Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #378

Episode Date: March 23, 2018

This week on PKA, competitive eater, powerlifter and YouTuber, Furious Pete, joins the guys and they go into an in depth discussion about Pete's bowel movements, then Pete calls out Bradley Martyn to a boxing match and then all of the guys watch a man slowly get crushed by a car... then they watch his hilarious screams, following the crushing. The best of the best from your typical episode of PKA!

Okay, Painkiller already, episode 378 with our guest Furious Pete. Kyle? Yeah, a couple of sponsors tonight, SmartMouth, Squarespace, Stitch Fix, and Keeps. There are links down below if you just can't wait, but yeah, let's get right into it. Got our guest Furious Pete here tonight. How's it going, man? Dude, so tell people who you are. I've done a little research on you, a little bit of stalking. You were anorexic before, and now you eat like boatloads of nutella and get jacked yeah i mean i guess there's a there's a long story behind i mean her anorexia was back in 2002 uh hospitalized uh 2002 2003 got out of there it took like three

years kind of four years to kind of fully overcome it um and kind of just get rolling into life um was in university was doing my um my degree for engineering uh went for my master's as well and during that process after a night of drinking you know that's just what happens the greatest ideas happen after drinking. My buddy challenged anyone at this breakfast place that we went to to try and break some record in a restaurant. I did that. I doubled the record that was in the restaurant. Then all of a sudden just started doing eating challenges. Posted them on YouTube.

And kind of here we are today. I don't know. Just things kind of just took off from there. Well, it's been a long process. I've been on the youtubes for a little while now the first time i saw your channel was probably two years ago before i started working out regularly and it was just a channel i'd go to every once in a while when i was like like you said a night of drinking where like you're watching videos to try and get motivated and i'm like yeah this starts tomorrow i'm gonna this guy. I'm going to eat 10 cheeseburgers

and be jacked out of my mind. And then it didn't happen. Didn't happen. I know, it's tough. It's tough. Yeah, a lot of dedication. Sorry, Kyle, jumped on you. I was going to say, I see some awards or certificates

or plaques on the wall behind you. What's going on there? We started, those are Guinness World Records. I haven't put up all of them. Some of them are still at my parents' house. like they said yeah those are those are like for food stuff i need to do them again i kind of like been slacking this past year i think i only did like two this past year but i want to do a couple more um but yeah at one point i had 15 guinness world records and then obviously some people you know will beat some records and stuff like that but

some of them aren't i haven't been really touched. So it's fun. I don't know. Do you beat existing records or invent things and then pitch it as a record idea? I have never actually pitched an idea yet. But I think I will just because, I don't know. I have some like crazy ideas or like I'm very good at drinking anything. Like I can drink anything

doesn't matter the taste the consistency i can get it down i know it's disgusting but you put anything into a glass i could take it down what a worthless superpower something really bad that nobody would do um so yeah no but all of these were either, they were either broken or Guinness told me, Hey, would you like to set this? I can see you are the X-Man. Xavier, Xavier, hear me out. Watch this. Anything in this cup.

I can kill it. I should be an X-Man. Do you like front load your records when you're showing them to people where you're like this one, heaviest deadlift after three queso burritos at Qdoba this one most bench pressed while at BAC of 0.09 and then like you just kind of like leave them to keep looking but all like the ones of like most ho-hos eaten at 2 p.m at a 7-eleven like that's not that impressive like funny enough food related non-fitness um but like nobody really ever comes down to my basement this is this like my workstation and stuff so most people this

is usually like a disaster where i am right now so nobody really comes down here that's just we need to put them somewhere record are you least proud of oh that's a great question wow never been asked that one it's always like what's your favorite record oh no i don't know oh i'll tell you one because it's like it was embarrassing that i still broke the record but so in germany i guess a big thing is to be able to eat a piece of toast they call it toast bread uh as fast as you can just one slice no water and i don't know what it was but like when i practice at home i can take like a piece of bread i know it sounds easy but just a slice of bread and take it down as fast as you can obviously if it's just one piece it's pretty easy at home i would do it in like 10 seconds and then when i did this record the

record was like 45 seconds i'm like why is it so high makes no sense and then they gave me the piece of bread it was i guess it was different but it took me like 43 seconds i still beat the record but i was like what 10 seconds at home 40 like what the like it was bad it was bad so i'm not proud of that one i'll put it that way but i still got this diploma and whatever i got to go toany yeah yeah did you jump on the saltine challenge and the cinnamon challenge and yeah i've done i've done a bottle of cinnamon before like an entire bottle yeah that was gross that actually oh funny story so um a bottle of cinnamon cinnamon um will actually make you have like um how do i put this a cinnamon enema cinnamon yes the day after having a bottle of cinnamon i lost 10 pounds wait a minute just because you were shitting all the way i have a strategy here

yeah no really uh cinnamon is 100 fiber right so you're really eating a bottle of fiber and i don't know what else what other properties are in there but i shit out so much um and weighed myself 10 pounds last like it was it was whack was it like a christmasy smelling shit i don't recall what it smelled like it was a little while ago. But I'm sure it smelled wonderful. All my shit smelled wonderful. I mean, some of the videos I've watched of yours, like, you have to know going in sometimes, like, this is going to be a furious shit in about six hours. Like, what's the worst one you've ever had after all your eating challenges? Because I know you've eaten, like, I looked at, like, you ate 25,000 000 calories of nutella but that doesn't seem like it would be a terrible shit because it's just

kind of goo that that i don't like i remember i passed out after that video for like six hours from sugar coma uh but uh i did like i used to do so i i've been doing a german television show for the past like nine years it's a food travel show and there'll be times we've kind of like my producer has kind of realized that like we have to kind of space it out and like i can't go crazy in every single restaurant you go to especially if you have like three four locations that we're filming at but there was times where like when we were first starting we would do a lot of locations and he'd like like it started off as a big consumption um like program so i'd be eating a lot um it was just like like like a competitive eating show kind of thing man

versus food almost kind of thing but travel but now it turned into like a food travel show where we're actually like enjoying the food which is great i i prefer that much more i enjoy the experience um but uh so initially i was eating so much and I remember having a shit where I shat so much that it hit my ass. Like the pile of shit. Yeah, the pile of shit in the toilet hit my ass. That doesn't flush. That's an unbelievable amount of feces. You can't flush that toilet when it hits

that level. There is no flushing. I'm proud if it just cracks the water surface. It was so bad. I was on there for 45 minutes before it hit that because I just couldn't stop. I don't know.

You gotta be flushing as you go yeah i should have yeah you know did you realize that it was gonna touch your ass beforehand or was that just a pleasant surprise mid mid log that you're like what is it something i wish i was vlogging i really wish i wish it was like the time when vlogging was like the thing you gotta take a shower after that shit no no questions asked you do jesus christ now now do you think when you eat like 25 000 calories of nutella that uh that you don't i don't put this you that you don't absorb 25 000 calories that at some point your body's just like holy shit just just push it through not pass go do 200. Yeah. I'm a true believer in that where, you know, obviously I'm not a doctor to state that this is actual facts.

But I'll tell you, like, I've done eating contests. And in eating contests, you're eating an enormous amount of food in like 10 minutes or less, 8 minutes, 7 minutes. And you're eating an enormous amount of food. 10 minutes or less, eight minutes, seven minutes, and you're eating an enormous amount of food. And in my mind, at least, you know, and based on my weight after and the way I looked after, you know, there's no way the body can actually absorb that much food that quickly. Yeah. You know, you know, there's so much is going in there. It's just passing through, you know, maybe you're absorbing 25, 30, 40% max um but the rest is like you know i've i've seen whole pieces come out i've seen a lot of whole pieces come out that's for sure at the

other end uh you know when you're eating that much food that quickly obviously uh when you're doing eating contests very often you're not chewing it down to like a fine paste you're just swallowing big pieces of steak, whatever it is, hot dog, pizza, whatever it is. I got a friend that does that at every meal. Never choose. Some people don't choose. You said sometimes it comes out undigested.

What's the biggest thing that's ever come out undigested? And were you a little alarmed? Is that a chicken wing? It's a bone. It's Jolly Rancher. Man, the plastic's gone. Funny enough, it was a piece of steak. And you could tell it was a piece of steak. And I'm pretty sure I cooked it.

I'm pretty sure I ate that steak raw or medium rare. Or it was rare. It was medium rare. And it definitely came out well done. It came out well done. Definitely, yeah, that's the one thing that I remember. Obviously, I've seen little things here and there, but nothing really substantial. The body's pretty good at breaking down a lot of stuff.

You didn't know this was going to be all about your bowel movements tonight, did you? I was hoping it would be. Well, you're in luck. I want to that's uh did you no go ahead i want to hear about the anorexia a little bit so 2002 you're hospitalized for this how skinny are you at that but do you look anything like current you back in the day i was same height okay i was 100 yeah i was 120 pounds hospitalized. I'm 240 pounds now. You're twice the man you used to be.

That's right. How tall are you just to get a gauge? 6'2". Okay, so 120, 6'2". That is a rail of a person, a man. That's a sexy girl, though yeah that's a sexy girl though yeah it's a very sexy that's a strong problem so do you have any muscles at this point are you just like a skeleton uh you know to be honest when you look at my frame like obviously there's skeleton and

everything but i was i was working out a lot i was running a lot so um obviously based when you're anorexic you are you're not consuming enough calories to retain that muscle but it did look like i was a little bit muscly here and there but you know at the end of the day i was i was really really skinny and bone i mean i could have gone further for sure i could have gone worse uh probably could have dropped like another the body probably would have been able to drop maybe another 10 pounds maybe i don't even know uh thankfully i didn't uh but yeah it was uh i remember two days before actually being hospitalized i was out at a cross-country ski race i was like big into athletics and uh i remember my meal before this cross-country ski race was a can of sauerkraut because I don't know why. I don't know.

My body was craving salts, and it was low-calorie, and it was – I don't know. Anyways, ate a can of sauerkraut. Ended up placing 13th out of 220 skiers, which is pretty good for literally no calories in you you whatsoever and then the next day uh i was hospitalized makes sense yeah makes sense i could have seen that one coming so you guys not even a food in on its own like you put that on top of food yeah yeah i know that's you know that was my life i would eat i would eat like whole heads of of lettuce. That would be like a meal. And it was bizarre. You just sit down with a head of lettuce.

It's so weird. Did you salt it? But it's just like you just convince yourself that that is good, that is the way you should eat. I remember my friends eating. We're at a pizza joint. And they're like, oh, come on over. And I literally came in with a head of lettuce and i was eating that in front of them so you know then they started to know like

something's something's off and oh yeah that's what cued the man definitely a lot of people were cute yeah yeah you're like a real life captain america you know in the in the very first captain america movie he comes in and he's i don't know probably 110 115 pounds and then they they give him that uh that injection and you know now he's steve rogers he's like or whatever he's like 240 yeah yeah captain america doesn't talk about his shit so much though and he didn't i talked about it once you guys kept talking about it everyone likes talking about poop i don't know why like it's such a comfortable subject because we all do it we all have like a weird one here and there and then we always have like a really solid one and we're always so proud of those and you know pooping is just like such a

natural subject our last guest i don't think he talks about his poops very much because when we asked him about him he's like yeah mine seem to to be red and really bloody all the time. I don't know. It's weird, huh? We're like, yeah, that's cancer. He's thinking of ice Poseidon. Was that two guests ago? It may have been. But ice Poseidon definitely has cancer, right?

Way too many spicy things. I mean, if there's blood in your bowel, you have cancer or hemorrhoids? According to Dr. Me, what do I know? I feel like he's too cancer or hemorrhoids? Yeah. According to Dr. Me. What do I know? I feel like he's too young for hemorrhoids. Dude, man. Spicy stuff will do that to you, too.

Really? Blood in your bowel? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You could have an ulcer. I thought spicy stuff wasn't so free to eat. I'm quite young for that. Spicy stuff is good, but if you eat one of the hottest peppers in the world, you know i mean after that i mean stuff like that i remember shitting out glass that's what it

felt like i was like 26 when i had my complete hemorrhoidectomy well dear god right i i feel like you had a rough a rough uh uh upbringing though you though, between the beatings and the work. You can only take so many ice scrapers to the asshole. Your body starts to fight back. He was beaten by his mother with ice scrapers and still had her shoes growing out. It's one of our tentpole topics,

how much I was beaten as a child. But it's a smaller tentpole. The largest one is shit. Yeah, right? It's just a perimeter. Have you ever told a poop story that didn't land that you thought would be hilarious? child yeah but it's a smaller tent pole the largest one is shit yeah right this is a perennial have you ever told like a poop story that didn't land that you thought would be hilarious because all the time well yeah me too like i i've told the story on here many times that our listeners are familiar with of a poop bandit at my high school who the fast forward version is he would

somehow between classes like like a ghost, go into the bathroom, shit, an impressively solid shit, into a paper towel, and then write taunting messages to people on the walls. Where it would be like, ha, ha, ha, ha, you'll never catch me, like, getting closer. And it was, like, different days. Like, it spanned for months. That guy's a serial killer. You can't go to the bathroom on your own

it was it was terrible but i know how he turned out of friends oh yeah i told this to a group of friends and some and some girls were around and of course i think it's fucking hilarious and like as i'm like telling it instead of getting the laughs i was anticipating i got a bunch of like oh what the fuck oh what what the fuck and i was like but i'm in too deep to this story now i can't stop i'm gonna have to amp up the ridiculousness hope i get a laugh and then no the chicks were not having it which is which is odd that is i'm gonna agree with the serial killer thing because that's some weird shit right like like i feel like that is akin to like torturing animals or something or like starting a lot of fires.

You know what I never put together? Is that he also sold prescription pills and those make you constipated. And so that's probably how he was able to get such hard, easy to write with shit. They're practically pencils. At that point, yeah.

Graphite poop. I imagine him using one of those like handheld pencil sharpeners to like sharpen up a turd just right so he can he can dot his eyes and crosses it with a pocket knife yeah ah god that's so gross like i like i i don't want to touch anybody's shit not not mine or yours or animal but he's just i want to know the steps right i want to i want to be like all right so did you like shit on the floor and pick it up did you shit in the toilet and then fish it out did you shit directly into your hand like like did you wash afterwards i would have because he was handling a lot of other kids drugs those are some shitty drugs man it's a big responsibility

yeah but no he didn't shit on the toilet or anything like it was a very calculated Those are some shitty drugs, man. It's a big responsibility. Yeah, but no, he didn't shit on the toilet or anything. Like, it was a very calculated, the shit was only in the message. So, yeah, I haven't kept up with him. Back to the anorexia, were you hospitalized just one time? Yeah, just one time. I was hospitalized one time. Managed to... We lost your camera oh did i get

lost i hear you we just lost your camera ah shit nice profile pic though yeah delightful avatar all right you're back so my back yeah uh you got hospitalized once was there therapy like how did you get past that uh i had some therapy didn It didn't do jack shit for me. I just, I don't know. I had people telling me things and I'm like, you're not going through this. Like, basically, when you have anorexia, what happens or a lot of people with like these mental issues, because it's a mental disorder, you start to develop voices inside your head. And this voice starts telling you things so it starts telling you that you're pathetic you're fat when you're really not um you develop uh an image disorder along with this so you see something that is not reality um you know i think the same thing

happens with like overly large bodybuilders you know i forget the name is bigorexia they sometimes call it body dysmorphia yeah yeah body dysmorphia yeah for sure so i i had an obviously a body image disorder because i didn't see reality uh i had voices telling me different things and um it wasn't so i was hospitalized in december of 2012 i checked myself out six weeks after that uh the doctors told me that i wasn't ready to leave but i was like nah i got this shit i got this shit i had like all these ambitions in life you know i wanted to work for nasa one day that was my goal um and so i wanted to get back into school and get into university um and so got out of the hospital and it was about six months of just a roller coaster

of ups and downs you know getting better and then boom boom boom boom and uh it wasn't about eight months after that after the hospital i kind of just kind of drew the line and uh you know i just kept seeing like how how messed up i was how how much i was affecting like my parents uh my friends. And so I did something that I recommend to a lot of people that want to make a change in their life or, you know, obviously somebody with anorexia. And that is to showcase a picture and showcase a message with your goal. In my case, I did it in a fitness forum publicly you know some people might

not be comfortable with doing that in this day and age obviously there's social media you can post to random places or you can just simply send this to one or two friends that you trust and say hey this is my goal this is what i want to do and I'm not going to give up. I'm going to start going for it. I created the profile name dedicated for life, which is actually my trademark motto to this day. And I just went for it by creating that message, by creating that post saying, this is my goal. This is where I'm at. These are my problems. I actually became more accountable, right, for what I was doing. And by posting that, not only would if you failed, not only would you be obviously disappointing yourself, but you felt like you were disappointing other people. And

that is a good driving force. You know, very often, like sometimes you can disappoint yourself, like, you know, we can get over and all that. But if you tell yourself that, you know, I'm going to be disappointing everyone else, even if it's just like one or two people, it can drive you, it can push you. It's sometimes just that you need that little driving force to get over that hump. And that's what worked for me. I don't know if it's going to work for everyone else. But, you know, by making myself accountable, I was able to start pushing. And no, it wasn't like, you know know i didn't fly off right away and and you know become healthy but you know i had a voice inside my head for like a good three years um just telling me random things but i was fighting it you know i was fighting it and eventually kind of went away

um but about but i was fine for about like a year and a half kind of thing after all this anorexia living life normally in university partying and then uh went out for drinking and uh discovered this eating talent did uh did you ever have that body dysmorphia crop up again in the reverse order where you're like oh i'm not big enough i enough. I'm not muscular enough. I got to be bigger. No, never like that. Never like that. I don't really try and get bigger at all. I'm not into bodybuilding. I did bodybuilding for a little while. I'm just into the strength game, powerlifting,

and just overall having fun. And nowadays, trying to get into boxing because that's all the hype on the YouTubes, the drama, the boxing, and all the stupidity. So get into boxing. Do you have an opponent lined up? I don't right now. Woody's down.

What's that? Woody's down to fight. He's challenged many people to fight. Taylor's down? Fucking Hulk and Durka let him fight you. I'm not going to get my ass beat by Pete. Neither am I. I've never fought before, let him fight you. I'm not going to get my ass beat by Pete. Neither am I. I've never fought before, but

you know. We're on equal playing field there, aside from the fact that you're a power lifter. Yeah, and I'm also Chuck Liddell is going to teach me a thing or two. Is he? He hasn't even offered to help me. Yeah.

I'm excited. That's awesome. How did you get in contact with Randy Couture? He didn't want offered to help me. Yeah. I'm excited. That's awesome. Taylor's training with Randy Couture. He didn't want to work with Chuck. So it'll be even. Okay. It'll all work out. I was training with Kimbo Slice, beating up a lot of people at dockyards.

Rest in peace. We know how that went. Yeah. For sure. For sure. So who are you fighting? Or who's the prospective opponent? I have no idea i uh i called out i uh did another video just because the youtube algorithm has been so messed up for my channel at least like it completely kind of killed my channel back in

november and uh so obviously you sometimes you gotta push a couple videos that you don't necessarily want to push but i am actually using this i did a video today calling out uh you know ksi and his brother at the same time but uh also you know i just told logan paul should just fight me whatever and then uh another character i don't know if you guys ever heard of him his name is bradley martin oh that guy's a beast right yeah yeah yeah stir some drama no but i really did it because uh i wanted to start boxing and again like if i do these kind of videos it kind of pushes me to actually want to train jesus christ bradley martin bradley martin is is like two of you

angles photoshop come on. All right. Okay. All right. Maybe. I have pictures. I have pictures beside you. He's like one and a half of you. Dude, Brett. How tall is, what's the hell is this guy's name? Bradley Martin.

He's about the same height as me. He looks big. So you say angles and whatever. The thing is, I see him a lot in. He's 6'3". Bro Science Life. Of course you know angles and whatever. The thing is I see him a lot in Bro Science Life. Of course you know Bro Science Life. People who don't know him, he's kind of a fitness YouTuber, but he's more comedy-based. And Bradley Martin appears in the background of his videos all the time, which is how I first discovered him.

So those are not just like – he's not not getting Photoshopped in angles in random cameos. No, I'm just joking. No, no, he's a big guy. But, you know, at the end of the day, like, I'll take him. I like that attitude. I would definitely pay to see that. What's that? I'm just watching one quick video to get a feel for the size of this guy.

Cut your fingernails, buddy. I'd never say that to your face by the way if you ever see this no no i wonder i'd say wonderful fingernails you're doing great in life like you can tell when someone is truly that jacked when they wear like a hoodie that's not intentionally tight and like it's loose in all the normal places and then on the arms it's like it's just it that you can see the fabric screaming it's like stop where's the hoodie picture that you're looking at oh it was on one of the thumbnails on his uh on his channel okay it was just him you know pre-lift and then like his intro he was doing like squats with two women sitting on the bars yeah yeah on one of those things that you you lean forward and like lean back uh hoverboards whatever yeah i tried one of those without

even squatting anything and i almost broke my foot falling off so so do you guys have a healthy rivalry then i mean uh to be honest like uh we're creating a rivalry we're having fun if we're gonna be truthful, I'm friends with them. So... No, you're mortal enemies. No, no. I mean, you know, deep down inside, I hate him. I hate him so much.

I wanna punch the shit out of him, kick the living shit out of him, and I will. That's the spirit. How much dry toast can he eat in Germany? That's right! Don't forget it! Take that, Bradley Martin. I hope he sees this. As you're walking in the ring,

I've got Rufus on my side, just in case. With a hammer in my alley. Rufus is a homeless person that lives outside Taylor's apartment. He murders people with hammers. That's not confirmed. It's suspected. Taylor started, he was joking about how you might get hammer murdered

if you live in his neck of the woods. And I thought I was kidding. And then one day I just googled St. Louis, Missouri, hammer and then it just auto-filled to like murder, assault, quadruple assault, quadruple murder. And I was like, holy shit. How much would that suck if you got murdered by a hammer?

I wouldn't like that. I'd so much rather be shot or almost anything but a hammer. That happened to a classmate of mine in high school. You got hammered? You know what I fear, too? Somebody pulling out your fingernails for torture. Her little brother killed her with a hammer because she got in the way of the TV when he was playing video games.

What game? I don't know. I know that it was Nintendo 64. How am I going to afford to judge me? Yeah, yeah. I was in, we had science class together, and I knew her little brother, too. That's fucked. Do you know, I feel like this matters, and I've considered this before if I were attacked with a hammer.

