Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #395

Episode Date: July 21, 2018

On this week's PKA, no guest but that's okay because the guys go through Jackie's dirty book stories and also dive down the rabbit hole that is WingsOfRedemption wanting to buy a brand new Ford Raptor, all this and more on PKA.

Pin Killer already, episode 395. Our guest was forced to reschedule. Kyle? Couple sponsors tonight. Casper, GetQuip, Rocket League, and Audible. There it is. Hey, so before the show we picked out our first topic. I think it's a banger. I don't even know if I used that right. Are you guys ready? Yeah. Ready, set, play. Both agree. Ready, set, play. Both agree.

So I propose this. The city allows for licensed masseurs to give genital massages if the masseur and the client both agree to it. We let someone get naked and have every other part of their body touched and rubbed by a massage therapist. Hell, we let proctologists spend their day fingering men and sticking things up their anus so if someone wants to yank a guy's crank i say let him picture this a dude in the back would getting him off with your hand actually be that much worse than giving him a lady doesn't seem to care getting up in there under the folds of fat, or being the proctologist, sticking your finger up his ass.

And that brings me to my last point. This is about a group of people imposing their morality on the rest of society. If a grown adult wants a handjob, and another grown adult is willing to get one for money, then let them. That's both freedom and capitalism, and that's the foundation of our country. If you have a problem with a genital massage,

then don't get one, and allow other consenting adults to do what they want. That would truly be a happy thing for us. Bravo! I like the way he awkwardly walks behind a pole and hides at the end. I like the way he's wearing shorts to the council meeting. And a button-down shirt. I like it.

Shorts and a button-down shirt. So where do we stand on this issue of licensed masseurs giving hand jobs? I mean, I don't even think we should have to make them get licensed. Like, you should just be able to give out the handjob. What kind of qualification could you possibly need? Was I qualified at age 13? 13, I wasn't. I wasn't qualified at age 11, and I kind of got that ball rolling.

No, you don't need qualification to be a handjob masseuse, a happy ending masseuse, I guess they would say. I mean, what if... I'm just thinking out loud and processing this. What if I perhaps worked on the licensing board

and held the inspections for these places and decided who was qualified and who wasn't? Oh, man. See, they would like... You would get in trouble like a couple years down the road. They they would like, you would get in trouble, like, a couple years down the road,

they'd be like, Minister of Handjobs, Matt Woodworth, found to be holding these licenses hostage in exchange for blowjobs. That's right. He was forcing them to perform oral sex, and then signing a waiver saying they're proficient in handjobs. Not only is this incredibly corrupt,

but it's also deprived countless upstanding male citizens from proper hand jobs. Kelly? That's really well done. Absolutely, John. It's a damn shame. That explains the overabundance of toothless hand job

practitioners. Woody has a fetish. Yeah, that... What is the argument that you shouldn't be able to get jerked off at a masseuse or a massage parlor? I guess the argument against prostitution in general. They just think that

some people shouldn't have that job. I don't like that. I take the opposite position. You think everyone should definitely have that job. We really need someone to argue. Where's Destiny? I feel like he would be to the left far enough that he would be against handjob practitioners. No, you've got to go around the world twice for that to be a left.

Left-leaning. No, you don't. Because you get people who are like, women should be able to jack off whoever they see fit. It's their womanly right. And then they go, no, no, no. The other side, you can't do that. You don't know you're being exploited. And they're like, I'm making a lot of money to go like this. Maybe it's the

edges of the spectrum in general, right? Because I can see guys at the right with their Christian objections. I would see the right as being way more against it because of the religious bent than the left, where they'd be like, this is degenerate for our culture. We can't just have women tugging you off after they're sensually touching you. That would be, that would seem almost natural.

But you don't want to, I've only got one massage ever, so I don't have the experience. But I know that afterward, I was so relaxed and didn't feel sore anymore that I didn't want to go home and have to jack off myself. That relaxation is why – so I've never done this. I swear I haven't. But it seems like if I were to do it, I'd want a happy beginning, right? Let's kick it off that way and then just a massage for the next hour. See, I almost I almost disagree. I was falling asleep during the massage. And I was like, I'm not going to fall asleep during this. I'm paying for this muscle soreness to go away.

And it feels nice. If I fall asleep, I'm going to wake up in, you know, an hour and be like, all right, now you owe me X, Y, Z. And it's like, oh, fuck. I just took a really expensive nap. Whereas at the, if they jacked me up in the beginning, I'm for sure falling asleep at the end though. You get a nice, relaxing drive home. You know,

you're, you're loose, loosey goosey. I can see an argument for both. I really can. I just, you should get the massage at your house though. You should,

you should get one of those ladies who comes over with a big folding table and sets it up in your living room. And then you don't have as far to go. You can have the auto blow right there. Oh, that's a good call. I don't want her using the auto blow on me. No, I think he's suggesting you get a regular massage and then you finish on your own. Oh, no, no.

Oh, no. She will be coerced into using the auto blow on me. I don't know what I was thinking. My apologies. Oh, that'll mesh well with the jungle soundtrack that she's playing to try and relax you, like the trickling of waterfalls and the faint. You know, I don't think they put monkey screeches in those kind of sounds.

I'm going to play you something. This is called... It's like Pokemon. The monkey sound is like a rare sound within the soundtrack so at 3 a.m you just bolt up i don't want to be just finishing up your nice relaxing massage and she's like oh you like a happy ending and i'm like yeah sure and she goes all right one sec i plug in have you have extension cord like yeah i guess give me a sec and then you come over lay back down already a little frazzled and then you just have to lay there and pretend you don't hear the

you know it would ruin it that would take me all out of it uh that's that's my fetish that's exactly what i want i'm glad you went with the the korean barely speak spaghetti english uh masseuse um that is not the one I would have went with. You need to use your auto blow often enough that you have a Pavlonian response to how sexy that is. Right. Go past the construction site. It's just it's just lights out. This game over.

I hear all the machinery. You can't get like two into an auto blow or something like that. That's like those people who get way too into the crazy side of porn because then like they find a real woman they want to fuck and they're like trying to inject all their crazy shit in there and the real woman's like whoa i met you three days ago or whatever you know we i'm not ready for this but you're like oh i need you to like really put on this bib and put this binky in your mouth and then spank me and uh and what was that thing medic or uh poopy diaper lovers or uh furry diaper lovers whatever like you can't introduce that stuff into your into your obsessive porn watching because then you won't be able to get off to just

regular vagoo vagoo vagoo well it sounds like it's both spaghetti sauce and a private part. It's a delicious appetizer. It's a white sauce. Oh, time process to the gruel reference. Got it, got it. Well, this has started off tactful. Welcome to the show. Painkiller already.

Yeah, I think everyone from all aisles should come together and say let's get prostitution legal you know let the money to be made and the sex to be had i think women against it more than men you think so oh yeah i think a lot of women might see that as like a uh almost like a threat of like oh my husband just stormed out angrily during the middle of an argument oh i hope he's not going to that uh you know josie's jackoff palace down the road that's interesting there's almost a whole like female economics thing going on there i i find this topic interesting right so? So back in the day, before my day, and I don't even know if it's true because I wasn't there, but like in the 50s, I think it

was easy for women to get men to marry them because that's how you got laid, right? This is a thing. I think premarital sex was a question mark at the time in the 50s. It was definitely much, even though it's like not all black and white compared to today, it was definitely much harder to get laid casually in the 50s, I would assume. I would think so. That's what they say, right? And then somewhere in the 60s and 70s, a sexual revolution happened, and then premarital sex was more easy to come by, but there wasn't Tinder either. It's certainly not in the 90s or 2000s.

Now, I feel like women have a harder time roping men into marriage when there's so many fish in the sea and you know the internet connects you left and right and if we have just not a fair deal and uh and all those other reasons yeah yeah marriage is definitely going to become less and less uh popular and i think the supply and demand issue is a big part of it, right? It has to be. I agree with you 100%. The commodity they're offering has lowered in price. That's what I'm saying. I think the farther back you go, the more

valuable it is, right? I feel like for some medieval rock layer, he's not getting any pussy ever. It's never happened. Unless he agrees to feed her for the rest of his life. That's the deal. I'll let you fuck me, but I'm going to be sitting here at home

raising the kids. And he's certainly not getting a cutie. He's going to get some, like, tavern wench. I don't think he could aim that high. No? I'm thinking of a pretty homely tavern wench. I would say that, you know,

for as long as time was, it's been half boys and half girls. of a pretty homely tavern I would say that you know a stable girl for as long as time was it's been half boys and half girls so the pickings can't be that slim you know not everyone's rich unless you're going in this harem situation well I think

yes exactly that that's exactly where we're going I feel like if you go back that far enough then the rich guys just have a lot of girls that they're looking after and have like, you know, in castles and stuff, Rapunzel style, just sitting on ice. I hear you, but that's a very few, right? I think that by and large, I don't know. But I think that by and large, if you stay in like, you know,

Western society, it's been one guy, one girl. So they've been pairing themselves up according to what they have to offer for ages. For the most part, yeah, definitely. But I bet there would be – that would be a really interesting thing for a political issue to see who rallied on which side. Because I feel like prostitution is one where you're going to get a very weird mix of bedfellows. Like hyper-feminists who are like, you don't even know what you're doing.

Men are so smart. They're manipulating you into doing that. You think you want to do it, but you can't. And the people on the hard right are like, hell yeah, sister. It is immoral, and there's no reason women should be put through that. And they're like, yeah.

Yeah. I guess. And then you'd see like other that would be an interesting one oh and i guarantee you what happens in abortion would happen here too where like you get these congressmen who are absolutely against it until they're horny at which time they're for it right what's the cliche i've been in favor of prostitution for years check the record everybody hates abortion until their mistress gets pregnant. Right? There it is.

But yet, it would change the whole economics of the value of sex. It gets cheaper and cheaper. It'd get cheaper still if it cost $35. Oh, man. $35? I don't want to be a member of a market with the kind of ruffians that can pay $35 to fuck the woman that I just fucked.

I need there to be a little bit of a price barrier just so I feel kind of comfortable. These are handjobs. Well, we've moved on from handjobs. Nobody's paying for handjobs. Yeah, full-blown stuff. Like, when you walk out, when you leave the sex palace and you just got laid, and you walk out next to the line of people incoming, you don't want to see that line of disgusting men because you know that line was there before you. And it was the same $35 fucking fuckers who were fucking that woman you did, right?

Like you would much rather be higher level, like $200. I've done that in rent at all i paid you know a thousand dollars back when that was a lot for renting just so that i was surrounded by other people who paid a thousand dollars yeah yeah the that price floor i guess not price ceiling price floor really helps kind of weed out the riffraff. Your eyebrows are telling me you disagree. Oh, no. I'm just wondering if when I hear riffraff and the wrong type of people,

I'm just wondering what's really being said. Ah. Dirty, poor people. I should have clarified. I see. Okay, okay. Yeah, I guess that makes sense. But I don't want to...

I think if you're going to an actual whorehouse, that's not ideal, right? I don't think I'd want to go to the actual whorehouse. You want a call girl. Yeah, yeah. You definitely want her to come to you, I think. Go ahead, sorry.

You want to be separated from whatever... What if she shows up with, like, you know, whatever, high-priced escort, magnet on the car door, you know, as advertising, and pulls into your driveway? Like, I don't know, an Avon salesman, or...

You come, and I go. A roofer? Yeah. You call, we come. Seems like they should be a bit more discreet with their advertising, is what it sounds like. You don't sound like a capitalist to me. I wouldn't appreciate that very much

if they had the giant magnet or on call sign on there, like a taxi or something like that. It's just a van with six girls in the back and they'll be there in an hour to pick her up. That would be awesome. I don't know how popular this is, like how much of a real thing i know it's a real thing i know it's probably not very common like the nude maid services where it's like hey pay me and then i'll show up and

clean your place and i'll do it naked is that just a way for like prostitutes to not be known as prostitutes or is that like like are there actually guys sitting there like eating a bowl of cereal like oh you're gonna want to get under uh yeah pull my stovetop out and clean that yeah yeah thank you like yeah get the degreaser oh it's in there good i don't know the answer do you know the answer to that yeah it's both there are both there are definitely girls who will come over and do any number of tasks naked um they're usually just kind of hard up on the like hard times looking for a little cash a little spending money and uh you know they'll they'll dust and clean and do windows and whatever you need done but there's also prostitutes who are like oh i'm here to do you

want me to wash the back porch too do i need to do i the windows? Do I need to clean the kitchen? And these are of course code words for sexual acts. Ah. How disappointed I'd be if an actual prostitute showed up. I'm like, what? You suck at windows? You can't vacuum? You don't even bring your own vacuum?

Oh, she brings her own vacuum. Or if like she asked for something and you thought it was prostitute lingo, but it just turned out you got a subpar result. She's like, do you want me to snake your drain? You're like, oh, no, no, no. No, no, no. No thanks.

And then she's like, my tub's still clogging up. Yeah, you told me not to snake your drain. It's like, well, don't say it like that, you dumb whore, who I now know you are a whore. Kind of angry about dumb whore, who I now know you are a whore. Yeah. Kind of angry about the whore. Well, I paid to get my drain snaked. You told her not to.

And now I'm standing in tepid water in my bathtub as I shower. Okay, fair enough. Yeah, some of those girls are just doing outcalls as a naked maid. I think that would be the way to go, though. What if you hired her to be the maid, but she didn't do a very good job, and it was just naked subpar cleaning? Would that be acceptable? The worst of both worlds. No, she's hot.

Is there a Seinfeld episode about that? Yeah, there is. She stops cleaning, and so she'll just have sex with him, get dressed, take the money off of the nightstand or whatever, and just be like, goodbye. And he's like, what did I just pay for? The whole house is a mess.

I think that's the one where maybe a pimp gets involved. That might be the one where Kramer becomes a pimp with a hat and a cane and everything. His career is still over. He's got money for days. He's fine.

Does he? Oh, yeah, dude. All those guys from Seinfeld, like the main four, they are loaded. Are they? I didn't know that. I thought that only Seinfeld had a great deal. Luis Dreyfus, Elaine she comes from like a billionaire family I've heard that

not to say she hasn't been successful on her own being funny on Seinfeld but Kramer and George the more normal ones they're rolling in it, they've got so much money because it's syndicated and it plays 10 times a day on 10 different channels okay all those DVDs

yeah I see Jason Alexander at a lot of um like celebrity poker things like donating vast sums of money so he seems to be doing fine okay i think i think kramer's career was already over that's that's part of why he had the breakdown i think things had not been going well for him for a while he had this stupid show maybe nbc where he was like a private detective and he was like smoking a pipe like uh like sherlock holmes or something and it was super lame it was super did he play kramer in it basically like no he played this detective it was it was no fun okay no one could be but he had some range i mean i guess not i've only ever seen him as Kramer. Oh, okay. Yeah. I was just wondering, like, if he blasts through the door

as a Sherlock Holmes detective, I'm like, come on! You know? This is stupid. He's just stealing... He's stealing Watson's snacks out of his fridge. Let's do the whole show again. I don't have time for shopping. I gotta think!

Oh, man. I don't have time for shopping. I gotta think. I can't get over his antics in Seinfeld. I've seen every episode of that show half a dozen times and still every time he goes in that bar with the mole hair sweater and he's trying to be the sneaky guy with his cigarette

and he's smoking the cigarette and then drinks his whole beer with it in there and then he takes the cigarette out and like burps up some smoke and somehow the guy opposite him keeps a straight face like i can't not laugh yeah he's smoking and drinking simultaneously somehow he keeps the cigarette going in the beer seemingly yeah that's great. Yeah, it is great. What is the Patreon level where they get to ask questions? Is it $10? Do we know? These aren't things I remember.

Link in the description. You can go read the benefits. But anyway, there are people who, I think it is 10, who ask us questions and impact the show. If the Purge was real, how would you survive the 24 hours? This is what I don't get about The Purge thing, is all crime and everything is legal during The Purge, and people are only out there murdering. Why aren't people planning elaborate bank heists

or things that are going to really help you for the rest of the year? That seems like the thing to be on, is you go, hey, neighbors, I'm just doing a little canvassing prior to the purge. You know how, you remember Aunt Wilma or whoever,

the mother of the whole neighborhood who died last year when she was murdered in the purge? Let's avoid that whole thing. We're going to prepare for the next purge, which comes in nine months, and we're going to all rob a bank together. Or maybe we'll all rob three banks in coordination. Have you seen the movies?

I saw one of them. I'm doing a lot of inference here. I've seen them all and I believe that only murder is legal. I don't even think rape is legal. Come on! How did you get that? They say it over the announcer and everyone. All crime will be legal for the next 24 hours. Yeah, it's all crime. You can rape, murder, pillage, rob a bank. Yeah, it's all crime. You can rape. I could be wrong.

Pillage. Robbing a bank. Oh, robbing a bank would be hard, actually, because they'd hire Blackwater to protect their bank on the purge day. And if you just got even 100 yards, they'd shoot. Yeah, I don't know. Now this idea I came up with on the fly doesn't seem like I put any thought into it. Oh, wait, wait.

All crime is legal except the murder of politicians emergency services are unavailable oh well shucks i all crime all crime that's the best part you know you go out there and have a good time it doesn't make any sense whatsoever the new purge is uh has been turned into like a black exploitation movie like it's all black people and um and and their little spin on the purge is i think it's the first purge but the their idea is that like the government is sending in like uh special forces to wipe out the black people and then and do it under the the guise of just uh purge violence or something like that so it looks really shitty it's real

shit i've seen them my the purge was the first horror movie that my daughter saw. I guess that's whatever. We cracked that nut with that one. And now we go and see them all together. It's become a Purge tradition. I didn't know it would last so long. Stuff like Purge, I mean, I've only seen the first one. I could see it really going downhill after that.

But the concept is so interesting. It seems like it's carried by. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. I want to say The Purge was like a 3.5 out of 10, and it's managed to hold steady. According to me. It's managed to stay

at the bottom rung of acceptability for five movies now. Like an airplane movie. What would you guys actually do to survive? Because that was this gentleman's question. I think you nailed it, right? Go rob a bank like forget surviving go go rob a bank go rob something you know some jewels maybe i don't know can you sell stolen property that you obtained during the purge like because or do i have to find a buyer tonight like that's that's gonna be a we better

take my diamonds or i'll i'm coming here next purge I think this house has me fucked I either need to do something to like bulletproof the whole damn thing and flame proof and whatever else it takes or leave right like have you ever seen my videos where I land at my house there's like a giant suburb of regular homes and a giant suburb of regular homes one to my north one to my south and then then there's my home like on the hill asking to be purged like who are the assholes that you'd be purged so hard yeah they may be like you know what those fucks they like you people would have liked me if you ever came for trick-or-treat we bought full-size candy bars all the time but but but here we got got full size candy bar money Get him We bought full size candy bar

We did We were like It's a long walk up this driveway We're going to hook up anyone who comes Three years in a row Two years in a row no one came Third year in a row no one came But we didn't even buy candy anymore

We caught on to the pattern Yeah No one's coming And then I suggested on the show that we ferry people back and forth with the tractor or the golf cart or something and everyone's like, no, Woody, that's a little pedo. You know, to load them up in your car

and take them... Don't go down that way. That's old man Woodward's house. He threatened to murder the dog of his own neighbor. I was about to go there. That's exactly where I was about to go there That's exactly where I was about to go Daddy isn't that the man that threatened sparkles Yes it was We had to put sparkles down

Just wait till May 10th sweetie Yeah so I think I'd have to go somewhere safer Yeah If you're hiding you definitely do Yeah We're remote right So I think I'd have to go somewhere safer. Yeah, definitely so. If you're hiding, you definitely do. Yeah. We're remote, right?

Like, you just want to get away from people. You don't want to be singled out, certainly. But you also don't want to get, like, taken by the random mob. So you got to be, like, maybe in a cabin somewhere. Cabin? I like that. In a random mob. Because at any point, some guy in the mob could be like, nah, and just start blowing people's heads off, right?

What if it was one of the motels I typically stay in? I'd never be confused with somebody purge-worthy. They're just purging at random a lot of the times, it seems. They might just purge you. I mean, there's someone coming to purge you. Yeah, I would

be hard-p pressed and think otherwise it's hard to beat the cabin idea is at risk of being purged like the cabin idea is good like something remote or just sequestering yourself off into like one room with supplies for 24 hours and a gun and just anyone who even gets close to the door or the entrance you shoot them you just have your netflix open on your laptop lord of the rings marathon lord of the rings marathon you can watch them almost the whole way through yeah almost the whole way through it's 12 hours can't you watch them all in 12 hours oh yeah i know i've extended also i guess so so. Yeah, extend it to nine hours. A little over nine, probably, altogether.

Yeah, just sequester yourself off in a room, back to a brick wall or something, and wait. I think that's the actual smart way to do it. As long as you're not in some really heavily populated area, I would not do well where I'm located. I can't imagine how bad the purge would be around here. Or really, just any metropolitan area bad the purge would be around here. Yeah, just any metropolitan area, the purge would be terrible.

What's your plan, Kyle? Where are you going? I think if it's purge time, I'm going to want to flamethrower, right? To really keep the masses back from the vehicle. You're going to defend your home with a flamethrower? Yes. I see a flaw in that plan to defend your home with a flamethrower? Yes.

I see a flaw in that plan. Does your home have any wood in it? It's nothing but wood. It's a cabin. It's very sappy as well. It's hot. It's the summertime. We made it a match six.

I hope it works out. I hope that at least one of us goes on the offense. Right? We're out there purging I like Taylor's idea of trying to get rich Yeah, I like the getting rich idea I just don't You're clearly the one to do this You're the one to fly on top of the bank

Lower yourself down in Mission Impossible's Tom Cruise And fly away With old school bags of money With dollar signs on I'm like, is Taylor obviously the one to do this because he's the youngest? Or me, because I have the least amount of time left. That's fair. And you have a flying machine, which none of the rest of us have.

It's the most worthless flying machine. It's a special event to actually do anything with it. Well, you're that guy. You know how it would actually devolve? It's like fucking like Yankee fans would be like, we're going to go kill the entire Red Sox roster. Let's go boys!

