Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #379

Episode Date: March 30, 2018

This week on PKA, Twitch streamer & fantastic troll, Kitboga joins the guys and they go over his hilarious performance trolling & wasting the time of terrible Indian tech support and IRS scams, the guys debate who would win in a fight between Joe Biden and Donald Trump and lastly we touch on UFC 223 that is coming up!

And we're live. Painkiller already, episode 379 with our guest Kit. Kyle? Yeah, a couple sponsors tonight. Casper Mattresses, Dollar Shave Club. We'll get to that later on in the show. Links below if you just can't wait. But yeah, we got Kit from his Twitch channel.

It's Kit Boga. I've been watching a good bit of it. Very good stuff. We're big fans of prank phone calls. But yours are a little bit different. Thank you, dude. You're sort of pranking scamsters, like scam artists, right? Yes. yeah.

From a range of IRS tax fraud type people to the tech support stuff that you've probably seen where they're like, you've got a virus on your computer. Do you talk to a lot of those like, there is a problem with your Windows account, and then you have to deal with that? Are they usually pretty resilient, those Indian fellas? Yeah, I think so because they're one

kick away from a sweatshop. They definitely there's a different dynamic going on and they seem to be fine with just lying about anything. Some of my favorite moments are when we can

insert anything we want into the conversation, and they're like, oh, yes, yes, absolutely. And you have no clue. Listen, honey, I need your credit card information. Please, honey. I was watching the other day. You had 20,000 concurrent viewers. I was just watching it skyrocket up.

You got crazy numbers. You're on the front page of Twitch. The people at Twitch definitely like what you're doing i think everybody does because i you know you're going after the worst of the worst these are the people who like prey on the old the the the ignorant you know people who don't really understand computers you know if you miss and i wanted to we were talking about this before the show i think this is taylor's question but i'll steal it how do you find the these these people these scamsters like you mentioned on the stream that sometimes if you type in a url incorrectly like a red page pops up and it's like call this

microsoft support number your computer has been locked etc etc how are the other ways that they insert their their scams and like what's the net they cast out yeah and it's always changing too which is interesting for me it's not like oh it's just one thing that happens every single time. One of the ways that they've done it too is they'll cold call you and they'll say your Microsoft activation key has expired. Or that's what the IRS folks do too. They say, we did an audit on your taxes and you're under arrest, basically. The IRS often threatens arrest over the

phone have you gotten those calls a lot of people yeah i've gotten those but it's not very convincing it's like i am with the irs and you are under arrest it's like you're in new delhi motherfucker i think they target they definitely target old people like for sure oh yeah people and i i imagine that's part of why i actually started is because my grandmother kind of had some of that type of stuff happen and you know you get flood when you're 80 years old and someone's telling you you barely understand taxes as it is and someone's telling you we did an audit and you're under arrest you might start to yeah yeah oh well i thought i was doing so well 87 years strong oh man yeah like let me dig that up from my file i said that once i was like oh let me pull up i

like opened my drawer and i'm like let me get my taxes out and they just click like oh this guy knows this guy's got his taxes in front of him yeah how do you keep them on the line without or i guess you're just giving them all bogus information but it seems like after a couple questions they'd like cut loose and try and find a real sucker yeah it depends it's it's definitely evolved since i got started so it's probably been i was trying to figure this out I got started. So it's probably been, I was trying to figure this out before the show. It's probably been a year that I've been calling them and nine or so months that I've been on Twitch. You're pretty technologically advanced with it though.

I saw you're using a virtual machine for them to remotely operate. You've got a burner debit card, credit card. A bunch of them, yeah card. Fruit to the bill. A bunch of them, yeah. Like this is the type of stuff. I'm just impressed his audio doesn't suck. Like that's what blows me away.

He does voices, old guys, women, whatever. He'll be throwing an accent and then the audio thing just makes it that much better. Me on the other hand, I don't want to talk about it. We're really struggling with audio video around here, okay? The combination of the two is a little bit much. We'd be fine with video. Well, of course.

Video is the most important aspect of a podcast. Yeah, if we could mine. It's tough. It definitely is, too. I have three monitors and then a fourth laptop when I have everything up. Oh, if more monitors would solve the problem, I would pick them up. No, please.

You just know that at this point, you've been doing it long enough that in that giant call center of Indians trying to scam elderly people, there's at least one dude assigned to watching twitch now it's who's have to be like yes screaming out hey koresh get off that line it's kid again right it's i think it's possible but it's not just i might be the only guy on twitch doing it but like there's other people that do this you've probably seen it on like youtube or different places so they get pissed i've noticed i it's it's i don't know how the the payment works for them how many rupees they get every time they bamboozle some

poor old man it's a signing away ten thousand dollars for remote computer access repair but it seems like they they really want it badly and that's the best part because you can push them to the limit and if they think there's a chance that 10 000 us dollars are about to get wired to them they just they just stick with it yes right it's like like i liked the one the other day where you were like i'm gonna mess this up you were like at a store pretending like you're on the phone with with raymond or something like that and you're like oh i just saw someone i know and they think i'm talking to raymond because I was pretending to. So you have to pretend to be Raymond. Okay, I'm going to hand this over to him.

And you just change the voice modulation from old lady to young girl. And you're like, hi, is this Raymond? It's been so long. I fucking love it. I wanted to talk about the voice modulation software or setup that you're using. What is that about? Because I'm interested in this now yeah for sure i i feel like i never answered an original question though so can i is it okay if i go back for a second yes yeah you had mentioned like how how

what lengths do they go to and how do i keep them convinced that i'm someone they can scam and so the virtual machine is definitely part of it and the voices is part of it we can talk about that uh but we do i do have just like tons of different personas and names and like before a call i'll just i'll start jotting down different addresses that lead to like the middle of nowhere or po boxes because i don't want to give like a real fun we have our own like pb like our own calling systems pbx stuff where we just buy blocks of numbers that aren't like some old lady in timbuk2 because if they sometimes they call back and they get angry and i'm like i don't want them i'm not going to use some other person's phone number right and wow i wouldn't have even thought of that yeah they get so one night on stream i was using a

number that they could call me back on because sometimes i don't give them i don't i use like non-working 555 stuff from the movies right where they can't call you back but one night this guy just would not stop calling me and it it was kind of funny but it was i was imagining some old lady who hangs up the phone and they just call back again and again and again and again but um then, so as far as the voice modulation stuff, uh, I don't use software. I tried a lot of different software. Uh, I use a Roland VT three it's called. It's a voice transformer. Yeah.

I'd look, Google it. It's not so much better than us. We used to call like transvestite prostitutes just to like get them on the show and ask them what's up but we'd use my personal cell phone number they'd call back the next day you know and i'm worried my life is gonna get funny you still interested yeah yeah and everyone was was looking at you funny. It's pretty cool. I think it was like $200 too.

There's so much more other things you can do, but it's not... Part of it though, so I'll say that... I don't know if I can do this. I could show you how I do the grandma voice. Part of it is talking too, right? The effect that I use, because you can have presets. so like the effect that i use because you can have

presets so this is the effect can you hear that yeah it's like a raspy and weird but if i'm just talking like this it doesn't sound like a grammar so i actually have i have to say like oh i'm doing the russian voice pecans i do like pecan sandies are my favorite thing to bake, you know? And so you have to kind of talk like... You have to talk like that the whole time that you're doing the grandma voice, and then it sounds... And now it's through like VoIP connection, right? So it sounds bad on their end anyway. Yeah.

And it works. That's hilarious. Your chin jutted out i have to i don't know oh i haven't had a phone call in weeks how am i going to afford my werther's originals now my bowl is empty and my grandchildren are on the way sometimes i just try to think of the most ridiculous things that my grandma or some grandma would say. A reoccurring theme is like I had to walk uphill both ways to school and wear bread bags as shoes in the snow. Just like weird stuff and they're like oh

yeah I totally understand. Oh, look at who has a school to go to. At least you have a toilet. That's crazy though. I've been in a repo with dead bodies. It's becoming a little more happening.

What other ones? What's your go-to favorite one? The old lady? Because that's the one you busted out? The old lady? Because that's the one you busted out? The old lady is, like, probably the most... I have, like, a three-and-a-half-hour record with her when I just spent three-and-a-half hours with a couple different tech support guys. And I think it's the most...

It's their target audience, right? That's who they want to scam is the old lady. But I like doing kind of this southern over-exaggerated kind of accent where i just i think that one's the most fun because i can just say like i'm a propane salesman right i said i'll sell propane and propane accessories right they don't get the reference no no that's that's the thing that's the thing like i there's so many jokes and memes and stuff i can even be like have you been you've been watching those dank maymays lately and they're like what they don't know what a

dank a dank meme it like they don't it's just like i just that old lady thing i never knew how true it was like that's a real problem uh people you don't know but our audience does my mother-in-law stayed with us for her last like year um and she died just after christmas or before anyway uh she would send money at the end to anybody she was so vulnerable like she'd just get a letter and be like oh you know that these some people who need money should i just send them some and it's like no no like that i just i am words like gullible or easily fooled aren't very nice we want your money nana scam artists i don't know how she got on these lists or what was happening

but god they're way i i didn't realize people got vulnerable like that oh yeah it seems like a smart move if you're a scammer is to like find out the number for like hospice care and then just ask for like old soundy names like is edith available i meant i meant i meant ruth i meant edgar i met ebenezer oh eenezer's there. Perfect. And then you talk to him. Oh, that's what I would do if I were in India. Taylor's working on his plan. Yeah. I mean, I've been in India. That's a pretty dope job.

You can do a decent Indian accent. Do you have any more tips, Taylor, on how to scam the infirmed? I don't know. I'll have to think through. I'm sure there are plenty. But I'm sure these Indians have figured them all out. From the Indian Revenue Service. Yeah, the Indian Revenue Service ir there you go irs they do the canadian revenue agency too and the other

day i answered and i thought it was an irs number because someone submitted it to me um i think you guys asked how i get the numbers too and i never fully answered that either but some people do submit them now that the that the channel's grown they'll say hey my grandma got this call or whatever and someone i thought it was an irs call and i answered and they said i didn't hear him say canadian revenue agency and i i said i have a problem with my taxes i guess what happened and they said well the canadian revenue agency did it and i cut them off and i said no i'm i'm in the united states and they were like no you're under arrest by the canadian government and i'm like i don't live in canada like i wasn't trying to sell i wasn't trying to sell this lie that i was a canadian i i was blatantly saying i don't

live in canada and then they just kept going and halfway i'm like you know what that's fine you can see the mountains you know how you know that that wasn't the canadian revenue service you're like no i'm in the United States. I'm in like, oh, man, this is humiliating. I'm getting off the floor. I'm so sorry. So sorry for the inconvenience. That's not a bad accent.

Taylor's great accent. Canadians are pretty easy. But it's easy to like, do you find that it's hard to stay in a lane with an accent? Because I feel like after a couple minutes, you just become a caricatureature and then you're like talking like fire ghoul and like doing ridiculous exaggerate but i guess they're indian and so they're not gonna or most of them are i'm assuming they're all indian what percentage of them are actually watch it um most of most of them all of them i mean so the way i word it you is i is I call the number on the pop-up, right? I call the number that was submitted to me.

I never know who's going to answer, but 99% of the time it has been someone over in India, or at least it sounds like that. And I mean, I asked some friends who have relatives in India, so I have a programming software dev background and I have some friends who like their wives are from India and they go there to visit family and stuff and they've mentioned that it's really easy for them to just spool up a call center over there and this like students who can't find a job that call center that's scamming people often is paying three four times the amount

that some other call center is and they don't necessarily know what they're getting into at first uh sometimes i'm like how do you not know but they know what they're getting in maybe they don't know the conversion rate maybe they think that nine thousand dollars to an american is no big deal maybe it's tough because some so the Guardian, I don't know if I have the article. The Guardian did this article a while back. It's like a couple months back about how these students would actually go to like a job, a headhunter type situation where they're saying, we're going to place you in a job a headhunter type situation where they're saying we're going to place you in a job and they would show up and they'd actually pay money to this headhunter and potentially even be scammed themselves by the headhunter and just tell them hey we found a great placement for you

in a microsoft call center or an irs call center so they interviewed this one student who got a job at the IRS call center. And he was told, we are being out, like, the United States government is outsourcing stuff to us. And you're going to get a list of people to call who owe money on their taxes. And if they get angry, or sorry, if they get sad and sound like they want to go through with this, transfer them to me because I'm a specialist or whatever. And it wasn't until later they realized, no, I'm definitely not working for the United States government. So it's a tough situation, I feel like. That's awesome. These really seem like the worst kinds of people, whether their intent is that or not. They're preying on the old. They're preying on the old they're paying on the gullible the the perhaps not you know and people in the bet not the best of their wits anymore

and uh and i love seeing you not only embarrass them and make a mockery of them but waste hours sometimes of their time it's fucking great and and the the california girl voice what's her name uh nevaeh yeah that's great it's heaven spelled backwards yeah she has like 47 instagram followers no i always like that's the thing is i try to be careful but like we we usually overdo it like any like i do like try to do like little russian voice and i know i used to watch fps russia stuff i know you can do a way better but i sometimes i'm like i find myself getting lost in all these weird russian things and i'm like I hope I'm not offending someone by saying this.

You know, like sometimes you do. I never thought that would be a thing, but I was at E3 one year and this lady walked up to me. She was like 38 years old and she starts speaking. She's with her son who's like 13 or something and she starts speaking Russian to me and I'm like,

character? Character? And she got red-faced and so angry and belligerent like like she didn't speak English she yelled at me in Russian which is terrifying and she was just all red-faced and really animated with her arms and there was pointing and I was just like looking for a way to get the fuck out of there. It was very scary. Yeah. Comfortable. Yeah. Yeah.

She took a real risk coming up to you and just talking, or speaking in Russian, rather. Yes, she did. It's a very good accent, but she had to have kind of known. Like, when you watch Kyle's videos, he'll be like, and now we're going to fire the FCSDX fire balloon challenge, or some shit. And then, like, you'll do it. And you'll, like, the regular Kyle laugh will come out where you'll be like, ah, very impressive.

I'm telling you, this is a common, like, I don't even bring it up, but it's a common misconception that, like, everybody knows. No. Millions of people to this day, millions, don't know. Like, it doesn't matter that I do this show. It doesn't matter that, like, you saw a news article about Kyle. It doesn't matter what you saw. There are so many millions of them. There are still millions of them who have no idea.

None at all. So I see that, oh, everybody knows. Or, like, everybody knew six years ago. Like, no. You and a very small group of people in the Call of Duty community knew. But there are millions more who still think that Dmitry Potapov is a real person, he is in Russia, probably working with Spetsnaz, killing infidels. He's still out there doing his work.

His army has called him away. They don't know. Doing work. That's fair enough, because I have introduced your videos to enough of my friends. I'm like, hey, do you know that guy who pretends to be Russian on the internet and shoots guns? And they're like, well, I know of a Russian guy on the internet who shoots guns. Like, ah, no, he's from Georgia. They're like, no, you mean Georgia, like next to Ukraine?

And they're like, no, no, the one next to, you know, fucking Florida. Yeah, I've gotten that definitely before. I remember once the, I don't remember what guy it was, we were talking to this gun manufacturer or whatever, wanting to go play with some of their shit, and the guy was like, I don't want to work with no goddamn commie. And my friend was like, no, no, no,

he's from Georgia. And he's like, fuck, they're all the same over here. Goddamn. They were part of a Soviet bloc. Don't you know your history, bro? He's like, no, no, Atlanta, Georgia, the home you know your history, bro? No, no. Atlanta, Georgia, the home of Jeff Foxworthy. Okay? You've got to get on board here.

Jeff Foxworthy. All right. I'll hear him out. All right. Now you're speaking my language. All right. All right. Oh, that's great.

So, like, what's the furthest you've ever had to push the call to get someone to finally end it because I bet there have been times where you're like I don't know what else I can do to spell this out that this is that this guy's being fucked with that's probably the most ridiculous reverse speedruns trying to keep it going yes but there are times where so the other day I've been doing a lot more streams

I've been streaming during the day some because the IRS scammers are only open during the day and like normal kind of business hours for the states right whereas the tech support people are open seems like almost all the time but um so i gave him my i have to scratch off my you know uh google play card because of course that's a government approved way to pay your tax of course it is. Of course. And we've got all kinds of weird, like, folly kind of sound effects where, like, I have a guitar pick, and I'll just, like, scratch my desk.

You know? All right. So the way I did that, I said the numbers are, like, SC4M3. I basically spelled out Scammer Confirmed in, like in like elite speak and he didn't get it he was like this card's invalid all right let me try this again and so i did something else like stop scamming bro and he didn't get and eventually i'm like dude i'm telling you scam confirmed like i'm telling you i know you don't work for the ir and just kept, it was like he didn't quite, he kept trying to sell the lie that, no, no, I work for the government.

And I'm like, you just, you don't, I couldn't really reveal to him. But yeah, it's nuts. You got to feel kind of bad a little bit. Like they probably don't know how shitty it is, what they're doing. Because like, I think it was Woody who said earlier, like maybe they don't think that $9,000 for an American

is a lot of money, or Kyle said that maybe. That makes sense. If you told me, hey, call this Indian guy and ask for 1,000 rupees, I don't know what that is. I guarantee it's not very much, though. So I should have, you know, a million rupees. It's like 165 to 1 is the exchange rate, I think. Is the rupee Russian, though no no that's a

it's close i got it confused the first few times too thank you yeah no i think you're i i do get real conflicted because i mean i care i sometimes i try to remind myself they're people and like i've done some messed up stuff too like i've done silly things in the past that i wish i didn't do and i'm like okay but the other day this guy told granny edna she was just wasting his time i pretended to fall down the stairs watch a highlight at some point i want to see you yeah yeah i've got a whole list here whatever we want to get to it um and you know because she told me I was in New York City, right? And I had to go. And it was at the time there was like a snowstorm.

And he's like, you got to go to the I always say I'm going to the Piggly Wiggly, even though it's not in New York City. They don't know. Yeah. So I'm falling down the stairs and I'm making all these like thudding noises. And I get on the phone. I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm trying to sob a little bit. Like, I'm sorry.

It's going to take a little bit longer. And he he was like just screaming at the top of his lungs like you have to go now or you're going to die and at that point i lost like i couldn't i couldn't hold character because i was so angry like and just you're telling an old lady to die to me it's one thing to try to say you're from the ir me, it's one thing to try to save you from the IRS, and it's one thing to be willing to scam someone, but then to threaten some poor old lady. Granted, I was messing with him. But still, at that point, I broke character, and I wanted to punch the screen. But instead, I was like,

really? You're going to tell an old lady to die? And he hung up right away. His punishment is that he lives in India. Oh, yes. Maybe. I kind of want to see you do a little child's voice and look for pedophiles. Now, that's taking it to the next level. We had Chris Hansen on the show before,

and those were fascinating talks with him about hunting the pedophiles and what to catch the predator. I would fucking love that. Now, that is really stepping things up a notch. That's when, like, your audience is like, all right, we just reported him to his local sheriff's department. They're en route. Like, that would really step things up several notches. Yeah.

I would be a little nervous. I would be a little nervous. So some people have submitted, I guess, a new scam that's going on with a lot of the dating websites, which I'm staying away from with a 10-foot pole, is that they will chat with you and pretend to be a girl or who knows what, some attractive girl that you'd want to chat with, whatever. And then all of a sudden they start sending you like illegal, like child porn. Right. I was wondering where this was going.

Like, why would he stay away? Yeah. Then of course you immediately like hang up, whatever, hang up, delete your contacts, whatever. The next day, some dude from India calls you and says, I'm with the FBI and we know what you were doing yesterday. And they try to tell you, they try to get money from you one way or another because, you know, you were doing yesterday and they try to tell you they try to get money from you one way or another because um you know you were doing something it'll be fbi that's what the fbi does if you get caught with child porn is they go five thousand dollar wire transfer and this whole thing goes away like of course not but at first i was like huh that's pretty scummy like i, I call scammers.

Maybe I could call them. But then I'm thinking, first, like, I do not want to be anywhere near, you know, those pictures, especially live streaming. Like, obviously that would be, because I'd have to, like, yeah. Yeah, they'd probably charge you for dissemination or something. You'd get a phone call from the actual FBI. No, this is Edna. This kid's not here. No, this is Edna. This kid's not here.

Have you ever thought about getting a voice modulator for like a child voice? And then you could call people who you suspect to be pedophiles? I've never even thought about the pedophile thing. Turn them in? I've never thought about it. He's just repeating what I just said. Oh, sorry he did my bad i missed that i thought you were just really excited about the questions well i was really excited about the question my bad i've done a voice uh who is these personas kind of take on you know like there's a bad there's lore behind them right so granny edna has a grandson actually two grandsons named tyler i don't know why but tyler has called before

because i can just pitch shift my voice um i so like you can just sort of start slowly pitching pitching my voice up i assume you guys hear my pitch yeah yeah changing so i've called before and just said like my minecraft is broken i don't i don't know what to do and and like i can't i can't mine enough diamond to save my life or whatever and and then they kind of like well let me connect your computer and and eventually though they usually back off because they realize this kid probably isn't gonna have a credit card or this kid's probably not gonna go into your mother's wallet right one of them and that's what i'll say is i'll be like i gotta go get my dad's wallet and then they're for whatever reason suddenly they

are like oh uh maybe we shouldn't you know do this and i don't know about the pedophile thing it's i personally wouldn't do it but i'd watch you try all right oh thank thank you cool cool see see you would i would do it because because i like this because you're you're not gonna if you do it from the point of view where you're the child and you're luring an adult then they're not gonna send you any child pornography they might send you a they might send some other things they might they might and that's possible but you're not gonna send you anything illegal because that would be you know that that would be the worst i think that if someone's chatting on the phone with a child about something sexual they've passed that barrier of we're being worried about illegal shit right like what would stop them from sending something

else because they're already in for a pound with being a pedophile because it wouldn't be effective right like if i'm trying to pick up uh you know nine-year-old boy for example i can't send him naked pictures of nine-year-old boys that's not what they're looking for sure that's true i was thinking more like dick pics yeah would that even work though like but then he wouldn't want to talk with candy or like we're not talking about actually luring a child we're just talking about what they do yeah what like i feel like you've gotten far too into the mind of the pedophile you're like this isn't gonna work i'm just saying like you know if you're trying to one little boy you show him your video game collection first right like when he sees my Minecraft server,

believe me. Yeah, you're not going to get dick pics. You're going to get a bookshelf full of Xbox games. That's true. Like, Woody, when you almost got molested as a kid, when that guy was like, I have a dope stereo, if he had said, you want to see my cock? You'd have been like, no. No, I thought you had a stereo.

I was really taken by the audience. If that's part of the deal, I guess, you know, maybe. Yeah, I'd just be too nervous. Like, sometimes the IRS folks will do, with Nevaeh, they think she's some young, attractive female. And they couldn't be more wrong. And they get a little creepy. And, like, the one guy was like like what i would do for a night in bed with you or something and i'm immediately i'm like okay this is uncomfortable this is weird

because i i just i don't have it in me maybe to like string them along in that way and just do weird weird weird stuff like that um it just immediately gets real awkward and then chat of course is like oh, what is happening? That's our bread and butter around here, making people naturally uncomfortable. We've done prank phone calls before. We've had a few good ones. I called a guy one time that was selling Playboy magazines, and I think I did the Russian voice. And I was like, how can I get a discount?

