Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #363

Episode Date: December 8, 2017

This week on PKA, the infamous Ice Poseidon is on and he shares many gay and interesting stories like where he shoves soap, how he's got a dick hand shake with close friends and he of course licks dic...k for fun.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Painkiller Ready, episode 363 with our guest Ice Poseidon. Kyle? Yeah, a couple sponsors tonight. Movement Watches, Lyft, Omaha Steaks, and MeUndies coming back. So we'll get to them later on in the show. There's links down in the description if you just can't wait to get those deals on underwear. But yeah, we got Ice Poseidon on the show. How's it going, man?
Starting point is 00:00:17 Hey, what's up, guys? How you doing? Good. Pretty good. Ice. First of all, I'm psyched to have you on the show. I've watched your streams here and there. Mostly, not because... Look, I'm not your demo.
Starting point is 00:00:29 I bet you don't have a lot of 44-year-old dads watching you, right? And I think that leads... So I watch it. Mostly, I just want to know, like, what the flip is the phenomenon going on here, right? You've got tons of people watching you. You can't sit down at a restaurant without, like, the fire department showing up. Like, i want to know one like what's the magic and two
Starting point is 00:00:51 how the magic has like impacted who you are like it has it well the uh the i mean live streaming in general is is pretty like i don't know it's pretty interesting because it's all live and viewers can be a part of it you know i mean calling the fire department don't know, it's pretty interesting because it's all live and viewers can be a part of it. You know, I mean, calling the fire department is like a bad, it's like a bad thing that sometimes they do, but it's like just one of the examples that people can be involved in like a,
Starting point is 00:01:15 you know, negative or positive way, depending on what it is. And I mean, I don't know, I don't really think there's too much magic behind it. I just think people like to be involved. Why'd they pick you? Like, like... Well, I mean, there's not much magic behind it i just think people like to be involved and why they pick you like like well i mean there's other many okay there's uh not that many irl streamers out there um so i mean i don't know and i've been doing it for so long people are just there you know what i mean people just have been with me for a long period of time i feel like part of
Starting point is 00:01:42 this show forgive me i'm not i'm not i'm that... I'm not up to speed with everything that you do. So the way your viewers often get involved is, you know, like some streamers, like they'll pay a dollar for you. They'll like order the police or fire department to wherever you are. And that's just good natured participation. I mean, I'd hope some people wouldn't.
Starting point is 00:02:04 But yeah, sometimes it does happen, unfortunately, but for the most part, people prefer to do other things to be positive. What I like is that you've sort of embraced that part of the community. You've recognized that this is
Starting point is 00:02:20 kind of part of the demographic that's watching. They like to get rowdy. I'm going to get swatted occasionally. The cops are going to show up at Best Buy. Just embrace this because it's like fighting the current. You're never going to win, but if you just ride with it, you can go on a nice, fun trip. Yeah, I mean, you definitely – when you go live, there's not really much you can do to prevent something like that. You can only do so much, so you just kind of have to deal with it until it just
Starting point is 00:02:46 gets handled another way. But for the most part, it's not that much of a problem. And the thing that's a main problem are people just calling everywhere I go, but that's impossible to stop. I don't care what people say. Kyle says you roll with it. Is that true,
Starting point is 00:03:02 or is it like a real point of stress in your actual life when these people like fuck with you all the time? The calling I just roll with because there's literally nothing you can do about that. It's never going to stop. But with the swatting and stuff, like I – that creates like tons of unnecessary stress in my life. So I did what I had to do to take care of that. And I haven't been swatted in like two months now. It's been great.
Starting point is 00:03:29 I think we took care of the situation. I was one of the old school swatters. I got swatted. The police started calling in advance. They'd be like, what are you, you really killing your wife? I'm like, no, no. They had my cell phone and stuff. They almost killed me.
Starting point is 00:03:41 Like I didn't know it. Well, do you say what happened? Yeah. So this is before swatting was as popular as it is now call it like 2012 or 13 something like that and i i have it in my head that a lot of swat teams now know about the practice but back in the day if they heard that you know some guy had just killed his wife and his son and here's his daughter on the phone hiding under the bed they They just believed that shit. I believed it when I heard it about Woody. Yeah, well.
Starting point is 00:04:09 To be fair. Note to self, no character witnesses from the show. So our regular listeners know this, but basically what happened is I had just finished a stream or something, and my wife was like, there's people hiding in the yard. We don't know what the scoop is. I just finished a stream or something, and my wife was like, there's people hiding in the yard. We don't know what the scoop is. I look outside, and just for like an instant,
Starting point is 00:04:32 a flashlight turns on and off. We had this big oak tree in our front yard, and they were hiding behind it. It turns out what had happened is the SWAT team was hiding in bushes and behind trees and things like that for 90 minutes, right? Hour and a half.
Starting point is 00:04:46 They're out there casing my house, just scoping it to see what's going on. If you had been murdering your wife and children, they'd be in little bits in the bathtub. Yeah. What the fuck were they doing? You've already eaten Kyle's liver. It's over. So I heard two versions of this. When I spoke to them personally, they said, you know what?
Starting point is 00:05:02 We were watching your house and everything was like kind of like someone went up went up went to the bathroom went back to bed and they're like that's not normal hostage behavior so we pretty much knew it wasn't real but i heard them interviewed by like npr or something like that and there was like the apex SWAT team on this radio interview and the guys like we were going to kill someone that night and it's really weird like driving into work knowing that you'll most likely kill someone you know it was stressful on me on you bitch so yeah so anyway um some they they knock on the door or bang on the door or something like that they don't identify themselves so i i don't know what's up and i grab grab a gun. I think it was a shotgun. And I head down the front steps. And they're like, open up.
Starting point is 00:05:48 And I'm like, who the fuck are you? And then they said they were the police or the SWAT team or something. So I put the gun down and I opened it. It turns out what happened was next door, there were two glass windows. It's a normal front door, right? And they could see up my stairs. And they saw my wife, who was supposed to be dead. And that diffused the situation.
Starting point is 00:06:08 They knew the whole thing was a hoax when they saw my wife alive. And from my standpoint, I could see them. But how funny would that have been if like from up there, Jackie just yelled like, help! Someone would have died. The kids are up here! Somebody help!
Starting point is 00:06:24 From my perspective, I could see him wearing those black like riot gear helmets and it said like apex police or something on the forehead so that's how I knew that they were I thought they were banditos hiding in my bushes and behind my trees and stuff as you might guess the cartel finally tracked me down
Starting point is 00:06:41 yeah so so anyway if that glass wasn't there so that we could like identify each other there might have been a shootout um because of the SWAT team white yeah that would have been horrible if you opened the door and there was and you pulled a gun on them they like you might have just actually died yeah right for real like like like it's it's kind of funny and I tell it as a story but in real life, someone could have died because of that SWAT guy, because of the guy that pretended to get the SWAT team at my house. So anyway, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:11 And to hear the – when they talked to me about it, they were chill and they acted like they knew the whole time. When I heard them interviewed on the radio, that was not the story. It changed 180 degrees. They – yeah. They're not going to tell you, like, I'm going to kill you. Holy shit, you almost just died there, buddy. They're not gonna tell you like I'm gonna kill you holy shit you almost just died there buddy yeah they didn't cover that what was the worst I guess swatting or police or a firefighter story that's ever happened
Starting point is 00:07:35 to you guys I mean that was pretty bad what what he said I think the worst was I was in a car and like 30 cops just pull up out of nowhere and there's like a crowd of like 100 people on the sidewalk here and on the left and right side and they just like 30 cops just pull come out of their cars they pull shotguns and there's like helicopters flying over and i'm just like it i'd like shotguns pointed at me and in the car and they you know tell me to get out have my hands up and I walk backwards. Are you wearing a GoPro on your head at this point? I was holding a really big
Starting point is 00:08:10 contraption. I had my video encoder taped and wrapped to a selfie stick and it just looked like a giant bomb. It was just wires everywhere. It just looked really bad. So thank God the call was that I had a knife instead of a bomb because I might have actually been shot.
Starting point is 00:08:29 I was more embarrassed that the hundreds of people like staring off the sidewalk than me getting a gun pointed at me because you know they were interviewed by the news these people were like oh you know this guy looks like a criminal or you know some shit i'm like dude what the fuck are you talking about come on i see you i saw when you got taken off the plane whenever you got taken off the plane. Whenever you got taken off the plane and they're interviewing the people who were on the plane, they're like, yeah, he was very suspicious looking. He had some sort of a camera. And if I'm watching it, I'm like, come on.
Starting point is 00:08:54 I'm not suspicious looking. Like, come on, I'm the right skin tone and everything. It's clearly just a camera. Come on, ISIS got a little bit of Al-Qaeda in him, right? Like he's maybe one quarter ISIS. Five percent Middle East. He's on the other side. Opposite side. So, I mean, if I was, actually, if I was a live streamer
Starting point is 00:09:12 and I was just, like, full, like, I'm just straight from, like, Dubai or something, it might, I might be dead right now. Oh, yeah. But if you were a live streamer from Dubai, you may have actually had a bomb. Yeah, right. That would be a good case for, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:09:28 what's it, like protests or something? I don't know. Yeah, if instead of Ice Poseidon, you were Ice Ahmed, you wouldn't have lasted this fucking long, my friend. Like, that Jewish heritage is keeping you alive every day. Yeah, there's just that joke in my community when
Starting point is 00:09:43 this was rampant a few months ago. It's like, thank God he's white, or otherwise he'd be dead. I mean, this is kind of funny. I kind of agree on that, too. If I was like, really, people can just be, I don't know, the police can just be biased. Yeah, yeah. If you were one shade darker, you're a dead man. Forget being black or Middle Eastern.
Starting point is 00:10:03 Just one shade darker. I mean, I saw you in Florida the other day. I'd stay out of the sun if i were you yeah i know i don't want to get tapped i like being white um i the real reason that i like my first exposure to you was from reddit like you're every it seems like every two or three days something from your subreddit will hit the front page. And that was where I was like, I have to see this ice thing that's going on. How? What did you see on the front page? Because usually it's not anything that good.
Starting point is 00:10:36 Usually they're just complaining. They're not the sort that just loves anything and everything you do on that subreddit. No, definitely not. Has it bother you at all like does it ever like like hurt your feelings when they just like you know they're like oh my god i've heard i don't even know what rate they're like isa 120p or 380p and i'm like why are they like does it bother you at all i mean it it's most of the posts don't really bother me although the only posts that really bother me sometimes are like false accusation
Starting point is 00:11:12 posts or like a post telling me like that you cheat on your girlfriend or you fake something because it's just not true at all I don't want to remove it because it's like freedom of speech but when it gets like 5,000 upvotes and it's on the front page of all and it's like i don't want to remove it because it's like freedom of speech but it's just when it gets like 5 000 upvotes it's on the front page of all it's like now all these people who don't know what's going on think i'm some sort of like
Starting point is 00:11:31 horrible piece of shit i'm like all right well fuck you know what i mean uh not not that this about me i was always the opposite the ones that bothered me the most were the true ones like like you know od your color correction sucks. And I'd be like, yeah, it really did. I mean, I don't know. Do you think you would get like hurt, like personally hurt if people were posting like really like things about you like that all the time? They did. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Back in, this is a while ago, like 2012 or 13. I was like the villain of COD for no reason that i could like get on board with and uh yeah channels would just make hate videos about me all the time and that's what i remember i used to watch you and you're like the guy who did like uh the mailman you're just really clean putt dude you're like everyone else is like yeah fucking cod fucking blah blah blah and you're like and here i'm with my family and I'm playing cult. But there is always that element of like, I know the true Woody, this master of propaganda pulling all the strings behind the scene.
Starting point is 00:12:34 And then people would buy that. Some would anyway, just be like, oh, yeah. Someone says, I've got the inside scoop. In the background, this guy's doing all these terrible things. And they would just eat it up. And there was an element of that that just ran with it. You get what I mean. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:12:54 In the end, it was a pretty good ride. I like you too. I mean, you did donate all those dance contest winnings to Boko Haram. I mean, yeah. Actually, the dance contest winnings I kept, the King of the Wed stuff I all gave to... Al-Qaeda, that's right. To write love on her arms is who it was.
Starting point is 00:13:11 They still hit me up for more money. The Albanian terror cell, write love on her arms. Anti-suicide group. Yeah, anyway. Write love on her arms. That's the name of an anti-suicide group? It might be her arms. I imagine a girl carving it in then like yeah in nice cursive underneath it says like
Starting point is 00:13:30 you know go down the road not across the street you know and that's their saying i think that it has some reference to track marks like they're pulling people out of like you know who just yeah i don't know oh like drug addicts yeah maybe yeah but back on ice all this when you uh oh go ahead when you saw when you saw the uh let's say like these weird reddit posts on the front page what were you just thinking about it because like that's what i always want from like want to know if like an outsider's perspective yeah let me let me jump in here because like i so before i watched your streams i was always catching this shit on red your subreddit so i said and it was always negative shit it was uh first of all i see some of the meanest shit like like these guys are fucking creative like like i'm sure a bunch
Starting point is 00:14:14 of the what do they call themselves the purple army or something like that these guys are some of the most creative mean motherfuckers in existence because i because like they attack your girlfriend ruthlessly oh whoa this is just a pic of you holding a Hitachi magic wand on some chick. That's great Yeah, we're gonna get to that later Sorry, sorry But yeah, so I was seeing all this stuff And it's just like all this this hate directed toward you and I was like ah this must be like h3s Subreddit or whatever it but no no it's yours
Starting point is 00:14:45 fucking subreddit is where it's coming from and i would ask like these guys and i'd ask other friends and people i know hey what what's what's this ice beside dude that everybody hates so much is he like uh is he like a communist or is he like like what's his deal does he kick a baby once like like what what does he do because all i i saw him the other day like on some porn star with a hitachi and that was bad fucking ass like that was pretty fucking cool and and everything else i've seen has been fucking hilarious i don't get it what's with the hate so like honestly it's all the communists and little did you know i was just late to stream that day honestly it got me curious about you like like i wanted to know why people were hating so much, and that got me watching your streams,
Starting point is 00:15:27 and I realized that I think it's just kind of part of the show. They don't hate you. They love to hate you, if that makes sense. It's a love-hate relationship. I dig it. It's definitely a weird relationship between the community and the content creator, for sure. Although sometimes it could be negative, because people actually hang around with in real life uh they're
Starting point is 00:15:50 like they don't like it they they don't like it and hated or roasted on reddit they don't like and new people i hang out with they get immediately just doxxed and found and hated and i mean it's kind of funny in like weird way, but not really. It's still negative, so it's like people don't really want to hang around me. Yeah. I guess that is a big negative. People don't want to be around me. I was worried about that aspect of it earlier. Because there's some real negativity in your audience that spreads to the people you know.
Starting point is 00:16:20 This has to have – I feel like what they've done, if they've given you money and they stripped away all the good things in life, like now you can't go anywhere. You can't have friends. Your girlfriend's going to get blasted. They're just going to like pour on negativity and cash. And I wonder like how, like how are you reacting to that? And how are other people reacting to that? i mean i've been doing it for like two years now it's just always been the same so i'm like kind of used to like just reading you know shit posts and stuff i'm just like oh okay this is whatever what you know what but most other people like new people or that i hang out with or somebody i go and meet for the first time they're not used to it so the old thing like they'll be like scared to like talk to me ever
Starting point is 00:17:03 again and i'm like you know it's not that big of a deal like scared to like talk to me ever again, and I'm like, you know It's not that big of a deal until I convinced them to hang out with me All right, so I want to know the backstory how with the porn star on chatterbait like I saw I saw your massive earnings Check come in the other day That that was a 280 to big big money Wait, what? Oh, did he get that from chatterbait? Is that yeah? Yeah. Yeah. It? Did he get that from Chatterbait? Yeah. What's the genesis of that?
Starting point is 00:17:29 How did that happen? How did the Chatterbait stream happen? Is this now the Hitachi thing we're talking about? Yeah, the Hitachi thing. I promised everybody at 100,000 subscribers Chatterbait stream. Didn't do it because of whatever reason. I was busy with shit.
Starting point is 00:17:46 I'm sure they were forgiving. No. Every day, dude. Chatterbait stream on red. Every day, dude. So I'm like, 300,000 Chatterbait stream. We got that. You tripled it. 100,000, you're getting this. Fuck you guys.
Starting point is 00:18:01 I don't know. It was just like a month later and then we were just like, all right, let's make it more like 300K or something. So we got that. And then I had to get a girl, so I sent out a message to all these little cam girls that would be interested. I picked one that had a really interesting background with a lot of weird drama and stuff. And I'm like, that's the one that I want to go with
Starting point is 00:18:24 because she's fucking crazy and it's kind of funny um and glow to behold she was fucking crazy yeah for many reasons uh like but i won't get into that right now no now's a good time well she said that she's uh sucked me off which is complete bullshit like and she's like tweeting my girlfriend that she sucked me off and I'm like the fuck are you doing like I for one did not let you suck me off and for two you're a fucking moron but thank you for coming on the chatterbait stream like I was I was like thank you for coming on that's cool we all we you know we both got something out of it but don't tweet my girlfriend saying that you sucked me off and liking tweets
Starting point is 00:19:03 saying we should break up with my girlfriend and go date you. Because I'm not going to date a fucking damn girl. So, yeah, the Chowder Bay stream went well. I really wasn't trying to fuck on the stream, but she was really trying to fuck. And I told her beforehand, I'm like, I'm not trying to fuck you on this stream. And it's just going to be an educational stream about me fingering your pussy or something. And she's like, all right, you know, educational, that's fine. And I dress up as a doctor
Starting point is 00:19:28 and then on the stream, she completely ignores that and tries to fuck me anyways. I love how you don't have any shoes on and your doctor's smart. That's fucking hilarious. Yeah, I'm definitely not the most professional. That's why I brought my friend Andy with me, because
Starting point is 00:19:43 I'm actually, Andy's supposed to help take a, because I kind kind of knew she was gonna try and fuck and it would have put me in An awkward position because I don't want to fuck on a live stream or camera I don't want my dick being shown to the public well, and did she know that you have a girlfriend Yeah, yeah, she's not a top concern She knew but I mean my girlfriend knows like what I do on stream, and she's okay with like she's not okay with me like It hurts her, but I'm like alright. She's got something. You just got to get over It's part of what I do I mean I think of it like I don't know in like movies and shit
Starting point is 00:20:20 You have like Tom Cruise making out with a girl, and he's married like it's like the same thing right just with her pussy I don't know but so About having sex on a live stream and I don't really want to do that That's why I brought Andy because if anything Andy said he would have sex on a live stream But that didn't work out cuz she's Andy this this gentleman Don't you don't want to wake up as Mexican Andy and he's is that who that is yeah that's good Andy is the good friend of mine yeah he's uh he's the girl did not want to fuck him though and I don't know it was a really weird
Starting point is 00:20:53 situation but it made for a funny stream I don't know how many people do you have watching that was it like 30 40 K or something they are my blowing it out of proportion we we peaked at 40K. Yeah, I thought so. It's an important event. Did that open your eyes a little bit to maybe a future career? Because you pull good numbers on YouTube IRL and stuff, but 40K is pretty fucking outstanding. Right, but I mean, if I were to become a Chatterbait star, I can only go so far without showing my penis.
Starting point is 00:21:24 Maybe you could throw a strap-on on, and you could have an enormous penis, and you could just wear it over jeans. That's actually a good idea. I'd suck a banana or something through my pants. But if that becomes your career, why would you care about your dick being out there?
Starting point is 00:21:40 Who cares? Or I guess your girlfriend probably. Shit. If my dick's ever on the internet, I will never get sponsored by anybody, Who cares? Or I guess your girlfriend probably. Shit. If my dick's ever on the internet, I will never get sponsored by anybody. Which is like, could be a good portion of my income sometimes. So I'd rather not have my dick on the internet. And also, 20 years down the line, I don't want my kids, if I have kids, fucking looking at this shit.
Starting point is 00:22:00 Like, oh, why do you have your dick fucking with this porn star? I'm like, I don't know oh it was funny at the time yeah see now you're just looking at the wrong sponsors you get some adult sponsors wet platinum lubricant right you get uh maybe maybe those dragon uh dragon dildo sex toys get some of those involved instead of yeah bad dragons because instead of like a human uh penis maybe you've got a dragon cock. Maybe you've got some. Oh, yeah. Plan B pill. That'd be an awesome, awesome sponsor.
Starting point is 00:22:28 Because those people bend you over a barrel because they go, you walk in and it's like fucking $50. You need it, don't you? It's like sponsored by Rhino 50K. You know, you know, that could be your dick pill of choice. After the Chatter Bay stream, I had all these weird porn like companies message me. And this one was like a it was like a knockoff Viagra. And they were going to pay like $5,000 an hour for me to take the pill and masturbate or something.
Starting point is 00:22:53 And I'm like, for $5,000 an hour is a lot of money. I will consider that. But masturbating on camera, dude, that's just so fucking weird. Dude, shoot me their contact info. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure you know uh you know wings of redemption i i know you know of him um we had it set up one time we were having our whole discussion on the show and we were like we asked him you know how much money would we do this sort of what would you what would you do for x amount of money thing all the time and we're like how much money would it take for you to act as a
Starting point is 00:23:23 porn star and do like a legitimate porno and he was like ah it'd be like five thousand dollars man you'd have to have some big money and we were like we were like well shit give me five minutes and like the band gets together and we find like a porn producer who's like yeah i got a girl i got five grand cash for big man let's make it happen and then he could totally like, oh, no, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. Yeah, that would have a sub reached out to me who knew a porn producer. That's how that went down. And he's like, you guys serious? And I'm like, well, for my part, I'm serious. And I'm more than willing to pass your offer on to wings to have him do a porn. And and then he knew
Starting point is 00:24:03 a guy and he showed me the whole conversation. You know guy was like oh i don't know like so many guys want to be in in porn like is he hot does he have a giant dick and he's like no quite the opposite but he's very popular on youtube and you know he brings this he brings this audience with him and he's like all right we're in yeah yeah i mean i i would never want my dick on the internet, but I'd probably do a porno for like probably like $100K, I'd do a porno. Oh yeah, for sure. I mean,
Starting point is 00:24:33 it'd be worth it. I'd just put all that in Bitcoin or something, it'd be worth it. I wouldn't need to care about my future at that point. So you've never uploaded like an anonymous You think if you have $100K you don't need to care about your future? I mean... You had 100k worth of Bitcoin two weeks ago.
Starting point is 00:24:53 What was I going to say? Fuck. Bitcoin, porn, 100k. I was going to ask Taylor and maybe Ice. Have you ever anonymously uploaded a pornographic video of yourself to the interwebs? I pornographic video of yourself to the
Starting point is 00:25:05 to the interwebs no i have a video of me online yeah with my penis out but i'm not doing anything i'm just naked yeah i uploaded it to the pornhub like i don't know like years ago just for shits and gigs and it's just like random letters i I just like on the keyboard. Oh my God. Someone's going to find it. Is it just you? It's just you standing around? Like no. Yeah, no. I mean, I'm not just standing around.
Starting point is 00:25:32 I'm like, I don't know, man. I was like working out. I was like doing pushups and shit. I saw this one video online that was like really funny. So I was like, oh, I wonder if we can get any views from doing this. I'm like, so I did it. It was just the stupidest fucking thing. I'm like hairy as fuck.
Starting point is 00:25:44 I didn't shave. I used, I'm like literally you can barelyest fucking thing. I'm like hairy as fuck. I didn't shave. I'm like literally, you can barely see my dick because I'm like tiny as fuck. So I'm working out. And it was, yeah, I look like a fucking like sweet. I'm sure that won't be posted to either of our subreddits by Sunday. I'm going to have to try
Starting point is 00:26:00 and, now that I said it, delete that. You don't want to get on that before, well, before midnight tonight. You don't want to get on that before midnight tonight. I've uploaded some anonymous pornographic material onto the interweb. Maybe I'm with a lady and we keep faces out of it.
Starting point is 00:26:16 Throw it up on Pornhub. See what the general audience is thinking. I wonder if I've ever jerked off to Kyle not knowing. You definitely have. I've got about 80,000 anonymous subscribers over there. They don't know whose dick they're watching, but... Oh, I was doing it to the YouTube videos.
Starting point is 00:26:32 My mistake. Was the girl okay with that, or did you just... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She was definitely... Yeah, I wouldn't do that without... When you're in Kyle's room, you're always being filmed. You thought I could sit for him when you walk in. Continuously recorded while on the premises, etc.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Non-disclosure. It's pretty boilerplate, really. It's on an iPad. Just sign with your finger. Open up my consent app. I used to want to do hitting camera porno stuff because I just thought it was
Starting point is 00:27:03 really funny, so I would, like, record, like, me, a sexual encounter with a girl, and I just wouldn't tell her, and I just upload it. That, uh, I think that's a felony. It depends on the stage. I mean, I'll get it, I mean, you know, whatever, dude. But if your face isn't in the video... I'll blur my face.
Starting point is 00:27:21 I don't know, I mean, I don't know. If you just blurred your own face that would be the biggest piece of shit move in the history of porn where you're like oh shit I almost uploaded this stock I gotta get in there and edit alright just me I like the pornos where they blur the guy's face if I'm being honest
Starting point is 00:27:37 I sort of gravitate towards those because I never ever want to see the expression on the dude's face they're usually sweaty and they got some weird face going. I don't need to see that. Like I really hate Japanese porn when they blur the genitals, but I love the fake casting couch porn. And my new one that I found is like this guy's like a shopkeeper of some kind,
Starting point is 00:28:01 like a Best Buy employee, and he like catches some hot chick stealing, and he like takes her in the back, and he's like, well, what are we going to do with you? We caught you stealing cameras. Maybe we'll work it out back here. And then he bangs her in the back room. And sometimes her mom's there watching, and the mom's like, this is what happens when you steal. This is just what happens. And she's just sucking a dick or whatever.
Starting point is 00:28:22 Those are some of my favorites. Do you like the story ones, like where there's a whole to well it sounds like you do with like the best by fiasco well you know they're like oh i can't possibly afford this vizio sound bar come on back you know like that like i i like amateur like i like to be able to know that it's like more spontaneous and going like it's like the casting couch thing i don't even like that because the like the dude walks over with the camera way too steady and then her being like just coy enough that it's obvious that she knows it's like this isn't this is yeah yeah yeah i discovered those were fake when um i was watching it and the chick's fingernails changed like like in what in the early in the shot she had like her her nails were not done and then
Starting point is 00:29:05 later in the shot you looked and her nails had been done and i was like oh shit this is filmed over a couple of days they do it and then sometimes they do like uh they over hype the you know i'm really shy oh yeah i bet you're shy and then it'll be like a star wipe to just her asshole just getting fucked on that couch you know the clock went from 605 to 611 you're real shy aren't you yeah yeah the amateur is definitely better because uh i mean i don't like when girls play up when they're like sucking a dick or something they just play it up too much and it's not really entertaining to watch just fake it's like you honestly believing that the waitress is flirting with you.
