Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #419

Episode Date: January 4, 2019

On this week's PKA, the boys come in hot right after Christmas to talk about the upcoming UFC 232 and the contention surrounding Jon Jone's drug testing, then Kyle talks extensively about playing Raft and The Forest and the boys share what they've been getting into video game wise and of course recount what they did for Christmas.

Painkiller Already, episode 415. 417. I'm going to start. 419. I'm just going to go with it. I don't know where I got all those messed up things from. Only three hours, 59 minutes, and 48 seconds. All right.

It's been a hot minute since we've had no guests, but it's nice when it's just the boys. Kyle? Yeah, it's holidays. Yeah, a couple sponsors tonight, GetQuip and SmartMouth. We'll talk about all that oral health later on in the show. But yeah, let's get right into it. Of course, no guests. It's holidays. Yeah, a couple sponsors tonight, GetQuip and SmartMouth. We'll talk about all that oral health later on in the show. But yeah, let's get right into it. Of course, no guest. It's Christmas.

And I feel like Chiz made a real oversight here by not reaching out to our Jew friend, Harley. Because... Oh, he's just seeing a movie and getting Chinese food somewhere. He was totally open. Exactly. Yeah, that would have been fine for him.

Or maybe if we could track down old Bash. I think Kwanzaa's over by now. I wonder what Bash is up to. He's a Raid Squad killer. People forget. I thought, isn't he like a Twitch man now? Probably. I don't know.

Kyle, are you upset because I said that word? In the branding? I just don't like when you use the hard R. We're the real sweet kids! Alright? The real sweet kids. I'm so thankful all the time where I'm like, man, I'm glad I swept into the PKA game after the

Rape Squad Killers thing. I'm immune to it. I don't even think of it as like, murdering or It's definitely not good branding. Mapist, yeah. To associate yourself with the word rape voluntarily. That's so true.

I'm not a big fan of it, but the Real Sweet Kids, I'm one of them. I'm the leader of the Real Sweet Kids. Wait a minute. There it is. I'm the leader of the Real Sweet Kids. Wait a goddamn minute. I'm not sure I want to be the leader of the real sweet kids either It's Christmas time We're on Discord

We are That's your guy's Christmas gift We heard you Yeah we've been I guess working on it for a couple of weeks It's been off and on Chisley's been working on it for months I don't know what he was up to, but he's been at it waiting for something.

There's some troubleshooting to be done. I think that... I don't know the details. Something about the way this video messaging thing has to be set up so that it works the way it needs to work for us to record a show is a little bit different than if you were just going to video chat with your friends. But in any case, just put in some hours, and we got it rolling, got it working,

and we'll see if people like this. I suspect the audio quality will be better and perhaps the video as well. So let us know what you think. All you real sweet kids out there. You know what? I like that a lot more. Real sweet kids. Me too.

I mean, I've got a butcher's knife in there with RSK on it. Someone asked me, what's that mean? It means real sweet kids. And you never tell them that it actually stands for sexy. That's just... Real sexy. You guys are all loving this real sweet kids thing you didn't make it a meme that you were pedophiles at one point no yeah none of that yeah you guys have a good

holiday anything anything special i know we kind of covered that on pkn but not everybody watches that you know i don't care what i don't care if you ate dinner with your family do anything fun you'll see a movie i mean anyone get a gift uh no like gifts are starting to get not lame but totally predictable at this part of life it's not like oh man a new transformer or something because if i would receive that i'd be like why why would you do why would you give this to me but But it's like clothes, socks, underwear. Like I used to think every adult on earth, like you remember just sitting as a kid around the tree and you like see your aunt or uncle open something. They're like, oh, socks. Thank you.

I'll wear these. I always thought like, man, how do all these adults not know the other adults are lying about how much they like their gifts? And now I'm on the other side of the coin where I just see it all as like, oh, cool. This is like free money i don't have to spend on socks or on a sweater or something so nothing exciting it was all pretty predictable house related shit yeah i am similar in the not very like okay the present that i was very excited about i have mentioned wanting a heat gun if you guys are unfamiliar the heat gun is kind of like a blow dryer on steroids and it can be used to remove paint but in my case it's i do electrical work it seems like once a month and i take a direct flame to this heat shrink tubing to get it in place and i don't know i've mentioned wanting a heat gun for ages but i've just never pulled the trigger on it you know

there's a always make it work kind of and uh yeah, Jackie got me an awesome one by DeWalt. It was over $100. And it's a weird thing to be excited about. But I saw it and I was just like, oh my God. Like, how did you know? Have you used it yet? No, not yet. Heat guns are fun.

Kitty has a heat gun she does packaging with. And once upon a time when I was like 18 and I worked in a video store, sometimes like when DVDs got old, we would package them up and then have this sidewalk sale where we sold DVDs out there for cut-rate prices because we used rentals. We'd have the heat gun wrap hundreds and hundreds of them. I got a little heat gun experience. You can also make a lovely creme brulee, Woody,

if you decide to get into cooking. I had a heat gun i used it to uh before like single composite hockey sticks became a really popular thing you'd have a composite stick with a replaceable blade and i use a heat gun to melt the glue and swap the tips as they broke what do you think uh the best uh weapon amongst the sports equipment is how would the hockey stick fare uh if we're if we're going zombie hunting? What's the comparisons, though? So, like, football, you don't have anything physical. I guess a helmet...

No, but the pads would be very helpful. Those would be useful. If you pad up enough... I'm not familiar with current football pads that much, but I feel like the linemen have things for their arms and forearms and, like, almost close. Your thighs, your knees, your butt, the back of your quads.

Really? Yeah, all the way around. I mean, when I played football as a kid, you know, that's what my football pants, when I put them on, it was like, holy shit, I can take a beating in these. I'd still want hockey pants, like those kind of pants over the football ones because like, you know, the football ones

where it's not actually 100% pad around you. It's like there are sections of pads in different areas. And they only go to your knees. Yeah, and a zombie could bite through that. Totally. And so that seems like a little bit of false security. Yeah. That's always one thing that pisses me off,

like watching zombie movies. I think you watch any movie that you think that... I've done a lot of zombie thinking for whatever reason. I have that personality. Probably not a good thing. I think it's like if a chef watches a cooking movie and they see something that's just not right,

they get upset. They never armor themselves. I'll tell you the first thing I would do. I'd want chain mail. People are like, it's not Medieval Times, Kyle. Google chain mail suit. They're incredibly easy to get. For like $500, you get a full Medieval Times down to your wrist here.

I predict that during the apocalypse, one, mail service is not as good as you're predicting. And two, chain mail becomes very popular. It comes back in vogue. Only I've ever thought of this, apparently. This is a strong point. Now, if you live near the beach maybe, I don't know if that would even be the place to be, one of those shark bite suits.

It's got that crazy modern super strong ring mail. There's no way a person, let alone a zombie with a rotten mouth, is ever going to bite through that. I have seen zombies. I've seen zombie lore where they can go underwater and travel. But I haven't seen them swim across the top of the water. So it seems like going sailing La Vagabonde style has a lot going on for it. Totally.

Totally. Living at sea would be the way to get away from it. Or finding an island that you can clear out, I think, would help. I feel like of the sports things, the hockey stick would break too easily. I think so too. I'm thinking baseball bat. Fastening a hockey skate to a baseball bat, making some kind

of makeshift axe. A war axe. That would be a good thing. Because I feel like the baseball bat's going to be strong enough that it's not going to shatter. There must be some sport that has an axe in it. Is there competitive lumberjacking? I've seen that There's a croquet mallet A croquet mallet?

I broke one of those when I was like 7 Yeah, that wouldn't be good If you stand on it like an asshole, they break Hypothetically If you use it to hit trees as hard as you can They'll break And then your grandpa comes outside and says i got these in 1971 what's the worst what would zombie apocalypse happens you you look into your closet where

you keep your sports stuff what's the worst thing that you could my my trusty curling ball first of all it slides half an inch on the concrete towards them and it's just not very effective i think golf club might suck i i feel like i know a lot of people grab okay well correct me where i'm wrong let me lay it out though a lot of people grab these golf clubs in home defense situations but to me that shaft breaks on the first hit yeah if you hit him with a shaft it's gg but if you take a nine iron and turn that thing so that you're hitting them with the like like you know how a club shape it's like this you hit him with this end of it you know you hit him with the back side of it that would really do some damage and it you know i can hardly split an entire log without hitting the damn handle once you know like dude if you take even one

moderate hit from a nine iron, like, you're not going to be functional. You're out. You're done. On the skull, maybe, but I feel like if you hit my deltoid or something, you might break your nine iron. Well, I mean, I'm only talking about going for the skull, because these are zombies. Like, you wouldn't go for the delt anyway.

No, you wouldn't go for it, but any strategy that involves me not missing with a golf club is a poor one though i'll tell you that the one that came to me is the worst tennis racket yeah at the very best you could just use it to like prod people and keep them at a distance maybe you like cut the strings out and you can like hook it around his head and control make like a garrote yeah i don I don't know. That would suck. I have no sports equipment in my house. The only thing I have are the,

what do you call those fucking things that you swing around back there? The kettlebells? Kettlebells. I got my kettlebells. I could probably get the five pounder, especially I could go to work with that thing. I feel like you smashed something in the head

with a kettlebell. It's game over. If you like attached a rope to that and then used it like a flail, you could do some serious damage. Like that Japanese chicken kill bill. Remember when she's crossing it around and swinging it everywhere? Yeah. I have a bunch of knives.

You know, another useless one are nunchucks. I've never even seen an expert with nunchucks. Go on YouTube and look up expert with nunchucks and tell me never even seen an expert with nunchucks. Go on YouTube and look up expert with nunchucks and tell me if that was a dangerous person. It's a fool. I know one. I think I was going to mention it. Nate Diaz. It turns out

that one of the most deadly men on the planet loves getting stoned and playing with nunchucks. He would do it his entire life. When Nate Diaz... It's Nick. Oh, is it Nick? i thought they both did it though in any case when nate diaz gets out his nunchuck us he's bruce lee with those bitches he's pretty good he's pretty good and i i'm guessing he might be better not stoned i'm not sure here's a fun fact. The, like, world dart champions, you know, the guys who throw the dart boards or whatever,

they practice while drinking so much, so consistently, that when they compete on the world stage in the world championships, they do it slightly buzzed because that's where all their practice is. I saw someone. It's a fun sport to play then. I don't remember which Olympic event it was, but they got disqualified for having a beer because I guess it calms your nerves and helps with the jitters. I want to say, and this kind of makes it sound worse, they were doing that thing where it's

the winter games and you ski a little cross country and then you shoot a gun. Yeah, I'm probably totally wrong about that, but there's definitely a guy who drank a beer and that was considered performance enhancing for what he was doing and they gave him the old failure. You should be able to drink as much beer as you want during any sporting event.

That's not a performance enhancing drug. That's a performance dampening drug. That's not a performance-enhancing drug. That's a performance-dampening drug. That's just a bonus for the viewer. Yeah. How much more fun would it be if the Super Bowl, like before every quarter, they had to do two shots?

That would be awesome. That would be hilarious. Yeah. Tom Brady, like vomiting, trying to make one of his clutch last-minute Patriots plays. I don't know anything about football, but I know enough about it that I hope the Patriots aren't good anymore soon my god how is this fun for all you football fans are they not good already I think they're fading

they're not the top team this regular season but they're going to the playoffs and it's the Patriots so anything could happen I know the Chiefs are good. Everybody spats not about that. Can we segue performance-enhancing drug talk into UFC 2-3-something talk with Jon Jones? Very exciting card. I knew that you'd want to talk about this, and I'll go ahead and preemptively disagree with you. Okay. I think you're taking the right stance on this. So let me lay it out. I took some notes.

Some of these are from the Department of Woody's butt, so this is not completely accurate, I guess. But here it is. Here's my case against Jon Jones. He has two brothers in the NFL. At least one was caught doing steroids. Guilty by association. Thank you. All right.

Exhibit A. Jon Jones was caught doing Coke. Just take that and file it away. It'll become relevant. Then he was caught taking an estrogen inhibitor. He says he never took it, but it was in a supplement that he took. So what he's claiming is that is silliness. After he was caught, he said that he had taken a list of supplements.

Now, if you guys don't know how USADA works, they ask you like, hey, Kyle, what supplements do you take? You can take your creatine. You can take your whey protein or whatever. Just let us know what they are. And then if you ever get into trouble, we'll test those supplements and see if, you know, you'll get a smaller penalty if you didn't, you know, if something that is in there that they didn't say was in there. So John's got busted for an estrogen inhibitor. And they're like, all right, what supplements do you take? And he gives them a list like 18 items long, tripled the size of the list he gave them before.

And he's like, you know what? I've been taking all this other stuff too. And they're like, man, it kind of seems like you just went to GNC, grabbed every suspect thing on the shelf and said that you were taking that in hopes that they'll test dirty. And John Jones is like, well, I don't really have an answer to that.

That might be exactly what I've done so eventually he comes down and he says he took dick pills for his inability to get a proper erection which by the way is a side effect of cycling off of steroids and taking these dick pills and that is how he explained away his estrogen inhibitor for people who know side effect of having an enormous elephant trunk of a cock. If you have too much testosterone in your system, your body converts it to estrogen,

which is why sometimes guys on steroids get these bitch tits, they call them. But he had the estrogen blockers. But he had estrogen blockers, so he didn't have that symptom. Anyway, so that's one thing.

Now, a couple months later, he gets caught with, I'm going to pronounce it, Terenobol? Terenobol. Terenobol. Okay, it's Terenobol in his system. Good stuff. And he's tested to have between 20 and 80 picograms, which is a very small amount.

This is the, not Terenobol itself, but like a metabolite that your body produces when it processes the Terenobol. And the theory is that he never did turennibal of course the man is innocent and clean it's that he snorted the coke i mentioned earlier but that coke was cut with creatine and somehow in creatine they mixed in some steroids because you know it's common practice to cut cheap things with stair with, creatine with expensive things like steroids. No, the deal was, the idea is that they mixed the creatine in the same machine that Terenobal had been mixed previously and they didn't clean it out good.

So there was some trace Terenobal in the creatine that was used to cut the cocaine. Okay. This is Occam's razor. This is the most likely scenario for a guy that's been caught cut the cocaine. This is Occam's razor. This is the most likely scenario for a guy that's been caught on steroids already. But they bought it. And by the way,

his A and B samples both tested positive for this metabolite that you get when you do Terenobal. It is like they're cutting something more valuable with something less valuable, if that's what was actually happening. I was just trying to buy baking soda and I got a bunch of cocaine. I was trying to leave the store with $2 of baking soda

and here I am with half a kilo of prime Colombian coke. No, because again, they're not cutting creatine with cocaine. They're cutting creatine with steroids. They're cutting cocaine with creatine. They've got X amount of cocaine. Oh, I believe you.

It's just funny to deliberately misrepresent it. So his A and B samples tested guilty. I don't know how you test guilty. With 20 to 80 picograms of this metabolite that you get from Terenobal. Well, now it's two years later. He's been clean

as a daisy, something clean. And he's caught with 50 picograms of turennibal in his system and the theory is that it's a pulsing effect from the turennibal that he accidentally took because it was mixed in with the creatine that was mixed in with his coke from years ago it's well that's what all the scientists are saying, right? What does the pulsing effect mean? They're saying that these metabolites that you get from taking Terenobal

accidentally because you're a cokehead will just pop up in your system now and then. Not that he's microgrossing Terenobal so he can pass drug tests. That's not it at all. It's just that now, off and on, sometimes he'll test positive for Terenobal.

That's what you saw to people. So the fight got banned in Vegas. The athletic commission is like, you know, we can't be sure about this nonsense. You can't fight here. Where the athletic commission is not approving him. So they said, all right, everybody pack up your shit. We're going to California,

which is exactly what they're doing. And all the other fighters, not approving them so they said all right everybody pack up your shit we're going to california which is exactly what they're doing and all the other fighters they're literally staying in rooms in vegas i think they're putting them on a bus or a chartered plane flying them over on like the day of the fight and they're gonna fight in california it's a quick fight i i i i believe that the the the last time he was caught was probably the cocaine. And I think that, I mean, it seems like everybody is agreeing. The only people who disagree that this time it's this pulsing effect thing are, like, people who hate Jon Jones.

So, like, the USADA is saying it, and, you know, obviously the UFC is agreeing. And people like Chael Sonnen and Joe Rogan are all, you know, Team Jones on this uh i i don't know i don't know anything about the science of this thing but the guy's describing like what a picogram in is and he's like it's like if you took a grain of salt and cut it into god was it 50 million pieces something like that and then one of those is a picogram and he was like he had that much i don't know why they didn't

just say a millionth because they cut it into 50 and they're like that's a picogram oh by the way he was caught with 50 of them so now why did you maybe that's just their standard why did we why did we go to least common denominator in the first place you were not going to make it far in my third grade that's for sure i i don't know in any case um ufc seems a-okay with him fighting because they believe the pulsing effect um usada fighting gustafson yeah gustafson uh usada you know the the the people who would normally be like oh you did something wrong are saying he's testing positive because of something we've already punished him for so he's a-okay and this is certainly not an amount that would ever make him better at fighting another man same amount as last time they punished him

yeah and i and i agree and i didn't think that he deserved anything last time um in any case i wouldn't give a if he was full of like bull testosterone when he came in there and he literally was sprouting horns because he is the greatest fighter of all time with or without steroids i think he's never lost a fight which i think is something that that isn't yeah i didn't see you like praising khabib like this like you were talking about khabib doesn't have the the the same list of of people that he's beaten up and it's a completely different fighting style he beat a whole lot of people that i'm not wasn't impressed by that we've never heard of he's not as electrifying to watch he's not as cool of a story john jones is like khabib is is this like solemn religious guy who just wants to

like he's like a jobber almost he's like you know this is my job this is what i do very calm i don't think that's what jobber means yeah i know know it's not but but I'm remaking it Okay But meanwhile Jones is like the bad the baddest bad boy that there's ever been like like Chael Sonnen calls him the calls himself The bad guy John Jones is the bad John Jones lies right John Jones is like the guy who's gonna tell you tell another Marijuana smokers. I'm the guy who loves God. You'll never see any trouble with me John Jones goes to this like you know with all due respect i feel like he is that makes him more of a bad guy oh not only is

he a bad guy he's deceitful like he's he he he fucks pregnant women up with his car and flees the scene so he can dump his drugs he he he lies he cheats and he's a hypocrite while he does it he's got you like this guy a lot he's the heel he's the heel like like like you know you've watched wrestling you can't have two genuinely nice guys walk out they'd be like hello my name is rick flair i will be uh representing the red corner tonight uh and and that is my opponent for all your red corner fans i'm your guy no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no and that is my opponent. For all you Red Corner fans, I'm your guy. No matter what happens tonight, brother, remember, we're in each other's corner. And that's Hulk Hogan.

He's representing the Toys for Tots this evening. Hey, did I see you again, Mr. Terry? Terry, right? Let's just go by Terry. No need to Hulk things out tonight. No, I want to fucking fight. We're going to fight. No, this is a goddamn Viking versus this Gustafson versus this American bad boy,

and I'm all about it. And I don't think John Jones is the guy who's never been beaten, not even close. He had one fight that they called like a no contest because he used the wrong kind of elbow, which we could talk about for 20 minutes, but we're not. Everybody knows about the 12-6 elbow. And if they don't, just Google 12-6 elbow, and Joe Rogan will tell you that story 18 times in a row. It's going to be a good fight.

It's going to be a great fight. Jones already beat the fucker once, and I like Gustafson. I hope Gustafson wins. I can't condone Joe Rogan repeating his stories, for one. And for two, I just feel like... So he has a record, and he has a track record, I guess I'll say, of electrifying performances against people who you could consider the best. And some of them were past their prime, but some of them weren't. Right. You know, like when he beat Machado, Machado was the man when there's a couple guys. I'm drawing a blank.

When he fought Gustafson last time, and don't even talk about when he made Daniel Cormier cry, who, like, if you take the way the fact that, if you take Jon Jones out of existence, everybody's talking about calling Daniel Cormier the GOAT. Everybody's saying he's the greatest of all time. But you can't really, because Jon Jones made him cry. Can you be the GOAT if you're on steroids and you cheat all the time no this guy's made a career out of eye poking and performance enhancing drugs

i don't like the eye poking uh that's one thing i don't care for one bit but but the performance enhancing thing i've just learned i just feel like i feel like the top guys most of them are probably on something uh like 12 13 months from now there's going to be a whole new crop of people in the greatest of all time no discussion for mma no there's there really years ago it was george saint pierre and he's still there he like like that's it's been the same group of guys for a long time now i i think i think i think if you're looking at the greatest of all time pound for pound you're looking at guys like john jones george saint pierre demetrius johnson might need to be thrown in there mostly because he's so little and he he's got an incredible record and and and all that stuff um and um uh anderson silva uh and

of course fate or is is this there are a handful of people like me who have removed silva and jones when they tested positive for drugs so you just have to decide if you're one of those guys. I don't know what they do in baseball. Do they look at Barry Bonds and say, oh yeah, Bonds and McGuire had asterisks on their records, didn't they? Yeah. They added those? I don't know if they ever actually added

the asterisks. I always thought the asterisk was a metaphor. That's like, lock her up. Everybody was like, yeah like everybody was like yeah everybody was chanting it but but it never actually happened oh at some point i thought they literally did i i don't i can either confirm nor deny i'm not positive about that but i i feel like that's so if you're watching you have to are you one of those guys are you one of those guys that thinks that like barry bonds and mark mcguire and maybe sosa i think he's on Roids too, right? Yeah, Sosa was too. Are the best ever? Or

are you like, oh, no, they're not the... The difference to me is that I don't like it when they compare Barry Bonds to Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron. Guys who existed before that science was a thing. But with the UFC, it's been around since

1991 or 1993, something like that. It's been around 25 or 26 years so yeah probably 93 i think and uh and the steroids have been a thing throughout its existence and i think guys have been doing them throughout its existence and so many guys have come in juice to the gills but none of them look like john jones and as far as anderson silva i feel like he really should get a pass because he only got tested he only tested positive for steroids when he started getting old and losing his edge. He was just trying to maintain what he was as a younger man as he lost his testosterone levels, I'm sure, as he became less of – he got old. And he kicked a guy so hard, Taylor, that his leg turned into spaghetti.

Oh, I've seen that clip yeah he needed some fucking pills all right look yeah i don't think you can fault that man for taking anything it took to make his spaghetti leg work again i i really don't it's not like he got popped when he was young and when he was pulling the fucking matrix on people like just but the guys would come at him and it was literally like that scene in spider-man when peter parker finally gets his abilities and the bully tries to fucking fucking punch him and spider-man he throws this this fucking haymaker and toby moriarty goes huh look at that it's a punch he moves his head out of the way and the

fist goes by i'm gonna try to emulate it yeah He watches it go by in slow motion. That's Anderson Silva. So I feel like he really deserves a pass as far as performance enhancing drugs. Yeah. I know this is stupid, but I give Anderson Silva maybe a pass because he always passed the eye test. He never looked like John Jones or even

George St. Pierre, who's never been found guilty of anything. He just... He did all that with a body that's achievable by many dead. George St. Pierre, who's never been found guilty of anything. He looked like he did all that with a body that's achievable by many dads. I've seen that body at every gym. You don't have to

look around hard for it. I've seen much better bodies at the gym. When I was working out a couple weeks ago, there was a white dude that was over there rocking the kettlebells. Much better physique than Anderson the Spider Silva. Much better.

