Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #420

Episode Date: January 11, 2019

On this week's PKA, the lads are joined by Josh from Strain Central to commemorate this 420 episode to educate all on the happenings of marijuana and the trials and tribulations of a Weed channel on the YouTube platform, the watch Ninja attempting to awkwardly floss and everyone rejecting that idea and then they discuss Louis CK's comeback and the outrage around the material he was working out at The Cellar. 

Painkiller already, episode 420 With our guest Josh at Strain Central Kyle? Yeah, a couple sponsors tonight, Squarespace and GetQuip We'll talk about them later on in the show But yeah, let's get right into it I didn't put it together that we were doing 420 with Josh Until I said it out loud two seconds ago

You are always one step ahead, my friend Oh, I am such a retard I didn't put that together at all that's like episode 420 with the pot guy so that makes sense good job chiz wow right i just hit me up and i was like i would be honored to nice i appreciate it so you've uh you've been smoking a lot of pot uh i would actually say at times over the past few years, probably too much. But yes, since the last time I've seen you, I've smoked probably pounds of weed. And only regret like a couple of those ounces.

Most of the pounds were okay. That's a great ratio. Right. Wow. Pretty solid ratio. I remember, I don't know all the the details but your channel was exploding last time we had you on like it but you were getting tons of views on all this stuff and then i went and checked it today after you know a while back i heard something like you got taken down but i

always assume when like someone pretty big gets taken down they remedy that right but you had to totally restart right yeah so it's it's been like a back and forth thing. And probably about eight months ago or so, like all the weed channels basically just got wiped out. And I didn't quite hit 500,000. I was at like 498,000. And then YouTube just kind of blue balled me on the last channels to get deleted and it almost seemed like they were mostly keeping like the educational ones around until they wiped mine and then just never reinstated it whereas basically all the other channels have been reinstated except for like a couple of specific few and like it would make sense if they gave us any kind of guidelines or like reasons as to why they did so but they just kind of like did it and then left it on the rug and never talked about it they're they're doing it to be more advertiser friendly right because they don't there's some company that was like hey why why are you advertising my diapers on this stoner's channel this pot guy yeah and and that would make the most sense especially if they didn't reinstate all of

the channels that were reinstated and a lot of the bigger channels still remained advertizable and actually still do remain advertizable and advertised on and from youtube's like business side it honestly would make the most sense if they just made some kind of 18 plus revenue stream and then actually profited off you know our kinds of channels as we already mark them as 18 plus like that's already a requirement so so and you're i gotta do you have a network to like help you with stuff like this no you would just so okay yeah i've never i've never really went the network route i honestly just i went my own website route especially going forward like put all my old stuff on the website

because i've always been like really a type with content so like that was all on backup drives and stuff so i just like threw it on vimeo put it on my backup site and then continued forward on youtube probably about less and less helpful just fyi like 100 they just want to take 20 percent years ago network for magic like you couldn't do anything and if you did they'd fix it by the next day now they're like worse than YouTube they're like Woody we looked and found problems that YouTube didn't we're fucking with you

take down your stuff see that's how networks worked when you were the big guy the way networks worked for me a little guy was like every three months a message like hey I've got I've now got seven videos in my drop box and am i did you forget about me am i not and then the message tied in a page or something yeah basically yeah it depends i had a lot of great relation great

experiences with with networks you know that helping me helping me out and but like the yeah but my point was that like the huge guys get that really good benefit because you're a premium customer. It makes sense. You're a higher priority. Some of those things are gone. The concept of managed channel, those protected channels, is gone now.

So I still have people that, I guess, go to bat for me with Google, but I haven't seen a big success ratio on that. And that's another weird thing. I had contacts like at YouTube that like all up until basically the point where they like deleted my channel were like in pretty constant contact with me. And then all of a sudden, like it's just dead air as soon as all this happened. So I was like, I honestly waited a little bit to kind of see as it's against like YouTube guidelines to make new channels. So I like wait a little bit to see if they would reinstate it.

And after like five months of just being ghosted, I was like, this is tender dates times a thousand. This is my career. So I'm just going to go ahead and make a new channel. Fuck it. How's that working? Did your people come back? You how you doing? So it's been like I'm at like thirty thousand right now, like thirty one thousand or so.

So it's been like, I'm at like 30,000 right now, like 31,000 or so. But realistically, I look at it as like my 500,000 was kind of a dead audience in some ways. Like I was probably only keeping between 10 and 25,000 consistent viewers throughout, you know, every video. So it makes sense that stoners would subscribe and forget. Just be like, oh, shit. Occasionally come across the video or stumble across the video hide they click on um but now i have like about the same numbers like 10 000 consistent viewers on like good content and then like 5 000 on my normal so it's it's slowly growing back again but it's also nice to like start on a new foot you were pretty closely

with like individual like marijuana i don't even know what companies yeah is the bad word is that what you call it in a store like i need to buy some some paraphernalia is yeah so i work with a lot of vaporizer companies honestly okay that's like my bread and butter and then nowadays i try to work with the cbd companies that aren't just snake oil salesmen that aren't selling you like hey we have a cbd bath bomb that you can get super not stoned with dude that segues into the thing i really wanted to get your opinion on this i've been actually thinking about it for a couple weeks here it is let me set it up i think a lot of people predict that big tobacco the marlboros or who owns marlboro philip

morris thank you yeah the philip morris's of the world and the whatever, Winston or something. Those people are going to eventually run e-cigs as well as pot, right? And I was curious what you expect to come from that. And let me lay out some more. I believe they will fuck it up, right? Because we've seen them do normal cigarettes already. And they're like, yeah, let's put a little bleach in there and fucking fuck with the nicotine.

And, you know, with e-cigarettes, bad for you. That nicotine is like the third most addictive substance. It ages your skin and heart disease and all that fun stuff. Google it, Kyle. And they're selling that now as if it were a healthy alternative to cigarettes. What's going to happen when the Philip Morris of the world runs pot? Do you expect pure, like, a level of professionalism that we've never seen before? Which is a possibility, right?

Like, they're going to have this stuff down to, like, an assembly line science compared to the compared to the craft breweries of pot that we have today. What do you see coming? There's my setup. It's going to be – so honestly, we see it kind of small scale in all the recreational markets. You have your mom and pop people who really care about their crops and do good quality scale gardens that are well spaced and well aerated but like when you overstuff a garden just trying to get production like as many plants you can possibly get quality drops its smoke ability like becomes really like not so great and also they're gonna deal with bugs which

means they're gonna be pesticides and it's just gonna be the same thing with cigarettes like they're gonna have huge fields or huge gardens that are over over like populated they're going to get bugs they're going to spray them with pesticides and they're just going to try to get the cheapest possible like on their end the cheapest possible production like like plant so it's not going to be consumer wise the best thing or or i'm guessing it'll be cheap here's what i'm i'm listening to you and i'm like it sounds like they're making budweiser right so it's not your i don't even know what a great craft beer is i don't really i don't do beer or pot but um but but i do know budweiser is like a very consistent sort of mass-produced everywhere you buy it you get it the same every time whereas maybe dad's home

brew yeah sometimes it's good sometimes it's bad right it's it's it's small batch and that's what it's going to be like there's still going to be small batch grows that are probably going to cost you quite a bit more but you're still also going to be able to get your like philip morris you're really cheap like basically middle consumer who doesn't care about the weed science or doesn't care about the quality. There's going to be an American Spirit style marijuana company,

right? A green Marlboro packet that's not menthol. It's a brand of cigarettes. Oh, I had a friend that smoked American Spirits years ago and I was standing outside with him at a bar once smoking and he was like

you know what I like about American Spirits and I was like what man and he goes there's no additives and I was like there's no additives that's not true is there no nicotine in that and he's like it says no additives man and I'm like give me your cigarettes and he's like, it says no additives, man. And I'm like, give me your cigarettes.

And I was like, no, it says no additives. There's no additives in this. You've smoked an entire pack today. But he, with a straight face, a pack a day smoker. There's no additives in here. Jesus Christ. I hear that. That's every e-cig smoker I know.

There's no additives in there. So it's like, you know, the idea and on the box, there's like a picture of like an American savage, which is what I call. And so the idea is like, this is like the pipe tobacco that the red man smoked long ago. No, no bleach in here. And I guess it's true. But so, you know, it's probably the probably the worst though because the cheapest thing in the the store honestly are they no i know some no i know people that smoke that no not like all right so here i want to say like a regular like pack of marble reds is like four dollars or something like that, $4.50. And a pack of American Spirits is like $7.50, $8.

In 45 years, it never even occurred to me that not all cigarettes were the same price. I thought, I just assumed that the boxes were so standard size. You didn't think it would be like canned beverages or like premium fruits or alcohol like beer so so so i see how dumb it seems now

in the same way that you can sort of judge someone's social standing by what beer they drink you know maybe if it's a gentleman if like the person drinking the beer was shadowed out like a Pokemon character you hadn't unlocked yet, but in front of them was a nice craft beer,

like a $6 fucking bottle of beer, you'd go, huh, I bet that's probably like a 27-year-old white guy with a beard and glasses. I bet that's Taylor behind that beard.

And look at the size of that head. That's a giveaway. He's got a good job. He's doing well for himself. And he has a few of these on the weekend. But if you've got a big tall boy of something called Red Bull Stout or something like that.

Or Stag. You're like, that's a different kind of individual that's drinking on this bad boy and in the same way certain cigarettes have have similar connotations behind them you know simply if you see a pack of winston's you kind of know this is probably a white trash individual behind this pack of cigarettes. If you see a pack of cools, that's black guy. It just did. Like I used to sell cars and everybody in that business. And I think in the same way, like if you're in the service industry, like if you're cooking, if you're a chef or a line cook or something like that, they all smoke.

I've been watching a lot of Hell's Kitchen lately. And basically they've got like 15 or 20 contestants that are all line chefs've been watching a lot of hell's kitchen lately and basically they've got like 15 or 20 contestants that are all line chefs essentially more or less and and like the between the competition part they're all they like sit around in the dorm and like argue with each other and stuff every single one of them has a cigarette every single one of them is smoking so like working with those smokers i i was like one of like two or maybe three white guys at that car dealership it was nothing but but cools and and newports are they both kinds of menthols because that's all i know yeah okay yeah because that's all i know about

um what's the highest class cigarette i've always i've always heard parliament is that right i was i think marlboro's honestly are pretty up there because it's like 11 a pack here in washington marlboro is like a bit closer marlboro is hot pretty high up there and i agree with you on the parliament thing the parliament's a kind of a classy cigarette if you ask me that's what i saw a lot of the like european guys smoking like the uh the ukrainian and russian guys they smoked parliaments a jar of black like one of the uh it's like the thing in between a cigarette and a cigar yeah like basically like a clove oh well clothes different it's like specifically hipster shit it's probably like 11 11 to 13 a pack here in Washington. I like clove cigarettes. Wow, a pack of cigarettes is over $10? Oh, yeah.

