Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #375

Episode Date: March 1, 2018

This week on PKA, no guest this week as Ice Poseidon had to cancel last minute but doesn't mean it's not a crazy and entertaining as hell episode. With silly talk about Chiz's ridiculous "Cake Shake A Day" diet idea, the guys burn through several terrible topic segments and they swing on by an old favorite, some good old-fashioned "Fat People Hate"

Painkiller already, 375. Kyle? Yeah, a few sponsors tonight. Stitch Fix, Bombfell, and a brand new one, getquip.com. So we'll get to those guys later on in the show. But yeah, just the three of us tonight, nice and cozy. We had a very late cancellation by Ice. I guess he had to go dress up as a tranny or fake a serious illness or something like that.

Or just go suck a friend's dick for the memes. For the memes! It could be anything. I think it's honestly, like, maybe I misread what Chiz messaged me, but maybe he's getting evicted from his place or something like that, because, you know, because of the... Because he has prostitutes over and, like, lights things on fire? No, that's not why.

It's because people just show up in large quantities and do silly stuff. So the complex had to hire a security guard, and they were making him pay for the said security guard, and it was just a whole thing. He mentioned it on the stream last night. A lot of the time when a guest cancels, I'm like, eh, whatever. I don't really care. It's some of the three like shows are fun

but with ice i was like oh man like i really wanted to quiz him on some more of his ridiculous shit you know it's always something ridiculous shit will just accumulate it will it will be better in the long run yeah we're gonna do a six hour show next time he's on because he's done so much stupid fucking shit it's brilliant he owes us four hours we could make it eight no that's is that not how it works? I've gotta be up on Fridays. I did too, I gotta get up at seven. What time do you have to get up here, Tim?

Uh, seven. Yeah. Right around there. But- oh, so we were uh, we were putting it off. We wanted to talk about Chiz's uh, diet faux pas now i don't know nearly as much about this as kyle does can i have 15 seconds before we dive into the the show hey this is a new setup if you see something say something i corrected all the known mistakes from painkiller nearly and i hope everything is good i'm a little less yellow but still yellow so i

don't look pasty white anyway uh we spent over an hour dialing it in. Hopefully it's awesome. But please, now, set it up. So Chiz has been casually commenting for, I guess, a couple weeks now. He's like, you know, a cake shake a day keeps the diabetes away, or the cake shake a day keeps the doctor away. And I just thought he was joking. And I was like, man, that joke's getting a little old what what is he even talking about because i've

had cake shakes before and for the uninitiated the kind that i've had you take an entire cupcake and i'm not talking about some little bullshit cupcake i'm talking about a big old fistful of a cupcake and you throw it into your milkshake and then you you make a milkshake out of it's incredibly delicious they sell them at some restaurant you get all the calories of a milkshake, and then you you make a milkshake out of it's incredibly delicious They sell them at some restaurant. You get all the calories of a milkshake and a cupcake Yes, and the chewy like consistency of cake like there's chunks of cake in there. It's wonderful. It's wonderful and It turns out what a testament to mankind's arrogance To blend a cupcake into a milkshake. Is it not enough? Are you not losing that foot fast enough?

Jesus Christ. Anyway, sorry, Kyle. Go ahead. It turns out he's been on a diet that he invented called the cake shake diet. And I guess he's just been trying to eat a cake shake a day or maybe a cake shake as a meal a day. I think he's been replacing

meals with cake shakes and uh he was under the the foolish supposition he believes what you're about to say yes he he he he thought that these cake shakes that he was eating drinking imbibing, were 600 calories. And apparently that's like how many grams of fat are in it or something because he read a little deeper. It's 1,300 calories each. They're 1,300 calories each. And he's been like, I don't want to guess, but I think he's been eating one a day in addition to you know whatever else he eats you know i i'm not chiz's keeper but that is just unhealthy if he's still got both of his feet

right now i would be surprised 1300 calories in a cake first of all chiz i love you to death but we're gonna have to go through this as like line item by line item why is this a helpful diet like it i can't imagine there's not a single gram of protein in there like there's maybe a little bit from the milk like but you've got your entire daily requirement of refined sugar which is good thank god it's so hard to get to get the limit on that you know you're frosting your your unsaturated You know, the kind that don't help with your endocrine system and your hormones. I mean, I can't speak for cheese, but I pop gummy bears like vitamins just to make sure I have my refined sugars. Wouldn't it be funny if you'd been used to eating those gummy vitamins? But I just imagine wings just has a big thing of gummies.

Are we on wings now? You mean cheese, not wings i i wanted to transition to wings because he's more fun to make fun of because i don't like him well no but we can't we can't yeah because i like chiz we can't give this i didn't know you just you just drink with wings we're giving chiz a little bit of razzing and of course kyle's joking here but 1300 count mistaking a 600 calorie shake for a 1300 calorie or i apologize mistaking a 1300 calorie shake for a 600 calorie shake that's not like a mistake of like oh my god that i made seven ounces of salmon tonight instead of nine yeah that's like but no i've never been to the

doctor and they're like wow you've grown a lot you lot. You're 13 feet tall. Oh, no, no. You're six feet tall. I'm sorry. And you weigh 420. Oh, no, you weigh 190. Okay. Like, that's baffling, Chiz. How, like, were you just sitting there every day, like, not wanting to turn the container around to look at it? Because you're like, I can't believe it's only 600 calories.

I mean, the cupcake itself is 595. I can't believe five's only 600 calories i mean the cupcake itself is 595 i can't believe five calories are in this when you get to the section of the show because she just watches the whole show and sees what's in this section 30 seconds in yeah he'll make it uh please explain to us what like is there a suicide pact going on here why would you have a cake shake every day and think that that was some sort of diet like what and do some introspection and tell us what the scoop is. That's also like, I don't get it in my head because... One shot.

This is a smart guy. And when you're dieting with this kind of... Like when you're... When you're dieting, like this has to be the hardest way to do it. Like even when I go to Chipotle or whatever now, I'll be like, oh, okay, I'll get a full meal, but I'm going to get the burrito bowl. So I only have to spend 700 calories. Like, you should be thinking of it like a budget kind of thing, you know? Not like, oh, I'm going to blow it out, you know, my ass for 1,300 calories right now and then not eat until I have another cake shake tomorrow.

Like, I don't know. You're making it harder on yourself, man. I don a cake shake a day do your teeth hurt like what are you what are you doing i what works for me i'm not pretending to be some adonis over here but a level of food snobbery in my attitude is is what you're like i'll look at a cake shake and be like something like that doesn't belong in a temple like this right that that's what happened i guess that's the opposite i'm on board are you yeah i look at fried foods french fries like a lot of things and just be like what no you know that this is lean chicken and green beans over here. That shit is for fatties. Yeah, you have to think of it like you're budgeting.

Like you have 1,500 calories a day or whatever, and do you really want to spend 90% of your daily, quote, budget on a cake shake when you could fill yourself? You could eat a cheeseburger from McDonald's, and you could eat three McDoubles, I think, for what that cake shake is. And at least you're getting some, like, retired circus animal meat. That has – I like the way you're thinking, Taylor.

I don't know that I'm educated enough to just, like, estimate how many calories are in the Thai food I get once a month. I'm not there, but I do like – My fitness pal. Oh, a lot. It's a savior. Well, I have downloaded it, so that's step one right there. Half the battle. How would you do it, though?

So this is something your, in your case, girlfriend would cook you or something you get from a restaurant that's not standardized like a McDonald's. How would MyFitnessPal work for that? How would you, how would MyFitnessPal work for that? So if you were trying to calculate, you know, your low main or whatever from that Thai restaurant, the way I would do it, if you're trying to be specific, is I would look up a low main recipe online that's about the same size and calculate those ingredients and then add whatever amount of oil that recipe has, double it. Because it's a restaurant and so it's going to be way more oil and butter pop sing pop sing come over for a moment this is where the human slavery happens they'll come over with like cuffs on you know handcuffs like i like i just don't get it chiz that that's you're making it so much harder on yourself

i i don't think he is if he's only eating a cake shake a day if his entire meal for the day was a cake shake that's fine in my in my opinion that is 100 okay because like i mean you saw what i just did i i sat here and ate an entire large pizza and an order of onion rings in order and an order of fried mushrooms. And that's all I ate today. And, you know, I won't eat again until like it'll be 24 more hours before I eat again. If you're trying to sculpt yourself a little bit, then that's not the way to go about it, right? What you want to do is what Taylor does.

Taylor's looking at the proteins and the zincs and how many riboflavins he has. Lots of zinc. Lots of zinc. He's got some copper, some lead. I literally bought a zinc supplement. Yes, my son. You're actually right. Go forth and be fruitful.

I'm not taking nearly as many as you. I'm not taking 60 milligrams of zinc a day because even the internet says, slow down, buddy. That's too much fucking zinc. But I take, I guess, zinc a day because even the internet says slow down buddy like but i take like i guess 30 a day and the volume increase is actually it's market like you notice it so i think yeah help me as a as a married guy like i i haven't i don't feel like i've been judged on volume for ages. My volume is my volume.

No one's judging on volume. And that is the norm. No one's judging on volume. No, no, it's not a judge. It's just a for fun thing. Yeah. Like, instead of, say, gluing one eye shut, now the whole face is – I was going to say, like, are there ladies out there when Bill Murray gets slimed and, like, they come –

When Bill Murray gets slimed and the other guys run to the corridor and he's standing there all covered. He's like, it slimed me. You're going for that look. I thought you were going for the end when the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man exploded. Everybody's all sticky. Okay, so my impression was that, you know, whatever. You're meeting ladies out there and you do do your business and they're like really you can't completely coat my tummy i need a real man you know swipe left buddy i love these ideas if you're so

i haven't dated it's like it's like talking to an alien about like day-to-day stuff he's like yes yes it's like it's not a real mouse you see this this controls the computer just like it's like a robot but what is love a friend of mine went on a second date well he was going on a second date he ended up getting a rain check but but it was her birthday and he's like what do i do here do i buy her a birthday present do i like you know you don't want to go too heavy on the birthday present and i i was like i don't know show up with a flower or like something and just be like hey these are for you anyway and then i realized like my last second date was in 1992 like it's been a while since i've had a second date let's go watch germinator come on let's go that's a while ago when you put it in years like that like that i

we got a thing going on jackie and i it's been some time i was in first grade oh my god yes smith 1992 the fuck i'm old as a baby but yeah yeah it's not that we're you're being judged about your ejaculate or the volume thereof uh you know it's it's more like oh yeah this is really cool and it is however kind of fun to get that reaction now it's not that you, it's not that you want that reaction necessarily. It's not that you're going for like, oh, I better make a lot of jizz or she's not going to think I'm a man. It's more like there's a point where she's like, oh, oh, okay. Okay, then.

It's just kind of funny she was expecting a third spurt but by the time the seventh one comes out she's a little bit you know you know wow frankly impressed the fertility on this guy of you not like do do women have a preference for consistency right like like do you want to be spraying liquid stuff or like the the frosting side no you do not i mean i'm not a woman but i would imagine that when they are come upon uh-huh you know they want a little bit of a little bit of meat to it you know they want it to look more a little more clam chowdery a little less the liquid at the bottom of the yogurt cup the beginning of the ketchup. I think this is all a personal preference. I feel like I produce a less viscous and more voluminous volume,

more voluminous load than most. But it's definitely not that. I see in pornos sometimes when the guy's finishing, uh but but it's definitely not that i see in pornos sometimes when the guy's finishing and it's like it's like hanging from his dick it's it's just like it like ooze it's like whoa it's you need to drink some water bro you got a high drink they used to sell on nickelodeon like gack gack yeah throw it against the wall and it would stick there for days you know or one of those like silly string uh rubber hands or like sticky hands that you would throw it against the wall and it would stick there for days. Or one of those silly string rubber hands or sticky hands that you would throw up on the ceiling and they'd get stuck and your mom would get mad at you. I think you want a thicker load, right, Kyle?

You don't want the weak, willowy, oh, that's a lot of seminal fluid. The vibe I'm getting is that everyone here is just happy with the load that they produce. I think that's the case i i would not want a more like i like i said i i think i think maybe somewhere in the middle it's it's it's not like a liquid but it's certainly not i want my girl to have to chew we've got a knife and four bitches it's gonna be rough you know it's nice to do a no guest show every once in a while yeah this has gotten disgusting it didn't take us long at all what's happening glue yes it's like elmer's that's what you want you know you want it you

know that's no no absolutely not no i i i no i will say i i put you know i don't know why i have a preference on my own load it seems like i i like it whiter you know like it the whiter the better in my opinion well there are supplements for that as well really talk to me kyle wait what else are you taking other than to get? To get your load on point. It's got a whole drawer. That's all in one drawer by itself. There are many drawers. There are many cabinets. What I don't... Asparagus. Oh my god. So everyone knows asparagus makes your load taste terrible.

If you don't know that, you need to know. It's just common courtesy. I love asparagus. So it's not always coming. Sometimes it'll be peeing. It's like, what what I had asparagus four hours ago already you know like it's through my system that was way too fast I didn't know that it got your cum I knew that it got your pee oh well you need to know that out of courtesy Taylor yeah you're you gotta don't expect anyone to be drinking that within a day or two hang on a goddamn minute of asparagus and huh just imagine just imagine connecting some pieces just imagine

what chiz's load tastes like strawberry shortcake oh my god it's like a Frosty that just came out of that Wendy's machine. Yeah. Oh, it must be delicious. If his body even has the nutrients and minerals required to construct semen anymore. His other job is standing in for broken McDonald's ice cream machines. That's fucking revolting. Welcome to Painkiller already. Oh, man. God, I can't get over his cake shake thing like when he said oh it's

1300 calories duh it's like good fucking god that's over double of what you thought it was like i've never drank a 20 a half gallon of diet coke and thought like oh man that looked just like a 20 ounce the closest i've come to that was uh i was at the grocery store and i usually don't buy snacks like like i eat like shit but one thing i don't do is i i don't i very very rarely buy like cookies or chips or um like candy or anything like that like that doesn't happen like big bags of candy certainly uh but i bought some almonds i bought honey roasted almonds. And, you know, they come in those little containers.

They're quite small. The little blue diamond, right? Yeah, the blue diamond containers. And I want to say I bought two containers of them. And I didn't look at how many calories were in them. And I was just sitting at the computer, maybe doing the show with you guys. And I finished them off. And I looked.

And it was like 700 or 800 fucking calories in one of those little things of almonds. Like, those things are terrible for you. Oh, well, they're good for you. But almonds, like, they're super caloric. Like, any kind of nut or seed has a ton of calories in there. Like, you can taste oil when you bite in, you know? Which is why when you have almonds as, like, a healthy snack, they say, like, have a quarter cup. Whereas, like, if they're honey roasted your

instinct is like to grab two handfuls and that's like that's like as many calories as a cheeseburger from mcdonald's almost yeah it's more yeah like i think i'm guess i'm gonna guess right now that a big mac has 550 calories i'm gonna guess uh 700 well is this just the Big Mac itself? Yes. I'm going to guess 750. I was very close. It's 563. Okay.

It's better to overestimate than underestimate. Yeah. How many calories are in a Whopper? Whoppers are better than Big Macs, and I'll die on that hill. 500. 677. I played the wrong way. I don't know.

That's a big boy burger. Whoppers are bigger. I didn't know. I don't eat there. Yeah, I think it's a quarter pound of beef, right? Hey, do a quarter pounder from Wendy's. I think that's what they're called. It's not.

Whatever the single is. Single from Wendy's. I don't think I've ever had that from Wendy's. I'd, like, never go to Wendy's never had that from Wendy's I'd like never go to Wendy's 420 calories oh okay oh that's with no cheese no onion and no mayo what's the point fuck that's not how they serve it it's absolutely not how they serve it when I go to a 570 I went to uh chipotle today and you can actually eat there pretty healthy even without doing the burrito bowl if you don't get any queso any cheese any sour cream and guac isn't bad for you but it's more calories and so it's basically just i get

brown rice i don't like beans it's texture thing so i get a little extra brown rice and then i get there then i get a full thing of chicken and a full thing of steak and then a ton of the vegetables and then lettuce jalapenos whatever their spiciest salsa well it's i'm trying to be healthy and then instead of being like a 1100 calorie burrito it's like 800 or 700 and you get like 60 grams of protein because you always wait until they put the first scoop of chicken in and then you go oh double meat add steak because then the little skinny girl behind the counter has to give you a full scoop instead of giving you what she thinks is a full scoop right instead of it's like no i'm not five two one ten i'm i don't want your idea of a second when i go to a restaurant i

look at the other people eating there and judge myself by that right if you go to if you go to a restaurant everyone there takes two seats what are you doing there this restaurant is a problem dude yeah have you ever been to a ryan's i've never heard of a Ryan's. Never heard of Ryan's. Okay, Ryan's has a – it's one of those places that has a really big buffet, like all-you-can-eat kind of thing. So you can go in, you can pay like $6, and you just help yourself to all of the things we have. They have self-serve ice cream bar and like salad bar and like all of the things you can imagine.

There's a guy over there with a chef's hat that he didn't earn carving up meats and sausages and stuff. And there's also like a line you can imagine there's a guy over there with a chef's hat they didn't earn carving up meats and sausages and stuff and there's also like a line you can go into and you can kind of like you can get steaks and stuff uh you can order off the menu but everyone gets the buffet because it's like five dollars and fifty cents and it's all you can eat my dad my dad used to force us to go there because he loves salad bars. He loved it. And that's all he was going to get. What a lame thing to like.

He loved it. And he was like, let's go to Ryan's. Every time we would be in this particular city in South Carolina. And me and my sister would always be like, no. No, please, Red Lobster. Red Lobster. Or Olive Garden. Or could we go to Outback Steakhouse?

And then we'd start singing in the back. Let's go out back tonight. And he'd be like, no, we're going to fucking Ryan's. This is going to cost $30. Let's get this done. And the people at Ryan's are a modern day fucking freak show. All right? I have never seen more people with flippers, missing limbs, and more retarded people

than you will see at a fucking Ryan's. So much so that it puts you off your appetite, all right? It's disgusting. Like there's people with cheese all over their face sitting there and nobody's tending to them. It's awful that ryan's was always a fucking shit show and when i became a man when i was a mangrove i made a vow to the moon and stars that i would never fucking go to another ryan's again and i haven't

i haven't i sat in the car last time some friends went into our ryan's i was like fuck you all i'm staying in the fucking car and eating wow you've got unresolved issues from your childhood. Oh, look at the pot calling the kettle black. Fair point, fair point. Have you ever gone to CC's? I mean, I piss myself every time I walk past a T.J. Maxx and see the high heels, but come on, sitting in the parking lot? What's T.J. Maxx and high heels? Oh, when hi oh when she hits yeah those are weapons of choice

for moms is that not normal now the worst thing i ever got hit like i think wooden spoons uh one time my mom couldn't find a wooden spoon though and so she used one of those like black plastic ones like what's metal where it has that black hard plastic coating around it that was way worse really they both sound like weak sauce to me see but i wasn't abused you need to get some stilettos up in there that's yeah my parents only hit me when i deserved it when it was like oh don't tie your brother up uh don't burn things uh and then say it wasn't you. Don't rip the pool liner and then blame it on your brother. All sorts of things. I do remember one time I wrote something with lipstick on the bathroom mirror. And my mom was like, did you do this?

And I was like, no, I don't know how that got there. She accepted it. I'm like, what the? You know, like, you're buying this shit? You know it was me. I know it was me. Everyone knows it was me. Are you just busy?

What did you think it was? She was just like, my arm's sore. I'll let this one slide. Yeah, I don't know how I got away with that one, but I did. So what was the biggest thing either of you ever got away with as a kid? Might have named it. Try to name it. You know, as a teenager, I got away with ridiculous shit.

Like, I slept on the fourth floor of our house. I used to crawl. I'm like 16. I can't drive or anything. I'd scale down the outside of it, down the porches and the downspouts of the gutters. And then I'd go out partying and drinking on weeknights and then climb back in my window. I used to go on the outside of our house all the time. Oh, there's fireworks.

I'd just fucking hop on the roof. It was normal for me. Yeah, I never climbed out the window. I accidentally shot down a power line one time and caused a major blackout over my dad's place. And the power line was on the ground jumping around, sparking, going crazy. And it was a huge problem. And I said that the lightning hit it.