And I'm not a performance enhancing drug expert, but they said the one he took is especially useful for bone growth. Like it might be something you take because of the broken bone. So that's the thing. Dude, I knew about that. So I broke my leg a little year and a half ago-ish,

year and a quarter ago. And I'm talking to my dog like, hey, how about we prescribe some TRT up in here? And they're like, no. And I'm like, wouldn't it help? And they're like, dude, there's all kinds of other complications that come with that. You don't want us prescribing you steroids.

I really do. So we did PRP, which is a thing um you probably never heard of it but um they remove platelets from your blood and then they inject it back in that spot and oftentimes you get like i don't want to say excessive healing but like extra good healing so i feel too good i've got too much i got an extra leg the um the ufc approved it for guys with joint issues and stuff. They just take your own platelets and put it back in. Well, I stand by my John Jones defense.

And I'll say this. He probably has cheated, but it hasn't been proven to me yet. What will it take? How many steroid tests does he have to fail before the trial? It'll take him just one more. It'll take him failing one with a significant amount of something that makes some sort of sense to me.

We've talked about this before, so I'm just not going to go into it. That's what it'll take. So, alright, Kyle likes the steroid users. Are you going to be rooting for Cyborg? Oh, I despise Cyborg. So here's the thing about Cyborg now she has a physique that looks like she could beat silva and and maybe if if this makes me a hypocrite then i'm a hypocrite

but it just seems so much extra dirty for the women to use steroids than the men okay it would be like to me it's like if a guy beats his wife, and he uses a weapon when he does it. It's like, whoa! You couldn't just slap her around a little. You had to use the nine iron. I agree. If you're going to strike a woman, be principled enough to do it with your bare hand. My God.

Using weapons? That's savagery. I swear to God, that's how I look at it. First of all, when a man does steroids, he becomes a better man. For the most part. He looks better than before. No, he looks like a better man than he did before.

He performs better in all ways, especially if it's handled by a doctor or a professional juicing expert doctor kind of guy who's going to make sure you don't get bitch tits. Sure. But when women do it, their clits turn into little cocks.

And their tits get flapped, Jackie. They start looking like... Fun fact, turns their ovaries into testicles. They look like Vonderlei Silva in a dress. That's what happens. Dana White confirmed it. Basically, Chris Cyborg is

a mutant. I don't like her. And I'm not a huge fan of watching Amanda Nunez talk. They're both terrible interviews. No matter who wins the fight, it's going to be the worst post-fight interview. You're not going to be able to understand a goddamn word anybody's saying.

In the interest of science, I googled clitoris steroids on Bing, where you get the good shit. This can't be accurate. All right, I'll check it out. These are penises. I wish I could show this to you guys. I've seen them. Well, look it up, Kyle, so we can all be on the same page.

I know exactly. They look like dicks. That's what happens god um so holly holmes if people don't know holly holmes she has a really strong physique like in the one tenth of one percent of what a woman maybe could achieve or maybe i don't know but um a lot of people have pointed out that whatever's happening under her panties there's a lot going on down there that she might be on steroids and they use her like genitalia development as one of the reasons they think so are you guys seeing this picture these pictures yeah i'm looking at these these are some enormous clitori they look like penises these some of these

women need circumcisions back me up tay. It's funny that some of these, like, they're so big they have like a penis vein in them. You know? Goddamn, I fixed my camera. Yeah, some of these are, you know, I'd say too much.

Dude, I would feel a little gay with some of these women. I always want to be body positive. Everybody knows that, but... You know, Kyle has the right idea when it gets to be this extreme. Some of these are like the size of a thumb. Taylor, so number four there in the top row, she has dark pubic hair.

Yes. Would having that in your mouth not make you feel like you were giving a blowjob? You know, it would feel pretty gay. That's the, like, I want to be body positive, but some of these are... I actually don't know, though, because in the, looking at it here, you'd be like, oh, that looks quite a bit like a dick. But in real life, I think it'd be much more apparent this is obviously a clit. But it is dickish. I don don't know in a lot of ways but then what is a clit if not a tiny or i guess second image second row there's a woman fucking a fleshlight with her clit how is that not a dick

you're right i am looking at that right now yeah that is this at all are any of these natural like a couple of them look like they could be natural like just normal like a girl with a big clit well but big is underselling it people these are yeah if you're one of the one percent that's a female watching this and you're worried your clit's too big i promise you it's not one of these it is not it is not these are micro penises and some not even that oh they're all micro penises yeah they all look like um i'm excited about the fight though the cyborg nunez fight i've been looking forward to it for a long time i feel like my money's on on uh nunez for sure uh i gotta pick john j Jones to win his fight and Nunez to win hers. I know those are some risky picks

because a lot of people are picking Gustafsson. And a lot of people are certainly picking Cyborg. Cyborg's never lost, ever. They're both hard. Never lost in MMA. Yeah. She's, like, even in her... She's past her prime now, I don't know.

But, like, when she was a dominant woman that no one wanted to touch, maybe still true, she did some kickboxing fights and lost. She's a real monster. She's a real monster. Just incredible strength. But I gotta believe that Nunez is faster. And if Nunez

can get in, do some damage, and get back out, I think she's gonna do just fine. I think a lot of people give Nunez can get in, do some damage, and get back out, I think she's going to do just fine. I think a lot of people give Nunez the technique edge. For sure. I don't. Those two fights, Nunez and Jon Jones, I don't see an easy pick. Neither one of those is obviously going to win to me or lose.

I agree. That last Gustafson fight was an amazing fight. Both of those guys just put video game combos on each other. It was very fun to watch. So then I ask, who's a better fighter? The Jon Jones that didn't train very hard, who fought Gustafson,

Gustafson, whatever, or the Jon Jones now who might not be on steroids anymore, in spite of his positive test? Make your mind up, Woody. I'm struggling with this. It's really hard. But if Jon Jones is off roids, like they say Jon Jones has been off roids for one fight ever, and that was against OSP.

And he won, but he was shitty. And so if that's the Jones we get now, Gustafson kills him. But is he on steroids? I don't know. I don't know where to go on this. Man's never lost a fight. My money is on Jones to win that one and Nunez to win the other. The Nunez one I'm not quite as sure about, but I'm going to be sad if Nunez loses.

She's a real fun fighter to watch. I don't like her as a personality or as a person or as a person on a microphone because she's gay no i i think that's a positive for her i kind of like when when her girlfriend comes in there and they make out a little i'm cool with that uh i think that a lot of yeah i think a lot of the the female fighters are gay uh i think a lot of them are it's kind of it makes sense. Good card. Going to watch it for sure. Excited about it. It's kind of a shame that the John Jones debacle is messing with a lot of people's

paychecks. They'll have to pay California taxes instead of Nevada taxes. The gate isn't going to be nearly as big just because of the size of the arena and the short amount of time that they have to get the tickets sold. So it's kind of shit. But maybe the pay-per-view is better because of the drama that's been stirred up due to all of that stuff.

And I bet this exact conversation has gone down with Dana White and whoever owns the fucking UFC, that acronym that I always ruin. owns the fucking UFC, that acronym that I always ruin. I bet he was like, you know, every news agency in the world right now, though, is talking about this and how we moved it and this and that. It's all over Instagram. Daniel Cormier cried again. Everybody's talking about it.

He teared up. You know he did. Okay, yeah, but not on camera. You seem to really dislike him. Is it mainly because of the crying? No, I had no problem crying Pena is one of the greatest guys in the history of fighting. He's one of the best fighters and one of the best humans and he's a great dad.

He's a real big butterball of love and respectability. Who could beat up pretty much anyone on the planet. Yeah, it's just a little boring for me. That's all. So neither of you pulling for Gustafsson i i like gustafson a lot he was on rogan a while back and very well spoken guy very interesting guy um he hunts all the meat he eats now he hunts which which of course

rogan got like got a rogan boner for isn't he like a purse snatcher or something oh come on he's not tall enough to reach a woman's gustafson you're laughing at me but you watch no i i just you always know these little bitty things that like make you a meat like oh he has no character after you lose the adrenaline from fighting in the ring for a while i turn to petty felony so let's see gustafson serves 15 months in a prison in sweden for causing grievous bodily harm he has a number of convictions for aggravated assault including a year and three months in prison uh and let's see what else he's a pretty good fighter uh bodily harm i was looking for i don't know where i got the purse snatcher thing in particular but i'm mugging maybe

man swedish prison i bet it's pretty nice i bet they taught him to fight who shot like 70 people in sweden oh my god on that island with the hand yeah i don't remember what his name was but he went to prison and like it was some you know probably on reddit or twitter or something like i showed a diagram of where he's staying and the amenities of it and it's like holy shit like this is like what you i imagine white collar like mafia bosses get to go stay in here like and he murdered like 70 plus people. And he's got an Xbox and shit. He had a...

Yeah, he did those things. Gus Ifson seems like a nice guy. I saw him speak. I don't know when he committed those supposed crimes. Can I jump in? Because I just learned. He was actually really young. He was 15, it mentions for some of them.

And he was 18. Oh, he was for some of them, and he was 18. Oh, he was 18 when he got arrested and put in jail. So as a teenager, he did it. He hadn't cleaned up by the time he was 18, and that's when he got locked up. And after his time in prison, a Swedish prison, which I'm sure is like a health club, that's when he decided he needed to change his life around. Yeah, seems like a nice guy. I'm telling you, if anyone's interested in this Gustafson guy,

his Rogan interview was really good. He came off super, came off very well-spoken, very intelligent. I like his accent. And, you know, I like that he hunts for his own meat. That sort of sounded interesting to me. Yeah, that's a pretty cool trait. I wonder how much he's really hunting. Like, if you're an MMA guy, I imagine you're eating so much meat

that you need to supplement a bit. No, think about it. You kill one elk, you got pounds and pounds of meat. Like, one deer gives you, like, a freezer full of meat. And he's an archer. No, he's not. He uses a rifle. Yeah, that's right.

He uses a rifle over there. You're not allowed to use a rifle. He's probably killing big-ass elk or whatever the hell. No, he's not. He uses a rifle. Yeah, that's right. He uses a rifle over there. You're not allowed to use a bow. He's probably killing big-ass elk or whatever the hell. Reindeer is in Sweden. Yeah, I think he mentioned elk. So yeah, I like him a lot. Did you ever see that clip where... I don't remember. It might have been when Bill Burr was on

Joe Rogan's podcast or something. And Bill was like, Oh yeah, I tried some of that elk you gave me, Joe. And Joe's like, Bill, do you feel like it makes you more ferocious? Do you feel more aggressive when you eat it? And Bill's like, no, you fucking maniac. Does it make me more aggressive? No. It was just another funny example of like,

Joe Rogan would be an 1840s snake oil salesman's dream. He's like, now are your hands getting cut up from trying to find gold? Well, Taylor's talcum powder will get it. Joe would be like on his podcast talking into a rock or whatever and lauding my special snake oils. He seems like a nice guy but it's almost like his mind is too open it's you know i i so i like joe rogan uh he's my one of my dream guests top three i'm sure maybe top one and i'll ruin it with this but he's really just a meathead who's super well spoken and that's who Joe Rogan is

I like that he embraces that's who he is like I really don't listen to it nearly as much as either of you I don't think but you know he does that thing where sometimes he'll have like a funny guest on and like Burr or whoever will make a joke

and Joe will be like no let's unpack that and talk about this that and the other thing it's like oh come on joe like just just riff whatever you know i like him i find i i find him not to be a meathead but to be someone who is open-minded and curious and uh and and he and he he often has really smart people on there he often has occasionally he'll have like a nut job on there and and and he'll be like well hang on a minute that's not making any sense like when he had alex jones on there he's like well hang on you're talking about these vampires um are these real vampires you're

describing or is this like a metaphor for something you're gonna have to joe rogan's credit that episode with alex jones he did a fantastic job of like pulling stuff out of alex and like getting him talking more and not doing too much of like come on that's ridiculous that's ridiculous like i think that's the episode where alex jones is like and then i spoke to him and he he is someone who claims to have been on the moon and so i went up to him outside of a hotel and was he was screaming at him that he did not go on the moon i was like you're screaming at an astronaut? Yes, Joe. Yes, I was screaming at him because this is not a lot of me.

This is not a lot of you, Joe. This is a lot of the American people, Mr. Rogan. And this is something that's unacceptable. Buy my bone broth. That kind of shit is what he's doing. Have you seen Alex Jones when he's on the street and someone will flip him off for something? Oh, dude! He chased him down. He's like, you are an intellectual coward!

You are a coward, sir! You are a coward! Like, loudly! And he's a big guy. Like, you see right. He's like, you are an intellectual coward. You are a coward, sir. You are a coward. Loudly. He's a big guy. You see right away that Alex Jones could take a punch. This skinny guy better not hit Alex Jones. He's a thick guy. Because Alex is going to absorb it and then start pummeling him like a mountain gorilla. This is not going to go well for this skinny dude who's flipped Alex off.

And he's just all over this guy with that crazy loud voice. You're an intellectual coward. You're Alex Jones. For as little respect as I have for Alex Jones, he's well-spoken. He's a professional speaker. He's got that. He's a meat. He's thick.

I put myself in that other guy's shoes. And I'm like, what would I do? Let that other guy's shoes and i'm like what would i do let's say i flipped off alex jones all right let's go to the next step let's say that i had already done that and now i need to deal with this situation right i don't think alex jones wants to get into a fight right i think he i think he's like a baboon or a gorilla where he just like comes up bundling at you with an intimidation like a goose but he doesn't actually want to have a fight he just wants to intimidate you what happens if you square up in that situation oh i think he actually fights at this point in his career

because like what does he have to lose now he's lost his youtube channels like all his twitter stuff his facebook i think like paypal won't let his people pay him, MasterCard or whoever. At this point, he might say, well, I may as well just get in a fight and see if I can get Patreon up and running. I think he wanted to get hit. I think he wanted the guy to swing on him and he wanted to beat this guy up on camera.

You think that's what he wanted? What if the other guy won? That guy didn't strike me as a fighter. That guy struck me as someone who's never been in a fight. But what happens if it's, I don't know, Donald Cerrone, a guy who maybe in street clothes doesn't look like a fighter

fighter, and he just squares up and is like, I can't let you get within arm's reach of me. You should know, you come within arm's reach, and you're within arm's reach of Donald Cerrone. Like, what happens if it's that guy? Oh, well, he would get the shit beat out of him because he's a fighter. Yeah. But what happens after that?

Like, what happens? This is the long arm of justice. Does he even post that? Does he bury that video of Alex Jones getting his ass kicked? Does he work it? Does he? No, he sues Donald Cerrone, and Donald's fighting for Alex now. Yeah, probably.

He'd be fighting four times a year. I don't know. What is the best way to handle it? Because I thought the other guy, he flipped in the bird, all right, whatever. And then after that, he had to totally cuck to get out of that situation. Well, it's lame in the first place

to just walk by somebody you don't like that you've seen online and be like, meh, flip them off it's like why has alex jones earned like any level of politeness or decorum like he he ruins america for a living he ruins america for a living he makes every attempt i don't think that's what he does if you're gonna be combative like that in public the guy should have like gone up and probably started a conversation, right? Where he's going to be like, all right, I hate this guy, and I'm going to make an ass of you on your own stream or whatever. Not like, fuck you.

Alex Jones does that. I've seen him push and shove his way onto other people's shows. He's combative in public routinely. So he hasn't earned any respect in my head. Between my ears, Alex Jones is taking so many withdrawals from so many people that you can flip on the bird if you want.

I don't think he's a bad guy for flipping off Alex Jones. It's just kind of like a really self-defeating and pussy way to confront him. You're not going to come out of that. If he had said something intelligible to Alex and they had a little conversation,

who knows? If Alex got bested, we'd probably never see the light of day. If he had yelled out, like, your theories have been disproven. You're a scam artist, hocking supplements online, defrauding the people by exploiting their fear. You know, if he'd said that, like,

what does Alex say then? That would have been fun. If during the whole time, that's actually the best idea I've heard so far. Because I put myself in the, say I flip Alex Jones the bird in a moment of lack of discipline. Now what? Right? Do I take my shot at fighting him? Squaring up? He's gonna invade your space,

right? You better have had your bone broth this morning. Right? Because I did. He's going to invade your space, right? You better have had your bone broth this morning. Right? Because I did. Do I have to go total cuck like that guy did? You know, and just like try to walk away from the situation while he accosts you? I like Kyle's thing. If the guy was like, you, sir, aren't an intellectual coward.

And he came back and said, at least I don't sell bone broth pretending that it does anything. At least I don't. What neck thicken that it does anything at least i don't what neck thickening agents have you been on that turned you into what you are like if you just started insulting all the things he hawks then what's he gonna do with that video you serve what you have to do is be like final time this morning he just rips his shirt off like hulk hogan and he just he he starts getting redder and redder and you realize he's hulking out. He's steaming like a cartoon. And the guy's like, oh my god, why are you so hot?

Flame on. He's like looking into a hot oven. What are you? Now, the mainstream media won't cover this, but a libtard antifa communist confronted me today and told me that he just came from the jerk store and they were sold out of meat now you will never hear about this in the mainstream media the liberal media oh if i could do an alex jones imitation and just mock him that would be great like you know the mainstream media won't cover this but bone broth is neck thickening agent you know you sure sound like you have emphysema.

Now, a little bit of bone broth every day will help you out with that. It's guaranteed to cure emphysema, throat cancer, all maladies of any and all sorts. And ED, not anything I have any experience with. Ask my wife, believe you me, but it does help. I am fully erect as we speak. I am erect all the time. That's why all my videos are only above the waist. You guys are so good at this.

I want you to confront Alex Jones. You see a huge, grand, robbing cock in my pants right now. That's why a good friend of mine, Kyle, otherwise known as FBS Rush, he turned me on to pajama jeans. Pajama jeans? That's right. I'm going to have to. How funny would it be if he like transitioned totally out of politics and just in like

a year out of nowhere like on some like news show he comes up as like the new kind of billy mays guy there's like alex jones here selling you oxyclean uh and and what it does it gets this out of your tub and like Wouldn't that be great? And everybody would immediately have to forgive him. They wouldn't immediately have to forgive him, but they'd be like, remember that guy that said those kids didn't get shot in Sandy Hook? Well, I bought a toaster from him. It's better than you would think.

It really is nonstick. I want to see him go further and just do morning television and be amazed at people making omelets and shit like that. He loses the whole accent. Now he just sounds like a regular person. He doesn't have that throaty thing anymore. My God, so you put a quarter cup of chives in this omelet. My goodness, folks, this is going to be bursting in flavor. I'd watch Alex Jones do anything.

I find him very entertaining. Oh, I would watch him do like Bob Vila home improvement style show. I would love that, but he's really bad at it. Do you remember on – did you ever watch Mad TV with the home improvement guy who was awful at it and would always injure himself severely? I want to see Alex Jones play that guy. He's constantly trying to – he's installing garage doors and getting strangled by it or something like that and just screaming and raging and i would love hilarious alex jones has so much

potential to be funny as fuck like just input in those different situations if it weren't for the whole those kids didn't die this was a ruse and the pizza gate thing the pizza gate thing didn't look good either neither those were good looks he shouldn't know when to pull back thing even comes close to the like saying sandy hook didn't happen that's gotta be the worst thing he's ever done some know some people and i'm not totally i might be one of them hold him partially responsible for the guy going into comet pizza with a gun looking to solve the problem i mean that guy was a patriot let's be real that guy didn't go in there look i mean if you really dissect that thing down that guy didn't go in there doing he didn't hurt anyone okay point a point b he was

there to do good okay if any of us actually believed the and this guy clearly did that there were children being held in there we we might do a similar thing we probably just call the cops um probably that's probably I think I'd call the authorities. The authorities might need to be involved. But here's a patriot who takes matters into his own hands. He's tired of that bloated law enforcement budget. He doesn't want to give another feather in their corrupt caps. He's going in there like Captain America himself,

and he's going to do some good. His heart was in the right place, even if even if he's terrible see and he wasn't a shooter like i don't know anything about this story like i heard a couple things about it okay the problem i'm saying is he's not a shooter because if he was a shooter he would have walked in and be like huh well while i'm here you could have done that but he was like god damn it i penciled from noon to four to kill pedophiles today and there's not one in sight can i have a pizza you know what while i'm here sir there is no basement i would love it if like it was discovered that they're actually that all of that was true and that in the back like the

dough machine lifts up like in breaking bad and there's just a fucking underground layer of child fucking going on. Tell us more, Kyle. What would be your favorite part about all the child fucking? I would not have a favorite part of the kids. There you go. The justice. The justice and...

How would you decorate this room that you like so much? It would always be Christmas. And also the redemption of Alex Jones. Imagine if one of his crazier theories got 100% proven to be true. The ammunition, the verbal ammunition that that would give him to make a comeback. If it turned out that, sure enough... Madison Scott Pruitt are fired because they're lizard people. Oh, if the lizard people ever get found out, it's game

over for us all, my friend. They're just going to come down with that phrase. You know what? If I were to confront and argue with Alex Jones over something, I think the way to do it would be to pick a singular issue and not let him do his red herring thing where he'll just throw

another crazy idea out there and then just start talking about that you know so i'd like i'd only bring up fluoride and be like everyone it's like an understood thing fluoride's fine for your teeth like i was looking up today because i saw people being like oh i want to do more conspiracy stuff on the show which noted we'll do some more of those but i was looking up trying to get like the the anti-vaxxer and the anti-fluoride point of view first of all every website that's anti-vaxxer or anti uh fluoride especially anti-fluoride it looks like it hasn't been updated since 2002 and it's like the cursors are like shitty like it'll turn into like a an arrow like a plus sign like it's really just terrible stuff that's like 90s stated this website yeah like it's still got like the moving

like gif icon kind of things that were cool back to my space page yeah and and all of their like supposed evidence is just like hey this random dentist says he's not sure really like that's it like uh one of the things that that you know when you see white spots on people's teeth like uh like especially young kids like it'll just be like a white bit, not like extreme. It's called dental fluorosis. And it's when you consume too much fluoride and you over mineralize your teeth. And that's like that was like the number one point on one of these sites. Like you can tell you're being poisoned if you see over mineralization of teeth.

