Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #370

Episode Date: January 26, 2018

This week on PKA, retired NFL superstar & podcaster, Arian Foster joins us to discuss how he would be able to take on a wolf in a 1v1 situation, the guys review a man who "loved" some goats to DEATH and then we cap things off in the last hour some good ole fashion WingsOfRedemption talk.

And we're live. Painkiller Ready, episode 370, with our guest, Arian Foster. Kyle? Yeah, a couple sponsors tonight. Squarespace, SmartMouth, Audible, and Keeps. We'll be talking about those more later on in the show. If you could talk, what would you say? I would tell the people to look down at the links in the description

if they just can't wait until we get to them later. Solid start, everyone. Solid start. So Arian is an ex nfl player which means of course we have to start out with the topic of you tweeted that you could beat up a wolf and i i disagree are you still as confident the thing about that whole uh deal is if you're not confident about it, you're going to die anyway, so you might as well go into it with confidence. Okay. But aren't you afraid of the teeth and the jaws?

No. He has teeth and he has a jaw. I do overestimate the amount of jaws that wolves have. They only have one job. But I think you have to look in that. When that tweet took off, it's weird saying that, but when that tweet took off, like the context of the conversation wasn't I'm out here looking for wolves to beat up. It's just the fact that if I happen to get caught in a one-on-one situation, which is rare anyways.

Yeah, as people do. But it's rare that would happen because wolves run in packs anyway. And if you catch one one-on-one, he's probably wounded or he's outcasted from the pack. So your chances in heightened there are heightened then. So the context was just if I caught one that just happened to be in that situation, I think I could get a wolf one-on-one. Arian, don't back off this. I'm on your team. I think I can take a wolf, and I'm just a regular guy.

You, a wolf in the octagon, you got this. You totally got the people over. You're like three times as heavy as a wolf is. I don't know about that one, but I think, well, it depends. There's a spectrum. How heavy is a wolf? Carry on. There's a spectrum.

We can get Chiz's fact check on it but like there's there's a spectrum so there's there's there's regular wolves and then there's super big wolves that which can range from like 200 to 220 right so i'm 230 so i'm thinking if i do catch a wolf i doubt i'm gonna catch an alpha 220 male you know but if i do you know i gotta see you'll be you'll be catching like if it's an injured one i agree with you if If it's some shitty pod wolf that can't get a good lunge, for sure. But if you run into an outcast wolf, that's just like a previous alpha male wolf that used to run shit. That'd be like boxing a modern-day Tyson. He's not his prime at all, but he's still going to beat the shit out of you.

I don't think so, man. I think that's different like wolves don't um wolves don't train you know they just survive that wolf doesn't know whatever your naked choke was and has no idea what the defense is exactly so like like he's not reading he's not out here reading the anatomy and biology of human beings right i know he's never fought a human before he doesn't even know what he doesn't know He's not out here reading the anatomy and biology of human beings. He's never fought a human before. He doesn't even know the taxonomy of humans. So I know where he comes from. He doesn't know where I come from.

So I have that tactical advantage on him. It doesn't have to know a strategy because if you present a wolf with any problem, the solution is always going to be oh bone crushing jaws right what do you do against this opponent oh bone crushing jaws and sometimes that can be to its detriment right so you you have to outsmart the wolf so if i so if he's bone if his one move is bone crushing jaws and i stick a log in there he's gonna be chewing a lot where you gonna acquire a lot but not a big let's let's say let's say a log. Where are you going to acquire a log? Let's say a stick. I don't want to say a log. I thought we were going hand to jaw here. At best, you get gloves.

I'm thinking you should have to go in naked because he's not coming in. Are you going to let him go in with a Kevlar wolf vest? No. I'll give him a cup just so we get one too. Let's put me in regular clothes and at least give me... Can I have boots? can i have boots i

can't can i have boots or what i got i'm like i am hiking pads like if you were in football pads you could take that helmet off and hold it by the face mask and pummel him to death no no question no question but if you give me uh my tech like my like i said my tactical advantage is our human intellect, right? So I'm looking for various objects around me that I could use. He's not. That's true. And if he saw one, he doesn't have hands. So he'd be like, well, this is unfortunate.

He doesn't have hands. He just doesn't have thumbs. He doesn't have thumbs. He has paws. He has little paws. And I'm thinking about, so Arian doesn't know. We've talked about discussing. We discussed fighting animals many, many times. they often give me like this super alpha wolf like what you couldn't take this king of all wolves but that's not fair because i'm not king of all people i feel like if

this was going to be to be fit you are king of all people that you're professional athlete you get an alpha wolf and i get 120 pounds am i am i can't i don't i don't i don't i don't oh you're really top one percent of the top one percent the wolf should be too fair it's fair but in this that's why i say i mean it's in different genres right so like i'm top one percent of football right which is kind of a context but if you look at like top one percent of one percent of you you look more towards like mma like that i hear you okay let's just say you're standing in a long line at the movie theater what percentage of people in that line can you beat up okay i have okay i'd be one i can fuck up most people in a movie theater yeah

you're gonna be top something percent too i don't know what it is fine it depends on what movies being played like rocky seven maybe not but but you know the notebook two i'm gonna conquer that one yeah we uh this actually came up i had a bunch of people over for one of the games this past weekend and a topic came up that i have brought up a, which is grizzly bear versus silverback gorilla. And it started, and I must add, you know, 15 people over, and it started with a little conversation in the corner of my kitchen. And by the time, you know, the second half was going to start, nobody was watching this game, and there were heated arguments.

Like, you fucking idiot. You really think a gorilla is going to come out on top? The bear has a stronger mouth. It's got claws. Like, obviously, the correct answer is grizzly bear we all know this yeah what are their weights yeah a giant grizzly bear is like two or three times the size like a grizzly bear is about or a grizzly bear uh a silverback a big alpha male silverback is about my height standing up so like six foot maybe a little more and it's like 500 pounds. A giant grizzly bear could be like 10 feet tall, and it's got claws, and

one swipe. Chiz, would you kindly find the high end on grizzly bear and silverback weights? Yeah. 600 pound bear, okay. No, that's, this is anti-bear propaganda, Chiz. Yeah. This is, I'm tired of it. And a 430-pound silverback.

Oh, man. This is a better fight than you're making it on to. We got silverback.org. Bullshit. I think I'm going to hang my hat with the gorilla, man. I like it because of the intellect, right? I think it – Does this happen in a forest?

I think terrain matters. Terrain matters. It definitely matters. But I mean, it wouldn't matter if there were trees, because a grizzly... I'm not a grizzly. Well, a grizzly could probably climb the trees better anyway. Because gorillas aren't arboreal. I know for a fact that gorillas will sometimes use clubs, or they might just bang things together.

Gorillas don't use clubs! No, they do. I saw it on TV. I mean, she was trying to find one clip of a gorilla utilizing a club. Yeah, and I've seen gorillas use two things that make noise and like clap them at each other in just an intimidation tactic.

Yeah, but it was trying to scare off like a smaller gorilla or like maybe David Attenborough had to say about all this. David Attenborough knows the truth. The grizzly would butt-puck it. See if Chiz can Google the bite force of a grizzly bear versus a gorilla. I think a gorilla is stronger. I think you're right there.

But the big proving factor to me there is the difference. The gorilla has hands, which are good. big proving factor to me there is the difference like the gorilla has hands which are good but claws like giant claws that the grizzly has with that swipe like i feel like and i feel like almost the dumbness of the bear is gonna come into play in a positive where like the gorilla when it gets wounded it's cogent enough to be like all right i'm backing off i got a harm on like 60 gorilla bitches i can just go fuck them get away from this bear. I don't know about another silverback though. That's what they do They do but they've never fought a bear Look at this image right here. Look at that fucking paw

What the fuck that's even bigger than I thought bears were right It's easy to forget how big these fucking things are okay like how tall is this man? Yeah, that is a miniature person. That is an eight-foot tall man. He's a prop. He's on Little People, a Discovery Channel. That's Alexandre Remus. He played European basketball.

He's a huge man. Those balls look like Wolverine, like animatium, unobtainium, whatever that stuff he's made of is ridiculous. Animantium. Amantium. So eventually, with a huge amount of lobbying, I got enough people on Team Grizzly to end that discussion. It was like 45 minutes

into it, I was like, I shouldn't have brought this up. Yeah. No, this is, I love topics like this. It's intriguing. Here's how you really answer this. Which would you prefer to face off with in the wilderness? Clearly, the gorilla. Yeah.

I mean, either way, you're going to die. Yeah, I don't know. Not necessarily, because maybe the gorilla might be smart enough to be like, this guy poses no harm to me. Keep moving, little bald ape. But the grizzly is going to literally rip you apart alive. That's what they do.

This might be an urban myth, but can't you play dead with a bear? I mean, it totally might be a myth. Some people will play dead, but sometimes the bear just doesn't lose interest. I did a Google image search. You only hear about the stories where playing dead worked. I did a Google image search of only hear about the stories we're playing dead word I did a Google image search of gorilla fighting tools

and the only images that support my argument are clearly photoshopped so I think I might have been wrong about that one I did find an image however of a gorilla and a polar bear in the octagon I think you're supposed to play dead with black bears but run from grizzly bears. I mean, like, black bears are

teeny compared to brown bears. In comparison, I believe so. I think the polar bear is the largest of bears. I think the Kodiak bear is the largest. Woody, that's a Photoshop picture of two animals in an octagon. You know, you're... How do you know it's Photoshop for sure?

I like that. I wish that they also had like john jones there like in the background like like like flexing bottles of dick pills how many how many john jones would it take to beat up a gorilla a lot probably like seven eight right this is almost like the how many 10 year olds can taylor take sort of question no if i get a stick oh i'm glad that we've got a pro here all right so we off i don't know if you've ever had this little heard this question before but the the question is how many children could you take in unarmed combat they're coming at you're on a basketball court they surround you 360 degrees they're about 20 feet away. The whistle blows and they rush

you. How many seven-year-olds? These are like North Korean kids. They got nothing to lose. Their parents are in the other room, gunpoint. They're not going to back off if they're scared. No mercy. These seven-year-olds are motivated.

Yes. How many? Yeah. How many seven-year-olds are motivated. Yes. How many? Yeah. Yeah. How many seven-year-olds? I highly doubt a pack of wild seven-year-olds can get advantage of me, take advantage of me. I don't think you can quantify. Unless I'm just drowning in seven-year-olds. Yeah, eventually.

It's like a zombie apocalypse. You see, like, you know know the Matrix 2 when he's that's what I end up I'm still whooping them, but they just keep coming. That's what I end up looking like. You just burst out of a pile of seven-year-olds. Except they end up flying away, man. I feel like you could take a lot more

if you knock one out and grab him by the ankles and use him as some sort of swinging device to crack him. He'll be dead in just seconds, and the others will see what happened to him. You pulled some intimidation tactics. What if the first thing you did was grab one, an ankle in each hand, and ripped him apart like a wishbone

while the others looked on in horror? I think that's harder. Whichever side has the head, you could use as a nunchuck. They're North Koreans. They're very malnourished. They're living on nothing but rice and potatoes and fear. That's all they get.

And communism. And season three DVDs of Friends that have been airdropped in from South Korea. How am I supposed to follow if I don't know what happened to Joey in second season? Yeah, I feel like I could take a lot of seven-year-olds. I could take – I've said it before, I think, but I just – I could totally take 20.

I think you could take more than 20. I think I could take more than 20. I think I could take 20. I think I hit hard enough with any – even with my left, with my right, with either foot kicking to completely take out a 7-year-old in one blow. Like, no problem. You realize how, like, the difference in strength between multiple people and one really strong person, though? Yeah. Like, we had, like, a – you know how every high school does, like,

field day shit where they have, like, grade competition or whatever it is? And one guy a couple years older than me was a legit bodybuilder. Enormous. He was Samoan, so he's already got the rock genes to be gigantic. And this dude, if you saw him as an 18-year-old, you'd be like, something's not right. This is the most chiseled kid. He's as wide as a house like if you saw like him an nfl combine he would fit right in he'd even be one of the jacked guys

there they put him up against in tug of war you know six eighth graders and i was thinking man you know rich the giant guy he's going to be able to hold it for at least a second no instantly he got pulled to the ground and tugged because at the end of the day he's trying to pull against a weight that's like you know four times 600 pounds of force or something yeah they've got so much more grip strength over there so like it's easy to underestimate yeah but it's striking now now if they're smart they're gonna they're gonna grab on like they're not gonna try to punch they're gonna going to latch on to limbs and your body and your clothes and try to weigh you down. And then the second,

third wave, they're just piling on. We have to make them a little older, I think. They get their tiny malnourished hands into your orifices. I think we're stuck on the North Korean thing. These are normal. These are kids from fucking Nebraska.

Oh, now they're corn fed These are corn fed country boys They probably wrestle If they were from Nebraska They probably would You know when they get down in a stance You're like oh wait Whoa whoa whoa

I think if you Seven year olds is not If you want to make a case Because the eighth graders that makes sense They're all in that middle I think if you – seven-year-olds is not – if you want to make a case. It's not – because the eighth graders, that makes sense. They're all like in that middle. Some of them hit puberty. Some of them haven't.

Like you're about to be, you know, start to get some hair on your stuff there, and that changes things. But when you're talking about seven-year-olds, like you have no chance. I'm so bad at gauging kids' ages between the age of like three and ten. Yeah, you tell me She didn't look she looked she looked at least 13 Costa Rica man so strict where'd it go from that i was listening to a couple of of your interviews arian and it's always something i've wondered about professional athletes but you actually said at one point you were sitting there on the you know bench you know during a game and you just were thinking in your head like god i just don't fucking care who wins this game like is that way more common than the viewer knows among players

or did you kind of feel unique in that where everybody else was like we gotta win like for everything we win yeah i think it's more of like a cultural thing um as far as like winning is concerned and the football culture that is i was never like in that mindset it just never like like what mattered me to most the most was like taking care of my family initially and of course you want to be like the best player that you possibly can because that will help take care of your family in the best way possible. So you give your all. But, like, it was just for me mostly. I don't think it was very prevalent amongst my peers, which was I don't care who wins the game.

And I never really expressed that. It was just thoughts that I had internally. So, like, I played the game. It was like, let's go, guys. And, of course, your competitive juices get flowing as an athlete, and you try to win. But there was a certain time where I was like, I really don't care at all. Most guys do.

As a matter of fact, I'm in this little Madden. We play Madden together. It's this little league with some of my boys, and we were having this conversation, actually, and he is on the opposite end of the spectrum. It's like football is his life. He loves it, and I don't understand that. I'm like, there's so much other shit out here man you gotta because it ends and i always knew that i always knew it ends and you

have to be you have to be able to transition at least intellectually before you jump off a bridge yeah and and you were pretty like i mean smart getting out of it at the time you did was i mean what you hear from a lot of young players there there was some guy who retired at the age of like 25 or some shit, just like a year or two ago. Was CTE and all the, you know, not wanting to be fucked later in life a big proponent of that, or was most of it stemming from like the, eh, it's just not the same competitive juices flowing anymore? I think at the point I retired,

I don't think the CTE thing was a huge variable for me, but I know guys are starting to talk about it and think about it more. I think when the science and the research started coming out about CTE, I think it was like 2013, 14 was really when it was like hitting the scene. It's crazy how recent it is. Yeah. And by that time I was already, what, five, six years in my career. So I was like, whatever damage I've done I've already done might as well ride this thing out so it really wasn't a big factor for me but

I know guys who have it it has impacted because it's not just you right so it's your family members reading all of this stuff so your family members reading it like how like how much longer do you want to play like how much will you want to give this? I guess it's worth it. So that stuff, that stuff starts to like sit with guys and they, they, they are definitely trying to change the perception of the NFL. But I was saying this on, I forget where I was, but I was saying that I'm not, I'm not so sure about the future of the NFL for that reason, because the more the science is clear clear the less people are going to want to support that um so even put their kids in it you know yeah yeah exactly like i don't i'm my kids unless they're like bucking the system and totally going against what their dad says like i'm not gonna let my sons play football like it's no no point what much of a disincentive was getting rich like like in fighting a lot of times there's this expression like you know it's really hard to get up and run when you're sleeping in silk sheets

how did that play into you like at some point you're like like you said providing for your family was a big port big part of your motivation and then at some point it's mission accomplished right yeah uh that you see that a lot with guys and that is more of like a character trait than anything i think because if you sign up to um especially in a team sport like if you sign up like in boxing i think it's kind of different or fighting i think it's kind of different but if you sign up with a team sport a lot of guys paychecks a lot of guys uh well-being is predicated off of your play right so if i miss a block i could fuck my quarterback up and that could change his life right so a lot so if you're signing up to as

a team sport i think you have an inherent responsibility to your team and to be in the best shape of your life um because guys it's not it's not basketball guys can get hurt out there so so i think that's how i looked at it for me so i have i have a responsibility although in the back of my mind i'm like i'm not so sure how much i want to how long i want to do this but i always gave it everything i have but just intellectually i knew my clock was ticking and it was just counting down but it is harder like don't get me wrong when you have millions in your bank and you have to get up at 5 30 in the morning sometimes you hit that snooze button a little too often it'd be impossible not to yeah like to have in the back of your head like god i could fuck off and say no to this and be pretty much set the rest of my life you know like it's got to be difficult

to get up and actually do it once you have fuck you money there's a temptation to say fuck you it's a fight not to say fuck you at that point so uh your kids you're not gonna push them into football which makes sense given you know all the brain trauma and whatnot i'm gonna push them away from football what uh what are you gonna push them towards as far as you think honestly um i want to cultivate their passions as much as possible. And you never know what that is going to be. So I don't want to push them into anything. But I definitely want them to play sports to a certain extent because it does build a certain amount of responsibility, camaraderie, work ethic, things like that. But I don't want their lives to be centered around sports like mine was because you miss out on a lot of –

I was on Joe Rogan's podcast and I was talking about this. I feel like – and this is just me personally. I kind of sold myself short on the things that I could have accomplished at this age. And I know I'm young for life, but you're old in your sport. But for what I think and I feel like my potential is I think that I wasted a lot I don't say wasted because but I wasted a lot of time playing a game that in like essence doesn't give anything back to people other than entertainment which actually detracts from people in my opinion so yeah I felt like I didn't really i have i have i have more to give

than just entertaining people away from their problems three hours every sunday so what i would want to push my kids towards is education and what and and in those in those classrooms and in those in those halls is really where our society takes those leaps forward like in science and and and social work and and those kind of things pushes forward as humanity. So I would love for them to find a passion in that. But at the end of the day, they're going to do what they want to do. Was it always football for you? Was that always the sport you were in and interested in?

Well, I was good at basketball, too. I had a couple of small offers in high school, but I was mainly focused on football, yeah. I'm a big UFC fan, so I like, honestly, the bad press that the NFL gets with the CTE and stuff because I feel like it's going to push some of those super athletes into my sport of choice. Yeah. And as baseball numbers, they're kind of going down.

Avoid CTE. Hey, yes. If you're the guy who's delivering those blows, then maybe so. You know, a big – I'm sure – you probably could get a little CTE. I mean, yeah, yeah. What's a little CTE? A little. All right, so think about it.

You play a full football season. I know they don't hit as hard in practice anymore. They don't do really full contact practice anymore. season. I know they don't hit as hard in practice anymore. They don't do really full contact practice anymore, but every Sunday for a couple of months straight with one week off, you're going out there getting pounded

every single Sunday or Monday, however the schedule works out. But in the UFC, twice a year you go in there and face off against some killer. Seems like a better idea. You take your CT in smaller dosages and until you get to recover from it i mean you can't get rid of all that's true threat or you get rid

of all the fun sports that's true like what can you play where you're not going to get like what basketball and baseball is that it i think basketball is actually actually on the rise because I think and I think what's changed this is social media. So if you look at like social media followings from each sport, it's like by far basketball has larger numbers. And then you look at anomalies like in soccer, it's like Ronaldo and Messi, guys like that. But it's basketball because of the visibility and that visibility is attracting a younger audience than than football was like when we were growing up when i was growing up like football was the sport and it still is like numbers wise but you i think you're starting to see this shift because of the visibility and the brand power that i feel like

they're absolutely capitalizing on with their social media platforms. I'm not a basketball guy, but the basketball fans are the most fun. If you go to the NBA subreddit, they've got these backgrounds and these stories, and they're posting the clips live as they happen. There was a fight recently. It was right there. They're all laying out who's right and who's wrong. Even as a guy who barely follows it, the social media helps you follow the NBA. 100%.

It boils down to three teams every year, though, right? Not a lot of parody. They said that, but it doesn't seem to be working out. At the beginning of the season, I don't watch a single game, don't know anything about the standings, but I bet the Cavs, the Heat, and the Golden State Warriors

are all up there at the top of their divisions. You'd be wrong. That's what they said. I think it was Barkley who was like, the hardest part of my job is pretending that someone other than the Cavs and the Warriors have a shot. It's the Celtics, and I think the Warriors

are still on top of it. It is a player-driven league, for sure. I think that's what helps it, and that's what brings people to it. I don't think people necessarily – well, I guess they do. I just rebutted my own self in my head. That was odd. What were you going to say?

I was going to say I don't think people watch it because they want to see a good game. They just want to see their favorite player. But I guess that is the driving force in sports. come on all right look number one warriors are number one in the way the heat are not calves calves are number three heat number four in the east but nobody nobody okay so when you look at like the the powerhouse like heat the heat are not like a contender right they're just they're the east is a weak division like i don't know how you know much about basketball but east period just a weak division so like the only contenders really in in the east are the calves and the celtics like other than that you're not gonna get much

yeah blowback from that division it's it's it's the west the west is is top heavy and the east is not well it's a very superstar-driven sport. And so unlike hockey or football to a lesser extent, if you have LeBron James on your team, he can make a lot of subpar players look fantastic just by how much of a dominant athlete he is. Whereas in a sport like football, hockey, baseball, you can't really lean that much on one dude that's

why i like ufc so much because it is just one dude it's just one motherfucker that goes out there and it's all on his shoulders and on his brain floating around a millimeter of liquid it's i i don't know if you follow it or not but like uh they're talking about maybe stripping conor mcgregor of his lightweight title i don't't think they will. That's bad for business. He said he wants to fight in August. They're going to wait. But what they are doing is having Khabib and Tony Ferguson fight for the interim belt at the

next UFC event in New York. That's a rumor though, right? Not. Is it confirmed? As confirmed as it gets. Khabib said that he wouldn't fight for the title unless it was I'm sorry, he wouldn't fight unless it was for the title

He's like, I'm not going to go in there and fight for some interim bullshit It's official that they're fighting? Yeah But do we know We don't know what title it's for Why are they stripping Conor McGregor of his title? Because he hasn't fought since 2016.

He's healthy and he's not fighting. He's got a $100 million bag, that's why. He'll run through that, though. He got the fuck you money. He's not as rich as we... Okay, so I got to think about McGregor, right? First of all, he got a $100 million payday. That's the rumor.

