Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #367

Episode Date: January 5, 2018

This week on PKA, AlphaM aka Aaron Marino joins us on PKA to discuss men's fashion and style, whether you'd rather be a handsome midget or a 400-pound man and the benefits that come with being a little person and then some light soccer bashing. All this and more on Painkiller Already.

Painkiller already, episode 367 with our guest Alpha M, a.k.a. Aaron. Kyle? Yeah, just one sponsor tonight, Squarespace. Yeah, we'll talk more about Squarespace later. Also, PKN season two, so links below. Yep. So, Aaron, I've been, admittedly, nine hours ago I didn't know who you were, but I picked it up quick on YouTube, Googling about,

because Chiz, of course, you've spoken to him, was like, hey, you need to look this guy up first because he does a lot of different shit and you don't want to come into the conversation blind. And so I was like, all right. We've all been on kind of a fitness health kick a bit for the last year or so, getting in better shape. And so I was like, oh, perfect. We're going to have a ton to talk about with this guy.

But first, the first thing I saw from you was the shark tank. And I wanted to ask, like, how much of those little one liners and like musings of billionaires is like contrived? And how much is you actually standing there like, oh, fuck, like they are thinking this over? You know, it's it's funny. Shark tank. I've been on twice. The first time was was a lot scarier than the second time. What you see is really pretty much what you get. The reality is that the second time I was on, I was out there, or what you see is about 10 to 12 minutes. I was out there pitching for an hour and a half. It's super intense. The whole time, you're just super nervous. I'm going to

ruin something for you. Next time you watch, watch everybody's mouth. They're always licking their lips because you get so dry. You're nervous. It's something that I notice now because the whole time I was out there, I'm thinking to myself, my God, I'm licking my lips a little bit too much. But you can't help it. No, it's pretty much what you see is what you get. That's cool. I like the way you treated, I don't know any of the names other than Mark Cuban, but that bald guy was being real douchey. And most of the time, like, they're all like the person presenting is so submissive about it.

Like, oh, yeah, well, maybe that is a good deal for me, like, or something. But you were like, no, no, no. That offer on the table, ma'am? Yeah, fucking you. Like, oh, it's good. Like, that bald guy is such a smarmy douche all the time. Like, it was good to see him get a little bit. You know, it's a television show.

And that's the thing that you just have to remember. They want and the producers want good, entertaining television. And so if you come out there and you're just submissive and a bit of a puss, chances are your episode isn't going to air. Because can you imagine? Here's the truth of it is they film, I think, like 150 different entrepreneurs. And they only air like 90-something. So there are like 60 people that go out thinking, you know, that's it. I'm getting on TV. I'm going to, you know, I'm going to be on Shark Tank.

And they've probably already told all their friends and everybody's expecting it. And, and they, they don't end up being, being on the show because they're, they're just kind of a dud and there's no real excitement or fireworks. And so, so yeah, it, it's, it's always fun to, to, you know, do something like that. It was, it was like my Superbowl, you know, doing YouTube videos, you guys know, you know, it's sort of your sweet spot. And so when the lights go on, it's, it's, it's time to roll. And so it was a lot of fun. When you went on Shark Tank, was your primary motivation to land a deal or to get on the show for advertising, free advertising?

I have no idea what you're talking about. Oh, really? Yeah, who could know? I needed a deal. You know, you do Shark Tank because of the exposure. Now, the truth is that I think it used to be better for the entrepreneurs that got on the show. I think you heard a lot of those success stories.

But anymore, it's more just about the sharks and more about the story, more about the entertainment than anything. And so I don't really think people are going and seeking out the inventions or the entrepreneurs that they see on the show as much as they used to. But I went on for a deal. And once I realized that that wasn't going to happen, then it was like, all right. I just need to accept something because I need this show to air. I need the happy ending that this guy who got laughed out of the tank the first time is now walking out of here triumphantly. And so it was, you know, little A, little B.

Okay. I mean, that seems like a smart way to play it. Like the Pete and Pablo or Pablo andete the uh pair product company you own pete and pedro pablo whatever close enough that's the that's the horrible uh that's the i was about to say i like taylor's company better pablo and pete hair company like no uh Did you see a giant surge in sales right after it aired? No, it's funny. Being on YouTube, the week leading up to it, I did sort of like, hey, I'm going to be on Shark Tank thing, just promoting my audience.

And I did twice the business from that little pitch to my audience than I did when I aired on Shark Tank. And so, you know, it was a nice weekend. It was a good weekend. It wasn't the best weekend ever or anything like that, but it was decent. How many people watch Shark Tank though? What do they get? Like 700,000 views, 1.5 million views, something like that? It's like 6 million. Is it really? Yeah. So you would think, you know, as long as you're selling something other than like, you know, plastic dog turds, you'd do something. But apparently I am pitching the equivalent of that. Because the first time I was on, I sold one system. And I know.

Can you imagine? I just imagine that leading up to this, you've got tons of shipping boxes. And you're like, all right, everybody. Prepare for overtime mode. I need all hands on deck. And then, like, the crickets are chirping. Oh, it was depressing after it because, you know,

I thought that I was going to get something. I thought I was going to get a huge spike in subscribers on YouTube. They edited all the things I wanted out of it the first time, and so it kind of was very anticlimactic and a little bit depressing afterwards, to be honest. Did you get to see the version that they were going to air prior or when you watch it on TV? Is it like, oh, shit, I guess they're not leaving

the part in where I had a nice cogent point response to this? Nope. You don't know. They let you know literally a week before your episode is going to air that your episode is going to air. And so you've got to do things. They warn you. They're like, hey, make sure that your website's up. Make sure that you're all. I spent thousands of dollars making sure that my website could handle massive, crazy amounts of traffic. And I wasted thousands of dollars trying to get my website ready for crazy amounts of traffic.

Oh, that's painful. I read that you were on Fear Factor and I searched and searched for the specific episode that you were on. I couldn't find it. So I have to just ask what did you do on the episode? I looked like a pussy. Did you get to a part

where you had to eat anything? That to me is always the... It's the hardest, yeah. Yeah. You know, Fear Factor, that's another one of those shows. By the time you go out there, you have in your mind thought about all the most horrible things that they could possibly make you eat.

It's like you're ready to eat cat turds by the point and time that you go out there. And so for me, the second stunt, it was actually like a bug transfer where we were hanging upside down, and we had those Matic Askar hissing cockroaches and big little pieces of worms. And we had to, basically, we were suspended upside down,

and there was this big bin of worms with all these bugs, and you had to sort them with your mouth. And so that was like nothing, right? I'm like, really? That's something. I don't know. So did you win? Did you lose?

How'd you do? What got you? You know, the first stunt got pretty much everybody except one guy. They handcuffed you and put you in a body bag. And you had a key on like a carabiner or a lanyard on your wrist. And so the idea is that they're going to zip you up in this body bag, and then they're going to dump you or drop you in a tank of water. And so, you know, I was like, well, yeah, but I almost, I don't think I almost did.

It was, you know, because what you don't realize is that as soon as they drop you in water, it's like if you had a bag on your hand and you submerge it in a tub, it saran wraps you. And so you go in and you literally, whatever position you were in when they drop you, that's where you're staying until the water and everything sort of starts to regulate. And so you're fighting. You're trying to get this bag to move. You're holding your breath. Water's coming in, the goggles went up. And so they tell you right before they drop you in the water, they say, hey, don't wait until you're out of air. We need about

10 seconds to get you up before, you know, before, you know, so basically just don't wait until you're about to take a breath. And the, breath. And the international sign of getting me the hell out of here was this. And so I'm thinking to myself, I'm like, how do I know if I'm five or ten seconds or 15 seconds? And so, yeah, I looked like a humongous puss on national television with that one, but that was a tough one because everybody sort of bailed out at that one except the last guy who was able to do it and then uh but by that point the pressure's off so come on and then um guy he probably saw

like oh nobody else died and they all accidentally tapped out too early so i've learned that lesson absolutely absolutely and and so and then the second stunt with the bug transfer i was killing this guy right yeah the sort the amount of bugs that you got was sort of going. My bin had the two winners that previously went. My bin was down bugs.

I ran out of bugs before he ended up winning. That was it. Fear was a factor. Every time my grandmother watches that episode, because it reruns all the time. I lost you there for a second, Aaron. What, what about the bugs? You ran out of bugs in your bin? I ran out of bugs in my bin. And so my, my bin was down bugs. But, and so. Was it light on bugs or out of bugs? It was light on bugs because the two previous winners were on my bin,

and they don't replenish bugs after each session. So what happened was it was harder for you to get bugs because it was lightly populated, whereas the other guy was in a target-rich environment. That's it. Nobody was a bigger fan of fear factor than whoever the madagascar hissing cockroach salesman is like wherever that regional distributor lives like he like almost madagascar yeah it must be madagascar or a hissing cockroach farm in central texas who knows but that uh did you feel like any bugs cracking in your teeth or like any pieces? The interesting thing about it was that these millipedes were super big and just really, really huge.

And when you were finished, I said to the producer, I said, why do I taste spicy? And he said, it's actually because the legs are cutting your tongue, microscopic cuts on your tongue, and it's the sensation of spiciness. And then your lips are bleeding a little bit because the cockroaches do bite and so there was that plus you have a bunch of worm crap in your mouth but I don't know so I don't know if you know like the one of the final episodes of Fear Factor the thing that got him taken off the air was they had a contest where the contestants threw I believe they threw horseshoes.

And it didn't matter if you were the horseshoe world champion. You could ring it every time. You were going to have to drink some amount of horse cum or horse urine. And they had pictures of this stuff. And I believe it was an episode with maybe twins or brothers and sisters or something. I think it was twins or something like that. And I just remember these two girls, they had to decide which one was going to drink the piss and which one was going to drink the cum. And she's just guzzling like a big beer mug of horse cum. And I've heard Rogan speak on it.

He's like, I knew we were going too far with that show. I knew that was too much i was watching it go down and i knew it was too much it was donkey thank you shiz it was donkey cum i don't know if that's better or worse like like you know it's not it's even lower class than horse cum donkey cum but it's not like late like on jack saw, you know, they did like a shot glass of horse cum, and that's disgusting enough, right? But no, this is like 30 ounces of horse cum. They're taking like the kind of drinks you see in a Powerade commercial out of this. Like just glug, glug, full mouthful. They're chugging it.

Dripping slowly down their chin. The prize is only $50,000, right? It's only $50,000. Like, all right, that's a ton of money, right? I'll drink a lot of horse cum for $50,000. Will you? Will you really? I mean, if you were to say

I would drink a Powerade full of it. I would drink a pure sign full of horse cum. You got to be careful saying things like that. We've got a bit of an audience here. Last time, remember when Wings said that he would have sex on camera for five grand? We made it happen. It was 36 hours before we had the money on the table. So, you know, there may be a group of people who love you and or hate you.

It doesn't matter. Who will just accrue $50,000? All right. Let's cut the bullshit. What's the actual lowest amount of money for you to drink a beer stein full of horse cum it's on the table a beer stein is one of those big like it's like let's say like october fest type things yeah 20 25 ounces like a tall boy of beer were and do you want it warm or cold well you have

to drink it fresh that's a stipulation you have to procure it fresh. That's a stipulation. You have to procure it. The donkey has to be in eyesight. How many horses will this take? Well. I mean, I would totally do it for $100,000. The question is, would I do it for $50,000? You wouldn't drink a beer stomp full of... Oh, $100,000.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you gave me that shocked look i'm like come on 100 grand matters like that's a thing oh yeah i do it for 100 grand i honestly like 50 i think i wouldn't do it for 15 oh i do it 15 well we have a new uh yeah i think they might uh choose you over me for this one i'd prefer 20 because then at least it feels right. I don't want to drink a bunch of cum and be like, oh, God, if I bought a car with this, I could barely get a fucking Yaris. I was thinking car sales. This is a bad negotiating tactic.

You're like, I'd do it for 15, but prefer 20. Oh, well, 20 then, I guess. It'll never happen. I bet if we lay 12.5 on the table, he starts guzzling. Yeah. 20 after taxes. You do poorly on Shark Tank. Or on Fear Factor.

Well, I want 10%, but I'd take $7. I did. Well, I'm offering $7, though. Yeah, exactly. Fuck. Bamboozle myself. I don't know about that. Like, $50 is a lot of money.

It really is. See, here's the difference between this discussion we're having and the Fear Factor thing. They're drinking the comp. This is like the second competition on a show. There's more competitions to come. Guzzling that comp doesn't mean they get 50 grand. It means they get to continue on in the show. They're guzzling that comp for an opportunity at 50 grand.

They might not get it. They didn't. Make 20 grand, then drink the cum, and maybe get nothing. Because some other maniac like Aaron is just really good at sorting bugs with his mouth, like 20 minutes later, and it's like, oh god, I got a stomach full of cum for nothing.

Who hasn't had that problem? Times states don't go the way you want them to. No. I'll find, whatever it takes, I would procure the cum if the audience out there can crowdfund up $15,000. We will definitely have Taylor drink it. I get all the money. Of. I get all the money.

Of course you get all the money. Kyle gets the memories of procuring the cum. Yeah. That's enough. I've been looking for an excuse to jerk a horse off for years. I don't know if I'd want that on video. I know I wouldn't want it on video because people would be like, hey, guess what my grandpa did on YouTube in

2018 He passed away On the other hand or say there's this whole notion There's so much ridiculous stuff on YouTube now. It would just fall into a sea of horse cum and pee drinkers That's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that by that point, it doesn't matter. That's super tame. I talked about it last week on the show. It used to be you released your porn in the 90s,

your homemade video, and you were doomed. Everybody saw it. Now there is so much content out there, it just gets lost. Yeah, but it can be found at any time. It's like pee in the ocean. Dude thing in the ocean you know you can't find that again there it's i've known girls who like told me they're like yeah i did a porno exit this year and i was like which uh which production company oh i think it was i think it was called blue moon projects yeah and i'm like, what state was it filmed in?

And they told me the state. With all that information, I scoured the internet for years. Occasionally, I still get bored. And I'm like, all right, this production company, this year, I know what the girl looks like. No, there's so much porn on the internet. You just can't find it. You just can't. Guy from that podcast

drinking horse cum. Oh, found it. One result. Found it, yeah. Have you heard of the subreddit tip of my penis? Yeah. Well, there's the expression tip of my tongue which is like, I'm thinking of it but I can't

quite find it. Tip of my penis is that. And basically you go to the subreddit and you say hey this video was magic for me i don't know what it's called the girl had medium length blonde hair and she did this and there was a bell sound in the background and i unbelievably to me there are people out there with a mental catalog of these videos that can be like ah yes this is the one you're thinking of i i can hardly remember emma thompson's name and and these people can remember the name of every porn they've ever seen uh so i mean yeah what a bunch of degenerates just watch porn like an adult like do you really have to stop by like when you're horny and you

want to watch porn or whatever, you do it. You don't stop by a forum first and like, all right. Hey, buds. I'm about to beat off. I want to talk to a few other guys. You ever seen that blonde video with the girl getting cum on her face or whatever?

Then a guy, of course, is one-handed typing back to you. You're using it wrong. It's supposed to be like, oh, I saw this thing four years ago. Can find it it was my version of perfect can you help me find it and these people can that's their thing i saw a video and welcome to the show aaron i saw a video a while back and uh there was this guy and a girl and they were like cam couples i guess and i can't even describe it in a way that would make it findable again. Because what was magic was their relationship. They just had a certain level of comfort with each other.

And I don't know, it looked like a really loving cam horror show. You could tell there was comfort because his dick was in her mouth. Anyway, I couldn't even get to describe that to tip of my penis. But whatever, I can't find it again. And it just ratifies my view that if there's enough smut out there, it gets lost.

Am I the only one that, like, if I'm on Reddit and I see, like, a porn image, I'm scouring the background to, like, try to get some insight into, like, what year it was or, like, if they're in a college or, you know, sometimes they'll have their calendar. Like, I want to see what they're doing on monday like like like what i'll see and like notice sometimes is like you'll see a girl with like like those high neon colored rainbow like gay pride looking socks yeah like thigh highs and like she'll have meticulously shaved every hair off of her body and she'll like be in a good position like against the mirror and being and then she'll be Like like a little title like first time posting. I'm pretty shy Teehee

Here's my asshole, and then it's like you'll see her asshole and her pussy right there That's cuz she's shy but in the background of this meticulously constructed shot there will be like a Dirty empty can of soda and then trash on the ground, and a banana peel, and it's like you took all this time, and you couldn't have tidied up a little bit? I can't be the only one. If I'm taking a dick pic,

and there's trash visible somewhere, why would I clean it up? See, if you guys are private detectives checking out the apartment, I am more of a gynecologist checking out the actual focal point of the of a gynecologist checking out the actual focal point of the image. No, that's where they want you to look.

I'm sure. Aaron, how did you get into being a fashion expert? On that topic? I'm not a fashion expert. What happened? I used to own a personal training studio. And I had a client who was going out on a date and didn't know what to wear.

And he asked me if I had any advice. And I said, yeah, why don't I come over to your place and see what you have. And while we're there, if we find anything we need, we'll go shopping. And you need to trim your nose hair. find anything we need, we'll go shopping and you need to trim your nose hair. And so it was sort of the start of this idea of a business, like an image consultant. I didn't even know it was such a thing. This was back in like 2006 and that show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy was on. And so I did that with him and it was a lot of fun and he went to work and one of his female co-workers was like, hey, you know, you look great. How'd that happen? And he said, well, there's this guy that

I know. And so he gave her my number and she wanted me to take her husband shopping. And so I had a fitness center that failed. And after that happened, sort of trying to figure out, okay, what am I going to do next? And so I decided to try image consulting. And so that was kind of the segue into that. And two years later, I posted YouTube video, but I just know more than most straight guys, but just a little bit more. What is the revenue for fitness? I'm sorry, image consulting come in. Is it, is it YouTube channel that probably is the more successful half of it or actual paying customers? No, back then it was, this was back when you could actually like advertise, you know, Google AdWords and, and not, you know, have to spend $150 per click for a keyword. And so I was getting all my, my revenue from the image consulting from these guys that would search it,

um, all over the country. I mean, I from these guys that would search it all over the country. I mean, I had guys flying in from all over the country to go through like a session where I'd take them shopping, get their hair cut. And a lot of it was guys that were recently divorced, just, you know, looking to get back into the game and didn't want to look like their friends. And so they would find me and we'd do that thing. Was there like an archetype that you had in your mind that you would take them through? Like, all right, go here, get you a nice blazer and then get you some straight leg pants. And then we'll get you some brown leather shoes and a brown leather, but like, did you have something like that? You kind of reprogrammed? Yeah, pretty much. I mean, and here's the thing,

like with men's clothing and men's stores, it's very limited compared to women. And with guys, you know, our style doesn't change that frequently as opposed to women. And so, you know, how much has the suit changed in the past, you know, 20, 30, 40 years? Not much. like just little minor modifications on what they're doing that make a big difference in terms of the way that they look. And so, but yeah, it was typically, I got everybody pretty much the same wardrobe. And so it was pretty easy at that point. What are the biggest, or I guess a weird way to phrase it, but the biggest little things that you would see guys overlooking? Because you said the nose hair thing, and that made me think of that. I'm sure you've got a litany of them. No, I mean, mainly it's their clothing just doesn't fit right. Most guys err on the side of bigger as opposed to smaller.

I mean, it's rare that you find a guy who looks like a sausage, and you're like, yo, bro, that's just not working for you. I mean, most of the guys are wearing a large, and they should be in a medium. Or they're in a 42 jacket, and they should be a 40 regular, or whatever it is. And so usually it's just about sizing down, and it makes all the difference in the world. Okay.

Yeah, interesting, right? It is. I'm going to ask you this question. Jerk and donkey's off to talking about men's outstreet pants. Oh, we'll revisit that. Can you tuck in a T-shirt and your jeans? Is that okay? Are you our king of the hill?

Is it okay? It's okay. Is it seen as stylish? The answer is probably not. But that's my opinion. And that's a beautiful thing. The fact that Aaron is so polite and his answer wasn't immediately yes should be an indicator that you know and you mentioned that these these things that it's being tucked

into are what kind of shorts would he cargo shorts i said jeans but oh jeans that the car i don't know this is all about me that's really funny but what about the problem i have with shorts this is a summertime problem i have cargo shorts which to me feel like appropriate for like shop time or whatever and then i have shorts that seem almost like golf course shorts and i don't have kick around in between shorts i don't see that and i don't know that doesn't seem to exist to me i don't wear shorts often i don't know. It doesn't seem to exist to me. I don't wear shorts often. I don't own a single pair. Do you have bad calves?

No, I've got good calves. Woody has good calves. Woody, good calves? I do have good calves. Powerful calves. They're kind of a running joke on the show, but they are good. Men just do. They look better in pants. The only kind of shorts that I see a lot of guys wearing are like those above the knee

pastel looking ones that people wear with boat shoes and vineyard vines and it's like you just look like you're in a fraternity and I don't want to look like that and boat shoes there's no better way to look shitty and have your feet smell like a literal

asshole I know you guys wear pants and you live in warm climates too but in north carolina for me i wear shorts like eight and a half nine months a year like that that anything else and i'd be melting and unhappy well you are married i i think i think maybe that's part of it you are no longer on the hunt as one might say yeah if i were uh in a relationship or married in a permanent relationship i would dress totally differently yeah like i would dress like a i don't i can't remember the last time i wore sweatpants outside of the house but that would become a thing

nothing but robes and white t-shirts robes white and i'd lose the the you know belt as you always do but who cares Jerry's like is that velvet I like to think that Jackie knows how unattractive the shorts are but it's part of her plan to make sure that you're not

hooking in any young ladies out there when you're going to the Home Depot or whatever you're doing. She's like, oh yeah, that looks great. These calves are pheromone that go for hundreds of yards, Kyle. To whom? All the other people at Home Depot.

That's where I'm going. All those gals. If you went to the gym, I'm sure there'd be some guys who were like, how did you get that definition, bro? I've been doing hummingbirds. I've been doing hummingbirds for years, and I can't even come close to that. It's incredible. But I don't know.

Has Jackie ever told you that she was like, yeah, when I saw your calves, even come close to that it's incredible but but like i don't i don't know i has was has jackie ever told you that she was she was like yeah when when i saw your calves i knew you were the man for me i know she just makes fun of the shoes i had on at the time i mean i mean i know when you met jackie you were in i had um shoes they were like a sprinter's running shoe like really lightweight hardly any sole, something Usain Bolt would wear during the Olympics. Not like to them, but like while on the thing. They're practically slippers with practically spikes on the bottom, and they were red at a time in the 90s when people didn't wear red shoes.

But I thought they were awesome. I had my own style. And I think I had just shaved my head. I was practically bald because I was a swimmer and that's what you do for the big meet at the end of the year and that had just happened so I had like two weeks of hair and red shoes

and but whatever I worked out like six hours a day it overcame the rest of it she thought you were a cancer patient a terrible fashion sense she was like ah he needs some help like hello you shave everywhere though right patient. A terrible fashion sense. She was like, oh, he needs some help. You shave everywhere, though, right? Did you shave your legs

as well? I know we've talked about this before and you've answered this, but I know you shave. So you remember those little bathing suits people wore back in the 90s? Now they have long pants. Everything that bathing suit didn't cover was shaved. Head, armpits, arms. Yeah, yeah, everything. Everything.

The armpits seem unnecessary, though. Top of your of your feet no armpits are really necessary arms it's not that it's only the head that would would throw me like i can get everything else like the legs would be annoying because i know you got to pierce the water but if like i never swam i played hockey but if they were like you before a game like all right boys get those heads shaved for, get out there and be like, Oh, Whoa. I don't know if a win is worth that. It is though.

We keep our hair. Like the thing about swimming, I don't want to go too deep into swimming, but really it's one meet that matters at the end of the year. Every other meet is this kind of a checkpoint on how you're doing this year. Like how your training is coming, how over-trained, how exhausted,

like everything else is just a checkpoint. It's just everyone makes the Super Bowl and everyone competes at the same time and how you did that day is what counts. So that's the day you shave down for and you taper for and the whole nine yards. Okay, okay. But I'm standing by my theory

that Jackie intentionally sends you out in those shorts to make sure that you don't have to worry. Words hurt, man. If anything, that's kind of a bit of a passive compliment. Absolutely it is. He still thinks that you can pull a pussy. Oh, look. If you were a big slovenly ape who just lumbered to the store,

she'd be like, yeah, wear your best tux, douchebag. You're not getting anything. You could walk out with a $1,000 bill hanging out of your flag. No worries. But Woody's a good looking guy. He's very well off. He's accomplished. He's

credentialed. He's a dancing champion. He's on a world famous podcast. I'm telling you. I've said it before. I'll say it again. If something were to happen to your family... One tragic car accident away from Slade. One tragic car accident where you wrong

the mob and they come take them all out or whatever happens. You're just going to be swimming in it, buddy. We can all participate in Tinder Talk. I feel like Woody could get some 30-year-old ladies. You'd be getting some young pussy. I was going to class that up a bit, but why?

