Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #387

Episode Date: May 25, 2018

This week on PKA, our pal Anthony Cumia is back and discusses Artie Lange coming onto his show... then leaving it, then returning... then having to leave again, as well as some more reminiscing about how bad Opie was from the old O&A days then announce the title of his autobiography he's written. But we only head there after we get an update on WingOfRedemption's life, come on it's PKA.

Painkiller Ready, episode 387. Anthony Cumia is coming in about 45 minutes-ish. So if you're here for him, I don't know, scroll ahead or something. But for now, it's just a... Wait. We've got good stuff. Yeah. A few sponsors tonight.

Casper, Audible, and Stitch Fix. We'll get to them later on the show. But yeah, we've got good stuff. Don't skip to Anthony Cumia, you degenerates. You know, I kind of like the shows without a guess sometimes i don't know sometimes i like it when it's just the guys of course yeah of course yes kyle do you have a topic you want to kick off with there's a couple we all right so there are those out there who don't like wings talk but i believe they are a vocal

minority so look we're gonna to do some Wings Talk. But if you expect there to ever be any more Wings Talk, those of you who enjoy Wings Talk, you need to speak up. You need to let people know that you enjoy it, you like it, and you want more of it. Otherwise, I'm going to have to listen to this vocal minority. Yes, band together, as Chiz said. I'm going to have to listen to this vocal minority and just cut all the Wings Talk. We're either going to get a lot of people agreeing with you

coming out of the woodwork or that vocal minority is going to reveal itself as not as big a minority. And that's fine too because we're here to please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would be fine with that as well because we're here to please. We don't want to be talking about stuff that you guys don't give a shit about. We've curtailed a lot

of sports talk and any number of topics that it turned out people didn't care a lot about so we go to other things we we nhl playoffs and i've brought it up almost none everyone except for like the six good ontario boys up there oh hear about it please it's hard for me to resist it's been six weeks since we talked about fitness talk baby um i feel like kyle's girlfriend almost at this point right he's like look we just need an open communicative relationship right you need to let me know how you're feeling what you like what you don't like and we'll proceed from there you guys are kyle's girlfriends oh and also the the ama questions we get from you guys i really like how a lot of you on the patreon level to

ask the questions a lot of you are sending in images of yourself wanting to be fat shamed but too many of you are just not fat enough so you either need to put on like 80 more pounds or some of you seriously fat people need to send some in so we have a little more because some of you are like make fun of me and it's like yeah you're like 30 pounds overweight, but you're like a summer away from looking fantastic. You know? So, we need some really, really fat patrons to chip in.

Yeah, so Wings has been playing Rainbow Six. He has a limited friend group. A limited group of people who will play video games with him at this point. And he likes rainbow six which is a team game it's pretty important that you have a team i don't know a ton about it but it seems to me that there are no people who just go into that game and just play it by themselves you

don't you don't do that especially if you're playing ranked steep learning curve it seems too that too a difficult game to play uh so he's been playing with a couple of underage girls. Now, I got to ask you, Woody, would you be playing video games and socializing on streams with 16 or 17-year-old girls? No, but I don't want to throw them under the bus too hard. No, no, no. I'm not looking for that. I want to know what Woody himself personally as a man would do um as a i'll tell you what like i i think no it's just a man who changed my answer i think i would play

with them it's not like i'd boot them from the lobby but these girls were talking inappropriately they were almost that all right so here's the background people don't know wings was in a stream there were two girls they were 17 right so there's going on 18 and it seemed to me they almost led the inappropriate talk like they were pushing it and wings didn't push back he just joined in right they'd say he had a small penis and he'd say that's not true ask the chat and everybody knows what i'm packing right that's not how i respond to a 17-year-old girl, right? What he should have said is like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Is there a bad guy in the kitchen? You know, someone, work shield or whatever, you know, stick to the topic. This is not what you do with underage girls. Taylor, would you play video games with underage girls on live stream? If I was doing like a, like I get Woody's thing of like,

like if I was doing running a team and like a 15 year old boys in there, a 17 year old girl, like a 16 year old boy, like I'm not going to single out the chick and be like, oh, you can't play because you're a chick. But if like any of those,

of those younger people start talking about inappropriate shit or trying to coax me into it, I'm going to be like, that's no. One or two warnings and then kick. I absolutely would not play with any underage girls on my team. I play with little Middy, and he's fucking borderline. Like I tell him every day, a hole is a hole.

You could be a victim just like anyone else. He's a cutie. I understand your temptation. He's a little fella. So Kyle, you're playing Rainbow Six, or whatever the game is, and you get your full team, and there's a 14-year-old boy, an 18-year-old boy, a 17-year-old girl, a 16-year-old girl, and another 18-year-old guy. You're saying, alright, 14-year-old boy, you can stay. Girls, you're out of here. No, well see, that's not the case. Wings assembles his team. Is that what happened for sure?

Yes, these are his friends. He case. Wings assembles his team. Is that what happened for sure? Yes. Yes, these are his friends. He plays with this girl on a frequent basis. See, I don't have all the backstory. He knows these girls' real names. And I have a list of the many inappropriate things that have come up between them. This guy said he was talking about his penis size. He made rape jokes saying, quote, three nos means a yes to the 14-year-old.

And then he said, my battery is low uh that someone said my battery's low and wings piped up and said that's shay's worst nightmare shay is an underage girl of course he's referring to shay's dildo perhaps being low on batteries and how that would be a bad thing like rainbow six call outs the two girls the two girls are having a bit of an argument between them, perhaps. And Wing says, uh-oh, chick-on-chick action. Later on, he said, let's see. All girls think they're going to be pricey until they get hooked on crack cocaine. I do remember that.

She was saying she was going to be a high-end escort. She was saying that. The girl's talking about literally being a prostitute with wings, this underage girl. And I think one of the girls said something about someone having a two-inch dick or something, and then it kind of flipped over to maybe wings has a two-inch dick. And he says, you wish Geordie had a two-inch son. One thing you don't know about Jordy since you didn't follow me on YouTube. Well, you need to ask the chat. So, and this one in the chat that she's just put is actually my favorite one. Y'all make might make fun of my five XL t-shirts, but that's just more gas tank for the love machine.

That's a good line wings. I like it, personally. I wish it wasn't said to a 17-year-old girl, but otherwise, it gets my stamp of approval. All right, this is a little bit different than the scenario I thought it was. I thought it was going to be like, all right, I got my lobby open, jump in and play,

and then we're going to start playing. But this seems to have taken a bit of a turn. Now, tell me how long this girl goes. Say that again, Kyle? He assembles his squad that happens to have two underage girls in it, and he goes. It's not like randoms are joining the lobby. He's like, all right, invite girl number one, invite girl number two.

All right, got both underage girls in here. Now who else can I get in my party? Look, I don't think Wings is a pedophile. First of all, being attracted to a 17 or 16 year old does not constitute pedophilia. We went down that road before and we've defined what a pedophile is. And it's it's it's little kids. It's sexually immature people. And while we haven't seen these young ladies, I I don't sound like women to me. I said, I don't I don't think Wings cares about... Never mind. I don't think this is pedophilia, though.

And I think Wings was just caught in a bad spot. But he needs to be more careful about what he says. Because later in the night, he said another dumb thing. Right? He comes back. He rage quits the stream. Right? He says, oh, I got to get off and delete this vod real quick before someone downloads it

and starts making fun of me of course they're recording it live so it was already being uploaded by the time he figured that out so then he comes back online and he says uh all right boys we're going into the lion's den and i'm like what the fuck does that mean at this point chis and i were watching ice poseidon build a house in his backyard so we were like we gotta switch we gotta switch over to Winx. He's going to the lion's den. What's the lion's den? Sean Ranklin's Discord.

He goes into Sean Ranklin's Discord, just unannounced, pops in there, and he discovers a lot of the people that he thought were his friends are in there. And not only that, one of the guys even calls out a guy. He's like, you remember Predator? Remember that kid Predator?

He donated to you. He modded for you. He loved you. Wings is like, yeah. He's in here now. He's just muted. Wings is trying to like tangle with this mob. And he's asking them.

He's like, why don't you people like me? And they start airing their grievances they're like well a festivus to remember this one this one guy pipes up this one guy pipes up he says man i was playing with you he was my hero i played with you i loved you i donated to you we was playing modern warfare 2 and you said fuck you you're dog shit remove yourself from my friends list and i've hated you ever since and like each person had like a story like they're like one guy was like i donated he's like i donated 500 to you and then you banned me and he's like you want the money back no i don't want the money back dude can i

interrupt for that thing is why like you were asking me hey would you kick a girl out of the party or whatever it might sound crazy to some of you, but there are people out there who, like playing with me would be the highlight of their week. And I take that really responsibly. Like that weighs heavy on me. That's why I'm nice to people. Like there's two reasons.

One, it means a lot to them. Two, that one little interaction with me will be their permanent impression. It will override all of the online stuff they've ever seen. So don't be a dick. That's critical. And so this whole Sean Ranklin is one of the clip channels, correct? The premier clip channel.

The current top dog. The premier clip channel. Yeah. Okay. He does good work. So he hopped into there. And was this all being streamed, I assume, by that discord? So Wings streamed all this.

Yes. Wings streamed all of this. Wings streamed himself going. That's what he was like. By the way, I like it. As a show, good going, Wings. Oh, yeah. Wings is like, you know what?

I'm going to go into the lion's den. We're going to live stream. We're going to stream it live. Wings knows what the audience is looking for. He knows why he's hot right now. Oh, please. You're giving him way too much credit. He stumbled and fell backwards into some entertaining content. That's what happened here. Were way more people

watching that stream than his normal stream? He went from 250 to almost a thousand Someone fucking with him like no this isn't 62 IQ. This is 4d chess 250 that we're watching Dark Souls to like 930 I think was the peak right around there for the Into the Lion's Den stream. This is 4D. This is Rooftop Connect 4. It was.

He's doing his damned, I don't know. You just pick a random place and then a board game and put it together. Underwater backgammon or it doesn't matter. It went on for a while with him in there like arguing with these people who are just random people, you know, who dislike him for whatever reason.

And they each take their turn answering his question, which is, why do you hate me? And what would it take to get you to stop hating me? And the guy says, he's like, all right, my turn, my turn. When are you going to get the fucking surgery? I donated for the surgery and he's like i'm getting it in a week i'm scheduling it in a week and they're like they're like you said you were getting scheduled in a week two weeks ago and again a month ago and again three months ago

and he's like well my schedule's my sleep schedule's fucked up it's been fucked up yeah but what you don't understand is i need my mama and And look, y'all can make fun of me needing my mama to schedule this all you want. Most people don't even have their mamas to help them out with something like this. I'm lucky. And they all laugh at that, of course. And then it went a little bit further. And they said, that's open from 12 to 1220. Every other Tuesday. They're like, you keep saying you're going to quit this saying you're going to quit. You're going to quit streaming YouTube right after you get this surgery. How are you going to do that?

And he's like, well, I expect to lose 250 pounds by the end of the year. And they're like, that's absurd. Boogie had this surgery and he hasn't lost, he didn't lose 250 pounds in six months. And it was a more effective surgery than the one Wings is planning. Yeah, and he was a heavier guy.

So percentage-wise, he's likely to lose weight faster. He's like, well, Boogie most likely cheats. And then they blow up. They're like, whoa, Boogie's cheating? He said, quote, Boogie is cheating on his diet, on his weight loss plan. And so they really sunk their teeth in on that because everybody loves Boogie, right? He's the bastion of positivity. He's a real nice guy.

He seems to be fighting through all sorts of complications, the things with his wife, his health, this weight thing. Of course, trolls on the Internet. But he keeps an upbeat, positive note about himself, and we all enjoy that. He goes right after Boogie, and he's like like well why i'm not saying he's cheating i'm just saying maybe he's cheating and the life that's just as bad i'm just alleging he's cheating i'm just posturing so i i just in the interest of being as accurate as possible one wings also said boogie's an inspiration that he really likes him that he's a good guy etc there was and two i'm like 99 sure boogie himself has said maybe

on this show or maybe in his videos that he's had moments of weakness little imperfections here and there not that he's not on a diet he is on a diet you can tell in his success but he you know we're all imperfect i know i am on my diet so yeah but the the just random attack is what it seemed like it seemed like the sort of ways that he'd randomly go after us every now and then like oh but to get a little bit of clarification was this like you said an attack was this like a like he was a vitriolic towards but that's where i wanted to jump in passing i felt like it was more like loose lips and in the family of excuse making right and and that is where wings live that's where he's born and bred the excuse making nothing is his fault nothing's his responsibility nothing is his like of his own doing so when he says i'm gonna do this and you know boogie's done this cheating somehow it just tied into more like

it just it fell into the family of excuses for me i can't explain my line of thinking and the sleep schedule thing to me is particularly unacceptable right he's like my sleep schedule is fucked okay who amongst professional youtubers hasn't had a screwed up sleep schedule at some point right yeah well does every other week it's like cyclical yeah yeah so that's but wait that's where wings is going he's like by next week i'll have come around to a normal sleep schedule again and that is the window we'll use to schedule the surgery. Oh, my goodness, wings. Like, the smallest amount of effort could get that corrected.

You know? You don't need to correct it. See, here's the thing. Okay. You need to fix your sleep schedule if Monday morning you got to be at work at 8 a.m., you got to put in a full day until 5 p.m. and then you got to drive home safely, right? But if you're an adult man and you got some shit to do Monday, we can go with no sleep. You just go with no sleep, right?

You just be like, oh, I've been up. It's 6 a.m. I'm going to take a shower. I'm going to drink two cups of coffee. I'm going to get in the truck and drive to mama's house, right? You just do it. You just go and you're like, i am i'm pretty sleepy guess i'll just do what i've got to do but i'm a house or walk to mama's house i'm confused he drives to

mama's house okay okay well he lives in mama's house he drives to where mama stays to just set up an appointment for this i feel like you could do that all over the phone right he's already had consults and so it wouldn't even be about like having to drive three-way you could do that all over the phone, right? He's already had consults, and so it wouldn't even be about having to drive his mom. A three-way call could get that done. If he goes to bed at, let's say his sleep schedule is truly effed up, and he goes to bed at 9 a.m., he could just set an alarm for 1 p.m., wake up for 15 minutes, make the call, and then just hop back to bed. Or this. Let's say it's 6 p.m., and he feels the need to go to bed. Anyone who's lived this lifestyle knows he's waking up at midnight if he does that.

He could have two cups of coffee and then go to bed at 11. And his sleep schedule is actually fixed. It's not that hard to do. He doesn't do drugs, would he? The drug of coffee. Okay. I don't think he does drink coffee does i think that's something that he definitely get yourself the g fuel you'll get some caffeine a little lead you'll be all set he should get some pre-workout that's what's weighing in town right now i'd be funny if he

was like well i'm 460 but i think a good 8 10 pounds of that is from the lead from the g fuel over the years i don't have a bad making fun of them but because i really like the guys the g fuel over the years i don't feel bad making fun of them but because i really like the guys at g fuel i'm an asshole for bringing it up but um the oh we like them we just don't like their poisonous product that's true yeah you don't want to go crazy like denethor cutting those tomatoes you know i was telling kyle before the show i have seen things come in and out of what's healthy and what's unhealthy when When cigarettes first came out, they suggested that the soldiers smoke them. It gives you something to do, smooths your nerves. In World War II, they were pushing cigarettes on everyone.

Now they're unhealthy. Then I've seen eggs. They called them bad when I was a kid. Now they're a good source of protein. Who knows? Who's so sure amongst us that lead won't be an essential mineral in 2020? You act like you know everything about nutrition Lead is the only thing in the environment that naturally counteracts fluoride

That's why they tell you it's bad for you Romans ate it all the time, they lived a long time, I've been told I think the research is in on cigarettes It turns out those doctors from 1959 were correct I don't mean to go politics on it It was actually I think during Clinton That they took on the cigarette companies for the first time Because they were huge donors

In the 80s there was actually like confusion as to whether or not cigarettes were bad for you yeah everyone kind of knew in the 60s the companies knew ever they're like you know we're we're uh we're hawking poison out there you guys know that right oh yeah yeah yeah nothing takes my mind about that poison we sell them nice smooth cigarette yeah all right let's get back to selling poison they didn't care they care it's making them rich so anyway on the wings thing like i i didn't see him do anything truly evil but it gets painted as truly evil and i just wanted to throw that he's not actually a pedo but he did have borderline inappropriate conversations with the 17 year old girl he i mean he told the 17 year old girl come to my house

he will drive slowly so that you're 18 by the time you get here that seems reasonable to me yeah yeah um that's a sound strategy i mean how many times have you said that to a girl, Taylor? Well, never. Ah, shit. But I'm not a jokey guy.

Bad example, I suppose. Oh, and Wings, if you catch this, don't reply to the pedo stuff. I really think that this can blow over, and they'll go back to richards

and asking you how much you weigh if you just let it go i first of all you guys should let it go because like look it's funny it's funny to joke around about but some of you are like no you're a pedophile he's not a pedophile what what this what this instance this whole scenario is highlighting is how socially inept the man is. Mock that. And starved. But don't try to paint him as a pedophile because that is a very serious charge. And I don't co-sign it. He's definitely not a pedophile.

He doesn't like underage girls. I mean, he likes them. He plays video games with them. But he doesn't want to fuck them, at least not until they turn 18. I think that, to me, you said it highlights how socially ineptept he is i think it highlights how starved he is for female attention so much so that he'd rather get it over xbox live from someone he shouldn't than not get it at all sure sure yeah but yeah so what is uh what's he getting the most flack for of all that right now? They're calling him a pedophile they ran him off stream today

He hopped on played a little God of War rage quit within 15 minutes. He played God of War He he turned God of War on he played for 15 minutes They were fucks don't break your toy. We all want to see him play god of war uninstalled that bitch he was like that was 60 dollars weight wasted apparently this is what he said he was like if i can't beat a game on its hardest difficulty then i'm not worthy of that game but then he could just practice at it that's what the comment said they're like just practice at it. That's what the comments said. They were like, just practice offline. He's like, nope. Nope. I want to play God of War in its hardest difficulty.

I'm not claiming I'll do well. I just want to see what's up. It's only PlayStation, though, right? That's a showstopper for me. That's exclusive. It looks like a ton of fun. I watched a whole video that shows the storyline. The story seems to be interesting uh i i

would play it if i had a playstation 4 that would be funny kyle is if you got someone out there one of our uh listeners who's really really good at god of war and you just had them like secretly send you a whole game worth of footage and then you just like on super difficult god mode whatever it is and then you just like just jokingly fake live comms as you're dominating and god of war. Man, people talk about this game being hard. I don't get it. Does it go higher than this?

Is it higher than Uber God or whatever? I don't know. Get under some people's skin. Oh, that would get under Wingskin. Wings would. Read that for everyone. Chiz wrote, if I had a PS4, I would beat it to spite him right now.

What you guys might not know is Chiz is good if I had a PS4 I would beat it to spite him right now What you guys might not know Is Chiz is good at video games Chiz, how many Xbox achievement points Did you have in like 2012? I think that's more of an analysis Of time spent No, no, no, no, no He masters the games

He gets 1,000 He has 80,000 gamerscore right now And he has 60, 100% completed games. And he's not playing My Little Pony. He's mastering all of the games. He's got a link here of his achievement. We were just talking about this yesterday. Chiz was like, I'd love to challenge Winx to some sort of gamer off

where we see who can master the most games in a limited amount of time. He's like, I would destroy him. Chiz is like 15 platinum trophies. He's got a bunch of 100. Winx has four. You know, it's not even comparable. I don't think I've ever completed a game 100% like outside of the main quest.

Like some of those things like for Skyrim is like, ah, you've defeated Gorlok, the final dragon. But have you collected all of the clay pots in Azeroth? It's like, no, and nor will I. Chiz is, so I've said it before. Chiz is really good at video games, like more so than people might guess. And I like achievement points as a measure, kind of, because it shows the breadth of it, right? Like, I don't want to talk out of hand here.

Chiz might be better at video games than, like, Optic Scuff. Scumpy is who I'm going for, right? Because Scumpy devotes most of his time to just a couple of games to get best in the world at them, whereas Chiz has played hundreds of games. And if you were to just drop them both in God of War, I don't know, Chiz might be better just because of the experience he has

across all those different games. I'm trying to see if he mastered Bioshock because that's one of the difficult ones. Is that one that you've mastered? I don't remember, but I seriously doubt it because one of the challenges was you had to beat the game without ever using the revivification pod or whatever it's called in that game,

which basically means you can't die the way I remember it or something like that. It was absurd. Oh, he says Wings has. Wings has mastered that game. Very impressive. Yeah, Chiz is very impressive too. I don't know who's better, but they're both very good. Chiz is better. Okay. He just said that to bother Wings.

Depends on the game. It's not like anybody's gonna check her math but i yeah i i i'm a little disappointed there isn't more god of war footage because you guys called him a pedo online i would have rather seen him play god of war than than get teased well he he quit mostly because he was failing at it again he had forgotten what the buttons did and it just went to complete shit um but yeah don't call him a pedo he's he's not a pedo so people might get the wrong idea um you know make fun of him for whatever you want but not a lie you know what i mean like like don't make things up about him because then you sully your own good name uh you You should really be pointing out things

that he's actually done or said or been about, not some sort of like... But you'll run out of material there quickly, Kyle. Never will he run out of material there. Never. He'll give you a whole new batch every week. So just don't call him a pedo. That's not cool.

He's not a pedo. And it's an insult that... He's worried that it will have real-life ramifications. I don't think him a pedo that's not cool he's not a pedo and well it's an insult that like he's worried that it will have real life ramifications i don't think it will but if you do it too much like maybe it will let's not let's not try it out let's not try it out you know because he's not actually a pedo don't mess with it what are you thinking that's gonna backfire kyle is that what you're smiling i think when you say things like that, it's like when you ask Mr. Medica, you're like, so you're hacker-proof, right?

Like every hacker in the world's ears perked up. Like, oh, is he? You're like sticking the dogs on him when you say stuff like that. Well, that wasn't my intention. He's a real person. Stick to the truth. Well, I mean...

Almost two. It seems like very soon he'll hop back on God of War because he seems like the kind of gamer who can't just let that sit, right? Like he'll have to go back in. He does that all the time, though. It's true. Now, here's the thing I want to know. I don't know if you guys know the answer to this.

If you uninstall a game, does it wipe out your stats? No, I don't think so no she's wrote no okay because he rage uninstalls constantly and i thought that i was theorizing that maybe that was to get a clean slate no no no it's it's it's it's like he's angry he's like hurting the game he's striking back or something like this oh yeah's like, oh, yeah, well, I'll just delete you from my hard drive. Well, that told it. Getting back at the game. You've already got my $60, but you won't take up my memory.

That's what he said. He's like, that was just $60 wasted. And, like, you know, if he lost 250 pounds before 2019, that would be awesome. But I just did a little bit of math. We got 230 days left in the year, and so that would be 1.08 pounds a day. Anyone want to take any bets on this one?

I will give you 2-1 odds, and I say he does not hit the goal. I want 1,000-1 odds. You know, I might give those, too. Because I'm going to go to Conway with a bandsaw, and me and Wings are going to make out. We're going to clean the Woodworth estate right out by sawing both his legs off.

