Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #364

Episode Date: December 15, 2017

This week on PKA, no guest but that doesn't stop the guys from having a fantastic episode where they establish the British Belly Button Institute after reviewing WingsOfRedemption & Taylor goes into great detail about his new homeless friend who Kyle's nicknamed "Roofus"

painkiller ready episode 364 no guest kyle a few sponsors tonight smart mouth movement watches omaha steaks stitch fix me undies and whistle.com wow that's a lot of quality products and services guys you're gonna hear more about those indeed we only talk quality so i have helmet hair anyway that's not the point of this show at all. It's not. Not at all. So we were just talking about, do you guys, are you okay kicking off with the porn thing? The porn star thing? Yeah, I'm okay with that. Yeah.

Oh, what a tragedy. Absolute tragedy. We like to start classy and then, you know, well, go down. So this August Ames gal, she is 23-year-old, was a 23-year-old, super hot. I've never watched any of her pornographic films. I probably will after this, just as like more of a tribute. Like I'm not going to be doing anything other than that. In memoriam. I think we should all pour one out to Ames, whatever her name is.

We should all milk one out to, God, this is 45 seconds for us to be horrible to this dead girl. But basically, she said on her twitter that she didn't want to have to do any sex scenes like at work with men who did gay sex because there's so much higher risk of hiv in men who do gay scenes than men who just do straight scenes that she's like uh no i'm not comfortable with that i'm not having sex with guys who do gay porn and moonlight and gay porn to make more money and then come into straight porn. Like, it's happened before.

Like, I saw a story, like, in line with this today. It was like, this isn't an unreasonable thing. Like, it's happened twice before that a male porn star has gone and done a bunch of gay porn and then come back to straight porn and given, like, a dozen people HIV. And they don't wear condoms, rightiv yeah and they don't wear condoms right yeah they don't wear condoms and so you're just asking sometimes they do sometimes they don't but anyway she said i'm not sleeping with people who uh who do the gay porn because of hiv risk and she got lit into by so many gay porn stars and so many uh sjw types being

like oh you're you're profiling gay people now just because it's like objectively provable that the overwhelming majority of hiv patients are gay you're not gonna have sex with them and just because it's you know happened before in your industry like no and no people just ripped into her fucking hated her over it and bullied her so much like i'll have to find some of these tweets from the other gay porn stars because they were going through deleting them today uh or i guess on tuesday after they found out she killed herself um but yeah she got so so down about it i guess that she uh hanged herself in her home and now and now there's no more august aims it's kind of ironic that in the end

it really was you know the topic of having sex with gay men that killed her. Oh, that's funny. It led to her downfall after all. That's a Nietzschean way to look at that. Is it? I don't know. I was just going to go with it. Yeah, Nietzsche. That's the Nietzscheist I've been so far today.

So, Kyle, thoughts? Well, it's a real tragedy because i i'm looking through her twitter here and and she's really well put together um i think if she were ugly i i wouldn't care um but but i feel like the world has been deprived of a of a really well put together uh young lady at 23 to just so young. I don't understand. Like, like, you know, it seems like she I don't get how that I'm not. All right. So here's my thought, actually. I'm not sure that it was this bullying that just drove her to kill herself.

Like there had to be some other issues, right? Like she wasn't just doing great in life, having a wonderful time. And then all of a sudden some people called her a homophobe, and she just offed herself. She had to already be on the edge for this to happen. Oh, yeah. You're probably right. Well, let's assume she was vulnerable when they all picked on her. Because her career wasn't over.

She had three good more years left. She's only 23. They were going to be hard years, fellas. They were going to be hard years, fellas. They were going to be hard, hard years. Come 25, she's on heroin. No. No. Porn Star's life is much longer than it once was.

I was talking to Sarah about this last night. She was like, you can't do this forever. 10, 15 years or something like that. I'm like, oh no. 10 or 15 years. Okay, what are you doing right right there there's milk categories there's uh there's um you know uh mature categories like milk categories are 25 no come on like i like okay you actually think that

those professional milf ladies do you think most of them are 42 i love the ones that actually are 42 are the are the ones that i'm looking for, though. Like, oh, what's her fucking name? She's the one who did the Nalen Palin porno. She's one of my favorite porns. Nalen Palin? You've never seen Nalen Palin? You can do MILF porn and then Moonlight in teen porn. Because it's all fucked up,

it makes no sense. Yeah. SarahXX is great at what she does, but I feel like when you ask someone who's in that industry about how long you can stay in that industry, it's like asking one of those, you know, Pennsylvania coal miners of like, how long do you think this is going to be a job? Oh, generations to come. Like, you know, keep them going, our coal mines.

It's like, you know, of course the people in that industry are like, you know, the last guy who was in the family of like making shoe uh horseshoes in like 1912 you think he was like like really understanding yet that his job was over and he was gonna have to figure something out like no come on no i i i disagree i feel like i think if you age well um you you have a career for you well into your 40s in pornography. Big fan of Lisa Ann there. She's got to be 40 now or so. And big fan.

Big fan. Name one other 40 plus porn star. Well, the thing is that, like, you know, there's different kinds of porn stars, right? Like, they're the ones who go on and create their their own studios their own production companies and get really big and then they just kind of retire out and collect off of other girls right well i mean that's definitely a career path like becoming a producer whatever you would call it yeah but then i don't really consider that in porn the same way you know like then you're kind of more like the boss. You're not getting banged on a couch by some, you know, crusty Serbian.

Like, crusty Serbian. That's my porn. You've been looking at my links. I've been sending you. I can tell. Bar slash crusty Serbian. Serbian smashers. Yeah, the good stuff.

The Croatian hammer. The Croatian hammer. Yeah, all Eastern Europe. We're going through a phase. The Palin thing was eight years ago, right? Yeah. Or nine years ago, right? Yeah. Or nine years ago? She's one of the most popular porn stars on Pornhub.

She was 35 in this video. Yeah, so she's 43 now. She's still one of the most popular porn stars on Pornhub. If you go by most popular porn stars, she's top three, top five all the time. She's still well put together. Very much so. Her ass and just all the time like she's she's still well put together like very much so like those her her ass and and just all the way around she's fit yeah and yarmir yager plays in the nhl

and he's 46 i was just gonna do that for anybody else yeah come on like i don't know what your point is here like you're just proving me right i bet yarmir can sling some dick oh he was the one who got uh blackmailed by an 18 year old czech model who was like i'm going to tell everyone that you're sleeping with me and then he just was like do it you know yeah he's like you're not going to give me some money smile for the photo and he's not married and doesn't have kids and so when she released the photo of her like in a selfie in bed with him asleep, everyone was just like, ha-ha, nice. That's got to be the dream. But anyway, clearly she's the outlier.

I hope that this is happening to Jager all the time. I hope countless Czechoslovakian models are trying to bribe him after sex. Like night after night, like, oh my god you know they're draining me i doubt it he can go back to eastern europe and just fuck his way you know every three feet that would be johnny apple seed over there just it's gonna be the check what would that be 20 years from now you know that the 2038 hockey team is going to be outstanding when his seed comes to roost. It will. Oh, back to the August Ames lady.

I'm looking through her Twitter. Kyle, your point of her not being totally stable, obviously, it makes a lot of sense the more you look through these tweets. Are you scrolling down? On December 4th, that's the day she killed herself i believe and she's got like 20 different tweets of just like coffee and weed smiley face umbrella you know weed leaf and then uh you know to every board person on set today you're welcome for the reading just like a bunch of little things that you wouldn't anticipate someone talking about right before they kill themselves you know so it seems like it maybe

it was like a really like emotional thing like you know now that i look at her face the world didn't lose quite as much as i thought before jesus christ no mustache no she's she has like giant botox injections or something. No, collagen. What am I looking for? It's collagen. Collagen. Her lips are all swollen and she looks kind of weird.

I like those lips. They're not human lips. Oh, I like those lips. It's cool. Maybe you like lips on performance enhancers. Here's a picture that you could show. I'm pretty sure you could show this. I know you can show this.

She's wearing a shirt. But look at those. Those are wonderful lips. I'm a big fan of nice lips. That's an important... Eyes... The obvious erogenous zones are important to me. The one where she's in the bikini?

The one I just linked there. Maybe it didn't direct link. It totally linked to the top of her Twitter feed. Oh, sorry about that. I'm clicking on these, trying to find the tweets that aren't deleted yet of the gay porn stars who were, like, mocking her and being dicky to her,

being like... I'm scrolling through the images. I'm trying to find what they're saying. She's wearing, like, a greenish blue uh t-shirt and she's just smiling with lipstick on and i don't know i i think that's very hot i i dig those lips wow she's really sexy yeah well she is yeah she's i mean she was very attractive i don't even know how we're having that discussion we all i mean i mean maybe a couple of us would have on tuesday who's to say but like i don't even know what that i fuck her today tuesday was the day yeah because monday was the day i mean i'm sure she's embalmed by now right like like just embalm

her up a little bit egyptian i found one where she seems to be wearing a green tank top but she's got a cock in her hand and that can can't be the one Kyle wants me to show everyone. That seems safe-ish for work. This one she has a white shirt on. At least people will be able to see what she looks like. Ah, here's a little video. I think this works. Hopefully this

works. There's this link I'm seeing. Triple checking that this is okay. I think we're good. I think this works. Hopefully this works. There's this link I'm seeing. I'm triple checking that this is okay. I think we're good. I think that video works because she's making kissy lips to the camera. She's got an Instagram filter on. You can't tell anything. She is way too pretty. Oh, I should link you guys.

This is not what she looks like. She looks way better in this shot. These Instagram filters are infuriating. Oh, I love them. i like playing with them oh no i mean like if you're trying to like really ascertain how good looking a chick is these things make it borderline impossible because they use them in every picture because it thins your face and smooths out any blemishes and they do it under the you know guise of haha i'm just goofy yeah so there's oh there's a face have you used the face swap one before have i uh what's And they do it under the, you know, guise of, ha ha, I'm just goofy. Yeah. Have you used the face swap one before?

Have I? What's that? So there's a face swap Instagram filter that you can do, like, videos with. And basically every image in your gallery on your phone that is a face is in there as a possible. So you can switch your, you can do this overlay of like movie characters faces and stuff so like I put Mac's face on me from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia because for some reason he's in my phone and I'm just like oh I'm Mac now! I'm Mac!

And like one of them there's a default one that's just a koala and I'm like I'm a koala man now! Koala man! Like I really have fun with it. I like those things. You can put anybody else's face and sometimes i overlay my own face onto my face and get like kyle seption going on and you got a lot of time well yeah you know gotta fill the day are you a big guy you gotta fill the day

are you are you a are you snapchat a lot um recently yeah i can't i don't think i've ever used it when not just talking to a girl right like do you ever have you ever like reached out to a guy friend and sent them like a haha look at me i'm fucking silly like no i don't know any of my guy friends who do that and i know none of my guy friends do it because i never get anything from them this entire app is just a they should just call it sexting. That's all that it is. It recommended you at your Snapchat to me through Snapchat, and I was like, I don't need that. We don't need to be Snapchatting back and forth.

If I need to get a hold of Taylor, I'll just send him a text message. There's nothing that needs to evaporate within five seconds. Taylor, that's the move. You got him on to text i got kyle over to text like eight years ago and i haven't sealed the deal yet slow but uh yeah that i'm a big fan of snapchat now i've never posted a a story which is like what they call it like when you have a post on snapchat that like is public to everyone because i'm always like what what would i put here nothing like i don't do facebook like i i why why start this up i don't know yeah yeah i don't i

don't post any stories i just use it for you know communication purposes you know and just just i i enjoy the little little filters though i really do i was i was talking to somebody last night and i was like these really aren't made for men you know and as i'm i'm seeing a video of myself saying this i was like there are no masculine filters and as i'm sending it i'm like a deer with little ears and like giant eyelashes i'm like there's no man ones there's only one there's like a football helmet. But when you do that, when it plays like rah, rah, rah, like fight music, like da, da, da, da, da, da, da. And nobody wants that. Yeah.

My issue with them is this. Like, okay, let's say Taylor and I are going to like do a foot race, right? And then I show up at the starting line and goof off, run it backwards and get my ass kicked. And it's like, well, you know, I wasn't really trying. That to me is how these filters go. Like, yeah, you know, so I look silly there. I was just goofing off.

You're afraid of your accurate pictures. You don't want to be measured. That's what these filters are about. They put a fucking dog face on you. So, you know, of course, and like Taylor said, the angle is smooth out your whatever. And it's just goofy and silly. Right.

Because accurate pictures are your enemy, aren't they? You're a million percent right. And this is why Woody only sends flaccid cock pics. He doesn't want you getting some mixed up idea of what's going on down there. This is how it looks all the time. I'm not sending you the highlight reel. I'm sending you reality.

That's funny. You're right about the Snapchat filters. It would be like if I got a filter that was called Abify and I took my shirt off and took a pic and I just looked like just like 12 abs and then like i made a goofy face and like sent it to a girl and it was like realistic enough that you're like maybe he doesn't have a 12 pack maybe he must have at least like a six pack for the for it to be doing that you know like and then i show up and they're like oh oh well those that's not a chiseled mich Phelps eight-pack or whatever. Like, oh, I was just being silly.

I was just being a goof. It's like, no. Like, they have filters that just add a nose and ears, but the real reason the girls are using the filter is because of the added bonus of every filter that smooths out blemishes, makes you look like your skin's healthier, and tapers your chin. They all do this. Like, it is so difficult to

discern who really kind of are you fucking with it now I'm gonna show you okay this one turns me into a rabbit man hi we've all got the app we know that's a little disturbing yeah I don't like that either. I mean, for my money, you're a guinea pig man. I don't know. Maybe. I like it. I like that a lot. I'm going to be using that later on. I'm going to have some fun. I'm going to send some guinea man guinea pig man videos to some

people. Jackie got an iPhone 10. Yeah. She hasn't switched over. What can she do now? Her phone was broken. It had two primary issues. You guys will agree it was time to replace it. One, the battery didn't really work. She had to walk around with one of those recharge packs all the time

because her battery would go from 93% and then turn off. And the other was the GPS stopped working. So she couldn't use it for directions anymore. And it's like, all right, baby, maybe it is time to get you a you a new phone so we got the 10 but we haven't set it up yet tomorrow what does the 10 do that the other one doesn't uh you know the biggest thing and is it what are you 26 yeah you might not well i was about to say you wouldn't appreciate this yet because you've got those young great eyes but i forgot who i'm talking to The biggest thing is the screen is quite a bit bigger. The footprint is about the same but because

there's no bezel, all the words get bigger and the screen is sharper and brighter and if I was shopping for a phone sometimes even with either 7 Plus, I'm still like alright, this is my good eye. This is my best distance.

So I think Jackie will like the bigger screen. It's faster. But, you know, phones haven't changed my life in a while. Like, there was a time when it was like, dude, they built a compass into this phone. Now, that might seem stupid, but it makes the GPS four times better. This thing is going to be cool.

And now it's like, oh, yeah, I just replaced this because the last one the battery doesn't work anymore everything that phones have added since just the basic ability to google search or internet search has been less impressive to me like gps obviously great and then as soon as it was like oh you can just google whatever you want on your phone you need to know what a restaurant is where something oh, you can just Google whatever you want on your phone. You need to know what a restaurant is, where something is. You can just do that. Everything else since then, not as important. I like Siri.

And she's quietly gotten better and better every year. She just continues to improve. Now she has artificial intelligence. And her speech recognition is just improving every time somebody talks to her. You know what she can't do? This is probably a boring topic. But she can't do? This is probably a boring topic, but she can't do multiple layer questions. For example,

if I say convert six gallons to liters, okay, divide that by 40. She's like, divide what by 40? It's like, bitch, we were just talking about the liter thing. That actually is annoying. I've never tried to use my phone robot to do math. I do it

all the time. The only time I've ever used Cortana, because that's the whore that lives in my phone robot to do math but i do it all the time yeah the only time i've ever used cortana because that's the whore that lives in my phone is uh i've i've gotten frustrated and been like uh cortana look up the closest outback steakhouse and she'll be like tick ting looking up the closest longhorn steakhouse like no uh outback i. I know there's not a Longhorn right here. Outback. Looking up, the closest Longhorn Steakhouse is 57.2 miles away. It's like, I'll just search with my fingers. I'd rather get in a

car accident right now than talk to you again. Siri gets it right 99% of the time, but every so often, I think I go to Steve's Barber in Raleigh or something, and I'll be like, hey, can I get directions to steve barber like 2200 miles away which barber did you think i was going to like come on a human would never make this mistake and and that's like a literal example like 2000 miles i was uh i was in tampa uh earlier this week for a for a work trip and when i got

there and was at where i was supposed to be i was like oh i need to get something like a superstore walmart real quick so i was like just googled in walmart like closest one on my maps and the first one that showed up like gave me like a little panic attack because i needed something from that i knew walmart would have for for the meeting and came up like closest one 181 miles away i'm like oh no no that can't be right we're we're in the u.s this is the united states of america it can't be 191 and i just scroll to the bottom of this list and just in a mishmash of ones it tried to point me to one in tennessee where it's like yeah i'll just pop back to the midwest real quick like no of course not and then i found one hidden in

there like 3.1 miles away and i went i'm really interested in this, and I'm cautious about asking because, anyway, you went to Tampa for work. What's that like? That gives me an impression that if they're, like, flying you around to do what I imagine are presentations or something, like, work's going well. How is that? Do you like those days? well. How is that? Do you like those days? Because this isn't the first time that they're like, hey, Taylor, we need you in Zimbabwe because

you're part of the team that's going to talk to these people. Can you talk about that at all? My Zimbabwe trip is next month. I was intentionally not being Oh, I know. I appreciate it. Yeah, work's going great.

I really enjoy it. If you haven't, I'm. I appreciate it. Yeah, work's going great. I really enjoy it. I like if you haven't, like any kind of, I'm always comfortable being put into presentation mode. Like lots of people are made uncomfortable by public speaking or presentations and stuff. Like I don't get that. I really enjoy it. Maybe you can't tell. I like being the center of attention. Like it's fun for me.

And so like when I'm in a meeting and it's like my job to be presenting and like taking charge of the room, like it's fun, you know, like I bet, uh, Kyle, I bet you're kind of the same way. Like you were in sales and everything. Like there's something about having control of the room that is just a lot of fun. Like you're in the power seat, you're in the hot seat, like you're directing the flow of everything. Like, of course, if you get like called on something and like, you don't have the answer to a question, you feel like an ass, but like, as long as you're quick the flow of everything like of course if you get like called on something and like you don't have the answer to a question you feel like an ass but like as long as you're quick

on your feet enough to deflect to something else it doesn't really matter but um yeah i'm really enjoying work and doing all those presentations and whatnot um obviously it all has to do with you know different forms of marketing and advertising i won't go too into it because it would reveal too much but uh yeah and the trips themselves it's it all comes down to how long they are like like this trip to tampa i woke up at like 4 30 in the morning in st louis and then was home back in st louis by like 9 30 at night and so those trips can kind of suck because it's like god like this is exhausting and i just said unspoken thing that you get like the next day off are you rolling at lunch or is that not at all the case it uh it

depends like uh i was so sick early this week and but i still wanted to go on the trip because like i you know i take my job seriously and i want to do well and i don't want to think i'd let anybody down and so like i did it and the meeting went spectacularly way better than i thought it would i wasn't hacking my ass off through it and so then the next day i was like hey yeah i'm not gonna be doing anything on wednesday i need to sleep all day and it was like yeah that's fine whatever but uh usually i don't i don't take days off afterward so when you travel like that and stop me if i'm going too far but usually like part of a team or is there like a senior guy or do they send Taylor out there solo?

How does that go? Oh, no. Usually it's just me. Just you? Yeah. Usually I handle everything. And I don't mind. I kind of like being independent and being in charge of it, being able to not script it because I have a team here that works on presentations and decks with me.

team here that i that works on uh you know presentations and decks with me but um when i when it comes to the actual presentation and making a compelling point for whatever case i'm making about whatever product um then it's it's me and i and i like that um but the trips are more fun when i get to spend the night a night in the new city like uh i was in what was like cincinnati or detroit it was something a couple months ago. Cincinnati, and I got to stay there for a night. And, of course, like Tinder is the whole reason that I like that now. It's because now I go on a work trip. And so, like, when work tells me, like, all right, you're going to go to Tampa and you're going to be there for just long enough to do the meeting

and spend a lot of time at the airport and eat some expensive popcorn shrimp at some bullshit deli before you fly back. It's ah damn no time to get laid but if they're like all right you're going to fucking uh salt lake city you know you got to spend the night there before and you're going to get in at 4 p.m it's like oh oh there's plenty of time to get something going you know you just change your bio real quick to only in salt lake city for the evening looking for fun hit me up whatever it is and then oh yeah, because you see that around here, and I'm sure Kyle does as well, where it'll say, hey, at Washington University in St. Louis

for two nights for a conference, hit me up. And it's like, okay, well, I'll swipe right on you for sure because that conference is still going. They'll have the dates in there that they're going to be in town. And so, yeah, that's the biggest perk of it it that would be nice if you were in a vacation town like if you were if you've lived uh like at a beach or something like that there'd always be tourists coming in that's so true it blows me away because i can't think of a more dtf like flag than i'm in town for two days and oh Oh, that's exactly what it's good for.

If you see a girl that says, I'm in town for two days, you're not like, hey baby, what are you into? What kind of stuff do you like? Are you looking for a relationship? No. That girl's looking for dick right now. Who cares if she's cheating on her boyfriend or husband? That's not my problem.

She's going to do it with someone else. It may as well be me. That's not my problem no that's there if she's gonna do it with someone else it may as well be me that's my right is that your logic she's gonna fuck someone yeah i suspect she will get lucky because she's a girl and she wants yeah yeah yeah well she's a wildebeest or something like that but but you know hey there's apps for that too for wildebeest yeah yeah and people but by the way, Taylor mentioned that he's comfortable public speaking. That is a huge advantage at work. Gigantic. Now, Taylor works in marketing, so I'm just making a guess that he's not the only person there that's okay speaking.

But if you work in, like, IT or something, you are a unicorn comfortable getting in front of a room. And that was something that was, I did well in my IT career. And I think a big part of it was that, like they just don't have anyone else who can really sell themselves or sell what they're doing and explain. That you were a native English speaker.

That's part of the unicorn thing. You know, like even the people who were also comfortable and half decent speakers couldn't flow like a native speaker even if you're uh if you weren't like independently confident all the time when you were at cisco or wherever like oh i'm not that great of a public speaker i guess i'm all right like was there a special kind of confidence you would get in like public speaking or leading presentations in that

when you would go around people like in your unit and be like, well, Jesus Christ, compared to these people, I am like a Hitler level orator. My master's degree gave me that confidence. During my time at Cisco, I got my master's in engineering with a focus in comp sci. And that sort of puffed me up a little bit internally. And it was like, you know, my opinion is as good as anybody's. I've got this thing. It's hot off the presses. And I'm smart enough.

And sometimes I'd do my project work for school at the office. Because it's such a good environment to get things done. There's no one bothering you. It's like a proper chair and desk. As opposed to laying in bed typing. And I'd just stay late at work and do school stuff and i'd sometimes be like you know what none of these fuckers could do what i'm doing right now and it made me feel good about myself have you ever had to listen to

like you know how like when you like sometimes they'll change something in the network or whatever and so like it will have to go in front of uh hr and marketing and sales and all the other departments and be like, all right, some things are changing with your email and fucking this is what it is. As someone who's not in IT, those are the most uncomfortable presentations because those people come in and it's like, we just are ready to get back to whatever we're doing. And some dude comes in, he's giving an Oscar speech,'s sweating of like and you will need to make sure that uh this is not can you put the next slide gummish next gummish next slide it's like oh my god just just tell us how to fucking dude it would be like it was different if it was me

just just explain to me what you want us to know and i'll relay it to the gang yeah no someone do do public speaking who is like has zero experience at it is really fun i was at a zoning meeting makes me uncomfortable i we were we were getting some uh some property rezoned from like i don't know in residential to industrial because it allows you to like run machinery late at night and be as loud as you want and do certain things that are nice or it makes the property value higher too. So we're sitting there waiting on our turn to speak to the zoning board. It's a bit like a church, this building.