Starting point is 00:29:45 It's like, no, she's at work. She's trying to do shit. That lady's really hamming it up in bed. Anyway, Kyle, sorry. That's why I despise strippers, is that fakery, that bullshit. Well, then explain how that differs from prostitution because you've said you don't have a problem with that. Don't you see that as the same kind of fakery?
Starting point is 00:30:01 Well, prostitution, you don't have to do anything. You just give them the money and you fuck them. You don't have to like do anything you just give them the money and you fuck them you don't have to talk to them the stripper is pretending she's going to fuck you and leeching your money the prostitute is like i'll fuck you it's 200 and i'm like i can get on board with this is certain honesty in that this is pragmatism it's that you dislike it's not the her pretending to do something so like you don. Well, that's what it is. It's her pretending that there's a chance she might fuck you. That's the whole thing. There's this flirtatious
Starting point is 00:30:30 thing where she's trying to get into the mind of the customer and be like, oh, I've never seen a normal man before in here in the strip club. I'm interested. Oh, you've got a whole pocket full of ones? How impressive. This is shit she's seen before.
Starting point is 00:30:45 I'm not showing her anything she hasn't seen before. She's leading you on with her horse shit. I really despise that. We're talking about dicks. Chiz, our producer, linked me with some information. I had to ask, is it true that if I come to your place, I have to show you my dick?
Starting point is 00:31:00 Is that a thing? I've heard this. Do you have some sort of rule that when people enter your house they need you need to see their penis oh you're talking to me um yeah well none of us have that rule i have a rule well i have a rule it's just like if you want to be like close friends with me i have an initiation process well first of all, how did you find out about this? Cause that's, well, we have our sources, you know,
Starting point is 00:31:28 we had a research team look into you before you came on. Yeah. Yeah. I have this initiation where when you come in, we'll sit on the couch, we'll talk and then we'll be like, all right, let's see how much we can trust each other.
Starting point is 00:31:42 Let me stand up and we all get our pants off. And we pull boy dicks out Everybody's hands to themselves I hope and well, you know For was it kind of like a really gay kind of chicken where it's like, oh, you know Are you secure enough in your masculinity to touch the head of my cock? Oh, I am Last one to come on it has to eat the pizza. Is that the deal? If it's like somebody new well, you know, just if you on it has to eat the pizza is that the deal if it's if it's like somebody new well you know just if you want to pull your dick out all right you can we're not
Starting point is 00:32:09 by the way we're not i'm not like forcing people to pull their dicks out we ask them like hey do you want to pull your dick out because it's funny and they're like oh yeah sure um so and then if we do it we'll do it and then it's just like okay now we can trust each other we did and we do the fucking dick handshake where i grab their dick, they grab mine, we shake. And that's it. The fucking pact is complete. We can trust each other with anything now and it's all good. How many
Starting point is 00:32:33 of these dick pals do you have? Is it an exclusive group or is it a couple dozen people? It's pretty much an exclusive group and a couple of other streamers that I've uh hung out with but or anyone i mean not a lot of people named andy too yeah um so you and andy have done the old sausage shake multiple times so yeah i mean new people that come in it's just they show the dicks me and my friends like kyle or my roommate we'll like touch our dicks and we'll like uh fuck a pizza
Starting point is 00:33:05 or something like have sex with something in front of each other and sure sure and we'll see if we how fast we can get hard it's like a race like who can get hard first i mean we've never come in the same room no that would be gay but i've offered i was like hey i'll give you 100 bucks if you can come in front of us and no one can ever do it because i'm not actually gay, but we get hard at least. Okay. I love this. Man, that went so much in a winding path I didn't know it was going to go.
Starting point is 00:33:35 I feel like you would want to have a rule where you didn't want your male friends to take their dicks out. Maybe take your tits out when you show up. Yeah, does this mean you can't trust women? Well, that's a no. I mean, that might cause for sexual harassment or something. Take your tits out when you show up. Does this mean you can't trust women? No. That might cause for sexual harassment or something. A man can't call for sexual harassment, so it's okay. That's actually pretty smart.
Starting point is 00:33:54 I don't have a whole women theory. If a woman walks in and I'm like, you gotta pull your tits out or something, that's just like, she's gonna report that to somebody. I'm gonna get fucked. You're gonna be live streaming from county in about an hour and a half. And another gentleman will be asking to see your dick.
Starting point is 00:34:11 And I feel like tits isn't the same level of commitment, though, right? Like, I really feel like she's got to show some badge to trust me. No, no, no. See, that's the equivalent. I've been through this many times. See, you've been out of the internet. You've never been in the internet dating scene. You're not a Tinder cat.
Starting point is 00:34:30 See, men don't really have an equivalent to tits. We just don't. So if I'm talking to... Nobody wants to see that. Nobody wants to see that. Nobody wants sack. It'd be better if there was no sack. I think it'd be more aesthetically pleasing.
Starting point is 00:34:44 They should be on the inside. They should be on the inside. I'm planning on getting that done. I was just thinking the same. I don't want many more kids. Put them on the inside. Exactly. Think of it as birth control.
Starting point is 00:34:54 Yeah, so chicks have shown me their tits, and they're like, oh, what are you going to send me? And I'm like, I don't know. What's the fucking equivalent here? I only got one thing that I could think of to show you i mean and and so then i show them my hairy feet and and they get really turned off they're never into that yeah i've actually been on the other side of that and that happened to me too right though i don't like the the request for a dick pic after they've sent tits because it's like no that's not that's you're right kyle it's not equivalent like it's almost like you're trying to bamboozle me
Starting point is 00:35:24 into that and if you make me send you a dick pic, you're going to lose interest because you probably got 10 other dick pics today. Ah, keep the mystery going. Do you guys actually know how to send dick pics without it being fucking weird? Yeah, you just don't put your face in the picture. You never have yourself like,
Starting point is 00:35:40 hey! I'm totally out of the dick pic game, but I would assume you try to get the maximum amount of chub that doesn't look hard, right? Just add a little bulk. No? No, you want to get fully erect. You want to look like
Starting point is 00:35:57 if she were there right now, she'd be like, God damn! Thank you so much! I was going to blow it! I had no idea! You're such a flaccid dick so you why would i send a girl a picture of my soft dick and be like hey if you were here this wouldn't be quite so boring i didn't know i didn't know i i yeah the phone back when i was in the game not only were there no fucking cell phones but they sure as hell didn't have cameras and GPS There were so
Starting point is 00:36:36 There is a dude under the tape If we make carved it in a stone tablet. Actually, you have trouble taking dick pics? Well, I just don't know how to. I don't know. When I was in high school, I'd send dick pics or whatever to my lady friends. And they'd send me their shit. And I'm like, all right. They were like, send me something.
Starting point is 00:37:05 And I'm like, I'm sitting there for an hour trying to get a good picture because I don't know how I'm supposed to do it. I like my dick's fully hard, by the way. I wasn't going to send a flaccid penis. That's interesting. So I'm like fully hard. I just shaved like right before the picture as well because I didn't want to be all hairy. And I'm just like with my face just like straight face fucking dick pic. And I don't know.
Starting point is 00:37:26 Girls usually don't find it attractive at all. They're just like, oh, nice. And your face was in it? Yeah. Oh, no. That's really fun. Never put your face in the dick pic. I try to pose and flex my abs and shit. I don't know. I feel really just stupid when I send dick pics. But then once you get one
Starting point is 00:37:42 good dick pic, save it. I mean, that's a good... I just didn't know if you were supposed to send only the dick or your whole fucking shit. If you look good, but if the rest of your fucking shit is gross, then maybe just send the dick. But is there an angle that works best?
Starting point is 00:37:58 Do you want it to be point of view as if you're a dude? Do you want it to be like a mirror shot? I usually go from the bottom up. That's a sack pick. No, no, he's right. That's the right angle because you can do it faster too because you can see your phone and you just point it at you
Starting point is 00:38:16 and then you also get whatever muscles you have in there and then you just have it cut off right at your neck. Yeah, and they get a view of everything your body balls dick face you know wow so much focused on the sack because that's nobody wants that like we've already established but you know and definitely make sure that you're not like all soaked up in lube or anything or that it's not clear that you've just been jacking off? Portrait or landscape? I mean, landscape, right? You've got to get it high quality.
Starting point is 00:38:52 It's going to depend on what you're doing and what angles you're going with, right? There's many dick pics, but the commonality is dick is always hard. And if you're going for an artistic flair, maybe you could go outdoors during the nighttime and you could get the head of your dick to cover the moon or something like that. So you get sort of a nice halo around the head of your cock. That's my favorite shot. You could do something like that.
Starting point is 00:39:13 This is harder than I thought. Like the Christ on the cross? Like the Christ in Catholic churches where his head's there and you can see the sun. Exactly. That's just asking to get arrested for public indecency. I live in the middle of nowhere. Nobody's looking at my dick out in the yard. It's just naked time all the time.
Starting point is 00:39:27 Naked Thursdays. How about the aesthetic of the scrotum in all this? Do you just let it be how it is? Do you want it to be all tighter up like when it's cold or looser? Yes. Yes. You want it to be a tight little coin pouch that looks like it's just loaded like a deadly weapon.
Starting point is 00:39:47 Woody is showing us. That is my fully clothed dick pic. I don't care for that. Your crotch is all in my face now. Ice is get to know you game. Oh yeah. It would be good.
Starting point is 00:40:03 Would you guys feel comfortable pulling your dick out in front of your friends? Or is it just, like, people think that's weird, but I don't think it's that weird. It's only weird if it's, like, contrived. Like, I feel like if I came over to your house and you were like, hey, take your dick out, man. I'd be like, probably not. No, because, but, like, I've played hockey for so many years. I've gone to so many gyms. Like, I've showered with hundreds of guys and seen them all naked.
Starting point is 00:40:26 So it's like it doesn't matter. But it's just if we were showering together after we got all sweaty, then of course. That's just because you're getting something done. You have to be naked to shower. But shaking dicks, who knows? You seem like a fun guy. Maybe we'll do it. It's not like a rape thing.
Starting point is 00:40:44 But it's like if the person doesn't want to do it, we'll do it yeah i mean it's not it's not like a rape thing but it's like if the person doesn't want to do it we'll just pull our dicks out and if they do it then you know they do it if they don't they don't i mean most people no one's ever been like offended by it so it's just funny i don't know are you worried that there's a power imbalance you being a big streamer pulling your dick i mean this is pretty much the Louis C.K. situation. What happened with him? I love that you don't know that. Louis C.K. lost his acting roles, his producing roles. He's really in a hot spot
Starting point is 00:41:12 right now. You've probably seen lots of people with sexual assault accusations and problems in the news. But he would ask permission first. He would say, hey, is it okay if I pull my dick out and jerk off? Because I like it that you're here. Do you do that with females or males? Exclusively females. He would say hey, you know is it okay if I pull my dick out and jerk off you know because I like it that you're here and
Starting point is 00:41:31 Females or male yeah, I exclusively females and that's the difference Yeah, you can get away with it if it's with guys If you if you went to the if I went to the police and said this streamer ice Poseidon Coerced me into taking my penis out of his house, and then we shared a mute and then we shared a mutual shake they'd be like get the fuck out of this precinct like no we don't care like like don't you understand he's bigger on youtube than me and yeah there's a power imbalance i don't even know i don't even stream on twitch i have no power so you're permaban from twitch oh i didn't know that sorry for the sore subject right, like, does that bother you? Is YouTube, you know, happy to have you?
Starting point is 00:42:09 Like, what's the scoop? I mean, YouTube doesn't really give a shit, from what I can tell. I mean, they, I have, like, contacts in the YouTube, like, live section, and they give me, like, some beta access to some, like, stuff to, you know, try out or whatever, but it's not really that big of a deal um i don't really care that i'm banned on twitch because i can stream on youtube and it's working just fine just the only thing that really bothers me is when i try to get sponsors or when i talk to some like company or something they'll be they'll always bring it up they'll be
Starting point is 00:42:42 like so you're banned on twitch i don't know if that's going to be good for our brand or something they'll be they'll always bring it up they'll be like so you're banned on twitch i don't know if that's going to be good for our brand or something or some shit like that i'm like it shouldn't matter because that's irrelevant now i have another streaming on another website it's working out why the fuck does it matter if i'm banned on a site for what like how does that affect your brand working with me has it impacted you like is your revenue down or up since the switch? How are we doing? My revenue is up. Granted, on Twitch, I didn't have that many subscribers, paid subscribers. I didn't really make that much money, relatively speaking, to other streamers my size.
Starting point is 00:43:17 Because I did IRL. You don't really get that much donations and stuff during that. My revenue is up at the moment, mainly because of better ad revenue and i don't get banned for having text and speech on if something like bullshit gets said i just ignore it so um but yeah the main thing is when i pitch myself to companies or i go talk to people they always fucking bring it up and it's like some sort of like negative thing for them and i'm like dude it shouldn't fucking matter so how did you get banned from twitch i don't think i know the background like um i uh was dreaming at the airport and uh me being as you know stupid as i am i was just like oh my flight's gonna take off in like 30 minutes guys so i'll end the stream then. I'm going to, you know, Texas.
Starting point is 00:44:06 And, you know, I'm walking around. Oh, my gate number is that. Oh, okay. Like, I just was very not. I was like just very careless with like my, where I was. And, you know, I got swatted. And then Twitch was like, all right, he's, you know, this is like dangerous for us. You got swatted at the airport? They showed up at your
Starting point is 00:44:27 gate? On the plane. That's even worse. The plane landed in Arizona. We sat on the plane for an hour, and they told everybody to shut the windows on the plane. I didn't fucking listen. I left my shit open. I saw police pull up, and I was like, oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:44:43 He's the only one with the open window. He's behind us still. I knew they were going police pull up and i was like oh fuck he's the one the only one with the open window he's i knew they were going there for me because i mean i've been swatted before and i just fucking knew so i pull my camera out to record it and they come up they pull me out super embarrassing everyone on the plane's looking at me they probably think i'm some fucking terrorist and then i sit in the back of a police car for like three hours talk to the fbi and they let me go and they gave me a free hotel and everything and free flight to texas but and then did they divert the flight because of you um no my layover was in arizona no okay um but they i definitely everyone missed their flight it was just a horrible experience
Starting point is 00:45:21 was that the first time you did anything wrong? Or was that just the coup de grace? Did Twitch have a long list of troublesome activities? I was banned four times prior to that. It was for stupid reasons. Three times were because of text-to-speech donations. I go AFK for my computer and it says the N-word or something, and I get banned for 24 hours or whatever. And then I got banned for leaking a girl's phone number on accident.
Starting point is 00:45:52 And then they banned me for the swatting. And, you know, a few weeks before that, I had my camera get smashed by, like, this guy at a restaurant. And there was just a bunch of things that added up, dude, that, like, kept making it in the news that Twitch, I guess, didn't really want to deal with. There's a two and a half minute video. Can we watch it together?
Starting point is 00:46:11 Yeah. This is on your channel, yeah. So if you're listening and you want to watch along, this is on Ice Poseidon's channel. It's called Swatted on Plane. So what we do is we queue up at zero and then we'll say like three two one play and we'll all watch it together is everyone queued up oh yeah yep three two one play
Starting point is 00:46:36 yeah so i mean they're coming out through the back of the plane right now, and they're just, I mean, I just knew, they were staring right at me when they walked in. Of course. And they thought it was, like, of course. And they looked through my bags, they went through everyone's bags, they thought it, like, hid the bomb somewhere in the fucking plane. I'm like, dude, I live stream and people do fucked up shit. They're just like, totally not understanding what the fuck I was talking about.
Starting point is 00:47:27 This would be livid if this happened in a flight. Oh, right. What do you mean? Oh, like if I had to sit there and wait because of this? Oh, yeah. Because there's some random-ass dude? I'd be like, oh, god damn. Dude, I felt so bad for everyone not playing.
Starting point is 00:47:41 Yeah, the interviews with some of the other people were... Honestly, it kind of pissed me off. I was glad they were inconvenienced, because they were being shitty to you they were like yeah he was he was suspicious looking and he had some sort of a uh a go camera and uh i don't know what he was no dude kyle think about it like four hours into waiting you're and they come up and talk to you you're gonna be like yeah there probably was something wrong with them it's kind of shitty because the girl I was talking with on the plane was actually interviewed as well and I was talking to her the whole flight she was like normal we're having a good conversation and then she literally turns around on the news yeah it's fucking weird and you saw all the other interviews and then you saw her face
Starting point is 00:48:21 you're like oh okay one redeeming one and then she he's kind of a fucking creep you know yeah we just stopped talking about bombs and homemade explosives he asked me if i wanted to shake his dick it was very hot i admire that you still have the camera rolling like that's something that i like the few times that i stream or vlog or whatever could improve on it's the interactions with the people that's the coolest part of the stream. Are they trying to figure out how to turn your gear off right now? Yeah, they had no idea how to turn it off. I love that. But I wanted to make sure I got it on tape because I mean, I was just like, you know, if this is gonna happen, I at least want to document it. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, whenever something goes wrong, it's bad. I just could give you the rest of the money anyway.
Starting point is 00:49:06 It might be worth the inconvenience when it's up by the time it's all said and done. I mean, didn't make any money off that video, but it was... Why not? It was just... 300,000 views. I think it got demonetized. I'm not surprised. Silly YouTube.
Starting point is 00:49:21 Actually, the demonetization stuff isn't really that bad on YouTube when you live stream. My live streams don't get demonetized until after the fact so i get like 150k views from a live stream that's just monetized and then they'll demonetize when it's a vod which is nice yeah kyle went that we we got kicked all i got a strike on a PKA live once. Kyle was telling a story and didn't go right. What story was it? It had to do with a Medal of Honor recipient and beating up a tranny hooker. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:58 Oh, yeah. That's a true story. That's a true story. Yeah, yeah. That's a true story. So right during the show which is doom shows turned off live streams over the way I remember the story going great I won't be as graphic as perhaps I once was I think what happened was they were like
Starting point is 00:50:19 they were on leave and like Japan or Thailand or something, and they hooked up with a tranny hooker, and they didn't know it was a tranny until it was too late, and then they just beat the shit out of her. And I think that's what went down, like a real beating. And honestly, it's been so long ago, I don't remember the details that much, but yeah, I guess I got a little graphic with the details and just insta-struck I didn't know you could be striked just for talking about something. It's a while ago
Starting point is 00:50:49 who knows how they do it now. I'm pretty colorful They definitely don't do that anymore Yeah I've said all kinds of horrible things like I was always surprised when I was like I don't know five years ago when I was going through that whole diatribe about like the matrix sex with like multiple versions of my sister and like lube
Starting point is 00:51:09 like like like lubes raining from the eye and dildos and I like the matrix like dildos lots of dildos and they all slide out like that one just flew right past nobody minded a bit nobody cared some of the things we talk about like I'll be brushing my teeth getting ready for bed after our pKA recordings and just be like, what kind of person are you? You're even nice. Sometimes people quote me on Twitter the next day and it's like, oh my god, the PKA
Starting point is 00:51:37 version of me is just ridiculous. Yeah, well none of us have political aspirations. You know, I kind of do. Like, I don't see myself no not anymore you don't I was looking up the salaries of like state senators state house of rep where you get started
Starting point is 00:51:53 and they're pitiful we talked about it yeah oh did you guys see on the subreddit the female versions of ourselves there's this app where you can take a picture of yourself and then like throw it in the app and the app turns you into a girl like the girl version of yourself i'm fucking i would buy you're fucking you're you're a three as a woman you're a three i am fucking kate mara with a slight shadowy mustache i thought you know what i liked me a lot kyle is definitely the hottest of all of them i get you know that's
Starting point is 00:52:27 the consensus i guess they even my cup of tea i have like no i'd have fucked me i i saw kyle's and i was like god damn she's hot does that make me gay i don't want to fuck female kyle and i saw me and i was like i'd fuck female me like i i i you're actually really good looking holy shit you uh taylor as a female like i would totally well thank you i'm glad someone would because apparently i'm the least popular here jesus are you hunting down there is me maybe kyle's is the hottest as i'm looking kyle's is absolutely the hottest and then I don't know. People are saying I'm way worse than you, Woody, but I feel like my female version is just as attractive as your
Starting point is 00:53:10 female version. I feel like we're just as unattractive. I feel like I'm a good judge of this sort of thing. If my version didn't have a little bit of a mustache going on there, that's pretty fucking great. Looks like Kate Mara, the chick from um house of
Starting point is 00:53:25 cards that died early on yes fucking smoking hot i'd fuck female version of me right in the ass um female version of woody is second hottest um that chin is just is just throwing me off a little bit because that's your chin and jawline my friend it is it is strong i like it i like it now something now in real life, my teeth are not misaligned like that. I don't know how that's happening. That tooth is straight up under her nose. I don't look like that.
Starting point is 00:53:53 I looked. I don't know what to say. It's weird. It did change all your teeth. It gave you Tom Cruise teeth. Even on the guy one, it shifted. I swear, I'm not straight up misaligned like that. Female version of Taylor looks like she has an extra chromosome. And female version of Wings of Redemption looks like a combination of Down syndrome,
Starting point is 00:54:18 fetal alcohol syndrome, Bell's palsy, and Ben and Jerry's. So you don't like it? I saw female wings and just thought she didn't look that awful to me. And you said Bell's Palsy? Totally not Bell's Palsy. She's symmetrical. You know, your obscure
Starting point is 00:54:38 medical diagnosis is way off. Yeah, the more I look at this, the more you're right, Kyle. I'm definitely the ugliest of us three. I think that app turns anybody to look really good. I mean, I think I would smash every single one of you if you were females, to be honest.
Starting point is 00:54:55 Yeah, probably. I don't know if that's gay to say, but I don't know. No, you hold your friend's dicks for fun. This is way, way better. Kyle's is the hottest. In my memory, I thought mine was, I thought it was a tight race, but it's not. Kyle's is the hottest.
Starting point is 00:55:13 It's smoking fucking hot. I want to fuck me so God. I want to fuck regular version of me, if I'm being 100% honest. I'd do that. Like if I could make a, you know, in those movies when they're all, when you like go in the machine and two of you come out,
Starting point is 00:55:27 I never wonder why they're not, hey, you want to just go suck each other off in the back i mean it's us right like i mean we've been jerking this thing off for years and we might as well just put our mouths on it right like i'd suck me off right i mean i'm not flexible enough to suck my own penis no i'm just not like have you ever had another guy's penis no no no it's not like a gay thing but right it's not you've never you've never tasted a penis no no i imagine it tastes like skin yeah i imagine it tastes like a wrist it's like beef jerky you just kind of stick it in it's like beef jerky i don't know i've licked it i've not put it in my mouth penetration but i've licked a penis yeah how many penises have you licked uh just my friend's penis just one i've licked it and it just tastes like beef jerky i just you have that's something you have to
Starting point is 00:56:13 fucking try at least once in your life for sure i mean yeah i'll write on the bucket list right next to kilimanjaro it's kind of like the same thing have you ever ever, like, rimmed a girl's asshole? Like, it's the same thing. It's fucking nasty, but I mean, it's not. So it just tastes a little rusty, yeah. Yeah, it's rusty. I'm just being gross.
Starting point is 00:56:33 People say the dumbest thing about it. Oh, it tastes like a 9-volt battery. No, it doesn't. No, no, it tastes good. First of all, she should have just fallen out of the shower. It should still be – you should have to towel her off before you get started. There's an implied – there's an implication there that if you're letting someone lick your asshole, that your asshole is in a condition to be licked. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:54 That's not like an after-a-hike kind of sex move. You're not like, hey, just finish that. Let's do some 69 and now you need to shower. I want to get back to the dick lick. And how did this occur? It was a bet between my roommate. And I was like, I bet you can't get hard right now. And he's like, watch me. And then I'm like, if you get hard, I'll lick your dick.
Starting point is 00:57:16 And he got fucking hard after just jacking off a little bit. No, actually, he was already hard when he pulled his fucking pants down. And I'm just like, all right. And then I fucking just went, I licked his dick and I don't know. It was, it was, it seems gay, but it's really not. I don't know. It's not at all fine. All right. I'm glad that you said that. Let, let, let me, let me, you were falling asleep that night. Did you like kind of open your eyes right before you went to bed and just think like, who am I? No, I was like, I didn't even think about it. I was like, all right, whatever.
Starting point is 00:57:47 I just did that. I mean, it's just normal. Oh, by the way, Kyle, if you can't reach your dick when you're trying to be flexible, lick your hand and then rub your dick and then lick your hand again and you get the taste on your hand. Okay.
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Starting point is 00:59:08 nice, and stylish. I like the black on black. I've got one of those. So go to mvmt.com slash pka. Join the movement. Yeah, so I have it on a... from a source that perhaps that you
Starting point is 00:59:24 received some oral sex from a transsexual individual. Is that accurate? Yes, I did. It was back when I was young and desperate. I was 18 years old on Plenty of Fish. It was like 2 in the morning. I really wanted to get a fucking nut off
Starting point is 00:59:40 because I was... But I didn't want to masturbate. I was fucking tired of masturbating. And I did not have a girlfriend for a while so i saw this this person on plenty of fish which is a dating site i'm like okay i mean it's an ugly ass girl but i mean if she sucks my dick it's whatever and uh i go and i we go to like a bar we have like a date and it's like it's like a bunch of people at this bar they're like i'm wondering like i'm like rubbing her fucking leg and shit and she's like sitting there with like just shorts on like the belly button shit's going up to her you know her shirt's like going up past her belly button i'm
Starting point is 01:00:12 like rubbing her and like we're like kissing and shit i'm just like all right you know this is great we go back to her fucking place we sneak past her fucking six roommates that are sleeping on the couch and on the floor and shit. Cause she lives in some ratchet fucking apartment. And, uh, we lay there and I'm like trying to fuck her. I'm like trying to grab ahold of her vagina. And she's like,
Starting point is 01:00:32 no, no, it's the first date. I don't want to, you know, I don't want to fuck on the first day. I don't even want to get naked, but I'll suck your dick.