And then they charge into Boston and a lot of sports fandoms trying to murder because apparently politicians are the only ones off the table, right? You know what show I hate hate that one hosted by this guy i know where he lives now boom i'm gonna go kill that like you just described like british hooligans right yeah but every day yep yeah that would be man to actually answer the question it's got to be the cabin thing i i maybe a maybe not a cabin maybe a bunker right even a hidden sort of underground thing little container off in the woods that people don't know about so

much and uh just wait it out that'd be the way to go the u.s being such a large country should storm the beach on trying the purge i think we should like give some foreign aid or something and incentivize a different country to try it. See how it goes. This is a Chad Senegal kind of thing. Yeah, give like Somalia... They'd be like, so there are no laws again the next day?

We just behave as a normal. Yeah, well, I mean, like, Somalia, not a lot of laws. You'd have to pick somewhere higher safety than that to get a good feel. But still a small country, like Finland or Sweden or one of those. Like, there's not that many people, so it couldn't get too out of hand. Let's do an island.

I'm thinking, like, Jamaica. Do we need Hawaii? Honestly, no. I've been saying that for a long time. I'm not a fan of the hawaiians their people their culture i don't like that they what if you just killed the native hawaiians and kept all the tourists that's racist you have to murder anyone no hawaiians i guess you're right but i wasn't really thinking along terms of race because the hawaiians i watch on youtube are white yeah

yeah when i say native hawaiians i mean anyone who was born in hawaii anyone who acts hawaiian yes absolutely anyone who acts hawaiian yeah all of those people get purged right away maybe that's what i do during the purge i go to hawaii and clean shop it's just a real those those are just real scummy people island trash where do they rank next to ireland just under it i guess technically you could also call ireland island trash right they don't even have their whole island the island's big enough aren't we all i don't know australia just keep going australia's enormous though they they're they're already in their own hell right like with the bugs and the snakes and all those venomous creatures, the jellyfish.

Australia's a real shithole. Like, I wouldn't... It's a real shithole. If you look at Australia, like a map of the population, though, like, it's the teeniest little sliver of, like, where everybody is. And then there's, like, another couple little specklings in, you know, everywhere else. And that's it. Three quarters of that, there's no one.

Actually, way more than three quarters. More than that. It's like, look over here. We found a place we can survive. It's just this tiny little area where the people are. And the rest of it's this vast Mad Max desert. And it's just uninhabitable. And it's all filled with these gigantic, terrifying snakes and spiders.

We used to have... The first sysadmin at Woodycraft was Australian. And he, I don't mean to throw him under the bus, he was tremendously talented. I was lucky to have him. Except he only worked if you stayed on the phone with him, which was a pain in the ass because he used the Australian time zone. So I'd be up to like 5 or 6 a.m. all the time. And you're sitting there

just like, you know, talking to him, having him work while you just like actively managed him. And then if he didn't reply, we had this running joke that he was turned on by kangaroo mating sounds. But what you might not know is kangaroo mating sounds sound like this. But what you might not know is kangaroo mating sounds sound like this. So we would make that sound whenever we needed to get its attention. And it worked without flaw. I'll never forget you, Zero. You're hilarious.

Never forget you, Zero. Yeah. See, I'm coming around the Australia idea because that's where they used to send all the crims back in the day. know and so they're descended from well because it was like the british empire doing it and they call them crims or like no good nicks or hooligans right i made all i don't know sounds right that's what and so they send them all there and now they're all descended from criminals and so they would take to it much more aptly i think that what do british people actually call low lives is it chads no that's the thing uh chav that is what i'm going with yeah what are you gonna say kyle i'm thinking of i was gonna think you're thinking of chabs okay yeah

i was close i don't know if chabs is low or chabs is class, but it's like urban low class. Yeah, it's like white trash. Like J-Rock from Trailer Park Boys. He's a Chav. One time there was a hater on YouTube making videos about me, and I didn't know him or whatever. And they're like, Woody, call him a Chav, call him a Chav. Which is like I didn't, there was a new term to me.

So I did, and it was effective it hurt his feelings wow i didn't know it was actually a hurtful thing yeah yeah i don't think you want to be a chav i guess maybe i didn't know it was hurtful i just thought it was insulting and it's like oh two peas in a pot i guess yeah i in my head i suspect it's a little like redneck where some people would be offended if you called them that and other people i suspect it's a little like redneck where some people would be offended if you called them that and other people would wear it like a badge of pride yeah the kind of people who don't mind being called redneck are the same people who have that calvin peeing on different things on the back always like it'll be like so they're on the list yeah they are on the list i don't know where they're patriots

it'll be like fucking uh that calvin peeing on the ford logo and it'll be like i'm a chevy man it's like all right settle down you had to you had to let people know that you don't you don't just choose chevy as a consumer in the free market. You piss on Ford. I piss on Ford. F-150. Ugh! Gross! Ugh!

Puh! I piss on your choice in automobile. It's funny you mentioned Ford trucks. I saw that Wings was catching a little bit of flack because I guess he's been talking about a ford raptor a lot lately those are the really expensive ones right yeah yeah yeah yeah is he talking about one or just saying oh man you know of course i think they thought that he was speaking like he was going to get one and then he quickly like was like oh no no no that money's for like like my education and my housing and stuff ah okay okay you sure because you're talking about that raptor a lot

he needs a raptor he's gonna look so sick in a raptor oh kyle is trying to coax him into a terrible financial decision dude have you seen the zero to 60 speed on that raptor it's incredible it is good but he needs to wait because next on that raptor it's incredible it is good special engine wait because next year's raptor is the one you want oh no but that just means he'll get more savings if he strikes now there's never a better time to buy an $80,000 race truck? You're probably right. It won't be better next year. Technically, it's true.

If you showed up at a farm trying to help, and they're like, yeah, this is my raptor. They'd be like, fuck you talking about? It's like, well, I can help herd those cows fast. And ruin all of your grass and everything. I looked at the Raptors. They didn't have the features I wanted. It's fast and it has a different stance.

There's a cool look to it. I get that. But it didn't tow as well and it didn't have some of the luxury stuff. My truck ignorance is well known. What is the actual point of the Raptor? Just like a fun, have fun car yeah it's it would i guess you could call it a full-sized baja truck you know and uh compared to a real baja truck it's pretty limited it's you know it comes stock but it's slightly wider and the wheel travel is a

little higher like it travels more so you can like hit those whoops out in the desert and um it has a more powerful motor so it's fast and it can handle bumps and it's people have fun with it so it seems like a hobby truck like i love this kind of it tows less right it's suspension being like flexible makes it not a good candidate for a heavy load in the back or a heavy trailer and um it's a fun truck i uh i have a video here of one jumping a small bump i know this video i love this video have you seen this taylor i have not i'm classics uh it's ford raptor jumps 90 feet. Yeah. Ready, set, play. I'm going fast. It's a Raptor.

It can do anything. You hear that random person? There goes the airbag. How would you do this? Front tire. Flat. Look how fucked up Truck is. Look how fucked up Truck is.

He's fine, look at all those airbags. Yeah, yeah, exactly. He's fine. But the truck. Buy a go-kart, you fool. What did he think was going to happen? The bed's all warped? He's a little shaken up. Shooken up? Shaken up?

He must have been the first guy to go on that ramp of the day, or with a raptor. Because that's insane. He's like 30 feet in the air. Here comes the slow-mo. It's so high! It's so high It landed pretty well

Like it almost landed flat It did I mean I guess he did as well as You could expect him to do but That's not what that truck's made for that's hilarious That's an expensive truck too That was a real expensive mistake he just made there.

And apparently, the demand is so high, you can, like, if you get it at MSRP, you've done a good job. Yeah. That makes sense. His tailgate got torn off. Yeah, it broke there. I think the whole bed got warped or something, but yeah, the tailgate where the bolts go

in the side, those were broken off. Yeah, that that was awesome that was a hell of a wreck he had yeah now he's famous we're right there with that poor arizona female soccer player who pulled the girl's ponytail he'll live down in internet infamy i haven't seen that i don't even know of that what oh my god i don't know about someone Give the story An Australian soccer player Holding on a girl's pigtail I said Arizona Oh Arizona I got Australia on the head

BYU soccer hair pull Here it is A link incoming I can't believe you guys haven't seen this There is a link incoming. I can't believe you guys haven't seen this. I'm queued at zero. I'm ready. Ready, set, play.

Nice Mormon girls just trying to play to the best of their ability for the glory of God. That's right. And they score. Do all things to Christ who strengthens me. Here's number 15. That's our hero. Jesus. Oh, hang in there.

Skip for for spine punch Here's the hair pull That's hilarious I watch soccer if it was more like that. Right? I feel bad for her. Were you going to say something, Kyle? She yanked it again. She yanked it again. Took her to the ground. Oh, does it keep going? I'm sorry. I paused it when the soccer analyst came on. It just shows the slow motion.

Yeah, you can... Okay. Okay. Here's the scoop. I feel bad for the aggressor here because, yeah, like this thing has had maybe a billion views altogether. It is on my Facebook feed every week. And every week there's a new batch of people getting exposed to it. This was a long time ago.

This was re-uploaded in 2012 i don't know when the game happened oh nine something like that like this is like 10 years ago and it's it's on my facebook feed today that's why it was fresh in my mind and this they just keep playing it and playing it and playing and everyone that sees it is like oh my gosh that elizabeth lamberts is a horrible person i can't believe that you're like has she been locked up let's put her in jail and like they go nuts with it now she shouldn't go to jail if you watch it uh she was playing rough she was but i happen to know 2500 minutes of playing time in arizona and she had two yellow cards no reds her whole career like that those that highlight doesn't accurately represent the player that she was the whole time

on top of that if you watch like it was she just kind of overreacted to little provocations all the time so stuff like a slide tackle on a ball that's soccer right that happens um where she pulled the girl's hair the victim victim pulled her shorts and fucked with her, and then she overreacted and pulled the hair. Not saying that she's not the aggressor. She overreacted. But she got thrown off the team for a year, and she was a scholarship player,

and she's just famous for this. We're talking about it right now. I'm sure she's fine. No, she was being rough the whole time. famous for this we're talking about it right now i i'm sure she's fine no she should have she was being rough the whole time the whole time it like these kids she's like jerked her hair so hard she jerked it so hard so hard and she also like when she was falling down with that other girl in white like you can see the girl in white's arm was like going out and she tried to like grab that arm and like tug it to the ground as she was falling, almost like trying to break it over

her body or something. Between my ears, that hair pull was the birth of a new kink, and no one was harmed. The birth of a new kink. For you or for her? Maybe a little of both. I don't know. I'm not coming down on the side

of this player. She seems to not be able to regulate her emotions on the field very well. And that's really not fair to all those lovely Mormon gals who are just trying to play. And then she comes around like a philistine pulling their pigtails, their everything. Like a dirty son of ham she's the exactly aggressor here look so it's on my screen right now you don't see it but you know byu chick elbows are between the boobs and then gets a spine punch in return like overreacting but i don't know this the spine punch was probably the least offensive of those things

grabbing the shorts you can see there wasn't there wasn't a lot of well it was not a hair pull it would be like the equivalent of like to make it equal that hair pull she wouldn't have had to tug on the pants she would have had to like pull her pants down pull her panties down and then forcibly spread her ass to the crowd and force everyone to see like you getting this like as if espn's watching a byu arizona women's soccer game well apparently i guess they're watching it now yeah now they are she finally got some attention oh Ooh, that was a good punch to the face right there. Some of these are harder to defend, but... Oh, look at that.

But my mind is made up. I just feel like she got so famous for these dirty plays. I mean, it's just unfortunate because the way you're describing it, I didn't even know this existed until right now. Like, it is the worst part of her soccer career being put on blast when apparently she was pretty fair other than that. Like, what the hell happened before this game? Did her boyfriend break up with her? Did her mom die?

She explained it. I was reading about it recently. And I guess if it wasn't the playoffs, it was like the games before the playoffs. One of those two where if they lost, their season was over. And they were behind by one. And in her head, like her whole life and self-worth and everything is riding on her team's ability to win this game. And the girls were, like I said, not saying that she gave what she got. But they're yanking on her and being a little unfair, and she's taking the bait and being wildly unfair.

That's how it went down. Seems like a real bad apple to me. No good, Nick. What if it was a guy? Would you view it any differently? It'd be worse because like i don't think that girl you know she doesn't like she's strong enough to hurt anyone not really but like i feel like a guy if a guy was putting as much effort into hurting an opponent as she is putting

into he'd be unconscious or something it'd be like a throat slap or something that that added not like the the hair grabbing and it seemed like in every one of her tackles the goal was as much to like take the other person down and hurt them as it was to gain possession of the ball. She seems like she's being an asshole. I mean, those girls that she was antagonizing didn't seem to flop the way the men's soccer players will flop. So, you know...

To be fair, I think the girl who got her ponytail yanked she flopped big time i mean it was a good yank but it didn't throw her she was right to be oh i wouldn't be surprised if she just kind of threw herself back a little bit it was the extra couple seconds of laying their head in the the grass probably part of her going what the fuck just happened and the other part being like i gotta other part being like, I gotta ham this up. Yep. I gotta Mia ham this up. What a terrible pun. That's awful.

I know. Remember those commercials in the early 2000s? Yeah, flag on the plate. I'm out. Two minutes in the sin bin for that pun. Did you guys see that Brazilian player in the World Cup? Ne-M.

Like clips of him flopping? Oh, dude, not only have I seen – it's N-E-Y-H-A-M. I've learned everything. N-E-Y-M-A-R. Oh, Ne-Mar. Yes, thank you. Yeah, so not only did I see him, I saw a video where like 27 Little League soccer kids practiced their knee mars.

They'd all run together in like a horizontal line, like the opposite of single file, whatever you call it. And then trip on cue and roll around and hold their ankles in agony. So it's like literally Mighty Ducks. They're like, what do you do? Take the fall! Back to Earth! Get indignant! That's what you're gonna do! You can't beat Team Iceland because apparently their team

is 18 and under and we're 13 and under and we're playing in the same league. Those goddamn Icelandic numbers. Are we ready? This Neymar video is entertaining. Ready, set, play play i'll kill the music oh god now the mexican guy uh didn't do anything at all i can't tell where he's injured is it his ankle or his ear his ankle his head his ear look at at him flop around. He's using his bad ankle to push up on the ground to get a better flop.

What a terrible sport. See, I've come around on the whole shit on soccer as much thing. It's not my sport of choice, but I can see how if you could avoid this kind of shit it would be more entertaining like this and this is not the only guy who's been flopping like this is a very regular thing in soccer i think a lot of soccer fans don't like first of all a lot of soccer fans will come out and say like yeah that part of the sport's terrible but then other ones i think will be like oh it's not that bad because their only point of perspective is watching soccer whereas like if you watch i don't know how the NBA does it.

You know, if you flop in the NBA, I'm sure they call embellishment or something like that. They'll do the same thing in the NFL and the NHL. And so it's like it's just frustrating that a whole tens of hundreds of thousands of people are all there. And if it's your team, you have to be like, oh, man, really? And it's like we all know he's lying. We all know this. Everyone in the stadium knows he's lying. But you have to go through this little song and dance.

I don't know the exact. I'm sure they could tell me why it's a strategy to do that. But whatever makes that a strategy, they need to remove that from the game, if possible, because it ruins the fun. It's a terrible sport. Just a terrible sport. Isn't it funny? You could say the most outrageous things.

Kyle could go on just a genuine hateful rant against anyone right now, and you won't see a single comment about that. They will be drowned out by the soccer hate. People are like, Kyle doesn't get soccer. Just a dumb American.

There's going to be so much of that. 14 seconds in the next video. It's so bad. What's the 14 seconds? Are you guys ready? Yeah. Ready, set, play. Kiela, I'm a bit......... ...

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

...... Soccer player gets touched in the ear by another. And I literally mean he's touched. He's touched. The guy has a Harry Potter torture curse on him. Oh, that's great. Come on. That's your sport. Yeah. And someone's going to say that hockey has flopping or that basketball has flopping.

And I agree. I don't like it when it happens in those and in basketball they don't rival soccer really like they don't ride around in pain like that but it is an issue i think in that sport um but man yeah i don't know i've been the very least they need to find a way to punish it more harshly i followed the world cup a little bit this time around and it appears that me pulling for a team is the absolute kiss of death. I was pulling for Mexico because I liked all their fans and they lost the game where I started rooting for them.

It was against Switzerland or something early on. And, but they managed to get in because Japan won or Korea won. Korea beat somebody. And then they got knocked out and I switched over to someone and then they got knocked out and I switched over to England And then they got knocked out, and I switched over to someone, and then they got knocked out,

and I switched over to England, and then they got knocked out. So if you want anyone to lose, it's a thing I can do. It wasn't until after the World Cup started that I was like, I guess I'll just pull for the USA. And I was like, oh, I guess we're not even in it.

I've got to pick somebody else. And so I've been totally indifferent. Now, I would like Croatia to win. Because they seem like the ultimate underdog. Yeah. Like, nobody expected them to... By the way, have you ever seen a map of Croatia? There was like a meme going viral on Twitter a few days ago.

Look up a map of Croatia and show people, Woody. And the meme is Bosnians. Can we go swimming in Croatiaatia no croatia owns 100 percent no of bosnia's uh coastline in this weird like chile shaped like carved arc like they they stole i didn't probably i don't know if they i don't know the history of fucking croatia and bosnia but they probably took it, probably stole it. They own, it's like 95% of it. There is a little spot.

They gave them one outlet there. Yeah, that's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. I like the concept. I just wish we'd all play a different game, right? Like the World Cup thing with soccer. I wish there was a World Cup for something else. I would rather watch darts.

You'd rather watch darts? Man, I'd rather watch soccer than darts any day of the week. I like playing darts more than soccer. I have a dart board, but I would not watch someone else play darts. Every country gets their best man and their best woman, and they play like doubles darts. Every country. My favorite part about darts, I read this and I hope it's actually true,

is that they compete when they're a little drunk because all their practice is when they're a little drunk, and you practice like you perform. I totally believe that. Have you seen the physique of a professional dart player? No. What would be funny is asking a professional dart player? No. What would be funny is asking a professional dart player to throw a baseball

because they've trained themselves to push it where you want it to go. Darts is a lot of fun. Do you guys play that often? Ever? Never? Yeah. Whenever there's a dartboard, I like to throw darts. It's fun.

I'm much better at darts than I am at pool, which is not a feat. I like pool a lot, too. I like those types of games. Not a fan of table tennis. Not any good at that. Oh, I love ping pong. No. Ping pong's a ton of fun.

That's a great party game. I'm looking at images of professional uh darts players they remind me a lot of professional bowlers i mean those i mean they probably moonlight in different sports like that oh yeah world champion bowler also second place in the world of darts also rubik's cube yeah so you got a mean mean Donkey Kong score as well. You should see this guy cup stack. Woody, did you ever watch the documentary King Kong, A Fistful of Quarters? Oh, more than once.

About the Weeby guy and the whole competition. It turned out that the guy with the long hair, you remember this guy? Bob Mitchell, Scott Mitchell records something like that yeah like like um he had he wore the american flag tie and he had like the really long he's a cheater like every one of his records has it turned out was a was it was a forgery of some kind not everyone uh he had a lot of legit records uh the pac-man one he set you sat in an audience in front of everyone. And this guy was a legit, very good gamer. But he just wasn't the best at everything, which is kind of where he portrayed himself.

And certainly in those Donkey Kong records, they were false. Some were set on an emulator, like you said. One had doctored videotapes. In the Fistful of fistful of quarters they show that like he just shows up i don't want to say mysteriously but you know like hey great score i have a videotape of me doing a better score and one it's not the whole game and two like at the point that like the score would flip there's a weird like vhs tracking error on the tape and it just looked really suspect and he got caught cheating multiple times and they erased all his records even the ones that

were obviously legit legit like performed sunday that they have competitions and what was that galaxy arcade like he had some where he beat it live they remove those records too he's banned yeah that dude yeah i'm 52 years old billy mitchell is his name yeah billy mitchell i'm on his wikipedia page right now he was such an asshole yeah he was so kind of like did you watch i haven't watched the actual documentary i did watch the video and a of them watching his documentary and them making fun of it and he is the most arrogant prick of a dude who's a major achievement is playing a game from 1984 where a you know 10 pixel man jumps over barrels like it the amount of arrogance he has dude pissing the entire 80s away i saw what the fuck get off of your high horse and get a haircut i saw a video The amount of arrogance he has for pissing the entire 80s away for that.

It's like, what the fuck? Get off of your high horse and get a haircut. I saw a video that demonstrated how editing can make people look bad, right? Like, I don't know. Taylor will tell a joke, and they'll just grab some footage of us elsewhere in the show, either looking angry or looking bored or something, and it makes your joke flop, right? And they do that. They take back and forth, especially if it's a reality series like Big Brother.

They have so much footage of everyone that they can cut back and forth and make silly things look like they happened. I don't know how you could edit Billy Mitchell. He said those things, right? Yeah. And a lot of them weren't... It wasn't like one-off clips. It was like yeah like calling a lot of them it wasn't like yeah it wasn't like

one-off clips it was like him talking for a full minute like looking solemnly into the camera like you need to be respectful of me like you you know who i am i'm billy the king kong mitchell or whatever his douchey nickname undoubtedly was i here i gonna... I can't play arcade games for more than 15 minutes if I'm provided the quarters, much less this long. I haven't pre-screened this, but it's only three minutes and it's quotes from

King of Kong. Now I thought it was... Oh, King of Kong, Fistful of Quarters. This is it. Are you guys ready? I am ready. Yep. Three, two, one, play. Oh, he looks like such a douche. He owns that restaurant. And they are. And that's fun. But competitive gaming, when you want to attach your name to a world record, when you want your name written into history, you have to pay the price.

I had somebody draw an analogy for me once that I always remember. His eyes are really far apart. In World War I, shot down 24 enemy planes. The top American pilot, you don't know his name, do you? Nobody does. But it's Eddie Rickenbacker. Shot down 26 enemy planes. The German ace, the Red Baron,

everyone knows who the Red Baron is. That's because he shot down 87 enemy planes. I mean, he was the best. There's just, there's a level of difference between people. And it translates into some games. If I have all this good fortune, if everything's rolling my way, if all these balls have bounced in my favor, there's some poor bastard out there who's getting the screws put to him.

