barely Hannity. Trump's not a conservative. Look, we've lost Trump. Trump is out there. I see Trump drinking water like he's sucking a cock and approving ivory imports and pushing coal

for... We're done with Trump. Trump has gone off the fucking railing right now. I'm just saying, he's a comedy show at this point. I think even he has given up on being a normal kind of president you see if he's out he's out of it forget about him but but like the actual conservative

republicans and their talking pieces like hannity they've all turned on roy moore and they're all like with the accusers dude even hannity is like and i see people out there saying the sevens are different forget about the sevens. It's his handwriting, folks. It's his handwriting. It's funny because I watch a lot of Hannity and he does not seem anti-Rory Moore at all to me. He is not

where he should be. He's turned. Today, I guess, because I was watching last night. His radio show's different. Okay, I'm watching on Fox News. I've been watching tons of Fox News lately. I was watching last night. Yeah. Radio shows different. Okay, I'm watching on Fox News. I've been watching tons of Fox News lately. I could talk about that. That is a shit show. Those people are not, that's not even news. It's ridiculous.

It's outright lies. It's constant, like, diversion tactics. What about hymism? It should be the name of their show. What about hymism? Yeah, just non-stop, like, oh, there's this other guy did something similar. They have a show apparently called The Real Russian Scandal where they just talk about Hillary all the time

while it says The Real Russian Scandal, implying the Trump one is the fake one. Outrageous. I've been inundated with Fox News lately. Every once in a while, I'm like, is that a good point? I need to do my own research on this. But by and large, it's just like Tucker Carlson has no morals. He's just out there like.

No morals. I've never really watched his show. What do you hate about him? In particular. Other than like his sour face. Every time someone's talking, he's like. Taylor? I don't know about that. We call that tuck face. He's his sour face. Every time someone's talking, he's like, I don't know about that. We call that tuck face. He's a tuck face.

Oh, tuck face. Tuck face. The thing is, it's... Kyle's got a good tuck face. Yeah. He flips tight. Just like he's like, what are you trying to get out there? Yeah, yeah.

The issue with him is it is constantly misleading. That's my issue. And I don't think Tucker Carlson is dumb, right? Which makes it worse, right? Nancy Grace, I occasionally wondered if she didn't even know what she was doing. If she was just on the wrong thing. I wish she would get kidnapped by one of those rapers. I think she honestly believed in her heart that marijuana turned people into homicidal maniacs.

She also said that professional wrestling was like the most dangerous thing ever. She's like, did you know that professional wrestling is one of the most dangerous things you can do? Chris Benoit murdered his family because of choke slams and bouncing his head off of that board. Of choke slams and bouncing his head off of that board. Where I was headed with that when I compared her to Tucker Carlson is she's stupid, which makes her not evil to me. It's stupid. That's something different. Tucker Carlson, on the other hand, is smart.

And what he is doing is intentional. He's intentionally misleading and misinforming millions of people out there as a plot. And that's why he's so much different and it's hard to say that though because i think rachel maddow is a pretty smart person too for sure but i don't think she's like intentionally misleading like remember that uh the trump tax thing where she just basically yeah loviated for 25 minutes and made shit up and then was like and look didn't make anything up nothing she just overhyped a tax return but she does that all the time like that's kind of the paradigm of her show is that she like starts and will build up a case Didn't make anything up. She just overhyped a tax return. But she does that all the time. That's kind of the paradigm of her show is that she starts and will build up a case that's full of nonsense and allusions to things that may be real.

And then in the end, she ties it all together. But I'm not convinced that she's sitting there thinking like, oh, this is a lie and I'm duping people. I think she probably believes what she's saying for the most part. I don't believe that about Tucker at all. I believe that Tucker and I watch a lot of him. It's just flat out like, you know, oh, my God, somehow I need to take the heat off this Republican. I'm going to pretend this Democrat did the same thing. I'm going to mislead this.

I'm going to you know, the real Russian scandal is like the title of his last show. It shows for like every day for the last week. He talks about the real Russian scandal. And that is just intentionally misleading, right? This Trump thing is not fake, right? I think what it is with Tucker and with I think they're just playing to their audience, you know? Like that's what the Fox audience

wants to hear. And if you start telling them like, if you start going the other direction, they'll just tune out. But Rachel Maddow needs to show a little more cleavage. That's the only complaint I got about her. She could fucking up my taxes to 100% and like...

She could move refugees into my house if she wanted to. She looks like a boy. She's aged really well. I think she's hot too. I know. I know that she's hot because she know I know that Rudy thinks she's hot because she has the same haircut as him and a big jawline

a big strong I do think she's pretty and I bet she could rock a strap on like no other 44 that's what gets me she's aged really well now I know you always see her in the perfect angle in studio lighting with studio makeup

but for 44 she's held up really well it's hard to know you always see her in the perfect angle in studio lighting with studio makeup, but for 44, she's held up really well. She's smart. You know that if you could turn Rachel Maddow straight, then I just imagine her and I having these really heated political arguments, because

she's so far off to the left. I feel like I'm somewhere in the middle. I really have opinions and thought processes that come from both sides. I got guns on my side. And I just imagine having angry sex afterwards. Like just fucking the liberal. This is a really weird fantasy.

Let's circle back to the topic. Or maybe she'd suck the conservatism out of me. Ah, this is much better though. Fucking Rachel Maddow? All right, back to the topic maybe she'd suck the conservative conservatism out of me ah this is much better though fucking rachel maddow all right back to the top is it al franken yeah so al franken yeah i guess we'll with roy i forget what we're doing kyle your audio is ruined was the star. It was-y. You say, Al Franken is the star. Now he's frozen like this. The Al Franken thing.

I think you're okay now. You moved again. There are so... Al Franken isn't even the newest celebrity slash politician slash Hollywood person to be accused of stuff. Because Sylvester Stallone's came out today, too. But we got to go, we got to finish Al Franken. I get it. Sylvester Stallone.

The Al Franken. Oh, do you want to lay it? I'll lay it out. So, Al Franken did two things that I understand. One, he went on this, is it FSO? What is it? USO. USO, thank you.

On this USO thing, which I think is when they bring celebrities out to the front lines and cheer up the troops, right? So he's going to go out there and maybe tell some jokes or whatever. And he's with this person who's now a radio host. I don't know what she was at the time. And he takes a picture of her while she's sleeping.

They say he's grabbing her boobs. I guess he is because he doesn't deny it or whatever. It almost looks in the picture like he's pretending to grab her boobs because she's wearing a bulletproof vest. Right? And I'll grab the shot. Wait, but she's sleeping? Yeah. While she's sleeping.

That's important. He's pawing at her breast while leering at the camera. Yeah. And it's so clearly him. Yeah, yeah. There's no denying this. There's a previous part to the story, too, where they were doing a skit. This guy, Franken, and this lady were doing a skit together, and they had to kiss in the skit.

And she was saying that he was super aggressive and insistent about like we need to practice this kiss beforehand we got to practice this kiss beforehand and so he said that or she said that he like forced himself on her like with like they did their lines and then he like mushed her face into his face and forced his tongue in her mouth and she was really descriptive about the whole yeah and then said that like oh i just wanted to get out of there and wash the taste of him out of my mouth and the rest of the tour he was all mean to me and nasty. And I just tried to avoid him. The opposite.

She said the rest of the tour, she was mean to him. She, like, gave him the cold shoulder all tour long. And he didn't pick up on that signal. Maybe. The way I heard it is that the rest of the tour, he was not kind to her. And he tried to avoid her. Or tried to avoid him, rather. Okay.

And then the breast thing happened after all that. Huh. I avoid him rather okay and then the breast thing happened after all that huh i could be wrong i thought the breast thing was first but no that was the trip back okay okay so i think it was the kiss then the breast thing and franken issued a statement about it uh he basically said investigate it like i'm down you can investigate it if you like he said uh i'm sorry uh that you know obviously there's no denying this he said that he was sorry for doing it and the whole kiss thing like we should practice our skit uh he doesn't remember it the way she did that that's what he says like um the the whole thing about him saying oh the ethics committee investigate me that the fact

that someone caught in something where they are clearly guilty, that a politician would say, investigate me, Ethics Committee, is a way for them to say, get this out of the news. Let me claim false responsibility, and I know that the system will protect me. Because between 2007 and 2016, the Senate Ethics Committee has imposed how many sanctions do you think? I'm going to guess zero. Yes, exactly right. Zero zero i had no idea that was psychology not history but carry on but like that's that's what it is it's like saying uh get me out of the news let me claim false responsibility and then the system will protect me i haven't heard that it's really shitty that false responsibility expression before but it's one

of my pet peeves when someone says i, I take full responsibility for this, and then people start praising them for that bullshit, the reality is, there is no getting out of full responsibility for it. Dick Cheney took full responsibility, I think, for shooting that guy in the face with a shotgun while they were out hunting. Yeah, asshole. You shot a guy in the face while hunting.

That guy walked out of the line, though. He apologized for it all. He did, which is great. He should have. I ruined it perfectly. It goes on three trips. But when people claim the other common denominator of I accept full responsibility is I expect no repercussions. That's always the other common denominator.

Exactly. So that might be where Franken's headed on this. But he hailed it right, but there weren't a lot of choices. always the other common denominator of it so that might be where franken's headed on this but he he hailed it right but there weren't a lot of choices you know there is no that's not me in the picture everyone's looking at it all the sexually accused people handle it right you know they don't fucking not roy moore roy moore handle roy moore is sean hannity was a total fucking moorhead right he was on his side to an extreme extent and he says things like so look you know when you were in your 30s you didn't make a regular habit of grabbing 14 year olds hands

and putting them on your penis and he responds with something close to not a regular well i wouldn't make a regular habit out of that and i swear i didn't date any little girls without permission of their mom first that That's not handling it right. That's also a bit of an indictment on these mothers. It's not about them. Other people one wouldn't give out her phone number and her parents wouldn't have anything to do

with it. He calls them at school and has her pulled out of trigonometry class so that he could ask her out on a date. He was tutoring that young lady. He was not tutoring that. Well, he was teaching her a on a date. He was tutoring that young lady. He was not tutoring that. Well, he was teaching her a thing or two. They should make him do trig.

No, no, no. He was covering anatomy. Here's a basic trigonometry equation. Can you show that you're actually tutoring this? Yeah. One of the creepiest things to me about the whole Moore thing, and then I guess we got to get back to Franklin and Stallone coming up next, but it's the yearbook thing because it's like, when is the last time

you guys wrote in someone's yearbook? Oh, I remember. For me, it was senior year. It was 1991. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know. Oh, Kyle. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, yeah, it's been from high school. Like, I think, yeah, yeah, since high school. I haven't signed one since. How about you, Cole? When's the last time you signed ever? Like, never. That like never they don't do that i sign stuff all the time like yeah yeah yeah it comes over goes oh yo and then sometimes accidentally put my real signature and i'm like shit i just bought a house i guess i sometimes think about my fictional political career that follows pka and uh like i recently was – state senators are winning all over the place, right?

All you have to do now is run as a Democrat, and you might get elected because it's really easy to win as a Democrat in this climate. And in Virginia, like random people with no funding, no backing, no nothing stick their name on the ballot and win. It happened a bunch in Virginia last week. So I was like, well, how much does a state senator make? I'm going to ask you, Kyle, and get one guess. How much does a state senator in North Carolina make, do you think? A state senator?

I would guess $48,000 a year. You're kind of close. It's $13,000. Holy shit! They get a per diem that adds up to like $330,000 or something. Okay. Oh, nailed it! Yeah, you. Holy shit. But they get a per diem that adds up to like $330,000 or something. Okay. Yes.

Oh, nailed it. Yeah, you did pretty well. If you count the whole per diem, which I wouldn't. You know why? Because basically it's people who live far away and have to live in Raleigh. It would be very hard for me to claim $30,000 worth of per diem expenses when I live 10 minutes from the Capitol. I mean, you'd fly right on in, right? You'd force them to install an airfield

so that you could go right on to the state senate lawn. But yeah, there's really not a lot of money in being a state senator. I thought it would be better. But anyway, I was thinking to myself about things that I've signed. And I've told this story before, but basically we were going to paintball in Chicago,

maybe the first time or second. And some guy reaches out to me in stream and says, Woody, if I come, will you sign me tits? And I'm like, yes, of course I will. And he's a 14 year old guy battling weight issues and he wanted his tits signed. So it was on top of a white t-shirt. Yeah, signed them.

There goes my future. There's a wonderful picture of me somewhere where it's me, Woody, and that fat guy from the last paintball trip in Chicago. He's wearing a bikini. He's wearing a women's bikini.

In the picture, I've got his tit in my hand, and I'm squeezing it going, ooh. It's me, Woody, and that guy, and I've got a full hand of his B-cups. Now you'll notice the young man is smiling as this man grabs his tit. We believe this is because of the power imbalance in the relationship. He's not able to do this. Taylor, when you're a star, you get away with it. They let you. You can do anything.

He was into it. When you shoot guns on the internet, when you almost get hit by bits of porcelain from toilets, they let you do anything. They'll let you sign their tits over a wife beater. But yeah, the Franken thing, that was... I don't think there's going to be any repercussions from that and all i don't know there will because like uh and also here's the here's the thing

bill clinton is going to start getting called out big time they're going to totally because there's no more political value to bill clinton they've already realized that everybody hates hillary clinton and bill is no longer valuable and so they're going to throw him under the bus and pretend like it's been a huge mistake of like, you know, we really should have taken these the last couple of decades a little more seriously. So the thing about the Bill Clinton thing is Fox News is pushing that narrative hard. And like I said, I've been watching Fox News constantly lately. And it's just that me too ism that like look at him over there thing. That's like Fox News runs that nonstop.

They're just like, yeah, he's getting in a little trouble with Russia. But the real thing is Hillary over here and her Russia scandal. They like Swift boat nonstop. So they're attacking Clinton on this stuff. And look, I don't want any cover for Clinton. I would love for him to get locked up. Lock him all up. I don't give a fuck.

I would like the next person who's in a position of power to be thinking, you know what? If I try this shit, I probably won't get away with it. That would be ideal. But the number one story trending on Reddit right now is a People Magazine article about Donald Trump's sexual assault accusers demand justice in the hashtag

MeToo era. On Reddit, eh? The Reddit? What is Reddit like the fourth most popular website i'm just saying it's just it's the most one-sided website it's out there it's very far left i probably is i i don't think we should be looking at it down party lines though i think that the real issue is that like people in positions of, not just straight white men, it's gay men, it's women in positions of power, have been abusing that power for sexual gain, among all kinds of gain. But namely, sexual gain, that's the real issue that's coming to the forefront.

Speak ever! Like, since the dawn of time, when that first chieftain was over there grabbing Uglug's wife's booty while she was in the bushes or whatever. The real problem here is the women. They're at fault. They're the people prostituting themselves for career advancement. Woody, that's very un-PC. In some situations

that's absolutely true. If women didn't constantly fucking whore themselves out to get that promotion at work then, well there goes my political career. And some men. And some men. And some men. How do you think I got here?

I think I had to suck to get this many subscribers. It takes a lot to break into the multi-million dollar real estate game, right, Queb? It just waltzes in. I had to get some discounts and stuff like that. You're lining two guys up head to head. I'm like, let me jam it down. Am I going to get fucked in the ear by a Norwegian real estate tycoon? I have.

It's great. It's great. I was just going to say, sometimes I have these fan meetups, and then these parents come over, right? And they're, like, ladies of age, I should say. And, you know, I take a picture with their son or whatever. He's a little kid, like 12 years old. And then all of a sudden the mom goes oh now it's my turn and she like swoops in grabs me like halfway on

my abs oh yeah we zzz me in and and it's just great yeah I got my subscriber no I have dated if you will about three, about three or four viewers, mothers or sisters. Like that's how I've met several young ladies was that their kid watched my stuff or their brother did and they introduced them to it. or their brother did and and they introduced them to it and uh and so yeah that's because you know right on tinder it said like likes this channel and you're like oh no no from facebook or you know twitter or uh or something like that yeah yeah yeah you got quiet after that when i said i fucked fans moms everyone i've played against on Xbox I have. Yeah, I don't know where this whole sex thing is going to go. I mean, they were asking for it. I think they're all going to have their careers at least semi-ruined.

Part of one of the things that's a little difficult to follow with all these stories is, first of all, there's so many of them that unless you have all day to be reading the news, they blend together. And there's very little differentiation on the different levels of creepiness or assault or rape. No, I disagree. And so I just feel like they'll list it in. So they'll be like, oh, fucking Weinstein and Louis C.K. and now Sylvester Stallone. And they're all doing this shit. And it's like, well, hold on, because what Weinstein did isn't at all like what Louis CK and now Sylvester Stallone and they're all doing this shit and it's like well hold on because what Weinstein did isn't at all like what Louis CK did like I didn't know as much about the Louis CK thing until I read his statement and he said like

I never did this in front of anyone that I didn't ask before a couple of the women who were asked said like yeah he asked if he could take his dick out and start masturbating and he did and we started laughing we were sitting there and then he came on his belly and then we got up and left while we were laughing. And it was like, wait, so this was just him indulging in some creepy fetish that he likes?

And they gave permission, right? It sounds okay, right? It was like, wait, this has just gone from an abuse of power to he just has a really pathetic thing that he likes to do that he did. He has no game. Well, the permission, I think, is a little exaggerated. Because what I've been hearing is he kind of asked and did it without getting a, yeah, let's.

Without written permission. As in a joke, yeah. Like, hey, what would you say if I grabbed my dick right now guys right right yeah it goes back to the thing we always talk about like how like if you're dating a girl like you're not gonna

I see in the movies sometimes they're like would it be okay if I kissed you now and it's like I have never said that in my life do you know what happens if you do ask that you hear the sound of crumpling dry fall leaves as that vagina dries right up. Or the girl says, like, mood ruiner. Well, I would have if you hadn't asked. Right.

Like, you could totally get that response. You know, it's bizarre to ask. Like, you just look for body language. What does every woman in the world say they're attracted to? Confidence. Confidence. And what does it show a profound lack of when you're on a date with someone and you

ask, hey, can I grab your hand? May I hold your hand? May I kiss you? It's like, no, of course you don't do that. You have to read the situation and then make the right decision. The first girl I ever you have to read the situation and then make the right decision and the first girl i ever kissed i i remember like the situation really well we were sitting on the couch watching uh lord of the rings i think and uh and she was not interested at all and it was really pissing me off because i was honestly really wanted to pay attention to the fellowship they were on the way

and and uh we kept locking eyes and it was i was like i'm pretty sure she wants me to kiss her but i'm not a thousand percent sure and i didn't have enough confidence to like kiss her the first night i think and then i came over the next night to like finish up the film the two towers came out but but no like it was just that it was the body language and the way she kept like staring into my eyes i was like she wants the kiss she wants this kiss she definitely wants this kiss and and like you just do it you don't and you know what she was probably thinking there she was probably like what am i ugly why is he not kissing me why it does can he not see the signals i'm given

i had a high school experience like this. I've told the story before, so quickly. I used to jump off this 40-foot bridge all the time, to the point where I got to be an expert at jumping off this bridge. And then one day after school, That's going on the CV? Was there water or concrete? Water. There's water.

So it was in a bay, and depending on which way the tide was going, it was either impossibly fast toward the dock, where you to be or away from the dock where you're really fucked. So we would, like, read the tides and stuff and tell people when it was a good time to jump off and when it wasn't. And anyway, so after high school, for whatever reason, it got popular one day. One day, like, I don't want to exaggerate, like, 22 kids were all, like, jumping off, like, they wanted to jump off the bridge, so I'm, like, doing laps, you know, I jump, like, we'd hold, like, we'd either hold hands if it was a girl or just sort of jump in sync as a guy,

go to the dock, and we'd take the next guy, and there was this one girl, Kelly, she was very pretty, and frankly, out of my league i think in high school we jump and at least at that moment i think she loves me right she's holding my arm like with two hands around my bicep and tricep put her head on my shoulder said that was amazing and that this experience was all because of you i should have done something something. That was my moment to strike, and I didn't. You know what you should have done is let her out a little bit and let her start drowning, and then you save her. She was on this one team.

No, no. You let her drown, and then you do some CPR on her, and then you get the kiss no matter what. Come on. That's nice. Thanks for that. Next level thinking. And you get some groping in like like now i'm starting to realize why you're a lifeguard you got to do the groping and the kissing whether they liked it or not and then they thank you for

it yeah they're like oh you saved my life you saved my life yes wait he's just a hard on i'm sorry I'm very passionate. I'm saying flies. That's in case we need the Heimlich maneuver. But yeah, yeah. I don't know what the move I should have made was. I could have asked you out on the spot. I don't know if I... Going for a kiss seems a little strong.

No, no. You should have just said, hey, did you maybe want to hang out afterwards? Yeah. There you go. That would be the move. That would be the move. Let's go back in time. You want to hang out afterwards yeah there you go that would be the move that would be yeah let's go back try each other off

try each other off I got other people to save but you know most of the rest of them are pretty good swimmers getting audio through someone's I think it's not me oh is it a fucking I'm sorry it was an auto play yeah I was sometimes I play and then I fucking... I'm sorry. It was an autoplay. Yeah.

I was bamboozled. Sometimes I play and then I mouth like I'm sorry to the audience so I don't interrupt the conversation. And I wonder if you guys think I'm talking to you. But everyone watching knows. Sorry. But anyway. Yeah. Making that move is tricky.

I don't think, though, that's the al franken situation i think al franken had no reason to believe that this was his moment to strike uh yeah she slept but also do we have a picture yeah yeah yeah i want to see i need like i i'm imagining something like really strange right now it is i promise you you won't be um taylor was saying they're all the same level of badness no no i was saying they're not oh but they're painted as all right yeah yeah like because they say more yeah 14 year old girl taking her hand putting it on his dick over his underwear but still like that's that's child molester shit right this is a child molester. Al Franken, this is a grown woman that he was hitting on and poorly received comedy.

Molesting. Yeah. Well, yeah, it's molesting. His excuse sort of resonated with me. He's like, I was a comedian. I was a comedian at the time. And I made a lot of jokes that I thought were funny, but looking back are just offensive.

And the grabbing the boobs thing was literally over a bulletproof vest like and not like a thin one like it's like a flak jacket or something people saw the picture woman that he forced himself making out with just before like given the context of that yeah it's it's like he knows that she's not cool with this kind of stuff and that he's ruined her trip and he's like he knows that and he does it anyway and i don't like the excuse if i'm a comedian like of course i pretend to to grab i semi pretend to grab her tits you know and look into the camera like look at me getting away with something i'm gonna be a fucking senator like yeah i have to in my head it's not remember

that i had the order of events wrong because if the order of events flipped the other way, if that was his opening move, then he doesn't know all that. Then he's just being a dumbass comedian. Maybe in a creep. Yeah, well, creep. That's fair, creep. But given that he's already been rejected and now he's doing it when she's unconscious, it makes it way creepier.