Hey, you know what? I bet Hope has some cute friends. Oh, Jesus Christ. I got a Roy Morant. That would happen. No, she's older than the girls that Roy Morant was. Yeah, she's too old for Roy Morant 18. She's older than the girls at Roy Morty Wars. Yeah, she's too old for Roy Morty Wars at 18. You would be finding an excuse to visit her school twice a week.

Like, I brought some more furniture. Hey, ladies. Anyone want to ride in my new Corvette? Do you girls like beer? I just got my tandem paramotoring license. Anyone want to strap in? I would get no girls. Oh, you totally would.

You absolutely would. You could be right. You're the one who's in the game. But as cool as it is that I think it is to do, I think it looks really dorky. Aaron, are you married? Yeah. I've been married for 10 years, together for like 15.

Okay. So she was cool with the bug eating, or I guess you started dating around the bug eating. Yeah. I actually was not dating her when I did the Fear Factor, but yeah, she's a sport. Definitely a sport. I was thinking you must be single because like I feel like it must take so much. I guess it is like your job, to be fair, to like stay up on all the fashion, to stay in shape and to like give self-improvement tips all the time. But like, is it hard or was it harder after you got married to stay as motivated with that? Like, did you ever feel like a lull? Like, did you know how like all women and men get fat for the most part when they get in a relationship. When I moved in with my wife, um, I gained like 40 pounds, right? I was always like in super,

I was in great shape. I, I, you know, from the age of like 12, I knew I wanted to own a fitness center. And so that was sort of my, my life. Um, and then I come from sort of a kind of a bad, you know, family situation. So I would always find like just just incredible, you know, just peace and inspiration. And I just really love the gym. And so it's always sort of been a part of of me. But when we moved in together, I never really ate biscuits or bacon before I met my wife i gained like fucking 40 pounds like literally within the first like three months of us us living together that's impressive have i done like i had i had to buy all new pants i caught my reflection and my ass was just humongous i had cellulite everywhere. It was a hot mess.

And so I basically had to be like, you know, look, I love you, but I'm disgusting. And so she curtailed that. But yeah, everything's good. Everything's good. But no, I enjoy it. And so it's sort of my time

to just be with me and in my head. So no, it's not that big of a deal right now. Does she work outside the house? It's sort of my time to just be with me and in my head. So no, it's not that big of a deal right now. Does she work outside the house? Does she work outside of the house? Yeah. What do you mean? I was going to ask if she has a job in a very politically correct way.

Does she have a job? He's frozen for me. Is he frozen for you? He's frozen for me. That question ruined his internet connection. Yeah, he unplugged. He hated it so much. He'll frozen for me. That question ruined his internet connection. Yeah, he unplugged. He hated it so much. He'll be back in a second. He had a bump in the road before.

Yeah, Kyle, that's the time to go pee when the guest is frozen and we're... When he comes back, I'll just be gone. He'll just be gone. Hey, let's all be gone. He goes back on and none of us are here. I'm back, guys. Sorry about that.

I'm back. I'm back. We were all going to leave. We were like, it'd be funny if we just disappeared if we weren't here when he came back. There we go. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back.

Oh, so does she work outside the house? That was what I was asking. Oh, no. Again? Wait, I heard his words. There we go. Does she work outside the house? She does. She's got a good job. She's a marketing director for

an engineering firm. Oh, I had it all wrong then. In my head, you worked every waking minute and she was the support system. That was how I imagined it to be no no she is this she's a she's a support system but yeah um i uh no yeah i do work every waking moment though yeah because you've got the youtube channel and i i used to do youtube like full time like really hard and i know how much effort you can put into it and you've got the the men's

clothing stuff and then the uh that helped me pedro and no i've got a put into it. And you've got the men's clothing stuff. And then the, help me, Pedro. No, I've got a men's skincare company based out of Chicago. Tiege Hanley, that's actually, it's gotten huge really quick. Pete and Pedro, I have an advertising agency called Menfluential Media. And we actually did, we've done, like, when I was watching some of the other episodes, and I saw Matt Farha, and we've sold a bunch of advertising for him, gotten him a bunch of brand deals. So, yeah, so I have, like, five businesses.

And so it does, and YouTube is also, like, a full-time job. You know, I do five videos a week, you know, for my website. And then, you know, I'm doing, you know, I did 172 product promotions this year on my YouTube channel. And so it's, uh, Wow.

Have you ever worked for somebody? And with the views you get and those, I noticed your, uh, your ads and your videos, they're all baked in. Yeah. Obviously the rate for that is way more that you can charge the company like you if you get 172 of those this year that's awesome yeah like is the like you're clearly entrepreneurial in nature you just like

starting shit you said that what you wanted to do was have a fitness center yeah like the skincare company everything else you do do they does it all kind of take a backseat in your head to like, ah, but what I really want is this fitness center? No. No, as soon as, I mean, the only thing I ever wanted to do was own a fitness center, and then I owned it, and a month later, it was the last thing I wanted to do. I mean, it was fucking horrible.

Why? What was the worst about it? I mean, the worst thing about the fitness center is, you know, this is back before there were, there was, you know, there was LA Fitness. This was before there was, you know, a 24-hour fitness center on every corner. And so, really, it was just about, you know, these hours. I mean, you know, for you to make any money, you've got to just work, you know, just an insane amount of time, you know, training these people. And at the end of the day, you know, just an insane amount of, of, of time, you know, training these people.

And at the end of the day, you know, the people cleaning my toilets made more money than, than I was with this fitness center. And so, um, it was, it was brutal. Where are the expenses coming from? From the outside. Let me tell you what the untrained eye, like mine sees. You've got a bunch of equipment sitting there that lasts like longer than humans do. And you just charge people to use it. And I'm like, this is a cash cow. So where am I wrong? Okay. So a treadmill, a commercial grade treadmills around $12,000 for one. You know, a leg extension machine, you're looking at around $5,000.

So in a small 1,500 square foot, you know, personal training studio, we had half a million dollars worth of equipment that was, you know, a lease purchase. And so that's expensive. The retail space is expensive. You know, it's, it's all, it just all adds up. And so, you know, you, you're only making money if you've got multiple trainers, you know, making, you know, you're only making money if you've got multiple trainers, you know, making, you know, 50, 60, $70 an hour. I mean, it was, it was brutal. It was brutal. So yeah, no, but, but to your point, you know, if you have a fitness center that has say, you know, 10,000 members and they're all paying, you know, 30 bucks a month and, and the majority of them don't use it because only about 10% of active members are actually

using a fitness center. 10%? 10%. Yeah. And so they make all their money in January. January, everybody comes in, everybody signs up and then they never come back. And you feel so guilty about not going, you don't cancel your membership because next month I'll go or tomorrow I'll go. And so it's, you know, that is a great business, but it's still, it's still, it's still tough because now you've got so much competition. And, um, you know, back when I was doing it, it was, we started as a personal training studio and this was back when you could make a living as a personal trainer, you know, 50, 60, a hundred dollars an hour. Now, you know, you're making 20 bucks a half an hour. And so, no, I never want

to even think about doing that ever again. You know, you don't want to start up something like Planet Fitness where they give you pizza. And if you accidentally, when you're deadlifting, set it down too hard and it makes noise, someone will freak out at you and be like, hey, we don't need that intimidating environment here for all these fat cows stuffing their face with stuffed crust. You know, we'll basically go on. Although it sounds appealing. It does. Never again.

Have you worked for anybody or have you always been self-employed? I worked for a fitness center when I got out of college. You know, I've been an entrepreneur pretty much my entire life. And, you know, it's funny because, you know, when my fitness center failed, it's like, fuck, what am I going to do now? Because nobody will hire me because I was, you know, I, you know, as a business owner, I was an entrepreneur. Nobody wants to hire an entrepreneur because they know that you're going to be looking for something else to do. And, you know, what are you going to say on a resume? You know, yeah, I tried this business. It didn't really work out all that well. I've got a, I've got a degree, but that means absolutely

nothing. And so, you know, I'm pretty much unemployable if I don't work for myself, to be honest. And so that's my theory. Makes sense. And it's also, if you're an entrepreneurial kind of person, it'd probably kill you a little bit to not be in charge, not be the one directing it, not making those decisions and whatnot. Absolutely. You know, and that's the thing. I mean, when my fitness center failed, I did work for somebody. I drove a beer cart to put gas in my car and put food on and, and sort of give my wife or my then girlfriend some money. It was, uh, I, I drove a beer cart at, uh, at a country club. And so here I am, I had this, this business that I thought was going to be, you know, just, you know, just the end all be all. And, um, and I'm driving a beer cart at the age of 30,

you know, trying to figure out what my next, you know, and that was the hardest thing about having, for me, you know, the hardest part about having a business fail or that, that it was the dream collapse. And I didn't know what success looked like to me anymore. And so for my entire life from the age of 12, you know, it was this, and then that gets taken away from you. And it's like, well, what now? And so that was the hardest part. It wasn't about doing shitty jobs. That's no big deal. You said something interesting about it being your dream since you were 12 earlier. You said like, oh, my childhood at home, it wasn't that great.

It was a little rough. And so for some reason, the gym always felt safe. Is that something that you're willing to talk about at all? Or is that a personal thing? What was it it in your house that, you know, kind of drove you to that? Yeah, my mom was, my mom is, I have an amazing relationship with my mom, love my mom, but she hasn't always picked the best men. And so, you know, I've had three stepfathers. And so, you know, growing up, you know, the first stepfather, I don't really remember because I blocked that out. It was before the age of, I guess it was, I don't know, growing up, you know, the first stepfather, I don't really remember because I blocked that out.

It was before the age of, I guess it was, I don't know, probably fifth grade. And then after that, I had a pretty emotionally abusive stepfather and situation until I left for college. And so, you know, it was just, it was, it was just really uncomfortable being home. And, and, and so, you know, I took every excuse I could to go to the gym. That was what I asked for a gym membership when I was 12. Uh, that's what I asked for, for Christmas. And so, um, you know, it was, yeah, just the really kind of shitty home life. And so that was not fun, but you, you, it is what it is.

You think that's kind of in a way though kind of played into turning you into the grab them by the balls go get them kind of entrepreneurial mindset like because i know you were into bodybuilding that kind of thing like i feel like when you have that kind of trauma as a kid you can either you know get crushed by it as some people do or yeah be forged by it and be like all right i gotta seize this shit yeah no i no, I mean, I think I was, I was pretty fucked up for a while. Like I, until I, I guess I was about 20, what happened for me and what was really the most detrimental thing is that I lost my ability to sort of stand up for myself. I was so focused and I wanted to be, I didn't want to move. I didn't want to lose my

friends like I had before. And so I would always just keep my mouth shut. And so my fear, and it was a little kid being illogical, like, hey, if I stand up for myself and speak my mind, my mom's going to get another divorce and I'm going to have to find another school and all that. And so for me, I lost the ability to stand up for myself. And so that was the most detrimental thing lost the ability to stand up for myself. And so that was the most detrimental thing that happened as a result of growing up in that situation. And like, until I was 20, I guess it was 20 or 21. I was, I was, I started a nutrition store with a gentleman and he was taking advantage of me, not, you know, sexually or anything,

anything fun like that. But, you know, I just,, but I couldn't stand up for myself. And so I sought therapy and was like, I need to get this figured out. And so I'm a big fan of sort of self-exploration and figuring shit out if you can't deal with it yourself. And so that was really the catalyst to me. And the other thing is that catalyst to, to me. And, and, and the other thing is that, that, that was also before the nutrition store or before the fitness center, you know, I actually left that business that I started with this guy, just because I knew that, that I couldn't stay in that situation with this guy that was treating me like shit. I guess that's kind of another running theme is that I had these relationships with these men for a lot of my life that was

really sort of detrimental. And so, you know, I left there and started personal training at a fitness center before I met somebody and we ended up opening the fitness center. So. Okay. Yeah, that's interesting. So having gained that weight and lost it and then your background with the nutrition stuff and the bodybuilding and everything, let's talk about diet. What do you eat? Yeah. What do I eat? Yeah.

You know, I eat the same shit every day. I am a creature of if it ain't broke, don't fix it. I eat, you know, breakfast I'm typically eating oatmeal with a scoop of chocolate protein and some type of fruit or vegetable. And a lot of times, like, I'll eat egg whites for lunch. I'll do, you know, some type of lean meat with some type of grain, usually like quinoa or wheat berries or barley, something of that effect. And typically, I'll do the same thing for dinner. And so it's terrible. That's terrible. That's what a roller coaster.

How many pounds of cheese do you eat a day? How do you eat all that barley without packing it all? Yeah, exactly. It's a good thing you can't smell me here. Do you go for any, I mean, I don't want to call them like the pop diets but like of course like different diets go in and out of vogue and right now the big things like paleo or keto like do you get into those kind of things or do you just more like no just everything in moderation just be everything in moderation you know it's everything and nothing's new all these diets the

keto diet and all that stuff it's it's been around for years. They just come in, like you were saying, in and out of fashion. The Atkins diet was a keto diet, basically. Paleo and all this, it's just... It's more of a remarketing effort by certain companies. It is. No, it comes in, it goes out, they change the name, and people act like they discovered fitness and diet. And so, no, it's annoying, honestly, because everybody's Facebook friends are just talking about whenever somebody gets on a new workout or a new diet plan, it's like, I'm doing this, I'm doing that. As a personal trainer, have you ever worked with someone who was obese? Like help someone who was super, super overweight, get back into shape? Yeah. Well, the, the, the, my business partner for the fitness center was actually a woman I helped lose a hundred pounds and she was an older woman. She was, I think like 40, 42 at the time.

And, and, and I met her at the nutrition store, sort of helped her. This was back. Do you guys remember Bill Phillips, like the body for life? It was sort of like the, where everybody was holding like a newspaper and three months later, they're holding another newspaper and it's like, oh my God, it's a transfer. That was back when that was popular. And so, so yeah, so I helped her lose a hundred pounds and she came to me one day and was like, Hey, I want to help other people do what you helped me with. And I got certified as a personal trainer.

And so that's how that kind of happened. But, yeah, lots of people that were definitely. Are there more examples in your memory of working with fat people who, like, didn't make it through? Most of them. Or did you feel like most of them? Like, what's that success rate like? I'm curious, like, because I've never gone to an actual- It's terrible. It's terrible. I mean, success rate for somebody who's obese, who has to totally change every aspect of their life and

adopt all new habits, it's terrible. It's probably 1% of the people that actually have a serious problem. It's not know, hey, I'm 20 pounds overweight or I'm 30 pounds overweight. When you're talking about like obesity, there's a lot of stuff going on. And so it takes, I mean, it takes a complete, you know, change of everything in your mind in order to make something stick.

And the reality is that most people, like even the people on that show, like the biggest loser, most of them, you see them a year later and they're 50 pounds fatter than they were when they went on the first time. And they lost, you know, 300 pounds. It's when they lose that structure, when they lose that, you know, the fact that TV cameras aren't in your face and you really are just now doing it for you, it tends to. And the other thing, sorry, and I'll change,

is like gastric bypass. After a year of gastric bypass, your body learns how to absorb nutrients again. And unless you're able to sort of change the way that your relationship with food and the way that you're eating, you're going to gain all the weight back that you did about a year, two years after having like a gastric bypass surgery. And so, you know, the cards are stacked against you. Yeah. I think that you've got to, you probably need some therapy. Oh no. Did you enjoy food? Like it's, it's not like those people just like ice cream more than the rest of us do, right? There's, there's something wrong, not just with their body, but, you know, mentally.

I feel like you need therapy to go along with the treadmill or the diet. Yeah, like, I feel like they just happen to choose food, but those people are the same people. If they had slightly different inclinations, they would be, like, a severe alcoholic, or they'd be a heroin addict, or they would smoke five packs of cigarettes a day or something ridiculous.

Like, it's just food is the one they fixate on. You were saying their brain chemistry from it. When you get that fat with that amount of adipose tissue or whatever, it's all kind of those different kinds and it's all over you. It changes your endocrine system, so your hormones are just fucked. So if you get heavy enough and you stay heavy long enough, you will just stop making testosterone. That's awful.

And then you've made a huge mountain for yourself to climb back down. That would be a rough one. I'd rather be like a coke head than morbidly obese. Because at least then when you finally kick the cocaine habit, it's not like, all right, now at least two, three times a day for the next all of my life i need to do a little bit of cocaine reasonable amount of cocaine whereas like food you're gonna have to eat you have to eat get that crackhead six-pack going on good skinny fat little punch belly from the 200 calories of nonsense that's not bad, I was asking my gaming buddies the other day one of those would you rather questions,

and I asked, would you rather be 400 pounds or a very handsome midget? And they really had to think about it. Oh, that's good. They were like, how handsome? I'm like, you blow Peter Dinklage out of the water. You are getting all of the little person pussy and some big people pussy. You're getting acting roles.

Wait, am I rich in this scenario? Because that helps a lot. Well, you have to earn that yourself. You start on a level playing field with everyone. Well, not quite. But financially, you know, you're born into this world a little person, and it's up to you to get to the top.

And honestly, I think that there aren't that many little people actors, but there are so many roles for them, especially if you're good-looking. Because not to be too racist... That's not a race. I don't know what the... No, dwarf is a race. Dwarf is a... They're all race. Orcs.

Orcs? Dwarf, orcs, elves, they're races. Kyle, come on. Don't question my Dungeons & Dragons knowledge. You know, a lot of little people seem to have those sausage fingers and they're all disproportionate. No, you are a proportional

little person. Very good looking. I almost look freakier. No, you're going to look freakier. You're going to look like a little homunculus. You've seen Peter Dinklage's legs, right? They're a little weird, right? He's got enormous calves. His thighs are this big.

You have to walk with that gait like this more because your legs aren't as long. See, my answer is going to be the 400-pound guy because I can work and I can lose that weight. I cannot will myself to grow. Let me add this as a caveat. As a little person, I don't know how little they get. You're three feet tall,

but you've got an eight-inch penis. Is three feet a normal dwarf height or a not normal? You've got a picture of an eight eight inch penis on a three foot tall person That's like a leg. How long is a leg in this penis? I don't care. I'm still a dwarf I don't want it your legs 16 inches this thing is literally to be Yeah, you can't wear sure to get a ton of dwarf pussy, but you're gonna get many dwarves

Do you see walking about i can't remember the last time i saw a dwarf you're this is this is where i caught my conversation with my gaming buddies led i was like you know i i see 400 pounders every single you go to walmart you go to target wherever you go out into the world i'm in the south you'll see a dozen people i went today and got my tires changed it It took a couple hours. I saw several enormous people. Not one dwarf. I have only seen one little person in the

wild if you will in my entire life. Just one. Because I remember at the time we were in Orlando, Florida. We were at Emeril Lagasse's restaurant there and I was like little person. That's not actually what I said. I went, midget! Why is nobody keeping tabs on what these

people are up to? Collars on them? Tracking them? No, just kind of keeping tabs. No, you tag them, Kyle. You call yourself a farmer. Like it's a cocker spaniel? I don't know how that's racist. You brand them, Kyle.

That's how you track them. Oh, my God. But I'm being serious. What percentage of people are midgets or dwarves or little people? Include all the different flavors of it in there. Like the total number. Is it like half a percent? A quarter of the world?

A lot of them make their living as actors. Chiz is saying there's only 200,000 cases of dwarfism per year. You're saying globally? That seems like more than I expected. No, that seems way less. Think about it. Seven and a half billion people, only 200,000 cases a year? There aren't 700 billion people born a year.

That's the collective total. But those people are all fucking. Yeah, all those... How many people are born a year that's the collective total yeah but but those people are fucking yeah all those like of how many people are born a year uh that's an interesting question how does that we really wanted a percentage here chis like what percentage of births are are are are tiny now i and also i i don't know this are you telling me you would honestly pick to be the dwarf yeah i picked to be the dwarf because and, I'd pick to be the dwarf. Because, and hey, some of the stuff you just said factored into that decision.

The whole endocrine system, the whole my testosterone levels are low. Like, we're not talking about, boom, you're a 400-pound man, but with your current brain chemistry and your current, like, get up and go. No, you're depressed. Your brain chemistry's all messed up.

Your hormones are all messed up. You're in a pit of despair, right? start this day the day that i wake up magically in a big you know fat planet body i can look around and be like all right let's let's get this going you know let's stop eating and then you just you can already you can take a step when you wake up the first day as a dwarf you can't be like all, time to go to get platform shoes. No, you're not going to fool anyone or anything. Even if you have a giant dwarf dick. You're never recovering from the 400-pound thing, though.

Because your skin is going to be weird. After you lose that weight and you get the surgery to remove your skin, all of a sudden your nipples are at the base of your ribcage or something weird is a thing. You've got a squirrel suit on all the time. Just fly. But you can jump from tree to tree. You can do that now where they just will lop off all the extra skin.

It doesn't look right. You've got big scars. You can save my nipples somewhere else and then just reattach it in the correct area. Or however they would do it. It won't look right. Yeah, but you know what? In a shirt, people will be able to tell that I'm not wearing it. No, no, no.

If I was that big, I lost all the weight, I had the extra skin, I would have them craft it into a kangaroo pouch that I could store things in. I want them to fold it up and sew it to me and make a pouch. What if you use it as for lampshades around the house? Cargo stomach.

That's classy. Oh, use it to make the skin on a pillow, but never tell anybody what it's made out of, until eventually you just gross everybody the fuck out. Until they compliment it three times. They're like, it's just so fucking soft. How can I get one of these? They're rubbing their fates all over it.

They're smelling it. Why did they put a belly button on this pillow? Stretch marks all over it. No, I would prefer to be the little person. I think I would definitely go into acting classes right away. They're going to make plenty of Lord of the Rings seasons, right? I'm getting right into that. The guy that they picked to play the dwarf in Lord of the Rings

was a normal sized man. He was the tallest guy in the whole cast. I can be a hobbit though. Those are also normal sized. I know that, but they can save on special effects here.

Next Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Are you sure some of the lesser hobbits are midgets? You can't hold it right. Next Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Boom. Are you sure some of the lesser hobbits are... No, your little dwarf hands fumbling with the fucking ring. You can't hold it right. It's going to take you six movies to get to Mordor. It'd be a lot more hiking. Look, if you make me a little person

with a dick that literally hangs down to my dwarf knee, I feel like i always wear shorts they're just a little bit too short right like like everybody's like what what is that oh all right in prison for exposing yourself in public they don't arrest dwarves there are there are no dwarves in prison like like that's a statistic want to look at. How many dwarves are in prison? I feel like you could do almost anything. That's like a TLC special, like world's most dangerous dwarves. I'll tat it up like a little dagger in each hand.

Gold teeth. That doesn't exist. Wait, did we all give our answers? I will not be the midget. I will be the 400-pound gentleman. Kyle, you will be the dwarf or little person yes woody i'm gonna go with the dwarf i feel like there's less of a stigma oh you know like you guys yeah i feel like if you're a 400 pound man people are judging you hard if you're

a dwarf it's not your fault yeah yeah i mean you can't blame them you did that to yourself they're like wow can he owns his own business. Like, well, yeah, of course he does. It's not like he owns a business where he has to, like, do physical stuff. He's just doing paperwork and applying for loans and shit. He's a manager. Like, you're being dwarfist right now. On Halloween, all the candy is, like, the full-size version.

Halloween, all the candy is like the full-size version. Imagine having to climb up onto public toilets, though, Kyle. That's something you've never had to do. Think about the little things that you didn't. Oh, and I forgot. I didn't get to Aaron. What are you thinking? I'd go with dwarf.

Yeah. Of all people who could recover from this situation, you'd do 10% done it. Too intense, man. No, that's absolutely right. Yeah, I would definitely be a dwarf. I'd go into porn, for sure. I would be... Oh, yeah.

I would be... First, I would... You're really fixated on the dick aspect of this. He is way too important on that dick. The crux of this is that he's a dwarf. It's not important at all. Oh, really? Okay, well, you'll keep a proportional-sized penis.