Because dad was out of town at the time and then he bought it until my cousin ratted me out like like four years later or something and then dad brought it up like a year ago and we laughed about it dude there was a i put go ahead you go and then i'll tell my story i put glue all over the kid's chair in kindergarten because i didn't like him and he sat in it and i was expecting it to be a whole thing where like you know you watch like yeah you know movies and so like in my like six-year-old head i'm like oh this is gonna be a hoot with a fucking glue stick over there like i came in from recess earlier and i just caked it on this walking around with the chair until he takes his pants off his name is michael and then he came back in and michael sat back down and in my head i'm like oh he's gonna be totally stuck like they

have to call the fire department or something and then you know all that happened is like a little bit later he just stood up and it went oh it just like was a bunch of dried white glue all over this kid's ass i was so disappointed immediately and uh and yeah i guess i didn't get away with it because i got caught so but i didn't get in trouble it was the first time in my life i realized like wow if you just pretend you're retarded and you're six years old you can get away with whatever you want like they're like you taylor you can't do that it's like oh i didn't even know because i'm wasting supplies i got in trouble first day kindergarten for saying penis i got taken into the hallway and she said that is a no-no word and i said what do i call it and she said don't mention it

that was it wow comments to the power line there's a guy i know a little bit paramotor dude he's landing he doesn't see a power line he's in this race and for some reason wearing a giant feathered chicken suit and uh he hit the power line and knocked out the power to the town and like there were big sparks and it shut off and he wasn't hurt at all he just kind of crashed a little bit and the the police department came the fire department came and he's dressed like a giant chicken and it was quite the hoot i bet the town didn't think so the locals were mixed if i have the story right some of them were upset they had no power other people were like you know can you believe a giant chicken came flying out of the sky and knocked the power out

this is pretty funny i saw that guy crash his paramotor on uh the uh statue of liberty i had seen it before but yeah not but that that predated my my new and enhanced knowledge of paramotoring. So I really understood what a fucking shitshow mess he was in once he was dangling from the fucking Statue of Liberty. I don't know how tall that thing is, but I'm guessing he's up 200 feet or something. Yeah, it seems like a problem. All right, let's take some guesses on this. How tall is the statue of liberty

i'm gonna guess that including the base that guy was 600 feet high oh i'm gonna say i was gonna lie i already looked it up so i'm gonna i'm gonna guess i'm gonna guess uh 275 feet it is 305 feet does Does that include the base? The height of the Statue of Liberty from its pedestal to the tip of its torch is 305 feet and one inch. Oh, how high is the pedestal? So yeah, that's the whole thing. No, you said from the pedestal. The pedestal matters.

That thing is like a couple stories high, I think. Oh, no, it's saying from its pedestal. The pedestal is... Oh, no, it's saying from its pedestal. The pedestal is... All right, so the height of the Statue of Liberty is 251 from the base to the torch. With the pedestal, it is 305. Yes.

That was pretty far off. Okay. That's not as big as... That's lame. I thought it would be much larger than that, right? That's only the football field. No, you clearly didn't. You were underestimating it.

Let's estimate more things. This is fun. I'm winning. Two out of three. What was the other thing that you won on? The calories in a Big Mac. Yes. We can look up other monuments. How tall do you think the Eiffel Tower is? I'm going to guess the

Eiffel Tower is 375 feet. I'm going 1, feet it is uh 984 jesus dude i came closer yes i had no idea how tall is the the brooklyn bridge from the water i don't know well you gotta fucking like that is a tough the whole one The whole thing From the tip to the water Or from the tip to the driving part Are we talking about from the top of the supporting From the water to the top of one of those

Supporting structures Oh Looks like 250 feet Wow I am so high on all of these I'm going 375 kyle wins again 277 277 this is practically like he gets the item in price of right facial awareness i don't even know if i've ever been on it it's been a while how tall is the st louis arch oh that thing's fucking tall i'm

gonna say five no say 575. Based on pictures I've seen on the internet, I'm going to say 675. You guys almost split the difference. 630 feet. Who won? You did. He went over. This is Price of Right.

Oh, you're right. That is not true. That is not true. Price is wrong bob this is gonna be a hit of a topic guess how tall things are hey we're gonna have like hundreds of comments bring back a height i do have a topic that i stored for the week votes way next i wish we had fat people and we could guess how much fat people weighed now that

would be that's gotta be a website i'm looking at did you guys see the topic that i just supplied this is this is a future stream that i'm going to do where i get fat people to come into my room and we guess how much they yeah that would be i love kyle's notepad dude check this out so on carnival cruise and this is fairly recent this is like february 17th the article's from a family of what i can only assume are like fighting gypsies from that brad pitt movie uh started bullying everyone else on a carnival cruise and it became a huge problem they uh I guess it all was that the fight, the fight clip.

I didn't watch the video. Do you want to? I have spent so much time setting it up. Yeah. Before we watched the video, are you sure that that's the story that it was, it was a family of gyppos? No,

the gypsy part I added myself. Because I've seen the video and I feel bad for the people taking the beating. You had added some new flavor to this, and I was like, oh. Yeah, you know. Welcome to the show. Maybe they needed this beating. All right. All right, so let's see.

We'll go to the... Chucks me. It's hard to put this thing... The website has a header on it that makes it hard to put it in. Imagining that they're gypsies. Oh, you're close. Alright, are we ready? Yeah.

3, 2, 1, play. Oh, fuck. What is with the audio? It's not good. It's a lot. I can't wait. It's with the audio? What is happening? Sounds like she's from Australia or a museum. He's going to be the worst security people in the world. That's Why do you say that? Because like when the guy falls down in a bit Like a guy in a white shirt just starts kicking him in the back

Like That's Standard Carnival Cruise procedure And then you can see that woman there Be like oh put that put that camera down corporate's gonna see this boys give them the old hate crime that's it yeah give a bit of spanking there jimmy nice nice jipo according to the article some people think the security acted like thugs themselves

and other people felt like the family just deserved it apparently it all started when someone stepped on a member of this family's thong like a flip-flop not not his not his foot mind you his foot where right like he stepped on his on his flip-flop and the guy got all violent about it and started like picking on him in other scenarios they'd catch him by the pool they'd catch him by like you know at dinner time and you're the fuck who stepped on my flip-flop and uh like he was there in like a big family so and there are people just like trying like how can we can we just bury this hatchet and enjoy our cruise but no that wasn't the way that they rolled they they

wanted to just keep fighting all the time and eventually the the like security got into it and they could barely control it they had cops coming and they had to pull this whole family they pulled the whole family out off the boat and put them on another police boat to be taken away to the brig and people are like fuck you you lost and they're like double finger in the cruise ship as they drive away or I guess float away in the police ship whatever they do bad asses

they were looking for trouble from the minute they got on the ship they even picked up a 16 year old boy because they thought he looked at them this is this is bully behavior it's hard to read with these cables across well did he look at him i don't know actually we need the facts here i mean i mean who hasn't picked up a 16 year old boy all right taylor you know of course children watch from behind a row of sun chairs as dozens

of adults shouted on the far end of the deck. A man got into a brief shoving match with a uniformed staff member, a prelude of the melee to come. Her husband and their three young children... Oh! The security warned her that her husband and three children

should not travel the decks alone. They had to lock themselves inside the cabin. They made a bunch of complaints. Yeah, dude. A family of what I'm saying, the Brad Pitt gypsies, terrorized the rest of the carnival crew. You like dags?

You like dags? Oh, man. I'm so glad we don't have gypsies here. I only know about them, what I've seen in this clip, and internet gossip, but they seem to be surly and unpleasant. We don't know their actions.

Woody's making that up. We don't know. Oh, that's totally not true. I'm sure that's not right. I've made my decision. You know what I think they actually are? And this might be, right? I don't know.

We don't have them here either. I think they're bogans, right? The, like, Australian underclass who drink too much i think they prefer people of color in this i don't think they're actually they're white people bogans uh but it's like white trash from australia but a little more drinky and a little more violent whereas our white trash is just underperforming in society bogan a bogan an australian and new zealand slang for a person whose speech clothing attitude and behavior is considered unrefined or unsophisticated depending on the context the term can be pejorative or self-depreciating and the picture they have of this guy like to drive home the

definition he's wearing a mac truck hat he's cross-eyed and he's got a rat tail they're australian rednecks yeah Yeah. Okay. But a little more violent-y and drink-y I think is part of the Australian rednecks. Okay. My rednecks, I think...

Violent? Alcoholic? Hmm. That incestuous and we've got a home run. To me, American rednecks are... Well, actually,

there's all kinds of rednecks but the American white trash is what I'm going for. American white it's kind of like underperforming uh weight issues probably drinking issues but that's amphetamine crack math yeah but more like i associate american white trash as being like a little lazy and lack of ambition and education not so much looking for fights on carnival cruises they buy a lot of bird seed at walmart well a carnival cruise is a pretty white trashy vacation isn't it is carnival one of the nice ones or no i've never taken a cruise i don't have the biggest ships i don't know you

always with disney though right yeah yeah that's the only cruise i think i've ever done is that is that the nice one? I'm asking. I don't know. I do think it's more expensive, but I don't know that the ship is much better. It's just that most ships can't handle kids very well. The class of passengers is much better. The other ones don't cater towards families as much as Disney does.

Yeah. So, like, I don't know. You ever see any cool shit from the cruises like like whenever i see the commercials for these cruises they're like they're up by alaska and they're near icebergs and there's fucking whales jumping out of the water and shit like like does that ever happen or is it just blue water as far as the eye can see for 15 days so the ones i want we used to do the special ones more i mean we've done like caribbean cruises and stuff but it would be more like oh look they're relocating the ship they do it twice

a year from like europe to america so it's going to like spin around the mediterranean and finish in florida and those were the ones that we targeted where they do like special shit but um my parents did the one that goes to alaska and they would see the kind of thing you're talking about apparently the land is much closer to the ship than you'd expect like like you could maybe throw a baseball on the land for miles and miles whereas where i was and dude the the sea conditions are i think this is people are going to ask for this topic again and again i'm sure of it but but yeah it was glassy and like windless and still on the atlantic which was kind of shocking to me i just expected it to be like a bigger deal but we did one where started california went to hawaii

then mexico and then back to california and uh that was like victory at sea like like i'm standing leaning forward into the wind and the ship is like coming up and slamming down and spray is going six stories high and like that was a pretty neat experience too i don't know if i get seasick but i don't want to take a cruise and find out oh i do yes that's why we don't do it anymore i was like oh my god this is my 10th cruise i spend the entire time with like low grade sweating and feeling a little bad waiting for the next dock have you ever seen is just getting drunk and playing shuffleboard and like you don't even drink and so what what are you doing just getting sunburned vomiting

we take the kids to the pool um there were like i hope would make a whole group of friends and she would really enjoy that and um there's they on a lot of cruises they dock like every second day or so and on there that you know you'd whatever like go to i can't pronounce it tunzia tunzia there's a call of duty map uh anyway or t map anyway or Tanzania is that it is that it I'm not sure I was trying to think of a Call of Duty map anyway anyway they'd go to places and we'd go to like the Vatican or whatever

and just like check shit out Parthenon Coliseum I don't know whichever one's in Italy but yeah cool stuff I enjoyed it I swam with like 1500 stingrays that was kind of neat. Ooh, that's dangerous. Get that Steve Irwin treatment.

I guess it could be. No, but Steve Irwin, he was fucking with it. Was he? Yeah, he was trying to pick it up. How dare you? That man is an international treasure. A thingy, a stingray bummer. He's great, and I love him.

Oh, back it off now huh stick with it taylor dude that south park joke was one of the darkest most hilarious things they'd ever done when when steve irwin's in hell oh it's like there's like a halloween there's like a halloween party in hell and satan's like oh that's not cool bro you came as steve Steve Irwin? He's like, oh, I am Steve Irwin. He's like, oh, that's dark. That's dark. No costume. You got to go. What was it?

Hell on Earth 2006. I think that's the episode. Wow. Impressive. Yeah. That's some real autism. For South Park. I've been watching Family Guy again.

I don't... Do either of you like Family Guy? Peter! I've seen every episode of Family Guy. I am not a giant fan of it, but there's something about that kind of humor that I really enjoy. I think you just have to look at it

as a completely different kind of humor. I think that people, like, sometimes they'll compare all animated comedies. They're like, oh, it's no Simpsons. Or it's no South Park. It's not trying to be. It's not trying to be those things. It's its own thing.

They've got their own kind of humor. They've got their own kind of continuity going on. It should be judged by itself. And man, some of their jokes are so dark. And so fucked up it's uh i enjoy it yeah yeah i like family guy a lot it's like you don't have to be paying attention to a whole episode like you can be doing something else and just pop in totally there's five laughs a minute yeah like like there's just jokes about rape and molestation and terrorism and abortions and, you know, just names.

They called like a couple of the molesters and like sexual harassers at that time where they're like, oh, help, I've just escaped from Kevin Spacey's basement. Yeah, you know, you fire enough bullets, you're going to hit something. They didn't fire that many, though. That's the thing. They just knew basement you know with the stewie buttons you know you fire enough bullets you're gonna hit something they didn't fire that many though that's the thing they just knew you know I wonder if they did like I don't know if it was Spacey but maybe I'm thinking of who's that like say it again

Brett Ratner that's not who I'm searching for though he was like an executive producer kind of a big shot oh Weinstein that's who I'm going for like weinstein i feel like everybody knew just no one said anything so maybe they said something like maybe that's how they got a good ratio of hits to misses there's the one where peter befriends the terrorist i think i remember that one yeah yeah it was it was it was eerily like the Boston bombing.

So they... They called that, huh? They did call that. But instead, I want to say Peter was winning. It's been a while since I've seen it. And there's so many Family Guy episodes. It's one of those shows that has like 30 episodes a season, I think. I don't know, 20 or so.

And there's lots and lots of seasons. So there's hundreds of episodes, seemingly. But it seems like Peter was trying to win the boston marathon and he was just he was just driving his car crushing people or something like that oh wow i was gonna change topics not sure if we're wrapped up on this i think i'll wait no go ahead so i don't know if it was a pka or n i brought up guns briefly and i was like you know it seems like this time might be different like it has a little more momentum i think at the time taylor felt like the is it sandy hook you know had just as much and nothing happened and there was a democratic president at that time you know this was even harder to

make things happen it seems like this time's a little different the big difference i see is that the teenagers have like social media savvy you know and they're going up there and talking on camera and not seeming like idiots they're not perfect they're not polished you know 15th time on fox or msnbc or whatever type people but they're speaking fairly eloquently and making their points and the common like let's not use this strategy to politicize it doesn't diffuse it when the victims are like hey no let's and i don't know is this time different no i don't know if it's i don't think it's going to be different well i think some stuff's going to happen like i listened to trump's entire like 50 minute like round table discussion thing today and And it seemed like the things that

he wants, he talked about making the schools safer, and they went at length about how to do that. And his thing is arming certain teachers that are qualified within the schools, and also raising the age to purchase a semi-automatic weapon to 21 years old because right now you can buy a semi-automatic rifle in many states. This would be a state issue by the way. In many states you can buy a semi-automatic rifle at the age of 18. So he's changing that. So I'm assuming through their wording that there'd be a... you could still buy a bolt gun, a bolt action rifle, or a lever action rifle, or a pump action at 18, which

that sounds good to me. And then they keep talking about comprehensive background checks. But I noticed that when his press secretary was being cross-examined, if you will, after the fact, they were like, well, would there be any elimination of and she she she mentioned the figment of imagination uh known as the gun show loophole which basically which which in reality is the loophole where you can sell a what do you can sell a gun a private seller it's a private seller thing it's it at gun shows you get a background check because they're vendors with with with licenses typically Yeah. So they talked about that. And I don't know. Trump, there's an interesting disparity

between what Trump was saying and reality because there's this thing where he was like, oh, yeah, the NRA and I are on the same page. Like, we're in agreeance on this. But then the NRA's position is like, no, we're not raising the on this but then the nra's position is like no we're not lower raising the age to to purchase any any weapons we're not on board with that but trump's like oh yeah we're all on board we're all on board we're all in agreeance i spoke to them several times the last

couple days or that might not be true also like he might not have ever spoke to them and said oh he's spoken to him i believe in this case but i've seen other cases where he's like, oh yeah, this guy and I just agreed on this. And the other guy is like, nah. The other guy's like, we've never met. It puts him in a tight position, though, if you think about it. They're like, shit, I didn't agree with it, but he just told 35 million people that I did.

I can never reach all 35 million of those people and tell them it's bullshit. So either I'm going to look like a jackass liar or I can toe the line. God damn it, he beat me again. I trust the NRA. Their policy on guns way more than I trust Trump on his gun policy. Yeah, he's making it up as he goes along. He did a good job today, I thought.

But he's still Trump. He's still Trump. He's still pretty ignorant about a lot of things but what i appreciated about it the most is how he didn't have to let those cameras in there and do that whole thing right and like they didn't edit anything out of it while it was a tape session it was recorded live and there was no editing to it uh done to it he has a lot of confidence in his ability to thrive in that situation like there there was another one. I remember what it was, but the Republican,

Oh, I think it had to do with immigration. And he's like, I'm going to go here. I'm just going to listen to everybody. And, and there were moments where he would like agree with a Democrat and then agree with a Republican and they'd said different things,

but he agreed with both. But yeah, I feel like he feels like he is his own best advocate. So he's not afraid to get on camera and do his speaking himself ever. And much better speakers would be terrified of that. Like you wouldn't see Obama or George Bush in those positions. Their representation wouldn't allow it. They wouldn't put the president in a position where they weren't in control of all of the possible factors.

Right. Like they're just throwing him out seat of the pants yeah they're really throwing him to the wolves like like uh i want to say yesterday he was in there with like some of the survivors and they're and easily one of those kids could have gone off on him right but he's just yeah let's go let's go talk to him and it's live that one was live so i guess i like how trump's handling this thing. I feel like he's certainly not, he's talking about all of the potential things, right? He's talking about some gun control stuff. Obviously, he's expediting the bump stock stuff toward the ATF and Justice Department.

I think that's good PR for him. He's talking about the mental health aspect of it. He kind of went off on a tangent today about mental health facilities. He's like, you know, they got rid of them all. There aren't any mental health aspect of it. He kind of went off on a tangent today about mental health facilities. He's like, you know, they got rid of them all. There aren't any mental health facilities anymore. And I think what he meant to say was asylums, right? Like, we don't have any nut houses anymore. What do they call them? You know, God, a crazy house.

No crazy houses anywhere. When I was a kid, they were all over the place. You just gave them a little bit of bread, a little bit of water, they're fine. They keep them away from society. Like, no. He literally said that. He was like, a lot of communities

don't want them in their community. Well, I think one of the biggest mistakes that we made in New York was when the governor got rid of our mental health facility. We're gonna bring them back. And next time when we got a case like this sicko that shot up this school in Florida, he hasn't committed any crimes but he's mentally ill

we can lock him up on that basis and that ties into a homeless problem too i don't want to he said that he was like right he said right now a lot of them are just out on the streets yeah and i was like some truth to that that is that's true i see crazy people i can tell lots of the homeless people here in st louis are fucking crazy like you say it's funny but yeah they're they're like literally mentally ill you know they're dangerous we have multiple hammer related murders there's there's a homeless guy out there rufus perhaps you know who's going around with a claw hammer beating the shit out of other homeless people and every once in a while you'll see it in the dispatch you know hammer murder at a fourth and broadway it's like again

yeah they got rid of the whole the asylums i don't want to call them as a budget thing i think it was under reagan but i'm not positive about that didn't they uh they just made them uh part of regular hospitals right is, is what they did. I think they changed a lot of the regulations, right? If there was a group of people who were actually funded to go out and catch crazies, right? Like dog catchers, right? Just put a big net on them, throw them in the van. I was picturing the net.

You read my mind. We're all on the same page with this policy like one of those expert fishermen and like a third world country and he does that fancy like half spin and he throws the net the gladiator net now see i was close i pictured a gigantic butterfly net will you put it on top of it well that's what i was picturing too but i think that that fisherman's net could be much more effective. You could catch several crazies at the same time. What if it launched from some sort of modified gun, right? Where it just spread out

and you could capture all the... I like that idea even more. Or it just shoots out those things that like Australian aborigines throw at animals, like those two... Or no, maybe it's africans i don't know like those balls with a string in between it and like you throw it and it's a bolo right a bolo yeah what if it launched the giant net at people and is a distraction technique

confetti at the same time and this little sparkles came everywhere and the net came flying at you while you were distracted i feel like our homeless crazies are an um are a huge untapped uh resource that i mean this you could do so much with them dehydrate them and burn them for fuel no they should be peddling i don't know they should be peddling like uh like hamster wheels somewhere and that should be el Musk's next thing. Get all the homeless in Los Angeles peddling hamster wheels for a small amount of food a day. Right? Like, oh, it'd be just like that Darker Mirror episode where everybody's peddling the bikes or whatever. Do that with the homeless.