But when you equate that to Weinstein, for example, and when you see an article that's like, oh, Franken and Weinstein and Moore and Stallone or whoever it is, and CK, my point was that they do group them all together and pretend that they're all the same thing when they don't differentiate the way they should. Why was Weinstein's particularly egregious? Because it's been going on for decades and decades because he raped some women he forced him to penetrate women and he like like he'd like hold them down with his body weight and like go down on them or he would uh you know he's abusing his power he would have these things set up where like he'd have a third party lie and be like yeah yeah come to the room i'll be there too it's all fine and then the women would show up and that third party lie and be like yeah yeah come to the room i'll be there too it's all fine and then

the women would show up and that third party has been is not there and then he's there in his bath robe like it's a whole premeditated setup and it seems like he's like a spider weeding the same web over and over again you see it repeated just like cosby yeah because in my head like i know the one that he got recorded on, it was a lot like the Louis C.K. thing. Like he was almost begging her to just be in the room while he jerked off. Like to me, they were pretty parallel. Oh, I mean, there was a huge gamut of things

that ran the Weinstein thing. Like of all of the accusations that have come out, the only one that when I've read more, I've kind of been like, I don't know about this one. This doesn't seem as big a deal as people are making it is the Louis C.K. one. Like after you read that I didn't do this in front of anyone who I didn't ask. It's like, well, then are we just mad at you for being a creep now?

Like having a creepy fetish? Because if you did ask all these ladies, then I don't see a problem with it. The Al Franken one read like that to me. It was like, first of all, there's a picture of him groping her boobs there's a picture of her groping the boobs and then well she's wearing a bulletproof vest it's not quite kind of groping that i pictured uh before i looked into it and then the other one was apparently he kissed her during the rehearsal and franken is like i don't remember it like she did you know like like she's not telling the truth there and here's a tough thing right now they're coming say that i thought he admitted to all of it no and said i apologize he said that he doesn't let me i can

get the exact i think i have it on my screen um i mean if if you were asleep woody in jeans and some guy took a picture of himself giving a creepy ass smile into the camera with his hand lightly grabbing your junk enough to not wake you up and then you saw that picture later would you be like haha what a gaff like Jackie wouldn't Jackie would not be happy about that that gentleman groping in that Johnson I just I had gone no you go for it so I I once was at this party was pretty recent this recent. This was Gamescom 2017. I'd say three months ago.

And I'm just drinking, partying with a bunch of people, having a lot of fun. And this one guy comes over, right? Who I haven't seen in two years. And we start talking and stuff. And he just full-on grabs my dick and I'm obviously you know like not having it I mean I have a girlfriend with me so I just straight up told this guy listen you know it's totally fine if if you do this with your boyfriend or your partner or shit but I'm not your partner so either we're gonna have a conversation right now

or you're gonna get the fuck out of here, right? By the time this sentence is over, your hand better be off of this. But then he kept continuing, and he was like, oh, this, oh, that, and it touched my butt and shit, and then I just told him straight up, listen,

do it again, and, you know, we're going at it. We're throwing down. But that stopped him. But that's like me. I'm like six foot one, right? But I can definitely imagine if a guy does that to a girl, it's definitely a lot worse, especially if that person's in power. So Taylor, I looked it up.

He says, well, I don't remember the rehearsal for the skit as she does. I understand why we need to listen to and believe women's experiences, which was tying into what I was thinking. Normally, I want some kind of proof, right? It's funny he said, I don't remember it the way she did instead of that didn't happen. Well, if you read the full context, the whole thing is like supporting her. Like he's being as gentle as he possibly can with her. Like coming from the world of comedy,

I've written a lot of jokes that we thought were funner, but later were offensive. The intentions behind my actions aren't the point. It's the impact these jokes have on others that matter. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to come to terms with that. I don't remember the rehearsal like she does, but I understand why we need to believe their experiences. The truth is what we might think of as light,

while people might think of me in the light, is far less important than what people think of the women who continue to come forward and tell these stories. It goes on, but the whole thing just nonstop supports women. Well, I mean, but they all do that. Kyle, did you want to talk about something else? I'm caught. No, I was just having a finger fight.

A finger fight? Yeah, yeah. I just imagine each one is like some sort of scorpion thing and they're fighting each other. I wanted to hear about Stallone, though. Oh, Stallone. Yes. So Stallone is so much worse than any of the other ones that have come out. Apparently he, I read very briefly this afternoon when it came out,

apparently he and his bodyguard, like 30 years ago when he was 40 uh they basically like forced themselves or he was having sex with with a young girl not underage i don't believe and then his bodyguard came in and he made her blow his bodyguard and then made her be okay kind of with fucking both of them at the same time and then she just left and nothing ever came out of that. How did he make her do all this? I was just going to say, here's the thing.

At the time, was she okay with it? And then did she afterwards regret it? Like, those are... Yeah, there's a lot of Jedi mind control in this story Sorry, I apologize a sick apparently a 16 year old girl Oh that changes a lot the Daily Mail accuses a police report obtained by the Daily Mail accuses Sylvester Stallone of forcing a 16 year old girl into a sex act with him and his bodyguard at a Las Vegas hotel in 1986

Stallone has denied the Allegations I had to has denied the allegations. I had to wait for the page to open. So, first of all, they're allegations, right? And then second of all, you know, what was his age back then? 40 or something? That's 30 years ago.

Right? But then, how did they get a 16-year-old in there, first of all? What does a 16-year-old do there, first of all? I don't know. Yeah. What does a 16-year-old do? It's an allegation he denies. Trump's been accused, and he was sued, and they dropped the suit four days before the election, of raping a 13-year-old girl.

Because no one ever came forward because it was made up. That's not how I saw it. No. It was Gloria Allred who was doing it, right? I was just reading it out today, and that's not what it said. That's the deal? That wasn't true. The 13-year-old thing didn't happen.

They said, this person's going to come forward, and then they dropped it, and no one ever came forward because that one was a hit job. My point on that was we have to kind of be careful about these allegations. If the other guy says it's not true, then look, we don't know if it's true or not. It's only, now, if the other guy says, hey, that wasn't my customary behavior, and I typically ask their mom if I could date these children, then that's different. Yeah, this Roy Moore guy, I can't help but feel that he's definitely, definitely guilty.

Definitely, definitely. But I'm even getting caught up in it, too. Like, what Queb was saying about, like, we've got to remember it's just an allegation. And what you were saying, Woody, we've got to remember it's just an allegation. Like, this culture of it now, now every time I even see a name getting dropped, like, I find myself almost skipping the allegation phase sometimes. I'm like, oh, oh, fucking Stallone. Another one.

Yeah, because it's such an avalanche. Fucking Stallone. Sex offender. Yeah. Because it's such an avalanche. On top of that, it feels like the boundaries between real sexual assault and just a date gone wrong is like it's getting closer and closer. Closer. Now I'm thinking back when I was a little kid going on my first date and I would try to make a move on a girl and I would go in for it and she would say no right I'm like is am I doing it too now right um and then it feels like you I have

verbally given my wife standing orders that it's okay to fuck me even if I'm unconscious just hop on same here so I've removed all ambiguity. But she is female, and so she doesn't have to worry about anything. I heard another thing about Stallone, like a thing that he was into. I think I heard it on Opie and Anthony. They said that he liked to get under a glass table, like a glass coffee table, and then have the woman shit on top of the glass table and watch her poop on top of it. Yeah, but I mean, that's his thing, right?

Like, whatever. The old glass bottom boat. That's the perfect name for it. The glass bottom loaf. That sounds awful. That sounds awful. Like, somehow, I guess it's not as bad as her shitting on his face

but it's somehow a little weirder right that he in that he includes the like like oh we go was that room got a glass table in it He's always buying new coffee tables because he's ruining them. There's just shit-stained glass in the dumpster. You can reuse the coffee tables. Trust me. Woody knows. Jesus.

You spray it with Pam first. It helps because I can tell if they're traps. The kind of women I'm attracted to, you never know. I'm very passionate about gastrointestinal health how often do you poop every day i was about to say like like why are why aren't these men just getting prostitutes that's where i always go is like why aren't they just getting prostitutes but then i just remembered charlie sheen getting called out when he was involved with heidi fleiss and her whole prostitution thing he had paid $50,000 over the course of two years for like many prostitutes that he was fucking and like all that comes out you

know like the records would that be praised like it almost be like what all Charlie Sheen sex is consensual and paid for if the checks didn't bounce I'm okay with this those girls they didn't choose to be prostitutes. He's taking advantage of people who were forced into a situation. I don't agree with that, obviously. I think that if you want to be a prostitute, you should be free to be a prostitute. No one chose to be a McDonald's employee either. That was not their hope and dream, but I take advantage of them every Big Mac. I don't actually go there.

And they make more money than a McDonald's employee. Way more. Those prostitutes. They should make prostitution legal. Kyle is breaking up. Taylor and I have been doing a bit of research lately into the costs of prostitution in Vegas.

Or maybe I've been doing more than he has. It's rather affordable. I read this whole eight-page article on the ins and outs of how to make the thing happen, and there's different kinds of prostitutes, right? There are girls who are out on their own. There's an operator-type fee where just to get the girl to show up, if you're calling an escort service, and just to be clear, an escort service, within the city limits of Vegas, prostitution is illegal. But escort services are legal everywhere. Like there's one in all of our cities and states. And basically you pay for a date with

the woman and you tip her for that and the sex is consensual. But sex is rather implied in all these situations. You just have to be careful how you, and this article like lays it out, like keywords that you don't want to say, keywords that you do want to say. What are some good keywords, Kyle? This is interesting. I don't have it off the top of my head. It's just one or two. Do you have a glass table in the hotel room? Do you want a glass bottom boat?

But basically, you end up paying a a 200 fee just instantly just for her to show up and like they were talking about the percentage of that that goes back to the operator who hooked the whole thing up basically a pimp and uh and it was really interesting to read through the thing it's not that expensive but how many and more is it you said there was a tip involved right yeah the tip is what you're paying for the sex and like for a blow job it depends on the girl it so depends on the girl because like you can literally get a porn star that whose name everyone here would know and it's going to cost you like a thousand dollars an hour like that or you can get like some random chick who's maybe like a six and a half out of ten for like two hundred dollars

an hour or something like that right you know and it also depends on like what sex acts you want to get there's half and there's something they can refer to as half and half which is like she goes down on you for a while and then you fuck her you know that's the most popular what about shitting on a glass table? Now that is extra. It's called the glass half full. Gonna have to pass, guys. And you know, there's all those abbreviations

on the girls' profiles where they, you know, you find out if they're into roleplay or fetish or S&M or bondage or like all the different things that they are into. There were some remarkably attractive prostitutes. Is Backpages.net still the place to go to?

It was Backpage.com, and they really cracked down on that. I want to say about two years ago, they took the adult services thing right out. So now you have to go to the dating part where it's women for men. But of course, it's inundated with police um i remember one time we were in kentucky and we had i've told most of the story before but it's been years and we were staying in a motel you know where it's ground floor and it's just rooms connected and the neighbors down the way were being really fucking loud and just obnoxious and like ruining our our good time and on a lark my friend ordered them a prostitute he he calls one of these back page girls and is like yeah yeah i want this and that and i'll pay and i'm in room 125 just come on down a prostitute didn't show up the police showed up so speaking

of that i actually had that happen to me where a fan obviously found my address and ordered one, which then came to my house and I was freaking out. So the prank call is on YouTube and you can find it. And obviously my reaction, because I was daily vlogging that day, is also on YouTube. Legit happened. No joke. Was it just the lady who showed up? I'm pretty sure there was a car around the corner. Oh, did you see it? Yes, but it was pretty dark.

The pimp was around the corner. Yeah, the driver or whatever. Daddy! So, yep, that happened. Did you bang her? Yeah, 1 to 10. What did she look like? I was saying I don't enjoy things like drug and free sex, and so we fuck and do drug. What did she look like?

I didn't even open the door. I put it on the little thing, but it was dark, rainy, and I just said, I'm so sorry, but this wasn't me. I'm going to have to send you away. That sucks. I mean, but it's also pretty funny because you didn't get beat up. I got, like, a viral video out of it, so I'm all good. Yeah, so that's fine.

But I was ready. Ice Poseidon has a video, like, live on, I want to say it was Twitch, but I'm not, you can't tell it's just a streaming chat of you know 10 000 people in the in this comments are going so fast you can't read them he orders a prostitute to his hotel room camera sitting in the corner and an enormous black woman shows up about 225 pounds like five foot six and he has her do all these weird things to him that are like not really sexual he's like i want a massage i want you to rub lotion in but i'm gonna leave my shirt on and so

she's just rubbing the lotion into his shirt on his back and then like he she duct tapes him up like his mouth and maybe his hands too and start spanking him while like cursing at him through a loudspeaker like stuff like that and all the while there's thousands of people watching this go down hands to and start spanking him while cursing at him through a loud speaker. Stuff like that. And all the while there's thousands of people watching this go down. It's a hilarious clip. And he's got her face blurred out and everything, but she's a big lady. I want to get him on Painkiller already.

I wonder if he'd be interested. I don't know. I've been watching a lot of his shit lately because I wanted to figure out what the hate is about. I've talked to Chiz about this a lot privately. It's just a fan base. It's just that he has sort of a... Yeah, it's that he's kind of...

I saw him do a thing the other day where he's got three fans out on the sidewalk in LA and they're competing for $1,000 and doing these competitions. And the first competition, there's a bucket, sort of a rectangular bucket about yay deep, 16 inches deep. He fills it up with water, green food coloring, a bag of something called liquid shit or something. It's like the stuff that smells putrid. Oh, I smelled that. It's awful. Then he throws a gigantic blue crab in there, like as big as my face this crab is, with the pincers and everything, and he dumps maybe 20 golf balls in there too.

And he's like, all right, you've got a minute to go bobbing for golf balls. Whoever gets the most wins this competition. And these guys are in their underwear. And I noticed right away these guys are covered in welts from a paintball gun because they must have done some kind of competition earlier where they just... The previous challenge didn't make the cut. They just shot the shit out of... Like, on the guy's back?

I wasn't recording. They're the worst welts I've ever seen, and I've seen awful welts on this guy's back. So they're bobbing for these things, and their faces are soaked green, and it's thick. Like, it's sort of viscous. It's not just, like, water. And the first guy gets, like, 14 golf balls, and the next guy's's not just like water and and the first guy gets like 14 golf balls and the next guy's like 16 and then the next guy like he can't even fucking do it he

gets like one then the next competition he's got carolina reaper peppers and they've gathered a crowd of people now because you can see like what where the street art is and everything there's maybe 15 20 people like cheering them. These guys are in their underwear like nothing else, and they're wearing weird underwear. It's like an American flag bikini and shit like that. One guy's traveled up from San Francisco to L.A. to do this called Hobo or Bobo or something. He didn't have any front teeth, so Hobo might have worked.

Hobo might, yeah. The competition is they all eat a Carolina Reaper pepper, and the first one to drink the milk loses. But every like three or four minutes they eat another one. And so they each eat like four peppers and it's the timer still going there at like 12 minutes. So he pepper sprays them all. He pepper sprays all of them right there on the sidewalk. He's like, all right, everybody, look out. We don't want you don't want to get any of this pepper spray. Gives them all pepper sprays. Like, alright.

Some more time goes by. They're at like 15, 16 minutes. Alright. Now you eat a pepper and you get pepper sprayed. Like, at the same time. And it ends up, like, it goes for so long. Three dead gentlemen. They've eaten so many. The last two guys eat so many peppers and get pepper sprayed like three times

each. He's like, alright, alright, alright. Fuck. Each of you get $1,000. Alright dollars all right and you know the chat goes wild they love this shit it's an entertaining fucking show meanwhile my let's play videos on child-friendly games get censored by youtube well you should know not be so naughty queb i, right? I once was at his house at Ice Poseidon. I got some great stories, but I cannot tell them on stream. I look forward to after. I can tell them after. But the only thing

I can say is that I walked into his toilet and it was disgusting. There was a... The funny thing was, okay, really quickly, paint the picture. I'm with my girlfriend, and a lot of our friends were talking for girls. And we all go to Ice Poseidon's place.

And I'm, like, looking around, you know, cool place. And then I walk to the toilet, and I'm like, this guy has no game. He invites five girls over, and he doesn't even clean his toilet those are just shit in there not like floating but just yeah i have i have i took one picture on my phone and i was like it was worthy of a picture yeah but it was like the poop stains on the toilet like oh no oh no yeah let me see if i can find a picture. That's all I can say on stream, of course. That's funny. I think he'd be fun to have on.

I wonder, like, I too am curious about it. I try to find his stream. I've literally never found it. I only see the highlights. Well, he's banned from Twitch. So where is he now? I want to say ReShows. YouTube Gaming.

I think he does YouTube. Yeah yeah and there's another stream and i've seen him on chatterbait of course that porn star but but the best thing to do like what i usually do is just find the youtube videos of the things he's done because you just watch his live stream i've done that before you know he goes out to dinner with his girlfriend they sit there and chat it's entertaining i guess but it's just a vlog and he puts a gopro on his head he puts i've seen him walk with it on yeah yeah and it just finds people you know all right i was just going to quickly say i kind of admire that right there was a period i did vlogs for like i did 140 vlogs or something last year and as a viewer i really like the interactions with other people i really like you know seeing heck even if they just walk by and look at the vlogger like they're weirdos, I think that's interesting, right? Yeah.

I watch Tucker Gottilaud, he has paramotor videos. But I really, really like it when he lands and people ask him questions or they're amazed. It adds a lot, the human interaction, as opposed to just a guy talking to you. As a vlogger, though, I hate doing that. I feel weird. I feel awkward. And as a viewer, it's like, dude, just get over that. This is what you do.

I want to see you do it. But sometimes I'm good and sometimes I'm bad. Gwen, did you get that? I found the picture. I found the picture. Sorry. Sorry. All right, go ahead, Jenna.

Okay, I can show it right over here, but damn it, I need to send it. How do you send it on Skype? Just drag it to the Skype. Yeah, drag it. It's horrible. It's the new Skype app. Just drag it to where you would type.

One thing that I found that doing the FPS Russia character always made me feel much less awkward. Wait, you're FPS Russia character always made me feel much less awkward about doing that. Wait, you're FPS Russia? Indeed. I remember we took that keg that we had shot up with machine guns back to the liquor store and pretended

like it was a faulty keg and it just exploded. We tried to tap it and it exploded. Look at this. Holes everywhere. And these ditzy girls at the liquor store were like, really? I don't know about that. And, like, you know, I've got a fucking cameraman with me, you know, walking around with a stabilizer and a full, like, boom mic and everything.

And, like, something about having the legitimate cameraman and not, like, a goofy GoPro on my head and also being in character like feel no shame or awkwardness whatsoever whereas if i just went in there i was like yeah you know with if it was the if it was what i stood i could definitely see feeling awkward all right let's look at this gross toilet i'm almost head oh yeah that's pretty gross and it's it's it's on a part of the toilet where you have to have explosive diarrhea to even get it there. Like there's no, like that's not where the shit stains would be with a normal bowel movement. They're on the front rim rather than- Does Ice Poseidon eat any fiber?

No! Purely fiber. Probably lactose intolerant. He like, he just goes in there and he paints that bowl every single time. Oh god. That's not as bad as I was imagining because I was picturing like a gas station toilet. that bowl every single time. Oh, God. That's not as bad as I was imagining, because I was picturing like a gas station toilet. Dude, that's pretty bad if you have girls over. You always need to make sure your bathroom is spotless, and the trash

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That's casper.com slash pka, promo code pka at checkout for $50 toward any mattress purchase. I love my Casper mattress. I really overslept today. I slept long into the day an embarrassing amount of sleep

I'd rather not say an embarrassing amount of sleep did you wake up for PKA? I did wake up for PKA in my defense my sleep schedule is just fucked I went to sleep at 9 a.m are you gaming okay

no no it's i'm just i'm work what what it is is like i'm getting up early uh like the it's this weird rotating flippy schedule where like yesterday i had to get up early to do stuff but i had only gotten like three hours of sleep the night before because of my fucked up sleep schedule and so i tried to stay awake long enough that i could fix the sleep schedule and i thought 10 p.m would be good so 10 p.m comes around this and i go to bed and i wake up at 3 a.m i was gonna say three at like five hours seems like plenty and i'm like shit i'm up and in my head i'm like well either i'll fall i'll get sleepy again in a couple hours or maybe i can just wake up at three like i'm some sort of coal miner or something like that and just just go through it

but no six hours later at 9 a.m i'm getting really drowsy and so i have a cup of coffee and that just doesn't help and then i end up going to sleep at like 8 or 9 a.m., 10 a.m., something like that. I'm not really positive, and I slept today until 5, something like that. Just an embarrassing sleep schedule. I'm hoping to repair it tonight, but with PKA, there's just no way. There's just no way. Yeah. It's impossible to have a normal sleep schedule when you do pka you know what i

mean you know i i am back when wings was on the show he used to sleep through pka and his excuse was pka had me up till midnight a week ago and and it's like I didn't tolerate that excuse well because like you're 25 years old. Because we were all. And we used to do this show on Friday night. Because we were all doing it. Yeah. And it's like how at 25 can staying up till midnight on a Friday night like ruin your sleep schedule for a week?

And wouldn't it adjust your sleep schedule in such a way that you make pka not sleep right if anything that oh go ahead club i was just gonna say like it shows the you know how how dedicated some dedicated somebody is um you know me and my friends we record uh three four times a week at 9 a.m uh at the earliest. So even if I go partying the night before, like the night before, I will be there at 9 a.m. Elsa, I'll get roasted by these guys, which, you know, isn't good. And on top of that, I won't have any videos because they will just record without me, which pretty much means I won't be getting paid.

I need to catch up with work and stuff like that. And then obviously sometimes I you know somebody sleeps in for a bit too long which is for you know you can forget about it because it Because you have like a hundred and fifty recordings in a month or right I Have never I have never led up for sleep schedule or lack of sleep like put me in a situation where like my friends or comrades or whatever are going to be able to mock me relentlessly or make fun of me for not showing up like i remember when uh i was here 10 minutes before the show like ready to go my ad reads all assembled and everything i was here you know i went i went and like bought all these only 10 minutes before i was here an hour before. So I was ready to go.

You gotta get ready, okay? I remember when I was gonna do that stream with Filthy, like two years ago or something like that. I was gonna get to play Filthy Robot at Civ in front of his stream. I was really excited about that. I couldn't go to sleep the night before because I'm thinking of strategies and stuff. And I'm watching his tutorials to try to think you know really get down how he plays and stuff because i really wanted to beat him and like i only got maybe three hours of sleep

and he starts streaming at like 9 a.m it's like oh well i'm up i gotta get up at 8 a.m get my shower get my coffee in me like pop an adderall or something i gotta be in go mode because we ended up playing 12 hours or something like that it was like a 12 fucking hour game straight because it was an endurance fucking race so like you know i i never bought that excuse that when and when he'd sleep through shows and stuff and like there was that one show where we were like yeah um wings is dead he uh he was he was staining his desk in his garage he succumbed to the fumes and they they found him at 3 p.m. today, Eastern Time. And I don't know what to say.

He's gone. He's gone. And the viewers were buying it, the ones who don't skip ahead. And it was that one guy who made that video. That video was amazing. I'm not familiar with this. He basically made a video of himself mourning Wing's death. In a sarcastic way or a real way?

Yes. Sarcastic. Yes, but he stays in character pretty well. It's like three minutes. Do you want to find it? I'm looking. All right. Where is Chiz when you need him?

Yeah, Chiz the fuck, man. Is that right? I'm just kidding. He probably overslept. He's probably still napping. He sent us all of our relevant information and let us know he wasn't going to be here tonight. I'm sure he's up to something out there.