Claw or the hammer part? It was the hammer part. I think it was a non-traditional hammer. It might have been an axe on the other side or something, but he used the hammer side of it. And afterwards, they claimed that he was prone to blackouts and didn't remember doing it. Of course he is.

But is that a defense? Is that an insanity plea i don't know like it i know it would just be this guy blacks out and murders people with hammers send him to prison yeah like this could happen at the dmv i don't know how that bolsters the victim was really nice like she was always quiet and always kind of kind like you know someone who only seemed to have positivity or neutrals right how old was the little was the girl who was killed we were juniors in high school so call her 17 oh wow that's much for some reason i had i had this picture of small children yeah yeah well it was a little brother so he would have been like a freshman fuck that's man and it's his sister too like that's got to make it

even more like what's he doing today? Like him and the shit bandit are cellmates somewhere right now. He's just complaining about the smell, wishing he had a- Stop drawing on the wall with the shit! Can we get a fat breezed bandit in here? Oh my god, that's so fucked up. But yeah, if you google the hammer thing in Taylor's Place, there was one where, yeah, here's one.

Homeless man charged in hammer attack. Homeless man charged in hammer attack on four others sleeping at abandoned St. Louis school. So here's the scenario, right? Four homeless men. They're all homeless, of course. That's why I say that Rufus could easily be one of these hammerers. These four

homeless men are asleep. Tucked into their sleeping bags. I'm sure sober. In an abandoned building. You want to put your money there? And this even more insane individual sneaks up on them in the dark and just goes

ham on them. just starts pummeling them with hammer with a hammer i like to imagine he had one in each hand because he took four of them down right like you would think four men could handle one man even if he has a hammer right at most though because the first guy as he was laying down hammer to the head he's done coup de grace yeah yeah absolutely so you might think ah well there was one big hammering in st louis it's probably been a hammering everywhere there's more then four african american men for some reason i want to say the guy was bosnian or something like that they call it a hate crime yeah they quadruple hammer attacked one man so like four guys each

with their own hammers. I like to picture them as like different hammers. One's got a roofing hammer, one a claw hammer. One's got one of those really long, like 36-inch hammers that you hold with two hands. They hammered him, I think, to death. They may have... I just put in St. Louis hammer attacks.

There are pages of unique results. You guys need hammer control. We do. We need hammer control. You need need hammer control. We do. We need hammer control. You need 21 to buy a claw hammer. You can't blame the hammer. It's just a tool. Hammers don't kill people. Yeah, he would have just as easily murdered them

with a scythe or whatever. I'm glad you went scythe. I wasn't sure where you were headed on that. I'm trying to think of the most obscure tool that nobody needs anymore. I don't know. I would just much rather be shot or ran over by a car.

Something about that kind of a brutal beating, because you know it doesn't end quickly. I don't know if you've seen that gruesome internet video that was out years ago where those two or three i think i want to say like two russian guys grab this one other russian guy who may or may not have been homeless drag him into the woods and like torture murder him oh we watched that on the show something i'm like two guys on hammer or something awful like that something i'm a veteran of internet videos right so it like

i'm a lot of stuff that might like say make a normal person very squeamish i'm i'm over it it's no big deal that video his slow person that comes out you search russian kill homeless right away homeless in forest it starts off with just a little torture a little maiming right and the guy doesn't seem to deserve death like i don't think they know him or anything he would just sort of randomly selected and i think there's a screwdriver stabbing involved and he's just digging around his belly yeah digging and he's hurting but he's he's not fatally injured yet you're like they can put that back together right a couple screwdriver stabs like this doesn't have to end so bad and then some of the hammering like all of a sudden he like his jaw is you're like like i don't think he'll ever be okay you know you stabbed me twice in the belly with a

screwdriver six months from now that was just something that happened once yeah like you bust my jaw so it flaps down or something and and now i have a problem that's hard to come back from you know i'll never be the same and and then it goes towards like he looks like he's gonna die from this attack like digging his eyeballs out with the screwdriver it it is dude what the fuck i'm watching this shit oh it's pretty long it's like 15 minutes long yeah it's a lot of torture oh the video that I see is four minutes on live. You may have an abridged version of that Yeah, yeah, man. I'm enjoying watching your reaction to it. Yeah, it's fun watching your reaction But like it's the kind of murder that like when you see it in a movie like a you know B horror flick

You're like, oh, that's so cruel. It's unbelievable Like nobody's that mean like and then you see this and it's like fuck there are people like that out and would you believe that this hammer attack kyle happened right adjacent to dr martin luther king boulevard the shame you never hear about that usually those areas are safe i was joking about the hammer attack in yeah st louis i noticed it was on that road that's dangerous in every city yeah mlk boulevard mlk mlk avenue you could get hammered on any place named that those are those dangerous fucking sketchy places in any city anywhere we've got a lot of them you know the south is full of them of course it's they should rename those streets something else and make a

safer street mlk make that street like David Duke Lane. Like someone that everybody dislikes, right? Where you're like, I'm not going to David Duke Lane. Like, the fuck is that? I don't know about this strategy, Taylor. No, it's sound. I've thought about it for seconds now. I feel sick watching that, man.

Yeah, it makes you, like, ill. Makes you want to eat 25,000 calories of Nutella, right? Speaking of Notorious Murderers, did you guys happen to see the O.J. Simpson clips that were recently released? All right, so I'm going to be kind of vague about some of the facts because I just don't know them. But I've got the general gist of this thing,

and I saw most of it. Basically what happened was at some point let's get the trial was in like what 92 or 94 somewhere in there or whatever a couple years later a couple years after that uh he does this television interview where he he gives like the hypothetical of if he did it how he would have done it and he refers to this other character called Charlie and he's like yeah, you know and Charlie he sneaks over there and he he starts tussling with Nicole and she falls down and she gets hurt And then then this guy he gets in like a like a karate formation and Charlie's like what you're gonna kick my ass

And you know then the knife comes out and and charlie blacks out and you know and then he starts speaking in the first person and he's like you know and when i come to there's uh there's stuff everywhere and the lady's like she she doesn't even correct the first person thing because she knows she's got gold now she's like what kind of stuff he's like blood blood everywhere and then he like talks about disposing of the evidence and she's like no was your wallet on you or did you like leave that back in the car he's like oh yeah i definitely left that in the car in fact i know for a fact uh that was left in the car and then then he pauses he's like he's like I just want to say, this is all hypothetical.

And it's just, fuck, you're just admitting to murdering Nicole Brown Simpson and that other guy. Kato? Keanu? No, that was his guy living on his property. Ron Goldman was the boyfriend. You're thinking of Kato Kaelin, I think. That is who I'm thinking of. He's like that weird character he was still alive he was like a real life paulie shore or something it was bizarre yeah yeah that whole thing was crazy and uh so he basically goes through it's like a five or six minute interview

or at least the excerpts i saw where stern was being stern was like merciless old school stern today like going at him about this thing like doing his oj simpson impression he's like and then hypothetically i i turned her into a pez dispenser it's it was just so dark and then she's like the reporter she's like do you ever visit nicole's grave he's like oh yeah oh yeah uh i go there and i i pray to her and and sometimes i scream at her and I curse at her and I say, this is your fault. He didn't say that. Yes, he did. He's like, this is your fault.

It's your fault that your daughter doesn't have a mother now and this and that. And then I found out today that apparently there was an incident where OJ was at the gravesite actually screaming and cursing at Nicole's grave. And the funeral people, not the funeral, but the graveyard people or whatever, call the family. And they're like, hey, OJ Simpson is here. And he's screaming at Nicole's grave. And the family's like, call the fucking cops. What are you thinking? Why are you calling us? It's fucking OJ Simpson is here and he's screaming at Nicole's grave and the family's like call the fucking cops what are you thinking why are you calling us it's fucking OJ get run it's so fucking dark I feel like this generation of people like if you're 18 years old or something or you're 20 you're 25 years old you weren't old enough at the time to have watched the trial and to know about

like what went on I watched that trial every day with my grandmother and there was even as like a seven-year-old or whatever i was there was so much goddamn evidence it just just like off the top of my head they found one of oj's gloves at the murder scene with his dna on it and her dna it. They found the other matching glove at his house also with both of their DNA on it. There was her blood on his clothes at his house. It's just so much stuff and it all got boiled

down to the guy collecting the evidence said the N-word a few too many times. It seemed like that was the main defense. They made it a character assassination of the LAPD, which wasn't really much of a very upstanding organization. I mean, let's be real, but OJ killed those motherfuckers.

He did. I mean, it seems like he did. It seems like he's a murderer. Did you see that? Do you know who Danny Vasquez is? Danny Vasquez. Is he a UFC fighter? Sounds like a UFC fighter. Not a bad guess, but this guy is a baseball player. So UFC fighter. Sounds like not a bad guess, but this guy is a baseball player.

He was drafted into some level of the minor leagues. Like, you know, he had a potential to be a major league baseball player from Venezuela. He's an outfielder outfielder. And the video of him beating his girlfriend, it seems like it got public today. Do you guys want to see it?

I, I guess so. so oh the actual beating yes sure i mean compared to what pete just watched this is gonna seem like you know a nice cartoon a sort of spongebob something about the beating kind of looks like he knows what he's doing well yeah but like it more about how good he wasn't manipulating like it here all right so what we do pete is we i say three two one then we all hit play at the same time so we're gonna get the video queued up at zero and what i want you to observe you know he is gonna hit her and then like smooth it over fix her glasses pick up her purse and then beat her again hard hard like you would a man and then like oh baby look like

your glasses came off and he does it repeatedly in this like minute and a half video you guys ready yeah man yeah three two one play so i don't think there's any audio to it at all he's gonna make sure he's gonna make sure the door closes then bam oh semi tosses her down the stairs he's got a brother there now look he's still like oh he's still beating her and then look like he gives her a little love little simony like look your glasses came off you know like let's take care of this let's move past it as if it wasn't him who just did that and also her body language like from what i gather anyway let me fix this a little bit is that uh she's kind of still like prideful she's not as submissive as someone like should be to get the beating to stop i'm not saying it's her fault i'm saying that like, I feel like if she cowered more instead of, like, still being tall and proud.

Ooh. Popped her again. Yeah. Now he picks up her glasses. Damn it. He's still kind of rough. This is bizarre. Look, he puts her glasses back on.

He's going to, like, you know, let's get you tidied up. I'll pick up your purse, pick up your glasses. Let's move past this. What a maniac. Yeah, that's the worst. Send him back to venezuela so so like i want to say there was a football player a few years ago who like uh like knocked out his girlfriend or his wife or something in that elevator and i remember right this is may i don't remember but this is much worse to me because what i saw from that football player was like someone who was just pushed over their edge.

I'm not saying it's appropriate, but like this is a guy who's just like he was at nine and then she pushed him to nine point five and then he hit 10 and he knocked her the fuck out. And she had like an aggressive kind of screaming at his face. She was all over him. Yeah, she was all over. Not to say that it's her fault. Yeah, didn't justify it for sure. But but this this is more sociopathic this is more like i'm gonna fuck you up and then yeah let's take a few more steps ah you know what i feel like fucking you up a little more like he's not

angry he seems very much in control he's just he's just like it wasn't even like a fit of rage it's methodical yeah it would have ended earlier like she's walking onto that second platform and he just from behind which first of all she should probably have not turned her back to this maniac right yeah like he beat you up not seven steps earlier like maybe maybe keep your head on a swivel you know the fact that he went outside for a second and like i want to i want to bolt it down the stairs as fast as I could. I'll say this, though. He can't throw a punch like Ray Rice. Chiz, are you here?

No. Well, he gave, like, a backhand kind of, like, knuckle, not a backhand slap, like, hit. I read in Reddit comments that they're engaged now. Can you look that up, please? She has no choice. Are we watching this Bray Rice video? Oh, I see.

I didn't realize. Yeah, this is... We can rate which one of these beatings is worse. If you go, like, you can probably start at, like, 25 seconds or so. That's probably a good place to start. I don't know. Sure.

All right, I'm at 25. if we're all queued up three two one play yeah so she's oh boom slow motions if i remember right you hit her head on the way down on the on that on that steel rail i think she hit him first. I'm not saying it's justified. But it's different. These are different scenarios. Clearly in this one, the lady is the aggressor and the man has lost his shit and overreacted

and knocked her unconscious. And good Lord. Hunched her flip-flops off. It's almost like ice hockey. like so many times in ice hockey like you know i hit that guy that guy's head hits the ice and now he's really hurt and it's like oh like i get that i caused these dominoes to fall but all i did is tip the first one i had no idea what was coming kind of well he he tipped about eight of her dominoes because she hit her head on the railing on the way down the back of the head there like that'll knock you

out good yeah yeah oh man she's dead in mind when you take on bradley martin she's waking up yeah a little a little she's uh she's rather concussed i don't think they're still engaged i don't know why but after watching that fucking russian video i'm not phased at all right oh by the way that's so messed up oh my god she has confirmed that first couple they're engaged now oh yeah so uh so his whole thing where like i feel like he almost like he beats her and then backs off and smooths it over. Works for him. It shouldn't, though. Maybe he's on to something.

Garage worker crushed by a car. Yeah, I love this video. This one has audio. What? You love this video? Look, let me preface this by saying he's fine. Let me preface this by saying he's fine. But

the noise that he makes, it tickled me a little. I'm sure it will be delicious. Alright, let's go. 3, 2, 1, play. so far so good nobody's been hit yet this guy's backing his car into like a oil change place you know one of those bays and there's a mechanic sort of guiding him in. Oh man, he's about to pick up speed, isn't he? Good idea, mechanic. Stand directly behind it. What are you doing?! I don't want to be racist, but is the driver possibly Asian as well?

Yes. I wanted to touch on that, but I didn't want to. Leave it to us. And then the other guy comes in and just kind of stares at him. What are you thinking, this? You're sleeping on a job again? I want you. I pay you to come here and work.

You're not working. That accent was so good. You get the words that are hidden by a car and you freak out? I'm hoping he's falling in the pit. Is he in the pit? Nah, he's laying on the ground back there. Like, look, I know it's a little fucked up, but something about the look in his face

and the noise he made, the, Ah! Ah! Like, let's see. Ah, my shattered pelvis. Like, not again. Wait, is that him standing up? He'll be fine.

No, he ain't standing. He's the one laying on the ground back there out of sight. Yeah, he's out of sight on my screen. Yeah, Kyle, when you said he's fine, you just meant he's not dead. I just meant don't think too poorly of me while I laugh at this man get crippled. Hey, the likes to dislikes ratio wasn't too bad, you know?

Hey, I'm standing by that. 1,400 up, 300 down. 1,400 people were like, I'd like more of this. Okay. Make this a weekly series. 1,400 up, 300 down. 1,400 people were like, I'd like more of this. Okay. Make this a weekly series. Let me get my recommended videos filled with injured people and car accidents. I'm just like, I got to watch it again.

You know how there's so many Russian videos of dash cams? Yeah. Because people are always trying to just like walk into traffic in russia and like fake getting hit imagine the gold we'd have on youtube if china implemented some kind of dash cam policy yeah like there's a whole country of people who are not good at driving but i don't know if they're straight up this psycho though i like the russians that just fight during road rage and stuff like that all the time you know the deal is in russia you get a discount on your insurance for a dash cam and it's big enough that it pays off in like the first year so people do it people don't they seem angry on the road don't they have that here as well where you get a discount if they can monitor like i don't

know i'm in canada right yeah and like if they put a tracker in your car uh basically like they'll be able to track like your speeds and all this other shit but you actually get like 25 discount off uh your insurance um which is good but if you do something stupid or i don't know i'd be like i'd be paranoid to ever go over the speed limit yeah because i'd be like oh well maybe they have like uh a direct connection to the cops and they're making their 25 off the cops stopping you and giving you tickets and i don't know like i would just always be like somebody's monitoring like knows where i'm going at all times i've been planning a murder for quite some time now like how do i get my drugs right you know without you know anyone exactly what if you just wanted to horse around in like a an empty parking lot late at night you're like Like, how do I get my drugs, right? You know, without anyone. Exactly. You can't do anything like that.

What if you just wanted to horse around in an empty parking lot late at night? You're like, ah, you want to see me do a donut real quick? Like, you know, that's innocent enough. Yeah. But all of a sudden, that guy from Allstate's, hello. I noticed last night at 3 AM you were doing a few donuts. You were having a little too much fun.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't need that. You don't need Big Brother Allstate looking over your shoulder no like i had my insurance company trying to do something like that for me where they're like oh you put this this safe driving tracker in there and it can reduce your premiums by some amount that's not significant and i'm like why so next year you can go hey we are reevaluating your premiums. And you do speed pretty often. So we're going to have to up it to this or that or, oh, you know, there was a crime that happened here, and you happened to be driving by.

And now, you know, the police are subpoenaing our records. I don't want my insurance company tracking me at all, like to save what amounts to, you know, $100 a year. Yeah, totally not on board for that. save what amounts to $100 a year. Revisible amounts. Yeah. Totally not on board for that. Man, the related videos to this Chinese mechanic getting crushed are worker crushed to death by robot in Volkswagen plant, worker killed

when saw kicks back. Let's see, Alabama girl crushed to death by robot. You know what I'm curious about? You don't have angry intercourse? I have angry intercourse. That's one of them. You know what I'm curious about? You don't have angry intercourse? I have angry intercourse. That's one of them. You know what I'm curious about here? You know how there's all this talk,

and it's a reality with YouTube, not being able to control a lot of videos. And well, I don't know. You guys probably talked about it in the past, so I don't want to bore this session. But I wonder if those videos of people getting killed are even age restricted i don't know i'm signed in i check it's a good i'm curious yeah i'm sure those are my like suggestions there's always that like like i get busted for whatever microwaving a bottle of wine and watching it blow up and then it's like but that other guy

over there like he did a thing that's far crazier and yeah i posted a video of drinking steve-o's pee and it got age restricted and there's so many pee videos online and they're not age restricted what's up with that you drank steve-o's pee yeah did you like get hot or i guess he's been sober for a while now yeah i got to imagine that his kidneys or kidney probably isn't like uh working very well these days and he doesn't look like the kind of guy that hydrates like like what what on a scale from lemon lime gatorade to black and full of blood where would you say his scale where his uh his urine was on that scale like i gotta imagine it was dark angry yellow he was very very hydrated so it wasn't too bad he was very nice and i i wonder if he's drunk tonight before i i on the

other hand had like hamster piss and uh you know so because i i didn't hydrate so i was uh we were we were doing a show uh for youtube red uh back in august uh called the ultimate expedition uh i don't you know i i don't need to plug it or anything but it's a fucking cool show um basically they took eight of us and um the whole mission was to try and climb a 20 000 foot mountain so none of us have climbed mountains or anything like that so we had steve-o from jackass we had chuck liddell uh that's how i hooked up with them and uh i'm friends with them now which is pretty damn cool it's probably like best experience from that uh we had a bunch of other people and the whole mission was first we

climb an 18,000 foot mountain we were in a base camp for like uh at 14 and a half thousand feet for two and a half weeks uh then we tried to climb a twenty thousand foot mountain and uh during that time we were filming like little videos for our channels in order to promote the show and one of the videos was supposed to be me drinking me and steve-o drinking uh our piss through a life straw and so that was the plan that was what the producers are gonna do then we suggested it to Steve Oh, and then he's like wait, why are we filtering piss? Why are we trying to filter piss? It's already like what the fuck and so we piss on camera into some like pint glasses and He takes a little swig and gargles my piss

Yeah And he takes a little swig and gargles my piss. Oh, he gargles it? Yeah. You're like, wait a minute, Steve-O, the cameras aren't on. I know. Fuck it. And so I had to one-up him, of course, and I chugged the entire glass of his piss. Oh, dear God. Yeah.

That's pretty awful. Like I said, like I said, I can chug anything. Was that the first time you had drank piss? Yeah, that was the first time, and I'm hoping the last time. I wasn't expecting it. But it was the last time. I mean, if somebody puts a nice paycheck in front of me. Yeah, I've done a bit of research. What's the least amount of money it would take to get you to drink a pint of Steve-O's piss?

Well, I did it for free. Zero dollars. We know that you'll do it for free. Well, you mean me? I mean, YouTube paid me to do this show, so tactically... Yeah, no. Yeah, Kyle and Woody, yeah. Alright, privately or publicly the way he did? What? It has to be, I don't know, publicly. I mean, there's a huge difference.

Okay, privately then. It's just the act of piss drinking I'm talking about. Okay, okay. Because for me, if just me and Steve-O know about this, I figure we'll keep it under wraps, right? But if I have to do it on video, that exists forever, right? That's a whole different story. I guess I would drink. How much of his piss do I have to drink, Taylor? A pint glass, like a beer glass.

I guess I'd do it for 50. I guess I would drink... How much of his piss do I have to drink, Taylor? A pint glass, like a beer glass. I guess I'd do it for $50. I guess I would. Like, that's just such a solid $1,000. That's a solid chunk of money, you know? I'd do it for $50,000. Holy shit, I'd drink a gallon for $50,000. Get yourself like a 2015, you know, Z06 Corvette for that. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't spend it on that but man you're a much if i drink piss for money i'm gonna spend on whatever the fuck i

want that's not going in a roth ira that's not going to the nasdaq no i'm spinning on that what i drink piss you're just gonna find yourself drinking more piss next year if you piss it away hey yeah piss it away if i can now drink a pint of piss anytime i want fifty thousand dollars then sign me up i'd be a millionaire by midnight if i knew for a fact that every day i could make fifty thousand dollars by drinking a pint of piss believe me i would do it i'd be a professional piss drinkdrinker. I would never work again. Every day, three times a day, I'd enjoy my pint of piss. No, just once a day. No, three times. I mean, every single time I'm getting blown by a model or something,

because I make 150 grand a day. It's great. And I'm gonna be one of those smarmy rich people, like Warren Buffett, where I don't get a really nice car and I stay in the same place, so I can like, like a passive little flip. For some reason, that part of being a super wealthy person is interesting to me. It's like being one of the cunty ones who are like, I still drive a Ford Taurus. It hasn't changed me at all. Just knowing how much it upsets the people who see it who are like, oh, I would buy something dope. I would do this. I would do that.

If you drank a pint of piss every single day and got paid 50 grand, that would be 18.2 million dollars a year. That's well worth it. That'd be pretty good. If you were doing it three times a day, that's 55 million. So that's way better.

Make it 10 grand. I would be talking shit to Conor McGregor. Like, you think you make money? I just made 50k. Part of the night. Watch this. Pushing away this phone. Yeah, I would do it lowest.