Black Mirror. Is that what it's called? I thought I said Black Mirror, but I meant Black Mirror. Oh, OK. is that what i thought i said black beer i meant black beer oh okay um yeah someone needs to catch that homeless guy who's still every saturday morning walks down the alley adjacent to where i live and yells incoherently i will hear him at the end of the alley on like saturday morning at nine in the morning i'll hear oh and then like 15 seconds later when in the morning I'll hear ahhhh and then like 15 seconds later when he gets closer I'll hear

ahhhh and then eventually he gets up right adjacent to me and I hear ahhhh and then he takes a right and it goes it fades away because it's early and I'm tired and I don't want to

open the window make a vlog of course that's what't want to language Taylor open the window Make a vlog of course See how he replies I want to see this God, but see God I wish Rufus would hammer murder him spare us jesus christ so i i'm watching a new tv show i discovered it like an hour or two before we started the show tonight it's called uh i think it's called the first son of texas let me get that right it's starring pierce brosnan you know double uh the guy who plays James Bond. First son of Texas. I want to make sure I'm right. Yeah, yeah.

First son of Texas. And it's on AMC. And it's really good. It's a Western. So it takes place. So they kind of jump back and forth in time between when Pierce Brosnan is an adult. And he's like a huge cattle baron. And he's got some real issues

with uh mexican banditos coming and like messing with him and uh it goes back in time to when he was a boy and he's uh dealing with comanche indians and stuff and it's really good so far i've watched two episodes of it it's it's it's about as violent as you can fucking get on AMC. So he's a cowboy. This is like as America's settling. Not exactly. So the Comanche part when he's a boy is like 1849. And then the part where he's like an adult is like 1915. So he doesn't have a revolver. He's got a 1911.

But everybody's cowboys, because it's texas and so that you know he's got a uh like one of those model a cars or whatever like model t's whatever um but he's got a you know cowboy hats and they're riding horses out on the ranch and dealing with these mexican bandits and he's a very violent rough customer because he grew up fighting the comanches so he's got his own way of dealing with things so at one point he cuts a man's ear off um he's he's pretty shifted the time a little bit right because there's tons of stuff that took place in i don't know what to call it like the west world time civil war time like right around there is that right i don't i was like outlaw josie wales that's that's like right at the side or you know

that whole scene has been covered pretty well they just shifted a little bit moderner yeah yeah it's all like 1850 to like 18 like 80 it seems like most of the cowboy western stuff and i i like this because they're a little bit more modern you know they're not like scraping to get by like like and that's kind of the thing. He's like a cattle baron at this point. And sort of dealing with the... Oil is becoming a thing. So he wants to get oil derricks on his property.

And the Mexicans are fucking with that. I'm liking it a lot. It seems to be well acted. And very violent. Did you say where you found it? Is it Netflix? AMC. So I watch it

on Sling. Same place I watch Walking Dead. Segway. Brand new episode of Walking Dead on Sunday. Oh. I thought you guys were kind of over that. You were like, this sucks. Lay it out, Kyle. It sucks.

It's fucking stupid. It's pissing me off but i'm invested bro i know i've been watching this for eight years now i'm not gonna not see how it ends this is like four girlfriends ago when i was watching this shit like like but you guys were saying that it's not ever gonna end it's just like an anthology or not i'm in with rick keeps getting worse i'm in with rick all right if rick ever dies then i'm done all right this to me this is the rick show it's a rick tatership i am here for rick's story it began when rick you know gets out of the hospital all foggy and i've been following

rick this whole time i don't give a fuck what what what what does wings say i don't give a dog shit about i don't know what you're trying to refer to i'm sure it's popular phrase he's got it it's one of his catchphrases like i don't give two dog shits about like michonne or whatever he says michonne or uh or or or any of the supporting casting maggie don't care don't get fuck maggie because maggie so uh for people to know maggie came on in season two she became like a really popular regular in season three she is like parallel to rick ish in that she sort of runs her own community on the hillside and she's having contract negotiation issues uh she's not paid nearly as much. If there's three sort of main stars,

they are probably Rick, Daryl, and Maggie. Yeah. Rick and Daryl are paid handsomely, and Maggie's paid shit. And she's trying to sort that out, and she might leave because of it. Did you see my Walking Dead character? No, I don't know anything about it. My Fallout character.

Oh, yeah, you gave her, like, a custom vag? I... I... Not a custom vag. Like, it's the way I like it, but... She's wearing clothes in this. Did you select an option for her vagina? She's from Portal, right?

No. So, it's Maggie. I made it look like Maggie from The Walking Dead. That's the only reason I brought it up. I don't know what Maggie looks like, but I'm sure it's a great rendition. I think it is. I mean, I enhanced her a little bit. Oh, did the kid die?

We don't know yet, but almost certainly. Up until now, a torso bite has been an absolute death sentence. Okay. For him to survive that, somebody's got come up with some some medical know-how now here's the only thing the only thing that makes me think that maybe he survives first of all the actor that plays carl was quick to get on twitter and be like whoa i didn't know this was coming i'm not too happy about this maybe that's a maybe that's to trip us up though because like two episodes before that rick saw that helicopter fly over right remember that and

he was like what the fuck helicopter maybe the helicopter people have something that can cure carl's bite right for people who don't watch the show uh i hope not canon is this if you get bit on like the arm or the leg you have to amputate that and you have to do it in a hurry otherwise you're done and like kyle said if you get i think he was bit on like the rib cage or just under a nipple or something like that yeah if you get bit there there is nothing you can do no one has ever survived that it it's not even a question of survival it's just guaranteed descendants um now on twitter he's acting like it's over, right? I didn't realize it. I never noticed. But you know how he lost an eye? Yeah.

He's been aiming with the eye patch for years now. Did you notice that? I didn't notice that. But I noticed that he was holding the gun. Presumably, if I had lost my right eye, I would start shooting left-handed. He did that. I would pull my head all the way to the side. So when I saw him talking about it, he was saying that he switched his holster from one

side to the other and he shot pistols left-handed but on long rifles which is anything that's not a pistol for people don't know uh for a long gun he just it was too awkward for him so he has been looking through the scope with his eye patch for years now. And I didn't notice it, but apparently it's a big Twitter thing. It's been trending. People are talking about it. And he finally came out. He's like, well, I guess it's all said and done now. Yeah.

It just felt like I didn't have the muscle memory to do it the right way. So I've been looking through the scope with my eye patch for ages. Or iron sights or whatever. It's not like he's shooting real bullets anyway, right? Not even real blanks. Yeah, not even real blanks he's going bang just shaking the gun a little bit what were you saying taylor is uh is the fandom pissed off about his potential death or is he a character where people are like who cares at this point all right so he was i want to say three four years ago he was kind of hated you know his acting was bad They made fun of him, et cetera. But he's young.

So now I don't know how old he is. I'll say he's like 19, 18. So he's really changed a lot as a human in those years. And I want to say he's a little more beloved now than he used to be. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I hope he dies. I hope they all die. That would be a great way i i wish they would

all fucking die i i really do and it was it would just be rick alone just rick that's all i care about i don't care about the rest of that group maybe i would like it it was just rick and negan like like if everyone else died and they were like well it's just us you know it's in the comics rick lost his hand and i want that to happen in the show it's too expensive you think or what but i thought that no no because because like because they they said you know they that's one of the main things he regretted was taking rick's hand what i like in the show every so often they like hint that he might lose it yeah like it when he first met negan the guy took a Sharpie and drew it across.

I'm trying to get on camera. And drew it across his wrist. Like, I'm going to cut you right here with an axe. And everyone is like, oh, my God. Is it going to catch up to the comics? But they knew what they were doing. They didn't. But, yeah.

Yeah. I'm glad. I don't want him to lose his wrist. I like Rick. He's the best part of that show. He's the best actor on the cast. Fuck all those other people, and fuck their stupid writing, and their terrible storylines.

Their terrible action scenes. And their terrible action scenes, and most of all, their terrible gun scenes. I wish they'd run out of fucking bullets and just have to go hand-to-hand. But unfortunately, that fucking fat ass that's over at negan's place has got him a bullet factory nile so there's just going to be endless bullets now for them to

fake spray at everything it's it's it's an abomination of a show the uh the western i mentioned light years better as far as like realism and stuff i don't know because there haven't been very many gunfights you know it's yeah i i didn't realize how much i valued realism or at least like gun fu until john wick right john wick reloads every time he fires enough bullets to reload which is pretty cool keanu reeves developed real gun skill like he's he's much better than i am like he's actually good. And I didn't realize how much that was important to me. I always thought the Arnold Schwarzenegger and Liska bullet guns and stuff were fine.

Until I saw it done well. Once it's done well, everything else sucks. Yeah, man. So let's look at this girl who says that she spends a thousand pounds of her parents' cash a week to maintain this look of Barbie. A thousand pounds a month. Let's not be ridiculous, Kyle.

Oh, of course. That would be silly. I would absolutely do unforgivable things to this girl if she looks hot. Can I just say, the top picture, I think, is in her most Barbie. But as you scroll down, you'll see a lot more images. There's one image of her, like a full front-facing photo where you get to see her waist.

Wow. And then if you scroll down more, I think you get to see the before. Oh, goodness. How do humans look like that? Holy smokes, the ratio. Did she have ribs removed? Because that body is fucking insanely hot it's it's it's unnatural yes yeah it's hot yeah i'm all about that it's it's i'm

watching the little video right now she's like i don't believe in a natural look i think there's hardly anything natural today oh yeah i think she got her ribs cut out maybe those titties are so fake dude i uh as pedo as this might sound, on the screen right now is her at 14 before the transformation. Oh, yeah, she's hot. Yeah, yeah, she is a pretty girl, 14. Now, should people be encouraging this? Yes, this should be the new aesthetic.

Now, I'm fine with the aesthetic, but this is clearly on a level a mentally ill person trying to become a doll. No more so than those bodybuilders who are at the gym every day for six hours and eating buckets of chicken on the subway and shit. Like, oh, yeah, I got more gains, bro. Like, no.

Look, this is a little weird, I'll admit. But she's not hurting herself. Oh, absolutely. Like, no. Look, this is a little weird, I'll admit. But she's not hurting herself. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, I'd marry it, right? Like, look at her. Oh, it's so fucking hot. If she were here, I'd propose.

Yeah. I don't know, man. I can see the hotness. I can see it. But I guess I like actual women more. Those titties are too big. I'm not a fan of that. I can see it, but I guess I like actual women more. Those titties are this big. If you watch the video, you get to see what she actually looks like because that first photograph can be a bit deceiving

because she is like the human equivalent of one of those fondant cakes that they've turned into something that looks unnatural. She's got so much makeup on in that that you're not really getting to see what she looks like. But if you kind of scroll around in that video... Oh, is that her from behind? No, that's somebody else. That's her making fun of someone.

The first picture is... You know, like you said, it's a little too made up. I wonder what she would look like. These boobs are outrageous. They're great. They're fantastic. Now, you see, I feel like I'm getting some inconsistency on you guys. Because sometimes you're not a fan of fake boobs.

And here you are clearly. I'm always a fan of fake boobs. Well, I might have missed the falsely accused Kyle. I'm a fan of boobs. I mean, well, I think the only thing Kyle and I have said is that if a fake boob is done badly, it can feel unnatural and like the skin is stretched too taut and it's clearly not- That's clearly the case here. I don't know.

I don't know. Maybe she had big boobs naturally beforehand. I'm watching her move around. They're kind of jiggly. Can you look at the picture just below the video? I guess I need to look at the video. Yeah, look at her in that fucking carriage. You get driven around by those horses, you slut. Yes. Your titties bouncing around. Yeah, look at her in that fucking carriage. You get driven around by those horses, you slut. Yes. Your titties bouncing around. Yeah, I'm a big bitch.

Her lips are too big. That's my only critique. This video player doesn't seem to have volume control. Just mute and unmute. I just muted it. Yeah, I just muted it.

I didn't care what she had to say. I can't imagine caring what she has to say. Shut up, you. A lot of poignant thoughts wow she doesn't look she's way prettier in the still photos like like her jawline her chin her thin neck she's a little roundy faced in the video oh i don't mind one bit i think she looks hot in the video too what do you like she's a little pre-fat i don't know oh come on you see it right you see it literally weighs 105 pounds i'm being a goof i know well she just fell in her high heel well they're her platform shoes i don't know those

like effective weapons wedges whatever she's and she she couldn't wait like if if she didn't have those gigantic tits, she's like 105 pounds. They're 15% of her body weight, those boobs. Yeah, that's perfect ratio. You want your girl to be about 20 to 80 tit to body ratio. I think, you know, if you combine the tits and ass, that should be half a girl. I agree. I would prefer if you could just get that by itself, right? Get rid of the whole

girl and just have some... And, you know, I was about to go into a Dennis Rills moment where, like, oh, yeah. You just remove them from the girl and you have them without all of that other nonsense. That's a buffalo bill, I think, actually. Would you fuck me?

In Silence of the Lambs. I'd fuck me. Is that his name? Who was the guy in Silence of the Lambs? Did I get it right? Yeah, Buffalo Bill. Yeah. What was his real name, though?

It was... Fuck. Fuck. Jodie Foster. What did you i can still i can hear her fucking country accent saying it uh well look i gotta look this hot chick walking next to like a more normal woman james gum james gum good fucking job oh it's her mom yeah jamie gum jamie gum like she's got that fucking country accent. I,

that's one thing I always, I always like, like you talk about Maggie earlier. I notice if, if like Southern accents are like weird or like off, or if, if they get a single, you know,

syllable wrong or a single vowel song, uh, sound wrong. Maggie's from the walking dead. And most of the actors in the walking dead. Cause they, they hail from Atlanta. She's wearing a corset. At least in to get that ratio did she well i'm looking at the

front on picture right um but she's in front of a very nice house you're right you're completely right i was looking at the video and i saw the corset and thought whoa well that brings it back into like feasibility but as you mentioned in that other picture there's her naked belt well fucking hot fucking hot i i'm all about this they i they shouldn't give this lady any shit at all there's so many freaks out there that made themselves look bad and she's actually made herself look i wouldn't say it's natural but okay no it's not as you say that her boob job surgery footage is on like i wouldn't say it's natural yeah i have nothing wrong with that i'm a big fan yeah i don't have an issue with boob jobs either i've never uh seen one in real life like up close but i assume it's

fine i don't have any problem with women who do it. You know, sometimes they can go terrible. Sometimes they can be absolute monstrosities. That can be fucked up and it can ruin a person. And it can be like, oh, God, nothing could be this bad. This is terrible. I can't remember her name. There's a lady, I think she starred on Baywatch for a little bit. Pamela Anderson.

It's not her, though. And she dated a quarterback from the Eagles. Anyway, like an unflattering picture of her got out. Like, I think her belly and her booty. Oh, Tara Reid? Yeah, I think it was Tara Reid. Oh, yeah, her fucked up tits. Yeah, you can Google that.

Yeah, it's incredibly embarrassing. Yeah, it's bad. You know what? I always thought highly of her boyfriend after those came out. What was his name? It wasn't... donovan mcnabb i think it was and they were dating at the time those pictures came out and like he never said boo about it he knew he knew what the scoop was that was their private little secret that that her plastic surgeries went so poorly. Are you sure that Tara Reid dated? Not anymore. I'm looking for it, but I just don't think that's accurate.

I mean, Tara Reid's tits before the boob job were fantastic. For those of you who are listening, what you want to do is, like, Google search Tara Reid wardrobe malfunction or something like that, and basically she's, like, in front of a large group of, like, Hollywood photographers, and she's,

like, smiling and, like, being friendly, and, you know, this flash is going off, and then her titty falls out, and she doesn't realize that her titty has fallen out, and the flash is intensified, intensify, the rate of them. And it becomes just a... A flash is going off. And she's like, oh my god, they're loving me!

They're loving me! And she doesn't realize that they're all just photographing her ruined titty that's hanging out until some lady comes over and pulls the strap of her dress back up. It's pretty sad. Oh yeah, here it is. Yeah. Yeah, this lady walking over trying to put it back up.

Oh, she knows her tits out. Jesus Christ. She did not know. That's a thing that women don't know sometimes. Yeah, you can't tell. I mean, I feel like I know if my dick was swinging around. Yeah, if one of my testicles slips through my jean zipper, it's going to take me zero seconds to be up.

A ball sack's out, you know? A nut's out. It wasn't very covered beforehand, though, right? Like, if you were wearing some sort of a loose-fitting, like... No, you can't even say that. Caveman thing. When you're wearing your boxers around, and you're walking through your house,

you know, like, the boxers that don't have the button on it where, like, your penis will just come through? You know immediately. Instantly, you know. You don't go, oh, my God, my penis is out, like, four minutes later. I tried to Google the Donovan McNabb thing. I found countless like

pictures of her wearing a midnight jersey tara reed likes donovan mcnab i didn't find any like total confirmation they were fucking so that's where that stands well let me tell everyone a bit about stitch fix you can tell a guy who's got style he's always got great he's he always looks great and seems confident like he's ready for anything. Well, that takes a certain skill set that not all of us were born with. But now there's an easy way to look better. Let me tell you about Stitch Fix for men. Stitch Fix is the new way to shop for clothes that's unbelievably simple. Just go to stitchfix.com and answer some questions about your sizes

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Look better. Dude, I went down to Tara Reid. The shirt's from Stitch Fix. Rabbit hole. You look good. Yeah. Thank you. That's nice. And I guess I'll share this. This is nothing here. Not safe for work. went down to tara read the shirts from stitch fix rabbit hole you look good yeah thank you that's nice and uh i guess i'll share this there's nothing here not safe for work um check out this poor

woman like this is looking good she has body issues dude oh look at her ass oh no right now i get it she's probably 40 something in this so she's not gonna look 19 but those legs look like grandma like oh her ass is gone she is fading in this picture she's atrophied she's she's 42 i like that i like the front on picture where she's wearing some sort of futuristic space boots. To me, the whole groin region is wrong. I don't know. It looks like you can put your finger into either side underneath it and not touch the underwear or her pussy.

I want that pussy to be atrophied. It's like a wind tunnel. It's just very odd. If you look at the bottom one, she's all fake boob and bone. That's all I want. She's sitting and you kind of see her from the back. Yeah, it's disgusting. Her spine is sticking out in a way that makes it look like there's something very wrong with her spine.

Yeah, it is nice and straight. I'm diagnosing her as not having scoliosis. I don't know. There's something wrong with that. Yeah, that's not a great look. She needs to put on a good, like, seven pounds or so. I'm just looking at a woman with lifelong body dysmorphia issues. When she's already very thin,

and then she decides to cut down to that level of thinness, she's fucked. No, I'm okay with it. She just needs a fake ass, and she'll be okay. She needs to put on about 15 pounds. She needs to keep smoking those Marlboro Lights she's got there, whether those will keep the weight off.

You mean she needs to smoke more? Have you heard her talk? No. It's all talking like this. Her voice is like this, just like Petersau sometimes sometimes she was great in sharknado 8 though so you know she's on the please tell me there isn't actually a sharknado 8 i think they're making sharknado 4 or something like that sharkpocalypse or something crazy ever watch the show taradice no do you remember that when it was on like uh vh1 or something like 2000 and it was just her

being like a stupid whore all around the world and like she would never participate in the things it was like uh it was like god what the hell is a moaning of life or uh uh an idiot abroad but it was an idiot broad with a dump should have been called yeah an idiot broad. With a dump plug. That's what it should have been called. Yeah, an idiot broad is what it should have been called. And she wasn't as funny as Carl Pilkington. Like, she would go, and they'd be like, all right, Tara, are you ready to windsurf? She'd be like, oh, my God, I don't even know if I need another cigarette before I go try and windsurf.

I don't know if I want to do it. It's so crazy. I was so drunk last night. I don't even know. I'm so hungover. Like, we went to a club, and our posture was even bigger than Brittany's. And it was like, Brittany, everybody's looking at us like, what are you doing here? Oh my god, you must be paid.