Starting point is 01:00:39 And I thought that was kind of weird. And I'm like, well, whatever. I'm not going to complain about that. And, uh, you know, we start, you know, she starts me off, and I just look down.
Starting point is 01:00:47 I just notice after a while that something was off about her. I saw that there was hair coming from under her chin, dude. I'm just like... A bunch of basketball trophies over on the shelf. Yeah, I know. I was like, what the hell is this? I just get flaccid while she's sucking my dick and she and she's like what's going on i'm just like i'm just like i don't know i have to go and she's like uh he's like you know just why and shit i'm just like because you're a dude and i just get up and i just go and And it's, like, really awkward.
Starting point is 01:01:25 And I thought her roommates were going to fucking kill me. And I don't know. It was a really bad situation. And then she texts me, like, the next day. And I'm like, no, I just ignore it. I was, like, I was pissed off, dude. You ghosted her? That's not polite.
Starting point is 01:01:37 Bring it up. No, it's not polite to not tell someone that you're a transsexual person. Now, I mean, have you seen the picture of this transsexual? No. Oh my god, you have a picture? Yeah, would you like to see? Thank you so much for this. That night when I came home, I posted it on a
Starting point is 01:01:56 bodybuilding.com forum. Here's the post and the pictures and everything. Fuck yes. This is why you're huge. This is hilarious. Let me find the picture as well here. You tell me if you would fall for this.
Starting point is 01:02:15 Being horny as fuck and just I don't know. It was like 2 in the morning and I was horny as fuck. You'd let that suck your dick, right? I thought that was a woman. Some Asian woman. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:02:30 Wait, are you serious? No, you can see in the neck. You can see what? Oh, no. That was a dude? I don't know. She has one of those chin dimples. Yeah, man. She's got the chin dimples.
Starting point is 01:02:44 I thought it was just an ugly-ass girl. I, man. She's got the chin dimples. I thought she was just an ugly-ass girl. I thought, like, I'll let her suck my dick. Ice, you're better looking than her. When I was 18 and haven't had a girlfriend for a while, I was desperate. Oh, wow. I was like, I don't want to get my nun off. Fuck, dude. I mean, did you notice, like, as you were doing the feeling up and the making out, that, like, hmm, there don't seem to be any breasts here?
Starting point is 01:03:06 No, she stuffed, she, like, stuffed it or something. Yeah, she had falsies in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was rubbing her fucking vagina, like, or so I thought. I don't know. I rubbed the vagina. I didn't feel anything fucking weird. She must have, like, taped her fucking ball sack and shit backwards.
Starting point is 01:03:22 You know what they do? All right, so here's what they do, because I bet most people don't know. They push their balls into their body, okay? If you push up on your ball, it'll go up inside of you, and then you pull the penis back into your ass crack, and there's special underwear, and you can tape it all up under there so that there's almost no bulge whatsoever. That's what's going on there.
Starting point is 01:03:44 How could you possibly be comfortable walking around like that? You can put your ball sack into you? Yeah, you can push your testicles back into your body. You just gotta like work them around there and they'll pop up in there. And they'll fall back out but unless you secure them
Starting point is 01:04:00 with like a proper undergarment and maybe a little tape. And I would guess that that's what happened. How does that not hurt? When I cross my legs, my fucking balls start to hurt. I mean, they're just committed to being the lady. I always thought they were just behind. Like the whole Mangina thing, Silence of the Lambs.
Starting point is 01:04:18 They just tuck. No? What happened in Silence of the Lambs? There's a scene where the guy gets naked. You know the thing where you can put your whole life... Oh, he tucked it behind his legs. Yeah, yeah. Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me.
Starting point is 01:04:33 Boom! Boom, boom! He's doing a little dance. Yeah, that's great. I love that scene. Have you never gotten in a situation like that? No, no. I've never been. I'll tell you what has, just quickly, like I've had fat chicks. Like I'll show up and the chick was much fatter than I thought she was going to be. Like just like 200 pounds fat.
Starting point is 01:04:56 And I let that chick suck my dick. And, you know, Taylor might have a story about that that hasn't been told. I've told my story before. Basically, you know, found the chick on Reddit about that that hasn't been told. I've told my story before. Basically, you know, found the chick on Reddit or on Twitter or Facebook or something like that. Gave her my hotel. She showed up and just really fat. And then another chick showed up to pick me up in her car. And I promised her to, like, take her to Morton's Steakhouse, like a $100 steak or whatever.
Starting point is 01:05:19 And then, like, I sit down in the car and look at her. I'm like, fuck, she's bigger than me. And I'm like texting my buddies to like call my phone. And I'm like, bullshit. I'm like, I got to go. Big emergency at work. Take me back to the hotel. And I just abandoned ship on that one.
Starting point is 01:05:34 How much of a lie did she tell with her photos that you went from promising a steak at Morton's, which I know is like your favorite restaurant, to having to make up an emergency to leave? Huge, huge lie. Like it was this photo that showed like the top of her cleavage and then her face at a really perfect angle. Like, she's trying to bend her neck backwards, exorcist style or something. That or the pictures were, like, four years old or something. They pulled that number, too.
Starting point is 01:06:00 Like, she's 24 and chunky now. Then she sends the picture of when she was 20 and just like right out of high school and she's still got her like cheerleading body or whatever and since then like duncan hines has taken a real fucking effect on her it's it just just fucked she was so big and fat i think uh you should never meet up with a girl who has fucking weird angles on their pictures online they're always fat. You live and you learn, but you're not the one to give that advice. I mean, hey, yeah, I mean, fuck it, dude.
Starting point is 01:06:31 Blowjob's a blowjob. Yeah, you can tell if that... I mean, does it matter if it's a dude or a guy at that point? I mean, a tongue is a mouth. It's all the same shit. I'm surprised that you weren't okay with him or her blowing you because you licked your friend's dick I mean like not it wasn't sexual though. It was just like a meme Yeah, mm-hmm. Okay
Starting point is 01:06:54 You you wouldn't want to make dick sexually well No, because well she would expect me to make her come and my friend was not expecting me to make him come he just wanted to you know to get the the dick licked uh if there if there's an expectation of of coming then that's a whole nother story i agree okay i agree yeah yeah i i i would i would you know we all right so we've done the thing where we looked at like um who's the super hot transsexual bailey jay just did we we compared the bailey jayxual? Bailey J. We compared the Bailey J picture with like, I don't know, the Buck Nasty picture or whatever that person's name is. It's like the woman who went through a man, whatever.
Starting point is 01:07:33 It's the woman who turned into a man with the shaved head, the pecs and the hairy chest and everything. And clearly Bailey J is the more. Oh yeah, and has a vagina. Yeah, I'd much rather have sex with Bailey J who has a penis than have sex with whatever that buck nasty fellow is that has like shaved head and pecs
Starting point is 01:07:49 and like a hairy chest and everything. I'm looking at her photo. She's a dude. Yeah, yeah, she is a dude. But she vibes. If you scroll down on that picture, you'll see. Would you guys... Alright, if a guy is really convincing as a woman, you would not let a blowjob happen?
Starting point is 01:08:06 Yes, we would. That's what I'm saying. I would. I would fuck Bailey J. Yeah, absolutely. I know a girl who knows her and talks to her on Twitter. And it's tempting to go and try to hook something up. Bailey J is very hot.
Starting point is 01:08:20 Yeah, yeah. But if the lights are off and you're making that choice between Buck Nasty uh still is his name buck nasty that doesn't sound right i like buck nasty better but it's buck angel like if you're listening along google buck angel take a look at that and then of course if you don't know bailey jay is google that and and you know you tell me what you pick definitely the one with the penis what if the lights are off in your bedroom and buck angel is in doggy style and so then it's really just no fucking angel has a broad-shouldered lady buck angel has bigger delts and more chest hair than i do okay bailey jay has a woman's body with really nice fake tits like usually when they put fake tics on a fake tits on a man it it does some weird shit where they're looking different ways like a cross-eyed homeless man or something.
Starting point is 01:09:12 They're like Forrest Whitaker's eyes. They show up on Last King of Scotland on you and you're like, whoa, what the fuck? But Bailey J's, they look like natural really nice titties and uh and and she's you know she's jewish which which i'm into and and and just really hot yeah so wait buck angel's a fucking woman see yes with a vagina what the fuck yes it's it's a so which one would you fuck transsexual bailey with buck angel 100% the dude with Bailey J Yeah, yeah, like that. He's got a hairy chest a bald head like what the fuck honestly these pictures really do change in the entire game because
Starting point is 01:09:56 That buck angel looks exactly like a real man like I would never suspect that would you like you like Donny Bonaduce? right remember remember uh break uh remember breaking bonaduce or whatever that that reality show he had looks like fucking danny bonaduce but but with uh but with no hair oh that's yeah i think you guys might be right on this one yeah that's changing my whole uh perspective of like men and women here it's uh yeah the game i mean it fucking did it's all the same shit, to be honest. That's all that you would know. I mean, would you give
Starting point is 01:10:34 Bailey J anal? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What other options are there? She has a penis, so I mean, it's a blowjob. Oh, wait, wait. When I'm giving her anal, I'm not sure. I might have got a little mixed up. Am I giving the anal or like... Whatever it takes, Woody.
Starting point is 01:10:52 Whatever it takes. That's up to Bailey. The rest of us are thinking about fucking, you know, her ass and Woody's imagining himself like presenting to her on the bed. He's like, well, I guess so. So, Ice, what did you do before you were a the bandit. He's like, well, I guess so. Wait, you just looped? Yeah. So Ice, what'd you do before
Starting point is 01:11:08 you were a live streamer? Were you like, is this your first job? Um, no. I used to work three jobs. I worked at Sorry, I just had to
Starting point is 01:11:23 spit that out so I can talk. I worked at Dunkin' Donuts. I worked at Chowder Heads. I worked at an Italian restaurant. And all those jobs are complete fucking shit. Don't ever eat at Dunkin' Donuts. They drop food on the floor and they serve it to you.
Starting point is 01:11:38 Or at least you did. Well, I mean, me and everyone else. The manager made me lick his dick so it was like no so live streaming is not my first job but it's definitely it's a stressful job in like a weird way
Starting point is 01:11:56 it's not hard but it's stressful which can make it hard sometimes yeah because it seems like you get a lot of surprise in your life with just not knowing like, oh, is today going to be another day where I'm surrounded by the cops in public? Or is today going to be where another scene is made at my expense? Like I can see how that's stressful. The cops and everything like that, the calls, the scenes, that's stressful, but it's like
Starting point is 01:12:19 not only necessarily that. It's like when I went to go work at a restaurant as a cook, I knew at the end of the day that when my time to clock out is done and over with, my manager is not going to be calling me 24 hours a day telling me that I did a shitty job. Where sometimes, you know, people can do that on like, you know, Reddit or whatever. And it's kind of like disheartening sometimes when it's like you finish a stream you look at reddit and it's just like non-stop just shit what are the complaints that you get i'm not familiar is it like hey your fucking video sucks or is it like technical complaints or more like fuck you you suck at interviewing
Starting point is 01:13:00 or whatever you're doing like aaron andy shit. Sometimes they'll say I do errands or I'll get some criticism on just really weird shit. There was one time there was a post that had 2,000 upvotes and it criticized me because I was looking at my phone while I was talking to somebody and it was rude.
Starting point is 01:13:19 I'm looking at that and I'm just like, this is the stupidest fucking thing ever. Who gives a shit? Every little thing you do is critiqued. I'm looking at that. I'm just like, this is the stupidest fucking thing ever. And I, like, who gives a shit? But it's just like, you know, every little thing you do is like, is like critiqued. Yeah. You've had some home run shows.
Starting point is 01:13:30 So I'll tell you like some of my favorite things I watched. I watched you do the thing with the, like the, the ghost pet, the Carolina Reaper peppers and the pepper spray with those guys out in the street. And like, you know, sticking their heads in the bucket for the golf balls.
Starting point is 01:13:42 That was fucking awesome. I liked that. I really liked it. And those are my favorite,. That was fucking awesome. I like that. I really liked it. Those are my favorite things that you do. I like that backyard boxing thing. That was fucking hilarious. The dude's crying and shit. I have some suggestions.
Starting point is 01:13:57 I think I might do something like what you're doing maybe sometime next year. I'm interested in this. It looks fun. I have some ideas. There's this idea I've had for a long time to do this thing, this sport that I invented called bum racing, which is where you attach a homeless man to a rickshaw and then you compete against each other, each of you with a homeless man attached to your respective rickshaw and you race them. So I want to do that. I'm going to make that happen. And I also think it would be hilarious to go and stream IRL at like a Mexican donkey show. Yeah, I mean, that would be dope, actually.
Starting point is 01:14:33 That would be funny. Those ideas would definitely work 100% and not be slavery. So that would be good. Yeah, you pay them. Well, the winner gets paid. The loser gets shamed. Oh, yeah. I mean, I guess that's similar to what I did.
Starting point is 01:14:49 I only paid the person who won. Everyone else just got shot with paintballs for no reason. Dude, those welts on their back. All right, so I'm sorry to interrupt, but I saw him plunging his head in that shit water to get to golf balls with a blue crab or whatever, and I looked on his back, and I played a lot of paintball. But I saw those welts on his back, and I thought that he had some kind of a disease. I thought that there were parasites in his body, like something from Star Trek. Those are the worst paintball welts I've ever fucking seen.
Starting point is 01:15:18 That was brutal. Yeah, we did not know it was going to be that bad. But, you know, whatever. People do what they – You do what you gotta do for some money, right? I mean, it's entertaining either way and they entertained everyone with taking that shit. So,
Starting point is 01:15:33 it's good for everyone involved. Another idea I have, and this one's I'm stealing this from a buddy of mine, Aiden, if you're out there. Keep doing your thing, buddy. You're the man. Aiden is a rather wealthy fellow, and he and his friends were outside a bar,
Starting point is 01:15:50 and there were some hookers on the corner. And they started – they were drunk, and they came up with a bet. Normally they race like Lamborghinis. Like they do those rich guy races where you take your personal Lambo and put it on a track, and they race each other for cash. Well, they came up with the idea to piggyback on the backs of hookers and race them through the street and and aiden found a particularly skinny like an actual hot hooker and his buddy like kept looking for like a sturdy hooker and finally found like a big portly hooker
Starting point is 01:16:22 and and of course like they hop on their backs and Aiden's hooker just collapses on her knees right there on the asphalt. He's like a 180 pound man and this fat chick is just chugging along, carrying his buddy down the sidewalk. The hooker actually did that? They carried them? They'll fuck you for money. They'll do a...
Starting point is 01:16:39 These girls take ass to mouth for $300. They'll put you on their back for about $50. Yeah, that's funny. I did something with the hooker. I had her beat me. I love that. You had a beat?
Starting point is 01:16:56 How severely did she beat you? Well, you know, just like she would smack my feet. I had her put a beard on. She'd smack my feet. And then she would call me her little bitch. And you know, it was, it was, I tried to see how far she would go and she was like legit ready to punch me
Starting point is 01:17:14 and like beat my ass. And I was like, I had to stop her. I'm like, okay, don't actually hit me that hard. Like she was, uh,
Starting point is 01:17:20 I mean, she was a big black hooker and she was like 300 pounds and you know, she's probably lucky. She's not having my dick in her mouth. And, like, she'd probably prefer to beat me instead. Oh, yeah. Did she, like, did you make sure that this was a biological female first, or were you just taking some licks like, God, her hands are huge? I mean, I'm sure.
Starting point is 01:17:41 I guess it was a female. It was in the female section, and she had big-ass fucking triple, double fucking Fs or something. So I was like, all right. What was her response to you initially saying, or I guess how did you bring it up? You just said, hey, I don't want to have sex. I want you to rough me up a bit. Yeah, I was like, my wife is watching on that video camera right there, so don't mind it. And I want you to beat my ass for my wife or something. And was like okay and i was like make it sexual and she's like okay and
Starting point is 01:18:10 she like would beat me and be like yeah what's going on um you know you're the you're my fucking slave and all this shit i'm like yeah baby what's up so start watching your streams this is really my favorite part of that is when you had her, like, rub the lotion on you, and you were like, no, no, no, over the shirt, over the shirt. And she's, like, rubbing the lotion into your shirt. Yeah, I didn't want to get, like, get naked in front of her, because she might, I was, like, afraid that she might actually want to fuck if I took my clothes off.
Starting point is 01:18:38 And I was, like, not trying to actually get this girl in my bed and fuck me. And I was, like, handcuffed and shit. So I would have been completely powerless in that situation. I didn't want to get raped by her, although my friends were in the other room hiding in the closet. The plan
Starting point is 01:18:56 was for them to burst in out of the closet while she was doing this, but they never did. They just thought it was funny to watch. I'm like, okay. So were you like yelling out your trigger word to try and get them to run in? No, I was just taking it.
Starting point is 01:19:14 I was like, fuck it, dude. Tangerine, tangerine. I sure would love a strawberry. You know, like right now. Yeah. That's a really good idea. I would have watched that. Chiz, find a clip of that, or like a highlight clip of that
Starting point is 01:19:27 so I can see this giant bitch wailing on ice. Yeah, I love the idea of using hookers for livestream purposes. Well, they'll do anything. Exactly. Because it's already established they'll do anything. Yes, when you start at sucking dick,
Starting point is 01:19:42 the sky's the limit. You know? We keep talking about going to Vegas and doing like a hooker trip. Just like going and live streaming, like picking the hookers out at a brothel and stuff. And maybe I pick his hooker and he picks my hooker for laughs or something like that. And our friend Chiz was like, no, no, no. I'm going to pick a man hooker. And I'm'm gonna make him
Starting point is 01:20:05 play magic the gathering with um you gotta be careful hookers like are they have like pimps and shit they're in like really bad situations and the their fucking people will come and like try to beat your ass uh i had this this one pimp he came to my fucking door when somebody called a hooker over it was like a fucking tranvestite hooker and i was like no fuck off it's like a fake phone call or whatever when their fucking pimp comes and like knocks on my door he's like hey you're gonna fuck my girl or what and i'm like no and she's like what i'm like first of all it's a dude second of all no and he's like well we came all the way out here from you know whatever south central or some shit i'm like all right well i mean i don't give a fuck dude and he was just trying to like you know have me fuck
Starting point is 01:20:47 this man hooker I'm like no how much do you charge for a quick dick lick they probably have something like STD I'd be afraid man do you have any other run-ins with the transsexual prostitutesins with transsexual prostitutes? That's a very interesting topic. Not transsexual prostitutes. I've had plenty of run-ins with transsexuals. I'll go out and I'll just be like, I just think it's a woman. It's not. I'll fucking get all
Starting point is 01:21:17 bonded. It's happened a few times. I don't know. There's very believable transsexuals. Yeah, absolutely. Especially with hormones. Yeah, especially with hormones and the falsies. It can be hard to tell the difference. It's that hard to tell the difference.
Starting point is 01:21:34 Yes, she is. That's honestly the first... You look so uncomfortable. I was afraid she was going to jump on me and get naked and just fuck me or something That was my first exposure to you now that I think back was was watching this stream That was great. Are you allowed to?
Starting point is 01:21:54 like stream stuff and tell people that it's just like a Regular camera and that they're not streaming or do you have to say? All right, this is streaming you guys It's not against youtube's tos to say that you're not recording so i tell them i'm not recording granted they can still sue me uh but i'm willing to take that risk for content so i mean as long as i don't get banned off youtube uh we're totally fine that's good well it seems like you're really pushing the envelope with a lot of this shit. It's very funny. I mean, I don't think this is really that bad.
Starting point is 01:22:28 It's kind of like those old school hooker pranks that people would call a hooker and fuck with them, except it's in person, right? It's like, I don't know. It's not that bad. I mean, there's definitely people on YouTube who livestream that do push the limit of doing illegal shit. I never do actually anything illegal so that's good we're doing have you ever almost done anything illegal uh stream and then had to stop yourself and be like oh probably not no i mean it's easy not to do illegal shit so but there's this one guy i was i've streamed with a little bit his name is brandon he would like go to stores and
Starting point is 01:23:04 i'd call like just one time we went together to stream and he like stole something from cbs or I've streamed with a little bit. His name is Brandon. He would go to stores. Just one time we went together to stream and he stole something from CBS, I think, or something. And I was just like, this is a really... I'm just thinking in my head, this is really bad because we're committing crimes on fucking livestream and it looks really bad for everybody who's watching
Starting point is 01:23:23 and it looks really bad on my behalf as well. I don't want to be, like, known as a guy who, like, breaks fucking laws and shit on stream, so I had to get away from, you know, him and stuff. So that wasn't the only reason. No more dick shakes with Brad. He's out of the dick circle. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:43 It was funny. We're going to do that, Taylor. We're totally going to get these folks. You're going to shake dicks? We can do that too if you want. Taylor and I have been shaking dicks since day one. You're not invited to our dick shaking. We suspect you might not be cut
Starting point is 01:24:01 and we're just not into it. He was born in olden days. Exactly so, yeah, we don't need any of that. What's the gayest thing you guys have actually ever done? Is it gay to, like, see, like, a bodybuilder or something and be like, God damn, like, well, I guess that's more jealousy. No, I mean, gay as in, like, goddamn! I guess that's more jealousy. No, I mean, gay is like physical stuff.
Starting point is 01:24:30 I don't know. I've never done anything with a guy. No, it's not gay to want a woman to do something to you. The gay-esque thing. Have you ever had a finger up your ass or something? Yeah, maybe a finger.
Starting point is 01:24:44 Come on, Taylor, Not even a finger? No. Step up the game, Taylor. Alright, I'll get back to you. You've never put anything up your butt? Only if I'm hiding it. I don't know, man. I put some shit up my ass.
Starting point is 01:25:02 It's a man's pocketbook. It's just for fun. I don't know, man. I put some shit up my ass. It's a man's pocketbook. It's just for fun. I don't know. What kind of stuff? Like a toy car? No, I don't know. I'll be sitting in the bathroom taking a piss. A long-ass piss.
Starting point is 01:25:15 I'm just bored as fuck. I'll grab a toothbrush or some shit off my fucking counter to see how far I can get it up. Which end? While you're pissing? The end what while you're the end that's like got not the fucking bristles yeah that's just an example I put like my finger like it's just like experimental I don't know yeah yeah so you'll just be taking a pee and ten seconds into your long pee you're like I
Starting point is 01:25:39 could use a little anal simulation I'll like look and I'll see my fucking shit here on the table and I'm like, I wonder what it feels like to put something up your ass. So I was like, alright, I'll just do it now and test it out while I'm here. Just a little bit, not like shoving the whole fucking thing. I like to think that you're peeing like a kindergartner with your pants totally around your ankles.
Starting point is 01:25:59 Well, he has to. He's pleasuring himself in the ass. Right? That's how that's like, oh, the door's already open. Might as well walk in. Yeah. When I take a shower, I use soap and I clean the inside of my asshole. I'll put the bar of soap in my asshole sometimes.
Starting point is 01:26:16 Not the entire bar, but I'll just shove as much as I can into it. That's actually a pretty revolutionary cleaning technique. That's the tip. My cleaning technique. Just a tip! My asshole smells like shit sometimes, so I have to clean it. You're not alone there. That's okay, you don't need to feel bad.
Starting point is 01:26:34 What's the best thing that you prefer most that you've stuck up your ass? Definitely the soap. At least it smells good afterward everything i mean not really it's not like you're jacking off with it there's no i don't it feels fine to me to be honest but do you like have to retire that bar of soap after that no i use it i read that there's a reason people lose things up their ass right like like a vagina is a tube the whole way right but with an ass once you get past the sphincter, it can go sideways, and there's a cavity there to hold stuff. It opens up like a chapel.
Starting point is 01:27:11 There's a couple chambers is what's going on. There's like six or seven inches of normal butthole once you go in, and then there's a second butthole in there, and things can go up into that second butthole, and then they just get lost like lemony wings. How do you get things into your second butthole in there and things can go up into that second butthole and then they just get lost like lemony wings. How do you get things into your second butthole? I didn't even know we had to. Well, you got to get real deep up in there,
Starting point is 01:27:33 way up there. Way up there. I did not know there was a pocket. Okay, that's interesting. Yeah, that's an issue. You got to keep it. You need a handle on the things that you're anally stimulating yourself with
Starting point is 01:27:44 because you could put like a bar of soap up there and then you could turn sideways and you've got issues. Lanyard. You want to lay soap on a rope. That's why they do it. I don't think it is. It just kind of rips my ass. Chiz just looks like
Starting point is 01:28:00 a diagram of an anus. Thank you, Chiz. I'm scared to put things on my ass now. If she gets lost up there, I don't know how I'd get it out. It'll come out eventually. Honestly, the soap on a rope idea was a joke, but that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, that's what it's all about. If you are one for shoving dove bars up your anus for extra cleanliness.
Starting point is 01:28:22 Oh, not dove. I don't know. What's the brand of choice? Irish Spring. Those are square blocks, right? You stick it up there and it molds. You mold it? You get it hot?
Starting point is 01:28:36 In the shape of a dick? Four bars of something together? Carve a head out. That would be a lot easier to put up than just a big rectangle bar. You're putting up a rectangle bar? Well, yeah, like soaps. If you put it in a shape of a long
Starting point is 01:28:52 stick, that would actually be easier. But then it'll definitely break off in your butt. Oh, penis soap. Shaped like cocks. Look at that. I didn't know they had that. Okay, I mean, that's gay as fuck,
Starting point is 01:29:06 but if no one knows that I'm doing this in the shower... Oh, that's gay as fuck. Okay, now we've established what's gay. I mean, if I'm purposely shoving a soap dildo in my asshole, I mean, if nobody knows I'm doing this in the shower, I guess it's not that gay, but... I don't know. You know people listen to this show, right?
Starting point is 01:29:23 I mean, but they won't see me do it, so it's fine. Oh, that's funny. I like that rationale. Okay. Alright. Yeah. Makes sense. You do you, man. It's good that you're
Starting point is 01:29:41 exploring and doing what you want. Yeah, I appreciate the free and open atmosphere that we've got going on I like having you here normally I'm like the gayest guy on the show but not tonight I mean you care about what people think about you you just that's you're just doing it all wrong you just gotta say whatever comes to mind there it is that's how I think at least so where are you right now you have an apartment a house what do you got going i'm at uh my townhouse you're okay how long have you lived away from home uh about eight months i've lived
Starting point is 01:30:12 away from my parents and uh i'm not doing good with uh living alone because my laundry never gets done i barely take a shower i'm just lazy dude i'm a fucking lazy shit and my laundry piles up until my girlfriend fucking does everything for me, and then the week starts over and it's a cycle. Do you live alone? I live with my roommate. Yeah, and we're both lazy as shit.