You'll have a two-inch long penis. You're going to have a micro-dick on your micro-body. I didn't know there was a punishment for this. Nobody's going to ever see it. This dick is way overvalued. Wait till you see my snow-white and the seven-inch dwarves fucking porno. And you're going to ever see it. Big Pig is way overvalued. Yeah, wait till you see my Snow White and the 7-inch dwarves fucking porno. And you're going to be like, that was a good idea.

I'm going to be like, that was 8-inch. We just specified it and did the deal. Well, you've got to make the – we'll work on the title. I hear you. Casting Snow White is the important part. Who would it be? Sasha Gray coming out of retirement? No, you need somebody...

Man, now I'm really fixated on all the little... I'm going through a day in my head of what I do and I'm thinking of all the things that I wouldn't be able to do if I was a dwarf. Can you drive a car? Yes. Do the police know that they're out there driving cars?

I think they have a hand throttle. They've got controls. They're people with no legs. Yeah, use a hand throttle. Press the button. Oh, yeah. Okay. Hand throttle.

Everything. All right, so there's this movie coming out with, I think, Matt Damon, maybe. I'm not positive. But the premise is that they can shrink people down to, like, six inches tall. They can shrink people down to like six inches tall. And the way it works is they've created this tiny little world, like a tiny town, a city, for all these people to get shrunk down and live into. It's called downsizing. Thank you, Chiz.

And the idea is that if you've got $200,000 in savings in the real world, you cash that in and they're like, this equates to $12 million in the little world because everything's cheaper, right? Like if you want a two liter of Coca-Cola or whatever, now it's just like two drops of Coca-Cola. So everything is easier to come by. So like your diamond ring, they just need a little chip of it to make your diamond ring in that world. I think the same applies in some ways to being a little person. Everything is more. Everything is twice as valuable to you as it once was. You need less food.

Everything. Your house can be tiny. That's fair, but everybody else isn't also a five inch tall person. You're being judged all the time not like oh you look at that guy choosing to be a dwarf like more just like oh okay well like you're you're immediately removed from most most people's uh dating pool immediately like it's gonna be much

harder to get a job yeah much harder to get a relationship like it's just it adds a layer of good luck 400 you know who's still in your dating pool no one you want uh oh you know how many fucking whales i can go out and see like if i was 400 pounds i could find another 400 pound gal i'm or i can wait till i'm in shape to understand the logistics of how a 400 pound man fucks a 400 pound woman i'm gonna need you to like really draw a diagram for me. Unless there's a hoist. You know that thing at SeaWorld where they move the killer whales around and it's in there? You're going to need one of those to lower

her down on top of you or something. No. No. There's no cranes in my bedroom. There's a lot of gear, but there's no crane. He'd need a heavy duty swing in there. He'd have to fortify that that gussing up the corners. My current sex swing only goes up to 300 pounds.

Then you can just walk around the rest of your life smelling farts. See if I care. I will be carried around by a person I pay, right? Because I'm going to be swimming. I'll get a hodor. That would be pimp. You'll save money on servants because you won't need four to carry you.

You'll just need one burly man holding a chair to walk around. I'm telling you, little person is the perfect answer. I want the audience to let us know what you think. Taylor, I was thinking more Baby Bjorn than an oversized man. I'm just on this dude's chest. And an oversized man. Oh, I'm just on this dude's chest, like, just hitting up all of the many... On Tinder, just killing it.

Killing it. I'm a rarity, right? I'm the best-looking little person on the planet with an enormous cock. I'm telling you, if you saw an 8-inch cock on a little person, it's going to be intimidating. Nobody wants to date a... A normal-sized woman be intimidating. Nobody wants to date a

normal-sized woman isn't gonna want to date a dwarf. Let me find a picture of Peter Deagle, which is why. Let me just... Oh, okay. If you're in Game of Thrones, then I guess. Okay, Chiz, look up what percentage of dwarves are in Game of Thrones. Is it zero?

Is he correct for like an actor? No, I'm not trying to be a hero. I don't want to come off like... Women love lazy eyes. Look at Forrest Whitaker's wife. No, he's an actor. Of course. I don't want to come off like a scumbag here,

but Peter Dinglech's wife is... She's not top-notch? I don't understand the head shake. Spell it out. It's because he's a dwarf. I mean, it's, you know... I can do as Peter Ticklish, I think.

I think he's done very well for himself. Oh, get off your high horse. I don't know if I have He would need a ladder to get on it. He is a dwarf. He was Peter Tickliffe. Of course he's done well. Find me another picture of a famous dwarf.

Danny DeVito doesn't count because he's a little too tall. Who has a... That's Tyrion fucking Lannister. He should have like a six foot three Swedish model or something. That to really... Come on. Well, he might still be on his first wife. You know?

If he were to hold full-on Trump, he'd upgrade a couple times. I can't leave her now. She'll get all that Lannister gold. She'll take half. Yeah, that's a strong point. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. I definitely want to be the little person.

I think that at first on Tinder, the girls will be like, ah, what's this? But you put it in your bio. You'd be like, hey, give me a chance here. I got something to show you. And then you'd send them the dick pic. And I'm telling you, when you're...

Hey, Samantha, what are you doing tonight? I'm meeting up with this mysterious dwarf. These are conversations that will not occur. Just on a separate topic, I'm showing the picture of Lannister and his wife on there and I'm using the Christmas background from last week. For the record, I intend to use this for 200 more episodes

just like I did the last big screen one. Yeah, I like it. Anyway. Just imagine the proportions of sitting there like you would be holding your you'd be holding it like this and then take it to the picture. Why? Why? It's the best part.

Tiz is right. They put no one under six foot in their Tinder bio. Yeah. How many bitches are you losing from this? That's literally the number one thing that you see on Tinder bios as far as requirements. I thought it was like a thing that

no no the way they do it is they'll say i'm five nine or whatever and i prefer taller guys you know or i'm five eight but i always wear five inch heels or something like like they'll do something like that and sometimes you'll just see like uh please be six foot or taller or please be five ten or taller or something. Yep. Yeah. So, Kyle, you have that knowledge in you, and the fact that you're still shilling for this dwarf fever cream.

It only goes to a point, though. All right. No woman wants a five-foot three man, but there are women who want a three-foot three man, okay? At a point, it tips back up. All right. You've got to think of all the all the advantages and and as a little person you would be aware of all the advantages right you would know the things you're capable of fisting right like like imagine that hands with your fingers dude you put my hand on a little person now i don't want to be that person all right if

there's a if there's a three foot tall man walking around with extra-large gloves, that's absurd. He looks like a... Yeah, that's when we got absurd. If he's got the hamburger helper mascot on the end of each of his wrists, that's absurd. You don't want that. He's got little person hands, little person everything. It's proportional, which is not usually the case, except for the penis, which is gargantuan for his size.

We get it with the penis. I have to keep coming back to the cock. You're really overvaluing the big penis thing. You are undervaluing the big penis thing, especially on that tiny body. How do you think women value the big penis thing? It's a discomfort. False. Cal, you are beating this midget stick

to death. Okay, enough about that. But I still can't stop thinking about stuff that I couldn't do. Even little things. Like I was saying, getting on a toilet in public. Kyle, that's going to be much harder. And you're going to have to actually use the...

Yeah, actually, you probably could play the... What are you going to do about it? Yeah, it's hard. Because it's like nobody wants to berate a little person. You know how really, really old men can grab women's asses and just be like, oh, sorry. That's just how it was in my day. As a little person, same thing. You get away with sexual assault. You get away with sexual assault.

You get away with being racist. You can do whatever you want. It's free game for you. Anything. You can just be yourself. You know what I mean? I'm not... Oh, Jesus.

You can go around and be a horrible racist. Grab a girl. I mean, you're going to... Hopefully, you're an ass man because you can't reach the dead. Do we need a new topic? Yeah, we can talk about fitness. Before we do change, you know, audience, please get the straw pole up. I think that I have Taylor on this.

I want to know how many of you would rather be this incredibly handsome, amazingly well-hung, proportional little person, or a 400 pound man. Let's call him, we didn't say how tall the man is. Let's say 6 feet, 400 pounds, and he's all fucked up with the brain chemistry, the endocrine system, his hormones are shot, making no testosterone. He can't see his penis. That's the case. Let let me know which would you prefer all right here's the topic it came from ask reddit but i found it a week or two ago when i was

interested let's read it perfectly what makes you secretly go yeah good luck with that right i'll give you the highest rated comment i have have this app idea. It would be like a popular app, but for other thing. I don't know programming, so I'll need someone to build it for me. And if you do that, we can split the ownership 50-50. I haven't checked the app store to see if 10 like it exists, but it's going to be huge.

That's the top rated, yeah. Good luck with that. Whenever a girl says she's going to be a model and she starts up, often what they'll do is they'll start off doing really amateur modeling stuff and then they often make this move to oh, I'm going to have my own modeling agency

and I'm going to have all these girls under me and people will pay me to get to my girls. I've seen that repeated so many times. I've dated so many girls who are like, do that and, and, and try to go in that direction. And at this point,

whenever they tell me that's what they do or what they're doing, I'm good luck with that. Sounds like a great idea. Mine is the YouTuber, the guy who has like some 250 subs, you know, more than zero, but not much. He's making videos maybe with no commentary, just some sort of video looking thing, you know, with music on the background saying he wants a YouTube channel. And it's Ellen, by the way, he's on his ninth video. It's like, yeah, good luck with that.

Because anyone here knows it starts off with like 18 months of unpaid work you know building stuff until you have an audience uh the i i've never done anything but i want to be a big time youtuber yeah yeah i'm gonna buy this i'm gonna buy that you know i'll have this microphone and then i'll get this camera it Do a thing. Do a thing. I don't want to hear about your plans. If you're making a YouTube channel about plans for shit you're going to do, it's going swimmingly, but do a thing.

When you put it that way, almost anyone who's talking about what they're going to do instead of what they're doing, good luck with that. Yeah, yeah. Do it. Aaron? Business. to do instead of what they're doing. Good luck with that. Yeah. Yeah. Do it. Aaron. Business. I, uh, I hear all these people, you know, when they, when they hear, you know, you're an entrepreneur that, that you're, you're doing whatever, everybody's like, ah, I've got this idea for a business and, uh, I'm going to, I'm going to do this and it's going

to be this. And, and it's, it's a whole lot of talk and, and they've never actually done anything. A lot of times, it's people that work in a nine-to-five type job. They've never been an entrepreneur. They've never worked for themselves, and they've never done anything, to be honest. They've all got great ideas, or they tell you what you should do. What would make your business or your career more successful? It's like, yeah. That nine to fiver, 80% of them think

that what's holding them back is no one's funded them. You know, if someone would just give me half a million dollars. I just need money. Yeah, and I could put all this into play and it would be great. None of them think about how they can get it done, how they could maybe start smaller, bootstrap their own thing. Like a lot of businesses can be started with almost nothing. If you have no money and tons of motivation, I will bet on you.

If you have, you know, whatever, this I would do it except that I need $150,000 to get it off the ground, I don't have any faith in you. No, you start small. You start small. If you're truly talented, then you can do whatever your big magic plan is at a much smaller scale. And it'll quickly balloon to the point where you need help doing it.

And you can hire people. And it's going to, then your dream is happening. There aren't too many jobs that you, there aren't too many jobs that you... There aren't too many ideas that you truly need that gigantic funding right now. We want to start a car company. Obviously, you need lots of... You need to own PayPal first.

That's an example. First step. Kickstarter campaign. Hey, it's not like he was just gifted PayPal, right? He created PayPal. Taylor, the topic is campaign yes but hey it's not like he was just gifted paypal right he created paypal taylor the topic is um what makes you secretly go yeah good luck with that like an idea someone has that you have no faith in oh i mean anything they're passionate about that doesn't harm me another example the second highest rated comment was having another child to save their marriage.

Yeah, good luck with that. That's bad. But the electric car idea, I like that. We can start a company, an electric car company called Edison, and we just bully Tesla. Ruthlessly. Steal their shit.

Pretend we invented it. And a hundred years from now, no one's going to remember Tesla. That's probably not true, because he's a major car brand now. He did make those coils. Anyway, I was just psyched to hear us not talking about midgets and dwarves anymore.

We're coming back to that. That's going to be a new mainstay. That's a perennial topic now. I have something more Aaron specific. I know one of the videos I watched you were showing your bodybuilding trophy, I guess it's like 2001 or so. Yeah. When you were doing that, like you said now, like your diet's pretty standard.

Like, kind of what was a day like when you were doing that? Like a morning to night kind of bodybuilding day. Was it like a hobby you were super intense into or was it like, no, this is my job. I'm a professional bodybuilder. No, no, no, no, no, no. It was just, you know, it was, it was, it was a hobby taken to the extreme. And, um, you know, and when, when you're competing, um, you know, in bodybuilding and things of that nature, I mean, life sucks. I mean, everything fucking sucks. You know, you, you, you don't socialize, you don't go out, you have a really super low sex drive. I mean, it's pretty brutal. And so, um, you know, I, I always would, would say to people, you know, yeah, you look incredible when

you do a show or you're up on stage, but you feel worse than you've ever felt in your life. And so, um, yeah, it's, it's just everything's so regimented and boring your food tastes like like just ass i mean it's it's terrible it's horrible like because it looks like performance it looks like that guy is like you know the whole thing like hey you might not like it but this is what peak performance looks like. Those bodybuilders look like they're perfect. They're the perfect specimens, right? I use this expression sometimes. Alien wants to come to Earth and get a perfect male specimen.

They might go to that contest and lift one. Instagram. Yeah, you make money on Instagram with it, probably. That's the thing that just kills me. I look at all these guys on Instagram, and I just wonder, they're making a living. They're doing something, but it's all based on their physique and their body, sort of like models or whatever, even porn stars, whatever. At some point, you're going to age out of it. You're not going to want to diet. You're not going to want to take care of yourself. What happens? It seems pretty

fragile, all of it. The reason I say that is it's just such a big business right now. This whole Instagram influencer based on looks and physiques and all that, it's crazy. My question is how much are they making? If they can do it for five years and set aside $3 million? Not that much. No? Come on. I don't know. I mean YouTubers do that.

Yeah. Not the fitness guys. Not the fitness guys. They don't get sponsorships. They're so niche. A lot of these super niche channels, they don't have opportunity. I mean what can a bodybuilder or somebody who's into fitness, what can they promote other than supplements, workout gears? You're asking me who their audience is, right?

I imagine guys are watching these channels. That's my guess. Movies, electronics, snack foods, maybe not snack foods. How do they integrate that into their content? That's the tough part without your audience, you know, freaking out and being like, ah, this is ridiculous. That's the, the smartest thing I ever did was, was transition away from just talking about style and talking more about like men's lifestyle. So I can talk about ball powder. I can talk about a car. I can

talk about, you know, pretty much anything as long as, you know, I can figure out a creative way to put it in, in the content. But a lot of these guys that that are like even gamers right you don't see a lot of these gamers doing like crazy you know promotions they're doing a lot of views they're they're getting a few you know sponsorships but and i'm sure that twitch is is a different situation but um you know it's the more niche you are the more trouble you're going to have monetizing it through advertising yeah there are some exceptions with the gamers and of course the games themselves have some opportunities to to advertise yeah nothing even close though to like what makeup girls for example get or what they do because they have always said like like if you're gonna be any youtuber It's makeup girl like like the to me. That's the ideal one. It's it's

They want your audience wants to see you integrate products. It's the whole fucking point How about the unboxing guys unbox therapy and all those? Kid of children's toys because then you just got child labor. You don't have to pay your partner right? They'll know any better They love it. What do you do for a living, Timmy? I get toys. I get toys. I get a $7 action figure, and he makes $30,000.

I get to keep the toy. It's great. I don't like unboxing videos. They're the worst to me. I like reviews. Those the worst to me. I like reviews. Those are valuable to me. I don't want to see you tell me how much you like a product until you've owned it for three or six months. That helps me.

If you're telling me about the packaging, it's the worst possible video. Oh, yeah. I don't want to watch somebody fiddle around with the zip ties that are holding it into plastic there as they're trying to get it with one hand. And it's like, put the camera down. You should have been prepared for this. Oh, where are my scissors? Oh, you couldn't get the one thing. You probably need.

It's a popular genre for sure. But I guess I'm just not the demo because I hate it with the passion of a fiery sun. It's just a way to vicariously open presents. Like you don't have that thing. And so you're watching somebody else open it what's your guilty pleasure on youtube what is like that show that you can't get enough of motorcycle crashes uh people being bitten and attacked by animals when they deserve it blessed living for life love to hate them oh my god what is it what is that i'm gonna i'm gonna try and get the name right oh an actual channel you're just saying that the actual channel yeah the actual channel i i never miss a freaking

video and i hate two-thirds of them uh i'm trying to get a pure living for life i think yeah that's what they're called all right so here's the here's the concept it's a husband and wife i'm gonna peg them at like 33 years old, something like that. They're an established couple. And the guy had a series of like semi-successful entrepreneurial jobs, you know, like steam cleaning carpets and whatever, organizing your shelves or something like that. And I don't know what the wife did. But they're like, look, we're not getting to where we want to be. And they both had like fairly new cars. And they're like like let's just

start over and play this game differently so they sold her nice new like subaru or something and bought this shitty honda that looked like it had just been in an accident uh he bought himself like a 1996 ford f-150 that looked like a landscaping crew turned it down and uh and then they start building themselves a timber frame house they have they're like handy people but certainly not construction experts by any means they're ambitious though and incredibly hard working so they just start they buy like a wood miser and chop down trees and start milling their own wood. They bought these, they're called forms, like ICE forms, I don't know. And you straighten them out, you pour concrete in the middle, and now you have the walls to your garage.

And it's insulated. And they're just doing it. What do you dislike about it? Because it seems like you like all this. I like what I've described so far. The thing is, two-thirds of their video are complete shit. What's awesome about this channel is they're like this incredibly hard-working couple who's decided to just play

life differently. You know what? The rules that everyone else is doing, like work for someone and toil away and have a car payment. These rules aren't working for us i want to do something different they finished their timber frame this is like the shell of the house like two months ago and for the last two months it's just been like bullshit videos like this is how i pour gas in the generator holy fuck that was a 25 minute video of pouring gas into a generator uh you know

like there was a three-part video series for a total of like 90 minutes on him getting the rust off a square um what is it called a builder's frame the right angle thing that oh my god square is it is it called a square edge straight yeah i don't know when i'm working i call it a square it's called a square i call it a square uh all right well you know everyone know it's like three feet by two feet that right angle uh thing i i have not a speed square anyway so he spent like three episodes almost 90 minutes getting rust off it and then trying to paint it and it didn't turn out right and this sounds terrible dude the sense i like the premise of it yeah a hard-working couple trying to reinvent their lives is amazing and then you just hate

two out of three videos because they're not doing that they're just like i like diy stuff especially if it's super like low tech. Like I linked you those videos. I don't know if you ever got into it. That guy who went up to Alaska and like built his own log cabin. I saw those. He didn't even bring handles for his metal tools because he was going to make handles for them all. It was like – it was incredible.

I love that. I watched every second of it. He's doing self-narration. He's like, oh, I guess we'll make a handle out of this nice little piece of wood. And he just starts chipping away at this branch until he's got a really nice axe handle. And he's like, now I have an axe. And it's just like every step of the way as he chisels and builds this log cabin.

And everything he does is just from the ground up. But I wouldn't want to see him, i don't know dig a hole for 30 minutes like sounds like they need an editor what what it is is for a while you think this is the hardest working couple on the planet you know they just work sunrise to sunset day after day making their dream advance and sometimes like okay i told you he poured the concrete wall he went there with an angle grinder trying to get the the surface of that concrete wall within like a 16th and it's like well i applaud your hard work but that is a total waste of time even the wood isn't milled within a 16th and it'll swell and and compact that much you you know, just like over the course of a day. You were, that wasn't time well spent.

But I forgive it because you didn't say you were an expert in home construction. You said you were going to try to live your life under a different set of rules. Okay. But I don't know. And also, this is something they do wrong that I've done too.

They're belligerent with their audience. Their audience is very upset with them because two-thirds of the videos are garbage. But they're also enamored with the dream, just like I am, of these people trying to change their lives. And they just write things like, you must be new around here. New people think they run the place. They don't run it. I run it. You'll watch the videos I put up.

And it's like, oh, wow. Yeah, you're new to this. That is very wrong. That's the opposite of how to handle this you know you should say you're gonna love tomorrow's video that would work or say nothing that would work too but to argue back and forth with why your customers are unhappy it he's gonna regret that he's gonna regret that you know soon he'll be on the other side. I really enjoy the motorcycle crashes because they never run out of content because motorcycles are fucking dangerous as shit.

It's fun to see the different levels of motorcycle crash. You've got the completely unprepared novice who's in jean shorts and a wife beater skidding down asphalt at 65 miles per hour getting road rash and losing a limb and then you got like the expert who's wearing leathers and he's got the arm the kevlar on and armor and he's got a great helmet and he just gets up after the most gruesome crash he's just like fuck fuck that was rough fuck oh and just clip after clip of them just fucking eating shit like the guys will stand up on the seat and try to hot dog and then get all squirrely and fall off and spin down the highway

i love that shit and it it all it keeps me from spending ten thousand dollars every time i get the impulse to be like i went over to a rack veterans house uh eric and he's got a collection of bikes really nice bikes he's got a he's got a bmw bike he's got a couple harle and he's got a collection of bikes, really nice bikes. He's got a BMW bike, he's got a couple of Harleys, he's got a Yamaha R1. I think that's his son's bike. But regardless, that's not a word, regardless, he's got a lot of nice bikes. And as I look at them, I'm like, man, I should get one. I should get one. And I'm looking at the Beamer and I'm like, I like this better than any of them because the seat is like brown leather and it sort of matches certain parts of it. And it's he cranks it up and it like torques every time he like revs it up.

It's fucking cool. And I went home, watched an hour worth of motorcycle crashes, and I was like, nope, not for me. So there's a subreddit. Not for me. So there's a subreddit. People who ride bikes in a totally irresponsible manner, wearing irresponsible clothing like the shorts and the T-shirt and maybe some flip-flops, they're called squids, right? So there are people who are proud to be squids.

The subreddit is called, how do you pronounce it, Calamari? Brain damaged. Calamari Race Team. That's the subreddit. And they're all like, oh, I got some new ink marks. And they're just like stitches and metal plates on their bones. They're posting pictures from their hospital beds about like, yeah, he'll fuck it off again. They completely own their irresponsible behavior in a most wonderful way.

And I'm part of that culture. Well, mostly as a viewer, right? Because I'm the act-out on the opposite side. All the gear all the time. But these guys, and I get a big kick out of them. They're like, check out my newest wheelie. And then three days later, like, check out my newest scar. You know, like, yeah.

People are, I guess electric bikes often have automatic transmissions or this honda i forget what their trailblazer i forget the name of it anyway they get the automatic transmission because their their feet and ankles are so fucked they can't shift anymore but they want to keep riding motorcycles so they're like yeah the best part about this electric bike i don't need a working left foot just to get a car like an adult i love their attitude about it like yeah you know like a body that that's done cool shit is not scar free right these are battle scars these are the yeah the reason i have plates in my arm or my leg or whatever is because i do things. And, I mean, while I don't want any more plates in my body,

I can see where they're coming from. But, Woody, that's the same argument that could be made about not wearing a visor in, like, men's league hockey, where it's like, yeah, you know, look at this. I used to have some teeth. People at work are going to look at me weird tomorrow. But it's like, yeah, that guy's got scars. He does stuff.

Whereas you could be like, oh, actually actually i was at the same game i played too i got all my teeth because i wear a cage i used to tell my teammates that didn't wear cages i'm like oh right right cages for good looking people you don't need one so i was talking to you guys about about like why the the nhl players didn't wear full like face gear and you guys oh well you know when you're when you're looking down at the puck you know you about why the NHL players didn't wear full face gear. And you guys, oh, well, you know, when you're looking down at the puck, you can get your teeth knocked out or whatever. But then I watched women's hockey.