What if I came over there and we took a bubble bath? Think I could get a discount on that? He's like, well, I'm a man. I was like, oh, yeah, I realize. He's like, well, I'll get the water poured. He's pouring the bubble bath. He's waiting on me to come over for the – there was a guy selling Muhammad Ali gloves. They were signed by Muhammad Ali, and they were $750.

And I was like uh how about this how about i pay you 150 and you beat the shit out of me wearing those gloves while i jerk off how about that he's like no no they're 750 i don't want to buy like i want you to put them on and beat me up while i jerk off don't you want he's like get the fuck out of here you weirdo fucking weirdo well you just like messing what you like messing with people just push it to the max right i really want to make them uncomfortable yeah i think my so my wife has sometimes has a hard time like watching or even the clips because she's like you know sometimes when stuff is awkward or uncomfortable some people

like just kind of stay away from especially with the nudes folder thing. Like you guys may have seen, I have this folder on my virtual machine that's titled Nudes. And there may be a clip that I sent you guys, but it has, should I spoil it? Yeah. Can we watch that one? Like, would you just link one? And we can watch that one for sure. But could you link us that one? I think I did, but let me find it for you guys.

Yeah, so it's full of naked mole rat pictures. So like as Nevaeh or as whoever, all of a sudden they'll just be like, wait, what is this? And you'll see their mouths hover over it and like, maybe not. Maybe. And then all

of a sudden there's naked mole rats, and I think it's hilarious. That is hilarious. You should have like all sorts of naked themed pictures like mole rats, pictures of Leslie Nielsen from the Naked Con. Yeah, I tried doing a folder called boobies

and did blue-footed boobie like the birds, but for some reason they never clicked on the boobies folder. They just went right for the nudes specifically. I'm trying to find it for you guys. Yeah. I'll send it at some point here. This is hilarious what you're doing.

I really like it. The actual effort of voice modulation makes it so fucking funny. When you first tried the the old lady uh voice like before you modulated it correctly i'm like oh that's not believable but then right hearing it again i'm like oh fuck that's that's pretty believable like some dude in india is gonna be like that's probably someone what some old white lady sounds like yeah maybe it kind of evolved because after like when i first started doing it i would just use my voice like this or i would um do like the jebediah i call them jebediah but like a kind of southern

accent and and sometimes they would start to recognize me like one guy just all of a sudden you know one day was like i know you you mother effer like it's like hang up the phone and just like slam you know slam the phone down and i was kind of like i gotta do something different you know i gotta get get some new voices or else they're gonna all start to recognize me you're gonna go through every scammer in india maybe yeah i feel like phone calling has gotten more difficult over the years as technology is advanced and everyone doesn't have necessarily like a home phone where they're regularly receiving calls so now when you get a when you get a call on your cell phone you don't know the number it's your your guard is already up i think that's one of the clips by the way sorry sorry yeah let's let's watch this clip

all right remembering remembering we queue up at 0 and then we hit play together so 3 are you ready I can be yes hold on one second 1.3 million look at this related video of this chick's ass Spanish Sunday stream

hola amigos careful on twitch that's okay if you're a girl okay i'm ready three two one playing to steal your information from a computer sir because you are not having a protection on a computer okay but where are they from because i have like i have a lot of people from from like you know, from like Russia, you know? Maybe that is... Okay, because... He clicked it! He clicked it!

He's going through the whole album. Why are you looking at my nude folder? Like, that is very private. at my nude folder. Like, well, it is very private. That's fucking hilarious. It doesn't even... I think at the end, and it could be a different clip,

I was like, well, what do you think? And the guy was just... He just lost it. I'm a breeder. Yeah, yeah. Oh, jeez. Can we watch the other one

while we're group watching? The girl's ass? Because I'm subscribed. The one that I linked. All right, let me see which one you sent. All right, I'm going to the other one. I'm sorry. Kyle's a little distracted.

Fuck. She does that bit where she's like, are you donated? Let me just bend over and put your name on this marker board. I don't like that bit. Oh, please. All right. I like that bit. I mean, it might make me a little

gay for not liking it. I just, it's over the top and obvious and uncreative. I have nothing invested in the integrity of Twitch, so I'm in favor of it. Just show me your ass. You're literally a whore.

At the end of the day, you can watch real porn for free and she'll get all the way naked and you don't have to donate three dollars to be patronized by some you know 19 year old have you ever used a uh i i'm almost positive the answer is no but have you ever used a cam girl who you like donate to and like a private oh you made that face like i asked if you ever went to a donkey show i thought you're asking if i do the girl blows the donkey you're like no well yeah but like but the the cam girl thing like it it you would just feel too much like you were being exploited or like she's clearly not interested she's not going to do anything as interesting as you could find for free

on a million sites and you'd have to keep paying her money every time you wanted to do one more little thing i don't want to interact with her that seems like like suddenly i have work to do like that's not the deal we're signing up for no no you you perform and i observe i think that the guys who do this and the answer is no i i haven't done this either but i listen what listen howard stern show obviously and jd one of the contributors on there he had a bit of an addiction he was spending thousands of dollars a month like with these with particular cam girls and he had like crazy stuff that he'd make them do or ask them to do or they do for him however you want to look at it. And he sort of had like a, you know, how people have like Xbox girlfriends

or something like online girlfriend type relationship with this girl who he's paying thousands of dollars to like talk, as Wings of Redemption would say, conversate with, and while watching them masturbate or like do some crazy shit. You know, I believe one of the girls he had had her dog going down on her. I think that was one of the girls he had was lick had her had her dog going down on her i think that was that was one of the the things he was uh he was paying for um yeah good times on the howard stern show but no all right let's dive into this was there like peanut butter involved or like i believe they quizzed him on that but um i don't recall you

know what what was used to lure the dog. Look, you'll have to handle this on your own free time, Woody. If you're trying to make this happen, I don't have any tips for you. What good are you then? I mean, you know how you already get the feeling of like,

who am I? When you finish watching even wildly weird porn. Just regular porn that you're watching. Free stuff. And then you finish watching like even a wildly weird porn like just regular porn that you're watching free stuff and then you're like finished and you're like oh man i've been doing this for half an hour what a waste of time what am i doing and you just feel that little tinge of shame how much worse is that tinge of shame after you get off a cam girl and you realize oh no i'm 110 out of pocket and she's just you know laughing at some dope who got taken advantage of like that's gotta be it's gonna be a terrible post-cum feeling it's a thing in the

porn industry where a lot of the well-known porn stars aren't fucking dudes on camera anymore because they make so much money by doing this cam girl stuff by just being on camera in front of guys like masturbating or maybe fucking like their boyfriend or whatever they're making an outrageous amounts of money just doing that like on they can do it yeah various sites some of them have their own sites and there's there's dozens of many sites like there's so many which one? They have these horrible people on them. I've never been to Chatterbait. Is it just an entire site of cam girls, I would assume? No, right now.

Let's see what's on the front page of Chatterbait. They organize it by, I don't know, women, couples, and... Is there a guys page? So it definitely... I've actually... I've never been either, so it definitely is geared towards that. This is going down live? Wow. Wow, they've got a hell of a show going on here on the front page. They've got a... They've got two chicks and... Oh! What?

Which one are you looking at? The... The Zoe Cum show. Where on the Matrix? It's top left. So you have a transsexual man, basically a person with a penis and breasts, fucking a girl while a second girl

manually assists them both. It's going down live right now. And there are, let's see how many people are watching this. So is it like the, it's like a... 12,600 users watching down live right now. And there are, let's see how many people are watching this. So is it like the, it's like a... 12,600 users watching this live right now. It's like a Twitch for porn then? Yes. It's like live.

And do people chat with each other while they're watching or no? Yeah. Because that feels really weird to me. Like people are chatting as a community watching this, is what you're saying. That guy is supposed to be trans, right? Yeah. Okay. That guy is. Supposed to be trans right. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Listen I know enough about spooky links. I'm not clicking that. I'm not clicking that. Wow. I don't go to Chatterbait. I didn't realize that they had 13,000 people. Watching some kind of crazy fantasy show. That's insane to me.

Yeah. Although Ice Poseidon had like 40 000 people watching him uh use the hitachi on that porn star that time so i guess maybe that's small beans over there i wonder what they can see in the reflection of my play button nothing good you know thank you ah they just went private oh damn what do you do you have to like pave now probably is it like a paywall it's the opposite it's that someone was like yo here's here's a hundred dollars let's me and you three go in a private room i got some shit that i need you to do all right first you're gonna need you need two cans of vaseline right a little you're gonna need you're gonna need a small godzilla toy alleline right a little you're gonna need you need a small godzilla toy all right a baseball bat a goat skin half a pound of gunpowder now kyle comes through

with the details where were you three minutes ago you'd be good at the the scam calls because you just make that's exactly what i do you just come up with ridiculous things and yeah and that's it i enjoy doing doing stuff like that um in a slight change of topic did you see that they the the bot the austin almost said boston bomber it rhymes the austin bomber uh blew himself up and was you know is no more did you did you see that great news yeah yeah i heard about that the other night yeah younger than I expected. 23. Yeah. He had been mailing packages all around the Austin, Texas area and blowing people up. He even set one up via tripwire on a sidewalk and really injured some people.

Do we know how they caught him? Yeah. We should just lay this out. The SWAT team was closing in on him, and he kind of blew himself up as a suicide so like when I first heard he blew himself up I thought maybe he was making bombs and it was an accident yeah they're like oh this this perhaps this explosion site is where the guy was making but no the the SWAT team was like they pretty much had him and he killed himself with a bomb yes so the way they caught him was uh they went to the vet he went into fedex to mail some of the packages uh and so they go to the security cameras in fedex and

an old man walks in clearly like 65 years old with like shoulder length white hair and a baseball cap and a flannel shirt that's him in disguise best disguise ever but they just like you know they're like all right well he walked in the store at let's just say 3 p.m so let's go across the street look at that camera at 3 p.m see what it sees so they find his car get his license plate track that to him his actual identity track that to his cell phone track him via his cell phone close in on him and that's all she wrote it's always shocks me when they do actually good police work because Because I talked about this a few weeks ago, but when I got swatted, we actually found the guy's gamer tag.

And the detectives were like, eh, you know, we're at a dead end. Sorry, Mr. Woodworth, I don't have enough Microsoft points to complete this investigation. How are we supposed to find BigTittyLover69? It could be anyone. complete this investigation how are we supposed to find big titty lover 69 it could be anyone yeah like i had a video of them bragging about swatting me and it was like well here's a lead and uh they're like oh yeah his name was bunny something or other like bunny lover i don't know and yeah they're just like like oh my god you guys suck like if it gets to be online at all

then they were worthless. Yeah, it's like it's in Pakistan. I often wonder about that because if local police departments have, they should have, I'm thinking, it's 2018, someone who understands the online world and is, I I guess staying in touch

with all of this stuff because it's so easy now to like, you can go online and type in burner email, right? Or burner phone, whatever it is. You can just be somewhat anonymous pretty easily. And do some of these things.

I don't think they'd properly utilize that guy in police forces. They'd be like, Officer Allen! My mouse isn't working! Yeah. An underpaid IT guy. Yeah, that's what he would end up... He was picturing himself being like, you know,

swordfish. Something like that where he's doing hardcore hacking. No, he's spraying crumbs out of some obese traffic cops keyboard doesn't that like like on a cop level like don't you get like a little tinge of like oh shit like when you see a cop that's like at an event like guarding and they are morbidly morbidly obese you're like if shit's going down it's going to be over by the time this guy gets there like that's not a joke like you know i always say i feel like cops should

be making eighty thousand dollars a year not because i think that the cops we have right now deserve eighty thousand years but eighty thousand a year but because it would bring in a whole new much more qualified group of people the level more than that kyle not no not like a no like like city cops are barely making minimum wage they pay to walk they have to wash their own cars and pay for their and do their own car repair it depends on the precinct yeah yeah no like i like people from my i have you know i'm on facebook so i'm like oh you know i wonder what this guy pulls in you look it up like you know ocean city cops where i came from not, you know, Ocean City Cops, where I came from. Not the, you know, entry-level pay, but you're like, by the time they're 40, they're making $100,000, $120,000 a year. They're a detective, maybe?

They're, like, whatever. I'm thinking, like, the ones that are actually protecting and serving us, you know, like the street cops who are driving around on cruisers. All right, so the average as of March 1st, 2018, for a police patrol officer is 52,902. All right, so that's never been promoted, right? That's what it sounds like, you know? Yeah, I don't know the difference. The guy that Kyle's talking about. I guess I was just thinking cops in general, right?

Because by the time they're up a rank or two and standing in the front of the room, they're making six digits it seems well georgia isn't the bottom quintile of police salaries by state according to zippia yeah i only have like my my cop buddies to go on and they're always just like this is horseshit what i just said is like literally true like that my buddy was like yeah i fucking ran over a rock chasing a guy down the other night guess who's having to fix the bumper on my car me he's like i'm like i was like can you come over saturday you know we're gonna we're gonna shoot some target shooting we're gonna shoot some skeet we're gonna barbecue he's like no i gotta go in and wash cruisers i was like well what do you get paid to wash fucking cars he's like oh they don't pay us for that we're just being forced in to wash the wash our own cars yeah pain in the ass

yeah well tell them to move to illinois because they'll make 74 000 a year in jersey they get misbehaving teenagers to wash the cars ask me how i know and then uh and uh i had a second point oh but they do have to do unpaid stuff but it's usually like parades and things oh yeah funerals interesting i guess there's worse jobs but oh yeah i want to harness your trolling abilities to troll a friend of ours oh my god i know where this is going do you have a like a structure in your head already planned kyle well it to say it kind of like you know gets rid of this bullet but he has that he claims he has a property in johnsonville right we could call as the irs and say that you know he he has unpaid taxes on this property in Johnsonville

and we're going to scoop it up. Or we could call and be like, same thing, but it's trailer, right? He'd really start sweating bullets if we told him that he had unpaid taxes because I don't know exactly how it's working out, but I think his mom's probably paying the taxes because she owns the place, right? He gives her the money and then she pays the taxes. So you could really get him in a tizzy

if you told him that you were going to come take the property away from him or something. Just don't get caught impersonating an IRS officer. Oh, is that a crime? I would assume. Sounds a little crimey. If he got actually upset, he may be like,

someone's pretending to be a police officer and your irs officer that's true yeah i didn't even think about that i think it's probably a crime to impersonate anyone on the phone right and try to get money out to like extortion to we're not gonna we're gonna try to extort it we're're going for rage, right? We want him to get mad and freak the fuck out. I don't actually want Wings to send me his money. I just want him to yell, look here, look, listen at me. That would be amazing. Look here, look, listen.

I paid my taxes every year. All $2,000 worth. Excuse me, sir, because that is just not adding up he'd end up he'd end up like filing a complaint against me and then the actual irs would look into it and he would have actually not paid his taxes and he'd lose the trade like that's what ended up happening i opted into the flat fee you know i just pay mama three thousand dollars a year and i'll take it care of. No, you don't understand.

I'm not going to take Social Security. I'm all good. I used to listen to this guy growing up called Roy D. Mercer. That was his alias that he used to prank phone call people. It was really this guy named Phil and this guy named Brent in Tulsa, Oklahoma. They had a radio show. It was a big radio show. And they were sort of prank callers for hire,

like assassins for hire. Like people would come to them and be like, oh, you've got to get my Uncle Billy. He's got the worst temper ever. If you call him and like get him going, he's going to blow up on you. And sure enough, like their calls almost always end with like, well, we've got to fight now, you know,

because this guy is like, this is roy d mercer uh we's driving past your trucking company the other day one of them trucks pulled right out in front of my wife and god dang if well she had these two parrots in the car and them cages flew hit the dashboard and both of them graveyard dead graveyard dead in parrots fourteen hundred dollars a piece and oh wow i'm sorry so sorry all Well, by God, I'm going to need $2,800 out of you. Well, you're not getting any money out of me. That's absolutely not happening. Well, somebody might have to get an ass whooping then. Just how big a boy are you? The guy will be like, I'm about 6'2", 200 pounds.

Well, that's just rap ass whooping size. Someone's not familiar with bird law. But yeah, Roy D. Mercer. We would buy the CDs at the store and me and my dad, when we'd go hunting and stuff, we'd listen to those things nonstop. There's so many of them.

They'd all end with a threat of whooping somebody's ass. And then after a while after you listen to them, there was kind of what you've got going'd all end with like a threat of whooping somebody's ass and then after a while after you listen to them there was kind of what you've got going on there's like a whole group of characters like his fictional son's name is raymond and his fictional daughter's name is leticia uh there was one where he calls a pharmacist and his wife has broken off a uh a thermometer in his son's ass it's broken off and he's like well it said it was for for anal use and and rectal use and and by god it's broke off up in there and we got these doctor bills and i'm gonna come down there and somebody might need an ass whooping and the pharmacist starts getting

scared he's like oh sir that's there is no need for that you don't have to come down here we i'm sure we can work this out he's he's like, well, I'm going to need some doctor bills paid for. Well, maybe we can do that. So did he end up explaining it at the end? Yeah, yeah. At the end, he's like, well, you can make the check right out to my lawyer. His name is Jimmy Smith. And Jimmy Smith will be the person who's getting pranked's wife or husband. Oh, they know. He'll throw these clues in there repeatedly until they're like. Oh, they know. He'll throw these clues in there repeatedly until they're like,

I know a Jimmy Smith. That's my husband. What the hell's going on here? And then they start cracking up and laughing on the other end, and they get the joke and everything. That's usually the crescendo of the whole prank phone call. I've always loved prank phone calls.

We used to do them as kids. As soon as we learned how to block our phone number we were we were fucking with people just going crazy i never really did it as a kid never really did prank phone calls yeah i didn't do that as a kid either like i when i was a kid like it was always like tp'ing or something like that that we would go out and do and even then it wasn't that much that often or that much fun you know because at the end of the day it's like all right well and home we go like did you ever fork someone's yard you ever done that one? Fork? I never did. So you can buy an enormous box of plastic forks, like 1,000 of them for like $10 or something.

And they go and they stick the forks all in somebody's yard, just stick them in there, because then the person has to go out there and pick them up one by one. That usually goes hand in hand with TPing somebody's yard, which is rolling toilet paper over their house and trees if anyone doesn't know, or are egging their house,

which I did a bit of egging you know growing up the pranks where it takes as much effort to prank as it does to unprank seems silly like like ever fill up 15 000 dixie cups worth of water and put it in someone's front yard no no i've never done that be pranking me yeah all right guys from wednesday night to sunday we're gonna fill up dixie cups and then from monday to tuesday you know overnight we'll keep placing them and it's like who are you like who are you really getting because he'll just go on the sweeper and knock them all over and then brush it into the trash like we had a dispute with a guy one time and uh uh i won't go into what the dispute was exactly because that might be identifying, but he had an immaculate lawn.

Okay, like I think he had sod put down and it was just beautiful, lush and green. And we went there one night with two sprayers full of Roundup and just sprayed the whole yard with Roundup, which is extreme herbicide. It kills anything and everything. And so like a week goes, like days were going by, and we kept driving by, and it's still lush. It's still green. We were like, ah, maybe it was diluted or old or something. I don't know.

I thought it was the good stuff. And then on like the eighth day or something, we go by, and it looks like Fallout 4. It looks like just a nuclear landscape. Everything is brown and dead and and we got such a kick out of that that that didn't feel bad though because it like sod cost what fifteen thousand dollars of damage you did i don't know i was a kid i don't know i was a kid i know what sod cost as a. Although we did go on that field trip to the sod farm.

We had the worst field trips. He had it coming, though. He needed it. A friend told me, like, where he grew up, there was, like, a one-way, just a little bridge over a river, and it was pretty little, and one night they, like,

chopped a tree down and put it across the bridge and lit it on fire or something as a prank. And then quickly realized like that was a very bad prank and the police are after him and all this stuff. Are we domestic terrorists now? Yeah, right. Yeah, prank's gone wrong. It's a fun prank where you take someone's purse in public and then you hide it from them and wait.

Remember that one from, what was that hockey movie with the kids? Mighty Ducks? Mighty Ducks, where they took the purse with like a dollar hanging out of it, and then filled the rest of it with dog shit in the bag, so the people would come up, snatch the purse, and then reach in and get a handful of dog shit.

I guess that sort of inspired, in a way, the YouTube prank known as The Shit Dollar. Have you seen The Shit Dollar pranks, Taylor? Oh, I've watched the Poop Dollar multiple times. I love the Poop Dollar. So there are variations of the Poop Dollar or the Shit Dollar, whatever you will. Let me interject.

I'm not okay with the human Poop Dollar. Those are the variations. It has to be a dog poop. Oh, no. I only watch if there's human feces being used. Is that different? Oh yeah. Well, what dogs eat is exactly what you give them. But humans, you know how your shits vary day to day depending on what you eat? Sure. It could be a disaster.

A human shit is going to smell way worse than a dog who's just been eating the same slightly different coloration of pebbles that you give them. And which would you rather grab a fistful of, Woody? I mean, mostly the same. If a dog shits in a yard

and then I shit in the yard next to it, and it goes, you have to clean up one of these poops, and they're pretty similar in size with your bare hands. There's not a chance in hell that you're going over there and picking up my poop first of all you gotta do this to taylor's you gotta like you gotta like get it it's under your fingernail there's so much protein powder in here there's no it smells like creatine oh god what if you didn't know those dog turds up What if you didn't know, though? Those dog turds up, you know.

You didn't know which was which. If it looked almost the same, then it would be the same. Then you'd be just like... Is this doggy taco salad? Just a piece of lettuce. No, this is a human. There's a lot of fur in this man's poo. I don't know.

Piece of newspaper. Inconclusive. Yeah, I prefer the ones where someone actually shits in a bag and they're like, well, I shit in this bag. I'm in for a dollar and for a pound. That's what they say. And we're making a shit dollar here.

They usually take the dollar and smear one side of it with feces and then put it shit side down on the street. Then they hop in their car with their camera and wait. And people walk down the sidewalk, ooh, a dollar. And they grab a handful of shit. And watching different people's reaction to this is the great part to me. Because some people are just incredibly angry.

Some of them are sort of embarrassed for themselves. And they try to quickly wipe it on a tree or something and like pretend like it didn't even happen it's it they're like rape victims they're like they're like ashamed of themselves after it's happened and uh and some of them of course are just like disgusted and looking for the guy who did it so they can they can kick his ass which one do you want i'd want to be the guy peering around trying to find the culprit yeah Yeah, it's the most honorable reaction. But after a quick scan, if you don't see him, I'm not about

to go on the hunt for someone with poop on my hand. I'm going to go shower. You're going to the lab? I need it sampled and analyzed right now. Well, they're an alcoholic. That's no surprise. Third one this week.

