Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #372

Episode Date: February 9, 2018

This week on PKA, Taylor had been rendered immobile and not able to come on the show so we had our friend Filthy Robot fill in for his absence and the guest this week was everyone's favorite food reviewer and ex repo man... DaymDrops! And the guys make fun of some bird trying to bring... her bird on an airplane as her emotional support peacock and then the guys really dive deep into the manners one should have when partaking in air travel.

painkiller already episode 372 with two guests filthy robot and damn drops kyle yeah a couple sponsors tonight squarespace and smart mouth uh links down in the description if you just can't wait but yeah we'll be talking about those later on in the show but yeah i guess we could talk about the uh the muscle-bound elephant that's not in the room exactly kyle you why don't you lay it out to start with? Well, Taylor thinks that he's a pro. He's got some kind of professional level Tinder game, but it turns out that he wasn't following the complete dentist system

and he miscalculated a little bit. Missed some clues. He missed some context clues, yes. See, when a woman won't meet with you in a public place, go away, Wire, and she always just wants to come to your place, and she doesn't really want to talk about where she lives and stuff like that, these are clues that she might potentially be married.

He had no idea that she had a husband. And apparently, Taylor got a little roughed up this afternoon and is dealing with... He went to the hospital, but I think that's... He's going to be okay. It's not like... He'll make next show. I'm pretty sure the reason he went to the hospital

was to get the legal stuff rolling. I was going to say, that's setting the groundwork for a lawsuit. Yeah, I think so. Because he's a little roughed up um he doesn't look quite like himself but apparently the the gentleman in question was a rather large fellow he's been bulking up for more than eight months from from what taylor said so yeah taylor taylor made a bit of a miscalculation. The woman has a type she likes. She likes them big and muscular and apparently

when she picked her husband, she picked one who was really big and muscular because he roughed Taylor up just to... I've gone through all the emotions. At first, I was scared for him. We've rolled around to funny at this point. It's hilarious that taylor

uh pulled enough tail that he eventually found some taken tail and uh you know i'm kind of hoping that this is all some sort of game that the husband and wife are playing on taylor that like the part of it is they do this routinely yeah she gets off on him like on her husband beating the shit out of some guy who's making the moves on her. I bet you that could be a thing. I want to hear more about this. You're going to have to keep me updated as this unfolds. That's what – it's funny you mention that because, like, in The Office, if you've ever seen The Office, Phyllis, like the matronly older lady, like she jokes around at one point that that's a game that she and her husband play

where she goes and flirts with a guy until he gets fresh with her, and then Bob beats him up. So maybe that's – It's weird twist on cuckolding where she wants the husband to come in and win her back, like some sort of primordial caveman sort of thing. It's interesting. I'm sure you could do a whole study on on the ass whooping that taylor took i think we could i mean forget the ass whooping i think taylor is a wonderful case study just in general i think psychology as a whole would have a lot of fun with that but so taylor he's is he out of the hospital already what's have you gotten an update he went

in he was just in there for a couple of hours to like get evaluated or something like that and they took a bunch of photographs. From what I understand, it was all for the police report. All right. Glad to hear he's okay. I'd love to see him pop up later in the show. Just be all fucked up. Well, stay tuned.

Anything's a possibility. Right now, people are skipping forward one hour, two hours. Shit, where is he? Patrons are looking. there's no description yet i can't tell yeah but uh our our good friends uh damon and filthy stepped up big for us tonight they they filled in at a moment's notice because this was this all kind of took us by surprise today uh so so thanks to both you guys for coming on uh coming on tonight no definitely you know what it is my pleasure man so what do we want to lead off with we we could talk to either i'm talking to you woody i suppose but we could we could we could see what either of our guests are doing that's that's that's fairly traditional i i have the that

topic that i was talking about yeah i really want to talk about the photoshop porn stars that's i don't know you captured my full interest on this. Alright, so there... Just could I poke for an introduction? Because I don't know... Oh, Kyle. So, Damon... I'm not familiar to the run.

Your mic is awful. Your mic is so bad. I can always go back to the other mic. I can go back to... Get off of that mic damn mike is not our friend sounds like you're scratching a record over there so so uh his his youtube channel i think is damn drops and uh he does like food reviews and uh he's been doing it for years and years and years. You may have seen his...

It went super viral years ago. The Five Guys. It got songified by the... What are those guys' names? Oh my goodness. You know, we worked out your mic before the show. Did you keep fucking with the damn... This is not what your mic sounded like

pre-show. I don't know what happened with i'm saying man i don't i don't know what happened with the mic game i i don't know either but this is crazy getting the blood out of my ears at this point you didn't hear it yo mic check one two one two we better our gain is too high deep are you familiar with our gain is too high? Yeah, turn down your volume a little bit. All right. Is this thing on? Yeah, yeah.

I think maybe he's working. I think he's thinking. Yeah. I'm good. Oh, that's actually, I think that's better. You will need a longer mic test, but it seems better than before. We'll take it as it comes. So yeah, he does really interesting food reviews.

And as an amateur fat ass myself, that's what I consider myself. An aspiring fat ass. I can't get there for some reason. I ate two dinners tonight. I've got cake in the fridge. Kyle, you keep this up for 10 years, my faith is in you. I'm drinking my Fanta.

I don't know what's going on. Oh, I love it. I had a grape already, and now I'm on to the orange. But, yeah, I love those food reviews. And, like, Five Guys is my favorite restaurant of all time, I think, if I'm not going in and getting some sort of fancy steak. So, yeah, that's what he does. Kyle, can I divert from the topic?

Is that the bed you sleep in? That is the bed I sleep in, yes. I always choose, for like up until this house, my whole life, I chose headboards based on whether or not you could tie up a woman's arms to them. That's because you're an amateur bondage. I was going to call you amateur, but Kyle, school me. First of all, I have several contraptions, one of which it sort of goes under the corners of the mattress,

under the mattress. And there are, you know, Velcro tying straps, and there's locks and cuffs that do different things. And also, I like to use bondage tape, which isn't sticky. It's stretchy and bonds to itself. Oh, they have bandages. Yeah, I think they use that at the hospital sometimes. Maybe something a bit similar.

I don't know. That wrap is real popular. But it's very good. You know, you can saran wrap a bitch and uh it's uh but but no i've got a whole that that that closet that's behind it is just nothing but bondage gear well and you really came through with this response i appreciate it kyle because i i looked at that unable to tie to headboard and thought this guy's game what the fuck i thought you were the man you know but i was right i was just wrong yeah um yeah i that's uh i think i got that headboard off of amazon i i like it the whole thing was like a couple hundred dollars and i stuck my casper mattress on i just

got some new sheets today a thousand thread count i love them but the topic at hand is that there is this subreddit where they Photoshop. I don't even know if Photoshop is the right. When I say Photoshop, I don't mean the program necessarily. I mean the concept. They motion track faces onto it. They're using artificial intelligence to put celebrities' faces onto porn stars. And sometimes they're images, sometimes they're

moving images, also known as GIFs or GIFs. And they're, of course, videos with audio. So you've got Maisie Williams on there, Sophie Turner, the chicks from Game of Thrones. I just watched them take a lot of dick. I'm looking at Emma Watson here.

Wait, Emma Watson's in it? Lots of Emma Watson. If only you had that link. What a tragedy that would be. So that, I'm glad you mentioned that. I wanted to link you. However, because this thing has gotten so much attention very recently, there was a BBC article. Philip DeFranco covered it.

Apparently, they're being attacked. They're having a lot of their images taken down off of Imgur, off of all of the different hosting apparati that they utilize as I click each one. Page not found, looks like this page doesn't exist. And you might think... You're killing me, Emma Watson's gone? No.

I'm searching for it. I just checked right now, that's loading. She's very popular. So there's probably a plethora of her on there. I'm looking for a secondary link for you. Ariana Grande. Oh, not there. And you might think, oh, I bet this is Maisie Williams, Sophie Turner.

This is Olivia Wilde, Olivia Munn. They're going out there and saying, oh, take this disgusting stuff down. No. It's the porn stars who are not getting their due. And they are the ones upset having this this taken down because if you think about it they're the ones taking all that dick and not getting credit for it it's like i did not star in anal masters 13 and and have to permanently sit on a donut cushion for you to just stick maizey's face on on my body this is this is horseshit and by the way anal

masters 13 is no first time film. You have to take miles of dick before you get to Anal Masters 1. There's anal amateurs, anal semi-pros, it takes a while to be in Anal Masters 13. You broke up for us, but I'm sure it's fine

in the recording. I think so, because I'm local. Yes, exactly. I missed out on your Anal Masters joke, but I'm sure it was hilarious. There are levels to this game. Some of the rappers would say, it's level to this game. So, I mean, it makes total sense, right? On the one hand, it makes absolute sense. Of course the people who have put the work in are going to be upset if they are not being credited and paid in for their work that's being done but damn i feel like i mean

we're talking a little bit about this pre-show but it feels like that was like kind of something that you encounter as a kid browsing porn for the first couple times you're like holy shit there's celebrity porn out there and it takes you some much longer period of time to realize that these are these are not actual celebrities doing it and it feels like we're kind of denying the youth of tomorrow one of the great joys of growing up. And I don't know. It feels like we're telling the young teenagers right now there's no Santa by doing this.

Oh, don't worry. They're re-hosting somewhere else. Oh, thank God. There is a team of degenerates out there somewhere click-clacking on their keyboards like something out of The Matrix with screens all over the wall with celebrities and blown out assholes and they are making sure that future generations will get to see this they should be collaborating can you get images off the way i know one case

one case where they got something off of the internet and uh it was it was this really pretty girl you might know this it sounds like you lit up or it looked like you lit up uh she was a really pretty girl she's i'm gonna call her 20 but i'm not sure but that's about what she was uh she was the daughter of a really wealthy family like i think her father was an attorney but not just like a regular attorney attorney who would be worth like eight digits or something anyway there was a video of her fucking some guy on the floor of like a public bathroom and worse yet it looked like there was urine on this floor so it was like missionary position she's like laying on the filthiest bathroom floor ever fucking some guy you know and i don't want to

i don't want to slut shame her right but there was some implication that maybe you know oh you're telling me came off a little slutty i'm sure that she is nothing but a demure young woman right right she's fucking on a urine soaked bathroom floor with a cameraman present so uh the the picture got i saw it i saw her and it was on reddit and. And then her father got into action. And like I said, not only is he wealthy, but he was also an attorney. And he just worked hard and got it removed from the internet. I didn't even know that was a thing. Like getting the pee out of the ocean.

Like you can't. It's just everywhere. I'm looking for it right now, by the way. I was going to say, I don't think you really can. I think you can get it wiped off the major hosting sites. But I don't know that you can get rid of something like that once it's up there. You know, we need – I remember when PKA – we used to be live. Someone was saying that you can't find midget porn.

Now, of course, we've all heard midget porn, right? You can easily find midget porn. I'm not searching for it. Midget on midget porn where there are no average-sized people involved is very rare. Even the cameraman's tiny. We thought it was impossible to find. Then, bam, out of the blue, T-Martin finds it. It turns out, though, that our other host, Taylor Mercaderca, fed it to T-MartMart and T-Mart fed it to us so he the T-Mart got all the glory for it

but it was actually Taylor who was the brains behind the midget on midget porn finding I wonder he just had a lot on his hard drive that's what you're talking about so uh yeah maybe Taylor if Taylor was here we could find this thing but as far as I know it's it's literally been removed from the internet and I saw it brought up like a year or two ago. Someone else mentioned it as the only example of something they've seen that's been successfully removed from the internet. Usually you try to remove something and it's dry Xanax and it just gets more popular. I'm searching hard.

I'm being searching lawyer's daughter sex on bathroom floor and of course I got a lot of incest porn. What? By the way, I want to show the people an example of the quality of porn that we're talking about. It is incredible. This particular clip isn't porn. It's a Superman clip.

But it shows you how good it is. Yeah, yeah. For those of you not watching the video, they have put Nicolas Cage's face onto I can't think of the actress's name, but Superman's girlfriend.

And I know it's Lois Lane, but I'm telling you the actress. Amy Adams. Yes, the beautiful Amy Adams. Are we keying this up together? I've just been playing it on a loop. There's no audio on it for some reason oh i see now that would have been masterful if they had somehow used nick cage's voice to say her lines and it didn't sound like uh you know how they like take trump and have him sing a christmas song but you know of course the inflection's all wrong that that's what would be i feel like okay so the complaints are the

complaints are from the porn stars which makes total sense the actress is doing this right are the complaints aren't from the other side this isn't something that like actors actors can have taken down it's not because their image is being used or something like that right they probably could have it taken down they might be clever enough not to try. You know, like if I'm Amy Adams, is that who it is? And I say, man, everyone's looking at this fake porn of me, that's not really me taking it up the butt. I know it looks just like me and that's my face on it.

I'm gonna be like, really? Let's see this. Anyone who knows the internet knows that doesn't work. That does the opposite of what you're hoping for. But guess where I'm kind of going with this. It feels like there's a collaboration waiting to happen here. It feels like the talented individuals producing this should really be reaching out to the porn actresses or whoever owns that video and being like,

look, this is going to drive links back to you. We're happy to link to your site after. You want to see this hot body, the actual face on this hot body come back to the the site then they could have their stuff up there not get it taken down the porn actresses win for having more people directing it's a win-win-win it feels like this just needs a couple people reaching out to talk there could be some top-notch porn stars just waiting to be discovered and whose key to celebrity might be putting emma watson's face on it.

Yeah, like start off that way and it's like, holy crap, who's that gorgeous girl with Emma Watson's face, you know, or Amy Adams' face on it or whoever it happens to be. I feel like poor Dan didn't know what he signed up for on this podcast. Oh, he knows what's coming. I'm enjoying the conversation.

It's quite common. That's good. It's a bit of a strange introduction, I suppose. Definitely different. Yeah. I see that there's, if you're on our deepfakes, there's a tool here you can download

to do this yourself. I don't know if it's as good as all the stuff we're seeing. I saw an app the other day called Fatify. Yeah, I other day called Fatify. Yeah, I think it was Fatify. And I fatified you, Woody. I'm trying to share it right now, but I'm failing at it real hard. Damn it.

Yeah, I've been working hard to unfatify. I'm actually sore right now a little bit. So I bought this weightlifting rack and weights and stuff for my house and made a little home gym. And the workout seems so light. You know, some deadlifts, some bench press, some pull-ups, et cetera. And it doesn't take very long. But then the day later, I'm still sore.

So I guess it's hard enough. All right. Does Kyle have – ooh, Fat Woody with a beard. You look – well, that's the move to pull when you get heavy, I think. I noticed that Boogie has curtailed his beard down. He's definitely cut it down a good bit. Boogie's looking good, by the way. We had Boogie on last week.

Boogie's down like 175 pounds or something like that. Like he's out there looking for new pussy. Boogie has killed it. I'm so happy for Boogie. But yeah, I'm going to be honest, Woody. You'd look okay with a couple extra hundred pounds on you. I feel like, not that anyone makes them anymore, but there used to be a lot of Woody hate videos

and they'd all find one or two terrible images of me. This could be the next go-to video. If you want to make some video about how I'm a pedophile using my family to get ahead or whatever it is you want to go for, this is the picture you want to use. This enormous-faced Woody. Yeah. Just saying. I like it. It's my new background image

uh if only if i could somehow rate taylor's twitter profile pic oh my god have you seen his most recent so so it's like walmart kyle yeah it's it it's it's inbred kyle like i guess if i post on the subreddit some guy who looks the tiniest bit like me, except he's incredibly ugly. And so Taylor jumps right on board and makes that. His Twitter profile pictures are always about mocking me, which I'm a good sport about. Yeah, Kyle's hair is long.

So if he like brushes it down in a weird way, it's not his best look. And he did it for like two seconds in a hangout one time. And it became Taylor's Twitter profile picture. Yeah, when I brush my hair straight down, it comes down to my nose. I keep putting my haircuts off. So it's crazy long. I had that style in high school For the first half of it anyway

Freshman, sophomore Woody had long hair But you wouldn't know it so much And now you go to the same barber as Dan Yes Woody's ever didn't quite come together yet Woody went to a barber shop not too long ago He literally went to like A black barber shop I too long ago and he literally went to like a black barber shop

I thought they were the most talented so I had this I had two notions about black barbers one black people based on what I learned from reddit have very high standards for their haircut right they're all looking at their fade and it's gotta be perfect

right so I was like alright all right, black barbers. This is like an elite class of barber. And two, and don't tell me what I see in the movies is wrong. That is where the rabble-rousing, hilarious conversations. I'm looking for some UNC versus Duke banter going back and forth. So I go in this black barber, me and my son, and we're going gonna get our haircut together first of all the place goes silent right they look at me like i don't belong completely me and my red

haired kid and uh there's no fun banter or anything just a bit of like oh there's an outsider here uh they asked me to cut my hair i tell them the same thing i tell my barber like yeah you know buzz the back and sides with the two short and the top faded in it takes fucking forever to cut my hair I tell them the same thing I tell my barber like yeah you know buzz the back and sides with the two short and the top faded in it takes fucking forever to cut my hair right like but one of the ways I measure my barber is how quickly he can cut it it almost seems like on the black barber the opposite is true if it doesn't take an hour you haven't gotten your money's worth and uh but the worst of it is he totally like I guess it's called squaring me up right so he just shaved my my natural hairline into something that was very square and flat and it looked silly to me and uh i was very unhappy

but i didn't make make a big deal out of it no of course not you don't get cut and then he ruined my son's hair. And then we called it good. See, this is the best part about this. I imagine you came in and you were like, hey, we're both going to get our hair cut. I'm going to go first. They fuck you up beyond all recognition and turn you into an albino black man.

And then you're like, all right, son. And she's like, son, is nobody better? Colin's like, I look pretty. Dad, all right, you can just say, don't fuck daddy. did you go to the black barber in the hood or or you're in the suburbs still i was i i guess shit on the maybe it was in the suburbs maybe it wasn't is that is that my mistake i gotta go down or town you you gotta go in the suburbs. Maybe it wasn't. Is that my mistake? I got to go down or town? You got to go in the hood next time, bro. If you want the conversation.

Are you telling me this will be a better experience? Yeah, exactly. If you're looking for conversation, you got to go to the hood black barber shop. It ain't happening in the suburbs. You won't be worried about how your haircut looks at the end of that. It's going to be a special experience. Least of your concerns after a day in the suburbs. You won't be worried about how your haircut looks at the end of that. It's going to be a special experience. Least of your concerns after a day in the football.

It's going to be like that scene from Training Day when like, you know, Washington leaves him alone with those Mexicans and at first it's real cool and he's like getting down with them and he's like, you know, yeah, yeah, you can hold my gun blah, blah, blah, and then all of a sudden he gets a little too real

and then he ends up in a bathtub ends up in a bathtub with a 12 gauge put against his head. How did he get too real? What did he do or say? Do you remember? It was a setup. They were going to kill him the whole fucking time. Did Denzel know that? Shit Pustin! I get

my shit Pustin big time! Did Denzel know that he would... Did he intend for him to be killed? Yeah. So then he, like, gets his way out of that situation and he's on the bus, all beaten and bloody,

riding the fucking bus to Denzel's, like, side chick's house, hating his eyes. That's a badass movie. I love it. It's been too long since I've seen it. Oh, it's so good. You know what else is good with Denzel? I chick's house with hate in his eyes. That's a badass movie. I love it. It's been too long since I've seen it. Oh, it's so good. You know what else is good with Denzel? I was talking to someone they didn't... Man on Fire. Yeah, I knew you were going to say it. That is his best film

ever. Yeah. I liked him in Trinidad too. I think Trinidad's my favorite. I'm not giving a lot of thought right here. He won an Oscar for that, I believe. But Man on Fire is hardcore. He shoves those explosives up that guy's asshole, and the guy's all tied up, and he explains it to him.

He's like, I don't remember exactly, but he's like, this is a C4 plastic explosive. This thing's going out now. And he's like got the detonator. It's on like a timer or something. It's been a while. Man on Fire, he's a bodyguard to a young girl, right? And then they manage to get the girl away.

And this isn't a spoiler. It happens at the very start of the movie. And then the whole movie is about his pursuit to get the girl back. And it's pretty good. And he fucking goes hard. Yeah, he's very good at his job, in spite of the fact that they did get the girl from him. And he's you know he's on a mission i watched that shit for the first time and this is one of those things

where you see something in a movie and it doesn't quite work out the same way in real life there's a scene at the beginning where he's an asshole or something else so um it there's a scene in the beginning where he's he's real depressed like he's i don't remember exactly what the source of his depression was but he's listening to uh blue bayou uh over and over i'm going back someday won't you stay on blue bayou he's listening that song over and over drinking jack daniels and he's doing this shit with his pistol where he ejects around and then he he catches it like a fucking ninja and he drinks until he can't catch it anymore basically like that's how hard he's drinking at night and i was oh, that looks fucking cool. I want some Jack Daniels.

And I went out and the next day bought myself a big bottle of Jack Daniels and I'm like, yeah, I'm going to be like Denzel. Oh, why do people do this? I can't handle Jack Daniels. That is not the beverage for me. I'm not quite on Woody's level. Woody won't drink.

I mean, I've drank our gingerbread martinis together with Woody. I'm no stranger to sweet drinks, but I can drink something with a little bit of bite to it as well, but not Jack Daniels. That's way too manly for me. It's been too long since I've had any of them. To me, Jack Daniels and Crown Royal and all of those brown syrupy whatevers are the same.

But I'm probably wrong. I mean, look at it. It was really 15-year-old Woody sampling all these things. So that was a lifetime ago. Yeah, I like Crown. Crown's pretty tasty to me. It's sweet. Crown's one of my favorites.

Peppermint schnapps was something I always thought was easy to drink. It's what you give to little kids when you want to. When you want to do what, Kyle? And how young are they? Well, yeah, really.

I'm as young as possible, so you don't waste your schnapps on them, right? Yeah, that's strong thinking. I think Michael Jackson called that Jesus juice. Uh, that's what he was calling the wine that he's giving those young children.

I actually, uh, I've changed my mind about, uh, Jack, Michael Jackson called that Jesus juice. That's what he was calling the wine that he was giving those young children. I actually have changed my mind about Michael Jackson, though. I honestly don't believe that he was fucking those kids. Is it Corey Feldman that changed your mind? Yeah, it was absolutely Corey. First of all, in his day, Corey Feldman was some fine piece of ass. That's some tight boy ass, right? Stop. Get in there early

he looks like he just had a five guys he's like oh yeah oh yeah you guys are right and Corey was like hey the only guy that didn't try to get after my supple boy ass was Michael Jackson

right he let me play with his monkey his chimp he uh he let me play in that big fucking carnival ride he had in his backyard he he he played music for me he he danced he went and then he sent me home it was cool no issues out of michael and and that made me feel a lot better about michael jackson and finally i was able to feel sorry for him because that's a guy who had the talent beaten into him by his father. But also had his childhood beaten out of him at the same time. And come on, Thriller, man. It's Thriller.

That music's great. Where do I even start touching it? I'm not going to. I'm happy for the next topic, Kyle. Wow, filthy. Backing off a topic. You can't defend Michael Jackson with me? I just don't even want to touch that one, man.

That's what the point is. You got to stay with Sonny Vine, brother. You don't see Dan backing out. I saw Dan look like he was about to throw up in his hands at one point. Once y'all started talking about little kids, I was like, you boys we can talk about i heard that before they wanted it you don't go to michael jackson's house if you're not looking for that i knocked on the door he told me i was too old dick like everybody acts like children aren't looking for it but i remember being in the fifth grade you know 11 years old thinking man i wish miss Miss Harrison would molest the fuck out of me.