No matter what I say, it draws controversy. It's sort of like the abortion issue. If you're for it, you're a son of a gun. If you're against it, you're a son of a gun. I'm not God. I don't have all the answers. So I have to be careful how I share my opinions. Brian Koo is there.

He knows everything to do with the tape. Oh, wow. Been there, played that shirt. Jesus. I explained to him he could lose his life, but don do with the tape. Oh, wow. Been there, played that shirt. Jesus. I explained to him he could lose his life, but don't lose the tape. Not even Helen of Troy had that much attention. All right. I think you got enough.

This guy is just the worst, right? He's the worst. That video is probably a little quiet for people, but it's not me. I had it at full volume. It's just a little quiet. He's not very likable no i think i think that's what he's going for like like like that's what he's going for he wants to be the heel he wants to be the bad boy of king kong arcade games that's exactly what you're looking at here that that is the bad boy of kong of donkey kong arcade games that's him the first time i saw it was like, this guy's such a douche.

And I know editing can make you look like a douche, but he said those things. And editing can't make you say things. They can just sort of change the way they're framed. And now I see it, and I'm like, why didn't I just know that the first time he's going for heel?

It's the target he's doing there. Duh. Yeah, I'd say so. Against who? Who's he being the heel against? The Steve Weeby guy, I guess. You know, the teacher and father of three or whatever

who's broken his record, I guess. He's trying to be the heel of that guy. Maybe only in the context of this documentary. I don't know. It's hard to say how the documentary was framed to him when they came down there. They probably told him to make it interesting, right? I don't know. If he weren't an asshole,

you would care so much less when they go back and forth breaking the records, I think. I like that documentary a lot. And it's probably because he was such an asshole. They picked the worst imaginable photo of Steve Weeby for his Wikipediaikipedia page not a great one no i could put my pinky through those front teeth yep yep but he's got a lot of whistler s's i just i got a text. So Colin does parkour. And in parkour, there are two things. There's free running and there's parkour, tricking, I don't know.

But anyway, at his gym, there's two kinds of tests, free running and I think parkour is the other one. We have been training for five months so that he could pass the parkour test, right? And skill-wise, he was kind of there. Like he's been doing it since he was like eight or something. So if you put him on a rock climbing wall or something, he would surprise you. He's just been at this for a long time. But strength and conditioning-wise, he wasn't there.

One of the ones that we've talked about before is a pull-up. He can do three pull-ups now on a good day. He can do three pull-ups. So being able to do one on his worst day he had that licked and uh you know just last week we were like going through the test like are there any gotchas here it was a lock so he shows up tonight to take the test this kid alec nice guy whatever says hey like what are you doing and colin only does free running with alec, so he says free running, which is the wrong test. And he didn't pass it.

It wasn't... He was supposed to take parkour, not free running. He got... Oh, I'm so sad. He can just go back. In October. And be like,

oh, in October? Oh, no! Wait, what? This isn't the fucking SATs. They test four times a year and like it's intentionally hard that's what i'm thinking i'm like come on that's bullshit can we work on this but like when you get the next level it's supposed to be a big deal like they make the tests hard you know he has to do a pull-up at the next level he has to do 10 pull-ups like they're not little graduations it's supposed to mean something and uh i'm just like october oh can we work around three months this is okay this is nonsense

how swamped are these people with people trying to get to the next level in parkour and free running that they're like oh i'm so sorry yeah we have a lot of employees open right now but it's reserved for october so you'll just have to wait. We're like the fucking... What do you get? What is there to signify that you have achieved this level of greatness? Like, do they put a badge on you or a

belt or something fancy? The golden boot. It's like, do you remember those jelly wristbands that were popular a couple years ago? It's that, but in different colors. And you could call it like a karate belt. Ah, just get him one of those.

Yeah, just go to like Livestrong.org if that's still up. If they ask, just say you care about prostate cancer. My wife texted, auditory processing got him again. It's so sad in that context. How cursed does this poor kid have to be? Wait, was this a misunderstanding on his part

where he told you guys it's the 12th? The instructors asked Colin which test he was taking. They were doing both tonight. And since he always does free running with Alec, I guess he didn't quite understand the question. So he said, Alec, we do free running. And he put

him in that test. Oh, you should definitely be able to go back and go, hey, Alec, he misunderstood what you're saying. Gave you the wrong answer. Of course he failed that one, but he's ready for this one. Can you make an exception? And then you slip him a cool hunted. Because to a guy who teaches parkour, $100 is like $10,000 to us.

I don't know. You could buy a whole bushel of those bracelets for $100. Oh, yeah. I will ask. The test takes, I mean, there's like 30 things on it that he has to do. But it's also common knowledge that he can do them by now. I mean, they do them all the time. I don't know.

I'll ask the head coach. Is it also a thing where it's like, oh, nope, you can't go in this section of the place. You're not level two yet. So you got to stay in the boring corner. And so is he basically missing out on like a whole new area? That exists, but he would have to go up two levels to attain a new area. There's a red tape along the wall that shows the highest that he can go. Oh, you're not even allowed in there.

Me? Well, then Woody's not training. Yeah. Oh, I walk around. I'm fine. Oh, no. Sir! I don't see you wearing your level three badge. No, it's not the area that he can't go.

It's marked on the wall, so he can't go above that line. Oh, okay. Yeah, these people are, I guess, they know how to fall and roll out and handle bars and things like that. I don't know. out and you know handle bars and things like that i don't know are there like mock benches and like trash cans and stuff for them to like practice running and like flipping on and like i don't know how to imagine i only know when parkour videos were big like 10 years ago and you'd watch it and it was just always some eastern european dancing with death there's some craziness in there the instructors are that capable but in the gym it's like that there are like plywood boxes they're painted and maybe the hard corners taken off uh it's still

wood but it just you know routered and uh i don't know different balancing things there's a rock wall for bouldering and a foam pit for practicing your flips and stuff like that. That sounds pretty cool. Yeah, there's some walls that are, I'm going to call them eight feet tall and stuff, and they jump up and just get a cat hang and then work their way up the rest of the way. Yeah, it's cool. How big are these places? I'm sorry?

Is this a pretty large facility? It'd be hard to estimate. 2,000 square feet, maybe? something like that like it's a good size there's a lot of wall yeah yeah yeah they've got it all decked out and uh it's the what's really special is that most of the coaches there treat colin great um i think he's literally their first customer and uh you know they've known him since he was eight or something like that and they create an environment where people are nice to him if they don't give him a second shot after he's been going there since he was fucking eight to the parkour place what's the normal

rollover on a customer like at the park you know they're really broken ankle and out for most moms and dads like no they gotta let him be dude that poor shit it's too early when he chopped his foot with an axe they all came over to like you know whatever stack dominoes and cup stack they came over to cheer him up because he's home alone he couldn't do parkour anymore they're really good to him but it's just a sad night because he took the wrong test and bummer yeah that sucks what is free i didn't know free running and parkour were different oh there's a couple i i'm outside of my depth here but i think parkour in a stricter sense is going from one place to another in a really efficient way.

And free running is like tricking along the way. So they might do silly things just for style. Even though that's not a great way to get there. Okay. That makes sense. This is not a hobby I would get into.

Were you talking about playing soccer earlier? Have you played soccer as an adult? That is an exhausting game. Of course, they're running the whole time. I played this summer. They never stop. The cardio of those dudes is

baffling. They're running the entire fucking time out there. I played soccer on the beach on a vacation a few months ago with family. You think soccer on the beach on a vacation like a few months ago with family. And you think soccer on grass sucks. I was like three minutes into soccer on the beach, like sprinting up and down. And I was like, I was so tired. I was so out of breath.

I had to do that thing where you just like spit for a couple seconds. You're like, I'm so out of shape. Beach volleyball is exhausting to me standing there it's exhausting it's beach volleyball is fun because like you can see people making the calculation in their head of like as it's going down like kind of like a body length away you're like i'm not gonna get all sandy for this oops give a lazy arm read you know yeah what what's your favorite uh in the yard or beach like kind of casual game like when you guys have family get together like go-karting or something like that's fun that would be a fun thing to do with family in the yard

that would be fun but i don't have a bunch of go-karts. Yeah, what you want to do is let the grass get nice and tall and then just carve a path and race the go-kart in it. Or I guess, what do you remember? Do you remember lawn darts? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I never accurately played lawn darts.

I think the right way to play is to put them like 20 feet apart and it's kind of like horseshoes, but we would always put them like in the neighbor's yard and just hurl lawn darts up like 100 feet in the air, and you'd see them coming. That's what we would do with our young cousins. We were all very young, but me and one of my older male cousins,

we would go out there with a gaggle of nine of our cousins, and one of us, because we were the biggest at the time would take the lawn dart and you just in the middle of the yard go like everybody ready and you heave it it's like everybody run and you run away from where the lawn dart is and then you turn around you see it go boom like with the power to just pulverize an adult skull oh and we were so bad at it right like like taylor had the motion. You reach down and you swing up high, right? But like every so often, we'd shoot it like straight back because we suck. I don't know.

Yeah. You like pull it too late, but it's in the neighbor's, you know, tire. Yeah. You're going for straight up, but you could get anything. There's no telling. Played with them because we knew we weren't supposed to because they were hidden in the back of my grandpa's shit. They were so fucking rusty.

We would have gotten Lockjaw or one of those other scary things if we got pricked by it. Thankfully, it didn't happen. Eventually, they saw us do it. They are heavy. Honestly, the entire fact that those things exist is where manufacturers did not give a Honestly, the entire... The fact that those things exist.

It's funny where manufacturers did not give a fuck about it. Because you can't make a gigantic dart without thinking, hey, what if they fuck up? It's going to happen. It's going to happen. How many people took one of those to the top of their skull? Kyle, your internet is super bad. Is there any ideas?

Is there something you can do, maybe? I'm going to wiggle wires to do that. I don't know. I'm looking up lawn dart deaths. Wow! Over a 10-year period, 6,700 people in the U.S. were treated in the hospital for injuries from lawn darts.

75% were children, and 3 died. Research showed that a lawn dart thrown a short distance lands with a force of 23,000 pounds per square inch. That's great. I'm on the same page. What does 23,000 pounds per square inch, what does that equate to? That's like more than a crocodile bite, isn't it?

What is the impact point, though? Like the tip of a rounded dart. Yeah. That would punch right through. Oh, thank you, Google. You put that into Pascal's unit. Uh-oh, 1.58579E plus 8. Thank you.

I have an understanding of what that means. How many jewels? How many jewels were created by the Impact? Yeah. If you're not talking in Newton meters, I'm at a loss. No. That was such a dumb guess. As far as real games in the yard,

is a great one. Which one? Just regular frisbee. Just throwing the frisbee around. Seeing how crazy throws you can do and how far and accurate you can throw it. In the cornhole cornhole yeah i don't know if that's in the north too but it's fun uh i missed there i said in the south i thought cornhole was a southern thing yeah yeah we played cornhole yeah um that's a good one Kyle what did you and your family play

on the yard in the yard we just threw things in the fire watched them explode burnt a lot of garbage you did like one thing more dangerous than lawn darts no um plastic a lot of fun colors as a boy scout we threw

insect repellent like you know spray cans in the fire and then they didn't explode which is a whole nother thing now you're just like you throw it in the fire waiting for the big explosion a minute goes by three minutes goes by it doesn't explode so everyone like gathers around the fire again you know like well i guess it's been proven safe yeah i know but puncture that thing what do you mean well you gotta go puncture it if you had a rifle or something ah you get a sharp curvy piece of steel and you hook it somebody's gonna run up and slap it a very long curvy piece of steel i hope no way i'm gonna be a bitch get up in there

yeah pocket knife four or five feet you're good to go what a terrible idea yeah you got to you gotta disarm that thing or get it out of the fire we used to play paintball a lot i uh my dad got us a whole slew of paintball guns when i was pretty young like he was like why would you just buy one it doesn't make any sense you know it's like you sense. It doesn't, unless you live next to a place where people play paintball. So we had a bunch of them. And we'd play paintball in the woods a lot. That was what we did when I was a teenager the most,

is we just played a shitload of paintball. Did you play with those shitty single CO2 cartridge using pump and fireworks that were like super cheap at Walmart. That's what we used as kids. No, my dad, um, I,

I, I found the ones I wanted in a website. My dad just ordered a bunch of them. So we had, uh, spiders and, uh, these GT 2000 things.

They weren't great guns, but they worked. They were like Tippmans, I guess, maybe a little better. Hmm. Wow. Those are, you were like running your own little shop basically if you're handing out Tippmans, I guess, maybe a little better. Wow. You were like running your own little shop, basically, if you're handing out

Tippmans, and then you have your angel or your spider or your hyper... I don't remember the names of any paintball stuff. I would. I would have been an angel. I don't know. I have a fancy guy. Oh, good. i'm just like running a pink because taylor sounded bad and then kyle sounded bad i'm like maybe it's me but it's not but it's not i've got some diagnostics running now and it's not. I've got some diagnostics running now, and it's not me.

Well, shit. You got that Ethernet plugged in? Yeah. Are you on wireless? Did you get wireless, Kyle? No, I'm not wireless. I always bring my spool of cable. I'm optic, baby. That's okay.

You're sounding a little bit better now. I'm optic, baby. That's okay. You're sounding a little bit better now. So, oh, Kyle, do you want to tell everybody anything before we move on to another topic? Sure. I could tell them about Casper mattresses. Oh, please do.

Go for it. This episode of PKA is brought to you by Casper mattresses. Casper is a sleep brand that makes expertly designed products to help you get your best rest one night at a time. Casper products are cleverly designed to mimic human curves, providing supportive... All right. It appears that Kyle's internet connection is garbage. So I'm going to do the ad read while he's not there. But let me scan it first. All right.

This episode of PKA brought to you by Casper Mattresses. Casper is a sleep brand that makes expertly designed products to help you get the best rest one night at a time. Casper products are cleverly designed to mimic human curves, providing supportive comfort for all kinds of bodies. Their breathable design helps you sleep cool and regulates your body temperature throughout the night. Casper offers two other mattresses, the Wave and the Essential.

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I'm sorry, promo code pka at checkout for $50 towards select mattresses. Welcome back, Taylor. It looks like Kyle vanished a bit during uh during the ad read did he take a a planned sabbatical or is this just oh no it's him dipping out it just froze while he was talking so i was like oh shucks like i guess the teacher boat cast met it was worse yeah he just he just froze and he was gone. Jesus, Kyle, hurry your ass up. I don't want to start our funny topic before you get back. Son of a bitch.

He's got his shit-tier internet. Remember in Call of Duty how you blame everyone? Not you in particular, but people would be blamed for their internet connection. Like, oh my god, did you get it at Walmart? Like, Walmart sells internet connections. But, yeah. I'd always just be like, yeah, not very good, is it? Yeah, like, hey, kind of like everyone else ever anywhere, it's the best available in my area.

That's how I chose it. That's all there is. What am I going to do? my area that's how i chose it that's all there is what am i gonna do it's rare that people have shitty internet because they're like man i'm just not gonna spring the extra ten dollars a month it's always because it's like well the best we offer is complete garbage are you okay with that you have to be unless you're and if you want to get into the carrier pigeon business they have google internet here but i opted for satellite just in case. I thought maybe that would be the way to go.

Satellite's the way of the future. This fiber stuff, it's going to fizzle. Yeah, we need to go it over the air so I can play when the weather's nice. Someone asked me an AMA question that we don't need Kyle for. Maybe Kyle's coming back? No camera, Kyle? There he is. If it goes shit, tits up again, just try turning your camera off and see if that fixes it sometimes that works or that's worked when I've

had shit uh internet are you hearing us yes absolutely yeah all right do you want to uh do that AMA that you're just about to start Woody yeah I kind of picked it because we didn't need Kyle for it but someone asked uh in all the stories you tell about your childhood, you said your dad thought you would grow up to be successful. Oh, wouldn't. He misspelled wouldn't. Your dad thought you wouldn't grow up to be successful since you had bad grades in high school and a really low GPA.

What does he think now that you're a self-made entrepreneur millionaire? Has he acknowledged your success? He has moved on to my other failures, I would say. Moral, at this point, I would think, right? Yeah, exactly. I think my father's...

I think that when my father thinks of me or sees me, he sees a person who wasn't saved. And that's the lens that he sees me now. So we've just just I guess over time my failures have migrated right first they were bad grades now I did wasn't up to snuff and then my career wasn't good enough and it was not bad you know I was making like I don't know 120 then 180 on a good year and but he

you know I say I quoted him once And, but he, you know, I quoted him once before where he was like, you know, Matt, he calls me Matt. Like, there's going to be a time in your life when you're going to wish you made good money, you know, and you'll be bummed that you didn't go in that.

I read another one where he's like, you know, I had a client. He was just, you know, doing okay, making like 400 grand every year. And, you know, Hurricane Katrina came along, presented some real opportunities, and they had a $7 million a year. You got to be in the game if you're going to make any real money. You're an employee.

You're not in the game. So that was the failure that he viewed me through then. And then once I started doing better financially, my current failure is that I'm not saved so that's where that's a difficult one because like i don't know i used to be way more harsh on this like when i got away from religion the first year or two where i was like you perceive everything to be like oh this is almost maliciousness that they're coming at me like being holier than thou but then when it's like a family member and they're like that,

part of you has to realize they genuinely, in their heart of hearts, they think that they are saving you from eternal damnation. Even though it doesn't make any sense, they really think. If they didn't care, they wouldn't bring that up to you, in a way. If he was like, oh, he's a sinner, fuck him. The fact that he brings it up almost shows like no he's he's very concerned with your eternal soul yeah so have you considered going toward the light accepting jesus christ as your personal lord and savior being washed in the blood of the lamb i'm not sure that last part's even a thing it absolutely is oh it absolutely

is washing the blood of the lamb. I thought maybe I was getting pranked there. I have not considered washing myself in the blood of a lamb, at least not literally. But as far as... I feel like I drift more away from spiritual stuff because to go towards it is dishonest with myself i i have not been given the gift of faith and to act like

that thing where there's just never any proof or the proof that the standard of proof is so low in that world you know like hey like i don't know i just saw on reddit today some girl was like anyone who thinks god is real just look at my story and she was on like a train accident where everyone died but her yes that's god at work god's not sitting up there i'm gonna teach this girl a lesson at the expense of others yeah i just it seems like people who have proof of God's existence have such a low standard for it. Like, oh man, my crop was drying out and then it rained. Checkmate, atheists. It's kind of like someone who's got that kind of cancer that only half a percent, one percent of people survive.

They're going through a children's wing, the oncology wing at a children's hospital being like hey you know you could survive just like me and if i were one of those kids i'd be like i don't want to meet anyone who has survived this disease because that's just someone that's you're in the one percent 99 like me you've got to die to you know get that stat up there and so i don't want to meet any survivors of what i have when i'm i'm just thinking about but the spirituality thing made me think of something so my girl and i were watching a movie and she gets spooked i don't think i've said this on the show she gets spooked at like spiritual demons and uh i don't think you've acknowledged her existence on and uh yeah and uh i i we were watching this, we're in a scary movie kind of fix right now

because she gets very scared by them and it's kind of funny to me. I only get scared by like the serial killer or like really spooky, like someone might kidnap me and torture me or something. And she was getting scared by the conjuring or something like that,

something supernatural. And she was like, like wanting to get up and go to the bathroom. And she's like, will you walk me to the bathroom? And I'm like, it to get up and go to the bathroom. And she's like, will you walk me to the bathroom? And I'm like, it's 15 yards that way. You can go to the bathroom. I'll pause the movie.

And she's like, I'm scared. I don't want to go. There could be demons or something. And I'm like, demons aren't real. We've talked about this. None of them are real. There are no goblins. There are no ghouls.

Nothing's going to happen. And she's like, yes, there are. They're totally real. I know they're real. And I was like, no, they're not. Watch. Satan, come into my heart. Come into my soul.

Use me as a vessel. Use me for your will, Lord Satan. I invite you in all earnest. Please invite my soul. And I did something like that. And she was like, stop. Stop doing this. Stop inviting Satan.

I was like, it's going to be fine. It's coming in. Like, I just invited just invited him you know come on in satan there's room for one more like i bet you come in i'm gonna get like i'm gonna be so successful apparently i'll be great looking like come on let's have some fun here you haven't traipsed around earth for a while what a better body so So she did not. A little higher yourself. You're like Satan. She was not as high on the comedy of that

as I was. When she came back from the bathroom, you totally should have been having a seizure. Just flippin' the fuck out. And then they come to and just walk. Just freak her out a little. Maybe grab one of those kettlebells, pretend like you're gonna smash her. Or to be doing just, like, Gregorian chants

or something as she's in there from right outside. If you know any Latin, that would be the time. Ah, no. Semper Fi! I don't know. How's your father with you, Taylor? Is he just straight-up happy with everything that's going on, top to bottom? He doesn't come. How's your father with you, Taylor? Is he just straight up happy with everything that's going on top to bottom? He doesn't come at you with your areas that you should be focusing on?

No. If my dad thinks that I'm not taking advantage of something or not taking the initiative or anything like that, he'll tell me and be honest about it. But no, my dad is incredibly supportive of whatever I've ever chosen to do, like as a kid, as an adult. You know, if I told him, hey, I want to quit and pursue my dream of insert dream here, he'd be like, you need to be really realistic about this. But just know I'm going to be supportive of whatever you want to do with your life. You know, as long as it's not like I want to go, you know, live in a van and do heroin, like nothing like that, but like real aspirations. No, my dad is both of my parents are incredibly supportive. I'm lucky in that way yeah see i don't think he's not supportive of my aspirations it's just he has a natural tendency to sort of manage by exception right

like he finds the areas where he thinks you need improvement and those are his favorite topics yeah maybe it could almost be that like your dad built so much of his relationship on you, formed out of criticism, that now he doesn't really know how to form a genuine contact without bringing criticism into it. I don't know, though. That's like a Dr. Phil pop psych meaning drivel. It beats my view. It beats the view where I learn all my politics i'm just kidding yeah i don't even know who's on the view anymore i don't need it it's it's a bunch of hens just cackling and spreading misinformation in my head the view is whoopee rosie some pretty blonde girl

oh barbara walters and another old chick. But I'm sure I'm like five years out of date. I've never watched The View, but I feel like that's the kind of show where like in September, they'll be like, you need to be drinking half a cup of coconut oil before bed every night to lose weight. And then they'll say in November, actually, that was a terrible idea. Turns out coconut oil filled with fat calories i've been told by people before who watch those like shows uh like you know stuff on like fox news or um uh the view or like not like the news part of fox just like the you know the talking kind of fox and it kind of shows like cbs or abc would be a

better example where they'll like all people say like example. A neat secret for losing weight is you want to eat a tablespoon of peanut butter right before bed so your metabolism keeps working. I don't know where to begin to tell you how little sense that makes. How is eating peanut butter before bed going to make me... Now is my body going like, well, I guess sleep's not on the table, boys. We've got gotta get through this you keep the body churning like no your metabolism keeps going when you sleep like that's silliness total silliness and that kind of stuff gets propagated all over the place especially with diet yeah kyle you don't do much research into diet? No. I think it's calories in and calories out, by and large.