I would not enjoy that at all. I imagine I would be ashamed. I would probably just walk away and be like, why did I do that? You never know what you do until you got human feces on your hand, because I bet real quickly that instinct to find a culprit

becomes, I gotta get this off of my hand yeah yeah it was an asian it's an asian spicy yes i got some curry could be in the soy sauce yeah they're close they'd be able to catch you right quick Kyle they'd call you the fast food feces man they'd just stake out Zaxby's like they did the SWAT team comes in he'll be here

just be on the lookout for the only guy who orders a large soda cup full of gravy I do get the family size mashed potatoes and gravy when I go to KFC Just be on the lookout for the only guy who orders a large soda cup full of gravy. I do get the family size mashed potatoes and gravy when I go to KFC. I get the small bucket of mashed potatoes and gravy. I'm a big fan. It's so goddamn good. Have you ever been like going through a drive-thru and you know you're going to order so much food that part of you wants to be like, I should like pretend to on the phone. So I can be like, and a number four and a, hold up, Sharon. Okay, and another

number four and- Yes. What does Alan want? A 10, two 10s, okay. I absolutely have done that. And five Diet Cokes. I absolutely have. You've done that before? Oh, absolutely, not that, but what I do is I order sodas. I'm like, and I'll need a Dr. Pepper, a Diet Pepsi, and a Mountain Dew. You know, I want to make it seem like this is three people I'm ordering for while I'm getting home and, like, setting it up all around myself so that I can reach.

I like pouring the Mountain Dew out as I drive away. This was just for show. This was just for show. This is the gravy cup now. I can picture Kyle treating his fast food places like the way a hardcore alcoholic does liquor stores where they'll switch stores

throughout the week to try and deny how bad it is, where Kyle's like, oh, can't wait for KFC. Shit, I hate KFC the last three days. That happened yesterday. Shaniqua's going to be working. I swear to God, that exact thing that happened yesterday. I went to KFC.

I got my bucket, my gravy, and I got home, and Kitty was like, You didn't get me any KFC. And I was like, You were taking a fucking nap. I didn't know you wanted KFC. I'm like, fuck. So I walk right back out of the house, and I go back to KFC. And I could tell when i got to the window the lady was

like here's your bucket of chicken she's she's like you again motherfucker what how are you so thin what are you doing i dropped all of it yeah i changed my mind i want more this time yeah they give me free cookies now when I go, which I think is a sign of my patronage. I think they're like, oh, he's back again. Here's your free cookie, sugar. Now they've got bets on when you get type 2. Type 2 diabetes?

Yeah, someone's trying to, if you've got the betas, they're trying to speed it up. So I have two topic suggestions. One, I think you'll be very interested in, Taylor, Amazon and their massive Lord of the Rings TV show budget. And one that maybe we've talked a bit about, Woody, and that is the latest in the Wings of Redemption saga. I'm embarrassingly up to date on the Wings of Redemption stuff. I'm actually not up to date on either of those, so I'm good with either direction. Let's do the Amazon one. I fear

that Kit might not care about the Wings thing. Okay, okay. $500 million budget for the first two seasons of this show. I'm just guessing. There are 10 episodes each, so you can do the math there very quick. They are spending more money on this show

than Game of Thrones ever did. The Game of Thrones sixth season, right? I think the one with all the dragons and crazy shit was like a hundred million dollars. Okay, so they're spending well over double that. Granted, it's probably... So they're spending a quarter billion a season? A season.

Yeah, and I like to believe that they're ten episodes a season. Could even be less. So a minimum of 25 million an episode of this show which can't be more than an hour It'll be good though Oh, please I could make something shitty with that budget I could double that budget something shitty Really what a paramotor videos are you? They're going to be like, really, Woody? Paramotor videos?

Yes. The rest is in my pocket. It's still here. We'll be in Mordor in no time! Woody! The eagles are coming! Don't need them. It makes no sense, but that's how it works. Is it Lord of the rings or game of thrones

it's game of thrones right oh no it's lord of the rings you're right i don't know why i got it burned into my head it was game of thrones but you are right um yeah is some of it the licensing fee like are they licensing whoever owns they already paid that that was like a quarter billion dollars that's something that's lumped in uh to be specific according to sources at rooters amazon could spend as much as 100 is 500 million dollars or more on the first two seasons of the show by the sound of it that includes the 250 million dollars amazon reportedly spent on the rights to make the series in the first place 250 million dollars already being a stupidly high number to put this okay yeah but although to put this in context as it says the most expensive season of gamer thrones thus far season six which which uh cost hbo a cool 100

million dollars to produce so it's still more than uh more than that yeah because it's 250 million for two seasons which is 125 this season i'm yeah clever like that yeah so that's a lot i but will it suck i don't know i worry because i don't know anything that amazon has done so far that i thought was really good what's amazon's best original work what's the hacker that's a really good question what's the oh uh mr robot that's not amazon is that not amazon no it's i watched it on amazon in the high the High Castle? Man in the High Castle. I lost interest. Yeah, thank you, Taylor.

It was a pretty interesting premise, but the show didn't work for me. Maybe someone else loves it, but I didn't like it. And yeah, if it was HBO that had this budget, I'd be like, oh yeah, here comes our next Game of Thrones Breaking Bad tier show. But I don't know. Even if it was netflix right netflix by house of cards they they're capable no they didn't actually that's a so they bought it someone else made it from what i understand oh thank you they don't even have that yeah i don't they just pretended that it was a netflix well did they fund it like

like what is making it? Do they have to have in-house staff to make it for them to have made it? I think it was a product out there that was being pitched, and anyone could have bought it. And Netflix was like, we want that. And they bid the most. How much say did they have in the direction of the show? I don't think any.

Although at this point, I'm sure they had some say in getting rid of poor old Kevin Spacey, whose reputation has been smeared by these spurless accusations. Of man, boy, love. Man, I watched Baby Driver the other day. He could fuck my son. Just keep acting, bro. Come on. It's so good.

It's so good. I mean. Oh. You don't have a son but i mean that's that's already on the down if it meant that kevin spacey kept acting i would have a son and give him to kevin spacey keep him locked away somewhere name him whatever you want you can have him now's the time where they think they have me they think they have me cornered but they don't see a tiger in the corner they've never like and they're just like this fucking thing i wish he would do that we're like he'd come out in real life and and make a clip like that everyone would hate it but his career is already over he he molested a boy

oh he'll be years ago you think so the only one of these like the only one of these like hard guys like not hard like the only people of these like hard guys like not hard like the only people who got lumped into that who will be back i think is louis ck because louis ck didn't actually do anything bad if you actually read what happened he just ends up he's just a kind of a pathetic creep who's like hey do you mind if i masturbate in front of you and then they're like sure and he starts doing it. And then that's it. Yeah. If anything, mock him for being kind of a perverted weirdo.

Yeah. But, you know, that's a get your rock star. It's a shame that all of those people that got lumped into one category of evil, that I just felt that just wasn't cool. The only one who got away with it, like, not got away with it. That's the wrong term. But the only one who came out looking good was Hal. What the hell is his name? The funny Indian guy from Parks and Rec. Aziz Ansari.

Yeah, that's not what I was going to say. But that is the guy I was going for. But, like, his is another one that, like, didn't end up being, like, at all like Weinstein or Spacey. Yeah. But they would still, in articles, be like, Weinstein, Spacey, Ansari, and Louis C.K. caught up in a huge controversy. And it's like, well, hold on. One of those guys molested a kid. And Weinstein, in all likelihood, allegedly,

has done some pretty fucked up shit on that same level. And then Louis C.K. beat off in front of someone and Aziz Ansari and his date weren't meshing and having some mixed signals you know she blew him like that it's not like the other totally different like she blew aziz ansari right she yeah yeah yeah and then she regretted it yeah well that's like rape well usually like you know you know how if like you're in the middle of getting a blow job, you assume, ah, it's going well. That was the thing. She got mad because he didn't pick up on her nonverbal cues. And I'm like, I don't know.

I'd have been confused too. If she's blowing me, I would think there's a nonverbal clue that things were good. Yes. It wasn't me. It was Randy. I just came out with it. Well wasn't me. It was Randy. His fucking ridiculous stand-up. I wish it came out with, well, the blowjob was very bad.

Maybe I should have taken that as a sign that she just really, there was a lot of teeth, being honest. So I'm reading about the new possible Lord of the Rings show. Ian McKellen has expressed interest in reprising his role.

Please do. No word yet. Right? I mean, he's only Let's see how old he is. 7,000 years old. 78. He's like Joe Biden's age. He could run for president. Or no, he couldn't. He was born in the UK. That I wanted to talk about.

He's born in the UK, so he cannot. Yeah. I hope he cannot. Yeah. I hope he does. I'm really excited for that because Game of Thrones, obviously, is coming to a close. It'll be over next year. There will be, in my opinion, no top-tier show out there. Westworld

is close. I really like Westworld. I'm excited to see what they do in Season 2. If they open it up to the other worlds, walking dead Get the fuck out Shit show Terribly ran of a television show just just fuck that show for a while, right? Right I'm not mad at what is that stupid or science show?

That was never good that the laugh track oh come on mystery science theater 3000 no it's a sitcom and it has nerds on it oh oh big bang theory big bang theory right we're not mad at big bang theory big bang theory always knew what it was and it was a goofy silly show that i don't watch and that's fine walking dead on the other hand started off not as game of thrones it was never that but it was orange is the new black you know it was good and now i i don't have words for how awful it is and by the way i caught up on the comics lately and they're still good yeah of course they are because because that's written by someone who knows what the fuck they're doing this this show is such fucking garbage you know they got rid of the writer who did the whole season seven debacle with uh with glenn and uh

redhead getting their dome crashed and now they've got the now they've got a lady helming the pen over there um i can't recall her name but fuck is this show trash it is fucking garbage to the max like i mentioned on pkn this week the the podcast that we do early in the week rick missed 66 times at a range at a range of yards feet like like i could have you give me three rocks three good round rocks and i would fucking be negan at least once in the i'm not saying hit him in the head but i'd hit him in the ass before he could make it out of that car and then rimmed into that doorway i i am not an exceptional shot but i'm not incompetent either i'm maybe an average shot i think i could hit him 66 times yeah i at at least it was 20 or 30 times, he's like dumping it in entire AK-47 magazine.

Unloading, reloading, fucking empty another one. Gets out his old trusty revolver that he's got plenty of practice with. Maybe you could excuse him missing, oh, God, this AK. But no, he gets out his old fucking Colt Python. Misses six more times in a room, in a room with the man. He saved his life multiple times there's another thing and then he he's at the bottom of the stairs the other guy's at the top of the stairs and he misses him with a hatchet

one more it was his only seventh miss we almost forgot that was his only hatchet and i would not have thrown it i would have, the ranged game is not on your side today, friend. Trading is not working as a strategy. Oh, I'd hit him at least 20 times. You know what anyone could do? Is hit him at least once. Put that, give someone an AK with two magazines, and someone who's never fired a gun before.

They'll just scare themselves, but they'll hit him once. I mean, on the run and stuff like that, I'm sure I'd get some misses in, but I'd hit him for sure. It was silly. It was silly. It was like, you know, when you go to the circus and they throw the knives, they do the outline of the person. That's how it went down.

They just shot all over everywhere but him. All right, let's push the drama another week down the road. Let's kick the can a little bit more milk try to and and meanwhile the the the viewage the viewership is down to like season two levels which is the worst season between seasons four and like season seven that show was really fucking good it was like an a minus uh you know amongst all of the shows that exist when when they were like walking to terminus when when when carl's getting like about to get butt fucked and and rick bites that man's jugular out of his out and fucking and you

know and then he takes the knife and gets the would-be raper and just hacks him into bits like mel gibson and the patriot that was quality television all right like like when when he gets out the red machete in that church and and the guy's like begging for his life and and he's like so you're gonna shoot us he's like no no not gonna waste any bullets i guess he was saving the bullets for now because for that scene i think that was the first season i watched it on netflix um yeah and it was that season or something where i think i was like i just i don't, I didn't even want to like watch it, but I felt like I had to.

Cause they were like, well, I've invested this far. Like I've gone, I've done this long. What shows are you all about? Walking Dead now. How many are in the same position as Kyle and I, where we're like, this sucked. This was terrible. I, of course I'm invested and have to see how it ends,

but that's how I ended Spartacus. Oh, for sure. I can't believe you. After the guy died, the guy got non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and died before they could do anything. Yeah, that was a cool guy. He was in a Freddie W video. Yeah, he was a cool guy, apparently. And he did season one.

Top tier. If you've never seen Spartacus season one. Lots of titties. We got Lucy Liu titties for the first time. That was quality. Good stuff. Good stuff. And then season two, they were like, oh, shit, he's sick.

Let's do like a prequel season. You know, while he maybe gets better. And then I think he just died. A lot of people say season two sucked. But I thought season two was actually okay. It fell off a bit, but I thought it was good-ish. Season 2 is okay. After that, it really goes to shit.

I think it went to about season 4. I have no idea. It was a job to make it through. And that's how Walking Dead is now. I don't know. I almost laugh at it. I stopped wanting it to be good. i just want to see how ridiculous it's gotten what about the lost did you guys watch lost hate lost no yes i saw

the whole thing did you like it at one point yes loved it thought that was so amazing and that's why i brought it up people have heard me say this before but every episode was like an hour-long movie trailer to something i really want to see they just lay these threads and these plans and these plots and this kid has super powers and there's a polar bear and there's this and their future and we're going back and forth in time and just like amazing thing and like oh my god and then when it ended and they didn't tie together any of those loose ends i mean the whole thing existed in the fat guy's head because he was like a psychiatric patient and the whole thing was waltz doing because he was a superpower kid and then the outsiders and just all these things none

of them they were just you know what reminded me of you ever see michael scott giving the speech in the office at the wedding? At Phyllis' wedding. He's like, the first part of a speech is the most important part. So I like to try three or four. He does like three or four introductions. I'm Michael Scott. Webster's Dictionary defines wedding as the fusing of two metals with a hot torch.

It's like, no, that's welding i'm michael scott you know she may look patronly today but back in high school we called phyllis the easy rider he's like all right wait a goddamn minute like bob's gotta get up and shove him on stage like like it was like that with with loss they were like they had like it was like eight different writers were in the room and they all had a different idea about how the show could be solved you know the mystery or whatever and they were like and and like the showrunners like listening to all eight and he's like yes like to to what we just only i know which one of you eights gave the correct answer yeah but we're gonna forge ahead there's so many shows that like had great premises and just just went to pot you know heroes is another one um i don't

know what to say about that shit so i i'm right now i i'm looking forward to westworld that comes out i think again in a month or so i i love season one of westworld big fan of that uh that's the best show on tv right now, I think. And then, of course, waiting for Game of Thrones to come back. What about Battlestar Galactica? Love it. Love it. It's like top ten TV shows of all time for me.

Huge fan. That's probably my favorite. Great character development. Really, really well cast. Edward James Olmos as adama like like the whole thing it's excellent but there is the relationship between the crazy guy and the cyborg that just there's a flaw in it am i wrong or am i right i don't know why you don't understand that it's it's you know it's she's's, she's appearing to him.

The whole thing is out of place. It would be a really great episode. You could remove everything those two ever did and it would be better. It's like the whole, you're talking about like the whole series though. That happens, unless I'm misunderstanding. That's like. Yeah, he's talking about the way that. I forgot his name.

Baltar. Yeah, Caprica Six and G baltar yeah talking about the way that six appears to baltar on a continuous basis from c from episode one until like episode 58 the final one or whatever i remember i i mentioned it i was like this thing is weird like it's and the guy's like yep you'll there's on twitter you're just gonna have to overlook that it's gonna suck the entire time and i'm not alone in this line of thinking i i could believe that i just like that that's one of those shows i play a lot of board games the board game is there's a board game about that show and it's very similar in that you never really know exactly what's going to happen next

and you're always wondering like who who is a Cylon, who isn't. And when my wife watched the show, I had already watched it. And so, like, half the fun was watching her be like, I'm pretty sure that's a Cylon. And, like, for those who haven't watched it, like, the bad guy or the someone who's actually trying to murder the human race or whatever. Right. And so half the fun was trying to figure out who's who yeah it's one of those shows where like some shit happens right like there's so many shows in general that kind of like tease the end of the human race or like oh the earth could be destroyed or you know but it never actually happens well it's like all right

it's episode three and uh the planet's gone how many of us how many of us are left? 6,000. Shit. And every episode begins with the tally of how many humans are left. So in the previous episode, you might have lost 30 people. And it's like, we can't take too many more days like that. We got to be a little more careful around the airlocks, folks, OK? Every life is precious. It's not funny.

It's not a prank. That's a bad one. Yeah. Casper is a sleep brand that makes expertly designed by... I'm going to drag it over to the other one. Casper is a sleep brand that makes expertly

designed products to help you get your best rest one night at a time. Casper products are cleverly designed to mimic human curves, providing supportive comfort for all kinds of bodies. Their breathable design helps you sleep cooler and regulate your body temperature throughout the night. Casper offers two other mattresses, the Wave and the Essential. The Wave features a patent-pending premium support system to mirror the natural shape of your body, and the Essential has a streamlined design at a price that won't keep you up at night. Casper also offers a wide array of other products like pillows and sheets to ensure an overall sleep experience,

all designed, developed, and assembled in the USA. And you can be sure of your purchase with Casper's 100-night risk-free sleep on it trial. Go start sleeping better today and get $50 toward a select mattress by visiting casper.com slash pka and using code pka at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. That's casper.com slash pka, promo code pka at checkout for $50 toward select mattresses. So I mentioned earlier that there's been a bit of a thing in the wings world, and I just like to keep people up to

date on and i'll be quick about this because i i know that uh our guest doesn't know much about her old friend wings but basically this guy's getting a gastric bypass surgery in mexico he's been teasing me for a while at all it's okay he's raised over uh maybe i have maybe i just don't recognize it i'll look it up but go ahead he. He's raised about $25,000, $30,000 from fans to get this gastric bypass surgery in Mexico. He weighs 460-some-odd pounds. He's been heavy for a long time. And the fans are kind of like,

dude, you know, you got the money. What's the holdup here? It just seems like you're sitting on our money. And so his latest excuse, Woody, is that his sleep schedule is messed up. And so he's not awake during the hours that his mother is off work. Makes sense, right? I'm a little lost, actually.

Everyone was until he went a bit further and he explained that he needs to go over to his mother's house when she's off work because he needs her assistance in booking the appointment you see the mexican doctors are going to need her passport that he's 32 years old you don't need a parental signature when you're 32 years old you could no see what you don't understand woody oh they've got to punch her passport when she gets three of these referrals she gets a free burrito oh now that you lay it out like that sure no he's not a good liar right it would like he doesn't understand how passports work that much is clearly true uh doctors don't stamp passports that's a thing they don't even check i love seeing you like you're like with a rubik's cube of retardation

it's like eight different colors there's more colors besides one of them's polka dotted what do i do with the polka dot one so but like so it it's just that so the people who donated thinking that he was all right wings has a superpower this is for kit in that people forgive him right he doesn't come across as like a strong man who's got his act together instead he takes all his weaknesses and vulnerability and lays them bare and it's actually kind of appealing like you know who this guy is and what's going on. And you're riding this roller coaster of life with him, which, by the way, goes down and down and down. And you're like, let's like, I don't know.

He's like, man, in the time I've started YouTube, he's like a YouTube OG guy. I'm going to call it 10 years. That's a pretty good estimate. Nine. Okay. And I bet he's gained 150 pounds, maybe. Kyle, does that sound reasonable? In the last 10 years?

Yeah. Well, he is our best source of information. So he's gained somewhere between 208,000 pounds, roughly. It's really hard to tell. Honestly, I would say he's gained, he probably was at like 330 when he first started his YouTube career. And so, yeah yeah i guess those numbers work out something like perfectly actually yeah good call so um uh yeah yeah actually so maybe because we he would we didn't see him in

the very beginning there could be 20 more so he's gained about 150 pounds he's now about 460 he has a hard time walking around as you would you know and people donated to help him turn his life around. And this is the second time, right? The first time there was a boot camp. He went to Kyle's house. He sort of helped him get his act together, lost 40 pounds and found it again. Now he's going to get a gastric bypass, which seems like it would be a more permanent and effective and like solution that where you can like buy the discipline that he doesn't seem to just have a wired into

him. And he hasn't come out and said that he's not doing the surgery, but if you watch, it kind of seems like that's in the implication. And, you know, when he says, look,

I haven't been able to schedule the surgery because, you know, I sleep so much that I'm not there when my mom is awake and I need my mom to help me book a surgery. He's 32. It's like, oh, my gosh. Now it's like the jig is up or the gig is up. One of those that we is this ever going to happen? Just call Wings? Let's take bets. Does anyone want to bet that it's not going to happen?

Because I'll bet that it is going to happen. I'll bet you then. $5 straight up, no odds? $5 straight up, no odds. It will happen. And by it, I mean that he will go to Mexico, and he will go to Dr. Garcia, graduate of the Hollywood Upstairs Medical School,

and he will get a gastric bypass surgery. I win this bet if it becomes 2019 and it hasn't happened. I was going to say, what's the time frame? That's important. It's March right now. It's nine and a and a half although now if i will say this i feel like the bet is null if the doctor refuses to complete the surgery because he weighs too much i'll take a push on that that's fine okay yeah yeah all right yeah yeah i am virtually i like what we did there. Yeah, $5. I hope he does it. I hope he does it too.

Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. I feel like he's just never hit that momentum level to where you're excited to be seeing the progress. Because if he lost 50 pounds or something right after the surgery, which you do after that surgery super, super quick, I feel like then that would kickstart him. And he'd be like, oh, okay, I'm not in some impossible scenario.

This is possible. Taylor, have you ever been working out and maybe you need to put two and a halves on each side to get the exact weight you want, and then after doing a few reps, you realize you didn't put a two and a half on one of the sides? And you're like, ah, I didn't even notice. Yeah. That's what losing 50 pounds is like for wings redemption he he will notice it in his in his face uh we didn't notice it look at those you've seen the before and after after pictures

the postcards that we put out after he lost 40 pounds it was like but what was he at then and what did he get down to what is verse what is he at now he went from 440 to 400 but he lost there's a difference between us seeing it 11 right like yeah i've lost six or seven pounds lately and i think it's like you know your beginner gains that no one else can see or gives a fuck about but me i'm looking at my body like ha ha this is like an archaeological dig you know the first two feet barely reveals any dinosaur bones we got ribs here yeah but they poke it out right the next two feet are going to reveal awesome woody final form perhaps and uh you know but i like i look and i'm like oh my god that's a that's an ab now i don't pretend to have abs or anything like a six-pack but

that's where they're gonna be and i can see them like emerging um that that when wings loses 50 pounds he'll do that too everyone else will be like oh you basically look like the same guy just like they say to me i'm sure but to wings he'll be like there's a difference here i've made an impact i've scratched that first two feet off this archaeological site the next 50 pounds and everyone's going to treat me like they do boogie they're going to say holy smokes look at the difference on you look at these before and after thumbnails you know that's what will happen if he gets the surgery i bet i get that weight like it's so you're just saying it's hard to walk around i can imagine being that heavy it's hard to walk around

yeah like just standing up is going to get easier like i feel like after like a week or two he'll be standing up to like walk and get water or whatever you drink after the surgery and he'll be like huh that was way easier than before like i don't feel exhausted like and that would be a good motivator sorry kid i jumped right on you no no i was just gonna say like a lot of it at least from what i've heard comes down to like forming habits though right like you have to get used to doing something different i'm not like a huge health buff or anything like that but i know at time when the when i came out with all the apps that were like track your calories and stuff like that i remember the first time which is the same thing with like mint and all the financial tracking it was the same exact thing we were

like once you start actually looking at every little thing you do i was like oh my goodness like look at what is going into my body and so that alone when i just started doing little things i realized i don't need the extra like if i order a burger i love barbecue and i love burgers so it's like i don't really need to eat that whole rack of rip or like you know like i don't actually need to do that and then i got used to it like i started forming some sort of habit where it's like sorry i'm not trying to offend people it's just i think that might be part of it too it's like, sorry, I'm not trying to offend people. It's just, I think that might be part of it too. Did you go through a weight loss journey?