I want to get all in them big titties she's got. Her husband came to school one day, and I was sitting over there all mean mugging him, all jealous. Bitch, she spends all day with me. Dude, there was a hot girl in my high school a teacher this is right so she but she was like fresh out of college she taught math she was like 23 and you know like every guy wished right and then she started dating a hot guy he was uh he had played basketball at Penn's I should I'm maybe doxing him at this point but he had played d1 basketball and uh um it was like yeah I guess I can see why she picked him over me you know this I hadn't even

hit puberty I have uh before we get step completely away from the porn thing I have another link that I'm pre-screening to make sure this is all, you know, shareable. But it's just a quick little, like, gif of a thing where they have, if you scroll down, where they put, I think that's, what's that girl's name? Is that the girl from Star Wars? Yeah, that's Daisy Ridley. Yeah, so it's just a quick, like, clip of Daisy Ridley on a porn star's body. And I imagine right after this portion there was some fucking that went on. So yeah, it's top tier celebrity porn fakery.

I'm a big fan. Yeah. Now, Daisy Ridley's head in this looks a little large to me for the body. Genetics. Otherwise, like you said, as a matter of fact, if I didn't know it was fake i probably wouldn't have caught that exactly right i i think she's a terrible actress and kind of weird looking did you did you see that picture of her and her sister together oh my god now there's two of them yeah i saw it oh i'm the only one that wanted to get some sort of weird incestuous threesome going on i'm sure you were the only one you're at least you're at least the very least first i want to be dressed as darth vader though

and i want to utilize one of those toy uh lightsabers at one point that's gotta be done there's no way that was a lightsaber well i'm fresh out of ideas kyle just like that scene from a requiem of a dream ass Ass to ass! Ass to ass! And they're going to get the big lightsaber going in their vaginas. No, Chiz. You've seen Requiem of a Dream, haven't you, Chiz?

Yeah. It's dark. I watched it once. It made me feel... It's one of those movies that took a little bit of my humanity away and made me more the person I am today. I love that. those movies that took a little bit of my like humanity away and maybe more the person i am today if you've never seen requiem of a dream i hope i'm getting the title exactly right it could be a record before record for a drink that is some dark next time arian foster's on the show you can explain to him i've seen Requiem for a Dream twice. This is what happened.

Now I'm a walking embodiment of the internet. It's rough. It's some rough stuff. But it's an excellent movie. It's really well done. Once you've put calluses on your soul, you can go back and jerk off to that scene where they get out the big industrial

thing of lube. Get it out and rub the double dildo down and all those weird men are throwing money at them on the stage. You can go back to that. I haven't seen this movie. Are we avoiding spoilers on this?

I feel like that scene needs a little bit more description to really be understood so it's a movie about are we avoiding spoilers or no well i want to see it oh you do okay i didn't get my headset off why don't you tell me to no no no no it's okay it's a really good movie you should definitely watch it yeah she doesn't i mean i'm sold so far yeah damn and i are both like how do we get this I mean, I'm sold so far. Dan and I are both like, how do we get this? Just download this right off the internet.

You'll just get it. I did a prank phone call one time, and we called this Asian porn salesman. We called it a porn store. As soon as I heard that he was Asian, for some reason, my mind went to this place where maybe this is some back alley San Francisco Chinatown porn store where you could like get something kind of weird that might not be exactly street legal. And I asked him for like the weirdest thing I could think of.

I was like, I want panda porn. He's like, panda porn? I'm like, yeah, yeah. I want a panda fucking a girl. Oh, we don't have panda porn, which was not the exact reaction I was expecting. I expected like, what? No, no. He was like, no, we don't have it in.

It was like you called takeout and asked for sweet potato fries, right? Like they weren't shocked that you'd asked for it. They just don't have them right today, you know? And I was like, could you get it for me? Because I'll pay. And he's like, oh, maybe if you go to a trade show, you know, maybe they have the panda porn. And it was beyond me that this guy was down.

I feel like if I pressed a little harder, I could have gotten some panda porn. Like he would have went in his stash box in the back and gave you his copy. Or like if I could animate this thing, like he's sitting would have went in his stash box in the back and gave you his copy like he's sitting there with like one of those like stereotypical like like asian rice field hats and he's got like that that super uh silly mustache that's just like two long strands of hair coming from each side and right behind him there's like a panda in a cage eating bamboo and a bunch of chicks milling around in bikinis like like he's probably shooting the shit right there he's like as soon as i hung up he's like

okay shut it down they know like that i'm i'm all over the the the map on this one because on one hand pandas are wild animals right they seem like cuddly teddy bears, and what we're used to them is sort of a caricature of them, right? Domesticated pandas. On the other hand, these things have no sex drive, right? Maybe they aren't that wild animals. Maybe they are cute, cuddly, and that's why they're failing. Come on. It's hard to get motivated to fuck a panda.

But if you bring a hot chick in there. I see where you're going with this yeah yeah if i was in a panda terrarium or whatever they're in um i probably wouldn't have sex with any of those overweight black and white hairy bears but if uh uh if there were women in there then i would i would have sex with them i with them. I think you could get a panda to fuck a girl. Oh, you gotta try. Dan, what's new with you?

Man, next month, releasing my first book, Eating Across America. The book follows my last eight years of this grind, and working like I said, with Rachel Ray and traveling, filming for TV, and all the different establishments that I went to and the people that I met along the way. Wow.

That's pretty cool. Yeah, kind of excited about it. I sometimes daydream, I think like everybody, about having a book. How did you get started? Did you contact a publisher? Did a publisher talk to you? Are you doing a publisher? They contacted me, actually. They were looking to get into the space of working with content creators and getting books out there for them. It's Mango Publishing. So I was like, well, you know, let me see what you guys are talking about

first. And then we'll see if it's a good fit for the both of us. And we'll start this book. And lo and behold, the conversation went well. And I started writing last February. Had that thing done like early June. That was just every day. A four-month process. Yeah. And so this is your first book. Was there an editor that kind of like taught you how to write a book?

Did you do an outline with like a collaborative effort every literally every chapter that i wrote i submitted it in they had a full editor go over everything send back her notes as the what needed to be changed if i wanted to change it and so i would like just rewrite certain things that wouldn't make the book flow a little bit better because i really want you to visualize the food while you're reading. I want to treat it like my YouTube videos where it makes you hungry. So if you're going to read the book about food, I want you to go out and get something by the time you finish that particular chapter. So is it about the food or is it about you?

More so about the food, about the food that I've encountered, different dishes, things that I tried for the first time things i never reviewed so i wrote about it all nice nice and and who came up with like the outline like how does that go me you know that was all me uh-huh that was just me i mean i've been writing now for years to begin with since my early 20s okay so when the publisher company came to me everything that I've done previous of writing eating across America was all poetry I was into spoken word heavy I did a lot of performances late nights over the years and so when they were like well you know is this something that you

want to do was pretty much write about your life write about your travels different restaurants you've been so I was like I can make it happen and i just hunkered down worked with that team and made the magic happen wow that's pretty great but the editors uh i gotta imagine like the editors who i don't know if they've done this before but they're reaching out to people the amount of times that people have got to be like actually on the ball about that's got to be so few and far between did they give you feedback about like damn like that's fucking moving quick or is it just kind of taking as you're taking as you're putting it out it was more so they were surprised i was able to get it out as fast as i could happen because of my schedule but literally even when i would have to go film on the rachel ray show and when i was out there in the hotel i would be writing i would

always bring my laptop with me so i was forever writing just to get it done you know but yeah they're always shocked about that. Yeah, that's pretty cool. So when is it coming out? March 13th. All right. March 13th. Where do we get it?

I've been pushing the link for Amazon. Amazon has been pushing it, so that's pretty good. What's the title again? What's the title of the book again? Eating Across America. Matter of fact, let's see if I've got to pop that up for you guys real quick. Filthy, you ever daydream

about making a book? I don't know what I'd write a book about, quite honestly. That was my next question. What would you write a book about? It could be anything with Filthy. Every man's expert, perhaps call it i'm trying to avoid that joke all show i'm doing my best they give me shit damn they bring me on uh they bring me on from time to time and anytime a topic comes up that i have an opinion on there they give me shit about being an expert on it because i you know i don't quite know what the deal is myself but uh apparently that's more of this so i don't know man uh i

mean i guess woody to some degree everyone's thought about it some degree but i don't really think that anything i do really fits in that category you're not gonna make a book about a game i don't think like that so yeah i i mean oh my god i don't i'm not even joking you are an expert on some interesting things, right? Maybe like more of a paper. Didn't you do your master's degree in like S&M and bondage and stuff? I did my master's degree in human sexuality. So, yep.

But no, my wife will almost certainly be a part of making book chapters to begin with. And then later on, actual books if she gets interested in doing that route. And that would have been something I would have been doing if i continue in academia but it's not something i have any plans for right now if i were pharaxis i would conscript you to write the uh the you know the the big uh guide for the next civilization game because like who better like like you you're excellent at that like it's it's an interesting idea i've never even thought about that as a format i feel like i don't know i feel like some things are better suited to text than some aren't.

I think I have a hard time believing that the best way to do a game guide is through text like that. Yeah. I'm actually kind of surprised. I wanted to ask Dan a little bit more about that. Do you have pictures in it? Like the food that you're doing?

Okay, so that makes a lot of sense to me. I think for a lot of individuals, because not everybody loves reading to begin with. You know, that's why audio books are all over the place. People, if they're traveling, they'd rather just kind of hear it through the speakers. Reading is just not really their thing. But I was figuring if you have at least, you know, the words that can kind of allow you to visualize what's going on, but then a picture that's just right there, nice and colorful, bright, in HD, reaching out at you.

I think that would make you more inclined to actually go through the book and read more. I'd like to hear your audiobook version. I'd like to hear your day on the self-help. Yeah, well, I hope they fix your mic. We'll blow, Woody. That would be the best studio. mic i've been wanting to make it i've been wanting to go into the you ever been in a like a sound studio to do anything woody like a like a real one no i think so i i uh i did a kickstarter one

time to make that that app that FDS Russia game. And I had to – part of the Kickstarter thing was people wanted voicemails from me. And so I had a list of like 40 voicemails I had to do. And so we went into a professional studio. And I always – like it was really fun to do because like I'm reading absurd things in the Russian accent. And there's a sound engineer then in the booth and he had no idea what was coming so i'm one of them was a ransom letter it's like like you know you call the guy he doesn't answer the phone and it's it's like you

know i have your friend unless you pay the money we're gonna cut another finger off stuff like that he's just like what am i working on here what is this? But I've been wanting to go in the sound studio again and do a music video. I don't want to spoil it because I may do it, I might not. But it just wants me – I've been kicking around for like the last couple weeks. I really want to do a Wings of Redemption-themed music video, a song parody where i'm where i'm singing and and i could get my buddy eric um iraq veteran 888 he just started a new channel called um guitarsonal right it's a mashup of the words guitar and arsenal um and uh he's been playing the guitar for 20 fucking years and he's excellent at he's amazing at it and so. And so I just have all these images in my head.

Of him playing the guitar. And me singing. A Wings of Redemption themed parody song. I really really want to make it. Oh god. What did you type here? Wings apparently has a comment on it. Can I read it?

A comment on what? I guess Kyle's mentioned this. Oh, no. All right. Oh, okay. He didn't actually say this. Let me tell you. I'll ask you, the listener.

Does this sound like something Wings would say? Kyle won't do that shit. Kyle just stays at home all day. Fuck him. Make that video and pay me $5,000 for using my likeness. Wings. Probably. I sounded like it.

I was like, oh, shit. Yeah. Is he listening right now? Is he responding live? I thought he brought it up before. Yeah. Future response. Wings, please say that word for word.

Kyle won't do that shit kyle stays at home all that all day fuck him make that video pay me five thousand dollars for using my likeness make that quote true wings any particular reason that you guys have been stirred up about wings again don't say you guys that's not fair i i kind of i try to really just buy into the idea that you guys are you know the three of you or our community, you, Taylor, and Kyle there, Woody, are all part of this production, right? And probably Chiz. You know, just mostly just responding to some of the crazy things that he says. You know, he recently said that he'd come on the show if we paid him $10,000, I think.

Yeah, yeah, $10,000 he was demanding. Is that what he wanted? $10,000? $10,000. I want him on the show show but i don't want him ten grand on the show oh yeah what are you gonna pay dad cut it out the key to accumulating money is not to give it away to people holy shit i've been doing this for free i should be right He's like, hold on, I'm going to send my invoice on over. He's like, what are you, a page per pound? Jesus Christ. I lost my train of thought.

I don't know what to say. All right, so what do you want? It's just apparently Kyle. Kyle, what has got you so stirred up recently? Because I'm quite curious. Can I answer for Kyle? Yeah, let me jump in. There's been a lot of... Not you at all. that because i'm quite curious what i was gonna say can i answer for kyle i i guess yeah no let me jump in there's been a lot of you at all this is not you at all but yeah so listen i what will

happen is on a scale of 10 or 1 to 10 wings will do like a three something right and then kyle will blast back with like an eight or a nine and then wings will do another like two or three you know often a response and often like people in his live streams are just asking him you know about what happened what kyle said about pka non-stop and he resists for a while but he breaks down and then he says something you know oh kyle didn't really help me at the boot camp all he did was help me in this way in that way in some other way. And then Kyle goes nuts on him. And this has been going back and forth for a while. And it has me a little stuck. I don't know if I used this analogy before,

but I've seen it in sports, right? Like Filthy and I are playing hockey. I give Filthy a little bump. Filthy knocks me to the ice and leaves me feeling silly. That's because I'm an expert, Woody. Yes. Well, you're allowed to be bigger and stronger than me. That's not against the rules in sports.

You know, you shouldn't be penalized just because when I tried to check you, it didn't go my way, right? You know, that you're allowed to be bigger and stronger, which makes me wonder, like, where Kyle is on my, like, morality scale on this thing, right? I think what he's saying is that

I have a fully functional brain, and that can't be said for everyone involved in this conversation and and so what you both have fully functional brains but kyle's like kyle's not in a bad as bad as kyle's not a bad spot like wings is right that's what i'm saying kyle kyle's mom isn an off i don't know where his parents are uh when his parents he kyle wasn't raised by a grandmother with fetal alcohol syndrome right like in in a trailer in a room in the dark or whatever like like so he's in an easier place i think this is meaner than the shit i say this is real i just joke so you know

if wings does a little thing to kyle and then kyle comes back and hits him way harder it almost in my head is ever see like a girl hit some guy on a youtube video or something and then the guy comes back and lays her out, right? Was that guy wrong? Are we in an equal rights or equal lefts type thing? Or if the girl hits you, are you allowed to hit back? Where are we on the morality scale? It's very confusing to me.

I'm not sure what's what. To me, what it seems like is that he is fine with being pitiable and pitiful and he plays that up a lot and i'm the opposite of that like despite what it what adversity i might go through it's like i don't want you to feel sorry for me like we're on an equal playing field here don't don't like give me uh you know don't feel sorry for me don't uh you know we're on the we're on the same level playing field you don't have to give me anything. You're choosing to respond anyways. It's very easy, especially as a streamer.

You have mods. You can tell your mods to do whatever the hell you want in that channel. Anytime the word PK comes up, you want that banned? That's totally doable. You can ban the entire word just automatically, first of all. Second of all, you can have your mods squash any of that conversation that comes out of it. It seems a little bit weird to me. At some level, it seems like it must be mutual be mutual here that they wanted that you both are wanting to

play around with that because otherwise why wouldn't you just stop it it's really easy to stop yeah i i enjoy it you know i to me it's light-hearted banter um my feelings don't get hurt um people say all kinds of awful things about me i'm thick-skinned uh despite what some people might think you know they're always you know mocking me and giving me giving me shit in one way or another and and i i understand that it's coming from a fun place you know that i have a mean sense of humor so it's only fitting that when you joke about me it's a bit mean as well i like that that's the kind of humor that i enjoy and uh and so the you know people always take some low road with it like how are you going

to feel when he kills himself it's like well that scares me ah right now not that he's just not i guess i don't know i'm sorry i don't mean to interrupt too much but i don't really know the guy very well and i don't i don't want to add fuel to the fire that doesn't need to exist but you see really i always thought about most of that must be a persona it must have this be him playing up to to this because if the views are the or the coverage or you know something on that you know like some people feel like wings is playing a very clever long con right that um like i i don't want to bring up the people who's who but there is a there's a whole group of people who feel like wings is playing up the pitiable thing he's very much like understanding the meta game that he's playing i'm not that guy

i think wings is very real and that you know when he buys bullets and posts pictures of them on twitter and says these are the ones i'll use to kill myself i'm just waiting to run out of money i think that's actually where his mind is at the time he's not playing a game he's not running a long con i think that wings is just a bad day where he still has like motivation away from things going horribly wrong that yeah and that's what i i don't think he's conning anyone but it's people do So, Filthy, there's your answer. Who knows? Only Wings knows. But the bottom line with Wings is I don't hate Wings.

I don't really dislike him even. I like Wings. I like Wings content. Like, I still go on there and watch his YouTube videos of just Call of Duty and stuff. Not the ones when he's necessarily raging and going crazy. I enjoy them. He's doing fine over there financially and his channel's you know doing well so i think the pity party is part of the meta game that's how i see it so when i see him trashing controllers and

slinging headsets it's like these fucking things are expensive like these are 250 a piece and like a controller is 60 bucks each if he was really you know hard up like he'd find something else to throw right you get a stress ball or something or whatever that's how i look at it like really on top of the meta which is what you said right like like oh these are expensive he's making a calculation when he rages and breaks his headset that you know this is going to be to his financial gain i don't think so i think he's raging out of control i think that he's whatever video games take him out of his mind and he's been doing that for 30 years right he's probably 31 now yeah maybe he's 25 years then yeah you and i are the same age i bet he's been raging since he was six at video games and that's i don't think it's a meta. I don't think it's a long con.

I think he's had, you know, it's rough. Oh, and by the way, the finance thing, I need to see more numbers. Maybe someone will do the research. But what I see a lot is they take December, right? Now, December was a really good month from him. It's popular. There's like Christmas going on, anticipation,

Call of Duty's still new. And then they just multiply that by 12 and estimate his annual income. It's like, no, you can't take a guy's best month and multiply it by 12. We all know that's not how it works. Yeah, right. I wish every month was as good as December. He's been doing well, though. He's got like 20

grand saved up. You can't save... Poor people can't save 20 grand that fast. Yeah. Okay, I don't know. It sounds like you do. I didn't mean to be like, yeah! Yeah. I'm happy for him saving that money up. He's from Mexican bariatric surgery.

Oh, he's way past that. So I think that I saved Wing's life again by going so hard against his silly idea to get Mexican bariatric surgery. Because I think that my gentle urging convinced him that he was going to die in Mexico. Or be dumped on the side of the road halfway back to San Diego or something. Like septic and bleeding or something like that. Left in the back of a hot 18 Wheeler by a coyote or something like septic and and bleeding or something like that left in the back of a hot 18 wheeler by a coyote or something like that and and so he's saving up for american bariatric surgery which that's 45k am i on target with that no that's that's what taylor's teeth are gonna cost

i thought they were 15 i'm really i'm joking that's actually what taylor that's what um my buddy jeremy's like full mouth of teeth was going to cost, $40,000 or something like that for a full mouth of implants. But no, he's got $18,000 or $20,000 saved up, and I think I could be off by $5,000. But I think he needs like $7,000, $8,000 more to get the thing done. I think he found a place that will do it for $25,000. That's a pretty good overall scheme, though. If you're getting Twitch donations for a surgery, and then you hit that amount,

and then you change what surgery you're getting for, and you're moving towards a really big one again, and then who knows, maybe since last time he caught it. I could see that. That's clever. It's clever. I don't really want to live in that kind of world, but I can see it being a strategy. Yeah. Are there any surgeries that you need filthy that we should donate i just said i'm not doing that to my viewers i'm not interested in that type of relationship oh man but but yeah i wish wings the best it's just it's really just replying back to like the silly stuff he says and that you know this is kind of a comedy a mean spirited comedy show so the only way i'm ever going to respond to something like that is with mean-spirited jokes,

which can come off like I'm a monster or like I hate him. Has he ever got a nice shot back? If you're giving him these pokes and what he's saying, he's normally poking you back at a two or three. Have we ever got an eight or a nine from Wings? He tries. He says I'm lazy or that i stay in the house all day but how would he know he's he's lazy and he stays in his house all day like he doesn't

know what i'm up to in real life well you know i go places i go on dates i go to the movies there's no like best of back and forth between you guys like a highlight reel or anything that we could have like linked because i feel like that would be i don't i don't really want to get involved in this but i wouldn't mind like a 10 minute video of like the best shots of wings versus kyle or something that'd be pretty cool to watch i would love to see like that i yeah i think oh i want someone to do this maybe they because i asked for it but i want the back and forth to be documented because without that like that gives you the context and i think i think i might be looking at through a twisted lens you'll see what i'm talking about where wings is like you know

you know kyle he's lazy and then like kyle comes back and just goes to the paint well we i mean there's a video here we could watch what he said today you know he had more stuff to say today he said that um i was never going to do the hot sauce for real that the only reason i drove to his house and took the promotional photos and videos for the hot sauce was because i was guilted into it by fans and the reality of course of that was that i ordered gallons of hot sauce i were 208 bottles to fill that hot sauce with. I got the emails I could show you where I'm price hunting amongst seven different hot sauce companies, working on private labels,

worked on this thing for weeks and weeks, and of course, I was never going to make a dime off of it because there's such small margins. It was all to make him money and to provide the fans with a fun sort of thing. What was the thing that made you cancel the hot sauce? He said that we were pro-fucking people over, I believe. He said that Kyle and Woody are pro-fucking people over business type guys.

Yeah, and he immediately rescinded it. He's like, I don't really mean that. I guess I just mean something else, which was like, I taint like they're just capitalists or so. I forget what he said. And, uh, a lot of people are like,

well, you know, he rescinded it. Come on. We all make videos, right? You say it, you're like,

you record it, you render it, you upload it. Maybe, you know, do whatever proofreading is called in video form and, and then upload it, he is very much responsible for that slip of the tongue.

He was comparing us to what had happened with the CSGO Lotto stuff with Tmart and Syndicate, and he was sort of throwing us in on that and saying that we were pro-fucking people over, basically. That's why we were both kind of defending that sort of thing to some extent. You know, there's some parts of that which, if true, we both disagreed with. But, you know, that's a story for a day. What are you drinking, Dan?

That would be my Propel Grape Zero that I keep in my flask of happiness. Where can we get that flask? I don't know. One of my baby mamas got this for me. Oh, shit. Yeah, I thought that was your merch. I wanted a family merch. It needs to be.

You say one of your baby mamas gave it to you? Yeah, that was a joke. I only got but two. Okay. So when you do your... I'm totally new. I never never encountered your channel before now so it's my first time first time meeting you to hear about your stuff do you do uh the alcohol reviews as well so when you're going through these places trying the foods you try like the local

like craft beers or the local liquors or any of this stuff or just the food mostly the alcohol reviews i did do those for a while with a friend of mine maximum beverage but i left that stuff on facebook because you know youtube frowns upon such things I did do those for a while with a friend of mine named Max of Maximum Beverage. But I left that stuff on Facebook because, you know, YouTube frowns upon such things for the kids. Oh, really? Even if you want to go and say this is a review of this stuff, it's still frowning on it? I didn't realize. That's unfortunate.

Yeah. I just leave it at fast food. I've been watching an alcohol review channel. I'll try to find out who these guys are. But it's these two guys. I they're in austin texas and they just start pulling down bottles and bottles and they drink and they're smelling it and i know it tastes like shit because that's not the kinds of alcohol that i enjoy like but but i'm just like he's like yeah i'm smelling this is this is a little charcoal and i'm just like oh charcoal oh, charcoal. And mesquite. And I'm like, oh, mesquite.

It's like all these things that I don't want in my alcohol. But still, I'm fascinated while I watch them, you know, where they're sniffing this alcohol and sipping it. And I like those kinds of channels. It's not something that I know anything about. So it's kind of educational. That's how I feel about cigarettes, right? Like, oh, yeah, no, the bleach is just in there for flavor. Like, burning bleach for flavor like burning bleach is the flavor you know like yeah yeah we only have this or that and

like the ammonium in there that's just to give it that tang like really ammonia you know it's like you know they like the citrus to cut like some of the heavier foods the same with the cigarette i imagine right that heavy nic they like the citrus to cut like some of the heavier foods. It's the same with the cigarette, I imagine, right? That heavy nicotine flavor. You want to cut that with some ammonia. That makes sense to me. That's a strong, that's a strong light flavor. I don't know what's in cigarettes, but there are some delicious cigarettes, right?