Starting point is 01:30:36 We just... We don't do anything. We're just lazy. Fuck doing laundry and shit. I'll just get my girlfriend to come over and she'll fucking do it. I mean, if she will. Laundry is the easiest chore of them all.
Starting point is 01:30:51 You get to pretend like you're doing shit all day, but most of the time it's just going on its own. It's pretty automated. Don't you feel like that with laundry? You get to feel like, oh, look at me. You're really getting stuff done. Then you go watch TV for an hour and just fold it. That is truly another level of laziness if that's the case
Starting point is 01:31:07 to the fucking machine and then put it in and put the soap in like i don't know i don't even take the trash out dude like i just let the trash fucking pile up and then when it's trash day i'll just fucking one big swoop to the front dude i'm gonna die worth the trash out of the time yeah i'm a lazy fuck We have like eight trash cans. Yeah, I'm pretty lazy in that regard too. I use a gigantic trash can. I use 50-gallon trash bags. So when I take it out, I'm like Santa Claus walking out with the trash.
Starting point is 01:31:35 I hate those bullshit 13-gallon trash bags that you can throw a shoebox in and then it's full. That's bullshit. Yeah, I have one of those normal kitchen-sized garbage cans though because i don't want a 50 gallon drum sitting in the corner of my kitchen come on who do you think yeah i can fill that get a big fucking trash can like a man you can take that thing out the yard fill it up with leaves if you need to that's how i roll do you like living la is la where you're gonna be be forever? Is that your spot? No. Fuck no, dude. LA is a cool city, but I like the small town feel a hell of a lot better.
Starting point is 01:32:13 I like going in my car and driving to the gas station and not have to wait in 30 minutes of fucking traffic to go a block. And also, the people in small towns are a lot more, you know, they're a lot better. People in L.A. are kind of weird, and they, you know, they're, I don't know, how do I put this? Everyone's just trying to fucking get something out of you. Like, people that I talk to, at least. Like, I don't know, everyone's just a fucking asshole in L.A. Everybody's got a scheme, too. Everybody's, like fucking asshole in LA. Everybody's got a scheme too. Everybody's on the rise.
Starting point is 01:32:45 They're like, oh yeah, I'm doing this right now, but my goal is to be a ghost writer for TV shows. Everybody's always scheming to go up that ladder out there. It's such a, I don't know, entertainment-based town. I didn't catch it. Where are you from originally?
Starting point is 01:33:00 Florida, Palm Beach. That could also be your position, Ice. That was something that was new to it that i had to adjust to right when i was big on youtube it was like everyone was like hey love your stuff this is what i want from you that was the pattern i'd see it again and again and again there must be tons of people who do that to you yeah i mean there are um with irl streaming it's a lot more prevalent because people can forcibly put themselves into your shit by just like stream sniping you or something uh and you know a lot of people just aren't genuine they'll like come and be like hey man i want to be your friend like your best friend and all this shit and like i know in the back of my head you're such a fucking
Starting point is 01:33:42 bullshitter uh but i you know i can't really say that because i'll look like an asshole if i say that to somebody who comes up and is like being nice and wants to be my friend but i especially see it off stream like like when i turn the stream off some people just get very different and i can and it just annoys the fuck out of me i'm just like all right dude like are we actually friends or are you just a fucking bullshitter that sucks yeah i've been living in georgia forever but uh but i think i'm gonna move i want to go to colorado we vacation in colorado a lot and it's fucking beautiful there and it's completely different from here here it's like super humid
Starting point is 01:34:20 and hot in the in the summertime and it's just it's terrible. You don't want to go outside. There they actually have a fucking winter with snow and shit. Twice in my 30 years of life have I seen snow that was more than 4 inches or something like that. I remember both times it happened because I got to make a snowman. When we go to Colorado,
Starting point is 01:34:39 there's feet of snow. I like snow like a little kid or something. I'm going to move out there. Move out to colorado with me we'll do it we'll do some dual irl streaming and we'll get up to absolutely no good i'll buy the hookers hey that sounds like a great idea and uh and and you'll have to to oh i like the idea of getting three hookers and one of them is a transsexual and you with a blindfold have to discover which one is not. What about we get hookers and then we blow them up with RPGs?
Starting point is 01:35:14 Oh, that's another good one. Actually, you know, let me pick out the hookers and then at the end, the bit is that they're all transsexuals. Surprise! As you're taking their pants off to check like a kid on Christmas morning, like, no, they can't all have dicks! Taylor, if you had to,
Starting point is 01:35:36 A, lick a man's dick the way I described it, you know, he just pulls it out, you lick the side of it, you're licking the side, the shaft, okay, and it's a clean dick. Or you have to kiss a man for three solid seconds with tongue which one would you take and nobody's gonna know nobody's gonna know but me because i'm watching you and the people watching and the dude oh man dude that like when you said kiss for three seconds i was gonna i was about to
Starting point is 01:36:06 for sure two missus but when you said with tongue that makes it so much more intimate you have to suck his tongue at one part you would feel a man's like rough face you have to suck his tongue at least once and at the end he's gonna bite your lower lip into that thing where he sort of pulls on it a little bit and you have to slowly pull away till it like snaps back into place does he have does he have a beard does he have what's this gentleman look like it's ice oh kissing yeah i mean you could just close your eyes and pretend it's a woman i mean you can't really pretend a woman has a penis so the kissing seems easier so the reason i brought this up is i understand it that you often kiss men on your
Starting point is 01:36:49 streams and i'm just wondering what's what's that about he's supposed to be pretty good at it too then uh yeah i mean i do it for the meme because people say like some people will be like stop doing the gay shit it's not funny so i'll do the gay shit on purpose because i think it's funny uh it's just like a meme it's like it disgusts the fuck out of me when i kiss a dude and he like i've had dudes like fucking hold me in place like fucking legit get in there and i'm just like oh god but it it's it's for the memes that's kind of funny so we're uh making out with these guys just like people you see on the street or like random guys on the street uh i this guy named chad he's an australian fuck uh he came over and he was staying over with
Starting point is 01:37:33 me for like a week we legit kissed every day on stream and we used tongue and we fucking tongued for like 10 seconds and it was disgusting as fuck but it was a meme so fuck it so like what's the what's the general response from most of your audience because you said some of them are like hey quit it with the gay shit and you upset them but do even more get glee from the fact that that contingent is upset now that you piss like no i don't know it's but it's funny and they get pissed off but that's why it's funny because they people get pissed off by it i'm like like, oh, that's, you know, like nobody wants to see the gay shit, but I like to be the guy that's just like,
Starting point is 01:38:09 hey, I'll fucking annoy everyone with the gay shit. It's just funny. I don't know. I love this. Yeah, it's hilarious. I mean, sometimes people may say you don't want to piss off your audience, but in certain situations like that, I think it's okay to piss off your audience because it's fucking funny.
Starting point is 01:38:26 Oh, I agree. If I saw it, I think it's okay to piss off your audience because it's fucking funny. Oh, I agree. If I saw it, I would have laughed. Maybe been pretty uncomfortable. But then when you go up and you see all the people who are upset by it, it makes it funny again. So, yeah. On man? Kyle, you have to answer it. Oh, would I lick the dick or make out with the guy?
Starting point is 01:38:42 Yeah. Is it ice that I'm making out with? I mean, that was my thing. So, I think that's fair for it to be him as well for you. would I lick the dick or make out with the guy? Is it ice that I'm making out with? I mean, that was my thing, so I think that's fair for it to be him as well for you. I think I'd rather make out with ice than you because your beard is just... Your beard, dude! And you've got a big mouth, too.
Starting point is 01:38:57 I feel like your mouth is probably bigger than his. Like, I don't know. Ah, shit. What's the dick look like? You just said it's clean and it's the side of it. Ah, I think shit what's the dick look like it you just said it was it's clean and it's the side of it i think i'll lick the dick because i just have to i just i'll lick the dick yeah yeah i think i'd lick the dick it's not bad it's not bad not bad what about you i'll lick the dick for sure the trouble with both of you is the facial hair. If you were very clean shaven, I'd have a tougher choice.
Starting point is 01:39:28 I'd have a decision to make. But there is nothing female about your faces. Yeah, there's no way that you could close your eyes and start kissing me and be like, oh, I'll just pretend it's a lady. How about this, Woody? You have to lick Wings of Redemption's dick if you can find find it or you have to make out with me are you willing to shave i will shave very well with my dollar shave club razor right before after shave i'll put on your wife's perfume and uh we'll dim the lights a little bit
Starting point is 01:40:01 and uh you're winning me over i think we're brush i will use smart mouth like an hour before and i'll use like scope right before to like really like just fully peppermint my mouth up for you with that event horizon of ice's gayness has sucked us all in like i mean what uh you got to do it sometimes. No, it's hilarious. I love how much detail there was in that, Kyle. You really painted a picture, so you're totally smooth. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:40:32 I mean, it'd almost be rude not to make out with Kyle after all that effort he put into it. You know Wings is not going to put all that effort down there. No, no, I might get Mercer. I'm sorry, Wings. I don't really know Wings or Devs. Let me know what it looks like. I haven't seen it in a while. He seems like the type of guy that would just be okay with just a lot of shit.
Starting point is 01:40:57 I don't know. He was always kind of, not far from you in the whole, you know what? It's skin. It's no big deal. He rolled that level of stuff. But he did have MRSA once, and that's in my head a little bit. What's MRSA?
Starting point is 01:41:12 It's a skin infection, like a staph infection. It's very serious, actually. Oh, it's fine. I mean, I've had gonorrhea like one time. Well, I remember with the surgical team, didn't they have to open the doors and aerate the room? Yes. remember what the the surgical team didn't they have to open the doors and aerate the room yes when they drained this pus filled wound on his flap it smelled so bad they had yes flap taylor i saw you react they had to they had to open a door to the room to aerate it and and like it was such
Starting point is 01:41:39 a country hospital that when you opened the door it's just the woods it's just the woods they're like oh that smells rank like god damn it's like like you left a can of half open tuna in a hot car for a week oh and it was it was gross it was not cool yeah and i yeah he mentioned in a live stream that he hadn't bathed in a couple of days and And it's just, it's not the first dick I lick. Yeah. Yeah, I don't, as long as there's no, I mean, so are you licking Wing's dick or are you making out with Kyle? He's making out. Making out with Kyle, for sure.
Starting point is 01:42:16 Okay. That's definitely the right move in that circumstance. Yeah, yeah. If Kyle's going to be all smooth. I bet when you're all smooth, you probably have a very feminine feeling face. Because you turn into a wonderful woman, clearly. I moisturize every day. I've got my Jack Black facial moisturizer with SPF 20. I'm just smooth as can be. Like everywhere there's not a little bit of facial hair. I'm supple, I think is the word. Just very nice. On that note, let me do a
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Starting point is 01:44:12 code PAINKILLER in the search bar that's 75% off right now Omaha Steaks is giving exclusive tickets just for our listeners Jesus Christ what's going on? His mic picks up ambient noise from upstairs. No he's being murdered mine? Would you tap your mic? I just wonder if you're using the right mic His mic picks up ambient noise from upstairs. He's being murdered. Whoa. Mine?
Starting point is 01:44:26 Would you tap your mic? I just wonder if you're using the right mic. Yes, the right mic. He's all good. He's all good. Yeah, the stairs are loud. Let me tell them about Omaha Steaks. I'm almost done.
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Starting point is 01:45:10 holy smokes it'd be a hit, a hit Woody a hit, yeah that like, that's an attention grabbing deal I've eaten all of that now I got my gift box a while ago and I saved the pork chops for last
Starting point is 01:45:26 but they were delicious wow really convincing with your ads I really want to buy all of that shit yeah me too I wish I got the gift box yeah get it Kyle's got that swag
Starting point is 01:45:41 Omaha Steaks send it my way we'll talk about it alright fuck I don't know so four hours it's hard to talk about shit for four hours isn't it I think we're just a little
Starting point is 01:45:58 flabbergasted by the first two it's been a real rollercoaster ride so far I'm enjoying it I wanted to ask you about this something about a Jews are not a race thing It's been a real rollercoaster ride so far. I'm enjoying it. I wanted to ask you about this. Something about a Jews are not a race thing that Andy Milonakis... Oh, no, excuse me. Yeah, the Jews are not
Starting point is 01:46:14 a race thing. Something that Chiz pointed out to me that I should ask you about. I'm not even sure what that means. Well, I'm 27% European Jew based on my DNAna test but i'm not actually a jew so i guess like i'm 27 like polish or some shit uh but like i don't know so i guess jews aren't a race i mean i thought they were just a fucking religion but apparently they're a whole people like just white people in general no so
Starting point is 01:46:45 no yeah they are a race of people and not all white people consider them white i i'm one of the good ones uh i consider are the good ones who consider jewish people white or who don't i don't who don't oh okay no i consider uh jewish people to be white people. I have plenty of Jewish friends. But they are a race of people that not all white people believe in. Can't a black guy be Jewish? He can be an Orthodox Jew. He can practice the Jewish religion. He celebrates Hanukkah. He had a bar mitzvah.
Starting point is 01:47:18 All of that, right? Are you sure that's what Orthodox Jew means? Orthodox is just the level of how much you stick like the Torah and the laws of the Old Testament. Like you can be reformed. You can practice the Jewish religion, I should say. But you can also be, as you are, genetically speaking, 27% Jew. And, you know, be agnostic or a Christian or an atheist or anything. You know, it's both a religious belief and system
Starting point is 01:47:47 and a race of people actually when you said jews are white like if it's a white person who's a jew that's true but there's a ton of arabic jews as well like arab jews now we're just muddying the waters now nobody's gonna follow that with us but i see where you're coming from there of course could be white jews but that but that's not. But I see where you're coming from. There, of course, could be white Jews, but that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about, genetically speaking, we're talking about the race of people who are Jews. The ones the Nazis wanted to get.
Starting point is 01:48:14 Oh, yeah, so like all of them. Yeah. Like anyone who was Jewish by religion or by birth, right? Because the only thing you need to be Jewish is for your mother to be Jewish. I think. Right? That does seem like a rip-off. Like, if you have a Jewish dad
Starting point is 01:48:31 and you practice Judaism, then you're not Jewish. I mean, I don't really like that philosophy. Who's going to call you on it? Wear a little hat around and... Bye-bye! So, did you have, like, a bar mitzvah or anything or no so
Starting point is 01:48:49 you're actually like you're religiously a Jew what no I'm not a Jew no Kyle no none of us are Jewish that's why these these knowledge strains are ending so quickly after they start actually no we didn't consider that part. So are you Jewish enough that you had a bar mitzvah? Like, did your parents raise you like that at all? No, no, I'm not Jewish at all. I'm a Christian. I think I look Jewish a little bit.
Starting point is 01:49:21 I think I have a Jewish note. No, you don't see it? No, no. David Schwimmer have a Jewish nose. No, you don't see it? No. David Schwimmer has a Jew nose. Ice here has a Jew nose. Look at that. It's big as fuck, yeah. Oh, wow. He knows his angle.
Starting point is 01:49:39 Woody, you do not have a Jew nose. No, I promise. You look like a white dude. People used to ask me if I was Jewish in school as a kid Woody, you do not have a Jew nose. No, I probably, you don't, you look like a white dude. You look, you know, you're, you're. People used to ask me if I was Jewish in school, like as a kid sometimes. Really, my nose got bigger when it got broken a couple of times. Was that because you were trying to barter down the cost of lunch? Wait, so are you saying I don't look like that much of a white dude? You could pass for a Jew.
Starting point is 01:50:02 I think that's what he's saying. Yeah. you could pass for a Jew I think that's what he's saying yeah like if I saw you in like a Shamag you know I would you know you could pass for an Arab or a Jew yeah yeah definitely so you know I could see you run around blasting Palestinian children by that
Starting point is 01:50:18 wall over there like or Israeli children or Israeli children I do I do want to go to the Middle East to do a live stream one day, so I guess I'll just fit in. I won't die. I'll be okay. Okay.
Starting point is 01:50:34 If I put the whole get up on with the little selfie stick, I think if I go in the middle of Syria or something, I'll be good. As long as they have 4G connection, I think we will be okay. You also are 27% Jewish, you said, and you just said you're going to go middle of Syria or something, I'll be good. As long as they have 4G connection, I think we will be okay. I don't see what could go wrong. You also are 27% Jewish, you said, and you just said you're going to go traipse around Syria with a camera
Starting point is 01:50:52 on, and so it's going to go badly. Well, I'm 5% Middle Eastern, apparently, so... Explain that to them. It won't be a problem. Stop! Oy vey! It's fine, dude. It's a live stream. Fucking ISIS, dude. Why not,y. It's fine, dude. It's a live stream. Fucking ISIS, dude. Why not?
Starting point is 01:51:07 It's just a prank. It's a social experiment. Actually, could you imagine live streaming going into an ISIS camp and trying to see what's going on? Be like, yo, what's up, dude? Just talking to them and shit.
Starting point is 01:51:23 They would think you're their company photographer. If you were super brazen about it they'd all be posing with their weapons and stuff and talking about the infidel and be like hey give me a death to america everybody one two three everybody death to america everyone you won't believe the images they're using you look like pussies on the media. Come on, give us the missiles. Exactly the shit they pretend to be. The U.S. government probably would get all... If I ever got out of there, they'd probably get all over
Starting point is 01:51:52 my ass, wouldn't they? They'd want that footage. You'd probably identify some key targets. Maybe they throw you into one of those... In the movies, they're always like, you're on the inside now, Ice. Now you work for the CIA, whether you like one of those. In the movies, they're always like, you're on the inside now, Ice. Now you work for the CIA, whether you like it or not.
Starting point is 01:52:08 So then you're an undercover operative for the CIA. This could be great for livestreaming. Before you know it, you're shaking dick hands with Ahmed and Khalil. He's the world's worst spy. He livestreams his spy activity on YouTube. That would actually
Starting point is 01:52:24 be good if I did the dick initiation with ISIS because then they would never kill me because we have that trust, that pact. See, that's a big dice roll because either they'd never kill you or they would kill you instantly. As soon as you said, you want to take your dick out
Starting point is 01:52:40 and then you'd have to really quickly be like, I'm just kidding. I'm definitely not jewish yeah i mean uh maybe that'd be cool i mean they would be i don't know interesting but and that would be cool i mean would you rather go there or do woody's africa uh escapade actually i want to go to africa i feel like living in a tiki hut for like a week would be fucking sick. Like where in Africa? Like Nigeria or some shit. Like I'll go to
Starting point is 01:53:09 Nigeria or like fucking I don't know like maybe like Morocco. How about Zimbabwe? Yeah, like a really out there third world country. You could be my support crew. Yeah, I'm down dude. Like We can go into the fucking water,
Starting point is 01:53:26 fucking drink that shit, get fucking sick as fuck, and come back to America. It'd be good. That's one plan. No, but actually, I would like to go there and just talk to all the little kids that are walking around with a leaf covering their crotch and just, I don't know, just livestream shit.
Starting point is 01:53:42 It'd be cool. I don't think they have 4G out there. Well, I don't know, just live stream shit. It'd be cool. I don't think they have 4G out there. Well, I mean, if they somehow get some sort of internet, it would be cool as fuck. So what is the tech like on your live stream? How do you do it? How do you get your GoPro on YouTube? What is the tech like?
Starting point is 01:54:00 I have a video encoder with an HDMI cable that I can plug into any camera, and you log into your YouTube account on the video encoder, and boom an hdmi cable i can plug into any camera and it just you log into your youtube account on the video encoder and boom it's just right there you're live okay is the phone involved you mentioned 4g a couple times well the video encoder uses 4g connection from a router and two modems that i'm using uh which is and it works really nicely i mean everything's cheap as fuck i mean relatively speaking it's like 900 for the whole get up okay for like really hd live stream so it's pretty good gear um i had a live stream idea that i think no one would watch i just want to do it once or twice for fun but 900 is a lot for a live stream with 18 people saying it's boring i don't
Starting point is 01:54:41 know what was your idea i wanted to live stream me flying around in my paramotor. From launch to fucking acro and do a couple near deaths and then land it and call it good. I had this idea with lifting myself up with balloons on a chair, so that's similar. I think it would be good. That's harder than you
Starting point is 01:54:59 think and helium is expensive. How much would it be? I was thinking like 20 fucking big ass balloons and you lift up and I'm wearing a a darth vader outfit i go fly across oh no you have to need way more than that i watched uh on a tv show they did it to a dwarf and they needed like uh but did they use 40 balloons 50 big balloons not like party balloons like big ones full of helium and even then it was kind of like a meh. This is something I was just looking into the other day. The helium's expensive, too. You're better off just renting a hot air balloon.
Starting point is 01:55:29 But you could just fill it with hydrogen. Oh, yeah. Healthy, safe hydrogen. Safe. You can go up there having yourself a smoke. You know? Oh, that's actually a good idea. I want to do that idea.
Starting point is 01:55:45 I want to lift myself up with balloons and have my friend walk me around with a rope on the ground and I'm like 20 feet in the air and he just walks me around the city while I'm floating. You know the people that put on this paramotor race through Africa? They also put on a balloon race.
Starting point is 01:56:01 And I have a link about it. And this is what the setup would look like. Holy shit. It happened earlier this year this is outrageous look at this balloon man yeah so what what do you what do you do nargil i'm a balloon man yeah they here it is they the latest race project balloons tied to a chair, race across Africa. Oh, my fucking God. Where's your spirit of adventure?
Starting point is 01:56:31 When you land, they're going to think you're some sort of war god and either sacrifice you and drink your blood to cure the AIDS or start worshipping you. I guess that's a possibility, but then you have to fuck the women and you get AIDS either way. Being worshipped is the only possible good way that's going to go if you come floating down with your magic gas on your lawn chair. They're going to chop off your goddamn arm and sell it on a meat cart to someone who's looking to fix their AIDS. If I just floated down, what would they say to me?
Starting point is 01:57:02 They would murder you. They would think you're like dying, you fucking god. How do you come to my tribe? What are you doing here? We're just doing a bit of a balloon race flowing through the old Africa here. I am not interested anymore.
Starting point is 01:57:18 I have a terrible case of AIDS. I must eat one of your arms post-haste. I need both of my arms, mate. You can't have them. But maybe back at the AIDS station, they could get you some immune pills. That'd be good for you. Some immune pills?
Starting point is 01:57:32 Yeah, for your immune system. You're a very squeaky Australian dude, aren't you? Well, I bet that's all the helium, mate. What would you guys do if you were just like fucking... One day you just woke up and you just got tested for AIDS and you had fucking AIDS? What would be the first reaction? I'd be upset. Well, you have to figure out who gave you the AIDS, right?
Starting point is 01:57:54 You figure out who gave you the AIDS and then you go get them, right? You go get them. No, no, you wouldn't kill them. You do something. Because they haven't exactly killed you. They've made the rest of your life really awful. So you do something to make the rest of their life really awful. You break their kneecap or something.
Starting point is 01:58:13 You put on a mask, of course. You don't want to have AIDS and be in jail. Give their parents AIDS. If you have AIDS in jail, are you less likely to be raped? No, you're more likely to be raped. What? How is that possible? That doesn't make any sense.
Starting point is 01:58:29 Rapists can smell it. They're like, how? Just explain that you're HIV positive and it seems like a lot of people would leave you alone. I bet actual rapists, though, because I bet that you're not the first person to be thinking of this. I'm sure people in the midst of being
Starting point is 01:58:43 tackled from the bushes are like, I'm HIV positive, I'm HIV positive. And they're just like, yeah, I bet that you're not the first person to be thinking of this. Like, I'm sure people in the midst of being, you know, tackled from the bushes are like, I'm HIV positive, I'm HIV positive. And there's like, yeah, I bet you are. Like, and then they just call the block. But you'd, like, go to the infirmary for treatment and stuff. Me too. Well, suddenly I don't feel too bad about this. If you had AIDS, you would have a lot of fucking power with, I don't know, you'd just have a lot of power.
Starting point is 01:59:03 Like, you could just, like, people just wouldn't want to fuck with you. Or just, I don't know. You just have a lot of power. You could just... People just wouldn't want to fuck with you or just... I don't know. If you were like... Think about if you were a rapist with AIDS, you would be like the walking fucking Satan. You're like a walking biological weapon. Yeah, you're absolutely right. Charlie Sheen wasn't
Starting point is 01:59:19 a rapist, but he had sex with a lot of people knowing he had AIDS. A lot of men, too. Charlie was fucking some dudes. Yeah, that's how you aids you know you don't get aids from fucking bitches you get aids from from from from fucking men like charlie sheen does when he smokes those three grand rocks i know i've heard that like you'll you only get it from having sex with guys how true is that that's like 95 true there's some poor guy out there who's like no i really i fucked a chick she gave me aids like there's the one guy out there who's like, no, I fucked a chick.
Starting point is 01:59:45 She gave me AIDS. There's the one guy, and if I ever get AIDS, I'll be like, I fucked a chick. He gave me AIDS. But the reverse is not true. So women can get sex by having sex with an AIDS guy because they're the receivers. But guys generally don't get AIDS from having sex with women. Yeah, and women generally would never get AIDS
Starting point is 02:00:04 from having sex with another woman Yeah, and women generally would never get AIDS from having sex with another woman. How does that happen? You've got to be really rubbing those things together hard to... I guess that makes sense because most people with HIV are male because gay guys aren't fucking straight women
Starting point is 02:00:19 and giving them AIDS. They're fucking other men. I didn't know that. Why are gay guys the ones with AIDS? Because they put it in each other's butts and the inside of your butt is very thin, absorbent tissue. So if anything goes in there,
Starting point is 02:00:36 you absorb it and you get it. It's also Christ's way of punishing sin. And the blacks. And what I read was that there's more likely to be a little tearing and stuff in anal sex than vaginal sex. And that can lead to the fluid transfer too. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:00:51 AIDS came from like a monkey. A guy fucked a monkey a long time ago. Close. A guy ate monkey brains. Infected monkey brains. How do we know that? He ate monkey brains and then he was gay
Starting point is 02:01:05 and then he fucked other gay dudes and it just started from there? Yeah. A gay monkey brain connoisseur. Did the monkey have to be gay? You said it was a gay monkey brain, so maybe that implies it's a gay monkey. Some monkeys are gay.
