Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #410

Episode Date: November 2, 2018

On this week's PKA, you join the cast for a very SPOOOOOOOOOKY Halloween edition of the show with everyone dressed up in hilarious costumes, some perhaps... a little too racey, we also begin talks and actually spawn the first ever PKA Fitness Competition, inspired by Joe Rogan and his friends, and then we gotta cap things off with laughing at Megyn Kelly getting fired because she doesn't understand why blackface is bad. All this and more on the Halloween episode of PKA.

Painkiller already, the Halloween episode 410. Kyle? New sponsors tonight, Postmates, Robin Hood, Morning Recovery, GetQuip, SmartMouth of course, Overlord, PUBG Mobile, where you can experience PUBG Mobile, the mobile game IGN calls a remarkable technical achievement. PUBG Mobile is the on-the-go battle royale at its greatest with eye-popping graphics, super smooth gameplay, and a variety of exciting game modes. Download the official mobile version of PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds for free by going to the Android or iOS app store and typing

PUBG Mobile. Collect a special reward using the link and promo code provided in this episode's description. Play now. As well as Fallout 76. Support for today's show, of course, comes from Fallout 76. Bethesda Game Studios, the award-winning creators of Skyrim and Fallout 4, welcome you to Fallout 76, the online prequel

where every surviving human is a real person. Work together, or not, to survive. Fallout 76 will be available worldwide on Wednesday, November 14th. Pre-order now at participating retailers and play the beta. Games play best on Xbox One. Check them out. Check both of them out. So everybody's looking great.

Woody, you appear to be a doll of sorts. The idea was that I was the PKA Marionette show, right? At one point these things had working mouths, kind of, in the prototype. There are lines here that I could operate. I'm a puppet, of course, myself. Taylor's head is gigantic.

I don't know if it shows in the camera. It's about twice as large. They have the same skull as the starting point. We just puttied and puttied and puttied and baked and puttied and baked and puttied until his head was about human size. One of Kyle's eyebrows moves. Yeah, it was a whole

production back here. You gave me some pretty thick eyebrows. Well done. Spot on. I don't know if you can tell because I normally have no eyebrows at all and now they just look kind of normal, but I have thick eyebrows too. About two hours ago, it was like all right let's let's scale back the scope of this operation it's like a school project or the last hour of iron chef it's just the sort of this like all right you know due date's gonna come uh what's the best thing that we can turn in and uh i think it turned out pretty well.

It did. That's very high effort. Are there – is it attached to you or is it behind you? I can't tell. There's like an IV stand behind me with this like marionette framework that we put together and counterweights on the ground that you're not seeing. It's a whole – Yeah. From the gym. So these things weigh like 12 pounds each.

It's a thing like 12 pounds each it's a thing 12 pounds each what are you going to fucking do with those after this well I guess now I have little dolls for my co-hosts in case I ever want to torture them with pins I never want to see them again after the show that's where we are right now

I wouldn't either that's kind of the life cycle of Halloween costumes they tend to go away and Kyle are you homeless or are you Jesus That's where we are right now. I wouldn't either. That's kind of the life cycle of Halloween costumes. They tend to go away. And Kyle, are you homeless or are you Jesus? I am Jesus Christ, your Lord and Savior. And I would think that a man of the cloth would know that. Of course, that was a test to make sure you weren't a false prophet.

Praise him. I wanted to make sure. I am, of course, a Gregorian monk. And I've actually been working hard on the character. I've been doing chants to get it. And so just give me a moment. Oh. Oh. And it goes on for another three or four minutes.

Yeah, several hours, actually. Hours if you just let it replay. That's my favorite part of Halo. Your favorite part of Halo is the Gorgon chant in the beginning. Totally. It gets you pumped. It does. It makes you feel like, man Gorgorian chant in the beginning. Totally. It gets you pumped. It does. It makes you feel like, man, I'm fighting for the Lord.

That's what it makes me think. So who else is itchy? I figured Woody's not. It's a pretty comfortable costume. I'm pretty sure there's a family of mice living in here. It's Very itchy. The crown of thorns is surprisingly the least uncomfortable part about all of this, although the rope is nice, especially when you don't wear anything underneath. That's nice. I can tell

this isn't human hair, which is more refreshing than not. If you're wearing fake hair, you wouldn't want it to be human, right? There's something odd about that. Are you wearing any human hair? I have two wigs and two beards, and this is actually the cheaper of them, believe it or not. The others are both real hair, but the cheap ones turned out to look much better. Okay. That's good.

Yeah, I didn't price shop the monks around. I found one and was like, that's silly, and I bought it. So that was my thought process. That's so easy compared to, this didn't start today. They have Halloween shops where you live. You walk right in, talk to the overweight women who volunteer there two weekends a year get your costume out the door but they're never helpful they like the one i went to where they wear shirts that are like uh just ask so i was like hey i've walked around the store a couple times and i can't find the handmade tail outfit because initially i was

going to wear that white bonnet and like the red handmade thing. And she was like, ah, can't help you. I was like, all right, well then take the shirt off, bitch. It says I can help. Oh, I had a real uncomfortable thing happen to me today that I know has probably happened to somebody before, but it's never happened to me is I was i was in an office building taking a shit it was like a big building where there's like like lots of different bathrooms it wasn't like i went into one area where there's just one stall it was like a public bathroom and i went to take a shit and so i was in there and there was nobody in there so of course i took the handicapped space and as i'm in the middle you know actually no i'm wrapping up i hear the door open and i hear the sound of wheels and i'm like ah must be a janitor or something you know how they'll

walk in sometimes and like wheel their shit in and be like oh somebody's using it and then they'll leave and then i noticed after another second i'm like that sounds like it sounds like an electric janitor scooter or something what could that possibly be and i i was sitting in there and then like i saw the sound got closer and i saw the shadow of wheels underneath where i was shitting oh no and i was like oh i don't even know what to do like i can't leave here in an empty bathroom and be like no i was just shitting where you need to sorry I just I didn't want to be in the other one is there a window in the stall that you could climb out of? No, I could see underneath where his wheels were. And so I I looked under there and then I started hearing like a like a

struggling noise he had started opening the stall adjacent to me the small one for non crippled folks and so he opened that and i was like at this point it's been about like 15 like i've been done shitting for like a minute and i'm waiting for him to get all the way in there and so and so i can like try and make an escape and and he gets like what i think is all the way in because i look under and i see like okay there are shoes there. They're standing, so I don't know what the deal of that is. Like, this guy, you know.

And so I start to open my outward door. Can't open it, because his chair is there. And now I'm looking through a gap at his chair, and all I can see, him standing in the stall, struggling like a crippled person would trying to get it worked out. And I, I literally, before he could turn back around, I, I slinked my body like through the gap and like quick walked out of there and

was just like, sorry. And it's just, and left. I couldn't even double proved you were not crippled. It didn't belong in that state it did i did not belong in there but i couldn't even face the poor guy like i just had to yell like a meek i'm sorry as i didn't even wash my hands i literally left and was like i

i'll deal with e coli hopefully that's not my own shit that would be a wake-up call but uh like i oh that was i felt so bad usually uncomfortable situations make me kind of laugh. But no, that was... So here's a lesson to take home. Those aren't just comfy spaces for you to poop. They actually make those for people who need more space to poop. Who knew that, though? Is this going to stop me?

Is this going to stop me in the future? No, because I like my power grip. I like being able to really force it. You take a wide stance. I take a wide stance i take a wide stance i actually i put both my feet up on top of the toilet bowl like this and then i just shit down into it a lot of splatter a lot of spray but that's the way people pooped in a while did you know that that's true you're meant to squat and so really we make fun of china and india for being you know a couple

thousand years behind and we should should because our way is better. But it is technically the way you're supposed to poop. That's true. That's a recurring theme on the Larry David show on Curb Your Enthusiasm. He gets caught shitting in the handicapped stall, and the handicapped guy makes a huge deal of it. So then later on, Larry is actually injured, and he in a wheelchair and he and he's waiting to go to the handicapped bathroom and a non-handicapped person walks out and he goes hey what's going on here that's for me he's like i had to go then you wait you wait so that's that's pretty funny this

actually happened to you in my first job not not exactly what happened to Taylor, but there was a manager. Now, this guy didn't manage people, so he wasn't my manager, but he was like manager class in the office. And I used the handicap stall all the time, thinking that it wasn't a handicap reserved. It was just handicapped accessible in the same way that I'm also allowed to use the ramp if I don't want to take the steps. That was the line of thinking. same way that I'm also allowed to use the ramp if I don't want to take the steps. That was the line of thinking. But this guy, every time he saw me in there, he would say, Woody, what are you doing? What happens if a quadriplegic with a spastic colon comes in this bathroom right now? That was his line. And at first I thought he was joking. And over time, I couldn't quite tell. And I worked

in a call center. So you would have to like set your phone to be unavailable when you went to the bathroom so he knew that I was going to the bathroom and then he would go in there and check to see which stall I was using and call me out on it if it was the handicapped stall so it happened all the time I love that you wow I love that you couldn't quite tell if he meant it or not even though he does it every single time. He was a funny person. Like, it's quite possible that, yeah, I still don't know. I still don't know.

Can you imagine a worse life than being quadriplegic with a spastic colon where you're just like, I need help right now! Right now! The one part of sensation the good Lord left me with is knowing when I'm about to shit, and it's coming. Fuck it! What a terrible life that would be that's worse than than like life in prison like in in solitary

confinement right like if that was a new age like freaky punishment like in scary movies where they're like nah you did something fucked we're not just gonna do this we going to cripple you and give you ibs pills like and now that's what you have necessarily mean uh colonoscopy like those bags i don't think necessarily no no it doesn't so no your butt your butthole would still work i know i just don't think they have the sensation to know when they're shitting so it depends on the type of paralysis but if they're if their colon is paralyzed and they're not able to operate it then they get like these crazy compacted poop issues so they have to get it hopefully they've got an assistant who who gives them enemas or perhaps just a a gangster granny to reach in there because we say neck down right like there's no and break the turtle yeah yes

well that that might be actually at first i was like well that sucks and it's like you know a little prostate massage i don't think they're gonna be massaging the prostate they're just breaking up the poop well you know if if i've got a gangster grandma that'll be right there in the job application you know just give me a come hither for about... Yeah, just keep going. Pretend like you really want me to come over, though. There you go, Granny. You need like a small wooden cooking spoon. No. Get in there and do some scooping.

Well, not for the prostate massage. Then you get splinters. But perhaps to break up the poop, a small wooden implement might be the way. Like a dowel. These are terrible ideas. I started with dowels. I'm up to rolling pins now.

I mean, it's a little bit too big, so I'm giving it some low-grit sandblasting to really get that good. Which one's the one that would make it comfortable? Low grit or high grit? High grit is what makes things smooth, right? For sandpaper? Yeah. Wait, what are we doing here? Are we sandblasting anuses? We're sanding the butthole down, yes,

to make it smooth and more appealing to the eye. Well, I was going to sand the towel down to make it smaller. Right? Well, I've been doing this wrong the whole time. You know, I think if I had a lot of poop impacted, I'd take a pill or something. Like, drink a bunch of water

or a bunch of kombucha. That makes you shit. And I tried it, and that stuff's way better than you'd think. Give it a go, people. A kombucha? Yeah. It's like this fermented thing

that it's effervescent, though. So it's pretty vinegary, which I like in a drink. And it's also like very lightly fizzy, like a champagne almost. It's real good. I've never heard of it. Although in my nearly half century, I haven't found a clog up that can't be solved by coffee and frosted mini wheats just yet. That shit is my kryptonite. Yeah. Coffee will get it done. like i drink coffee a couple times a month and every time i do like i need to be somewhere in half an hour like i can't be like all right going on a road trip let's have some coffee it's like no bitch i can't i can't risk that like no i gotta make sure that i'm i'm gonna be home or somewhere where i'm comfortable

shitting in the next 30 to 45 minutes it simultaneously makes me more productive and less productive together. It does. Cause there's coffee. Yeah, I've got exactly. We're not going anywhere for half an hour. Where's the,

where's the worst place you've ever had to poop in public? Like the worst bathroom, but think a gas station for most people, but there's also like concert porta potties, uh, locker rooms. those are both pretty shit our school locker room for a while didn't have any doors on the stalls because like people would like prank each other where they just like you'd be sitting down taking a shit and someone

be like good job kick the door off like while you're sitting there and like just be like and then eventually after a couple door replacements, they're like, boys, you've shown that you can't handle doors. They were right. So you just had to sit there and there's a four-foot wide scope where if someone's out there, they can just see you taking a shit.

Were you a door kicker, Taylor? No. No, because I wanted my privacy in there, and I did not appreciate people ruining it for the rest of us. Now I'm sensing sarcasm. At first I was like, okay. No, no, no. I wanted to be able to poop in private. Nobody wants to poop with the door open. Like Carl Pilkington in China where you have to squat there and people can just walk in and see.

Yeah, as I'm thinking about the worst ever, a hot, well-used porta potty is about as bad as it gets. I'd rather poop in the woods. ever a hot well-used porta potty is about as bad as it gets i'd rather poop in the woods you know i was watching uh i was watching jack i was watching jack ryan today and there's this part where there are some people they're trying to escape from syria to like turkey or something and they they're being smuggled and uh it's like a refugee smuggling operation type thing and they stop for 15 minutes to refuel and he's he's like you've got 15 minutes and then we're getting back on the trucks and going to the coast and they all go to like take a dump in this like refugee porta potty but it's basically just a gigantic flat board with some holes cut in it and like blue plastic tarp sort of wafting around it gingerly for privacy and at

one point they sort of show you the hole. This is the women's hole, by the way. So it's the cleaner of the two. And it's just caked in shit. There's just shit all over the hole. And a character gets knocked in the head and he falls into the women's shit pit. And I can think of no worse fate

than to get... He's laying there with the open wound in the women's shit pit. I'm not convinced women's is cleaner. But that's the better one. open wound in the woman's shit pit. I'm not convinced women's is cleaner. That's the better one. There'd be way more blood in their shit pit. It's that they hover. That's the issue.

In this case, they would all have to hover. Everybody hovers. It's a hole in a board. Everybody was hovering. Someone had had some explosive with that Middle Eastern food. Yeah, that's going to happen. We've all seen those videos. I think it's this woman walking on a security camera.

It's this big, fat woman. And she is all by herself, and she stops and lifts her dress and just sprays shit all over the ground and then casually walks away. There are five dozen of those videos on the internet and i empathize with those people because i remember having to poop under a fucking willow tree outside during a class trip once and that was no fun no fun at all you don't want to be that guy but there's also no worse feeling than having to poop and not being able to yeah i'd much rather hold my pee that's easy i don't know because like if you hold your poop long enough it goes back in and you get like 20 minutes reprieve you can get a second wind with regards to pooping yeah if you hold it long enough the poop is like he's saying no! Everybody back up! But with piss, it's just in there.

There's no backing up. It's just like, well, 10 minutes, 20 minutes until he either pisses himself or we rupture. That's it. Those are the only two options. That's true. That's why you need to, in the hospital, get cathetered all the time.

If you're on tons of those drugs that like for pain and stuff because it like shuts down your ability to know when you have to pee and so if nobody like gives you a catheter you'll you'll just rupture and you won't even know i've never had a catheter i think it's either it's one of my biggest fears yeah i've had a bunch of surgeries but i don't think i've ever had a catheter, it's one of my biggest fears is getting a catheter. Did Jackie Hand make my lips? Because I gotta say, if that puppet if that puppet's complexion was just

a wee bit darker, we'd have a Megyn Kelly situation going on. You're both a little simian, I have to say. Whoa. You are both a little simian. Well, we are apes. He was supposed to talk at one point. And this is a Kyle feature, but his eyebrow kind of moves.

It was all going to be synced in there. Is that a thing I do? His special attention was just ginormous head. He did have a sign that said, Democrats make America great again, but I didn't think you'd like it. Oh, I wouldn't care. They're little microphones.

The sign might be around here. Nice. Yeah, Kyle, those lips are a little generous for you, my friend, because you've got some dick-sucking lips on that. Goddamn right. Now I know what I'm going to do with them afterwards. You asked before I didn't have a plan. Now I do.

I'm just saying, hanging someone from a rope with those kind of lips. I don't know. We worked really hard on this puppet show. That's hilarious. I didn't even notice the lips I'm just looking at the lips and I'm like my lips aren't that big

are they like your jaw went through a lot of evolution to make this happen I see that yeah you got that like like lord undertooth or whatever from family guy that kind of look they are terrifying Yeah, like Lord Undertooth or whatever from Family Guy.

That kind of look. They are terrifying. Are we wearing pants? You know, it's kind of a waist up show. Okay. Are you wearing pants, Taylor? No. No. No, I'm wearing this itchiest of the Lord's robes.

I think that the Lord intentionally gave itchy robes to monks to keep them focused on him. Because if they weren't praying all the time, they'd have to be like, this is fucking rough. That's part of their penance, is the itchy robes, yeah. The itchy robes, the terrible wigs, that's all part of it. I think in real life, though, they actually shaved this part of their head. They really did, yeah. A friar tuck kind of look. They totally did

do that yeah i'm middle eastern or not middle eastern middle age uh a middle age monk and so we probably got you know frankly lord and savior christ we probably got quite a few things wrong with the gospel like like uh sacrificing virgins was that that in there? Because I was hesitant the first dozen, two dozen times, and then it just felt right. Well, the virgins are the purest of blood, so they are the ones to be sacrificed, and being a virgin myself at the tender age of 35 when I was turned upon by, well...

I thought you hung out with whores. He did, but it was all above board. And he still couldn't get laid? Jesus Christ. Talk about a sure thing. If Mary Magdalene doesn't put it. Hey! If you can't score with Mary Magdalene, then you've got no game.

Your mother and father and I have been speaking quite a great deal about you. They call me every night and they tell me of your deeds or misdeeds, perhaps we should say. Misdeeds. If you're telling them, then they might learn some shit they don't need to know. I was looking around for a Bible

to have as a prop, and I was like, man, I don't even know where it is. So I gave up. Guess I need to buy a new Bible. And then I'm going to have as a prop. And I was like, man, I don't even know where it is. And so I gave up. Guess I need to buy a new Bible. And then as soon as I get the Bible, I'm going to flip through it a thousand times, make it look really worn and red, highlight random passages throughout it, and put notes

like, good shit, in the borders so when someone sees it, they'll be like, this is a man of God. The highlighting means nothing. It starts and stops mid-sentence, like across two. And the Lord saith unto him... Well, I guess he was only concerned about that section. It's more that he was saying it, not what was said that I'm concerned with. Jesus, thank God you're here.

What is the book, because you know you wrote a pretty long book for us, and it's getting exhausting. If I can pick one book, or a couple, to just say, fuck that, and not read them anymore, which one should they be? Well, Leviticus. There's a lot of things in the Old Testament,

which, frankly, were only thrown in to appease the Jews. And personally, I'm not the biggest fan of them. My good friend Mel Gibson made a whole movie about them. And he spoke openly through me, of course. Jesus Christ, the original self-hating Jew. Well, I was born of a Hebrew woman, yes, Through me, of course. Jesus Christ, the original self-hating Jew. Yeah. Well, I was born of a Hebrew woman, yes,

but my father was God Almighty. And he's not Jewish, but it goes matrilineally. So I'm sorry. Ah, yet another lie from the Jew to make yours truly look bad. You know what would be good? I wish that you were black for this so that your bit could be like saying, you know the black Israelites

who will stand and scream at people in New York and stuff and be like Jesus was black! He was a proud black man living in the Middle East and screaming at people. That would be funny. I was going to wear a sombrero and I was going to wear a sombrero, and I was going to be, Jesus Christ!

Jesus. You know, I like the original Christ more. I do, too. Jesus Christ has a sweet ride, though. Right? Nice big rims. It bounces up and down. Hydraulics in there.

He bounced across the Sea of Galilee in his low rider, whatever the fuck they drive yeah instead of the apostles i got a bunch of cholos see i like actually i like your jesus a lot because your very white european bone structure like you look like a painting of jesus like we're the ones where they saw like middle eastern a little darker jesus like like not even like european jewish like middle eastern jewish like when if they saw a picture here they'd be like yeah yeah but how you know what actually instead of that look

at this podcast dress up guy i have a guy in georgia he's got great bone structure and i think it's going to bring more money into the church that's the reason they did it that's trying to play off the pilgrims the idea of a of a brown afro sporting jesus christ just just rubs a lot of puritanical people the wrong way quite frankly yeah they wouldn't care for it it'd be like if they were like actually muhammad uh he was a proud mongolian like no they would they actually no they probably wouldn't wouldn't care about Mongolians there, right? I don't know. Mongolians, they fly under the radar. I feel like I never hear anything about them.

They're just living, herding sheep, riding horses. Drinking beer. And that's not even a joke. That's pretty much what they do still. They have poorly paved roads. You don't need roads

when you have horses. They have them and they're poorly paved. It's a thing. Megyn Kelly Halloween topic She apparently is some hot In some hot water

For not understanding why blackface is bad More than hot water So the discussion was simply that She was Someone Some white woman had dressed up as Diana Ross You know the famous musician Who's a black woman

Was it for Halloween or for a movie? I want to say For Halloween I want to say. I could be wrong about that, but it's immaterial. But she basically said, what's the big deal? She's dressed up as Diana Ross. Like, what's wrong with that? You know, this is a disrespectful black face, sort of echoing what Woody has said from time to time.

And now she has lost her show and she's fired from NBC. Of course, she gets to keep her $69 million, so fuck it, right? She doesn't have a hood pass like me, so it's harder for her to get away with the things that I can't. That's her problem. Yeah, you definitely have a hood pass. Yeah, I mean, Forrest gave it to me. I didn't look into it, but was her thing really like,

yeah, if they want to dress up as this person, you know, in a non-mocking way, that's okay. You know, I only read about it. I didn't see the actual video. I don't care either way about that. But I think that her argument kind of mirrored one that I've made in the past, which is like, they're not, if I understand it right,

they weren't mocking Diana Ross. They were just dressing up as Diana Ross because they liked Diana Ross, and they thought it was like a cool thing to be in the same way that people would do Spider-Man or Captain America or Diana Ross. Yeah, you can't do that. They could do Whiteface.

I feel like people are being snowflakes about this. And, you know, now, look, if you're mocking a race, I don't like that, right? That's mean-spirited. It's a form of bullying. If you're just a race, I don't like that. That's mean-spirited. It's a form of bullying. If you're just being that race for Halloween because you think they're cool, then I don't understand.