So Marlboros are probably like $11. But come to think of it, I think American spirits are probably right about at that $8 mark, like you said. So I think they're maybe standard. Jesus, so people are spending $10 a day on cigarettes. The light smokers are. Right? So, Woody, in certain they've they've put huge taxes on the cigarettes uh like cal i want to say california new york or among those definitely new

york uh i was in new york once and bought a pack of cigarettes for somebody and i want to say i paid like 12 or something i was so it's a good four grand a year on cigarettes if you're a smoker sure after taxes you'd have to earn like $7,000 a year. That's like the raise that you'd – all right. Honestly, the reason most restaurant smokers get into the smoking thing is because that's the only break you get online. You get the regulated mandatory state breaks that no line really is able to actually take or restaurant owner allows you to take. So I disagree, Josh,

when I was, when I was 26 years old working in a call center, I invented the secondhand smokers break. Just go out there and shoot the shit every so often. Cause fair is fair. Reasonable though. Yeah. Just take,

take your time when it's needed. Yeah. Cause I need a secondhand smoker's break. And they'd be like, well, what the fuck are we going to say? You know, everyone else gets one. You're in one of the worst states for cigarettes, if you're a cigarette smoker, in Washington. Oh, yeah, for sure. They had $3.02.

I was going to ask. Our tax is ridiculous, because our weed tax is really high too we pay 37 on every sale are e-cigs cheaper annually or more expensive it depends how much you smoke and which one you smoke so like this uh the jewel that taylor and i have uh they come in i got a package here um they come in a little pack like this, and there are one, two, three, four of these things in there, and I think they're like $16. Would you call it each of those about a pack of cigarettes? I don't know.

I don't know. For me, it's a day. For me, it's like a day of heavy vaping. So that's like $4 a day. $4 a day, yeah. That's half price. That's just smart money management, Kyle. On PKA, I'm obviously puffing on this thing a lot more than I do in my daily life.

Yeah, I puff it on a lot more on PKA than I do in my daily life. You're just sitting here? Yeah, I've found that too. I use this like 100 times more just sitting here recording than I do. It's energy and concentration and a little electronic sitting here. Yeah, I've found that too. I use this like a hundred times more just sitting here recording than I do. It's energy and concentration and a little electronic tool here. And so I definitely, I'll go through this. I'm going to change this pod before the show's over. It's low anyway.

But yeah, it is cheaper. And it's not cigarettes. It might age the skin to some degree. But it won't give me lung cancer. And it won't give me emphysema, and I'll never have to talk like this. It might give you lung cancer and emphysema. I looked that up before the show because I was curious,

and it's inconclusive. There are some studies that say it does, and some studies that say it doesn't. Then again, Kyle was 100% right about salt. Yeah, well, for now. It's not bad for you. In 2020, they'll be the thing that says, oh, never mind. Salt is bad.

Salt is bad for you. And forget everything you've heard about eggs. Don't even get me started on what eggs have done during the course of my lifetime. They've gone from like a health food to the devil to tobacco again. I don't know. I don't believe eggs are that bad for you. There's no way. Everything's fine in moderation you Everything's fine in moderation

Everything's fine in moderation I firmly believe that Everything seems like a stretch Heroin was in my head too And I suspect that even small amounts are not good for you Oh heroin I think was the number one most addictive I said nicotine was three

Because I was gone a little Google tyrant Or tangent the other day and uh heroin i think was first nicotine was third and barbiturates were second but i may have one in two spots yeah i don't know how to gauge that right like like that see my question was something like that is it's almost like when they gauge like the the heat of a well actually they're there's a scoville scoville level with with peppers but yeah I don't know how they gauge that are they are they taking like statistics of people who are addicted to these things

I don't know how that works there's no base if I got the inference right it's the amount of people who tried it who developed addiction to it alcohol is way higher than I thought but see that's not fair right because because so many people will drink alcohol, right? No, that makes it more fair. It's the amount of people who... It's like a per capita, right? So what you're saying is a large sample size. They're not saying the amount of addicted people.

It's the percentage of people that try it that eventually develop addiction to it. So alcohol, for example, was 22%, which was higher than I thought. But shouldn't you also factor in the kinds of people who are likely to say, try heroin? They're probably already in a lifestyle circumstance

in which the addiction is almost a given. I can see, yeah. That's not a bad point. Woody, I think if you did heroin right now, you probably would not get addicted to it. Because you've got a lot of reasons to not get addicted to heroin.

You'd be like, that was real good. It was real good, but I didn't do shit for three days. And I was nauseous on the fourth day. Don't think I'll do heroin again. Plus, that needle really hurt, and Jackie will not let me come near her. Come on, baby. Tie me off. The needle hurting, I don't yeah come on baby tie me off the needle hurting i don't know i i would endure that because because i totally want to be a steroid junkie but uh the heroin i don't know and part

of it and i need to do this better with food but a lot of my food discipline is based on pure snobbery and looking down i i see a snickers and i'm like you know what that's not the kind of thing that goes in this temple. With heroin I'm able to fully pull that off. With Snickers we'll see. Have you ever seen a Snickers and been like, it's got peanuts in it? Nougat's good

for you, right? It's actually a legume. I assume nougat comes from somewhere in South Central America. It's a superfood i've heard the idea of intravenously taking something has always been a real turnoff to me i i don't like and that's how heroin works woody like the steroids are intermuscular that's not a big deal at all i'm sure we've all had an intermuscular shot like you ever gotten a shot in your butt

it doesn't hurt right you're like especially you've got a good nurse or whatever but i'm sure we've all either been hooked up to an iv uh for surgery or given blood now the one in the top of your hand while i don't care for it isn't that bad the one in like the crook of your elbow like down here i have had bad experiences getting those like them missing it over and over and it's like bitch you are digging around in my fucking body with a with a sharp needle are are they're letting you practice on me aren't they and it turns out yeah they are they literally use the inexperienced people to do that they did that with hope so hope was young and her veins were hard to find right

she's a she went up in three, right? So picture like a chubby little three-year-old, right? She's not cut or anything. And she needed to have an IV in. And the lady misses and Hope is in pain. And she misses again. She misses the third time. And I'm like, that's it. You're done. And she's like, no, no, no. Like, I'm a nurse. I can get this. I said, no, you can't. You get the ringer in here. And she's like, I do this for... No, no, no, no. I know there's a person you go to when it's a hard one. You get her.

And they... If you're ever sick in the hospital, I'm your guy. This is one of my superpowers. I can get you doctor attention, nurse attention, all in a friendly way that makes you the favorite patient. I know you don't believe me, but I swear to God it's true. No, Jackie has praised my abilities to like her family.

She's like, oh, yeah, when he showed up, all of a sudden, you know, like everything got handled. Everything is fine. And yeah, sure enough, they're like, all right, we'll get whatever nurse ratchet or something. And she comes in there and I know you don't want nurse ratchet, but she got it on the first try. And I felt like, ah, I was a good father right here. Yeah, I agree with what you did there. That's why I always demand only the nurses and doctors who serve me,

they have to be last name Kim, Lee, or Wang. Oh, you're missing out on all the brilliant Goldbergs. And the Patels. Dude, I forgot all the Bergs and Silvers. You're right. You need me with you,lor you're right chinese are jewish but yeah um no i actually give i don't actually give blood a lot i probably should but i've been donating blood a lot like i had my uh testosterone levels tested too fucking high i had uh you know i get an annual physical now because i'm old so but the people are amazing at it it doesn't hurt at all right here i feel like you do it for

a living it's not as bad but i'll never do it again i'll never do it again you gotta see my guy i got a vain guy i i nearly vomited and i nearly passed out it was so bad she she dug around inside of me with a fucking needle for felt what felt like three four hours and you already dislike needles right i volunteered for that shit i was like i was like yeah oh you're you'd like someone to donate blood oh negative here motherfucker golden boy i should learn my blood type see now if you go to the hospital, they're like, what blood type are you? I don't know.

They give you my blood. I could be wrong on this. Can O negative donate to literally everyone, even the positives? It's a universal donor, but there are some specific blood types that can only take one. There's unique blood types, but those are rare, very rare. So, yeah, almost every single person can take some of kyle's blood i'm oh positive and i think that means i can donate to all the other positives but not i was actually reading about the blood type thing recently and it said

according to this one article and i stopped looking into it afterward that uh if like one of the real medical things they pay attention to if you get a bad blood transfusion so if they mix up the bags and like you're a and Positive and they're B negative or something one of the real things That they like will pay attention to now because of mistakes in the past is the person feeling an intense sense of impending doom Really like the person will like it's almost like their body being like whoa watch. This is the wrong blood. Yeah If you feel like an intense feeling of impending doom, you're supposed to tell them because it's like,

I think you gave me the wrong blood. I have an, or even man, that's because now I'm going to have an intense feeling of impending doom. I was going to say in that situation, right? I feel like most people would already feel an intense feeling of it.

Like it's on your birth certificate. I think, right. And I lost that. I got to get, I think, right? I lost that. I gotta get another one. I think it is. And that probably varies by state. You didn't lose your birth certificate. It's around here. I don't know. I need the long form. I, uh, I have, yeah.

Nice one. Nice one, Mr. Trump. I've got my original, original birth certificate. Like the legit one. Kitty's got it. She's got it in a filing cabinet. She keeps up with it. I've also got, and it's got where my baby's... When I was a baby, my footprints

were inked onto the paper and everything. It's pretty cool to see. My feet are like this fucking big. Were you a big baby? I was a big baby. I was 8 pounds 15 ounces. Really? That's exactly. I was a big baby. I was 8 pounds, 15 ounces. Really? That's exactly what I was. Oh!

8, 15, bros, because 9 pounds is fat. I think I've told this before, but Hope was 9 pounds, 9 ounces, which is... Christ almighty. Yeah. Poor wife. Oh, C-section. C-section, yeah. Christ almighty.