And there's some delicious cigars and cigarillos. Like every time I would go to Vegas, I used to get like these little, it's like a cigar wrapper. So it's brown but they're about the size of a cigarette i think they're called cigarillos but i would get these really expensive ones that were like candy flavors like vanilla and chocolate and stuff like that i fucking love those things and i feel like someone who's never smoked like you woody even you would like hmm okay the smoke tastes like candy all right oh and i'm getting a little buzz here yeah you've just described a mixed drink yeah but it well you just had like a pear and apple

martini or something the cigarette equivalent of that yeah i guess i tried a cherry cigar of some sort at a bachelor party and i did not like it none of us liked it is that the same type of cherry we were talking about here uh it was it was honest to goodness cherry cigar i don't know like talking cherry flavored here what are you getting at filthy i don't know seriously like you it's not a thing i'm just imagining that at a bachelor party or a bachelorette party there's tends to be lots of, you know, genitalia-flavored, genitalia-looking. Was this like a cherry cigar or a cherry cigar is what I was going with. In other words, did you actually have like a cherry-flavored cigar or was this something I've not heard of?

Yeah, no, cherry-flavored cigars are a thing. There were strippers at this party, but we were outside in the parking lot because I guess that's where you smoke the cigars and someone broke them out and we were all i don't know like in the we were going to be in the wedding party and stuff we were close and uh we all agreed it was awful yeah terrible yeah cigars can either be good or god fucking awful like every cigar i've been given by someone who was like having a kid or something like that like i remember there was a turkish guy that i worked with named borat no barak borak or something like that it definitely ended with a k and i remember him bringing those fucking cigars out and they just smelled like wet leather and everybody's smoking them and

everybody's looking at each other like i hope he steps away soon so we can throw these fuckers. Everybody's getting like, we all smoke cigarettes, but we're all getting light-headed and dizzy from these things because it's nicotine overdrive. Maybe high in ammonia in those ones. Lots of ammonia in those Turkish cigars.

Yeah. Disgusting. Not a fan. I wouldn't be either. Let me tell the folks about Squarespace for you, Woody. Yeah. Disgusting. Not a fan. I wouldn't be either. Let me tell the folks about Squarespace for you, Woody. Please. This episode of Painkiller Ready is sponsored by our friends over at Squarespace. Whether you need a domain, website, or online store, make your next move

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Begin the next move in your career today with Squarespace. Very cool. Yeah, if you need a website, Squarespace is how you get it. Period. Squarespace.com slash PKA. So in this over coddled world we're in today where it seems like... I don't know where this is heading.

It seems like everybody's just a big pussy who needs to be handheld and treated like... There's no... I don't... We wouldn't make it through another Great Depression, these Americans, right? I feel like we are not hard... Or maybe we need another Great Depression. Don't go there, okay?

We'll work off of too many people. That shit can't happen anymore. But I'm just saying, if today's Americans had to stand in a bread line, it wouldn't fucking work. It wouldn't work. There would be mass hysteria, panic in the streets. It would turn into Fallout 5.

Here's an example. This lady tried to bring her emotional support peacock onto a plane. What? what the fuck is an emotional support peacock there's the image there how does she get into an airport with a peacock

it's on the luggage cart when do these emotional support animals start coming into play i've been taking flights now for a few years i never see them on any of the flights but i'm always on delta is it on a whole different airline i love emotional support animals i like if someone brought their emotional support dog on the plane with them i I'd be happy to have that dog around. Emotionally supporting all of us, isn't it? Yeah, a dog is great. Everybody likes dogs. Peacocks are assholes.

All birds are assholes. All birds are assholes, but the peacock is especially flamboyant. He is the scum of all birds. He's the worst of them all. I feel like you're somehow homophobic birdist. No.

There would be more peacocks. They're not blowing each other in the park. If there's a gay bird out there, it's got to be a peacock. The flamingo. Okay, I stand corrected. Yeah. Oh, goodness. Let's do it just go.

Alright. Is there like a weight capacity for your emotional support animal that you could bring on a plane I have no idea how does that work you can bring a big ass dog as long as you can get that thing under the seat I think it's good maybe you buy a seat for your dog that'd be nice if they paid for that shit I've sat next to a girl who had a dog on the plane with her

just underneath her chair in front of her I'm kind of like, what the fuck? I didn't think this was a thing. Did she take more room than she otherwise would have? The dog stayed fairly well at her feet. It was not a particularly large dog. It was relatively quiet, but it did bark a little bit

from time to time. Kind of like a particularly loud child, I guess. It's a dog barking in a confined space, and i don't quite understand why it was on the plane to begin with but ah so we were just talking about this it seems here's an article that delta is tightening its rules around bringing emotional support animals onto flights uh yeah it's tightened everything else in their fucking planes i can barely fit them anymore it's because of quote serious, serious safety risks. According to the

airline, beginning March 1st, passengers flying with a trained service animal will have to submit a veterinary health form and or immunization records 48 hours before departure. In addition, they require a letter signed by a

doctor or a licensed mental health professional. Passengers flying with psychiatric or emotional support animals will need to submit an emotional support psychiatric service animal request form along with a confirmation of the animal's training form 48 hours before departure. See, this is important and key to this whole thing because I learned when I bought my dog, Dak, that there is no sort of certification for a

service animal. You don't have to show any documentation of any kind. At least that was the case then. All you do is slap a sticker on that motherfucker that says service animal, and now you can take him wherever you want. And people can't even ask, like, why do you need a service animal? Because'd be very impolite. Right? You know, it's discriminatory. You can't ask what's wrong with me. Do I look normal to you? Delta says that it has an 84% increase in reported animal incidents since 2016,

including urination, defecation, with passengers attempting to fly with comfort turkeys, spiders, snakes, a gliding possum, and last year, a passenger was bit in the face by a 70-pound emotional support dog on a Delta flight. Jesus Christ! Dude, the emotional gliding possum was my favorite. That's crazy. That's crazy, huh?

Can you imagine? You got your neck pillow you got your beats by dre on you're you're about to put on those blinders and just kind of lean back the six inches that your coach chair will lean back and all of a sudden there's a fucking gliding possum crawling around on you coming over the seat now the lady's trying to corral it but she's all fucked up that's why she has an emotional support possum i mean there are no normal normal people who have emotional support gliding possums okay that doesn't exist that's by by definition if you have an emotional sport support gliding possum you're fucked up yeah corral that thing

i mean forget even all that like forget the reason why they have i just think it's ridiculous i mean i'm paying however much extra i am to bring baggage on planes these days right to have like a fucking you know forget checked bag this is now they've now started charging you for carry-on bags so i'm in a little tiny yeah yeah you're not do you not fly very often woody uh i flew first class last time oh i see jackass but so first world problems for you not quite the same bags in first class yeah no i i fly a fair amount and uh we tend to go pretty cheap with that especially uh traveling a lot and it's nope you don't get um don't get a check bag anymore don't get uh a uh carry-on bag anymore uh and there's no freaking room in there so like

for me it's like i hate i hate air travel entirely it's so tiny for me and it's so have you ever had to sit next to a fat person yeah that happens for times that's uh i guess i'm a little bothered by that but i'm more bothered by the kind of animal tagged along if they're gonna get to bring their dog and I can't bring my fucking backpack, it seems a little unreasonable to me. Fat person's still a joy, but the worst person I have found is the 30-year-old

guy used to getting his way. That's my least favorite. What's your problem with us? I was going to say. You're not sharing or using the armrest appropriately. If you fucking muscle the armrest, if you take the back and i use the front i'm complaining about i can't bring the stuff i need to be on this flight whatsoever let alone do something on the other side you're uh the problem in first class is your arm your armrest no no in first class you get your own armrests you know there's no problem there but if you are in coach class the worst is the guy who

just like locks it in you know and look if you're there first you're there first i get it you know we live in a society but if if you like try to muscle me off it's on i will fight for what i had you know i you can't just you can't just go nuts with it it's not fair you can't ever play arm footsies with my with my neighbor over an armrest is that something that's happened to you haven't you a lot it sounds like it might be me it's happened twice but yeah yeah two times i've added like a conversation with the guy about it you know we're like how does that go what does that conversation look like because i'm now really curious i've talked about on the show before but like you might like uh i remember one time the guy had his arm and he was taking most of the armrest all right fair enough so i i found a way to be

comfortable using like the front tip of it but he had both armrests taking both sides for him and i just felt like he was i don't know really claiming his space in two alpha away right i am happy to share i'm not happy to be your beta that's that's my mindset in this thing and uh at one point he was like pushing me off so i waited i bided my time and when he was gone i took the spot that he had vacated. Right? So he comes back and starts, like, pushing on me hard. And I didn't budge in the slightest. You know?

I stood my ground. And at one point, he's like, what's wrong with you? You're like, what are you doing? And I was like, the same thing you are. Why is this yours? You're more, what are you doing? And I was like, the same thing you are. Why is this yours? You're more yours than mine. And just as a clarification, I think this is important to the story too.

I assume this is one of these like three seats. Where are you? Aisle, window, or center? So I'm window. And look, I'm well aware of the Jim Jeffries thing. Yeah, where he says the center gets the two armrests or whatever. I think this predates that. Also, I'm not sure I completely agree. I think that you can split an armrest.

That one guy can have the front or whatever. Have you ever considered putting your arm on top of his? And interlacing your fingers? Interlace might be where you're going. No, but I like where you're going with this. your arm on top of his and then he just and interlacing your fingers interlaced my no but i like where you're going with this yeah that's like alpha the alpha right put your right on top of his and maybe like like just use it forget the armrest just put it up and use this guy reach around under it like you would your wife's hand and take you'll get the armrest also i don't fly much how about you this guy had also man spreaded well

into my area and um and again like it wasn't even wasn't even about the space right because i think i would be inclined to sort of lean on the window which was my side it was more about getting alpha you know that this guy was taking the arm rest this guy was taking my leg space this guy was taking everything he wanted fuck that guy you know like i'm more than happy to share with you but i'm not your beta that those that's how this goes down and um i'm such an asshole because i think i was actually willing to fight you know like it he when he had it when he started talking to me about it, I was like, you know, oh, are you three and me? I'll five you.

You know, like, and there's no limit to this. I'm more than willing to choke your ass out on this plane if that's where we hit. That was my mindset at the time. I'm going to go fly list in a heartbeat. Yeah. Oh, I know I'd regret it. I know that. But I would not be misbearing.

Woody, was it right after this that you took up paramotoring? I get my own goddamn secrets. Yeah, yeah. No, like I said, it's so many things. I'm more than willing to go even on all topics all over the place. In business, I really like to be the guy that provides 51% of the value. I feel like that's my happy place, that this is a fair is a fair deal. But, you know, there we are. But, you know, for some guy who wants to take over my space, and more than that, like, wants

to take my elbow and push it off so that he can have that. No, what makes it more yours than mine? I do. I do kind of agree with that. I feel like the type of what you're talking about is what really triggers my wife as well. My wife is a super sweet girl, like very, very, you know, she she's a people pleaser so she's very good about interacting with people communicating and whatnot but things that set her off are like the social norm violations and i think this is exactly that we're all in the same shitty plane and the same shitty air travel and the goal of it is not to

make it worse on anybody else and it certainly isn't to take you know 10 things that aren't yours and now make them yours right like it's shared space you have to you have to give and take on that so i totally understand that that sense of like you know of it's almost um it's the word i'm looking for entitlement like they feel entitled somehow to a to a neutral space and that that pisses me off too i felt like i was standing up to a bully like that that's what's happening between my ears. I think the worst thing as far as flights, and I take quite a few of them, as you are, Woody, I'm also in first

class, the individuals that feel the need to take their shoes off and not have socks on and their feet start leaning towards my leg, I always shut that down as soon as the individual gets comfortable. You'll say something? Oh, I shut it down. You say, put your shoes back on. This is outrageous. I'd be like, my man, You got to move back over to your side

Okay, yeah, you keep your shoes up But keep them over there to your side because everybody has a sense of like leaning towards me They won't take the armrests. I haven't had that issue yet, but they will lean towards me So that foot is coming closer now you we're gonna shut that down What would you do if he smelled like if this guy smelled so bad that every breath you took, you could smell him and it was repugnant. That's a rough space. I mean, you know, usually a flight is full seats, capacity maxed out. What if you notice it as soon as he sits down?

You might take that out. You might take the L. You would never bring it to the flight crew's attention i recognize they smell it who's that man this is a hypothetical but in first class we smell like roses this smells slightly of lavender up there i only bring it up because i was at walmart today i was at walmart today and the lady in front of me she was about 40 years old heavy set gal notice she had a she was buying an enormous bag box crate if you will of maxi pads and 20 pounds of bird seed and my first thought was i swear i bet she stinks i bet this lady smells bad so i sidled up right behind her right because i'm behind her in

line anyway i i i motion leaned in so i could get that thing that separates your shit from their shit use that to kind of throw her off my trail i didn't want to be caught like sniffing her very slick she smelled like a pet store she smelled like shit. She had bird shit stink all about her. I nailed it. I was so proud of myself. Because I had... You could be an FBI profiler. I gave her an ocular pat down, Woody.

I gave her an ocular pat down, and I detected stink. Just with your eyes. Yeah, that's all it took. I immediately knew this is going to be a smelly old lady right here. That's just a lack of confidence, Kyle. If you had been really confident, you wouldn't have gone in

for that scent. You would have known. You would have eyeballed her and been like, fuck that. And you would have taken two steps backwards. I'm still training. I'm tuning my skills in day by day at the Walmart. This is making a lot of sense to me.

It smells so fucking bad. I can't think of a better training ground for stinky people than Walmart. I think I smell good. I have cultivated a good smell for myself. I use a deodorant that smells nice when it's activated. That means if I do start sweating sweating i only begin to smell better right that's the whole point of a nice smelling deodorant and i use uh i've i used to use ck1 that the cologne it's it comes in sort of an opaque clear bottle um but wings of redemption

left his bottle of polo at my house years ago and I've been using that ever since smells good he like enough polo that several years later you still have it yes well you know it is a man who needs some polo in his life so yeah he's a big I just you act you're like he brought a normal bottle of pol down i'm gonna call him stinky that's what's coming i thought you knew that was what was coming you can't set me on stinky i didn't it's just part of i thought it was expensive is actually where i was headed like you know who brings a gallon of polo oh yeah so it doesn't have a squirter it's just got a brush uh i had a thing polo oh walmart it's like the joke right you go to Walmart to feel better about yourself or whatever I don't go to Walmart very often and it's not that I look down on Walmart

it's just it's not by me there's a target by me so you're right but when I do go to Walmart it's usually on vacation like I was there last month because i was on that paramotor flying thing and i almost want to be like you guys know i don't come here all the time right i am i am a tourist in this walmart world of yours i am not one of you such a dick wow that these are the thoughts that exist between my ears. Gumbag Woody. Yeah, right? Like you in the pajamas in the afternoon. Or you over here who buys way more sweatpants per capita than somebody should. I'm only visiting in this strange foreign Walmart of yours.

I got to admit, so here you go to Target. There's a Starbucks in there, right? You go to Walmart, there's a Starbucks in there, right? You go to Walmart, there's a Subway, all right? Yes. Big fucking difference, okay? There's a big fucking difference between the clientele of Target and Walmart. The prices are just a little bit more expensive.

I would say 5% to 8% more expensive at Target. That's significant. But the class of people goes down by 30% to 40% to take advantage of that 8% savings. It's rough in there. There's not a target near me currently. I've been to Walmart the last couple days in a row, getting little odds and ends, getting some cables to work on my setup and stuff. But do you think each of them are the exception, Kyle? Because you go to Walmart. You're there.

You hypothetically are in your own little realm of the lower percentage here. Do you think the bird lady kind of turned around and been like, internally she was thinking, you know, that guy looks down on his luck. I know he's going to come smell me. It's probably his thing. I'm just going to let him go with it. I'm not going to call him out on it. He probably goes home all alone, sits in there all fucking day.

It's probably Walmart's highlight of his week. Masturbates to my smell. Masturbates to fucking fake celebrity photos on the internet no no i i go in there looking nice i never go late late like looking rough if i'm going dress up on your trips to walmart i dress up when i leave the house right like i i put on a nice jacket i put on a nice shirt i put on my best pajama pants i put on my my my nice sneakers you know i i'm not rolling in there trying to fit in right i want them to know like what he said i'm just a tourist here i'm just you are wearing

pajamas in this scenario nobody knows these are pajamas right look? Look. Do you like pajamas? Do you? I don't fucking think so. They got pockets. Look at that. And those from the QVC commercial? Yeah. I get them off Amazon.

They have no belt. Buckle. No belt. I'll let the camera reverse. So this is just like, are you wearing those when you sniff this woman down yeah oh yeah there you are in your pajama pants sniffing this poor lady down she's just trying to buy some shit for her birds you're like that's amazing kyle this is amazing kyle you're out of control look i've converted pajama pants are all i wear anymore like there's no reason to wear jeans

these are comfy they're stretchy stretchy. They're elastic. That's supposed to be a leather jacket or pajamas? Both. I wear both. I wear the leather jacket with the pajama pants. But it is actually leather. It's not like some clingy... It's lambskin, actually.

Very soft. Supple. This is not a cheap jacket at all. Kyle, you're a perfect candidate to do fashion on YouTube right now, bro. That's a good idea. I'm just saying. Looking for a transition. Yeah. Not the kind you're thinking of.

Although, I feel like my hands are way too big to become a woman, and the surgeries are too invasive. But if they had some sort of, If it was as easy as Fallout, I'd definitely try it on for a few weeks, right? You could just take the pills and shave and you'd be a trap. You could be a trap. Trapping. Do you remember that app that took you and made you a girl?

You'd be a great trap, Kyle. Trapp is highly offensive. Wait, what? you a girl you'd be a great trap kyle trap is highly offensive wait what this would be like if i said that i maybe you know if i could change my race and become a black guy for a few weeks i'd like to try that and you're like you'd be a great nigger kyle yeah that'd be real good yeah you should try that on and we're all just like cringing like like i don't think any. Are you just mentally thinking, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned the book at all? Like, maybe I don't want these two things associated.

Like, perhaps I would just, you know, maybe the rest of us keep our heads down. I didn't know trap was offensive. I didn't turn away from the camera a little bit. There's all these people who self-identify as traps on rtraps, the subreddit. I'm not going to. Holy shit. I don't know anything about about that i don't spend too much time

lucky for us filthy is traps offensive i i have no fucking deal no idea whatsoever you have a master's degree in like sexual deviance right yes or no i'm sitting here right now and i'm thinking internally how my wife i think for the for the first time I was on PKA, went and listened to it. She wanted to hear what it was about. And then she was so angry afterwards, and she basically does not touch the show anymore. Get her on the show. Doesn't she also have advanced schooling in this? I'm thinking of her just cringing right now.

The talk that's going on. Hey. Ask her. Ask her if trap is offensive. I feel like she'd know what what he would like to know is trap as a as a uh a way to refer to for a transgender person offensive you've never heard trap yeah i bet you are rap is just it's literally like the trap as in you're looking at an attractive girl it's a trap style yeah yeah what do you think

offensive what do you want to wager a guess i would wager offensive yeah right when he was surprised kyle was like that's an he got he got a little surprised i'm kind of confused by that and what i was suggesting was that you know i wouldn't want to become a transsexual i would want to become a woman wait what well i was only i was only offering up what do you think it is when a male becomes a female if it's not a transsexual you're like i don't want to become a trans woman what oh what's her a mental illness oh jesus now i'm offensive because i just they self-identified as traps they said look, look at me. Can I pass?

Did I fool you? It's like, yeah, you're like a C-cup. I was fooled. I think it's like the N-word. It's okay for them to say it. I'm dropping N-bombs this whole... Oh, I see where you're headed. But you can't say that. You might want to

to get it out of your system. Go for it. Woody, you're of your system. Go for it. Woody, you're on the edge. Go for it. Which word are we talking about? I don't even... Both. Combine them.

Trap. Say it. Trigger. I said both. I said I put a black trap. Oh, God. Oh, God. I couldn't say it. trap. Oh, God. I couldn't shoot.

Oh, it was clever. I'm so proud of myself. I don't know how we got here. I think I said something about willing to become a woman for a week or two at a time, but I don't know how I got to that. I was going to say you got us here, Kyle. I had some where I was going. I thought this was a transition from you, Dan.

I thought you were talking about Kyle becoming a fashion model on YouTube. Isn't that the transition? Yeah, Dan took us here. Dan is the reason we're talking about traps and bringing in Filthy's wife, who seems lovely by voice on the side. Yeah, I would love to. Is this a game to his wife? I think he's got a lot of smooth and over to do with her.

He doesn't know this. There's no reason you should feel obligated to do this woody but uh she doesn't love the pka podcast so um yeah i think that would i'll tell her you said nice things i i was in all sincerity i heard her from the side and she seemed cheery and upbeat and very nice that's all those things yeah that's all the that's everything i got to do it. Everyone. Are you blinking? Like you're in distress. Is this like, like, like the Vietnam? Oh my God. Oh my God. Someone get me out of here. Like when the POWs come on camera, they're just like blinking Morse code.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That was dark. Was that Korea or Nam? I thought it was Nam, but I could be wrong. It doesn't matter. Yeah, they're all the same. Huh. Okay, I did have one question before we changed topic,

and hopefully we won't go back, devolve back to what we were just chatting about. But so I don't know anything about concealed carry, but I know a number of you guys have concealed carry permits, right? How does that – where do you normally carry a concealed carry weapon? Because it feels like your pajama pants might not really be up to that task. Does it come with it? Oh, in there only. Okay.

So it's not like some special model you got that's for the fake pajama pants that also facilitate the concealed carry in some way? Well, when I concealed carry, I would always carry a small pistol. Woody and I have the same Ruger LCP pistols. They're very, very tiny. And you can put that thing in a jeans pocket or a jacket pocket or anything like that. Are the elastics strong enough to deal with that on your pajama pants?

Oh, well, I don't put... Yes, yes. These are high-quality pajamas, okay? These are top-notch, all right? These are not white trash jammies, okay? I know that's what you're thinking. You're thinking I got some white trash jammies. I don't want to stare at you.

You just keep talking about Walmart pajamas. These were $50, I'll have you know. They are high-quality. That's like what my jeans cost. Exactly. And hey, I don't have to take mine off when I go to bed at night. I just leave them on. I wake up the next day, wear them consecutively until they wear out.

And then I throw them away. And get a new one. Oh, God. It's my third one. I don't watch these bitches. It's fair. Let's get a new color. Wait, they look like the same color as the old pair.

It's black. Okay. You got them in red? No, I don't. Oh, they've got khaki. I saw khaki. And they like a like an indigo blue and they got regular you know blue and they have black get them i don't picture you as a qvc shopper i work off of amazon uh almost everything that i get is off of amazon every day the ubs lady brings a big bundle of amazon shit all my shit comes from amazon i i that way i don't have to

rub elbows with the bird shit lady on a daily basis you know amazon related that uh amazon is now carrying like sex toys like basically the almost the same fucking uh like stock as like extreme restraints have you seen this i didn't know that amazon was yeah that's i i got a shipment of of sex toys today yeah i feel like that's so strange that's i i know but i don. I guess I don't shop for sex toys all that often, but it just seems strange that Amazon has jumped on that wagon. Hey, pro tip for you guys out there. After your order comes, you can click

archive order, and then if anyone else uses your Amazon account, they don't really see all the things you've ordered. It's not on the list. Ah, good one there, Woody. I like that i like that i uh yeah right now i think i get virtually all my sex toys from amazon unless it's something that amazon doesn't have i go to extreme restraints so yeah yeah like most of the bondage stuff and attachments and and uh you know electro prods and that sort of thing e-stem devices and electro ejaculators you have to go to a farm supply store to get those usually though because i i want high voltage uh you know so usually

size penis devices don't fit absolutely well it Well, it doesn't have any... It's actually... If I was serious about electro-rectal ejaculation, you'll be sure to pay attention to the rectal part, because that thing's going up your ass on your prostate and tasing that bitch to

forcibly make you ejaculate. Damn, you want to plug your book again? Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Oh, whatever. forcibly make you ejaculate. Damn, you want to plug your book again? That would be Eating Across America. You can now pre-order that on Amazon.com. Awesome. Nice. Hey, you can add lots of things into that cart.