No, not really. I just have, I have some friends, you know, who have tried. And sometimes I think it's, you know, for us, it's like, who maybe, I don't know if you guys have or haven't, but I've never really been into soda, right? So for me to just be like, well, just stop drinking soda like just stop doing this but um yeah for me a lot of it was just starting to decide i'm not going to drink sugar i do unsweetened iced tea now or whatever and i got used to it and now i don't i don't even like sugar you know so. I like sugar a little bit. Okay, let me go back.

I like cheesecake. Cheesecake is good. But in my drinks. A significant portion of what heavy people's weight, I think, people who are obese, is stuff like sweet tea or sodas or just slushies or whatever the hell. Because if your vice is sugar that's like freebasing you know where you're like oh i just guzzled this can of mountain dew down and it's

like i get a little high off of it like and you don't have to go through the so like yeah just cutting out soda that's like the number one bit of advice from every personal trainer on the planet and they're like i don't lose weight they're like stop drinking soda and they're like well i don't want to lose weight that bad you know i love i soda. And they're like, well, I don't want to lose weight that bad. You know, I love it. I like my Dr. Pepper. That to me is one of the easiest things to cut. And it's not that I don't like, you know, sweet tea or lemonade. Those are my vices.

It's just, you know, when you switch from soda to water, you don't go hungry. You know, when you, when you start removing snacks and like, oh, it's 3 p.m. Dinner's not till six and I'm hungry right now. That takes a little bit of willpower, you know to just be like i'm thirsty have water it takes less willpower in my opinion uh yeah we have the thing should i show that kyle i i don't i'm sorry i'm not sure what you're referring to i was oh i was just kind of throwing that in there you don't have to show it. It's, you know, it's whatever. Kit, do you watch any sports?

I used to be a huge soccer fan. I didn't watch it a whole lot. I played a ton of soccer. Like, when the World Cup comes around, I'll watch the World Cup. Yeah, I actually watch a little bit of soccer when the World Cup comes around. I definitely don't watch it at all otherwise. But there's something about, like, isn't the next World Cup in Dubai

where they had that big controversy over the slave labor? I think it's in Qatar where they still have slave labor. Qatar, thank you. That's what I was getting at, yeah. Yeah, I think I remember when they announced that. Yeah. I don't know, it's something about, like, I used to play a lot, like, traveled all over and played it,

so maybe it's something about watching at that level and you're like okay these guys are pretty good you know yeah but and you get pretty into it no I don't I don't watch a lot of UFC at all anything like that I have but uh I don't like keep up with it what about esports um I've never watched a second of esports in my life yeah you know i don't want convinced i don't keep up with it but you're not gonna i don't know i'm watching super super popular i like watching twitch gaming more like i really like uh i guess what you'd call pub stompers like i watch uh i like watching shroud just destroy people in like public lobbies and stuff but i don't know i i've never really gotten into like

actual esports like there's never been a game that i cared enough about to see the professional level of it really i guess call of duty was the only one that even came close like i definitely knew some of those guys like uh back in the day and and watched some of that stuff but um no not not so much if there's a live streamer that i'm like oh i need to see this it's wings of redemption right it really is like if ice poseidon's on i'll click on it or shroud or the guy i watch swish or something i forget his name but if wings is on that's the must see event right i i and honestly yeah we all just pray that gustavo's in the game too whatever that guy's name is uh yeah yeah yeah they're not familiar with inside references yeah no my streaming knowledge

is lacking uh i i might even be getting his name wrong because you know me but uh wings was playing with a gentleman named gustavo and this guy was not very good, it seems. Not on Wings' level at Rainbow Six. And, dude, Wings got so mad at him. Unbelievably upset. And you have to understand, like, I bet he wasn't playing great. But Wings would die, and it wasn't even Wings' fault, according to Wings. He's just, you know, why aren't you guys coming in here and, in here and like charging with me what i've been in this room for 11 seconds how come you're not keeping up with me and then he's very very mad at everyone else for not doing the things

that wings now mind you he didn't tell him to do these things he was just upset that they didn't know to do it on their own and yeah i'm a big fan i i donate regularly uh from a variety of accounts i uh you know i'm subscribed on a variety of accounts i i enjoy i enjoy the wings of redemption show dude it's not fake no it's real that that's what it's about it's like it's like when the real world came out like way back in the day on mtv like it was like holy shit this our Survivor first came out. And it was like, oh, man, this is real. I've seen the West Wing.

That's fucking bullshit. This is real. This is actually happening. This is going down. These are real people. And the same is kind of true right now with Twitch. There's plenty of Twitch streamers who are, I won't say fake, but they're performing.

They're entertaining. And so they're doing what they think is best to entertain, and they're performing that way. This guy goes out there and just lays it out on the line. He's just like, here I am. Here I am. We've got to make $50. We've got to get 12 subscribers, and then I can get the fuck off.

I hate this fucking game. I do this for the money. I don't want to be here. Or like people will troll them all stream long. You know, what do you think of this? What do you think of that? And they're trying to get him to make comments on things that get him into hot water. And it's just like, this isn't how I imagined it.

I thought I was going to come on, grab a couple of good players. We were going to roll and win every. This isn't how i imagined it i thought i was gonna come on grab a couple good players we were gonna roll and win every this isn't how i pictured it at all i've been streaming for six hours i've made 13 and i have to make this much more and i goal is you guys get three minutes of ads people will he'll be playing this video game rainbow six and yeah and and he doesn't have he has alienated so many people that he doesn't have enough people to play a full party with right as a gaming youtuber he doesn't have enough people to to like get six guys together and go there's hundreds of people watching him all wanting to see him rage he has 500 000 subscribers something like that four or five hundred thousand subscribers

he can't put together a lobby of six when we want to play like pub g it's like like i get on my discord and i'm just like who wants to before i can even put play in it's like the lobby's just insta full like when i sign on five people message me at a minimum someday you know just hey can i play can i play he he can't get a full party together so he has to play with randoms and so the people who are watching live do this thing which is just ingenious but cruel they message those people on the playstation network and say hey i know you don't know me but i will pay you 25 if you team kill that fat fuck he is streaming right now and he will rage like none other I got the money. Let's make a deal half now half when the job

Is complete He doesn't understand is that's what the show is. He's like, this is terrible. I'm not able to game at my maximum ability. I was going to come in here. He really doesn't know. I think on a certain level he probably does. He thinks that 500 people are in that crowd because

he is such a good gamer and they are interested in seeing him play at a platinum level at Rainbow Six. No. We are there to see what happens when the shit hits the fan like that's what we're here to be real if he knew necessarily right because it would feel maybe fake if he was right just like he flips his keyboard and you're like what that wasn't really no he does that controllers he throws better yet he punches balls when he doesn't break controllers, that's my favorite.

He will take a controller and just... And not break it because he can't. And then he just... He just drops it. He goes... He's just so full of rage. He's so mad. You can feel the anger. And there's something about seeing someone so furious over something so petty that is just really fun.

He threatens to kill people. He threatens to beat people's teeth out of their heads with a pistol. He's like, if you were me, I'd incapacitate you. I'd knock your goddamn teeth out with my pistol grip. And the guy's like, I'm 14. And if the guy's obviously 14, he'll be be like this i hope your parents die in a car wreck and they're like what in a fiery car wreck i hope they die slowly i hope you go the rest of your life knowing that your parents died at these are like real things this isn't like he doesn't say

things like this this is pretty close to word for Like, I hope you live the rest of your life without your parents knowing they died a terrible, fiery death. And you're like, oh, my God. It's a video game. It's a video game. But you don't understand. The guy was camping. Right. And by the way, when Wings rages.

and and by the way when wings rages so i i usually wings um has developed a play style where he's pretty accurate gun like hitting a single pixel across the map so that's what he does he'll just sit there and sort of wait where a head pops up or whatever and and do that but when you watch him get frustrated he's always getting flanked down the side because he'll sit there and aim down sights for like 90 seconds in a row until eventually you know he gets flanked and um he just he doesn't see it coming he doesn't like see the game evolve or something i don't know what's happening but he gets flanked a lot and then he always blames his team you know how did you guys allow me to get flanked as what he put has put it there is an entire industry that has spawned just to to like highlight his low lights there are a dozen channels now with with hysterical names

that that that sort of put montages together of him going crazy and being a bad person and you might think well all right you give them a month maybe they get two of these montages out they crank out three or four a day daily they make montages daily there are multiple montages i don't follow it nearly as closely as woody or kyle they get recommended to me at this point yeah at this point youtube knows it's my my uh guilty pleasure but like it seems like and correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems like all those channels are like a hydra. Where it's like, oh, Wings Ting's head was chopped off and he quit. And then three more sprout up in its place.

Like there's no way to get rid of them all. Dude, it is outrageous. And they're like production qualities and their branding is getting better all the time. What do you guys think about that one guy will come out with three or four videos in a day then another one releases like a 25 minute video of him raging from that day and you're just like you you spent 25 minutes of your live stream like insulting children and getting mad about deaths and it and what did you ask it sorry it's all good no it's all good i was just i was just asking like what you so it happens a lot with uh because those you've seen the twitch clips like i just showed you like a 30 second clip

and someone will just take like literally the top eight twitch clips of the week and put it in a video and slap it on their channel and that's it and sometimes i'm like wings has made it so that you can't clip it right like i guess there's a setting out there um basically you know when you're streaming on twitch you're you're creating some it creates a video on demand a vod so he's made it so that those are no longer available and he instantly deletes them whenever they're created so now people just get in there and they continuously clip they're just like clipping over and over to compile it and then they're compiling it yeah yeah that's dedication so much there you go and and for and for no monetary return either like see that's the thing that's true that's you'll

be like these people are profiting off my misery and then like like then they'll make a they'll put that clip in their montage and then they'll edit in their own monetization page on YouTube and show that they're not completely unmonetized. They're doing it all for the lulz. And it's like you would think that since this is a business model that's kind of working for him, he'd be in on the gang. In on the gang, I mean to say. Probably everyone's too young for this reference but jessica simpson came out with her one of the first um like in real life whatever you know reality shows type thing where they just followed her around with a camera and she'd be like i don't really need tuna's not chicken it says chicken of

the sea i always felt like i was a smart mark on that one right like i could see that she was being stupid but there was like a wink in there you know sort of a like i you know like if you're a smart mark you know she this is what the show is and she's an actress that's not i don't that's not i don't feel like that's what we're talking about here you know like yeah he's raging because he's raging not because that's what the people are here to see he's not putting on a show i this is just pure wings anger and as well as it like helps him financially as much as it helps him financially it's taking a toll out of his soul because he doesn't actually like this he wants them to want him to do well in the game.

His ideal stream is him pub stomping in Rainbow Six. And them all saying, wow, Wings, this is some real high-level play that I enjoyed from you. But he's not Shroud. He's just a guy who kind of head glitches behind chest-high walls. And no one comes to see that i think what are you uh oh go ahead go ahead no go ahead kit i was gonna say i just i think that's tough in in general so i streamed on twitch before that's a different username before i did this stuff and i remember the streaming every night for like a year, you know, to get 20 concurrent, you know, viewers or something and have a thousand followers. I mean, I think I remember specifically about around a year having a thousand followers.

And so this time around has been super crazy to be like, that's like way, way faster growth. Right. Yeah. But that's something that I certainly learned is you've got to do something a little bit different. Now, I guess I'm doing something way different, but just playing PUBG along with the other thousands and thousands of people playing PUBG and expecting like, oh, well, Shroud has tons and tons of people watching him,

so they're going to watch me too. It's kind of like, i guess it just doesn't well you definitely got your own unique thing i'm a huge fan of it um and i bet you'll get a nice little boost of uh followers and stuff after after doing this with us i'm sure a lot of people will be happy to happy to say hi to them yeah yeah you mentioned uh the clipping and everything uh when that was being brought up about wings do you hate when that happens to you or does it all depend on like the monetization angle of it i don't know how i feel about it it's just i mean because at the end of the day it's people hear about what's going

on right so for me i'm i'm a new channel i there's something in the back of my mind i never expected it to get to this point right so i just figured i was going to be sharing it with some people and like hey go tell your friends about this and i i still try to every stream remind people like let your grandma know right let your friends know that this is happening you don't have to tell them to watch my stream you don't have to donate or whatever just go tell that random person you see on the bus who's like really old that the irs isn't going to call you right and you don't have to go to walmart and pick up a google play card yeah um but oh so i'm sorry i totally lost track of what you asked you're talking about yeah no worries so the clipping part at sometimes i'm like, hey, you know what? More people see that there's scammers out there.

But the low effort stuff, because they just recently introduced the, I think it's like Clip Heroes or Clip Champs or something on Twitch. I don't know if you're familiar with this. You basically, I think if you clip someone's content and it gets X number of views, you can get a little badge that's like, hey, I, you know, which I think is cool to maybe encourage clipping. But now things happen where something sort of funny happens and 100 people clip it and they all share it everywhere.

And it just, it almost does the inverse. It does the inverse. Like the other days. It's definitely got to be a good thing because like I've been introduced to so many different twitch streamers just because i i saw a clip of them right like i i'm a big fan of pub g so like and like you said there's thousands of people who do it but like i watch the like pub g tv montages and stuff and like i after a while like you know i i'm like ah okay i'll go check that i want to go watch this guy play jesus he's in here like 18 times in here.

PKA has always had that attitude. The show's like five years old, six maybe. And if people take whatever their favorite two minutes of it and upload it, just link to the show. Maybe someone will like it. Speaking of that, I just linked to you a little excerpt that was taken from a couple shows ago. Of ours? The darkest thing ever seen

yeah see that link down there yeah okay but is this a group watch thing i don't know if i see that i don't see that it's uh the bottom most video in the chat bottom most video it's got a picture of wings looking at a picture i put your picture scroll down in the chat maybe i just don't have the chat here i'm supposed to be like a you've typed in there i just typed test to to click on this no top i have a virus i think i have a virus maybe you need to click on the cartoon bubble to make the chat appear you will need a google play card let me try again um I see you have a test. Okay, there we go.

I just had to update everything. All right, it's a YouTube video? Yeah. Yes. Let me make sure I'm sharing. I am. Are we ready? I'm at zero.

I am ready. Ready, set, play. Okay, it's going. I have a picture of me in the 200s actually. I'm grabbing it. I was watching a stream clip the other day, and it was probably the darkest thing I'd ever seen. I was like, oh, this is going to be a good thing.

I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I have a picture of me in the 200s, actually. I was watching a stream clip the other day, and it was probably the darkest thing I'd ever seen in Wayne's stream before. And he went and produced a photograph, a framed picture, and he was like, this is me when I weighed, I want to say, 240 pounds. And he shows the camera, and he's big, but he's 240 pounds and he shows the camera and he's big but he's 240 pounds you know and then he looks at that picture this is me when i was like 14 i think i was like

240 250 in that picture and something happens something deep happened he was just like like a loss of hope. Like there was a moment where he was like, that's where I was, and this is where I am. It was a dark moment. We weren't laughing at that. We were like, oh, shit got real. Yeah, it was a dark, dark moment.

But then he started eating his banquet meal, and that perked us right back up because he chews like a dog, you know, just chomp, chomp, swallow, chomp, chomp, swallow, and that banquet meal's gone. It became a trend in the comment box that was like, bro, chew. We would count the chews. He would go, chew, chew, swallow. And then when he was done with it, he starts scraping up all the gravy with the fork and getting all the juices that were in the bottom of the plastic tray and we're just like, this is not a diet. This is not diet food. Those streams are fascinating to

me. You added commentary though. Yeah, so they took that from this show, and then they went to the trouble of going to that stream and getting those clips, and they made that. Yeah. Kyle didn't do it. He just facilitated it. Yeah.

A lot of people believe that I run one of these many channels, but I don't. But you retired that channel. Yeah. See, you propagate, or as Wings would say, propagate these myths about me, and people get the wrong idea. No, no, no.

Actually, that channel is semi-known as to who did it. Yes, it is. I won't say it, but it wasn't Al. No, it wasn't me. Yeah, Wings got swatted a while back, so that shut down a lot of those channels. You got to run? Yeah, I do got to call some scammers.

Where can people find you? All right. Yeah, before you go, though, chat your stuff up. Yeah, well, first of all, thank you guys for having me. It was a blast. You guys are super cool. So it's twitch.tv slash kitboga. That's probably the easiest place to find me.

Yeah, there'll be a link down below, so people can click that, go over there and see this. It's fucking hilarious. I love it. I've always loved prank phone calls. I really enjoy your spin on it. There's no way to dislike you.

Like, you know, a prank phone caller can sometimes be seen as like an aggressor or a guy going after people, but you're like the white knight of prank phone callers. You're taking out the actual bad guys. You're doing the Lord's work. Thank you, sir. Thanks for coming, man.

You're welcome back anytime. Talk to you guys soon. Later, man. I really liked him. I really liked him a lot. Go check out his stuff. Let him know that the Rape Squad Killers sent you. I'm sure he'll appreciate that.

He'll be a bit confused at first, and that's the funny part. That's the funny part. Yeah. I want a voice modulator so bad. I'm thinking about buying this motherfucker. This is like $200. Call my dad. I feel like a guy who has trouble walking who suddenly is like,

I want to try doing flips. I'm not getting a voice modulator. Are you ready for an entire episode Multiple episodes of me and Kyle Just We both got The Slim Blade download I got the 4-inch cup download Now you're doing a podcast with two retards

Buckle up it's going to be a long Four hours I'm still stuck on the wing that was real that was deep he's he's not faking it's an amazing show it's just a shame he hates putting it on so much i mean like you were saying oh and he's looked at that and there was such a loss of hope and everything like when i saw like because i was paying attention to his face as he was looking at it, like, he got a little bit of a smile at one point. Like, it seemed to me like it was, like, I didn't ever watch the clip with audio,

but are you sure it wasn't like, oh, this is possible. I was there once. I could be there again. I saw sadness. I saw a dark void appear within him from whence there is no return. And only one thing will fill it. Banquet meals. I was going to say Pepsi. I forget if he liked Pepsi or Coke more. See, that's the best part about the Pepsi thing.

He doesn't even like Pepsi. That's not his sort of choice. People in the South don't drink Pepsi. He likes Coca-Cola, as he calls it. Dude, it's Coca-Cola. Stop dropping syllables out of it. You make us all look bad. It really baffles me.

And also, that thing you put stuff in to make it cold is a refrigerator, not a frigerator. Stop dropping syllables out of words. That's the economy of words. Saving time. Like the garbage pail people in Walking Dead. Or like

Kevin in The Office where he's like, me no need speak words. You know. Some day, they see. They see. Although he was right about conversate. He was. It's technically a word, but...

Informal word, but yeah, I guess. I gotta find a quote from him recently. A recent quote. This is a good one. I just gotta search back through my history history and it'll pop right up. Yeah. Here's a quote. Someone asked Winds of Redemption. He was playing Skyrim.

I keep voice memos and notepad quotes of all this shit. I document it. Someday I'll put together a whole study. I want to wish to be on PKA. They asked him, what character type would you be if Skyrim were real life? You know, the Elder Scrolls Skyrim.

He said, quote, the strongest part of my body is my brain. I have a good brain, but my mouth moves quicker than it sometimes. So I'm bad in situations where I have to be redundant a lot. So I'd probably be a mage in real life. That is all. So he'd be a...

Okay. You know, forgive me, because I don't... A mage is like a cleric that casts spells? It's like a wizard like a wizard yeah a warlock kind of character was the use of his word redundant that really yeah yeah well look at me when i have to be redundant a lot sometimes my words get ahead of me thought process indeed yeah indeed and and and pretentious

exactly that that whole quote is fucking retentious exactly that that whole quote is fucking retentious oh man google search it like is it written down somewhere oh no no no i went through i went into my like notepad of like wings quotes and control f redundant because i knew that that was part of notepad of wings quotes i usually do voice memos can you give me one more I usually do voice memos. Can you give me one more? Let's see. I picture, like, if you had, like, a planner,

the way most people do, it'd be like, all right, wake up at 2 p.m., 2.30 to 4. I'm going to watch Wings. I love that you already woke him up at 2 p.m. I've been getting up rather early. That doesn't matter. I don't care. Let me find my my voice memos i i anytime i think of something i think it's a little funnier i'm still stuck on

the i can't plan the mexican surgery because i wake up too late do you remember when he used to miss this show we did this show on friday nights because it used to be live we want people to be able to watch it from 8 p.m to midnight. That was about when we did the show. And Wings would get upset that staying up till midnight was ruining his sleep schedule. He's 26 years old, can't handle midnight. And he would say that the reason he overslept the show the next week was that we kept him up till midnight seven days prior.

Yeah. I think it's because he's got so much matter. It's like when you get a, when you try to stop a freight train or a shipping container boat, the larger someone is, the more a sleep pattern deviation,

the more inertia that that sleep pattern deviation carries with it. So it's like if you were to mess up a bear's hibernation period, right? It could have serious metabolic issues. Well, the science is checking out for me. Yeah. Here's another. These are my Wings voice memos. Wings never left home because he couldn't fit through the door and so you'll just be like sitting no that's just some mean i thought up about wings they're not all waiting they're watching netflix or something things

so you'll just be sitting there watching tv and you'll be like oh where's my phone all right you know and then you'll think of something cruel to say about wings you record it and you'll be like oh where's my phone all right you know and then you'll think of something cruel to say about wings you record it and you have a i guess a dossier of sorts uh yes yes i do um and not just about wings you know you know i'll be in my like like discord you know chatting with four or five guys and we'll be making jokes or whatever and like someone will say something that i think is really funny and you know you forget those you're like oh that's so hilarious i'm gonna tell woody that and, you forget those. You're like, oh, that's so hilarious. I'm going to tell Woody that. And then you forget it and you never get to tell anybody about it.

Like I've put a stop to that. I've started like jotting everything down that I think is funny and recording everything that I think is funny so that I can like, you know, bring it to the show and try to entertain people with it. Do you have any other good voice ones you want to bring up? No. Okay. No, I don't. Oh, he's saving them. Well, yeah, he's stockpiling.

Yeah. One of them was that something about you, because of your upbringing, you think that black people are the antichrist and that's why you beat up Bash. Oh, me. Yes. I'm still working out the kinks on that one.