And I was like, huh, OK okay and then i checked a like ada and they're like yeah this totally is tied to fluoride and i looked a little bit further and they're like but if you go on any of those kooky sites don't believe anything they say your teeth aren't going to fall out they're not too hard or too soft just fine it's going to go away when you get older and it's like that that's it like i don't know what these people think uh they said that it makes people retarded they said that it causes autism uh they said that where's the good one here oh it's being used to lower iq to i guess make us more docile as a as a people so the government can control us more easily that was even far out there for the even like the anti-fluoride people were like oh well i don't know about that but so this is one i'd be confident in

anybody who's an anti-fluoride person leave a comment why i'm retarded maybe you'll prove me the autism thing i know i've talked about this before but i have so much sympathy for anti-vaxxers i'm not one to be clear i don't believe vaccines cause autism but i've been through this with Colin. And this is the way that it happens with a lot of kids that have autism or on the spectrum or whatever the heck goes on. They lose words, right? They say dada and mama, and then they don't anymore. This stuff happens when they turn like 18 months old, two months old, when they turn like 18 months old two months old they regress and it's also the time that you're having your kids vaccinated and then there's this world of like research you dive into and this

stuff finds its way into your brain and i'm not an anti-vaxxer but i'm sympathetic for the people that became them because i like what those people describe lines up with what happened to their kids and yeah like if you're not if you've never been through what i've been through i can understand how you might be like these guys are just dumb as rocks they're so stupid they deserve all kinds of like tormenting and and they're what they're doing is bad for society i care about that you know By bringing their non-vaccinated children into your school system. But their heart's in the right place

and I can see how they arrived at their incorrect decision. Anyway. Yeah, I mean, even the anti-vaxxer thing, I saw reputable doctors not saying like, oh, this causes autism, but I saw a couple saying, and who knows this is reputable, I didn't delve that deep delve that deep but saying like yeah it is good to space them out

for a couple other uh it wasn't ultimate autism it was some other like just like all physiological thing that it might cause if you get them to in rapid succession i don't know i'm an idiot people are fucking idiots because like like even if even if 5% of the people took the vaccine died, you still should do it. Because what you don't want is measles outbreaks. And it's not going to work. We need to be vaccinated. We live in a herd, essentially.

We're all interconnected. We're all touching the same fucking doorknob. We're all going to the same public institutions using transportation and and and schools and stuff it won't work if we're not vaccinated i love when they don't let those kids go to school that's what i did when i was a kid you had to be vaccinated yeah i didn't realize that it changed they that yeah they disallow that well i'm sure that I'm pretty sure there are places where maybe they let the kid go anyway. But I've seen the anti-vaxxing protesters and the kid will be holding a sign like,

I'm not allowed to go to school because I refuse to take 28 shots or something like that. Which, if it's 28... It'd be funny if the kid's holding that sign and he's got swollen cheeks and a rag tied around his head. Yeah.

He's got the mumps. Covered in spots. Just a 105 fever. Maybe I should have went with the jab. Smallpox is part of my identity. Smallpox is a drug, or not a drug, a disease that

the name is not nearly scary enough for what happens when that starts happening. Yeah, they should call it, not even pox, something scarier than that. Well, I don't know. We have chicken pox already. And if it's worse than chicken pox, and I think that it is. Devil pox. Well, I was going to go with eagle pox.

Oh. Falcon pox. Falcon pox. Pigeon pox. You were with me until we were on the... We had said Falcon together. You owe me a Coke. I don't know why we're sticking with poultry here.

Terrapox. Something like that. Because Google smallpox images, and you'll see that. You're going to call them Terrapox, and you need to change chickenpox, too, to like... Funpox. What are the worst things on Earth?

The worst things on Earth? Cancer pox. AIDS pox. Lena Dunham pox. Steroid clitoris pox. Lena Dunham? Who's that? Oh, this unfunny lady. Overrated lady who pretends to be funny on the internet. And on TV.

And on TV. And in person sometimes. Can we do Steven Tyler as a topic? Oh, what a nice guy Steven Tyler is. Isn't he great? Don't you tell me anything bad about him. Let me run this by you, Taylor. You want some underage

tale, right? The authorities and society are breathing down your neck about oh no, you're a 38 year old musician. Bunch of fucking Quakers. oh, no, you're a 38-year-old musician. Bunch of fucking Quakers. Yeah, you can't have a 16, 17-year-old girl in your bed. You can't allow that.

And you certainly can't take her on the road with you. What would you do? Well, I'll tell you what Steven Tyler would do. He'd just adopt himself a 16, 17-year-old little girl, and then he's the legal guardian. to adopt himself a 16, 17-year-old little girl, and then he's the legal guardian. So Stephen Tyler and her met in the fall of 1973 backstage in an Aerosmith concert.

She addressed the part of a groupie that night, hoping to earn entrance into the show's after-party, and it was a party she wouldn't leave for nearly four years. Tyler was immediately taken with her, insisting she come on the road with him. Unfortunately, it would be illegal for him to travel across state lines with a minor, so he asked her mother to sign over legal custody. And much to the teen's surprise, mom did.

Over the next few years, she reveled in the rock star experience. She became pregnant, still a teenager, without ever quitting her drug habit. Tyler, though, developed doubts about becoming a father and pushed her to get an abortion. She relented, recalling, Stephen sat beside me in the hospital until it was over. And when the nurse would leave the room, he would just start snorting cocaine on the table beside my bed. He even offered me some Coke, but I just turned away sick inside. She left him soon thereafter, returning to the same mother who had signed her over to

a rock star. Now she's a born again Christian and anti-abortion advocate. He was recently a judge on American Idol. So who knows what came out of there? Sorry, so who knows who came out ahead there? Is that an abortion reference? It came out ahead? Is that how they do it?

They just get the head out? Smush it? Is it confirmed that he was banging this girl i guess like why where did you think the baby came from taylor well it could have been another guy no i think it's probably him yeah i had no how did this get buried how have i never heard about this how is this not like a thing that ruined his career because he's a rock star and it was in the 70s i guess have you heard aerosmith's music no not that much i was crying when i met you now i'm dying to forget you come on come on that's gold

i guess he should be allowed to rape look he has a beautiful voice it was just like like with Michael Jackson, where they're like, I don't know about all these kids in there, but god damn if I'm not going to still listen to his album on the way home. And look, every time Michael Jackson comes up, I will go back on what I used to say. I do not believe that he

had anything, any kind of inappropriate relationships with young boys whatsoever. No, that's ignorant. There. I just don't believe it. Ignorance. Ignorance. It's all just hands over the clothes. You're going to have your padding.

Yeah. No, I don't believe it. No, I don't think he did anything to those children whatsoever. I just don't believe it. I think they were all being manipulated by their parents because he was worth hundreds of millions of dollars. And he was a weird fucking guy. But I don't think he did anything dirty to those kids.

They could just never prove it. All the witnesses often went back on their word. There was just never any real evidence. I don't believe it. Steven Tyler fucked that little girl though and did something. How old is 16?

Not old enough to sign her over to Steven Tyler. Actually, false. Technically correct. She is the exact age to be signed over to Steven Tyler. I stand corrected. She's not quite an adult yet. If she were 18, that's slavery. You cannot sign an 18-year-old to Steven Tyler.

That is illegal. But 16, perfect age. Perfect age to be signed over to someone. The question is, is it morally right or wrong? And the answer is wrong. It is wrong because Steven Tyler was... I wonder how old he was at that time in 1973 here i'll yeah i'll look him up 25 26 27 37 so he was born in 48 so 73 minus 48 clearly this requires

a calculator 25 you feel a little different now don't you yes because i need a calculator to do basic math that makes me it's more embarrassing than my porn history almost as bad as calling it a calculator god damn it calculator god fuck two or three k's i was scrolling through the same article list looking at other things and i've never heard of bill wyman before but apparently he was the drummer for the rolling stones and when he was in his 30s he dated a 13 year old did you get to the eight years the guns and roses now the bummer is it's the drummer's assistant i wish it was the drummer but this guy literally kidnapped and uh raped girls and he's under submit suspicion for murder jesus christ and as a drummer's assistant yeah what does he do hand

him the sticks keep it polished they hired an assistant called rocco the pervert you think that would be a red i mean it's right here on grunge.com. Oh, well, in that case. Wait, are you telling me he goes by that moniker? Rocco the Pervert? Yes. Nice to meet you. I'm Rocco.

Rocco the Pervert. Uh-huh. I thought you were joking. It literally says Rocco the Pervert. Are those your children? Let's see. The police came. And that's the bassist assistant, Suzanne the rapee.

Let's see. The police came. My mother signed me over. Rocco had tried to videotape unsuspecting people in Adler. Who's Adler? Is that the drummer? I don't know who Adler is. I assume so. But he tried to videotape unsuspecting people in his bathroom

through a hole in the ceiling, and he had just been arrested for suspicion of murder. Apparently, he was kidnapping girls, drugging them, and then videotaping the unconscious victims in various positions. They also found pictures of my ex and my mom. Rocco had been spying on us and taking pictures the whole time he had been staying with me. What a ghoul well if anyone the pervert

ever applies for a job with me I'll say no yeah I would give a two thumbs down to Rocco the pervert you might want to drop that moniker that's not a good one be Rocco the rockstar right like what the fuck

truth in advertising I like it yeah Rocco the rocko the rock star right like what the fuck yeah rocko the chaste truth and advertising i like it yeah rocko the rock star you're fucking like you're a drummer's assistant for rolling rolling stone or who was it uh guns and roses guns and roses oh what a great band come on very similar to uh but yeah they are they sound a lot alike. The Rolling Stones' Bill Wyman, like you said, Taylor, dated a 13-year-old for eight years, it seems. Didn't he cast her in? I don't know if he cast her in because I didn't see who he dated next. It wasn't how it was reported to be. It was a time that happened in my life, sadly.

He said it was very emotional and special at the time he recalled of the eight year relationship it wasn't how it was reported to be and it was the only time it ever happened in my life sadly he said he didn't get to talk about this time with Smith that often

mainly because it upset that's his word butchery. And I saw that... This is somewhat related. Wings went into the Discord, one of the troll Discords. There's about 300 or 400 members in there. They call themselves the Whale Watchers.

Oh, my God! Keep up the good work. And so he goes in there and he confronts a few of these gentlemen and uh and you know they're they're asking him questions well he's like why do you hate me so much why do you do this to me and they're like well you did this and you did that and then you did this and why do you do this and why do you do that and the one guy's like why do you talk about your thick six dick to underage girls and he's like hey hey hey both of those girls are legal now now and they and like the dozen people he's arguing with just go oh i can't believe you just said that and you believe me just said that like that's a defense like that's not how it works

that would be like if you assaulted someone but then they like died of unrelated causes five years or they healed right are they hey yeah i broke his leg look at him walking around fine today you've recovered from his injuries now yeah i couldn't believe he said that that i wish you just recently that he hopped into one of their discords yeah yeah like last week i'm gonna say uh maybe you know six seven days ago something like that there's a 42 minute video of it if you if you want to really delve deep into that sort of thing of him like voice chatting on there with them yeah yeah it's it's him voice chatting with a group of the uh you know people from that trolling any

other highlights that you can share with it I first of all I hope whale watchers becomes an inaccurate thing they should be dolphin watchers if you keep shrinking just the thing but I don't know you know whenever I see wings go to discord and confront a mob, I'm usually disappointed in the mob.

They're talking over each other. They're not making cogent points. The way you laid it out there was pretty good. But when I hear it, they're never effective speakers. You know, some were, some weren't. It was a whole mixture of people.

You could tell some of them were professional men who were like you know had jobs and stuff some of them were younger guys who had who needed to be at school or whatever or probably just had gotten back from school or whatever it's a group it's a it's a mixed bag it's you know it's just like any fan group it runs the it runs across the spectrum but i thought on average they were pretty well spoken you know there was occasionally someone would say something stupid and even the other trolls would be like, all right, I'm not going to defend what that silly person just said. But seriously, though, what about when you did this to this person?

And what about you did this to that person? And I don't know. They had a they had a debate for about 42 minutes. The comments section seemed to think that Wings won the day, but I felt like he looked silly for most of it. You know, he made some strong arguments, I thought. I guess there was a circumstance where he showed his Facebook Messenger page at one point on a stream accidentally. And they tracked those people down and messaged them. And, uh, and essentially what happened, I'm probably going to get a little bit of this, uh, a little

inaccurate, but essentially what happened was they thought that this woman was perhaps someone he was dating, but she was really a friend of someone he was dating. And so they messaged her, and then she goes to the person that he's actually dating, and that person breaks up with him because of the drama that had ensued. I guess he claims that this woman who was contacted by trolls had a nervous breakdown at work, which I know, right? Like, right?

Any more details than that? That's pretty much it. It seems more likely that she was just like, look, I'm just getting started in this relationship. There's an overhead and a baggage and trouble that comes with it that I'm not wanting to sign up for. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He claims that he's lost a couple relationships. I can't remember if it's two friends and three relationships or three friends and two relationships. But due to the trolling and such um so you know that's chis and i was watching we were discussing and and we don't care for that aspect of what happens you know we we feel like it's perfectly fine to you know if he says something silly or inaccurate or whatever you know it's it's we got no issue with you uploading that. But if you edit it, take it out of context,

when it's not for clear comedy purposes. I feel like when they make the rap videos, it's clear it's being chopped. And you've got to know that he's not saying the ridiculous things that he's saying in those raps like i feel like that's fine anyone can tell that's like chopped up yeah yeah but but i i i've always said like uh the swatting the the contacting of like some sort of family member or or potentially the contacting of like a job that he's trying to get or a job he's trying to keep

you know that's not cool and you know of course they attacked his timeline for a long time um about mech lab and 911 operating jobs and and that sort of thing and it was it got pretty fuzzy um even with him there this will surely bite me someday but here i go i feel like when you put yourself on social media you put yourself in a position where people have an opinion on you right so when he goes online and tells I'm not I'm trying not to say lies right but there we are right when he lies about being on like the freaking US Starcraft Olympic team or traveling here or there the different women or the different guns and oh getting shot I think is what you're talking about then uh then you know people are going to have an opinion on you for that you know for the things that you've done but the people in his universe didn't do that they didn't put

themselves on social media and and like it's a bummer that that it extends to his extended universe which isn't fair right yeah exactly exactly. They're civilians, I suppose, is one way to look at it. He's sort of signed up for a thing whether it's fair or not. He's signed up for a thing. He's put himself out there. But the innocent bystanders don't deserve to be

contacted at work. Some of the shit that's done is criminal. And that's messing with his bank account or attempting to if that actually happened that's that's fucked and uh the swatting of course we all agree is just now he makes the swatting sound like they have i think he said something like you've you've created an atmosphere um you you're basically essentially attempted to murder me like that he literally he was like saying that to them and they're like we we just laugh and call you sam you know that that's kind of our our our bag uh we're not in the attempted murder business or

anything like that uh but but he's like no no you created this atmosphere in which that occurs and and you know that's his opinion. And they obviously don't feel that way. Keep it to the silly stuff. Yeah, silly stuff is the way to go. Lighthearted. You know, this is silly. Lighthearted.

Go for that. Don't. I mean, I'm a broken record on this. He sells his mental health for money. There's some steps in between, but that's the position that he finds himself in. And he doesn't have that much mental health to sell, right? No, that's fine.

The, what is the drug he's on that starts with an L? Lexapro. Thank you. Yeah, the Lexapro he's taking refuels the mental health counter a little more, right? But when he does those breakdowns that they're so engaging he's selling his mental health for money and he wants to stop but he can't because he's yeah not set up like i wonder what what he's thinking when he does that when he uploads like one of those rock bottom type videos does he think that people are going to have mercy on him like is that him saying please please please don't they see i hurt no i don't think temporarily don't hasn't he had some positive

feedback from that before not anymore right yeah not anymore my opinion is that no my opinion is that some people will pity him but some people will see through it and see it as manipulation uh and that'll just really stoke their fires. And for some people, that was the goal, right? You know, like they're that kid in school that maybe they pick on you until you cry, mission accomplished, and now they're kind of done with you.

So let me, somehow this seems related in my head. I'm playing Left 4 Dead with Colin, right? And the way we do is we start with the computer and then we let people join. Guy joins right at the end of a level and he keeps shutting the door in the safe room right so it's a real tough time to get into the safe room they're getting there's we're running from the horde we eventually make it in but the guy's trolling us and like it wasn't fun and we voted him out how does he feel about that exchange like in my head i'm like he should feel like he was an

asshole and he got rejected right like no i think no that's what he was going for you know he's he's like that guy who in hardcore search and destroy back in the day would like shoot the rpg at the ground right away he wants you to call him the nastiest name that you can think of he wants he knows he's going to get booted from the room like automatically after the second time he does it or whatever or you know that's what he's going for right he wants to stir the pot until you lose your shit he's trolling that that is trolling and it's it's a shit move yeah i mean i never liked that when they shot the ground like in of course not they're ruining the game for everyone people thought it was funny though

i a lot of people thought those were good videos and i was just like i guess i didn't throw stones like maybe i maybe i should take it some moral stand and told my fellow youtubers they're being assholes i don't know i didn't do that but i always thought in my heart like man fuck the way you make videos yeah yeah it's pretty shitty i don't know sometimes trolling is fun in games like like when we would play sea of thieves there's a mechanic where so there's four sailors on a boat and there would be three of us sometimes and someone and a random person would join the the game and how we treated them would depend on how they treated us i suppose if they were a helpful person who spoke up and was interesting or whatever like oh that's our

that's our fourth shipmate. But if they were bad at the game or if they were non-community or they were a shithead, if they were like doing things we didn't like, I mean, there's a mechanic where you can vote to put them in the brig, which is literally a cage in the bottom of the boat. So we just vote them into the brig and then sink the boat,

you know, you know, we just, we just like that though. Yeah. That sink the boat you know you know we just we just like that though yeah that's yeah i don't know i just it popped into my head like how does this asshole think this thing went i guess in hindsight we couldn't have handled it much better we didn't even get any words out of us we just voted him out let's vote him out yeah um we've been playing a game uh we obviously played a bunch of raft we. We talked about that on PKN extensively. So if you guys want to play an interesting game,

it's a bit like Minecraft. I'm going to say you got a good solid 10 hours of fun out of this game. It's a $12 early access game called Raft. $16, I think. Yeah, $16. Yeah, yeah. Fun game.

Fun game. We played that a ton. It drops off a cliff a little quickly though we'll be like man this is great i'm having a blast and then once you kind of get all the grills or water purifiers you're like okay well it's impossible for me to starve to death like unless i walk so far away on my own raft that i'm out of range of getting food because like you can make your raft just the size of two football fields if you want you know my biggest problem in raft right now i have so much collection capacity that managing my inventory is the big pain in the butt like oh i just put 150 planks of wood in the chest

and now there's none on me and i have to go back to the chest but you know there's hardly any room in my inventory because i got this much plastic and seaweed and yeah i um it's you know it's a survival game essentially so like once you've mastered survival it kind of loses a lot of its fun i think i think it needs uh to be updated some more to make it more difficult to survive or if you play hard does it make it it makes you starve and uhrate way faster, right? I don't know exactly what hard does. To be honest, I played on normal, but perhaps. But even then, it wouldn't matter.

We've got some, and we have an infinite amount of food at this point, infinite amount of water. At this point, we're just painting the boat and making it look pretty. I'm pretty much done with that. Playing solo, it's too easy to survive. Really? done with that solo it's too easy to survive really like you get it so I could survive infinitely with nothing more than a fishing rod a grill and a water purifier and a cup yeah and then if I wanted I could like make one small planter and only use potatoes and be like exponentially getting more and more potatoes yeah I hope they update it because you know I would

play with you guys if you want to. But I'm pretty much done. I'd start a new raft because that kind of rejuvenates the fun again. That's where Minecraft does well. If you were, I'm going to make it up, 15 hours into Minecraft, you have barely scratched the surface on what that game can do and what it has. You haven't found the other worlds possibly. It's a deep, big game. It's $20.

Is Minecraft big anymore? Yeah, it's still very big. You know, even on Twitch, it had a lot more viewers than Call of Duty or PUBG the other night when I hopped on Twitch, you know. It depends who's streaming, right? Yeah, I was going to say that, but I'm like, everybody knows.

Yeah, yeah. Like, Shroud can pick a game, and he can often make it a top five game. I wonder if he's getting paid for that yet right like yeah oh you think he is i know he is okay like how do you know because he said it's obvious yeah it's up because suddenly this week he's playing on woody craft well like i hope i'm not wrong about this and it's certainly not a bad thing if he's doing it but you know i think i want i think i saw him playing rainbow six which is a game he enjoys it's not like he's playing games he doesn't enjoy for money i don't think he would do that because he's got so much money but i want to say he had his own code for rainbow six like

he was advertising like that rainbow six was at a discount that week or something like that while playing rainbow six and so i'm sure he's doing very well. And of course, with things like PUBG, he has his own skins within the game. So he sold hundreds of thousands of those at $5, $10, $20 a pop and made enormous amounts of money on that. And he's got his own mouse pad now

and he's partnered up with a coffee company and a bunch of shit. I missed an opportunity on that uh back when i was i was a big deal in call of duty at one point and uh people were working with me to sell i forget what you could buy on xbox live but it was something virtual like stickers or something like that i think a lot of pro gamers did it and somehow dumbass me at the time thought that like selling virtual things was a little scammy maybe it was because everyone called me a money whore non-stop and i didn't want to make it true but i i just never did it and looking back it was like i probably

should have there's probably something to be made there yeah Yeah. We played a new game last night called The Forest. In The Forest, you begin the game. It's a multiplayer survival game. Survival horror. I think you can have up to eight players in a game. So you begin the game. You're in a plane. And suddenly the plane starts falling apart.

And it crashes on an island. And you and your friends survive the crash. You wake up and it appears that you've been unconscious for a bit because cannibals have already had at most of your flight mates and the evidence is nearby. They have tortured them and disemboweled them. And I guess there was a tennis team on the plane because like they're all stuffed full of tennis balls some of them like they'll take two guys and like put them back to back and put their heads in a tennis racket so they're like stuck together inside and they're all a bit just eviscerated they're all ripped apart there's arms hanging everywhere heads everywhere and you've got

virtually nothing you've got a tiny little hatchet, and that's how you start the game. You start chopping trees and chopping bushes and getting rope and sticks, and now you've got a spear, and you combine the spear with something else. You make a good spear. Did you say it was a survival horror game?

Survival horror. I'm just watching a little clip on Silent right now. This looks cool. If you want to play, I'm definitely down. I've been enjoying it a bunch. We played for... Is it multiplayer? Like Raft? Yeah. Imagine Raft, but we're on an island. There are cannibals after us.

It looks a lot better. It's a very good looking game. Very good looking game. There are caves to go down into and explore for more loot and stuff like that. The crafting system is pretty self-explanatory. Basically, you press inventory, I for inventory, and your character essentially lays everything he has on a blanket,

and you look at the blanket. And now you can just drag the items around. I like that a lot better instead of like a, a menu that pops up with a, with a bunch of squares with shit in it. It just seems like, oh yeah, this is how you would actually tend to your real life inventory.

It's very realistic in that way. You get wet, you get cold. Uh, you know, you got to build fires and cook food pretty regularly. Uh, there's a lot of building.