They got a full fucking cage on. Why don't the men wear that same full? Women's hockey is way different because women's hockey, there's limited contact. You can't hit the same way. Really? women's hockey there's there's limited contact like uh you can't hit the same way uh puck the puck is going much much slower because it uh just the nature of it um the the speed that they're getting to is much slower than like an nhl player like barreling towards you the mass of the person hitting you like it's a like apples and oranges in the nhl you can only wear a full cage if you're recently injured right i believe so yeah yeah because like it's never been in the nhl it's never been a thing throughout history of like hey you guys got to wear these safety devices now it's always throughout the

years been the the league more or less being like hey you start wearing masks okay you got to wear something and the players are like hey you know I've been playing since before you were born. You can't tell me to put that on like all right What we're gonna do here is we'll grandfather you in and so There were players there was a dude the last guy who got to grandfathered in tonight Yeah, like to not wear a helmet was just this one dude skating around in the fucking 80s with no helmet on. And he's just like, why would you not? He may have. But it was like, why are you not wearing a mask? Like, everybody else is wearing one.

And this hoser is skating around without a bucket on. Not a mask, a helmet. Yeah, no helmet. Everyone had a helmet except for McTavish, who, by the way, had an amazingly fast slap shot. And he was good. And he just didn't feel like he needed a helmet and fuck yeah now i don't sir that our masks you didn't see that in baseball as soon as they were like hey hey you guys want some helmets everybody was like yeah absolutely

i don't want to be like chuckles over there the bat boy who got who ate one in the forehead last year he's ever done I'm with the baseball. So when I first played hockey, I didn't have a mask at all, right? And then I played at a facility that required one. So I was like, all right, I guess I'll throw one on my helmet, et cetera. When I moved and didn't have one required to me anymore,

I realized I couldn't play as well. You know, like I was less inclined to stand in front of a shot. If for some reason I was on my knees, like trying to dig a puck out, I was less inclined to stand in front of a shot. If for some reason I was on my knees trying to dig a puck out, I was worried about my face, because you would be, right? On your knees with the pucks and the sticks and everything. But with

a cage on, I could focus on the game. I could stand in front of a shot. I can worry about the puck and not my safety. And I'm like, man, if this is making me a worse player, and it's more dangerous, there's no winning here. Exactly. Yeah, if you're a casual player, there's more dangerous there's no winning here so exactly yeah if you're a casual player there's no reason for it that picture i linked of that's either jacques plant or terry i think it's jacques plant one of the first goalies to wear a mask it's done

because like that's what a goal because uh catchers had been using masks in baseball for decades before they're like you know these guys trying to stop the puck should probably be wearing something you know like like this, he got so damaged in the face that like he told his coach, he was like a French dude. He's like, frankly, I do not feel very safe out there. You know, I'm going to wear this mask. And his coach was like, you can wear the mask one game and then it comes right back off

because I don't think you can see the puck as well. And he played well that one game. And the coach was is like I'm still Not sold. I'll give you another game. I guess he's like it's amazing How much better I can stop it when I'm not terrified of breaking an orbital bone, you know The fucking terror like I I'm not passionate enough about anything to Just to sustain that kind of disfigurement. Maybe I'm just too vain. Maybe this guy wasn't very

attractive before he became Frankenstein's monster. Imagine, and when you get popped in the face by a puck like that, nobody was even like, oh man, is he alright? Everybody would cheer. Like, hooray! He stopped the puck!

You're like, I was getting tired of studying food anyway. like, hooray! He stopped the puck! And you're like, I was getting tired of studying food anyway. You know? You're chanting blood on the ice while you crawl for safety. Like, no, that's fucked. Now, here's a question, Taylor. Would you

trade your occupation and your face to be an NHL goalie who looks like that. If you're a midget. No. You get the – But you got a huge penis.

What's the genitals? You don't even need – I think it's my dick in this scenario. Kyle, I can't go any further until all these little details are ironed out. Okay, go. What color is my hair? Red. I mean, if it is in the era he played in.

No, today. Oh, today. Here's the thing. You're going to be the starting goalie for the Blues, but you look like this guy. You have his battle scars on your face. Oh, for sure. For sure I'd do it.

Yeah. Yeah. I got cuts, scars all over my face. But I'm a professional athlete. It's not like I'm a back alley knife fighter that sustained these injuries. Back alley knife fighters look better than this. But you can recover from that a lot. Some of those scars are fresh. so they're going to fade.

And some of them need to be fixed. I can see that. But you can fix them. You can. I would definitely do it. Think of how much money you make. Putty? No, they actually cut the scar out and then sew it up professionally.

Did you show the audience the picture of this man? They're looking at it right now. Good. I want you guys to vote on just how crazy Taylor is right now. Forget the question. I feel like Kyle's vanity is playing a huge role. Like, yo, who can't have facial

scars? This guy will still get pussy. He's rich and famous. Yes, he's a professional athlete, and he got his scars from playing a professional sport, and so already it... He looks like a villain from Sin City! Yeah, and I'm gonna pull a ton of pussy as

Mr. Villain who plays for the Blues in St. Louis. I would get twice the pussy that you would get as the Blues goalie that looks like this as a midget with an 8-inch cock. I mean, you can't just assert things like that i i just did

fuck you're right oh i disagree you know i would because i you because you know you would do you'd be in your you know fucking smart car with your little dial to accelerate and whatnot and i'm gonna be rolling all scarred and everything a lot of scar tissue but that's all right in like a maserati right down the road. Or a Lamborghini, whatever. None of these Italian cars are getting you to the end of this road. Yeah. You're kind of screwed.

I'm going to be at a Fiat. And you're going to be looking around with your one good eye. Trying to get a jump. No, I would definitely do better than you. Because I'm a professional athlete in this scenario. He's an actor, probably. I'm an actor. But you're...

I'm fucking Frodo or something. But you're a dwarf. But think about my dick. Think about this dwarf dick. All right, I played out everything we were going to say. You act like the penis isn't important if you're going to live life as a dwarf. It's very important.

Who cares? They have normal-sized a dwarf. It's very important. Who cares? They have normal-sized penises. Dwarves care. Thank you. Normal for what? Their bodies are kind of normal-sized in the middle. Yeah, dwarves. The thing with dwarves is they're different than stock little people

because dwarves have regular-sized heads, like an adult human normal sized head. But midgets, or little people, have little heads. So they're not in that same proportion. Peter Dinklage is a dwarf. I haven't seen enough little person dick to co-sign on this. So we're just going to... To our little person audience, show us your dicks.

I'm googling it. I already did. All I found was this black midget railing this white chick in the ass. I don't want to watch any kind of porn that has a midget in it. Wait, wait, wait.

I need the floor for a moment. On paper, the idea that we dwarves have teeny weeny weenies makes sense. After all, every other part of us is tiny. But no, we are just as stacked as any of you. In many cases, even more so. See, in my form of dwarfism called Anconda Droplasia, something close to that, it involves a lot of the cartilage in my body

failing to do what the good lord intended it to do, become bone. So in my kind, I wind up with short arms, short legs, stubby fingers and toes, and a fun-sized version of everything else that contains actual bone. That's why we dwarves typically have a pot belly. No matter how much our CrossFit trainer screams at us, our ribs just can't hold our lungs and everything else. Boners, though, funnily enough, have no bone. Penis is a bunch of tissue. And a dwarf's body has no problem growing tissue. This results in a dick that, quite frankly, looks like any other. Our average size is

five to six inches, just like taller guys. The only difference is, ours are on small frames and thus look way more impressive. Okay. Okay. This is believable because it's coming from a midget with a huge dick. Yeah, everybody knows this guy. He even quotes it. Hey, yeah, sorry about messing up your bones and dealing with a

lifetime of repeatedly explaining that no, you don't want a happy meal. However, there's an optical illusion that makes your dick look giant. Wow, that guy's got a huge... Oh, no, he's three feet tall. Shit. Well, that disfigured goalie is just... That's just too ugly for...

I don't want to be that guy. How much do goalies make in the NHL? A starting goalie? It depends. Top 20%. Like, Carey Price, goalies make in the NHL? A starting goalie? It depends on how good they are. Yeah, what's the deal with starting goalies? Top 20%.

Like, Carey Price, I think he makes like $10 or $11 million a year. Really? That's impressive. But that's towards the high end, right? He's on the high end. Like, I think the Blues starting goalie right now makes like $5, maybe $6 million. I had no idea. It just seems like it's such a shit sport, you know? I figured those guys were making $30, $40.

Well, it's no NASCAR. Sorry to tell you. Dude, first of all, I don't like NASCAR. To be fair, I don't like it. Thanks, Woody. But NASCAR is a much bigger sport, right? You know? It's a much bigger sport.

Is it? I wonder how much the 12th best NASCAR driver makes. Woody, do you notice this too? Because I have friends who are big soccer fans, and they like to do the whole hockey joke thing of like, oh, how many people are watching this? Like three dozen? And it's always like, oh, it doesn't really matter.

Like enough. Like I enjoy the sport. You know, they never come at hockey saying that it's not fun or that it's pussy or that it's stupid like that. It's always, oh, there's nobody fucking watching this. Yeah, go hang out with the other 1.1 billion people watching a lot of very frequently injured

men run across the field. Like, that's fine. I've watched soccer games before. It's not boring. It's good enough. It's just a little too slow. But, I don't know, I always notice that. The thing they come at with is oh not enough people are watching why don't they change hockey i'm sorry why don't they change soccer to be higher scoring i'm a non-soccer fan and i get that this would be sacrilege to

people who think the game is perfect as it is but i swear yeah there are too many zero zero ties and i think you guys know that and i think that you know when a game is two to one that's not quite right how cool would it be if it was 2-1 in the first half and you knew that other team had a real shot of winning like 4-2? Like that would be neat. And that happens in hockey all the time. And again, sacrilege coming from someone who knows very little about the sport, never played it or anything.

But why don't we make the field smaller right like if this goes closer to each other so the action is more there's less of that kicking the ball all the way across the field and then everybody runs to the other end and back like it seems like there's a lot of just hustling back and forth and the ball being kicked really far instead of it seems like if the field were closer together yeah if the goals were closer checking. I also don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Yeah, put it on ice. Absolutely add checking. Put some sticks in there.

Get rid of that big ball. I think a small piece of vulcanized rubber, you know? Well, before you know it, we're going to be having a blast. That's our sport, right? What's that sport called? Lacrosse. Lacrosse. Yeah, I'm from a poor high school.

We didn't have that shit, right? I don't think most high schools have a lacrosse team. We didn't. Fuck, I forgot where I was going. Basketball. I was watching basketball the other day. People are either hockey fans or basketball fans for the most part because it happens at the exact same time

every year so you can't really follow both unless you're a no- lifer sports fanatic and like it was entertaining i watched it but like there was a clip where it was like uh it was on reddit and this was after i'd watched the game with some friends and it was like look at this like nobody can miss it was like one team went over three pointer the other team goes over scores and then like six seven times in a row like quick succession like boom boom and at first it's like man this is like that's really impressive that takes a lot of skill to sink those shots under pressure like that it definitely does there's no there's no questioning that but then after like the fifth score or sixth one in a row i'm like

where i'm really trying to recognize this where the fuck is the defense is there defense here like i it seems like anytime you get in someone's way they call a foul and then you get a free shot it's like i i don't know i think they need a little more physicality in basketball like you should be able to do a little more shoving maybe it's like not not throwing bows or anything and trampolines just to throw a counter argument i'm not a basketball genius but the basketball has less physicality than hockey, undeniable. But basketball's evolved into an air game with, like, they fly under the net. And then alley-oop, not alley-oop, but, like, you do these reverse layups.

And, like, amazing athletic feats have happened in basketball. Where I'd say in hockey, it's evolving much more slowly. And I think it's because of the physicality these players in practice can do 360 spins passing off their own skate to themselves like they have a grip on this puck that I could only dream of but they can't do it in a game because someone will just check them off their feet so it's the reason hockey looks a lot like it did 15 years ago, just faster, because they get hit. Yeah, you can't be cheeky. I got to say, I know I'm in the minority here amongst not just this group,

but all of our listeners and everything. I don't have the patience for any of the major sports. I really like UFC because I know when I sit down that in the next 15 minutes some shit's going down. And at any second that man could die. I mean, it's possible. It doesn't happen. But it hasn't happened yet.

But it could. Yeah, I mean, occasionally people fucking die. No, I like the UFC. You know, UFC's good. I used to be a hockey fan when the Thrashers were in Atlanta.

Both times they were in Atlanta? Yeah, exactly. I like college football. It's easy too this time of year. Yeah, exactly. College football and UFC for my television spectator sport. I've never been to a baseball or basketball game, so. Are you a UGA fan or

Georgia Tech? West Virginia. Oh, come on. Exactly. There's room on the bandwagon. Yeah, yeah. Like one game into the season, maybe two, I was like, all right, bandwagon time. Let's go UGA. And like I picked a good year to hop on the bandwagon. Yeah, good year. I'm here in Georgia too. Where in Georgia? Northeast Georgia, really close to South Carolina,

but I'm moving into the city tomorrow. I'll be in Atlanta tomorrow. So you have your place picked out? Did you get an apartment? A townhouse? Where are you going? Without doxing yourself. A house. Okay. So it's a single family home?

Multiple rooms. Walls, ceilings, the whole bit. I'll be in a house. Three bedroom. How many little people can fit in your house? Well, white ones or...

I don't know where we're going with that one. That's a weird place to get racist. They're already all little people. If you were having a little person party, would you be like, this is a Gentile party

for Gentiles or whatever? I would love to go to a little party. Do you think that like, I don't know. I'd love to know more about little people because they're so rare. But I'm sure they've got their own little society and their own little quirks and stuff. There are 18 shows on TLC. I watched a show on TLC about little people. Yeah, TLC has tons of little people shows.

I forget the name of it. But anyway, the dad is a little person. I think the mom is too. And like two out of the three kids are. So anyway, the one kid in school, of course, doesn't have a lot of tail or anything. He's just a regular little person, whatever. But annually, they go a regular little person whatever but annually they

go to like a little person convention and his older brother is explaining this like you know what like in high school like he doesn't really have any girlfriends or whatever but at this event at this event he is a king at this event he will have dozens of women wanting to hang out with him like he like there's all these other little people little people, and he's a peer there, and suddenly he's slaying it. Now, I think he's young to actually slay it, but it's exciting for him because suddenly there are girls by the dozen, one on each arm for him, and it's his Disney World.

It's cool. Until a normal-sized man walks in. That was my question, right? Wouldn't you love to crash that? Hey, hey, hey. Oh no, you ruined his year. All year long he waits for the convention where the girls like him. And then Taylor shows up with low standards.

Show up in a Santa costume. I thought you should be working. Oh no, I don't think that would get me late, actually. That would be a bad maneuver. I want to know, would you, as a normal-sized man, do well at the little person convention, or would they not be into you? Are they looking for other little people?

I have no idea. Is a little lady, if if you will looking for another little fella or would she prefer a a full-sized uh version right like like if if i went for example to the you know this little world whatever wherever it is fairyland wherever this is this this is get together is this bullshit and that that I guess it exists. I want to know where now. Cheers. Please do the research and find out where this is. Because I want to have sex with a midget.

Next TKA trip, we'll crash a little person's ball. We know that midget penises are proportional. Are midget vaginas? They're not proportional. The vaginas are not. No, the midget penises. You said they were proportional and you had it backwards. Forgive, the midget penises. You said they were proportional and you had it backwards.

Ah, forgive me. Yes, normal-sized penises. But do they have normal-sized vaginas? Sure. Well, along the theory that it's just bones that are impacted, then they would have normal-sized vaginas. But they're pelvis, right? And, you know, everything is... That chick from the show we're talking about gave birth three times.

Yeah, but she gave birth to little people. But not every time. Are the babies little? I was going to ask this earlier. I'm just going to say midget. To the one midget out there listening who's offended, go find another show.

You're just one person. We don't care. And you're actually only half a person. You're only kept for half of you. So are midget babies. Jesus Christ. Right? As mean as possible.

I'm just kidding, little fella. The most vulnerable among us. Little tyke. He's 38. Tyke. Getting a happy meal. How much does a midget baby weigh? It is my real question. I weighed 8 pounds, right? Like 8 pounds and 15 ounces or some shit like that.

Really? That's exactly how much I weighed. Really? Ah, shit. 15 ounces. Yeah, but 4 pounds was head. Yeah. You just kept falling over for the first 8 months. Because his head's so big.

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Big fan of Squarespace. We're all big fans. All right. Back to midgets. Are the babies normal sized? I looked it up. It turns out all big fans. All right, back to midgets. Are the babies full size? Normal size. I looked it up. It turns out that the size of a baby is mostly

related to the nutrition it receives in the womb. Therefore, little people babies are the same size. It's only until they're born and their inability to grow bones kicks in that they become a different size. But can you tell

right away, like, when it comes out, like, that this is gonna be a little fella? I'm guessing you can. Well, when the mom and the dad are both little people, I think that you have an inkling. Well, I think you definitely know. That's like, you know, I mean... I mean, some... This sounds awful, but

some part of that little dwarf kid whose parents are both dwarves, like, you have to, like, look at them all the time and be like, what the fuck were you thinking? Of course I came out a little person. Like, you're making me go through a whole bunch of shit. Like, if you rank the difficulty of living with different disabilities or whatever, that's got to be up there. Nothing is made your size at all. Like, if you watch the reverse of that, where, like, it was some dude in, like, Ukraine, where weird people like that come from, like, Eastern Europe.

It was some dude who was, like, 8'1", or something. And it's, like, at first you hear, like, oh, 8'1". Like, that guy's probably, like, a beast, like, just, like, lumbering just like lumbering around and then you see him and he's like he has to have like canes because his bones he's pilfered all the bone growth from that poor family and he has to walk around like that and they interview him and first of all the guy's voice is so deep that it's like unnerving you know it's more just like like the low rumble of an idling car than it is like a human voice and like they just ask like so what's what's it like is it anyble of an idling car than it is like a human voice. And they just ask like, so what's it like? Is any part of it

fun? It's like, no. Nothing is made for me. I don't fit anywhere. Oh, that's sad. It's like, oh, this poor dude. He's in a permanent hunch because he can't stand up anywhere.

Alright, so that's an easy decision, right? Whether you want to be the incredibly large, tall person or a three-foot-tall, well-hung little person. Jesus Christ, what the dick? It's so important! I can't believe you guys are discounting that. We'll circle back to this. Never.

So Woody, of course, married, course married happily married children traditional life kyle and i are not we're both living the single game and so i noticed like just kind of reading the comments a lot of your videos a lot like you're not a pickup artist kind of guy at all you're more like you're a self-improvement like you know get your shit in line kind of thing right what what tips would you have, not necessarily for us specifically, but for any guys out there who are like, God, like this just isn't working. I feel like I'm putting myself out there and I'm not having any luck. Um, like the way you dress, like working out, like, yeah, yeah. I think, you know,

I think working out is, is, I mean, that's something that I'll always go back to, to, to say that that is something, you know, because it affects so many aspects of your life. You know, your confidence goes through the roof. You feel better about yourself. And that transcends, you know, every aspect of your life, including, you know, how you're going to approach and how you're going to interact with women. You know, the other thing is just getting out there and just being immersed in, you know, different situations with different people. I mean, just getting comfortable, you know, just talking and, and because that's one of the things I think a lot of guys feel very awkward and self-conscious when, when they get

into a room with pretty girls. I mean, we get, we get dumb as fuck, right? When there's a pretty girl around, we sort of lose our mind and common sense goes out the window. I mean, we just, we do dumb things. And so just getting comfortable and not realizing that they're not some magical unicorn and they just want to have a conversation with a dude that's not creepy. I don't know. I went to Walmart today. An attractive woman is kind of a unicorn. In Walmart? Yeah, yeah. I sat there for two and a half hours.

I was talking to my dad about this. I was like, I thought I was back in West Virginia. It was rough at the Walmart today. He was like, yeah, yeah. I was thinking that the other day. I sat down at the subway that's inside of Walmart, and I'm an older man, but I still like looking at women, so I just thought, I'm going to sit here and see what comes in.

It's rough. It's rough. They come in there with those sweatpants, just my ass is all blown out. They're shaped like pears. I didn't see a single attractive woman today and I was out all day you know when I pass judgment on pretty hard when people wear pajamas outside

and sweatpants sweatpants are not good but if they're pajamas actual pajamas with bunnies and shit on them yeah I see it at the airport you gotta be hot as fuck to pull that look off.

Yeah, way hot. So hot that you could be wearing a wetsuit and I would be like, yeah, that's a good look for you. Wetsuits are fucking hot. On the right people they are, but only the very right people. Yeah, yeah. If you're hot enough to pull off a wetsuit,

you can pull off pajamas, but... Go ahead. You saying that reminded me of an image of this Japanese chick wearing a wetsuit that I've seen on Reddit like four times. I'm going to see if I can find it because it just illustrates how wonderful the wetsuit can be.

I'm on that now. Move over, Midget Talk. Here comes hot wetsuits. A couple of winners there. But the pajama pant thing, you're totally right. What's something that you see it, Aaron, and you judge right away? Don't say cargo pants. Don't say cargo pants.

Don't say cargo pants. Anything but cargo shorts. Dirty shoes. Dirty shoes are just one of those things. I notice shoes. And, yeah, dirty, scuffedup shoes that could be cleaned up. That's something. I don't know.

I mean, I don't really judge. It's weird. I don't really care what people wear. It's only when, like, I'm asked to sort of critique somebody or something like that that I get into that zone. But, yeah, yeah i mean people are generally pretty pretty okay dirty shoes that's a good one you know what fashion thing i really don't like and i don't get are adult men buying really really expensive sneakers to wear with outfits instead of just buying like some nice kind of classier dress shoes or leather shoes.

It just... I just don't get it. I have a couple friends who do that. They'll buy the new Jordans or the new Kanye Wests. You don't like my Yeezys? Come on. No, those are the dumbest looking fucking shoes. Those Yeezys, when I looked up a picture online

to see what they looked like, I kept looking for a different picture because see what they looked like, I kept looking for a different picture because I'm like, alright, somebody's having a laugh, like joking around. But no, they look like the person at that Taiwanese shoe factory was like, oh, we have a lot of extra gray. Just push

it through. Just make more shoe with it. We say it from Kanye West. We were packing my stuff up today and like i have a massive shoe collection and i and i was like going a lot of them are just dirty beyond belief or they got paint on them or whatever and i was like yeah throw all these away and dad's like oh no no i'll give these i know people who don't have any shoes i'll give these to this person and that person or whatever and then he pulled out the yeezys and i've got bootleg yeezys that i i ordered from china for 20 i'm not paying 500 for shoes or whatever the fuck they are and and he was

like what about these what what what the hell are these i was a prop for the show dad those are kanye west's uh shoes those things are like 500 fucking dollars when they're real but those are bootleg i was like do you know anybody who would want them i i think i'd rather go barefoot he's through in the dumpster like like he was taking like all kinds of like random stuff to give to people he knows that knows it doesn't i like i'm throwing away like i got way too many tvs i got like eight tvs or something like that there's various sizes of just throwing them away yeah what am i gonna what are you gonna do with them like what do you do with extra tvs right i I got like eight TVs or something like that, just various sizes of just... Throwing them away? Yeah.

What are you going to do with them? Like, what do you do with extra TVs, right? I had nine computer monitors, like 1080p fucking computer monitors. They're like 60 hertz. What do you do with that shit? What, am I going to make a Matrix-style bank of monitors or something? No, you throw that shit away.

Like, you got to make hard decisions. I'm moving out tomorrow. Shit has to go. Yeah, there's nothing that gets you throwing stuff away faster than knowing a move is like, like, when I was moving, like, three months ago or whatever it was, I, like, was going through my closet in my old place and just being like, like, the initial, because you know how there's initial run through and then the final pack where, like, I was like, yeah, I definitely want this.

Like, I haven't worn this in a while, but I'll use it. Oh, man, I never did read this book. I'll do that. Then I went through on a final pass after analyzing how much shit I was going to have to haul to the U-Haul. And I'm like, I don't know if I need this. When do I ever? This whole box can probably go. That kind of shit.

It's kind of freeing in a way when you get rid of a bunch of old shit are you feeling that kyle oh absolutely i threw so much shit away with oh you had to be careful though because like every now like there'd be a box of santa costumes right like eight santa costumes and then three wigs are in there and then there's like two of two cap guns and uh and like three rolls of duct tape like i got weird shit in boxes and then at the bottom of it there'd be an item that's a thousand dollars and i'm like oh this is a thousand dollar thing here take this all right sit that aside and like you had to go through every fucking box because there was it was a treasure hunt it was literally a treasure hunt we're finding like expensive watches and like um all kinds of stuff

like like like parts to things and just expensive shit at the bottom of a box of junk and so you had to go through every box and like look at the very bottom of it because there would it was like a little treasure hunt it was it was kind of fun honestly i threw a lot of shit away i got a 50 dollar bill yesterday on the guys real Guys, real quick, I actually have to take off. I'm sorry. It's all good. No, that's cool. Hey, pimp your channel. Thank you so much. What's up? Yeah, pimp your channel.