Well, when it finally emerges, it'll be a work of art. Yeah, yeah. The Mark of Cain and all that good stuff. I don't even think I know enough about the Bible to know why Bash is so bad. Well, your mom will clue you in. And I bet she still hasn't given any incorrect notes on my Moses story because it was totally correct. This is really revealing that I need to call my mom.

Oh, let's call her right now. I can't do that. Don't do that to your mom. This is General Pretend from the IRS. First of all, do you have your Google Play card handy? I've got an Applebee's gift card with 17 on it that would do i wonder if my father would go toe-to-toe with you on bible stuff that's like his hobby oh i mean i i there's no doubt in my mind that he's more knowledgeable than me but uh there's also no doubt in my mind that i know

enough about the bible that i could come back with some specific examples not nearly as many as you would have funny like he'd mention something biblical he'd be like ah but you see isaac said on to abraham etc etc etc you'd be like what you don't understand was that was the third age and aragorn hadn't been born yet. And on Aragorn came a son. You just start throwing some Lord of the Rings fucking mythology into the mix and he's just like, I don't know anything about the Numenor. Where did that come from?

No, of course, the Judah died. When men lived longer? You know, of course. Yeah, in Ecclesiastes, right? You're furiously thumbing through his Bible over there, pulling the ribbons left and right. And you forget that at first there were seven gods, the Valar and the one Jehovah. He was just the last remaining after the battle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That checks out. That checks out. Do you have a Torah? Does anyone have a Torah? And you know, back then in the Old Testament, they were fighting Morgoth. Thank God the Satan we're dealing with now is just Sauron.

Am I right? Like just a lieutenant in the Dark Lord's army. You know, that's why Jesus got to like tamp down some rules. Didn't need to be as extreme. Yeah, let's do that. I have some AMA questions here. I've been really, I've been looking for a good one. You know, I have the one more wings topic.

Oh. Before we get to that, Kyle, do you have something to say? Yeah, I guess I can tell everyone about Dollar Shave Club. Let me make this text bigger so I can fucking see it. This new monitor is a little different. Hmm. I got a... Are you different resolutions?

Are you like 1440 on one and 1080 on the other or something? No, it's not that so like back behind me over there is my giant curved monitor i'm not using that right now i got like a 140 40 144 hertz um 14 42k monitor uh for for gaming because of the aspect ratio if i want to stream to twitch and i'm getting used to it and so i've got you got it right here and so the text just seems smaller to me. Maybe I just haven't changed the upscaling or whatever to make the text big enough, but I can barely see it. Guys, your bathroom call.

It's time to give it the cleaning it deserves. Get rid of all that junk that's laying around. Freshen it up with some high quality products from Dollar Shave Club. Members like me, we get everything we need for our morning routine delivered right to our door. Dollar club has razor shave butter shampoo body wash toothpaste everything you need to look smell and feel your best i get an amazing high quality shave every morning with my dollar shave club executive razor it's the best razor i've ever used their dr carver shave butter is

fantastic it goes on clear so you can see where you're shaving. And since Dollar Shave Club delivers everything right to your door, you don't have to set foot in a store wandering those aisles hunting for razor, shampoo, body wash, toothpaste, none of it. Clean up your bathroom and your morning routine with Dollar Shave Club's daily essential starter set for just $5 with free shipping, and you'll get the six-blade executive razor plus trial sizes of shave butter, body cleanser, and the one-wipe Charlies. Then you keep the blades coming for just a few bucks per month. razor plus trial sizes of shave butter body cleanser and the one wipe charlie's then you

then you keep the blades coming for just a few bucks per month speaking of your next month for a limited time only use code pka at checkout to get five dollars off your second month of the club that's code pka at dollarshaveclub.com and save five dollars on your second month month join the club today check them out i really like how they've expanded from just shaving now to literally everything you need for the morning. I like their shit shower shave, like, company mission statement. You know what? We're missing out on part of the market here. We don't have poop covered at all.

Exactly. Like, last time I got a thing from them they have their shave butter or whatever and i had you know put it in my like leather bathroom case or whatever and i forgot about it and then i was shaving my neck last week and i'm like oh i because i never use any kind of shaving cream i just you know do it regular and i tried it and wow it is so much better than using no product so much better and so i i would definitely recommend that if you guys shave often even if you keep a beard get it for these like above the cheek areas and uh in the neck area you don't want a bunch of red dots it's unappealing nobody likes. So you said you want wings on the show? I do.

Are you ponying up the 10K? 10K seems excessive. What would you be willing to lay down? I feel like we shouldn't talk about it publicly. But into the two, maybe even three digits. High two digits digits I hope

I don't know we've never paid for anyone to come on the show before unless you somehow count that Chris Hansen scenario which doesn't count because he voluntarily came on the show and he technically owes us some of his time

for the money we actually donated to his kickstarter so that does not count um so you know never paid for anyone are we gonna really start with him i think it would be good for like he should recognize the promotional opportunity right there's a world of people who care about him watching this show who might not be tuning into him if they could see him like his next stream would get it four digits maybe he could come in and give his side of the story you know maybe we could ask him some of these questions that befuddle us some of these and point out some of these things that he says and does and be like why did you do that i know i fusted him like three or four

shows ago after the charisma thing yeah did you i don't recall yeah probably probably went by you didn't notice i'm a nascar driver who people only tune into to watch crash and yeah well i must have zoned out for that seven minutes dude i at one point taylor thought i was reading it and then i watched um a minnesota burns podcast too is it called dude comedy i forget but they have a podcast going on and they thought i was reading from something as well and it was really complimentary to me i liked it in the same way that taylor has been accused of doing steroids and he's like huh you think that's how I felt when they thought I had it pre-planned and uh but it wasn't pre-planned uh that's it was just from the heart I was very upset at the time um but as is wing superpower that just kind of fades away yeah

I mean you get a couple banquet meals in you and you feel all better again don't we all uh it i i i would i would love to have him on you have him on and just hear what he has to say laugh with him a little bit i bet he'd enjoy his time i bet he if if he's watching this he's thinking he wouldn't enjoy his time but wings you were wrong you would like this it would be a blast it would help his stream as well yeah oh for sure it he would have a thousand dollar day if he came on this show it would be it would be pretty cool i think chisel never book it so we would have to actually do something we would have to book it i would have to book it probably but um yeah hit me up on skype or if you want to do it wings you'd have to get in touch with wings agent you really think that just wouldn't uh wouldn't book it i do think that i do think that yeah i

think that i i think that chis would have no interest in having every time we ask for him he says no doesn't he am i crazy yeah yeah yeah yeah and and part of it is is sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy because wings always blames chis for his removal from this show you know and that's just not he's like yeah chis poisoned their minds against me like sauron apparently like he gave each of them a worm tongue yes yes he poisoned their minds against me like sauron apparently like he gave each of them a worm tongue yes yes he poisoned their minds and twisted them again against me and he was the deciding vote he's got all these like crazy ideas about how that thing went down it's not how i remember it um i just think it'd be it'd be fascinating it was lefty leading the charge he

was like get him out of here i would tell you what lefty said if it wouldn't get the show demonetized i i most of the things lefty would say in private would get the show demonetized it was just like they put that scottish fellow in prison the other day for teaching his dog to do the nazi salute i mean lefty started every time you called him like like he was he was his meeting was just then clearing out and everybody was he's everybody was he's taking his uniform off switching into street clothes throws that hat across the room yeah he looks like he never showed his legs he was wearing

those nice jack boots yeah Yeah. They're stylish. They are stylish. Yeah. None of this is true. Lefty's not a Nazi. Of course not. No. But you just have to know that, yeah, the Nazis had much better fat. Like, you know when, like, a Russian, a Soviet soldier, rather, was, like, walking over the body of a dead German?

Like, there was some resentment there of of like, wow, they've got way better shit than us. They didn't even give me a gun initially. I said, Sergei, here's potato, cut the piece off, you may be able to plant more food. Anyway, so you had one more thing you wanted to go to about wings, did you, Woody, or is yours that is that it did so this video is nine and a half minutes we can't watch it all but i would like to watch maybe oh three minutes of it goddamn motherfucking nigga like a goddamn motherfucker what is you've seen it here i haven't seen this video you haven't seen this all right so this is EDP. This is eat that pussy and then some numbers.

Eat that pussy. Eat that pussy. Oh, that pussy. OK. I see he's got a play button back there behind him. By the way, just while Woody works on getting the video going, someone pointed out the other day, I believe you are almost eligible for a play button, Taylor. You should get on that.

I'm eligible for the, what's the 100,000 one? Silver. I just, I mean mean i've been eligible for that what has it been uh five to six years now i just don't care dude it's a cool thing you know i'm gonna box somewhere but but you know they're nice they're very heavy it's a big it's not like oh look at this little flimsy thing it's like like, fuck, how do I... I can't hang this like a picture. This is going to be heavy-duty shit. You have to go to Home Depot and buy new hardware.

Yeah, but you guys have got the million one where they give you something probably really cool. I bet the silver one is like... It's just gold. Like, it's just hollowed out. Nah, it's the same thing. It's a lot smaller, though. Paper plate.

It's not the same thing. Really? Who knows? Maybe I'll send off that. It's like a thing. It's a lot smaller. It's not the same thing. Really? Who knows? Maybe I'll send off that. Bitches. And then I can hang that up and then guarantee that anyone I have over who I don't want to talk about this with will be like, what's that?

What's a Merkaderka? Let me lay out this video a little bit and set it up some. EDP445 is new to me. I've only discovered him over maybe two weeks ago or something like that. Apparently he used to be much bigger. He weighs 365 now, but I want to say he's lost like 130 pounds. You know, he was 460 like wings. Now he's 360. Maybe he was 430, whatever. And, um, he reached out to wings and basically said hey man i hear you're thinking about doing this

surgery let's sync up i'll help you share my experiences you know i i have good more good days than bad ones and i've lost a hundred and some pounds and you know like i i can help you right he's reaching out to wings as a guy who's felt a similar pain and he's just trying to hook him up and wings responded like wings responds with kind of a you know he blocked him didn't he curse i can tell it didn't go well because the name of the video is a little bitch known as wings of redemption that's a good clue but yeah if i recall wings there was some audio to it i mean i don't want to misquote him but there was a you know fuck that guy he could donate i don't give a fuck about that guy like you know things wings might say and this is uh edp's response and i just

edp took this ride much faster than most people do most people you know like ah wings cursed me out You know what that's just wings or something EDP don't take no shit and The never gonna play no shit the first time wings you know bit him This is how I responded three two one play You know what my nigga Jordy Jordan wings of redemption bro seriously on some real shit fuck you bitch like seriously fuck you and fuck everything the fuck that you goddamn stand for dude i'm sick of motherfucking you know like you're the typical fucking punk ass bitch that wants the entire goddamn world to fucking feel sorry for you and shit on this motherfucking

sob story like i understand why people fuck with you now i understand why people give you a hard time troll you do all this next level motherfucking shit bitch the only motherfucking thing i tried to do my nigga was extend my motherfucking hand and shit you know what i mean try to offer you some advice try to help you the fuck out bitch this ain't no motherfucking nigga like i ain't coming here nigga preaching to the motherfucking choir and shit you feel me what so okay what i dropped what close to 160 fucking pounds big fucking deal whoopty motherfucking doo-doo you know what i mean as a motherfucker that's fucking experienced with this fucking weight loss shit it's an everyday fucking struggle you know what i mean i'm not sitting back saying that oh nigga every day i eat fucking clean motherfucker i just got off work i went to fucking carl's junior nigga i got me a

big carl motherfucking combo large nigga with a goddamn nigga with three fucking um nigga with with a fucking order of goddamn fucking chicken tenders and shit you feel me i fucked that shit up now guess what i'm gonna have to spend the next what three maybe four or five days fucking paying for the fucking shit because it's loaded on calories loaded on goddamn sodium and shit you feel me i'm not the type of motherfucker that's gonna come here and preach to your ass about what what you need to do what you need to oh nigga you need to do this you need to do that fucking everybody's body is different bro you feel me but you sitting back over here my nigga on this motherfucking

sob story and shit dude you're a fucking bitch man like no wonder dude people troll the fuck out of you man you're a piece of shit you're a fucking bitch you're a fucking like it's making me look mild dude like what the fuck is wrong with you man you know what i mean like the only thing a motherfucker is trying to do is trying to help you the fuck out you feel me and then i get a goddamn video saying that oh i've blocked edp on twitter and on youtube and shit fuck edp it's like that shit fucking hurts bro it really the fuck does because i'm over here trying to help you the fuck out and shit nigga you over here being a fucking bitch about it fucking crying and boohooing about the motherfucking shit motherfucker i got trolled nigga and i still get fucking trolled

every motherfucking oh look at this fat ass bitch, EDP. Like this fat motherfucker here. Nigga, you want to know something? Half the motherfuckers down there up in the goddamn comment section ain't got the motherfucking guts to do what the fuck I do up on a goddamn daily basis and shit. Fucking dying. Fucking sweating motherfucking buckets and shit. Feeling like my motherfucking basis and shit. Fucking dying, fucking sweating, motherfucking buckets and shit. Feeling like my motherfucking heart and shit is about to fucking explode out my motherfucking chest.

Because I want this motherfucking, like, like, nigga, like, I want this fucking weight to drop more than any motherfucking thing up in the goddamn world and shit. You feel me? And I still get motherfuckers trolling my ass, talking fucking shit. Fuck dropping over 160 fucking pounds right nigga we're just going to sit back and focus upon on the fact that edp weighs 368 pounds fuck the fact that he started off at what damn near 505 510 and shit right fuck all that nigga we're going to sit back and focus upon some negative ass shit, you feel me,

my nigga? We're going to sit back. Can we pause it here? Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I... Dude. He is not pleased. I want that to be edited into a rap video. You got all the right words, right?

You got the kings there. That was great. was great two things one edp is three things edp is amazing right i that was well done uh sorry wings uh two youtube is amazing that's what i like about you that guy was so real you don't get that on regular tv no one he looked upset at one point like when he was talking about how he gets trolled too and stuff like a little emotional vulnerability came out there and that's a youtube thing right i don't see that on other platforms it's incredible and three did he take

the wings ride quickly or not like he that roller coaster that like you know you're with wings you want the best for him he kind of burns you and like you do that again and again that was a ride we took for like three years three days and this guy's finished with that ride yeah yeah uh that's because we're white slow learners are white? I think so. I think that black people are used to people giving them a lot of bullshit, and they're quick to catch on to it. That's what happened there.

I would have him on the show. That's how we should hold Wings of Redemption ransom. Either you come on the show, or we bring ADP on the show, and we give him a platform. He's got a platform dude yeah he's got 200 or 300 000 subs nearly almost 300 000 yeah but um i saw that and and there's just something from the heart about it and and like what he was doing for wings what he wanted to do for wings you know like when he talked about how he had a bad meal now he'll be paying for it for the next five days that's the mindset that made him lose all that weight that you know like oh now i'm gonna now i gotta earn what i did wrong he was gonna offer wings advice

from the trenches right everyone else offers wings advice from an ivory tower you know look at my abs this is what you should do this guy is in the trenches next to him in a foxhole sharing a foxhole with wings saying i get what you're going through let me tell you what's working for me and wings is just like fuck that guy blocked wow butter golem was that the extent of it just and blocked get out of here uh and i think he told him fuck you or something like that like i think it was a little more than just a silent blocking that could have been some like cross promotion this guy's got some active people in his audience it hurt his feelings too you know like there was a part there was like that shit hurts nigger and i believe him you don't believe him kyle oh you just hit that R a little hard. You just hit the R a little hard. I'm sorry. That's it.

Oh, that was... That's all. I swear. It's really... I'm just not practicing. I don't know what I... I'm so sorry. I can see Kyle's face. I'm sorry.

It was an emotional reaction. When Kyle made that face, I didn't even know what he was talking about. I'm like, what? It's not in my everyday vocabulary. We know it's not in my everyday vocabulary we know it's not um it's it's yeah so but i don't know something about that back and forth i just thought it was worthy of the show it hit me i watched it and thought that guy is real that guy the wings hurt that guy's feelings. EDP's feelings. EDP 445, if you want to see the video yourself.

It's, yeah, what do you say? Well, it's probably, well, it's because that guy started at 505, 510, he was saying. It's like he knows exactly what it feels like to be in wings situation. Like to be that heavy, to have every step being like not just uncomfortable but actively painful you know as because like your body's not meant to carry that much weight like he knew exactly how shitty that was and he's probably thinking oh i feel so much better now i bet i bet he would feel better if he had some of the same advice from me like what did i not know when i began and then to like have that kind of benevolent attitude and just have a fuck you in response a sponsor that to me is the role

that he was auditioning for he was like man you know i'll be your accountability buddy i'll be your aa sponsor i will be the guy that you can talk to that knows what's up when you're sitting in that mcdonald's drive-thru line call me and i'll work you out of it right like it the edp is at you yeah man what's up the mcrib is back just drive away just drive away nine minutes yeah like that that was a great opportunity also for the to make more money like even if that is wings kind of mo right now to make as much money as possible get the surgery and whatnot

like if he'd allowed this guy to be kind of his sponsor for weight loss i guarantee this dude would be mentioning it in his videos they'd be like hey i'm sponsoring this dude we're gonna get him to lose as much weight as I have. We're going to get him to lose more. And then his viewers would have popped on over there to follow the progress. I don't know. I have a question.

So, if Wing's mom technically owns the trailer, and he pays her money so that she can pay down the mortgage. They can't both write that off on their taxes. No, the lien holder is the one that gets to write that off.

Okay. So it would be his mother getting the home interest deduction for that property. Exactly. But I think the smart money says that the standard deduction is bigger than the sum. Usually the things that pump up your ability to itemize your deductions are your real estate taxes

and your mortgage interest deduction. And I just don't think that she's surpassing the standard deduction. I'm sure she's working with one of the big four firms. They're probably sorting all that out for her. I hope so. Wouldn't want to grist that on TurboTax. Yeah, I was looking through the AMA questions here.

We've done a lot of them this month. Never mind. We've done a lot of them this month. Oh, by the way, never mind. We've done a lot of them this month. And so we're kind of getting toward the bottom of the barrel here. I love that Kyle always insults the AMA questions. He's like, you know, we're looking at the AMA, you're all kind of stupid. Just say it, throw it out there. You suck. You're uninteresting. Your questions are repetitive. They're very repetitive. It's like, you know, there's a search feature on the subreddit, for example. You know, most of these are answered there, right?

Like if you're asking about a paintball trip or if you're asking about, you know, about how much money I made selling cars. Or if you're asking how old was everyone when they realized playing a sport wasn't their first career. We've done that before. We've done that. I have done that one. I remember that you know like like um uh we're now in an alternate reality where we've just done all of these there's a couple of fat shaming ones i don't know if we've done those uh we could fat shame someone i guess you drop the link to the ames for me yes yes one one second or i guess

if you got a call i'm gonna drop a link to the uh fat shaming i scrolled up and found it Or I guess if you got it, Kyle, I'm going to drop a link to the fat shaming. I scrolled up and found it. Fat shaming. This guy is 160 at 5'7", so he's not obese by, well, I don't actually know the charts, but I wouldn't think that's obese. Oh. No, it's not.

No, he just, I mean, he's barely even chubby. Yeah, you're a little chubby, but you're in that position of fat where you can just go straight to start working out and eating better right now. Like, you're not going to have to be, like, one of those super skinny guys who struggles for a while because they're not used to being able to eat or they just don't have that natural appetite. You're at a place where you can fix your diet a little bit, start lifting, and

use your fat as a source of energy. You guys are so positive. This guy is skinny fat at best, and he is pear-shaped. I'll tell you what, I look better than him, and I am not all happy with where I am.

He needs more muscle and less fat. Unlike's got this guy's got his whole life ahead of him he does look a lot younger than me actually he does wait is this the guy that i yelled at in a um hangout once i wouldn't have i know there could be more than one but you remember which one i famously yelled at a guy and like the the hangout numbers increased after that do you recall we told the story on the show i honestly don't recognize him uh i mean he looks a little familiar to but but i'm not sure it's probably a different guy but yeah this guy he does look familiar absolutely although i will say he is using my archaeological site thing he's just a

a layer away from the good stuff starting to emerge he says that he's hitting the gym again eating less fast food so that's good stop drinking soda and i'm like 80 90 yeah yeah the top one like i i'm almost positive that's the same guy from the hangout yeah it's a different camera and different face he's making but yeah same guy yeah maybe yeah yeah i guess it looks very very much like that guy so he's right on the edge of a very different guy yeah yeah yeah he's six weeks he's six weeks he's six weeks of hard work away from from looking quite nice uh he's got these uh push-up things back there behind him over to the right of his arm. Yeah, that's good.

Send us another picture next month so we can compare. Yeah. And then this next fellow is 6'2", 18", so about 30 pounds upper weight, and he's trying to get in shape to keep it at all he doesn't look the dog tags yeah he doesn't look 218 yeah you you don't look like a super fat guy or anything i mean you're clearly overweight but you're not the kind of person that you would see in public and think man that guy's gotta change his life yeah like you'd think like hey that guy needs to eat a little less and maybe lay off the soda or you know beer or whatever he's enjoying both of those guys are only a button-down shirt away

from hiding it yeah but then but you can always tell in a button-down shirt when you're sitting down like when the pooch comes forward i think unless you like wear giant button-down shirts but you don't wear giant button-down shirts anyway because they look sloppy you know you want you always want a fitted one which you know you can't have a fitted one if you're if you got a gut so yeah if you guys want us to fat shame you you have to send a pic of someone who's really fat because i i'm not gonna mildly overweight shame you yeah really i only mildly overweight shame myself but yeah you you've definitely got it dude i like how you're wearing your dog tags do you always wear those just around just so in case you die in the drive-thru? Just captured or something.

In the drive-thru. Here's a question. How effective would Wings be as a goalie? Not at all. Soccer or hockey? The answer's the same. The answer's the same. Yeah, not at all.

Taylor, I feel like there is a level at which a big guy can become effective right like a hockey net is six feet across if he lays down it's also too high if he lays on his side across then he's not going to be able to stop any kind of hard shot it's four feet tall yeah yeah that's just too big a person he's all right so he's roughly 70 inches in circumference all right so but the thing is if he was laying on his side even he wouldn't be able to snuggle the ice close enough that you couldn't just a hard on the ice shot just probably slide right under him but yeah so no so no. He would not be a good goalie. Although, hey, not to merge into hockey talk,

hockey talk, hockey talk before Kyle kills himself, but hey, St. Louis, three-game winning streak. I like what you guys are doing over there. Let's see, the circumference divided by pi equals the diameter, right? You just Google it and then ask the correct thing. Yeah, he totally did. We saw him Googling it. Now,

pie. No, I pulled up the video where we do the measuring, though. I remember when we measured him, there wasn't a measuring tape, so we had to use a string and then use an industrial tape measure

to measure the string. The time when we walked next use a string and then use an industrial tape measure to measure the string. The time with the wheel where you walk next to the string. Like you're a prospector. Isn't that what those people do? Oh, jeez. I don't know what it's called. I like prospector better. I imagine a cowboy out there.