You're going to be like the greed guy from Seven. Where you just lock that attorney up in his office and you make him cut off. You're not leaving here until we get this. Pound of flesh. Yeah, Wings. Pound of flesh. Yeah, wings. 240 pounds of flesh. Holy shit. I would like to see wings get an aggressive weight loss surgery

because I think it is the right call for him. And I'd like to see him actually schedule and actually make it happen and just get recognize all the excuses we've had thus far as silly excuses and move past it and do it that that's what i want to see i have a new job another thing is if you get a if he doesn't want to get teased or whatever about this stream or the boogie stuff or whatever all it would take for him to change the news cycle is schedule that surgery for real you know holy smokes i didn't think of that would but wait he needs some sort of document because if i heard that he scheduled the surgery stream stream that shit oh genius look all he's gonna do tomorrow afternoon he fucking turns the stream on

he gets that phone that they're always mocking him about because you know they frank phone call his house phone now and it rings off the hook to the point where they've got to just take it off the hook. For each team, yeah. Pick that bitch up, call Mexico and be like, he acts like this is actual surgery to schedule the surgery. This is what you do. Hi, my name, Jordy Jordan. I want surgery. Chop, chop.

I know I blow English. Well, we've hit another roadblock one moment person on stream speak spanish i put you on with live stream whose text to speak yes we've got you scheduled for the sex change you speak english now yeah oh my god that would totally change the news and if he did it on live stream that would be better yet and he doesn't really need his mom to do this i like that's that is a silly silly silly thing he's 32 years old right it yeah just just pick up the 20 seconds of bravery wings of redemption 20 seconds of bravery to initiate this call and the rest of it will just follow through when is the last time one of you guys needed your mother

to help you with anything at all and i specify needed when was the last time there was a thing you needed to get done and you were like mom i need your help with this thing could you assist me with it must have like last time that where you needed your mom present it would probably be before you're an adult where you can't sign that stuff on your own specifically that's what i'm saying is like the last time like i needed her would be like before you turn 18 where you need like an adult to sign off on something or get a permission slip or whatever you need, right? Are you leaning that same direction? I'm trying to think.

The last time, like maybe... My mom hasn't assisted me with anything since high school, you know? Honestly, my mom hasn't assisted me with anything since high school. I don't think there's anything wrong with him wanting his mom's help with it. But I think there is a little bit, you know. I think the fact that he's. I don't blame him at all for wanting some family support. It is probably scary going to get a surgery.

But I think he's using it more as a perpetual roadblock that he's keeping their place before himself. I want to answer the mom question. I think it is bad that he needs his mom to set this up. And it's scary. Fuck, you're 32 years old. Don't be scared. But I haven't needed my mom question. I think it is bad that he needs his mom to set this up. And it's scary. Fuck, you're 32 years old. Don't be scared. But I haven't needed my mom for a long time, but I do still tap into my father. Sometimes it's business advice or tax talk, you know, setting up accounts and stuff.

Advice is different. Now, you don't say to your dad, hey, dad, could you do my taxes for me? No. You don't say, dad, could you could you do my taxes for me no you don't say dad could you come fix my lawnmower for me the blade the blade stuck you might if your dad knew i don't know if your dad is a lawnmower guy but you might call me hey i've the bearings went out of my lawnmower is that something i can do myself do i need a press to to put the new bearings in or i just buy them at home depot right it's the 65r bearings yeah yeah all

right cool i'm gonna go do that now that's what wings could do with his mom he could be like all right so i call there and i ask for the the scheduling department right all right i'm writing that down scheduling department ask for them first um and then i you know give my name my information what other documentation will i need with me mom okay i'll need my social security number and uh credit card so they can immediately charge me $5,000. And the dates. I want to specify the date. Okay, okay.

This is literally what he could do. Yeah, Chiz just mentioned he could probably do this via email. You could send an email at 2am and they'll get it as soon as they come to the office next morning. Of course they can. It's a complete non-issue I wonder if wings understands that

they're not on the same time zone as him but it wouldn't shock me to be like you know here we are it's June 2nd I made the big call but surprise surprise it wasn't the same time there and we need to wait till July this

could take a while but yeah wings just just really i i really feel like it's it's a courage problem not a scheduling problem it's not about your sleep schedule it's not about having your mom around it's just for some reason you're not picking up that phone and getting it done just do it just just Just, just press the numbers on the phone. They'll answer it and it will flow from there. They do it every day. They'll guide you through it. Yeah. I understand he's very stressed about it, but like, I bet this seems like one of those situations where the stress is just compounding the longer you put it off. Like I bet as soon as

you make that call and it's set in stone and it kind of internalizes the like, all right, this, this change in my life is going to happen. bet you're you're going to feel better actually like some of that anxiety is going to go away you're going to be like well it's kind of set in stone this is going to happen my life's changing yeah it's for the better the thing about surgery and you talk to i don't i've had so many surgeries i don't know how many surgeries i had i had two last year i know that um it's not that big a deal because it's not your job. All you do is show up and fall asleep. Someone else

takes care of everything for you. He's good at that. Chiz says he's anxious about the skin surgery. I didn't know the skin surgery was riskier than the weight loss surgery. That's interesting. That or you go into what's...'s see as a

non-surgeon i just would imagine they kind of just have a nurse hold it out and then you get some clipping shears uh-huh and you go across the way oh get with it they use the electric hedge trimmers now you're so out of date taylor but uh yeah you can't do that one in Mexico. It's going to look like a fucking square hedge or something. Oh, jeez. Mexicans are the best landscapers. What's wrong with you, Taylor? We put a peacock on your sternum.

No, dude. I think differently of that. So he's worried he's going to have a meat apron, right? That somehow after he loses 250 pounds, he'll be less attractive to women because of the loose skin. Right? So. I bet you could fuck that meat apron.

Like imagine you got yourself a fistful of that stomach skin and you just jerked off with it. I bet it's like a pocket pussy. That is wild. Imagine. I just remember. You don't even have to clean up. So the thing about the skin surgery is that's not a problem. That's a prize. That is an issue you deal with when you've had success.

And it's free weight loss. When you have that loose skin, it's like 30 pounds of skin they're going to cut off you. It's great news. You don't feel bad that that's on the schedule. You feel accomplished when it's your turn to do that. Yeah, and you can look like i guarantee wings has spent time going through google images or like those surgeon sites and seeing the before and after of the skin pics and they look some of them look pretty good yeah

you know like it's not like yeah he could use it as a squirrel suit and and and have an incredible career in that right like imagine him you see those videos of the guys jumping off the mountains and then like gliding down at like 150 miles an hour but they have those fancy suits they have wingsuits yeah he has a wingsuit i like what you did yeah i i can't imagine i hope he just goes ahead and schedules it if wings if you see this just make the call Force yourself to do it It'll be a rough few minutes because you'll be so stressed But as soon as you hang up and it's set in stone

You're going to feel better You can even ask a boogie and I bet that's how he felt too Wings, you have the money So first make the phone call, schedule the surgery When that's locked in Schedule the hotel and the airplane And you've done it you've changed your life i already scheduled the airplane but the thing about that is it's a lie

but the thing about that is he doubled down yesterday he said you know you just you just move those tickets around however you want willy nilly. When I heard him say that. Where you can just be like, ah, fuck that, move it. And they're like, no. Do you remember, I hate to bring up this poor thing to pick on wings, but when he thought you needed a passport to go to like Chicago or something. No, did he say that? Yeah, he did. And that combined with the whole he was on like the U.S. Starcraft Olympic team,

it just forced a real disconnect on what he knows about travel. And it all sort of came to light. That happens again in my head when he talks about readjusting. If you want to change the dates on your airplane ticket, if you get a cheap ticket, they just fuck you. They're like, oh, no, no, you can't just change it. If you get like a full price expensive tickets, they fuck you less. But there is no way you could just change the dates willy nilly.

And I feel like Wings doesn't have enough experience with airline travel to know that. And to know that when he tells that lie, all of us who have traveled many times. I don't I'm not bragging because I'm sure there's somebody out there who has like a business where they literally fly every weekend and they've been on hundreds of flights but i don't know i'm like a platinum medallion member for delta like i've been on 80 something flights like i've flown first class and and like like the gambit you know from the best seats to the most shitty seats every airline virtually though mostly delta because i i really like delta a lot those of us who know what airline travel is like hear that and we're just like you're lying to us and you don't need to you can be real with us on this part this is just a

a senseless lie you're telling that doesn't even benefit you it just makes you look silly yeah yeah that's one where the huge swaths of the population immediately see through it and when you lie when people lie and then you get caught in these lies and things go wrong they start to question all the other things you've said and and that's the spot he's in he just recently he's like look people know me as this liar but i haven't lied in years and then he told a lie on that call that we all saw right through yeah don't do that all right another topic and this same thing i said before the wings topic there are some people and this is even more foolish than the wings people who think there's too much ice talk now here's the thing about ice poseidon

he does a new thing every week we're not just harping on how ice is like weaponized autism and how he's a silly goofy guy Like it's not just beating a dead horse. We're covering the insane Entertaining ridiculous things that he has done this week now if that doesn't entertain you then you I believe are again in a very Small minority those of you are it if not speak up those of you who absolutely hate ice talk, but here we go I think he's not doing his uh his RV thing and that's over. That's over If not, speak up, those of you who absolutely hate ice talk. But here we go. He's not doing his RV thing anymore? That's over?

That's over. They charged them several thousand dollars extra for the damages that were incurred. They charged his car $10,000 on day two of that trip, and he had a standoff, basically, with the owner of the entire RV business who ended up calling Sam Pepper. They had this video conference on live stream where he's like, we were watching the whole time. We were, you know, when you had that guy drive who was uninsured, we were all biting our nails, you know. But it was really entertaining, and we just want to sort all this. Any amount that's less than the $10,000, of course, you'll get that back.

But we took an enhanced security deposit when we saw the break checks, the accidents, and stuff like that. So they got all that square. That's old news. This week... Who's Sam Pepper? I know this name. He's the British guy who currently has red hair who was a YouTuber. He was hated on the internet like three years ago,

right? The social experiment? He still is. Okay, I'm out of date. Carry on. He's one of Ice's buddies. They do shit together. They went habsies on the RV, so he was part of the conversation due to the fact that his name was on the contract. So this week, Ice did

CX Fear Factor. Now, he ended up calling, or CX Factor because Fear Factor contacted him and said, stop calling this shit Fear Factor or we'll sue you. I love that. Is there just one dude sitting in an old warehouse that used to be a rotted Fear Factor?

With some cockroaches and bull semen. We do not want to be associated with you, sir. We are the donkey cum drinking TV show. We don't want to be associated with this Ice Poseidon fellas. Dude, he had contestants come in from all around the country and in fact the world to compete in CX Factor in which the contestants undergo five or six terribly devised, highly disgusting and absolutely ridiculous challenges. OK, now we could skip around in that video if you'd like, but let me just kind of lay out some of what I saw. I didn't watch it all because it's dozens of hours of content. Is it really 24 hours of content? Yeah, I think so. It went on for days

of four hours. Really? It seemed like it was going on for days that this thing was happening. Four hours? Really? It seemed like it was going on for days that this thing was happening. Here's what I saw. They started by making them all get on their knees and sign a release. Like, sign that fucking release. I don't want to get sued. They all signed the release. He black bags them like ISIS and leads them outside and puts them in a van and drives them away. Then they all get those, you know, Friar Tut from Robin Hood?

You know, the haircut that he's got where he's just all shaved bald. Like a male pattern baldness thing. Yeah, but really accentuated. He gives it to every one of the contestants, including the blonde girl. Oh, wow. Yeah, and he has a black homeless man as a contestant. Now, while they're shaving their heads, the man with the clippers with no guard, he isn't doing that thing. Like, this is the end of the clippers, right? My fingers.

And, like, this is the head. You would kind of go at an angle, right? Sure. And sort of scoop away there. He's like. That's not how clippers work. No, it's not. And that's why he's getting them all bloody on this scary homeless man's head

before he moves on to the others. And they're like, is there blood on that? And he's like, I washed it off with some water. And they continue shaving the heads. All right. At one point, they were bobbing for monkey placenta, fried monkey placenta, and bowls of blood. Where do you get that?

And bowls of pig's blood. All right? Where do you get monkey placenta? The zoo? Sounds like a whole pig's thing. Amazon? He's like Kramer. He's got a monkey placenta guy.

Pop, pop, stick him in him. He's got monkey placentas. He deep fries them. had a monkey placenta guy five second minute he's got monkey placentas he deprives it they're walking down the street with leeches attached to their face begging people to take them off and he'll give them five dollars yeah you got to see who can get the leeches removed by strangers the fastest right so they're strangers tearing leeches off of people yeah yeah and i know i'm no steve irwin but the way you're supposed to get leeches off isn't having strangers pull them in a time-based event

well i will say as far as time-based events go the rules weren't really set out very well because when it came down to the end and of course there was uh oh then there was then there was cockroach sushi now you may be wondering what the fuck is cockroach sushi? Well, it's sushi that you stuff cockroaches into and then soak in pepper spray. I mean, honestly, I think it'd be worse to eat it without the pepper spray. Oh, you're wrong. Because then you'd have to taste the cockroach, right? No, my friend, you are very wrong. The pepper spray made things much, much worse.

They were gagging and their throats were on fire, but they got most of it down. Then it came down to only two people. There was the homeless man who just looked a fright. And there was, what do they call it? There was Shy Andy, a.k.a. Gay Andy. How many Andys are there? What you have to keep in mind here is their name isn't actually Andy.

I didn't know that! I really thought they were only... They just take their funniest or most silly attribute, they put it in front of Andy, and then you've got gay Andy, Asian Andy, Mexican Andy, Andy.

Handy Andy. I wonder what Andys we'd be. If we participated on.... I wonder what Andy's we'd be. If we participated on would I be old Andy? I don't know which Andy like it. Anyway. So. They get down to these final two contestants who

they had had their heads in these bags with pepper spray in them for long periods of time. So when that comes up, Shy Andy is crying. Shy Andy's crying and he's sort of vomited all over his shirt and he's looking real fucked up and they say all right shy andy we're gonna sequester you you go in the other room and we're gonna shoot homeless andy with a paintball gun and we're gonna time it until he gives up till he yells uncle and time it right it's stupid why not just count the shots it's absurd we're gonna it's absurd it's absurd it made no sense it made no sense executive producer on this carry on the

idea seems to be to put them through as many as much pain as possible under the the guise of we're seeing who's the toughest keep in mind this, this is all happening. It looks like the set of a Saw movie. They're in an abandoned factory basement with big exposed stone walls and pillars. The floor has like a drop cloth, like rubber drop cloth thing on it, covered in vomit and roaches and pepper spray and saliva and all sorts of illicit liquids. It's disgusting. And they send shy Andy into the other room, and they start shooting homeless Andy.

Yeah, Woody, if you would, open this video up and just start skipping around through it, maybe with it muted, just to give an idea. Okay. And so they start shooting homeless Andy. But the CO2 keeps running out, and they keep arguing over the rules. Like, oh, he moved, he moved.

And they're like, we'll give him another shot. Let's do it again. And he's just like, oh, shit, not again. And they just keep putting this homeless man up and shooting him with more and more paintballs. The paintball gun's getting pointed everywhere. There's people not wearing masks. It's absurd. In the end, shy Andy wins it all.

He got the uh you might be thinking wondering what was the grand prize right because they won like eight thousand dollars that time someone like spent a night in his closet right just surviving in a closet only a thousand dollars really a thousand dollars he's like uh shy andy what are you gonna do with all this money he's got the money he's like save it i'm just gonna save it oh you're just gonna save it huh yeah yeah i'm just gonna save it and then they're like ah well it turns out uh someone donated five hundred dollars to you homeless andy and homeless andy fell to his knees and started crying with gratitude and it was real sad and then like a lot

of people started donating more money like hey give this to homeless fucker over there this is my five bucks to him i'm sure you didn't get any of it but it was a nice gesture nonetheless it was so entertaining dude it was so entertaining to see like this half-assed fear factor thing with disgusting challenges and people actually being injured and violated. It was ridiculous. It was ridiculous. And the girl with that Friar Tut haircut. I don't know.

Ice is very entertaining. We watched him for four or five hours last night. He decided he was going to build a house in his backyard. And by backyard, I mean like one of those little walled-in patios that's like 40 square feet or something like that. Like, so small. So small. He time-stamped it for her hair

if you want to show the audience her fucked-up hair. So he's building a house in the back of his rented property? He's building a giant dog house on his patio. That's what it boils down to, honestly. It's real ridiculous. Scuff Jim Carreyrey who apparently uh beats his dude he looks like jim carrey he does look like jim carrey dude he dyed his hair purple and then

gave himself a fryer tut and he wasn't even on fear factor and i don't mean he like trimmed it with a trimmer he got a razor out and made it shiny bald in the bald spot and uh and they're giving him a hard time right now because i guess he beats his wife uh his wife posted you know who amongst us has no flaws right that's what i said the man's funny just to look at him the funny is that we were watching last night and every time the camera would go to scuff jim carrey and like he was down on his knees like working on the little dog house streamer house ice is talking about making people pay him like 50 bucks to stay in it. That's the power of Ice at this point, I guess.

That people will pay him money to live in a plywood box on his patio with no couturements. Just out there in the elements. I'm trying to get a good view of Ice. Because I want to see... The eyebrow's not quite back yet is it oh no those take a while it's gonna be a hot second i don't think your eyebrows grow quick but mine do oh but yeah taylor has a superpower it's like wolverine eyebrows i just Just puff out. Oh, well, Mr. Anthony is ready. You want to hit him with one of our fine sponsors,

and then we can get Andy Coomey in here? I like that idea. Yes. This episode of PK is brought to you by Casper Mattresses, and our listeners are invited to take advantage of Casper's competitive, limited-time Memorial Day sale offer. Casper is the place to shop for Memorial Day mattress savings this year. They sell directly to you, eliminating the added cost and saving you money. You can be sure of your purchase with Casper's 100-night risk-free sleep on it trial, and returns are hassle-free if you're not completely satisfied. Casper has three mattress lines to choose from, the original Casper,

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Casper is the sleep brand that makes expertly designed products to help you get your best rest one night at a time. Casper products are cleverly designed to mimic human curves. Oh, well, it just keeps going, man. It just keeps going. You link me the ad reads, and I read them. If it keeps going, I keep reading. Oh, I'm making this up?

I'm making it up? You think this is coming off the top of my head like I've got to memorize? Hey, there's no reason to make up anything about Casper because it's such an excellent product. Yeah, delete your spaces. I didn't know why they were there. There were spaces in the middle of the ad read. Well, this has nothing to do with Chiz's formatting and everything to do with Casper mattresses, which are an excellent product that I sleep on every night.

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Or if a young lady is sleeping on a Casper mattress, you can sneak in. These are all options. So check them out, Casper mattresses. They're excellent. Give me shit about my ass. You put it in front of me, and I read it. I'm like Ron Burgundy over here. It could be all about the Jews or anything.

I'd be reading it well isn't that something hey what's up anthony hello there uh-oh are you coming are we coming in for you of course i can't hear anything those glasses oh you hear me good oh those of you not on video are missing out how was bingo

it was working for everything else I love that he can't hear you while you're busting balls everything sucks this is a new look yeah it's um ah fuck i can't plug in my stupid uh so you still can't hear us no i can hear you now okay i can hear you now but uh it's just like hearing you coming out of my laptop over here

you're coming in fine for us yeah yeah well okay we'll screw these then I think it might be funnier if you can't hear us we got tons of material I know right put the glasses back on I know it really is like Uncle Junior from Mrs. Brown.

Oh, my God. Those are some junior glasses from Mrs. Brown. My eyesight is great at a distance, but reading or looking at stuff, I'm gone. It's a blur. Getting old is not for sissies, huh, Anthony? You have to hold the menu out here. I'm beyond that. I have to take glasses with me.

I have to, let me see. Oh, the veal parmesan looks good. I'm shopping for phones. Who among you will make an even bigger phone? Do they sell iPads with cellular? Have you moved on to a jitterbug yet? As soon as I saw him, I was like, where's my jitterbug? You never have the makings of a varsity athlete.

The Artie Anthony Show brought to you by Life Alert. Let me, wait a minute, I have to call. So what's new with you? It's been a hot second. I know you had a since we had you on last, Artie wasn't even a part of the show. And that, my understanding, has really blown up Compound Media in a pretty big way, which is great. Well, the funny thing is, in between the last time I spoke to you guys and right now,

Artie has come and gone. So that's the news. We had Artie for about eight, nine months, I guess, and now Artie has to take care of Artie. I knew it was going to blow up into the guy. He's got his issues. It's no secret. The guy's had problems with drugs for years. So at this point now, we have to.

He's in the hospital. So we have to just, you know, the idea of him, he needs 24 hours a day, seven days a week for like a year at least to take care of this. So we're in a position where he can't every day at 4 p.m take two hours out of living his life and and surviving uh what's his drug of choice heroin and cocaine oh yeah it's the old those are very good ones i'm told yeah it's the old china white i watched one clip. I think it was on YouTube where you were sitting there with someone.

It might have been Voss. But then Artie was just sitting there, you know, clearly in one of his funks. And his nose just started bleeding in the middle of the show. And it's like, Jesus Christ. Dude, I love that. It was so bizarre yeah he's sitting there and you just start seeing this trickle of blood coming down uh really creepy but boy interesting that's good content right there he's always running his hands are all shaky he's knocking

shit over left and right i watched a compilation of water spilling. Someone made a compilation. And you can see with the episode numbers, it happened over the course of a month. We're just spilled a half gallon of water. Oh, sorry. Oh, here it's up. I had one here for you.

Yeah. I love Artie, too. I watched him since... I love his comedy special i love that awful movie he made right like i loved him on stern like i like fucking arty like when arty left that show like that show went to shit for me oh yeah like and i followed arty after that you know i i i want the best for that guy but he just seems like one of those characters that just really struggles to get that problem in

line i feel bad for him i wish him the best man i really do everybody i mean if it wasn't arty everyone would be saying about this person i wish the person would die already he it's just he's such a pain in the ass fuck him all that shit but everyone loves the guy he's so funny he's the nicest guy just that big lovable lunk kind of a guy and he happens to constantly be on a mission to kill himself yeah so you know as a friend it makes it very difficult to to be his friend not because he isn't a great guy but because it's just you know you're watching someone destruct right in front of you. And, you know, there were a few people that wouldn't do the show since Artie came on board my show.

Just wouldn't do it just for that reason. Not because Artie's an asshole or you don't like Artie. It's because they loved him. And someone, you know, like Colin Quinn, as a matter of fact, said he could not sit there and look at Artie in that condition and do the show. So, you know, it caused some rifts. I remember another one. David Tell is a very good friend of Artie's and has been through all kinds of shit with Artie.

And when I first hired him, he I was at the comedy cellar and he says uh anthony so you got a arty on board i'm like yeah he goes well welcome to the wonderful world of arty the phone calls at 3 a.m bailing them out lending money that you'll never get back welcome we we embrace you i'm like oh it can't be that bad oh boy it was all right so chis taylor you just linked that image there of arty's nose now it's fair to keep in mind that he did get punched in that nose and that is at least 30 of why it looks like that yeah yeah he uh he he got punched that night in the nose. But I think he got punched because it was already a good target.

Like a bullseye. That's a rough look. I saw I think another thing that's happened, I think, since last time we had you on is Opie got fired. since the last time we had you on is uh opie got fired yeah and i wondered i see the smile there and i was wondering like uh man i wonder if it's crossed either of their minds to get something back together or if anthony is just so like fuck this dude never again i'm not gonna get you know 20 minutes into that first show back and be like oh no i'm back on greg shells wait yeah i'm walking on greg shells again it was uh we had actually thought about it uh keith who takes care of all my business um over there at compound media he spoke with opie about it um we kind of had this plan that we wouldn't do a show together he would have his show on compound media i would have

my show and maybe if anything ever happened on a friday or something we kind of cross paths and do something uh he of course did what he always does never got back to us i don't know dude i'm thinking about it dude maybe and then just would leave us hanging. So we finally just said, fuck it. You know, we're done. Deal's off the table. And he went and walked around with an iPhone for eight months in the city. Oh, those were uncomfortable.