It was that kind of shit. And then it would show her just not participating. You know what the best... She would just not mountain climb or not do this. And it was just her being a dumb whore all over the place. You know what the best MTV... It was good when I was like 11. No, the best MTV reality show was good when i was like 11 no the best mtv reality show

ever breaking bonaduce did you ever see that shit with danny bonaduce i never watched more than oh my fucking god it's like they started this reality show just as he's having a life crisis like a legit one like first of all you know he's danny bonaduce like the child star now he's all grown up he's a 40 year old ginger man who who does steroids and pumps a lot of iron has severe rage issues and abuses alcohol there's no like i love the oh i didn't realize he was the guy from partridge family he there's an episode where he's got i don't remember if he had a chaser maybe he had some cranberry juice but i just remember him drinking a bottle of vodka about yay big and one very quick setting he just belted it down and then just go skate skateboarding through traffic he would go into rages and like

like like attack people and stuff and and like have crazy screaming and and rage uh sessions it was great it was so real and so raw it was it was legit like like you could tell that the people in tv were like we had no idea if we were gonna get this we thought it was just the guy from the partridge family he just had a good holy shit he's a he's a steroid abusing rage monster alcoholic this is great because and i i want to say he's like shooting up steroids on camera and stuff like he's got his vials in his fridge it was great he's a big boy i mean i it looks like breaking bonaduce was on for one year

they wanted more 2005 to december 2006 yeah yeah they they wanted more. It was his decision for them not to be any more breaking Bonaduce. I had a friend. How could he possibly have that Partridge family money still? You know, like, seems like he'd be desperate. I don't know. Anyway, sorry, Woody, go ahead. I had a friend of a friend who was on MTV Road Rules,

and he was a real good-looking guy. He was a black guy, i i can't remember his name i thought it was lamar and i'm looking through the cast i can't seem to find it but uh he had done some work for j crew as a model and then he got picked up at mtv road rules and he made good money like i don't know 85 grand or something to do a season and then he'd get picked up again by mtv road rules and they like they did something else like a challenge or a best of competing and he just did it again and again and like i was working so hard in my career and my you know go to school at night and all that fun stuff

and this guy seemingly just because he was good looking was getting these mtv shows repeatedly and i was very envious i want to look him up i wonder if he has a wikipedia page i can see what he's up to did i lose you no no okay i have like a ring in my ear but i think it's just my head i was looking at tara reed some more man this is not a good look poor poor gal i would definitely oh man i'd still i would definitely do her though right wouldn't you no no well i know you wouldn't you're married but you're not married and in this situation yeah you'd still fuck tara reed no i don't i i i think i could pick up way hotter chicks than than her, she's total psycho.

It's not she's your top. It's would you still fuck Tara Reid? And I would for sure. Yeah, I'd be all up in that. I don't think so. I feel like I could go to the supermarket right now and find 15 women that are better looking. I don't think so.

Depends on the supermarket you go to. Whole Foods, maybe. That's fair. You're not going to go to fucking Aldi and find anybody competing. I want Tara Reid to have my baby. I would be all over that. Yeah, why not?

It's Tara Reid. You want her to have your babies? No, but I'd like her to pay me some sort of reverse child support. You want to treat her like a school and shoot a bunch of kids inside her? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Absolutely.

Nice. Yeah. I didn't even flinch. No, of course not. I knew you would. I was thinking about that gif I made the other day. Oh, yes. What gif?

Did I catch it? It was something very mean-spirited. It was very mean-spirited. But it wasn't public. No, it wasn't. Maybe for the best. So, uh,

George R.R. Martin apparently finished the book, and you only believe this I don't believe it for a second why? has he ever said that before? he always people are always alluding to the fact that they're done and it hasn't been done ever

there's just no way okay did he say hey everyone I finished the book that's not alluding uh you read this article Kyle did you see if he actually claimed it was dumb i'm thankful uh they're saying they don't know when the release date is going to be because obviously they've got to um you know handle the the printing and all that stuff and there's probably edits to be done i guess i don't know but they're saying that the

the release may coincide with the final episode of the television show being released, so that would be next year. He says, I do think you will have a Westeros book for me in 2018, and who knows? Maybe two. A boy can dream. It's like the fact that he said maybe two,

it's like, yeah, right. No. If you Google GRR Martin, which is what I did just to see the news, hear that there's three stories on him. It's time to yeah, right. If you Google GRR Martin, which is what I did just to see the news, here there's three stories on him. It's time to accept the fact that George R.R. Martin may not have finished Game of Thrones. The grand tragedy of Martin in Game of Thrones. George R.R. Martin might not complete Game of Thrones. Those are the recent stories.

I'm looking for what you see. Everything is... Oh, I'm on the sun.co.uk let me copy him in there did he just hint that wings of winter is coming this year well i'm excited i can finally find out what happens in season six like at this point like it's been so long since one's been released that like i'm beyond the

point of being excited about it like it's been years now since i kind of tempered myself with the expectation that these will never release you know like so it's not even like oh i'm super psyched it's like i don't even buy it i don't even know like he's he's clearly not he's in no hurry he hasn't released one since 2011. That show was just beginning. For things that might happen in the book. I bet that dude that's older and likes Daenerys that gets the Stone Man disease gets cured.

I bet that Samwell Tarly goes to the university and has to pay his dues. I bet that Danny and Jon Snow hook up. These are all things I'm predicting will come in the book. I predict there will be 50 of the 500 pages devoted to feasts and the respective details of said feasts. Oh, it's good news to me that the audiobook guy's dead. Oh, what? No, I liked him. Every voice he did was an

old man voice because he had no choice. He could only do old man. I'm done with it. I need a more energetic reader that doesn't devote so much time to Oh my god. Wait, what do you oh my god over? Alright. So, do you ever use vote and over? Do you ever use

vote, Woody? With a V? I've never heard of it, no. It's like a shitty Reddit, right? It's a less controlled Reddit. The Donald was going to go there or something. Fat people hate.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did go there, and that's where I am right now. Of course. Do you recognize this person? Wow, that is a fat picture of Jessica Simpson? That is Jessica Simpson, I think. Poor girl. Is this real?

She does not look good. I'd rather fuck Tara Reid than her. Holy shit. It'd probably be more comfortable to shit more comfortable could this really be i think this is this shopped let me let me google like is jessica simpson a fucking disgusting whale now is jessica simpson the fact that they got rid of fat people hate on reddit was such a joke oh my god like it how many people did it motivate to lose weight you know you know it was when it was a popular subreddit it that she's bad hockey she got crazy 95 of my reddit use like because i

would hop on fat people hate but i was feeling tempted to eat uh to eat cheez-its or something and i'd be like no you're not doing that you're sticking with it like it's so look i won't deny that being a total asshole to people – like, if you bully someone so hard, they might take karate courses. If you bully someone so hard, they might watch their diet. But that doesn't make it an act of kindness like bullies make it out to be. Oh, no, it's not an act of kindness. It's definitely mean.

I'm just saying, like, from a selfish perspective it motivated me like if i was feeling tempted like oh i'm gonna i'm gonna order a pizza i'm gonna do this that or the other thing i'm gonna get some fried chicken at the grocery store kfc i'd look at fat people hate i'd be like no you're not no you're not gonna do that and i wouldn't end up doing it like it definitely helped and i know a ton of people, probably way more people than used it to mock, like, just the lurkers. A ton of people just used it for motivation to not eat shit and to lose weight. At least I did. And it was also, like, you got a little dopamine hit, too, when, like, you look at a fat person and you would be like, I'm not eating that shit.

And you would be like, I'm not eating that shit. And then to your point about feeling better than people with your diet, you get that little hit of like, yeah, I'm not eating ice cream today. Not like that fat pig. I don't put other people down in my mind. It's more like that ice cream. Maybe I do a little. I don't know.

Dude, look at this. I don't think everybody does. It's not that you hate them. It's that you're seeing the potential of your own downfall. Can you put this on the screen? I can, but I don't believe it for a nanosecond. Did you read? It says, George was 190 kilograms. His wife left him because he was too fat.

But he didn't stop eating because nothing is more important than food. The man on the right is a bodybuilder. I didn't read it carefully. That's where I went wrong. That's really good. I gotta kick out of here. Right? I can't believe it's like

it's like in the movies when you think that one of the characters has died and you're like oh shit and then all of a sudden they bring Han Solo back and you're like yes he's back this is what just happened but for fat people hey I can't believe this is

look at the clip if you go to a top I guess I'm at the month yeah the month there Yeah, the month. There's an underwear ad, and it's a normal weight woman wearing the largest underwear I've ever seen in my life, and they're

so big, she has to move her hands out to the side to stretch them out. Where is it? I'm not seeing it. If you go to top of the month, it's a pink underwear ad about three down from the top three down i'll just link it oh my god yeah i found it let me see if i can share this christ i think i can share this yeah oh you can share that it's just like a underwear ad hot plus size high waisted

can you imagine the size of woman it would take to fill those? Yes. And there would be no... That lace is just for looks, because the lace there will have collapsed into a fold or something, you know? Oh, God. Like if you tried to wrap dental floss around an uncooked ham.

If you look at the butt, I mean, obviously this underwear is not for this woman but she this woman looks fantastic yeah oh this woman looks great yeah she could throw those up on her shoulders that just proves that the right woman looks hot in anything yeah that's so true i i didn't realize how much i had missed this reddit that was a real bitch move take getting rid of fat people hey i guess i'm a softy i why aren't we allowed to to look at fat people to motivate ourselves because you're putting them down to make yourself feel better it's a i wasn't other people were

right that's not a it's not a characteristic in your personality that you should develop it's one that you should squash no it's it's fun because it's hilarious it's it's about the quips and the memes it's all about it's it's it's behavior in yourself that you should look down upon and model yourself after something better than fat people hate. This is awful. It's not like the entirety of what you're modeling yourself as a human. It's just a little bit of help where you're like, oh, man, I'm feeling tempted. I'm going to go to fat people hate and look at fat people and feel better. Ever see someone you really admire and be like,

you know what, this is an attribute of him that I want in me. I'm going to start modeling that good thing about that person. This is the opposite of that. Oh, I know it's mean-spirited and totally bullying. I like it. It made me laugh. It gave me motivation to not eat shitty, to lose weight and for that reason I like it

but I also you gotta feel bad for the fat people getting just roasted there because it was mean spirited and I liked all of their words they used to describe fat people like butter golems and like

laughter laughter describe fat people fat people like uh butter golems and like it just made me laugh really hard because you're like god that is creative i still like that if i'm walking if i'm walking through like walmart and i see a butter golem that is the word that comes into my head because of that forum it's all things look at that hefty bag full of cottage cheese meandering down the frozen food aisle like i don't know i'm a bad person i realize more by the second but still they have like fat people logic. It's laughing at people who are making terrible, terrible

life decisions. I mean, it would be no different than laughing at those people who get all those crazy surgeries and split their tongue and make themselves look like cats and lizards and stuff. She just made herself look like a giant pink bag of poo. But those people have mental

disabilities just like super fat people. Yeah. I'm not sure about that. That might be arguable. Yeah. They have mental health issues. It's a thyroid issue, Woody. It's their thyroid.

Sure it is. They've got a replicator in their stomach. Everything they eat triples in there, you know, magically. I mean, you can't, like, when you look at, like, look at this image. Like, I mean, that's funny. That's hilarious. It's a fat person laying on a hospital bed that's motorized, and they are in a McDonald's drive-thru.

Is it shopped? Am I being stupid? Of course it's shoppedped i don't know if it is or not i'm going to choose to believe that it's real because that tickles me more yep i choose to believe it's real as well because that's also funnier it looks like uh it's well shopped i mean there's a shadow under it there's i mean if it's shopped they fooled me I mean, there's a shadow under it. I mean, if it shopped, they fooled me. Oh, here's a good one. Life is like a box of chocolates.

It doesn't last as long for fat people. Oh, Jesus Christ. Kmart will now call its plus-size clothing fabulously sized. Oh, I heard that. Can you imagine having to, to like if i were a big fat person who needed fabulous size clothes like reading that wouldn't trick me it would make me feel like they thought i was a retarded kid like where they're like oh wow you're not you're not grossly overweight you're fabulous it's like that's even worse it's yeah some people very briefly between

probably self-loathing sessions convince themselves that that they are great but they're not yeah wow that's why we need fat shaming to make them accept what they are because the real mental illness is being that fat and thinking that it's not just okay but it's an attribute of yours of some kind at first yeah look at me i'm fabulous this guy's huge and then i'm like wait a minute he's just captured an armrest in that giant ass of his and honestly he's being courteous he is being as courteous he is being as courteous as the laws of physics will allow. It's shopped, Taylor? What makes you say that?

Oh, absolutely. Unless that guy is... How tall would that human being be? He's sitting on the armrest. Oh, he's sitting on the armrest. Do you see that now? Yeah. I do see it now.

I'm trying to figure out what that human being could be. If you just look at the height difference between him and the guy next to him that's about sitting on the armrest yeah about he's probably sitting on like at least like no joke like 9 inches of fat from his ass his bald spot is bigger than that other man's head

he is so fucking now this is the game I wish we knew how had it written down somewhere we knew how much you weighed we could we could access that and then we would guess how much this person weighs because i'm bad at that game i'm bad at that game if it's between if it's a guy's weight between like 140 and 200 i think i'm pretty good at that game right because those are sizes that you you're familiar with if a guy weighed 400 or 500 like i don't even know i don't know it looks the same i i i i don't mean to call him out in a mean-spirited way but apparently wings has gotten bigger since he started youtube right that's the thing that that he talks about apparently to me he's the same

he was always much bigger than people i see every day oh and he still is like i don't really see the difference oh i've noticed it yeah i i've noticed it um he has like he's very aware of those differences he'll gain 15 pounds and see himself in the mirror and be like ah you know this doesn't look as good but i don't know if that's possible i mean he's i feel like he would have to have his youtube videos like he comes by with like i've seen him pass a mirror this is old school stuff he's like oh i'm fat like uh because it i guess where did he work before youtube like bentac metal tech oh i don't know met glass or something like that i think that is it yeah i guess at his met glass days when he kept him more active uh you know he was still heavy but he wasn't like he was the kind

of heavy you maybe see every day whereas now he's the kind of heavy that you don't see every day and that transition himself is it seems to be on his mind it'd be on mine too yeah met glass home of the met glass brazing foil located in conway south carolina yes it's a it is a world leading producer of amorphous metal ribbon uh in 1970s met glass Glass Inc., then Allied Signal, located in Morristown, New Jersey, pioneered the development and the production of amorphous metal, a unique alloy that exhibits a structure in which the metal's atoms occur in a random pattern. Jesus Christ, like, what if he

really was a metallurgical engineer and we're just assholes? That's completely possible. We're halfway there already. It's half possible. It's half quite likely, actually. Yeah, us being assholes part, I feel like is a lock. Yeah, that's a lock for sure. Yeah.

Yeah, they make motors, magnetic materials, nanocrystall crystalline foil this is some high-tech shit pulse power coils transparent aluminum that is star trek it is um the journey home that i think yeah i think that's the one where they go back in time uh and then they've got a they're gonna get a sperm whale bring it back to the future to communicate with the alien life form that's destroying the earth and uh scotty has to give those guys the formula for transparent aluminum so that they can make a big enough water tanks to store the whale in that's exactly it yeah and if wings were there he'd be able to do it as well oh absolutely for the same reasons

you gotta put him somewhere so many of the images on this uh subreddit or vote reddit sub vote i don't know like aren't even hosted anymore because they're not on imager they're on a different kind of imager called Slimager. And I guess that site is down. Because I guess Imager banned them from putting pictures of fat folks up there. What a shame. I feel like it's free speech

though, right? Do you feel like... Here's a good question that's not cruel and unusual. Is fat hate free speech? Yes. As long as you're not, like, giving people's personal information and bullying them, like, in real life.

Bullying them is totally a thing. And I don't think that... I don't think harsh words... Does it make it not free speech? They don't dox them, though. Because hate speech isn't a legal term. Yeah. No, it is. Hate speech isn't a legal term yeah no it is hate speech isn't a legal term

like hate speech is free speech yeah like if i say kyle i hate you i hate the way you look and i wish you would die like that's hate speech or no if i said kyle you dirty cracker yeah or imagine kyle were a jew and i said something negative about that that That's hate speech. Something that rhymes with bike. Yes. Yeah, that nasty one. We were, I was doing a stream, or I wasn't doing a stream. My friend Mitty was streaming PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds a week or so ago, and I was playing with him. And so I was communicating with the chat,

and I had the chat open my laptop and stuff. And Twitch has really cut down on people dropping racial epitaphs, as Wings calls them. Did I already tell a story about the spooks? Yeah. Did I just tell it to you, or did I tell it on PKN? I think it was PKN. I shared that I worked with a guy who said spook all the time in reference to CIA agents. Oh, my bad.

Well, watch PKN if you want the rest of that story. I ruined it. Woody knows that we're on the clock we can't be you know you gotta cut that shit out kyle yeah like it is free speech to to do fat people hate but it doesn't make it nice or kind or appropriate you know but it is free speech yeah as long as you're not like doxing people and giving out you know personal info yeah that means look i i know it's mean and cruel and all that stuff but that's it just tickles me so much like like i don't want people to be hurt by it. I wouldn't like it if they were sending these memes

to that person's place of work or something, throwing it in their face like a big cake that they would inevitably just eat off while tears rolled down their fat cheeks. That's not cool. I wouldn't like that. I wouldn't like them to be targeted and for people to be cruel to them directly. That's not cool i wouldn't like that i wouldn't like them to be targeted and for people

to be cruel to them directly that's not nice or anything people making montages of them and shit that you wouldn't want that but these people are are sort of like you know they're out in the wild and most of these photographs were uploaded by them them they uploaded this to the internet right so i i'm okay with it i and and like some of it is just memes right like literally just memes like the the forrest gump joke their life is like a box of chocolates oh god i gotta write that down that's fucking hilarious i looked up to see if hate speech was protected in america by the way because it's different by country and uh mostly taylor's right uh if the hate speech is just sort of like racism personal

insults etc you're clear to say it if it's a threat or incitement to violence you're not okay to say it and that's kind of the distinction they use so i actually did oh and they i read a couple like um precedents in court cases and the general line of thinking is that labeling too much as hate speech can infringe on more productive free speech right you know if if someone says i don't know whatever like oh my god you just hate obama because he's black but you could just start throwing accusations like that all the time and silence people uh too easily so yeah it has to be the violent thing. Anyway, there it is. Hate speech in terms of insults is pretty protected in the US.

Yeah, absolutely. Good. So, yeah. Oh, man. I still don't like it. It's distasteful. Maybe I'm a sissy about it. I don't know.

It's not nice. That's the point. It is the point. The name of the forum was Fat People Hate. It still is. It wasn't mild critiques of the overweight. It was Fat People Hate. And the intensity of it, it's not that you hate those fat people.

Or at least I didn't. Maybe some people browsing it did. It's more just like you're seeing in those people your own potential weakness. Like, you're seeing, holy shit, that's like why when you see somebody with one arm or, like, one leg walking around, like, you get that feeling at first of like, oh, what's that? Like, that's a novel thing. Did you know that you and I were insulted on Fat People Hate? Oh, I'm sure we were yeah this is uh back when it was on reddit i guess we used to talk about it from time to time and they would post links to our show on it and they said that you were fat

you were heavier at the time they said that i had dad bod and they were fine with kyle oh of course see like i and at the time i definitely was overweight and that's why i was using it to be like i really want some cheese it's nope you're not doing it like i'm 20 pounds lighter but still have dad bod so i got work to do that's where we are and look i now now we're all normal weight oh thank god for fat people it's not because of them it was because of you and you didn't even know we were on it it was you who stored i guess we're not truly accountability buddies but like who sort of brought that hey let's do a thing together and um i'm still trying well then i give my credit for initiating that to fat people hey you didn't even know you were on it. That's okay. Fair enough.

Yeah, I'm still working out. I haven't missed a day. It's my fourth week. So assuming I work out tomorrow, which I will, I'll have not missed a day in four weeks. And it's whatever. I don't know that I look

much different, but I'm definitely lifting way heavier weights. You know, you're getting those beginner gains. That's where I am. Are you back to lifting again are you still

letting your body heal from all that sickness uh i haven't lifted this week at all i'm letting it just recover all the way and i'm planning on kicking it back up monday because i'm sure that you know i kind of i didn't want to do half week i want to do a full week and i'm looking forward to it i was bummed out not being able to work out. Well, I guess I worked out most of – I guess I worked out all of last week. Or no, only Monday, Tuesday last week. And so, I don't know, I'm excited to get back. I feel better. I feel happier.

When you're working out. Yeah, when I'm not working out now, and I'm just sitting there on the couch on my computer watching TV, it's like I don't have that same feeling of accomplishment. Whereas after I work out and then I go get on my computer or watch a movie or whatever, I'm like, Oh, I've kind of earned a little bit of this relaxation. Like I worked hard, like I get out of the shower after afterward. And I'm like, Yeah, you did something like you did something beneficial. Because my like, my normal schedule is I get home from work and then I cook myself dinner right away.