We were talking about doing the prostitute thing out in Vegas and doing that trip, and Chiz was like, you guys get all the hoes you want. I'm going to get a male prostitute and make him play magic the gathering with me yeah oh my god this is a better i i'm just i'm i kind of want to do this now like like play like teams and it's like the three of us versus like uh uh like three

chippendales guys in like g strings or whatever like No, what we do, Kyle, is we have a two-headed giant round-robin tournament with me, you, and Chiz. And we all have to pick what we think. We'll look through the male prostitutes and find... I don't know about you. I'm going to be looking for who I think is the nerdiest looking,

the most likely to have played Magic. And then we have to play... The one who's got the Clark Kent cosplay with the glasses. Yeah, like if he has suspenders on or something. Fucking that's my dude i found it head over here it's three minutes long play do we want to watch let's watch it it's kind of silly all right so uh yeah started zero oh nice it starts with me talking about him being dead

are you guys ready yeah ready set play um I don't know how to do this. Hey there, guys. It's Pain Clear Already, episode 134. And we've got some bad news. It's Saturday morning. And we usually don't record these in the morning. But we just got the news, and so we thought we'd record this now. Wings of Redemption passed away sometime in the night last night.

And I found out about Wings. I didn't know what to do. I was lost. I was lost. A bit wilded. It's just one of those guys where looking into the distance, sad.

He's so funny. I like his jacket. Looks like yours. A little. He's got a bigger collar. I like his regime. Mentally. The fumes got the best of him, and he lost consciousness. And they're telling us that he just didn't wake up.

He was 27 years old, and he's been with us every step of the way for the last three years. I don't know what to say. To be honest, I still haven't fully recovered. I think I might just have to force myself to get over it or at least try I miss your wings the only thing that comforts me now is

the beauty of nature I like to think that The only thing that comforts me now is the beauty of nature. I like to think that every flower is a piece of wings. I really like it, Jack. I remember one time, when you said a famous quote, it was, don't put the pussy on a pedestal. I feel like we can all learn from this. I took it so far.

I did in fact attempt suicide. I was unsuccessful. He looks around at the builder like, nope, didn't work. Not quite. But I took that as a sign. I shouldn't have lived from that. I shouldn't have lived. And I hope they can do things proud. Holy smokes! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! yeah that was a good good on that guy he did a good job with that i i like that a lot yeah i hadn't seen that in years that's funny i forgot about the wings is dead thing yeah and it all happened because he overslept the show so we pretended he died yep yeah yeah now wings is getting a lot of attention recently is he oh stop uh he's doing very well on twitch he is uh yeah so wings made a video i want to say like two weeks ago and it was about shotgun tactics and of course there's a new cod that just dropped so cod people are in their peak right now and he crushed it with the video you know he talked about ambush and it looked like he came with a bunch of like non-Cod related research that he had done.

He prepared and he made a good video. And the comments on it were overwhelmingly positive. I'm not sure. But in my head, that ties into his live streams. And he's live streaming at times that like the real kings of Cod, like Clayster or whatever, are not live streaming. So oftentimes, he's the number one guy. You go to Call of Duty and Wings is the top most viewed choice.

And that's like 1,100, 1,500 people, which is not like, you know, syndicate numbers, but it's not nothing, right? Yeah, you make a living doing that. Well, that's good for him. I'm glad to hear it. So, but he's been having a hard time lately too like if you play pubs especially in cod and people are gonna fuck with you that's like the nature of playing pubs with cod

and wings was never wired to really handle that well and he's been going wild and breaking into he's got really upset and the whole nine yards. What's he doing? You're going to sit here and pretend. Stop it. I don't want to pretend. Yeah, no, fuck you. I'm not going to sit here and act like the only guy who's seen this. I don't know.

Everyone here has, at least I know Kyle's seen all the videos. So I guess you have no opinion since you make believe didn't see this. What are we doing with this? I thought it was better for the show if you like explained to me. No! Then you put me out there by myself. And I was sort of sitting in for the audience while you explained to people what was going on. Well both of you explain it to me because I genuinely haven't seen them. Yeah, so he's been freaking, yeah, well you know he's smashing controllers and stuff. And I keep getting linked videos of him smashing controllers over you know gameplay stuff.

He's done that forever though. Yeah, but it's, you know he's smashing controllers like like four or five of maybe the same controller but he smashes it multiple times and then today somebody linked me a clip of him i think the title of it is wings has an emotional breakdown or something like that it's it's it's hard to watch is it a real emotional breakdown or is it like a twitch i think you need to kind of break down Now there's a question that's hard to answer. Kyle, you think he's hamming it up? Because I thought it was real.

It looks real to me. Yeah. I think I can find it on the subreddit. It won't take too long. Some guy linked four clips, but the fourth one is the whopper of it all. I'm hunting for you. I found it already.

This was all during a COD World War II stream. Yeah, so World War II is the new COD. I think probably most people know that. And if you go to that link, you'll see the four clips. Do we want to watch all four? They're all like 30 seconds. Only the best ones. Well, they're all like 30 seconds, and the best one is the fourth. Well most extreme let's watch all of them okay there we go um i'm ready to start

charming because i know secretly anytime everybody wants to watch them but everybody's scared to say it so i don't i'll be i'll be the person you'll be the guy you need to scroll right i'm just guessing here i don't see it right away. Do I need to scroll down to Nerdgasms? Yeah, I thought it was a direct link I gave you. Maybe I made a mistake. It links to the thread for me. Oh, my mistake.

You just don't know how to use Reddit, do you? You're not a real Redditor. Kyle knows so many just deviant corners of Reddit. Yeah, right? All right, are we queued up on the cowbell one? The cowbell one, yes.

Ready, set, play. Look here! Look, listen! Appearing offline does not fucking stop it. So stop giving fucking advice you know nothing about. I haven't seen this. You haven't? Not this one in particular. I thought I'd seen them all.

That's it, actually. Wow, that was anger. Yeah. Dude, let's keep going. Here's the second one. Yogurt giggle. Yeah. Dude, let's keep going. Here's the second one. Yogurt giggle. Okay. All right. Three, two, one, play.

Can you please stop, dude? Honestly, can you stop, Kudzo? So the guy's standing in front of Wings. Why are you doing this to me? Real talk, why? And Wings' playstyle is susceptible to being messed with like that, right? Like you can't do that to Sandy Ravage because he just runs around and shoots everyone. Oh boy.

Oh boy. Well Jesus. Controller took a bath. Oh man, he's over there on the wall. I honestly hadn't seen this one. He's over against the wall. He's very upset. Very upset. I used to get upset when people DDoSed me, which I guess I knew it led to more... He's very's very upset yeah i don't know if he's literally crying i guess i knew it just lead led to me being an even more fun ddos target but i wasn't able to fully resist it number three how i can get all right yep ready set play how i can get in contact with these guys I would really like to know because I'm seriously considering

suing them. Because at this point, they're going to follow me around when I stream and they're affecting my business at this point. Honestly, they're affecting my ability to make money. Appear offline doesn't work.

I'm fucking offline. How I can get in contact with these... Maybe Judge Judy would have something to say about this. My wife asked me, like, does he have a case? And he does, but what he doesn't have is damages. Like, I think that you can sue for damages. Like, if he was a pizza store, and i was standing in front of his doorway the whole time costing him business then you know you would have a legitimate civil suit against me like i think that's the thing you in case you could win but i don't know

what damages he can prove yeah it's much harder to quantify his damages well the the the defending party would just say, clearly you're pulling great views and great attention to your brand by doing so. So there is no damages. This is more of a way of promoting your stream. And that's how I see it, right? If I look at this, I'm like, this guy, he's either really this crazy or he's playing

it like a champ and doing this for attention which is great right because that's his that's his job he needs to get views yeah you could never you could never make this actually happen if he were syndicate if he were someone who was making tens of thousands of dollars per stream or something like that and you could show a pattern of that income coming in and then suddenly there was a DDoSer who was cutting you offline and preventing you from doing your stream and say, look, I've attempted these times, you could show lost income and you could even pay in at that rate of income, you could pay a lawyer the couple hundred dollars an hour that it costs and then maybe file a suit if you could track the person

down and and and and i don't know if it'd be it gets to be a state matter so you have to like ddosing is is is like a criminal it's a crime yeah right so yeah i was gonna i remember i forget the details of what it was but young woody asked my father like could i sue over this he's like yeah you could and you could even win but the thing is it's going to cost you about five to ten thousand dollars to hire an attorney to pursue this case best case scenario you're breaking even on this thing you know like so you yeah while you could sue you it's a waste of your time well but then there is a chance that this kiddo who's doing this first of all is a minor second of all isn't even living in the u.s right so you're gonna have to sue overseas which means you most likely will have to attend court overseas right because you're gonna have

to testify yada yada yada i get a passport then are you guys ready for the visa you need to fly there business class you know so while he's in the right he's he doesn't have a good case no uh yeah a fourth video i can now i'm ready this one i'm gonna try and watch it in silence because you want to hear wings he's the star of this video okay all right so i'm queued up at zero three two one play all right guys um i give up play. I can't take this shit no more, man! All I wanted to do was, like, I was fucking lonely. I wanted to just fucking stream and... and have a good time. Maybe have a good game.

I hate so sorry. That's so heavy. Yeah, it's really... No pun intended. No pun intended. I really didn't mean that. Okay, okay. Yeah, it's really out of the park every week that was a grand slam the crowd goes wild they're throwing hats on the field but like my i've watched that a bunch of times now i've watched all these a couple of times my emotions are all over the map you know like i i dude i'm human right like i feel

for him this is a man in pain i don't think that's fake i i don't know where you guys are landing on it i think that it didn't seem fake to me kyle i didn't see any tears i didn't think but it's it i don't think that if he were faking a cry it would sound like that. Webb? So, as a fake-ness connoisseur here... Where's Filthy when we need him? An expert. What I think what's going on over here is that

he's clearly in a tough situation, right? Looking at the first three clips, you can see he's angry. He's there. He has an issue. Right? And then at the end, clips you can see he's angry. You know, he's there, he has an issue, right? And then at the end, he expresses what has actually been bothering him this entire stream. Not the fact that somebody is like jumping in front of him or whatever, but the fact that he is, you know, not making enough money to be able to afford his real surgery, right?

And I think it's not as it's not and i think it's real it's not the surface level of someone jumping in front of him right he's not upset that someone disturbed his game i think he really was lonely and i think he was hoping that he would go online and have an experience that brought him some happiness and instead they fucked with him all night long or at least part of the night. Does he want that boogie surgery? I'm sorry. That's my expectation.

Yeah, he didn't define the surgery, but he's been talking about different ways of getting help with his weight for a long time. So sometimes when you're expecting this great thing to happen, like, you know what? I'm lonely. I'm going to go.

I'm going to hang out. This is my support system. And then your support system stabs you in the back. Like that contrast is worse than going into it thinking, hey, when you live stream pubs, this is what happens. You know, like I used to have that. People would do that to me all the time. And one of the ways I dealt with it

is I just play against subs entirely. Like what Wings is aspiring to do is play against bad players all night, get a really high KD, and just be a star. You can't have that. That's not a thing that's not on the menu. I don't understand why. I feel like if he puts more effort

into it, like I watch PUBG streams, and when Grimms plays to prevent people from getting into his lobbies, he doesn't stream the joining in portion of it so that they can't hop into his game. All he's got to do is

press a button and not show his gamertag and the gamertags he's playing against until he's in-game with a full lobby. And then when the game ends, find a new fucking lobby. It's clickety-click. It's four extra button presses per game. I don't think that's how you do it.

I think what you do is you stream on delay. Yeah, but then you can't really interact with the chat. People join the game instantly. As soon as someone drops, someone takes that spot and they fuck with you. That's how they're doing it. I have a solution though.

I streamed for quite a while while I'm kind of done now I did it for six months and I streamed at no delay like 0.2 seconds and I was playing PUBG right so first of all what I did was I made sure my team was good so I would play in a squad and I would get like you know the best people in the in the in the stream on my team So I know okay when I'm up against anybody. We're gonna fuck this guy up, right? Second of all, I told these kids, you know, if you want to stream snipe me go for it, right? but like You know, like if you want to stream snipe me go for it i'm up for a challenge right

and i've had people trying to stream snipe me and so far i've never lost a game where i'm like yeah that guy 100 sure was stream sniping me you know where he joins the the other team and tries to take me out i did that too if you're gonna about go ahead so so i'm guessing because i haven't played in a while and i don't I don't know what the new Xbox and certainly not the PlayStation interface is like, but I'm guessing the way they're joining is, like you said, they're seeing an in-game user ID or PSN or gamer tag, and then they're joining off of that person.

But it seems to me that in the settings, you can change the display above enemy characters' heads to, like, almost nothing, to just the rank, and you can change the display above enemy characters heads to like almost nothing. To just the rank and you could put your camera over the kill feed. Yeah but what about the leaderboards because he would open it up all the time. Well that's the end of the game and don't open the leaderboard until the end of the game. But that's tough. That's tough. So what I would recommend is you know get a Discord server or tweet out that you're going to be playing.

Get some people in your squad, right? Get a solid squad to play with and then just... But he has a harder time excelling with five good teammates. What I would suggest is let go of the Excel thing. That's what I would do. I mean, you can get five terrible teammates too. That doesn't help either. Here's what I would do.

I would just play privates with subs, with subs right and we play all night long and sometimes i led oftentimes i didn't you know that was that we'd play we'd play hard we play to win everyone in the game was good but if you're any good you'll still do fine and sometimes we play goofy games like dodgeball or bumper shields or whatever. And everyone had a great time. Everybody stream sniped. So you don't worry about stream sniping. And just let go of the idea that what you're trying to do is show off against terrible players all night.

He'd get pissed off when people shoot down air support. Well, let that go. That's not how you play. So even this guy jumping in front of him and stuff right i think that wasn't too bad what i would have done in this situation like that was i would have just gone on you know minded my own business just straight up ignored the guy or i would have told him oh hey you know give him a little compliment be like oh yeah you're really good come and join me here in this spot right and then now this guy is getting the attention he clearly is looking for and he might be like oh oh shit like he not acknowledges my

existence maybe i should actually you know be maybe i'm his friend now right instead of getting pissed off and then they go and keep on doing the same thing to try and piss you off yeah yeah because what people enjoy the most like like you see like what gets the most attention right is everything we just watched yeah yeah so that's why i was like if if if he was acting this way this would have been a great way to get attention but then seeing the last clip i'm like this guy's clearly he clearly has his issues how about this he keeps doing everything the same way he's doing, but in the room,

he needs something to take his frustrations out on. Yeah, perfect. What if he had a mannequin back there and every time he got up with a baseball bat and just started screaming, beating it down? If there was a couple of TV monitors back there or something and he was just smashing TVs?

That'd be so awesome. Donate $5 and I'll punch the mannequin. Donate $10, I'll grab the baseball bat. $15, I'll stab him and $20, I'll get my gun. I'll shoot it. He's firing live rounds into his room. $500 donation!

I would donate for that. Grandma across the trailer going, he's penetrating! He's penetrating! I mean if he goes for a hundred dollars like I'd shoot him five times I'd be like here you go it's a thousand good luck with that surgery just scream my name when you do it there's a lot of ideas I don't know if the shooting one is feasible, but these things would make him money, and people would love it. He might get banned from Twitch. No, no, but with the baseball bat and hitting thing, he'd definitely be okay. Right, right. I don't know about the shooting thing.

And if he puts a little disclaimer, this is not a real human being, you know. In case people get confused. You never know. I don't know if you guys have seen the Twitch IRL section, but that's very confusing. I'm like, am I in the wrong site? I go to Twitch IRL all the time because it's an aspect of Twitch that interests me. Well, the girls are always boring, super boring. Like, I don't know why people watch them at all.

I get it, right? But it's... Well, the audience retention I read online is about 15 seconds. Really? I don't think anybody got that joke. Oh, like they come that quick. Maybe I'm old

because it's several minutes for me. I go to the IRL streams and the girls aren't doing anything fun or interesting. They have nothing to say. They sit there kind of bored and angry and not happy.

And it's like, this sucks. And, but what I'm really looking for is like an ice Poseidon like thing. I wanted to live stream a paramotor flight. I tried to, I spent like hours trying to get the tech sorted out.

I can't get it going. One, I don't think it'd be popular. I think that, look, paramotoring is fun to do but i don't think it's always fun to watch and if it's not cut down it gets even worse you know but uh what about the audio that would be really loud wouldn't it it's not great uh i have a noise canceling

microphone and that helps somewhat and i mean with the with the thing going and yeah well what i do for my videos is i turn the birds i turn off the prop i turn off the motor and then i talk to them and i've got like an inch worth of like wind canceling but uh i was like if i could stream this just once it'd be kind of fun no one else has ever streamed like flying in a butt fan on twitch like you know like as a change of pace it might be interesting but i don't think you can do it like i was like oh the phone's got wi-fi and i can like connect or the phone's got lte and then the wi-fi connects to the phone and i can get like that but that like connection you can only stream your phone not your gopro it's like a flight around the house yeah you can't that's what ice

ice is clearly doing it what the hell is ice doing ice has his go GoPro. I think GoPro has a Wi-Fi thing, so he's streaming from the GoPro to his phone, and then it goes into the app and out to Twitch. Oh, look again. I spent a few hours on it. I tried hard. I wish I knew what his tech was. I know that I've got that thing

where to get my GoPro pointed correctly. I never like the little LCD screen that snaps onto the back of the GoPro because it seems like just when you pull that off, you might wiggle the camera a bit. So I always use the app. So I'm looking through my phone at where the GoPro is going and I get it just right. And then I go from there.

Oh, there's a... Queb just linked a video. But yeah, you can totally do that. I watched this already. And I bet you could get a... I don't know what your mic setup is, but a throat mic, you know, like, is meant to go over, like, propellers and stuff. I don't know if that's an option, but you could

potentially stream while you were at full power. Yeah, I saw this one. He carries a laptop with him, I think. You sure? He could probably... He has a laptop with him, I think. You sure? He could probably... He has a laptop around? Well, I know Ice doesn't. Okay.

I'll look again. Maybe this isn't the one I saw. I saw one. He's like, here's my setup. And it involves a backpack, a laptop, and a bunch of other shit. And I'm like, come on. That's a lot. I'll watch this again. Yeah, that'd be cool. I'd like that. And maybe you could do something...

What if you were dropping water balloons onto targets? What if you had your family... What if your family were out in that field and you were dropping water balloons on them? You always come up with illegal ideas. Is that illegal? Yes! You can't drop things that put people or property in danger.

On your property, though. And your people. At worst, it's mild litter. No, that is against the law. You always, like, hey, Woody, why don't you shoot shit from your butt family? It's illegal in Texas. What about bow hunting from the skies? Fuck, I missed it.

I'm never seeing that arrow again. The rule is you can't put people or property in danger which makes shooting maybe more okay i know that from an airplane you can't shoot they have to have like an exemption but from a whatever it's different regulations but the water balloon wouldn't be cool i know a guy who did it and got reported to the faa for it and had to prove that he dropped them in safe places. Well, I was saying you could do it in your yard. So your yard would be

a safe place? You literally were trying to drop it on my family. Yeah! It's a water balloon! No, you would set up like a target or something on the grass and then as you're doing flyovers, you would... Well, or on the family, whatever. Like a big, big target. Yeah. Yeah, a big, big target target but then you'd have to

like paint in the water balloons or something so you could see it show up that'd be neat though i have a paramotor topic and i think it might be interesting yeah so there's this race called the icarus and um i mentioned it before they go really far last time they went from like washington to vegas the next one and i'm trying to do it, goes across Africa. It goes from... Oh, no! Wait, D.C. to Vegas or Washington State, like Seattle to Vegas? I think it's actually Montana or something. North Dakota. One of those.

That's a big difference. D.C. to Vegas is quite a paramotor flight. Following the Rocky Mountains down is a tall ask. But this one... What part of Africa? Dude. Is this... I don't know what the not scary part of africa is right i i looked up because the north and the south and the somewhere in the east i was trying to convince my wife that nowhere pretty much everywhere i was talking to my wife about

it and i was like hey your impression of africa is really wrong and maybe kind of racist because uh it's not as dangerous as you think it is and i'm looking at like pictures of johannesburg where it starts in south africa it turns out it's literally one of the most crime-ridden cities on the planet yeah i i looked at um i looked at like winter places to survive and obviously i was thinking like south of europe and then somebody goes yeah you should check out like south africa because it's really cheap there and i'm like googling stuff and it's like oh this place comes with private security that's great and a big gate and i'm like let me just look up the crime numbers like in in this area and i was i was shocked dude so the flight goes from johannesburg south africa across batsw over Zimbabwe, and then ends in Zambia.

You know, there's like an enormous... They're going to get would be. Yeah, that's not a good idea. You know, there's like a huge problem in South Africa of the murdering of white farmers, right? I am not a farmer. I'm fine. But you're white running around. I explained to Jackie that I was an adventurer when she met me and that flying across Africa in a lawn chair was going to happen at one point or another. I'm sorry.

An adventurer in what regard? Like you rode motorcycles. You played hockey. You jumped off 10 bridges. Jumped off bridges, surfed hurricanes. The only thing keeping me out of Africa was money. Granted, all of those things

are above average in the riskiness of them. They're sort of like weekend warrior type stuff, to be fair. I would not go to Africa and fly my flying machine because you are going to get kidnapped. They're going to kill you.

They are going to hold you for ransom. You are going to end up in a jungle hideaway somewhere, and they are going to retool your air motor to pump water into their village. Just take somebody with you who carries $10,000 cash at all times. So just in case you do get kidnapped, he can solve that straight away. Where is the rest of the money? You will not bring just $10,000

to Namibia. It is a $20,000 ransom at least. This is a very unfortunate day for you, Mr. Woodward. I'm just going to lay it out one more time. You start in Johannesburg, South Africa. You cross into Botswana, Zimbabwe, and then you end up in

Victoria Falls, Zambia. I feel like, dude, that is literally an adventure that makes you emotionally richer for the rest of your life. That's something... You should do it. Yeah, that's like circumnavigate the planet on a sailboat kind of thing. If you did that, that's a feather invigate the planet on a sailboat kind of thing.

If you did that, that's a feather in your cap that not many have done. This is awesome. This is something that should happen. I'm looking up most dangerous countries in Africa. Let's see if any made the list. No, it's West Africa. It's Ethiopia. That's not on there. Burundi. Zimbabwe. Zimbabwe's on there. Okay, well, it's West Africa. It's just Ethiopia. That's not on there. Burundi.

Zimbabwe. Zimbabwe's on there. Okay, well, they are number eight on this list. But why are they on there? Let's see. Right. It might be something lame like rape, which, you know, maybe it'd be part of the adventure.

They're going to grind your white penis down to powder to cure their AIDS. No, they down to powder to cure their AIDS. No, they'll rape him to cure their AIDS. Oh, then comes Chad. That's number seven. Then comes Nigeria. Then we got... I have to go to the next page.

And then Libya, Central African Republic, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Sudan, and Somalia. Man, Somalia's flag is ridiculous. Have you seen it? Only one of the four countries is involved. So how long can you fly without refueling?

Two hours or call it like 50 miles. Just enough to rally the troops. Right. So you have to like line your route. Yeah, you pretty much go from fuel stop to fuel stop. But these are not reliable aircraft.

And you're in a very unreliable continent. Yeah, that's a thing too. I wonder if the fuel is good or water. You do the accents. You want some fuel? You gotta pay for it.