Starting point is 02:01:24 Taylor, monkey expert? I'm sure some of them are. Where's Filthy when we need him? I could not imagine fucking a monkey. That would be hard. Really? I thought you'd be down. You're going to have to have sex with one animal. Which animal are you going to have sex with?
Starting point is 02:01:42 Probably a dog or a snake or something. A snake? animal what which animal you're gonna have sex with probably i don't know it'd probably be like a dog or like a fucking like a like a snake or something a snake yeah that's an interesting choice i'd never that wouldn't have been on my list a snake you can you know fucking stretch it like a big ass like flashlight and you just you know stick your dick inside of it which i guess it looks the least like an animal you stick your dick in the snake's mouth. Yeah, I mean, it might bite you, but don't get a venomous snake.
Starting point is 02:02:10 You stretch it out so it can fit your dick in there, and then it just goes large. But if it couldn't be a reptile, it'd probably be just like a... No, not a dog. It'd probably be like a pig or something. Because pigs are really intelligent animals, so they would know what's going on, and if they like it,
Starting point is 02:02:24 they can just have you ever seen that video of the pig fucking the chick no no i don't yeah yeah yeah it's a video of a pig fucking a chick it's it's all it's it's been over the internet for decades uploaded it yeah it's over on my youtube channel it's's private and everything. I recognize that room. Yeah, no, they're in a barn, and the chick's on her hands and knees naked, and the pig's mounting her, fucking her. And I learned in ag class, agricultural class, that pigs' penises are actually shaped like a corkscrew.
Starting point is 02:02:58 They're all spirally and crazy. And he's giving her a good rogering in this video. And it's not a lot of fun to watch. It's pretty bizarre. So, would you pick pig? Is that what you're saying, Kyle? Absolutely not. Of course, it depends.
Starting point is 02:03:16 Am I getting fucked by the animal, or am I fucking the animal? Of course not. You're fucking the animal. Well, if I'm fucking an animal, I think you want to go look the tried and true goat the Arab world has spoken the goat is your way to go apparently
Starting point is 02:03:32 they're readily available they have roughly human sized vaginas you know I mean if you fuck a horse or a cow like they're always shitting on their own pussies and it's all gross back there the goat could like fucking use it's all gross back there. The goat could, like, fucking use its horn. Like, hit your ball sack or something.
Starting point is 02:03:49 You put its head when it's locked gates. You know, the head goes through. Like they put pilgrims in. Pilgrims, huh? You know. Oh, that's a stock. Yeah, yeah. Stockade, yeah.
Starting point is 02:04:00 Yeah, yeah. That was my class project in, like, fifth grade. I made a stockade. You still have that next to your sex swing? No, yeah. That was my class project in fifth grade. I made a stockade. You still have that next to your sex swing? No, no. I kept it for a long time. It was really cool. It was so fucking bullshit. Let me tell you what happened. I don't know if this is a good story or not, but me and my dad made my stockade, right? We used two-by-sixes and four-by-four posts, and we painted it, and it was okay. It had door hinges to make the thing go, and we we painted it and it it was okay okay it had like door hinges to make
Starting point is 02:04:26 the thing go and you know we sized it for for me because you know i was doing the project and i was in the stockade talking about stockades it was it was a great thing heather stone who was in a wheelchair in a wheelchair her daddy made her one that looked like he hired a team of fucking carpenters to make it was you could have put someone in this thing for real it looked like a legitimate stockade it was this thick black wood that looked old-timey it was big enough to put a grown man in and they show up in fucking class with this thing and totally upstage me i was livid did you feel like a bitch such Such the bitch! But it was like, that chick can't
Starting point is 02:05:08 even get herself to the bathroom. You're telling me she constructed that fucking 200 pound stockade? Horseshit, Dr. Stone. And nobody can call her on it because you can't call out a cooking girl. I called her on it. And I also called her on the fact that she had those rotten teeth even though her daddy was a dentist. What was up with
Starting point is 02:05:23 that, Dr. Stone? You couldn't fix those rotten shit even though her daddy was a dentist. What was up with that, Dr. Stone? You couldn't fix those rotten shit-mouthed teeth your daughter had? What was her disability? Why was she in a wheelchair? Arthritis. Maybe that impacted her ability to brush. She sounds like a real terror. The last thing you'd want to give a girl with horrible teeth with a dentist for a dad and crippled, useless legs
Starting point is 02:05:42 is the joy of winning a menial competition she doesn't need it how you could go you know prance around meadows and stuff you have legs that work we learned our lesson from that day when it was solar oven time the whole family chipped in we made us so i showed up to school with a solar oven that was capable of cooking a whole goddamn pizza. Everybody else
Starting point is 02:06:07 is sitting around and theirs wouldn't work. Mine had this big locking glass lid on it. I'm over the, you know, aluminum foil and insulation
Starting point is 02:06:14 on the inside. You could cook, you could boil water in my fucking solar oven. It was outrageous. I'm about to go to the sun and eat some crippled
Starting point is 02:06:21 rotten piece of bitch. Hey, so I want to ask, I want you, you fucking bitch. Hey, so I want to ask Kyle a question. Dude, why did you stop making videos of you shooting shit? A lot of reasons, right? I'm curious. I loved
Starting point is 02:06:38 watching you blow shit up. I thought it was fucking cool. Overhead's crazy, for one thing. Like the overhead for making one of the videos and now youtube monetization uh demonetization that makes it real hard um i've always had uh like rules and regulations imposed on me that no other like gun youtube channel had imposed on them with the licensing that i had to have so like if arnold schwarzenegger is making another terminator movie they don't say hey arnold you need a federal explosives license.
Starting point is 02:07:07 He's like, oh, we've got the guy. He comes and he's got the license. And I just, I shoot the fake gun. He doesn't need a fucking license. But they tell me that I do. And so there's just years of licensing that I've been going through to try to like get enough license
Starting point is 02:07:22 to be able to do the kind of videos that I want to make. Because I don't want to make shitty videos. I like blowing up cars that are 40 yards away from me and having traffic flying around. And you can't do that without an explosive license. And so, yeah, a bunch of reasons. What if you just uploaded the video without getting the license? You'd get in serious legal trouble.
Starting point is 02:07:43 Like they could come after me. Would they actually, though? They have better shit to do no they don't yeah yeah they absolutely see that's the that's that's what i'm talking about with them like zeroing in on me when they don't other youtubers like like i've been warned by like federal agencies and and like district attorneys and stuff that like don't do this or we'll come and get you you know like so they're they're very serious about it so just can't but um i have some plans And district attorneys and stuff that like, don't do this or we'll come and get you. So they're very serious about it. So just can't. But I have some plans for next year that are going to be pretty interesting.
Starting point is 02:08:16 Where do you even buy a fucking RPG or a big ass tank or some shit? Where do you get that? It depends on what you're talking about. I've never done an RPG. I've got a law rocket launcher that shoots training rounds. They're 37mm Law Rockets with a little bit of explosive in them. I got that from a collector. The rockets are hard to find, but I know one of the few guys in the
Starting point is 02:08:32 country that has a supply of them. They're $250 a shot. I've shot four of them before, I think. It's pretty fucking expensive. With a tank, though, the laws around tanks are interesting. If the tank doesn't have a live-firing cannon
Starting point is 02:08:48 in it, then it's just a vehicle. It's just a big car or a big truck. There's collectors, these millionaire dudes who are aficionados, collectors of World War II stuff. Like I said, they're millionaires, so they just
Starting point is 02:09:03 collect tanks. Most of them don't have live-firing tanks, but I know a guy who has live-firing tanks, and to do that, first you have to have enough money to buy a $300,000 Sherman tank or whatever from the EC-8, and then you have to get yourself that license that I'm talking about,
Starting point is 02:09:19 and then you have to get another license, a Type 10 Manufacturer of Destructive Devices license, which is very difficult to get. I've had one. And so then you have to make that tank a live breach. You have to rebuild, because you can't just go buy
Starting point is 02:09:36 a new cannon for the tank. You have to have an engineer come in who's an expert at this sort of thing and fabricate a cannon for you. And then you have to produce your own explosive shells which requires both the type 10 and the federal explosive license in conjunction working together so a lot of hoops to jump that sounds like yeah that sounds like way too complicated a lot easier to just go out on the street and be like all right we got some hobos here we're gonna
Starting point is 02:10:00 pay them to to eat hot peppers so I mean I'm trying to think like I've shot guns on my stream illegally before like we'll just shoot guns like in a park somewhere and nobody gives a shit like I've never gotten like shit for that so yeah maybe don't roll those dice again I've like shot fireworks like off like roofs and shit like in the middle of the street and shit like i don't know nobody seems to care but i guess it's different like i'm not using a tank blowing a car up but yeah tanks are fun tanks are fun because it's like i i was i like the history channel growing up as a kid like before it became rednecks and aliens or whatever
Starting point is 02:10:42 the fuck it is now yeah yeah so like i i'm really interested in like world war ii history and and like to be able to like get down into one of those world war ii tanks and like it's all the same way it was for like those poor fucking guys that went off and fought the nazis and it's just shit this is all like the same way it was back then like i got in a russian armored personnel carrier and the gauges glow in the dark. And today they use an element called tritium to make things light up like that or they just use
Starting point is 02:11:11 electronics or something like that or they use fiber optics and stuff to light up the gauges. Back then they used radium which is a radioactive element that's active. So when I'm looking at the gauges of this armor personnel carrier glowing in the dark while I'm in it all shut up with the hatch closed,
Starting point is 02:11:30 it's glowing like Homer Simpson's style with radiation. So, like, I don't know. That's some of my favorite shit that I've done. It's, like, gotten down into pieces of history like that. Yeah, that's cool, man. Yeah, but to answer your question, we're going to do some cool things on that channel next year year I've got a lot of good ideas I'm gonna do some stuff I said we're to have you been following the phase drama that's top I
Starting point is 02:11:55 read it today oh with him and his fucking girlfriend or some shit him and his girlfriend went to like a bar nightclub type thing. I'm going to lay it out. I think I've got all my facts right. He and his girlfriend went to this nightclub, I'll call it. It was towards the end of the night. They were closing down. His girlfriend went to the restroom and Ice waited outside in a place where he wasn't supposed to be.
Starting point is 02:12:19 Apparently that's where they count the money and stuff. It's by the office. Wait, Ice did this? Did I say Ice? I think it's FaZe Banks. Does that sound right? Definitely a FaZe dude. I have no idea. I think it's FaZe Banks.
Starting point is 02:12:31 Yeah. So it's one of the professional Counter-Strike players. I think he was more of a COD guy. Most of the FaZe guys, like the old school ones, have moved into vlogging. So anyway, he's in the spot and the security goes down there and says hey like would you move you're not supposed to stand in this spot um because this is a woman in the office counting money getting nervous about male voices where they don't belong and uh they have security cam footage and you can see that
Starting point is 02:12:59 the guard is like hey you know can you move away? And he's dancing and not responding like you're supposed to when someone says this is a restricted area. And somewhere he starts walking away, and then he puts the security guard in a headlock, and then a bunch of security guards come around and semi-forcefully take him up the stairs. He put him in a playful playful headlock but he was drunk and you're a security guy so of course you don't take it playfully you take it like get the
Starting point is 02:13:29 fuck off me it was really bad footage like you could see like they would the security cameras at the top of stairs so you're looking down through like handrails and stuff you can't make out playful or not um there's some sort of either way it fucking kind of seems like a stupid thing to do yeah so there's a scuffle there and then the security guard gets either way it fucking kind of seems like a stupid thing to do yeah so there's a scuffle there and then the security guard gets back up and they kind of all push him up but it's not like they're beating him like a woman in a baseball stadium they they're just kind of all pushing him so that he has no choice but to walk out towards the doors so his girlfriend and his girlfriend's mom is there the mom like apologizes for their behavior and they send him outside.
Starting point is 02:14:06 While they're outside, they get in like two more fights. Faze Banks throws a glass. It doesn't hit anything, but it looked like he attempted to throw like a shot glass or something, maybe bigger whiskey glass at someone. There was some sort of scuffle and Faze Banks reaches over and punches a guy in the back of the head. But then he retold the story in his vlogs. Like he's the victim and the hero. You know, like these guys were terrible to me and then I valiantly defended my girlfriend.
Starting point is 02:14:37 Valiantly defended myself by punching a guy in the back of the head. I mean, I guess when you're, I mean, it's just good drama for YouTube and stuff. That's kind of what they go for. I mean, I feel like the situation was so – like a small situation. Everyone just blew it up just for views or whatever. I mean – So his fan base, he made some vlogs talking about how terrible this place was, how the security roughed him up and treated him poorly. talking about how terrible this place was,
Starting point is 02:15:03 how the security like roughed them up and treated them poorly. And they're like destroying him on Yelp and Google reviews and they're sending text messages to them. And they're just really online bullying these people. But it's their business, right? So when you online bully a business, you're impacting the way someone makes a living.
Starting point is 02:15:19 It's not quite the same as like mean Facebook posts. Some mean Yelp posts might mean they don't get customers and uh so the guy made a video defending himself with security footage proving his points all along and it got like at the top of reddit today and it got a lot of attention i was i don't know it seemed like he's in the same neighborhood i mean good on that guy i mean uh yeah well i mean i've been in some bad situations. I've almost been sued by a few businesses because of some shit. I mean, when it's live, people don't really know it's live sometimes.
Starting point is 02:15:52 And I walk into a business, one of the employees will be rude, and then people will one-star them on Yelp or something, and then I'll get the flack for it, and I'll have to deal with the business emailing me, telling them they're going to sue me, and I have to try and make it right. Sometimes it sucks. I tell them, sorry, nothing I can do.
Starting point is 02:16:11 Other times I go in there and try to make it right. I ended up working for one of these businesses. I went and live streamed a charity event working there for an hour. Really? Yeah, to try to make it better. This other time this i was threatened by a mobster or some shit and he's he worked there and then he ended up going back talking to the owner and he said the that guy got fired and you know i just apologized and he apologized
Starting point is 02:16:37 and i've heard of that story i never knew the ending of it so the owner came back and got the owner came back and yeah they they fired the guy who's just you know i guess a manager and he's just like talking out of his ass i mean i don't blame the bit like him or the businesses in any of these situations because i know when they get a bunch of phone calls it's like hey the guy with the camera is gonna fucking rob your store you know people are just trolling them so i don't i don't blame them like i feel bad for any business that ever gets any negative impacts because i know it's like they just don't understand. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 02:17:07 Yeah, I do. So mine's smaller than you, but people used to have pizzas and shit delivered to my house a lot. And they'd order expensive orders. You know, they'd have eight pizzas delivered. Or they'd configure one pizza in a way that it costs like $65 for a pizza. Like you order the works, but you get every topping individually, and they just really maximize the price, thinking that I was going to be like on the hook for this pizza,
Starting point is 02:17:32 when what really happened is I'd just answer and be like, I don't know anything about this. Please don't take orders for this address unless they pay in advance. And then people do that. They buy prepaid pizzas and have them sent to my house. And that sounds awesome right yeah you know sometimes you're not in the mood for pizza they don't like oftentimes
Starting point is 02:17:51 i stream after dinner and pizzas are just showing up when i'm full and i mean you can sometimes i mean i would just take the pizza and just throw it some like just put it on the counter or just you do something with it like i don't know i'd have a slice or two just you know to make them feel involved it's kind of a gift i feel like i'd be rude not to have a slice or two you fuck the pizza yeah i mean i've had a sausage i've had food come by that i don't really want either that people will pay for and we'll just i'll just throw it off like the balcony uh my apartment or i'll just like like I'll just throw it into the street. We had this game where we tried to throw shit and hit the other building.
Starting point is 02:18:29 I don't know. We make a game out of it. It's fun. How do you get along with your neighbors? They hate me, dude. I've been evicted four times this year. Everyone hates me. You've been evicted four times this year? Well, evicted. They just tell me to leave.
Starting point is 02:18:44 I don't actually get evicted on my record but they're like alright you gotta go you gotta get out of here and then you just a week later you're still there a week later I'm gone so I don't want an eviction on my record but this place I just moved into my neighbors seem to be okay because they can't hear me because this place is really well built
Starting point is 02:19:00 but the main issue is I'm usually loud as fuck my second apartment got evicted for throwing fire off the balcony into the street and landed on a tree which is fucking stupid but it was an accident we're supposed to light we're supposed to light of a t-shirt and put it on the balcony and like roast marshmallows on the balcony but the person who lit the t-shirt just threw it off the balcony and it landed on a tree and we had to go put it out so they evicted us for that uh first place i got evicted because i think they knew we're throwing shit off the balcony and it landed on a tree and we had to go put it out. So they evicted us for that. First place I got evicted because I think they knew we were throwing shit off the balcony
Starting point is 02:19:27 and into the street. It was just a pile of burned clothes. All under your... Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Pretty much. And then the third place I got evicted for playing music too loud and walking
Starting point is 02:19:44 too loud on the fucking floor because I guess it was built really poorly and they could just hear us fucking bang and walk. You do walk loudly. We could hardly do an ad read when you were walking. It wasn't that bad, was it? I want to talk about the CX party. I saw you talking about renting that $10,000 a night house
Starting point is 02:20:03 and selling tickets. And the stream was being shitty as fuck because they were like, ah, you'll never renting that $10,000 a night house and selling tickets. And the stream was being shitty as fuck because they were like, ah, you'll never sell that many tickets. We've done paintball events. I did one by myself on my channel years ago. And I got like 180 people to come and spend like $100 each. And we've done them as a podcast here. And we get like, I don't know, 75, 80 people to to come and spend $100, $150 each just to play paintball.
Starting point is 02:20:29 These are kids who don't necessarily have a ton of disposable income. They're getting their parents to make this happen. I don't see any reason why you couldn't sell $50 tickets when there's booze and food included and a big-ass fucking mansion and the experience of you know the the live streamed party yeah i i i am not worried about selling at least 200 tickets to make my money back i mean it's 50 is like a normal price for like a good club and i i think that's you know for free booze it's just a fucking steal and it's just good content for me and it's fun for everyone and it's yeah i don't know it's i think it's going to be some crazy shit like it's just good content for me and it's fun for everyone and it's yeah i don't know it's i think it's going to be some crazy shit like it's going to be really good that house is
Starting point is 02:21:09 badass it's like a castle yeah i mean 10 grand fucking day but hey if it works out dude this event is definitely gonna be the biggest event that i've done yet so you're gonna land in a helicopter is that the plan i'm going to try and get a helicopter. I was looking up some prices, and it's like two grand and shit. It's pricey, but I think it'd be worth it just to be able to put in the title of my YouTube highlight, fucking helicopter. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. I think it would just make it more memorable.
Starting point is 02:21:43 Yeah. Do you ever do any like branded integrations like like you know you go to the helicopter company and you and you like pitch them the whole thing like hey your your logo is going to be on there you're going to be delivered by like prestige helicopters like well i have my uh my manager trying to like get a company that will just give us a helicopter for free but i don't think think my fan base markets people who would want to buy a helicopter. I don't know. Maybe. It depends what they're doing with the helicopter.
Starting point is 02:22:11 If it's helicopter tours of LA, I know that's a thing. That's the kind of company that I would approach. The people who do the helicopter tours. I've done videos with helicopters and the bit was there's helicopter hog hunting in Texas where you get in a chopper and he flies you over pigs and you machine gun them.
Starting point is 02:22:28 Those guys would give us helicopters for free and X amount of flight hours. It's like $600 an hour or something like that. We'd get two helicopters at times. They'd always throw that shit in if you can make it seem like it's worth their while.
Starting point is 02:22:46 That's actually good. I did not think about hitting up a tour company or something. I'll definitely have to look into that. I'm probably going to do it in Florida or something anyways. I think most companies in Florida are just going to be small as fuck, and they're going to just do anything. They'll be like, oh, yeah, sure, why not? Because Florida just has really small companies everywhere. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 02:23:03 No, that sounds like a badass idea. I like using Airbnb and VRBO and shit like that when we go places. And I'm always looking at the places that are like a grand a night. And for a grand a night, you get a literal mansion. So for 10 grand a night, that's one of the biggest houses I've ever seen.
Starting point is 02:23:17 That's like some Tom Cruise shit. Well, I wanted to get an Airbnb, but they don't let you throw a party and I'd get sued. And I want to do it for New Year's. We have plenty of time, but I don't know. Hopefully we just sell enough tickets. 200 doesn't seem like
Starting point is 02:23:33 really out there fucking number. I agree. Especially if you've already started promoting it now and talking about it. If it was spur of the moment, it might be hard, but that'd be fucking cool. I look forward to seeing that. All of my events have been spur of the moment, it might be hard, but that'd be fucking cool. I look forward to seeing that. All of my events have been spur of the moment. Literally four or five days in advance
Starting point is 02:23:50 for promotion, that's it. When did the fear factor had about 50, 60 people show up four days in advance when I promoted it? I think it'll be good. Yeah, I'm excited to see that. That'd be fucking cool. It's neat to me that he's running a business over there.
Starting point is 02:24:10 Am I selling tickets? I'm watching the business, like the entrepreneur in you, but you're also... People doubt this shit, dude. You're a pretty wacky guy, right? So the entrepreneur combined with who Ice is, is like, you know, I think I'll just rent a $10,000 house and throw a giant party and get people to pepper spray themselves and paintball. The stuff you do isn't normal business stuff, but it's working for you. I like it.
Starting point is 02:24:36 I'm going to get to see a lot of cock that night. Oh, so much cock. Yeah. It's good shit. It's funny. I mean, I don't know i i when i was younger i wanted to be a like a business person like going the business or anything i have my business degree um but uh yeah i mean i don't know it's not really it's just fun to be honest but if i can
Starting point is 02:24:56 make my money back and have fun for free hey that's the fucking ideal situation you may as well yeah that's awesome taylor have you been on the subreddit this week other than the female versions of ourselves? No, not really. What is on there? Somebody posted, I guess, the Sarah XXX girl. They were talking
Starting point is 02:25:18 to her and she was like, have you talked to Kyle or whatever? She said something like, whenever he gets the balls to message me. I didn't like that very much so like it sounds like this is pretty tongue in cheek right well you know in the moment she's like a fucking
Starting point is 02:25:34 madman with this shit yeah yeah her exact words were she said maybe when he grows the balls to actually message me rather than sending his subscribers my way and I was like ah i don't i don't like that so i wrote a rather nasty reply on the on the subreddit and i called her a bad name and 30 minutes later she's replied and she took the high ground and i immediately knew i i had fucked up She was like, ah, surprised you would call me that.
Starting point is 02:26:06 That kind of took me by surprise. Blah, blah, blah, this and that. And I was like, ah, shit, she's right. There's a Wings dig in here. Yeah. Is there? I'm just saying, Wings first rule, don't put the putty on the pedestal.
Starting point is 02:26:21 That's what I said. Rule number two, resist the urge to eat any of your girlfriend's many children. That doesn't apply here. That was my reply here. Read the whole thing, because I don't have it in front of me. You see, boys, this is what happens when you break Wing's first rule. Don't put the pussy on the pedestal.
Starting point is 02:26:38 Rule number two is, resist the urge to eat any of your girlfriend's children, but that doesn't apply here. Honestly, if that's her attitude, I'm not interested. No worries, but we'll find a new cam whore to fixate on. Do you want me to read her reply? Yes, you may read it. I just finished reading hers. Hers is better.
Starting point is 02:26:54 Yes, it is! Well, I guess this will be our first interaction, and I hoped it would be a little better than this, but I'd like to add some context to the joke I made privately. Basically, what I was trying to convey is that I'd be interested in Kyle, the who, not the what. So far, it's just been FPS Russia, who has a lot
Starting point is 02:27:10 of fans that have been relaying messages, which is fun, sure, but I don't think anyone could reasonably expect me to do anything with that. My point being, the same way you don't know enough about who I am as a person to have me on the show, which, as I said before, is totally fair, I don't know anything about you to tell your fans,
Starting point is 02:27:27 show you a good time. I'd have been more happy to talk about, to talk to you and find out that private message wasn't intended and demeaning in any way, quite the opposite being called a cam whore right away. Wasn't something I was expecting. I still think you're cute and funny and know how to keep a podcast podcast entertaining with those wild ideas, but I must say
Starting point is 02:27:46 the 180 flip took me by surprise. Side note. Having followed PKA for a little bit now, it seems you guys just have quite the community. However, reading comments like, just let us know, Kyle, and we'll take her out, got me a little worried. Yeah, the murder threats. I can see why she doesn't like the murder threats. Oh, so
Starting point is 02:28:01 there was a cam girl that went on your podcast and she got threats? No, well, there's a girl her username is xxx on Reddit and she does nude pictures and gifs and videos and stuff like that. She's just asking for it.
Starting point is 02:28:18 She got the death threat because of that comment that I wrote to her. You want to read my final reply to her. So then I, you want to read my final reply to her? If you scroll down. So she replies to that too.
Starting point is 02:28:29 Okay. I apologize for the cam horror comment. I suppose digital muse is much more polite. I didn't care for the ball growing thing, though. Kind of a turnoff. Oh, and disregard that we'll take her out comment.
Starting point is 02:28:40 He's just being silly. She wrote, Hey, thanks. I appreciate that smiley face as for my comment yeah i probably should have phrased that differently i didn't mean it the way it was perceived but i realize it's not exactly a good excuse my apologies she took the high road the high road she took the high road uh yeah did a good job digging yourself back out of that hole
Starting point is 02:28:59 but it was only possible because she was so cool in handling it that way. Agreed. Yes, I agree all the way around. But, you know, she added me on Snapchat, and we've cleared it all up. I've been talking to her a little bit. Very nice young lady. I apologize profusely for using that dirty word. So I'm glad we got that all sorted out. Yeah. That's a slur.
Starting point is 02:29:27 Just like Pocahontas and the N-word. Yeah, yeah. All slurs. Cam whore. Yeah, I should have said that. She's not a cam whore. Just say cam girl. That's the preferred thing, right? I was trying to be nasty, you know?
Starting point is 02:29:38 I know you were trying to be nasty. I'm making you say it. I was taking the lowest road I could and being an asshole. Yeah, it was a low blow. That's what I was going for. It's okay to be an asshole to a cam girl, like in most situations.