Everybody's kind of in like – I don't know what to call them, but benches. Everybody's on benches, and then there's like a board of like five – there's like a zoning board of like five individuals up there they're all 50 to 70 years old and you know they're they're dressed well and they're they're hearing each person come up and and and you know explain why their property should be rezoned this guy gets up there he wants to rezone part of his farm so that he could he could put in a paintball field because his son likes paintball and they want to put in a paintball field and have other kids come over and pay to play. He's got this written

thing with colons. There's bullet points as he goes down. He's shaking as he goes up there. He's just sweating. He's like, safety! The paintball field will be safe. We will employ netting. He sounds like Cank Hill. Netting.

And he gets through his whole speech and they have questions for him and he's just thrown for a complete loop. They're like, well, what about snacks? Will there be snacks? Well, there won't be snacks per se, but there will be a water fountain so that the children can be hydrated. So there's not going to be any concessions or anything. And he's like, well, I suppose we could sell peanuts or something like that.

He was just thrown for a loop. And we're over there just, you don't want to laugh in this thing because everybody's taking it seriously and they're about to hear our side of this thing and we want this rezoning but we're over there just red face just just dying laughing because this guy's melting down under the pressure it was i i wish i had that reaction to uncomfortable things like in real life like speeches or someone making an ass of themselves in public. Like, but my I wish I could laugh like that. But all it does is make me like grit my teeth and like make my stomach hurt.

Like I just when I see somebody floundering, one of the hardest part of public speaking in like school where they'd be like, you have to do a presentation or whatever. It was never doing the presentation. Doing the presentation is not that fucking hard like it's just not just go up there and fucking do it do like two practices beforehand you'll be fine the hardest part was sitting there waiting to do yours watching other people suck dick with like the quivery voice when they're speaking and you just have to sit there and like there's nothing worse than getting 40 seconds into someone's 15 minute presentation and they start the voice quiver and you're like oh no oh i'm just gonna have to have a stomach ache for the next 15 minutes while i watch you i love it i can't

relate to that at all it makes me so uncomfortable is it because you care for them you feel bad about them yeah i feel bad like i i don't want them to be up there failing it's just like oh dude like come on you could do this like it's not because you're watching them and you're you're watching someone who's so far in their own head that they're they're making themselves fail like there's like they're failing there's no reason they can't do that it's like you know we can all walk in a two by four in the ground, but not a lot of people can do it between buildings, you know, and it's the same task. It's just that it's messing with your head. But I don't, like, I feel bad for them and I want them to succeed. But typically, all you need to do is stay out of their way. Like, that's my only goal. That's my only task. Don't laugh out loud at them. Don't mock them and maybe even don't help them if i'm running the meeting sometimes

and they're failing hard enough you can find a way to help them like you know like hey do you want us to circle back to you you know taylor can go next and then we'll do you again and give them a chance to collect their thoughts or yeah or you ask them a question about something that's like that you know is more in their wheelhouse. Yeah. So what's your favorite kind of operating system, Pajit? Oh, Linux or whatever it would be. I don't know. Isn't Linux an operating system that nerds use?

Yeah. It's what the cloud is made out of mostly. I don't know what the cloud is. I know that a lot of celebrities nudes are are on it and i want to know how to access it uh yeah the cloud just basically means somebody else's computer and they they've really complicated it far beyond that but it's like yeah we keep all our stuff in the cloud yeah you mean my computer like it's it's the cloud to you but to me it's the same computer as we've been using forever um yeah but oh so i want to talk about the franken thing the

al franken thing he for people don't know that we record this on thursday and he resigned today right uh or i think he announced his reason he's going to resign in the next couple of weeks he just says i'm going to resign yeah do it over the next couple of weeks. He just says, I'm going to resign. I knew it! I knew it was a good deal. I thought it wasn't. I thought he was going to he was like, hey, you know what? I'm going to go to the ethics committee and all my homeboys will say I'm cool. I thought that's what was going to go down. You know why they're doing it, right?

I know exactly why they're doing it. There's two reasons. I bet we're going to match up. I bet I have one you don't. We'll see. We'll see. One, of course, is they're going to match up. Yeah, go ahead. I bet I have one you don't. We'll see. We'll see. So one, of course, is they're trying to twist the screws on the Republicans who have these sexual assaults. And so far, all the Democrats, like you misbehave, you get out of line, you're gone.

You lose your job. You're out. But the Republicans, Roy Moore is running and he's literally a child molester. And Trump is backing him, who is literally a sexual assaulter I don't know if that's a thing and They're trying to paint the GOP as the party of the sexual assaulter So they have to clean their own house if they're gonna do that the other thing and this is the part I thought maybe other people hadn't considered but

Then when he gives up his seat He'll be replaced with an interim senator chosen by the governor. The governor of Minnesota is Democrat. So it's not like the Democrats are losing a seat. They're just switching a guy. And then when that vote comes, it'll be 2018 for like the real senator seat. And it's expected to be so blue that whoever whether that interim becomes permanent

or whether it becomes another guy they think a republican will have a real hard time running in that midterm so it's kind of not that costly to fire franken no it's super advantageous i i i agreed with or you had both i thought you'd only have the one oh okay yeah no that uh because they there's nothing like negative for the democrats about getting rid of franken right now because it lets them like you said put more pressure on roy moore which that dude should drop out like it seems like at this point even though it's like like court of law innocent until proven guilty it's like well there's enough evidence here for like that you shouldn't be voting for this guy you know like you shouldn't be in this position. But yeah, they can get rid

of Franken and the governor's Democrat. So they just throw another Democrat in there. Like it's the same reason that nobody on the Democrats cared that Bob Menendez, the senator who was accused of hiring underage prostitutes in New Jersey, nobody called for him to step down because the governor of New Jersey is a Republican and they would have lost that seat. And so like, it's clearly a calculated political move and it's a, it's a smart political move, uh, on their part. And so we'll have to see what, what happens there with, uh, cause they're not losing anything. The only person who's getting kind of fucked is, uh, well not even Franken because didn't he like kind of cheat his, his seat in the first place in 08 with like, where they kept recounting and recounting and recounting and recounting until he won by like 300 votes 312 and i thought he won

those votes like i thought there was a huge okay my impression was it was really close so almost within the margin of our ability to count votes which is disgusting but i thought he won and i hadn't heard it it wasn't like a um he ended up winning like as far as like what actually matters like he got the seat and he pushed through obamacare like that that was a big election if it wasn't actually won but uh yeah because that's what gave him the super majority i had actually never heard anyone question it before i've heard a number of people but i'm not educated enough so i assume it assume it's probably on the up and up for the most part. Just probably some sour grapes from people.

But, yeah, I think it's good that Franken stepped down, but did you hear his apology? Not his apology, his little speech. The speech he gave where he took shots at Moore and Trump? And he implied that the women accusing him were making shit up. Like, he totally, yeah, he definitely did he implied that they were lying what he said was he's like you know i took responsibility and said they all should be heard but people misinterpreted that to say that i agreed with all these accusations when in reality he's like i didn't remember some of them and yeah

yeah women need to be listened to but these ones come on maybe like two two percent of these are true or whatever yeah yeah because like okay i i wish i heard his side a little more clearly because he kept playing the look i'm on team woman here you know so they need to be listened to and taken seriously and there was never any like good denials so the one where he sort of groped that woman through the big flak jacket bulletproof vest thing um that one he straight up admitted to because there was a picture the one same woman forcibly did a during like a rehearsal put his tongue in her mouth uh he says i don't remember it that way and i want to be like how do you remember it you know like i i'd like to hear your side and not

just you know what i remember it slightly different i had a mustache in my memory like you know like what is your side of it um the one where he squeezed a woman's butt at first i thought that is horse shit right because it was at a fair hundreds of people watching did that a thousand times a day you know right there her husband i think might have been taking the picture or in it too like he's not sexually assaulting a woman during that picture and then if i'm right six more people came out with a similar accusation you know like yeah now i'm starting now now it's like wow you know it seems like you do this i guess so yeah i guess it's good that he stepped down i again i feel like the democrats are playing by a tougher set of rules at least

on the sexual assault thing you know like, like, Wiener was gone. Franken is gone. That old dude who doesn't stand up straight is gone. Callahan or something. Conyers. Okay. I mean, but Conyers has been... There's pictures of those first two. And Wiener was, like, sexting with an underage child. Like, he was found guilty in the court of law. Yeah, and he's

in jail. And Moore, on the other hand, just as fucking guilty and well we don't know according to judge i do think that he's guilty but he's not in the court of woody he don't know yet if he's guilty as imagine that trial there's there's like 40 witnesses parading through right now like because it was 30 the day it came out, and it's just been going up since then. I made up 40, but it's got to be 35, 40. Cosby got off. Yeah, Cosby. A policeman has come out against him.

Literally. Saying that he had to protect him from the cheerleaders. Mall employees have come out saying that. Yeah, they banned him because he was such a creep at the mall. Yeah. Isn't that what it was? Who hasn't been banned from the mall? I have not been banned that what it was who hasn't been banned from the mall i have not been banned from the mall who hasn't been banned from babies are us when and where you can take your pants off like i i thought this was america

you know it would be funny if roy moore ended up being someone who was like like one of his like big positions was like you should be able to use whatever bathroom you want. And everybody's like, yeah. Wait. Wait. Wait. Fuck. Fuck.

Wait, because it's Royena more now. Oh, no. Oh, no. He's taken our topsy-turvy world and taken it to its logical conclusion. Oh, no, he's taken our topsy-turvy world and taken it to its logical conclusion. He said that 9-11 was God's punishment for gay people or something like that. It might have been. It might have been. For gay people.

Yeah, and then he said something else. Oh, I wish I could remember. He's got at least three awesome quotes. He said that Muslims shouldn't be able to be in U.S. Congress. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah there was a guy who swore on the quran and he doesn't like that and like that you're just doing sharia law but christian um and then there was another one the 9-11 i think was the best one though where he's i wish someone's take on homosexuality should be illegal

i wish someone's take on the whole bathroom thing was that they just identified as transgender while just being a regular man, but they didn't do anything sexual in the women's room. They just took huge, smelly, angry shits. They just blew out women's rooms and made them completely disgusting for everyone there. That was their deal.

They could go the Ice Poseidon route. Like go into ladies rooms i like their pussy not sexually no yes not in a sexual way you know sometimes i just grab them like a bowling ball but not sexually like a six-pack yeah yeah i enjoyed having ice on last week everyone seemed to really uh like that i'm glad we did that he was did that. He was a lot of fun. Dude, he was more out there than we are, and that's like a first for a guest. Usually we bring the guest up a notch,

you know, in terms of like what they typically share. Down a notch. Okay, okay, okay. Down a notch in terms of class. Attack. But Ice was already there. Ice was turned up to 11 before we turned the camera on.

Yeah, he reminded me of Wings a little bit, but not so ignorant. Wings wrote me because we talked to him on PKN. I think he was upset because I didn't reply, but I was actually out flying while he wrote me. And it's like, dude, sometimes people are off their computer. But apparently he weighs 464. And I think what happened is someone in the chat wrote 540.

I don't know who. And I ran with that number. You think it was you? Well, I got that number from some of his math, I thought, because I thought that he said something about about losing 50 of his body weight and then he'd be 270 pounds so i just multiplied 270 by two and got 540 well he might get a different answer when he takes 270 times two see there you go see there you go see and and this circles full back around to my point you Ice is kind of like wings, except less ignorant. Sorry I participated in that. I feel so bad.

It was sitting out there for me. It's just fun. It's just good kind fun. If it's good fun for Kyle, it's good fun for all. Right? Somebody photoshopped me this thing together. I so we've all heard of

i think there's like a workout program called like beach body by like you know by like jimmy machida or something's one of those fitness guys like beach body by jimmy i want and it's got like a like his logo of him flexing and just you know the the nice like masculine like great body or maybe it's a chicken and bikini i want one that says beached body by wings maybe it's a chicken in a bikini. I want one that says beached body by wings, but it's just got the outline of an enormous wings on the logo. I really want that photoshopped

for a banner. So Wings tweeted about you. Can I read this? Have you seen it? I haven't seen it. I know I hate how if his cow talks about me like I'm an idiot. Then he proceeds to not understand a video

he can watch multiple times. Then acts like he is the bigger, he is the bringer of information to the uninformed. So I think what he's saying here is you talk about him like he's an idiot, but the reality is you are not able to fully understand his videos

wow and maybe they're just over my head is that what he means it he said video then he did you talk about one specific video kyle uh well we were talking about the video where he's talking about his tijuana surgery and how he was going to lose his belly button. And I think the only thing that I inferred from it was that his mother doesn't have a belly button because he was like, I think that, uh, that, you know, I'll probably lose my belly button. And, uh, cause he sort of said in the video that his mom had gotten the same surgery that she's pushing him to do this thing.

It's a shame she can't like just keep the donuts out of the kitchen. He said it. I can't wings. If you're watching this, I can't like just keep the donuts out of the kitchen he wrote he said i can't wings if you're watching this i can't switch to the skype you wrote me because it like they won't be in the picture and it'll share it all and you might not want that but he said he was going to buy two plane tickets so that he could have a caretaker with him i don't know mom grandma friend but the two plane tickets are not so that the, you know, he doesn't make someone uncomfortable next to him. He fits in a single seat. It's,

Oh, he does not. All right. Well, all right. Well then he's the most inconsiderate person of all time then, because sliding 460 pounds of him into one of those fucking coach seats is just criminal,

criminal. I would, if he tried to sit down next to me with like if it's like he and gangster grandma come sliding down the aisle and they're like um gangster granny's got that seat on your left and i have the one on your right i'm protesting i'm getting up what if you put gangster grandma in there is no way to organize them if you could put gangster grandma up his ass inside of him, and it's still not going to be enough room.

I think there is. I'm thinking this through. Window, wings, Grandma, you. No way wings spills past Grandma to you. It would be spilling past Grandma. She would be enveloped by him like the blob. She would be in there gurgling in the fat rolls like no she would die i mean she wouldn't survive the trip if she if she has to be between us

she would never survive like i i would be trying to pull down the armrest and and and i it would wouldn't work it that's criminal if he's gonna try to fly fly and only use one seat. I do think the ideal situation is that he and his grandma share three seats. That is the ideal situation, yes. It absolutely is. They would have a little row. It would go from aisle to window and they just that would be great. Especially

in wings, you might double think about this. For the ride home you might extra appreciate the elbow room. You might get squished in a painful way for the ride home. You might extra appreciate the elbow room. You know, you might get squished in a painful way on that flight home. Think, think about the amount of time it's going to take you to fly from Conway,

South Carolina to Tijuana. Like you are going to want, I suspect. Oh no, no, no. You are going to want two seats. Every leg of that, of that trip.

Like you're going to like 20 minutes in one seat. You're going to be like, this sucks. This fucking sucks. It's like a five hour flight. It 20 minutes of sitting in one seat, you're going to be like, this sucks. This fucking sucks. It's like a five-hour flight. Yeah, I would guesstimate. Because it seems like from Atlanta to LA is like a four-hour and 30-minute flight. But of course, you're on the ground

for at least 30 minutes extra. Forget about flight time. It's about seat time. That's what we're talking about right now. He's going to be in that seat five, maybe six hours. I've been on enough flights where every now and then, they're like, we don't have a gate ready for us,

so we're just going to do laps in a jumbo jet around LAX for the next 45 minutes. I've got to piss so goddamn bad, but they won't let you up. It's the worst. Cool. Not cool.

No. Have you ever, uh, peed? Uh, this is probably a crime. Like, I,

I, I, I've peed in a bottle on an airplane before because I wasn't able to get up and I was going to pee all over the place. Wow. I was like, uh, God damn.

I think I was, well, no, I was not an adult. I was like, uh, it was for a Hawaii trip and I was a family and I was maybe like, were you like, uh, I think I was, well, no, I was not an adult. I was like, uh, it was for a Hawaii trip and I was a family and I was maybe like, like, uh, 13 or 14 maybe.

And so like, I was like, I, I, I was, it was the closest I'd ever been. Like, I don't think I've pissed my pants since I was a child because it's pissing is you just run and you go pee. But like sitting there, it was like, oh my my god like i've never felt this close to even when i had to pee really bad i've always been like i'm not gonna pee myself i'm not gonna pee myself it was like a little like like spurt came out and i caught it and i was like oh oh i'm gonna pee all over this flight and we are not even we're going from fucking hawaii to st louis and we're still way over the ocean like there's we're not gonna it was a turbulence or whatever no no because there was there was a uh the

seat belt sign was on and so you weren't able to slide on that i didn't everybody was asleep the seat belt sign was on and so i took a coke bottle and i peed in it and then i closed it and i tossed it under uh the the seat and said i'll get that later and i forgot about it you're like a trucker on it piss jugs everywhere like oh god this is the hottest coke i've ever felt oh i'm gonna throw it down but uh i am i don't want anyway wings get two seats you're gonna be infinitely more comfortable you're gonna you're gonna regret it if you don't like definitely definitely definitely oh so wings is active in the subreddit wings i didn't see any of this i was out flying

claims i'm 540 pounds i'm actually 448 my mother had the surgery when i said in the video multiple people in my family have had surgery in Mexico claims two tickets are for me alone when I say I'm taking my mother with me to Mexico he just gets a lot of stuff wrong and then makes fun of me you hurt his feelings Kyle

first of all you should have two tickets not taking the poor motherfucker your mother isn't a big person but gangster grandma is a small person like like now that i know that it's going to be you and your mother oh my fucking god i would protest i would not fly with you i would make such a stink about that i would i would be like i am a fucking Delta member. I have 280,000 frequent flyer miles. I'm a gold medallion man.

You cannot do this shit to me. I am. I think I'm a platinum, a diamond, or something like that. Like, you cannot do this to a platinum medallion man. All right? You have to move some shit around, put that fucker in cargo where he belongs. Like, this is not going to work. Not at all.

He brought eight hoagies for his carry on. This is absurd. This is absurd. Jesus Christ. I have a hard time being mean to wings and I don't know why. Right. Like I'm reading this like he's mad about some of the stuff that you or we got factually incorrect. Right. anything it's like he's mad about some of the stuff that you or we got factually incorrect right

and i'm thinking to myself you told holiday doc that i stole all the like charity money right that was fucking in like just totally made up out of whole cloth i don't even think it was a while ago i did this thing called king of the web and i won it first place got seven thousand dollars i literally like took the check and mailed it on camera. I have the tax deduction. They sent me t-shirts, and they still write me. I don't know how big the charity is, but I think seven grand was an unusually big donation.

Anyway, things just flat out talk shit, making up lies about me, right? I don't know where it came from. You kept it and sent a fake check? I don't know the details of it, but I was talking to Holiday Doc about it. After the video went up, I was like, what is all this? Like, I thought we were broke.

Like, he's like, I have a reliable source. And it was Wings. And I'm baffled by it, you know? Like, and I am the villain of YouTube over this thing. And it was fucking Wings just telling lies about me. So now, you know, when he's whatever, flying coach next to some poor soul for his weight loss thing, I'm like, am I allowed to be mean to him?

I don't know. I feel like I'm punching down. I am punching down, right? You're allowed to be mean. Well, I mean. But do I not get to punch back punching down up left right he's everywhere when he's close i i mean there's a balance between punching down and punching back i don't know i'm holding on to old stuff that's certainly true

so i just look at this i gotta read this reply i'm sorry to interrupt you but but but like chiz is like feeding us information and here's like here's a quote he also claims i didn't know why i'd lose my belly button my i love his corrections of me just make him look more gross and like a fool also claims that i didn't know why i'd lose my belly button that's not what i claimed i i i claimed that he said he was going to lose his belly button and that's crazy to be he says, my belly button is eight or nine inches deep, and they can't go through it. They most likely will remove it. This is all by chance if it can't be saved. And some people have it.

Some people don't after the surgery. I've met two people with two people without it. After the surgery, I've met two people with two people without it. I don't understand how the belly button is more difficult than just the regular stomach area, like three inches above the belly button, right? Like, how is that? His belly button is deeper than a vagina, first of all. Second of all, I like that even one of the PKA commenters has the exact same reply as I did. Like, the reason we thought you weighed 540 is because you said that 50% of your body weight would put you at 270 pounds.

Like, I can't help it if you can't do basic mathematics. When did he say that happens? You need to have a tentative grasp on the English language. Oh, man. I don't understand the belly button thing it how is that harder to deal with than the regular fat belly that's just a couple inches above the belly button dude i don't fucking know i don't know what how the surgery works and they core it like an apple i'm googling this i'm just starting but it appears that some people lose their belly button to the rolls of loose skin right so like it would be discoverable but now because they have all this loose skin they don't have a belly button anymore i believe

what you're saying is factual but that's not what he's talking about he's he doesn't know what he's talking about first he said he met two people without a belly button yeah without belly makes me think that he saw it and that they had like that kyle xy or whatever that shitty show was years ago on wb and they used to call me that in high school i didn't care for it and and and the other thing is like i don't think his mom has a belly button as a result of this because i think he insinuates anyway that his mom doesn't have you know did the surgery too he's probably gonna die on the operating table so we won't have to worry about not having a belly button. He just is. I just cannot see

this is a delicate procedure and putting someone like him under anesthesia is just super risky. This is crazy to do. He should have spent the last year dropping 100 pounds the hard way and then do the surgery the same way Boogie did. He went on a

liquid diet and he lost dozens and dozens of pounds before he went under the knife. If Waze weighs 448, like he said, Boogie got the surgery at like 500, right? Yeah. That's actually better than I was thinking. Yeah, we were thinking 540. Yeah, but Boogie's doctor didn't go to Hollywood upstairs medical school.

That's a six. Like Dr. Nick. I have something. I'll read it. So I was trying to Google about the belly button thing, and it was six things about weight loss surgery that nobody tells you. One is it can ruin your social life and marriage. I had at least three appointments with my surgeon's office prior to my surgery, including

one with my psychologist. Initially, I figured that everyone working there, from the nurses to the dietitian, were all just really friendly since they kept asking about my family and were they supportive of my decision to have surgery. Wasn't it nice of them to care about me and not see me as just a big fat sack of cash? It turns out it was because they knew something I didn't. Bariatric surgery and the rapid weight loss that follows changes your social life in ways you would have never seen coming. I can't eat without my family. I'm sorry. I can't eat with my family without them chiming in that

I need to be careful not to eat too much, even though I'm the one who is going to throw up later. It made me so defensive that I feel the need to explain myself to restaurant servers because they are thinking, why is this fat girl only ordering a tiny cup of soup? When will this asshole shut up so I can go get her die damn soup? It will have a profound thinking that much about you. It will have a profound, shocking impact on romantic relationships. The divorce rate for bariatric surgeons, surgery increases so much that they have a term for bariatric divorce. I'm not chained down by some silly husband, but I've seen how it happens. One obvious reason is that spouses become increasingly insecure about their new,

hotter husband or wife. But a lot of patients also report feeling like a completely new person. They're more confident and they may have developed interests and activities they couldn't do before. The spouse may feel like they have nothing in common with the stranger who keeps calling themselves by their spouse's name. Remember, this person doesn't look anything like the one you married i can't overstate how much that part messes with your head yikes yeah because i it i don't know boogie talked about his uh in a live stream about the challenges he's having with his marriage after his weight loss success and i'm like oh i didn't realize that that was like par for the course i think uh yeah i really don't know much about the whole boogie situation but yeah i mean but think about that weigh all of that against dying of obesity like and if your

entire concern is like oh i feel like i need to explain myself to restaurant you know workers and waitresses and actually i i would usually eat more than this you can tell because i'm a monster but uh uh tonight i'm having a little cup of this because i had my stomach stapled or whatever like no nobody's thinking that much about you like that's that's like the biggest thing that helped me in like middle school and early high school probably early high school like when you're more self-conscious than ever like someone told me it was probably my dad or mom or something where they're like you next time like like pay it you're sitting in class and feeling self-conscious think about how much you're thinking about the little

things that everybody else is doing in there in your class and it's like oh i'm not thinking about it at all i'm so in my own head because i'm fucking 14 and you know i'm gangly but fuck like that i'm i'm you're wrapped up in it like that's the right attitude to have like realize that nobody is giving a fuck about what you're doing half as much as you are they're all in their own head like i know that always helped me in high school mentality it's not always true but i guarantee kyle you are so goddamn vain you are in your own head too oh you're standing in public and you see a really good looking guy walk by you're thinking am i i'm better looking am i better look i'm better i don't worry about that i i'm very secure with it with myself and where i stand and where i sit

and you know all all of the above okay but what i i am judging people, looking at them, like observing them, like seeing if they have like a nervous twitch or something. They're doing something weird with their hands. Like I'm always looking for people being weird and being awkward. And I'm always watching people judging harshly. I could have just given a couple people social anxiety, a little bit of help,

and you just come in and slap it down. I am different than, I'm on a team with everybody. Everybody, you know? We're at the gas station, and that woman doesn't know you have to press the green start button because this one's weird. Keep an eye on her, making sure she's okay. If she struggles for another 15 seconds, I'm going to offer her a hand, you know? Because it's weird, this one.