Oh, we need a little bit of your white blood if you want to have any of our fuel. He has AIDS. He has raped many, many girls. It is still persistent. No, no, he must suck it directly from the wrist. So do you want the fuel or not? We are getting the blood either way. That's going to be your fucking vlog to...

You know, the fucking dude with the rusty machete standing back there, and he's calling seven-year-old, you know, Magoomboo over here with his AK-47 to hold to your head. It's going to be a cultural enriching blast. Best Twitch IRL stream of all time when Magoombo sucks your white blood out to cure his HIV. And then I get banned. I am still very sick. But all jokes aside, wouldn't this be awesome?

No. You guys are such pussies. This is the coolest thing in the world. Let me just say this. Next year, when there's that 10-minute YouTube video of Woody being held captive and holding up the Mugumbu South Africa newspaper to show that he's still alive, proof of life,'re gonna be playing this segment of the show at first like him calling us pussies and he'll come out insane

and then he's gonna make him gaunt do you remember from from living on like jungle leaves black eye they're over there in the background with his paramotor laughing it up and there's like ak's pointed at him like but kyle as it's on CNN, do you think they'll be okay with the jokes and my accents? They'll be fine with that, right? Yeah, nobody will raise a thing about that, I'm sure.

Woody, isn't there a race across Canada? No. Hey, you know, do you have any fuel? Oh, you got plenty. Well, there's more here if you need it, buddy. Want some flapjacks? Have some maple syrup over there for you? Why, like, across Vermont or something, where there's a lot of friendly people.

Online, everyone seemed to be more worried about the wildlife. They said everything wants to kill you, whether it's this big or a lion or an elephant. Or a person. Yeah, but you got, look, this is my junior safari experience. everything wants to kill you whether it's this big or a lion or an elephant or a person yeah yeah but you got i would look this is my my junior safari experience i would imagine that any animal out there would be terrified of a paramotor like they would like if you crank that thing up and like rev it at them like a lion's gonna flee now and it has a range attack, right? We flew drones over zebra in Texas. They acted like God had descended upon them.

They just scattered and ran for the hills. So we're all afraid about, you know, Woody getting kidnapped and stuff, right? But what if you're flying over one of these forests, right? And all of a sudden this undiscovered tribe pops up out of the trees and sees this thing flying and they start going and then pew pew pew pew pew you're getting fucked and you'll be

poisoned and it's gonna be a gruesome death right for a stream in the middle of their forest you're gonna come down you're gonna be the first white man they've ever seen in their lives. Like, either you're gonna be a god, or you're gonna get eaten alive.

Yeah, you're either a god or dinner. There's not- Or maybe both! We will consume the god and take on his flying power. He flies so close to the sun it has bleached his skin. What is this that you wear? This is the coldest rock i have ever felt still on the steel and everything i wish you much luck while you fly across the most the dark continent step one is to get jackie on board she really agrees with you guys i don't know what's wrong with her yeah common sense no i think No, I think you should do it. It sounds like a great plan, right?

I will tell her Quibble Cop approves. Yeah, I mean, if you want to do it, I think you should. Because this would be the most interesting paramotor video in history. It would be a fucking great video anyway. Listen, it would be a great way to die, right? Like, you know, everybody will be going on about yeah woody we did something adventurous with his life he was an adventurer and then he was flying over the forests of zimbabwe i don't even know if there are forests there and he got attacked by this by this by this tribe and he

he fought them off and he did his last words were keep going with the TKA and and then and that's how he passed away you got eaten alive right or you go you go put on like a tree trunk trunk or whatever I don't know what they do in these tribes yeah that would be great way great story it would be a great story and it would be cool but the cool part wouldn't be the flying footage. The cool part would be when you landed and had interactions with local people. Yes, it always is in the vlogs. That would be the interesting part.

Yeah. No one gives a shit about your music overlay time lapses. Yeah, because the flying part, like, I very much doubt that anyone can tell the difference between a view from that high of Zimbabwe versus Zambia or zambia whatever country it is yep so yeah that would be cool like if you landed and they spoke english enough like ask some questions they could ask you some questions you they could give you something from their culture you could bring stuff to give them from our culture what would you bring if you like wanted like hamburgers and guns yeah well you're gonna want to bring a gun well weight matters so like would they be impressed by like double bubble you know

the like just sugar bubble gum no like what am I supposed to do show my iPhone and act like they've never seen that like white witchcraft no matter how much I chew the white man food it, it does not go down. What would you bring? I don't know. I would like some dollars. Yeah, some dollars. I was going to say health care, but it's too dark.

Some condoms. They could really use some condoms. Oh, my God, Kyle. I mean mean that could actually be like your sponsor. No joke. You hit up like Trojan or whatever. Get that stuff sorted. Oh, what if the wing said Trojan Man on it?

And then you fly over there. Is it also legal to throw condoms down? In Africa, it's legal to fire an AK-47 into an elephant. Like, I'm sure you're fine up there. them down in Africa it's legal to fire an ak-47 into an elephant like like like I'm sure you're fine up there you do what I don't know what the rules are at all for Africa yeah like well it's different in each country first of all okay guys all the time in Africa it'll be like remember when there was like the

Congo and it's like no now it's the Democratic People's Republic of the Congo and they swallowed up whatever the fuck was over there and like oh and then what's this now oh now this is what what was one country is now four countries or oh now they have liberia or whatever and it and it shrunk up like it seems like more than any other continent africa's lines are constantly shifting around with what the country's because they're still developing most only trumped by sex scandals in America. Man, I hope you do this because

I will watch every moment of footage there is of you flying and I will finish it emotionally wealthier. I will finish this trip having legitimately grown. More SDs than you ever thought you could have. It would be... I don't know how to explain like a growth opportunity like this is flying a paramotor across the bottom of africa or four countries is a really neat task like that i

understand what you mean like but like i think the biggest thing that you'll feel afterward if you do it will be like a sense of thankfulness of like, oh, my God. I am so glad that I lucked out and I was born in this country instead of Zambia or whatever. It seems like that would be the biggest takeaway. Or maybe I'm like, baby, pack up the bags. I'm the best businessman in Zimbabwe. Do you know they have fucking Google Fiber in Zimbabwe, too? I'm surprised that while you're there, you don't want to do some surfing off the coast of South Africa. Because isn't that a great spot for that?

Yes, it is. That's where all the sharks are. It is really shark ridden. We're trying to get footage, Taylor. Who's going to return the footage? If he streams it, it's fine. I mean, what kind of reception do you think he's going to get in the middle of Zimbabwe?

Fair enough. I've made videos from off the coast of Africa before. I am. I've made videos from off the coast of Africa before. Oh, cool. I didn't know that I've never been to Africa If I had to list the continents I want to visit Africa would be

Right above Antarctica Maybe below Maybe below Antarctica You know you're going to get laid in Antarctica Uh really? Oh yeah Here's the deal with Antarctica I'm much bigger than them It's not their choice Uh, really? Oh, yeah. Because penguins are easy? Here's the deal with Antarctica.

I'm much bigger than them. It's not their choice. No, no, no. Well, there's no them. There are no native people to Antarctica. There's only research teams who go down there, and they live in those, like, communities and stuff. And I was looking at, like, the amount of condoms that they take with them for every season, and it's like 300 condoms per person or something by capita.

That's the only thing they can do there and you gotta keep in mind that means that each woman has 300 and each man has 300 and still they don't lower the order of condoms every year it's not like they have extras you know why because they just cut out all the bullshit they can't go hey do you want to go out for dinner or hey do you want to do you want to go to the movies i just cut straight to business they're like so let's go right that's exactly 299 left you know what tinder is like in antarctica they swipe the wrong way on you they might not see another man for a week but what's the ratio does each girl have like eight guys to pick from that's i don't know about the ratio i i would say that they are i i don't think that there's a lot of monogamy going on i bet there's some dirty dirty researching whores down there

uh i think that we can mix it up a lot of guys leaving those those places with 297 condoms like and they masturbated into three of them i i bet if if like one guy had syphilis down there they'd have an emergency crisis on their hands yeah well yeah they probably will yeah i would i would put antarctica above africa because it's got to be kind of cool to walk out somewhere and see nothing like it probably feels so weird to look around and like as far as you can see everywhere it's just white ice yeah just ice and white and dead and i'm i'm honestly with you like like i would prefer to go to antarctica than to africa and i realize that africa is an enormous continent that's very many ecosystems from deserts to to coastal regions to tropical

regions and i get it and then i have to explain our ignorance we're we're bathing in it yeah yeah and yet still i would prefer to go to ant because I would rather see those penguins and stuff. There's a possibility that, you know, that shit's going to melt at some point anyway. I might be one of the— Well, but then there's land. Yeah. There's land in Antarctica. There's nothing in the North Pole.

There's nothing at the North Pole to stand on? No land. There's ice. Oh, there's lots and lots of ice. For five more years. Oh, for five more years, says Al Gore. Yeah. What one country would you want to visit that you haven't been to before?

I haven't been to anywhere in Europe. I haven't been anywhere, but I want to go to Canada first. That's the first one on my list because there are, you know, our neighbors. Have you only been in the US so far? Yeah. Yeah.

I would love to go to Canada because every, everything that I know about Canada and the people I've met from there just seems like they're, they're very much like us, but a little, a little bit different. And I think that it would be easy to fit in there and, and have a good time

there it's it seems wonderful there to me wouldn't you want the outside looking a little opposite yeah i mean if you only get one place to pick from and then they're gonna lop your head off then all right maybe we go to like greece or something and see and see like all the ancient uh uh structures there or something like that or we go to to france and we see world war one and world war two battlefields go to normandy beach or something like that. Or we go to France and we see World War I and World War II battlefields. We go to Normandy Beach or something like that. You know, there's many options. Or Amsterdam and get wheat cookies.

Yes! And whores. You guys have better prostitution than perhaps anywhere in the world. And we have tulips and windmills and canals. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you guys the wooden shoes people? Yeah, and cheese, strobe waffles.

We have a very racist... Do you actually wear wooden shoes? Yeah, yeah, all the time. She looks so crazy if he's gonna fire me. I got some wood Jordans over here. It's like Kyle with guns.

You have wooden shoes? Yeah, sure. Can you imagine what it's like to with guns. You have wooden shoes? Yeah, sure. Can you imagine what it's like to live on a lower apartment in the Netherlands as people are walking on hardwood and clogs? Honestly, I understand this culture, but this is out of control. It is so loud all the time.

Where's the midnight? Clogging about up there. All high. Nobody cares because everybody's high right if I weren't so goddamn high I'd go up there and keep him to pieces my mind's map issues everybody in the Netherlands lives in windmills has wooden shoes and rides cows to work that's unwieldy difficult animal to ride to work. That's cows to work. That's an unwieldy, difficult animal to ride to work. Because it'll just decide, I'm not going anywhere anymore. Oh, and bicycles. Bicycles, of course.

You ever ridden a cow? All the time. Not for, like, real. Like when you're a kid. Yeah, I have too. It was really cool. We had, like, a cow amongst the herd that was named Bacala. And Bacala was, like, super gentle and sweet, and you could, like, you know,

come here, give me a feeder, an apple or whatever. And my dad would like put me up on the cow's back and I just kind of hang on. And it would just walk around and stuff. And it was really fun when I was like five years old or something like that. I still remember Bacala. Oh, good old Bacala. Yeah, she didn't make it. I think I would pick, for the reason that Woody was just saying, I think I'd pick China or Japan

because I want to go somewhere way, way different and just see how it goes. Probably Japan because I've watched a lot of videos of China and the street vendors, and there's a lot of bug eating. It's very dirty. Delicious. Enjoy your Scorpio. But Japan seems really clean

and also super, super weird and different in a lot of ways so i think that might be the way that that would probably be my choice i went to japan i think uh it would give you just what you're looking for i'd say no go for japan too i say japan i'm signing on board with that too in japan maybe south korea i know they're very close you probably want to do both if you were in the region right but the things about japan that interest me so much is one i i have this idea that there's a fetish for tall white men there and i know that they have that whole thing where there's that entire generation of japanese men who are just staying indoors and not dating and not going out with the women so i i

have this picture of like millions of horny Japanese women of age, and I'm like a fetish piece there as a 6'1", 6'2", attractive white man with a few yen in my pocket, right? Not even that. You just have to step up your karaoke game and you're all good. Oh, I am already there, my friend. Kyle, let's go Wingman Japan and see how it goes.

I would love that. And there's also plenty of Filipino whores there. From my ignorant understanding, I believe the Filipinos are like the Mexicans of Japan, right? They've migrated in. I think Japanese brothels don't let Westerners in. They will

never know it is even me. Oh, I am so horny. I have a hard day at work. I work 48 hours straight. I almost kill myself. Just need a little bit of grease. just need a little bit of Reese Reese

have one of those horribly offensive like Japanese eye like scarves where it just like you're peering through it like a fake buck teeth like it's a World War II propaganda poster I think I'd go to india you know for the same reasons i've been to japan so that one's sort of done but it'd be very different it'd be a

different experience they speak english there which i think is a big bonus most of them speak english and uh it would just be a culture that i don't experience and i'm curious about it because i've worked and known so many indians worked with and known So when you're in India, would you go just to the rich touristy areas? Or would you say, I'm going to the poor places? The slums are one of the things I really want to see. I want to see the pictures of that river. I want to smell it. I want to take in the

sounds in the ocean. I might even touch it, just to say I touched it. I want to see... I wonder how they would take to a tourist being like, oh, these people live in corrugated aluminum shacks. I wondered what the other half was like. That's the experience I want. I would not.

So one of the requirements I have if I'm going somewhere is I want there to be proper toilet facilities. And Japan, I feel like they have better toilets than us. So here's the thing. Guys, great story, okay? So my sister went to Japan and she sends me a message Jody you're not gonna believe this but in Japan they have these automated toilets Okay, you press the button it comes out it cleans your butt and then press another button it It you know blows your butt so we were here in Toronto. You and your sister share a lot. Carry on.

We're Dutch, okay? That's what you do. I was in this hotel here in Toronto and they had this toilet. I go to my girlfriend and I'm like, listen, I'm going to sit on this thing and it's going to take my anal cleaning

virginity, right? It's going to be the first time that I'm going to be sitting on a toilet and it's going to take my anal cleaning like virginity right it's going to be the first time that i'm going to be sitting on a toilet and it's going to you know clean my butthole i was nervous i was scared excited at the same time i didn't know what to think and i sat down and it's literally the best thing of your life okay so i ended up buying one We now have one in the house. One of these toilets. And it's literally, because I remember one PKI you guys said, you know, you don't know what real luxury is until you have baby wipes, right? Baby wipes, like, you know, I tell my friends, like, you get a Lambo, you get a nice watch.

That's nothing. You know you've made it once you have baby wipes, like I tell my friends like, you got a Lambo, you got a nice watch, that's nothing. You know you've made it once you have baby wipes. Okay, that's what I used to say because the moment you clean yourself down there with the best thing in the world, that's when you know you're good, right? And then I had to correct that and say you haven't made it in life until you have a toilet that cleans your butt. Okay. So just so you guys know, I totally recommend it. Oh, I have one. Amazing.

Wait, is it a toilet that cleans your ass or is it like you have a toilet and then a bidet? No, no, no, no. No bidet. You sit on the toilet just like any other toilet. And I have a little remote remote but it's also on the wall and you just you know you do your thing you poop and then you press flush on there and it flushes it plus it's heated and all is a really nice and then you press a button and a little thing comes out and you and then it starts squirting water up your butt and it's really

accurate amazingly control it and and and you can make it pulsate so i've used that no no no it's amazingly accurate right on the butt i've used that in japan and i like it i won't doubt that it's a great experience but i feel like the separate bidet is the classier experience i feel like like that, like, what would the Queen of England have? What would the Queen of England have? It's old-fashioned. She can't even go to the bathroom on her own anymore. She'd have an Indian slave man who would come out and, like, lick her asshole clean.

I bet she literally has a separate bidet. Would you have another human being come along and do it for you? What is Prince William? I don't even know the prince's name. There's a William, right? I bet he has a bidet. I bet there are bathrooms and old money, I bet, has a separate bidet.

That's my thinking on it. The sumo wrestlers have like a... It's probably better just not... I don't know. I feel like the other one is... Yeah, but you're just on your phone. You're reading a book. You press the button. It goes up your butt, and then you're like,

oh, let me just dry that shit too. And then, you know... Does it dry your butt? Yeah. Well, if you get the good ones, guys. Come on. Right? And then it blows warm air, and it just dries your butt, and then I do one more baby wipe for good measure.

We only have a bidet in one of the bathrooms. I wonder what this costs. I'm not buying onto this because I still say that the best thing that... First of all, what I do is I poop in the morning and then I take a shower because there's no way I'm going to get clean. Oh, of course.

This is that close to the shower. I almost never poop and then wipe and then go about my day like some sort of savage. Like, there needs to be a shower after poop. What if you're out and about? That just doesn't happen. My poops are very regular. I know when they're coming.

They happen in the morning. How can that be possible given your diet? Because everything builds up until the morning, and then there is an enormous shit that happens every morning. I mean, I can vouch for that. Yes So like the top of the line Let me just the top of the line is to have a slave who does these things for you from my understanding of Japanese culture These sumo wrestlers because they are so large cannot wipe their own butt sometimes He said so they have the equivalent of you know medieval knight might have a squire They have the equivalent of, you know, a medieval knight might have a squire.

So the equivalent squire for the sumo wrestler, part of his job is to wipe the sumo wrestler's ass. When you have another person doing this for you, nothing beats that. No, I don't want another person wiping my ass. What are those little robots that run around and clean your floor? What are those called? Roomba. Roomba is great until you have an actual human being slave who goes around and just vacuums up for you. Oh, you know what else Roomba isn't great?

Is when there's your cat shits on the floor and then Roomba spends all day spreading around that thick, fatty cat shit everywhere. That happened to a friend of mine who hit his cat shit on the floor and his Roomba got it caught up while he was at work and he came back to just basically one of those, like, string and thumbtack mazes that detectives use of cat shit all over his apartment.

That is disgusting. I bet it smelled awful. It looks like a super toilet is between one and two grand. Which, yeah. You know what, I put these toilets in one of these. You spend your money wisely, guys. You spend your money wisely. If you go to North Africa, slaves are $400. You spend your money wisely, guys. You spend your money wisely. I'm not buying those slaves.

Slaves are $400. So beat that. You could get five slaves for the cost of one of these super toilets. How often a day do you have to feed a super toilet? Zero. Only as often as you poop, right? It's fine. But you have five slaves, Kyle.

Now you've got overhead on your butt-wiping brigade. They're going to feed themselves. You make them get day jobs in your restaurant or whatever. And, you know, you whip them with the belt. Oh, your first thought was to put them in a restaurant when they're not wiping your ass. Well, I only need one of them to wipe my ass, right? Kyle's Old Time Barbecue. New flavor every week. Yeah, that's, you know what?

I treat these toilets the same way I treat first class. I'm going to put off experiencing it for as long as possible so that I don't have to like, like if I went to Queb's house for a vacation and I spent a week enjoying that luxury and I came back home, it would just feel sad. I'd just be like, oh, oh oh this shitty now normal toilet where you just wipe like some savage i once in my life flew i once in my life flew private um which i didn't pay for it was paid for it was a sponsorship two hours which was crazy and then since then it's like every flight it's been two years every flight

I've been like this is just this is terrible I have to go through security yeah yeah like literally you don't have to go through security if you go private that's the biggest part walk in and they're like yeah whatever and then meanwhile you sit down and they don't care about your seat belt they don't care if you smoke on the plane right um you can smoke on the plane well i mean i flew with a few dutch people i don't know what they were smoking but yeah those other people out of there given an option to smoke like a cigarette on a plane like don draper i'd do it for sure that'd be cool a cigarette you were the 60s. I have a feeling there were no cigarettes on this plane. No, Don Draper smoked cigarettes.

He did. He wouldn't have messed around with the devil's lettuce, and I won't either. Yeah, that would be cool. That would be cool. I'm tempted to... I think you should push Jack in this, because it's cool. I'm like reverse Richard Ryan. He comes on the show, and he always ends up buying something.. He comes on the show and he always ends up buying something.

Queb comes on the show and now I'm buying something. No, but really, really, here's the thing, right? How often do you poop? I poop once a day. Once or twice a day. Sometimes twice a day. Daily thing. Right?

It's definitely a daily thing. And isn't it just – it's like also the most disgusting thing you do, except for sex sometimes I would say. It also the most disgusting thing you do you know except for sex sometimes i would say it's the most disgusting thing you do and it's your body right but you know you could you could take a shit and then take a shower but do you really want to in the middle i don't want my shower schedule to be at all correlated with my poop schedule right i would like to poop and be like oh yeah a shower is a less effective way of now here's the thing the bidet you know right now a poop for you is like

oh gotta go poop again or uh you know i'll have five minutes on twitter but now when you have this automated toilet your poop you're looking forward to it you're going oh yes i'm gonna poop and it's gonna be good and relaxing it's like a massage down there and now the on the bidet like my old school like what i think of the classic bidet it you have to run it for a little bit before you hit your butt so that it right away it's. How is it warm right away? Because it has like this thing which just keeps – It has its own hot water heater built into it? Yeah, or I'm pretty sure if you get the really fancy ones, the moment you sit down, it feels you're sitting down or a sensor.

Oh, here's the thing. I walk up to my toilet. It goes like this. It just opens up for me. Dude, it's funny. Isn't that amazing? I'm such an asshole because here's my first thought the toilet that we want to upgrade most is the downstairs guest bath that's the one

everyone would see it would be like a show yeah it would until somebody fucks it up and there's a bunch of water and poop and wet toilet paper all over the place it's like in my living room the toilet now right you know it's like i'm doing this house tour, and I open the door, and the toilet seat just lifts up. And I'm like, there's the toilet. Close it. And they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Show it again. Show it again.

Do that again. And it's great. It's going to be the best purchase of your life, okay? You're going to be using it every day. It's one of those purchases you don't regret okay you might buy a nice car and go uh they didn't really need this car right and and now you don't need toilet paper anymore no not much anyways that's not true right you wipe first right no you wipe after unless you i don't know what kind of shit. Yeah, you dry off after. I always handled 90% of it with the toilet paper

and then just get fresh and clean afterwards. If you get a good one, you sit down, it cleans, it does all the dirty work for you, and you just grab one, you know, toilet sheet, wipe it, and it's all good. I might be overdoing it. I thought that it blew your ass dry. Yeah, yeah, but you would just, like, just in case, right?

How long does that take? So, like, once you finish hitting it, once you get that, do you just sit there and it goes, Depends if it's a full play or not. You're like, are you leaning on the other side, you know, making sure you get the right spread, you know, to make sure the whole area is... Yeah,'re like well but you can move it so you can be like i want the beam a little bit more on the left a little bit more on the right the beam so high the beam of water and then the

the drying one right and you can change the temperature so if you're like oh i really want to have a cold like beam up my butt you just and it goes cool is that something that you do often that sounds very unpleasant i like it warm i like it warm and just relaxing nothing wrong with it just you know nice warm beam up there and i'm i'm not i'm not ashamed to share this it's clean down there okay because i like i take care of myself. There you go. Yeah. Everybody should be clean down there. But the best we have right now is... The best I have right now are one-wipe Charlies. That actually is just as clean.

It's just not just as cool. Yes. I'm not as cool, but I'm just as clean. And I smell like peppermint, so... Strong point. Now here's the thing. Sorry. What would happen if you shit on the table?