Kyle's got the Kyle system. Yeah. And hey, I have never seen you fat, and so it seems to be a working system. I think it's just like everyone wants it to be about some sort of special berry or so many teaspoons of cinnamon every day, because that would be easier than just... That would be a hilarious thing to tell people to do. A spoonful of cinnamon every day. What are you doing than just be a hilarious thing to tell people to do a spoonful of cinnamon every day oh what are you doing you're not snorting it no wonder it's not working yeah that's done it once intra-erectorally a spoon how else you're gonna blow it in there with a straw like cocaine just a whole series of those kinky straws the curly q ones yeah no no the ones

with the bendy ankles so you could get from your own mouth to your rear uh those didn't just collapse along the way you need with the hard plastic like crazy straws i like those you're making a lot of sense i see everybody's going to toward the paper straws now and the cardboard straws i hate it they stick to my lips. Starbucks is getting rid of straws. What is their stirring mechanism? Does anyone know where they're headed on this? I saw something today where a guy was kind of analyzing. They're like, we're getting rid of straws and shit to be better for the environment.

And he was like, well, I used on whatever scale like to the to the 0.01 of gram scale i weighed the old cup with a large straw and then i weighed their new cup and the new cup by every measurement on different scales weighs like two grams of plastic more he's like so what is like what's being saved here like it's not paper no it's it's a plastic uh like sippy cup looking thing that they're going to be putting on the top of starbucks glasses yeah which is better than paper because paper is unpleasant but also what i think it is i think they're hiding under the banner of environmentalism but really i think they can probably cut costs by no longer having to provide two different things like like so somebody can't go i want a cup, or I want a lid, and I want a straw.

They can just be like, all right, we're not using two factories anymore, or we're not going to, you know, take down the factory and rebuild it for two days and then, like, make a million straws. Tired of getting fucked over by big straw. Yeah, by big straw. They're like, no, we're just going to have one factory line moving 24-7, pumping the exact same product out, and that's going to save us money on efficiency is what would be my guess like it seems just they're taking up manufacturing and being like ah oh no no perfect they don't want straws anymore oh hell yeah

that makes sense to me yeah kyle's gone for a bit uh yeah that makes sense to me i My Facebook feed has a lot of conservatives on it. And man, I'm not saying all conservatives, probably the normal ones just aren't even talking about it. But the ones I'm exposed to, they're out of their minds. Like, why are you so mad about the straw? How is it a liberal conspiracy to get rid of straws? You're like, you know, Starbucks just makes one bad decision after another, and now I'm off their coffee because they're not doing straws the way you want. I feel like Starbucks could just lower prices and you'd be fucking pissed off at them because you think of them as a liberal company. Yeah, there are definitely people who have their mind made up like that.

I don't give a shit what the business decides they want to do. I just think it's naive the way that people will be like, oh, Starbucks really gives a fuck about rivers and trees. And it's like, no, they don't. They found an opportunity to lower manufacturing costs more often than not, and they took it. Like, it's just a business decision, and I'm fine with them doing that. Like, operate your business however you want.

They clearly do a fucking ship-shaped job of doing it because everybody uses Starbucks. They're do a fucking ship-shaped job of doing it because everybody uses Starbucks. They're doing a good job. Yeah. You trying to find a ridiculous outrage comment about the straws? No. I can't even imagine getting mad about Starbucks. Maybe it's because I don't go to Starbucks or coffee places, really,

but being like, oh, goddamn Obama taking away my straw. I'm going to burn my lips Setting up Good thing there's nothing private in the chat I'm setting up a Window for you so I can toggle back and forth A little better as Kyle comes and goes Oh okay Yeah Christ Kyle

This is why Putting private stuff in the chat is a bad idea you never know when i'll fuck up just did not do it that's that's the case uh well i guess uh we could move to one of these news stories and hopefully kyle will come back that works all right i fixed the display mostly so here is one i'll link it to you it's called scarlett johansson uh transgender conspiracy or controversy not conspiracy she's definitely a woman or i would be oh that would be i mean in some of her roles it'd take a lot of CGI to trick me. Yeah. It's like, those look like real good tits. Fantastic. So she apparently is joining a film as the lead actress,

and she's going to be playing a trans woman? Transgender man, it says in the title. A trans man. Yeah, a transgender man who is a woman, wants to be a man, and apparently, trans people are, like, really pissed about this. And they're, or, not all of them, obviously. I'm sure, just like every outrage

thing, most people don't give a fuck. They just want the movie to be good. But some trans people and their allies on, like, the far insane left are, like, you are robbing a job from a trans woman actress and it's like no she's not if you pick some trans lady that no one has heard of ever no one is going to give a buck about your movie i feel like basic business is lost on so many people she got picked

because she's a name like nobody they weren't like oh man she looks so much like this this frumpy looking uh person the 50s like you gotta get scarlet it's like no she will bring people to the box office sorry that the world isn't just gonna perfectly align with your ideological beliefs like you think that movie is gonna be like you know what we were thinking about it instead of making a lot of money with scarlett johansson as the star let's lose an insane amount of money by picking a no-name non-actor trans uh uh girl and throw them in the mix like no it's just it's nonsense like people will get upset about anything and and uh and uh someone one of the people uh writing an article saying this is

pretty much exactly what I said just now totally inoffensive totally accurate they got fired they got fired their magazine let them go because there was such a deluge of complaints about tolerance and saying like you're being intolerant of that when really it's like no they're just explaining how

the world works like you can't just shoehorn and plug in what you want. Make your own movie. I don't live in this world where people get fired over this or get frustrated over this. Even my blue friends don't say, oh my god you know you took a job from a transgender person actors should be based on how close they are to the person they modeled no no no no that's that i totally believe you and that's the insidious part of this is that these articles will be written up and they will speak about it as though there is an uprising of offended people and they'll

and then they'll write more articles citing the initial article to be like well yes so many people are outraged when really it's like no nobody's outraged you're just looking for an outrage story to get people upset like nobody actually is caring that much it's like when uh uh businesses get boycotted where they're like hey i'm not gonna go to uh bass pro anymore i'm not gonna uh go use this product because it's on Rachel Maddow or whatever it is. And then it's really not a lot of people. It's not a lot of people doing that.

Most people are pretty content to be like, oh yeah, I don't really care what their CEO thinks. They provide a good product at a reasonable price and I'm going to continue to patronize that establishment.

Like lots of Chick-fil-A's consumers are liberal because they don't care. They just want a good chicken sandwich for a reasonable price. It doesn't dominate their life. Same thing with comedians. They'll write articles like Jim Norton or Bill Burr outrages the crowd, uproar over his sexist joke. And then they'll play a clip of it and people are cracking up. It's like, no, one person got pissy, made up a story, went home.

Some know-nothing, retard, cunt of a blogger picks it up and then now it's a story that the comedian has to deal with it's like there's so much contrived made up out of whole cloth outrage it's hard to tell what's genuine exactly yeah i agree with that yep absolutely yeah it yeah like i'm going to see this movie either way. It looks boring. Yeah. It's not my cup of tea. Yeah. That brings me back to, I guess I brought this topic up.

I still think Scarlett Johansson is regular pretty. But everyone else thinks she's Hollywood top tier super hot. Very attractive. I know Kyle's on my team with this one. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, big time. I have been against the world on topics like this, only to discover five years later, like, oh, I was wrong all along.

I think I didn't see the big deal in one of the Jessicas. Jessica Biel or Jessica whoever the other one is. Alba. Alba, yeah. I think I was slow to get on one of their trains. And then afterwards I was like, what are you thinking, you fag? This is clearly a perfect female. So maybe someday

I'll see the beauty in Scarlett Johansson? Johansson? Johansson. Johansson? Johansson. There is an argument by looking at the letters of her name for Johansson. There is no argument. It's

J-O, Han, and then son. Maybe not Hannah, but Johansson? That's how you say it though i could i could get behind johansson before johanneson johansson would be like uh like if she was from sweden or something she just needs one more letter and she'd be johanneson just one letter off but uh yeah i don't know i just see her as a regular pretty person. I disagree with that.

Oh, apparently, I just, in Scarlett Johansson breaking news, they're making a Black Widow movie. Maybe I, has this been news? It's new to me. Yeah, it's the first I've heard of it. That's good, I guess. See how that goes. No, it's not. It'd be like if they made a movie about

the 1984 losing men's Olympic hockey team. I'd like to see that. Can you imagine how their lives were changed forever? Let's go, boys! And they'd get stomped by the Soviets. Man, these guys have been training. The whole time.

Four years, they're pissed off. This is like the year after the NBA team got bronze. They came back with the redeemed team? Fuck. If you watch that documentary Red Army about the Soviet hockey team and what they made them do between 1980 and 1984,

there wasn't a fucking prayer that the US was beating them again. Where they're like, what are we doing today? Well, you will run three miles up beach, pick up heavy rock, run six miles down beach, and then we will not pick you up. Come back, fucking loser. Lose to U.S. of A.

You lose to U.S. of A hockey, not even Canada. Fucking bullshit. Goddamn. Your parents will be released right after the games. Potentially. Yeah, I... They were so into it. I've seen that documentary you're talking about where they got the rocks.

He's like, you know, in the wintertime, of course, we played hockey, but in the summertime there was no ice. So we moved rocks. They're stopped by the beach lifting these gigantic rocks and moving them around. Just moving them around. It's what makes the Flyers' accomplishment that much moving them around just moving them around it's what makes the fire's accomplishment that much richer i wish i could show it to you guys but the the

video i'm talking about is like 15 or 18 minutes long so it's not something we'd share on the show but they just go and i know we've covered it but they played was it every nhl team or like six different nhl teams they played a bunch of the better NHL teams. And they went through and the Russian team just stomped team after team after team. And then they went up against the Flyers. And the Flyers, this is not even hockey. This is fist fight. And they just head on it.

It wasn't hockey. The Flyers were like, we can't win hockey. Oh, well, they outscored them because Russia was like, all right, first, second, third line, off. No, our entire team isn't going to get their throat cut by a skate. I think the Flyers were the defending NHL champions at the time. Does that sound right? Was it like 74?

Something like that, yeah. It would be, I think it was 76. Yeah, the Flyers were the best team in hockey, and they did it by being the Broad Street Bullies. It was hockey as defined by the best hockey team. Yeah, fair enough. It was champion hockey is what it was, because they were champions.

We never get much reminiscing sports talk out of you, Kyle. I know partially because you just aren't into it that much. Do you have any memories from back in the day of watching the Braves and being really into it and excited? Maybe with your dad, anything like that? Do you remember the Braves? The second best.

No, he doesn't like sports at all. I watched them win the World Series in 95. I remember that. We had a parade. We all watched the parade at school. So that was good, I guess. But then, you know, as Woody just mentioned, you watch them be second or third or fourth best for like a decade,

literally a decade. And then, like, so I got to know a lot of the the really good players in the national league because those would be the ones who'd come to town and beat us every year so that that was you know i remember when um oh what was what was the pitcher the big guy who went and played for the the houston astros clemens fucking roger clemens decides to leave the yankees and now he's pitching for the fucking astros so we got to deal with him before we can get into the get into the next round of the playoffs. And it's fucking Roger Clemens.

You had Greg Maddox and somebody else. Who's the other one? Not at this point. We had Maddox, Glavin, and Smoltz. Smoltz is who I was thinking of. Yeah, all Hall of Famers. Smoltz has some ridiculous record because of how many games he started and won. And how many games he closed.

Because he went on and became one of the best closers in baseball for like the last couple years of his career but uh but yeah just a lot of second bests the wild thing aren't the braves good this year yep we had john rocker um there was uh he is the uh inspiration for the eastbound and down character if you've seen that that whole show yeah yeah john rocker played for the braves uh we went to play the yankees that year uh i believe for the world series because they're al so yeah we're playing and it was one of those series i felt like we went into it and even as a kid i was like oh well this is where we lose this is the part where we lose when we play the yankees we've heard of them they're like like, the Atlanta Braves, where are they from? Yeah, exactly.

Can't we play the Marlins? And John Rocker is a closer for the Atlanta Braves. He's a very boisterous, outspoken. If you've seen that movie where the guy's like a wild thing or whatever, and he comes out and he's like a villainous closer, it's like that. He comes out and he's the bad guy. And it's like, baseball thing or whatever and he comes out he's like a villainous closer it's like that he comes out and he's the bad guy and it's like baseball doesn't have bad guys you just come out and do your thing but he comes out like mean mugging the crowd late like he said he said he did this interview in new york after he'd been there for a couple of days leading up to this series

and he called it jew york and he remarked about how many homosexuals and black people there were on the subways and how it was like a trash, garbage city. He may have used the words Sodom and or Gomorrah. And then it was all over the New York papers. They called him racist rocker or something like that. It was a whole tirade. It was a whole thing. And so when he came out on the field, they were throwing batteries and beers and just screaming at him he's lucky he wasn't

playing philly fans maybe they didn't do very well that year but uh but we lost that series he was a cool he was a cool player though he threw like 103 miles an hour and so you know people like to see that there's a lot of interest in him too like know, my team wasn't playing and I was hearing about John Rocker. Kyle told the story. Great. And it was fun. He's a he's a character. I don't want him as a neighbor, but I love him on my TV.

Yeah, absolutely. Good. It was entertaining. And like I said, you go watch Eastbound and down. It's like, oh, that's John Rocker. I get it. OK. All right.

Man, athletes like that are fun. Like, they add a little spice to the game. They don't do the whole, like, you know, we should have worked harder. You know, we gotta stay in the game. You know, just get... You're just gonna create some opportunities next year. Yeah. Create some opportunities. Capitalize.

Boring. Like, you want someone who's a little bit nuts. Who's like, why'd you lose the game today, Steve? Pitching a little bit off? No, I'm pretty sure the Braves cursed me. What? Yeah, I saw them doing some kind of voodoo beforehand. I don't know.

I still feel off. Just anything. Anything that's a little off kilter makes it much better. I was going to say, I watched a really good uh like mini series on uh netflix it's called the jinx um and uh it's about this guy named robert hurst you ever heard of robert hurst i don't think so yeah so the hurst family oh i've seen this yeah it's good the hurst family which is this guy's family he's not like some distant relative he's like the brother of the guy that owns the Hearst Empire in Manhattan.

They're like the fifth largest property holder in New York. They own the World Trade Center. That's one of their properties. This Robert Hearst guy, who's been kind of alienated from the family for a number of years, has been involved in not one, not two, but three murders. Okay? Very closely. been involved in not one not two but three murders okay very closely one of them he went to trial on and he got away with it on um self-defense but also his wife had gone missing never been found the guy he got the self-defense acquittal on he dismembered that man put him in garbage bags and

threw him in the ocean he was found not guilty of that and then there was a third murder there's a third murder um and the wife not being found there's no charges there right like she exactly never were any charges and then um one of the ways that he got this alibi for his wife is a female called her work and basically called in sick for her the next day which puts them in completely different areas but it was long believed that he'd had this other female he knew fake her voice and that she was in on the whole thing well lo and behold then she's dead like then then the lady that they believe that he was using to do the voice she's dead so these people make a documentary about this guy on netflix and around episode five, spoiler, they solve the fucking mystery.

They had a letter from the killer where he misspells Beverly Hills in this block writing. And then they had an envelope from Robert Hurst. Same block lettering also misspells Beverly. So they get him in the interview room. They get him in the hot box. And they're like, look at this and look at this. What do you think about that? And he starts burping uncontrollably.

He starts freaking out a little. He's like, that's odd. That is odd. Could I go to the bathroom? He leaves his microphone on. He's in the bathroom and he goes, they've got you now. You're fucked up. They've got you now.

And of course you did it. You killed them wait he said that yeah as he's pissing yeah you can hear him in there he's like he's like holding himself back from vomiting and pissing and realizing that he's just basically giving himself up and then he literally says it on a hot mic to them out there, like recording it. He's just like, of course you did it. You killed them all. And it's just like, oh shit. Did he just, did they just get him? Yeah, they got him. That was it.

That was it. He goes to court on a lot of that evidence that these documents, that the documentary people that you've been watching the whole time found and they put him in prison. It's incredible. Oh, so they catch him in real life. It was real. The whole thing's real. The whole thing's a. Oh, so they catch him in real life. It was real. The whole thing's real. The whole thing's a documentary.

They've got the murderer working on, they're doing a documentary on this supposed murderer and he's a big part of it. He's traveling around the city with them. He's constantly with them doing interviews. Right. And then at the very end on like the third interview when they bust him with this information

like right in his face and he, and that's it. They solve the whole case at the end. It's perfect.'s perfect it's really good yeah i would recommend that to anyone you can go to robert durst's uh wiki and read all about it as well it was fascinating i couldn't i couldn't believe what was happening it was like fiction it was they were like we just caught him we got him all we gotta do is get him in here and make him read this, and then make him read that, and then he's done. And then it got even better, of course, because he goes in the

bathroom like Danny DeVito, and it's always Sonny. Yeah, I did that perfectly in Sonny, where he just starts going, excuse me. He's nervous. You can imagine he's just been nailed to the wall on camera by the documentary film crew, and he starts burping.

They caught me doing a lot of things that I definitely did. So that happened in always sunny. They mocked it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Frank had owned a sweatshop in Vietnam where they would throw like animals into the soup.

And sometimes a hand or a foot throw that in the soup too. And he realizes he's on a hot mic. He's like, there was no soup. There was soup i made that up man do you remember when i think it was called to make a murderer or the making of a murderer or something that was all the rage yeah i mean they presented a really good case for if not the main guy being innocent the like retarded cousin yeah the functionally retarded cousin type dude her nephew it might have been he's out he's back in i think oh now it's just a matter of whose stuff is more current do you remember stuff today i remember

him getting released like brandon or bre Brendan, I believe is his name. I believe it's Brendan. And around the time I watched the It's Always Sunny episode where they mock to make a murderer or the making of a murderer or whatever. I thought that Brandon was getting out or Brendan. Is he out yet or no?

What Taylor? Is Brandon Darby, I guess? Is he out yet or no yeah that's what we're trying to determine i heard he was about a year ago um but we're trying to what he thinks maybe he got sent back in that would i wonder how god i was so convinced while watching that documentary like the rube that i am i was was like, he's totally innocent, innocent for sure. And then I watched like one YouTube series, like quote unquote debunking it. And then I'm like, oh, how could I have been so blind to all the evidence presented?

So it turns out on this one, I'm right. In June 2017, I had read this too. They overturned his conviction. In December 2017, six months later, they upheld his conviction 4-3. So now he's back in. And it appears that it's still going. Let me see. That poor guy.

For anyone who hasn't seen it, the guy is very slow. And he's just... I don't know. I haven't seen the documentaries that debunk the show. But it seemed like, even if he did do it, he just didn't seem like he should be held responsible. At least not as a criminal adult. He was just not all there.

At all. It appears that it's over. He gonna do his term oh yeah well how long is his term uh hang in there i'm gonna guess 15 to 20 years probably a long time he's just gonna be dull and dangerous when he gets out. He's going to be mad. Life in prison, eligible for parole in 2048. So 30 years from now, he's eligible. Yeah. Damn. They'll have cured that by then. A whole life gone.

30 years. Yeah. I mean, he'll, no, he'll be 47. So that's just the good part of life. Oh, no, he'll be older than that, won't he? He was 17. Maybe start some kind of an online cooking show when he gets out. I'd watch the hell out of that.

What? What if he had one about how to clean up messes around the house? You want to get deep in the quacks. That's how they catch you. What did he say he was convicted of first degree murder second degree second sexual assault and mutilation of a corpse that's some good stuff they didn't even throw away this toothbrush after you clean with it don't use it

again yeah but to make it seem really biased right now i don't know i'm just like looking and assuming some bias but they're like you know hey the cops looked here didn't find anything looked a second time third time they looked they found these things don't you think they would have found it on the first two like i don't know when i can't find my fucking keys that's how it goes for me too you know like but they're investigators fair enough and i'm particularly bad at this lousy one but uh yeah and it just makes me wonder you know like and they would say that like the fact that they had to search more than once was evidence that they planted things there um but for me i I'm like, I don't know.

They did seem kind of crooked and had a motive, but the worst of it, the worst, worst, worst of it, was they had video of them interrogating this functionally retarded kid, and he did not know what he was saying. He didn't know what he was doing. The cops were doing cop things, like counseling him. Like, hey, man, look. I'm just trying to help you out. I'm trying to help you out. saying he didn't know what he was doing the cops were doing cop things like counseling him like

hey man like look i'm just trying to help you out i'm trying to help you i can imagine how stressful this whole situation was you know if you could just write a thing for me on how you murdered her and burned the body and mutilated the corpse and raped her a little bit uh you know like so there were like two chains on her arms, right? Two chains, right? Okay, yes. All right. So you've admitted to that. Maybe just go through.

Yeah. Convince this kid. At the end of... What is the word when you admit that you're guilty? Confession. Confession. That's what I'm going for. At the end of the confession of first-degree murder, sexual assault, and mutilation of a corpse,

he asked them if he could go because he had homework to do that night. He has to finish it before wrestling. Is that what it was? And I'm just like, oh my gosh, this kid has no grip on what's happening here to him.

Yeah, it's completely fucked up. It's really fucked up. I didn't like that part at all. I felt at the very least that he hadn't been given due process, that he hadn't been treated fairly, and on that alone he should be released. Forget his innocence or guilt. But then it also seemed that he wasn't guilty,

and if he were guilty of something, then he probably isn't functional enough mentally to be considered a bad guy. His attorneys seem to be on the team of the prosecution. His own attorney wasn't on his side. They were just like, alright, how can we get this guy locked up? We don't want him on the streets anymore.