I only watched like two minutes of one. And I'm like, all these poor people on the streets of New York just getting accosted, basically. I'd rather see a Jehovah's Witness or a Mormon walk up to me yeah it was just it really was this it was him walking around going dude look a newsstand dude this is crazy a guy's selling pretzels dude are you homeless it's new york property i could destroy it's been a while history's nearby no i that guy always ruined the show man i i i love going and listening to the old uh ona shows and it's very little oh and that i care about it's when you got jimmy on there and you guys are riffing on like the two-headed girl or

or that lady with all the dead cats in her fucking house or or like the canadian psa commercials with kids getting crushed by cars and it's fucking gold and then he'll say something and i hold on hold on yeah hold on hold on hold on Yeah, hey, Snowy from Michigan. Snowy's on the phone. What do you got? I'm like, oh, shut the fuck up. Snowy doesn't have shit. This is gold we're rolling with over here.

Shut the fuck up. Someone needed a mute button for him and just not tell him that it was on. Just let him go a whole show without saying a word. Yeah, people took a bunch of shows and edited everything he he said out of them and they're called nopey shows i've literally gone on and watched clips of old ona and like he'll go on a tangent i'm like god damn it like you know jim and aunt were just riffing on something really funny and then i found the nopey shows. I'm like, Oh, these are, these are great. You know, they're shorter. You'd get a show where we would have like Patrice O'Neill,

Rich Voss, Colin Quinn would be in the studio, all these Louis CK, and just bullshit and back and forth. And it's brilliant. Just shut the fuck up at that point. You really don't need to chime in or, or say that we got to go to a phone call uh and he would do it because i think he felt so powerless in that studio and with those people that he had nothing to contribute yeah so he contributed fucking it up like like the kid that has to kick over the sandcastle that someone built because they didn't build one so you know i and dealing with that for 20 years was quite enough for uh your friend yeah his brand of

comedy was completely different everybody else is riffing and just being spontaneously funny which is such a difficult thing to do and he is completely inept at that he just wants to go let's go uh let's go smash somebody's guitar let's go uh let's go break something and get a reaction yeah it was always some kind of um he tried to be shocking yeah and if it's organic it's hilarious and uncomfortable and funny uh but if you just do something like hey look i'm gonna do something. You're kind of looking like, oh, really? Are you? So, you know, to throw a monkey wrench into a great conversation just to be outrageous or to fuck with somebody's personal property just to be outrageous,

it came off as really lame. So, you know, as I said in Spinal Tap, no, no, we shan't work together again. That's probably a good decision. There was one, I don't recall the exact details of it, but someone at one point brought in poker chips to give to Opie. And that's a clip that I can't even re-listen to because it makes, I actually feel bad for the person that gave them. There was another clip, like I know a lot about the old show,

where Jimmy got a drill that showed up there. And, you know, Jimmy took a funny route where he's like, I'm a fancy man and you will send me fine new cordless drills. You will not send me used product. And it's like, he's clearly fucking around. He's joking. But Opie, like he took that guy's or that lady, that guy, I don't recall. They're poker chips. And I think he just threw them out the window. He's joking. But Opie, he took that guy's, or that lady, that guy, I don't recall,

their poker chips, and I think he just threw them out the window. Like a gift that he just received just out the window into New York. He threw them at the person that brought them in, and they went flying. And I remember just going like, oh my God, what is he doing? Why would he do this? But that's all he had. And you know how some fans can be also. They're like, all right, that was awesome he that's all he had and when you get you know how some fans can be also they're like all right that was awesome op and they they like get him going for the next time so he'll he'll want to do it again and uh you know it with the times i sat there with amazing comics great

personalities jim norton thank god was on board at point. I wouldn't have lasted as long as I did. Yeah. Those are the moments that I just remember as some of the funniest things that I was ever part of on the show. Jimmy's the fastest mind I've ever seen. He's so quick with anything that you throw at him. He'll come up with a punchline. He's fucking brilliant. I love watching him do anything. there's so many times i would be sitting there and i'd be the one like the wrath of of jim's humor and goofing on me about something and i'm the one laughing the hardest because it's brilliant it's cutting it's hilarious it's true like all that shit jimmy's able to throw at you and you you only love him like there's no way you'd look at jimmy bashing the shit out of you and go oh that son of a bitch i can't stand

you just laugh your ass off because it's so funny yeah yeah i really he you and jimmy made those shows what they were i i fucking love him i still love doing a chip chipperson show with him over at riot cast yeah yeah yeah hilariously infuriating to have him play a character during the whole show uh and i fall for the same dumb jokes and things that i'll be sitting there and go so uh anthony how was your vacation i'll be like like, oh, it was great. I went down to Florida. I went there once, too. I went with my mother. And I'm like, he never means for me to finish. But I go into it like I'm actually going to be able to convey a story.

And he gets me with it every time. And I laugh my ass off. He's just a he's brilliant, man. I love him. So what's the deal with Sirius? Because I thought you were allowed back. And I was very happy. he's just a he's brilliant man i love him so what's the deal with serious because i thought you were allowed back and i was very happy then apparently you're not allowed back i i have no idea i was i was uh banned from the building for a couple of years yeah and then i was finally

allowed back in uh went on jimmy and sam's show had a great time went on a few more went on Nick DiPaolo's show on Sirius, he did a show over there he's recently been fired too yeah he's gone too, I saw that and then out of nowhere for no reason, no one was told

why or anything I was just not allowed back in were you ever allowed back in for sure like did you get a letter saying your your expulsion is over or did you just slide in a couple times and assume you're allowed in no they i was allowed in by the higher ups and i saw the bosses in the hallway walking to the studio and hey how you doing but But they just decided for some reason that I wasn't allowed back in. They told Jimmy this. They said, no, he's not allowed in the building.

Yeah, I remember hearing Jimmy talk about that on his show. I listen to their show a lot. Jim and Sam's show is great. Yeah. Can we blame Stern for this somehow? Or is there some way to reach around and find it and make him the villain? I don't know if I'm blaming Stern as much.

Actually, I don't think so i i would blame opie ah that'll work we can work with that yeah yeah yeah we don't like him and he was talking about some lawsuit that he has against sirius for um firing him without cause now opie went into the the public bathroom at sirius the the public bathroom uh took out his camera and recorded roland on the toilet over one of the stalls and uh thought it was hilariously funny and talked that he was going to put it online and stuff he showed it to a couple of people um in the studio that day uh and roland was pissed about it yeah the the complaint made it to management uh management was you know in this day and age you don't fool around with cameras in a fucking bathroom. What, are you out of your mind? So they fired him.

And he honestly believes he has some kind of a case to not have been fired. Now, that is insanity only Greg Opie Hughes could conjure up. Now, I think if he does have some kind of lawsuit going or he's threatening or lawyers had contacted Sirius, they might be thinking, well, what good does it do us to have his partner in there who might say do something and then sue us? Also, he could slip on the floor, crack his head on a desk and say, oh, I'm suing you. So I think legal might have gotten in there and and put the kibosh on me going in. Yeah, Opie's full of shit, by the way, with a lawsuit.

Yeah, obviously. I don't know if he thinks he's doing a bit or he's actually a compulsive liar. Because everything he says and does has this just thread of either dishonesty or just complete outright lying in it. The reason you got fired is here's a couple of bad tweets right is that it was yeah they they had actually the reason they gave because it's always racially charged tweets anthony's racist tirade anthony's this that the other thing the reason they gave me was that my tweets had a violent undertone to them that they couldn't allow. And that's why I was fired. Because the truth of the matter is, there wasn't any racial slurs or any racist diatribe going on in my tweets. I was assaulted in Times Square by a black woman.

I talked about how she acted like a savage. I use the word savage because it was a savage attack. And I talked about how there's this weird jump to violence that came up that evening that I don't understand. And it seems to be an issue in certain communities. And so, like I said, my biggest problem, I think trying was being so angry at what happened and then trying to mix it with social commentary i should have just you know been angry and left it alone so uh but i didn't use racial slurs i didn't do anything like that uh and they said oh because i i had added one tweet that because i was armed that night and i said uh someday she's gonna walk up to somebody and pull that shit,

and they're going to shoot her in the face, unlike me, who walked away and wrote some angry words on Twitter. And they said that that was violent undertones in the tweet, and I was fired for that. Let me ask you this because I'm curious. We had Titus on the show a little while ago, and Titus had his own sitcom.

And if I remember right, executive producer wanted him to cheat on his wife in the sitcom. And he talked down to her in a real negative way. Like she was three years old and laid out all the reasons it wouldn't work. He calls it his $30 million mistake. Do you feel like you have a multimillion dollar mistake? Like if you just not made a couple of tweets, alternative life?

I think maybe my life would have been on a kind of different, maybe a parallel highway or something. Because at this point, honestly, I'd have been fired five more fucking times. I mean, you've gone through, through what five twitter accounts since then yeah yeah with each twitter account it would have been another job like i completely i knew that our days were numbered there whether it was the lack of any kind of rapport with opie or uh butting heads with management them getting tired of uh of what we were doing on the show or what I was doing on the show, I don't know. But the bottom line was, I didn't think that would have lasted anyway.

Now, the fact that I got Compound Media up and running so quickly, and now we have so many shows and subscribers have come aboard, I'm fine. Like, I don't think that I, uh, lost, um, much revenue because of it. So it's not like I blew millions of dollars doing that. The company knocked wood is, is doing really good. Um, and like I said, I don't know if I would have just been fired and maybe the timing wouldn't have worked out as well uh with starting compound media like the everything worked out perfectly for the time it happened uh you know have you and uh jimmy

tossed around the idea of doing anything after his contract with uh i don't know if they're going to get renewed or not i don't know how well their show's doing i haven't listened to it much uh like unless colin or someone goes in uh i just don't have serious um have you bounced that around with them at all because that would be a great show to get you two back together oh hell yeah we've we've talked about uh that if not doing a show together at least uh having um segments where we do something together or just you know some kind of presence where it's uh us doing something that's why i enjoy doing his show when he does Chip. I enjoy doing that so much because I'm working with Jimmy.

You guys are excellent together. It's so good. It's easy. I mean, the rapport that we have back and forth, we know how to make each other laugh, and that makes everybody laugh. It's just one of those kind of really good chemistry things that we have. Yeah, in a perfect world, I'd like to see Artie get well

and you, Artie, and Jimmy do something together. To me, that's like a dream team, especially with the guests that you guys could pull. It really is. Me and Artie clicked really quickly. We clicked so fast. You know, he fixes the nose up you can't pull colin colin to be on pka

come back to see the rejuvenated arty right yeah we want to see him succeed and forget the heroin like he can do all the hair he wants he needs a little lose a little weight while he's at it too like yeah yeah i remember well nobody remembers slim arty but i remember just chubby arty that that looked like he could hit a softball like it yeah yeah you know that that um somebody that was athletic in high school and then kind of let themselves go a little that was that was what arty was now he looks like someone where i don't know it'd be hard for me to guess his age. Like somewhere between 40 and 91.

Yeah. We had Martin Cove on yesterday. You know, the sensei from Cobra Kai. Oh, yeah. And the guy's in his 70s. And he looked great. Like he's active and he still looked good, you know. And he's 25 years older than Artie. Yeah.

And like he just looked so much healthier. And, you know, obviously it's when you put enough drugs in you over the course of a lifetime, it's going to take its toll. He's got to find some weight loss drugs, right? Some of them must make it. Crack! Could he not do crack? Those guys are thin. He's already doing cocaine. The thing is that he can do cocaine and not lose weight.

You got to eat a lot of meatball parmesan to outweigh that cocaine. I can't even imagine. Can he take up smoking? He does smoke Man, he smokes and does cocaine And he's still gaining weight

The man has a talent He's so talented I'm sure you have, but for the audience He can recite The Godfather Oh, I know, yeah It's so impressive to hear him like like he'll go from part to part to part to part just it's like he's got the screenplay in front of him it's that's you know that's so much fun when we would sit there and me and him would just go off on movies

and start doing lines to movies and and talking about tv shows from our childhood. And if we had a guest in the guest seat, they're sitting there like a deer, like in headlines, they don't know what to do. Me and Artie are laughing our balls off talking about shit that no one knows about, like obscure TV shows or movies. And it would be hilariously funny, but the guest would just be shell-shocked,

not get a word. There were some guests that literally spoke for maybe eight minutes over the entire two hour period because me and Artie would get going on something and you can't fit yourself in there. Yeah, they're just sitting there like, I don't know any quotes from all these fucking WAP movies they're talking about. There are only a few people that could could do that. One was Dave Landau, who he's co-hosting the show with me now. And he's really fast. He knows how to get in there. But he also knows when to hold back if a conversation's going on.

Because you could easily just, you guys know, could be stepping all over each other. And that doesn't make a good show. So, you know, how you guys know talking, it's a conversation. He knows that. So it works out well. Some people just got shell-shocked, though. One of my favorite old, like, it wasn't a very regular bit that you did back on ONA. But I think I've only done it once or twice here, totally ripping you off and joking around,

is when neither Opie nor Jim watched Seinfeld, and you would tell stories of a Seinfeld episode, and you would get through scenes and scenes and scenes, and then they tell me, I can't deliver to the street across from me. Why would they tell you that? Didn't you tell them? I'm just right there. And Jimmy's like, sincere Jimmy, all worried about it. Sincere Jimmy's like, what do you mean they wouldn't deliver?

I'm like, I was on the wrong side of the street. The street was the border and they wouldn't come up. Like all that shit. I loved doing it because I've been just the hugest Seinfeld fan. So I know every little nuance to the stories. And to tell the story like it's really happened to you isn't that hard to do if you're a fan. To tell the story like it's really happened to you isn't that hard to do if you're a fan. The hardest part of it was watching Travis in the booth

because Travis is another just insane Seinfeld fan who knew exactly what I was doing, and he couldn't look at me. Like, if I made eye contact with him, I'd start laughing. But to see Jimmy so sincerely getting annoyed by what had happened to me was just insanely funny. He would be like, fucking assholes. Who's gonna keep a business alive

with that kind of customer service? Oh, people these days. And you're like, I know, right? And then I would leave it, and then they'd be like, wait, that was a Seinfeld story, wasn't it? Like an hour later. Oh, that was great. We should try to do that to Woody later.

Try thinking of a good one. Oh, Anthony would be the one to do it. Oh, he doesn't watch the sound effects? Well, he doesn't remember the details. He may have skimmed it. He multitasked. But whereas I've watched every episode like eight or nine times,

like I watched it when I was a kid, I fucking live and breathe that show. We were talking about Mr. Marbles earlier. Every time we hear a noise in the house, like, Mr. were talking about Mr. Marbles earlier. Like every time we hear like a noise in the house, like Mr. Marbles? Mr. Marbles? Yeah. That show just never gets old.

I probably rewatch that entire series at least once a year. Yeah. And it's always sunny, has become for me like the new Seinfeld, just a dirtier one. You know, that would have been an okay show, but DeVito in there makes it spectacular. Yesterday was the 20th anniversary become for me like the new seinfeld just a dirtier one you know that would have been okay but davido

in there makes it spectacular yesterday was the uh 20th anniversary of the final episode of seinfeld when it doesn't seem like i watched that final episode like i'm only 32 but i remember watching that shit like like it was a big deal we were all like yeah it's the last one isn't that crazy you were 12 years old when the freaking show yeah my parents let me watch anything i can remember like in the fifth i watched x-files growing up a lot and i remember going in to the my fifth grade classroom and like i sat next to the teacher and i was like did you see that episode last night and it was the peacock episode called home where there's this uh this band of incestuous freaks who are like fucking their mother and like trying to produce oh that was fucked up right there in

that like cabin and they were all deformed and shit yeah they the mother had no legs from a car accident so she was on like a creeper that you get on to go under a car and they'd sick episode they'd wheel her out from under the bed and they'd take turns each fucking her and uh trying to create a new baby and then like the episode begins with her like giving birth and they're like cutting the umbilical cord with rusty scissors and then like the baby dies so they like it doesn't die actually it's so malformed that they're just like and they just bury it alive in the baseball field out back. And I'm, what, 10 years old in class,

like, did you see that shit last night, Ms. Harrison? She's like, yeah, that was awful. There were some twisted episodes of X-Files, but that one, I think, is the weirdest, like, sickest because of that incestuous angle they took with it. It was the only one rated TVMA, Mature, and they only aired it twice that I can remember. They aired it twice. But to this day, that's the one that I show people if they've never seen The X-Files before.

Let's watch this one, because they've got this Andy Griffith angle at the beginning, where the sheriff is this kindly black guy who I think maybe Nate is named Andy and like you think that he's gonna make it right until these three dudes show up at his house one night with baseball bats and beat him to death and cold blood and you're like oh well at least his wife hid under the bed sufficiently well and they drag her ass out and beat her to death with the bats as well so it's a comeback to the x-files i didn't i've never really watched the x-files i thought it was a show about like looking for goblins or something uh mostly i mean yeah there was there was that storyline that that

continuing storyline and then the separate stories that kind of interwove through the yeah you know molder's sister and the ufo thing and all that stuff huge governmentwove through the Mulder's sister and the UFO thing and all that stuff. This huge government conspiracy where the shadow organization has made a backhanded deal with the aliens so that some of them survive, and they become the slaves to the alien race, and there's a virus.

That's the overarching storyline. But there's monster of the week shit. Yeah, there were standalone episodes that you could just watch as uh kind of a weird thriller yeah yeah very good show i like i liked it yeah i always want to fuck jillian anderson so bad that's every so often there is a hollywood celebrity that is obviously hot but i don't get why she got singled out as super hot right she's just regular hot to me scarlett johanneson johansson johansson i think yeah are you gonna say that she's just kind of regular hot regular hollywood hot right i don't see why she's not as hot or why she's hotter than like all the other chicks on the X-Files. I must also strongly disagree.

This happens to me all the time, right? Even most girls, when they get that pixie haircut that only other women tell them looks good, so they look better in comparison. So when they're out to brunch, they're the one getting stares. She even looks great with that. Who's the chick from Twilight? Kirsten something, maybe? Twilight.

Kristen Stewart. Kristen Stewart. Kristen Stewart, thank you. To me, Kristen Stewart is hotter than Scarlett Johansson. Bullshit! Kristen Stewart is average at best. Kristen Stewart is the Hollywood chick who I'm just like, what the fuck? She's flat chested. She's got resting bitch face. She looks like

she should be a milkmaid somewhere. She should be at Cracker Barrel Oak Country Store getting mediocre tips. She should be working the front counter at a courtyard. A courtyard Marriott. I've seen her naked multiple times. She's got fucking perfect titties. Big old ass. Beautiful face.

And she's the Black Widow. That's a lethal combination. I recognize I'm in the minority here, but I think Kristen Stewart is way hotter. She's just tight everywhere. That chick is lethal combination. I recognize I'm in the minority here, but I think Kristen Stewart is way hotter. She's just tight everywhere. That chick is in shape. Yeah, like a young, supple boy. Yeah, if you like young boys, that's it.

You know, now you're all being judgy. I'm a judgy. It's 2018, guys. Me too. Oh, man. Leave a comment who's hotter between scarlett johansson and the twilight gal uh stewart because i i'm gonna i i'm anticipating a torrent yeah look i recognize jennifer lawrence right to me jennifer lawrence is hot but i don't get why she's super hot and worse yet amelia clark i think

that's her name from uh uh game of thrones game of thrones thank you uh amelia clark is below hollywood average i would say i would say most of the women in hollywood are better looking than her oh that's the perfect picture of scarlet that's the one that was on reddit the other day and the guy was like like like i spent my teenage years dreaming about tit-fucking Scarlett Johansson. That's the picture that he would jerk off to. Why would that fantasy stop in your teens? It hasn't for me yet, though. Well, this is just a gorgeous, fucking, almost perfect woman.

And Kristen Stewart. She's carrying too much body fat kyle you're oh wow that's judgy that's not very fat accepting of you do you just call her fat yeah that i that's why i think i like a a fitter girl yeah here's here's the pick here's the one that really gets woody going yeah look at look at kristen stewart there oh so fit this is a terrible picture but i'll show it in that ball cap on backwards oh she's looks like she's about to go hang out with the boys i can't format her

very well to show everyone this picture there we that's a little better um yeah that is not her best picture but have you seen her titties she's got like an a cup and an a and a half cup oh here's no no but you have me curious now nothing wrong with eight cups eight cups are the new d's baby like i i forget what's that even mean uh It was some porn star talking about it It might have been Stormy Daniels, I'm not sure But she was like, you know, I had these implants Oh, it was a YouTuber who was a porn star Anyway

And she's like, now all the porn stars have little A cups I wish I had little A cups That's what she was saying That's just kind of the direction that boobs have gone I disagree Everyone else would No one likes those big fake nasty titties that boobs have gone. I disagree. Everyone else would.

No one likes those big, fake, nasty titties that are looking in different directions like a retarded person. But I think everyone likes a medium to large size natural titty, you know? And there are many kinds of titties, of course. I like our torpedo tits, for example. They're very much straight. Oh, you've talked about this before, multiple times.

Yeah, I love torpedo tits. But those are natural, and they're both pointing in the right direction. You don't want that what the fuck is that guy's name? You don't want the Forrest Whitaker nipples. He's just looking in the other direction. He's got a lazy eye tit.

A big, hot-as-be-eye ball. He looks terrible. We were talking about him recently like he i think we were saying he's got the eyes of like a 19 year old labrador like totally milky white like can't like his cataracts are awful he doesn't even want to see the world to see all the grimaces his eyes look like when you go to a uh a store fish and you're like, yeah, not that one. It's not. That film over the eye. Scaled over. He's been in the tank too long, boys.

Let's. I can't get any pictures of his eyes. He's wearing glasses now. I want to. He should wear some dark, dark glasses. Yeah, no shit. He's getting what's coming to him. Did he do something?

Yeah, he raped 50 women. Did you just make that up? No, what he's talking about. What are you still talking about? Forrest Whitaker. Forrest Whitaker's cool. He's a great fucking actor. He won an Oscar.

When he's that African dickhead. Thank you, Taylor. I was still talking about Forrest Whitaker. I was trying to show pictures of his eyes to the audience. Yeah, now imagine those are titties. I'm trying to think. You wouldn't want that. But yes, to get back to Kyle's point, Bill Cosby did rape many a gal.

50 women. He's been declared, ruled guilty now, right? The bicentennial rapist. Yeah, he just lost his case recently and i don't think they're finished sentencing yet he's claiming that he's blind his lawyer was falling asleep in the court proceedings the day before he was sentenced someone sent me a he's like he's a fucking nodding off like you know that guy's getting paid well too if he's cosby's lawyer he's got that pudding money he's still got it yeah Cosby

I don't think he's gonna see jail though or prison he won't see it but he's going I think there's gonna be a hardship thing they are gonna pour out the oh my god how many years does he have left he's blind he's crippled I think they'll

slap something around his ankle and shove him into his house and tell him to drop dead. Maybe he kills himself. I feel like he deserves some sort of punishment because when there were 10 women accusing him, I had some hope for Dr. Huxtable. I was like, this might be a conspiracy to try to take another powerful black man down, just like they did to OJ, right? Just like they did to Michael Vick. Strong points. You know, two strong, wealthy, innocent black men in their prime just cut down by racism and lies.

