Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #413

Episode Date: November 22, 2018

On this week's PKA, everyone's favorite token Canadian Jewish man, Harley Morenstein is back! And he shares with the guys the delight of the game "Mansions of Madness", right after he jumps into the guys staring at some HUGE silicone filled nutsacks on very huge and strong gentlemen and of course the guys update everyone on where things are in the fitness competition. 

Hell yeah. Painkiller already, episode 413. Our guest Harley will be coming in the middle of the show at some point. Kyle? A few sponsors tonight. Morning Recovery Drink, Get Quip, Stitch Fix, Audible, and eBay. I believe Taylor and I will be getting some eBay kits here pretty soon, so we'll be able to stop using those inferior products.

Chiz said that he got an eBay kit a while back, and it is much better than what Taylor and I have been using and I wanted an A-Bay kit I was excited to get one but I hadn't received one yet and Chiz spoke to them built a nice relationship with them and I believe that they obviously have come back and I'm hoping those kits come to Taylor and I

so that we can use those on the show A-Bay is the filet mignon where what we've been using is like ground chuck. And so we're ready for a huge upgrade here. So we're very excited for that. So I can tell you guys are both beaming with energy right now. You guys, you seem so upbeat.

You didn't spend the half hour before the show bitching. You definitely didn't do that. You seem just to be alive with the sound of music. That's great. I'm so happy this is going well for you guys. Staying fit.

Just being happy. I feel fit. I will say that. Do you? I feel like I've lost so much weight. I've lost so much weight. I'll wait a day. Eventually, I'll have a more accurate reading when water levels aren't fluctuating so wildly.

But I've lost pounds and pounds and pounds. It's hard to tell right now because of just the water weight. I feel like we're going to need to be a few weeks in before we can tell what fat has dropped. I haven't weighed in. I started increasing my caloric intake a week before the competition because I'm serious like that. I did 10 days because I'm more serious. I did about 15 years because i really meant business kyle can you lay out what happened yesterday and i want to reply with what happened in my day

yeah um this this is this is going to be a good little segment here so stick around even a fitness talk might not be your thing so i had to help a friend move yesterday and i had to i'd agreed to do it it's going to take all day at least and so i got up at like four in the morning or something maybe it's a little fuzzy but roughly four four thirty in the morning i put my uh my belt on and uh and i was like you know what not even gonna fuck around with my phone like staring at my heart rate all day that's gonna slow me down turn the off. Went to work moving boxes. There's a lot of shit to move. I think it took roughly nine hours of moving and I wasn't done. I did more moving today. So I did nine hours of moving. I got home at like, these are roundabout numbers, but let's just say 3 p.m after nine or ten hours of moving boxes and hustling around

and it was pitiful i had earned 707 maps not pitiful by the way that is good by most standards oh yeah anyone's standards but this competition that's good yeah not to shit on taylor or chis but neither one of them have earned 700 in a workout yet i did oh okay well to shit not to shit on chis but 700 is strenuous 700 is a really long hard workout even if you max everything out it's it's hours like two and a half three hours of full maximum burn so um i was very disappointed in this especially when i saw that wo Woody had done 956 that morning, all in a solid burn, what I call the yellow river, because he just gets into yellow and he stayed there for like three or four hours, something like that, something horrible.

And so at 4 p.m., I started running. And I didn't stop running for a long time. It was maybe 9.30, 10 p.m., maybe five, six hours of running. And I didn't stop running for a long time. It was maybe 9.30, 10 p.m., maybe five, six hours of running. And I was thinking like, well, I've already made up that little bit of ground that Woody had picked up this morning. You know, that 250 is long gone. I was at like 500 meps or something like that, maybe a little more. And so I checked the app to see what woody was up to you texted me and said congratulations on your workout or something this was i'll get to that okay because that's that's after your workout had ended yeah so but but i look and i see when your workout is about halfway

through and i'm like motherfucker is going again He's like two and a half hours in. And so I start running all yellow again. I was just about to quit. But I was like, he's going Yellow River again. I got a fucking burn. So I start running again. I'm running hard again, going and going and going. And an hour went by and I checked and he's still going.

And so I went back to running and an hour went back by and I looked and he was still fucking going. And I went back to running, and an hour went by, and I looked, and he was still fucking going. And I could see up-to-the-minute updates. So it's not that he quit 20 minutes ago, and it just hasn't updated. No, he was going two minutes ago, hard as fuck. And so I'm just running, running, running, and finally, after five solid hours of burn, of solid yellow burn, with red streaks like every half hour those are accidents

of course yeah i don't mean that all of our reds are accidents yeah he finally quits at 1 227 meps in a single workout and so i'm feeling pretty defeated because i went into this day with like a 1900 18 or 1900 met lead over woody and i'm like well shit he's made up a good amount of that you know he's he's probably made up like 800 of it today and uh and i was thinking about quitting and i texted woody and let me pull up our text conversation i'm not going to reveal anything that you wouldn't want i don't think we said anything weird or anything you wouldn't want me to say. I said, great workout. Very impressive. He says, you have no idea. I'm cooling off now. I'm done. I said, I helped a girl move today. I got shitty maps. He goes, you got 1300 so far. That's a lot

because this was the end of my day i got 700 in the morning and i had earned an additional um 800 at this point and in a single workout and i said um i thought i started early and i'd be done and i'd get a real workout but it took all day uh i may be uh underplaying it a bit but basically i averaged gray all day and then i had to start jogging this evening what he goes i hit the bike i rested then i did it again the stationary bike i said i've been i've been running since i said i've been up awake since four or five a.m this is 10 p.m he goes i had a nap and i know what he means is he took a nap between his awful grueling workouts and i'm like i have more shit to move at 6 a.m you know in eight hours from now i have to get back to moving

boxes and woody goes good and that's when i decided the workout wasn't over that smiley face made me very upset and so i put all three pairs of my socks back on i put my rain hat back on and i went out into the fucking storm and i ran and i ran and i ran for six more hours my start of the story i ran for 10 hours with only breaks to make fucking sandwiches which were hastily made it was just bread and pimento cheese and iced water and i wanted good sandwiches oh they tasted so good because i was so goddamn hungry they were so good and and by the end of it i matched i i beat his workout for that evening but I was still like 300 meps behind because he had gotten that 956

earlier in the day to my 700 so today I moved boxes again for I don't know what it was, 8 more hours earned really shitty meps again and got like 300 more meps and so is that all you got today, 300 meps something? yeah, yeah

can I tell my side well by today i'm not counting all of the early morning stuff like like it you know last night is today yeah yeah it's thousands every day or it's it's well over a thousand every day that i've averaged it like like please please give your side of yesterday because i'm so curious so mine starts earlier than that it's the night before yesterday. This is a Tuesday. I have, I don't, I'm hesitant to call things a migraine, but I had a headache and I was sensitive to light and I was just kind of dreading my second workout. I've been doing two a days. My attitude has changed. If you watched this last week, I was Mr. Blue, right? I was kind of afraid

of being sore. It's rekindled an earlier version of me where I start workout sore and it's just like, yeah, fuck you and fuck your soreness. It'll wear off mid-workout. That's what happens. And I'm getting off topic. The night before, I had this migraine and I'm kind of like dreading my second session. Kyle offers a ceasefire, right? This is spinning back and forth in my head in a bunch

of different ways if he's offering a ceasefire perhaps the ceasefire is advantageous to him more so than me but i do literally have a migraine right now there's a ring light staring in my eyes that's killing me as he's offering this ceasefire i badly want it this might just be a win-win he might not be the Prince of Darkness offering me this disadvantageous deal. I think I added some soldiers. Exactly what it was. Exactly what it was. I didn't like the idea of getting MEPS on you when you had a migraine. And I was going to spend the evening with a friend. And I would have loved, I look forward to an evening of relaxation i hadn't had one all week so i knew

that he was with this friend and i invented in my head that perhaps the next day he would still be with that friend and that would hurt his ability to earn meps unbeknownst to me he was going to spend like fucking 16 hours moving boxes right i thought maybe they'd catch up on trailer park boys or something like that that's a a Kyle like activity, right? We, that's it. Yeah. So I'm like, I wake up in the morning having not done a two a day the day before.

I am 19 years old at this point and I am like, fucking yeah, let's, let's do this shit. Right. I hit it. I hit the yellow river and it's just a river of pain. I don't like it.

I don't, I, the whole time, Chael Sonnen's head is in my head. Two things happen. One, I'm either in a flow state where I'm kind of not thinking about anything. I'm halfway through Making of a Murderer Part 2. No idea what's happening. I can't keep up with it. I don't

know any of the things I watched. Did he do it or not? Nothing is getting absorbed. Here's what I can tell you about making a murderer part two his new attorney not that hot right that's what i picked up so far in like the five hours of content i've absorbed through that on just paint and the other thing that happens occasionally things rogan said and sun and said jill sun and has this thing it It's failure is an option, right? He's like, people tell you failure is not an option.

Failure is always an option. Failure is the most readily achievable option. It is right there seducing you the entire time. Anytime you want to fail, you can turn left or you can turn right. Just go left. It's there. It's there softly asking for you to come. And I just say no. I just say no. turn right. Just go left. It's there. It's there softly asking for you to come. And, uh, and I

just, I just say, no, I just say, no, I just like, yeah, it like, and it's not that I don't want to. It's that I, I, I know how I grade myself after I back out of something and it's, it's, it's not where you want to be. Right. It feels like a loss. It there's a challenge and I decide, no, I don't think so, then the future me will not approve of who you're being. You had a great tweet the other day where you were like, if you wanted it to be easy, you shouldn't have invited me. And then yesterday you poured out just a day where i i didn't want to troll you too hard but i'm like well woody has hired hussein bolt and he's in

carolina now clearly because like i and i was like from the outside looking in like i wasn't able to work out while i was checking your guys shit yesterday with all that and it was like first of all i could tell from the numbers updating i'm like like, Oh, Kyle must be getting frustrated. I did. And then my second thought was like, how the fuck is Woody doing this right now? It's not that bad. Like once you get into the yellow, maintaining yellow is achievable. You just have to not quit.

And, and sometimes I do like little micro quits or something. And then I see it turn green or get a stripe. And I'm just like, no, I don't see that. I see a little stripe of green but i'm i was thinking when does he piss oh no who's bringing him water i'm barely

pissing at all when i'm on the bike like i'm sweating it all out that piss could be a green the green stripe could be a piss it don't doesn't do much though i'm just just going just going oftentimes not thinking but sometimes thinking about quitting those are i i think about nothing or i think about quitting and i just keep going i see myself in that fucking mirror still right you look the same you know i i yeah it's way harder to get from like 50 percent to 80 plus percent than it is to just stay 80 plus like i think is what you're saying right yeah yeah once i hit 80 then like holding 80 is not that bad um just just don't quit just go uh it's not my heart like i don't feel my heart or my lungs or anything it's my quads really like quads and and sometimes i'll give my rest and i'll push with my hands on the bike it's like what are you

not cheating it's a heart rate competition you could push on your knees all you want right that's that's allowed and uh yeah and it's just been raining lately so all i've done is like indoor stationary bike shit and when i saw the when i just when i saw the rain clouds come i checked the doppler for north carolina when i saw that coming i thought it was a good thing for me. I was like, can't run now. What you gonna do? I didn't know there was a stationary bike in your daughter's car. I'm actually better at the bike. In terms of mental health, the bike is worse. It breaks me. But in terms of meps, it's better. I just have a flow on the bike. You should switch to a comedy show or something like you don't need to like absorb like a plot thing it's all wasted on me i i so i i was starting to say i

thought kyle yesterday was going to be hanging with this friend watching trailer park boys or something like that and like if you i used to be a competitive cyclist when I was younger and, uh, uh, you make a move, like you make your break, you time it. And yesterday was my move, right? Yesterday I thought I caught Kyle flat footed and just laid it down. And, uh, and then today, so yesterday I got over 2,000 Mets. Today, 50, 5-0. Does anyone even know what I got? Was it 50-something?

Yeah, let me pull it up because it's – Yeah, we should give the update to everybody as well, the actual score update. Hold off on that, but yeah, today you got 49. Today you got 49, and look, in your defense, I got 245. I got 570 today. Good for you, you're closing in on it. I'm closing in on Chiz, and that's the goal.

But the day before, I had like a 1,800 point lead going into yesterday. And Woody made that 1,800-point lead going into yesterday, and Woody made that 1,500 or something. Like 1,500 points. Yeah, he made it 1,500. He caught me by 300 points before I finally went to sleep, and then I made all that back up today,

and it's once again 1,809 is my current lead. Maybe mine hasn't updated. Dude, so today I barely worked out. All I did is I hit the bike for 15 minutes or so to loosen up, just get the blood flowing, hoping for a recovery day. Because when I worked out like an actual athlete, i didn't go two a days seven days a week like you had rest days that's how you did it rest days are are as important as the work day so that was the thought process but i couldn't fucking take it like i'm i'm feeling anxious

about jizz's original name for this was no fucks november right and it was the idea was you don't give a fuck about anything but this this domin dominates all your thoughts all day, all night, constantly. And I'm just like, yeah, I should be working. I should be doing something. I'm walking. If you can walk, you can bike. Fuck you, right? So I go out and I go to this restaurant and I'm all like fucking spastic, like barely in control of myself.

I spill my drink, right? I spill it across my table I spill my drink, right? I spill it across my, my table and, and the restaurant floor. Right. And I'm like, Oh my God, I don't know what's happened. Like I just, I can't, I'm fucking anxious and I'm not in my right mind because I haven't earned any MEPs at all. And it's like 3 PM or later. And the waiter comes over greatest guy. He's cleaning the table and he's like cleaning the floor i'm trying to explain to him that i'm just like a little out of sorts and i hit him i hit the waiter with my out of control arms and it just i was like i just i was like i think the

table's a little sticky and it made made me blink the menu into the drink, and as I'm miming it, I hit the waiter, and the waiter's like, Tony's rude. Tony's rude, right, Jeff? And the waiter's totally cool about it. I double-tipped him, and there's an Uber Eats guy there.

I don't know what he is. Do we have any sponsors along there i don't know what he is uh do we have any sponsors along i don't know but he's a he's a there's clearly a guy whose job is to like deliver food from a place that doesn't deliver food and uh he was being totally like everyone's being totally cool about it i feel like an ass i'm changing tables hitting waiters what was the what was the tap like was it one of those things where you accidentally like hit another man's genitals lightly? And you're like, ah, I know he noticed and I know I did and we'll never speak of it. Or was it like you hit him in the thigh or the belly?

I think it was either the collarbone neck type thing is where I hit him. And I hit him with the tips of my fingers. But it wasn't a light enough hit that we can both brush it off. It was like I just karate chopped this poor man because because i'm not really because your motor skills are just off yeah i i it's anxiety around earning meps and and i was kind of it was a rest day look i've come in and out of this quit zone a million times so don't put too much weight in that but like i'm kind of in this quit zone i come back i do 50 maps and i'm just like ah whatevs and i go to the pka subreddit i i didn't realize that i had a fan base on this thing. Have you guys been to the PKA subreddit? Like I've been popping in and I saw that as I, you know, like whatever.

I think I might have started in the first week was in fourth or third or something, but on the board. And, uh, but as I, I guess the tweets and stuff, I've been getting some traction and the subreddit was very motivating for me like i they're all calling me super boy but not pejoratively they're they're just they're cheering you on they really are and like even before the competition started there was like a one percent that was cheering me on uh just because they had my back. And I really did take some strength from that. But what I have now, thank you.

They're being super cool, and it's driving. The current scoreboard is Taylor has 4,519. What place is that? Fourth. Okay. Chiz has 5,034. Woody has 9,333. This is a weekend.

I think it's important to put this in context with Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan's winning score of 11,253. I have 10,896. I'm going to break Joe Rogan's record tomorrow. I was thinking about doing it today, but I had had four hours of sleep in the last 36 hours or something like that. And I got a nap in. So I'm going to crush Rogan's record tomorrow. in like the last 36 hours or something like that. And, and, and I, I got a nap in. Um, so,

so I'm going to crush Rogan's record tomorrow, but like I was telling you before the show, I've got bad news. I've got stuff coming up this month and I'm basically going to have about as much time as Taylor has in a day for the rest of this thing. I've got, my legal situation is finally wrapping up. So I've got to, I've got meetings with lawyers.

I've got, uh, like court appearances, like, like I've got meetings with lawyers. I've got court appearances. And when I do that, I've got to drive like an hour and a half one way. And then I'm there for six hours. And then it's an hour and a half back home. And it's just the whole day. And I can't be up the whole night before doing it. So I'm going to keep working out.

But I'm basically, I don't know how to say it, but giving you first place. And you've earned first place. That sounded bad. I don't want how to say it, but giving you first place. And you've earned first place. That sounded bad. I don't want to underplay what you've done because it's incredible. That workout you did yesterday was bonkers. But he's not going to stop. He's certainly not going to stop.

And there's no way I have enough time to continue to do this. A thousand meps a day is nuts. It's nuts. So many hours in a day to put to this it's so many hours like like if and and the way i've been doing this thing because i was looking at doing this thing for a month is i've been doing like lots of i don't know the average maybe green ish yellow or something like that but it'll be like blue green yellow yellow yellow yellow then cool down and then go again i'm sure i've been i've been working out for longer periods of time than woody but not nearly as intense because i felt like that was better at not breaking anything on my body because i've been getting i didn't i didn't tell woody because i wouldn't want to show any weakness

but i started getting nosebleeds on day four and And every time I blow my nose now, it's bloody. And every time I clean the boogers out of my nose, they're red and bloody. Did it start like mid-workout, like where you just started bleeding, or was it like you blew your nose and then it started bleeding? It started bleeding mid-workout. And it's just from breathing cold air through my nose, just breathing air-conditioned air. I'm breathing so much through my nose.

I hope that's what it is. And my feet are fucking covered in blisters. I showed you guys before the show. Yeah, do you want to show your foot again? So you have basically a whole board in your foot from all this activity. So that doesn't look bad. It really doesn't. But the camera's just not doing it justice.

Because what it is, there's a hole in the bottom of my big toe there that I filled up with super glue. Like, I just filled the blister hole up with super glue. And, like, there's two or three more blisters that, again, just don't show up very well. Filled up with super glue? What I've been doing is, like, rubbing them with rubbing alcohol. Like, every time I take my socks off. When I run, I run with three pairs of socks like one pair of running socks that are like what is that wool morano wool or something

like that a little wick away everything and then i take another pair and i put it i put it on backwards i take like the hole and i put it on my heel and then i take the rest of the sock and drape it up my achilles tendon and then i put a long sock that goes up to my like like mid calf on over that to hold it in place because the backs of both my achilles tendons are like i won't say bloody but like wounds they're like open wounds on the back of both my achilles tendons can you can you show that like is there like a like a divot in there because i know exactly what he knows too like skates skates do that to you on the back of the achilles area yeah i can yeah i don't have any so here's the deal my right knee when i skate like every 200 push or something will be like a little bit jammy you know like it just wasn't

smooth and uh dogs are barking now so the right knee is like a tiny bit worn but mostly i'm okay stationary bike doesn't break you. Yeah. I just makes your quads really sore, but even then, like my quads will get sore and my knees will be sore, but it's not the kind of pain where it's like, Oh man, I'm going to be injured soon. Like I don't have any calluses I didn't have before.

I don't have any blisters or anything. And even like, even on the stationary stationary bike like the first eight minutes i'll say of a workout you're like this is never gonna get better this sucks i finally hit the wall of it sucking the whole time and like 10 minutes after that you'll just be watching king of the hill and i'll be like you know what you were being a little bitch 10 minutes ago it's already gone now it's just it it goes from a little it it goes from soreness, and then 10 minutes later it gives way to profound boredom. Every so often. Have you guys watched Big Mouth?

No? Is that that cartoon? It's a Netflix cartoon. Pretty raunchy about kids and puberty. Pretty pedo. Oh, I've seen some of that. Well, anyway, there's a puberty monster in there. There's a fear monster, I think.

And it basically just represents the children's, like, inner dialogue. And there is a quit monster that comes to visit on the exercise bike every so often. On the skateboard? Not really. It's like, this is kind of fun. I think I'll just keep going until dinner time. You know, every lap, there's, like, different routes I can take around my neighborhood and the adjacent ones. And at this point, I have worked out how many meps I get from a different route.

And it's like, oh, I guess I'll just go around the big hill and I'll come back. That'll be 75 more than I have now. And then I'll come in and eat and it'll be fun. The exercise bike isn't like that at all. But it's more meps per hour and you can do it in the rain. Yeah. Anyway, I feel like Fitness Talk has maybe gone on too long. I don's i don't think so i think that was if anyone complains it's more funny because you guys are really frustrated right now like that's entertaining i'm sad i'm sad because like

i got the news today they're they're like you know this thing's coming to an end uh you know we need this is my lawyers literally we need to meet with you this day and that day we're going to discuss this and that and we're going to go over this and I'm just like how long will that take and they're like oh several hours it's an hour and a half drive to my lawyers as well my days are full for the rest basically the rest of this month into December when this thing will be done

you still got to push what I've been saying from the beginning is this it shouldn't be just about the MEPs the real winners are the ones who the day after this ends, you decide that you actually are going to include some cardio in your workout. I had a thought on that, by the way, because I feel like Chiz has not been getting the credit for winning that he deserves.

He's working his ass off. Chiz is working his ass off. Kyle has the most meps. I might have the most time in the yellow, but I think Chiz is enduring the most pain. For sure. Chiz has blisters and back pain and challenges that we don't. Chiz came into this less fit than any of the three of us. And I want to say, I was second least fit, and I still am.

I don't think anyone's debating this. Because I feel like, well kyle's got no excuses of course he's in the lead breaking world records meanwhile i'm not taking anything away from what he did especially yesterday but what he did yesterday was extra was super but if you combine yesterday and today it gets pretty human because i didn't do shit today i'm talking about yesterday i have a very harsh and you also need to remember the grading system is like joking about the jv athlete thing thing woody is legitimately a collegiate athlete yes like that sort of athleticism doesn't just pop up at that age and then just go away forever like those people stay athletic we talk about woody's calves they're not just for show all right my calves are a third the size

i've got i've got skinny legs i i i i i i i can't tell you how many miles i've ran but it's dozens and dozens there was one night where i ran 15 fucking miles in one night i don't know what i ran last night because there's no way to keep track of it because I just lapsed around the neighborhood. I have no idea. But one night, I ran six miles into town and back and then did three fucking more. It's absurd the amount of work. And he's still

not that far behind. Woody has been killing it. And I get that he's 45 years old. But he's not 85 years old and i'll and lead leading up this thing what what have we been doing i have been getting very good at call of duty woody bought a home gym six months ago and i've been pumping iron and working out hard and that paramotor thing is constant running with a backpack on like especially when it's

paragliding like it's running up and down hills i was worried about woody the whole time i just wouldn't want to say that publicly and i i recognize that kyle's circumstances are changing and that's good well it's not done yet i i yeah we were only one week in and uh i i might have won we'll see yeah you're killing it i'm blown away by how much effort you're putting in like none of your workouts are phoning it in. It's all, like, straight-up hard work. I actually, this week, I wore it twice. Like, Kyle's, like, heart rate, resting heart rate being so high.