Your attorney's supposed to be on your team. That's how that works. Especially if you're defending a handicapped person. How's he supposed to... Yes. Yeah, that was the one part of that documentary

that disturbed slash upset me more. Because it was literally what you said. They're like, and then this happened, right? He's like, what? This, this, and this. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever you just said, sure. Yeah, he was trying to get them to like him.

As long as I can get home to watch Triple H, you know, or whatever the hell he was waiting to do uh yeah that's that's fucked i wonder how many i always wonder how many people are falsely imprisoned probably not as high a number as you would believe but there's still got to be some like quite a few at least i've been watching um i told you guys about it 23 and 1 i think his channel channel is. He went to prison for a while. And they almost got him on something he didn't do. Like they tried to get him on kidnapping. But in reality, he just stabbed a guy.

Apparently, three people were coming over to jump him. It was in his own house, in his own yard. He got a knife. And he went to kind of like pick the guy up and dump him that that's a super effective move on the streets and prison fights he talked about that but in reality he didn't really lift him but he had a knife in his hand and he stabbed him twice in the back and one of the times it made like a suction sound and i think he killed that guy i'm not positive about that i don't know i don't want to go ruin his good name but uh the other two i think after he killed the first guy like we're not interested in fighting

but there was a girl involved he doesn't know why she was upset and um bottom line the girl told some lies and said he was also guilty for kidnapping but he beat that charge and just went in on what i guess was murder or something like that. Good news is you didn't kidnap her. Yeah. Well, he was like, if they got me on that charge too, one I was innocent of, I'd still be in there right now. And it's like, yeah, I guess so. That's why this poor Dennis-y guy is in there forever.

But, man, his channel is compelling to me. I spend more time than I should for a guy who hasn't had a traffic ticket since 19 thinking about how I'm gonna survive in prison. One of the things they talk about that's critically important is not to talk shit about people, right? No one is your friend.

No one is your friend. This guy who's your cellie, you think you're bonded, whatever, that you two have a relationship that is tighter than the outside. Wrong. Wrong. No one is your friend in this whole thing. When you're in jail, which is like the waiting time before penitentiary, before prison, there's other people in there trying to get their sentence lightened. You tell them, like, yeah, I did X, Y, or Z.

They'll snitch on you and say hey this guy confessed to me I can be a witness in your thing saying that he told me this if you could knock some years off nobody is your friend you're not bonding with anyone keep your mouth shut and I'm just like man could I spend 15 years in prison

with the same people and never talk shit about any of them you'd slip up at some point you'd accidentally make an off color joke I know I would the same people and never talk shit about any of them. You'd slip up at some point. You'd accidentally make an off color joke. I know I would. I don't know if you've noticed, but big Mike always hogging the basketball.

Yeah, dude. Who knows what would offend big Mike? That could be a thing. Like Nazi Joe curling in the squat rack. What a dick. Yeah. Right. Your head beat in with a rack. What a dick. Yeah, right? Your head beat in with a bar. Yeah.

I don't want to rat her out. I can't even say it. My wife was talking shit about someone on her planet. And I'm just like, baby, you'd never make it in prison. You'd be so fucked. And she's like, yeah, I would. You know? That would be one of the harder parts for me.

Like a big part of it. Preventing yourself from gossiping with the boys would be the hard part. I don't think of myself as like a huge gossip, someone who's constantly talked trash. But going 15 years with zero of it would be a challenge i think and uh his other stuff um he he tells a story i wish i could retell it as well as he does but he would walk past all the cells and look he'd look left he'd look right you know just wouldn't you like aren't you curious i can't walk past a hotel room with an open door without wondering like oh that door's open. Yeah.

I'm not peeking my head in or anything, but my eyes are trespassing. And, you know, this big guy comes to him. He says he scared him. And 23 and 1 is a guy who would scare any of us, I think. And he was like, you know, I can't tell the story as well. But he's like, bitch. Maybe not bitch. Like, you cannot be looking in cells. I'm going to give you a pass because you're young and you don't know what the fuck you're doing.

But you're going to see shit in there that scares you. You're going to see shit in cells that you don't want to see. You're going to be a witness to something maybe you shouldn't be a witness to. And, you know, you don't want that on you. You look and you keep your eyes Down motherfucker down And I'm just like man Can I walk past cells For 15 to 20 years and not look

In them That's a hard one Are you not nosy I'm a social guy I'm a social guy This is the tip of the iceberg Stuff that I don't think These are the things that get you in trouble. It appears.

It appears that if you go in there and keep to yourself and stay out of trouble, don't owe anyone anything, and maybe take some lumps or two but put up a fight now and then, then you can mostly stay out. People won't go after you. You won't be part of the game. You keep yourself out of the game. It's 90% of the challenge, based on YouTube videos, so I'm an expert. It's 90% of the challenge of surviving in prison without problems.

But you start borrowing money. You get yourself in some debt. Borrowing money? That seems like a terrible idea in prison. Oh, but they'll try to sucker you. Like, Taylor, you want a honey bun? Dude, it's cool. Here's another honey bun. Before long, you find yourself three honey buns in debt.

I bought my own honey bun! And the payoff is right now! Right now! Or we're turning you out. Which, if you don't know what turning you out is, you're going to start doing that thing with your shirt and wearing tight pants and sucking dick. Hold my pocket.

Hold my pocket. Turn you out so they just beat the shit out of you and make you suck dick and shit. Yeah. I think if you're getting turned out, then you're doing that to avoid the beatings. But it might take a beating or two to make you turn out. But that's the score. Like, you know, you're in a spot where physically you're fucked. Either this guy or this group of guys.

It's not like you're beyond stand up to your bullies. You're past that. Now you're just fucked. To avoid that, apparently a big, big part of it is just keeping to yourself, keeping your nose clean, keep your nose down. You know, don't be social. Don't go talking to people.

Don't be part of the game. That would be hard. That would be hard. I'd be making friends. And then I would learn they're not very good friends. This is my friend N-word Mike That's okay

Okay No I don't want another honey bun God damn my ass is still sore Dude it's really hard It's really hard And I'm trying to be honest I think I could be good for some period of time Three weeks

You know Weeks Maybe six I think I could be good for some period of time, three weeks, you know? Weeks? Weeks. Three weeks? Weeks, maybe six. I've got to give myself the benefit of the doubt. What are you in here for? Flightering.

But if I'm in there for 15 years? No, you'd find another regular dude who also crashed his silly flying machine into a group of children and killed them you know someone else who was in there on you know they they rate they wrecked their uh their jet-powered canoe into a bunch of children you know and yeah you and them have that together you're like ah i flew into them vehicular homicide fist bumps yeah what'd you do bumps yeah what'd you do do you paramotor a bunch of kids alright Galileo that's who you are now Galileo

how would you do in prison either of you probably just fall into deep depression I think Taylor in particular could build the body right like you would respond well to weight training being your only activity, right? You're, you're, you're lifting now you're doing well, but you do better. You'd be, you'd be a strong guy. Uh, and you're not a short guy.

I don't, people can't tell on camera, but you're like six, one or two or something. Um, so you'd be, but even so like six, two jacked taylor there's bigger dudes oh for sure unless like i don't think that's part of the deal though i don't think that you're trying to make yourself physically imposing enough that anybody will leave you alone in fact if anything if you get too pumped up they're gonna be like we need that guy let's let's get Big T over here. We want him on our team. Are you sure he doesn't look Latino? He'll do. He'll do. Hey, Tito, come on. And I start wearing a collared shirt with just that top button. And my shirt's all empty. I'd be a great solo.

You haven't been Hispanic the whole time man No actually I was using you to get out My god thank christ Go back to white culture Taylor what would be your downfall in prison Oh probably Being a loud mouth Talking shit

Like not Being Trying to be funny And getting laughs from people being a loud mouth talking shit, like not, not, uh, like, uh, being an intended, trying to be funny and getting laughs from people and not realizing the person who's was at the, the butt of the joke is like, I'm going to, I'm going to cut your toes off tonight or like whatever they,

they do. He tells a story. I would just shut the fuck up. I, I, in my head, I say that I don't know if in reality I could shut up for that long. He tells a story of a guy who gets his ass kicked by like Crazy Horse or something like that.

And they're just... He's like, don't joke around. Don't fucking joke around. Joking around gets you fucked up. And he remembered the insults, I don't. But they were just going back and forth. And towards the end of the joking session, one guy said something about the other guy's mom.

And the other guy said something about his mom. And I thought the mom insults were on parody. There's some parody. It's not like I said, your mom's a stinky poo-poo head. And then the other guy comes back and says, your mom's a fucking whore who sucked my dick. No, they were roughly on par with each other and the other guy was like i'm gonna something it was code for how he was going to kick his ass like

you know you better have your shoes on in the morning or something like that yeah no that that's part of the thing you better put your jammies up tight. You need to wear shoes in the morning, and you need to have your shirt off if you're prepared for a fight. Shoes on, shirt off. I don't know why these things are very critical. You better rub yourself down with butter. Yeah, that's the thing. Oil up.

Oil up. Shoes on, shirt off. Those are part of the thing. I get slippery before I bang. So the guy didn't take him seriously you know and maybe that was part of the deal maybe maybe his idea of avoiding the fight was not preparing for a fight you know like but it didn't work out for him and he got dumped and uh i can't getting dumped you know like you double leg a guy and then you slam him on the ground uh yeah he was talking about how prison

fights are really one and he's like grappling is a big part of it and he's like if you ever if you ever got into any martial arts like like brazilian jiu-jitsu or maybe they were high school wrestlers those guys are super effective and he's like he's describing prison concrete he's like something about prison concrete is like harder than every other concrete it's just hard and uh and it made sense to me because ice is hard like if you ever play ice hockey like something ice feels harder than concrete somehow like back me up right yeah it's super hard crack your head split it wide open without a helmet falling there not even being slammed by an enormous man with tattoos all over yeah so uh he's like one of the

ways people get dumped and, this guy wasn't ready and he got dumped and which is basically a slam, you know, head on the ground and he was out and he got all lumped up

when he was unconscious and it was a bad scene. But yeah, joking, talking trash, just basically talking to people about it. Not good.

I don't think anybody would want to spend their commissary money. Is that what it's called? Yeah, their commissary money on magic cards with me. Do you play Magic the Gathering? Oh, no. I'm going to get my

ass beat now, aren't I? Me either. Nerds. I like whatever you like they play all the games this guy in particular was a gambler like you said there's poker but he played other games

Pinochle and Rummy and Gin Rummy probably Dice yes Dice was one I don't know my card games that well I don't even know how to play Go Fish is there a game called mackerel did i make that up i'm not sure you keep a twos in your socks oh you keep a twos in your socks take your socks up the twos in his socks cheating is a problem there's cheating he confessed he's like he was playing with this

other guy didn't speak english i don't know these stories are funny but like he didn't speak english but they both played cards so they bonded on a non-verbal level right yeah and uh they're playing for like days and days and days cards right and, right? And he's like, I'm cheating, like, motherfucker. I'm cheating constantly. And apparently he's good at cheating. So he's hiding cards. He's stacking the deck. He knows how to do things and not get caught.

He's a better than average cheater. And this other guy, you know, he eventually catches the other guy cheating too. Gets very offended. He's like, what the fuck? Motherfucker, you're cheating? All this time? I thought we were bonding. Meanwhile, I cheated every hand.

But he was wildly offended that the other guy was cheating. So then the other guy, in English defending himself and he's like you speak english listen up here buddy it was another betrayal of his trust meanwhile there was parody in the cheating but somehow that wasn't okay with him and he was just wildly upset that this other guy was cheating and they weren't friends anymore until like eight hours later the guy sticks his head out and his like latino accent he's like uh poker and he's like all right poker and they made up yeah i'm just my plan is to just avoid prison because i'm not nearly tough enough to go to prison no way i don't have any plans to do the kinds of things that would land me in prison. My fear is, like I was joking, but like,

what if I text and drive and get busted on two counts of vehicular homicide? Oh, it's the paramotor. Let's just keep it where it belongs. It's really not. The paramotor weighs 42 pounds. I'm not killing anyone with it. Ah, mass times velocity. You're a fucking thunderbolt from the heavens when you come screaming it.

It's going to be like a Mortal Kombat finishing move when you come screaming it. It's going to be like a Mortal Kombat finishing move when you hit those children. It's going to be over. I'll have to cut away from the wing for that to happen. I'm not positive I could break a window. Oh, you still won't be alive. If we're done with prison, Kyle, can you tell us a little bit about

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Yeah, I think you just want to make – I think you can make friends in prison. I think – I think you just want to – I don't think you want to be running around socializing, but if you could find a thing that you're good at or a conversation that you could participate in, like if there's people gambling on sports, I'm sure you could whittle your way into that. Bet some of your cigarettes or whatever you have.

Maybe he joked about magic. I guarantee there's someone in the prison system right now fucking playing magic. They're doing it. These people have time on their hands. There's nothing nerdy in jail. Maybe. Still, something will slip me up.

Like Taylor said, like he said, you know, I would likely get caught joking, right? And it's all fun and games until it stops being fun and games. That's a trap I could fall into. You've got to know your audience. Kyle, you're a social guy. You've always been very careful about thinking before you talk. You don't have a tendency to say anything that you regret. But in 15 years, tell me you wouldn't make one mistake.

but in 15 years tell me you wouldn't make one mistake you know like you couldn't find yourself having said something you wish you didn't suppose it could happen definitely so you definitely want to be careful what you said about big mike and the boys but little julio like he's got his turf you don't be infringing on that or you don't want to make fun of his height. He can't help it. No. You don't want to cross any of the gangs. Or just any one. And then, as a white dude, I'm learning it's a little bit tougher. Because white guys are a little reluctant to join gangs. Because it's all like Aryan racist shit. You can't have been a Nazi in prison with some tats that go along with it and then just rejoin, you know, the crew at Chick-fil-A.

You know, you're kind of branded that for good. Whereas, you know, if you're in one of the other gangs, it doesn't carry the same kind of stigma. Yeah. The white gang is the scariest of the of the gangs though so i think that bodes well for for white people if you're at least if you're afraid of violence right yeah the aryan uh brotherhood is like five percent of the real deal they're like three percent of the population these numbers are skewed a little bit but the population yeah yeah yeah the truth holds out they're like let's just say like 3% of the prison population, but they do like 95% of the violence.

Like it's absurd how crazy it's skewed. Yeah. So like... I feel like if whites are achieving at that level, there's some Asian gang doing even better. Oh, we need to kill five more people this week. Yeah, they're just like taking prison sandals and making nunchucks and showing people like,

ah, you thought whites were doing well, but here's the Asian gang once again surpassing us. And they have like interesting alliances where you're like, oh, well, I'm sure it's just every man for themselves, all the gangs. white supremacist gang but they're allied with this black panther gang and this uh ms-13 but they hate this other black gang and this other uh mexican gang like it it's way more political i would guess like because at the end of the day a lot of those people are like running businesses like drugs on the outside and shit like they have real world influence who knows how much yeah they absolutely do yeah um 300 full members with 15 000 associates in and out of prison very interesting that there's only 300 oh they have a list of their allies and their rivals so you might want to know this going in their allies include the mexican The Mexican Mafia. You wouldn't think so. The Sonola Cartel. The Serranos.

The Vegas MC, which I'm sure is Motorcycle Club. The Nazi Low Riders. The Ku Klux Klan. The Aryan Nations. Some of these I could have called. The Dirty White Boys. The American Mafia. The Irish Mob.

And the Juggalos. I'm not liking mob and the Juggalos I'm not liking to see that the Juggalos I'm guessing the Juggalos just get buttfucked in prison This seems like a silly Wikipedia edit, there's no way Juggalos are a prison gang So the reason that they've listed Juggalos there

is definitely a joke because the Juggalos have been declared a gang by the federal government and so they've been protesting against that. The Insane Clown Posse's fans of course known as the Juggalos. They've been classified as a gang and so they've been rallying trying to

remedy that. So I wouldn't count them amongst the actual allies. However, their rivals do include the Black Gorilla Family, the Bloods, the Crips, and the Black Stones. Hmm. Huh. Good to know.

Some of these I did not see coming. Taylor, you had a whole new topic off prison talk. Yeah. It doesn't have to do with prison, but I linked it right there. So there's a story, and, you know, sometimes the intent is right on the money,

but the execution isn't quite there. And so these gay farmers are going to go naked to help raise awareness of mental health, apparently by showing they also are crazy. And the picture of it is two portly older men, one of whom has very hairy arms dealing with whole wheels of cheese wearing nothing more than an apron it's a clear apron and the hair net clear apron and their ass is hanging out in the hair net and they're both like pretty much bald so that's not i'd rather that be somewhere else frankly and like this is like what like that's great you want to raise awareness for mental health.

That's an important, a good cause. But where is the connection here? How does getting naked while preparing food for unsuspecting people who are going to find a pube in their Provel, how is that going to help? I would never go, tonight I'm going to masturbate against Down syndrome. You'd be like, what does that mean? Well, I'm going to masturbate against down syndrome. You'd be like, what does that mean? Well, I'm just, I'm raising awareness.

It means your little cousin can keep a secret. Yeah. I'm going today. I'm going to go. I'm going to go golfing to fight an anorexia. I'd like that one. It doesn't make any sense. You ever had golf balls and stuff.

Look at this picture here of this guy in Australia. He's sitting in one of those combines with a bunch of grain in it, or corn, I can't tell. And he's sitting in it like it's sand at the beach with his naked ass and cock barely covered in what is going to be someone else's loaf of bread. Yeah. That's inappropriate. If I don't see this, I don't go, man, that really is fucked up. We need to help people with autism more. We need to help people with Down Syndrome

more. I see. Get your dirty asshole out of my sandwich. I think you're just being homophobic. Is it because they're gay that you don't like these pictures? Yeah, Taylor Jesus. If anything, the fact that they're gay, well, this doesn't apply to that top two because they are dirty looking.

But that fella in the combine looks like he's probably a little cleaner maybe than the average naked straight man in there. But regardless, I don't want them in there. So you're saying you would rather have that young fellow handling your food than those two older guys? Oh, yeah. Like if I have to eat food prepared by a naked man, I want him to be a clean, not overweight naked man. But you know what? At the end of the day,

I'd prefer no nude people were involved in my cooking. Well, that's not an option. No, it's not. But do you disagree? You'd rather have those two hairy, disgusting, balding fucks up there squeezing wheels of cheese up against their sweaty, hairy chests.

You're coming off as an entitled millennial to me. I like naked, bald, fat dudes making my food. They look like they could cook a loaf of bread to me. Kyle, are you disagreeing at all? I'm just wondering why they're all naked. To fight against mental illness.

Duh. I'm not making the leap there somehow. Somewhere I'm getting lost in all this. I don't know why they're gay. I know why they're gay, but I don't know why they're naked. They're making a calendar, right? That's the whole thing? You can buy a calendar of all these gay people naked with our food?

I fucking hope not. Here's Carl fucking a pumpkin. Wait, what? What's he doing with that gourd? Is there full frontal or are we just seeing what we're seeing here? Which is quite tasteful. It's very tasteful, dude.

Sitting in the trough. I do feel sorry for these guys Like I'm reading his story And I guess Oh I didn't do that I just didn't make fun of it You just looked at the pictures No this guy was gay But he had a wife and three kids

In the dairy industry I don't know why that matters And he carried a lot of guilt Oh he left her He carry a lot of guilt after and even before the 35 years before you know something's not quite right in your head but you can't quite work it out and you're not quite game to go and work through it with anybody we've had our fair shares of ups and downs in the agricultural industry it's a tough gig i really don't see how dairy farming or agriculture plays into this at all. But man, that sucks.

Yeah, that is sad. But I don't see how getting naked or rubbing your naked body up against food items is, if anything, it's going to give people a bad opinion of farmers. Where it's like, oh, farmers? Yeah, those are the ones who are rubbing their cock up against the cows before they slaughter them. I feel like Australians won't give a fuck about this stunt. They're just like, yeah. They're maybe Swedish in this scenario. Yeah, we Australians don't mind at all people sitting in a grain cart taking bread for us.

We have a strong culture here in Australia. Same thing as a Queb. And then if I wanted to do Queb's accent, I couldn't. It would sound Australian. You're like, I am Quebocole. I can love the Netherlands. Fantastic place.

I feel like the Australians are a little more traditional than we are maybe maybe a bit more conservative even than we are i hadn't really i know somehow they're both more conservative and party more at the same time like i feel like they give fewer fucks but would be less tolerant at once i don't i can't put it together but i hear you at once. I can't put it together, but I hear you. Well, I don't care about any of those gay farmers.

I hope they do well in whatever it was they were trying to do. That's odd. Helping people with mental illness by being naked in food. Yeah, you still haven't made that link for me, how that actually helps anything. You're just closed-minded.

I'm not making the connection. I'm not sure how the nakedness is aiding anyone with mental illness. If anything, they see that, and they're like, I am going crazy. Milk and the cow's naked. Well, anyway. That was my gay farmer topic.

Yeah, I like the gay farmer topic. I don't know why they had to be gay, too. Like, I'm fine with them being gay naked farmers, but just pick one, right? Yeah, that's two descriptors. You could have just gone with naked farmers. That's the more shocking thing. Honestly, it is. I didn't even consider it, but why are there so many gay farmers

concentrated in this one area to the point where they can all be like, hey, you want to make a calendar together? And there's like enough of them around to get that done. It's the Roundup. There's Roundup in their farms, and it's turning the farmers gay. They're using way too much Roundup. Makes them want asshole. You can't get it because it's not appropriate in your conservative farmer environment.

You turn to things like corn cobs, food items, people. Carved cheese. That's what that man's about to do. If you look at the other side of that cheese wheel, there is a large cylindrical chunk cut out of it. They won't show you that angle. They won't show you that angle.

We've got it here on inputwars.com slash nudefarmers in your food i watched alex jones online feud with ben shapiro and i didn't see that oh it was they were making back and forth videos where alex ben shapiro would make criticism of alex jones and and like know, the things that he would say or do or what have you. And then he would go back and be like, you know, Oh yeah, I know who pays like a big networking funding. You think I didn't know about that?