And I thought, they're coming for Cosby now. They're coming for Cosby now. That's what this is. But then 30, 40, and then 50 women came out. And it's not just like Janice Dickinson. It's not just like dirty old Hollywood whores. It's like women who are in their later years who are chunky and probably don't want to go in front of the camera and talk about being raped by Bill Cosby. And they're just all teary-eyed.

Like, he slipped me the loons and my pudding pops. He slipped me the loons and my pudding pops. Did you see Ahmad Rashad's wedding picture from years ago? It's Ahmad Rashad. He wound up marrying the woman that plays Mrs. Huxtable years ago. And their groomsman is Bill Cosby and OJ. Oh, shit. So Bill Cosby and OJ are standing right beside him as he's ready to get married. If you can't pick two, worse fucking people.

Is Ahmad Rashad the dead dude? Is he the one that died? The ESPN dude? Who am I mixing him up with? UNC grad? I don't think so. Ahmad Rashad. Wow wow that's hilarious that photo yeah uh yes as he was or is a sportscaster yeah but imagine that they're every one of

your wedding photos that's either a murderer or a rapist have you seen the uh have you seen the oj interview where he's like speaking in the third person about well you know and then there was and then there was blood everywhere and stuff and they're like but the other person saw the blood yeah yeah he saw it not me yeah it was so much blood all over it was just shocking how much blood. It's like, OJ, wake up. You're confessing to murder. Oh, man.

OJ. He got so big for his britches with all that shit. Writing a book, you know, if I did it, this is how I would have. I doubt Cosby's releasing that well i did do it and here's my tales like no he's you wouldn't get serious balls to murder someone and have so many or allegedly murder someone and have so many people believe it and then write a book detailing your your strat he knows right that we all know yeah yeah i think he must right like out of jail now or is he oj yeah oh the juice is loose baby he's right now he's out in vegas uh

tearing it up having fun at night he's taking pictures with blondes and you know he's back out he's oj what kind of daddy issues must they have if they're hooking up with fucking OJ Simpson? No shit. Here's what OJ really needs to worry about. The day OJ really needs to watch his back every second of the day. A Fred Goldman cancer diagnosis. Oh, shit. Like if Fred Goldman ever hears that he's got a terminal disease, OJ better watch his ass.

Because that's when he's going to sneak up behind him and blow his head off. OJ's fucking lining that putt up on the fucking golf course. Hey, who's that? Is that Fred Goldman? That looks like Fred Goldman. That looks like Fred Goldman over there. What's he got that gun for? Oh shit.

And he's was hobbling away on those bad knees i'm so surprised over the course of the years fred goldman hasn't tried in some way to uh have oj eliminated yeah he may have had something to do with that whole setup job that sent oj to fucking jail right like that and If that had happened to anyone else, we'd have been like, you know, this is a fucking conspiracy to take down a rich, wealthy black man, right? It was a harsh sentence for

stealing your own shit. Have you heard the... They had audio running. Of course, it was a setup. It was a fucking conspiratorial setup against Oj simpson and nobody cared the judge didn't care his oj's lawyer didn't care oh just you ain't gonna say nothing about that just let it go man just let it slide it's not gonna be a big deal what do you mean it's out of you or me saying everybody sit fucking down nobody's going nowhere

that's what it is oh that one if oj came to you and was really wanting to get into you know podcasting an online broadcast would you make a little corner of compound media for him or would the fact that you know he's he's kind of a loose cannon say no he cordially welcome compound media. No one is denied. Put it this way. We sat, I had two meetings with Anthony Weiner about doing a show on compound media. And then he was put in prison for soliciting a 15-year-old for sex. I'm glad this was before that. Yeah. You can just be a call-in show you know you only get 30 minutes a day it's perfect for the segment when every other place says no we say yes dude if oj simpson had a podcast a radio show any sort of if he if he had some sort

of like espn show like after fucking football games it was the OJ show. He was going to have some guy from the old days, and they were going to talk about the games the past Sunday. I'd watch every fucking minute of that. Of course. Because you're waiting on him to slip up and be like, oh, he took her out like Nicole. You know, I cut Nicole's

head clean the fuck off. Y'all know that, right? Oh, shit. I say it out loud. We ain't rolling right yeah yeah this ain't on i would watch every second of oj simpson doing any fucking thing i'm i'm fascinated by that guy i'm absolutely fascinated by him i mean i don't think i want to hang out with him is he living a good life like how is he living a good life i don't know i wouldn't want to constantly be under like everyone knows i'm a murderer a lot most people don't like him we're sitting here making fun of him right now see that's not the experience that he has though

he walks around and everybody wants to meet him everybody wants their picture taken with him they want to buy him a drink they want to have a meal with him they want to do stuff with oj like everywhere he goes everything he's a celebrity he's walking around la uh vegas right now having a good old fucking time i think i think so yeah he's you know he was supposed to like a condition of his um his uh probation was that he moved to florida and he's just stayed in vegas and and I don't know about uh I don't know how he's allowed to go to bars and drink and stuff the guy is on parole he was paroled so how the hell does he get away with doing all this shit uh on film and nothing happens to him what about Cosby is Cosby living the life that i mean no no see no

no look i think i would take cosby's life over oj's life hear me out hear me out cosby lived the life of his dreams lots of lewds lots of rape good old time all the way until the last like two three years and then the last two three years are lousy and stressful oj on the other hand i mean he was like what 40 when like when his trouble started coming up and he's had the last 30 years 24 years nah i did like nine dude yeah but that controversy bothered him it made him it elevated his now he wouldn't get any more car car rental commercials all right he wasn't Nordberg anymore. Leslie Nielsen would not return his phone calls. But he was still slaying pussy.

He was still on the golf course every week. And he was still having a great life. I think that the whole murder thing put a real crimp in his style. And he would have lived a nicer life. Slaying pussy? Cosby was slaying pussy. Slaying it. There were some pills involved and the pussy didn't know. But he was having Cosby was slaying pussy. Slaying it. I mean, there were some pills

involved and the pussy didn't know, but he was having a dandy of a time. If anyone's a bigger pussy slayer, it's OJ fucking Simpson. He cut her head off. He cut it off. That's true. Woody, I don't think you're thinking about the legacy of all this. Oh, legacy doesn't

affect dead people. It affects living people. It does for famous people who kind of want their memory to live on. Like 50 years from now, people will remember Cosby as the rapist. Like everybody hates rapists. And what will they remember OJ as? It's kind of a societal thing. They'll remember OJ as like an eccentric maybe murderer. You know, like that's what they're going to think.

No way! They're going to look back at his Instagram and see after his murders, alleged murders, when he's standing there like at bars doing pickle shots with people. Whereas they're going to see pictures of Cosby in his jumpsuit with his guilty as sin looking hollow doll eyes. My argument is OJ had to live with his legacy. He spent half of his life with people calling him a murderer, joking about what a murderer he is, accusing him of being a murderer. Not to his legacy. He spent half of his life with people calling him a murderer, joking about what a murderer he is, accusing him of being a murderer.

Not to his face. Well, he's a murderer. You got to be careful. But mostly it's out there, right? Whereas Bill Cosby spent his whole life as America's hero, right? People think Bill Cosby was Cliff Huxtable. I thought he was one of them. He didn't curse in his stand-up routine. Cosby lived his whole life with only two or three years at the end of knowing his legacy. All right. So let me say, it seems like you're saying, would you rather have one life or the other, like their entire life? Yeah.

Like having lived the life of Cosby or OJ, Right. Or would you rather have their life right now? Closer to this. Like you have to step into their body right now. Who enjoyed their life more is the question I'm really asking, right? Who is enjoying their life more right now? Well, not at this age. I would say the OJ. All right.

I'm with you on there. Right now, Cosby's a little stressed, a little blind, a little old, stuff like that. But if you take the entirety of their life experiences, I think Cosby's got it all over. I think you're right there. Yeah, Cosby has had a much longer period of time. A good run. I loved him, and he was drugging chicks and having sex with them. Yeah.

That's a blast. I assume. I don't know. I assume. I don't know. I would probably pick OJ because I feel like the life experience of being a star athlete must have been incredible for him. And he was in the movies. That is true.

He was making tons of money. He was rich, famous. And it must have felt great to get away. Get away with murder. Get away with that whole thing right i remember i that's another thing that like i was a kid but i remember like going to my grandma's house and sitting there watching the fucking oj simpson trial and and just watching marcia clark run around with her perm and and and just thought the if the glove don't fit you must acquit the whole fucking thing judge ito up there just buying all this shit. Like, it was yesterday, man. It was incredible.

It really was the trial. They say the trial of the century, or they say the blank of the century all the time, and it's horse shit. That really was the trial of the century. That was crazy. That was huge. And then when they went, like, we, the jury, finally defended Arnthal James Simpson

not guilty. And you just saw Robert Kardashian actually went, not guilty? This motherfucker killed two people. Like, Robert Kardashian knew that he was guilty. And he's like, did I just hear not guilty? He's a murderer, you dumb fucks. That was amazing. I worked at a call center at the time, right? So picture a cube farm with those like rib cage high cubes as far as the eye can see.

Everyone stops taking calls. The phones are ringing. They all gather towards this one. This is the 90s. One boom box playing FM radio where we listen to the verdict the like uh the verdict get read and we were all shocked everyone was shocked that he got off and it was like that's it yeah there was a the court tv like news channels were spawned by just playing yeah they came from that trial uh court tv no one watched court tv and then all of a sudden you did not watch Court TV

and it turned into something else and now you know people are a little more legal savvy I guess I don't know some people unless you're in a car and you get pulled over and think you're a car window lawyer I'm a sovereign American

am I being detained? those are the worst people are you detaining me? I'm a sovereign American. Am I being detained? Those are the worst people. Am I being detained? Are you detaining me? Why have you pulled me over? And then he says why, and why have you pulled me over? I'm a sovereign citizen under maritime law. Under maritime law?

Under sea law? This is my ship, this vessel. It's a Toyota Corolla, sir. I am a sovereign citizen of maritime law. That's a toyota corolla sir i am a sovereign citizen that's a real thing people say that's a real thing there are like maniacs if you go on youtube and look up the sovereign citizen thing oh i've seen like they really think you can do whatever you want and like when they do get pulled over and start getting arrested and there you just get like the side footage the audio footage when their iphone falls to the ground. You know, they're actually shocked.

You can't remove me from my vessel. I have the freedom to travel and you cannot take that away from me. And they wind up breaking the window, dragging them out. And the best thing to do when a cop is trying to cuff you is fight and yell, don't touch me. Don't. A lot of times they'll just go, all right. That don't touch me thing is especially infuriating. Like people will do terrible things, maybe hit each other, hit the cop or whatever.

But the minute the cop tries to like force cuffs on them, it's like they're the victim. You know, get your hands off of me. Don't you touch me. It's always women. It is. It's always women who are like, don't touch me. Don't you put your hand. They get all indignant.

Don't you put your hands on me. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Bubble. Did you want the other handcuffs? We have a lovely pair here. Like, no, you're going to jail at that point. No one has ever gotten out of an arrest.

If they tell you to put your hands behind your back, you just put your hands behind your back. If you act indignant enough, maybe the cop will second guess himself and stop. Never happens. No? Never happens. No cop has ever had his mind changed. No cop's ever been like, oh, I'm here to arrest you. Well, let me tell you this first off.

Don't you touch me. You'll have to deal with that touching me. It's actually plus a pound of oregano. This is not the stolen property you're looking for. It doesn't work. Never. Those are some funny YouTube compilations, though,

of people going from confident as fuck to just that boulder of reality rolling downhill and eventually hitting them and they're like oh no you can't just berate officer friendly until he lets you because you can tell the more they do it like what would have been just a standard you know uh stop becomes yeah what was i doing what was i you were speeding i'm gonna flip the fuck out and then get arrested because i'm gonna like throw my wallet at you or something you know because on the other hand i and i don't know what happens when it goes to court and everything but sometimes i see people who are going to get charged with assaulting an officer when they didn't really assault an officer right like i i don't know

a shoulder brushes or or they you know accidentally step on a foot and all of a sudden they add assault to the charge and that can be bullshit i've seen ones though where like like i i feel like if a reasonable cop you know there are unreasonable cops out there that like maybe if you get out and you step on their foot accidentally they'll charge you with that but i feel like most of them would get it i have seen the ones though where like you know everything's going pretty smooth and then you know usually a woman or some will like give them just like a five star like a slap on the back like as they're turned away and it's not enough to hurt them at all but it's like that that is assault you can't just go slapping police officers now you've turned this busted taillight you know and speeding into you know a trip to county now you're going to jail

it's so ridiculous i completely enjoy the compliance that only a taser can deliver i like when there's people that just are not going screw you bad mouth in the cops fuck off i'm not doing okay okay okay oh it's so great they're like hey i want us all to be on the same page right now you shout instructions they're behind my back they're behind my back please please yeah and then uh on the other hand like the bad cops can just not notice compliance sometimes you know stop resisting stop resisting hands behind your back i am i trained paramotors with a guy who was a cop they are trained to say stop resisting as they beat the fuck out of you yeah i that was surprised by that yeah i mean yeah there are

definitely times where you see it. Like, it was recent in Vegas where that one cop was like, crawl towards me. No, lay down. No, hands behind your back. No, stand up. Do the hokey pokey. Simon says.

Yeah. And then that guy's clearly like, fucking panic. I think it was pretty clear that guy was trying to comply. He was just, I think, drunk and confused and had no idea what was happening. But that one didn't work out well. I never want it to get to the point where he has to even say stop resisting. Like that's it. If you're being placed under arrest, there's nothing you're going to do that's going to stop it from happening.

So put the fucking hands behind your back. And don't turn around to try to – like, I love when they do that. But I – turn around. Now you're getting that. Like, what are you, Jason Bourne? You're going to, like, break the cuffs, assault these two cops, storm away in their cruiser and make your way to belgium no no you're going to the county jail you'll be out in two days just chill the fuck out you maniac that's it don't risk getting shot i know uh i know chiz chiz watches live pd

all the time and i know anthony you're a huge fan of that i I love it. It really makes you feel better about your life when you watch things like Live PD, where it's like, well, I may not have all my ducks in a row, but I'm certainly not a mass-offending crack addict who assaults cops with cinder blocks. My favorite game to play in that one is try to guess who's committing the crime or who they're going to see when they pull up to the call based on what the call is. If it's a domestic, it's always white people with the wife beater and the drunk with the Molly Hatchet shirt on and the beer. PBR. with the Molly Hatchet shirt on and the beer yelling at each other. A knife, anything with a knife is usually Hispanic people.

And you've got to give African Americans the gun. You've got to give them the gunfire. Or don't. Mexicans are very stab friendly. And the excuses that come out of the white guy are always terrible because he can tell he's never dealt with the cops before he's like well she broke my leonard skinner cd that's not an excuse sir we want the black guy like everybody's quiet when you when they get there oh i don't know nothing i don't know he's been through this shit before i don't know not

my car it's not my pants. The Mexican guy. You're wearing them. The Mexican guy, no habla. No habla. No habla. They don't own anything. They don't fess up to anything. We found this brick of cocaine under the front seat. I don't know.

Ain't my front seat. You know, there's very few Asians on those shows. You know, that's a very good observation. That's so racist. I think Jewish people are underrepresented as well. That's probably true too, yeah. They're never like, there's a domestic at Fifth and Broadway, head over there, and there's some like, why you no listen, yeah? You get out, you get back in the house.

Like, it's never that. Never a Vietnamese guy with a pan in his hand or some shit. Always. You know that's intentional, right? Over at Cop's. I love Cop's. Longest running drama, I think, out there maybe. Oh, yeah. They intentionally, they were like, guys, black people are way overrepresented on this show.

You're going to have to put in a clip every episode of some white people doing some stupid shit. Or we're going to be looked at as racist. So they're just like, fuck, maybe we could frame one? I don't know. Jesus Christ. They're not as fun. It's just what it is. Like, I know if I see a white guy getting arrested,

it's probably just gonna be your normal run of the mill arrest. A black dude might run at any moment. That's always fun. They're wily, too. You'll think everything's cool. Yeah, yeah. Be wary of them. Be wary of the black.

Because at any moment, he can turn and produce a weapon. Jesus Christ. This happened in my hometown, right? The footage is on youtube right now if you want to if you search uh like lavonia police shooting l-a-v-o-n-i-a tiny town georgia you'll find this shooting right there at the zaxby's chicken restaurant which i love delicious fried chicken and they uh they pull this this this black guy is in the parking spot they're two

two cops i know i knew both the cops talking to him they're uh they're like uh keep your hands out of your pockets though sir keep keep keep your hands out of your pockets oh what i am i got nothing he pulls his hands out of his pockets he's like what i ain't got nothing on my hands as if there'd be paint on his like like gun residue would be on them standing them red or something like that and then sure enough like a few seconds later he's just like they're like, would you just step over here? And he just pulls a gun out of his fucking pocket and starts shooting them up right there. And they ended up catching him. And I know the cops there.

So, like, I was texting with one of the cops and I was like, what happened? He's like, well, he caught quite the beating later on. It's I don't understand. Like like they people will run from the cops and then it's like why why'd you run why'd you run from the police and the guy be like well my tire pressure was a couple of pounds scared that you know you guys are gonna it's like it's the dumbest thing oh i i had a ticket already a speeding ticket and i let it lapse and you were pulling me over yeah now you're going to jail rebating the police yeah if you have a speeding ticket that lapsed they're probably going to go are you aware you have another ticket out and then you're gonna

go oh i didn't realize that and they're gonna go well there's another fine added you're gonna have to pay that right away and then you're not going to go to prison. The opposite of that, of course, and Chiz and I have been up, like LA is riddled with these scenarios, right? The late night high speed chases. Like sometimes there'll be a rash of them three or four in a weekend. And there'll be the guy who's like, yeah, oh yeah. There'll be the guy who's like bank robber or like this is his third strike

or something. And he knows like when they catch him, it's game over. He'sber or like this is his third strike or something. And he knows like when they catch him, it's game over. He's going away for like 20 to 40 years or something like that. So he's going to have some fun. He's doing he's doing donuts in the middle of the highway. Like we literally see him lighting a joint up like his car has like exploded. Right. It's not working anymore. He stopped. The cops are surrounding him.

Guns drawn. exploded, right? It's not working anymore. He's stopped. The cops are surrounding him. Guns drawn. He's in the fucking car lighting a joint up and getting sufficiently stoned before he gets out with his hands up. I've seen it multiple times. What's one more charge at that point?

It's LA! He's fine! That's the only thing he's done that isn't illegal. My favorite ones are when the guy will get out and play the innocent routine but he has like uh like a latin king's tattoo like right on his whole neck and it's like i know you don't work you know at the local 7-eleven or at a you know social services like you're clearly you know a bit of a ruffian yeah so what do you do um? MS-13 is tattooed on his face.

I work with just kids. I don't understand that. You realize how how intuitive they are and how how instinct, they know when they pull someone over, they go right up to the door and it's like, that, there's something going on here. They just know something's going on. And usually, you know, there's something stupid like smoking weed or they got a gun in the car or something.

Like, cops are pretty, they have that sixth sense thing that goes on when they pull cars over. Yeah, that or they just treat everybody like that, right? And you've only seen the video of the ones when, like, somebody had the gun or the, like, I always feel bad for, like, some people, you'll see them try to keep up the front of, like, oh, yeah, we're not doing anything. Can we search the car? Yeah, search it. Go ahead. And they're like, we found this giant bag of methamphetamine.

Ah, fuck. Like, what do you think? They're the worst hide-and-seek players of all time? Like, it's a big bag of meth under your seat. It's not like in a hidden compartment like something from fucking The Wire, right? It's just right there under the seat. And then there's the argument between the three people in the car about, whose meth is it?

You didn't tell them it was my meth i absolutely did tell them it was your meth you're all going yeah there's property of pablo on the bank when they when they ask him uh you know can i search the vehicle and they go no and he goes well then we're going to get canine down here. What does that mean? Well, my dog will sniff around, and I will determine, based on what my dog does, whether he has a pulse. I love that. The dog has taken a shit. That's a signal that I'm sorry. That it smells something.

I would ask, have you ever not searched the vehicle your dog is in? Yeah. Because it's just like, oh, look at him. You see that there? That means it's drugged. He's breathing at him. You see that there? That means it's drugs. He's breathing through his nose. But his tongue came out for a second. Anyway, his tongue came out.

I would say really fuck with him. I'm going to get out the drug detection device. He comes out with a hair dryer. It's like, me, me, me, me, me, me. Oh, shit. Sir. I'm detecting drugs in your car. If you come forth with him right now, things will go a bit. Ah, shit, he got me. Like that that scene in the wire you ever see the wire where they've got the guy and they hook him up to like A copy machine and tell him it's a lie detector, and they like print out lie or something

I like the way Anthony explained it like I will determine based on what my dog says Yeah, yeah It's like my dog, me And the fucked up thing is The cop and the dog Are the only ones that understand each other So I'm supposed to sit there And take the cop's word for it

That the fucking dog is telling him something Get out of here Yeah Well, a July in Vegas With a dog that's worked all day that the fucking dog is smelling something get out of here yeah ah well a july in vegas you know with a dog that's worked all day oh he sat down next to your car it couldn't be that he's throwing pounds of equipment and he's a fucking dog it's no yeah that's that's the way they really do it i was watching something like a couple days ago like the dog just sits down next to the car i've worked with those dogs all the time i've seen many a dog sit down uh no but these honestly like my dog doesn't constantly

i've been to the the place where they train those dogs and they would like put like fake marijuana on me fake marijuana and they had like eight holes in the wall and one of the holes has the drugs in it right and the dog comes in he snips each hole and then he sits down in front of the right hole and they reward the dog like a tennis ball popping out of the holes has the drugs in it, right? And the dog comes in, he snips each hole, and then he sits down in front of the right hole. And they reward the dog with a tennis ball popping out of the hole or whatever. It's pretty legit, but they can make whatever the fuck they want. It's the first thing you teach your fucking dog to do. Sit, boy, sit. Every dog does this.

Sometimes there's no dog involved. Sometimes the cop just says, I smelled marijuana. How do I prove in court that he didn't? Nuh-uh. He's using the nuh-uh defense. We've talked about it before. Are you familiar with the shaggy defense? I think that's what it's called.

Oh, the shaggy defense. Yeah. It's that song. I don't know the lyrics, but it's like, my wife caught me cheating on her in the bathroom. It wasn't me. It wasn't me. Yeah, it wasn't me. It wasn't me.

But she got me on camera. It wasn't me. It just keeps doing that. Oh, you're right. A shaggy defense is a legal strategy in which the defendant flatly denies guilt despite overwhelming evidence against them, particularly a recording of them committing the act just by denying that they were the one witness to recording the committed act. And it's got a picture of Shaq there. If you really dig deep, I think it's actually the Eddie Murphy defense,

cuz that was an old bit of his where it just deny everything. And if your girl says, where just deny everything. And if your girl says, you know, I saw you walking out of the hotel with another girl. You looked right at me. I saw you. And he goes, wasn't me. So I think Eddie Murphy actually did it before Shaggy.

We saw you with a transvestite parked in your car at 4.30 in the morning, Mr. Murphy. With your penis in her mouth. Wasn't me. I'm the donkey from Shrek. I wouldn't be doing that shit. Spurless charges. Spurless. That's an interesting legal defense.