Like, originally, I was like, I'm only going to wear this during workouts. And then I was like, what if your resting heart rate is fucked up? And so I wore it for, like, a whole day just to see. And my heart rate is not fucked up. I didn't earn anything. Yeah, oh, my gosh yeah so uh i weed whacked my yard for people who don't know my yard is 14.65 acres right it's work to weed whack my yard there's a horse fence on the outer edge uh i'm not saying it's a cardio workout

clearly it's not i'll reveal my mep number in a second but after you've weed whacked 14 acres you know you did something right like your body like it's just carrying a small motor around that's what it is 24 meps i burnt 24 meps and i was like that son of a bitch burned 254 meps doing painkiller already and i burnt 24 meps weed whacking my 14 acre yard i get excited on this show i love this we all get excited and we all get jittery there's nobody is as excited as me though and i can prove it like i've worn the thing like when i'm just like watching youtube or like on on uh discord like playing call of duty no maps none like like literally what you got on pka but when on pka i'm

just tense i'm jittery i'm i'm fucking moving around i'm i i'm fucking engaged i got a couple yesterday coffees in you in the middle of the day i did rest but another thing that we're babysitting a baby so i don't know how much a six month old weighs call it like 14 pounds something like that i'm walking around i'm jiggling and singing and doing you know i'm trying to keep a six-month old baby happy who's fussing at the time that is worth zero maps right zero maps like i was busy i couldn't look i only have my phone i don't have the watch and uh afterwards i'm like i wonder how many maps i got walking around the house with this baby bouncing and jiggling in it zero Zero, zero, or maybe one,

something like that. Like I can't, I earn MEPs by actually exercising. And I hate how quickly my heart rate goes back to nothing. We're like, I'll burn myself out on the bike and be like, okay, I'm finishing at 87 here.

I can get off and sit down and like check Twitter or something and get, check my email and see if any other houses showed up. And then within like 45 seconds, I'll like look over and it'll be like 48%. And I'm like, no, no, that can't be right. No, I'm already out. And then I'll like get up and like start marching in place. Just trying to get the opposite Taylor. So one, mine's not 45 seconds. Mine's like five or seven or 10 minutes or something that it keeps going. But when I finish my workout, I want to get this godforsaken man boob enhancer off. I hate it. I'm mad at it.

It smells bad. I don't want to wear it. It's, I don't know, like a token, a reminder of things that hurt me. It's not flattering also. Say that again? Oh, it's not flattering? It's not flattering at all.

And so I'm like, I want to take this flipping thing off, but there's still some meps rolling in, you know? So I got to wear it to the end. I've noticed I usually am in the blue for like the whole time I stretch after working out. Yeah. Like just stretching gets me in the blue. Yeah.

We should change the topic. And I think that my high heart rate is a testament to how hard I've been working if you think about it. Because it's not like I'm keeping that high heart rate for 20 minutes. I'm having to work with a very inefficient engine for hours.

Kyle has been building this inefficient engine for 32 years. I'm a V8 running on six cylinders driving to town and back oh something like unexpected for me like i think i texted our group uh i've been drinking a bunch of pedialyte because i was looking online it was like drink a bunch of pedialyte it's got potassium and sodium and it's going to do way better for you than just drinking water and's got carbs, like a little bit of sugar in there to give you energy. Any side effects from that? Yeah, a couple side effects of it.

And so, I didn't read the actual bottle, and so for like three straight days, I just went and bought a ton of off-brand Pedialytes and was just drinking that instead of water. And I've been eating pretty good for the most part and so like yesterday i went and like i had like two shits and like both of them were just diarrhea just total diarrhea and i was like this doesn't make any sense i've been eating good i've been drinking tons of fluids like what's going on and then i went and i read the side of like the pedialyte thing and it was like don't use this as a total replacement for water use this as a supplement too much ingestion may result in

watery diarrhea watery so i'm like all right i'm so hydrated that i'm just shitting pedialyte at this point and so hopefully that goes away i've cut down on the pedialyte you know now i'm just back on regular water. Yeah, man. And what he was talking about, not absorbing anything from this, maybe it's because I've been watching 100% the same show the whole time. I've been going through King of the Hill. But I think I'm being indoctrinated by Hank a little bit.

Now, walking around houses that I'm looking at, my mom or anybody who's coming to look at it too, if it's one that I like, will be like, oh, and this is really neat over here. It has a powder room. And it's almost like Hank comes into me. He's like, now why would I need a powder room in my own home? And that's what comes into my head now. And so I'm going crazy over here watching hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of Hank and Bobby and Paul and Peg and the whole gang. And I'm losing it. I've been utilizing a PKA sponsor.

I've been using YouTube Music. And I freaking love it. I really do. They're not a sponsor tonight. I freaking love it. I really do. They're not a sponsor tonight, but I downloaded the YouTube Music app because it runs, as the ad read says,

like in the background while my zone is up, you know? And I'll just pick an artist, and I'll listen to everything that fucking artist has ever made, and then I'll pick another one. But then sometimes you get into this zone running where your mind goes away, and all of a sudden I wake up come to my senses and i'm listening to some soft ass like 70s love ballad or something and i'm just like

this isn't pumping me up what happened to acdc i i was on thunderstruck just a minute ago and i look and thunderstruck was an hour ago it's all right just listening to something like johnny cash or something i'm okay with a little johnny cash you know listen to the when the man comes to town here the trumpets here the pipers i'm like yeah all right let's go like i've been doing more like boxing oh yeah let's talk about your friend back there yeah and so i i bought this guy off amazon my buddy here and i wasn't as motivated as i wanted to be and so what i did is i put i made him look hitler like you know are the eyebrows you also the eyebrows are me also yeah i drew the eyebrows he's a little groucho marchi and then if you if

you can see charlie chaplin he's got like uh eyes I've put in there because I imagine that's how Hitler's eyes would look. And so I just like my motivation was like, you know, if I'm just boxing this random dude, I'm not getting anything out of it. I want to feel like I'm an easy company. I'm following Captain Winters into Bastogne. And I know it's going to be tough, but I'm going to make it unless I'm one of those guys who got their legs blown off, in which case I'm going to make it into Band of Brothers in the end. That's pretty cool. And so and so i drew hitler on him and then i started hitting him and i was like you know i like this guy you know and so it actually backfired and so you know i'm gonna i'm gonna have to draw someone else you just have too

soft a heart to hurt hitler you know that that authoritative face, that strong jaw. And look, that mustache grows on you after a while, am I right? Well, see, like, if I draw him as Hitler or Stalin, then I start to get the fear that I'm going to be in the gulag. But then I get another kind of fear that pushes me further. I don't want to end up in the gulag or a concentration camp. And so I'm feeling a lot of different feelings, mostly directed by what Hank Hill would think about the situation. Now, why would you want to draw Hitler on your punching bag, Bobby?

I have a topic. I can't link it. The link went away, but it was a confession on Reddit. So here's the way it went down. The guy was with this girl. He met her. It was the first night he met her. They didn't know each other.

They go back to her place, and they get a little hanky-panky, whatever. They start going. She gets off. And then she just stops and decides to end the lovemaking session because she came. And the guy's like, you know, like, how about me? Traditionally, this is over when I'm finished. And, you know, like, how about me? Traditionally, this is over when I'm finished. And, you know, women's right. They go, they made great strides,

but we still decide when it's over. Exactly. And she's like, you know what? I've been with enough guys where I didn't get mine because they got theirs. So you're out of luck. And he slept on her couch that night.

But being all blue balled, he nutted on her couch that night. But being all blue-balled, he nutted on her couch. And the question is, is he an asshole? You know... No. I'm just saying he's not very creative. He should have went in there

and busted straight into her Pantene Pro-V. You know, just like... Oh, her shampoo? Her shampoo. It would have hidden perfectly in there. Ah. And she just would have got... It would have got a little stringier, according

to Johnny Knoxville's assessment of his face lotion when Bam and Ryan Dunn put horse cum in there, if anybody remembers that. Do you know about this, Woody? About the face cum? No. So what they did was and it's all documented, so they recorded themselves when they did it.

Johnny, like me, has a special face lotion that he routinely uses. And they put this horse cum in there. And then months go by. He doesn't know this. He doesn't know it. He doesn't know it. Months go by.

And they're having a viewing party or something with a big audience. They're showing them one of the movies for the first time or something like that. And then they reveal it. And then Johnny, they're all in the audience. And they play that video and johnny's like i've been using that every day for the last three months every day he even said he's like so that's why it got all stringy i've been using that lotion every day and it just got stringy i thought it just got too hot in the car no turns out it was horse cum i have an am i am i an asshole so i'm gonna try to speak broadly here

it's not to give away who this is so no one related to me and it's not me um someone in your universe someone in my universe friend of a friend associate of a family member etc so this guy is a married man he is let's call let say, 50 years old. He has long been having this extramarital relationship with this other lady who's also married. Now, he was seeing her before she was married. I hope this doesn't get too convoluted. Oh, so he's always been married, but she got married during the relationship. Yes, thank you. And so he continues seeing her and um she has two

kids two little ones and the grandmother her the girl's mother sees the newest little one and says that looks like one of those insert surname boys that looks like one of them that doesn't look like your husband that doesn't look like you grandma's loose-lipped grandma is more than loose-lipped grandma says i'm gonna get to the bottom of this so she goes to the the 50 year old man brother she goes to this guy's brother and asks for dna the brother and i don't know why he gave her this dna but he did he knew he was innocent well he didn't know what the question was i i don't know what she said to him to get him to provide her with dna she gets the dna from this guy tests it proves that this baby belongs to this other man and not this woman's

husband then she takes those results and the first place she goes is to his wife to the guy's wife the guy who's the brother's wife no the man who the man who made the baby oh okay somehow she she went to the brother but got his dna to prove that, you know, you can prove that the baby's related, that that's his uncle. Okay, I inferred that she thought that the brother was the guilty party. No, no, no. She just knew she couldn't get DNA from the guilty party. She knew that if she goes to, let's call him, Dave is the one who made the baby extramaritally. She knew she couldn't go to Dave and get his DNA.

He'd be like, fuck you. I'm not giving you any DNA. I know what you're after. You're technically the grandma of my bastard baby over there. So instead, she goes to his brother and gets his DNA and proves that the baby is Dave's.

So then she goes to Dave's wife and says, your husband fucked my daughter and made a baby even though she's married to pete over here it's upturned his universe this 50 year old man this 50 year old man has kids that are my age like he's got like a 32 year old and like a like a 30 year old or something like that and then that's it and now he's got a one-year-old bastard child and a wife who is furious with him they get like that i would get yeah like yeah was there a problem so so of course he's an asshole right for for

cheating on his own wife with a married man's wife of course the woman doing the cheating she's also an asshole the person i want to know if this is an asshole or not is this man's brother who provided DNA evidence Against his own brother in a situation where he had to know it was for no it wasn't for anything good I was hearing this story, and I was like he had to know he had to know that She wasn't about to start some sort of super race of him on Mars or something like that. That guy is totally an asshole. Unless he is a total idiot, like stone cold idiot, moron. There's no excuse for not knowing that.

Why would a strange person come up to you and go, hey, can I get your DNA? Would you ever say yes to that perhaps a little more idiot because my my first instinct was how did she fool him and could i have fallen for it right so maybe i'm an idiot but if she came out and let me swab don't worry what it's for yeah right if she got the dna sneaky then he's not an asshole but i think that's not the case, Kyle, later on in the story. If she convinced him, like, man, I need a kidney so bad. Can I see if you're a match? I don't know. There's a route in which he's not necessarily ratting out his brother.

He's just fooled. Even then, if they were like, I need a kidney transplant, and I need a donor, I'd be like, well, you should probably go to the hospital and stop accosting me that fucking quick trip with with scissors ma'am get the scissors away from my head scissors away from my head ma'am get away from me like no there's no way this guy's a douchebag he knew this was not some innocuous request i bet that maybe the guy really had a lot of frustration towards his brother. Maybe he wanted to see him kind of crumble and fall a little bit.

Who knows? Maybe he's like the way less successful brother. He is. He is the way. There are many of these brothers. I won't say how many, but more than a handful. In this family? This one family?

Yeah, it's a big family of only brothers. And they have very distinctive features. They're big big strong men good looking guys um and and it's one of the situations where like each one is bigger and stronger than the last and by the time you get to the end it's a mountain of a man and on the very end of the totem pole is the guy who provided the dna if that if that's important at all to the story this is the lesser of all the brothers are you saying that this guy is like the guy at the very bottom is so dumb that he might have been fooled like no no

you couldn't be fooled i think that he was like willing to like get one over on his older more successful better looking i mean the guy's 50 something and the the young lady is very attractive from what i've been told and like 30 something like like this and there's also you know you hear rumors about people and i i but and you never know but the the rumor is so pervasive that his dick is enormous like i've always heard it and it hasn't been just like one person joked about it once like yeah yeah he's got a big one like no everybody talks about how enormous this man's penis is my high school like that i i you know when you live in a small town not a lot to talk about i want to give out his name because it seems like a compliment that i people if you're somehow from my high school you'll know who i'm talking about probably

you already do because he's the guy rumored with the ginormous penis but he was a year younger than me italian dude and like six seven on the basketball team and uh you just hear like this guy's got a huge dick i heard it's huge and everyone else feels like mine's pretty big but no one's talking about mine right like this other dudes aren't like i heard it's like a baby's arm and it's yeah i still wonder about it a little bit now that you bring him up on facebook i'm sure he'll show you i don't see the way you really tell who has the bigger showers is that you swing your penis at each other's and then it wraps around like a tetherball uh cord and whoever's gets further towards the body,

whoever touches the other person's torso first wins. We all played penis spiral in high school, didn't we? Well, on the Indiana Jones whip, and it wraps around everything. Exactly. I assume his is bigger because I don't think mine is big enough to play that game. One of those clapping noises that only comes from old men in church. Where they're like, boom, boom, boom.

Do you know exactly what I'm talking about, Kyle? Where there's always an old man who loves the Lord so much that he's got a sonic boom half a foot away from your head. I don't know what the Lord is granting to those old man palms, but it's impressive. Sounds like a plane taking off. Well, yeah, I think he's an asshole. Yeah, I think he's probably an asshole, especially when you lay out the possible motive, right? Now that my head's gone down that road,

and I think that maybe he was just like, you know what? Fuck my better-looking, more successful brothers. I mean, put yourself in these shoes now now obviously you'd never cheat on your wife like but but let's just say i don't know what situation that like your dna would be relevant to some sort of civil suit but like how about this how about this one this is something that could happen let's say you beat a waiter up real good one night you leave a little blood at the same time yeah yeah on purpose this time you know you pummel him right he brought you

chocolate milk he it was two percent milk you wanted full and you pummel him you leave a little blood at the scene and uh this man brings a civil suit against you and your brother provides that guy with dna you probably wouldn't care for that too much yes he should be on my side that winner we already laid out motive. It seemed reasonable. Well, come on, Matt. He gave me a discount at any TGI Fridays in the country. Yeah, that's the issue.

I feel like you shouldn't rent out your brother like that. Yeah, same team. Same team. By the way, as far as the fitness thing goes, if we ever want to do anything like this again, you're on my team. We will fucking team up together. I challenge, I'll tell you what, any other- Who got second place in Ari?

Was it Rogan and Ari? Yeah, something like that. You can call them out. You're already picking teams for next time? How is this fair? Oh, you hush up, JV. If Joe Rogan and Ari Shafir want to go, we would fucking destroy them. we would fucking destroy them.

We would fucking destroy them. Like, in any sort of MEP competition. I mean... Imagine Joe talking about it on this podcast. He's like, I'm working as hard as I can, but goddamn, those PKA guys got nothing but time. I don't understand. Do six podcasts a week?

It's not cool, dude. He'd be doing his show, and he'd be like, look, Yellow River. Yellow River. Once you get there, you can stay there. He wasn't even a fan of the Yellow thing. I saw a post of his on his Instagram. It may have been someone on the Reddit, or someone linked it to my Twitter or something. But it was him, and he posted, as Kyle has deemed it, a Yellow River.

And his complaint was was he was like this my zone thing doesn't work i only have to get 146 beats per minute to get as much credit as i do at 185 look at this workout i did this while i was watching gladiator earned 500 and something maps and didn't break a sweat or get out of breath and it was straight yellow and after i saw that i'm like okay joe rogan is still much more fit than any of us if he's like looking at a yellow one he's like guys did you like his his version of cheating is like do you know you can just hang out in the yellow instead of getting to 99 every time yeah he was he was really upset that you didn't get more points for red i didn't see his

i am too but look i wish that we got points for red as well. I would push myself to red sometimes. I hit red occasionally, and it's not like, I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm in the red. It's like, this is another increment harder. I don't know. I think the way it is is working for me just fine. Oh, for sure, for sure. If there was red, I don't know i haven't tried

to hold if i hold red it means i made a mistake no i haven't tried to hold red yeah of course yeah it means there's a mistake or like like like that first night i would i would send chiz screenshots as i worked out and i didn't want to lose yellow so i'd pump up to red and take my screenshot and then send it to him because i didn't want to because I wanted my down slope to not go to green or whatever. Even green's not bad. Let me slip in an advertisement here. Tell everyone about this morning

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or, nope, that's just it, at morningrecovery.com slash pka. That's morningrecovery.com slash pka. Very cool. Check them out out kyle i have a i should have talked to you about this pre-show but i want to brainstorm with you this won't cause any trouble i would like i had an idea another podcast i watch it's parent based but he pimps his show by asking people to share it on social media, and then he gives them stuff, right? And I have some things that maybe people would like, included these two bad boys, right? Oh, my God.

I would like one of those. Right? That demon. Here's you right here okay could you move it um closer to the other one because we use two different cameras oh my god oh i'd love to show my mother so um and then i have um movement watches i think i might need to show them in an ad but then afterwards perhaps a subscriber might be interested in having them. I have some cologne from a dollar shave club, those things. I don't know. I have a couple of weeks worth of stuff lined up and the thought process stolen from this other podcast.

I watch a cloud-based mayhem. He says, Hey, take the show, share it a place, and then let me know about it. And, uh, I'll pick someone who you know was particularly glowing or something like that and send them a prize and in my world it's usually like a little altimeter or something like that but we do this how can they tell me where they shared it so one thing that i would always include uh in the description of my videos whenever i'd upload was this it's like a retweet link. And basically, you click this link and it opens up,

when you click it, it opens your Twitter up and it's already got this thing filled out. It's an auto-tweet kind of thing. I wrote the tweet for you. So I like that idea, but my hope is that I can cast a broader net so what you might do is leave a review on spotify we're brand new on spotify we have very little presence there in terms of like auto results but if people were to leave like i don't even know do they do stars

there and say something nice then perhaps we would have a presence on spotify or or itunes you know we maybe be one of the top potty comedy podcasts one week if if we gave away uh taylor here um and uh so that that's i'm gonna leave a comment because i want it right i'm gonna i'm reviewing it yeah i'm gonna put my head in the ring so uh your odds are not good because i'm picking the winner based on which one i like the most and i don't want it to be that obviously well okie okie dokie, we see how it is. How funny would that be if like a thousand people go rate it and you're like, well, I like Taylor's the most, so fuck, that's it.

See, that doesn't sit right with me. But anyway, yeah, so here's my first idea. Leave a comment on either Spotify, iTunes, your Facebook page, Twitter. Like, I don't really care where you leave it. And then I'll make a sticky thread on the subreddit and just show me what you wrote. And then I will go there and I will pick a winner.

So that's what we'll do the first week. This process may improve over time, unless you guys instantly have a better idea. Yeah, I don't know much about this. Maybe next week we've got a better plan than what we've got right now. She's as good as this, too. If you go and – like Spotify or maybe iTunes is the place to pimp us. I don't know.

Maybe that's what we would prefer. But write a review or something like that and then share it. Put it on your Facebook or whatever. Anywhere. Just somewhere in the universe of social media. I don't care if it's your Snap or your Instagram. Just say a thing that would make people like the show, and one of you guys will win.

For the first week, you know what? I'll tell you what. For the first week, you tell me whether you want Kyle or Taylor. Kyle is in the red. Taylor is in the blue. You probably know that already. It's quite obvious. I got to say, Kyle is much more ghoulish.

Kyle is a lot more ghoulish, and that's a feat, because I'm pretty ghoulish. Kyle is so Simeon in this thing. Kyle's grandfather here didn't stand up right. That's my theory. I look like a Greek. Yeah, yeah. You got a real Leonidas type thing going on. But these things aren't doing me any good,

and there might be a sub who thinks it's pretty cool. They're not doing him any good because he's getting nightmares. So yeah, in 10 seconds before we change topics, winner picked one of those, go to the subreddit, show me what you wrote, screenshot or link, and tell me which one you want kyler taylor yeah speaking of nightmares woody have you been waking up like covered in sweat at all no no i've been sleeping well okay i've been sleeping like a rock on days where i do a lot

i i don't know if it's just the stress of this thing or if it's literally like my body's not understanding that we're we're we're cool now like like literally temperature wise we're not hot but but i every time i've woken up for like the past five times i've slept i'm not just sweaty i'm so sweaty i have to change the sheets i i took a nap this afternoon what an uncomfortable feeling like you can see the perspiration on me and i've been having nightmares did you sleep with the thing on no last night i dreamt last night i dreamt that my hand was bitten by a poisonous snake and my father's driving me to the emergency room and as we're driving that the flesh is dissolving off of my hand and to the point where it's just bone from here down. And we keep having to get distracted,

and we're not going in a straight... We stopped at Walmart at one point, and I can see most of the bone in my hand, and I'm just like, what are we doing here? What are we doing at Walmart? Well, they're having a rollback. Yeah, and Dad's got to pick up a few things. Just having all these nightmares.

It's 298 now. Man, you have very vivid nightmares. Yeah. It seems like you do, because every time you speak about a nightmare you've had, it's very detailed, and it's always different. There's a reason. It doesn't seem to be a theme of you're afraid of losing your hand because another time you'll

dream you have AIDS or something or you'll dream that you go bald or something like that. It's indicative of bad sleep. Kyle, if you're remembering your dreams, something probably woke you up. If you sleep apnea, you might wake up with a...

You can snore yourself awake. The alarm wakes me up because I'm not done sleeping. I would love to get more than two or three hours, but there was a yellow river that I had to cross, and the alarm ends up waking me up after two or three hours of sleep.

I often have dreams where I'm being chased. One time, it was a group of cannibals, just murderous rednecks or whatever. A while back, I had a dream where I got a root canal, like two years ago, and they put the temporary cap on, and I never went back. So I've just got a temporary cap, like, on one of my tops. To this day? Yeah. Just never went back. I just never went back.