Um, you chop logs and sticks to build. We built a tree house right away to get away from the monsters. And aside from cannibals, there are, like, these mutants. These disgusting, like, pale, mini-limbed, screeching horrors. How did you pick this game? Yeah, how did you find this? I went on Steam and searched uh survival uh because i enjoyed

raft so much okay and this was one of the top rated survival games on steam and then how much is this one twelve dollars i want to say yeah also uh an early access game that's continually adding more stuff i think it's it's been out for a bit you know months now but um you know you can you can make poison arrows and you get there's like three or four tiers of the bow and arrow there's a gun but the gun is garbage it's like a flintlock pistol and it takes i found two pieces of eight and uh so far for my gun uh it's very scary at certain points like there's a lot of jump scares uh that are like pre-programmed into the game so like sometimes you'll be in a cave and just bats will fly into your face and screech at you you're like ah fuck and i'll be like what what and then

you'll trigger it as you catch up to that point and they'll do it to you as well like if you don't know what's coming we uh we immediately started going down into a cave when we started the game and there was a couple of baddies down there we hacked them to bits with our axes and we got some nice loot and then we went back upstairs above into the sunlight and then i found i found a cave and i was like hey guys here's another cave i'm first down the rope i'm i'm fast sliding down and i see movement below me and so i look down and there's a i'm to say a dozen infants with extra limbs writhing around. And then there's a monster that looks like you assembled 500 pounds of raw hot dogs together and made them wiggle. And it's screeching and flailing.

And I just went, nope, nope, back up the rope, back up the rope. And somebody slid past me on the rope because you can somehow you can pass each other on the rope and he was like what what oh god no oh they have me they have me and like the other three of us just keep nope nope you're on your own what happens when you die uh you lose all your shit you lose everything that you have acquired up until that point you have to either go back and try to recover your body or you can be revived but we weren't going back for him he was he was done he was done we're not going back for him he was done um is there an end game for this yet yes that's the best part all right so in raft

the end game is lame i'm not even going to go into how lame it is, but it's lame. In this, it's built like a AAA RPG game. It's like there's a mystery story being solved here. And as you're going around looting, you're finding clues that clue you into this thing. You're looking for your kid. He was on the flight, and we can't find him. into this thing you're looking for your kid you know he was on the flight and we can't find him and so there's like uh not to be too spoilerish but there is underground on this island there is a high-tech facility in which experiments are being done and you're going to eventually

infiltrate this facility and you're going to solve like this the whole mystery that's that's being created above ground it plays like Rust or something, where you're building cabins and surviving, and you're killing lizards to make armor, and you could play that forever indefinitely, just building cabins and rafts and chopping logs and building traps and catapults and fighting the zombies, or you can choose to focus on solving the main story quest.

So it looks like a game that's going to have a little bit of life. So yeah, I enjoyed that. I enjoyed that game a lot. I'm going to play some more. I think I'm going to play Vermintide. Yeah, Vermintide's going to be good. Colin likes Left for Dead so much that a newer one would be cool. I think

that's something we'd like. I hope it's not just waves. Like, do you ever play the Horde mode in Gears of War? Yeah, it was awful. I liked it for a few hours, but after a while, it's just not enough. It's the same thing coming at you until you lose. They were trying to copy caught zombies, essentially.

I think it predates it. No. That could be wrong wrong i'm not sure i never got it came out it came out after uh caught you know world at war was uh like 2010 and then gears uh i want to say it came out in gears too i it came out like the next year i want to say like it came out alongside like black ops or something black ops one or maybe modern war maybe it came out alongside modern warfare too uh i think that's how i remember but in any case it it was a poor substitute to zombies zombies is fun you know yeah we all know what

a zombie is but this was like why do they keep coming and why can't we just leave because that's as big as the level is. Jump into the water? You can't. There's an invisible wall there. You can hide behind any of these four pillars and to get between them you go, Oh! Chest high walls everywhere. Yeah.

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why do we need to have the government with legal agreements to ratify our relationship before we've decided we're ready for children? Oh, I don't think it should be a government thing. I was just looking at it from the perspective of like, okay, more kids out of wedlock means more kids raised by single parents, kids raised by single parents. That's like what the number one predictor of criminality later in life is not

having a father in the home, like single, single motherhood, single parent household. So for that reason, it's bad. I don't really think it needs to extend to what the government says. I agree with you.

The government shouldn't have to stamp your relationship. The number one predictor is let paint. I am a fool and a bigot. Specifically, if your great-great-grandfather ate paint chips as a kid, you should get into college for free. It's definitely bad that kids

are having single-parent households at such a high rate. Yeah, I'm going to agree. It's better if you've got a nuclear family. Excuse me, nuclear family. I think that that's preferable for a lot of reasons. And, of course, I'm not some traditionalist here. It could be two dudes or two ladies.

It could be three dudes. Hey, hey, hey. No, Taylor, you're wrong. With dudes, the train can go as long as you want. I've seen videos of this. Absolutely. Okay, then no more than two women. Why?

Because they can't form a train. Yeah, they can't. Okay, all right. Well, then what's the limit? What would be too much? It's actually just one guy and one girl outside of that. Otherwise there's no end. Cause with the girl,

you could just do on her back, on her belly, on her back, on her belly, and just like 69 it forever. Right. It'd be either the 69 with the line over the top. I don't see what this has to do with her parenting.

Maybe you do it differently than me. Um, but isn't that funny, though? That would be... Kyle was like, yeah, two women, two guys, a man and a woman, I don't really care. You make it three guys. My initial reaction was like, I don't know about that.

Three guys? Hold on, you've seen the movie. It would be like, something's up. If it was six men wanting to adopt a kid together... Hey, they say it takes a village. Yes. What if it was five if it was six men wanted to adopt a kid together hey they say it takes a village yes what if it was two villages that wanted to adopt one kid you know what is too much men to adopt one child if i get together with nine friends and we're like you know what like i don't

want to make the commitment to have a kid but i'm too mature for a dog let's all go in on a kid together and we can pass it around. So I'm thinking about this article. They call it the Rolling Stone Law. Five men can absolutely adopt one child. You can do it in Eastern Europe. I guess what it is is I instantly thought of a healthy relationship deciding no government interference,

and Taylor thought, probably more accurately, that these are just unplanned babies to unstable relationships that it's not a good thing. So maybe it's not about whether the births are outside of marriage or not. It's about whether the births are outside of a marriage-like relationship, a permanent relationship. Yeah, outside of a stable, permanent relationship. I don't think it would matter one bit if like for example if just marriage as a as a concept was dissolved

but every relationship was like stable and was like destined to stay together it wouldn't matter that you weren't married like it would still be way better than what we have now i keep devils advocating on this i'll flip positions again i if you're a kid don't you want your parents to be married like the other kids in school don't you kind of wish that they were actually married i think i think maybe i think it's probably me but like i'm not being very progressive i'm not big it's not the right word i'm not being very open-minded about this like oh no no no if the government doesn't ratify your parents relationship then you know it's not right but if i'm a kid i kind of want my parents to be married yeah i would see that from the perspective of like it

makes it more permanent and would put a child at ease so when the parents are arguing or something they can hear it in the in you know the downstairs while they're in bed they're not thinking oh my god it's over they'll at least think like okay well they'll work through it they'll they'll get through this these are my parents but i mean i can see myself at the office like oh no no yeah i've got my dad's name but my mom has like a different name and you know please don't don't judge our family i don't know i just wanted that yeah yeah it's the hyphenated last name kids i feel bad for them like when they have to like all those kids who can't have their name on the back of their sports jerseys without it being in like some shitty little font because like their mom needed to tag their name on yeah have you seen that like there's

one guy in the nhl who's like his mom must have like kept him on there as oliver ekman larson like two ekman larson so everybody else is like smith chara drew like normal names and his like because they have to try and fit all of it in there in one line so yeah for that reason don't raise your future nhl or child to have to get a special jersey oh imagine the horror imagine the horror. Imagine the horror of, you know, making that much money. But yeah, back to the marriage thing. I agree with you that it would help some,

but at the end of the day, I think the big thing is just the stability of the relationship, not the marriage itself. Like really just avoiding single parent homes. I really feel like you're taking a shot at single moms. Like you're saying they're incompetent. I'm saying that it's pretty evident that it's very difficult to raise a child on your own.

And it seems to result in a higher rate of, of problems. I remember Jackie fussed at me one time. This is, I don't know. This might be 10 years ago. And she was like, I feel like a single mom

and i'm like jackie no like i get it you're doing most of the child raising but the hard part about that is also having a job while you do it you're a stay-at-home mom it's a totally different thing you know like that's so not fair to say i feel like a single mom i'm changing diapers all day and what do i get for the end of it but to check my magic app on my phone that somehow has more money in my account? There's no reward. No, there's a little. That must be very frustrating to hear as a man, as you're busting ass for your wife to be like, I just feel like a single parent. I'd be like, bitch.

Fuck you. Let's swap for a day.. I'd be like, bitch. Fuck you. Let's swap for a day. Let's swap for a day. What do you do from this time? Oh, you take a nap while the kids nap? No, sorry. You're in meetings. You're in meetings at work.

I shouldn't bring my friend's business into this, but here I go. Sorry, unnamed friend of mine. He's living on an RV with his family. He has four children. And financially, he's the one pulling the train. And I think something about being on an RV with his family has sort of brought into the forefront.

They'll all be like, I don't know, they take the RV to a national park. And the wife and four kids all go out doing their thing while he stays back and dials into work and like you know make sure that everything's running okay there and uh he's like man yeah this rlv life is really great for them you know but but he's like i just not me yeah yeah i just have a tricky situation starbucks and siphon their wi-fi he has a data plan so he can like, so he can, like, I guess you can get unlimited wireless data plans that are better than phones and stuff.

They don't de-throttle. But, yeah, so I don't know. Something about all living in the same car really brings more attention to the fact that they're frolicking and he's out there working. I'm sure the mom's kind of working, too, in her own way. She's got four kids. Taking four kids to a national park sounds like work to me. But so does work.

An RV would be fun to buy someday. Really? Yeah. I think that would be like you could have some fun trips with that. But I would want to make the RV. First of all, I'd want to make it nice enough that I didn't want to leave the RV. And then I feel like I'd just be spending way too much time in an RV. First of all, I'd want to make it nice enough that I didn't want to leave the RV. And then I feel like I'd just be spending way too much time in an RV

watching TV and wasting time. And I wouldn't want to have to drive. Imagine how much that would suck if you pimp out an RV and it's so much fun to hang out back there and you're the one always driving. That would be hell. I think I could deal with the driving. The driving is not the part that bothers me.

I'm wired that here's who I am for people that don't know. I'm pretty on point. Like if we went to a group occasion, like paintball or something, right? We were hanging out in the lobby. I'm a good guy to be around. Like I'm fun or whatever, but that's actually draining me in ways I don't show.

So I want to go back to my room by myself and recharge. If I lived on an RV with five people, five other people, six total, there wouldn't be that alone time that I needed to recharge my mental batteries. And I would miss that. It's so obvious that I haven't actually put any thought into this RV thing because just from that little complaint you said, I'm like yeah you're right that would suck fuck that no screw that i'll just get a hotel and fly it turns out like like one of the things i like about this house usually we didn't use the game of thrones room at first it was just a room you

walk through i was like the best thing about that room is how it separates these two things like acoustically now it gets used a lot. There's a pretty comfortable couch in there. And Colin or I, mostly one of us, will go in there and just retreat and be by ourselves sometimes. And I don't know. It's something I like in my life. So, yeah, that's where I would fall down on the RV thing. So, yeah, that's where I would fall down on the RV thing.

Yeah, I think an RV would be something that's fun to rent and maybe go on a little one-time trip with some people. And I think you would definitely want a driver because I think one of the cooler things about the RV is that while you're traveling, while you're actually moving from point A to point B, you're essentially in a house rather than sitting in an uncomfortable car seat for hours and hours on end you've got a you know a television and a bed and a couch and a kitchenette and a table and you know you could be in the back playing cards or uh eating or cooking or watching a movie or fucking or you know anything anything that you can do in a house, but you can't really do in a car necessarily. But you need a driver. You need someone who's either really happy about driving a big, unwieldy vehicle,

or you just pay someone. I don't know. To me, it's not the traveling part. That's something you endure. It's the fact that the house is right at the spot. There's something called is it bushwhacking i don't know if you guys would know but that means you parked it in a spot where there are no resources there's no hookup for electricity or water or anything like that the rv has a

generator built into it then you are in like federal land with nothing around you but the edge of the grand Canyon or something like that and that's your that's your sunrise as you open your eyes you're on the edge of that cliff to the to the world you're in Monument Valley you're in these things that to me is the upside of it the fact that you put your hotel room where you want it that's that's neat to me is that legal to just like go live in the woods and just be off the grid and not have any utilities?

Let's say you're like, all right, I've saved up for a while. I'm going to Home Depot. I'm loading up this U-Haul that I'm not returning, bitches. And taking all the wood. Sounds illegal so far. Into the woods.

Okay, well, I know that part's illegal. And you build a cabin you put you know your board games and your your your books and your cigars and pipes all the things you need in the woods in there and then you just live there no utilities you're not paying taxes anymore you got no income like you're not homeless but that can't be illegal right it's not illegal why would it be kyle let me hear your side of it well where exactly are you going to live is this gonna be like public land because i i think i'm not sure if you can live out there i mean i know it would be illegal to do it sneakily on someone's private land so i guess it would have to be public land like but there's so much public land i could pick like a corner of utah or something that nobody's going to find me.

Let's see. I've always wondered that. You actually can live on and make a living on public land. The Homestead Act has expired. However, mining claims, as long as they are recorded and worked every year, are legal squatting, so to speak.

You do not own the land, but you can stay on it and work it for mineral production. Wait, so I can't just go live in the woods. I've got to find copper while I'm out there. Yes. Well, you like raft. Maybe you like RV.

A lot of metal. I really, that's what the saying says. Ooh, plastic and scrap. This is great. Just badly throwing a hook into the river. Man, well, that sucks. What a bullshit thing that I have to be a miner

in order to just live in the woods. That is totalitarian. If you're going to live in the woods with me, you damn well sure better be a miner. Yeah, I think that's the only way you can do it according to the stuff I'm seeing here. You've got to better be a miner. Yeah, I think that's the only way you can do it according to the stuff I'm seeing here. You've got to technically be a public land miner. That's shit.

Why can't you be like a fur trader or something? You're going to have to hunt for your own food anyway. What if you become a furzman? A furrier. A furrier, yes. Is that what a furrier is? Yeah. I want to say a furrier is someone who is turning the furs into products and selling them.

You can technically be a fur trapper if you're the first part of the supply line, I think. Okay, well then I'll be a fur trapper. I don't know what it is. I'll do it, though. That sounds better than mining. Because you have to kill the animals to eat anyway. You may as well go give the trapped fur to someone. Well, in any case, yeah, that'd be interesting. I think you'd be better off

just purchasing a bit of that wilderness land, because it's cheap as fuck. If you want some wilderness land, it's out there, and it's for sale, and it's cheap as fuck. Where? What are you talking about? If you want to go into the Great Smoky

Mountains, you could buy a nice plot up on one of those. I'm looking like the Big Rock Candy Mountains. The Big Rock Candy Mountains. I know every word to that song. I don't doubt it. I was wondering if you were going to sing the whole thing. I know nothing of this.

The land is fair and bright. Clearly he's making shoots and ladders references that I'm not getting. Where the handouts grow on bushes and you sleep out every night. The farmer's trees are full of fruit and the barns are full of hay. There's a lake of stew and a whiskey too.

You can paddle out around them in a big canoe in the big rock candy mountains. You could go out west to like Utah or the Dakotas and I bet land out there is just incredibly cheap. Wyoming must have some cheap land. Dozens of dollars an acre, you know what I mean? Dozens. But I bet it's that flat

i'll take a gross of acres dead land yeah right yeah wyoming has like half a million people there and it's bigger than like what every european country is it that big inside it's a pretty big state it's probably like not as big as germany or something like that but it's definitely like bigger than italy i would think and and the UK. Here you go. All right. I'm looking at Alaska right now. 120 acres, $50,000. It's wilderness.

I'm looking at it. It's like pine trees, hills, rocky outcroppings, and enormous amounts of water. I can deal with Wyoming winter, but Alaska winter, doesn't your pee freeze before it hits the ground it depends where you are in Alaska it depends what you've been drinking for some reason boiling water freezes faster than cold water

they throw it up in the air and atomize it so it gets that that's not how I pee though so maybe I'll be alright not if you're healthy do you ever have post sex pees where it's just like for the first That's not how I pee though, so maybe I'll be alright. Yeah, not if you're healthy. Do you ever have post-sex pees where it's just for the first

10 seconds, or it could be up to 10 seconds, for the first while of the pee it's just in different streams? That's not good. Absolutely, yeah. It's not clean, I should say. This Alaska property is very cheap. Some of them have like little

shanties on them here's one for 55 grand i'll just link them that that seems like it makes more sense uh it's uh 11 acres a shed and it's 55 grand um this looks like what you're talking about now if you got a little bit more money to spend i mean this interests me to be honest like like this looks like a crazy cool retreat 235 grand you're getting a cabin and 40 acres this is cool this would be a cool place to live until like you need supplies or want to talk to someone i mean look at this one. Like, wow, Alaska's cheap, apparently, because, you know, you're giving up...

Civilization. So I looked up in Wyoming. Oh, here, I'll screen share. It looks like you can get some Wyoming property, quarter million dollars for about 150 acres. So quarter million dollars for about 150 acres so quarter million real money it's not like dozens of dollars an acre but 50 acres is cheap i mean it's a lot 150 acres is quite a bit i put in 100 as my minimum search criteria you got some choices yeah this would be cool this one you linked kyle yeah but also that initial one you

linked seems like it would be a fun place just to hunt or whatever all right here's one woody here's a 55 grand lot here's a 40 acre ranch in wyoming 19 500 what yeah it comes with a building and it's 19 grand no no no a ranch oh I thought a ranch meant it had some sort of farm on it I'm not house horse property ranch

this one you just linked has a house photoshopped on okay the last one? I like it though. I like that they did something different. You can see all the way through. It's glass and things. Oh, it's 1.5 acres. It's like it's sinking. It's an acre and a half.

And it's Arkansas. Huh. Is it Arkansas? AK is Alaska. Well, that's important to know. Arkansas is AR. Yeah. Well, I just exposed a little something there.

I think you're right. It's okay. There's some places. Here's one in wyoming 300 grand comes with that oh it's a pretty small house 540 square feet but it has 102 acres yeah i feel like you don't need a big house out there anyway like the whole reason you're out there you're going to be spending most of your time outdoors doing something you start that? Yeah, forget the house. I think you just want the property and then you can park your RV out there. Hmm.

That is how we got here, isn't it? And then maybe... I was going to say chop some trees down, but apparently Wyoming doesn't have trees. As far as the eye can see in this photo, it's just flat. I mean, it's not like it's crazy flat but it's just desolate desolate land so yeah you know 20 grand you get yourself quite the quite the parcel

of land out there in wyoming 40 acres it's the 500 bucks an acre hmm no wonder cheney lives out there and the guy from red October. He's Montana, but they're the same state. People don't know. Yeah, yeah. Have either of you seen that Chaney movie? No. How is it? I haven't seen it, but I saw Sam Rockwell's and I really like Sam Rockwell. So I want to see that one. The guy who got shot

in the face and apologized for getting shot in the face says he can't wait to see it. Yeah, of course. I think it's great. I can't wait to hear it. Yeah. I think it's great. Yeah. I can't wait to hear it. Yeah. For people to know, uh, Chaney took a lot of crap for it.

Although the adult version of me is like, clearly it was an accident, but they were going maybe duck hunting, definitely bird hunting. And, uh, Chaney, I guess saw or heard a bird and shot this guy in the face and the chest.

And then the guy apologized for getting shot in the face and the chest and causing Chaney that much embarrassment. You know, it's not even that guy's fault. Maybe he's... Yeah, he probably walked out of line. It does... In Left 4 Dead, I shoot people all the time.

But dude, I was sitting there firing at a herd of zombies and you walked in front of my stream it's your fault really it happens in bird hunting sometimes you get like usually you're not that close to the person that gets shot like i've been shot with shotgun pellets but it's like across the field it stings you're like hey what the fuck that what if that was my eye yes oh i'm wearing glasses that'd be Oh, that's smart. Yeah.

I would be a fool, I guess. I've never hunted anything, I think. Yeah. Middle of the day, it's bright, sunny, summertime when you do this sort of thing. But it's a field full of guys with guns shooting at birds that are like swooping around. And usually the smart people, yell low bird if there's a bird coming onto the field that's low enough that the angle you would take to fire at it would lead to you possibly shooting another person and that's a warning don't shoot at that one but you know you got a bunch of

jackasses who might shoot once a year or three times a year and they're you know they got their camo on they got their they got their costume on they're cosplaying a hunter and they got all their licensing they got their gun loaded up and they can get sugar happy and wait sting your ass is having their licensing a bad thing because it kind of sounded like it got lumped like no i mean they shoot you they dress stupid they have licenses and i'm like wait a minute one of these things doesn't fit like I thought but it's like part of their like yeah I got a license

and everything you know it's like yeah the rest of us have lifetime licenses I have a lifetime license yeah there you go see get it done but anyway yeah I know some guys that one shot the other and the pellets were embedded in his back

they had to be picked out. But it wasn't surgical. It was like a tweezer and rubbing alcohol type situation to get the pellets out of his back and ass. But it wasn't life-threatening in any way. But from what I understand, Chaney was close to this guy and blasted him in the face pretty good from, you know, maybe 20, 30 yards or something like that. And that's serious. Hmm. Chaney, maybe he was a little past his prime in time.

He was 65 at the time, was he? Yeah. Maybe I was young and people who were 50 looked incredibly old to me at the time. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. Accidents happen. You would have to see it to really be able to judge exactly what happened and you're never gonna get

the real story out of those guys i don't think yeah the guy might have fucking cheney's wife for all we know or like or like maybe he did something politically that changed it like he's like that's kind of fun now like it so realize of where you stand politically there is a thing that's happening in that uh kellyanne conway's husband is a big trump critic and i don't think he's in a he's like a real person of prominence like the kellyanne is but by virtue of being married to her he becomes one so he often like tweets shit talking to trump and it's fun to watch yeah i've seen that uh and i've seen it talked about more than I've actually seen it myself. That's funny.

I like when you've got that sort of thing going on. I'm trying to think what the guy's name... There was a famous political couple where one was a Democrat and one was a Republican. Madeline Albright? Was that one of them or am I making that up? And the guy's name was James Carvell or something close to that? Yeah, Raging Cajun.

Yeah, he's... I know that he's part of the duo That is that I don't know about James Carvell and Mary Madeline Yeah Yeah That was always an interesting Dynamic that they had I loved in old school when

Will Ferrell has to debate someone And James Carvell is the one The host of Hardball had i loved in old school when uh will ferrell has to debate someone and they'll and then james carvel is the one the host of hardball the raging cajun i saw for people don't know mary madeline and james carvel they would go on shows and at the time this like crossfire type format was really popular maybe still is and it's just food fight news where they get people from either side and they start hurling stuff at him so james carvel is is there and he's uh i forget what the topic was i wish i knew but he was like man you guys are doing this and you really shouldn't be messing with that and she starts singing to him it's my party and i'll cry if i want to and it was just like only your wife

could get away with that bullshit in a political debate. But she like, it seemed like she needled him in a sore spot and called him a cry baby. And it was just like, you guys are so good together. It was fun.

Yeah. I was a kid when that was happening, but I'm definitely aware of it. I remember, you know, watching that stuff on the news. Yeah, it's happening now. It's just over Twitter instead of CNN. Yeah.