I mean, I'd do it for 5,000. Would you now? Yeah. You know, at some point... At some point we can make it happen and call you on it. Yeah, see, you got to be careful about saying these kinds of things. I would do it for $500. All right, enough said. See, I got to go a little higher, because otherwise the listeners

will be like, what do you know? What do you now get the fans organized, and next thing you know, you're going to be, oh, I didn't know it would happen. All all of a sudden there's like a jar in your P.O. box like a mess Pete we used to have a guy on the show named Jordy and somehow it came up once about doing a

porno right like we had the same exact conversations like how much would you have to get paid to do a porno and like you know for the same reasons that I mentioned a minute ago like wow you really don't want a video of you existing forever on the internet drinking piss for the same thing woody and i are both like i don't know what money we said but like i don't know no no no how much you said you do it for and i said i do it for and woody's a married man so of course it had to be with his wife and that adds a whole nother layer to this thing yeah you got

kids that can see it and be thinking woody because i'm going to ask you this question in a second how much would it take to make a porno with jackie so you ruminate on that anyway we get to to this jordy guy and he's like 5 000 would probably do it and we're like you sure about that doable and and so the the gears start turning a guy contacts us and he's like hey i work in the porn industry i can make this shit happen right like like like we can we can leverage this guy's popularity we can make things happen like like we're good to go we'll get a hot ass chick she'll fuck this dude on camera we'll make a porno you know we'll leverage his youtube popularity and and you guys would be willing to promote it and we're like fuck yes we would it would be a it would be an event and uh

and then then the geordie guy's like well i didn't mean it you know i i was just talking shit uh i i don't i don't want to i don't want to do a porno and we were all just super let down because we were just so hyped about this because he's a big guy. Like, he's morbidly obese. He's very large. So it would be kind of like a ridiculous video. Like, it wouldn't be like a sexy porno. It'd be like a, you got to see this. We'd all watch it.

See, that's the thing, right? We would all watch it. And tens of thousands of people would pay $1 or $2 or whatever you had to do to buy a membership and watch it. It would have made a ton of money. And it still would today. But he backed out of it. So you've got to beware around here if you start saying, I do this or I do that, and your dollar amount is $5,000. But I was saying in private. Let's just start just start everything at 50k so that we can all share you know the prize pool and everything and i'll be happy at the end of the day if i'm the one drinking piss i'm not giving you three anything listen i came up with the idea i

find it i get five percent all right so i've got are you checking with the missus over there i wrote to her hypothetically how much money would you need to be paid to make a porno with me that would go on the internet? It's marked red, and she started to type back, and now there's nothing. She's ruminating it on her own. Without thinking it through or committing to the number, I think for half a million, we'd put a porno on the internet. That is shockingly low, my friend. Is it? I don't know.

Half a million is a lot of money. It would be nice to just put it with the rest. I know it is. But, you know, you're already quite comfortable. You know, you don't need half a million. I thought you were going to say five million. Oh, really? Yeah, I thought you were going to say like.

I'm getting in shape. What's the purpose if I don't have a porno on the internet? All righty then. Down 22 pounds, added some muscle got a cheers i would rather do like the piss thing i was saying like a private video because you're right like having to be public i would i think i'd rather have a public video of me doing porn than a public video of me drinking piss because at least everybody likes to fuck no right And that's a normal thing to want to do. Yeah, I don't think anyone looks down their nose at Taylor and says look at that sex haver, you know? Like I would never-

There's no way! No, no, I totally disagree with your logic there, man. Matt, okay, what would you rather see? Would you want your parents to ever see you drinking piss or fucking? Fucking. Fucking because they wouldn't watch. Like my parents wouldn't watch. They wouldn't watch and be disappointed if they saw me drinking pee for $5,000. They would be ashamed if someone- Listen! This is my son! I posted on YouTube a week ago me drinking piss.

Now you're making me feel very self-conscious. I only mean for it to go in that direction, but you drank the piss, alright? You drank the piss. I-I-I- direction, but you drank the piss, all right? You drank the piss. To each his own. Okay. I don't think less of you for drinking Steve-O's piss. You're in this situation, right?

You're in the middle of nowhere. You're at base camp. The air is thin. And this idea comes along first. You're dehydrated. I was very dehydrated. You you can tell the video it's pretty pretty damn yellow anyway so the idea okay we're trying to drink piss through a life straw and then steve-o says no i'm just gonna drink it now if you've grown up with jackass and steve-o you know you don't want to look like an idiot in front of him and say no this is gross because then then you look like a real big bitch no instead you man up

i don't want to look foolish bottoms up especially not in front of the same thing as him and take a little swig you want to think of how they'll look down on me if i don't drink look if if johnny knoxville were there and he was like come come on you gotta jump that dirt bike and i i would be like your dick doesn't work correct don't isn't that what happened there don't you have to put a catheter in three or four times a day well yeah i'm hardcore but you're a millionaire because of it right how much am i getting paid to jump this dirt bike? I feel like I have to go through the same rationale. I'm a huge jackass fan.

I was in high school when it was big. I was at the movie premiere. It couldn't be a bigger jackass fan. I don't think Steve-O could get me to drink piss. I do some fucked up shit. I do most of the things I've seen them do on that show, but I wouldn't do things that that show but i i wouldn't do things like that are torturous i wouldn't jump into like cacti i wouldn't do that remember the

paper cuts that they did in the webbing of their fingers and stuff oh yeah right i'll drink bumps right now thinking about that give me a beer stein a fucking piss before you do that i drink horse cum before i would uh do the do the webbing of my fingers with that first of all keep in mind it wasn't a sheet of notebook paper they had a big ass manila envelope like you would like package up like your birth certificate and a bunch of bullshit in like it was that thick you know it's got that bendy piece of metal that you stick through the hole and flare out the thick manila envelope and and they hold it okay can we change the subject here man i want to so i asked my wife there's a little bit of a visual here sure nothing personal

is it hypothetically how much money would you need to make a porno with me that would go on the internet i would never and then she wrote yuck but she uses these like emoji things so then i said come on for a million it'd be pretty nice. And she said, oh, hell no. And then. Right back at saying, I need a co-star. I was really hoping it was going to be you. I said, give me a number. She said, no.

I said, five million, question mark. She said, money isn't everything. No. Well, you should be like, well, I know money isn't everything, Jackie, which is why I wanted to talk to you about some things in our finances. She'd be like, all right, a million sounds fine. I'm still not convinced by anyone. With this made-off character, and I'm going to be honest, things aren't going well.

So, Kyle, you were saying, or no, it was Pete who was saying better to have the piss drinking video in public than the porn video in public. I'm not convinced at all by that. I'd rather have the porn video in public. Okay. Okay. How about this? How about this? How about this?

As, as, as what we do, we create content. How much of a possibility do you think you'll have at working with a lot more brands? Um, you know, if if if brands sell both videos i mean no most brands aren't going to want to be involved with me after either video like only very niche brands i'm going to delete this piss video right now no yours was for a TV show. If anything, because of your situation, it shows a dedication to the final product that you're making. That's right. And you know what's even more fucked up?

YouTube approved this video. So it was YouTube's idea to make this video. YouTube approved it. I uploaded zero ads, age restricted right away. I'm like, what ads, age restrictor right away.

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Remember to use offer code painkiller when you SmartMouth.com for free shipping today. Check them out. Whether you're about to do a porn or drinking pee, you want to have good breath. Yeah. You don't want to smell bad. Or actually, you probably want to do this after you drink the pee because it will knock that pee taste right out. That's right. SmartMouth is part of my pre-sex routine at this point either the mouthwash or in a hurry the uh they come up with mints too sometimes we'll just do that but yeah yeah i'm gonna feel

more confident when you're about to fuck if you know you know your breath is good yeah well jackie's kind of a sure thing at this point it's been like 25 years one way or another she doesn't say no or she gets the ray rice elevator if you know what i mean yeah or the stairwell treatment although that's a bit sociopathic she's still talking about it you guys are sick you guys are going straight to hell we're sick there's another oh and then another're mad. Go to hell is in there. I think you should write, I was really hoping. Well, look, this is happening with or without you. I was really hoping that you were going to be my co-star.

But there are other options. Dot, dot, dot. Yeah, I'm not taking marriage advice from you. This is a terrible idea. And I won't write it. It's just a prank, bro. It's just a prank. This is a social idea and i won't write bro it's just a prank this is a social experiment this would hurt her feelings okay yeah so kyle how much for you to do

a public porn public porn oh man it would have to be a ton i feel like a half million is is probably my number two maybe a million i i don't know. At least a half a million dollars. I wouldn't do it for a quarter million. I know I wouldn't. I just wouldn't. Although, if... Pete's point of limiting future prospects is really making more sense now. You know, one of the things about money is, like,

the number is not that attractive, right? Like, $250,000. Like, you can't picture it but if you saw 250 000 in a medium-sized pile like in like 50s and you like touched it and they were like brand new 50s you know from the mint you could like like flick through them they're in 10 000 stacks you know fucking that thick and you're just like you smell that filthy money and you're just like, ah. It'd be unimpressive, right? And $250,000 in 50s would be pretty nice. What is a bundle of 50s? Is it 150s or 50-50s?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what 50s come in a bundle. But I always get like $10 thousand dollars worth of hundreds i want to say i don't know i tried to look up a picture of what 250 000 looks like in the 50s but it's just a bunch of shutterstock photos of like smiling people with money it's not helpful yeah yeah 250k wouldn't be enough so there are oh it's actually i'm not giving enough credit so one of those stacks is 100 bills so it's five thousand dollars yeah and 250 divided by five is

50 so it'd be 50 of those bundles yeah it'd be pretty legit like it'd be like a big block of fucking money and you know you could stack it up and everything it'd be it would be it would be much more enticing to see a quarter million dollars and 50s laid out on a table in front of you like some kind of some sort of game show malarkey you know like in the poker uh shows when you know they bring the millions and they pile them up on the table to like really put the pressure on up until then they've been playing with fucking plastic or clay chips and now there's eight million dollars on the table like god i can't imagine that kind of pressure but yeah i think if you i think a half million dollars is just a big fucking stack of money and you could probably

parlay that into like some kind of a porn hub sponsorship or something like that you know you know maybe if the thing even does yeah what if it does well and they're like hey we need to stick around and fuck some other people. And you're like, still half a million per. I'm a porn star now, Jerry. Yeah. I'm a porn star now, Jerry. Yeah, but half a million would be almost impossible to turn down.

Yeah, and it depends on. A million, forget it. I'm doing it. And, you know, the type of porno, who your co-star or co-stars are, and who's made- All right, I'd say this. If you were doing one for like, I don't know if anyone knows tushy.com, very high quality, very nice girls. We're all familiar with their work. But you wouldn't want to work with Dog Fart, right? I just don't want to be one of the dog fart porn stars because then people are going to, you know,

then you're just a dog fart porn star. Yeah, I don't want to add that on my LinkedIn page. Yeah, exactly. It's rough enough already. Let's leave that behind. But if it's one of the higher end, and what if it was a porn star that you that was like famous that you knew like what if it was uh i don't know piper perry or if it was um that uh that redheaded chick that

that's super fucking hot like i i think you'd have to you'd have to bite yeah i agree yeah like you just wouldn't mention it to your grandparents or parents or siblings but then it would get out and they would all watch it. But who cares? You get a million dollars. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think so. Definitely for a million. 100% for a million. Like, it's just a no-brainer. It's just a shitload of money, right?

You know, and to get it all in one go. And like I said... How much would it take for us to do a porno and put it out publicly? How much money? A billion dollars. A billion? Come on, be realistic. And I'd have to wear a paper bag on my face. A billion dollars with a paper bag over your face? She thinks pretty highly of herself.

You're not taking this seriously. How dare she treat this like some sort of joke? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, a billion dollars. Could she hear us? I'll do any kind of porn you want me to do. I'll do a porn while drinking pee for a billion.

Yeah, for a billion billion I might kill somebody I mean I mean I'd have to think it through and plan it out right and get away with it I'd hope otherwise it won't have much fun but I mean ideally I'd get to choose but yeah I mean you'd probably be able to get away with it if you

got the billion dollars right I would probably be like hey I need half up front because you don't know what kind of shit's gonna go down it if you got the billion dollars right i would probably be like hey i need half up front because you don't know what kind of shit's gonna go down and you need to make sure that you have like all the tools to get the fuck away right yeah but yeah half up front i'm gonna flee to south america before anything that's true yeah i'm not gonna kill it would become the night hawk the king of venezuela yeah yeah the night hawk the most the most notorious hitman in south america he all they heard was a loud rumbling

plane engine land on the roof of the building which confused everyone and then then marco was gone into the night hammered to death when you hear the fan of death, you go inside. Even I blow my launch twice, can't get away. He soars through the sky very slowly. Very slowly. He lets you know he's coming. Because even if you know, you're not going to stop. Wait, okay, hold on. I got another situation.

What happens if we both had masks on our faces? Yeah, that's even better. Okay, how much would it take if we both had masks on our faces? I'd probably drop it down to like 500 million. WHAT?! No one knows it's me! 500 million?! I'd be like willing to do it no more!

Who the fuck would pay 500 million? No one. So you gotta be reasonable here. Okay, fine. Uh, one dollar, Bob. Sold. I think you're underselling yourself now. Yes. I would do it like if I had a paper bag over my head, like 200 grand is no problem. There's a paper bag.

Who cares? Wait, for sure. We just went from 200,000. I have. Cut your face out. You didn't do it. That's for fun. With the way the internet is, even if we had the masks, Sure. Cut your face out. You just didn't do it. That's for fun. Like, I mean...

With the way the internet is, like, even if we had the masks, people would know. Nah, they won't. I have no distinguishing tattoos anywhere. I do. I do. You made them... I'm just fucked. There's software for that.

I'm out. I'm out. My price tag just went up. Does it say Furious Pete, like, on your back or something? No, I got a Polish eagle, and it's, like, pretty good. The way the internet is, they discover it. price tag just went up i say furious pete like on your back or something no i gotta push ego and it's like the way the internet is they discover it like i the biggest example for me i guess they knew his face but sometimes they're like check this out it's the same room that doorknob matches the doorknob he did in a vlog from 18 months ago and then they would they would just find it so many detectives i don't do it at your house goddamn yeah yeah you'd have to do it a hotel room would be anonymous yeah yeah that's the way to go because

they all look the same i've seen so many hotel pornos they've all got the same lamps same cheap ass bedspread same like hat quarter bathroom counter that you can see what you didn't know is it's actually the same room every time. Same room every time. Filthy. Filthy. Black light turns on and everything just glows. You can't even differentiate.

The lady gets pregnant just from laying in the bed. Ah, God. Have you ever traveled with a black light? No. Why would I do that to myself? I was on Amazon one night. Good idea, monk. Shit.

They're like $15 or something. And I bought a blacklight. I don't know where it is right now, but I used to travel with it and I had fucking oooop. What's the craziest thing that you guys have purchased like randomly online? Oh. Oh. Man this is gonna, I don't know.

Okay, hold on. Let's do this. What's in the last year? Hmm. Oh. I don't think I've bought anything that dumb off Amazon in the last year hmm oh i don't think i've bought anything that dumb off amazon in the last year yeah i don't know um that's the only place i order shit online anymore unless i'm ordering goku games from furiousformulations.com that's right uh i don't know kyle i feel like this is right up your alley because you don't often purchase silly things. Yeah, I do a lot of weird impulse buys late at night,

but it's usually not just insane stuff. I bought a 3D print. I bought a ridiculous shirt the other day. I buy a lot of clothes. I get ugly, stupid clothes on purpose sometimes just because I think they're silly. I got a 3D printed shirt the other day

that looks like you're wearing a tuxedo it's like made of plastic it's a weird feeling it's it's uh i don't know how to describe it it feels like a like a synthetic fabric it's not like plastic or anything though there's no way that can make a shirt as quickly as just a well-trained Cambodian child. Nothing can. That's why they use it. Yeah. They've got dexterous little fingers. Well, they work them to the bone, and then they just sharpen the bones into needles. Any of you get

the flamethrower Elon Musk was selling? That's a lame thrower. That's just an oversized fucking lighter, man. I don't care. I bought one. It's like everything he does, we shit on like I would never drink pee imagine my life would be ruined And that's a throwers. So lame Making tons of money having fun and jacked and eating food that we wanted all the time that wouldn't be our life

You're gonna get as fuck of my little lighter, okay? you're gonna be jealous as fuck of my little lighter okay Kyle knows flamethrowers better than anybody I don't know if you know who you're talking to I got a couple of flamethrowers I've got the XM42 which is there and I've got the X15 which I'll link

the X15 is the big boy or is the XM15 it's basically like a Vietnam flamethrower where you got the pressure tank and the fuel tank on your back and a pressure wand. And it shoots like 50 feet, shoots napalm and stuff. That's just your good ones. You've got a Vietnam flamethrower too.

That's what I'm referring to. Oh, you have two new ones. I live here in Canada. If I had that here in Canada, yeah, I couldn't have that here in Canada. I'll put it that way. I'd be like – I like I get a lot of people would be turning their faces so I can have that Elon Musk you know a flamethrower and I can have a lot of fun with it I can cook steaks with it and so don't ruin my my watt for this thing I want to hear three flamethrowers I have two flamethrowers i've got

the uh i saw the the old one the one from that video right and then you got two new ones recently well that's a vietnam era flamethrower like that that wasn't my personal flamethrower that was that was dangerous bob's flamethrower i could have sworn i saw it in in one of your buildings am i crazy oh i had the prototype for a flamethrower see but here but here's, this is another one of those like things where I missed out. This is what happens when you stroll around Kyle's land, you know? Yeah, yeah. This is one of those like great business ideas I had that we just never came to fruition for one reason or another.

Before the X-15 flamethrower came out on the market and made millions and millions of dollars, I built one exactly like what you see in this picture over in my shop over there. It was in the prototype phase. It never was fired, but it's this. It's this. It was a pressure tank and that same wand, and I had the same cord made. It's the exact same thing. I wasn't using CO2. I was using a secondary pressure tank, but same fucking thing um but it was never operational see we were i was really afraid of the liability of having a flamethrower company because you know you're selling flamethrowers out on the market and so i had this idea of making my friend jeremy president and ceo of georgia thermal solutions and and i i and just you know he'd be the fall man right you have to know jeremy is like functionally retarded you're just the primary investor and majority shareholder like 83 iq

or something great guy though he's got several kids now god rest their souls and and i was like jeremy how would you like to be a ceo oh i'd be real good, man. All right. What's that mean? Well, it means you'll own your own company. Oh, cool, cool. What kind of company? Flamethrowers. Oh, hell yeah! Do I get one? My only concern...

Every year, that's your pay. Not only do you get one, you get to test the first prototype off of the assembly line. And it's top secret. So you can't tell anyone. You know, so we were literally, like,

building this thing, not knowing what the fuck we were doing. And it was like, we'll just strap it to Jeremy. Stand back about 50 feet. Let him see if it'll work. And, you know, either it will or it won't, you know, and go from there. But, you know, again, I was very afraid of the liability of a flamethrower company. But, you know, these guys seem to have made fortunes selling these things.

Because if you look at what's in the picture there of the X-15 flamethrower, the CO2 tank, the coiled remote, the pressure washer wand, the propane igniter, the main fuel tank, the backpack, everything, it's a couple hundred dollars. It's like $300 or something like that. Even if you're buying, you know, when you buy in bulk, obviously you get a better price for things. So if you bought 500 coiled remotes they'd be you know 20 cheaper than

just buying one but even just buying one off it's like 300 and they're selling these things for 16 or 1700 depending on which one you get so they're making a fucking killing um but yeah i i've just got the two i've got the x15 that uh there's backpack one. I've got the XM42, which is the same thing I sent you. Do you want to hear my silly baseball topic? I've been saving it. All right. There's a Twitter link. One moment.

So I think they're trying out a rule change in the minor leagues that looked pretty significant. Minor League Baseball announces new pace of play rules, including extra innings will begin with runners on second base at all levels of the minors beginning this year. So if it goes into the 10th inning, they start with a guy on second? That's super lame. Is it? What is it meant to do? make it make it not go 14 innings if a guy's at second then they'll be able to score right it'll be much easier yeah they can yeah they can hit the other way they can hit a single the other way and they can they can

bat a run in you know it's i i really despise the idea of that. You know, baseball is a slow, slow paced game and it should never try to be a fast paced game. It's all about the the anticipation of the moment, you know, in hockey. It's you know, the announcers are always surprised. Right. When someone scores like, oh, yeah, this is Jimmy Kevill. Chuck, he was traded in last year from the Labatt Blues up in up in Wichita. And then, oh, oh shit he scored holy crap wow never did even see that coming but in baseball it's like up bottom of the ninth we got a left-handed batter gets a right-handed reliever there's two on they're down by one here's the

stretch and the pitch it's this build up and then oh all right strike two and it it builds and and comes down over and over like Like, it's the anticipation. Baseball is a different game, and it should not try to be anything else. And starting with a man on, like, obviously... What if I told you it was dying? It was kind of fading. Like, isn't it?

Is it? I didn't know that. I don't know anything about the numbers, but if it's dying, then let it die. But don't try to... You're not going to... If you do that, you'll lose But don't try to... You're not going to... If you do that, you'll lose those fans who would have... You're not going to gain fans.

You're just going to lose fans. Yeah, I mean, what does changing the overtime really going to do for, you know, changing the level, you know, of people watching or going to these games? I don't think it's good. Like, how often are baseball games tied after nine innings? Not that often, right?

Yeah. If it's not that often, let them battle it out. So hockey had a problem with ties. Hockey used to have ties. And a lot of games, they didn't tie. I don't make up a number. Like 20% of games ended up as a tie. And not only that, but a lot of times teams would play not to lose and just be really defensive.

And the overtime wasn't the like furious, like try to make it happen thing. So they changed the rules. It could go to over. Even if you just enter overtime, you get what would have been an overtime point. And now they start stripping away players. You know,

they make them play with four and it's been great for hockey. And the shootouts are pretty interesting. There's still hockey holdouts who don't like shootouts, but it, it's second only to a fight like no one leaves to go get popcorn during the shootout right everyone's watching they're pinned they're on it and uh it turned out to be a pretty good thing so i hear better oh man uh instead of this a man on second a home run derby at the end what if what if it's

your own pitcher pitches to your guys and whoever gets the most run i like it i like even better than the man on second get rid of the outfield you're really outfield like right like like you know only infield only or like three defensemen total or something like that like i'd be i don't like anything bastardizing the game personally but putting a man on second like obviously you're gonna put your pinch runner on there you know you're gonna put the fastest speed demon you got on the team on there and it's i get what you're going for but it's it's really gonna shit on what the game's meant to be i i don't i don't like there's gonna

be exciting plays at home right someone's to hit some single off towards first, and there's going to be a ball coming in at 100 miles an hour and a player coming in at, I don't know, people run 20, 25 miles an hour, and there's going to be a race to home plate. It'll be interesting. Yeah, I mean, that happens anyway, but they earn it. You know, I don't know. It happens sometimes.