You know, I paid full price. I'm sure they've made it. You know, they have to make this, like, paid full price They've made it They have to make this You should go get it Somewhere out there there's a cap for 27 year old Kyle It'd be perfect There absolutely is It's sitting in some little tiny drawer that they have

I paid full price for the fucking thing But I've got one of my back molars in the top It's just flat Because it's just got this temporary cap on it and if i were to like go back there and try to pull it off i could but i never would pull it off i can just tell that if i pull it a little it'll move like the whole tooth doesn't move just just the cap of the tooth i had this nightmare where like i pull the cap off and look at it and the back of it is covered with wriggling maggots like like you didn't even know

that your whole jaw is rotting exactly like my jaw is full of maggots and they are devouring me from the inside yeah that's like one of the most common or nightmares uh from people is uh losing your teeth no yeah i've had that nightmare before where it's like you'll wake up and you're like i don't have where did my front teeth go? And then it's so real. And then you wake up and you're like, oh, thank God I have teeth. But I wonder what that is, to be so afraid of losing teeth. I don't know.

I've had the one where I fall. I used to have that a lot as a kid. I have the night terrors thing. I recently retold it in a Paramotor story, so I'll skip it. But I do want to say this. thing I recently retold in a paramotor story, so I'll skip it, but I do want to say this. Since I got this, most people call it a CPAP machine, mine's slightly more advanced, a BPAP machine, that has changed my sleeping life, and it's changed my life life. For the whatever 1% of you out there who are on the edge of getting a sleep study and seeing if you qualify for this

machine, please do it. Do it. I've lost a bunch of weight. I have more energy. Every once in a blue moon, I'll call it like twice a month, I'll forget to wear the thing when I'm sleeping. I'll fall asleep unscheduled, so I didn't put it on in advance. The next day, I am cranky.

I am listless. Is that the word? I don't know. I'm low on energy. I'm just not the I am listless. Is that the word? I don't know. I'm low on energy. I'm just not the good version of me. And it's like, yeah, because I woke up once a minute last night. That's my problem. So my sleep life has been changed.

It's turned upside down for the better. It's a whole new thing. Who bounces out of bed? Like, wow, I'm rested'm rested you know i'm ready to tackle this day i do so you might like it if you have the casper mattress can also help with that they're not a sponsor tonight but just say it just say it okay yeah yeah i have a uh i have a very interesting story here it happened to any of us. Why do I think that won't be true? Australian loses eyesight in Thailand as stripper pees on him.

I got a link for you guys right here. Let's get that on over. Stripper pissed in his eyes? Did he request this or did she surprise him? An Australian man holidaying in Thailandailand temporarily oh come on lost eyesight after a stripper infected him with chlamydia and a stripper infected with chlamydia urinated on his face during a party oh it's got his name here what the fuck brandon clark i just scrolled so as not to show it. Brandon, I was your bro. Dude, this is on BangkokJack.com.

Everybody knows. This is my homepage. He was partying with a group of friends in their hotel suite when one of the strippers unexpectedly performed the risque sex act on him. Clark told the Sunday In inquire that he washed his face immediately but by the next day his eyes were red and painful but so he did request this no unexpectedly performed the risque act but i mean okay maybe he didn't expect it maybe this was some bad friends maybe that's just her show, right?

Taylor, where are you getting that he requested it? Like, you keep insisting it and then dodging to different versions of the story where maybe he was still requesting it. To me, it's funnier if he requested it and I want it to be true. Okay, okay, okay. I want him to have requested, like, oh, give me that good juice. And then, like, he pisses all over his eyes. me that good juice and then like she pisses all over his eyes and then there's like a you know like the same eye animation when a character in a cartoon gets high where it like like immediately becomes red where you just well who would have guessed that a stripper in thailand had an std

i mean i couldn't have foreseen that well you know what'd be funnier is if like the part they're leaving out of this story is that it was a lady boy and so that's why the accuracy was so oh no like she was able to aim with the penis so effectively you know what i imagine i imagine they're doing some sort of a like bachelor party dance where he's perhaps laying on the ground and she's like standing over him dancing and like like squatting down his face a little bit. And then she just let loose the Yellow River and just blasted him right in the face with it. The Yellow River is getting all kinds of air time tonight.

Yeah. Yeah, a group of friends, she was partying with, or he was partying with friends in the hotel suite. So, I pictured it in a club, perhaps because it was a picture of her in the club, but that's not how it went down. It was in a hotel suite.

Why you be such baby, pissy eye? Just watch it off. Just so you guys know, you may be into water sports yourselves. There's a lot of things that you can get from having someone piss in your eye. Some of these are the papillomavirus, which of course causes cancer, chlamydia, and a range of bacterial pathogens. All are potential sources of ocular adverse response. I like that verbiage.

It would suck to get throat cancer from eating some bad pussy. That happens. I know. I'm saying imagine something worse. I told you that. I told you that. I remember your reaction.

Scared the shit out of me. I remember your reaction when i told you that for the first time like you know you can get throat cancer from eating some bad pussy and you're like no that can't be true i also choose that not to be true it absolutely is yeah i choose what's true in my life and that didn't make the cut and slowed down a bit whatever no they're good with a bad that's what i always say they're uh you know someone i don't know if we had if any of us had him in our death pool but stan lee died yeah which to be fair if any of us had him in our death pool, you shouldn't get as much credit because he was like 95. Like there should be a tiered system where you don't get as much credit for like people above 90 because, you know, it's coming. But isn't it like to you, is it a little sad, like a little sadder when a 95-year-old dies than like an 86-year-old?

Really? Because in your head, you're like, goddammit, they were so close to like me hitting 100 like that's pretty cool you know what i think it's pretty cool i'm not gonna do it because i was born in 73 but when someone crosses centuries like it's conceivable that someone could be born in like 1898 and die in like you know 103 years later yeah yeah that is really cool they're like they were there for the whole thing yeah but then what also is annoying is when like someone who was born in i don't know uh 1914 they'll be like interviewing them now and be like so what was world war one like and then they're just clearly regurgitating things they've heard from other family it's like wait you were three

that doesn't magically imbue you with knowledge of you know the kaiser and all those things that happened back then like you just hopped on wikipedia too you probably need your grandson to help you your 68 year old grandson dude i like this though like so um i think i complained about the colors and maybe black ops one and one of my subscribers was like woody you don't understand the cold war was really dreary and drab and it's like all right bitch what i was in the cold war and we wore neon all the time it was the thing have you seen the 80s like neon ski jackets were in style we all wore them to school don't tell me that the cold war War was dull colors and the grass same color. Every morning, your mom's like, Woody, don't you know we're in war?

Take that neon jacket off and put on this dreary, glum, you know, fucking fatigue. Meanwhile, some kid who was born during the Clinton administration Telling you about the Cold War Yeah yeah exactly I was born in 96 And I'll have you know I've read the Wikipedia article On how it works That is silly when people do that

Oh Call of Duty Talking about I thought we just met Anyway you know the swatter guy That swatted someone and the guy got shot by the cops? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, he was just sentenced to 20 to 25 years in prison. Good.

Yes. As a quick recap for people who don't know this story, two people were arguing online, right? One of them's name was Swatistic. Swatistic? Something close to that. And the person that Swatistic was arguing with said like i think come fight me something like that and he gave him a fake address so then there's another person having nothing to do with any of this probably not even a gamer

the police come to his house he's like what's all the ruckus out here and the cops shot him that guy that died nothing to do with any of this. He's just the fake address that the person gave to Swatistic. Turns out Swatistic had swatted dozens of times. Like he was like an all, sometimes a couple times a day. He swatted the FBI.

No, the FCC. The FCC, they got rid of net neutrality or whatever. So he called up the police, getting the SWAT team over to the FCC. The FCC, they got rid of net neutrality or whatever, so he's calling up the police, getting the SWAT team over to the FCC because he's going to make a difference or something. Now he's in jail. He was a serial SWATer. He was.

Well, his name, I just imagine this in court. Your Honor, why don't you have the defendant tell you what his online username is? Yeah, yeah, Mr. Michaels, please stand up first. What was your online username? Swatistic. Could you speak up? Could you speak up, please?

Swatistic! Swatistic, the swatting swatterson. Yeah. I think there was a recording of him either bragging about it or doing it or something like that so he was just dead to nuts it's not funny it's not funny it's not a joke it's you're sending deadly force funny it look send somebody a pizza that's unpaid for it's annoying as fuck to them and you've wasted that poor pizza man delivery pizza man's time and if you and you know

and the money right because those guys have to pay for their own fuel and stuff like that it's it's pretty it's pretty crappy but at the end of the night the pizza guy gets to eat the pizza and he's dying and nobody's dying right but you send a fucking SWAT team like like a SWAT team could kill the guy but what if there's someone else who needs that SWAT team that night. What if there's an actual hostage crisis somewhere that's not getting handled because you sent the Apex SWAT team over to Mr. Woody's house or whatever? Meanwhile, there's some evil,

mustache-twiddling evildoer somewhere with a bunch of doctors tied up in a bank vault or something like that. That's a bizarre scenario. SWAT teams now, who they know this is so prolific that their mindset has almost changed when responding to calls that they don't think are truly serious. They may go, oh, it's out in this suburb.

Nothing bad happens there ever. Some asshole sending us to a streamer's house. And then they show up and someone actually is murdering their family. I hope it's part of the training now. So when I was SWATed, SWATing was new. I wasn't the first person ever swatted but i was towards the leading edge of that you were in the vanguard i yeah i was really quite the big deal anyway uh i didn't even figure out that it was swatting until like my family and i were outside sitting on the curb it was like i know what happened i've heard of this before and uh the police hadn't when i

explained to them that i was like an online personality and that you know this is a thing that happens especially in the gaming space they're like what like that like just a hoax prank and and uh it took them a little bit to realize that i wasn't behind it you know they're like you do this? Like, no, no, no. This happens to people like me. Very different thing. And now I just hope that these SWAT teams are allowing for the possibility that it's all a prank. I don't know. I bet they aren't. You know, I wish there were some kind of an advocacy group.

That's not the right term. I wish there was someone who was, like, getting the word out. Because they have these big international meetups of SWAT teams in Florida. I've been to them. And you go, and it's like all the best SWAT teams from everywhere. Like Brazil sends a SWAT team, but all the states and cities send them, and there's dozens of these. Yeah, that's in the Reno 911 movie.

Is it? Yeah, where they go there. I've been there. I've been there and seen them compete and everything. It's the SWAT, like, convention, basically. They're competing live while you watch them, like, amongst all of the SWAT gear that's also being sold, like, to civilians and everyone alike, you know? Someone needs to be down there with a booth that's, like, raising awareness, you know? Like, explaining what swatting is.

I'd like to do that. I've got it in my head. I did a VidCon. I did a panel at VidCon before. I'd like to do a panel at SWAT Central or whatever they call themselves. SWAT Roundup. The SWAT Roundup? All right.

They're SWAT-tastic. That can be the title on your booth. Am I the kind of man who would murder my family they should call themselves like swatastica right it's just close enough but to fantastic fantastic and swatastica no just me that was a lot like swastika to me random coincidence you know what it's time to take it back for the poor guy in 1936 what he thought was a cool buddhist tattoo that's what i take it back for i was at that swat roundup thing and

they've got all kinds of like some of the supporters upon spy gear like james bond type stuff like they've got this um this dirt right this dirt it's a bag of dirt and you pour it out on a path now if anyone steps in it, their foot, their footsteps will bioluminesce for a long period of time. So you can see if anyone walked through this entire area, if you, if you sprinkle this dirt out and they had the thermal optic scopes. So I'm friends with one of the guys who owns the company that makes the thermal optics and I'm, I'm hanging out with him at his booth. And we're just looking at all the booth babes because you can see who's got fake tits and who's

got real tits by looking at them through this thing. What does it look like? It looks like a titty. Oh, it's dark if they've got fake tits and it's lighter if they don't. And you can see through basically one layer of clothing with this thing.

It's like a it sees through one layer of clothing. And how much would this device cost? Take a guess. And what is the model name of this device? There's so many. Take a guess. I'm going to guess $5,500. Just keep in mind that when he told me, I said, nope, I don't think I can buy that.

$65. And I just had bought a $20,000 buggy. $55,000? Your titty vision money. You could have lived the dream. The cheap one was $15,000. The good one that we were using to look at titties was like $55,000. Wow.

For this little handheld piece of technology. It was absurd. Is it the kind of thing you could walk around with and people wouldn't know you were tit gazing? Or would they be like, why is this guy walking around with night vision? You'd look a little weird, but it's not like a full helmet night. It's a little thing. You'd look weird though. I think guns are going to change a bunch soon. I think tech is going to hit guns, right? weird though i think guns are going to change a bunch soon i think tech is going to hit guns right for people who don't know anything about guns the evolution i would say of guns and rifles and stuff over the last hundred years has been kind of slowish right you know they shoot basically the

same bullets and they're similar it may be 100 years too long anyway now i'm looking online the scopes like it's not that weird to have wi-fi and live streaming built into it recording you know optics and cameras you know jammed into this stuff i think there's some things that are everyday tech that like that's in your phone already that will start getting bundled into guns more interestingly there was one that calculated ballistics and stuff from like five years ago it had it ran on Linux, which I thought was fascinating. And it was really expensive. Kyle, do you remember the name of it?

Yeah, they're $20,000. I think it's the tracking point rifle. I want to say it was six digits, the one I was looking at. And Ars Technica covered it. And it was like prohibitively expensive. And I bet now it's five digits or even four. Kyle, yeah, Google it. But I just see guns and rifles and like ballistics calculators getting bundled into scopes instead of using tables and stuff like that like it's got to be

coming fast yeah it's um i i was when dan bulzerian bought two of these fucking things at the same time when i was with him at shot show one year uh they're the tracking point rifles i'm pretty sure they're about twenty thousand dollars a piece okay it's um these are as far as i know the best ones i don't know i've never heard of what you're talking about i'm not saying it doesn't exist i'm totally wrong uh it's 17 grand i even found the article on rs technica yeah and then and it's like 17 but you don't want the the pad that goes with it that lets you operate it do you well don't i need that oh yeah you're gonna need that all right well that's 2200 and uh do you want the trigger or yes i want the trick it's like by the time you get it you got 20k

in it and uh and i was gonna I wanted to do a video with it. And I think the deal, I don't remember. We went back and forth a lot. But no matter what deal we worked out, I was like, I'm going to have to have one of those rifles. And they're like, yeah, you could borrow one for as long as you need. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. You got to have it. I got to have one of those rifles.

And you're never, ever going to see it again. Usually I ask for two. I'm cutting you a deal. Yeah. You're a dental cap. But you're like, yeah, going to see it again. Usually I ask for two. I'm cutting you a deal. With your dental cap. But you're like, yeah, I'll bring it back. Funny thing. Got destroyed in the making of the video. Well, I'll just send the parts back.

No. Really destroyed. Totally destroyed. Obliterated. I burned it afterward to be safe to make sure no one could have it. Yeah, those things are really cool. It's basically like a video game because you aim at something,

and then the scope does the ballistics for you. It sets itself, and then you're like, all right, now all I have to do is put the dot on the target and squeeze, which isn't easy. It's been a while since I read the article, but I think the trigger gives you more resistance if you're not on target. And once it's lined up, they measure it in pounds. But it's much easier to pull the trigger if you're on target.

Really neat thing. $17,000 in 2015. I'm going to guess 2025, it's $5,000. Yeah, maybe so. I want to say those things came out right about the time me and you and joe lozon were at uh a paintball thing in chicago and i remember like seeing the articles and it was a big political thing because they were like um gun control groups were saying is this an auto sniping device teaching the everyday person how to take out political targets at thousands of meters

question mark question mark click the article and it says no but also but we don't like it and you shouldn't have one it's it's like i mean most of these nut jobs don't have seventeen thousand dollars not some of them do that guy in fucking uh vegas vegas big budget dude when i was a millionaire anything about that? Isn't that crazy? That was the biggest shooting ever, and it seemed like it got swept under the rug. You're totally right. Nobody's coming out with details.

What was that guy's motivation? He just goes and shoots up a country concert, and then they're like, yeah, this guy... And in one of the pictures, there's a note that you can see there. What the fuck was his... What was his note about? It's just like like i wish we knew some details about the sheets in so tight so i want to know details on that one talk which just is fun like in today's climate you hear about a shooting right some relatively unspectacular nine people in a library i don't know i made that up the first question everybody asks oh who do you vote for you know who did that shooter vote for we need to know

if this is trump's fault or whatever that hot chick from new york's fault eventually it's gonna like get down to a point where people are gonna to try and politicize it, but somebody is going to go shoot up like an Applebee's because they're like a staunch TGI Fridays fan. Like eventually it'll get to that point and people will still try to politicize it. Most of these people are just deranged and crazy and any sort of, I would think ideological motivation is skewed at best. Most of them.

The one dude with the van from florida it was pretty clearly uh shooting for the red team for whatever reason yeah yeah for sure he hated trump because he thought trump was like a pawn of of israel no that's the next guy no oh no that was the guy in the the trump van that did the shooting no the one you're thinking of is the one that shot up the synagogue oh yeah yeah you're right it's hard to keep track it is you know welcome to america good god yeah that guy in the van so i'll say this about the van guy he seemed actually like mentally unstable like he didn't seem like a focused individual who could really weigh left and right very well anyway i'm not defending him or anything like that but like he seemed like an actual crazy person who's like and there's different levels of

crazy like the synagogue crazy guy seemed like he was a man on a mission who was misguided and hated jews because he's screaming anti-semitic stuff as he slaughtered i don't even remember how many like 10 or 11 or something yeah and then a couple of police officers um the guy with the van he was living that van life hard i mean that alone should tell you something uh you know what he wasn't all bad yeah the van looked okay what's so interesting about the vegas guy is like like we don't know whether he is crazy pants kind of guy or if he's like Ted Kaczynski kind of guy where he's got like a manifesto

and a ton of stuff he's written about the industrial revolution and all the things that Ted Kaczynski wrote about so we don't know shit we don't know anything about the chasm between total deranged maniac and dude who thinks he's like like the savior of like something i want to know and i think kyle might have the answer so in my head i want to know if this is too expensive

for a regular person to pull off right like a regular person someone who didn't go to college but they're now 35 and they've been working as a plumber for a while can get $40,000 and throw away their future. Right. They can get a personal loan. They could get a home equity loan and, and we've got a sponsor for that. It was what he did, uh,

that night too expensive for a regular person to pull off. No, no, no. Well, but he was, he wasn't a regular guy. He was pretty wealthy,

right? From gambling. He was a multimillionaire. He owned a plane, several homes. Um, No. Well, but he wasn't a regular guy. He was pretty wealthy, right, from gambling? He was a multimillionaire. He owned a plane, several homes. The rumor that I've always heard, that I heard, I believe I even heard, like, the, whatever, the local sheriff say this or something. And he was basically saying, like, we don't know, and we may never know, but that we have heard that he had lost a lot gambling recently.

So it's possible that he was very upset about that very very upset about that never know like i'm because why wouldn't they tell us that well no he may never know it's not like he i may never tell you it's like he may never discover you know because the with the evidence they have in hand i know more they just i refuse to believe they're like we have no idea nothing's come forward like they have in hand. They've got to know more. I refuse to believe. They're like, we have no idea. Nothing's come forward. They have to know something. It could be something.

There could be a reason that they're not telling us more, even though, and the more maybe a whole separate thing. This guy might have been a CIA contractor or something that they had working in Bolivia to destabilize some government at some point, and they just can't talk about that because there are still operatives in the field or something like that. It's irrelevant to why he did this, but something like that could be keeping, you know, some information under tabs. You never know. And I'm, oftentimes I'm a little bit trusting of situations like that, especially with like like i remember when obama was

like not talking about something with the osama bin laden raid or something and and lots of people were like no you oh he threw the body away i'm like well probably a good idea that they gave this guy a proper burial at sea so that we don't look like some people who who are like they're the ones who drag our pictures i think that might be what you're thinking of they didn't share the pictures and then they you know they buried him at sea you know the body some of them and and people were complaining that they gave him this proper burial and i was i just remember thinking like well the enemy are the ones who drag our bodies through streets and and and desecrate us like like we don't have to stoop to their level every step of the way i heard it explained like this that if the enemy saw what we did to that body,

I heard he got canoed, like shot in the forehead after he was dead, just sort of split it. Yeah, he shot him two or three times in the head, yeah. And they felt like if the enemy saw what Osama looked like dead, that it would be motivating for them. So they just got rid of that situation.

Have you ever heard the interview of the guy who shot Osama bin Laden on the Howard Stern show? No. Was it interesting? So that guy has written a book and now he works, I think, helping veterans get jobs.

And Stern is Stern. So he's like, you're the guy who did it. You killed Osama bin Laden. And he'll just be like, yeah, well, you know, it was a team effort this and that i wouldn't have even been the one going through that door if uh you know this and that

hadn't happened and etc etc but like stern like he wants to know what like assholes like us want to know like what happened to his head how many bullets in his head let me ask you this who put his head back together for the picture and like well, well, you know, my buddy, he sort of pushed things back together so that we could. And it was he got the nitty gritty details that like this guy wasn't volunteering. He explained like the raid from beginning to end. And he taught he really gave praise to that. If you've ever seen that movie, like Zero Dark Thirty, I think maybe there's a redheaded actress who's the one who's it was the raid was her idea she's the one who had like gotten the intel from some source and she was the one pushing it through

and making sure it happened and uh and he was like her intel is what made this thing a success she told us that the last line of defense is going to be osama's son he's going to be on the stairs and he's going to have a rifle and she told us what his name was and so when we went around that banister i whispered his name and then some words in arabic and he peeked out around the banister and we blew him away and then went up the stairs it was it was really cool to hear that interview it's i'm sure it's on youtube now i want to hear it yeah it's good it's good it's this guy being very matter of fact about like and you know he talks about his training he wasn't a superman you know he's not like some he wasn't some gigantic human he didn't know how to swim when he joined when he joined the navy seals he had to he got like a collegiate swimmer to like train him how to swim for like the two or three months that led up to him going into the buds

uh training program or whatever and i thought that was remarkable you know like like you think that these guys it's more about toughness and character it seems than any termination i used to dream about uh being a navy seal right it was never in the cards i've got this damaged hand or whatever but i would sometimes daydream about it and uh the swimming like they would there's a there's a thing in a pool that knocks some people out where they dunk them a lot and they tear their goggles off. And that would not be the hard part for me. Get the fuck out of here. Oh, really? Did your goggles come off?

The part that looks the worst to me is so lame. I'm almost embarrassed to say it. It's when they make them get wet and sandy. Dude, yeah, yeah. Because, no, I'm with you. I'm with you completely. And a lot of people act like that's hard, and I get it. And it's not the, look, I could do that, right?

Walk me over to a warm beach, preferably East Coast because it's warmer. I'm thinking 1230, 1 p.m., something like that. Maui. Maui. What was the hardest part of killing Osama? Well, getting wet in sand. But it's not like that. They take you when you're already on the verge of quitting.

When there's already that walk left that Chell Sonnen talks about. Right there. And then they ruin you. And then they freeze you and they make you stay there. And then you're cold and you're hurting. And then they're like, alright up the beach. Let's all sugar cookie. You know? And you just make sand

angels while you're soaking wet, and then you go back into the water, and your skin has worn out in several places already, but it's still go time. And now you've got this, like, pants and sand sandpaper where skin used to be, sawing at you, right? This goes on for days. That's the hard...