You watch any good YouTube channels lately? Who has your attention? Well, I've been watching a lot of that RAF content to try to get better at that. I watched a bunch of that. I watched that other game, The Forest. I watched a bunch of that content. I still watch a bunch of Shroud, both on Twitch and on YouTube. He's falling off my personal radar. I watched a bunch of that content. I still watch a bunch of Shroud both on Twitch and on YouTube.

He's falling off my personal radar. I don't know how that happened. I'm just as interested. It's just so good. It's just another level of gaming skill. It's fun to watch him do stuff that I can't. I guess nobody really can

but him, it seems. It's good shit. You combine perfect accuracy with perfect decision-making, and you get Shroud. It's interesting to see it go to other games, too. I'm sorry, carry on. I've been watching some cooking channels. I'm going to make a beef wellington pretty soon, and so I've been watching as many videos as I can

on how to make a beef wellington because it's a very difficult thing to make. How much does a brisket cost brisket's pretty cheap I don't know but a beef wellington is a tenderloin so it's the whole tenderloin it's it's pretty expensive um do you know what a brisket is one recently and it was great do you know what a brisket is Kyle like can you picture it in your head no oh it is a brisket yeah it's big like it's uh the size of your it's bigger than your quad i think like it's it's a big hunk of meat and i see people make them and or they get very excited but it takes a long time to cook them they cook them very slowly and uh there are some people who cook them on grills and there's like snake techniques

to arranging the carcals charcoal i mean to, to get like a 10 or 12 hour burn. And they just cook it all day. It's been on my radar because I have Facebook friends that talk about their briskets that they're making. But it's so much food. It is such a large chunk of meat. Like is that a $150 piece of meat? I don't know what a brisket costs. I thought maybe you would.

That seems expensive. $150 piece of meat? I don't know what a brisket costs. I thought maybe you would. That seems expensive. $150? Well, it came from my hat. I have no idea. Yeah, I'm not really sure. Let's see what Costco has. Costco's got good meat. You've been watching any YouTube channels lately, Taylor?

Who has your attention? I've been watching a lot of this guy brian shaw his channel is called shaw strength he's like a mr olympian not mr olympia uh that's bodybuilding he's like a strong man like power lifter kind of guy and he's like even more so like you know how joe lozon you know as a fighter has that demeanor of like oh you're not going to bother me. I know I could kick your ass or whatever. I can't do Boston. But he is like that, but even more so. Because

in the same room as any professional fighter, he'd probably still win. He's just too big of a human to try and fight against. When you're 6'8", 400 pounds, and you've got some of the biggest hands on the planet, and a challenge challenge for him is like hey we're gonna see if you can roll up frying pans and he's like i don't know you know it could be kind of hard and then he's just

not at all oh he slipped in a cast iron one this one just cracks yeah it's it's so impressive uh and then uh another fitness guy juji mufu he's got a more like fun uh kind of like fitness and like doing fun shit channel and he's just like one of the most athletic people on earth like he's jacked out of his mind but he can still like do the splits and do back flips and like parkour kind of shit it's really neat it's like god you're you're like a jack-of-all-trades kind of athlete. How old is he? I've been watching more stuff like that. I would guess early 30s. I'm not sure how old he is. That's what I've been watching mostly.

And then, of course, the constant carousel of... I've stopped watching primitive technology, and I started watching those two Filipino kids or Cambodian kids or wherever the hell they are you know uh do you know that that survival channel either of you i don't think so it's like it's like primitive technologies but it's even it's even more it's more uh ambitious it's more intense yeah more ambitious i think i have seen it they like make a hot tub or something right they made primitive technology is amazing because he makes like a clay brick and you're like oh my god this guy really knows how to make a brick these guys like you

you dug a pool with a stick the fuck yeah they'll like dig a pool with a stick and they built like a running water style fountain so that they could like catch fish in the nearby river and then come store them in like the running water area nearby so they don't have to go catch fish every time they can just have like a standing pool of of fish and i don't know like they built it to the point where i'm like that looks that that's so good it actually looks comfortable like it doesn't look even look shitty anymore these briskets are expensive they're a lot more than that it's a big chunk of meat I bet you're looking at online

prices and ordering meat online gets very expensive you want to find a local butcher and it's much more affordable and it's nice to go in there and see what you're getting I enjoy going to the butcher but I'm going make that uh beef wellington and once i feel like i know exactly

what i'm doing uh i don't want to mess up an expensive piece of meat i've been watching a lot of hell's kitchen with gordon ramsey and that's something that's on the menu a lot and i'm just watching these chefs fail at it over and over and over until he's kicking them out of the kitchen and I don't want to fail at it my first time. Do you guys know the lockpicking lawyer? No. All right, the channel has nothing to do with law, but he's well-spoken and he's educated

and something about knowing he's a lawyer doing this adds to his aura and he just has really well videoed videos of him picking locks and he'll talk about it too and he takes down the locks in different ways right sometimes they'll be like this is a ram set gun that uses a 22 cartridge to fire a nail and if i shoot the lock right here i'm in you're like all right interesting but i don't have a ram set nail thing and he's like here i've opened a pen cap and i slid it in here as a shim and i got right in and you're like whoa these are like this uh hedge trimmer is the perfect tool to defeat this you know like cable based cable-based lock. And then he picks them.

And he picks these like, so I'm learning to pick locks. And I suck at it. I'm slow. You'd see me sitting on your front door for 15, 20 minutes. But I can pick easy locks now. And he can pick hard locks. And so the way that a lock works is there's these little, there's a core and then these pins.

And you have to push the pin up while tensioning it, like the similar thing to what turning the key would be. And if you put the pin up in the right way, it kind of clicks in spot, gets above the ledge, and do one, two, three, four, five, and then maybe three catches. Then go one two three i'm sorry one two four five until one catches and each time you know you work your way around and i'm always lost like all right i'm touching one now is it one or is it two is it two or is it like he knows exactly what he's doing he picks unpickable locks and it is just it's competence porn like there's a general category on youtube of competence porn right like here's a guy laying a hardwood floor but he's

genius at it he's incredible and that's what this guy is for locks and it's fun to watch the different way he defeats them the uh i've never watched lock picking stuff whenever i need a when i i've locked myself out of places before and i always call the same locksmith and he just uses a gun like a lock pick gun it's a little hand help you check it check it check it check it check it check it check it needs him that yeah there um you can use a a rake and get a similar type thing and it's basically the same thing a gun does except you slide it with your hand and uh that works but somehow it doesn't seem as cool to me to use a rake as it does to like do each pin and there's a limit on how challenging a lock you can do with a rake as opposed to i've got a lock pick kit somewhere uh that i bought uh one time at knob creek uh the guy was

just like you know he's he would he had a bunch of locks on the table and he's just like yeah this one works like this clickety click clicky clack clickety-clack. Similar. Yeah. I picked my front door one time, and I was like, okay, let's just keep up with the key and this won't ever be a thing. When you pick your own front door lock afterward, are you like, well, I don't feel as safe as I used to.

This is all that keeps them away. I picked the doorknob, not the deadbolt. Oh, okay. Woody, is that a lock you have in your hand right now? It's a starter lock. I'll show it to the people and then to you guys. And what makes it interesting is you can see the mechanism. I don't know. Probably not good enough.

But you can see what each of the pins are doing. So as you first learn to pick, you can see the impact of what it's not all you're not blind and then once you sort of know what you're doing like i do you can take that and do it blind can you do that one blind already uh yeah but it's slow i can do it in a like it probably take me three or four minutes to do it while looking at it and four times that while not while blind yeah i've done it without looking i wonder what a little fun niche thing to learn would be like lock picking i guess i could just go through the skyrim you know creative classes i was learning to sneak

oh yeah it's really creeping my neighbors out, to be honest. You just walk around everywhere like this. I basically just find a lady at the mall, try to get right behind her and stay there as long as I can before she slaps me. The unexpected bonus is all the upskirt videos I've made. bonus is all the upskirt videos i've been remember that mega 64 video from like 12 years ago where he walked around like those conventions as the assassin's creed guy like actively pushing people like hard out of his way the way that made me laugh so hard they used to have great videos but yeah i always like that's how i got into candle making briefly where i'm like i want to do something like kind of weird that i never thought i would try ever and i did and it's like yeah this is kind of fun and relaxing but at the same time

it's a lot of setup and you know not a regular thing i can just hop and do uh what's what's something else i was at a paramotor field and uh you know because look there was a couple that lived in a con xbox i'm already picturing kyle's reaction to living in a Connex box, but I thought it was neat because it was right at the field. Anyway, they lost the key to the padlock on their house. And a friend of mine had a lockpicking kit, and they were so amazed with him. They're like, oh, my God. Like, he was the most badass of badasses. Wait, they live in a shipping container?

On weekends, but yes. I didn't know what Connexbox meant. It's just, for everybody out there, it's just a shipping container. It's that big rectangular box that you'll see on trains. This is how Ukrainian prostitutes get to America.

It absolutely is. Some people use those to make very nice houses. They put a lot of them together, and they paint them, and they're connected, and it's fine. People also use them to make bunkers. You would dig out a big rectangular

hole in the ground, and then you bury the connex box, and it's got a port in the top that you go down into, and then you bury the connex box and it's got a a port in the top that you go down into and then you could furnish the thing really well and and add electrical and and and air and that sort of thing and if you're really crazy about it you could bury six or seven of them and have them all touching each other with ports so that you go between one to the other bulkheads essentially like a submarine so he never did get the lock open yeah but i can't i feel like an asshole just telling a story but i was so envious of all

the praise he got for like even attempting to open a lock and i'm just like this is a failed attempt to open a lock why are we all so amazed i could have failed at opening a lock so what inspired you was the respect someone else was getting with a lock picking kit and you're like what do i need to learn to do to get i could be that guy i could be yeah now like look i had a winch on my truck for 15 years i have actually it had maybe two times during that 15 years have I ever rescued another car. But the times it happens, like you're the man. You're the guy with the winch

that can pull other cars out of mud. You're the winch man. If you want respect, invite these people over to your house and they will see your house from the distance. They'll be like, that's the biggest shipping container I've ever seen. How many shipping containers is it, Woody?

Must be five, six hundred. Look how he put brick and wood over them. You can't even see the metal. They've got some kind of underground rooms in this home. Look at that. He hollered a bunch of shipping containers

outfitted up with water in the backyard. It's a pool. As I got there eventually. Hang on. Let me park my shipping container over here in your yard. We're just going to move in. We'll live with you.

I imagine them as super white trash individuals individuals that's why i'm doing that boy uh they're not they're ex-military type of course they live in a shipping container ironically yes that would be a funny way to live your life is just like shitty and unsuccessful and be like yeah but i'm doing it ironically i'm ironically shit at all of this no they uh yeah they ran in some challenges in life and i think he was uh i don't want to give away all the stuff but he was living there because he had a commute so that weekend he was it was almost like camping by the field so that he could be there over the weekends yeah so is it just like in a normal place black in there uh windows no like one lamp smells like he had a generator he had uh air

conditioning and heat and it was like somewhat insulated and there was a little door that separated the bedroom from the rest of it so you could like i could go in but i wouldn't necessarily be walking into their bedroom and it was the constant fear that someone would walk by outside and just put a lock on it and walk away. That would suck so bad. I never thought of that. Oh my God, how would they get out? They would die.

They would die. You have to at all times keep some sort of tool in your shipping container that could be a Jaws of Life thing. I keep an 8-inch grinder in there and 15 batteries. It's the only way i'm getting to sleep at night knowing if i got dude i can cut my way out do cell phones work inside shipping containers no they don't i've seen i know that from movies i know i know i know that

because i watched this guy's youtube videos where he was living in a uh a rental um like a storage rental shed one of the indoor ones like in Breaking Bad where he kept his money. He was living in one of those. Essentially what he had to do was he ran a wire outside up the wall and painted it the same color as the wall so you couldn't see it. There's a cell phone signal thingamabob

up there kind of out of the way. He's also got a cable coming out and stealing the electricity from the place. When you open the shed, it's a living space. There's a bed. There's a little hot plate and a toaster oven. There's a television.

And he's explaining this isn't my life's goal. I'm down on my luck. I don't have anywhere to live. I'm working two jobs. How do you know this? Is he a YouTuber? Where are we seeing this? There are YouTube videos of this. Essentially, there's a couple of them.

He's like, I'm working hard to get a place. By the end, gets himself a place. It's kind of a nice story. You get a full story out of this guy. At the end, he's like, now I have an apartment so much nicer and I don't have to worry about someone coming by and locking me inside of

a storage shed till i die dude because it's a it's illegal and dangerous i hadn't thought of the storage shed idea oh that's like i'm guessing a storage shed's about probably 200 a month something like no dude like 20 a month okay i paid a lot more than that for a storage like roof i used to have an off-roading buggy and it oh yeah like i don't know if you've ever pictured it it's like there's like three sides with the long i've been there yeah oh okay i forgot that you had been there so anyway that was like over 100 a month so it's like 110 i think that's fucking expensive i've got um i've got a few storage units that i've got like my workout equipment's in right now 25 a month it's like it's a big one i mean it's like

you walk in and it's like i'm just gonna picture the steps and like do the make up the math in my head i'm gonna say it's four steps wide which is 12 feet and maybe seven or eight steps deep which is 24 maybe 12 by 25 yeah about 12 by 25 room and it's like 25 35 dollars a month or something like that maybe mine of me first I drove farther but what I was gonna say is so that guy lived in a storage thing which is cool I've seen people on like YouTube or TV live in tents. And same sort of situation. They needed a cheaper lifestyle, right? I think the people I'm thinking of had student loan debt.

And just between their student loan debt and their regular cost of living, an apartment and such, they weren't catching up. They weren't getting ahead. They had jobs, but they were just sort of stuck there. So they bought a tent a good tent but still like you couldn't stand up in it or anything i mean don't get all highfalutin on me and uh but they live there for like five dollars a month and when your place costs five dollars a month you can pay down some debt in a hurry like 18 months months later, they had solved all their problems. And sometimes I wonder, like, you know, that doesn't sound that insane to me.

No, no, no. I like that. Compared to like, oh, yeah, I graduated school 18 years ago and I just made my last student loan payment. Like, really? What if you had done that for 18 months and then spent the next 16 and a half years debt-free for most people i think it would probably make more sense to move in with your move back with

your parents right and like because because that way now there's a roof and you're with your family that you presumably love and care about and and you know maybe maybe it costs you a hundred dollars a month to live but it's a hundred dollars that they don't have to pay because you're assisting them with this or that and buying a few groceries um But if you don't have any choice, I can totally see, yeah, camping for a year and just really paying down some debt. Yeah, that makes sense. See, that I'm fine with. It's the people who elect to do these silly things that I just don't get. When you elect to be a van man or you elect to be a professional hobo, essentially,

which is what you are if you decide to live in a tent. You're a professional homeless person. You're just doing it better than they do and you don't have syphilis. You're doing it ironically. You might not have syphilis. Maybe not. That penicillin is expensive.

It's ridiculous. A friend of mine is doing van life right now um people are going to know who i'm talking about who know his name is tucker he's a uh he's got three quarters of a million subscribers and uh um he lives in new jersey and he's a paramotor person so it's christmas time ish in new jersey it's not good paramotor weather so what's he doing he's going to where it is and he's he's in like monument valley and like i was gonna say indian reservations i don't think he's actually on i mean disrespectful or something but uh but he's at like rock structures that are mind-blowing. He flew by the Hoover Dam. He's just doing some amazing, cool stuff.

He's out west where it's below sea level, and he's flying around there. In terms of making content and electing to be a van lifer, it just seems like such a win for who he is right now. I could rationalize it in his situation as like a a content creator you know because it really is it's paying for itself and it's giving you like baked in content just to go on this like thing like just driving around you'd be like oh here's another thing i could do there's two more videos or there's three more videos so for him it makes sense if i were some popular youtuber and i could make money driving around in a van fuck yeah i would but like for leisure i i've already totally switched from my hard stance

20 minutes ago and now i'm against it so i'm very very fickle but you'll convince me again soon yeah i'm just i'd like to live as in a house i i i don't know what the the way to phrase it is but as as easily as possible you know as with as with as many amenities as reason allows and the van does not get that done it's weird because i do live that way pretty much, I think. But a weekend in a tent seems so appealing to me, and I can't explain why. Yeah, a weekend.

Yeah, a taste of the other life. But not a month, not a year, not a long-term thing. And the van especially. Because the thing about the van life is there is another group of people who live the van life because it's their only fucking option and there's only one tier of person below them and that is the street hobo like it there's a there's a fine line between van man and street hobo and and all it takes is one like late night cigarette rolling behind the seat burning the van down and then you're a street hobo so tucker's not on the edge but i i feel

like in van life there's a spectrum of how forced it is right there's the people with the student loans that they can barely keep up with who like opt into the van life but they were in an apartment they just decided to go this way and it combined a sense of adventure with the sense of frugality and then there are of course in the other extreme people who straight up got evicted and now they're living in a toyota corolla you know and they're they're outfitting included just one of those like sun visors for privacy. That, to me, is the kind of person Kyle's talking about, the person below. But there's a lot of people who were just like, yeah, you know what?

Let's take our last month's rent, our $2,000, and turn this van into something that's more livable and give it a go for 18 months. Yeah, you know what? I'm just tired of my husband beating my ass every time he gets drunk. Come on, kids. Get in the van. Yeah, it'll be like camping. Wow. There's a whole group of people that are like that.

You know camping where you're scared, looking behind your shoulder all the time, knowing that that beast of a man is coming again? Your fucking father. I swear. Your father. And then it's just her. And then that goes on for a while. And then she beats her kids in there, and that's how you create van kids. She beats them in a van.

And they never feel they're good enough for stationary homes. You were born a van kid, and you'll always be a van kid. Look at you all half-lutin' in your built house. You live on the wrong side of the tracks sometimes. I knew where that was going. Remember in Ozark when the trailer trash girl is like,

I'm saving up enough money so we can get a real house. And the dad's like, you ain't never going to be good enough for a real house and the dad's like you ain't never gonna be good enough for a real house we trailer folk and it's just like god damn it's always dragging the fucking i have a certain blindness to poverty because i look at trailers and they look like houses to me like i some do it depends like like wings trailer's fine that's that's that's fine and it is a trailer god goddammit. All right? Just chill out with this modular home nonsense, okay?

It's not a modular home. Stop. It's a trailer. Be proud to live in a trailer. It's a fine trailer. Beautiful couches. You say that every time. Dude, those couches kick ass.

Come on. Your couches are nicer. Just stop calculating. We all know you got nice couches, motherfucker. My couch is like 14 feet long. It's ridiculous. Of course! You got nice couches, bitch. You're over there like, well, his

was supple, though. It was. It was so comfortable. I fell asleep involuntarily on New Year's Eve on Wings' couch. It was a decent couch or whatever. Carry on. Mod was so comfortable. I fell asleep involuntarily on New Year's Eve on Wings' couch. It was a decent couch or whatever. Carry on. What I'm getting at is there's a whole tier of

trailers that are well, well below what Wings lives in. I drive past those places occasionally where it's 30 single wide trailers. I'm not even talking about a trailer park because a modern trailer park is not that bad. It like pre-planned so there's like asphalt roads that go throughout and it's kind of like a planned neighborhood with cul-de-sacs and like like the roads all spring out

in the correct directions they have street signs and such and and uh and the trailers are all appropriately placed very symmetrically there are trailer parts where it's just like a grass field with 30 single wide trailers that are all different colors. The main palette is rust. They've all got hand-built wooden porches on them. Sometimes you can see the blocks that they're sitting on underneath. There's garbage in the yards. It looks like a paintball course.

It looks like a paintball course it looks like a paintball course you know and and that's a that's pretty low and then there's a whole nother tier where that's even below that where these people don't even have single wides they're living in like these little i don't know what you call them but they're like a quarter the size of a single wide trailer it's almost like a camper like like the kind that you would like pull behind a truck well they just like knock the wheels off that bitch and put it on blocks and parked it somewhere. I've been in plenty of trailers, and it is poverty. When you really get a good look at the building materials on the inside, the insulation, what the walls, the doors, the flooring are all made of,

it's real bottom-tier stuff. It's not a great thing. I've never looked at mobile homes before but some of these are look pretty nice they do they absolutely do like uh yeah let me link like this is like 70 000 and it looks really nice that uh that guy out west um he he was living in a modular home um while they built his mansion it was the one i destroyed in that v in that video like that was a that had two stories didn't it uh yeah but it was a modular home it was built in sections and then the sections were like assembled together like legos you know it wasn't a uh it was a pre-built home and that is a true

modular home that's what a modular home is this one that you see the one i just linked you oh oh you're talking yeah yeah if modular home just means it's built in a factory and transported on site it could be a lot of different things yeah this one's kind of nice that's right i think this well i was gonna say i like this kitchen more than mine, but I like our fireplace. But, I mean, this is not what I would have pictured. Yeah, it's pretty nice. That's a good couch right there.

If anyone's looking at the video version of this, that is a legit couch. I know a man who made it in the world when I see where he sits. I don't know why you now have that accent. It's typical in Jersey it's a nice home it's fine it's fine I think it's a bit deceptive looking at it

that looks like a hardwood floor but I bet it's linoleum that's colored like hardwood I see carpet to me I'm looking at the kitchen that's colored like hardwood. I see carpet to me. I'm looking at the kitchen. Those look like marble countertops, but I bet it's fiberboard with a plastic overlay on them.

And the walls. My brain assumes it's proper drywall, but I wouldn't be surprised if the walls weren't much stronger than curtains. You could punch through that wall very easily. I can't tell you how thin. Like a sixteenth of an inch thin. Yeah. I've never lived in a modular home or trailer or whatever.

So there were things I wasn't aware of. Like you can't have a fish tank, right? In my house, you can put a fish tank anywhere you want. 55 gallons, 70 gallons, I don't give a fuck, right? These places, oh, yeah, that will fall through through the floor that part of the house will sink like stuff like that is that's the difference in like workmanship and stability and yeah my dad had a trailer that he rented out when i was a kid and then like those people we finally got rid of those awful tenants and uh and he wheeled the trailer back way back in the

field and was just essentially abandoned it and so my cousin would go in there and that was like a little fun house you know a little little clubhouse it's essentially a home that you know we turned into our clubhouse which was cool and then like i don't know we basically got dad was you know we don't care i don't care what you do with it you know it's garbage now we could we could we're not allowed to burn it legally, but eventually we just need to get rid of it. But if it catches fire, that's fine. That was kind of understood.

Basically, my cousin and I just destroyed it with tools, with our bare hands. We'd go in there and just go ham. I don't know what... It may sound ridiculous, but it was fun for an 11, 12-year-old kid to go into a house and let loose with a baseball bat. You know, just destroy anything.

Oh, is that windows in the way? Well, fuck it. You know, just kicking the doors. There was a house. So until I was 12, I lived in New Jersey. And from the time I was three to 12, there was a field, the one we burnt down, if you know the story.

And in it, there was a house that was like garbage. I'm trying to describe how just terrible it was. We would enter the house through the roof because it had caved in and the siding of the house was just exposed cinder block. So, but it was a house house. Like there was a couch in there and television and

a kitchen. I've smoked maybe two cigarettes in my lifetime and one of them was from that kitchen after we climbed a tree onto the roof and entered the home because the roof had collapsed. Anyway, we might have broke some shit And I can understand how fun it was. Very fun. We basically destroyed that house with our bare hands. And when I say destroyed, I mean, we ripped the roof off. It looked like a dog found a feather pillow.

