Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #401

Episode Date: August 31, 2018

On this week's PKA, this week we're graced to have Arian Foster back on the show where he opens up about his first ever panic attack & some other injury stories from his NFL days, Kyle relates and goes into a story about being bullied back in school and Taylor shares with us the "PKA Ho of the week" and her terrible Tinder experiment. 

Thank you. mystery unlike anything you've ever heard before in The Quiet Man, an all-new immersive story experience that blurs the line between game and film. It's available now on Steam. And if you've seen Jeff Ross's, Jeff Ross presents Roast Battle on Comedy Central and thought that those comedians were too mean, you ain't heard nothing yet. Join Brian Moses and DJ Coach T for Roast Battle, the podcast, as they give an in-depth look at the hit international TV series, as well as weekly live shows and interviews from the world-famous comedy store in Hollywood, California. You'll hear some insensitive jokes. You'll hear some politically incorrect jokes.

But every joke you'll hear comes from a place of love. Listen to the Roast Battle podcast for all the behind-the-scenes action every Wednesday in your podcast feed. But, of course, we have Arian Foster back with us, former NFL running back Arian Foster, a.k.a. Bobby Fino, who back in April, of course, released his debut rap album,

Flamingo and Koval. And I gotta say, man, it was pretty clear listening to this thing that you were a philosophy major because there's a lot of cool stuff in there. And it's not just heavy, hard beats that I'm kind of accustomed to with hip-hop and rap. There's a lot of jazz accompaniment and stuff like that. I like it a lot.

I appreciate it. I appreciate that. Well, first of all, hello, gentlemen. It's great to be back, man. Good to have you. I appreciate it, man. That's kind of always been my flavor of music. I enjoy instrumentation.

I enjoy chords and melodies and progressions, things of that nature. So I had to implement that in my little slice of this art. Yeah, a lot of it was more mellow than I was anticipating. Like, I feel like I could listen to that when I'm reading or just like relaxation music, which I really like. But do you ever also get that feeling when like someone who's really, really good at something, like, I don't know, in the NFL, and then it turns out they're also really, really good at something else. Part of you is like, God damn it. I'm not good at either of those things. I heard that. I heard that before, man. But what do you want me to do? I mean, if it makes you feel any better, Taylor,

he's also a track star and an actor. Oh, there you go. You've got to diversify your life portfolio, man. And capable of killing a wolf with his bare hands. This man has it all. Well, you're right about four of those five things. Oh, yeah, we disagreed last time, I remember. I was on your team with that.

They think I can't beat a bird. A bird? Right? A bird would fuck you up. A big bird. A bird would scratch me prior to its death. It'd gouge you. A bird?

All right, we've done enough animal fights with Arian. I got you so uh last time we talked to you you were kind of just kicking off the podcast and everything how's it been going are you is it kind of folding together the way you thought it is man uh so we average any round for like 50 to 100 000 listeners episode which is way more that's pretty dope man we're we're going pretty fast i think we're on episode 39 we just released one uh on tuesday with uh terry crew and so that's that was my that was my um my acting father he was my father in in the movie draft day and so uh i pulled a favor on it we had a great conversation though but the podcast is it's just so fun because you get to uh you know express your thoughts outwardly you know uh of course people disagree a lot but that's

that's that's the that's the great part is it's really just kind of venting uh outwardly and and getting immediate criticism on your thoughts and it's really i feel like it's sharpening me as a person terry cruz did terry cruz talk about the uh the sexual harassment thing at all or is that it oh i'm gonna have to listen to that episode then i want to hear about that that's really it was really dope man it's i don't i if you want me to spoil that i will but if you don't i won't yeah that's interesting i want to hear so um i mean i even talked about i even i even referenced it because i'm like okay i like i get that you're doing what you're doing, but there has to be a side of you that's aware of the other side of men that would combat that and say, come on, bro. You're a grown man.

You're big as hell. And he was like, he's like, no, I totally understand that side. And his vision is more, not vision, his stance on it is more taking down like a power structure that is sexual empowerment that people hold over people, especially in positions of power. So he's like, okay, so this guy grabs me by my junk in a formal setting in a in a formal setting at a party you know uh i could i could whoop his ass he said of course i could whoop his ass everybody knows i could whoop his ass but okay if i whoop his ass i'm i'm at a hollywood party where does that leave me in my career now some now it's an angry black man that that's it's aggressive again right and the assaulter knows this right that's his that's that's his mindset going and he's like what are you gonna do what are you gonna do and so like all the actors and actresses standing

around are they gonna be like oh yeah i saw the whole thing and i'm taking the side of not the producer or casting director who's gonna get me a job like i want to ensure that i'm blackballed from hollywood 100 and that's that's his thing and so he's kind of he did he drew attention to like the power structure that is sexual harassment and sexual predatory behavior. It's crazy that it was called an open secret in Hollywood for so long and people not in the industry, like when they heard that, kind of like, I'm sure it's a few bad apples, those Polanski types. And then it was just an avalanche that still seems to be going now. Like that whole industry is kind of brought with this thing,

seems to be going now. Like that whole industry is kind of brought with this thing, which is probably a consequence of it being an industry that hinges on, you know, inducting a new wave of young girls every few years or, or young boys, you know, it's always gotta be fresh blood to keep the interest high. I think that happens in any sort of system where there is a lot of risk and reward. There's a lot of people who want into this thing that this thing being Hollywood and there's, there's a few guys who kind of pull the strings and they have the keys to the castle. And they're also probably pedophiles a lot of the time,

pedophiles and perverts and all the like. And I wonder if it happens, what other circles it happens in. Because definitely politics, right? We see that where people in positions of power abuse that and sexually harass people. Did you ever see that in professional sports? Like in the nfl is there ever like someone who's like ah yeah like we could probably get you on with the rams but uh i'm gonna need you to do a little ramming tonight if you know

that's what i was just about to say man you have um you've changed since the last time i saw you but then you come over the last ramming that's hilarious no it's not going to remain this tactful you are still the internet it's a downhill slide for sure I never saw that in the NFL I think it's different because the culture is different in the NFL

the culture is based around masculinity it's based around toughness so that kind of behavior is not like uh rewarded you know what i mean based on like it's not a subjective i guess it is a little subjective but people need to be good right you're not going to see me as the center for the detroit lions everyone's going to be like how'd that dick sucker get get that job you've called it lions everyone's gonna be like how'd that dick sucker get get that job you've called it right 100 yeah i mean you still have to perform so uh not not no pun intended but you have to you have

to perform all right that's good but what about the cheer do you know anything and i don't know what the separation is the cheerleaders because i would imagine just just being a man and all the cheerleaders are super hot. And I got to imagine, I don't know who's making that decision. Who's the casting director for like the Dallas Cowboys cheerleading squad or the Rams or the Eagles or whatever the fuck. But like, I wonder if anything's going on there where they're like, yeah, you can come to every game and jump up and down in your underwear,

but I'm going to need you to do a few things for me. This is kind of, I guess, a hot take from an ex-NFL athlete. There is no reason to have cheerleaders. No, none. None. I don't understand that. Let me ask you this. Two minutes left in the game. You're down by six.

You're on the 30-yard line. You're down by six. All right? You're on the 30-yard line. You're trying to get in there, get this game won. You've lost all hope, though. You're beaten. You're bloody. You're tired. You don't have the gas in the tank.

But then you hear something. Go, go, go. And you look, and there's Tammy. There's Tammy over there with her pom-poms, and she is fucking working it. And you start to believe right you start to you start and you're in your head you hear you hear that song from journey don't stop believing and it did that that never happened pumped up you hit that note man

if you need some accompaniment on your next album just let me know no i really like your music as is. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. Stop cock blocking me. But no, man. Like I said, I don't know. They don't pump anybody. I guess it's for like in the middle.

I mean, I don't know because I've never really sat in on an NFL game in the stands. Is that like a cool thing to see women in their underwear? I don't know. Maybe before the internet. NFL game? But I go to hockey games every now and then. is that like a cool thing to see like women in their underwear i don't i don't know maybe before the internet nfl game but i go to hockey games every now and then and the carolina hurricanes in in hockey they often have to like brush off the ice and you smooth it out or whatever fix it by the goalie or something i'm sure they hate it so uh they come out there with these shovels and such and they're in bikinis oh yeah and i'm just like i i feel inappropriate they're obviously

here as strippers of some sort you know it's cold it's freezing but they are providing a purpose they're scraping the ice like they're getting something done if you like it like you know see my idea arian tell me if you agree i think like having the female cheerleaders total total waste of time nonsense you know what will motivate the players? You know how every once in a while they bring a 91-year-old guy with terminal cancer who's been like a Colts fan his whole life, and they sit him right there? My team's cheerleading section would be like a Benjamin Button kid, a guy with spina bifida, AIDS, cancer, just a litany of terrible things,

all decked to the rafters in it. And they all were talking to the players beforehand about, well, Kyle, not that retarded. They can't be distracted. They have to be tactfully ill, not inappropriately retarded. And they all are on the sidelines. And any time you look over, you go, man, I'm going to win it. I'm going to win it for little timmy and his one remaining hand that he can barely he's a terrible throw but i play with him anyway like see for you no i don't think that

worked but that's a hell of a description you wouldn't look over at that group and feel like you know what i'm doing it for for uh you know liver cancer guy no maybe i mean i wouldn't maybe they could operate the chains right they Maybe they could operate the chains, right? They could operate the chains and they could measure off where the ball was. One guy struggling to operate the chain as he's wheeling forward, you know, dropping it. No, the hot girls. Hot girls operate the chain. Because I feel like that's sort of analogous to the hot girls in hockey who come out and scrape the ice.

And, by the way, I like that because, A, it's cold as fuck down there on the ice, I would imagine. I mean, it was cold in my seats. So, like, you know, they got some pokey nipples down there. They're already hot chicks who can skate, which I admire in a lady. They've usually got a really nice physique. And they're wearing bikinis. And they're down there with, you know, and they're cleaning,

which is my biggest turn on. Is this your turn on? Yeah, I see them out there, that shovel scraping up some ice, and that gets me going. I guess that's what I don't understand about cheerleaders. Like, in today's society where, like, femininity is at an all-time high and feminism is, like, where people, yeah, like, why would you be okay

with masquerading around in bikinis when you're not really providing any kind of service? It's just you're more just for show. Why is that okay? I think the answer is that feminists get to have their cake and eat it too, and as much of it as they want, because big is beautiful. Well, there are no big cheerleaders though.

That's a problem. That's the next move, I think. I want transsexual cheerleaders. I want big cheerleaders, though. That's a problem. That's the next move, I think. Like, I want transsexual cheerleaders. I want obese cheerleaders. I want handicapped cheerleaders. The trifecta. I'll come to the games just for that. I like football, but, like, you put out a freak squad out there, I'm coming for that.

This is actually topical. One of the most recent cheerleading moves in the NFL I saw was they added a man. Oh, I did see that. I did see that. All right, so is the man just doing what everyone else does? Because I like this, and I love college football. That's probably my favorite sport to watch, I would think, maybe aside from MMA. I'm a big Georgia fan.

I've lived really close to Athens. I fucking lost to Alabama last year. And it's really marked a downturn in my life after Georgia lost. In fairness to Georgia, they only lost because they weren't as good. That's exactly true. That's exactly true. And they were definitely not as good. Like, don't take solace in the fact that you think it might be close because it wasn't.

But look, I would love to be a male cheerleader in collegiate football. A, I guarantee they're getting so much ass, right? B, even if they- You don't think they're fucking the players who are making like millions and millions and they get like way more show? They don't get paid in college. They don't get paid in college.

Nobody's getting paid. Oh, I thought you were, I didn't know you were talking about college. My bad. Student athletes. Student athletes. And so, I mean, you're grabbing ass just by the nature of your job.

Those guys are usually jacked. Like, not the physique maybe that you'd see of a football player, but more of a gymnast-type physique. They're jacked because they're pressing women all day, which is my preferred workout, right? Like, fuck plates. Like, if you can bench a blonde, that's the way to get in shape. And think about it. Your stabilizing muscles are going to get way stronger. Because if you ever tried to like,

if you try and bench like 110 pound weight, it's not hard. But if you try and do that to 110 pound woman, it's just fat and bones and stuff like all over the place. It's so hard to bench a woman. You got to get the proper grip. They're not good at staying straight. You know, they're like fish.

You know, you're, yeah, it's a very difficult workout. difficult work bowling ball and especially if they didn't agree to you doing it like then they're resisting and mac made it look easy in the always sunny promo he just grabbed her by the by the clam and hoisted her yeah like bench pressing a woman um who's like 120 pounds is really fucking difficult it's really hard or at least it always has been for me I've tried it a couple times and it was always just a it was more about getting to grab

her ass a little bit and have a little fun because like we weren't going to be doing this for reps this is going to be it's a difficult workout it is yeah like I don't mean to interrupt the show but I have to. Do the players get in the way of the chains? I used to work the chain, called it the chain gang. And the players would be in the damn sidewalks all the time.

We were almost bullied trying to work the chains with their fucking football game, bunch of assholes. Does that happen at the higher levels? Yeah, absolutely. Well, it can happen. but i think there's a little bit more professionalism in the league um especially because you get like sign line warnings and you get you get flagged for a penalty if you if there's if they're too close so they make you stay behind this line but like sometimes during the game i can see how that happens man for sure i wanted to go back a little bit to the album that you released.

I understand that that was under LeBron James' music label? No, no, no. So what happened was, no, no. I mean, I see where you saw that. So in the rollout, so this is a long, short story I'm going to tell. I had to get a sample on one of the songs. It was called A Friend to Fan a Kid. It's a really dope song. It's a video on my YouTube channel.

On one of the songs, I had to get a Jay-Z sample clear. I guess Jay-Z's team heard it and they wanted to work with us. We had been filming the whole process and we had been working with Uninterrupted, is lebron james's uh i guess entity and so we we kind of have been filming it and so they bought that footage and title wanted to buy it from them so they ended up working together so we wrote out with uninterrupted and title so i got you yeah okay yeah. I was reading up on the album a little bit

and I saw that and I was like, fuck, did he get to meet LeBron? Did you get, you ever met that guy? Yeah, I met him. I met him. Cool cat. Cool cat.

Yeah. Did you ask him how much he paid to get his hair fixed? I didn't ask him that. But that is, that's one of the greatest comebacks in sports history. That is the greatest comeback

in sports history. LeBron James. LeBron James. LeBron James. Yeah. Shout out to him, though. I don't even watch basketball, but wasn't there, like, a few years where that headband, like, kept creeping, like, back, back, back, until it eventually looked like a Friar Tuck look? Like, just right around the top.

Elon Musk has nothing on LeBron James when it comes to hair restoration. Like, it's fucking impressive. You look at the before and after, and it was like, oh, shit, it's fucking impressive you look at the before and after and it was like oh shit it's it's going and like you know it that kind of hair loss doesn't look good on anybody but like for like prime specimen peak fucking athlete best at your sport perhaps ever and it's not a good look it's not a good look maybe you don't get that endorsement you want but but what he did something he got that thing it turfed up and it looks nice now it's kind of interesting though i don't know enough about hair restoration but that that was a hell of a turnaround yeah i wonder if it it seems like it could be

losing you buddy crazy oh my guess it seems like hair hair restoration would be easier on black people don't you think i just feel like the hair is less complex and it doesn't have to point the right way and it did point the right way yeah yeah that's a thing like just colleagues all over the place so black people's hair restoration is easier because it's not as complicated? Well, I mean, yeah. Yeah.

It faces in different directions. I know this much about hair restoration. So explain to me the complication in white people's hair. I guess it grows directionally. Break the races by hair complexity. Asian easiest. hair i guess it it grows the races by hair complexity asian easiest no there's i i guess hair doesn't grow straight up like you think it does it grows in different

directions and if that direction is wrong then it looks really fucked up i present to you the president of the united states as an example yet Yet for black people, that's not quite the issue. It just grows squiggly like the tail of a pig all over the place. Right. So you think you could just place it anywhere and that'll do it. That's not the case. So what I know a little bit about hair, black hair and it doesn't grow squiggly.'s just they're called curls right so so so that that's that's the uh the coarseness of it is just curls uh it still grows in a certain direction like if you ever seen like young uh cats who wear like do-rags right they wear do-rags to get the waves right so the waves um are in the direction that your hair grows we have calyx just like um uh you fair-skinned people but uh

but the hair prefer colonizers no disrespect but uh but uh yeah no it still grows in a in the same direction as yours it's just it's just curly fam oh hearsay joe rogan had that hair surgery where they like oh he did they like hair surgery worst surgeon in america so what they did oh you think you have no idea how bad you should see the scar on the back of his neck where they cut out a big they did it like a skin graft they cut out like the skin and the hair and like i think they tried to put it somewhere else on his head or something like that and they botched it like he went to

like one of those back alley places seemingly because he's got this nasty scar on the back of his the top The back of his head bottom back of his head I don't know what to call that area top of the back of the neck or whatever and he says It's one of his most regretted decisions he's ever made now There's another thing that they do where they they pull hairs out of places where you have plenty of hair And they just they put them in and then there's various ways to do that I don't want to call the guy out, but there's a YouTuber that Chiz and I know

and his father is very wealthy in Canada. I'll just allude to who it is. In Canada, his father runs all of the Pepsi. They make palettes. They make palettes. I know exactly who you're talking about. Every palette that Pepsi sits on, they make sits on they make them dudes dudes ultra rich and that guy was telling me he's like oh yeah uh i'm not worried about he was he's losing his hair

it was thinning he's like i'm not worried my dad got this surgery it was expensive as hell looks legit you can't even tell can't even tell he's he's he's good to go and i was like what all right that's interesting did you get it more than once because he you'd think he'd wanted it like 23 30 35 and then maybe you're wrapped up totally like it still continues for a while but like the reason joe rogan's got fucked is because getting hair plugs in like the 90s would be like getting a minor infection in 1898 where it's like i get you're gonna lose the foot sir like that like they hadn't figured out the science yet and so if joe rogan had waited

what 12 years he would look fine right now guaranteed that's why he's bald because he just he just he gave up you think for now he said fuck it and it also gives him like i think it goes well with his ufc persona like he's a big muscle-bound dude who's bald and i don't know that it seems to be a lot of guys are bald in the ufc works with his physique what did trump get i want to say they removed sections of his head like they just took off the bald parts no trump trump is doing that thing that like tons of old people do and they're in denial where like they'll like the hair is growing way further back but they just keep growing it forward and putting product in it to try and like fake it you know where it's like oh clearly you know

he had surgery has I'm just saying the swoop is obvious like can you see it from the side there's like it's like a plateau like where you like the kind of plateau like a little jutting out that where it's clearly not hair coming from here it's coming from back here there's a couple of swoops like he's he's covering he's coming at it from three or four directions i saw an image that explained his hair yeah yeah it's pretty it looked like one of those diagrams that teaches you to tie a tie yeah it's like nine different wraps and a knot, and you need a buddy and a mirror,

and then you get to the end and you realize... I want to see his bedhead in the morning. Like, what he wakes up with. Oh, no. You know he sleeps with, like, a hairnet on. He totally sleeps with a hairnet on.

I would bet fucking money that that man sleeps with a hairnet. He's a Windsor toupee. Imagine, like, they pound on his door at 3 in the morning. Sir, we're DEFCON 2. The Soviets are moving through Poland. And he can't be jumping out of bed with that thing all a mess

and just going right into the situation. Jesus, the Soviets are back? Yeah, that's not what you would want. But I don't get why some of these super rich guys just don't get it taken care of legit they've clearly figured it out now like uh lebron is a legit science now oh yeah like look at lebron would you ever guess that he got it done yeah oh just by looking at him i've never seen him in person oh no but i'm i'm saying like now if you didn't see him back in the day and you just saw his hairline now,

you would think, that guy didn't have surgery. Probably, yeah. Yeah, it looks legit. I've seen it before, so like the image is always. That's what sucks. I mean, that's what sucks about the internet is like there's so many receipts about who you are. Dude.

So I've grown older on the internet. I've been on the internet for like nine years now and uh every so often i'll be like oh check out me i made this really funny video where i wore like an electric dog collar and it's just like you were so young and i know what they mean they mean i looked good then and not now it's exactly what they mean we all fucking know it it's uh i know. You know it. Are you ever going to get any surgery, Woody? Because we've talked about the nose job a few times.

My wife and I were talking about it just recently. Get a nose job? Yeah. Nose job wouldn't be my... That's not my main complaint right now. It's your bottom teeth? I'm going to stop guessing because i'm an asshole is it your uneven eyes like i'm so sorry

bottom teeth thing i have an appointment in october to meet with someone about invisalign apparently the inventor of invisalign is in raleigh. And I didn't want to get braces. That's not really like a surgery. That's more of like a appliance. That's more oral hygiene. I'm with that. That's cool. So they told me years ago that they couldn't fix my problem.

My teeth are too crooked with Invisalign. That I would need braces. And I just didn't want to be in my 40s wearing braces on the internet so but we're going to readdress that and see what we can do if I were to have one surgery it would be my neck and it doesn't look that bad on camera on the show because it's straight on it's a good angle but if you were to meet me and see it it's not as flattering as that it's my worst attribute i think i'd get an eyebrow reduction just what's that could i get a cranial reduction where you just make it can you make it smaller the whole thing if they shaved off a millimeter of all sides you know just give

that to me yeah i've never thought about i think i'm gonna hold off on any kind of plastic surgery until i'm old but that chin one is one i've imagined because there are lots of people in like their 50s where everything looks good about them until they turn to the side and they've got the mitch mcconnell neck where it's like oh oh that's terrible like why don't you do something about that and on the converse sometimes when i see people who i think are the best looking like a tom cruise or something outstanding looking for his, that neck profile is a bigger part of it than you might think. It makes a huge difference. Let me check out your neck profile, man.

I don't think – let me check you out. You're tripping, man. I think you let that one live, man. You're straight. There you go from Arian Foster himself. You're good, man. want to live man you straight there you go from arian foster himself good man what do you think what do you think the funny funniest plastic surgery to get would be to get that you absolutely don't need just just fucking do it just fucking do it anyway because because eyebrow reduction

clearly i think breast implants would be fucking hilarious like like like i think that would be the the like like imagine like if we had a bet amongst ourselves we do little sports bets five dollars and shit like that what if the loser had to get fucking breast implants and keep them for for like a three months or something like that you see the guy that did that yeah there's a thing that's i'm linking it right now yeah or cats are like uh like weightlifters like muscle that's what they do and they get breast implants to enhance no no i've seen what you're talking about those uh those muscle implants they do six packs they do packs they do everything but i'm talking about like but they shape those for a man you know they make it shape like a pectoral muscle i'm talking about getting female breast implants

as a man like getting some nice c cups on yourself to the point where you've got to rock a fucking bra a bro excuse me look at the picture of this guy that's nice bro the little tagline for this story is uh happy with his boob job brian zembik want to bet that he couldn't keep the breast implants in for more than a year but 17 years later he's decided to keep them the older picture above shows him in bed with his now ex-wife and he's sitting there with two plump little bees behind the skin of a terrible man chest and he's got the smile of a of a man who secretly wanted tits the whole time i made a hundred thousand dollars and I got tits. And I'm fabulous.