Tell everybody where they can find you, all the things that are you. Just Alpha M. Alpha M dot com. Alpha M. That's it. Simple. Easy. Awesome. It was good talking to you, man. Thank you so much. I'm sorry. When Jez said it was four hours,

when I went out and started looking, I'm like, I'm not sure. I've got to go out of town tomorrow. I can't hang out for four hours. That's perfectly fine. That's a commitment, but you guys are awesome. Thank you so much, guys. Yeah, we had a good time. Check out Alpha M.

Thanks, guys. Bye-bye bye bye alright I have a perfect segway I was saving this till can you first of all can you show that Japanese chick that I linked you yeah give me one second I have to fix the layout what I meant was like is it appropriate to show them no

be quiet Taylor kill joy come on it's not that bad is it uh yeah you're right it's not that bad it's just nipply that's that's the exact image i was thinking of i found it so quickly i was very proud of myself but i but i have a great segue topic here. Let me, uh... It has nothing to do with wetsuits or, um... little people dicks or... This is a person sucking a dick. Oh, wait, I'm a little too high. Oh, you put...

I told you guys to bump that. And Chiz is being all smarmy. Oh, bumpity bump bump. It's like, no, bump the pornographic stuff in the chat. We always do that. That is not a wetsuit. That is a rash guard.

Whatever. The psychedelic toad is the video Kyle just linked. It's 45 minutes long. We're at 2.10. Is this where we're going to want to start? We need to watch like two minutes of this. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the – So the video I saw was a segment cut out of this, and it was just the

important part. But I've time-stamped this, and it starts right before shit goes down, and we can just watch it until after the guy vomits or whatever ends up happening. Basically, what this guy's doing, he's smoking toad

venom, or poison. I think it's venom if something's smoking toad venom or poison. I think it's venom if something has fangs that it injects and toads excrete the poison, so I think technically it's toxin. But in any case, what they do is they take this toad toxin, venom, whatever, and they create these crystals out of it. I guess they boil it down until you've got toad venom crystals. And then they smoke that. And you apparently get this outrageous psychedelic experience. And the guy describes it. He says some people are just screamers. They just have sort of an exorcism um when that when they smoke

it some people are like uh are like a um uh uh what's the thing that the the buddhist um or like buddhas they just they just sit there and like yeah they just zone the fuck out and and they they do nothing so so this guy doesn't know what's going to happen when he smokes this shit. And keep in mind, none of these descriptions of what it's going to do sound fun. Like, if I was trying to sell alcohol to some tribe, I'd be like, hey, you're going to have a couple of these beers. Not too much, but you're going to start feeling really good, like a nice feeling around. And, you know, you're going to like it. Trust me. Like, just don't go overboard because because you might have a bad time but this guy's like some people

some people are just screamers some people are more of a writhing vibe they'll do a lot of writhing like rubbing themselves in the ground and it's like at no point and then all these fucking idiot hippies standing around like pretending to be listening to some they're listening to some snake oil salesmen sell a bunch of dumb white people free frog juice for probably a premium. Well, toad oil,

whatever it is. But we should watch it. This is ridiculous. I'm at 210. 3, 2, 1, play. Peace on Earth begins today and it begins within me. I will release... this guy's smoking this shit out of a really interesting piece divine love to enter me he's wearing pajama pants

well they're appropriate for what he's about to do so just relax so he makes snow angels in the dirt? Oh boy. He's writhing on the dirt, saying I love you. It's good that they let him do this right next to the water. And without shoes on, so we can kick rocks everywhere. How long does this last? Too long. Two years.

He's vomiting. He's going to aspirate on the vomit. He's on his back vomiting. In a stream. It's weird to me that they cut away. Because in the clip I saw, they stayed with that. Yeah, they stayed with that guy for a little longer. Yeah.

I guess that that's all we watched dutch channel that quebel cop recommended do you guys remember that yeah i ended up subscribing i'm like notification crew on that thing watching people do the different drugs uh one it's a pretty educational channel i like that they did it because it shows you a real look at what these things are like. It is people successfully taking all kinds of drugs. So I think it can give the impression that it's not that bad. And they warn you like, you know, you can't do this all the time or you're going to get addicted. I don't know.

There's an old person in me that doesn't understand. You want to be like, don't touch this. You're going to die. Instant death. Don't do meth. But they're like, meth is actually really great. Just don't do too much. Okay. Oh, that's not the message to be like don't touch this you're gonna die instant death don't do meth but they're like meth is actually really great just don't do too much okay oh that's not the message to be giving people i hear you now i made that up with the meth part but it is what they do with these drugs in general they're like this one's really addictive so you know like yeah once a month once a month

you'll be fine no more than that i mean i'm not going to tell you to not do meth i I'm not a Quaker. You know? But maybe keep it to Fridays, Saturdays. I don't know. It's weird. I don't think this woman wears a bra in the show. And like something... Now I care about this channel. This drugs... You want to watch one?

I do want to watch one, actually. First of all, let's talk about what we just saw a little bit. That looked horrible, right? Am I the only one who immediately thought, okay, never doing that? Yeah. See, every time I hear about those weird drugs, I guess ayahuasca is one that, like a Joe Rogan-y kind of drug that you go just sit in a tent in the desert and see things.

But apparently that also makes you vomit a lot vomit yes but i feel like any kind of drug that's going to give you a spiritual in air quotes enlightening or whatever like if right after you take it you're vomiting because your body's like get it out get it out this is frog poison you stupid we've evolved to reject this! And then you're writhing around in a stream with your legs... You guys couldn't see the video. This fucker was wearing women's yoga pants that were rolled up to his legs. He was four feet away from a stream.

Not like a sand-bottom stream, like a stone-bottom stream. So there's rocks sitting around everywhere. He writhes his way, wiggles on down into the stream, starts vomiting onto himself, flips over, and is kicking aggressively, hard with his feet, hitting rocks with his bare feet. And he's

going to deserve every cut, every bruise, and all of the lingering neurological effects that smoking poison from this huckster in the middle of the wilderness gave him. The shaman. Oh, yes. And there's a lot of people, like,

standing around praying and chanting and stuff, and in the clip that I saw, like, they cut to this one old white guy, and he's clearly like, he's like, what the fuck? Like, yeah, I like to imagine that he was next in line, and he was just looking for the way out. You can keep mine.

I know what he paid and everything. Just hang on to that. Yeah. I'm good. Pay it forward. Yeah. I had a few visions just now watching Larry rise in the creek and almost aspirate on his own white, foamy vomit. So I'm good.

Chief Running Water, you can have my hit. Oh, no. I actually have a drinking problem, so I do not partake in any kind of code-related anything. I haven't previewed this video. I don't remember the 80s at all. It is 10 minutes long, so I don't know how much of it we want to see to get a vibe for it.

Just your tits. Like I said, I haven't watched it in advance, but I have a feeling it's going to be worthy of checking out. And you'll just see what I see. Are you guys ready? Yeah. Let's get into it. Three, two, one, play.

Oh, shit. I forgot. You have to read the subtitles, which makes it terrible for PKA. Yeah. Let's put it on mute And just talk about it So what's gonna happen I've got mine muted now

I don't know what MDA is Is that MDMA? Like Molly Or deoxyamphetamine Oh it's Molly Oh okay I don't know what that is either So let's skip ahead to 744.

Tell me when you get there. 734 you said? 44. I'm there. 744. I am there. All right. Ready, set, play.

All right. So what's happened is she's taken this MDMA. I'm sorry, MDA, Molly. And now she's getting a massage. And you have to hear it. Like, that feels nice. I think the viewers are jealous. You start shipping these people in the video so hard.

You're like, are they not having sex all the time? They're on drugs. Oftentimes the drugs make them horny. Or just susceptible. Yeah, they're fucking. Yeah. Oh, they're definitely fucking. If she just took a

bunch of molly and now he's massaging her i know what happened right after this wrapped they fucked on that lab table and it was probably fantastic and they filmed it yeah i'll subscribe to that fucking channel i the channel i want to subscribe to is where they do drugs and then they fuck because the chick is very hot um she speaks some foreign language so i have no idea what she's saying so i won't have to listen to a bunch of put on the closed captions because they do it all in english oh i prefer i can notice my mind is thinking i want to dance it's really nice though uh i feel cold and warm at the same time all these stones are nice and warm here like guys the reputation of of Molly is always like, you take that and then you dance the night away.

Like at a rave or at a concert or whatever. That's the... Oh, I thought you were giving something useful there, Chiz, not a little quip. It is Molly. I figured they'd be dancing around. I don't know. Yeah, she's cute. The fact that she does drugs and gets massaged on video is definitely two tallies in the pro column.

If you're like me and you wonder what drugs are really like, because every time I ask someone, like, what is Molly like? They do a terrible, terrible job of explaining what Molly is actually like. I don't know. And I guess if you asked me what alcohol was like, I wouldn't be able to describe it terribly well either. So I hear you. But these people can. These people, they do every drug and they describe what they're feeling at that time.

And you just know what these drugs are like. This is not Molly. Chiz was actually being serious. This is something else. We don't know about these fancy drugs, Taylor. I thought Chiz was fucking with us. I thought it was Molly. And now it's apparently not.

You can't tell us it's Molly if it's not Molly. We don't know what the chemical formula for Molly is. It's Sally. What? That sounds made up. Are you not reading it? MDMA is Molly. MDA is Sally. Chiz is our resident. I know, but it does sound made up. It's something Chiz wrote, right?

It's not like we just... It says it right here. I saw it on the internet. Yeah. In Skype. Chiz is getting flustered. There's an article right here. I know reading is hard.

You can always come on the show as the resident drug expert. As our drug time correspondent. Chiz not sorry i'm sorry quivel cop recommended this channel to me and i've been subscribed for like i don't know a month and a half now and i've learned a lot about drugs it it'll really lay it out there um i will say it's not as drug negative as you'd expect it to be it's just people doing sally apparently, and really enjoying it. And you're like, oh, alright. And they'll be like, don't do too much Sally, of course, because that rots your brain and turns you into a zombie.

But, you know, I had a great time. How much time do they spend on the negative aspect of it? Just a little. They just breeze over that. They just zip right past it. Oh, you do too much of this and your nose starts connecting in the middle.

So go easy. Or you look like Artie Lang. You know that picture of Artie Lang where his nose looks terrible? Apparently he got punched in the nose. I'm not saying that Artie doesn't have enormous health problems due to his cocaine and heroin

and alcohol abuse, but his nose looked like rudolph the red-nosed reindeer because somebody had popped him in the nose that that's what was going on there because i saw the downstream effect of the drugs look at this see woody when i saw that i was like that's a lot of coke because his nose is just why would he post that on Twitter? That's his Tinder profile. Good lord. Yeah, he doesn't look good in that pic.

Well, he got fired from his show. Kumia dropped him, and he's in rehab now. Oh, he got fired from that? Not fired. On leave. How much does he cost? from that? Not fired. On leave. How much does he cost? Because we could pick him up maybe. About $50,000 an episode. Oh, that seems like a lot.

I don't think that... Well, I don't think he's charging like that anymore. I'm thinking he might be on sale right now. No, that $800,000 thing was a joke, Chiz. On the Stern show, he was making right at a million. he joked before about i mean yeah i i hope that uh anthony's network is going well but there's no fucking way he's paying arty lang almost a million dollars a year on a subscription-based service like that there's just

no way like that i don't know though i haven't watched the anthony show in a while i don't know though I haven't watched the Anthony show in a while I don't know what their sponsor situation is like Yeah it could be Maybe I don't know I'm talking to Chiz too much now He has to type Did Chiz say he was going to be a guest in 2018? I thought I saw him say that to somebody

He may have said it That Chiz would be a guest? Yeah. Yeah, let's all just agree that we remember that. Yeah. When he moves and gets set up. Yeah, he just said it in the Skype. Yeah.

2018, which, by the way, starts in like a week. Chiz would be a guest. If he can find a place to put his car collection. His car collection. Yeah, Chiz's got it. Bitcoin money. Bitcoin is now below where i sold it it's been hovering around where i saw for people who wonder i bought it around eight it might have even been

just just under eight and i sold it at 14 and a half and it instantly went to almost 20 and i felt like a dumb ass and then it crashed and now i don't know where it is uh it bounces all the time just says fuck bitcoin that rail blocks. I thought that you were all about Bitcoin. He's all about cryptocurrencies. I don't know that he's all about Bitcoin. But anyway. So Bitcoin is down to like below at seven or whatever?

Bitcoin is a rocky road. So for it to go like up to 20 and down to 13 and then up to 25 would just be par for the course around there. It moves a ton. Hold! So we'll see. What did you buy it at, Kyle? Like 8,400 or 9,400? I honestly don't know which.

I got like half a bit. I got like $5,000 worth because that's all it would let me do. Hmm. That's lower than I remember. I thought you bought around $12,000. I thought you bought deeper. So should I not be buying a Bitcoin right now?

Who the heck knows? I don't know. As soon as I can, I'm going to buy more. Whatever it's at. You might be right. I don't know. What happened is I got up about $4,000 and that yeah you might be right I don't know I what happened is I got up about four grand and I was like I really just don't have faith in this like

I don't as I search my soul I just don't think bitcoin is gonna keep going up I the whole tulip thing and I'm like it's not that uh you know that I bet so much I can't handle this loss it's more like I just holding something i don't have faith in hoping that other people buy it you know and uh tons of retail investors in it that don't understand what's going up and like i just feel like everything about this is against what i know about investing so i got out there are so many more Bitcoin or cryptocurrencies than I knew. Oh, yeah. This is overwhelming.

Who are these? Some of these are just teeny tiny. Yeah, absolutely. We could start our own. Do you want a PKA coin? Make it happen. No problem. Get on that, Chiz.

Pump and dump, baby. Let's go. All patrons get a free PKA buck. Oh. all patrons get a free pka buck i don't even know how a real economy works much less self-sustaining i don't understand the u.s economy works much less a self-sustaining one i came up with this oh no i blacked out that yeah bitcoin's at 15 000 as i say this so now it's above where i sold it i sold it they're all purple from the wine what are you talking about it's always sunny no oh fuck that's that's i i hope that glenn howard and comes back i i think he is is he negotiating or what's up

with he's dennis right dennis yes and his wife's on the show right she's no yes person no uh that's mac and all of their wives have been on the show glenn um glenn howard and his wife is uh remember the dennis system yeah yeah remember the pharmacist the female hot pharmacist that he's like that's his wife yeah but she's not a main character oh i was under the impression he was married to d which no yeah mac and d are married thank you right uh so do you know why he's leaving the show as he said as he said if you think it's played out or is he trying to negotiate a higher contract it was for a show he's doing i think with like pat and oswald i think he's probably making the right career move. I think Always Sunny is already peaked.

Oh, it's definitely peaked. I haven't begun to peak. But just because it's peaked, I've watched the show since it started airing pretty much, and so I've liked it always. And it's become kind of like an institution. I just like having it around in a way even when it's not as good like like I'll like when I watch a You know like new episodes of shows that you continue to watch and you like it because of the emotional attachment to the characters

Not so much that continued improving quality. I'm sure they are there shows like that that you could name Walking Dead I don't know why I'm still watching my show I don't think we've talked about the half season, mid-season finale of Walking Dead on the show yet, but Carl got bitten by a zombie, and it's pretty much a goner for sure, right? For people who don't know, the rules in this game

and in this universe are if you beat it on the arm or leg, you can chop that leg off. He got bit on the rib, so that is usually a can't do anything about it kind of death sentence yeah so carl is dead off the show which is a real divergence from the comic books of course and a surprise uh to everyone but but you know what the big characters that like they were grooming into a main character right with that. I'm glad.

And you know what? I cared so little when it happened that I was just like, eh, alright. It was attention-grabbing for me. I'm watching the whole season finale, which is just... They have one episode of plot in its 16 episodes, which is like, we're going to fight back.

That's their thing. And then midway through this one episode they're dragging out to be 16 episodes long carl dies and you're like huh well all right then something happened for the first time in two years and and honestly though but isn't it kind of a weird way for him to do it like you didn't even see him get bitten. He gets bitten off screen. And you saw him in a tight spot, and then they reveal that there is an impact from it later on. I may have not been watching closely enough. I didn't even see him get in the tight spot.

I saw him sort of running through the exploding cars and stuff from the saviors shooting their grenade launchers super unrealistically. And then all of a sudden he jumps down in the sewer and then his dad comes in and he's like, Oh no, Carl! And that's it. I know he's going to be in at least one more episode, right? Because he wasn't dead dead.

We have to see him turn and maybe see his father stick a knife in his head. I hope that he goes on a suicide mission right he's like you know i'm gonna turn anyway let me go after negan or something like that is negan still a part of it yes god will be a part well in the comic book negan would be around for several years uh the show doesn't adhere to it perfectly so you don't know yeah i think he's a big main character though yeah because i like that's what i like i haven't seen like any of this season at all yet but that's what i liked about his season the negan season was all the scenes with him like i'd kind of lost like

when uh what the fuck glenn died like it was like i at that point because the internet had ruined it i'd like braced myself so i was like more upset by the redhead military dude dying than the Asian guy. Because I went into that scene being like, all right, we all know the Asian guy dies. I've been emotionally distancing myself from him the past few episodes just in anticipation. Because I liked Glenn. I thought he was a good character. And then when he caved the skull in of the big ginger guy, I'm like, oh, no. No, not him.

He was climbing the ranks of my favorites. I liked it because he didn't play stupid shit. He was often the only one with that way, way too aggressive, given her physical capabilities, Mexican lady. He was like, we got to get in there, man. We're not going to stop. And he's like, frankly, I carry everything, and I do most of the shooting. So you're just charging in or whatever. I didn't like that, but I liked him.

But it was really just Negan. So Negan's great. He's better than Rick. You're at a spot where Negan is peaking, right? Spend 24 more episodes of Negan with this fucking baseball bat going, yeah, I don't know about that for a year and a half. And you're like, Jesus, dude, you've got one trick. You lean back with the baseball bat. You know, like, the fuck?

You don't say anything interesting. You're just like, I like you. You're tough. I do what I have to do, and so do you. And that is the entire extent of my philosophy that I just repeat for a year and a half. Why doesn't he get, like, new and exciting weapons? That could be his shtick. Like, he has a hockey stick with nails through it.

Or he's got, like, just something. Or a two-by-four with nails through it. And working like a stick with some nails in it. And thinking out of the box here, like lumber with bolts. You could do that. I like just nails and a stick more. But you see, I'm sure even his followers are like, honestly, the bad thing is a little played out. Like, honestly, like, the bad things are a little played out.

Like, maybe get yourself, I don't know, like, do something creative. Go rob an Ikea. Steal a bunch of knives. Like, just keep a bunch on you. Throw them at people. Like, just any amount of things can be done that could improve the interesting appeal. Get yourself a hatchet. You could be the hatchet man. Yeah.

Two hatchets. And then be the hatchet man. Two hatchets. And then when people are getting pissed off you make the ching ching ching sparks kind of look. That happens in shows. Not in real life. No, but I like the way you're thinking for sure. Exactly. If they can get that goddamn deer

before he shoots it in there then they can do the effect. Yeah, they can bang hatchets together and make them sparkle. Yeah, you're right, Chiz. This is some terrible storyboarding. This is like the kind of story that they'd let a Make-A-Wish kid come in

and tell, and then when he left, he'd be like, Jesus Christ, maybe this is for the best. I knew it was cancer, but I didn't know it was brain cancer. What was he thinking? Sparks and hatch's the hatchet man and then he had to make it a hockey thing

what a loser what a retard part of me so in Walking Dead they said there was no action and the next season they come back and every show is just superheroes killing 36 zombies by themselves and like ah we can't win

I get it but you're just doing everything the fans ask for really badly. Fuck that show. They're bad at making shows. Are you guys done? No, I'm still watching. I watch it, but I'm watching it in a completely different way

than I watch Game of Thrones. I'm watching Game of Thrones and I'm just engrossed. I'm loving it. I watch Walking Dead and I don't even pay 100% attention. I look up every five seconds and they're doing something else stupid.

All right. On Reddit or something. I give almost every show my full undivided attention, but The Walking Dead has fallen to the Office reruns level of attention. It's such shit. It's such shit.

It's terrible. And the people who like it are terrible. You can tell, like, almost in real time with some shows, as they get worse, because you'll, like, you know, start a show. I'm talking about, like, when you're binge-watching a show. They're probably uncircumcised. Like, you start and you're full attention.

That's how it was when I watched Mad Men recently. I only got to the fourth or beginning of the fifth season or so. But the first couple seasons, I was watching it full attention. I was like, this is a good show. I really like this. And then by the time the fourth season came around, I didn't even realize I was doing it, but I'd catch myself like,

oh, I haven't even looked at the screen in 15 minutes. I really don't know what's going on. Then I'd rewind and be like, I don't really care what's going on anymore. Then I stopped watching it. It's the natural evolution of TV. Yeah, I think I made it through maybe two seasons of Mad Men before I just didn't care anymore.

I just didn't. And so that's all there was to it. What do you got here, Chase? We're talking about frustrating things that don't deserve our full attention. You know that YouTube channel I talked about I shit on like 20 minutes ago? I came up with a new video during the show.

In all capital letters, every small engine should have one of these. 25 minute video about installing one of those hour tach meters on and how it counts how long the motor ran for 25 minutes right this you're both frozen to me probably not watching but but oh you know you move anyway like this the dream of this hard working couple changing their lives by building a house out of their bare hands, debt-free, sawing down the wood. 25 minutes of putting a tack on a motor. It is...

I would not watch that. You're bad at making videos. They get back to work. This isn't what your channel... This isn't why people are following them. It's just... I don't know. Dude, you pitched a dream of someone playing life by

different rules and now you're refurbishing framing squares maybe and uh and and installing attack on a generator which by the way takes 10 minutes you you know you soak it in vinegar overnight and then hit it with a wire brush right like what well he wanted to paint it and have the paint fill in the line so he could read it more carefully or something i uh i i'm not watching this video um it it's just such a discipline tedious yeah yeah and i kind of as i say this realize like i did this to my viewers to some extent you know they watched me for call of Duty or Mail Monday or what have you, and then I changed some of the content on my channel. I don't do gaming.

Yeah, but you completely changed the formula to another thing, and you segued in a way. It sounds like these people are doing kind of the same thing, just poorly. It's not like they changed topics and changed the whole direction of their channel. They're always doing the house building thing, right? Yeah, they just stopped working they just stopped working they just don't put the effort into it that they used to they're not making progress on they it used to be they'd work from like sun up till sundown on this house and now you know like it's

they could make 12 of these videos in a day this is how i put gas in my generator this is how i put attack on my generator this is me getting rust off a piece of metal. So they become jaded and now they're kind of view-whoring a bit. And maybe they're realizing, God, hey, maybe there's a reason why other people buy homes and live in them like that and don't

pour their own concrete walls. Like maybe society evolved in this direction for a distinct and now very palatable and knowable reason. Right? I don't know. Taylor, what kind of candle you got burning back there? Hmm.

And what's that on either side of it? Is that some Japanese? Did you adopt a Japanese sun? Oh, it's whatever they called. I don't even know the name of Japanese animations. I can't even. Oh, the anime. Anime.

Anime images. No, it's two blues things, like for hockey. It's got Hull and Oates, Brett Hull and Adam Oates. They were a great duo for the blues. And the other one has a bunch of Blues goalies throughout the ages. So it was one of the things they give away at the games. And it's actually pretty nice. It's like canvas stretched over.

You know, someone asked me if you were actually contemplating adopting a Japanese child. Wow. Did you tell them yes? I asked them if they needed some help with their smart mouth and I called them retarded because I was like he's like a 26 year old

single man why the fuck would he adopt a Japanese child he couldn't if he wanted to they're not going to give him one I'd show up in Japan and be like, all right, I would like one. Give me like an 08, 09, male or female.

I don't really care as long as they're useful. Get the female. I will take the male for sure now. So Uncle Kyle doesn't come to visit and I have to keep my eyes on him. And they'll be like, oh, thank goodness. We are very fresh with males. And so then they grab another male.

Or no, wait, they'd be trying to get rid of females. That's what it would be. That's China. But, oh, true. I can't tell the difference. So what you got to do? You know, maybe if Japan turns me down, I'll go to China.