Yeah, we got on the roof with hatchets and cut the tin roof off the house. Like you would in Minecraft, how you're just like, oh, let's just hammer away but hammer the day away for fun and just completely destroy all of this we just did that to that house sounds a little dangerous but it was kids did more dangerous shit back in the day yeah we got hurt uh i got cut you know stuff like that it would get full of wasps uh and we'd go in there

and fight the wasps that's when i made that bee suit that time and nearly nearly uh asphyxiated inside of it uh didn't get stung though so that was nice i've been watching that guy who gets who gets stung by awful shit a good bit more the guy and he's kind of fun to watch oh and i've been watching it up a little you know i i was maybe a little but i'll tell you what i also watched i watched him get stung by a regular old yellow jacket and he was like ah you know this isn't nothing to this compared to what i normally get stung by and i felt like that was a good barometer could he have been adding credibility like oh this thing that you felt is nothing but this thing only i've tried is and but it's not just him you can look up videos of other people being stung and bitten by these things and

none of the other people are like, ouch! Jeez! They react similarly. Like I said on the Hangout the other day, Patreon's linked down below if you want to join us in the Hangout sometime. If you'd like to try the bullet ant on Forsythe,

I'll order you one up. I don't want to play. Don't call me on my shit-talking, Kyle. It's in point. Anytime. I'll pay the $600 to get the queen bullet ant and the five workers.

$100 an ant? You basically get a colony. I'll send him one soldier ant, and then I'll farm myself colony i'll send him one soldier ant and then i'll farm myself up enough over here and sell them online man recoup my money can you imagine the panic you'll feel one day when inevitably you walk into that room and there are no more ants you would you would genuinely have to i don't know what you would do i guess bug bomb the house uh what if that doesn't

kill a bullet ant yeah all these people who are trying to make money mad all these people who try to make money making puppies like like like get you know breeding dogs you're missing out on the bullet ant phenomenon apparently because i we i found them online and i'm pretty sure like a queen and i think it said five to eight of the regular ones the males were 587 i think is the price i found so like you know just buy that grow your and just and how long is the reproduction cycle of a goddamn ant it's gotta be short yeah you'd have a colony in a year maybe in a month through one step away from fruit flies there you go uh i so so yeah anytime you want to get he said it hurt i'm gonna go sean hannity on this one i will absolutely be

waterboarded by fire ants yeah yeah he uh he he ducked out taylor you muted yourself i think he watched a video of someone getting waterboarded and was like, oh no! Oh no! I watched Christopher Hitchens get waterboarded in some YouTube video years ago, and he lasted three seconds before he was getting up. That is a torture method. Watching it,

it doesn't look bad at all. But experiencing it seems like it would just be a panic. Like you're in total blackness. All of your orifice is just full of water and like a wet rag. I've done it and it's awful. Kyle, I want you to follow up with this.

The strategy, I've never done it, but the strategy seems to be hold your breath, right? I've done lots of other things underwater holding my breath. It seems fine. I've been in surf and rapids and this and that. Why doesn't one? And I've seen people be like, yeah, I thought I would just go

and hold my breath. People don't last three seconds? Insanity to me. Because I can hold my breath, I don't mean to brag, far longer than three seconds. So, why doesn't that work? Maybe you just go into a panic from it. No, even if you held your breath, holding your breath will be a terrible strategy because I have

gallons of water. I might have a water hose. I'm going to, you're, you're, you're elevated head down, rag over your nose and mouth, and the water's going to keep pouring. So hold your breath until you're completely out of oxygen. Then you're going to start gasping and you're going to, it's going to be twice as bad as it would have been if you'd just been fighting for air with oxygenated blood this entire time. Now you're completely out of oxygen. Now you need as much as you can get. You're, you're, you're at a panic level and you're, and you're really sucking water into your nose and throat and mouth and down your lungs, and now you're coughing, and you're not even getting enough to barely keep it. You might go unconscious.

That makes sense. If you're waterboarding me with a beaker or maybe even a coffee cup, then my strategy is pretty solid. But if they have a hose or three-gallon jugs, then you're just going to have a out of water yeah they're going to have an endless supply of water it's there you know we're not to brag but the usa we got all the water you can handle all right we're gonna get a hose some fellows are gonna keep bringing buckets we're not gonna run out it's not gonna happen like this is like such it such like a oxymoron but waterboarding seems like the most humane torture yeah doesn't it like i don't think

yeah torture people if i trust like fingernails being ripped out and there's bamboo things and all that oh i've talked about this before anytime i see like a murder on youtube or uh a torture it gets to this oh my god you can't undo that stage if if kyle's waterboarding me and i trust that he's not feeling homicidal at the moment then it's really just uncomfortable because i'm gonna be fine the second he elevates my head over my feet, right? I'll come right back. I can imagine though, if I'm, you know, some terrorist being waterboarded by the CIA, that I don't have that trust. Oh, of course not. Yeah. You're like, I'm going to die. Yeah. Like, oh man, they keep telling me the other people died and this is how

they do it slowly. It's, it. Slowly. It's awful. It's just so goddamned awful. How did you get waterboarded? For a video. Is it on YouTube? No. The footage was awful. We decided we couldn't use it.

We substituted that footage for a chicken pecking my crotch. And made it a funny torture. Is this the one where you were tied to a chair yeah yeah that one get demonetized for even that no oh i don't know i just made that up then no that that that was that's one of my favorite videos that we've ever done that was uh you know the the idea was like we were making that mobile game and uh it was like it was like let's make a funny way to pitch the Kickstarter for this mobile game that we're going to do. And the idea was like let's make up some kind of financial trouble that I'm in.

And the idea was that I had borrowed some money from like the Russian mob, and instead of making the game that I had promised for this joint business venture, I had spent it on making a Russian rap video. And then I like play the Russian rap video, like a segment of it that we made, which is just ridiculous. It's literally me rapping, right? Is it you with a couple of really hot girls who touch you inappropriately? Yeah, my girlfriend didn't care for that.

And I was like, yeah, how are you making a video? She's like, they're grabbing your dick. girls who touch you inappropriately yeah my girlfriend didn't care for that and uh i was like yeah how are you making a video she's like they're grabbing your dick it's my job i know it was terrible i put food on your plate you ingrate bitch i was like you've seen rap videos she's like even in rap videos it'll grab dick i was hoping you hadn't seen them actually i was hoping that you didn't watch a lot of rap videos um but but yeah there was a part where jeremy and uh aiden uh aiden was the really tall good looking uh rich guy uh who was in chicago with us for a while he's british guy oh i remember 80 yeah yeah they're the two

thugs who are uh, like torturing me. And you know, they, they elevated the chair back and they, I don't remember what kind of cloth they put over my face, but then they just start the glug, glug, glug,

pouring water on my face. And it's going down your nose and your throat. And I'm, you're just coughing it up as best you can, but it just keeps coming. It was awful. Huh? I still,

I was about to say, I want to try it, but I don't want anyone watching this to call me on this horse shit either. This is going to be another fire ant scenario. I want to try it with my wife giving it a go incompetently where I can say I beat waterboarding. That's what I want. Anytime you want to get waterboarded, we can probably make that happen. You know people.

I just want to pretend I do. You don't. You know people. I just want to pretend. You don't need to know people. You just need to have a rag and some water. I asked my wife to do it. I was thinking about making a video. It was a more popular topic back in 2012 or something. Sure, yeah. And she said that she wouldn't waterboard me.

I've somehow lost some enthusiasm for it since then. I'll bet. Yeah, it looks awful, and it is awful. You don't want to do it. You don't want to do it you don't want to do it it's not fun i mean you you i'm sure you have um you're better with like the fear of like getting water in your lungs or in your throat and that sort of thing you'd stay calm for a while but then it just starts like after a while you just can't get enough air you know see that's sort of panic inducing when i talk about holding my breath now you had a really good counter argument to it but partly in my head i was like you know people are failing this in three seconds in 12 seconds well if i can go 40 then i'm like

record breaking based on the stuff i see online yeah i, I certainly did more than three seconds. I don't remember exactly how long it was. It wasn't more than a couple minutes, but it was more than 30 seconds of them pouring and stuff. It was awful. It was awful, but it wasn't like I wouldn't allow, I would have lasted much, and I had a choice, obviously. I think that's probably part of why I made it a little bit longer

is that I know in the back of my mind, I can stop it when I want to stop it. And I think knowing that you cannot stop it would be much more frightening. Not trusting the water border is half the horror. Yeah. Maybe most of it. Well, I mean, they can just let you drown and then give you CPR and bring you back. You know, I don't think i think inhaling it i'm pretty sure that you can fill someone's lungs up with water until they pass out and then give them the heimlich and they're right

back to consciousness essentially right as long as you do it right then i mean i understand i imagine you're rolling the dice on a situation like that i want to say the khalid sheikh muhammad the guy who we we probably saw on the internet with the bedraggled beer and the whitey tighties, they waterboarded him some ungodly amount of times, like 50, 60 times or something like that. I don't think we've done the other ad yet. Am I crazy? We have not, but we'll do it now.

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you know, that, that wants to get with you. Maybe, maybe not, probably not, but you know, there's only one girl there and she's got her pick of 60 people.

But yeah. And you're the one whose breath doesn't smell like shit. Exactly. You're the only one she can talk to close up. She's like, Oh, this guy, he takes care of himself.

I bet, I bet he uses smart mouth and quip. And he runs that blue deck like a fucking operator. So he's so good at magic that i'm i'm just wet wet over here how good he is at mad it's like a slip and slide over here his breath smells so good yeah you got uh well i won't mention any of the clothes sponsors we have since they're not on tonight but you're gonna to be looking fly too I have Patreon questions some of these are good I don't know if they're good just because they mentioned me super quick one how do we name Hope Hope

there's no good story to that we bought a book of baby names it appealed to me it appealed to Jackie and we locked in fast on it was there like a debate of like which virtue where you're like well Hope's good but faith is he may even be better we kind of didn't like a lot of the like virtue ones are kind of christian

and we didn't want to like i guess saddle her with that we didn't want everyone who met her to be like oh yeah her name is faith like i already know something about her hi i'm noelle yeah my name's friendship goodness uh one cool offset or cool thing about hope that i didn't expect is there are a million like decorations that say hope and i guess that's true with faith too but uh it's not true with like taylor you know like there are just a million like wood carving and stuff. Hope is always a thing. Rocks that say hope. Most of the Taylor things are girls things anyway. I didn't even think of that.

Kyle things, like the joke is always monster energy. Like the name Kyle. Oh, yeah. White kid kind of thing. How you baptize kids named Kyle. Another quick one. Oh, by the way, these are Patreon questions. I think it's $10 a month and you get to have your questions answered on the show.

Not a guarantee, but we look through them. Can you talk about the specifics of homeschooling Colin? What are subjects you're teaching him? What skills did you have to learn? How do you structure lessons, et cetera? So Jackie pulls the train on the homeschooling thing. She spends way more time on it than I do. And I do the math.

So like my standard line is like, all right, set me up for success, which means tell me what he needs to know. And then I have like certain like demands. She does everything, my God. And these demands will be like, I need two pencils, unlimited amount of scrap paper. And just like, these are the things,

when I sit down at the table, I want it set up in a certain way. I need the multiple, we have multiplication tables on quality wood and stuff. I'm like, that needs to be present. We'll be referring to that a lot. And then I just go and i i start teaching you know right now we're doing multiplication but it'll be like you know

three digits times three digits and like just sort of working through the algorithm and uh fractions and stuff like that jackie's actually not that good with math so math is the only subject that i teach it's not that she can't do it but she doesn't do it so effortlessly that like she's whatever dividing one fraction by another fraction and not thinking. Do you like doing the math teaching? Does it kind of bring you back a little bit to do it anymore? I don't know. I really like Colin.

Colin's a blast. But a lot of teaching is actually working around his attention span like pushing as hard as you can without pushing too hard uh you know he'll start yawning or like he sometimes it seems like he's not paying attention but he still gets it sometimes he seems like he's not paying attention and he's not decoding which one of those it is so most of my teaching with colin isn't about just laying out this or that. It's about making sure you still have him and keeping him. Yeah.

Like not burning them out and not burning them out. Getting him bored 30 minutes in or how long are our homeschooling lessons? I was never homeschooled. I don't know. So I just do one of the subjects, right? I only do math mostly. I,

I do other stuff now and then, but mostly on the math guy. And, uh, we, I mean, 20 to 40, 40 minutes would be long and 20 would be typical sometimes it's just the wrong day he might come in with a headache or

if it's raining out or something they'll be like you know what at 10 i've already decided this is not a good day and uh and we'll cut it homeschool does not take as long when you're one on like if you're in regular school how long do you go to school seven hours something like that from like like 7 30 to 3 or so okay that sounds longish to me but uh i think i went 8 to 2 205 something like that in high school anyway but uh homeschool does not last that long. Maybe three hours would be a long day. I was always so jealous of when homeschool kids would join your school and you'd hear about homeschooling. Well, there were different kinds of homeschooling kids.

There were some that were hyper-religious and weird as fuck. One of them had, I remember she came to our school and she had the longest hair in the world, like Laura Ingalls Wilder, like length hair, like past her ass. And she sat in front of me of like in randomly like two or three different classes. And her dry ass Amish hair was all over my desk all the time. I had to push it off with my pencils and whatnot. And she was just, I wanted to do that. I wanted to do that.

I think I mentioned it on the show before this girl that would always be negative in our, our chemistry class and annoying would like sleep on our like shared science desk. We were like partners and I would get irritated by that because she would sleep and her hair would be on my side of the desk. And so, uh,

I took like a red Sharpie and drew a bunch of her blonde hair, red, like a stripe of it, red one day. And I can't believe I didn't get in trouble but the teacher saw me doing it and the teacher disliked this girl enough that he like just pretended not to well yeah the homeschool thing the jealous part was the hearing when it's like oh yeah sometimes we just like start at 11 a.m and by 12 30 we were done and i was like god that's what school could be like if at any given point the the weakest

chain were the limiting factor in the class you know because that's kind of how it is a lot of the time where it's like all right you know anybody have any questions on this uh math concept and i'm retarded when it comes to math and so i'd probably be the one raising my hand trying to get more clarification while the other 19 20 25 people in the class are like taylor you fucking retard just figure it out like we're not moving forward here so yeah i sometimes wonder like so jackie does science jackie does a lot of reading that's the other like part of it and she's that involves reading to him having him to read to her um colin's not uh he's not an exceptional student right i'm to put it mildly. So a lot of it is like

making sure he still feels good about himself, enjoys the homeschooling session, stuff like that. You don't just, if he's messing up, you don't just beat his head against the fact that he's messing up forever because then he won't be wanting to do this anymore.

So with Colin, a big focus on homeschooling is just making sure that he still wants to homeschool and that he's doing okay. Maybe we're too gentle, but yeah, that's what we're working with. You never did homeschooling, did you, Kyle? Or you did for a little bit?

Yeah, two years. How does that compare to what I just laid out? Pretty similar Maybe two hours a day or something like that Mostly focused on math Almost exclusively math Because it seemed like that's the thing That if you fall behind

It's difficult to catch back up When you get back to school You walk into American history And you already know 70% of what they're teaching I watched the history channel. I was good. You know, I had that down. And so mostly math, you know, a couple hours of math a day.

We used a, like a template, I guess, or like a lesson plan. And at the time, like, it's not that we were religious. It was that a lot of the homeschooling templates were religious based. So like part of the lesson plan would be like Bible verses. And I'd be like, you don't really want me to memorize and recite these Bible verses, do you? And she's like,

well, do one. Christ can make 500 loaves and 300 fish per hour. It has five hours to prepare a meal for his disciples. Yeah. I was like, I remember I memorized the whole the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

He leadeth me by the still waters, etc., etc., etc. thing. And then I was like, I'm not done anymore, let's get back to algebra. I'm fucking done. Yeah, nowadays it's internet-based. I don't know, were you sort of pre-internet and homeschooled?

Maybe early internet? Early internet, but internet based i don't know were you sort of pre-internet and homeschooled uh maybe early internet we early internet uh early internet but but everything was not there was nothing internet based that i recall it seemed if i remember correctly everything was like hard copies and folders and stuff the basic thing now is you there'll be like a free sample sometimes it's a trial period sometimes it's a limited part of the course you try it if it's a good fit you buy it it's kind of expensive you know we'll pay like 1500 a year for some of these things it was it was cheap yeah and uh and what happens a lot is like the section you're exposed to hooks you in because it's freaking awesome and then as you get to the rest of the program it falls short of the sample. But that's how we choose them.

We try things and see what works, how he responds to it. Colin, he has, so there's expressive, his receptive speech and his expressive speech is not very good. So if something teaches visually, like if you can teach math and it's all based on like boxes and fractions and pies sliced into pieces he'll do better with that than something that just reads a paragraph so that's how we choose things things that fit colin here's one i remember when i went back to school yeah i had to take like a placement test and and i placed fine like i wasn't behind in anything but i remember that the interesting

thing was uh we were given by the school this uh the sort of practice test for the math and i didn't really practice at it very much like like i remember i had i took it once i took the practice test once and i was like ah all right i passed i guess this is this is okay i got there it was literally the exact same test like if i'd wanted to i could have memorized the test and aced this this like four page like 300 question or whatever the fuck it was like math test and god knows where they'd have placed me then so i'm glad well honestly you've already aged out of here there's no point in you coming that's not not what would have happened. They'd have put me in some sort of advanced calculus or something or advanced trig in the ninth grade. And it would have gone very poorly.

That's what would have happened. They'd have put me in some sort of fucking mathematical honors course or something that I had no business being in. Here's one I want you guys to answer. So what is your guys' opinion on DACA, Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals, a political topic. I'm a 22-year-old male DACA recipient from Arizona. I was born in Mexico and brought over to the United States as a two-month-old. I have lived here ever since, and I'm practically American. Through DACA, I'm able to get a driver's license, work legally, and go to school.

Because I benefit so much from this program, it's hard for me to see who can possibly be impacted in a negative way from it. Many Republicans are against it, and I would love to hear why. Maybe you guys could discuss. I just want to throw one more thing out there. To be a DACA recipient, you have to graduate or be in school, I think,

and you can't have a criminal record. So sometimes they paint DACA recipients as like MS-1313 gang member dropouts and that's not who they are they're kind of ready to be regular contributing members of society who finished school high school yeah i i um i'm all for the daca thing i think that it was a real half measure though like not that it not that the daca um didn't go far enough, but that should have been part A and there definitely needed to be a part B where there was actual immigration reform. Because now

what do you do? There are new people that should be DACA recipients, right? Is it a progressive thing that now if a two-month-year-old kid comes into the country, he gets deferred action? No. So they just kind of picked a group from three years ago that get this thing, but they didn't solve the problem that's creating more

people in that issue. So Obama really should have had a part B to this DACA thing. Now, of course, yeah, it seems like these people are functioning members of our society. Many of them don't speak the languages of their former lands right they don't speak spanish these guys are like um excuse me my name is trent uh you cannot send me back please don't send me back to tijuana mr trump um i i no longer identify as honduran thank you i don't know anything about harvesting rubber. I skateboard. My name's Bryce. Bryce.

And I want to go to UCLA in the summer. So please know. Please know. That's how you know true American assimilation has happened. Honduran parents coming over and naming their kid Bryce. Yeah, that happens. Well, they'd be citizens, so they need to name him Bryce back in Honduras.

This is my son. His name is... I love America. And this is my daughter. Please let me stay. I think... I have this suspicion that Republicans I think Republicans don't hate DACA I think there's some Republicans who are just racist

And don't want Mexicans here Alright that's going to be a thing I think that the Republicans are I guess they know the Democrats Want DACA more and they're just using it for leverage. You can have DACA if I get a wall. You can have DACA if I get other immigration rules that maybe stop future DACA people or create future DACA people. Just have a rule, right? Let's not start with illegal border crossings and then turn it into illegal immigration.

It's being used as a baton like strike the other party over and over and over hey i'll give you daca if you do this i'll i'll lessen daca if you do this or whatever the yeah yeah so well there are some people who genuinely dislike daca recipients i think because they just dislike people with darker skin uh like trump specifically i think he just wants to get other stuff in exchange for doc and he's you know using it as a club it's a negotiation yeah i think he's using it as a negotiation too but to answer his question like yeah you've lived here your whole life there's there's no reason you should have to get shipped back to you know whatever country your parents were born in just like i don't know That just doesn't seem fair at all. Yeah, I agree.

A two-month-old who's lived here forever. And a lot of the dreamers as they call them. What a silly name. Oh, it's great marketing. It is good marketing. It's great marketing, yeah. We're the dreamers.

Okay. All right. Calm down. Okay. Okay. I guess. Calm down. Okay. Okay. I guess it's not working on you, but I feel like it works in general. Are you a dreamer who was farming in Honduras and wanted to come here, or did you live your whole life here and now you're American? Make a decision. Yeah.

Well, wake up, motherfucker. You're going back home. I don't like the dreamer tagline. I don't like it. I don't like any time they name something inspirational, like some bill or something. This is the freedom for children's lives and love, Bill. This is the Clean Air Act. It lowers the price of soybeans.

This is the Clean Air Act. We've removed environmental regulations. All right, this is to get rid of all environmental regulations, and it's also the I have a huge cock act. It's like, well, I gotta vote yes. They'd be like, stupid cock. Rubio votes no on big cock bill.

Questions? Questions? Oh, you know, of course I'm gonna vote for the big cock bill. I did it, actually. Listen to that stupid whore. Oh, the worst one of those names is anytime they have the blah, blah, blah against child pornography act or whatever. When it's like, oh, okay, you just picked literally the worst things they have on the Internet because you want to regulate online speech. And you're trying to scare people.

the internet because you want to regulate online speech and you're trying to scare people and like it's shocking how much these old politicians how little they know about technology what was that one of those old fogies was like talking to a google uh google guy yeah and held up like a an apple phone and the guy's like, you know, that's an Apple phone. Does Google know if I walk across the room? Will they know? Will Google know? He's like, well, sir, I don't know if you've enabled that part of your phone. So you can't tell me. Well, I don't know what's on your phone.

So you have no answers for me. Is that what you're saying? If I walk across the room and sit with my democratic colleagues which would you make them nervous what do you say that yeah yeah he said it three or four times he was there was one guy i think his name might have been steven king it's running google but he wasn't steven king the author he's steven king the politician and uh he got a lot of negative attention for saying some racist shit. And he's like, my daughter looked on Apple News on her iPhone, and it said horrible things about me.

And everyone's like, the guy's like, Apple's a different company. Like, that's not us. And he said, why is it that when I Google idiot, I get a picture of our president? And he's just like, well, I don't have anything to do with that. He's like, you know, words get associated with people. Have you been on Reddit? Yeah. And then David Liu, he's this, I don't know if he's a senator or House of Rep, but he's from Hawaii.