It's not the pool time where they take your goggles off i'll be fine for that days of just getting the shit beat out of you like i remember watching a documentary about exactly what you're talking about and i remember knowing for a fact it was not in the cards for me to do it when they were like all right like after like they just did all that shit he's like you are now allowed 20 minutes for a standing nap and every one of them like like i would have been like standing nap are you high i'm out of here i'm going back to school fuck you like what what they did though all the navy seals like had a look of like oh oh 20 minutes of standing nap and they all stand there and like a couple people just fall over because they're

doing it and then of course they wake up to that same guy going did I say this was a laying down nap this is a 20 minute standing nap is it really a standing nap or is this part of the bit Taylor I can't tell is standing nap real

yes it was some of them lean against each other team effort this shit what they just had to do was that thing where they all like put a log above their shoulders and they all have to like in unison walk out into the surf and then like press it and move it around and everything in unison which is really much harder because like some dude who's not doing his full thing three people to the right of you you're picking up the slack and as soon as that was done they did the standing

nap thing. And it was funny, but also like, man, I'm really glad that the elite of the elite of the elite that defend our country and do things on behalf of this nation are that well trained. Like, that's very reassuring. They're just made of stern stuff. There has to be something about them chemically that doesn't quit. I'm impressed by people like that. Yeah, Bill Zarian passed that training course. stuff there has to be something about them chemically that doesn't quit i i i like i'm impressed by people like that yeah bill zarian passed that training course he uh he then he

hit a hit an officer and uh they made him repeat it and then something else happened he did he went i'm pretty sure he went through buds twice and he didn't quit he got kicked out after after doing something so he didn't pass the truth there's more than one way to fail, Buds. Yeah, right? Yeah, that's what they call it, the SEAL training. And then, of course, Jesse the Body Ventura. I want to say he was a Navy SEAL, right? Yeah, Navy SEALs are mad at him because Chris Kyle said something that he maintains is untrue,

but Chris Kyle is dead, so there's not really a big back and forth on that anymore. Yeah, what exactly happened was Chris Kyle wrote in his book a number of things that must have been either lies or he was a for one thing he said that he was shooting

looters during Hurricane Katrina that he sniped out like dozens of looters. Chris Kyle said that? Yeah. But he also said that he got in an argument with Jesse Ventura one night in a bar and he knocked Jesse Ventura unconscious. And Jesse Ventura goes, Chris Kyle said that? that deranged fan and well the lawsuit's ongoing and the way that the people who don't like it frame it is you're suing chris kyle's widow and it's like well i'm suing the chris kyle estate you know all the all the he's he's a wealthy guy i i'm not targeting his wife but like he wronged

me he he defamed me in this book and like i'm just trying to fight for the truth and to be compensated now that being said jesse mature is a nutty nutty motherfucker he's got a he's got a i resent that i live in the baja and down there the men are men and the mexicans are afraid i served in the united states military from decemberst, 69 to September 10th, 75. Just because I never saw a combat doesn't mean I'm any less of a SEAL. That dead bastard has nothing on me. He didn't even, that movie's not even real. Did you know that?

I thought it was a docudrama. I once beat a man to death with a polar bear. I'm profoundly overweight. And my neck is enormous. I've been using a salve from a friend, actually. Now, I've totally noticed your girth game, Jesse. It's really impressive. I'm so proud of you for using the salve. I wouldn't be hereth game, Jesse. It's really impressive. I'm so proud of you for using the SAV.

I wouldn't be here without you, Alex. He has a similar show to Alex. I want to say it's on RT, like Russia Today or whatever that network is. And it's a really cheesy sort of behind-the-desk talking about, like, conspiracy theories and nonsense type show. Like, with, with like a green screen behind him that looks real fake just like alex jones like like with this bright background and this silly desk and he's sitting there with what little hair he has in a ponytail and he's talking that crazy nonsense i remember jesse the body ventura when he was riding in a fucking

helicopter with arnold schwarzenegger fighting. That's the one I choose to remember. And also maybe the one that was the governor of Minnesota. What do you think in Minnesota? Like that guy is... I looked it up. I was curious about the combat thing. It's true.

He's never served in combat. That's because all of my missions were off the books i was that was what i went in my head i instantly tried to like all right so maybe he didn't like see broad wide scale combat maybe he you know did something you know six people dropped into granada or whatever yeah uh as far as i can tell he didn't see combat i was uh they're on netflix now they have uh an entire series of metal metal of honor stories and uh i still say that the the youtube videos that do this

are better but this uh this this show is still pretty freaking good i've watched several episodes of it and the one i watched last night was while i paced and ate my pimento cheese sandwich was, uh, they were, I want to say they were in Vietnam and there was this situation. I may, I may get the areas wrong, but in like Laos, uh, we weren't allowed to put military personnel there. So what they did was they, um, they had these tech, these air force technicians resign from the air force. Well, now you're not in the military, but Lockheed Martin has a job for you and then they just put him in Laos on this mountaintop running like this big radar facility and uh the guy who won the medal of honor was one of those guys and when when the

Vietnamese came like he killed a ton of them and got all of his buddies out and uh it was it was very heroic and man I cry on almost every single one of those stories, especially the ones on YouTube, because these old men who fought in Korea will be there, and it's just like that Band of Brothers thing when he's like, do it, do it, Taylor. The whole thing. My grandson asked me, Grandpa, were you a hero in the war?

Grandpa said no, but I served in a company of heroes. And then it plays The sad music And he's just this old man And he had all these remarkable achievements And he's so humbled by the sacrifice of his men He's truly a good man

Captain Winters That's why every time I hit this Hitler doll I think of Captain Winters I think of Captain Winters And how every punch is a punch to fascism. Hashtag punch Nazis. I'm on board. I'm with her. Bernie bro. All of it. I'm with punch Nazis. I'm on board. Just you saying that brought back those memories and I teared up. I teared up. If you'd done it another time back to back I'd have

cried like it's so powerful when I hear those stories like like these 75 85 year old men being like you know you know I found out that he took a round through the bottom of the chopper on the way back I said no Billy can't be dead. Billy can't be killed. They said, yeah. He hit a major vein and bled out. And he just closed his eyes real hard to try not to cry. And he's like, here's the bravest of us all.

And I was just like, So sad. You have to almost laugh. At least I do in response to things that sad. Otherwise, I'll cry. Heartbreaking. It, I'll cry. Heartbreaking. It's related to this. Do you know Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear?

He's the big guy. He's got kind of a belly. White British dude. He tells the story of why he likes the Porsche 928. I guess his wife's father is the British version of a Medal of Honor winner. I don't know if he's dying, but he gets in that Porsche 928

and sees him for the last time. And he has a soft spot for a car that's not considered to be amongst the elite. But for him, it is. And it is well told. And I bet it would make Kyle feel. I don't know. I don't watch feel. Yeah. I don't know. I don't watch any cult shows.

I don't know shit about cars. I've watched most episodes of Top Gear, though, because those three guys have some of the most entertaining chemistry, like the challenges they do. But it's so fake, right? Oh, it's so fake, but that's to be expected of British reality shows, even more than American reality shows. And American reality shows are scripted as fuck.

I don't even mind the scriptedness. I like the hokey jokes and the British humor and the way they shit on Hammond or May. I like it. It's well done. I like their chemistry. I enjoy the show as much as you do. But my gosh. I do have a bit of a struggle because it's not supposed

to be fake. I like the language. I like the harsh adult language in that context. It's almost surprising when they're rude to each other and they're mean to each other and they'll drop some serious language. I want to say there's F-bombs in that show.

I could be wrong. I think they are now that it's on Amazon. Yeah. I don't know. I've never really gotten into those guys but not because I think that it's not a good show. It's't know. I've never really gotten into those guys, but not because I think that it's not a good show. It's just not something I'm that into with the car thing.

You know? Like, I don't understand fetishizing super cars and stuff like that. That's what I'm saying. I don't give a fuck about the super cars either. Like, it's neat, but I don't really care. I'm watching it because it's fun to watch them race across Namibia or something. I can't pre-watchwatch this video but it's only a minute long it's accidentally

time-stamped time-stamped at six seconds if you could let me preface this video by saying porsche worked with the nazis and designed the tiger tanks and built the tiger tanks they put many americans in the great yeah give him a little slap i i hope you slap with your dick a little after the show let him know who's boss i'm hoping this is the video that i want it to be can we watch it together yeah i'm ready ready set play i know hammond and may think my 928 porsche is a bit dull but for one very good reason it isn't dull to me. You see, back in 1994, I was living in London. I got a call one evening from my mum to say that my dad was desperately ill in a hospital in Sheffield

and I needed to get there as quickly as possible. I'd just taken a chicken out of the oven and I thought, well, I'll take that for my mum because she won't have eaten, ran outside and i had a nine to eight on test that week and when i arrived in sheffield the chicken was still warm and my dad was still alive in fact he died half an hour later and the truth is if i hadn't have been driving a car which could sit quite happily at 170 miles an hour,

I wouldn't have had the opportunity to say goodbye to my dad. Well, that's good. So as far as I'm concerned, the 928 is all right. I get what you're saying. I like that story a lot. But he didn't fight off a bunch of gooks to save all of his friends he didn't throw any hand grenades back i think i'm conflating stories i'm mixing there's a he has a war story too it's not his it's his father's or father-in-law's but yeah that's a

good story something that makes you cry and like get emotional is uh those videos where like blind kids see for the first time or like a little baby hears their mom's voice or uh uh like a little kid is able to walk correctly for the first time because they get their braces on their legs or whatever all those are good because it's like you're seeing like truly not manufactured not put on like totally organic joy on part of the children. Because they're not even old enough to know to put on a show to make it dramatic. It's just a genuine heartfelt, like, holy shit, I'm normal now. Which is really cool to see.

Yeah. So we used to, I used to anyway, daydream that all Colin needs is a cochlear implant. And then suddenly, the whole problem has been that he hasn't been here. In the same way that deaf people can't speak well, right? These are just downstream problems

of not being able to hear. It's not all he needs. His hearing is fine. But that, yeah, I used to daydream about that sometimes. Totally makes sense. I have a video. Well, let me do a quick ad retail about GetQuip, and then I'll go

ahead and give you this video. So you can judge whether you think it's good or not. This is a customer laying a beating down, I'm told. I haven't watched it yet, because they refused a little extra ketchup. And I can relate to that, because I want ketchup on every french fry they give me. Not just every third french fry. You give me two packets for a large pack of fries, I'm going to want some more. But first, let me tell everyone about GetQuip. When it comes to your health, brushing your teeth is one of the most important parts of your day. Quip knows that. They've combined dentistry and design to make a better electric toothbrush. Quip is the new electric toothbrush that packs just the right amount of vibrations into a slimmer design at a fraction of the cost of this bulkier traditional electric brushes.

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Best brush I've ever used. You guys will not regret it. Twice a day. Good for you, Taylor. Yeah. Look at me. I remember when the dentist was like, you got to brush your teeth after every meal. And I was like, absolutely no.

No, I'm not doing that. I'm going to bring toothpaste and a toothbrush to school like no absolutely not i don't remember what uh cartoon or like comedian made the joke where he's i think it was bart simpson where he's like oh you want me to do your job for you for free my son does that care of my teeth yeah he brushes every day twice well it started a year or two ago because he has clear braces. Oh, yeah, like Invisalign? Yes, yeah.

I think they might literally be Invisalign, but I'm not sure. Anyway, they just told him, like, yeah, so here's your new process. When you take the braces out of your mouth, you, like, clean them and put them in this box. And then after you eat, you brush your teeth. You put on the – you know, clean your braces again. Put them on, whatever it is. And he learned it. And now he just didn't question. He didn't do it, Taylor.

He'd be like, what? Yeah, absolutely no. He didn't do that at all. I still do that today. He's a dream patient for a dentist. Whereas today they'll be like, now, Taylor, you need to be using a water pick every day, twice a day for like 10 minutes. And in the chair, I'm like, yeah, okay. Yeah, I'm going to do that. I'm going to add 20 minutes to my oral health routine every day. Yeah,

okay. No, what I'm going to do is I'm going to buy one, not use it until four days before my next appointment, and then I'll use it. And if there's no results, I'll say I did it. I floss after every meal. Every meal I floss. And I have floss stashed everywhere. There's some in my glove compartment. There's some downstairs in the kitchen, every bathroom. I'm never more than like a few steps from floss. I hate flossing. I can do it without a mirror, obviously.

Do you use one of like the little pick kind where you can like bite down on it and it's super easy? Or do you use like old school string? I'm a fan of the string. Although we have – my wife bought the pick kind because you can like bite down on it and it's super easy or do you use like old school string i'm a fan of the string although we have my wife bought the pick kind because she likes better we have like she bought it on amazon and uh i saw it in the amazon cart and i was like you know 63 for like dental floss picks whatever you know she already ordered it. I'm going to make a fight over it. Like 10,000 of them. It's the kind of mistake you only make on Amazon. We had pounds and pounds of these like things.

She had to buy, you know, like the little plastic thing you might use to store forks and knives and spoons? Yeah. Well, we've got that filled with dental floss picks in the kitchen. Your children's children will need to buy floss. If you ever need a floss pick and you're in my kitchen,

I got you hooked up. Hey, make sure you tweet the show out. You too will be the recipient of a floss pick. Yeah, maybe I'll toss one in with Simi and Kyle. Used or unused, whichever you prefer.

I'm not giving my DNA away. it could be a jurassic woody sister and woody's brother with a baby but yeah i i always want it's not that interesting i want to go downstairs take a picture because you just you just when they came in like there's some heft there's we bought like seven pounds of dental floss picks it's it was something like been way too ambitious with an amazon purchase and then you realize when it gets like like i bought workout shirts like wicking away stuff and i clicked what i thought was extra large because i don't like it to be too tight. Turns out I selected extra large, like, UK sizing, which is large here. And so they all showed up,

and I bought, like, nine of them at once. And, like, I put the first one on. I'm like, all right, well, I'm not going outside in this. Because this is making me... It's really putting off a Michelin Man vibe in my midsection. And so I was like, all right, well, I guess I bought nine shirts that I can use

in the confines of my own home. I bet they'd look good on your girl yeah put them on her i actually let her put one on i mean they're way too big for her but you know i still work i i tested the i tested the water in that regard i bought one large and i was and it was definitely too tight but i was okay with that because i'm rowing and so then i bought three more extra large and those fit quite well but then i realized like nobody's looking anyway underwear underwear thermostat on 65 let's row like this is no reason to be wearing clothes i have a couple rash guards and a rash guard i prefer for surfing i prefer my rash guard to fit tight. I don't like it to be all floppy.

And usually, if it fits like a t-shirt, it probably holds water similar to a t-shirt. Is the rash guard a shirt you're talking about? Yeah, I'm sorry. It's a very tight t-shirt that would snug to your body. And I don't know. Other people have them on, so I don't feel as stupid. But my wife, we'll go swimming in the backyard. She's like, why don't you put this on, you know, so you don't get sun?

And I don't want to tell her, like, because it shows every unflattering curve. That's why. Like, even amongst my wife and son, I don't want to look like that. I look better with no shirt than with this elastic monstrosity squeezing things in. That's no good. Yeah. It takes your love handles and goes, look at this look at who you are look at the man you've become and you're like oh no you like grab them and uh oh it's so much easier

to work out like a cotton t-shirt and just deal with the uncomfortable sweat and the bad look because then at least you have like a little plausible deniability in the midsection the only thing worse is a my fit hey how's this look for you, huh? I like seeing my sides when it's really pressed in. Like, really pressed in right here. That looks good. It's an awful look. And by the way, we talked about this the other night,

but I'm afraid to wash mine. The belt, the MyZone belt, the actual belt part, I'm terrified to wash it because it might stop working. It's so gross, dude. I shower with mine. I've showered with it probably four times. Just the belt with the device on?

With the device on. Holy shit! There's a daredevil over here. Well, I started doing it when you told me I could swim. I corrected that before we started! But I already doing it when you told me I could swim. I corrected that before we started. But I already tested it. Oh, wow. So I showered with it.

And what it is is there's usually a few spare meps left. Like, you know, this would be whatever, an 800-mep workout. But if I shower with it, it's going to be like an 803-mep workout. Shower aggressively. You're like, you're going to get clean as fuck. Soaping, soaping, soaping. Jack, you want to get clean? Get in here.

Bring all the dogs in. I'm on a roll. That hurts. That hurts. It's too rough. Shut up. You're getting clean. Yeah.

I know it hurts, but I'm in the green. You got two of those exfoliating gloves on. And you're just car washing her. My face. My face. exfoliating gloves on and you're just car washing her my face have you guys experienced this error with it like it's only been the last couple days but i'll be at like 80 you know somewhere around 80 and then just out of nowhere, like continuing the same level, it'll go 80, 77, 71, 68, 62, 58. And I'm like, what? I'm still going just as hard. And then like a minute later, it'll go, you know, 58, 65, 69, 76, 77, 82.

Could it be? What the fuck is going on? It's missing pulses. Is that what's happening? Is it just maybe you're not wet enough? It just started two days ago, because up until then it would be working fine. But it'll go down and then sometimes only stay down in

the 50s for like 30 seconds. In my workouts, you can see going from 82 to 62 and it's not even a growth back, just a bounce. So I don't know what it is. Let me tell everybody about Stitch Fix and then maybe we can watch this video. I'm hoping the video's good. I didn don't know what it is. Let me tell everybody about Stitch Fix, and then maybe we can watch this video. I'm hoping the video's good. I didn't

pre-watch it, but Chiz thought it was a good thing he sent it to us. We'd like to thank Stitch Fix for sponsoring tonight's episode of PKA. Style? Some of us have it, and some of us don't. But just because a sense of style seems elusive to some doesn't mean it's impossible to attain. There's no time like the present to discover that style

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I kept all five of my items whenever I did it, and it just made sense. It was one of those deals like when you're at the grocery store and you get to the checkout, and she's like, you know, these are buy two, get one free. So you buy one more, you'll get another one for him. He's like, yeah, I'd be stupid not to get this. I don't want to leave money on the table here. Exactly. It just makes sense to keep all five items most of the time.

That's how Costco gets you. Like Sam's, Costco, any of those club memberships where it's like oh man i need drano for for my bathtub or my sink and it's like well why have a reasonable amount of drano when you could have a 50 gallon barrel of drano do you know for a fact you'll never have a clog in the future and it's like well no mr costco sales associate you shouldn't be here you've got much more potential than selling this barrel. You know what? Put it on.

I'm making a decision today. I'm not dealing with that. I'm getting some plumber. You ever get a cleaned, what do you call it? A clogged drain. You ever get that? I mean, I've used Drano on drains when they get hair in them and shit. My kitchen sink, i bet you have

to deal with that you see i don't have that issue with that with the enormous amounts of hair i don't have any dogs or and i'm not taylor so uh but i do have an issue in my kitchen like like where the uh the food um what do you call the thing that like grinds up food in your sink food oh uh garbage disposal garbage disposal like mine quit working and I don't want to replace it or work on it. I have this idea in my head that if I get under the sink and disconnect everything, then there's a bunch of like gunk and it's going to be disgusting. So I'm just like, I try to be careful about like not getting food down there. And I just scrape my plates in the garbage.

But what happened was, I guess it got a little bit clogged. So now whenever I run the dishwasher, gross food that's in the dishwasher comes up into the sink. And now the sink is clogged. So I'm fucking running Drano down that bitch and using a goddamn plunger on it to solve the problem. And I did that twice and it seems to have completely fixed the issue. But I feel like it's just going to come back. I think you want to hire a plumber. So I have replaced the garbage disposal and I don't think you'd like it. One, it is yucky. And two, it's a

little complicated as a plumbing job. You know, when I decided to do it, I thought I was just going to like unscrew the garbage disposal and screw the new one. But there's some flexible pipes leading to the back of the dishwasher and stuff that I didn't anticipate. So it wouldn't be a crazy thing to just hire a plumber and say, make this problem go away. I think I've got a lot of plumbing experience, honestly. Okay. I used to do it a lot, CPVC and PVC,

and just putting new joints on and T-joints and running lots of pipe. I've done it a lot. I don't want to. I'm with you. I'm with you 100%. I particularly dislike... I'm sorry, I cut with you 100 i particularly just i'm sorry i cut you off but plumbing i'm very passionately against plumbing i really really dislike it and and

the problem for plumbing for me isn't the yuckiness there's a yuck factor involved in about half a plumbing that doesn't kill me what kills me is the location every time i do plumbing i'm like laying on my back with like the sharp edge of a like the kickboard on your cabinet digging into my spine I'm in a crawl space with like snakes and bugs and like raccoon poop or something I it where you do plumbing is what kills it for me uh there's a couple tools that make it just a dream come true like if you if you've had to use a hacksaw to do a good bit of plumbing before uh it's it's just a nightmare because sometimes you're using a hacksaw in a really confined area and the biggest stroke you can make is like an inch so it's just like and your arm will burn out after a minute or two of that i'm just like

really hardly going like this even though it's close to masturbation but not close enough right different muscle groups different muscle groups so but so they make this uh this pvc pipe cutter that looks like something you would trim shrubbery with and it's it's like a ratchet thing you're like click click click click click click click and you're giving very little effort but this blade is just cutting straight through the pvc pipe clean as can be with minimal effort it's it's effort. When I got one of those for the first time, I was like, this is like a phaser. This is like giving me a Star Trek phaser. This is so much, click, click, click, click, click, click, cut.

It's brilliant. Did you cut the copper pipes with that tool? Oh, that's a different tool. That's the one that you go around and around and around. That's also fun to do, I felt like I've done a lot of that. The first time it scratches it, and you're like, I don't even see why this tool would work,

but okay. You tighten a little more, spin it around a little more. It doesn't take any time at all, and you're like, oh my God, I just made the perfect cut on copper where I meant to cut it. That's great.

It's all the things I wanted in a cut. Yeah. We converted some buildings from propane to natural gas one year, and it involved a shit ton of doing that. Is it copper? It's steel, but it's a similar device.

Oh, okay. I used it on a black pipe once, and it ruins it right away. Now, why would you go to natural gas over a clean burning propane? Because it's cheaper and you don't have to rely on those enormous fucking tanks.

It's just an underground line. Hank. My dad says butane's a bastard gas. Taste the meat, not the heat. that one remember when bobby said that yeah my dad is a bastard gas yeah i can't do bobby but like oh he's it's hard my dad what a fucking that's my purse i don't know you i've heard they're talking about bringing it back and having bobby be like a either a a late teenager or a young adult no just bring it back

the way it was king of the hill i hear you i like the idea that kyle's talking about but there's a new met groaning cartoon out do you guys know the name of it my daughter showed to me it's uh it's not good it's on netflix it's called like inch it's something like enchantment or something like that and i i i watched it and then i i sometimes i'll get an opinion yeah enchantment sometimes i get an opinion about a show and then i go online to to get my opinions verified by others and i found perfect validation of what I thought of the show I was like you know like she's a princess but she's also trying to be

like a warrior or something like that and and the two stories are really conflicting not because of like gender norms or or like standard storytelling arcs but just doesn't work it's clashing like like she should be one or the other like like like we've seen I don't remember what that Disney cartoon or Pixar cartoon is with the red haired chick with the bow and she's like the badass princess. I forget her name but the show was called Brave.