And driving, you know? We're all just out here together, trying to get where we're going. Same team, you know? Oh, did you, you know, not realize that was your exit to the last second? That's happened to me, too. It's cool, bro. Like, that is my... It's not that I'm not paying attention to them.

It's just making sure, you know... That's common courtesy shit. Like, last night, I was at the grocery store, and it was very cold. The grocery store was closing in 45 minutes, and I noticed the shopping cart boy is, is like pushing that big row of shopping carts back into the store and i look out in the parking lot there's not a single shopping cart out there and i'm like hey i'm gonna take this all the way back in the store for him you know and i i did i took my shopping cart all the way back for him that's you know it's common courtesy shit that's

fine i i'm with you i i assist people i enjoy it you know i i would i would certainly pull over and help well that's not true but you know if someone needs help i i usually provide it especially if it's some tiny little thing that i think will brighten their day up a little bit but i do that sometimes to my own detriment i've had to i've had conversations with myself you know like oh there's a a piece of furniture in the road someone's gonna hurt themselves so i'll pull over here to the side and remove it so that no one gets hurt and then it's like fuck what did you think that through like if they dodged to the right your truck would be in their shoulder where they're trying to go to not hit this furniture like this is a whole bad

situation and your daughter was sitting in the back you know yeah like this whole thing but already incredibly dangerous seat yeah yeah i don... In the back of an already incredibly dangerous seat? Yeah. Yeah. I don't think the back of small pickup truck seats have the same safety standards that regular cars do. They don't have any safety standards. Quite frankly, the back of your truck is a death trap. I bet they're better now.

This is 17 years ago or 15 years ago. Have you guys ever done something benevolent or nice, more than common courtesy, and just by happenstance you get something out of it where you look really good? Because most of the time when you do nice things, nobody notices, and you can't bring it up, or people will think you're a cunt, which is true.

Yes, only because you are. It's true, that is. But I had the most perfect little thing happen this past weekend. I was hanging out with some friends and a couple of girls at a bar. It was getting late, and I was like, all right, I think I'm going to head home. And so I was heading home, walking back to my place, and I passed this homeless guy. He was like, sir, sir, I didn't ask you for money. I just want some food, man.

I'm so hungry. I'm so hungry. And I was like, you for money. I just want some food, man. I'm so hungry. I'm so hungry. And I was like, you know what? Let's get some food, man. And so I started walking with this homeless guy. We were chatting. I took him to a corner place and just told him, get whatever you want. You want a couple sandwiches or chips or a hot meal, whatever.

And so I just let him pick it out. They started making it. I bought it for him. And as I was leaving with him he had his shit and he was like being all thankful like thanking me being super nice like kind of following me back towards where i was going like i was being very polite uh we passed some of the girls that i was hanging out with earlier that night just by random chance and it made me look like a fucking the best Samaritan ever. Because here I am with food that I bought for this homeless guy after I was like, God, I'm getting tired. I got to go home and go to bed just like 20 minutes before.

And they're like, oh, my God, did you buy that guy like some food? I never do that. Does that happen? Or can we tie this back to the previous conversation where they're not really thinking about you? No, this happened. This actually happened. The second part, part though they did notice okay okay they did notice because like they were like i was walking by with and it worked even

better because i didn't notice them standing on the on the the sidewalk i got like two feet past them with mr uh black now hunger satiated homeless guy and they go yeah rufus uh dj uh is what's his name and uh and they're like, Taylor? Is that... Are you... And then we had a little talk again, and there you go. I looked fucking great. Like, I'm gonna start doing nice things so much more on the off chance

that it gets me laid. Fake nice things to do. Like have someone cosplay as a homeless man. I'm gonna hire DJ. Here's what DJ can do for you. You hire DJ to come in and accost some woman, like get all crazy and in her face, like, give me a dollar!

You're going to die tonight, bitch! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! And then you swoop in, like, hey, get out of here, you! You leave her alone or I'll kick your ass. Is Marty McFly in this scenario? Yeah, yeah, exactly. You and Rufus could have a real nice thing going on.

Rufus gets all the hot sandwiches he wants and you get all the hot pussy you want. He probably lives down there on the street under your window somewhere. You could just be up in your window like, Rufus, the blonde, the blonde. And while he's accosting her, you're running down the stairs to go save the day.

Dude. Oh, man. I can hire a whole mini cabal of the homeless. Is Rufus intimidating looking? His name's not fucking Rufus. It's DJ. It's DJ. Rufus.

Okay, well, Rufus is like 6'3". And to be fair to Rufus, he was definitely a heavy enough guy that this probably wasn't the first sandwich he had that day. Oh, this is perfect. A guy even bigger than you, and you come in like, hey, you leave her alone. Get out of here, you. I'll kick your ass dude you and rufus could have the greatest symbiotic relationship of all time like like he just gets i would make this happen i'd be like yo rufus would you accost pretty white women for

me and i'll come in and run you off and uh you know i'll give you 20 bucks a day how about doing it without you may May as well. I've been accosting pretty white women for years now. Ain't never got a sandwich out of it. You just go all over the top fucking racist with your sandwich and your shucking and jive, you know, hand motions. Oh, that's funny. You guys do some sort of like, you know, it'd be some kind of weird handshake that white people aren't good at. sort of like you know it'd be some kind of weird handshake that that like white people aren't good at there'd be some some wiggly fingers and some waves and and like two slaps you know like like that thing it'd be like pop pop and then there'd be a finger snap at the end like rufus we can't

do this fucking 28 second handshake after every accosting there are people are catching on we're working together you know about a big boom i fucking love this idea i i bet if you ran this by Rufus, like, all right, Rufus, don't do anything illegal, but, you know, accost him a little bit. Like, angrily ask him for a dollar. And then I'm going to swoop in. I'm going to run you off. And, you know, meet me by the door later. I'll slip you a toilet. There's going to be a hot Qdoba burrito right behind that tree 20 yards there.

And when I come over there, I i go get out of here rufus stop bothering this sexy lady with her big pouty blowjob lips and then you run over there and you grab your hot burrito and you you go you know until next time yeah okay this is happening i need to find rufus i fucking love this idea you get so much ass like this like and then he's gonna beat my ass no dude he'll you can call him fucking mr bojangles he's a very very sweet homeless guy from our one encounter together yeah they're all sweet until you start giving them kidoba then they'll do whatever you want yeah yeah this is probably you could be like rufus just beat her to death if she doesn't you know and the ones who don't like respond to your

if you come and save the day and they're like thanks and just walk away you'd be like get her Rufus like she wasn't convinced enough like get Rufus to go over there and start whipping her ass a little bit and then you come in then maybe she's a little more grateful like you escalate you escalate

things maybe he injures her just a little just like a just that much just enough to need to have to come back to my place for a little bit of uh very poorly administered medical care like i'll just put a little bit of neosporin on whatever it is and there you go just they're making your move you know i like it like we don't have any other infections yeah like you maybe you know you buy him some steel-toed boots with the implication that he kicks women in the knee with them. She's all limpy. You need to help her along. I don't want to take him to the hospital, though. How about just –

Not him. You're going to take her to your place, and then you nurse her back to health. She took me to the hospital. My leg's broken. That homeless guy kicked me. And you can be like, ah, then she's dependent upon you, right? Right? I'm nurturing that dependence, because she knows if she goes back outside, Rufus is there with half a

burrito in his hand. Step one. Demonstrate value, right? Yeah, if she tries to leave, you, like, look out the window, give Rufus the old wink, and then he starts, like, screaming and, like, yelling up at the window, and she's like, oh, maybe I'll stay here for a while. Yeah, yeah, I'll walk you home in a couple hours, but I've got to, I got to work on my, my medical thesis, so let me, let me get back in here. By the way, let me

bandage that up for you. You know, you pretend like you're a medical student in this, in this, in this terrible scenario. That would be even better. better see that's how you get her back upstairs oh i'm a medical student i've i've got my bag upstairs i could take a look at that knee for you that rufus kicked with those that those look like new steel toe boots to you yeah he must have stolen them off somebody big violent guy yeah yeah i've seen him in the neighborhood that's rufus the the kneecapper yeah yeah he's, he's crazy. Great guy. I mean, horrible guy. He loves Qdoba.

Loves it. That's how I get my way through. Burrito bowls. What other fun things could I do with the local homeless? Because there are a plenty. What else could be done? I would like to start a homeless doo-wop group like uh get

them all like doing that thing really for the longest time time time time looking in her eye and then rufus jumps in oh and when i find you i will be right behind you uh and then they all sing as a chorus i haven't been there for the Longest time And then they're just down by the window You could serenade ladies The longest For the longest time

Yeah, Rufus is going to do that low note for you Okay No No, I'm not going to do that one who is uh honestly buying that big homeless man a brand new pair of steel-toed boots is gonna be a better idea than than trying to teach him to sing i don't know how to sing and i can't imagine that that's gonna scare any ladies into my arms you know unless it's like really late at night and she's walking down an alley alone and she just hears the whoa and it's four large uh four large homeless gentlemen you know they're all they're all snapping their fingers and chorus and like walking maybe if you got them to do um

what's the michael jack thriller oh that would be great because homeless people look so decrepit and stuff if they were doing the thriller, like while the music was playing. I can get some of the more, like, meth-y looking ones for that. Oh, do you have meth-y looking ones? Oh, I'm in Missouri, yes. Ah, of course, the Missouri capital of the Midwest. I mean, the meth capital of the Midwest, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, I love this. I wish I had homeless to use here. You can come by any time and borrow mine. There's so many of these fuckers. You gotta get them in line for me. We've got them in Raleigh. There's way more in the summer, because a lot of them are fake homeless.

Yeah, I hate the fake homeless. If you're gonna... I like when I see someone and I'm like, you are homeless as fuck. I can tell you are legit homeless. like there's people on like i don't know about where you guys live but on pretty much every fucking exit off of the highway near the city there's a bunch of people standing there with like signs and shit like asking for

handouts and sometimes i'll be like okay you look to be like a white bitch early 20s and those are your sneakers are clean like see you're a liar you're a liar i don't know. You're a liar. You're a liar, man. I don't know if they're a liar, but sometimes I think, like, oh, shit, I've got, like, bushes to trim. You know, if I hand you a, what's it called? A trimmer, right? What is it? Gas-powered thing that chops bushes. A hedge trimmer.

If I hand you a hedge trimmer, do you want 20 bucks? Because that might be a win for me. But I think they'd turn me down. I don't think they're looking for work. I think they're looking for money. Yep. Most of them will turn you down if you offer food. Like, they're looking for drugs.

Well, aren't we all? Like, I've probably, in my entire life, I've probably offered food to a homeless person like five times, or probably like six times, and they've accepted it like twice and dj was one of them usually it's like you want you want some food no and then they keep walking because they're looking for you know crack or meth or heroin money long time ago i was probably 20 uh some guy homeless guy was like you know hey do you have a dollar? And I was going to give him a dollar. I checked my pocket and I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. All I have is a 10,

right? Because they're not going to give him 10. Like, and by the way, I don't have any money at this point. I'm like a, I don't know, swim coach or something and part-time. And all I have is a 10. He's like, well, then give me the 10. He's like, what the the fuck man i don't know i was like was i supposed to beat him up for like accosting me like what was the proper social response to him demanding more money but i i just kind of yeah i don't know brushed him off like yeah i i never i my answer is always i don't carry cash yeah like i i never reach for my wallet to let him know which pocket it's in or anything i I never do that at all. The worst?

Oh my god. There is a homeless dude around here who comes up and he's got so much energy. He's like five foot four. He like, he's bouncing all over the place. He's a, what's that like John Mulaney joke with like the Batman doctor nurse? He's like, you know, we are all blessed. It is no day to be stressed. You know like that character in his stand up. He's like that know we are all blessed it is no day to be stressed you know like that that character in his

Stand-up he's like that he's so so Upbeat like all about that so you can see this guy bouncing towards you and he never will just come up and be like you Got money he's always like let me tell y'all a joke let me tell y'all a joke or two and so suddenly he's now standing With like your group of friends while he tells like some meandering homeless joke that doesn't go anywhere. God, if I remember what the joke was later, I'll tell it. But it took probably two and a half minutes to tell, which is a long time to pretend to be interested

in a homeless person's joke, because you can't, in the middle of the joke, be like, so anyway, Aaron, you want to go over here after this? You have to be intently watching. Everything that he says that's a little funny, I'm, oh, oh, oh, oh, look at you. Look at you after this? You have to be intently watching. Everything that he says that's a little funny, I'm, oh! Oh, look at you! Look at you, buddy!

You have to do that. And then as soon as it's over, everybody has laughed because you don't want to get stabbed with a sharpened toothbrush afterward. And then, because everyone's laughed, he's like, alright, alright. You got any money? I'm just a veteran. I'm a veteran. He doesn't actually show a tattoo, just tins. And he does that and it's like uh you you have to give that guy money i'm i think the smartest move

for me is to just start carrying around a pack of cigarettes that's probably the smartest move i'll carry around a pack of cigarettes and if you can if somebody asks you you know you got money and you go no i got a cigarette though All of them will go, oh, okay. That's true. That's absolutely true. I remember one pack of cigarettes. In Missouri, we have the cheapest tobacco prices in the country. It's like four or five bucks.

So, like, one of those that is 20 in there. And, yeah, it just got shot down again. It was a big thing here where it was like, you know, they're going to raise the tobacco tax. And, you know, it was like, you know, they're going to raise the tobacco tax. And, you know, it was like, Missouri says no. I haven't been interested in cigarettes since I was like 10, and a pack is a dollar to me. That's like – No, they're $5 a pack.

They're like $12, $13 or something in New York. The cigarettes you want, kiddie cigarettes are like – They're homeless. I can buy the cheapest things. Like $8 a pack or something like that. It's fucking expensive. But, yeah, yeah yeah i've i've often given i remember like maybe we're in chicago or boston i don't know which but i went downstairs

to smoke outside the hotel and the homeless were everywhere and i knew they were out there so i had taken down one of those snack packs of like tuna salad you know it's got all the ingredients for tuna salad plus crackers and i had it in my coat i was planning on giving it to any homeless people that were out there. And there was a homeless man. I was like, he's like, hey, you've got to smoke. Can I get one of them? And, you know, I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I give him a cigarette.

I'm like, hey, are you hungry? He's like, yeah, yeah. I give him the snack pack or whatever. And, like, he and I sat out there for, like, 20 minutes, like, smoking multiple cigarettes while he ate his tuna salad. It was a great time. That was, like, seven years ago. I still remember old homeless Joe.

Good guy. Old homeless Joe. Old homeless Joe. Let me do a couple ad reads. He's probably dead. He's almost certainly dead. He froze to death in the winter of 2011. Tell everyone about smart mouth here because bad breath is nasty, embarrassing, and a major problem in both the

boardroom and the bedroom. Most people still don't know the true cause of bad breath, instead relying on ineffective, low-tech methods like gum or mints to simply mask the odor. When you smell bad breath, you're actually smelling volatile sulfur compounds, also called sulfur gas. Germs in your mouth consume protein and produce those foul-smelling gases as a form of waste. Smart Mouth is the only activated oral rinse clinically proven to eliminate existing bad breath and prevent the return of sulfur gas for a full 12 hours per rinse.

SmartMouth comes in a two-chamber bottle. One side contains a clear sulfur eliminator and the other contains a green zinc ion activator. The eliminator and the activator are kept separate until you pour at which time the two liquids combine and activate. The sulfur eliminator gets rid of existing bad breath and the activator releases billions of zinc ions, which bind to those germs and block the germ's ability to consume protein or produce that smelly sulfur gas for 12 hours.

No sulfur gas, no bad breath. If you want to solve a real problem, you need real science, not a minty cover-up. Nobody wants to be the guy with bad breath, and now you never will be. Find SmartMouth at Walmart, Walgreens, CVS, Target, Amazon, or wherever you shop, or visit them online at SmartMouth.com to get an in-depth analysis

of how SmartMouth is able to deliver such an incredible result. Remember to use code PAINKILLER when you visit SmartMouth.com for free shipping today. Yep. Check it out. It's the only thing that gets rid of your bad breath. It's awesome. Keeps it gone for a long

time. If you're going out for a night on the town, you can't afford to get three beers in and then smell like an asshole. You're going to have no success. You've got to stay strong. Use some smart mouth. I attribute 96% of my Tinder

success to it. And the other 4% is working out. So the personality, none of it. So it's all that. Also, Chiz wants me to remind you guys, we've got some special PKA Christmas merchandise. I don't like when people say Xmas, Chiz. You write the word out.

This is America, goddamn. This is Trump's America. I hate that, too. You can get 10% off using coupon PKAXMAS. God, it's in the fucking code. It'll work for the next

24 hours, so jump on this quickly. PKA, it's going up for the Patrons, so Patrons can take advantage of the savings. There's a link below, but it's even the link is Xmas. Xmas.PainKillerAlready.net Oh my god, Chiz.

You are a Jew. You did this on purpose, didn't you? Just to irk me. This trumps America, Chiz. This does seem like something that Chiz would do to get under your skin, right? Because I think he knows that we don't like Xmas. I don't like Xmas at all. I remember when there was a cartoon

that used Xmas growing up. Leave the crust in Christmas! You people have a problem. Like, what the hell? Who has such strong opinions about Xmas? People as religious as Kyle and I. Okay, my mistake. The Church of God. That is Pentecostal down here.

We didn't even tell Woody that you and I had a heart-to-heart, and we decided to get back into the Word of the Lord. We're going to church again. Yeah. All things are possible through Christ. That's absolutely right. These shirts are pretty funny. I'm looking at the, I think it's a sweatshirt, a jumper, whatever that is.

Taylor, I think, is the elf. I think I'm the deer, and Kyle is Santa. Yeah. Yes, I am the elf. Yeah, and the Santa has a gun, so I'm pretty sure that's Kyle. Santa should have a gun. He's got all that merchandise with him.

He's going to strange houses. I mean, it just makes sense in the lore. Like, Santa should be armed. Imagine, like, dude, Santa would get robbed each and every year in New York and California. Like, none of the West Coast would get gifts. Because he wouldn't make it past Detroit.

No. His sleigh would be up on blocks. The reindeer would be fucking. Doing crack cocaine somewhere. It would be game over. Is it that dangerous anymore? Or is it to the point now where it's like everyone's gone? They'd be pimping Miss Claus out.

Okay. Miss Claus doesn't Yeah, okay. Miss Claus doesn't go on the trip. You don't know any of the... How do you know? Because have you ever watched anything about Christmas? She's in the sleigh every year. She's giving him sleigh head. You just can't see her.

That's what's going on. They just don't show that in the children's movies. This is all taken out. That's why his nose is so red. You know, it's always all... Yeah. You get a red nose from it? Yeah, Santa's always got a red honker.

Right, but I've had blowjobs, and that doesn't happen to me oh it does to me you're just getting them wrong that's why i was talking to a girl the religious thing i was talking to a girl last night and uh i was like yeah i went to the church of god growing up and she's like i've never heard of that what is that and she's like it sounds very pentecostal i was like well people did speak in tongues she's like yeah that's pentecostal did they have snakes too i'm like no i didn't have snakes there's no snakes in my church i'm just asking people made up silly languages but no snakes no snakes but like i can't even judge like i when i went to my friend's church i don't know how old i was like eight can't even judge. What do you think we're weirdos? When I went to my friend's church, I don't know how old I was, like eight or something, when I spent the night at his house for a sleepover, and the next morning his family took me to his church and seeing people doing the tongues thing, it was so not what I expected

from church. I don't know. It was just weird as a child. Anyway, sorry Kyle, go ahead. No, no, you're fine. We get it. Holiday shopping can be tough. But thanks to movement, all that gift-giving anxiety can disappear with the press of a button.

These watches make the perfect purchase for just about anyone in your life, guy or girl. And remember, they start at just $95. You've heard us talk about movement, and I'm sure that you got yourself a watch by now. But let's finish your holiday shopping and get Movement Watch for someone else on your list. With Movement, you can skip the crowds and standing in those crazy lines for the holiday season and find a gift that they'll love at a price

that beats those department stores. Movement Watch is starting at just $95 at a department store. You're looking at over $400 or $500. Movement figured out that by selling online, they were able to cut out the middleman and all that retail markup, providing the best possible price. At such great prices, Movement watches

make wonderful holiday gifts. Classic design, quality construction, and styled minimalism. With over 1 million watches sold in over 160 countries. You can get 15% off today with free shipping and free returns by going to MVMT.com slash PKA. Link down below.

I really like their watches. They're very nice. I always say it, but I like the black on black. That's my favorite one. So go to MVMT.com slash PKA and join the movement. Definitely check them out. High quality, heavy watches for a reasonable price. I bet Rufus, he would like the gold one.

You hook Rufus up with that gold one, little bling, and he'll be accosting blonde women for you all week just for the watch. This is a good plan. This is a good plan. I'm going to offer trinkets to local homeless people who are going to inevitably find out where I live, and then I'll have kind of a clan that shows up randomly outside until eventually I become tired of giving them things.

And then they will eventually break in. So yeah, this is a great idea. Part of this happened to me. Let's definitely do this. We had a guy and he came to our door. He said, look, I noticed in your front yard you have weeds. For $20, I will pull all these weeds. And I was like, you know what?

This is like a great plan. Because pulling weeds, not my favorite thing. This was an apex. And sure enough, he gets down there, yanks every weed out. Big pile of weeds in my grass now. But you know what? He wasn't charging professional landscaper prices. But then he keeps coming back he keeps

coming back he's like this is the house that hired me like he's a regular here and i'm like no man not like it i think when i first hired him my wife and kids were visiting the in-laws well now they're home and now he's very upset that i have like fed a homeless dog and it keeps coming back looking for more money until i was eventually like, man, my wife doesn't like you coming around here. You've got to stop. And he did. You catch him late at night sprinkling dandelion seeds all over your garden. He pulls them all

during the day, plants them back at night. It's poo-poo. $20 a day for old Rufus? That's all I need, goodbye. The crackpot plant of meth and heroin addicts yeah i i love the idea of paying rufus to accost women for you like like i i honestly feel like it would be go to prison no you won't rufus will tanya harding never went to prison or actually you're right because they're going to go

They're going to say Some lady's going to be He's going to accost her too hard And kill her Because he's a homeless man And you know he might And then he'll say That guy right over there told me to do it

And then I would say Pardon me And then I would go home and and he would go to jail exactly okay like i i see no problem i can pretend to have been friends with the girl who died yes and then you get in with her girls around because they're like funeral thing will start and they'll and they'll be like what happened here's like oh this girl died a good friend of mine oh susanna or whatever and then and then you'll get comfortable around you oh and her friends are like her friends are all like are you the guy that that that she was talking about that she just had met that she really yeah yeah

that's me you're the medical student yeah that's me uh i'm all broken up about this and you fuck all of her friends with that funeral sex and then old maybe old rufus has some buddies that you can get to accost these ladies so now they're going to be super terrified of rufus's friends when they come around and then once again you swoop in and and now it's not just that you save them from an accosting you save their lives that's true dude this is mixed up proof rufus and the gang like i one might be enough i don't know who... What if he comes full in like deep? Like a whole clan of Rufuses and they all want their own burrito with double meat?

No guac, you fucking freeloaders. I like this a lot. Maybe you just give him chips at first. You just give them chips. Chips and queso. You get cold salsa until you've proven yourself. Yeah, right? They got the all-you-can-eat salsa.

You just get like eight cups of that. Everybody gets a little salsa. I want a verde. Shut the fuck up. You get what you get. Actually, I could make an initiation thing so that, you know, Rufus, I bring him in as my first mate. No? First mate? That's pretty gay. What's a better thing? A lieutenant?