I think people are being too sensitive. They're not even being a race for Halloween. They're being a person. They're not even like, hey, you know what I should be? I'm going to be a really offensive version of Chinese people. Or I'm going to be just a black guy with a lot of like offensive stereotypes they're like hey i'm gonna be this person who i kind of admire i'm sitting here as an incredibly disrespectful version of christ and yet i'll let you know that it doesn't matter how respectful

you're trying to be and if there's a specific black person that you're trying to be you can't do it unless you're robert downey jr because he was playing a guy who's playing a guy who's playing a guy and that's okay that was hilarious yeah that's funny because that was in a mainstream movie 10 years ago that movie is fucking excellent he was nominated for an oscar bad taste see he he was nominated for an oscar for wearing blackface and 10 years later megan kelly gets well i mean to be fair megan kelly's ratings were shit and they're probably looking for a way to get more advertising money out of it and they're like hey uh you're you're fired for thank god you said

something like we were really hoping to get you out of here and now you are but like yeah i agree with what his initial point of like he like kyle's right that you can't get away with it. There's no reason to risk it because your life will be ruined. It will be over. It doesn't matter if you're not trying to be offensive or not because people will have fun patting themselves on the back about how much better they are than you. But there's a chasm of difference between a minstrel show in 1904

and being like, man, I admire this person who happens to be black. I'm going to be them. Yeah, if I went as Obama for Halloween this year because I thought he was the best president of my lifetime and I dressed up as him and I did it in a respectful way, it's not insulting. Or at least if your intent isn't insulting, then some guy getting offended on behalf of Obama,

it just seems off target. You're white. You don't get to decide that. Well, I mean, that's what I'm saying. That's the way the world is. I flip it. Yeah, I'm with Taylor. I understand that there are people who operate that way.

Ideally. But whiteface is also very offensive. If you want to be Woody's gamer tag for Halloween, knock yourself out. Go for it. Do the whole fan on your back and garbage bag wing and be Woody for be woody for halloween i don't care it doesn't hurt my feelings i'm kind of honored that you'd pick me but unless you're a black person you paint yourself white and then that's offensive no i don't decide that if they're being woody i do get to decide that why would you why would anybody nobody's ever been fired for white face nobody

fucking cares no no of course. We're not allowed to. But why would you either way? I'm just telling you. She had several black people on the show to try to help educate herself. They all told her that she had fucked up. And then Al Roker comes out of nowhere, the whitest black guy in the world,

and then he has to explain. When you've got Al Roker explaining menstrual shows to you you you done fucked up he's explaining minstrel shows yeah like that'd be funny if she was like talking about it like really gently like well you know you know she just wants to be condoleezza rice you know i look at the picture right here and there are like big lips and like googly eyes and like the most offensive. She's like, see, I see, I see, Mr. President. I feel like I'm looking right at Miss Rice right now. If that was her take, that would

be so much fucking funny. See, I have no problem with this. Same one? Really? Really? Okay. I think Missile Shows are an important part of our history if she took that hot take. Yeah, if you're not being disrespectful in your costume, if that's not what's in your heart, then, you know, to advance race relations, we need to stop, you know, throwing daggers about it.

I guess you don't throw daggers. Throwing spears. Oh, my God, I just made it racist. We need to stop shooting bullets about this. I don't know what to say. We need to stop, like, you know, attacking people. Are you dog whistling about crime in Chicago? I don't know what to say. We need to stop attacking people. Are you dog whistling about crime in Chicago? I don't need to be.

But yeah, people who are too sensitive and cause problems when they don't need to be, that's not good for... Yeah, I know Kyle's doing his thing. That's not good for race relations. Kyle, can you absolve Woody real quick? There's no absolution for this I'll take the lead Woody, you are forgiven Thanks for that

I actually can't forgive you unless he's on board People who have purity in their hearts shouldn't be thrown out to the wolves like that That's not what my father wrote Is that right? Your dad was a dick, dude.

Of course he is. He is a jealous and vengeful god. You better smarten up or burn in a lake of fire. That's his game. I bet your dad's cool with blackface. Oh, he's fine with it. Yeah, he actually, didn't he invent it? He did. It was a punishment. Yeah.

When he cursed people. He cursed people by making them black all the sons of hand yes so racist well that's literally in the bible where they're like and they were cursed with dark skin from hereafter and it's like reading back at that it's like oh this is one of those ones we don't we don't talk about anymore like in any church they're not gonna be like you know today we're gonna talk about talk about like, in any church. They're not going to be like, you know, today we're going to talk about black people and the curse of darkness. Like, no pastor is leading with that, which is so funny, because when you spend

as much time in church as I did, you figure out the cycle of things. And so when you finally, like, read the book on your own, you're like, oh, this is why we were on that cycle, because that was the good cycle of wholesome things. Of course they're not going to bring the cursed people to be black or beat your slave half to death. How long is this thing that Kyle linked

where we get to see Meg and Kelly? Let's watch it. Yeah, it's time-stamped. I'm at 125. I hear you. The big screen wasn't set up. Yeah, take's time-stamped. I'm at 125. I hear you. The big screen wasn't set up. Yeah, take your time. I was just saying I'm at 125.

Yeah, I'm good to go. I'm going to be a minute. I'm sorry. No worries. She went from being real popular on Fox to not very popular on Fox to semi-popular on NBC, and then not popular anywhere very quickly

it seems. Yeah, her show sucked. Got poor ratings. Became silly right away. And then she said some stupid shit. No, I just watched Howard Stern mock it. Howard Stern was giving shit to Norm McDonald or something something recently did you hear about that

uh that's surprising he had norm on the show um to like defend those comments he made not too long ago and um and they had a good time together i didn't i didn't catch him saying anything bad about norm um but but you know I don't listen every single day. And I think he does like three shows a week now. Oh, maybe I'm mistaken then. Let me try and find this. Jesus is pro-vaping, by the way. He's fine with it.

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But Post Malone spent, I think, $40,000 last year on Postmates. That's got to be some kind of a record. I definitely don't spend $40,000 a year on fucking Postmates. That's crazy. Well, I got it going. I had to do a weird workaround, but it works. All right, I'm ready. Ready, set, play.

Roker really chime in on this issue. The fact is, while she apologized to the staff, she owes a bigger apology to folks of color around the country, because this is a history, going back to the 1830s, minstrel shows to mean and denigrate a race wasn't right. I'm old enough to have lived through Amos and Andy, where you had white people in blackface playing two black characters, just magnifying the worst stereotypes about black people. And that's what the big problem is. And that's what the issue is. And following that, we have Megyn Kelly on her show.

Start with this. And I want to begin with two words. I'm sorry. You may have heard that yesterday we had a discussion here about political correctness and Halloween costumes. She looks so upset. And that conversation turned to whether it is ever okay for a person of one race to dress up as another.

A black person making their face lighter or a white person making theirs darker to make a costume complete. I defended the idea, saying as long as it as it was respectful and part of a Halloween costume it seemed okay. I learned that given the history of blackface used in awful ways by racists in this country, it is not okay for that to be part of any costume, Halloween or otherwise. I'd like to wash her feet. She's been hitting on the notes if she doesn't want to add to the divide in the country right now and then there's a standing ovation in that crowd we saw a variety of reactions all right yeah the main takeaway is uh al roker's comments i'll get that

you know i can't convince millions of people they're wrong and perhaps if i disagree with millions of people there's a chance that i'm wrong right that's that go that way sometimes but i don't know i see where she was coming from she wasn't trying to hurt anybody's feelings she wasn't bullying she wasn't putting anyone down she it was sort of a can we move past this kind of thought process which doesn't seem inherently evil yeah uh it's never going to be something that's not moved past in this country ever al roker is like yeah i had to live through minstrel shows. Yeah, this wasn't a minstrel show.

I get that. Minstrel shows were mocking a whole race of people. And that, we all agree, is bad. When did minstrel shows stop? I don't know. It was called Black Tuesday. It happened on a Black Tuesday. The only one I can think of is...

1978, the last of the menstrual shows. I've got it on DVD. I want to say when I was a little kid, there were certain Disney racist films that still existed. Like Jungle Book, I think, has hints of that. Not Jungle Book necessarily, but Dumbo has these crows.

Yeah. So there's the crows in Dumbo. And Jungle Book has people too. It has an ape, a orangutan that does some singing that's clearly meant to be like a black jazz band type thing. I don't know why you're laughing. I'm right about this. Because you called it a orangutan.

What is it? Orangutan? Yeah, there's no ape. So the orangutan that I think was not a really respectful display you know it was i can see how people would be offended by that orangutan but uh yeah anyway i just i don't think the orangutan was was voiced i want to say it was voiced by that white guy he's a famous voice actor um oh not the orangutan i'm thinking i'm thinking of the bear in jungle book i want to say the bear was voiced by the same uh actor who voiced like the um uh in robin hood he was also he was like little john

that guy's got a great voice i can't think of it bill harris doesn't it was that the guy i love that guy's voice i love those old disney cartoons what's your favorite disney cartoon like like like the old ones the the disney. It's got to be old? Well, you know, Aladdin, Lion King, the animated ones, not the digital shit. As a kid, Jungle Book was my number one by far. I love the Jungle Book. Bare necessities, I'm sinful, bare necessities. Yeah, I remember when my brother tore all the tape out of the tape and ruined it and i was i was so upset i liked the jungle book too when i was a kid but i really just liked the one song that like the one song was enough for

that whole movie to be the best uh if you extend it i think the best thing they've made is um frozen but kyle had never seen that one yeah not that digital shit the the originals right like like i i love uh robin hood robin hood was my favorite one i love the songs that rob mood and little john running through the forest jumping fences climbing trees and trying to get away yeah of the new ones i liked toy story the most i think of course yeah that's that's super high rated chis and i often chis and i argue all the time. He refers to the Toy Story trilogy as the greatest film trilogy ever. And I strongly disagree, as you might imagine.

Well, that's silly, but it's a very good cartoon series for children. So I guess, Taylor, you'd vote for Lord of the Rings, I'm guessing? For all time film series, probably Lord of the Rings. Trilogy. I mean, he specifically said trilogy. Yeah, trilogy.

So that's why you can't vote for Harry Potter. You're true number one. Yeah, that's my true number one. I love Harry Potter. I love Harry. I love Hermione. I love all of the characters that I know their names. But it would take too long to list. Hagrid.

Some of them you can't say their names. Gay Gandalf. And the rest. The list goes on. Really white guy with the albino looking hair who seems to be mean. Oh no, that's

Lucius Malfoy. His dad's got a dope cane liked him that's a sick fucking cane it is a sick cane that guy who's always like Mr. Potter with the black hair Snape you know he seemed to always be in a sour mood

that's an astute observation most people didn't pick up on that and this is coming from paying attention to a tenth of the movie at a time sitting in the back of a car like on road trips years and years ago while my brother was watching them and that snape guy it seemed like he wasn't happy by not having friends but then he didn't behave in a way that that anyone would want to be his friend you know very people do. Snape had the saddest story of any character in the Harry Potter books. When you get to the bottom of it,

I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen or read the books from 20 years ago now. But man, when I read that for the first time, I went to the midnight releases for the last three books because I was seven at the time of course not 25 um but it was really sad when you when you get there's this like flashback in the book and you get snape's real full story and it it's it's sad it's sad it's it hurt me right here did he always talk like that or was he like molested or something and that turned him into it he was picked on mercilessly and uh he kept a deep dark secret his entire life basically and uh because he loved someone very much who was it harry potter's mother he loved harry potter's mother

and so uh he protected harry potter for years um uh because of his love for harry potter's mother i just want to interrupt and point out for people who this simian looking version of kyle is not hanging from his neck there is a thumbtack in the top of his head it's not a noose because i'm looking at it on screen thinking that's what it looks like but he's not being hanged he's not being you didn't you didn't ledge't ledge a monkey for Halloween and then defend blackface. That's crazy. There's a little thumbtack type thing at the top of his head. Oh yeah, you know.

I heard that, that, that, that red shirted doll actually, actually spoke to a white woman in public. Jesus Christ. And that doesn't fly in North Carolina. shirted doll actually actually spoke to a white woman in public jesus christ and that doesn't fly in north carolina the thumbtacks using manila envelopes where you like push them in and spread them out that's what they're being held up by because it really looks bad over my shoulder it looks terrible that's funny yes so snape he he loved harry potter's dead mom so much that he that he hung out with the kids and protected them yeah yeah and even though they didn't like him because they're like this guy's fucking weird probably well he hates harry potter because of how much harry looks like his father

and harry potter's father picked on snape mercilessly in school because harry potter's father was like the cool slick kid and snape was always the greasy haired um sort of nerdy outcast but he had been friends with harry potter's mother lily in their childhood but they were but he was sort of in the friend zone permanently uh and harry potter has his mother's eyes so he every time he looks at harry he's reminded of all of these terrible childhood traumas. Is he a little turned on by Harry? Where he's like,

I wanted to fuck your mother, but you're all that's left. You know, and so he wanted to give it to Harry. Never in a million years could I imagine being mad at some child because he looks slightly like his father who was cooler than me. Not mad, wants to fuck him. He doesn't just look like his father though.

He doesn't just look like his father though, right? He's sort of the embodiment of his father who was cooler than me. Not mad, wants to fuck him. He doesn't just look like his father, though. He doesn't just look like his father, though, right? He's sort of the embodiment of his father. He acts like Harry Spodder. Or he acts like his father acted. Put this wig on and look up to me as you place it in your mouth. Anyway, that's one of my favorite film series or book series or stories.

I would go as far as that. It's top five stories ever written down, I think. I love the Odyssey. I love fucking Star Wars as a story, not so much as it's been displayed. Oh, let's talk about this. So Disney is putting out the rest of the Clone Wars. Are you aware of this? Is it the rest?

No, there's Clone Wars they made that they didn't release. Okay. I've never seen the cartoon show. They're making more Clone Wars. But it's going to be on their digital service. At first. Torrent time!

Look, I don't steal content. I pay for my UFC pay-per-views. I purchase movies and TV shows from Amazon. I'm proud to do those things and support the content creators that I care about. But fuck you, Disney, you gigantic corporation, with your lame-ass streaming service

that nobody wants to be part of. No, I'm going to steal fucking Star Wars. God, I hope they're not a sponsor soon. I need to know what their library is, right? Because I think they're going to steal fucking Star Wars. God, I hope they're not a sponsor soon. I need to know what their library is, right? Because I think they're going to rival Netflix's price. Are they going to rival their content, right? Because Netflix has developed a lot of stuff on it. Well, I don't know.

What if out of the gate, suddenly, what do they own, ABC? Does that sound right? I don't know. It's ABC or NBC. They own one of those. If suddenly you get a live TV service, a bunch of sports and everything Disney has ever been associated with, all those movies,

all those like you think of Disney and you think of like their 18 hit movies, but they've got their fingers in everything. They might instantly come out with more than Netflix has. Netflix just spent like two more. I wish I knew. They tried to get a loan for two billion more. They didn't spend it. Burning money though.

A new movie came out that I've been trying to get the boys to watch when they called Apostle. And it's like in the year 1910 1915 where this guy is going to like a cult to try to get his sister back or something like that. And there's all these crazy torturous rituals going on. And the the previews there's all kinds of like people getting pulled

apart and burn alive and holes drilled in their heads and and it's spooky as fuck it's a it looks like it's a great halloween movie i can't think of anything what's netflix's great series like what's their best thing because hbo's got a bunch of them house of cards i was thinking that house of cards might be their best i'm a big fan of uh um the last kingdom uh big fan of the last kingdom um that's good it just doesn't get the recognition it's due i think ozark is really good that's one of my favorites on there that they've done uh maybe i'm biased because I like that actor, whatever the main guy in that is. What other? Daredevil? Yeah, I like Bateman.

I liked Daredevil enough, but I feel like if you start bringing up Daredevil in their top three, that implies that it's not great. HBO's top three is like Sopranos, The Wire, Game of Thrones. Orange is the new Black, Black Mirror,

Making a Murderer. Yeah, I still don't feel like any of those. Narcos. None of these are the same level as Game of Thrones or HBO's Heavy Hitters. Narcos, very good. I didn't see that so i won't oh man you

should check out narcos narcos is fucking strong yes it was good it didn't blow me away i i don't know man narcos is very good to me especially the first season i know chiz loves orange is the new black i've never seen an episode of that like that just it looks so boring to me i'm current on that i enjoyed the first season or two it's falling off for me but i like it ish yeah it's it's uh i've never watched it either and you know i'm not not interested in it frankly uh but american vandal was fucking funny how's the second one is it because i haven't watched the second one yet. That's the one where they dose the lemonade and everybody shits in the cafeteria or all over the school or something.

For some reason, I keep doing this same stupid thing which is like, oh, 30-minute episode. I don't know if I want to commit to that. Instead, I'll commit to like four 15-minute YouTube videos. And I could have consumed some better content than i actually found the number one thing that keeps me up too late at night with consuming content is i'll be like oh you know what i'm gonna go to bed in like 20 minutes i'm gonna watch one of those videos of those like fucking filipinos or indonesians or whatever like silently making

stuff and like building stuff in nature like they make a pool they make areas for like keep their fish if they want to eat them right away they have like running water and like these really nice areas and i'll always end up watching like primitive technology 90 minutes something like that right it's like primitive technology but they're way fucking better at it like okay way better and so you watch these guys and their little tricks that they'll do and like rice patties like intentionally flood one and then intentionally deflood it as soon as they chase a giant fish into there and so then they like like they'll like keep letting the water loose and like chase down these gigantic fish it's really cool but i always spend at least

like 90 minutes watching them because it's fucking fascinating i don't remember i think and you can tell they're legit because the name of their channel doesn't make that much sense in English. It's like Technologies Survival or like some kind of silliness. Do you guys ever watch that kind of shit? I think I have seen that. And I remember their channel name being, in my head, a play on primitive technologies. Like they wanted like the off-brand version of it. I don't know.

Not very current technologies or something like that. Not modern. Survival skills primitive. That's what it is. That's what their channel is called. Yeah, see? Versus primitive tech. One of you guys is going to fall before the end of the night.

Yeah, one of us is going to go. Who's going to go first? I don't know. One of you guys is going to fall before the end of the night. Yeah, one of us is going to go. Who's going to go first? I don't know. Someone's driving. If one of us falls, is the other one going to be, like, trebuchet across the room? It could be. It could be. That could happen.

Do you want to watch this video I have, the disturbing one of the kid getting bullied? Sure. All right. I just saw it today, and it's on my head a little bit. Like, these guys really bully too hard. I'm going to go out on a limb here. Are you guys ready? Mm-hmm.

So I'm queued up. Three, two, one, play. Y'all ready, Cranko? One more time. Kiss my f***ing foot. Kiss his foot, n***a. Kiss my f***ing kiss his n***a. If you're on audio, there's a guy on his knees, and he's kind of smaller.

And there's a bigger dude standing there telling him to kiss his foot while his friend holds a real gun to his forehead. Like, they want him to stand up. Now he's punching him. The kid isn't even punching back. And you can see he comes up to about his nose. The big guy doesn't need a gun. This is like that episode of Rick and Morty where the bully pulls out the knife. He's like, oh, I really don't think you needed the knife.

You really had things handled before that. Dude. So the big guy is not in terrible form. He's just lighting him up. Left, right, left, right. Punching him in the face. Well, that's not bullying. That's assault.

That's terrorizing. That's aggravated assault. That guy's 17, so in Missouri, he's an adult. In Alabama, he's a senior citizen. Oh, this is a Missouri event? I didn't know it was a Missouri event. Are you sure, Kyle? Yeah. Okay.

Well. Oh, it's the top comment. That guy's probably not going to do well in juvie where he doesn't have a gun, and there are bigger kids who did much worse things. Or no, he won't go to Juvie. He'll go to jail because he's an adult. Yeah.

Hopefully they try him as an adult. What about the guy holding the gun? That is beyond the fucking pale of bullying. Holding a gun to someone's head and being like, fight me! And it's like, somebody has a gun on me right now like no that's not bullying like kyle said that's that's criminal assault and battery like in brandishing how many crimes are there right there i used to tell the story like so i would ride my bike home and they'd drive the car over the curb and like block my path on the sidewalk i thought bullying was bad then right

i didn't like that much these guys jesus it yeah that's extreme that's a jesus christ this is yeah don't take your name in vain i can say what i want god damn it holy me i also have a video of a bit of teen bullying um what you're gonna what you're gonna want to know uh as we queue this up is that the driver has found the young man who owes him a bit of drug money. I'm sure lots and lots of money, like cocaine and heavy drugs, right? No, no. He's owed a paltry sum, and yet,

Gator don't play no shit, and you better have Gator's money, or else something bad like this will happen to you, and he gets his girlfriend to film with her cell phone so that he can show any other punks who might want to try to short him. This guy's very clever I think. Yes. Three, two, one, play. Girl's nervous. That's him in the red shirt there i don't see him huh oh they're accelerating

oh shit i see him now jesus now the windshield's ruined he said fuck him he said i think he said, fuck yeah. I don't know. You could be right, too. Nick just ran that kid over with his fucking car. See, you guys said you were posting bullying videos. Hey, guys, I've got this

really fun bullying video where three hilarious Russians corner a homeless guy in the woods, and they hilariously stab him to death as he gurgles it's like get over it bitches you know they're really razzing him good quite a rash that happened to all of us as kids and it made us stronger men you remember when you were a kid and you chased people down in your fucking ford

uh fiat whatever whatever goddamn thing that is Dude That's terrible At first I was like well he's stopping at the stop sign I like that about him But he should have stopped for pedestrians too That's how I would have done it He didn't only not stop It looks like he got up to about 30-35 When he collided with the guy

How much money could that have possibly been For a teenage Maryland pot dealer Like $100 tops right like could not have been a large sum of money and who sells drugs on credit uh bad drug dealers mistake number one yeah i don't give anybody credit for anything have you ever sold anything to someone and they'd be like hey i'll i'll get you back in a week or two, right? Let me just take this TV set. Did you see this badass's picture underneath his mugshot? Yeah, he's not going to fare well.

No. He got 25 years. Well, he'll eventually be an adult, toughen up. Or nothing turns you into an adult faster than ass rape. That's when you start seeing the true light and darkness in this world and and that's what's going to happen to him yeah he's going to run into schillinger day one get a nice little anus tattoo and then just get plowed he's going to get plowed the way he plowed his Chevy Cavalier into the back of that kid's knees. Well, you know what they say. Talk shit, get hit.

Yeah. I don't know that he talked any shit. Well, he won't now. Not through that breathing tube. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, hopefully that kid's okay. I don't know. Whatever.

Yeah. I don't know. Whatever. if you wanted to fix him you could lord um that's that's not in the cards just trust me that's not in the cards frankly he's a bit of a prick i'm not as affected by it you know he was a drug dealer i mean everybody says i'm a nice guy but i could snap my fingers in like all hunger and disease. So he stole the marijuana from the guy's friend. I don't think he was a dealer. I think the victim just stole marijuana from his friend. He may have sold it on credit.