I doubt it. Not a lot of sections on here on successful uses of this strategy. Of shaggy defense. Yeah. Yeah, shaggy defense and forensics. Yeah, kind of difficult to beat forensics. Unless you're Johnny Cochran.

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between that and casper you'll get laid chris pratt is under heat right now for earning two million dollars more than bryce dallas howard his co-star in jurassic world i don't know who the fuck bryce dallas howard is is that? Yeah. Well, I mean, her picture's in front of me. I'm going to actually show it to the people so they know it's his co-star in Jurassic World. Who is upset about this? Who the

fuck doesn't understand that he's the draw to that movie? It's very frustrating for me. Now, if you told me that that spy dude got paid more than Wonder Woman In Wonder Woman I would be on your team I get it Why is he earning so much more than her

She's the star here What's her name? Gal Gadot But Chris Pratt And Bryce Dallas Howard I have to look up her name to be sure That's ridiculous People are upset at him

I don't think they understand that The name that brings the people into upset at him i don't think they understand that the name that brings the people into the theaters to see these movies should and does make more money than the other people it's not a sexist thing it's not a it it has nothing else to do with anything but putting asses in the movie theater seats and the name that does that makes more money there you go bingo yeah i i man and chris pratt's name yeah he's gonna draw more people than bryce who what everybody everybody knows this by now though like i i i believe that 90 of the people who are getting outraged about this like they know

the reason they just want to be outraged they just want to feel righteous and indignant and it's like you know exactly the reason for it the same reason that like both of these shirts cover me the same way but i pay more for this one because it says armani it's like no shit we all understand name brands and the value that things bring to a production You're just pretending Because you like the brownie points Outrage is the drug of the 20 teens Chris Pratt earned much less than Jennifer Lawrence In the movie Passengers

Yeah, I guess Well there you go then So it's all bullshit That's what I'm saying I will say that in general women earn less But when I think of the big Hollywood stars That get me into the theater They're mostly guys

Mostly dudes And it's also because of the movies you're going to watch Like you're probably not going to go watch some You know no name chick flick Rom-com that has a well known woman And some just like cute guy That they know they can coax a woman If she wasn't comfortable with the pay scale Then why'd she take the fucking job There you go A rom-com that has a well-known woman and some just, like, cute guy that they know they can coax a woman they want.

If she wasn't comfortable with the pay scale, then why'd she take the fucking job? There you go. Right? Like, go act in some other movie. Go do something else where they'll pay you what you think you're worth. Chiz is saying that she's not even complaining. SJWs are complaining on her behalf. That is my least favorite attribute of

social justice warriors right like like i'm offended on behalf of what you did to this indian or black person or whatever you know like it's like i'm upset for them yeah to be offended on behalf of someone that is brilliant that is what is happening in this day and age. People actually have to sublet other people's outreach. Because there's not enough to go around. It's pretty good in the U.S. for the most part. You know? Like, you've got to be mad about something. And I guess how much money you get paid to be in a dinosaur movie comes into question.

Did you see Rob Schneider's take on this? Look at this tweet he made. I haven't thought about that dude in a while. He said, I, Rob Schneider, will no longer take projects that do not pay women equally, even if that means lowering the woman's salary substantially. That's pretty good. Good for him. that's pretty good but it's you know it it's the the thing now is for other people to get outraged over stuff and make it seem like it's um it's the popular point of view uh the squeaky

wheel you know i don't think many people really care if Chris Pratt is making the most money during one of his movies, making one of his movies, because he's Chris fucking Pratt. He's earned that name and the ability to draw people into the theater and the other people have it. So he gets paid accordingly. Where's the where's the problem? There is. I would like to be paid as much as Chris Pratt. So it's not fair. It's a lot of sour grapes.

What's the heat does? Am I right, guys? She said that chick is Ron Howard's daughter. Oh. Ah. That's cool. Oh, right. She's pretty hot for being Ron Howard's daughter.

Ron Howard's daughter. That apple fell off the tree and rolled far downhill. You want to talk about the apple that rolled into the shit pond? You ever see fucking Ron Howard's brother? You know who that guy is? No. Oh, yeah. That's the guy from Spaceballs who's got that big helmet on, and he's just hideous and everything.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's, um, no. no, no, no, no. Clint Howard is Ron Howard's brother. Yeah, Clint Howard. And Ron puts him in everything. He put him in Apollo 13. He always gives him this little role in all of his movies.

And he was a child actor too. He was in something called Gentle Ben when Ronon howard was in like uh andy griffith show and he was he was cute for like three seconds when he was eight or something yeah and then he just turned into a living monster oh man this is not a good google result oh yeah that's so when ron howard is counting his blessings that he didn't turn into this guy yeah ron howard's just like all all that happened is i lost my hair i'm honestly not did clint howard play the ferengi in star trek absolutely not they could have saved a lot of money on makeup had he done that? Jesus.

He played the serial killer in Seinfeld. Yeah, he did. In L.A. Oh, yeah, he did. I don't remember that. He's got that book about him. He plays a serial killer. Remember the episode with the lopper back in New York?

Yeah. He's carrying the battery. The lopper? he's carrying the battery that and uh i love the episode where kramer ends up like uh looking like a pimp he's got the hat and the robe he's got the cane going down the the sidewalk with the cane apparently kramer was a lot funnier than michael richards yes yes he was a lot funnier than Michael Richards. Yes. Yes, he was. A lot more accepting of people from different – Right, a lot more tolerant. Yes, a lot more tolerant.

Yeah. Poor Michael Richards, man. That happens. Like, if you're – I would love to, like – I would love to hear Seinfeld talk on that, like, honestly. Because I know what he'd say. He'd be like, the DVD was about to come out. Yeah.

The DVDs were about to come out yeah the dvds were about to come out hey man what's the matter with you oh man that does suck for him i didn't realize it was right when the dvds were coming out disappeared from the face of the earth after that. Michael Richards, you are a person no more. Poor Michael Richards. Poor Michael Richards. Oh, he's sitting on so much Seinfeld money. You hope so, right?

Like, I know he... I know so. That only gets you so far. You go around with money. Hey, how you doing, home? You want to hang out? No. I know Jason Alexander must be doing well, because, like, every time I see him, he's fucking playing poker, right?

Like, he's playing some $10,000, like, entry poker game or something like that, doing some sort of celebrity event or something like that. Like, he's just having fun. Yeah, he's one of those celebrities that love poker. That would be great if he blows every bit of his Seinfeld money playing poker. Yeah, Ray Romano, too. And the guy that played Romano's brother back on that fucking sick Everybody Loves Raymond. That guy with the oddly deep voice. Brad Garrett.

Brad Garrett, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Brad Garrett's got a hot... I don't know if he's married now, but he had a super hot girlfriend. I saw them do an interview before. I was like, wow he's married now, but he had a super hot girlfriend. I saw them do an interview before. I was like, wow, Jesus, that's it. Everybody loves Raymond money.

He's got a comedy club at the MGM in Vegas that does really well. Oh, yeah. I think I've seen him on billboards out there. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Brad Garrett's comedy club. Yeah. A lot of guys that play it. Yeah, he's doing fine.

A lot of those guys doing just fine that's syndication money that would be the best way to be famous is just be a guy who does a really well-known show like seinfeld your legacy will just be that show everybody loves it you know and then you just fade away right you're just that guy with money who has to occasionally do like, George is getting upset for people in public and that kind of shit. And everyone that sees you loves you like they do the character. Exactly. Unless you're Michael Richards and you can't keep your racism behind closed doors

and just be the most lovable character on the show. Do you know how bad you have to fuck up just to like to not be loved as kramer anymore like overshadow how loved kramer was you really have to fuck up yeah that's that character would come into the room in the studio audience would just whoa yeah kramer's here fuck yeah yeah he was the guy that came in a room and the place would go great. Like when the Fonz walked in. It was that guy. And now he's like,

oh yeah, yeah, no, no, Michael Richards. You really gotta fuck up. Did you see him talk with Seinfeld about it and how he had regrets about on the show how he was too high strung and focused too much? Seinfeld was or Richards? Richards was, yeah. Apparently his process involved show how he was too high strung and focused too much no i thought it was or richards really

richards was yeah apparently his process involved a lot of like kind of a short fuse took it super seriously studied and studied and studied knew all his lines didn't have a high tolerance for other people laughing or breaking character oh right yeah yeah because there were a lot of some of the outtakes to seininfeld Are just as funny as the show It's hilarious to watch What they were laughing at And he would get pissed off And be like come on everyone

What are you doing here Shakespeare shut the fuck up So Seinfeld was He's like you know what that's just your process You did a great job and that's the way That you got that product out So he's like don't second guess? That's just your process. You did a great job, and that's the way that you got that product out. So he's like, don't second guess how you did it. You did great. Oh, is that in Comedians in Cars Drinking Coffee?

It might be that. It was in one of those, yeah. And I just thought it was really cool to hear. It's not who I would have guessed Kramer was. Yeah, Comedians in Cars Yelling N-Bombs. I think that was that episode. They should be comedians in cars drinking bourbon. We'll see how well that goes.

That'd be a much more entertaining show. I want to see some collisions and some N-bombs. That's what I want to see out of you, Michael Richards. I want you to fucking lose it again. Actually, I would love that. That would be pretty great. I've heard of him since that outburst, have they?

He should do book a gig way in advance, do a whole tour of how he's going to get up there and redeem himself and shit, and then go in there and the first thing he does is just start yelling n-bombs again. Yeah. Absolutely. Wouldn't that be awesome?

I feel like he's done his time now Hasn't he served his penance Aren't people over his frustration How long has it been Mel Gibson got 10 years Of blacklisting From the cabal We know who I'm talking about

Those people Those people They control it all Finance, entertainment 12 years ago was when Michael Richards did that Time's up Those people. They control it all. The Southerners. 2006. Entertainment. 12 years ago was when Michael Richards did that. Time's up. Ready to go. Yeah, hit the club.

Mel's making movies. Mel's making movies again. To be fair, the Mel Gibson tapes are independently hilarious. So you can go back and listen to those and laugh. And every man in America, when he's like, you were supposed to blow me before the jacuzzi. Like every guy's like, oh, there's nothing as frustrating as a blowjob. Gone.

I promised. Gone undone. And like, so you get it. But like Richards, it was just uncomfortable. Like it wasn't, he wasn't making jokes. It wasn't, it wasn't funny the way Mel. He had lost it. I've never had that temptation.

Like there are people who were like, I got so mad. I started calling everyone the N-bomb. I was frustrated. I was angry. it some youtube streamers do it sometimes and or twitch streamers they just blow up in the wrong way what do you got kyle what about when those african-american gentlemen pressed the wrong buttons on the elevator and made you take the long ride with them you weren't thinking a few n-bombs that's not what happened what they actually so i had swim practice and i was really exhausted right and a level of exhaustion after a workout that most people have yeah honest the most people have never experienced anyway i took the elevator to get to my floor and they wouldn't let me off at my floor they blocked the door and just they told me i wasn't allowed off because they floor and they wouldn't let me off at my floor they blocked the door and just they

told me i wasn't allowed off because they what yeah they didn't want to like wait the time it would take i guess to walk through doors so they blocked me and just started like hammering the closed door button so that that process would go faster that's what happened it was a kind of bullying based on race certainly you weren't you weren't like thinking a few n-bombs i might have been actually i've talked about this before i i if there was and think you know you might think them every so often if something goes awry and i don't know if it was literally n-bombs but but i've talked about this on the show like in high school no racism in this in the slightest right in college there were enough misbehaved black people that like the pattern

recognition starts kicking in and i was you know i would have frustrations you know i told you before i've told the story before at the arcade they would like dominate the jukebox we used to go to the arcade i play street fighter and play pool or whatever and i liked it there and if you so much as like put on a song that that they didn't like then they'd be like who the fuck put this on it's like i thought we all liked acdc right like it's cool right but no apparently not uh you know it had be – I want to say Tupac. That sounds racist, but that's like what it would be, you know, what they were listening to at the time. And yeah, so it was just like race-based bullying that I felt frequently.

Was the elevator the worst of those incidents? It was the most direct. It was the most like you know standing chest to chest blocking my way kind of thing there were a million like i don't know taking more than their allocated amount of space on the sidewalk as you go by kind of thing you know like like what i have to go to the fucking grass like i'm a person and uh uh but yeah i don't know. That's the whole story. Nothing really ever super happened, but I just felt every so often outnumbered and bullied

because I'm white. And you look like a slave owner. You look like your ancestors, definitely. They don't know about my slaves, right? That's not something they were privy to. Since your roots go back to New Jersey, maybe like importer-exporter. You were the Art Vandele.

My grandparents were immigrants. We weren't really here during that. Hey, it wasn't just an American affair. Maybe you were the person over in England or Portugal, you know, shipping them over here. Oh, maybe, yeah. Well, we have you to thank for our wonderfully diverse country. I don't see what the big deal is.

Welcome. Our greatest strength. Our greatest strength. That's not very believable coming from you. I tweet that constantly. I'll just link some horror story of something that happened, a murder, a rape, or whatever, And I'll just put our greatest strength.

Sometimes I'll see, you know, because I follow enough people on Twitter, I don't spend all day on there, but like I'll see some that you post and I'll be like, God, he's turned it into a game to see how fast he can get this account taken down. I'm learning though. I'm really starting to,

now I'm putting a description of the word I want to use in parentheses. So I'm like, you I'm really starting to, now I'm putting a description of the word I want to use in parentheses. So I'm like, you know, Sarah Silverman is a real fucking, and I'll put most horrid word for a woman. And I'll write most horrid word for a woman in parentheses. And it seems like I'm okay doing that. Everyone knows what I mean.

It's like we were just talking, like the word can pop in your head. You don't need to say it, but it pops in your head. So if I could get the word to pop in people's heads, that seems to work. Sarah Silverman, the one that dated Jimmy Kimmel? Yeah. Oh, I like her.

We don't like her? You ever see that movie Take This Waltz? No. Oh, let me help you. Sarah Silbin was great back in what they called the day. But now she's one of these social justice warriors that just has no time or patience for any other thought but her own. Yeah, I'm really not up to date. Is she on the Twitter, maybe? Because I'm not. not up to date like is she on the twitter maybe

because i'm not she is on she is on the twitter yeah she's oh there's a movie now that oh is that the one yeah she's getting like railed from behind by some dude and oh that's my favorite do we have any clips let me just make sure i'm not screen sharing she's got just a crazy bush going on here oh yeah it's like an insane bush this is a jpeg it's not even moving where's are you what are you seeing that i'm not well i've got all the google images that's like she was auditioning for schindler's list bush That is just mean. I think I'm going to have to find these now. Here's a little girl in red.

How did I not know she was Jewish? I always thought she was Italian. Silverman? Silverman? Yeah, I just put it together. She's got that big old honker. She's funny. Relatively.

Yeah. Yeah, she is. I mean, in hindsight, I see it now, and I saw her as Italian. I've seen the man. Was it the movie Way of the Gun, I think, where she's at the beginning, and the guy goes,

tell your girlfriend to shut up before i fuck start her head yeah yeah yeah before i fuck start her mouth just belts her right in the face yeah yeah that's fucking great opening scene to a movie that scene is like made it into this youtube compilation of like best trash talking or best movie insults of all time before i fuck start her mouth or something like that. She's shit talking him. Then it looks like he's going to fight the boyfriend and she's standing there going,

go ahead, punch him. He just hauls up and punches her square in the face. It's great. Maybe not for 2018 great. No. We like that sort of thing around here if we can Find a woman getting belted that's that makes

Our night yeah Pussy pass denied We used to do a pussy pass denied Segment like every week For months until we got really Misogynist and decided we should back off A little Is it time to bring it back

As we speak federal court overturns ban on sports gambling i if i've gambled i'd like that well there's a thing you might like about it i've heard that it will impact hockey in that they will stop doing vague injury descriptions like upper body injury and start saying like you know this guy's l5 is bruised or whatever's wrong with him oh shit you can't do that in the nhl where you're going 30 miles an hour and some six five canadians flying at you like they can't be like all right his left knee's a little rickety yeah i wonder where you're gonna get smashed that game over and over oh shit right there's no way they're gonna they're gonna do that like the players association will revolt like you know we're all for getting beat up

sometimes you know but this is too far like but do they not know like like i mean do i not just look at the game and say we got injured last game like you know i mean it wouldn't be able to always okay not always i'm I'm with you there. But I think oftentimes it's like, clearly this guy hurt his wrist. Like when that guy got the tip of his finger chopped off like they knew, all right, that guy's missing the tip of his finger. But sometimes it just collapses into the boards and you don't really know. Okay.

Yeah. I got one. You have a pussy pass denied already. I got a good one. This is so many callbacks in one clip, right? yeah i got one you have a pussy past denied already i got a good one this this this brings this is so many callbacks in one clip right let me know when you're ready to click it because it's you know it's a gift so as soon as you click it it'll start playing okay let me know when to click it and i'll click it uh yeah so um okay line it up ready set go there's a heavyset african-american lady she is uh

she's doing the bring it on kind of thing she's standing in traffic sort of like spinning around the police officer is clearly trying to negotiate with her while wielding dancing and she is dancing now she's coming at him like tried to grab the baton yeah and he's coming at her with the baton like he's trying out for the fucking MLB oh my god whacked he's struggling to hit her I thought he got her he got her at mission accomplished poked her in the snow he's not done yet he's here she is putting me on... No, he's not done yet. He's... She is resisting. He put a knee on her hair. Yeah, he's got her down now.

She is still struggling. A bystander has come by. He's like, fuck this bitch. And they have completely restrained her now. She is docile. Oh, that was nice. That's worth a rewatch in my opinion. We can talk, but I think I need to see it again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She deserves that. Oh, of course she did. And think of how many people, like, one of my big thoughts is, like, rudeness in public I don't care for. Like, all the people there who are inconvenienced, like, just trying to go about their day, get to the airport,

whatever the fuck, and this asshole you know, traipsing about in the middle of an intersection. Well, there was the story about the woman on Spirit spirit air flight you're about that one uh i may have what happened she uh she was going to vegas uh she gets there and spirit air closes the doors like 20 minutes before the plane plane leaves you know they that's

it's called boarding and then push back uh you can't jump in while the plane's pushing back. So she thinks since the flight's leaving at noon or whatever, that she could get there at noon. And she started bitching that the door was closed. She just ran onto another plane. A different plane? Another aircraft that was going to Vegas took a seat and wouldn't leave and said, no, you got – and people were losing their minds.

I wish it was United. We are asking everyone to deplane at this time. Everyone had to leave the plane. She's laughing at everyone that's walking by. I don't know how she lived. And then they took her off and arrested her, of course. United would not have put up with that shit. They drug the bloody doctor off for holding you down.

Yeah, exactly. They should have just dragged her off. But she's like, I know your tricks. I know your tricks, you goddamn airlines. I know your tricks. I unbuckle, you drag me out. I'm not unbuckling my seatbelt. It's like, ma'am, do you realize we're not going to be like rats?

She's got us. She knows the unbuckle clause. She must be a sovereign citizen. Everyone's day. Got screwed up because she thought it was a taxi and you could jump out of one. If you miss one, you jump in another.

What an asshole. That is so fucking rude rude there's a lot of people uh entitled i guess yeah i ah just hop on another plane how could you think how did you get on the other plane you don't have to show your boarding pass you just sprinted onto it it's spirit air you know who knows what's going on come on both of their employees were already occupied yeah i don't never flown spirit but i guess i probably won't now although like united they did that that shitty thing uh to the the doctor guy but i'll still fly united because it's like if they come to me and go hey you did you did buy that, but we double sold it.

You're going to have to get off. I'm not going to be like, harumph. No, I'm not getting it. It's like, no, I have no choice. They're not going to take off with me on this. They're going to give you a fucking voucher. I would have asked. I don't think I would have accepted the first no, right?

Because I don't. They'd have been like, all right, Woody, we sold you this ticket. We've seated you. Now you're here. You're buckled in. You have to go. The other guy's going to have seat i'm gonna be like why him like what makes him better than me like why if you've oversold this seat and two of us have the same seat yeah and i'm already here like why why do i have to get up and give him my seat what like i would have tried to get something i don't think i'd just be oh they're gonna give him a voucher you know like but he was like oh no gotta get back home pull some teeth

like he's the one missing the teeth people don't seem to understand i wonder what that made an aircraft is the furthest thing from a democracy you will ever find it is a dictatorship yeah pilot is the fuhrer and everyone else that works on the plane are his minion and and crony and that's it and if he says you go there's no fair there's no why me there's no conversation the pilot says go that is the closest thing to maritime law the captain is the head muckety muck and you must obey him period yeah i mean you're right but i don't like it i don't like it like where is the game attack enjoy your bus trip hop on a greyhound, asshole. Whatever happened to the United guy?

Maybe, is Chiz writing in here? Did they, like... He got paid. Did he get paid? If he ended up with, like, 3.9 million, bust out a tooth. No, nothing like that. They get, like, thousands of dollars.

There's always a settlement they're not allowed to talk about, you know? If it was, like, a million plus dollars, United, they could beat me up on a flight oh absolutely i would fight actual fighters for a million dollars i would even make the same noise as that guy did i to make sure it got media attention all right so chis said they paid him but it's a private settlement so the yeah they never tell you they don't want you going wow that's pretty good yeah i'll do that right i wouldn't speed up on a you know spirit airline i wonder what spirit airlines would give you like six bags of nuts a free taxi ride home and a fuck you actually get your baggage i heard it from an inside source. This guy likes cheese. It's hook him up.

But Woody, if they told you that, you know, you got to go. And even if the answer wasn't to your satisfaction, where they said like, well, he's a rewards member and we give priority to rewards,

whatever the fuck it was, you would at that point, get up and exit the plane. I'm positive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. At some point.

And I feel like there'd be a a peer pressure too which you want to say you're invulnerable to but when the whole plane thinks you're an asshole it's real tempting to be like i'd rather be somewhere else you know i don't want to be here for the next two and a half hours on this flight like the asshole the asshole guy wouldn't you be so tempted to turn around and go, I hope this fucker goes down! You go to actual jail for that. My bomb's still underneath, bitches!

It'd be the same if someone yelled, Bomb! And you all had to deplane! Yeah! I'm sure you like the little gift I left you on this aircraft. What did I do? Don't touch me. Tick tock, tick tock. That's all you have to say.

Hey, cool. Would you like to come to the White House? I don't think that would happen. You can't fuck around anymore, man. No. I wish you could. On a plane? They are.

It used to be so fucking. I remember when I was a kid, at least. Like, people went on planes, and it was an occasion. Not like, you know, the old DC-9 with the propellers and the suits and ties on everyone. But like you respected the fact that you were on this miracle machine and you didn't really fuck around, you know. Now it's just people bare feet on the ceiling. They're fucking, you know, just pigs. No respect for the fact that you're miraculously careening through the air at 500 miles an hour.

Yeah. Pay $700 for your ticket, and they give you a little pissy look when you're like, I'll just take the whole can of Diet Coke. And it's like, oh, a whole can, motherfucker. He wants his whole can. See, that's all about— I'm a 17-year-old man as a flight attendant. I hope life continues to go bad for you.

That's all about how you request the drink, by the way. You ask for a can of Coke, not a Coke. You ask for a Coke, they're going to pour you a little shot of Coca-Cola in those plastic fucking cups. Not in first class, but in coach, you know, because I'm not a fancy man like you. Is that what it's like back there? That is what it's like.