Damn doesn't judge you by what else is in your cart. I don't judge you at all. And remember, you can archive your orders once they're delivered. Wow. Oh, so I feel, I think the audio quality

on the show is fine. But every so often people tick or whatever. I am building a new PC. I'm almost done. I did it on the Hangout. I had to wait for my video card to arrive.

It came today. And I think for the next show, I'll have a new computer, which I hope does this kind of thing on one CPU. That should be cool. Yeah, I will also have a new computer by next show.

It's been a real hassle this week with my bank. My daily limit on my debit card is like $3,000. And the computer that I purchased is a good bit more than that. The computer was $4,000. And the computer that I purchased is a good bit more than that. And so the computer was $4,000. And so I call the bank. I raise the thing to $5,000. Call iBuyPower. All right, hit it. Day goes through. Get an email late that night after iBuyPower is closed. Declined. And that happened four days in a row until yesterday. I had my bank on one line and

I buy power on the other. I'm like, you guys can't blame each other now. I've got you both. You're both here. Say hi to Gene. Sarah? Sarah, are you there? All right. Now we're going to make this work. That was the only way I could make it happen because every time one of them would blame the other, the bank kept saying that they were putting in the wrong number and they kept saying that the bank wasn't providing the funds i literally had to get them both on separate phones so like make them like not lie to me anymore and and fucking it's actually my transaction i i had a similar experience but it went so i was buying a lawnmower and uh it was also over the limit and uh i just called the bank and i'm like oh you know that one that you didn't approve would you approve it now and

they're like yes it's not much of a story so i i wish that it had been that easy for me it was a real fucking hassle but yeah i got it all going on now uh i'm really excited to get my new computer to see what kind of frame rates I can get when I play my modded to the gills Fallout and PUBG and stuff. I may even get a new monitor that has a higher refresh rate

because this is 100 frames per second is the max that I can do with this one. I'd kind of like to see what PUBG looked like in 200 frames per second or something like that. I didn't notice any difference. 240, I think. Hmm. That's high.

Yeah. I would love to see a video of you doing a blind test between the two. Like, I don't know, put you in something, like, your eyes, and just, like, move you or something. Like, eyes closed, move to a monitor, see, eyes closed, move to another one. I want to see if you can tell any difference between that. You totally can't so like this monitor tops out 100 frames per second and i can i'll be playing and i'll be like oh whoa this is no good there's no good and i i have a frame rate monitor and a very tiny top right yeah look and it's like oh yeah it's dropped to fucking

60 50 frames or something like that because i went into the city of Boston in Fallout 4. Whereas if you're out in a building or in the country or something like that, I'm getting 110, 120 frames or something like that. I could definitely see the difference. It's sort of a jittery, stuttery kind of thing that goes on even with a G-Sync monitor.

For me, I can very much tell there's between 30 and 60. Oh yeah. I think I can usually see 60 to 120 like i can notice that improvement i don't think i would catch 120 to 240 i think that would be pretty subtle i still rarely play fps's so it's just i don't i don't know like most of the stuff i need i don't tend to need that for but maybe maybe one day i'm kind of curious got civ 5 maxed out it does look good though like like i i i've got my monitors 34 3440 by 1440 and man civ looks amazing in that aspect ratio that's that's one of the like as soon when i first bought this monitor civ was what i was playing so it was was like, ah, look at the trees!

Look at the wheat fields! They look great! So I'm looking forward to this new computer, though. It's quite a bit better than the one I've got now. I'm gifting this one over to my friend Kitty, so she'll have a nice PC. And yeah, I'm looking forward to it. It's going to be fun. You know what I want that's hard to get, I think, from the specs? I really like having a lot of screen real estate. It's going to be fun. You know what I want that's hard to get, I think, from the specs? I would like, I really like having a lot of screen real estate.

It's something I value highly. But it kicks off heat. And in the summer, it can be too much. So I would love a better screen real estate to heat ratio. I'm touching mine. I could definitely, like, I'm putting the back of my hand against it. I can definitely feel, like, slight warmth. It's not hot, though. My PC is the thing that puts off a good bit of heat like it it heats the bedroom

like like i i wouldn't need a heater in the winter i just leave my pc on at night it gets fucking hot we have one of those uh laser thermometers you know you can point it and see where the heat is coming from and the pc was not nearly as bad as the monitors. Now, it might be if I was work, like if I was actively gaming and it was really fired up, that might change. But for something like PKA, it's just all this monitor heats up the room. Yeah.

I love this widescreen monitor. I don't know. Do you have an ultra wide, a 2560? It's the same as yours, but not curved. Okay, yeah. Awesome. Yeah, it's a great monitor. Yeah, I have that in the middle,

and then I have two 14-40s on the side, which is not... If you ever have like a triple monitor or even a double monitor set up, you really want them to have the same pixel density. Like that's the big thing. So you can drag windows from one to the other and it don't get big and small and stop fitting.

So the fact that the middle one's ultra-wide is not a problem because when I drag it in from the sides, it's the same pixel density. Everything works. Gotcha. Yeah. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I've got a 4K monitor like up here. I'm kind of thinking about – I don't need it. So when you drag something to the 4K, it gets small, right?

Or no? I don't have a lot. I just watch videos up there. So I drag YouTube up there. I'm not, like, doing anything else up there or watching TV on it. You know, I'll have it, like, playing TV. And while I'm, you know, working on my computer, working. And working hard on my Fallout character. She's top notch.

Dude, I'm like, I got this 1080 Ti GPU sitting over here. I'm like, ah, I can't wait to do my taxes this year. This bitch is gonna be great. Yeah, I wish you, you're really not taking advantage of that GPU. That is true.

That is true. You need a game that you're into. And you of that GPU. That is true. That is true. You need a game that you're into. And you know, I like games, but for whatever reason, they can't get that initial hook. If a game would just get me to bite, I'm sure it would reel me all the way in, right? Because it's not like I haven't enjoyed games

or I look down on games or anything. It's just that, I don't know, I never get so psyched about one that I install it and give it a chance. Come play PUBG with us, man. It's a real hoot. That might be the one. I easily get, I'm sure Chiz would play, but Chiz is shit at the game, so maybe we won't start out with him. So that I win some. We'll get two of my other friends that are actually good at the game.

We'll get Class Above or MiddySmitty, one of those guys. I know MiddySmitty. Yeah, he's a cool guy. I know from his videos, yeah. Yeah. He's a child. He's 18 years old. But those are the people that are good at PUBG.

That's the guy you want on your team. Yeah. You never know when you're playing with these guys online, right? Like, I've got a full friends list uh i i need to do something to my steam account to open it up to more than 100 friends but i currently got 100 friends um and uh and i play with these guys regularly i just i kind of know them i know their screen names any any way and where they're from like one guy's from new zealand and uh you know i know what states they're in and everything and someone asked one

of the guys the other day how old he is he's like he's like oh I'm about to be 17 I'm like oh shit I thought you're a grown-ass man like I've been playing games with you for months and I know you're a child you child it's it's weird when I find out I'm playing with literal children sometimes like you know I used to have a Minecraft server and i play with people and you know like i only knew them like from their avatar and like the actions in game maybe things they type and then later on we get in team speak and all of a sudden like what i know about them is so different like like he's such an industrious hard-working guy like when when tons of dirt needs to be moved this guy will do it you know relentlessly and then

i meet him and it's like does he have a drinking problem you know like this guy holy fuck he drinks a lot you know and he's 30 and he's playing this game and it's just like they like all kinds of characters like this guy you know like uh particularly good what they call pvp player versus player and uh wins every fight is amazing he's whatever so in my head uh probably in real life maybe he's captain of the football team probably well developed strong uh you know very cool kind of guy that would win a lot of fights right totally follows yeah and then he's 12 you know he's 12 and probably although i can't prove it uses some sort of cheating client and uh yeah it is you know

like you hear him on team speak squeaking at you and you're like oh my god you're the baddest motherfucker on this server yeah uh it was always fun when that happened. Yeah, man. You should download PUBG. It's so much fun. It's very addictive. And the thing about it is once you die, it's so rinse and repeat. There's no down... There's one minute of downtime between matches, maximum. So you just go and go and go.

COD has more than that. Oh, absolutely COD has more than that. And the servers are... I see so many people complaining but like i've been playing the game since it was in like early alpha when there were actual bugs and actual issues with the game and to me that shit just adds character to the game when you just sometimes you just randomly explode and it happens character to you that would be very frustrating to me oh it's it's they're selling you this game right now. You know that, right?

Yeah, there's a lot of reviving. Bug explode? Sometimes you'll all be in a... When the game first came out, the motorcycles would just randomly flip and kill you. But they've fixed all that stuff now. Now, though, when vehicles collide, I don't know anything about coding,

but for some reason, they don't like that. If but for some reason they they don't like that and so like if somebody rams your car with a motorcycle like your buddy could do it even and one of you might just go to space you'll just get that does that character to a game and you're just riding the motorcycle like and your friend is traveling hundreds and hundreds of yards away at like a thousand feet of altitude and if if he lands it just right, he'll live and just pull the most sick, evil-can-evil move of all time. But the highs are super high,

and the lows are actually comical, right? When shit goes silly or you fuck up, it can be really funny if two guys are dancing around, missing each other continuously. And my friends are pretty good, like that class-ab above uh class above guy uh sometimes we'll all die and it's just him left in the four four versus it's squad mode so it's four man teams and he'll clutch the shit out of it and and take out like the last eight nine guys

like two full teams by himself it's so fun we're all cheering and and just so pumped when you know you see winner winner chicken dinner pop up on the screen. Isn't that a funny thing? It's perfect. It's somehow silly and light hearted yet prized and valued. I don't know where that came from but somehow they nailed it.

I don't know if it's, maybe it's because I'm a shooter guy and I understand a little better. I would watch highlights of League of Legends and be like, I don't know if it's – maybe it's because I'm a shooter guy and I understand a little better. I would watch highlights of League of Legends and be like, I don't even get this. Like why was that good? I watch highlights of Rocket League and having played it a little, I understand it's amazing. But I've seen so many of them. Just it's random honestly sometimes. Or amazing just seems like the standard.

But when I see fun or cool things happen in pub g i get it some guy with no bullets in his gun hop in a car and win it by running over someone or or they hop in a car and jump out while it's going slow at the top of a hill and have it roll down while they're safe and kill a guy and i'm just like i get the magnificence of that you know from my limited limited for my shooting game experience i see why that's good dr disrespect had an amazing clip one time he um we remember he had like one bullet in his gun and like there's there's a guy shooting at him maybe he had two he he got he's like i got this he hops in the car drives over to the guys jumps out and uses the only bullet he has to kill the

guy it was just and in that game it's like you just don't do that shit you know you get fucked up if i know i'd get fucked up if i tried that he's i think he's coming back yeah i think he's coming back um yeah he he sort of rebranded i i noticed a few little details like he uh instead of the slick daddy club i think they're now he's now like the champions club or something like that um i i don't know if slick dad you know i i think i'm reading into things a little bit but like so i think you're going with this i've got it yeah right like the slick daddy thing seems kind of like i saw them do an announcement comeback video it got got to the Reddit front page, I think.

I guess what I'm saying is maybe a married man shouldn't refer to himself as Slick Daddy. That's where I thought you might be going to. With his infidelity background. I'm not... I won't throw any stones at the Doc. He is not Wings of Redemption. He throws them at me.

It's like a dick doc. The hate is real this evening. Look, there were years where he would throw stones at me and I would look the other way. And he never forgave. Yeah, yeah. If this somehow gets to Doc, he's going to be like, Woody's an asshole.

But yeah, I do remember talking tons of shit about him so yeah suck a dick doc oh i gotta say quite the opposite i like his stuff man i like i like the opposite you're right eat a pussy doc uh-huh see what i did there you do that was cute that was cute yeah that's what got you into this so you're you're about bygones bygones right uh no i remember i remember um but i didn't start it i got that going for me fellas break down reddit for me the craziest thing is the only interaction i ever had with reddit was back in 2012 when my five guys video went viral it was because of reddit i didn't sign up to reddit till like two days ago oh man how does that like i know reddit is its own world its own space you

just can't walk up in reddit sign up and just run yeah so the thing about reddit is no matter what you're into what your thing is your interest your your really niche passion there is a subreddit for you full of people tens of thousands of them that are just as into that niche thing as you if you're into knitting our knitting i bet it's a thing i'm guessing if you're into fallout 4 like i am right now i got to rfo4 and it's just thousands of people talking about it talking about bugs talking about how to mod it talking about how to edit it if you're into photography our photography right like if you're into porn oh oh this goes on and on tell me more about what kind of porn you like what's your what what what are your vagina aesthetics at like do you want do you want r labia gone wild

that's big flabbery roast beef pussies do you want r any that's gone wild? That's big, flabbery, roast beef pussies. Do you want R. N. E.? Yeah, see? This is an N. E. man right here. I can see by his reaction. You want R. I-N-N-I-E. R. N. E. All right?

So that's the beauty of Reddit is that they bring together this huge, massive, diverse group of people who all have varied passions. And of course, there's the front page, which is all of those subreddits aggregated into one list, right? You know, whatever's most popular at that time. And Reddit has its own algorithms for weighting these things. And that's been politicized. Yeah, scrutinized. But still, the front page of Reddit, R-all, as it's known,

is what I do in my spare time. Like, if I'm just killing time, if I'm sitting waiting on a haircut, if I'm sitting waiting on an oil change, I'm on R-all just scrolling for page after page because it's just such high-quality content from so many varied sources. People submit. So Kyle was laying it out. There's subreddits, which is different areas of interest, right?

You know, there's one for this podcast. And then people upvote it, right? So, hey, you know, I like this video. I'll click upvote. And then whatever's hottest, right? There's some algorithm having to do with like how many upvotes it has and how long it took to get them that make things go hot. So your video surely got submitted to somewhere. People upvoted it because they loved it.

And then it got to the front page. And then things just go ballistic from there. So it's fun. There's, like Kyle said, whatever is interesting. A lot of times political stories get upvoted a lot. Share just a couple weird ones. Not necessarily strange, but ones that wouldn't be ones that you would normally think of woody so give them some some example of like the very focused interest group ones that you might be as part of oh like subreddits that there's a

parameter one there's exactly um there's one for everything kyle was nailing it uh i'm into the i go to the one for our podcast a lot um there's our birds with arms okay yeah there's there's there's two so little background if you're into motorcycles and if you tend to ride motorcycles what people would call irresponsibly right you're not wearing any protective equipment and you do wheelies all the time you you're called a squid. Well people have embraced this irresponsibility, and they call themselves the Calamari Race Team. And they just post pictures of themselves doing two things pretty much, insane stunts and ER photos.

Which is the fucking greatest thing, yeah. And there's the concept of squid marks, which are like stitches, you know, the scar with the things on either side and they'll share it they'll share their squid ink ink marks i think they're called something like that ink stains and uh and yeah it's just wild wheelies like uh lane splitting in some states it's legal to drive in between the cars and usually you do that you know slightly faster than cars and calamari race team they are going between cars at ridiculous speeds,

swerving in and out. It's just fun hooliganism. I'm over here looking for creepy subreddits, and I saw something I didn't want to see. What did you see? I'm afraid of – I only have one fear. Do you remember what my fear is? Lasophobia.

Well, everybody's afraid of the unknown deep of the ocean, right? It's really the fear of the unknown, I suppose, to some extent. But as far as, like, classical monsters, if you will, Frankenstein, bullshit, right? You know, werewolves, bullshit. Bring it. I'm not afraid of any of these things. Aliens.

Aliens. I'm afraid of aliens. Uh-huh. Because you can't fight an alien you can't shoot an alien you can't argue with an alien he sees you as a lower life form he's got higher technology higher intelligence he sees you as a farm animal so not like the not like specific movie aliens not like that type of oh no not not those are called xenomorphs okay yeah no no i'm not afraid of xenomorphs because they are fictional and they live on another planet far from here.

So no need to fear them. I'm afraid of the large-eyed gray aliens specifically. If you ever watch The Fifth Kind or – The Fifth Element element no the fifth kind let me let me let me let me try to find a thing it's about alien abduction fire in the sky um uh these are some of the scariest movies i've ever seen. And they really, really terrify me. Let's watch this trailer for a minute. No? My computer has been,

for whatever reason, it's not running well tonight. I thought things were great. We really got to get the new one cooking. But if I watch a video, I'm positive it's going to be jumpy and crackly. That was the wrong trailer anyway. That was something else that was also scary.

I don't know what the fuck that is. It's the fifth kind trailer. I can see why you thought it was, right? Because I was wrong it's the fourth kind. That's the movie. The fifth kind's fine. The fifth kind looks scary too but fuck that. It's probably not nearly as scary as the fourth kind.

Okay? Like, I watched this movie and I couldn't sleep. I was afraid. I watched this shit when I was like 27. Like, this isn't... This is like, you know, as a little kid and I watched Fire in the Sky when I was like 12 years old. Fucked me up. Fucked me up. Fucked me up.

In both of these cases, both of these movies are about alien abduction. And they are loosely based on, I'm using air quotes, true stories. Stories that have well documented police records and eyewitness testimony and stuff like that. Like basically something went on and there are people who say that aliens were involved. I'm not saying that they're true stories, but they are based – there's some sort of structure there that seems true enough that it adds a realistic sort of tone to what you're watching, and that makes it even more horrifying. Yeah, I'm afraid of aliens. And what I saw was when I was looking for weird subreddits was this gif of a gray alien with those big fucking eyes coming out of somebody's closet, and that horrifies me.

That scares me so goddamn bad. Did you watch that video, Chizlinked, about finding aliens and why that would be so terrible for us? I've watched a lot of those. I really find that stuff interesting. There's a lot of those um i i really find that stuff interesting there's a lot of cool youtube channels um that talk what's it called there's some sort of filter about um this i watch a lot about alien life and the possibility of it why or why we may have not contacted or come into contact with it yet it's it's really interesting to me yeah he had a i had

never seen anyone describe what he described. He was like, we have telescopes and we have satellites and we can see really far. And we look out into the vast, vast, vast universe and we found nothing, nothing, no hints of any life whatsoever as far as we can look. So he's like, why is that? You know, is it that, he says, there has to be some sort of filter. It could be that the filter is one we already passed, where it's really hard to create life from no life, period. Right? That could be it.

It could be that the filter was somewhere along the way, where it's really hard to go from a single cell to a multi-cell organism. Right? It could be that the filter is in front of us, something we haven't hit yet. Right? that the the filter is in front of us something we haven't hit yet right because the universe is very old right and practically endlessly old you know from from our perspective it would be weird that we're the most advanced to have ever advanced if there's a filter in front of us like hey once people figure out how to go from planet to planet quickly, something obliterates their world. And he's like, if the filter is in front of us,

that means that there's probably something that people are repeatedly learning that gets themselves killed. It could be AI, it could be nanotechnology or something that just ends there. Thermonuclear weapons. Sure. And I don't know, he's like,

so if we meet someone who's on the other side of that filter is really bad news i wish i could lay it out quite like he did but it was interesting it's like yeah we can see pretty far at this point right i we're pretty confident that there's no life nearby and by nearby that i don't know what that even means 10 light years you know like well we means. 10 light years? We haven't got any radio signals, but we don't know that they would use radio signals. We can't

see them, but we would be able to see them. I was watching a video about these things called von Neumann probes. The idea is that you have this self-replicating space von von Neumann V o n any you ma in in something like that and it's these

self replicating space probes that they say that you know if it would be how an advanced civilization would yeah you build a robot, it shoots it off, lands somewhere, the robot's whole command is basically build another copy, do two copies of yourself, shoot off to two more. And that any space-saving civilization of a further enough technological, you'd see remnants of them from this. Yes. And the thing is, we haven't found one yet. One hasn't contacted us yet.

So there's all these theories about why haven't we? So either there are none because there's never been intelligent life, intelligent enough to create one, even though it's sort of a – it would happen if there were intelligent life. It's sort of an obvious step to explore. It seems like we're 300 years from that. The video suggested we're very close to it. I don't know. Or maybe there's one in our solar system right now sitting asleep, waiting to maybe every 10 million years it scans us, right? 10 million years ago, there wasn't anything to know about.

One million years ago, there wasn't anything to report back, right? So there's that possibility. Or maybe it's sitting there waiting, watching, until we do get to a certain point in technology. And then it messages, maybe it just zaps us with gamma radiation and sets us back. I feel like you can see human life on Earth from really far away.

You know, the way our cities light things up. It's not even that. We've been actively broadcasting into everywhere forever. We do this with radio waves. We do this actively actively we send out probes that are you know broadcasting this information attempting to look for life and it's you know i'm a big science fiction guy i read a lot of science fiction and that's that is a questionable strategy on some on some way of looking at that because you're essentially announcing to yourself and who's going to find you anyone with better technology than you are the people who are actually going to be able to follow up on that the people who can if they can do it if it's

ever something that is something they do in this world can move faster than light who can move who can hear your radio signal backtrack and then follow find you and it's like that's a pretty stupid stupid technique on some level the little bit i know about civ compared to you has actually impacted my line of thinking about how to run a country, how to lead a nation, how to run a planet. You know, like, I feel like you send out scouts. Great. Now that, that place knows you're nearby. Yeah. It's a risky thing to do. I, you know, and in guns versus butter, you know, where you invest your, you know, your economic resources.

A lot of my thinking around that is influenced by civilizations. Yeah. What would a... If they did find us and they were interested in us, if they replied back with a message, what would that message be?

What would they reply back? We're coming. Submit. Would the message say, hello, greetings? Would it say, help us, please? You know, like what would it say? Would it be a warning? Would it be a long data stream and binary code that needed to be compiled and it's secret technologies. Tell us about your natural resources.

Yeah, but that's... We're thinking about coming. We don't have much water. What you got? But water is so prevalent in the universe and it's so easy to make, right? That's one thing I don't think it would be. You know, in Independence Day, the Will Smith movie, they wanted our planet. They wanted to gobble up our resources.

But the universe is just full of resources and if they're advanced enough to get here, then they're advanced enough to make water from hydrogen and oxygen. Or maybe someone they could teach? Or what if it's some sort of artificial intelligence that was created long ago by an advanced race that has decided that all sentient biological life is a plague upon the universe and needs to be stamped out? That would be the scariest thing. That's what we'd do. If we went to another planet and we were like,

oh yeah, the only thing here is robots. We can do anything. Fuck it, they're not even life. Or if we said, yeah, we went here, but there's no intelligent lives. There's just a bunch of, like, koala-type things. We can do anything we want. That's what we'd do.

They'd have to be as smart as us to get our respect. And if they found us, then, you know, of course, we're probably not the smart ones. Yeah. It's a really scary proposition. You know, everybody wants it to be Star Trek, where everybody's pretty much on the same level of evolution, you know, but I don't think that's the least likely event.

Of course, Star Trek explains why everybody's virtually on the same level. I'm not going to go too deep. I remember that. Yeah. They actually have an explanation. That's good because it's totally a big hole if they don't. They discover genetic parallels between all of the major races in the Star Trek universe.