It was for $100,000? Yeah, $100,000 to look like a, you know, what's it called? Gyno, whatever it's called when men start growing tits. Would you do it for $100,000? No. Not a chance. Hey, look, he didn't even get bet this one. If you're all going to say no, I'm going to say yes.

But there are some caveats. Not a chance. Hey, look, he didn't even get bet this one. If you're all going to say no, I'm going to say yes. But there are some caveats. All right, first of all, I got to talk to my lady friends. I got to be like, look, I've been offered $100,000 to get breast implants for the next year. Now, this is going to mean that we're not going to be going out very much. All right? Those two dinners a week, the two or three movies we go to a week, no more of that. We're staying in every fucking night for the next year.

You play with them. You play with them, alright? And I'll buy you something nice with some of the hundred grand. Are you okay with me getting some big old titties? Yeah, they will be bigger than yours. Yes, and nicer if I'm being honest. I'm not cheaping out on this. If she agreed, I would

do it. For a hundred grand? For a do it. And I'd run it past my dad. For a hundred grand? For a hundred grand. And I'd run it past my dad. I'd explain, I'd be like, I've been offered $100,000 to get breast implants. I think I'm going to do it. And if he didn't like get like disappointed, you know, that thing where parents are like, I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed. If he didn't pull that number on me, I'd get him. Your dad would look at the guns around his house a little differently that evening. Wait a minute. Are you trying to tell me your father's not just perpetually disappointed in you through your whole life? No, very proud.

This is my dad, not yours. There's no way that's worth it. That would be horrible. Like every little trip to the store, you'd be getting gawks at your tight little titties. He's not leaving the house. He already said that. Yeah, I'm ordering. You'll have to eventually.

And I think I could dress him. Have you delivered a titty guy? Jesus. I don't know if you've ever seen like a lady who put – women will put on like two sports bras to like really compress if they've got big boobs. Like a lot of girls do it in mixed martial arts sometimes there were two or three and it's both to get them out of their way and it's also to keep them from popping out and in combat but i i feel like i could keep them out of sight out of mind if i had to go out you can't keep them out of mind they're going you're gonna know they're there out of your mind i'm gonna know bitches all day

are you gonna be like sitting there like sometimes when you do have to go to like the dmv or You're going to know they're there. I'm going to know. I'm going to be tweaking bitches all day. Are you going to be sitting there sometimes when you do have to go to the DMV or something just like, just tender today. Touching your nips. I think I'm going to start my cycle soon. I don't know. Would you look at them sexually or would you look at them with like, well, this is part of my bet.

The whole sex game with James. You'd have to account for them then. I think I could work them into sex. We were talking about this earlier this week about how I don't really like women biting or licking my nipples. And I almost freaked out on Chick one time because she latched onto one. But I think I could get on board. I think, first of all, I've got to shave them bitches down, right? You can't have big titties with hairy nipples.

Every move's crazy. No, dude, you're going to be intent on shaving them for a few weeks until you realize, I'm not leaving the house anyway. Why do I bother doing this? I'm revolting to both gay men and straight women. There are no people out there for me. And then you're just going to let it grow, and you're going to have a sparse thicket of man hair atop the frankly pathetic and artificial looking

cleavage that you had a doctor put in when he was like you know this doesn't technically violate HIPAA but I'm inclined to you know claim that yeah no this isn't this is not a good thing for you I would I'll chip in a grant I got 1k on it as well man all alright we're up to $2,000 y'all should start a GoFundMe for your fan base and see if we can get Kyle to have some titties that would be fucking hilarious if we only get to 50 grand

you have to get one but I get to pick where it goes right could I put a titty like right in the middle you can put two titties wherever you want. Yes. There'd be ass implants. All right. Now, ass implants I would go with because I feel like my pants would fit better.

I got a flat ass. You can't do that. You can't do that. No, I think. That's distracting from the actual tittiness of the titty. I don't want a big booty or anything, but I would like a little bit of an ass implant. I would totally do that. If it were free, I'd be oh yeah sign me up let's go i bet it's gonna hurt though right what was that there was that documentary i think it just came out on bt

where they were talking about how um how ass implants are like exploding on women and changing their health for health health but like for the worst like people like are dying from this shit and i'm i wouldn't advise it for you bro there's uh there's a couple different ways to do that health. For the worst, people are dying from this shit. I wouldn't advise it for you, bro. There's a couple different ways to do that. $100,000 for titties is not appealing to me at all. What's your price, Woody? Where I'm headed with this is

$400,000 for an udder. Now we're talking. Right? I'd have four sets of titties right if they count for your current now you live with that for a year and you made an impact in your finances i agree a hundred hundred grand wouldn't move me i couldn't i couldn't do it for 100 grand right but but what if it was 600 grand? You get a little utter just for a year.

I don't think I could ever have titties, man. No, I'm totally with Arian on this. No amount of money is walking into the bathroom every day for the rest of your life looking in the mirror and going, what, rest of the year? Rest of the year, okay. 600 grand. It changes everything.

It's going to be stretched. It's going to look weird afterward. The surgery that takes them out is also the surgery that fixes the skin. Absolutely. Here's the problem with this. And I always go low on these, where a lot of people be like, they'll ask that question, how much to suck a dick? And some guy who's literally making $8.50 an hour not shitting on minimum wage but i'm

just saying we'll be like oh a trillion dollars it's like dude you do that shit for 500 grand and you'd swallow right like you know you fucking would bro if i stacked those fucking hundreds up in front of you and slid it across the table and showed you a big pretty dick you'd be on that thing before i could count the money right like like but so so i always like can he get himself like right to the end first or do you have to go through the whole thing oh not only do you have to go through the whole thing but he starts out flaccid and uh he's coming from a family member's funeral so it's gonna take a while he's nervous he's he's it's he's turtled up and you have to not only finish and you got to get him interested because

you got to coax him out. For the first half hour, he's just not even feeling. He's checking his watch and stuff. Taylor, just so you know, I'm going to need a finger in the bum. I didn't know. I mean, if that'll speed the process up, I'll put one. Yeah, it's really in both our best interests. Yeah, so as far as getting a silly tattoo or getting breast implants.

My cousin and I used to do this thing. We'd see a pile of dog shit. just jokingly as like teenagers be like how much would it take to eat that bro and like i'd be like so what is that though okay so this is what i've noticed this is interesting this is just for me so like being being in a whole bunch of different kind of diverse locker rooms like The white dudes have these kind of conversations all the time. I would walk in, it'd be six in the morning, and they'd be like, Aaron, Aaron, bro, bro, would you rather suck a goat dick or drink cow ball juice? And I'm like, why are y'all thinking about this shit at 6 AM?

But it's like all the time. But I know that... Why do y'all thinking about this shit at 6 a.m.? But it's like all the time. But I know that... Why do y'all have these things? So you guys don't get together and talk about what inappropriate elective surgeries you would have for money? It's just definitely new territory. I think life is just too easy

for white people. And we've got a lot of time. We don't have to worry about getting... We get pulled over and we're like, like oh this is going to be a 10 minute inconvenience life is just a little bit easier for us so we've got to come up with something to fill the gaps

what do black people talk about? you've been in a lot of locker rooms, you've identified white patterns carry on we're like cultural things we'll talk about the albums that are out, the celebrities that are doing things, sometimes

culture, politics, things like that. But the fringe conversations is what I'm talking about because the white folks talk about that too. What I'm saying is the oddball shit that y'all talk about is like I've never... It's... I just like this. It's a thing help me i need to earn

my hood pass i think it gives you some insight into the other person and where they are like like some people are like i don't like the word homophobic because i think there are very very few people who are like scared of gay people but i think there's a ton of people who like are disgusted and or hate gay people for one reason or another. We need a new word for what we use homophobia for, but I think it's fun to see just how to that side someone is and how, because I think that's also a sign of how insecure someone can be about either their masculinity or their sexuality, right? That big tough guy who's like, no, never, never would I, you wouldn't even touch the dick?

Never. You just got to tap it like you poop a never, never would I. You wouldn't even touch the dick? Never. Like you just got to tap it like you poop a dog's nose, man. You wouldn't do that? It's interesting. I just don't think it ever comes up. It never comes up. Like would you suck a – like how much would you suck a dick for? It just never – it never came up unless I was around white people.

I bet Terry Crews has been asked that question. Possibly. I got a question, Aaron. So this comes from my high school. In my high school, in the cafeteria, people self-segregated by race. Does that happen in the locker room? That's a great question, actually. I think it's just a byproduct of america man you feel more comfortable around the people that you normally congregate with so it's i don't think

it's anything intentional because i think especially with sports it's kind of like a unifier in the country right so i don't think it's anything intentional but like more often than not you'll kind of congregate with your yeah and that's not just like that's not just in locker rooms like they say like the most segregated time in America is Sunday morning for church because it tends

to be all black churches and all white churches and that's not like anybody's forcing them to separate or anything it just kind of I'm nowhere near religious right but i've been to black churches for sure so the first time i went to like a white church was when i was in college and that's that's why i really knew they were like totally different so uh we had to go to church for college like they they made us go early when i was a freshman before i decided to protest that um uh they they made us go and i saw there was i don't know if this is super prevalent i doubt it was extremely

uh they were doing a lot but there was this dude dressed up as elvis and he was dancing around the stage well yeah the elvis deacon this is part of every white church but it was like my first experience with like a white church. And he was singing. He sang a song called Leaving Lust Vegas. And I was in church. Oh, baby, I may be the king of rock and roll. He was doing that.

He's the king of man. He did the whole. He did that whole spiel. And he was like leaving Lust Vegas. And I fell out laughing. And I was. They were looking at me like I was being disrespectful. And I was like, what the fuck is this?

Hey, you find something funny about the Lord, buddy? That was hilarious, man. I've been to white churches and black churches. I definitely preferred my experience at the black church. Growing up, I went to a white church and we had a choir and there would be songs, but everybody's really

reserved. Everybody's sitting there and you clap and you sing along and there might be five songs i went to a black church in atlanta with my girlfriend two or three times a few years back and it was like a concert it was like a it was like a it was like an r&b concert like i was there was a lot less fire and brimstone and a lot more like let's dance and sing about jesus and i was into it like like the everybody every black person can sing i don't know what that's about all right like like you look at the ushers over there he's hitting notes like barry white the whole fucking choir is fucking is fucking killing it and you're just god i have a friend that i have friend uh the buddy my buddy who kind of made a

lot of the music that's on my album, actually, he grew up in the church. And he was saying, he plays the piano, and he was saying some of the best musicians he's ever met in his life are from the church. I don't know what it is. Do black churches have people who speak in tongues? Or is that just a white church thing? I don't want to be the representative for black churches because I didn't go to church like that but uh but for my friend better to represent yeah than an atheist yeah super qualified but uh but yeah speaking in tongues shit absolutely that shit happens

that was that blew my mind the first time i went to a friend's church when i was little because my church didn't do the speaking in tongues thing it was it was a lot of the fire and brimstone and putting the fear of god in you and you went there and it was even scarier than the fear of god because just to like as a kid to see adults standing up like doing like just making up shit and like waving their hands and stuff like it it made me feel like i didn't like really buy into the whole demon thing until right now like is that one like this is horrifying and then like the older i got the more i was like these fuckers you're just making this up you've you've used the same few uh sounds multiple times you do the hum and the hum and the thing like when you're like as if god's like you know not telling you what to say fast enough yeah it would always sound the same it would be like hola holanda and he'd be you'd look at this guy and this is like a 50 year old man who's sweating and red

face with both hands in the air and he's like vibrating with intensity and you know i'm eight years old you're like holy shit i hope that doesn't happen to me. I'm not going to read any more of this book. Say I'm out. I always remember that same thing of, like, the speaking in tongues and, like, people in church who would, like, make a scene of, like, putting their hands up and, like, being in the front so that people behind them could, like, see, like, wow, look at Alan.

He's really in with God. He's really doing this. And it's, like, even it's like even as like a 13 year old it was like we just did a lesson last week about you know the lord saying if you are to pray do not do it in front of others because that is hypocritical it makes you like a pharisee instead go into your room in private and do it alone and it's like you're doing exactly what jesus told you not to do making a big song and dance about it and making sure everybody sees who the good guy is it's like no i remember going i went to um i i i went to a catholic church when i was real little oh that's so boring catholic but it's so exhausting i just like they they get up and they get down they have those little like pull out things where you can kneel and so you have

to kneel you have to get up you have to sit down you have to kneel you and it's just like at the i'm like it's not even i don't think it's worth it you didn't have the fitness for it go to hell i wasn't i wasn't over the years i pocketed at least 25 dollars that my mom gave me to put into the uh into the thing because after a few times it was just like god doesn't need this he's like i don't have a projector i don't have dope shit. Woody, I'm going to need you to ask your father what is going to befall Taylor for literally stealing from God. Stole from the Lord above.

I want him to ask what circle of hell a man like Taylor is going to be cast down into who literally stole from Jesus Christ. I didn't put it in and take it out. I just kept it. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm sure the Lord will see it that way. Did we put him on speakerphone? Oh, could you call him now?

If you can, like, see if you can arrange that, I'll do an advertisement real quick, and maybe we can make that work out so there's no downtime. Context. Why are we calling your father? His father's very religious, and he's a bit of a biblical scholar. And I don't say that mockingly. He knows his stuff. And I would like his opinion on how serious an offense that is against God. But first, I want to tell everyone about Movement Watches, because you guys have heard me talk about Movement. You know those two college dropouts that started their own watch company.

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You look fantastic. I have them in my car. I wear them all the time. Yeah, big fan. I'll do a second ad since Woody's off gallivanting with his daddy. Oh, I hope we can get hold of him. Let me find a shorter one. Yeah, there we go. This episode of PGA is brought to you by a company we have a lot of personal experience with,

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He's not even a little, it's probably underselling it. I would guess three grand, easy. I do Postmates every time I'm in LA. Oh, Papa Gamer Tag here. Hello? Hey mom, it's Matt. Is dad there? Yes he is, just a minute. Okay. Matt, is Dad there? Yes, he is. Just a minute. Okay. Alexa, drop in Stan. Let her know that she's on the show. I have a phone for you.

Shout out to Mom for being so technologically savvy. Hey, Matthew. How are you doing? Hey, good. Dad? Yeah? You're on the podcast right now, and Taylor did the most terrible thing I've ever heard of anyone doing against God

we were curious if you could weigh in on what the punishment for such a thing would be are you okay to talk I really don't want to be on the podcast okay I'll bail out of this alright I'll disrespect that have a good night Ted

bye he doesn't even want to be tangentially related to this kind of sin of this. Alright, I'll disrespect that. Have a good night, Dad. Bye. He doesn't even want to be tangentially related to this kind of sin and debauchery. It's like God's going to see the list of the three of us and he'll get co-opted. No worries. Thanks for attempting that. You never know how that's going to go.

I appreciate you trying. Say that again, Aaron? I said, and you had an atheist guest on? That wasn't going to go well, man. Oh, none of us are religious. It's all good. And I felt bad about it. And so I asked forgiveness.

And so, hey, I'm all good. You know, they said there's no atheists in foxholes. Like, let me ask you this, Taylor. If you were on your deathbed, do you think that you would, you know, come back to religion, ask for forgiveness for your sins? I'm not like staunchly like there is no god yeah i'm not like i'm more like it's it's totally possible that there's a god out there i just don't think we have any evidence like enough evidence now for it and i don't think like even if we could prove it i don't think we could prove like a specific one that we've we've tried to figure out so far. So I'm not like, all religion is the root of all evil

and it's so terrible. I'm more just like, it might be nice. It probably would be nice to believe in something like that and have the comfort of dying with that. But belief isn't a choice. You can't choose to believe something. Would you go to religion or not? Dude, belief isn't a choice like you can't choose to believe something i could lie if i think god is so dumb that i could

play into it but like no then he would know i was faking it i think that i guess what i'm suggesting is that maybe in that in that situation you would get you would you would gain faith maybe oh yeah no no i totally agree with you because i can tell in times of stress like of high stress i'll be like man like i wish i could like pray and like get some of this out of there you know and you know because that there's a reason people do that it's kind of cathartic to just kind of release all that and feel as though it's being taken care of, even if not the way you want. Great word. Great word. Cathartic. Oh, thank you. That's on my calendar. It's a March word. It's funny. I actually had what I thought was a near-death experience. So I was actually

kind of relieved knowing I thought I saw my end, right? And so this is why i'll tell you the story so the other probably about two or three months ago i i had an anxiety attack i had never had an anxiety attack i i thought people that had anxiety attacks were just like stop whatever stop thinking about it no it's actually something that actually affects you physically i had no idea so what happened i was sitting on my bed and all of a sudden I got shortness of breath. Couldn't breathe. And my heart started pounding out of my chest. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

And I tried to gain my breath. And then I finally told my girls, yo, you got to call somebody. This is real. And she's on the phone with them. She's talking to them. She's relaying messages. And then you get even more worked up. And then my hands started going numb.

My feet started going numb. And it started locking up. And I'm like, oh, I'm having a heart attack. In my mind, I'm like, oh, I'm having a heart attack. I'm going to die. And so in that moment, in my head, I'm like, oh, this is what life flashing before your eyes is. And so literally, I thought about my kids. I was like, i was like oh shit i'm not gonna get to see them again

um but like not once was i like there's a god like that that was kind of when it all settled i was like that's a cool feeling that knowing thinking i was about to die i was i was kind of at peace just like i was like shit i'm not gonna see my kids but yo this is it even i looked at her i was like yo i love you like this is it like i love you it was it was an insane feeling that it's hard to describe but like but knowing that you're you can go at peace is it's a great feeling man was i uh caused your anxiety attack or is there no real understanding of how it came on uh i've i've seen i've seen a couple people about it and i guess the the best possibility we came i mean the best um explanation we came up with was that i've

you know i've i've retired and i'm like two years into my retirement and i've been so on the go like i've had i've done so much stuff like with my, with my podcast, with all my side business ventures. I've never been more busy in my life. That on top of a lot of past family issues kind of accumulated over years, and I've kind of took the brunt of a lot of it. And I've never been one of those cats to kind of verbally express how I feel. I kind of just like, ah, it's not a big deal. And so, I mean, I still feel like that.

So I'm unsure if that is a huge variable in it, but I think all of that stuff there, just years and years of, of kind of packing stuff in kind of just came out. Maybe, I don't know. Is that the only one you've ever had? Yeah, it's the only one I've ever had. Man, I get about two or three a year and, uh vary in intensity. A really bad one, I go full unconscious and pass out and hit the ground. That's happened four times, I would say, roughly in my life. A really light one, I sense it coming on because I get the tingling. I start seeing stars. If you stand up too quickly, sometimes you kind of see stars a little bit.

I get that. I break into a cold sweat, and I've got to go like a breathing exercise to like like a lamaze class or something to like calm myself and like get myself oxygenated i guess and sit down and like i'll recover from it and then there's like a mid-ground where like i'll black out for a moment and like fall down and then but i'm still semi-conscious it's a fucking nightmare and i felt really embarrassed about it when i was a kid uh and it would happen because it would happen in inopportune times right like you'd be trying to stand up to a bully and your body's giving up on you and you look like a pussy it's it's it's the worst and then i remember watching sopranos yeah like i'm here to stand up

like i'm ready that happened once where you're confronting a bully i don't think you've ever told that if yeah yeah i had uh this uh this guy had how old are you 10th grade so maybe 16 15 16 something like that and uh this guy's much bigger than me and he's no he's likes to fight guy that uh as jim rome would say and uh he likes to fight guy and uh and it's like and he's also a big bully right he's just a jerk he's an asshole and he's been giving me shit for a while and finally i'm like i'm ready to take an ass whooping and and maybe hit this guy a couple times and this is going to be it i'm tired of living every day in a little bit of fear this guy and trying to avoid him and everything i'd rather get this ass whooping over with and i'm gonna fucking hurt him in the in the midst of it i'm gonna i'm gonna pop him in the nose i'm gonna i'm gonna poke an eye or bite something i'm gonna do whatever i can do

to hurt this guy and he's not gonna want this again i'm not i'm never gonna want it again but he's not gonna fuck with me anymore and like i you know i shoved the guy in the chest i'm like fucking let's do it come on then fucking let's do it and i just start locking up and i'm able to talk it sort of fizzles out and we go just start locking up and I'm able to talk. It sort of fizzles out and we go our separate ways, but I barely was able to walk away. I had, I go to the bathroom and just sat on the toilet with like my pants on with like my, and just, just, just trembling. And I'm like, what is going on? I'm not afraid. I wasn't afraid of it. I was just so stressed out. My body was just giving up. And I remember watching Sopranos for the first time. I don't remember when, but when I was an adult. And it really made me feel better about

having panic attacks that Tony Soprano, you know, the big bad gangster, the head of the crime family had this same problem. And then watch, you know, I never went to therapy, but watching him go to a make-believe therapist, you know, shed a little bit of light on like what my issues were. I thought that was pretty cool. But yeah. Was there like a trend of the kind of stimuli you experienced that always triggered it? It's extreme stress. It's extreme stress. It could be physical or like situational, but it's extreme stress situations. Anything like that. My dad was yelling at me one time when I was like 18. And I was just having a really big argument and I had a panic attack then. But then of course, I had that panic attack in court that time when they were saying that my concealed carry permit wasn't legitimate. And they were talking about putting me in jail for just open carrying my pistol. And pistol and i know i'm in the right but this judge isn't hearing it i had a panic

attack then and they had to drag me out of the courtroom not drag me but carry me really um it's been all kinds of stuff i'm sorry but i've never had one something like that that's the that's the biggest thing that happened to me which was because like i would i would hear those stories and be like man come on bro but like when you have one, I guess it's just the ignorance, man. But when you have one, it physically enables you. There's nothing you can do. Your body quits. You can't think your way out of it.

You can try, but you just have to let it take its course. And to not know it's a panic attack is the scariest shit. When you know it's kind of like, okay, I know what's going on. I know this will pass. But, like, if it's your first time, you think you're going to die. Yeah, absolutely. It's fucking scary. I passed out one time outside on concrete.

And I don't remember hitting the ground, but I remember waking up. And, like, I had, you know, when you're awake and you fall, like, fall like we've got like some programming in us that makes us fall right for the most part and you know roll and not take any injuries but i felt hard i went like elbow first in the concrete and then hit my head and i like i wait i wake up and i'm like oh fuck fuck i'm all bleeding and shit like it's yeah those are the worst. Yeah, that sucks. Have you ever had that, Woody? No, no. I wasn't even going to share.