And he just blasted them. Effect this, I don't know if he's a senator or House of Rep, but he's from Hawaii. And he just blasted them. Effectively, I thought. He's like, if you want to do, if you want positive news about you, do positive things. And he's like, I Googled Stephen King, Senator, and it says here that you didn't want no jigaboos in your, I'm misquoting him. But it was a bunch of racist shit. And he's like, if you do that, then you'll get negative Google results. And then he Googled, I think, somebody else

and they did positive things. See, if you use words like that, you betray that you've been racist for a long time. Because no one who jumps into racism in 2018 is going with those old hat epithets. No more mood crickets! Yeah.

Just something that like, nobody said that. Like when enough time has passed that it's no longer like an epithet or a slur because it's just fallen out of vogue. We're going to get these pickaninnies out of here. All these Toms, all these moon crickets running around doing crime.

Those are good examples. Yeah, those are ones that like... I don't even know those. Yeah, I do. I would say like... No. That's all I can think of. Yeah, I can think of some more.

I can think of some more some we can all think of some more i don't want to be back on the apple news looking poorly in front of my granddaughter but uh the core takeaway is they thought that google was manipulating their search results to hurt republicans and to help democrats you know i it doesn't take a lot of manipulation to make some of the republicans look like uh fear-mongering racists sometimes so uh just a little accurate reporting will do that occasionally uh if uh yeah if you fact check then you're automatically anti trump because oh how dare you uh well i feel like you're... Not you, but like... Dude, can we all just admit the guy tells a lot of things that don't pass up to fact-checking?

On average, 10 a day. You know, I defy you to name 10 lies today. 10 lies today. They did an average. They did an average of how many... They added up the number of lies or mistruths or exaggerations, and they divided it by how long he's been in office. It was

10 a day on average. Yeah. He lies about the dumbest shit. He recently told the military when he was over there that they were getting a 10% pay raise. They're not! He said there was going to be a middle class... That's fucking hilarious. Y'all get a 10% pay raise. You're not no he said there was gonna be a middle class that's fucking hilarious y'all

get a 10 pay rate you're not oh they get like a 2.5 or a 2.8 percent raise every year i think i think they're not getting 10 though no there was a during the uh midterm elections right it's something like october 26th you know and's like, there's going to be a middle class pay cut before the end of the month. And everyone's like, what? Like Congress isn't even in session right now. There's no bill. You're going to be called on this lie in five days. So five days later, the news is like, hey, do you remember five days ago when Trump would say there'd be a middle class takeout? By the end of last month, it's November 1st.

It didn't happen, but it doesn't matter. That's not fair. I heard that one live. And what he kept saying, they kept trying to like twist his words. But what he kept saying is, no, no, no. We're introducing a bill, a motion. I don't know the terminology. And he didn't either

so what he was saying is like we're putting forward something that will make we're writing on paper but he had so much word salad that like it was hard to follow him and i felt like they were being willfully ignorant because he wasn't good at expressing his thought it what it looked like what happened is someone had said yes mr, Mr. President, we're going to put forward a motion on the 14th, et cetera. So what he said, you're pretty much right. I just found it. He's putting a resolution sometime in the next week, week and a half, two weeks. That's what he said.

I don't know where I got the end of October because I guess it was October 22nd. It happened in October. I remember it very well. It was October 22nd. and he said next week, week and a half, two weeks. That is kind of word salad-y. And they're putting a resolution. But Congress wasn't in session, and it was completely made up, and it was a lie. And it was so short

term that, you know, a week and a half later, they called him on it. I don't think a lot of politicians and public figures, like, have that many qualms with lying. Trump obviously doesn't. And i think the way our modern news cycle works is partly responsible for that it's like people know they can lie say something ridiculous and literally sometimes 26 hours later it's like two new things have sprung

up and that seems like ancient history i feel like like that's the thing that Trump has figured out that other politicians haven't. They never did before, right? People would tell lies. People would stretch the truth. And that's a thing. But Trump has gone next level on the lying. And he makes up easily disprovable silliness things, but nothing matters. Like crowd-sized things? easily disprovable silliness things but nothing matters like like crowd size things like just just the dumbest stuff he will will lie about i just yeah i flip-flopped on that why when he

mentioned the crowd size thing i guess a big part of me was like dude who cares it's crowd size like i don't give a hoot um but people who did care were like man he's really starting off the temper this relationship with the press and the people by lying and that's what they cared about now two years later I'm like oh I see what you were getting at yeah he just says ridiculous stuff all the

time it's lies it's I don't know yeah but nothing matters. Everything everybody's mad about today won't be a thing in a week. Yes. Oh, can you believe he signed MAGA hats? Apparently that's some sort of law.

I'm like, oh, my God. Would you keep your outrage to things that matter? Fuck you and your MAGA hats he signed for the troops. Did you see that? No, I didn't. It's a new story today. I guess something about signing MAGA hats for the troops is bad. But I put myself in the president's shoes.

They're getting mad at him for signing stuff? There's a law against it. Oh, that's so dumb. Yes, I agree. I don't know what exactly it is. Maybe it's... I don't know. I don't know.

But it's not something I care about. Yeah, they can sign titties for all I care. Yeah, I bet he's the only president who's signed titties. Bill Clinton has signed so many titties. All right. Counterpoint. All right, well, those two are the only ones who have signed titties. Kennedy.

Kennedy, yeah. I was going there, too. Oh, yeah, we never signed my name on those breasts. the only ones who have signed titties. Kennedy. Yeah, I was going there, too. Oh, yeah, we never saw my name on those breasts. You know who didn't sign titties? Lincoln. I was going to say Hillary. You know Hillary probably has. But Lincoln, it's theorized by people guessing on the Internet that he was gay. I think he wasn't gay.

It's just that sharing a bed with a dude was more common back then. I didn't even know that story. I was just, I took a sentence I'd read years ago, threw it out there as if it was fact. I think FDR, FDR might've been gay. His wife definitely was gay.

Yeah. He was a bottom. Yeah. His wife was a top though. I don't think you understand how this works. His wife was definitely, uh don't think you understand how this works his wife was definitely gay I mean if you wanted if Lincoln wanted to fuck you he would have fucked you

he was like 6'6 and gangly and quite the wrestler they don't tell you about how all of those wrestling matches ended with his dick in some guy's ass who's next All of those wrestling matches ended. With his taking some guy's ass. Who's next? Everybody agree I'm the best, right?

Yes, sir. You're the president. Ten minutes from now, I'm going to come in this ass. Just pumping. Stinky, hairy, presidential nuts swinging in the Illinois sun. You're about to get your 17th century cock, boy. How does the... Well, not 17th century. Not 17th century, no.

Long, long ago. In the before time. Yeah. What's the furthest you've gone out of your way to spite someone? What's the payest thing you've done? Oh, Kyle, please. Yeah, you got a thing? yes a thousand yeah he's just he's hunting for one he can share

despite someone i'll need a while to think i i i despite someone i i don't i'm trying to think i don't think i've ever done that much out of my way just but usually like if I really am mad at someone and I want to do something you know despite them just thinking about it and like mulling over what I would do is enough of like an internal reward that I'm like okay that would be great I don't need to okay I don't need to do that you know what I mean like the same way if you like i think it's i was reading something where it was like people on their diets people who announce their plans to lose weight and their their plans to diet do worse on average than people who just do it because you

get praise right away when you tell people you're gonna diet whereas you don't get any praise when you're doing it if you don't mention it until results are there and so i think it's almost like a similar similar kind of thing with the spite i go the other way just the fantasy is enough i feel like the public pressure to follow through on something i am my master's degree comes to mind like i told people i was going to school and that was a big motivator for me not to fail very publicly okay i guess that makes sense both ways yeah some things are like that. I'm sorry. We're on the spite thing. We will circle back around. I took this psychology course and the guy was talking about

how it's important to actually test your theories. They're very obvious things. It burned into my head. One was absence makes the heart grow fonder. We all know that's true, right? You leave and then you start thinking about that one and all their flaws go away. The other side of that is out of sight

out of mind and it's like, huh that's why it's important to test this shit because your guesses might not be right. Just because it sounds good. Is it opposites attract or is it birds of a feather flock together? It's a perfect one. Which one? I think on that same

vein I've heard that opposites attract is not the one that's more I think on that same vein, I've heard that Opposites Attract is not the one that's more realistic. It's like the more birds of a feather one. That's where I would guess. Yeah. Seems like Opposites Attract would be good for sitcom

premises, but... Yeah. Kyle, any spite thoughts? I can't think of any now. Me neither. I know we've't think of any, no. Me neither. I know we've done spiteful things, though. I genuinely don't think... I'll come up with something,

but I don't think I've done anything that's... Like, if I was going out of the way, it'd be more like giving myself a chore. I get over the top with it and don't execute. Like, oh, that guy needs to be murdered. But I've never murdered anyone. Yet. No. Yeah. do you ever think that like weird little things where like you'll get home from from mcdonald's and they didn't put ketchup in your bag and it's like my god if i i wish i could just punch you right in the fucking face because that's appropriate for ketchup no i know

but like you never want you wouldn't actually do it and you're not even that angry it's just like you'll think like the extreme thought and thinking super extreme actually makes you less mad like because you kind of take it to a silly place do you ever think like that i take fast food condiments very seriously they leave the worst is leaving utensils out that are required like if i order Chinese food with soup and they don't give me a spoon and I'm not at home, like what the fuck? Now I'm sipping fucking a bowl of soup. I guess that's not so bad. Which is all great until you get to the wontons.

I guess that's not so bad. Even in your frustrating story, you're like, and then you're sipping. Well, I kind of like it like that sometimes. I feel warm and comfortable. Nice in the hand. No waste. Jackie likes ketchup on her hamburgers.

And too much ketchup on her hamburgers. She's a big ketchup hamburger person. I don't know. It's weird to me. It's spilly or whatever. This happened 20 years ago because she was pregnant with Hope and I didn't have any ketchup and pregnant

irrational Jackie threw the burger. I was going to say she threw it at me. I don't have any ketchup and pregnant irrational Jackie threw the burger I was gonna say she threw it at me I don't know she hit me threw it in my direction for sure and uh I still cling to that one 20 years later like you know you're insane yeah but really dry burger and fuck off but pregnant women are sometimes insane it's something you tolerate what was uh if it's not i wouldn't think it's gonna be a personal thing what was jackie's weird pregnancy food addiction because i always hear that like pregnant women get hooked on things in phases like my mom loved kfc like while she was pregnant she didn't have that. So Jackie, morning sickness was a huge thing for her. That was morning, noon, and night, nonstop, middle of the night, even while sleeping.

And it wasn't a trimester either. It was like four and a half months or something like that. And I think she survived on like buttered pasta and saltines or something like that at first. Just the blandest things that don't make you sick kind of diet. The all-carb diet. Yeah, right? She did kind of swell up when I think about it. Yeah, she gained a bunch of weight.

Well, other than your baby having type 2 adult-onset diabetes, he's coming along very well. Yeah, I have that same sort of eating style where I get into phases of eating things i've been eating these chipotle burritos lately they're delicious you really have and you've been you order two at a time i do order two at a time yes i do i i save one for later though i mean after this you'll you'll follow the cycle back into five guys i had five guys today. And then starvation. Which is the next part of this. Starvation.

Actually, you're quite a ways away from starving mode. You're in a pretty thin place right now, right? Yep. Good nine months from there. I'm looking forward to... I don't know what I'm going to eat tonight. I don't know if there's any options. It doesn't seem like there's any postmates around

to deliver me anything. I don't know what I'm going to do. I got a couple of old paydays. there's any options it doesn't seem like there's any post mates around to deliver me anything so i i don't know what i'm gonna do i got a couple of old paydays oh gonna eat these you don't like paydays i mean they're good but they're they're below me i don't eat that kind of garbage i choose my garbage to be bowls full of pistachios for some reason okay well i'll chase it with a bowl of pistachios now we're talking i don't want to eat a payday for dinner i was really hoping for i don't know oh well i'll make i'll have something real for dinner oh i should have eaten more before yeah i haven't eaten uh since that lunch of five guys and i just got a regular

burger i get a crazy big double burger it's so fucking good you know how people always are like uh joke about how kwanzaa is not a real holiday yeah like i had never spent even a second looking into it and it turns out the dude who i guess invented for lack of a better word kwanzaa, one of the founders of it. Invented's a solid word, baby. Invented. That's a point. Someone invented Christmas, I guess.

Made up. So this guy, Milana Karenga, he said in 1971 he was sentenced to one to ten years in prison on counts of felonious assault and imprisonment. One of the victims gave testimony of how Karenga and other men tortured her and another woman. Let me skip. Deborah Jones, who was once given the Swahili title of an African queen, said she and Gail Davis were whipped with an electrical cord and beaten with a karate baton after being ordered to remove their clothes. She testified that a hot soldering iron was placed in Ms. Davis' mouth

and placed against Ms. Davis' face, and that one of her own big toes was tightened in a vice. Karenga, head of U.S., also put detergent and running hoses in their mouths, she said. They were also hit on the head with toasters. And that's the meaning of Kwanzaa. Beating women with electrical cords and wearing colorful dashikis.

I love that last torture method. And then, it sounds almost like they're making it up. And what else did he do to you? Did he hit me in the head? Yes, yes. What did he hit you in the head with?

A toaster. Why did you have a toaster if you have no outlet yeah well i think this happened in america so oh toaster's a little more believable you know because kwanzaa was invented in america right okay i think so i'm not even gonna scroll up yeah i don't. But I thought that was interesting. Like, imagine if it was like, so the story of old Saint Nick, you know, we all know him as the guy who gives you toys once a year, but did you know

that those elves were actually little people that he captured all over Eastern Europe and then raped in a dungeon? It was a true story. The early 1500s. They called him Santa, uh, Santa the, Santa Santa Slayer or some shit. I don't know. Santa the Rapist.

Santa the Impaler. Some old-timey thing. That would ruin the spirit of Christmas if you knew he was a rapist, right? Just like the Cosby Show is ruined. Yeah, the Cosby Show is ruined. I can't watch one of those yellow ads. For people who follow Kwanzaa, Just retroactively make up that someone else invented it Lots of religions and practices do that

Ice Cube Yeah say Ice Cube did it I know we're on Kwanzaa But Taylor got me very excited To talk about the Kevin Spacey tape And as I watched it I thought of Kyle Because one of his core

If people don't know Kevin Spacey made a video. It's about a minute long. I haven't been able to find an unadulterated version of it. It's always like CBS talking about it. It's some horror shit. I intentionally haven't watched so we could do it on the show. Okay. Let me lay it out and can you guys hunt for it?

I don't know why you laid it out. I'm just going to watch it. Out of the blue, seemingly, Kevin Spacey did a video And can you guys hunt for it? Oh, I don't know why. Yeah, you lay it out. I'm just going to watch it. Out of the blue, seemingly, Kevin Spacey did a video, and he does it as Frank, last name help me. Underwood. Underwood, yeah, yeah. So he does it as Frank Underwood, in the accent, in the thing.

Is this? Yeah, this is his YouTube channel. I didn't realize it was called Let Me Be Frank, which is actually kind of interesting. And I'm queued up at zero. Let me just sort of... This is good. Let me make the framing a little better. Eight million views.

Are you guys ready? I wonder what the ratings are like. I didn't realize it was three minutes long. I'm not sure I've seen all of it. 180 up, 54 down. Ah, so definitely censored. Here it is for people. No!

All right. Are you ready? Yeah. Ready, so definitely censored. Here it is for people. No! All right. Are you ready? Yeah. Ready, set, play. Let me be Frank, as in Frank Underwood, the character. Double thing there. I know what you want. Oh, sure, they may have tried to separate us,

but what we have is too strong, it's too powerful. I mean, after all, we shared everything, you and I. I told you my deepest, darkest secrets. I showed you exactly what people are capable of. I shocked you with my honesty, but mostly I challenged you and made you think. And you trusted me, even though you knew you shouldn't. So we're not done, no matter what anyone says.

And besides, I know what you want. You want me back. Of course, some believed everything and have just been waiting with bated breath to hear me confess it all. They're just dying to have me declare that everything said is true and that I got what I deserved. Got. Wouldn't that be easy if it was all so simple? Only you and I both know it's never that simple, not in

politics and not in life. This is in such poor taste. But you wouldn't believe the worst without evidence, would you? You wouldn't rush to judgments without facts, would you? That's in such poor taste. Harumph! Did you? Ha ha! ending and to think it could have been such a memorable send-off. I mean if you and I have learned nothing else these past years it's that in life and art nothing should be off the table. We weren't afraid, not of what we said, not of what we did and we're still not afraid. Because I can promise you this, if I didn't pay the price for the things we both know I did do, I'm certainly not

gonna pay the price for the things I didn't do. Of course, they're going to say I'm being disrespectful, not playing by the rules like I ever played by anyone's rules before. I never did, and you loved it. Anyhow, despite all the poppycock, the animosity, the headlines, the impeachment without a trial, despite everything, despite even my own death, I feel surprisingly good and my confidence grows each day that soon enough you will know the full truth. Full truth. Wait a minute.

Now that I think of it, you never actually saw me die, did you? Oh. Conclusions can be so deceiving. Miss me? Oh, it's so good! So good, tasty! Tasty? It is not tasteful. Oh, I loved it!

That is fucking hilarious. It's like, now the Republicans think they have me cornered now that they discovered that i was fondling boys for decades before my political career i did not apologize for it then and i would do it again now and god rest my soul i would grab a young boys behind in front of you today and and tear those little uh pants off and I'm, oh, pardon me. I'm starting to get hot. There's a part where he says, you want me back?

And I'm like, yeah, Kyle does. I know Kyle wants him back. Kyle is forgiving you for all that rapey stuff. Do what you gotta do. Do what you gotta do. I don't care if you ate those little boys. Get back on the screen. Dude, that is the most tone-deaf

way to respond to this. Where it's like, what was he thinking? The same day new video evidence came out and they filed charges against him. They filed criminal rape charges against him that day. That day.

Confusions can be confusing. Get out of my home. You're putting me under arrest? They think they have me. Bang! I can't wait until that's what his child's like. He does the insanity defense. Mr. Spacey, please rise. Mr. Underwood, please rise. Mr. Underwood, please rise You address me as President Underwood As I have earned that right If I were a rapist, would I not admit it

So I could go to the place where there is the most rape So I could participate in the rape I loved it, I love that video. That video is hilarious because he's playing both sides, right? Like he's like Mac. He's he, at one point he's talking about how he's speaking as Frank Underwood. And then he speaks as Kevin Spacey.

And then he's Frank Underwood again. He's talking about both issues, both the, the, the rape allegations or sexual harassment. He's saying stuff that fits the show and his life. And his life. It's great. It's great. He's like, you probably believed it all,

didn't you? No. You're smarter than that. And I'm like, am I? I guess. Pretty sure you did most of that shit. Pretty fucking sure. I mean, I don't care. Pretty sure you did it, though. I'm on board.

I'd love to have him back. It's a shame they filed those charges that day because I felt like this was a good... I mean, look at the likes, right? It's almost... I'm doing the math in my head, but it's like 70% positive, something like that, right?

That's not good for YouTube. It's good when you're accused of so much rape woody yeah i've done worse for being accused of less yeah if you can maintain 65 75 positive thumbs up as kevin spacey in in this climate you're doing pretty fucking well i mean it might that might as well be a 99 cod video like like like that that's pretty strong how great would that be if this actually was a ruse a plot device for house of cards oh it's that would be great but it's not that i'll tell you what i watched that season we've talked about it before very under i couldn't finish it yeah i didn't even watch the most recent one oh my my god. It was real bad.

It was real bad. That show, it wasn't like that show was great and then he left and it was like suddenly shit. It had been going downhill. I don't agree with that as much as first of all, first season's insane. It's some of the best TV ever. Start of the second.

Yeah. Certainly. Certainly. Maybe the later season or two wasn't as good but it's hard to top those early seasons it was still some of the best television out there you know it was still better than most stuff out there it just wasn't living up to the first season and it's you know how are you gonna do it you know the shock of him murdering someone as the president of the united states he opened by murdering a dog ah that that dog needed a good suffocating it was shocking it was a mercy kill

but it was a hey this is who frank underwood is he does what needs to get done wowsers two kinds of pain. All right, all right. Tell me more. By the way, shouldn't you be getting that dog some help? Pain you learn from and worthless, useless pain. It's just suffering. Wait, what are you doing to that puppy?

It would have been funner if he's like this dog is injured beyond belief look at him trying to stand up and run away from me but i i won't let him die in the streets i will murder him here i wish he had a harder time killing it i wish there'd been a little yes like chase it down and kick it and he's like sometimes a dog will get get back, you son of a bitch. Damn, that dog is spry. For a dog that's about to die. He's finishing it with a club at the end. Agent Johnson, pursue and murder that dog. This is an order of real vice.

Oh, God, not again, Mr. Speaker. Please, no. And then bring another supple boy to my chamber. Ah, man, I love that video that i it's shocking that he did that right like you'd never expect that like not all he's wearing that christmas apron he's preparing a christmas dinner he's in character he's he's in he's in character as children tied up just off screen he had the auditioning for the character to get back

he totally is did you see him put on the ring at the end yeah yeah oh my god he's a he's got to know that ship has sailed what is that ring does it what it's his class ring right that's the one that like bangs on the counter on like desks and those are the things i remember do we know where he went oh fuck no i don't recall the school. It was a military school. Right? Yeah, I was going to say it was West Point. They're known for Ringknocker is a thing. I'll Google it.

In Gaffney. Yes, I attended camp. Rape a boy. A fictionalized version of the Citadel. Okay. The Sentinel. Ah, got version of the Citadel. Okay. The Sentinel. Ah, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Very cool, very cool. That's a really good video.

Very funny. Just bizarre. You know, something you never thought you'd see. That's the world we live in now, and I love it. I love it. I enjoyed that video. I've seen it four or five times now. That's the first time I found an unadulterated version of it.

Yeah, it's right on his YouTube channel. He just uploaded that shit straight up to his own channel. So what's the actual case being brought against him? Which individual story is it? It's some TV executive or producer or something. His son was supposedly

sexually assaulted in a bar two or three years ago yeah oh so this is recent because a lot of these were a long long time ago right yeah just a couple years ago i want to say 2016 yeah man that's that's it's pretty nuts uh the whole thing well i'm looking at it yeah it i wish i need i need better phrasing but it doesn't it's indecent assault and battery and if he's guilty he could get five years in prison i thought i heard it was literally rape yeah i heard that as well. Oh, he's charged with sexually assaulting Unra's son. But the charge

is indecent assault and battery and if convicted, he could face upwards of five years in prison and have to register. I don't know what upwards of five years of prison is very open-ended to me. It goes from five to infinity. But, yeah.

I support Kevin Spacey. I want him back in the look look i mean keep the boys away from him obviously but get him back in the get him back in front of the camera all right look anybody who shits you can put a house of cards on porn hub if you want keep the kids away i just want to see the next season yeah definitely keep the kids away all right like definitely but i mean go watch the go go watch the usual suspects tonight. Go watch K-Pax. Go watch American Beauty. Like, that's one of the greatest actors in the world right there.

Okay? And he just made a few dozen mistakes. Yeah. I mean, who amongst us hasn't raped a couple of boys? They're so supple. Tender. Compared to men. Back me up, Kyle.

Compared to men. Nope, that is an island of raft. I will not be boarding. I will not be jumping up on that one. Nope, nope, nope. Yeah, this is hilarious. I can't believe that he fucking made that video. It's so tone deaf. I love him. I can't believe that he fucking made that video. It's so tone deaf.