I've never flown first class. Here you are, sir. You may smell this Coca-Cola before we serve it to the first class here you are sir you may smell this coca-cola before we serve to the first class but breathe deep peasant all the bubbles are still going oh it's impromptu what if the bubbles touched me it tickles my nose uh yeah if you ask for the can they keep it yeah man so uh chiz is us know, and I'd heard nothing about this, that you are in the middle of writing a book. Is that right? Oh, yeah.

More than in the middle. We're past that. We're pretty much on just editing, cover shot, and then it goes into pre- presale on Amazon and everywhere else. Yeah, I'm very excited about it. We've been working on it for about six months now. And it entails everything from kind of childhood in order to get a kind of a bearing on why I am like I am. And growing up in California. Some of the stories I've told on the air

and other new ones, and then the radio years, working with Opie and all that behind-the-scenes shit that everybody kind of wants to know about. I'm curious about that. I'll have to pick it up. Are there going to be some maybe chapters

that Opie won't appreciate flipping through? Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm brutally honest about everything. So, you know, when I talk about what it was like on a daily basis working with somebody that you feel had zero respect for you or the people you cared about um for any talent that anyone else has just resentment uh from for for all the comics that were in there uh yeah i i i talk about it that's good it's it's it's really cool i'm i'm i'm really psyched about it i i'm more excited that i was the first one to write one before he did. What's the title and release date of it?

I haven't said the title yet, but I will on your show. Why not? Right? Let's do it. It ties into everything that has gone on with my career in social media and working for companies and everything. It's called permanently suspended. Nice. I thought it was going to be a tweet too far.

I mean, that's every aspect of either my job, Twitter, Facebook, all that. I'm constantly suspended. Twitter, Facebook, all that. I of the book brought back so much shit that was just hilarious. Like any child would have been taken away from a parent back if it was now happening back then. You know, my dad's throwing me whores. Buzz, right?

Driving dune buggies with rifles. Out in the middle of the mojave desert it was great i was like 12 years old so um it's just a a fun little little autobiography pretty pretty uh cool nice that's awesome yeah i'll definitely pick that up it seems like it'll be definitely come back on when when it's released if you get chip chipperson to do the audio book i'll definitely download that i could not handle more than a minute of that he would start and then go wait i'm gonna add some of my own stuff in here it's like no chip you have to do it verbatim. Fuck that.

But Jimmy did do the forward to it. Oh, that's cool. Because he really, as far as personal, some people know me better personally. I don't think anyone knows me better professionally. But Jimmy knows me best in both of those worlds. He knows who I am and he knows how I operate when I'm working. He was a great choice for that. He's a funny motherfucker. We've talked about that.

Him doing the forward was a no-brainer. Nice. Very cool. I have to back out, guys. I hate it, but it's 10 o'clock and I got some shit to do. He turns into a pumpkin. Thanks for coming on, man.

Always a good time shooting the shit. Yeah, we love having you, man. Guys, it's been too long. We'll do it again soon. And yeah, I'll plug the shit out of it when you put it on the, what, recorded version. Yeah. Yeah, just let me know.

Jesus Christ. Roger that. All right right see you later all right my goddamn stress ball just busted and now there's sand all over my desk my counter let me wipe this up because it's getting all over my arms and elbow oh what a first world problem yeah i That's a feat of strength. Why are you so stressed about? That you're crushing stress balls until they explode. We'll get to that after this ad read. Tell everyone about Audible.

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There's links in the description and the text numbers there and all that stuff. Yeah, I gotta recommend Game of Thrones. Game of Thrones is coming around again very soon. It's very sad, but Roy DeTrees, of course, passed away this year or late last year or whatever, so I guess he won't be doing the future audiobooks,

but if you want to get caught up with Game of Thrones, get at least from the book side of things, because you're never getting another book. Make sure you make that happen in preparation for the next season, which I'm very excited about. Taylor, what are you so stressed about that you're crushing stress balls, buddy? Oh, it was just an old one. Like, it was starting to get that uh crisp you know like old stress

balls where they start to dry out and they get that like crispier exterior no i've never worn out a stress ball no just like sitting around for like a year like they just get old like you remember uh uh stretch armstrong yeah yeah so it was like basically that exact same thing if you ever had a stretch armstrong as a kid you know if you ever left it in the sun or in your car and forgot about it, all that rubber that you used to stretch would just become brittle. If you stretch it, it would go and all that shit would leak out of its

arms or legs. That's what happened to that one. Just a stretch Armstrong situation. I'm going to create the situation very differently. You what? Yeah, you could tie girls up with it. It was great. Didn't that come out when we. You what? Yeah, you could tie girls up with it. It was great. Didn't that come out when we were both children?

Absolutely, it did. He started early. Fair enough. You're only four and a half, five years older than me. Kyle was a pedo at 11 years old. They were my age. They were my age. It's all A-OK.

Just ask Wings. Wings has a whole guidebook for how to do this the right way. Ask them to drive slowly. I just put my phone on my counter to have it here up my pocket, and there are so many of these little fucking beads now that it just slid on the counter just like it's a shuffleboard. This is going to be a bitch to clean up you need a dust buster i do and i don't have a dust buster you have a vacuum though you sound single

that's true like i've i've had you know you know girls will come over and be like i'll clean some of your dishes or i'll be like no i'll do it like oh where's your scrubber and it's like well i have two and they're my hands you know i don't i don't have a Brillo pad or whatever the fuck he is Look, I want to do fitness talk I've held back for six weeks Yeah, where are you at? How's it going? I have not even been weighing myself You know what? I got on creatine for a little bit

And weight went up And I'm like, fuck it, I'm not looking anymore When's the last time you weighed? I bet it's been three weeks I bet it's been three weeks. I bet it's been pretty stable. I'm lifting more. I'm still pretty reliable with that.

I'm pretty good on diet. I do sometimes have trail mix and it is my nemesis. That's just where we are. And yeah, Colin's moving along. He's getting to like less and less helpful bands on his pull-ups and such. He's right there to being able to do pull-ups. And yeah, he's 15 now. He has braces.

He has clear braces. You can't really see them, but they're kind of there. Like Invisalign? Yeah, they're called clear braces, but they're, I guess, like Invis invisalign they're like a shell that goes over your teeth oh yeah in his case they we didn't know they were going to but they glued on like little nubs so that they can yank them around or something better i don't know but uh you don't see him very well but anyway yeah colin's 15 which is old and uh hope's almost 19 so they her birthday's next month um but yeah, I don't know.

Fitness is still going well. I am having the emergence of abs, which I'm kind of excited about. It's funny, though. My left is showing up better than my right. So I have a two-pack, but it's vertical. It's fucking stupid. The lighting in my gym. So we often swim right after we lift because we have a pool and

the lighting in the gym is terrible but i'll like i work out in a bathing suit rip off the shirt and jump in the pool and uh this one overhead light shows abs better than like any other environment on earth and it's like look at me because i'm all like swole at the moment that kind of lighting is great just like uh when you go to someone's house in their bathroom and like you're like washing your hands and you see yourself in the mirror and you're like where the hell who's this stranger and then you realize like oh damn it this is like a thinning mirror that you'd see at macy's because those are real i didn't know that was a thing oh yeah yeah like uh if you go to buy clothes like those mirrors a lot of the time they'll be thinning mirrors unless they're like those totally flat ones that are like on the

pillars in the middle of the mall or whatever that's brilliant i didn't think of that yeah yeah this shirt makes me look great but really you're just as fat as ever my bathroom does it's not the um the mirrors they're just regular mirrors i'm sure but the lighting in my bathroom does it's not the um the mirrors they're just regular mirrors i'm sure but the lighting in my bathroom is very flattering so that's when i feel my best well i'm uh still doing about the same with fitness all the working out's fine that's i like doing that so that's not that hard to stick to that uh every once in a while i'll get like some weird like twinge in my forearm or something and i'll be like all right i'm gonna take my forearm or something. And I'll be like, all right, I'm going to take a break. I don't want to be one of those guys who's like, I thought I could just keep going.

And then now I'm actually hurt. And so I'll do that. But yeah, diet this month has been much better than previous months. Like I'll still fuck up and like, you know, go to a restaurant and like gorge myself and then, you know, be a little angry about it. But as long as, you know, that's only once every, you you know once a week thing at most it's not too bad so yeah it's going well i had wendy's and i don't i i know i've talked about wendy's a lot on the show i've literally had it once this year so far and i entered it in my fitness pal it is like i i

what do you get it um it was a spicy chicken sandwich, medium. So it had the medium fry and a high C fruit punch to drink. This is like – That's what did you in right there. It was a lot of it. It was like – the whole thing was like 1,100 calories. The drink was like 480 of them. And I was just like – I knew it was a cheat meal.

I didn't know – like I eat that some days. Like a light day for me might be 1,100 calories. To have a meal that was that and not even that much food. When I eat veggies and George Foreman chicken or something, I'll fill a plate, it's a bundle of food but it's still 500 calories. This is 1,100, anyway, that's what MyFitnessPal does. I know I've talked about this but it's a bundle of food but it's still 500 calories this is 1100 anyway i it was that's what my fitness pal does i know i've talked about this but it's the eye opening like oh yeah you know

you knew this wasn't good for you but you didn't understand the magnitude of what you were doing and uh it opens your eyes to like where you're fucking up so that yeah i don't know in general i just feel good then there are parts of me that are like the with the lifting i'm doing better with i think with the lifting than the diet um i'm just like thicker and more solid and like i don't know i yeah i feel good about that um if there is a down it my joints and shoulders in particular i feel like my ability to lift weights has improved faster than like my joints ability to handle those weights so sometimes i'll just like back off and add reps or something like that and squat that's probably the smart thing to do i do that in a couple is like my sometimes what will happen

is like pull-ups for example i work my way up to doing three sets of eight which i don't know i'm kind of proud of and it's like yeah you did three sets of eight. But on the third set, like three of them had kips involved and you kind of blasted them out fast. So I'll drop down to like three sets of six and really just lock in perfect form and slow down and have more time under tension. But mostly I'm just kind of proud of me because I've been at it. Yeah, that's good.

Kyle, where's your weight at right now? Are you cutting with one of those diets or are you just kind of living it up doing the normal eating? Yeah, just kind of normal eating. Nothing too crazy. Like, like still just eating one meal a day. I've, uh, I've had filet mignon and, uh, and fries pretty much like, like maybe three, four nights a week, something like that, and crab cakes. We cook a lot of crab cakes and filet. There's a nice grocery store right by me, so I go and get ultimate lump crab cakes and a couple of filets and a couple of potatoes and make a delicious dinner every night. Pretty much the same dinner, you know.

I've been reverse searing the filet mignons. I bake them. I get them to room temperature, then I bake them at 275 for about half an hour. Then I sear them in a pan that's about to burst into flames for like a minute per side with butter, rosemary, and garlic, spooning it over them continuously like Gordon Ramsay style. And they're really fucking good. And then I make my meticulously prepared French fries

that take like an hour to make, but they're really fucking good. Yeah, your fries, when you text us pictures, prepared french fries that take like an hour to make but they're really fucking good yeah your fries when you text us pictures they look like thick cut quality fries perfect absolutely steak kyle sends pictures of some good looking food like wowsers i i i'm gonna start texting pictures of george foreman chicken and microwave vegetables just to let him know how the other side lives that's gonna make me sad I'm about to go on a trip seasoned steamed that's not far from the truth um uh where am I going so I'm I'm in North Carolina and tomorrow morning we drive to Arkansas might take two days And then we're free flying there off some mountains for a while. Then we're driving to Kansas, flying the paramotors, and then coming back.

It'll be about 10 days. I'm kind of excited about it. There's a Patreon hangout coming up. So check your emails for that. I don't know if it's been sent out already or if it will be soon. But I've set up all the equipment to do it from the sky. And I'm not sure if that idea is like lame and you don't get my full attention and bad audio,

or if it's awesome and a neat change of pace where maybe like, you know, for 30 or 40 minutes, I'm in the sky, literally flying. No, I love that idea. In fact,

I've taken it to heart. I'm going to be doing the Patreon hangout from the movie theater. I'll be watching the new Avengers movie. I'll be whispering a lot. And I'm pretty sure it's going to make everybody furious in the theater. But you guys will get to see a little of the movie, and I'll still be there. I actually scheduled a dentist appointment for the same time, and I'll just have my computer set up in the corner of the room.

So I hear what you guys are going with, right? I hear you. But I was actually not sure are going with, right? I hear you. But I was actually not sure because, like, sometimes we'll have a person attend it from, like, a train or something like that. And it's really neat to, like, see the environment that is that. And I was like, oh, you know, I could just not do it. Like, I'm fine with that, too. But I was like, you know, like, if I was watching, it might be fucking cool to have someone actually do something as opposed to just sit in their chair and talk. I don't know.

Well, and it probably wouldn't be that hard to if it doesn't work. You just land. Yeah, exactly. Even if it does work, I don't intend to go that long. Maybe just half an hour out of the four hours. But yeah, I was like, where would I be if I was watching this? I think it might be kind of interesting to see a guy run into the sky and converse with me. I hope

the patrons who hang out with us see this beforehand. I'm sure they will, and that they all call into our chat from odd places. That'd be fun. Yeah, and I'm like... I'd have to mute myself because it's noisy, but it's a thing that we could maybe do.

Or not. It might be bad weather or something and the idea just gets killed it's a very fair weather thing to do but yeah i love the patreon hangouts i'm looking forward to it i think we're doing two this month because somehow last month's got overlooked so we're doubling up this month like we do two of those it got overlooked two months ago so last month we did the months before ah so this month we're doing last months which we did kind of but yeah now we'll be caught up fair enough mistakes were made but i but i really enjoy it i like relaxing shooting the shit yeah like meeting those fans they're all they're all from such weird like backgrounds a couple of them like i play video games and stuff with now uh xbox pc man is a real fucking character he

posts the most retarded photographs of himself he uh he did a chiz cosplay the other day where he drew like a chiz beard on his face with marker and put on a paper boy cap and then he's like fake smoking the marker that he used to draw the beard on himself um and and then like he kept sending he's he like posts a pic a a picture in our discord of him posing with a a lawn flamingo right and we're just like that's weird and then like 30 seconds later he posts another one he's got two lawn flamingos like where's he getting lawn flamingo and then there's three it's like where are you two lawn flamingos like where's he getting lawn for me and then it's three it's like where are you getting these flamingos what the fuck is wrong with you he's

he's he's a unique fella he's a unique sounds like a hoot which one is this um so the dude with one arm the dude with the beard no no no that's uh it's uh i think it's anthony is his real name um he's a he's a younger guy, kind of fresh-faced. He was the security guard at that community college or something like that. We always ask, do you have a gun? He's like, no, I don't have a gun. I don't really do shit. I think he lost that job.

Well, he's a flamingo thief. He bought those flamingos, I was assured. But yeah They're all a bunch of fucking characters in there I like seeing those guys every so often That's the thing And I hate to be classist But I think something about the ability to pay $50 a month

To hang out with us jackasses Leads to interesting people Yeah I think he's scrimping and saving to be fair Some do Some did something That makes it easy for him yeah yeah for sure some of them you know don't give a shit about that 50 bucks but they're like oh i might just forget about this someday and just leave it going it's like because they're just loaded you know very successful people and we need to up the price on some of those people

that that uh that's selective price build by ability to pay all right now we're doing the very successful people we need to up the price on some of those people that stock we're going to build by ability to pay alright now we're doing the patreon hangouts by percentage of income that hedge fund guy who's like yeah I'm just buying an Audi R8 you know I don't know if I should get the Ferrari

or the Lambo we're not charging you enough we're not charging you enough it We're not charging you enough. It's like, man, dude, you're deciding between an R8 and a Lambo? If you want, you can just hire me to come hang out with you for a while. Won't be that much more expensive.

Fly me out, do whatever. God, that'd be more like a trip for me. What do you want to do? Go to the strip club? It's on me. What do you want to do? Go gamble? Here's 10 grand. It'd be great. Break stress balls. No, I'm a great pick, Chiz. I didn't break the stress ball because I'm just so strong. Yes, you did. That's the story we're going with.

Yeah, I'm just powerful hands. You know, I could tear a gaming controller in twain. Oh, shit. I could tear a gaming controller in twain. Oh, shit. I believe that between Taylor's strength and Chiz's gaming ability, we might take on the king. Yeah, man, I just don't play games anymore.

Collectively, though, we could outrage him. Well, if you want to come play with me, I been playing a bit of uh total war warhammer 2 lately i've been uh trying to get people to play that with me um they fear me so they they won't um obviously i'm still playing a good bit of pub g and uh playing civ 5 so if you want to you want to jump in on uh some of that warhammer uh there's been a there's been new dl. The Tomb Kings have been out for quite some time. Tomb Kings? Yes, you might imagine it's the Egyptian

race or civilization or whatever. They've got all kinds of Egyptian based monsters and shit. That sounds pretty cool. So are they like plentiful soldiers like low armor and then a lot of fast chariots and shit like that. They've got some of that. They've got mummies and stuff like that, but they've also

got these gigantic sphinxes with scorpion tails that are just enormous. Bigger than the shaggots and stuff like that. They're really fucking big units. They've got hooded cobras that are running around. They've got a lot of cool troops.

That's an interesting game. I'm trying to get Chiz into it. It's a very aesthetically pleasing game. All the units are so cool. I can't imagine what it looks like on your setup. It looks really good. Chiz refuses to play. He says he's too competitive,

and that he knows that if he gets into it, he will devote far, far too much time into it. So I'm left playing randoms on the internet. See? He left. He didn't take it. So competitive that he had to leave. Yeah. I bet Chiz would like that game. Oh, I know he would. He thought it was like a battle simulator

where you just picked an army and then turned them loose and then watched it go. But it's real time. Oh, you were trolling me. Well, you're a fucking asshole. You're a fucking asshole. You let me go on for like 10 minutes describing it? You let me go on for like 10 minutes describing it?

You let me go on forever. Like, no, here's how it works. You start out with a set amount of gold. No, it's not funny. It kind of is now. I went on for like five minutes legitimately breaking it down. Was he asking additional questions? questions like but what you're saying

really is you set it up and then it's just click and go like it's like intentionally not getting it yeah exactly he was like well that that doesn't sound like rts that sounds like uh like turn base i'm like no there are no turns yeah it sounds like there's turns i was like he's so thick. Fuck you. He has 80,000 gamer score. Yeah. He knows all the genres. Man, I've never completed a game 100% ever. I want Chiz to do that a lot. It's like be baffled at platformers and just keep it going.

So you're saying you jump timing? I don't get it can't do it now because the that cat's out of the bag the jig is up yep uh i'm trying to see if uh i have one of these stories that chis linked about a baby having its head torn off during like a botched birth and then they sew the head back on to let the mom hold it but uh that seems like a botched birth and then they sew the head back on to let the mom hold it but uh that seems like a bit of a downer the old cabbage patch doll technique let me see so was the head left inside of her pussy like when they did they just like were they like pulling the legs like it came out and it was just like everything but the head.

Right? Or everything squirts out the neck and the baby loses like half of its body weight as it deflates like a balloon. They have to use like an oversized wine corkscrew to like... to get the head out. Boop!

It says, it was alleged that tragedy hit when the 41-year-old doctor called to the patient to push herself applying traction to the baby's legs or asked for the moment to push while he was applying traction to the baby's legs the movement caused the infant's legs arms and torso to become detached leaving the head still in the mother's womb other doctors consequently carried out a c-section on the woman to remove the infant's head it was in quotes in the article's womb. Shit! Other doctors consequently carried out a C-section on the woman to remove the infant's head. It was, in quotes in the article,

reattached, which makes me believe, like, was it actually reattached? Did they just tape it? Looked like Frankenstein with the staples going around the neck. You sewed it back on backwards. It's already dead! Just take your picture and remember this horrible traumatic event.

That's horrible. Hopefully she makes millions and millions from this. Because that guy, that's inexcusable. You're the reason healthcare is so high. You and your litigious suits. I'm very litigious. Your baby lost its head. You should be able to do it.

You know, things happen. Yeah, man. But anyway. What a jerk. Like, maybe this isn't the way you're supposed to think, but like, wow, if the head didn't fit through, maybe she's tight. Maybe she's like a really good fuck.

But the body came out. Yeah. Smaller though, right? You kind of curl up. Maybe the girth. I don't know. But how big in a rush was that doctor Yeah, smaller though, right? You kind of curl up. Maybe the girth? I don't know. But how big in a rush was that doctor that he was pulling that hard, you know?

He's 41. This wasn't his first rodeo. He had a tee time coming up. He had a tee time coming up. Yeah, now he's got no tee time, no career. Hopefully. I wouldn't want to have my wife with some OBGYN who's like, I've delivered 167 babies, 166 of which are very successful. What happened? Well, there was a decapitation incident. Are you a little bit less comfortable if your wife or girlfriend or significant other goes to a guy, OBGYN?

No. Not in the slightest. No, not at all. Why, do you? Less now, but younger me, I'd rather her be with a chick. I don't know. That's Woody's playground.

That dude is looking at clam all day. He doesn't even see it as sexual there you know like he's not he's like i think like the the just normal straight guy's perception of an ob is like some hot fox with a perfectly shaved you know uh crotch you know coming in for her just oh i just want to make sure everything's working good. And he's like, oh, well, you know, no weird smells, no weird fungal infections. Like, no, he's getting some fat individuals, some disgusting individuals who come in with horrible muffs, disease-ridden, just a cesspool of nastiness.

I had a friend whose mom was an OBGYN, and she used to make this joke, like whenever she was serving tacos at his house too much cheese on the taco and then everyone would laugh and i didn't know what it meant but it was a reference to disgusting pussies that she had to work on at work oh yeah man i what a terrible job i would not want to be an ob-gyn no that would be one of my least favorite if i had to go into the medical field i wouldn't that would be my last one I don't want that ruined for me now that you say it

I used to play video games for a living and when you make your hobby your job then your hobby becomes a job so that must happen to OBGYNs I would definitely rather be a podiatrist finger me tonight and he's like right you know finger me tonight and he's like ah i've been at work all day my come hither muscle is so tired god damn it i've dilated so many women today pimple popper md oh would you be a A dermatologist

Kind of like in that Seinfeld episode Yeah yeah that was really funny Saving lives Bullshit Pimple Popper MD I had skin cancer Ah skin cancer That's true That's a great episode

What would your Go-to one be? Oh, man. Well, if I were qualified, I suppose, is the real thing. But, you know, I feel like if you're a heart surgeon or something like that, like a cardiologist demands so much respect, right? Like, I feel like, and I mean, if you're a brain surgeon, I mean, that's like a cliche, right? Like, i can't

remember what that bit is from where the guy comes in and he's like uh yeah i'm a uh rocket he's like i'm a brain surgeon yeah yeah yeah and then the other guy's like oh and like like every couple he meets he starts bragging like i'm actually a brain surgeon and they're like oh really i i do uh i'm an accountant oh that's a difficult profession i mean it's not brain surgery and like he does that in succession to like three couples and they all like turn away and discuss and then finally he meets the last guy he's like he's like what do you do oh i'm a rocket scientist. And he's like, oh, really? I'm a brain surgeon. Oh. What a respectable profession, but it's not rocket science. Yes.

That's funny. Those are the two. So you go brain surgeon. No, I go cardiologist. I feel like I like that one. And if you mess up, they probably fix it. Oh, you cut his heart a little there. Oh, we'll stitch it back up real quick.

But if you, like, poke the brain wrong, like, you get a little, and, like, I think it's game over. Now that person's retarded. Yeah. Now their left half doesn't work or something. Or they forget, like, all of grade school. They've got Forrest Whitaker eyes or something bizarre. Like, you don't know what happens when you poke the brain wrong.