Would you then also use one-wide Charlie or whatever they're called? No, I'd just bring a hose and a leaf blower. Spray it away and dry it off. Table bidet by Taylor. Kyle? Yeah, I'm going to tell everyone a bit about Omaha Steaks, brand new sponsor. They sent me a lovely gift basket. The holidays are fast approaching.

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too as a matter of fact when we get get to Whistle, I got those. But the steak sounds legit. I'd like that. Yeah, they were tasty. I really enjoyed those. Glad Chase has been spreading out the swag a little bit. Getting jealous for a while. I got a...

I won't show it now. I'll wait until it's a thing i got you get a whistle too i did get a whistle but i i got another thing uh like yesterday or the day before and i don't know the name of it but is it a bag yeah yeah it is i got that yeah did you get the whiskey glasses and everything i got the whiskey glasses yeah it's a ton, it's a ton of stuff. We'll get to it when we get to it. It was some interesting stuff. Yeah, that's good shit. Do you want to do one more? Yeah, I guess I could until Taylor gets back and tell everyone

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So go to Whistle.com right now and use code PAINKILLER at checkout. Visit Whistle.com today. Link down below. Whistle, the smarter way to care for your best friend. Whistle. Also great for your kids. I didn't even think of that. Absolutely not.

It's probably against the law to track human beings. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Is it against the rules to mention it in the copy? the law to track human beings. Is it against the rules to mention it in the copy? It has been with similar products that were not for pets in the

past. Don't ever do that. But for your pet. If you love your pets, get Whistle. If you don't, then that says something about you. I would have loved to have had that on Dak on the times when he disappeared

yeah because like every time he disappeared for a few days he came back more feral and more angry at me like he would run off and he like let's just say our emotional bank account was at like an eight like 10 being he loves me dear dearly and one being one being he attacks me on sight and he disappeared for a few days and he come back like a six like oh shit he's a little skittish now and then he disappeared for a few more days and he comes back he's like a four and these days he hovers right oh he's at a one because last time he was on the loose he attacked me and bit me so oh shit so i guess he is it he he just is at a one so so yeah you know the conversation i had with my neighbor totally worked i haven't seen their dog since i talked to them

wonderful or maybe they listened what did you tell them plotting so i ain't fast forward for for uh our neighbor has a german shepherd and that german shepherd keeps coming at us and all but attacking us you know one foot wrapped like lunging and barking aggressively super aggressively and uh i'm kind of nervous i tried to alpha the dog and like tell it to quiet that didn't it's not the right it didn't have any uh effect that i was hoping uh and you know at one point he even chased me away i was in the golf cart like oh fuck how fast can he run? And faster than a golf cart is the answer to that. But I talked to him and I was like, look, like every time I get my trash or take it out, your dog comes at me. And it's been at our kitchen door. And this is pretty far. Like,

we have a big yard. And so for him to be all the way at our kitchen door, he's way into my zone. And I talked to him about it. And i haven't seen the dog since i know that they sent it off for training but i think that was planned talk or not um so at first i was like well i guess maybe the dog's just at training and now i think maybe they're just more um i don't know compassionate maybe they like responsible they're they're not letting their dog roam all over our property anymore. That's an African bat, Woody. Those are flying around in your

potential airspace, just saying. Does this one have a head that's way too big? Yes. I think all of this kind of bat are all this big. That's not a dog photoshopped on that. As is typical,

I am an alpha predator. I am going to hop in my paramotor and hunt down African dog bats. It is the African butycopher. How big is it? It is too big to fight. Let me look at the comments.

How do you know? I need a banana for scaling. There's no way it's that big. No, it's just a little... It could be this big. Let me do a search on the name and I'll see. Its name is almost impossible to pronounce.

It's African Buttocker B-U-T-T-I-K-O-F-E-R E-P-O-T-U-L-A-F-E-R. E-POT-U-L-A-T-E-D Bat. So let's see. It's a buttfucker bat? Butt-to-Kofor.

Alright. No, you are mispronounced. It is a buttfucker bat. I'm going to their website. I wonder how big it is. One bite of these AIDS is no more. I don't really have a problem with those AIDS. So how big is it?

I'm having a hard time coming up with it. It's little. It does not look small. But to cover bat? I'm not getting any results is this a made-up kind of back it probably is maybe I would I would I'm voting for this is a fake picture it's made up strength for us it's a fruit but I've

never searched something on Google and had them tell me nothing is available. There you go. I typed it like this. But the fucker bats. Bats with dog. I could link you to the Reddit thing so you're sure to get the spelling correct because it is a bizarre spelling. But the fucker.

So I found it on Wikipedia, but it doesn't mention how big it is. Well, I put up bullshit Wikipedia. I carry away small child. Granted, it must be a very, very small child. Sometimes they team up, work in teams of four to five. That would be horrifying. Like I'm glad we don't have any creatures like that.

That is how I lost my seventh wife. One of my favorite Discovery Channel-type programs is when they talk about animals that are now extinct. But when they go back to 60 million years ago, I kind of lose interest because it's like, Jesus, that's an incomprehensible amount of time. It's so fucking long ago and so far removed from us as people but the animals that that have only been gone for like 10 000 years and like the last big ice age like we and by we i mean like human beings just like us with

our same brains and same skeletal structural and structure and everything same level of intelligence coexisted with like those saber-toothed cats and those enormous bison and mammoths and stuff. That stuff is scary. They talk about the Thunderbirds. I don't think that's the scientific name or anything. They were gigantic eagles with a 17-foot wingspan or something that could have

totally carried a child away. Imagine if your kid got carried away by a gigantic eagle one day. That would be pretty sad. Unless it was like, thank God, we only had enough food for nine of them. And you just know it's going to carry your kid back away to the nest, and all the other eagles are going to peck him to death or whatever.

Yeah, you know that's going to happen. All right, on the high end, they're 180 millimeters. What is that? That dick size 180 millimeters seven inches yeah yeah which out seven oh that's not a very big bad at all half dick size I'm not impressed by this bat on a cold day I have if we're off of bat talk i found something interesting that i thought particularly woody would dislike apparently there is an epidemic now of teens anonymously bullying themselves online oh my god attention so it says uh about six percent of kids from the age of 12 through 17 have bullied themselves digitally according to research conducted by Samir Hunja, a professor of criminology at Florida Atlantic University.

She says it's a new phenomenon, and this is definitely happening. We have a tendency to demonize the aggressor, but in some cases, maybe 1 out of 20, the aggressor and the target are the same. The new study shows a dangerous trend for teenagers online. How does that work? And the reason for this is because we have a culture that makes victimhood into currency. And so the more of a victim you are, the more likely your opinion is

to be taken seriously, regardless of how verifiable or true it is. And so if you can turn yourself into a victim by bullying yourself, suddenly you have a little more power, a little more authority. Hey, you weren't bullied. You can't talk about this. Or same vein as like, you you can't you can't talk about this or same vein is like you're white you can't talk about this you're male you can't talk about this but oh no i've made myself into a victim i'm now into the fold i'm

i'm you know i'm the thing so what a change of pace this has been being a victim used to not be cool exactly it used to be like like if you didn't want to get bullied you kind of wanted to be the one who was more likely to bully than the one who was to get bullied. Like, you wanted to be the one that was in charge more. I feel like God should not have given you puberty at age 10. I wasn't a bully, mostly. You've said you were. Not a physical bully, just jokes. What about when you wound that little girl up in a swing? I didn't mean to, and I was a very young kid.

I hadn't hit puberty there. I was just a large boy. Yes, you had, because that's why you were especially qualified to spin the tire. Oh, I was too young for that. But no, that wasn't bullying also. So was she. That was true. Fair.

But I didn't mean for her to hit her head on the side of the tire swing. I thought it was... It was outside Taylor's customary behavior. I was trying to impress people with how fast I could spin it because that's what was like, yeah this is what counts, this is what counts. But uh yeah six percent of teens out there are bullying themselves. That is a small number. It's a higher rate among gay teens. They're more likely to bully themselves online. Let's see. The trans kids are getting all the good bullies.

They're getting all the high-quality bullies. Yeah. I'm picking on me. It says that 8% of children ages 7 to 16 have engaged in physical self-harm, and so that's an interesting correlation, not really kind of a correlation there, I guess, of like self-harm physically versus, you know, perceived harm in a social setting, you know, trying to get points. I knew a kid that self-harmed in high school.

I think we all did, yeah. Well, it wasn't very common when I was in high school. I'd never heard of it before. He scratched himself a lot, and he would like write words in his forum and stuff. Like what? What words words i'm sorry i user don't forget homework no no no band practice at six it was like i guess you could call it edgy but it or just sad you know like like maybe shame i think he wrote i think he wrote like stop in he wrote stop in his forum. In hindsight, he was crying out for help.

He was writing negative connotation words on his forum. But I was an idiot. All I saw was a guy with a very impressive pain tolerance. It was like, wow, he's so edgy and cool. He just cuts himself as a hobby. Like I'd never heard of this. He's the only person like in high school now, like apparently one in 10 people are hurting themselves.

That'd be like 30 kids. There was one in my class and I don't know. That was my reaction to it. Like, holy smokes. Like I think I would get halfway through the first letter and be like, this really hurts. I'm not i'm not interested like i'll just see the counselor i'm with you on that like i i i i wouldn't i don't think i could cut myself i i first of all i wouldn't want to be scarred and second i'm too vain to to self-harm right like there was a girl that i went to school

with who pulled her own hair out in this nervous sort of situation. And she had all these bald patches on her head from just pulling the hair out. And it was really gross. And there was another girl. I have this strong memory of this. I guess it's semi. I didn't witness it, but I was told of it. And it was like, there's a possibility that this is from a movie or a TV show. But I'm almost positive this happened in my high school class, that a girl was having like a breakup with a guy.

And she went to the bathroom and cut her wrist with scissors and then came back into the classroom like, look what you made me do, like bleeding everywhere. Like I have a strong memory of that being a thing. I hope I'm not remembering. Yeah, but she went across the street, not down the road. She did go across. Absolutely, absolutely. That or she just didn't know what she was doing you know there was a girl in my class who also pulled her hair and she couldn't stop she's always pulled her hair and i remember her going bald from it or anything but she always had hair that was like its own style you know coming out of this part and she was really pretty and i you know like i

don't know i would have dated her like she's she's hot throw a wig on her and she's all good she put a tack on my chair and like i had hardly any interaction with this girl other than the fact that we sat like a couple seats away from each other and i think i went up on you know maybe answered a question wrote on the board or something then sat down and uh i remember for whatever reason i sat down on the side of my leg you know like like you might and uh and then the tack went into my calf and it was like ow and i pull it out and she's there like giggling and pretty much claiming responsibility for it and it was just like like how many times did you hit her i didn't hit her at all but like it really what it did is it hurt my feelings like

like why would you do that to me you know and she's laughing about it and it's probably because she liked you wait how old were you sophomore in high school something like that oh then maybe not yeah I think she bullied me that's my takeaway from it when I was

in kindergarten I put a bunch of glue on a kid's seat see you were bullied you're like oh take away from it. When I was in kindergarten, I put a bunch of glue on a kid's seat. See, you were a bully. You're like, oh, I have a similar story. I fucked with a guy. That's the opposite of my story, Taylor. You fucking 10-year-old puberty cherry chest bastard. I did the tack thing, too.

I think it may be in fourth grade, because I read a book. I remember it so well. Sitting at my desk, I even remember the way I was pointing, the way I was oriented in the classroom. I remember reading some Laura Ingalls Wilder book, like one of those Little House on the Prairie books

or something like that. And there was a part where someone put a tack in someone else's chair. And I was like, ha! What an idea! Never even considered that! And I was looking for tacks you know all of a sudden and they oh there's a fucking cork board right there and i i got the tack and now i'm just looking for a victim and and i just you know i i taxed somebody just

because i'd read that book and i and it was funny well but you have to put it on a piece of double stick tape so what do you think that person thought when you tacked them like what do you think their reaction they never knew it was me i would never take credit for it no what you do taylor because these are no but that's not that doesn't they still have a feeling about being bullied pain pain do you think it was just that bullied i don't just physical yeah i think it was definitely some bullying pain i agree with woody on that maybe i don't fucking know i don't even remember which kid I attacked. But the way I did it, I took masking tape because it's sort of that manila color, sort of light yellow. And then the desks were that exact same color.

So you put the tack on the desk and you just push the tape over the spike and stick it to the desk. That way when you sit down, your butt doesn't slide the tack away out of the danger zone. You get them right the way you want to. You know what else you can do at school is take condiment packets from the kitchen or the cafeteria, and then when you're going to the bathroom in between classes or during class or whatever, you put a packet under all of the standing points between the lid and the toilet so that when somebody sits down, it's just boom, just a ton of ketchup goes all over the place or a bunch of mayonnaise or mustard or something.

Yeah, yeah. I would take stink bombs, not like regularly, but there was a time when I took stink bombs, little glass vials, and I lifted the leg of the desk. Those desks were very heavy, so you had to be careful. And I placed it the the leg of the desk you know they're those desks were very heavy so you had to be careful and I placed it under the leg of the desk and I was like like backing away from it like Indiana Jones and uh of course when the person sits down it crushes the glass vial releases rotten egg stink all over them not on them but like it around them from their from the

under their desk I got I got a good bit of trouble for that I think it's just spending me for two days for my yeah Kyle mean-spirited I had stink bombs they were funny I was fucking 16 or something I know someone who had a that liquid ass stuff you were talking about yeah and it's in a spray can if you guys don't know what i think that's the name of it liquid ass like it is concentrated the worst smell imaginable and i know someone who sprayed it in the sophomore hallway when we were juniors and cleared the whole fucking thing out like people had trouble going back oh it was that bad like it smelled like a dead animal had

been rotting in someone's like just just a fucking roadkill carcass had been souring in somebody's locker and it was like it was there was like a pa announcement about like if anyone knows anything about the smell in the sophomore hallway please report to the principal's office and it was like who i don't and if i did i wouldn. I remember someone put some sort of stink bomb. They did it clever. They put it in the stairs and then left and it was in a glass vial. So somebody would step on it sometime in the future

and it really disassociated the placer from the problem. With you. Anyway, everyone was trying to do it. Like, I think it smells like rotten eggs. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, kind of. Other people are like, I think it smells like rotten eggs and I'm like yeah yeah kind of other people are like I think it smells like sulfur what am I fucking a scientist I don't know what sulfur smells like at the time it's the same smell is sulfur yeah yeah but high school me was like you know hoity-toity oh la-dee-da Mr. Sulfur Man pinkies up in this hallway eventually the person who did it,

I remember his name is Scott something. I won't rat him out, but I never did rat him out. I knew that it was him, and he got busted later on. What would they do when someone had perpetrated something like that and they wanted to find out? Because at my school, they put out a bounty on the guy, a reward for information. No, they would discuss.

They would call us in individually and like cross-reference stuff so they'd be like so we heard that there was a party on friday night and there was a bunch of drinking there who uh who brought the alcohol it's like i don't know i i didn't drink but but you saw a lot of people drinking it's like maybe it could have been you know i'm just a kid I'm not familiar with all that stuff. You know, and then they call somebody else in. And then eventually someone will say something and they'll go down that path. You know, like that's the way they did it with our school.

It's like they'd call you in and do like the good cop, bad cop. I was always great at talking myself out of trouble. So I would get into fights or whatever. And then I would just talk my way out and be like, I don't know, just talk this guy's head off and be like, oh I'm so sorry, so sorry, you know. Because me and the guy who got in a fight, we know if we become friends again in that room, most likely we're not gonna get suspended, they'll just send us back. So the moment we got busted, right, and you know, but the fights got like a little bit of punches, two punches, three punches each.

No blood or anything. And then the teacher's there, right? And then you go to the principal's office or whatever you guys call it. And then you sit down and both of you know you're in trouble, right? And you just wait for, you're either going to wait for him to say sorry or you're gonna say sorry and both will be like yeah we're good now we're good we're friends now yeah and then afterwards after school you just beat each other up again but uh we were just roughhousing you know like right horse be like oh no no no i just dropped something and he just i accidentally

ah this is just a mistake we We were wrestling, but we always wrestle. And then he tried to pick it up again and again. And then I once almost got suspended for something ridiculous. This guy who clearly had issues, he got mad at me and just randomly kicked me straight up in the junk, right? And, you know, if you've ever had like a foot pierced or your ball sack, you know, like it hurts a lot. So I went to the toilet and I just sat on the toilet because I was like, you know, dying over there. And the teacher comes over and goes, yeah, you know, you've been on the toilet for too long. You need to get get off the toilet. And I'm like, not right now.

Not right now not right now and then the teacher goes okay if you don't come up come off the toilet you're you're suspended so i opened the door and i just shouted at her and i went i said something like i just got kicked in the fucking balls and then i shut the door again and then because i i believe she was she was a new teacher or whatever. So she didn't really know how to handle the situation. And she just walked off. That happened to me. A guy came up to me.

Did you use that excuse again? He put his hands on my two shoulders, which had all my attention. And then with that, he kneed me in the balls. And he was my friend, right? We were friends. We went skiing and little vacations together and stuff. I think he just didn't know what he was doing to me so i told the story on pka and i gave his first and last name and then all the fans fucked with him on facebook like relentlessly and it made me feel better about the whole thing yeah it's like 30 years after the fact

ah he would be trolled online yes i'm the ultimate winner ever play the game or have played the game Where you go? What's the capital of Thailand and it's Bangkok? Bangkok and then hit each other in the ball. You know what my question is is I give two fingers right to the lower part of their throat What's the capital of Thailand we knew a couple guys who who play a dick slapping game there's two brothers it's mo for New York Mo and his slapping games with a very long Dixon so the game is that you can hit the other person in the balls with no retribution at any time

as long as it's on camera so what you have to do is get a hidden camera or someone to sneakily start recording and then it's no holds barred fists and kicks and like like you know bats and whatever to the balls because it's you know then you can compile all the videos together and and and they enjoy like watching the montage of all the balls ball whacking at the end of the

year the last their last generation yeah these are 50 year old men that's that's so fucking weird what's interesting like i just i i don't i would only guess at the figures but they're very rich they could buy me and not notice the money out of their checking account and this is the games they play yeah these are the games go for it right yeah you guys have any other good like ridiculous high school memories or like uh i you know those like moments where like totally you watch as somebody's path is made for them like where like early in high school it's like somebody does something stupid it's like oh you're now you're the guy who peed his pants forever like no matter what like until you go to college sorry bud you're cashed out people don't forget there was a dude i guess

i was a sophomore he was a freshman and uh it was during lunch and it was like kind of the winding down part of lunch and we were in the big cafeteria area and so we were all like standing up getting our backpacks and everything like kind of waiting out the last 10-15 minutes of the lunch period and this kid very very overweight and this was like i don't know 2005 2006 like, I don't know, 2005, 2006, I don't know, around there. And so it was before the full neckbeard meme was fully about. And this guy personified it.

He wore a full black trench coat. He wore all black clothes. He wore black combat pants, wore black combat army boots. And he stood out there to the side of the lunch period and just did like fake karate moves and stuff for a while like he was fucking weird this guy like and he was clearly trying to like look hardcore and stuff like who who who and it's like we just ate like cheap tyson chicken sandwiches

something like it's not a big deal and so like like a group gathered around like watching this guy i'm like what the fuck is is he doing it's got like eyebrows furrowed like intensely looking like not at you through you like oh oh that kind of stuff and then my my good buddy at the time josh uh who was more of a had more of a southern talk guy goes like he's like and he was known to be an actual bully uh and he was like what the hell are you doing he's like practicing it's like fuck you practicing you the karate kid he's like no this is taekwondo he goes no i think, I think you're the Karate Kid. Everybody agrees he's the Karate Kid. Everybody's like, yeah, he's the Karate Kid.

And so for the next four years of this kid's life, I was there for three because I was in high school. But I'd be walking by and I'm like, oh, Karate Kid. And they'd say that. They're like, hey, hey, Karate Kid. And he would still dress the same. And it was clear that he hated that. But he made his bed and he has to sleep in it. There was a dude in my high school.

In eighth grade, he was always known as kind of tough, but he was short. He was small. But he did practice some sort of martial art. I forget which. And no one fucked with him because even though he was small, he was tough. So he goes into high school

and the other kids don't know this, right? So he's a freshman. There's four years, freshman, sophomore, junior, senior. And he's the youngest, I think a junior, someone two years older, started messing with him. Sometimes there'd be a crowd, and they'd push on your backpack, which is pushing you into the person in front. They wonder why you're so weird, but it's not your fault or whatever.

Fucking Chris Bastizzi, something like close to that turns around and decks the guy in the fucking jaw right he doesn't care that he's outweighed by like 65 pounds it's just like we're gonna deal with this right here right now he lays the guy out he doesn't like get knocked out or anything but the guy like doesn't like he's no interest in fighting this fucking uh tasmanian devil in front of him and everyone was like fuck like it was like prison rules or something like like he just he immediately hit the biggest guy and they're like well don't push chris pastizzi's backpack because he hits you in the face and it was it was really i bet he didn't get fucked with anymore right yeah it Yeah. It was – like just normally – like everyone tells you like, oh, yeah, what you do is you just hit your bully right in the nose. Horseshit.

That is bullshit. Any bully that ever bullied me, clearly I pose no risk to him. That's why this arrangement was created in the first place. Yeah. And I have hit a bully in the nose before and it did not work out splendidly. Like it's – I was outclassed. That's why it bully in the nose before, and it did not work out splendidly. I was outclassed. That's why it started in the first place. But it worked for Chris somehow.

Magic. Was there a kid that you went to school with that shit his pants? I can't think of one. No, we didn't have any kids. I'll never forget. I remember this guy's first and last name. I know what he does for a living today. He's a doctor.

I'll never forget kyle his name is kyle too i won't say his last name because there were six kyle's in my grade you shit your pants in second grade miss thurman's class and your mama had to bring you some new pants never forget because in second grade the bathroom wasn't you didn't leave the room there was a bathroom at the back of the classroom and it was sort of like two classrooms shared a bathroom so like you'd walk into the bathroom and and there was a door opposite that door that opened to this to another classroom so both of those classrooms were sharing this one bathroom and there was a boy's room and a girl's room and

there's just one toilet in there right for like the second graders because you know second grade you walk down the hallway you might get fucking lost or something i guess so like he's back there and he shit his pants and he's been in there forever and so it's clear to all of his classmates who were feet away that something has gone down and it becomes it becomes so embarrassing there's no like it's not like Ms. Thurman goes down the hallway and he's like, yeah, I pooped my pants. It's like, she's like knocking on the door. Come out, Kyle, come out. And he's just like, I can't. And she's like, why?

And he's like, I need my mom. I think you know why, Ms. Thurman. Yeah. Yeah. It's uber-humiliation. I've got one. A kid vomited in the doorway of our second-grade class during, like, you know how they'll have kids do, like, stupid fucking projects, and then, like, parents will come in sometimes for, like, and show it around and, like, you know, a big poster board presentation or whatever. And every grade had to do that, and I guess I was in second or third grade.