I'll go to China. And I guarantee they will give me one. I'll go to the market, I'll buy a nice shih tzu kebab. This is Taiwanese. I got chipped. This one's from Thailand.

Eat much cheaper. No work is hard. Not quite that smart thailand like the mexico of asia yeah that's the philippines oh is it i was trying to think of the reference because a buddy of mine went to thailand for uh like kickboxing jujitsu kind of stuff like this past year and over there he was telling me about all the different – Is he really badass? He was in the Marines.

Yeah, he was. He's badass. He beat the shit out of any of us. And he was saying like how it kind of opened his eyes being there for a month, like doing all this training and everything. But he was still like talking to a lot of these Asian folks around and everything. doing all this training and everything but he was still like talking to a lot of these asian folks around and everything and he was saying like god i had no idea how fucking racist different countries in asia are to each other like he was talking about how i guess it's the philippines i mistook

it for thailand but like the philippines apparently like they treat them like second class asians like they're not quite as like they're definitely not up to snuff. Like, the Japanese apparently walk around like their farts don't stink. And then the Chinese, but the Chinese and the Japanese hate each other. And then they all kind of have a shared, like, well, at least we all agree we're not in the Philippines. You can laugh about that. And then it was interesting, though. He was telling me about one night, like, how different just the culture was. As a prelim fight for when he went up there, and he was telling me, he's like,

God, it was the worst. Like, this dude could kickbox so well, he beat me badly. But he, like, the prelim fight, they had lots of children, like, seven, eight, nine years old, and they put the kids in the ring, and these kids would beat the shit out of each other like not like play fight where someone comes over he's like enough like no like they go at it and he's saying that all these old thai men were standing around like screaming like with like money in their hand because they were betting on which kid would beat the shit out of the other kid and like they'd have to like carry this like bloody child off and they'd be like all right

everybody having a good night? There's a lot of eight-year-old blood on this mat. I would like to go... Am I the only one who wants to see the child fights of Taiwan? I would love to go to Thailand and look at

child fights. He made it sound like a lot of fun. I've got such a great mental image of this tiny little ring, right? Because they're little kids. And all the old men with the money. That seems like a great... And the money in my head

is like orange and pink. That's all silly. They're colorful ass dollars. I feel like if they're seven or eight, they're almost too old, right? Because they could do some real damage. Let's get them younger, right? Let's make them two or three on their wobbly, chubby little legs in diapers

just battling each other. These people, they want to see some damage being done. Like, if they didn't want to see damage being done, they would stop these fights after a kid starts bleeding and crying. But they're like, he didn't touch the mat, and I have five million

whatever dong riding on this. That's over seven American dollars. Jesus. Oh, yeah. It's because their money's bad. I have a new topic. Enraged naked

postal worker goes on killing spree Have you guys heard about this It went postal as they say I feel like I would have heard about that It just happened recently It's right here on Fox News Four days ago Here's the dude

That's so racist i can't say it damn based on the rest what could it have been well i see that the postal worker is black and my first thought was he had a job jesus christ uh apparently joke that's just mean apparently he knew he was going to get fired, which ties in with Kyle's line of thinking. And he went after to kill the people who were going to fire him. And apparently, people he was going to kill were really nice. I don't know why he was naked at the time. Because he went postal.

He went crazy. They can't get a grip on him. Yeah, he covered himself in Crisco. Yeah. He doesn't get a grip on him. Yeah, he covered himself in Crisco. Yeah. He doesn't say that. This is mildly related, but I re-watched Deadwood the other day. Great show, up until the very end. Do you remember Swearingen's main henchman, that kind of heavyset white guy,

when he's going to go out in the street and fight the really rich guy's henchman? They're going to have a henchman fight in the streets. He's getting greased up before the fight. I love that moment. He's shirtless, getting ready for the fight, and he's got grease, some sort of clear grease. It's not like axle grease. He's putting it in his hair. He's putting it all over himself so he'll be slippery and the guy won't be able to grip

on him. I love the authenticity of that moment. who i want to know who who wrote that in who was like yeah and and then he he get greased up before the fight yeah that's something he'd do i love little tidbits like that i that show was amazing i'm watching it and i'm just like oh my god i didn't know that this gem existed and then at the end of the second season just i think they wrapped i don't even know if there's an ending even there's not really so like it might there may be three seasons or it may just be two right i just watched it and i literally don't know because i just watched it in one big gulp it's so good but you get to the end

and basically you've got that the really rich guy from the Comstock wealth has come into town and he's brought all these hired guns in and all the townsfolk have put their money together. They got all their hired guns in and you think there's going to be a war, right? Like the big shootout with all the main characters

and gunslingers duking it out and death and blood and the Chinese guy will get in on it. It's just going to be mayhem. And then they just kind of go, we're just going to leave. He tips his hat. They just ride away and that's it.

The good guys just leave on their wagons and that's the end of the show, the way I remember it. The good guys leave? That's the way I remember it. I didn't even watch the last, like in this most recent binge watching, I was like, I'm just going to skip the last two episodes because I know it's shit. I remember it. I didn't even watch the last, like in this most recent binge watching, I was like,

I'm just going to skip the last two episodes because I know it's shit. I remember it being shit last time. It's going to ruin, it's going to put a bad taste in my mouth if I see that shit ending again. You know, they're talking about making a movie. Hmm.

But I'm always disappointed with TV shows. They become movies. Like, movies are so great. And then when a TV show becomes a movie, you're like, oh, I never really realized every show was was an hour this is an hour and a half long show it's a show with slower pacing it doesn't really work yeah yeah i think those episodes were 45 55 minutes or something like that well shit i i'll sit and watch four episodes at a time like tvs and better than movies absolutely i agree yeah absolutely like if there was a Star Wars TV show,

oh, I fucking love that. I'd love a Star Wars TV show. You'd have a much better property than what happens in those movies. If you could, my favorite Star Wars content of all time is the Clone Wars animated thing. That was wonderful.

That was so good. I watched that. I was into it for a while. It was on Adult Swim, I think. I never watched any of it. It was on Netflix. I don't know into it for a while adult swim i think i never watched any it was on netflix for i don't know if it still is yeah you i don't know if it still is either but i watched it in its entirety and i was like wow this is this is better than any other star wars content i've ever watched and i've seen all of it except for the most recent movie and

i love the clone wars i think it's really done. And it seems to me like the most interesting part of sort of the Star Wars saga. You know, the Clone Wars are great. The Clone Wars are good, for sure. That's when Anakin Skywalker is like doing shit. Right? He's not complaining about sand. He hasn't become Darth Vader yet.

He's just out there with Obi-Wan doing shit. Yeah. Yeah, it's good. I saw some poll of Star Wars fans that showed the relative likability or popularity of given characters in the entire series and how people feel about it now. And almost all of the new characters

were so unfavorably rated. Like Jar Jar Binks was beating a couple of the new ones. Obviously the big ones were Vader and Luke and Leia. People that you know, only you'll like them. But it was interesting to see, holy shit, you'd think at least one of these characters would be up there. That they could tether their line to. But apparently not. Rey and Stormtrooper guy,

the lame Vader, all of them. Kylo Ren. Yeah, Kylo Ren. Very lowly rated. I haven't seen the movies yet, but I don't like Kylo already, just looking at a picture of him. I could beat the shit out of that dude. There's a scene where

you see his physique and i had to ask like is that like video photoshopped or whatever it is because i it seemed like they were showing a way bulkier guy than you expected just so you know he's a strong man and and for the record taylor he's just scarier i would pick any jedi over any of us they're they're they got a lot of stuff going on no because in real life what it would be is they would come up to me like that fucking uh scam artist uh you know hung tao guy who fought a jujitsu guy where he's like i I control balls of power! And you're just like, woo! You'd just have to wait for Kylo to do a throat thing, and I'd be like,

I don't believe in your voodoo, you heathen. And you go over and you clock him in the mouth. I bet most Jedis have never been punched in the fucking mouth. Like, what would they... Oh! Fuck!

You're existing in a universe where Jedis have no powers. In my universe, Jedis just pick you up by the throat from a distance and choke you. That's what Darth Vader would do. They have electric bolts from their fingers. You can't beat that.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, he does look pretty bulky in this. I think maybe it's more of a hair and face thing. I don't look at him and feel any kind of fear other than like he might molest a loved one of mine.

Like not an actual fear. I leave my grandma alone! Yeah, this one he doesn't look ripped at all it almost looks like his like they put a different head on that picture i'm looking at the top one um and then in the film i guess in the same sort of thing like he's just bigger in the ribcage he's wider than you expect you think he's going to be scrawny and lame like parker schnabel from gold rust but

gold rush but in this picture and in the video, he's actually really strong across the chest. He was a Marine, if that means anything. Oh, really? I like him now. Hmm. Was he really a Marine, or did you make that up? No, he was. Well, good for him, then.

Being Kylo. Is that Darth Vader's son? I don't know what it is. I's like i might be a sport i don't know what it is i haven't seen the new movie i don't i don't know his lineage oh no wait that's oh i thought that was already that is he's han solo's son yeah yeah han solo and princess leia and princess leia is where the force comes from oh is it like uh the same way that being Jewish works. Exactly. It comes from the mother's side. He also can't eat shellfish. Can't eat shellfish.

That's why his outfit is one fabric. Like any other genetic trait. It comes from one or the other. I don't know. They tend to change their mind on how you get it. Partly it comes from your parents. Partly it's in all of us. Partly it's like martial arts where you can study it and pick it up and partly it's the mitochondria count what is the count in your

midichlorian midichlorian thank you but but i like to ignore about all that midichlorian talk because yeah even as a kid watching that i was like i'm nine and this doesn't make any sense so i was an adult when i watched it and it was like oh like here's i don't know if everyone else has this one stupid idiotic thread in their head but aren't you kind of still just a little bit maybe kind of sort of in some deeper part of you hoping your superpowers are going to emerge they just haven't yet you know and i tried a lot it's not coming you know as a kid i spent a lot of time trying to move things with my mind and yeah little things that would be incredibly easy to move right

like like you gotta start small like the pull cord on your blinds like you know it is that the light is tiny on the coffee table you know but even that's too hard right like i feel like like like like something you're just swinging i see i. I see. I thought you were pulling. I just want it to move a little. Yeah. Yeah. I just want it to like, you know, the slightest touch moves that. And I'm just sitting there. Yeah.

If I focus really, really hard, I can burst a blood vessel in my eye. Right? Right. So when they said it was like the, what was the word again? Midichlorian? Yeah. Does the midichlorian? Yeah. Does the midichlorian count in your blood and then it comes from your parents and this guy had this concentration and that guy had that? It was like, oh, well, shucks.

Now I don't have any chance of being a Jedi. How disappointing for like 28-year-old Woody. See, that's what's so cool about the mutants in the X-Men is that at any point your powers could emerge, you know? You never know when you're going to be... Your parents didn't need to be a mutant. You could just suddenly... Your powers could emerge like late puberty.

Yeah. You know what I didn't like about the X-Men movie? I haven't seen all of them, but I remember the one where they're initially in the house, and the girl, like Raven or whatever the fuck her name is where she like touches you and she sucks your soul out and like steals your life force

and that other dude there's a Russian guy made of metal I thought he was pretty dope and like so many of these kids they're just like sitting in class like making fires in their hand like freezing stuff and it's like I get that you're children with superpowers but like one of these fucking adults needs to get

this under control you're gonna burn this place to the ground and kill everyone inside like this I don't understand how Professor X didn't run that shit with an iron fist it would have been no you don't make fires in the nice mansion with all the bombs and the weapons underneath it and then uh jean gray i didn't like her character because it seemed like her powers were just uh whatever was convenient at the time what can she do whatever we need her to idiot just whatever's convenient this is a kid show but have you seen sky high i think it's called no i haven't heard of it so it's uh it's called. No, I haven't heard of it. So it's a movie, and it's geared at little kids. And it's actually pretty good.

But what's fun is somewhere before high school, like you kind of hit puberty and your powers develop. So you go to Sky High, and they teach you to become a superhero. But not everybody has good powers, right? The name of the high school. Yeah, yeah. Some people have like super strength, or they can control plants and make them do all kinds of amazing things and those people might be heroes other people just glow right that's your superpower if it's a really dark environment

you can see like you can like illuminate small areas and they become sidekicks you know like one guy all they could do is turn into a puddle of goo and they're like yeah sidekick and it was fun to watch kids get separated into like cool and uncool groups because they were either heroes or sidekicks yeah i mean if i could turn into a puddle of goo as my superpower i just wouldn't ever tell anyone and i wouldn't do it yeah right you're like i have a miraculous ability to make myself three inches shorter it's like like, that's not helpful. I'm going to not partake in that. I remember the X-Men cartoon.

There was a mutant who was just like a frog man. Like, froggy? He just looked all fucked up like a frog. And the mutant beaters were chasing him down the street. Like, get back here, mutie! They had their lead pipes, stereotypically. And he's just like, I don't have any powers! I just look like a frog!

And I just remember feeling so sorry for that guy, because you've got Jean Grey, who's just fucking smoking hot, wearing that six-inch-wide piece of leather that just covers her whole body, and Storm, who's a super-hot African chick who can control the weather and even cyclops who you know he's got to wear that thing on his face but he shoots lasers out of his eye or whatever energy beams and then this guy he just looks like a frog it just seems so cruel there is for that to be his

power it was sky high or something else but there was one person who thought their superpower was turning invisible and he was like real nerdy and everything he's like watch i'll do it and it turned out he had no power and people just ignored him all the time oh that's that's he's pretty funny though he's kind of like a dorky guy in glasses. He's like, watch, I'll be invisible. And nothing changes. I feel really bad now. It was pretty funny. Alright, Chiz wants me to mention that over a year ago, we released PKN Season 1 over on our

Gumroad account, a video collection of the first 80 episodes of PKN video for anyone who would like to purchase access to them, who wasn't a Patreon who'd been supporting us over the years. Well, it's been a long time, and we put together PKN Season 2 Video Collection. It's episodes 81 through 170,

all on demand that you can download or stream from the site itself. And if you want to get it now, just head on over to... There's a link down below, but it's gum.co forward slash pkn season 2. Also, if you've never purchased the season one collection, the price has been cut in half, and you can also get it as well over on gum.co forward slash P-K-N season one.

Link below. So if you've been missing out on all that high-quality video content of P-K-N, that is exclusive to your amazing monthly patrons. See, this time it is your fault, Chiz. You wrote this one. Head over there now and get them both. gum.co forward slash PKN season 2

for the latest collection. Check that out. There really isn't an organized place to see all those shows. If you missed them, you can check them out. You can see them all in video form. It's cool. Definitely. We've got some AMA questions here.

We might as well start off with the top one. I don't mean stupid. How, where, and when do you wish to die? I don't want any pain. I don't want to feel a lot of pain. I want it to be like a quick explosion or something or like a car crash. pain. I want it to be like a quick explosion or something or like a

car crash. I want to die before old age really sets in. So I think I'd rather die at like 58, something like that. Paramotor, quick death, sometime late

next year. Fingers crossed! Sometime late next year. Oh man. Watch that watch that come true this is gonna get replayed if that happens next year local podcaster eerily predicts his own death you know what the best you're gonna get is is you'll be a little thumbnail image in the bottom of an outbrain advertisement like that it'll be next to like the guy like boy with no skin survives like that and you might lose the skin the guy like boy with no skin survives like and you might lose the skin kit you might not even get the click um i want to die in like

2080 so i'll be nice like like old as fuck and i want to die in my sleep peacefully. No, I want to die mid-blowjob with whatever the sexiest celebrity is who was born in, what year did I die? In 2080? Then 2060. Oh, really? She's going to be 20 years old? She's going to be 20.

19, depending on the birthday. Okay, you're right. 2058. Let's be sure. That's because she can have a nice drink after she watches me die. But that seems like a good way to do it. But I don't want anything calamitous.

Hopefully not a catastrophic disease. But I feel like if you make it to 90, you're going to get cancer. At that point, you're gonna get cancer. Like, it's, at that point, you're only, like, winning because of a daily dice roll. All right, this next one is, this guy needs some help here. All right, we've got to do this one. First time, but long-time listener here, I have a dilemma. I want to finance a car at 21 years old, but I'm not sure if it's the right decision, as the car payment, along with insurance required for a financed car, adds up to about $1,000 a

month, give or take. Bro, what kind of car are you getting? These numbers are not adding up in my head. Are you financing for 24 months? What are you doing at $1,000 a month? This doesn't make any sense to me.

Is this one, Kyle? It's like the third one down or so. What's his driving record like? Yeah, like, I mean... Have you been driving in Nice, France at all in recent years? Oh, my God. It says here that his income is roughly $1,800 a month, but his cost of living, including food,

is about $540 a month, so that's only leaving it... He's basically going to have $300 a month, but his cost of living, including food, is about $540 a month. So that's only leaving it. He's basically going to have $300 a month of spending money after his cost of living and his car. So the dilemma comes to fruition. Having this car would mean, of course, that he could work as a Lyft driver, which would increase his monthly income or even erase the car note payment altogether. That's ambitious. they are a pk

sponsor so it is very possible i bet it is possible to make a thousand dollars a month as a lyft driver but but he has another job too right like yeah or i guess actually if you're driving for lyft all the times where you're going to be making the most money anyway are like social when people are out at bars when they're at games so i don't know maybe it makes sense i gotta i'm very confused about why it's a thousand dollars a month um for your your car and i understand that includes your insurance but like expensive insurance is is like 250 a month like like my super sport camaro when i was 25 when I got it or something like that was like $250 a month. And I had lots of speeding tickets, like literally like six speeding tickets already on my record, like making that even worse.

I can't imagine that you're talking about $250 for your car, for your insurance, and then a $750 note. Like I wish you had put in here like what kind of car you're talking about getting because like i hope you're not talking about getting like a a fifty thousand dollar car at 21 like like that's a huge mistake like your first car you can you can get a very nice car for twenty thousand dollars or certainly thirty thousand dollars like you shouldn't be going much higher than that if you're 20 you shouldn't be spending thirty thousand dollars on a car anyway you can buy a used car get something reasonable that you can beat to shit and then just use it as an a to b transportation and while you load up and you save and you're you'll be less it'll be so worth it the the feeling of you sitting there in

the nice car is going to be totally totally eclipsed by the fact that you're going to walk back into your apartment or your house or whatever and be stressed out about finances all day when you could just get a fucking Honda Accord or whatever, something that's not going to break down and you'll walk back in and you'll feel better every day with an extra $400 a month in your pocket or whatever it comes out to. Just to lay this out there,

this person makes $21,600 a year, right? He makes $21,000 a year. You belong in a $4,000 car. You're just not at that stage in your life yet. You're not there. You should have a $4,000 car, hopefully no payment whatsoever, and accumulate cash for your retirement, for your next car, et cetera. And by the way, invest in yourself, right? Instead of investing in this car, which is just going to be throwing away money

find some way to make yourself more valuable than twenty one thousand dollars a year that's where you need to be figuring that out yeah man if that's welding school university or something you need to invest in yourself become a pilot i don't give a fuck what you do but where you are is not where you need to be dude it costs about like, pilots lessons are like $5,000 or something like that. Like, I mean, he said become a pilot, and I bet a lot of people are like, oh, but it's so hard to be a pilot. No, he's talking about spending

way more on some random car than it would cost to be a pilot. It costs like $5,000, $6,000. We must be misunderstanding something about this. I feel like he added a zero accidentally or something. But he spelled out thousand. That is an insane amount of money. He didn't write the number. You must be misunderstanding something about this. I feel like he added a zero accidentally. But he spelled out thousand. That is an insane amount of money. He didn't write the number.

And $300, dude, if you think, all right, I've got this regimented. I got it all figured out. I'll have $300 spending money and the car that I want or whatever you're saying. That's more of a car payment than I would take on. I've got quite a bit of money stuck away, and I do just fine. I do pretty well i wouldn't pay that much i wouldn't do that like like like the most that i would want for my car payment and my insurance a month would be like 700 and and that's if i'm like stepping up to

some brand new like like really fancy truck and i'm not putting any money down for some stupid reason like like no it would reason. It would never happen. It would never happen because as I'm saying it, I'm like well no, I would put like 40% down probably if I were going to... I'd really rather just pay cash and save some money up over...

I don't like paying interest. Oh man. This sounds so... I like the idea of you being a Lyft driver. That seems interesting that you've thought of that. So, like, I know there are minimum requirements for that. Your car has to be X amount of years old, and it has to be certain things. I don't know all the requirements, but I know that the age of the car is one of them. But even then, instead of whatever the fuck 2018 car you're looking at, get a 2000, I don't know what the year requirement is.

15 or something, you know? No, i was saying that's 2010 get a 2010 or something like honda accord something that's still nice enough it's not gonna die it's not gonna have problems damn and you're gonna have more than 300 to spend a month on yourself because hey do you do you like women do you like being around women because that's not enough money if you're looking to set up a relationship or do something. No, $300 is one night. Do you like going out to eat? You know, going out to eat? That's a thing of the past.

Now you're calculating every cent in the guac on your Chipotle burritos. You're going to give yourself so much undue stress if you make that kind of decision financially. And the bigger issue than just the undue stress of this month is the fact that he's not working towards his future in the slightest. He buys an expensive car and isn't investing in himself at all. You make $21,000 a year, Bo. The Lyft thing could help. That's poverty bullshit. I think, but he is

20, right? 20 years old? Did he say that? He is. Yeah, well, he is working towards it. The idea for being the Lyft driver makes sense. I don't know how much you make He is. Okay. Yeah, well, he is working towards it. Like, he's got to... The idea for being the Lyft driver makes sense. I don't know how much you make as a Lyft driver

if you're really getting after it. I don't know how much time you have to devote to that aside from potentially schooling as well as your other current occupation, whatever that is. You know, we don't have a ton of information to work with here. But I like what Woody said about driving a $4,000 car. I like what Taylor said a lot about picking a realistic car that might still work for lyft like uh you know a five or six or seven year old like honda those things are great and and and

like five or six years old they still look really nice to me those body styles um you need to lower your your sights here like like if you're talking about financing for like 60 or 72 months here and your payment is still going to be roughly 800 a month are i mean are you talking about getting a 65 000 70 000 car and then paying you know high it would have to be that much if this is that's why i'm so confused. I used to do this for a living and I'm doing this math in my head and it's just not adding up any other way than you looking at a fucking like...

Like a nice Tahoe. Yeah, a brand new nice-ass SUV or not even like a regular Camaro, like a supercharged fucking Camaro or like a limited edition Boss Mustang or something. I can't imagine what you're going after here, bro,

but you've got to lower your sights a little bit with your income. People who make $20,000 a year don't drive $60,000 cars. That's our advice. Email Chiz. I'd love to have more information from you like I'd like to know

what car you're looking at how much that car costs how many months you're talking about financing what the actual breakdown is between the car's payment and the insurance

if this is just an estimate that you've come up with in your head or if you've actually went to a dealer and called an insurance company and gotten these numbers from professionals

or if this is just something off the top of your head I'd like to know what you do for a living, what your education history is. I want to know your trajectory. I want to know everything. What's in the works? This is fascinating to me because it either

I don't want to insult you, but either you're making some terrible decisions or we just don't have enough information about you to be as polite as I'm capable of being. So yeah, email Chiz. Give us more information, please, because I want to revisit this at a later date and come back to it. But you've got our advice, I think, on this. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we all have friends and we've seen them make decisions. What's like the biggest mistake, I guess, financially or anything like that,

that you've seen like a friend make and in the process of doing it, like it could be a new car or whatever. Don't say my boat. You know what I was going to say? It didn't cross my mind. I didn't think of it. I was like, I knew a guy who left Painkiller already over like almost nothing. Because he fucking wanted the July revenue with skipping the June expenses or whatever the fuck it was.

He fucked himself over real good. He fucked himself over real good. Thank you, Wings. Praise Wings. Praise Wings. Yeah. I made out like a bandit. Because after the experience with the negotiations and shit, it was literally a text.

When he was like, hey, want to do PKA? I'm like, okay. All right, found a host yeah man lefty lefty is the worst negotiate he is part native american so it's in his blood that makes a lot of sense yes like remember we should offer the beads who are the indians who like sold manhattan island for like a box of beads he's related to them He's related to them. He's related to them. Maybe they are very shiny beads.

I found out the Indian thought on this. I think I said it on the show before, but apparently they thought that owning land was like a stupid, ridiculous concept, like you could own wind. So when they're selling land for something that is real intangible, like beads and necklaces, they're like oh, dumbasses. Here's your land.