Like I'll make myself fish in a salad or, you know, turkey, sausage and eggs or just something pretty healthy that I'm keeping track of in my fitness bell. And then straight away from there, like while I'm eating dinner, I drink my pre-workout so that by the time I'm done eating, there's about a 15, 20 minute buffer of digesting. And then I start working out and then I shower and then it's really not even that late, and I'm like, man, it's been a productive evening. It's only been two hours or whatever since I got home, and I really accomplished something. I could have spent the last two hours doing nothing, not improving myself, and I wouldn't have got any real joy out of it, now i feel like oh that family guy episode that's the south park episode the Seinfeld episode it's a little sweeter you know in in a in a silly way i share some of that

you know like oh i'm glad i did this i feel good about me i'm proud of me for for not being on the shelf on on the negative side motivates me a lot i have a i i keep track of the column i work out together and i keep track of all our weight sets reps etc and the date that we did it i don't even know how i'm going to handle a missed day right the sheets that i log it on have three per page so since i work out three times a week like am i really gonna have my week span two pages from now on am i gonna have a blank in a page this is just a problem i don't want to have my week span two pages from now on? Am I going to have a blank in a page? This is just a problem I don't want to have to deal with. You would leave a blank.

I think I would. I think I'd leave a blank. But then, Kyle, there's a permanent record at stake here. That's true. We will always remember the blank day. I'm checking. I'm on my own accountability, buddy. And also, look, we're trying to get Colin doing pull-ups

so that he can get to the next level. I am responsible for another person on this thing as well. It's not just a personal decision. We're both trying to meet some goals. Maybe he could do some wings pulls. I feel like that builds. That would work the lats. I could totally see that.

Yeah. I lost five pounds this week. I went from like 186 down to down to 181 so i treated myself tonight i i had entire large pizza i had uh i had these uh these fried mushrooms there's only there's only one left but it's a weird looking one so i skipped it it looked like a fried penis and uh and and i and i had this uh i had i had i had onion rings so tonight was a real good night that sounds delicious and that's your only meal for the day so yeah yeah it's that really not in too deep and i'll tell you what i i hate diet coke i like regular

coke but i the new coke zero it's an it's a completely different formula than the old coke zero which i felt was like mostly just like weird tasting carbonated water this is good this is pretty fucking good i i'm gonna add this to the zero calorie beverage uh lineup that i that i keep in stock you guys might know more about this than me i i look at all those sodas as drinks that are beneath me right you know like i would do i've never hadroix, but water with bubbles, I assume is okay. Is zero calorie Coke actually okay. It seems like there must be some nasty shit in there.

It's just got like aspartame in it. Right. Like just that artificial sweetener. And I think aspartame, maybe I'm talking out of my ass, but that's never stopped me. So like maybe ask aspartame, I think is the most like researched compound or chemical

or whatever like in the history of the fda and they have never found anything like truly definitively tying it to cancers which is what people say with like oh it's a carcinogen it's like yeah i mean there's no way it's totally good for you like compared to water it's definitely worse but i think it's probably more similar to like vaping versus cigarettes where it's like we know for a fact cigarettes slash regular coca-cola is terrible for you vaping if this we're gonna do something to me is still not great but it's much much much better if this were gonna do something to me it would have happened by now uh it it just would have you know i'd have i i it's just not gonna do anything bad to me it's delicious it's delicious my pee is clear i drink so much of this you know i i drink so much of this

the fact that you don't drink water is is baffling to me i hate it it's it's all flat how it tastes like tasteless there you go there you go i i i want to enjoy my beverages i drink these non-stop because i enjoy the taste of them so much it's like candy so like when i'm doing anything that's a gross purpose yeah it really was it tasted like it tasted like that lamb fried mushrooms it's that awful i remind myself that i am protected by hundreds of miles like yeah it's okay you don't have to inhale it i know it sounded like it was right there but you're fine yeah i i'm drinking these continuously like like i wouldn't be sitting like the reason i got up was like oh shit what am i gonna do it's do? It's all empty. I've already gone through a couple of these.

I bought a 12-pack of these yesterday, and they're almost all gone. I really, really fucking love diet sodas of all kinds. I go through a different 12-pack almost every day. Big fan. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I don't think it hurts you. We're going to bring back the lemon at my house not lemonade which is i guess lemons and sugar

but we call it lemon tears which is pretty much just smushed up lemons and water spab your teeth i'm sure it is uh and i haven't even had one yet but i think we're gonna work in a little bit of like lemon into the water around here what i really like treat yourself yeah yeah just every now and then maybe but that stuff is good i drink isn't it la croix i don't i don't know it doesn't matter it's the sparkling water with like little bits of flavor in there yeah there's no sodium there's no nothing in it and i i am totally off of diet soda now for the most part like i went out uh for lunch i got chipotle today and i got a coke zero or something out of the uh fountain and as i was drinking i'm like oh this just isn't very good like i used to really like diet coke and coke zero but now no like i've got

i've become acclimated to the less sweet drink and you feel better when like you crush eight cans of what is just water a day as opposed to soda like just as far as hydration goes i don't believe that it's not anything to book okay you said you feel better you didn't say i feel better i feel better no well i could believe you would feel better now that your body hasn't had pure regular h2o in so long that like if you introduced it it might reject you know what i find that's interesting like i i find a glass of water to be way more filling and hydrating than a glass of something else like a lemonade or something i see kyle's face because that sounds ridiculous right but i think you're right i don't know i i feel like people that could down six beers would have a very hard time downing six equal sized waters it just i can't i can't argue with Something about it is just all one.

I think it's because when you drink a diet soda even, the sweet flavor is going to make you want something more. It titillates you. Does the carbonation make your stomach expand so they can hold more volume?

Or does the carbonation exit and now you have less in in your belly it made space yeah oh like like so this much soda becomes this much soda that now that's not how it works no you just burped what do you what do you think happened down there the the co2 was dissolved into the liquid it wasn't taking up any space that how do you know that how it's co2 dissolves into the liquid it doesn't take any more volume that doesn't seem possible it might take some look i'm no wings redemption here i i don't have my degree in atomic okay so i i would imagine that it takes up a small amount of, an infinitesimal amount of space.

But there's no way that it would in any way matter on the scale that we're talking about. Yeah, I don't think so either. It has to take up a little bit of space because it is matter, right? Yeah, it's dissolved in there. You know, there's CO2 molecules floating around

in that beverage making it fizzy because when you pop the top they all start escaping um i just love carbonation i think that's why i like the croix here's a question more than regular water i i think we can almost answer this if you were to have soda in the bottle and you leave the cap off for it to go flat how much does the level of soda drop an infinitesimal and probably couldn't even notice you wouldn't notice yeah an infinitesimal amount it like absolutely imperceptible i i feel like it would have to be i mean let's do we gotta do some googling now because you back asked this ridiculous they're gonna ask for carbonated talk again and again. How much volume does

carbonation take up? The volume of carbonated water. Alright. Does the overall Where's the question? He goes, 10 hours of college chemistry and I cannot answer this without a theoretical.

Does the overall liquid volume of carbonated water change measurably as the CO2 gas leaves the solution? If it does, opening a bottle of soda, noting its liquid level, then allowing it to go flat, lose its carbonation, should reveal a lowered liquid level in the bottle. However small, it does not change, you say? flat, loses carbonation, should reveal a lower liquid level in the bottle, however small. It does not change, you say? Perhaps? You need to go back to English class. What is this? Surely it's the change in volume

of the liquid in the dropper, but I'm looking for an answer. The phenomenon of dynamic shrink and swell. Oh my god. No, because two observations prevail. First, the liquid remains... It's taking too long. I've lost interest.

I'm losing it as well. I'm almost positive that it does take... I don't care. I don't care anymore. Alright, go to the fart. It's mildly related. Go to the fart. I don't even anymore. All right, go to the fart. It's mildly related. Go to the fart. I don't even know what that means.

The disgusting airplane farts. Go to that story. Oh. Oh, yeah. Passenger. This is on metro.co.uk. Passenger drops farts. So putrid.

Pilot is forced to make emergency landing. Can you imagine? Can you imagine how putrid a fart has to be for everyone on board to like quickly go from like, Oh, to like, how do I get that oxygen mask? Oh,

they're clawing at the roof of the cabin. Two Dutchman sitting next to him. Didn't take well to his flatulence, but the unashamed man was not put off and refused to hold back. What a piece of shit. They should have locked him in the brig. They should have locked him in the bathroom. Oh, there's video?

Despite a warning from the pilot, a fight between the men broke out, causing the flight to be deluded to Vienna. That's what actually happened. They got into a fight over his gas. I think that's maybe even funnier, though, right? Like someone beat this guy up because he was farting so much. Which must have exacerbated the situation, right?

I can just imagine every punch. They tried to turn it into a race thing, these cunts. Do they sometimes think that all Moroccans cause problems? That's why we do not let it sit. It's like, you know, you ripped ass on that plane so bad that people were vomiting. That's not true. It's not because you're Moroccan. Or maybe it is.

I don't know what those people eat. A lot of curry. A lot of curry. A lot of curry. That would make sense. Can you imagine dogs having to come on the plane because they're like, no, no, it was just somebody farting. And they're like, no, this can't possibly just be that. It's got to be more.

There's some sort of noxious chemicals in there. My partner went blind. We're going to have to sweep the whole area. They got banned from Trans-Savia Airlines? What is this fucking airline? I've never heard of it. No loss there. I know.

I'll never get anywhere without Trans-Savia. Oh, man. What am I going to do with all my miles? There were two women involved in the fight as well. I don't know what role they played. Do you ever read stuff like that? Like that's happening way on the other side of the world, like Trans-Soviet Airlines.

And in your head, that may as well be Narnia. In your head, it's not real. Like Transylvania? I'm still not convinced is a place. Where else would vampires come from? Explain that. Touche. yeah i'm still not convinced as a place where else would vampires come from explain that touche but like yeah like all of eastern europe that could have been made up by jr r tolkien and i like it nobody's there there can't be hundreds of millions of white people

squatting in tracksuits like there's just it can't be like there's just no way that that's a real thing uh that'd be a neat place to visit though transylvania no like eastern europe or like russia or something like i feel like it would be so so different it'd be almost like japan-esque except white people like like every maybe it's not as different as i'm anticipating but it seems like it would just be totally could any of us pass for russian if we just didn't talk like throw on a track suit and walk around and they'd have no idea yeah i think so there's a ton of russians in the nhl and like sometimes they don't even have russiany names and so they'll be like all right we're talking to Richard here,

you know, post-game. How did you think the game went? And, like, you'll see him, and he looks like a normal guy from, like, Kansas. He'll be like, yeah, the goal will. You know? The St. Louis Blues, are they still in a big losing streak? No, we're not in a losing streak. We're just, like, shitty.

Am I crazy? Like, up and down and up and down. And, like, win one a losing streak. We're just like shitty. Am I crazy? Up and down and up and down. Win one, lose one. Win one, lose two. Win two. There's just no consistency. The Blackhawks were on the biggest losing streak recently. I think they lost eight in a row. Eight or nine.

That might be who I was thinking of then. If Chicago gets a good draft pick after one year of being shitty, I'm going to give them a set. The St. Louis Blues are on a four-game losing streak right now. Oh, yeah. It's not good. thinking of then yeah if chicago gets a good draft pick after one year the st louis blues are on a four game losing streak right now oh yeah yeah it's not good and then we'll probably win a couple and then lose a couple more and then like we just can't score a goal to save our goddamn lives which is kind of the problem every year and our goaltending our backup goalie is playing is

the best goalie in the league right now and our starting goalie is not doing well you could be philly except for the best part of the league just goalie problems i guess yes philly has a goalie problem every year like it's an anomaly how uh i think it was it was like some infographic where it was like number of new york rangers goalies in the last 10 years. First number of Philadelphia Flyers goalies. And the Rangers goalie was just Henrik Lundqvist. It's just him. He's, that's it. And then Philly, it was like a list of so many people.

And like one of them was Bobrovsky. And he's like the best goalie in the league right now, like killing it for Columbus. And they got rid of him. And they also had Brizgalov, that guy who wasn't actually very good, but he gave great interviews. He's the guy who was like, it is only game. Why you have to be mad?

He used to say weird shit. He was always about deep space and black holes. They were interviewing him about games, where they're like, how'd you feel about that last game he's like you know recently i've just been like you know very into like space you know like it's so so humongous big like we think we have problems and then like you see all of this it's like that's great ilia what were you thinking against the Panthers on Saturday now he does a career in commentating so that's good

while we're on terrible topics UFC 223 terrible topics should be the name of the show it should just be PGA 375 terrible topics hang on a second UFC are we going to do UFC now we're absolutely doing UFC 375. Terrible topics. Hang on a second. Go to UFC.

Are we going to do UFC now? We're absolutely doing UFC now. Connor McNever. Go ahead. Connor said he tried to step in to fight Frankie, but the UFC couldn't get said that they didn't have enough time to promote it enough to make the money that they would need to pay him.

They're in talks right now to do two fights in 2018, one of which would obviously be against the winner of Tony Ferguson versus Khabib Nurmagomedov, which is taking place at UFC 223, I believe in Brooklyn, New York. The best card we've seen in a very fucking long while. I linked it down below. Look at this card. You've got Ferguson and Nurmagomedov. You've got Rose defending her belt against

Djordječek. Artem Lobov is fighting, which seems to be a huge fan favorite. Joe Lozon is on the fucking card. And who else? Aliquinta is a guy I watch. Chessia and Petis.

Yeah, Chiesa and Petis. That'll be a good fight. And then the girl fight has that Herrig chick, who I think is... Felice, I think, might be her first name. Herring. I find her very attractive. I like watching her fight. Everybody does.

So which... There's nine fights. I don't know, actually, ten fights identified so far. Which five are the main event? Like, obviously, there's the ferguson fight the nagam the namahunas fight thug rose yeah um i'm not sure what was the question so which are the top five out of these 10 oh basically i really want lozon no well there's a main event that'll be on the pay-per-view there won't be 10 fights on the pay-per-view

some of these are going to be the usc fight pass some of these are going to be the pre-fight thing on fox they just haven't decided who's who yet i see so my guess would be all right so definitely they're putting loboth on the main card uh i i think i think for sure so i think it's going to be ferguson and uh habib uh definitely of course, Rose, Andrew Jacek. Kiesa and Pettis will be on there. They like Pettis. I think Herrig and Kawakiewicz will be on the main card. It's five?

I have to pick five? Yeah. Oh, shit. So the two obvious ones are the two title matches, right? Yeah. I didn't know Lobov was such a lock. Yeah, I believe he is. Just by gauging fan reaction.

If you go on Bloody Elbow or RMMA, they're all like, fuck all these other guys. It's all about Lobov. Why isn't he at the top of the card? All right. Jesse Apetis. I guess that's one of the top five i would think so i i feel like pettis is uh their guy i i feel like they really like putting him out there he was a he was like a huge superstar and we talked about everything and then lost a bunch of fights so i to me there's three that are locks the two title fights in the pettis

fight i want lozon to be in the top five yeah i would like that too he can be like after i'm looking after those yeah i mean maybe i quinta and lozon would be the next two yeah i don't know but but best card in a very long time i will definitely buy this card and i haven't bought a card in months now i actually bought the um dc card oh i i i did not because and it was just because like the dc fight was the only one i cared about i couldn't see spending 60 bucks on dc didn't he fight stipe no i mean didn't stipe also fight that night yeah but i i'm not a big fan of that i with those heavyweight fights i mean not to like it's a cliche but they i don't like them i don't like them i don't find heavyweight fights to be

that entertaining like i i just don't um like 145 155 like like those guys. Those are the guys I want to see fight. Okay. Real quick to interject into UFC talk. Olympic figure skating is on right now, and it's trending on Twitter because apparently the German figure skater is skating to the theme song from Schindler's List. Yes. That is a sad song. Talk about tone depth. Is it like a really upbeat number?

Like, is she really aggressive? Have you seen Schindler's List? Yeah, it's a real feel-good kind of show, right? The bad guys lose. You might be thinking of Flashdance. They round them up. Someone who saves more. No, it's where those people were ruining that country's economy,

and finally they got together and did something about it. Jesus Christ, Kyle. That's one interpretation. That's the one we were taught in camp every summer. We'd all have the uniforms on. That guy would get real animated, and he was so excited. We'd all wave at him at the same time. That guy would get real animated, and he was so excited. We'd all wave at him at the same time.

You were there. I think you had a unique experience. That's interesting. Did you see the French figure skater's titty pop out the other day? I'm looking it up as we speak. Tasteless. Of course it's Frenchies. French figure skater

titty. Wardrobe malfunction. French skater nipple autofills. So that's a good sign. It certainly does. It certainly does. You know what? This is really a Bing topic. While we're on Olympics bullshit topics,

I guess the Russian curling. No, no, no. Was it the Russian curlers who got popped for PEDS? I'm wondering now because I thought the Russian curling. No, no, no. Was it the Russian curlers who got popped for PEDS? I'm wondering now because I thought the Russians were already just banned from the Winter Olympics because of PEDS. The Russians had to compete under a different flag. So all those state-sponsored steroid people are still there, but now they're under a different flag.

Like they're under the international flag or whatever that is. I don't know. They're not Russianussian athletes they're now athletes from russia athletes from russia but not under the russian flag it's like why not just kick them out like i don't know that's complete bullshit like that's i don't even know how that's a punishment yeah performance enhancing drugs for curling. Yeah. How can it help? What was the drug, I wonder?

Like, was it steroids or was it like... Probably Adderall to stay awake. Adderall is what I'm going for, yeah. I just can't imagine the drug that you need for curling. Curling is the... Every year, every... Excuse me. Every Winter Olympics,

when curling comes back into to my lexicon and people start making fun of it again i'm just like they haven't taken it away yet like it's it's a joke of a sport first of all winter olympics is a joke of a sport that's not true snowboarding is legit cross-country skiing is legit. Skiing is cool. Hockey is cool. The general concept of white people on slippery surfaces that combines the entire Winter Olympics is a little silly. I disagree. Black people are allowed to compete. They just happen to not have very much snow or the financial ability to buy fucking skis. Countries with black people compete in the Winter Olympics.

They're just not good. Yeah, because they're not from climates we hate. Exactly. Like, Norway, like, they can pop out of their house in the middle of May and find snow. Like, people in Zimbabwe or Namibia or whatever the fuck, they got no chance. Yeah.

Like, they have to take a plane, a flight. Shithole countries ain't got no snow? No. You know, it's unfair to say they don't have any chance. Like, if they wanted to compete in these things, they could make it happen. Because all you need is to start with a great athlete, right? And then just make him live in Canada all year round, right?

Like, I live here now. It is wonderful that tongue guy was a cross-country skier and he was really proud of himself he like i guess he got 120 second or something and he's like i think i did pretty well for uh for only having 12 days experience cross-country skiing i agree like how many competitors were there like i mean unless it got i don't know unless some guy got injured or something. He's a great athlete. Some poor bastard from Finland is like,

I don't know what happened. Yeah, look at this. These are the men's hockey teams. These are all from all white snowy nations. You got Group A, Canada, the Czech Republic, South Korea. I miss them. What the fuck are they doing in there?

They get snow. Switzerland. canada the czech republic south korea i miss them what the fuck are they doing in there they get switzerland uh group b is olympic athletes from russia that's bullshit slovakia slovenia and the usa and then group c finland germany norway sweden the only one in there that surprises me is south korea i wouldn't think they would have a hockey team i know america just got knocked out who's left in the u.s hockey i'm sorry in men's hockey oh i don't know i ever since the nhl said we're not sending our players i decided i don't i don't fucking care like i'm not gonna watch low quality hockey like like if the if all the nhl players were there it would be fun that's why the olympics are fun but if you take all the best players on earth and say you can't play then what's the point you know i think what should have happened is only america should have sent us nhl players that's what i want that's fair we just sneak it in there

we're like the canada only finds out like the morning of it's like oh sorry oops like canada could send like their c team and still beat the shit out of goddamn south korea oh okay i was i wasn't sure where you're going with that i'm like their c team can't win the olympics oh no they couldn't beat like us or russia or i'm sorry olympic athletes from russia they couldn't do that but that is such horseshit. That makes me mad for some reason. I don't like cheaters. I really hate it. Whether it's eye poking and mixed martial arts or it's performance enhancing drugs,

especially sports where you hit people like fucking hockey. And the Olympics, it just seems like it should be more pure than that. I really hate it. I really hate it. And I really hate the state-sponsored cheating because like you can almost understand if like one guy is like like has a dream and he's just so focused on it and so motivated he's i gotta do something i gotta do i gotta get an edge and he cheats you can you can kind of sympathize with that but when your entire country's program is is is like that scene from Rocky, what is it, three?

Let's see. Clever Lang. Rocky IV. Yeah, Rocky IV. Yeah, Rocky IV with the Russian. Yeah, I'll do an ad. Okay. I'll tell everyone about, let's see if we start out with Stitch Fix.

We'll do getquip.com. I'm trying to mix them up so they fit together better. You're doing a wonderful job. We've got a theme going here, you sarcastic fuck. Which one of us is an asshole? I'm not quite sure. Both. Oh, well now I should have guessed that. Getquip.com.