That kind of ties in, but different. It's stealing pot in the world of stealing drugs. I imagine that someone broke into my home and they don't touch my electronics. They don't go to like a safe and steal the guns. They like take my microwave or something. There's a piece of me that feels like stealing pot is worse. And I'll explain when you steal meth, when you steal heroin, you're in a bad way, right? You need to get well by taking this drug. When you steal pot, that was a crime of convenience.

You didn't have to smoke pot. Pot's not addictive in the same way that heroin is. This guy stole pot simply because he wanted to kick back, eat Cheetos, and watch television. But he's still a thief. Yes, yes. But he's a worse thief because he wasn't like if you're starving and you steal bread we all have a little bit of sympathy for what you're going through if you're like at your wits end and addicted and you can't survive without heroin then i i have a certain sympathy

for the spot that you put yourself in but if you steal pot well shit, shit. That's stealing when you didn't have to. I see it similarly to like if I'm starving and I sneak into a Walmart and I go to the frozen section and I steal 10 DiGiorno stuffed crust pizzas and they catch me and I'm like, I'm just trying to survive. crust pizzas and they catch me and I'm like, I'm just trying to survive. I should be in way more trouble than the guy who went in and stole a bunch of tombstone pizzas because I went in knowing that I'm stealing something and I still went for the high margin, high quality DiGiorno stuffed crust when I just as easily could have filled my belly with the low quality jacks with the terrible, terrible pepperoni. So, and so in that way, i think you should be punished harshly for stealing the di giorno stuffed crust and not harshly at all if you steal the jacks or the tombstone it's like then that's like a tacit admission of like yeah i'm stealing but i'm stealing stuff that you're

not gonna want that much anyway like you're not just stealing bread you got like a nice french baguette yeah and some and some fucking cheese. You know? Like, no. You better not be stealing fucking... If you are trying to walk out of there with a 12-pack of Coke, no. To prison. You're walking out of there with some Vess or Shasta, I say let you go. Or water. Unless it's diet. Unless it's a diet.

If they're stealing a diet one, then they're too vain. It's like, you don't even want calories. You were just looking for flavor, you little bitch. So, no stealing diet sodas. No stealing stuffed crust DiGiorno pizza. That's a very interesting criminal code when Taylor writes it. calories you were just looking for flavor you little bitch so no stealing diet sodas no stealing stuffed crust di giorno pizza it's a very interesting criminal code when taylor writes it it is it's almost like i'm making it up as i go chief justice taylor i don't know that i can confirm you they would be i'd be such a good

chief justice because they'd be like you know we like, we don't know who has the majority. Sometimes he seems to just guess. We thought he was hardline conservative and then he threw us one where he said, actually, I'm mandating abortions and we don't know what to think. I have an idea. I watch Joe Rogan

maybe 10 hours a week or something like that i i watch a lot of joe rogan yeah i watch a lot of it as much as i can uh big fan they are doing something very interesting for october um not just sober october which we're all familiar with where they all stop drinking and smoking um they are doing a fitness challenge and it inspired me uh to start a fitness challenge with chis and then i brought taylor into the fold and so then we decided that that we should just have a pka fitness challenge perhaps so you use this device i believe it's called an mz3 it's it goes it's not it's not one of those Fitbit things, which are quite inaccurate. This thing is like 99.4% accurate EKG. It goes around your midsection. It's like a belt that

you wear under your pecs. And they have this proprietary unit of measurement to determine, I think it's called an mep or something to determine how much work you've done and i believe it's based on how often how long you keep your heart above its um its resting point and how high above its rest resting point that you keep it um and uh chis created this url to create a bit of a game out of it um but but the idea would be and he says don't share the url yeah yeah he said be very careful not to expose the url to the viewership because they would you know fuck it up um oh that should have sent yeah there we go um he's got some suggestions for ways to make a bit of a game out of it.

Chiz is competing. He and I ordered ours earlier today. We used their website, not Amazon, so that you can guarantee delivery. But I think it will be fun. And this is what Chiz and I are doing is that for the month of November, we're going to have a competition to see who generates the most MEPs, which is what Rogan is doing. Rogan says he's been working out like these five, multiple times a day, five hour long sessions of working out.

And apparently he's generated hundreds of MEPs per session or something like that. I've listened to Rogan talk about it quite some. He's trying to double up what the competition is doing. And there's a big part of me that's like, you know, you're on steroids, though. He's like, I'm doing shit those other people can't do. I work out five hours a day. But you're on steroids. It's not the same.

You know, like, I'm such a specimen that I can do that. But like this thing about like exercising at 90% for five hours and then doing it again tomorrow. That's what steroids do. Is he competing against fat people? Yes. There's a comedian named Bert who's in terrible shape.

That's helpful. See, this is what's interesting about this competition. I could be wrong about this, but my interpretation is that a fat, let's just say Chiz. Chiz is going to generate MEPs more easily than Taylor is. If we're both doing like 20 minutes of cardio, then if you and Chiz got on a treadmill going 10 miles per hour

for 20 minutes, his heart rate would be a much higher percentage above resting than yours would during that time. And so he would be generating more MEPs, right? So being out of shape, I think, is a bit of an advantage. Now, of course, being on the TRT like he is, is giving him some ability to recover. None of us are on any performance-enhancing drugs, though, so that won't be an issue so I suggest a stringent competition between us and since we're gonna go ahead and just steal their fucking idea I say we steal

the prize as well and there is a PKA championship belt alright hell yeah the championship belt has a centerpiece and then there's like four pieces on the side there could be you know like I don't know I want a vagina to represent me or or to represent you yeah to represent yeah absolutely and it's my

favorite thing that or food i couldn't decide so i'm thinking maybe just a taco maybe like a drumstick in a in a pussy yeah i'm thinking just a taco so that it's food and vagina all in one format you know we get a paramotor on on one thing i love this idea i was gonna propose it i came up I'm thinking just a taco so that it's food and vagina all in one format. We get a paramotor on one thing. I love this idea. I was going to propose it. I came up with it in parallel. I wanted to do it too.

I was going to mention it on PKN. Excellent. Excellent. Well, look. All we have to decide now is what the winner gets, what second place gets, third, and fourth. Now, being the loser is going to have to really fucking suck. It's in the doc, right? So there's a proposal on the awards. Did you read that?

It's on the screen right now. I did. I helped compose it. I'll read off a bit of this. So first place, and this is loose right now. This is just some stuff that Chiz, myself, and a few of the guys on our Discord sort of spitballed together. This is in no way in stone. We should discuss this now and see if we want to make changes.

First place gets the championship fully customized PKA belt. There's a link here for theundisputedbelt.com that shows what those belts look like. You can put four symbols on there. Chiz suggested a cake shake, a paramotor, an owl. I love that he's owning it. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, he's self-deprecating and pays for nothing. In fact, their sensor would be paid for

by the third and fourth place people in his proposal. Second place just gets a free sensor. Third place has to pay for second place's sensor as well as their own, of course. Fourth place pays for the cost of making the belt and first place's sensor.

And their own. Yeah. Oh, that would suck. It would really suck. Who's going to get fourth in this thing? Taylor, who do you think? You are. You think it's me?

You are. Nobody's going to outwork me. I'm at a severe disadvantage. Because you have a job. Because I have way less time than you guys to do this. I know. I can't just be like, you know, I'm going to take half an hour in the middle of the day. Get my heart rate up.

Like, I can't do that. Is that you backing out? Or is that you just saying that it's hard? No, that's just saying I have a severe disadvantage going into this. And what this looks like it's going to be is whoever does. Yeah, I'm also probably the, like, I work out the most. Like, cardio, not the fittest, I wouldn't guess. Like, I bet Kyle could outrun me.

But, like, this seems like a cardio competition. Like, I don't, if Kyle's doing all cardio, there's no fucking way I'm going to be able to catch him with weight lifting. So I'm going to have to start running, which I'm not going to do, which means I'm going to have to start lifting weights harder or something. Or just doing more push-ups. I don't know. Maybe I'll have to run. If I start falling way behind, I'll going to have to start lifting weights harder or something. Or just doing more push-ups. I don't know. Maybe I'll have to run. If I start falling way behind, I'll have to run. I'm going to be rocking the elliptical.

And I think that's the path of success for me. I live very close to a 24-hour gym. My sleeping schedule is insane. So I figure it'd be great to be able to go up there. See, I don't like people watching me work out. And I find this to be a commonality among everyone that I know. No one wants to be watched working out, and it's not necessarily about being judged

or being next to some giant guy who's fit. It's not, and I love it when people say, no one's looking at you when you're in the gym. Meanwhile, I'm looking at everyone judging them all the time when I'm at the gym. Right. Look at that. So true.

He said not him. I mean, he's trying. So good for him. But he should try harder. What did he start today? You know, everybody does that. Everybody I know does that. And so what do you guys think about this list of punishments and and rewards, et cetera?

Is this something you'd be comfortable with? The thing costs $150 and I paid $30 for rush shipping so I'd have mine tomorrow. It's not required necessarily. You'd probably get it within the next five days if you just ordered it regular. But that gets a bit expensive. I'm happy to do what we laid out there. But if anyone is not happy to do it, of course doesn't want to force that upon them. Chiz is, of course, on board with all of that because he was right there when the list was made,

and he created that Google Doc. Do I have to wear a special shirt every time I work out now? No, that's just him making another $70 off of you if you're silly. Okay, so what did you buy? I just bought the device. I think I have a link. Just the MZ3 MyZone.

Yeah. So I'm looking at this thing. I'm showing it to people. I highly suggest you buy it from their website, Woody, because Amazon was telling me it was going to be like 7 to 10 days or something, whereas for the same price, if I bought it direct from them, not with rush shipping, it was going to be like seven to ten days or something where whereas for the same price if i bought it direct from them um like for like not not with rush shipping it was going to be like less than five business days yeah i'm looking at this so is it 150 yes it's the the my zone mz3

physical activity belt yes it is 150 and like i said Chiz and I paid $30 for the Rush shipping. They're sold out of larges. $30 for Rush shipping seems like a lot. Well, you know, if you work hard, you won't even have to pay it. If you work hard, you don't have to pay it? Yeah, because you would get first or second place where someone buys it for you. Oh, you don't have to pay it? Yeah, because you would get first or second place

where someone buys it for you. Oh, I see. Wow, your $30 shipping is covered too? I feel like it should be, yes. I can't even overnight a large. They're all out. You don't need a large. Large is for turtle people.

Now, let me ask this. Is it okay to store up MIPS and drop them before due dates i think it just does it automatically and like ratchets up right let me explain this it's because i watch rogan's show too there is one guy i forget which they're concerned about him he hasn't been submitting his meps or mips so either he's not working out or he's stockpiling them and someday he's gonna sink and leapfrog everyone potentially i i kind of feel like i don't like that well well that's just not fun for viewership or or for like camaraderie we should like have like a weekly weekly update

like you know we do the show weekly so yeah and So every time we do a PK or a PKN. I don't like the idea of thinking I'm doing well and then I'll just pick a guy. Chiz all of a sudden has an astronomical amount of MIPS and takes first place because he's been sandbagging. I just don't like how extreme

the money aspect is because just on the outside looking in, I'm going to lose this because i have you are the youngest i have i have 20 jizz is younger than me and he's in much worse shape than me so he's gonna not have to work as hard to get the meps meanwhile i have the least amount of spare time by far that's the thing that's concerning me yeah jizz is fickle and he will get very sore and then he'll take a few pills to deal with the soreness and then he'll take a little nappy poo and he'll wake up the two days later and he hasn't got any mips historically jesus fitness is very good for a couple of days

that's been his pattern before like he will juice and you know go through torture but not for months not for a month right like a whole month or something that's that's usually not how chis operates he may this time but not usually yeah i don't know where yeah i mean oh how expensive are these belts 130 yeah oh oh i'm sorry i'm sorry the championship belt i've never bought anything like that before. Do you know how much those are? I'm finding out right now. Because I definitely don't want to spend $500 if I lose. Well, that's what it's going to take

because this belt is $180. Okay, so literally if you lose this competition, you're out $500. That is correct. I don't like that. I can see where you're coming from i'm i'm gonna have to bank a ton on chis just giving up i'm 45 halfway through it like like halfway through it because i i know if i do it i will not miss a workout all month i'll probably add a couple extra i know myself i will do that to be extra sure.

But if I get to half to two and a half weeks in and Chiz is still going strong, I'm going to be concerned. What we could do. He's going to rack him up so much faster because his heart isn't used to any kind of physical stress. Taylor's not a bad pick for first place. I don't know why you think that you're fighting off fifth. I don't think you're fourth place. He's got a fucking job. I got shit to do.

Yeah, but we all went on a fitness pick and he hulked out. Right? If I'm a viewer watching this, I'm not picking Taylor for last. I'm trying to figure out why I'm not last. Look, people out there, I'm your betting favorite. Right? Kyle's going to put in all the effort, all the time. I got the equipment. I already ordered

shoes. I ordered supplements. I ordered fancy socks. We'll see. I ordered some cool running shoes. They weigh an ounce. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get really into cocaine for a month. Just artificially pump that heart rate number. Oh! Way ahead of you.

You know how much Ady i got damn it yeah i'm just every waking moment of november i'm just pre-workouting into a cop i'm gonna be snorting espresso we're going into overtime mode here do you really see yourself as the favorite oh yeah absolutely 100 i've never seen you work out before actually i kind of just think of you as a guy who plays video games I do play video games See but here's the thing Kyle's gotten elliptical Like cardio is going to be the thing

That wins it in this My heart rate definitely gets up Lifting weights but it'll be very disappointing If I like finish a hard workout And it's like oh I earned six mips Mips whatever Little I know by watching joe's show your heart rate is based on the percentage that it can extend to so if you're

at like 80 then you get a lot of points if you're at 20 then you get fewer points i suspect when you lift there'll be some points there but it's just going to earn it a slower rate than, say, someone on an elliptical. That's true, because I mean, if I work out, it'll take 90 minutes, 100 minutes, depends, and you're running, you can't run that long. There's no fucking way you can run 90 minutes. There is, of course, a betting

pool that we're establishing to bet on us. I am, of course, your favorite. Kyle will be working hard to make all of you very happy. Woody's old man heart will fail and crumble into dust days into the competition. He'll get chafed by the belt. It'll be GG. Chiz is going to work hard.

And he may pull ahead to the lead in the early days. Perhaps even the first week. But he will fall to the back in the early days, perhaps even the first week, but he will fall to the back of the pack and crumble like the turtle-shaped man he is by the end of the competition. And poor Taylor! Well, he was never in it to begin with. The man has a job.

The man has a girlfriend who needs quite a bit of his time throughout the week. He has family that loves him. Yeah, that's gonna to hold him back. Ridiculous. Sorry, Mom and Dad. Can't talk in November.

I'm busy. I like this idea. I'll have all that time when I'm house hunting on the weekends to work out. Taylor has the least amount of time, but Taylor is by far the most proven workout enthusiast. time but taylor is by far the most proven workout enthusiast in the group too i see i want to know what uh chiz's plan is like it would help me kind of gauge where i think he's going to be if i knew his plan is he planning on picking up weights is he planning on going all

cardio like i can't imagine him going just cardio because he's too heavy at this point he wouldn't be able to stay going long enough. So he's going to have to do something to do with weights, right? Or resistance bands. I'm almost positive. I'm almost positive. She has,

has a rowing machine, a rowing machine. That's good. Yeah. That's going to exhaust him quick though, because like he doesn't work those like, and that's actually like, yeah,

that's a lot of different muscle groups, but it's also, you're going to be working the same muscle group. Life isn't fucking a house of cards where you go down there and you work out the exact same muscle groups for two hours a day every day. You're going to burn out fucking – you're going to wake up the second day and be like, oh! Oh, I didn't even know I had muscles there. So Taylor, what would you – because honestly, I thought I was just going to go outside and run. Go outside and run, see what skateboarding brings.

I think it won't work. I think I won't get high enough. But that's the kind of – I'm just going to go outside and run go outside run i see what skateboarding brings i think it won't work i think it won't get high enough um but that's the kind of thing i'm just gonna go outside and run i like now that it's getting cooler out i work out better when it's colder i'm not a good heat person and what i might do is uber to dangerous areas of the city it's like god taylor's getting a fuck ton of mips i love that joke but i do want to know what you would do i would probably run like in the city or something to augment it if i wasn't getting enough and then add like as of right now like i switch i usually do like eight different exercises five times or however many times for the set and then i repeat that entire list of eight five times

and so what i'll probably do is change that list of eight to like 10 or 11 things to get an extra like 45 minutes an hour on my workout because so you're gonna you're gonna bank on the notion that you'll get meps by lifting by the workout you do now i'm gonna give it a go and kind of gauge it for a couple days i think and, and then see where it goes. Okay. Yeah. And then if I'm way behind, I'm going to have to fucking run. Like there's no way around it.

I think, yeah. I'm pretty out of shape, so I think I can hit my heart rate without a lot of exertion. Oh, yeah. If I'm running, I'm going to hit my heart rate so fucking quick. I can hit my heart rate jogging. Get on my level, Taylor. Yeah, if I clap quickly, I can get up there. That's what I'm going to do.

I'm actually, you know, I've been doing hummingbirds, like leg lifts that are imperceivable to the human eye, like every time I do PKA. If I get MIPS or anything for like very minor like moving around like fast walking like any kind of fidgeting or moving or something i'm gonna i'm gonna win by far because i can't sit still for that i'm constantly bouncing my fucking legs under here like feeling like i'm gonna jump out of my socks i've got the same idea but i don't think i'm at 50 of my max heart rate oh yeah probably

oh is that what the bottom level is you have to be at 50 yeah yeah so um here i just had it in front of me the zones are the 50s 60s 70s and then between 80 and 100 is the same amount so you're kind of working harder than you need to if you're at 90 yeah it's probably a safety thing too you don't want to be right there that's what they theorized on the Rogan show. But yeah, so in the 50s, you get one per minute. In the 60s, you get two per minute, 70s, three, 80 and higher, four per minute. So even if you hit 50% of your max heart rate lifting, you might get, what would that be? For an hour, you'd get 60 mips whereas someone else uh could maybe run for 15

minutes and match you what i might i'm gonna buy a ddr pad and get really good advanced dance revolution oh that's what i'm gonna do i'll buy another monitor to have behind while we're doing pka and i'll just dance dance dance dance i uh i'm gonna do all of it in this outfit so i'm I uh I'm gonna do all of it in this outfit so I'm burning up I don't know Part of me is like I'm gonna start running I'll get good at it no I won't I've started running before 15 minutes

And I'm exhausted Yeah running fucking sucks And you know what If Okay number one just predictions Kyle's wildly overestimating his running capacity uh chis having very i don't know chis's workout background i don't think he has much he's probably doing the same thing you know everybody does when they get into a workout thing

we're like i'm gonna make myself do this i'm gonna make myself do that no off days no breaks and then you get five days in with just delayed onset muscle soreness and you're like, alright, just one break. Just one break. I think you'll take a break. Muscle soreness? What kind of amateur are you? You're not taking your ice baths? No. No. It's not going to stop it.

I think I'm the only one here who's done an ice bath. Take a candy from babies. You're not taking an ice bath. Have you done a real ice bath? a candy from babies you're not taking yeah yeah have you done a real ice bath like neck deep yeah yes of course i have i've done body parts like you know knee deep but yeah that i would prefer that because like nothing gets your heart you know what just if you want to boost your heart rate hit sitting in ice bath this is another thing i'm worried about

with this uh with this game with the four of us is that i don't believe for a fucking second that each and every one of us aren't going to be trying cheaty little things to get our heart rate up artificially where we'll be like all right just a little bit of cayenne oh i'm scared to death Kyle's going to strap that fucking thing on Dax and let him free. That's your workout? You just let Dax out and you're like, oh, I can't stop. No, put the thing on Dax. You put it around the dog.

Stick a taser on his ass and send him running. Yeah, I've got great dates. They're only good for three minutes or so. Yeah, no putting it on your dog no putting it on your friends because i have enough friends i have a friend who's literally a personal trainer that if i asked him was like hey buddy uh an ex-marine if i was like will you just wear this you know for your sessions like he he would i would never do that yeah and actually he probably would it'd be like you have a heart issue do you have something under your fucking shirt you sure

you should be training me but yeah This could be fun and motivating. I like how it's more multifaceted than just weight loss comparisons, which is good because that would totally be unfair to Chiz because starting that high, you're obviously going to shave off way more in just net pounds. I think you said it backwards.

Did you mean unfair to Chiz or unfair to us? Unfair to us. Too fair to Chiz or unfair to us? Unfair to us. Unfair to us, yeah, yeah, yeah. Too fair to Chiz. Okay. Because he'd lose 30 pounds in the time Kyle could lose probably six. Wait, are you in a skinny version right now of Kyle? Are you in a middle version? What's your weight? Middle version. I'm at about 195. Okay. Where do you feel fit? What's your fit weight? 175, right? Or like 80?

About 180, 182. Okay. So you're about 13, 15 pounds higher than you want to be. I don't know. When's the last time you ran? Last month. How far did you go? I ran a mile.

Okay. That's... That really doesn't even count. Yeah. One mile. Taylor, how far could you run if you had to run right now oh i could run a few miles yeah i don't think i think i could run a mile i i could run i could jog i mean without stopping i could jog at the speed of a brisk walk you know maybe longer than a mile right maybe even like two or three like i could do that like you know it looks like he's jogging but that guy's barely going anywhere thing for a while a lot of hands fooling

yeah i didn't but if there's any kind of link to my stride i'm sorry kyle then i think a mile i'm not that fit yeah i i did like a seven minute and 40 second mile or something like i didn't sprint or anything like that's a pretty slow mile yeah I don't think I could do that. That is a pretty slow mile. Really? 740? It was a jogging mile though. It's not like you were trying for time or something. Yeah, I'm just jogging. 740 is not the mile you get if you do that

thing that looks like jogging but at the speed of walking. It's faster than that. Yeah, I think the fastest mile I ever ran was like sophomore year in high school. I think I ran a 630. And even that wasn't that good like we had a runner who ran one in like 508 or something insane yeah i mine was 645 that was my best mile i hated running i had to run a 607 well i had to run a 630 and i wasn't that good at pacing myself i ran a 607 because the guy next to me did but uh not today overnight this tonight i think i'm gonna wait till tomorrow and then overnight it and see if

they get a large size back that would be ideal you don't need a large i think large is like for real big fat people are we doing a month of november is that the goal um well we'll see we'll see when we get them you November makes sense, but if we all have them the day after tomorrow, then we could start then, or the day after the day after tomorrow. Whenever we all have them, I think we should start. Okay, I'm down. Alright.