And you'd think that would be so rich you couldn't run out of money but chop it in half because there's agents and taxes and all that stuff and now he's down to 40 yeah i'll say he cleared about 40 40 45 okay yeah yeah so 40 million this is a guy who's supposedly buying expensive cars tossing money like there's no limit to it if you live the the Conor McGregor lifestyle, you can run through $40 million. Lots of people have done it before him. Allen Iverson did it. I feel like you've got to just be a

special kind of irresponsible, though. When Allen Iverson sold his house to a teammate, and at the time Timberlands were in style, the boots, and they were... He had a closet full of... They would never go out of style especially in the East Coast man okay I don't know style anymore I got you bro his closet was full of me had 25 pairs of timberlands in there most of them never worn and when he packed up to move he

didn't bother he just left him there behind like 2500 come on yeah yeah but that 2500 at a time you will spend it that's like me not picking up a quarter though i hear what you're saying where connor gets like expensive is when he's the private jet bullshit if you're dropping 100 grand a weekend just on transportation um that that's the shit that gets out of hand real quickly if he's renting some villa that's like 30 grand a week or something flying all his friends in first class business class whatever that's that that kind of shit gets expensive but like all right so he made that 45 mil from the mayweather fight but it's not like that's the first time he ever made any money you know and it's not even counting the money he made from the promotion cut that he got from it.

That's what he got to go in there and do the fighting. He got a promoter's cut as well. He's had a whole career in the UFC. And he's got that Budweiser money, the Reebok money, all that shit. I see him in those Budweiser commercials where it's just him. It's just him walking down the street

like doing voiceover with fucking uh you know listening to his tunes and then he's got um he's got two or three deals like that i saw him doing a potato chip like king's potato chips yeah man like his movie is the biggest movie ever in ireland that's funny as a fan that's where he loses me like he tweeted at somebody some other fighter, like, I don't really care what you think. I got that Diddy money out of this whiskey deal. Apparently, P. Diddy also has an alcohol. I don't know. But I'm like, Ciroc.

Ciroc, yeah, the vodka. Okay. And yeah. Okay. I'll take your word for it. I don't see commercials. I don't watch television. I have Netflix, and I have YouTube Red.

He actually, he partnered, it's like the official liquor of the NBA. Like, it's, that was. Is this Diddy you're talking about? Diddy is better than basketball and vodka. I like an eight-ounce glass of syrup. There's been stupider sponsorships. Like, McDonald's was the official sponsor of the Olympics one year. Yeah, that's great.

But, like, Diddy's a brilliant marketer. He really is. Anyway, to lay it all out there, the fact that he's talking about how much money he's earning as a comeback to people who want to fight, he's a retired fighter. I'd strip him, get rid of him. I'm done

with him. He's lost me, and I love him. I'm hanging in there tight. He's going to fight this year. I think he's going to win. I hope he fights Ferguson because I do not want to see him fight Habib. Ferguson, I don't think Ferguson will try to take him down. Ferguson wants to beat him in standout. Ferguson's that kind of guy.

Not that he's not the kind of guy who could fight on the ground. He does everything. He's absurd. He's ridiculous. I like Tony Ferguson a lot. His whole work ethic ethic his weird style like it's funny to hear uh uh what johnny bravo or whatever like talk about him like there's this whole montage and he's like he's like he's into wing he's into wing chun he's into kung fu eddie bravo yeah yeah johnny bravo he's into this he's into that he's up in big bear

in high altitude building stuff he's like macgyver yeah i'm just like building tony up and it's all true he's up there up there in the mountains like building his own training grounds here's why i think connor's not fighting hang on to it this one everywhere he looks is an ass kicking if connor kills himself to get to 145 max holloway will will kick his ass. If Conor goes up back to 170, GSP will kick his ass. If Conor fights Khabib, that guy will wrestle fuck him and kick his ass.

If Conor fights Ferguson, he might kick his ass. And if I'm Conor, I'm getting a freaking shoe sponsor or something. None of those things are good for his brand. I think you can take Tony.

I don't think he can take Khabib. GSP is gone. GSP's got that colitis thing or some shit that he's using as an excuse, getting out of his two additional fight deal. He's gone. He took his money and bolted. And I

don't know what would happen if he went down to 145. Behind every door for Conor is a different ass-kicking. I don't believe Conor wins any of those. Of course I'm wrong about him. It seems like you guys both know way more about UFC than me, but it seems like compared to other sports, there's such a short window of the all-stars ever since it's gotten way bigger. Because I remember back in the day, I still didn't follow that close,

but they'd be like, oh, you know, fucking shamrock or whatever he's been beating ass forever oh uh that guy who was in the expendables who's a terrible actor involved with the fucked up ears uh he's he beats the shit out of people what the hell is that guy randy couture randy couture oh he beats shit on but now like it's gotten to a critical mass of popularity that people are getting dethroned every six months. Will anyone ever topple Ronda Rousey? Oh, we did. Twice. That's so true. Will anyone beat Conor McGregor?

Oh, do you know what I mean? Mayweather really handled him. I guess that's different because to be serious. You're totally right, though. No one seems to be a shooting star with the exception of maybe Jon Jones. And Amanda Nunez. The next fight is now that Cy cyborg is beating up hollyholm amanda nunez is going to fight cyborg in brazil who wins that fight cyborg i don't i don't even care i have no idea about ufc like i'm some This is all brand new to me.

Oh, I thought you did. Okay. When in doubt, I always bet on whatever guy seems like he's more Eastern European. Because those guys seem to really beat the shit out of each other. Dude, that's Habib. Habib is from fucking Dagestan. They call him the Eagle. In 1997, as a child, he's wrestling bears.

There's video of the man wrestling a bear as a child. It's hilarious. He don't think I can beat a wolf. That's crazy. Well, these were trained bears. I think you can take the wolf. I honestly do think you can take the wolf. Yeah, I want my money.

Especially like a medium-sized wolf. I had a friend who was a green. No way he gets to take on an everyday wolf. That's not fair. I had a friend that beat up a pit bull. You want to put me with the alpha that's crazy because you're an alpha it's a compliment but it was like a fifth as strong as a wolf that's true i guess you know but but he beat up the pit bull using a tactic that i that i that i saw a man here describing on twitter he he grabbed it by the jowls you you know, like on either side of its jowls, and lifted it up off the ground,

and then just chokeslammed the dog down to the ground. The dog can do shit. Yeah. I mean, if you're quick enough to... Then he bit it. Grab the... Just to teach it a lesson, huh? Yeah.

In the middle of a party, with, like, people watching, he chokeslammed this lady's dog and bit it on the nose. That's insane, actually. That guy also accidentally shot himself in the foot with a 1911, like 45 ACP. And he was in the Marines at the time.

He didn't want to get in trouble. So he just neosporined that shit up and wrapped it up in ace bandage and kept going. Good for him. That kind of goes together. So this might be a stupid question. It's our specialty. What's the difference between UFC and MMA?

Oh, UFC, it's like saying what's the difference between the NFL and football, right? UFC is the premier organization, but MMA is the sport. Well, there you go. That was a stupid question. No, no, it's all good. At least I know it now. And then one thing to keep in mind is like each of the organizations have slightly varied rules about what you can do there are some

organizations where you can or you used to be able to like stomp people in the face while they were down and soccer ball kick people in the face while they were down uh and you know the cage is something they do in the ufc they do it pretty much everything now right because the rules are slightly different in college or Canada. But by and large, same sport. Yeah, yeah. You got an advice question from a patron, didn't you?

Yeah, so I'm excited about this one. I think it'll be cool. We need the board's life experience. Hey, Woody, I'm in a really screwed up situation, and you're literally the only person I think who I can trust enough to get advice from. I can't call my family or friends

and I used to watch Mail Monday all the time. So this guy, I don't want to give away any critical stuff. He's a young adult, but an adult. And he's been in his first real relationship ever for the last couple of months. The girl is really great and I care about her a lot. But a few days ago she told me that her

ex-husband cheated on her and gave her herpes. The problem is, we've been having unprotected sex since the beginning of the relationship. Mainly, we told each other that we've been tested. Raw doggit! Mainly because we told each other we've been tested recently and we're on birth control. So she lied.

She said she was tested. Oh, what a bitch! I know that probably wasn't the smartest choice to make but i trusted her and unfortunately i have a hard time finishing with condoms so i said fuck it i'm gonna get tested soon we all do i'm gonna get tested soon and she's moved her stuff out of my apartment that there's part of me that wants to give her a second chance but the longer i think about it the more i convince myself that something like this should be unforgivable she claims that she for certain she didn't give it to me because she hasn't had symptoms in years and after some research it seems like transmission rate is really low. But the main issue is this is a massive breach of trust. I feel betrayed and if she does

as if she doesn't respect me enough. She keeps telling me I can't understand how hard it is for her to tell people about this secret and especially someone she cares so much about me but in my eyes if she cared about me she would have told me so it's hard for me to tell then that that's okay but she shouldn't have lied and started the relationship having unprotected sex countless times so I'm almost wrapped up I guess I need to hear from someone I can trust and give their opinion on all this because I said there's no way I can go to my father or

friends about this it's just too embarrassing for both me and her. Would I be crazy to give her a second chance? Do I need to end it as a matter of principle, no matter what I want to do? She's obviously very sorry and knows she's messed up, but honestly, I don't know if I could completely forgive her or not. And then if we get back together, I'll always have the thought of getting herpes in the back of my mind. And then the rest of it gets a little specific. I don't want to like dox him, but his life situation is going to change in that he's probably moving before too long. All right.

So can I go? I know the question's for you, but can I go first? I hope we all go. Yeah. You could go last and you could be like, you could be like the judge and we're your deliberators. So, yeah, she's absolutely right. Like unless she's having an outbreak, the transmission load is pretty much zero.

You don't have to worry about it. And even if you had it, you know, a couple of pills and you straighten that shit right out. It's permanent. Yes, the virus is permanent, but the outbreak goes right away with some pills. It's a couple of days and you're back to normal. No big deal. All right? Now, this was something that—

This is bafflingly bad information. It's my turn. It's my turn. Kyle's throwing herpes. Carry on. Okay. All right, Kyle. All right.

First turn. Sir. All right. The reason she didn't tell you is because she cares about you. She was worried about jeopardizing her relationship with you and losing you. And she knew that there was no chance of her transmitting it to you. Or she'd have either come out and told you, you know, I'm having an outbreak. You don't believe that shit, bro.

Or you'd have seen it. You'd have seen it. Like, it's not like a freckle. Like, shit's going down. What'd you do? Did you just sit on some honeybees today? What happened down there? So first I'm going to need a picture

of her vagina. You can send that over to Chiz. He'll forward it to me. Is this in any vagina? Because if this is a top tier any vagina, then you gotta hang on to that. You gotta hang on tight. Because she's not gonna leave you. You can hang on to this

forever. She's got nowhere to go. And you can tell her. If she ever does try to leave you, you'll out her. You'll tell everybody that she's got the herp. This is sociopathic and incorrect. In every way. Like, first of all, you can transmit herpes

when you don't have an outbreak. Listen to this answer. I just linked the CDC. That's not propaganda. Oh, the government. Yeah. Oh, the government trying to make sure you don't get itchy genitals.

Yeah, no. Of course. And Jesse Ventura knows best. Like, you... This is ridiculous. Like, of course, Jesse Ventura knows best. Like, this is ridiculous. Like, this dude, like, you may like her a lot, but that's an enormous breach of trust from the start of the relationship. And if it's founded on lies, you can't, like, if a lie that big, how do you think she's going to feel about subsequent lies? Oh, I could tell him that I'm just going out with friends and I'm not doing this and that. Oh, well, I already lied about having herpes, so this is a much smaller thing.

So you can get it. You definitely want to get tested. You're good. You deserve better for the— You asshole. You deserve better than this chick. You bastard Kyle test. You deserve better than this chick.

She lied to you. I'll take a look. I'll clear you. It's the vaginal request. That's how you get tested. The clinic of Kyle. These are free services that I offer. Taylor

has sent me many a dick pic and I've cleared him. Every time. That's fair. That's true. But for herpes, yeah, that's a huge lie. Not cool at all on her part. That's a betrayal of trust. And you may have herpes for the rest of your life now. And so he's like, oh, that's a huge lie. Not cool at all on her part. That's a betrayal of trust. And you may have herpes for the rest of your life now.

And so he's like, oh, it's so difficult to tell people. It's like, oh, well, thank you for potentially giving me the opportunity to have that conversation multiple times in the future. You don't tell people. It's like hepatitis, you know? You just keep it secret. Oh, Jesus. It's like a little bit of hep C. Who doesn't have some?

You know, I learned recently with hep C, so there's a pill now that cures Hep C. But apparently that pill is literally like 50 grand a pop or something, like something crazy like that. No, you're thinking of emergency. You mix that in water and help get rid of colds. Ah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, clearly I'm wrong. Cold, hepatitis C, it's all the same.

Aaron, where are you on this man's life advice so so i wasn't clear does he have herpes or does he not know he has herpes right now yeah he doesn't yeah he doesn't know he's going to get tested he's gonna get tested all right so it's tough man so i would say you wait until you get the results and here's why i said because obviously she definitely betrayed you in a major way and could have given you a lifelong gift for sure. But I'm a very forgiving human being because I've done a lot of dumb shit in my life. So they're young adults. You do dumb shit.

So as long as you understand what you've done i i it depends on their relation the nature of their relationship too so we don't know those kind of semantics like were they really close did he feel like this was the one because all i was telling my girl this the other day all the relationship is all love is is like who can you tolerate for a long period of time who can put up with your shit and then can you put up with their shit that's all it ends up being so is it is this someone that can put up with your shit and you can put up with her shit for a long period of time who can put up with your shit and then can you put up with their shit that's all it ends up being so is it is this someone that can put up with your shit and you can put up with her shit for a long period of time you have to make that distinction because at the end of the day if you guys are meant to be and you guys are all in love and you're gonna have children and marriage and have a beautiful life together there's really no point you can both could have herpes it doesn't

matter at that point yeah right so is this someone you are willing to have herpes with for the rest of your life? If it's not, you got to check out. If it is, I mean, people fuck up, man. As long as she understands what she did wrong. If it's a genuine, like, I'm sorry I fucked up and she's really broken up like he said she was. I don't see a reason why it's a hold y'all back. Especially if you if you don't have if you don't have it it's a plus and she just fucked up but it it definitely is like yo that's strike one and two though and also make sure that it's that she got tested for genital herpes and she didn't just get a genital herpes outbreak because i get

cold sores right no stick with me here i get cold sores which is? No, stick with me here. I get cold sores, which is like type 1 herpes or whatever. It's not that. And I went down on a girl, and her genitals broke out with herpes, right? But it wasn't permanent genital herpes. It was just type 1 jumping off on her pussy for a week, and now she's all good. Not sure that's how that works. That's exactly how it works. That's like the garbage-making stars thing.

Get out of here with that chiz. Chiz, Google that shit. Don't you just nonchalantly be like herpes. Chiz is wrong there. Herpes is not just herpes. I'm going to go ahead and say I don't know enough about herpes to refute that guy. But that doesn't sound like herpes can jump off your lip onto a box. Kyle, I don't know enough to dispute any of this, but I don't believe it.

You want to bet? You want to bet? Because I seen it. I seen it. All you know is that she had a herpes outbreak and it went away. Herpes does that. Can you clarify part of the question? He got it from her and she got it from her ex-husband?

So he doesn't know if he got it from her and she got it from her ex-husband uh so he doesn't know if he got it from her and she got it from her faithful ex-husband okay unfaithful unfaithful i was like i was like that so the fact that he described himself as a young adult and then this woman that he's with age i just made it more anonymous yeah yeah i don't i don't want to you know i'm just inferring here if his partner is already had a marriage 25 she's probably a bit older than him right and that would play into a power dynamic of she probably thought that she could get away with lying to him for it like look at you psychoanalyzing this chick with no relevant information you just told all of our listeners that you can't get herpes from having sex with

someone who's not on outbreak yeah so in the in the fake news realm oh come on it's like i mean it says it on the cdc website look woody is much more likely to explode mid-air one day than he than this person is from his girlfriend who's not presenting any uh any signs and having an outbreak can i take my turn that's like she's gonna her vagina's gonna have to bleed into a cut on your dick or something this is just silliness no it's not happening i'm definitely gonna google how to get herpes after this though for sure but vaginas bleed and i don't know dicks already have openings there is a risk here are we doing me now i didn't hear it you're quite right be on my team. Are we doing me now? I didn't hear you.

So here's the thing. For me, all of it hinges on the last part. He said that, remember I said there were life circumstances that were going to separate them anyway. To me, get tested. If you have herpes, I guess keep fucking her for the next period of, you know, between, you know, one and 12 months. Because you like her and, you know, she'll be your last girlfriend before you start the next period of you know between you know one and 12 months because you like her and you know she'll be your last girlfriend before you start the next stage of your life if you don't have serpies herpes then run you know count your blessings get out of there and uh you know it

you were gonna move on anyway yeah i think that's that's definitely the thing if you don't have herpes yet it's tough you do have herpes yet, cut and run. If you do have herpes, have a little more fun sex and then cut and run. And for all those people out there, if you do have herpes, man, let other people know you have herpes, man. It's not cool. Oh, did you hear in California, they made it legal now you don't have to inform someone that you have HIV before you're HIV positive, before you have sex with them. Yeah, it's no longer illegal.

It's not a felony to fuck someone knowing you're HIV positive and that you could give them HIV. California is like the new Florida, right? Like, they're trying to be the most idiotic state. What is the reasoning behind that? Like, what? I mean, I guess that they're saying there's there's no shame for you know hiv it just means that you were irresponsible and you know whatever like

but still you should have to tell people i'm not judging people how they get it because different circumstances arise like there's there's rape there's drugs there's whatever i don't whatever the case may be so i'm not judging you because you have it but if you have it accept that responsibility unless somebody you're sleeping with know that's bullshit. Yeah, that's infinitely worse than herpes. Oh, yeah, for sure. That's what I'm saying. Herpes is like, all right, you can fucking partner with that.

But if it's HIV, that's a life changer. It is. I don't think it's a death sentence so much anymore. People can let you go, man. Here's what I wonder, though. Is it a financial death sentence? How expensive is it to have HIV treatment for the rest of your life? You have to take pills on top of pills on top of pills.

I know somebody with it, and they live their life normally. It's not this detrimental, I'm dying kind of thing anymore. Except he has two mortgages. One for pills, one for his house. It's a real thing. So I don't understand that line of logic of where you get to the point where you're like, now you don't have to tell anybody

that you have that anymore. That's bullshit. Yeah, 18 grand a year. 18 grand for 48 weeks of treatment. That is two mortgages. That's insane. If I could somehow fuck someone into having, fuck them into having an ironclad contract on a car lease for $18,000 a year, that would not be okay with me.

I would fuck them, and I'd be like, oh, God, that was great. By the way, you now are the proud leasing owner of a 2018 Yukon XL. See you later. Fully loaded. The world of being a woman, Taylor. Yeah, fully loaded. Keyed seats, air-conditioned seats. This seems like a good segue into Squarespace

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If you have a hobby you want to take pro, it starts with Squarespace. Get your domain, set yourself up, let people know about you. Yeah, absolutely. I gotta be careful about the jokes I make about the advertisers. I'm holding back so hard.

Sometimes we don't get paid. Sometimes we don't get paid. Squarespace, you need to let me know. Can I make some? You get paid in laughs. You get paid so i got square space you need to let me know can i can i make some i i can't get paid in laughs yeah yeah those don't those don't translate well so i tried to give the electric company some laughs last week i knock knock and they were like lights off it just didn't work our power went out yesterday i am am such a dumbass. I'll explain. So we bought a nice generator in the fall. And as a proper dumbass, that's where my efforts ended. I'm not a bad electrician.

Like, I wired up our stable, did some videos on it. And I have my brother as an actual electrician to kind of, like, hold my hand whenever I have questions and such. And he told me, like, hey, don hey don't just like it's called back feeding don't just back feed your generator into the sub panel that's not that safe and so I interpreted that as don't do anything well the power went out yesterday and now I'm not ready you know now the power is out and my wife is like we bought the generator and she's you know like getting on me in the dark about it and we should do something before the sun goes down and it's like

that's 45 minutes away vampires are coming so i get to it you know i have this big extension cord i chop the end off of it i put on like a dryer plug so i can back feed turn the sub panel off because i don't want to electrocute some lineman and and wire it all up we fire up the generator and I plug it in and all the lights of the house start blinking they're going on and off they just like power and I'm like come on generator like I feel like once it gets past the curve everything will start working better and I'm right you know the lights stop blinking. The house appears to have power. We turn it off and we saw the smoke in the laundry room. And that was really concerning.

I don't know where this smoke is coming from. Doesn't smell like a healthy smell. And I shut the generator off. And now we're running around the house like, which room smell like fire? Well, it's the server room and the laundry room so i don't know what the hell to do i go to the crawl space and start looking for you know things i can't see everything seems fine fix it's a little insulation whatever go back up the smells are dissipating mostly i don't know actually what happened in the laundry room but in the server room the ups got totally fried it doesn't work anymore. This is a $1,000 mistake so far.

I don't know where this story goes. I shut things off. We have another UPS sitting around, but it's not good enough. I'm sorry. What's a UPS? Unadaptable power supply. It's kind of like a safety measure. I thought you'd kill the package delivery

man. My mistake. Not everyone worked in it so uh military people do that i'll circle back around to that um okay civilian so uh and then for whatever reason the fireplace there's a fan that blows it the little variable speed fan control busted so i spent the rest of the night shopping for things that i broke by back feeding into the panel like a jackass that was my day does not sound fun no really sucked back to the acronym thing have you ever talked to military people and they don't talk about their mos and they have to pcP somewhere and whatever it is. Well, I was eating an MRI and then our head gunner saw a CT over on the horizon, about three clicks east

and then the CDC, it's like, God damn it. Know your audience. Everyone else in the world caters what they're saying to their audience but I feel like military guys almost purposely exclude them. My friend was moving, but he wasn't moving. He was PCing somewhere

or something. I don't know what the freaking term is. I've forgotten it. It's the same thing in every professional sphere. Even the business world. People will bust out acronyms like that that aren't helpful to try and save two seconds. Then you're sitting there in your head like, oh yeah, that's what they

mean. But then there's six words ahead. Very, very uncouth. I don't like it. But you can't ever say, what's that mean mean but then there's six words ahead very very uncouth i don't like it but you can't ever say what's that mean because then they'll go oh you don't know what a what the fuck is you know so you don't want that uh this this article i want to get your guys thoughts on whether this guy's an asshole because i've made my decision already i've made my decision as well are you gonna do a do a read? I'm just going to describe what he did. So basically this douche... Damn it, gave away my answer.

So basically this guy didn't want to pay $50 to bring his clothes and luggage on a plane, and so he wore like 8 or 10 layers of all his clothes and then tried to get on the plane, and they said, no, you can't get on the plane. And they said, no, you can't get on the plane because you basically made yourself into a big fat person. He's going to take up like two seats or whatever.

And you've only paid for one. And he was saying like, Oh, that's not fair. You can't do that. That's ridiculous. You said I had to either bring the clothes on or pay the luggage fee. And I wore them all.

And it's like, first of all, this is clearly a publicity stunt unless this guy balloons in weight between his current size and 50 pounds heavier by the day. Because whatever fucking pants he pulled on eighth do not fit. Those do not fit his actual body. He's not going to be able to wear those on his trip. This is a stunt, and this guy wanted to be kicked off a plane so he could, like, get some Twitter followers.

These kind of people – and think of all the man hours and minutes wasted as people were just sitting on this plane trying to go, trying to go visit family, trying to go to a work trip or whatever, while this smarmy douche, biting his lip, coy look into the camera, like, what are you going to do? Are you sure you're laying this out with the least bias possible? No, this is my bias. This is the way I perceive it.