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plan refreshes your brush on a dentist-recommended schedule, delivering new brush heads every three months for just $5, including free shipping worldwide. Quip is backed by a network of over 10,000 dental professionals, including dentists, hygienists, and dental students. Most toothbrushes don't get named one of Time Magazine's best inventions of the year, but Quip did. Find out why for yourself. Quip starts at just $25, and if you go to getquip.com slash pka right now you'll get your first refill pack for free with a quip electric toothbrush that's your first that's your first refill pack for free at getquip.com slash pka spelled g-e-t-q-u-i-p.com slash pka yeah check that out that that's actually pretty affordable

a lot of those electric toothbrushes are really really expensive like a hundred dollars or more 25 sounds great i want to with the free refill let's see yeah that's not bad like if you guys are still living in the stone age and using a manual toothbrush like you shouldn't like every dentist on the planet is going to recommend that you use uh a motorized or electric one like it's way way way better look at this thing and it looks good i i'm really impressed it's incorrect it's way more aesthetically appealing than i ever thought a toothbrush could be you know like it looks sleek like if elon musk got a billion dollars from the government to fund a toothbrush company, this is what it would look like. I feel like you could do other things with this, but it'll definitely brush your teeth. Yes.

You know, Kyle, I bet they wouldn't want us to say those things in an advertisement for them. That's why I'm being so vague, Taylor. Okay. But if you're a lady. But there's lots of reasons to buy this there's at least one incredibly important reason to buy this because you've only get one set of teeth unless you're taylor and then you end up spending tens of thousands of dollars so yeah getquip.com slash pka 25 is a is a is a is a tiny sum to for such a i'm buying one i'm buying one right now taylor is there a tooth update going on there like where are we on the

whole taylor tooth saga uh no update like i was supposed to uh on valentine's day go in and get like the i don't know what the name of the stuff is but like that plaster shit that they use to like a mold of some sort the fake enamel that they rebuild your teeth with like when you chip them they were supposed to do that but first i wanted to get a appointment with like an oral surgeon so i could check with him and be like hey is there any way i can get this covered by my insurance 100%? Because I'm not doing this for aesthetics or cosmetic issues. I'm doing it for my bite.

And I'm still waiting to get into the oral surgeon's office. So I put off that initial appointment because I figured I want to check off all my boxes and make sure I'm not paying needlessly. Because tooth shit is so fucking expensive. And you're right. Dental insurance is a scam scam they never pay for anything like the best they'll do is like hey we paid for 60 of your cleaning and it's like oh did you like the dental insurance someone correct me if you have a better experience with this but they're basically like hey i want you to pay us like 250 a year and in exchange we cover $120 worth of cleanings.

Oh, and you think, like, but insurance is important, because what if something catastrophic happens? Oh, yeah, we don't cover that shit. No, we don't cover that. Anything that you might need covered, we don't cover. Oh, do you need a root canal? Nope, we don't cover that. Oh, do you need a cavity filled?

We'll cover 30 of that like it thankfully i like never get cavities for the most part because i i do take very good care of my teeth i just apparently combine them like i'm angry at the world while i sleep might be and i like if you if i touch the back of my molars like it's honestly i'm not even a dentist and they're like in the last like couple years i've been feeling i'm like ah that's not good so they're totally out of points they're just rounded like blunt instruments like you know how like there's like the four tips on your molars back there like like the four little spiky areas like ideally like all of those are are totally round no here i'm curious i i don't know even how i want

you to my teeth are very good like yours virtually cavity free uh pointed uh they always say i have a grade a mouth or class a mouth whatever it is like this so i have very good teeth but some crookedness in there would you trade that or would you prefer your relatively straight teeth that are rounded over like some other animal oh i would totally prefer to have a little bit of like crooked bottom teeth and have a bite that works correctly like my bite is is terrible like one of the worst bites my dentist has ever seen like as far as like how perfectly my teeth line up on top of each other like there's no overlap there's nothing it my teeth just line up and so it apparently what happens is at night like during the day if you

start to grind your teeth really hard your brain goes hey fucking stop and you go oh that hurts yeah clearly i'm not doing that but at night your brain doesn't tick into that and so your teeth are always looking for their natural place to set and so they're my teeth are always looking for a place to to set and be be happy but there's nowhere that is and so they just move and grind all night super super hard and so uh if if there were a bite force calculator i would put myself up against medium-sized dogs frankly american alligators not quite that because they have very strong bite strength but i my bite strength is it has to be abnormally strong for a human being because my dentist has been doing it for 35 years and he's like you have the largest masseter muscles i've ever seen in someone because other people you're

grinding all the time oh the grind there's the grinding but even the the eating the masticating is that what it's called like when you're chewing your food and mashing it other people are using pointy knives we're using axes you are using hammers to split wood. Yeah. I've always been super, super self-conscious about the way I chew. Because my teeth don't line up correctly. I don't get enough penetration. His teeth line up like a ventriloquist doll's mouth. Exactly. They're just chomp, chomp, chomp.

They don't work right. I just ordered this fucking thing. I'm looking forward to it. They come in six different colors. I got the bronze one. And i almost forgot to use our qrl but but but i remembered and uh and uh so yeah getquip.com pka uh make that happen and uh it's i think it saved me ten dollars or something like that on checkout don't you know another thing about those uh the bottom of the toothbrush comes off

and covers the top like you know how you hear stuff like when you flush your toilet like poop particles or like pee particles or whatever get over your whole bathroom yeah i don't know how true that is but i believe it and so having a cover on your toothbrush makes a lot of sense yeah yeah definitely so and it's good for like you, you know, when you're traveling and stuff. And ladies, take a good look at this toothbrush. Kyle, I hope you ordered an extra. Yes. I think one will get both jobs done. I remember I was on a trip with Kyle.

It was actually Wolf. Wolf asked Kyle, like, are you single? And he's like and i'm like yeah is a guy with five girlfriends single yeah yes i guess definitely yeah if you're fucking lots of girls at the same time you're you're by definition single i think because otherwise you'd just be a cheater like who's in a relationship with one and sleeping with many. But if you're an ethical fellow who cares about the Lord and such, like Kyle. That's me. And you're fucking, you know,

three girls at the same time. You don't lead them on. You just, you know, but you're definitely not, you're definitely single. I'm a much nicer guy than this show makes me out to be. I'm going to start,

I'm going to have to start a companion podcast called I'm Not Actually a Nazi. A companion podcast. Yeah. Like every week after doing this, I'm like, welcome to the I'm Not a Nazi hour. Let's first apologize for that. Let's just spell something from that other show. And that whole Schindler's List thing tonight. I'm going to be honest.

That made me feel bad. Let's just start there. Dude, the funny thing is, is like, I'll say stuff like jokey that I'm sure like, oh, that'll upset people. But nothing like compares to when you say like, hey, you know what? Soccer kind of sucks. People are like, you know what, you stupid American. It's like, God, saying anything negative about soccer gets under people's skin so much more than your Schindler's List comments. Because they anticipate the ridiculousness.

They're pissed off right now you're calling it soccer. Yeah, football. People get really up in arms about the things that they're very passionate about or the things that are a part of them when i whenever i talk about my preference toward being circumcised there are no circumcised people who get up in arms it's every time i get one of those i do two paragraph messages well fuck you two paragraph messages from someone that's like that's like and i'm gonna give him a brit British accent because those are those dirty fucks that don't get cut. Hey there, lad. You can't

be dogging uncut cocks it better, right? I'm not dogging. See, dude, you know how Dick tells us to call in with a rage? Yes. You know, because what his show is, The Dick Show, Dick Masterson, if you don't know who we're talking about, is like their bit is he has someone call in every week with a new what makes him a rage or what makes you a rage, something that you hate.

And that's one that I've been mulling around because I'm supposed to call into a show in a couple weeks and do one is circumcision apologists. It is so fucking annoying that any time you bring up circumcision, nobody can just say, yeah, it is pretty fucked up that we cut little boys' dick tips off. Nobody can just say that. You always get an apologist who's like, oh, you know, it's not that bad. Like, oh, did they botch yours? Is it ruined? Oh, it looks better.

Girls like it better. Why are you whining? It's like, no, it's not about that, you bitch. Like, you're making excuses for something that doesn't need to be made excuses for. You're cutting the tip of a little baby's penis off. We don't need it. I don't care if it makes it look cleaner. It doesn't make it look cleaner.

You don't chop your arms off to save on deodorant as a child. Like, it's ridiculous. You don't do that shit. Abraham made a pact with God, and I'm going to keep that covenant, okay? Now, if you want to burn in hell, you go right along with those anteater penis. Jews don't believe in hell. You should know that, Mr. Schindler. Abraham wasn't a Jew.

He was a Hebrew. Do you think those are different? In my mind, they are. Even I knew they were the same. I know they're the same same but there's a difference between there is a difference though in in this context but the crux of this being is that every time you bring up circumcision people who have had their dick tip cut off like all three of us here someone instead of just saying yeah that is pretty fucked up the rest of the world doesn't do it like

nobody's cool with like slicing clits and labias off, but, like, everybody seems to be, like, de facto okay with this kind of shit. Kyle thinks labia plastic is- It is better this way! This way, she will not- Why did you direct yourself? If she cannot come, then you have no reason to try. No, no, no, I got- I got- If she cannot- If she cannot come, then why would she go?

That's actually really funny. She cannot come. That won't be a meme. So if I see a little girl with her cleat, I get very upset. Very. Yeah. Those are my favorite ones. No, like, the reason that...

So, I just feel like I am... I'll just say this, because I feel like you can't get mad at this. I'm happy that my parents chose to mutilate my penis. It turned out very well. This is the exact... You're embodying the exact thing about this that pisses me off, where instead of just, your dick with your foreskin, it would look the exact same, except you wouldn't need lotion to masturbate. I want the lotion! You'd be fine, but like the whole thing of, I'm glad that my parents cut the tip of my penis off.

It's like, why are you desperately trying to make this seem like it's a cool thing that's okay? It's not. It's not cool to do to children. I'm not! I'm trying not to offend those anteater penised weirdos, those heathens who will inevitably burn the- Where are the weirdos?! Is my point! Everywhere else on Earth, you have your doldick! Oh yeah, let's all go au naturel, like no more deodorant, let's stop cutting our fingernails and toenails Let's just get batted hair and build all over us I'm trying not to offend and eat a weirdos

That's great I appreciate your sensitivity Dude I wish I had foreskin Foreskin think of how many more nerves you'd have in there Aw you crowd pleasing fucker you big headed oaf You big headed oaf. Dude, you see, this is the thing. Some people have, like, a need.

A need to defend circumcision in a way that makes no fucking sense to me. You literally say every time it comes up, I'm glad my parents cut the tip of my penis off. I am, and I phrase it that way. I never say, everyone should do it. There shouldn't be a foreskin left on this great God's green earth. I don't say that. I'm not the foreskin hunter. I'm not going town to town with my long shears,

making guys stretch their foreskins out so I can nip them off. I'm just saying if I weren't cut, I would have it done at this juncture in my life right i absolutely i had a mole on my back had that cut right off it was unsightly it was a little extra skin oh i was born with that little piece of extra skin though no it's gone now looks better there's a huge difference between an unsightly mole and the thing you use to fuck and jack off not like if if you were ayear-old man with an intact dick skin, and it was working fine,

only a small percentage, I think, of foreskinned people get that nasty shit where it doesn't open. No, no, no, where it doesn't open correctly. Dude, if you have smegma, that's like not wiping your ass. That's not wiping your your penis that's not pulling your foreskin back every time you take a shower and making sure everything's yeah but but like saying that that's a problem and that oh you don't want to get smegma may as well cut it off it's like that's like saying oh you know don't want to run your ass cheeks off yeah you don't

want to you don't want to have shit on your ass it's like well how about you just wipe your ass how about you just clean your dick skin? Like, it wouldn't be that hard. I've seen so much money on lotion. There's, look, all right, so here's a thing to consider. There are no women out there who are like, oh, he's circumcised? Gross. There are, however, women who are like, oh, he's not circumc circumcised gross you can't argue with this logic

yeah actually it's making a lot of sense if the circumcised penis is the key that opens all doors then that's the one you want saying that you should mutilate the genitals of children because women prefer the aesthetic of it is taylor taylor my God, Taylor. How much effort have you put into increasing your other aesthetics? I would mutilate your genitals if it got me more aesthetic. Okay? Let alone what I do to my own. Right? Like, I'd mutilate a thousand baby penises if it got me laid just one more time a year.

Do you know how they actually do it? Like the real Jewish way where they get a mohel and the guy puts his mouth on the penis that some some trickster 3 000 years ago wanted to blow baby dick and he found a way to sneak it in you wouldn't want it all bloody though that's to stop the bleeding now look i'm not agreeing with the with the the the mohel that first of all that's that's that's only like a certain group of jews or something like that we've read up on this before it's it's not like every moil does that but yes some of them suck the baby dick to get the bleeding to stop or something like that i'm not

cosigning on that part nobody sucked my dick to get the bleeding to stop i i would remember that later that was years later two or three at least oh thank god so easy by the way nice segue here but i watched this uh i watched a lot of film review videos people who like really go in depth with movies and look at the meaning and the subtext and stuff and i found it really fascinating and i watched watched one about The Shining recently. And this guy's theory is that the subtext in The Shining, what's being suggested is that Jack Nicholson has molested his son. And that that's what's going on in the movie. That's a big part of what's happening is that he's molested his son. And that's the cause of most of the occurrences in the movie.

And at first i was like this is going to be like that guy who said this was stanley kubrick um leaving bread crumbs that he had faked the the apollo landings this is going to be a bunch of nonsense but as he as the evidence mounted i think i agree with him and like the most plain and in-your-face piece of evidence is there's a scene where Jack Nicholson is reading Playgirl magazine. And it's a real quick flash. He's reading it, and someone comes up, and he's like, ah, hey, nice to meet you. And he slaps it down on the table and gets up and shakes hands with some guys when he first gets to the hotel. He's reading Playgirl?

Playgirl. And they, of course, it was a real copy of Playgirl. And he puts on the screen, like, the cover of that copy of Playgirl. And one of the main articles is incest, why parents have sex with their children. And then that's just the tip of the iceberg. As it goes on, he's got, like, all of this evidence laid out. Like like all of this evidence laid out like like all of the circumstantial evidence and all these um what are like some of the the big ones that you recall because i'm curious there's this uh there's this scene where um you know the mom catches uh like

the dog blowing the guy in the upstairs room mascot thing yeah yeah that that positioning is replicated many times throughout the movie the sort of like one person standing one person kneeling like there's pictures in the background on the walls depicting that a lot they're often of bears just like the man wearing the bear mask who's blowing the guy danny's wearing the rocket ship um uh shirt well that it's it's weird in one scene he's wearing a completely different shirt, and then right after the traumatic thing happens, he's wearing the rocket ship shirt. There was no reason for him to change or time for him to change, but now he's wearing this phallic-shaped

rocket pointing at his mouth. What was the other thing? I can't believe I never noticed this. I don't think anyone would have it. Is it one of those things, though, where a lot of the middle examples seem like a stretch, where it's someone like a hammer looking for a nail more than an actual, like, theme in the film? There's a few of them that are like that, honestly, but there's so many that are, like, weird,

like the bear stuff, the bear symbolism that keeps popping up over and over and over and uh there he's like watch jack jack nicholson's eyes how funny how he looks at disgust at at his at the bed as he passes by and sure enough he goes in slow motion and jack nicholson's walk and he just like looks at the bed and like right after he supposedly like rapes the sun like he can't every time he walks past a mirror he's just like ah he's like walking down that hallway like freaking out he can't look at his own reflection um i don't know it's worth a watch i it convinced me after you know 20 minutes of dissecting the

film and showing like piece of evidence after piece of evidence i mean it mounts over the course of 20 minutes like one thing after another um it was really good i've started watching a lot more of that guy's videos i can't think of his name but if you just search the shining um molestation yeah you know you you'd find it that's pretty good i love the fucking shining that's that's yeah that's one of my that's definitely one of my favorites i don't think i include i think i included it i someone asked me for a list of movies the other day on the subreddit. And I think I threw that in under horror. It's been forever since I've seen it.

I read the book to impress a girl. Very different. Very different. It's been so long. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting at the beginning.

So in the, in the book, uh, they make their way to the overlook hotel and a, and a VW beetle. I don't remember if it was blue or red. It doesn't matter. And in the movie, they're making their way to the hotel, and on the side of the road as they go up,

a family in a VW Beetle has had a car accident, and clearly they're all dead. And that's sort of Kubrick's way of letting you know, this is where we part ways with the original story. We're doing our own thing now. And there's no maze in the book. At the end of the book, the hotel explodes. There's a lot of big differences.

Nicholson kills it in that movie. Nicholson's so fucking good. I love that scene where he's walking his wife up the stairs and he's like, honey, love of my life. Put that fucking bat down. She's like, honey, love of my life, I'm going to put that fucking bat down. She's like, stay away! Stay away! He's like, I'm not going to hurt you.

I'm going to bash your fucking brains in. It's just so fucking good. He's so out of his mind. He's so fucking good in that movie. And when, what's his name, the black guard black guard yeah he's one of my favorite actors when the black uh guy who also has the shining scat you know yeah scat when he like is the guy who's ever like he he hears the shining and he like leaves immediately to go save the family, save Danny. And you think, just like every other movie you've ever seen,

all right, they've got to hold out until Scat gets there. And then he's going to solve it. And then Scat makes it nine feet into the hotel in his big, big billowy coat looking around. And Jack Nicholson comes around from the side behind that pillar and just, just right in the chest, murders him

immediately. And it's like, oh shit, well, I guess that's it. You know, who can possibly save them now? Yeah, it's, that's, I love all of Kubrick's movies. There's so much going on, so much hidden in the background of his movies, so much subtext, so much stuff left up for the

interpretation of the audience. What's the one with the ultra-extreme violence? I can't remember anymore. Clockwork Orange. Time for a bit of the old ultra-violence. Yeah. I'm singing in the rain. Just singing

in the rain. It's hard watch the guys the second half of that movie sucked yeah there was ultra violence and that was kind of neat and you're like oh my god i can't believe they're doing this this is so insane and and the level of just like the complete lack of empathy and then they spent another like 45 minutes just like torturing the guy which was torturing me yeah i mean you're right that the second half is much weaker than the first half but it is it's a fantastic movie overall i like it because it's fucked up that like scene where they're raping the wife is the most macabre juxtaposition of a joyous song and skipping and like twirling a cane and having fun and crippling a man and raping his wife yeah it's such an uncomfortable kind of scene like it's it's

unique in that but it doesn't even begin to compare with the difference in quality between the first half of full metal jacket and the second half of Full Metal Jacket because the first half of Full Metal Jacket is fucking incredible it's great while they're in uh boot camp it's what it's you're totally invested and then as soon as they leave boot camp it's like a an alien invader a body snatcher stole Stanley Kubrick and made a piece of shit ridiculously stupid terrible i literally started that movie and stopped it halfway through and thought all right there's the end for me i to me i like the second half of full metal jacket more than inglorious bastards more than the really the second half of inglorious bastards falls off a cliff too i don't know maybe i'm not

you're right that it does like it becomes all about that stupid movie theater and it's like no i want to see the bear jew caving in nazi skulls for the next hour i don't want to watch this you know fruity toot loves french movies and her black boyfriend burned down a bunch of nazis in there like it's i agree yeah that that that's i've talked about that before. It's a real downer. And it was advertised as, I need me eight Jewish American soldiers. We're going to be doing one thing, one thing only, killing Nazis. And I was like, all right, well, here's my $10. That's what I'm here for.

Let's kill Nazis for fucking Tarantino? Two and a half, three hours? All right, let's do it. And that's not what you got. It was a real downer. Do you like 2001 A Space Odyssey or Doctor Strangelove? I haven't seen Doctor Strangelove. Ooh, that is a dark comedy that is in many ways mirroring Henry Kissinger, our ambassador to the United Nations.

They're all represented there. The guy who was the head of the nuclear missile command, there's a character parodying him in there. one of the Air Force commanders goes rogue, sends his nuclear bombers to hit Russia and so they've got the war room assembled with the president and all the chiefs of staff and they're trying to stop this thing. And the president's on the phone with Premier Kissoff, Dmitry Kissoff of the Russians, and he's like, hello, Dmitry? Yes, yes, well well one of our commanders he he did a funny thing dimitri and well i'll tell you what he did he he sent his bombers to uh to attack your country not not dimitri let me finish and and so the whole thing, it's this dark comedy where you've got George C. Scott, just, Mr. President, we have to attack now. Now, Mr. President, we have to bomb them all. If we attack now, we can take out 90% of their contingencies.

really dark comedy, but it's not too long after the Cuban Missile Crisis, so it's, like, very political for that time. It's in black and white, which can turn some people off, but I love it. It's funny and dark and really, really well made because it's fucking Stanley Kubrick.