Yeah, I... I'm going to predict the rankings. I think... I'm curious where you'll land on this. I think Kyle's going to be one. Huh. Because Kyle is starting from a position of, I will not lose,

similar to where I think Chiz is starting. But Kyle has the physique to pull that off more easily. I think Kyle's going to deal with less soreness than she is. Number two, it really depends on how many mips you get for working out because if you get a decent amount, I think I'm going to be number two. Like if you get a decent amount.

If it's all cardio and you don't get much from weightlifting, I bet Chiz is number two. If cardio is heavily favored over weightlifting, I'm going to get last. What you could do, Taylor, like if you go light on your weights, and there's more movement than that, you know, if you choose like, if you did like 10 pound weights, but you just tripled the length of your workout, then that would be extraordinary, I think for this, like if you were doing like doing like that exercise where you've got like a weight in the front and you like squat down and then stand up and then push the weights above your head or something like that, I feel like that's like if you're doing 30 minutes of those,

that's an extreme workout. I think your heart rate is going to be pounding like three minutes in. Yeah, I mean, I do like supersets, which get my heart pounding. So I'll do like chest press and then directly from that get off the bench and do farmer's walks with them. Yeah, doing a circuit. Until failure. And then do dips. And, like, I do it pretty high intensity when I do it.

And my heart's pounding. So, yeah, I just don't want to get last. I just don't want to be out of my third place. I lift with Colin, and he moves so slow that we completely rest between sets. We completely rest not just between exercises, but between sets I get too much rest. And I have to fuss at him to keep it snappy. My lifting will not get my heart rate up. I'm looking at this thing like, look, I have proven again and again that I sometimes tap into a work ethic that could win this thing.

If I set my mind to it, I could be that guy. But that is exactly the person that Taylor describes as losing this. And I don't know that I'm invulnerable to that. I could get last. I'm invulnerable to that. I could get last. I'm telling you, it all comes down to cardio versus weightlifting. I worry heavy about cheating. I worry heavy about cheating. People are going to find a way.

I was thinking about that. But how, realistically, like, how could you cheat at this? Like, is it? The Dax thing would work? Does it only? I think. No. I don't think a dog thing would work because you'd be like, huh, well, that's not how fast

humans are. It's going to slip off the dog's chest onto, first of all, Dak. His name's Dak. I'm sorry. I don't give a shit. But Dak would not let me near him. Okay? Like, I can't. That gets his heart rate up. He can just dance by the cage.

Like, that's not a joke. Like, that dog will attack me and shred me up to hospitalize me if I tried this. Second of all, if you put it on his chest, it would just slip down to his groin area and they'd kick himself out of it. Third of all, even if he was my friendly dog and it fit him, I don't take that dog for runs or walks. That dog does his own thing. That's Kitty's dog.

She plays with that dog. It's funny that you clearly thought about cheating with Dad. No, I just thought about it right now. I know it doesn't fit him. I already tried. I mean, I have no interest in cheating, but if you were going to cheat, I think you would want a ringer like Taylor suggested.

That's how you would cheat, is you'd get a ringer. Yeah, you'd get some ringer and that's how you would cheat. I do not have any ringers in my life. The friend I hung out with the most just moved away on van life so he's not gonna help he drove away honor system what did i say he did he moved away he did drive away i'm moving where man we'll see dude he sends me pictures of like places he's in it's kind of neat but um uh yeah so i i'm gonna have to just earn all my stuff normally yeah i have no interest in cheating

i i definitely honor system fucking what's that scout what scouts is scouts on our three fingers or two fingers is she a is she a what kind of gal is a scout scouts honor i want to say it's three but i'm not it's been a while. Scout's honor. Are you sure it's not like a whole hand extended to the sky? I was going there too. I didn't want to do it though. I was like, that'll be a new meme.

Here's me with the fucking Kyle hanging in the background making a Hitler sign. I'm not doing it. Originally, I had a much more offensive costume. I was considering being a woman and getting full ladies makeup, getting a clean shave, getting

a pretty girl wig, nice dress, and some fake boobs. And I was going to come as Hope's new roommate. Hi! What's your problem, Woody? You don't support trans rights. Well, that's just silly. She has a private room.

Here at UNC, we're very accepting. I'm so fucking itchy. Dude, I'm kind of excited for the rest of the changes this makes. I'd love to drop weight. I've gained a few pounds back, and I don't love that. I'd like to do more. I'd like to wake up and start exercising as a way to kick off my day, right? I'd like to have my, I remember I was, this is a show a couple weeks ago.

I'm like, man, I've been going all day, you know, right since it started at 11. You know, I'd like to start my day at seven or something, right? Like with, that's about sunup right now. And, you know you know go out get some cardio in come back have some coffee and breakfast like that'd be a nice way i'm excited for the whole lifestyle change around this i hope i do well too i asked i just asked chis a few minutes ago you know what you know because we were discussing what chis's plans were he said i says chis what is your workout plan i I'm not sharing that, lol. It's a competition.

Well, my secret of getting up and working out is out now. I have a specific workout in mind. His knowledge is so vast that he couldn't possibly... He's like, well, I'm going to do... Keep it on the DL, but it's called a jumping jack

and it's funny because it's all new to chiz he's just like i've been doing this new thing it's called it's called yogging i believe yogging yogging it's a french thing you know but he gets gets too into little kid things. It's called the... You get a bunch of third graders with a parachute. Lift it up. What else? What could he possibly think

is such a good thing? It's just going to be cardio. I have one that I honestly don't want to share as well. It's nothing new, but to me it's like, yeah, that's the thing. That's the thing right there. In the spirit of fairness, come on, let's talk about what our tactics are going to be. I think it's a heavy bag.

I think it's working the heavy bag. I really do. Because I've done that in the past, and the goal is to mirror what a fucking professional athlete would do and do five-minute rounds. I don't know if you've ever tried to do a five minute round, five minute round on a heavy bag with 16 ounce gloves and just do one, two, one,

two, one, two, one, two, three. Oh my fucking God. Dude,

do not post video of yourself hitting a heavy bag because everyone that watches has like Floyd Mayweather as their point of reference. And we'll be like, Kyle's really not very good. Yeah. Look how uncoordinated he is. Look at his feet. They're not moving right.

I've seen. This is just to get my heart right. I don't care about any sort of form. It's almost like he wasn't golden gloves for his entire life. Having bad form is going to make it more strenuous so you want to have bad form like you don't want to be efficient in your punches you want to be big wide heavy you know slow i was thinking i could do you know what i might do that would be fun i don't know how well it would work but uh pick up ice hockey i would enjoy unlike tay, if it's at noon, I don't give a fuck.

I could just go. If they have pickup ice hockey at like 1pm, because up north they used to have that a lot. Like men's leagues, yeah. No, men's leagues tend to happen stupid late, like 2am and stuff. But pickup, like stick and puck or even pickup hockey where they actually play the games, that'd be fun to do.

I would like that. I might add that. That would get my heart going. And I find it much easier to play than to work, like if that makes sense, work out versus play. And I could do that. That's a strategy for me. I'm going to wear it 100% of the time that I'm fucking over the last month or the next month too. That's a good idea. Well, we're going to learn a lot about you.

See, I don't think it's gonna... It's like you had a really strenuous two-minute workout at 10 a.m. Your heart rate went from 60 to 120, and then you went to sleep real quick. And then right to sleep. Looks like, what was that, a night terror yeah yeah another ace in the bag

someone who has night terrors oh oh thank god uh just a few more mips yeah this is gonna be fun i need to think of more creative ways to get my heart up i love that shiz is keeping it secret yeah like like it's some... I do think you can't stockpile these things, though. That would really ruin it for me. I want to know where I stand on this kind of fairly. Well, we should have to re-up it every week then. Or even...

I think it's syncing. You sync it with your computer. So I don't care if you get behind by a day or two, but I don't think you should be able to sit on them. That would just be no good. Well, yeah, we'll have updates during PKN and PKA. That makes sense because that's every two to three days, respectively. One thing that Chiz is suggesting now,

because I'm conversating with him as one would say. Because that's a word. It actually is, we found out. I looked and it's informal. Oh, well, so quasi-word. He was like, well, what are the rules? Because they're starting the betting now. What are the rules?

And I was like, oh, you know, the ones on the Google Doc. And he's like, well, that's lame. That was just an outline. And I was thinking, like like one of the things that we've got right now right is that fourth place pays for like second place's belt and the champ and the championship belt so they're the ones who are coming out with like 500 total including their own belt what we could do is split the cost of the championship belt between third and fourth place to lighten the burden on fourth place a bit but add

a further punishment to fourth place that is either a embarrassing or be painful one challenge that is third and fourth become the same oh no no okay i see where monetarily they're the same and and fourth isn't quite so extreme on the monetary end. Now, third and fourth have to come out of pocket for like $170,500 plus the belt is $230,000 each plus their own belt, roughly. But maybe you do that so that monetarily, third and fourth are identical, but there's a terrible thing that fourth place has to do.

Like, just off the top of my head, like, if I was fourth, I'd wear a Hillary Clinton shirt, wear a Hillary Clinton hat. Just off the top of my head. If Woody was fourth, trumping it up. Or maybe you eat one of those horrible ghost peppers on the show. Or you get pepper sprayed, or tased,

or something like that. And it's just off the top of my head. It's you get pepper sprayed or tased or something like that. And it's off the top of my head. It's a terrible idea to get tased. I don't want to get tased. I mean, that is the idea. I don't like the ghost pepper or anything too spicy on the show because then it's like, all right, man, they're out of commission for the next hour.

I don't like this shirt idea because I feel like it's not hard enough. I'll wear a Trump hat. I don't give this shirt idea because I feel like it's not hard enough. I'll wear a Trump hat. I don't give a darn. That doesn't hurt me too much. I don't think it'll hurt you guys much either. I would dislike it very much to wear a Hillary shirt. I would sincerely

dislike it if I had to buy and wear a really nice Chicago Blackhawks hat and shirt for a show. I wouldn't like that. How about this? We might have custom punishments. Custom punishments? Oh, that's good. We would decide what the fourth place person

has to do based on their likes and dislikes. I would not like an I'm with her shirt. I would really hate a MAGA hat. That would crush me. I don't want to have to eat a lot of cauliflower on the show. I don't care for cauliflower, and that would be a custom punishment for me,

especially if it's raw. There's nothing nastier than raw cauliflower. Woody would have to drink a pint of alcohol on the show. How much is a pint? Can I do that? Yeah. Oh, yeah. You've had more than a pint on the show.

Yeah, but you'd have to drink it at once. No. Just have him be dead 20 minutes later, just vomiting. Yeah. It'd have to be a custom thing. We'll have to think about the punishment. I don't know. Let me.

I'd like and dislike the Chicago one. That's a good custom one for me. I'm trying to think of stuff I would not like to eat that also wouldn't interfere with the show. Let me do an ad here. Let me think of some things. Bad breath is a gross, embarrassing problem that impacts everyone at some point in their lives.

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You're going to be set for a year with that. That's really cool. Yeah. I believe Taylor's going to be sent some pretty soon. He's getting a, I don't know if he's getting the 84 man party pack or not. I hope so. It's gigantic. It comes in a pizza box.

He's definitely getting... I'm going to have to start drinking more. Well, you're an excuse to start drinking again. But we'll get some first-town evidence from Taylor after a hard night of drinking. Yep. I'll need that for November to make sure if I

wake up and I'm like,'m like i'm not feeling really a workout take a drink of that have that superhero formula rinsing through my body fixing me and i'll be pumping iron before you know it or maybe even getting an uber to east stl and jogging back sky's the limit so in closing on the uh on the competition uh since it hasn't started yet and there's still a bit of time for you guys to give input i would love for you guys to give us input about what these punishments and perhaps rewards could or should be. Maybe you guys are a little more creative than we are. You know what we like and dislike if you've been listening for 400 some odd episodes. I really don't want to drink a pint of alcohol. I feel like that's so much.

I know, I know. But it's been on my head. And I get that not liking it makes it good. But you guys are literally putting on a shirt you don't like. And meanwhile, I'm vomiting all night long in the toilet. What if you had to wear blackface? That seems

so much worse. Actually, I'll drink the alcohol. Everyone else is just wearing a shirt they don't like this is so unfair I'll wear a pink shirt it's not my color no we all have to wear blackface for the duration of the competition

and the winner is the only one who gets to take it off you know that could be a thing too maybe there's minor punishments for, like, let's say we do the first week's check-in, you're in fourth place, what do we do to you? Just saying. That's just an idea to throw out there. So, yeah, give us your input, put it in the comments down below. Loser shaves one eyebrow.

And look in the comments. If you see an idea that you like, give it a thumbs up. If you don't like it, you think it's fucking stupid, then give it a thumbs down. If you don't like it, you think it's fucking stupid, then give it a thumbs down. And, you know, we'll use that as a bit of a rating system on here, over on YouTube. We'll figure out what works, what doesn't, and maybe we'll add your idea. And if you do,

guess what? You're getting a special prize. A thank you. A thank you that you just received. From Jesus Christ himself. That was it. You just got it. That's a preemptive thank you from your Lord and Savior. All right? Lamb of God here, just letting you know that I appreciate what you've done.

Thank you. I felt that. Yep. I felt that. Kyle, did you pay $30 for shipping so that you could start collecting MEPs earlier? Is that what happened? No. I just don't understand.

It's like delivery in one to three days is six dollars but overnight is 30 i wanted to ensure that i got the thing i'm certainly not going to like save up extra mips this thing had this thing is all digital you're gonna be able to see when the mips are occurring right like there's no cheating here there's no way to like fool a digital online i'm so skeptical yeah well but yeah chis and i both ordered the thing and we made we ordered it overnight to ensure that we got it on time and that we could start the thing at the very least by uh the the first of november did you ever give your uh your ranking prediction kyle did i miss that um i think i will be first um i think that either wo... I think Woody could be second if Chiz doesn't have the resolve

or the stamina. Like, if he just gets really sore or if his back acts up. Because, as we know, Chiz has some serious back issues. Like, he could have an actual medical disqualification, which will not allow him to escape any financial ramifications.

Turtle man. So, if that happens, then Chiz could easily fall to third or even fourth place but if that doesn't happen i like chis's chances because of a free time and b um i feel like getting him to like 90 of his resting heart or 90 of his max heart rate which is which is going to be determined by the device like it finds your max heart rate and alerts you every time you reach a new max heart rate. Very cool feature. Not a sponsor, by the way, at all. I think that he could really do well. Otherwise, I feel like Woody, who is going to work real hard and try at this a lot, plus he's got free time, he's got workout equipment, he's got a lot of free space to run. I feel like he could, he could be a strong contender. So I'm not sure you, however,

Taylor also very competitive person and you, and, and here's the, here's, I'm not an expert on how this, these scales work. So I would imagine that you have excellent cardio right now, at least better than most of us. So I think that you're going to be capable of getting yourself to 70% your max heart rate and maintaining it for a longer period of time than any of us. So we'll have to outwork you. We'll have to outwork you. We'll have to do more workouts than you because our work, we won't be able to maintain 70% of max heart rate for as long as you can for a given time. So it's really hard to say, but if I had to guess, I would say myself,

Chiz. Fuck, it's hard. It's hard because of all the things I just said. Yeah, I am equally struggling, right? It's hard. I could put Taylor in first or fourth, right. I have no idea, but both of them seem reasonable to me. Because he gets the least amount of time, but heck, we've done sort of fitness-based things before, and he's winning. I think Chiz is my fourth.

Chiz is my fourth, I think. I think there's going to be something that trips him up. Maybe the back. Maybe just his enthusiasm wanes. He's my fourth. That's the one thing that's given me some confidence is that I can tell you right now I will not miss a workout. I will not skip a single thing. I'm not saying that like, oh, yeah, I'm going to go fucking hard.

It's like, no, I won't miss one. I can promise you that. But I don't know the same for Chiz. That's what I'm not sure. He will. It's a matter of when, not if. He will have to skip a couple workouts because his body's just not used to it.

Like, he's going to have to. I don't know why, but I'm going to say, I don't have a good reason, I'm going to say it's Taylor, Woody, Kyle, Chiz. But I could shuffle them and come up with just as good an answer imagine how like cushy this is gonna be for the three of us if like october 3rd chis is like texting us like ah my back it's like have we started yet it's like all right well i i'm just gonna keep working out the way I have because I'm not going to be out 500 yet yeah

hopefully nobody gets hurt you could shuffle it up anyway I don't know why though I think Chiz can't win I bet Chiz is listening to this thinking that I am underestimating some game strategy that he's got working I don't know how you could get lice from a costume store

wig that you just purchased and unwrapped, but I think I'm getting it because this is the least comfortable thing I've ever worn in my life. I'm so tempted. You know, I'm not normally cheap, and I'm hoping not to even pay for this myself, but it's $1.30 with free shipping on Amazon, and it's $1.50 with $6 shipping on the other, and I buy everything from them. What was the warning about Amazon, that it takes longer? Yes. It's $1.50 with $6 shipping on the other, and I buy everything from them. What was the warning about Amazon? That it takes longer? Yes. It's not Prime. Yeah, when I ordered it,

it was saying like five to ten business days or something like that, and it could ruin the whole competition. Well, I'll open it. Well, I'm not going to ruin the whole competition. I'll just... One to three business days, that's definitely by November 1st, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. one to three business days that's definitely by november 1st right yeah uh yeah yeah november 1st is a week from today so next thursday that actually works pretty well yeah yeah i need to i'm gonna have to like start waking up early and working out because usually like thursdays today is an off day for me i I'm going to have to work out Thursdays too now. I can't wait to be putting on the PKA championship belt around this waist. Are you going to try and pump up some muscles in the competition too, Kyle? No. You're not going to try and get a little tone? Speed.

Just speed. I'm going to be slippery. You're going to be running across water by the time you're done. Oh, I'll be walking across water. Wearing my PKA championship intercontinental belt. Intercontinental. Global.

Spiritual. Universal. I'll be the universal PKA champion. Oh, yeah. I wish this mustache would stay where it's supposed to go It hasn't stayed For more than one second all night It's right in front of your mouth I just bought my belt and pre-registered it

So it should come programmed I guess That's excellent I'm excited about this I'm hoping it fixes my life It's so ruined I'm hoping I this I'm hoping it fixes Not fixes my life Like it's so ruined I'm hoping it fixes Yeah I'm hoping

I can finally find joy But no Like if my sleep schedule Got better Which has been actually Improving lately And I don't know If I just woke up

Worked out Put an hour in And I don't know Did well in this I would feel really good About myself We'll see how this goes No matter what

There will be no losers In this competition because everybody is going to be doing more than they would normally do. And that's the real takeaway. That's too wholesome for me. Someone will be losing in this. You'll be able to tell who's losing like two

weeks in where we're like, well, at the end of the day, guys, it's just important that we're getting more fit, helping our lives, really making sure. I can only be myself. Everyone else was taken. You know, it just... You know, guys, we're having fun and games here, but the important thing is we made a change in our lives.

Like something really gay. A really small one for one of us. Oh, man. We'll see. I'm very excited about this. I... I want to know how much weight Chiz loses. I don't think he's going to divulge that to us, but I want to know. He'll tell us. Yeah.

He might not want it shared, but I would be interested. I want to know how much I lose. We'll see. I feel like resistance exercise is the best way to lose body fat. That's not what this is, but we'll see. That's not what this is, but we'll see. That's not what this is, but that's a thing too. Yeah, I intend to do both. Speaking of being overweight, here's a really nasty story from some cunt,

I think in New Zealand, who was getting married, and she was jealous of how fit and pretty her sisters were. And so she, like, made her wedding to make them look bad in it so she would look good by comparison, and even went so far as to, like, in the couple months leading up to it, convinced her sisters, like, yeah, we're doing, like, a weight loss shake every morning. And she was sabotaging her own sisters,

pouring, like, weight gainer shakes into their shakes and like they gained enough weight that they had to like get their dresses taken out and this this whore this absolute bitch is like even saying like uh like what are a couple of her actual quotes i went so far as buying a weight loss shake and emptying the contents. She talks about how she loved the day. She looks back on it and is happy with how she looks better. And now, when I look back at my wedding photos, as I often do as they're displayed around the house, sometimes I feel a twinge of guilt

that I'm standing there glowing and gorgeous in my bridal gown and my sisters are looking washed out and chubby. Yeah, she literally picked bridesmaids' dresses that were colored yellow. Because she's like, oh, yellow will make them look bad. Like, they'll all look bad in yellow. That'll make me pop and white. Like, if I read this article and learned this about my now wife, like, that would be it. It'd be like, you are a duplicitous cunt.

Did you know that? My God. Everything you're saying is true. But it's a little funny, right? Oh, it's funny. you are a duplicitous cunt did you know that my god everything you're saying is true but it's a little funny right like like oh it's funny it's a little funny she's she swapped out their stuff with weight gator put them in yellow and and hung the pictures around the house well it was always known that i was the alcoholic daughter and so i dosed them with fentanyl for a month and now they start shaking after 20 minutes so who's the good daughter now you know now my problem's not so bad both of my sisters are

gorgeous i mean stunning i always felt like jan brady in the middle i wasn't as hot and popular as my older sister i wasn't as cute and fun as my younger sister but i found a man who loved me for me and i couldn't be happier so yeah i don't know i couldn't be happier unless i sabotaged my sisters to make it even more about me i didn't want to be reminded that on my until my last day on earth that i was the plain sister uh the day went off without a hitch and everyone had a great time i never thought for a moment on my wedding day that i wasn't the center of attention or the most important person in the room and now when i look back on my wedding photos oh yeah that's what you said i feel i feel happy but then looking chubby this is a sociopath real petty bitch although it is kind of funny it's not

like she poisoned her sister she just you know them a little chubby. I assume her sister bounced right back to the... But people have like... My theory is people have a natural weight that they kind of gravitate toward. Whether that be because they have a diet they gravitate toward or genetic or whatever. They just... Their sisters when she stops slipping weight gainer

into them... We'll go right back to who they were. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but I mean, i would not like my sister anymore if that were the case it'd be like really wow you're a bitch it's like when i get married i know you're allergic to artichoke and so i'm gonna sneak you one of those before so you'll be all puffy and unable to breathe laying there all purple and hideous while i'm getting married like like king joffrey i couldn't be any happier. I stood there with my fun sister and my dead one.

You know, just laying there suffocating. Ah, what a whore. Yeah, but a funny one. It is definitely funny. So Sarah Silverman says that Louis C.K. masturbated in front of her. Have you seen that article?

I did. I didn't read it, but I saw the headline. Is that what it was? Pretty much. She made it really, really clear that she was consenting. And she described herself as his peer. Some might disagree, but just the same. She didn't see herself as someone who had a power imbalance with Louis C.K. and had to say yes. She's not casting him as a criminal at all.