Well, it has to happen eventually, get the game would go on forever you know somebody's gonna hit a home run or somebody there's gonna be a suicide squeeze or someone's gonna try to steal home like something's gonna happen eventually i mean the only reason they would do this in the minors is probably because they would they're like play testing it a bit yeah for the majors right because there's no way they'd have a permanent rule change in the minors they're like all, now you're in the majors and rules are different. Like, you're not trained for this. Don't they do that in hockey too? I want to say they play test in the minors sometimes.

I know in the NFL they do it in the preseason sometimes. I would much prefer they use aluminum bats or something like that. You know, like aluminum bats would make that game out fucking outrageous. That's the easiest way to make baseball a out fucking outrageous. That's the easiest way to make baseball a fucking frightening sport. Then you have to add more gear. Now all the defensemen need fucking headgear.

Do they? Yes. The speed off of an aluminum bat versus wood, especially at that level, I don't even know what it looks like when a major league baseball slugger hits a fucking baseball with an aluminum bat level i don't even know what it looks like when a major league baseball slugger hits a fucking baseball with an aluminum bat i don't know what that looks like but just look at the college kids and like like i mean i can hit a home run with a little baseball bat

like the bat the ball just explodes off of that those bats like baseball ever allow aluminum bats in college it stops in college did they like ever like years ago like 30 40 years ago no no it's you know they yeah why don't they would it just make for so many home runs break the records it all the records would would be evaporate honestly like you see sometimes the ball gets hit right back at the pitcher right and he gets struck with the ball and it's a little scary moment. Sometimes they catch it like a ninja. Yeah. And sometimes they take it in the face.

That pitcher would need a face mask with a, you know, he'd need a helmet with a face guard on it. And like only the most hardcore like intimidator style closers would go out there and be like, nah, nah, baseball hat. emanator style closers would go out there and be like nah nah baseball hats so i'm with you on the picture but you said the defenseman do you think second baseman would need protective gear they have twice as much time and they didn't just what if they're playing in what if they're playing in you know they better be on their toes you know sometimes sometimes you move the infield in because because you know anticipating a bunt or something. They're trying to push a runner over. But I don't know, man. Those guys are fucking – they're not the greatest athletes in the world.

Baseball isn't that demanding. But they are the greatest athletes in the world at hitting a baseball with a stick. So you give them an aluminum bat. I'd love to see it. I'd love to see what it would be. I think it would be very dangerous. I think you'd have some balls coming at hyper speeds i i 20 faster something like that do you think is the

toughest to learn i have to learn yeah so like here let me just lay some thoughts out basketball right if i took an athletic guy from some place on the planet where they never played basketball, right, ever, ever, I think in an hour he'd be dribbling and scoring baskets of some sort, right? You know, it wouldn't be – it wouldn't have a handle on it. It's a very steep learning curve. You learn it quick. Is that what steep means? Yeah, because it goes steep. So, like, after a little bit of time, you really rock it up in your experience.

It's quite basic. All right. So on the other hand, hockey, right? If I just took some athletic villager from Africa and put him on skates and gave him a stick, an hour later, he might not even skate. He would look awful on it. He would not look like a hockey player in the slightest. I do not understand you have all this water to drink and you freeze it and skate instead i have so many children diarrheaing themselves to death because they do not have clean water and yet the white man keep all of it freeze to himself canadians the worst

the worst in baseball mcgumby wouldn't care for that like i i suck at baseball baseball is a very tricky one you know like like but you can get the basics you can swing a bat your first try but you won't look like a batter yeah so yeah i don't know i mean hockey probably makes the most sense because at least all the other sports, you're on your shoes, right? Everybody knows how to run in shoes in hockey. Like, you'd spend the whole first few days teaching them how to maneuver out there. I still don't know how to play cricket, and I've been watching a couple games lately. That's a ridiculous fucking school.

I don't know what the fuck's going on there. I don't know what they're doing out there. How do anyone get 1,500 points? Do they? Yeah. Some of them last for days, don't they? Like, two or three days? It's absurd.

I lived in Texas. I'd also want a distraction for days on end. That makes sense. Longest cricket game world record. I'm going to check. Longest one. You're Canadian. Do you follow hockey at all?

Not really. I mean, truthfully, not that much. Holy fuck. 150 hours. That's a long game. Who could possibly care for 150 hours? I can't care enough to learn the rules. It's so hard. I watched Sailing with Agabon.

I still watch those guys. And this was an episode from like a year ago. Riley tried to lay out the basics of cricket and like it's happened to me before 12 seconds in i'm like never mind never mind like i just can't be bothered to care and half of these words i don't know and yeah something about cricket i just i can't learn the rules at all yeah i, I think the sports that add like a weird sort of, like anything with ice skating, anything where you're on a horse, you know,

when you add something like that, right? You know, like, oh shit, I got to learn to ride a horse first? This is going to be rough. You know, like polo, obviously. Or that game with the dead animals. Or that game with the dead goats. Dead goat polo. Yeah, man.

Yeah, so like everybody's on a horse, you're it's basically it's like rugby but you're on a horse and instead of a ball you got a dead goat and the winner gets to eat the goat is that part true did you make that up what do you think they're gonna do well well they either eat it or they fuck it i mean yeah and this depends how tender there's a couple of things you could do. Usually both. Buzkashi. Buzkashi. God.

How lazy do you have to be to not realize, like, two seconds into that game, like, hey, let's kill the goat, eat it as a little bit of pre-game energy, and then we can, like, blow up its bladder or something and have a ball. Yeah, they didn't get that. I want to say that there was like, I don't know if it was the Mayans or the Aztecs, because I get those two fucking mixed up. I know they were like thousands of years apart, but they're on the same continent, so whatever.

They had some kind of game that was like soccer. You used your feet, and on either side, instead of a goal, there was like a wall and the wall had like a hole in it not very much bigger than the ball incredibly difficult to score you had it was it's like playing basketball but with soccer everything else right instead of a hoop it's just a hole in the wall so it's got to go in you know at a at-on angle. The team that won gets sacrificed. So these games would go on. Oh, did you find it?

Did you actually find this? You've got it, Pablo. Wide open net. Oh, I missed the game. This is not a good day for Pablo. Are you sure you don't want to score? Jesus Christ. what is this mayan mayan ball game a deadly sport yeah yeah oh yeah yeah i remember learning about that during uh like history class and all that stuff yeah same i had a really cool history teacher who like like that's

the sort of stuff that he would use to like teach us history like so like when it came to the i remember that story really well because he he would get really passionate when he would tell us the stories and the spartans like the most fascinating thing ever from history to me is the spartans because he would just go in long in depth about the training of a spartan boy and you know when he was seven he was taken from his family and put in the barracks and he was talking about the training day in and day out and how they they were they were starved and not given enough food so they had to steal to like you know have enough food but if you got caught stealing you were beaten mercilessly yeah all that all that crazy shit you know man this spartans were some terrifying motherfuckers

they were i re-watched 300 recently that's what what I was thinking. I'm like, I gotta watch that movie again. It's on Netflix. Yeah, it's on Netflix. Yeah. Very motivating. Yeah, whenever I saw that movie was coming out, I immediately thought back to Mr. White's class back in 10th grade. Like, oh, shit.

This is what I've always wanted to see was those badass motherfuckers that Mr. White used to talk about. And the movie kind of lived up to it. I know it's really stylized and everything, but shit, that was so ahead of its time with all the cgi and stuff like i love 300 the sequel wasn't that good so i was about to say the sequel was real dog shit with eva green uh you got the eva green sex scene which almost redeemed it but but still no i didn't that guy's riding the horse

across the boats like what the fuck is this yeah that was the shit i've ever seen yeah i mean like and we there was a high bar for unrealistic from the first one yeah because like there one time they're like uh and xerxes was angry with his generals and he disciplined them and there's that like crab man with like his arms removed and he's morbidly obese and he's got nose rings and he's got just a big you know like, like Scyther, the Pokemon, you know, thing on his hand. He just chops the guy's head off. And so I'm like, all right, I'm willing to take this. I doubt the Persians had morbidly obese crab men.

Oh, look, it's Mobius, the unwashed. The unwashed. Mobius, the stinky. That guy has not wiped his ass in a coon's age right I still remember a part of that movie that's

imprinted on my memory is when that big fat guy goes lifts his fucking arm up to do the chop like you see his armpit and it's like no hair like the way a really fat old woman's armpit would look. The friction. And I always think like you could have just smothered the general in that and he would have never made a mistake.

You didn't have to kill him. You only got to kill one. The others are so horrifying. I will go into battle myself my lord please put me on the front lines don't give me the armpit squisher yeah that's a great fucking movie the cgi is good i like uh i can't think of his name f-e-l-t's or whatever the the hunchback that like fuckings him. I got to say, I felt like Leonidas was a little shitty for not letting that guy join the unit.

Because he's like, we fought with a Scottish fucking accent. We fought as a unit. One continuous unit. One continuous unit. And then you see them fight, and they're all spiraling and doing barrel rolls and jumping out of formation and going ham, just running through the... It's like, wait a minute. That hunchback could have been the tip of the spear out there.

Who cares if he goes down? He's been like, all right, F.A.L.T. out there. Do your fighting out there with us, the Spartans. He's doing that accent. Yeah, pump him up. That's what he's saying, where he's like, you're right about that. I never noticed the Scottish, you know, Sean Connery accent. He's like, unless

you feel like running out there and getting your spear wet with some Persian blood or hitting a woman you see who eyes you. Yeah, like, oh man, that's such a good movie. Yeah. I can love that shit and i'm watching that on sunday when i'm hung over after st patty's the uh i remember i got the dvd right when it came out and in the special features it shows them doing like their workout to like get in shape

and they're doing a lot of crossfit stuff or like ask stuff like you know they're doing a lot of flipping of the big heavy tires a lot of rope pulling and a lot of band resistance band uh sprints and um parachute sprints and stuff like that and uh really high tempo stuff where they've got like they're they're working out as a group like maybe eight or ten of them at a time and they got a guy just fucking drilling them just go go go go go and then of course they airbrush their abs on those there's no way gerard butler was not on some sort of performance enhancing drugs to get in shape for that movie right like like him like when i see um fucking what's his name that plays wolverine like those are not guys that traditionally had that much mass on them yeah hugh jackman hugh jacked man like that he's

definitely on something i mean if you have to get that ripped for a role yeah you only have i don't know i don't know how long to prepare for that stuff but like it seems like you kind of need a little bit of assistance right you know the originals at that were that that almost certainly did it clean fucking kurt russell and soldier i don't know if you've ever seen that. He worked out for like 14 months leading up to that. They were like, we want you to play an action star. And he'd never really done that before. And he's like,

well, I need a year. I need at least a year to get in shape. And he's in excellent fucking shape in that movie. He looks great. And then Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2. she did the same fucking thing and she's scary ripped uh especially for like that time period and a female actress i mean all all actresses are female well most actresses are female but she's in very good shape in this i'm

just looking at pictures and kurt russell in that j, his arms are like bodybuilder size big. Yeah. That shirt doesn't stand a chance. Yeah, yeah, they got him in a super... Doesn't the army not have any larges, Kurt? Like, what's going on over there? Only mediums for your group. Private Kurt, do you want small or extra small?

Extra small and wash it twice, sir! Holy shit this is picture that chis just linked of hugh jackman in 2000 verse 2013 it looks like like the 2000 version is a shitty clone of the 2013 right god he's got those like i don't even know what that muscle's called Like those striations you get on the side of your stomach near your- Oblique. His obliques are out of control. I mean, Taylor, I think you're in better shape than original than 2000 Hugh Jackman. I'm in better shape than 2000 Hugh Jackman right there. I think. It's a little- He's literally sucking in right there.

Yeah, see, got to keep in mind that's what fox released right like this is this is like him on camera on his best day like like like leaning out you know yeah leaning out probably even getting a pump right before he goes on camera which is what they usually do and and this is this is like this is tippy top him at that day i i mean it's not even close times have changed man you know times have changed the drugs have gotten better photoshop is better you know it looks like he actually became a mutant in those 13 years yeah i know it's crazy have a p because i know you're so much into fitness and lifting and everything have you ever been tempted to try performance enhancing stuff like steroids i've never said no to it uh to do it i

think i'm gonna do maybe when i'm 40 if i need it 35 uh i have you know i had uh testicular cancer so i only have one ball so uh but i don't need it like you know everyone always thinks that because i only have a single nut uh that i i need to have like a testosterone replacement you know a trt i don't i don't need it my testosterone levels aren't you know super high or anything they're just a little bit above like in the normal range just like on the low end but i'm still able to like you know i bench press over 400 i can uh deadlift close to 700 so like i can still like i still have the strength but it takes me a lot longer time to like i've noticed that there is a big bigger difference in like recovery

and like just based on the past like it was just easier for me to uh get bigger or stronger and all this other stuff but nevertheless like i don't need it and the way i always looked at it is like you know testosterone out there exists for a reason it's when you really need it like you know there's a lot of people that need it obviously if if i was maybe stepping on stage and being a professional bodybuilder was my like full-time job then maybe um but like when i hit like 35 40 and my testosterone testosterone levels really dropped because i feel like they probably will based on my me having one night like i won't be able to they will drop naturally so i might just not feel well so i'd probably take it just to kind of feel well not just for the fact that oh get me stronger and bigger but i would take like the

amount just to feel more adequate you know do you know do you have a decorative mental health did they give you a ping pong ball for the other side no one nut that was never offered you were never offered i feel like if i lost a testicle i'd want to get a fake one in there to keep the balance because is it like just it has the balance of the scrotum shifted where now it's just a pendulous yeah it's pretty much almost centered it's a little bit like still a little bit like off but at the beginning it was weird so had surgery uh had my left testicle removed and so there was a lot more i added a see i went to nudicles.com got a third just in case yeah sorry go ahead yeah uh so i had like uh you know a bunch of loose skin down there so at the start it was a little bit uh uncomfortable so for like two three weeks

it was uncomfortable but eventually it kind of like leveled out and things move around and I don't know it is obviously now because that was in 2014 so it's post-surgery were you like hooray this cancer is gone my my problems are being solved or was it sort of a why me I really like to nuts i mean uh i've done since that i've done radiation i did chemotherapy last year oh so you still battle it now and then yeah i mean i'm hoping that was the end of it uh with testicular cancer like i mean i'm a very big uh i try and create as much awareness as i can online for it uh you know i do campaigns i sell like these necklaces where we give proceeds to testicular

cancer research and awareness. And basically, yeah, you know, I've I thought obviously the surgery in short, if you're a male and you catch this early surgery, maybe enough. I didn't know about this stuff enough. You know, I didn't check myself enough. Males generally don't if they don't know about this, which is why I'm very loud about it online. I try and create as much awareness about it as I can. So if you catch it early and you do have surgery, the cancer can just be contained in your nut. And once you get it out, you're good. I missed the beginning. Did you tell people how you knew?

Oh, sorry. No, I didn't um so i uh i found out basically i was in short my nut was about three times bigger than the other my left one was about three times bigger than my right one and that's the bad one the big one yeah the left one was cut out okay so my bigger one was cut out um and that was where the mass was growing so i i remember one day i have like i had my own gym and i was like climbing a rope and i got to the top and i was like oh that really hurt like like there was big throbbing pain and you know obviously it was probably growing for months and months before this but i just never really thought of it or anything and eventually i started look

you know researching doing dr google um you know read a couple things and then started talking to some friends and they're just like go see a doctor and saw a doctor he said he wasn't sure we had an ultrasound i had an ultrasound doctor called me literally 15 minutes after the ultrasound he's like you got to come in and found out and then i had surgery about like five days later um and then I was hoping, obviously, that was the end of it. But then about a year and a half after that, I was told that, you know, there was some growth and they told me to do radiation or chemotherapy. At that time, I decided to do radiation because I just found it faster and easier and all that. So I was like, OK, if you're giving me options, I'm definitely going to do the radiation and just forget about it i'll be it and then thought it was the end about

year and a half after that did you have radioactive cum for some period of time did you have to like i'm not sure i might have been a very specialized spider-man yeah maybe maybe what was crazy is that uh they give you like this really crazy like lead cup that they gave you this really crazy lead cup that you put over your one nut every time you're doing radiation. It was weird. You had a ping pong ball

cut in half as a cover. Like someone might have as they go to a tanning bed for their eyes. Alright. The only good part is there would always be two nurses that would help me out and put it on there. go to a tanning bed for their eyes. Yeah. All right. And I would have, the only good part is there would always be like two nurses that would help me out and put it on there. But about a year and a half after that.

It took two nurses to mount your protective cuff? Yeah. I don't know. It's very thorough. Was it? Were you ever nervous? I didn't question it. Yeah, right?

Like they gather from around the house. Check this dude out. He's been lifting. When it's a big fat guy in there, it's just one surly nurse. When it's a jacked guy, they're like, I'm going to need some help in here, Samantha and Tricia.

All four. Yeah, so unfortunately, like I said, a year and a half after that, this was in early 2017. So a year ago. I went to the doctors doctors bad blood work did some tests there was a lot more spread basically when you're there was probably microscopic cells like a year and a half before that that kind of spread that they couldn't detect they grew so did chemo right now everything seems good everything died with testicular cancer. A chemotherapy is actually very very effective Most people like for the most part 95% of the people that do it

Nothing happens for the rest of their lives. So there's a very good chance compared with all these other cancers But it was it was a process afterwards like I'm still not 100% probably 80 out of 100 from the way I feel but it's a general energy and health or like not health what's that say that again you said you're about 80 are you talking about your general like energy levels or like just like sex i would say energy levels energy levels and just like um and like i still can't get like veins in my arms. So my all my I still just obviously working out whenever you have beets, you're like you got a pump and everything. Right. So all my veins collapsed during chemo. So they still haven't like fully come back here and there.

Like one will pop out and then they disappear. And then I still can't feel my fingertips, which is like that's a thing. Yeah, it's a chemo thing um and then just in general like uh that's just energy levels just aren't 100 there yeah and testosterone levels are still kind of just jumping up a little bit but it's normal part of you want to get a fake ball in there just to even it back out no i feel like you know what to be honest it's a little bit more convenient with one yeah i have what are the benefits you know let if somebody kicks tries to kick you in the balls there's a 50 chance he won't hit you in the ball science yeah right

i have this idea a hypothetical single pete is at a bar and a chick might be like, you know what? It's worth it just to see it. This could be my one opportunity to fuck a uniball. I mean, when you're with your gal, like being jokey or she's going down on you or whatever, do you ever say like, oh, suck my ball? Like singular? Never said that. Never said that ever said that never came across well i hope it does soon if there's one lasting impact of the show i might do that tonight it'll be in my head so i'll probably say it i had a similar experience i've told the story before but it's been like 300 episodes so i'll tell it again i uh i had a testicular torsion and it started out like this so I was in 10th grade

sitting in biology class and the teacher was like she was a real ball buster that just term came to my head and uh um she wasn't the sort to like let you go to the bathroom during class or whatever and I think in that same class someone asked if they could go to the nurse and they got rejected she just eyeballed him determined that he wasn't sick enough and that, you know, go back, take your seat. What a bitch. That's just how she was. Like, she didn't take any shit. She was kind of strict that way.

And the students didn't like her. Someone actually put super glue in her contact lens once. But that's a whole other story. With me. Whoa. That would suck. You'd fucking blind someone. Anyway, go ahead. Yeah uh she was fucking their teacher

as well anyway she uh uh i was sitting in class and i had pain in my one testicle and i thought my jeans were too tight which would happen as you're growing and stuff like clothes don't fit well and i'm just like adjusting and trying to fix it and it's just getting worse and i'm getting hot and i'm sweating and i'm just like it doesn't i'm getting hot. And I'm sweating. And I'm just like, I'm in pain. I've got one testicle in particular. And it's in pain. And I don't like it. So I eventually go to the teacher.

And I ask if I can go to the nurse. And I'm like standing mostly upright, you know, but like a little posture incorrect. And I'm pale white. And I'm sweating. Just beads of sweat coming off of my face and she presents me as like an example to the classroom now woody he can go to the nurse because look at him and uh i don't know if i'm happy about this or whatever but i go to the nurse um nurse is a woman and i tell her like like my balls hurt like i, I'm in a lot of pain. I've never had this before.

Like, this is bad. And she doesn't want to inspect me because I'm, like, a 15-year-old boy. And she's a female nurse. Like, whatever. So she calls a gym teacher over and says, check this guy out. You know, just, like, whatever, do the first inspection. And he kind of cradles me. And he's like, I don't know what's going on but that's not right

yeah from a kickball game i don't know what's going on but that's not right because one of my testicles was hard i was gonna say like a rock that's a bit of an exaggeration but way harder than a testicle should be so um they uh they were actually kind of sensitive they called an ambulance and they had the ambulance like almost stashed a block or two away from the school so as not to draw attention after all the periods changed they snuck the ambulance in and they snuck me out so that it wasn't like a big story across school like no one knew like what the scoop was and uh you know i was grateful for that of the rest of my high school years like no one was like what the scoop was and uh you know i was grateful for that of the rest of my high school years like no one was like woody why did you go to the hospital and i have to

like make up some broken arm that cured in a day or i don't know so uh they raced me to the hospital and i was in a lot of pain and at this point i started like you know like groaning and stuff like someone in pain might and i remember the guy in the back was like dude like this guy's not okay you know can you hit it and he's like we're already going like 80 in a 45 like I'm hitting it now I just remember that part of the conversation as we raced across the bridge to the hospital I get in there and um my parents like instantly like zipped from wherever they were and met me in the hospital. And again, I'm in there and I'm just like, I'm in pain. So I'm groaning and I'm moaning.

And since I was a kid, I was like, am I exaggerating this? Should I be silently suffering? And at one point, my father was like, keep up the groaning. This whole place is treating you like customer number one here. And they were. Any doctor, any nurse, anything. I was just priority number one patient as they're dealing with this. And they wheeled me into, I think it was called nuclear medicine.