And, of course, we're set up in our second or third grade classroom. This one kid who was sitting down doing his presentation on fucking stegosauruses or whatever, like next to his poster board, he just was looking kind of sour all night because I was positioned across from him. So if like the doorway is here, I am on the far side looking towards the entrance to the door. He is sitting near the door facing away from it towards me. And so I was looking across the room at him

the whole night like, God, God, fucking Teddy looks rough tonight. He does not look okay. And just throughout the night, it was only a couple hours long, but at one point, he just looked so miserable and horrible. He got up and took a couple lumbering steps towards,

and he got right into the door jam, right in between where you enter the room, the only entrance, and he got right into the door jam, right in between like where you enter the room, the only entrance and just goes, and it was one of the most violent, loud vomits I've heard ever in my life. I've been to a lot of college parties too. So I've heard vomiting and this was a, I am sick and this is going to smell bad vomit. And it filled the entire doorway to the point that the principal had to get bags of sawdust and come fill it in before more people felt comfortable like walking on it into the room. And that guy, we were in like second or third grade. So that kind of stuff dies much, much sooner.

So thank God it wasn't freshman year for him or something. I have a poop secret. So it was Halloween. And it wasn't me. It was a classmate. But the deal was we came in we wore regular clothes we switched into our Halloween costumes we walked in a parade like around the elementary school and then we changed

back into our regular clothes well this person pooped their Halloween costume and only like he him me and maybe the teacher knew about it and i have kept that secret to the grave for that poor guy yeah he like there was no parents called he just you know he cleaned up switched back into his normal clothes i don't know what they did with the halloween costume but it was the perfect day to have this problem man that that's respect to you for keeping that under wraps i uh this doesn't have to do with pooping or anything. Best with peeing. My first day of kindergarten, literally my first day.

I remember being like, you know, Miss Smith or whatever the fucking name was. Can I go to the bathroom? She's like, yeah, Taylor, do you know where it is? Like, yeah, I know where it is. And so I leave. I go to the bathroom. That's, of course, very close. And I go into one of the stalls instead of the urinal.

And I just remember the thought process in my head was, big boys do whatever they want. Because I was in school, and I was a big boy now. Because that's what they said. Like, you're going to school. You're a big boy. And so I took my dick out, and I peed all over the walls of this stall, all over the place where they, all over with a flusher. That's good.

You go to a new place, you mark your territory like a dog. All over the back. And the whole time, I just remember the thought in my five-year-old kindergarten head, big boys do what they want. Pissing all over the place. And then like, it didn't fully sink in until like years later. I'm like, that was fucking weird. Why'd you do that?

I also got in trouble the first day of kindergarten for saying penis she took me out into the hallway and said that's a no-no word taylor you don't say that you say your front area all right whatever can i go pee again i have a great uh puking story oh i love to hear it i was about 16 and back when i was 16 you know there was a legal drinking age in the Netherlands, and there was this whole controversy about, like, everybody in the class is 16 now. We're going to Poland on, like, a school holiday, school trip. Like, are the kids allowed to drink because everybody was older than 16? Now, some parents said no, some parents said yes. Pretty much the teacher said, hey, listen, you know, you're not allowed to drink,

but if we don't see it we don't know it right um so we're in poland and uh you know the first few days these kids are all drinking and drinking and drinking and i was like i'm here to enjoy the the polish culture and stuff and you know we're waking up early i wasn't a big drinker back then. So there's one day, it's like the day number two, day number three in this Polish trip. We end up going to Auschwitz, right? Which is the biggest concentration camp, ex-concentration camp in the world for the people that didn't know. But here's the thing. We're going in this crazy little van with this Polish driver on these horrible roads.

And he's driving like this, right? And I'm carsick. Like I'm pretty severely carsick. Meanwhile, we're on this dirt road going like this. And this driver probably doesn't even have his driver's license. Driving like this. And we drive all the way to Auschwitz which was half an hour to an hour and I jump out of the car and start puking behind a tree right and all the teachers look away and I'm like either they

thought I was like super nervous about Auschwitz or they were just like yeah Jordy went really hard yesterday we're're just going to look away and pretend that it never happened, right? And I was there like, guys, I'm just car sick. And they were like, mm-hmm. Yeah, sure. How was the trip to Auschwitz? It was. It's definitely like I would recommend you do it.

And especially if you've got kids. It's extremely educational and it is surreal. Do they have a gift shop? Sorry, sorry. One question at a time. Do they have a gift shop? Do they get cups and mugs?

No. Is it heavy? How do they manage to make it heavy? It's 60, 70 years ago. Okay, so here's the thing. You arrive at the place, yeah, and you go with the tour guide, and then you see how big this thing is, right? So from where you are to the horizons, it's filled with the camp, right? And then they start telling these stories about okay well you walk into one of these

sheds and they go you know this would be your bed at home but here nine people would sleep side to side right and then and then they go but somebody will go in the classroom go but where's the toilet right i don't see a toilet they go There's no toilet on top of that You see nine people sleep above you and nine people sleep above you so everybody there is shitting their beds Nine people at a time which is dripping down shitting on nine more people which is dripping down now Here's the thing everybody wants to sleep at the bottom because that's where it's the warmest right Yeah, but now you're laughing right it's beyond fucked up but when you're there and especially as a kid and and even as an adult still and you're in this atmosphere right where you walk into this room and there's just an entire room filled with glasses and they go these were all the glasses they took from all the prisoners right there's a room with just shoes clothes whatever and they go this this is what they took from these

people right they they really really sell the story and they say they do it so it'll never ever happen again but it's it's definitely an experience and you know i would i would recommend it if you're interested but it's very heavy so if you're if you're you know if you can't deal with those heavy things you shouldn't really do it what kind of uh how much of it is still there or i guess how much of it were you able to explore like did you get to see gas chambers and yes so you can go to see the bunks so you can go to the gas chambers but they blew them up right because they were trying to hide the evidence back in the war i believe that's what they said. And then most of the sheds or

whatever they slept in have been burned down, but a few are still standing there. And then you have the fences, and then you have the guard towers or whatever. It's quite a lot of stuff which is still there. And they're like three times. I'm getting on that top bunk.

Because my rationale is heat rises, right? So like, you want to be on the top bunk i'm getting on that top book because my rationale is heat rises right so so like the the it's it's you know you want to be on the top rack of the of that people loving i mean the people there would have known right i i don't know i i i'd want that top bunk for for two reasons obviously not getting pissed on not getting shot on, not getting shat on, but also because I would think the top bunk would be the warmest because, you know, the heat rising from 18 feet below you. No, no, no. You know, there's no... Like, the roof is missing in some of these places, I assume, right?

So you're just getting snowed on. I don't know. I wasn't there, you know. Now, I recognize this is a horrible situation but is anyone getting laid in these bunks because i oh yeah front to back front to back you know they split them but the men in some area and the women in other area they didn't let them come and on top of that is anyone getting laid i don't think so there's no way you're gonna get your schlong up if you haven't had dinner for a week and you've been working every day, right?

And you're covered in shit. And literally everybody you know is dying around you and every morning they're getting lined up and people are being executed. The only thing this situation is missing is a glass coffee table. Fuck, same joke. Sylvester wants to be on that bottom bunk. He's like that guy at the football game, remember remember who's like stroking it in his pants like nobody would see on the sidelines like oh yeah 18 people above me oh yeah uh but it's it's definitely if you if you're ever in Europe or, you know, in Poland, I'd say definitely go there. But obviously understand, like, if you're bringing kids or if you're bringing a girlfriend, like, that shit's heavy.

Well, I know it's not Disney World or anything. No. Probably aren't any rides. Don't take any selfies. At both places, right? You know, Walt Disney probably would have enjoyed his trip there. He did. He was an anti-Semite.

Justin Bieber went there, I think, and he said, Anne Frank would have been a Belieber. I believe that was when he went to the Anne Frank Museum in Amsterdam. Oh, okay. My mistake. Everyone gave him a hard time for it. And then he explained himself.

And he's like, well, they said that she was into pop culture. And I assumed if she was into pop culture like now, she might have been into Justin Bieber. And I thought about it and it was like, you know, that just sounds about right. That's like a joke you would keep private. Okay. It's not in good taste.

You wouldn't tweet that to your 10 million followers we like yo this is funny dude i was talking to chiz about we were looking at amsterdam for a possible trip and i was showing all the things that you can do there and rather than like focus on like the drugs and prostitution i was looking for like historical stuff and yeah well i can recommend you a few i can give you and i'm sure and i was looking at like i don't know a lot of the architecture there is just beautiful it's like nothing that we have come check out one of my houses uh i'll show you oh okay and and i was like oh and the anne frank museum i would like to go to that and he was like ah

what a downer and i'm like well come on we'll go there we'll get all depressed and then we'll go to one of those places you want to go and get get our get happy again right like like i want to see that red light district where they're just like women in the windows like like mannequins just beckoning you in with their nudity i don't want it i don't want the anne frank museum and the red light district to be on the same day of the trip no i feel like that because if i were at the Red Light District first, I'd be thinking like, oh man, like this is, I have to go to the Anne Frank Museum after this, that's going to be a downer.

And if I did it afterward, I'd be like, who are you to just fuck this hot, you know, European chick when Anne Frank House is so sad? Well here's the thing. At least make it one Friday, one Saturday. During the day, you do the museums. And then, you know, you eat some of the mushrooms or smoke some of the good stuff. And then you do the rest. Can you take mushrooms legally? No, but you can take truffles, yeah.

You can buy truffles. What does a truffle do? Like, almost the same as a mushroom, but you're less likely to jump off, like, out of roots or something like that. What does a mushroom do? Is that just like a weed candy? Like a weed truffle? No, no, no, no. Psychedelic hallucinogenic experience.

Yeah, I was just going to say, you guys are not familiar with this. Okay, so it's, like, very psychedelic. Like, I don't know if you can explain it. Most people are very bad at describing their high. So when I find someone who's good at it, I latch on to it and just keep repeating the same thing about joy in every raindrop. Okay. Okay. I can – like I've only done weed.

Theoretically. Fair enough. Right? Theoretically. I mean, I'm Dutch. I'm an adult. I can say that, right? But I haven't done any other drugs, right?

So, hypothetically, if you ate, you know, an eighth of mushrooms, all the colors would seem much more bright and vibrant, like when you turn your television saturation up to an uncomfortably high level, so that greens in particular seem like green fire to some extent. Depth perception becomes skewed so that things that are at arm length seem much closer. But you can still grab them and stuff. It just seems things seem magnified in a way that's difficult to describe.

You'd be a little bit tipsy, almost like you've had a few beers and, you know, maybe your equilibrium's off, and you get a little giggly. Everything seems not so important and fun, but in particular, things are beautiful, all things, especially if you're out on a hike or something, like seeing like a beautiful mountain range in nature and that sort of thing. It's absolutely beautiful. And if you were to eat, say, a quarter ounce of mushrooms, you might start seeing some things. You might start seeing some streamers that look like if you've got a sparkler and a little bit comes off of it, except it doesn't just die right away.

It's sort of at the peripheral of your vision, kind of going off and doing stuff. But they won't be just bright yellow. They'll be the colors of the things you're looking at, perhaps. So you might see some yellows and blues in the sky and some greens and browns if you're looking at the ground. It could hypothetically be a bizarre, frightening experience though as well.

Hypothetically, you could really have a nightmare that seems inescapable for several hours in which after it's over, you're just thankful to be alive again. Again. Hypothetically. Because for a while, hypothetically, you thought

you were going to die. Hyp hypothetically yeah would this be following the joyous part like that was the hypothetically the down or like another time didn't work out things might not be joyous is what i'm saying like some people have like a scary type reaction uh and uh and things just go really poorly for them like oftentimes when people take it they will get a person who's going to be sober the whole time to sort of babysit them until i and to like look after them and be the one to like bring them warm milk and be like it's okay everything's all right and meanwhile their eyeballs are popping out of their head and floating away like balloons while they're explaining it okay okay i just posted a a video

because hoodie asked a question you know like i don't know about these drug experiences and when i hear a good story i just latch on to it right and here's the thing hoodie um woody fuck i keep messing it up sorry one of my employees is called hoodie so okay here's the thing woody. You're an adult, but there are many kids out there who are wondering what it's like to take these drugs, right? So what the Dutch government did is they made a YouTube channel and they funded this YouTube channel and actually know the people who host it to take drugs and to film their experience and share it okay plus give tips for when you're using it and everything else okay so here's the YouTube channel it's called drugs lab very interesting and if you're ever wondering any type of drug what it's like to be high on it or what it's like

for someone else to be high on it go watch one of these videos this one I just linked as magic mushrooms, which can tie into this hypothetical story we're talking about right now. But they have the mushrooms, they have subtitles and everything, by the way. And they talk about, you know, how much to take and what it's like while taking it.

They even have a little, like, heartbeat monitor up there and stuff like that it's very fascinating like america would not do that america would say no mushrooms will kill you if you so much as look at them wrong and the drug dealer probably has a gun and he'll kill you too he probably doesn't even have real mushrooms he probably just wants to shoot you and and like this is the approach that american government takes and just say, you know, this thing is a class A drug. You'll likely get locked up in jail. Like nothing good happens if you even consider taking this. Yeah. So what the Dutch do, which I think is great, and I definitely think many more countries should do it. First of all, they say buying any type of drug is legal.

You can go up to somebody and go, hey, do you have any cocaine? Or I'm here to buy cocaine or follow up on a Craigslist ad and go and buy cocaine or magic mushrooms or whatever you want to buy. Right. And by doing so, it's a lot more of a good experience actually going to a drug dealer and buying something. You're not going to be imprisoned for it, right? And then second of all, they make selling the drugs illegal, of course. So the drug dealer is wrong here. The person buying the drugs, it's going to happen anyways, they say, right?

It doesn't matter how hard you fight it. People are going to buy drugs. People are going to use drugs. It doesn't matter how hard you fight it, people are going to buy drugs, people are going to use drugs. The second thing is they say you cannot be arrested for being on drugs in your own place or in private property. So that is really good in my eyes because let's say you're at a party and some people are doing cocaine and they're overdosing now what you see most of the time is they would dump him on the street and then call an ambulance and be like yo pick up this guy over there he's he's overdosing or they wouldn't even do that because they're scared that they're gonna figure out he did drugs and then he's gonna get arrested right yeah so in the netherlands if

somebody ods on coke you call the police police comes over or our ambulance comes over they don't care what kind of drugs he took right they're gonna try to save his life and afterwards they might you know give him a little flyer saying yo next time don't take too much cocaine right or they'll send him this video way to do it watch the video all right all right you have an 11 minute sentence you just said through the whole right there you go uh oh man is that better that's a great way to handle the drugs i think that's way better than us i just need to process it i i'm not saying it's worse i'm just like huh because you do want people not to take a lot of drugs right like that is a thing is a society if everyone ideally too many people are on coke or mushrooms or whatever it's probably bad for the

nation right um and and maybe i look i'm not coming from position of knowledge here but i Too many people are on Coke or mushrooms or whatever. It's probably bad for the nation, right? And maybe, look, I'm not coming from a position of knowledge here, but I might think that the more people who try mushrooms and cocaine, the more people who do too much mushrooms and cocaine, right? You know, every addict started off with the first hit. So this seems like it really opens the door to the first hit. But it's a lot more, you know, first of all, it's a lot more of a pleasant experience, right? You know when you're going to buy your pouch of cocaine, you're not going to get shot, right?

Because you know that experience, like you're there to just give your money and they know what they're doing doing is illegal but you know what you're doing is not illegal right they could still get you shot because they know that you're coming with cash right they know that this is a person of course cash but because it's so easily accessible because everybody's buying it everywhere it lowers the prices so now you you go and buy you know a little pack of cocaine for 10 bucks like you're not gonna get shot for 10 bucks right instead of i don't know what it is anywhere else, 200 bucks. Um, plus it's, it's a lot more, uh, you know, open for a conversation if it's all fine to use cocaine and it's all like, you can go to parties and talk to people about their drug experiences. And I have friends who openly go, yo, listen, I just took some of the craziest shit. You know what I mean?

friends who openly go yo listen i just took some of the craziest shit you know what i mean and then you learn from that and you see their behavior instead of making it very secretive and oh have you heard have you ever done cocaine no i've never met anybody who's done it let's go and buy it and then you've never seen a video of anybody on cocaine you don't know the risks you're not educated about it and versus where literally half of your friends have done it and they can share their experience with you plus they might know a good dealer uh if you really want to check it out plus you know that if it goes wrong um you know because you can google all about it how much it take and stuff that if it goes wrong you can just call an ambulance and say hey listen i'm overdosing on drugs or whatever yeah with with heroin in

particular there's a drug to counteract an overdose that's so effective that it's at counteracting the overdose that it's like magic like it's it's absurd like and that's a problem i i keep hearing in the u.s how it's becoming more and more prevalent that they're getting them out into ambulances and stuff so Because apparently someone can do a lethal dose of heroin and they can just pop them with this, and it's like epinephrine for a bee sting allergic reaction, where if you didn't intervene, the person's dead, but that little intervention instantly makes all the stuff subside.

Yeah, it just nullifies all the heroin, all the opiates. Taylor, did you take your rhino dick pills by any chance? No. I know you took one. I thought that I got some benefits from the rhino dick pill. I really do think I did. I absolutely did. Okay, what is it?

And for people that don't know, he was suspicious. He thought that it was not going to work. Wait, wait. What is a rhino dick pill? Kyle and I uh these bootleg fucking ridiculous dick pills off of amazon they misspell the world eject the word ejaculate on the back which isn't great but uh it looks cool it does look cool and kyle i haven't taken one yet kyle has it's supposed to be like a viagra style thing yeah it's supposed to be like over the counter i

guess viagra or cialis i felt like i was more easily aroused i felt that uh i i uh i had a a stronger harder erection and i i felt like uh you know the the second and third events were uh were were uh easier easier and uh and more powerful and uh and i don't know i i felt like i got some benefits and and maybe it's a placebo effect it's possible but i have four more so we'll continue to find out um are there any side effects no any did you get a side being extremely horny no and it wasn't extremely horny uh it's uh it effects that I noticed, certainly not any other than the ones I wanted. Yeah, fair enough. And these were fairly cheap.

Taylor found these on Amazon. It's called Rhino 50K. Four for $15, right? Five for $16 maybe. You guys got a referral fee or something? No, we need a referral. Oh, we should totally have a referral code when we do stuff like this, right? I mean, you know the Rhino 50k dick bill people The Chinese company that can't spell ejaculate No, it's gonna be like one be honest. It's a mortar and pestle mushing up stuff from his backyard

mushing up stuff from his backyard. A little bit of coke. Most likely they just put Viagra in there and rebranded it. It's possible. There could be anything in there. I keep hearing them say, so the newest theory on Jon Jones testing positive

for those steroids, and they say this for a couple reasons. One of them being like, he would have to be a fool to take the steroid that he tested positive for and then get busted for it because it's known to everyone that if he'd taken it that close to the fight that he was just gonna

test positive. They say that they use creatine to cut cocaine and that sometimes creatine is tainted with this steroid because they use the same machinery to mix the creatine as they do to mix those steroids. And they've found creatine contaminated with those steroids before.

So the theory is that he snorted some cocaine at his birthday party like 10 or 12 days before the fight that had been cut with creatine that was contaminated with steroids. And that's not John Jones people. That's like someone close to joe rogan telling him that that's what they believe i think he probably just took substances my money's on him taking steroids yeah and i know occam's razor yeah i like the way chael sun and put it chael sun and is like you know he's like i'm an expert in steroids like expert in steroids. I was caught with six things in my system, still the record. And he says he can look at a guy on weigh-in

and tell you which drugs he took. He's like, but I don't say anything until they get caught. That's the code. I'm just out fighters for taking steroids. T.J. Dillashaw. And he's like, what John Jones does is he takes a picture of himself at the start of training camp, looking fat and out of shape.

He doesn't even look like an athlete, let alone a professional athlete. And then 12 weeks later, he looks like Jon Jones, the world champion at 205. And he says, to me, he just outed himself. He just outed himself. He just demonstrated to the world that he is on steroids. You could work out for 12 weeks. You will not go from that to that without steroids. You won't. And I hear Chell Sonnen say this and I eat up every word of it. I mean, you can work out for 12 weeks and you got to see where Jon Jones starts and ends. It's outrageous. He goes way

out of shape between training camps. And like I said, he doesn't even look athletic. Yeah, I definitely agree on that portion, that he really makes an incredible progression throughout his training camp. Yeah, and he's been busted twice for different steroids now. Is he really just taking that much wild shit from all over the place like oh yeah gas station dick pills here uh creatine based cocaine over there and something like dude what are you putting in your body you get tested all the time yeah it seems like stupid to do that like you it's not a surprise they always test you yeah i i think uh Occam's Razor, like you said.

What is Occam's Razor exactly? Like the most obvious answer. The simplest solution is often the correct one. Did you see that there's rumors about Tyron fighting Diaz? Yes. Who do you pick in that fight? Woodley by anything he wants. Nate Diaz is not an elite fighter.

Nate Diaz is big, and he fought a guy coming out of 145. Heck, he was scheduled for 155. Then they fight at 170. He just has some attributes that made him particularly well-suited to Conor McGregor, so he beat him one out of two times. I think when he fights at 170 against Tyron Woodley, good Lord, like that is a mismatch. Tyron's a big boy,

but Nate is a lot more aggressive fighter than Tyron is. And I don't know, I could, everybody is. And I could see him catching him, but I think if they fight that fight 10 times, Tyron probably wins seven of them, or maybe eight. It'll be an interesting—I hope they put that fight together. I'd like to see it. Did you see Conor jumping into the ring at Bellator?

It was a huge controversy. Can I lay out what happened? Or do you want to? If you know how, because it's complicated. Here's what happened. So Conor has a friend in the fight uh he's not in his corner or anything i think he's in the audience but like front row and his friend seemingly knocks out the other guy but it's at the very end of the round right so uh he's he's

they call it like shark in the water right the other guy is wobbling and he's going out and Connor's friend is just finishing him. The ref, because the crowd is going wild for this, can't hear the bell. But 10 seconds before the bell, they do this slapping thing and he knew that the bell was about to go. Well, the ref thinks he missed the bell. So he jumps in there to break up the fight,

thinking that the bell must have gone off without me hearing it. It turns out the ref broke up the fight just like a second or two early, right? So while the fighter in the ref's head was saved by the bell, to everyone else, it looks like the ref broke it up

before the bell rang because he did. And that's what you would do if you were ending the fight and saving the fighter so connor inappropriately jumps over the cage and starts i think he jumps on his own his like friend teammate guy like sort of a like a hug a girl would give like hugs with their arms and legs at the same time and uh and he's very excited and he's screaming and the ref is like connor you gotta go this fight's not over you know i was signaling end of round not end of fight you don't belong in here and connor is flipping out now connor's side of the story is um this fight was clearly over a different fighter friend of connor's was in a fight like last year, 18 months ago, something like that. That guy killed his opponent, right? So Conor is like, you cannot like get this guy who's like still, I think,

sitting back in this fight. But the ref is like, ah, but this fight ends when I say it is. And then he did say it was like once he evaluated the losing fighter a little better, he, you know, he said this fight's over. But Conor is cursing out the ref. He has some, I forget the details of it, but he has a previous problem, like frustration with the ref. So Conor sees it and he's like,

it's you? It's fucking you? Conor's very upset with the ref. Conor's all coked up, by the way. Okay. I don't know this. Very aggressive! Yeah, well well he was very aggressive and and I think he even threatened the ref physically I know he threatened the ref physically with the cocaine 15 minutes later he did like that I think is on camera but um yeah so Connor jumped in when he wasn't supposed to he wasn't in the corner he wasn't anything the fight wasn't

even over yet the ref was still making his decision on that. And then when the ref addressed Conor and told him to go away and stuff, I think Conor pushed the ref hard and threatened to kick his ass and did so again later. And Conor just looked really out of control.