But she is like, yeah. Yes. He'd be like, hey, can I masturbate in front of you? And she's like, sometimes. I was like, yeah. That'd be funny. And other times I was like, fuck no. Let's do something else.

And I guess. How long ago was this? Was this when he was doing it with the other women in like 2002 or something? Or more recent? I'm scanning. I didn't catch a. Because they've both been successful for a long sarah silverman's been more famous than him for longer yeah you might argue and i'm going off my foggy memory that like come 2005 or so she could have been even bigger right was she like dating i think she had a show

at the time yeah jimmy kimmel yeah yeah yeah so um uh anyway, she didn't feel like it. I just thought it was fun that she liked to watch Louis C.K. jerk off sometimes. It was her sister. Whose sister? Sarah Silverman's sister. When she was 18, she dated Louis C.K. And after they broke up, they went on this road trip cross country. And I guess they shared a hotel room.

And he let her know that, like, hey, every morning I'm going to be masturbating. You can go out in the hall if you want. But it's happening. No matter what. And so the other day when that hashtag was going around after Sarah Silverman was on, I think maybe the Stern show, but maybe not. You know, she tweeted out with that hashtag and talked about that experience. Well, the way that you said it, you implied that it wasn't Sarah Silverman, but it definitely was. I've got the article in front of me.

It's Sarah Silverman's sister. Sarah Silverman revealed on Monday that comedian Louis C.K. used to masturbate in front of her with her consent. I don't know. That's a little ambiguous. No. I believe they did that with Sarah Silverman, but the incident that I'm describing where they dated when they were 18 and they went

on this road trip together. That's her sister. He masturbated in front of a lot of ladies. By happenstance, he did it in front of two lot of ladies so that the by happenstance he met he did it in front of two sisters i mean probably more than just two sisters right they hopefully twins at one point i mean ask your wife has she ever seen louis ck masturbate i will circle back with her odds are i mean is she a woman yep does she live in the united states yep well 50 50 at this point that's that's what I'm getting.

But yeah, anyway, I don't know. That's the whole story. She said that he used to jerk off in front of her, and she thought it was funny. I'd never been to this Reddit you linked earlier, Kyle, called I'm a total piece of shit. But some of these are pretty funny. Yeah, I like that one. They really are pieces of shit. They really are pieces of shit.

They really are pieces of shit. It's like people, like moms who pierce their kids' ears, things like that. Which is, where do you fall on that? I'm okay with it if it's a girl. I think that's a pretty common thing, you know. So I got no issue with that. It was from one of the stories he linked earlier in our chat, but here's just the Reddit link. I'm okay with...

I don't know. Most girls have pierced ears. Now, if they go crazy with it and get all up the lobe... Like up in the cartilage and stuff? Yeah, maybe that's a little excessive, but a regular ear piercing? I got no issue with that. Of course, as we all know, I'm okay with any sort of child mutilation at a young age. Well, that makes sense.

Alright, I've got another horrific story that's halloween themed not really but it's close to halloween so i'll just uh the kids are wearing costumes we'll pretend that uh so these two girls were standing in a bathroom and were foiled and apparently they were planning on stabbing and killing the girls who came in to use the bathroom and then cutting their bodies up with a pizza cutter and disposing of them. And thankfully, an adult walked in and were like, hey, why are you standing in here with knives? And they shut it down. But that was a real thing. Apparently, they were going to sacrifice the blood to the devil.

The first half of this plan, I can kind of see working, right? a real thing. Apparently they were going to sacrifice the blood to the devil. The first half of this plan I can kind of see working, right? You got numbers. Girls come into the bathroom unsuspecting. You stab them. They die. Cutting them up with the pizza cutter just seems like the wrong tool for the job. If I've learned nothing recently, it's that you need a bone saw. Oh, yeah.

You need a bone saw oh yeah you need a bone so i'm like if you give me a pizza cutter and a dead body i'm not going to be able to cut through a body with a pizza cutter it's just not going to happen an 11 and 12 year old girl they couldn't even cut a pizza with a pizza that's about true yeah there's no fucking way this is going to work it literally says here according to the officials the 11 and 12 year old girls said that they were satan worshippers and were going to drink the blood and eat the flesh of the students they killed, and then the girls planned on killing themselves.

Cool. Yeah, I don't think this plan was going to work at all. Maybe the murder. I really doubt there's suicide in the pizza cutter thing. It's just bullshit. Yeah, here's the plot. The 11 year old spent the weekend at the 12 year old's home, and on a Sunday Sunday after a day of watching horror films,

they devised a plot to kill several students at the middle school. The girls decided they would attend the first period classes, meet in the bathroom, where they would then wait for smaller students and overpower them, according to the police report. They did not want to attack larger students, the report says. Using knives tucked under their clothes, the plan was to stab their victims and cut their throats. The preteens conducted

internet searches on how to kill someone with a knife and what type of wound would cause the victims to bleed out the fastest. Upon killing each victim, the report says they intended to stack him or her in a bathroom stall and wait for the next small student to enter the bathroom. After the students were dead, they would cut them up and eat parts of the dead flesh.

The girls aimed to kill between 15 and 25 students. And they didn't even get one. Yeah. Okay, Becky. Says we want to cut into eight slices, okay? They read up on how to use a pizza cutter. Roll vertically.

Don't let it slant. Yeah, this is aant they should probably be taken away for a long time probably maybe even forever at 11? they'll be totally different people by 13 how old were those slender slender man girls that literally sacrificed a girl to slender man

that barely survived you remember those two girls who were like 12 and 13 or something that took that other girl out in the woods and stabbed her a bunch of times to sacrifice her to Slenderman? Shit, no. They were both 12, it appears. The Slenderman stabbing. Three of them, 12 years old. Well, again, they'll be different people by 14.

Well, again, there'll be different people by 14. On May 31st, 2014 in Wisconsin, 12-year-olds Anissa Weiger and Morgan Geiser lured their friend Peyton Leutner into the woods and stabbed her 19 times in an attempt to impress the fictional character Slenderman. Leutner crawled to a road where she was found. She recovered after six days in the hospital. Weier and Geiser were found not guilty by reason of insanity

and in Februarybruary 2018 convicted and sentenced to long periods in mental health institutions i wonder how that really goes down like does anyone know if you're not guilty by insanity like i don't think you just get to stay at a resort i think you go someplace that sucks and then if you become sane do you become guilty also like no no probably happens like how quickly you become sane if like day six i saw that you do in a movie once so that's a thing no that you know once you're saying you're you're good to go you're healed right you were sick not uh not criminal i mean this is pretty criminal and also thank god they're so terrible at stabbing stab someone 19 times and they recover after six days what were they stabbing him with like a

like a butter knife like a butcher's knife a butcher's knife well then those are not very deep stabs oh they're they're little girls you know yeah but they're stabbing a little girl that equalizes oh yeah that's a good point it's a good point it's not like they're stabbing a little girl. That equalizes. Oh, yeah, that's a good point. It's not like they're stabbing me or you or Woody. Yeah, I could take a stab. This girl could take a stabbing. I'd sacrifice both of them to Slenderman. This girl could take 19 stabbings.

I'm impressed. That's nothing. I could take 40 stabbings. 40? Thank you. Stabbing competition. How many mips for stabbing. Thank you for the stabbing competition. How many mints for stabbing? I'm surprised the most stabbing wins. Loser dies.

At the end of the month, Kyle's taking the lead by a ton. He's like, actually, the secret was about, you notice when I leapt off about two weeks in, I actually started cutting. You're pulling out these gashes all around your arm. That would not be worth the $ probably not to develop a mental illness like that um it's hard to find out how

not guilty by reason of insanity works it's super rare to be like act to actually get off on insanity but it to be fair there's nothing more insane than stabbing another little girl to death so you can sacrifice her to Slenderman. That is insane. Yeah, I believe that they were insane. That, by definition,

is pretty fucking crazy. What would your spiritual or lordly godly rather punishment be for these gals well spare the rod spoil the child

I think dad said that that was my mother not even in the bible my father told your mother that and she knows how to follow instructions. She went a little out there. I think she also read that part about beating your slave half to death and it's a-okay. But she also read the passage about never using a stiletto shoe and an ice pick at the same time. Listen, I thought the Romans were hard on me. But I was looking in on you from time to time, and whew! I mean, the Romans didn't really give a shit one way or the other about you. They gave me that cat some nine tails pretty severely, I'm going to tell you right now. I don't know if you've ever been whipped into your back. It's nothing but a bloody mess.

Well, I mean, Woody has. But I don't know if you have, Taylor. But it is painful. Oh, I flagellate myself all the time. Of course you do. I'm a monk. Praise you. Right here.

Hey, what if I kiss way lower on the cross nice nice that part of this cross is a little salty a little bleachy yeah oh man thank you my son i wonder who the guy was who was like yeah and if you want to if you want to join our order you have to wear these clothes you know it was a dude who had a really dope place on a mountain who like everybody else had left the monastery and he like had a really cool thing and they like showed up like I want to serve the lord as a monk and he had to be like

yeah well you gotta wear these awful clothes okay I'll do it ah shit you gotta cut your hair clothes. Okay, I'll do it. Ah, shit. You gotta cut your hair. Give me a minute. Okay. Okay, you gotta do this.

This is a new rule. I just got this from God. And they're like already getting razors out. Like, okay. And he's like, fuck, shit. You gotta, okay. You gotta get up and pray in the exact same spot. So 60 years from now, a kid on a trip in a college exchange program

can come and take a photo of where your feet have carved out a little bit in the wood from how much you've prayed over the decades yeah of course i'll do that like that's that's the real history that they're not telling you about christianity is it was a bunch of cool cats trying to keep monasteries fun and then a bunch of losers showed up and took it seriously and you can confirm this christ that's exactly what happened um see the reason we cut it like this is because we imagine where the crown of thorns is and we remove the hair within i like to imagine that it was one monk with male pattern baldness and he was like you all have to look like me now i like to think that do you need to remain a virgin do you have to stay celibate

of course right so i I don't know. But in my head, that haircut is designed to facilitate that. It does help with running the ladies away. They don't care for it. It's practically a head condom. Your head looks like a cock. It's really like it would be a happy day in a monastery to like start losing this where they're like oh thank god now i'm just bald guy now like i won't get made fun of every

time i go to market to buy more wooden shoes and robes or whatever the fuck they wore so i'm actually south carolina uh who who made peas fuck and invented things about evolution. Howie Wendell, I think his name was. Ah, yes. That's what it was. Yeah. He bred peas. Do you guys not know this? He made peas fuck?

No, we didn't cover this in school. He did that hereditary thing, right? Like, he came up with the whole thing that shows how traits are passed on with, like, plants, right? Yeah, yeah. I think we should cover this, but I forgot the guy's name. Yeah, this is like... Howie Mandel? how traits are passed on with plants, right? Yeah. I think we should cover this, but I forgot the guy's name. Howie Mandel?

This is like 8th grade fucking science or something like that. He was a germaphobe as well. Also a germaphobe. I loved his work on Bobby's World. Not so much on America's Got Talent. Pretty annoying. More of a Stern fan there.

Stern didn't contribute as much to the world of biology, so it's kind of even for me. Back in the day, you could get so much credit for bullshit science. This dude was just in a monastery, and he's like, oh no, I mixed these peas with these other peas

in the same plot. And then different peas grow, and people are like, this guy knew that he could put peas together. And it's like, no. He made a mistake, and then he ran with it. He figured it out over time. You look so much like a monkey on camera.

In real life, it kind of looked like you a little. And then the eyebrow, because you often make faces at the camera. But, man, this is Simeon. Oh, yeah. The resemblance is uncanny. When it was a work in progress. Actually, for a long time, the jaw wasn't even attached.

Now, I was like, I see it. I see it. And then Taylor's head. But when you put the jaws on. They look ghoulish. They look ghoulish. And I'll just stop. If I found that hanging in my home, I'd call the authorities.

She tried really hard on these. Oh, of course. But it's still like a Halloween creepy thing. That's the point. I think that's what she was going for. We were supposed to be like a P.K. Marionette show is going to make the mouths move. Some features were not implemented and the mouth on this guy is,

it's like a minstrel show or something. It's really terrible. I like it. I think it's funny. I feel bad about it. Who cares? Kyle certainly doesn't. Kyle, you know you're a beautiful man. Oh, that's not why. I feel bad about it. Who cares? Kyle certainly doesn't.

Kyle, you know you're a beautiful man. Oh, that's not why. This depiction of me is not offensive in any way. Except to people of color. Yeah, everyone knows this. This is her best effort. Jackie's best effort. Jackie's best effort. Jackie's best effort.

Brought to you by Third Reich Productions. It's so bad. You're terrible. We were supposed to be puppets. She's got a cake, cake, can-do attitude. I had, like, you know, I was supposed to be able to control him. Yeah! Yeah!

Look what you're dangling there, boy! I got your ear, boy! Don't you ever speak to a white woman in public again. Jesus Christ. So, the Powerball was $1.6 billion, and a South Carolina man has won. He is

unidentified at this point. In related news, Wings of Redemption has not streamed in three days. Coincidence? I think not. That would be awesome. Fucking hilarious. That would be the funniest thing ever. If Wings won the fucking lottery,

if Wings was a billionaire, a billionaire, that would be the greatest turn of events ever. I would, it's almost as good as if I had won. I bought 10 tickets, didn't win. But if Wings won,

oh my God, that would be so fascinating. He wouldn't do what we would do, though, because I feel like we would all probably make a YouTube channel of nonsense. Right? Like we'd utilize our current audience and be like, hey guys, guess what? This week we're doing PKA from Mount Everest. Yeah.

I just flew everyone up here and I built a palace on the world's highest mountain and here we are. It cost a billion dollars. Yeah, and I built a palace on the world's highest mountain, and here we are. It cost a billion dollars. That's a bad idea. Yeah, now I'm out. This is Mook Mook, my Sherpa. We actually purchased him as well.

I like to think that I would do like so many other people. I'm not even going to change my lifestyle. I would just make smart decisions. Maybe, you know, like a little thing here and there. But by and large, I'm happy with my house. I'm happy with my truck. Like, we're all good. Like, I don't need anything.

I do so much spiteful shit. I'd just like to like, like I'd buy all the land around Woody. Every bit of it in a circle. And I'd do horrible things to it that would drive him crazy. Now, I'd only do this for like six months. Then I'd buy Woody like a nice new house somewhere else. But I wouldn't tell him that was coming. I'd just ruin his life for six months

and drive him insane for the lulz. Like there'd be a sewage treatment plant to his left. Jesus Christ. And a fucking sex store emporium to the right with glory holes in it and like creepy men walking in. You'd take the good with the bad. Because I don't like this sewage plant idea at all oh it's coming it's coming and we're not going to

treat the sewage we're going to store it it's a it's a sewage storage plant and we store it in open sloths just just just out in the open so it can steam dry and just just just ruin your life for like six months and you'd just be cursing my name. And then I'd be like, I'm just kidding, Woody. I've been secretly building you this lovely mansion over here. And then you'd move into that. And then it'd start all over again. You wouldn't be

a billionaire for very long. Oh, come on! This is like a million dollar here, a million dollar there. I have a thousand million dollars. And you invest like half of it, right? It's something very conservative. You only need to gain a percent a year on $500 million

to be making crazy money, right? It's a real problem, though. I become a billionaire and someone wants to kidnap my children. You don't want to tell people. You have to be careful about that. It's hard not to. Some states you have to come forward. Some states you have to. You have to come forward.

Some states you don't. South Carolina is one of those places where you do not have to come forward. But if you do have to come forward, you're absolutely right. It's a little scary. And it makes international travel a virtual impossibility. You have to pick and choose the countries that you're going to be enjoying your vacations in. Most of Europe is fine. Canada is, of course, fine. I don't think you want to go south of the u.s border though you could if you go south of the u.s border like what would it take to like go to

somewhere in central or south america and be like all right i'm going to give you 100 mil and this little section on the coast or whatever where you don't have any like industry or anything just nice little coastal area this is my country now i'm gonna build a wall on it i'm gonna build and it's gonna have a moat too it's gonna like the wall and the motor mostly aesthetic it's gonna be very lord of the ringsy in my country and like why wouldn't that be allowed like brazil would be cool with that give a little teeny little it wouldn't even show up on a map now it's easier to buy an island like like chis and i were looking at the private islands the other day right and for like 35 million dollars you get a banging private island like no joke a big fucking island you go back just 10 years and it's like

yeah but you need infrastructure right you don't even like camping, you know, to have your own island. But nowadays, Elon Musk will solve that shit for you in a month. You know, he'll put in a solar farm and now you're there. $35 million for the island, another $35 million to like add a boat dock and a pier and your house and a solar farm and water treatment and everything. And now you've got an island fortress where you make the rules. And then you start siphoning off Blackwater employees, making your own militia. Before you know it,

you start taking islands without paying. But you still build dope resorts and things on them. Black Ops 4, Battle Royale, your ping is gonna suck. I don't give a shit about my ping on my private island no i have zero ping because i'll be hunting the most dangerous game on my island ah children with pizza cutters no see if you got your own island you could just hunt real people battle

royale style right i feel like you could make that within the rules. It's like, is there some international rule that makes it illegal to hunt people? No. Yeah. There's no rules that beat your country's rules. China does shit all the time. Just because you're on your own island

doesn't mean you're your own country. That's a separate thing. I'm going to make a flag and it's going to be really cool. I'm going to make an anthem. I'm going to hire P. Diddy to do it. No, who's like a... Kanye. Kanye, that'd be funny.

Have him and Taylor Swift duet it. That'd be good. Oh, no. Oh, man. It'd be so easy to waste money on an island you could just go to the philippines buy one of their little shitty islands yeah make good buddies with duterte or whatever his name is you know like he'll he probably wants to go and cut loose sometimes and he's not executing drug dealers he can come hang out at my place no executing drug dealers here. He can show up with all of his drugs and do them on my island. Look at this.

Or he'll execute me. It's a risk. These are islands for sale. Mmm. Alright. I'll just price them high to low here. These are not little specks of land in many cases. I mean, some of them are.

Okay? Like, some of them are. But specks of land in many cases. I mean, some of them are, okay? Like, some of them are. But some of them are fucking enormous. Here's one for $62 million in the Bahamas. It's 460 acres. That's really big. I don't have a good grip on how big 460 acres is. Say that's a square mile. I can't convert it,

but I just know what it is because I've been on parcels of land and known that they were that. Real big. Like, it would take you a long time to drive. It would take a long time to drive around 500 acres. Imagine like a 250 acre lot. Double it.

That's, there you go. A square mile is 640 acres. If that helps people. That's quite a bit. Yeah, so just, you know, mile by a mile. These are so fucking cool. Yeah, I'd definitely buy my own private island. Because I think that there's nothing you can brag about to a woman that's cooler than that.

there's nothing you can brag about to a woman that's cooler than that like you can be like i've got a i've got a bentley and that'll definitely get a a ton of ladies to just bite immediately like no matter what like you don't have to have any game at all like private jet is next level and that still doesn't compare to island but if you're like hey i it was nice meeting you and everything. I'd like to hang out, but we're about to hop in my plane and go to my island. What island? You're going to the Caribbean? No, no, I own an island.

It's called Kyle-topia. Yeah, I'm very vain. You probably picked that up already. It's called Kyle-topia, and it's in the Bahamas. You want to come? There's one 4,600 acres in South Carolina? That's real big.

That's really big. And it's in South Carolina. I didn't know there was. I bet it's useless. You'd have to go to China with building the marsh out or something. Is this Wayne's investment property he's always bragging about? Does he have an investment property? He claims he does.

I bet his mom really owns it. I bet his mom really owns everything that he owns, and there's going to be a rude awakening someday. I hope it doesn't work out poorly for him. I would feel bad. Yeah. I don't wish for bad things to happen they just do now you got me in a place jesus christ right now by the way not as cut

here's a two acre island in canada i wonder if i could afford it like how much is a two acre island in canada there's a whole list of them that are like under half a million um um but you can you can sort by like price uh low to high let me do that most of them don't have the price on it it seems oh that's lame okay um um soul tavern island god that's cool. Even this little one. Okay, here's... Whoa. One acre for... Oh! $21,000. One acre island.

For a one acre island? In Nova Scotia. Here's a... This is a shit island here. Maybe PKA should, you know, go in on an island or something. Yeah, I bought an island, but it's shit. That's funny.

Now, that would be even funnier, right? You tell them, hey, you want to go to my private island? They're like, holy shit, yes. And you charter a seaplane, and you take her to ay ass like shithole with a tent in it and you're like chopping your way through the brush not even charter a seaplane like you load up on some Boston whaler that smells like fish

you bought three mile island that's okay essentially located yeah there's a bunch of islands for less than half a mil i don't know quiet here i feel like all these pictures are taking it low tide the high tide it goes from like three acres to one yeah that's fucking cool that that's the kind of extravagance that I would definitely do if I had a billion dollars. I think what you

want to not do is get into things that keep costing money. I think having one of those private planes where every time you want to show off... First of all, just keeping it parked somewhere is very expensive, and then the maintenance is very expensive, the pilot's very expensive.

Did you hear Chael talking about this recently? No, but I just know a couple guys that have them, and I'm aware that it's a big expenditure. That guy in Texas has one, right? First, he's got to build a runway. There's a little bit of cost, but it doesn't keep

coming. Then he has to have the thing parked somewhere, and when he wants it, he has to call them and have them bring it to, but it doesn't keep coming. Then he has to have the thing parked somewhere. And when he wants it, he has to call him and have him bring it to him because he doesn't have his own jet hangar. It doesn't make sense to keep it there, so he keeps it somewhere else. So he has to pay just to have it brought to him. That's fuel and maintenance because every hour of operation requires an hour of maintenance or something silly like that.

It might have to do with the pilot too, right? The pilot is by the plane not by him of course yeah yeah yeah although although he's got a knack of like whenever he wants someone to work for him like you know that that ranch out there is such a paradise like a lot of like it's that chef that he's got it's like he works on it at a an amazing private chef that works in a five-star restaurant but he's happy to come out there and cook for pennies because he gets to come out there and play. Yeah, Chael Sutton was saying – now, Chael's got some money, right? Chael's earned a lot of money in his lifetime.

And he was like, never own anything that costs a lot of money to own. He's like, that will drain you dry. And it's like, yeah, yeah. I'm not sure I'm following that advice really, but that makes a lot of sense. Like, you know, a plane is a great example. A boat is a pretty good example. You own those things

and you just have to keep paying them. You know, whether it be slip, like boats deteriorate pretty quickly. So you have to have them washed all the time. You have to pay for where you park it. You have to do all sorts of things or it just gets worse and worse. Planes, time passes by and you need to replace things.