One time, I was an adult. You're not anymore? I call myself like 28. Yeah, right, I stopped. I worked at Cisco, and Cisco had a policy of firing something like 10 of the staff every quarter and uh you think to yourself like well how hard is it to be top 90 right like that whatevs but uh if you reprocess that and say like 40 of the team gets fired every year it's like you know it just takes you know be bottom

half one time be the one guy that's a matter of time and uh it was early in my cisco career and i've thought about this a lot like one of the root causes is i was a good deal smarter than my boss and not nearly mature enough not to be an asshole about it so every time like he would just be leading a meeting or something and it just seemed like he couldn't go 10 minutes without making a math error or a simple mistake and i wasn't cool about it i was mocking because i was being an asshole and uh, uh, to my surprise, I found myself on a performance improvement plan or something like that. They had something called a work improvement plan and a performance improvement plan, whichever one was more minor I was on. And, uh, it just

shook my world all of a sudden, like, like I was an asshole. I was in trouble at work and, uh, like financial success and career success was a part of my sense of self-worth. And that was dented. And, um, uh, I, I, one night I wet my bed and then this won't be memed now it will but but it was just like how old were you like 30 28 you know something like that i think i'd been cisco for about two years and uh um my wife was wicked cool about it she was just like all right yeah you know we can clean this up it's all good i don't know i thought she'd maybe beat me like my mom who knows what the hell i was thinking your mom ever beat you when you wet the bed oh obviously um that wasn't allowed but uh and that's like the number one thing of like like one of the things of indicating abuse is like bedwetting yeah like that's one of the things have you ever seen to get beaten for bedwetting, like, it seems almost cyclical. That's literally, that's literally the impetus

for the movie Red Dragon, the Hannibal Lecter movie about the killer who goes and murders the family and puts glass in their eyes. He was raised by, I think, his grandmother, and he would have these flashbacks to when she was like, "'Look what you did, you filthy little animal. "'Stretch it out, stretch that little.'" And she's talking about his penis. She's like, "'Stretch it out.'" She little and he's talking about she's talking

about his penis she's like stretch it out she's got big scissors she's like i'm gonna cut it off i'm gonna cut it off if you if you do that again you filthy little animal and he's just and he's like going through he's doing both sides of this conversation as a grown man with us with pantyhose on his head while he benches about 300 right so he's doing her voice and then he's doing his voice like no granny no i won't do it again kink kink like it's it's fucking intense so i'm glad you didn't go that route yeah well my childhood wasn't quite as bad as that guy's she just she just stretched it out what did she call us you're filthy and stuff she didn't do that. She was just mad at me and she'd yell at me and sometimes

hit me while she was changing the bed. And then when she finished cleaning the bed, then I was out of trouble. I have to ask, did she ever rub your face in it like a dog? No. Like a puppy or something. No, no, she didn't do that. Why did you have to ask?

Well, because I know some of the other things that she's done to him. Gotcha, gotcha. This was the kind lady we heard speaking to Alexa a moment ago. Right. So my wife was way better than my mother was. She just cleaned it, sort of never mentioned it again. Your wife's awesome. Jackie's really awesome.

I had this idea um they do this thing on the stern show sometimes where they go and they pick a person that's sort of part of the crew they are or uh like one of the whack packers often because they have sillier answers but they ask them like a bunch of trivia questions um and then they they have a game where you guess whether the person got that answer correct or not. And it's kind of difficult because oftentimes the people are retarded or something. And I recently saw them do it with Howard Stern's father, Ben Stern. They asked Ben Stern questions about Howard, and the guest has to guess whether Ben will know the answer or not. So they say, hey, does Howard have any allergies? And Ben's like, no. And he's like, that is wrong. Howard's allergic to penicillin.

You don't get a point, ma'am. So I was thinking what if Taylor and I privately I know we can't do it now, and I was like I was thinking of doing it tonight, but I know we can't because you're away. What if Taylor and I had a private conversation with Jackie where we asked her some questions about you and then you had

to guess whether or not she knew the answers correctly or not. You know what would happen? She'd nail it. Well, she would know the answers. I really think she would. She would never say something that would paint me in a bad light on the internet. Oh, and the questions wouldn't go in that direction.

It would be like, what's Woody's favorite food? She would straight up lie. How big is his penis? What is his worst fear? Oh, well, what's Woody's favorite food? Straight up lie. How big is his penis? What is his worst fear? Oh, well, it's goblins. You know? She wouldn't, like, sell you down the river. Yeah, no, I would ask questions like, you know,

not literally this, but, you know, what's his favorite food? Or, like, does Woody know the way to the post office? Or, like, I don't know. Does Woody know your shoe size? Do you know your wife's shoe size uh i could get close i don't know seven or eight probably oh that's a no see this that would have been a decent one right that's a no how about her ring size i know i don't know her ring size i don't even know how rings are sized i would say

standard like i think they go by millimeters right like millimeters of circumference maybe I don't know her ring size. I don't even know how rings are sized. I would say standard. I think they go by millimeters, right? Like millimeters of circumference, maybe? Medium, small. Or maybe it's diameter. I don't know either. I remember my mother was going to buy my... That long cone, you know? My mother was going to buy my father a ring one time,

and it was supposed to be a surprise. And so she sends me in on the most awkward, weird mission ever. She's like, yeah, just take this twist tie from like some bread and wrap it around your father's finger and then report back to me and i have to go and be like hey dad just just give me your hand yeah i had no plan i had no explanation your hand dad and he's just like oh okay and i'm like wrapping this twist tie loosely around his ring finger i'm like all right all right thank you and i walk away and i always thought like i wonder what he thought of me in that moment that he had one of those hank hill moments that boy right that boy right i knew i should have stayed home more he probably put two he probably put two and two together i know he was surprised

when she showed up with you know really yeah Yeah. What kind of man have I raised, Kyle? That's silly nonsense. Yeah, you really didn't do it in a very suave way. I didn't know what to do. I was like 12, and mom's like, go in there and do this. I'm like, why? She's like, I'm going to get your father a ring. Makes me want to segue into a topic, and I'm glad Arian's here for it.

Somebody wrote me a message, and I'm going to, there's some paraphrasing involved to make it more Arian's here for it. Somebody wrote me a message and I'm going to, this is some paraphrasing involved to make it more anonymous, but here we go. Woody, I'm in my early twenties and I've been dating my girlfriend since I'm 16. Life's been good to us. We made it through college, et cetera, et cetera. She brought up the fact that she's been feeling unhappy in her life and maybe it's us. She feels like there's something missing inside of her and she needs to be alone to find out who she is. I guess I feel like i have those feelings too like i'm missing a part of who i am and maybe it does stem from being together for so much of our lives we still love each other we're still together and we've been thinking about getting married but finances never

really allowed it to happen i'm writing to you because you have this everybody gets two chances except jackie rule and then he goes on to explain i'm trying to keep it anonymous a little bit but this girl sent some inappropriate messages over facebook to someone who's physically far away so there's never been anything physical but he feels emotionally cheated on and he's kind of hurt he asked if we've ever been something like this. No. And, you know, he's just having second thoughts about marriage a little bit. He definitely sees himself as like a parallel to what Jackie and I have. And he's very attached to this girl.

But, you know, I want to spend the rest of my life. Watch it. But he wants to spend the rest of yeah yeah he wants to spend the rest of his life with her but he's asking if he's being weak and just riding this wave arian thoughts oh the first one so my initial thought was like yo it's over and this is why from my experience women that are committed like are committed right so it's like if if if um it's it's rare women are more monogamously inclined uh yeah than men are uh for whatever reasons it could be evolutionary reasons for whatever reasons the ones that that like kind of tail off like they're they'll that's what they want to do but what but an even deeper point is is this is they've been together since i was 16 so that's high school like you have no clue who you are in high school you have no clue who you are in your early 20s he's in his

early 20s like i just turned 30 and i just now feel like i'm finding myself as a man right so i mean everybody is different of course so if you marry your high school sweetheart that's that's cool beans but i think if you allow yourself to grow whatever that may be and not hold on to uh the normalcy that is your life. Allow yourself to grow and experiment. And if it's real, you'll come back. If it's not, it sounds to me like both of them want to explore. And it makes sense to me.

And if she's sending messages and stuff like that, it's like, yo, go explore. I'm with my girl now and i always tell her like anytime she has any kind of inquisitions about me i'm always telling her like listen like if i want if i didn't want to be here i wouldn't i don't got nothing we ain't married like yeah i would i would leave trust me but like i want to be here so i think that's just me being a man so like there's there's a difference in my opinion. I would advise them to explore themselves, and that would help them figure out their situation. Do you think maybe they should take a little break? Go do some banging?

If they want to do all of that. Yeah, if you take a break for the express purpose of fucking other people, you're never going to get back together. Not even that, if that's what you want to do anyway, I'm not saying you're wrong about wanting to do that. It's over. Yeah. When you're already sending these messages to someone, she's already indicating

that she's looking for something else. That's the only signal you need. And something that's common with women that men don't do as much is men are more likely to just end it. just end the relationship. Women do something very commonly where they'll hold on to their current man and only let go once they've got a hand on another branch. Because women value the security of a relationship much more than men do because that's what men bring to the table. And so they don't want to be left in the ether on their own.

And so they'll be with someone right up until they switch to someone else. So men in relationships are crossing a river, hopping from rock to rock. Women in relationships are climbing a ladder rung to rung. Yeah, women tend to spend far less time monogamous or single between relationships. I don't agree with that. Women are more serial monogamous. It's true. Is it true?

You fucking changed my mind. Yeah, well, fuck. If Taylor says it's true, now I do agree with it. It's undoubtedly true. It is decided. Indubitably. Indubitably.

So, that's that die experience. Oh, i anyway you've got an awesome wife like one of the i think one of the most unique things about woody here is his relationship with his wife is is it's like a disney story i feel like it's a real one in a million thing that you know they say half of marriage is in a divorce but that's a skewed statistic because so many people get multiple divorces. But in any case, they really love each other and they depend on each other. They have this sort of two sides of the coin type teamwork thing going on where it feels like they both appreciate what the other brings to the coin so much and they know that they need it.

Woody doesn't know how to buy dog food. Woody doesn't know where the post office is. He needs Jackie. Jackie never made a half million dollars in a year. That's a hell of a talent. He needs Woody. Jackie never woke up every morning with three hours of sleep and went into a job and worked her ass off to build up a retirement plan or a 401k. But what she did was equally difficult, equally important, and equally admirable, I think. You guys have an amazing thing going on. I've always really admired your relationship. Well, thank you.

Yeah, I got super lucky with Jackie. I like that. I like that, Kyle. Whatever that is, keep that. Stay with that. I like how Arian tries to make you into the kind of person that you're just not. I just like to bask in these moments, man. That's enough.

In the positivity. I want to talk about your family now. Can I get on the last topic real quick? I would hate to see this guy get married purely out of momentum he's been with her for seven years which is definitely third of his life and and sometimes there's just no impetus to fully end a relationship even though it should be ended and i think he might be there so sounds like it your daughter goes to unc right right? She does, yeah, Chapel Hill. I'm a little concerned, Woody, that perhaps she has fallen in with a terrorist group.

It is possible. Carry on. It's just possible. Now, I'm not suggesting that you call your daughter, but perhaps text her and ask her if she was at this... I believe she's become a member of Antifa. I'm just going to lay it right out there, because recently at the... Say the word?

Yeah. Sam you're heading towards, right? Yeah, Silent Sam, the Confederate statue known as Silent Sam, was toppled by protesters recently on the UNC campus. They threw up, like, it was very coordinated, right? These were not, like, I feel like when the right has dummies, they're shooting pistols off in a park and like and being racist when the left has assholes these guys knew what was up they like hid their actions with like banners and uh and and tarps and someone they

don't really know like like hooked on straps to the thing and yanked it down there's and so they toppled this uh this statue that they believe is racist, this Confederate statue. I would love it if someone photoshopped Hope into the crowd. No, no, no. No, of course not. I'm wondering if she

was there, perhaps, at the thing, or if she knows anything about it. I was just concerned that maybe she's taken up with the wrong crowd. You know, Kyle's made no points, but I'm on his side. Welcome to the show. Welcome to the show. See, you know what I think is really rude about these Confederate statue tearers down? Is that once the statue's down, none of these assholes are considerate enough to be like,

all right, let's pick it up and take care of it the you know early morning janitor doesn't show up and be like oh no like in like in like hundreds of pounds of statue very rude and it's littering well take it as theft though fair point what i i asked her i said i'm doing pka right now they're asking if you were around when silent same was pulled down and she said that she wasn't around but that she could hear it from her room ah what she means is that which means what she said the five fingers of the antifa fist of which she is one were sure just once they had the event planned they make sure that it's this i don't want to be a target of it no of course not i'm being silly no no but i know i know she's not a member of antifa and she didn't rip any

confederate statues down she's a lovely person and wonderfully talented as said and i happen to know that i went to unc's campus in the spring i was walking around with hope and stuff and uh they have police guarding silent sam all the time last year they spent 200 it was either 200 or 339 000 on silent sam of which three grand was cleaning and the other 336 000 was round the clock security are you serious this yeah i saw the cops there like they were there were two cops posted next to Silent Sam, keep it safe, because people were threatening to – it's been a target of attention for years now. They could have spent like $100,000 and just like build it taller. Or put a cage around it.

Yeah, yeah. Or just tear it down, right? Because nobody cares. just tear it down right because like nobody cares like like i don't know about you but um no i don't think any of my i don't know if my in my ancestors fought in the confederate uh in the civil war the war of northern aggression as we call it but i don't care i don't care if they did uh i mean they were probably my one of my thoughts that i have on it is that a lot of the people who fought were just poor farm boys who didn't really have a say as far as slavery went or state's rights or any of that stuff they were just sort of going to defend their homeland

but the higher-ups of the confederacy the people jefferson davis or whoever those people who were running the show evil terrible people for the most part so i i get both sides i suppose she says if you look angrily towards the statue the cops start walking towards you quickly oh what if you look angrily towards the statue, the cops start walking towards you quickly. Oh. What? If you go, hmm. They'll be like, we got a problem. Like, I don't know. Quick, send the highest paid cop in America over.

That's insanity. Yeah, no, they actually have. You're breaking up. Lost your witty. It's coming back. They have multiple cops watching it all the time. Yeah, that's nuts. That's a huge waste of money. I can't believe that.

I feel like even some redneck, racist, conservative who wants the statue there would be like, that's a huge waste of fucking money. God damn it. Hell, tear it down and give me the money. I'll be fine with that. That kind of dissonance does not... It doesn't apply there.

Wow. As long as it fits their narrative. What a waste of fucking money. That's absurd. Why are we so shitty at building statues? We can go to space, but you can't build a statue that kids can't tear down? They built it in 1913.

Well, just make it better. I don't know. It's been there for 105 years, doing just fine. Make America's Confederate statues great again. Make them so all the Antifa rope just snaps. Do that Chinese rope break on old silent Sam. Woo! They catch you, baby. that Chinese rope break on old Silent Sam. Woo! I don't even know who

Silent Sam is. That's the name of the statue. I wouldn't know who any of these characters were unless they put him in the news for stuff like this, you know? Silent Sam's not an actual person. He's a Confederate soldier facing towards the north to honor the people who dropped out of school to go fight in the war.

And he's silent. And I guess this is a trend, but he's silent because I guess he's missing the pouch on the side that would hold his ammo. So because he doesn't have that ammo, he doesn't fire, and that makes them silent. Bizarre. Well, they should have spent that money on offense that's boring is that like a there's like a southern poem or something like that i was it's in the news right now an old-timey limerick you know there's like a thing of poems on the fly yeah i've got a uh article that chis linked us from the metro across the pond and you know let's

give this guy a shot let's listen to his take uh he says what follows there you go he says if a child is old enough to talk, it's old enough to have sex. What the fuck? And so clearly this is a... What a looker this guy is. Yeah, this man is... Who does this look like to you? Abhorrent.

What does he look like? I don't know. He looks like a guy that I wouldn't want to have to play in like a Friday Night Magic. Oh, you know where Kyle's going with that. It looks like... Oh, now I know where Kyle's going. It looks like Wings of Redemption

with the yellow M&M. With the yellow M&M. I'm seeing Wings of Redemption's successful gastric bypass surgery in this dude. Scroll a little further down and you'll disagree. Wings is much better looking than this guy, honestly. Wings is a good looking guy. I don't want to just...

Give me five seconds and then I really want to talk about this pedophile. I think when Wings loses that weight, he's going to be a good looking guy. Yeah. I don't want to just, look, give me five seconds and then I really want to talk about this pedophile. I think when Wings loses that weight, he's going to be a fine looking man. I think he's going to be getting a lot of ass. I really do. I think he's got good facial structure. I think the beard is going to like, I think his face is a little stretched because it's big. I think the beard is going to fill in more as his face shrinks. The skin surface area, you know, it's the Same amount of hair, less surface area.

It just makes sense. I think he's going to be a good looking guy. He's going to be fucking Jason Statham. I don't think Jason Statham will ever fuck him. I don't know. Don't put that bar on him. You're setting that bar insanely high.

This guy, here's his side of the story. The guy's representative legally said, Mr. Leonard said that he would always abide by the laws of whatever country he goes to. If the age of consent in Thailand is 15, then he would abide by that law. He is the Ron Seal, I don't know who that is, of pedophiles. He does exactly what he says on the tin. There's nothing on Mr. Leonard's record to suggest that he has had sexual intercourse with a child. The only thing

he has ever done is downloaded child pornography. I pray you. This man is a victim of circumstance. No? All he's ever done is contribute to an industry that victimizes children worldwide yeah this guy's this guy uh needs a little visit from our old friend chris hansen uh this is

some disturbing stuff we had chris hansen on the show a couple years ago he was he was fucking he was a cool guy um and i he god aren't pedophiles just we have the pedophile talk like every week but god they're abhorrent. There's something... You're falling exactly into his trap. He previously said that pedophiles are being persecuted like gay people 40 years ago and Jews in the Second War.

Now, go ahead and make him right. No, they're being persecuted like we persecute cockroaches and fucking rodents, all right? There should be a van that drives down every in every city in america that has a picture of him with a fucking cross through him like like a ghost like a ghostbuster symbol like like i saw a picture the other day with like rats like dying from a from a from a uh a pesticide company i was like that's a little

hard on the nose i guess but if it was pedophiles up there, I'd be like, yeah, fucking gas them. So I have an interesting caveat. That's not the right word. So I saw a YouTube TED talk that kind of went viral a little bit, and it was about this little, I don't want to say little girl, she looked

like a small lady who was giving a talk about pedophilia, and the clip that they pulled from it was her talking about how we need to try to understand them and yada yada yada so that's the clip they pulled but when you so i i watched it i was like how could ted talks have a talk and that is your subject like that i was like that can't be right so i watched her full discussion and the full discussion was she she she is of the mindset which is an interesting topic she said to because she said she's saying pedophilia isn't a choice she said they feel how they feel and they're sexually attracted to whoever they're sexually attracted to so instead of shunning them we should allow

them an avenue hear me out allow them an avenue to express themselves that way they don't act on those actions right people were so um disgusted with the thought of it that they didn't i don't think they really sat with that with the notion of what she was talking about, which I, I ended up agreeing with, right. Which is like, okay.

If you're a murderer, you're a murderer. If you feel like killing somebody, you're going to kill somebody. But if we, if we, if we say, okay,

you, you're, you're, there's a sickness, whatever we want to call it, give you an avenue to me that in heightens the chances of, um, people, the, the probability of you hurting a child. Like, if we can stop one, to me, it's worth it.

Yeah. Yeah, I believe that as well. I believe that it is not a choice. I don't think anyone ever woke up and said, I think I want to be a pedophile. Just like, I don't think anyone ever woke up and said, I want to be gay. I think, and I don't mean to compare homosexuality to pedophilia. You know, I see conservatives do that a lot. They compare homosexuality to pedophilia and bestiality. And that's a disgusting route to take. So I don't want to make them analogous. I just want to, I just think that the drive is similar in some ways, or the inability to change. They're both sexual preferences is the comparison you're making, right? Yes, but one of them happens to be a loving relationship between two individuals, two adult individuals that hurt no one, consenting, and the other happens to be,

you're preying on the weakest, most precious thing in our society, our children. The most important thing. There's nothing more important than our children. I don't have any children, but I certainly recognize how precious they are. I get it. And so I definitely don't think they make that choice. I think they're driven to do it. And so the question is, does providing things like animated child porn or sex dolls that look like children, does that make them more likely to take the next step to a living child

or less likely to take the step to a living child? And if you look at heroin use, we use methadone treatment, right, to get these people off of heroin. We give them something to fill that void. But that does lead to widespread methadone and other quasi-heroin abuse, like any kind of opioid abuse, like fentanyl and stuff like that. I don't think it's a perfect comparison, but I'm just saying that's an example of someone who really wants a bad thing, and we find a way to substitute it with something that's not as bad.

I'm coming down on it on the other side, but I don't have a hard and fast belief, like you might convince me. I just think that when you allow something like that, like what is the middle ground they're proposing? Like young-looking dolls that they could have intercourse with and stuff like that? Or like that cartoon porn where they're like, it's okay, she may look seven seven but she's a thousand year old vampire

so i'm not really really weird and and strange like like i feel like a lot of that stuff is it would almost be like get saying to a gambling addict all right you can't go to a casino anymore but what you can do is play freemium games on your phone it still gives you a little tin sure you'll spend a little bit of money here and then but you you won't be blowing 10 grand. Over time, you are still plinking and activating and stimulating that same source of pleasure. And eventually, it's not going to be enough because it's almost like if someone is an intense drug user, if you give them a little bit of drug every day, it's going to be much, much harder for them to resist instead of cutting it cold turkey because they're constantly going to be stimulating and getting that feeling of like this is good it's not enough though it's not enough

and i think that might lead them to eventually acting on their urges when they're like this little quasi pleasure it's not enough anymore i need the real thing i think i agree with that aspect and and just to distinguish i don't think she was talking about giving them avenues to to act out their fantasies i think she was talking about giving them avenues like... To be open and ask for help. To be open and ask for help and not be shunned about it. She's asking for understanding of not having that choice, which the thought on the other side was like, that's disgusting.

It's the grossest shit ever. And I 100% agree. I have two daughters and two boys. I would go, I would be under the jail, 100%, no question. If anything, I'd be close. Can I just interrupt you a moment? Pedophilia is so abhorrent that you wouldn't be under the jail. We've seen that time and time again, where a child is molested, raped, and the father says, no, I've got a biological imperative here to kill that motherfucker.

And they do, and sometimes it's on fucking tape. There's that famous video of that guy. They're bringing the fucking child raper through the airport in handcuffs, and the dad walks up and goes, bang! Kills him right there. Drops the gun, and the cop goes, Richard, what did you do? What did you do? Why, Richard?

Why? Fucking probation or something on that guy. They fucking, the grand jury would not indict. They fucking let that guy go. Has no one considered the third alternative of finding hot young supple consenting children? See, Woody and this Mr. Leonard have some things in common. A lot of them.