Conor was wrong and he came off as entitled to me, too. Like, you know, I don't know. It's something to do with fighting. I can jump in any ring. I can do here. I'm the man is what I thought I saw.

I think Conor deserves special treatment because I heard they took him off a December card that he was going to be on. Who was he rumored to fight? Do you remember? No clue. Connor versus? No clue. I don't think that was even out there yet, but they were going to find him in a moment.

Oh, Ferguson maybe? Could have been. Yeah, so they do like a New Year's Eve card, but it's not usually literally New Year's Eve. It's before or after, like for Saturday. And that's usually one of those Super Bowl UFC cards. There's two or three a year that really stand out. so i think they need to be careful connor they need to like remember when ronda came back for to after to fight um amanda nunez and they they're like

they didn't make her do the press and they let her be in seclusion and whatever she needed to be to be concentrated they need to treat connor disproportionately well to everyone else or he's gonna go off and fight oscar de la jolla and make another you know 10 or 20 million dollars you might be right yeah you saw oscar calling him out being like i'm ready to go you know i'm in training yeah oscar de la jolla is like, I can take Conor in two rounds. How old is Oscar? He's old. He said, I know that if I got in the cage with me, he'd destroy me. But in the ring, I can take him out in two rounds.

I'm training now. I can be ready to go. Let's do this. And you know it'd be another. 44. 44, yeah. So you know, Conor, go fight Oscar De La Hoya and not get elbowed in the fucking head and beaten

to the ground potentially which is what might happen if he fights a Tony Ferguson or a Khabib Nurmagomedov or any of those guys who knows anything can happen in that cage you can go take a nice little light tapping with those big fucking gloves on I mean it's a beating but it's not MMA it's

he might win I don't know you it's he might win and it's a 44 he might win you know why he might win at 44 because they don't drug test like the ufc does so he'll have the testosterone levels of an 18 year old going into that thing he's young he's older than me actually he's 15 days older so i mean that's pretty significant i think it's pretty significant and and my honest opinion about the the mayweather fight was that if Conor had had, let's call it, four more months to train, I think he could have won. I feel like his cardio is just, he needs better cardio. And I feel like maybe he could have gotten it if he'd had more months and months to train. He just ran out of gas.

And it was clear to me, especially in retrospect, I guess, now it's clear me that like those first five rounds or whatever that i think connor won like three of that he wasn't putting all the mustard he could on those punches he was pacing himself it seemed like even that uppercut that uh connor well i'm both of them i have the opposite opinion yeah my i mean i could be wrong but the way I saw it was this. One, I don't think Conor gets a bigger gas tank in a couple of months. I think that Conor's an elite athlete, and he came in there in amazing shape with all he had. What he didn't do right in that fight was pace himself.

And if you hear him credit Mayweather afterwards, he's like he was very crafty. He saved his energy. He waited. He let Conor punch himself out, while Mayweather sort of didn't expel as much energy and then somewhere around round three or four they changed it uh it you know boxing ring is a terrible place to be exhausted and uh mayweather made him pay for

it that that's how i see it i didn't feel like connor was ever hitting hard throughout the entire fight i never i didn't feel like he ever threw a really hard punch uh at all to me he blew his water early and he was wasting energy like he took mayweather's back i don't even know seven times during that fight that doesn't help you in boxing you know like he they'd lock up and he'd get around to the back and he'd hold it and then the rest would immediately break it up and it's like connor what are you doing there's a lot of wasted energy yeah there's so many things i didn't like about that fight like like i i wanted i hated that the way that mayweather would just turn away and bend over like i i don't know if you saw that uh that reddit gif a while back that it was titled like what when boxing gets a little gay and uh both fighters took each other's

backs and like the first i did see the other one it wasn't the other one yeah completely different fighters um but but one guy kind of takes the other guys back there they're standing and he like gives him a a thrust like he's fucking him in the butt and like so hard that it forces the guy forward and the crowd's like whoa and then like the opposite happens where i think it was a mexican fighter the mexican fighter takes the other guys back and he gives him a thrust and it's like, that's not how you get even when somebody gives you a little butt fuck. Maybe punch him in the back of the head.

If we're fighting dirty, let's fight dirty, right? But I'm not going to give him a retaliatory butt thrust. That's totally what it was. Oh, you're going to make me look gay? I'll make you look gay. See, I'm the dominant one dominant on the top establishing my dominance that's what this is about right now it's like taylor in elementary school uh do you think maybe the reason that connor was taking his back so often was just like

maybe like a public show for from him being like, if I wanted to, I could beat the shit out of him right now. Almost like a little passive way of him showing even though he can beat me in boxing, if this were a street fight, if they suddenly said, no more rules, fight! I'd beat him.

Because he seems like an arrogant enough guy that he would do that just to show. It felt like instinct from years of training that style it felt like it was just like he sees he's just wrapping him up you know and you know when they get in the clinch they sort of wrap each other up anyway and the thing was mayweather's turning his back to connor to get away from from the inside work that annoyed me the way mayweather turned away that i need to see it again in my head connor was taking the back it wasn't so way Mayweather turned away. I need to see it again. In my head, Conor was taking the back. It wasn't so much Mayweather giving it. Mayweather kept...

Even the announcer was like, he can't keep doing this because Mayweather would just turn around, put his butt to Conor and bend over. He's like, he can't keep doing that. He's got to stop that. And I hated that part about the fight and I really hated that ref that that opening speech

from the ref to where where he's like looking at connor he's like you can't do this and don't be doing that and don't be doing this and it just felt like it was a two-on-one from the start you know that was annoying yeah so it looks like that incident where he went in the cage and misbehaved is getting him off of the card. So I guess he's not going to fight in MMA in 2017. I wonder how much that will hurt him. I mean, he's got plenty of money. Oh, you mean like his capacity to fight in the future. Yeah, I do.

Yeah, yeah. I'm not worried about his finances. He seems okay. Although I do wonder a little. Like people worry about Mayweather's finances. Mayweather made more money off that fight. Mayweather's had a career of tons and tons of money. But I keep using the same

line. This motherfucker books a separate private jet for his luggage when he goes places, right? It's one thing to not fly first class and again go private jet. It's another to have another jet for your luggage? Yeah, that's beyond frivolous. You don't even wear a shirt when you're doing your job.

So, yeah, like Dana White looks at him and says, this guy wastes a lot of money. And Dana White has a racetrack at his house. Yeah. And crazy cars. Dana White has a real racetrack at his house? He does. That's pretty cool. Yeah. That wouldn't be my big blowout choice.

I would build an actual functional ice hockey rink NHL size, obviously. But a huge... That'd be way fucking cheaper than a racetrack, though. I don't know. I bet maintenance fees on a racetrack are pretty low.

Maintenance on the ice rink would be a bitch. Well, I'd move to like fucking Minnesota or something where the cold folks are and then it wouldn't be as expensive. Do outdoor ice rinks have... I guess they do have Zambonis, but every time I've ever skated outdoors,

the ice was like land of a thousand tiny bumps. Oh, like choppy and just shit? It's not like an indoor... Then it wasn't natural ice. It wasn't natural ice in the netherlands go on it all smooth it's smooth i think maybe it melts a lot then or something i don't know well there are a lot of people skating around playing hockey on their on your perfect ice nobody plays hockey that's so weird it's cold in there that you can play.

They just go ice skating in labs and stuff. So you guys got halfway there to the fun part of ice skating and then you're like, no, frankly, there's a lot of hitting and those Canadians are pretty violent. You're talking about the ice skates which are as big as your feet. I'm talking about the big...

Oh, speed skating. Right, speed skating. Exactly. That's great. It's fun to watch, but it sounds exhausting. Have you done that before, Webb? Yeah, yeah. I've never tried. Do you like it? It's pretty big. Yeah, it's great. We just call it ice skating, right? But like I was saying, we would go to these places where the big nature places where all the water would freeze up like a big lake or whatever. And then everybody is just going on crazy big laps or you're adventurous and you go out in like a little side river.

And then all of a sudden the ice starts cracking under you and it's all black, like super transparent, right? It's pretty cool. Pretty scary too. It It's pretty cool. Pretty scary, too. It's fun. Pretty adventurous. We were usually pretty careful to make sure that the ice was okay before we played Pond Hockey. Yeah, but you're like, okay, well, there's five inches of ice on this side, right? Or whatever.

And then you know the rest should be fine, too. But you don't really know. So what you do the rest should be fine too but you you don't really know so what you do is you carry like one of these these picks with you just in case you fall in the ice and then you can pull yourself out because your friends are not going to do anything they're just gonna go yeah i would help but i am so high and then you drink chocolate milk afterwards or something that's pretty fun so i was thinking about our inevitable uh las vegas trip or nevada trip i think because i want to be outside the city limits for obvious reasons i think it would be fun to stream uh some sort of

event where we have these ladies of the night and uh i joked on reddit that it'd be fun i would like no we'd stream it from twitch my favorite porn site but inevitably they kick you off twitch when things got a little bit too raunchy but we could we could totally stream it on like an adult chatterbait and i was thinking have you ever seen i know what you have because you've seen it's always sunny but when when they have the asian lady who's covered in who she's naked on the table and covered in sushi yeah i have seen that i would want to do that and and in some way like the audience would get pieces of her taken off and and i was thinking of like ways to make it silly and funny by getting like a real big fat chick and covering her with like fried chicken

ah well but we're still going to be eating these things, Kyle. Someone will be eating them. It would be easy to get a couple of PKA fans to come to this ridiculous event, and they would eat the chicken. That's fair. Oh, how about this? You know how they have pie-eating contests?

Each contestant would have a fat woman covered in fried chicken, and they would have to, as quickly as possible, get the chicken off of her and eat it. And we would see which one could get the woman to take it. Hands tied behind their back. Yep. And then you just place your finished bones in the convenient disposal slot. So speaking of eating chicken, one of my good friends, he just did a brand deal sponsorship with KFC, which is great, obviously.

And you get paid for that, which is nice. But on top of that, on top of his pay, he also got a KFC black card. So he can go to any KFC, as far as I know, and just get as much chicken as he wants. Now, here's the joke. No, no, no. Lifetime. Now, here's the joke. No, no, no. Lifetime. Now, here's the joke. He's vegetarian.

Okay, well, then give that to someone who cares. Is it transferable? Like, could he sell it? So I was talking to him about it, and no, you cannot sell it because then they'll block it. But I'm like, well, if you're out with some friends and stuff, you're always going to be the cool guy getting chicken for everybody, right? And then you can get your vegetarian burger.

Mashed potato. I didn't know there was a KFC black card. Do all KFC employees know about this? Domino's or Pizza Hut. They swipe it in the machine, and I'm sure it says $0. Yeah, I'm sure that's what they do. And then they just get reimbursement from whatever corporate office issued it.

That's amazing. Yeah, because I know about the Burger King ones because I know Robert Downey Jr. has one and a number of celebrities have those Burger King black cards. I wouldn't want one for Burger King. I don't like Burger King. I don't care. I just want a black card for anything.

I would rather have Burger King than KFC. Toilets. Toilet paper black card i i won't degrade kfc anyways and or anything but i would prefer burger king to kfc that flame you're crazy whopper that flame broiled whopper is where do you want your black card okay first choice churches verse uh verse your your burger kings. I would take churches over Burger King. If it has to be a fast food black card, I would probably go... I don't know if Chick-fil-A counts.

I would certainly prefer Chick-fil-A. That would be my number one. I think McDonald's has some good food now. I used to say that McDonald's doesn't eat enough food. McDonald's has good stuff. The signature sandwiches... That makes me has good stuff. The signature sandwiches. That makes me laugh when you call them signature sandwiches. That's what they call them. They legitimately are very good sandwiches.

They're better than anything you've ever had at McDonald's. And their buttermilk chicken tenders are excellent. And their french fries, of course, as everyone knows, are very, very good. So I would go McDonald's. I haven't given McDonald's a chance in a long, long time. I sometimes have an Egg McMuffin because they're open super early in the day. Every once in a while, I'll do a paramotor thing, and I'll be up at 5 a.m., and that's a nice way to start.

Have you had the McGriddle? No. I don't go off-menu very much. It's on the menu. It's on the menu. It's a combo. I think maybe it's the number three. But it's on the menu it's on the menu it's it's a combo i think maybe it's the number three but it's it's on the fancy side of the menu kyle let me tell you if it hasn't been around for 22 years i don't know i like woody stick to the bottom right corner i pick from the

cheap things and like amalgamate my own meal you know so there are two kinds of mcgriddles there's the bacon egg and cheese and the sausage egg and. I get one of each because I'm not a chooser. I want them both. The bun, if you will, for the McGriddle are two miniature pancakes somewhat soaked in maple syrup. They're not sticky. This is a ridiculous meal

already. I'm not getting this. Two pancakes about the size of a biscuit, but they taste and smell delicious, like maple syrup. An Egg McMuffin is already wildly cheating. I'm not going to replace the fucking muffin with maple syrup-soaked pancakes. That's ridiculous. It's so good.

I don't even like the maple syrup-smoked pancakes. Like, I would prefer to have the regular kind of biscuit, like the crumbly, dry, buttery, not really super sweet. The sweetness of the McGriddle, it's like the way they came up with that sandwich is they surveyed a fucking bunch of second graders. They're like, oh this is great! Is there enough sugar in it? I love it, it gives me energy! I'm a big boy now, I'm gonna go pee all over the bathroom! Yeah, like, that's why it's my choice. But you're right about the black card for McDonald's because just think about the location aspect of it. No matter where you are, no matter what time it is, you get the food.

You get the breakfast. You get the dinner menus. And you get like they have some pretty good stuff, too. We're talking not just the burgers, but like drinks. Think drinks, right? You have these machines. You can get any type of pop or soda whatever you want you can get some orange juice coffees right teas they have like the mccafe line

now where they have like macchiatos and cappuccinos and stuff like all kinds of fancy coffee you get all the ice cream you want i want to change my answer to subway because they have just as many locations as mcdon McDonald's and you could rationalize eating there more often. Yeah, nothing like watching a... And you're going to be like, I feel like a piece of shit. But Subway, you can at least get a six-inch turkey

sandwich. Fuck that. I don't want to watch some minimum wage employee prepare my sandwich through a sneeze guard. Every time I go into Subway, I'm a little grossed out by the end of the sandwich making process. Subway attracts such a white trash crowd, there is an entire

category of YouTube montages called Subway Freakouts, where people lose their fucking shit in Subway. There's not one for McDonald's or Taco Bell. There might be one for Walmart. And Kmart. Walmart, Kmart, Target, Target, all those places. But specifically Subway, I watched the other day.

People like lose their shit. Like, you touched my sandwich without gloves. You should be wearing gloves. Did you put salt on my sandwich? Like people just losing their shit. Like a grandpa arguing over the cost of cookies. I lose my shit. Or not lose my shit.

But nothing makes me more upset than being in line it's a subway in Chipotle or Qdoba or whatever where this happens most where you some mongoloid philistine jackass idiot someone who should be in a circle of hell not the deepest but like one of the middling ones yeah like where they they can't just point through the glass and say, or just use their words. I don't point at things that I want at Subway because I'm 26 and I say, I'd like lettuce on my, I'd like tomatoes, I'd like jalapenos and they do it.

It's crazy how that works. The people who go like this and they reach over and they point down at the actual food, you know, like sneeze scars here. And they like look over like, yeah, I want lettuce, and I want tomatoes, and I want, or if they're at Chipotle, like, I want beef. No, not that beef, not that beef.

I don't want that. I want this salsa. And it's like, I just want to be like, who the fuck raised you? What the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you think this is okay? Do you notice how nobody before you put their hands over the glass and pointed at the food directly you fucking idiot? Like your little skin flakes are now all over the broiled chicken

Because you don't think the person making your burrito smart enough to go. Oh chicken Do I go into the one chicken container you prefer to only eat the skin? You're clearly here all the time You're gonna have to tone down with the Mexican supplements because you're getting roid rage at keokuk just tell the nice woman what you'd like she'll do it you know you start crying uncontrollably i think i go with the pizza hut black card i don't eat at many of these places very much but i ate at pizza hut when i broke my leg because I couldn't travel or anything. I was in a hotel in Reno or something. That whole fucking cheese injected crust technology is amazing.

I'm blown away by how much you're impressed by the stuffed crust because I remember being 12 when this came out and sitting at a sleepover seeing a commercial for new Domino's stuffed crust pizza. I was just like, Mrs. Stevens, Mrs. Stevens, can we get Domino's stuffed crust pizza?

She's like, I guess so, boys. Then we did that and we played N64 all night. It was great, but you bringing it up a couple weeks ago, I'm like, man, what? You didn't know about stuffed crust pizza? It is really, really like you bring it up a couple weeks ago. I'm like man what you didn't know about stuffed crust pizza It is really really good To a new level though. It's like someone talking about how cool text messaging is Just type and just send it and it's done. I don't end up on some long boring phone call

Can you guys text anyway running the post news of like 9 11 like that was that was real like that was recent news when stuffed crust pizza you know came on i'm a huge fan yeah i i feel when i tell people how good stuffed crust pizza is in my heart it's a public service announcement. Like, people need to know about this. It's really good. It's news to me that everyone else knew all this time. And where were your public service announcements, huh? You guys could have hooked me up with this knowledge.

Pizza Hut did it themselves with their ad campaign. I don't see it. And still continues. Well, you did back in the late 90s when the pizza came out. Yeah. It's weird how little people, like, I don't know what movies are out. You almost need advertisements to learn a little bit about popular culture. Otherwise, things like Stuffed Crust Pizza come and go and you had no idea. I rarely go to – I haven't been to a movie in probably a year, like to a theater.

And you're right. Like I have – and I don't watch commercials on TV. I just use Roku. And so at any point, I have no idea what movies are coming out or what's in theaters unless I see it on Twitter or unless I actively seek it out. My son knows. The movie subreddit a lot. So I'm always kind of up to date on that. I really enjoy the movie subreddit.

I was going to go to Justice League today, but we had PKA, so I had to cancel. I'm not going to Justice League because Rotten Tomatoes. It's not certified fresh. Well, they delayed their review with some sort of backdoor secret handshaking faggotry, right? Like somebody paid off 36. Yeah, it's like 10 PKAs in a row. He said that he dropped the F on it. It's out now, though. It's out now. 36. Like somebody paid off 36 36% It's out now though 36%

Nobody minds faggotry, that's okay Is it the R-Y at the end that make it okay? It's like egg and nigga It's a totally different word It's the same rhetorical trick It's like you added two E's as well I thought Wonder Woman That's the bad guy in Walking Dead It's like you added two E's as well. I thought Wonder Woman was great.

That's the bad guy in Walking Dead. Get over here, my deacon. I'm glad you brought up Walking Dead. Let's do Walking Dead after we look at this Rotten Tomatoes thing. I was just going to say, Wonder Woman was great. Loved the movie. I thought it was really, really good. But then Batman vs. Superman the movie. I thought it was really, really good. But then Batman versus Superman, horrible. And I went to the premiere. I was there like red carpet with the actors and stuff.

And it was like I was hoping because I was reading some reviews. I was hoping that that experience would be like, oh, yeah, this movie is crazy, right? But it was not good at all. I wish that you guys would join my so far one-man superhero movie boycott, where I'm not going to the movies again until they start making something

fucking else. Go watch Thor. No, he's a superhero. And he's not even one of the good ones. Or as far as I... He is in the man he is yeah i don't know i'm just so fucking tired of superhero movies so it's been years and that's all that they pump out it feels like i think the good superhero movies are great right but then you

have zach schneider or whatever his name is he does Batman v Superman which is dog shit and then and then somebody else does Wonder Woman and you're like oh finally somebody with a brain is making these movies and then they bring out Justice League and then you hear you're back at 36% yeah it's it's not going anywhere I like the Batman movies. Those were good. Well, you're talking about the... The Bane and the Joker. Yeah. Those were great. No, they're terrible.

No, they're great. Those ones are terrible? Those are the only kinds of movies I like. The third Nolan Batman movie is such horseshit. Go to the end of that movie. The climax of the Batman Nolan trilogy. Is that the Bane one? Yes.

The climax of the Batman Nolan trilogy. Is that the Bane one? Yes. It's so absurdly cringeworthy when Batman and his group of club-wielding citizens take on Bane and his group of thugs with fisticuffs in the streets of New York. And nobody's got a handgun. And Batman doesn't even beat Bane. Fucking Catwoman or whatever flies in with a motorcycle and penetrates him from the rear. It was awful. Tell me more.

The second Batman movie with Heath Ledger is the winner. It's very good. I think everybody agrees on that. The first one is just okay. It's just okay. I think they're better than you think they are. I need to see the third one again and see if it looks ridiculous. Yeah, it is ridiculous the third one had like a gangs of new york feel in that final battle except the gangs of new york feel was really really cool and the final battle there

was like it's so unrealistic it's like unless new york gun control laws really are working what i remember i think a couple of them would have a piece i wish i could remember the details of it but i felt like there was a giant plot hole like batman didn't have to semi-kill himself to solve this problem like there was a better way to dispose of the bomb or something isn't that what he does he flies away with the bomb autopilot well he escapes because he wants to leave you know his superhero life behind so he flies the bomb out in the ocean, detonates it, and then he goes to France to live with his girlfriend. Coward.

The Walking Dead is utter shit. It is one of the worst shows. Click that gif and watch one of the recent scenes from this week's Walking Dead. Walking Dead is so infuriatingly stupid and low

budget. None of the characters' actions make sense. They're dragging through the storyline slow as fuck, and the gun effects... First of all, the guns don't cycle. This is CGI. These aren't even squibs. Absolutely. And if you look closely, the bolt on that M14 isn't

even moving, okay? He's just... He's not really shooting it. He's just pointing it, and they're inserting, and waving left to right, and they're inserting muzzle flash, which is outrageously overblown and fake-looking, and they're inserting sparkles on that truck,

because the truck's, of course, not getting struck with anything, let alone the point that that's a 7.62x51mm round that would go right through both ends of that truck, through Carroll, and then hit the wall behind her. It probably wouldn't sparkle when it does it. It wouldn't sparkle a bit. It wouldn't sparkle

even a little. I've machine-gunned many a fucking car, and I've never seen a spark yet. Ever. Once. Not never. Ever. Have I seen a spark? Ever. It doesn't fucking happen. I'm glad you're here because you truly are an expert on this subject. And there's not that many of them. It's absurd.

Also, why is he shooting like this? Like, you can clearly see under the car from his position. You'd be like, oh, he's at the tire. And the crazy thing is, he was shooting all the time, didn't pop a single tire. Or a window. Didn't break a window. Well, a window, like halfway through. This was not the most unrealistic

scene in that episode, however, because 20 minutes later, Rick and Daryl are chasing after a Humvee with a Browning M2.50 caliber belt-fed machine gun in the back mounted on a tripod

facing to the rear and the guy operating it fails to hit daryl he sprays the ground at daryl's feet which would mean he's shooting under him and then when daryl crashes his motorcycle because i guess he got scared didn't even make sense he just crashes it because he never got hit um He starts shooting at Rick, who's in a shitty Jeep. With a glass windshield. No roof, maybe. The bullets bounce off of the windshield and the radiator. 50 cal.