And just like boats, every part on it is stupid expensive. The mechanic you hire for a plane has certifications that make him very expensive. And you own things that are expensive just to own. Like you can buy an expensive thing. Like if you get your wife a nice ring and that makes her happy, that doesn't keep costing you every year. But some things do.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, and there are such things as appreciating assets. So it might make sense to spend some of your fortune on those so that if you ever want to get your money back, you can. And a lot, you know, real estate's pretty fucking good about that. Yeah. Yeah, that's true.

Especially in the long term. You know, maybe there's going to be short term. I sometimes wonder what this place should be worth. My area is kind of booming. And it hadn't always been. We'll see about that. Like when, remember when when the last housing boom, like Vegas shot up, Florida shot up?

Research Stronger Park didn't. But lately, it seems like it has. There's a lot of places that shot up, and they're making all these big investments and properties. And I'm like, is this going to be good for me in a decade? Could this be something really substantial?

Isn't it going to burst again at some point? Because we still give out subprime loans to people who can't pay them off. I hear you. And I've had that same thought. I've been betting. I haven't really been betting against the economy. I've still been investing. But emotionally betting against the economy for a couple of years now.

And I've been kind of wrongish. This year sucks. But the thing about real estate is... We're due, though. Like, we're kind of on the cycle for when couple years now, and I've been kind of wrong-ish. This year sucks. The thing about real estate is... We're due, though. We're kind of on the cycle for when it should happen. The thing about real estate is, even if it does burst, it'll fill right back up again.

It might go down, but it's going to go back up again. There's not going to be... It's not going to be like 20 years from now, your house is worth more than it is now. It's going to be, with inflation. It doesn't help the average person at all though because they have to lose their house and

sell it for way less than they thought they were going to end up selling it for. I'm just saying for normal people, they're not nearly as fortunate. Your whole life is lost in a way. If they can't make the payments on it. If your house goes down in value though, you don't necessarily stop making your payments. You just made a bad investment yes so much yeah your ears like this

like the the top part of this is so like this part i i wish i had kept the fucking placard that shows how big this is supposed to be on someone's head because for me i look like i'm wearing a yarmulke like with this thing when it was like the guy in the thing like had his you know prayer and cross held and it was like all the way down like very very far down no very quickly realized i should have tried this on the store but i'm sure someone else already did which is why i'm gonna have lice see kyle you should have just got a regular headphone bud for this episode i i should have but i just bought these my uh my astros quit working so these are the um the audio what the

mx 50s maybe yeah the ath m50x the red and gold edition i like they look very fancy they're highly regarded as uh outperforming their price point, and they've just had a good reputation for a long time. Yeah, I asked a few people, and Chiz and a couple other guys recommended them highly. There were some guys who were saying I wanted an open-back headphone because the soundstage was so nice, but I'm not a DJ.

I'm not mixing any hot beats over here. I want to close back headphone headset. How do you like it so far? What has been your opinion? I'm using them with the Astro Mix Amp. The only problem I've got is if I jiggle the wires

too much, I get some crackling and popping. I wouldn't blame that on the headset as much as I would... I don't know. Bad connection somewhere. Bad connection, or maybe the cables that came with it. I don't know what's going on. But I like the sound quality

a lot. I mean, the Astros are not a bad headset. The A40s or whatever they have, that's a $300 headset. They certainly weren't a bad headset, the a40s or whatever they had that's a $300 headset so like they they certainly weren't a bad headset but i i would say that these are really nice and i and i like them how's the comfort is a huge deal for me not for you maybe no no i i'm i'm i'm frustrated with my my my locks i can see that uh of hair here uh i'm not i'm not shrugging at you or whatever you would never do that i on his feet before you shrugging at you or whatever you would never do

that on his feet before you shrug these things i'll look at what they are like akg something q701 something like that and uh they're super comfortable on the ears they're really light and i love that about them sometimes i find the top center of the headband to be a little itchy I don't know why it just presses down and sort of moves my hair in a way that gets annoying I've got a I've got one iPod

earbud that I wear got a HyperX has an H and an X on the side sound out of left and right headphones fits over the head nicely with adjustable an H and an X on the side. Sound out of left and right headphones. Fits over the head nicely with adjustable. I don't know if you can hear that.

Adjustable, and it plugs handily right into your computer for listening. And I bet it is a little cheaper than what you guys have. But also, probably, I don't know. Kyle, yours looks fancy as shit. It looks like something one of those pro-gaming gamer guys would wear. I suppose so.

Woody's is probably quite a bit more expensive. I don't remember. I think mine are like $150, maybe $180, somewhere in there. Woody's looks more like a pro, like professional audio mixing or something like that. Is that a gaming headset woody no it's it's meant to mine i'm just i just looked it up uh 290 is what it would cost and um yeah it's the open sound stage and it's supposed to be like a reference thing so

if you mix the different volumes together you get a really accurate sound and as opposed like if you were to do it on say say, Beats by Dre, then it would be so bass heavy that when people listen on something else, it wouldn't be what you were targeting. And we know it's worked out great. PKA audio mixing is historically top notch. So it was a good investment. It really made me good at it.

That's good. Yeah, I've done pretty well as far like those astros i got for free and so this is the first like sponsor you kind of uh i was at uh a convention and they just handed me like three boxes of astros you know now that i bought my first astros but now that you mentioned it yeah they have shipped me a couple of pair along the way um yeah there's uh there's red ones that i wore forever like maybe i was at e3 or something like that and uh and you know saw them and spoke to them a little bit and they they were just like here take what color you want and like like i was like i want red and he's like oh i want pink and you know we just and i was like well i'd like an extra one for my razor blade here that razor just gave me.

It costs a lot more than what you got there, just saying. Oh, yeah, here's one for your mobile gaming experience. What was the event that broke it? Did you get frustrated and slam them and run them over with your chair? Literally nothing. I've always been very careful with them. I've never dropped them. But the left ear started going out.

And it was so... It was such a... It didn't go out and crackle and pop. It just stopped working one day. And I literally thought I was going deaf in my left ear. Because I damaged this eardrum one time with a mortar. I was dropping mortars in the tube. A couple years ago?

Yeah, like seven years ago. I was dropping mortars in the tube a couple years ago yeah like seven years ago i was dropping mortars into the tube and they were exploding next to my left ear every time and uh and that really hurt my ear and so i was like shit i'm going going deaf in my left ear because i'd be gaming and it's really noticeable when you don't have stereo when when suddenly you're just right ear only and i was like oh god and I was like getting q-tips and like like like maybe my ears just filthy and I'm like like no no my ears clean and I'm like maybe I need to like bump my eardrum to reinflate it or something I was I was I was on the verge of going to an ear doctor and then like first I just slapped the side of the the headphone to like try to impact my ear literally like maybe

make some suction and then started working and i was like oh it's the headset dummy what the fuck of course and and it started and it started working but then it would stop working and and when when it became like annoying i was just like well i'll just buy a headset you know um you made a funny video where you dropped the mortar in and only went like three i was just like well i'll just buy a headset you know um you made a funny video where you dropped the mortar in and only went like three feet was it about that time was it like it was that day okay yeah yep my friend's mother busted her eardrum she was using a q-tip you know and improperly of course because that's how you use them and she had it in the middle and then for one reason or another she raised her arm and she used her

shoulder to impale the q-tip through her eardrum and like damaged it and she was pretty much deaf in that ear she said it like could kind of sort of work but not really and the doctor was able to fully repair it i don't know what the procedure is like but she's fine yeah my drunk abusive grandfather apparently slapped my grandmother in the ear once and uh deafened her in that ear for the rest of her life wow just by hitting me outside of it like that yeah he slapped her in the ear so hard yeah it's weird that that doesn't happen in fighting more than it is right like and i i like i don't slap each other i know i know sometimes they do like if you're in the clinch he's right like i'm in the clinch you're trying

to like like if i were in the clinch with somebody they were getting the better of me and i and you've got like this much movement you can do with your hand those punches don't hurt especially if they they're annoying but to a professional athlete who gets punched for a living he's just gonna weather them but a bunch of fucking slaps to the ear i can see that getting me off of you real quick oh yeah it's like mma news like we gotta shift a little bit to mma ben askren right going to ufc trade they're trading dj away i couldn't be i think that's the best trade imaginable because let me let me say this about dj phenomenal athlete maybe the goat right unfortunately the guy's five foot two or

whatever right and he's just for whatever, fans don't find that as interesting. For people who aren't, he fights at the 125-pound division. Little fella, but he might be the most talented of all time. He was on this crazy winning streak. Like, he defended his belt, like, 11, 12 times or something. I think that's the record. And then he lost his last fight out. But it was close.

It was a split decision. I assumed there'd be a quick rematch, but no. UFC apparently is trading him to, what is it, one fighting championship or something like that. Some other organization for this guy named Ben Askren. Wait, they can do that? They can just trade to different organizations? Well, everything Kyle said is right.

They're effectively trading him. They can't actually trade, but they can release this guy from their contract at the same time he releases their contract with the you know that the so it's all but yeah exactly yeah practically it's a trade so this guy they're picking up i've i've only watched his highlights on youtube but i've heard joe rogan talk about him with great reverence you know they're always saying, it's a shame that this guy doesn't get to fight in the UFC, that he hasn't ever, and he probably will never, et cetera, et cetera. That's been the story behind this guy, because they talk about just how incredibly talented

he is, and how amazing his wrestling is, and how powerful he is for his size, and how he just out-wrestles anyone and everyone, and just embarrasses people. And I watch his highlights and he's like riding people he's like riding this one guy and he does like that rodeo thing like this and then pow like he's like showboating on people and he uh he tweeted out something about humbling a russian or something like which is of course a message to habib um so he'd have to drop down to 155 for that but i believe he fights at 170 um he fights at 170 now one does a thing i forget the specifics of it but they change the way that fighters weigh in so everyone went up a class so he might weigh in same day you know which so you wouldn't want to

be all week and and such so 155 i don't think is a big move for him if he were to do weigh-ins like ufc fighters do uh he's undefeated uh but he hasn't faced the same kind of competition that you would if you'd spent a career in the ufc he's an elite super high level grappler i think he's world champion definitely silver medalist or something crazy like that like i don't know how caa champion and all-american and um just really well regarded for his grappling which suddenly is cool again like grapplers used to be the boring people that people didn't like to watch but there's a lot of excitement around khabib so he would be like that i think that like as someone who's not nearly as into it as you guys i think

that grappling versus striking thing comes down to how interested you are in MMA. Like if you are into it and you kind of get what you're looking at, you enjoy watching grappling. Whereas you do not if you don't know what the fuck you're watching. I agree with every word. Because then I've watched it with people. Yeah. And like people will be like, oh, this is so boring. And like I'll be like, it kind of is.

Yeah, you're right. I don't know nearly enough about the moves they're doing down there for me to appreciate the technique. But I do appreciate one guy getting a heavy hand right to the side of the head. It's like, oh, I know what he did there. But if you've done it, you're like, oh, my God, he just went from a half guard to side control. Now he can put so much more weight into those elbows.

He controls his own body. I get that. I'm still very excited about ben askren it's kind of a shame though it's a i is he 33 how old has been askren uh he retired he retired and said you know i don't want to fight into my old age he's 34 uh and that is getting there that's old for a fighter for any professional, that's getting up there. He's going to be past his peak. And so it's...

I'm trying to make another sports parallel, and it's just stupid. But yeah, we don't get to see what he might have done. He's 34. I'm excited to see him. And I frankly don't care that DJ's going. I've got one more thing I want to slip in. He said something. Ben Askren did it. Maybe Twitter or Instagram. That really want to slip in. He said something, Ben Askren did it, maybe Twitter

or Instagram, that really burned into my head. He's like, have you noticed that no one has called me out? I'm coming to the UFC. Not a single person at 155 or 170 has said my name once. And I'm like, motherfucker's right.

People talk about going to the UFC. Everyone's like, yeah, I'm going to welcome that bitch myself. This guy's about to see what the top-tier organization is like. He's been over there and won, having a good time, over there in Strikeforce, World Champions, whatever. Like, when Gilbert Melendez comes, they're lining up. They want to show that guy what top level is like. No one's talking about Ben.

Everyone is like, I hope someone else gets him. I'm not down for that. I'm excited to see uh this next card doesn't excite me at all it's basically just uh versus yeah yeah and look i i it's just is it 230 or 231 230 and i just don't see anything happening but cormier uh out wrestling this guy out working this guy out cardioing him I I just I I don't know I don't see how uh Derek Lewis can win this I mean I see how he can win it there's there's one clear way he can win it and that's by punching Cormier in the head and knocking him fucking unconscious but I don't think he can do that to Cormier Derek Lewis I don't know abandoned his mustache 100 percent Derek Lewis is the guy that don't know. I like how you just abandoned the mustache 100% now.

Derek Lewis is the guy who was exhausted and got worked for three rounds on the Conor McGregor card and then knocked the guy out with a few seconds left and said his balls were hot. Well, now he's getting a title shot. So that's kind of fun. Wyman versus Souza. That's sort of interesting. I hope Wyman comes back. His balls were hot?

You didn't see that? Oh, it was hot. So this guy, Derek Lewis, usually when you win a fight, you try to look like it was easy for you. You try to be like, yeah, I could have gone a few more rounds. Derek Lewis got worked for like two and seven-eighths rounds out of three. And with maybe 14 seconds left left i'm a little shady on the details this guy's got cannons cannons that he throws and he's throwing them a hit and error

all fight long he hits this guy and the fight's over just ends it with his big punch after the fight's over he lays down on his back and just sucks wind. He doesn't give a fuck. Takes his shorts off. He's just trying, yeah. And then he stands up and he takes his shorts off and he's standing around in his underwear.

And everyone's like, what? He's in his underwear. And it's like a tight, I don't know, spandex maybe type thing. Athletic underwear. Yeah, and Joe Rogan interviews him afterwards and he's like why'd you take your pants off my balls were hot rogan's like yeah i understand what's he gonna say you

know what they probably were hot yeah probably so so he's fighting uh cormier cormier for the uh for the title now and that's kind of fun the The Weidman fight, I love Weidman. He's been hurt so much. But this guy, the first fight of the night, Israel Alessandra, the style bender, I'm very excited about him.

If he beats Brunson, maybe a title shot. Definitely gets himself in that elite tier. Yeah, this is not the card I pay for, though. This is the card that I find one of those shady streams for. Yeah, I see where you're coming from. I'm not paying for this.

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brief sexual content. These are a few of my favorite things. I am very excited about this movie. If you watch the trailer, if you don't want any idea of what's coming then i you know take just take my word for it looks really good but uh if you want to know what's up with this and and i don't think it's a huge spoiler to know uh watch the overlord trailer on youtube

uh you will be pleasantly surprised it looks very cool. It reminds me of a few video games I've played. Very excited to watch this movie. Yeah, I started the trailer a few seconds ago. It looks really really cool. Yes, very bloody, very gory, very violent, and it's got that World War II GI kind of

thing going for it. Dingy, grungy, dirty boots on the ground kind of feel yeah this is really cool like saving private ryan meets dawn of the dead or something like that very it's the best world war ii movie of all time saving private ryan that would have been my vote too i didn't want it to be lame but that really is the best i was your that is really good i had fury in my head and then he said that, and I'm like, I want to switch.

Yeah, Saving Private Ryan Wentz. The real question is, what's the best Vietnam movie ever made? Because you could go back and forth between Full Metal Jack, Platoon, Thin Red Line. There's a lot of really good Vietnam movies. It's definitely not Full Metal Jacket. I think for me it might be. I liked it more than Platoon.

I liked Platoon more than Full Metal Jacket. If you for me it might be. I liked it more than Platoon. I liked Platoon more than Full Metal Jacket if you talk about the whole movie as an aggregate. Because Platoon never hits the peak of Full Metal Jacket's beginning, but Platoon maintains better throughout, I think. I agree. Whereas the really good part of Full Metal Jacket is more than undone by the really bad part.

So net-net, it's lower. Yeah, you guys have the popular opinion. I liked the second half of Full Metal Jacket more than other people did. I also agree that it dips. It's not as good as the first half. But I thought the second half was interesting too. You shoot women

at children? Yeah! How can you shoot women at children? It's easy. You just don't lead them so much is forrest gump a vietnam movie does that count as a vietnam i i considered that as well it's such a small part of forrest gump though you know it's such a crazy like spanning the the breadth of like that golden part of i suppose of american history history. It covers so much shit. We all know Born on the Fourth of July is the

top Vietnam movie. That was awful. That was hard to make it through. You haven't seen it? No. They had high aspirations, you can tell. It's like a three hour movie. I don't know. Super duper long.

They really wanted to make something that was great but for me it just drug on and ah i forgot a couple apocalypse now you ever seen apocalypse now i'm sure i have it's the plot's not i'm sure i've seen it i don't remember much it's um it's where charlie sheen's dad goes behind enemy lines to get a colonel who's gone crazy, played by Marlon Brando. I think he's maybe in Laos or something like that. He's across the border. He's gone crazy. That is a very good Vietnam movie, and it's weird.

The Deer Hunter. I've heard of that that but never seen it you're missing some very intense shit if you haven't seen deer hunter there um there's a scene where rob um robert de niro and um christopher walken have been captured and the Vietnamese are keeping them in like this they're like on this bamboo shelter that's in the river they're like above the water and

underneath it in the water chest deep or maybe even like head deep and they have to like tread water and hang on to shit are De Niro Christopher Walken, and a bunch of the other GIs. And the Vietnamese above bring up two of them every now and then and make them play Russian roulette

and they bet. And they hold them at gunpoint. I don't know if you want to watch that scene right now, but it's one of the best fucking scenes ever. I honestly don't want to watch it because the way you're describing it, I want to see the movie now. It's just called Deer Hunter.

The Deer Hunter. To be fair, that scene's the best part of the movie. I don't want to watch it right now. The rest of the movie is a little meh, but that scene makes it a great Vietnam movie. Now, another one. You probably forgot about this, but our old, my personal friend, Mel Gibson, made a little movie called We Were Soldiers.

I've never seen We Were Soldiers. You haven't seen that? That is one of the best military movies of all time. It's also got that guy with that fantastic mustache whose name's escaping me. He was in Big Lebowskiowski he was in tombstone um and he's like mel gibson's second in command i believe it's about the first major battle of the vietnam war and it's also like one of the first battles that the air cavalry were involved in and mel gibson is the commanding officer of this air cavalry unit or whatever i don't know like military jargon as far

as like the unit size oh this one with uh sam elliott the marlboro man's guy yeah yeah okay i saw this a long time ago very good movie very good i agree yeah i really like that movie and you don't know i don't know my history that well so i didn't really know how it was going to work out i don't know we're going to win we're didn't really know how it was going to work out. I didn't know if we were going to win, if we were going to lose, who's going to make it through this thing. No, look, you know how... No, that's fair. The war, we all know how it goes, but the battle,

I don't know the battle. I don't know how that's going to go. I agree 100%. It was fun to watch. I liked it. You know a good all-time war one, if we're just talking about all-time, was Downfall.

Have you guys seen that about hitler yeah it's a german movie and so you have to read subtitles but it portrays hitler better than any movie i've ever seen because too often like i feel like in those movies they go over the top with hitler where they make him like so evil that it's like so at no point was like he trying to win or something like he was just all out for evil but like with this movie downfall they like show enough of humanizing stuff that it actually makes him scarier you know because it's like it's the same way that if you're watching a serial killer movie and he's just a just wanting to kill and there's no rhyme or reason it's not that scary but if it has like a thing where you know he'll

sit down and have a cup of tea with a girl randomly at a tea party and you're thinking the whole time he's gonna do something fucked up and then he doesn't like that adds more creepiness to it there's another layer now to discover you know he's not just doing this willy-nilly there's a reason for it like like saw exactly like if saw were just bloodless and like just bloodthirsty 100 it wouldn't be as interesting like in the same way they like they showed hitler's madness and his evil but they like they made it even creepier by showing like his like oh i love i like my dog or oh i really am getting along here oh this lovely german couple or whatever like it it it felt more real than other world war ii movies it was it gets fucking intense at the the end when they're in the bunker.

And I don't know what the fucking German actor's name is who plays Hitler, but he kills it. Fucking kills it. His name is Hitler, apparently, because he looks just like him. He does look just like him. He does an amazing job. What were you going to say, Woody? What it's like to be Hitler's friend, I hope?

Yeah, or someone in that class, right? it doesn't have to be stalin's friend or even a guy who's really wealthy but you know that he was awful to make it happen so i i watch a ton of documentaries about both hitler and stalin because once you get started on netflix it's like youtube it keeps feeding them to you and i um in Hitler's case, he didn't have a lot of close people. The people that he trusted the most were the people that were with him in the very beginning when he was speaking out in those beer halls. And there was one guy in particular whose names escaped me. He was cross-eyed. That's, that's the most defining characteristic of him I remember, but he was Hitler's main bodyguard. And, and Hitler used to

like joke around that, like, I better, better hope that Heinrich main bodyguard. And Hitler used to joke around that, I better hope that Heinrich back there is being sharp on the day that someone comes for me. He might hit me instead. He's cracking jokes. And Himmler hated this guy. Himmler ran the SSS, I want to say. Bruno Gesch.

Bruno Gesch. And Himmler hated how close this guy was with Hitler because he was like Hitler's friend. Meanwhile, Himmler was like an underling who Hitler was always pitting others against. So all of his underlings were always fighting for Hitler's attention and praise and to rise in the party and to get more responsibility and more power. But this guy just seemed to be, he was drunk all the time. He'd get into arguments with other SS officers and pull a pistol out and get violent. And he'd always get a slap on the wrist. And even when he, I think he pulled out a pistol and shot another SS guy.

Just undeserving of his post. Yes, yes. He seemed undeserving of his post, but incredibly loyal and loving of Hitler. And so that seemed, from all the documentaries I've watched and stuff I've read, to be as close as Hitler came to having a friend. Stalin, on the other hand, seemed to have no friends. Stalin was so paranoid and crazy that he was liquidating anyone who would like most of the people that he kept with him for long periods of time were either so stupid that he really picked people who were stupid loyal like they they were stupid enough and loyal enough that he knew that they wouldn't

they easy to manipulate they couldn't they wouldn't aspire to try to take over for him and uh and they were and they were dumb enough that they couldn't if they wanted to, which you would think would work against him, but he was very successful at the things he did. They called him the Iron Man for a reason. He was a real evil, evil person. He killed millions and millions of people. Maybe that's too evil then. I wonder what it's like to be a friend with someone who,

who is there a super wealthy old school, old money American family starts with the V Vanderbilt. I think you're thinking of like old, like, like Vanderbilt or who's the railroad guy, Rockefeller or the Rothschilds with like all the central banks, everything like their money kind of ruthlessly, Rockefeller, or the Rothschilds with all the central banks and everything. Some of these guys made their money kind of ruthlessly.