Yeah, see, that's a way to get yourself on a database. That's how you fucking do it. I was joking! I was joking! You brought Kyle back, right? We had him. We had him. You brought Kyle back, right? We had him.

Yeah, I just, I really think that that kind of temptation is going to be too much for those people and that eventually it's going to cause them to snap. Which also, like... What about the avenue, though? What about the avenue of... Like about having a community or something? Like, there's something about that.

Oh, go ahead, sorry. Just as far as, like, like a venting, a safe haven, therapeutically, that helps them normalize it in their head to where they don't feel, I'm saying this sounds like I'm advocating or defending those fuckers. No, you don't sound like that at all. But all I'm trying to say is like people, at the end of the day, all of we just want to be understood right so we all just want to be understood um and so giving them that kind of avenue whatever that may entail and it's it's way above all of our pay grades to actually

sit around and think about what what that what that exactly entails but uh i think i just think there's something to trying to understand how they feel about this situation to that maybe you can reach some of them and get into it. Because it's a problem. It's a problem. It's a huge problem. In our communities, as far as black people in this country, molestation is a big problem that never gets talked about, right? You're saying that black people are pedophiles?

Not all of them man but the no but it's it's like a problem it's like something like you wouldn't you wouldn't hear a lot but like it happened it's it's it's prevalent it happens underreported yes very very underreported and i think a lot of it has to do with the distrust of law enforcement in our communities like you you're not going to go to the police. And it sits and it festers, and then it becomes this trickle-down factor in our communities. But I really think there's something

to letting people get in the brains of them to maybe start to affect some kind of change. You know what I... A counter-argument to the idea of... So alcoholics, gamblers, 12-step programs have proven to be very effective for that. You get, you get a bunch of guys who all have this same problem together. You get them together and it's a mixture of guys who are just now admitting they have a problem and guys who have been on the wagon for 25 years and it can be very helpful and constructive, right? And I think it works for things like substance abuse. But I don't think it works for things like sex addiction and something like pedophilia. Because putting, like one of the barriers that might stop a pedophile from taking that next step is maybe they don't know how. But maybe you put them in a room with a bunch of other pedophiles, the guy's like, well, I've got

a hard drive back home that you wouldn't believe. You know. The same way that if you put these sex acts together, there's a hot chick over here who's literally addicted to sex. There's a hot guy over here who's literally addicted to sex. I feel like this meeting gets dismissed, and it turns into an orgy. I would bet money that that happens on a semi-regular basis at any sex addict anonymous meeting in the world. But it's definitely a fact. Like I said, it's a deep conversation.

It's super like hot button like it's like sometimes i don't even want to talk about it with people because they feel like you're defending and it's not exactly but it's just like but it's definitely a conversation to be had in my opinion like i feel like the community for them could go one of two ways and they're both kind of extreme like if it's an in-person maybe and it's like a you know therapist led or psychologist whatever what have you led where everybody's talking about their experience and the tactics they use to resist or whatever i feel like that could be healthy but i can also see how like online communities of this could go the path of many other online communities where you become so inculcated in your own group that it's like almost like the incel community if you're familiar with the incel

thing uh arian it's like not it's like groups of uh mainly guys online who are involuntarily celibate which means they can't get laid and so these communities like in in devolve into like you know nobody like it's like crabs in a bucket almost where it's like oh i've failed for so long that that now uh you're you're going to fail too. Don't even try and fix yourself. I've been down that road, buddy. And so instead of getting constructive criticism, yeah, so if there's a pedophile forum, over time, you might start to be like, oh, well, look at that guy. He's way worse than me, and he seems kind of reasonable still.

And you slowly start inching down, rationalizing your behavior and your desires. It seems really multifaceted in that it could go either way really fast. Yeah, that's 100% right. It's a deep topic, man, for sure. Yeah. There's a website called verped.org for virtuous pedophiles. Oh, my God. I linked it if you want to look at it, Kyle.

I tried to, but it wouldn't load for me. It'll load. You just have to wait for like five or six seconds. I'm a little scared to load it. Well, I'm already... Is this going to get me on some FBI list if I click this link? Yeah. No. There's going to be literal evidence of us talking about how much we dislike it.

We're fine. We're good. But they take the same... Why don't you tell me what's on this website, man? Okay. Yeah, it says they take great pains to differentiate pedophiles from child molesters, which is kind of, you know, what I've seen these kind of groups tend to do before is that they're always like, oh, you know, pedophiles are not necessarily child molesters. But it's one of those things where it's like, not all pedophiles are child molesters, but all child molesters are pedophiles. Right. Adjective versus verb. I got you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What, what types of therapy, uh, they say very common advice for pedophiles is get help.

The implication is that professionals can cure the pedophilia if only the pedophile asks for help. Most experts believe that there is no way of making an attraction to children go away just as there's no way to turn gay people straight so an actual cure is impossible but there are treatments that you can turn uh to help pedophile manage the condition and remain law-abiding talk therapies okay so in drug therapies to take the edge off so it looks like they're almost uh like on the in a similar to what you said, Kyle, you know, the therapy route. Yeah, chemical castration works. Yeah, they were talking about drugs like SSRIs, like antidepressants and shit.

I don't know. Let me see. I've heard instances of convicted pedophiles agreeing to chemical castration in exchange for a lighter sentence. Oh, you're right. Chemical castration this year. What does that mean? Yeah, you're right. Chemical castration this year. What does that mean? Yeah, I'm ignorant of chemical castration. I think that Alan Turing got... It's just a pill that kills your sex drive, and it makes you impotent, right?

Yeah, I think it maybe ruins you sexually, kind of permanently. I know that the famous case of it is fucking Alan Turing, right? The guy who is in that movie... The Imitation Game. And basically he broke the German codes for the Brits in World War II and probably helped win the war a lot faster. After the war, he was found to be a homosexual and he was given the choice between chemical castration

and a prison sentence or something like that. And he chose the former and killed himself a couple years later. It's a real sad story. It says here that chemical castration, most experts think it's reversible. So it's almost like you have to continue going for these upkeep treatments in order to keep it active. Well, we could always go with physical castration. I didn't know that that was how it worked. That's what I thought you said.

That's why I laughed. Yeah, man. Have you ever seen a farm animal be castrated? Yes. They have this device. It looks like a large set of... It operates kind of like a large set of pliers, but when you squeeze, four prongs,

I'm pointing toward the camera, separate like this, and when they do, they're spreading a very powerful rubber band. Like nothing you've ever seen before. It starts this tiny, but it stretches it out big enough to put over the bull's testicles, and then they release it, and it tightens over them,

cuts the blood supply off, and they fall off after a few days or whatever. The ones I watched were in the moment. Pin them down, cut them off, cauterize it, and let them back up. It was like for calves. Yeah, that's pretty inhumane. I'd always seen the rubber bands used. Yeah, that's really humane. What do you guys feel about animal cruelty?

I really dislike animal cruelty. Bold position, yet so brave. Yeah, yeah. I saw somebody punch a dog the other day and I said, hey, thumbs down to that. If this were a YouTube video, I'd share it

and say, get a load of this guy. Sadistic people in general are kind of scary. I don't understand sadism, the enjoyment from infliction of pain, whether it be on an animal or a person. You always hear that the first step for psychos and killers was often torturing animals. And I'll read those. I'm sort of fascinated with those situations. So I've read a lot of Wikipedia articles and watched a lot of documentaries on Netflix.

I think that's part of the human condition. Like we want to know what the fringe is thinking, what makes them do that. Yeah, and it hurts me almost as much to hear what they did to animals in their neighborhood as it does to hear what they did to their human victims. It's just fucked. In terms of sadistic people, there's a thing that's common that I don't get to hear what they did to animals in their neighborhood as it does to hear what they did to their human victims. It's just fucked.

In terms of sadistic people, there's a thing that's common that I don't get. People laugh when other people get injured. I see that a lot. They think it's hilarious to see someone fall down the stairs. Well, that's physical comedy. If it's physical comedy, that's a little different, but these are real people, not actors and stuntmen. I think

part of it, like, laughter can be a fear response. I have a counterpoint. I have a counterargument to what you just said. You're so serious. Go ahead, bro. Let's queue up at zero. Kyle, I'm going to give you three minutes, then what do you get? Three for a bottle? Kyle, I'll give you three minutes to paste this link. I have some

violence here, and I dare you to not laugh. I'm ready to start at any time. Yeah. Did he post a link? I did. Yeah, a while ago. Oh, a while ago. At 9-11?

It's at 9-11? It's 9-11 now. I don't know. I mean, it says 9-11 next, so I don't know how. Oh, I just 9-11 now. I don't know. I mean, it says 9-11 next, so I don't know how. Oh, I just got it. Okay. I don't know what to say. Oh, I thought it was the time.

You're going to want some audio for this. Got you. All right. I'm queued up at zero. Do you want to count it down? Is Chiz ready? I'm not getting any notifications he said yep

he said yup in chat he typed it okay I'm having some delay in chat okay well yeah three three two one play

alright the woman's starting on the ground with no pants on I think she's throwing. She's throwing. She spit. counterpoint rejected that wasn't a good i i could have probably got a better example than that that was bad man i felt like she deserved that slap, and she got that slap.

That's a real pussy pass denied moment. That was not a slap, though. That was like a meaty part, palm of the hand, where like, you know when you watch those slap competitions, but one guy like hits with this part of his hand, and you can knock him out? And she was also turned totally away. He's also a larger man, and she's a,

well, she's a fat woman, but that's like all all fat it's not like she's like you know surprisingly buff or something i don't like that i don't like that it's hard to like it it's hard to support this guy i hear where you're coming from i can't support her either and i would i do think you should pick a side i think you can't just say you you know what? They both made some mistakes. There's no room for nuance in the world. I mean, Mr. Gamerbag over there, you have slapped a hole before. Okay? So I feel like you can get inside this guy's head for a moment.

I was 13. She picked on me for months. Aaron, you don't know this story, but let me tell it in fast forward. No, let me know. ari you don't know this story but let me tell it fast forward no let me let me go so uh on the walk back from gym class freshman year in gym we would just run all the time we'd run and we walked from the track back to high school and this would be like an eight minute walk or something and the whole time painting it's fuzzy she picked on me relentlessly relentlessly usually talking about how gay i was she uh i hadn't hit puberty yet and i had these wide hips so she'd do this thing you know about me and uh

it was just non-stop abuse i couldn't get past it and and i would not talk to her i would just like look straight ahead and stuff then she'd be like coming at me from the sides just talking about how gay i was not touching me just, just words. But it was brutal. No, she was so hot. She was so popular. And I was none of these things. She was dating a junior as a freshman, and he was captain of the wrestling team. Sounds like a movie, man.

Yeah, right? So he was one of the lower weight classes, but still. So he was one of the lower weight classes, but still. So anyway, one day, like in some misguided attempt to stick up for myself, I told her, talk like that will get you slapped. I don't know. It's what I said. He'd heard that at home plenty of times. So for the rest of that walk, it was like, slap me, slap me, slap me. you're a pussy slap me slap me slap me and i didn't and then the next day same thing now i'm no longer gay

and female shaped i'm just slap me slap me you're a pussy you won't do it you won't do it you big man slap me slap me and oh my god right i wound up with the backhand that started down here and came and just like you were starting a lawnmower you know just that much momentum panic wrong yeah you back this girl right hey his anger backhand is disrespect yeah i didn't even know that but uh but i'm fine with it and and and she held her face and it was cold out it was like december or something straight out of a movie this girl was like i said beautiful blonde etc and she had the like the five fingers on her face as clear as could be and uh it was kind of an instant regret and kind of a like what am i supposed to do it's been three months now you know

like i i didn't have i didn't have any words that were gonna stop her they say ignore it'll go away you had no recourse you really didn't people have no idea how determined jerk off teenagers can be like it doesn't stop so answer me this did she mess with you after that her boyfriend uh her her did she bully you after that no um i would she was like the most one of the most popular girls in school and in the best clicks so there were some ramifications in that like you know other really pretty girls would be like two years ago you hit my friend so you know is what it is you know i think in my internet so so just that the boyfriend i found out she was dating the captain the wrestling team i didn't know this already and people were like i was like oh my god what's he

look like who is he what's his name and they, he's competing today. So he'll be wearing a tie. They were like a button down shirt and a tie on game day. And, uh, I'm eating lunch and sure enough, he comes up to me and he's like, you slapped Jen, didn't you? And I'm like, yeah, you know, like, what do we do now? And he's like, I know how she is sometimes. Never do that again. Yeah. And I was like, I accept those terms, you know? That's all you need right there, though. Yeah.

Because he's a nice guy. I agree. I agree. He could have done anything he wanted to me. Yeah. You ever check up on him you know post high school no they're definitely not together

with that attitude I bet that guy's a fucking winner I bet you look him up and he's a real Chad my suspicion is there's more to it than I know how she is sometimes I bet some I bet somewhere along the way he got the whole truth like I just laid it out there that he knew that it had been months of her picking on me and just felt like I didn't need more picking on.

I'm not like a super – I don't believe in hitting women at all. But in instances like that where they're just in your face and just do it, do it, do do it do it like all of that shit like i'm not i'm not inclined to tell you yeah go ahead and hit a woman i'm just saying you can't expect as a woman not to get hit if it's months over time you can't expect that that's exactly what whoopi goldberg said yeah did she said it she said the exact same thing pretty much verbatim like i don't understand it there was a guy on a subway wearing an eight-ball jacket that was getting picked on like that. Do you remember this part? He has a bit of a speech impediment.

He's black and she's black and they're on the subway. And she is roasting him in front of her friends and pushing him around. I don't remember if she was slapping him. But she's making fun of his jacket and shitting on this guy on the subway like it's high school. And these people are like 25 years old. And he's like 6'4". He popped her a good one. His pimp hand was strong.

And Whoopi Goldberg was like, hey, you can't count on men to just take your abuse like that. She might have hit him first. I'm not abuse like that. She might've hit him first. I, I'm not positive about that. Isn't it nice like in public when you see those situations about to go down where like a woman who's with her man starts talking shit to a man. It's like just some other dude, like with that idea of like,

Oh, my man's going to jump in and take me like have my back and all this. And then her guy just shuts it down. And it's like, Hey, watch your mouth. Like, stop,

stop trying to start shit. I love seeing that kind of thing in public. Only seen it a couple of times. Usually the men are so dumb that they'll actually jump in like Mr. White Knight. Like, Oh my, my dumb ass girl started a fight.

Now I got to defend her honor. When the smart thing is like, no, don't, don't you be starting fights on behalf of me. You bitch. Yeah. Oh, no, don't you be starting fights on behalf of me, you bitch. Yeah. Oh, thank you.

So to go back, there are instances where pain is funny, and you can't help but laugh. I want to watch this. Yeah, let's watch it. I'm hoping... Has it been a long time since you've seen this? Okay, yeah, it has. I haven't seen this in forever so uh i just i kind of queued it go ahead queue it up at 35 seconds i want you to listen to this woman afterwards i hope

it is hilarious she's in pain family guy made fun of it remember that just can you confirm that you're ready For people that don't know I'm on vacation Learning to train new pilots And getting tandem certified So Chiz is producing the show Alright 3, 2, 1

Play play yo that's funny to you oh that's funny she can't breathe no no i'm not laughing at the fact that she can't breathe, right? And this is one of those things, like, I feel bad for laughing, but I'm still laughing. It's because it's kind of like her fault, right? Like, she said stop, and then she kept going. And she's doing the stupidest white person thing of all time, am I right? Like, you would never see a black woman up on that little podium stomping around some grapes that was some stupid shit to be doing why are they so high up that doesn't make any extreme grape stomping well what is this they're making i like her really silly level of confidence

of like hustling doing the grape stomping right before she fucks it up. That's not what she felt. Did you see it? Yeah, she like clipped the edge of the bucket. She had to get out. She had to stop and squish a little more. I think, I'm just not sure. I think maybe the grapes are dripping into some sort of, like through a strain.

And that's why it's high up. I don't know why she had to be feet up. It seems like they could do that at 12 high up i don't know why she had to be feet up it seems like they could do that at 12 inches but i don't want any wine that someone's been stepping on with their dirty ass feet this is an ancient rome we got better ways was there was there ever any um update status on her because that was a serious fall does anybody ever know what happened to the great lady? Oh, she died. Now she has somebody else helping her with her wine. That'd be fucked if she died

and we'd be just laughing at her. So if she died, I'm going to feel like super shit. Oh no, she didn't die. It sounds like she got the wind knocked out of her. I sound like a broken neck. That's what I initially thought. I think she just fell hard. That's what I initially thought.

I think she just fell hard. I've screamed like that before. This happened about five months ago. I was in Portland visiting my girlfriend's family. They have a ski and snowboarding place up there. I had never been snowboarding before in my life.

This is my first time in the snow, really. Like, doing things on it. I know what happened to her. Oh, yeah, tell me what happened to her first. Would you like to know? I just looked it up. Please, that just sounds awful. So the deal with the extra going,

it was a great pastopping contest. I think they were measuring how much they got, and she cheated and got a few extra in. And so that's what that was. She says this, I was embarrassed that I fell. I broke a couple of ribs. I had to spend a few weeks under hospital observation.

I suffered quite a bit for an honest mistake, a momentary lapse of concentration. I'm trying to move on. Cheater. Cheater. Cheaters never prosper, bitch. Enjoy the ER while I hold my great stuff and trophy yeah that's funny i thought i'd stop by and just see how you're doing

oh this well after i beat you in the preliminary round i went on to win yeah that's hilarious man oh no so um so so i'm i'm i'm fresh on the slopes if that's what they call them uh my first my first time and the first hour i couldn't even stand up like i was like i would stand up and then fall i would stand up and then fall i would go a couple feet and then fall like i couldn't do anything but then my athleticism, my genes kicked in and I started doing my thing. I was doing turns and I was

really riding that thing. I started feeling myself way too much. Yeah, this is coming. We went up the mountain. You got the confidence? Yeah. We went up this hill like two or three times so i started to understand the terrain well we went and this is what happened i almost there was like

this little little bump and it made me switch into like a southpaw and i switched fast and then switched back but i did a 360 and i was like i am this i'm the fucking man on the snowboard uh started feeling myself saw a metal rail and i was like i'm grinding this shit so i was i was really feeling myself i was like all you do is grind it's like whatever i hop up on there and i just i don't know why i thought i'm going to split it. But in doing so, I guess my snowboard caught something on the rail, and I flipped forward, and I landed straight on my ribs. God damn. I heard a crack, but I couldn't breathe for a good, like,

I would say about an hour. I was like, doing that there. Couldn't breathe. And I had to go to the hospital. They had to let a little snowmobile. I rode on amobile i couldn't move it was the worst oh you had to lay there and wait in like the shame lane while the snowmobile picked you oh it wasn't even a shame lane i was hovered over the rail on my knees with the snowboard attached and my guy had to i was it was my girlfriend's brother he detaches from his snowboard has to climb up the mountain to

go get help and have him come out as his funniest shit ever how old are you huh how old are you this was six this five months ago bro i had already been on p i love picturing you going down like oh this is tough no i got it i got it look at that rail i was in the fucking n. You don't think I could grind a rail? The confidence was, I was feeling myself for sure. Went to the hospital and I got a whole bunch of x-rays and stuff. And as time went and the drugs kicked in, I started to feel a little better. But they didn't have, there was no, I was surprised there was no broken ribs because I couldn't, I couldn't feel it.

There was swollen, I was swollen and shit, but luckily I didn't break anything so I feel the grape blade even. Was there more pain or embarrassment? Pain. At that point, I couldn't give a shit what anybody thought. I just wanted to breathe. Was that worse than any pain you experienced playing?

No. No? No. It was just one thing. Um, no, no, no. Cause it was just one, it was just one thing like, um, after, and it wouldn't be the day of the game. Right. So it's a whole bunch of those hits over the course of three hours. And so you'd, you'd wake up the next day, just body throbbing.

Okay. Like I remember vividly this memory always sticks in my mind we played it's 2012 we played chicago and it was raining it was at chicago cold as shit was raining so we couldn't throw the ball so it was one of those games where you had to just hand it off and i had like 29 carries and this was like when the bears defense was really good um and my body just got beat the fuck up it I was just beat up. And the next day I woke up, and it took me literally like three minutes to walk to my bathroom, which is like five minutes away.

I was like, I couldn't move. It was the worst feeling I've ever had. You read a five-minute walk in three minutes? I think that's just how I heard that story. Like five feet away? It was like five feet away. So next morning I bust over there at 60% of normal time.

Big house, by the way. Does there ever get to a point in those games where they're like, alright, we're handing it off to Arian again. And you're sitting there like, fuck. Oh, 100%. What about the pullback? I remember one time...

Never would they do that. But I remember one time. Never would they do that. But I remember one time we were in some, it was a short yardage play, actually. And we had a play called, and on this particular play, the quarterback couldn't audible. And the safety rotated down, so there's eight in the box, but they stacked the side that we're running to. And I know we can't audible and the safety rotated down so there's eight in the box but they stacked the side that we're running to and i know we can't audible and i'm looking back i'm i'm staring at the quarterback hoping he looks back i'm like dog you better get out of this play like get out of this play he called it and i just curled up it is you knew it was coming yeah shit hurts man oh that's gotta be a not fun thing about playing football is like seeing them line up and being like, oh, well, well, we got to do it.

You know, but this is a losing battle. Exactly. Do you ever like, no, I don't know. It's Saturday or something. You know that tomorrow is the day and you know that that guy is a player who plays to injure or something like that. Safety is mean spirited or they all just mean spirited. Like, do you ever think this lineup sucks that you're about to go again? Yeah, you know, because you watch film.

And so it's kind of your job to know the other personnel so you know what guys are assholes, you know what guys are good sports or whatever. And, I mean, as you play, as you get further along in your career, you've played against these guys before. So you develop a mutual respect. And for the most part, if you're like a pro bowler, people respect you a little more than just like a new guy,

and you feel that off top. So as I went along in my career, you get more mutual respect. But there are still some guys out there who, I mean, I've had my ankles twisted under piles, punched in. A whole bunch of stupid shit. Eyes poked. It's really corny. Eyes poked? Yeah corny. Eyes poked?

Yeah, that's the thing. I remember when the Eagles played the Cowboys, all of them showed up with visors because it was like a thing they did to the Eagles. They're rivals. Captain Insano shows no mercy. Captain Insano. And I never understood that either

because I'm like, okay, we're both out here. Okay, we love the sport. But do you really care that much about who wins the game where you're really going to take my eye from me? What are you doing? You're insane. That's fucked. You see that in mixed martial arts, and I really dislike it.

I feel like the fighters who do that are doing themselves a real disservice because I immediately, I remember every fighter who's ever done something dirty and I saw it, and I have a real disservice. Because I immediately, I remember every fighter who's ever done something dirty, and I saw it, and I have a hatred for them. I want them to get their asses beaten. And even preferably, I hope they don't get signed to a fight.