You think I won't call your masters at Cisco. And, uh, and I was just like, I don't know, Alex Jones, it was so full of bullshit. His retorts weren't,

weren't sinking in with me. And I mean, that's how rare. You know, this guy's points aren't very salient. I'm sure most of the conservatives on my Facebook feed aren't saying anything. But the ones that are saying things are wrong. So it's become my new hobby to debunk conservative bullshit. And yeah, I need to fix my paramotor.

I need a better hobby. If you spend too much time on any social media site, you start to believe that reality is like a reflection of that site. Where like if you just sat on Twitter all day and refreshed and you follow like lots of political Twitter accounts or like cultural twitter accounts like of course they only report on the most insane shit because they want to get clicks and so if you like inculcate yourself in that or on facebook just as much probably even more so on facebook

like you just start to believe the world's gone topsy-turvy and then you like talk to normal people and most people are not like this yeah in my world everyone's normal in my online world and it's it's really just the republicans in my online world maybe that most of my online friends are paramotor pilots i just accept strangers friend requests if there's like a paramotor in their profile picture and uh so so that's like whatever like usually they'll be like you have 49 mutual friends and there he is is with a helmet. And I'm like, all right. Someone's about to get hammered with invites.

You're one of us. It's a lot of work to first of all get yourself in flight on a paramotor and then get like 30 mutual friends. But that would do it if you want to get it. And then you'll see nothing interesting. Yeah. But anyway, yeah, in my online world they're just believing crazy silliness flag burning and kneeling and things that aren't happening so it frustrates me at the very least things that like they'll take one incidence of

something and be like it's an epidemic like it's all over! The things I'm talking about in particular, Seattle Seahawks burning a flag in their locker room. It's a Photoshop. They didn't actually do that. They were just dancing because they won a game. They were happy. And the Philadelphia Eagles kneeling. I need to see this Photoshop. It shows them dancing around a burning flag in the locker room.

I think one guy's holding it. I could probably find it. And then the other one is the Philadelphia Eagles kneeling. It was a big popular thing when they didn't want to go to the White House. But they were actually kneeling in prayer before a game. It wasn't what they made it out to be. Oh, yeah. I see him burning the flag here.

Wow. What a terrible person. Oh, this doesn't look real at all. This looks like a meme. I mean, look. You're telling me that they would not ignite a full-sized american flag in their locker room but what frustrates me is there so this is the the picture that people are watching and this is the actual picture where he's just excited about something

yeah yeah yeah he's literally dancing about a victory i had that right such an obvious yeah he's just fired up. Dude. What I like, there's no crowd, I don't think, that you could burn a flag in, especially a mixed crowd like that, a team, which is taken from all walks of life, where everyone in the picture is like, yeah! Like, clearly everybody's hyped about a win. There's no way that old white guy on the back is that fired up about seeing old Glory burn. There's just no way. But everybody in the picture is just like, fuck yeah, this is what

we're here for. I don't even want to play anymore. Let's just burn flags. But there are people in my Facebook feed who unironically post that. There's one who posted a picture of a young Nazi and said it was George Soros. And as usual, I

find it out. I find out who that person actually was. The fact that George Soros. And as usual, I find it out. I find out who that person actually was. The fact that George Soros was like 12 or 14 years old at the time. He's 14! In the Hitler Youth. But it's not like that was the Boy Scouts where he opted to sign up, I don't think. It was no big deal.

He just rode around with his uncle while they repossessed Jewish properties. You know, it's no big deal. Yeah, there's actually some truth to that. If I looked at the article right. Yeah. Well, the thing is, it was like one time, and Kyle made it out to be multiple times. And he was a young kid, and it was not by choice.

Yeah. You haven't figured out by 14 that confiscating Jewish property. He was posing as a non-Jewish person. And these are the things that he did to be convincing. That's the situation he was in in Nazi Germany. Doesn't that make him worse, though? Doesn't that make him a worse person? It does make him...

I think if Harley were here and gave his never again type of speech, he would have expected a little more bravery. But I don't know if he would have demanded it from a 14 year old maybe he would i'm not sure but um certainly i think you can give a 14 year old a break i can see that point of view for sure and uh kyle doesn't anyway but they post a picture of a nazi and say it was him and it wasn't it's not that not that guy and uh yeah they're just, there are people in my Facebook world who have a very low standard for news when they want to believe it. Yeah.

Yeah. There's a lot of people out there like that where you just, are there, are, and they're doing it on ironically for sure. Because like I share photos like that all the time, like jokingly, you know,

what kind of laugh at how silly they are. Uh, yeah, I think so. And they cheer each other along. You're like, yeah, fucking Dems want this and that, you know what kind of laugh at how silly they are uh yeah i think so and they cheer each other along you're like yeah fucking dems want this and that you know as they reply to it and um fucking dems yeah that i let that go you know like dems and the reps god damn they're and then you probably have like one like uberremist, a central centrist extremist, who's like,

they're all coming for us! Someone like that. I love a centrist extremist. Dems and Reps, you guys act like there are two sides. No, it's one side of the same coin. And we don't know who the other side is. Lizardmen? I don't know.

Watch this Alex Jones clip. There could be Lizardmen. Oh, sorry. You what? There could be Lizardmen, sorry There could be lizard men Yeah, they're my favorite faction in Total War Warhammer Taylor accurately debunked that It was like, where's their food source?

There's no sunlight What are they doing down there? I was like, no, not subterranean lizard folk I mean some sort of overlords Who exist within our society They've placed themselves In high-ranking levels of society, and they're some sort of shape-shifters, or they have some sort of

cloaking technology to hide the fact that they are really some sort of otherworldly reptilian beings. But if you have cloaking technology and all this shit, wouldn't you just conquer us? I feel like they kind of have, right? If they just plug themselves right into our system, they kind of already won, right? And they keep all the infrastructure and all the slave labor in place.

I forget. I'm going to misquote the guy. But it's like just because something could be true or not be true and you can't prove either doesn't put them on an equal footing. Oh, it does. Lizardmen. I'm 50-50 on these Lizardmen. Like, God as a construct and Lizardmen are both

unfalsifiable hypotheses. Like, you can't prove it wrong, objectively, but, like, I think God is a little more likely, or something, call him God, call him whatever, like, some a little more likely or something call him god call him whatever like some starting being or entity or something is more plausible than lizard men who came here to like assassinate presidents and then immediately assume their form and this is the some for some reason allow like the two sides to keep battling instead of being like they live taylor you're too young

for it to be popular during your lifetime. No, I haven't seen They Live. You need to see They Live. It's John Carpenter and the wonderful rowdy Roddy Piper in his acting debut. Does an excellent job.

He does, actually. Well, I was young when I saw it, but I remember him being actually a good actor. You? Great fight scene. It's always listed in one of the greatest fight scenes of all time, when he and the black guy fight over wearing the sunglasses in the alley.

I thought Roddy Piper did an amazing job in that movie. He plays like this down on his luck, every man, simple blue-collared fella who just wants a job to work, but he's in this post-modern world where all the jobs are tech and he's like living kind of like a bum and then he he gets the the glasses that allow him to see through all of the uh the alien um mind warping stuff and sees that that money really says like obey on it and like all the advertisements say things like reproduce like and and buy a house and stuff like that and and and some people are actual like reptilian aliens and only he can see stuff like that. And some people are actual reptilian aliens

and only he can see them. So that's where you get that scene of where he walks into the bank with a 12 gauge. He's like, I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum. And then he just starts wasting bank tellers. It's pretty great. Because he knows they're all lizard people?

He can see that they are indeed lizard people. he wears the special glasses you can see who's who and i think he goes in there and he's like fuck you fuck you fuck you're an ugly bitch you're okay and then he goes the next guy all the lizard people realize he can see the score yeah so they're out to get interesting it's called they Live. It's actually a fun movie. And to complete the sentence, it's They Live, We Sleep. Because the idea is that we're basically been enslaved without ever having to fire a shot.

They've sort of taken over. Yeah, he puts on the glasses and then suddenly he can see the truth. That's really interesting. I'm going to check this out. Yeah, I think it's on YouTube in its entirety. It probably is. It's really interesting. I'm going to check this out. Yeah, I think it's on YouTube in its entirety. It probably is. It's from 88. Here's a headline.

Guys who say God sends natural disasters to punish gays has his home destroyed in a natural disaster. Well, even God's wrong once in a while. I don't think that's how God works. In his head it is now, probably. Or, who knows.

You just know people like that rationalize it somehow. The Lord's coming to teach me humility. Some shit. Tony Perkins, I think I've heard that name before. I've been keeping a gay captive in my basement for three years now trying to correct him.

The Lord found him, though. Destroyed my entire house to get to one homosexual. And now that you can understand the Lord's fiery hatred for this abominable behavior, let us all join hands and burn across. Burn across.

Yeah, that's very silly. Who was it? Didn't Pat Robertson that haiti was because of sin or godlessness or paganism something like that like when they got smashed yeah they're always doing that that's always good stuff um it seems like you could you know run that con game without being hateful right like i'm fine with the ones who just take advantage of terminally ill people and milk their money out of them. But the people that inspire hatred, that just seems like a step too far.

Yeah. Maybe one step too far, yeah. At least one. Yeah, those people are all just horrible, horrible people. For me, honestly, it's especially the ones who take advantage of the terminally ill people one at least one yeah those people are all just horrible horrible people late late like for me honestly it's especially the ones who take advantage of the terminally ill people because i've seen that firsthand and that's that's not cool but secondly like the ones who are always inspiring hatred they're talking about oh we got to keep the jew out of this and we got to keep the

homosexual out of that it's like come on it's ridiculous it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. I remember there was this black preacher in Atlanta. I don't remember his name, but all the black people seem to know his name. I think he was on some black TV channel on Sunday afternoon, so they all knew him. Oh, they're like, it's Pastor Murphy. Oh, shit. That's Pastor Murphy's truck. And I start looking at Pastor Murphy's truck because he's trading it in and it's a hummer with like alligator dash it's got an alligator skin dash like everything

on the inside is some sort of exotic animal that he said he's had put in there like like the it's it's alligator and ostrich for the seats and he's got big rims on this thing and like a huge sound system and i'm like that's the preacher's truck that's that's the preacher's truck i'm like what do you have here uh so this is great roblox is a game kind of like minecraft where you can build and shit in an open world like i don't i hadn't heard about it until a couple days ago and apparently they don't have split servers but there's like 60 million people playing this game. And so like adults, kids are all on the same server. And this mom says that her seven-year-old daughter's character was just, you know, she was on her iPad, little girl, playing the game. And then two male avatars and a female avatar proceeded to come over and pin the seven-year-old girl's character down and gang rape her.

As like a troll. Why didn't they build that into daisy they really should have i'm sure there's the sodomy mod i love it they add that back in dude if that was built like daisy that would be the goal of the game that people would be playing daisy in an effort to gang-rape people. That would be the end state. Do you guys remember, I don't know, 15 years ago, when the way you trolled someone on the internet was you pulled up an Arnold Schwarzenegger soundbar page, and you called someone on the phone,

and they'd be like, who is this? And you'd be like, yeah, you know who it is. They'd be like, no, I'm afraid I don't. I'm going to find you. Like that kind of shit. Like that was fun. Not simulating rape on little girls' characters. A cursory search through YouTube shows the site is rife with gaming streamers

who use their Roblox characters to rape others in the game. They have titles like, The Time I Was Raped in Roblox, I Was Raped in Roblox, Roblox Raping Girl in Joy And How to Play Roblox Raping Game Well, now we know what to search for I'm on YouTube now I'm looking up Roblox Rapesite

Hi Yeah, this guy's getting molested Oh no, but he's saying Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes Feels so this guy's getting molested. I'll be... Oh, no, but he's saying, oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, yes. Feels so good. It's not rape if she's willing. You can't rape the willing. That's the cliche.

Here, here's one. I don't know what... One of them looks like a human character in a fedora, and the other one looks like Grimace from the McDonald's cast. I want to hear exactly how Legitimate Rays is going to phrase this in a way that doesn't get the video like stricken we'll see i the time i was raped in roblox i liked it though yeah you don't need to wait you can just play this it's silliness oh they're they're raping her good

at the top you just saw that are you watching a video? I'm watching a different video. Oh, link the one that you have. The one I have. There seems to be a lot of violence in this. Is this like adult Minecraft? I don't know what this is. They seem to have guns. That's not rape, though.

He's saying, oh yeah, yeah, uh, yes. Yeah, that's why I wanted the good one from Kyle. Well, it seemed like they killed her, and then they teabagged her a little, and that was it. You can kill people's characters in this game? Yeah. Huh. Yeah, there seems to be guns and melee weapons. I don't know what the fuck this is.

It looks like a bootleg Grand Theft Auto mixed with Minecraft. Why are these children playing it? Why is your tip gray? What? That's not sexy talk. See a doctor. Why would his tip be gray? Oh, it is.

This person has a penis. I didn't... Why does this game even have penises? Huh. Yeah, that seems like an oversight. Like when they were making're making it like this is a game for kids right yeah well you think we should remove the penis part no no no people gonna have a lot of fun go to like three minutes in this one uh feminist plays rob roblox yeah did you admit like how come i don't is the audio important or no yeah kyle's uh his posts are coming up higher in our chat you have to go to a couple above oh

well thank you i see is there audio for this kyle or no no? There's music. Oh, okay. I just muted it so we can go. Wow, so this... Stop following me, stupid male. Patriarchy won. I hate to go back into the 80s, but... I'm being harassed, sexistist but she's dressed like a hooker

omg now she's doing the splits on the ground oh no where would i want woman beater gasp now the guy's doing push-ups on her dead body she has guns feminism wins oh my god she killed a guy and she's beating him with a guns. Feminism wins. Oh my god, she killed a guy and she's beating him with a pipe. This reminds me of Club Penguin. They're literally just doing push-ups on her body. Screams. She just types out screams.

I think the push-ups are about to begin. He's dragging her back to that room What time stamp are you at? I'm at 4.05 He catches her again Drags her back to the room She keeps trying to escape I suspect that there's a dude playing her Oh, probably This is just probably a game of cat and mouse Help me, help me I suspect that there's a dude playing her.

Oh, probably. This is just probably a game of, like, cat and mouse. Help me! Help me! Hey, we're in the middle of our own rape! Well, if you're seven, you shouldn't be playing it. That fat cow of a mother of hers should have known that. Yeah. I haven't ever seen a picture of the mother, but I guarantee you she's fat.

I haven't seen her either, honestly, but I'd be willing to take bets. Not a large bet, because I haven't seen her. But a bet. A wing-style $5 bet. Oh, I still owe Kyle. Yeah, I could do that. You know how we were talking about on our on our list of uh people to get rid of uh yes stolen valor i think that was kyle's contribution so uh sasha baron cohen this week uh called sarah palin and uh lied and said he was a wounded veteran and he got in one of his like like outfits that he

does and told her like you can come interview me i'm a very i'm a wounded veteran and so she came and actually did an interview with this wounded veteran and now she is pissed that it turns out that he is like uh stealing valor and and isn't actually a wounded veteran but lyden said he was and i thought that uh that dovetailed nicely with what you were saying that footage i because i know he's making some kind of a new movie that would be hilarious i think it's a it's politically based the new movie it wouldn't wouldn't surprise me as long as it's funny i'll watch it oh if you got an interview with sarah palin that's fucking hilarious god knows what he said you you're allowed to do it the way he did it right like like creative license like he's making a movie right or is that like a definitely you're

not allowed to do things well if you're making a movie i think you should be able to dress up and do it i'm not a fake movie lawyer but it would seem to me that he's cliff hutchinson well i have a friend who is but it would seem to me that like what he did was he impersonated uh a veteran and went out into public and tricked people into making them believe that he was indeed a veteran um uh whereas you know an actor is obviously on a set and everybody on the set knows that that guy's an actor and at no point does he like go to the starbucks down the road and get a discount while he's still in his uniform right or that would still be stealing valor i think he might be a little bit of trouble if they want to fuck with him that's funny though

the stolen valor act of 2013 i didn't know it was that recent. I thought this had been a thing for... It probably has been a thing for a long time. They just re-upped it. Yeah, I don't know. I tend to think that because it was in the context of a big spoof, that it's not the same. It's not like he's trying to up himself. He's going to make a movie where he tells everyone that I'm not, you know, this is how I tricked her.

I don't know if that's relevant, though. The Supreme Court ruled the arrest and prosecution of a citizen for wearing unearned military awards who did so without criminal intent violates their constitutional right to free speech. So I guess you could do that as long as you're not doing so with criminal intent is there anything criminal but but is there anything criminal about what he did like i don't know like sarah palin's just a citizen now i suppose right you can really do whatever you want to her yeah he's a i mean he's a big hollywood guy it's not like he didn't have his attorneys take a glance at this idea first first i don't know i don't know but he seems like the kind of guy who just does the thing maybe he's hilarious uh borat was like doubled over laughing funny uh bruno not not that great uh what was the other? The Ali G interviews.

Those were very, very hit or miss, but the couple that are hit, I don't recall which ones, were hysterical. I wonder why he doesn't do shit. You're not a veterinarian. No, I'm a veteran. So you take care of the animals. Yes.

No, I'm fighting a war against the animals yes it's going back and forth yeah i love the borat stuff that was the funniest movie i thought i'd ever seen at that point in my life late like it starts off with the running of the jew right you know and everybody's villager chasing those jew eggs and they're like crush the jew eggs before it hatches we're just dying in the fucking theater yeah i really love that the whole uh when he's in that bar singing like throws a jew down the well and everybody's like throw the jew down like repeating it and hearing it that's one of the funniest songs

ever because like it's you can almost tell that he like wrote it to be so outrageous that even he is surprised that just because he wrote a little catchy song and he's foreign, people are like, I'll repeat it. Yeah, he had no time getting a sing-along going to throw the Jew down the well in that Texas bar, which normally you would think people back off a little bit on, but they hopped right on it.

They loved it. Everybody's drinking, having a good old time. Some of his interviews are so awkward. There was one with a turtle or something. I wish I could remember them all. I've seen all of them. I watched all of the Ali G show, and I watched, of course, the movie. And there's a lot of extended scenes from the movie.

But I'm looking forward to him doing a new thing. I think he's just got to wait a certain amount of time so people forget who he is. Yeah. What does he do in the meantime? Like, what's his thing? Do you know? He's made a few movies. He made one where The Dictator.

Did you see The Dictator? The Dictator was not as funny as Borat, but way funnier than Bruno. Yeah, I agree. Let's see what he's been up to. Sasha Baron Cohen. It's funny because he's been up to Sasha Baron Cohen it's funny because he is Jewish yes

yes he's one of those I guess he probably does like writing and shit when he's not he's not pretending to be people yeah he's very good at it he is very funny dude he's only 46 i thought he'd be older i liked uh i like when they when they're able to get those interviews with celebrities though like there's there's a guy that from the howard stern show called sour shoes who's this uh autistic caller who can, like, on command play and sing any

song on a piano, and he can do these wildly impressive impressions of, like, specific people. Like, he does Gary Delabate's impression, and, like, they have him call Gary's wife and pretend to be him and stuff like that. She can barely tell the difference, so it's...

They had him call... I take and pretend to be him and stuff like that. She can barely tell the difference. They had him call. I take that back. He called on his own Hillary Clinton and pretended to be some senator and I guess had some crazy long conversation with Hillary Clinton and then the Secret Service came and threatened him. Oh, and then the other day, who was the other comedian? Oh, who got on the phone with Donald Trump. Did you see that?

Oh, that was like a radio guy. I don't remember his name. Trump Jr. or was it Trump? I think it was Trump Jr. he got on the phone with Donald Trump? Did you see that? Oh, that was like a radio guy. It might have been Trump Jr. I think it was Trump Jr. It was Donald Trump, our president. He got on the phone with him. He's speaking to him as a senator and he's talking about policy stuff. He's like,

what can I go back to my constituents and tell them about this issue? Because they're a little riled up about this whole thing. I thought it was pretty... It's a little riled up about this this whole thing and i thought it was pretty it's it's a little worrying that he was able to get a hold of trump however trump conducted himself well i feel like it was stuttering john i was stuttering john yep does he still stutter like he once did uh i'm not sure i'm not sure i i'm not sure that the stuttering thing was ever even real because i see him like for long periods of time when he needs to get something out, get it out just fine.

He wasn't stuttering on the phone with Donald Trump. I hadn't even heard of Stuttering John until this little story came up. He worked on the Howard Stern Show for a number of years and then the Tonight Show, I think. And now I guess he's got a podcast of some kind. Very funny guy he used to go and do these on-site interviews for Stern like really terrible questions like he would just stick a camera

or a microphone and a camera in a celebrity's face at some function and ask him like horrible questions like what ah would you joke on a girl when she's on her period just like or like their current drug abuse Would you joke on a girl when she's on her period? Just like...

Or like their current drug abuse. You still snorting coke? Just really... And they would ramp up. He might have three questions, and the first question is something disgusting, and the second question is something embarrassing. And the third might just get him punched in the face.

It was always fun. Sounds entertaining. But yeah, he got on the fucking phone with donald trump uh uh pretending to be a senator or something like that and had a i don't like a three minute phone conversation with him and trump all the while is telling him yeah you know we're gonna take care of you we're gonna support you on this issue we're gonna get it done we're gonna solve it you know i i think it should be up to the states etc etc and and had a full conversation with this guy. Yeah, you always want to believe there's super intense security and whatnot, but then some dude just stumbles his way in.

I wonder how often that stuff has happened that we haven't even heard about it. You would hope not a lot. You would hope not a lot. Yeah. Yeah. And it also, a lot. Yeah. Yeah. And it also, eh, never mind. I was going to say it seems like the thing Trump might attract more of, but no. I'm sure there are plenty of people trying to prank Obama and W and it goes through all of them.

Yeah. Probably so. Clinton, right? Who doesn't fuck with him? Well, I would love to hear that phone call of them talking to Hillary Clinton on the phone. I wish that was released. You can drop the charade. It's just me and you now, baby. Patreon question.