Or Mulan. That's when it works. I'm not a fucking sexist in real life. I love those. I love those stories of female empowerment and them going and doing a thing. But I watched this and I went online and there's this whole article

and it's exactly that. It's like, they try to do two things at once, but succeed at nothing. And I was like, yeah, that's kind of how I felt. It's called Disenchantment. And it's done. I watched maybe 15 minutes of it with my girl because we saw it and we're

like oh this looks exactly if you see it on netflix you'll notice the art style is the exact same thing as futurama and i love futurama like i think that's an awesome show and so i was like oh clearly the same guy so we started watching that and we got like 15 maybe 20 minutes in and it was just like this sucks like i haven't even tittered once i haven't laughed this isn't funny like it was a ham-handed kind of the only felt like a cash grab because i'm being contrarian i can think of cartoons that took whole seasons to get their vibe like okay parks and rec i think the first season's not their best one you know the the chris pratt character isn't worked out he's hateable.

The nurse, you know, is kind of weird. They don't hit their stride until season two. Bart Simpson, the Simpsons. People say the early Simpsons is great. Watch the very early stuff when Bart didn't have a good relationship with his dad. His dad choked him way too long.

I like that! Bart was the core of it. His dad didn't have much of a role. And like the voice being different in the first seasons like most of the time i can't go back and watch the first season of a cartoon show like the simpsons king of the hill family guy because all the voices are way different like go back and watch first season simpsons and like homer he's he's just he just sound boy what are you doing over there doing like it it does it sounds nothing like Homer it's weird I I suspect that if I know Kyle might be different

but if our viewers watch the first Simpson first season of the Simpsons they'll be like yeah you know what it actually did maybe hit its groove a year or two later so maybe I agree disenchantment I think I think that's the consensus that like first season isn't much to write home about. It's probably two through eight. It's probably three through eight is the ones that if you looked at the Emmys they won

or the writing staff that they had on board that was when Conan O'Brien was writing and guys like that or I can't think of the other guy's name who did cartoons. Smigel. I think Smigel worked with him at some point who did those cartoons for Saturday Night Live.

Did you ever see the cartoon on SNL called The Ambiguously Gay Duo? No. It's hilarious, Taylor. It's these two superheroes with enormous like cod pieces on them. Like big bulging dongs. Like they're pack in 12 inches at least

and like they live together and their names are like brett and tracy or something like that and like they always end up in something that looks very gay and like even the super villains will stop and they'll be like and they'll be like what like the way they fly through the air is like they get into like doggy style position and like move around really fast he's like quick on my back tracy away do they have a motorcycle ride too i forget i want to say it might be shaped like a dick yeah they're you know ambiguously gay but you have to be in real denial to think that those two are straight. I'll see if I can find anything of it that's not ridiculous.

Can we watch Kyle's video? Yeah, let's watch that. I'm at zero. I've got something for a bit later as well. It's pretty funny. Sorry. I'm all queued up at the McDonald's fight. We're waiting on me.

Trying to get it to fit Ready, set, play Oh shit So there's no audio In the bottom right Two people are just hitting each other I'm kind of missing the They're like grappling up against the drinking fountain right now I need more of a plot

To my fight scenes Am I alone in this? There's a description. Oh. Oh, now they're knocking the coffee over. She's kind of cute. She is not happy about this ketchup situation.

At approximately 11pm, the suspects entered the McDonald's restaurant from the employee back door and asked for ketchup. When the store manager said she could not be in the building, the suspect became combative. The suspect pushed, punched, and choked the victim. Can confirm. If there's any information regarding the identity of this vehicle, please contact this dude at Orange County Crime Stoppers. Wow.

That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Yeah, it was a real letdown, frankly. You know what I like? Go back to 22 seconds and play from there and you can see the guy outside in the drive-thru

area still asking for something as this is going on and you can see the employee break away long enough to grab like a uh you know honey mustard pack and walk over and give it to the guy so he can yeah well this isn't really my problem and i still need honey mustard so yeah give me a sec let's uh let's watch a little clip from the ambiguously gay duo. I time-stamped this. Because there's some intro to this.

They set it up and it's unnecessary. I'm ready. Ready, set, play. Not so fast, you two. I've disabled their control panel. Good work, Gary. He's patting him on the butt. Where's the entrance, Ace?

Let's just stick it right through the dumpster, Gary. Work it, Ace! Those pellets, they're trying to probe our most sensitive areas. I can feel it. Grab the plug by the mail end and stick it in the hole. Ha! Their freeze ray couldn't withstand the heat of your warm young flesh commissioner We make a great team you finger the perks and we give them our fists now who's being penetrated without expecting it Hmm looks all right to me

Alright looks good from here gary see you kids now what's everybody looking at i hear they're fruits it was a different time the letters on their shirts are ga it was a different time there would be a 2500 Buzzfeed articles about that within 2 seconds if they tried that today Stephen Colbert was a big part of that the one that always gets me is

Revenge of the Nerds the first one where at the end he rapes the jock's girlfriend by dressing up as the jock so she thinks she's having sex with her boyfriend but really it's the nerd in disguise i've never seen that movie yeah he takes the helmet off or whatever and she's like oh you're not my boyfriend and he's like she's like but that was great and he's like well that see that's the thing jocks only think about

sports nerds only think about sex and it's just like i don't think that meshes i think the jocks think about sports and sex sports and sex yeah and the nerds think about video games and sex you know we all split our time 17 year old boy i think about sex a lot i assume that's about the age a lot of those 80s a lot of those 80s movies were a little weird. You ever see Porky's? Yes! There's a lot of them. They're spying on the girls naked and stuff. I want to say the core plotline of Porky's is just

drilling holes in girls' locker rooms all the time. I loved that movie as a young kid because it was just like just tits! Right there! This is here right now i can see it revenge of the nerds was that rated r or something better like less than r there's some of those older movies they get away yeah they're straight up full frontal in revenge of the nerds there's one scene

where um i guess the girls do something they get it Oh, okay. And so they go and they sneak into the sorority house and install cameras. And then after that, they're just sitting there watching the security cameras, these hidden security cameras that the girls have no idea. And they're just like, we've got full bush. We've got full bush.

Red alert. They all surround the television. It really seemed like proper revenge at the time. Now it seems a little criminal. A little rapey. A little criminal. A little rapey. A little criminal. I think that's the perfect way to put it.

Yeah, you just can't do that. It's against the law. Plus, I can't imagine slipping a camera in the ceiling of anywhere in my house and me not instantly being like, wait, what? You'd be surprised. Oh, okay. I stand corrected.

See that play button behind you yes alright well you're right enjoy so the last article I linked you guys the New York Post one that says man dies after injecting silicone in genitals mom blames sex cult master I just linked a picture that

goes with that and would you use your discretion i'm not sure if this will be allowed to be shown there's no there's no nudity on it the picture that i sent and so you can see so basically what happened here is that guy in the middle of this photo wearing like the red beret is like the head honcho of this gay sex cult as it's being called by the mother of one of the the victims and all of those guys standing around him who are all very gay and very jacked are wearing chains around their neck because they're his pups oh god they all live together they all have to like sign over their earnings

to him they like it's like a basically a cult thing where like the mom is talking about in the article of like yeah he got into this where like the mom is talking about in the article of like yeah he got into this thing the the guy the guy who died is that lower left guy with the the very very red beard he's my favorite one oh and you can look at the bulge area on all of them and you can see the amount of silicone they have injected into them stop and pause on the bulge bottom right guy tell me you don't also see a human face in that bulge i see someone's face pushed up like through mesh yes like yeah totally like there's two eyes it looks like somebody's robbing a 7-eleven

top left look the guy's got a dilf shirt on dad i'd like to fuck yeah his dilf baseball cap and the main the main guy has both of his nipples pierced he's and let me let me read a couple the main guy's pretty jacked everyone else oh main guy is so jacked dude dead guy is pretty good too check out beard and give him another look the red beard dude i mean to say yeah he's clearly on steroids and clearly injecting a lot of silicone into their scrotums but here's a here's some a little bit from the article a washington kink enthusiast died last month after silicone injections in his genitals led to a fatal bleeding but his mom believes a gay sex cult is to blame

jack chapman a 20 year old australian living in seattle died from silicone embolism syndrome resulting in hemorrhaging in the lungs chapman who went by tank heathcliff uh tank heathcliff herfet her for tepon and pup tank was an active member of san francisco and later seattle's gay bdsm community he served as one of several slaves to master dylan hafertapin known as the nickname needle noodles and beef uh hadipin has thousands of followers on social media he's known for posting salacious photos with his slaves who he calls his pups uh chapman's mother is blaming him for turning her son into a dangerous body modification that resulted in his death and her quote describing it was like this she said it was devotion it was like some sort of clan

family like a cult and to prove their devotion to him they had to change their bodies and so this guy demanded that they inject silicone into each other's genitals and he eventually died from it and so start everything over yeah so i wrote of the thing we're recording when i said we are live i just wanted you to know your level of exposure. Basically, Harley, if you click... Click that picture. We're talking about these dudes. This picture. We're talking about this... There's a gay sex cult in Seattle.

He takes away from ending up in this group. How do we know? He's sitting on a balloon of silicone down there. There's no chair beneath me. I'm just sitting on a balloon of silicone down there. But yeah, this guy was like... There's no chair beneath me. I'm just sitting on my balls. I thought that was very interesting.

Oh, it is. But I feel like you're talking about these guys pejoratively when really you should focus on how awesome their bodies are. They're not 21. The body and the hustle. But I am definitely going to speak pejoratively About the leader of a gay sex cult Who forces his pups to inject their scrotums

With silicone to the point that they die You're only jealous because you can't fill out that g-string You know what? I wouldn't be allowed My upper body is dwarfed by these giants I could fill out that g-string with my human head And say what you will about these guys They're not ageist

Look at that guy on the back left. He's a very old man. He doesn't even have the silicone thing. That's just the effects of age. I can see he's got a g-string on underneath his camo shorts. Oh, I didn't even notice that. Yo, that link hard

crashed my Skype, by the way. Really? I clicked that link. It hard crashed my Skype. I've never seen Skype just fully click. Whoa, look at these guys. My skype by the way Really, I click that pink it hard crashed my skype. Oh Ever seen more skype just fully cool. Whoa look at these guys These guys have bad fake balls So they inject silicone into their scrotums to the point that they like that guy in the bottom left with the now I understand Kyle's room This is like I I'm sad that i'm looking at it i'm like

these are my people yeah that was a good way to start off with you so what's uh what's new with you man it's been a hot uh doing it doing a bunch of things i got i'm right now i'm currently in los angeles so i'm probably like two kilometers away from these guys on the map. I've got to close this picture. It's so ridiculous. It looks like Final Fantasy. If Final Fantasy was all characters

with fake balls, I don't know where I'm going. Oh, God. You guys know that show HQ? It's like the TV on the phone. Oh, yeah, yeah. I have a friend who plays that. Yeah, you do it and then you get money if you win. Yeah.

Yeah, Facebook just did their own version and I did like the – I'm like the Canadian host for now at least. Awesome. Yeah, so I've just been doing that for like the last few weeks. I can see why they picked you. You'd be good at that. How is it going? Do you enjoy it? You know, I'm happy you said that.

I don't say it about many things. I'm pretty bad at stuff sometimes, but I feel like I am good at this. But that being said, I mean, you know, I have a whole business that i'm running the jerky and the channel and you know my business partners are like what are you doing you're going to you're going to do this other job and it's like the pay isn't it doesn't even make sense and i'm just like switching it up a bit bro well literally i've been i've been flying to canada to film epic mealtime on the weekends, and then I come back here.

It's just weird being on someone else's set. You know what I mean? You're pretty much swamped 24-7 right now. Yeah, but maybe I hate my life or something low-key subconsciously, so I'm just constantly trying to fill it up with work. Because the second I'm by myself on a horse in Red Dead walking through the desert, maybe I just get sad or something. Maybe I'm just trying to pack in as much as I can. I'm not sure.

So what's the production of this show like? How are craft services? Are there people doting on you? Do you have production assistants as pretty much human slaves? It's Facebook. I've never done anything for facebook i mean i post it's they have money they give you 16 i thought you're going in the opposite direction

with that so they have a big budget yeah so it's like a huge like i got in there and they have like this crazy set the show's called confetti you guys wouldn't be able to access the canadian one you'd have to see the american one because it's like it's blocked um but they have like this ridiculous set like there's like 80 people there uh cameraman the crafty is like 50 foot long table there's like a huge flat screen in the dressing room and i'm just there like man these companies just – they never realized they're just making web content. Let's scale it back a bit. Maybe change all this for, I don't know, one iPhone. Make it happen.

You guys heard about that stuff with DeFi? No. DeFi, no. That's Smosh. Smosh Games. Okay. That corporation it went under and Smosh Games is now currently owned by the bank because the company that bought Smosh Games went bankrupt.

I'm out of the loop on this. We've got to talk more. I feel like everything you guys spoke about for the last three hours beyond just those guys and their fat balls and everything else, I feel like we operate in different circles. We actually just wrapped up the ball talk after three hours.

If you were with us earlier, you'd be up to speed on low-class fights at McDonald's, catch-up talk, and things like that. You can bring us up to speed on. You know what? I feel like I kind of know those things a bit. Maybe I was just destined for ball talk. How's the jerky business going?'m curious because it was it was booming last time you were on yeah well it just got picked up we just got all of them bought we have two

new flavors uh i don't know if i could say it i'm gonna send a message right now about it uh to see if i can mention it because then this will be the exclusive first mentioning about the other flavors release because I It's it's it's the third best-selling jerky in Walmart However, that's huge dude. You think so, but let me explain things that I'm learning Walmart only has three jerky things that i'm learning okay is walmart only has three jerky the thing is oberico is beating like that's that's pretty much uh what it comes down to like it's like yo third best-selling walmart a jerky like that's so amazing and it's like the first selling jerky in walmart is jack

jack links and that makes up 99.9 of all jerky sold at walmart secondly it's not a beef jerky which is a big deal it's a variety jerky beef jerkies are where the real money's at um another thing is when it's like it's like hey let's get we we want and sometimes they make the call and it's up to them it's like we want exposure for your jerky in the aisles uh and you got to do that and it's like okay let's do that it's like yeah so it's this little piece of paper like like a little piece of paper this big and sometimes you see it stuck out on an aisle and it just says like this aisle has this jerky you know you might never notice them at walmart uh it's like yeah sure let's do that it's like yeah so in every single walmart so that's 120 000 and you get a shelf talker in every walmart it's just to do that

and then it's like you know it's called a shelf talker i like the taylor knows that i'm happy you know there's a there's also a service where like you pay a service and you have to do it and basically like they go to walmart and they look at your product and they go okay it's on the shelf properly or they'll turn it and get an employee over and be like this is how you put it on the shelf that's a whole service that's like seventy thousand dollars it's totally worth it though like you have to do it you can't have your merchandise. No, no. Clients, you have to do it. You're made to do it. And then you find out, like, you know, like, yo, this shit's fucking crazy.

Man, we got all this jerky, and it's like, yeah, you make three cents per bag. It's like a YouTube CPM here. You know what I mean? At the end of the day, it's like putting up a popular video. YouTube CPM here. You know what I mean? At the end of the day, it's like putting up a popular video.

It's also a good thing for you that you're not beef and you're a variety jerky because then you can make the point to Walmart where it's like, well, of course I'm not competing with Jack Link's and Oberto.

I'm a specialty jerky. They're beef jerky. So, you know, if anything, I'm now a destination item that is bringing people who are interested in more types of jerky to the store. You know, of course I'm not competing with Jack Link's and

Oberto, but I'm still a valuable part of that aisle. That works better than you having a beef jerky section. I like that. I definitely like that angle of thinking and approaching Walmart, but I want Jack Link's to know that we're coming for that Sasquatch. Harley,

you may not know, Taylor has a background in marketing. That's what he does for a living even knew what they were was it shelf talkers yeah yeah he's a professional that's there's so many things about this they're like just like you guys know you're like i'm gonna pick up a camera and have fun and then people are like oh are you aware of even just i said before cpm you're like when cpm once upon a time 10 years ago you learned that i'm like going through that process now of like you know where like now after this conversation i will fucking best believe i'll remember shelf talkers next time i should like so we have these little they're called shelf talkers moron and put them on the shelf but yeah yeah, so it's interesting. But it's not an instant.

It's not an instant like life-changing win that you think. You've got to keep going. You've got to keep it happening. So we'll see how it goes. And then I'm doing the Facebook game show. But that – do you know what HQ is? For those that don't know Washington, by the way, and for you guys here, HQ is like at 6 p.m. And at 3 p.m. and at 9 p.m., you get a thing being like bing, and it's like HQ is live.

And then you open it up, and there's this Jewish guy there, and he's like a game show host. And he's like – he asks you 10 questions. And if you get all right, the cash prize is like $50,000. I'm a little confused. The Jewish game show host, is it you we're talking about? No. The Facebook one is the same thing. I was going to say same thing, just instead of that Jew, it's this Jew. Okay, okay.

And what does HQ stand for? I'm so mad about this Jew talk right now. You see, there's nothing more motivating than being able to assault hitler so that's good all right hang on i have a quite exactly harley hold those up for harley again harley guess who those are supposed to be is one of those you one of them's me but which one oh the red one i was gonna say the blue one looks like you remember amir amir on epic meal time yeah yeah absolutely like who's that supposed to be that's taylor oh taylor oh don't make us kiss oh no hell yeah keep it going like

born and raised in the Middle East. It is. Are they Rock'em Sock'ems or something? My Halloween, we do a Halloween episode every year, and I was a puppet show. So it was me in the middle and Kyle and Taylor, like, you know, hanging on the side from, I don't know what that like wooden tee thing is called, but I had that arranged.

And that was my Halloween costume. PKA, the puppet show. Oh, and my face was done up like a puppet, like makeup. And now a lucky listener will get to keep it in their home, in a center. A part of the deal is asked to be a centerpiece in your home. Super glue it to the coffee table. It should be. Every conversation should be about it.

It's like Annabelle. They're going to be haunted by these dolls. It's like the new Conjuring. I'm going to have to visit the subreddit and check out that costume. In a few seconds, I just decided to do a thing where people can win these if they promote the show somewhere, anywhere. Spotify, iTunes, comments, their own Facebook page, Instagram, whatever. Let me know that you said something cool about the podcast on the PKA subreddit, and one of you guys will win this thing. And then probably next week

someone else will. Oh, we kind of skipped over it earlier because we went to something else. But I know Harley's a huge comic guy. Well, Star Wars is different. And you both love Marvel stuff. I'm not going to say anything about Star Wars this episode. But you were epic last time. I'm not asking you to say it again. I'm not going to say anything about Star Wars this episode. But you were epic last time.

I'm not asking you to say it again. I'm not going to say anything this time. It's interesting to hear people talk about Star Wars. For the record though, I was on Team Harley for that. I was interested because I had no idea about any of that shit. I was looking at the subreddit after and people were like, man, I fucking hate Star Wars. But you know what?

Harley, yeah, that was fine. And I'm like, ah, ah, ah. Well, it's because anytime you hear anybody who's really into something talk about it like you enjoy it like even if it's something that would never when Hank talks about propane and propane accessories I give a fuck I wouldn't care otherwise but I care because he knows what he lives taylor got into candles for a bit and like um candles are not my thing i've never been a candle person but when taylor gets into candle talk i listen yeah and it's a whole new show candle talk and like the waves of candle production it's been at an all time low for like over a year now because for like a couple weeks I would just come home and just be like come and make some fucking candles after an exercise

Oh, you're making candles? Yeah, where I just melted a bunch of like soy wax and added sense That's like such a crazy like balancing of your chakras or I don't know It's like you're gonna fucking blast these weights bitch and then fucking go home turn the lights real low put on some Sade Make some fucking candles, baby Yeah, that's what I did. I had Enya on at an appropriate volume turn the lights real low put on some shaw day make some fucking candles i had i have anya on at an appropriate volume and i'm totally naked the whole time dangerous around wax but i'm a pro rock hard but then like what happens is you make your candles and it's like all right

you gotta wait two days to let your candles set and then i would come out and i'd have like 50 candles and i'd have like 50 candles. And I'd light a couple and be like, this is really good. But I wonder what these ones are like. And before I know it, I've got like 30 candles lit. Like it's a seance I'm hosting. And I burned through all of them. So it wasn't – it was a dumb hobby.

But I did it. I think it's a pretty awesome hobby. It's art. I asked this of Harley because you never know what you're going to get. What's under the hat this time? Imagine I pull it off and it's just a big. It's art. I asked this of Harley because you never know what you're going to get. What's under the hat this time? Imagine I pull it off and it's just a big pair of fat balls. Wow.

Regular person hair. It's a little messed up, but it's just standard kike hair. He's allowed to say it, Woody. He's allowed to say it. He has a hood pass yeah what would it be some tittering behind me what would a hood pass for jewish people be like a ghetto pass if what uh it would be kosher certified yeah so i have a hood pass a real life black person granted

yeah no i like that the ghetto pass works also i like that it goes both ways. A real life black person. Yes. Fully certified. His name is Forrest. He's dating our porn star guest. I know Forrest the black guy. He's got the one eye that's like he's an actor. He talks like he's just

trying to get his foot. He doesn't sound at all the way that he looks. Horace Whitaker's a fucking great actor. I like him a lot. Me too. He reminds me a little bit of John Goodman. I feel like he can be really, really powerful.

Really? I see him almost the polar opposite of John Goodman, where he's like, you know, I'm always much more quiet than, and I speak in an odd cadence, like that kind of shit, whereas John Goodman is screaming and shit. Have you ever seen the movie uh i can google it if you haven't but it's the one experiment no it's the one where he plays the african dictator oh okay no i know i know the movie you're talking about i haven't seen it though oh my fucking god also he's also this movie where it's like an experiment where it's like adrian brody's in it also and they give

half the people there no right the prison one also, and they give half the people there no rights. Oh, the prison one. Yeah. Yeah, and the other half, the people, they have all the power, and he becomes really power hungry. Yeah, that's a true story. Yeah, it's a true story. He flips. It's really great. And come on.

He was in Ghost Dog. My problem with Forrest – Oh. My problem with Forrest – I was going to say, how many – okay. I don't want it. I don't want it. My problem with Forrest Whitaker is he always seems to have the same role right like i'm a quiet guy who's a little more powerful and and dangerous than

my demeanor suggests and and you know by looking at me you'd think i'm kind of old a little chubby but i actually can beat up everyone else here on set. Every role. To Harley's point, that movie Experiment, the Experiment, I think it is, he's great in it because it shows what you just said. He starts out like Mr. Meek because it's just like a revamp of the Stanford Prison Experiment

where they're like, alright, you guys are guards, you guys are prisoners, and prisoners, you must obey everything the guards do. Guards, you can't let them do whatever the hell. He starts out being the nicer one and then you must obey everything the guards do guards you can't let him like do whatever the hell and he starts out like being the nicer one and then you guys should watch the movie but like the stanford prison experiment like it's pretty well known like the guards get out of hand the prisoners up like have an uprising and all that and he he takes the whole character arc from quiet you know whatever guy to pretty brutal so that's a great movie. I forgot I ever saw that. You've got to see The Last King of Scotland.