Because I don't even want them to make money getting their ass beat. I'm like, I don't want to see you fight again, Durandamy, because you fucking hit late at the end of the round. I don't want to see you fight whoever, Eye-Poking Joe. It's's just i don't like that you're right of

course but i used to want to give him a championship shot right now i went the other way it was like that motherfucker just held that you know sub too long yeah or put him against someone else right oh there's that but it was like i want the biggest, baddest guy in the UFC to show this guy where he really stands. That was always my, you know. Yeah, they,

you know, they fight with their hands up and you'll see the guy, they sort of do this and keep distance and they're just throwing those fingers and Jon Jones' fingers

are probably fucking twice as long as mine. They're coming out like, like this or something like that and he's just keeping you at distance and if you try to like step in or something,

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I hope that's his real name. That's what he goes by on the internet. That seems a little too convenient. It does, doesn't it? But maybe because his name growing up was Paul Flart, he really embraced being the fart guy. I'm going with that. Which one do we want to start with?

We want to start with the top one. It's called Paul Flart, the farting security guard. This guy documented his farts and uploaded them over the course of many months. Big expect. Are we all queued up? Yes. Ready, set, play. There's little facial expressions afterward

how in the in the same place but in the course of how many how much time has six months of farts we're watching, these are the ones that made the cuts. Do you notice he... I assume he has the whole mall at his fingertips and he keeps choosing this bank or something. I think this is his little alcove. Yeah, this post.

Jesus. I get the gist of it. This could have been a five second video. Yeah, that's the gist. So that's enough of the farting. So I guess. He's starting to give us like weird eye contact now too. Yeah.

I, it turns out that his employers were not thrilled with his online fame as the fart master. And this is him going to meet his boss because his boss has discovered his fart montage. This is number two? Yes, sir. Are we starting right at the beginning? I think so, because he kind of lays it out. Maybe we'll skip if it seems like we're missing something or it's too much. Okay, I'm ready. Only two minutes anyway.

Ready, set, play. Thank you. he's live streaming this hmm i love it a fart attorney a flatulence magistrate flatulence at law what are you the poop police? One of the comments, it's okay, Flart. We're here for you. We're like, fart, fart. What should he be using? His sphincter?

I think it's because he's got the uniform on, maybe. This will sully the good name of mall cops. Right? We love the job guys I love that he's like stop recording thanks guys, fart man here no, we're on our property, the farts will continue

you have to stop this right now I'm getting pissed off, fart man will live on forever I am following him right now. I'm getting pissed off. Fart man will live on forever. I am following him right now. There's a point where he's like, turn off the camera. You're firing me anyway, right?

You have no power here. Silly witch. You have no power here. He's just recording. Yeah, I'm following him on Instagram. I have to. You gotta get on that fart train. Yeah, I'm following him on Instagram. I have to. I don't have a job. You got to get on that fart train. 41,000 people.

I'm joining. Shout out to Paul Flart, man. I hope that he somehow makes a supplemental living, at the very least, from his flatulence. I mean, when you have a job like Mall Cop, which you're taking seriously enough that you make six-month fart compilations, you can't be that upset when you get fired. Like, he probably knew this was on the horizon. He didn't seem worried, did he? No.

He can go be a Mall Cop somewhere else. It's not like there's a database. It's literally just... Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. Just over and over and over. Yeah, Arian just opened up his Instagram or his Twitter or something.

It's just like a full page of his face and I'm sure a fart. That is hilarious. This guy's great. I choose to believe his name is Paul Flart. Yeah. I hope he starts a whole campaign like those ladies did in New York, like Free the Nipple, where they wanted to be able to go topless like men and be... I hope he starts a whole campaign like those ladies did in New York, like Free the Nipple, where they wanted to be able to go topless like men. I hope he

frees the fart. It's a biological function. If a woman can breastfeed on the street, then I can fart on that baby. Dude, they're like... The Free the Nipple thing is the absolute dumbest thing in the world where they'll act like there's a ton

of pushback. All these men out there don't want us with our tits out in public and it's like who who and where like point me to one of them everybody's fine with it like it's like shrew old women who are like put your tit back in stop doing that here like men don't really seem to care i thought that was for like breastfeeding i thought that wasn't that for breastfeeding or am i in my mission oh yeah for breastfeeding too but like it's mostly the women who care about that too she's gone for that whole section yeah yeah she just told us that he was gonna be right back but we didn't see it so it if if you want to quickly like see what we just saw the um i think the cleanest way to like fix that because we're

i don't think we should just re-watch the fucking video. One of them is called Paul Flart. It's YouTube. Viral fame cost him his job. That's the one where he got fired. It's got 1,200 views. The YouTube channel is the calligraphy community, apparently. As it should be.

Everyone wants, I don't know, Big Bang with the laugh track removed? Yes, it's garbage. How stupid were we just with, like, the laugh track with the video removed? You know, just occasionally laughing at some guy. We are quite the fools. But if you want to bring me to that little

confusing situation that you just had, the Calligraphy Community is the YouTube channel. Rewind the show 30 seconds, play those for yourself, and you'll see what we saw. It's our fault. We just didn't see that Chiz said he was going to be right back. It's clearly right there, but, you know,

Skype chat's weird. That's okay. Well, I have another video we could watch for real. This time. And it's also very short. I know people don't like when we string together too many videos, but technically we're not stringing them together because you didn't hear this is a this is a new thing we're gonna do until i forget next week it's called uh the pka whore of the week and so what this woman did is she invited dozens, if not like a hundred, of unsuspecting men on Tinder in order to get them all to congregate and meet in the same place. And then she gets up on a stage with a mic, and that's when the video begins.

So we can queue up there. This is narcissism at its finest. Oh, you haven't even seen the video. You guys are almost ready. I have an advertisement. Hold on one second. This one's very short, guys.

Only a minute 45. Y'all don't have advertisements? What's going on? I got adblock. What is adblock? Do you use Google Chrome or are you using Safari because it's Apple? It probably doesn't matter. Safari. Who's more technically sophisticated? what is adblock do you use google chrome or are you using safari because it's apple it probably doesn't matter

who's more technically sophisticated my mom or arian foster easily your mom alexa what's up with these fucking ads that's how I get paid advanced AI is not cheap. All right, I think I'm queued up. All right.

All right, everybody ready? Yes. All right, count it down, Kyle. Three, two, one, play. A crowd of all men grows in front of an empty stage Sunday night. Hundreds of bachelors wait in Union Square, for one woman my name is natasha do you have what it takes to win a date with me plenty of outstanding away but the hundreds who stay are sorted no beer bellies no long beards oh swiped through guys were just lining up in a in a line and see it was just like left, right, left, right.

23-year-old Eliezer Marte jumped in. I thought it was an elaborate joke at that point for all these guys, but not me. Marte says he matched with Natasha on Tinder and she invited him out. My friend is DJing a free outdoor show in Manhattan. I was going to say hi, then you and I could go get a drink or something and see what happens. All the thousands of guys that she hoodwinked, she used the same script. Poor dude. He looks like an Enzo. Aww. Aww. Some guys were holding flowers. A lot of guys were very excited to see this woman who is a con artist and a duplicitous liar.

Natasha, a self-proclaimed model, singer, and actress, has since made her social media accounts private. A representative for the woman denied our request for an interview but told me she organized this to show the

harassment women face in online dating by flipping the gender roles. She wanted attention, and she got it. Whatever her intention, the stunt left a sour taste for many young bachelors. Meeting people in person is probably going to be the way to go for a while. Her rep says Natasha did pick a winner. We'll have to wait and see if their love lasts.

In Union Square, Ali Bauman, CBS 2 News. Yo. Yeah, I like the way the one dude handled it where he's like, she's a duplicitous liar who wanted detention. But I felt so much empathy for the other dude who was like, how are you gonna feel about going on dates from here on out? And he's like, honestly, it's gonna be a little bit. Her narcissism was so great, it eclipsed even the thought that it might impact other people there, that they were all spending time.

They brought flowers. They were all anticipating a date and all for her to pump her ego and be like, I wanted men to feel what it's like on Tinder. It's like, bitch, the fact that you were able to do this shows that it is women who are able to do this on Tinder. You think if Kyle spent all day for a week scheduling dates that he'd be able to arrange a hundred of them in a public place and they'd show up bearing gifts?

If so, you're even dumber than I thought. You really gotta lower your standards. You're a terrible person, man. You're a piece of shit. You should go to bed every night thinking, man, what value do I bring to the world? And then you should look in the mirror and go, oh, damn it, nothing. Nothing. You're an asshole. That's a little but she's a were you in that

hold on were you were you in that crowd bro oh i flew all the way to what was this like vancouver or something yeah new york baby i'm not i'm not mad at it now that i i see the full story i'll tell you i can i finish yeah? Yeah. Let me explain myself. This is why I'm not mad at it. Like, all it really is, it's swiping in real life. They're just mad that they actually saw her go like this. That's all it is. But, like, they saw it.

She's swiping in real life. She is, but she's skipping a step because she already told these people hey the swiping part is over you're gonna come and we're gonna have a nice dinner and we'll talk it was a social experiment right if you take it out of the context of your ego and i'll tell you why those dudes are so mad because like yo she looks good and i have a shot so they was upset that they got hoodwinked from that aspect from that aspect i understand that frustration but if you take your ego out of it and realize it was a social experiment and she was just swiping in real life it's actually kind of dope i'm not mad at it anymore oh dude like the only ego that needs it is it is narcissistic it is it is but it's more than that it's hurtful there are real people

on the other side of this that didn't have to be hurt, yet she did it for her own ego. She did it because she thought it'd be funny or she could make a viral video. She did it for herself. She hurt people for her personal gain. She did it to show how desirable she is. Wow, you can bring a group of people over here just by lying and implying that you're really interested. Well, of course you can do that. There was an assumption of trust in the engagement you were in, and you lied.

There's victims involved here. I mean, victims, what are you? All right, so look. Oh, Arian. Hit me out, hit me out, hit me out, hit me out. You spent a lifetime buff as college stuff. I want to hear Arian's point of view. I'm with you. I'm of view. I'm with you.

I'm with you. I'm with you. Here's my... If she would not have picked a winner, I would say you had a point. But she went there with the intent of finding somebody who she enjoyed as a human, and she found that guy.

So, like I said, all it was was a social experiment all all it was was it was the it was those dudes ego saying i can't believe you did that to me that's all it was no but see like i think that you're not saying i'm not saying i'm not saying she's correct that's what i'm saying i'm not saying i agree with her actions i would never do no shit like that all i'm saying is after seeing the full picture i'm, I don't have any heinous towards her. I'm like, I see what you did there. I mean, obviously the hate I'm showing is totally pumped up for the show.

I don't care that much. But I also don't think this is an issue of ego for the guys there. I think that you're taking what it is is self-respect. If you don't have a bit of a frontedness and feel like, what the fuck, you're going to treat me this poorly, then it's not ego. It's, oh, I guess I do deserve to be walked all over and treated badly. So I see this as an issue of, oh, so there's

no mutual respect here? You lied to me. Implied that there was some sort of mutual respect and understanding. And now you've shown that you couldn't have cared any less, and this was all to give you the attention you want. So I think it was those guys reacting with their self-respect. And you can see that guy's self-respect was crushed, where he was like, man, I guess I do kind of deserve that. I'm going to be more hesitant before I trust people.

I would venture to say that his self-respect was crushed before that episode. I have a thing. This couldn't have helped him. I don't want to put myself in any of his head. I think that's impolite. to Halpton. I don't want to put myself in Arian's head. I think that's impolite. But I think it's possible that I put myself in one of the

loser's shoes and he puts himself in the winner's shoes and says, hey, so long as there's a winner, what's the problem here? Because that would be me. And it might be because you're Arian Flippin' Foster, right? But most people aren't. I like where you went with that.

But it is a mentality, though, right? It is a mentality. How about this, Aaron? Go ahead. How about you show up in that crowd and she says... I need you here. I need you right here. And no blacks.

No blacks. Or she says that. I'd have been like... And keep in mind, she already told you she's interested. She swiped on you. That means... It just means you don't want to have that much fun. That's all that means.

No, because I guess this is why I'm not as... I deal with rejection really well. And maybe it's partly my ego, right? So my rejection... I never had rejection issues because... And to your point, Woody, I understand what you're saying to a certain extent. i was little i didn't i was a late bloomer because i was a class uh above where i was supposed to be so like i graduated at 17 years old so i hit pu i was late bloomer in general but i hit puberty late right so i feel it bro so the girls went after the guys with the

beards and the deep voices and i was still walking around like this right and so and so i i understand rejection to a certain extent but as a man as a grown man on a dating app you have to have a little bit of yo this is still the internet right like i guess i guess i just walk around with a little bit more reality than a guy who feels really rejected from an internet woman. I've been catfished before. I wasn't upset with her. I was like, well played. Wait, what?

You were catfished? Well played. Was it an ugly girl pretending to be a pretty girl or was it a man pretending to be a girl? I still don't know. It was a man. It probably was, but I smelled something fishy. Things weren't adding up after a while, and I was like, you got me.

That's cool. But there was no heinousness towards him. On the Howard Stern show, there's a guy. Oh, what's it? It's drunk fucking. God, I can't believe I can't think of the guy's name. It doesn't matter. But in his spare time, he's a disgusting human being being he has a dead arm basically but that's not the worst

thing about him at all he's a he's a lifelong alcoholic and he's really gross and he slurs his speech and he's disgusting human being well he does like um he's got a bit of uh jeff the drunk that's who it is if you want to look this guy up he does it like a like like podcast and stuff because he has fame because he's like a caller on the Howard Stern show and he goes into the studio sometimes and makes appearances and stuff. Well, guys will catfish him on a regular basis and he'll masturbate on video for them. And so then the day comes on the Stern show where they realize this and like guy after guy calls in and they're like hey you remember remember tina the the princess from louisiana that's what you called me yeah that's me bro that's me i was just sending you pictures i found online you you wanked it for me

nice job and and just like guy after guy is like the same fucking thing it's fucking hilarious just just catfished it so interesting good i mean like if fool me once shame on you fool me a dozen or more times catfishing shame on him yeah i agree so yeah then that's a little bit different still funny trying to understand the incentive of the dudes that keep trying to catfish him see that's what i don't get it's like i proved he was a fool by tricking an alcoholic with one arm into masturbating for me and i watched and it's like well he's sort of i guess you won this engagement sir he's an annoying guy he's a real kind of scumbag like like they had they had a contest one time where they tell this pretty girl they're like all right i may have the numbers wrong but

you get five thousand dollars if you can remain handcuffed to jeff the drunk for it was either 24 or 48 hours it might have been like a whole weekend she didn't make it she didn't make it but like like he passed out in the street at one point he passed out like in in new york like he's like in the gutter passed out and she's like standing there next to him like what the fuck he's wasted drunk passed out and the cameraman won't help because his job is to operate a camera like he's taking a shit with her chain to him like just being a disgusting human being you're wearing pink let me free yeah what a weird she needed the money too so it was even darker she wasn't looking for like still couldn't put up with it. Yeah, it's fucked.

You know what's even more mean-spirited than that horrible wench who tricked those poor people? Is the most mean-spirited criminal in history who broke into a water park, stole all of the funnel cakes, and left the freezer door open for all the ice cream to melt. And so there were just huge groups of distraught children who were planning on like a nice day and they go there, sorry, no Ferris wheel. Sorry, no funnel cakes. It's terrible.

How petty. Like you don't even get anything out of it except for a bunch of funnel cakes. Like funnel cake, it's just deep fried dough covered in sugar that you drip't even get anything out of it except for a bunch of funnel cakes. Funnel cake is just deep fried dough covered in sugar that you drip into a fry. There's definitely a law of diminishing returns there. How many funnel cakes do you need?

None. All of them. I love funnel cakes. They're so good. But if you ever tried to eat one nine minutes after instead of right away, it turns into like... Who waits nine minutes after instead of right away, it turns into like – Who waits nine minutes after you buy a funnel cake?

Who can? If you steal a thousand of them, what are you going to do? Just be wolfing them down and then throw the rest away? He stole the batter. He stole the ingredients. There's no way. Obviously, this was an inside job. It's heavy inside job, right?

Man, this funnel cake is so delicious. I need a thousand of them. Yeah, like who – I have this diabolical I need a thousand of them. Yeah. Like who? Like, I have this diabolical plan, bro. All right. Are you ready for this? We're going to fucking steal funnel cake. Like somebody who used to work there, obviously.

Now we got to get to scoop Tony in on this. He's done this job a hundred times. Aaron, I have a question for you too. All right. So, so my theory is that like when you're at work with your wife or i guess girlfriend in this case it's not that you're being fake it's that there's more than one version of you right you know the version of you that's in the locker room might be like i made up work i forgot you don't work but uh hey i guess no i'm just trying to get trying to get the that's where i was headed. How is the podcast version of you different than the other?

Are you any different on the podcast? You must be a little. Are you a little wilder, a little more hyped up, a little funnier, a little perspective? No, I think that's the beauty about – not statistically. I think that's the beauty about, narcissistically, I think that's the beauty about my podcast is that it's genuinely me. I think there are aspects of it

I'm probably a little more introspective on, whereas if we're sitting down talking, I'm more careful with how I speak publicly. I try to use vernacular. I was going to say vernacular. I would never say that if I'm sitting down on the couch with you and you were chilling at the house. But I try, because I believe, I believe in a certain sense about presentation. presentation. I believe that how you talk is like a window to your worldview. And so,

publicly anyway. And so, I'm kind of cognizant of how I talk. I'm a little bit more, like I said, I'm a little bit more introspective. I don't sit around and philosophize with the people i love all day every day but conversations do come up and it comes out so it's genuinely me but i it's it's more me on a podcast so like i'm just a little bit more introspective i i like to dig a little deeper whereas in regular life when i'm chilling with my girl it we definitely have those conversations but there's a lot uh more ebonics that goes on okay yeah that's interesting because on this show we're shallow and unthinking welcome to pka i'm a much worse person here than i am in real life i could i could tell i could tell in real, I'm courteous. If I saw her and that woman

who tricked all those people in real life, I wouldn't be like, you, you heretic, you evil person. I'd be like, hey, that was kind of shitty. You know? No. Everybody punches it up or dulls themselves in some way. I think

dulls themselves, actually, that's dumb. Everybody punches it up. Listen to shows like Stern or O dulls themselves or in some way i think dulls themselves actually that's dumb like everybody punches it up right like listen to shows like stern or opie and anthony back in the day you can tell how those shows have influenced the entire podcasting world today like the whole sit around and shoot the shit format like that's why it was so wildly popular in the mid 2000s or early 2000s late 90s yeah i guess before that that's what i've kind of learned like in the middle of my podcasting career i guess you could call it is is that i forget sometimes because i i do honestly just want to have a genuine conversation with one of my guests or whatever the case may be um that i forget it's entertainment that people are watching this to be entertained and uh granted there are different

forms of entertainment but uh and and and you know i let the conversation kind of do what it whatever it whatever it does but um it's you have to account for that and so like where when i was in in the nfl i could not care less about what my fans thought about me or anything i said or whatever the case may be. When you run a podcast, that's your audience. Like they're your consumers. So you have to care. So I actually pay attention to more of my fans now than when I did when I played.

You know, you say it's entertainment, but I don't think it's just entertainment. I think there's three things a podcast does. It's entertain, inform, or connect, right? And if you're doing one of those, it sounds like maybe if that's a stool, the connect leg is the strongest one there. But that doesn't make it bad. It's just your focus. No, you're right. And that's why I said there are different forms of entertainment. I think it's still entertainment, even if you're connecting with somebody, you're still entertaining yourself in a way. That's why i never like totally hated football fans because i understood that in in a sense i was actually helping them get through their their day they're they're they're

watching me three hours a day on a sunday just like man let me just get some relief from whatever the fuck i have going on so it's kind of in a sense the same thing did you ever things that the that the fans did that like was more than just like incorrect incorrect critiquing of your play style or something or like that really upset you throughout your career i just noticed how like you said like sometimes you wouldn't really yeah what really hurts or i was curious like what what would bother you like during your career was it stuff like oh what a stupid bonehead move he did uh you know in the third quarter xyz or was it other kind of stuff i think that bothered me more in college than it did in the pros uh but then you grow from

that you realize they're just passionate or they don't really know what they're talking about so you kind of just dismiss it what pissed me off really in my career was the personal jabs like if anything happened with me off the field like they was the personal jabs. If anything happened with me off the field, they'll bring it up. So it's like I had this huge off the field issue with, I can't get into it because of legal things, but I had this huge off the field issue, and they would bring that up almost as like an ad hominem. It doesn't matter what i say or what i do or how i perform that's always i always came into play um and that's really when my i had a like a shift in in in how i thought about fandom in in general uh people who weren't fans like it if you met someone and they're like

i don't really do football yeah were you more inclined to be like a better good with them i used to love that yeah yeah people like i'm sorry i have no idea who you are i don't follow football i'm like my dog let me ask you this question and i've heard someone be i'm hoping it wasn't you that i already had this discussion with it's it's hard to forget when you do hundreds of hours of this it's hard to remember um but some people feel like when you're in sort of a position of power, when you're an athlete or a celebrity of some kind, that you shouldn't leverage that with women. Now, I'm sure that you're a good looking guy, you're athletic, you clearly got... Thank you, sir. Oh, you're welcome. Anytime.

There's that to do too. And so I'm like your social media like like all you would have to do like like when you were single is go on there and be like yes and there'd be a good looking lady come over did you ever do that or did you feel like that was a no-no would you rather find a woman who was like well i don't really watch sports but that's cool right so i mean i could get into a little bit part of the little thing i had a skirmish i had off the field was i was married i got married for the wrong reasons and i got married for the wrong reasons i was nowhere near where to be i didn't understand that i didn't feel like that about the woman it was just um to try to keep my daughter in

the states right it just getting trying... Where's your wife from? She was from Germany. And so I saw my daughter every three months and I was like, I got to do the right thing. And one of my best friends, one of his favorite sayings is sometimes doing the right thing isn't the right thing. And so I did the right thing. And I was in the height of my career

and exactly what you said, I took full advantage of my status. As often as I was, I was what they would call a womanizer. I was in the height of my career. And exactly what you said, I took full advantage of my status. As often as I was. I was what they would call a womanizer. I was. Yeah. Now, do you regret that time? Or do you think that was sowing some wild oats so that now you can be the man you would want to be in your current relationship?

Exactly. So I don't really regret anything I've done except for getting married. But no, I I say jokingly, but it's like everything that I've been through has brought me up to this point. And I feel like I'm an extremely emotional, emotionally healthy human being right now. But it's because I went through so much turmoil emotionally and throughout my career, my that that i i've grown so much from so do i regret being a womanizer not necessarily because i it wasn't like i was a rapist i wasn't out here raping people it was all consent it was all consensual but i noticed the pattern for sure i would definitely prey on um emotionally vulnerable women they were a lot they were

the easier catch so so to speak. We have this thing called the Church of Kyle, because I'm pretty pro not getting into a permanent relationship early in life and really sowing those wild oats. And then if you really want to get married later in life, go for it. And they call it the Church of Kyle, right? Because it's a bit of a religion, and I am the Jesus Christ in this scenario. You, my friend, are John the Baptist. Taylor is Judas. He has turned on me. What did I do?