Good lord. He's got a divining rod. He would not do well in goal. But most people wouldn't. That's not an indictment on him. That's fair. I wouldn't be able to play soccer goalie. I don't know how to do that.

Soccer goalie though. There are some sports where the goalie is like a good save percentage will be like 60 and it's like if you're a professional soccer goalie and like you're doing really well stopping one of two it's like they're really setting you up to fail that's a shitty position to play like at least in hockey like if you save 90 of them you're not playing well like that's not a good save percentage you're gonna get sent back down to the minors like you need to be 91 92 ish you know what does that change through the levels like the stats you're saying i know we're about right for the pros is that true in like college and minor leagues and i like uh high school all of my hockey knowledge is relegated to the nhl

like i don't watch any minors i don't watch any college but usually the way a goalie will get up because they develop slowers they're like jesus christ this guy's just dominating in the ahl let's give him a shot in the nhl and then sometimes it goes out goes well and then other times it happens like malcolm suban a couple years back where they're like he's a dynamo the younger brother of pk suban the at the time mont Montreal Canadian superstar. You know, Malcolm's going to tear the league apart. And they gave him his first ever NHL start against the St. Louis Blues of 2015, who were arguably one of the best teams in the league.

And all the Bruins fans were like, why couldn't we have started him against Edmonton? They're like, no, he's good enough. He's good enough to go up against him. Let in three goals on five shots and got pulled and sent back down to the minors for another couple of years. And now he's back.

Yeah, but he's back now. He's still a good goalie. But anyway, that's 90 seconds is enough hockey talk, I think, for our entire audience. And 90 seconds more than Kyle needs. Yes. Yeah. I just saw on the subreddit that there was a... I

killed a guy that's on our subreddit in PUBG. he was like like and i remembered like it going down i thought it was really funny like he he's like how did you get me and i totally remember the sequence of sequence of events that led to me like getting him in the game it's really i thought that was a just a weird uh coincidence that someone on our subreddit you know was in my pub g game and i killed him yeah that's oh are you gonna play so sea of thieves are you gonna play sea of thieves with us i'll give it a go like i want to get it on uh on xbox yeah so that i can more comfortably play it because i still think i'd probably suck

at the pc version but it's like 60 bucks it is xbox how much is it on pc i didn't even 60 dollars oh 60 dollars on the pc as well is it we all do pirate accents i not about to empty my whole chest for that game yeah we uh we uh we all do pirate accents uh you know oh well then i'm in i uh i i am i trim the sails that's my job chiz drives the boat and uh uh midi kind of runs around loads keeps the cannons loaded uh looks for other vessels with a spyglass and stuff it's it's a team effort i don't park orders from the crow's nest there is a crow's nest there absolutely is a crow's nest what would my job be if be? It seems like you guys got all your bases covered. Well, we're going to need somebody to be bailing water and securing planks, you know, should a battle ensue and we take damage.

Securing planks. So I'm the janitor of the boat. Repairman. You didn't mean zombies. That's true. Same thing. Someone's got to bail water, you know. Someone's got to keep the cannons loaded uh basically yes but basically the way this game works is you're kind of in a big open world and you're sailing around on the ocean completing missions like fetch quests that are kind of lame

if i'm being honest you go to islands dig up chests fight skeletons but there are actually there are other players out on the seas with you and you run into them occasionally and they're either going to be in like a big four-man boat them occasionally and they're either going to be in like a big four-man boat like we are or they're going to be in like a bitchy little one slash two-man boat and we love picking on those two-man boats when we see a two-man boat like full steam ahead i'm in speed i'm over there like getting those sails trimmed up but then like the other night we ran into some people who like i don't know they had fancy sails right like like like and like just i know you don't play this

game but just to buy those goddamn sails means they've been playing this shit non-stop since it came out like they're they're fucking pub stompers in sea of thieves that they because they have red sails we're like oh that's a that's not the boat I saw. I saw a little boat. That's a scary boat. And they just sink us over and over. It was a decoy boat. There's a funny mechanic where the majority can vote someone to be put in the brig.

And the brig is like a little cage down below deck. And they're just stuck in there. So we voted our friend Middy into the brig, and then we crashed the boat into some rocks until the boat starts leaking, and then we danced around his cage playing our... I played like this, I don't know what it is, but you crank a thing and it plays music,

and Chiz is playing an accordion, and we're just dancing while he drowns. And then I started playing the isis music on my laptop as the water like slowly like yeah yeah start playing the isis music because we've drowned him in a cage you know as they as they like to do um so you know we found ways to make the game fun well it's and you know and you know we battle, there's cannons on the ship, you know, so you pull alongside other boats and you shoot them with your cannons, and you try to, like, navigate in such a way to avoid

their cannons, and you can load yourself into a cannon and shoot yourself at the enemy ship and get on there and start chopping them up with your cutlass or, you know, get out your blunderbuss and shoot them with that, And it's pretty funny. I was watching a

streamer named SummitPlay, and he managed to sneak aboard the enemy vessel, and he just got all their treasure and started dumping it out of the boat when they weren't looking. They don't know he's there, and he's just in their captain's quarters getting all of this treasure they must have spent several hours accumulating,

and he's just throwing it into the ocean. Just throwing it all in the ocean. There's all kind of hygiene. If it can't be mine, it be no one's. Exactly. We're doing the pirate accents the whole goddamn time. Oh, I wouldn't even consider it if not. The whole fucking time. Oh, that won't get great

and annoying. All of a sudden you hear Chit-Chit's like, enemy's dead ahead. Ramming speed, Mr. Dawson! And I'm fucking trimming the sails up. Do you guys have pirate names? Uh, we haven't gotten that far, no. Uh, but I'm Mr. Dawson. Mr. Dawson. Where does that come from? Is that the... I don't

know, but I won't respond to anything other than that. Roger that. I won't respond to anything other than that. We're being pursued! Dawson, I see your creek ahead! Shall we go down it? Yeah, it's, uh, I'm not sure it's worth $60 yet.

I think they plan to add more things to it, but right now it's just kind of, we make it fun enough for $60, but if you were just by yourself, and you're like, you know, you're the kind of person who doesn't have any friends to play with them, maybe don't spend the 60 dollars uh on the game but but you know if you got three friends i just realized you weren't looking at me of course i wasn't looking at you we play with you why would you say that okay all right but now i know there's a guy that we all know who can't seem to put together a party.

Just smart as a whip. Sharp as a marble. Yeah, that sounds like a fun pirate game. The fact that you do pirate accents and it's clearly not taken seriously, I'm a fan of that kind of thing. But how does the actual game go? So it's like a group of four people,

they hop on the boat, and just does the fact game go so it's like a group of four people they hop on the boat and just does the fact that you have four people mean that you get a decent boat whereas the two-person boat is just like oh why even then why would you bother doing it doing a two-person game at all if you're just gonna get put in a shit boat and be basically food at this point i honestly don't know uh i think maybe they're faster than us if they operate their sails correctly, but I don't even know that to be true. I just know that they give you a smaller boat because you actually have to sail. You actually have to trim the sails and put them into the wind,

and there are three big sails on the galleon that four men sail. And so each of us needs a job. Like I said, Chiz is driving. One guy has the map telling him how to use the compass, and I'm operating the sails, and then someone's always got to be loading the cannons and

patching holes and bailing water if we're in a fight. So I think that the smaller boat just requires less people to manage. Is there a job like war drummer where you can just stand by there? Yeah. There are a couple of instruments. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can play the accordion, or you can play the, I don't know what it's called, but you crank a thing and it plays music. And they're funny songs. You can get drunk on grog down below deck, and then you're, like, literally drunk, and if you drink too much of it, you can vomit. So we do, whenever if there's only three of us playing, we have to get matched up with a random individual.

And if they're being lazy, like sometimes they just sit around and literally don't do anything, so we lock them in the brig, and then we all get drunk and vomit on them. Ah, true pirate punishment. That's right yeah yeah we give them a roman shower what is that that's when you vomit on someone oh okay actually a golden shower is when you piss on someone as as part of a sexual fetish but a roman shower is when you

vomit upon them uh to uh as part of a sexual fetish. Neither one sounds fun, but I would take being peed on a hundred times before I would take being vomited on. Yeah. That's much grosser. I'm with you, but I'm not sure I'm with you on the ratio.

It might be more like five to one for me. I'm not saying like, oh, you get vomited on once or you get peed on a hundred times. I'm just saying, you know, if they were giving me the 50-50 thing, if you want to get peed on, you want to get vomited on, I guess a peed on 100 times. I'm just saying, you know, if they were giving me the 50-50 thing, if you want to get peed on, you want to get vomited on, I guess 100% of the time I will pick pee.

Yes. Oh, that's what I'm saying. I explained it. And I would much rather pee on someone than vomit on someone. Yeah, I wouldn't want to vomit on someone. Yeah, yeah. There was this guy on the Stern Show, and he was so awkward. He was just like one of those 40-year-old virgins

who's just like really weird and gross. And he's just like, Howard, I just love when chicks vomit on me. It's just very hard to find someone to vomit on me. And he's like, well, you came to the right place. All right. We're going to need some bitches to come up in here and vomit on Vomit Dave.

And we'll pay you whatever amount of money, $500 or something. And he gets girls in there who's it's not their thing to do it either so they don't want to do it either and he's laying if i remember correctly either nude or in his like on the floor of the studio no with plastic laid down like they laid on a bunch of plastic like dexter is about to kill someone he lays on the plastic and these chicks are like trying to vomit on him and he is in ecstasy watching them gag and try to get some out and like like they're not good at it you know if they they probably didn't have breakfast

you know it's just so i'm gonna see if there's a clip of it and possibly be fun about that for the vomiter or the vomitee neither one would be fun nobody wants to vomit like the only time you're like oh thank god like if i don't know if you guys have ever had the stomach flu but like it it's it's terrible and there are times like where you like have a big vomit afterward, even if it's nothing but water and Gatorade. And you're just like, oh, thank God it came out.

Sometimes you feel better after you vomit. What's terrible is when you don't feel better. Like the last drinking episode, I vomited. And then afterwards, I vomited again and again. And after three or four, still bad. Now I'm just dry heating or something it was yeah it was at that point you're just like you're so drunk that you were still vomiting but all the alcohol had been absorbed so you were just vomiting up the cup of water that you were trying to drink

over and over i'm sure it was oh is this an actual video of it really bad yeah if you just watch like the first 15 seconds he just he describes what he is and what he enjoys. And there's no music, no nudity, anything like that. I'm scanning through the video to get to the actual vomit to see if there's nudity. But there is vomiting. That in itself might be an issue. There's no... Well, not at the beginning. He said he likes to watch men vomit, too.

That's so much grosser. I don't know that i share your opinion on that yeah i guess vomits depends what they're eating now that i'm on team taylor yeah should we play yeah three two one play aroused by being in the presence of women who are nauseous and they puke i'm in a metafile what does that mean a metafile are people who get aroused by watching other people vomiting both men and women it's like let's like a fetish bring on the vomit girls i want to see the vomit girls i have a line here now why bring this to howard stern because i think he's a very innovative and very understanding of people like myself who are into these unusual practices and bizarre behaviorisms and I believe that this is a true medium, a true place where

I could be known to the community, Howard Stern's listeners, to know that I exist. That there's a guy in New York who likes watching women vomiting. The ancient Romans had their vomitorium. New York City has me, the human toilet. I just paused after human toilet. All right, I think we know who he is. He's wrong about vomitorium. That wasn't a thing that Romans did.

Vomitorium is what they called the entrance and exit to, like, Colosseum-esque buildings, because it looks like it was vomiting people back out onto the street. But it seems like a fine rationale for this gentleman to indulge his fantasies. Can I just say that the girl that they get to vomit on him, I find to be rather cute. Is his time stamped?

Oh, yes, I do. So she appears to be eating something. I don't know, tapioca pudding? Something like that. She's loading up for the act. And the gentleman seems to be shirtless in underwear, laying on

his back. Now his physique leaves something to be desired. Okay. It starts at 17.59. I am ready anytime. 3. It starts at 1759. I am ready anytime. Three, two, one, play. She's offended. It's not in my head.

I know I'm not the only one. Ironically, she's choking. Oh, oh. Nope. Something's coming out. She's rubbing the vomit into himself. Stop, stop. Oh. Rubbing the vomit into himself.

Stop, stop. All right, Tyra. Oh, no. Stop, stop. Tyra, stop. Stop, please. I beg you. She's getting a lot on her own shoes. Tyra, stop.

Stop. Someone stop. Tyra, stop it! She's done. She's done. Tara, can we pause it? No. How are you? Oh, man.

Roman showers. Roman showers. Tara, come here. I'm great, man. What the hell are we doing? Oh, man. See there wasn't Jeff not coming up at the camera. He's rubbing it all into his chest there. Like putting peanut butter on a shag. Oh man. Listen to Jeff he is in heaven. The first time ever. Wait wait wait don't F word.

Oh is there anything else? He can do this but the life. Hold on a second. Let him enjoy his moment. Oh, that was fun. Look at him. Look at him. This is a man who has just realized his dream, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, man.

Oh, man. You don't need to see it. Oh, I didn't. I turned my head. I saw some of it, though. Did you see, Gary? How are you? Wow.

You didn't even see it. Did you throw up? If the e-camera was on me, you'll see. I'm so close to throwing up. All right, all right. Tara, what about you? I'm disappointed, Tara, in a way that you're not really into. People in the studio are vomiting. He's probably being like, what a waste.

Tara, what was it like for you? Oh, it's disgusting. Why? Because how would I answer this? Because I love you and I just wanted to get in here. And, you know, PlayStation 2 is cool, but... Vomit is good. I love the accents.

Vomit is nice. My mother likes vomit more than sugar and spice. Normally, it wouldn't have taken me that long. Maybe it would have taken longer. Normally, it's easier for me to throw up. So when I heard it, I was like, yes, this is it. I can get in there. Maybe it could come quicker now that you think of me. I love you stuff. I'm not trying to be your girlfriend. I love you and I was like, yes, this is it I can get in

I'm not trying to be your girlfriend. I love you and I just well aren't you nice to come down here and help this gentleman Jeff Jeff are you happy? This is the first time ever First time in a long time, that's for sure. I see it's still going down your neck. Maybe you want to wipe off with a towel or something. All right. Yeah, that's enough of that. That's enough of that. I gagged pretty hard watching that go down. I hadn't previewed that. I just got to the part where it was going to happen.

I was just shocked. I don't know. Somehow, whatever the video was called, you know, woman vomits on Jeff makes dream come true. I didn't expect to see vomit yeah uh frankly i expected more vomit uh i thought it was going to be like uh or there's another clip where there's three women i believe all giving it their go i feel like i got the gist of it yeah i don't just because i didn't see as much vomit as i thought i would doesn't mean i want to see more vomit i have a decent political topic all right oh we know people love those yeah so here's what happened joe biden has been

oh this is funny it seems to me pre-campaigning for president uh going out and people said i forget they asked him about trump or something would he debate him they asked him if he'd debate him and biden said that if they went to the same high school he would take him out back and whoop his ass or something very close to that and then president trump tweeted that uh he was both smarter and stronger than biden biden should stop making physical threats and then he would kick his ass or something like that. You want me to read the actual tweet? Yeah, yeah. Would you get it perfect? Yeah, sorry. I'm trying

to scroll through. Crazy Joe Biden is trying to act like a tough guy. Actually, he is weak, both mentally and physically. And yet he threatens me for the second time with physical assault. He doesn't know me, but he would go down fast and hard, crying all the way. Don't threaten people, Joe. Damn. Damn.

Yeah, so. I like that. 63,000 retweets. So the liberals are loving it. They don't see anything wrong with what Biden said, which he sort of did, you know, start the thing off. He said it before, too. They're like 72.

I am very badass. Like, he got to the top of the front page of Reddit, which is how I discovered it. And they're like, 72-year-old man, obese man with bone spurs threatens to beat up joe biden so here we are let's forget the high school thing which is when it was actually supposed to happen who wins today and also aren't they both draft dodgers well i don't know like they they both chose to not go to but uh right now, Trump probably because he's four years younger. But in high school, Biden because he's four years older.

That's funny. Yeah. Because Biden would have been a senior and he would have probably beat Trump's ass. Although Trump went to military school. Senior versus freshman, I think Biden's winning that one by a good bit. Yeah, I got a side with Trump on this one i think you could beat up joe biden i think you'd beat up hillary clinton too oh did you yeah she's going through some rough stuff she did you see that her uh that clip of her falling down stairs in india please please give me that oh yeah she fell down some

stairs and uh like hurt her wrist pretty bad or something and had to cancel a speaking engagement. I don't even know where the fucking... So here's Biden's thing. Taylor's mostly right or right. When Hillary goes away, Bill gets to play. He got a bunch of draft notice deferments for being a student, which was like a legit thing in Vietnam. And then he flunked a physical because of asthma which i'm suspicious about couldn't catch his breath i don't know if that's one of those that you're yeah that kind of like

bone spurs except bone spurs to me seems even more ridiculous like like i don't but i guess i have no problem with someone dodging i don't know what bone spurs entirely are like like i honestly have no problem with someone dodging vietnam though it's know what bone spurs entirely are. Like, I honestly have no problem with someone dodging Vietnam, though. Like, if you ducked out of World War II, like, that's a completely different fucking thing, right? Like, we were attacked. We're fighting the axis of evil, you know? Like, it was...

We needed you. Like, there were guys who would get whatever that thing where, like, you can't serve and they commit suicide, right? You know, during that whole thing. Like, like i get that i would have served for that but vietnam fuck that look at that golf i'd be looking for some kind of what it's called it was a lie like it was a lie yeah they lied to get us into the war and um the war wasn't like that was a proxy war with russia or something like that yet another proxy war with the soviet union like just another way for us to fight them without fighting them complete fucking

bullshit like like i'd have been looking for bone furs or asthma as well i'd have gone to canada i wouldn't have gone to that war especially if it's like i don't know let i'm trying to like pick a scenario where like i'm able to like be like whoa so we're losing whatever 600 men a week and they're in the jungles of vietnam and this has been going on for three four years and what are we fighting for again oh my number got called no no no uh and those guys in vietnam no saw so many days of combat per year. I don't remember the number, but it showed the comparison between the amount of combat the average World War II combat soldier saw a year. And it's way lower than you would think.

It was like 40 days or something like that. And then you look at the Vietnam one, and it's like almost 200. Like 15 times that or something. It's crazy. More days fighting than not. And you're doing it in a dank swamp, or not, a dank jungle. Super uncomfortable. Your feet feel like they're rotting off.

And your enemy is just guerrilla warfare hiding all around you. And if they catch you, they're going to torture the shit out of you. Yeah. Fuck that. I guess the Japanese were like that too. Yeah, but fuck that. I wouldn't have gone either. I'd have found a way to dodge

that shit. Again, World War II, like, yeah, sign me up. I'll go. Europe or the Pacific? Preferably Europe in the summer, you know? Maybe the Alps? But no, you're not sending me to the fucking jungles of Vietnam. No, thank you.

No. No. I'm not going to deal with centipedes longer than my arm and biting ants. And those are the good days. I don't want to have to worry about stepping into a punji pit full of sharpened bamboo shards with human feces on them. What about the Iraq War?

Also kind of a sham line. Well, we didn't draft people into that, right? Let's go hypothetical on it. Oh, if I'm drafted. Well, go hypothetical on it. If I'm in the... Oh, if I'm... Well, I don't want to be drafted into any war that I don't...

that I feel is like a proxy war made up to fight over some resources over there that we don't even need. You know? Like, the only... Like, I don't want to be... If I'm in the military, then I'm in the military.

The commander-in-chief tells me where to go and I show up, right? Like, that's just the way I would feel about it if I were in the military, then I'm in the military. The commander-in-chief tells me where to go, and I show up, right? Like, that's just the way I would feel about it if I were in the military. You know, maybe, like, privately with my fellow soldiers, I'd be like, ugh, this is kind of an odd war, but at least we're getting some action, right? I feel like that's how they feel. I feel like, you know, there's been long periods of time, like maybe in the late 80s, where we hadn't done anything in a while and

i i guarantee i've read i've watched um documentaries about the navy seals and i think that was a time where they hadn't really done anything in a while and they were like yeah it was boring we hadn't done anything in a while and iraq came along shit we were detonating we were like securing oil rigs and parachuting into the dead of night it was great great. I have a friend in the Army, and he was telling me that when he first joined, if someone had a particular badge or ribbon or something like that, meaning that they had been to a war zone, it might have been the one where they take indirect fire or something like that. And so if they had that, you were just like, whoa, this guy's seen the shit.

I trained, but he's done it and uh by the time he got his like everybody had him and they weren't cool anymore and then like the you know getting a knife fight badge never gonna have all the cool badges that guy got 10 knife throwing kills can you believe it achievements to the military it's gonna be great That guy got 10 knife-throwing kills. Can you believe it? Yeah, he unlocked a badge. Adding achievements to the military. It's going to be great.

Oh, that'd be great. So we all think that Trump would win. Yeah, I think Trump would... I think I was pretty spot on. Trump wins now because of the age difference. Yeah. Trump loses high school because of the age difference. Sometimes I choose against really fat guys

because cardio is a bigger part of fighting than some people realize. It's exhausting. I also have a secret service in my command. Yeah. But I don't know that Biden in 78 has better cardio. That's just really old. He might be more frail.

They're both so old. You know what? I would love to watch that fight. Like, for real. That would be hilarious. But it would also be a huge letdown because it would be about six seconds long before two old-ass, out-of-shape men were just ruined. Just totally...

I mean, how old is George W.? Fucking 75? 75? I might take W over both of them how tall is w i'm tough as a hickory stump punch me once and i can get punched again that's his fault wait no that is him i made a mistake he's 71 so w is actually younger than either of them okay well then i would go go W. I feel like at this level of elderliness, like Obama would thrash any of them.

He's like in his 50s. Yeah. All goes by age. Actually, I'm trying to think. I can't think of them. And they could all take Carter. Obama might be the toughest president we've had in my lifetime, like during when they served.

He's definitely the youngest, right? No, Bill Clinton, buddy. Bill Clinton's a big boy i like obama more dog shit out of obama why he's bigger is he oh yeah obama's wiry he is he's a basketball player he's athletic he smokes though i get a hold of that little fella we're gonna see and smoking that'll show you down i mean here you know i smoked a few things but you know it was more of an experience i'll be black off that canyon i suck the pussy juice right off of that cigar so bill clinton's six two i think obama's gonna be taller no obama'1". You're right. I bet. And Bill, like, in his prime, like, and I will say Bill Clinton's fighting prime may have been when he was jogging into McDonald's.