Number one. My number two. Who does number two work for? You're telling who's boss in there. Don't take any guff. He's my number one. And then other homeless people who want to join our clan he he beats the shit out of them and then that shows that they're like down with uh the taylor gang jump them in yeah the taylor gang that's what it'll be i hope i get don't

get sued by little wayne i think that's his thing it is but he's so out of it on cough medicine he doesn't fucking know he'd hear it and be like that's a pretty good name i like that name you jump in your bitches in for me, Big T. Yeah, he'd be okay with it. He'd be okay with it. And then I can slowly aggregate a group of homeless, but I can't think of anything useful that I could use them for other than scaring people and coercing people into fucking me.

I'd love to see them. Well, I mean, what more do you want? First of all, I mean, if it gets there's there's nothing you won't do to get laid except for, you know, rape. You know, that's that's the line that's been drawn for us by society. Unless she's consenting in 14. Drawn for us by society. But like maybe I'll tell you what, I would love to interview homeless people on this show like if you invited rufus up and we spoke to him about how he got to where he is they all have interesting stories because you know they they've sort of it's never like well you know i never got

an education and my dad was shitty and so this is just where i am and i like drugs a lot like like you know you never get that out of him he's gonna to have a whole sob story about how his life took this downward slope. And maybe it's true. It's different strokes for different folks. Some of them actually had terrible things happen to them in their lives. So I'd love for you to get Rufus on the show. I know you'd love for it,

because he's not going to reach through the TV and pull out your jugular while you're doing an Alex Jones impression, because it gives him a flashback to the war. something like who knows that's like a lot of these guys have got to be like vietnam vets especially like the like what age is that like 55 65 oh you're right yeah okay never mind most of them are probably if they're homeless they're not they're in like la or they're dead yeah the non-vets are dying out really quick, especially the homeless non-vets.

If they've survived... 65 at least. It ended in 73. I really need a calculator here. 73. You'd be born in 54-ish if you got a year of it. 18, yeah, 55. 1955, so it's 2017. You get a year of it yeah 55 1955 so it's

2017 okay so 62 at the youngest I thought it was going to be higher well okay Kyle I'll put out some feelers for the local gents and see if they're interested in coming on the show

why are you pretending to be frozen, Kyle? Did you guys see whoever that actress plays Sansa is going to the X-Men? She's going to be in the X-Men? Yeah, here. I have a picture for you. There's an Entertainment Tonight cover. I don't know. Entertainment Weekly.

Dark Phoenix. Who's that? Oh, he wasn't pretending. I thought he was pretending too. Yeah, he froze right at a little smug Kyle face. So I was like, yeah, you're fucking around. What is this? X-Man?

I don't know my cartoons that well. Or comics. I'm sure I just insulted somebody. But here she is she's going to play dark phoenix apparently sophie turner's her real name and it's the hottest superhero story which i assume is in reference to the burning hair i think that's a pun yeah because it also says at the top scorching double issue jesus christ and she's got some really dry skin do we like her as an actress i don't know no she's not very good right she just i mean like she's i'm sure she's a good enough gal

but she's not that great at acting i saw her on um what is the james colbert thing in the cars when they sing? Carpool Karaoke? Oh, I'm not familiar. Well, if there's any way to get a sense of her from Carpool Karaoke, she's just a pretty ordinary high school level drama kid is my takeaway from her. I don't know. I love Game of Thrones, but it seems like the pinnacle roles, Jon Snow, Daenerys, and Sasha,

I don't know these names, Sansa, they're all ordinary actors. The best of the actors are not in the best of the roles. I love that you call her Daenerys. Daenerys? That's like a black man's name.

Daenerys? I know a guy named Daenerys, too. I bought him a sandwich. Is it Daenerys? Daenerys sounds like the point guard for the Bulls. Daenerys Wilson plays his tight end for the Chiefs. You guys aren't telling me if I have it right now.

Is it Daenerys? Or is that still wrong? Daenerys. It Is it Daenerys? Or is that still wrong? No, it's Daenerys. It's not Daenerys. It is Daenerys. Daenerys is just as fine. Mr. Sneaky. I can't trust you people.

Daenerys! Didn't you at one point say Darnassus? I don't think so. Do you remember that guy? That sounds familiar to you say Darnassus? I don't think so. Do you remember that guy? That sounds familiar to you, Darnassus. Dionysus! Dionysus! Is he the god of wine, or is he the fucking

ice queen and the fire queen in that show? Oh, shit. I don't like... What's her name? Sophie Turner? Yes. Is the other one maizey williams i like her a little more yeah that's who are yeah yeah not only like game of

thrones a lot but i like her in doctor who yeah they they often infer sort of not infer they often imply that they're like an item and they're aware that like um you know there's like fan theories about it and like people fantasize about it so they sort of allude to it in kind of a funny way that they're like a couple and that they're fucking and i like that because that i i would pay an enormous amount of money to watch that porno like they have to be in game of thrones garb like i want them to utilize the set right you bring in your like gorilla style you bring your cameraman in they're on the game of thrones set and and so he's like this is mother and father's chamber not anymore and then they start fucking right there on the bed

who's the dead guy who ran the brothel i can't think of his name right little finger oh yeah peter balish did he lose his brothel i mean he, he lost his life, but did he run the brothel to the end? I think so. Because that's where I wanted to go down. Like the same bed where Oberynch's dick showed or something. You know, the poison dude. Yes. The red viper.

Yeah. Well, they're in the north, so. Well, I mean, I do hear what you're saying. But it was just, it was gonzo style right like it were they going to be in character yes yes this is an incest fantasy that i have like like i didn't know it was part of the amazing williams and sophie turner fucking this is this is the the the stark girls fucking and like in my head and then like like during the sex maizey keeps putting a different face on so you get like multiple actors fucking sophie like i want it's a magic face thing does she get a dick

when she puts that on could she i think she does because she gets the rest of the body oh man like like you can she could be johnson it's not like she turns into the mountain but four foot tall oh now she's got like this colossal dong and then she's like just kidding she takes it off you know this will be great oh man i would i would i would pay one bitcoin to see this fan to see this go down you'd pay do you still have your bitcoin i i yeah i i only have five grand worth but not anymore. Now I've got... Yeah. It's almost doubled. Ten or something. I bought it at 9,400, 9,500, something like that.

Last night, I'm like, this thing is exploding. Steam stopped accepting Bitcoin, like the opposite of adoption. And Optic Big Timer did a 25-minute video on how he thinks Bitcoin is a bubble that's about to pop. And just all this negative. I heard a lot of people saying that. Everyone seems to unanimously agree it's going to pop. But no one seems to know when. And I was like, you know what?

I'm just going to take my win. I bought five grand. I made a little less than five grand, but more than four, like somewhere in there. And for two weeks of doing nothing. And I'm like, I'll just take it. You know, whatever. I'll cash it out. I'm fine. And, um, I cash out, I wake up in the morning and it's already like $1,800 higher, you know, like my little piece of it would have been, I'm like, mother fucker. And it just goes, it is rocketing up. I shouldn't, I sold too early, but yeah. What are you going to do?

No matter what the price is, I'm going to buy more and more as soon as i can and i'm just gonna put it on that bit wallet and i'm gonna leave it there and in five years i bet it's worth a hundred thousand dollars or it's worth nothing yeah i or it's worth nothing and you know i've got yeah but like you're being smart 50 like i guess i the comments i saw about people being like, oh, the bubble's going to burst. Like, it was more or seemed to be aimed at people who are, like, putting their financial future in this instead of people who, like you guys, are investing because you want to, you know, take advantage of an opportunity. Well, I mean, you're kind of like doing the fear of missing out investing, which isn't usually the good way to direct your investments because it's like, oh, I don't want to be the guy who doesn't get in on apple i may as well buy in right now you know like or whatever it may be do you remember the scene from braveheart when the cavalry is is is running toward william wallace and and all the uh the scotsman of course i do and they've got those

spears hidden in the grass and they're like they're all scared as fuck they're like they're right on top of us hold like i want somebody to make that meme with that because you know then they just just impale everyone oh that's such a great great fucking scene they've got like the the fake horse bodies on like these these carts that they're rolling into them and impaling with the spears it looks so real it looks like a hundred horses die in that scene. That's one of my favorite scenes. FOMO, I'm glad Taylor said it. It's usually a terrible investing strategy, right?

And I'm watching myself do everything I know not to do, right? Like, and I'm not buying Bitcoin. I could be wrong, but I wasn't buying Bitcoin because I had some real confidence in its future as a new currency. If you're that guy, then that's a good reason to buy it. Me? I was just FOMOing it. I just feared missing out. I only bought it because it seemed like it was doing so well and I wanted a piece of the action.

Then when my money almost doubled and Steam stopped accepting it, I can't believe that weighed that heavily on my mind. But I was just like, you know, I have no confidence that this thing is any good. I'm only buying it. It's only going up because other people say it. It's totally the tulip thing. Yeah, I'm a cryptocurrency expert.

You can get your facts from me right here, right now. You guys want to keep buying no matter what the price is that you keep buying. Keep buying more and more. It's going to be the official currency of several major Asian countries by this time next year. It's going to be at least $80,000 a coin

next year. You want to get in while the getting's good. What Asian countries do you think it's going to start with? South Korea. South Korea, for sure. They're going to get rid of the dong. Is the dong the Vietnam currency? It is. The dong is so small in South and so they're gonna get rid of the dong or no is the dong the vietnam currency what is it is it is the dong is so small in south korea they're going to switch over okay i can't believe i knew dong was was uh vietnam look at Oh, you're so smart. Man, what's Korea?

The gang. The gang? Yeah. That's not right. Of course it's not. I made that word up. Gang is a real word. Gang is a word, yes. They're in Philadelphia. Yes, but I made that current... There's no G at the end. It's the gang.

Gang. Gang. It's a Vietnamese word. Swallow your tongue. Yeah. What is yen? It's Japan, right? Yes, yes.

What is China? Oh, I know this. Fuck, I know this too. I clearly don't. Is it the wand or something? A wand. A wand. Yeah probably.

That's the wand dollar. Yeah. No that's a. What the fuck are we talking about? Just mocking Asian people's accents right now. And talking about made up currencies. They never get offended accents right now and talking about made-up currencies. They never get offended. It don't matter what you say to them.

You can do anything with Asian accents. Watch anything with South Park. There's nothing funnier than fucking Trey Parker's Japanese because he studied Japanese in college. That's why he does it so, so hilariously perfectly. He hits all the right. Like, oh, it's going to be a rot. Like, with the...

Kairu. Like... Kairu. You want a cuttlefish or a vanilla paste? Okay, I eat the cuttlefish. Oh, the cuttlefish are not sitting well. Have you seen how they do Ike's voice? It's his little daughter.

He puts his daughter on the mic and gets her to do Ike's voice. It's really cute and hilarious when they're doing it together. So she's like... For her to say, like, dirty shit to... Yeah. Yeah, so she's like three or something and so the way he gets her to do it because you know she can barely speak is is like he says it with her he's like shut up cow you're a pussy and and like they say it together three four times in a row and then on the fourth time he doesn't say anything so the girl just says it by herself like really confidently in lab shit okay you're a pussy and he's like yes we got it we got it

it's really cute it's really cute that's funny yeah wait but mike's been a character for years um i i'm sure that's old footage maybe of that i've been watching of when she was a tiny little little person. Yeah, I'm not sure. Yeah, I like the making of stuff from that show. I watched the most recent, maybe not the most recent one. Last week's episode was good, I thought. Donald Trump basically nukes Canada.

And you see the nuke going off and all the Canadians flying through the air and getting exploded. It was good. That one made me laugh. Man, I think I'm like four episodes back from that. I don't recall what the most recent one was that I watched, but I'm not laughing that hard at it this season.

It hasn't been a very good season. YouTube has ruined me for traditional shows. Like, if you don't jump cut a character breathing, I'm wondering why it's not moving along faster like i yeah you know keep it snappy guys i i see stuff unfold with your traditional storytelling and they're like oh my god you take so flipping long to get to your point are you short on ideas do you have a small concept of a story and a twist that you're trying to stretch out to 10 hours of a, you know, like a 10-hour long season?

Yeah. I don't know what the scoop is. It's just, it's ruined me. I think I've destroyed my own attention span by watching too much YouTube where things, you know, move along at a quick pace. Yeah. Most of the YouTube I'm watching right now is total world warhammer so it doesn't really apply oh did you play that youtuber i thought i saw somewhere i didn't i it was yeah for me but it was like an hour long i just can't watch all this yeah yeah oh um i i so so i saw that turin

uh his channel is turin t-u-r-i-n he does total world warhammer stuff he does it well uh he's a smart guy i i watch his videos daily and i saw that he was streaming on youtube and he gets like a thousand viewers in there or something like that and so i tried i steam i um stream snipe him like me i'm like i'm like quick searching while he's searching and i first game i get in with it i'm like oh shit it's the macho man because that's his steam he changes his Steam ID so people don't recognize him. And I did fairly well. Did people know it's you?

Like, he didn't, in the little bit I saw, he didn't immediately say, like, oh, my God, it's FPS Kyle. Yeah, yeah, they didn't know who I was. No, no, they didn't know who I was. The stream didn't either? No, no. Okay. But I came fairly close to beating him.

It was a close game. It kind of came down to the wire. But, of course, he got the better of me in the end. He's one of the better players that there are. He can hang with anybody. I mean, he's not like the top three best in the world or anything, but if he played the best player in the world, it would not be a blowout. He'd give him a game.

Yeah, he'd give him a game, and if they play five times, he might win three, but he'd probably win one or two. He's a very good player, so it was really fun to play him. I couldn't get back in after that game. But yeah, that was a fun game to play against him.

He knew exactly how to beat me. He really knows what he's doing. That game's a lot of fun. You played your best build this time, right? Give yourself a better chance. Yeah, yeah. I was definitely trying as hard as I could, but it didn't matter you know it's it's all about it's all about matchups in that game um there's it it's it's all about matchups

and and knowing what units do and what units vulnerabilities are and he uh he took out my the strong parts of my army immediately or or you know he focused on them and made sure he got rid of them and he knew what he was doing i made I made one mistake, but it's probably boring. But yeah, it's on his stream if you want to see it. I think they linked it on the subreddit with a timestamp if anybody cares to watch it. It's all of its existence, but that's not the kind of video I watch. Have you been watching UFC lately?

So this guy Nganou is the new heavyweight hyped. He's like the Conor McGregor of heavyweight. And he earned a title shot after he knocked out Overeem with this uppercut that was outrageous. And Joe Rogan is saying stuff like, I think Nganou, one or two more fights,

you're going to be looking at the Mike Tyson days. You're going to watch fights just to see how long those motherfuckers can survive against this guy. Yeah. Wow, that's hypey. Yeah. I think Miyuki is cool. in gano is really uh really impressive he's a real physical specimen he's a young guy he hits so fucking hard is he

the guy that has the record now for like the most you know units or whatever in a punch or something maybe that was um uh it doesn't matter. But really impressive when he hit Overeem so fucking hard. You could hear it. Overeem has fewer brain cells today. He's going to be forgetting where his keys are pretty soon. I've only seen the ending of it. I haven't seen the whole fight

develop. I might change. My money's on the champs. I think he's underrated. Stipe? Miocic, something like that. Miocic. And, uh,

so here's the deal. And you know this, but people might not. In heavyweight, because everybody's got the touch of death in their hand, people tend to get knocked out more. And, you know,

you could be the type of fighter who's 60% better than the other guy, and that doesn't matter. All he needs is one good hit. It's like having a fight with little tiny stabbing knives or having a fight with battle axes. Yeah. The stabby fight might be more fun to watch because there's going to be lots of stabbing and parrying and stuff,

but the battle axe is, and the guy's in half over and over. That's it. that's it that's it so nobody has ever defended the title more than twice ever throughout all of ufc history from the beginning to the end no one has ever had three defenses stipe has two right now if he beats this ninganu guy then he's the best uf UFC heavyweight there's ever been. Or at least the most effectively defending one.

I'll watch, I guess. I don't care. Honestly. I don't think it'll be a very entertaining fight to watch. I don't find heavyweight fights to be entertaining. They don't move very quickly. They don't. They knock out, though. They do, but I feel like you don't put on a real, they do, but I feel like you don't get a real technical,

uh, show. I'm most excited about, um, can I say it? Can I say it? Yeah. DJ versus TJ.

Oh, wow. That is very interesting. And that's, that's the premier matchup that's in the, that's in the works. I don't even know if it's been finalized yet or anything like that, though. I want to see Holm versus Cyborg,

of course, because I think Holm has a real chance, and she's a betting... You can make some money betting on her. And, of course, Khabib Nurmagomedov facing off against Barboza, I think. I just want to see Khabib fight.

It's been like a year and a half or something it's he he has no room to give conor mcgregor any shit about defending belts or getting in fights or anything because this motherfucker i don't the last fight was the michael johnson fight god that seems like forever ago right yeah i was that 2016 15 it seems like forever ago it was forever ago McGregor hasn't fought in 17 and he won't well yeah Mayweather but he hasn't fought in the in the UFC so he'll be somewhere out in 18 and I don't know what kind of troubles he has he jumped into that Bellator ring and got himself in trouble there and yeah yeah I I heard that that's why he's not fighting in 2017 because they were going to put him on the December 31st or whatever it is card, the home fight, the home card.

He'd be headlined, and that would be one hell of a card. Oh, the Holly home, okay. Yeah, yeah. You got McGregor versus whoever as your main event, and then home Cyborg, one below that, and then Habib Bar barboza one below that that'd be a hell of a card um it's already i'm already gonna buy it i think because i want to see i want to see home possibly beat up cyborg cyborg's a freak show to me yeah yeah yeah we've

talked about her a lot on the show people probably know what she looks like because i always show her every time look at what a guy she is yeah it's it's awful. It's a real... She's too masculine for me, and that's a thing. Oh, you're damn right. Yeah. You know, that... You don't see that much. Do you hear what Ronda Rousey's doing? No, but I'm going to guess.

Oh, did you already say WWE? No, I said WME. Because I think that... Well, that's the thing that owns the UFC, right? Okay. I think maybe they own the wrestling stuff too. In any case, they're finalizing some kind of work for her to be pro wrestling.

I guessed it. Yeah. I don't see her doing well. I would see her wearing some sexy... Look, those wrestling girls are always really scantily clad with the ass cheeks hanging out and titty nipple slips and stuff.

So, good. That's where I'd rather see her anyway. She's going to be fat? Oh, yeah. Okay. I'm done with Ronda. I remember Ronda. She was a pretty dominant fighter. I'm finished with her. That's where

we'll keep her in my memory. Yeah, I want to see her in top position on... Oh, maybe she fights men. Now, that'd be cool. That'd be cool if she's like arm-barring the guys and throwing them around. So silly. Those men... I'll watch. Joe Bozon couldn't beat those men. I'll

watch. Okay. I'll watch. I got some new shoes. This isn't really much of a topic, but it's sitting right here next to me. I got some new shoes this isn't really much of a topic but it's sitting right here next to me I got new shoes I'm very happy with this shoe I got I like those what have you been wearing them with

your stretchy jeans these are brand new I just got these today I haven't had a chance to even break them in but can you feel like the Cambodian effort brand new. I just got these today. I haven't had a chance to even break them in. Do you feel like the Cambodian effort that went into that? These were Steve Madden's.

These were made in China. The rich man's Cambodian. You and your imports. You highfalutin. So classy. Oh, we make a Steve Madden shoe here.

Let me tell everyone about Omaha Steaks. Yes, definitely. The holidays are fast approaching. You can order gifts for everyone on your list with the click of a mouse. Let me tell you about Omaha Steaks and how for only $49.99, you can get the family gift pack when you go to omahasteaks.com and enter our code PAINKILLER in the search bar. That's 75% off.

Right now, Omaha Steaks is giving an exclusive savings just to our listeners here. Listen to everything that you get for less than $50. Two filet mignons, two top sirloins, two boneless pork chops, four boneless chicken breasts, four kielbasa sausages, four burgers, four potatoes au gratin, four caramel apple tartlets, one Omaha Steaks seasoning packet. That was delicious. Plus, you can get four additional kielbasa sausages for free by just going to omahasteaks.com, entering our code PAINKILLER in the search bar, and get that 75% off savings.

It's the gift guaranteed to be a hit. You can't go wrong with steak. I want them. You absolutely can't. I know Woody agrees. Yeah. Like I said, you're bread and butter. Well, I guess you're steak and potatoes.

Yeah. Yeah. Steak and stir fry. I like steak. Whatever steak is on the menu that's it's a lucky day you can't go wrong with steak no you know uh have you ever met someone who didn't like steak yes not a vegetarian uh someone who like genuinely didn't like it hmm yeah well yeah i like i all right so i know a vegetarian who like just doesn't care she's like oh i'd love to have fried chicken i'd love to have you know like um like hot wings again but i have no interest in steak like i wouldn't care like i don't miss

steak at all so i don't get that i fucking love steak i i've been i've eaten three steaks this week and i'm gonna probably gonna eat a fourth after the. I've got a delicious bone-in ribeye in the fridge. It's all salted and peppered up right now. It's just getting delicious. Are you going to reverse sear it? I can just throw it in that 600-degree pan for a minute each side and fry up some potatoes or bake some potatoes or whatever I'm going to do. Probably fry them. Are you going to deglaze that fucking pan? Oh, yeah. I'm going to deglaze it.

What are you going to use? A little red wine. A little red wine vinegar? Yeah. You don't want to overwhelm the natural flavors or the natural citrus or whatever. Oh, God. That's one trope of South Park that i haven't got tired of at all yet is as long as it's a good one is like randy's interest in ridiculous nonsense because it seems like they're transitioning the show

from more or two more of randy and the adults doing silly shit from the kids doing silly shit which frankly like is a step down i think to any adult aside from randy randy's the adult that stands with the kids as far as randy's the funniest character on the entire show i think he's very funny he's i like butters a lot i i find butters to be really like i like when butter's mom is, stop making that stupid face! Stop making that face, Butters! She's how my face looks! He's still so bad.

And his dad's like, I'm gonna beat your ass if you don't stop that face! He's just like, I don't know what to do! Poor Butters. And of course, he's the one in the episode when they get the ninja weapons and catches the ninja star in the face. Night is fucking high.

Oof! Oof! They shave a dog and they tape hair all over him because they can't take him to the regular doctor. They have to take him to the fucking vet. Like wings. Like wings? What? Wings never went to a vet.

Well, how are they going to weigh him at the hospital? If you're like a lot of guys, you could probably think of a million things you'd rather be doing than shopping for clothes. Between the parking and the crowds at the mall and the endless browsing and lack of advice online, it's enough to make you want to rock the same T-shirt and jeans forever. But you can't. So let me tell you about Stitch Fix for Men. They've reimagined how to find and buy clothes, and you never even have to leave the house.

It's that easy. Just go to stitchfix.com, tell them your size, your favorite types of clothes, and how much you want to spend. And your personal stylist then gets to work handpicking new clothes for you based on your style and budget. Five items are delivered right to your door. You try them on at home and you only pay for what you keep. Shipping's free both ways. So anything that you don't want, just send back

and exchanges are always free too. You can get your fix monthly, quarterly, or whenever you feel like it. There's no subscription required. It's easy. The shipping's free. Why not give them a try? I promise you will be hooked. Get started now at stitchfix.com slash pka, and you'll also get 25% off when you keep all five items in your box. That's what I did. It just made sense when you looked at all the savings, like when you included the coupon and everything. It just made sense. That's stitchfix.com slash pka to get started today.

Stitchfix.com slash pka. Links down below. Check them out. I really liked my box of clothes. I don't know if down below. Check them out. I really liked my box of clothes. I don't know if Woody got a box of clothes. I like it when he doesn't get the shit and I do. He's like, oh, I wish I would get some of that stuff. Is that what Woody sounds like?

I wish I would get some of that stuff. Yeah, because he makes himself sound like such a victim. He's like, oh, I didn't get a box of sticks. I would get some of that stuff. Yeah, because he makes himself sound like such a victim. He's like, oh, I didn't get a box of steaks. I don't get shit. You get stuff. Chiz is the one divvying out the shit.

So don't look at me. I'm just the... You're just the benefactor. Yeah, I'm just the benefactor. I'm the one getting these bags of stuff. All of these sponsors we've had so far tonight all seem like they're trying to get you laid.