You are, I mean, in this analogy, you are, of the Church of Kyle, if he's John the Baptist, you are definitely Judas. Judas, you've definitely, you've come full circle. You got yourself a serious full-time girlfriend that I don't know if you've told her, but you clearly love that beautiful young lady that you've been seeing for months now. And you have these thoughts of like—

I think I see blushing on my computer. Oh, maybe a bit. Us goddamn fair-complected people can't hide how you feel if you're fair-skinned. Yeah, yeah. See right there. Taylor's in love. And you're thinking like, yeah, I would like to have children. I would like to have someone to look after me when I'm old.

I'd like to have a lineage, a legacy. I'd like to have a life partner when I'm 65 who I have memories that are decades old. And so you have become Judas. I mean, you paint that picture really beautifully, Kyle. I don't know. Dude, is that what's like? If that's Judas, then I'm happy to be Judas in that situation. In the church of Kyle, it's clearly Judas. You didn't betray me to the Romans or anything. There's no need to hang yourself with your own intestines or anything like that. I'm just saying in this analogy, you're definitely Judas. That's true. But like, it sounds like Judas gets to have kids and a loving family,

and 30 years from now you'll be able to have a nice family Christmas and see the children all around you having fun and everything, and the Pope of the Church of Kyle is going to end up putting a shotgun barrel in his mouth in a bathtub 30 years from now because he'll be like, it was all for nothing yeah that's exactly what you would say to the church exactly i've i've proven your point yeah 65 on trt just banging girls with daddy issues counterpoint yeah you ever see a 65 year old man with the testosterone of an 18 year old no that's a scary thought so if you decode kyle's language there was a compliment in there

i don't know if you i don't know if you yeah okay there was yeah he was picking up what he was throwing down but i was picking it up but if i pick it up it's not as funny and it's not it's not as uh heads pitted against one another yeah i mean the church of kyle works for kyle just like the mormons that is pants on head ridiculous but i used to live around a lot of mormons and i've never met a group of people as sweet and as truly genuinely considerate not. Not like, oh, I'm doing this to get brownie points with God. Like, they would give you the shirt off their back. Like, genuinely kind. Like, go to like a family function where there's a bunch of Mormons. Like, no beer, no Coca-Cola, but you got root beer.

So that part of it sucks because you can't have caffeine, no coffee. But they're just very, very kind people. So it's clearly working for them. Yeah, I can say that about a lot of religions. We trash religion a lot on the show, mostly because we see the negatives of it. We see the worst of it. We often have that as a topic, whether it's pedophile priests or with our polygamy or radicalism, the way that a religion can radicalize someone and make them form beliefs and ideas so strong that they outweigh anything else in life. Like normal human morality and humanity, they'll blow themselves up because they believe it's the way to go. But there's also another side to that coin, right?

Where communities are held together by churches many times. A lot of times that you'll have a hard time finding a more charitable group, I mean, in many cases than a church. You know, like if a church member, I can remember many times when like someone's husband died in the church. And like, of course, there was an endless supply of casseroles being supplied to that person. But there was also like, you know, talking private of like nancy's gonna need some support like like she's john's gone we need to like like i'm gonna visit with her today you visit with her tomorrow also like like how much money do we have for the funeral we're gonna pay for her let's make sure we pay for that funeral because they didn't have that insured you know it comes together it's a real

cohesive group and there aren't many groups like that in your life once you get outside of school uh you know or if you're not in sports or the military or something like that it's hard to have a large cohesive group of people that you're a part of and you know and and religion feels that and it could be definitely a good thing i i i don't think i've ever felt that, honestly. Really? That's part of my cynicism, I think. Because I grew up Muslim, and they're kind of, they are outcasts in this society. Well, in the pocket that I grew up in.

And then straying from that as an atheist, definitely in the minority there so that that group of communal yeah i what did what did arian grow up as a muslim a muslim okay i i were i used to work with a few muslims there was there was one guy who had it was a an african-american who had who had been in the prison system and so he'd adopted Islam. And there was another guy who was from... Chiz, what's that country that you hate in Northern Africa? Morocco, thank you. There was another guy who was... He was so quick with that.

Why did he want to say Morocco? I don't know why. Chiz has dual citizenship. Part of it is with Italy, and I believe Morocco was like an Italian colony or something like that. There's a lot of hatred there. Spain, so stupid. Yeah, yeah, Spain. Is it shithole cheers?

Is it shithole cheers? Jesus' version of shithole country, Morocco. It's funny that he wasn't like, it was no, oh, Algeria or Libya. It was, no, fucking Morocco. You didn't even finish and I saw the little text bubble yeah

yeah yeah yeah we're he and i are on the same fucking way that'd be like if i asked kyle kyle what's the name of that northern european nation that you really really dislike um ireland oh is that i didn't i didn't think yeah i guess yeah i don't really dislike the irish though that's that's just a bit for the show i don don't give a fuck. I like the Irish. They seem like a good group of people, except for that. I like Connor. The rest of you could die. I want to stay on the religion thing, though, and get...

Yeah, I was going to say, like, working with those two Muslims in, like, 2006 or whatever it was really opened my eyes. Like, that was a time not too long after 9-11 where there was a lot of hatred toward those and a lot of painting them all with the same brush. And so working with those guys and seeing that these guys aren't happy with what happened. These guys are pissed. Like they're mad because they're Americans for one thing, but they're also mad because these people are making their whole religion look ridiculous. You know these guys are the KKK of Christianity out there that are flying planes into buildings and so that's know these guys are the kkk of christianity out there that they're flying planes into buildings and so that's that's how these guys are looking at him it was a real eye-opener at the time because because like you know i'd see i'd see hamid go into the break room

and um like he had a good sense of humor about his religion i don't i don't mean to seem disrespectful but we we called his prayer carpet that i don't know the actual name for his magic carpet and he'd be he thought that was funny and like he'd come in occasionally he had like a Moroccan wedding to go to and he came in and like full Moroccan garb like like formal wear and it has these what looked like genie shoes where the toes curl up and do like a full like double spin and I don't remember if there were bells on them but they were absurd those are elf shoes they look like elf shoes but they were absurd elf shoes they looked like elf shoes but they were some sort of like moroccan wedding uh dress and and i was so on board with the and then speaking to garrett the guy who was like um an african-american who'd been in prison and had converted to to islam

and his views on it and and how he felt that like that was the black man's religion and and that was and hearing his side of it you know he made it sound like it made a lot of sense to me as well. And I don't know the other one. The only thing, of course, that turned me the other way was to hear him talk about how women were treated in his country and his sort of casual. Sexism doesn't even begin to cover. He literally told me in my country, you know, you can just walk up and grab a woman by the grab her tits and like she'll start screaming and try to get away. And you shut the fuck up or I'll tell your brother you came on to me, you know, and I was just like, what the fuck? What the fuck are you talking about?

Are you serious right now? Or is this some kind of silly joke? One of those countries where they need like four voices in addition to theirs just to equalize one male voice you know where it's like well you need to have yourself and three other women around otherwise you're probably just making it up skank and see this is this is why i i kind of i do i detest religion because uh i mean i don't know about the grabbing of i haven't studied that scripture in that much detail but there there is a lot of mistreatment of women in the Bible and the Quran. So it's justified.

And so anytime you set yourself up for this invisible judiciary system, it's indefensible. So you can't tell anybody it's wrong. It's subjugation by default, you know, like, like, like it's, and there's not much introspection about it either because it's just taken as fact. So you don't think, man, the, the way these women really don't seem to like this, you know, it's more just like, no, well, of course they don't like it, but that's the rule. That's the way this goes. Do you see a area in anything positive with religion?

Like when you see someone like, you know, in trouble and their church really helps them out, regardless of religion, and they help them get back on their feet or just a community that, you know, tends to, you know, get together and be positive reinforcement to one another and encouraging. Like, do you think that is a positive aspect of it? Or, you know, you'd rather just nix the whole whole thing? that is a positive aspect of it or you know you'd rather just nix the whole whole thing so i've been back and forth on this so i i do see that positive aspect of it um but i don't really chalk that up to religion i chalk that up to human community because if if you set it up like that then what you do is you kind of uh start with the premise that that religion has a monopoly on goodness. And that's not the case. There's plenty of people who are nonbelievers who do extremely great charitable. I've done a bunch of charitable work. And there's no cameras around.

Religion doesn't have a monopoly on goodness. And I used to think, to answer your question, I used to think, no, religion is shit. Get it out like it's bad. We all four here can write a better Bible than there is currently, no doubt in my mind. is um i'm fortunate enough to sit here and it is a privilege that i have that i can i can talk talk about these issues think about these issues in depth right that is a privilege a lot of a lot of people work eight in the morning come home at seven and all they want to do is just relax and get away from their daily life struggles and so a lot of people don't have the luxury of thinking about why their religion isn't good they just they're just used to it right so so a lot of

these these deep topics like some people just don't have the time they just don't have the time to think about this stuff so religion is kind of like a substrate of just like a foundation of of um structure that like that's it and they use it like that they don't they don't go and and and they're not religious with it that's a better better word for it you see like religion almost is like a vestigial tale of morality where it's like it was initially conceived as maybe you know this is the basis of it but we've kind of moved past that point in a societal way where it's like you know we can still see the goodness there but we can kind of afford to lose the tale they'll they'll never admit that because then it forces you to put a mirror on the entire picture of it. But they'll cast out the shit that says don't eat shrimp.

They'll say, oh, that's the Old Testament. Well, so is the Ten Commandments. So when you start poking at them like that, they're just like, listen, I just want to live a good life. And that kind of religious person, I understand 100%. But it's those people that try to push and say they want to live in a theocracy. That's when I start to say, okay, well, let's push back with some logic. And I'll show you how stupid that shit is. But if you're just a Muslim or a Christian or a Jewish person who just, this is just my faith and I just want to live my life and I'm going to be good to people, I don't know, which is the majority of religions.

Yeah. But you have your fringe people who are fucking crazy. Yeah, for sure. Let me do another ad read here. And there's some links up above of Asia Argento. And I think that's a really interesting bit of hypocrisy in the whole Me Too movement that we should talk about. It's pretty absurd. Okay.

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I'm pretty interested in that. Nice, I'll look that up. Yes sir, yes sir. So Kyle, you had a topic that I know has been in the news, but I really don't know much about it. Okay, so I hope I don't get any of this wrong. I've read up on this article a couple times. I listened to some guys on the radio talk about it today on the Jim and Sam show. They were discussing it. This lady, Asia Argento there, I believe she was married to Anthony Bourdain. first lady to come out against Harvey Weinstein and say that he sexually assaulted her back in 97, I think. Well, it turns out that she's a bit of a sexual assaulter herself. There is a picture here. Make sure you click the second one, Chiz, the one that says from CNN, because that's got the image of her with the 17-year-old guy in bed with her at the age of 37. Okay. She's topless. I mean, you can only see the top. Let's assume that she's bottomless because

he claims she was, and he claims that he sexually assaulted her over a good amount of time. That he was sexually assaulted. Yes. And so here's a picture of her in bed with a 17 year old boy. Now let's stop for a minute and imagine that this is a 37 year old man in bed with a 17 year old girl and things start going a little bit the other way. Right. She paid him off to the sum of around three hundred and eighty thousand dollars to keep quiet. And all of this is coming out now. So a massive dose of hypocrisy right down the middle of the Me Too movement. It's pretty ridiculous. And it's a shame because there's nothing wrong with the Me Too movement. We talked about Terry Crews earlier and the struggles that he went

through. And what a weird position he was put in being a man and being questioned about this, being like, whoa, dude, who's sexually assaulting you? And it's like, it's not about Law of the Jungle. I can't just beat this guy up. You want me to throw my career away? This guy is basically holding my career hostage while sexually assaulting me in a way that's very uncomfortable for me because I'm a straight married man. And so this lady, like I said, who was one of the first if not the first to call out uh weinstein yeah not just as bad but definitely a hypocrite i mean i think it's totally natural to be

less disgusted by an adult woman having sex with a younger boy than it is the other way around like i think that's just a natural thing because men are the pursuers they're the aggressors more often than not so i feel like there's just an internal thing because men are the pursuers. They're the aggressors more often than not. I feel like there's just an internal thing that all of us have where we, even though a lot of people are like, it should be treated exactly the same. Legally, yeah, I agree, but there is something just with the human psyche of we all

kind of think about it differently. Not to excuse anything she did. That's really terrible. The fact that, think about the kind of hypocrite you have to be to be the first one to do this and make it a huge part of your new identity and getting a lot of uh a lot of publicity and stuff from it and all the while knowing that you paid almost 400 grand to a minor to hide it like to to cover that up yeah like that's that's stunning hypocrisy yeah it's pretty bad that's unfortunate jesus yeah and like and i also feel bad for the boys who go through this

stuff because they know that society thinks about it that way and so i think they're even less likely to come forward than anyone else because they're like nobody's people are going to give me a high five about something that to me was very traumatic or they'll downplay it to my face and be like, oh, you must have loved it. You got hard. You must have enjoyed it, right? Like that kind of shit. Yeah. What did he, did he have any like public statements or did he say anything?

Let's see. It says he alleged the sexual assault. I'm trying to find like a quote in here. So she courted him and uh it says the fallout of a sexual battery was so traumatic that it hindered mr bennett's work and income and threatened his mental health according to a notice of intent to sue that his lawyer sent in november to richard hofstetter mr bourdain's longtime lawyer who was also representing miss Argento at the time. Man, see, that's... So, I...

I sympathize with people who have gone through this situation at all. But it's just like that Terry Crews situation, right? So, all I can do is put myself in other people's shoes. So, if I'm in that guy's shoes, me, as a 17-year-old kid, I probably would never say anything. You want to hear the creepiest part? Yeah, totally.

Jimmy Bennett, the young man who was assaulted in 2004 when he was – how old is he? A tiny child. I'm going to call him eight or ten. Was in a movie with her called The Heart is Deceitful. She's known this guy since he was a child. If you scroll down on the New York Times article, you can see just how little he is in that picture. Oh my God. So this is like grooming.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Which makes it, I didn't even realize that. That makes it so much more repugnant. It does, it does. I i mean i'm not condoning it at all i don't of course not it's it's it's just not a not a pretty situation man i just don't understand the mentality like if you want to have sex with somebody you if you and you and you're 20 years older like how can you not just wait till they're 18 like i don't understand that shit exactly it's like there's way more people who are 18 and up on this planet than 18 and below

yeah like i'm not i'm not even necessarily saying it's a healthy thing for a 40 year old to go after an 18 year old i'm just saying just like the legality of it like why are you even why are you even messing around with that the implications of you it's it's i think it's like a lot of the same shit from from weinstein where like when these people they're in an industry they feel famous and eventually i bet you're like i'm making money people know who i am i'm untouchable yeah i can get away with this you know this is a rule for the peons for the plebs out there all right you gotta wonder if when someone is so open about like something like that seemingly that she would take a photograph like is it that she thought that she was bulletproof or is it that it's so widespread and common that she thought it would never be an

issue could be a little bit of both yeah right yeah i'd wager a combination i always wondered that like why um like what is what is the arbitrary number of 18 like why why why is 18 the magical number you know what i mean of of of consent where it's not considered public i would counter with instead of y18 what's better than 18 i don't know if i'm just conformist but it works for me you know i don't i don't i don't i don't have an answer i'm just i've always been curious as like was there a reason why just for purely schematics is there a reason why it's 18 like did we decide why did we draw the line there like what was the deciding factor of like because you have to draw the line somewhere of course like where where was it deciding like like, all right, 18's it?

You know what I mean? Yeah, it is totally arbitrary. It could just as easily be 16 or 20. I think the UK is 16, and to them, it's like, oh, 16, yeah, totally makes sense. Really? That's when you can start drinking or whatever. In some places, the age of consent is 12 years old, and in some places, it's 21 years old.

All right. Yeah, the age of consent in, and let me let me just look up oh man there's a lot angola uh 12 philippines 12 argentina burkina faso japan niger south korea all 13 uh these are not thought leaders on women's rights, though. Japan? South Korea? Japan and South Korea, that's a little shocking.

But I'm trying to look up the first Western nation on here. Okay. Germany, Hungary, and Italy, Lichtenstein, those are all 14. Estonia, that's 14. Easy. Estonia, that's 14. I wonder if there's a caveat in those consent laws where the partner has to be within four years or eight years or six years.

Or can a 50-year-old man pick up a 12, 13, 14, 15-year-old, whatever it may be. I got no clue. Isn't there something? There's people who have been prosecuted who were, like, an 18-year-old kid and a 17-year-old kid. Shit like that is ridiculous to me.

That is. That's kind of ridiculous. Yeah, that's almost always a parent who's upset. Who's pressing the action on that. Right, right, right. Like, it, honestly, we, our cultural perspective of 18 being normal, we're in the minority

like not a giant minority but there's more uh nations out there with lower than 18 than there are 18 i don't even know i mean it's okay i think that in the u.s 16 is pretty common i just know north carolina new jersey i think it's 16 for both of those to consent yeah and then even below 16 like if you're 14 i think you can consent but you have to be within four years and then of course in a lot of places you get married at like almost any age with parental consent yeah that's that that's that that's that bible for you though yeah that's fucked like there are there are places where with uh parental consent like i'm trying to think what what show i was watching where they had an episode like that i think it was the blacklist

had an episode like that yeah yeah it was it was real dark where you found that there was there were these a couple men who had like child brides and at first you were like oh i can't wait till the cops catch them and then the cops get up he's like yeah i had parental consent this is my wife it's totally legal and they're like fuck i haven't seen this one before yeah geez yeah that's that's that's why i like when when you're an open atheist like they always say well you have no moralities where your morals come from like you you have that argument a lot and shit like this is like morality is strictly contingent on the society you live in like like i guess is it though yes a hundred percent no i don't know i think uh i think what arian's saying is like find me an objective find me an objective moral standard that's objectively wrong.

I feel like there's some wrong is wrong, right? Pedophilia. We talked about that earlier. But it's not. Obviously, you can have a 12-year-old bride, and it's okay in some places. That's pedophilia in other places. Yeah. That's true.

It's not objectively illegal. It's legal, but we're talking about right and wrong, right? There are societies where you could throw acid on a woman and get away with it. But it's still wrong. And it's not just because I'm from America that I think that's wrong. Wrong is wrong. Some of these things are universally agreed upon. When there's a victim in a situation, it's wrong.

So the counterargument to that is it's not wrong to the person that committed the act or else they wouldn't have done it. It's internally they feel like what they're doing is justified or else they wouldn't do it. It's right. It's not true. People do wrong things knowing they're wrong. People steal. People rob. People murder even though they think it's wrong.

Okay. Do you knowingly do – I mean you can feel like it's wrong but do you really feel like it's wrong if you're doing it i've done things i thought were wrong as a kid yeah i think so i i think it's a difference like i think arian you're talking to it from the perspective of the society that you're currently in isn't going to pass judgment if you engage in behavior that's seen as bad somewhere else and i think what are you're coming at it from like, regardless of society, there are some things that are objectively damaging. So like the example of kids who are molested before or made to participate in sex, you

know, at the age of 12 or in Angola or whatever the fuck, we know from evidence that those kids are going to grow up maladapted, more likely to self-harm or harm others. Like they tend to have mental issues with that. So even though it's not, it's a societal norm, it's objectively detrimental to the person themselves, which I think you could kind of make a case that, all right, this is something we should avoid on a moral level. But even then, and this is strictly devil's advocate,

because I agree it's wrong, but it's, it's objectively detrimental to our standards of what detrimental is, right? Because if you look at like the Shakespearean times, like pedophilia and homosexuality was prevalent. Like they used to have little boys play girls in a lot of the plays that they had, right? And it was very normal, right? But there was no, it wasn't detriment to how they grew up that's just how they grew up and the point being is like i agree it's wrong in my worldview but you can always find a society

or a person or somebody else who doesn't think that it's wrong that's the that's that's the point i don't know the objectivity of right and wrong can never be quantified how can i feel like i just have to believe in my heart they were like yeah fucking these unwilling kids in the ass is uh is wrong but i'm so glad we get away with it we've all had our turn you know when sophomores pick on freshmen they know what they're doing is wrong but they somehow think that because they were picked on the year before that it's okay, it's justified or whatever. But they know it's wrong. When people steal, they know it's wrong.

They just feel like they can get away with it or that they want it or that their own desires override their sense of right and wrong. So in a couple of those matters so if i steal and i know it's wrong right there are instances where stealing is okay that's the point so like stealing some guy's big screen tv right you know that's wrong but if you're but if you're hungry and you haven't had a meal and still you're stealing a loaf of bread to me that's not wrong right i hear you but let's not do that one right let's not grab like the little corner case where there's an argument to be made someone you're stealing my flat screen tv right i worked for it you didn't but you want it so you just take it and you know what's wrong but your desires outweigh

your sense your conscience right so so in that essence like you like you talk about me or society the guy who does it the guy who does it the guy who does it says you know what i know this is wrong but i want it but i get robin hood robin hood right so i've i've grown i've i grew up with cats like this where they feel uh under um underprivileged they grew up with nothing no no chances no breaks mom and dad was in that prison wherever prison, whatever the case may be, drug infested neighborhood, gang infested neighborhood, and they go into a neighborhood and they take a guy's big screen and he's like, he has all the opportunity in the world, this is what he gets. This is my dude.

Is it right? Not to me, but to him, he's justifying it in his head. It's like, fuck that dude like that it's literally it's you cannot quantify right and wrong because it's in a it's in a it's a subjective standard if he felt like it was wrong he probably wouldn't partake in it a lot of people feel justified in their crime you can find instances in fringe cases where yeah yeah i'm wrong and i'm doing it and i know i'm wrong or no this is i deserve this tv see i feel like uh like this is part of the reason i think that religion itself was kind of instrumental in creating human civilization, the groundwork. Because it gave that structure of, like, you know, this is objectively wrong.