Like, honestly, all right? Like, he's got a lot of weight to throw around, right? He's cagey. He's hungry. He's got Hillary on his back. He's angry all the time. Ter terrible bitch tried to feed me egg whites this morning can you believe that i told her you'll never be president with attitude i'll make sure of it i like bill clinton in a fight against obama a hundred percent like like like take that bill clinton that went in that jogged into mcdonald's and got that double cheeseburger against any obama like ob Obama on day one of his presidency. I like Bill Clinton in that fight. W, too? W used to be into mountain biking and running,

and he was a pretty athletic guy. I just have so much respect for basketball. Something about basketball. You can't hide not being in shape in basketball. Yeah. Gotta run. But I mean, like, who is going balls to the wall in an exhibition fun game in a sport against any president like if you ever watched uh the clips of putin playing with khl

players and putin is like when you see him like shirtless on a horse you're like that guy's actually in pretty good shape for like his he is in pretty good shape but then you see him play hockey and it's like that is not what i expected the president of russia to skate like and like you can see like kovalchuk and all those guys like oh he accidentally turned it over to putin oh my family uh you okay all right you're fine like that kind of shit like they were obviously handing it over to him i feel like they'd be like that on a lesser extent with like any sport you're playing in america you were saying about putin was he he said it's not what you expected he was terrible terrible yeah yeah he looks awkward he looks stiff yeah he's like skating like i don't know anything about hockey but even when i watch it he looks

like his stride looks stiff and it's it's sort of like stride stride stride it's not this fluid sort of like when i when i watch hockey players i'm i'm always impressed by just the speed and especially the guys who have explosive speed they just like they're kicking ice dust into the air as they take off like accelerating i i was watching hockey um a few months ago and i was like this is actually pretty fucking good and then i realized i was watching women's hockey like like like the women i was watching us versus canada they're incredible athletes they really are. I may prefer that to the men. Like, something about it seemed, like, more fun.

Yeah, it's definitely not better than the men, because it's not physical, and it's slower, and it's much, like, the shots aren't as hard. I mean, it's just not the same sport. But you just have to watch it and appreciate it for what it is, because they are really, really fucking athletic women. Yeah. Have you ever seen this clip

woody this barack obama on uh 60 minutes clip seriously tim i'm not sure this is fucking hilarious i'm queued up ready i'm a huge fan of this. Ready, set, play. Anybody flying planes to the World Trade Center talking reckless about Michelle's arms or talking that birth certificate bullshit is dead, B. I mean, what's a goon to a goblin? I'm the goblin. I'm not a killer, but don't push me. You ready, Tim?

Yes. This is Barack Obama on 60 Minutes Talks. Osama bin Laden by Funny or Die. Mr. President, you're coming off an impressive week. 60 Minutes talks Osama bin laden i can say it not can you tell me how things transpired leading up to the attack i was at the white house getting that money when my military connect hit me with a direct message on twitter letting me know that they had identified the whereabouts of osama bin laden it was at that point that i uh gave out the executive order to lay that murder game down, B.

Don't even read him his rights. Run through the door, start blasting. No questions asked. Change. Then what did you do? Change. At that point, I informed Michelle. She called the barber, had him come through for a fresh edge up, make sure my geometry was on point for the cameras,

popped a couple bottles of rosé, talked to the people, gave the speech, and let them know how we're doing on the west side of the atlantic change what do you say to your skeptics there are some who are demanding to see the body let me be clear osama bin laden is a rap b it's over okay the last thing i said to my military connect on twitter was this lay the murder game down be body that nigga and then bring the body back don't come back with no body you're saying you you have the body of Osama bin Laden in the trunk you have the body of Osama bin Laden in the trunk of your limousine Osama bin Laden's dead body is in the trunk of the limousine you smell that that? That's not Old Spice. What you're smelling is a new fragrance entitled Corpse by Osama.

Pow. Pow. What is next for you in the coming days? Tim, I'm glad you asked that. First plan of action, make McDonald's breakfast all day. Hell yeah. I mean, what's so special

about those biscuits that it has to end at 1030? I mean, there's an old lady in Idaho who works from 7 to 5. I hate these stories. And maybe she can't get her sausage egg McMuffin, but I charge you the next time she comes. And she asked at McDonald's, can you serve me breakfast? They're going to tell her, yes, we can.

Yes, we can. Ridiculous use of power. One more thing. I also read TI today. Oh, shit. can yes we can ridiculous use of power one more thing uh you pardoned ti that was in prison bars two hours ago did that you know why because i'm the head of the motherfucking state any last words kaddafi i'm coming for that ass i run the military if you want that beef uh and then tim i have a new single out the people need to get ready for the video because it's about to be bananas bananas here a little something sure sure oh oh i probably stopped now oh right i'm glad you said that yeah that's very funny that was off

the internet for a while i couldn't find it for the longest time like like i feel like it was privated for a while and then came back because now it's easily found you just search for rock obama so snowflakey and that that came off a little racist that's uh barack a flock of flame who you didn't think it was funny i i look i thought it was funny but i just like all the humor was wrapped around him being black. Yeah, that was the point of the video. Like, you know, when they're like, look what he's going to do to the White House and they like pimp it out and they put dubs on the limousine and stuff. That always struck me as a little race oriented. Well, it struck you that way because it is yeah that's not a bad

thing really yeah that's black culture it just seemed a little i don't know i feel like a snowflake i don't i normally don't i'm just like huh isn't this all like look what this black guy's gonna do how he has no class, laid on the murder game? I don't know. I didn't think about it like no class. I just thought it was funny. The funniest part of that whole thing is getting McDonald's breakfast all day. And he's like, ridiculous use of power.

I like that. I like that. I also like when they threw in some slogans like change. They said another one too, I forget. I like it when they work slogans in. Corpse by Osama. And then when you started telling

the story, that sounded very politician. Yeah, Obama used to do that all the time. There's a lady in Idaho who can't get those biscuits. She needs her salsa. She works all day. I love these Funny or Die things. There's

one that's Captain Planet. That one's fucking hilarious when he starts turning everybody into trees. Funny or Die does really good. I don't know if they still do stuff. They can be a little hit or miss. They're very hit or miss, but I feel like that's the same thing as any kind of sketch comedy. Even whitest kids you know, super hit or miss. Who's the like that's the same thing as any kind of sketch comedy. Like even whitest kids, you know, super hit or miss.

Who's the one that like interview by the vine or something? Jack. God, what the hell's his name? The fat guy from the honeymoon movies. I can't remember anything. Oh, wait, the guy from the honeymooners. No, no, he's fat. It is a recent movie movie there were like three of

them that came out in his series he has a really hard to pronounce name oh zach alphanakis zach alphanakis used to do a thing maybe between the vines something close to that between between two vines look it's gone piece by piece i'll put it together this is what happens this is what happens i will not remember a name or a thing so i throw out a hint right like hey i think his name i don't remember his name zach his name is jack and he does between the vines yeah i'll say between the vines for example thinking that you guys can help me cross the finish line but that's not what actually happens instead we all laugh at the hint and uh as if yeah and that happens to me a ton yeah but yeah zach zach alfanag is between two vines uh very hit or miss all that for that very hit or miss that show um yeah or sometimes it'd be a hit

but like you look back and you're like you know what really only six seconds of this was any good there were some really like the one like one of the oldest ones was ben stiller and he gets into like zack's you know sitting there like rustling his papers loudly like hitting his own mic and he's like trying to get ben stiller to take his email address and finally ben still is like fine just just give me your email and i'll i'll shoot an email next time we need a part for a background piece he's like what's your email it's like i don't want you to judge me for this is before i knew you but ben stiller faggot 69 aol.com and it's like your email address is ben stiller faggot 69 aol.com well i didn't know you at the time so it's like that's pretty good actually yeah that i always enjoyed those interviews with him but yeah

he's funny i like zach's version of humor i like that dry sort of like there's moments of just really awkward awkward pauses that are just you know just thrown in there on purpose and it's just really it's fucking hilarious i like those i like the justin bieber one i like the uh the steve carell one the obama one there's a lot of great episodes of between two vines or between the vines sorry it's between two ferns for all of you who might actually want to to find uh the zach show it's between two ferns uh at least a couple people were googling between the vines what the fuck it's not like sanford stadium no no it's between vines yeah oh it's fucking funny i i think i want to get this voice emulator thing that the the guest

was showing off it's it's two hundred dollars, but that's really effective, I think. Did you actually notice what it was called? I totally forgot. I opened the link, but I closed it since. Shit. I'm going to look. I don't know how that would work for PKA, but I don't see that any way that it couldn't be funny if we could get it to work.

I don't necessarily want it for PKA, but maybe if we did some prank phone calls. I totally understood what he meant by you do the accent, you do the sound of someone else's voice, the tone or the pitch or whatever. Yes, this is Mrs. Richardson. And then it adds that last 25% of authenticity to it. And especially talking.

I love that. That was great. He should do one where he is a woman with Alzheimer's. And every three minutes, hello? Hello? Who is this? She keeps getting most of the way through her credit card information, but then forgetting.

It's 447222. Who am I speaking with? Ma'am, there's a problem with your Microsoft account. Your computer will be terminated if you do not get back to us. Oh, no. My computer? Oh, honey, I'm not very good with those. That would be a hoot.

I love that cut between the vines. Oh, that was funny. What did he call Aziz Ansari? It was like, Aziz Ansari or something. It was just so bad. It wasn't even close. It's like,

I don't even know there were two extra z's minimum added and he's already got like three z's aggregated in his name so that's a lot of z's but aziz a lot of z's but yeah he's i i want to find more ways to get woody to say names yeah yeah so we need to stop at all offering help on actors i always do i don't know why oh yeah i see what you mean yeah like whenever an actor comes up instead of like racing to like be the first to to remember the actor's name be like i don't know what are you what is it uh and just wait for him to to fill in the blanks like a kid with a crayon. His name is Alan J. Thurman? Alan J.?

No, Billy J. Thurman. Billy Ba? I don't know. No, we'll come back to it. Yeah. We'll try that. Yep. He's back.

He's back. Quiet. Shh. New topic. New topic. Yes, new topic. Away from, you know, between two ferns. YouTube is banning firearms demo videos.

I heard that. I thought they were doing it right away. Because I went to Hickok's channel and it was still there. Yeah, they're not banning firearms demo videos. They're banning videos that promote and link to websites for the sale of firearms and they're they're banning um uh sort of assembly uh and instruction videos for for firearms uh high capacity magazines and stuff like that so yeah videos that show bump stocks was one assembly like you said was one uh ones that sort of promote the sale of them is one and that's where

it started tying into some of the youtubers that i know like like you come to mind uh i don't do that never have they uh they they put that rule on me years ago that said that i couldn't do that like it's interesting that now they're like writing it down for everyone like they've made us they haven't allowed us to link to a website that sells things or uh or like or talk about where to go to buy things for years because um but like i watched demolition ranch and sometimes he's like like you know what like i've got a bunch of uh ar-15s but i never had a race gun and for people don't know you might use an especially light like of AR-15s, but I never had a race gun. For people who don't know, you might use an especially light, designed AR-15 for competing. You know, like in a, what's it called?

A three gun? Triple gun? Three gun, I think. Three gun. And so, you know, he got kind of hooked up with this gun, so he could do three gun. And, you know, he sort of shots them out. And I wonder if YouTube is going to knock that kind of video um yeah probably

so hey cock 45 45 right um it seems like most of his videos seemed like he's sort of provided a gun and he gets guns and they get promotion yeah you, you just got to do it verbally. And, you know, just mention the name of the gun. And what we always explain to people was like, look, people are going to hear me say it, and then they're going to Google it. And the first results are your website and your Facebook. And then just watch the traffic from there.

And that's how this works. But you can't directly link these things. We've never been able to do it like they they put that rule on me literally six seven years ago or something like that yeah yeah so what's the end game of all this um they'll keep being they'll keep going harder and harder against until you just can't do it probably can't do what make gun videos at all or yeah probably so or only a particular kind or you'll have to know someone or something like that that's so fucking ridiculous yeah or you know maybe it you know what would be smart is um you know if there was another platform that you could go to i

see people going to live leak uh which is interesting i'm not sure what the CPMs are like over there or if there was a website that hosted content. But again, that's going to be a whole kerfuffle of its own. Yeah, the challenge is people want to go where the people are. The content creators want to go where the subs are and the subs want to go where the content creators are. There might be someone out there whose favorite show is pka but they might stop watching us if we were on you know venmo or not venmo vimeo vimeo damn it i did it um anyway they uh yeah so that that's the challenge that all these creators face they don't want to

go make their own place yeah what do you think's next in the chopping block other than guns huh um for youtube i mean yeah yeah yeah uh free speech explosives um well you know they've they've uh they already you know that's been a long-standing thing like yeah yeah like making them, or... That's another rule where you trailblazed, Kyle. You know, you... You walked that razor's edge. You know, you just do it the legal way.

And burn the bridge behind you. Let's do it the legal way. I didn't blow my... I'm not the guy that blew my leg off with a lawnmower, right? He's the one that fucked shit up for everybody else. And himself. And himself. I'd rather be the guy who's not allowed to upload bomb videos to the internet than the guy with

no leg or legs. Did he lose a whole leg? I think he lost a leg. I think we've watched that video before where he's standing super close and you pointed out like, so where you'd want to be for this is about five times further away yeah it's funny because i watched it and thought like okay he's making a dangerous

choice here but it wasn't so crazy to me it wasn't like i was like i i sometimes i watch people make mistakes and think that's a mistake i could have made. Probably wouldn't have. You know, never have before. But he couldn't hit it, or it wasn't going off, so he got to where he really could. And he was, like, 15 feet away. And darn it, the luck, it went straight to him. It's like the...

Oh, he's so close to it. Of course, the familiarity with the explosive, like, helps, like, to know. He could hit it with a rock from where he is. How far is it? 15 yards. See, 45 feet. Oh, that ain't even close.

It's not enough. But when we talk about things coming at you, you know, I picture the 360 degrees on the compass. 357 of those were safe. That's just not accurate. I would say... See, it goes in all directions in a dispersed pattern, right?

Like, many, many of those degrees were not safe. And he's taken up, like, let's say, five degrees with his body width at that range. He's so goddamn close to it. 45 feet. He's so close to this thing. Like, I want to find a clean video i am an amateur russian at best yeah yeah i i'm telling you i i've seen a lot first of all

that's not the thing the kind of thing you want to blow up right like i've had little incidents myself but it's a and that's why i know right like i'm not saying i've never had a little you learned we all have our own expertise about stuff like that kyle knows explosives if woody were watching a youtube video about running off of a cliff with a paramotor and the guy's like all right i've got nine feet to run before the edge of the cliff you know and any videos about homeless people i know how far to keep a distance there i had a homeless encounter just yesterday i tweeted about where i was i was near where i live and this guy came up and was like clearly like on something was like hey can i clean your windows clean your windows anything helps and i was like no no i'm good

thanks though but i wasn't even in my car i was walking down the street and this guy with his spray bottle and handful of wadded up newspapers asked if he could clean my windows which i think was clearly just a way for me to lead him back to where my car was so that he could rob me or something or find out where it was for later i was wondering what his end game was i was like what if you had said yes yes clean my windows yeah my car's right over there the one with the lights on top yeah you're not see i didn't even think of you you're gonna take him to a car it was just like yeah clean them where are my windows in this scenario you're gonna get my armpits you're gonna no lube up my chest i'm not letting that guy touch me oh god are we ready to watch this

yeah i just watched it in quarter speed to, God. Are we ready to watch this together? Yeah, I just watched it in quarter speed to get a... Do you want to do that together? Quarter speed for everybody? If you start at... 22 seconds. How do you do quarter speed? Click the gear, go to speed, and click 0.25.

Oh, cool. Yeah. Are we ready? Yeah, from 22 seconds ready set play it's going well so far and his leg is gone look at the blood

blood on the lens blood on his pants blood in the air it's gushing. I blew my leg off. Oh, shit. Does he just have one leg today? I don't know where they found it to put it back on.

I mean, they found it, but I don't... You can't reattach that shit. You know, when I look at that distance... I mean, clearly Kyle it, but I can't reattach that. You know, when I look at that distance, I mean, clearly Kyle knows that's ridiculous. It's a lawnmower. There's a lot of factors, right? The distance is important. The amount of explosives that are in there, important. The composition of the explosives,

how they're the type and how they're packaged together is important. But the target's important too like this thing is made out of heavy gauge steel like there are lawnmower blades in it presumably right like i mean it's it's heavy stuff a refrigerator is pretty light you know like i know like if you put an explosive in a barrel with a lid on it that lid's gonna go right farther and faster than you might have expected you know if it's a barrel with no lid upside down the barrel's gonna go so a lawnmower is not that much different than an upside down barrel i can see how it flew do you know in the same sort of like it's it's heavier it's it's lawnmowers are heavier gauge steel right there are bigger chunks of it they're attached differently there's there's

heavy bolts and stuff in there it's designed to be propelled by an explosive in the way that like an upside down barrel is. That's what I'm headed at. Do you know what I'm saying? Like it's got little. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know where the explosives were placed either.

That matters. You know, if he put them on the seat of the thing, he'd been fine, but I think he put them under it or something like maybe down by where the blades are. I don't know that a blade hit him or whatever, but something hit him hard enough to cut his goddamn leg off, which is

just awful. That's the worst thing that could happen. And he didn't make any money. I was blowing shit up. He lost a lot of money having to get his leg stump fixed. I was blowing shit up and getting paid to do it.

This guy's just like, this will be fun. There's no way. In my spare time, when I wasn't making of it, I like this guy's just like this will be fun like there's no way like in my spare time when i wasn't making of it that i wasn't doing stupid shit like this i never would that's crazy like no somebody has to pay you to do something this stupid he volunteered watching shit like that it's like like to permanently lower your quality of life by such a huge amount for it's not even it's not like losing your leg in a war where it's like well yeah i was out there and i got you know my leg got shot off but i was in war and that's what happens you know people would they still respect that shit you know it's

like you were wounded this he doesn't even have a cool story the rest of his life anytime someone brings it up he's gonna have to explain well i was being a dumbass and was standing 16 yards from a lawnmower that i was blowing up he has to look down at that stump or his super expensive leg every day and he just probably wants to punch himself in the face god i would not fuck around with explosives like that yeah that's stupid like like if you're doing it for fun you get get way back. You get something between you and the target. And you don't place them in something like that. Like, I've shot targets that are dangerous like that, but always from a long distance away.

Like, if we're doing it for fun, you know, and the camera shot isn't important or whatever. Like, we've blown up toilets. That's incredibly dangerous. Ceramic is heavy. You were a foot away from sharing a leg with that guy uh yeah maybe potentially yeah it'd been worth it it absolutely wouldn't dude i'd have gotten a peg leg gun you know how badass that would be

if my gun shot bullets please if your leg shot bullets yeah i would have a peg leg and and it and i'd like i'd like pull my leg up and it'd be like the shotgun yeah yeah i'd have a pump action fucking peg leg or something you know i i'd it'd be integrally suppressed um i mean there are worse ideas i'm googling to find out what happened to this guy's leg uh you know because i want to find one that's from like, you know, two years later or whatever. They're talking about you, Kyle. Like, somehow you're at fault for this. The fuck? People. Of course.

YouTuber FPS Russia is what we like to call here at CNN a bad influence. What's he doing to your children? Up next after 90 seconds of commercials. Yeah. Maybe don't copy the professional Russian with the tank. You never know. He might have an ambulance and a crew of 15 behind him.

He may. But who knows? He never showed that on camera, so I assume it's just a couple of bumpkins from around the area who showed up and are yucking, you know, as they watch the whole thing go down. Now, that happens sometimes, too. The bumpkins like to show up and yuck.

You ain't been here before? This is my friend Lamar's boy. I totally went down, you know. There's bumpkins all over the country that would show up for that shit. There were some in New Mexico that showed up. It got rather close to an explosion we did with a tank one time for no apparent reason.

You couldn't warn them off. We're like, look, we're about to do this thing, and we don't have any authority to send you away. But that 88mm anti-tank gun is about to go off. And that hunt over there is going to vaporize.

And the vapor's coming at you. And they're just like, do it! They're just like, do it! It's like, alright. I'm going to be in a tank i don't care man yeah i mean it would have been fun to watch if i were around i would have watched from probably you know 30 farther away than you were at the very least yeah because i wouldn't want to get fucked yeah that would suck high risk no reward the way this guy lives his life absolutely yeah

that was that was foolish and like i don't understand i don't know he should have been farther away from the damn thing you know and and and like you could see what happened like he he missed it a few times and then he got frustrated and like stepped closer to it or tried to get like a different angle on it like he should have slowed down and been like, you know what? Wait a minute. Instead of getting closer, maybe we should get farther away. This is retarded. I would never... Couldn't he have stood partially behind a tree

or something? Yeah, anything. Because he's right in the middle of that path. Like he's Rambo. Go behind a large tree. Or just go further away. Or just go home away or just go home finish your GED and start contributing

you know bet Burger King didn't take him back after this he can't be a sous chef there anymore he lost his leg Taylor yeah I know that Burger King doesn't don't play no shit they gotta get you in and out he can't be clicking and clacking back there with his, you know,

his fucking Paralympics foot. Always taking a little, like, always shoulders bouncing up and down. It looks like he lost his leg below the knee. I'm not finding anything that says otherwise. Yeah. And he used three pounds of Tannerite. and he used 3 pounds of tannerite. How much did you use for that explosion that it almost knocked your leg off?

15 pounds. How many yards were you away? I don't know. Like whatever framed the camera up right. I didn't really count. It was about making the shot look good. Not about safety at all. I was like, oh, is that framed well?

Yeah, you got me, and then just the side of the truck looks good. This is our range. This is our range. No, I would guess... I remember it wasn't that far. 40 yards, I would say. I would say 40, if I had to guess. 45, maybe. Something like that.

Well, yeah, I guess you were shooting a larger object as well. So it's going to look... Yeah, a lot more pieces of things to fly. Did you have, like, a come-to-Jesus moment at all right after that where you were like, this could have been the end of Kyle? No. No. You know, it's... moment at all right after that where you were like this could have been the end of kyle no no um you know it's i i don't feel like i can talk about this without sounding like i'm being some sort of fake tough guy or something like that but no it you know just it never bothered me um you know

i enjoyed it honestly it was thrilling uh it was fun um uh you know i'd had plenty of shit fly back at me i've had bullets come back and hit me in the chest and stuff um and bullets come back and hit me in the mouth and stuff and draw blood um we had a piece of refrigerators come back you know i i you know i i foolishly you know kind of think i'm immortal and that i can't be harmed uh you know i'm pretty sure that like morgan from walking dead exactly like that i'm pretty sure i could close my eyes and walk through like a room full of buzz saws and i'd be just fine you know i've just shit never hits me uh you know hard i mean see i remember having that mentality when i was six you know where you're like my mom would be like hey that thompson boy up the street he drowned last night and i'm like yeah i can't drown though because i see through my eyes everyone

else is just an actor in my reality like yeah and then like yeah you know a couple years later when you kind of realize you know your consciousness you're, you're like, oh, shit, I could have been a Thompson boy. Like, maybe the lifeguard let him, you know, flounder a little too long so he could live his dream of saving someone. Who's to say? Yeah, they do that sometimes. They do.

They're a selfish bunch, lifeguards. And there's also a small possibility, I believe, that I'm actually in some sort of matrix and I'm the only person here that's actually a person and the rest of you are just, you know, bots and non-playable characters. As far as I know, that I'm actually in some sort of matrix, and I'm the only person here that's actually a person, and the rest of you are just, you know, bots, and non-playable characters. As far as I know, that's not true. Just NPCs. Yeah, you wouldn't know, though. You're programmed to be a Woody bot.