You've got Smart Mouth. That's a demographic. You've got steak. You need that when you're working out or when you need to make one for a lady who's going to be impressed by your cooking. And then Stitch Fix. Getting brand new clothes you're gonna our

demographic is horny young men that's uh yes and the hosts as well yeah yeah yeah do you do you consider yourself a young man still kyle oh absolutely in your heart of hearts in my heart of hearts absolutely i'm a young man i'm over here with a drawer full of dick pills and and i spend my days playing video games and watching cartoons. Like, what the fuck? Like, I'm not a real adult. Come on. Just because I got a bank account and, like, pay taxes doesn't make me, like, an adult or anything.

That's just silly. You're an adult, but you're not a grown-up. No. Thank you. Good point. Yeah, absolutely. I took two of those dick pills the other night. Two of these.

Oh, the rhinos. The rhino 50K. I took two of those dick pills the other night two of these oh the rhinos the rhino 50k i took two of them and uh and um like at the same time i popped them both a young lady was coming over and man i was hung over the next day like i i woke i stayed up till like 6 a.m the next day i got up at like one in the afternoon which i don't think that's bad it's like seven seven hours of sleep or something like that and i'm making my way to the kitchen as i do every morning when i wake to get my coffee and i'm literally stumbling down the hallway like like like discombobulated uncoordinated like not dizzy but just like out of it just wonky just just just kind of stumbling

around like i'm a little fucked up like it reminded me i was just fucked up i had to get like three cups of coffee into me and like have a bagel before i felt like i was all there um two of them they're woody jokes it's just like all bark, but there's other ingredients in there that are, I'm sure, Chinese herbs and spices and not the Szechuan chicken kind. The Dingxin extract in high doses is very effective.

Oh, you couldn't have taken twice as much Dingxin extract as I recommended? Oh, no wonder you felt so horribler. Oh, there's Dang Gui in here, too. Chinese to Japanese. There's licorice. Licorice? Yeah. They should have known not to include that. That doesn't sound exotic.

Panax, ginseng. There's all kinds. Superior soxide dismutase. Jesus Christ. And a proprietary formula. Maybe that's referring to everything listed above but god damn i i really believe this uh that two of them i actually had noticeable effects because i was like oh my oh so your erection was actually better it might yeah definitely so like

it was it was so powerful that i feel like extra skin was being utilized and my balls were actually pulled up tighter than they normally would have been because it needed a little ball skin to cover the entire right. Have you ever, and of course I know you have because you're an adult man, been so horny that your dick hurts?

Yeah. It's not meant to be as hard as it is right now. It's like someone overfilled the tire yeah like we're right on the precipice i call that maximum capacity plus one that's what i refer to those that's a wow real catchy yeah yeah yeah yeah maximum capacity is is you know plus one maximum capacity is like code for erection but plus one is like oh that hurts this is uh this cannot be maintained in pants this has to be unsheathed or it's just gonna tear right through these these pajama pants it's a really shattering the illusion of these uh sweatpants jeans like

very clearly not real jeans uh so it helped you with your boner but were you dizzy while you were fucking or was it just in the morning it was honestly the next day like i i i felt no like effects while i was on it other than like oh i think that's better than normal but the next day and i and i went multiple times i don't need to get too graphic here but the the next day graphic yeah yeah yeah yeah you see my glands was was just swollen in a purplish color that it normally doesn't get to normally it's sort of a no but the next day i really did feel hung over and and not very uh not very with it uh for for like a couple hours after i was up of course i didn't you know i didn't get my full 14 hours of sleep like I normally do. So it could be that. Your beauty rest.

Well, I mean, the fact that you got a hangover means there's actually something in there that's working. That's almost more compelling to me than the actual erection side effect. Because the erection side effect could also just be a placebo. Of like, all right, I'm taking some boner pills. I'm going to be so ready to fuck. And then it comes around and you're like, would you look at that? I'm so ready to fuck. I took those boner pills.

But, yeah, the fact that you woke up with your cinnamon bark hangover and your long dong spices or whatever. That's what it should be called. Long dong? Yeah, they should. Put a bit of long dong gin in there. of lung dung gin in there the uh what an interesting thing kind of related uh the the patent for um for uh not patent but uh whatever for pfizer's viagra uh you know they've had um a monopoly on this it's i think it's sildenafil uh they've had a monopoly on viagra basically the sildenafil boner pill pill since it was introduced in like

1997 or something like that it's been a long fucking time and yeah that makes sense because it would be 20 years uh so it's run out so now there's going to be an influx of all of these um generic uh sildenafil uh boner pills and so Viagra is releasing their own little white pill. It's going to be a white generic version of Viagra. So the price is going to drop from $65 a pill to something significantly less. Is it going to go to over-the-counter ever or no? I don't know. It should.

That would be great. But I still stand by that Cialis is a much better drug. Viacra gives me headaches and it makes me really sensitive to light. If I were to look up at a lamp or a light and it's just got this halo

of extra luminance to it, it's much brighter and bigger than it normally is. And when I look away, it's like I've been staring brighter and bigger than it normally is and when i look away it's like i've been staring at a welding arc it's like ah god because your your pupils are more dilated you know all of your well it's because you have like more blood flow to your eyes and to everything right like it's increasing vascularity everywhere all of your blood vessels are engorged and working overtime and uh and it's just it too much. I don't like it.

And one time, I took a Viagra and may have taken two. Oh, the girl gave it. That girl was great. The girl I was mentioning last week who was violent and pushed her ex-husband through the plate glass shower door, she was an Army sergeant and a nurse. She was a medic in the Army and a nurse outside the army. And so she had medications.

And so she had Viagra the way I remember it. And she gave me this... This protectionist turned off. And so she gave me Viagra the way I remember it. What's wrong with you? I don't know. My computer's doing something stupid. The hell is Woody?

I don't know. There we go. And so she gave me the Viagra, and then we got in the hot tub and had sex in a hot tub. Oh, that's asking for an IED. Or not IED, IED. Yeah. What? UTI.

UTI. Uterage? Urinary tract infection? Urinary tract infection, yeah. Fucking in a hot tub, are you kidding me? Why? Dude, those things are fucking filthy. Like, that's, like, something you're supposed to know not to do

is don't finger bang people in hot tubs like i didn't know that don't fuck people in hot tubs it's yeah well but go ahead that was not the that was not the uh the thing that afflicted me so hot tubs obviously raise your blood pressure so does viagra dude i i was fucking this chick and i all of a sudden i started getting really short of breath. I was like, like I could only inhale. Like it felt like 20% of the air I needed at a time. And I was like,

Whoa, we gotta get out. We gotta get out. Like I almost fainted and like I had to go inside and like, like I thought I was dying. I thought I was having a stroke or a heart attack or something. Like the combination of Viagra, the hot tub and the sex

Was just overwhelming my 26 year old body like I almost died I feel like if I kept going and tried to power through it at the very least I would have went Unconscious and like drowned in that goddamn hot tub like it was not good I I wasn't thinking about it because I I've taken the rhino pills too at this point and tried them out And I I didn't bring it up because I've never the rhino pills too at this point and tried them out and i i didn't bring it up because i've never i don't think it really did much yeah like i i was kind of like i i don't feel like i'm any more you know like anything's much different than usual but what i did notice is that like in the midst of like like in the last third of the fucking like like i like my heart felt like it was beating really weird

and and i kept like like trying to breathe more and like i couldn't get more than like like that level of breathing and at the time like we finished and everything and like for like 20 minutes afterward like i still was like feeling like what the fuck is wrong with you like i wasn't i it didn't even cross my mind that it could have been one of those pills because i thought like it's all made up didn't didn't do anything and so for like the next 20 minutes i was sitting with this chick you know we were on the couch after we finished everything watching sunny and i was still sitting there like like what the fuck like am i what the hell is wrong and i just made sense to me that it was that goddamn rhino pill yeah it's that cinnamon

bar getting in you making you powerful and strong okay that wasn't worth it then i then i'm gonna go ahead and you know what then then i gotta double up next time dude take two you know maybe take three no if one made me feel like that then i'm gonna go those of you not watching the video right now we're doing this like like rhino gesture like with our hand that's what i'm gonna do with the girl i'm gonna go ah you know i took my rhino 50k i'm ready to you know to to do to not go down on you because we gotta take advantage of this before i have a heart attack maybe woody's dealing with his mother-in-law for those of you who don't watch pkn wait like if you're not if you're not watching pkn as soon as it coming out comes out like you're missing out on a lot of fun stuff it's just a couple dollars a month sign up on patreon down below definitely look we're talking about his mother-in-law and he was like

he was talking about the drugs he had for the morphine or whatever and he was and he said yeah i don't know how to dispose of it and i was like, ah, you just put her out by the curb, right? Like talking about his mother-in-law. And now I just can't get that funny idea out of my head of like dumping her body out by the curb and the garbage man comes by like, all right, bag. He's sleepy. It's 5.30 a.m. bag.

Grandma! Oh, God! All right. And they just like, they give her the heave-ho, like one guy grabs her arms, one guy grabs her legs. One! Two! And then, of course, you know those how the garbage trucks have that crushing thing? Just like mushing his

grandma down into the garbage. Ah, she's so gruesome. As they're doing the swinging thing, her little old lady flip-flops, like slippers flip off. They toss her in there, and then the guy has to go back and get her little slippers. The gentle fluttering when she's in those

strong garbage man hands of her little nightie. They don't even dress her, they just roll her up in the blankets. Oh, that's fucked. This is a heavy carpet. Oh, watch who it's in there! No, Woody won't throw his mother-in-law away.

I mean, if it were up to him, he would. Just throw me in the trash! In the trash! Yeah, I wouldn't mind. If I die, throw me in the trash i but of course i understand that relatives and loved ones want to have like the ceremony to say goodbye and to you know have this last memory of you or whatever but like

personally you know from my point of view from the the potential dead person's point of view yeah throw me in the trash i don't fucking care you know you ever have sex with the bodies no i wouldn't mind I don't fucking care. You know you ever have sex with the bodies No, I Wouldn't mind Yeah, I mean I Wouldn't want to be fucked after I was dead no just as a matter like I wouldn't mind But I wouldn't want anybody who cared about me to find out that someone was fucking me ah see yeah that's a totally different thing though like like like let's say i have a

brain aneurysm and rufus makes his way up here and he's just like well you know let's not let anything go to waste you know i would much rather that not happen than it Or if it does happen, I hope he digs me up after the funeral and everything and then does it. I, um... Oh, shit. What was I going to say? We're talking about fucking corpses. Necrophilia. Woody's mother-in-law

throwing her in the garbage. Mother-in-law being dead. I don't know what I was going to say. I had something funny. I've been thinking a lot about killing since this god damn Hannibal show because I'm watching it so much oh I had a dream and I never

in our Skype chat Kyle will always be telling us I had a dream about I was on the shoulders of that green giant from those green bean cans and he was walking through the forest and I saw on the shoulders of that green giant from those green bean cans, and he was walking through the forest, and I saw upon the field, whatever the fuck it is,

and then you have to escape, and then you have a big murder scene or whatever. You have very in-depth dreams. Maybe it's that you remember so much of it, so you're able to construct it. I don't remember that specifically, so mine are always more piecemeal. But I've been watching a lot of this show Hannibal, which is about a serial killer who, you know, Hannibal Lecter. It's just about a different TV show on Amazon. For those of you haven't heard of it or seen it, it's pretty good.

Yeah. And it's just taking a different angle, not the not the old man, you know, Clarice angle that you saw in the Silence of the Lambs movie. And so I've been thinking a lot about murder. And everybody has like a murder plan in their head of like, you know, when you're like trying to fall asleep at night and you're just like sometimes like what if i had if i wanted to kill somebody like i wonder if i could get away with it you know like what would i do what would my smart thing be oh you didn't think of this you didn't think of that oh they'd catch you here oh you wouldn't be able to have the stomach for it like that kind of thing i mean i don't think i'd have the stomach for it but you have to like get rid

of those delusions right away sure but so basically the dream was no backstory it was just i uh you and i were talking about something and you casually brought up that you were a serial killer to me okay where you were just like and it was just kyle it wasn't you know uh rodrigo uh the tooth gonzalez or anything like I didn't have a cool nickname like you did for me in your dream but you just brought it up casually and my response was like not natural I was like really really do you like it and you're like oh yeah it's great I really

really enjoy it and I'm like really well what got you into it and you just like told me like about how you've been killing for a while and for some reason my response was always just like well well, that's really interesting. You know what? I'm going to try that. Yeah.

I'm going to try that. And you were like, you really, really should. It was like an oddly supportive serial killer comment. Like I'd given you a steak recipe. Yeah. Like you were giving me a nice fried chicken recipe or something like that. And so I was like, OK. And then before I before.

Really? Terragon. Huh. Terragon. It's bay leaves? Wow. leaves wow wow didn't see that coming but uh before you left uh i asked i was like so how many how many people have uh have you killed and you were like oh four some number like that like not very high i was like oh okay because and i was like you're not gonna be beating me for long and then you were like oh we'll see

about that and then you left and then the rest of my team was like i gotta fucking catch up to kyle and so like like i don't have the dream you know details of you like uh like in a straight line and so then it just became like a random series of me like finding people killing them or shooting them or something and bringing them back to my place and just leaving the body there but i wanted to catch up to you really quickly and so i just like i murdered someone just hid the body in my apartment went out murdered someone else who came brought him back in hid the body in the apartment yeah i did that like five or six people and then like i got back and i was like oh no oh no i've got like six full bodies like i i skipped all the steps i was supposed to

of like hiding it i just killed a bunch of people like i'm probably ahead of kyle though now and then you showed back up at my place and you were like what have you done i was like what and you're like i was joking and i was like oh what and then uh but dude i'm not joking there's a bunch of bodies here we gotta we gotta help hide these bodies and then you went so quickly from like to from saying you were joking to being like all right i'll help you hide the body it's just cool with it. And so the rest of it was just, that's where the dream went off the rails a little bit. I don't remember. Were they women?

Were they men? Were they white? I genuinely don't remember the specifics. I think they were all just white people. Yeah. And women, I don't remember. Probably just men, if I don't remember specifically. I don't think i could kill women

you know like if i was a serial killer like like it's funny we're talking about this because i was listening to that i have you ever heard the insane clown posse song if i was a serial killer no i haven't it's it's it's shockingly catchy like like part of the one of the lines is like, if I was a serial killer, they call me the smoker because I would smoke all my victims hair. Like that's such a bizarre thing. I'm just imagining him shaving dead people's heads and like fucking smoking hair. Like it's pretty catchy. And he's actually got a decent voice. And then the other guy starts rapping of course if i was a serial killer and no i'm not but if i was i

it's it's a good song like you know when i left you were talking about cooking and when i came back you were kind of talking about cooking just in a cannibalistic way yes yeah we're on to serial killers now and uh and how what how we would do it, I guess. Ugh. I can't give away my plans. What were you saying, Kyle, about the killer thing? I was talking about smoking people's hair. You were comparing something to that song,

and then you started singing it, and I think you got off track. I don't know. But I don't think I would want to help you to, six bodies. Like six bodies is just too many. You told me that you'd killed four people and so I had to catch up in my dream.

I had a dream where Kyle told me he was a serial killer. I was like, I'm going to get into that too. And so then I started killing people and then Kyle came back and was like, I was joking and I'm like, oh, but I killed six people. I need help getting rid of these bodies.

And then Kyle was like, okay, I'll help you get rid of the bodies. And then that's like the dream goes off into the weeds where I don't remember how we got rid of it. No, I would not eat any of them. That sounds disgusting. Why does it sound disgusting, though? Because, like, all right, so the killing part sounds terrible. That's abhorrent. But I really honestly have no issue with cannibalism.

I would totally eat some people. It's the Native American Indian philosophy, right? It's okay so long as you use the whole body. Yeah, nothing goes to waste. Nothing goes to waste. I'll make plumbing putty out of their bones. I'll make pillow stuffing from their hair. We can come up with something for everything right like make some uh because i'm not keeping like a ham hock

from somebody's ass to cook up in the stove like i'm not interested in that i would what would you want to keep oh what would you want to make after watching animals the way he uh took that thigh and uh like wrapped it in uh like like it in some sort of bacon or something. He salted it, and he wrapped it in bacon, and then he put it in that clay. Oh, yeah. He put prosciutto all over it, and then- Prosciutto, yeah. And then he baked it inside of clay to keep it succulent.

And then he's smashing it open and serving it. It looked wonderful. The heart pate didn't do much for me. I don't like pate. I don't like pate either. I don't want to eat tongues either. That doesn't sound very appetizing. But any of the muscly groups.

I don't want the organ meat. We went over this on PKN. But I like actual meat. Meats. I like slow cooker stuff. I don't know if you've ever done pulled pork in the slow cooker where you just put the pork in there and all the ingredients, and by the end of the day, it's just the whole house smells delicious. I bet if you took a child's ass, threw it in the slow cooker, and added all those ingredients, like by the end of the day, it'd be falling apart. It'd be, you know, you shred it all up, put it on a bun. I don't know, use that hot vinegar barbecue sauce. My mouth's watering thinking about eating a child's ass.

Thinking about eating a child's ass. The way you said that, oh, that's funny. You want to eat a kid's ass. You sick fuck. Kyle talks about cooking a lot on the show, right? He really likes it. And I was thinking to myself when I was downstairs, like if you gave me the option to either make a meal

or have a meal served to me, I think we all know where I'm going on that, right? But Kyle, I think, might make the meal. He might have a preference to do the cooking. Have you considered taking it anywhere? Because you actually have a passion for it, right? And you do it. I do have a preference to do the cooking. Have you considered taking it anywhere? Because you actually have a passion for it, right? And you do it. I do have a passion for it.

I've taken it somewhere. Oh. Oh, that's a lot of... No, I wouldn't do that. You don't want to wrap something so joyous in production? Maybe. I don't know. I mean, I might eventually.

Like I said, I have some plans of doing some, some vlogging stuff, uh, soon ish sometime next year. I'm going to, I'm going to do some stuff like that. So yeah, I'll probably do, I'll probably cook on stream at some point, but you know, I don't feel like my meals are, uh, you know, it's not like binging with the Babish. Uh, I'm not a, I'm not an actual cook or chef or anything. I'm just kind of – I watch a bunch of YouTube videos. I get obsessed until – I cook a steak as well as Gordon Ramsay does because I just do exactly what he does with the garlic and the – what is it? Rosemary and the butter.

Butter. And I'm basting it with butter and like continuously the whole time. And it's delicious. It's wonderful. I use fancy – I like using really nice ingredients. Dude, I've gotten into cheese lately. I bought like... What kind of cheese are you into?

Let me... I have to look because I took a picture of all the cheeses. I'll forward this on to you so you've got a picture of the cheese. Wait, didn't you text us a picture of cheese? Yeah, I sent it to you. Let me send it to Woody as well. I went to the... I watched this video that was linked on Reddit,

and it was a cheese expert, and she was blind taste testing cheap cheeses and expensive cheeses, and it got me so really interested. So, yeah, I've got this Chipotle Gouda, this Red Storm, which is a British cheese, this three pepper Colby Jack cheese.

I love, I got this, my mouth's watering, I want it so bad. It's called Wildfire Blue. It's a blue cheese that's got like spicy peppers in it. And I got some cream Havarti with cheese with jalapenos in it

and then and then I got the whole stick of this this boar's head picante like salami and I'm just sitting there with a whole box a family-sized box of crackers this and I bought us I bought a cheese knife and I'm just sitting there in bed eating, I ate so much cheese last night like a block of cheese you probably feel great right? I love, that's one of my favorite snacks

is summer sausage or some kind of sausage and then different kinds of cheese and then crackers I never get it because I have no self control with crackers and meat and cheese because it's always like, I'll just make myself a little plate. And then he'd be like, but I'll bring the entire sausage stick over and also all the crackers.

And then it just turns into like trips over there for more cheese. That plate you're looking at, that's what I took to the bedroom. Did you eat that whole plate? That's way too much cheese for one night. No, that's pounds of cheese. But I ate like I ate like a quarter of each block of cheese but i ate like i ate like a quarter of each block of cheese he ate until he couldn't what was your what was your favorite one

i think my favorite would be the havarti the havarti is very good honestly they're all like good in their own ways i like the cup several of them are spicy cheeses but the blue cheese is my favorite like i'm almost i almost ate that entire thing of blue cheese i'm not a blue cheese fan man it's so tangy and like i i you know the the mold or whatever is all throughout it it's just delicious and that particular blue cheese it has like i don't know peppers in it or something it's spicy it's called wildfire blue i love that shit it's kind of crumbly and soft it's kind of it almost spreads yeah i i ate that shit for hours last night like it was one of those... For hours?

Yeah, because I made my giant cheese plate. I carved each cheese up and ate tons of it. Then I put them all in their individual Ziploc bags, put them back in the fridge. Two hours later, I wanted more. It's like, all right, let's wheel a couple of them out at a time. I went through a lot of cheese last night. I went through three big things of crackers.

I bought so many crackers to go along with them, and I ate most of that summer sausage thing. That's what I ate yesterday was cheese. That's very calorie dense. So, yeah, you probably felt really full afterward. Yeah, yeah. I've been eating nothing but cheese and tuna salad. I mix a little bowl of tuna salad up with it too,

so I've got a little protein in there. I put relish and mayo, a little salt and pepper, and I'm dipping the crackers in that too so i've got my my sausage my like five fancy cheeses and then my bowl of tuna salad and uh and i drink like three pepsis while i eat it because it's all so spicy and it's just so salty drawing your mouth out yeah sounds my mouth's watering too yeah yeah that's what i'm doing after the show so i was i was sick earlier this week like i said so from saturday night to tuesday night i ate literally zero nothing like not for for three full days i didn't eat anything i was like the the prospect of like taking a bite of something was like just made me like oh no no like like i made me feel a little nauseous and then also just like a weird feeling of like taking a bite of something was like, just made me be like, Oh no,

no. Like, like I maybe feel a little nauseous. And then also just like a weird feeling of like, I had no, not a single pang of hunger for three days there. Like I, and then finally Tuesday night, I was like,

I have to fucking eat something. So I made a DiGiorno pizza and have like three pieces, but the best part about being sick, I got down to one 93. So, so that's good. Yeah. And until this weekend when i'm like oh i i've earned two burgers tonight there's always the rebound right i'll earn it back

but uh uh fuck what was i thinking about sick food losing weight uh digiorno pizza ah damn it no i'll it'll come back to me. It'll come back to me at some point. Or it won't. It'll be one of those for sure, though. Yeah, one of those for sure. So everything good on the home front, Woody? Yeah, yeah. There's stresses here and there.

You ever seen Throw Mama from the Train? I have. Is that a movie? Yeah, Sylvester Stallone is in it, right? Or is it Schwarzenegger? Neither. Throw Mama from the Train. It's Danny DeVito.

It's Danny DeVito. I still think I've seen it. Yeah. It's Mama. It's Danny DeVito's mother who's the obnoxious. And Billy Crystal, I believe. Yeah, it's Danny DeVito and Billy Crystal. Okay.

Yeah, I saw this. It's been a long time. I saw it in theaters. When did it come out? Oh, man. 87. I'm going to guess 87. I love that fucking movie.

That was one of those movies that I was watching as a kid. It's definitely not a kid's movie. I watched some fucked up shit as a kid. But yeah, threw Mom from the Train. That's great. Guarantee your mom is dead now. Oh, I hope so. She was abhorrent to look at.

You mean the mom from that movie yeah her name is ann ramsey she died in 1988 how do you know that shit uh because i'm on the wikipedia uh she died she only had one more year left in her well let's see she died august 11th 1988 yeah the movie came out in december Wow. Yeah, so nine months. So the movie's premise is that Danny DeVito and Billy Crystal are doing a crisscross, which if you're unfamiliar is where they each have someone they want dead, and so to avoid detection, to give themselves alibis and remove all motive and really make it so they don't get caught what they agree to kill someone for the other so like danny devito wants billy crystal to kill his

mother because she's just awful she's the worst person ever he's like you know i'll i'll have a i'll be somewhere else and you kill her and it'll all be good and and and i think he goes ahead and kills billy crystal's ex-wife and gets her out of the picture and and he's like now you got to kill my mother and billy crystal's like you meant that you i didn't actually want you to do it it was just it was just it was just talk you killed my ex-wife he's like yeah she's dead and uh but yeah check that movie out if you've never seen it before the 80s were a great time for movies 80s were a great time for movies now's a great time for movies is there do you guys like kind of agree that this is like it seems like it's kind of got to be the golden age of all media

like the better and better you get at it but then as far as like the quality of like effects and like the shit they can do now is it a golden time for you know tv and movies and such or is it a golden time for TV and movies and such? Or is it just that the TVs and movies of right now fit what we like right now? And we look back at silly kindergarten cop movies and say that sucks. I love kindergarten cop. It's great. I like kindergarten cop as well. Maybe that wasn't the best example. It's not a tool.

Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina. I have a penis girl. That would be offensive. Now you can't, I can't have that little kid in that joke. When did that come out? Kindergarten cop? That movie came out in 1991 or two. Really?

I'm betting earlier. Uh, it came out in 1990. Oh, I would have been. We were both close. Yeah. That's a great fucking movie. Kindergarten i who was oh they i can't remember who was supposed to be

cast instead of schwarzenegger it was somebody that wouldn't have worked but in any case yeah that's that's a good fucking movie i like that one that was uh that one's been done a bunch of times right it is the premise to kindergarten cop that he's like a secret tough guy i don't know cia or something and now he needs to infiltrate this place where something bad is going to happen um bodyguard is i haven't seen it in so long no he's um so he's a police officer and uh everyone they know he's a police officer or that he was but he's um he's looking for the ex-wife and son of a criminal so that so that he can get them to testify um but they're in hiding uh and uh and so he he's um he's working as a kindergartner teacher because he knows one of the kids in the class is her son

but he's trying to determine which one is her son because they got no pictures of this lady or something like that okay so yeah kind of what you're thinking but but a little twist a little different yeah that's where i've seen that particular plot like you know the whole fish out of water tough guy doing silly things didn't hawk hogan get hired as a babysitter at some point that's oh what's that one called it's wearing wearing a tutu or something? Yeah. I have to find what it is now. It's called The Hulk Sitter or something like that. It's called Mr. Nanny.

It's the one where he's all tied up in Christmas lights and he's flexing, hanging upside down. Yeah. The Hulk Sitter. See, these are not great movies. Hulk Hogan has never made a good movie uh you don't say he's never met unless you count Rocky oh he was in he was in one of the Rockies I want to say Rocky 2 Rocky probably Rocky 3 Rocky 3 yes Rocky 3 because Clubber Lang is in

the audience watching and he's oh it's bullshit and he likeber Lang is in the audience watching. And he's like, oh, it's bullshit. And he walks out. And it was. Because I like when the drunk brother-in-law comes in with a chair and hits Hogan with the fucking chair. Yeah. The Rocky movies are good, some of them. The first Rocky movie is excellent. Obviously won an Oscar.

Second one, it's going downhill. And then it just becomes fun it's like all right now uh five foot eight sylvester stallone is gonna fight fucking mr t oh you think that was unbelievable enough now he's gonna fight fucking six foot four dolph lundgren it just keeps going oh you think that was crazy enough now he's like 55 and he's gonna fight the current heavyweight champion who's 22 years old yeah in the street and kick his ass. Oh, you think that's not crazy enough? Now he's 75.

He's going to fight the current heavyweight champion who's black. And there's an alternate ending of that one where he wins. Where he wins. Yeah, yeah. I prefer the alternate. Because he hangs with the guy pretty well and of course now there's uh the creed movie where i i haven't seen the one where he fights the 70 year old he has a fighting creed oh and creed he just trains a dude yeah i thought it would have been funny in creed if like he was like let me show you how it's done, kid. He gets in there all

shaky and fights the guy. I don't know. Those movies are silly. I think they're making another one and I hope they make another Rambo. I liked the last Rambo movie. I really liked the last Rambo.

He rips that guy's throat out with his bare hand. Is that the one where he's like giving up fighting and he's like a, he runs some sort of taxi on the river but the tourists trying to save the world get themselves into trouble. Killing's as easy as breathing.

Yep. You know what, that wasn't bad. But I feel like he's too old now. He's too, at some point you have to give up the action star thing. But he's got the physique. I'll allow him to be a retired sheriff. Stallone is losing the physique. Is he?

Maybe he is. Dude, he's 71. It's just a matter of... He's got more testosterone than... Your skin doesn't have the structure. It's saggy. What does it? Gravity starts to win. I heard Dana White...

You're right about that for normal people. I heard Dana White talking about it. He's like, yeah, yeah. You should see what they're doing in Germany now. To hear him describe it is so funny because he doesn't know what he's talking about, but he knows what he's talking about. He's like, so they take these old mice, they inject them with stuff, and you know what? They look like

young mice to me. He's like, they got all these young looking rats in Germany. What does an old mouse look like? Has it got a cane and a monocle? Exactly. But they've reversed aging in certain rodents. And Dana White's very excited about it. And I'll tell you what, I know this for sure.

If that stuff does get released, Joe Rogan and Dana White are going to start reverse aging. Their hair is going to come back. And if they start doing that, hell, inject me, baby. Good for them if they can, but it's...

You know what will be wrong. If he actually does look really good at 71, that's incredibly motivating. Well, he'll be roided to the let me see oh yeah i guess they are all they're both hgh in australia once like maybe eight ten years ago does anybody think that he doesn't use steroids he definitely uses hgh because he got caught with it man he what's the difference between that and steroids human growth hormone but like is that not as effective as steroids it's a completely different thing um so uh my limited understanding of what hgh does for you and it it strengthens like your tendons

and um like some of the positive effects it strengthens your tendons and connecting tissues so that you can work out harder without getting injured. I think that's what HGH is. So oftentimes people use it in conjunction with steroids because when they're all roided up, they're doing big benching and stuff.

But if you don't use HGH along with it, then you can get hurt. Let's see, nine benefits of HGH. Skip the quiz. What website is this, just so we know? drakes.com HGHgh for sale.biz it's dr.axe.com okay dr.axe.com ax with an e axe uh robust benefits of human growth hormone uh one increased muscle strength two better fracture healing oh woody enhanced weight loss, woody. Enhanced weight loss. All woody. Four, stronger bones to prevent those future paramotor incidents.

Five, reduced cardiovascular disease. I feel like Wolverine. Go on. Six, increased fat around... Oh, that's the... That's not good. You don't want that. That's a children... Never mind. That's a children thing.

Oh, here we go. Improvement in erectile dysfunction. Wow. Decreased obesity. Better mood and cognitive function. And better sleep. And, yeah, that's it. There's only nine.

Well, that's all really good stuff. They couldn't get to 10 good things. I wish that for some reason, my mother-in-law needed like three years of HGH. It's like, yeah, you know, just give this back to the police and they'll dispose of it for you. Will do.

Mother-in-law probably. I think she probably just needs three weeks of morphine at once right now. Who knows who's watching this? That's not funny. Yeah, Kyle. I forget what I was going to say. Yeah, for people who don't know, my mom-in-law is in hospice right now, which is the term they use for kind of like gracefully guiding them towards death.

And they gave us a big white box filled with all kinds of painkillers. And the expectation is that the painkillers last longer than the patient do. And they were like telling us how to dispose of it and stuff. That's where that came from. But so yeah, yeah, we've got like, I'm going to get robbed now. What have I done? We've got loads of morphine.

Also, we're going on vacation. December 14th, we'll be out of town for two weeks. We leave the security camera on though. And there's, oh, and we keep the key outside in case we get locked out. Our dogs are with friends, yeah. We're not going anywhere. That's it. It's no big deal, though.

We hid the jewelry in the underwear drawer. Nothing bad will happen. That's one of the complications. We haven't been able to, like... Someone's been home all the time for the last year. Yeah, no vacation. It's more than no vacation. It's like having a baby at the house or something like like someone's been watching her for a year so is it too morbid to ask if there's like a disney cruise planned whenever the inevitable takes place uh no we haven't planned anything like that. That would be a little gauche, Kyle, if it was like, and now we're going to Rome.

Where's the funeral at? Disney World. It's, you know, Epcot. Well, have you seen Splash Mountain? I have a casket going down Splash Mountain. You're going to get me in trouble. I'll get in trouble. That never happens. I get the trouble.

That's how this has worked for years. Blame me, loved ones. I'm the insensitive one. It's me. Kyle and I are the bad people. Woody is a supportive, loving husband and family man who would do anything for his children and his wife he supports family provides he educates

he flies he offers more lawnmowers than you know what to do with he's a you know it's kyle and i who are the shit one and that's not that's not even tongue-in-cheek have you seen my off-roading picture it sounds like maybe you were on the subreddit yeah that was really cool uh yeah uh let me see if i'll hunt it down for people who maybe watch the show but don't go on the subreddit um yeah i i'm on facebook now and then and it's like hey here's a memory from nine years ago and i was like oh that's kind of cool let's show people i was when you're hanging out with those rednecks who didn't care didn't like me yeah yeah you see that guy in the foreground in green he always had something like insensitive to say you know and those guys your accent

when did you stop associating with these folks? Among other things. But the accent really singles you out. I don't know, 2007 or 2008, something like that. But yeah, that was my rig. I mentioned I went off-roading and how something like a Ford Raptor is not that interesting to me. A Ford Raptor, in terms of capabilities,

is a real downgrade from the way that I like to do it. Faster. That thing doesn't go that fast but it looks like the picture of is that you in there yeah okay i couldn't i couldn't tell that i'm a driver like how so are you stuck no no i make it yeah yeah it's uh it looks like it's i don't know shit about off-roading stuff but i'm like oh that looks broken like no no it's um if you were about off-roading stuff, but I'm like, oh, that looks broken. No, no. If you were an off-road guy, you would be impressed that the driver's side wheel could get so low that it's articulating and keeping all fours on the ground.

That buggy is really level while the road is clearly not. And I designed that suspension. I was very proud of it. Yeah, I got to see Woody's buggy in person one time. Oh, did you? Yeah, yeah, before you gave it away or sold it or sold or whatever i went with you we went to the place that you had it stored that it was like a boat storage place it was over on the left right i was you know we looked it over a bit i i know you did a lot of the work on it it was cool

yeah that's uh that's what i learned to weld for that thing i'm not a particularly good welder but they held i shouldn't i should give myself some credit yeah those welds are fine i'm particularly good welder, but they held. I should give myself some credit. Yeah, those welds look fine. I'm a bad welder. Never had one break. You know what? You're okay. I get it. Yeah, there's different, you know, it wasn't artistic welding. It wasn't that, like on Reddit, like they'll show pictures of welds where they're doing

this really intricate, like, you know, they're beautiful, right? You know, they chip the slag off or whatever, and it looks like a work of art or something. But like, as long as it holds, you know. It held. Yeah, yeah. off whatever and it looks like a work of art or something but like as long as it holds you know yeah yeah yeah but that was the kind of off-roading i used to like to do so good times well actually mediocre times i enjoyed off-roading but i didn't like i didn't make any company yeah yeah that's probably not the kind of crowd that a New Jerseyite... What's the term for New Jerseyans? Trash. I think it is trash. The scum of the Northeast.

Mosquito victim. It's got to be New Jerseyan. I think we dropped the new. We just say we're from Jersey, but I don't know what the term would be. Well, those New Jerseyites, those landfill livers. New Jerseyites or

New Jerseyans. Ah, both are correct. I don't like how the word new is in there either. Jerseyites. Jerseyans or Jerseyites. Yeah, they pick that accent out. If there's anything that people down here, like, immediately, like, get off you to vibe that you're an outsider, it's that. Like, if you don't sound like the people around here sound, like, one of the realtors that I've been working with is from Wisconsin. And she's got a little bit of that Wisconsin twang still in her voice.

And she's like, they call me a yankee i'm from the midwest damn it like i'm from farm country like like they don't even know they don't know where wisconsin is they think i might they call me a yankee and i'm like well you sound like a yankee you know like anything that doesn't sound twangy and like the rest of us down here do we we we notice you as an outsider and we think you're looking down on us my grandpa and their friends down on you my grandpa and their friends and all that will down there will be like uh oh all you folks up north and i'm like we live in saint louis it's like yeah it is funny Yeah, it's all by voice.

Because they sound so... My grandparents sound like they're from a thousand miles from me. Not, you know, 200. Just because of how different it is. It's always frustrated me. It's like, look, I'm not trying to look down on you. If you'd stop being so defensive and tear this wall down, we could get along. But your emotional walls are preventing anything from happening.

I'm an ice skater. Look, we both like off-ro know. I can look in your eyes and tell you ain't. I can tell your bloodline just ain't right, but your tree got a whole bunch of branches in it, boy. Straight up to the top. Yeah, one for every parent.

Probably ain't never fucked a relative nor made in the moonshine. Beat your wife. You ain't done nothing to that happy boy. Hell, how you gonna be part of this club? They got family trees. We got family corn stalks down here. Maybe a couple of sprigs off to the side.

Yeah. You probably use some kind of fancy chewing tobacco, don't you? Kayak isn't good enough for you. Levi Garrett's too coarse. Oh, look at la-di-da. Have you ever tried chewing tobacco?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's sweet. It's not good. Wait, wait, wait. What are you talking about? Are you talking about actual Redman chewing tobacco? Yes. Well, Levi Garrett is the brand I'm most familiar with because that's what my uncle chewed.

And you'd tear open the bag and smell it, and it had this very sweet smell to it. And when you put it in your mouth, there was some burn to it, but I think that's from the nicotine. It stung a little, a bit of a burn, but in a good way. And it was sickly sweet. I don't know. It had sort of a warm smell to it i've tried uh red man before that's the the same thing where it's like that pouch of chew yeah and it just tastes like grapes like grape skins or something basically it's like it's not that

terrible but i also why would you do this i'm talking about like dip like when you put it in your lower lip all right so that's different yeah thing yeah have you ever done that i've done both yeah what did you think about the dip um so i was with a bunch of guys and everybody was dipping and um and i was like yeah give me some of that and uh they liked copenhagen uh copenhagen snuff or copenhagen long cut and uh and i got a pinch of it and i put it you know under my front lip like like right there in the middle and i got pretty nauseous and uh lightheaded and i don't think i vomited but i ended up spitting it all out like after maybe 20 minutes um and the inside of my lip like if you

stick your tongue down there like like that even now is rough because i put that one dip in there when i was 14 or 15 years old that can't be true i swear to god like it wasn't like that before and right after i noticed it was like rough there and it's still a little bit rough there and and and like i've i've dipped maybe about four times in my life every single time i got lightheaded and nauseous and pale and cold sweats it's so it's such a huge amount of nicotine being like injected right into your look and your tongue is rough from it the inside i i don't buy that the tongue thing caused by it because like i have i have friends who dip all the, and there's no way the entire mouth is just rough now. It's like a cat's tongue.

Like on my tongue, like the inside of my lip. You just did it the one time. But there's no way one time would do that and leave it like that forever. I'm just telling you what I experienced. I'll feel your lip next time. All right. I'm going to give him one of those matches that strike on any surface and see if he can you ask ice he'll tell you he just he found that rough spot right away

do you used to dip kyle yeah yes i did ice you know let go of my dick we already said hi yeah uh no this is just for the memes all right get all your off your knees then yeah you've been memeing it up for like 20 minutes back there what's going on this is just for the memes. Alright, get off your knees then. You've been memeing it up for like 20 minutes back there. What's going on? Be quiet, I'm almost finished. It's all for the lols. Chiseling, this is part of his topic search thing, but

this is like the real life version of fight me at pax that what uh happened with woody is this uh liberal professor uh was like ben shapiro was gonna debate him or something like that and he's like i'm not debating ben shapiro but you know what i will do fight him in the octagon and ben shapiro's like doesn't respond because he's probably like i no no i'm not gonna fight you in the octagon but this guy like uh uh he said let me uh get his quote this fucking maniac he's somebody somebody on the new york times called shapiro a quote gladiator of the conservative movement like as always like he really tears a lot of people apart

he's good at that and uh chirino this uh big tough guy on the internet, was like, Gladiator, you should pass this around. While I won't debate this fool, why don't you set up some sort of MMA thing between me and him? And then the winner can take those 40,000 and give it to whatever charity they want. Gladiator my ass. I am completely down for this charity match. Oh, I am completely down with that. I got all day. I wouldn't enjoy ripping this fool match. Oh, I am completely down with that. I got all day. I wouldn't enjoy ripping this fool's shoulder out of his socket. Oh my god, you all don't know. You all don't know. For charity.

Is this Woody posting this? No. No, this sounds so much like Woody. That's not fair. He wanted to fight me. Get your facts right. Yeah, I was going to spin that. That's not fair. He wanted to fight me. Get your facts right. Yeah. It's true. It's

only like my It is true. No, it really is true. He used to talk shit about me all the time. And then he tweeted that he was going to kick my ass. And I said, I'm in.

That's how it actually happened. How do you think it happened? Well, that's what happened. But he didn't want to fight you. It was the equivalent of being like, I'll kick your ass. And you're like, all right, so the event will be next Thursday in Boston. I've already set up an octagon, insurance forms, and waivers. I mean, dude, I also said that I was going to rape your daughter.

You don't see me showing up with a pack of condoms or anything, though. Like, this is me trolling you right now. Like, you didn't actually want to fight. I don't know, actually. I think he thought he was going to win. He had to be educated. Cheers. I'm trolling you right now. You didn't actually want to fight. I don't know, actually. I think he thought he was going to win. He had to be educated. Chiz.

Let's see. Is Chiz online? Chiz, you sneaky fuck. He must have snuck away. Oh, well, fuck. No wonder he hasn't been giving us any helpful feedback the entire show. He's been in his car smogged down or whatever. When you get a car smogged, is that just smog tested? Yeah.

Oh, okay. I thought he was having it tuned. What kind of car did Chiz get? I don't remember exactly. It's a very nice car. Oh, is it very nice? I thought so. All right.

Because I knew it was going to be one or the other. So people know Chiz is very good at investing and working and hustling and stuff so he's doing great and it's like either he's going to get a very nice car that is the envy of most or he is going to get a complete piece of shit this is the same guy who lived in my guest house for like a year and didn't replace the light bulbs as they burnt out to save money like so by the end was it just like like two bulbs in the whole building yeah like it's not that i spied on him or anything but i would see like oh she's just sitting in the dark every night now like that has to be depressing you know have you ever seen his camera when he does the show he's just basically a like he looks like the front of the Blair Witch Project dvd case

he's sitting there just a little bit of white and then the rest of it wasn't that on you to change the light bulbs though no I wouldn't in the comment box I'd like the fans opinion let's so the situation was that Woody was staying, or excuse me, Chiz was staying in Woody's guest house for several weeks. Months. It was like almost a year. Okay. For quite a while.

And the light bulbs have gone out. Whose responsibility is it to change those light bulbs? Is it Woody's as the homeowner, or is it Chiz's as the guest? But he was living there at the time, to be fair. That's more than a guest.

Yeah, I feel like the poll is biased in this. He was staying rent free and we were supposed to do things like build the stable together and stuff like that. Although that was just his kryptonite. He really didn't enjoy that task.

Towards the end, he mostly just stayed there for free. I wonder if you asked, what was Chiz's favorite physical activity? He liked riding in the golf cart with me. No, that's not a physical activity. That was by far his favorite. We used to go on golf that's not a physical there was by far his favorite

we used to go on golf cart rides and have talks and stuff like that um that was cool we both love the golf cart i didn't make wings changing light bulbs that's all i'm saying i don't know like taylor if your light bulb goes out in that apartment, whose responsibility is it to replace it? I can't reach him, and so I'll play that one by ear. I'll just call them and make them do it. That's not a fair

comparison either, though, because Taylor has a contractual rental agreement, whereas Chiz was sort of like a guest. See, I really thought of him as a tenant that didn't pay. a tenant that didn't pay. A tenant that didn't pay. Yeah, yeah.

A really shit tenant then. Oh, this is my tenant. You know, he doesn't pay, but he's really handy with a hacksaw and a hammer. And he helps out with my... Did you make him pay utilities? I think I did, actually. I think he paid for his own utilities. How much are utilities?

In that house? They can't be very much. I think 110 if someone's living there and like 30 if no one is. That's why he didn't turn the lights back on. He was really trying to save money. Yeah. I didn't make Wings pay for his hot water either. He wasn't like a guest like Wings was.

And yeah, he was like a tenant that paid with stable help. I wonder what he thinks of this. Yeah, like we've never had guests in the main house like replacing their own light bulbs and stuff. I didn't even know the bulbs were out. It wasn't until he moved out.

It was like, damn, none of these lights work. I mostly just lived out there in that shed. Biscuits and mustard two or three times a week. Biscuits and mustard? That's disgusting. Two or three times a week. I had me a dugout spot and a blanket thrown down in it. She just went for a walk to go get a snack or something at the local, like, Quickie Mart.

We do not live in a walking area. I mean, I really like where I am. And you can walk, like, for exercise in the neighborhood and stuff. But, like, Kyle, you might be in a similar position. I don't know. You can't walk to a convenience store. You can hardly take a golf cart to it. Like, it's a car area.

And I think he agrees now after kitty does this passive aggressive thing where like she'll walk to the fucking store and she'll be oh no big deal i'll just walk and it's like first of all kitty only poor people walk in the united states this isn't england that's the island you're from only the destitute walk places for actual transportation like it's especially like in the country. Like, it's a pathetic thing. If you're not living in an urban area, you don't walk. There's no sidewalk.

There's just grass. Yeah, there's no sidewalk here either. Like, knee-high grass and cars whizzing by at 60 miles per hour. Like, you don't walk places. And so, like, especially in our last house, there was a BP gas station about a mile and and a half two miles away with hills yeah she walks to the fucking gas station i'm like this is this is like this is like an insult to me she's gonna have to cross a bridge and i'm pretty sure you gotta walk sideways like there's no room for pedestrians on this bridge it's a car are you trying to shame me

by walking are you hoping somebody sees you walking to the bp station and you'll be oh yeah i'll work for fps russia got a walk places though because he he won't take me anywhere and i have no other way of going why don't you uber for me there's no uber here are you fucking kidding me you can't even get dominoes delivered there's no uber here are you fucking kidding me you can't even get dominoes delivered are you fucking kidding me absolutely not are you sure there's no uber i'm a thousand percent sure yeah nothing like we got stuck in bad weather and landed in a soybean field and got picked up by uber i i can open my uber and you know like i can see all the cars around me just circling like a flock like i can i can have that's the best i can have an uber at my place in 40 seconds like it it takes no time which is nice but i wonder about that i didn't know you could do that here

yeah but i'm just from now on i'm just using my good buddy D.K. Or Rufus. Rufus, whatever his name was. Rufus. When you say it, you got a roof. You got like a dog thing into it. It's not just Rufus. It's Rufus. Rufus. Let me see.

I would get that. Man, that's so much. You get so much ass utilizing rufus to terrorize women i'm gonna not do that though ah pussy this guy uh got busted for fucking his his then dead uh uh girlfriend because they were on drugs and she had overdosed and uh he said that the reason he started fucking her when she was unresponsive is because, like, quote, she always hate her... Fuck, let me find it.

Oh, yeah, Aaron stated that he listened to see if the victim was breathing and he heard gurgling. Aaron stated that he knew the victim hated having sex with him, so he figured that the victim might wake up if he had sex with her and so he just started fucking a dead body and his rationale being if she'll wake up she hates this yeah i mean i i like his i like his plan i mean this goes back to our you know if i'm dead fuck me you know do whatever you want to me you know i i i'm not sure this should be against the law should where do you stand on this way should you be able to fuck a dead body should necrophilia really be against the law i feel like the same rule should apply when the person was alive right like if it's

someone if like if you've had sex before and you you likely would have said yes to this person yeah then that yes continues in perpetuity until your body rots and can't be fucked i agree i i mean you'd be surprised how far gone a body gets before you especially if it's a female then that yes continues in perpetuity until your body rots and can't be fucked. I agree. I mean, you'd be surprised how far gone a body gets before you can, especially if it's a female, right? Like all that really happens is new possibilities open up as she decays. Yeah.

Yeah. You've never fucked a shoulder before. Well, there's a hole there now. Deep belly button. Well, get it while it's hot. Cause it won't be there for long.

Jesus. Get it. deep belly button well get it while it's hot because it won't be there for long get it you might be able to actually buy it on the mexican black market pretty soon as a as some sort of a flesh light oh like oh my god i i want to get in touch with that clinic and be and you know pose as some sort of an american medical clinic and be like do you have any why would i use a british accent we're an american medical clinic extra belly buttons yes this is nigel farthington from the atlanta institute of belly buttons from the bbi the british belly button institute we studied them and we're looking for the deepest in the world we just just finished mapping the Mariana Trench and I've moved on to something more exciting. Do you have any large American belly buttons?