You can't do this or you can't do that. And I think, to your point earlier, maybe we've outgrown that in a lot of ways. But without religion, there really isn't an objective standard. And I think that's Arians point of like, you can appeal to things. And so what I would say is like, instead of trying to propose a system of objectively right and wrong, you kind of try your best. It's not set in stone black and white, and you know, this gray area, but you try and strive for something that is always beneficial instead of detrimental. So you would use a standard of judgment like, okay, this behavior of marrying and having sex with 12-year-olds,

oh, it looks like this is really damaging to people in the long run. Higher rates of suicide, higher suicidal ideation, self-harm, things like that. Okay, that's detrimental. We can't say it's objectively wrong because we're not using a holy book to do it, but it's still wrong in that way. Right. And in which case I would 100% agree with, right? Because I feel like you can gather data on child brides after 15, 20, you know, decades, whatever the case may be, and see where they fall. And you say, okay, you're more likely to have emotional issues. You're more likely. Yeah. Then you can kind of quantify in that aspect. But, but even then we're still looking at it through our Western worldview

of get, you go to school, you get a job, you get married, you have 2.5 kids and a dog and a white pig. We're still looking at it through our worldview which is which is biased and there's no there's no there's no way around that there's just no way around that like because the objectivity comes from uh uh for for religious people it comes from a higher power. So if you're appealing to the higher power, there's literally no, um, it's on a shaky foundation because there's no evidence for it. That's, that's the, that's the whole point. Like I, I agree we can, we can come to consensus, but this is why I, when, like when we talk about, uh, like like like politics in today's world um people are like uh oh the pc culture is ruining and blah blah blah i disagree i used to be really firm on this

where i was like you should be able to say what you feel because political correctness is ruining freedom i used to be on that side but then i had i kind of had a change of worldview where I felt like political correctness is just an attempt at civility in a world where goodness is subjective. So that's why I feel political correctness is actually an attribute for society rather than a hindrance and it kind of falls in line with what we're saying does that make sense i i mean i definitely disagree on the political correctness thing but your religious point i understand like because like that's what's so hard for you know atheist agnostics whatever to argue for any standard of objective morality like you really can't do it like all you can say is this seems bad or this feels wrong but without that concrete set in stone 10 commandment

or whatever the fuck it is in your religion like that's really all it comes down to is i feel this is wrong or you know this has been proven to be detrimental or beneficial just like we could say like a political correctness thing what we what's wrong with political correctness because it's just oh i was i mean i think that it's interesting like you were making the point about a lack of objectivity and whatnot and i think that giving that subjective power of policing speech to people who are themselves not at all objective you know they have agendas they have ideas that they won't push forward and giving certain people the the power to police speech they're going to take advantage of it. It's been done every time that power structures.

I was thinking about this too, right? Like the left can sometimes use political correctness as a weapon to bludgeon you with. You know, like I've been offended. I've been wounded. You know, and they're, you know, cry bullies, right? In this, you know, you need to be nicer or you're bad. The right sometimes uses their objection to political correctness to just be assholes. And that's, I agree. I agree 100%.

And so that's why I'm not saying political correctness as far as like, I can't even think of an example. But what I more so mean is if we're having a conversation, you have a certain way that you communicate. I have a certain way that I communicate. And so in order for us to communicate the most healthiest conversation that we can have and have a civil discourse without really wanting a conflict, I'm going to use words and terminology that I may not be comfortable with. And you would do the same just because you don't want any drama. You don't want any beef. And to me, that's what political correctness is. And like Woody said, it can be used as a weapon. But so like the transgender issue, for example, however you want to call or whatever pronoun you want to call somebody you're well within your right but if somebody's asking you okay call me this and you refuse just

on your principles in my opinion you're being an asshole see that always struck me like the pronoun thing is so weird on its face because like if i'm talking to someone and they go, oh, my name's Susan, and it's, like, clearly a trans person, like, you would refer to them by their name, you know? And so that's what I don't like about the pronoun thing is it's like you're trying to control speech in conversations you're not even in. Like, I'm not going to use a pronoun when you're here. I'm going to address you by your name. That's true. But it can extend to, like, Mr. and Mrs. and stuff like that. And it could become, I can see how it could become hate speech because then it's just

like the girl that was bullying you, Woody, when she was like, you're going to do it? You're going to do it? So you can be like, Mr., Mr., you know what I'm saying? And that kind of thing can play out. And the issue I had with a lot of the rhetoric that was coming from the, you're hindering our free speech camp was one, it was based on a false premise with that Jordan Peterson C-16 bill. But two, it's framed in a way that you're going to come across transgender people 30 times a day and it's just not the case you maybe come across one in two years right just yeah they blew it so out of proportion yeah and so it became a political talking point rather than uh uh two human beings trying to come to an

understanding which is more likely you know what i mean like if you come across somebody who asked you to do that i feel like you would respect how they want to just be. I'm talking to you because I feel like you're a good human being. And if you do it, it's if you don't do it, I feel like it's an intentional thing. See, like the only time like I have no problem with people being courteous to one another. But I think that a disingenuous kind of courteousness at the expense of truth just in order to be more palatable is damaging to public discourse. Like we definitely don't want to be like, oh, we can't address this issue as honestly as we want because we have to, you know, jump around on different stones and

hope we don't hit the wrong thing. Who's truth? Oh, I was meaning like people should be able to speak truth as they see it. Like that's how you get through to people you know like if you want to have a genuine discussion with people i don't i mean it could be but i think it's more dangerous to call that and force people to walk in lockstep with a pre-approved usually government mandated form of speech yeah as far as the government mandated i would i would agree that's what's happening in canada i would disagree with that i would disagree with that because because like the That's sort of the whole C-16, I think it's C-16, the bill that Jordan Peterson, if you

read the bill, it's not what it's doing. All it was doing was it was giving transgender people the same rights as say an African American or whatever the case may be in hate speech as far as

like if you in hate crimes they were giving transgender people three fifths of a vote? I can't get on board with that if anything they get two votes that's funny it is funny as shit so like hate crimes like you get persecuted more for hate crimes right so like the the sentence can be a little bit more heavy if it can prove to be a hate crime

so they just extended uh transgender people in the same form and so that got conflated with you're forcing me to use a certain word or pronoun or whatever i think they were technically forcing them though because they included misgendering as a form of that hate speech no that they didn't say that no okay misgendering was never said in that bill all right then i'm mistaken on that point but that's what that's what that's what the whole thing about the jordan peterson thing was was that he was conflating that point. But I'm not even super hard-pressed on this issue. But my only, where I dig my heels in the sand is, like,

if you really want to have a civil conversation with somebody without pissing them off, like like how far are you willing to bend your worldview in order in order to just not have a argument like that's really all it boils down to in that in in my opinion okay yeah i understand that point of view i this is a fun one with uh arian on the show show so we have a Patreon level where you can ask questions and we talk about it on the show at what age do you want to retire and what does retirement mean to you

that's heavy me first if you want I can go here's the thing about what we do we're not working a 9 to 5 here. I really enjoy what we're doing right here, right now. I like doing stuff on the internet. When hypothetical 65-year-old Kyle is pumping up,

taking his testosterone injections, he's probably also going to be playing Halo 27 or something and live streaming it or something like that, right? I like the kind of gig that we've backed into here and and and so like the kind of like and then what do you do when you retire retire right like again that really means something for a nine to five guy it's like oh no more nine to five now i now i can now i can travel the world but when you're working on the internet like i i mean i've i've been on a couple couple vacations in the last couple months. And, you know, I just bring my setup with me and we do it from there. It doesn't really hold me back as long as that, like, you know, as early as possible, right?

You want to be able to enjoy some, like, vacationing or financial freedom or travel or something like that when you're still physically all there, right? Like, you don't want to be 70, and, like, you go on that European vacation you always wanted to go on, but you really can't enjoy it now. Now it's kind of risky swimming in whatever the Mediterranean or wherever you wanted to go. Now it's just too long to do right now i saw that statistic today some i don't remember where i saw it but they were saying that general motors used to be the the largest employer uh in this country and they paid the equivalent of 50 an hour and now walmart is and they pay what like like seven dollars an hour so it's it's and then of

course the disparity like the population is getting so much older now. There are way more people who are older than there used to be because of advances in medical science and health care programs and all that stuff. Baby boom, of course. But, you know, so it's a weird question, I think, for us in particular. But I don't think there would ever be a time where I just didn't want to do anything. Like, I don't get that. I feel like most people spend their entire lives saving up their money. What they want to buy is their time, right?

That you could call it their freedom if you want to. You want to own your own schedule. And that's what retirement is to me, right? What Kyle described, it's kind of like retirement already. You know, he gets to wake up when he wants to and do what he wants to that day these two or three obligations a week the show and outside of that kyle owns all his time i do too

i like it in terms of like the causes i never want to not do anything and i feel like aside from hobbies kind of don't do a lot. I'm wired to get really passionate about my hobbies. But aside from that, I'm digging it. I feel like I've retired and I'm awesome at it. That's exactly what my mom said. I retired her and she's like, I'm not doing shit and I'm proud of it. And I think that's all right to me. Cause I think, I think as human beings, like we're all just trying to find our own little

source of happiness and whatever that is. Like I said, at the end of the day, that's all we're all trying to do is like, how can I go be the happiest? Where can I find that? So whatever that is, man. It's funny on the side, she's wrote boring. No, I woke up i went to 3 000 feet collapsed my glider multiple times right twisted up fucking oh he said not you woody uh you know the world's largest swing set destroyed and then rebuilt brought two reserves

because that shit's dangerous and then i came on land taught new people how to fly we covered safety today we looked frame by frame at people who nearly drowned, people who – more people who nearly drowned, people who hit power lines, like guys who lost fingers and talked about like what led to it. And this is my cup of tea, right? This is my idea of a really cool day. And then I do the show here and it's – yeah, this is the life I aspire to live. As you should, Woody live as you should woody as you should i i i think i think kind of along the same lines man i think if you do the things that you love you never really it's it's not work i mean that's an old like cookie cutter fortune cookie answer but it's it's really the truth uh like i said earlier like i've been doing – I've never been more busy in my life,

but I've never been more fulfilled either. Even before – when I was playing football, I loved football, but it just felt like a job after a while. It really did because you only played – you spent day after day doing things that had nothing to do with actually playing football. You only got to play it 16 times a year year which is a very small portion of your time so after retirement i just get to dive into all of these things that i that i really love to do great i mean granted i have the luxury

of not having to worry about if i get paid for them or not but uh i like looking back i would do this shit if i was getting paid for it or not because it just it just it just fulfills me so i feel like if people go out and do uh fulfilling work um it's just more it's more it's it's just a better yeah you're just happier yeah like that's kind of how i see it it's like the whole i don't care if it's like a job or just like a hobby or something but once you retire you've got to do something. Like, I feel like men, especially, like, will go from like, all right, I'm, you know, 52, and I'm gonna retire. And then by like, 55, it's like, Jesus, like, you've aged 15 years, like, there's something about no longer pursuing or trying to get something done, doesn't even have to be necessarily productive, could just be a hobby you're trying to master. Like. It's really important to be doing that stuff,

like keeping your mind young. That's the way I would see it. I'd like to retire by the time I'm 50. We find a lot of self-worth in our work. Yeah, definitely. Is that healthy, though? Oh, definitely. When people feel worth in what they're doing,

they're more likely to work hard. They're more likely to make it part of themselves. When you make it part of yourself, a success in that avenue of life is a success individually. It's like a repeating cycle. I take a lot of worth in my ability to build some system that better routes customer support, customers to the right agent. Really? You're making someone else's dream come true there's someone on top who's like all right that jackass made my yeah better family and self improvement are much better things to be you know using to to make you feel good about your efforts I think than necessarily especially a nine-to-five

lately and they are a thousand different nine to fives right but then some of them some of them you can go home at the end of the day and be like i did good today like i mean if you're a nurse or uh maybe you're maybe you're a lawyer and you and you and you help someone or like whatever you're doing if you're helping people or if you're i don't know progressing science or you're exploring or you're doing something that's for the betterment of mankind or something like that, you could come home and take a lot of pride in that. But shit, what if you're, I don't know,

a janitor? Or what if you're a mall cop who makes farts? Well, then you're not going to retire ever, so this isn't a question for you. Unless he can monetize those farts into ringtones. This isn't going anywhere. He has 41,000 followers on Instagram. He keeps doing what he's doing.

He got a little career. Yeah. A dollar a fart and he'll be good to go. But that's kind of like the drawback from capitalism, though, is somebody's got to lose. That's just a shitty, shitty reality. People do have to lose, but they lose in a way that they still are better off usually than the loser counterpart in other systems, even though obviously not everything is perfect with capitalism by a long shot.

Right. No, I agree. Capitalism is the best system that we've created. It's just the holes in it leave. Yeah. There's people who will never succeed because there's limited numbers of people who could. Yeah. I think that's the natural part of

anything though like anything that's merit-based or you know and of course not everything is merit-based there's a lot of nepotism in certain ways but there's always going to be that elite upper crust i think that's how it's always been how it's always going to be right this guy says uh are there any good tv shows that you're watching right now uh this is to me uh you said a while back that you had started watching Peep Show. That's not dirty, by the way, which is a favorite of mine. It's a British comedy show. I don't know how far you got, but you should at least watch through season four to get the dog episode.

Yeah, I believe the dog episode is where they end up like he's eating the dog on the boat, I think. It's cooked and everything. He's pretending it's ribs and not a dead dog. Yeah, that was freaking hilarious. Peep Show's very funny. I like foreign humor. Right now, I'm watching Letter Kenny. It's this

Canadian show that has so much Canadian jargon and inside jokes. It's really freaking funny. I really, really like Letter Kenny. If you can find a way to watch it, the first two seasons are on Hulu and then after that it's kind of difficult unless you're a Canadian citizen

or know a Canadian citizen because it's only offered on one service and the other one I've been watching that's an old one is freaking NYPD Blue I had never watched it, it was kind of before my time I think it came out in 93 and ran for 12 years.

And I've been binge watching that shit for months now. There's 22 or 24 episodes each season, 12 seasons, an hour an episode. So you can really get into this shit. And I like it a lot. I did some research about it after I started enjoying it, and I saw that it was rated as one of the best dramas ever made, one of the best TV dramas ever made. And the characters are excellent.

And I really like NYPD Blue. I know it's an old show, and some people are really turned off by standard format TV shows from the late 90s. But I watch it on a big screen, and I guess it doesn't turn me off that much. And they go to HD by 2000 or 2001 or something like that by the later seasons. So I'd strongly recommend giving NYPD Blue like a two episode try.

I think it'll hook you right away. And Letter Kenny, just watch some YouTube clips of Letter Kenny. And if that's your brand of humor, then you're gonna love the whole thing what are uh what are your go-to shows arian oh man um i i came on to game of thrones late but that is probably one of the best shows i've ever seen in my life i started i started actually started after I retired, ironically.

I retired. I had never watched one episode. And then for like two weeks, me and my lady just sat on the couch. And every day, every night, we watched the entire, as much as we could. But we stretched it out even longer. So we're all caught up now. But I'm kind of pissed that I'm all caught up now because it's such a good show man yeah um and they make you wait yeah it's just every year should be another season what is it these 18 breaks it's crazy talk i mean you know what

they're doing because it's like the most it's the highest rated show right now i think it's i think so hbo's freaking killing it this is gonna be a big year for hbo too they've got a lot of nice shows coming out next year. I saw a list of them earlier. I wish I could think of it. They've got a lot of cool stuff coming out. But Game of Thrones is – nothing is bigger than that I don't think. It's so good.

I can't Netflix keep up with HBO. It bothers me. If Netflix makes something, it's probably okay. If HBO makes something, it's probably going to shape culture for the next decade it's different business models netflix is going for uh for a quantity over quality so to speak whereas hbo's goes for quality like hbo has a lot to lose if they release a show that just sucks dick right after they do but they have like their their staples, their flagships that keep them afloat, like The Sopranos. Sex and the City.

Sex and the City. The Wire. The Wire. Oz. Oz. That was on there. Man, that was cultural. There's like four Hotel 108s or whatever that show was.

Pardon? Oh, the Netflix 1408 or whatever. No, this was an HBO show show and it was room 108 maybe and catch that is it a mini series perhaps because i differentiate between the series and and the and the series i guess basically it's a show and it could have covers what happened in this hotel room throughout the hotel's history interesting nights you know swingers would come in bad people would come in and stuff yeah there was a guy who had a book deal and he needed to finish it he was really stressed and are you using this as an example of a bad show that you know wasn't

good okay yeah and they've got a ton of them that just don't go anywhere yeah that's true they also they've been around for much longer than uh than netflix has at least they've got some of the best shows that i've ever made right like why can't netflix i know it's not their budget i know netflix hires will smith to do something on goblins right i know netflix has it has a huge budget though like they spend like they spend they've got that scorsese movie coming out right like they got scorsese making up an italian mob um they had that had a adam sandler movie it was like uh it was about him at hollywood i actually watched it it was pretty it was a typical adam sandler movie but i enjoyed it man sandler there's nothing wrong with adam sandler movies

they're just they know they're silly, and they're silly. Yeah, 100%. Sandler might be the smartest fucking guy in Hollywood because he figured out how to make shitty movies, put all of his best friends in them, get them all rich as shit, and then he figured out how to do it without worrying about Rotten Tomatoes,

the box office, premieres, any of that. He signed that four- deal with netflix or whatever it was and just made four i mean they're not they're dumb comedies right they're adam sandler movies he's made ridiculous six or whatever it was yeah like that's just the kind of movie i like tell me to get choked up on click though you get to oh i got click was the worst i got choked up at the end though i really did i did. I didn't cry, but I was on the brink of like, yo, that's kind of sad, though. I totally am on your side. When I saw Click, I saw it in theaters thinking like, this will be silly, a nice lighthearted

Adam Sandler movie. And by the end, this is spoilers, this movie came out over a decade ago. By the end, he's realizing he's inadvertently fast forwarded through his whole life. And he's sitting there sick and dying, wishing he could go back to those boring moments that he took for granted before. And it's like, oh, this man has wished his whole life away doing something that most average people would have fallen into. I'm fast-forwarding the DMV. Hell no. Oh, I'm fast-forwarding this boring lecture at school.

Yeah, that definitely choked me up. And when his daughter's getting married or whatever it was. Yeah, super, super sad shit, man. I have a clip. From what? From a different Adam Sandler movie, which I think is his strongest performance ever.

It's a movie called Punch Drunk Love. I have seen this clip. Where's the clip? This is, so basically, in my my but what i took from this movie was adam sandler often often plays characters like happy gilmore who is like kind of a comedic rageaholic over the top you know it would never exist in the real world and they make a bit out of that this character feels like the kind of person that you'd have to be to go into a crazy rage like that. And it wouldn't really be funny, right?

He's a very poorly adjusted man who falls in love for the first time, and he's very odd. And this girl who's in the car with him is like his first love. He loves this woman. And he's going to run into a couple characters who are trying to cause some trouble for him.

He got into a silly mess, and they're trying to extort him for money. And I guess we can begin whenever we want. All right. I'm ready to rock. Three, two, one, play. The fourth one. Are you okay? Yes, I'm fine. Are you okay?

No, I'm sorry. What is this? It's okay. It's okay. I don't understand. Those men were... It's not a comedy. This is a drama about a man who has some real issues. Some real issues.

And these four guys are trying to extort him. And they want money from him. And now they've come to do violence to him to get that money out of him and and uh and he snapped but she had a bloody eye and then didn't oh it's still bloody i'm still bloody oh i just couldn't see her then yeah yeah that wasn't a like a thing i thought he snapped because he saw her hurt. He did. He did. Yeah. He dealt with these guys before and he sort of capitulated.

But when they hurt his girl, like he goes into Captain Insano mode and he shows no mercy. It's a good movie. It's a really good. It's romantic. It's like you feel for this guy. He seems he's such a kind, genuine person, but off. And I don't know, it's really strong. I definitely recommend that movie from Adam Sandler.

It is not the standard Adam Sandler movie at all. I think I have to one-up you here. I don't want to watch that Adam Sandler movie. That looks not funny. There's a... It's intriguing though there's a scene where he like really really cries rain over me i've never seen this one this is this is where i feel like uh is it not this is a bummer this is i i can't remember it's been so many years since i've seen this i can't remember the context of this scene.

But I just remember it being really powerful. So I don't know if you want to watch it or not. I like it when a YouTube clip is anything other than 16.9 or 16 by 9. Like I see this. I'm like, yeah, I'm glad you could do that. No, I'm glad I could provide that for you. I wasn't trying. High quality aspect ratio.

Sometimes I see 4 by 3 and I think it's great anyway are you guys ready? ready set play HD yeah 14 144p you don't see that much never disappoint

Tyler's so fucking hot Never disappoint But Tyler so fucking hot It's a sexy little elf wanna make her wear so I want to make her wear those fucking ears and do unforgivable things You know she's got daddy issues. I don't need to talk about her or look at pictures. Because the truth is, a lot of times I see her on the street. I walked down the street, I see her in someone else's face. Clearer than any of the pictures you carry with you. I get that you're in pain.

But you got each other. You got each other. And I'm the one who's got to see her and the girls all the time. Everywhere I go. I even see the dog. That's how fucked up I still am. I look at a German chimp and I see our goddamn poodle. oh that made me so sad yeah it was a really dope part because it was like uh he don't talk a lot because he like lost his kid or something like that.

And so that was one of the first things he said in a lot of the... It was really dope. Except the way I heard his voice, I heard the Hanukkah song, and that didn't help me personally. He loses his family in the 9-11 attacks? Oh. Yeah. At least he has his old friend, Don Cheadle. True.

They probably didn't cheer him up much, though. You know, with the family dying in 9-11 and everything. What a fucking bummer, Arian. Yeah, I'm sorry, but I had to want to... It's a comedy show, Arian. Because you said it was Adam Sandler's best scene. I hadn't seen that before. All right, now let's watch

the scene from the green mile where percy steps on the mouse and then when john coffee gets executed you know you can't miss that that thriller that's the saddest movie ever y'all have any um like because i can't or i should ask this first so i can't fall asleep in the dark like just pitch black dark i can't i can't fall asleep my mind dark. Just pitch black dark. I can't fall asleep. My mind wanders and I just sit up for hours. I have to have some kind of distraction going on in the background. Every single night

I fall asleep to Star Trek The Next Generation. Every single night. Sometimes I do actually. I like that. I often will play yeah i like that i uh i i often will uh play a a show like that when i go to sleep i like that too um what's your go-to lately because i've been watching nypd blue i i just i do that and then i just backtrack the next day so i catch the episode that i dreamt through

or whatever but i i love star trek i've seen every episode movie and like multiple multiple times i'm a real i'm not a Trekkie. I wouldn't go to a convention. I don't have any ears or a uniform, but I'm a huge fan. There is this weird thing I do. So I've watched Star Trek Next Generation every single episode except for the last seven. And for some reason, I don't want to watch the last seven. I'm saving it for this momentous moment.

But I'm like, I don't want to die not seeing it, but I just it for this momentous moment but i'm like i don't want to die not seeing it but i just want to keep something you've never seen it no i've never seen it like the finale is quite good thanks uh i'm hoping so but it's just like i don't know what it is like a mental block i can't go past like episode like six or something like that because it's just i don't want to i don't want to know what happens, but I don't know what it is. I did that with Breaking Bad. I didn't want, I could sense the direction we were heading.