That's what it is? That's all my cue right now? Dude. Dude. Last King of Scotland. It's a true story. I'm trying to think of the African dictator's name. It was like E.B. Amini or something like that. But he... The whole country's his.

He wears a general uniform and uh there's this white american guy maybe american maybe british whatever who like comes in and sort of they become sort of friends and at first american guy and at first the white guys all right boys hell yeah usa first the white guy's like endeared with this guy he likes him he thinks he's trying to do good things but slowly he realizes like what kind of with this guy. He likes him. He thinks he's trying to do good things. But slowly he realizes what kind of man this guy actually is. And by the end, it's gone completely off the rails. This guy was a brutal, brutal fella.

Yeah, it's very violent. There's like war going on and stuff. Kyle may have seen this. Have you seen – it's a new Netflix movie, not episodic, but like a movie. And it seems to be Braveheart Part 2. Yeah, The Outlaw King. I watched it all. I saw it too.

I liked it. It's like, Kyle, you may have seen this. He's like, yes, I did. I saw all of it. I beat it. In the past. Kyle has two things. One, he consumes a lot of media.

And two, he remembers it really well. He'll remember actors. Yeah, it's Chris Pine, stars as Robert the Bruce, a real world person. He's featured obviously in Braveheart 1. I'm calling

it Braveheart. Braveheart, the Mel Gibson movie. And this sort of picks up sort of right in the closing parts of Braveheart. William Wallace dies at the beginning of this movie, and then it picks up sort of right in the closing parts of Braveheart. William Wallace dies at the beginning of this movie and then it picks up with everything. I didn't know that, man.

It's brand new. It just came out. I knew that, but I was just like yeah, I don't know. That's cool. Writing after this public display of William Wallace. Chris Pine hangs Major Dong a couple times. You didn't see his dick?

I was multitasking. I was probably exercising. You were about to see that dick tonight. Chris Pine's got a big dick. I'm going to fucking put that pause button to work. You know, you say big dick, but I'm a fan of these gentlemen that Taylor just linked. Well, he can't compete with them. When you say big dick, but I'm a fan of these gentlemen that Taylor just linked.

Well, he can't compete with them. When you say big dick and when I say big dick, it's a different thing. I wonder if you have a dick shot, if it's weird or whatever, if you could slap it around one or two times. Get it up to that 15% area. This was a mistake. Apparently, that's not how you take dick pics. Like if you fluff yourself a little bit. Yeah, you slap it around.

You give it like three, four slaps, and then you're like, well, this is how it always is. This is small. That's what I said. They all told me I was crazy. I was like, yeah, you know, like you pretend this is a flaccid dick, but really it's just flaccid plus plus, right? It's a little flaccid enhanced. And they were all like, Woody what are you the dumbest person way more comfortable walking around with my dick flaccid than walking around at like 20 percent knowing like oh i might see a hot maybe uh some hot actresses on this film and i might go full mast like you it's too risky

these days i feel like full mast is like yeah so, so what? It's natural. It's here now. What are we all going to do about it? It's here now. At that point, your dick gets a credit. It just rolls up. A projector. Boom. Really good movie.

I liked it a lot. There were several really good battle scenes in there. And something I really enjoy in a period, epic, war story like that. A lot of horse death. All right? I want to see some horses getting impaled. Why do I like it? Because it's real.

You know they didn't fuck around. When you see a horse get fucking disemboweled or impaled on a giant wooden spike, you know they did some shit. They're not really killing horses, unfortunately. Did Harley crash for you too he did you know what that means he clicked on the men again he couldn't resist couldn't take it couldn't take it he had to see the giant synthetically enhanced ball sack i got too excited about horse death no you clicked on the guys again that's what happened isn't it yeah i like that movie uh it's definitely worth a watch um oh the bit i'm glad you mentioned that i think i mentioned it earlier in the show but i i don't think i i talked about just how pumped i am i'm hoping it's midnight tonight that you know netflix

has those release dates and on the 16th which is midnight tonight two hours from now um the ballad of buster scruggs gets released the new coen brothers film uh that netflix had them made is that is that like that cowboy movie yes it's it's a yeah i just saw a trailer for that it looks so sick it looks great and uh it's it's sort of in the vein of oh brother where art thou kind of ridiculous and funny but also a bit grounded at the same time i'm so excited to see it like like i i uh i don't often talk to my dad about like like i don't when i text him or whatever it's it's not usually about movies we're just catching up but i was like i called him and i was like hey i'm about to send

you a link it'll be blue touch it once your fingernail open up into a youtube video i love that this is this like if it were if it were like bumble or t or Tinder or Old Horny Man or whatever dating websites he's on, he'd have been like, clickety-click, clickety-clack, and he'd have been in there. But it's a YouTube link, so I had to walk him through it a little bit, make sure he got in there. I was like, watch this movie trailer. You're going to love it. It's got a bunch of the guys from A Brother Where Art Thou in it. It's made by the same people. It's coming out on the 16th. And then I saw him last week, and he was like, that movie's coming out next week,

huh? On the 16th, right? And I was like, yeah, it is. Dad's like cowboys. Oh, that's what my dad and I watched. I sent my dad cowboy shit also, you know? Yeah, my dad's growing up. I'm a dad. Clint Eastwood.

I've seen every Clint Eastwood movie ever made. Every good Western ever made. Me and my dad would watch them all. I could talk for two hours about ranking the top ten best Westerns of all time. I could shit on John Wayne for at least a half an hour. And I could talk about how badass Clint Eastwood and Sergio Leone movies are for at least another half hour. I love that shit. Did you play Red Dead at all?

You know, it's on console, and I do everything on PC now. I really like having a shit ton of frames and 1440p, and I'm mouse and keyboard good. I won't say I'm an expert or anything, but I'm good at mouse and keyboard. When I play Call of Duty, I do pretty

fucking well, and when I play PUBG, I do pretty fucking well. If I went back to a controller, I'm definitely better on mouse and keyboard than I am on a controller, pretty fucking well and when i play black or uh pub g i do pretty fucking well and like like i if i went back to a controller i i'm definitely better on on mouse and keyboard than i am on a controller now because i just haven't done it in so damn long so i if it comes to pc i'll pick it up i'll definitely it'll definitely it'll come to pc that's for sure yeah i hope so you know it's just free money let's get that port made and let's do it. I think what they do is, because I'm playing it a lot, they purposely have some things that they do

that are bad on purpose. That are clearly little mistakes. Things in that game are character-oriented interactive. So if my character's looking here and there's a can over here and my character's there, but my

camera is looking here, like in most games you over here and my character's there but my camera is looking here like in most games you could interact and the character will turn around and grab it but instead you have to like turn your character around and it's gta style so like there's either like not moving the slowest walk ever or a sprint so you want to just turn your guy instead he takes like four giant steps over and like you want to make him look at it so then he could pick it up and when you pick it up it's so detailed and perfect you're like how do they not have a camera oriented pickup system and that's like one of the billion things that when it comes out on pc like next year they're gonna be like yeah we fix this that whatever because remember

like gta they like it came out they're like yeah but now it's in first person and anyone who loves gta it's like shit i'm gonna play it in first person they're gonna have changes i think it'll be out like you know it'll be out soon enough i think it's so smart that they do that because someone like myself i'm a fucking stupid idiot sucker i'm gonna straight up get both you know yep absolutely and i hope it's got mod support that'd be cool because like i've always said the saving grace of the Bethesda games has always been modders and making those things better like I was about to say something but I

won't and I hope they do it for Red Dead I feel like if you didn't say it it's probably really fucked up no I was going to I'm in all caps mode I think I know what you're going to say I was going to do this, but

this is a thing. Are you seeing something? Oh, I'm not scrolled down. Oh, I am. I see it. I was going to say all that. I can't believe you can't play Red Dead on PC yet. That seems so ass backwards. No, they're smart.

They want people to beat it and and pc gamers like we have a i'm a pc gamer also we have a billion things to do already we're good man it's like red dead when you're ready come to pc we're good you know yeah i'm and i i'm not worried about it i'm really enjoying cod uh we play a a bunch of Blackout on Call of Duty. Oh, yeah. I tried that a bunch. It was pretty cool. I felt like it was really like fucking poor PUBG, man.

I played COD and I was like, shit. I think it's better. I think it's better than PUBG. That's what I'm saying. It's like I played it and I was like, oh. Oh, poor PUBG is in your pity, PUBG, now. Oh, yeah. I was like, this is the – as soon as I played it, I like gotten a helicopter and I like pulled out a gun.

I was like, oh, fuck. I'm like, this is it's not going to beat Fortnite or compete with. But it's just like to me, I was like, I don't see why I would boot up PUBG now at this point with this right here. You know what I mean? It was you mentioned Fortnite. Have you seen ninjas like i don't know drama i should say anyway so oh but he got a kid banned off off for stream sniping him turns out the kid's not banned but yeah he tried to get a kid banned apparently when i saw that how

funny is that so what happens is he killed me you're a cheater. And it's like, shit, bro, you're like the most successful video game player in all of history, and you're still like, what? Cheating? I'm gonna report you. That's like... Can I lay it out? Alright, so what happened was, Shroud's playing the game, and a guy

kills Shroud, and Shroud accuses him of stream sniping, and he's like, emote, emote, emote, emoteote and then real quick the character does something like that and he's like that's it that's proof he stream sniping. Wait Ninja not Shroud I'm sorry it is Ninja and I said the wrong name thank you for clarifying

Michael Gerzerk Shroud is a Canadian icon so I won't have to sorry Shroud we got Gretzky? He's a fellow Leaf. Shroud, you and Ninja are peers in my head, and I mixed you up for a second.

So anyway, Ninja sees the guy emote and says, this guy is stream sniping, ban him. And on stream, he submits a ban report. Apparently, when Ninja puts in a ban report, it gets looked at, right? I put one in, who knows what the hell will happen. But when Ninja does it, it gets attention. They looked at it, they decided not to ban him.

And then the world goes bonkers against Ninja because really he just kind of got a little salty about dying in a game and they found a reason to fuss at him. Now I've seen some follow-ups to this. The guy has like six accounts. A bunch of them are named like After Ninja or like have Snipe in the name. Like remember Swastik?

This guy was like Sniper, Extreme Sniper 94 or something. He had other accounts. He was guilty. It's a problem. It's a real problem. I watch a lot of Shroud. And the stream sniping is bullshit. It really is shitty to like to

like fuck with their game i mean they're working there it's their job and you're interfering with that and these are guys who take a lot of pride in the high level at which they are playing these games and it's that prestige is what makes them so profitable not only to to viewers donators but to their sponsors and stuff and you and if you come in there and make them look bad it's it's like it's it's almost like a fan like robbing you of a of a of a catch in the outfield or something in baseball or something like that it's a partly watched because they're good at the game and if i stream snipe all the time then it makes them hard it's hard to look good when you play at a disadvantage and it's also frustrating right they're getting mad and you know that's not a good look sometimes

but uh so what i found most interesting about it is – Yeah, get a real job though. The planet is kind of finding a reason to fuss at Ninja. This isn't the only reason. There's videos like why people hate Ninja, this and that, and there's like a counter Ninja movement. It's probably not as big as the pro Ninja movement, but I find the drama of that. I feel like Drake would be streaming with them otherwise.

You know what I mean? I feel like rappers would hit up the counter ninja movement if it was as bumping as ninja. I have no qualms with ninja. Oh, no. Yeah, me neither. I don't watch him very much. I'm not his target. I just don't watch Fort.

I don't play the game. But I get excited for the game. I never touch it but like i see things like the like football player costumes i'm like oh cool if i gave a shit i would really give a shit and then i'll see like that they do the events like the block going into the lake and it makes i'm like yo that's sick if i ever had the patience to turn this game on i would probably be fucking stoked right now something about watching fortnite to me is like digitally impressive for lack of like digits being your fingers like have you ever watched someone who's really good at guitar hero and you're just yeah

it's like the building right building and play guitar really well you know ah regular people play guitar but guitar Guitar Hero, that's amazing. Yeah, but if you watch someone kick butt at Guitar Hero, you're like, oh, my God. Yeah, like how can his brain even process and translate that into finger movements? But when I watch, say, PUBG, for example, I know they're making a lot of good decisions and there's a lot of dexterity

and being able to hit the right pixel all the time. Shroud is particularly impressive at that but it it doesn't overwhelm in the same way that like guitar hero or fortnite does i think shroud owns harder in cod than he did in pub g i know i'm watching a whole bunch it's so fucking it's like it's like it's like sad almost it's so fun to watch him i'm like why am i gonna play the game when I could just watch his highlights? I'll watch it and then I'll go play. It'll get me pumped. And I swear, watching him play makes me better at the game.

That's not even an exaggeration. One million percent watching him play PUBG absolutely made me better at PUBG. I would do shit like run in school and run and then I'd look up where there's a a hole in the ceiling people would be like what how'd you know this i'm like bro you never look up there come on i always that's because like four days earlier i saw shroud look up there and like get a cow i was like what the fuck he's good at that like like he'll know all the little intricacies of the map you'll see him run along and he'll just look to his left and jump and grab a rooftop and hop up and you're like i didn't know you could do that there how does he know and you're like oh yeah that's know you could do that there. How does he know? And you're like, oh, yeah, that's right.

He does this 10 hours a day, seven days a week. Yeah, and he's been doing it since a teenager or whatever in other games. I heard him talk about his origin story the other day as it is. And it's like since he was a tiny child, his dad had a land center basically set up in the basement in the early 2000s when he's a little kid and they'd have land battles down there playing you know whatever like he's always just played ever he's been playing pc games fucking mouse and keyboard since he's like a he is a spartan warrior of pc yeah it's almost depressing like you aspire to be good at something meanwhile you're being compared to this guy who's been doing it since he was three years old.

And he's priming right now at like 24. Yeah. It's crazy. It's so fun to watch him. He definitely improves like my gameplay watching him play. Because you see his, just you see how he, not that I can move like him. But I aspire to move like him. Now I'm not going to stand fucking still and shoot and

then reload the gun when he he like quick scopes and then he sprints one step and slides and quick scopes so so to the enemy he's just this guy going slip slip slip slip slip like sliding around but on his screen he's just accuracy accuracy accuracy accuracy it's like how do you how do you fucking deal with that i would hate to play again i literally show i show it to friends like like like amir and he watches it and he's like cheating i don't think he's like no absolutely he goes he's absolutely cheating and he's like convinced he's a cheater and i'm like you're so stupid and then he's like google on you go on youtube let's go on youtube and there are like tons of videos being like shroud cheats yeah look how fast he's aiming cheating and i'm like this is like this is like ninja reporting someone that kills you but when he goes to land he wins just as dominantly he won that doritos cup the

other day at a land you know on their on their computers running their programs and everything he killed me in pub g one day i didn't feel like he cheated i felt like he beat the fucking shit out of me i never had a goddamn chance he opened the door and just knew to look to the right hey as soon as he comes to the door he just goes well you're dead and this takes my shit and leaves and i'm just like what oh that was oh that was shroud that was my chance that was my chance dude here's why i bet he's not cheating i'm not that guy now but it used to be i could watch a player play and know by the way he moved whether he was on controller, whether it was on mouse,

whether he had cheats, like I would just identify what a cheat look like and that he was cheating or not. If shroud had cheats, there are plenty of people who play enough who would recognize what that looks like. You know, they would have picked up on it.

I never once thought for a second that he was, there's cheats in CS go that I'm not an expert on it, but let you bunny hop more consistently. Sure. And that makes you run just a tiny bit faster. You do it for any time at all and the CSGO geniuses out there will catch you. They'll say, no, you're hitting

everyone. That's not possible. I'm just grabbing a package. I'm going to come right back, by the way. They'll start counting frames. Every time I talk about Shroud, I'll get a Redditdit message or something like you know he's a cheater right here's a lot of proof and i look at it and it's just like that's just him owning real hard and anticipating shots it's csgo do you know how many rounds that he played he knows where everybody is he knows where they're coming he's pre-firing he's just pre-firing i don't know shit about shroud or ninja but there's i know that they're both the fact that i've heard of them and i don't watch twitch or watch video game uh commentary or

whatever at all means they're gigantic they're enormous like there are enough people out there like just with any critical mass of any show or program or personality you get big enough there's going to be a sliver that want to get they want to headhunt you and get you and for an audience as big as his that's's probably tens of thousands of people trying to prove that he's cheating. If they could have, they would have by now. And there's no actual evidence he ever did, right? Correct, yeah.

Yeah, well, then he's not cheating. And Ninja is bigger than Shroud by a lot. Do they play the same game? No. Well, they have before. They'll jump around a lot like shroud has played a good bit of fortnight like way more fortnight than the average person because he streams and but right now shroud's game seems to be call of duty and ninja has come

over to call of duty and played uh and played it with they played duos together uh you know like playing the same team or whatever but for the most part ninja seems to be a fortnight guy and shroud Was a pub G guy and is now a cod guy But but but I don't know how many subscribers ninja has like it could be 200,000 I don't know it might be 400,000, but I know shroud has 50 how much is a ton on Twitch Fucking 50,000 is a fucking ton there Yeah, like this premium partner guys are getting three or four three $3.50 or something like that for each one a month. Jesus Christ.

That doesn't count as donations or as sponsorship deals or as winnings from tournaments. So people pay $3 a month? You pay $5 a month to subscribe for a tier one subscription, and then Twitch takes a cut of that. But Twitch takes less of a cut of that if you're like some sort of a premium partner kind of guy. Which makes sense because you're bringing people to the platform. A guy like Ninja

could go stream on freaking WoodyCraft and suddenly we'd be the second biggest streaming site in the world. Did you see Ninja on the Ellen show? I mean like he's kind of on mainstream. I saw him on CNBC, the money show. He was on Ellen playing Fortnite with her. He's in Android phone commercials,

like playing Fortnite and shit. I'm excited for him about that. I'm actually excited for the industry, right? And it's funny. I've said it always since the beginning. The accomplishments of everybody in this space just leapfrog the ones before. I was a titan compared to Blame Truth, right? You know, like the things that I got to do in the dancing competition and whatever.

And then the next gen came around, and they're doing things that are just far beyond what I did. And now Ninja's on top. He's on the Ellen show. It was a big deal to have any kind of commercial. Heck, you on the Call of Duty commercial, right? That was incredible, right? Now Ninja's leapfrogged that because that's what happens. And the next person that's big on YouTube after Ninja's time has come and gone

will be bigger than Chris Evans or something. It'll be giant. Yeah, it's really cool. I like to see it. I like seeing people succeed, especially when they clearly came from humble beginnings and sort of self-built in that space where there's so much competition,

so many other people trying to do exactly what they're trying to do. But there are those outliers. Harley recommended a book to me many years ago called Outliers and uh it's it's it's really interesting uh to see those people do that and i i like people who are great at a thing people who excel at a thing that are in the point zero zero one percent when there's so many others who are trying to do it like i don't know anything about basketball but i saw lebron james just passed um and like became the fourth biggest scorer i think he passed wilt chamberl passed and became the fourth biggest scorer. I think he passed Wilt Chamberlain and became the fourth highest scorer in NBA history.

Again, I don't know shit about basketball. I like to fucking troll people and talk about how bad it is sometimes, but I don't watch it. I don't care about basketball. But I definitely recognize that he's still a fairly young guy. He's in his early 30s, I think, and he's already the fourth. I think he's like 900 points away from Michael Jordan. Who is it? Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Jordan,

Kobe. I have it in front of me. Did I get it close? You're doing pretty good. I have him as third, so maybe he just passed fourth. And it goes Kobe, Jordan, LeBron, Wilt. Okay.

Where's Kareem Abdul-Jabbar on that list? I thought Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was number one. Me too. He is. Now that I click on the page as opposed to looking at the Google summary. Goddamn. All right. So he's fifth, it looks like.

Kareem, Malone, Bryant, Jordan, James, Wilt. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Carl Malone, Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, LeBron James, and Walt Chamberlain. Okay. Yeah. I don't know shit about basketball either, but I totally agree with your sentiment of like, that's why people like watching sports, I think, so much. It's like you're watching elite talent. Like you're watching something that people can't

do. The average person you search, you know, for six months, you're not going to find someone as good as like the worst person on that field or on that rink or on that court. That's why Michael Vick was so fun to watch, man. I just loved Michael Vick before he rape-murdered all those dogs.

I don't think he raped dogs. That's not bad. He absolutely did rape those dogs. He would put them in the rape stand and have them raped by the other dogs to make more rape those dogs. He would put them in the rape stand and have them raped by the other dogs to make more super strong dogs. Okay, because when you first told this story, I thought Michael Vick was using his own penis

in this scenario. No, no. Wait, what happened? We're back to dicks and balls again? Oh, we're talking about people who... Yeah, it's a tentpole topic. We're talking about people... Ha ha, tentpole.

We're talking about people who are head and shoulders above everyone else at a given thing. Outliers, basically. And I was just talking about how Michael Vick in his day was just the fastest human being on that fucking NFL field. And it was just so fun to watch him run circles around other people who had been chosen out of millions and millions of people who aspire to be NFL players. And are supposed to be fast and are supposed – you're never supposed to make that corner look like he's slow. You're never supposed to make the defense look slow.

And Michael Vick would just juke, juke, dodge, spin move. And he'd sprint up that sideline. And every step he took, it was like he's gaining. I remember those three years those three years of madden where it's like no you can't play the falcons don't choose the falcons or we're doing falcons versus falcons you go back far enough i wasn't madden i forget the game but barry sanders used to be amazing i think it was blitz is that possible yeah i was like no you can't you can't play one game very i think barry sanders had his own

game maybe it was like maybe i know what you're talking about because because like i think i watched like a youtube video of like most overpowered video game characters of all time and like barry sanders i think that was like number one maybe bo jackson had a big one too but yeah it might have been bo it was one of the others it was one of those guys it's bow jackson's we've talked about on the show before but did you ever watch that documentary that 30 for 30 that that espn thing about bow jackson i actually think i have seen it but i don't have your recall i read bono's bow so i feel like i i'm caught up on it yeah the uh the the the espn like uh their little documentaries yeah was so good like the stories of his childhood how The ESPN special

was so good. The stories of his childhood, how they'd have crabapple fights in his neighborhood and the kids would all be throwing crabapples at each other until Bo started playing and everybody would run and hide and he'd throw the crabapple so hard it'd go through their screen doors.

He's like Will Ferrell from Elf. Yes, exactly. He killed a farmer's hog one time by hitting it with a rock in the head. They said that he could stand in way steep water, jump, and do a backflip. His baseball coach was talking about,

his high school baseball coach moved into that school. And it was like his first day there. And he's being shown around campus. And he's like, and I saw this giant down by the by the baseball field, this this big grown man who was raking up. And I asked the principal, I said, who's that groundskeeper you have? He looks enormous. That's not a groundskeeper. That's Bo Jackson. He's in the 10th grade. He's going to be playing ball for you. And I knew it was going to be a good season.