So, yeah, this guy is a prick. They should have banned him from the airline, and they should have seized seven layers of his clothes for their trouble. The bottom seven. The bottom seven, and he's got to go out of there with some giant ill-fitting camp t-shirt and some parachute pants. Yo, why are you so passionate about this guy, man? Because I can picture myself sitting on the plane adjacent to him and watching someone doing their little joke and looking at everybody else on the plane who's got shit to do, places to go.

And it's like, God, it didn't even cross your mind that this little stunt is phenomenally inconsiderate to everyone else who has something to do that day. How long was the plane delayed it's more than any amount of time it's too long this is this is why i ask because i see people on um i'm not saying uh you're this pretentious but i see people on planes um all the time and like like they'll be defrosting the plane or there's a mechanical issue they have to gas it or whatever and it's like a 20-30 minute delay and people it or whatever, and it's like a 20, 30-minute delay, and people lose their fucking minds. It's bullshit. I'm like, yo, go build a plane.

It's the most convenient way to travel ever, and you're sitting here on your high horse thinking you can get there faster somewhere if 40 minutes is going to go by. Just sit down and shut the fuck up. That's different, though, because if they're spraying ice off of the plane, I want them to take as much time as they need to make sure the plane is going to be safe in the air. I don't want to be like, oh, just half-ass it.

Get us up there. That needs to be done. This guy is not serving any purpose. He just threw on a bunch of clothes to get on a PerthNow.com. Would you rather have to sit next to this guy or a man who weighed 400 pounds? This guy. Oh, this guy.

Yeah, because I don't know what it is about 400-pound people. I just assume they're kind of slimy. Literally. Literally. Yeah, literally. I'm not talking about personality-wise. I just think if you touch them, they're kind of greasy. It's both.

They're very sticky folk. Right? They look like if you threw a handful of sand at them, a lot of it would just stick. It would create like a paste. Our friend had MRSA in one of his folds, right?

That's a cleanliness issue, right? Really? Yeah. I just assume it's a little dirty under there. The anterior fold on his thorax. Yes. Yeah, if you're that big, I think you've got hygiene issues too.

If you're familiar with caterpillar anatomy. It was like the torso version of a labia majora. Yeah. He was growing a pussy on his side. A very smelly pussy. When they drained it in the doctor's office, because he blogged this shit. He's got a camera on him while they're draining this thing.

It smelled so bad they had to open the door. Yeah, in an operating room. They had to air it out to the outdoors. That was good shit, man. That was good shit. I love that video. I watch that every now and then. I feel so much better about myself god that brightens my whole day up

brightens my whole fucking day i'm like oh at least when my flaps wasn't infected geez that's a that's like what a tlc shows will do for you too like because like all tlc tlc shows seem to be like these shows that are basically gawking at freaks, but they're masquerading around like they're helping people. Like, hey, watch this little person family go about their business and whatnot. And they're like, wow, and look at the struggles they face. It's like you just spent three minutes trying to get up into a truck. You're gawking.

You could have helped if that were a thing. Building codes make their counters normal people height. Yeah, they struggle. Taylor, did you hear what Chiz calls wings now? No, I'm sure it's... It's probably not for public. I'm scrolling.

Low blood sugar daddy. Low blood sugar daddy. Low blood sugar daddy. Sugar daddy. His blood sugar daddy low blood sugar daddy sugar daddy because you know because his blood sugar controls his life as he has said in his in his streams and you know he's he made it rain on on those lady friends of his low blood sugar daddy i really got a kick out of that well that's an interesting pun well yes yes i still feel bad ah no come on don't feel bad we're gonna do wings versus blade later you gotta hang on tight

you're gonna just fly off the centrifuge I'm like a guest that can't keep up with the show at this point you see his eyes he's like oh we're gonna do that so we were talking about sprouting pussies on yourself there's a south park about that where Stan goes like So we were talking about sprouting pussies on yourself, you know, on your torso.

There's a South Park about that where Stan goes, like, vegan or something and starts growing vaginas all over him to, like, save the veal or whatever. Arian, I know for a while you were vegan. Did you stop because it was just, like, you started to feel shitty after the initial, like, climax of goodness, or did you just kind of be like, I can't deal with a strict diet anymore? No, I was, it wasn't for any kind of real purpose other than, like, I just, I think it was my lady at the time was cooking chicken. And I was like, fuck it, I want some chicken.

And I just never went back i'm not like i'm not i'm not like against the lifestyle but it's just extremely hard to prep for meals day in and day out like in this society because it's every i mean think about everything a sporting event a birthday a holiday it's all centered around food and somehow centered around meat thanksgiving christmas everything is centered around me yeah the good shit yeah it is it's just better tasting and it's it's more yeah it's more tasteful it's um i didn't feel any effects as far as like uh i know it definitely cleans you out like if you if you live a plant-based life, it will clean you out. You do feel healthy.

I wasn't for animal rights or anything like that. Not that I'm against animal rights. We're against them, yeah. We want to make it what little rights they have. I hope you fuck up a wolf. Those chickens live lavish lives. Yeah, I just wasn't after a while I just

stopped caring about trying to do it because I figured like if and the research is just so it's just everywhere I think at the end of the day everything in moderation so like don't go the extreme on any side so at the end of the

day I just didn't care that much if it did end up saving my life for two years like i was just like fuck it i'm gonna live those this this life with you know two less years but i'm gonna enjoy it and i'm gonna do it how i feel it's gonna make me most happy so i just did there wasn't no real reason did you do a vegetarian or vegan because vegan you can't even have cheese. Yeah, I did vegan. It was tough at first because a couple of my favorite things to eat are eggs and cheese.

I love eggs. Not a good diet choice for you. It's not bad. Even now, sometimes I'll go because it's hard to stay on a diet now as a retired athlete because you're used to eating a lot of calories and so you have to scale it back and then you have to kind of find your own routine

again right because i was forced into a routine as a professional athlete but when you're when i was when i was eating healthy and eggs were a huge part of my diet anyway and i used to put like mozzarella was a good cheese of my choice and so it was both of those were huge parts of my diet anyway and i used to put like mozzarella was it was a good cheese of my choice and so it was both of those were huge parts of my diet and cutting them out was extremely hard i only did it for like seven months and it was in 2012 and it's 2018 and i still get people coming to me today like are you still vegan like nah man it's that ship has sailed did you uh like get a huge influx of vegan people who liked you and followed your shit and then when like you took a picture of like a rib one day was it just like an

avalanche of what have you done oh man it's like you have your like it's pretty much a daily you have you have a spectrum so when i first got on overwhelming amount of support i was like this is awesome amazing i'm gonna live this lifestyle and then. I was like, this is awesome, amazing. I'm going to live this lifestyle. And then when I was like, ah, it's not really for me anymore. Some people were like, you know, this is not for you. But then I would say 60% of them were like, you fucking traitor. And it was just ruthless.

Like, you're an animal killer. It was just like, Jesus Christ, bro. It was intense. animal killer like it was just like jesus christ bro it was intense yeah like i have never even had more than like maybe three conversations with a vegan in my entire life so really the whole like they're so annoying is kind of a trope because like i i wouldn't know unless they told me for the most part but it's mainly just the the unearned moral superiority that you get from people like that sometimes. Where like, you know, if it's because you want to work for your diet or like you really care about animals, fine. But don't judge the rest of us for eating chickens, for eating cows.

Like, we are omnivores. We're meant to eat meat. And I don't know where I stand on that, actually. I know, I think, what is it? When we started eating, I think it was omega-3 or something like that. It was in fish. That's when our brain, and this is what science says, like our brains kind of took the leap past our common ancestors. So I'm not sure if we're meant to.

After we branched off in our intellect. I'm talking about evolutionarily. I'm not sure if we're meant to because I'm not super against animal rights. I don't think I could ever kill a pig just for bacon, but I'm going to buy bacon at the store. So I'm removed from the process so like if i had to i could be a vegan if i had to because i i animals feel pain like they definitely do i'm not morally i'm not sure where i stand on that like it's it's tough but we live in a society where we don't win in rome and that's just where i'm at with it right now i i'm not sure

it's a moral thing to do i don't i don't know what I'm kind of on the fence about that how about like fish though yeah I mean same thing do fish feel pain I thought they only had like the receptors to sense discomfort or like negative stimuli but they didn't actually register pain the way we do I know lobsters do I they just came out with that study that lobsters do. Lobsters feel pain. Yeah, but that's a Swedish study. We don't know what's going on up there. It's hard, unless you've been a fish, to know how they're feeling about it.

And to be frank, I don't care. That was so sweet, though, the way you said it. It's hard to be a fish. You don't know if you're... Because I feel like everything feels pain. Pain is just a way to stop you from hurting yourself oftentimes. You get a cut, you get burned,

you pull off of that. Wouldn't fish need that too? Otherwise, they'd be cut up constantly. Running through the briars and stuff down there. Fish are notoriously not bright. I really feel like you're being kind of fishist. You're just – you're fishist. No, I could easily be a pescatarian.

Like fuck the fish and all the crustaceans and the mollusks and all that shit. What the hell is a pescatarian? I don't know. You only eat fish. Yeah. I could totally see – like I see those videos on Reddit of people petting a cow and the cow's like, like a dog.

They're just like, oh yeah, little buddy. Oh yeah. They're scratching its head. It's just like, oh. It's just loving it. I saw one the other day where a pig was eating those mini pigs and the girl's feeding it a banana and the pig's going, it's like loving

that fucking banana so much you could it's it's it's a pig the pig is smiling because of the banana it's loving and it's going and she like rubs its belly and it goes it's like oh shit that little motherfucker's got a personality oh shit damn i've killed so many of those things. So many. I've actually killed them, though. Really? Like you've really killed pigs? Oh, yeah, yeah. How did you kill them, Kyle?

For what reason? For fun. I've shot them with machine guns. I've blown them up. I've killed them with knives. You for real? Yeah. This is FPS Russia you're talking to. Yeah, I've killed a with knives. You for real? Yeah. This is FPS Russia you're talking to.

Yeah, I've killed a lot of pigs. You know, pig hunting in Texas, and it's really whatever you want to do there. There's really no laws. If those pigs are going to put Kyle in a self-defense situation, he's got to do what he can to protect himself. Hey, I was just up there in my helicopter minding my own business. Okay?

And they started... They were trying to take me down out of the air they were rigging up some sort of catapult some sort of pig pult and we had the machine oinking very aggressive oinking yeah yeah i but but those are different kinds of pigs those are like feral wild boars and russian boars and shit like that they're much much uglier than the pigs that we eat. I like bananas. I probably would love bananas. I was just reading your college career Wikipedia

section. What's it like being a big-time athlete at a big-time sports school? I saw you had some success, then you had some hardships. You got the full range of the experience. On campus, they like praising you constantly are they critical of you or you just showered in love and attention what's the experience

right it's it's it's up and down and i uh there's a lot of different experiences people have because you're fighting so many um different waves of of of thought so a lot of people think oh you get it easy because you're an athlete but because of that stigma there were definitely uh professors and and uh faculty who made it harder on you because you're an athlete and they felt that you were getting a a shot that you wouldn't necessarily get if you didn't play a sport and then with that the your peers student body i mean it's kind of it's kind of a little bit of the same but you get a lot more love because

they're a lot more liberal thinking i don't say liberal but they're a lot more loose and they're thinking of of why you're there um as as far as the institute i was i was a little bit off brand in in college as well because i felt like we were getting fucked royally and that was always in the back of my head and i kind of let that um uh fester and by who by the the ncaa the ncaa ncaa so i'm an advocate for paying uh collegiate athletes it's a billion billion dollar business and they taking all the profits and they say well you're getting a free education and that's what you should that's what you should be happy that's not your market value it's bullshit right and we all love capitalism until it's time to pay the employees

right and it's still it's probably probably the only billion dollar business where the interns are the product right and so that all that's going on and i like my coaches are pulling up in lexus's and they have these we they excuse me they have these homes these hundred thousand dollar homes million dollar homes and they invite us to go eat um for different celebrations or whatever and i'm just looking and it's like a lot of guys are like happy to be there and i'm like disgusted and i'm like you made this off the backs of 18 year olds. Right. And granted, I'm a little different than most guys in that respect. But so for the most part on the content, your question on college campus, I got a mixed bag. I enjoyed a lot of it, but then I hated a lot of it because of that aspect.

I hated the leverage that coaches had on you and your future. I hated I hated the facade of education that we got. I couldn't study the courses that I wanted to study because I wanted to take astronomy, but those courses conflicted with my football schedule. So I couldn't take those courses. So I ended up settling for philosophy. So I was a philosophy major. And even then, by the time I picked my major by the time I knew I was gonna focus on on football not my studies like you're just kind of disinterested in the whole like I said facade of academia that you're there for so it was like a mixed bag of things on top of the celebrity like that must be you're young to handle celebrity as a right right college athlete i mean it's fun at first i'm gonna lie so you're 18 19 years old and people know who you are you're walking through the mall

of course the female aspect of it definitely took advantage of that in in college um uh didn't get herpes thank thank god but uh it's it's something that if you're not grounded it can get the best of you and i saw get the best of some guys to where they really start believing the hype i always knew it was a facade because like you don't really like me you just like the way i run around and and it's very this game you wouldn't know who i was yeah and i knew that but i i took advantage of of the opportunities that i had because of it but i just knew knew there was no longevity in it. The fame was going to fizzle out eventually. What's the fix for NCAA then? I mean, I've never heard anything about them actually paying students, so I doubt that's on the horizon, but what is the fix in your mind to make it more fair? What is the fix in your mind to make it more fair?

I think you pay the athletes. And I think there's economists and scholars who can argue back and forth on how we distribute the wealth fairly. But there definitely has to be a system set up where those kids are getting paid somehow and if not like if you look at if say whoever the most popular college kid and i think baker mayfield just won the heisman trophy and this is really the first year i've ever watched college i've not ever but i've watched college football since i've been in the league i just kind of started being a fan of football again this year but baker mayfield was the he won the heisman trophy i believe but if he wanted to go and he he's in college he wanted to go get uh thirty dollars per signature if

somebody wanted to somebody wanted to pay him thirty dollars to sign a football helmet uh he couldn't do that that's breaking ncaa rules and they're going to revoke his rights to play in in the ncaa like that's bullshit you're actually taking away his constitutional rights for this uh amateurism clause that you made like why are they amateurs because we don't pay them why don't we pay them because they're amateurs it's this circular reasoning that they use which just has no logic and no weight and and it's it's it's branding people people buy it because that's just what they've been told for years but it's it's tricky though right that would impact recruiting in a big way. Like, say I'm at a well-funded school like Tennessee.

Suddenly it's like, you come here, I'll get you a summer job at a car dealership that you don't have to go to that pays a quarter million dollars a summer. And now that's the way you recruit players, by paying them in sneaky ways through boosters and such. I guess maybe what's the harm i don't know it's not it's not sneaky though it's only sneaky because you've been sold that bill of goods that it's illegal to pay athletes but if it's not sneaky if i want to if when i came out in the nfl i lead the nfl in russia and then i go sign a shoe deal for two hundred thousand dollars right so if i have two hundred thousand dollars you don't find that sneaky but you find it sneaky for a college

athlete to do it only because they've set up those rules. It's not sneaky at all. It's capitalism. And that's why I tell people, either you like capitalism and the system we live in, or you don't. It doesn't matter how old these kids are. If I was to work at Wendy's at a high school and those kids weren't getting paid for their jobs, you'd have an issue with that.

But because these kids are college athletes, people have issues with that. I hear you. I wish I hadn't chosen that adjective. Oh, man. It would change college sports a lot. It would. It would. The bigger would get bigger, right?

The people who have the boosters now would be the successful ones. It would be worse than the NBA. And parity would be totally gone, right? Like this year, UCF has this oddball shot to go undefeated and have a really good season and crown themselves unofficial national champs or whatever. UCF wouldn't have a shot because all those players would go to USC and, you know, I don't know,

the states with the Alabama and LSU and the place with these giant boosters. No one would go to UCF. Yeah, there's – There'd be no parity. Just like out of college, you go to the job opportunity that gets you the most money. We just have to stop treating this like it's not a business, right? You have no problem with the IT guy coming out of a major engineering school or whatever and going to get the bet

going to Apple or going to Google that's where that's where the best jobs are so what's wrong with the kid going to USC because he's going to get $200,000 on the side of him playing football I'm not coming at it from like a good versus bad more of a I kind of like sports parody a little bit you know like the NBA has ways that like the worst team gets the best chance at a good draft pick. And this is what – you're 100% right, right? But this is the crux of why people don't want to pay college athletes. It's because they're not comfortable with it. I'm not comfortable with it not having an even playing field and all these players getting paid because then that will skew how recruiting is. Then that's skewing how it will change the product 100%.

And people don't want their product changed because they don't like that product getting paid. But what it is, it's a farm club. And people don't want to call it a farm club. But it's 100% a farm club. It's like an NFL minor league. That's all it is. It's a minor league.

But people don't want to treat it like that because we're just living in this pretend guise of, oh, they're amateurs. They're amateurs. And it's just like you said i understand that notion that you know i don't want the integrity of the game it's like but that integrity it's been gone like you these kids want to get paid man like as a kid growing up in the projects all i wanted to do was feed my family and i did that but like to pretend that like i have this school pride like i want to win for fucking coach whoever like it's bullshit nobody like I want to win for fucking coach whoever, it's bullshit.

Nobody, they want to get paid. They want to take care of the family. I got a different question. I want to do this. Why did you succeed in the NFL? And what is different about you? I saw your combine results and they weren't out of this world, right?

They launched a draft. And I'm sure there are other nfl guys who had bodies on par with yours or better right the other running backs what's the difference between you and guys who didn't get your results um the combine result is a great question but the combine results it's a it's a little misleading because I went to the senior bowl coming out of college, and I popped my hamstring at the senior bowl. And so I had to get some times on me, and I actually didn't run at the combine. I ran at my pro day, which was like probably two weeks after the combine. But I still wasn't fully healed from the injury from the senior bowl.

after the combine, but I still wasn't fully healed from the injury from the senior bowl. But even in taking all those things, I don't think my numbers would stack up with some of the combine freaks that would get amazing times. I think the difference is just in general with guys who succeed in the NFL and who don't succeed in the NFL is consistency. So are you willing to do the things day in and day out that make you better than somebody else? And a lot of the guys can't handle that free time because coming from the NFL, from college to the NFL,

you have no idea how much free time you're going to have on your hands. And they treat you like men in the NFL, and they don't in college, which is another reason why I hated college. But because you have classes, you have class checkers, you have study hall, you have this, you have things, you know, idle, a lot of idle time, not a lot of idle time in college, but in the NFL you do. A lot of guys can't handle that. A lot of guys can't handle all that, the money being thrown at them, the fame.

There's so many different variables, but it the guys that who who can stay consistent can stay somewhat humble and hungry and and i think those those three things are are the huge reasons why people are successful in the nfl i always tell people this i always tell people this the what i loved about the nfl which is kind of like a microcosm for life is like at the end of the day it's going to tell you who you are it's going to tell you who you are. It's going to show you who you are. If you're really good and you're really great, it'll eventually show you who you are. And if you're not, it'll definitely show you who you are at the end of the day. All right. So here's my question.

Alternative universe, right? Your senior year is amazing, right? You're a Heisman candidate or winner or something like that. You go at the top of the draft. You went undrafted, right? Yes. You go at the top of the draft. You went undrafted, right? Yes. Yeah. You go at the top of the draft instead.

How does that Arian Foster do in his first – in the NFL compared to the real one? That's a good question. But I think I do – No different? Yeah, I think I do just as well, if not better. I do. No different? Yeah, I think I do just as well, if not better.

Because if you look at in the juxtaposition of when I got my first big paycheck, when I signed my big deal, I signed my big deal, and then that next season I went to the Pro Bowl. The next season I got hurt, but the season right after that I went to the Pro Bowl the next season I uh I got hurt but the season right after that I went to the Pro Bowl again so I think it was I think like I said it's a it's a character trait after after a certain amount of money right it's something like you either want to do that shit or you don't want to do that shit and so at the end of the day I feel like me personally I would have I would have had the same success um just because that drive that drive was. I think it was just where I come from. I came from low-income family, drama-filled family who I'm not sure. A lot of us come from those circumstances where you're the breadwinner of your family,

and so that drove a lot of us to the success that we had. So when you first made a lot of money in the NFL, was there a splurge purchase that you made? Was there anything where you were like, you know what, I'm going to buy a $500 pair of sneakers, or I'm going to buy an $80,000 sports car? Was there a splurge moment? Maybe it was something small. Maybe it was like, a lady won the lottery who lived near me, and her splurge, it's not too crazy, but she got every single member of her family, and every one of them got a shopping cart at Walmart, which sounds like low end, right? That's dope. These are low income people, and it's like, no, every kid gets a shopping cart.

Fill it up. Do whatever you want. Toys, video games, go hog wild. Like 25 members of a family. Money orders. That would be what I would do. Fill up a shopping cart with money orders. She won $5 billion.

All five will fit in that cart. She's going to be owing me some. Ironically, man, I was never that guy. So I know it sounds super lame, but I really wasn't. The only thing that I did splurge on was, like, this shit that you see in here. So I got these Focal speakers, like this mic, this piano back here. It's a motif. So I did things to fulfill me. So it wasn't necessarily a splurge.

Like, I hate cars. I'm not a car guy. I it wasn't necessarily a splurge. I hate cars. I'm not a car guy. I've had the same car since I got in the league. Still, I don't buy cars. I wish I didn't have to have a car. What car is it? It's funny.

So until, let's see, so 2000, so when I went undrafted, I had to have some kind of vehicle. So my business manager flew down, and I didn't know how to rent a vehicle. I didn't know how to rent an apartment. I was wet behind the ears. And so we got me a 2007 or 2006 Dodge Charger. And so I drove that until 2011. In 2011, I got a truck from, we leasedased it we didn't lease it the it was an exchange so i did autograph signings for the for that dealership and they gave me a truck they didn't give it to me but they let me lease it so i had that for two years and afterwards my guy was like hey man you

need to buy a car like i don't need to do shit and so i held on for that as long as i could um then i had two kids and i was like all right man let man, let me be an adult. So I bought a car and I wanted something dependable and nice. So I did. I bought a Range Rover. It was like 80 grand. You wanted dependable, so you wanted Range Rover. You were doing so well.

But it's the funny thing, though. It wasn't dependable. So I got a G-Wagon. Got kids in the back, you know so so it's like so like i want i wanted something that i didn't have to like go buy i wanted something i'd have to buy like or fix in the long run so like i still have the same car today right it was in 2012 i've had i've had a car it really is though it has been great i haven't done a lot i haven't done a lot to it it's it's it's good on because you need a you need a oh this is

a quarter but you need a car with good shocks in houston because of the potholes here are crazy because it rains so much and so you need something with good shocks so i didn't want something i had to keep bringing in houston are you still in houston i was mentioned that crazy like shooting pigs from a helicopter thing earlier. That's where I did it, was in Houston. Dude, we were actually in the neighborhood where a lot of the Texans lived, they told us, shooting in a truck with silenced machine guns, shooting the pigs out of their yards. Right.

Yeah. out of their yards right yeah they uh one of my um my uh my uh sports uh pt uh physical trainer sorry about that so my phone my phone on my physical trainers i used to work at at houston uh they hit me and they asked me if i wanted to go hunting this was like two weeks ago actually and they said we're gonna like shoot some pigs out of a uh helicopter and i was like i was super on the fence about that shit i was like i i mean i had my kids that weekend so i can't i couldn't i couldn't go but uh i was definitely hesitant man dude it's the most fun you'll ever have they take us if you've ever seen a vietnam movie where like you know they're they're flying over those rice paddy fields and

it's just like that is that what you're pretending you're doing They're flying over those rice paddy fields. And da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da. It's just like that. Is that what you're pretending you're doing? Oh, absolutely. Blowing down the Biet Kong. Yeah, yeah. So, like, mentally, like, what's going through your head while you're offing these pigs? Like, what's going through your head?