Lionel, you would not believe the belly button I have here for you. Where can you ship it to me? In a container! My goodness! Pack it with dry ice and send it post-haste! We waited eagerly! Of course we're a real thing, the British bellybutton! You think we're just pitiful bellybuttons across the world because we're a real thing, the British belly button. You think we're just beautiful belly buttons across the world because we're covered? Of course I don't have a secretary. It's not a large institute.

I started it, if you must know. Yes. I think it's a good idea to get the Mexican gastric bypass surgery. I like the idea i'm i'm with wings's mom oh so i don't know i'm still split on this seems like a really dangerous surgery so he's not doing a surgery but But not in the immediate like that. Like that's all that I mean is that like that surgery could immediately

cause something horrible. Whereas like he still has another shot to just do this the healthy way. Can I add him to my celebrity death poll? Get, uh, like you can have Betty White and Ian McKellen We can make trades like fantasy football. Yeah, yeah.

Betty White and Ian McKellen, I'll trade those for Wings of Redemption in a heartbeat because if he goes on that Mexican fucking operating table, please. I would trade anybody for Betty White, so I'll take Betty White. Really?

Oh yeah, she's not going to be around for much longer it's just math she looks good though what like the memes are rejuvenating her she's only got her days are numbered yeah i bet she's dead next year ian mckellen is the one that i've got my money on like that guy is looking frail i watched apt pupil the other day where he's like a Nazi guard from one of the concentration camps. It's a Stephen King novel made into a movie and the boy discovers that he had this Nazi history and he's hiding it and he makes him tell him

the stories and stuff like that. And even in that movie, he looked frail and old and that shit was made in like 1990 or something. that guy's oh that's jesus christ woody winter chicken dinner what are you talking about nothing nothing i'm not talking about anything all right if you were allowed to wish for one thing and you must be able to completely insert it into your butt to receive it, what would you wish for?

Ah, man. So nobody can say one of those digital wallets with Bitcoin on it. That was my first guess. Yeah, that's cheating. You can't do that. How much money can I fit in my ass? Not enough to be worth it.

I could put so many doubloons up there like coins you're gonna go with coins coins yeah coins and you're gonna have to like promise all those coins to whatever doctor how much is a chapstick of gold worth i don't know i wish i had coins you take a condom you take a condom yeah yeah yeah you fill it up with coins, and it becomes like a cylinder, right? Yeah. You just keep dropping those coins in there, and you get enough doubloons in there, and then you've got sort of a phallic-shaped object. And you can just – you can fit a lot of those up there. Those gold doubloons.

You're saying doubloons, like that's something where you can go to bank of america and they'll be like oh oh you mean the current doubloon ratio yeah let me check that for you that's uh well there's spanish gold coins from the from like the 17th century the way i understand it and they're worth more than their uh you know their weight in gold okay well let me see how much is a doubloon worth google thank you thank you much is a doubloon worth, Google? Thank you. Thank you. How much is a doubloon? The punch. Google is amazing. Huh.

With definitely money, huh? Because I can't think of something I want more than money. Gold doubloons are widely popular because of their gold content history. The first gold doubloon in the United States struck more than 225 years ago is expected to fetch at least $5 million at auction. In reality, the coin known as the Brashear doubloon went from nearly 7. Okay, well these are special doubloons. These aren't regular doubloons. I want special

doubloons if I'm putting them up my ass! They'll be special once they're up your ass, right? These doubloons have a history. They once went up a fake Russian's ass. Can you imagine when I'm shitting them out? I like it better if when you pay, you have to poop them out. I like it better if when you pay,

you have to poop them out one at a... One more. Sir, the Ferrari 430A is 14 million. I'll need at least eight more of those doubloons. Just one more time. They're chinging out, chinging, and he's

just waiting there with a white glove catching them. We do expect tips, sir. Seems like three doubloons would tip him a million. That's far too much cheese. But those are made up. We're not going with Kyle's, you know, this one $5 million doubloon. How big are those packaging eggs? Hold on.

The gold in a doubloon is worth $400 today. Wow, that's not enough. One doubloon. So we've got to think of something better than money to put in our assholes, gentlemen. How big are those Fabergé eggs? How big is your asshole? Well, look, if I

get the exact size of a Fabergé egg, it's the exact size of a Fabergé egg, it turns out. Yes, it's like how big is a bucket when it holds water? Just enough. Become a water, my friend.

Yeah, I... Maybe a Fabergé egg. Something priceless, right? Oh, no, dude, this is gonna destroy your asshole. This is not a smooth egg. This is like, there's like little stands on it. And there's like a bunch of little nubs. There are dozens of different ones. It's ribbed for your pleasure

I could take it it does seem like the doubloons must not be dense or be pure gold or something because I really think like a pure gold dildo would weigh pounds be worth millions yeah and if

trying to google small things that are worth a lot of money and the google suggestion was like uh just the dumb small things worth lot money you'd be able to steal small things you can make has wings been using your computer I always have to go back there. Small walk us back. Let's see. Small things make a lot of money. Happy Meal toys, vintage quills. Oh, this is a shitty list. I've got an idea. You could take it.

You could fold it up and like the deed do a property. Right? It would probably be ruined. You don't have to laminate it. The sharp corners. Can we laminate it I don't know we gotta work it out Roll it up like a scroll and put it in one of those cigar holders

You seen those the hard Cigar holders Roll it up like that You only need like one There's billion dollar buildings Diamonds are so little But they're very sharp You stick them in one at a time And you'll be more expensive than diamonds billion dollar buildings. Diamonds are so little, but they're very sharp.

You stick them in one at a time. Emeralds are more expensive than diamonds and they actually have more value. Is that true? Yeah, emeralds are more expensive than diamonds. And diamonds, yes. And diamonds' value is inflated anyway by the whole De Beers cartel thing. Most valuable stones.

My wife always likes sapphires the most. And it turns out that in recent years, some celebrity made sapphires like the preferred rock. Their prices have skyrocketed. Yeah, the emerald is my birthstone. Your birthstone?

Yes. Oh, I think the diamond is my birthstone. I don't even know mine. I think January is the pearl. May is the emerald. I want to say July is maybe the ruby. I think April is the diamond. Amethyst would be me. amethyst

oh you collect those in Skyrim for potions so there you go yeah I don't know I really think that Woody's idea of the deed in the cigar thing that might be the smartest thing yeah if you can't do the USB key with the bitcoin

which is so cheaty yeah we're not doing that i wonder how much cash how much you know i do you think you could fit what about bearer bonds i could get a lot of car keys up there dude you're you're gonna put you have to get this stuff back out dude you know modern cars are all key fobs yeah it's a little bigger like my command the only problem is you know my camaro's key is like and a lot of key chains are now you push the button and it's like a switch plate it flicks out what flicks out in there and like sideways or something he's like ah that'd be a difficult birth then you got to get somebody to work it loose i know a girl

i do too let me uh Let me do a couple more ads and get those out of the way because MeUndies want to let you guys know that every year millions of people receive the least liked gift of all time. Underwear. But we still give it to our family and our loved ones who just don't want it. But maybe, just

maybe, it's not that the underwear is the problem. It's the kind of underwear that you've been gifting. Let me tell you about MeUndies, the only underwear that makes for an amazing gift. Soft, flexible waistband, three times softer than cotton and made from naturally sustainably sourced

fiber, known as Modal. MeUndies made underwear the perfect gift that everyone is going to love for you. It's a goddamn holiday miracle. This year, don't give underwear. Give me undies. This holiday season, to get your exclusive 20% off the softest pair of underwear and socks

that you will ever wear, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee, just go to meundies.com slash pka. Links below. That's meundies.com slash pka. Links below. That's MeUndies.com slash PKA. I'm wearing my pink boxers right now. I usually wear the boxer briefs, but I think... Let's see. Wait a minute. Am I?

No. I switched to gray at the last minute. I had the pink ones on earlier, but I switched it up because I had to... Yeah. I switched to the gray. Big fan of the MeUndies they legitimately are better if you try them you'll be like yes now I'm spoiled for life I want these instead yeah you're not you're not risking too much especially with our generous offer code

so try a pair you'll uh you'll like them and get your girlfriend some, too. They're fun to fondle. I want Taylor for my next topic here, too. Well, in the meantime, I can certainly tell everyone a little bit about Whistle.com. Okay. You ever lose your pet? Sure you have. You're a busy guy. You can't keep your eye on Fido 24-7. Sometimes things just happen, and no one's to blame.

No one. Well, Whistle is here to bail you out of those terrible, embarrassing situations. Whistle is a device that attaches to your pet's collar and allows you to track its location and activity, you know, if it's out playing games or hanging out with a rough crowd, from an app on your phone. You can set activity goals based on your pet's age, breed, and weight to help you monitor their daily activity and rest. Whistle is super lightweight, less than an ounce. It's waterproof and it has a rechargeable battery that lasts up to 10 days. Whistle uses GPS and AT&T's cellular network to monitor your pet 24-7 anywhere in the United

States. Using Wi-Fi, set up places where your pet spends most of their time and you'll get notified if they leave that area and when and if they return to their safe space. When your pet is beyond Wi-Fi range, the device uses that cellular and GPS technology to enable tracking, as I said, anywhere in the United States using AT&T.

Whistle brings peace of mind to pet owners across the nation. For a limited time, all of our listeners here can get $25 off a Whistle device when they use our code PAINKILLER. So just go to Whistle.com right now. Use offer code PAINKILLER at checkout. Visit Whistle.com today. Whistle, the smarter way to care for your best friend. Whistle's cool. This is some of the swag that we did get. And we put it on our dogs and it tracks where they are and it does what it says it does.

So if you love your dog stick it on there yeah i also got a whistle oh yeah which dog got it did you get one or like well i i want i want to lose my dog so i didn't put whistle on him well you have three dogs that's i'm very confused did you did you drop some dogs recently? Kitty has a little dog and then there's Dak. Oh, didn't she used to have two

small dogs? Nope. She never had two small dogs. Nope. My mistake then. Oops. So I'm trying to... Oh, Taylor's back. Taylor, I have a topic. He doesn't know that.

Yes. Yes, I do. You have a topic. How did you know that? You weren't wearing... Did you hear it coming out of your headphones? I heard it coming out of the headphones. Wow.

You know, my eyes are so bad that I've... You know, my ears are even better. So did you develop that other sense. So, the question is, is this guy, oh, I'm sorry, for people watching the show or just listening to the show, there's a good guy, Greg, sees a picture on Facebook of a married guy he knows with his secret mistress, tags him, right? Is he good guy Greg or scumbag Steveve scumbag steve he's scumbag steve

that is something that you do well no it doesn't come down to pros before i was it comes down to something that you do privately not uh make a show of it for other people so you would just message someone privately and say hey i saw this picture on facebook and i don't know what's up with you guys you know if you wanted to sue if you wanted to do that no You blackmail um what's wrong with you? Oh, you know what you're right. I haven't you're a boy bigger piece of shit than me I need to take Early to step up what a piece of crap I am He would never about that homeless person to sandwich he would have bought I say sandwich for himself when he wasn't hungry and eating it in front of him.

Oh, mayonnaise! Mayonnaise! But yeah, I would not tag someone on Facebook for that. Definitely not. That's scummy. And you're right. It's the public thing. It's sort of a public shaming thing. You could mess that guy's job up.

You could mess up, embarrass his family, his children. When stuff's on Facebook, everybody's involved. Maybe this guy's kids are humiliated. Maybe you don't know who that mistress is. Maybe that's his kid's teacher and she gets fired or something crazy like that. You can fuck some shit up. And the mistress doesn't deserve to be outed in that public kind of way so yes come back steve she might what were you thinking uh i was kind of torn i one i don't think the mistress is if she is completely

innocent than she is but i suspect she knows and she's sleeping with a married man what makes you suspect this i think that because all we have to go on is this me in my head oh you know what okay first of all i'm realizing that people just have fuck sessions now and don't know each other right if you rewind this back to like when i was dating back in the stone ages then then, you know, it took a little while to get laid. You had to pay a dowry, a goat in my day. And you don't date someone for like nine weeks during the courting process and not get an inkling that maybe he's married, you know, like some sort of clue that this is who he

really is. But nowadays you just say, hey, I'm only here for one night on tinder and uh so that you could you could more appropriately you're more effectively high that you're married so i no longer know like i thought i did um but if she's dating a guy that she knows that she's is married i think she's doing a bad thing and well she's definitely doing a bad thing but like it kyle's right about the whole the kids everything else is involved there like it's not just that guy that you're fucking over it's like you can you're humiliating a whole family you don't know what that lady's situation is like just handle it privately slide into the

dms and tell them there or maybe you find out that they have like a whole like open marriage thing and you get like humiliated like maybe the wife is like uh yeah that's denise i fuck her too why don't you mind your own nosy business i'm not a facebook expert but i don't think you can tell i tagged you can you i have no i don't even use face yeah yeah yeah i think so i i haven't used it in a while but i want to say that i've seen it say like you know jim tagged kyle and blah blah like i think you can i i'm out of my depth here but but if you can you know that i don't like that i i don't like people in other people's business, especially if you're not some sort of public figure. It's one thing if you have fans or whatever, and they have

some interest in you or whatever, but to be just fucking with some other civilian, I guess I'll refer to them as, a regular person out on Facebook, it's like, don't you have anything better to fucking do? First of all, you're on Facebook. Go get a fuck. I hate Facebook. I hate it. I hate social

media and the people like on there. Like it's, it's like a high school reunion that never ends. People judging and figuring out what, Oh, Susie married Mark. Remember? Who fucking cares that you're at the beach with Susie and Mark and the kids are there and they're showing off their kids like their little items.

Like nobody wants to see those pictures of your fucking kids. You think anyone cares about your fucking kids? Congratulations, you were able to propagate. It's what you're born to do, you dummy. If your Facebook is filled with children pictures, what you're telling me is you got fat. I, hmm. Oh, if there's no picture of you.

Are you talking about women and men or women? I've had women message me, and their profile picture is no picture of you. Are you talking about women and men or women? I've had women message me and their profile picture is a picture of their kid. Not even them with their kid, just their kid. This is worse than when you hear there's a meme about a dude hitting on a girl

and his picture is his car. She's like, either you're a Decepticon or a douchebag. Be the one getting in these panties yeah exactly like if i see a woman and she's like hitting on me and like her kid is like i don't mind so much as you got a kid but like i don't want to like see your little three year old blonde daughter's face every time you're like typing some dirty shit to me that's a real turn off, right? Yeah.

Yeah, I'm going to, at first I thought I was leading towards goodbye, Greg, but after hearing Taylor's argument of being like, hey, if you want to do it, do it privately. Scumbag Steve. Yeah, the only reason to do it publicly is to make like a look at how good

of a guy I am. Now, we're not sure about that, though. Or to stir shit though. Or to stir shit up. Like, to try and exacerbate a potential situation. Yeah. Right. I feel like the mistress should... Not mistress.

The wife should know in this situation, though. She should. Yeah, I would just send it privately. Just to be like, hey, you know, your husband is with this woman and she's way like not. I don't want to stress this too much, but I have to way better looking than you. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's such an upgrade. I think you're fucked. When I found your account at first, I kept searching because I thought you must be like his mom or something like that. No, it turns out you really you really got a good guy. You know what? Maybe just let him do this. Let him do this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe he'll tire of her. Maybe, yeah. We're trying to salvage this way because you're really ugly. Maybe he'll tire of her. And your Facebook, I noticed, was just pictures of your kids.

So you're fucking fat. Like, all of my friends who never had kids, obviously, because we grew up together. And now we're, like, at the age where some of my friends are having kids. Not many, but, like, a couple of them have paired off, got married, and started having kids. And, like, they're all exactly the same as the people you make fun of. You know, like, I think it's just, like, a new parent thing in this day and age with social media of, like, you just are so obsessed with, like, I get it.

Like, I don't get it because I don't have a kid but i can imagine that like when you see your kid be born you're like holy fuck like this is half me like everybody's got to know like this is awesome like oh he just shit his pants and made a funny noise that's so that's the funniest thing i've ever heard everybody's got to know about that like so it's weird it's more endearing now than it was annoying before because now i'm like oh like, like, yeah, that's a friend of mine. I've known him and her for years, and they're just so in love with their new kid. It's kind of sweet. It's almost chemical or something.

I remember the first time I heard my kid, like, sing the alphabet, and it was like, oh, my God. My kid could not be more. Get this, Taylor. She sings the alphabet. Sings the alphabet. Knows all the letters. Knows the tune, the beat. She is singing the alphabet.

And it's like, yeah, I know, Woody. Every fucking kid sings the alphabet. Almost every kid. But somehow, you know, your kid's first steps. As they break these landmarks, this like monumental thing the proof of their greatness and uh you're way more proud of it than you deserve to be because these are things that everyone can do when uh when hope was born was it like an immediate thing for you where you're like oh this is my daughter this is my you know or was it more like a day later you're like i don't

feel like whatever hammer was supposed to drop of fatherhood has hit me yet. Yeah, I've talked about this before. Yeah, I didn't remember your answer. I didn't even like her that much, really. One, she was not a boy, so she screwed that up. That bitch. And two, I think Jackie was immediately in immediately in love for me that didn't hit until later you know once she could start to do things maybe a year two years in uh is she became

a person right when she was just luggage that leaked that we like a constant responsibility i wasn't like oh my god this is so great you're talking about your daughter i you said luggage that leaked i thought you meant your wife and I was like oh my god she's leak free really she's leak free I thought it was some sort of really sexist comment about periods nope it was not no no no I was talking about my infant baby

and uh yeah yeah but it took a little while for me to build a fondness and then by the time Colin was born I was worried that I couldn't like the next one as much. I was really fond. You would have picked a favorite. More along the lines

of like, this one is so perfect, so amazing. She's so fantastic. How can this other one be okay? So that was my mindset going on. So I went from full this kid doesn't even do anything to uh this kid is the most amazing one ever it's cool it makes sense that the women's would be immediate like

because they carry the fucking thing like sometimes sometimes they get like a postpartum and and just like don't sync with motherhood and have put cigarettes out on them. Hopefully not that. I mean, you know, sometimes. Flashbacks? Do you guys have any kids in your grade who were abused? Anything like that?

Where kids would come to school and clearly like, okay, well here's a good answer. If you didn't, you were the one. No, all my other kids were really nice. All my peers' moms. He didn't hit anyone with high-heeled shoes. Nobody had stiletto marks. Did you get attacked by a swarm of bees?

No, my mom's just quick with the fucking stilettos. Just, whop, whop, whop. One-handed, did your mom so cool did your did your uh did your mom ever uh hit you when you had company over like uh like a friend over or was that just when people were gone no i don't think she did because and i remember sometimes it was like a shield like like like i don't know you knock over a plant that's like in a pot or something so it like spills a little bit and uh it's like oh my god thank god jason's here like maybe she

won't still be mad by the time he goes you were you were that's so scary child have you ever spoken to a to a therapist you were you were abused like literally like it's a it's the whole spilled milk thing is like a you know like a like a meme right but you're like oh no i spilt milk and i got it yeah literally yeah i your your parents would have killed me i i tied up my younger brother in a wagon and pushed him down a hill, and he ran into a tree and cut his head, and all I got was a pretty bad spanking with a switch. Oh, yeah. Eye for an eye.

Taylor looked like Harry Potter if he had my parents. Within five minutes afterward, the pain was gone, but I'll always have the memory of my younger brother going, Ah! As he went down the hill, and I pushed him down. Oh, man. See? have the memory of my younger brother going oh man see so it was a like your mom would have beaten the shit out of me oh yes yeah that's that's if you

accidentally knock a plant over and a little bit of miracle grow water splashes under the carpet not water just the dirt just the dirt just the dirt not even not even gonna stain with mud the dirt just the dirt not even not even gonna stain with mud or anything just a little dirt these people not who not prepare for children like it's just like like i was running around at five like like at the christmas tree like smashing the ornament off for on purpose or like raking all the magazines off a coffee table like actually getting up to rambunctious shit being willfully destructive. You're talking about a childhood accident. It's like when the dog pees on the carpet.

You don't beat it mercilessly. It just didn't know any better. Your parents really took spare the rod, spoil the child to heart. And they weren't even religious then. He won't even eat little spoiled. Imagine if they were religious back then.

They'd have gone Old Testament on my ass. They'd have gone Old Testament on you. You'd be missing an eye, two or three fingers. When did they become religious? About ten years ago. Okay. That does make sense that they're so, so religious now, because it seems like

when people jump into it late in life, they go whole hog. Because it's like, I can't afford to fiddle fucking around with this stuff in the liberal part. I've got to be all hardcore. They believe that very few people are going to be saved. Some Christians feel like anyone who accepts christ as their savior gets in right and if you don't you know what have you been good like there's some there's some make there's some uh extra credit we can do here like you might just serve some time in purgatory i don't i'm talking my ass but you know catholics but it seems like you know there's there's lots of ways to get in

amongst some christians my parents are like, I know I'm getting in, but maybe like 2% of the population is going to make it. It's a very selective thing. How do they know they're going to make it? I don't know. They've just completely been saved, right? They've been saved at a level that no one on this show could make it. I promise you.

We're not making it. I know the tricks. Yeah. I wish I had words to describe this. They buy stuff wholeheartedly, right? Like the Apple Watch, Mark of the Beast type stuff. They see signs. stuff the um you know they they see signs that they my father said that um revelations that's the one with all the forecasting right yep way more accurate than any newspaper right that's a

quote that's a stanley quote and next time you're with him kind of nonchalantly like like like you're actually concerned be like you know kyle told me he what he'd never been baptized have you never been baptized no no but like kyle told me he yeah he wasn't baptized what what do you think's gonna become of him just i want to know i want to know i assume we'll be burning in hell together i'm i i don't know i they haven't really laid it out for me but they just made it really clear that i need to get saved that i haven't been given the gift of faith. No baptism for me, baby. You haven't been given the gift of faith.

Yes, I have been given the gift of faith. So it's not a fair contest, then. Right? I'm trying to process that. If you haven't been given faith, then it's not... It's like it's not my fault, right? If I give Kyle a ton of faith, and I give you no faith, then it's not... If I give... It's like it's not my fault, right? If I give Kyle a ton of faith and I give you no faith,

then how can I hold you accountable? Also, another weird tautology with all the religious stuff is being... I don't know if I've talked about this on here, but being given free will. You can't be given free will. You didn't have the option to say no because you didn't have free will. So you had to accept, which means you didn't have a choice in accepting

free will. And so that entire thing is wouldn't it be that you didn't have free will until he gave it to you like couldn't you reconcile that way no not really because you didn't have a choice to accept it because the only thing that makes it so that you're uh able to go to heaven or hell is that free will of choosing good or evil god introduced to that to adam and eve you know he gave them the choice of good and evil he could have never introduced that and just allowed everything to be good but he allowed the introduction of evil and so if they understood the ramifications of choosing free will which they're not able to choose anyway because you

can't choose if you don't have it they would have probably said no because they said no i'm going to stay in the perfect paradise forever thank you very much but of course they don't have that you know foresight because he's created them without it and then imposed them on them this free will i see so he gave them free will almost as a punishment for their bad behavior yes it's a way like uh not as a punishment but it's like without free will they would have lived a perfect life in eden forever you know because they wouldn't have been able to sin and it would have been exactly what God wanted anyway, a bunch of little robots doing what he wanted. Which, you know, he says, no, the reason God gave us free will is because he didn't want a bunch of

little robots running around, which is why at the end of all time, he only chooses the ones who are little robots running around for him to hang out with. And it's like, I don't know, it's just, it makes so little sense on so many levels. The free will one still works for me, though, right? Like, he gave you free will, and at that point, the free will was given to you, and prior to that, you didn't have it, and then afterwards, you did.

Now, if you chose free will, well, that's a little wacky, because how did you choose without it, you know? If he is real, I don't like him very much. He's such an angry, jealous guy, right? Yes. He's a little pissy why are there babies with cancer you know like yeah there's a million of those well that's why there's too many i mean honestly the big thing like honestly the more religious someone is it

seems to almost be contingent to the severity with which their particular brand of christianity or whatever takes hell the more serious you take hell the more serious they seem to be religiously and yet there are the orthodox jews who don't believe there is a hell yeah but uh they're you know not screaming about fire and brimstone and like no true. They're very, very into it. Hasidic is what you're thinking of, right? Like the super... Orthodox Jews. No Jews believe in hell. I know, but they... You know.