And make little sparkles. Yeah, 50 cal, 700 grain, high velocity rounds that will penetrate through so much shit, it's absurd. They'll shoot through an entire house, okay? I mean, like, you got a 3,000 square foot house with half a dozen walls in it. They're going through all of them and out the other side and killing four people. Like, they're absurd.

Quad! Sorry. And he doesn't have a rifle. He has a rifle. It's a machine gun firing them at like 600 rounds per minute he misses them both all every shot worry because daryl has his 410 uh shotgun pistol i don't remember which one he had i don't think it's the judge he had the other one and he pulls it out he pulls it out and with one shot kills the man operating the machine gun who could not hit him with said machine gun,

even though he's taking a knee in the back of a truck stabilized with a machine gun. And Daryl pulls out the pistol while riding the bike, shoots him with one shot and kills him. Rick pulls up alongside the military Humvee that's being driven by this gentleman, and like something from a soap opera, jumps from his vehicle into that guy's vehicle, stabs him in the belly and takes the wheel, then crashes the thing, careening into a ravine. But don't worry, because Rick just hopped out, I guess, and fell into some soft grass. He was wearing a seatbelt.

It was so unbelievably stupid. Okay. It's frustrating me at how dumb this is and you're just describing it to me. I haven't even seen it. Everything Kyle said is,

I couldn't agree more. But I've got something to add to it. Last season, we had 16 episodes worth of building towards the action. So we went a whole year

with no action, just bullshit, whiny drama, we're so beaten, we're sad, whatever. This year, it appears that we're going to have 16 episodes of unrealistic combat, because that's what the first, are we at four? I think we're at four episodes that have just been all unrealistic combat, wall to wall. So it's like they responded to our, hey, we don't have enough action with, oh, well, now you're getting 16 episodes of action, but the action is stupid.

And it. Now let's talk about the tiger. Shiva the tiger, the at least 600 pound Bengal tiger. Good CGI, though, I think. Passable CGI. Better than that deer they had about three seasons ago. Remember the deer? Yeah.

Oh, I'll never forget the deer. The deer was one of the worst. Episode 561. I could have mocked up a better deer with 30 minutes at Michael's. There are YouTube videos with much better CGI. Freddie W. would have laughed at that deer. It was, that deer, that deer cost less than $5,000 to CGI up. That's a $1,500 deer.

It made no fucking sense. It was so repugnantly awful. The tiger's okay, especially in some scenes. Depending on how the tiger's shot, there was one point where it's sitting in the back of a truck, and I was like, that's good CGI. Anyway, the tiger gets... I know what happens in the comics, before anybody corrects me. I know that in the

comics it gets taken down by walkers, but it's a lot of walkers. In the show, I'm not exaggerating when I say ten walkers, and these aren't your regular zombies. These had been soaked in a creek that's contaminated with corrosive liquid. Their flesh is falling off of their bones.

They kill this tiger with their bare hands. They tear it to shreds, and it goes from a live fighting tiger to a dead tiger in less than 10 seconds. I agree with you. And as i was watching that scene i was recalling many many pka conversations we had and i'm like here's one where i think the tiger takes out the humanoids yeah they definitely would or they just the tiger could just run away right 10 people moving slowly with no brains against one tiger i'm on i'm on team tiger 10 regular people doing fisticuffs with a 600 pound tiger that tiger is gonna beat all 10 of them most likely yeah half of them are gonna run away the

other unless you start giving them weapons you know like this is time stamped this is time stamped for the death of the tiger um it is awful it is so stupid. This isn't the... This is the deer we're looking at. No, no, no. I link the deer. I link the deer. Below the deer should be the tiger. My Skype doesn't automatically scroll. So I don't know what to say.

I'm going to keep watching because I'm invested and I want to see where this is going. But the moment they do something that I don't like, like if Rick dies, I'm fucking turning this shit shit off forever it's just such fucking horse shit i'm only watching now to see rick finally kill negan with this hatchet that's coming it's gotta happen if rick doesn't kill it motherfucker with his hatchet then then it's just a real sad world and also the king i'm waiting on the king to get his head chopped off and put on a pike because they they could not have pref have like uh suggested that more heavily right there's a scene where they have the most over the

top mustache twiddling villain of all time in the show a ridiculous blonde character with large glasses captures the king and he's like i'm going to take you to Negan. You're a pathetic king. And for some reason, this guy has like a psychological, psychologist level insight into the king's mental situation at the time. It's like he's been the king's therapist over the last two seasons. He's like, you're not a real king at all, are you? You just pretend. Look at them. They're still following you you even though they're dead

and and just he's like oh well i was gonna uh take you back to negan but i guess your head will look good on a pike and he raises the sword i like it when they do that so i can think of another instance too when um negan was punishing what is our gang called? Rick's Club. Whatever. The good guys. The terrorists. So when Negan was punishing the stars of the shows and you didn't know what he was going to do, who he was going to kill, they take a sharpie and they draw

it across his hand. Now in the comics, Rick lost his hand a long time ago. So you always wonder if that's going to catch up because sometimes things sync up after the fact and he's there ready to chop off rick's hand i was like oh this is a little cool back a little call back to the comics you don't know how this is going to go down and like kyle pointed out the king he gets his head chopped off and put on a pike not by negan by the the next group of bad guys the whispers or something. And so you're like,

oh, he's going to chop his head off and put it on a pike. That's kind of a, that happens in the comics, not in this order, but it makes it more reasonable, you know? Yes.

Sometimes they follow the comics. Sometimes they don't. Yeah. I could go on about like various scenes just in this most recent episode. They were absurd. Like, of course there's the part where Carol is in a confrontation with those two remaining bad guys and instead of shooting uh under the vehicle she she makes some sort of deal with them there's the scene where carol teleports

into a ceiling somehow and then like i don't know if you've ever been in a ceiling like one of those panel ceilings or even like looked up there there's nowhere to fucking stand but she's able to accurately fire this arc of ak-47 fire that takes out i want to say four maybe five individuals from a blind blind shooting through what is to her a ceiling but it's to them a ceiling tiles those bullshit ceiling tiles that you could like break like karate kid you know like like they're absurdly the thing that holds the ceiling is on like safety wire or something right and yeah you can't support a human yeah i've i've been up there like like like i've had that type of drop ceiling in my building and i was over there yesterday because

a couple of ceiling tiles needed replacing and i was like yep no way to get up there we had that kind of ceiling in our kitchen in apex like a drop like an office type style ceiling and yeah they're just like if i were to try to do a pull-up on it it would just bullshit. We had that kind of ceiling in our kitchen in Apex, like a drop, like an office-type style ceiling. And yeah, if I were to try to do a pull-up on it, it would just break and crumble. Like, it's not even a close call. Yeah, and if you were able to somehow balance your weight on those beams, there'd be like a big sag that everybody would, there'd be noise

and stuff, and of course, like, she got up there lickety-split off-camera in a way that, like, I'm okay with Carol being a guerrilla warfare badass. I can buy into that. I'm okay with it. I really am.

This isn't some anti-girl power rant. It's that she got up there like she was John Wick. No, John Wick wouldn't have been so unrealistic with this. He would have just walked in there and taken everybody out. What did you think of John Wick? Have you seen the movie? Is it gun coney, sir? Yeah, I'm okay with John Wick. I like John Wick for a lot of reasons.

The hand-to-hand combat is great. They're utilizing jiu-jitsu, wrestling, judo throws, legitimate striking that's boxing-type striking, just regular old Muay Thai striking and stuff like that. Legitimate hand-to-hand stuff that you'd see in real life in a mixed martial arts type environment. Because, if you watch the behind the scenes, he's getting that type of training from professionals. And then the gunplay, it's over the top. It's a little bit ridiculous occasionally. But it's so accurate most of the time that I'm perfectly okay with it.

It's certainly not like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando where he's taking down swaths of enemies like he's mowing the lawn. He's moving quickly. He's moving correctly. He's positioning his body right. He's reloading. And he's always going for headshots when he can. So he's actually turning these people off like a light switch.

I like John Wick a lot. I have a gun movie question. I don't know the name of it. That's the first thing I need help with. It might have dead in the title, like Deadeye or something. There's a black guy. He's a cowboy. They seem to be from different dimensions,

and he never misses a shot. Dark Tower, written by Stephen King. Is that it? No, that's it. He uses a revolver, and he can reload it in the air. It's Iris Elbow playing that guy, and Matthew McConaughey plays the victim. I haven't seen it, but I'm on the movie subreddit.

Is it out? I had it in my head it came out last year. It's out. It's out for rental now because it did very poorly in theaters. Matthew McConaughey is apparently a laughable villain who seems a bit like a transsexual, not in his acting, but just from his appearance. And Idris Elba does this pretty cool reload on his revolver where he it's uh you know it's a it's the type where the the cylinder pops out to the side

and he spins the the cylinder and then he rapidly drops the bullets in as it spins and uh that's the coolest part of the of what i've seen of that i thought i saw in the trailer he threw the six bullets in the air and hooked it with his gun yeah that happens at one point too yeah thought i saw in the trailer he threw the six bullets in the air and hooked it with his gun yeah that happens at one point too yeah yeah i saw that i i think that's neat but of course you know not real i think he's supposed to be like a trans-dimensional being who's like the greatest gun you know he's superhuman so i'm okay with that see see it's not that i i want everything to be realistic 100 realistic like a cowboy could do it% realistic like a cowboy could do it, like a cop could do it, like some sort of professional shooter

could do it. Well, you'd never see that in the Olympics. Those aren't the rules we're playing by. But you have to play by the rules. The universe has rules. Even fictional ones. That's what I'm saying. Like, Lord of the Rings has rules. Walking Dead has rules. Game of Thrones has rules. Yeah, Walking Dead clearly doesn't have rules.

They're breaking the rules. Why did the tiger die? Like, literally, the tiger's being swarmed. That's like the perfect time for these humans to strike with their swords and chop down all these, you know, these walkers or whatever. Yeah, maybe so. Like, it's a little bait, and then you just go for it. But that's why I stopped watching it.

Yeah, I'm over there arguing with people on the Walking Dead subreddit. a little bait and then you just go for it but that's why i stopped watching it but just yeah i'm over there arguing with people on the uh the walking dead subreddit they're like they're like oh so you want uh realism from a show about zombies it's like no i want you to stick to the rules of your fictional universe yeah you're right like that you were the right one in this argument you were totally right yeah it's like like said, you know, this Walking Dead universe has rules and they need to follow them. Carol is not superhuman. None of these characters are able to dodge bullets. The king is not supposed to heal from a browning shot so that he goes from completely incapacitated to kind of limping in three hours.

Yeah, I took that injury to his foot to be. So that could be a lot of things. That could be a bullet that passed through a lot of people. Bullets peel apart, you know? But the severity of the injury dropped a ton. If it was a direct hit. The severity of the injury changed. That's my issue.

I'm not saying that... He was as crippled or mobile as the script required him to be at any given time yeah yeah that tiger clip is beyond ridiculous I watched it and I do not I'm not I don't know if I want to come back to this show now frankly

I liked the tiger and I liked the tiger owner whatever his name is the king the king that's his name just Ezekiel Ezekiel okay that was that was really stupid um this is a show that i'm kind of invested in are we in season eight have i been watching this for eight years yeah me too i'm in up to here yeah i've been watching for

one year they've been talking about how this could go on forever. They will make it go on forever, yeah. No, they won't because the ratings are dropping. They continue to drop. Here's the one saving grace. They got a $2 million per episode budget, a laughably small budget that has not increased. Season 1,

it was higher. I don't know, $3.6 million an episode or something like that, roughly. They dropped to like $2.2, $2.4 in Season 2, 3.6 million an episode or something like that, roughly. They dropped to like 2.2, 2.4 in season two and it's been there ever since. I think Friends had a higher budget. Yeah, Friends had a higher budget and it's fucking Friends, right?

It's filmed in a studio. Which is already made. Yeah, and that doesn't even translate for inflation. Jesus Christ. Joey Tribbiani was getting paid. They all were.

They did a neat thing. They all were. They negotiated together. They negotiated as a group. That's a good show. I like it. On Reddit, I read that they're still being paid like millions a year. 20 million a year.

Right? Just of royalties or whatever. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. For doing absolutely nothing anymore nothing i wonder how long that lasts right for a while as long as the show's going on like it's not going on anymore no no i mean like as long as they're running it and that's sort of where i was headed with this like when i was a little little kid happy days had a run like long beyond when it was off air i think it's still playing man but i doubt ron Ron Howard's making a lot of Happy Days money.

I bet those checks are shrinking. If he had a royalties deal that was in perpetuity, TV Land's still forking out that dough because it still gets decent ratings. Old people love that shit. Yeah, that's true. Maybe that's not the best example.

Eventually, Friends will become less popular than it is now. Yeah, I think it was one of the... You rolled your eyes at Friends. I thought I would think it was stupid, too. I really like this show. I watched Friends when it came out. I'd never seen an episode until like a month ago. So here's...

I'm frustrated with Friends. You know, everyone's a dirty whore, but no one ever brings that point up, at least in like Seinfeld. They all are. How many dudes did fucking Rachel bang? How many dudes did Monica bang? It's dozens and dozens and dozens.

But it's because it's a show that goes ten seasons. They can't be like, alright, another two seasons have passed. We don't want to come off a bit of a whore, so we'll throw it at the guy in the back. A whore. I need to watch it again. I didn't have that in my head probably stupid Woody thought they just kissed but it's the same thing as like all the other shows

where like even like Ross she didn't even date him for four months they're probably not fucking he's really smooching a lot she didn't even have to pay for Pretty Woman but uh yeah I like it it's like a good background like kind to pay attention don't really need to

it's not like you're gonna miss anything kind of show rachel's such a dirty whore and she's so hot she's always cucking ross ross is always in the background like his excuse that if we were on a break was a legitimate fucking excuse this guy's a nerdy paleontologist he cannot be turning down pussy he's got to be getting after it whenever he can. You get on a break with Ross, and somebody's throwing themselves at him, don't be surprised if he's smooching some other gal. That's the point of a break.

That's the thing. That's the point of a break. Look, you want a break from this guy? That's the risk you're taking. Yeah. Going on a break is like right before you're guaranteed to break up for real. Because it's like neither of you can commit to the real thing, and then you... I've never done a break is like right before you're guaranteed to break up for real. Because it's like neither of you can commit to the real thing. And then you, you know, have you, I've never done a break with a girlfriend before.

But I've had friends who go on breaks with their girlfriends. And I've never known anyone to actually get back together and be the way they were. I've been offered a break. Break up soon. When I was young, I was offered a break. Like, yeah, I think we should take a break. And I said, it's over. You want a break?

Then we're done. Nice. Beat your feet. That was the correct answer. Yeah. And Joey, of course, is the biggest whore of them all. Like, there's an episode where... No, men can't be whores.

He is a man whore. There's an episode where I think Chandler needs some condoms, and Joey's just like... He's got like a hundred pack of condoms or something on him at the time. It's just ridiculous. It is annoying how it goes through the same formulaic thing that sometimes Seinfeld does, and like all those kinds of shows do, where the conflict has to be entirely contingent

on a conversation going weird and then instead of the person going what no i didn't mean it like that they just go huh and they you know they walk away and then the other person misconstrues it and it contrives misunderstandings for yeah development yeah it's it's infuriating and it gets old so quickly i just don't like friends i felt like the writing was just average you know there weren't these like hilarious seinfeld's great like i i go back even compared to george likes that spicy chicken and then like like george liking spicy chicken is see now here's the op here's a completely different way to move the plot forward in a

comical way george likes spicy chicken he gets a little in his eye so now when his boss is asking about a co-worker he's winking a little at him so the the boss takes it to believe that the co-worker is uh has an alcohol or drug problem so now that guy doesn't get the promotion it causes this whole kerfuffle right and meanwhile on on friends it would have been just a a language barrier almost between two characters who speak perfect english and that would be how they contrive the whole uh uh controversy that moves the plot forward you know what i haven't seen that i want to community like it's great you should watch it it gets a lot of time i spend time on reddit it gets a lot of traction on reddit

it's like a common giftif. The black character. I don't like the young black character. He's a rapper now. Childish Gambino. Oh. I didn't realize they were the same person. I do know the name. Yeah.

And he's hilarious in the gifs. I'm just like, you know what? Maybe I should check this show out. It's really good. It's really good. It takes a few episodes to warm up. And then after that it's like every season gets better

and then one gets really bad and then I think the last one was great. I don't have anything to watch right now. I think I'm really hyped for the Lord of the Rings series. We talked about a bit on TKN and I think we all feel the same way.

We want it to be Tolkien. We want them to take and stick as closely to what's written and the Cimmerillion. I didn't realize, but I've been watching that YouTube channel, and there's all of these other, like the Forgotten Tales or something. There's like 10 or 12 volumes of them, right? And I was watching this thing about Galadriel last night,

like the whole history of Galadriel and where she came from and what she's up to and how her cousin wanted to get a lock of her hair, and he asked for it three different times, but she denied him every time because his heart wasn't pure. So then when Gimli asked for a spread of your hair, a single piece, she gives him three instead. And they talk about how powerful

it was and what Gimli was going to do with them and have them put into a crystal so they would last forever and they would be a symbol of the relationship between elves and dwarves. I love that shit. I love all that crazy, nitty-gritty background stuff it's really all the valor i'm not nearly as uh as anti it as i was when i first heard about it because i know it's going to be a little in the past although not very much in the past because apparently aragorn is still going to be a child uh and so they i was

hoping that they'd go far enough in the past that it'd be a different age like a different era where the only people around that were still there would be galadriel elrond gandalf treebeard sour saruman saran uh she lob like all of them and i don't know i'm i'm trying to be positive about it because if it's even like a six out of ten i will enjoy it because i just like the fantasy i just don't want any forced diversity where just for the fuck of it they're like you know what how about Gandalf be Samoan in this one and it's like what that's confusing no like just don't try and shoehorn don't add characters don't be like you know what it's kind of a sausage fest let's make up a female elf and i hope it from the far west yeah i don't want any of that here's one thing i really hope they do

i really hope they do since you've told me kind of you've really established the timeline as being about 90 years prior to the the trilogy yeah that's 70 i really hope there are flashbacks. Like if Galadriel is talking about... 72 years. Yes. Six months. Depends on what part of the trilogy I'm referring to. I mean, in the Two Towers, Aragorn clearly says he's 87 years old. This is when he's a

child, so about maybe 70 to 80 years. Fair enough. So what I'm hoping is that Galadriel's sitting there having a conversation with Gandalf, and she's like, do you remember in the first stage when blah, blah, blah happened? And I want to see Morgoth. I want to see a gigantic fucking Valor Titan character that's as big as a fucking, I don't know, 10. I don't know how big he was.

In all the illustrations I see, he appears to be 100 feet tall. He appears to be a colossal being of unbelievable size. In the illustrations I've seen. If he's 87 years old, then why would his childhood only last like 7 years? He could be a kid for 25 years.

That's how it works. I don't think that's how it works. This is magic land. Do you think that he just immediately goes to adulthood and then his aging stops? He doesn't just have a slowed aging process? Because it's a it works. This is magic land. Do you think that he just immediately goes to adulthood and then his aging stops? He doesn't just have a slowed aging process? Because it's a magic land. And that's the way it works. Like 20 to 70,

those ages probably are really slowed. Because he's supposed to live to be like 150 or something. Like 140. Why does he live that long again? Because he's part Dunedain. Which is a race that's...

What? They're blessed with a long life because they're descendants of the original king. Yeah. Yeah. And so he is like one of the last remaining people. I need to know this. Maybe somebody knows even more about Lord of the Rings than Taylor.

I just want confirmation that childhood goes quickly, because that seems weird to me. Yeah. I watched a thing about the elves last night, and they explained that they were created by one of the Valor in particular to last forever and never age, but Morgoth coming to Middle

Earth contaminated the soil, and the elves are made of the soil, and so they each have a are made of the soil and so they each have a certain amount of the contamination of Morgoth which makes them age very slowly and diminish they use the word diminished Tolkien does and he goes on this long thing explaining that like the ones who live by the sea and ate fish because more gas contamination was lesser in the sea age even more slowly than the ones who lived

in the inland areas or whatever. And then of course the ones that are from the Undying Lands, from Valinor or whatever. Galadriel was originally from there and she immigrated over and there was this whole kerfuffle where one group of elves fought another

and stole their ships and sailed across and they were like Galadriel, we'll be right back for you. But they get to the other side, and then they burn the fucking ships down, and Galadriel's like, ah, shit. So they have to, like, go to the north and cross through, like, the Antarctic land bridge, or the North Pole land bridge, and a bunch of them freeze to death.

That all sounds like great stuff to be part of the show, but that's, like, thousands of years before. I'd like to see that. I'm still, I'm just gonna be a glass-half-full guy for Lord of the Rings. Like, I that's like thousands of years before. I'd like to see that. I'm still... I'm just going to be glass half full guy for Lord of the Rings. I'd like for it to be good. I really hope it is, but I'm not expecting that much, so I won't be too disappointed. They're trying to compete with Game of Thrones.

That's like the thing. What is it? The episode is... The budget was $250 million, I think, for the first season. No, that's just for the IP. Yeah, that's before anything happens. Just so that we can make a show about this universe, they gave them $250 million.

They're saying the show is going to cost upwards of a billion dollars, all told, because they're doing five seasons. Jesus Christ. I need to try and get a role in that show. I'll be one of the trees. I need to try and get a role in that show. Oh my god.

I'll be one of the trees. One of the ants. You've passed a sacred line. You're hired. You know what? You're a shoe-win for the part. Thank you. Thank you.

They won't even have to put a wig or anything on you. Yeah, right. Paint it green here. That's funny. I have high hopes. I hope they do a good job, too. And, you know, as far as competing with Game of Thrones, I'll watch both, right? Yes.

Has Game of Thrones been announced the last season? Like, the release date? No. No. I think they're filming it now. I'm going to Google it just to see on it yet. I think they're filming it now. I'm going to Google it just to see what it says. I typed in Google.

I'm pretty sure they started filming it. Yeah. So that'll be interesting. And of course, they're going to make Game of Thrones spinoffs and prequels and such. Game of Thrones will live on. 10-15 years from now, there's going to be a Game of Thrones will live on 10-15 years from now there's going to be a Game of Thrones type show on

it won't be long so how's the weather guys? July 2018 July 2018 it's not official but they um they looked at the gap between filming and release for all the other seasons and that's what they're calling well i hope so i'm looking forward to it yeah yeah the weather here too windy i rode my motorcycle a bunch today it was kind of nice i hadn't ridden that in long, so I broke the seal. That's good.

You want to call it a wrap there? Yeah. I got a post-roll here. Just want to remind everything that support for today's show comes from War Dragons, a mobile real-time strategy game where players directly control dragons to attack enemy bases. With over 150 different dragons to collect, players can join guilds to launch co-op attacks and co-op defense. Best of all, there's a new end-game feature called Atlas,

which is a 3D persistent world where players can forge alliances with other teams and build up dragon-led armies, fight for new land, and secure lucrative rewards. Just go to wardragons.com slash painkiller via your phone or tablet device to download the game. Remember, phone or tablet, not your desktop computer. Also, big thanks to Redbox, Casper Mattresses, Omaha Steaks, and Whistle.com. Links below. And, of courseaks, and Whistle.com. Links below. And, of course, check out Quebble Cop. Yeah, youtube.com slash Woody's Game Return.

Please subscribe. Definitely go there. Yeah, check that place out. It's great. PKA, episode 361.