I don't have to change it at this point. But they put some sort of dye in me and checked out my blood flow. And sure enough, it was testicular torsion which means that normally your ball hangs in your scrotum and there's like a vas deferens that sort of feeds it whatever blood supply it needs and my vas deferens uh is it just semen not my bio anyway it was kind of choked off so So one of them had spun way too much. And that was why it was in so much trouble. It's like the vein or artery or whatever wasn't supplying it anymore.

And the other one was at risk of it. Like it had spun to some extent, but it was still working. So he unspun it in surgery. And he said they pinkened right up. And then he put a stitch in them so they can't spin anymore. And that was the solution. And I only mentioned it because, well, maybe I'm not as out there as you, but I feel like it's a thing people should know about. Like, hey, you know, if your testicle hurts, like this could be happening to you. If your testicle hurts, this could be happening to you.

And by the way, I've gotten more than one letter from fans who were like, Woody, you saved my potential children. Now I'm fertile because I was aware of this and I got it treated quickly. So it made a difference. Awareness is huge. You talk about it. A lot of people are obviously embarrassed about it. They think something's weird down there. I mean, 50% of us are dudes. If there's something wrong down there, go get help i mean we're all like 50 of us are dudes like we should if there's something wrong down there go get on the show 99 of us

are dudes i mean in the world whatever yeah for sure oh yeah yeah so if you're watching this right now go feel your nuts and see if there's an issue if there's an issue go go seek some help could be nothing out right after this because as gi joe have a feel. Have a little feel and enjoy it. Knowing is half the battle. Hey, you know what? This nudicle site, that's for pets, dude. When it's in your nutsack, no girl's going to have your balls

in her mouth and go, hey, this is a dog testicle. I know. How much bigger are dog testicles than human testicles? See, that's the thing. They come in all different sizes. You just get the one for the 149-pound dog. Oh, the Ultra Plus?

Yes. That's 2.75 inches, I believe. It might be too big. Because as a great Dane owner, I'm familiar with giant dog balls. And I think they're bigger than human balls. Well, see, I was adding a third. So I wanted the third one to be larger than the first two. 2.75.

That's huge, dude. Yeah, yeah. I mean, when my dog hit puberty. It's going to be a bit small. When my dog hit puberty, I felt inferior. I feel like you're going to have to get a second one for just to accompany your... I'd have to get a second one to accompany

the one I already have. Ah, just get three or four, whatever. It or four whatever better price if you get the pair look one is 349 dollars and if you get a pair it's only 469 so you get a second one for 100 bucks i guess most of the time they're selling them two at a time yeah the question is can you get three like is the third one 20 bucks no no they're not bundling them in threes. I mean, maybe you can negotiate with them to be like, hey, can you throw in one more? Yeah. You should ask whoever your doctor is.

Be like, hey, I've been thinking about getting a nudicle. What size do you think I should get? And are you willing to place it? Because who knows how they get those things to stick? Like put a little glue dot on it and then stick it to the inside of your scrote. That's probably not the way they do it, actually. No, it's definitely not. Definitely not

glue involved. Medical glue, Kyle, of course. Yes, medical ball glue. That's one of our sponsors for next week. I feel like that'd be a great YouTube video. I got another ball. I got a third ball.

I mean, I don't see any reason not to pull the trigger on that. Yeah. I mean, the video will pay for itself in like two seconds. Let me tell everyone about Squarespace, because this episode of PK is sponsored by our friends over at Squarespace. Whether you need a domain, website, or online store, make your next move with Squarespace. With easy-to-use tools, you can create a beautiful website

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off your first purchase. That's squarespace.com slash pka. Begin the next move in your career today with Squarespace. Check that out. You need a website, that's squarespace.com slash pka begin the next move in your career today with squarespace check that out you need a website that's how you get one hey look at this uh it's the nudical website is made on squarespace oh no i'm just joking oh well it should be the nudical website it doesn't it's not user friendly. I know it would be if it was on Sparespace. All right.

I got to run, unfortunately. OK. I got a call at 9 o'clock. I'm already five minutes late for it, but that's OK. This was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed it. Yeah, we enjoyed having you. Thanks for coming on, man.

Do you want to plug any of your stuff? Tell the people where to find all your doings. Social medias, Furious Pete. YouTube, Furious Pete. Furiousapp furious pete uh furious apparel.com furiousformulations.com to get the best damn pre-workout in the world go uh that's pretty much it i don't really want to plug too much if you wanted to find anything just search furious pete dude do you have five minutes more to stay huh do you have five minutes i can i can stay five more minutes how do you get into the pre-workout type business?

There are a couple different YouTubers who compete in that space. And I'm like, have you won a chemist but me? How do you make that happen? Most people that have a following can very easily work with a company to do stuff, can white label stuff. I did it way different. But I've been in the supplement industry for a very long time i've worked with companies i was sponsored by bybell.com for like seven years and i did like unbiased supplement reviews for a very long time and everyone's

always like oh you should make your own supplements and everything because you're you're you know you know what you like and you like the good stuff and you're very truthful and and all that stuff right so obviously pulling the trigger on creating your own supplement line is is quite expensive if you're not white labeling if you're not just saying hey okay here's a label put it on a product that you already have made uh i went like you know i had some i have some partners in the company i have people that have been in this industry for like 20 30 years and it gets it's crazy like for example for this pre-workout we had like 100 different samples that we tried before we actually pulled the trigger and that gets that gets intense especially creating the flavors for these pre-workouts so i was in the lab in texas and i literally tried 150 different types of flavors uh in one day and yes it's just a little

a little amount but that much stimulation in your body is insane like are you just like stressed all day like bring the next one bring the next one yeah no it's beta alanine my body's tingling crashed so hard so much stimuli so much caffeine and everything you you crash very very hard i was pissing literally every five minutes though what what makes this pre-workout do its job is it caffeine is there creatine in there like what do you i mean so i have for example like my product has no creatine because i feel like you get enough creatine from food or if you really want creatine you can supplement with it but a lot of people don't need it in a pre-workout, especially like some people will just add it because it's cheap. It's a cheap ingredient.

There's a lot of interesting ingredients. I really like the no tropic element in pre-workouts. So that's brain stimulation so that you can focus and really just be excited about working out. That's that's my biggest thing that I want. I don't care about a pump necessarily. You know, I work. I work a lot. lot you know i work late nights and get up early and i need that energy and focus when i go to the gym enthusiasm in a powder yeah totally that's that was that was the whole goal where it's like you want some people want the pump and everything but i just

want that stimulation of thinking you know i can i want to work out and i can work out you know for an hour straight and be super focused and ready to go um i think that's i don't that's what i like but everyone likes different things uh you know when they go to the gym everyone has some people are much younger and they already have a shitload of energy so they just want like a pump um you know i'm getting older so i want you so I want to focus on the energy factor and the focus factor where I'm stimulated throughout the entire day, working, working, working. Then I need a little boost at the end of the day when I go to the gym, for example. So I really like the whole energy and focus, but different ingredients will do different things for sure. But it's a really complicated, crazy process.'s it's difficult it's really difficult it's much more difficult than than

it looks or people may think um but it's i like it i'm happy about it um and we got a lot of cool things coming up and it's it's fun being uh the boss of uh supplement company you know after being like the bitch growing up kind of thing. When I run out of my current one, I'm going to go to I'll send you some, man. The company's called Furious Formulations and our pre-workout is called Goku Gains. Goku Gains. Just for adults, I assume?

What's that? Just for adults, I would assume. I mean, I would never recommend a pre-workout for somebody 18 or younger because legally, I can't. Yeah, you don't want to give a kid a pre-workout. somebody 18 or younger because legally i can't yeah you don't want to give it a kid's pre-work i work like my son has to ask him he's 14 almost the way i oh no i use it 100 is like like if i'm feeling like oh i don't want to work out i just want to be lazy tonight like i'll force myself real quick to like guzzle down my pre-workout and then it's like i'm

committed i can't sit down and blow this workout off or i won't be able i'll be sitting there jittering like just just shaking because i have so much energy like it's like well i guess even if i don't want to do it i have to do it now because i have to get this energy out of me or i'm going to be i'm not going to go to bed till 3 a.m yeah no totally for sure what uh what else do, I guess, what's your supplement regimen? Like, what else do you do other than the pre-workout? Protein powder, I assume. I mean, yeah, I take some proteins here and there. Not too much.

I try to focus on whole foods. I have an amino. We do, obviously, a good multivitamin. I definitely recommend that with everyone because, you know, regardless of the multivitamin you buy that's definitely numero uno for a supplement that's what i would always say all this other stuff yeah protein powders are great but you know you don't necessarily you can use them after workout whatever try and use them sparingly a pre-workout obviously i like it because i i feel like i need it nowadays you know uh just just just need to hit up the gym but uh uh that's i think that's like a discussion

for a very long like there's a lot to it i would say yeah the more i look into it the more i feel like i don't know what the fuck i i'm talking about or looking into because you're always like get up like a little hill of like i'm starting to understand this then you're like oh no this guy is jacked out of his mind and he says everything that other guy said is retarded yeah i don't know i wouldn't even listen i mean i mean i'm not bullshitting or anything but you know there's a lot of people out there that are super jacked and shaven they don't know shit yes but their body is their resume so it's easy to be confused yeah if you're me and you're you're getting back into it like i felt like i knew what i was doing in the 90s and right that means i

don't know what i'm doing anymore right you know so uh yeah and you just go through and like here's a guy he's ripped he's what he's doing is clearly working but like i i struggle to determine who knows what they're doing and who doesn't yeah for sure for sure all right sorry guys i gotta run but it was awesome to be on the podcast. And yeah. Yeah, for sure, man. That was a lot of fun. Love to have you back.

Yeah, awesome. Thank you so much. See you guys. Later, buddy. I'm glad you stayed for five more minutes. I like that part a lot. Let me tell everyone about Stitch Fix, because you can tell a guy who's got style, he always looks great and seems confident confident like he's ready for anything.

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starts with stitch fix uh you can try them out today you've got nothing to lose get started now at stitchfix.com slash pka you you'll also get 25 off when you keep all five items in your box that's stitchfix.com slash pka to get started today stitchfix.com slash pka to get started today. stitchfix.com slash pka. Check them out. Get your act together. When you have great breath and you're in great shape because you've been watching Furious Pete videos, you're going to want to look good too.

Yeah. All women notice how you're dressed. And they also notice things like shoes, which are important to wear nice ones. You don't want to wear a ratty old mow your lawn shoes or loose baggy ill-fitting jeans you know you need some nice stitch fix jeans i'm making a lot of mistakes here you are but you're married and so you you pass it's okay yeah she's got no choice she has to put there is one item on the menu you don't like it you're fucked it's all george

man furious he was awesome i like him a lot i like you definitely get him back chis yeah i i think he'd come back i thought it went really well oh yeah he was totally open about his nutsack and his balls. I was really hoping we'd get the opportunity to circle back around to talking about his poops. Because I think the 15 minutes we took that off the start was criminally low. We need a little more attention paid to that. Yeah. He's a cool guy.

You want to talk about these bombings in Texas or the dog that the United Airlines killed? Let's do the bombs first because I only know that people are getting shipped bombs.

That's all that I know. Somebody in Austin is putting packages... I don't think they're being shipped. They're putting packages... Yeah, they're delivering. ...on doorsteps and blowing people up. And I believe they've all been black people so far. Have they all been in Austin?

Like, it's all Austin? I think so. It might have a racist intent. Yeah, Chiz says correct. Yeah. So it's a racist in Austin, most likely. Yeah. Well, I can't endorse that.

I'm against that. I give this whole story two thumbs down. I think PKA is proud to say we're anti this. We're anti-bombing. Yes. In all situations. We're anti-bombing. Yes. In all situations. We're a podcast of peace. Let's see, the bombs killed a 39

year old man on March 2nd. They killed a 17 year old man early Monday morning and they severely injured a 75 year old Hispanic woman. Maybe you're warming up to this guy now, Taylor. I know you dislike the Browns. Don't.

She's just listening. She's just in the chat. I can't let him know about our whites-only chat that we have. The white writers. Yes, yes. Don't worry about that one. So a 17-year-old, that's really sad oh yeah like i misheard it i thought he was 70 something uh 17 year old died 75 year old injured correct yeah like blew her hands all up and and then you know shrapnel and shit how many total bombs have there been like three bombs

what was the age of the other one? Do we know? Like the last week, week and a half, two weeks? Like ever since the second? Yeah. Yeah, that's what it looks like here. Yeah. There hasn't been one recently, though.

So, you know, that's good, I guess. Bombs have got to be like the scariest thing in that way, you know? Like any maniac can learn to make it, you know, and then what's to stop someone like a crazy person from just putting it on your doorstep? Like this guy's doing. I don't know how to make a bomb, actually. I have. So, I mean, I don't either. But like the Boston bombing kids figured it out.

Google exists here. I have a story. So way back in my first job at QAD or one of my first jobs, someone made a bomb and it turned out they learned how to make the bomb on the Internet. Now, this is like the mid 90s when the Internet was new. So people don't know like what the scoop is with it. They're still developing their opinion. And I guess there's like an anarchist handbook or something like that and uh that was on the internet so someone googled how to make a bomb and then hurt somebody with that bomb well everyone's like wait what like that's on the internet that was before everything was on the internet and and they're thinking maybe this internet thing isn't a good idea maybe we should shut

down the internet maybe the internet shouldn't happen these are the weird things that are happening when like AOL is new and one of my co-workers was like you know you can do that so just to kind of you know like see what's up he went to the search engine of the day like alta vista or something you googled how to make a bomb printed it out and left it at the company printer like without really thinking about it like you know you know you print something out and it's still there six hours later and you're like right yeah that thing that was barely important to me not a bomb instructional well yeah like maybe an excel sheet yeah you forget about it like became this

thing and they like tracked down who printed it like using logs and such for the printer queue and uh sure enough it was a guy i call my friend it was kind of a really good sysadmin in it who just hunted it down and made it happen. They had to talk to him. He's so good-hearted. Once you found out it was him and he was like, I just wanted to see if it could be done, it ended there. You can do the right paperwork

and you can make yourself a pipe bomb. Legally, you mean? Yeah, you can legally make yourself a pipe bomb. This guy... I know this guy of course of course you do i i i i know this guy what a crowd you run with look i i know a lot of people all right um they're not all maniacs i'm not this guy's out there we we kind of we in private we're like wish that uh he didn't do these sorts of things you know

he's really poking the beast in the eye on purpose here but basically he was uh he was selling the pipe bomb bodies and uh you know all you gotta do is fill out your atf paperwork and you got yourself a legal pipe bomb uh also molotov cocktail uh bottles you know and you just do your paperwork and you're good to go he's not selling active bombs these are like he's selling you everything you need to make a legal one he's selling you the body and uh he tells you bomb kits basically yeah i don't understand the molotov cocktail it seems like a molotov cocktail kit is like a bottle of Absolute and a rag. Well, Absolute isn't flammable enough, not even close, but

you'd want to use gasoline or something like that. Okay. But it's also defined as a destructive device by the ATF, so by making one, you've just committed a felony. So if you wanted a legal Molotov, then you need to go to that guy. See how he's engraved

the thing with a serial number on the glass bottle and everything? You'd need to do something like that. But if it was ever used by someone breaking the law, it's going to shatter, right? How would the serial number be helpful? That's not the point

of registering it. The point is jumping through the legal loophole to actually... Oh, just to have it. It's to prevent people from making these things. Yeah, you can make one and then throw it in your backyard or whatever, you know? Don't film it. Well, I'm saying if you did the correct paperwork

and everything. Oh, I didn't follow that part of it. That's what this link here is describing. He was selling these Molotovs for $125 and the Pipebomb bodies for $175. I also always assumed that Molotov cocktails had vodka or really, really strong alcohol in there, just because it's a Russian word.

But yeah, gasoline makes a lot more sense. I doubt the Russians over there, in the war, World War II or whatever, were wasting vodka. They were probably wanting to drink all their vodka, throw some gasoline. Makes sense. The more you know. A were probably wanting to drink all their vodka. Throw some gasoline. Makes sense. The more you know. A little liquid courage to help you throw it. Yeah. This is all coming together. Help you take down those evil

Nazi tanks as you wait for your comrade to die so you can pick up his shitty gun. It explains why it's never like soda bottles or something like that. I'm pretty sure a Russian guy named Molotov came up with those during World War II.

But this guy also made a... So it is just a little bit Epsom, a little bit vodka, and you have a fun night, all night. And then it gets co-opted. No, the Molotov cocktail is the homestand of my bar. Everyone have fun at Molotovs. This guy also

made a legal suicide vest you know that you could wear what is with this guy he likes getting attention for this sort of things and basically doing ridiculous things that for some reason are technically legal

and so that's what he does I can't remember what the serial number was but the serial number was something incredibly inappropriate. It was like infidel or something like that. It was something crazy. It was something very inappropriate. That's what he serialized the thing as. And he had it strapped on to a sex doll for, like, display purposes and stuff.

He blew himself up a little last year. He's fine. It works. No, not with the vest. As you can imagine, this is the sort of guy who tinkers with explosives a lot. I don't remember exactly what he was doing, but he had a mishap,

and he blew himself up a little. He's fine. It feels like if you play with fire long enough, you'll get burnt. It's the nature of it yeah I've talked to a lot of guys who do that sort of work and

asking them basically that question he's like well if you follow these steps and these parameters like no you never blow yourself up but you know sometimes you want to have fun right people cut corners after they get comfortable enough you never blow yourself up but you know sometimes you want to have fun right and sometimes being you know like you know people cut corners after they get comfortable every carpenter i know takes

the safeties off their saws they get in the way well that's true yeah stuff like that makes yeah but you know there's there's protocol you know for like uh explosives uh like um trying to think uh when you're getting rid of explosives, when you're blowing up explosives for the purpose of eliminating them from existence or whatever. There's lots of protocols those guys are supposed to go to. But this guy, that's not what he does. He's sort of a provocateur

with a lot of federal licensing. So he just pushes it to the limit for attention for the company, basically. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Because I can't imagine the market is that big for people who want to buy suicide vests and hype bombs. No, he's never sold one. No.

He's never sold a suicide vest. He just made one to show that it could be done legally. Now, say, call me a libtard all you want. No. I don't think you should be able to sell suicide vests. It's like, this is a defensive vest. I'll walk my whole family up before you take them.

We're in here, and I'm wearing my suicide vest. Let me see if I can find the picture of it. He texted us a picture of it one time, and we were just like, ah, I already want this on my phone what the fuck is this but but it's on it's online let's see it's weird like i wonder what it takes to make it a suicide vest right because i i'm picturing a photographer's vest i don't know

if everyone knows what they look like but photographers always have pockets all over the front for like film and lenses and batteries or whatever it is photographers are strapping onto themselves it seems like you could replace that with whatever they use fertilizer or something and make it a vest um well there's more to it than that you know there's shrapnel you add shrapnel and you know you really don't need it like binary explosives like t Tannerite or whatever, is kind of too low velocity, so his is high explosive. And that's what, like, the actual terrorists use.

They usually use Simtex or C4 or something they've cooked up. I was about to start naming ingredients, but, you know. It'd be funny if someone showed up, tried to figure it out on their own, and just, like, killed killed themselves and that was it. A little poo fell. It went inward. Or it's just like a vinegar and baking soda one. He's falling off! I used Coca-Cola and Mentos.

Take it away or your shirt's going to be clean! Coke and mentos that's your your bootleg molotov cocktail oh man yeah that that's crazy that guy's like he's got to be stressed out all the time because he's walking a razor's edge of this shit i'm trying to think or i guess he must not be if he's got all his ducks in a row yeah that's the case like he gets plenty of like um situations where he's hanging out with agents and they're as he says looking at him like he has a dick drawn on his forehead yeah so i went to my suicide fest and they said where's the return market yeah yeah part of his like never had a repeat customer yes best suicide vest in texas yeah but but um but yeah that that's fucked up with the guy making the bombs yeah i don't know i wish they would talk about i'm always

curious from my own personal standpoint as to what kind of bomb is it? Because when I watch the whole thing about the Unabomber, you get a window into just how... the genius that Ted Kaczynski was by just the makeup of his bombs. If you look into it, he handmade every component of those things. He made his own screws he made his own nails well that seems excessive unless you know that the fbi is going to be looking at your bomb

and tracking down like where the nails might have been sourced from and you know this guy he wanted to be completely untraceable and he was he was like like you know that they never caught that guy excuse me they caught him but they never caught him he was turned in by his fucking brother this is a guy who was like he was so meticulous and so careful living in a goddamn cabin and when i say cabin i'm being very generous he lived in a shed you know they kept it and put it somewhere like yeah i saw it on reddit recently yeah is it in the smithsonian or something pardon i i said was it in the smithsonian i forget if i saw there's some fbi place but yeah they just took i saw it like an

anger yeah it was just like yeah it's uh there's a great show on netflix where they you know they break down the whole story of how he was caught and everything and uh manhunt the unabomber that's what it's called or just manhunt unabomber uh it's really good and you get to see like all of the psychological profiles they had for this guy and how like they were just ass backwards they thought he was some uneducated uh airline employee when in fact like i don't remember how many degrees kaczynski had on his wik Wikipedia it says he was a prodigy mathematician. Yeah. Just an absolute genius who had

decided he was going to mail bombs to people to further his cause. It's a really good show though. You should definitely watch it. But the way he made those bombs, I feel like I never understood how they could... They're the FBI.

They're the guys who do this for a living. But how did they not say, wow, look at this thing he's built here. This isn't some dum-dum. Maybe this guy had explosives training. That would be my first thought. This guy's got to have some sort of ordinance disposal training or or like that would be my first thought is like this guy's got to have some sort of like ordinance disposal training or something like that he must have like maybe he was in law enforcement he's seen this stuff overseas or something like like but they thought he was some dumb airline employee and they not couldn't be farther from the truth yeah that's

ridiculous you'd think they'd figure that out immediately as soon as they're like oh every single thing in this is handmade i hadn't heard that before i had no idea he made his own screws the other story the airline one the so they killed some girl's puppy by putting oh yeah man united united airlines made made them put their 10 month old pug puppy this is so cute they got a picture of it in thumbnail. It's like, no! Put it in the overhead bin and it suffocated. I wouldn't have guessed that. I wouldn't have either. No one in the plane did either, I guess.