Yeah. Poor wife. Oh, C-section. C-section, yeah. But big babies sometimes lose weight after they're born, whereas most babies gain it. And Hope lost something like 10% of her weight, which is not abnormal for a big baby, but it's abnormal in general. And Child Protective Services came out to make sure we were fit parents and such. Holy shit. Yeah, she lost like 14 or 15 ounces, almost a pound.

That's crazy. How did she keep up throughout time? Because you remember taking your kids. I remember as a kid showing up and they're like, here's the chart. She's 52nd for height and 48th for like that kind of shit. Hope was all, she was big and she was smart. Like those were like both things. So she's nine months old and she's smart. Like those were the, like both things. Like, so she's nine months old

and she's like walking around. At 12 months old, she was walking around singing the alphabet. And every time they tested her weight, her height, or her head circumference, I viewed them like school grades.

Like if she didn't get 90% or better, it was like, what the fuck girl? You know, like 88 head circumference. You gotta, you gotta, got to bring that stuff up. Those are rookie numbers. Keep growing.

Get the head stretcher. Yeah, she was giant. Now she's not giant anymore, but like as an infant or something. All her scores came in as A's. You ever see those South American peoples, they find their skulls, and they did this thing where they wrapped leather bands around their skull to elongate them? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I've seen that.

They find the skulls like an alien. Like you do a shoelace on your finger almost? Like bands of leather. Like you wrap the leather tightly around the skull and then it wet and then it squeezes and it's left on there. This isn't something you do in a day this is like a a lifetime effort to make their skulls elongate and so nowadays what people will do i think it was the anasazi people will find these skulls and they think that it's one of those like alien conspiracies they're like oh look here's what some people say ah this is an alien human hybrid but then they just do dna right? They're like, no. What this is, the aliens were coming down

and teaching the Anasazi to do things, and the Anasazi were trying to make their children look like the aliens, which were their gods. And that's, so those are, you watch a couple of those, and you'd be like, maybe, maybe. They're also the same people who put the stones out in the plains the the planes like in that in in those patterns that look like birds and animals and they're like you can't see they

had no way to ever look at this incredible artwork they made unless they were in the sky what's goddamn good point what the fuck why were they making those giant birds with stones because they had cones retarded if i had let's say that a lot of our population is blind and dumb why are we doing this you can make things without going to the sky to see if you told me woody i want you to mow your name into the yard i could do it also like if you're sitting around doing absolutely nothing all the time except just like basic life things and you like sit around it like a circle at night with some friends and like take some mushrooms you're like you want to do let's take a stone out in the middle of

fucking nowhere and 150 years from now people are gonna be like how the fuck did they do this it's aliens that's a great idea dude as soon as this headache leaves i'll be right i have a i have a friend who's been maintaining a dead spot that says his name and kyle o is who he is anyway he has his name and his last name with roundup in his yard and it's been over a year now he's waiting for google maps to update he desperately wants that thing to be on Google Maps. He's a paramotor friend so you see it when he flies too. Honey, if this yard has to look like shit for the next three Christmases,

I'm like, mom, let's go. She must be tolerant. Look at this skull. Look how hardcore they went. I know I described it, but you don't get a good sense of just how far they went unless you see it it's not they look like those like there's a movie is like space balls where they have like

oh the cone heads cone heads yeah yeah that dan akroyd thing that yeah that was an snl sketch that turned into a fucking movie that chris farley in it that's actually what marge simpson's school looks like she has very short hair it's just like man like i always wonder how stuff like this catches on like was a the son of a king born once or the tribe chieftain and he had like a long head and he's like my son is not gonna get bullied at school you all have to make your children's heads like this. We're making this normal. But things get... Because I instantly started searching for ridiculous stuff that we do, and I landed on circumcision.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, it is ridiculous that we still do it, but like... And you know me, I'm not a fan of it, but this is... I'd much rather be circumcised than be walking around hitting my forehead on, you know,

the top of the doors. On the archway. Maybe their huts have arch doors. It makes perfect sense. That would be hilarious. Like the way doors look when a cartoon character bursts through them. There's more room for their brain to grow. Not correctly.

What if they have an incredible sense of smell but no ethics? They'd lose any sort of ethics. So Josh, we were talking about your channel and I don't... Do you get demonetized? Are you able to successfully make pop-based videos on YouTube? How does that work? So I'm pretty much entirely demonetized at this point.

And honestly, like I made for probably like two years good monetization money, but have kind of like structured all of this around not making money from YouTube itself. As like I'm pretty conscious of the reality that I'm smoking pot on YouTube for a living. And that's something that like advertisers obviously don't love. And YouTube themselves doesn't have to allow me to do. Like, I feel like a lot of people in this position doing like the new weed content have this like really like overwhelming thought that they deserve to be doing what they're doing.

Like they're going to be able to do it forever. And like, it's going to be consistent. But from the beginning, like back in 2014 in like the stupidest stoner way, like it was a protest and like i was smoking weed on youtube like fuck it like i'm doing drugs on the internet like this is obviously not something that most people are going to be okay with so when i started making money off it

it was more of like wait do they know that i'm doing this like holy shit like i shouldn't be allowed to do this so i shifted to mostly like working with, like we were saying earlier, like working with the companies, doing RMD for companies, trying to upgrade like my photography skills to like sell that as a skill and like sell the backend stuff to make like product shots and stuff. And then just working with companies to do like releases and stuff. And a lot of my money today comes from like affiliate sales

on vaporizers just like the tech channels do how about patreon is there a business model there no kind of i'm working on it right now um just because i think i could like do a small daily session like a five minute session or something for the patreon viewers and a couple of different like rewards and stuff so that's something that like i'm especially now kind of shifting into getting back into like consistent content but going back to like over smoking these past few years i had like a six month period there where like i just had motivation to create anything and i feel like a lot of youtubers have that like period of like i'm unmotivated but like smoking excessive amounts of weed i don't think added to that motivational factor at all so i took like a small little break

and i'm now actually getting back into i basically daily creation if not like twice daily creation this way i started with what kind of r&d are you doing like will they send you a strain of weed or they'll send you a type of vaporizer and you'll be like man this is really good or this strain kind of sucks compared to so realistically i don't do a lot of like actual work with with weed and products because washington has terrible laws and that's why i'm like looking over the next few years to maybe move down to portland's and and kind of get involved in the oregon market because it's less regulated so it's more it's like the wild west. But up here, it's so regulated that you can't even give like a friend weed. Like you can't give someone weed.

So the only way they would really be able to do stuff like that is like finding a way to mark down the sale to like a dollar and then selling me a product for like a dollar. But most companies don't, since it's so much work for them and so much like paperwork and stuff. me a product for like a dollar but most companies don't since it's so much work for them and so much like paperwork and stuff and like it's a huge process they don't go and do it so most of it's like vaporizer work where i'm just getting like a product and and basically talking with the people in the community instead of just like being as straightforward as possible most of these companies are just china companies that are rebranding products and, and like sending them overseas.

So I try to work with the companies, especially the American companies that are actually like trying to innovate at least a little bit and like not just rebrand the same products and sell them for a cheaper price or a better price. So like talking with people who use day prices as like most people who use day prices, hate them. They're like, these things don't work. They're not strong enough. like most people who use vaporizers hate them. They're like these things don't work. They're not strong enough.

Like there's a lot of issues with them and no overseas company is really trying to address them. So I feel like a lot of the R&D is just trying to talk with people about what they want and then relaying that to companies. Can you not just vaporize stronger stuff if they don't like it? You can. that to companies can you not just vaporize stronger stuff if they don't like it you can you can like get into like wax vaporization and stuff but a lot of it's just like either wasting products feeling like you're like you could just throw it in a bong and get way higher or it's just like them actually that's basically all what it remains in because it's it's there's a really weird like stoner idea that bongs get you the highest just because it's a bong.

But realistically, you're smoking like carbon, you're inhaling a bunch of stuff that's not just weed when you smoke weed. And that affects the way that you're feeling that affects like your head rush and everything. So if you just hit a vaporizer, like you most people are like, I'm not getting high because they're only feeling the THC and the cannabinoids for the first time, basically. So they're feeling like the pure actual cannabinoid high and they're like, it's not strong enough. So they associate the whole thing with the bad stuff, too. Exactly.

So Oregon is talking about legalizing magic mushrooms. If they do that, will you incorporate that into your show? I'm actually not a psychedelic guy. I used mushroom once in high school, and that's about it. Have you tried DMT? I'm not Joe Rogan. You, Joe Rogan. What did I say earlier?

I don't do beer, like if that gives you a rough idea of where I am. But suddenly I'm like, you know, this DMT stuff, apparently it's going to make me twice the man I was before. It'll open my mind and keep it that way. And you got to eat elk meat because it'll make you more aggressive. Yeah, that's a good reason. If I could get some elk meat, some bone broth

and some DMT, I'd be ready to go. And you don't just want a kettlebell. You want to spend three times as much on the same weight kettlebell so that you can slam the uncomfortable monkey face into your shoulder every time you do it clean have you seen that that like gif of joe with like the two chimp things as he's i'm not a personal trainer i'm not a personal trainer but even looking at that i'm like that is bad form i i'm the same

way but i feel like i'm not built like the sort of guy who can fuck with joe rogan's form like you know whatever he's joe rogan i feel like he might be able to get a little bit of cheatery in with form with things like that because of his increased recovery size yeah yeah it's not just your muscles it's every tendon it's every ligament all that stuff has improved with steroids but he also yeah to be fair he's definitely putting on a show in that because it's being filmed and everything like he probably is more calm and collected i would that's true he might not want to grab like this 20 pounders and be like look how great these are yeah right no i squirrel's face on it i definitely think like with the whole like psychedelic community and and mushroom i think i actually

upset someone a couple weeks ago talking about this in like an instagram live stream but especially with like i've been focusing a lot on just like we're using drugs when we smoke weed and and people try to be like oh man it's, it's a natural plant, dude. Like we operate in these like really ridiculous like anecdotes in the weed community. And it's all because like we haven't operated in science for so long. So we like the old heads obviously don't trust scientists at this point because they're like, man, they kept weed illegal forever. Not understanding like the business side and the reason it was actually illegal for so long because people were like making money off different industries um but now like trying to get out of the anecdotal thing

i'm incorporating a lot of like mental health especially in the fact that like there might not be physical effects of smoking a shit ton of weed for years and years and years and years. But it's not great mentally as like we're kind of the test dummies, especially for like using dab rigs and like hitting oil and doing all these different forms that are so much higher in THC. Like we're almost like standardizing the fact that it's OK to sit around and hit like an oil rig all day and be like excessively high and like for some people that actually is okay as their job allows them to or their lifestyle allows them to but for like a 16 year old kid that's just getting into consumption they don't really if they're smoking weed at that age first off they're probably not in the best situation so they're like looking up to like us

us like weed figures trying to like learn from us and we're just like smoke as much as you want take like as many dabs as you want and like leading them down a path of like not so great mental health and then they're sitting there at some point like super depressed because they've been excessively smoking ridiculous amounts of weed for years. And they're like, ah, fuck it. I'm going to try psychedelics now. They hop over to the psychedelics and start doing like massive amounts of mushrooms and start doing like LSD and stuff, trying to like regain the sanity that was taken from them instead of like actually trying to regain their mental health, which like psychedelics can give you great like help regaining mental health if you're trying to regain it and you're aware that you've lost it and you're using them as like supplemental tools to guide you through them not just like taking drugs hoping

that they help your brain like when you vaporize that toad poison have you seen have you seen people vape toad venom i don't think it's technically venom. Whatever the secretion is from those toads that's poisonous, have you seen them vape that shit? I know someone who's done that. Toad venom is natural and therefore fine.