No, no, no. You've always looked like that. Just tell him he's got brain damage anyway. Maybe my last time always was like this. I can't remember. Can't sue me if he doesn't know he was ever here. My wife said I was normal normal that's not your wife that's your sister my god worse than my thought yeah something like that you know a heart heart

surgeon something like that and obviously that that pays well a lot it's a respected profession and you're you're definitely saving people's lives like like the the old seinfeld joke kind of rings true in a lot of the, like if you're a podiatrist, I mean, how many like impactful appointments are you actually seeing that aren't like athletes' feet or like, I don't know, corns. Yeah, corns or ingrown toenails or something kind of gross and also mediocre work, right?

Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't want to do that one i feel like orthopedic surgeon would be good because not as much pressure as the heart or the brain they still make a fuck ton of money and it's like real deal difficult as shit surgery so like everybody still knows like that's respectable i would want to be a surgeon that works with mostly healthy people, which sounds crazy, but orthopedic surgeon, like there's a lot of sports medicine type guys. You have highly motivated patients who want to get better.

Like that to me would mean a lot. You know, like the type of patient I have is determined as a type of doctor. I want to be OBGYN, you know, delivering babies. At least you're dealing mostly with happy days, good times, younger patients. When most of your patients die, like an oncologist, maybe that's the case, or someone who works with a lot of older patients, geriatrics and stuff, that would really suck.

I wouldn't like that. Oh, maybe you could be like Dr. Death. You could be the guy who like... Kvorkian. Yeah, assisted suicide doctor. What? Yes, and you could have like a whole menu uh cavorkian yeah assisted suicide doctor yes and you could have like a whole menu of the different ways you offered it cavorkian didn't go far enough it was just one way you could do it like kyle's killing factory you know name in progress is going to have so many options you're going to walk in and it's going to look like rob

deer deck's fantasy factory which is like a really tall thing to jump off of. There's a bunch of punji sticks and a spike at the bottom. There's tons of things. We call this the Mortal Kombat. Basically, you fall 14 stories down below onto a bunch of steel spikes, and then a voice screams Mortal Kombat. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. This is my nurse practitioner, Igor.

He doesn't actually have the qualifications but he takes care of it you're gonna fight him never look oh that would be what would if you were you know getting assisted suicide getting assisted suicide what method would you want to take out i don't need any help right like i feel like if you do need help like i get it if you do, maybe you're bedridden, or you're just like, kill me,

typing it with your pinky or your tongue or something like that. Did you need help? But as long as you are 20% there, you don't need any help. Hang yourself, shoot yourself, one or the other. Park yourself, get wasted, blackout drunk, park your car in the garage, right?

You'll never wake up. Go out listening to some easy listening. Some easy listening. Yeah. And, like, how shitty would it be if, like, your last memory was like, I hate this song. You put your own mix on there right like like that's the real question is what's the mixtape that you want to slowly die to oh man i don't know

what was the song they played to torture people myself i'm a man of wealth and taste come out yeah that that would that's the way to go do you think that one yeah it's a song about the devil right oh you want to be thinking about where you're headed yeah welcome me welcome me into the gates what are you gonna do kyle if if when you die turns out all that shit with jesus was real, and you show up in hell. Are you going to try and make a deal with the devil to send you back or something? You're going to just immediately walk in and be like, it's what I do. Yeah, well, if I could make a deal with the devil, I certainly would, right? If you could do some sort of thing like spawn and come back and-

Is it like spawn, Lucifer? It's nothing like spawn. Shit. My favorite Marvel character. Yeah, I think I would attempt to get a Spawn deal, right? Right? Come back as a superhero or villain. Either way, I'd do his bidding.

Whatever he needed me to do, right? Like, if God sends me to hell, then i'm team devil at that point like he's given up on me the devil sees some worth in me right is this or like some sort of weird rape box or or something like that that you know for all eternity i'll definitely come back and do some evil yeah the devil can't read your mind the way god and jesus can true i read so you're gonna have to like uh i'm pretty sure uh we can get you know woody's mom to clarify on that but it's it sounds right to me like you'd have to show up in hell like already brown nosing your ass off like oh thank god i'm here i was

worried i was gonna end up with that asshole god i mean am i right man why would he kick you out you're you're a great looking dude you're you're Man, I'm so psyched to be able to start on first. The Morningstar himself! Lucifer! Yeah, you better. Beelzebub! I've been looking forward. Could I have your... Can we get a selfie? Do you have

phones here? No? We only have Sprint. No! No! T-Mobile! This is hell. only have sprint this to me you know how Taylor gets irrationally upset when we talk about like which superhero can beat the other superhero that's what we're doing right now in my head like this yeah how would you deal with the devil

keep it up same way you deal with the devil? Keep it up Same way I deal with the Flash This conversation right here will be replayed On a cloud-style big screen Outside the pearly gates I don't think it will Jesus is going to be See right here where you denied me for the 479th time

Turns out that's the magic number 478 I can put up with 479 it's not my fault i wasn't given the gift of faith and really i hold jesus responsible he could have done anything just something to prove his existence sometime in my entire life thus far yeah that's not what faith is yeah you need you need to you can't ask for evidence if it's faith but there have been times where like i'll walk into my you know kitchen late at night like after in college like after drinking i'll be like oh if there's like just one more slice of pizza in there i'll believe in god and then it is there and it's like nah

you have to do more than that for me i wouldn't put the box back if there was no pizza in there. God, you've been foiled. This was me not eating at all. Not you. That's pretty funny, though. But yeah, this is way different than Marvel. Because Marvel's all made up by people just trying to make money.

This is Christianity. Touche. It's pretty different. This is Christianity. Touche. It'd be different. It'd be different. Yeah, yeah. How many Marvel superheroes would it take to beat Jesus?

Oh, please. Some of them are gods. I think Thor might take him straight up. First of all, those are the weak tier gods. They have a whole bunch of them. None of them are omnipotent.

Thor's a straight up god. And look at the two of them next to each other. Unless you're some oddball buff Jesus. Thor's a straight up god and look at the two of them next to each other. Unless you're some oddball buff Jesus. Thor's just an alien. He's a god. They mentioned it several times in the last episode. They've changed that sort of in the lore.

He's an alien. He's a god. And Loki's a god. They say they're gods. They're not. They are. It's a made up, so I can't be proven wrong. I could find a source material that says you're wrong. They're aliens. Chiz agrees.

This profile picture. This guy's profile picture of Jesus. That's the Jesus we're looking at. Oh, shit. Jesus is yoked out of his mind. Wow. This is a savior right there good jesus oh that's buffer than thor quite honestly and he's not even showing his full power god

the only reason he's jesus isn't always walking around like that is because he's humble right like he he's fine just with a great core he doesn't need to be showing off on the beach cut that swimmer's body yeah there's so many pictures of buff jesus like on the cross like breaking the two things like the i know i know the devil's in the marvel comic book so i was watching this whole video series the other day about the most powerful beings in the marvel universe and the dc universe like um um the devil is yeah yeah he's in there somewhere uh but but um that's strong then there's no chance jesus dr uh dr manhattan was uh was one of the most powerful characters because he sort of can rebuild matter and manipulate time and in the whole nine dr manh Manhattan's an interesting character. If they made a Marvel movie about them having to assault heaven

to get Jesus, because they were tired of whatever Jesus was doing, who knows, I'd go see that one. If it was Hulk and all of them trying to assault Jesus, and it's two hours of them planning, and then right before they're about to do it,

it shows Jesus, and he just gives them all brain aneurysm, all dead. Oh, Thanos can do that even more. He snaps his fingers and kills half the universe. Yeah. But Thanos didn't even build the universe. Jesus did.

It says that in the first chapter. Wow. This is quite, Jesus wasn't around in the first chapter. You can't beat me. I got all the facts on my side. But I can make up more because it's fake yeah well we will see about that come judgment day we will man i'm gonna be so pissed if any of these religions end up being true i wonder if

your parents will will pay some price for not having instilled faith in you i like to think that like one of the values is slightly off and it turns out like chickens are sacrilege or something like eating chickens is sacrilege and that's where like there's been a huge fuck up i eat chickens like 360 days a year if you throw in turkey like that would be that'd be my biggest sin for sure my father too he eats chicken all the time just about every meal i would love to him to get the pearly gates this big fucking dude in a feather suit and be like dude you have no idea yeah you're so screwed say chicken peter says no way colonel sanders is in the is in hell and like the deepest pit exactly seventh circle yeah

yeah colonel sanders is satan oh i would like that devil sanders yeah spicy yeah i i like uh well i was gonna say i like thinking about this but i'm realizing i never think about going to hell because like i'm not or heaven you know it'd be pretty dope if that was all real and i and i believed it you know like i think that that definitely is a valuable thing that brings people a lot of comfort is like you'll see people like billy graham who just died who lived to be like a hundred and uh had met like every president since like the fucking you know world war ii or some shit. And like as he was dying, you just know that dude was like, I'm coming home, Jesus.

Like I'm totally happy with this. I had a wonderful life you've blessed me with and I'm on the way. And then poof, he's gone. And in my view, he didn't go anywhere. He just died. There's Buddha. And he's just like, oh, no. What have I done? he just there's buddha and he's just like oh no oh if i if i arrive there and it's one of the you know the silly religions the a-league gods xenu is there you should have listened to tom

cruise yeah if it's that um many armed indian guy if it's buddha i'll be way happier about that than if it's like jesus or allah because i don't I'm going to be able to talk around Jesus or Allah. They seem pretty headstrong. And like, oh, you didn't follow the rules? You're not coming in? I think it's Yahweh that you have to beware of. Jesus, he'd let some shit slide, right? Jesus would be the good cop to Yahweh's bad cop.

Absolutely, yeah, yeah. Jesus is like, come on, Dad. He didn't mean it. He did a whole show about it. He's got to just listen to this bit. Yeah. No, that was a joke. I appeared to you thrice as Rufus, and you rebuked me each time.

It's like you had a hammer in your hand. I'm a carpenter. I'm a carpenter. Yeah. Yeah. You were black. Yes. Oh, man. That'd be even more interesting. You were black. Man, that'd be even more shocking.

You show up in Jesus is black. You're like, I'm going to... What? You're black? Hell yeah. And he'd be like 4'11". Like those little people back then. My mom said you were white.

Put your ass on another elevator, Mr. Game Attack. You can't get off this one either. Yes. That would be like a form of hell, right? Being on a perennial elevator that you never arrived at your destination. It's real bad. That would suck. But you can't. being on a perennial elevator that you never arrived at your destination that would that would suck but you can't can't what you can't piss see i i like the supernatural the the tv show supernatural their version of heaven and basically like everyone who dies who actually

goes to heaven is in like their own little apartment like a little bubble that's customized to them. They get their own heaven that's just their heaven. They're not in some place called heaven with a bunch of other dudes. Because my heaven is completely different than your heaven. Your heaven is completely different than Chiz's heaven, right? So everyone gets their

own version. And the same thing with hell. You get customized versions of hell. Whatever would be the worst thing for you. Because some people like some weird shit, right? There's some people who have a fetish for bugs crawling on them. Well, you wouldn't want to send that guy to bug hell, right?

Meanwhile, some guy with arachnophobia, straight to bug hell. Some guy with that shit thing is getting introduced to his room and the walls will be covered with shit 24, no you don't go in yet you're supposed to be at 8 yeah that would be shitty

my hell it would have nothing on TV but it would have the full DC and Marvel DVD collection right there you have all of eternity to be angry at the bow and arrow guy. Hawkeye.

That would be a show. What would your hell be? The entertainment that they would bring. I don't want to tempt fate. A billion years of baseball, but only the first part of the season. It's all meaningless. They're all spring training games. They must have been using the starters.

That would be the worst. I don't know. Maybe Wings of Red redemption is my roommate and can't go can't go out right and i'm imagining this like the way you described it we're all in our little shitty apartment like that's what hell is and what's in that apartment that makes it hell so your roommate wings is there i don't have uh i don't have any cell phone service no 4g or anything i've got just enough that i can see the reddit titles but when i click it right like so all the nsfw pixels of each image show in yeah yeah i think it's a redhead yeah when he's like How old is she? Jesus.

Get your own device. What energy? It's mine too. It's mine too. You both looked in the refrigerator. I think it would be just paranormal videos. Is that what it is? Is that the movie series where barely anything happens, but like a hose moves and you know that it's a bad thing yeah that was the one where like it's like

paranormal activity yeah yeah yeah paranormal activity actually pretty good movie like the first time or maybe even just the first one or two and then it becomes incredibly boring just security cam footage that false see you my friend did you catch that they're all the same family i mean i like i almost i to be honest i didn't until afterwards i read about it and like it sort of tied it together and such for me but i mostly just find it becomes too boring to pay attention to by the third or fourth movie that would be my hellish entertainment. I didn't watch enough of those to know it was the same family.

I think I only saw the first one. All right, well, fuck me then. I guess I'm the one who... No, I think I saw the second one, maybe. I don't know. I haven't seen those in forever. So the one that's in L.A. with some Mexican guy,

that one's fucking stupid. I didn't like that one um the first two films very much connected and scared the shit out of me i remember being in a hotel room with a girl in la and and like being like hey you want to watch a scary movie and she was like yeah i guess i don't really like scary movies i was like i don't either that's why i like watching them lately let's watch paranormal activity 2 i think think it was. And I just remember like, like she's, we're like sitting up in bed and I'm like holding her and she's holding me.

And we're just holding each other, watching it. And every time like something happens, we're just like, ah, it was like a roller coaster. Those movies are fucking scary. Sometimes there's something that happens.

It's like, did you put the vacuum robot in the pool? No. Did you put the vet? It's pool no did you put the vet it's in there for some reason yeah a ghost i guess i don't know this is did you put that letter in the mail no but it went out this is a pretty handy ghost i could have sworn i pushed all the chairs into the table but now one of them is not pushed in i don't know i think the footage especially in the first one of them asleep and the door like opens and something like walks in and then you all and you you're like staring at that door so just staring at the darkness into

the darkness trying to see what it is and then you hear like a loud crash like way downstairs and then the lady's waking up with bite marks on herself and they put the baby powder on the floor to see what's walking in the room at night right and there's hoof marks in the fucking baby's powder then they hear the noise up in the attic so like when she when he starts going up into the attic i'm just like no no don't go in the no no no don't go in it don't go in the attic no don't go and he's just like starts he's like panning his head super slowly when when you know in real life you'd be like like like cover 360 degrees in a fraction of a second like that that fucking scared the shit out of me that was so fucking scary i i yeah i didn't care for that i remember uh you're making a good point probably

a couple years ago now but uh the other one you recommended that was really scary that didn't get me as much as I thought it would was Babadook. Babadook scared me so much I had to stop watching. That's the only scary movie I've ever seen that I – my girlfriend and I were both just like – I was like, ah! That's it. We're done. We're fucking done here. She's in bed. The door opens.

And it just starts crawling in on the ceiling upside fucking down. And she hides under the covers from it. And it's like right above her bed. And when she pulls the covers down, it like flips and falls right down on her like face to face. And it's got a terrifying face i i cut it off right there i turn it off right there and i know what the babadook is about i know the symbolism i know the meaning of the whole thing and the depression and all that stuff the monster that was shown on screen fucking scared the fuck out of me i'd much rather be depressed than have that

thing skittering about on my ceiling. Oh, absolutely. I'll take depression a thousand times out of a thousand than that. Chiz and I watched The Conjuring the other night. And when those little girls are in bed and something jerks one of them's foot, and she's like, stop pulling my foot, because she thinks it's her sister. And then she sits up and looks over, and the sister's sound asleep. And she's looking around, and she's like looking around and she like peering into the pitch black darkness and there's something behind the door and she's

just sobbing she's something's behind the door something's behind the door oh god it that movie is really fucking scary the first two acts i've heard it's very scary. The Conjuring is not just a good scary movie. It's a great movie. If you look at best horror movies of all time, it'll be in the top ten list, along with The Exorcist and stuff like that. Answer me this about it. Is it one of those that is totally high on jump scares? No.

Or is it one that cultivates that horrifying aura that you feel? Because those are the ones, yeah, the creepy feel that permeates everything. Those are the ones that really get you later because the pop-out ones, you'll go to bed that night, and you're like, whatever. It was all just like, oh, you startled me. But those creepy ones, you'll keep thinking about it. Yeah, I watched Creep 2, Chiz, and Creep 1.

Those were very creepy. The Conjuring builds an absolutely terrifying aura of just helplessness, because the dad, who's the guy who plays the dad, Chiz? He's from Band of Brothers. He was not the red-headed guy, but Ron Livingston. Ron Livingston is like the father, the patriarch of the family, like five little girls, his wife, and he's a long-haul truck driver, so frequently he has to

leave them alone and it's just the mom to look after the little girls and then just shit shit gets scary shit gets fucking scary and and and you know there's the team of paranormal investigators who come in and there's a little bit all the parts are very well acted there there's some jump scares like there are in every horror movie even Even The Exorcist had a couple of jump scares like when she's in the attic with the little candle and the candle like explodes in her hand

or whatever. But it definitely earns its scary moments. It's a good movie. I'll check that out. The Exorcist is so good. I watched The Exorcist just the other day.

The original one? Let Jesus fuck you! Let Jesus fuck you you my son likes scary movies but he's never seen them so he goes on youtube and he watches i think it's called death count are you guys familiar with this at all it's how many people die in a movie yeah and i i think they might show the deaths or something like it really it's i'm not parenting very well i should know what he's watching on youtube but uh but, he'll come and he'll be like, Dad, do you like Saw?

And I'm like, I've seen it. It was pretty good. 13 people died in Saw. I should be watching what you watch on YouTube more carefully. Clearly. It's a good, family-friendly, wholesome channel. How many people died in this horrible movie? And he's not even getting the build-up to scary movies.

He's just getting the brutal part, the climax. And I should say, Woody, I'm not sure if you're aware how many Saw movies have been made. Those deaths, I'm out of touch at this point, maybe seven. Those deaths get worse and gorier and more gratuitous as they go.

I watched, somehow they got recommended to me just the other day. I was watching Family Guy clips and all of a sudden it's like, you want to watch the laser collar from Saw? Like, yeah? And then it's like, you want to watch the bucket head from Saw?

And it's like, no, but yeah. But I'm going to watch it. Do you want to watch the piano wires pulling the people's legs apart from... No. No, I don't. No, I don don't those are really gory and traumatizing they are the best one of that series is the first one and i guess i'm making a judgment there because i haven't seen all seven but i'm gonna go out on a limb and i saw the first five i think and after the first one they

kind of suck you know they're just not very good. They must be in the backpack. Or did you like them? I don't like them. I liked the first one. But it's degenerated into this sort of like torture porn. I didn't like Hostel. I didn't like the Emerald. What is it?

The Emerald Fury or something like that. What's the one where they they're dealing with the natives that are torturing the green inferno? If you're a real heartless person who's a glutton for torture porn, watch the green

inferno. I haven't even heard of that. There's one called is it Brazilzil or the hostile hostile yeah oh this is the same guy's hostile eli roth i think it's eli roth it's the one where they like it starts off on a vacation kind of a beach party and then they find themselves running for their lives they're in europe and they are drugged and kidnapped and they go to a place where rich people pay to torture people to death. Yeah.

And they're like secured to a chair with a bunch of implements in the room and they torture people to death, like slowly for fun. I know that one. It's not the one I'm thinking of. The one I'm thinking of, it might be called Brazil. Basically, they were,

I think they find themselves like stranded on a beach. You know, they're on vacation at a beach and then for whatever reason, their ride home isn't there. And they're like, hey, you know, let's just party it up. And by the next morning, people are trying to like harvest them for their liver and things like that. And they escape and they're on the run. And it's pretty good, pretty scary. Eli Roth made the Green Inferno, I think, as well as Hostile.

He is the Jew Bear from Inglourious Bastards. Yes, the Jew Bear. The Bear Jew. Yeah. A Jew Bear, that's just a very frugal forest dweller. Two berries? I'm not in this climate.

Eli Roth is fucked. He's got those black eyes oh he did cabin fever too that's true chiz yeah yeah he's been in a lot of movies yeah he seems to really really like to just push the envelope with with gore which kind of gets tedious after a while you know and hopelessness like like like most stories have have most stories in the in media have happy endings or at least middle of the road endings like but his films are so often like they leap at the end of uh cabin fever right you think the one guy's like i made it i made it the cops finally show up and he's like i help me help me i'm not infected and they just gun him down they just gun him down right there,

and they burn him up with a flamethrower. They burn the cabin down with a flamethrower, and then the camera pans, and we realize that the whole town's water supply has been infected with the virus. Not only that, but they're bottling it up and trucking it out on semi-trucks, so the whole country will now be infected with it.

The Green Inferno, I'm pretty sure, they all just get torture eaten to death. And there is some gruesome... Oh, it's a cannibalism kind of thing. Yes, there's a vagina sewn shut. There's all kinds of fucking shit that go... Yeah, sewn shut. How does that help you eat someone?

Oh, well, that's a... She was a... Eli Roth is a sick man. Oh, like a turducken, you know, where they put a duck and a turkey and then something else in there? They do that with... Man, that's grotes man. Oh, like Turducken, where they put a duck and a turkey and then something else in there? They do that with... Man, that's grotesque. Yeah, it's awful.

It's awful. It's fucked. They made two more cabin fever movies? The first one was enough. It was enough! People need to stop going to that corner of the woods. Yeah, I don't like... I don't like the... The other one is... Fuck, what what's it called it's the one where

there's mutants out in the like oh hills have eyes hills have eyes that's fucked hills have eyes too the beginning scene i think it was a rape scene in the beginning like i i think i might have turned that off right in the beginning of it you know i watched it like right when it came out and i think i might have turned that off right in the beginning of it you know i watched it like right when it came out and i think like i just stopped it because it was it just came off as creepy because they weren't even just like you know some suave guy who's rich like hostile some of those guys where it's like oh my god i would never notice that guy in public he just looks like a normal businessman like they were like that fucking uh felties from 300 where they're just all you know spotty and then uh clint uh whatever the fuck the guy we're talking about earlier

his eyes and head you know uh clint howard yeah his his head on felt's body from 300 and they're just like horribly raping and torturing him. Oh, terrible. Are you caught up on, is it Terror, The Terror, the show we've been watching? You know, I haven't watched the most recent episode of The Terror. The last episode of The Terror I saw was when, what was the last?

It was the eighth episode. I haven't seen the ninth episode. Yeah. It's bleak. Bleak is the best word to describe that fucking show uh it is bleak it is well made well acted interesting but bleak yeah i'm bleak is perfect i thought i was caught up now that you mentioned it there was a show last night so i didn't see that but i'm enjoying it again there was a moment where i felt like it stalled too much.

But I'm back on board now. I guess I'll watch the remaining episode. Then there's the last one. There's only 10, right? Correct-man-do. We're about to see how this thing ends. Yeah, they're just all going to die. Nothing goes their way.

It's not going to. They're all going to die. I think that was made clear in the very first episode. Like the first minutes of the first episode when the Eskimo hands him the buttons. They're like, they said not to come, not to follow, or like go away or run or something like that.