I thought there'd be air flowing in there. It didn't seem airtight to me. It was yapping for the first few minutes. Plus, I don't know how much air people need. If you put me in an airtight coffin, don't i have like the three hours i need to make a flight you know like oh i have no no to a coffin no three hours yeah i don't think so like like a coffin i don't feel like three hours i think you're dead yeah i

would say in a coffin you've got like like i wouldn't imagine you had more than 45 minutes honestly. Yeah I feel like half an hour and you're getting woozy. Yeah. Like you're passing out. Yeah cuz like I don't know if you've ever like taken a bag and like breathed the air twice. Like on the second time you inhale it's like whoa that's almost not air at all. By the third time it's like I almost got nothing and by the fourth time it's not even oxygen anymore and that's almost not air at all. And by the third time it's like, I almost got nothing. And by the fourth time it's not even oxygen anymore. And that's a volume, you know, yay big, like basketball big or

something. And then five and a half hours. I've got it. I googled it. It goes into all the math. But that leaves 820 liters of air. A fifth of it is oxygen. And that's five and a half hours of oxygen roughly really in a coffin uh look it's right here on the internet oh i believe it yeah i trust it

i'm sure they buried a man alive just to be sure um no no i i believe it if it says it but i wouldn't have thought that um yeah you'd think way less that puppy didn't last that long yeah i'm sure could any i i suffocating like are we sure your your your information does it pass the puppy test i uh like i had a um guinea pig die from a heart attack once uh like my i guess we were washing it's, we kept it in like an aquarium. And while we were washing the aquarium, we put the guinea pig on top of the picnic table because it wouldn't jump down. So it was kind of trapped on that picnic table. Well, my dog thought that would be interesting to pick up and run around with him in his mouth. And he was a fat guinea pig toward old for a guinea pig he was like

seven or eight years old they don't they live to be nine like in the high side and uh he had not a mark on him he didn't seem crushed he seemed healthy so we guessed he died from a heart attack because the dog just carried him around for a while just scared him to death yeah i know uh we saw a rabbit in a field once while we were cutting hay and uh you know it had nowhere to hide and my cousins are chasing it and you might think oh but in the books and movies rabbits are like lightning fast and yeah they're quick or whatever but they don't run for long distances they're like quick sprinters and then they they like hide like so but but in in a field, we're long-distance runners. So my cousin's just chasing it, chasing it.

After not even a minute of chasing this thing, it dropped over dead. Dropped over dead. And we all felt terrible. Where was that trick on the survival trip? We need a Scott? He could have been running rabbits down in the forest Get him Gator

He comes back with a brace Who do you think would have a heart attack first in that situation, the rabbit or Chiz? Oh it's a close one A mini say? A shirt annihilation Well there's not much meat on the rabbit, but Chiz is a big boy.

I haven't seen Chiz. It tastes sweet like a cake shake. Yes. It tastes like vanilla. I imagine Chiz is delicious. That's funny. Dude, well, cake shake came up. Diet time?

I've been doing good. Yeah the most part what do you weigh now i know you were in like the i'm still 189 189 yeah that's what i was last time and i'm still there i didn't remember my i so i lost a pound since the last show which sounds good but i lost it on friday the day after so i've been 198 for like a week now. And it feels like I plateaued. But whatevs. I've been very good on my diet. Very good at logging my diet.

I haven't missed an exercise. It will happen. Yeah. And Kyle, I assume, still a lot of KFC? The day was a good day. I went to uh to taco bell and uh i wanted to get uh they have these orange creamsicle slushies and i wanted one of those but since i was there i was like i'm not gonna leave without a burrito so i got an extra extra large grilled chicken burrito which i love

and i got my orange creamsicle and I was about to go home and I thought, this is not nearly enough food. So I went to Chick-fil-A and I got myself a spicy deluxe sandwich and 12 nuggets. And so that was my lunch today. I had a spicy chicken deluxe delicious sandwich, 12 nuggets, extra, extra grilled chicken uh burrito and my orange creamsicle slushy so you're not on the diet i am that's all i've eaten today and uh you know and that's all you're gonna eat tomorrow i'm oh yeah i'm planning for what comes tomorrow you You know, I'm eating my one awful meal every day. And I'm always planning.

That's pretty much the cake shake diet. It is, but first of all, there's nothing wrong with the cake shake diet. I think a lot of people got the misconception that Chiz was drinking, like, three or four or five of these things a day. They're like 1200 calories right as long as you only eat one i'm not saying he's getting all his vitamins and minerals i'm not saying it's healthy but he will lose weight well so i got the wrong impression along with a lot of viewers i think when we first brought it up because i didn't realize it was just a tweet like a sarcastic tweet where he said new diet i'm gonna eat like one cake shake and nothing

else for the entire week if i remember the tweet right and a lot of people are under the impression he's really downing cake shakes as if they were asparagus smoothies or something right he's not actually eating cake shakes as a diet i think no i don't think he is but like i i assumed he was like and that is one food of the day yeah because like chis does the fasting thing where he'll be like all right i'm not eating this week and i'm like that's sustainable like like of course it's not but you know whatever whatever helps and gets the job done so i assumed he was just drinking one cake shake a day and that was the only sustenance he was consuming. You guys pitched it like that.

There's not even any medicine. Not medicine. There's not even any minerals or vitamins or anything. You have no iron. Speaking of which, Kyle, I looked up the zinc thing. That's some G Fuel cheese. You're not getting your lead. Yes, you need all of your lead. All the heavy metals that you could possibly require from g fuel

uh i'm sorry i use a parmesan grater on my lead try new g fuel heavy metal i'm sorry we're ruining sailor's jokes put some lead in your pencil and your bloodstream all right i'm sorry oh no i was gonna zinc thing. So, apparently it's very not good to take more zinc than you're supposed to because then it can fuck up your ability to absorb iron and copper and magnesium or whatever the fuck

all the other metals. My electrical outlet? Copper? Please. What do you do with copper? I don't know what your body does with it. I don't need that. Do you wonder that too? Like, what the fuck?

What's your body doing with manganese? Yeah, I don't need that shit. You tell me I need protein, I'll get on board. You tell me I need some sugars, some vitamin B or vitamin C. I've heard of that shit. But when you start talking about, you're very deficient in copper.

So what? What's going to happen? I'm not going to conduct electricity like I used to? You have a synaptic system, right? Maybe you'll think more slowly. It doesn't run on copper wiring. Your central nervous system's got copper throughout your whole system. Your feet.

You won't feel your toes anymore if you're low on copper. It's the first symptom. So copper deficiency. Please be right. Please be right. anymore if you're low on copper it's the first symptom so copper deficiency please you're right please fatigue arthritis osteoporosis paleness low body temperature are always feeling cold so apparently every woman on the planet anemia brittle bones and frequently getting sick oh but I have like the more items button because apparently that doesn't scratch the surface of what copper does for you how much copper is in a joint muscle soreness a stunt in growth bruising my growth's been stunted for like almost 25 years or something

that right like 30 years holy i haven't gotten taller in almost a decade that's one of my favorite bits from The Office, is where they go into Michael's office and he's been measuring himself, and they're like, look, Michael's been measuring himself. And he grew. He had grown over the couple

of years he'd been there. He's 40 years old. We had one of those, I'm sure you guys both had it as a kid where like your parents set up like a board or whatever and they'll measure you against it and uh my parents did not do so we had one of those me and my brothers on it and so it was like a ton of history of of our growth and everything so you could go back there and be like ah ah, I'm the winner, you know, at most ages. Just said Woody got hit with the board. No, we wouldn't put pencil on the house. How dare you? No, of course not. You'll ruin the house.

But we were moving once, and my mom was like, oh, and this board, make sure you take that out. And this, you know know bosnian dude clearly didn't understand what she was saying and he ended up just cutting it up and disposing of it like any other board so she's like where's the boy's growth board it's like oh yeah you mean the board uh the the uh the the one up on the side he's like yeah yeah uh i, Amir, whatever, that one. Oh, I chop you up in Domstrad front. He's like, all right, thanks. But this is what you get when you hire a Bosnian worker who just got there. But you can't get mad at them because the Serbs were really bullying them.

Yeah, they had a hard time. They were not allowed to keep records. It was bad mojo to be keeping records. They were going to come in, find that, and then know we're all a family. That's why they're destroying the 11-second record. On the fitness talk, I'll say this. So I only lost a pound, so I'm not excited about that. I'm adding some strength.

That's kind of a spot where I see more visible changes, you know, because you can really record that. I've had more fun with Colin adding strength. That kid is lifting so much more than he was before not that it's a big amount or anything but the difference in improvement and he's funny because he doesn't tell you when it's getting easy you just see him like busting him out or like you know we do sets of fives he'll lose count and do nine and it's like ah you shouldn't have done that you know here's a 10 more pounds and uh but yeah he's i think his goal a pull-up in five good form push-ups uh his birthday is april 15th and i think we'll hit it in time i think that's the deal yeah so pretty soon he'll be lifting more than you because he's got those youth

he does i mean everything about to start pumping soon is going to be a while though like i think Pretty soon he'll be lifting more than you because he's got those youth. He does. I mean, everything about to start pumping soon is going to be a while though. Like I think he'll be over 18 when he passes me. He's got that Woody just hit puberty on his 15th birthday thing cooking for him. So it'll be a little while. But I'd look forward to the weights being closer. I like that.

It sounds lame to say that putting the weights on is like a third of the workout but when you go from my weights to his weights and mine to his like between every set taking those weights on and off is exercise and it's frustrating yeah honestly like like i've done that as part of the workout though and then it's not as frustrating yeah i've done that before and it's it's annoying though because like i don't know the kind of workouts that i would do is you know you put whatever 135 pounds on and and do eight or ten reps of that and then you want the other person to be as strong as you so while you're resting they do eight or ten reps of that and then you go up you know 10 or 15 pounds and do four or five reps of that but if while you're supposed to be resting he's taking all your goddamn weight off and stepping down to 95 pounds and and then when now that it's your turn you gotta now the weights don't match up so you gotta

take his 95 off and put your because you can't just add the 95 or the weights don't match up correctly you know it's that's what that's one place where i know machines are different than free weights but it's nice to be on a machine you just be like clink clank you know just just pull the pin put it in i can't imagine how much machines cost though i bet it would have been there no so i got a used one um remember that yellow machine that you saw in the wings redemption videos it's got like it's got all kinds of shit on it. It's got the pull-down stuff, and it's got the rowing-type exercises, and leg lifts and folds and stuff. And it's also got overhead press and regular bench press.

I don't think I paid more. I definitely didn't pay a grand. It was like, I got it used, and I think I got it for like $600 to $800, something like that. It was a steel. I've been looking for used dumbbells. They are the same price as new dumbbells. I did not find a break on them. Yeah.

You should make your own. That would be a cool video. Is it cheaper, though? Because I just imagine paying retail for steel or something. Maybe you could do something with water or concrete oh maybe but that's not what i want you know i want them to be nice i um i might just break down and buy them at some point because i i'd like them but for now we're doing fine with the bar and the rack it's it's going good that's good but yeah i don't know i fitness talk but i'm

excited about it making some progress uh even though the scale just said a pound i feel like there's some sort of sculpting that's going on i feel like the next step is the good one right like i what did i lose in this round uh six pounds and i put on i don't know some pounds of muscle so maybe i lost 10 pounds and gained four pounds of muscle or whatever it is. Um, those are the like stupid beginner games that no one else can see or gives a fuck about. Do that again.

And people will see it, right? If I lose like six more pounds or better get 10 more pounds and add four pounds of muscle somehow, that'll be really visible. The next step. This isn't even my final form guys it's coming i'll believe it when i see i'm bulking right now anyway uh yeah what is this picture you linked

this oh that's that's called a kingfisher. They live in the Mediterranean Sea. Terrifying, right? Yeah, it's a very scary fish. It looks human. Yeah, it almost does, right? Is it really a real fish? Yeah. It looks real to me.

Not to me. It looks like a human face put on a fish. I don't quite see that. Who would do that? Yeah, what's to gain? Only God. Only God. Can make an abomination like this.

Yeah. You mean you don't believe that a fish has nostrils? Fishes do have nostrils. Not like that. Most fish have nostrils. He's right, Taylor. That's just a fish.

I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that fish have nostrils. Almost every fish I've ever seen has nostrils. They do have nostrils. And nice, big, straight noses it's like michael jackson a little doesn't it it does look a little michael jackson-y the nose just the nose because the nose is a little upturned look at those dead eyes have you ever seen a fish with pupils like that like it's surprised yeah that i don't know i'm

trying to figure out which part of this fish exactly is the least real it seems like it's the whole jaw chin thing that's getting me it looks like a grouper or something though i mean fish have eyes and they kind of look like human eyes it's usually they're on the side they definitely have nostrils and those teeth i mean fish have all kinds of weird teeth things going on i i wouldn't put any teeth configuration really outside the fish world it doesn't look particularly aerodynamic though right like it doesn't look like it cut the water well got a big flat face yeah the hydrodynamics are off species of hydrodynamics in a big way but it it's it's all about

the cheek and the jaw going on there that just makes it too humanoid. It's a strong jawline, though. I mean, I'm turned on, obviously. I'm feeling a certain kind of way. This is actually called the Chadfish. Oh, God. Is this a fortune? This is the Chadfish.

He's got a strong jawline. He's totally buff. It gets the bitches. that's a little gross i would not want to run into a school of those what is the source of that like a a mad taxidermist i'm going to say ah yeah taxidermy is a bizarre thing how do you like i don't know what's so i I went to school with a girl who went into... What do you call it? Mortuary service or whatever? Like when you embalm human bodies and prepare them? Right?

And it's so dark, right? I don't get it. Why do you aspire to do that? I watched Six Feet Under, and I watched, there was a movie about this with Dan Aykroyd, where that's what he did. I don't remember what that was called, but I don't get it. Why would you ever do that?

I think I'd rather be a garbage man. Oh, yeah, at least you're only occasionally finding dead bodies. Yeah. Yeah. At least as a garbage man, when you see a dead body at work, you're like, ah, it must be Tuesday. But this is everyday occurrence. Like, oh, what is it this time? Oh, a child ripped apart.

OK. Another car accident. What about tomorrow? Oh, more children ripped apart. Ah, rough week. Oh, this kid was crushed to death by a falling bridge it's like i haven't even had topical coffee this morning yeah topical we can talk about that but like that would be you have to be a special breed of person to be okay with that i you know i was bullied by a mortician for a while for years so i'm 15 years old and i'm working after school at this place called

leon's men's it was a mortician prodigy he was the youngest of his kind no he uh uh so i'm 15 and i sell shoes this is back in the day when total al bundy style you actually put the shoes on the customer and uh that was my job after school i mean was a sophomore. The people there were all so mean to me. To this day, I'm like, why the fuck? Because they were grown-ups. One was a security guard and a shoe salesman.

The other was, she was actually recently out of high school. Then the guy was like, I don't know, 65, 67 years old. He sounded effeminate, like Mike Tyson. But he looked like an old version of Kevin from The Office. And they just all were mean to me all the time.

And I'd go in there like a beaten dog trying to win them over. Like, hey, guys, good afternoon. School just got out. Here I am. all the time and i'd go in there like a beaten dog trying to win them over like hey guys good afternoon you know just school just got out here i am like anything need restocking and they're like really you fuckheads like why are you mean to me i'm trying so hard here and what would you restock like what would an example uh well it was leon's men's store so we sold like shirts and jeans and shoes and you know sometimes oh sorry i was thinking for some reason that you were restocking something at the mortuary no no so what did they run out of he was a mortician and uh sometimes he would like tell

us that he was a mortician for like the bulk of his career as a way to like get respect like you know you think i'm some sort of shoe salesman i was a mortician for 15 years and i you know i just feel like i know i know like like it was cool but in my heart it's like you think that's winning me over you're like no dude you fucking sound like mike tyson and you look like that um yeah i bet you watched a lot of dead folk in your day big man yeah and i don't i as a guy as a guy at his age i thought like i just kind of held him most responsible for the bullying you know if some chick that just got out of high school is being a bitch well like that that's what chicks who just got out of high school might do, right? Yeah. You know, but the rent-a-cop was like 27.

I don't know. But the grown-up, this guy was like a grown-up grown-up, an old guy, older than I am now. And he was bullying a 15-year-old? What an asshole. asshole if you were 67 working at a shoe store looking back on your glory days of scrubbing dead people's toenails before they could be presented to their family members you'd also probably not like the spry kid with his life ahead of him you know hey ted how's it going oh you know believe it or not the part of my life where i you know, putting teeth back in people's heads after car accidents, that was the plus. Now I'm putting teeths on this horrible old woman and I wish she was dead.

I didn't look at it through that lens. I like that. And that takes some comfort. He's surely dead now. Oh, undoubtedly. He's been on the other side of that transaction now. Oh, it's gone full circle. I would want to talk to a mortician and ask questions, but I feel like the kind of person

who takes that job isn't going to be a very good conversationalist. Not a lot of people skills. Get our fucks of bodies. No. My mouth is dry. Yeah, I wouldn't do that.

Oh, the bridge collapsed. Did anyone die? Get hurt? Yeah, yeah. It said multiple people earlier today, but I haven't checked up in a while. Do you have a good photo or link? Do you find a photo or a video? Oh, and I heard that the bridge itself was like a

quick bridge that they threw up in like literally a day. What? It was like a military operation? I don't know. I guess it was a new kind of bridge that they got put up real quick. But... Hmm.

Does this video actually show the bridge collapse or is there not a video of that? If this were Russia, we'd have that because of dash cams. Hindsight's 50-50, but I'm going to say one-day bridges might not be as good as normal bridges. I'm going to say spend two. Spend two days, three days maybe. A week.

Just make sure nobody dies on the bridge. There is a video, Chiz, of the bridge being put up. Do you have that? I want to see how shoddily this thing was erected. It just tips over in place, and there it is. It was inflatable like a bouncy house. Hot wheels on the side. Look at the way it broke, though.

That section didn't drop out. It seems like the whole thing fell and broke. Yeah, it just collapsed. like it that section didn't drop out this is like the whole thing fell and broke yeah it's just yeah it reminds me of uh like like the la earthquakes that they had back in like whenever it was the early 90s when like the overpass just sandwiched on top of itself it's uh just complete failure man that'd be a fucked way to go i don't get smushed oh imagine if you were like kind of alive in there and you was like like you couldn't take a full breath oh that is a rough one you smell gasoline and hear the screams and you can't even reach your loved ones who are also in the car

oh that's so panic inducing yeah, to not be able to move, being trapped in there. I wonder if anybody's still trapped in there. I would... Nah. I would hope not. They got them all out by now, I'm sure, right? How many people died, Chiz, have they said yet?

Because I know there were a lot of... Or not a lot, but quite a few injuries. Let's see. At least four dead. dead oh that's terrible yeah those are like some of the most tragic kinds of deaths is like i always think of like what was the person thinking as they were driving under that you know or towards that underpass just 10 seconds earlier you know like the thought of death was probably not even in their mind it was like oh i gotta make sure i study for this test so maybe i'll have time to go to the gym later oh i'm gonna i'm gonna get this at the cafeteria and then you're just dead like i always think about that

what their last kind of thoughts were yeah probably something just fucking random and bull just some random bullshit benign yeah they didn't anticipate that half like yeah which and it makes me think like when i'm driving on the way home from work or from to somewhere or whatever and i'm thinking like oh yeah i'm gonna make that for dinner oh i'll stop by the store and get this i need some more uh time to make potatoes or whatever and then just like that could be my last thought yeah you know i could have a brain aneurysm my last question could have been, Furious Pete, what was the biggest thing

you ever shat out undigested? And I could have went, and that's the way people would remember me. They wouldn't remember me. Oh, they play that clip over and over, though. That'd be your last little quip. Yeah. All right.

PKA 390, once again, taking host suggestions. You guys can't see, i i have like the pka is dead i have a pka big screen on so we can watch videos and stuff happen can you make a non-christmas themed one for me you made this one it's great if we could just remove the episode number and like the, the jingle bells going across everybody's faces. That would be great. Cause you mean it's not Christmas. Do a St. Patty's day one. Let's just do a regular one.

We can use. It'll be a St. Patty's day in October. Like, like, like, I mean, you know,

I mean, you're asking a lot. Maybe I could get the Photoshop file, the PSD, and I could do something. It can't be that hard to make red. We could get some of those geniuses over on the subreddit to just scrub out the

jingle bells. I loved the Charisma Awards Photoshop. I need to go check. Explain what it is, Kyle. Well, I mean, it's better if you just see it and then you absorb it.

So let me see if I can pull it up. Chiz, if you're able to get it faster than me, I should have it in the next five or six seconds. Yeah, let's see. Here's the link. I'm going to go straight to the image. Yeah, all right. Here it comes.

The memeing on PKA, it's good, but they'll take a meme, and by the end of that day, it's worn out. I mean, it normally takes me. This is an exception here. Oh, yeah? This is OC, baby. This is funny exception here. Oh, yeah? This is OC, baby. This is funny. All right.

It's the most charismatic host awards. And Wings wins. And you can see my face, Kyle's face, and Woody's face all looking different levels of disappointed. I look more disgusted. Taylor's figuring out he who smelt it dealt it or something uh i am some great level of concern and confused and kyle's just walking back looking back amused by it all i was just going no shit wings was more charismatic than all of us i i like the detail i like all the memery it's funny yeah and i hadn seen Wings smile in so goddamn long that it looks unnatural, right?

Aw. Like, you might as well have horns. Like, that's not what Wings looks like. He's smiling. I watched a couple of those, you know, Wings clip show channels, you know, where they, like, take his moments. Yeah, the clip show channels you know where they like take his moments yeah the clip show channels what's your favorite clip show channel

would it be tips of redemption or wings of redemption professional ebagger which of the clip channels do you prefer so but now youtube thinks all I want to see are wings of redemption clip show channels it's it's my recommended recommended gets filled with it like you just watch a couple they're like have you seen

this have you seen like no i haven't seen it no i haven't seen it and uh it's like wow goodness i i didn't realize there were so many you know i in my head there were like two or three and then i'll be like i haven't even heard of this guy and then they'll be like he'll have like 15 videos to his name yeah yeah and like get the popcorn jackie now that there is an issue kids you watch you watch one clip shows content and then really the other one is just the same thing but rearranged so i think at some point one of the clip shows is going to rise to the top. I think that – so one of them today released a video and within – I'm going to be conservative and say within five hours it had 8,000 views. That's not bad.