Dude, we watched it. He's a very smart guy too and very well spoken. I'll bet. I bet he probably speaks he communes with the toads at this point he's one of them we watched a video of someone vaping that toad secretion. I don't think it's venomous. It's like bile or something. I don't know. And as soon as he hits it

so hard, first of all. He doesn't just take a little puff. He's on a pebbly side of a little creek. And there are people with him. And the guy's heating up the rig or whatever. And it's got this glass vial of the toad shit. And he hits it

so hard it's just and when he lets it out it has already taken full effect there's no delay he's instantly he starts he goes i love you guys i love you i love and he starts rolling around in the creek splashing and vomiting at the same time. If he had done it alone, he would have died guaranteed. Totally. Because the guide responsibly gave it to him on a declined plane leading into a running creek. And immediately he falls in there.

Responsibly? I don't think that means what you think it means. As he's vomiting. I can't imagine a less fun drug than that. Josh, before we get too far off the topic you were talking about depression and and marijuana together for a while so let me lay this out there my recipe for fixing depression is this uh outdoor activity personal relationships with friends and family and sense of accomplishment right those are the things that i think cure depression right is it that pot um like sort of causes depression or pot encourages behavior

that doesn't have those ingredients so i i'm never going to be one like i'm gonna say and like if i even say the kind of things that i say my community so heavily almost like i there's been a lot of times that i've been just like speaking very objective truths lately and like the community is like pushing me away and like hating me for it they don't want to hear when like because it's like it's a self it's a personal experience like i'm speaking from personal experience not trying to like specifically change the way other people use the plant but like relating to that like weed does not cause depression, but it itself is something that pushes the problems away. It makes you very okay with doing nothing. It makes you very okay with whatever you're doing.

A lot of people will smoke because they're bored or they'll smoke because they're just wanting to enjoy a video game or something. All of a sudden, nine hours have passed and they haven't like dealt with anything and haven't like, you know, dealt with especially like their problems. So their problems just pile up, pile up, pile up.

And then they feel bad about it and guilty. And then to get rid of that, they either smoke this smoke more. And like, there's, there's so many just objective realities about the plant that people don't want to accept because they assume that like we're still they assume we're basically still in a prohibition phase which we are but they assume

we're not at a place where most people agree with the fact that it's okay to smoke weed like most people are like weed's okay so now we have to go to how can we smoke this responsibly and not fuck yourself up because it's definitely possible to smoke this and fuck yourself up like the 16 year old like like kid who sits in his basement and smokes pot all day is not just a stereotype. It's also reality. And like, if we're not going into this, like looking at objective truths, like, Hey, you actually can wake up with a weed hangover. It might not be as bad as like an alcohol hangover. But the reason most people wake and bake is literally to start to get rid of the effects the groggy effects all the effects they were feeling

and and get on that good good plane to start their day you can get a weed hangover i'd never heard that especially with edibles you mostly see it when people take large doses of edibles um honestly most of the time if people are just hitting a bong it's probably not going to give you any kind of a hangover but there's definitely if you're saturating your endocannabinoid system with so many cannabinoids like a really high dose edible or gram dabs like huge dabs and stuff you're gonna wake up feeling groggy you're gonna wake up feeling slightly anxious like they're not on the the effects that an alcohol hangover is but there's definitely still something there and we basically only put cannabis on planes of other drugs when we're like glorifying our plant so like the only time we'll compare it to alcohol or opiates or whatever is when we're like but weed's better and like we're downplaying all these other substances and trying to like put our plant on a pedestal without just accepting very base realities

that help us consume easier like i don't want to tell anyone how or how not to smoke weed but i would rather try to like lay out my truths and like what i experience with it and my consumption to try to like make sure that anyone can guide themselves away from that because not really many people talk about the negative effects of weed yeah people almost deny that there's any any like need to be responsible weed smoker like that that's the exact biggest point is like there is responsible limits and like it's almost like when you're so high all the time, you're in a detached state that you don't realize how high you are all the time. And like, yes, it's OK from a health level, I guess. And from like a life level, if you don't want to do anything with your life, it's like smoke weed all the time.

But like you're not going to be taking advantage of all your time. You're probably going to be wasting some of your time. And this is not to detract from the medical use of weed, because obviously there's people that mentally and physically have to use the plant every day. But even that, a lot of medical users take the liberty to excessively use the plant because they have a medical card or they medically can it's like yeah i if someone's prescribed like a medication they don't go and abuse it because they can like they take a small amount that's going to help them get over whatever they're trying to combat you're totally right but i just was thinking how funny it is that like at least quite a few people tuned into this episode like pk420

i'm gonna get high as fuck and now the pot man is like well pot man's like you might want to it's very true but yeah it's like it's the same feedback like and and you're you and what you're a million percent right that anytime i have never had to confront a friend on weed or anything but anytime you ever say anything like you know, not even confronting them anything negative about it, like oh this other guy smokes all day and like he does nothing like still lives in his parents basement and does

this that and the other thing and instead of being like yeah that sucks, he really needs to get control it'll be like well at least he's not a heroin addict at least he's not a crackhead, at least he's not an alcoholic who wakes up at three in the morning to drink a bottle of smirnoff or the other one you get hey hey he would be that same guy whether he smoked weed or not i hear that all the time look at how productive joe rogan is and he smokes weed it's it's and that that right there is like the point itself is true like they have a valid point and that's a very valid

truth but at the same time weed is not helping them get any closer to making them a more productive person and like no matter oh i only smoke sativas i only smoke it's like no matter what you're smoking especially if you're only living high all the time like that detached state whether you want to accept it or not like you're living and think through a different lens and like you're not thinking through a sober lens what is it's not helping you sativa and igloo or something indica so there's indicas are supposed to make you sleep actually this could be something i go on a huge rant about but i'm not going to so they're terms that we currently give to the different effects of weed in my opinion we should just call it sedative and stimulant as we do with all other medicines um but indicas are the sedative and sativas are the stimulant um but so you find sativas are not a get up and get it they're not adderall huh so it's weird

for someone who has add tiva work very similar to adderall um but for your average person like it will give them a slight euphoric effect with maybe some kind of a motivational creative boost i can't actually say weed gives you any kind of a motivational boost i think motivation wise weed keeps you pretty on the same level if not the tracks yeah probably saps it away i would think because there's a stereotype there's no i would say there's just no drive to create a lot of the time unless you like the creative aspects of weed when you become a daily long-term user start to slowly go like get less and less and less and less unless you check your use and you try to

control you know your tolerance and stuff so like you can smoke weed for 10 years and get you know great creative use out of it but you're probably not someone who's sitting there smoking like four grams of oil a day because your your body is so saturated with like cannabinoids that you're basically just maintaining at that point we watched a video um what me woody and taylor uh in our p we do like a hangout with our patrons uh like like once a month and we all hang out for like four hours right down below and uh we watched a video of someone was it josh no it wasn't i wasn't josh for the last hour i've been like was that dude josh no because josh is alive this guy did a dab that was like i want to say it was the mountain man it was nearly an ounce it it was it was like 26 grams yeah it was that you're there you go yeah

a 26 gram uh dab they were like two they weren't even nails they were like that like glass vessels that they were and they had like two guys like blow torching there's a three-man job to skin right and he's just he's not inhaling any like pure oxygen it's just it it's just like he's on the rig and then he exhales and then he just stays on the rig for what feels like two or three minutes forever right we didn't we didn't finish the video we don't know what happened at the end no i think we finish it and and i had questions about whether he did it all because it seemed like there was some left and you guys explained that the very bottom of it is not good or yeah i mean realistically at that at that rate no matter how like there's so many problems with it because i've actually

met the guy he's a mountain really really really nice guy he's probably just super ridiculously high all the time now come to think of it um but what they basically did and i think actually all of that stuff they call it reclaim and they took all the reclaim and put it into capsules and then donated all the reclaim to a patient with cancer so that was like the the nice thing of the challenge um but he i remember one of the times he was because he does challenges like that all the time, like 20 grams, 16 grams, 18. This is to see how much of this cancer I can smoke down.

Accurate though. And like, he always talks about his lungs being just like saturated and feeling heavy for weeks. Like when he's breathing, he like feels the oil like in his lungs oh good um but you're wasting most of that because the avioli in your lungs don't allow you to inhale past like a certain amount so even when i'm doing like the gram dabs which was like the biggest ones that i've done you don't you basically are inhaling like 0.4 and the rest of it's just like either going up in smoke or just kind of being exhaled in gram dab like because that's the one

you always see online of like the challenge amount like if someone doesn't smoke weed and they do the gram dab challenge are they just going to be asleep in like two seconds it's this is one of the reasons that i'm almost glad that my old channel doesn't have, it's deleted and gone. Like some of the stuff I was perpetuating was ridiculous. It was entertaining for sure. And it's definitely what I built a career on. So I have to walk a fine line of still like keeping a weed career and not being like outcast,

being realistic about cannabis use. But yes, like it would fuck someone up if they took a gram dab because like milligram wise milligram amount wise uh if we have like a 79 percent oil which is like pretty standard that's 790 milligrams of thc in that gram so them taking a gram dab like that's so much thc that it would just like flood their brain. They'd puke. They'd green out. They'd pass out.