There was this show. He would point at different points of the baseball field. This high school, he's like, them trees over there? Bo hit one Cleo with them trees one time. You see that factory down the road? Hit one to the factory one day all these ridiculous feats it yeah he he there was this show back in the day called the uh the all-stars and uh i think it was called the all-stars and it was the show about bo jacks

and michael jordan wayne gretzky and they like saved the world and like michael jacks michael jordan would throw basketballs and way Wayne Gretzky would have his hockey gear. And you never knew what Bo Jackson would be that episode. If he would be baseball or football. And I played football growing up Canadian football. So it doesn't count. And every time I would like start on like,

please help Bo Jackson's going to be with his shoulder pads. And like when he was, you just know it was going to be like a dope ass episode. And by the way, if there's one 30 for 30 i could highly recommend to you guys it's the rick flair one yes i knew you were gonna say that it's so good that's good i'm phenomenal broke there was a story that was cut out of it that joe rogan told about how um how he woke up in bed with this woman and his like 25 000 rolex is gone and and he and he thinks that she's taking it and he doesn't remember shit from the night before and he's like he's like what happened

to my watch and she's like don't you remember you took it off last night at the dinner table and it fell in your spaghetti and the waiter said something you said fuck it i got 10 of these bitches and walked out and left why did they keep that in i don't know he's so fucking outrageous but rick flair was rick flair is a character and a man at the same time it'd be like if hulk hogan was out out there body slamming people and fucking shaving people's heads and body slammed Gawker into pink. It's as if I were non-stop drinking and eating bacon right

now with hookers behind me. It was eight years, but not just that. I was getting younger and better at it. That's the magical part like even though you look at him you're like oh man he looks like kind of like a mutant a bit these days yeah he's like he's still doing it he's still doing it you should check out the uh this video of uh j lethal

he's a wrestler doing a rick flair impression and r Flair coming out, like him coming out, it's literally, it's literally, you must have seen it before, like Ric Flair yelling woo back and forth and a guy yelling woo at him, a black dude. But this, they have, it is like the best. It's the best. It's just the best ever. It's so fucking good. Oh, yeah, there it is.

I don't know if you guys check it all, but you should definitely put this on your queue. Where do you put these things now? Just in the chat. Oh shit, there it is. You guys have been talking here the whole time? Oh fuck. Bashing Jewish people in here. Oh!

You caught us. Fuck. That's just... I mean, we might as well watch it now yeah you're right yeah i'm queued up uh it's a second sometimes scared is a weird thing i click on and all it does scroll all right nature boy so this is time stamp that's what we want it to be 5 15 no no that's a mistake by me roger that should we at zero? Yeah, we can go to zero. Alright, six minutes and 25 seconds. Pretty long.

I'd watch it all. You just need to see a little bit. Okay, are we ready? Where are we? I'm at zero. Wait, you know what? I'll tell you right now you can go. Let's go to 15. 15 seconds because I just watched the first 15 seconds and we can take it from there. Ready, set, play.

Damn, he looks good. He looks healthy. He's got the testosterone of an 18-year-old. This is amazing. Did I hear that punk right there say anything about the four horsemen? Pretty good. The greatest group of men to ever grace God's green earth.

It sounds like Ricky even likes it he's like that's good Everybody mean mugging him. I had the privilege to be on the road up and down, late nights, parties, kissing the girls, and making them cry. Will B. Rick's like so impressed by it. As far as I'm concerned or no Wait till Ric Flair goes in on I don't even like wrestling and I like this the shoes the shoes

that's right what? come on let's see what you got you can throw let's see what you got you can throw all your balls away come on let's see what you got! You can throw your Rolex! Let's see what you got! You can throw all your clothes away, Rick! Come on! Let's see what you got!

You wanna see something? He looks so fucking old. He's got one shoe on. I like what he does here with his jacket. You wanna see it? You wanna see it? Yeah! Watch this! You driving dude. Is this what wrestling is? You can't beat me.

You can't do me. And I'm cutting you off right now. You're cutting me off. He's got a nice bicep, Ric Flair. Damn. Look at his bicep Ric Flair fat one. Oh, Jesus. Don't get me wrong. Don't you be upset because they tore Old Space Mountain down.

Don't be upset. But hey, be kind. Because of me, Rick. Oldest ride. Oldest ride. Longest line. Oh.

Well, Rick. I'm out! You're a buggering up there! You know I'm insane! You're a buggering up there! You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane!

You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane!

You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane! You know I'm insane damnedest thing I've ever seen! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Losing run! Nothing! Rolex word!

Kid stealing! Brother, watch this, girls! Here is Howard! Woo! Did he just pump his dick forward? I... He had a little thrust there! Press link.

Woo! Jesus! He's definitely dick pumping, okay. Has been shut down long enough, thanks to me! Shut your mouth! That's all we need. Alright. That's all we need. That's good shit. It's definitely dick pumping, okay? That's all we need Thanks going all four and a half minutes. That's fucking it was good though right it was worth it. Oh, yeah The second of professional wrestling in my whole life But if that's what it is I can see why people are entertained by it because that's hilarious Dude, I'm sorry. I'm always talking about like those are the parts

I actually like and I don't watch it But I watch the YouTube highlights that are like that that are like them talking shit and it being funny as hell and Ric Flair was Was one of the originators that one of the best at that early on he had that whole spiel that the Cadillac riding private jet flying limousine riding kiss stealing wheeling dealing rolex wearing son of a gun and then that is all that's basically rap 2018 he was like ahead of the game have you seen he's like the first mumble rapper roman reign are you guys familiar with this one yeah so look i'm i'm not up to speed on WWE and such, but Roman Reign is the champion, right?

He's got the universal title right now, and he's kind of a big deal, and they care about him and such. And I guess he's a villain of some sort because they kind of boo him. And he gets up there, and they boo him, and he just takes it in one last time. And by the way, booing isn't negative.

Not caring is negative. You can cheer, you can boo. Wrestlers understand that as long as you're getting attention, then it's a win. And then he explains that he's going to have to put this title down for a while because he's going to fight cancer.

Again. Again, yeah. I think he might have leukemia. He does. Yeah, he has leukemia. And he looks great, right? But he's been diagnosed with leukemia. He's been getting it checked up and he looks great right but he's been diagnosed with leukemia he's been getting it checked up on on a regular basis and it's he's come back it's been like 10 years or so yeah he's actually he's not a bad guy okay he's a good guy in fact he's like the best guy just like john cena i remember when i first started going to wrestling again like you know five six years ago i went to a wrestling thing

and john cena got announced and i was like oh everyone loves john cena and the boos were insane i was like why is everyone booing john cena i thought like he's the good guy and my friend there was like it's like lame like when you you like when like you know uh remember when like captain america was like hey hey, language to Tony Stark? Right. Playing up the whole lame thing. Even though Captain America is the fucking man, he's lame. And he always wins.

Superman always wins. John Cena was like the Superman of wrestling. And when the McMahon family has it selected who they want to be on top, no matter what they remain on top and like people don't like when someone's wrestling someone else and you know no matter what they're gonna win and roman reigns has just been like like he beat the undertaker at wrestlemania he's been like headliner at wrestlemania like six years in a row so people don't want to be force-fed something. And they don't want to be force-fed someone that they know is a product. And even though Roman Reigns is an excellent wrestler and phenomenal, they always had him win.

So other wrestlers who were very popular amongst the fans, WWE would be like, oh, great, now we'll just have Roman Reigns beat him and that'll be good for Roman. But it never worked that way. And so the resentment built up. And then, oh, great, now we'll just have Roman Reigns beat him, and that'll be good for Roman, but it never worked that way. And so the resentment built up. And then, yeah, then just a couple weeks ago he announced that he's been, you know, battling cancer, I think, for like 10 years or something.

And now it kind of puts him with that whole dynamic that you just brought up and the ring. It's like I almost feel like he's set up for like a fucking magical 30 for 30 as well, something like what Ric Flair had. Or maybe he's just kidding, and they're going to introduce a new character called Leukemia, and he's going to face off with him at WrestleMania. I don't think it's a scripted bit, but you can't be too trusting. The Leukemia returning could be a bit there's literally

shots of him getting chemo in the hospital on youtube they're devoted i'm sure that's steroids don't worry about that he's gonna need those in the cage all right he takes it by iv he gets steroids by the pint yeah ladder wrestling scene that i've laughed out loud at multiple times is that shock master one that ONA made fun of. Where they try and make the Shockmaster into a thing and they go, He is the Shockmaster! And they have a little boom

and then he comes through and trips on the 2x4 his Stormtrooper helmet falls off and he immediately has to scramble and put it back on. He has glitters on it. He's got glitter on it. He's got a big Jon Snow vest. Just a fur vest on it yeah he's got like a big like john snow vest just a fur vest on and the guy's overweight he's not he's not in good shape you're just like even if this worked out perfectly like even if he didn't fuck it up as far as i'm concerned he just saved them a whole bunch of

money for that nonsense he comes out and trips it's so fucking hilarious yeah i i i think that like the actual wrestling is is a little corny for me but like i don't know when i go back and i watch that clip of hulk hogan body slamming andre the giant like oh my god like he's picking that gigantic motherfucker that guy's huge he's like he was like 600 700 pounds or something nutty at that point in his career and i know andre's legs and knees have been basically shot. Like he can barely walk and, and, and he's going in there to like, I watched Andre's 30 for 32. It was very good. I like, like just from his humble beginnings and, and, and to like, to,

to the point of his career that had gotten kind of rough where he's touring around and doing stuff he doesn't want to do. And that, you know, obviously when he played in the princess bride like like all of that shit it's really good i i like uh those are some of my favorites i like andre the giant hulk hogan rick flair is my favorite and the rock the rock was so good there's a yeah the rock is incredible you know there's a broke you should watch that that andre the giant documentary by the way you guys should check it out whether you're into into wrestling or not, watching Andre the Giant documentary, just as good as the Ric Flair one. And he was so proud.

And by the way, he's like so gigantic and he had a crazy temper and he would yell at people. And he would also scare them to prank them. And he fucked with other wrestlers. Like even the year that Hogan beat Andre the Giant, Hogan went through the whole thing with him. And he goes, yeah, at the end here. And he said it Andre the Giant. Hogan went through the whole thing with him, and he goes, yeah, at the end here, and he said it to the camera, Hogan's like, even if it says Andre loses, in the ring he decides. Like it's his call no matter who you are.

And he was like, and I remember that day. He didn't tell me. So then I pin you, right? And Andre was like, we'll see at that time. Hogan was like, I went into it, I didn't know. He's like, when I pinned him and it went to three, he's like, I didn't know it was going to go to three. He's like, I had no idea that he was going to do it.

I thought at any point he could have threw me off, put me down, and pinned me. Imagine being like six foot six, six foot seven Hulk Hogan, a monster of a man, being like, you know, this other guy, he's making the rules in there. It doesn't matter how much I try. He can just one hand press my whole body off and then just like burp a sonic boom at me and knock me across the ring. Did you guys see Forrest Griffin grapple against Shaquille O'Neal? Amazing.

Who grappled against Shaq? I missed the first part. Forrest Griffin. He was the 205 pound UFC champion. It's pretty neat to see what happens when a skilled guy goes up against an enormous guy. There's just no way

he can beat Shaq. Shaq's just too big. I thought he was going to beat him actually. I think he was trying. Now it was only grappling. It was no striking or anything. I got the impression Forrest gave it his all, and he just couldn't get it. Have you seen that clip of the mountain sparring with Conor McGregor? Yeah.

Where it's like Conor gets him with a few, and at no point is the mountain ever like, oh, man, Conor McGregor's coming at me. It's just like a giant cave troll of a man ambling at his own speed towards connor as connor's like a flea yeah but he's connor's moving so fast i know that scenario where it's just like you gotta get hit a whole bunch of times because it's like i only have like play or kill and it's like you're you're you're fighting right now and i'm playing and so you're hitting me a whole bunch but if i start to fight like like you're you're you're fighting right now and i'm playing and so you're hitting

me a whole bunch but if i start to fight like then you're dead yeah and like so there's only it's like trying to like trying to catch like a rabbit in the backyard at my size is just like god i hope i don't kill it so i follow this a lot uh conor mcgregor went out there saying he won he's like did you see me i beat the mountain i was great the mountain he couldn't handle my speed he couldn't handle my moves etc etc and they they talked to the mountain about it he's like did you see me i beat the mountain i was great the mountain he couldn't handle my speed he couldn't handle my moves etc etc and they talked to the mountain about it he's like you know connor was preparing for a fight and it felt irresponsible to hurt him and that yeah so the mountain was just sort of letting connor bounce around it's the same way like if my 10 year old cousin is like boxing me and like at the end my

cousin's like I beat him I beat him real good I'm gonna be like yeah you did buddy you showed me what for you got me good like that's the equivalent of Connor being like yeah I took him down I'll do it again watch me I've wrestled with Colin before like years ago and I

like to imagine that yeah yeah we're messing around on the couch and I like to imagine that my son yeah yeah we're messing around on the couch and i like to imagine that he thought he beat me up i really like i really like because like we're wrestling around and i'm and like he's going hard and i'm going at about 20 or something like that i'm making sure i don't get hit and i'm making sure that he doesn't fall but i'm sitting on the couch and he's just all over me and he's fairly strong you know for he was 10 or 12 then and I you know I was just being careful don't want him to get hurt but we're having fun we're both laughing hard having a good time but but I'd let him like get me back and stuff and I'd be like ah let me go let me go and be like all right all right like ah and he'd come again

and I always like to imagine that he thought that he had bested me there I mean it's the same thing remember as a kid when you'd like give your grandpa a high five and he'd be like ow that was hard you're getting strong you'd be like hell yeah hell yeah feeling good thanks grandpa that's gonna get me through the weekend i never had any grandfather's thanks for that taylor yeah me either my more abusive alcoholics who died early deaths thanks yeah what was an abusive alcoholic that ran away from my father's family. The other had cancer. So thanks, Taylor. I'm sorry that you guys have shit-tier grandparents.

Did we have the same grandparents? It could be, bro. Oh, shit. Harley and I have wonderful, wholesome grandparents. Yeah. As far as you know, they probably had- They're getting younger, too. They had full child porn collections in your case and were self-loathing Jews in his case or something like that.

You really gave me the worst one. He had a whole collection of SS memorabilia and golden teeth from Auschwitz. On Howard Stern's show, they do these prank phone calls and they call into this thing called Tradio. It's a radio broadcast. Callers call in. They're like, hey, I'm selling a TV set. It's $400.

Call me at 678-222, and you can have it yourself. And then somebody who's listening calls in, and calls that guy directly and buys his television set. So they call in selling fake shit just to see how far they can get the host to go with this. And he's like, yep, I got some Jew teeth from Auschwitz. My grandfather had them in his collection. It's about two ounces of solid gold Jew teeth here. And I got a certificate of authenticity.

And he was like, okay, okay, what's your next product? And I was just like, holy shit, you're going to keep going? And I've got Himmler's bathrobe. That is such I'm thinking about it now I was trying to think about like Where do the Where do the Like the rap where does the rap game

Go from here like face Tattoos like a couple years back was just like Oh Gucci man got a face tattoo Whoa now they're all like have face tattoos I'm thinking like where do they go honestly Golden Jew teeth on a necklace is pretty fucking gangster move. That's like sick.

Just Jew teeth. It's like really. If you're talking about racist shit, this representation of Kyle seems. Yeah, I bet like with rap, they're going to have to go the complete opposite direction. Like five years from now the like hardcore rappers are gonna be wearing like dockers and lacoste and not have a

single tattoo because like once the counterculture is like in the same way that right now have the counterculture is more not having a beard and not having facial hair than having facial hair because it's become such a norm thing like people without tattoos are the minority now and people our age so like also the worst thing that can happen is when people jump on like something early like you know like i remember like seeing posts like i like even i had like shaved my beard at that point all that and i saw posts being like the beard is dead uh scientists say there's shit in beards no one likes beards anymore and like i see that i'm just like i'm not like beards are here but i'm also just like shut up there's way too many people and way too many people in touch and way too many niche things for people to be like this is now dead you know but it happens like there's always some article some buzzfeed or vice or something where

they're like this trend is now dead no one makes this joke or some shit like that it's some miserable loser who thought they'd be working at the new york times who now have to show up to work where they're like all right you got to have five articles done today every 45 minutes got to have another one done uh okay you can do a list on the top five cat breeds you can say hairstyles that are going out and coming in i don't actually know much about hair shut up this is buzzfeed you don't have to know google it and you'll find some gawker list and just rip it! You know, like, that's what those blogger people do

all day, is just make low-effort, ridiculous, keyword-heavy articles that are meant to dupe people. And that would be not fulfilling, I wouldn't think. Especially if you went to J-school, assuming that you'd be, like, writing about the president, or you know, some congressman or something. Well, let me slip in an advertisement advertisement here tell everyone about audible this is the time of year when everyone

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that I want to get into I... One thing I really appreciate is who's reading this book to me? It's a big deal for me. If I start something and I don't like who's reading it to me, it's a no-go. It's one of the things

that's nice about Audible. If you don't like it, get rid of it. Find something else you do like. I really like the Martian has been probably... Obviously, Game of Thrones. I listened to those with Roy Detrice doing an amazing job. The Martian really been probably, well, obviously, Game of Thrones. I listened to those with Roy DeTriest doing an amazing job. But The Martian really stuck out to me.

It's great. I listened to that on a couple of flights and dug it so much. I had seen the movie beforehand, but they really go nitty-gritty with the science aspect of it, which I kind of nerded out to listening to the audiobook,

so I appreciated that a lot. Like the actual farming yeah i'm gonna give your audience a little uh an audible recommendation yeah sci-fi it's called the three body problem and i just confirmed it is on audible uh three body problem and uh it's sci-fi and i thought i liked sci-fi but this is heavy sci-fi and i recommend everyone checks it out if they want it it's great though but this is what i knew and it's not really spoilers but this is what i knew going into it was that there was this uh this girl who had uh she basically she was a scientist and she she saw saw her dad, uh, die during like, uh,

you know, uh, China back in the day. And it kind of, it just kind of affected her in a bad way, but she was still a scientist that she got approached by this organization that was like, let's see if there's aliens out there. She signed up and, uh, she was messing around at night and basically sent out a message using the sun that was able to send the message out and it reached this planet and an alien responded saying do not respond i don't know where you are but i am i am a rare pacifist in a very vicious species of aliens that don't respect beauty or anything of the sort

do not respond to this if you respond they will triangulate your location they will come and they will kill you all and she saw the message she was like i fucking hate humans let's see what happens and she responds what a bitch and if this is that's how some people feel other people are like oh well i'm on the alien side. I want to help the aliens in their victory against Earth. It's called The Three-Body Problem. The first book is called The Three-Body Problem. Then there's Dark Forest.

And I'm not on the third one yet, but I heard the ending of the series is incredible. It's three books. But they refer to the three books as three-body problems, just kind of like how A Song of Ice and fire everyone just calls it game of thrones on the first book um but it's heavy sci-fi and i could say that what does that expression mean heavy side what it's just like like you know you're like oh like it's a planet where people have laser swords and they have blaster guns and they shoot green men you're like oh sci-fi this is sci-fi where it's like you know uh this this planet is you know uh 15 million au from the the the the gamma belt in the in the milky way like and it's referencing real shit it references like actual the guys like uh i

i i forget what he is the author but uh it was chinese um and it's translated to english and it like it's just very technical at first the sci-fi and very realistic um and so there are aspects of it that are just like it's far beyond my love for star wars you know what i mean how like star trek is i would say heavier sci-fi to an extent than star wars or you know it's more philosophical even this is like a very realistic approach it's like okay aliens are coming what are the realistic approach for us like they say like how it takes the aliens it's going to take them 400 years to get here by traveling light speed but they also have to factor in slowing down enough to also not go past our galaxy and the slowdown process takes

40 years alone and he breaks down the calculations of how long it'll take them there you hear conversations between scientists and how like some people are like well we're gonna have to find a new planet they're like that's not realistic because of this and then are like, well, we're going to have to find a new planet. They're like, that's not realistic because of this. And then it's like, well, then we have to go and we have to make a huge ship that we could all live on for years. And they're like, that's not realistic because of this. And it's like, well, then we have to prepare for war against these aliens. That's not realistic because of this. And there's more elements beyond why they can't just prepare for war.

The aliens do something that prevent us from from basically you've got me progressing yeah that sounds really interesting did you read it or hear it i heard it oh i listened i listened to the uh the uh audiobook i bought it and now i'm just bitter because i saw it's on audible and i should have used your code instead. Yeah, man. Don't be like Harley out there, View. Yeah. I think it's called the three-body problem. Yeah, three-body problem. That sounds like a really interesting story. I want to do a long drive just to absorb it now.

Yeah, yeah, totally. And it's interesting. And it's heavy at first, but I'm on the second one. I'll tell you the second one is even better. And the story's just been like this. And at first you're like on the second one i'll tell you the second one is even better and like it's the story's just been like this and at first you're like what's happening because there's a game in it too like an oasis style red player ready player one game it's confusing there's multiple characters you don't connect with enough of them but there's one there's just one quote in it that

i thought was no oh no timing gotta get the one quote when he gets back i feel like this maybe i was... No! Oh, no. Timing. Gotta get the one quote when he gets back. Maybe I could tell everybody about eBay before he makes it back. Should I risk it? I bet you could. I bet he clicked on the gay men again. Yeah, he just keeps going back to those guys. Can't get enough. Go ahead, Kyle. Looks like he'll be a...

I clicked on the balls and misclicked. Yeah. I don't know why i kept it up there i lost you right as you were saying did you really click on the balls i can't tell if you're no i didn't i didn't skype is just not going well for me um they uh there's this thing it's like the the scientists every scientist is just like accepted the fact like ignorance is bliss type thing. Every scientist is like, we're dead. We're fucked. We're fucked.

But this like cigarette smoking, just like grimy Chinese detective, like police detective that no one liked because he's just so blunt and straightforward is there. And he's like, I got to ask you guys. Yeah, you guys think you're so smart. He's like, what are the chances? And they're like, no chance. He's like, there's always a chance. And they're like laughing at him. They're like, you fool. Like when they get here we're insects and he's like i want to show you guys something and they hop in his car and he drives to like his chinese farm town

and uh he's like yeah this is like our crops and stuff they're like yeah it's disgusting can we get out of here please it's infested with locusts and he's like no that's my point don't you have bug spray in your house don't we all have bug spray in our house don't we all have tons of insecticide haven't we used the pinnacle of our technology to get rid of locusts since the dawn of time we've battled the locusts yet look around you they're living their life just as they always have he's like so when these aliens get here you you better hope we're insects. And I was like, shit. I'm like, that probably sounds better in Chinese even.

But like I was like. What's funny about the audio book, by the way, is like it's an English dude. You know? So he's like, and then they went into the room and you spoke to. Okay. I'm doing it. And then they went into the room and Ye Shi Xin spoke to like every name. Okay, I'm doing it. He delivered Chinese names like perfectly.