I don't think they got the part where we were like, you were trespassing, Redman. Yeah, they're like, wait, trespassing? I don't know, I thought you just owned it. To be fair, it's not like you were standing on it. It's not like that's a bamboozle or a trick. It's like, because it's not like only, you know western europeans at that

time had invented the concept of owning land like if you went to china at the time and we're like i'll give you these all these beads for for this farmland here it's gonna be like oh you get the fuck out of here no that's what i make all my food you're dealing with a population that hasn't invented a goddamn fence yet. Frankly, the continent, we haven't changed a lot. Every time we start to progress, another tribe comes in and kills us. There's a fence. I don't get it. We just chase cows for fucking ever. I think it's okay to be horrible to little people and Native Americans because I just don't think there are many of them in our viewer base.

Email Chiz if you're a Native American and you're ever offended. Please let us know because I'm going hard in the paint on your dirty savages. Business at pkaonline.com. Let us know. We want to hear from you about your Native American gripes. Tell Chiz. Because up until the point where one of you actually complains i'm going hard in the paint on you dirty savage you're the next irish you you dirt people who who just got

massacred fucking you had it coming okay you had it coming i'm glad we took your land and poisoned your people now we have the western side of this continent it's what i'm blanking out divine what was it manifest destiny i absolutely yeah absolutely suck it suck it's a huge proponent of that i don't even believe in god but i believe in manifest destiny when it comes to you dirty people you womp them eating mother we'll end up having at least one native american person yeah and all it takes is one to complain and i'll end up having at least one Native American person. And all it takes is one to complain, and I'll shut up, and I'll never say it again. But when you're just an idea of a group of people that are... I don't think any of you are listening.

Just like I don't think any midgets are listening. So I feel like I can say midget, you know? Yeah, you can always say, like, midget, little person, dwarf. Midget is inappropriate. You can't can't say that no you're not supposed to no i mean you can't when you're going to say it like it's just instinctive that like midget is the word that wants to come out because that's what i don't know when that switched to little people but as a kid it was always it was always midget and midget wasn't rude when we were growing up i didn't think it was i didn't But then again, we have not met many dwarves

or little people. This guy wants to know about the minoxidil without even reading your whole question. I'll read your whole question because you pay. Kyle Chisholm and Taylor, you guys had mentioned that you had ordered minoxidil and were going to start using it. Have any of you kept up with it? If so, how are the results so far?

I purchased some after that episode and as someone that grows an extremely weak beard i have noticed great results after five or six weeks applying twice a day well good for you um to be honest after reading some of the like online possible side effects it kind of scared me off of it especially since it's excuse me something you're applying to your face i I couldn't get on board. I don't know about Chiz. Let me see what he says. See, I haven't started yet

either. Honestly, the main reason I hadn't started it right is because I wanted to sync it up with Kyle and Chiz. Except Chiz has been using it for a long time now. We can't really do it. Chiz can't grow a good beard on his own?

He's ethnic, right? Doesn't he grow a good beard? He's not Chinese. He's ethnic. We're not white like me, Chiz. Chiz says he's been using it and he's grown an incredible beard. And soon there may or may not be a code.

So save off on buying any Minoxidil products. We might have a PKA code to help apply some savings in the near future. So hold off. Don't buy yet. I gave some of my six-month supply to to because i've been waiting for you to start doing it so we can do it and because we have to say i threw mine away i literally threw it away yesterday oh and you're moving well you might have to get more if if we're if it's a potential opportunity there oh yeah we need to when we like when that starts we need to sync up

so we can actually see but a buddy of mine has been bald since like, he started balding when we were like 17. It's not too bad because he's like 6'5 so you don't see the top of his head too often. But I gave him that and he's going to report back and let me know. So hopefully it really

budges the needle for him. I'm so glad that I'm not losing my hair yet. I'm getting gray hair though'm not losing my hair yet i'm getting gray hair though are you yeah yeah i'm getting my flecks of gray on the side like only enough that like i'll look and notice it but like i brought it up like i was with my dad the other day at his house for dinner and i was like i've been noticing like some gray hair coming in and like if i didn't have any he would have been like really but? But he was like, yeah. And I was like, oh, I guess here we are then.

My dad's hair is very, very gray, silvery. But it's not like Mike Pence, solid white. It's more just salt and pepper with ever-increasing amounts of salt. That's what my dad's hair is like, too. But he's 70. So he's going to have some gray hair i guess i think the gray hair look can look really good on older men like it's definitely better than going bald and there's something about it that's just kind of distinguished like i hope i don't get a significant amount of gray till at least in my 30s

my hair is short so it's hard to see the gray at the moment i would never i mean obviously it's hard to see the gray at the moment. I would never. I mean, obviously, it's on video, but I would never notice. You don't look like you have gray hair at all. Mostly not. My beard, though. It totally shows there. Yeah, you got that one patch of gray.

You know, PKA Dan? Taylor might not know him, but people in the show. His gray hair started as a streak down the center and we called him a skunk man for quite some time at work and i thought that was great he's the only guy i know whose gray hair came like a mohawk down the middle of his head and did it like grow it's salt and peppered around tan's really good looking it's kind of like lifetime cheat codes he's just a handsome guy so even though he has a fucking skunk hairdo he still pulls it off like women in pajamas that look like supermodels yeah still look good somehow in footie pajamas

i want to get through a few more of these uh what mic are you guys rocking that's an easy one i have a sure sm7b i think it's about four400. I also have a Shure SM7B over here, but you have to be pretty disciplined about than Kyle is. He does a good job, but staying right next to it. People were complaining. This is an RE20. You can

get a foot away and it's not like you turn off your mic. That's why I choose it for this. Can I add, I use this for gaming and I really like it a lot because if stuff's going on in the house, that thing that Woody just described really pays dividends.

You're not hearing the refrigerator door slamming and if I fart or if stuff's going off in the house, you don't hear it on my mic. I use this whenever I game with my friends and stuff. So I like it a lot. That's the reason I got it.

Like, I think my last place, it wasn't too far from the garage door, like the garage door was downstairs and just over a bit. And it'd be like commentary ruined, right? And it's no one's fault. Opening the garage door is a thing that happens in a house. But if you hear this rumbling for 30 seconds, that mic doesn't pick it up at all.

This one, on the other hand, it picks up more, which apparently I need because I move around too much. a house but if you hear this rumbling for 30 seconds that mic doesn't pick it up at all this one on the other hand it picks up more which apparently i need because i move around too much yeah yeah for sure um and i have a sure sm58 very popular stage microphone for all my karaokeing uh-huh i can't i got invited to go to a karaoke thing, I think it's this upcoming Saturday, and I said no because I can't handle people singing in public. I love it. I do really well in most situations,

as far as being uncomfortable and awkward and everything. Not a super large amount of things make me truly, really have a stomach hurt feeling, but there's something about listening to bad singing. Bad singing. If it's good singing, it's not embarrassing because everybody's enjoying it, but bad singing from, like, a drunk, ugly person

or something that nobody finds funny, it's just like, ugh. Like, I'll have to step outside. Like, I can't do it. I enjoy karaoke. The good, the bad, and the ugly. All of it's entertaining in its own way to me. I've heard my

drunk Lithuanian roommate would get up there and sing country music and it was hilarious because he was drunk, Lithuanian, and a terrible singer. Great. That's its own entertainment value. And then some random guy would get up there and sing Billie Jean and a terrible singer, right? So it's just great. That's its own entertainment value. And then some random guy, we get up there and sing Billie Jean, and it's like, holy shit,

he's hitting the notes. This is great. And, you know, I like it. I like it all. I really enjoy karaoke. I don't, I mean, I like bars where I can talk. You know? Do those exist? Yeah, they do. Because, like, I, for some reason girl well because girls

like to dance like if it's a dancing bar it's different because then you go there knowing you're gonna dance and so you don't really care like it's anticipated you're not expecting to talk but like every girl i ever meet is like uh uh hey let's go to a piano bar and it's always just some fat guy at a piano playing the same fucking songs every 25 minutes he plays piano man as if like it doesn't recycle this entire group of bar people we were all here the last three times you can't learn another song but like and it's so loud that you cannot i if you were right here with me i'd have to turn your head and yell into your ear to get any attention i hate that which is why when i go to bars like i like to always intentionally pick

ones where it's a little quieter like not totally quiet but enough that you can have a conversation with a chick without like every two seconds like having to decide like oh is it worth saying what again or should i pretend i understood what she said and take an easy response back? That's crazy. I'm not sure it exists, but my ideal bar is like Central Perk, right? Like a couch with a coffee table where you can hear each other. That's not a bar, though. Well, if you like it, though. A bar would be like Central Perk. That's what I'm looking for and I've never seen it. A place where everybody knows your name. That would be far enough.

Yeah, but something like, not like Cheers, where it's like sad. Yeah, we have all been to Cheers, and we stayed for all of 30 seconds. Because we were with all those children. A tailor might have been one of them. I was. They let me in. Because you hit puberty at nine. Quickly, for the listeners, we were all uh we're all in

boston we went to the bar where cheers was filmed and uh like we had t martin and a bunch of other guys who were at the time were underage so like those of us who were adults me woody uh only used me blade and somehow taylor and go down into the bar and we all did a shot of i don't know i don't honestly don't remember maybe crown royal uh i don't know what we drank bar and we all did a shot of, I don't know, I honestly don't remember, maybe Crown Royal. I don't know what we drank. But we all did a shot. Yeah, right. We all did a shot of something. I like Blade.

I always had a good time with Blade. I didn't know Blade outside of our trips either. I never really gamed with Blade. I never gamed with Blade. I never communicated with him online. But we'd really mesh well every time we met up on a trip or whatever and like uh I'd buy a round of drinks for everybody and then he'd buy a round of drinks for everybody and at the time I was drinking a lot because we were traveling a lot and people always buy me alcohol so I could hold my liquor I was

I I was I was I was staying even with blade, who was a much bigger, much more practiced drinker than I was. And I was very proud of myself. Like, he'd buy a shot of Jameson or whatever, and I'd buy a round of Jager Bombs. And we were just going back and forth drinking it. And I remember having a great time with him. Here's what I remember about Blade's drinking. Blade could drink and stay cool right yeah he would be a little sweaty a little sweaty but i was just like you could tell he was there was some effect of the

alcohol on him but he stayed chill he just knew how to like hide it and and i remember this the waitress came up and the drinks were kind of expensive there and she's like oh you have 90 dollars in drinks and he goes oh one more then and i was like oh my god that's the coolest thing i've ever seen like he couldn't like you know he's just like oh yeah then give me one more and it was just like holy fuck that was so baller and she did and yeah it was the ballerest thing i remember we were somewhere where there were girls dancing on the bar and we just did not give a shit about we were like would you get the get away from our drinks like like get out there was like a mechanical bull in there

and uh and i remember yeah i think you i think you were and uh there was a separation where kitty felt like i had abandoned her. Like she didn't have a way back to the hotel. I might have had the room keys or whatever in my pocket. Who knows? But I was drunk. So like me, only use me blade, and white boy, just start walking. I don't know where we were headed.

I don't know why. But we left the group in search of greener pastures. And I remember we were getting really tired walking up a hill. And White Boy weighing, I'm going to say White Boy weighs 140 pounds. And I was pretty heavy at the time. I was probably closer to 200. And Blade's a big boy. And we were both, we were handling our drinks really well, I think. I honestly feel like I was holding my own with Blade. White Boy was pretty wasted, though. There's a lot of hills in Seattle. White Boy jumps on Blade's

back, and Blade piggybacks him up these Seattle hills like he's nothing. And I just remember being so drunk that I was a little queasy, and I had no interest in food. And while Blade is carrying White Boy up the hill, there's a hot dog vendor, and he's like oh oh yeah give us give us some hot dogs and he's he's eating

and he like passes the hot dogs and i was like all right i i've had enough of this and i and i abandoned them and i remember white boy telling me he's like somehow we finally got to blade's car and he just took us somewhere and i don't i don't remember how i got back to my hotel room so they ended up on some kind of a mystical journey some kind of spirit journey at that point that blade's good people that's what chiz just wrote but i've always had a good time with blade he's always been really chill uh really cool guy, and every time I've met him somewhere, I like Blade a lot.

Yep. He's a funny dude. Let's see if there's any more AMA questions here. Some of these, to be frank, we've answered so many times about the Mars thing. None of us want to go to Mars, if we're being perfectly honest, because it's a barren wasteland with no women women on it and you would have to work all day every day and you'd

never get to take a real shower again i would imagine like i guess you'd like wiping off with some damp towels or something awful like that i don't know what mars showers are going to be like um oh here's one specific to me that's rare rare as fuck. This question is mainly for Taylor, but can apply to Woody and Kyle. How does your family feel about you being a minor league internet celebrity, or do they just not know? Now, my family doesn't care at all. It doesn't even register.

They don't really think about it. None of them watch my stuff or anything. And if they did, they would just be like, we know you. Taylor's such an embarrassment that seems about about right uh but it's it's really it's friends that are annoying as shit with it that like i'll be flirting with the girl out and about and for like like if they ask like what i do for work i just say like my actual job like i don't get into a nitty-gritty rabbit hole about this shit because it takes a while to explain, you know? Like, unless you just do what Kyle does, if I recall,

and just say, oh, I do an internet radio show or a radio show, something like that, just simplify. And all the time, when one friend of mine in particular, actually the same Marine guy who went to Thailand, will always, because we go out together all the time, and he will come up and just like, I'm going to make a good headway with the girl. It's going well.

He'll be like, hey, did you know this is Merkazurka? And he does internet podcasting. And lots of people listen to it. They do. Lots of people listen. But that never sounds like a lot of anybody's listening to it.

So he'll be like, what's that? And I'm like, don't worry about it, he's drunk. Just to push it away. So that's the only one that gets annoying. To me. He was in the war. He was in the war. He's been following me around all night, and he's scary so I'm not going to tell him to leave.

They tested things on him. It goes all's the only thing there. It goes all over the place. My parents don't like me talking about them. My grandma and my grandpa have said before, because they know I do this, they just have never listened to any of it, and my mom will say, like, oh, yeah,

I listened to one once. You guys are so funny. And she'll be like, mom, like her mom, my grandma, have you ever listened to any of it? She's like, hell no. I don't want to hear my grandson talking like that. Sounds like she heard some. Because she knows what it is to an extent. And my grandpa, like they're both religious.

And so my grandpa would not be a fan. He'd probably like the ethnic voices. Yeah. Oh, probably so. My parents, my mom was always trying to crack down on the FBS Russia stuff, but my dad's always been really proud of it and thought it was super cool.

And he'd see people coming to visit and stuff, and he got it. He always was super duper supportive of it and extremely proud of it. Now my mom is too. And as far as this show goes, they often ask about how to watch the show. And I lie. I lie.

My real estate agent, or not my real estate agent, but a real estate agent who came to me to like, I've got a property for sale. And she was like, I've got a prospective buyer sale. And she was like, ah, I've got a prospective buyer, you know? And she, so she came and took some pictures of my place. She represents the buyer. And, uh, and, and, uh, I'd worked with her in the past and she's like, yeah, you do that show. Don't you like, how do I listen to that? And I was like, ah, well, uh, on a channel called Larry's PSn and it's called drugs make you feel better i was like you know it's it's a very adult show it's a little crass i was like have you ever listened to like the howard stern show where there's a lot of vulgarity and language she's like i love that shit i love that shit how do i tune in and i was like i've been like phrasing that recently to like

get the level of oh where can I listen to it? First of all, I never say YouTube. I always will just say iTunes because I feel like that throws them off the trail a little more. So they're not as likely to listen to it. But they'll be like, oh, yeah, I love, like, fucked up shit. And I'll be like, really? We spent 25 minutes last week making fun of a two-headed disabled girl. Oh, that's too far.

You won't like this show. You won't like next week where there's 25 minutes of drinking horse cum. Yeah, no. Or when we just really give it to those little bastards. People with birth defects teasing us. I tell people that I tell dick jokes on the internet and just kind of laugh it off that way. And that's about where it goes.

You know, when I went to sell my house it almost fell through because of this they were worried about like doxing and i don't know people coming to the door because that happened um they don't come up my long driveway very much anymore but they used to come to the old house all the time sure yeah they um i think my mom has actually listened to the show uh i don't know which one. She said it was funny. My dad has mentioned watching it a few times, and I'm always like, Dad, there's about 350 episodes of this shit. They're four hours long each, okay?

We're talking about thousands of hours of content here. If you want to watch some clips, we can sit down and I'll pull up the best ofs, and you can listen to some funny jokes. So I was like, but you don't want to wade through this. This is not for you. You know,

and that usually gets him off the trail because he doesn't have a computer. He just uses his smartphone for like everything. So my mom watches the whole show every week. It's part of how she tells what's new with me. I should call more. Honestly, it's pretty sweet how she tells what's new with me. I should call more. That honestly is pretty sweet that she does do that.

She does not like the stories I tell of her beating me as a kid. Honesty does hurt sometimes. And she's not a fan of my Bible stories at all. They think that you are wildly inaccurate. But it's funny that I guess the guy that wore a goat thing,

they're like, well, he was really hairy. So it made more sense that he made it out to. Was he a wolf man? Because otherwise... But she's never said that any of my stories were untrue, just that they don't like me sharing them. Exactly. Most abusers would rather keep things hidden yeah i really don't lie

like it like boy more said the same thing to those little girls hey hey let's keep that on the down low ladies yeah pipe down i'm not gonna sign your yearbook i don't know these people um my father does not watch the show but every so often he'll catch a clip of it maybe my mom will draw his attention to a thing here or there. Maybe fact check me if they disagree about something I said. Maybe I'll make a blue point in politics that she needs to hear rebutted. He said I beat him with a high-heeled shoe. It was a boot.

It was a wedge. That guy doesn't know a high heel from a pump. He's getting these stories all wrong. Man, if they get irritated by the blue political stuff, next time we have a big political discussion, I'm going all blue. Like all hardcore. When you say something left,

it's not going to be nearly left. Same thing. Let's do that. I'd like that, yeah. Community college free? That won nearly left enough. Let's do that. Community college free? That won't handle it. All college is free. Everything. Charging for food is oppression.

If we get a new guest who doesn't know us or anything and they're kind of politically minded and whatever they are, we should go even harder in the paint that direction. If we get a really left wing guest, we should go even harder in the paint that direction. If we get a really left-wing guest, we should go much harder. I think all white people should be paying some reparations, right? Just as far to the left as possible. Why do you need your own private property?

Why not just collect it under a government entity? Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. I think we should tax any wealth over a quarter million, just wealth accumulation, tax it and redistribute it. 100%.

Yeah. Well, you might be thinking of interim tax. I'm talking about accumulated wealth. Just take money from wealthy and give it to those... Who needs more than $250,000? No one I can think of. Who needs to eat three times a day for real?

Actually... Once, twice max, because we're running out of bread in these lines. Okay, Bernie. A lot of people, if they cut down the two meals, that might help. No, that's true. You often hear people cursing the bread lines in the Soviet Union. Did you know they weren't even charging for it? That was free bread mostly.

You have one, two family members in a work camp as a sort of pseudo payment ops. It was wheat bread, by the way, not this sugar, white bread, big sugar. Another thing, what's that? Something in the corner of my mouth. Yeah, that's always there. It's a little bit of old person shit. It was whole grain. All right.

I won't get into real politics. No. You get to add, I'm sorry, sometimes you guys make really shitty questions. Well, it's more just that, like, you'll see similar ones in there. I mean, come on. You get to add cheat codes to the universe. What are they and how do you enter them? Well,

you know, I guess like infinite lives and I like enter them into my palm like magically since this is all made up bullshit. You type in Robin Hood and you get a thousand gold. Every time you reach into your pocket, there are gold coins in there.

Until you're like, ha ha, oh yes, a Chipotle burrito. Here is a gold coin. We don't take that, sir. It's real gold. It's real gold. This is worth this whole bin of meat.

At least. Every time you get a haircut, you're paying $3,500 to destroy the economy. You're really just ruining it. How do you deal with putting a pet down? Well, that's not true.

I always just shot them with a handgun. Do they know they're about to get shot? well how would they know? even if you told them hey I'm about to shoot you in the fucking face buddy I mean are they like what?

what? you know I get this question a lot in my head is the dog cognizant like is it walking around or is it like so sick it's like just like laying there like waiting it's usually fleeing

get back here teach you to piss on the carpet you bitch people ask me a lot how to deal with like the death of a loved one or the death of a dog or whatever are there any tricks to this like is there any like i don't know anything but time that makes it's part of like uh you know the human condition right it's it's just a that's part of living this life that we're all cursed to live is that is is is you lose people and you lose things

and you lose animals and you lose animals. And there's really no quick way to get over it, you know, other than abusing alcohol and drugs, you know. You just want to go hard in the paint, go into a blur. No, don't do that. Not actually good advice. Yeah, yeah. No, it's terrible advice. It's probably the worst possible advice. You know, you just got to cry, you know, feel bad about it

and remember the good times and then replace them with a better dog. Sometimes people say to wait. You can't replace a dog right now. Dude, you do whatever makes you feel right. If buying a new dog relieves the pain of the old one, buy a dog. I'm not judging you.

There's a mourning period. I disagree. Right off the bat, you're burying one while the other one watches yeah we on our last on our last dog we did that and it made my wife feel better and uh the dog before that we didn't like whatever works for you we've got so many that when one goes it's like you know there's there's like eight more waiting right now in the corner of my dad's place anyway i went over there today because like i had like that big sectional red couch and uh my dad wanted it for whatever reason because it's hideous and i don't have room for it my new place i've got like regular brown leather couches and uh and so i took

that over to his place today and there's just dogs everywhere there's like hey hey we remember you you're cool we like you this is like i love those dogs but you know they die they die they got like little short expiration dates and it sucks you know the mean dog that my neighbor has yeah feedback so here's the latest uh they took the dog and i think they sent it away to get trained that by the way was in the works before i talked to them but you know they sent the dog away to get trained now it comes back and we see him walking the dog off a leash and she has a clicker in her hand and the dog is sort of learning to heal and behaving itself which i guess is okay i mean i'd rather see at least when we had an aggressive dog we had at least and muzzled then clicked because you know what if it just sees me and attacks me or something i don't know i'd rather

see at least but it's not been doing that so no complaints but it did uh i don't know it was over in our yard and my wife wanted to leave the kitchen and she was scared because there's an aggressive dog belonging to our neighbors in our yard. And Buddy, our kind of weakest dog, is coming home all scratched up and damaged in the face. And I don't know that it's the dog, this aggressive dog that we're finding in our yard. But it doesn't usually happen when he wrestles with the Great Danes. Yeah. It's something new. And he comes back and I'm like, why does your face bit up more?

Well, has it ever happened with the Great Danes or no? Like once in the last four years and now it's a trend? I don't know. I'm not saying it's that dog, but we did find that dog in our yard. So you got your bear mace, Andy? My attitude around that has changed.

So when it was like a gun, I didn't want to shoot it. You guys know, I've never shot anything except for that one squirrel story I've told five times. The mace, though, I'm like a two-year cop on a beat waiting for someone to tase. You know? I'm like, just fucking make my day, aggressive dog. And not by the way, I'm not chasing it down.

I'm waiting for him to make me do this. And I will enthusiastically mace this dog if it attacks me again. Absolutely. I sound like a dick. Look, I don't want to hurt pets. No, you don't. You're not sounding like a dick. It's a dog.

Look, you're on here with me. You're safe. They're not going to overlook. They're not going to slide right past me shitting on midgets, Native Americans, and deformed babies. Can you believe Woody wants to mate the dog? Can you believe my neighbors are watching this? They'll be like, hey, they were all

making fun of soccer earlier. That'll be the thing. No midget's going to come forward and be like, we're a proud people. Adventure scientists. Athletes. Well, no. But I guess I was thinking like the neighbors listening.

If your dog attacks me, I'm so glad that Kyle gave me the mace idea because all I had was the gun one. And that's where we're headed. Keep your dog off my property it's an aggressive dog it i don't it hasn't been fixed yet you know clip its balls do something like i have an issue with your aggressive dog and this is by the way happened like this week you know my wife opens the kitchen door and there's a german shepherd there i don't know dog law but i would assume that if the dog

is on your property you can gun it down yeah i don't want to use a gun though no no i'm just saying like if we're if we're just speaking about legalities yeah i'm just you know just i know you that's not your aim yeah what do you, what if you just start leaving? But I'm just saying. Hey, if you need somebody to come over and... Or just get some tasty chocolate treats and leave them at the end of the driveway. It doesn't work the way you might think it does. Yeah, we used to feed chocolate to my childhood dog all the time. Yeah, that was milk chocolate though, right?