They would just really twist the knife and put other people out of business and ruin families and fortunes so that they could be what? Richer than rich? These are people who wanted for nothing, whose great, great, great grandchildren were going to have more money than they could spend and they're still twisting the knife. And it's like, but if you're their friend, is it like, dude, fucking Rockefeller is great. We go out fishing. He's really sweet. Loves dogs. You know, meanwhile

he's a life ruiner. It's a good argument against straight up libertarianism. Because it's like, this is what you're going to get. You're going to get a handful of people who control fucking everything. Like, if you don't, you know, force them to break up

or have some monopoly control. You and your politics talk, Taylor. Yeah, we wouldn't want Amazon and Walmart controlling every fucking thing. I hear you. That's going to be a thing. Dude, I am the problem. I buy everything through Amazon I can.

I will find something for sale somewhere else and then see if Amazon has it. And someday I'll regret that behavior. In 10 years, these are going to be your options. Smaller, like Kroger-style grocery chains that are nice stores, but they're just more grocery. Walmart and Amazon. grocery chains that are nice stores but they're just more grocery uh walmart uh and amazon because target sees themselves as like walmart's competitor walmart does not see target as a competitor in the same way it's the same way that if i was like standing next to joe lozano i'm like yeah we're about to like get in a little brawl. I'm his competitor. I'm his competitor. Even though he's

trained and he's way bigger and stronger and faster and knows all the moves and knows I'm about to fight him. That means I'm on the same level. No, no, no. No, you're just in the same business. You don't see it as a competition. Amazon and Walmart are the only two titans. Home Depot used to think that about Lowe's.

They used to, but I mean, the world has changed so much with e-commerce and some things like home improvement stores are going to have to always stay physical things like lowes home depot even costco is saying you're gonna get lumber from amazon like costco is distancing themselves from e-commerce and not really paying attention because they kind of see like well our business model is people come in load up on shit and then come back two months later like you know you're not going to order a thousand boxes of cheez-its on amazon i mentioned lowe's and home depot because lowe's became their peer i think anyway um and i it's maybe i'm coming from bias view i only go to i go to target i

only go to walmart if i'm like out of town and i don't know the options but i'm a target person just let's do it most people are not like uh target dominates like uh minnesota for example because that's like minneapolis is where target's founded so they like dominate that but where you are like you're in the distinct minority where all of us are in the the sec conference walmart beats the shit out of everybody or even though you're acc it's close yeah i was gonna let it go this week yeah it's it's really easy to see the difference between Target and Walmart. When you walk in, look to the left. If there's a Subway, you're in Walmart.

If there's a Starbucks, you're in Target. And that says everything there is to know about those two chains. Are you a Subway person or a Starbucks person? I would rather pay more at Target personally just because I'm dealing with a different kind of clientele. The people around me are of a different cut

from a different cloth, I suppose. Walmart, there's some real fucking freaks in Walmart. There's some fuckers in there. But it's way cheaper. Yeah, it is cheaper like i like walmart more is that target does this thing called skew rationalization which is what some retail distributors do which a skew is a stock keeping unit that's just like when you put

like this can of you know if they sold vanilla coke zero by the single can you know that would be one there like one stock keeping unit and what what Walmart does is they just take whatever the top performing stuff is, and they load it up with that. They load it up. What Target does is they'll rationalize it and go, okay, well, are we going to make that much more money if we carry more than the top three or four SKUs in each given category? And they go, well, we won't make that much more, and this makes it a lot easier to have relationships with our you know producers and people who make our merchandise and so yeah we'll do this and so basically that's why when you walk into a target aisle and you see cat food or detergent or well detergent's a bad example because that's all procter and gamble but if you walk into some other specialty aisle you'll see like two or three maybe four options of something you walk

into a fucking walmart aisle a hundred options right there like that's why i like walmart more it's very easy to walk into target and then not have what you need whereas walmart they will always have it i got lost because it sounded like you said the opposite at one point that walmart carries the top three no then i explained it it's target that carries carries the top three or four. They carry the best performing SKUs. Walmart will go much more in-depth and fill out different, more selective. The reason Walmart can do that is because their user base is so much larger.

So they can make a higher margin off of an item there, knowing that, oh, this isn't going to make us... It's not a higher margin. This is going to make us not that much on a margin, but it's a destination item that we know that target doesn't carry and so we'll we'll steal that consumer so target has fewer target has way fewer customers than walmart by an insane yeah yeah overall they do yeah so if you're looking for something specific walmart's your bet or amazon which is why wal Walmart is scared to death of Amazon.

Yeah. Yeah. Amazon. Amazon's customer service has been really good. Sorry, that was probably really boring. To me. Every once in a while, something doesn't come right, something comes damaged or whatever. I call Amazon.

They're just like, I'm sorry that happened. We can get a UPS guy to your door to get this returned. And it's the service you'd hope toPS guy to your door to get this returned. It's the service you'd hope to have. I try to buy through them. I really enjoy Amazon's service on everything. I've never had an issue where something came. If I order some pants and they don't fit, just send them right back.

They'll send you some more or they'll just give you your money back. They don't care. If you order an item and you're like, oh shit, three days later you realize that you ordered that from China and now you don't want it because it's going to be three weeks before you get it, just cancel it. They give you a bunch of options to choose for why you're canceling it. Just pick one at random. They don't care. Just cancel it. They'll send it right

back to China. They're just cool about everything. They never fuck you over. You can just lie to them i'm sure you know and be like just use an item and send it back i bet and it'd be all cool yeah no i don't i'm afraid that if i am not a good customer i'll somehow not be treated well anymore yeah of course i mean we've got a guy who comes to the pk hangout every uh every month by the way if you'd like to become part of the PK Hangout, link down below. PK patron. Patreon.

50 bucks. You can hang out with us for two to four hours, depending on how things go, every month. And it's a grand old time. We should probably do that really soon. Check your email. Really soon. Yeah, maybe this weekend.

But one of the guys, and it's pretty shitty buddy because one you're setting a bad example for african americans and two which one could it be it's the only african-american gentleman who comes every week every month but what he does is every hangout he goes to Best Buy and buys a microphone, like a Blue Yeti microphone or a Snowball or whatever the fuck they're called, and maybe a headset too, does the hangout with us, then he returns it to the fucking store

and gets his money back. And he does this every month. Every month. I think it's great. He's got some great stories. He was talking about, we're not saying his name, so I feel like, yeah. Yeah's got some great stories. He was talking about... We're not saying his name, so I feel like... Yeah, just don't say anything.

We're not giving away any identifying characteristics, so I feel like I can tell him. Well, you said he was black, so that's down to three. Shit! In our audience. But I believe his name is Mr. Black. Mr. Black, he was seeing this young lady, and he picked her up off lady, and she invited him to

he picked her up off Tinder, and he like goes to her dad's boat or something, and they're like chilling on the boat, and every time he tries to get a little frisky with her he can't get past like first or second base, somewhere in there, he can't get to third or fourth, and he's getting very frustrated, and the gentleman

enjoys a bit of marijuana it seems, and he has some sort of a vape pen that utilizes marijuana. And he said that at some point, it went missing. Like a couple of them went missing, like not the product itself, but like the battery part of his vape, like the main like stick part they went missing and she's like ah who knows he's like i know bitch you stole my shit so he stole her amazon echo he just he goes now i got an amazon echo who do you belong to wrong bitch you mind now he just stole her fucking shit and i'm like oh this your your feet you're really living up to some bad stereotypes here mr black this isn't looking good is it

looking good but i like that guy a lot he's a he's a fucking cool guy he's got good stories i won't say what he's going to school to do, but it's very impressive. And I like him a lot. Cool dude. And the same can be said for the vast majority of the guys on there. We had a new guy last month, Noah. And we gave him a real hard time when he joined. And I was like, ah, maybe we're too hard on him, right? Because we were like, you know, we're too hard on him right because we were we were like

you know we're ragging on him because he looks like uh hurley from lost and as soon as he joined the call i was like oh i loved you and lost and everybody cracked up and laughed at him and i was like ah maybe i was mean to him but maybe i was mean to him i wasn't the one that said i loved it when he sings somewhere over the rainbow I didn't say that shit. I mean, I did link the video afterwards. But anyway, that guy's a $500 patron, and he hung out with us the other night and played

Monopoly for like two or three hours or something like that. Rinto Fortune, you mean? Yes, yes. Not Monopoly. And it turned out that... Didn't everybody win but you? And Noah Oh yeah So we played three games

And Woody and I were not expecting a win We pulled one out Hey maybe that's what's gonna happen With this fitness challenge Maybe Woody and I are gonna be so Sure That we're not gonna win

That we'll wake up at random times And be like you know what It seems like a jog in place time right now Okay And he's just like, honey, where's my chest strap? It's going to be so much work to win this.

You're going to have to roll a lot of dice to beat me, motherfucker. So yeah, go ahead and join our Patreon. You know, have a good time with us. It's really fun every month. I enjoy hanging out with those guys.

And speaking of that, I wonder if we've got any AMA questions here that would be interesting to answer for that's uh that's a mere ten dollars per month we answered a lot of them last did we answer the one about uh making 420 a smoking episode yeah that doesn't work for any of us yeah we don't live in legal states so in the same way that it would never be a good idea to commit ourselves doing grand theft auto. What you're asking for is a bad idea. If it ever is legal in all of our states, at the same time, we'll discuss a 420 episode. I have the additional thing.

So my daughter's not allowed to smoke pot. That's a thing. It's especially important to Jackie. And I would prefer that she save that until she was over 25 or something i don't know is it i don't want her doing it and uh if i were to do it that would be pretty hypocritical if she was if it was legal though you could always be like still no because i think what's the age of for legal it's 21 right same as alcohol typically it's not 18 i think you're right 21 yeah it's 21 and she's not even close to 21 i don't think like she'd still be good yeah 19 oh she's getting close i guess yeah and it's definitely

not going to be legal in all of our states in the next two years do you guys have anything on your ballot for marijuana this year because we have three different things about marijuana on our ballot and they're not expected to win though uh no they kind of are like i i re thought about it and talked to my grandparents who are like rural southern missouri voters and if i had to ask them you know eight nine years ago like how do you feel about marijuana they'd be like hell no i don't want people smoking driving being retards all over the place like whatever they would say like now that the opium crisis has gotten so real in rural areas like i even like i brought it up i think like last year or something like that where i'm like yeah we should just legalize it now start making some money off of this like the way colorado is and they're like yeah i totally agree you know people are talking

about marijuana uh sessions talking about marijuana. Like people in rural areas, aren't dealing with overdoses from opium all day, every day. Like how about we pay a little attention to this, to this huge opium problem? Like that's the rural thought process for those old people. Now they don't give a fuck about weed. Like they want that, this opium problem handled. So I think it's going to pass. The first one is like, I think it's like, yeah, it's, it's not for legalization. It's for medical use. The first one's like, oh, you can use it medically, but you, there's a 2% tax and it goes to the troops, like veterans who get back and need help.

There's another one that's a 4% tax for the veterans, exact same thing. And there's one that's a 15% tax to give to some government think tank. What if they all pass? Does this roll in at 18%? Yeah, that would suck. But what I think is going to happen is that it's a conservative enough state that I think most people are going to vote for the 4% one because they'll want to give the most to the veterans who get back but people in missouri are not going to like the

idea of giving it to some random think tank at 15 so i think it's going to pass here like all the even older conservatives i talked to are are on board with it yeah i think we've already got medical here but um it's uh there's no way to acquire it so like like there's no way to acquire it. What's that mean? Like, there's no way... Even if you qualify for it, where do you get it legally? That's the situation. Oh, so it's almost like it's just lip service legal. Sort of, yeah. Like, the first step is done,

but they'll have to figure out a way to facilitate the supply to those medical patients, which has not been done. It's showing there are 30 states. I wish there was a fucking date on this article. Oh no, August 20th, 2018. So this is current.

There are 30 states where marijuana is legal for medicinal purposes. It's legalized like good to go in Oregon, Washington, Nevada, California, Alaska, Colorado, Vermont, Massachusetts, and Maine, and D.C. legalized like good to go in oregon washington nevada california alaska colorado vermont massachusetts and maine and dc it's medical and decriminalized in minnesota illinois ohio new york maryland and delaware and rhode island it's medical in montana north uh north dakota new in Montana, North Dakota, New Mexico, Arizona, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Florida, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and it's fully illegal where both of you are. Or no, it's decriminalized

where you and I are, Woody. So it's not like fully illegal, but it's fully illegal in Georgia, Kyle. So good to know. I think it's decriminalized in the city of metro atlanta but if you get picked up in metro atlanta by like the wrong cop you know then that's no good you need to get caught by an atlanta police department officer you know one of those state law cops yeah exactly yeah totally yeah north car... None of these states had labels on them, and I knew fucking all of them. So, third grade, Miss Stevenson, hell yeah, you taught me

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So this guy is asking me, but he wants your opinions too, I suppose. Nice. I work in a hemp farm as a grower in Roxborough, North Carolina, and I was wondering your opinion of hemp. Hemp is cannabis, but with not much THC, can't get you high. I know you live in North Carolina and so do I. And I was wondering what your opinion on the plant itself is. And if you see the market for it going up or falling. I'm like the worst guy to ask about this. I don't

know the first thing about hemp, but I know that it's legal in other countries and they don't like make all their clothes out of hemp and they don't make all their ropes out of hemp, and they don't make all their ropes out of it. It's not a miracle plant in places where it could be. So I don't know why it would be here. Do you guys know anything about hemp? I mean, I know it's... See, it's so hard because you know that it's a useful plant. It is useful. People use it for things.

But then you're also... It's the same way with marijuana, where if the pro pot legalizing people were just like hey this really is not nearly as harmful as alcohol it's it's pretty safe you know people don't do many dumb things on marijuana it's it's ridiculous for it to be illegal it'd be like yeah 100 totally agree but like when they take it really far and they're like actually it's like a miracle cure for this a miracle cure for that it does things that we can't figure out here and it's like well i mean okay maybe maybe some of that's true but let's let's keep it realistic because you're just giving opponents to your point of view footholds when you say things like that where they can be like actually you've been promised uh you know some some fucking cunt in the opium industry, in the pills industry.

And if you don't think that's the reason that marijuana is still illegal, then I got a bridge to sell you because that's exactly why it's still illegal. Because that's going to dip hard into pill sales when they legalize it because you'll be able to get much better, much safer, much less addiction propensity when you can just smoke weed or take a pill or some shit as opposed to these really dangerous pills. And so they don't want it legal. They absolutely don't. That's the big pushback is Big Pharma. But as far as hemp goes, who fucking cares?

Because Big Pharma has some pot-related patents too where they stand to make a lot of money. They do, but they don't selectively own those patents the way they do on things like uh vicodin or oxycontin and what they'll do is they'll like the same way it worked for epi pens is they'll have contracts with the government to say all right the only uh pill of this style that you can use in the u.s is fucking percocet and so i'm sorry oh there's a way cheaper one made in Canada? Sorry, we have a contract with the government.

It's not available here. You have to pay a higher price for our pill. And so that artificially raises our medical costs greatly. Medical marijuana gets more people off of pills. It's shown that I'll have to take some time and pull it up. But people who were previously on pills and had problems with it, when they come back for pain relief or something, use marijuana or THC, they don't get addicted.

They still get the pain relief or almost as much as you would. It's not nearly as powerful as opiates. I feel like they don't solve the same problems, right? Like marijuana and opioids, right? They both deal with pain relief. I'm out of my depth. I'm not prepared to talk about pot. I just thought pot was an anti-inflammatory

and it gets you high. I could be so wrong. I'm saying what I've heard from a friend of mine who's really into pot and all the legality of it and everything. He's a big pothead, and he's still of the opinion of like, we really need to, on the pro-pot pot thing make sure that we stop overextending our hand i'm like oh that actually kind of makes some sense so who knows there's probably some potheads in our audience who are like taylor you're a total idiot and you're wrong and you might be right guys

i feel like hemp has done that to some extent now i know hemp is not pot but they've kind of been like, man, if hemp was legal, we'd all be worried. Really scratchy shirts. It's like, it's almost like this hemp plant. It does a lot of things way better than we could have done with raw materials 400 years ago. But you know, we've, we've kind of figured that out.

We got over the mixing fabrics and now like polyester and cotton is a little better than hemp. Wasn't the constitution. Isn't the constitution written on hemp paper? it's written on on just a bunch of joints taped together it's straight up it's a bunch of doobies and blunts dude washington you don't know this he smoked up to up to 10 grams of marijuana a day it was not written on hemp paper i know but the other things i said weren't true either. It was written on parchment, which is treated animal skin, typically sheepskin.

Yeah, that's an urban legend, I guess. I remember I had a friend in high school who would make a to-do when we were out at parties or something. And he was like, I'm going to smoke some weed. You want some? I was like, nah, you do you. And he would take out a Bible and rip a page out and roll joints on Bible paper. And I would be like, Old Testament or new? Old.

Oh, OK. Well, both. Mix of both. No! He smoked what he was feeling. And he would do that. And part of me is like, number one, there's ink on those pages. That can't be good for you.

Number two, I'm not religious, but if there is a god, whoo. No. Aren't rolling papers special in the way they respond? You lick them and they stick or something? I've never heard of that. It was just because of... So the rolling papers they use for marijuana is the same as the papers they use to make cigarettes it's just like thin rolling paper

like europeans roll their own cigarettes that's a thing right yep yeah yeah they roll their own cigarettes they've always got papers on them well they're they've got they've got gum on them that uh there's a strip of sticky shit you know on rolling paper i was gonna say like like a stamp i've never rolled a joint before but i would guess rolling papers are the ideal thing to roll it from if i were to take a page from a book like how would that work why would he even say together 16 year old and the reason it worked is because bible pages are so thin like they're almost translucent they're so thin and so that worked well i i know it works because i watched him smoke joints i like to think it was gilded and slightly poisonous

i just love that you know fake rose gold hit in the back of my throat i've heard uh snoop dog talk about like like that's one of his biggest regrets is at some point he didn't have any rolling papers and he used pages from a Bible. And he's like, I feel bad about that, Stu. That was fucked up. That is fucked up. Jesus. Yeah, I'm not religious at all and it still seems disrespectful. Part of me is like, you know, it's just a book.

But then if you use the Koran or the Torah, I think it's called the Torah, I wouldn't feel good about that either. Come on, man. The Book of Lies it is! There's a lot of paper around. Can't you just strong-arm robbery some swishers and get the tobacco out? At least do it with the Book of

Mormon. Or even if a Mormon saw you, it's like, hey, buddy, I don't care for this but you do you i love you i care about you i care about your family i'll do whatever is needed and i made a casserole for you like that's what a mormon would do joseph smith will strike you dead okay you know that's a yeah i bet you know that's a real thing though that jesus says you will know a tree by its fruits and if you look at the mormon church who is kinder on a more like regular basis than mormons like who donates more per capita i know like protestant christians and the evangelicals

and shit like they donate a ton of fucking money but like mormons for how relatively small of a group they are even though they're growing faster than any other religious group in this country because they all have 10 kids. They're just nice, kind people. I would have thought all of it was a meme until I moved out there and was like, wow, these people are just kind.

They don't want to be called Mormons anymore. Yeah, they prefer the Church of Latter-day Saints, but they're pretty stuck with Mormonism. I found it really interesting. I watched The Expanse this week. And it seems that the only... I watched it all.

And it seems that the only surviving religion is LDS. And in the future, they have the money, apparently, to build the largest spacecraft ever created. It's like two kilometers long and half a kilometer wide cylinder. And it crashes because the driver's not allowed to drink coffee. And they want to go on this hundred year journey to another solar system. It's pretty nuts. And they've got the Angel Gabriel or whatever on this giant golden spire that sticks out the front of it blowing his horn.

It's pretty cool. It'd be funny to see like the Mormon planning for it where it's like, all right, we built a ship that holds 3,000 people. We're going to be on there 100 years though, so a lot of offspring, so we're allowing nine people. How do you like the expanse?

I've been picking that for a while. Yeah. Right out of the gate, they establish a universe that sucked me in you know the the belters the martians and the earthlings and them as kind of rival factions and the way that it played out yeah it's uh it's pretty interesting um i like i like i'm fine with the special effects They're fine I'll tell you what, the weakest thing in that show Is the main actor I feel like he's just Poorly written or poorly acted

Or maybe a bit of both He doesn't inspire me a bit All the other characters are very interesting The muscle bound guy Who just kind of does what the lady says The muscle bound guy is not quite muscle-bound enough for me, but I still like it. Did you see him with that shirt? I thought he...

I guess I'm just wanting him to be... Tell you what, half of the Avengers could beat that guy in arm wrestling. You got... And keep in mind, they're in a world where, like, everybody's quite the weakling, right? Out there on the belt. And then you've got this guy, who's like six feet tall, 200 pounds of just solid muscle.

And when he takes his shirt off, he's all cut up. He's very muscular. He's not a bot. The guy that plays Thor beats the crap out of him. The guy that plays Captain America easily beats the... I disagree. Okay. I don't know.

See if you can find a picture of him shirtless. I can't... I'm going to just Google strong guy from Expanse. That's exactly what I was Googling. Strong guy, shirtless like like I can't I'm gonna google strong guy from expand exactly wrong guy shirtless he's pretty jacked dude and I mean the main guy is pretty jacked but but this guy is is yeah here we go almost Burton is that his name let's see I hope this link works. Come on, load up. Maybe I can get a direct link. Open image in your tab.

Yeah, there we go. Did you find a good picture of him shirtless? Yeah, I got the exact one I was thinking of. This guy's pretty fucking jacked. Especially in the universe of people in which he exists. They all exist in .7 G's. And like when they go to earth,

they can barely walk. Look, he's already, he's got two bullet wounds at this point. He's undoubtedly pretty jacked. Like, I mean, he's like top 1%,

I guess. And then, but when I look at him, I still see like, I don't know. I bet someone from your high school is stronger than that. Uh, how tall is he?

Six feet. He doesn't tower over the other characters. He's strong. One of the things that makes him tough is that he's kind of fearless. I feel like he doesn't place a really high value on his own life. He's killed a lot of people. He's killed a lot of people, so he's not like a hesitation kind of guy. He's just really badass badass unafraid skilled with weapons etc but in terms of like whether he fits the role that he's supposed

to be i feel like he's on the lower end of acceptable he's just a regular person i am not a very good actor no he's good he's one of my favorite parts he's excellent in his role as like tough guy who follows orders the um the the girl the the black girl love her she's she's very good very well acted the um the i think maybe he's arabic but he speaks with like a texas accent and fly and flies the plane around and he's always talking to the the spacecraft like it's a lovely lady. Come on, baby. We can make it through this nebula. Come on. I can do it.