Try to get a high score. Try to get a high score. Get as many as I can it's like how can I most efficiently massacre all of them it's so much fun you're not just killing them for the fuck of it these are pigs that are destroying crops

ruining farmers livelihoods that's absolutely true it's so gruesome that the helicopter company shows you a 30 minute video about how evil pigs are before they take you up in the air. Pig propaganda, huh? Yeah, it's pig propaganda.

They absolutely show you a pig propaganda film, and then you go up in a helicopter with whatever armament you want. They don't care what you take up there. There's no law. The law in Texas allows you to do just anything you want. You can use explosives. You can use machine guns. You can use anything you want to kill a man. And it's a lot of fun.

It's a lot of fun. That's insane. I couldn't imagine doing that. The pilots are so damn good. Like they'll put you really low, like right on the pick. And he can fly that helicopter sideways. So you're sitting in the passenger seat right next to him, just like in a car, and so he'll fly the thing sideways

with your seat advancing it forward at the exact same speed as the pigs are. So you're just looking down at them. They're like 50 feet below you, and you've got like a semi-automatic AR-15 or a machine gun, AK-47, whatever you want to take, shotgun and just really destroying them. Is it so easy

that it doesn't feel sporting? Absolutely, yes. Oh, so that's why they show you the propaganda video about how the pigs run banks or whatever they try to get. This is not hunting, this is shooting. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. There's no sport involved. You is shooting. Yeah, absolutely. There's no sport involved.

You're in a helicopter. It's not like you're all camouflaged up with deer scent on, hiding in a bush somewhere with binoculars. I like how it is so violent that this firm or company or whatever literally had to hire a Goebils version for pigs to like convince you to hate them before you go down exactly so so what do you do with do you do you eat the do you eat it after or just fuck it you leave them out in the field to rot oh my god they say that they said there's enough coyotes there that the coyotes will clean the bones up within a day or

two and the farmers don't mind because they're doing so much agricultural damage and the homeowners don't mind because like that like a week before we got there on one of our trips, they had went into some of the football players' yards that had like really nice sod yards. And they had done like 35 grand worth of damage to one guy's yard because they like put their noses and like root the grass all up looking for food. And they just destroyed this guy's yard. So everybody there was just like... So they deserved to die. Oh, yeah. They just destroyed this guy's yard. Everybody there was just like, come on.

They deserved to die. Oh, yeah. They definitely deserved to die. The big winner in this are those coyotes. Yeah, I guess so. And people like us that are like riding around with night vision and shit. Yeah, that was fun.

You had night vision goggles, bro? Yeah, yeah. Night vision goggles. That's even less fair. Pigs can't see at night, right? Not very well. Not very well. You haven't seen that video that we made with my cousin?

He's got Apache helicopter night vision goggles on. He's got the helmet on and the goggles that come down like Call of Duty and lock down in front of your eyes. His machine gun has an infrared laser on it that you can only see if you have those night vision goggles. It's not very sporting at all.

It's shooting. It's a real good time. It's like hunting at the zoo. It's exactly like that. We got out and fought that one with a knife that time. There was a little bit of sport to it, but this video I found, now that we're on the animal cruelty topic,

this is right up our fucking alley. I think McGumball... Is this cruelty, though? Yes. Let's see this. Oh, the goat loved it. Yeah. I mean, you don't know that...

I just need to know more about goat pussy. Let me read this a bit. Wait, what the hell? Oh, go ahead and read this, Kyle. Mbithy Muniao is accused of yanking the animals, goats, from a grazing area for the sickening two-hour session, which killed both of the farm animals. The pair died of exhaustion shortly after the incident, police say. Their, quote, broken bodies were presented as evidence before a shocked courtroom in Canyundo, Kenya.

They brought the dope brides? This week. Mugnano, who faces two bestiality charges, was arrested after his devastated mom reported him to authorities. What a rat she is. Court files said

after his mother raised the alarm, the suspect was apprehended by Chief Betuel Kingel, who handed him over to Kangunu Police Station. Area Assistant Chief Mary Moulois said that he molested

the animals over the weekend in the village about 50 miles from the capital of Nairobi. He repeatedly had intercourse with them until they died, she said, before warning others off from taking part in such revolting acts. Oh, my God. How long do you have to fuck a goat to kill it from exhaustion?

Two hours. And then why do you immediately move on to another goat? Well, when one, I mean, necrophilia is one step too far for this gentleman. How many times did he climax? Absolutely. Would you fuck a dead goat? No. Never.

Man. I'm trying to read this and see if he thought this was a cure for something. That's a thing in some areas where they think eating albino or something is good for you. It seems that this guy was just horny and all turned up

and wanted to fuck a couple goats to death. I'm not buying it. Who among us hasn't fucked a goat for at least a short while? You're not trusting news out of Kenya. Did you see what they were wearing? Totally naked, asking for it. Something ain't smelling right alright though, man. Imagine how much you had to fuck something to fuck it to death, and then you had to fuck two of them.

My wife is lucky to be alive. Two little girls. After the first one died from the fucking, she's like, that is a freak accident. That happened twice. Can you imagine him bragging about this story to a potential girl? She's like, so... They're on Kenyan Twitter called... I don't know.

I mean, Kenyan Tinder. The Bush. They're on there. She's like, are you good in bed? He's like, I once fucked two goats to death. Woo! Two goats,

you say? I don't believe it. I don't know why they blurred out part of the goats. But they showed that. Right, right. Did they not mention that like, oh, and at the end of this he slit the goat's throats or something?

No, man. He fucked those goats to death. I want to see this guy's dick. I saw this. You can expect it for gopis. I saw gopis. I saw this documentary, and I think it's in Colombia. There's a village where they go.

It's like a kind of a rite of passage for rite of passage for uh like puberty for men like all men in that village like like it was like it's like normalcy like so yeah you you fuck a goat like your first time you have to fuck a goat it's insane yeah like in a frat can you imagine like the first guy who got caught fucking a goat in colombia and like that you know silver tongue devil they're like you know enrique what the fuck he's like oh it's for virility you're telling me you're not fucking goat like i think about that shit i think like if he's gonna do it i trust him i think about that shit like think about the first person who had milk right like somebody had to do it first like first person to go to a cow eating do that, and then drink it.

It's just sick. You had to, like, fool everybody else into it. Like, try this. What is it? Just drink it. Just trust me. Oh, my wife never falls for that. Like, when the milk's going bad.

Try this. No. It's bad. I've seen your shit before, Woody. But the milk guy, you know, should be remembered in the history books for a valuable contribution. The guy in Columbia who hoodwinked a bunch of people into thinking that fucking goats is somehow, you know, good for getting women pregnant. I think that he's probably a net negative on society, right? He's led to an influx in goat fucking.

The goats clearly don't care for this kind of thing. How do you know? Have you been a goat? Those two dogs, they're dead. Taylor, I noticed you presume to assume a lot about animal feelings when it comes to fish and goats and more. They're just loving it so much. For all I know, goats don't get enough sex. Maybe male goats have gone complacent and just treat them like bitches or something.

And a human lover comes along and it's their cup of tea. Once again, I don't know enough to dispute it, but it doesn't sound right. You don't know if fish can feel and you don't know if goats like being fucked by animals. And he doesn't know where chickens come from.

That was the best. Last week he said that chickens don't have sex. I said chickens don't fuck. Yeah. Stone cold retard. They just lay the eggs in the mail, the jack relates on the egg, and it becomes a chicken.

I like how you cleaned that up after we just spent five minutes talking about fucking a goat to death. Well, you know, let's not be... Let's not be trashy. Do you think you could fuck a goat to death if you wanted to? This guy clearly had super AIDS or something.

I really last way longer in that scenario. I honestly want to see his dick because they're fucking goats all the time in the Middle East and those things don't drop dead. This guy fucks two of them to death in the same day. He must have an enormous cock.

These are very small goats. That would make kids even more fucked up. Which would make him a pedophile. Yeah, he's definitely a... You know, I don't know what to think

about this. Because I also am not believing that he killed two goats, fucking them to death. Yeah, it's fake news. This is fake news. I choose to believe because it's more interesting. Well, anyway, Kyle. I don't believe it's fake news, but to wash the bad taste of this out of my mouth, let's go to smart mouth. Bad breath is nasty, embarrassing, and a major problem in both the boardroom and the bedroom.

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trying to improve ourselves. You got to have good breath too. Arian knows you can be the best player at Tennessee or on the Texans, but if you go out there and you smell like an asshole coming out of your mouth or a goat's behind to be relevant, you're not going to get any action.

I know the smell of goat behind. You need smart mouth. The only way to really take care of it. I'm sold. Yeah, I'm definitely going to get some. OhMouth. The only way to really take care of it. I'm sold. Yeah, I'm definitely going to get some. Oh, yeah. We'll send you some. Yeah, please do.

It really is excellent. Yeah, give Chiz your address and we'll get some sent to you. I got you. I'm going to holler at Chiz. Yeah, it really is some good stuff. Now, I'll tell everyone a little bit about Audible because this episode of PKA is brought to you by Audible. Audible is a leading provider of premium digital spoken audio information and entertainment on the internet.

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a free audio book with a 30 day trial membership. Just go to audio book, uh, audio audible.com slash PKA and browse the unmatched selection of audio programs. Download a title for free and start listening. It's that easy. Go to audible.com slash pka or text pka

to 500-500 to get started today. Check them out. I use both those products. Much, much better I think, to listen to audiobooks while you work out

than music, for me. Helps me pass the time better, and I also feel like it's more stimulating. Really helps your vocabulary a lot more, frankly, to listen to audiobooks than to listen to a song, especially like the hip-hop top 20 or whatever where it's the same three phrases

in slightly different iterations over and over and over. And half of those phrases don't have real words in them. I got a question. See if Chiz can enlighten me on this one. Because it's a mixed bag. I do a lot of audio books, and I do a lot of just regular reading. And I feel like the retention level is higher with audiobooks than it is with regular reading. Is there any research to back my anecdotal evidence?

It varies from person to person. Some people learn in different ways. And I'm definitely— Audio learning? Audio helps me a lot more because I remember so much from—I listened to Game of Thrones, I think like four of the books or maybe, yeah, the first four books. I haven't listened to all of the fifth one. And I just, I remember that shit.

You know, I listened to The Martian and I really picked that up and I think I learn more aptly if I'm listening rather than reading because, I don't know, I just being focused on that book and flipping that, I'm not a big fan of that. And I really hate reading on a tablet or a Kindle or something like that.

I much prefer audiobooks. Speaking of it's hard to get up and run when you're sleeping in silk sheets, Gurr Martin is never writing another fucking book. No, he's not. We just... What is it? G-R-R Martin. I i call him ger martin the guy who wrote game of thrones oh i didn't see i i was i was late on game of thrones but i i binge watched it right before the last season came out so i yeah for real but i'm kind of pissed though because now

i gotta wait for the other one the next must be so hard What do you know? It's like a year it is it is hard. He's really bad with my life And we like to give him a hard time being bad with names like before the show he was like Swiss name is Aryan. I Was like yeah like the Brotherhood Are you you're not fucking with me though? I don't i don't want to call a black man the aryan brotherhood or anything like like come on you should have told me how to fuck what did you call me all the most disrespectful i come on your show but yeah that guy stopped writing remember how cute we were like oh will they have it out before

whatever it was the fifth season and you know will it be the end of 2016 is almost here it's 2018 now we've forgotten about him writing books yeah yeah it's uh i don't know what he's doing he definitely doesn't have that stephen king work ethic oh no he's got no work i remember talking to a friend what was it when what year did the show start like the show started like the same year 2011 12 2010 2011 i think it started the same year that the fifth book released on with text like the actual book and i remember reading that and a friend being like man i hope that he's that he's done with the next one by the time you know the seasons comes out and i go we've got like six years of course it's gonna be out and then that that friend will still text

me intermittently be like hey how's that coming along i like that friend man Man, that guy is shit at this. So he has released many chapters, right? We know he's doing something. So it's good that he's done that. Because what if he hadn't done shit? What if he was like, I'm not really writing anymore. I just fuck Game of Thrones bitches and eat ham.

Just honeyed ham. Honeyed ham. And mead. And mead. And the queen of the north. And Game of Thrones cosplay bitches. I could see him pulling girls at the conventions.

He'd be like, do you want to know how the story ends? Come back to my hotel room. Next thing you know, he's pulling a Harvey Weinstein coming out in a robe. That would work. Do you want to know how the story ends? Do you eat ass?

Give you a story of fire and ice. I've got the herp. That's not even dangerous, dangerous right it just burns a little allegedly arian when you're reading what's your go-to like what kind of genre what shit do you like to read so i like to read um either like like motivational books not like those pick yourself up kind of things but kind of like think and grow rich or um something like uh the alchemist it's kind of like things that are like like metaphorical for life and they can really help you in your day-to-day life uh either that or like science books i love science and and I try to absorb all of those

that I can. Have you read the five languages of love? Unfortunately, I haven't read that one. Wait, hold on. Is it purple, the cover? I think it is actually. I think I have read it and I think it was awful. Really? I loved it.

That influenced the way that I interact with people. I think it was purple. Is it blue or purple? It looks like it's purple. And I think he's crazy. Carry on. I'll tell you why. I think I did.

I had to read it because I got a divorce and I had to pretend like I was doing the work to get back into the relationship. You might not have been in the work to get back into the relationship. But so – You might not have been in the right frame of mind. Carry on. But it wasn't the – Yeah, this bitch would like words of affirmation.

Dumb bitch house. No, it wasn't the message that I didn't like. The message was fine. And I agree. Like people have different ways of expressing their loves and you have to find that way i actually accepting it yeah but it was like the corniest way to present that information possible like the way like i wish i had it but i don't think i do do you have it i don't think it survived the move because like if

you i think if you raise it, it's right here. I have the pocket version, like the New Testament. That was definitely a reach. But I just remember reading it like, holy fuck, this is – it was hard for me to get through because it was so – they had lame metaphors and lame – but if it worked for you, I don't want to – Yeah. I can lay it out in a few seconds. No, it's fun to get shit on but uh uh so they say there are five languages of love i'll try to name them there's uh physical touch uh words of affirmation gifts and quality time and do you remember a missing one? Money, maybe? I can't recall the fifth one.

But anyway, there are some people who have an easy time expressing some, right? Like physical touch for me is easy. Quality time. Quality time I named. Oh, all right. Anyway, oh, acts of service is the one I forgot. Anyway, yeah, acts of service is super easy for my wife to do it's nothing for her to just toil away and like make a launch or whatever and um and acts of service is the way that she likes to receive her love uh it but for me i'm

like oh my god that is the worst one like really i have to like clean the dishes i that they did like other people might think nothing of that me Me, I'm like, oh, that seems like such a rotten condition to give love. Anyway, like seeing this and hearing it and, you know, you know what you like and you know what you can do. Some people have a hard time giving words of affirmation. I have a friend couple that the husband just like that just wasn't his thing. Right. He would do extra service quite easily. It was nothing for him to toil away and build her a new whatever. But words of affirmation, which she really valued,

just didn't come easily to him. And once you know what your partner likes, there's the golden rule, which is do unto others as you would have them do unto you. And then there's the platinum rule, like do unto others as they would like done to them. And that's kind of the core message

of this thing. And I don't know, I liked it. No, I agree. Like I said, the message in it, I totally liked the message, but it was like the way it was written. You just thought it was corny. So I haven't read the Game of Thrones books,

but I figure that they're really well written and the language is beautifully written, well put together sentences. This particular book was just super corny to me like it wasn't like Shakespeare-esque it was just like it was just like it was really bad it was just bad you may have higher standards than me I don't know

no no but like you said I totally agree with the sentiment too like what you're saying the way people identify love and receive it you totally have to be cognizant of that and aware of that if you want to have a healthy relationship which is why our our gentleman with herpes or not herpes uh he has to see if that is something in his herpes-carrying partner, if that's something he's willing to put up with.

Like, is that something that it's on my way? It's impacted the way that I interact with people. My son is a physical love guy. He always wants to wrestle. He always wants, like, that's just, likeugged my way. It's impacted the way that I interact with people. My son is a physical love guy. He always wants to wrestle. He always wants... Like, that's just like... He likes that. He likes being roughhoused and stuff like that.

I know it sounds pedo, but that's like the way it is. No, it's your kid. Okay. Maybe only I think of it as pedo. I mean, that's telling. Anyway, my daughter, on the other hand, is a words person. She doesn't like it when you touch her. No, she does.

Weird. She protests loudly. She always gets away. Come on, come wrestle with daddy. I feel like she tolerates it. Smile for the camera. She tolerates it if I so much as hug her. But words of affirmation or real talk is something that sinks

in and she values super highly and this book has given me a lens on like how to view these different interactions that's been useful for me my adult life i'm all for it man yeah totally i'm a fan check it out i'm a fan of the message just another the uh yeah wait that must make me want to reread it yeah motivational books are cool i've read a bunch Check it out. I'm a fan of The Message. It's another of the – Yeah, wait. It almost makes me want to reread it. Yeah, motivational books are cool. I've read a bunch. Like Seven Habits of Highly Successful People, right?

It turns me into the best version of me for like six months. It wears off. You have to reread it or find another one or something like that. Yeah, you always have to reinvent yourself 100%. I agree. It's like a flu shot. Like you're totally on the right track for like a couple months after. And then, you know, life figures it out.

And you find a way to be lazy in your silk sheets. Psychology is selling. That's a good one that I've read. Oh. I don't know that one. But that's interesting. Yeah. So I know, Arian're you're very into science like i heard you know obviously you

wanted to do uh astronomy but initially and i like how you you seem to be genuinely interested in science because all too common now people will be like oh science is the best like i like that facebook page i fucking love science which just shows pictures of like elephants at actual size next to comets like can you imagine how big that is man life's crazy like that like that kind of shit like what actually like i'm glad those have not uh crossed my path because you're out there reading actual but anyway like what what pulled you into astronomy specifically that got you into it? Right. So astronomy originally was – what got me into that was just as a kid, I grew up in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

And we used to take these drives to other cities in the state. And when you looked outside, the light pollution wasn't as uh prevalent and so you saw hundreds of thousands of stars and that site just it's to this day it's stuck with me and it's kind of the galaxy out there oh we didn't see the galaxy but we saw like hundreds of thousands of stars like i still haven't seen that in in person like i just went on it's on my bucket list like i heard australia is the best way is the best place to go to if you want to see it actually i've seen it in i've seen it in texas like like out in the really middle of nowhere texas out of the ranch i've definitely seen it there because i remember that i remember being outside we just stayed outside

for like two hours in the cold like look at it look at it I haven't ventured outside of Houston, man. Oh, man. If only you were a semi-retired multimillionaire, then you could do these things. You could afford like a telescope or something. This is what's crazy about that because it's actually a good point. So it's like when you're – I'm playing ball and I'm like – when I retire, I'm going to have all this free time on my hands. But then you retire and you really get to do the things that you love to do. So I'm starting to do those. And you find out that – I was actually having a conversation with my girl right now. We were just talking about this.

She was telling me – well, I was telling her how when I was playing ball, I felt like there wasn't enough time in the day but now that i i'm not playing ball i really i used to just say that but like now i really feel that because now i can't really do everything that i want to do i wake up seven eight nine o'clock and then like all of a sudden you look and it's 5 p.m you're like what the fuck and i can't you can't do the things that you want to do to the extent that you want to do them because i want to i want to do a podcast i love music i'm putting out a music project um i want to do to the extent that you want to do them. Because I want to do a podcast. I love music.

I'm putting out a music project. I'm taking math classes. I'm trying to go back to school for physics. I'm trying to do all of these things. And you really realize, Jesus Christ, there's not enough time in the day. It's good that you're packing your time so much productively. I imagine it would be really tempting. And I'm sure, well, you know a ton of ex-NFL players. And i'm sure a lot of them go the route of like well career's over i am retired

pack it up i'm gonna you know get drunk by my pool or you know you'll get mad i definitely play madden but you do see that a lot, though, and it's really sad. And, like, guys have a hard time adjusting because football was their life. And I always, even when I was playing, I kind of, like, wanted to distance myself from, like, talking about football all the time. Because I just kind of treated it like a job. And although it was my passion at one point in time, I didn't want to get uh involved in it because i knew it was going to end and when you start to see those the the light at the the dark at the end of the tunnel uh come to the close of your career like you you want to have things to fill your your passions with or your desires with and you see that time after time again like i never wanted to be like those

40 50 year old ex-NFL players. And no disrespect to them, but they're still talking about the shit that they did in college. And when you were 18, 19 years old, I just don't care enough. I just never really care enough about the game like that. But you see it kind of engulfing me. And it's tough to watch. You mentioned a couple times you have a girlfriend. How does one get to be

Arian Foster's girlfriend? I guess she's got to be fine, but there are plenty of fine women signing up for that role. How does one distinguish herself? That's an interesting question. I never thought about that. I guess it kind of happened as organic as it

possibly can in 2000 whatever it is she is a you have to be funny right because i consider myself a witty person so you have to be funny and no disrespect to women but I don't think there's a lot of funny women. Especially hot funny ones. I think there's a theory out there. I think it lessens your chances. They just don't have to perform, right? If they're beautiful, then the personality expectations are lower because they're beautiful. All you have to do is be beautiful. I would agree.

Beauty is subjective to a to a certain extent though i think i was i think just to answer your question she i think she's funny and she can hold my attention in a conversation um and she really cares about me man like like really like really cares about me and you can you can see it in her actions and she she loves my kids because i had kids uh before i met her and she like she loves my kids and it's just the the the embodiment of what she is is just beautiful to me so i guess she speaks my love language man there it is oh yeah i'll circle back I like that yeah my wife is also huge in terms of like being a

incredible support system that foundation someone who's on your side and that counts for a lot it really does you feel like you always have somebody in your corner you have somebody to talk shit about the world with at the end of the day

there it is. I want to watch the Super Troopers trailer when Taylor gets back. But then I also found this picture of this guy's neighbor's door. He pissed someone off, I would say. Because they went shit bandit all over his door. They went extreme shit bandit all over his... Is this an apartment? A dorm room?

It looks to me like an apartment in a hallway. Went shit. Chiz said it. Someone went shit ISIS on him. No, that's fight. If you look closely, it's on the door handle really well. Like they made sure to like. What kind of, what species shit is this?

That's human shit. That's a whole poop, I think. Like I'm trying to assemble the volume of it. If you scrape it all up, you have all the... Yeah, I think... Because if you look in the top right on that picture, there's some mass to it. My guess is they started there,

then like, oh my gosh, you know, we've gone too hard. We can't get the kind of wall coverage we're looking for if we keep going one inch thick. So they thinned it out, maybe went straight to the handle. Is there a story behind this? Or is this just shit on a dude's door?

It just says my neighbor's door this morning. Oh, God. That's what's interesting to me. At what point do you risk your freedom and beat the shit out of somebody who did that to your door? That's the most disrespectful thing that you could possibly do. That is way up there. I think if you shit on someone's car, it's worse though, right? Would you rather have the shit on your car or on your door?