Yeah, Ben Shapiro's an Orthodox Jew. The super hardcore ones that are running around Israel shame-beating people and stuff like that. Or like in New York, just ruining streets or whatever what he was talking about. Ben Shapiro's an anti-Semite.

Yeah, he's a... That article I was talking about, that guy that wanted to fight him at PAX, he did point out astutely that Ben Shapiro's a white supremacist. Isn't he married to a black woman? He's married to a Moroccan

Jew and he himself is Jewish. Which just means that he's deep undercover. He's got a swastika tattoo, you know, on his right chest like fucking Ed Norton. My only one that thought that looked really cool, like I know it's just completely inappropriate, it's a symbol for for hate and ignorance and evil but it looked cool right dude the nazis had aesthetics down it is a damn shame that they didn't have some like goofy like twirly whirly like emblem and so like now like when they just like played like flutes and shit as they went into battle because like if you look at watch like old World War II clips, and you see the American soldiers,

it's like, yeah, that's pretty cool. I guess those are pretty standard army men uniforms. And then you see the Nazis, and you're like, God, they look, they didn't even have to change after they finished battling. They were flying, ready to go out on the town. They got their, yeah, we have our Hugo Boss, yeah. Oh, there'll still be a brand long after they're gone. People will forgive them.

They're very stylish. You know who does it wrong? North Korea. Have you seen the North Korean outfits? I mean, they just like basically steal clothes from cabbage patch kids. They're so little. Here's my argument against the North. Their top guys have so many medals.

So many medals. They are just decorated. It must be heavy. Sometimes. So they fill up both sides of the chest, and then some of the guys have it on their pants leg, too. They ran out of space in the chest, so they have medals on their pants leg. All right, all right, all right.

So both chests completely covered with metal down into their pants. What wars has North Korea fought? What wars have these people battled? How did they earn these medals, right? Zero. Like successfully righted overturned latrine. what wars have these people bad how did they earn these medals right like zero successfully righted overturned latrine you know take a medal they must give another day on no food right yeah yeah caught a rabbit i i they're loaded up with medals and they've never achieved a fucking thing so that's why they're overdoing it that's that's my issue i mean i get

it like if i were the king of uh taylortopia or whatever the fuck and i was like all right guys we're there's not a lot of us in this country we gotta have a military though and we're not in any position to start a war so we're gonna have some really easy entry-level kind of boy scout badge style shit all right first everybody try and start a fire. Alright, everybody now gets the, you attempted to start a fire badge. Now we'll see who powers through to the full thing.

That's what I would do. Just ridiculous ridiculous shit like that to help. And then over time, you slow, wow, this is a hilarious picture. These guys have so many medals on them. They're on his pants! They're on his pants!

They're on his sleeve! They're on his wrist! Imagine the inferiority complex you have to have to be like put all your generals and make them look like Christmas ornaments. With this amount of medals and emblems and oak leaves and

outrageous never fought a war these people have never seen combat Korean the Korean War like some of those guys 50s I'm just saying deep like those generals are old I don't know how old they'd have to know how old. They'd have to be pretty old. Yeah, they'd have to be like 75. Yeah, I guess. My father-in-law fought in the Korean War. How old is he? He lived to 75.

He'd have to be like 90 or something. I'm pretty sure the Korean War was in the 50s. You'd have to be 18 or 20 to do some battle. Then you'd have to fight 18 or 20 to do some battle. Then you'd have to fight for a long time to win all those goddamn medals. I'm trying to...

You'd have to do some amazing stuff to get that many medals. What was the last... We are still fighting. Technically, it is just an armistice. It's just a ceasefire. Maybe they've been earning those since the 50s, like guarding the border, you know? Maybe each of those medals

is for shooting a deserter, or a defector, they call them, right? Yeah. I'm trying to find verses from Revelation to look at, because your parents said it's even better than the news, is it?

And behold, a white horse. His name that sat upon him was dead. If you find one, I just know my father could go toe-to-toe with you on this. One, this is a topic in which he would be very condescending. I'm not used to talking to people this stupid, but I'll do my best. Well, I mean, like, doesn't he know he's supposed to turn the other cheek? You know, I would have a ton of fun talking to him about it because I guarantee just like quick-witted polls from the Bible. I know more than him because, frankly, sir, I've been, I was a Christian before you ever picked a Bible up. No, he went to Catholic school and stuff.

He wasn't one until 10 years ago, right? Oh, Catholic school? Catholics know less about the Bible than fucking Muslims. Catholics know no shit. It's like a thing. I have Catholic friends, and the joke is like, oh, I'm Catholic. I don't read the Bible. Some guy does

that in Latin for me and then tells me what's up. My dad's side of the family the italian side of course they're they're uh catholic and it's like like none of them give a fuck you know it's just like all right now let's get wine drunk and eat a bunch of cannelloni or whatever but uh yeah that'd be interesting to talk to your dad about it uh i wouldn't actually want to if he's condescending yeah because i wouldn't want to be rude to your dad seriously yeah yeah i don't see how it could go well. No, no.

There would be no reason to upset him or to make a mockery of it to his face. Oh, okay. Here's a verse from Revelation chapter 13. And I stood up upon the sand of the sea and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads ten crowns, and upon his heads the names of blasphemy. And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard,

and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion. And the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority. That is representative of Obama and his cabinet. That's beautiful literature, though. It's certainly not meant to be taken literally unless you're Woody's dad. I guess he imagines a literal

beast rising from the ocean with leopard's legs and a seven-headed hydra with ten horns and ten crowns upon each horn and literally written upon him is the word blasphemy and Satan has given him his seat maybe he thinks that but but if you think of that non-literally it's really beautiful literature

if it's supposed to be uh representative of something in the real world like like i i like that stuff it's the revelations in particular as well like i got it makes for some good johnny cash songs and i saw one of his heads as it were wounded to death, and his deadly wound was healed, and all the world wondered after the beast. And they worshipped the dragon, which gave power unto the beast. And they worshipped the beast, saying, What is like unto the beast?

Who is able to make war with him? And there was given up unto him a mouth speaking great things and blasphemies. And power was given unto him to continue forty and two months. And he opened his mouth in blasphemy against God to blaspheme his name and his tabernacle and them that dwell in heaven and it was given unto him to make war with the saints and to overcome them and power was given him over

all kindred and tongues and nations and all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him whose names are not written in the book of life of the lamb slain from the foundation of the world if any man have an ear let him hear he that leadeth into captivity shall go into captivity he that killeth I wonder how my father would interpret that. I bet he has an interpretation for it. I bet this is a thing that he's seen a hundred times. He's debated with his friends.

And it wouldn't be surprising at all like like i don't know he'll talk about some bible thing that mentions a blue sash and then there's obama with his tan suit and blue tie and you know like like you know proof positive then yeah you can't deny it now people who are that religious like are kind of scary because like if they see one of those signs they're this close from getting a fucking sniper rifle he wouldn't do that no he's more like an academic about the thing and and uh very very self-confident in his interpretation of this silver sword with a bronze handle with eight jewels on it suddenly appeared in his underwear drawer.

And he'd be like, all right, this is it. This is as it was foretold in the book of Revelation. This is the sword of Christ. Where is Obama vaca... Hawaii. All right, one trip to. One way to Hawaii. I mean, obviously, your dad's enough of a Christian to know that you can't use Revelation to predict end times.

You can't. You'll never know when it is. Not the date, but the Revelation has all the clues that show us that it was very soon. But that's what I don't get about the people who are like, and the end of the world's coming. It's going to be May 16th this year.

And it's like it says in the Bible, but about the day or hour, no one knows, not even the angels in heaven nor the sun, but only the Father. So not even Jesus knows. But it will say things like the oceans will rise, that this will happen, and that will happen, and it will rain frogs, and my father will be like, you know, we got like seven out of eight. Oh, here, this is what's going to happen to us. But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters, and all liars, they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur.

This is the second death. So I will see you guys right there. What happens? We burn in the fire? We burn for all eternity in a lake of fire. A lake of fire? That's not how I pictured it. You've never heard that? That was like what they used to scare us in camp.

They'd be like, and there's a lake of fire the Lord cast all those into that sinned against him and did not truly believe. And like, as a kid, that, it scared the fucking piss out of me. I remember fucking being terrified as a kid,

because I was like, oh my god. Yeah, being like, oh my god, like, how do I know if I'm saved? How do I know if my friends are saved? How am I going to have fun in heaven if I know that everybody I've met is? So, Taylor, if I were to ask you right now, do you think you're saved or sexually immoral? Which one are you? I'm, ah.

You know, probably sexually immoral. Probably sexually immoral. You know, I got immoral. Probably sexually immoral. You know, I got my Rhino 50K. I'll take some of that. I'll be fucking in the lake of fire. Screw you, Jesus. Yeah, they said that they would be very visceral about it. They say, have you ever burned yourself?

You ever grabbed a hot pan and it burned so badly? That's what hell's like. You're going to be in that like a fire and it's going to be over every inch of your body and you're going to burn until all your flesh is gone. And then it'll be made anew again so that you can burn all over again. And this will happen to you for all eternity, burning to nothing and then being,juvenated and then just burning continuously forever with no break, no way away from it. That happened in Supernatural. It sounded terrible. The guy was very emotionally upset about it.

Yeah. I bet he was. He was probably physically upset as well. What do you think the best depiction of hell has been in film? Oh, Dante's Inferno. In film or television. Dante got just ridiculously descriptive about it with the seven pits of hell and just on and on.

Oh, the nine circles? Is it the nine circles or the seven circles? I thought it was seven. I think you're probably, yeah, it's seven. Oh, yeah, because the bottom one is like when you're trapped in ice or some some shit i'm trying to think i haven't seen i haven't read that in so long but you always hear about the seventh pit of hell as well but in any case like like i thought if you've seen um so there's been a lot of cool depictions of it

uh supernatural does an okay job no special effects in my memory but no it is telling the story of what happened to him there, and it sounded really bad. Yeah, they describe it really badly. Spawn has a really shitty... The CGI is so awful, but he's sort of standing on this floating giant thing of magma, and

John... Not John Wick. Constantine, when he goes to hell, it looks like L.A LA except struck by a nuclear disaster and there's like demons hiding in the cars and stuff and everything I'm trying to think like good depictions of hell

it is the nine escape from New York with Sam Plissken or something that's my version of hell it is the nine circles of hell. John Carpenter is involved. So yeah, they're remaking it.

I think he is. I thought it was a meme or a joke or something that Quentin Tarantino was doing Star Trek. That's real? That's true. That's real. It hasn't been finalized that, okay, we like what you have here.

We're doing it. But the idea is that he's presenting a story to the executives and that What's-His- to the executives and that um what's his name would produce it uh what that's been making jj abrams abrams yeah who's currently working on star wars 9 i guess dude i'd love that i i yeah i'd fucking love that kreptan kirk is gonna drop so many n-bombs yeah yeah oh whore no no it's that lithium crystal in this motherfucking starship scotty is that you yes motherfuckers i heard it'd be r-rated hang on do you speak it man now i'm thinking about now i'm thinking about hell and dante it's so interesting have you read it woody

dante's or a divine comedy no what divine comedy is that old testament or new testament that's that's dante's book about hell the divine comedy like uh that goes through all it's just him going through all uh all the the circles of, like, him observing, and, like, the different sins that you commit to get there. So, like, the first sin is, the first layer is limbo, where it's, like, you run into people who weren't Christians, but they were, like, good enough. So, like, Socrates and Homer and Aristotle, like, he sees all of them there. And then the next one is below that where it starts to become hell is lust. So, you know, there's people there like all for fleshly pleasures and shit, like Helen of Troy and Cleopatra.

That sounds like the place to be, really. That might be heaven. The punishment there is that these people are punished by being blown violently back and forth by strong winds, preventing them to find peace and rest. And that is supposed to represent their inability to, you know, not be a whore or a man whore or whatever. Like, they're always

blowing around. They're not persistent. They're not reliable. They're just getting blown constantly. See, that's why it's the Divine Comedy. Dante was a funny guy. Third circle, gluttony. I wonder who we're going to find there. Cerberus. Oh, shit.

So sinners in this circle of hell are punished for being forced to lie in a vile slush that is produced by never-ending icy rain. Hmm. Oh, that's not actually too bad. Fourth circle is greed. They're divided into two groups. Those who hoarded possessions and those who lavishly spent it.

They use great weights as a weapon, pushing it with their chest, which symbolizes their selfish desire. The two groups are guarded by a character called Pluto. So basically the two groups have to fight people who spent way too much and people who wouldn't spend it all just for all eternity. Fifth is anger. Punishment reflects the type of sin committed during the lifetime while passing wait fuck transported by boat phleglius dante and virgil

see the wrathful fighting each other on the surface of the river styx and gurgling beneath the surface of the water okay so they're all trying to not drown, but they're drowning each other for all eternity. Heresy is number six. Do you know what heresy is? No, I was afraid to ask. What is heresy? It's like aggressively not religious. Like you're a heretic.

You're like, not just like, not for me, thanks. It's like, that's no, no, wrong. Like that kind of shit. Don't imagine it for me. Exactly. See, Kyle, you're going to be hanging out, right? Oh, no, wrong. Like that kind of shit. You don't have to be a friend for me. See, Kyle, you're going to be hanging out right. Oh, no, you won't. I know you might. You're going to have a hard time placing, Kyle. None of us are going to go below six, I don't think.

I'll move around. These guys, yeah, heresy, you are condemned to eternity in flaming tombs. That's six. Seven is for violence, and that's divided into three rings. The outer ring has murderers and those who were violent to other people. Alexander the Great was there.

Many other notable historical figures. In the middle ring, he sees suicides, and they've been turned into trees and bushes, which are fed upon by harpies. And then he sees profligates, chased and torn to pieces by dogs. And in the inner ring are blasphemers and sodomites. Uh-oh. We're all here.

Yep. Residing in the desert of burning sand and burning rain falling from the sky. All right, so we've all gotten ahead and put it in an ass or two. And so we're... All right, so we're in seven so far. Let's hope we're not any worse. Fraud is number eight. I don't think any of us are fraudulent.

Jesus! That's good. This circle of hell is divided into ten bulges or stony ditches with bridges in between them. There's panderers and seducers, flatterers. Flatterers?! I know, right? between them uh there's panderers and seducers flatterers uh flatterers i know right this is a this is a bullshit system that god made uh uh sorcerers and false prophets uh corrupt politicians false prophets include people who misinterpret revelations yes yeah it literally does yeah someone who who misleads people

with the word of the Lord, that's a false prophet. And then the ninth circle is treachery. And that's divided into four areas. And it's each named after one of the worst people of all time. So like Cain from Cain and Abel, some guy from Troy, the trojan war who was like

betrayed or something uh ptolemy uh from the you know cleopatra wars or whatever and then the worst place you can be in hell round four of the ninth circle of treachery is uh judaica after judas uh who betrayed jesus with a kiss and so he betrayed jesus with a kiss can we explore this a little bit like so yeah so go ahead kyle to point christ out to the romans so that they could arrest him and inevitably crucify him he gave him a kiss like that that's the one it's kind of like some secret agent stuff you know they basically judas said hey me and the gang and jesus we're all gonna be hanging out like late night here meet up with us and they're like okay just one dude for the memes that one's jesus exactly they were

like how do we know which one's jesus honestly you're all dirty and it's like we don't have any lights for the most part and they're like i'm gonna kiss him whoever i kiss you come nab that dude right so it's not gay it's just for the memes no it was just for the me part, and they're like, I'm going to kiss him. Whoever I kiss, you come nab that dude. It's not gay. It's just for the memes. No, it was just for the memes. You know what? He could have said, that's Jesus. Right? Jesus, what's up? This guy.

He's the one trying to float away. Grab him. You know what I'm saying? He's the one running away across the lake. I did not choose this. What a silly children's story. I feel like you could

throw Hansel and Gretel in there and the house of candy and it would make about as much sense as a lot of that shit. Certainly more than the dragon part with the hydra and the heads and the tiger feet or something. That wasn't making much sense at all. I remember as a kid reading that passage in Sunday school and trying step by step.

Be like, okay, ten horns. We got ten horns. We got ten horns. We got six heads. How do we divide this? All of them can't have... No, each head has ten horns. I'm not 100% sure about that. I think it's...

Maybe it's true, maybe it's not. I just remember as a kid trying to picture all of it. The center two have four horns and the outer four each have one. Keep it symmetrical. That's eight horns. I'm screwing this up. We need to have the middle three with two horns, and then just the outer two.

Okay, should I have that in my head? Again, this is like arguing about how tall Jack and the beanstalk was. No, no. It was 847 cubits tall. Cubits? Well, yeah, that's the

measurement system that's used in the Bible when they're talking about the construction of the ark. Noah's ark. They give the exact dimensions of it. Do you know how many cubits it is? It's like 550 feet. I don't know. Convert 550 feet to cubits

ding ding ding what year do you think it is you fucking philistine 367 cubits ask it how large Noah's Ark was I will try I don't know if she knows that she knows

how large was Noah's Ark? She Googled it. It says 300 cubits is 450 feet. Is that what it was, 300 cubits? Yeah, 300 cubits is how it says the Bible was, or not the Bible. It was 300 cubits in length, cubits in width and 30 cubits in height i have the same thing genesis 615 i knew that not nearly big enough for all the animals in like the united states like but kyle think about it like back in the day like obviously this boat

never existed but like back then that number to them was like, all right, what's the biggest boat you can imagine? And they're like, 200 cubits. No, 300 cubits. And they're like, we could probably fit every animal in the world in there. Probably two of them. Yeah, you're right. All right, type that out.

I honestly think the boat probably did exist. I think that that story is probably about some guy who had a boat, and there was a big flood, and he grabbed all the animals in the village, and he put them on there, and all the other animals died, and they were like, oh, thank God. Jim. That's a serious flood if a boat, which was previously landlocked, sails away. Okay. Yeah, forget the finer details.

Like just the basic structure of like a guy with a boat who in a time of flood put some animals on it. And so when the floodwaters receded, we had enough goats and chickens to keep existing. Like that's probably based on something true. And that's generous, because it's also very likely to just be complete bullshit. It's totally made up. Hey, think about a tsunami. How much time do you think they have? A weatherman

today wouldn't be able to tell you, hey, four months from now, there's going to be a big storm, and you've got to start building the boat. Like, there's no fucking way. Oh, forget about the part about him being forecasted any of this by God either. Right. Like I said, this is just,

I would imagine it's just a story about a guy with a boat who saved some animals in his family. That's all it's about. Like, like, like, like that's all it's about. And you know,

the, the story of the flood is you see that all over the world in South America and, and in the Mideast and everywhere. So, you know, back then a flood would be a big monumental thing that would change life as they knew it. Everybody had a much smaller idea

of what the world meant. It was probably just their valley or their little part of the world or whatever. I'm sure you did because you saw it on Skype like me. GSP is vacating the middleweight belt? Yeah, he's got some sort of, he had a colonoscopy. Colitis. Yeah, something, it's a two-word thing. Ulcerative colitis?

Ulcerative colitis, yeah. And I suppose that's not good for him. I don't know what it is. Some people don't believe it at all. Some people think it's just a completely made-up problem he's dealing with. I don't know what it is. Some people don't believe it at all. Some people think it's just a completely made up problem he's dealing with. I don't know. Well, he got his money. I don't care. You know, whatever.

That's the way to fucking be in the fight game, if you ask me. Especially if you're the kind of guy who has already been knocked around enough that you think aliens are stealing your time. It always sounds Mexican. So for people who don't know,

GSP was maybe one of the best fighters ever at 170. He came back at 185, won one fight, and in his contract it said his next fight will be a defense against Whitaker if he wins. He signed that in his contract. and then immediately afterwards he's like you know I don't know we got a fight next could be anyone could be you know maybe I'll go down to 170 maybe I'll look around like we'll see maybe Conor McGregor 155 60 or yeah did you hear whatever and uh he'll catch weight and that way it's in your contract you have you like we gave you a

shot at the title you have to defend the title otherwise you know otherwise the guy who does have the title kind of looks like a bullshit like yeah you might have the title but you didn't beat the guy who had it before you and uh gsp just totally fucked over the ufc and said yeah you know that contract i signed got a health issue probably yeah if I'm UFC if I'm GSP I want Conor McGregor I don't want anyone other than Conor McGregor um and if I'm the UFC you will never fight him because like if you take his shine by beating him then you will just retire with it and all you've done is ruin my my star i'd be so much such a huge money fight like i i i don't i don't even know if he because gsp is the bigger guy and such a legend i don't

know if that takes too much shine off of connor you know it's not it would do it a catch weight too at 160 so like it's not even at a weight that connor has held a belt at because there is no 160 not defending his belt in his next fight i he might give it up fucking cares yeah yeah and like connor says like i don't give a shit they're right here come and take them off me come and take them off yeah yeah or sometimes he claims to have the money belt i'm wearing the money belt that's it's the money belt when you fight me you know the mick belt is the biggest belt in the ufc yeah so i i just look if he's really sick and there's nothing he can do then that's fine it's suspicious to me and everybody else yeah i

don't carry the way i didn't expect him yeah i i don't know what i expected i've always thought that like i want to see him fight mcgregor mcgregor's my guy you know that's the show that's the show and That's the show. And everything else is just kind of... I'm interested in personality. It's a personality-driven sport. And talent. Yeah, and talent. People who put on a show.

But the fighters that I care about watching, I like Cody. I like Yair Rodriguez. I want to see DJ fight. I like the freak show of Cyborg fighting anyone, especially Holmes, who I think has the striking to compete with her. I like McGregor fighting anything and everything because of just the shit-talking that he puts on. I don't care that much. It was fun to watch, but Eddie doesn't draw me in as much as Habib Nurmagomedov does, who's got this

crazy personality about him. He's the eagle. In his broken, not Russian, Kyrgyzstan. I agree with a lot of what you're saying. I can't say why, though.

Nagin Nagin Nagin Nagin saying i can't say why though like not gonna not gonna not gonna not gonna fight here he uh he he doesn't have that i've seen him interviewed and stuff and i don't i don't he doesn't he's no connor even connor right and to me i can i can do a connor soundboard and do all his trash talk you know who the fuck are? I've got all this money. You're a bum. Just like repeat the, hit the Connor soundboard, and you will get a Connor interview. It's not that, there is no poetry.

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee coming from Connor. It's just outrageous confidence. But it works on me too, somehow. Somehow I still like to see it. And all the names you named, draw me in as well. You know, the freak show, the interviewer, this guy, that guy. I still like Chael Sonnen's interviews over anyone else we've mentioned. But, yeah, you're definitely onto something with the people you named.

Yeah, it's a great show. I don't know why. Amanda Nunez, like, I like watching her beat the shit out of women. But she's not very smooth on the microphone with her broken fucking Portuguese like like so strong and the and to me part of her character is that she's gay and I like that about her she's just in there like beating the fuck out of other women it's like I don't know I like Nunez I like to watch her fight I want to see a porno where she I guess for I don't want her to rape women,

but force them into a situation where they have to say... The implication is there. Force them into a situation where they're okay with having sex because it's their best option. Yes, because of the implication. Yes.

I'm still pleased with my Nagamenov joke. At least I can pronounce that. It is a real tongue twister. Habib Nurmagomedov. Yeah, I could say Nganou. That's not how you pronounce it. Well, that's the one that I can say I guess. It's in-ga-nu.

In-ga-nu. Yeah you say min-ga-nu. Almost as if it were to start with an I. In-ga-nu. Yes. You pronounce the letter like in-ga-nu. Which is slightly different than in which is what I thought you said. In-ga-nu.

Well wouldn't you know it you guys are called a show yeah yeah i guess we could do that uh pka check out our uh many sponsors they are they are numerous and wonderful of course smart mouth movement watches omaha stage sticks ama omaha stakes stitch fix me undies and whistle what's the deal with the HeartMouth, Movement Watches, Omaha Stakes, Stitch Fix, MeUndies, and Whistle. What's the deal with the Christmas painkiller thing? Do they have one shot to order it? Yes, I believe there's 24 hours. You want to click that link below immediately. Get on there and make that happen.

It may only be for the Patreons. Or the Patrons. They're not Patreons. They're Patrons. Yeah, I find that. I'm sure I infected you with whatever mispronunciation you just got there. PKA 364.