Starting point is 02:29:56 Well, we like her. Yeah, I think Sarah's on the nice list, not the naughty list. I'm a big fan. I like her. Have you actually given her some of the who and not not the naughty list. I'm a big fan. I like her. Have you actually given her some of the who and not just the what yet? Inside this
Starting point is 02:30:12 seemingly thin body is just a ruined mess of Taco Bell and fast food and a lot of feelings and heart. We talked about some normal stuff. I showed her my steak prowess. My
Starting point is 02:30:27 cooking skills. What did she show you? Nothing he hasn't seen before. Right? Where do you go from where we already are? Unless she shows me her spleen.
Starting point is 02:30:44 To be fair, I'm more interested in to see like if she's got a beautiful personality to match you know the best of her which is obviously beautiful and so far so good so yeah i'm glad we got that all worked out um and uh and sort of and when you first mentioned the the steak thing i was like ah dull but it's like actually wait a minute that's that's a talent that people appreciate. She might be thinking I could eat that someday. Yeah, well, she mentioned that she liked
Starting point is 02:31:12 steak, and I was like, ah, you were in luck. And she's a big Lord of the Rings fan, Taylor. Keep your hands off, though. Really? Yeah. Oh, add me on Snapchat. I'll add her on Snapchat. Oh, she's a big Lord of the Rings fan.
Starting point is 02:31:27 You know what? That's the best thing you've said yet about her. I'm going to ruin it. She's a Hobbit fan. Oh, never mind. That's how you know that it's a no-go if she's a Hobbit fan. If she likes Lord of the Rings, she probably doesn't like Hobbit that much. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:31:45 So that's safe. I'm looking at a bunch of her naked pictures right now. These are pretty great. I'm just a real big fan. Yeah. Yep. I shouldn't be staring at all these right now. That's not good for the show.
Starting point is 02:32:00 I mean, it's good for you, and then if you fuck it, I mean, right? Four hours flies by. It's good it's good you know for you and then if you fuck it I mean right four hours flies but it's good for me but the people out there probably want us to get back to talking about dicks and yeah I have a topic I don't know if it works well with with ice but have you followed the Conor McGregor
Starting point is 02:32:19 McGregor drama what's the drama oh my god so I have a video. We can watch the first two and a half minutes of it and they lay it out there really well. Is this Brennan Schwab on Rogan's show talking about...
Starting point is 02:32:36 That's exactly it. Oh, I'm glad you got this. I was going to suggest this, but I forgot. Yeah, this is good stuff right here. I hope this is all true. I hope this is all true. This is a movie. This is a movie. So queue up at zero and let me know when you're there and there is there any background you got to give for this uh no they do it well netflix has a movie coming out with martin scorsese's making called the irishman i don't care about that i want a completely different movie called the irishman that's just just about what they're about to lay out there.
Starting point is 02:33:05 So all you need to know before this thing starts, the rumors are Conor McGregor got into a bar fight, and then they lay out much more than I knew. Ready, set, play. What did Conor do? Did he just get in a brawl in a bar? Is that real? Oh, so, you know, in Dana White's scrim, he goes,
Starting point is 02:33:23 listen, if it was that big big there'd be more video of it Dan goes doesn't seem like that big of a deal to fight a bar like a normal thing I know in Dublin and that are blowing me up or saying dude It's real Connor's a bit of trouble because he has a friend from one area of Ireland That's in this mafia and that got beat up by these guys Connor finds out the guys who beat up his friend are in this bar so connor comes in there beats the hell out of that guy well that guy's associated with this you know pretty intense mafia family over there so now there's a hit out on connor is what they're saying what yes for 900 grand what now how much is that is true how much of it is speculating yeah holy and because on my podcast i i, you know, why is it that big of a deal though?
Starting point is 02:34:14 Like that's just normal like especially in Ireland really fucking fight Promotion that they just monster doesn't seem to care. So listen, they're talking about how dangerous this game is he's dealing with gnarly dudes whoa but then uh again i guess in dublin especially conor being who he is you can have these associations with this underground world stuff like that we're trying to say about dublin bro it's awesome i've ever been okay never mind yeah he might actually die then yeah yeah i don't know what to believe i don't know the ins and outs of it i don't you know and dana again said this thing is scrum it's always fascinating when dan does those scrums because it's all hearsay stuff like that but then they go you know what's next for connor you gotta fight for me he goes listen man guy's 100 million dollars in the bank fighting sucks yeah i don't know if he's ever gonna get all right we'll pause it here
Starting point is 02:35:01 so so while we were talking he said that these guys, like, murdered people in the crowds. Like, they'd hold a boxing promotion and kill a guy, like, in front of everyone. That they're just bad dudes not afraid of anything. And I don't know. My impression of mafia guys, regardless of whether it's Irish or Italian or Russian, is not that they're, like, incredible fighters.
Starting point is 02:35:24 It's just that they're willing to be silly violent. They go straight to shooting. They go straight to baseball bats. When normal people are still doing the chest pushing thing, stage of a build-up. I don't know. I'm assuming he didn't know it was a mobster when he got into a fight with him, huh?
Starting point is 02:35:40 I don't know what he knew. I don't know what's true. I've heard this story retold where connor needs to pay 900 grand for forgiveness right so so the 900 grand number was consistent but in one case it was a hit on him in the other it was like uh what would you call that a ransom type thing so a payoff to get back i mean good graces honestly i'd probably just move out of the fucking country and just say, fuck you guys.
Starting point is 02:36:08 Just go do my own thing. And if there's people out to get him, if I was him, there's people out to get me, I'd probably feel flattered by that. Like, okay, people are actively trying to murder me. I'm going to run away from you. It makes life more interesting.
Starting point is 02:36:23 I've never thought about it like that being hated enough or cared about enough to be murderable it's a little touchy i think later in this thing they explained connor's reaction was he has a brand new baby it's i don't know eight nine months old or something uh he wanted to get his his wife fiance i don't know d and his baby out of the country. That was what he was trying to do. But then he just showed up at like traffic court today or something. He had to, right? But that's
Starting point is 02:36:53 risky business if there's a $900,000 hit on you. So I don't know what the scoop is. Don't you want to see this movie where he's just like rapping. They kill his wife and kid, of course. Sorry, that's what happens. Of course, that's in the first couple minutes. And then he's just rapping those kill his wife and kid of course sorry that's what happens and then he's just wrapping those hands up you know
Starting point is 02:37:09 and he's just beating mobsters to death come on this would be great this would be the best movie ever the Irishman it could be pretty good it'd be called The Notorious right no there's already a movie called notorious and
Starting point is 02:37:26 that's got that's about biggie if uh if there was a hit on you guys would you just uh would you like pay the ransom or would you just say fuck you feel flattered by it and go do and like get away from it i'd spend a lot of time scared in my house with my guns is what i would do right what if i built a tower on the house so i could see from all directions like uh like those koreans like an observatory la riots yeah yeah and i just sat up there with binoculars that guy had the sickest mustache it would uh it would be a good talking point you could tell people that you have a hit on you and uh i think it'd make conversations more interesting if somebody was gonna take a hit out on you guys,
Starting point is 02:38:05 what would it be for? If you heard, dude, this guy's got a half a million dollar hit on you, what does your mind go to of like, oh, it's probably for this? I probably fucked his girlfriend. That's a lot of money for one girl. I don't know what else I could do. I'm not going to fight people. I guess I could call him an asshole or something,
Starting point is 02:38:26 and he might get offended by that. So, I mean, the worst I could probably do is have sexual intercourse with his girlfriend, knowing that she had a boyfriend, but I just don't really give a fuck. And hopefully she's not a tranny, by the way. Hopefully not, but, you know, sometimes it's a roll of the dice.
Starting point is 02:38:43 I had a guy, I forget if he threatened to kill me or rape me but he he did that and he uploaded it to youtube while he was driving like that was he made like a little quick quick hit vlog while he's driving around saying that he was gonna kill or rape me and uh to teach me a lesson and um he was a he was real red and he was real redneck, I'm trying to say. And he seemed very upset. It was during the... I did this thing, sort of like a men's rights thing, saying that when men are beaten,
Starting point is 02:39:16 it's a similar kind of PTSD to a woman being raped. And I think I even said that it's worse if the rape is consensual because... Not consensual, like a date rape situation because there she's usually not physically damaged because of course vaginas are built for penises and whereas a guy is physically damaged and they both have the same kind of after effect
Starting point is 02:39:35 where they're distrustful of people, they don't want to go in the dark alley and people took that I took like I was pro-rape and this guy uploaded a video saying that i forget if he was gonna rate me or kill me i'm not i'm not positive but he was so against rape that he was willing to give it one go just to convince you that you're wrong yeah i'm not usually a rapist but you sir like you're going around i've had a lot of death threats that one even though
Starting point is 02:40:04 it wasn't that credible was the most credible of them and uh yeah he said he was going to do that but i didn't take it that seriously fuck him you you just ignored it like oh he might kill me whatever uh it was kind of a like you know where i live i'll see you then you know like that was my thought process uh i mean yeah i mean that's about right if you have guns as well at your house that's totally fine about right um i've had people threaten to kill me as well but they're all fake bullshit it's not real no one's ever made a video about it i think the worst thing was people make like craigslist ads and i had this guy walk in my house uh so he somebody made a craigslist ad saying uh come fuck my Like hey I'm a girl
Starting point is 02:40:46 My name is Caroline come fuck me That's how girls talk And uh My girlfriend is Caroline And I was with her in the kitchen And this dude like who's already in the house And we just came back we left the door unlocked We came back from the grocery store
Starting point is 02:41:01 We're in the kitchen dude comes downstairs He's already in the house upstairs walking around and shit. Comes downstairs. We just stare each other in the eyes. He's like fat Mexican dude with fucking face tats. And he's just, we're just staring at each other in the eye. And he's like, the Craigslist ad? And he's like staring at my girlfriend.
Starting point is 02:41:16 I'm like, no. It's fake. It's bullshit. You're not here. Are you here to fuck her? And he's like, yeah. And I'm like, well, it's fucking bullshit, dude. You got here like are you here to fuck her and he's like yeah i'm like well it's fucking bullshit dude you got to go and it was a scary situation because tattoos
Starting point is 02:41:30 yeah i thought he was gonna pull out a knife and kill me i thought that was it dude i thought like i literally if he pulled out a knife i'd have i'd probably just run my girlfriend would have to fend off for herself she'd be the sacrifice that guy i mean you're faster than her i mean yeah 100 she'd be the sacrifice i mean i like you're faster than her i mean yeah 100 she'd be the sacrifice i mean i like her but i'm not gonna die for her fuck that shit dude i i'm starting to like her not not i mean i think it's cool that you found a girl willing to tolerate all the nonsense that comes with being ice's girl oh i so every time i go out with a girl i have a little like a little speech with them i sit them down and i'm just like this is what's gonna happen this is how it's gonna
Starting point is 02:42:12 be you have to just get the fuck over it or it's not gonna work out and they either agree or they don't agree you're so charming if they don't agree we just have sex and then i just never talk to them again if they agree then i will date them not because i don't say like that makes it sound like i'm some sort of asshole but no sometimes that first option is is the is the best to go i mean if she's gonna i mean fuck sex i mean i'm not gonna deny the sex right but um most like if a girl's gonna come in my life she needs to understand what goes on and I can't change everything around just for her. I mean, I could, but that wouldn't be a good thing to do.
Starting point is 02:42:51 You found a chick who's down with that. How does she feel about the frequent making out with men and dick grabbing and the like? Is she just like, oh, it's all boys will be boys? She's just playing. That probably pissed her off. She said he did. We do the dick initiation in front of her sometimes. Like, it's just, you know, she's just, she has come to terms with it.
Starting point is 02:43:13 She, like, is like, all right, whatever. Honestly, having a girl there would make me more comfortable with it. Yeah, I mean. The dick handshake. If you have to do it, you want some women around, right? Can you clear up the cam whore thing? Did you finger that girl or not? No, I used a dildo on her pussy.
Starting point is 02:43:32 Okay, the Hitachi Magic Wand, right? Yeah, and that actually was the first time my girlfriend was not very happy with me, but I was like, listen, I told you this. Like, I got to do shit. I got to do what I got to do, and you got to just get over it. Baby, I got 300,000 subs. What else. I got to do shit. I got to do what I got to do, and you got to just get over it. Baby, I got 300,000 subs.
Starting point is 02:43:48 What else am I going to do? I'm surprised that she didn't know what a Hitachi wand was. I thought that everyone knew what that was. She didn't even know what it was until then. Well, yeah. I mean, she doesn't have a dildo to masturbate with. I guess she just fingers herself. I'm not really sure what she wants to masturbate with.
Starting point is 02:44:05 I didn't know what it was either when she pulled that thing out. I thought you shove it in the pussy. I was trying to shove it in and she was like... You can do that. It'll go. It'll go.
Starting point is 02:44:18 It'll go. It vibrates its way in. It'll go. I've got two of them. It vibrates its way in. It'll go. It'll go. I've got two of them. I've got two of those things. I've got one that's got a speed adjuster on it, like a dial as an accessory. I've got two of the big ones.
Starting point is 02:44:35 I've got the mini one that charges with a USB. Yeah, those things are excellent. Mine only has the two options where it's insanely powerful vibrating or even more bananas vibrating. Where like you'll have it on and like just the noise of listening to it just... And you're like, man, the first time I used it, I was like, I wonder what goes like this. Why do you guys have these? Because we're courteous lovers. Yeah. And so like you hear that thing ringing
Starting point is 02:45:07 the first time or buzzing and you're like ah she's probably not gonna want to start this high up on this escalation ladder let's find another setting and all it is is just like a fucking blender of yes of pussy juice making plastic and rubber so because we have one in the house and uh but the thing is when i broke my leg i was using it to like vibrate the ankle like to get the swelling out or whatever it's it's a muscle massager as well well colin doesn't know what's what you know so it would just be like in the living room then hope comes from from college and she's like why is there a vibrator by the couch it's like why do you know that and that's pretty much how it's the only vibrator like if there was a dong like a see-through translucent purple dick there like you
Starting point is 02:45:56 couldn't be like oh no I use this to beat the soreness out of my shoulders shoulders. You couldn't do that. With the Hitachi Magic Wand, it is so... It's a drain cleaner. I've used it on my shoulders before when I'm sore. You turn that thing on, and it's a genuine muscle relaxer.
Starting point is 02:46:16 It really is. It is so powerful. It's so powerful. I don't have a clip, but I can't imagine how intense that is to have that thing on. It makes me want to buy one now for other reasons. They're kind of expensive. They're like $80.
Starting point is 02:46:30 Just having a cord sucks. No, I disagree. I'm all about corded stuff and all sorts of tools. And one, it has more power. It doesn't wear out. And in my experience, cordless stuff, not just vibrators or whatever, but if it's rechargeable, it's going to last two or three years regardless of how much you use it, and then the battery will suck.
Starting point is 02:46:51 So the little one I have is rechargeable. I haven't had any issues from it. Sometimes you forget to keep it charged, though. You pull it out, and you're like, eh, eh, eh. Like it only vibrated for like three seconds. Nobody liked that. Trust me, this is great. The last girl thought it was cool.
Starting point is 02:47:04 Yeah, exactly, right? I wore it out on melissa or whatever ah dang old thing it's brand new i promise but the uh the corded one you're right you're absolutely right i prefer corded with like serious power tools like if i'm like like i've got a big drill like i don't know what it is like a quarter horsepower some shit like a big fucking like man drill that's got the side shape of an f yeah yeah and I it I want the plug-in thing when I'm really doing some drilling and in the same regard I I want a heavy duty sex toy you could beat a woman to death with a Hitachi wand you I mean it is legit uh I broke one both literally and out. Both literally and figuratively. Absolutely, yeah.
Starting point is 02:47:47 Do you guys actively use, like, sex toys with, like, your girlfriends? Yeah. Because I feel like that would be so fucking weird. Oh, that would be weird. That's where your line is. I don't know. If I have a dick and I'm hard and I'm naked
Starting point is 02:48:05 Maybe if I like high five my buddy and just hold it under his nutsack And like you know just some light petting That's just like all good fun that's just for the memes But What makes you think that it's weird to like use a magic wand with your girl It's not weird I just feel like I would like edge myself Like I'd be super blue ball I just want to like fucking penetrate. I'm sitting there vibrating her instead of my dick and do the same thing
Starting point is 02:48:32 Well your dick cannot vibrate like that your dick does the same thing you should talk doctor I mean I could like stick it in and like fucking blow on her clay like with some gum in my mouth like or some shit So like I can do some crazy shit, I suppose. What's weird to me in this situation I don't face is how you use the same sex toys from girl to girl to girl. You whip it out and just be like, oh, here's my arsenal of tools
Starting point is 02:48:56 that everybody seems to like. If you do have an arsenal of tools, you certainly wouldn't want to come out like a torturer and start opening your folds and all your things. Well, when I open the closet, it's all hung on the doors. I imagine that I only have the one thing, the Hitachi thing. Kyle, do you have just an array? He's a sex man.
Starting point is 02:49:16 I have an array of sex toys. I have maybe $1,000 worth. I don't know. I have a lot of them. Sadly, that's like nine toys. I'm goofing. You're not far off. It's like 15 or 20. I have an absolute
Starting point is 02:49:31 array of them. I got a special chest they all go in. I've got all of the kinds. You can't mention a kind I don't have. I have them all. And it's all for one girl? No. He can't spend a1,000 a girl. When you were a kid and you made a Lego set.
Starting point is 02:49:50 Like each girl that comes over has her own. All right, here's the Jane box and here's the Sarah box. Like, no, you wash them. You know, you use special disinfectant on that. Some of them are dishwasher safe, right? I just have a big thing. Think about this. Barbicide. How many times have you eaten a
Starting point is 02:50:07 barbicide? That's hilarious. I think Dom floated that blue liquid. He just skinned it out. Shake it and stick it. Some of them are dishwasher safe. It's cold. I always put condoms on the sex toys.
Starting point is 02:50:26 Even the Hitachi. Even the Hitachi. With the Hitachi wand, a condom always goes over the thing. No. Really? No way. You put a condom on the fucking dildo and then you fuck the different girls with it. Because these girls know that they didn't buy it. I mean, that's so weird, dude.
Starting point is 02:50:42 If I had a dildo and just knowing that I have shoved this in like four different girls it just would be so weird you know how in World War 2 like every time they killed a Jap they put another etch on their pistol I do that with my dildos each one's got etches on it
Starting point is 02:51:00 you know he's got a scorecard you should see his dick. It looks like a wall from Auschwitz. Oh, it hurts so much when you carve in there. Oh, God. Andrew, you're like your giant pink double dong dildo or whatever. Purple.
Starting point is 02:51:15 Oh, your nice purple double dong dildo. Do you have lines for kids' growth charts? Like Sarah's personal best. Erica's personal best. Yeah, I do have one of those gigantic, like, it's like a gummy worm. I think it's like 27 inches, you know,
Starting point is 02:51:31 it's like, you know, it's all bendy and stuff and purple, it's this giant double-dick thing. You could do lots of things. You could replicate that scene from what's the fucking movie? Help me, Chiz. You know the movie i i i bet i've given you enough information already to for you to for you to know requiem of a dream uh where
Starting point is 02:51:51 you know they go ass to ass for the heroin yeah that's a body double by the way i did my research um if anyone's out there they don't know what i'm talking about google on porn hub uh requiem uh for on Pornhub. Requiem for a Dream or Requiem of a Dream, whichever. Ass to ass. Good scene. Good scene. You could do that. Get a couple of girls. I have done that before. I've gotten a couple of girls to do the ass to ass thing with the giant double dildo. But what you really want to do is you can
Starting point is 02:52:17 put one end in her vagina and then bend the other end around like a U and put the other end up her ass. Do girls like that? I need to try that dude like I feel like if I just was about to have sex with my girlfriend I pulled out a fucking giant dildo like I just feel like she would laugh at me or something I feel like she won't laugh for long Show but anymore she's laughing just that oh you think it's funny
Starting point is 02:52:43 Yeah, I'm going to attach this. I have one that attaches to a sawzall. What's a sawzall? A reciprocating saw. You hold it like a gun and pull the trigger and it goes da-da-da-da. Yeah, like what carpenters use. I have a dildo that'll attach onto one of those.
Starting point is 02:53:00 And it's got, where your thumb goes, there's a speed control that goes from 1 to 10. 1 is like wah-wah-wah-wah-wah. those and it's got on where your thumb goes there's a speed control that goes from one to ten one is like wah wah wah wah wah ten goes so fast that it'll it'll shake the dildo off the dildo does does a thing like this when you put it on ten where it's just flipping in the air and it's a blur of cock it's uh here i'll find it oh this is this is where you're losing the sex toy thing I can even understand Obviously the the vibrator thing and maybe the double dong that's a little silly But this this is just taking you out of the picture completely you have to have two hands to operate your penis gun
Starting point is 02:53:36 Then your dick isn't even doing the work I don't I don't see the point of this one this one 100% calls like an aneurysm It's gonna destroy her fucking pussy did oh this thing is like a fucking sack saw you got damn right power tool this you would fuck her like that would be hardcore I don't know if I would want to have sex with her afterwards you just be fucking destroyed like a big thing here you go yeah this is first all, it takes any size dildo you might have because it's all vacuum lock. I only use
Starting point is 02:54:07 vacuum lock toys, boys and girls. Vacuum lock for when you really want to get the job done. Vacuum lock. I'm on my roommate's computer right now not in incognito mode. He's going to come back and be like, what the fuck were you looking at? Yeah. But yeah, I enjoy using sex toys.
Starting point is 02:54:26 You don't introduce this on night number one or week number one, but you know, when you've been seeing a girl for months or known her for a year or two or whatever, you're like, hey, you broach the subject, however you do. I'm pretty out there and open about things.
Starting point is 02:54:41 Hey, would you like me to use sex toys in this thing? Would you like me to go fill the builder on your pussy right now? Because I can. Do you guys introduce the lube? I mean, I've pulled out flavored lube before. It's probably the only sex toy
Starting point is 02:54:57 type shit I've pulled out. I don't understand. I've never used flavored lube, I don't think. When the girl sucks your dick I'll pull it out like the first second time I meet her I'm just like here try this shit it makes it better and she'll like suck my dick like actually like
Starting point is 02:55:14 enjoy sucking my dick I feel like that's pretty like normal but if I pull out like a fucking hacksaw dildo she would just be afraid like I'm gonna rape her with that there's a chasm of difference between flavored lube for getting head and this
Starting point is 02:55:29 sex toy from a... What is that? The official lubricant of Painkiller already, wet. I couldn't read it because the words are weird. Isn't this the one that we're all on the same page with? Yes. This is... Absolutely, yes. this was on the
Starting point is 02:55:46 nightstand this stays there all the time it's fifty dollars a bottle it's no joke for uh for what is this uh this is actually the nine ounce bottle i think this is like 20 something dollars or something but i i often get the bottle that comes with the pump because if you buy in bulk it's it's a little bit cheaper but it's a $50 bottle of lube, and I go through that thing in like three months or something like that. Wet Platinum sent us like a case of this shit. At one point, I remember we had a show like two years ago, maybe more, where I poured it on my hardwood floor and danced around in the lube, sliding. It is the finest lubricant known to mankind. NASA needs to look into this shit.
Starting point is 02:56:24 It's almost too good, right? It's almost too good. So here's the deal. If you use like a Astro Lube or a... What's the super popular? KY, right? KY is trash. It stops being lube after
Starting point is 02:56:39 a couple of minutes. It goes on. It's wonderful for whatever. I don't know. Do you remember Gak that you'd see on Nickelodeon? Where you'd throw it and it gets all... That's what KY becomes. KY is horrible. It stops being really a lubricant
Starting point is 02:56:56 after a little while. You could steal an envelope with KY. Now the thing with wet platinum is almost too good on the other side. You have sex sex it doesn't matter how long it's still lubey and then when you're done having sex you're kind of lubey for the rest of the day you can take a shower with soap and make an effort i i need to figure out what the solvent is for wet platinum they're gonna be in there with like mineral spirits or paint
Starting point is 02:57:21 thinner is it dawn it probably it going to go hardcore have you have you you've gotten it where you know you have sex you have all the lube on the button platinum on your dick you wash off you go take a shower and then like you enjoy the rest of your evening and then the next morning when you get in the shower again you'll go to start
Starting point is 02:57:38 washing your dick and you're like what yes so much more than just snuck into the shower I guess like has it on it like yes shower it almost slipped on the skin, I guess. The shower floor has it on it. After I shower it off, it's on the shower floor. And I have a tile shower thing going on. I have busted my ass so many times in the fucking shower. And when you bust your ass on tile, it's like concrete. You just kind of sit there in pain and hope that you didn't grate any of your ass cheek off in there.
Starting point is 02:58:02 But you didn't because it was covered in wet platinum, the ultimate fucking lube. Wet platinum is like motor oil. It's good for 15,000 miles. And when you try to wipe that shit off, it's on your dick, it's on your shower stall floor, it's everywhere. You guys must be using a lot of fucking lube. I use a lot of
Starting point is 02:58:20 lube. My girlfriend would be sleeping, and I'd wake up and have a boner and be like, oh, we're going to have a little morning sex, a little surprise morning sex. I'll just apply some of the wet platinum and then just huzzah, and I'm in. I'm in. There's no need to be careful because I've got wet platinum on. And there could be no tearing or getting hung up on a lip or something like that. You're right in.
Starting point is 02:58:42 You're right in. Get right in there. You ever having sex and she has to take a moment to fix a lip? Like, oh, hang're right in. You're right in. Get right in there. You ever having sex and she has to take a moment to like fix a lip? Like, oh, hang on. It's kind of doing a thing. Like I got to fix.
Starting point is 02:58:50 No, you don't. That's not required wet platinum. Everything's all lubricated up. All the lips and the labias and the buttholes and the cock and ball. Everything is just a well-oiled fucking machine.
Starting point is 02:59:03 The way God intended. What's funny. The way God intended. Not like this... Yeah, the way God intended, not like this Latina enjoying a Sawzall. Because this is grotesque. On Pornhub.com, you want to look for
Starting point is 02:59:14 Latina enjoys Sawzall fucking. Sawzall is S-A-W-Z-A-L-L. One word. I would stop totally on your side for the lube and for the Hitachi thing. But this is weird. Like, this is...