Yeah. I take it back. You can go through a car wash. It's all good. What if they shit in your sunroof? In the sunroof. Into the sunroof. Into the car. Hot summer day day you left the sunroof popped right you know someone climbs aboard your car squats down over the sunroof and it's a very

loose bowel movement we're talking about there are not turds on your console there is splatter all throughout the interior and it sits there all day in the hot Houston sun, that Range Rover. Here's the scenario. You live in that place. I smear shit all over your door and light and door handle. You do it. You think, well, I'm going to kick this guy's ass. And I say, wait, wait, wait.

There's shit all over my hands. What's your next move? Because clearly there's shit all over my hands what's your next move you know because clearly there's gonna be some grappling involved is there a better defense than before you get in a fight shit in your hand man you're doing nothing like at that at that point, you fighting a psycho. Like, right? Like, you fighting a crazy man.

But I'm still, I'm kicking you dead in your face, though. Well, I hope you get poop all over your foot. I didn't consider the cash. Oh, yeah, I'm not going to, like, grab. Like, no, there's no grabbing. Oh, he's coming for you. He's getting arrested. Come on. Like, he licks the hand to really show you he doesn't give a fuck.

And he's going to be like, I'm going to be biting too. He's going to give you a shit bite. That's getting affected for sure. You see this picture, Taylor, of the shit? Oh, I do not. And what caused this? We don't know. Obviously somebody wiping shit.

Allegedly. But why? Man, you can see how much shit was in his hand when he went up to the top slap and then started dragging down because there's a lot of residual there. That's what I was saying. What do you say?

It's like falling down. We went all CSI on it. Here's the most important question. It's not flying. They need a guy to walk over there and put in some headphones with Bach playing. Watching him wipe shit all over the walls.

And I've got it. That's Barry the shit guy. He's only a consultant. We don't need him often. That's so fucked up. Can we watch the trailer for Super Troopers 2? Because I'm a massive fan of this shit, and I've been waiting on this thing forever. They had the Kickstarter campaign to fund this

movie, and now it's coming out in April 4-20-2018. Yeah, I've got it open if you'd like to watch it. I love Super Troopers. Is there music in it? Probably. Yeah.

Can you just show a trailer, or are we going to get struck? Do you remember, like, I don't know, 25 episodes ago, we watched this girl get friend-zoned hard? Do you remember that we watch it all together she was a really cute asian girl and the yeah yeah well the titanic theme song was on it and now like my network privated pka 355 or something i have to edit it got it like the it nixes the whole show oh that's a's a shame. Well, that's shitty. So is there music? There is some music, yes.

Chiz is saying you're allowed to show trailers. I don't think Chiz is an authority. I'm almost positive if I have music on here, they'll catch it and they'll nix the whole show. Yeah. Well, let's not risk it. Okay. Yeah.

That would be Chiz's game. Who be who's they uh broadband tv the network that like protects my channel does you have like a isn't it like a i don't know shit about this but it's like a fair use uh yeah i thought about arguing fair use to them like this isn't transformative or a replacement you know watching the trip but one i think i'd be wrong that someone could watch this show and not feel the need to watch the trailer because we're all going to sit there and silently watch it so like it wouldn't fit and two i don't think they even want to go down that road they're trying to prevent lawsuits not uh win them well if you're out there listening i think it's going to be a funny trailer. I'll find out later.

I'm sorry. Let us know. Yeah, we just lost a PKA like 10 days ago. Describe what you remember about the trailer, Kyle, in great detail. I haven't watched it yet. I wanted to watch it together. Oh, so we really don't know if there's music in there.

Well, I mean, I skipped forward, and I heard someone go, there was some sort of party music in the background or something. Well, I'm looking forward to that movie because the original one is hysterical. Yeah, yeah. I got to meet Farva last year,

so I was asking him about when this thing was going to happen. He said it was going to be great, and I really want to see it. Has he been in anything else since he was the mustache guy? No! I honestly don't know. Probably not much.

I have no idea. He's going to be in airplane mode if they ever figure out the title for that movie and they ever let Logan Paul upload it now that he decided to pose with that dead Japanese man. And he really zoomed in on the blue hands.

He should have pulled that much. You've seen it. I watched the middle part of the video. I didn't want to watch the whole 15 minute thing. But it was pretty tasteless. I saw someone i guess i knew it already but they talked about why people like logan paul you know continue to be on youtube his audience is huge logan paul and pewdiepie like if they were to go somewhere could be the

start of a youtube competitor like they would pull enough people with them to have a critical mass that like, you know, if we jumped on that channel too, we might be way bigger. You know, it would be a huge opportunity to be on like the Logan Paul PewDiePie PKA channel. Like PewDiePie really, doesn't he have like 60 million subscribers? Something like that. I knew he had 50. He may have 60 now. Something absurd. Jeez.

Yeah. What is he? What is he? I've never, I mean, I've heard He may have 60 now. Something absurd. Jeez. What is he? I've heard of both of those cats, but I've never watched them. What do they do? PewDiePie does a lot of different stuff. He does in real life videos, he does video game based stuff where he plays games and his face is in there.

He does funny commentary over it and stuff. He mixes it up a lot. Logan Paul is... I saw part of this because people were complaining about it, that little Japanese suicide. But I didn't watch it just because I was like

I didn't want to see a dead dude. You didn't want to see that? Not necessarily, man. We just showed you a pair of dead goats 15 minutes ago. We're not for animal rights here, I thought. Yeah, that's true. Not at all.

They're Japanese, I mean. Or suicide forest rights. It's not that it was so grotesque or anything because having been on the internet and it's 2018, we've all seen, I say we all, me, kyle and woody i don't know about arian we've all like we've seen people be beheaded we've seen people blown up uh kyle showed me videos on the internet that like have blown me away with the disgust level if you need to know a video like if i was like kyle is there a video out there of an Asian man feeding an eel

into his asshole, and then there's a subsequent shit eruption, Kyle would be like, oh, do you want like part A, B, or C? There's actually one for 2012. Do you want one large eel, or do you want many small eels? And that's not a joke. I guarantee Kyle could pull up two different eel-related anal videos.

Mm-hmm. So who are you searching for that shit I don't know is that Jesus Christ so you like you so like when I think of like like people on the internet who I do crazy shit like you are you one of those people Kyle is, yeah. His channel, FPS Russia, is the largest gun channel on the internet. He's eating chips at mmm-hmm.

I got these honey-roasted cashews. I've eaten pretty much the whole can tonight. These are delicious. Shout out to you, man. And heart-healthy, probably. Yeah, heart-healthy. They're covered in sugar. Yeah, the internet is such

a wonderful thing because there's no limits right so yeah i like the really fucked up crazy shit on the internet and i like being a bit of a provocateur i like i'm not into eels coming out of asian men's asses or anything that doesn't doesn't make me i mean it makes me chuckle it's a good time but it's not what i would be doing in my spare time if i if i didn't enjoy exposing people to it and then watching their reaction that's what i really enjoy so it really didn't dawn on me how uh crazy the internet was i mean you i mean you hear stories and stuff but i started i know what i was i was watching a documentary about um the group anonymous uh that started it kind of like started on 4chan if i'm not

mistaken and like so i started like just digging on the kind of know what 4chan was and you start looking at what 4chan is and then that little backslash b group or whatever uh message board like that's really my first introduction which was really like five six years ago introduction on like like dark web type shit like i had no idea about because i just use the internet for like email social media and like youtube videos every now and then but like i never like shit is crazy out there people are fucking insane yeah yeah um i i like that i i like that a lot that's the kind of shit that I like that's the kind of shit that I like being part of

that's what's beautiful about the internet it's just the wild fucking west out there and people can do whatever they want to for the most part don't call the SWAT team it's crazy what I think it is it's a subculture

of the internet that's developed. I think people have always had kind of sick things that they like to do, but like, doing it for the internet has kind of changed

in my opinion. So like, people do stupid shit and crazy shit and evil shit for the internet. Like eating Tide Pods. Yeah, that's just fucking retarded. But like, people like, stupid shit and crazy shit and evil shit for the internet. Just eating pods. Yeah. That's just fucking retarded.

But like, um, people like killing people and, and like do it. Like I was just like the 4chan shit. Like people like finding body parts and crazy shit. Like I had no idea this shit was in existence, but it is.

And I think that the, the internet has spawned this subculture of reaction-based people. And it's scary. Did you have any fallout from your fame, Arian? Like SWAT team sent to your house or trouble or? Nah, I wasn't. See, like I'm not like famous. Like there's levels of fame.

I was like moderately recognizable. You don't have to be that famous to have a SWAT team at your house. Well, that's true. There's levels of fame. I was moderately recognizable. You don't have to be that famous to have a SWAT team at your house. That's true. I get recognized a lot in Houston, sometimes New York, LA. I'm moderately recognizable because football is... I wasn't really

faint when you see me famous. I never really considered myself famous. I was just like, yeah, you recognize me here and there like they're i'm not like so i never really consider myself famous i was just like yeah you recognize me here and there it wasn't that it wasn't like you couldn't go shopping without getting swarmed or something like that no that's not the case i you definitely like some not not not now it's fine now you're just a retired guy but like there was a point where i couldn't go like to the mall I would never go to the Houston Galleria Mall because you would just get kind of bombarded. But now it's straight. Now you get like, hey, every now and then.

So it went away. So I'm cool now. I'm regular now. Yeah. Like, hey, that describes my peak. It does, though. Yeah. I don't know.

One comes to mind. It was back when she was living with me. Some guy recognized me at auto zone. Like, are you Woody's gamer tag? I used to watch your stuff all the time. That's my peak right there. That's as far as it's ever gone.

And it's always felt like people who are, have any kind of, uh, uh, if you're recognized at all for something that you provide, right? Like, people are fans of you, right? Like, people were never fans of me. They were always just fans of what I did. So it was the most disingenuous.

I never got into fame because of that reason. I always thought it was very fickle and it was a facade it wasn't a real thing because they weren't like my intellect or who i was as a human they were never fans or they were just a fan of me running away from grown men yeah yeah i see that but but it so would impact you differently if like your pod you have a podcast now that blows up and they start liking that about you, then it's different. That would, that,

that totally changed because then you like me and it's, and it's more genuine. It's way more genuine. And a lot of the expectations of fame change then because then they recognize you as a human being rather than just their entertainment. You know, what's different? Like it,

there's a, a gigantic information imbalance, right? People have imbalance. I started my channel in 2009, and I've been talking about thoughts and feelings or whatever for nine years now. So sometimes I meet someone, and they know a lot about me, but I know nothing about them. Yeah. And that can be kind of a weird way to start off a conversation weirdest shit ever like somebody will come up to you and they'll be like hey man remember what you're like fam i've never seen you before in my life and now i'm in fight or flight mode so you need to come he's close to him right because he knows you yeah yeah they think they think they know you and it's it's that's that's weird for me because i grew up like when

people stare at you that's like an act of aggression so that's how i grew up right so people stare at you next it's an act of aggression or uh just to be just to be cautious around crowded areas because you just never know and i grew up with that mentality and so like when all of a sudden people are coming up to you like my first reaction is like what the fuck is this and then you kind of get used so i'm kind of i'm used to it now but at first that transition was it was hard for me how long did it take you to get used to that until when you saw people approaching you're like oh they just recognize me from yeah that's probably like well it's probably in college when i started being like all right it's cool now i remember to this day i feel so bad man i've actually never

said this story but because i felt it was a shitty move and it was one of the worst i wish i never did it but it's a judge of that it's shitty bro you might be fine it's it's shitty and it's shitty and i apologize and so anyway uh i was super drunk i was in college i was super drunk as my senior year and for no reason man um this dude they pull up on us and i was like having a bad day and i was already drunk and it was just bad and this dude pulls up on us and he goes hey arian foster and i'm like what and i just slap him open hand face slap No questions asked. Just wailed on him. And my dude grabbed me. He's like, yo, he was a fan.

He was a fan. I was like, I don't give a fuck. I was just drunk. And they told me this the next day. I remember him pulling up, but I don't remember everything. In a car? It was in a car. You were in the driver's seat and you hit him.

And he pulled up. And the next day, I felt so bad. I've spent years trying to find this dude to apologize. And when I was in the NFL, I was, like, tweeting. I was, like, I would take him to a game. So on me, I'll fly you out, put you up. I felt that bad about it because it was just a shitty move. But it was just, like, a reaction that I had no – I had control over it,

but not necessarily because I was drunk. It was just a bad move, and I felt terrible about it. And it goes to your point of saying, like, somebody running up on you. When I was in my public figure mind frame, I was in just an aggressive, like, 19-year-old testosterone-filled kid. Like, you running up on me,

I'm going to slap you. I felt terrible. If you've been a fan, you don't really know if they feel pain or not fish fan so when he pulled up in the car did he get out of the car and come towards you or did you like reach into the driver's side and give him a whack i reached in the car my thought process was i'm not going to let him try anything crazy. I'm going to let him know what it is. I was a stupid kid.

Bravado back then was just on 10. So I just didn't think a lot of things through, man. So I did a lot of stupid shit. And that was really, to this day, I regret that. I don't have a lot of regrets in life, but I regret that, man, because he didn't do anything. And he probably hates me to this day. Sometimes. Assault or be assaulted. It a yeah yeah and uh the statute of limitations is out or else i'll

probably be getting a letter from his lawyer that's hilarious poor guy he was probably just like oh man yeah my favorite player arian hey how Hey, how is... Oh! Oh! Terrible. Did I get his name wrong? Did I talk to the wrong guy? Arian, that's a Nazi thing. How could you? I think I held him in everything. I feel bad, man.

Dude, I worry about that. So, all right. God, I hate talking about paramotors, but I fly paramotors. It's a very, very small community. Not many people do, and I make videos about it. So, but I fly paramotors. It's a very, very small community. Not many people do. And I make videos about it. So in this tiny, tiny world, I'm pretty well known.

And I went to a fly-in where all the people get together. And I'm super aware of the fact that even though I'm busy, I might be stressed. I might be about to launch. And I'm pre-flighting my equipment, trying to make sure I'm going to be okay. When they're saying hello, that's going to stick with them. That's going to be their impression of me, right? They've watched my videos for hours and hours,

and now they're like, ah, in real life, Woody's a dick. And I worry so much about that happening, that every interaction has to be the best version of me. You know, hey, how are you? Tell me about this. Because, God, I would hate it. I hear it. Can't do that, though.

Ben Affleleck mean to some guy in craft services that made it to me you know like how far has that story traveled but you can't and it's just to i don't think you could live like that though because it's not genuine to yourself and i think once you start being dishonest to yourself then you're going to end up unhappy in the at the end of the day so like the the the fastest track to unhappiness is trying to please everybody and you can't like sometimes you wake up and you have a shitty day right and so when somebody comes up to you super happy you're like hey man i appreciate it i'm just not having a very good day whatever the case may be like you don't owe

anybody anything man i know it's the right thing to do but like if you run around trying to be super nice mr rogers all day that's gonna fuck with you because you're not like right but i'm only famous two days a year at a fly-in you know well then you gotta suck that shit up yeah yeah yeah very easy to pass judgment on how an actual famous person needs to act when i've never experienced that it's like well you should be courteous and like well i mean i don't think i'm out of line in saying that you shouldn't open hand slap that approach you but you also don't need to be like carrying on 20 minute conversations with everyone because that would get exhausting yeah it would we still don't know if fans have feelings yet so it's the science isn't clear on that one yet yeah until those studies come in nah i feel shitty about that to this day man it's bad man so you said you have very few

very few regrets and uh one of them i think it was on the joe rogan experience i was listening to and you said that if you could go back you probably wouldn't even do football anymore you'd have taken a different path do you still think that or is part of you like ah but i know how good the money is and how good i'm set up now like no i still yeah um it's hard to tell people that aren't millionaires that like once you're a millionaire like it's not like this this cure for happiness or unhappiness or depression. Like there is no there. And people are always like, well, it's easy for you to say. I was like, well, are you going to listen to a homeless man tell you that? Are you going to listen to a millionaire tell you that? It's your

choice. But like the financial freedom is nice. Don't get me wrong. But I know so many depressed millionaires i know so many depressed i'm like on the brink of suicide type either self-harming them like themselves or harming somebody else and it's just like a whirlwind of and all money does it just reveals who you are it doesn't it doesn't do anything else it just reveals who you already are um and if i had to do it over again i would pick something that was more self-fulfilling than football because football wasn't self-fulfilling uh with any kind of longevity it was just um it was a passion a seven-year-old kid had that i had no idea the the the peaks and valleys that it would have as a as a 20 30 year old man like you just have no idea so like i didn't sign up to be famous. I didn't sign up

for all of these extra problems, which I know as a man, you got, you just have to deal with, but I didn't find fulfillment in my work. Like some people do, like, I don't watch YouTube clips of myself. Like I, you know, I really, I worked my ass off. Like, I just don't, I don't care about the shit like that. So I would find something else that i'm extremely passionate about that i could i could like whatever you do i always tell like kids when i talk to kids whatever you do and you look up and it's two o'clock in the morning you're like oh shit i haven't ate today like that's what you should be doing like that's that's whatever your passion is that's what you and that's what i would do if i was if i had to do it over again it's a struggle for me to hear that though because like thank you

like so you were wildly successful the nfl level and i think it might be easy to be like oh well i'd probably be wildly successful whatever i put my mind to but a lot of people put their minds to things and don't get rich and famous off of it. In my head, I use this analogy a lot. I would disagree with that. You rolled a 20-sided die and got a 19 or 20. And now you think, oh, anything. Every time I roll it, I'm going to get that.

But probably not. Yeah, so I think there's two parts to that. The first part is you said a lot of people put their minds to something. And I don't think they do. I honestly don't. So when you're actually talking about sacrificing day in and day out. I've never, ever, ever met anybody in this country that has given their all. I'm talking about wake up at 5. You wake up in the morning. That's what you think about. You go to sleep. That's what you think about.

You're the first one there, the last one to leave. Every single day, you're working on your craft. Every single day, work, work, work, work, work. At the end of the day, you're not happy with where you are. I've never met that person. You can lie to other people all day long, but you can't lie to that mirror. So that's why my dad used to tell me this all the time when I was a kid, and it stuck with me. He used to say, write your goals down and put them somewhere where you see every day, whether it be a mirror or the door before you leave. He said, write them down, all your goals, and put them there. One of two things is going to happen. You're either going to end up hitting some of those goals because you're doing something every single day to get closer to those goals, or you're going to tear them down because you're lying to yourself.

And I've seen it time after time again. I honestly don't think people give it their all in what they're doing. And if they do, they view failure as not a stepping stone, but as the end end of the road which is ass backwards in my opinion but again to your point what did you say before there was a second point CTE kicking in there was a part about your life being great

you rolled a 20 sided die got a 20 and thinking you'd get that on anything right okay so that's what it was it's not necessarily I feel like I would be – I mean, I do. I feel like I'll be successful in whatever I do. That's just how I feel because I put in – I feel like I'll put in that work. But it wasn't necessarily for that purpose. What I'm talking about more so is something that's self-fulfilling.

Like I make music, right? I feel – I've had this tattoo on my arm since 2010. Music is my passion. I could do music all day, every day. I've learned the piano. I'm learning the guitar, composing, writing. I love it. It's just something that if I put it out to the world and they don't like it, I don't give a shit.

I could do it for the rest of my life. That's self-fulfilling to me. As long as we have our basic needs kept, food, shelter, clothing, I feel like that's all we need as humans. Everything else is just luxury. And so if I was to find something that's self-fulfilling, that will take care of all the other noise. Like so that's what I'm talking about when I say I wouldn't do football again because it wasn't self-fulfilling like I didn't I didn't I don't I don't I don't go to sleep at night thinking man I really ran that 60 yard touchdown really well like that's yeah there's it does nothing for me so it might do

something for the for the people but not for me and so that's what I was saying was like I I I would do something different because it didn't do that for me. Is it more that, like, you know, the satisfaction you got from, like, running that 60-yard touchdown or whatever, it was fleeting? Because I'm sure in the midst of a season where you're killing it, like, when you go home after a game, like, you are pretty pumped on yourself, right? You were feeling like, man, I'm really, really performing my job in a great, excellent way right now. I feel good.

Or even then, was it kind of like, eh, I'm still just playing a game a little it was a little bit of both but it was more like you know i'm not like man i'm doing such a great job it was it's it's a weird feeling especially football like i know other sports are different because in football especially in my position so i'm a running back if i i could i could i could feel the i could have the best week of practice, the best offseason in the world, but if 10 other guys don't do their jobs, I'm not going to have a good game. My success is predicated off of other people, and other people's success are predicated off me. So that's probably part of the reason why I didn't feel a lot of fulfillment in it because you'll hear people argue that the success of some people's careers is

based on like championships well i think that's bullshit especially in football because it's such a team sport um and you you you you your your success cannot be predicated off of other people and this is why i don't feel like a lot of people in my sport have a lot it's there's not a lot of self-fulfilling tangible stuff in there it's just all it's all fleeting because it goes your your your athleticism deteriorates and you can't let your self-worth be determined by other people's opinions on your performance it's a sick cycle that I think a lot of my peers never break. You're saying that didn't happen to you? As far as

my... Your sense of self-worth wasn't impacted by what people thought of your performance? Not in the least. That's amazing to me. You must be showered with opinions on your performance. And you just

water off a duck's back. It'll be like, because you hear criticism about your play. Of course, you're not going to escape that. But I never sat up at night thinking, I'm going to prove those fuckers wrong. It was just, people talk shit. It's just like like talking i'm pretty sure that guy that was fucking them goats he he didn't think he was gonna get criticism for fucking goats he was just fucking goats it is what it is no hands it doesn't matter you and

the goat fucker are kindred spirits yeah man you both excel at what you do. We all. And you don't let criticism hold you back. Sometimes one a day, sometimes two a day practices. You know, whatever it takes. We're all out here just trying to metaphorically fuck our goats, man. That's all we're trying to do. And you can't let how other people view your goat fuck. I need that on a plaque. Put it on my wall so I see it every day.

I'm going to sew that into a throat pillow. Fuck that goat to death. Fuck that goat to death. Fuck that goat to death. It doesn't matter. They're going to blur their faces at the end anyway, so it doesn't matter. To protect the goat identity. Oh my god, those are Tracy and Susan, my favorite goats. What are they going to do with those goats?

Eat them, I hope. You can't eat them now. They're pre-basted. They've been injected with marinade. I want that. I heard Alex Jones talking about human-animal hybrids earlier. Maybe this is what he was talking about. You laugh all you want about that.

Woody's face makes me want to find the clip of Alex Jones talking about the hybrids. It's pretty outrageous. He mentioned insect-human hybr of Alex Jones talking about the hybrids. It's pretty outrageous. He mentioned insect-human hybrids, jellyfish-human hybrids. Let's see, Alex Jones, human hybrids. He's a goddamn maniac. He's a goddamn maniac. Yeah, here, it's only a minute and 22 seconds long.

I have a clip on that. Let me see. Let's cue at zero. He is fired up. This is, this is Oh, this is his classic clip. He is fired up. Oh, maybe this is the wrong

I'm a human! Yeah, that's this one. Are you sure it's the right one? I'm not sure. I mean, it's good no matter what, but I should look deeper for the hybrid. God, he's angry in this. He's angry in all of his clips. I'm ready when you're ready.

Let me make... There may be a better clip. Okay. Yeah, yeah, here. This is better. This is better. This is him actually talking about the science of the human hybrids.

Science of the human hybrids. How long is this? It's three minutes, but we don't need to watch it all. We could probably get a minute or so in and get the gist. See how it goes. The way we do this, Arian, is you just open it up, and then Woody will count us down, and we can all play. Got you. Okay, cool. Are you queued at zero?