Oh, okay, it's a progenitor's title. Exactly. Someone had seeded the universe, the galaxy, actually, with their own genetic platform. It had evolved into these bipedal life forms that became Vulcans or Cardassians or Klingons or humans. And so they all had a common ancestor, basically. And that's why everybody was virtually on the same tech scale, basically looked alike, you know, two eyes, two ears, one mouth,

you know, bipedal, all that stuff. It's crazy. I think as much of aliens as I do when I think of the zombie apocalypse always a great story makes great for a movie but the reality is like slim to none and over the years it's just been so many individuals that everybody stops long enough to look into outer space whether it's late at night whatever the case may be might be high might be drunk it really doesn't matter to think what is actually beyond and then is there more? And the more you begin to think about this, the more you start to believe that there is. And once you share your story with other individuals, they too will begin to believe. If another individual starts to believe on something

that may or may not exist, it becomes the world's biggest story. But the reality is, we'll all be dead well before anything ever happens. I've been working on zombies for about eight months now. I have 18 homeless men in a shipping container that I've dosed with rabies and that I've been abusing and leaving in the hot sun every day. Back on your sex life again. They've gone insane. They are just filled with nothing but bloodlust. I feed them roadkill.

They're ready to unleash themselves upon the populace. I hear that. I can respect that, Kyle. I think if you release it in Florida, then you'll get away with it. Nobody would notice. Yeah, exactly. We'll just blend in with the population. Being the fact they're homeless, have you at least offered these gentlemen those quality jeans that you're wearing?

The pajama jeans, the all-rocking pajama jeans. They turned me on to the pajama jeans. I mean, they got some good ideas. You don't live on the streets and not understand comfort. It's going to happen. I hear you, man. streets and not understand comfort it's it's it's it's gonna happen you're gonna want some these pajama jeans i know you already bought them i need to get it i need an affiliate link for these bitches like like like you know i i know i had an affiliate link and it got like taken away i got it renewed and fixed or something and it doesn't work anymore, and I don't know what the scoop is. Amazon just periodically invalidates

my link. Maybe Amazon from time to time listens to the podcast? Yeah. Maybe it's all the talk of supple boy ass that runs them away. Speaking of that, bad breath is nasty, embarrassing, and a major problem in both the boardroom and

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and being the fact that I still do my thing on YouTube. Fellas, and this could come from either one of you. Do you ever think Facebook will get to a point and are you familiar with their watch program? Their answer to Netflix? To Netflix or to YouTube? It's more so towards Netflix.

They try to get the quality shows going on with their watch program. I mean, it could also, I guess, come back to YouTube Red. But YouTube Red is more creator-specific, whereas with Facebook Watch, it goes out a little bit beyond just the Facebook creators. They started reaching out to a lot of celebrities, this, that, and the third. So do you think that Facebook video in general actually gets to the point of being that true competition for YouTube? I wonder. I wonder about that a bunch.

You know, like Facebook has the eyeballs, so it seems like it wouldn't be hard for them to branch out into video. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong spot. Maybe I'm not seeing Facebook Watch. But the video I see on Facebook is horrible. I've uploaded a bunch of things to Facebook. I have my little paramotor friends. And they take my perfectly quality videos

and turn it into garbage. Just the lowest bit rate garbage that you could possibly imagine. And I'm almost mad at Facebook because I know I'm not uploading garbage to it, but there it is. It just makes it terrible. Did they contact you yet within the last past few months to offer you your own actual entertainment page?

No, no. Not really that big a deal. But it sounds like you've worked with them? Yes. Yes. So I have my regular fan page on Facebook, but then I have the Dame Drops Entertainment page. What happens, even as you guys still remember Ray William Johnson,

I know he was one of the first creators to be part of Facebook Watch before it actually started growing. So literally, when you go to Facebook Watch, say you have your mobile phone right now, you open your app, look for the Facebook play button. It's very similar to the YouTube play button. It's going to bring you to the new section of Facebook where everything is laid out like an actual TV show and or a movie. actual TV show and or movie. Everything goes into seasons, season one, season two, season three, and everything, of course, is probably shot with the red camera,

the $50,000 monster or better with the whole entire production team. So they've definitely taken the quality up a notch just off of their watch program alone. We'll see. I don't know. Maybe my mind is closed. I get a little irritated that it seems like companies like YouTube and everybody really, really values that house of cards, you know, the 10 episodes a year. you know who makes a video or two every day gets millions of views it's personality driven and somehow they're just like ah this content's garbage well that just means you're not the right

demo you know i only watch p2 videos every once in a while but i'm a 44 year old dad right i'm the fact that i watch any at all is amazing you know for a gaming channel like that somehow like you know when you said the red camera it kind of turned me off like dude you can make great videos with a thousand dollar camera for sure you know most people probably can't even tell the difference and uh like stop devaluate devaluing people who make videos that are i don't know more driven, more connected to the viewers. No one connects to Kevin Spacey in, no one willingly connects to Kevin Spacey. But like in House of Cards, you know, it's just a show you watch, you binge it over two days,

and then you put it down until next year. Why is that so much better than what PewDiePie offers? And they pay more for it, right? I bet PewDiePie would work for way less than House of Cards annual budget. Oh, indeed. Indeed. We lost. Well, I can't even say we. I mean, I would just say with YouTube and with Facebook, they lost the vision of what the creator once was.

We were all in that space where you can shoot with you know your cell phone or you know your vlog camera whatever the case may have been you didn't you're right well you never had to spend a lot to make great content you had to have the talent you had to have that creativity you had to have a plan going into it sometimes you didn't need a plan and it just came together but once netflix came out and netflix became that big thing It seemed that YouTube and everybody else under the sun wanted to attack Netflix and say, hey, listen, we can do it too over here. Bring your big company dollars onto our platform and we can show you that we can put out Netflix-type quality. So it seems that's when YouTube Red was born, Facebook Watch was born, and then so on. Facebook Watch was born and then so on

I just wonder why I don't know the eyeballs that saw House of Cards for an hour were so much more than the eyeballs that watch an hour worth of PewDiePie it seems the same to me why is the advertising so much cheaper over there if anything the demo is probably better on a PewDiePie video

doesn't everybody want the kids and the young adults and stuff there's serious citizens watching the others. I mean, House of Cards wins Emmys, right? House of Cards makes people come and pay $10 a month just to get it. I don't know that PewDiePie could do that. If PewDiePie immediately switched to Netflix, how many people would come and sign up for Netflix

that aren't already on there to get his catalog of videos? It's just a different format. It's different stuff. It's a different demographic. I feel like a fair number probably would. Probably. It's a huge following. Yeah, he'd probably make $10 or $15 million a year.

He should be looking into making his own fucking platform. I'm surprised he hasn't. I'm surprised he hasn't. He should have his own platform and then he would have some negotiation power with YouTube. Like, hey, I could go over here to PoodieTube. By the way, I'm taking this creator, that creator,

this creator. We account for 190 million subscribers. Or you could pay us. Or you could buy. You want to buy this platform that I just built? And you could do with it what you want? Or should we just leave? Does PewDiePie still get the most views?

We look at his sub count on YouTube. No. Do creators care about sub counts? Okay. Is Logan Paul the view guy? I think last I checked, I believe it was Ryan's Toy Reviews that was actually accumulating all the views on a daily basis, which was crazy for a while. And, of course, the Paul brothers are getting their views as well, but Ryan's Toy Reviews had passed PewDiePie a while ago. Damn.

I don't know if that's still the case, but I knew even PewDie had made – he did a video about Ryan's Toy Reviews passing him. Really? I don't know if that's still the case, but I knew even PewDieHat made, he did a video about Ryan's toy reviews passing him. Really? I don't like that. It's just me hating on something I don't understand, I guess. Fucking toy reviews. Fuck you. Toy reviews, bro. Fuck you with your toy reviews.

That's stupid. But you know what YouTubers do? YouTube, of course, is trying to capture the youth. And so that's what they're going to promote. They're going to promote Ryan's toy reviews. That's too young. That's the audience they want trying to capture the youth. And so that's what they're going to promote. They're going to promote Ryan's Toy Review. That's too young. That's the audience they want. They want the kids.

I don't like that. What's T-Series? Do you know what that is? What was that? T-Series? I don't know. I'm just looking at old school vid stats X because they do a good job of showing who's getting, you know, who the top guys are. They're the top guy.

WWE is second right now. NetD Music. I don't know what that is. And then there goes Ryan. And then comes Ryan. And then comes PewDiePie. Then comes Justin Bieber. I wouldn't have expected him to be so high right now. He's still on the run. Baby.

He's still on the run. Does that say bum? It does. Little baby yeah little baby does that say bum it does little baby bum what is that i don't know that's your sir have we circled back to kevin spacey on the dark web katie perry get movies uh something in a different language taylor swift set india most of these guys i don't know and i thought um... It's Vivo stuff. It's their collection of all their music videos. And you know, that shit gets played over and over and over. I don't know how many times...

There's certain albums that I like to listen to or songs that I like to listen to when I'm playing games and stuff. I like Marty Robbins. I like that old-timey western shit. Especially if I'm playing a video game or something. A lot of them are about guns and like riding into town and shooting people which is what you're doing in fallout so like

i'll play that marty robbins album from beginning to end like twice like how many i'm giving him a ton of views i'm sure there's millions of people doing the exact same shit not with marty robbins but with just our artists in general yeah artists in general yeah i made a mistake i was looking at most viewed not most viewed over the last 30 days and ryan's tour reviews is up there the list has a lot of duplicates did you see i'm sorry to change the subject i don't know if we still got more did you see ronda rousey did she say anything i yeah, I did. I saw her with the Roddy Piper thing. I saw her with the Roddy Piper jacket on. Did she talk? Did I miss part of it?

I saw her do an interview with a WWE interviewer out there, and she talked about what she was doing and stuff. I think the rumor is that she and The Rock will be taking on Triple H and Vanessa McMahon. I think that's her that she and The Rock will be taking on Triple H and Vanessa McMahon. I think that's her name. Stephanie McMahon at the next big event. So I bet she's getting a ton of money. Nobody's bashing her mouth in.

There's no Brazilian badass that's going to beat her up. I'm sure she can take Stephanie McMahon if it comes to it. Everyone else is a model that's like a female wrestler. That's crazy. I don't know. I like that she was wearing Rowdy Roddy Piper's jacket. If you don't know who

he is, if you've ever seen the movie They Live, excellent movie starring Rowdy Roddy Piper. Very good movie. Very, I wish you could play clips. I want to play the bank scene where he walks in wearing the sun. Basically, the premise is that the planet has been taken over by aliens,

and they've just kind of slid in. They didn't do some sort of come down from the sky and nuke us from orbit kind of thing. They just slid in and they've got us all brainwashed and tricked into being their slaves. All the people who are in high society are actually aliens. You have to put on these special glasses to be able to

see who's an alien and who's not. Somebody gets Rowdy Roddy Piper the glasses and his eyes are open he looks at money and it's i don't remember exactly money says like this is your god that's what money really says when you look at it all the billboards say obey and stuff like that and everywhere he looks he sees that everyone's being brainwashed and they can't even see it and he walks into the bank he's got a fucking 12-gauge shotgun

and the sunglasses on. He looks around and there's just fucking aliens everywhere because, you know, it's the bank. And he's like, I have come here to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And everybody's like, what? Huh? And I'm all out of bubblegum. And he just starts blowing motherfuckers away with a 12-gauge.

It's a good movie. I like it. John Carpenter movie. So nice and violent. No happy ending to that shit either. It's a good movie. There's no happy ending. No happy ending. I need to see it again.

Yeah, it was a good movie. It was a good premise. And Kyle said it right, but quickly. All the high society right so all the millionaires all the all the people who you know drink with their pinky out those were the aliens and no one else knew and yeah yeah they just sort of slipped in there it was a cool idea it's it's not far from what alex jones has come up with you know what you gotta understand all you have to do is buy my neck-thickening salve,

and you too will be able to see the aliens who have taken over this country. Yeah, you know, the reptiles and the lizard people that he goes on about? Yes. Politics, politics. Politics has been interesting lately. Has anyone been following it?

I saw the train derailment. The literal one, not the not a metaphor that is the trump administration no i saw the literal train derailment uh with the republicans so that was interesting i tried to throw undeserved stones at trump but but uh like twofold is going on there on one hand the miller investigation is kind of heating up and, you know, we're getting some insight into where they're going on this and what they think, where the obstruction may or may not have happened. Like they're zeroing in and we're certainly towards the end of power are working to discredit the FBI and the CIA so that when they do come up with their findings, people are like, ah, you know, the FBI is clearly a leftist organization. We can't trust them any more than MSNBC. Interesting long-term implications.

Go on. But if you watch it as I aspire to, I'm not perfect, more of like observing people playing chess and not rooting for your favorite team or like getting into it, then it's really fun to watch the moves. They're playing a really high stakes game here. And like Filthy pointed out,

they're trying to discredit the FBI and the CIA, institutions that are historically very important to America. And they're doing that so that when they come up with something, they don't get tarnished by it. They're like, yeah, just the FBI coming out with findings that Trump met with the Russians and tried to get dirt on Hillary Clinton is no different than MSNBC coming out of it with the same information

that can be ignored. And it's, you know, and, and then he's firing people, not necessarily him, but there's been, there's some people look at this and they see it as a Saturday night massacre. If you don't know what got Nixon in a bunch of trouble is overnight, he just fired all the people who were kind of getting at him. Anyone who's investigating Nixon, you're fired. And they fired five or six people. Well, what Trump is doing, if he's doing it, looks much more clever in that it's a slow motion Saturday Night Massacre. It's been a year where he's just one after another after another

dropping off from positions of power who were not on his team. And by doing the Saturday Night Massacre in slow motion, it's a much more clever thing if you're watching him play chess than what Nixon did. And I don't know. It's been heating

up recently. So is he a buffoon or a chess master? Which ever fits the narrative best? I hear you. And I don't know. It's been heating up recently. So is he a buffoon or a chess master? Oh, that's the question. Which ever fits the narrative best? I hear you. I hear you. You know, or it almost ties back to the wings thing, right? Like, is he playing a very clever metagame, you know,

with all his rage and sympathy and pity and whatever? It seems a little different. Or, you know, is he just flying by the seat of his pants and it's like in the result is a very clever meta game but we don't know that he's doing it on purpose like that that describes both wings and trump perhaps and uh i've just been i've just been watching the show i consume it all i watch fox news and and their their side. Hannity did something very silly recently. What did they do? Someone help me here.

Did you watch it? Trump admitted something? Oh, Trump tried to fire Mueller. He tried to fire Mueller. And the guy who was actually right above him who would have the power to fire him said no i won't do it i would sooner resign than me doing it and they talked him out of it so hannity reports the story and says this isn't true this is a bunch of horse pucky uh forget about all of that it's fake news and then they like go to commercial break come back and he's

like well turns out that was true uh there's a car chase over here and then the car like crashes into something like look at the shiny thing and all the or all the news stations that weren't fox had a blast with him like totally defending it and denying it when it was in fact a true story and then saying all right it's true and flipping to a car chase which couldn't be more like shiny object look look away, and just watching it all play out. There is an amazing world politics story happening right now. And, you know, it's a slow motion thing. Maybe not a good show topic. I'm the only one talking.

But it's gigantic. It's enormous. It has ramifications that will exist long before this. This could become the new standard, you know, that every president is just going to be attacked by the other party and discredit longstanding institutions. And news is now going to be more pro and con and less down the middle than it's ever been. There's great things happening right now great as in make the magnificent also is positive just huge grande things going on right now and uh i i don't know i i feel it it's it's super fascinating to me i'll be kind of curious to see the end results of things like the you like the report you were just talking about coming out at the end of all this.

When all of the evidence is out there, is it going to make one bit of fucking difference for the outcome of what's going on? And I think that's, I mean, if I were forced to compliment Trump, which I really would prefer not to be forced to, I would be, I am very complimentary of his ability to just totally neuter all the regular checks and balances for dealing with this shit. He's immune. I've said this before, I think, on this show. He's immune to the backlash that everyone else would be in the same situations. And it's just incredible how that has done. I've been saying this for over a year now. More than a year since this has happened, since he's been elected, right?

Amazing. Is Stormy Daniels, is that her name? Or is it Daniel Storm? Stormy Daniels. You got it first time. Thank you. So what's been proven is that Trump took political dollars, started an LLC, and paid Stormy Daniels $130,000.

The theory is that this is hush money because she slept with him. Now, it's been talked about in the past. She told her friends. Her friends came on. This is a story from 2008 or something. But only recently, oh, and it was just before the election that he paid her and put her seemingly under a non-disclosure agreement. She went on Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Kimmel said something along the effect of, if you didn't have a non-disclosure agreement, you would tell us that. But if you do have one, then you can't say anything, right?

And she goes, Jimmy, you're so smart, right? So that, it's just true. It's just true. He paid her $130,000 so that she wouldn't talk about the fact that she had sex with him. That's just the deal. And any other president would have a huge backlash over this, right? And since the story came out, Melania Trump has moved out of the White House. She didn't walk into the State of the Union with him.

She didn't go to Davos with him. She canceled her plans. And there appears to be real marital stress in this thing. It may be that she's mad at him for the reason his first two wives got mad at him that's what it looks like but it's not a story there's no backlash right everyone just says ah trump fucks around you know like yeah you fuck around right you know and uh you know but any other president that not any jfk fucked around um but for Bill Clinton, this was a major story. It was a lie.

Well, that clearly hasn't been a major story here either. How many lies is he being caught in regularly? Trump is safe because he tells the truth so consistently. Inconsistently, yeah. So I don't know. And it's fascinating how teflon he has been over this whole thing right like he lied under oath that was the thing right it is that is what nailed him uh that that was where he broke a law he lied under oath but um you know i don't see them

interviewing trump about this thing like it's not become a story, right? Like, Trump hasn't been called to testify about what happened with the Monica Lewinsky thing, right? Why would he be? Well, okay, I said it funny, but, you know, under his Monica Lewinsky parallel. Right, no, I understood. I have. I linked it here. This is

a patent that was actually filed November 9th, 1965. This is G.B. Blonsky's e-tile. It's an apparatus for facilitating a child to

eject a womb. to eject a balloon. Now there's a wonderful diagram here. It is safe for work and you must look at it. Can I ask you to repeat what you said? I'm so sorry. I closed my browser so that my computer

would devote all its resources to all of its gerbil on a wheel resources, towards producing the show. And as I opened the browser, which takes like a minute, you were nothing but cracking. Crickety crackety.

Well, I'll start from the beginning. This is an actual US patent that was filed November 9th, 1965. This is G.B. Blonsky eTow. It's an apparatus for facilitating the birth of a child via centrifugal force. Or for the layman, by spinning a woman really

fucking fast to get her baby to come out. Now there's a diagram here. There's not a net. There is. It looks like a net. And what is at the bottom of the net it looks like about four dead rats like what this is test baby this look like it's about four dead rats in

that net i'd like to kind of know what that i mean are there is there associated there must be i mean these are all numbered kyle surely we have what these might be i don't have the attached part i would like to know what number 97 is let me go to the actual patent numbers 3 million 216 423 and i also i must compliment you very well on uh look the car crash that was well done so on what on look the car crash here we are looking at the car saying that you changed the topic from politics. But I think Kyle is doing it in the interest of the show, not to protect you. Yeah.

No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. I only like politics when it's something new. No, I don't think that was much going anywhere for us anyways. It wasn't hitting the spot today. But I agree. Oh, my God. Okay, I found the actual thing here.

Yeah. Figure 2 is a side elevation view of the apparatus. Oh, my God. So I'll the actual thing here. Yeah, figure two is a side elevation view of the apparatus. Oh my god, so I'll link you to it. Yeah, yeah, more links. Maybe a bit boring, but this is... Where did you find this, by the way? Reddit. Reddit.

Which particular Reddit forum was this? I honestly don't... I... ...window, and I can't go back to where I found it because I just continued on my hunt for interesting things but yeah this is pretty fascinating I think not only were there inventors who thought this was a good idea good enough to file for patent they had lawyers involved with this

and the lawyers believed in it enough apparently or believed in their checks enough, apparently, to sign on to this. Oh, my God. How fast would it spin? That's what I want to know. I'm scrolling through. There's acceleration Gs is equal to that caused by the body of the mother is firmly held in position against the movement as a whole under such force by the boot members 73 and 70. The thigh holder, figure 63 and 68.

The girdles, figure 61. The hand grips, figure 79. And the belts. Oh, my God. I found out what 97 is. I was just scrolling down. What is it? A thick wad of cotton to catch the baby softly.

You're shitting me. It's not a thick wad of cotton to catch the baby safely. The bottom or closed end of the net, 88, is lined with a thick wad of cotton, 97. When the fetus leaves the mother's vagina and lands in the cotton bed, 97, in the net, 83, its weight, as a result of the rotation of the machine, exerts a radial centripetal force at the bottom of the elastic net, 88. Oh my god.

Can you imagine your doctor pitching this to you? I'm going to definitely send her these. I think she would very much enjoy this. Maybe she'll like PKA. Will this be a notch in PKA's favor with her? My mother's not my wife. Oh, wait. I got confused. My mother's a midwife.

Oh, okay. I missed. That's what put her right out of business. Her people probably lobbied against this. She's like, where did you find that? How dare you under that again? Who put them under? They were trying to spin babies out of vaginas and put us completely out of business alex jones would love something like this this is the sort of thing that he would get on board

i think the first model didn't have the net and like this is mark two is there a mark two anywhere in this trial and error that is that is a yeah right after we after the first few babies exploded upon the the or wall we quickly decided that a cotton netting was required cotton wadding yes the cotton well initially it was a netting the netting territory fetuses uh before that we had we just had a puerto rican uh out Rican out there. They're quick on their feet, and he was trying to catch the fetus with his bare hands, and that also went by the by and by. It didn't work.

It didn't work. I've never looked at this website before, the patent website. Are these referenced by? Are these other patents that have used this patent? I think I'm not on the page now, but I think some of the references were referring to other patents that they had borrowed from. Sure, the terminology wouldn't then be referenced by.

Because referenced by is the next round of that, not the previous. Oh my god, I hope there aren't. Somewhere in the world this is being used, isn't it? Someone slinging babies out of women. I'm just looking at one that's November 17th, 2014. That this is, that has referenced that previous one. And now I'm very curious. This could be quite the, I can see you getting lost down this, this rabbit hole. Man, I want to get, let's get Taylor this bumper sticker.

What does it say? It says, my girlfriend's husband fights for your freedom poor taylor have we had an update on how he's doing um no i got nothing i'm sure i'm got nothing too bad Oh, man. Yeah, that's... If you were asking them about Reddit, what you can find on Reddit, now you know.

I see a little bit of everything, right? Yeah, if that doesn't convince you to sign up, I mean, I don't know if we're going to get a much better advert for Reddit. No matter what your interest is. Like I mentioned mentioned the porn thing is just off the fucking rails like like any kind of like like if you like if you like big ass asians asian girls that's um that's p a a g fat ass asian girls fat with a p p pog um uh there's um fat ass white girls. Fat with a P. P, pog.

Fat ass white girls. Don't mix those up. That's pog. Pag and pog are two different things. Pag is Asians. Pog is whites. You're absolutely right. I also like the fat ass white girl subreddit.

And then there's all kinds of like niche stuff pretty sure there's reddits with with animals fucking girls but that's could be i wouldn't doubt it um here i'll find it subreddit you can't be a hate subreddit and you can't be a um jailbait type subreddit all the admins have banned some of the bestie Alley subreddits October 26th, 2017. You just missed it. You just missed it. It was the West a few months back. Damn it, Dan. You were so close.

So close, I was right there. There is a Beastie Alley story subreddit called Beast Tales and they really missed out on the pun and spelled Tales T-A-L-E-S. That's a mistake. Here's a nice list.

Subreddits that somehow aren't banned. There are hundreds of subreddits that are racist in tone and content. Many use the N-word in their titles or draw comparisons between black people and apes. One discusses the riots in Ferguson, I'm not... One discusses the riots in Ferguson, which it

describes as, quote, chimp out 2014. Not funny. Bestiality. Various subreddits discuss sex with animals. While the majority of these are fantasies, drawings, or artwork, there are videos of people engaging in sex with animals or describing their personal experiences.