Starting point is 02:59:32 Is it? Look, whether you think it's weird or not, I don't care. I haven't even opened up about my scarier sex toys. I've got some shit. How could it possibly get worse? The sex swing is not weird at all. That makes total sense. Yeah, I also have a
Starting point is 02:59:49 sex swing, which looks like a trap. It's enormous. Could you link us to a picture of a sex swing? I'll just find a video of a sex swing. That's always... Just go into your phone. I feel like it'd just be easier to stick your penis inside of her it
Starting point is 03:00:05 absolutely is well but the sex swing makes it easier to get your penis inside her at different more fun angles it lets her know she's dealing with an expert or a deviant oh it's both it's both I am a deviant expert dude where the fuck do you set this up it's like like a big, huge device. I have a big house. It's in the basement. Really? Mine's in the dining room.
Starting point is 03:00:35 You bring her to your fucking sex toy basement. That's fucking... When I say basement, it's not like a scary Hannibal Lecter basement. It's all finished. There's bedrooms down there. There's carpet and stuff. It's not scary at all. This is actually a hot video.
Starting point is 03:00:53 I'll watch this. This seems like you tie her up, hang her on this fucking thing. That's what it is. You get her legs in the stirrups. You truss her up like a deer you're gutting, and then you go to work. This is way too much work. I just like getting my nut off I don't what the hell is all this shit no this is a great idea I want to get one of these how old are
Starting point is 03:01:13 you ice 23 yeah I got eight years of fucking on you heavy hard dirty I guess I mean I guess over time it just gets old, so you gotta do really shit like this to make it interesting. Yeah, I've done all kinds of awful things. I've just, you know, just all kinds of dirty things. After a while, you know, you gotta add some
Starting point is 03:01:38 theatrics to the mix. That's why I got my pyrotechnics license. Is it like when you you go and then Kyle, do you ever circle back around where like, you'll watch something like ridiculous in porn, like, you know,
Starting point is 03:01:52 that 60 people gang bang or whatever, or something just, just bananas. And then you'll get so stale of just trying to find more ridiculous shit. That's amping it up. Yeah. You eventually circle back around to like two young amateurs just having regular sex up, that you eventually circle back around to, like, two young amateurs just having regular sex.
Starting point is 03:02:10 And you're like, yeah, it's like... Come full circle. Yeah, and then you start a path to deviancy again. Yeah, I absolutely have. I absolutely have. Chiz wrote in there a quote that a girl texted me a while back that I was talking to. She literally said, you can do illegal things to me. And I was like, what?
Starting point is 03:02:27 Like, watch an illegal immigrant fuck you? Like, what are you talking about right now? Like, what kind of illegal sex are we talking about? Because I don't want any part of that. Did she want you to play rape you? Or play rape her? In Georgia, it's probably sodomy. Yeah, right?
Starting point is 03:02:39 No, I don't think we have any sodomy laws here. That sounds like some Alabama shit. Or maybe some North Carolina shit. You gotta watch which bathroom you go into up there. You Jim Crow gun laws and such. Besides the sex toy stuff, you guys have done some pretty weird shit. It fucking sounds like with sex.
Starting point is 03:03:00 You like the play rape shit. Like, okay, I'll play rape with some girls. I've never done that before, but if she would want to i'd fucking do it but i don't think i've done anything actually weird i'm a lazy guy when it comes to fucking i just want to get it done with oh i definitely disagree with uh just wanting to get it done it's fun to enjoy it but like uh the play rape thing i agree with you like i would never want to do it, but if a girl wanted to, and that was her fantasy, then it would feel weird. When you say things
Starting point is 03:03:30 that I just know are probably factually inaccurate. When you say that, you just know. Your intuition's off on this one, buddy. Sodomy's illegal in Georgia, including oral. I'm like, no. Oral's illegal in Georgia.
Starting point is 03:03:46 In 13 states. I think Taylor would enjoy some rape play. You've got that look about you. Break out the Halloween costume. With the fucking jumpsuit, the inmate thing. You know what? I'm already halfway there with that. Get the inmate costume on. Okay.
Starting point is 03:04:02 Maybe some outdoor sex. Some risky sex in the park or in a car oh i'm totally fine down i i i picked up a girl at the airport one time and we we couldn't make it home i'm two hours in the airport so we just park in the park and i'm fucking her in the back seat uh but i was in that 2002 fucking uh truck and so it's got this bullshit bitch seat back there and which is just just so awkward that you couldn't even do a full stroke. And I think somebody reported us because it wasn't a cop, but it was park police with lights flashing. But the way the park was set up, they had to go this long loop-de-loop road to get to us.
Starting point is 03:04:39 And I'm like, ah, shit, fucking pulling my pants up. And she didn't even have time to get out of the backseat before I'm speeding away She's in the back naked that same chick. I fucked with a handgun. She was crazy I know this chick you put a gun in her pussy. Yeah, you keep you keep you keep mum on that one, mr Woody, but yeah, I put it but she wanted me to put a gun in her pussy though. It was unloaded in God No, it was unloaded and everything. Well, thank God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the barrel of the gun.
Starting point is 03:05:05 Whether she liked it or not. Yeah, like a Glock. Like a Glock. It's not even a gun that's conducive to this. Didn't it hurt? Yeah, a little bit of skin came off on the sight. Right. Why did she?
Starting point is 03:05:17 What a maniac. Hey, fuck it. That's actually, that's funny. I feel like if out of courtesy, you should use used an LCP or something with a rounded sight. I put the whole thing up there. How did that begin, Kyle? Was she just like, yeah, put your gun in there. And then you were like, well, let's be real for a second.
Starting point is 03:05:38 Honestly, I seriously doubt that it was her idea. I'm fairly sure. I don't remember. This has has been six seven years ago or something but i i seem to remember us driving and you know i got my clock there and i'm just like ah maybe i'll stick this glock in your pussy and she's like ah all right and i'm just like like while we're driving and you know i unloaded it and everything of course you know of course you don't want to be safety first dangerously um you know i had to put the safety on i thought you said it was a clock i told her i did you know and click
Starting point is 03:06:15 he makes it with his mouth yeah yeah that's man that's's... The fact that it's your idea and you said the whole piece of skin came off. Yeah, just a little skin was on the back of the site from pulling it out because the site hooked some in the vagina. I wonder if having a vaginal tear is kind of like biting the inside of your mouth and the way that it heals. It probably is.
Starting point is 03:06:43 You just get some UriGel and then... Yes! You nailed it. A little numbing it heals. It probably is. You just get some gel and then just put it in. You nailed it. A little numbing lubricant. Yeah, yeah. Now that's something you want to keep in your tool chest as well. A little bit of numbing lubricant. Pro tip for kids. How this conversation went from sex toys to guns inside her pussy. Potato
Starting point is 03:06:59 potato. Yeah, I know. It sounds like a natural evolution to me. Welcome to painkillery. And then there was the girl that I fucked with the glow sticks. And it's funny. She texted me potato yeah i know it sounds like a natural evolution to me welcome to pig killer that i fucked with the glow sticks and it's funny like like she texted me the other day and she's like like some kids party or something and she like sent me a picture like some glow sticks that they were playing with she's like this brings back memories that seems toxic if the glow stick broke inside of her she might actually get like radiation poisoning or something these were nah i think she probably just turned like have a green vagina. I think you should test and see if it's luby.
Starting point is 03:07:26 It's not actually radioactive. These were like big glow sticks too. They're literally the size, I don't know, like dick size. But like 18 inches long. So you snap them and shake them up and then
Starting point is 03:07:41 silently get down with them. I had Good times. I've never seen a glow stick that didn't have hard edges at the tips. Yeah, this is something you may have not seen before. I mentioned it before, but at a tactical show that was for SWAT teams, everybody that was there was a member of a SWAT team. Many SWAT teams from all over the world had come there to compete against each other at SWAT shit. And so there was all these booths filled with special forces gear
Starting point is 03:08:07 that they're marketing towards SWAT teams. So the people from Brazil are there, and they're like, oh, yeah, we like these sights you have. And one guy was just all about glow sticks. He had all these glow sticks that he was selling. I'm glad you got good use out of your glow sticks. I bet everyone else who got a glow stick that day just threw it in the grass
Starting point is 03:08:27 or their kids wore it on Halloween. Nothing like Kyle. I fucked a sexy redhead with mine. Nice, redhead. Oh, yeah. Redheads are not meant to be half-sexing with. Just saying. Why did you say it in that way?
Starting point is 03:08:44 Not meant to be having sexing with Every year Lost my head for a second there Now who do we have to hear from? MeUndies MeUndies coming in right here at the end of sex toy talk Every year millions of people receive
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Starting point is 03:09:16 flexible waistband. It's three times softer than cotton, made out of naturally sustainably sourced fiber known as Modal. MeUndies, MeUndies makes underwear the perfect gift that everyone's going to love for you. It's a got, wow, that's in, am I supposed to say that? This is in the, this is in the read.
Starting point is 03:09:34 It's a goddamn holiday miracle. Okay, this year, don't give underwear, give MeUndies. This holiday season, to get the, uh, to get your exclusive 20% off the softest underwear and socks that you will ever wear with free shipping and 100% satisfaction guarantee. Go to MeUndies.com slash PKA. That's MeUndies.com slash PKA. Let me repeat that. You get 20% off their underwear and socks and with free shipping, 100% satisfaction guarantee.
Starting point is 03:10:00 MeUndies.com slash PKA. We've said it before. I'll say it again because, you know, some of you may be here for the first time. MeUndies is legit slash PKA. We've said it before, I'll say it again because some of you may be here for the first time. MeUndies is legit. It's literally the only underwear I wear. Let me see what I'm wearing now. I'm wearing the basic gray
Starting point is 03:10:15 MeUndies right now. Nothing fancy tonight but yesterday I had on my camouflage MeUndies so I wouldn't be seen outside that house. They are excellent uh they really are the softest underwear you'll ever wear they uh they support your cock and balls like like no other undergarment ever could or would is this part of the ad read still i'm just this is off the top of my head they present your cock like a like a mounted deer on a wall just just staring
Starting point is 03:10:43 into your eyes looking at that's the thing if you're accustomed on a scale, just staring into your eyes, looking at you mournfully. If you're accustomed on a scale of 1 to 10 to being a 5 or something, it will make you an 8. It's where you need to be. And even when you take your Rhino 50k dick pills, which aren't sponsoring our show, but they should be,
Starting point is 03:11:04 the undies will contain. Do those pills actually do anything? If you want some dick pills, just go to the doctor and get some Cialis. That's the real way to go. But yeah, these work too. To a much lesser extent. They get you a boner?
Starting point is 03:11:19 They get you fucking hard? Get you harder than normal and harder easily. More easily than normal sometimes i have like issues getting hard so not issues getting hard issues staying hard for long periods of time yeah but i need to seriously like like i i have a prescription for cialis among other things i've got i got an adderall prescription too and i take them both for the same reasons they are performance enhancing drugs. If I've got a lot of shit to do around the house,
Starting point is 03:11:48 if I need to be on, if it's go time, I take myself 10 milligrams of Adderall and I'm the best version of me. Serious pussy to slay. You gotta be taking... Adderall does not help with having sex at all.
Starting point is 03:12:03 It definitely makes it hard to get hard. That sex at all. No, no. It definitely gets hard. Yeah. That's an issue. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Especially if you're snorting it, I'm told. Well, I mean... By the way, anybody who's listening,
Starting point is 03:12:14 that's not the issue why I have a problem staying hard. I just get fucking bored of sex after about 20 minutes if I don't cum. So I think... The reason why I like to get sex done and over with. That's why you gotta add some theatrics to the mix. Some pyrotechnics
Starting point is 03:12:34 is what he suggested, maybe. Maybe not. Some electronics, for sure. But, you know, the deal with electronics, just to complete the picture in your mind's eye, is maybe you're doing some sort of doggy-style maneuver and you reach under with the vibrator onto her clitoris. And that's super, super go time, right?
Starting point is 03:12:52 Or maybe her legs are up on here. That doesn't really make you excited, though. It just excites the girl. That makes me excited. And here's another thing. If you have a powerful enough vibrator i so there are plenty of positions i don't have a i don't have my marker board with me that you can get into so that you can fuck her and you can apply the hatachi wand to her to her clit and
Starting point is 03:13:18 it makes her vagina vibrate so you can feel the vagina vibrating with your cock and and that's you know you you're verging on branding territory yeah yes i've heard there is a attachment for hitachi magic wand for guys and according to a redditor and if you can't trust that then you know what kind of world do we live in he says that it's very powerful and that he's like you know like i've jerked off before and it's kind of like you're coaxing the orgasm out of you, right? He says, but with this thing, it is almost forcefully removing the orgasm from you without consent. And that it is a next level orgasm removal creation tool. I have a couple of attachments for the Hitachi.
Starting point is 03:14:01 One, a couple of them are for ladies. They're like insertable hook things. Hook sounds scary. It's more of like a G-spot. More like a claw. It's more like a G-spot thing. It's shaped like, you know, like imagine my wrist is the head of the wand. And the other thing is shaped like my hand is shaped right now.
Starting point is 03:14:19 So it kind of goes into the vagina and like vibrates the G-spot with the power of the Hitachi. But the thing you're talking about i've seen that and i may or may not own one it's uh on the end it's kind of like um you know remember those things you used to get out of a vending machine and you'd like flick them and they'd stick to something yes it's like that kind of stretchy material but it's it's like a ring of that that your cock goes into and And you can stroke it back and forth on your cock while going into Hitachi vibration mode on your cock. And very cool sex toy. I don't really – I have all the male sex toys, right?
Starting point is 03:14:57 Like I've got – we got sponsored somewhat by this company called Autoblow one time. Oh, I have one of those, actually. Yeah, me too. My bro, yeah. I lost the charging cable of mine and threw it away. Just a powerful orgasm. I don't like
Starting point is 03:15:20 those type of things, though, because they break really easy, for one. And two, when you're coming, it's not very... It's like a robot, so they don't accurately make themselves go slower or make it feel better. It's just too much, you know? I feel like I'm better with what Wings always say. I get the best hand jobs in South Carolina. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:15:48 Absolutely. I feel like if I've got a good grip on the situation... You get that perfect sensory feedback loop. Yeah. Actually, in the future when they have sex robots, I'll probably never
Starting point is 03:16:04 ever get a girlfriend in my life Just oh you get a boyfriend. I think Carl my sex Bots are getting so real-looking It's eerie adding clothes like they used to look very mannequin II But now like they still don't look like a real woman because of the proportions and everything. You'll see
Starting point is 03:16:28 Newsweek will post an article that'll just have some dude sitting there with his sex robot. It's like, how did this guy possibly afford? Actually, I know how that guy afforded it. A lifetime of not spending money on women. There you go. There's a good movie called Lars and the Real Girl.
Starting point is 03:16:46 And it's got the guy from Drive. What's the really good looking blonde guy from Drive? Ryan Gosling. Ryan Gosling plays kind of this autistic, nerdy guy who lives in a guest house. I don't
Starting point is 03:17:02 remember who lives in the big house. But he lives out back. And a crate shows up one day and they're all like, what's in the big house but uh he lives out back and a crate shows up one day and they're all like what's in the crate that's kind of weird and the next thing you know he's dressed up the sex doll and he's calling her by name and saying it's his girlfriend and taking her everywhere with him like like to restaurants and shit and it's uh it's really fucking bizarre but and it's kind of a sweet comedy kind of thing. Like, it's not nasty and raunchy. It's more like sad
Starting point is 03:17:30 and funny at the same time. Lars and the Real Girl, I liked it. Huh. I didn't know that's what that movie was about. I want the fucking doll to cry, though. Am I the only one there? Yeah. I'm sure you can make a setting for that. It would make it like a lot
Starting point is 03:17:46 hotter like i feel like the sex i don't know i i'm really fucking weird when i have sex i like to be fucking intense like to put my mouth over like my hand over her mouth like i like to do that shit so i would agree on the crime robot yeah yeah i i like the i don't want the robot to want it I don't want the robot to want it. I want it. I want the robot. Rape is cool and everything, but especially I want a robot.
Starting point is 03:18:11 I want it to be Japanese, too. I want it to be, please send me back to Toyota. I want a Toyota sex bot, by the way. That's what you want your robot to sound like? Oh, give it to me, Kair. Oh, I love it. No, the opposite of that. Begging me to stop. Oh, please, Kair! Oh, I love it! Oh! No, the opposite of that. Begging me to stop and send back... Oh, please, Kair!
Starting point is 03:18:28 I should have been at Camry. You're ruining my wiring. Wearing it out with my crazy saws off. Oh, remember to put my pussy in the dishwasher after this or either with the greatest silicone, if not... Yeah, now that is one of the concerns with wet platinum is if you
Starting point is 03:18:49 use the wrong kind of condoms it will degrade them so keep that in mind gentlemen and ladies you know if a guy if a guy whips out some wet platinum Chiz had to go make a phone call he's like oh shit oh shit
Starting point is 03:19:04 a little degraded condom and like with enough use and I've gotten there before the condom will come completely apart what kind of condom will it just destroy latex condoms that's why I've got
Starting point is 03:19:22 are these non-latex? Destroyed latex condoms? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. These are latex. Alright. This is a lesson that we all needed to relearn. If the entire condom's falling apart, then I'd be worried. I would think he's going back.
Starting point is 03:19:43 Yeah, no clue. I hope so. Don't know what happened to him. I'm sure he... He changes the layout. I'll just fix it. Fix it. It's bad. But, uh...
Starting point is 03:19:54 We've been going strong here for three and a half hours. I have never sat down at a computer and talked on a Skype call for three and a half hours before. This is intense. You were married. It's just very... It's actually hard. Yeah, right?
Starting point is 03:20:14 Once you get three and a half hours into talking, it's like, man, all right. What else? I was going to ask, we know about all the troubles that have come from your audience calling restaurants and shit like that. That was super annoying. I watched one the other day where you're having dinner with Caroline at that place.
Starting point is 03:20:34 You ordered macaroni and cheese, the most autistic thing I'd ever seen. I don't like being an adult. I'm still like a kid on the inside. That's 12 years old over here. I ordered mac and cheese at a nice restaurant. Whatever, do your thing. That's what makes you interesting I like it but they're calling and fucking shit up for you that was super lame
Starting point is 03:20:53 but have you ever harnessed that power and used it for good like had them call a place to impress upon that place like your power as an influencer never to a business because most businesses want to just take real phone calls so they can make money to impress upon that place, like your power as an influencer. Never to a business, because most businesses want to just take real phone calls so they can make money. I have used the live stream to help me get women.
Starting point is 03:21:16 Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. When people say on their social media that they want to fuck them, or Ice wants to fuck you and the asshole or something, that doesn't help me. But if I meet a girl and she gives her instagram or something out like yeah i've been i've gotten laid from the stream before and that's really positive and that's awesome i um i i used to like tweet out uh and facebook out i've got a pretty big facebook it's like i don't know close to two million people or something and and so Facebook or tweet out the phone number of a business for various reasons. Sometimes an employee was rude to me.
Starting point is 03:21:50 Legitimately rude. Can't they sue you for that? I don't fucking know. Did you tweet out something and did they get harassed? I've had to deal with that shit. I've never cared. What I would do is I'd tweet out, like, Sonny's BBQ. The chick was a cunt to me. She just was.
Starting point is 03:22:05 She was. So I was like, eh, here's the fucking number to Sonny's. Call and ask for April. And just hordes of people calling and asking for April. And we watched the phone ring off the hook. And they're ringing so fast that when the phone hangs up, another call comes in. Like you could answer the phone and there'd be a person on the line. Hang it up and pull again and there'd be a completely different person already on the line.
Starting point is 03:22:29 They're coming in so fast. You could do it like that. But the funniest, we were in Louisville, Kentucky, and my friends were going at the strip club. I'm staying in the hotel. I had a girl coming to me. I'm not a huge fan of strip clubs, but my friend calls me from the strip club. He's like, Hey, put it out that, uh, that you're at this strip club, like whatever the place was, the donkey show or whatever the fuck this place is called. And I'm like, all right, tweet out like, Hey, I'm, uh, I met show girls or whatever in Louisville,
Starting point is 03:22:59 you know, come on down. We'll have some fun if you're in the area. So the phone at show girl starts blowing the fuck up. People asking for me just constantly, continuously ringing. And someone, they're like having an, it's a whole commotion at the strip club. And my friend's like, oh, phone's ringing? Are they asking for Russia? And they're like, yeah, yeah, they are.
Starting point is 03:23:23 He's like, ah, shit. It must have gotten out that he was going to be here tonight. We're his friends. He's kind of a big deal. They must have gotten out where we're going to be. This always happens. So they think that he's like, wow. Kid Rock was in here once and this didn't even
Starting point is 03:23:38 happen. So they're giving my friends free drinks and stuff. Everything's on the house and stuff. I'm like, well, shit. I'm coming back tomorrow night if it's that kind of treatment. Go back the next night. Same thing.
Starting point is 03:23:53 Just tweet out, I'm here. Phone's blowing up. They know I'm here. All the strippers are like, you're the guy. I'm like, I'm the guy. I'm the guy! It's me! I've never experienced a business being positive in that kind
Starting point is 03:24:10 of way before. I'm going to have to try that, like a strip club or something, because that sounds fucking awesome. I think maybe I might have gotten a free drink from McDonald's, and that's pretty much it. You know those refills are free for everybody. Granted, the people calling you, I guess You know those refills are free for everybody. I mean, granted,
Starting point is 03:24:26 the people calling you, I guess they were asking for you. I feel like people, if it's on a live stream, people are going to call and they're going to say a little bit more fucked up shit. Yeah. My fans are usually nice people. Oh, they're nice. They just want to
Starting point is 03:24:42 see me get hurt every once in a while. It's fine. Yeah. Oh, speaking of that, I saw the backyard boxing thing. That was fucking cool. I don't know. It was long as fuck. I don't know if I watched it all. Did you ever get in there and box? I thought you would.
Starting point is 03:24:56 I did box a little bit for like 30 seconds, and I was out of breath, and I stopped. You're in pretty good shape, too. I didn't know what you looked like, and you took your shirt off at one stopped. You're in pretty good shape too. I didn't know what you looked like and you took your shirt off at one point. You're all messed up, eh? I mean, I used to work out before I cut my thumb off, so I guess I have a little bit of muscle base, but I'm just skinny and I don't... I have no stamina whatsoever.
Starting point is 03:25:16 It's exhausting. A lot of people think that they can fight, but you get in there and in one minute you'll be breathing so hard. You're exhausted. It's so hard. Yeah, but... How'd you cut your thumb off? You get in there, and in one minute, you'll be breathing so hard. You're exhausted. It's so hard. Yeah. How'd you cut your thumb off? When I used to be a cook, I accidentally sliced.
Starting point is 03:25:34 I was chopping bacon. My thumb was in the way. I just chopped it off. The funny part is I didn't even know my thumb was chopped off. It was so gushing with blood. I thought it was just like a little tiny cut, so I put a little Band-Aid over it. I went back to work. Lost my thumb somewhere in the the bacon but i just didn't want to tell my fucking boss because i don't want to get like trouble so i just kind of like played it off as nothing happened somebody probably ate my fucking thumb somewhere that is
Starting point is 03:25:56 horrific yeah probably i mean i don't know and then i it was still bleeding for like 30 minutes out of the fucking bandaid. And I have like adrenaline going through me to do my job. So I didn't even really feel it. And, uh, I eventually have to tell my boss, I'm like, yo, look at this. It's not stopping. And we took the bandaid off and my bone was sticking out of my thumb. And I was like, oh, okay, let's go to the hospital then.
Starting point is 03:26:20 Fuck. My God. That is, your bone was sticking out? Yeah. Like, I can't tell. Is it like, did it grow back at back at all or oh no You really chopped off the tip of your thumb. Yeah, it's uh, they just pulled the skin up It's to make it look pretty good. But I'm missing like half my thumb Give your nail him. Oh, yeah. I mean I cut through my nail like somewhere like over here So, I mean this part grew backs. I didn't cut down here, but I cut, like,
Starting point is 03:26:45 half of this part off. So, like, does that actually affect you now, or is it just, you don't even notice anymore? No, after, like, two months, I couldn't really move my thumb, but after about two months, I started to be able to move it again, and it was fine. I just, I cut right through the bone and the nerve and everything. It was pretty bad.
Starting point is 03:27:02 It's a good knife, though. Yeah, I mean mean a kitchen knife chef knife really fucking sharp so um i'm surprised i didn't feel it at first was it your knife or the restaurant's knife it was the restaurant's knife sounds like a great knife that's all it does sound like a good knife i can't believe someone just cooked up your thumb i guess you cooked it up you're're the cook. We just don't know where the thumb went. We were looking for it. We know where it went.
Starting point is 03:27:29 It went to table seven. I didn't want to tell anyone that, but I was just looking for it. I don't know where my thumb is, boss, because we were looking for it because he said, I need to take it with me. I don't know. We just like, fuck it. I didn't work at Chili's. I worked at an Italian restaurant.
Starting point is 03:27:46 Yeah, because I think a Chili's got in trouble for serving a thumb once. Nobody knew about this thumb, thank God. I bet you get paid. If they had found your chunk of thumb, they could have sued. I'd love to find a piece of a human in my food.
Starting point is 03:28:02 I mean, yeah. I would honestly as well too. They'd probably in my food. I mean, yeah. I would honestly as well, too. They'd probably sue the restaurant. I wouldn't really give a fuck. Yeah, you'd be all clear. You wouldn't make anything suing a small, single-location Italian restaurant. In that case, you'd want it to be a chili's. All the meatballs you can eat.
Starting point is 03:28:15 Yeah. So Ice, you've been exploding lately, right? In terms of popularity and stream growth and stuff? Yeah. So my YouTube channel definitely has gained a lot of popularity um with live stuff it is definitely um it's like up and down type thing it depends on what you do so i went to europe like four months ago and you know the channel was just kind of stagnate with like uh live viewers or whatever just whatever and then you do one big event or something and it's just like booms again that's the weird thing with youtube because like on twitch it's different on twitch you don't really
Starting point is 03:28:56 stagnate you just do the same fucking shit over and over and you just grow since you're already like always on the top on twitch with live viewers but with youtube since they have like a weird algorithm it's like you do something and then you get you you kind of ride that train what you did and then you have to do something else and you have to ride that train as well it's a weirder space than twitch it's a lot harder youtube's fucking hard as shit oh so maybe you do regret the twitch ban. Not that you really... I make more money. I don't really regret it.
Starting point is 03:29:31 It is my fault because I should have been more... I should have been so careless. I just didn't think somebody was actually going to fucking SWAT the airport. It's ridiculous. You know what I mean? Where did you go in Europe?
Starting point is 03:29:47 He froze. I'm glad Kyle moved. There he is. He's back. Where did you go in Europe? I went to Amsterdam, England, Exactly what I was about to suggest. Italy and Spain.