Oh, I actually watched that one. Was it just highlights of his stream? I guess we were saying all the way after this. Low lights. They're all lights of his stream. It's 11,000 views now, as of now. How many hours is it? I want to be exact because

it's prescient. It came out today. I want to say it came out 10 hours ago. I probably haven't seen it. Is it different than the rest? It's linked down below. It's the one whose thumbnail is Wings photoshopped on that gigantic obese vampire

from the first Blade movie. Oh, that tickled you a little Taylor they're creators fuck look and like anybody not talking about the wings thing but like I like how

weird the subreddit is getting don't you like it it's not as much like hey what do you think about this topic or oh I agree or disagree with this set of things they said. It's just fucking weird now. And I like it. It's funny. I like being

able to pop in every so often and there's a whole page of a new meme that I didn't know. Usually it's me. I don't think of myself as the most meme-worthy host, but it's usually me. But there's pictures of you dancing in giant khakis. All the stuff you've done.

You did so much stuff for your channel. Maybe it's because I have 3,000 videos and there's just me doing everything. Yeah, there's a lot to clip from in that way and get screenshots. But yeah, I like the direction the subreddits go. And it's hilarious. It's super funny. But yeah, I'll just be like, oh, here's the new meme. And then I'll look at whatever, seven or eight of them.

I consume a bunch. And then that wraps up. If you hover over the PK at the top on the banner, if you enable the subreddit style, just a giant picture of Woody's head pops up. Making a face of some sort. Now the banner is different, though. Now it's like an amalgamation of all of us.

It's like you in your Halloween makeup, me sucking a gigantic imaginary cock, like various Woody faces, and we're all twisted and distorted. Wings is peeking out a bit. Yeah, wings is in there looking around. I wish they would put the green hulk wings in there if you guys on the subreddit don't have access to the green hulk wings gif you are fucking up um it's one of my favorites i but but yeah i haven't seen that either oh yeah you're right that it is everybody

but like there's three giant woodies in the middle like I didn't even notice it and then there's a small woody I think that yeah those are all me and I think Kyle's licking me or something there's like three woodies there's a Jordy in the bottom

there's a smaller pick of woody down there there's only one of me upside down with my Halloween makeup on from like three years ago. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, this is worth showing the audience. I don't think this is mean. This is just good content.

Oh. Oh. I can watch it for hours. That is fucking hilarious. If you go on Twitter and you know how they have a gif adder on Twitter where you can open the gif thing, type whatever you want, it'll have a bunch of thematic things. If you just put in

stop, it's like one of the first ones on there. I feel like this is at least as good as that this is i i laugh harder at this than i do at the stop one i wonder how wings feels about this does he feel like he's like this is a low moment that's being like revisited constantly he hates it does he hate all because i don't hate it like i'm making stupid faces all over the place and i'm just like oh that's what i look like when i make we have senses of humor though he look you've got to watch all of the stream highlights he's like i don't have a sense of humor i'm not here to laugh i'm not here to have fun i'm here to sit here and make

this money and then the next sentence would be like i don't smile i don't conversate and some guy i'll be like is that a word huh i don't smile. I don't conversate. And some guy would be like, hey, are you? Huh? I don't know that word, conversate. Is that a word that other people use? I'm just checking. I don't mean to. It's what Wings uses.

Conversate's a term. You know, it's, yeah. And probably Wings is more educated than me. Look at this. It's a word. Conversate. Engaging conversation. You never went to

school for metallurgy and bullshittery. It's a word, though. I want to be... I'm trying to link you this entire Imgur album, but I'm bad at things. Informal. I've done it. Okay, so Woody...

I play with a bunch of PK fans and PUBG. And one of them, Rohan, shout you out, buddy. He is... He says, hey, I have a friend who is a massive Wings of Redemption fan. And he used to spend hours every single day. He must have spent dozens and dozens of hours over the course just making Wings images and GIFs. And here is the album of them if you guys want to see it. And I was like, show me.

And this is that album. This is, off the top of my head, 500 images and 60 GIFs. Is he a fan or a hater? Lay it out for me a little bit. Wings is unaware of this. He's indifferent, I'm going to say. He's fascinated, as we all are.

But if you scroll through these, some of these are just you grab a screen grab at a silly moment, like when Wings is smiling funny or making cat fingers. but here's him in an SS officer's hat giving the Hitler salute. Here's him as, I don't

know, a wrestler. Here's him as a Pokemon trainer. Here's him with your face instead of his, but it's you being choked unconscious. Here's him holding a hamburger, a Pop-Tart, McDonald's french fries. Here's him showing his large foot. Here's him holding a hamburger a pop tart mcdonald's french fries um here's him showing his large foot um here's him photoshopped onto a sexy body but with a captain's hat for some

reason um and as you scroll down like like you'll see that some of them are just poor quality right here's here's him with on gerbil's body he's with hitler at some sort of parade and but as you scroll down you'll see that some of these are just great. Some of these are actually funny. But like I said, 500 images. So you really got to sift through. I saw the one with my face while I was being choked. That's just poor quality.

Yeah, yeah. Look, if you're looking for high quality here, you're not going to get it. I feel like I've been scrolling through these. I've seen a lot. And I just looked over at the little bar to show how far down the page I am. Maybe an inch.

Maybe an inch down the page. There are so many of these. I was watching a stream clip the other day. And it was probably the darkest thing I'd ever seen in Wing's stream before. He was talking to the audience about how much weight he used to weigh at this point and that point in his life. Chiz and I were watching at the same time. I want to say it was me and Chiz and a few guys and watching the stream live. and he went and produced a photograph a framed picture and he was like this is me when i weighed i want to say 240 pounds and he shows the camera and sure enough

you know he's he's big but he's 240 pounds you know and then he looks at that picture and something happens something something something deep happened he was just like like a hope inspired thing oh no oh no the opposite of that like a like a tragedy like a like a like a realization yeah like a loss of a tragedy, like a moment missed, like a realization. Yeah, like a loss of hope. Like there was a moment where he was like, that's where I was, and this is where I am. It was a dark moment.

We weren't laughing at that. We were like, ah, shit got real. Ah, dang. No, that sucks. Yeah, it was a dark, moment i it's but then he started eating uh his banquet meal and and and that perked us right back up because he does he he chews like a dog you know just to chomp chomp swallow chomp chomp swallow and that banquet meal's gone um those those streams are fascinating to me and it's it's god it's hard to i i'm in this cyclical

pattern where i go from like feeling really bad for him and wanting to help him and then i'll start going through these ideas of how i could help him and like ah maybe we do do a boot camp of some kind or maybe we get this or that going on for him and then like there'll be 10 minutes of him just being like a horrible person like like there was a kid today that i saw who was like he didn't know what wings did or whatever and he's like hey so you're like a call duty streamer or something and wings goes ban that guy but like what like he's just banning everybody and he's just throwing shit and just cursing at people and treating like the only the people who are like his most loyal fans just so poorly.

I don't know what to say. I go through that cyclical pattern, just like everybody does. I see this on Reddit too. One minute, everybody despises him. They're like, ah, most toxic person ever. And then you pity him. You're like, ah, Wings needs our help, guys. And then you're like, oh, yeah, I remember why I hated him before.

And then you come right back around again. I and we all go through this circle of, you know, I like Wings. I got such a history with him. I really do like him. But, God damn, it's hard. It's hard. I hear you. Like, it happened just recently right so

Wings was Wings said something about me I came back at him really hard probably too hard and then Wings got swatted and then suddenly everybody is like oh my gosh can you believe that happened isn't this terrible like you know they were on his side

again because he got swatted and there was something like pitiable about that. I don't know. Like everyone's heart goes out. You feel bad for him. Yeah. And, uh, uh, and then, you know, he streams some more and, and, you know, shows his worst side and suddenly they're all mad at him again. And that's, that's the cycle that happens all the time.

Yeah. him again and that's that's the cycle that happens all the time yeah i i here's one where i am the monkey holding up in america uh that's rafiki that's rafiki holding up simba thank you yeah and the photoshop quality is unrivaled i i hardly recognize no beard jordy he is an interesting looking fellow you know what he said uh recently like like he said that he would not shave his beard for one thousand dollars oh man i'd shave my beard for a thousand dollars goes back yeah i like this one too lord of the wings what's the wings yeah i thought he'd like this one too. Lord of the Wings. Lord of the Wings. Yeah, I thought you'd like that one. I've been scrolling through these and I'm worried that a couple of boobs

showed up on the stream. Those are man boobs though. Yeah, those are man boobs. Man boobs are kosher. Maybe I haven't scrolled through enough of the images. I haven't seen any boobs or man boobs. Yeah, there was a man

boob at one point but again it's a man boob so here's one with wings me and hitler on a mission i'm oh i think i have a dead chicken in my musketeers you guys are doing the lord's work and there's a cow in there wow this picture of wings is i know you can't see what i'm seeing but the uh um the audience can maybe that'll work this one's a son of a gun this there is like this isn't high quality photoshop but someone spent a lot of time making these 500 images and if you skip all the way oh here he is with the red rain with the with charlene this is an old ass picture right here i shouldn't talk about

the ones that i i'm not gonna link it so yeah yeah he spent so much time doing this there's a whole segment of him like on our shooting day like shooting that mozen the god um there's and there's so many pictures i've never seen before, and I fancy myself as a Wings of Redemption historian. Bit of a scholar, really. I prefer that, yes. Let's stick with that from now on. I prefer that. Scholar, yeah.

Dude, some of these. I can't stop scrolling through this. It's addictive. I feel like this section's gone on too long, but I can't stop. Why is he on a snail? Who did this? Why did someone spend so much time? I feel like this section's gone on too long, but I can't stop. Why is he on a snail? Who did this? Why did someone spend so much time?

Most of these, I don't even get the joke. It's just him photoshopped onto random things. You're right. I don't know what the theme is. This one doesn't even have wings in it. It's imageralbum forward slash A forward slash S9OJ1. I don't know. That's probably not the most expedient way to share an imageralbum, but, you know.

But there you go. I've held down just my cursor on the down arrow for like, it feels like 10 minutes. Halfway. Halfway. I'm baffled by the fact that I's just i just got to all the brokeback mountain oh i'm in this one yeah i'm holding wings i i like this exists here he is at the last supper here he is in the batmobile here he is in a lowrider here is his santa claus he's in the free candy van and this one's done pretty well what when did you scroll back up if you're at

free candy to kim jong-un it's uh it's about 10 pictures up from free candy you see kim jong-un i do but i don't see wings zoom into his eyes zoom into Kim Jong-un? I do, but I don't see wings. Zoom into his eyes. Zoom into Kim Jong-un's eyes. What? Yeah, trust me. Look deep into the eyes of Kim Jong-un. Hold on. I lost my place.

How far down the page is it? I'll just link it. I have not. This is how you can tell I've spent far too much time in this album. When I zoom it, it shifts around, and it's harder to do than you might think. But I did see him in there. If you open it from the link I just sent you,

I think maybe it'll... On my monitor, at least, it was much easier to zoom all the way in. Wings is in the eyes of Kim. I don't know. It's outrageous that this exists. It's so outrageous. All of us are like, Oh my God, can you believe that?

Why is he in the battlefield on, on my little discord? Like this is what we do. We, do we we look at this for hours at a time and and like did you see this one did you see that one what about the one where he's face swapped with a little puppy yeah it's great it's not even about wings so much as it is about the creator of this thing. I agree. Who is the guy holding the picture? There's a meme within a meme, right?

Because it's me holding wings as Brokeback Mountain and some guy holding a picture frame for I don't get that part. Some of these memes are probably three or four years old and were minor memes and we just don't get them, being frank. I don't know. Some of these aren't even memes i mean here he is in in a music video for some reason like oh here he is on top of the mountain god he's failing to load or is there a pixelated section where are the gifs because those were oh maybe maybe i didn't see a single gif as i was scrolling through are you at the bottom

i got you i got you bro there's a whole nother album there's a whole nother album how can there be bam i'm almost at the bottom i'm gonna go super fast i guess yeah this is the gif album and and uh all right Yeah, this is the GIF album, and, and, uh... Alright. My mouse just stopped working? What the fuck? Too much scrolling? Oops. Jesus Christ.

Right? So many pictures opened up that my internet got slow. i'm gonna not click on the gift thing because that'll slow me down again what a problem to have this is the gifts are fantastic and this this was all one one individual who made all this or like an amalgamation of lots of different people no no this one person individual yeah yeah cheers this is one guy that's ridiculous i love him dancing you know what wings has got some moves for a big man i felt like he was a worthy competitor oh did he do the dance thing with you uh i forget how it happened i think i did a dance thing with jackie just yeah you know i don't know content and then wings challenged us and we would go

back and forth a little bit jackie got into a wedding dress for one of them oh yeah wow wings is looking pretty fit in this one on his porch yeah the one where he's spitting up on himself i don't even know what that's from but it's great with the brazzers logo it's that much funny they're funnier i i i feel like i've discovered like an ancient civilization and i just want to know more about it. This is what people felt when they reached that last peak and they saw Machu Picchu. Rohan did suggest that this individual was heavily intoxicated

during the manufacture of these, just as the builders of Machu Picchu were on the coca leaf. Yes. And you wouldn't guess that he was drunk off his ass by the quality of these photoshopped stuff. I was told it was not alcohol. Oh. He was on something else. He was on something else.

Just on, like, cocaine. He was like, all right, I can make 500 of these by morning. No way I can't. And I worked 17 hours straight and and i gotta be work on monday so yeah this would be great i can be a little late if i can do eight an hour i have two computers like this one can render and i'll get on that one and they'll go back and forth we'll alternate honey just come click click click render taking the kids to your mother's what dude the whole thing is i got it's not even about wings as much as it is about wings as it is like that somebody did this this is more of an indictment on the individual who made this

it absolutely is chis just sent you a thing it's time stamped so wings has a carl sagan photo uh poster behind his uh behind him on the wall. And people often ask, hey, who's that a poster of? Because Carl Sagan isn't a very recognizable individual. I know who Carl Sagan is. I've watched Space Odyssey or Cosmos, and I still didn't recognize him. And he'll be like, ah, this is Carl Sagan. He's my personal hero.

He was the first person to make me feel that it was okay to be part of the atheist movement. And then he'll hang it back on the wall. Well, today I guess he was a little upset. There's today. Yeah, so someone asked him, who's that poster of on the wall wings? Should we do it?

Alright, 3, 2, 1, play. that poster of on the wall wings and then should we do it oh yeah all right three two one play oh there's fucking music i know i'm gonna get busted for that second of music there was music there was all my you have no idea like every little no my phone rang once in my pocket and i got a copyright violation for it it's outrageous um i blame chis yeah it's clearly on that yes um let me tell everyone about keeps let's see here and there's a massive do not say this section so you guys just keep your mouth shut roger that it's a paragraph um hair loss isn't just your dad's problem it happens earlier in life than you think by 35 two out of three men will start losing their hair but hair loss isn't

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You can't tell him to try it today! Very cool product. I like what they're doing there. They're really taking... I think some people would be embarrassed to actually go to a doctor or even maybe go to the pharmacy. I bet people would feel like it's like buying... Some guys are weird about buying condoms, right? Like some guys are weird about buying lube um and by weird i mean you know it's embarrassing and depending on who the checkout person is i could understand that and i and i could see why uh or buying a product like this over the counter might be embarrassing to some people and certainly like going through the hassle of seeing a doctor could be uh could be a thing for some people but this is gets gets rid of all

of that you do everything from your uh the comfort of your couch as it says right here and the first month's free so yeah check it out i feel like i'm not easily embarrassed um yeah and that happens as you get older you just be like stop giving a fuck what people think but when my mother-in-law was with us in kind of like a hospice situation people don't know what that means it means they're dying here i had to buy all kinds of embarrassing shit and i didn't like it you know i almost like i didn't but in my head i'm like explaining to the cashier that this isn't for me you know i don't know i'm not actually having the issue that this solves uh you know it's somebody who's staying with us and yeah i feel you

on that one um like like i've always thought like like i'm buying condoms god damn this this means i'm getting laid motherfucker like judge me all you want you know the same thing with lube um but if you're buying like anti-fungal cream for your balls or something it's like oh this is for my uncle um i i noticed that he had a fungus uh last time i was i mean, God damn it. Don't ask why I was so close to his balls. I'm just going to shoplift it. I'm just going to shoplift it. I'm rolling the dice. I was going to bring that same example up

for an embarrassing thing, because I don't know if you've ever had it, but I've had ringworm before. And it's gross. I've never had lice, but I've had ringworm before. And it's just a type of fungus that like looks like a ring on you and it itches i think it's uh i think it's some some creatures living in your skin it's not it's a fungus because i know because i went i went to cvs yeah and like was like hoping that the container would be like you know i don't know what I thought it would say. It just says, no ringworm.

It's a hookworm colony that lives in a circular-like pronunciation on the skin, and it recommends burning them out. Well, you're wrong. He's making it up. I know know that's why i asked for a link yeah i remember i remember there's a kid in elementary school yeah kid it's gross it's like wet looking like there was this kid in elementary maybe maybe maybe what this kid had wasn't rainworm but i was like scaly looking he had it on the back of his neck and it was a circle and it was it looks like a really bad scrape except it was wet and it was gross as

fuck and that is contagious as fuck too like you i wasn't looking at you're gonna get it why would i touch it oh i just mean like against you something. Yeah, would you rather have lice or ringworm? How long does it take to get rid of lice? You have to shave your head, right? Or use like... I don't know. You have choices. You can shave your head. How about lice?

There's a special lice comb. And I guess first you shampoo with poison. And then you use a special lice comb that has really thin like teeth yeah coma's teeth right so and then that sort of like gets all the eggs out and i feel like you do it you treat it again or something i forget i've actually never had it yeah i've never had it either like i know most people have a story at school where they're like oh someone at school got it i went my entire school career. Not once did anybody I know have lice.

You know when I had it? Quick. The day Rambo came out. The first one. The whole family was going to go to the movies. And then, like, it turned out I had lice. So my mother stayed home to help me, like, take care of that while my father and brother went to the movies. We're going to beat those fucking lights out of your head!

Along with those silly ideas you have! She's got stilettos up there like a ball-peen hammer. Pop, pop, pop! I'm going to get us all! Sort of typewriter, bongo drummer. This is what the Lord wants. This is crazy.

And not my parents are memes. Anyway, and it turned out it was like Rambo, one of the better movies of all time. I'm not saying it's the best ever, but it's part of the culture. I was joking the other day about Bash, and I remember that time that you wrestled Bash outside the elevator doors of a hotel. I remember that. You took him down. And I was like, and someone was, I don't remember who I was talking to.

It was someone else who had been there. And we were laughing about it. It was funny. And I was like, you know why he went after Bash, right? Because his father told him that the blacks are the mark of the beast. And what do you think? his father told him that the blacks are the mark of the beast and what do you think did your mother happen to come back after taylor's uh bible story and have any corrections i haven't spoken to her since the bible i'd love to hear her take on moses mom give me a call let me know what you think

you're gonna watch the bible story first i'm sure it's time stamped in the previous pka yeah i think it was pretty accurate taylor you know a lot of good facts what were you taught that the mark of the beast was because i have heard like racist silly people say that african american black people heard that no uh we were never taught anything like that like the mark of the beast thing like for us was like having to do with revelation where they're like oh and you will know people because they will be marked by the beast you know and and their whole interpretation was like there's going to come a time when you need like you know it might even be like a government chip that you

have to have installed in your hand to make any kind of purchases or anything and that's kind of the wrong term there because i'm referring to like the descendants of cain oh the okay so those who like uh when he's like and your ancestors will serve your brothers ancestors and all that uh yeah they never went over that with us they never told us what that meant or i've definitely heard people say that that black people are the descendants of cain i think back in uh back in the olden days of the mormon church i think they might and i don't know much about mormonism to be fair, I think they might, and I don't know much about Mormonism, to be fair. I think they might have believed that, that black people, like, because they didn't allow, like, black pastors in the Mormon church until, like, the fucking 70s or something like that.

Yeah, I'm going to do a quick Google on this. Other than that, Mormonism is very nice. The curse and the mark of Cain. Yeah, mark of Cain is what I was looking for. Mark of Cain. Yeah, Mark of Cain is what I was looking for. Mark of Cain. What does it say? The Curse of Cain and the Mark of Cain are phrases that originated from the story of Adam and Eve and the Jewish and Christian Bibles and the stories.

If someone did something to harm Cain, the damage would come back sevenfold. Some interpretations are viewed as a physical mark, whereas other interpretations see the mark as a sign and not a physical marking on Kane himself. I also have seen paintings where Kane was given horns. Yeah, they got a little dramatic back in the day. It was a story about – I mean, the first part of the story was literally a snake. That's what they begin with, like a talking snake, like, you know, tempting a woman into not eating a magical apple. I don't think they're going too far out on a limb if they give Cain horns for killing his brother.

Well, and I mean, you know, Eve gets a bad rap for that because Adam was there too. She deceived Adam, you know. She was, you know, you was you know you're gonna listen to your wife yeah the mark of the beast thing it okay you know what it is like to me it sounds crazy right i talked to my father and he'll say things like the bible is a perfect book it's never been wrong it's completely infallible everything about it is perfect it's the word of god there's no way it could not be the word of god otherwise it wouldn't be so perfect because man's so fallible and uh mark of the beast thing like he seriously entertained the idea that

it was the new i watch right because it i think it goes on your hand and you can use it to pay and it has apple pay in it and you can do it to pay. And it has Apple Pay in it. Yeah, you can do that with your phone, right? Why wouldn't the phone be the mark of the beast, you know? Why is it making it smaller? There's literally a microchip that you can put in your palm to RFID things. I didn't know about that. But the watch has Apple Pay, I think, built into it.

And you can pay with it. And I think the mark of your beast, it tells you where it goes. Is it like on the back of your right hand or the wrist of your right hand or something? You may be right. I don't recall. I think it was on – oh, forehead. Yeah, that's what Chiz is saying. I guess he looked it up.

Yeah, I always thought it was on the forehead. Oh. I think either forehead or hand, I think, one of those. Yeah. It doesn't matter. It's not real we were new testament Christians we really focused on the forgiveness and the universal

love here is the not so much on ripping on people who eat shellfish almost every lesson actually to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads

so i'll take the hand yeah right the way that's always portrayed is like a 666 it seems like yeah it's not an iWatch in the bible which like like the bible has enough traction now that if it was like new from apple you know know, 666, the iPhone 666, you know, like, we just finished 10. Like, what the fuck are you doing? How did that happen? They did skip 9. They're on their way. Did they really?