Zoophilia is a felony in most of the U.S. Keep it on the down-and-go voice. I'd be disappointed if there was no such subreddit. Animal abuse! On the opposite end of the spectrum, a subreddit exists where users share images of injured or dead animals, not to raise awareness, but as a joke. And then they add their own pithy headlines.

Creepshots. Reddit got into trouble in 2012 over our creepshots, a subreddit where users shared sexualized pictures of women they had secretly taken. While the subreddit and similar ones were taken down, clones of them still exist. Where are they? What are they called? There's so many. All sorts of misogyny.

If it's misogynistic, it will eventually find itself on Reddit. Wow, this is a bit one-sided over on Indie100.com. For instance, there are separate subreddits dedicated to killing, beating, and raping women, whatever you're into. While the subreddit rbeatingwomen is banned, a clone page is still active. In some cases, there are either fantasies or simply users sharing

porn videos of consenting adult performers, but some of the content goes beyond the pale, or links to subreddits about... Dead women! Jesus, a subredditits about dot dot dot um dead women jesus a subreddit exists where users share pictures of dead bodies almost all of them women described in sexualized terms such as quote morgue babies no morgue babes quote fit young thing uh there's no pun there uh gorgeous brazilian girl with bullet wounds. That's another quote.

Dead children. This is another subreddit. It may seem incomprehensible and upsetting for people not familiar with Reddit. Wow, this is really anti-Reddit, this article. But some subreddits do actually share images of child victims. One features victims of conflict

in areas such as Syria and the Gaza with small children covered in bruises and stitches. Users often attempt to add humor to the images. A girl with her face smashed apart has the headline, Not Going to Disneyland. Another subreddit shares images of children who have been hideously burned. All the images have been added by just one Redditor. That's funny. See, now that's funny.

There is also a subreddit featuring aborted fetuses presented alongside sexualized language there isn't much more we can say asking like what's on reddit is a lot like asking what's on youtube you know are there any people making really because all the examples you said have been highly sexual and explicit okay you have these are interests you asked me oh no no my point was if you're gonna you can't just compare directly to youtube i take your point about it being a diverse set of content but but clearly with a little bit less filters perfect yeah that's right that's right but there's if you're into something and it's not sexual or violent, it's probably on YouTube.

Everything's on YouTube. All of the things. All of the things you could possibly imagine. Of course there's scary evil stuff like beating women and there's misogynistic racist stuff. It's humanity. It's boiled down humanity.

All of the good, the bad, and the ugly put into their little groups. If you were to make a new YouTube channel, what would you make? Makeup. Makeup girl. I would become a makeup girl. Go full trans. Really? But you don't like that.

I'm so edgy. Who cares if I like it? I like money. Are you kidding me? It's hard to be successful without passion revlon money no i'm passionate about money i guess about money passionate about uh about getting hot chicks to come over for me to apply my makeup to them that would be my little bit i could do i could probably just do a makeup channel where i got hot chicks to come over

i i would go you know i'll do some do some six-month course on cosmetology. Then I give girls makeup and then I sell the shit. Write that one down, Chiz. Write that one down. He didn't. Hey, fellas, if YouTube never existed,

what would you be doing today? I'd be some sort of senior architect at Cisco. I'd be hiding in the bushes side of some lady's house. That actually sounds about right. I was waiting to see if there was a punchline or not.

No. There was no punchline to that. That's what he'd be doing. Just darkness. What about you guys? I'd be in car sales. That's what I was doing. I really enjoyed car sales. I loved it a lot. I made

good money. I probably kept going and went into management doing that because those guys made sick money. People don't know what our manager would always say in sales meetings he's like do you know what the number one best paid you know job is in in the world it's not doctor it's not lawyer it's salesman and statistically that's true you know and and depending on what you sell if you're selling nikes at the mall probably not doing great but if you're if you're selling mercedes benzes or if you're selling boats or if you're selling Mercedes Benzes or if you're selling boats

or something like that, or if you're very good at selling real estate. Software, copy machines, anything expensive. Yeah. And there's no overhead. You go into a dealership, you sit down at your desk. If you're personable, charismatic,

and you know how to work your leads and you're good at all the things that make a good salesman, you can really make a shitload of money. And if you're smart enough to go beyond – there were some guys who were just really charismatic, but they didn't have any book smarts. They weren't going to be able to really get organized enough to manage a team of salesmen. The guys who were managers were really making tons of money my general manager was making a quarter million dollars a month you know it's it's when you were saying they made good money i was thinking a quarter million a year oh no oh no like like like the like the not even the best salesman made that, you just said a lot of salesmen didn't make jack, though, right?

Like there are people who are bad at it. A lot of them, we'd see them come in. We'd be like, oh, he's not going to last. He's not going to last. The turnover rate, insane. I watched so many people come and go in that dealership over the course of two and a half years or whatever. So many people. Yeah, lots of people make nothing. And they're forced to pay you minimum wage but they call

that going in the bucket because they don't actually pay you minimum wage they loan you minimum wage so they're paying you whatever 650 an hour or whatever i don't even know what it is and and let's say you work the first two weeks don't sell a car and they've paid out whatever let's just say it's 800 over the last two weeks of you working by the hours. Then you sell a car and you make an $800 commission. That nets to zero because they get that money back. If you're not selling cars, you're not making shit. But if you're selling a lot of cars, you're making tens of thousands of dollars a month.

selling a lot of cars, you're making tens of thousands of dollars a month. And the difference between making $8,000 a month and making $15,000 a month isn't doubling your car sales. It's maybe adding 20% to your car sales because you start hitting bonuses and they grandfather back on the sales you made initially, the percentage of the gross you get per car. So like if you sell 10 cars, you might only be getting like a 20% commission. But If you sell 10 cars, you might only be getting a 20% commission. If you sell 20 cars, you might be getting a 35% commission. That goes back on those first 10 cars that you sold.

How long did you sell cars? A little over two years in Atlanta. That's enough. I was going to ask about the months. December, for example, sucks, right? I'm told for example, sucks, right? I'm told. There were months that were really poor.

Yeah, I don't remember ever doing really badly, except when my girlfriend broke up with me, I went into a sad time. I didn't sell any cars then. But during the summer was definitely the best time. And I was selling cars right around when the economy was doing really shitty in Atlanta. Gasoline was $4. Katrina happened right then.

Gasoline was like $4 or $5 a gallon at one point in Atlanta. Those were all bad things for car sales. But yeah, there's definitely parts of the year where you don't sell very many cars and you've got to be working old leads. If you saw somebody in the summer that was talking about buying a car, but they needed to get their credit union in line, or they needed to save up a little bit more for that down payment, or they needed to work on their credit rating, you got to be working those old leads. You got to be really hitting the pavement to get your sales in. I was going to ask the time to buy, but I already know it, and I don't like the answer.

I'm told the time to buy is right before the next model comes out. And it's like, well, fuck, you want the next model, right? Of course it's the time to buy. Who wants to buy then? It depends what you want, right? If something just has come out and it's hot like uh like when the new mustangs came out like they wouldn't really depreciate those much they wouldn't certainly want to lose any money but if you're buying an f-150 like you're fine you can

still get a great deal on one they're still going to discount it you know like especially big stores have lots of volume uh go to a go to a major city where they've got, you know, a 10-acre lot or something like that. We had 15 acres of cars, you know. We rode golf carts around to get around the place. They'll discount cars to make deals. The end of the month really should get the job done. And I'm not going to go into that whole spiel about why that's good to do. But just trust me, end of the month is the time to do it.

They're trying to hit bonuses from management to upper management to salesman. Everybody's trying to hit another bonus to squeeze cars out. Funny enough, I was on the opposite side of that spectrum there, Kyle. I was working for CarMax as a buyer. So I was the guy that you would see when you would want to trade your vehicles in and I would go out out and do the appraisal and then, you know, send you off with a check if that's what you want to do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We, uh, that's pretty cool. I was working for an auto donation store, so it was a big corporate thing. You didn't have like, I don't know, one owner to deal with or anything like that. I feel like that would be frustrating if, if, if it's like big Bob's car lot

and like big bob is the the showstopper you know it was it was a corporate store and we were the corporate headquarters and uh yeah that was really fun and you know working in that car dealership it was bizarre that like there were like two three white guys in the whole place and uh everybody there was was from somewhere you know nobody was from there uh from atlanta everybody was from um. Nobody was from there. From Atlanta. Everybody was from Nigeria, Ghana, Mexico, Russia,

Ukraine, Japan, Australia, Mexico City, just everywhere. It was Fiji. I almost got in a fight with a guy from Fiji one day because he couldn't take a fucking joke. His name was Mitty Mitty. I pranked him and called Mitty. Everybody in the stores got connected phone lines, of course.

You could just press 5 and get somebody's desk. I know Mitty's desk number. And he's new. His English is good, but he's got a strong accent. If you've never seen someone from Fiji, they're Asian. I call Mitty's phone, I'm like, I do a real effeminate gay voice, which probably isn't. I tell him, hey, I'm going to come in and buy a car. Every time I buy a car, I ask for a little token from my salesman. Last time I got his tie, one time before I got the guy's shoe. I ask for

something to remember the salesman i was wondering i'm ready to come in and buy today could i want this f-150 i'm sure you have it i've been driving by every day and looking at it it's the one for me could i have your underwear though and he's like we're watching him like i got a whole crew around my desk like all my friends and we're watching him across the sales room he's like yes yes you could have my underwear but do you wear boxers or briefs well i'm on the way get your get those underwear off i want them when i get there dude goes to the bathroom takes his underwear off and when he comes out we start laughing at him hey come on it's a 45 year old man and i'm a 19 year old kid and he could not take the joke and he punched me in the

stomach and i shoved him and we almost got in a big fight there in the middle of fucking showroom he hit me with like a bruce lee punch though it was funny he was like the punch came from low and he kind of like did a thing with his left arm, too. It was worth doing. Just for him to hit me like that, I thought it was funny. Those were good times. Bam. That's what it's all about.

Hey, Woody. Yeah. If one of your viewers had to spend a day with you, what could they expect? A day with Woody. What does that look like? Jesus. You know, let's see. I might lift.

I might fly. I might spend some time in the shop. I might ride my motorcycle. Usually there's some sort of home improvement thing cooking, a minor thing to do, and there'd probably be way too much Reddit. That's my day. Come on, you're not going to take them for a flight? Man, what are they here to take them to McDonald's or nothing?

They hungry and everything. Oh, I was on an air... I thought it was like, what do I do? Not so much, what would I do with them? Yeah, boy, you got a viewer with you. Fuck, I think they'd want to mow. I think I've talked enough about mowing that we'd put them on one of our fucking productivity

golf carts and buzz them around the yard. I bet they'd like it. There's no pushing. It's like a go-kart. It's fun. It may do that. Get out there and mow something. How about you, Kyle? If someone were coming over to like get the Kyle experience,

um, you know, we, we go do some shit. We'd probably go play some airsoft out here in Atlanta. I really, I really like that. Uh,

we, we probably go, uh, go, go watch some movies, get some drinks or something like that. Um, I,

I like playing video games. So if, but if they, if they're not into that, then nobody wants to fucking play video games if they're not into video games but yeah it'd be something like that I'd take them on some kind of an airsoft adventure

or something like that last time I did that it was really fucking fun there was like an indoor arena and there's like smoke and like strobe lights and it felt like you were in a sci-fi movie or something running around through buildings and shit I don't know it

would depend on the person it would depend on the person what they were into because you know i'd want to make the uh the experience kind of uh custom uh fitted to them if it's you know if they're a wheelchair or something we're probably not going to go play airsoft all right this this was fall through you guys now i'm gonna give you items. You just let me know the one that you can live without. Alright? Cell phone, the internet, or money. Fuck.

This is something you've got to live without? Something that you have to live without. It'd have to be the phone. Yeah, the phone. All three of them on the phone? Yeah. The phone is the internet, right? That's the, so really.

There's so many other ways. You can have a tablet. Right, right. That's what I'm getting. You can have a fucking laptop. All the phone is, is a different internet consumption device for me. Oh, I see.

The calling aspect of it is a very small piece of what my phone is for. So taking away the internet, I assume that's, you know, all the things. That's taking away the internet and the phone almost. And then the other thing was money. Well, shucks. Yeah.

No. I use that all the time. How are you going to pay your phone, Phil? So it would have to be the phone. It won't be none of that. Yeah, man. I had to get rid of that phone. I don't call anybody ever.

I actually get mad when people call me. My real estate agent called me today, and I was like, no. No, this is important too. I'm not dealing with this. I got a call from a paraphrase today, or I thought it was. Turned out not to be. And it's like, what? You didn't text first to see if I wanted to be called?

That's rude. Send that guy a voicemail. I don't deal with that shit. Yeah. Oh, I don't even have voicemail. I don't do that shit. Yeah. Oh, I don't even have voicemail. I don't use that either. You send me a text message. Even my dad.

My dad's 60-something years old, 64 or 65 or something. He has figured text messaging out. He doesn't even call me anymore. What he used to do, I actually liked it a little bit. He'd record quick voice memos and send me a voice memo, which is actually kind of convenient if you're driving and someone's texting you.

You've got to be reading a paragraph, whereas he'd send a voice memo, and you just hit play. He's like, Kyle, I'll see you later today. I'm going to have to go to town and get some parts for this truck, but I'll be back around here about noon. You can see me then.

Wow, shit, I got all that information really quickly. It's funny how you hate voicemail, but you're okay with voice memos. Because there's a barrier to getting to the voicemail. I have to press an extra button, whereas this is within my text screen. He texts me the voice memo, and I just click play,

and there's no delay. There's no buffering. It's just boom, right to the information that I need. And he's not telling me a story. He's getting right to the point, telling me what's going on. I didn't mind that too much, but he's learned to text since then very well, and so it's no longer an issue. Once he started dating, once he started getting on all those dating apps, I thought I learned it.

Once he started dating, once he started getting on all those dating apps, he quickly learned to fucking text the shit out of that thing. He showed me a picture of this chick. He gets hit up by a lot of ladies. And this one girl, she was, I think, 52. And she hit him up, and he was like, oh, look at this one. She looks like the Joker. She looked like Jack Nicholson from Batman.

Her smile went almost to her ears. We were laughing so hard making fun of this lady. I pulled up a picture of Jack Nicholson from the Joker in his phone. We were like, look at this. She does look like the Joker. It's a fucking Joker. It's fun to see his dating accounts because he's on dating apps I've never even heard of. He's got like eight or ten of them, and he pays for them.

He doesn't care. He's like, yeah, just put my debit card in there. I'm just like, I used to sign him up for all of them because he couldn't figure out how to do it or whatever. So I'm over there signing him up for all these dating sites. I'm like, you were born in 1953 or 52? He's like, I think in 59. I'm like,

alright. Give me a little buffer there. Oh, man. I hate it. That sounds pretty cool, man. Gentlemen, you are on death row. What is your final meal? Oh, man.

Something with carbs. I really like maybe lots of nutmeg. Chiz, didn't you say you get high from nutmeg? Get really fucked up. No, it was Taylor. Taylor, maybe I just want a nutmeg pie, and I want to eat the whole thing and get wasted. And kill you before the negative part comes.

Ah, you all fucked up from, I'm on that nutmeg, motherfucker. I'm on that nutmeg shit. Don't you remember they felt terrible for the whole weekend? That's what I'm getting at. You want to. Don't you remember they felt terrible for the whole weekend? That's what I'm getting at. You want to do this. I don't know much about nutmeg highs, but it seems like if a little makes you sick,

a lot would make you sicker. I would want a filet mignon and really good French fries with ketchup. I think that's probably one of my favorite things. You know, if I could go crazy and like get some crazy meal, there'd also be like a shrimp cocktail in there. I really like that. I like crab cakes, but baked potato, stuff like that. But filet mignon and French fries are like comfort food.

Those are my favorite things i love that shit we got a lot of overlap i'm going surf and turf filet mignon filet mignon lobster and a baked potato and you know what throw some green beans in there too i like a veggie you okay with too much salt maybe i maybe i just want a gigantic bowl of refried beans so when they put me in the electric chair, I just shit every time. Right? And I got to deal with that. That's so much gas, the whole place explodes.

They put me in the gas chamber, and I'm just like, oh, we're all getting a little bit of this. I'm just fucking crazy. So I'm getting woozy in here. We haven't started yet that's all kyle that's pretty cool oh my man you you didn't answer that question what would you take on death row i don't know i was just thinking about two ways right first way is you know i think well i'd probably go for my favorites i go for the food that i really like and and then the second part of me just thinks that that situation like this is literally the last thing you're gonna

it's got to be a pretty fucking shitty moment in your life it feels like you know maybe you could be thinking about a revenging revenge on the guards here with shitting on them or something but it feels like to me i'm probably not going to be in the mood for really enjoying food at all thinking about it you know i'm about to die i'm probably not i'm probably not real interested in spending a large portion of my life figuring out what the hell i want to eat right now so i don't know i could go either way i could certainly see the like the really good food for me i you know i'm a bit of a foodie i go out with my wife a lot for this stuff i mean i'd like some i don't really have one thing i like i like to do a lot of eclectic food i like a lot of tapas style stuff that type of thing so like i

could see that being pretty cool but man i can't imagine like enjoying like pouring through a tapas menu while i'm on death row about to die so i don't know i don't really know yeah i go out on an empty stomach like a triple og i'm good i don't want shit we have a professional eater and like where are you going with your last meal dame oh it was funny i was just talking about not too long ago. I have a whole entire super list of foods that would actually have to be delivered to me. To prolong your life with this list. It'd be crazy, man. I want the ribs.

I want fried chicken and grilled chicken. I want baked chicken and collard greens. I want baked macaroni and cheese. Don't bring me no regular cheesy macaroni and cheese. You know what I'm talking about, Kyle, with that little crust over it. On the edges, it's chewy. Yeah, you got to scrape it

off the sides. It's chewy as fuck. Lots of cheese in there. I like the big, crazy egg noodles in there. I don't want them little macaronis in there. Yeah, man. I want collard greens, candied yams. I want cornbread. I want the cornbread to taste like pound cake almost. And it's dark on the underneath side because they don't bake the right way but with the butter crust the top so you got

a little bit of drake complexion we're different on the cornbread though i don't like i like the southern cornbread i like i like it salty not sweet i gotta cook the shit out of some cornbread i i get that fucking i preheat the uh the uh the cast iron skillet get the oil in there till it's fucking bubbling, and then I sprinkle some cornmeal on there before. I sprinkle dry cornmeal onto the boiling oil,

and then I pour the cornmeal on top, like the mixed cornmeal, and it gives this crazy crust on top. I love that shit. I fucking love cornbread. How do last meals actually go, though? Because we're laying out some pretty five-star stuff.

I picture Dan putting all that, I'm sure I'm slaughtering your name – putting all that out there, and then they're like, you know, no. Here's a menu from Five Guys. Oh, shit. Dude, Five Guys wouldn't be that bad. Anything the cafeteria makes. Yeah, right?

Yeah, pretty much. You can get some toast, buddy. Thanks. I like that you thought about this, Dan. That's pretty awesome. Oh, I always do. You lit up. You're like, I know exactly what the fuck I want. I get that you thought about this, Dan. That's pretty awesome. You lit up. You're like, I know exactly what the fuck I want.

I get excited over food. It's crazy. Five guys wouldn't be bad at all. If they told me they'd hook me up with five guys, I'd be like, well, shit. Give me that fucking big bacon cheeseburger with mustard, mayo, lettuce, tomato, jalapenos, and extra cheese

on that thing. Yeah, do the extra cheese pay a dollar i don't care it's your dollar i want a large cajun fry i want a large sprite or coke and uh and yeah that'll do that's 2250 calories i know it's crazy cow i have to have hood eggnog like if i'm on death row i want hood eggnog it's actually a brand called have Hood eggnog. If I'm on death row, I want Hood eggnog. It's actually a brand called Hood. Best eggnog ever. I like eggnog. Golden eggnog.

Really? Oh, shit. I'm familiar with that brand. They make creamer and stuff, I think, too, maybe. Yep, you're right. Alright, I'm going to get some of this. I search it. Here's a picture of you holding it, I think, too, maybe. Yep, you're right. Like for coffee. All right, I'm going to get some of this. Oh, yeah. I search it.

Here's a picture of you holding it, I think. Yeah, yeah. I felt like I was going to be the biggest racist ever. I was like, that is him, isn't it? That's not just a black man holding eggnog. I'm going to be a real scumbag if it is. But no, it's you. It's probably me.

It's probably me, bro. Yeah, that's great. I thought I just stuck a big racist foot in my mouth for a second. Damn. That's you. You ready for this, Kyle? You know how old that video is? I'm going to guess seven years.

Bro, that video dropped before my five guys videos we're we're talking she's like 2000 i want to say 2009 2008 2008 2009 yeah you're right yeah yeah yeah damn bro i like eggnog a lot uh i don't i've never put alcohol in it i know that's kind of a thing but like i just like it you know yeah i can't drink a ton of it though like i'll drink like two glasses and then then i'm kind of done like i i don't think i've ever finished a whole like gallon of eggnog but i like that you know what it is man you just got to make that happen give yourself a half gallon right you're sitting there and you're in your pajama jeans with the leather ron and the bro, and you're taking that half gallon to the head, you're going to love it. I had three dinners tonight. I ordered

my first dinner. I got a chicken wrap, some french fries, and a grilled chicken spinach salad, and then left my french fries out. I was very disappointed. I called back, and I was like, give me that bacon cheeseburger. It comes with fries. You can't fuck that up. Give me an order of cheese fries, and I was like, give me that bacon cheeseburger. It comes with a fry, so you can't fuck that up.

Give me an order of cheese fries and give me some cake. They still left the fries out, though. So I ordered a third dinner, and I told them, I was like, you left my fries out the last two times. I only got one of my orders of fries, and I've ordered a total of three. But I ordered fries this time, so they sent me a huge platter of fries and I've ordered a total of three. But I ordered fries this time. So they sent me a huge platter of fries. And every time I've been leaving the room, I've been eating the fuck out of those fries because they're

cold now. I don't care. I'm about to go eat them in a second. And I've still got my red velvet cake. I'm going to get into that as soon as the show's over. What do you know about that red velvet cake? That red velvet cake is serious. We were talking a while back like you were talking a while back. You were talking about this.

Keep your phone or internet or money. Food or pussy. To me, these are the pillars of life itself. Would you rather lose your tongue or lose your dick? I guess is how you boil that down, right? Lose the ability to taste or lose the ability to get an erection. Fuck. That's hard. Really hard.

So now all food is just going to taste like nothing. Nothing, right. It won't be salty. It won't be sweet. It'll just be like eating the most bland, flavorless gruel oatmeal ever. And any soda, any beverage, any beer, any beer alcohol juice eggnog is going to taste like just thick thicker water it's going to be flat it's going to be tasteless it's going to be nothing to it and come on you can't make this you can't make this even evil or you tell me i can't

get drunk anymore either like i've lost alcohol you just won't taste it taste it okay yeah oh you're going to become an alcoholic no matter what. No matter which one of these you choose, it leads to alcoholism. And depression. A lot of depression. Oh, yeah. Are you going to answer this? I'm curious. I think this is a question worth answering. If it's a loss of a tongue or a dick, I'm going with the tongue. I'm going to take the L on the tongue.

Damn. Now, here's why I would lose the dick. I only fuck a maximum of like seven, eight times a week. All right? Like every day plus twice a day some days. This is a great week. All kids look only lol well you know there's some weeks where i only get laid two or three times okay i'm just saying i went to my maximum you know seven or eight times a week i eat two or three or four times a day there's snacks

in between i love soda like like like i've got all kinds of soda in there. I like Diet Pepsi a lot. I know it's like a diet drink, but I love this shit. I grew up on this. I like the bite it has. I like the flavor. I kill these things all fucking day. There's a junkyard of these laying around.