Let's do it on play three two one play thousands of companies are creating transgenetic cross-species hybrids splicing plants animals and insects and releasing the new organisms into the global biosphere vandalizing the very genetic code of the planet. Human animal chimeras are gestating on U.S. research farms. And then I knew what the next line would be. They're growing human tissue in cows and pigs.

human tissue in cows and pigs, just like they call babies tissue or embryonic stem cells when they're seven months old being butchered live on a table and dissected. They take them out live and then hook them up to apparatus to keep them alive and then harvest them. Told you that 20 years ago. Now it's mainstream news. I've told you this thousands of times, and I've seen this article, let's not exaggerate, a hundred plus times. Similar, it's always the same playbook. Oh, did you know some firms are starting to implant tissue inside cows, inside pigs?

Ladies and gentlemen, they're not implanting tissue. they're growing humanoids up to 50 and 60 pounds inside cows and inside pigs and i'm going to say something else right now that's what we know was going on making good points 30 years ago because when i learned about it 20 years ago it was in research papers declassified 10 years before that. And they were creating humanoids for organ harvesting inside cows and pigs publicly. Publicly. Like at the fair and shit. They're humans without heads. Because that even freaks the researchers out too much so they can try and grow them like they want.

And they can argue, well, it's just the person I want those organs. much so they can try and grow them like they want and you can argue well it's just the person i want those organs but they've had to make the humans the humanoids part cow part sheep part pig to implant them so again mit here it is we're not making it up there are in fact spider goats and so these right kids have the genes for spider in them yes this is insane and where does the spider silk I get silk from the milk come from well it was a silk in the milk they look like such normal ghosts but in fact they're totally unique and and bizarre I mean this is the goat just lurched out and bit him. I guess I would not say that. The goat smelt out a super strong silk that could mean somebody's armor

as well as other things. And if that wasn't enough, how about a glow-in-the-dark bat? That's probably enough. I think it's this gentleman. I think this is his channel, which is great. I'm subscribing right now.

Oh, get the fuck out. Alex Jones is so convincing and authoritative. I'm there wondering, what mic is that? How can I get that? If I just bob my head a lot and talk with some bass, will people buy any bullshit I spew? Maybe. Yeah.

We knew about this 30 years ago. We told you about it 20 years ago. And I made my own pig hybrid 10 years ago. Back when the intelligence was declassified, I made a pig. Kyle, tell the people, tell the people, Wilbur, how you were spawned. I'm Alex Jones, pig baby. Well, Kyle, you're missing out on the main point. What they're going to do

is they're going to take the brains of those who oppose the government and put those brains into pigs. You will be a fully sentient person in a pig body. Totally incapable of doing it. They will feed you to the rest of the government. You will bring home the bacon and cook it in the pan. Alright, we'll be right back after this.

We're going to talk about some protein powder, some bone broth, and my neck thickening agent. It's a salve. A neck thickening salve. A neck thickening salve. Rub it on twice a day. I'm surprised he doesn't sell, like, tinfoil hats or, like, something, like, serious.

Because he's already got these. He sells the buckets of survival food. tinfoil hats or like like something like serious because he's already survival food I bet he sells so much so much volume of those water filters where because he's because that's one of his main things right it's fluoride is gonna poison you it's not something that pretty much every dentist on the planet is like yeah pretty good for your teeth how do you how do you know that it's good for your teeth well I went you know that it's good for your teeth? Well, I went to dental school, and we look at different municipalities with different – one has fluoride, one doesn't, and we see a higher rate of rotting here. No, that's not true.

That's because – and then he just goes on to say something else ridiculous, and then it ends in the Clintons being behind it. Inevitably. Hillary is a fluoride addict. It powers her. It powers her. Hillary is a fluoride addict. Yes. It powers her. Oh, man. Well, this seems like a good time to tell everyone about our... The newest advertiser to the PKA community. Let me make this window the appropriate size.

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Keeps. Hair today, hair tomorrow. Nice. Check them out. You don't want to lose your hair. You know, is there anyone in the PKA friends and family group, as I'll call them, that could benefit from Keeps. We're all hanging strong here on the show, but what about our good old friend Wings?

Wings would love Keeps. I'm going to sign him up. I've got his address. It's locked into my Amazon. On Amazon, you can just click your address bar and it shows all the shit you've ever sent to anyone? I've got his address.

I could clickety-click, send him some keeps. You should definitely do it. I think he'd very much appreciate that. I'm signing him up. Yeah. I can only imagine this going well. It seems thoughtful. I think about him so much.

I think about wings. It sounds like an X. I think about Wings every single day at least a dozen times. You should give Aaron a little background on it. So Wings used to be part of this podcast. He actually was one of the founding member. He recruited Woody and myself to be part of his podcast with him. And then we kicked him off of it as soon as we could make some money.

As soon as we saw the ability. Oh, come on, Woody. Let's just let it all out. We found the ability to monetize this cow. We kicked the pig out and we milked it dry. And we've been keeping that up for the last few years. See, that's all his version of events. What actually happened is this large gentleman who used to be part of the show had a terrible work ethic,

and he was voted off unanimously by everyone involved with the show and some people who weren't. You know, we asked some random people on the street. They wanted him gone too. Chiz. Chiz didn't really even have a vote, but he wanted him gone. So it just seemed like the thing to do. And now he lurks in the shadows, and he streams online. Yeah, Chiz, you wanted him off.

You made that whole angry video about it in black and white. It's like an hour long, dude. Come on. It was a little weird. It's black and white, and it is an hour long. I watched it the other day. It's kind of scary. You're in the black and white, and you're talking about how bad the guy is.

But now he streams, and he has ballooned, if you will, up to nearing a quarter ton at this point. And yet he's lost a good bit of his hair for a man of 31 years of age. And so I just think that maybe he could benefit from this product. So Wings started this, and then y y'all voted him for work ethic. Yeah, that's absolutely right. It's about the core of it. Yeah, there are some other issues with me too like betrayals here and there. He used to just talk smack about me, sometimes completely untrue stuff.

Let's watch a video. Here you go. Here's some untrue stuff. Let's watch a video. Here you go. Here's some untrue stuff. Here's about a minute of wings telling lies. So I did this thing where I invited this gentleman to my home and

for a month I put him through a weight loss boot camp. In that month he lost roughly 40 pounds lost about 10 of his body weight i put him on a diet cooked his food drove him to and from the grocery store gave him a room in my house my shit my shower was designed for human beings and so i had to redesign it to accommodate this gentleman it cost five thousand dollars i wasn't planning to do it before he came, but I was like, look, I said I was going to get this guy over here.

I already told the fans he's coming. Make it happen. New shower, big enough for everybody. Get him in here. A month he spent at my house. Me filming all of the videos by hand. Me holding the camera. 24 days, I think.

He left early. Yeah, 28, something like that. Whatever. Who knows? There were some resting days. Me holding the camera. 24 days, I think. He left early. Yeah, 28, something like that. Whatever. Who knows? There were some resting days. Me holding the camera, me making up the workouts, me supplying all the workout equipment virtually, me setting up a Kickstarter program that raised up $11,000

in weight loss money. $9,000. Thank you, Woody. Woody keeps tabs on this for me. He knows what's up. No, no. I'm serious. Thank you. And me editing all of the videos and then giving those videos over to him on a memory card so he could upload them onto his dying YouTube channel, which gave him a huge spurt of views. It rejuvenated his dying YouTube channel. These videos were getting hundreds of thousands of views on a channel that had been getting 25 35 000 50 000 on a great day and then this is what he has to say this is his version of events are we all

queued up at zero uh-huh yeah i'm ready three two one play kyle didn't do shit kyle did not teach me anything about working out all kyle did was hold a camera and induce a video editing he basically put together obstacle courses and just got me to work out most of my work you're such a day by myself on the elliptical walking in the mornings he did all the eating stuff kitty made sure I was eating right and what I ate most for the most part all caught what Kyle gave me on FBS boot camp was a support structure that's what Kyle gave me drew me a lot more with eating and stuff but the fact is I knew how to eat good you could tell and I know when I'm making he knows that he good it's fucking hard when everything you love

about life is food and just like oh man just like this the stream i did this morning that turned to shit that's because i wasn't eating my blood sugar controls me 110 110 you can't argue with science see some one part in there kyle that you have to say is true is you were mostly just making up obstacle courses. There was not an exercise where Kyle's like, alright, this is going to hit your lats. Alright, the reason you're going to do this, and this is the reason. Kyle would be like,

alright, a buddy of mine is wearing a gopher mascot costume. He's going to lay on the ground. You're going to pull this rope and tug him across the basement floor. What does this work out, Kyle? Just general all-around muscles. A kiddie pool, a toe strap, and a pickup truck. Sit in the pool, we're dragging you around.

That's kind of a workout. Look, so who's mad? It was way more American Gladiator than Olympic style. Look, I don't think that's fair. Now, I'll admit, there were a couple of workouts that were just in there for entertainment purposes yes of course okay all right yes of course there were and yes i did have my friend jeremy dress up in a myriad of costumes and work as his personal trainer throughout them yes at one point he was gumby yes at another point he was gonzo and of course he was Gumby. Yes, at another point he was Gonzo. And of course he was a scary clown when Wings

needed some motivation. He's terrified of them. But the point was, we got him, he's lifting weights, he's doing medicine ball stuff, he's doing sit-ups. I invented a new exercise called the Jeremy Pull, which is when you tie a rope to a man named Jeremy

and Wings drags him with a rope. It works all the major muscle groups so was it was it was it was it because i don't know anything about this situation was it genuine did you bring him in like genuinely yeah yeah absolutely absolutely so what why did the jokey thing it why did he leave why did he stop doing it um he well he was only supposed to stay for a month but basically like like he couldn't handle it and i think that some of the he was like getting emotionally down on himself and like some weeks he wouldn't lose as much weight and he broke down and cried a little bit and you know he that's tough man because just watching that video like that man is hurt oh that's nothing

like that man's hurt man oh you don't know you don't know. You don't know. I mean, you can just see the layers of depth. Just watch it that way. You haven't seen Hurt. Can you find a video that shows Hurt? Here's what I want. PKA fans, make this happen for me. First of all, I want a montage of Wing's saddest moments. I want tears.

I want jiggling. I want controllers being thrown. Guess what the soundtrack is? I Hurt Myself Today by Johnny Cash. I hurt myself today. Controller goes flying. I actually haven't heard that song.

I still feel rawr! There's this one time where he rages. He tries to break the controller with his bare hands. Might he be enough for that none of us here i i think it might be i i think you could break a xbox controller by twisting it in half he tries that in in a rage he's i want that to play like like right as the music's getting upbeat what have i become my sweetest friend and when it says My sweetest friend.

And when it says my sweetest friend, I want you to find him eating some ice cream or something. All right? Make this for me. It seems like you could do this. I got a lot of... Look, I'm leveling a Fallout 4 character right now. I'm looking for a new place to eat Indian food.

I got a lot on my hands. All right? I can't be editing videos. And I don't, I don't want to bear the responsibility for this. If I instigate, it's okay. Just like in high school.

But if I do it, then I end up, you know, getting in trouble. So I like to lean on the PK fans to, to do these things for me. And they do a wonderful job. And like the ranking of things,

this would be the meanest possible thing. That's pretty bad. Against wings. If you click this video, this is an exercise that I invented. It starts right off with it. Are we watching the most recent video? The one I just linked. FPS Boot Camp Day 2.

Yeah, yeah. If you click that, I invented this workout. I think that it's perfect for a man of his size. Kind of like 30,000 likes. Right? Look, tell me I don't make good videos. This is on his channel that was dead. 170,000 views, 30,000 likes, 300 dislikes.

Those are all strong numbers. 6,700 comments. Can we hit play? Yeah. Ready, set, play. Here we go. This is trick number two. This is called a wings pull.

I don't know what this is. There you go. I had to get him those gloves. You don't need those to pull. That's my friend Jeremy who's standing back there with the chipmunk mask on. Why does he have a chipmunk mask on? Pedo Bear is really happy.

He's got jeans on! Is it? Or does it hurt? He comes with his own equipment. I can't provide pants for the man, but I've always included lots of costumes in my videos because I feel like a costume just takes it to that next level.

It's one thing to be blowing some shit up with guns, but if Spider-Man's dancing around in the background with a big bulge in his pants... The video just got 10% better. That's the cherry on top. Look at him go all tangled in it. What does this work out? Everything.

Other than the tensile strength of that rope. All right, so if you pay attention, so that floor has a fine layer of talcum powder on it, so there's no friction, right? But look how sweaty he is. He's worn out from this cardio. He had a lot more hair then. He's pushing with his legs, and he's pulling with his arms

and his shoulders and stuff. He's working, and he's doing this wiggle caterpillar motion, like this squirmy thing that's working his heart. It's working the core. When people start working out, usually you want to be conscious of not making them injure themselves.

That's why he's on his back instead of damaging his knees. Once again, I lubed the floor! I lubed the floor! Did you lube the floor? Yes, with baby powder! Is it still going?

At 1 minute 50 seconds, I lube the floor up with baby powder so it won't hurt his back as much. You really can't kick out of your antics. I found the key. Is this how the Texans did it, Arian? Nah, this ain't the same. Why didn't you just start with jogging?

He can't jog. He started with jogging and his pants exploded. That's probably why. What does that mean? That's not a joke. His pants exploded. I don't care. The button burst off his pants.

It struck Jeremy in the eye. He still can't see right. Aw. Aw. Oh, Jeremy. Okay, okay. No mercy for wings. We want wings to come on the show.

There should be mercy for wings because of the middle video. Oh, these are called Jeremy pulls. This is the next workout. At two minutes and 45 seconds, now he's actually dragging Jeremy because he can no longer pull his own body weight. And Jeremy weighs like 200 pounds, so it's like half as much effort. That's actually a good exercise. Man, actually at 258 or whatever, you can see he's working hard. It's a row.

And Jeremy's working too. Yeah. Jeremy's in shape though. Look at Jeremy doing it. I'm a little behind I think. We're at like 315, 320 or so. How is Jeremy working? It's attached to his ankles. He has to push himself back.

He has to go back. I'm sorry. Now I see. He's resetting himself. Here we go again. These are great. This is an actual workout. He's all covered in talcum powder on his back. How long were you pretty optimistic? Because I know you went into the FPS boot camp challenge with wings.

Pretty optimistic. And he did lose like 40 pounds, so that's pretty fucking great. Yeah. How long did it last that you were still optimistic? Gloves are four. About the process. Somewhere in the second week i i felt like i was getting a lot of negativity and by the third week he he sort of had this mindset that like all right

we filmed 10 minutes of this exercise that's enough for the video now let's do like five minutes of another exercise and put that in the video and it became more about making a workout video than filming his workout yeah and and and i couldn't really argue when he wanted to quit we ought to talk him into sting it is yeah um day three is pretty uh interesting dude we need to show where current wings is where like the the sadness i i well okay i'll try to be too down i'm curious uh because i know a lot of ex-athletes get very fat right after they retire did you go through like a quick little fat phase right after or did you like have your eye on the ball oh no no i would because it's probably about a good eight to ten months where i didn't do shit i didn't do anything and i ate everything that i

wanted to do and what chain well finally like all right i gotta stop this was this little grotesque but i was going to the bathroom and as i'm wiping i feel a little fold and i'm like yo that's not happening so then I started working out again and I'm not in my tip top shape right now but I can definitely you know everyone in the movie theater line definitely especially

if it's the notebook but I try to stay I try to have like a balanced diet and a balanced Workout regimen I don't want to kill myself ever again like I did But I also don't want to not do anything Okay

Now before we watch the one that No Taylor we will not lay off Wings we're just getting started I feel bad for my guy man I'm not gonna lie Dude you don't even know yet We're not we're just getting't i don't know we're just getting started i don't know enough about him to hate him or dislike him but i can see the hurt in that man's eyes that's right you haven't seen the hurt yet no no you're gonna see it though you're

gonna chiz is honestly like an evil demon on your shoulder when this topic comes up and he'll just like he he little well kyle, you're Satan himself in this. You know what Chiz wanted to send him for his birthday? A bag of broken glass and a book called How to Swallow Things. Wow! He doesn't need that book. Alright, so first

Woody. First of all, good one, Woody. I didn't get it at first. I was a little slow on the uptake. Hilarious. I'm a dick. I'm so sorry.

No, you're hilarious. Good job, Woody. Good job. Pile on. All right. Now, first, first what I want to do is watch, click the FBS Boot Camp Day 3. It's time stamped. We only need to watch like 45 seconds of this.

I think it's funny. It's not sad. It's funny. And I think I edited it well. This is purely for my vanity at this point. I'm at 710. 3, 2,

1, play. Yeah, you're using some artistic camera angles. Is it at 710? That's when it starts? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't wait for you. Are you good? Tire flip good exercise. I Had to go by interest is priest Father Jeremy out there. He's gonna do a prayer at the end. That was my idea Quite heavy the end that was my idea quite heavy say 80 to 100 pounds yeah you wanted to give up here Jeremy's giving him that Catholic motivation yeah no wonder he lost weight he's working hard I invented this part where he has to rotate it I thought he was gonna spin it halfway and roll it.

My ass using your noggin. Yeah. I made him do this bullshit where I was just like, all right, now spin it. All right, now walk through it. Now spin it again. Look at Jeremy. All right.

All right. That's all we need to watch of that. Now let's watch the video that Chiz linked called Wings of Redemption Cries Over Money. How long is this video? 30 seconds. 30 seconds and each is gold. I'm queuing. I don't know what's up on my internet.

It takes a while. Let me know when we rock it, man. Yeah. I'm ready. 3, 2, 1, play. I really need to make this fuckin' money. I really wanted

to get this fuckin' surgery, man. I've wanted it so fuckin' bad. Wait on surgery. I just can't do it I can't take this shit no more man All I wanted to do was I was fucking lonely I wanted to just fucking stream

And have a good time Maybe have a good game Arian back me up This is so much pain right yeah man it's tough to watch yeah and and the thing that burned into me he's like all i wanted to do was stream right i was lonely he was just hoping that he would play well and that he would get something something arian is amazingly invulnerable to a little justification from the internet. Like, they would make you feel good about themselves. Yeah, which is the worst place to look for that, though.

It's the worst place to look for that. And the results are unsurprising, you know? Yeah. For people to get to that point of where you're that overweight, there's so much emotional baggage behind that in the first place. And then you're

trying to share that experience to the fucking trollville in the first place and then you're you're trying to share that experience to the fucking trollville in the internet like there's no it's just a recipe for like depression like that's what i feel for my guy man like you can see like before i saw that or all the rest of this stuff you can see the hurt in his eyes from the first video you played he just hurt he's a hurt man he's so hurt yeah he's depressed and you have to know he um he doesn't have much of a a friend network i don't know maybe it is an insult just where he is he spends all of his time in a trailer in in one room mostly playing video games he lives with his grandmother who's very sick now and they're just i think everyone knows like the basic recipe to come out of happiness is a little sunshine, a little exercise, and relationships with other people.

If you do those things, you get out of depression. Relationships with people, a little sunshine, and a little exercise. He does none of those. He doesn't have relationships with people. He doesn't have any exercise, and he doesn't get outside. He's just in that. It's a pressure cooker. You're totally right.

So many people don't connect your physical health to your mental health where they're like, man, I just feel depressed all the time. I mean, I'm overweight. I never work out. I smoke weed all the time. I drink alcohol all the time. I don't sleep right.

Why am I depressed? I haven't cultivated relationships with people. Yeah, I don't eat healthy. My friends aren't that close. And so it's like well of course like you you kind of have to like knock those pegs one by one and then you're going to see results in the mental side of it as well of course there's stuff like bipolar disorder or like clinical depression yeah and that's what it's like yeah some of that stuff actually there's a chemical imbalance and i don't know i don't know dude's uh situation fully but like i could say it was probably like a month ago no like two months ago uh was january yeah it was like two months ago i

prior to that moment it was like three months straight where you know i was i was off my my eating healthy uh kick i was i was eating like shit um wasn't working out and i was drinking heavy uh just enjoying my life um i wasn't working out, and I was drinking heavy. I was just enjoying my life. I wasn't depressed or anything, but I was just really enjoying life, like going out, having drinks. And my mental clarity just dissipated. I just felt so foggy in my head. I felt terrible. Then I felt my physical health started, i like uh shortness of breath things like

that started happening i'm a physically fit guy so that shit started fucking with me on all different range of of ways and i can only imagine that like him going through something like that something and then to add on top of that like this is something he started and how wildly successful it is and he has to kind of watch in the background as it flourishes on top of all of the rest of the things he's dealing with like i feel bad for my guy man i hope he i hope he gets it together yeah i'm with you but then i i flip over to between like where you are and where kyle is all the time because he was bad to me. Kyle don't give a shit. He was bad to us.

Objectively. You got to go for that big, enormous throat. You got to get through the blubber. Think about how much you have too much compassion and you're the victim. Think about how much... Think about how much... It's that old saying.

It's corny. It's in a lot of those uh love language books we like to read right so like hurt people hurt people right so like a lot of that was just projection on himself how he feels about himself and he's just trying to see other people in his state and i understand how that can be viewed as like well fuck him if he wants to talk shit about me but in my opinion if somebody's that far gone, which to me, it looks like he's close to the end of the road. Honestly, man, it looks like he's close to. He does this thing sometimes where he he takes pictures of the hollow point bullets that he's got for killing himself. I mean, and a lot of that is because, like I said, like a pendant from the first video, he he's seeking for some kind of like somebody, some semblance of compatibility.

He just wants to be accepted. He wants like it's just tough to watch because I know people I've dealt with people like that before. And I try to drop my ego and not to get all super Dr. Phil Oprah on y'all, but I try to drop my ego um in those situations and it's not necessarily about me because i'll walk away from that situation fine i'm not depressed i'm mentally healthy for the most part uh but people like that aren't so they're deflecting they're reaching they're just desperate for some kind of attention and a lot of that attention especially in our society it's just negative attention so what any kind of attention is good attention for them so like i feel for that guy man that's that's a tough place to be yeah i do too like like all joking aside i really like wings and um

excuse me for laughing but i'm no no it's funny it's funny you know i i get it it's um we're playing two truths and a lie no i uh i really do like Wings. I would like to have him on the... Chiz is like, cat killer! Yeah, he did kill that kitten in that bucket that time. But I mean, you know, he's... Who hasn't had a pet-related mishap?

No, I like Wings. I feel bad for Wings. I wish Wings were doing better. I wish he were more emotionally sound and he had more friends and stuff. I would like to have Wings on the show and joke around about some of the silly stuff that he's said and done over the years.

But his brain doesn't work good. I like what Wings could be. So sometimes it's hard to make him see his own silliness. He doesn't... He's an odd guy. He doesn't get it sometimes, to put it

simply. I do feel bad for Wings. I wish he would do better. I don't like seeing him cry. I mean, I do like seeing him cry. It really tickles me. But... You can't hide. I care about him. I really like watching the crying.

Something about it gets me up. Because that wasn't a normal cry, right? Everybody who just watched that, they're like, why does he sound like he's like a wounded animal why is he squealing like that you know it's funny it's funny yeah they feel bad for him but it's still funny it's like that to me it's like that movie and i don't know how deep that would get but it's it's like i don't remember what movie is that where um the the more people whoever watched on the internet the faster that person died.

They would kidnap a person and the more people that watched, the faster he would die. To me, it's kind of like that and he's kind of going through that right now. But it's the opposite. The fewer viewers he gets, the closer he gets to killing himself. Oh my god. Oh my god.