They did skip 9. There's a reason. Oh, because it was their 10 year anniversary and they didn't do anything special for the nine like or something yeah i just think the bible's full of like contradictions though you know it seems like they're always contradicting i bet if you google biblical contradictions you'd have like pages of them you know it seems like it's always saying do this do that and one you know one breath it's like oh forgive this forgive that love thy your enemies like your brother do unto them as you would have to do unto you and then the next chapter it's like what you know talking about how to sell your daughter and you know like i love that i've

been watching the west wing i just got to the part where Josiah, the president, owns that Christian chick in there. He's like, I was wondering, you know, what would be a good price to sell my daughter for? And also my brother, he's been planting two crops in the same field. Should I stone him to death or can I have someone else do it for me? And he's like going through all the... I noticed you're wearing two different fabrics. What would be a good punishment for you yeah my daughter had shellfish should i kill her like a stern beating should be should be enough yeah there's a lot of contradictions in the i mean uh the moses story i told last week had contradictions like there's a huge thing about

how oh god gave free will to man so they could make their own decisions and choose whether or not to follow him and spend eternity with him in heaven like aside from the fact that you can't give someone free will that's kind of tautological right like they didn't have a choice to accept it so they were for it was forced upon them in a way but god breaks his own rule with pharaoh he's like god i'm gonna send frogs like plague number actually frankly like plague one when i turn all the water to blood anyone on earth is gonna go jesus christ yeah sure i'll whatever let him leave like but god knew that would happen purportedly and so he had to jump into his own scheme and be like ah but i gotta i gotta toy with this guy i gotta change the stats on his

hard heart to make sure he doesn't ruin my whole play that I'm basically making here. So there's shit, there's so many times in the Bible, but it's the same with any kind of religion or political thing, where they have a foregone conclusion. Oh, am I breaking up? Yeah, you're fine now. It seemed to get better. oh am i breaking up all right you're fine now it seemed to get better oh i was like people go into things with a foregone conclusion where it's like uh you know with the bible any new information you receive you just you already have your mind made up so you just assimilate that information into your pre-constructed worldview like you don't let allow it to take you off course same with like

all the people who are like oh what trump is doing is 4d chess and it's like no you've already made your mind up and then anything he does gets in you you suck that into your pre-packaged worldview no matter what he does it's 4d chess or no matter what god says or does or what happens on the earth with you know earthquakes and tornadoes and innocent children dying under bridges like you gotta force that in there like it's interesting yeah it's meant to be a book of allegories yeah you know these are i'm sorry i cut you off is it meant to be a big scam someone ran a long time ago a way to not have a normal job all right well it's all of the above about to get money out of people by making them

your followers is that what it still is it's that too well well that's religion right but the bible's stories are often some of them have historical basis that's been proven like like the locations the the timelines in some situations are just factually accurate there's geo there's geological evidence and and and corresponding texts from other religions and other uh parts in the world that that that agree that like certain things there just happen like like historical facts are present but you know a lot of the stories are allegories they're they're they're like they're just like uh aesop's fables or uh or fairy tales or bedtime stories you know that are meant to be cautionary tales or you know

you're meant to take something from them beyond the literal interpretation you're not supposed to be a moral lesson it's not supposed to be about oh shit well well god david just slew a goliath that's a story about a a tiny jewish man who beat up a giant who whose shield was as large as a car car hood no, it's not. It's about overcoming overwhelming odds, but with ingenuity and faith in yourself. You know? But people take it so literally. None of those stories that are mystical and magical

are meant to be taken literally. The Catholic Church embraces evolution. Officially, they're like, yeah, this is the way that God made everything. If I were a Christian or religious, I feel like that would make more sense. You'd be like, if God is great, why wouldn't he be able to do it this way?

One of the challenges for me, when you do the whole religion versus science thing, is that science says, this is a theory and this is the way we think until we're proven wrong religion says we are right we can't possibly be wrong anyone who disagrees with me is wrong and then they hold on to that position until it is completely indefensible and then change it and it it's like, but wait, no, you were the can't-change party. You know? You made these rules, not me.

Yeah, that's when you get into the human factor of the whole thing. There was a point where a bunch of Roman senators sat around and voted on which books went in and which books went out, what stuff should be cut and what should be left in. They literally edited it. That wasn't Roman senators. That was the Council of... It was either the Council of Nicaea or the Council of Trent. What was their...

What were they basically a governing body of? Oh, I don't know specifically what they were. I thought that was Constantinople, like after that. Constantine just made it the official religion of the Roman Empire after he won a battle where he thought he saw a cross or something as he was fighting or a star. I don't remember exactly what he saw.

The night before, he saw a flaming cross in the sky and took that as a sign. And so the next day before battle, he had the crucifix put on all the shields of his men and they won the battle. And so he converted the Roman Empire to Christianity. Whereas the shields of his men and they won the battle. And so he converted the Roman Empire to Christianity. Whereas before, they'd been burning them alive and pouring hot lead down their throats and feeding them to lions and shit.

Yeah, they didn't treat Christians too well in the beginning. And then they got treated much better. Yeah, then it became the fucking roman official religion right they got rid of all those roman gods man those roman gods are cool oh even in the greek gods like i wish we had that like if that was still a religion that's just such such a much cooler religion how each like part of life has its own god and like you know there's a there's i like that a lot the catholics kind of have that with the saints though right which i find bizarre oh yeah my uh yeah my i don't know if you guys have any catholics in your family no uh my my dad's side of the family is very

catholic which just means every family gathering is a lot of fun because they get wine drunk and nobody you know it's just a good time but my grandma used to keep these like patron saint statues around and there was there's a patron saint for fucking everything she was trying to sell her house and so she kept like the patron saint of real estate like i had no idea in the back it's everything like they there were apparently a lot of good saints and i guess like the first two dozen took all the good shit to then in later life they're like you can you you have a lot of children you can be the patron saint of kindliness and they're like that one got taken up 400 years ago and they're like all right how do you feel about like car washes all right the patron saint of fresh breath my like it's just my wife is uh catholic to some

extent and she often prays the patron saint of lost things is it saint andrew i forget but uh yeah you can't find your car keys or exactly where the peanut butter is in the pantry that's who you pray to jesus yep saint anthony the patron saint of lost thing of lost items oh which literally this came up people also ask which saint helps you sell your house yeah you can choose to bury saint joseph one feet underground again to make joseph work harder to leave the ground and quickly find a nice home that's that's not cool next to you what is this kill bill even if it is in the front yard i'm gonna start worshiping a frog up the saint joseph statue and give it a place of honor in

your new home ah so frustrating man whenever whenever i see that in a movie that's really the only place i get you know i see that it's when they're you know breaking out a necklace with a saint on and they're like like, oh yeah, this is Saint Jubilee Jew. He's the patron saint of lost causes, home personal computer repair, and soft drinks.

Well, that sounds pretty good. That's my guy. Alright. I hate, it's so fucking stupid. It's so fucking stupid. Like, they believe that like i get believing there's an omniscient omnipotent god up there like i i almost sign off on that but to believe that there's some dead guys up there hanging out with god and they're like what are they they're like a phone bank and like each of them are like receiving those calls.

Like, like, like, like lost keys and home sales department. How can I help you? Yeah. St. Anthony here. Like, like, is that what the fuck is that? That's so retarded. The whole thing seems retarded from my shoes. Right?

Like, like, it's just like, look, this thing all started because people couldn't explain rainfall or dry summers or something. And now we've advanced all the way to helping you find your car keys. And it's the most perfect book to have ever been written. Yet there's contradictions and there's morality things in there that don't fit any reasonable standard of morality anymore. Like Jeb Bartlett pointed out in the TV show. And it's just like god this just you're the one who came up with the this is all perfect rule set and it's clearly wildly like

it's shattered all over the place it doesn't make much sense to me but i haven't been given the gift of faith apparently you have not and again ironically if god is handing out the gift of faith to people that's impacting their free will so it's not really free if he can give faith to people i just found a website full of taylor's bible stories what uh yeah like not yours specifically but is it called but it's this deism website. Here's one for zombies. Here's references to zombies in the Bible. I haven't pre-read this, so forgive me. Starting at Matthew 27, 50, and reading through verse 53, we see that... Let's see, let me put this center screen.

Well, this could be a boom for the show, yes. Whoever the author of the Gospel of Matthew was, as well as the Christian leaders who voted the Bible to be the Word of God, and voted the Gospel of Matthew into the Bible, wanted people to believe that Jesus, when he had cried again with a loud voice, yielded

up the ghost, and behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain. Oh, I hate this writing. God wrote this from the top of the mountain, rent in twain. Oh, I hate this writing. God wrote this from the top of the mountain, and the earth did quake and the rocks rent, and the graves were opened, and many bodies of saints which slept arose, and came out of the graves after his resurrection,

and went to the holy city, and appeared unto many. Based on this biblical nonsense, we are to believe that when Jesus died on the cross on Friday, the gospel contradicts each other regarding the time of the alleged crucifixion, with John 19.14 claiming that it was after the sixth hour, and Mark 15.25 claiming that it was after the third hour that they crucified him. The graves around Jerusalem opened up and the dead bodies came back to life. These zombies hung out in their graves from sometime on

Friday until Sunday morning, at which time Jesus allegedly came back to life, too, at which time the zombies in the cemeteries around Jerusalem allegedly actually went into the holy city of Jerusalem and appeared unto many. This is literally about zombies. This is literally about zombies. This is literally about zombies. It is. Great.

If you look on the left side of the column, a whole bunch of these. A whole bunch of these. Well, look for these in future PKA's to come. The kosher scam slash superstition. Jewish superiority. Wait a a minute wait a goddamn minute is that bad do you know of deism.com uh i don't know deism.com oh i thought you believe in a god i was just saying that it was interesting for them to take that jewish turn in there yeah i

thought i i didn't even know what deism was about and taylor's like we're on deism.com like suddenly like i know where we are holy shit why are we on the same david cyclops on the on the toolbar oh my god shit about this all the time when you click refresh a black man gets hung. Oh! Jesus Christ. Kyle's over there, refresh, refresh, refresh. I found a whole website of biblical contradictions. And that's not saying anything because there are hundreds of these.

Because, you know, I even went through the phase where I was like super, super anti-religion. Because having been raised that way my whole life, and like you finally kind of figure out like hey this this isn't real like this is made up like you feel lied to almost right like it doesn't cross your mind it doesn't cross your mind as much of like oh these people they sincerely believe it and they thought they were doing the best they could to raise you like as far as teachers or pastors and shit like like your first instinct is like, fuck, I've been lied to. They must know on some level too. And defrauding. Yeah, and defrauding. Well, I didn't give money to the church. I did.

Why? That's just what you did. Like pass a fucking plate around. Yeah, and I quickly gave it to the next person. I gave money to the church, hoping that Hope would get into their kindergarten. And she... Did she? Not exactly. She was at like the top of the wait list so she would have oh it's time for a hate crime yeah do that i've

talked about this church too many times but they ruined church for me like we were gonna give it a shot wasn't that i was really into god i was just kind of looking for a community fellowship yeah it was like all right so here's a place i could meet people they'd be my friends they'd be families perhaps good people who knows and uh like i could be part of a church community and like just see what like i'll give it a go what the hell and um the church was just too hardcore like oh do you want your kid to go to school here we'll need your time your talent your treasure treasure especially yeah that's kind of the big one and the first two don't really matter yeah and uh uh yeah they just and you know i thought we gave a lot and and oh by the way like it wasn't like they passed the they do pass the plate around but more than that they ask for your like bank

account details and permission to make automatic withdrawals and that didn't sit right with me like that just seemed like a yeah that's skeevy as fuck like you're supposed to be giving out of the goodness of your heart not a like a electrical what he doesn't even let netflix out of he's month to month baby every month emails in that money order you know what i'm sure this isn't the attitude they're going for but to me like if times got tight right like if something went wrong the the donations might be one of the first things that dry up you know that's probably the church says that should be the last thing that dries up but like you know when fucking mortgages need to be paid and people need to be fed and clothed and such the church might have to take a rest on on their you know a hand in my pocket and when they were

doing the sort of automatic deduction thing from my bank account i didn't sit right with me yeah they would always just pass the plate around and we throw uh you know we throw cash in there and uh and i i just remember thinking like you know i asked at one point, as a child, you know, how do we get the money to God? You know, as he show up and, like, the money just disappears like a tooth fairy type scenario. Or Sunday of the month. And my mom's like, well, this is, God doesn't get the money. That bald fucker up there who's telling all them lies does. Of course, that's not what she said.

She said, the preacher gets all the money. And I was like, you mean that guy up there with that nice suit that lives in that big house next door yeah him i think he's doing okay what what what's what's he doing with it well you know it pays his salary and uh and for you know all the the church materials i'm, when's the last time we saw a new Bible in here? It's not like he's, what, he needs to get volume two? Like, is there a new one coming out? We've been using the same hymnals for hundreds of years. Yeah, it's

not like we're, like, coming up with a... These hymns last a hundred years. Nobody's spitting out new hymns. It's like, alright, now we're handing out a... Once a month, you got 15 old ladies coming in here cooking up a bake sale to raise money where everybody's throwing in five or ten or twenty dollars a piece into this bucket and this and this fucker's getting up there and telling us

lies for two hours a week he's got a hell of a racket i that was the moment where i should have seen that the church of k Kyle could be a great thing. If I had started on that day, on that day, I would be established by now. You'd be. Oh, yeah. Forget flamethrowers. Who the fuck is the guy from Waco, Texas? Don't say David Koresh.

You'd be David Koresh by now. Don't say David Koresh. You'd be David Koresh by now, Kyle'd be David Koresh by now, Kyle. See, but that's the thing about the Church of Kyle. It would never work long term because one of the key tenets is... That's his beautiful moment. Don't say David Koresh. Yeah, no, I mean, obviously... I don't think you know much about David Koresh. Obviously your church is going to involve fucking everyone in the church in one way or another?

Allegedly. Until the fucking fence come in and ruin the church alive one thing in favor of church you're thinking of uh yeah yeah well the feds did that not koresh koresh was happy to just keep fucking he was burned along with them yes yes but he's not a burn he's not it was the government that did the burning koresh received the bird i felt like you were painting david koresh in a harsh light who was it that did the suit jonestown that's what it was nobody killed themselves that's not what kyle would do no no but there was a there's audio of him like talking to his congregation i suppose and like convincing them like yeah and make sure your kids drink this too you know you'll be with

them soon like you tell the kids to stop crying like you hear like children and women like weeping and crying and he's like tell everyone to stop crying just tell them it's you know it's medicine that they need and you'll be you'll all be together soon you'll all be together soon the term drink drink the kool-aid comes from you know because the poison was in no way it was in flavorade yeah that's that's why that's sort of synonymous with uh buying into a buying into sort of a lie or a scam when you once you drink the Kool-Aid, you're in. Who's saving money buying Flavor-Aid versus Kool-Aid

when you're putting it into a suicide beverage? Just spring for the name brand. You don't need it. I put it on my basket card. Where were you? Ooh, I bought it at a grocery store. 2% back.

Like, Where were you? Yeah, right? Ooh, I bought it at a grocery store, 2% back. I don't know. Religion just seems like such a horrible thing. The community that it provides is valuable, I think. Yeah, I agree. Like the whole thing, what he was talking about, wanting a community. A softball team provides, except you don't have to, you know, your money goes to equipment, and there's no threat of going to hell. And you get to get drunk.

Absolutely. In the middle of the game. If you drink at church, they frown on it, unless it's from their nasty ass cup that everybody else's lips are on. Yeah. Did you guys ever take communion? No, not, never did that. Maybe once, but I wasn't

part of it. But, you know, I think I saw that happen once. But, yeah, I wasn't part of that. I didn't want to. I've seen it. I was honestly, and I think it was grape juice, too, you know? Yeah, most, like, non-Catholic places do grape juice. But I remember doing it at Catholic Church, like, when I'd go there with family who was Catholic. at catholic church like when i'd go there with family who was catholic and like you walk up there to the the old ass priest and then he like you can either stick your tongue out or put your hand out

and i was shocked at how many people just stuck their tongue out for him to like place this wafer on and it's like that's disgusting yeah he's doing all that, and it's like, no, just right in the palm, thanks. I'll take the flesh of Christ back at my seat. Why is it? It sounds to me like in your head, it's much cleaner to receive it in your palm. But it's not.

There's just an extra hand in the transaction. But his hand, that's true. I didn't thought that, but I was just thinking like his hand is like at least touching a couple people's tongues. Like he's not like throwing it like a hibachi chef. He's like, hey, are you over there? I'm a little god for you.

So what you want is. I love church. You need everyone to be at the school of Taylor because as it is, you're just adding a hand to the mix. But if everyone took it in their hand, they wouldn't be part of the problem i get it i went to a jewish ceremony and i felt like the jewish people were way better at like they were way more inclusive you know it when it's time to receive the body of christ or whatever they're like no what do you take a seat back here you're not in our secret spy club right but if you go to the jewish church they're like yeah fucking you know like you want to wear a hat here's a hat for you join us and uh yeah yeah the yarmulke and they were handing out food

and like you want some yeah here's like an extraordinarily flat cracker it's all yours knock yourself out and uh you know and i know in my heart that like the jewish people are actually kind of closed ranks with regards to who gets actually considered to be a Jew. Right. You can become a real Catholic. They'll let you in the church. Right. You can go.

Yeah, I'm Catholic. Fine. Doors open. Right. But you can't become a Jew. Right. They're like, oh, no, you'll never be a real Jew. It's not the thing.

We're part race, not just religion. But if you go to the ceremony, they're much kinder. I don't think anything that you've said over the last two minutes is accurate i think it is i think it is i'm standing i'm sticking by it they don't but jewish people don't believe in jesus and so they wouldn't give you communion that's only it's not communion of course i'm not saying they give you actual communion but there was food involved and they were happy to share it oh it's been a while you can not an actual jew no they don't think of you the same way but there was food involved and they were happy to share it oh it's been a while i'm not jewish as well you can not an actual jew no they don't think of you the same way no no no no actually

what he's correct in this is that you can become jewish but it's not like becoming catholic like you walk into a catholic church and you're like hey can i be catholic and the priest is like it's friday get out of here like of course sure show up on sund? And the priest is like, it's Friday. Get out of here. Like, of course. Sure. Show up on Sunday. Yeah, I could do it from here. You have to go through way more. Like, if you want to be Jewish, you have to, like, put in time.

Even when you put in the time, you're only halfway in the club. I feel like this is being overlooked. Even when you become Jewish, you're only halfway in the club. You're not ever a true. I knowish you're only halfway in the club like not ever a true i know i know what you're saying like you'll never be looked at the same way as someone who has a jewish mother which is like the main check mark of are you jewish is your mom jewish okay then you're jewish like yeah yeah that's what i'm saying so anyway what food were you at a synagogue i think i remember having matzah no what the hell are their little crackers called that like don't rise oh yeah uh matzah is that what it is i feel like i'm mixing i live near quite a few or there's a lot of jewish people in the st louis area and so all the stores like grocery stores you walk into this time of

year there's tons of that shit all over the place yeah you know it's been so long i don't remember if the food was part of the ceremony or whatever but i really felt included it also probably helped that i was a kid you know like if you're i would have to be under 12 because i lived in that part of new jersey so if you're 10 years old and you're they're not like you know what's this guy doing you know keeping tabs whatever somebody burned their friend yeah i like I like the Jews. I think if I were going to be anything other than white, I would be a Jew. Again, Jews aren't white.

White has become a very exclusive group during my lifetime. It has been this way since... Ah, what do you know? The dawn of time. Well, in the last meeting, it was made very clear to us that the Jew is not a white man. And we are adding

the Irish back to the not white list. The ranks was running low and they got that Conor McGregor fellow and hell, he gives them whoop fur. I've seen him whoop Mexicans and Brazilians and he's a bad son of a bitch.

We're bringing him into the party. I don't know if he'd be a German dude. I'm going to be digging into the cold ground before I recognize the watch. Damn right. Gracious Sicilian. White was so much more selective where it was like you had to be basically English to be white.

Anglican. Yeah, Anglican. They would see Irish people and be like fucking irish there's an old poster i saw i have to find it on the internet from like the early 1900s that's like a shop looking for employees and it was like whites 10 cents a day blacks five cents a day irish need not apply yeah it's like they hated the irish but why like did the irish give them any reason were they bad employees were they like i wonder i feel like if the irish came in there they were the hardest working motherfuckers doing it for three cents a day whatever it was um that zero

cents a day need not apply oh oh oh uh callahan i went and you get the fuck out i feel like there's something going on there were they if they were just great employees capitalism would have made them get hired right you think so i don't i don't know what the driving i bet people in the uk have a better understanding of this because you know they're right over there next to ireland they probably think we're idiots and they might be on to something but they're definitely on yeah what is this Kyle please I don't know I'll tell you what Taylor why don't you listen to it privately and then I'll let you decide if this is if we could

play this on the show I don't know check for that because there's no music okay because it seems like movies are constantly oh if it's blazing saddles there's gonna be a lot of Rachel epithets I'm sure epithets, I'm sure. Epitaphs, I'm sorry. Wings catching on.

Hmm? Oh, I didn't watch the new clip show video. Yeah, we can play that. Blazing Saddles is a classic but it's only like 5 seconds long 8 seconds maybe there won't be any music oh there's no music yeah I made a list of my favorite movies or movies I thought

were worth watching on the subreddit a while back and Blazing Saddles was one of the ones I put it under westerns which is kind of cheating 3, 2, 1 play are we just kind of cheating sure three two one play all right we'll give some land to the niggers and the chinks but we don't want the irish oh well that's just common sense fucking great yeah if you've never seen blazing saddles fucking top top tier melbrook's movie oh never mind i was about to say, is it a comedy?

Because I kind of thought it was, but I don't recall it. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's the Mel Brooks drama, right? It's a very funny movie. Yeah, really funny. Like, western Mel Brooks. Mel Brooks plays a couple of parts in it. It's good shit.

Nice. Rap? Yeah, we can call it a show there. Man, I really enjoyed having Furious Pete on. Yeah, check him out. He was awesome. Yeah, go over there and let Furious Pete know that you enjoyed him, if you did. I'm sure you did.

Some guests pussy out. Some guests, you know, they try to keep up, but they don't manage. But, you know, Furious Pete described his shits for you. And he drank piss. And he drank piss for free. He's

Furious Pete for fourth host. I mean, I... Enjoy that onslaught of posts. Yeah, I know, right? That'll go on for a long time. Does anyone need any sponsors, Kyle? You know, just check out all of our sponsors.

They're wonderful. There are links down below in the description. SmartMouth, Squarespace, Stitch Fix, and Keeps. Very good. PKA 378. Have a good night.