I could smelt down the amount of aluminum that I create in a week and create an AR-15 receiver on my own. I love food and beverages. I would lose the dick. I would lose the because i figured we're losing test buds right not tongue itself still talk correct right your tongue is still a good head sex comparison got it yeah your tongue doesn't work and it's on like a uh a um a brain wiring level of not working. Like your tongue doesn't work. Imagine it's going to be like if you took a hot iron and burnt your tongue to the point where it's just the nerve endings are scorched off.

It doesn't work. We're not actually going to do that. Right. But that's what your tongue is going to operate like. Now, I figure I get my industrial farm grade electro-rectal ejaculator out, I could still have an orgasm every now and then, right? I could just tase my prostate, get off that way,

then go eat some marshmallows. So you are trying to game the system here. No, no, no. I think you're going straight with me. I mean, how hard are we gaming the system if we're sticking a bovine electro-rectal ejaculator up our ass every time we want to get off, right? That would be one of those times where you're like, I'm really horny. And then you look over in the corner at that big, long aluminum rod hooked up to the car battery.

You're like, not that horny. Not today. Not today. Then you look at that bucket of Crisco you got up there. You're like, all right, here we go. Kyle, were you part of the menu to put your order in from the boring company for the flamethrower? I've got so much better flamethrowers than that.

I've got two flamethrowers. I've got, I think it's an XM42 and an X56. I've got a handheld one that shoots twice as far as that big, oversized lighter Elon Musk is selling. And I've got a backpack one that's like something you'd have in fucking Vietnam that shoots like,

I don't know, 50, 60 feet of napalm, diesel, or gasoline. I saw that video of yours on YouTube. I saw that video. I think he's selling his cool, I guess. I get get it. I get the cool factor and it's Elon Musk. Everything he touches is going to be cool and trendy. And it's great that he made all that money. Who doesn't like money? But I had the idea to start a flamethrower company many years ago. We just didn't pull the trigger on it because of liability issues. I always, I was like,

we'll call it Georgia Thermal Solutions. It's hilarious. And I've got this friend named Jeremy, who's a bit retarded. And I was like, Jeremy, you want to be the CEO of a company just on paper? Sure, whatever. I'll be the CEO of a company. Yeah, I'm the boss man. And we always figured we'd make him the CEO of Georgia Thermal Solutions. That way, if anybody ever exploded or incinerated a classroom they'd have they'd go after old jeremy and he'd be the one liable so but uh but never pulled the trigger on that uh so to speak but uh but yeah i've got a couple of flamethrowers i got and uh they're much better than the on box this is cool and all but like if you're actually looking at

you'd like a huge garage somewhere that's just like all like it both of them in our storage unit right now my flammy my flammy wolfers they were flammy uh i i asked my dad if he wanted because i just moved to atlanta so so uh i asked my dad i was like hey you want to hang on these flamethrowers for me he's like oh i don't even like it when you use those things that looks dangerous as hell like he's he's so scared of the flamethrowers because he's watched so much of the old history channel where you see like the guys running into battle and then their tank gets popped and they just incinerate and boil alive and a fiery ball of doom and death it doesn't look fun to burn alive that's that's that's got me that's that's one of my biggest fears is burning alive. And I've been in a lot of

situations where I could have burned alive. I always told them, like, you know, if this flamethrower explodes and I'm fully engulfed, somebody shoot me in the head. Just shoot me. And then put the gun in my hand. Tell them I did it. Tell them I did it. Tell them I was burning and I shot myself. It'll be cool, right? And everybody's like, one of the guys, a little too enthusiastic, was like, oh, yeah, I got you. I got you. I was like, well, you can put a gun back in your holster.

Like, give it a minute, right? But, yeah, you don't want to get burned alive. And you certainly don't want to get almost. The only thing worse than getting burned alive want to get burned alive. And you certainly don't want to get almost... The only thing worse than getting burned alive is getting almost burned alive. Because then you're just Freddy Krueger. You're not getting any pussy, and you can't taste food.

See, this comes full circle. Neither thing works. Woody, either your dick stops working completely, or your tongue is scorched. Your tongue stops working. You cannot taste a thing. taste a thing all right you're fucking with him not quite that he's asking do you want to give up sexual gratification you want to give up enjoyment of food enjoyment of taste is what he's asking because you still get your mouth you still talk still eat things yeah that's where i thought it was headed you know do you want to work a dick or a working mouth it's like well i guess mouth uh but no food taste no taste enjoyment of food or enjoyment of sex

which you know i guess i'd rather lose enjoyment of food it could almost be a positive to me like i you know like i sexy woody would emerge right sexy well i'd be fucking ripped if i didn't even like eating if eating was just an occasional thing i trudged through because i needed sustenance to maintain life then i would look like brad pitt but older this is bullshit i'm just saying i'm on their side too for the same reasons i I'm the only one who keeps my tongue. Everybody else is going to...

You're going to go have sex and you're going to be like, oh, that was great. Oh, wait. Now what? Now what is life all about? Oh, shit. Oh, it wasn't that good.

It wasn't that good. You'd have sex and you'd be like, yeah, baby, if snowballing turns you on, I don't care. It's nothing to me. You're a bastard. You have to close out all the gross windows. Oh, God, I can't even look at what I was just jerking off. I'm totally unfamiliar with that, Kyle. It's a kind of regret for losing your taste.

You're like, oh, that was like three minutes pleasure there if I lost my sense of taste well I guess that I don't know a hypothetical single woody though would get so much pussy they'd make up for it oh no man I I would totally give we we kind of it's you're definitely it's a lose It's a net loss either way It's not making up for it one way or the other You're definitely losing a portion of your life But I think I'm very much on Woody's side And Dame's side on this

It's something you can do without And it has tangible benefits to doing without So sex, imagine this Now you have no interest in sex There's no reason That's not what you said You said we no longer enjoy it Stick with meal stick with me here i'm gonna flesh this out exactly name exactly your dick doesn't work anymore so there's no reason to be spending money on women

there's no reason to have a have a date there's no reason you can't have children there's no reason to have a wife now you you're your income just doubled basically right now talking to a happily married man i I like my wife. I have a really good time with my wife above and beyond just sex. Also, I think that – I think this is true in a lot of cases. Being married is good for your career. Jesus, that's a good question. Explaining again.

No, I think that there are a lot of guys who become more driven, more motivated, more successful in their career because they're pulling a train. You know, that if they were just to be, I don't know, happy-go-lucky, that's what I'm looking for, and not have responsibilities at home, then they might carry less responsibility at work. That's good. I think that... work i think that it's like a happier life less responsibility more freedom no worrying about sex you wouldn't have more money yet you you would need less money it's true but you'd have less money higher quality oh you were like all right you're like if you got rid of food and i had an orgasm what would i do with my life that's so not how i think about like i know clearly you're like all right you're like if you got rid of food and i had an orgasm what would i do with my life that's so not how i think about like i know clearly you're exaggerating for comedic benefit sure but like there's so many other fun things you do at least i do in my life

like but you're gonna blows my mind that's like that's like you're like you want to sell that as like a sweetening point that now like two favorite things that's why i brought them up these are these are the two pillars of my life there's the sex and there's the food, right? This is what holds this teeter-totter up. Even you can only be doing that for a minuscule portion of your life. I mean, I don't know how many hours a day you're devoting to either of those. What proportion of that is your life? Any moment of time that isn't spent either eating or fucking is spent planning the next time i eat

or fuck yeah yeah i i think he's i can imagine that yes that i mean yeah i i'm passionate about things that i don't get to do all the time but i can spend all my time thinking about them yes yes now now i have hobbies i enjoy i enjoy movies and TV shows much more than most people do. I like – I'm fascinated with the production of them, with the trade of acting. I like watching good, strong, amazing performances and watching people emote. I'm really into movies and stuff, but I give up movies in a heartbeat before I give up my tongue or my cock, right? Or the use of them, however you want to phrase it. These are the two most important things to any man. They have to be.

They have to be. So money's not one of the most important things to a man? Money is, this is like Game of Thrones. This is like that Game of Thrones part where they're up on the wall and he's talking about the army with no cocks. He's like, well, maybe they fight for gold. What do you think soldiers do with all that gold? Right?

The goal is to buy pussy and food. Right. Well, you can buy other stuff too, like yachts and hobbies. But the yachts are for the pussy too. Nobody actually enjoys going for a cruise out there or you'd rent one. The yacht is about getting some bitches on that yacht. You ever see Leonardo DiCaprio on his yacht alone? No.

Not once. Not once. If he really liked yachts so much, he'd be out on that thing by himself enjoying it with a captain hat on. He's going, yar. No. He's out there with another motherfucker driving that bitch. He's out on the deck with a bunch of hot ass chicks that he's gonna fuck.

And then he's going below and his chef's gonna cook him some food. He's a little chubby himself, right? That man subscribes to the Church of Kyle. Pussy and food. He does. He's one of the... He's a follower.

He's one of your parishioners? Am I using that word right? The disciple. Or maybe I'm one of his. I'm more one of his disciples, I suppose, since he's the... You should give yourself more credit, Kyle. I don't see him talking about his church. That is true.

So they've been photoshopping me onto the face of Jesus Christ, and my disciples who follow me are each PKA guest who has signed on to my idea of not marrying or having a very serious long-term relationship. And we call it the Church of Kyle. Filthy. In this world, we are heretics. Scum. I mean, I think everyone who's watched this podcast knows that yeah jew is the word you're looking for

yeah you're the one persecuting me trying to no no no no i think i'm pretty sure woody was saying we as in woody and i are yeah in your world heretics yes you are Jesus Christ. You are the Lord and Savior and the top guy. We, on the other hand, are like... We're not members. We're not members. We're troublemakers who are cast aside. Have you seen the passion of Jesus Christ? You're the Jews. I haven't. Trust me.

I need to. Have you seen Mel Gibson's passion? No, I haven't seen it either. I haven't noticed others do that. Alright, fuck off then. That's the Church't noticed that it's a all right fuck off then that's the church of kyle that's a fabulous image i've got i've got taylor i've got ice poseidon i've got arian i got boogie they're all they're all members they're all disciples of the church of kyle they've all signed on board they're paying me dues at this point i don't know we keep them down low but it's for it's affordable i think she's a member of the church of kyle

down low but it's for it's affordable i think she's a member of the church kyle is he wouldn't clearly not very highly ranked from that response right he's a um yeah he's he hasn't quite risen to the level of disciple yet we don't see him on camera enough a disciple is like one of those 12 disciples. Am I right about that? There are. Currently, there are only four. I'm collecting. I hear you.

I like the way you're thinking. But you can be a member of the Church of Kyle and be a regular person. There's people in the pews. Those are parishioners, though. What word did I use before? I don't even remember. You started with parishioner. You can be a parishioners though yeah that's what i did i use what word did i use before i don't even you started with parishioner yeah you can be a parishioner you can just be you can go to the church cow to learn how to how to conduct yourself yeah it's about to get a little bit kyle system you know there's a dentist system

kyle demonstrate value i i don't know what like you do but the demo oh the dentist system let me You've got four letters. Kyle? Demonstrate value. I don't know it like you do. Oh, the Dennis system. Demonstrate value. Encourage. I think it's Dennis system. I want to get it right. Oh, is this like the cult stuff?

No, this is from Dennis. This is how he dates. Demonstrate value, engage physically, nurture dependency, then neglect emotionally. Okay? Then...

And then separate entirely. Where's the I? Oh, inspire hope. Okay, so demonstrate value, engage physically, nurture dependency, neglect emotionally, inspire hope, separate entirely. That's the Dennis system.

He's not a good person. It's not a good system. Savage. It seems like it fits in the church of Kyle We just need one with K-Y-L-E Let's see I don't like what you've written here Chiz This makes me sound like scared

Yield your tools, let loose your rage Enjoy your time I don't like this at all Chiz It's a caveman system right here I don't think Dark motto for a dark man he's sticking by it he doubled down jesus christ everybody's like kyle such a sociopath he doesn't have feelings like or maybe i'm just making jokes you cunts did they hurt your feelings no of course it didn't hurt my feelings.

I don't have any. I see. I see what you did there. All right, Woody Kyle, which one of you invested in cryptocurrency? I'm in and out. Yeah. So I bought in at just under 8,000.

I got out at, it was under 15 000 like 14 5 14 8 and uh but i only i didn't have a whole coin so i only made like four grand and uh it was a it was whatever high 14s and i didn't actually have faith in it i only bought it because of fomo and i was like that's not how i invest it was just a weakness. I took my winnings and I left. I bought $5,000 worth when it was $8,400

I believe. I haven't touched it. It's just sitting there. I'm not going to touch it. It'll be good. I liked Harley's idea behind this thing. It's just like, forget about it. And he didn't say it then because it hadn't happened yet, but it's like, pull a 50 cent with this, right?

50 cent forgot that he had gotten paid 700 bitcoins years and years ago, and his quote was like, I forgot I even done that shit. And then he looked and he's got like $7.5 million worth of Bitcoin. I don't believe that story, by the way. Which part of it? Any of it. I don't think it's true. 50 Cent is

wildly known, well known for lying about his net worth. That's his thing. He lies about how much money he has constantly. He lied in court. He had an al much money he has constantly. He lied in court. He had an alimony thing or something. 50 cent. He couldn't inflate his net worth anymore.

He was declaring bankruptcy and borrowing money. I think you got it backwards. Yeah, it's verifiable on the Bitcoin thing. He definitely does have it. But the thing he does is he gets out of paying his taxes. Like, he's po-mouthing. He'll file for bankruptcy, but then he's actually got his money somewhere else where he can protect it. Like, he's just getting out of paying taxes.

Moving money. Gotta keep moving the money. He's just moving his money around. He's got all that vitamin water money. Oh, you can spend a lot of money you know alice i'm glad you brought that up go on that reminds me of connor mcgregor of course did you see connor's uh uh most recent interview i i saw he's stepping out of a limo about to go do some charity work in new york yeah yeah i saw that i i liked what he said it sounded good he's like i'm either gonna fight tony ferguson or uh or khabib or maybe mayweather

you know or or diaz i hated two of those you know the right answer is i'm gonna fight the winner ferguson could be period anything else and you're fucking scumbag like diaz is not on the he's the fucking title holder right now and he's gonna go grab some unranked skinny fat diaz brother no no you can't fight him that's that's lame you're gonna fight mayweather and get your ass kicked again for money hey because because mayweather keeps keeps posting instagram photos of him training i'll give you 10 to 1 odds that fight never happens i'll give you 100 to 1 odds that fight never happens. I'll give you 100 to 1 odds that it never happens. There's no

fucking way. No fucking way that Mayweather is dumb enough to step in there and take brain damage because that's what will fucking happen. Conor will make a mockery of him. He will hurt him. He won't just beat him. He'll hurt him. He'll injure him.

He'll break him apart. He'll beat him bloody. It'll beure him he'll he'll break him apart he'll beat him bloody it'll be it'll be all the shit that that he doesn't know how to do it'll be keep maintaining extreme distance with kicks right until mayweather is crippled until he has no footwork or speed and then he's just gonna dog him or you could just take him to the ground connor's no slouch on the ground an mma guy going into boxing is like a sprinter going into hurtling, right? It's different, but there's a lot to it. A boxer going into MMA is like a boxer going into swimming or something. There's so much more to that game that Kyle's right.

It would be so – that fight is not happening in the real world. Yeah, he hurt him. That fight would go – I wish I could think of what Conor said. He's like, it'll go however I want it to go or something like that. That's exactly what would happen. It would be incredibly entertaining because nobody likes Mayweather, right? Like we all hate Mayweather. And that's his game.

That's the character he's playing. That's the meta that he understands. He used to be pretty boy Floyd. He wasn't getting those big checks, so he became big money Mayweather. Now everybody hates him. Now everybody wants to see him get beaten up. So everybody watches him fight. They're not watching to see him win like you would watch.

People watch Conor because they want to see him win. They love this story of this guy who just wins and wins and wins. People watch most fighters because they want them to win. People watch Mayweather fights specifically to see him lose. That's what it's all about. They say that the hate definitely drives the fame. And of course you're watching for Mayweather to take that loss by whomever it may be, but then it changes the story. It gives it a different narrative and of course it just blows up the individuals telling the story at that point.

Everybody wants their chance to ride off of somebody else's fame somehow or another. Yeah, absolutely. I want to see him fight Tony Ferguson. I really hope Tony Ferguson beats Khabib, because I don't think Conor can beat Khabib. Because I feel like Tony will keep the fight on the... will stand up and fight. I feel like he... He feels like he's got

something to prove against Conor. I would imagine this is kind of like the optics that I have of it. Whereas Khabib is like, I'm a Dagestani smashing machine. I don't care what anybody thinks about how I fight or when I fight or where I fight. I'm a Dagestani smashing machine. I don't care what anybody thinks about how I fight or when I fight or where I fight. I'm a Dagestani smashing machine. I'm going to take him down.

I'm going to humiliate him. I'm going to drop elbows on him over and over and over like he's a Michael Johnson test dummy. And nobody wants to see that. If you're a Conor fan, I would hate to see that. That would suck. But I feel like Tony versus Conor is a really interesting stylistic matchup, like to see who's going to do what, who's going to fight in what way. If Conor can maintain that distance, if Tony's cardio takes over by round four and Conor's

gassed out, or if Tony comes in like a mad dog and storms all over Conor. And Conor pulls another Jose Aldo type thing where he's backing up, backing up, backing up. And then strikes like the cobra and shocks the world again. That's the dream for me. That's what happens. He fights Tony. Tony comes in over aggressively. Conor drops him in round one. And then it's like, now what do you say?

Now what does anybody say not connor has nothing but ass kickings coming his way if connor fights mayweather in boxing of course he gets his ass kicked if he fights ferguson he gets his ass kicked if he fights khabib he gets his ass kicked if he goes down to 145 and fights holloway he gets his ass kicked and yes i know they fought a long time ago. Not only do I know, but I was there. And Kyle was there right next to me. We watched that fight in real life. We know. But I say, today's Holloway beats McGregor.

McGregor loses to everybody that it would be appropriate for him to fight at this point. He's coming out of retirement, for fuck's sake. The guy hasn't fought since 2016. Who's he going to beat? I don't agree with Woody's viewpoint at this point. He's coming out of retirement, for fuck's sake. The guy hasn't fought since 2016. Who's he going to beat? I don't agree with Woody's viewpoint on this thing. I think that he's been training this whole time. I check out his Instagram every now and then. He's been going hard for months and months

and months. Sure. He looks good to me. I feel like... I do wish I looked that good. I don't think he'd take Habib. I don't think. I just don't think. Although, and this is what everybody says,

you watch the Michael Johnson fight, Michael had him rocked, and he just couldn't capitalize on it. If Conor gets that kind of opening on Habib, if Conor can keep this guy off of his legs, if he can defend from those single legs and double legs for two rounds, I think he wins. I think he knocks him out.

Did you see that video breaking down how Conor stops takedowns? Yeah, yeah, I've seen a lot of those. He puts his hand on it and stuff. Yeah, I had never observed that on my own, but it made a lot of sense. Sorry, say that again, Wayne? Because Conor does a thing that other fighters don't do in that he has really long arms. Conor's weight is – he fought at 145 and he's got the arms of a 185 guy.

They're just – they call it the ape index. And it has to do with your height compared to your arm length. And Conor's – It's referencing climbing all the time, so yeah. Oh, okay. So his ape index is gigantic. I don't know anyone else who does quite as well in his weight. So he often just puts a hand on the other guy's neck,

on the other guy's collarbone, and it's really hard to sneak in a takedown attempt when he's got his hand on you. And it's one of the reasons people struggle so much to take Conor down, why he did so well against Eddie Alvarez and other good wrestlers. RDA, did he fight him? Maybe not. That guy got hurt. But anyway, so it's like, ah, Khabib,

he's going to take him down, he's going to smash him. That's what he does. He does it to everyone. He's undefeated. He's a smashing machine. Maybe, you know, but can he get takedowns if Conor puts his hand on his collarbone all fight long? We'll see. We'll see. But like I said, i guess i just lost faith

in connor because he stopped fighting that's my yeah tough to tough to hear that like someone's coming back after that long it's it's a long time in like a professional like athlete's career to be without doing anything yeah and um and maybe i'm a little sore connor because of the way he changed the game right before connor if you wanted to be a stud, you had to be tough. You know, you had to take on all comers and you had to win and people loved you for winning fights.

That was the thing. Now, Connor's made it as much about the entertainment as about the, how well you can hype it, how well you can, the music you play, your Instagram game has a lot to do with your value as a fighter. And it's really important to sort of pick and choose your fights and your path.

The old school guys, you call them out and they say yes. That's how that works. You're calling me out? Well, that was your first mistake. Your next one will be showing up. That's how the old school guys work. Connor, very, maybe I'm wrong. I'm thinking about it.

He carefully chooses his opponents for maximum dollars. But then when they get hurt and they swap in a new guy, he just says yes. Like it's no problem. So I loved him for that. It's just he's not that guy anymore. And I guess I'm mad at him for not fighting. Yeah. Maybe that's the hard thing to do.

You think with a lot of fighters, you know, when they do take that time off, more mental than it is physical and making it a little more difficult to come back because mentally they're just in a different place? I feel like I don't know. I never understood ring rust. And it doesn't impact every fighter. Dominic Cruz, ring rust is not – he says ring rust isn't a real thing and for him it never is uh there's another example too i can't think of it but these guys come back from long layoffs and they're great but 90 of the fighters they come back from long layoffs and

they're terrible they just don't have the same timing they haven't tried things at full intensity and i don't know why being in the octagon is so much different than training but it seems to be they go in there and it takes them a fight to get that timing back I don't know why but people take time off and it crushes their career yeah yeah yeah I don't know so is true with a lot of YouTube careers as well yeah right it's partly the algorithm I don't know if it's the videos I and I think people like lose their addiction to that guy that's my theory on it you know even just a couple of weeks people can get out of the rhythm of seeing you and exactly don't come back yeah I was thinking youtube a lot of people get youtube success and i feel like it ruins them right like i i'm gonna

call him out again x jaws right i don't know if you guys know x jaws uh he was about 16 years old getting like 50 000 checks or at least one and And I think XJaws never does YouTube. He's a college graduate today, right? Now he's kind of figuring out where he lands in life. And there are a lot of people, but not just on YouTube, but lottery winners have like a really high felony rate, homicide rate compared to the general population. It's like, why is winning the lottery having such a bad impact on you you give people a taste of

that sweetness of success or money or whatever and they can't go back to being the old them and I yeah I don't know like you drain my bank account and I'm like fuck am I even how would I do if i had if i worked whatever 40 60 hours a week at a regular job now right have i been ruined too maybe maybe i think that that's a great conversation piece as to you know youtube had placed a lot of us financially in a in a spot where thinking of a regular 40-hour-a-week job or that 9-to-5, whatever the case may be, you can't go back to whatever minimum wage is at this point

because you've been thrown so much money that most doctors and lawyers can't possibly make. Can you actually mentally go back to $10, $12-an-hour job and still maintain your life? I guess you know i'm a slightly different league in that i certainly haven't made to the i'm certainly not making money like you're describing but even the passion of it right like i'm doing something this many hours a week that i love and i would have a hard time going back to something that i was spending as many if not more hours doing that i was only doing for a

paycheck or was doing that I might enjoy from time to time but didn't have that same passion for I don't know how to switch back even to that I think would be very challenging it was like I didn't know that people could do things that they just wanted to do that people could have their own schedule or own their own time like it there was a point where at Cisco I worked in a cube farm right I literally stood in my office chair and looked at the sea of cubes going out from both sides of me and it was like these people don't even know they don't even know they just come here sit in their cube every day like bio robots and work and i do that too for 13 years i did that at cisco you know 18 20 years i don't know how long if you include the other jobs and

it was like wowsers like there's more to this like you don't have to just sit in this cube and my cube was so like i dressed mine up but the cube itself why would you make a cube dishwater gray right why would you make a huge dishwater gray? And I just sat there all the time doing my thing. And it would be hard. I just imagine, right, my bank account's drained tomorrow, and I go for a regular job. And it wasn't on my terms, right? If I did it because I wanted something to do, you know, that'd be different.