Things had gone bad for Walt, and he was on the run and I was like, I'll come back to this in a few months and watch it. I didn't want it to be over. I knew it would bum me out. But it's a good example. I watch this shit every night before I go to bed and I refuse to go past a certain episode

it's the weirdest shit is your girl super fucking tired of it she ended up liking it she had never seen it before so she ended up liking it but she goes to sleep way before me now you know Patrick Stewart Patrick Stewart's coming back in a new Star Trek show

oh I saw that I retweeted it. His stamp of approval. Highest praise. Yeah, that's great. I'm so happy about that. Patrick Stewart's a cool fucking guy. I like his Instagram.

His Instagram's really funny. He's got a great sense of humor. Seems like a real, genuine, cool guy. His whole weird relationship, friendship withan mckellen is silly and and fun like like real cool guy i'm a big fan of patrick stewart have you seen his he had the best i remember when that ice bucket challenge was going on yeah he had the best one did you see his i saw it but i don't remember the details it was so suave it was the most swankiest shit that you could possibly do he like put ice cubes in a cup and just sat there and unfolded a check-in row it was the smoothest shit i've ever seen oh i see

yeah i've never seen an episode of any star trek really yeah maybe i should look into it well if you ever decide to come to me first and i'll tell you where to start i've heard that the next generation is the better one because because it actually, like, didn't the first one only go for, like, one season or something? Like three or four. It's quite short. It got canceled pretty soon, pretty early. The first one.

The original Star Trek with William Shatner. Oh, really? It was very short-lived, especially for the impact that it seemingly made on the world, right? They did continue on with an animated series a few years later, voiced by the entire original cast, which is quite good. Next Generation is good, but it's episodic, and it sort of follows the blueprint that many TV shows had before binge-watching was a thing and before streaming was a thing, where each episode was a bit self-contained, and there wasn't a ton of character growth. There are a few characters, of course, that grow over the course of the series of The Next Generation, Data being

one of them for sure, because his whole journey is the journey to become more human as an android. But characters like Worf, or Diana Troy, or any of them, they really don't change very much throughout the thing. Deep Space Nine, though, you get your first black captain,

you completely flip the script, and now it's not a ship traveling the galaxy. It's a space station, this hub of commerce and intrigue right on this wormhole that takes you to another side of the galaxy, so it's a strategic point. And it has incredible character growth. Everyone is becoming, from the first episode to the last episode,

everyone is night and day. They've all grown. They've been through horrific things. They've gotten married. Some of them have died, you know? And they do something that never happened in the other Star Treks. They fight a war.

And I don't mean this like, oh, on this episode and the next one, we'll be at war. No, for like three seasons, they're in this massive war with billions of people dying. And so Deep Space Nine is definitely the best Star Trek ever made, in my opinion.

I'm of the next generation ilk, but I understand where you're coming from. Yeah, I love Next Generation. That was my first one. That was the first one I ever watched. Big fan. I just love all sci-fi, really. Most sci-fi. Have you been into The Expanse? Oh, I've been meaning to.

The what? The Expanse? You don't know The Expanse? I don't know The Expanse. I won't say it's like Star Trek, but it's a sci-fi. It takes place in the future. There's sort of three groups of people. There's the Earthlings, of course, you're familiar with us. The Martians, and they're people who move from Earth and they colonize Mars.

And they don't have all the resources and easy life that we have here on earth but they've grown into a formidable military force and then there are these scrappy upstarts i think they're belters and they live on the asteroid belt and they mine and they're typically kind of poor because they grow in a low gravity environment they have a bunch of physical defects sometimes they're way too tall their bones are not thick enough and stuff like that. And you get to see all of them kind of interact and fight their war. And there's kind of some the current day equivalents. The Martians are kind of like Russia. You know, they don't have all these resources. They struggle, but they're a powerful military opponent. The gangster, I'm sorry, the Belters are kind of like, I don't know, an ISIS or guerrilla warfare type people. And it's great.

It's fun to watch it. Is it a movie or a series? It's a series. They've done three seasons. And I think it got picked up by Amazon for the season four. And that's exciting because it kind of unhandcuffs them. There can be bad words, sex and nudity, stuff like that. Bigger budget, better cameras.

It's going to, like, I haven't seen the show, but it's premise intrigues me. What's it called again? The Expanse. The Expanse. It has excellent reviews. So I, I,

I, I'm sure it's quite good. And I, I like sci-fi and I like, I like where they're going with that whole thing. So I'm definitely gonna check it out, but I kind of want to wait until the Amazon season is just about to premiere to, uh,

to, to watch the first three seasons that were on the SyFy channel. I think I'm going to hold off on that. Definitely excited to see how it grows. Taylor, you linked a big old ass here. And I want everyone's opinion on this ass and

how they feel about this. Personally... Yeah, I thought it was apropos of our previous conversation talking about ass implants. And I had never seen them this bad. God. Oh, my. Yeah.

Yeah, that's the problem with ass implants. Usually, people who work that hard for an ass, they're also getting other muscles worked, you know? So it looks more proportionate. But that, it looks like... I like you're gonna be she looks like she's gonna be taking messy shits for life oh yeah she's built like a dislocated shoulder that shit is awful i just don't understand it feel like that shit is not sexy to me man i don't understand you wouldn't want to even hit it that hard or anything because you'd

be like is this gonna pop is it gonna flip and then i have like a flat surface it's just it's just not a pillar i don't look at it keep looking at it and imagine the flat alternative now i'll admit this is a botched plastic surgery but i can see the plastic surgery motivation because you take away those implants that woman has has nothing. I understand the breast implants. I get that. Like I said, I'm more of a proponent of a natural woman. Like I've definitely gone the other side, don't get me wrong. But I just don't understand like this.

I think women are not even trying to do it to court men. It's more like they're just competing with each other and it's getting weird now oh yeah no that's that's i feel like that's the biggest motivator for women to do most of the things they do to look better is is is living up to the the sort of standards that are put on them by other women right because like if all women wore like fucking baggy sweats and shit like like we'd be like well yeah yeah all right we're down but but like when the first woman in ancient mesopotamia figured out how to crush up beetle shells and put on lipstick and get blush and everything all the other bitches in the you know the town were like that whore god damn it now we all have to crush up beetles and do this because she's setting the

bar too high how am i going to compete with that? And so it feels like that's how it's always been. That's what it is, trying to outclass one another. Taylor, I can't tell if Beatle crushing is where it started or if you just made that up. I'm pretty sure that there's a pigment found in bug parts or shells that is what is primarily used in a lot of forms of makeup and lipstick even to this day that is a hell of a fact if it is true yeah they use all kinds of weird things and uh and like lipstick has um what is it the gelatin cow hoops maybe or something like that um i remember woody when we discovered where um raspberry lemonade flavoring comes from anyone anyone want to guess where raspberry lemonade flavoring comes from anyone anyone want to guess where raspberry lemonade flavoring comes from you thought it was the raspberry

didn't you oh no it's gonna be bugs isn't it oh it's worse than oh you wish you wish so i like raspberry flavored things what is it it's been a while since i learned this i think it's like like possum sphincters or something it's like beaver testicles or something like otter nuts or something it's absurd i remember i need this i need this fact check bro by the way uh carminic acid typically 17 to 24 percent of dried insects weight can be extracted from the body and eggs then mixed with aluminum and calcium salts to make carmine dye also known as coconut uh, carmine is primarily used as a colorant in food and lipstick. It comes from beaver glands. It's natural red for beaver glands.

Oh, I like raspberry-tasting things. Castoreum, also used in perfumes for a musky scent. Yeah. I choose not to believe that. It's absolutely true. I know. I just want to know, who was the first person to try a beaver gland and say, yo, let's mix this.

How did that happen? God, we're looking for a raspberry flavor. Should we start with the raspberries? No, that doesn't sound right. We've got a preponderance of beaver testicles here. Let me read this. It says, does it come from the beaver anus? The castoreum is a secretion of male or female beavers, which are native to Alaska, yada, yada, yada.

Beavers have a pair of pouch-like sacs called caster sacs between the kidneys and the bladder located on top of the base of the tail. That's the asshole. Right? I know where the top of the base of the tail is. Yeah. The secretion and the smell it comes from is sometimes called beaver taint can you order it it's called castoreum right castalium um castoreum Castorium for sale. I want it fresh. Castorium. I wonder if you can order that on Amazon.

Oh my god, dude, look at this. I'm linking as fast as my retarded hands can. Look at this. Look at this. Oh, it's on Etsy. These are the actual glands dried up. Ew. From Siberia.

Is that a bunch of glands together, or is that one gland? Yes, that's many a gland. Just think how many beavers had to die for that handful of $14 worth of raspberry flavoring. Is there like an official term for many glands, or is it just glands? No idea. None of us are doctors. Like cacti.'m not a beaver doctor gland die a murder of glands a gaggle looks like dog vagina pheromones can be found in some beer and wine oh i just looked up weird food additives and those two were the first ones on there.

Bugs crushed up and beaver taint. Let's see what else. This is going to make me dislike things. Oh, sheep juice is good for gumballs. Arian, did you intentionally turn from pink to blue? Yeah. I'd just be switching it up every now and then. Which is great.

Change the vibe. I appreciate that. Change the vibes up a little bit, man. I don't even know what shellac is. I suggest colored lights if you guys do not have colored lights. Colored lights change everything. I make music in here, so it just changes the vibe. You could really...

I don't know the scientific... White lights only in my house. No coloreds allowed. No coloreds. Kyle's a fluorescent man. Like his father before him. Halogen! Halogen, goddammit!

I've got one of those RGB strips that's sticky on one side, all under my bed and behind the headboard and stuff. I can switch that mood lighting up on the fly. It's pretty nice. And the brightness. Yeah, yeah, those. It fell. I had it underneath

my piano and the stick wore off yeah we i got some double-sided tape we're gonna slapped it on there so yeah i had to do the same thing yeah i'm a big fan of those they're really cheap and they i don't know like sometimes if you're in bed like watching tv you don't want an actual light or a lamp on but like you can put like some green light or some blue light and it doesn't like mess with your night vision so you're watching for watching the television and i like it a lot yeah man two consenting adults a little mood lights never know what could happen yeah absolutely put it on strobe she goes into her seizure and having

fun that's right you know so maybe she's not participating invoke the seizure and suddenly she's she's crazy god damn baby she can't and suddenly, she's crazy. Goddamn, baby. She can't even sit still. She's loving it so much. Oh, man, baby. That's new. What are you even doing? Put your tongue out of the back of your mouth. What are you doing? The strobe is so annoying, though. See, the strobe is so annoying.

I hate it. Dude, you just gotta put a wallet in her mouth and keep fucking... Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Alright, we're back at it. I bought this sketchy-ass soda from, like, a gas station. It's called...

It's like a relaxation soda. I think I got scammed because i drank the whole thing and nothing's happened it's called sipping syrup and it says uh extended relaxation experience calmness and it's got a bunch of that's bold i should have read this before i drank it that's what i'm saying that's bold man this is three servings? No, two and a half, so I'm safe. Of the nonsense in here. And it's supposed to make you really relaxed, and it's got a bunch of...

Oh. Well, a bunch of made-up shit. Never mind. This was just an expensive soda. How much more was it than the regular soda? Like three bucks. Three bucks more. But it was like, hey, maybe this is like those Marley's Mellow Mood teas, How much more was it than the regular soda? Like three bucks. Three bucks more.

But it was like, hey, maybe this is like those Marley's Mellow Mood teas, which are pretty good if you've never had one of those. Never had one. Yeah, it's got like chamomile and shit in it. But who knows? Maybe I'll pass out right after this. Do you have a problem with that, with your podcast? I'm not sure when you record. But like after you finish, even if it's late at night, don't you have a thing where it's like, God god i feel kind of on right now there's no way i can just turn this off and and go to bed all the time yeah and all the time but like something like sometimes you just

can't get out of that talkative mode and yeah the performance mode extra hyper yeah just gotta put put on your headphones and... That's why I buy bootleg sodas from downtown St. Louis for men who have to hand them to me from underneath a bulletproof piece of glass. Enjoy your evening. I love when they've got the intercom even lately. They can't even allow the air to flow between you and them.

You might fucking gas attack them or something. So we were talking about earlier this week on PKN, I was mentioning that the real dolls, like the upgraded versions, now are going to come with artificial intelligence. And then, of course, I think that was spurred by watching the It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia season 13 teaser, where they show off that they had a real doll made of Dennis. And it got me thinking, and no promises,

but I'm going to try to contact the RealDoll company and their competitors and see if we could get one maybe for free or maybe for a reduced price. I'd pay something for it, for sure. But I want it to be someone we know. Who do you have in mind? That's not for me to decide. It's for the listeners to decide. And and again have to contact the people i'm not paying five or ten grand for the thing but

if they whittle it down to two grand i think that's worth it for a bit or something like that and i've now i've got a doll i can fuck i'll just put a bag over its head if it's something unseemly but who would you guys like it to be it could be be any of us here. It could be anyone in our little community. I think it would be funniest if you fucked yourself. I would love that. That would be my dream come true. Finally, I would... Oh, my God.

I'll pay 10 grand for that, whether they deal or not, if I can get one that looks just like... No, I don't want it to look like me. I would prefer a female, okay? I was going to say, would they charge extra if the real doll

was the size and girth of two normal people and had a MRSA scar? Huh. I think they do charge for those special orders like that. It would take quite a bit of silicone to fulfill that order. But

in my imagining, it's basically a standard female body special orders like that that would take a quite a bit of silicone to fulfill that order but um in my imagining it's basically a standard female body but the head the head is what's different right the face in particular because the one that we saw on that teaser for it's always sunny in philadelphia looks a lot like dennis and so you know maybe i I get Woody. Maybe. Yeah, exactly. You see that? That's his fucked up mouth. I can't wait for that to be Photoshopped on a bunch of real dolls. Maybe it's Steve Hofstadter.

You know? I don't know what it's going to be. It could be anyone. That's a lot of silicone in a forehead. It's less hair, though. You save money that way. You think it'd be more expensive, but it's just not. See, I feel like no matter what you get,

you're going to get two pumps in to fucking your doll and be like, this is beyond weird and not want to do it. Yeah, you're a lot more hung up on that sort of thing than I am. I'm going to be banging Woody's vagina two or three times a day every day. Would you fuck his mouth in the real doll? Every hole. Every hole.

He'd be a three-hole hookup for sure. Fully functional. He'd be down. Hypothetical female Woody would be down. Invite your friends over. Exactly. Who cares? If you're paying for three holes, get your money's worth. There you go.

I want the vibrating sphincter, though. I'm paying extra for that. I mean, if you go big or go home, I say. But yeah, I'd like to hear if you guys have any ideas. It could be anyone. It could literally be a Star Wars character, or any ideas. Who amongst our... It could be anyone. It could literally be like a Star Wars character, or it could be fucking Lefty.

It could be... You say three holes. You didn't even consider the Mercer opening. Mmm. It's so wrong, but so good. Mmm. That's disgusting, Cheers.

It's always wet. Yeah, it's always wet. And it's tight. This is stretched. Through penetration, you're going to tear it out to fit. Could you really, though? A Woody doll?

Yeah, I'd fuck the Woody doll. Just don't look at it, right? Like an all seriousness. I'm not going to missionary it and make out with it all seriousness. Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm not gonna missionary it and make out with it and lock eyes and be like, oh, Woody, your pussy's so fucking tight. Jesus, Arian, you wouldn't? I'm insulted.

I would not have a Woody doll. I have feelings. I am so glad Arian's here to back me up. Because I'm always given shit by Kyle going, oh, oh, you Quaker. You know, not wanting to fuck a real doll of your friend. So I'm glad given shit by Kyle going, oh, you Quaker. Not wanting to fuck a real doll of your friend. I'm going to put a bag

over its head. I'm going to put some makeup on it too. Make it look a little bit nicer. Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. Sounds of Lance. You put a bag on my head Joke's on you

You paid for three holes, you're getting two There's a fucking hole in the mouth of that bag Fair point, alright Touche That's vile Taylor I have feelings Vanilla Bean over here

Doesn't want to fuck a Mock up of his friend's head head stuck on a sexy fake female body that costs as much as a car when you when you put it like that then i seem foolish so yeah run the gambit um um definitely i am going to reach out to them and their competitors and see if they would work with us in some regard, at least getting the price down to something reasonable. I'm not spending $5,000, but I'd probably spend $2,000.

I don't know. I think it'd be a pretty epic bid. $2,000 might be worth it. I'd definitely spend one, 100%. But two's kind of absurd. I don't know. I definitely am going to see where we go with that. They might give us one.

We'll see. I wish you all the luck in the world, man. Thank you. Thank you. For your support, I promise not to make it you. I would appreciate that. That's just racist, Kyle. I'm not down with the brown. What can I say? I ain't mad at you, man. I ain't mad at you. I would appreciate that. That's just racist, Kyle. I'm not down with the brown. What can I say?

I ain't mad at you, man. I ain't mad at you. We all have our preferences. It's not your choice. I'd have sex with you. I weirdly appreciate it, man. Reluctantly accept. Kyle.

Yeah. Patreon question Lately I've been thinking a lot about how your life can change In just a year physically, emotionally, etc Do you ever watch old PKA's Just to gauge and see your evolution as a person Not necessarily that But it's interesting to watch old PKA's and remember what was going on then Because there's something about doing this show um and like like wherever we are at that moment in our

heads or in life that like i can go back and watch it and i can remember exactly what was going on like during that episode like i can remember like oh yeah i remember that we were in i was in i was in la doing that that stupid logan paul movie, and I was furious with the fucking production company or some of the old ones when, I don't know, none of us are on camera and stupid shit is going on. course the the the syndicate 1v1 like i wasn't on that show i was in seattle uh at a at a convention but i remember exactly where i was when like i heard about that like and so watching that i remember um i know where i was when it occurred because i i was eating dinner i was i was eating dinner down on the the the pier in seattle with uh like a whole shitload of youtubers i think chiz was even there and then you know we were walking up those steep hills in Seattle. You know how it is.

And word broke. And it swept through the group of what had occurred. And there was all kinds of crazy rumors about, you know, whoa, Wink's quit the show. And I'm like, what do you mean he quit? I take one... What do you mean he quit?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Syndicate beat him in a 1v1. He lost his shit, called Woody a faggot, and broke his controller. What? What? What? Those things all happened. And then Woody and I, I remember Woody and I are on the phone with him in the days to follow,

like trying to help him with PR. And, you know, I remember where I was during all that. So, yeah, that's, I definitely. He couldn't be reasoned with. He felt like he was right. Yeah. Yeah, we were. How dare he beat him in a 1v1

he deserves to have his teeth knocked out he should be murdered the dick somebody tweeted this at me Wings responded to me when I was on PK did you guys see that

so let me link you oh you guys don't know this i i i mean you saw it you saw i saw it i was like that's crazy bro i was on your side yeah that's insane i don't know where you are the one giving him the benefit of the doubt i don't know where it's going either i mean i mean even still you know what I mean? But hold on. Let me bring him up. Yeah, I remember. I remember you said hurt people hurt people.

I hadn't heard that term before. I hadn't heard it. It was eye-opening to me. So what if you apply that to pedophiles? Well, we don't apply things to them. Okay. Sorry. No one ever sticks up for pedophiles. All right, let's true. Well, we don't apply things to them. Okay. Sorry. No one ever sticks up for pedophiles.

All right, let's see. Oh, it's a video. Yeah. I viewed it zero. I'm ready. Ready, set, play. I don't give a fuck about people that want to wish me goodwill. I don't. Because fuck about people that want to wish me goodwill. I don't

Goodwill work is worth nothing You can't take Aryan Foster's like love and go in and go make a house payment with it I can't Yay some dude I never met never will talk to says he loves me fuck who gives a shit like honestly it's weird how much of a session Kyle has did you you seem to be the I don't I don't even bother looking at a sourdough room I mean bother looking at it I did I honestly think Kyle misses me I do too oh the fact the real factor in here is cheese like every time those guys miss me cheers below you you're a battered housewife or some shit like that. Man. Well, Arian, you were asking for it.

Right. Giving him the benefit of the doubt. Saying, hey, let's put a little more introspection into the way we're treating this individual. And then you get a, your kind words aren't going to pay my rent. Did you notice he almost said, fuck him, but he, like, stopped himself? There was a little hostility

there. I felt that as well. Yeah. He was almost like, fuck that, and then he kind of went to something else a little more polished. It's cool. I still got a lot of love for Wings, man. Yeah, we all do. Even though he don't want to accept it, man. It's all good, bro. I promise. See, that's the way to do it.

Turn the other cheek. But we don't like religion, so don't do that. Let's create some good content. All Flexipro wings is captivating. I don't know if you're aware, Arian, but he got the weight loss surgery, and he's lost, like, we don't know how much, but a significant amount of weight. I can see it, yeah.

I haven't watched any of his stuff in, like, two weeks or something, but, like, I did get linked a clip where he was, like, talking about how his shirts were very loose on him. And I think he, I can see that he's lost weight, for sure. That shit breeds confidence, and confidence just keeps turning into good feelings, man. I wish him well. Yeah. Like I said earlier, that loses a lot of weight, complains that sitting is uncomfortable. I see them and I think you still have quadrupled the cushion of anyone else I know.

Yet you think it's not comfortable to sit? I don't get it. Have you ever tried to sit in a child's seat? The kind that buckles into a car? That's what it's like. He's too wide. It's not that he doesn't have enough cushion. He's too wide for the arms of my chair. They rub his hips or sides. It's not that.

They say that now that I've dropped from 420 to 370, sitting is so uncomfortable. I have no cushion anymore. And I think, what from 420 to 370, sitting is so uncomfortable. I have no cushion anymore. And I think, what? You're still 370? Relatively. Yeah, you're just used to a lot more cushion. Right? Relatively. Imagine how the rest of the world

even gets by. Hmm. I had a friend that always says, you gotta be careful what you introduce your mind to, because it's hard to go back. That's definitely true. But after enough, you know, murder videos on the Internet, it all blends together. Hang out with the Internet five hours a week and you'll be numb to it. Exactly.

Yeah, just another little piece of your soul just disappears every time you watch one. Well, Arian, do you have anything to promote other than your album? Obviously, your album is great. We all enjoyed that. And then your podcast. Thank you so much. Yeah, just the podcast, man.

It's Now What? with me, so if you just Google it or it's on YouTube and Apple and what else? It's on everything except for Spotify. They don't fuck them. They won't call me back. So, yeah, just show love, man. I appreciate y'all giving me the opportunity again.

Shit is really fun hanging out with y'all. It's really long, but it's really fun, man. Y'all have die hard fans when i say like die hard like i i still get you look at my comments on the most recent podcast i guarantee you someone hey man from pk much love this shit is crazy man so shout out to all y'all's fans man it's dope i appreciate having you on man i like you yeah for sure always super easy to to go the four hours with you on. Gotta do it again. Yeah, we really enjoyed having you on. Got one more post-read here.

So, enter a world beyond sound and words and unravel a dark and twisted mystery unlike anything you've ever heard before. In The Quiet Man, an all-new immersive story experience that blurs the line between game and film. Available now on Steam. Square Enix. Very cool.

PKA 401.