But Kyle really cares though i like the wings could be best is fantastic right wings at his best is kind of funny he's more clever than you'd guess for a guy with his background like like you know he sometimes has some good insight into different subjects or you know current events or whatever like what wings at his best is pretty cool wings Wings at his worst is positively toxic. And I had never heard hurt people hurt people. But it rings super

true. It's just hard to wait around for his best version. You should feel so sorry for me. I must be hurting so badly. Probably. In this situation,

aren't I the one who really deserves... You're the one who deserves the sympathy, right? Yeah, right? Clearly, I'm the one who's hurting the most. Because you're hurting the most. See? I can't argue with your logic

You really got me Right? Kyle's hurting people so much He must be hurting so much Poor Kyle That's exactly what I'm saying for Wings If your goal was to get Wings back on the show I feel like you may have self-sabotaged a bit

Call him a fat fuck! Make fun of him in front of 100,000 people! Yeah, do it! Yes! They both agree. He has an angel... He has a devil and a meaner devil on his shoulders.

Angel food cake over here and devil's food cake over here they both hate him oh my god i think i really like watching really really heavy people lose weight and get their lives back you know isn't it like ideally i'd like to see like it's happening with boogie right now that he's like uh he's under 400 right aaron we we've had a repeat guest on the show his name is boogie 2899 i think i'm terrible with the numbers and uh uh he had gastric bypass surgery he was over 500 right yeah he was like 550 pounds like he was a big boy and then he and then uh they put him on like a super strict diet before the surgery in hopes of performing the surgery on him when he was under 500.

But he's actually like 505. Anyway, so he's lost about 150 pounds so far. And, I mean, it's made a world of difference. Yeah. 150 pounds. He's lost like a whole person. Yeah. That is a whole person.

This is him before. I don't know if that was his heaviest. I didn't pick the most flattering photo. I just picked the... Oh my god! I didn't pick the most flattering photo. I just picked this photo of him shirtless

eating an entire jar of great value applesauce like a retarded caterpillar. I was trying to find a picture of him as his fattest. Why does he even bother with that goatee, right? It's so it doesn't look like he has a double chin. Why does he shave the chins? Well, you can't shave chins. That would be scarring. Shave the chins? Well, you can't shave chins. That would be scarring.

Shave the chins. I can't find any ones of his weight loss. No, maybe I can. Grab a recent video. He has a video where... I actually found one. There you go. I love Boogie, though.

Look at this. This is what we want to shame wings into doing. Look at this. This man is becoming more and more fuckable by the day This man is his own cock. Oh No, I see it man. He does too wings can't see his cock. I don't see his guy But I don't have that video cheers. Give me the give me give me the video where wings says he can't see his own dick September my god

2017 does not tell the picture. Because January of 2018, he is way thinner. Fucking Melania Trump is going to use this for her anti-cyberbullying example. Like for her next big goal. Can you grab a very recent boogie video? Even if I just sit on it still. There's no such thing as bad publicity. I don't know if that's true.

If you look at these cyber bullies, they are making fun of the large man. Where do you think Milani is from? Eastern New York somewhere. I am from Curacao. No, of course not. Are we actually watching this or no?

Yes. The W wings video? It's six seconds. It's six seconds? I guess I can watch a six second video. Of course you can watch a six second video. It's seven seconds. You're fake news.

Oh, wait. Now it's six. Weird. Yeah, mine's six seconds. It said seven while it was loading. I can't explain it. All right. Are we all cute if it's zero?

Yep. Good to go. Ready, set, play. I can't explain it. Are we all queued up at zero? Ready, set, play. I can't see my penis at all. Only time I can see it is in a mirror. That's all you need. I didn't know that's what we were playing. Was he doing a Q&A or something?

He was probably in a live stream. Yeah. Yeah, well, I hope Wing's the best. And you know what, Kyle? After you send him some keeps, I bet things are going to start looking up. Oh, looking up. Dude, just click on that last video. Boogie is looking so much thinner.

Yeah, man. Oh, wow. He got a nice haircut too. Yeah. I just have it on mute while he talks yeah good for you boogie boogie yeah if you're out there listening to this and sorry i hope you don't feel too bad about the way i went after wings there you know i only do it because i'm a bad person but you look you look great i'm like not for me to be proud of you or anything that seems kind of weird to say but like i'm astonished i love what you got going on here you are looking more and

more handsome by the day more and more healthy i don't think you're going to die an early death anymore when and we used to think that it was like jesus christ everybody did like your doctors i'm sure thought that awesome please keep this up please keep this up have you ever watched that show uh there you go my 600 yeah i like this guy he was on it oh no what was he on i like this guy there is a show good seeing you in that light though where they like not totally ruthless Kids in the basement As soon as we get off here

Some skin lamps to tan There was a show where they juxtaposed A really thin person and a heavy person Had them eat each other's diets Boogie was on it Yeah, super size versus super skinny And just like those Tc shows it's a way to gawk at abnormal people while pretending that it's all about helping them but really what you

want to watch is the big fat bitch sitting there having to eat like the skinny bitches uh so basically arian if you don't know the show is they take a big giant fat person and a little tiny skinny person and they show them what the other one eats and then for like a couple days they have to only eat what the other one does and it inevitably resolves like with in like the confession booth the skinny person being like i don't know how they can eat as much this is disgusting it is disgusting how much they're eating and they're like anorexic and then the fat person's like well i don't know how i'm supposed to get by on three saltines for lunch. My blood sugar's so low, my feet are number than usual.

What is this called? It's called Super Size vs. Super Skinny. And it's on YouTube? Oh, there's a ton of it on YouTube. I'll write it down, because I definitely want to watch the train wreck. I like watching shows about really really heavy people like almost like as a warning sign for yourself because when you see somebody

who's really really fat and you get that like instinct in your brain of like oh bad bad unhealthy like i think that's you juxtaposing your own potential gluttony or sloth or whatever onto that onto yourself and realizing oh i'm just you, a handful of bad decisions in time away from being in that same unhealthy state. So, you know, there's a natural, you know, averseness to it. I've said this before, but as the old person on the, on the show, it's so easy to gain weight. You don't even have to gain a lot. Like if you gain four pounds over the course of an entire year you'd think that's nothing right but 10 years goes by and it's something yeah in 40 pounds over 10 years you're probably in the overweight or

maybe even like low obese territory yeah i think that it's it's a tough it's a tough thing for people like you have to have discipline to not gain weight especially if you have like certain i see just munching down his snacks but um so i have that i have that type of body type where i can gain 10 pounds in a weekend easily no question so i have to actually be cognizant of what i'm putting in my body this is 1700 calories and you fucked it up. Kudos. But Kyle doesn't do weight loss the way you do, which I assume is you start eating healthier and being more active. Kyle goes on crash diets like a starlet in, like, 1960. He's one step from tapeworms.

It's probably even more unhealthy than binge eating. Probably so, but it looks good. I can lose so much weight in such a short period of time. A pound a day, no problem. It's not just water weight, because I'll maintain it for weeks at a time. Dog, you are like the personification of the internet.

Thank you. You are the walking internet, dog. It's's just hilarious but it's good but it looks good oh yeah but it looks good a little bit of uh fasting for 19 days i get that hollowed look in my in my jawline like chase Utley. Very gaunt. Nice attitude. I'm definitely the same way as you, Arian, except I never played in the NFL. Basically the same person.

Very similar. I looked up your size and stats. Pretty similar there. My 40 is probably not as good. What is your 40? Your vertical leap isn't quite on par, but other than that.

Other than that, fucking I get upset at Kyle sometimes because he will talk about, like, or send us texts of giant feasts. Like, on, like, a Tuesday at midnight, I'll, like, wake up to a picture of, like, fondue feast time. And it's, like, how many people do you have over right now? And you're, like, just me. Just me in front of my computer. And it's, like, easily five or six people's worth.

And, like, meanwhile, I'm so much worse at eating. I love to eat. I want to eat so many fucking goldfish and so many crackers. You want to know what I ate last night? So much chorizo and sausage and cheese. Chorizo is a hard one to walk away from. I drink an eight-pack of these black cherry sodas that are 200 calories a piece. I ate an entire container of crab dip, an entire bag of Doritos. I ate a family-sized portion of

mashed potatoes, a family-sized portion of macaroni and cheese, four large chicken fingers covered in buffalo sauce. Then I woke up at like two in the morning and I was a bit peckish. So I ate two sour cream donuts, had two cups of coffee with a couple scoops of sugar in each of them. There were a few Doritos left in the bottom of the bag, so I like finished all of them. Blaze. Blaze Doritos. Very spicy. I don't want you to move past that too quick,

because you texted me last night about this, where you're like, oh, not too much food in the house, but I got Doritos and crab dip. Yeah yeah as though that's a match made in heaven that's jalapeno that's fucking disgusting it's jalapeno crab dip it's quite spicy and i get the spicy doritos and i use those abhorrent yeah if you drop that into fucking ethi they'd be like, we need something better to pay with this. They wouldn't eat it because it's disgusting. They'd eat it. They'd eat it.

I've been eating so much Indian food lately, like so much tikka masala, just pounds of rice, and almost every night. Like I've spent $500 on Indian food easily since i've been in this house like like i eat it i've eaten two meals that that were actually one of them was last night it was the chicken fingers and mashed potatoes because it snowed here and they wouldn't deliver my indian food and the other kitty made indian food so it was just indian food again but i get them delivered it's like 70 every single time it's this enormous serving of rice i mean enough rice four normal people could make a meal out of just the rice and then it's a huge bowl of curry and chicken or i usually get the lamb i'm getting the lamb lately like that a lot and i order

a bread basket of non-bread and then i get an additional order of non-bread because kitty likes to like eat some of the non-bread and i want enough naan bread to go around. I dip it in the masala sauce and just I need it all. What's your weight up to now? I don't have my scale with me but Are you noticing any punch? I've probably gained a couple of pounds. I would guess that I'm about 180 Oh wow.

181, 182 somewhere in there what were you thinking when you said oh wow I'm listening to the shit that he eats and he's just 180 I'll drop down to 170 before long

I'll rubber band up and down, what was I down to a while back like a couple months ago 165 or something are you one of those people that that you have to like force yourself to eat or else you'll lose weight i wouldn't say that um probably that yeah i guess if i don't eat i will lose weight for sure yeah see i got i got a buddy that that's like he has to like he doesn't want to eat like if he could just drink all his food he would but he has to make himself he doesn't like eating he doesn't like food he just has to eat or else he'll just like drop weight dramatically i'm like i'm

exactly the opposite i love food food's probably my favorite thing i think i might food is like right here with pussy like just just fucking neck and neck like as you as you grow older too like it starts to surpass honestly yeah i think that's what's going on like my dream i know you guys are both 31 woody's 44 i'm i'll be 27 soon 26 now what age does does that intersection occur because Because I'm still on the side of it where pussy is better than food. Depends on how much pussy you're getting.

That's a huge variable. I think. Well, yeah, if it's like right after you have a lot of sex in a weekend. That's not what I'm talking about. Oh, I don't know what you mean. Talk to him, walk in and then... I mean, if you...

I think you mean. Talk to him walking in and out. I mean, if you... I think you do. I think you do know what I'm talking about. I said talk to him. Yeah. You know, Taylor has discovered Tinder, and Taylor is running that game strong right now. He's got ascended candles behind him.

His apartment. Look how clean that fucking apartment is. I know dudes that have... That's way too clean for a straight man's house, right? That apartment right now smells of coconut candle. It smells of Tahitian coconut. And pussy.

Well, that's what the candles are for. To cover the lingering smell of pussy. Tinder's great. I wish they had GamerScore. I'm going to send that. Right? I, clip that. I'm going to send that. Right? I just want that. Yeah, the candles are to

cover the lingering smell of pussy. That's going to be great for future. I want to see the achievements that he's unlocked on Tinder. Yeah. Once you max out your gamer score, you're going to be like, God, I would like some of that lamb tikka masala that Kyle was talking about. Fuck, it's made coconut? Ooh, that creamy coconut base, that sounds good.

It's super spicy, too. I can feel it burning in my belly when I eat it. I'm like, oh yeah, so that's where my stomach is. You can feel it. It's so spicy, so good. Thankfully, you don't have to pick between food and pussy. Unless you indulge too much in food, and then you may be excluded from the pussy game. I want to combine the two. Whenever, uh, whenever. Soon. Soon, my friend, you and I are going to Las Vegas.

I know that. You're going to make her wear, like, a non-bread bikini. We bring this up every week. But we're going to get some whores. We're going to get some food. We're going to put the food on the whores. And then we're going to get some whores. We're going to get some food. We're going to put the food on the whores, and then we're going to eat it off of them, and we're going to make it racial. We're going to eat sushi off the Japanese women. Oh, my God.

We're going to eat crackers off the white girls. We're going to eat chicken off the black girls. It's going to be fucking great, and we're going to have a contest to see who can eat it fastest. And the winner gets their girl naked. I think all of our guys are naked because these are prostitutes, right? Everybody wins. Everybody wins. It's going to be great. I don't want to eat crackers.

You don't have to eat the crackers. Chiz can eat the crackers. Or Woody. I'm sure Woody's wife will sign this trip. I have nothing to do with this. Or Woody. I'm sure Woody's wife will sign this trip. I'm not coming. I have nothing to do with this. Shut up. Hey, Jackie, I gotta go for my

paramotoring trip. See you later. Next week, she turns on Twitch. What the fuck? Woody's got a cheese quiz all over his face. He's grown out that Woody beard to try to be in disguise.

The evil woody beard. He's got a red woodrow. Wow. Do you have a beard, Woody? I can grow a pretty good beard. Oh, I used to grow a gray beard. Now I grow a thick beard with lots of gray hair in it. I always wondered why men don't have hair on their face.

Like, because, not for any, like, weird reason, but just, just like it takes so much effort to shave you have to shave every fucking day like my wife prefers it so i i sometimes tell her how taylor is slaying it on tinder and she's like what he he has a beard though as if he's a burn victim as if like like how could he how could anyone possibly like somebody with a beard that is her line of thinking hence no beer i don't know maybe it's the demographic i'm used to but like women love beards women love beards no harley said the opposite harley's incorrect harley's beard is outrageous though right yeah when women say they like beards they don't like the kind of beard that

like comes out to here that you're getting compliments on that from other dudes yes chicks don't like that kind of beard chicks like a shorter beard like something uh like arian has i don't appreciate that but uh i don't know man like every i mean i think it's just what demographic you're you're pandering to like the what like women from my experience women love i guess the ones that ones that I don't talk to because they don't come around. But, like, women love beards. Yeah. Yeah, they definitely do. I think all men should have beards.

But, Woody, you already out the game, man. So, shave away, fam. You got to shave away, fam. Yeah, that's what she wants. Is what it is. Kyle's still in the game. And Kyle can go a pretty great mustache. and Kyle can go a pretty great mustache what's a date

Kyle what is a date like in your life bro I need to know this I really like movies I love movies I can talk about movies for hours and hours at a time I've seen like most of the movies to put it broadly

and obsessively most of the movies, to put it broadly and obsessively. You've seen most of the movies? Yeah. So fucking many. How could you know? It's so many hours of movies. So I really like taking a girl to a movie. The dinner and movie thing, I think, is pretty classic

for a first date or something like that because worst case scenario, and you go to the movie first and then dinner because by the time after the movie you're hungry and now you've got something to talk about at dinner if you can't come up with anything else. But if you're going on a second

or third date, I like to do something interesting like it sounds stupid but airsoft is fun. Something athletic. Something where we go out and shoot each other. Like paintball but small pellets yeah you go play airsoft

or paintball or go do something athletic okay okay or go for a jog or go out in the park or go for a walk or something there's always food because food and movies are my favorite things and then hopefully there's sex and then we get the trifecta

that's the number three in your list. First is movies. Yes, then we complete the triangle. The all-seeing eyes at the top. I never, ever go to movies on dates. Really? You're wild. Because I like going out to a bar with them. I like taking them to a restaurant or going to a sports game.

Anything where I'm not forced to sit there and be quiet for too long. Because then I feel like especially we're just getting to know each other, like we're not actually bonding. Like it's kind of almost like like a blind, you know, who knows if we're going to enjoy each other's company after this. So that's that's why I feel like it's a good move if it's a first date to go on a movie, then dinner, because then you can see what kind of you can really. How did this person dissect the movie? Did they dissect it like I did? You can really kind of cut through a lot of the red tape if you

have a foundation to talk... something to talk to about, something to talk about on the date. So rather than going blind, not blindly, but you're just kind of sitting there filling space because that shit gets annoying. And I don't like drunk girls. I don't like going to the bar with a girl

because I don't like drunk girls. I don't like drunk people in general. They're fucking annoying as shit. I hate drunk people. That's surprising. Not like going to an club kind of shit

where it's loud like, what's your name? Like that. Like more like just a more casual bar where you can have a couple drinks and get to know each other. No, the alcohol is the problem, not the locale. Even better than that, in your case, Kyle, would be like a coffee date. Coffee dates are great because you get kind of a better feel for it in a way because it's like usually like a Saturday afternoon. You get a feel for the kind of person they are on like a friday night because you can ask them about what they did the previous night and you know if they're like a party girl or if they're

you know just you know more chill looking for something like i don't know i just like being able to talk way more than having to sit there in silence yeah yeah i definitely like like the talking that's but you know i like the, too. I like talking about movies with people. That's probably, like, I really enjoy that. Like, if I were going to do any other kind of show rather than, like, this comedy thing we do, it would be, like, a movie review thing. I could sit and talk for hours about, like,

The Godfather or fucking the Star Wars movies or anything, really. You've seen most of them, though. I've seen most of them. I've seen so many fucking movies. Kyle's not even tooting his own horn. It is unreal how many random ass movies you'll have a reference on. Yeah,

yeah. Or stuff he's consumed. Like, oh, Game of Thrones. Yes, I've seen all of those six times. Yeah,

name a, name a fucking TV show. Not only have I seen it, I've seen it. Absolutely. Fucking Clinger, fucking, um,

Radar. Ohulahan. Ohora. Fucking Ohora was hot as shit. I've never watched MASH. That's because it's about the Korean fucking conflict. That shit was made in the 70s. Alan Alda is the star of that. You have no reason to watch it, Taylor. Neither do I.

Gunsmoke. You know a lot about that. Gunsmoke. I didn't like Gunsmoke. I liked the one that Clint Eastwood was in. That western show. Bonanza. Bonanza! So what I didn't like was when they replaced

one of the brothers. So there was Little Joe, there was Haas, and what was the third brother's name? No idea. Ben Partwright was the dad. Their chef's name is Hop Singh. The Bonanza, I believe, was 80,000 acres.

Black Mirror. Now, that's new. I haven't gotten into that. I haven't seen that. Black Mirror is my favorite shit right now. Is it really? Do you feel like it's a little too repetitive? Like it's just some like British dude sitting in there at some point like,

Oi, what if we made it so like phones, right? Fucking phones. Dial U. Yeah? No, throw that one in the pile. That's season five. All right. A fucking Roomba, mate. A fucking Roomba, mate. Yeah? yeah no throw that one in the pile that's season five all right a fucking roomba mate a fucking roomba mate yeah it's got a face on it of dead folks already passed away remind you of them

gives little feedback coins like your accent is insanely accurate a million of them that's just funny but yeah but i i can see how you say that but to me it's um the the script's a real good script it's well written right and so that's what i look for in like entertainment that i like that i like to watch is like it's well written that's like so i started watching i wasn't really good i wasn't really big on tv shows but when i retired i just started binge watching like i didn't leave the house for two weeks one time when i and i gained i've been watched uh binge watched game of thrones oh your clown phase yeah so this was a problem though so like i before that i started watching uh the walking dead and so i got to like season six and then and then we started game of thrones and so then i went back to the walking dead and it's

just not the same quality yeah yeah it Yeah. It's not even close. Yeah, the writing is just not like – Their budget is like $1.6 million an episode on The Walking Dead. In Game of Thrones, it's like $10 or $12 million or something like that. But it's not even necessarily like the props or the set. It's the writing. The writing's bad. The writing's bad.

And it's – I wouldn't say it's bad. I don't want to disrespect the writers. It's's bad. I wouldn't say it's bad. I don't disrespect the writers. It's not to the standard of a Game of Thrones. Not at all. I couldn't even finish Walking Dead. I just lost interest in it.

That's why I like Black Mirror. Black Mirror is very well written. It's well thought out. Have you seen The Wire? I haven't. The Wire might be the best tv show there's ever been it's about it's in baltimore maryland and it focuses equally on the law enforcement and the drug dealers and it kind of goes back and forth and uh and they're

sort of chasing after each other and i don't know which side is more interesting yeah both sides are equally interesting like like you're over there with mcnulty and the fucking cops and you're sort of chasing after each other. And I don't know which side is more interesting. Yeah, both sides are equally interesting. Like you're over there with McNulty and the fucking cops, and you're like, ah, come on, get the wire in place. Why won't the Sarge let you put it in? And then you go back to the fucking street dealers, and they're like the main criminal. He's like taking business school classes

and fucking taking notes and shit, learning about economics to make his crack-dealing empire better. It's good shit. I've heard about it so much. Everybody I know has watched that shit, and I have yet to. I don't know why. I didn't have cable when it came out.

That's what happened. It's fucking great. It's very, very good. I've heard about it. It's strong. I'm going gonna check it out i like the sopranos all that shit being in the nfl for so long like having everything be about football and even college before like when you got out and retired there had to be some shit like tv shows you know like pop culture shit that you didn't even know existed like where you were

just like oh shit how long have they been doing this for like you probably had so much to catch up on because you're not you don't have your finger on the pulse when you're working your ass off yeah a lot i missed out on a lot actually um well i was in the missed out it was for a reason but like so game of thrones was a huge one i had no idea about it started like what you said in 2010 i i didn't even hear about it until 2016 and that's when you watch game of thrones like no i had no idea what it was about um that was that was a big one uh what else let me see i can't think of any off the head like that i think game of thrones yeah matched up perfectly motorcycles motorcycles they those have been

invented for a while but i had never like i've never fucking heard of that shit before. But I bought a motorcycle when I got out of the league. What'd you get? It was a Harley. Really nice Harley bike. And then Harvey happened to flood. And it got flooded out. Yeah, I just got the insurance money from it. And I just didn't want to go through that whole process and get another one.

And plus my mom was on my ass about it. Aaron, what's it like being a smart guy in an NFL locker room? You're saying I'm smart, man. I appreciate that. Yeah, that's pretty clear. But, like, some of those guys don't seem so smart. And they're a little aggressive or maybe easily provoked. I don't know.

How's locker room i think a lot of that is marketing so it's it's never as bad as it seems and it's never as good as it seems that's what it's kind of the old adage but um it's different being because i was a philosophy major right so i feel like if you have any kind of interest in philosophy, you kind of fancy yourself a thinker. So I do, and I fancy myself a thinker. I think when you're in that environment, you, it is not a thinker's environment. It's kind of, it's all about conformity.

And when you're, when you kind of step outside of that um that lane you're kind of considered uh hazardous to the to the progress of the team uh because you kind of if you question a coach it's not they don't take it as genuine uh inquisitiveness they look at you like you're questioning authority who do you think you are like it's a weird culture military thing no it is so they they they kind of beat you like that so it's like if you see player and i've talked about this before but if you see like player coach relationships it's not like father son that's rare it's it's just it's more like like they treat you like cattle more so like you do

what i say and they're gonna beat it into you it's more like very assertive uh aggressive way of doing things and so when you're when i'm when i was in that environment that's kind of what led me to want to end it early was because i couldn't i couldn't take that anymore it was a it was a stupid fucking way to handle people, and it was a game at the end of the day, and I always knew it was a game. I used to be in practice, and I'm looking at people yelling at the screen.