That in 2001. 2001 is one of the best space movies ever. That shit was made, like, 1968 and it still holds up today with those special effects. I feel like there should be more space movies. Yeah, man, I love space movies. All the space movies. Space horrors in particular, but space movies in general.

I agree. I definitely agree on the space horrors. Space is a fucking scary place. You're so alone and vulnerable, and everything there can kill you. And I feel like there are a lot of plausible space horror plots, plausible space horror, as opposed to everyday horror, which usually require a lot of really bad decisions.

A lot of happenstance. There's a lot of, like, so many missed opportunities to exit that building, right? So many. This fixes so many horror stories, right? Like a cell phone, a cell phone or a gun or just a friend with an IQ above 80. Like you can get out of like virtually every horror movie scenario.

But if you're in space, no one can hear you scream. A lot of the time, like, yeah, with horror movies, like it's as simple as the person watching something horrible happen they watch for 10 seconds too long when any real person would have been running away from whatever they're witnessing you know like that's enough to ruin it for me in a lot of movies where it's like this this like it pulls you out of it because you're like there's no chance that you would watch some demon mauling

you know if kyle's getting mauled by a demon over there, I don't stick around for 10 seconds to see what happens. I'm gone. What? You're going to leave me? I feel a sense of obligation. Yeah, no, I would jump in. It's probably the wrong call, but that's what I do. I wouldn't expect you guys to jump in for me, and

I would not jump in for you if I was Satan. Look, I've got my holy water here somewhere. Like, I would be jump in for you and fight Satan. Look, I've got my holy water here somewhere. I would be all over that. Fucking throwing it at him and making crucifixes and doing my best to fake some Latin. Maybe he just needs to believe it's real. Maybe he doesn't speak Latin. Yeah.

So you can fake it. Just try random shit. Like say Beetlejuice three times. I don't know. It could work. There's another problem. That does not work on me. Shit.

That didn't hurt you. Does it work on anyone? Not really. Space horror. Now, if an alien got you, like, if we're, like, behind, if we're at the, you know, we're staying at a hotel or something, and're like smoking a cigarette outside and all of a sudden i i go into piss and

i come back outside and there's a beam of light hitting you and you're like in the beam of light doing that twitchy thing like from the x-files you're just like like almost vibrating i'm leaving you the fuck alone. You're on your fucking own. I would rather face an army of demons than one spaceship. This is like arguing over who can imagine the bigger goblin. Like, I'd rather face an army of this made-up thing versus one of this made-up thing versus one of this made-up thing. I would rather face anything than those aliens.

After we talked about... At least you know that an alien is a living being that can die. You don't know that about a demon. I don't know what it takes to kill him, though. I don't know his anatomy. This isn't like fucking Predator. If he bleeds, he can kill it. No, we don't know. We don't know we don't

know maybe we can't kill it remember the aliens from signs how fucking scary that was when they were like running around in mel gibson's backyard you're like shit if the road warrior can't solve this who can and then it turns out that all it took was like the same thing you do with like misbehaving cats like and you spritz it with a little bit of water and they're like oh no it's a one that's 70 this is poison it took one hair lip triple a baseball player to solve that solve that situation swing away swing dude i cry i love that movie i love it too knocked it no no no no anyone who shits on that movie is wrong. That was one of his most popular movies.

That's a movie that both terrifies me and touches me at the same time. Right? Just like a good child molester. It's fucking scary. All right? When Mel Gibson gets there, he's like trying to look under that pantry door. And he's like, and he's not saying a word, but you can get in his head, you know what he's thinking, he's like, I want to know what the fuck's under there, alright, fuck this, I'm not

I'm a grown ass man, I'm going to fucking look under that door and he looks under that hand and goes like reaches out for him, I'm like, ah, fuck, that wasn't a people hand that was not a people hand, and he cuts the fingers off with that knife and runs the fuck outside and and then of course the thing's been running around his yard and they had that conversation and he's like the thing jumped on the roof though and and the the sheriff's deputy like is like well you know i've seen in the olympics they was a fella he high jump must have been seven or eight feet so are we saying it might have been an olympic high jumper

in my backyard running around last night like and so then at the end of course when all the pieces come together i won't spoil it but there's like religious overtones and you get to see like how all of the pieces that you've been getting throughout the whole movie fit together in this mosaic of like religion and meaning and lost faith and then he's like mel gibson fucking looks over and swing away meryl and fucking meryl looks up on the wall at that bat you're like yes yes and and you know how and they've been touting his his his baseball bat swinging power the whole movie you know they were like I ain't never seen no one hit one that far before. Every time he went up, he'd just swing as hard as he could.

So you're like, no, this guy. There was a reason for it, too, like a non-baseball reason. I don't recall it, but for whatever reason, this guy only swung for home runs for something outside of just baseball. The reason was, he said said it felt wrong not to swing that was that was his whole reason it felt wrong not to swing man i have not i need to re-watch that i haven't seen it get set back and the alien's like seven and a half feet taller so the way it comes together at the end so the whole movie is just like a 90 minute setup for the last

scene and like i tear up at that last scene I do too it was a really good movie and I guess Kyle liked it too but there are a lot of people who define it as the who made it I forget the guy's name there are a lot of people who define it as his first bad movie

the one where the decline started but I don't I see it as one of his peak movies you want to watch that scene yeah dude all right let's let's do this give me just a second and make sure it's set up right yeah man new setup so so if you've never seen signs turn away for like the next two minutes because you and then go and go watch signs and then come back to the show because signs really is a it's great all right like like if you're some sort of anti-religion nut nut job you know i'm not religious at all but there are people who are like anti-religion and

then and maybe they can't handle the fact that like there's some religious overtones in this movie then then you know go fuck yourself and don't watch this or whatever but if you like good movies and you and you like like thrillers with a cool twist, this is fucking excellent. And by the way, new computer. Check out how smoothly this plays. Jinxed myself. Holy shit. Look at that.

We have the technology to play YouTube videos. It's kind of a big deal. To play YouTube videos. Yeah, it turned out I could go on and on. But apparently, I probably had a bad driver that was giving latency spikes. But I just got the new computer and going. Anyway, three, two, one, play. Look at that music.

Man, he looks young. Yeah. Swing away, Merrill. Merrill, swing away. This motherfucker doesn't know what's coming. 507 feet. I like the little... Little flack. Oh, God. I'm sorry. Look at him. Great move Dude great movie oh great

dude i forgot how ridiculous the alien looked yeah yeah that cgi has not aged well but i guess it's from 2002 the final scene in isolation doesn't tell the story like kyle laid it out there as the the mosaic they that kid they put that, they're trying to put something and have him breathe it in. The kid has asthma. It's a big problem. They lay it out there in the show. The daughter or the son, I don't recall, has like a OCD type thing

where they leave half-drank glasses everywhere. It tasted funny. Is that what, yeah. It had a hair in it. And of course, the guy is a you know 507 foot home run hitter and all these things have just been laying it out there the whole time and then in that last scene like every oddball characteristic of the major players in the film came together to save the lives of i guess everyone involved from the aliens. And it's pretty cool.

I just looked up that little girl. Totally fuckable now. Let's see. Prove it. She's 21. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow! Oh.

Hello there. Yeah, she's pretty. is that her only picture no five one no there's more oh she's pretty fat god you are so you are so harsh i'm just joking because it's become a meme at this point the third one down is even better yeah i agree that's where i am she's got some big old titties yeah she's she's got the kind of body that's not she's what curvy actually means it looks like it is but i know what fat people we're goofing about the or i guess i'm goofing about the pre-fat thing but really if you look like that at 21 i don't like the way you're looking at 40. Hang on a goddamn minute. Woody might be on to something. 5'1", 123 pounds. That's not heavy. I like my 5'1".

Okay, let me look up BMI. Yeah, go ahead. Okay, I'm going to look up a BMI calculator. All right, 5'1", 125. 23.66 bmi that is in normal range i don't care what range it's in she's a little she's a little curvy yeah she there's nothing wrong with a little curvy ah not yet like as as long as i'm labeling her pre-fat i'm labeling her pre-fat look at her face she's got a fat face oh She's got a fat face. Oh, she's got a round face.

But I am the last one to cast stones about her face size. That's a pre-fat girl. I'm sorry. She's cute. What is she doing now? What show is she on? She started her career as a baby girl. Now she has no opportunity to get proper...

Oh, that's a movie she was in. I have no idea what she's up to now i was just saying she's also i i just want to point out 121 is the weight she admitted to yeah it's not like they not like you put this bitch on a scale yeah i need to weigh her in myself because I'm pegging her at 130-something. I'm pegging her at 130-something. All right. I'm just saying, like, if she's 5'4", 130, that's fine. But, I mean, three inches is a lot.

Especially those three. I mean, it's not like we're going from 6' to 6'3". Like, 5'1"-5'4", that's... What's an average height. What's an average height for a woman? An adult woman? 5'4"? I was going to say 5'5". This is Google-able. It's shorter than you think.

I think the average male height is 5'9". I don't think it's 5'10". So 5'5 for women. You may be right. 5-9 or 5-10. I thought it was 5-9. Big money, big money. 5-10.

Nailing it all night. It has been Kyle's night. You can't get past that. It's Kyle's night. That's true. He's making hilarious memes on the PKA Reddit. You're banging on all cylinders tonight. And it's because of that pizza and your fried mushrooms.

A couple of good jokes here. The child molester thing. It's been a good night. Everything's coming up, Kyle! Man, I really like the memes on the subreddit. So if you're not on the subreddit, basically it's that image that many of you may have seen. Pretty much just me. Where Woody points the shotgun.

But just like any good Reddit meme, it gets twisted and manipulated and becomes different things as time goes on. So, you know, we put Wing's face on Woody's body. We put Taylor's face. We put my face.

And, you know, they say things like, when someone makes an unexpected withdrawal from the emotional bank account, that's Taylor's. You know, then you get the shotgun out. You're angry mode. Mine has Wing's face on Woody's body,

and it says, when he streams that shit. This one, when you come into the kitchen and find your wife is making chili. Of course, a reference to the fact that Woody hates Jackie's chili. It's terrible. It is awful. It's virtually unedible.

And not to mention what it does to his digestion. It's a horrible thing. I like how Woody chimes in right after where Kyle's like, a reference to the chili that Jackie makes. And Woody's like, it is awful. Like you're a CNN reporter. Like, it is, in fact, awful.nn reporter like it is so uh the entire front page of our subreddit is nothing but these with the exception of one that's saying stop these with the wings meme hitting the stop sign and the one i made mocking uh hutch because like chis and

taylor argue with hutch like hours on end on twitter if you want to see and and chis is a little more left than taylor or i i would say me i would say that taylor is more right than i am i'm more left than taylor is probably to extent at least. And Woody's just a little bit more left than me. But what you have to understand is that if you zoom out from the three of us, the spectrum's enormous. And we're just kind of in the middle of it, really. And way the fuck over there. Where's Chiz?

Is he normal in the middle of us too? Chiz is a little to the left of me. You think he's left of you? Oh, for sure me. You think he's left of you? Oh, for sure. Oh, no. He was all Bernie Sanders. Everyone get free shit. What's the problem?

All right. All right. So he's a little to the left of Woody, right? Free college. And like I said, if you zoom out, you see that the scope is enormous. And we're just this little infinitesimal part of it and way the fuck over there to the left so far away that the human eye is not protected is hutch hutch is over there like like we just need to maybe that maybe castro's brother should come in and be president

for a while like he knows how to make socialism work like like like these aren't he didn't literally say that but he would who's to say that mal was wrong you know it's like like like hutch is and and and he would say that i'm i'm being silly here but but he's borderline a communist forget social it's a little ridiculous do you remember when he gave everyone shit for like being capitalists on youtube like yeah because he what because look selling things for a profit woody oh how bourgeois of you because the rest of us weren't silly enough like all the people like all the big people like who are big enough to have a bunch of twitter followers who are like actually communists and socialists it's like they imagine they would be like the head of

the fun department when the Bolsheviks come to town. It's like, no, you're gonna be executed with the rest of the elites. Yeah, absolutely. No, but anyway, yeah, you're- So they have these arguments, debates, excuse me, between Taylor, Chiz, and Hutch. And Hutch is O and 10 trillion at this point. He has, oh, yes, I know. Would he agree with that?

He wouldn't agree, but that doesn't change it. Yeah, like, he's probably not the best source, probably not the best scorekeeper for this thing. I mean, I look on objectively, and I think maybe, and this isn't me throwing stones at him, but maybe he's drinking. Maybe he's not taking it that seriously. Although he does spend four to six hours every night doing it,

so maybe that kind of flies in the face of my previous point. But all I'll say is if you go on there and you click expand, you better have a good graphics card because it's gonna go these threads go on for hundreds of replies and he's he's he's not great at at debunking taylor's points and taylor's quite good at debunking his and chiz always comes out on the right of hutch which i think is a good indicator of of of what's going on here and it's just fun to watch this thing so my meme of course is is this one this is this is what i posted i've showed them every me i've i've opened like the last 300 you showed

the one of hutch with the gun oh yeah yeah for sure yeah yeah yeah for sure definitely got that that was like fourth on the list yeah yeah like i like it though because like like if it was just me and chiz in a room like we would disagree on a lot of stuff as far as politics are concerned but with somebody as far left as hutch suddenly me and chiz are like, my boy. Yeah. Like we're on the same page. Like it is ridiculous. Because I used – and I do think Chiz has moved to the right a bit in the last year or so. Like I know he's become more of a fan of like Ben Shapiro.

And that tends to move people to the right a bit. But, yeah, like compared to... I love Ben Shapiro. I think he's fantastic. I like how he rips on Trump when he deserves it, and I like how he gives praise to Trump when he deserves it. Like, it's a good barometer for it. He lost some points with me recently when... I guess there is one dipshit liberal, and I hate dipshit liberals as much as anyone,

who tweeted that they didn't want to see Black Panther because their whiteness would suck the joy out. in my mind he misrepresented like everyone who doesn't agree with him as somebody like that you know look at what antifa is like look at what these lefties are like look at what liberals are like and it's like oh my god people that voted for hillary think she's a dipshit too yeah i mean i i don't agree with everything he says like uh probably the biggest most glaring thing recently is the net neutrality thing he came up on the other side of that and i think he's wrong about it like it it seems and granted i am very misinformed on the whole net neutrality thing but it seems like it's a good idea to have it you know like from my very uneducated

non-expert point of view but for the most part part, I really do trust him as a good source. I know going into it that he's coming at it from a conservative perspective. So when I read his shit, I know, okay, well, maybe I should go check out some far-left person. I'll go read a comment or the equivalent kind of foil article on CNN or MSNBC or whatever or HuffPost or something just to kind of understand a little bit what or msnbc or whatever or huff post or something just to kind of understand a little bit what the other side's thinking about this issue because you never really do and it's so easy to get like inculcated in your own little bubble and be like everybody

who's not me is an idiot like where do you read him i just watch his videos uh daily wire that's his publication so yeah i listen to his podcasts fairly often i don't i don't i at least one a week probably two a week i listen to uh and then daily wire i read his articles because that's way faster than podcasts and it's more convenient for for my lifestyle um but yeah i really like him he that's the thing like uh it's very rare that anyone attempts to debunk him on mainstream issues all they say is he's smug and talks too fast i like that it's like that's like yeah i i like that he talks quickly too i think he's very good at defending himself he's incredibly articulate and he knows what he's talking about.

He's fucking smart. I'd vote for him for president in a second, even though I disagree with him on abortion. I don't give a fuck about all the religious stuff as much as him. But as far as economics, gun control, some social issues, like the way morality's kind of falling apart in the country and that shit, I like that. But is this Kyle? He does it just like that you can just link that gif and walk away

what is this gif uh it's a mean-spirited thing kyle made oh yeah i was gonna show it i don't understand how it's mean-spirited it's just a guy shooting a gun oh okay then yeah did he use that like fake thing the what we talked about on porn recently there's like a free app you can use to oh uh fuck what does it start with a d dapper deep fake deep yeah oh deep fake yeah and you can put people's faces on other people's faces. I haven't actually seen an example, but I know they banned it from Reddit. You're not allowed to do that anymore. Kyle, did you make that? Or find it?

I found it, but I used a website to combine, you know, combined GIFs. So if you remember that subreddit, it's where they combine multiple, two GIFs together, juxtaposed, like to make a funny outcome one gift i i know i i i found the combined gift i made was rather tasteless because on the other end that's the one i want to see well there were children fleeing and uh and getting a picture i like it and i would link that but it expired like the site i used to like do a combined gift i guess doesn't keep the images on their server for more than like

i don't know how long but i tried to link it but it was expired and then i couldn't find the gif of the children running um so i couldn't make it for you again but you know can you guys hear the sirens no i can't hear you so i'm sure the viewers can i don't know i'm just like fucking fire department jesus get there turn your shit off i don't know what you're honking your horn for and running your sirens i think they just like playing fireman at some point police sirens go off three times an episode for me and i just mute it every time another hammering another another murder so how rough is the neighborhood out there the inside of your place looks nice oh it is nice like it and it's not even that like where i live

is i mean i live technically in this in the city but it's more just like a safe area of saint lewis is like a very very dangerous part of like seattle or portland or kansas city or raleigh or something like but compared to any american city really like every time they make like baghdad i'm so tired of like how st louis is only ever in the news for bad things like i saw another like uh we have a wonderful parking lot by the library have you seen the arch go to the library late at night why don't they run stories on our parking lots but like you'll like they showed something the other day where it was like these like graphs of

the most dangerous cities by continent and i was like please just for once don't have us on this list and it was like usa fucking saint louis right at the top it's like god damn number one because i mean i would have thought chicago or or maybe New York. Chicago is so much bigger. The per capita is not as bad. Well, the way they gauge it all, obviously, is per capita. And per capita, St. Louis is the only American city that's in kind of like the realm of Honduras average. And that's not a group you want to be a part of. So you live in a shithole city. Oh, it's an incredibly dangerous city

i'm just going like people will come in from out of time or out of town rather and they'll be like i'm going to a cardinals game i'm going to a blues game or whatever it's until two years ago i'm going to a rams rams game and i'm like hey that game ends at like 11 p.m be careful park somewhere that's really populated so that you'll be walking back in a big crowd and they're like oh yeah i bet trust me i walk downtown in portland all the time and it's like i bet you too retard you're in for a hammering if you don't walk back the right way like is it that bad because i feel like i'm an idiot from portland in this scenario i every time i hear about these like terrible parts of town or whatever i look around and i think it's not that bad

i went to a restaurant three weeks ago there's a restaurant here called bar louis there's a bunch of them uh or a handful of them and i went to one uh one of its more popular locations like i guess it was like five weeks ago now and i was there with someone and she and i were sitting and she wasn't from the city area she was from further out west where it's safer and we were sitting having a beer eating and it was 8 45 at night not super late and out of nowhere a giant group of hoodlums to the right who were eating next to us start sprinting, sprinting out of this restaurant right onto the street. Like it's a city area. So there's just a street and a bunch of cars parked and shit. And then you run out there. And I was

looking around like through the window of the restaurant, looking out towards them. Like what the hell are these guys running out there for? I look out there and there is a big fat white bitch and a short black guy in a fist fight and i go oh it's good that all these fellas are running out there they must be trying to settle it down no no they made a circle around the brawlers in order to make sure that neither of them could escape and that they had to keep fighting and so they kept fighting out there this this white this fat white bitch god she took some lozon-esque punches and kept coming back for more this black guy decked her in the face to the point that everybody else in the restaurant was like oh shit man oh he ain't gonna hit her again like that did she outweigh him is this a big white fat chick

versus like a kat williams dude? They were both probably like five Six ish she was fat. He was not he was like skinny, but like a little bit of muscle on him this dude Well to be fair she was antagonizing just as much as him, but this dude punched her in the face Knocked her onto the ground this lady in the restaurant with me goes, Call the police! Call the police! He beat her up! And so people are calling the police, trying to get the police to show up.

And this continues. Are you on a first date in this scenario? No, it was someone that I was fucking and we wanted to get food afterwards. Okay. And she goes down, stands back up like almost right away, which is remarkable. The dude's like hoodlum friends pull up in some ratty ass Chevy Blazer. But instead of him running over and getting in it right away, they continue to fight.