Like it wouldn't, they'd cough to the point that they would probably feel like they were dying and have an anxiety attack. Like there's, there's a lot of things regarding that that are awful because your, your average dose for a new consumer is 10 milligrams of THC. And even that might be too high. Like some of them go to like two.

I can speak to the making you feel complacent because when Kyle and I and Chiz were in Colorado a couple years ago smoking, I was fine and so were Kyle and Chiz sitting at the same table ordering all three meals Grubhub playing Magic the Gathering for like 11

hours straight. And at no point was I like, you know, you should go see beautiful Colorado. We've got windows. Open the door. It's getting foggy in here. I did that on a larger scale with my life and Uber. I feel like for like five or six months. So yeah, it's, it's definitely something that like you just, in order to be able to

avoid the negative effects, you have to be aware of them. And like I started my channel because I didn't know anything about weed. And like I was super sick and tired of just like scrolling through forms of people arguing. So I was like, fuck it. Like I'll take this to YouTube and see if I can like learn from that community. And there really wasn't a community when I like started making content in like 2011 ish um but like I feel like it's grown to a point now where just like people are just perpetuating the same stoner anecdotes that we've been living in for for far too long and it's not worth it's not worth continuing that do you uh do you stream or do

anything like that yeah so i do a little bit of twitch here and there like that's that's definitely something that maintains content in that little period of me what do you do on twitch i i had no real like actual idea for like streaming i basically just like played video games especially a lot of H1, for like six hours and somehow maintained an audience. H1's cool. It was like, I didn't really have the

Wingsy rage, so no one really wanted to watch me play video games. He didn't have Wings rage? How is he doing? Does anyone know Wings? Yeah, i haven't kept up with him oh ranklin can probably tell you right every lobby of every video game i play in i type shout out sean ranklin just like you know there'll be a between if it's cod there's 100 people in the lobby if it's uh

if it's uh rust there might be 150 200 people in there i want to see test this sample audience if they type back hell yeah shout out to my fellow finger sniffers out there big ups liquid richard have a nice liquid diet then i know it was the other day and uh his chair is no longer squeaky because he WD-40'd it. The magic is gone. He was having what seemed to be a pretty good day because he got $1,000 in donation the day prior. It didn't get refunded.

Yeah, he got a nice Christmas. Well, you never know though. It takes a while. It's six months before that money. It was when I ran WoodyCraft. He had a really interesting live stream the other day It's six months before that, Monday viewers. It was when I ran WoodyCraft. He had a really interesting live stream the other day where he was at his mother's house. I saw this.

He's at his mom's house, and his grandma's there. Is his mom's house the trailer next door? No, no, no. The modular home next door. No, his mom has an actual house uh somewhere else you know his mom never lived his mom stayed with him for a while and who knows who that who the real owner of that

property that we saw in the video that is a twisted tale we've woven exactly yeah i don't know who owns any of that shit quite frankly like like like when you really boil it down. But in any case, they were at his mom's house and grandma was there and he doesn't understand when people are trolling him. People troll him and they say ah, where's the Ford Raptor?

They say to him, ah, you bought a Ford Raptor with that donation money. And of course, no one believes that he actually owns a Ford Raptor with that donation money. And of course, no one believes that he actually owns a Ford Raptor. No one does. They're trolling. He doesn't know what trolling means. He knows what it means, right?

He doesn't. No, he doesn't. But the other day, he defined it. And he was so far off that it's laughable. I think he does. He's like, trolling is like when you put a whoopee cushion under somebody and it sounds like they farted. And you go, ha, ha, ha, I trolleded you that's trolling and you're like no that's i almost feel like i almost

feel like he's slightly more self-aware than could it be that he's trolling you ah has he metatrolled us literally so all of these people have grew his channel exponentially. He has way more viewers than he has in years. Like these trolls, no matter how hard they're trying to like ruin his life, are definitely like putting him on a pedestal and uplifting him. So I think he's just accepting it at this point. Like I think that he's accepting that it's just like the only way he's going to get a lot of views. That's true. it's just like the only way he's going to get a lot of views. That's true. That's true.

He does. It seems that he does. He has come to that realization that this is a good thing for him, that they're trolling him. Financially. Financially. But he doesn't know what trolling means. He actually thinks that they think he owns a Ford Raptor. And they're coming at him as they're on the porch. They're like, where's the Ford Raptor at?

I saw it. I saw it. It's parked down the street. I saw it. and he's like granny do i own a ford raptor she's like she's like what's a raptor it's like a ford raptor you know the fast one you got one she's just responding nonsensically he doesn't know what he's getting at and his mom is like his mom is responding how probably any of our moms would respond if we showed up at their house and started twitch streaming then they're like they're like i don't want to be on that thing i don't want to be on that thing that you're doing he's like why not because those people attack you at those people are dangerous they'll fuck with me you know like you're showing street signs and shit

stop panning around here's my mom's brand new mailbox with bright chrome numbers he literally did show all the cars outside like he made a show every car. Dude, people figured out my makeup on. It's amazing. She's like, I don't have my makeup on. Come on. I'm thinking, yeah, man.

That's fucked. Especially around your family. None of us would do that to our mother. We would know that it's completely inappropriate. Maybe if you're an ice even ice beside knows even ice beside in house i've never seen his mom in the backyard or something or like yeah like after he was done he would start or he would like ask everyone there hey is it okay to be you want to be on camera are you okay with this you gotta ask you gotta ask a pioneer forcing your parents into being on a

live stream of sorts, Bam Margera. When he was like, hey, what's up, guys? Three in the morning, and I'm going to go, and my dad's taking a shit, and I'm going to go slap his belly 15 times. That was so fucking funny. I spent time watching all the old jackass stuff

last night on YouTube. You remember all the old jackass stuff last night on YouTube. The original... You remember watching the original jackass before they had a show and everything. And it was... They must have led to so many kids getting paralyzed in their backyards. Because all of the things they did,

they didn't have money back then. You could emulate it. That jackass is such a classic feel-good show you remember cky can't kill yourself oh yeah that band sucked yeah no that's what they were doing before jackass no i know but they they weren't good that was the first thing i did on youtube that was them hurting themselves though they like it wasn't a band wait i want to hear about josh hurting himself for for jackass yeah jack i actually think it i'm i'm 100 confident it's still up it's i think it's like either x x we do stupid things xx or x we do stupid things x and it's just like me and my fucking friends in high school

doing shit that i guess we thought was like jackass style and most of it like found it several cuts under my audience has found it several times. That's not one I can hide anymore. It's just like terrible jackass style shit that I'm like, what were we thinking? I did that in high school. We had this

project and she was like, go and be creative. That is your project. Create a thing. Entertain us. I was like, can I borrow your camcorder? She's like, yeah, sure. And your car, and your lawnmower, and the living room walls.

The next day, we're in my yard riding a bicycle down a hill onto a ramp and jumping into bushes and shocking ourselves with electric fences and tying ourselves to office chairs and rolling them down asphalt driveways and making a jackass video. Did they do well in class? Oh, they loved it. They loved it. Yeah, for sure.

One of the videos in that we danced, one of the things we were doing is like and i honestly think this idea if we did a little am i funny video we would just like run into a store with a boombox all wearing like super broey outfits like wife beaters and like tight pants and we were just like and i think we all had like button-ups on we'd like rip off the button-ups and just like be playing like 80s fucking shitty disco music and would like dance and just like see the reaction of people inside and it wasn't really like something that fucked up anything

so it didn't really have like that clickability where you'd be like oh they they ruined a store while they were doing it like we were just like dancing like fucking idiots um yeah i'm watching the one right now where you're bouncing each other around with a ball that's a pretty good one too we did it in our lunchroom at school once and doing it in our lunchroom like principal trip where the principal was basically just like uh first off you can never do this on campus again if you do any of this on campus again you're getting like immediately in trouble second off i think i got like a slight suspend not suspension but like a detention or something for it and then she was like you know you have a lot of talent you really got to stop this youtube stuff because it's not

going to lead anywhere maybe it's trying to youtube stop it stay away from marijuana but she's like make a commercial for the school so we made like some shitty commercial for the school that they never paid me for and i was like fuck you guys you guys just got like free work out of me for no reason yeah and i'm sure they ran that commercial on all the all the local channels everything right it was like a car wash donation car wash new topic yeah i kind of like this basement thing i don't i don't know if that's what you wanted to go to but i i've been i have to be flexible i've been itching to go into this you're itching i'm in the basement okay so uh

yeah what he can put it up there yeah so i'll read it quickly uh this says you are forced to spend i think we may have done something similar but but who fucking cares and and also this one's different with like like different options you're being forced to spend the next 10 years in a basement after those 10 years you will receive 10 million dollars your basement comes fully furnished with a good bed a sink a toilet a toilet, a shower, and a trash chute. You are also being given 30 points to spend on items and amenities that you can take with you into the basement. Bonus, if you half your $10 million payment to only $5 million, you'll get 35 points to spend. If you reduce the payout to nothing, zero dollars for spending 10 years in a basement, you get 40 years, or excuse me, 40 points to spend. And then there's

a whole list of items that have corresponding points that come along with them. Before we choose our items, would you do this? Yes, you would. Yes. Yeah. For sure for 10 years of my life yeah it's been my last five years so i'm older than you guys and i've also saved a lot of money and i'm like dude i don't know 10 that would put me at 55 like assume you're 20 assume like you're like 18 to 20 see now if i'm 18 and i'm broke i might look at it differently i might be like so you're telling me that the deal is i work for 10 out of my 80 years of life and the rest i just fuck about with you know like i can go from 18 to 28 which are some pretty key years you're losing but you go from 28 to 80 without needing a job that that's a trade-off i might make it just come out 10 million

i don't think i'd do it now but anyway i'll play the game i almost feel like most like kids that are in like that age range this is life you don't come there's something cutting off in your mic do you know what that could be like it's been happening all show but it's got particularly bad it possibly could i can actually quickly grab the other one of these I have if it's not fixable. But yeah, most kids in that age range, I feel like are just doing this without getting out of it with 10 million anyways.