So it's cocoa. You would have to give dark chocolate. Milk chocolate though, right? Oreo cookies. You would have to give dark chocolate. That's what actually really gets them sick. And you'd have to put a lot of it out there. Because they can eat a lot. But if they eat enough of it, they will die. Or you could spend a tenth of the money on rat poison.

Yeah, but then it looks purposeful. Otherwise you're just like, oh, my chocolate bar. What I really want is for this dog not to be in my life. It's an aggressive German Shepherd on my property all the time. That's what we're trying to help you with. I guess, yeah. It's fried antifreeze. No.

You want to add a lot of sugar. You know, they said they put something in antifreeze that makes it taste terrible. I didn't think it was that bad. Did you ever try it? It tastes antifreeze it gets on your fingers I mean it's not battery acid so does shit every now and then

but I don't look it off you've never been curious about shit Kyle? I wonder how healthy I am it tastes like shit it tastes like waste you know I thought it tasted worse it really just tastes like waste. You know, I thought it'd taste worse. It really just tastes like a shitty version of what I ate last night. I don't know how that works.

It tastes like cheese. It tastes like cheese and spicy meats. Refried cheese. I'm off of the cheese and sausage kick because I am putting on – I put on a couple pounds. No way. That violates everything I know about keto, that you can eat unlimited amounts of cheese and sausage. I ate so much cheese, so much meat, and it's such a dangerous snack too because, of course, you have crackers there too. And every little bite, like every snack, it's only like two bites only like two bites like a cracker meat cheese like two bites of that and

you don't feel like you ate that much and then before you know it you get up to get another piece and you're like fuck i just ate probably eight ounces of this meat a half a wheel of cheese and a whole entire thing of like club crackers or whatever and i feel awful. I made a frozen pizza the other night and it was like a four cheese pizza and I was like, please. I broke out all of my cheeses in the cheese grater. And I just

it takes like 18 minutes to cook the pizza. So I put it in there for like 14 minutes and then I added like a ton of like spicy Gouda and Havarti and stuff onto it. It was the best pizza I've had in such a long time. It was just cheese.

No blue cheese cheese. I was out. I was out. Otherwise, it would have been on there. Believe you me. Cream cheese? Cottage cheese? No cottage cheese.

I don't eat cottage cheese. That was a no-go for me. I don't actually know exactly what it is, so I don't eat cottage cheese. That one's a no-go for me. I don't actually know exactly what it is, so I don't dare. Four cheese pizzas is enough. I don't need seven cheese pizza, because then it's just slime, right? Could you taste distinct textures,

like taste some cheese? Or was it just a... It was like a spicy Gouda, so it added a nice little kick to the pizza. And it was a different texture as well. There was a little bit of a chew to it. I thought it was very good. It was better than the four cheese pizza.

I was happy with what I did. My weight has been stable for like three months now. It's like 197 to 199. My goal is actually to lose that last seven to nine pounds, but it's my fault. I was really disciplined on my diet and as my mother-in-law was dying and after she died,

there was kind of some fuck it meals, whatever. So I haven't been gaining weight, but I have been fairly stable at it. I'm getting all these compliments on weight loss, but in my head all i hear is like ah you know like i'm resting on my laurels if i'm honest with you you know like these aren't you just slow to notice because maybe you like don't see every video i don't often show myself i made a video recently where you could see my full body and uh yeah so i would really like to get back to my losing ways and finish the route the path to 190 yeah i wish we had um asked our asked our guest for some maybe

tips for you to uh to like tips were tough though i mean he wasn't like he's like i sustained myself mostly on barley and twigs or something like oats oh like i know it's stable and i you know oatmeal and egg whites and barley and and uh wheat berries or something amazing but that is a level of like look i'm not trying to get in a magazine shoot i just want to look good with my shirt on it's like a fucking like uh like an amish person or something. Disciplined. I admire it. It sounded rough. But I think that if I just, you know, completely cut out carbs, I'll go back to losing that last seven to nine pounds.

Yeah. Oh, you definitely would. Just don't do the route that Kyle and I took of eating an insane amount of meat and cheese. Yeah. Because that's not good and and to be fair the kind of meats we were eating like that's super caloric protein content not great a lot of sodium so like we were doing a lot of i was doing a lot of bloating like we're like it's the illusion that you gain way more weight than you did like because if i have a weekend where like two weekends ago when i went out and got wasted with friends and then came home and ate all of that that cheese

and meat and crackers i was so bloated the next day it was like like i look i looked like i gained 15 pounds you know those before after pictures they show how those are like photos not photoshop but like manipulated to where like if you if you eat a bunch of carbs and then drink a ton of like chocolate milk or something like that like you it'll really cause you to bloat like real time and then you know you can take a picture before you did that and you'll look like you know three months of progress or whatever that's what it looked like yeah like an after picture first and then blow it up and yeah you can do that but yeah we can all just let's all put it off for the next what three days and jump in on the first like i i haven't really been putting it off i it's just my diet that i've stagnated and been

eating shit recently because i still do my workouts i i have no interest in this i where i'm moving to i have food delivery options we're about to step things up a notch. I can get hibachi and sushi delivered to my door. Sushi? You like it? I fucking love sushi. I had sushi last night. I can eat sashimi, sushi roll, just the chunks of raw

tuna. I could eat just... Oh, I love it. Najiri, which is just the raw fish on top of a bed of rice like that's actually my favorite just um uh tuna it's kind of expensive right to have that is it like you you spend more than that than most meals yeah um yeah yeah i guess so it's probably i eat so much yeah yeah definitely for the amount of food you get yeah you know it's probably 30 worth of worth of tuna now what i have done is I've gotten the sushi

boat. Yes. I always get the sashimi boat if they have that option. Yep. Then you don't even feel bad. It literally comes in a boat. They bring a giant model boat. I've had sushi a lot. Well, not a lot, like 10 times. And I always just

like it. People say, have you tried this? Have you tried California roll? Have you tried octopus like i'll try it all it's just never my cup of tea i really like the uh i like the the soy put a little soy sauce on there a little uh um what am i a lot of wasabi wasabi but the real wasabi not not food coloring added to horseradish or whatever the fuck those cheap places do. And it's just fucking delicious. I love it. I even like sake, like warm sake.

Not so bad. Like when I go to it, I've only actually ordered sake twice because obviously the first time you're like, oh, I'm eating sushi, like sashimi. I always just get the raw slices of fish with no rice. I like that way more. And I was like, oh, I'll get some warm sake. That's like cool. It'll come out in like a Japanese bottle and I can drink some. I can be like Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai, sake!

Screaming because he's an alcoholic going through withdrawals. But and then I tried it and it was so disgusting that i was thinking like this can't be representative of what sake is like not at all this is really really gross and then the next time i did like a year or two later i got it again same thing it's it is fucking disgusting i like it um i think it's better than jameson you know or something like that like i most of the like i people that like jameson i don you know, or something like that. Like, I, most of the, like, people that like Jameson, I don't get it, guys. Like, that shit tastes awful to me. I have an interest, maybe I have a different palate than most people. Like, the alcohols that I enjoy,

I like Jägermeister. I can sip Jägermeister, like, straight out of the bottle. It tastes good to me. What are some examples of alcohol, like, other than Jägermeister? I like Grand Marnier a lot. Like, you know, the orange cognac brandy. I love that. That's probably my favorite. Do you like Di Serrano? Yeah, it's okay. I like Crown Royal a lot.

I'm going to drink an actual whiskey, I think. I like Crown Royal. It's kind of sweet. Is that the one that comes in the good bag? I like the velvet bags. I keep the velvet bag to keep my Magic the Gathering dice in the good bag? I like the velvet bags. I keep the velvet bag to keep my Magic the Gathering dice in. It works well for that.

People are always using those for one thing or another. My dad keeps changing those things and just random junk like pocket watches and stuff. Crown Royal is pretty nice. I'm trying to think what else. I like things that have a nice flavor to them and like

like all those things i've mentioned have really distinctive kind of flavors but sake's okay it's not repugnant you don't like beer at all do you what's that you don't like beer at all do you i like some beer like i like mexican beers uh my favorite is doseki in the green bottle um a a lager yeah a lager yeah i always forget that it's the lager i'm just i just ask for the green bottle um a a lager yeah a lager yeah i always forget that it's the lager i'm just i just ask for the green bottle uh i throw some lime in there and i really enjoy that i know it's kind of like i guess piss water beer that people think of it like that because it's so thin they like people make fun of beers i i hate that like i like ipas because i like the bitter taste but i like bud select and bud Light and Coors Light.

I like Miller Light. Sometimes you just want a watery beer that you're not trying to get drunk as fuck. Yeah, I always want a watery beer. My favorite beer is definitely the Dos Equis Lager, and my second favorite is Miller Light. The Corona with the lime in it is my favorite. Yep, that's probably in between the Miller Lite and the Dos Equis. I like the Corona Extra or Corona Lite.

It doesn't matter. They taste about the same to me. Even doing something outside all day, like a lime and a Corona or one of those Mexican beers is so great. It's just refreshing. It's carbonated. I don't like the bottle. I don't like the bottle. I don't like the bottle.

I like, I used to, like, when I was 19, we used to go to this Mexican bar every night just about, and I would get these gigantic frozen mugs of Dos Equis, and it just tasted so good. Or we'd get a pitcher, and it was just always just pitcher after pitcher that stuff and i really acquired a taste for it i love it i wonder what my family i don't think my family's ever seen me drink a beer i wonder if like it would be foreign and weird to them like lens ever view that for

have they ever seen me drink i guess my wife saw me when i was like 19 uh but not like regularly you well you just don't like beer as a flavor no but like the way you sell it like you know yeah you come in all sweaty having done some work in the yard or the shop or what have you and you have a corona with a lime in it like it's so perfect i'm like yeah that's what uh ron swanson says too i think taylor's onto something and yeah i kind of want to try it. Get yourself a frozen mug and it'll be the perfect experience. For me,

beverages have to be cold. The colder the better. Right up until the point where there's ice crystals almost. If a soda has been in the freezer the perfect amount of time, it tastes a little thicker. It's just ice cold. I want it cold as fuck. Sometimes you go to a gas station and the Indian people there are a little thicker. It's just ice cold. I want it cold as fuck. Sometimes you go to a gas station,

and the Indian people there are a little cheap, and they'll run their refrigerators at like 48 degrees or something like that, and you're like, what is this shit? I just paid for this. This is almost room temperature here. This is no good. I want it cold.

I always want my beverages very, very cold. And beer, even colder. Beer, I want so cold that it almost hurts my teeth. Yeah, because it is, yeah. There is something about those Mexican beers being super refreshing all the time. They're great. Yeah, I'm a fan of those. But with liquor, like, i really like grand marnier

um i don't i don't know where that falls into the classifications of being like a uh lame or not a cool drink or whatever but i like a little glass of that stuff we used to make uh my girlfriend made these drinks where she would take like a scoop of um orange sherbet and put it in a glass and then pour Grand Marnier over it and it melts the sherbet down and it makes this really tasty sugary drink

that'll get you fucked up. Have you ever had absinthe? No. Certainly not the real kind of absinthe that has the illegal... Is that when you mix with something to make something popular? Yeah. You like melt the sugar Certainly not the real kind of absinthe that has the, you know, that's illegal. Is that what you mix with something to make something popular? Yeah.

You, like, melt a sugar cube into it or something like that with the absinthe. Like, it's, like, green. The kind I got, this was years ago, it was green. And it said it had wormwood in it, which is apparently the thing that you want in there. But it was so alcoholic that probably 50% alcohol or 46%. It was more alcoholic than vodka, like regular shit. And so four shots into it, I was drunk enough that I wasn't about to start experiencing whatever new shit was coming from this. I was doing the Woody thing almost. Like, is this going to turn into something? enough that i wasn't about to start experiencing whatever new shit was coming from this or if it

all i was like is it i was doing the woody thing almost like is this gonna turn into something because right now i just feel regular drunk you weren't getting any and then like you know an hour passes it's like this isn't gonna happen just give me just give me a beer like just like but apparently you're supposed to uh like hallucinate on that yeah drink enough of it which if they want you to drink enough to hallucinate, maybe don't make it a fucking hundred proof so people can get through a little bit. I don't know.

My daughter just gave me milk and homemade truffles, which is simultaneously like really sweet. You know that she made me something and not supportive at all of someone who's trying to lose weight. I would have said, you should have said, hope go, go grab your dad a beer yeah these truffles on a paper plate and milk and you should you should have just smashed them with your fist and like why don't you just bring me some cocaine she's probably down there thinking about how loved I'm going to feel when she delivers it. No.

She's a wonderful person. How shitty. She's sabotaging you. And we know it. Like bringing a beer to an alcoholic. Like, oh, you want to? It's just one beer, Dad. You can have one, right? I guess so.

If you say so, honey. This is a little Jack Daniels yeah greatest of intentions but man you know well then at some point this week Woody when you're getting sweaty outside or probably not getting sweaty outside in this weather if it's anything like it is here going to Florida

get sweaty and then try a Corona with a lime and then report back next week getting sweaty outside in this weather, if it's anything like it is here. Going to Florida. Oh, well then, yeah. Get sweaty, and then try a Corona with a lime, and then report back next week, and you might... I'm anticipating you're going to go, no, not that great. I like pina coladas a lot. I like pina coladas, and what's... man, my brain

is not working. Strawberry daiquiri. I'm not a big fan of that as much. That's rum, isn't it? I'm not a big rum of that as much. That's rum, isn't it? I'm not a big rum guy. I like tequila. What's the mixed drink with tequila? Margaritas, of course. I couldn't think of a margarita.

I really like margaritas. Frozen margaritas. Nice and strong. I've got to take some heartburn medication medication before i i feel like we should be having them by the pool a lot this year that seems about right doesn't it you should yeah make yourself like a daiquiri or a margarita like you wouldn't need to have much tequila or rum around like you don't need to make them strong they just be sweet and good yeah i knew they need to have some alcohol in there because if you get like a virgin martini, or not martini,

margarita or whatever, like it's just gross. It's just sour nastiness. You need a muting alcohol factor. I like Bloody Marys. Oh, I hate those. I don't know, that's a shame. I really like tomato juice, like V8. And I like

the Tabasco in there and the celery and everything, and bite the celery and get drunk as shit on those things. I like them. I'll do mimosas if I go to brunch with friends or anything, and there is no better way to feel like $1, just like complete trash, than to drink champagne and orange juice, multiple glasses of it at like

11am like it's just a injection into you there are places that have like you pay a flat price and it's all you can drink mimosas what's in a mimosa?

what is this? champagne and orange juice it tastes really good yeah it's just uh like it's still alcoholic and it's so much sugar that you know and it comes in a little champagne glass and so like you'll drink it quickly because you're like this is tastes mostly like orange juice with like a little bit of carbonation and it's good and then you know three in and you're like foot's going numb from the beatus it's way too much yeah i just prefer beer lower lower effort and you know

what tinder no you know what taylor i am still a little dis like so taylor told of a girl who was a computer programmer and he was like i'm sure i can get her to play Magic and this and that. And it turned out they just weren't syncing up. They never even met in real life. I was way too invested in that potential relationship. I still think of her. I still remember her now and then. You know, Taylor and this computer programming girl

asked me for a computer programming joke, and I had none. I think i might be partly responsible for this not working out he just it also is like uh she it was just clear that we were not going anywhere and and you said she had really big nipples too that turned you off right oh oh yeah yeah he dropped her like a table and and the club foot. I didn't like that. No front canines. Dragging it through the hallway. Which is odd.

What did you say, Ricky? I said no front canines. Bizarre. That's inbreeding. Good move. That would be. That's inbreeding. Good move.

But yeah, Taylor was excited about her playing Magic. And then I was excited about her playing Magic. and then I was excited about her playing Magic, and it turns out they just weren't meant to be. Weren't meant to be. I'll find a gal. I love his reaction. She just goes, this is insane. It was so promising.

He knew his age and her career. I thought she was so promising. He knew his age and her career. I thought she was the one. She was one of the millions of girls in my area. She had all the qualifications. Young, has a vagina, good looking. I didn't even know that. I didn't know what she looked like. I just knew she was good enough because Taylor talked to her.

That was what I knew. Yep. Hopefully some good luck this weekend, and we'll see. Oh, I hope so. Do you know this girl's career? Don't get my hopes up. Don't make my hopes up. Don't tell me she's like a database analyst or an accountant or something.

She's a cpa for one of the big four uh i uh i was just meaning like going out because i i'm sure i'll meet someone uh for new year's that's kind of yeah everybody's looking for someone to kiss on new year's right yes yeah that's the tradition it is and, Kyle, you're not going to go out? No, I'm not going out. I'll order in. The guaranteed. Yeah, okay.

I guess in the city you have more options now. Yeah, one of the nice things about this place I'm moving is it's near some people I know. I have a question. What will your internet speed be? Do you know that? I think about a gig down and 30 up something like that that's enough for anything right yeah that'll do anything yeah i can i can get two debt two gigs down and two gigs up if i want don't as a guy with a gig down and a gig up i can tell you it is no different than 300 down and it's 500 a month it's just one of the options i'm just i'm just saying i i don't plan to do that's silly it's it's like for 160 you get a gig down and 30 up and then for like 500 it's

two gigs down and two gigs up and i was like holy shit that's it's cool that that's a thing that they sell exactly but i'm not running a data center like like i it's i'm not i'm not hosting servers here like like like i'd be up anyway but yeah i hear what you're saying fair enough yeah it yeah i have a gig each way and it has changed my life not at all so yeah the upload on pka is a little quicker than because i had 30 up but then of course youtube is limiting to a certain to a certain amount i think even steam like i was thinking i was talking to someone about how it'd be nice to finally be able to get like there's 12 gig updates that occasionally come out for games it's like oh get that in a minute and they're like oh but it limits you to 300 megabits per second you know it that's still

like that's super quick but but you know you're not getting your full gig or whatever it's it's it's still limiting you know who i don't know what the limit is but apple seems to have a really high limit like whenever you want to like flex your bandwidth download something from apple and they're fast i don't know why i don't download that much from apple doesn't help that much but it's a thing well i'm looking forward to it because you know i i've been saving uh planet earth 2 which is on netflix until i could stream it in 4k um i've got i bought a new amazon device so i can it does the 4k streaming and all that so that'll be nice i've already got the netflix plan that does it so you could do twitch stuff if that appealed to you

is that something what what would you do? Would you do PUBG? Would you do IRL? Would you do something casual, or do you want to go straight into a more serious plan? I don't want to start off with anything casual. Whenever I do it, I want to go in full speed. But as soon as I'm more stable and I know what's going to be going on,

I'm definitely going to do some PUBG and some IRL stuff on probably YouTube and Twitch simultaneously, or whichever one is more advantageous. Obviously, I got like 6 million subscribers on YouTube, so probably a smart idea to harness that fan base rather than just jumping on Twitch and bringing our crew here to combine the powers into one singular force

and do some Twitch stuff. Just one thing you might not know from hearing this is that if you stream to YouTube and Twitch simultaneously, Twitch limits how good a partner you can be. I see. Yeah. Well, I'll how good a partner you can be. I see. Yeah. Well, I'll just do YouTube then. Fuck them.

They'll have to... I'll do YouTube because that's where my fan base is. And if Twitch wants to... And then if Twitch wants to pay me some exorbitant amount of money to leave YouTube, I'll take it, and then I'll go back to YouTube with their money anyway. Well, you're worse negotiator

than Taylor over there I'll take 15 but I prefer 20 I'll take their money and then I'll fuck them and just go back to YouTube with their money anyway when the time's up I do understand your plan I fear that so today

that's where I'm headed I would just do YouTube most likely. I watch – when I watch Total War Warhammer streams, those are on YouTube. And obviously I'm on the receiving end of that stream. So I don't know what the interface is like when you're doing the stream itself. But as a viewer of those streams, I like it a lot. There's emotes or whatever, and you know, there's I hear him

describing how the money's being donated to him, and it seems to me like you want to cut the middleman out as much as possible, and just have them say they're always mentioning some third park site where they get their money sent to, so I don't know.

I think YouTube's probably the way to go for me anyway but yeah i'm gonna say that because you got a big base built up over there um one thing you can do is run a promo video on youtube and send them to your twitch but i'm sure you thought yeah yeah but but i'd i'd like to go live and it just and we're we're going i don't know i'll look at it you know i'll weigh the options and i'll do whatever makes me But I'd like to go live, and we're going. I don't know. I'll look at it. I'll weigh the options, and I'll do whatever makes me more money.

That's like I always do, right? That's the goal, right? Yeah, I don't know. That'll be interesting. I can't wait to see it. Yeah, that'll be fun. I really am loving PUBG. I don't know if the stats mean anything on that game, but I'm like top 7% in I think solo

first person mode and maybe in raiding or something like that. And I think like a top 11% in squads. We have a good time. I'm really loving that game. Chiz said nobody insult his gaming skills.

That's a funny reference, Chiz. That's a funny reference. I don't get it. Yes. why are there inside jokes uh there's this there's this there's this clip of uh there's this clip of wings going off on his stream and he's like nobody next one insults my gaming seals fucking ban them ban them ban anybody who insults my fucking gaming skills basically so he's saying something pretty much exactly like that. People keep sending it to me on Steam and every time I see

it I laugh. Whenever we're like I'm joking with my team of guys here it is. Whenever I'm joking with my team of guys they'll send this. If I'm like oh you fucked that up yeah I might as well. I'll give somebody a hard time I'll be like oh you really whiffed that one man

you really went potato mode there and let him kill us all you do not insult my gaming skills so I'll always quote this I'm ready I'm not ready yet this has been happening to me on YouTube a little bit like sometimes it takes a minute for the video to start

I think I need to clear all my cookies or something. But it happens on every computer. I don't know. I'm very confused. And I wait. Sorry. No worries. Whenever you're ready, we're ready. Every time somebody whiffs a shot or something, they'll send this to me.

You do not insult my gaming skills. I will ban you. I really want to see it. I can't wait for it to start queuing. I feel like we built it up more and more than it's worth. Gigabit download, ladies and gentlemen. Gigabit download. Waiting for this.

It's not running Adblocker. It's just YouTube Red. Oh, and I'll tell you, if you want to like for a little entertainment value you should watch some of shroud's uh pub g videos on youtube you know how people get really upset when people stream snipe them he doesn't give a fuck because he just he just melts all the stream snipers like like like they'll all come to his position and and that's not that he isn't an incredible player but he'll get these 30 kill games

because he's wasting like a dozen stream snipers right off the bat who are all trying to rush him his position right off the start and he'll recognize the stream sniper and he'll know their name before he kills them just based on what their character looks like it's really funny

alright I'm almost there. Just fitting the thing. All right, ready, set, play. Insulting my gaming skill is a perma-ban, period. I don't care if they're a subscriber, a mod, or anything. If they ever say anything about my gaming skill, please just ban them. Oh, that'll stop it.

That probably won't incentivize it. And then he dies and rage quits. Goddamn bouncing petty. I don't care if you're a subscriber, a mod, my mother, gangster grandma, the mailman, PKA fans, I'll ban them.

I feel bad. And I assume. Yeah, bullies. You bullies. Let's go back to making fun of midgets. And he knows. He's been told a million times that he puts too much value on gaming skills in terms of what it is to his career. He definitely does.

Don't insult the man's gaming skills. I think he's quite good at games. I enjoy that. He is good at games. You guys do the traditional walk it back. No, I'm not walking it back. He is good at games. Hey, but in all fairness, he's very good at games.

Fatty, fatty, poompa, laddy. I got to admit, you're good at video games. He is. I'm not walking it back. He is good at games. Hey, but in all fairness, he's very good at games. Fatty, fatty, poompa laddy. You know, I got to admit, you're good at video games. He is. I'm not walking it back. You know who else is good at video games? I think Chiz is good at video games. If you put a random platformer that none of us have played before, Chiz will somehow be good at it. Well, he's going to have to step up his PUBG skills because, frankly, I'm tired of carrying his fucking water.

And it's a little frustrating to play with him. He's so bad at PUBG. Don't insult the man's gaming skills, Kyle. Don't ban me, Chiz. Please don't. Bam. Kyle's gone. You can't tell, Kyle, but I removed you from the podcast.

You're back now. Thank God. PKA 367? Yeah. At all.