She had both of her legs scraped to fuck. Her pantyhose or whatever, torn to shreds. She went over to him one final time after a few punches had been thrown. And this was, keep in mind, this occurred over the course of, like, 25 minutes. After, like, the first 10 minutes, it was like, the police probably aren't coming. Like, they've got other shit to do. And so, like, he was about to go get in his car with the chevy blazer he gets one foot in there and she comes over and she's still doing her i fuck you i fuck

you i you hit like a bitch or whatever and i'm and i'm enjoying watching because it's entertaining and he comes over takes his foot out of the car walks over they're between two cars you know like parked at the uh the parking meters they're're between two cars you know like parked at the uh the parking meters they're right between two cars in that very small area this dude gives like that sucker punch pop where he hits her so fucking hard in the jaw she goes down hits her head off the side of this parked corolla or whatever the fuck and then is just laying there on the ground popped up again like another minute good for her. Good for her. She was like Pam from Archer. Like, just could take a beat.

And the dude gets in his car. They start to drive away, and they're, like, flashing a bunch of gangstines and shit. And then, like, ten minutes after all of this. They're proud of their victory. Yeah. Yeah, I beat that white bitch up. Took that, bitches.

Yeah. And then, like, ten minutes later, I was like, you know what? I don't think the police are coming and they didn't they just never showed up bitch got their shit kicked out of her right in front of this restaurant 8 45 p.m in a large metropolitan area police never showed up because they're dealing with the hammer murderer or some shit like they don't know i i knew a cop and he said that as you get wiser and you're a veteran you show up to fight slower and slower and i was i was unimpressed with his attitude towards this thing right there's someone that really might need his help but he didn't give

a shit yeah it makes sense from the perspective of keeping him safe but it's totally piece of shit when it's like you know you know you're not a librarian right you know you're a cop it's your job to rush there and and help people like yeah yeah maybe one of those participants didn't want to get in that fight at all oh this this actually uh comes around to that shooting it came out today that you know how they have like armed officers sometimes at at schools the dude who was the armed officer at the school did not confront the shooter yeah he was alerted of it and he did not go in like he was too afraid to go in and so it he just continued to let the shooter massacre children yeah i literally it's That should be widely known. He needs to be...

It's becoming widely known right now. Yeah, someone just replied to my, I got a reply on Reddit, and I was like, let's see what this is. Because someone earlier said, I'm not a Hutch fan really, but their most recent debate is about armed guards in schools. What is wrong with some Americans thinking that armed guards at a fucking place of education for children and teenagers is something that they that should be occurring and i'm like armed guards protect our money our sick our politicians why not our children and then some

replied to me a different guy he's like it's not even the issue the last few hospital shootings have had armed guards the florida shooting had an armed school resource officer which i believe is a cop who's being paid to be at the school and he didn't do anything not saying to get rid of them they aren't effect they aren't that effective that's horseshit that's horseshit that's just an argument in your favor of more security which i think is what you were saying not yeah yeah absolutely guy yeah and it's not a one-size-fits-all problem some schools maybe it's just one guy if it's a small school maybe it's more people but like to argue maybe to argue that armed guards being present does not deter attacks is spits in the face of all logic of every bank every airport

every public figure every politician obviously i feel like just 60 seconds ago we were saying the last couple attacks had armed guards, and now we're saying armed guards stop attacks. No, I'm saying that armed guards deter attacks. In this situation, they were armed guards who didn't do their job. For an armed guard to actually help, they have to do their job and be an armed guard. That's not true.

Oh, yeah, they totally would. For example, let me lay this out there like if i have an armed guard at a bank and no one ever robs it because there's an armed guard there he'd have to do anything right and you get rid of the armed guard and they start that armed guard was really almost a scarecrow in that situation and uh you know so in this school the scarecrow didn't work it didn't work in this situation but that's why the point is increased security i worry about it for the money like look i don't want more kids to get massacred nobody wants that but if suddenly we have like a what would it cost to put an armed

guard in every public and private school across america yeah nobody wants we talk about 75 billion dollars a year 150 billion no i don't know what does the tsa cost so little that's not what the tsa on the scheme of how many unemployed veterans do we have we have lots of people who could do this yeah but you gotta that's a whole new person you gotta give a whole new job with benefits what you need is to arm the teachers who already have jobs and you're already paying and give them a slight bonus idea you know i yeah the reason i was just watching the why how why is that the worst they were debating against rubio last night and it reminded me of who teachers are this woman gets up and she's like i want you to explain why you think that this law is bad and give details examples supporting your thing i'm like oh my god these are women i saw a meme on reddit who who

can't figure out the youtube or how to cancel YouTube autoplay, right? And now we want to – they would just make – No, we don't want to arm those. I know, just the best ones, right? Well, to quote Trump, the ones with military experience are the ones who pass detailed or rigorous firearms training courses. I don't have faith that the government is going to accurately turn teachers into part-time security guards that's not what they're suggesting you know i think what they're suggesting is just that the same carry rights that those teachers have outside of school would be extended to school

so someone who already has their concealed carry would be allowed to carry in school as opposed to not i like the idea of specifically picking teachers with military experience because that's a really common thing because a lot of uh states i guess a lot in my school we had two or three teachers who did not have teaching degrees they had military experience and that worked as a teaching degree um we had mr hall who had rage issues and walked with a limp because some iraqi shrapnel hit his knee uh that dude if he were armed i feel like he keeps all fucking safe he would like nothing better than to hear some gunshots down the hallway because now he can take out his rage against jimmy that little fucker who keeps talking in class, he gets to fucking cock and lock and head down the hallway and put somebody down.

Or Miss White, who had, you know, she was like an army sergeant or something. She had firearms training. Definitely ex-military people. But no, the average teacher has no business carrying a pistol in their current position because, you know that there are probably who might be good is i'm thinking it through i had a couple we had i'm old right so we had a

vietnam vet teaching us he was a pretty interesting guy um and it i want to maybe not him maybe not him maybe not a nom we invaded the first time and i was a senior in high school and i don't recall many wars before the first iraq one it seemed like we had a gap it went from like Korean War to Iraq War one so we don't know what the scoop is but we're on the front lines for getting drafted now in hindsight that's ridiculous it never came close to that but like our population didn't have any experience with like the draft and he just sat in front of the class and held up a newspaper that said it's war in a font so large it took most of the top like above the fold and he's like if you're in the military for any

length of time this is your reality you're going to get deployed you're going and it was a it was a lesson that you don't normally get in high school because this guy was a veteran and he would have made a good guy there were there were a couple I'm thinking right now, my brother-in-law, my real-life brother-in-law, is an ex-Air Force guy. And I would trust him to defend kids. Yeah, sure. So there's a couple. I still worry in general about the implementation and about the qualification process. When I first heard it, they almost made it seem like an opt-in.

Like, hey, if teachers want to get a little bonus. You want a gun? Yeah, you want a gun? Hey, there gun hey there's a bonus for you bring it bring it in we'll see oh yeah that'll do that'll do and i don't want that i want the training it definitely needs to be more rigorous requirements and or training than or what are required for a carry permit for example because i know in north carolina you've got kind of a stringent thing going on but that's not good enough to to for what we're talking about it's just not we're talking about this guy's gonna have a concealed or girl's gonna have a concealed weapon around kids all day you can't fuck up you have to have some serious training honestly it needs to be a little bit better than the cops are trained because they're not trained very well with their firearms cops

can't fucking shoot most of the time you really need a six week course like you need some kind of course where you do a hundred hours of training minimum like a lot of teacher jobs where i think they can't carry um i just have two in my head one is a kindergarten teacher uh that i know kindergarten teachers often have a special dress code because they get on the floor a lot and they crawl and they do things that an AP history teacher wouldn't have to do. And the other is gym teacher. I suppose it's possible, but when you're teaching people to play volleyball, you're teaching people grappling, you're teaching people soccer. Can you still carry effectively with that job?

I feel like you wouldn't. You just get your shotgun. It's got a nice spread. with that job. I feel like you wouldn't. You just get your shotgun. It's got a nice spread. Yeah, so... This is why I'm still feeling like... Like, if you're qualified to carry as a teacher,

I think you should be allowed to. But I think the main solution is gonna be armed guards. Nah, they're too expensive. And also, I feel like it... It's not, though. It's like adding one more teacher to every school and that they can't afford their fucking teachers they can't afford pens and paper right now they

can't add a whole new teacher they're already they're cutting teacher jobs like like they they've already done the math and shown that just doing what trump said and and putting like make giving five arming five percent of teachers or whatever it is, is like $700 billion or something absurd like that. Just paying some small bonus to a small percentage of current teachers is almost more money than is bearable. So adding a whole new occupation to each school is just it's just not a not gonna work the the things that made sense to me was a single entrance to the school one way in uh metal detector there you've got a guard sitting there in a chair everybody's getting uh metal detected he's got a gun on him for for damn sure um and they need some procedures for what to do in case of a shooting and they probably shouldn't

call it active shooter drills because that will i can just imagine all these fucking seven-year-olds who are having nightmares because every time they do an active shooter drill and they have anxiety absolutely i never having anxiety about fire drills you never i mean i don't think that's quite as scary as yeah do it routinely and it becomes like everyone knows it's a drill i swear if there was a fire in my school someone pulled it everyone would assume it was a fire drill everyone would shuffle out like bored zombies because that's what we did every time unless you smelled smoke and saw the flames and if there's a school shooting you're here pop pop pop pop pop pop down the hall i think there's a school shooting, you're hearing pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop down the hall. I think that's a good point.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a fair point. It would be horrible. I mean, any solution is going to cost a lot of money. Yeah, absolutely. I think a cheap thing to do, the cheapest first step is obviously one way into your school. Although that would not have worked at my high school. No, that wouldn't have worked for every other kind

of requirement. My high school was going to have all these. They'd be like, oh, you're going to have one entrance, one exit. What about tornadoes? What about fires? What about blood? He didn't say exit.

Yeah, one entrance. Multiple exits. Oh, OK. Yeah. But the way my high school was set up, you would have needed multiple checkpoints, because there were blocks. There was like, there were hallways set in squares and then there were multiples of those uh and then there were just long hallways there were

they were all by themselves they were set apart so you had to walk from one building to another to actually enforce that thing you needed like literally one two three four you don't need four checkpoints four armed guards. Because there were separate buildings? Yeah, there were four separate buildings, including the gym. And you got to include the gym because it's massive. And you had three classes, four classes going on there simultaneously at any one time, between health class, weightlifting, and the 2PE classes.

For ours, it would have just been a real hardship to go to that one door. It was a big enough building that you need a bunch of doors. Yeah, what's confusing is, like, I feel like any kind of precaution we take has to be, you know, tangible and defensive. So either teachers with guns, you know, to Kyle's idea, or more armed guards to what I think more might be plausible depending on the money. But the idea of, oh, we'll just outlaw, like make more laws about this. It's like this isn't going to help. And the comparisons that people make to, oh, it works in Great Britain, it works in Australia.

It's like there's not a culture of firearms there. There are more firearms in this country than there are people. It is not hard to get a gun. I'm doing my part. If you need one. Like, if you're an evil person. That's a good movie. Taylor didn't like that movie. You didn't like Starship Troopers?

Yeah, now usually I like to dog Woody because I give him shit for maybe having not so great taste in films. You were incredible. You, Taylor, did not like Starship Troopers. That's a fun movie. I think less of you because of that. We all do.

Fuck you, then. You know, the comedic spin on fascism in america and and the military industrial complex and and the propaganda juxtaposed with with fucking arachnids ripping people apart come on i'm not even that well armed and i got enough guns for all of us to shoot with our hands and feet they said how much ammunition i think is i'm like uh i'm a good american gun owner and then i'll think like not compared to woody or kyle give it time close you will be at 45 i could see getting up to 12 oh yeah i'm sure i be. I'm looking at a new gun now. I don't have an AR, and I want one. What kind would you get, Kyle?

It's about what your budget is. I mean, I was hoping to not spend more than $1,200. Okay. You should build your own. You should build your own AR. I got some in my goddamn eye. What price range do you think is appropriate for an AR? Just curious.

It's like what price range is appropriate for a car. They vary so much. They vary from about... You can get a really cheap one for about $600, or you can get crazy and spend $3,000. And then the other side of it is, does that include a scope? No. That's way cheaper than I would have thought.

$600? That might not be the one you want. See, the thing about guns is they're so durable. And everyone here knows this. I don't pretend to be telling you. You got to buy the one you want because it will last longer than you. So, you know, know whatever if you're

deciding between the 800 one and the thousand one god your children will be judging you on it so get the one you want yeah what's uh what's the brand that you that you have what do you i don't even know kyle would know is it like double tree or something oh it's um it doesn't matter i can't think of it honestly right now um like here's one for here's a 500 in hindsight i might have got a different one because my front scope or the front iron sight doesn't come off very easily without like modifying the barrel or something yeah it's similar it's a double star i think it's double star could be yeah it sounds about right yeah like here's a here's a 520 one and that's cheap yeah right

ah capitalism that sounds now the thing i'd ask because this is sensitive to me how do you remove the front sight because i can see a day where you like put an iron a red dot or an acog or something on top of it just get a flat top just just get the colt just get the colt one you know how much is the colt one probably more $975. I guess not that expensive. Oh, well then I'm going to lower my price point if I can get a Colt one for $975. I mean, you could go with the classic

Bushmaster here. How much is that? What's this one? Probably $600. I don't see the price. I think in hindsight if i got this i'd like it more than mine although mine has literally never failed to shoot so you gotta start appreciating that yeah the the m&p here is very popular the m&p 15 carbine

this one's a little more tactical it's got a nice uh nice uh front rail you got some uh looks like it's got a better magpul grip on it but these things race guns it blue or red yeah i was about to say these things are like like a honda uh civic or something like you can keep every piece on it is is replaceable and upgradable so like just the grip alone, you can go with just the cheap, cheap fucking plastic grips, and you can just... Ones with palm swells and ones that are sticky and ones that are grippy and ones that have thumb holes in them

and all kinds of crazy shit. The triggers, you can get $500 triggers. Okay? You can get a trigger for... I will not be doing that. Well, it sounds like you got extra budget. Now, you can get a trigger for... I will not be doing that. Well, it sounds like you got extra budget. Now, I will say this, like, if you are going to get one,

I would get a Geissele aftermarket trigger. Why are those so good? The trigger pull is very light. It resets very quickly. It's super easy to accidentally shoot. You're able to fire the gun very quickly. And I'm a little worried, a lot of people are worried,

that whatever ATF comes up with for this bump stock thing is whatever definitions they use to define a bump stock. If they say anything that increases the rate of fire of a standard issue weapon, then these Geissele triggers could easily fall into that because of the way they reset and uh and work so um i was reading recently uh i don't think they're gonna ban assault rifles and i know some people get mad and i just use those two words next to each other but they um the court defined assault rifle and it was anything that accepts a semi-auto that accepts a large capacity uh magazine and i was like damn like if they ban semi-autos that accept large capacity mags

that's like all my favorite guns that's a ruger 1022 um it's everything it's everything there's wooden looking guns hunting those are all the fun ones. That'll accept large magazines. I mean, lots of things accept large magazines. Yeah, lots of handguns accept large magazines. Yeah. You know what? And they're semi-auto. I like lever-action guns.

Yeah, I like those too. If I were to buy a new gun right now, I think it'd be lever-action. It was just, like, cool. Yeah, and you can shoot pretty quick with it too like it obviously you probably lose your aim point more so than you would a semi-auto but i have fun shooting lever actions you should get one of the big loops so you can spin that fucker around like schwarzenegger and terminator 2 yeah or like the 1887s in modern warfare 2 exactly like that those were so much fun i should have used shitty guns more i hardly ever did like the community would decide only assholes use that gun so i

would never use it and in hindsight i'm like why didn't i why did i just have to be victim throughout that you know game's life cycle you know akimbo p90s or something i think that were i don't know if it was p90s my channel was never about gameplay so i could use whatever i wanted like i uploaded one man army noob tube stuff and talked about you know some girl crying during a test in my class or something like just funny shit like heaven forbid nobody ever expected anything out of me yeah i should have set expectations early on i'm like oh no they don't like last man stand i guess i'll never use that again i guess i'll never i used um i got a

bunch of good games black ops one there was one weapon that was better than most was it heavily famas i think it was or was that i think it was the famas and And I used all the weapons kind of equally, but a lot of my gameplays were FAMAS at first because I did well with it, because everyone did well with it. And then just, oh my God, everyone started giving me so much shit. I never used the FAMAS again.

And in hindsight, I should have been like, fuck them. I like the FAMAS. My audience always would defend for me in that circumstance. They'd be like hey taylor stop using the 1887s and then there'd be like six people who are like shut up fag it's like all right i've cultivated a good group of guys it wasn't just the fans like people be live streaming talking about my famas usage other youtubers would upload videos about whether or not i use the famas fuck god assholes everybody man those memes are killing it on the subreddit man like like like

mine's at 355 oh yeah mine's at 355 yours is at 331 what he's at 217 although he came in a little bit later and uh my my hutch one is at 159 and uh of course, the entire front page is all, is nothing but them. And my comment in Woody's thread? Over 200. Oh. I don't know if those points count. Baby Karma whores. You're new to the game, kids.

I've been Karma whoring for years now. Yeah, I get comment points for it i can redeem those for i think every karma is worth a bitcoin i'll double check that oh shit how is i think bitcoins came back oh my god dude bitcoin dropped to like six grand i was patting myself on the back for how smart i was and now it's at nine something high nines i mean you were smart you bought it eight and then you sold it 14 didn't you yeah a little better i bought in the high i call it eight

because it was like 7 800 or 7 900 but i bought just under eight and i sold it like 14 5 yeah you should feel good. Yeah. That's very good. I don't understand how any of this Bitcoin stuff works, but I don't feel like anybody's actually trying. No one understands. No one understands.

If I have this correctly, you do something with your graphics card, and it makes stars. There's a step in the middle I'm missing. You're close, but it's your CPU. You make the stars with your CPU. But it doesn't seem like anybody's actually... Oh, sorry, go ahead. Yeah, I'm going to tell everyone about Bombfell.

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You know you're a mess. Nobody wants you. Get some good clothes. Change all that. It won't help. Yes, it will. It will, though. You're going to have clean teeth with your quip.

You're going to have great clothes. I mean, it'll help some of you, but some of you are lost causes. Let's face it. You just got to pop on over to Fat People Hate on Vote or whatever that bootleg Reddit is. V-O-A-T if you want your Fat People Hate back. Like, I'm usually bringing you guys some good pornography, but this week I brought Fat People Hate back to us all.

Hmm. Vote. V-O-A-T. I knew of vote, because I always hear about, like, whenever a subreddit's getting banned or something, they're like, let's go to vote for this freedom of speech. And I'm like, I'm not going over there. That sounds shady.

But they've got fat people hate. Do they have the, like, young girls, too, I wonder? Whoa. Young girls? Yeah, Reddit used to have our jailbait and i don't even know the other ones but i know there's like a dozen that like they seem to pop up and reddit has to get rid of them oh no kyle's not backing me on the girl thing but that's fucking illegal wait was it just a forum of underage girls?

Jailbait is literally illegal. Because that's just child porn. Well, they're all wearing clothes. So it's just like really creepy photos of like, here's a high school girl at the movies or something. Yeah. These are art photos. They were like swimsuit shots or just like a girl smiling really pretty or something but they were all too young as fuck oh yes yes it was skeevy as fuck i don't even i only know

about that before they banned fat people yes yeah they banned it like i was about to be upset i wasn't really that active on reddit i don't like i didn't i didn't know about jail i'm sorry yeah jailbait until it got banned at which point it was like it was one of the first things they banned and that's how it got oh no what do you see it's porny no it's

it's just it's what you described oh it's on vote okay no I don't want to I'm not clicking that click it you bitch no click it no oh my god these girls are younger than I expected yeah how young are these girls well the first one 12 this one might be these girls some of them could be over

18 but this is if they survive that long anyway and by the way it's definitely not porn no I trust you. I'm just not going. Go.

You guys are on the list. And I do a podcast with you, so I'm on it transitively. I don't need to be on there for real. Join me, the sailor. Come to the dark side. Look at these 13-year-old girls. Why are these? They were born in 2005

like the mouth of Sauron I am drink wine that is not as interesting as these girls I guess what my expectation was was that they would be like 19 but looking 16 or they'd be 16 but looking 19

yes that is the anticipation some of these girls are these are inappropriate and by the way there was no like no nobody topless nobody bottomless nothing like that but they were inappropriate pictures yeah i like the part where the mouth of sauron like like he says something mean and he like tilts his head kind of like taylor's texting some whores so he didn't i hope he is taylor please tell me that's a girl yeah it is of course i don't text guy friends at 10 30 on a thursday i got my hair cut by a black person i do i have guy but we have like chat. Anyway, you got your hair cut by a black person. Yes, by a black. Your hair still looks long to me. Ah, it's much, much shorter now. Oh, it is. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, and she was very quiet. She whispered the whole time, and I could barely fucking hear.

You know, I've been very close to a lot of explosions.