That's true. I'm not real. To mispronounce names and abuse waitstaff. That's just what you're programmed to do. We don't blame you for it. That's what the Maker programmed you to do. That was a glitch you for it. That's what the maker programmed you to do. That was a glitch in the Matrix, is Woody's name recognition. Programs are trying to fix it, you know?

Yeah, you know, there's a possibility that that's the case, you know? That this is not necessarily the Matrix, because it would be a little silly if they were like, we're going to put a movie in the Matrix. Guess what I called it? The Matrix. Yeah, that's literally what we're doing to them. They're going it they're gonna love it only the first one though the second two they won't love yeah and you know what you're saying it's unrealistic like that kind of like

they don't think a human body can generate generate enough power to make this all worthwhile the fools why wouldn't they just use cows or something easier to handle they said enough power to make this all worthwhile. The fools! The fools. Why wouldn't they just use cows for something easier to handle, they said. No. I don't know the human spirit actually exists. Jesus was right. We've hidden it from them. Yeah. I saw that the Matrix phone is going to be re-released. The one that goes

and drops out. They're going to re-release that thing in either black or yellow. I think I'll go with black. I'm going to not purchase that. Ah, I'd fucking love that. You mean like as a new cell phone? Yeah! It's got a smartphone capability. And then it has like

tactile buttons. I'm pretty sure. I don't know about a touchscreen. But it's got smartphone capability and it goes when you press a button and it like He's really focused on the pacha the pacha is so many good things that smartphones do but does yours pacha no it does not pacha checkmate see like i i would like it actually headphone jack if it has a If it has tactile buttons on it, that might actually be a bit of an increase.

A bit nicer. Because my texting speed has never recovered since they got rid of T9 on just the regular 9-pad. Are you not using Swype? I do sometimes. It's still not as fast for me. I type so goddamn fast with with with swipe it's like a keyboard for me i still have to look for like swipe and everything to make sure i'm getting

the right stuff or if i'm just like regular tapping but like with the tactile response of t9 the actual buttons like you could just be driving and just sending huge long messages because you just you knew exactly what was going to come i never got good enough to uh with it to do it without looking but yeah i think this one looks fucking sick uh i i'd like to have this phone i i just want to go pacha and make it open maybe that'd get old after like a week and oh you're giving yourself too much credit yeah you're gonna you're gonna pachow that thing 500 times the first day and it's gonna gonna become a pachink and it's not gonna be as fun once the you know springs wear out or whatever the fuck it's doing it's possible it's possible it's not that cool and i can tell by the

buttons that they're not that good they don't have any travel what does that mean like uh like you know when you stroke a key like a good keyboard like going down half a centimeter yeah but a bad one it's practically a membrane that's what those keys are going to be like or even worse than that are those uh really old keyboards that like you learn to type on or at least i learned to type on where it's like you have to really give it a punch and it's like, yeah, you can never get going quick on. Yeah.

I learned on an electric typewriter. Did you? Yeah. That thing must've been a relic when you learned, right? I don't know. It was, uh,

I was in middle school and I, uh, when I took, uh, typing, I guess it would have been it wasn't keyboarding and uh and you know it's big it's a big thing and uh you load paper into it and it's electric typewriter i don't know how else to describe it you know it's it was it was

very satisfying to use honestly like as you type it's and as you got better eventually you could make it kind of sing like a musical instrument, you know, when you could finally type and do, you know, 50, 60 words a minute or whatever. Growing up, I had a computer. It was helpful. You know, you did your homework on it and stuff. My wife, I don't want to be a dick about it or anything, but she had a less wealthy household than I came from. So they had a typewriter with an lcd screen that had one line of text like it didn't have a screen it was just a one line lcd thing and they called it the computer

and like when they had to do papers and stuff they it was kind of like an lcd screen at all is helpful because if you make if you old school one typo and the paper was like you had to use white out yeah the lcd at least you could like proofread your sentence before you went to the next line and as you're typing the next line the things like printing out the line above it but uh that sucked they got an actual computer shortly afterwards it sounds awful they called it i like that i like how you put that you're like and uh they called it the computer. Because I feel like there was a moment when you went over there and you were like, yeah, this is the computer.

And you were like, no, it's not. Yeah, that is an electric typewriter. Not even that good of one. Yes. This is shit. We're going back to my house. I'm going to show you a computer. She points to the corner.

Her dad's back there behind a cardboard box with two puppets she's like yeah that's the tv what what come on mash is on if we wait till seven it's gun smoke he's got every line and scene memorized the same puppet is clinger and and also the sheriff but but you look past it. That's just the protagonist puppet. It's imagination. Oh, man. I always hated puppet shows, even as a child. Yeah, that's really fucking lame. I've never – although, have you ever seen a ventriloquist?

That is the king of puppet shows. There's a comedian ventriloquist that's pretty popular yeah yeah um bill burr what's his name um uh did you think it was bill burr oh kyle's so stupid you got a name wrong no just me that was funny i'm sticking with it what is his name jeff dunham jeff dunham that i think that's the guy i was thinking of too yeah he's the one who has like the the terrorist puppet and a couple other ones i don't even know i haven't seen i saw his stuff a long long time ago and i didn't care for it because i don't like the puppet i'm particularly used to the grumpy old one the one i think he's like known for yeah yeah i like the

puppets um i like ventriloquism i think it's an interesting talent i you know i've tried to like do it like you watch him and then you like try to do it yourself you're like fuck that is an actual talent how does he do that and then some of them do like the trick ventriloquism where they're like drinking a glass of water while they make the dummy talk it's like what are you doing he's what is the trick there do they actually have that talent or is it stage magic where you know that's the one part that comes through the speakers i don't know i have no idea but i i know that like i feel like i'd get a week into practicing my ventriloquism skills and be like there's no future here like how many hardcore ventriloquist fans are there in the country dozens it's it's the one group smaller than paramotorists

i think that might be it yeah those ventriloquist dummies are they creep me out i don't like it. Social media is growing paramotoring. Is it really? Okay, two things. One, yes, really, it is. It's, like, exploding. There's not enough instructors.

Instructors are booked out for, like, three years. And then the other side of it is, you know, there's always these, like, dumb shit sports that claim to be the fastest growing sport because they went from one to six yeah i think there's a little bit of that going on too but uh yeah social media is making paramotoring blow up yeah where it's like we've grown by 500 percent this year it's like yeah one to five there are 10 of us now doubled in size in the last week um it so i i always take an interest in the business thing right and there are no rich paramotor instructors sometimes i daydream of being one and i look at it and i'm like the michael jordan of paramotor instructors makes you know some amount that you'd want to make more than and uh but i wonder if that's changing

and you know that that someday there will be a rich paramotor instructor maybe interesting to me maybe not everybody else but i think it's gonna only if you find a way to pull heists using the paramotor i think maybe that's a slow heist unless you're like robbing a school for the deaf or something like what what could you heist in a paramotor very light because I can't carry much right it's hard to launch if I bring like a full tank of gas and some oil you know to refuel so a bag of money can't be that heavy i would want large dominant denominations well yeah gold for sure right even an ounce of gold is worth a thousand bucks right so i could steal 10 pounds of gold maybe not more but that's still a lot how much is a gold bar way

70 or something like a brick yeah i think it's about 70 pounds jesus christ that's way more than i thought it would be let's check 12.4 kilograms that's what i'm getting too which is not even like is that like 29 pounds uh probably 27 pounds so i was pretty off i don't know where i got that number ah have you seen the deadpool 2 trailer is there a newer one i i saw one that doesn't involve like like the him holding action figures right and that was the same one where the guy's arm was still green-screened and stuff. That's the last one I saw. I'm sure we can't watch it.

It's guaranteed to have music, right? Let me watch it real quick. In any case, it looks very good. Really excited for it. I heard that the early screenings for it, the reviews are perfect, literally perfect, better than the first Deadpool's reviews. The reviews are perfect. Literally perfect. Better than the first Deadpool's reviews. Oh, that's encouraging to me.

It's funny Taylor left it. It's good music. Because to me, I love Deadpool the movie, but I really dislike Deadpool the trailer. I always dislike them. When he dressed as Bob Ross or something, I get... You'd love this.

This is great. It starts off and it's fun. It's fun and funny. In the first 18 seconds of the trailer, that's a laugh out loud moment, I feel like. I hope I like it. Is it about the movie? Yeah. It's a standard action movie trailer with clips from the movie.

But it starts off, and it's a song right away. It's, I'm all out of love. I'm so lost without you. I need you so bad. I'd do anything for you. I feel like 50-50 chance that gets us flagged. What I just did? Yeah.

I take that as a compliment. It's like, yeah, this is it's gonna work the content id system yeah no i just i was a little i started getting sensitive when they took down one of the pkas or something and then i got a you know there were 488 of my videos got flagged including like 10 recent pkas and uh it was just like god damn i can't do anything so i reached out to quibble cop for help i sometimes tap into him uh for like youtube advice and uh he's like yeah you know if i play a game first thing i do is turn all the music off because it gets automatically copyright flagged and he's like it's not that big a deal because you'll probably win those but um

like i remember we watched rick and morty trailers together and said sure enough there'd be music on them and we talk over it the whole time which to me kind of i thought always protected you from whatever yeah it doesn't seem to yeah i don't think it protects you from the automated bullshit but it definitely would protect you if you were actually doing like a an appeal i would imagine maybe i i don't know how it works but even so they're like i'm like 488 appeals so um they just knocked it down to the ones that had major music labels behind them and even that was dozens yeah whatever it's just it's a whole new world of youtube copyright protection it's yeah this is another video that we can't watch in the

show but i was going to ask you if you had seen it and then briefly discuss it the rick and morty um run the jewels uh sort of music video that came out about a week ago i have not seen it i have only watched like the first five episodes of this season of rick and morty and lost interest like it was the season from like a year ago there's not a a new season. Season three, yeah. Yeah, okay. So I haven't even seen all that season yet. Such an enormous drop-off from the first two. Well, you have to understand it takes a really high IQ

to appreciate Rick and Morty and whatever that meme is. Yeah, it keeps going for a while. I love when you see those comments on the internet or twitter or wherever where like it's such an unbelievable level of smug and retardation you're like all right this is a new pasta like i'm gonna see this on the internet for the next you know four years i'll still occasionally see the uh you know i'm a marine bucko with over 300 confirmed kills and i'll like and all the dude i mean you're you're yours is pasta now on the pka reddit dude i love this listen here it's hilarious yeah you know the people only vote

upvote you because you're sorry or whatever like they change it to be a reddit thing and i thought it was great i wish it got used more but yeah and now it will maybe maybe i used i posted the ice poseidon subreddit some guy was mean so i've used that exact copy pasta and it went over really well that's good well when you get a chance this music video i i thought was very entertaining and the animation looks excellent i don't know the colors like i just like looking at it it was pleasing to the eye and the song was good it's just like a it's a completely like it has nothing to do with the show it's just them like going on like a crazy mission for three and a half minutes with music playing over it and uh it's good does it seem like there's no good tv right now i know i've said this before but like so winter is when good tv happens right it's late march you know and silicon valley

is coming out but it's not out usually in late march we're like game of thrones in it right like there's some good stuff going on um is better call saul happening this year i don't even know silicon valley is a goof house of cards should be a thing um no house of cards is over like no like none of uh no kevin spacey that show is gonna suck i agree i'm just sort of talking about like that everything's falling off like i don't even have anything on my radar that's supposed to come up. Westworld. That's it. Westworld is the next big thing that's coming out. Westworld Season 2 comes out.

Let's see. I know it's soon. I need to rewatch the first series. I didn't give it a good chance. You got to really. You need to watch that Carbon show. People are really raving about that. Altered Carbon.

Yes. It's good, but I don't think it belongs in this conversation. Good, not great. Yeah. It comes out Aprilil 22nd uh so one month from today oh the next big thing that's happening is ufc 223 like yeah that is uh april 7th is when that happens yeah yeah two weeks from now uh roughly and uh i have a question for you is it tony time or is it khabib time? Oh, it's Tony time.

It's Tony time. I think it's Khabib time. I'm all about Khabib. But not if Cyborg steps in the ring. Because she's a monster. Nobody's stopping Cyborg. And speaking of which, did you see McGregor talking shit on Twitter in a fancy suit? In a very new money suit?

I mean, like, you know, he's challenging again. And it's like, when's he going to come back? Are you really the champion of anything at this point? Taylor, that's great. Anyway, sorry, I didn't... I am very excited about this. I think Taylor just fast-forwarded the card. Go ahead.

I appreciate it. I'm very excited about this card. Is Steve A fighting Miocic on this card? Am I crazy? That I don't know about. All I know about is... Actually, they're the same person. Corm very excited about this card. Is Stipe fighting Miocic on this card? Am I crazy? That I don't know about. All I know about is... Actually, they're the same person. Cormier and Stipe.

Yeah. Is Stipe fighting himself again? No, it's the Rose fight. That's what's big to me. Obviously, Lozon is on the FS1 card. I think he's headlining that. Loves watching Joe fight. So that means the night starts early, right?

That means I'm going to end up watching six hours of fights or something like that. watching joe fight oh i definitely gonna i'm so that means the night starts early right that means i'm gonna end up watching like six hours of fights or something like that probably starts at six or seven p.m and won't be over until after well after midnight or something like that but yeah the main two fights of course are uh rose fighting uh uh joanna jacek rosie amaguna's fighting joanna jacek fucking silly names and I said it on the subreddit someone asked us and my opinion is like I'm scared for Rose again right

did you already watch the thing about the tickets yes yeah about Djerjacek getting in Rose's head by saying you know something about her plane tickets and then she steps away and she's like did she do something to our tickets are our tickets confirmed like did she did she did she cancel our tickets do we have tickets does she steal the tickets where are the tickets like what tickets is she talking about

yeah yeah yeah i uh i really want to see that fight but i'm afraid for rose just as much as i was the first time around i want her to win so so much because i really dig her and i can't that other chick doesn't speak very good english and she's not pretty so that's how i feel about that but tony versus fucking habib is is massive it's it's so big in the sport it's so big for that weight division it's everything right now it's the biggest fight there's been in a while because like the winner is the undisputed right he's undisputed 155 man and then uh connor mcgregor presumably fights eventually the winner of that in my head i'm sure that like that's his next fight connor's next fight will be against the winner of this fight yeah i think so that's what i think and uh and uh i said on twitter like my dream come true

for this fight is that habibib misses weight and Conor steps in and fucking beats Tony and then disappears for another two years. That would be the dream come true. That would be such a fuck you moment if he stepped in, beat the guy they say he can't beat, and then Khabib is sitting there

eating his tiramisu with neither a belt nor a shot at McGregor. Well, apologies to Taylor as we talk about this one chael sunnan makes this point all the time so i'll just parrot it when a younger fighter steps in and beats an older champion and then they do that rematch the younger fighter wins just about 100% of the time. And Joanna was not supposed to have any shot, as you know, right? And I think a lot of people, you and I included, felt like, this is Thug Rose, we'll call her,

felt like not only was she not going to win, we were afraid that one of our favorite fighters might get hurt, permanently damaged, scarred on the face in a bad way like it wasn't just worried about her losing i was worried for her safety safety and then she beat joanna at striking it was supposed to be grappler versus striker it turns out it's grappler and better striker versus striker no one saw that coming the younger fighter always wins the rematch always like i it you know chael was like i defy you i dare you show me an example where it went the other way and i'm like i don't i don't know rocky four like no no no but yeah it doesn't i see where you're coming from but but but this

was this is a little different i don't know such an upset right i hear you i i i'm just pitching it it it fits here jail says it all the time and he's always right about that so he's right yeah i hope he's right too i want rose to to kick her ass i saw jay check's like mouth guard says still champion or like champion or something like that like i want i want her to get her ass kicked i want her to eat some humble pie want i want her to get her ass kicked i want her to eat some humble pie and i want rose to i like rose i find her fascinating i think in other sports i don't see like the carolina hurricanes dancing around with their stanley cup from 2005 like we're still champion no bitches like there's actual rules to determine who's champion, and it's not you.

Yeah. But, man, Habib, like, Habib versus Tony is such a cool fucking fight because it's going to, I think right away, you're going to know who's going to win. I think after the first round, even if it doesn't end in the first round, you're going to be like, oh, Tony's got this, or, oh, Habib's got this. Because either Tony is going to, maybe habib takes tony down but

tony starts doing crazy damage from the bottom that's the way things could go maybe habib can't take tony down because tony is just so relentless with leg kicks and and maintaining distance and you're like well he's not even if he does take him down like like tony is teeing the fuck off on him habib can't can't eat this for another two rounds. He's going to be game over. Or Habib takes Tony down and wallops him and grinds him for the first round. You're like, well, I know Tony has the cardio to go five rounds of this, but he can't win this way. I think you're going to know after round one who the winner is going to be.

As you probably know, a lot of times when a guy is dependent on the takedown to win a fight, if they don't get that in the beginning they're not going to get it when they're tired and slippery you know fighters seem to have like five six takedown attempts in them and if they don't work out then they just are cruising for a bruising yeah he's very good at it though you saw what he did to uh rafael dos anos or whatever you know like like there's a guy who's an incredible kicker johnson um i i thought dos anjos had a much better chance of defending the the takedowns but you just saw him dumping his ass over and over just just throwing him on the ground and just getting on top of him and holding him there and and you know it just seemingly weighing twice what he weighs most recently is that no i think michael

who did most recently recently michael johnson's last one ah yeah yes yeah good call yeah and then johnson before that and then dos anillos before that i think um yeah he's he's 25 and 0 for a reason part of it's because he fought some buttercups part of it's because he fought some buttercups. Part of it's because he's just a fucking Dagestani Eagle. And he's going up against Tony, who's like... The kid in me really likes fighters who sort of have this, like, kung fu sort of weird, unorthodox thing about them that makes you think, like, oh, so fighting's sort of a mystical thing, where, like, the guy who's been hitting blocks

and I don't know what you call that pole with the arms on it. Tony Fodison combines Thai fighting, Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and acrobatics. And it's just like, wait a minute, what was that third one? He does lots of spinning shit and finds odd angles to hit you

and takes a lot of risks that seem to pay off i mean he's the champ yeah it's he strikes in such unorthodox ways the way those elbows the way he throws those elbows when you're expecting a a straight or a hook like he's just to watch him flow with his striking is almost hypnotic like like like throw that guy in a music video i i'd watch him flow with his striking is almost hypnotic. Throw that guy in a music video. I'd watch him in a music video set to hard-hitting rap music, just hitting a bag or hitting like a... I want to see it now. I want to see you take a holographic Bruce Lee

and have Tony fight him in a rap video. I'd watch that shit over and over. That'd be one of those late night videos. Like, what's Tony fight Bruce Lee? You know what's fun? I don't consider either Khabib or Ferguson or Khabib to be all that sane. Like, whenever I hear them talk or interviewed,

Khabib is like so single-minded focus, it's weird. And Ferguson is weirder. And it's this match of two people who can't seem to even fathom the idea that they're not a hundred percent right in all these weird situations and i i don't know like a lot of fighters and cormier is normal right he has highs he has lows he's a fighter but he's a regular guy he's a dad he's great um but these people are weird and i love that yeah i think part of it's the language barrier with habib uh you know you know he they're like what are you gonna do he's like i'm going to win you know i win this is what i do you know i feel like maybe he's more maybe he's more fluent in english maybe he'd have a

a more uh colorful like description of how he thought things were gonna go because you know i take him down he can do nothing i smash a big smash that's what i do i love it yeah but i swear i've heard him he literally said that they're like they're like he's like it's unfortunate because i like him but you know now i have to smash him like you have to smash him. You have to smash him? Yes, you have to smash him. It's great. Taylor, for your benefit, the way Khabib fights is very much the way the Hulk fights. He gets on top of you and sort of uses his elbow and forearm area,

as well as a hammer fist kind of thing, to just pound on top of your head like this for as long as he can. I mean, I wouldn't want that done to me, so it seems effective. He gets on top of you, he pounds of your head like this for as long as he can i mean i wouldn't let that done to me so it seems he gets on top of you he pounds on your head and he'd rather not be doing that he'd be like taylor give up you know we both know how this is gonna go just tap out now okay reason where elbows it that literally happened in a fight like two fights ago like he's beating the dog shit out of Michael Johnson and Michael Johnson is like clearly losing but has heart so he's just taking

it and Habib's like you know I must be champion you know it is me I earned this just give up it will be over Michael Johnson like I think he slapped him in the face like he come up with like a little like thing like this and hit him in the face and Habib goes it's great all right you're gonna hit me you're gonna

like give me some bitch slap i'm gonna smash you about 30 more times in the fucking head michael enjoy your concussions concussions dude this is gonna be great uh the fight that it this is one of those super bowl cards, right? They make one or two a year where they say, you know what? We need a special one. And this is one of those. And it's going to be cool. Lozon's going to smash his guy, too.

I really hope there's some. I want Connor to do a thing. I want this to be the moment where Connor steps out of the shadows. Just like in WWE, he would. He's been missing from the scene. I want the winner to happen and then him to, like, run into the cage and be like, that's my fucking belt you got there. Like, I want him to do a thing.

I think this could be his best time. This is the best timing for him to, like, to do a thing. And I'd love to see it. Dude, I like Max Holloway at it, man. You know, Max Holloway keeps calling him. He tweets at him a lot and max is like you're a retired fighter like who you've been talking about you're the champion of 2014 no one cares about you anymore and he's just so good at it he's just constantly like

you know i guess he got a tony the tiger sponsorship or something or a burger king right and he's like you're not the king you're the king of burgers now no one cares about you you're not a fighter anymore oh my god holloway rips mcgregor's shit apart at trash talk connor used to be the trash talk guy now max holloway kicks his ass at it constantly i'm just sore at connor because he doesn't fight his last mma fight was 2016. Get out of here. Let's watch this clip that Chiz just linked us like 10 minutes ago or whatever. I guess this is happening right now.

After Kit got off the show with us, he went to do his stream or whatever, and I guess this just happened. Okay. I can't wait to see this. I think what this is is one of the scammers tried to access his remote computer's webcam, and this is what happens. All right. I'm just... Okay. Ready, set, okay. Okay, sir.

What was that? Why are you doing that? What was that, sir? I'm sorry? What was that? Why are you... Okay. That wasn't as good as I thought it was going to be.

I guess he just put a jump scare in the camera to fuck with the scammer when he tried to access his webcam. I like it. Yeah. Yeah, I like him a lot. Everybody should go check him out. Want to wrap up there? Yeah, I think so. Alright, check out our sponsors, Casper and Dollar Shave Club. There are, of course, links down

below where you can click at those wonderful deals from both of them, and check out Kit. And he's linked down below. It's Kit Boga, K-I-T-B-O-G-A. Let him know we sent you. Really funny stuff. Check him out.

One last thing, Taylor. St. Louis might make the playoffs. I'm trying not to think about it too much. I think their odds are better than 50-50. 62% now. Is that what they say? Yeah, they updated it than 50-50. 62% now. Is that what they say? Yeah, they updated it after all the games. 62%.

That would just be pool of numbers for my ass. All right. Painkiller already, 379.