If a girl sends you nudes during your relationship, should those be deleted once said relationship is over? Oh, so his girlfriend sent him nudes and then they break up. Yeah. Now, here's Woody, and not necessarily the best version of me, but I think it's my truth. I would not delete precious nudes just because this girl broke up with me. But I could really see myself deleting the nudes out of respect for the next girl. You know, like, you don't want to keep nudes around girl number one when you're with two now i i kind of am on the same page of i probably wouldn't be deleting them the second we broke up and then as soon as i started dating someone else i would get rid of them you know but it's not like

you go back and you look at nudes that girls send you like it's kind of like a one-time thing or maybe some guys go back and look at those nudes over and over and over. I find you don't really do that that much. Am I wrong? I am too old for nudes. Kyle, am I wrong? It wasn't a thing people did. I delete them if I'm asked to delete them.

There's a form. There's a few forms that you file to request a deleture. There's a lot. There's a few forms that you file to request a deletion. There's a lot of bureaucratic red tape in Kyle's deletion process. All right, now just submit the $5,000 processing fee, and I'll get back to you in a year and a half. Go to islefwithfpsrussia.com. There's a form. It's an automated system.

Not a website. don't do that um the uh yeah if someone requests that they be deleted of course they will be deleted but you know what am i gonna do like scour old devices for for any and all titties and expunge them that's not gonna happen yeah and who cares like i wouldn't like if i break up with someone i wouldn't be like hey get rid of those dick someone, I wouldn't be like, hey, get rid of those dick pics. Like, I don't care. Like, who gives a shit? People with small penises.

It doesn't matter. Like, the deed is done. It's been sent. It's not like that person is looking at it that often anyway. Who cares? Also, I feel like nudes don't have the value they did a long time ago, right? In my formative years, you had to buy a magazine to get nudes. And buying a magazine, one, I think you had to be older unless you found some cigar shop with low morals who would sell it to you, hypothetically.

Cigar shop with low morals. That's oddly specific, William. On H Street. bar shop low morals that's oddly specifically on h street and uh um so so that like nudes were just not that easy to come by you know and then like in adult magazines people probably don't even know they're oddly expensive like eight dollars in 1988 dollars is a lot it'd be like a 15 magazine now but um uh nowadays nudes are free and easy. Yeah, but it's not about just a naked girl. It's the naked girl you know, right?

It's not like, please give me some pornography. I have none because pornography is everywhere. It's I want your pornography. That's the ticket. Good point. See, I'm post-nude sending. It's never too late to start. That's true.

You can always snap a pic. Just remember the rules. Don't put your face in it. I should have said, remember the rule. Don't put your face in it. Rule number one, no faces. I realized I made that plural and I'm like, oh, they're waiting for another rule. Rule number two No faces I realize I made that plural And I'm like

Oh they're waiting for another rule Rule number two C1 Yeah just Just one Are there any other rules You'd add Kyle Turns out

No flaccid dick pics I didn't know I thought you sent them On pure potential But I guess It's not a thing Yeah that's That's hilarious

If I can't Flaccid dick She's gonna be like What am I supposed to do with this? You just gonna push rope all night? This isn't appealing She wants to see a nice, hard Veiny cock I always thought sending a hard

The thought process in my head Was that you want to What'd you say? Don't send it to her hard. You don't want to appear over eager. It was like. I could have sex. I have the potential to, but I'm not ready for it or anything.

It was more like. I'm not ready right now. If you send a full hard on pic, somehow in my head, I thought like, well, obviously you're cheating to make it look full size. You know what you. I thought like, well, obviously you're cheating to make it look full size. And somehow I thought you wanted some like semi-erect thing where it was bigger than its actual resting state, but not so much bigger that you couldn't pretend that was its actual resting state. Like that's the – I don't know. I just thought that was the pick you sent.

No. Most – I don't – I because I'm not a woman, but women, I don't believe, they don't see penis, flaccid penises as a sexual thing at all. They see that as, that's for peeing. You know, but when they see a hard dick, it's like, oh, that's not for peeing. That's for having sex.

They're on target with that, by the way. I'm appreciating Kyle's frantic switch between no and that's as he's agreeing with points. Yeah, I didn't know. Which is, I think it's funny. I don't think Snapchat, or I wonder how many

people send like Snapchat filter dick pics where it's like this is my hard cock but it also has a funny mustache. Snapchat tells you if I take a screenshot of your snap? Yes. Wow. It's a snitch.

It's not in your snap. I really, I borderline never use Snapchat. Yeah, so what you got to do is you got to put an airplane mode real quick slide that up screen grab airplane mode back on you're good how long is snapchat wow that's really fucking smart kyle you say you hold on. So as soon as it shows up, airplane mode on, screenshot, airplane mode off. Nice, baby. Have you tested it?

Like, I mean, you could, I'm not saying you did it to someone against the will, but like, like maybe. That's the only way to do it. No, because you could have a partner in crime. Like I could send you a snap and you could say, Woody, does this notify you? I see. No, I have not done it. I am just aware of that being one of the things that people do. I do not use Snapchat.

That's so fucking funny. Just imagine you're frantically in airplane mode. We're like, God, where the hell is it? Now, how long does a Snapchat picture last? Is it like two minutes or two seconds? You can predetermine that. So I decide in my settings how long my snap uh my snaps are going to last for you so it could be as i don't know what the minimum is it

might be two or one second two seconds three seconds but it goes up to like 90 seconds or two minutes or something like that um it goes up fairly high i think mine are all set on like 10 or 15 seconds or something like that i don't use snapchat but it doesn't make sense to me now i might not know what i'm talking about i clearly don't but like there's no like long tail or interest about it it all disappears that's the point self-destruct social media um it it's it's um there's different ways to use it right uh but and i see some people they use it they're followed by like like people who follow them or into their brand or like their you know whatever they're into and so it's a way of making sure that like oh yeah you got you better go watch

the show today because it'll be gone tomorrow so like the content if you is always flowing like that on there of course like i use it to talk to like girls so it's just it's just preferable for that you know it's a way to go yeah it is a good way to talk to girls i've i've never made an actual snapchat i've only like uh or like i've never sent a real snap to go on my story you know oh no never just it to like text like i've never been like having a crazy night with me with a cat face on or whatever the fuck like i'm like who could possibly care yeah i see people do that and i'm like i don't care i don't care like there are people on my snapchat who post like i don't know their day some margaritas they made five o'clock

somewhere he he he it's like you're an alcoholic get out of here i'm not you know nobody's falling for this on your yeah five o'clock somewhere teehee and you're like it's 9 57 in the morning the time zone doesn't even work that way again it's 2 21 it's not five o'clock anywhere there's no time zone it's like 39 minutes away snapchat is like if you follow I don't follow very many people but I follow a couple people who post incessantly and it's like

it makes Facebook and Twitter look not narcissistic by comparison like the banality of the shit people will post like it'll literally be like a sandwich they're eating with like celebrate and like some like sparkly like effects. And it's like, this is just a Reuben.

That sounds good. I said it cause it sounds great right now. I started eating healthy again and fuck Reuben sounds good. Yeah. I didn't have time to eat before we started tonight, and so I've got some brown rice and chicken and vegetables that I'm going to eat after this, which sounds – It's actually Reuben.

Oh, that's brown rice more than I had. Brown rice is good. Yeah. It's great. Rice is the perfect side. You scoop some of it onto whatever bite of meat or whatever bite of whatever you're having have a little rice have a little whatever else you need to check my calorie counter and see how dangerous rice is oh it's just just don't go bananas with it

you'll be fine it's not nearly as caloric and like packed or not as calorie dense as like nuts or seeds yeah my wife asked me today she was shopping she's like should i buy nuts no no no well there's celery cucumber that's what i ate i've been snacking on celery and peanut butter which i know is not great but celery alone like it doesn't solve the problem i bought the saddest snack to eat at the store today. I'm going to grab it real quick because I didn't even get peanut butter. I like tomatoes. I wonder how many calories you're going to get just a raw tomato because I like to slice them up and put salt and pepper on them

and just eat them sometimes. I know you're calories in, calories out, but tomato has a fair amount of sugar content. Yeah, I would imagine so. What do we have here? Lightly salted rice cakes. Lightly salted rice cakes. Lightly salted rice cakes.

Oh, good. 35 calories and no flavor. Except salt. It tastes like styrofoam and no, lightly salted. They don't have just regular salted. I would have gone full salt. After Kyle's advice, I'm not going to cut down needlessly on sodium. Yeah. have gone full salt i after kyle's advice i'm not going to cut down needlessly on sodium yeah but man you do not like when that satiates your snack like kick like you know you're desperate for some good snacks like oh i wanted goldfish so bad today at the store is that your weakness or is it cheese

it's both any kind of cheesy salty snack i'll even eat cheese nips in a pinch oh uh they're not nearly as good they got like a greasy exterior feel i like that i like that if i was to snack on something satisfying right now and i haven't had them in like a decade those ritz bits with the peanut butter rich crackers little things those are solid that that's those are very good oh the little ones oh i like the cheese ones i can eat an entire box of those yeah they have cheese now i didn't even know oh dude i get i can eat a whole box in one sitting and it's like pizza with cheese in the crust it's brand new or another one uh combos like when i'm feeling like

a real fatty i'll get combos like once a year and as i'm halfway through a bag of combos i'm like this is just pretzel with powder in it that's all it is it's just like a powdery paste and a pretzel but you can't stop eating them once you've opened it they're gross don't tempt me it's not my oh they don't actually just every once in a while i'll think about those you know those once in a while snacks you get we're like i like edamame a lot but it's rare that i actually buy it and bring it home like those uh edamame beans that you eat at Japanese places. Like they're hot. You bite them out of there.

I don't know them. They're super good. Huh. Yeah. You don't like those? I don't like them. No, no, no. No good.

No good. I like dips. I do not like miso soup. It gets hot in sour soup. Man. You like hot in sour soup? It's full of mushrooms and garbage. Oh, no. I like that, too. I just like mis sour soup. Man. You like hot and sour soup? It's full of mushrooms and garbage. Oh, no. I like that, too.

I just like miso soup as well. I like all those soups they give you at Japanese places before the meal. And that little salad in the teeny little bowl they give you. I hate that little salad. We're not meshing at all with these things. How about the coconut soup you get at a Thai place? I wanted it extra spicy, though, and I prefer if it had chicken in it.

Never had coconut soup. Yeah, coconut soup from Thai place is delicious. They use a lot of cream in their cooking. I'm sure it's less than 1,000 calories, though. Dude, it's got to be like 600 or 700 calories. It's like eating an ice. It's like a savory ice cream with chicken in it. It's so fucking good.

And it's spicy usually. It's so good. So good. Very good, but not good for you, I suspect. One of my favorite soups, for sure. I like Thai food a lot. Penang curry, some coconut soup. They've usually got some sort of frozen drink.

Kyle, you want to do the last two ads? Yeah. I can do that. Might only be one more. I don't know. Oh, there's Rocket League, and then there's Audible. Hey, friends, listen up. Esports' most exciting game, Rocket League,

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and on the PC with Steam. Rated E for everyone. Check them out. Check them out. Sounds like fun. Chis plays a lot of Rocket League. He's good at it. He says it's a lot of fun. You know, I think when he was beating our asses at it,

I don't know about you, but I was playing with a mouse and keyboard, and I only now realize that that's insane. Because he had an Xbox controller. What? keyboard and i only now realize that that's insane because he had an xbox controller what i didn't know that was better i maybe i'm maybe i'm talking out of my ass here but i'm almost positive he plays with an xbox controller and that i'm almost positive i was on a mouse and keyboard which i believe is seen as real stupid i'm curious about that now and chiz if you listen to this i wouldn't put it past you to hold that from us i believe you would keep that advantage even if we're on

the same team wow wow tell me you don't tell me you don't agree tell me throwing chiz under the rocket league track you just said the same thing with different words Rocket League track. You just said the same thing with different words. Now he's attacking me. Yeah. But it also, to Jesus' credit, I think he has a soccer background. And there's just, he would just be smart about going to where the ball was and you know keeping back and not chasing the ball all game long and you know playing right well this episode of pk is

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my wife loves it she listens to it constantly she even bought the extra like romance novel add-on where she gets like unlimited romance novels for six bucks a month or something she was reading me the categories for romance novels and some of them you are you know what you'd expect like teacher student gay or whatnot and some of them are what you'd expect, like teacher, student, gay, or whatnot. And some of them were like centaur, gargoyle, and things that you wouldn't expect to find. That DeviantArt kind of stuff.

Yeah. Now, have any new kinks appeared that you're participating in now since she went on her tirade with all these romantic audiobooks? Not new things. Leave the paramotor on. Straight up interest is sometimes good.

I forget what I was asking her. I think I wanted lunch or something and I came over and I was like, hey baby, what do you want? And she's like, have you showered yet? And I'm like, no. She's like, you don't look that dirty though. And I'm like no she's like you don't look that dirty though and i'm like oh i'm not and uh yeah so that i really think that's a romance novel i'm certain of it there's no doubt

so good stuff that's good yeah it's a good thing to encourage then make sure she's using our code so she can listen to as much now now at what point do you get jealous like like like i know that you i feel like you're more borderline on this than than some others might be as far as like what point you would start getting jealous what if she's reading the same author only one author and she's she's she's kind of become a fan of this guy who writes dirty stories. I hadn't considered that. I know it's not the case, though.

Until right now. No, I know she's got a bunch of different authors, and most of the authors tend to be women. As a matter of fact, maybe all of them have been women. Would that be better or worse for you if she was stolen away by a woman? Yeah, yeah. And also,'ve thought about like the whole cheating scenario or whatever and i wouldn't want her to cheat on me with a woman but i would find somehow find it less painful like you know like we're not even playing the same game like that's not really

a reflection on me you know that's that's a whole different game that she's playing over there yeah yeah Different sport. I bet, like, the way women write those novels, like, the things they capitalize on are so much different than what men would want. Because, obviously, men are so much more visual. Like, I bet, like, the backstory for, like, the male characters that you, like, are wanting to get with are things like, Andy's a successful doctor, and he drives a reasonable but still expensive car. His 401k has been doing very well. And he wants three children just like you.

And just things like that. I think we have a little insight into what Taylor thinks women think are sexy. Well, clearly there's going to be some little bit of dirty talk. Not a little bit. Probably the vast majority of dirty talk because it is a book. But a man would not be able to write it as well as a woman for women she uh she listens to it all the time and then like i don't know colin will be like creeping up on her sitting next to her on the couch or

something and it's just like oh my god these two things are not in sync like if he knew what was happening in these headphones that'd be I'd be a bad mom. Oh, for a second, I didn't know headphones were part of the equation here. And I'm like, this is weird. Like, you just, like, you know, Colin's just hanging out. She just plays it through the stereo. He grabs her passionately behind her eyes. She puts it through the...

His purple-headed warrior deep, deep within her warmness. Purple-headed warrior? Her warmness? I like it. No, she wears these Bose noise-canceling headphones. It's super easy to sneak up on her. Deep within her pubic thicket. Her pubic thicket. Yes.

That's what women want to hear. Warm and dank with the evening dew. I thought you were saying nasty things, but in that old voice, and yay! She was railed verily from behind, repeatedly, in the stall.

But it was okay, because he's still a successful doctor. It should be less sexy than doctor. It appointment yeah right he said this is the best pussy i've seen this year you gotta modernize it right like he wasn't a doctor like he he was uh what the fuck is it he got into bitcoin in 2011 he was a petroleum engineer so hot dirty so if it but but but if it was if it were the same author every time and she's like oh billy just knows you know what what gets me going i'll tell you what anything billy writes hell anything that comes out of his mouth would Would that bother you? He's on Oprah's mouth.

Gee! No, I wouldn't care. It's not getting me. I wouldn't care either. What if she goes to a book signing and they really hit it off and Billy invites her to a

writer's dinner where some other writers are all getting together to have drinks. It helps a lot that I know five romance novel authors, and it's just not an intimidating scene to me. Yeah, her book club is actually filled with published authors, almost all of them romance novels. Oh, la-dee-da! I don't know if that's normal or not, like who goes to book club, but yeah, that's a thing.

Is it all ladies in the book club? Yeah, all ladies or almost all ladies. Yeah, I thought so. Here's some titles of the most popular erotic novels. Dirty. Willing Victim. titles of the most popular erotic novels. Dirty. Willing Victim. Deep Desires.

Crooked Hearts. Beyond Shame. The Leopard Prince. Theory of Attraction. That's lame. Laid Bare. Pleasure Unbound. Natural Law. These aren't as dirty as I want. Make it dirtier.

I want to ask Jackie if she's read any of these. I'm booting, kind of. Let's see. All right. Have you read any of these books? All right. Dirty? What else are they called give me a list uh i went to a different site there's uh 50 shades of gray i know she bared to you what was that one bared to you Claimed. Ooh. When blood calls. I don't like that. Naked.

Naked? Okay. To have and to master. Uh-huh. Strip you bare. Exposed. I like exposed. Exhibitionist.

Wicked for you. the heat is on break me down the cover of this just ropes against the cage all right we'll see if she's read any of these she said what? I'm noticing that the theme of covers here seems to be ropes flowers and some of the most shredded white guys I've ever seen in my life

on the covers of these books if she says that she's seen listened to Claimed, here, let me link you this steamy cover. An Outlaw series. She hasn't recognized any of them.

Had I typed Fifty Shades, I know she read that. She likes the... You know, whoever's reading this one wants the danger. They want the security of being in his arms, but they want the knowing that he could go off at any second. But she has to be there to help calm him down. She can calm him down like

no other woman could. No one else could tame him. No one else could change him. You're different. Most of her books seem to be period pieces that happen in Victorian era or something like that. Everybody was so filthy. Yeah, not in the books, though. Mind you, the muff,

I haven't showered since last August. People getting buggered and such. Buggered? Yeah. Wow, these are some very... Man, I went to another page. My theory's totally correct again chiseled ripped white guys flowers and uh rope one of them is called why do men have nipples i

don't think that's a sexy book no probably not probably not just skip that one the big book of lesbian horse stories. When these sapphire sisters saddle up, ecstasy is only a hoofbeat away. Tell me it really says that. I didn't make it up. So are these lesbian sisters who fuck each other, who fuck horses, or who fuck male horses, or while riding horses find other people to fuck uh i'm only i've only got the cover here man i don't know it looks like they want to uh probably bang the horse maybe or that they like is this a muslim book what's it called again?

The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories. Oh, many stories. This is a good one. By Chuck Tingle. Pounded in the butt. By my own butt. What does that mean? Glazed by the gay living donuts. These can't be real butt invasion

this is a much gayer page it's on pinterest maybe that means i don't know i don't use pinterest come on do we need a sexually charged excerpts let's see if any of these are really sexy oh this is ranked this is on the ranking it's called lick by kylie scott a stage dive novel here's a short excerpt let's see if it'll get your interest oh god david i arched against him when he moved to my other breast two fingers worked inside me a little uncomfortable but nothing i couldn't handle not so long as he kept his

mouth on me, lavishing my breast with attention. His thumb rubbed around a sweet spot and my eyes rolled back into my head. So close. The strength of what was building was staggering. Mind-blowing. My body was going to be blown to dust. Atoms when this hit. If he stopped, I'd cry. Cry and beg

and maybe kill. I came groaning, every muscle dropped off. It was almost too much. Almost. Ooh. Ooh. That's not bad stuff right there. Where does the horse come in?

This is a different one. They didn't have stuff for horses. Ooh, here's another. Delta of Venus, that doesn't sound good. Night After Night, that doesn't sound good. Do another reading. I know, I'm trying to find. All right, here's this this i'll do night after night because that's the last one on this page night after night by lauren blakey blakely he drove his tongue inside her setting off another

shattering moan that was music to his ears she was quite an instrument to play so finely tuned if he touched her right she made the most glorious sounds. Raw, intense, absolutely delicious noises of pleasure as he plundered her with his tongue. He plundered her. She grabbed his hair, yanked, and pulled him closer as she told him to do. As he told her to do. He thrust one finger inside her, crooking it and hitting her in the spot

that turned her moans into one long, high-pitched orgasm. She shuddered against him, her legs quaking. And when he finally slowed to look up at her, he saw that her hair was a wild tumble and her face was glowing. It's pretty good writing, really. Her hair was a wild tumble? I like it.

I want to find one that's more weird. I can do that on my own. Kyle, when you were selling cars cars what was the pack built into your used cars i don't know what that is what what would your flat commission be on a new car sale and did you offer spins you sold a desk before they hit finance there was no flat commission on new cars that i can recall oh it may have been 50 or something like that like it was almost it was negligible it was like nothing by pack i think he's talking about, like, add-ons built into the price of the car.

Price after commission? I don't know. Yeah, I'm not really familiar with that. And we sold stuff before finance, but it was, like, stuff like permaplate, like paint and fabric coatings or protections, which we didn't even apply. We sold for $600. And little stuff like window etching, like not laser etching, but acid etching the glass. So if your glass was stolen,

I guess it could be tracked back to your car. Also just like, where's the database of etched glass that we're supposedly keeping up with around here? I never understood any of that. It's just the same number on every car. Maybe. I'd be like, can I get the glass etching kit? They paid for it.

And they'd be like, ah, it's like a sticker. And you brush some acid on the top of it, and it burns through. But just where the letters or the numbers are, I never understood what I was even doing. Hmm. Yeah, I one time, I didn't buy it, but I was being sold a car that had the glass etching.

And that salesman really convinced me it was something that I would want. Yeah, we're told to. And I was like, it might have been the VIN that they etched into it in this car. And I'm like, isn't the VIN like on lots of other places on the car? But he's like, ah, but the bad guys, you know,

they know to take it off the motor and the frame they don't know about these windows yeah yeah that's made me buy it but but what kind of car was it that that is a dodge neon exactly this is what this is my point the people who buy a ferrari it's like dude get your glass etched right away right like get everything etched everything needs to be etched but when you buy a dodge neon it's like nobody do you want the door locks they're optional nobody's come on let's be real you're right uh i car sales i can't get over the

he plundered me with his tongue. Plundered you like you're a city in Civ. He just shaved her badly and ruined her crops. Why is there fire? No one will want you now, she said.

No resources are nearby. I've tapped this mine. Oh, it's funny. What else we got? Oh man, we've gone longer than I thought. This has been a fun one. Some guy asked me if I'm going to the EAA show in Oshkosh later this month. Most people probably don't know.