I love him. I love him. He's a great actor. Whether he did those horrific things or if he didn't do those things as much as we think, then still a good actor. I'm pretty sure he did most of that shit.

I'm leaning that way. I'm no expert, but he's a bit of a... I don't know. When 19 people separately charge you with something, you probably did it, right? Yeah, I would think so. Because that's the number Trump charges. And I tricked you into it.

You didn't trick me. They're not charging him the same thing. A lot of those bitches are just money-hungry whores. Yes. In Trump's case, it's all made up. How many times has Bill Clinton been charged? Let's look that number up, right? I mean, way more reliably. One of the Broderick stories is actually pretty tight.

Well, the thing about Bill Clinton is he's guilty like Trump. Well, the thing about Bill Clinton is my coolness outdid the rape danger So I'm all forever cool You know Slick Willie

He's just cool enough that he can slide under He played saxophone on her in City Hall How can you be against him With those glasses on too It was cool I have never seen a politician who could do something before Alright we have to pick another president for after Trump. Can't be a politician.

And let me think. Woo! I want the nature boy in the White House. Who? The nature boy, Ric Flair. Oh. You don't want Ric Flair in there? Who would be good? Good at it?

Or entertaining? This is not to be good at it We did this exact topic already Who would be good at it then? PewDiePie You know what? Sure, that'd be funny I'll vote for him Eat Sheet Wall Street Journal You know what? Sure. That'd be funny.

I'll vote for him. What the hell? Eat shit Wall Street Journal. Like his press pass revoked. YouTube deregulated as fuck now. Can't shut down my videos. Disney, I want that movie contract back. Or whatever you would do.

Yeah. We have done this before and I think I lean toward wrestlers in this because I feel like they're the best off the cuff showman that we might have because they go out there right in front of and they're physically imposing as well I like that

did you ever see the SNL skit The Rock Obama? No. I see Oprah. It's The Rock as president, and occasionally he just body slams somebody and stuff. I don't remember if it was... If you want someone not intimidated by Putin,

The Rock, you could do a lot worse than The Rock. Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. The Rock's not mean enough, though. We don't know. That's just a fucking cover. I bet he's a real piece of shit when he's not on camera. Dude, that would really... Brock Lesnar would scare all the other world leaders.

No, he's definitely a real piece of shit. Yes. Yeah, that's what you... Imagine how awesome America would look when it's you know giant ass you know big suit brock lesnar all of his suits are tailored in a v so you can see the top of his sword tattoo as he stands thrice the girth and twice the height of putin and like goes to japan or like really any no world leader like he'd stand up he'd make trudeau look like just such a little bitch macron is the smallest one i can the french guy would the really thin guy yeah macron macron

yeah macron or however you say it that's probably sounds really frenchy yeah brock lesnar would would yeah yeah so trump was doing these ambush handshakes like the first couple months of would dwarf that guy. Yeah. Yeah. So Trump was doing these ambush handshakes like the first couple months of his presidency where he wouldn't let go. He was total douchebaggy. And then people started getting ready for it. Like the Canadian dude out-handshook him

and maybe the French guy too. Brock Lesnar would not be out-handshooked by anyone even if they knew It was coming He could handshake dueling world leaders And then do a really cool Suplex move He could beat him with his left hand Which is an awkward handshake

Joe Rogan would make a good president Get him up there Right Joe Rogan and like I don't know Be like day one of joe rogan's presidency all drugs made legal day two penises are crazy am i right gorilla chip penises are smaller than you'd think but they're like wood so anyway here's our tax plan but real quick before we get into that jamie pulled that video of that woman falling into a tiger enclosure.

Jamie is chief of staff. Hey, can you make DMT legal? I need to make DMT legal real quick. Change your mind. That's what his whole presidency would be. Day one, all drugs legalized. Day three, meth and crack re-illegalized. Sorry, but you have to hear it, guys.

My bad. I'm really sorry i retrospect it was irresponsible to get on tv smoking a blunt saying all cool kids take pills go in your parents uh bathroom and look around he's one of those isolation tanks in the Oval Office. He's always in there. Yeah. President Rogan hasn't left his isolation tank for an interview in four days. Just pruney as shit. I kind of

want this. We thought the Trump show was good. The Rogan show, that's where it's at. I'd watch it. He'd get the best guests. Oh, and he has to keep his podcast going. Of course, from the local office. Yeah. We've got Putin here today.

We've got Assad, madman. Local madman. That would be the funniest fucking thing. Because any world leader from anywhere on Earth could come in and over the course of two hours totally change Joe Rogan's mind. He'd be like, now Assad, I'm not happy with the gassing of your own people and all the things you've done you're torturing people and it's hard to be like this is not true you have been terribly misled by a corrupt media i'm very sorry to have to be the one telling you this

i did why would i guess my own people it doesn't make sense however he would like say it and by the end joe would be like asad buddy come here like dude a similar thing we're back to the john jones thing novitsky the the golden snitch the guy that runs usada was literally defending john jones and one of the his lines of defense was you know he got busted for this exact steroid already. Would anybody be so stupid to do this exact steroid twice? And Rogan was like, actually, these are fighters. They're all crazy. You can't say that someone's so stupid that they wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

They do this stuff so consistently. It was, I don't know, The fact that USADA was using the no would be so dumb to actually do that defense seems sketch to me. Yeah, I could definitely see fighters being dumb enough, or really any athlete being dumb enough or getting blinded by the ambition. But I think especially

blinded by the ambition is a process that you're right, but something about fighters in particular I think might be more willing to take some risks Like compared to a hockey player Just make a bad call twice Yeah that's possible But I am looking forward to the fights this weekend

Of course it's going to be great It's going to be fucking great I don't even know who the undercard is I just care about that Amanda Nunez fight I would be psyched if Silva was also On this card I don't even know who the undercard is. I just care about that Amanda Nunez fight. I would be psyched if Silva was also on this card. Am I? Anderson Silva?

Yeah, he's about to fight Israel Alessandri. I just don't know if it's this card. Yeah, I don't think it's this card. That would be killer. Yeah, I think that Amanda Nunez fight is going to be epic. Just two real fucking badasses going at each other. I'd love to see Nunez take that fucking belt away from Cyborg. UFC changed their website.

Now it has a whole bunch of boring fucking animation before the page loads. Oh yeah, I can't go to that website anymore. No, it's garbage. It's so bad. I can't navigate it. I don't even know what's going on there. So the fight I was talking about, Israel, is not on there. But Jones versus Gustaf. Gustafson. Gustafson. Thank you.

It's definitely the top. Cyborg versus Nunez. And then here are the ones we didn't mention. Condit versus Michael Chessia. It's an interesting fight. I guess I'm not a fan. Latifi versus Corey Anderson. These aren't

fighters I follow very much. They're new to me. And Mendes versus Alexander Volkov. Ah, that was the other good one. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so Mendes got busted for steroids too. And of course, he didn't actually take steroids. He was just accidentally applying a skin cream with steroids in it. So so falsely accused but

now he's back from his suspension and uh you get another fighter's career just damaged by weird steroid accusations by accutane that's all it was yeah uh pariasis or something i don't know what a skin yeah psoriasis oh okay well Well, then, yeah, you do treat that with a steroid. I know the name of the steroid. In any case, yeah, psoriasis is nasty. Is it? Is it called like a corticosteroid? They use for that?

Like not the same kind? Like you wouldn't do a test? It's different. Yeah. I don't. I think what they're probably testing for is what your body makes in response to a steroid, and perhaps that's a similar thing. I don't know anything about that science at all.

It's easy to baffle regular people like me and maybe you. Just be like, yeah, you know what? You give a guy a steroid because he has poison ivy, which is a thing they do. I think it's... Yeah. Is it prednisone? Prednisone? Yeah, prednisone. Yeah.

And, yeah, your body makes the same metabolites out of that that it makes out of turnable. Terminobol. Terminobol. And, you know, there's these tests that catch innocent people all the time. And I'm like, oh, well, this is actually something I've had no study on except listening to you, so I guess it's okay. And these guys, they hire experts. The second they get busted, there are people who specialize in getting you unbusted

for these steroids. And they're like, oh, yeah. You got to tell them you were taking GNC, you know, dirty creatine. And, you know, that's been known to have Terenobol in it, and you're all set. And that's the process. And it's the same thing every time.

I was using this innocent thing, and it made me pop. Michael Bisping, I like the way he's like i was a careless this is michael bisping talking i was a careless motherfucker for like 18 years i fought in the ufc i didn't watch anything i ate i took supplements i took this i took that i wasn't reading labels i wasn't doing any of this thing never tested positive for anything careless motherfucker the fact that these guys are consistently showing up with steroid metabolites and they're in their fat they're probably taking steroids that's how that happens you want to see a clip here one of the fighters asked dana white who's gonna pay my california income tax yes i want to see that clip oh man hey what is this okay so for your information taylor because

john jones tested positive nevada wouldn't allow him to fight the fight was in vegas so the ufc's response is well fuck it we'll go to la and fight they'll let us fight and so obviously the taxes are much more extreme in california on the money that everyone will make from their fighting. So this guy says, who's going to pay my taxes, my California fucking taxes to Dana White at this presser? 28 second video. I listened to half a second of it. It might be quiet for everyone. So please don't talk over it.

Ready, set, play. Compensation for the increased income tax in California. Who's going to pay my income tax in California? And also the increased medical costs. What? And the increase for the medicals for California State. It is what it is. It's either that or not fight. Nobody gets paid and nobody does anything. It is what it is. We had to move it. And listen, it's costing everybody more money. Compensation for the increase. It just looped for me. Yeah.

Well, I mean, how else could he have responded to that? Yeah. He's like, well, you're going to pay those taxes. One of my takeaways. I'm not enthused about this either. He was kind of angry. And sometimes Santa Dana does pay for shit. You know my takeaways. I'm not enthused about this either. He was kind of angry. And sometimes Santa Dana does pay for shit.

You know, like, hey, my opponent pulled out. I know I'm not fighting, but I did a training camp. Now I need to do two training camps for this fight because we just delayed it 12 weeks. This is really hard on me. And Santa Dana is like, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Sorry, things are going rough here's money and he does that so when this guy asks about maybe if he had asked

nicer he would have got it he's saying who's going to pay my taxes if he was like hey I make 12 to show and 12 to win is there something you can do to help me make the kind of money I would have made, the kind of money I was expecting to make?

Maybe Dana would have replied differently. Yeah, he did go into it with a bad attitude. You're right. Just the way he positioned it would have probably been enough. If he would have given Dana White an opportunity for a good PR situation, he probably would have got it. If he was like, Dana, I know this isn't your fault. You wanted to do it in Vegas, but i'm i'm just uh i'm not connor uh yeah we're not connor what's connor

mcgregor connor mcgregor uh i'm not connor mcgregor i'm not fucking khabib like can you please do something to help mitigate this for me you know it's not that much and it would really happen like he probably would have got it i would think yeah yeah maybe not i don't know certainly would have turned out better right now i think dana's like oh if that fuck loses a fight he's cut yeah yeah yeah that guy put himself on the shopping block for no reason you're gonna embarrass your boss at the press conference well we'll get a good fight for you next time yeah yeah that's used to, I used to write this on Reddit From time to time, they'd be like Oh, that guy's an asshole

Or that guy's a cheater You know, I hope they throw him out of the UFC I'd be like, not me, I think we should give him a title shot Right, let's take that guy And feed him to John Jones Who will eat him alive Take that, whatever weight class You know, let's put that guy in there With Matt Hughes or whoever's champ At the time Jon Jones, who will eat him alive. Take that whatever weight class, you know?

Let's put that guy in there with Matt Hughes or whoever's champ at the time. Just fucking, yeah. He'll walk out of there with one arm. Tyron Woodley or somebody like that. I can't stand Tyron Woodley. Why? I'm going to ask why. Because he's a whiny, race baiting,

complaining, nothing is ever my fault, twisting everyone's words every time they say them. Asshole. He does do those things. That's why I dislike him. Well, those are valid reasons. I don't like the race-baiting. I don't like how he takes everything. Every time someone gives him a compliment, he's like, what do you mean I speak well?

We mean that the sport involves a lot of being on the microphone and you do a good job at it. You mean for a black man? No, I mean for an athlete who gets hit in the head a lot. Clearly you've taken a few too many shots because you're being a real piece of shit right now.

Like, I don't get it. He's like, if I was white, I'd be this and that if i were and it's like um look at john jones do you see him getting uh the raw end of any deal because of the color of his skin no you see him get every opportunity you see him get every um um push every kind of like sponsor deal like like anything and everything that can be done to make john jones succeed is done for him look at look at he fights people that people don't want to fight right yeah look at anderson silver or demetrius johnson like like these people aren't getting um um discriminated against and treated poorly

they're getting fucking paid they're getting pay-per-view points. They're getting respect. Only you are calling this out like the organization or the fan base is racist. None of that's true. The fan base does not see color. Look at Daniel Cormier. Some of the most beloved people in this sport

are white. The fans don't care where you're from or what color you are. Even if you can fucking speak English most of the time, if you go out there and you put on entertaining fights. You get shit because you play it safe every time you go out there and I see that side of the coin but you need to see the side of the coin where the fan base wants entertaining fights because that's what they're here for. They don't want to see point boxing. I still hold it against him that he kind of dodged his way to a title shot if that makes sense i'm trying to remember the specifics of it but he sat out like

18 months because he was sort of next in line and avoided any risk and he's avoided as much risk as he can since then and he's a great fighter he's he dominant. He's great. He's very effective. He wins his fights. And maybe that's smart for him. But like Kyle said, okay, look, I get it. You're the champ. You're the best 170-pound fighter on the planet. Congratulations on that.

But I don't have to love you because you're doing the kind of things that keep you champ, not the kinds of things that make you loved. I don't care about your record or your belt. If you went out there and fought Wonderboy hard and recklessly and lost, I'd love you for it. Instead, you went out there and danced around and put on two of the most boring fights in UFC history. Followed by the third one with Maya.

I was about to say, and then you go out there with Damian Maya. I get it. They're specialists. You have to be careful with these guys or you risk losing i want you to risk losing i want you to risk losing that because that's what my heroes in this sport do i don't see daniel cormier being like um no i'm not gonna fight derrick lewis what if i get unlucky and he hits me once no he's like oh you need me? You need me to fucking make your card work next weekend? Alright, sure. Here's the thing. I am the champion of this weight class

and I actually think I'm the best person at this weight class. So anyone who makes this weight can fight me. Yeah, absolutely. That's not... He's not my favorite. He's probably my least favorite. I really dislike him. I don't like

his attitude. I don't like i really dislike him i don't like his attitude i don't like his persona i just don't like i don't like how he carries himself like like he carries himself with disdain uh into every interview and every speaking engagement he's always got a chip on his shoulder and it's evident just by looking at him like like i don't like him he can win me back. I like him. Sometimes he does interviews, and I just find him to be really insightful and intelligent, and he wins me, right? He gets me.

I'm like, yeah, this guy is telling me things I didn't know. He's teaching me. Like, I think that's cool. And then other times, like you said, he's all the things you talked about. So we'll see. Yeah, and the race baiting is disgusting um and nobody's falling for it i have a big issue in general across the whole world of

topics with people who don't take responsibility for their failures right i i'm gonna drift into paramotoring there are a million paramotoring crash landings where i see people like you know what sudden gust of wind got me okay fucknard one nine times see people like you know what sudden gust of wind got me okay fucknard one nine times out of ten there was no sudden gust of wind two if there is a sudden gust of wind this is an outdoor sport you fucking jackass it's your job as a pilot to deal with it people aren't crashing their planes all the time being like you know what who knew the air didn't stay still for me yeah yeah it Yeah. It's your job to do that. So circling back to Tyrone Woodley,

when he says he's not popular and it's nothing he can do, it's just because he's a black guy. No, man. Like on the parts of this that you can do better on, whether that be not dodging fights or that could be, I don't know, being more entertaining. Like just do the best. You're not learning anything when you just deny all responsibility for what's going wrong.

Yeah, you can't pay him a compliment without him twisting your words and making it seem like you insulted him. Like you can't even tell him he's a good athlete. He's like, oh, so you're saying I only win because I'm athletic. I'm not skilled. That's literally a thing he does. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You're a piece of shit. You're just a piece of shit. Yeah. So I want him to lose. I'd love him to receive a serious beatdown. I don't know who's going to give it to him. I wish they would open the weight classes up and go 155, 65, 75. And then I want somebody to come down to 175

and beat the brakes off of his ass. Chris Weidman? Nah, he'd fuck Weidman up. You're going to have to... I don't know. Somebody's going to have to out-wrestle him, get him on the ground or something. He's so elusive. He's such a good... He's got great

hands. He's so quick. He's so strong. He really is an amazing fighter He would be offended by all these things you're saying You say my hands are good and that's the only reason I win God damn it What do you mean I'm strong? Huh? What are you getting by that?

You mean I'm country strong? Like a slave? Like I should be pulling your plow? Or are you saying I'm a strong, like a slave. What the fuck? Like I should be pulling your plow? Or are you saying I'm a strong black man? Which I also do not like. Are you saying I have intestinal fortitude and willpower?

Huh? Why? Because I eat all them collards and fried chicken? You saying that's why I got that intestinal fortitude? Because I've been eating cornbread? Well, the person they bring down from that other division to beat his ass has to be a black guy. You can't allow any excuses to slip in. Right?

I don't care. I don't know. I'm not familiar with this guy at all. But, yeah, that would be annoying if you're trying to be like, man, he's really athletic. And he's like, what? It's like, yeah, you know how like you put hours of your days and weeks and years into training to get really good at repeated movements

and muscle memory oh it's good you're saying because i'm black you call me easily entertained is that what you're saying like that guy like that guy one of my least favorite might be my least favorite fighter. Yeah, yeah. The only racist thing I can remember about him is when Bruce Buffer asked him to leave the octagon clapping so he would know he wouldn't take anything. But other than that, I don't remember any racist things happening to Tyra Woodley.

I've never heard of that. I'm trying to think of who might... You never heard that old trope where it's like, yeah, you're so racist you'd make black people leave clapping like maybe that's just the grandpa original oh i i forget if you said it on or off camera so i won't repeat it but it was nothing too bad yeah yeah i'd love to see him take a take a serious beating though i you know i like like i just don't know who there is to do it because he is very good he's very good

i'd watch him fight wonder boy again even though i'm pretty sure he's a better fighter than wonder boy and he beat him both times and and like draw but yeah pretty convincing oh yeah you're right first one was a draw pretty convincing both times times, though. Honestly, Wonderboy took the most damage. Wonderboy was the one that was getting rocked occasionally. At no point in either of those fights was Tyron in any serious trouble. I love Wonderboy. The problem is

for 98% of both of those fights, neither of them were in serious trouble. And that's the issue. Wonderboy's still fun to watch. Wonderboy is fun to watch. Has he been fun again? Because he was the other half of the boring Woodley fight.

It was just a bad matchup entertainment wise. Sometimes that happens. A good example is St. Pierre versus Koscheck. If that's before you were watching a ton of UFC, both of them were amazing wrestlers.

Somehow St. Pierre became a wrestler in adulthood, but Koscheck was like a NCAA sort of all-time great. You know, he was incredibly good All-American and better than other All-Americans. It didn't stand out. So it was like, what is going to happen? What is going to happen when we take the best MMA wrestler ever and then we take like the best wrestler ever

and make him fight in the octagon? Let's go see how this works out well it becomes really ineffective jabbing and neither one wrestles fuck yeah so that's i'm looking forward to askren getting in there i i hope askren is everybody is what everybody hopes he is and he's just this this world beater who who wants to fight four times a year and just goes through people that'd be that'd be fun to watch. So he hasn't fought yet, and I hope everything you say is right. What I like about what he's doing now is he enters the UFC and he starts calling out everybody.

He's the opposite of Tyron Woodley. He's like, let's fight. How about you and I fight? You know what? I've been watching you for a while. I think I can beat you. And he's just down the list. Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight.

And everyone else is like, no thank you, Mr. Askren. So I can't wait. I can't wait. I think, I don't know. They say Askren is great. I feel like I'm not good enough to evaluate talent unless they're fighting other great people,

if that makes sense. I'd make a lousy scout. Sage Northcutt looked like a world killer when I first saw him because he was beating people who weren't UFC caliber people. And he'd look like an action figure. Then he gets to the UFC and he loses some of these fights, you know? Like, it... So it's

hard to spot... Yeah, I don't know what he is. 3 and 5. Is that right? Oh, that seems like too many fights. 8 fights? Maybe you're right. Oh, excuse me, 3 and 2. Oh, okay. Um, so uh, Askrenren i don't really even know any of his opponents so how's he gonna do when he fights khabib we'll see yep i don't know i'd love to see him fight khabib again another reason for that 165 weight class i don't know why that's there's a hold up for that i feel like it get it in there. Get it in there. Do it. I do not understand.

I feel like most of the fans want it and I don't understand the hold up. And then like you said, there's more champions. So we get more better pay-per-views. Well, I think we should cut the little guys out. Fuck them. You're right. So there's the same amount of

champions. I'll tell you, I think that if TJ Dillashaw Beats Henry Cejuda That might be the last fight For that weight class Dillashaw, I don't know if it's true or not But I want to say he said They're paying him royally to end this division

Yeah, that's him talking shit Dillashaw's a bad motherfucker He's a bad motherfucker Steroided as fuck Oh oh he's so jacked he's so jacked it's like they took the muscle off of 170 pound man and stuck it on 130 pound man it's like how did this happen you look like one of those bulls that has like hyper musculature and it's just like oh every moment i live is misery. Remember, he looks really dense. He falls.

Yes. Thick. What's Cody? Cody Gambrand, right? Garbrand. Garbrand. Thank you. This guy is a meathead fucking idiot.

Cody Garbrand. Great athlete. Also Jack. But meathead as fuck. And they're like talking shit against each other. And Cody Garbrand at one point lets out, you're on steroids, man. You're the one who taught everyone else at the gym how to take steroids.

I was like, oh, God. Fuck. I know you're on steroids. You taught me to use them. Yeah. And then Mendes got busted for steroids. He's pretty much like, it's all connected. Yeah.

I don't know, man. I love the UFC. Looking forward to this weekend's fight. It's going to be big. Good luck to Jones. Good don't know, man. I love the UFC. Looking forward to this weekend's fight. It's going to be big. Good luck to Jones. Good luck to Nunez. I really want to see Cyborg lose. Fuck Cyborg.

If Cyborg beats Nunez, they're going to have to make her fight a man next. Yeah. Yeah, the only question is what size man? 135. I like it. TJ Dillashaw tj dillashaw versus yeah as soon as i said that i was like wait a goddamn minute you're gonna fight dillashaw no no no uh you don't want dillashaw dillashaw will fuck her up that's the problem it's too much oh smaller man no not me i feed him to the lions that's my theory on it you need a 125 pound man but she

doesn't have to cut and he does dj then she's gonna walk over that's that might that i can just imagine her like on him on her back choking her hanging up her dear life and she's like like trying to grab i saw this saw this in Princess Bride. It works. Exactly. Exactly. All right. Is that a wrap? Yeah.

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