I'm like, this shit is crazy how into this you are. You're yelling at people. Veins popping out. I've seen coaches be having heart attacks. You see coaches go through physical problems because of how intense they are. And I just, I can't relate because it's, I understand it's your job. I just can't relate to how seriously you take it.

Sometimes I see guys on the sidelines, like, yelling at their teammates, pumping them up. And, like, I put myself in that position because, you know, I could have been. And it's just, I don't think I responded well to well to that like that guy yeah just a little primal it depends on it depends on how it is like like and it depends on who does it too right so like i feel like any if you put a a group of males in in a room together i don't know what the fuck this video is if you put if you put a group of males in a room together like alphas there's an alpha that's gonna uh emerge out of out of that out of that group and so you kind of lean towards those males but when people are betas trying to be alphas and like forcefully so like coaches kind of deem people leaders on the team because they

this is your team and then you kind of see it just becomes a shit show because then you're following a cat that doesn't even follow himself and it's just a whole it's just the the culture is just a mass bravado just masquerading as humility and it's the weirdest shit. Does it annoy you when someone does well in a game or a story in general, and then they thank God? Like God himself has any interest in your – not that he exists or anything, but that God has some interest in your football play? Like if you believe that the creator of the universe, the guy who invented atoms

and human beings and giraffes and asteroids and stars, gives a fuck how many yards you got today. Does that annoy you? It annoys the fuck out of me when I see Tim Tebow

fucking T-bowing. Does that annoy you? Because it annoys the fuck out of me when I see Tim Tebow fucking... T-Bowing. T-Bowing. It used to annoy me to the point where I'm like, this shit is fucking corny. It used to bother me a lot. But then as I kind of grew, my empathy level has grown. of grew it my empathy level has has grown so like i would have laughed a little harder at those wings videos uh yeah five to eight years ago but like oh you just gotta know a little better but like now when i see people doing that that's just the way they express their love for whatever they feel is in existence. So I don't think the majority of America in

general has questioned their belief systems to the point where they have pondered that theological question of if there was a God, or they obviously believe that, but if there's a God, how much does he give a shit about this game and if he does give a shit about this game he's kind of neglecting starving children and he's kind of neglecting uh murderers uh being holding them accountable he's kind of neglecting rape victims he's kind of like he doesn't care and if he care, that's what I'm saying. So give God all the glory. It makes no sense to me because you never hear somebody who has a terrible, shitty game, three fumbles, four interceptions. Like, you know, I couldn't have done this without God.

You'll never hear that. That one's on you, Jesus. You'll never hear that. Fumble fingers? What the fuck? I was holding on tight god damn it jesus was helping the cubs tonight i should have known exactly there were four footsteps and then there were two where the fuck were you jesus and you'll never you'll never hear that and it's my problem with religion or people's theological beliefs in beliefs in general is that they give all positive attributes to their divine creator, but the negative is all the devil.

And I always have this conversation with Christians or Muslims. I'm like, okay, well, if that's the case, who created the devil? That's your boy, too. No, he created himself. Then you get into this whole, they just play mental gymnastics to get away from that point.

There's no real rational. Who created the devil? Well, Jesus created the devil, but then the devil chose to go against it. Well, is God omniscient? Then he would have known that ahead of time. Maybe he could have just created the two- if you just created the devil but then the devil chose to go against it well as god omniscient then he would have known that ahead of time maybe he could have just created the two-thirds of the angels that were chill exactly you know it's like it's a whole convoluted you know nonsensical loop as far as religion goes if it helps to be a better person i think it's fine go for it just don't tell me what i can and can't do because i go back and forth with that because um you can't believe it for sure but i go back and forth with uh as long as it makes you be a

better person because i think a lot of uh religious doctrines hold us back as a society right so you have people out here really believing that the earth is 6 000 years old when it's demonstrably not so, right? And then you have people pushing, well, teach creationism with evolution. And it's like when that shit starts to happen, then it's like, no, this doesn't help you be a better person. I don't care how good you are to people. You're actually doing a disservice to kids who then think there's a debate going on. There's no debate going on there's no debate going on and that's my huge problem

with religion where I go back and forth on believe what you want to believe you should look at it like you look at like fairy tales like they have a moral to them right like there's a reason you know there's a reason you don't go into that gingerbread house over there that lady might try to fucking cook your ass up and eat you

there aren't any fucking witches that's a great example don't take candy from strangers there. That lady might try to fucking cook your ass up and eat you. Not the most apt example. That's a great example. Don't take candy from strangers. Good fucking example. That's what that story teaches you. Little Red Riding Hood, all that stuff. Halloween sucks at Kyle's house.

Put those razor blades in the apples. We did it all. He gives out Indian food. Kids would love that. This gif that I linked. I showed it to everybody. Damn. While Arian was talking, that thing was playing.

I feel bad for her. Obviously, that was a stupid thing to do, but fuck. I like the way that she loves up the lizard afterwards. Like, oh, I forgive you. We're still buddies. I think that was before. She doesn't know what's going on.

I think they love. We'll see. It's a gift. Look at her eyes. She's got one eye looking like in a different direction. Oh, my God. Yeah. I think she's loving.

I don't know. I don't know the order. In any case, that's fuck. And, yeah, she does look a little fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. She does not look sober look a little fucked up. Yeah, yeah. She does not look sober. Again, I don't like drunk people. Girl put an iguana next to her tongue.

Iguana bit the tongue, predictably. And now she's got a bloody tongue. Yeah, lots of blood. They show the iguana the blood. And my interpretation is, look what you did. Why would you be so mean to me? And then at the very end, she loves up the iguana. And he's like, because I'm a lizard you dumb bitch

yeah cause hey the scorpion and the frog right my ancestors ruled this planet you whore you came from the mice you knew what I was before you invited me in that's right the old scorpion and the frog do I have it right

there's two of them scorpion and the frog and then there's the snake that the woman invites into her home. That's true. That's the Donald Trump thing that they were playing a lot. I saw that I guess, or at least I heard on the news today that they came out

something about Donald fucking that Stormy Daniels. Daniel Storm I think is her name. I'm not going to trust you. You know what? That's good policy. I said Stormy Daniels, and I was right. Oh, yeah, you were right. Stormy Daniels.

What they said on the radio was that he had her spank him with a Forbes magazine that he was on the cover of, and he watched a lot of Shark Week. He doesn't watch Shark Week. He was fascinated with Shark Week,

she said, and I'm just like, shit, I mean, I can get down like that. I love Shark Week. I would definitely like Shark Week. It's great. It's the best week of the year. This is not an original thought. Everyone's saying it, but it's kind of interesting how he has so many scandals that none of them really stick right so if people don't know apparently when baron was like he had

gotten married baron was like three months old he fucked stormy daniels uh i don't know if he paid her or not or sugar daddy what the scoop was and uh then later on, they paid her hush money to be quiet. But apparently Stormy Daniels had paid, I'm sorry, told other people they leaked this story and now it's kind of out. But Donald Trump fucked this porn star and repeatedly, I think.

And by the way, you had to throw this out there to this day and age. It was all consensual. There was no thought that he had power over her or rape or whatever um this is just a situation where maybe he paid her or maybe she just liked being

near a celebrity he got her to sign his copy of her porno after they fucked he also raw dogged her just like my boy with the herp uh so uh and but even so like cheating on your wife right after she had a baby would be a scandal that would bury most presidents come on strong point strong point but um with Trump like this is like the

third most interesting thing he's done this week so it's not going to be a problem for him I think at this point there's just so many um trump apologists that they will pivot in any direction to justify anything that he does i think he can literally get away with murder right now he said he could i think he can but but he can say anything and people will just be like well he, he didn't mean it when he said that. He does say that.

He says, I go back to Miss Teen USA and look at the underage girls because I can get away with it, and the underage girls say, yeah, actually he did that, and they're like, yeah, but who really cares? He says, I grab him by the pussy, and they say, ah, that's not. Locker room talk. He didn't mean it. Locker room talk. Locker room talk.

As a man who's been admitting a locker room. Have you ever heard anything similar to that? Good question. Like, do you... I'm a star. A guy basically bragging about how he can go up and just grab a girl and... Just kiss him like

yeah in all honesty like no i've never heard anybody say yo i can i can walk up to anybody and just grab him by the box and and it's all good no because i think professional athletes are a little more under the microscope than that and and women are already trying to hit a lick when they meet you anyways yeah so um i'm pretty sure there's guys out there that feel that way but i i just personally have never heard anybody say yo that's my mo i grew up and i could do whatever i want with women it's really it's more of a culture of like yo you have to be real careful around women because they're after you what does hit me oh man i apologize man i hit a lick mean? Oh, man. I apologize, man. Hit a lick.

And I keep saying box, too. Box is another word. I know box. I didn't know. I didn't know. What do you? When a boy and a girl love each other very much. No, they call that going clamming.

Is that just sex? Hit a lick? Hit a lick no i hit a hit a hit a lick means um like come up on on money so like if i if i was like witty man me and you're gonna go rob a bank that's like we're gonna go hit a lick we're gonna come up on something okay like you know what come up means like i'm keeping up you're going to burgle this establishment I would go into the constabulary anonymously, you see. It would be advantageous for us to. Can't be legal. Of course not, Nigel.

I love that his name's Nigel. That's his code name. Really rough. That's his code name. Really rough. Did you, uh, now, some conspiracy theories seem valid, some don't, and

Trump weighing 239 pounds, I am not convinced of this. That makes you 49. A girther conspiracy theorist. I think that girther phrasing conspiracy theorist i think that's funny phrasing is fucking hysterical he's 260 270 no no fucking way like and they like they showed him next to

like a like professional athlete and i was like oh that's not that's not fair because muscle does weigh more than fat but then i was like but even so is he just not just so little muscle and just packed full of fat that he's just fluffy? It's just not true. Like there's no way. They added height too. Did you know they added height? Like his driver's license says he's 6'2 or something, but in the physical they made him 6'3. And by the way, he says he's 6'4 sometimes, but when he stands next to Obama, he's not taller than him.

This note is so funny to me. But they added an inch to his height. It's the same doctor that works with Bush, W, and Obama. Oh, by the way, they lied for Obama. They said Obama was a non-smoker in his thing, but that wasn't true.

Obama smoked the whole way through. I was surprised he smoked Reds. Oh, I don't know anything about that. What's a Red? Marlboro Reds. He's smoking like Marlboro Reds. Yeah, I always thought he'd be smoking menthols. I worked with a lot of black guys, and none of them smoked non-menthol cigarettes.

It's the reason I always smoke menthol cigarettes. He's half red. Everybody, he is? I never was big on cigarettes, man. Yeah, of course not. You of course now you're fucking professional Smoke weed though. So yeah, but that's not bad for you. Did anybody that you met in the NFL smoke cigarettes? Cigarettes yeah, I feel like that'd be super rare, but there's got to be like someone right? Okay, so not necessarily simple like black and mild

Yeah like someone right well okay so not necessarily simple like black and milds yeah but they're not like chain smokers no it's more like you do you do it like when you out partying and you have them with your drinks stuff like that i did that on occasion in college is that a cigar god damn it woody i don't drink i don't smoke don't do anything i shave my face. I go to work. Now, Black and Miles are just cigars. Tobacco cigars. You inhale them. They have a little plastic filter on them.

They sell them in a little package at the gas station. Some people might lick one and break it open and put something else in there. Y'all send me some mouth wash i'll send you some black and miles how about that i knew about probably like 70 60 to 70 percent of the cats in the league smoke weed do they drug test so this has always been an anomaly to me or not an anomaly it's

always been fucking weird to me how cats get banned or caught for smoking weed ricky williams they do drug test you but they drug test you one time for street drugs so you'll get tested one and usually you know the time so when ota start which is probably april mayish mayish to training camp so from april to may you're going to get tested and usually it's in the earlier part some guys have to wait a little later they do it by a position group but you get tested one time for street drugs and the rest of the year you're clear you should get tested for performance enhancing drugs after that so you literally just have to stop smoking for maybe one or two months and clear your system and be good take the test and you can smoke the next year the entire every single day and you won't get caught so like cats that get caught like that are

i have no idea what is ricky williams thinking that dude i don't get he was the man like i my one of my best friends was a huge dolphins fan So, and like right in the middle of that whole thing, it was like, what was it, 2004, 2005? He was incredible. Like, you played fucking Madden, you got Ricky Williams. He was easy. He was the shit. And then, like, just marijuana charges, marijuana charges, and he's just out of the league and gone. I don't even, I can't even, I wonder what he's up to right now.

I think he's actually in austin coaching i think there's a 30 for 30 that talks i don't know if you've seen it but you might like it he was so talented it was so fun to watch play yeah that's my guy man ricky's my guy he's looking at the nfl bodies it seems like there's a lot of peds in that league am i wrong are people actually built like that? He's on my performance and PEDs. Yeah. I never heard it called Peds. They do in the UFC world.

Anyway. I feel you, man. But I don't think that – well, I'll take that back. I do think that it happens, but I think it's rare because um how frowned upon it is in that in in that sport so i i have heard of guys doing it it's not like a big thing though so it's not like uh you know i've heard work with like bikers like uh like lance armstrong cat i heard everybody does it i heard track and field everybody juices and track and field i heard i heard a lot but like in nfl it's not i don't think it's as as prevalent i would think blood doping would be easy to get away with i don't

even know why that's illegal though that that that because you're just using you're just you're just purifying your own blood yeah well they're taking your um the uh your red blood cells and like saving them up over time and then injecting you with a and then more red blood cells than you would ever have and so your blood is super oxygenated it is it is your shit but let me what if they what if they extracted your testosterone over the course of a year a little at a time and they popped you full of a year's worth of extra testosterone you know right for to me i feel like that's that's analogous of if you look at uh who is that old golfer's name ben jones or bobby bobby jones or something like that imagine if he had the nike golf equipment or the tailor-made equipment nowadays right so it's to me it's just equipment it's science uh it's it's

science growing with sport and we we frown upon that now because it's just it's it's abnormal but to me there's no difference the equipment is just getting better i'm all for it my only thing is that like especially in contact sports like you know if you're hitting a little bit harder if you're if in the fourth quarter you're still running at top speed because you got a little extra o2 o2 in your blood and you hit that guy in the head head on and like now you know you injure him it's such a contact sport you really want to level playing field you don't want to make it more violent baseball though i'm like fuck give them an aluminum baseball bat and bring that infield in but they should all be wearing helmets the fuck and they should be the shortstop should be fucking terrified out there.

The laser beams coming at him. Those wooden baseball bats are so dumb. Imagine fucking ping, and that ball jumps off that bat, goes 650 feet. That would be incredible. That would be awesome. You'd have to add an extra outfielder. They'd have to just like record books cut off here and start there. Yeah, exactly.

I'd watch that shit. I mean, I don't watch baseball now. It Yeah, exactly. I've watched that shit. I mean, I don't watch baseball now. It's fucking boring. I watch the highlights. It's tough for me to watch baseball. It's not my... I get on SportsCenter and I watch the highlights. My team's shit now. Anyway, I'm a big Braves fan. So we had our 15-year run

and now it's over. It must have been tough. It was tough. We got one fucking series and what, like 14 pennants or whatever? That was not what we wanted. We weren't even talking about baseball. And then this year was fucking trash for Atlanta. Falcons

lose the Super Bowl last year after halftime. And then Georgia Bulldogs do the same thing. It's been a sad year for my sports teams. Yeah, they've been really teasing Atlanta, haven't they? I mean, top-tier teams this year, though. I mean, number two school in the country, I guess.

It's great for UGA. Our recruiting class is going to be awesome next year. We've got a five-star QB coming out of high school from down here. That shit don't matter, bro. Oh, yeah. Not to piss in your Wheaties from down here that that shit don't matter bro i don't think so not to not to not to piss in your weedies man but that shit doesn't matter it seems like it would i've seen i've seen five star because whoever's ranking them is ranking them but i've seen five-star cats be fucking terrible and i've seen two-star cats be first round draft picks so it's like you just never know what you're going to get. But the recruiting class as a whole, though, if I told you I'm a good chef,

you couldn't feed me any shitty ingredients and expect good stuff? It's a crapshoot, right? So that's why you have the dynasties in college football kind of shift because you think you're getting the best crop of of athletes and then you actually get them and you're like because you you never know like every setting is different so like you can have a running back in minnesota who's killing on his minnesota high school team and then you get him with some of the best athletes in the country and like he's kind of average you know you just never as a crapshoot you just never know yeah well jake from's a true freshman this year,

so we'll have him for at least a couple more. Is he your quarterback last year? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He will be next year, too. But they got, like, I want to say three five-star QBs. One of them will be good. They're all dominating their high school somewhere, kicking asses. They're having a good recruiting year, I'm sure,

after this run they had last year. So'm excited for georgia football next year i'm glad we got rid of fucking mark rick then we got that guy from alabama i love mark rick yeah but not for any kind of coaching reasons just because he he came up to me um it's a personal story. But, like, my senior year, I got royally fucked by my coaches. They just decided not to play me for whatever reason. And I got three carries against Georgia. Like, the previous Georgia, like, I had. So, my sophomore and freshman. No, so, junior and sophomore year, I had three touchdowns each game that game.

Right? So, I killed Georgia. I used to love playing Georgia. It was a fun atmosphere. And I got three carries that year. that just wasn't fucking with me and mark rick came up to me after because i was down i was like because when you're you have no idea what your future is going to be like you see your stock falling you hear agents in your ear families in your ear everybody's in your ear and you're you have no idea where your future is in the balance and mark rick came up to me after the game after after that game, he was like, hey, son, you're a great football player

and you're going to do big things in the next level. I was like, yo, that was a huge boost of confidence for a young kid that didn't know shit about anything. Yeah, that's really cool. Shout out to Mark Rick. Yeah, so he's forever my guy for that. I'm glad he was nice to you. For our football program.

I appreciate the hire, whoever hired it. Yeah. That was neat. So Aaron, you doing podcasting now I hear? Yeah, yeah. I'm stepping out on the ledge, man. Doing a little podcasting. Where do they find it?

They can find it at, let's see, right now it's on iTunes. It's on Stitcher. It's on Google Play, it's on YouTube. I have a YouTube channel where we do video as well. What's it called? The Aryan Brotherhood. Oh, you missed out if you didn't name it that. My man, the walking internet.

It's called Now What Podcast with Aryan Foster. podcast with arian foster and uh basically we i mean we we just we just the the premise of it was kind of just figuring talking to interesting people kind of trying to figure myself out as a as a young 30 year old man just trying to figure myself out through other people and we have interesting conversations sometimes we butt heads sometimes we just talk shit but it's just a cool way um somebody if somebody wants to uh uh spend their hour it's a a cool way if somebody wants to spend their hour. It's a dope little thing to partake in. Is there anything else you'd like to pin? All of our listeners are going to be really psyched to listen to it. Yeah, yeah.

It's funny. Like already, we've got a subreddit. Do you own Reddit? Do you mess with that at all? Yeah, I miss that wave, man. All right. So it's the fucking front page of the internet. But anyway, we've got our subreddit

that's just our shit. It's, I don't know, 30,000 or 40,000 people or something like that. Already, the detectives over there are like, Taylor and Chiz followed this Aryan guy. He was great on Joe Rogan. What if they got him on the show?

They're over there right now trying to work this out, doing some detective work. Scruff McGruffing it up. I followed Arian on Twitter maybe three hours ago. Yeah, they know. They're talking about it already. Jesus Christ, they're detectives. Yeah, it's true.

Man. Well, everybody, check out Arian's podcast for sure. Please do. I appreciate y'all, man. Two hours ago. Two hours ago. You followed him

for one hour, and they had already figured it out. Yeah, they're clever. That is kind of insane, man. That is wild. It's weaponized autism. Weaponized autism. That's insane, man.

And your guy's name is Goat Memer. Well, they want to check out all of our wonderful sponsors, Squarespace, SmartMouth, Audible, and Keeps. Keeps. We'll be experimenting on Wings of Redemption with Keeps any day now. I'll be expecting my bottle of mouthwash in the mail. You'll be getting your SmartMouth.

And y'all will be getting black in my outs. You will be getting your smart mouth. Yeah. And y'all, uh, we'll be getting black and miles. Send mine to Woody. He loves them. Uh, that's funny. I would love to see Woody smoking a black and mile. I'm here for that. I'm here for that.

Just like hanging out. Not even sure. I know how, does it light like a regular cigarette? It lights like a regular cigarette? It's got a plastic Little filter thing on it Honestly I got this all figured out

The plastic side goes in your mouth, right? Correctamundo You would actually probably like it They taste sweet They taste sweet It's much nicer than a cigarette A little smoother than a cigarette Yeah, it's it's a nice it's much nicer than a cigarette it's uh a little smoother than a cigarette yeah yeah it's it's smooth it's it's sweet tasting it's kind of it's mild black and

mild yeah just don't actually that's a bad idea don't don't smoke tobacco pick it up you'll like they make you look cool smoked by professional athletes and online gamers and the like. Black and mild at your local gas station. Pick them up. They do make you look cool, though. I won't say that. Yeah, rappers like them, everybody. Everybody. They'll make you lose weight. Wait, what now?

Dude, I... So I mentioned, I briefly went to this paramotor thing, and in that little small world i'm known so people are taking like pictures of me and posting them to the internet like oh woody's here check this out i'm hanging out with like woody and and uh but i don't know they're taking pictures so i'm not like posing for it and it's like oh my god i have to lift weights like not all these candid shots are all that flattering of me. Woody went out and bought an entire home gym.

I did. It's in the mail. It should be here Monday. My wife and I are moving furniture and dedicating one of the sunrooms. Actually, one of the sunrooms is going to be her office. I'm going to take what was her office.

Shout out to Woody, man. Do your thing. I ain't mad at you, bro. Yeah, I think it's great. No, Chiz, this is not a joke. And he was asking you about the performance enhancing drugs because he's looking for a little edge. Oh, okay. Dude, no one's testing me.

Yeah, if you can send some muscle-bound fellow over there to shoot Woody in the ass with a syringe. I'm all for it, man. Yeah, why not? I'm not hitting anybody. Fuck it. Get them beach ass, man.

Unless they insult your gaming skills. What's that? Unless they insult your gaming skills. Oh, strong point. Yeah. Get the beach body, man. Yes. Stop shaving.

Oh. Don't Stop getting laid. Or maybe start getting laid a lot more. I guarantee you get the beach body. You stop shaving. You're still going to be running the household, man. I promise. I like the way you're thinking. Yeah.

I'll be alpha as fuck. We'll exchange. You can have the Asian hooker. That's the one I wanted. I knew it was. Meanwhile, I'm over there eating guacamole off the Spanish one. That's going to be a real mess.

I was wondering where guacamole would come. It's going everywhere. I didn't know. Oh, fly. Alright. We need to put a wrap on this show all right well yeah check out all of our sponsors check out our wonderful guest and all the wonderful things he does and uh check out wings redemption he he needs you he needs someone oh god one last shout out shout

out wings if you listen to this man you gotta you gotta uh you gotta support it here man i fuck with you wings man i hope you i hope you get through it man don't listen to this, man. You got a supporter here, man. I fuck with your wings. Man, I hope you get through it, man. Don't listen to the walking internet, man. You got to rise up like a buoy on the ocean. Jesus Christ. P.K.

Hey, episode 370.