Oshkosh is the biggest air show in the world. Definitely America. And they take this tiny little airport and make it the busiest airport on the planet for a week. It is the ultimate in air shows. And even though I'm into paramotors, I've never been to an air show, and it doesn't sound appealing to me. I might go. I've got lots of friends who are going, and it would be fun in that regard to me. But I like cars, and I don't like car shows.

Walking around in the heat, looking at parked cars. Couldn't agree more. Okay. Well, the air show, they fly them, right? You're not just looking at parked planes they're gonna do like so you're right to be honest the parked planes seem more interesting than the plane than the far away planes to me like i see planes fly all the time and like there they are way up there but you know they do the cool stuff yeah they fly right over

you and do the cool stuff so as if they make a mistake you could be killed there is that level of excitement i'll agree uh i i've never been to an air show and i'm shit talking them i get that and people say no woody you would love it you would love it it's like aviation disney world and it's like ah i'm weird though and i'm different than you i'm not really into aviation i'm just into paramotors like that's my thing like like I'm into sky dirt bikes that's my fun thing and uh and you're showing me sky race cars and sky Cadillacs and sky other things and I'm like ah it's really about sky dirt bikes so uh but I might go I think I have some friends that are going and it might be a good time I definitely have some friends that are going and it might be a good time i

definitely have some friends that are doing an air show there actually i've got a i've got a montage of air show disasters yeah and he says he'd like to meet me there i don't know i could potentially do some sort of meet up there if i went but uh man i don't know i wish there was a local air show i could get a taste. How far away is it? I didn't catch that part. Oshkosh? I want to say it's in Wyoming. Dude, fuck that.

Don't go to Wyoming. No way, man. They're going to have a big one in North Carolina. Hang in there. I'm probably wrong. Wisconsin. You're going to play in Wisconsin. This is bad. You're in north carolina like the home of flight like i guarantee there's a big fucking air show sometime this year

there like do it no don't go to wyoming or excuse me yeah don't take a flight to go look at planes i would probably drive to it together it's i think it's like 11 or 12 hours no don't do that don't do that to yourself. Halfway through it, you're going to be like, there's planes everywhere. I don't know. They're like, no, Woody, it is great. You don't understand.

People even fly their paramotor there. They launch from like three miles away and fly to the site. I'm like, that is a below par flight for me like that how is that cool but maybe it's cool in some way i'm not knowing and by the way it's a 16 hour drive fuck that that's a haul no this sounds like the worst trip ever go to disney world you'll have so much more fun do anything do anything with that land is closer or no disney world is the one in florida yeah you don't Yeah, you don't want to go to Disneyland. I've heard that shitty.

I've only been to Disney World. Ugh. We fucked up one time when we were in L.A. It was the first time I'd ever met... White Boy. White Boy. Yeah. Kitty and I walk into the E3 convention center,

and we just happen upon this group of guys that are walking, and I want to say it was T-Martin, White Boy, and this third character whose name I won't use but i do remember it uh and uh it was the first time we'd ever met these guys any of them so we all like talked for a few minutes and then separated and i think we exchanged numbers some of us and uh kitty and i were walking away and i go which one of them has that bo did you smell that bo and she's like she's like yes which one was that because it's either white boy t martin or this third party has the worst bo imaginable and so and so like that night later on um uh sam x jaws is texting me and he's like hey we all want to go to disney world tomorrow but we don't want to take the guy that stinks and i'm like which one is it and he's like hey we all want to go to disney world tomorrow but we don't want to take

the guy that stinks and i'm like which one is it and he tells me he gives me the name you guys name and it's it's uh it's it's not muzzafuzza it's not uh t martin it's not uh white boy and it's not sam um i'll type it to you guys it was um this guy but um sam sam basically says to me will you text me on my phone and have it say something like so and so can't come along and i'll show him that and you're you so he'll just accept it outright and just won't come and i was like i guess yeah i'll totally be the bad guy if it means not having that smelly guy in a town car with the five of us. He's going to be crammed in there anyway. And we had a wonderful day at Disney World.

Sans, stinky guy. But he was renowned for his smelliness. Everyone knew about it. Everyone who had any contact with him, you'd be like, oh, did you smell the BO? Yes! I have heard this story from other people people and they corroborate it perfectly probably get the word wrong but yeah they back it up it felt mean though like like even still because like we had a wonderful time at disney world like like like and like i'm pretty sure

he was the only one in that hotel room that didn't get to go maybe like he was like like everybody else left and came with me to go to Disney World. Although like leaving Disney World in LA, we were like really bummed out because there weren't many roller coasters. And I looked to my left on the freeway and there's like the, it looks like that video game where you make roller coasters. It looks like roller coaster tycoon over there. And I'm like, what the fuck is that? And the driver's like, oh, that's Six Flags.

We had no idea that there was a six flags and just really wasted our day on a bunch of fucking kiddie rides when we could have ridden some of the biggest roller coasters in the world but we kept that smelly guy out so that's all that mattered that's good you don't want smelly people around you no no because the situation becomes which one of them was the smelly guy right like i i had no idea whether white boy t martin or that third party was the horribly smelly person and i would have never known had i not gotten to know white boy it's just rude to be that smelly like you're not being considerate of people around you yeah like have you ever sat down in a movie theater or a place where you're

gonna be for a while i worked in i smell someone's terrible... You know what? You take it from here. I worked in IT. This is a culture that doesn't believe in deodorant. They think that it's just... I mean, it's natural that people smell. Bam. Deal with it. Guys smell sometimes.

It's like, no, we've solved this. Hundreds of years of technology have gone into antiperspirant and deodorant that it's god i i've heard that's changing in india i've heard that's changing that that deodorant is becoming uh more popular there which you would really hope so but it's going to take so long before it's everyone because it's not everyone here india has a uh a class issue too the difference between their poor and like their middle class is gigantic yeah yeah definitely so thanks thanks england so they used to have that caste system yeah yep yep i wonder how like it so they got rid of the caste system right and it was like formalized that like you

know this many these people weren't allowed to go to these areas it was a segregation it was they got rid of it now in america when they got rid of racism there is a soft racism still is that is working its way away right i feel like it's better all the time i hope i know that people disagree but i feel like you know actual all the time, I hope. You know, people disagree with it. I feel like, you know, actual racism, people who actually believe in it, that's fading. In India, that's more fresh. You know, that's 10 years ago. So I'm guessing.

I wonder if, like, a soft caste system still exists. You know, if your name is, like, I don't know, Srinivas Mohammed or something. If you try to get a loan at a bank and they're like, ah, that's an untouchable name. I wonder. They just see it differently. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't spend very much time thinking about the goings on in India. I have no idea. That's one country. No, that's not true because there's so much history in India. It's so fucking old and ancient. Where is a country that you wouldn't want to visit?

You can't say North Korea. Hmm. I would like to visit North Korea. Yeah, as long as I was totally safe. Yes. I wouldn't want to go fiddling around over there and end up like that guy who came back brain dead. For a small country, North Korea generates a lot of interest in me. Whereas like there are other little countries I probably don't give a shit about.

It's good shrimp and waters. Good shrimp and waters? That's what I hear. You going to get a shrimp boat? Maybe. What kind of shrimp are you going to make? I was thinking some sort of like P. Diddy yacht that could haul in an what kind of shrimp you're gonna make i was thinking some sort of like p-diddy yacht that could haul in an enormous amount of shrimp okay that makes sense kind of

a dual threat watercraft dual try threat because you can coax indian women onto it off the coast or north korean that's where we are now yeah and you know though well if anything they'll be happy to just get on the boat with promises of freedom I will apply them yes and then once you're out there in the ocean the very implication that's dangerous out there anything could happen good to go I think they're gonna feel way safer even with that implication than they would in North Korea a lot more than implication back in North Korea. Yeah, they're going to be like, this guy might rape us.

And they're like, yeah? We got to get out of here. You could pick up women anywhere, take them to North Korea, and that would be the implication. Right? Like, that would be a tool. I swear to God, I will leave you on this beach. Exactly. That's what i'm saying right like hey you've got two options north korea or me it's willing christ oh oh oh oh jesus christ to me

oh what did i do i too am a ghast how dare you that's fun i don't think i'd want to go to one of those you know war-torn How dare you. That's fine. I don't think I'd want to go to one of those war-torn Middle Eastern countries, right? That just seems like a no-brainer. You don't go there. You don't go to Iraq.

You don't go to Syria. You don't want to go to Afghanistan. Here, Syria is nice this time of year. Do you? Do you hear that? From where? Rufus's mutterings out there in the alley? No, he's not nearly cultured enough to know what Syria or where it would be.

Oh, he was in the war. He was in the Syrian war? Great Syrian civil war? He doesn't remember which one it was, but he was there. He was one. The only confirmed hammer kill. They should make an American sniper movie about him black hammer

i was talking about how terrible that movie was the other day that's american sniper such a garbage movie so bad oh kyle are you allowed to say that like you don't you operate in circles where that movie's worshipped? I suppose so. I watched it with a bunch of war veterans one time and everybody was very somber at the end and I was just like, I don't know about all this. Come on, the baby's fake as shit, guys.

Did they get somber from that semen American sniper? No, Nazi Hunter? What the hell's that movie called? Inglourious Bastards. Ingl movie called inglorious bastards yeah and i think the fake movie was called something like that the nazi hunt i forget what was the fake movie called in in glorious pastures you don't know at the end they filmed it oh like the stalin grad sniper thing yeah it was a nation's hero or something like that that wasn't close something like that

yeah yeah yeah just a bad movie like i'm fine with the subject matter i'm fine with chris kyle i just think they did a shitty job clint eastwood made a real bad movie what's a movie that's like based on true events i just did air quotes for those listening that you don't buy one bit that you're like none of this happened the way that they say it does well the titanic for one thing um i don't buy one bit. You're like, none of this happened the way that they say it does. Well, the Titanic, for one thing. I don't know. I don't have a good one off the top of my head. I just figured you've seen every movie,

so you must know. Those World Trade Center movies are kind of distasteful. I feel like when they try to add a bunch of drama that was happening while the towers were going down or something like that, those are always pretty lame.

What's the Michael Moore movie about health care that's uh sicko sicko i found that one to have a lot of half half truce fahrenheit 9-11 had some stuff to bowling bowling for columbine is the same way with the half truths you know when they were trying to make it seem as if every time you open up a bank account at this uh bank you got a fucking rifle and you just walked out of the bank with a rifle and you know that none of that's true i mean it's all like quarter truths and misdirection and camera sneakery he's a very mistaken guy you get a free gun just open up a new checking account like that like if you open a checking account like x amount of money in it you were either either got a gun or you were in a raffle for a gun. But the way it worked, of course, is like they were like, yeah, go down to J&J's armory and they got your – fill out your paperwork and they'll provide you with a gun on us.

But what he does is he's like, well, I want to walk out of the bank with the gun. So can I go get the gun and then come back here in the bank with the gun and then walk out the door with the gun? Like, yeah, I guess. gun and then come back here in the bank with the gun and then walk out the door with the gun like yeah i guess so of course they just film him coming out of the bank with a gun and like as if they just handed him one off the wall as soon as he signed up for a bank account will you grab a gun the security guards like here take mine now you're armed and i'm not yeah he's very misleading which i don't think you know it ruins his points exactly like the one in flint michigan i was the first one that made him famous uh i don't know i'm sure that there are things in all of his movies that are actually true but you stick them next to untruths and now i don't know

what to make of it yep yeah it's like lying and implying and he's just a disgusting person to look at right he was he looks like uh kyle you and i and the dozen people who play total war warhammer 2 with us will get this he looks like lord mazdamundi oh shit he does melted those glowing eyes and that wand on that i was thinking lord the gullet mazdamundi is a is a frog wizard who sits on a levitating throne he's obese he's got that giant michael moore gullet and he's got to a t michael moore looked bad 20 years ago what michael moore has going on now is like like oh my god when did he become a lesbian or something like he's he's awful he's he does he's got the face look of like uh bruce jenner like four months before he came out about it you know where you're like something's something's up like something's amiss looking more and more feminine yeah look at i just looked up michael Moore 2018. These are so bad looking.

Yeah, he just... Just an unpleasant man to look at. It just ties into my thing. There are people on my team. You know what? You can have them. Let's do some trades, right? I'll give you Michael Moore for two Nazis. You're not getting your hands on Ann Coulter. You get the fuck out of here.

She's ours. Yeah, right? Ann Coulter knows how to control her weight. Who's your LeBron James? Is it like Tommy Lauren? What's that chick's name? She's kind of hot. Likes abortion.

She's very attractive. No, no. She hates abortion. But she's like, we shouldn't fight against it. And so many other people are like, wait she hates abortion yet she thinks that we should just back off yeah on social issues yeah yeah that's what I thought that that she was saying I don't really keep track of somehow she was like the government needs to stay out of social issues but I'm trying to remember she was all about

the government in social issues previously. Education? Of course. I bet she's totally fine. Education can be... I mean, that's also a financial thing. But gay marriage or something. Yeah. That's not a financial thing. You could make some case or something, but

not really. If abortion isn't one, then neither is gay marriage. No, I would... we're keeping sean hannity and coulter and um yeah who are you wanting to get rid of though because we're wanting to get rid of michael moore is there anyone who you're like i will yeah i will trade you um so we'll give you half a Chris Christie Oh shit Chris Christie for Michael Moore Is a good one I'd take that Really I'd take that you can have Michael Moore We'll take Chris Christie

You have to throw in a second round pick for 2019 Ah a little criminal I mean I'm sure Michael Moore's got some criminality He's a huge criminal I've seen him in person He's an enormous man Fair point He looks so ridiculous on that stage Sitting in those

khakis and they're just wadded around his groin like you can't tell where ball cock and roll like intermix it's just a big jam of camel leg down there and you can see his silly sock it was the yankees pictures that were the greatest to keep them up did you see like you could push into uh i saw the chris christie's legs the way you could like a memory foam mattress yeah absolutely like when he's he was sitting in the most unflattering chair on that stage in north carolina late like just just legs splayed just belly hanging over everything it was it was not yeah just a real disgusting human being. And he's beaten lap band surgery, I believe, like a couple times.

He didn't just beat it. He demolished it. This is a man. Wow, he's got not bad legs. I guess so, because he works them out every step. Yeah. Wow. Honestly, Chris Christie is a big fat fat person. he's not even as fat as michael moore

yeah i tell you i want this somebody else in not only is he not as fat as michael moore but he's way better looking i really think we upgraded and he's not this isn't a tap this isn't a beauty contest you got a criminal who who abused his power shutting down bridges to rub it in the face of his opponents and those who had wronged him versus a shady propaganda artist. I'm hearing effective politics when you're talking. No more. He's not getting reelected anywhere, right? He's done. He's done.

These dress pants are screaming in agony. But who's the dude that almost got reelected? He almost became mayor of New York, I think. Mayor? Yes. The UN is going to have to intervene on behalf of these dockers that Chris Christie is wearing in this picture. Did you link anything? No.

Oh, no. It's not just one picture. You just type in Chris Christie and you can see these pants. Yeah, that's genocide. The one of him in this. I don't know if you just mentioned this, Kyle. I might have missed it while I was looking up stuff. Him in that NYPD baseball uniform. Yup.

Terrible. He looks good on Saturday Night Live here with Jimmy Fallon. I don't know what he is. What year was that? Doing a dance-off. And look how high those pants are. Look how high those pants are. Those pants are high, but I'm telling you

He's such an upgrade from Michael Moore I got the best of you He can bite his belt buckle I got the best of this trade You keep him Ann Coulter I think she's our ace in the hole I think she's pretty fucking hot

If you want hot We got like two thirds of Hollywood Those people don't count Two thirds? More like I think she's pretty fucking hot. If you want hot, we've got like two-thirds of Hollywood. Oh, those people don't count. Two-thirds? Yeah, no, more like, you know, 19-20ths. Fair enough. I'm doing well here.

We've got like David Spade and Rob Schneider. We've got that prisoner dude from Home Alone. Is he like a Coke dealer or something? Tim Allen. Tim Allen, yeah. who's the is he like a coke dealer or something tim allen tim allen uh yeah wow you really hit the low points of tim allen's 40-year career that coke dealer who had a successful sitcom for a decade and then did lots of movies and then experienced success goddamn coke fiend jesus christ he had some cocaine one time when he was very young right and he's got the mustache that was waiting for uh home improvement he'd barely when he got caught with a blow he was just getting started you know he was the santa claus remember that yeah all

those santa claus movies actually i thought it was worse than it turned out to be. So he had a pound and a half of cocaine, and he had pleaded guilty to drug trafficking charges. They caught him on an airplane. And he was sentenced to three to seven years and possible life. He ended up serving two years and four months. So he was a coke dealer, a pound and a half. I mean, this wasn't recreational. months. So he was a Coke dealer, a pound and a half. I mean, this wasn't recreational.

Maybe he liked to take like a... No, nobody buys a pound and a half of cocaine to be like, this is just for personal use. And puts it on an airplane in Kalamazoo. Yeah. I wanted to do it right when I got off the plane. I put it in my Starbucks. It's a long flight. You need a pound or two um yeah yeah so we've got we got a are the cup with overflows of hot people on the left side as far as celebrities totally true yeah yeah i was thinking more like political operatives not necessarily like like i don't think we can really count beyonce because she does like one thing a year it's like yeah get out there and rock the vote y'all i'm talking about like a like someone who's

like a nicki haley or something i i think she's fucking ambassador to the un like she's a legit political person who's good looking ah she's okay looking she's um good looking memory she's indian she indian or half indian no She's okay looking. Yeah, she's Indian or something. She's not white. Really? You want to bet? No. I'm on her Wikipedia page. It's kind of late. She's older than me and she's held up well. Mara Carfagna? Let's see. Man! Carfagna. Let's see. Man.

This Italian politician, Mara Carfagna. She is an Indian. Indian American Sikh. No wonder she... Jeez. So she doesn't count. Non-white.

jeez so she doesn't count non-white let's look that would go over huh i didn't i didn't notice you said at first because i was looking for this link correct uh she has my vote if i lived in italy i don't know anything she believes oh i know a hot democrat i just did a list of the hot tennis tennis ginsburg it's the new one who's that like democratic socialist who just got elected oh no dude she has crazy eyes does she like you know you know you know when like if when the white of your eyes shows above your uh iris you look like a crazy person like and she has that like that's a real thing notice that now when someone smiles and gives like a smile and you see the top the white of their eyes above the iris they look like they're maniacs what's your name oh you're not supposed to see above the eye the

white part no here uh let me find the um here you go perfect she doesn't do it in this picture though oh not every picture wait no but in quite a few is this the right person mark fonga oh no no that's the italian person i was saying it's genuinely hot she's definitely doing it in this picture good lord This is not what she looks like all the time, though. She's really pretty and she's insane right there. But look at the whites of the eyes. That changes it to crazy.

Crazy communist wants the GOP to fear public libraries? Where did you get this? This could be shopped. I just typed... No, this isn't shopped. I just typed in Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez crazy eyes. And hey, it

came up. Yeah, that's definitely a thing. It doesn't matter if politics or not. Pay attention to that. When you see the whites of the eyes above the iris, you look like a crazy person. Whereas this Italian politician looks just stunning. like a model she she was a former

model and could be one current yeah you would have to offer up somebody really good to take this one off the democratic team i don't know we don't want her hmm well that works then you're gonna have to throw a couple draft picks in. Yeah, there's just no trade going on there. We'll give you the Bush twins. I need to see a current picture. They're chubby. You can keep them. You can keep them.

I think McCain's got a gay daughter or something. No, that's Chaney. Chaney does. You get her too. She's just not really selling it. No, she'd be good on a softball team though. Yeah, how does this competition go down?

Is it a beauty pageant or a football game? It matters. It's a lot of stuff combined. It's an aggregate score. It's going to be fun. There will be a physical competition, of course. There's not very many attractive people

in politics. Not like really attractive, I don't think. You have to be pretty old, it seems. There aren't many people who want to vote for people younger than them. And I think that cuts it off. People tend to vote for people older than themselves. So if you're 25,

good luck getting like a 50 year old to pick you. But every now and then you see that case where like a 17 year old becomes the mayor of his town. Yeah.

Or, or goldfish. Who knows that Malachi ran unopposed. Malachi. I had a fish named Malachi. That's why it popped into my head. My wife and I were going to name our child Malachi I had a fish named Malachi That's why it popped into my head My wife and I were going to name our child Malachi

This is long before we were even married And we wimped out Malachi Yeah there is a character in a movie We both thought the name was cool There's a character in Raising Arizona Called Mordecai He's one of the Horrible children that that guy

Has he's like writing fart on the wall On a crayon Mordecai So what happened to Malachi Children of the corn Malachi was a discus Cause When I'm a goldfish keeper please get on my level I don't keep rookie fish

And he died So I moved I think And they stressed him out it's hard to do Please, get on my level. I don't keep rookie fish. He died. I moved, I think, and they stressed him out. It's hard to do. I'm no amateur fish keeper. Well, where are they? They all died under my watch. Yeah. Probably stress or chemicals. I don't know.

Perhaps I forgot him in the garage on a cold evening. That's what happened to my pet fish when i was little my dad was cleaning the room out forgot him in the garage and he died yeah temperature's a big deal uh for fish they don't have blood they don't maintain their own temperature so you know if you keep it next to the door and their body temp goes up and down five degrees or so. That's fucked. Fish have blood. Well, they don't. Maybe you're right. But little fish,

their temperature is the temperature of the water they're in. That's like a thing. Probably so, yeah. So it's very stressful on them for that to change much and it doesn't happen quickly in nature. They're too dumb to suffer. You're probably right. Sure, I'm probably right. Sure.

I'm deaf. As a general theme, though, I think sometimes I attribute more emotion and at least feeling of pain and suffering to animals that I think sometimes you don't. If fish had vocal cords, I feel like this is a joke. Maybe not. But if fish had vocal cords, you would like this is a joke, but if fish had vocal cords, you would not be as cool with killing them. When you pull them out, and they're just...

What is this world? That's a good point. They told us that the top was that. Oh, there was. The wise ones misled me you guys uh want to call it a show or you want to go through anything else i have an outro to read yes so you can join more than 46 million players in esports most exciting game rocket league download rocket league today and rebel in its uh high powered hybrid of arcade soccer and driving with a deep customization system that can't be missed

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