But if it was like a have to do you know that'd be different but if it was like a have to do and i went in there like it would just be like soul sucking yeah i don't know i mean yeah so we hear we hear the you guys are giving examples of people who have been basically i assume who had large youtubes and that has died down and they're not knowing what the fuck to do do we have any counter examples people with youtubes and that has died down and they're not knowing what the fuck to do? Do we have any counterexamples? People with YouTubes who have fallen the fuck apart and now are doing something like a non-content producing job and happy with it? Do we know any of these?

If we're looking just for... I don't. Personally, I don't. I don't know anybody. It feels like the lottery. Where, you know, they drop a success on you, and then it's hard to be a regular person again.

And there's so many lottery winners say, you know what? I'm not going to change one bit. I'll go from single to double wide, but otherwise, I'm just going to stay me. And they don't. Some of them don't even go to the double wide but otherwise I'm just gonna stay me and they don't some of them don't even go to the double wide all I've ever seen were content creators mentally breaking down as you know the money wasn't coming in the way it once

was and putting out videos where you just see them breaking down or you see him in person just tucked in the darkness like life has now discontinued because the money isn't coming in the same you can always go back to a regular life well that's what you're talking about life hasn't left it's always been there your life just changed but you can always go back to humble beginnings it's not difficult that was my plan that was that was that was planning i didn't people have heard me say this before i envisioned it being like a low level pro golfer right that was my thought process i was like i'm gonna take this ride it's gonna last three to five years and uh at the end of it i'll go back to work it'll probably set my career back a little bit you know there'll be a gap and

it's like i don't know raising your kids to kindergarten set your career back a little bit you know there'll be a gap and it's like i don't know raising your kids to kindergarten set your career back a little bit but i don't think i'll regret it just like a pro golfer like yeah you know i uh i spent three to five years doing this living my version of a dream and now and by the way you know like while the career might be set back the money situation in general is probably ahead of where it would have been fast forwarded and uh now here i am back at work and i don't regret being a pro golfer at all and that was what i thought it was going to be that for you guys was it i don't know either of your stories with our kyle story on this was it was it fairly abrupt the change in income or was it gradual so did you build up to where it was or was it kind of leaps and bounds for uh

for the subscriber base for you guys oh the build up yeah uh it was gradual but like uh it wasn't linear it was exponential almost right so um i don't know right out of the gate, I got to like 3,000 subs or something right away. And I think I went from like 8,000 to 18,000 when I put a video on Hutch's channel. I don't know if you know Hutch. He was at Call of Duty, like the legend of Call of Duty. And we were going to do a dual comm. And then I think he just didn't have enthusiasm for it or anything. But he's like, I'll still come through for you. He gave me his password to his YouTube channel.

It was like having Odin's lightning bolt or something. If I just liked someone's video and it went out to his people, it would change lives. The nuclear launch codes. Yeah. I never did anything inappropriate with it. I just uploaded my video. I did what he wanted me to do. And I put a

video on my channel and uh people liked it and it went well and um i went from 8 000 to 18 000. and then i went from there to over a million like without a dual com of anyone bigger than me like that was the last time i was the receiver and uh what type of time for him i'm not positive it might have been two years something like that and um you know like as you know like it takes a some period of time to go to 100 000 then that same period of time to go to 200 and then that same period of time to go to 400 and then to 800 800 000 and uh you know it just i went to, I think I had 1.2 million at my peak. And then for me, what happened was like my videos were doing well, but I could see I was on the second half of the bell curve. Right. You know, whereas I, my videos were getting like, I uploaded

twice a day and I would get like 150 to 200,000 views a video and then that started shifting to like 100 to 150 and uh it's like all right this ride's not over right I'm still putting up two six digit videos a day but the writing's on the wall right I can see in the direction that this is headed so um that's when Woodycraft started up and, uh, that Woody craft is a Minecraft server. And I, I started that and work super hard at it, you know, and at the time I was still doing YouTube videos, but I had Woody craft going and I was just working every way, every hours a week, you know, sometimes I'd sleep four hours, sometimes I'd sleep six, but the other hours in the day were all working. You know, I left you know i installed a monitor over our bed so i could see the status of our servers and if any of them turned

red i'd just get up in the middle of the night and go and they had like one eye on it even when i was sleeping and worked constantly but that thing was wildly successful like even in i forget the time frame you know within six months it was one of the top servers in the world. And, uh, you talked about income levels, I think was even higher than my YouTube was. And, um, uh, so that thing went on and then I probably held onto that deeper into the bell curve than I did my YouTube channel. You know, I was getting at max I'd have over 3000, like 3,500, 3,200 players on the server at one time and that number

drained all the way down to like a good daily max would be like 400 and it's like well writing's on the wall for this one too so uh we stopped selling things but we kept the server going so anyone who bought something would get their value out of it that was like the thought process and we just kept it going and going and then eventually shut the servers down one by one and and wrapped it up and uh but by the time that whole ride was over uh you know i had saved a lot of money so that's that's where we are now i guess i was kind of wondering about the trajectory of it all so i mean if we're talking like these horror stories of like, you know, win the lottery and their life falls apart six months later or a year or a couple of years later, I wonder about the suddenness of the change. For me, I feel like there were a couple of things that helped me. One, I was older.

You know, if you drop that kind of success on 16-year-old Woody, like there's no telling what I would get into. I was pretty stupid. And it'd probably be dumber than X-Jaws ever was. So part of it, I was older. Part of it is I had had flirtations with it before, and it wasn't even my fault, but I had Cisco stock options. And I don't know if people know,

but Cisco was like the Apple of its day. It was the second most valued company on the planet. During that dot-com boom, Cisco was like the big winner out of it all. And I had a lot of stock options from it. And I wasn't a millionaire or anything, but I was like a multi-hundred thousandaire. But I wasn't vested yet, so I couldn't even cash out.

And, um, these are jokes, all right. Anyway, I was invested. And when Cisco stock tanked, so did my potential net worth. And I don't know, something about that experience, like my little brush with doing well, was maybe a learning experience for my second time around. It helped. Yeah.

My thing grew really, really fast. There were days when I'd get 25,000 subscribers. And just big leaps and bounds. I don't know how many millions I got in one year alone. Subscribers. Part of it was learning to create a viral video. On purpose. Because at the time, it seemed like most viral videos

were accidental. Somebody would trip and fart and it would be funny and everybody would share it. There was chocolate rain and stuff like that. What are the common denominators of all of these videos? It's the shareability

of it, the curious nature of this thing, the mystery of it, the cool factor of it. It's also funny. How long are these videos? Shorter is better. It was sort of combining all of those things together to create the perfect viral video that you could upload every week. to create the perfect viral video that you could upload every week. And also at the same time keeping production value to a point that's sustainable.

And I did all that perfectly, if I do say so myself. So my videos would be featured on CNN and Fox News. And G4 TV would come down and do a segment with me every week. My videos were on mainstream media because people were like, this Russian man somehow has a deadly new machine gun, and the Russians have it. What is America to do? That's sort of like mystery factored behind the character. Like, who is this guy, right?

He says, I'm FPS Russia. What does that even mean? What does that even name that's a that's not really even a title that's just uh an idea of something you know so you know not really going too in depth about who this guy is or what he's up to you know people thought is this guy a spetsnaz commando is this guy in the united states is he in russia is he in no no he's in ukraine i can tell by the accent trust me that's ukraine he's in ukraine see the snow there you know whenever it would snow oh let's crank out a couple videos it snowed that'll really throw him off uh all of that stuff was kind of key to to to that success but but yeah just leaps and enormous bounds and then kitty was kind of pioneered a kind of branded integration on youtube that no one else was doing you know

it's if you're selling something nobody wants to be sold to necessarily unless they really like you i mean we do the we do ad reads right right? People like us. They're happy to hear from us and they trust our opinions on these things. So that works. But that wasn't really what FDS Russia was doing. You don't need to know me. You don't need to trust me. You don't even need to like me. It's about showing this product off in a viral way and and selling it without selling it right selling it on its own merit alone and and she really pioneered that so whether we were working with uh a movie company like we worked with um i remember ben stiller called my house one day and uh and he's like who are you what are you you know like i been watching this shit. Who's writing these jokes?

You're American? Who's writing the jokes? I kind of just make it up. That's great. We want to work with you somehow. Then we start working with his company, Red Hour Productions. We promoted a movie for them and went to their

studios out in LA and got to meet those guys. Then just every step along the way, we go we go to e3 we meet with gaming companies uh where it was a game like rage or um i'm blanking out the um metal of honor warfighter hitman all that stuff you know we just go meet with those people and uh sort of pitch what we could do for them. And, you know, like, hey, this package is the cheapo package. It'll cost you X amount of money. This is the mid-range package. It'll cost you this much money.

This is the crazy balls-to-the-wall package. It costs this much money. And this is what each one entails. And almost all the time they'd go for the mid-range package because the cheap package, which wasn't cheap at all, really didn't have a lot of cool shit in it. The balls-to-the-wall package costs a lot of money,

enough to buy a house. So they'd always go for the mid-range, which was still an enormous amount of money, and, you know, for me to produce a four-minute video with, like, $3,000 worth of overhead. So it was really easy, you know, once I got into the hang of the idea of the whole thing, to just keep cranking them out, you know.

Has it ruined you, Kyle? I suppose. I suppose it has to some extent. But, you know, I really like the simple things in life, right? Like, I don't i i i don't need a lot of money i've i've saved a good bit of money i have all the things i really need at this point in life for the most part you know uh there's a pretty good tail end on youtube videos especially ones that are sorry i was gonna say and i'm not and I'm not done yet. I've got some legal troubles

going on right now, but that's soon to be resolved, I believe, to a happy ending. And I have some fun things to do, both on YouTube and Twitch, I think. I really like Ice Poseidon because I feel like what he's doing

is a little bit like what I used to do but he's doing this IRL thing and it's kind of stuff that I've always kind of had in mind for funny videos but they were just like a little too outrageous and a little bit too unmarketable. I want to do some IRL streaming sort of like what he does and make it be

pretty fucking outrageous and I also want to do some gaming stuff and you know harness my subscriber base. And I've got a couple million people on Facebook. So yeah, I've got some interesting plans. And I've got plenty of people I can collaborate with that are both in gaming and streaming and entertainment and stuff like that.

But we can probably never go back, though, to outside of this. I mean, you're talking about back though to outside of this i mean you're talking about a pretty wide set of content there but it's all content creation probably yeah that regardless yeah oh yeah for sure i'm hard to sell cars yeah maybe now it's got a large viewer base yeah i i could do that i would enjoy that probably it's just too many hours of actual work i don't want any part of that um and i just don't need to i guess uh so so yeah the next little stage of my career i guess is going to be uh a combination of things

i haven't exactly nailed down what i'm going to do but it's gonna be something similar to what we're doing right here right now uh with you know and also making some fun content on Twitch and also doing some streaming. We'll definitely get some Chatterbait streams in. We're going to harness that little platform. I'll watch that, Kyle. Of course you will. I mean, why wouldn't you? How huge FPS rushing peaked?

I know you were top nine sub-channels on YouTube. Is that the best? Is ninth? Yeah. Ninth, dude. Like, who's ninth right now? Logan Paul's not even that high, right? Yeah.

Is it Paul Logan? I don't even know. Logan Paul. Logan Paul, yeah. Like, you could name some giant people. H3H3 is not even close to ninth, you know? Like, FPS Russia, ginormous. Yeah, and the growth per day was the really interesting stat, you know.

You know, thousands an hour at times. Thousands an hour. You know, stuff like that. How cool is that? Yeah. That's pretty nuts. So when you start seeing that kind of growth, you sort of give up on this idea of the way you're connected with your subscriber base when you're a smaller channel because it's impossible now. Because you can't keep reintroducing yourself every day.

videos that are five to eight minutes long and simultaneously introduce yourself to the the 75,000 subscribers who just have joined in the last six days you know that that's impossible so you have to pick one or the other but that kind of feeds right back into the loop that I described where you're kind of a mysterious uh unknown kind of intangible thing, which is something that I enjoyed. Yeah. I know we're close to time, but I kind of wanted to hear from Dame, too, just on that thought. I mean, I don't know a lot about your channel.

It sounds like you've been going for quite a long time with some of the stuff we've been linking earlier today. I've been running for over eight years. Haven't reached the success level of fps rusher or even a woody gamer tag i was able to brand myself outside of youtube early through the food reviews because i literally was the first creator to do in-car fast food reviews now there's just a whole bunch of us but um right around the time when my video first went viral it was like only a few months after

that when Dr. Roz's people reached out. So that was the first TV show that was on. I did two episodes with Dr. Roz. Right around the second episode is when Jimmy Fallon's people reached out. That's before he took over for Jay Leno. So I did two episodes on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. It was two exclusives. One was with McDonald's McRib and the other one was like for Valentine's Day. I had a review of box of chocolates. But literally that second episode that I did with Jimmy is when Rachel Ray's people found me. And the only difference was Rachel Ray actually signed me. So I'm still with the Rachel Ray show. I've been with her for three seasons now. So all my stuff was able to translate

over i guess to the television side of things i ended up with a tv show best dame takeout and did that back in 2013 did a couple few other pilots um of course when i was telling you earlier woody about you know facebook watch i ended up doing a show called taste buds on there like six episodes with first we feast and um in complex which of course run the show hot ones which is real major doing a show called Taste Buds on there, like six episodes with First We Feast and Complex, which of course run the show Hot Ones, which is real major with Sean Evans on YouTube now. So YouTube is still, you know, my day-to-day flow, but I continue to have things going on outside of YouTube. Picked up multiple sponsorships that I still run through, just knocked out four in the month of January.'ll be doing some work with a NASCAR actually this month and with the first black NASCAR driver Bubba

Come to final. He's actual fan of my food reviews. Yes So, uh, it's pretty cool man And that you know things just kind of keep flowing along and folks still keep finding me on YouTube Is YouTube your biggest single source of income or is it outside YouTube? shit I keep finding me on YouTube. Is YouTube your biggest single source of income or is it outside YouTube? Shit. I would still say that YouTube still would be the biggest. Outside of YouTube, it's starting to catch up and soon overlap.

YouTube is still the biggest. Okay. It's nice to have a diverse income like that. If any one of those drops off, your life carries on. You got to meet Rachel Ray, huh? I mean that seems like a stupid question, but – Oh, what did you say, Kyle? What was that?

Did you get to meet Rachel Ray in person and everything? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We actually worked together like in studio. Oh, yeah, that's cool. So what happens is what I'll do, I'll go out in the field first and I'll film whatever. Like I remember I did stuff with a big mozzarella in New York. So I was actually making the mozzarella, rolling up the balls, all that good stuff. But the following days, I brought the guy with me back into the studios and we were in there with Rachel Ray showing how we made the mozzarella and all that good stuff.

That's how it always works. She'll send me to the Jets game. Actually, I came out with a few Jets players, brought them back to the studio. So it's always something different. I even remember going to etiquette school in New York. Rather interesting. That's cool. Yeah. Is that the biggest celebrity you've ever met? Or is there...

Yes. Yes. Yeah, I've met some other individuals, but Rachel Ray, she's the biggest. What about you, Phil? Any celebrity meetings? Nope. I met FPS Russia. What's fun is FPS Russia

was in the same commercial as who the hell's Iron Man? Help me with his name. Robert Downey? Yeah, Robert Downey Jr. Kyle was going to let me swing in the wind. I could see him over there Kyle knows his name He wanted to see what pronunciation I came up with

So you know that like six degrees of separation Dude I'm there Right Because I'm in a thing with Kyle Kai's in a thing with Robert Downey Jr. Suddenly the connection comes I'm like four degrees from Trump You know

And directed Hey it's directed by Guy Ritchie. You're only one extra degree away from Madonna now. See? Because – She's only a – and she kissed Britney Spears. Keep it going. And now, Filthy, this is true of you.

You've done a thing with Kyle. You're as many degrees from Trump as I am. You go to Kyle, you go to Robert Downey Jr., and suddenly you're into the web of connected degrees of separation. It's fun. I expect I'll be fired at any moment. Yeah, that was really cool. When I heard Guy Ritchie was directing that thing,

I was like, oh, I guess they just paid him, and now his name's going to be in the credits. But no, he's over there. He's in his director's chair. He's coming over. He's like, all right, the bombs are going to fall on you now. You hold your thing, and you look up, and you're scared.

You need to be actually scared, but not too scared because you're a badass. You're accepting death, all right? All right? I'm like, okay. None of this is real. We're in a giant room that's blue. I mean a giant room that's blue, like 70-foot ceilings, and like half of the stuff that's there is there there's there's fake asphalt and cars and stuff and they've got a quarter million dollar camera on this wire rig that zips toward me at 45 miles per hour and stops four feet in front of my face and then goes

straight up and it's easy to be scared of that fucking thing a little and i was like holy shit that's guy richie that's the guy that fucking did Snatch. That's the guy that fucking did Snatch. This is awesome. And he's over there playing his guitar and singing songs like between takes and stuff. That was fucking neat. I enjoyed that. I've always wondered what direction was like. They shoot movies and stuff out of order.

And I imagine it's easy for actors to be like, so know, like, so what am I going for here? You know, I remember the lines, but help me put them in context. And that's what it sounds like, huh? When we did that Logan Paul movie, I felt like I was the most professional one there because like we're doing a scene. And I'm like, all right, well, that doesn't make any sense because like we just we just walked in. Right. We just all walked in together so we would have seen the guy there right and everybody's like yeah yeah you would have seen the guy so you know he's there and i hope that thing comes out it's a mockery it's a mockery to all things

like all right so it's like the scare it's like the scary movie movies right like it's meant to be tongue-in-cheek and goofy. And I'm sure the sensitive types will be like, oh, it's so cringey. It's so cringeworthy. I hate that. No, it's silly and fun. And look, I can't get behind or in front of any dangling Japanese men. I get it.

That shit's not cool. But the movie's going to be funny if it ever comes out. It's tied up with not only with him dangling the Japanese man or standing in front of him or whatever, but also someone's holding up the trademark on the title of the movie, but when that thing

comes out, it really is going to be funny. I mean, I guess I could talk about what the movie's about. It's not like... I don't think they'll... I don't think I signed an NDA. Did I? Oh, shit. Don't mess that up, brother.

Actually, don't do it. What if they come after the whole show? I don't think this is a personal decision you're making. You know? Alright, I won't do that. The degree of separation will get closer. closer yeah come after you too yeah um i will say uh you know like i've talked about the four but farva from fucking super troopers in there got to meet him got to hang out with him get our makeup done together um and uh and two or three other like supporting actors that nobody really knows

like not to be offensive toward them but you but you'd never know who they were in there. And I think the premise of it's kind of funny. The special effects, I don't know what they're going to turn out like. But there's a part where... It was a high-budget movie for what it was. There were millions of dollars being spent. You know, there's a,

there's an entire airplane fuselage being used inside of a studio and people getting sucked out of it. And, uh, and, uh, there's a monkey there. Like when I,

when I, when I texted Taylor from the set and I was like, God's got a fucking monkey. He's like, Oh, get your picture taken with it. I'm like, I don't,

I don't want to fuck with that monkey. What if he goes crazy on me? It was, it was like a capuchin or whatever you should have got me there i could beat up a capuchin oh yeah but it was um but yeah i hope that shit comes out because uh it it's it's worth watching i think i'm gonna watch it you know because a minute i have to see it i will say it was it was real awkward like there's a part where they don't give you any direction and i'm like holding this girl hostage and i don't know who she is like like i'm not into instagram people i i don't i don't give a fuck like but she's a 10 she's just smoking hot and i'm like kidnapping this chick and i felt like it was a little awkward

like i didn't know if i'm you know i'm supposed to have my hand over her mouth and and i'm like i didn't wash my hand all day you know i was like i bet my hands taste bad yeah you tasted yeah i was like i bet if i i wouldn't like I wouldn't put my hand on my mouth at this point of the day, but okay, and I'm, like, holding her at, like, knife point, and, like, I never know, like, when they do this thing where they shoot the scene, like, eight different angles, you know, the same scene, and I never, they don't give enough direction to let you know how serious you need to be about your part if the camera's on your face, and you need to like in the moment like yes i'm taking hostages yes or if you just need to be like i'm standing here because my shoulder's in frame like you never know so you just have to go full hog the whole time and at one point she's like you don't have to hold me so tight because i'm like suffocating her i'm like suffocating her and like the camera's not even on us. But so, yeah, I hope that thing comes out. I know that Logan Paul gets a lot of hate. Some of it deserved, I suppose.

But I think the movie is worth watching, and it's fucking silly. And I'm in it. And so is Vitaly. Casey Neistat's in it. And Casey Neistat's in it. Yeah, I wasn't there at the same time as Casey. I never saw him. I just know he's in it because I watched his daily vlogs at the time.

Yeah, yeah. I think he had done his thing before I got there. Okay. Yeah. Call it a wrap? Good stuff. I think so. I think so.

Do we have anything else we want to cover? I was hoping I would get this picture of Taylor in I wanted to get his bruised and beaten face into the show well they should see hints of it on PKN I guess yeah check out Damdrop's new

book on Amazon right what's the title again Eating Across America Eating Across America new book on Amazon, right? Yes, sir. What's the title again? Eating Across America. Eating Across America. Filthy, do you have any books or movies or anything? I do a live stream pretty much four times a week. You should come check me out there. Check me out on YouTube either or.

Filthy Robot on Twitch and Filthy Robot on YouTube. A real-time movie. That's right. Maybe one day. All right. PKA 372. Listen, I don't know how crackly this is. I asked Chiz about the backup during the show.

He said he didn't like his backup. We should use this. Next week, I aspire to have my new computer, which should never have any trouble. It's always better for you guys than it is in my headset, but it was pretty shit in my headset this week. I'm blameless. Yeah, no, well, Kyle was going to build me a new computer.

Still hasn't, so there we are. I'll tell you what about that. You all know what would happen if I built him a PC. Every time a USB didn't work or fucking fuck it didn't overclock to a million megahertz or some shit, it was kyle's pc again kyle's pc is not working i am not an expert what he's saying is all true it sounds like he's got your number i built my pc it works it's 97 perfect but there's a usb plug that like once in a blue moon will be unrecognized and be like oh okay unplug here and plug in a different one good to go

I don't want that responsibility and shit I went to iBuyPower well that's the reason it's crackling Kyle has yet to build me a PC I actually have it here check out our Patreon. Link down in the description below.

We had an awesome hangout with the Patreon fans. They were so funny that I'm discussing and trying to get everybody to get literally five or six of them on this show at the same time. Like for

half an hour or an hour or something these guys are hilarious and and we've got a guy who does an amazing kenyan accent i think he's from kenya and uh and i was like you should come on and be like magumbo the kenyan prince and he's like oh yes i will tell you about my father he is a poor lord and i was like yeah but you need one of those like african garbs and he's like i will be right and he comes back has it he's got like that african like shirt thing with like the cut on the front where the collar is and everything and then he's doing the accent that guy's fucking hilarious spider pig guy with the beard who seems to be like independently

wealthy like 20 year old in a garage surrounded with a quarter million dollars worth of toys all the time um we were looking at like mill serp trucks like a deuce deuce and a half so people know what that is but gigantic trucks that are 15 feet tall and he's like these are so cheap is there a trick why wouldn't i just buy one right now? Because they weigh 30 tons. It's $8,000. He's like, fuck it. Look at it click. Look at it clap.

It was amazing. Our Hangouts are fucking excellent. Would you be interested in doing that, Woody, having five or six of those guys on this show for half an hour to an hour or something like that? Yeah, we need to be ruthlessly selective, you know, somewhere between three or five,

you know, I want the Kenyan guy. Maybe in private, we pick them out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we definitely want the Kenyan guy,

right? Sure, sure. We get the Kenyan guys great. And he said he'd wear the shirt and he'd get one of those little hats. The whole, do the whole thing. Alright. Okay, PKA episode 372.