Starting point is 03:30:04 Yeah, Amsterdam is a great place everywhere else sucked balls but Amsterdam was the best fucking place everywhere else sucked Spain Italy sucked I didn't like Italy or Spain or anything I mean Spain was beautiful I like Spain but Italy was just boring it was like nothing to do you just go and look at fucking old
Starting point is 03:30:20 buildings not really my cup of tea and then England i just hated because i mean it's just like a shittier version of the u.s so you went to rome and said it was boring and there was nothing there well i went to milan and um what's the place that starts with an f i don't remember but i went to milan it's similar to uh r Rome I suppose it's just looking at old buildings it's just fucking boring I always wanted to go to Italy I thought it'd be some crazy shit oh Florence Florence yeah but they were just boring uh like I don't know not really I uh I really want to go to Amsterdam kind of for the same reason I I want to do some sort of a stream
Starting point is 03:30:59 or something with whores I I I'm really they're really you're really really stuck on this idea like glue i was live streaming out on the red light district and i had a fucking pimp woman come up to me and slap my camera off my shit onto the floor saying you cannot record here it's illegal and i was like you're fucking lying you guys are whores i can do whatever the fuck i want uh because it's not illegal she was just lying to me and she slapped my shit i was pissed yeah see i don't want to like film them for free i want to hire a bunch of them and get them back to my place and then do things like like i i've said i've said it on the show before but like you know they do that thing where you like eat food off of a japanese woman who's naked like do that sushi thing i want to get a big fat hooker and cover and fry chicken and eat the fried chicken off of
Starting point is 03:31:45 her right like like i i think that's fucking hilarious um i i i want to do things like that but i want to hire them i want i want them to get paid and be i don't want them to be unhappy with the situation i want them to understand that you know they need to be a little unhappy with the situation what if we did this what if we hired one female prostitute and a male prostitute, and we tell the female prostitute that it really turns me on when I act like you hired me to fuck you? And so don't talk about being a prostitute at all. And so then it would just be a very uncomfortable thing, and we see how that pans out. I don't speak Dutch, you know? No, it all has to be in English. So you would get two prostitutes to, like, fuck each other?
Starting point is 03:32:28 Yeah, but they wouldn't know about it. They would each think the other is, like, the John, and tell them both that they were role-playing or whatever, and just have them going back and forth. Basically, like, this prank phone call thing I did one time where, on three-way,
Starting point is 03:32:43 I called two 7-Elevens simultaneously and just shut the fuck up. And the one guy goes, 7-Eleven. And the other guy's like, 7-Eleven. Yeah. He's like, what do you want? What do you want? And they keep going back and forth. He's like, no, this is 7-Eleven.
Starting point is 03:32:59 I know. I know it is 7-Eleven. What do you... And you just let them go. And, you know, those guys from... Yeah, just that with prostitutes. That with prostitutes. That's a fucking great idea. I don't know if that would actually pan out correctly.
Starting point is 03:33:13 I feel like they would both want their money or something. It would, one, be like... Like, I don't... It would just be a very interesting scenario. Which would end up with you being punched in the face by a pimp. Perhaps. I don't want to deal with any pimps. That worries me
Starting point is 03:33:29 a little bit. You wouldn't deal with a pimp in Amsterdam, would you? How are there pimps in Amsterdam? That's because it's a real establishment, right? It just has a manager. The manager is a pimp. Amsterdam was fucking sketchy when I went there, man. With the whores and stuff, I don't know, man.
Starting point is 03:33:45 People there are weird. They just... Everything is, like, legal, but they're still, like... Everyone's an asshole, and they will, like, beat you up if you fuck with them. Huh. And so... But you liked that more than Rome? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 03:33:59 I mean, Amsterdam was great because it was a beautiful city for one and for two. Any time of the day i could just walk down the street people will just come up to me and give me molly yeah i mean i didn't take any of the molly because i don't fucking trust their shit but they were just straight up just walk up and just like here it's fucking oh molly oh hey you want some coke too i'm like no but it's like here i can give you some coke i'm like like, no. Amsterdam is just a place you go to do fucking drugs. Man, I didn't think there would be Molly salesmen just walking about.
Starting point is 03:34:29 They just give you free drugs. You just walk down the street. It's like, here. It's like, oh, okay. It's like in the grocery store where they hand out cheese samples. In Rome, it's just a bunch of people trying to scam you. A bunch of immigrants
Starting point is 03:34:44 that come from other countries all over the world, they just fucking scam you. That's literally what Italy is in the touristy parts. You mean... Oh, go ahead, Kyle. I was just going to say, I want to go to Amsterdam. I want to go to Japan. I want to go to Canada.
Starting point is 03:34:59 I want to go to the UK. Okay. Yeah, I know some people there. It'd be cool to go to the UK. Yeah, the UK and Japan would be the two I'd want to go to the UK. Yeah, I know some people there. It'd be cool to go to the UK. Yeah, the UK and Japan would be the two I'd want to go to. Because the UK seems really, really different, but still similar enough that you could make your way around and figure shit out.
Starting point is 03:35:15 Yeah. Whereas, like, Japan, do most people in Japan speak English or no? I don't fucking know. No, I don't think so. Here's the thing about Japan, though. More people there speak English than people here speak Japanese. I feel like there's so much, I don't think so. More people there speak English than people here speak Japanese.
Starting point is 03:35:28 I feel like there's so much pussy to be had in Japan. Because, like, I have this idea, like, I have said this shit before, but I have this idea that, like, a six-foot-two white man would be heavily desired over there. In this land of short people who all look the same to to be honest you know they all look the same was there and you know they have that whole thing where like this whole generation of japanese men stay indoors with like uh you know their waifu or whatever like like digit like jerking off to uh to animated women and stuff and like you know they they don't really date and stuff how much of that is really true and how much of it is like... I think a lot there's like major news articles about that shit it's true see
Starting point is 03:36:08 Chiz is backing me up. They'd rather jack off the fucking anime shit than real women? Yeah yeah like there's there's a whole issue with the culture where they're having to re-educate young people about like how to date and how to like deal with the opposite sex because their population rate because their birth rates are dropping so dramatically. So the government's helping them get laid. Yeah, kind of. Well, then we can go help their birth rate. I could supplement that. I'm happy to knock up two or three Japanese ladies
Starting point is 03:36:35 and then... Yeah, that's really interesting. This is for World War II. You could be the Johnny Apples seed of japan right just going from place to place planting your seed japan has a couple loads of his own over there doesn't japan have like a low like a low amount of women compared to men so it'd be like a fucking challenge china you're thinking of yeah that's china because they kill the Because they kill the girl babies. In Japan, they're just choosing
Starting point is 03:37:08 not to fuck actual girls. Yeah, yeah. That doesn't even make any sense. Why would they want to masturbate to fucking cartoons over actually having sex? Do we judge your kinks? Right? I mean, yeah.
Starting point is 03:37:23 I mean, fuck them. I masturbated to some weird shit too, i get it so yeah man i i just feel like i would be in high demand there i feel like on japanese a tweet of some like i'd just be fucking slaying like like like any of us would like like like i like like dirty old man woody could go over there and really just part the Red Sea of yellow pussy. You think so? No, I thought that was funny.
Starting point is 03:37:52 That's why I laughed. Do you think we should switch our trips to Japan instead of Vegas? No. I think there's a thing about Japanese whorehouses not taking Americans. Google that. I think there's a thing about Japanese whorehouses not taking Americans. Google that. Cool, cool, cool.
Starting point is 03:38:09 This isn't just about the prostitute thing, though. I would rather go to a real vacation in Japan than a prostitute trip to Nevada. No one's interested in your real vacations. If you're going to vlog it, I really want to see you
Starting point is 03:38:24 at the Bunny Ranch. There's a ton to do in Nevada. Someone said I was wrong about the Grand Canyon being there. I know that it's not located there. I know that it's in Arizona, but it connects. The Grand Canyon is fucking massive. There's that walkway thing
Starting point is 03:38:39 at the Hoover Dam. I'm getting my information from Vegas Vacation right now. I think it's not in Vegas, but I think it's in Nevada. For, uh, prostitutes? Yeah, pretty much. Like, outside of Vegas, where it's legal, you know, I want to do
Starting point is 03:38:54 some sort of a live stream kind of event where we hire, you know, I don't know, three grand worth of whores and do weird shit to them. And then eventually fuck them. You know, like, that won't be on stream, but it'll happen. Just do some weird shit. I'm going to eat fried chicken off of a naked woman on stream
Starting point is 03:39:12 and people will donate to take another piece off. And part of it will be how much chicken I can eat. Maybe it's a chicken eating contest, right? You have to devour each hot wing. Do hot wings so it's burning. Oh, yeah. Very hot wing. Do hot wings so it's like burning. Oh, yeah. Very hot wings. She's getting super uncomfortable
Starting point is 03:39:29 as the wings are burning her. And you, young lady, we're going to eat fajitas off of you. You probably don't have to go to Nevada to get prostitutes. I would be a thousand percent legal, though, right? Especially since we're going to... If you're going to vlog it.
Starting point is 03:39:45 Yeah, since we're going to live stream this and upload it and shit. Probably put it on Chatterbait, honestly. I mean, if you're not actually having sex with them, I don't think it's illegal. Yeah, but the hiring of the whores would be illegal. Oh, yeah. But he says if you don't have sex with them,
Starting point is 03:40:02 then you're really just hiring actresses. I'm going to have sex with them. Well, in that case. He says if you don't have sex with them, then you're really just hiring actresses. I'm going to have sex with them. Well, in that case. Yeah, he really didn't leave a lot of wiggle room there. Not we, you need to go to them. I'm not traveling 3,000 miles and putting on a whole goddamn show and not fucking two or three of these hot whores. I'm going to get all redheads.
Starting point is 03:40:24 They're not for sexing. They are all... I've got to be careful what I say here. We shouldn't even step into these muddy waters. Woody's daughter is a ginger. I never thought about that. You didn't get what I was saying?
Starting point is 03:40:39 I didn't even think about it. I genuinely didn't. I just thought you were putting on your own, like, oh, I'm not into redheads comment. I'm very much... Kyle's a huge fan, but not of mine. Of course not. No. No.
Starting point is 03:40:58 Yeah, right? Don't want to deal with it. But yeah, the whores. The whores. I want to. But yeah, the whores. The whores. I want to do funny things to the whores, gross things to the whores, and then eventually have sex with those same whores.
Starting point is 03:41:13 You need to make up games to make them compete in. I think it would be funny if you took Woody with you. He just seems like the type of dude who would just... It would just be funny as fuck. Cause, uh,
Starting point is 03:41:26 I mean, actually you're married, aren't you? That's the challenge. Yeah. Hypothetical single Woody, you know, would have a blast with this,
Starting point is 03:41:33 I guess. But, uh, but the actual me is, you know, devoted to my wife. Yeah. And,
Starting point is 03:41:38 and she's devoted to him not going on a whore jousting trip. I mean, as long as you don't have sex with any of them, then I'm just like... I won't cut it. She knows that Kyle and I are a good influence. We're one step away from Mike Pence in the way that we manage our relationship, which you might not get that reference. He doesn't even have
Starting point is 03:41:55 dinner with other women. Without his wife around, you know, alone. Of course, these days, the way guys... Nobody's making fun of Mike Pence anymore. Nobody's making fun of Mike Fence anymore. Nobody's making fun of Mike Fence anymore. Crazy like a fox! Of all the people who could have scandals,
Starting point is 03:42:12 he's the last one that I'm suspecting. Because I think that whole religion, no dinner without a chaperone thing is true. If that works for him, I don't see a problem with it. You could twist it into this issue where it's harder to have
Starting point is 03:42:28 even a business relationship with him if you're a woman than if you're a man because he'll only be near you with a chaperone. But, I don't know. Flip the script, right? Your wife is some titan of industry. She runs an importing-exporting company. They do latex
Starting point is 03:42:46 and other things. Is this a Seinfeld reference? Of course it's a Seinfeld reference. She needs to go meet some gentleman who's some Italian gentleman, a notoriously sexually
Starting point is 03:43:01 aggressive race of people over dinner to discuss importing his Italian latex into the greater New York metropolitan area. You wouldn't want her going on this dinner date, basically, with this Italiano gentleman with all of his latex about, you know, unescorted. I honestly would feel, like, not happy about that. I wouldn't like that.
Starting point is 03:43:25 I think there are people, though, who are like, that is a ridiculous line of thinking. If you can't trust her, you can't trust her. She'll find a way. Kids will have Dago mustaches and greasy hair. Dago mustache. Greasy hair. Fucking Sean Connery.
Starting point is 03:43:43 I would be afraid of some girls saying some sexual harassment accusations against me. I don't really get that scared when I'm around girls. When I'm single, I kind of go around and I actively am pretty openly touchy-feely with girls. But I don't know. My friend, Chad, he said he was really afraid about girls giving him false accusations, so he would make them sign a consent form before they
Starting point is 03:44:11 fuck, and I thought that was the stupidest thing ever, but with all the stuff that's been happening recently, I guess I kind of get it, but I just feel like that's fucking weird. It is weird. I've got a bit of documentation myself. My manager has been looking out for me in that regard for the better part of a decade. You make your girls side.
Starting point is 03:44:30 There have been some girls, not every girl, but she's clearly unstable. And I like them that way. I like some crazy women. I want you to be fucked in the head. One of my favorite aspects of Kyle's dating life is that he honestly does like women a little bit crazy. I want you to be fucking scary. I want you to have assault charges. I want you to be dangerous. I dated one chick and we meet up in Glinburg tennessee like like i drove up she
Starting point is 03:45:06 drove down we met in the middle i rent this cabin and we're having this nice steak dinner she's really smoking hot filipina chick um she's like five foot two or something and just just fucking built she just really muscular body but not in a you wouldn't like it woody it's not that muscular but she's fit she's fit right and she's just like like It's not that muscular. But she's fit. She's fit, right? She's got small boobs, but she's just really nice ass. This chick, I could get on her back, piggyback style. Did you say she was Latin?
Starting point is 03:45:35 Filipina. I would be scared. I'm just thinking, could she grow a happy trail? Go on. No, low T. We're having dinner and like we we've been that we meet on on friday and you know we've spent the night together friday night saturday night and now it's sunday night right the last night of our weekend and we're having this really nice steak
Starting point is 03:45:57 dinner and uh and i'm like hey this has been really fun why don't we just stretch it out in the week i don't have shit going on like like I'll just call and cancel anything that was going on. Let's stay until Tuesday or whatever. She's like, ah, I got to be in court in the morning. And I'm like, oh? Traffic court? Because I hadn't had my Camaro all that long at that time, and I already racked up a couple of serious speeding tickets.
Starting point is 03:46:22 I was like, traffic court? She's like no my ex-husband and i got in a little bit of a tussle and i shoved him through a plate glass uh shower door and uh he got awfully cut up oh is she sexier to you at this point oh are you like baby, tell me more. I was like, how cut up is he? He's like, well, 30, I don't remember what it was, 30, 40 stitches or something like that. The door shattered and it fell on him and it sliced him open in a few places. And I'm like, huh, did he start it? Well, he wouldn't shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 03:47:01 I'm like, oh, well, aren't you going to be in some trouble? She's like, look at me me do you want to go in there in my polka dot dress i'm gonna look at that judge and say no your honor you know he's he's six feet tall i'm five foot two look at me and i'm sure enough she goes in just right in and out you know they won't even listen to his side of the thing. She says that he pushed her and she pushed him back right out of there. Love that chick. She should probably be in jail. Are you the type of guy who likes
Starting point is 03:47:32 when the girl controls you in every situation? Or in the bed at least? No, not necessarily. But I could definitely go back and forth. I'm okay with her being dominant occasionally and getting aggressive and stuff. But for the most part,
Starting point is 03:47:46 I like to be the one calling the shots. I get out my tools. My tools. It just depends. I really mix things up a lot. Keep things interesting. Anything and everything.
Starting point is 03:48:03 If that's what she's into i'm more than happy to for me like what what gets me off and what turns me on is like her really enjoying herself and whatever uh is required to make that happen i'm i'm 100 up for you know the only thing i don't think i could do would be like crazy i'm talking about of stuff that she liked the only thing i don't think I'd be able to do is like ridiculous dress up like if she was like you I want you to dress up as Jesus Christ and
Starting point is 03:48:32 come in here and you know tell me I'm a sinner or whatever or anoint me yeah give me an anointing slap all those like forehead dick slaps but uh or dress up like a pirate because like would you be able to resist just like, and just being over the
Starting point is 03:48:48 top and silly with it? You wouldn't be able to. I know your personality well enough, Kyle. You'd be in there, and you're with a pocket full of doubloons and a puffy shirt, and you would be like, I can't not turn this into a joke, because she's like, oh, Captain Jack Sparrow. And you're like, yeah,
Starting point is 03:49:03 we can't kiss because I have working with the Hitachi there she blows I'm going to pee for many a week for some scurvy pussy you know coming there with my eye patch on and fucking fake parrot on my shoulder
Starting point is 03:49:19 look I could definitely get into it I could play a part most girls who would want you to dress up as a pirate wouldn't expect it to be taken seriously? You wouldn't hope so. I've never had anyone want me to dress up as a pirate. Ever. I don't know where that came from. I've never dressed up before.
Starting point is 03:49:35 I've never been a cowboy. Well, I think a big part of that is I don't have any costumes. I have so many. I have so many costumes. You could definitely be a convict now oh shit now that's a that's some kind of crazy fantasy like yeah one of kyle's girlfriends wants the convict outfit oh yeah i'll leave that that outfit just tactically placed like in my bedroom it's like oh that that's just uh that's just worried about that What does that make you think?
Starting point is 03:50:05 Oh, yeah, me too. Gross. But you can tell that one by ear. Yeah, I've never had a girl that wanted me to dress up, I don't think. Hmm. How many girls have you had? I don't like saying it. I'll tell you privately
Starting point is 03:50:25 but you know it's a shitload Kyle doesn't kiss and tell unless it's on our podcast for lots of people I'm awfully open about everything but you know
Starting point is 03:50:40 that's just kind of a probably shouldn't say. Probably more than... Than some. Than most. Yeah. More than most, I would say. You know, I've had my share. My share.
Starting point is 03:50:54 You're not going to get my share. I'm going to get every part. I mean, I guess it would have... Is it more or less than 100? I'll tell you. Yeah? I'll tell you. That scares me. I'm thinking of a number now somewhere like the hundreds, dude. That fucking scares me.
Starting point is 03:51:17 That's Ron Jeremy stuff. Nobody. What's his name? Who the fuck was saying recently they fucked like 10,000 women that wrestler Ric Flair yeah he said he's fucked like 10,000 women or something and I was just like trying to do the math and I'm like man that's like that's like a career like that's those are like you would have can't be canceling friends plans and family events all the time.
Starting point is 03:51:45 There's a basketball player that said he fucked 20,000. That's Will Chamberlain. Was it Will or Kareem? I had both in my head. It was Will Chamberlain, and I don't think that's even possible given how many days human beings live. 20,000, dude. There's no way. 2,100 would be like, well, 2,500 would be like seven years, right?
Starting point is 03:52:09 Something like that. All right, let's just do some math. I need to calculate it. Oh, yeah. And this is assuming every single day. A new girl. 2,500 is almost seven years. 20,000.
Starting point is 03:52:25 54 a day. That's seven years. 20,000. 54 a day. That's 54 years. Yeah, it's just being silly. Well, I didn't even think of, you know, what if he's fucking like seven or 12 at a time, right? Like. Well, but it's also assuming that he's only fucking each of these girls once ever. Right?
Starting point is 03:52:42 That's true, too. There would definitely be some repeat customers because this whole math doesn't add up unless it's like all right this girl one time and done and one time and done one time and done yeah it I don't know you got a one thing that might support his argument is the fact that he's traveling you know with the team right the same way that musicians could could really get a lot so like if you're a musician every show you do if you're traveling um you know there's there's there's dozens hundreds of hot chicks down there right there who are like waiting to fuck you and you know
Starting point is 03:53:16 you've got a handler who goes out and hand picks the the chicks it's like you and you and you and you and you and brings all these chicks back to your room and you fuck any of them or all of them that you want and so every night you can have five or six or seven or just one or none every single night every tour day all around the country and the same thing is true with basketball players right you know you're you're in a different city every night i mean i wonder how the girls get the basketball players right because like hypothetically if i wanted to get a selfie or an autograph with a basketball player i don't even know how i'd get the basketball players, right? Because hypothetically, if I wanted to get a selfie or an autograph with a basketball player, I don't even know how I'd get close to them.
Starting point is 03:53:50 Close enough to... They come out of the stadium. You're a man. You're not going to get close enough. Well, a couple of... Nowadays, it's like social media. You hop on their Instagram and slide into them DMs or on Twitter. They leave the stadium a lot of the times
Starting point is 03:54:06 and you know kind of do like oh yeah like sign two or three autographs and like i mean if you're hot you just be like yo lebron and he'd be like i'm married and he'd walk away because he's a nice guy but but maybe he wouldn't maybe maybe he'd be like yeah you and your 14 year old sister get back over here i want to talk to you about smart investing. It was a while ago, but the NBA gave an alert to NBA wives that it was risky sex to have sex with their own husbands or something like that. Yeah, that they were like, your men are fucking so many people. You should know. I want to look that up. I remember it got a lot of national attention.
Starting point is 03:54:45 That seems like not right. That's like, how's the NBA going to tell the wives, like, hey, don't trust your husband? That seems kind of fucked up, actually. Yeah, I would not be happy with the NBA. Right? You don't see Bud Sealing ratting on people like that. That's some horse shit.
Starting point is 03:55:02 It was a while ago. I can't Google it quick enough for this show. Yeah, I don't know. That's some horse shit. It was a while ago. I can't Google it quick enough for the show. Yeah, I don't know. I thought it was bad. It's a painting with a broad brush there. I bet they do. This has been one
Starting point is 03:55:20 of the most raunchy shows we've done in a while. You paused. You were searching for a word. I was going to give you raunchy shows we've done in a while. You paused. You were searching for a word. I was going to give you a raunchy. Honestly, you've been fantastic. Oh, no, no. This is a good thing. I'm giving you a compliment.
Starting point is 03:55:36 This has been great. You just throw out there whatever you want. I'm not as familiar with your stuff as these two, like your streams, and so I had no idea the level of exposure you do. When you just slipped out in the beginning, like, you guys ever lick your friends' dicks? I was like, what?
Starting point is 03:55:52 I mean, it's good conversation points. Dude, it's very unusual that we are the prudes in any conversation. It might have happened tonight more than once. I mean, this has been definitely... I've only done like two podcasts before. It's been the hardest one. This has been definitely... I've only done two podcasts before. It's been the hardest one.
Starting point is 03:56:07 This has been a very long podcast. This is the hardest one. A lot of people legit find this to be one of their favorite podcasts, even if we're not the biggest. Jordan Peterson said that this was his favorite interview. Maybe it was his dad. He's done a ton of them. What other podcasts were you on?
Starting point is 03:56:24 Why were they easier? Just the length? I was on No Jumper. It's just the length. An hour long or something like that. It's just four hours. It's hard to talk for four hours. It's hard to stay on.
Starting point is 03:56:39 It's hard to stay on and not zone off and start picking your nose or something. It's impossible to fall asleep like right after this i know you you probably aren't trying to anyway but like i'll just be like trying to watch tv and decompress and i'm still in like snarky cunty mode yeah so i'll just be watching seinfeld or some show and just like make a quip to myself like what are you doing it's wrong just settle down like yeah do you do that too we're like you'll lay in bed and you'll be thinking about a movie
Starting point is 03:57:05 and you'll think, oh, there's a funny joke you could say. And it's like, oh, to who? I just smoke a bunch of weed, son. I just forget about it and fall asleep. It's not the quip thing with me. I'm like, oh, I'm up super late on PKA nights. The show wraps by midnight or something. I'll be done with the MP3s and the uploading and all that.
Starting point is 03:57:27 But I'll go to bed until like 3 a. 3am just because I'm not ready for sleep yet and you know I sit here and I drink like a couple of these espresso things and a cup or two of coffee so you know it's not hard work I don't like that I love fucking doing this shit I feel very lucky
Starting point is 03:57:42 I love fucking doing this shit I love it but you can love I love fucking doing this shit. I love it. You can love something and recognize that it has some challenges. Yeah, I wouldn't even say challenges. I like how hard this is. It's not hard like I feel like I'm failing every step and I need to get better. It's more like I have to be on and focused and I'm always digging. I'm always digging for more and trying to think of a funny thing to say.
Starting point is 03:58:06 Well, that's – I mean, this has been a long podcast, but I've liked it a lot because we've talked about a lot of things that, well, it's just very interesting, very weird and interesting. So it opens up a lot of questions to be asked afterward by people. Like, why does this happen? What's going on here? I wonder if your subs are going to know something new about you. The people watching your streams will see a different
Starting point is 03:58:32 side of you? I mean, they definitely know everything that I've already said here because I'm very open to everything. But this is definitely a different side. I'm just being a lot more relaxed. I'm just being a lot more relaxed. I'm not being so
Starting point is 03:58:48 hype or hyper, dude. On stream, I'm really hype with everything. But right now, I'm just being relaxed. It's a different side that people, I think, like seeing because it's a different change of pace. Yeah, definitely so. I think this is
Starting point is 03:59:04 going to be good. I hope that a lot of our viewers go check your stuff out, and I hope that some of your viewers that maybe came over here don't think we're a bunch of cock normies or something like that and realize that I think 99% of my viewers
Starting point is 03:59:19 already know who you guys are, so I really doubt that. Yeah, I hope some of them hop on board to our little shit parade. Because, you know, we do this shit twice a week and have a good time at it. And there's
Starting point is 03:59:34 more to come. So where can they find your stuff, Ice? You can find my stuff at youtube.com slash ice underscore Poseidon, and Twitter is realice Poseidon and Twitter is realicePoseidon. Nice. And your chatterbait?
Starting point is 03:59:50 You know. Ice ice baby. 64. 69. Alright. Anyone to hear from? You know, check out all our sponsors. There's Lyft and MeUndies and Movement Watches and Omaha Steaks.
Starting point is 04:00:08 Links down below in the description. Go check out Kitty's Etsy over there, One Tree Lane. I know that she's trying to sell some soaps and aromatherapy stuff for the holidays. And go check out Sarah XXX, my favorite digital muse. And, yeah, that's it. All right. Painkiller Ready, episode 363.

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