It's funny. So you say they made it clear in the very first episode. I'm wired differently in that I don't trust it, right? They're like, oh, they said trust it right they're like oh they said to say that they're dead and not to follow them oh well what made them say that they said that that means they're saying things like i i don't know that the ending they told us is going to be the ending they're all dead uh the the only thing that might happen is maybe one of them survives and has to cut his tongue out to be like the polar monster's muse

or whatever the fuck. Like one of them might meet that end. And it might be the guy who's kind of sweet on the Eskimo chick. Maybe that gets worked out for him. But everybody else is a goner. Yeah, the half-assed doctor. I've been watching Westworld, and this week's episode of Westworld

is one of the best episodes that's ever been made of that fucking show. Last week's episode, one of the worst. Last week's episode was so bad that I didn't watch this week's episode until yesterday or something like that. And then I watched this week's episode, and I was like,

oh, I'm fired up again for Westworld. It was fucking excellent. It was William Hurt's... How much is out now? Three episodes, I believe. I'm just waiting for this series to get out so I can just watch it all. Yeah, it's very good. Big fan.

What do you got here, Chiz? You got some fun stuff? Oh, okay. Oh, Ice is putting that annoying... I should say this is in quotations. Ice is going to put annoying cunt Cassandra in the box house for 12 hours. He's live right now.

Oh, that's funny. That's great. Ice built a dog house on his back porch. He called it a house. It's a dog house. And is Cassandra the one who was masturbating and with the methamphetamine? What? Oh no, no. That's Aaron. Um, yeah. People say ice isn't interesting. Uh, so Aaron is the, is the, is the, uh, the crazy one who's on lithium,

right? Ah, that's Cassandra. Cassandra's on lithium, right? Ah, that's Cassandra. Cassandra's on the lithium. So he's putting the girl with lithium in the box. And so... Without her lithium, I hope. Is she going to get to take her lithium with her? Hope so, right? Are things going to get rough in that box?

You hope so or hope she doesn't? I hope they give her her drugs so that we don't have anything scary happen at Ice's house. So you can see the box now. It's five feet high. The brunette is on lithium. Where did these girls come from? Were they just like fans of the stream and they showed up?

Well, Mexican Andy has his ways. I would have thought Scuff Jeff Bridges would get it done. That's pretty good. Crowded house of people. Yeah, Erin is the methed out blonde who fingers herself on Periscope. Yeah, I watched all those streams. Was she also the one who's rubbing oil on her ass in the kitchen and stuff and squatting over the camera? Yeah, those are good videos.

Well, I would think that would get you banned from periscope no periscope how long is this gonna last for ice is ice like it could go a couple different directions it could grow yeah i i hear yeah and it's funny because he was i feel like big before the first pka kind of at a low on his first appearance here and has hit all new heights it's my perception of it from the outside but at some point right like the maybe youtube doesn't like what he's doing he's gonna hit a bump in the road right you can't just put on like bum fights hit a bump in the road and kind of got knocked over. Well, that was a step further, right?

Where is Ice headed on this? No, I think he's good. Like Chiz is saying there, he had nearly 50,000 concurrent viewers the other day on the CX Factor 2. That's amazing. He's averaging 50,000. Almost 50,000. Jesus. You know, no crime, no nudity. They keep the racism kind of in check, out in check.

You know, I don't know. They have a good fucking time, man. I think he's going to I think he's going to keep growing. And he's he's kind of smart about what he's doing. You know, he can make anything fairly interesting. I'm sure they're going to do another RV trip. They're looking at getting like party buses and stuff like that. But he's made a good bit of money from the RV trip, you know, tens of thousands of dollars. A lot of his things haven't been profitable, but his life. But like over the last couple of weeks, he's made maybe 50 grand or 60 grand, something like that. One of the things I admire about his business, because it takes a certain business bravery, is that he spends money to make money. You know, that RV trip cost approaching 10 grand, we'll say, right?

Okay, I was going to rent an RV for this trip I'm about to go on. It was $3,200. I would guess he's spending at least that. Plus, he has the repairs and the damages and this and that. He'll be, if $3,200 is what it costs for good behavior, bad behavior must cost over five grand. It was honestly right at 3200 well that was the so it cost him 3200 worth of security deposit and then i don't know what the

rv actually cost um so he made like accidents with it right like they're literally gonna repair it that was fake he didn't get any accidents okay well that's cheaper fake accidents yeah yeah it was just saying right here they made about thirty thousand dollars from the rv trip uh that's great but i guess what i'm saying is it does seem like he spends a little money even just the random i have ebola and i'm in a ball and i rented a rider truck and i'm going through the streets it was an expense right you know compared to gamer live streams where they just get a capture card, like $150, and they've done everything. Yeah, he has expenses, of course.

And some things are bigger than others. I mean, the CX factory did the other day had its expenses such that they are. He also has an amazing network of people who are there to help him, though. Like, when he decided he was going to build a build a house air quotes in his backyard last night so many people showed up to help him with that people were so many people showed up to help with that he didn't do anything there's other people just showed up and fucking there were tools and and mexican andy and handy andy

and honduran andy and uh and scuff j Carrey and, and Brandon. And this is a whole, there was pizza out of nowhere. Hey, uh, man bun. Andy was there like, like they just got it done. I can't believe for this long.

I thought that he just knew a lot of Andy's. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, yeah, he's, he's an entertaining fella. Good for him.

I had no idea that kind of money was coming in. Could you find us a picture of scuffed Jim Carrey with his new haircut? Because every time I look at him, I die laughing. Oh, is that when he looks like Friar Tuck? Yeah, yeah. He's got the Friar Tuck fucking haircut, and it's purple, and he looks a lot like Jim Carrey. Like dumb and dumber version of Jim Carrey. He's hysterical.

And I keep saying it because I don't want anyone to be like oh but he beats his wife. That's not funny. No it's not funny that he beats his wife. But he's funny. There are other things about him that are funny. Probably so. Probably so.

But there are other things about him that are funny. Just looking at him. That's what I enjoy. Just the haircut. Yeah. Well, that's interesting. What else did Chiz link up there? I think it's... Oh, something about Wings. Oh, it's Wings race quitting

from... What do you call it? God of War. Oh, yeah. Let's watch this timestamp thing for his hair. Dude, it's so... I'm just, I got to pause. Oh, Jesus Christ.

I hope it didn't pause. It's the greatest thing. It's so good. Can we click on play together? Yeah, yeah. Ready, the greatest thing. It's so good. Can we click on play together? Yeah. Ready, set, play. Oh my God. Look at this guy.

Does he even have like a cloak on right now? Like he is a friar. He does. He absolutely does. He's not holding the camera high enough. There. He's just peeking out. I feel like if he's taller than the other people, he could get away with it. It doesn't...

He was on his knees last night. Oh, he's showing his head now. It's so flat. Ah! I destroyed the monastery. He's giving him his blessings. Some random guy on the street. Saying he just joined the monastery.

Oh, that's really funny. He's just walking around by himself. His eyebrows are purple. I think. Oh yeah, you're right. I didn't notice that. His eyebrows are purple. think oh yeah you're right I didn't notice that his eyebrows are purple he's enjoying that ice cream yeah he is he chews with his mouth open well this multitasker I like that my streamers blessings be to you my brother look at at this guy. He can be a fucking character himself

The monastery allows you to document my life Who would this guy be in their clan This guy yeah the redhead herehead. Scuffed Carrot Top? Scuffed Carrot Top. That's not bad. I just joined the monster. That's a 12 hour video. 12 HOURS?

The man's dedicated to his craft, Woody. That kind of dedication? You ever see Wings do a stream longer than 20 minutes? Not lately. I just skipped 7 hours ahead. I just skipped seven hours ahead. At 7.05.03, he appears to be sitting at a bar drinking with someone who's head-to-toe covered in tattoos with red clown hair. That's Sam.

No, that is not. This is head-to-toe covered in tattoos. His face is tattooed. Ah, well, that is not This is head to toe covered in tattoos His face is a tattoo Ah, well that's Okay Wowzers What an interesting character Oh, wait, wait, does this say

The total funding up there? Yeah, it looks like he's trying to finance A Japan trip He's $167 in, which apparently is 3% of the way. Oh, if you skip ahead seven hours, he's $200 in. Oh my god, someone just donated a dime. He went from 4% to 4.04%. They donated 20 cents.

This is why they refer to these sort of people, these hanger-ons, as leeches. Because I watched Ice go to Home Depot last night and every few minutes it was $100. Gosh, darn. Wow. Hey, we're all making the most of it. Good for them. Yeah, no.

This is fascinating to me. It's fascinating to know what happens to Ice in the long run. Does he become a multi-millionaire or does he start working for I'm trying to think of one of the hanger-on

non-Twitch streaming services like Ustream or something like that. Some new startup Keck.com pays him minimally because he can't go anywhere else like that that's a possibility or i saw the other day it's bigger bigger start his own websites i think it was was selling his own ads yeah he could do that for sure but i saw something the other day that like uh all of twitch live irl streamers like combined were not getting as many viewers as Ice was.

And it wasn't like, oh, we're beating them by 10. It was like thousands of people more. Twitch fucking hates him. Ice is going to be DJing at some, what's the name of the concert? EDM or something like that? EDC. EDC, yeah. Ice is going to be on stage, I guess, DJing at that for some

segment of time this weekend. And Twitch was going to be live streaming that whole event, I guess. And then Twitch tweets out we'll no longer be live streaming EDC now that we've heard that Ice Poseidon will be on stage. They are not

in the Ice Poseidon business. They don't want any part of that guy. Why? Why wouldn't they kind of strike while the iron's hot with him? He's been banned from Twitch. Yeah, but you know how giant, you know, YouTubers and streamers, like, they can kind of fudge the rules a little bit and get away with it because they provide so much value? Twitch bans people who are even associated with Ice.

If they, like, have ice on their stream, they get banned. That sort of thing. They really don't like him over there. What did he do on Twitch that they banned him for? I can't think of it off the top of my head. I bet Chiz knows.

I bet Chiz has a whole Google Doc. What did he do? He wrote, I forget normie shit. What? You guys, did you really forget? Or are you just not saying it? I don't even think I ever knew, so I couldn't have forgotten.

Not you. I meant Kyle and Chiz. Yeah, I just don't remember. I don't remember. It's been a while. I don't remember either. Well, good for him. That's's awesome yeah yeah i enjoyed the show i'm gonna be watching it later on tonight after this show i got my uh enormous box of jerky from from harley guess he was just he got on the plane and they swatted him while he

was there he wasn't even live streaming i think at the time he was just live streaming like at the gate and then uh yeah they they banned him for that it seems yeah okay um you got your jerky yes i uh mine showed up the other day uh it's a gargantuan box woody has it back there behind him uh harley's got his own fucking jerky company um they're gonna be in every walmart in the planet very soon right now i think they're in every walmart in the united states look how big that fucking box is it's gigantic uh i haven't tried it yet but everyone who's had it says it's really fucking good mm-hmm they say they're like they're like it tastes like pizza

and it's good it really does I like it too and the the packs they look like pizza slices which is a nice little aesthetic thing and it's like 200 calories per little container and so you won't have to like you can just take one with you as a little snack yeah it's crazy yeah you got harley's face up there yeah yeah yeah it's very good i like that uh that promo box that's neat yeah that'll make harley a couple million dollars oh hell yeah i hope so oh my god it's in in every Walmart in the country. Yeah. Yeah. He's going to be raking it in.

You know how those white trash people like that sort of thing. Yeah. Well, let's not disparage the potential consumers to Jeremy's Pizza in a Bag company. Jeremy loves jerky. You could make a million. So Walmart doesn't pay for their inventory though, right? You pay to rent on their shelves and then you put your inventory on the shelves and if it moves you make money i think that's how their business model works well it's uh more likely than not they would

you know it seems like he has a special deal with walmart like an exclusivity deal because he's not in any other stores that's kind of my understanding because the way he promotes it is i'm in every walmart and so yeah it's so early now. Who knows? Hopefully it's moving really well off the shelves for him. Yeah. That would be great. Yeah.

And I mean, if you're going to be in one store, Walmart is the one to be in. Yep. So that's great. Good for him. I like how he parlayed that expertise of making big, silly meals into like, yeah, now i'm the sauce boss i've built up enough of a persona for myself that you'll buy my jerky like really neat i like i like seeing that that could be the thing non-internet success come into fruition like it a lot of youtubers you know it starts off with you make ad money right you know you make your google ads or whatever

and that it pays well it's nice but dude having a product that's where the money is like that's it's a whole nother league he's gonna make more with this than he ever did through epic mealtime as long as it stays in as long as it stays in the stores and they don't like struggle moving products like he's gonna make a shit ton of money right right yeah that yeah i hope he does great he could he could enter a new stratosphere of wealth oh yeah and i guarantee they're not stopping you know super snack time at one item you know they've already got their three three flavors they're gonna i think they have three buffalo pepperoni and supreme i'd have to look in the box over there

but i think that sounds right but you know he'll move into like a slim jim style product or he'll move into something with cheese in it like who knows he's good that's where i where like i admire guys i might be tempted to stop rolling the dice you know if i'm harley and suddenly i'm worth 15 million dollars because my jerky product went wild at wal. I might be like, you know what? I retire. I'm done. I have $15 million. I'm good. We don't need to keep rolling the dice,

hoping I hit sevens all night long. I won. I mean, more likely than not, if these things start flying off the shelves, Walmart might even be asking him, like, hey, what other ideas do you have? Do you have anything else? We'd love to put your,

you know, smoked cheese or whatever, uh, in, in the same section. Have you thought about that? And then all it would take is him setting R and D to it. And you're not wrong.

It could go both ways. Like the OCC chopper guys. I think they're an interesting story. You know, they, they, they made motorcycles. They had a small little shop and then it gets bigger and bigger.

OCC chopper becomes like a part of American culture. And it's this giant thing. It seemed like the show every two weeks, they were moving into a bigger facility and going wild. Now they're broke. Now they're out of money. They just kept rolling the dice and, you know,

reinvesting more into the business until the business's overhead was so huge the show got canceled it's all wrapped up it's done they're broke that that's where they are and i didn't know they were broke yeah i haven't even thought about that show in 10 years i watched the show like 18 months ago they're on youtube like trying to bring it back and they just film like a where we are it was kind of sad really and uh i don't know that they ever made an episode two. I had to pawn my mustache. Yeah. He's like trying to pawn his old bikes to the Pawn Stars guy.

Not going to get you anything. Sorry. Not taking my time, slot asshole. Yeah. Jesus is saying he thought there were talks of the show coming back. There might be talks of the show coming back. Don't make you rich. The thing was a really sad story, the thing I saw on YouTube.

They showed it. And that can be one of the outcomes of just keep rolling the dice. If they had stopped, if they were like, you know what? The real money is not in these motorcycles. The motorcycles are kind of a front. We're making money on hats and t-shirts at every shop in the mall in the world. And if they had just sort of pumped that and then stop selling t-shirts

when it was done, they'd have retired with tens of millions. But instead they just, I don't know, kept going thinking the ride would never end. And, uh, you know,

sometimes you keep going and thinking the ride will never end and you become a you keep going and thinking the ride will never end and you become a billionaire and sometimes you keep rolling the dice you eventually crap out yeah nothing says douchebag like wearing one of those shirts or hoodies now but there was a time when when i never wore one but i think there was a time was popular as a part of american culture yep yeah yeah i don't know. Douchebag culture. I always thought it's like those fucking, what's the MMA shirts and all that shit? Tap out and affliction. Where everybody had their bedazzled shirt.

I have a total bedazzled Joe Lozon walkout shirt from Tokyo. And his whole crew, when they saw the walkout shirts they're like oh my god what is it with mma and ugly shirts don't make it true but i still value the shirt because it was yeah yeah but uh it was true did you see any of the fights this week only highlights afterwards i think i feel like i'm less hanging on every word that MMA has to say than I used to. Yeah, there was an interesting thing with the Raquel Pennington-Amanda Nunez fight. Raquel Pennington was just taking a beating all night. She wasn't getting anything done.

Amanda Nunez was just peppering her all night, and she was getting more and more worn down. And at the end of the fourth, her nose was broken, and she was bleeding a little bit, and one of her eyes was about to swell shut. It was about halfway gone. And she tells her corner, I'm done. I want to be done.

She wants to throw in the towel and quit. And he's just like, no, no, no, you can't quit. You just got to throw everything you got at her. You just got to get back in there, and you got to go. And sends her back out there to get her nose completely smashed and just the announcer said pints of blood which is of course absurd there was like double handfuls of blood coming out of her nose and like she had to go to the hospital and it took like five hours for her to get seen at the at the hospital because

they're in fucking brazil and uh fucking Brazil. It was a beating that a lot of people that saw that didn't think she should have taken. Of course, she's defended her coaches since. I saw some people like Misha Tate being like, that's what coaches are supposed to do. They're supposed to send you back out there. It's like, Jesus, it's not football though. A Hail Mary doesn't cost you brain cells.

She might never look the same again. Whether you like it or not, that might mean something in her game. The prettiest fighter is just as lucrative sometimes as the fighter with the best hands. It was kind of rough to see. And also, I watched the whole fight. So Nunez was grabbing Pennington's top and like trying to pop her titty out. Like she did it like twice. And like between rounds, like after the second round or the third round, Pennington's like, she keeps grabbing it.

She keeps grabbing it. They're like, don't worry about that. Don't worry about that. You know, what you got to do is this, this and that. I hated that. I didn't like that at all. I want to see that. I missed it.

She was dominating her. She was cutting her legs out from under her with leg kicks and stuff. There was nothing that Pennington could do because it didn't seem like she knew how to defend against leg kicks well. She just raised the leg, threw herself off balance, opening herself up to a left. It looked bad. There was no losing this fight for Nunez at any point.

At no point did it look scary for her But she's trying to pop the chick's titty out She's reaching and grabbing the top Right here and pulling Pulling her with the top I didn't like seeing that The problem is there's only a couple Interesting female fighters

There's Joanna Champion And Rose Namahunes Namahunes, something like that Those two, the rest of that weight class no one cares about there's nunez the rest of that weight class no one cares about oh come on valentina shevchenko that's the one that's who that's what i want to see i'm very excited about a rematch between valentina shevchenko and nunez because i think she beats her i thought i thought she may have beaten her their first fight. I want to see that.

I like that chick a lot. And her super cringy dances she does after each fight and everything. I like her a lot. I want to see that fight. I'm going to half agree. In my opinion, one and a half interesting fighters. I would say Valentina Shevchenko is not quite as interesting as Nunez. And then at the next weight class up there's only one Cyborg Cyborg and whatever like first fight UFC entrant they find Nunez versus

Cyborg is the most interesting female fight left on the board sure sure Cyborg's talking about like completing her current contract and then going off to boxing you seen that really yeah she's done boxing before and she gets her she loses she does fine but she loses that's interesting and i don't know that i i does female boxing make any money well i don't know maybe maybe it would for cyborg because she's kind of a name also saw yair rodriguez got cut uh like one of my favorite fighters he did not want to fight that russian or Dagestani guy, whatever. He's got a very difficult name, like Habib Kabababababababov. I can't think of it right now, but he was supposed to fight this guy who's ranked very low, but the analysts

are like, this is a top five guy who's just about to work his way up. He just needs to get the fights, and he'll be a top five guy like like like you can look at this guy and tell he's he's fighting at like 145 i think but he's like six one something crazy like that tall and thin yeah and uh just a real fucking warrior and they they match yeah you're up against him and uh the tweet goes out from i don't know cbs sports something like that and and it's it's like you, Yair Rodriguez versus Zabit is confirmed, blah, blah, blah, in Vegas. And then Yair tweets out fake news. And then Dana White tweets out something like, you're going to get cut or like your papers are in the mail.

No, no, no. Someone else tweeted that he'd been cut from the UFC and that they could confirm that his, basically, his pink slip was in the mail no no someone else tweeted that that he'd been cut from the ufc and that that they could confirm that his basically his pink slip was in the mail and the dana white tweets real news it's like yeah i just fired that motherfucker for not taking that fight they're done with him i it's too bad because i liked watching him fight i love watching him fight yeah it's also too bad that he turned down the fight. I love watching him fight. Yeah. It's also too bad that he turned down the fight. You know, I,

if he went in there and did his whole flippity flip, spinny shit stuff and lost, I'd still want to watch him fight the next guy. Did you see John Jones? Hilarious tweet the other night. All right. Chuck Liddell. Yes.

Yeah. Yes. So Chuck Liddell, Taylor, you probably remember Chuck. He was the Iceman. He had his own energy drink or whatever, right? He was in the Expendables, right?

Well, now he's probably running a little cash and he's been trying to get a fight with Tito Ortiz and really anybody. And I guess Chuck had been tweeting at Jon Jones, who's the baddest motherfucker alive. And I guess Chuck had been tweeting at John Jones, who's the baddest motherfucker alive, and Daniel Cormier knows it. And John Jones tweets back at him.

He goes, in all seriousness, at Chuck Liddell, I appreciate your offer for a fight, but due to scheduling conflict, but due to scheduling conflicts, may not be able to fulfill till mid-2019. In the upcoming months, I have similarly lethal opponents in Ric Flair and George Foreman

awaiting. Just heartless. Just mean as fuck. And then another tweet. He was like, I'll fly your ass to Albuquerque right now. We can do this. He's going to brain damage this poor, brain-damaged

Chuck Liddell. Chuck Liddell has brain damage. He abuses alcohol, and he's been hit in the brain way too many fucking times. Well, the cocaine doesn't hurt his brain. It's the alcohol. I'm sure they can't help. Ah, keep some alert.

Focused. You know, sounds right. Okay. I'm sure they can't help. Ah, keep some alert. Focused. Hmm. You know, sounds right. I've seen movies, you know. They always do it before they make big stock trades and such. Yeah, I don't know. I swear, I just need the big names back in MMA. Now I'm such a flipping casual at this point.

But I'm like, can we get a Ferguson, Conor, or Khabib? Two out of those three guys fight each other. Can we get that? Because I'd like to see that. It'll happen eventually. I'm looking forward to Khabib's next fight. He's going to fight this fall for sure Holloway Ortega I want to see that

sure yeah I've been showing all the fights that card the other night was very good like it looked like a shit card from the outside but like the fights I think all but maybe two were you know did not go to

the scorecards however you want to put that. And it was real sad when Nunez, first of all, it was like 2 a.m. Brazil time. So I'm sure that factored in. But Nunez is giving her victory speech, which is going back and forth between Portuguese and English and is the most long winded shit ever. Like she's she's she like, thanking her opponent. She's bringing her girlfriend in. Like, she's going way too long. And you look, and the stands are fucking empty.

There were more people at my high school football games than there were left in the stadium. And, like, at one point, the camera actually cuts to the crowd, and there's, like, 13 people in the expensive seats remaining the crowd and there's like 13 people in the expensive seats remaining like like there were legitimately 200 people there like still listening to her babble on about about this and that like i i bet the p i bet the pay-per-view numbers were shit as well i don't know if they've come out yet you ready to call a wrap yeah i guess so i uh i enjoyed that show um It was fun.

Yeah, go check out Anthony Kumi over at Compound Media. He's always doing some funny shit. Best wishes to poor Artie Lang, who's apparently in a fucking hospital. Yeah, hopefully he's all right. Love to see him get back in the game. Best wishes to Wings of Redemption. He's not a pedophile, y'all. Stop saying that.

Plenty of stuff you can make fun of without making up criminal offenses that are despised by all who live about the man. And yeah, let us know. The not-so-vocal majority, I think, if you'd like more Wings talk in the future. When something else happens

like this, I'm not talking about a weekly segment. Next week, we probably won't talk about Wings. Unless something crazy happens. Next week, we probably won't talk about Wings. Unless something crazy happens. Next week, we probably won't talk about Ice. Unless this girl that he's doing a 12-hour livestream with living in a doghouse in his backyard does something crazy.

Right? P.K. 387.