You think they're... No, they're not doing this. They're just fucking around until they're 30. 100%. Like, living in their parents' basement. They go to school. They get a degree that they don't use. That is so much different than being locked in a basement.

Yeah, but you get to pick cool, fun things and you get $10 million. No, you're going to exit from this with mental health issues. Kyle? Alright, so I definitely want the full kitchen with unlimited amounts of the finest ingredients and an iPad that's programmed with every recipe on the planet.

The iPad can be used to look up recipes. It can only be used to look up the recipes. That's six points. Now, there were four total options in the food category. For two points, you get a microwave and microwavable meals. Living that banquet meal life, boys.

For four points, you get unlimited fast food, with the exception of Chick-fil-A, which you can add for an additional point and get up to five. That's absurd. No, thank you. And for nine, gourmet food from the world's finest chefs flown to you daily. Let's just pretend the chef's there cooking it for you,

but you don't get to interact with him because I don't want food flown to me. Nine points is too much to be wasted. But I would spend that six points right then and there. That's a good one. Yeah, I want to see how close you get to mine because I made mine before. In addition to that, the 52-inch TV with all the cable channels and premium packages is an absolute must-have. Okay?

There's no way I could do this without a television. What are you doing otherwise? All right? Now, there's a real serious problem here now that I'm seeing, and that is that I am at 13 points. That means that I cannot afford the stunningly attractive 18-year-old

who will have sex with me, which costs 18 points. That is so many points. I know it is, but it's... I'm going to take $0 and just have two fucking 18-year-olds and all the books in the world. They won't want to read them.

We're just going to be fucking for 10 years. You see, I'm one over at that point. I'm at 31 points. Now, I'm tempted to take the $5 million, and then I still have nine points remaining, right? Then I can have the kitchen, the TV, and the 18-year-old, and I'm going to get five... I'm making... That's $5 million

for 10 years. I'm making half a million dollars a year. You have no activities other than fucking that girl and regular TV. No, no, no. It's not regular TV. It's cable with all the premium packages. That's Showtime. What does Starz and Cinemax

have? If there's anything our sponsors at GetQuip would agree with, it's that you're not going to do anything with that 18-year-old if you don't bring in the hygiene products for three points. Oh, I didn't even notice hygiene. Fuck! He doesn't even have a toothbrush. You don't even have a toothbrush with this girl. Oh, but they won't either.

Why is Gary Bonds on the list? He'd be fun to have around. See, that's my thing. I take the 5 mil and I have 5 Barry Bonds. I just hang out me and 5 Barry Bonds in an empty room for 10 years. Can you imagine how quickly you'd go insane?

If my mic's Is my mic better? If it is, I'm going to Okay, so I actually wouldn't even choose the uh suddenly attractive i think if you if you basically assume you get the internet which is the same amount of points and then you get like an hd camera and the access to all your money up front to access the stock market you might be coming out of this with like a hundred plus mil and then you can just be like a 30 year old fucking or nothing dan fucking blazarian type you could just fuck 18 year olds for the next 40 years of your life i've got a i've got the full kitchen for six points a skylight for two points because i feel like you'd go insane without any of that a garden for two points

garden yeah it's going to give you something to do a sense of purpose get the fuck out of here a workout room for five a cell phone that you can only use one day a week for three so you have some human contact uh the tv for seven and then uh i had five left so i went with drugs i assume everything's legal in here so i so I'll do some drug experimentation for 10 years. You might die. I'm going with only $5 million. I'm taking the only $5 million on this one so that

I have 40 total points. And that's going to allow me to have the gourmet kitchen, the television, that gets me to 13 points, the girl, that gets me to 31 points, and that gives me 9 points remaining. The Girl, that gets me to 31 points, and that gives me nine points remaining. We'll take the drugs,

and now I've still got four points remaining that can be spent anywhere. I'm tempted to go with the phone because I'd like to talk to some people occasionally, maybe. You need the phone. You'll go insane. I think it's the phone. Let me just click a quick scan here.

Just be sure. Add all video games that have been released and new releases over time. Shit. Oh, man. This is hard. This is hard. I got to have the girl, the TV. I feel like you need hygiene products, though.

You haven't added that yet. No, fuck that. I'm going to be smelly. Here's my thing. You'll do it. Hygiene products. You can dual use your fully stocked kitchen. I'll just take lemon juice showers, and I can rub garlic

on myself. Garlic and onions, they have antibacterial properties. I can use celery to brush my teeth or some shit, probably. I'll put guac on a piece of celery, and by the end of it, I'll have little baked bean teeth. Like nine of them. This is so fucking hard, because

I really want the computer and the video games to the girl is the thing like you the girl is too many points if if you get if you get the hygiene products you also get the jacuzzi can i tell you where i stand so far yeah so i've got five points on gym three points on hygiene project product six points on workshop. Hoping I'd find some sanity in there. Seven points on money up front. Six points on kitchen. And six points on computer, but that's 33 points. The computer is my

phone replacement. Top of the line desktop computer, that's my everything, right? That's my gaming system. But you don't have internet. If you get your money up front, how are you going to do anything with it? How are you going to invest? That is actually part of the thing, and now I've access to the stock market you need internet yeah it literally says now you have access oh does it work it yeah oh that's true oh so you're the computer would just be for that yeah you got one of those old school teletypes and a phone dude in 10 years actually i think i forget if

it's seven years or 12 years or whatever it is, but your money should about double while you're in there if you get it up front. So make it worth your while. That's true. Yeah, but those 7 points... Well, what if you got 5 more free points? That doesn't work out, because then you get...

I'm like, but you can double your money for just seven points if you cut it down by five. But that's stupid. Never mind. I'm mad. All right, I'm changing it. I'm getting rid of the girl. Yeah, you got to get rid of the girl. I feel like the only easy choice in this

is the full kitchen. I want the full kitchen. And the gym. I need the TV. So that puts me at 13. I'm going to go with the computer now. We're replacing the girl with entertainment. Got to.

So 13 plus the computer gets us to 19. Taking all the video games, that gets us to 23. And I have seven points remaining. Let's take the drugs. You're going to want to skyline. Now I've got two points remaining. You're going to go 10 years with no vitamin d no sunlight yeah fuck that man i don't i don't i don't care it's not even kitchen there's vitamin d in there

there you go well no there's not but um the only way to get vitamin d is sunlight or supplements um you need sunlight you going to be so depressed. Why? Fuck. Is medical care from the school of New Delhi upgraded to a Mayo Clinic doctor? You are a really, really sick man. You can get vitamin D through food. I don't think so.

I just Googled it. Everyone's lying to you. You can't trust that WebMD. Go with Kyle. Okay. Your last two points. Just Googled it. Everyone's lying to you. You can't trust that WebMD. Go with Kyle. Okay. So your last two points, what are you taking? You only have the option of Skylight or Garden or Pool Table or Satellite Radio.

Which Satellite Radio is not going to be around in 10 years. So that'd be a dumb choice. Give me the gun with those three bullets. I'll do something. I'll figure something out, you know. I don't know, but fuck the remaining points. I really don't care what I do. I guess I'll take something out. You know? I don't know, but fuck the remaining points. I really don't care what I do. I guess I'll take the medical care and make sure I don't

get cancer from living in the basement that long. But yeah, that's my pick. Unfortunately, the girl is way too goddamn expensive. My first thing as the doctor is say, you should have chosen the sunlight. You would get really, really sick. That would be such a hard decision to make i wish they were i'm glad there's not some eccentric billionaire who's like you know offering you this right just for their own personal shits and giggles what's the thing on here you can't imagine

taking because it's so dumb oh good question good question barry bonds yeah but that's hilarious okay the gun the gun's worthless i wouldn't take the gun or barry bonds because like taking the gun is like going into it with the attitude of you are potentially gonna fail a puppy i would never choose the fucking dog because i've been in the basement for fucking 10 years shit everyone yeah and the dog dies at like the age of 8 and a half. He's just depressed as shit. I'm stuck at 27 points. I got gym, hygiene, workshop,

money, kitchen. That's 27 points. Get the phone. Yeah, phone. I don't see a lot of value in a once a week one... You're not going to want to talk to your wife or children ever again. It's not a once a week it's one day a week so if you want you can spend that whole day on the phone with your family

i miss this one the full model train set yeah that's really not bad uh see interesting because i find the full model train set complete with warehouse size room to build it to be roughly parallel almost as good as the workshop and industrial tools and drawing table and supplies. Like they're the same category but at one third the points. I also didn't notice the full warehouse thing and so part of that is like buying the space I think

feel like a bigger area. I still would rather have the garden than that. Like feeling like there's life around you and you're having a direct impact on something or give you something to do. I didn't see the see the garden where is that it's in the bottom left next to the hd camera oh okay yeah i just feel like barry bond should be like three points seven points just a human contact is worth something the the audience can't see the bottom row if you're just looking for human contact then just get the doctor for two points

or three points. Yeah, you just have like Munchhausen's and so you're sick every day. You just make good friends with, you know, whatever the Indian guy's name is. The garden with greenhouse is the same price as the skylight, so I would never get the skylight.

Yeah, I mean, you could also grow food and shit. See, I didn't even pay attention that it had a greenhouse, because I was thinking they were a one-two punch, that if you were going to have the garden, you needed the skylight. All right, well, then I'll get rid of the skylight, and I'll have... well, fuck. Yeah. Okay, I guess I'll take that model train set and eat my words i really like the workshop i feel like it has endless possibilities i don't know that i can entertain myself with 10 years for like really a pool table would be so depressing to play by yourself for 10 years i'm not disagreeing with your workshop idea but just curious name what

name a thing that you'd do. With the workshop and industrial tools? See, here's the thing. What I would do and what I would aspire to do might be different things, right? I would hope that if I had this – did it say something about drawing tools and supplies? I assume they feed me all the things I want. Do you want to build a Sterling engine, however the frick that works? Yeah. You know? You've got everything. Start

milling it out. Teach yourself to be a metalsmith or whatever. What would I build? I don't know. First thing, I'm going to build an anvil somehow. I don't know how. Next thing, I'm going to start crafting knives and step my way up to building... You can learn to blacksmith or something. Something I didn't consider. When you have your one-two punch of the the big warehouse for the trains and the workshop you now

have a big area to build stuff if you don't want to like you just want to keep the trains to a side thing you could build a whole you know the workshop i assume is i don't know i just had this idea that the workshop was your dream workshop. Whatever you need. I think the gym is a huge waste of points. Oh, hell no, dude. You're going to need to get all that angst out. What I learned from watching prison documentaries is that the gym is very popular

with people in this situation. No, you're going to want to use... But it's a lot of points, right? How many points? It's only, I think, five. No, six. You have the 18-year-old. It's five. All of us opted away have the 18-year-old. It's five. It's five points. All of us opted away from the 18-year-old now.