He sounds like that a little bit. I love him. He is very good. But the main guy is this vanilla kind of white dude who just doesn't stick out. And he's the main guy. Meanwhile, the badass cop from the space station that that guy's played by a fucking legit actor like i can't think of that actor's name but he's the guy who played like the punisher originally and he was in the mist like like he's a well-known actor and he's

excellent he's great at his role and the guy who plays like um the the one who the black guy who runs that space station also a very good actor he was he was in that hbo series the wire he was the guy who gets out of jail and he used to i really love that kyle doesn't know their names either like we're together on this one in these yeah i don't know the act i don't know the actor's name sometimes you do but i want to jump in the main character to me it's not that he's a bad actor it's that he's poorly written the the main character this is like the the lead white dude spaceship guy he's always having these like existential crises he's poorly written the the main character this is like the the lead white dude spaceship guy he's always having these like existential crises he's not sure if he's doing right or wrong he's a little like he's has some indecision and self-doubt in him and i get that and i experience

that like i i see it but it's not what i'm looking for from the guy in that role the guy in that role should be a little more sure of himself. He should be a little brave. He should be attacking these problems with the certainty and force of convictions of his actions. He should have a mission. And instead, he's always uncertain and scared and dealing with his emotions. I'm okay with that because he's being thrown into this position that he's in. He was the guy who was shirking any kind of responsibility to begin with.

He didn't want to be the XO of the original ship they were on and everything. The series as a whole, though, it really goes into fast-forward mode, which is a good thing, in season two. Like, shit starts happening, and that's great. And the reason for that, I've learned, is that they knew that the axe was coming, that they were going to be cancelled. There is no season three.

Maybe you're right. Season three will be coming from Amazon, who bought the property. But in season two, they knew that the axe was coming. So they really go fast forward mode, and they start getting shit done, and really progressing the plot. And big shit starts happening. I would say like global shit but it's bigger than the globe it's you know it's it's solar system wide shit starts happening and occurring it's

really cool um i i like the story i like uh i i really liked that uh the girl who's a martian marine um she is thick as fuck she is oh my god season three you're thinking of is that possible there's a season three yeah why is it not available on uh where was i watching this that's possible but i've seen all three seasons I have more expanse yeah the last thing I saw they had fought off the humanoid protomolecule on Mars

well they fought it on Mars and then it got aboard the ship and then they got it off the ship and then you learn that that Fred guy who runs the space station also has the protomolecule now the girl gives him who runs the space station also has the proto molecule now the girl gives him the speech she's like earth has the proto molecule mars has it the belt needs it too and and then they show like the black guy like removing the proto molecule from the missile

that i think that's the end of season two right yeah that's right yeah you haven't seen holy shit i got more yes yes that's what i'm doing this is three. Holy shit, I got more! Yes! Yes! That's what I'm doing tonight! This is totally not a spoiler, but this is what they say about season three. I'll read it to everyone. Rotten Tomatoes this season has a score of 100% with an average rating of 8.75 out of 10. It builds on their earlier success

and continues to impress with no signs of abating. See? Spoiler free. Yeah, let me see. Where do I watch that. I'm glad I found this. I'm glad we discussed this because I got to the end of season two on maybe Amazon Prime.

Maybe that's where it is. Amazon again. And I was like, oh man, I bet I've got to wait an entire year before there's more of this. Nope. Non-thriller set 200 years in the future roseneck the rose rosinante crew deals with the fallout over naomi's betrayal yeah yeah holy shit that's badass all

right i gotta rent it but whatever i'll buy the season tonight 30 bucks cool um well i've only seen two seasons of it and i am definitely sold on the series it's very good i'd say it's a solid seven out of ten like and a ten for me is like game of thrones and the wire and uh and and so seven is for like most really good shows fall for me like i felt like vikings is a seven i feel like really like the sopranos is it better than game of thrones to you no it's a okay and it's it's it hasn't aged all that well. And I've seen all of Sopranos probably four, maybe five times.

Definitely seen some episodes five or six times. Why would you say it hasn't aged well? Some of the fight scenes are... All of the fight scenes are kind of hard to watch. When you watch the violence that's being done, they're very poorly choreographed.

The sound effects that are used can come off a bit cheesy if you really pay attention. And that's not good in a show where the way you're sold on certain characters being the tough guy or the intimidator is their physical prowess and what they will do to you if. Can I jump in you know i find that to be true with a lot of mob movies like that for some reason mobsters don't have to

look really badass right joe pesci is a tough guy in mob movies i could beat up joe pesci that's like five foot nothing uh oftentimes there's a tough guy in the mob who is 300 pounds overweight, right? And you know in real life that guy can't be that imposing, right? He would just be exhausted immediately. And a lot of mobsters who are tough are also old, like over 55, over 60. And you're just like, man, are you telling me that guy hasn't lost a step? He must have. I'm talking about something a little different than that, though,

because often I get what you're saying, and I agree with it 100%, but the thing that makes Paulie Walnut scary isn't that we can step into a ring and he's going to outbox me or he's going to outgrapple me on the ground at 60, whatever he was toward the end. It's that Paulie's going to show up with two things, three that Pauly's going to show up with two things.

Three things. Pauly's going to show up with a buddy. Pauly's going to show up with a pipe. And Pauly's going to show up with a 1911. His buddy's going to be watching him while he breaks your kneecap with that pipe because that's his first move. He doesn't talk to you.

I'm thinking of a specific scene. He walks up to the guy, immediately breaks his knee with the pipe. The guy's on the ground crying. Then he pulls the pistol out and puts it in his face and says look i'm gonna i get 5 000 a week every week and if tony ever hears about this i'm gonna fucking come back here and i'm gonna fucking shove this up your ass that guy in lawn care he did it too no that's it that's a different guy he was actually friends with that guy he liked that guy all right i'm it's it's um it's a different guy. He was actually friends with that guy. He liked that guy. It's a bit boring to go into, but it was basically the son of the guy who owned the garbage business

that was Tony's tax return. That's how he was falsifying his income to make it look legit. And the guy who owned the business dies, leaves it to the son. The son wants to sell. Tony's in the hospital from his own shooting, so he can't really oversee the matter properly and outside of tony's supervision the son sells the business and so paulie goes to that guy and and roughs him up and like cuts himself into his own deal and it's paulie's scary because of that because paulie doesn't seem to doesn't mind doing murder and extreme violence. That's a typical mob thing too. In movies.

I don't know real life. But in movies a lot of times it's like well this guy might not look badass. Maybe half of the guys in your high school could beat him up. But they go from 0 to 100 instantly. They start off with a pen in their hand that they stick in your eye. And that's their opening volley. That's why they're intimidating.

Yeah. Where most people's opening volley is a two handed push to the chest. Yeah. And yeah and he's backed up right it doesn't matter if you get through him if you were to beat up paulie that would be the worst thing you could possibly do because now like other guys are coming and they're not they're gonna really mean business when they show up they're going to kill you when they get there or they're gonna cripple you you know it's like the collective nature of the violence that makes it scary where it's like yeah you might win this one fight with a fucking pen sticking out of your throat but you know joey two hands and you know Taylor one nose. Yeah, Frankie Fingers. You know, he fucking, he's got all of them so far.

It's absolutely no different than dealing with a police officer. We've all seen a police officer we can beat up. But how's that going to end for you? The women ones. Like if you beat up this lady cop who's writing you the ticket, do you think that's, all Alright, no ticket for me. No. You're going to get more tickets.

That happened in Raleigh recently. Did we watch the video together? I think we might have. It was a big, strong guy. Oh, yeah. There were two women and two men there. The first man didn't beat him, but that's going to happen sometimes. It took two guys, but it looked like he fought off

four people because two of them were girls. And it had sticks. They were hitting him full on with those batons and he was absorbing it. He was a badass. He shot him with a taser too. He's probably on CP or something. Whenever you see someone taking a taser, it's because it didn't work.

Nobody absorbs a taser because it's not a matter of like... Can it work partially? Is that a thing? Yeah, it can work partially. You can have a clothing disconnect where one of the barbs maybe goes through your shirt and sticks in your flesh, in your chest, and the other one just penetrates your pants leg. And so it's arcing from the inside of your pants leg to your leg. Like there's an arc there.

But if both barbs are in you, no one can resist that. Like it doesn't matter if they're on some drug. It doesn't matter if they're really muscular. That's actually worse. If you're the bigger and more muscular you are, the more effective the taser is against you. The other thing I've heard, though, is a thing about a taser is the second it turns off, you're okay again. Whereas pepper spray, for example, the second I stop spraying, you still have a problem. You've got pepper spray all over you.

You can fight through the pepper spray. You might be blind doing it, but you can absolutely battle through it. The thing about the taser, you just pull the trigger again. If it's still in yeah yeah but it's rare that they actually get it it's weird and hard to like get it there's so much like loose slack that you might grab it and pull and your arm length isn't even enough to like get it out of you you have to get the barb out and it's like a spider web almost like there's just so much yeah yeah when i tell you jeremy uh we there was a clothing disconnect so he wasn't but still it rippled his ass and he was crying afterwards you know he was he was all teared teared up and a little upset because he didn't know i was going to hit him that second time but my adrenaline was going so much in that

moment that five seconds from the first volley felt like one second. I was like, this is terrible. We got no footage here. I felt like one second of video. I got to hit him again. And so I gave him a 10-second ride, which is just brutal. Just brutal. He got paid.

But yeah, the Expanse, coming full circle. Totally recommend the Expanse. I really enjoyed it. i really enjoyed i love the proto molecule and everything that is i i i'm not quite sure if the proto molecule molecule originated from uh is extra solar as in it came from somewhere else or if those scientists created it i think i heard a scientist say that they made it but i'm not sure about that um you'll learn more next season and another sort of non-spoiler next season the strong character i like him even most in season three so far yeah i want to find a picture of the um the martian marine girl um yeah i find that she was poorly cast oh you wrong about that! Really? Can we find a picture of

her for people? Kyle seems to have a strong opinion on this one. I don't know if you're going to sway him. Can you link it, Kyle? She's a real Amazonian type lady. She is thick as fuck. So this is one of those universes in which women are just as tough as men.

So you just accept that. It's Hollywood. And she doesn't come off that tough to me she she looks a little fat to be quite honest and she's supposed to be like a real badass but i'm not seeing it i'm looking for a picture for the audience um here's it's honestly so much harder to suspend disbelief for like badass women fighters than it is for like wizards and warlocks because it's like yeah i can imagine a wizard that's like totally ridiculous it's like well but it seems like in this world women are the same as women in our world and they're weak as fuck like yeah i well the thing about her is she's in this power first of all she's like super well

trained or whatever but she's in power armor right so so like she can the armor is doing most you imagine a bigger waste of space army funds than giving a power suit to a woman no i don't agree because it would why it would make they're stronger than you've got limited power suits i would think but why what difference would it make if they were male or female if they're in like a super suit? If it gives you like 50% bonus or whatever That's what I love. She has enough strength to grab a full-grown man and like neck raise him in the air with one hand Or like a robot suit-ish Yeah, yeah. Power armor. Where it's like nanobots and things.

It's called, they call it power armor. She literally swats grown men like through the air with she's like a superhero wearing this thing if i had a an armani suit that when i put it on i could beat the shit out of brock lesnar am i a badass or do i have a cool suit look scroll down on the um page that kyle linked there and you'll see her arm wrestling tell me she's not kind of miscast right like that that's she's not she doesn't even look like she's discernible bicep there right? She's not... She doesn't even look like she lifts. There's not even a discernible bicep there. Right? That's a normal woman's arm. There's no back muscle in there.

That's not even a... By Hollywood standards, that's not even fit. I'm all about this. You're all about it? Let me just find the actress's name and try to get off of, um, let me see actress.

If you scroll down again and you look at her figure, it's just not even hot. I am all about this chick. Let me know. I'm coming down on Woody's side with this. She's not. Are you seeing her looking at the bald guy? Uh,

she, she just doesn't look very attractive. I looked at all the pictures in that article. Yeah. She's not very good looking. Are you saying we're looking at the bald guy? She just doesn't look very attractive. I looked at all the pictures in that article. I wasn't impressed. She's not a beauty. What do you like so much about her? I haven't seen the show, so you must like her acting and character development and stuff like that, and that's spilling over

into liking her. I think she's sexy in her own kind of way. I think she looks really good in her like tight spandex space suit. Uh, when she's not in the power armor, I think she's got like a big ass and like big titties and, and like a thick midsection.

And she's big ass thing is kind of neat. So I'm down for a big ass as much as the next guy. Right. Like it, but a banging ass is, uh, I was listening to Roggan say this i don't mean to steal his thoughts but that's a new phenomenon like in the 80s when they talked about christy brinkley then no one looked at her banging ass they just wanted like a flat tummy and some

well-developed boobs and a pretty girl and you were set right that was what hot was now if you want to talk about who's hot like whether it be an actress or a model or whatever they have to have a banging ass and and it's an it's the thing that wasn't always the case beauty standards have changed in my lifetime i always thought it happened faster or slower than that i mean to say yeah i really don't think she's she's that attractive kyle yeah i mean i don't think she's that attractive, Kyle. Yeah. I mean, I don't think she's a beauty, like I said.

I'm not even seeing a banging ass in this picture. Yeah, that's why I linked this one. I was confused what you were saying. Maybe those jeans are just real tight. Yeah, they might not be flattering. Put her in some yoga pants, and you can probably make something out of that. You can probably make something out of it. Who knows?

If not, toss her in the trash. Yeah. I like it a lot. I like watching her in the show. It's a good show. It's a good show. Lots of really strong acting performances all the way around. I love the world that they've created.

I look forward to that world expanding when Amazon picks it up. I look forward to titties and ass that'll surely come along with Amazon. And I heard some F-bombs in season two, which surprised me, because I thought this was a sci-fi show. Well, I will not be tuning in. I don't know how that works. But yeah, The Expanse is a good sci-fi TV

show. There aren't a whole lot of them. I don't think it's Battlestar Galactica level. Battlestar Galactica is, in my opinion, the greatest fucking sci-fi TV show that there's been. I think it's better than Star Trek and I'm a massive Star Trek fan. Battlestar Galactica is excellent.

Especially like the first two, three seasons. Something like that. And you want to talk about hot chicks in a show, there are some smoking hot chicks in Battlestar Galactica. If that show had been on HBO and we'd gotten to see that blonde... I mean, I've found the pictures of the blonde chick naked.

But if I'd gotten to see her in the show playing the character naked, that would have meant a lot more to me. But Battlestar Galactica is amazing. Expanse is not that, but it is very good, and I liked it a lot. And I'll be watching season three tonight.

I'm glad that we had this talk. In news that's relevant to me, I checked the Blues game when we started, because I missed one to be here, obviously. Two to nothing at the end of the first, favoring the Blues. That's good news. Check back in, a nice 7-4 loss.

So that's fun. Well, I know before the show show started i mentioned there were three teams doing worse than them i wonder if that's still true uh it's probably two now unless i'd have to check i don't know if one of them won tonight like like oh so fucking ridiculous all right they're gonna i hope they fire our coach my team's not being good the flyers are four and six right now. They just lost again tonight. The Hurricanes, we were all excited about their 3-0 start.

They started out well. They're like 3-4 now. Oh, really? It's bad. I'll double check. They're actually 5-3. That's good. But they did start off like 3-0.

It's been quite the fall. Oh, no, you're right. Dallas won tonight. So we are now in only two teams below us, the LA Kings and the Arizona Coyotes. Taylor did not give me the response I was looking for, though. I was like, Taylor, does it make you feel good dripping with sarcasm that there's three teams worse? He's like, ah, it's early. This is not my first start of a blue season.

No, I'll joke about it every time they suck but like at no point do i expect them to do well like genuinely like every time i watch and they're like one of the good teams like 25 years in a row they won president's cups yeah and they still can't get the job done so it's like you know if they if they're not going to get it done in that quarter century they're not about to get it done now so we'll see but like there's so much parody in hockey compared to the sports though season though like if you win the president's cup and get a round or two deep i mean it's not what you were hoping for you want a stanley cup well we won the president's cup we lost in the first round to the eighth seed san jose sharks in 2000 scott shields was their goalie i remember sitting in front of the boob tube glass

tv watching as we lost our best season in history and even sitting there i'm like we have but we have like chris pronger and al mckinnis and pavel dimitra and all and we like it was like a moment where i was like we weren't supposed to lose dad it's like that me wasn't the hockey subreddit the one guy wanted to do the playoffs again because come on you know what I'm talking about I don't know if you can quote it I think the Blackhawks lost and they maybe won the two previous cups

and he was just like you know they're a good team and all but I really feel like this didn't come out right and we should play again we should redo it and now Chicago's doing better than us this year which isn't surprising it's funny every year up until now it's doing better than us this year, which isn't surprising. It's funny. Every year up until now, it's been like, man, our defense is fucking one of the best in the league. We just can't score enough goals.

And now we're potting plenty of goals. And it's like, ah, it's crazy how in the last three months our defense became terrible. Odd, because it's mostly the same people. But four years older. Yeah, but it's frustrating. Oh, well. How's Georgia doing? Have they lost any more?

I don't know. I read that. I was looking. If Georgia wins out, they have still a 22% chance of making the playoffs. They're in a real bad spot. And to win out in the SEC would probably involve championship. They'd still miss it. Georgia's only lost one to LSU.

Something about them not having a chance to avenge it. There's a playoff system. They could definitely get a new playoffs. In the AP rankings, not even one person voted for a team other than Alabama to be number one.

Not a single person. Yeah. You know, they could still lose. They're not going to lose. Really? You think they're so dominant that it's a foregone conclusion they'll be national champions? Oh, yeah.

That's not how college football works. For most teams, you're right. For Alabama, they are so fucking good They're going to stomp LSU So I get every other team for the rest of the year And you get Alabama Yeah you have to give me X to 1 odds

Where X is the number of teams That you Including D2 schools like hundreds and hundreds well we put up four dollars and it looks like i owe you seven thousand in retrospect taylor this is a bad bet for me if uh yeah they're gonna win out unless uh lsu does something about it lsu of course beat georgia lsu ranked number four in the country that's their biggest challenge then they then it's fucking Mississippi State, Citadel, and Auburn. And Auburn's not a bad school, but Citadel and Mississippi State are.

So LSU is really the only hurdle, it seems, to prevent them. Yeah, Auburn's not nearly as good as they were last year. Nope. Still a good school. Still a well-coached school. We'll see. Isn't the World series happening right now yeah Dodgers and Red Sox

Red Sox ripped two games to none last time I checked don't really care do you have any preference on who wins at all yeah Red Sox

you would rather the Red Sox win yeah why I just have more allegiance to them. I've watched more of their games. I remember maybe in 2004 when there was that crazy miracle game

where, what was the guy they called Big Poppy? David Ortiz. When Ortiz hit, like, I don't know how many RBIs to keep them in that game, and then they ended up winning it and going to the series. It was really impressive. It was a fucking miracle. It was cool to watch. And I don't give a shit about the Dodgers.

Yeah, I don't know shit about the Dodgers. I don't know shit about any team in baseball. God, this is it. I didn't know the World Series had started yet until yesterday. Really? Or maybe it was this morning. I was like, isn't the World Series on to someone? I don't watch baseball at all.

I can't remember the last time I watched a game of baseball. It's just so fucking boring. I don't watch it either, but there's news organizations and the radio. Yeah, sometimes I click on it and see if the Phillies have a chance at making the playoffs, and then when they don't, I stop watching or even reading about baseball.

What's Carolina's baseball team? Do they have one? They don't i stop watching or even reading about baseball what's carolina's baseball team do they have one they don't have the braves kind of own the south as far as baseball goes we have the um the durham bulls locally which is a minor league team it's a movie um so they're a thing yeah kevin costner yeah kevin costner yeah and Yeah, Kevin Costner. Yeah, Bull Durham, right? Kevin Costner, Susan Sarandon, and what's his name? That other guy. The guy from Shawshank Redemption. Tim Robbins? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bet you've seen it and maybe just don't remember it.

One of the best baseball movies ever made. How about that one where the guy builds a field so they'll come? That's Field of Dreams. Also Kevin Costner. As you might imagine, Kevin Costner is a big baseball fan in real life. I like the one where he says clear the mechanism. Clear the mechanism? I don't even know that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Bull Durham, right? No. He plays an older baseball player who's trying to get one more season out of himself. I think he cut his hand at one point in in the movie and like sort of really kept score on who thought he was over and it has been because of the injury and who thought he was going to return and uh there's a scene in it where like someone's like you're having a perfect game and he's like yeah but i'm done

he's like no all the boys are here for you. One more time. It's inspiring. I like that movie. For love of the game. Wasn't that weird how at the end of Angel in the Outfields that that black coach just adopted those two kids? Yeah, y'all gonna be with me now.

Remember that? Yeah. I just remember Christopher Lloyd fucking cheating their way to a pennant. Yeah, they did cheat. They didn't deserve that pennant. And so the father at the end was right to drive away on his motorcycle

because his son was a liar and a cheater. And he didn't tell his dad so his dad could put some good money on the game. Bastard. What was the movie where the woman from Speed adopted an enormous black person so their football team would do well? Yeah, yeah.

That seems a little racist, doesn't it? It's like, hey, I'm going to adopt you, and you can keep playing football, but I need a few things done around the house. It's just an elaborate ruse for her to get slave labor. She's playing it off like she's the good guy. Hey, I adopted this giant black man who happens to enjoy yard work at my home. It's called the blind side. You planted a cotton field, Susan.

He loves it! Look at him go! It's like he was made for it. Man, that would be... Movies would be funnier if they took terrible twists at the end like that. He runs the 40 in three seconds flat, but you could see him!

You know how many pounds of cotton he can get in an hour? Woo! We understand you adopted him. Why do you make him live in a shed out back? He prefers it! Yeah. Oh, I'm itching as shit. Right? Post rolls?

Ah! I think there might be two. Yeah, definitely a couple here. Support for today's show comes from Fallout 76, Bethesda Game Studios, the award-winning creators of Skyrim and Fallout 4, welcome you to Fallout 76, the online prequel where every surviving human is a real person. Work together or not to survive.

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all the pre-rolls, but I'm going to scroll up so that I don't fuck up. You wouldn't want to fuck up. You are the lord of your god. I'm not to. The lord my god. I am. Oh god. Time. I hope you're going to be hanging on to that thing later on tonight.

Oh I will. Yeah I think that's all of them. So yeah check out all of our wonderful sponsors. Of course Smart Mouth is one that's close and dear to our hearts. Be sure to use that link that comes with Smart Mouth. Go on to Amazon. Use our code. Very important.

Very good. Every time you guys use that code, I get a free bottle of Smart Mouth. I have thousands of them. PKA 410.