But yeah, check it out. Yeah, that sounds pretty cool. Dark Forest and Death's End, I think, is the third part three. Let me get our last ad of the night and then we'll have all those out of the way. Ever think vaping is too expensive? Ever wish you didn't need to buy batteries, coils, a tank, and a bottle just to get started vaping?

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much bigger hit much more consistent and the uh and how much longer it lasts than the Juul. There's no other nicotine-delivering device that I use more than the eBay. That's 100% true? Yeah. Where were we? We were talking about space before that. I think it was

Dicks and Balls. Let's get back to Dicks and Balls. I do have a thing. It's a little bit... I've got a gaming thing real quick because I wanted to ask Harley. Because I know you've played Magic before. Have you played Magic on PC,

the new Magic the Gathering Arena yet? No, it's the card game? It's the card-based style? Yeah, but it's not Magic the Gathering Online, which had that really terrible interface and it didn the card yeah but it's not magic the gathering online which had that like really terrible interface that didn't work right it's really smooth free to play just magic gathering online you should it's so much fun you don't need to put any money into it like that's the biggest thing well here's here's my here's my experience with magic it's pretty

interesting and i've had such a crazy respect for bl Blizzard for the longest time based on this. But a friend of mine like five years ago, whatever, was like, oh, you ever played Hearthstone? Hearthstone? I was like, no. I sat down and I played it. I never knew how to play Magic in my life. I played Hearthstone for like four hours. Then I called up my cousin who's played Magic a whole bunch.

And I called him. I was like, yo, Matt. He was like, what's up? I'm like, I think i know how to play magic now he's like why i'm like because i think i just got like an introduction to bobo magic through hearthstone and he's like all right come by i went there because i used to just take the cards and read the flavor text and i think they were so fucking cool and trippy and like i love that shit um so i went to his house we played it a bit but i

didn't want a deck or anything and i downloaded this magic the gathering game on the ipad and it was great you played against the computer and stuff but it taught you all the rules and everything like that and i was just like that's all i know but like if there's a one on computer like i'm absolutely into checking that out especially if it's free to play because yeah yeah they give you i like that stuff like i like i've i've been like i played this game called mansion of madness lately which is so cool you've heard of it no i haven't heard of it oh it's like strategy it's yeah all of us together we'd be like co-op and it's like you choose a character and then you're given this like scenario and you like press play on the ipad and the ipad is like all four of you are drinking and socializing with

one another in the hotel room when there's a pounding on the door a strange voice none of you have ever heard before he's saying open the door i'm gonna kill you all and then it's like that's not convincing at all i know and it's like put down this card and it's like a room and like you put it down and it's like the door is here there are two windows that you can leave and there's a door to the adjacent room and then it stops and now us we're all there and like you know we're all different characters i'm like yo open the fucking door up like fuck this guy up someone's like wait maybe let's look through the peep people see who he is and someone's like why even mess around let's just bounce out the window right now fuck this guy you know or

someone else like let's literally blast through the door kick the door down and it's just it's kind of like a co-op role-playing game seems like a little bit like dnd in a way totally dnd but the dungeon masters is the ipad so you you click on the ipad and say like you touch the door uh like you know kyle looks through the people and it's like you look through the people and you know it's like roll this dice you roll the dice depending on what your stats are and like what if you put in the ipad which if you pass the dice roll or not and it's like you it's like you let's say he failed it's like you go to look through it and you hear a disgusting noise on the other side of the of the door you can't bear to look through it you know yeah that sounds like a lot of fun

i think you could play up to five people and i think they recommend at least three people we do this uh thing with there's a pretty expensive level patreon where we play games with them i wonder if this would be a good fit oh for sure i really think it would i need an ipad or can you just play it on your pc you don't need an ipad you could use a book or a person can do it but the ipad thing is just so simple but i don't know if they have a pc app version of it but they must and i don't have an apple phone either so like yeah we do speaking of that if you want to become one of those fancy patrons it's only 500 a500 a month. You get all of the benefits of the lower tiers

of Patreon. You get to come and play games with us for a few hours every month. Just the five or six of us, whatever it ends up being when Chiz gets involved. We played Monopoly last month. Last time it was all three hosts, Chiz and of course the Patreon. Noah!

I like Noah. Yo, honestly, it's on Steam, the Dungeon Master version of it. If this is it, yeah, the companion app. I just sent you the link. So you guys have it there. It's so fucking dope. It was awesome. And it depends.

The game could be like 60 to 90 minutes or it could be like three hours you know is it free it says it's free and it that just seems seemed pretty cheap probably froze again um looks like well if you want the dlc free and then ten dollars for the dlc maybe that's it maybe it's the first hits free kind of thing yeah maybe so i don't know i'll play whatever um noah said he enjoyed the the monopoly with us last time i i like monopoly personally i suppose it's you asked if it was free and my jewish computer instantly crashed the board game board game is what you have to buy so the companion app is free um but it's it's sick this you guys would have a fun time with it. So if we were to play

it for the first time, would we play the free version or get one of the DLCs or both of them? You have to buy the board game and the companion app just makes it easier. So we need a physical board at our desk. The physical board? But like I mean if you just put a camera up on Skype

and you see the board, only one person needs to move the pieces around. You don't need to hide anything from one another. The only thing, if you just put a camera up on Skype and you see the board, only one person needs to move the pieces around. You don't need to hide anything from one another. The only thing is if you – like you can die. If one person dies, everyone loses. But people can go insane if they suffer enough mental trauma. I would insane. And sometimes being insane, that's when the person gets a secret card and it might be like kill one person.

Make sure one of your teammates dies and you win. You are the winner. Or it will be like my card I got was you're just suspicious. You win the normal rules. So as soon as I got insane, everyone is like, Harley, should we trust you? And I'm like, of course, you guys can still trust me. Like I know it doesn't sound sound you guys know i'm insane but trust me they're like what's your card say i'm like nothing it's the same the same requirements as wing they're like god damn it

at least get creative with it and i'm like no that's literally what it says they're like give us all your weapons i'm like fine no no knife this sounds like a ton of fun. Right up my alley. I would love this. You could be Dungeon Master, Taylor. No, the computer's done it. It's built in, so we all get to play. No, you all play. I misunderstood when you said one person had to buy the board game.

Because we need a physical representation of what we're all doing and everything. Yeah, so one person would have to stream the board and move the pieces i would assume right the app which where people are on the board so the dungeon master is the one who makes the story up it usually vocally you know he's he's telling the tale you would do your moves like be like okay let's bash the door okay you do that whatever everyone does their moves then the the dungeon mask like you press like turns are done you press it on the app and then you hear like you know creepy music and it's like the front

door opens and two cult members walk in one of them is holding a knife the other one is holding a hammer they both move towards the closest of you guys that has the least amount of points in agility they swing that person has to roll now and then that person rolls it's like you fail you put it on the ipad if you fail and it's like you suffer one horror trauma and two blood damage so this is just like short-term dnd where it's like you're not building a character forever you're just getting in and out that sounds like more fun i am pleased to say i 75 understand understand, which guarantees I won't be Dungeon Master. Yeah.

No one will be Dungeon Master. No one will be Dungeon Master. Okay, that falls in the other 25, apparently. You actually do understand it. Wait, what? Yeah, I'd be down to play this. Have either of you guys... Oh, I'm totally down to play this.

Thanks for bringing this up harley like have what do you know when you were younger you played dnd kyle have you ever tried it no no no it's more fun than you would think oh i'm sure it is i can't believe i went through my whole life being the geek that i am and only realizing like three years ago that like the best fucking game in the entire world is our imagination. And it's D&D. How geeky could you have been? Because you're like six foot seven. You played football, probably varsity.

It was a lie. It was all a stupid, nerdy, gay lie. It was all made up. He's 5'8". I was just joking. He's not even canadian no i always like i'd be like i was like playing video games since like day one i would like i would like have football friends and i i was close to them but i do tend to be friends with everyone kind of and i would have like football friends and then i'd invite like my other friends and like like my other friends would be like your football friends are weird and like my football friends like yo those guys are super smelly and gay like nerdy dudes you know and it's just like

i'm like hey man we're all smelly gay nerdy dudes that also play football and they're like no just you your friends have to leave it's funny that it goes both ways, right? Like I pictured it like this. We all know console and PC gamers, right? PC gamers say console gamers are like smelly, nerdy pieces of shit and we are the master race. And then console gamers on their side say, what, no, why can't we all be friends? We're all gamers, right?

So consequently, like PC looks down on console. Console wants to be nice. There's one group on top and then consoles go like wow Nintendo Switch that's so lame Xbox is the best from what I can I'm not like my finger is not on the pulse of the gaming

community whatsoever but just from like seeing like the master race meme joking thing it seems like the relationship is like PC is like yours sucks your frame rate sucks your games suck and we're better than you and then the console side is like hey before we go out and do something let's play a couple hours of cod is someone saying something like like that kind of thing like where it doesn't seem like console people take it seriously enough to care

at all like for the most part right i'm sure there's some hardcore console people take it seriously enough to care at all. Like, for the most part, right? I'm sure there are some hardcore console people. Like, someone's going to comment and be like, you retard. And you're right, I'm a fat-headed retard. I've never denied that. But, like, yeah, it does seem to be, like, one of those one-way battles. Like, the same way that, like, on the hockey subreddit, like, someone will, like, bring up, like, basketball or football. Usually football. And they'll be like, actually, like bring up like basketball or football usually football

and they'll be like actually hockey's a better sport than football and here's five reasons why and it's like settle down it's so funny nobody cares you're just like yo they're actually different yeah it's like nobody's coming for you you can you can like your sport all you want like i don't know sometimes hockey does that you know please love our sport type thing like you don't understand hockey's really great as soon as hdtv takes over everyone's gonna love hockey and then hdtv took over and they're like you should really see it in person hockey's quite wonderful you'll you'll understand someday we do not want hockey to get any more popular the more popular it gets the more they're going to push back against fighting and there's already

not enough fighting in the league. Taylor, I'm on your team with this. You've sold it for me. Harley, did you need to bounce soon? Yes. I came right here from work and I haven't eaten or anything. Yeah, I hear you. Yeah, if you want to go, that's cool.

Guys, let me know when you play that game. I might want to link up in there also. I would love that. I wanted to say it, but I didn't want to when you play that game. I might want to link up in there also. I would love that. I wanted to say it, but I didn't want to put you on the spot. No, no. Let me know when that's going down. Millions of people might be. Yeah.

Yeah. But go. If that's going down, let me know about it. Inform me because it's really dope. It's so sick. And if you ever play D&D, I want to be there too. Yeah. Because it's really hard as an adult to find people that play D&D.

Especially since I'm like, I've played it twice before. One of them was actually with the Quarter Digital guys on the Node channel. So the six hour game is up there. And it's really fucking phenomenal. And I also recommend Harmon Quest. If you guys have ever watched that show. They just play D&D and he just

animates it. It's phenomenal. Yeah. He's selling me. It's hard to find people there's this uh iphone meme you're like great you know took you 10 years to make uh facetime multi-people but now i'm a grown-up and i don't have friends so would have been so clutch years ago yeah all. All right. Yo, thanks so much for having me, guys. Yeah, anything you want to pimp? Yeah. Harley Morinstein, come find me everywhere. All right, fair enough.

Get me HarleyPlays on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok. I don't know how to use that yet. No, HarleyPlays on everything. That's pretty much it. Oh, I stream on everything. That's pretty much it. Oh, Oh, I stream on Facebook almost every day. FB dot GG slash Harley Mornstein.

That's my Facebook gaming streaming account. It'd be cool if you, if you, yeah. All right. I love you guys. Thank you so much for having me, by the way. This is all coming on.

I always enjoy it. Peace. Woody. Have you seen, I don't, uh, the dance from the season finale of Sunny in Philadelphia definitely not no I'm not caught up this year so unfortunately it has music on it so so so option

a is we don't watch it option b is we watch it with no audio um and option c is we just talk about it let's go with c maybe umimate Rage, if you see this, perhaps you can put a link in the timeline to help people enjoy the show. Yeah. It's really good. Basically, Mac wants to come out to his father as gay, and so he does it through this sort of, through this dance. In a very gay way it's i didn't

think it was that gay it's like ballet no i haven't watched hardly any of this season it's ballet with a woman and they're dancing together and it's very emotional and he must have trained for this for months and months it's beautiful it's beautiful at the end danny devito's crying it's it's so good it's so good i have to watch it now yeah i mean i mean i'll put a link in here if you want to like watch it later or whatever but uh but but it was it was very good i i finished the season off where would you rate the season like pretty subpar overall yeah that's what i'm worried about i don't want to middle of the road middle the road i i so there have been a

season so far it's not the weakest season so far season one is the weakest season oh that one doesn't count there's no devito of the devito seasons then i don't know there were a couple of episodes that really stood out i i can't they're not popping in my head right now but there were two or three episodes oh the sexual the sexual harassment episode was up there with just about everything they've ever done. The Super Bowl episodes weren't great, but kind of funny. They did this kind of parody of Home Alone where Charlie was alone in the bar. And I don't remember what he thought was coming to get him, but he was safeguarding the bar against intruders, Home Alone style. And then, of course, he ends up falling into all the traps himself and getting terribly mauled as he as he goes and uh that you know it this this last

episode wasn't that funny but i was just blown away by the dance it was so it was so freaking good it's five minutes of of like dancing at the end and and it's not like just a camera on a guy in a bright room dancing. Like when the camera's on the audience, it's like the real world. But when the camera turns back to Mac, it's like a fantasy world that doesn't even exist where it's black and white and it's pouring rain. And like the surface they're dancing on seems to be like this really slick, smooth surface that you can sort of run and slide on your knees on and stuff and the girl is incredible at dancing and and and so is he they're both very good it was it was cool to see so yeah subpar season overall you had dennis was missing in several of the episodes of course the all girl wade boggs episode was real garbage um and uh i want to say

like the first episode i thought was garbage how they do an all girl episode like there's only one there's only d and then who with the waitress the waitress artemis um max um excuse me charl yeah max mom and um i can't think of who else but but yeah it sounds terrible the waitress has never been funny artemis i think can be very funny in the right context but not like independently usually playing off of frank is when she's funny but max mom once again the only funny version of her was the one when they made the reality show where dennis added like fart noises and things into their life like that she might have been the she was one of the reality show where Dennis added fart noises and things into their life. That was funny. She was one of the funniest parts because

they literally recreate the Boggs challenge. They all just get on a plane and drink. And as everyone's boarding, she's like, why is that black sitting up there? And Dee is like, whoa! Whoa, that's racist. I don't hear from you a lot.

That's okay. Alright, so that's who you are don't hear from you a lot you that's okay all right that's who you are i'm not gonna finish the season now that was the only laugh like like like honestly go to imdb and like see where this season ranked and you could probably follow along and just skip a few episodes because like i didn't love the football the Super Bowl episodes. They were just kind of meh. I really liked this dancing episode. I really liked the sexual harassment

episode. I fucking hate when the shows switch out writers for no reason. You have a winning formula. Don't change it. And Dennis was missing in several episodes. He was missing in the 10th episode um he was mentioned like behind the scenes why he um well it's that he was doing that show

with patton oswalt right yeah yeah and and they had some sort of contract negotiation thing going on uh but i think it was probably the and i've seen all of that show he does with patton oswalt where funny basically he's dennis but he's's Dennis as a high school teacher who um wants to it he was like up for a college professor position and he didn't get it and so now he's teaching high school and so he he tells the high school biology class I think it's called AP bio and he tells the high school biology class like we won't be learning any biology this year your job is to help me destroy this man and it's it's his you know his competitor who got the professorship and uh there's one episode where like this girl in the class rats him out to like

that someone above the the principal because patten oswald's the principal he's really got him like wrapped around his finger he's he's got he's got him under control but someone else comes in to monitor the classroom and the little girl's sitting there like like yeah let's see what he's gonna do now and he just starts teaching biology beautifully like holding like walking with the book talking about like like our dna mitochondria or something mitochondria or something like like the powerhouse of the cell just eloquently and knowledgeably and he passes by that girl's desk and he goes i said i wasn't gonna teach biology not that i didn't know biology and he keeps walking it was just like that scene in quigley down under where like he's he's like this long-range marksman with a rifle the whole movie.

He's a long-range rifleman the whole movie, and the bad guy challenges him at the end to a pistol showdown. And he's just, wow, super fast, pulls it out, kills the bad guy. And the bad guy's two henchmen simultaneously. And then Tom Selleck walks over and he's like, I said I didn't have much use for a pistol. Not that I didn't know how to use one. And the guy's just like, laying there dying.

It's great, great. Woody didn't like that movie. I love it. I thought it was okay. Another show that is better, not in one of its best seasons by a long shot, but better than last season, noticeably, is South Park.

This year's South Park is but better than last season, noticeably, is South Park. This year's South Park is much better than last season because even though they're still doing kind of a story arc, they're not fixated on it the way they have been the last two seasons. So they're willing to be silly. The Mr. Garrison one about scooters where he's like,

I just hope that the future isn't people scooting. I don't care if you're scooting around. You know, some company just dropped all these scooting. I don't care if we're scooting around. All these people. Some company just dropped all these scooters here. Never asked anybody if it was okay. I laughed out loud at that because I was like,

I live in an urban area and that's exactly what it was like. One day I walked outside and it was like, what the fuck? There's like 12 scooters all around. There's some in the road road they're not put there and like that resonated with me so much i'm like yeah some company just dumped a bunch of scooters everywhere okay and they never even asked me why don't you take one because i don't want to pay a dollar to why why you have a dollar his point was like uh when stan was like but how are we going to get across town all the scooters are taken he's like well that's because i have a dollar. His point was like when Stan was like but how are we going to get across town? All the scooters are taken. He's like well that's because I have a

fucking car. He's like why can't people just drive their fucking cars around? You know? Yeah it was pretty good. There's no scooters in my house. I live in the city of Raleigh but on the edge and I own my own land. I just imagine though

that if there were scooters I'd be like that's so awesome for a dollar I could scoot instead I would scoot all over the place is the people who scoot are annoying as shit and so like I'll be driving and there will be people without a helmet in the middle of the fucking road like having fun like weaving around in an urban city area and it's like first all, this is the one time in my life I'm happy that this is such a dangerous city. I hope somebody caps you. You know? Second of all, get the fuck out of the road with your goddamn

scooters. A couple questions. One, they don't scoot at the speed of traffic, I presume? No. They scoot the way like, you know when you follow NPCs in video games where you walk? Like, there's no constant speed to follow

them, and so they're not fit for the sidewalk, they're not fit for the road, they're fit for a garbage dump. And that was the second question. Is there something about the sidewalk that makes it an inappropriate scooting environment? Yeah, like, you'd run into, like, some mom pushing her stroller or something if you're riding

a scooter there and then if you're gonna get hit with a car eventually if you're doing it in the road it's just fucking dumb did you see ice beside made it on the nightly news a few months back with a little scooter incident he uh you're shot no he almost he certainly did not get shot there was some sort of a gun scare that that i i don't know the particulars of it but but i don't think he got he didn't get shot um but but a few months back he had one of those fucking electric scooters and he side swiped some people some pedestrians like hit them hard and then he acts like it's their fault he's like watch where you're going jesus these people totally his fault because they're in like the crosswalk and have the right of way and then it's on like i don't know inside edition of the nightly news or something watch is this youtuber

son swipes these people and then has the audacity to blame them for not looking both ways are e-scooters the bane of modern society the answer is yes, tonight at 6. Team Taylor. It's awful. I know you guys live in... Kyle, do you see them around all the time? No, I don't. Maybe it's solely very actual city urban areas. I can walk outside

and drag in 10 of these. They're definitely in Raleigh. I say the newspaper, but I read the online version. There's stories about them all the time. We have two scooter companies now competing with each other to scatter scooters about. Yeah, now there's more. And I have friends of friends who are like,

you know, they really like this gig. They just collect scooters and charge them overnight and then distribute scooters later or something like that. I don't really know the business model of scooter charging. I'm tired of people here getting mugged and then having their card used to purchase a scooter as the assailant drives away. At a mockingly slow pace. I'm going to go, yeah, you're going to watch me leave at four and a half miles an hour, bitch. You could catch me, but I just beat you up.

What are you, a slow learner? Yeah. Still, though, it seems great. They're electric. It's easier than walking. You scoot around. You know what I want? And I can't justify it at all.

A one wheel. Are you familiar with these? Yes. No. I saw that, and I thought i was witnessing black magic oh my god so at the at paramotor fly-ins these electric skateboards and one wheels and different like unicycles electric unicycles uh are very popular because they have to go like a hundred sometimes 200 feet and then you wouldn't walk something like that right right so so anyway not if you're

the type of individual who's flying a twelve thousand dollar kite around for fun driving a fifty thousand dollar rig to carry that around and it's a wednesday okay so i go there and uh a lot of them like pre-know me because I make YouTube videos with paramotors. And I get to sample everyone's stuff. On the one wheel is the very coolest to me. I like it for dumb reasons like other people suck at it. It takes a little skill to ride. So it makes me feel like gatekeeper-y or something.

And it's a good speed. I'm watching YouTube videos where a guy lives in Chicago, like 15 miles away from work, and he just surfs and swoops and carves his way to work every day, and it seems like the most amazing thing. The problem is I don't really have a problem that's solved by one wheel. There's never some situation where I have to go a couple of miles across slow streets and pop over, I don't know, park benches and shit to get

where I'm going. Like, that's not my life at all. And it's $1,500. So, like, I don't generally just piss away $1,500 on things I don't need. But I really want one. So we'll see how this breaks down. Get one. I want to see you use it.

Yeah. It'd be cool though how is it off road like i imagine the paramotor thing is in a field right yeah oftentimes it's pretty well maintained grass and the one wheel is like amongst electronic skateboards which is like its category it's really good because it has the biggest wheel whereas electronic skateboards you know their wheels are like this big i can't do it for this you know this big and uh yeah a good size stick or something is is the challenge yeah i'm i'm i'm watching a clip of it right now i'd only ever seen it on a street one time and i it was one of those things where i'm driving through traffic and i'm like what what what is

that he's going up a hill what what black What is this? I couldn't understand what the fuck it was. And you can pivot on it, which is kind of nice. If anyone here longboards on a skateboard, then you've got a general idea of a longboard or electronic skateboard's turning radius. It's okay, but you couldn't use it indoors.

You can't really take sharp turns with it. The Onewheel, you can pretty much stop, pivot, go the other way, turn around. It's nice. All right. Well, I think that's about it. So, have you ever wished you didn't need to buy batteries, coils, a tank, a bottle, just to get started vaping? eBay, the new vape system from the creator's example box, changes all that. A-Bay's hardware blends simplicity with top-shelf quality.

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All right. Is that a wrap? Yes, sir. Painkiller Ready 413. I thought it was a good one. I agree. Yeah. And like I said before,

leave a pimping in some sort of social media. Drop it on RPKA in the big thread I make, and I'll pick a winner. And tell me which one of these things in your reply that you want. All right, PKA413.