You could just do body weight exercises and maybe utilize some of the furniture or some of the kitchen supplies. All you need is a mop handle and some buckets on each end or something. Figure something out and save those five points. Day one of 10 years, I can bench press the mop handle with buckets of water. Where do I get my gains from here? How big do you want to get? Start lifting the fridge. That's part of the reason I picked drugs.

That includes steroids. Which means I can spend 10 years getting just gross yoked. Like to the point that I'll come out and people will be sad, like, what have you become? If you could, instead of living that life just go into a a coma and wake up in 10 years would you do that instead hell no no i'd rather live my shitty prison life okay watching uh man i guess my entire setup the only entertainment i have

is the tv the tv the gym and the kitchen that That TV's not a bad deal, though, since it comes with the premium channels, because you get Game of Thrones and the whole HBO lineup, I would assume. If you've got HBO, you've got access to all their content. You know, just all the movie channels, right? Maybe I'll get rid of drugs for five points. And get rid of... I think I've done pretty well here.

I think if I get rid of drugs for five and get rid of Skylight for two, I have seven. Then I can get books and hygiene. It'll force you to learn. With $20 million. That's your goal? Yeah.

The money up front thing is... I also feel like this was all a subtle ad for Chick-fil-A as they specifically are very specific about Chick-fil-A as an extra fast food. That would be funny if the expert chef was like, Top chef at Chick-fil-A, come to your home. This episode's sponsored by... Yeah, for $20 million, people give up 10 years of their life for less.

Yeah, 100%. It would be an interesting scenario. Man, I want the girl. Do any of you want to have any temptation taking the books? Because think of how much you could learn in 10 years if your entertainment is limited to TV and books.

If that's your goal, take the internet. Books force you to learn more than the internet when reading on a single topic. You don't click away. All the video games that have been released. I mean, you could do a little trickery there and you could get some bonus material.

Take the phone and then just call someone who you're paying to read books to you. One day a week. Right. How much reading are you going to be doing? Come on. Taylor's a reader.

Are you still a reader, Taylor? Can you read? Not as much. You know, at a fourth grade level. I almost feel like if you just sat there and read for years. Yeah, I don't read as much as I used to, but I still do. You'd be like fucking like a crazy like old philosopher by the end. Like thinking the world was like a triangle or

something it would be easy to get into your own conspiracy theories or something where by the end of it i'm like i have done it the denver airport is satanic 10 years just pissed away but yeah i still read uh not as much as i used to admittedly i read something another book recently about uh the fall of rome that was really interesting i've read a couple books on that i don't know why that's so fascinating like i guess because of like the same reason that like when you read history books you always assume people knew when their civilization was falling but like thinking about it more it's like oh people had no idea like the common people they didn't think like, oh, it's crashing down. It's going to end soon. Even a lot of the elites didn't.

It's not in the best interest of people who are ruling to cause panic and let the entire society know. That's true. You've got to do all you can until it actually does collapse. Josh, do you have another mic you can give a try? Yes, I will gladly go change it. Let me do an advertisement

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That's squarespace.com slash pka. Begin the next move in your career today with Squarespace. Yeah. Check them out. If you need a website, that's how you do it I'm looking at this how privileged are you one so privileged

it's annoying I don't believe in privilege the whole idea of it but we are super privileged like pretty much just real privileged. I'm getting a lot of greens in a lot of these. The money one has a gap.

It doesn't even. That one's messed up. I didn't add them up, but yeah. Also, like attractiveness. Huh. Do I go with attractive face or overweight? Because I could make an argument for either one.

Size, probably normal. I think six foot technically is above average, but I think size is normal. God damn, if you're blind, it's negative 750. It's only plus 50 for making a million dollars a year that doesn't say a million oh

it doesn't say yearly i thought it did no that says a billion oh a billion okay the green lettering is kind of hard to see yeah the one below it rich is a million but it's funny because it's fucked up right because first of all there is no spot for between a quarter million a year and a million a year that just that whole category doesn't exist yeah second it goes from a million dollars a year to a billion dollars net worth yeah this is a silly chart this is a silly chart i've i've had enough of it also i'm not sure if i'm able-bodied or social autism. Probably able-bodied. Slow your roll there. Yeah. The truth is I get along well with people. I don't actually have social

autism. They just make fun of me on the internet. I don't understand. The male privilege thing, I have a hard time buying into that. There's a female privilege that exists out there. There absolutely is. I'm not opening that can of worms. I think there's a lot of things they've got in here that are yellow and red,

but you've got more privilege if you're part of them. Oh, are you doing the privilege thing? Yeah, we're just criticizing it mostly. We're agreeing that it's bullshit. You know what? Oh, I think this was made tongue-in-cheek because the difference between being a male and a female is 75 points of privilege.

The difference between being a poor person making less than $30,000 a year and a plutocrat making greater than a billion dollars a year is only 75 points. Oh, net worth. Okay, well, either way. Taylor, you expect me to get by on a billion dollars forever? I didn't look that much in depth into it. That's so funny that it minus 200 points if you're retarded. 750 for blind I'd rather be blind than retarded

I think it is an easier life I think so too plus 20 I identify as Latino so minus 50 I identify as gay fuck all you a Latino Muslim is what I am who's also retarded. I have an ugly face.

That one's true. You're going to minus 20 on that. Okay. Man, trans, you get minus 500? I like that scientist is minus 15. This is bullshit. Teacher's minus five, but scientist is minus 15 and in technology plus five doesn't matter if you're you know the head sysadmin admin of cisco or if you're on the geek

squad it's possible good middle east minus 600 they get 200 more points than africa i don't think that's fair there's lots of rich areas in the Middle East. And Africa's an entire fucking continent. Part of Africa is Middle East, according to me. Like that Egypt thing? That's Middle East. Yeah, you always think of it as Middle East because, like, Arab people live there, for the most part.

Right. It's technically Africa. And South Africa's technically Europe, according to me. I'm gonna restart my thing. Hopefully my camera unfreezes. Here we thought that was a Skype thing. Maybe... It's my camera. I'm going to order a new camera tonight.

It's fucking annoying. It's fucking annoying. I think I'm good. I think I've fixed it. Tap it. Okay. That's the right mic. We'll give it a try. Let me turn my gain up a little bit, actually. You know what the biggest

swing of these two is? I'm sorry, the smallest swing between two very impactful is tall versus short. Being short is only 20 points less than being tall. And you see all those things where it's like tall people more likely to be hired for well-paying jobs. You know, most CEOs average height like like it seems like that should be way

more president obviously we're definitely not in the dating game when's the last time we had a short president like it obama was tall trump is tall w was tall right uh clinton was tall i i james madison was five four he was the shortest shortest benjamin harris 5'6 reagan was six over six foot i think yeah it's i feel like the big thing nowadays is like if if you're over six foot you do better on like like i've heard from a lot of friends that are under under six foot like they've actually i have a friend that's like maybe like five eight like five seven so like not crazy short like semi short for like your average male but like he has the girls come on dates and like as soon as they see how short he is and he's like a pretty decent looking dude but as soon as they see how short he is they're

just out if he's like any kind of close to their height or shorter than them yeah that's the that's the hard thing for guys dating like i really empathize with short guys that's not fair so because like and then like women will put in their uh in their like bios like no one under no one under 510 or something and it's like that dude who's 5'8 has no control over it meanwhile like you're 50 pounds overweight and you're demanding that it's like you have something you can change this poor dude is playing the hand he's fucking dealt like literally like he can wear platform shoes that's about all i can do to really change this yeah the shortest president you know they have fdr rated at six two but really i i have no way

to know no because he was sitting down all the time. That doesn't count. I need a point of reference. Yeah, James Madison, 5'4". There's only 13 presidents shorter than 5'10". I hate this filter. Out of 45? Yeah, that's... Hillary would have been.

Is Hillary? I told she. She wouldn't have been the shortest president. She can't be over 5'10", though. No, no, but is she? She wouldn't have been the shortest president. She can't be over 5'10", though. No, no, but I mean she wouldn't have been the shortest. How tall is Bill? We'll use that as a reference. How did it not just list Hillary Clinton's height?

Are you fucking kidding me? Right? How tall is... Well, we could just ask how tall is... 5'4 1⁄2". Good for you, Hillary. If you ever make it, you're not the last person. Because that is that notorious bitch, John Quincy Adams.

Or James Madison. I don't know. I already forgot. Hey, I have a kind of sort of politics thing that might be interesting. So here's the scoop. Let me get the race right. uh let me get the race right the gop governor ratified a democratic victory but he scrawled election stolen on the like certificate that he signed and he wasn't like crazy to do so i'll explain um i just want to get what what they want I think it's House of Rep. What state is this? All right, so this is a, I think it's a federal level house in Maine.

All right, so let me lay it out there. Normally when you vote, it's real simple. You vote for your favorite candidate and then the candidate who gets the most votes wins. It's called first past the post, right? But there's another kind of voting that I guess they do in maine and what it is is you can have ranked choices so you vote for your first choice you vote for your

second choice and then if your first choice is like not competitive like they're not in it then those votes go towards your second and here's the reason why you might do that. That's a weird system. Right. Well, let me lay out the logic behind it. Like, let's say, hypothetically, that Kyle Taylor and me were running for office, right? I think I would win every time. And the reason is, Kyle and Taylor would split the red votes.

Let's each get 25%. And I would get 50, right? So it would be an easy victory for me. But if they could use the main voting system they might be able to say kyle's their first choice taylor's their second and if taylor ends up getting 30 to kyle's 20 then they could get all 50 you know does that make sense they take your second choice vote and use and apply it to that guy okay are we all on the same page there other states do that or is it just main because that's very odd yeah it's a little complicated right to to explain how and when

your second choice might get it but it's nice because then like if a guy like ralph nader runs you could vote for him without throwing away your vote knowing that it's going to go to hillary or whatever who the fuck you know is going to get the most votes right who's similar to that guy whereas otherwise nader's just a spoiler that makes al gore lose the uh florida election and therefore the whole thing so it actually makes sense for third party candidates then so what happened was the republican in maine got the most votes but the democrat won the the contest because he was splitting it and the second, you know, the people's second choice, you know, won the thing. And I was wondering how you guys felt about this. Well, that's not stolen. He won by the rules. Right. Maybe you could say,

oh, this is a shitty system of rules, but he won fair and square, right? That is true. Yeah, yeah, that is true. They have a picture of the election certificate right here, and I'm circling it for the people watching. This is where he wrote stolen election next to his name. So he kind of protested the way that they ran it, but that's the way. But he knew going in that that's how Maine did it. Right.

Well, right. And just the person who wrote stolen election was the outgoing governor. He didn't lose. He just felt like the wrong person won, if that makes sense. He won by that same system then, didn't he?

Oh no, because he's the governor? He's the governor. He wasn't running for this position. This is about the house race. I don't know, but didn't that governor become a governor via that same system? I actually don't know how they do that. I don't know that for certain.

Yeah. How they choose the governance. That would be ironic if that were the case. Yeah, yeah. That would be funny if he went through the same loophole, if you call it that. Yeah, no, no. It's the same system.

It's just a little different. Yeah, I think... So CPG Gray has done a few videos on this, and he lays it out really neat. Like, if a mountain lion, a tiger, and a gopher are running, the mountain lion and the tiger split the votes because they're really similar and the gopher crushes them every time but you know they make it 30 30 40 right so really it's the cat that people want but they're losing because they're running against each other and uh this solves

that problem that's why we need like a cat party, gopher party, and dog party. Is there ever going to be a third party in this country or is that just, you know, like, no fucking chance? If we do this, right? If we make it so that you can choose more than one candidate

and your second choice wins, then you can vote for a third party. As it is, the third party just ruins whoever they're close to, whoever they're closest to. Whoever they're closest to. Just drags down whoever's in the bottom basically. No, it doesn't necessarily drag down

who's in the bottom. And traditionally, it helps the conservative because it seems to me that most third party, if you're going to be a third party guy, it's rare that they're like a further right candidate. Sometimes they're a much further left right candidate sometimes they're a much further left candidate and sometimes they're kind of right in the middle but some of their uh some of their

beliefs or ideals lean more left like green and libertarian it's like libertarian siphons more from the right wing green siphons more from the left wing i actually but it does seem like it's the people on the right that i'm sorry the people on the left that really give those third parties more votes. Yeah. Libertarians siphon 1% and fucking Ralph DeSantis siphons 15%. Have you watched the Libertarian people, their speeches and stuff at their rallies? Some of the shit is so goddamn retarded. I think it was someone up there.

It may have even been johnson like they're they're big guy and i think he answered a question someone was like would you continue to implement the illegal profiling of all citizens through uh requiring a driver's license and he was like yeah we need to have ids and licenses and like a bunch of libertarians like fuck you you don't need a license to vote you don't need a license to have a gun you don't need a license to drive you don't need a license for boot like they don't like some of them are so extreme like so like don't tread on me style people that it's like they don't want to have a license for any government issue issued anything they lost me

on the epa one right so here's a little background information here in my little section of the country we have problems with duke energy that's our energy company and they're always dumping like i don't know a million cubic yards of coal ash into the local river and then there's like you know forced to clean it up and then the Republicans get in charge and they say, oh, never mind, never mind. You can just fucking dump it. This happens on and on and on. So what is the libertarian solution to this?

Well, there's no more EPA. That is gone. But if you're harmed by a coal company or something like that, then you're free to sue them. Taylor against Duke Energy. And then you can have your day in court and see how that goes. And it's like, what?

No. Like, it would take... Some of those libertarian arguments are so silly where it's like, oh, you're being censored by Twitter and an ISP and a payment processing system. Well, why don't you make your own PayPal ISP and YouTube and Twitter, idiot? And it's like, well, I fucking can't.

I can't do yes i can't do these things oh you'll make your own power company it's like get this it's a fantasy way yeah it's like there's 50 of ideas like on that side that are founded like and then there's like that are like way too much assumed responsibility i lost a little bit can you say it again i'm sorry about that huh um i feel like like 50 of it is like people like assuming zero like personal responsibility and just like assuming that some like overwhelming force should like rule everything and then like the other like libertarian side is like it's just almost like too much responsibility.

They're like, you can do literally everything, right? You can become PayPal if you just snap your fingers. They go too far. Yeah. And some of them are against the police and things like that, where they'll be like, well, all that has to happen is the society can abide by a non-aggression principle, which means that everyone agrees to not fuck with other people because you can't use the state as a big arm to do this.

And it's like, that's a good idea. Like name, like try and name a thousand times throughout history that a rich person in an, you know, anarchistic area use their private wealth to hire and fund an army. That's never happened.

That's the system of government we use in Africa. No, you're just going to have... The warlord system. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. The chieftain approach to society. You're honestly selling me on this, Taylor. The more you...

Can we get rid of the firemen as well? Man, the more you make fun of these libertarians, the more I'm sold. I'm tired. They pat themselves on the back so much. Come on. He's not wrong on that one. How do you tell if a guy's a fireman?

Don't worry, he'll tell you. I mean, my gosh. Something about firemen. My father-in-law was a fireman. You fight fires, not Al-Qaeda, okay? Calm down. Well, but they also fought the fires started by Al-Qaeda.

Or Saudi Arabia. I had a couple jokes rushed in my head on that one, and I kept them inside. See? Social autism, not that true. I censored that one. You had a feel for the job market way before. I was too

young. I was still a kid when 9-11 happened. But I feel like the cool rating of firefighter after the first responder stuff just skyrocketed as a job. So firemen became national heroes, right? People in Ohio were getting thanked for their service. They also do important – I also didn't know that firefighters all trained paramedics and they do save a lot of people's lives. That's what they mostly do. Yeah, they're mostly EMTs. The fire is a side gig almost.

My father-in-law was a fireman, and he never really played up the hero part of it. It was just his job, and he freely admitted the massive amounts of free time they get. Like, I don't know if you know. Like, in some places, I forget. It was Texas just recently. They work 24 hours in a row. And then they're good for, like, five days off. I'm like, what?

I'm like, how could you work 24 hours in a day? I'm talking to my father-in-law. Wouldn't you just sleep the whole time? We do anyway, Woody. You're adorable. Yeah. He was good at cooking because that's what they did at the firehouse.

They just cook all the time. And you'd think like, oh, but they're maintaining the equipment. Well, you know, keeping a fire truck polished is only so much work. I think I want to be a fireman. Oh, if I had to pick between being a cop or a firefighter firefighter for sure nobody nobody hates firefighters nobody's like you know you know

what the government we just did up yeah we're hung in cheek but like nobody actually dislikes firefighters whereas cops tons of people hate cops that There are songs about hating cops. One of them made the top 40. This is Lil Punk's new song, Fuck a Cop and Kill His Wife. That happens all the time. On the track three on the Eat Shit Popo, Murder You, I Know Where I'm going to murder you. I know where your kids go to school.

LP. It's non-stop. Everyone loves firemen. They're actually ENTs. They do hero shit. The firemen who are putting out fires, we love. But the firemen who drive around with the fireman sticker on their truck,

we're just annoyed with. I don't even know. People drive around with fireman stickers on their truck. That's not a thing in my area. Yeah, the volunteer. The worst kind of fireman is the volunteer fireman.

They have t-shirts and stickers. They're just in it for the t-shirts, though. They want 10 years from now to be able to wear an old, worn-down, holy rescue shirt in the back. They want to be able to get pussy, but not have to put out fire. Exactly.

Not sure what you did to your mic, but it's in effect. Yeah, it's not the microphone at all. It's definitely an internet issue, I think. I wonder if it's a Discord thing where Skype would handle it and it would robot it and Discord silences him. I don't know. I've never seen that.

Okay. I've never experienced that with Discord. 99% of my Discord experiences have been 100% positive. What's the best occupation for getting pussy and you can't say something famous like rock star i was gonna say race car driver yeah like nothing like famous nothing that puts you in an echelon above i don't know if i agree with this but the first one that popped in my head was airline pilot or military jet pilot type dude uh doctor i think is very good um yeah

i think doctor is an excellent one. That was a dumb question. All right. The thing about doctor is it doesn't lead to being attractive. I think physical training, like a personal trainer. You could argue that any profession that makes a lot of money makes you attractive, maybe. But when I think of doctor, I think of someone with no time for the gym. And on the opposite end of the spectrum i think that a personal trainer like one of these guys who who you could put on the cover of men's fitness

and maybe he has been like that guy has got it going on i think social media star i think women prefer and and what kind of women prefers which right like like i have another one personal trainers don't make money usually Yeah, I think social media star is a hugely... That's a level of celebrity. It is, god damn it. You can't have any celebrity shit because that gives you special access. I think the best answer so far is

doctor. Actually, not even doctor. Personal trainer might be better because the question wasn't how do you get in the most relationships? It was how do you get the most fucking in? And if you're Mr. Shredded, they're not going to be like, your income isn't as high as I'd want. They'd be like, holy shit, look at those abs. Okay, fair point. But that's why

I went fighter jock on the military thing. Because they're going to be... They're going to be hot, and they're going to maybe have a costume to wear. Costume to wear. I think personal trainers make a good bit of money. It's not a uniform, it's a costume. Yeah, I was being an asshole.

If you're a successful professional trainer, you're making pretty fucking good money. You're making six figures. Really? I'm Googling that. Yeah, for sure. Those guys are getting like $100 an hour. I bet it depends if you're like

a guy at a gym doing personal training or if you own your own thing and you've got five personal trainers under you at your i don't know google says they make 53 323 a year that's actually average though right like what's the but but we're talking about a high end a successful it does say average yeah i don't know if you sell your time for money there's a cap on how much you can earn there absolutely is until you start getting classes together, right? You start opening up your own gym where you've got like 30... Oh, what if you're a male yoga instructor?

You think those guys are laying it down? Another site says they make $9.39 a week. That's very close to $50 yeah i don't know i think you're successful you're bringing it in i'd like to i wish i wonder what as a baseline i'd like to know what drew is making you know the uh wings uh buddy uh i'd like to know what he's making i he's he's had a few issues right wasn't he he had i think he got fired because he was fucking one of his uh his students there at the gym that is a positive a powerful argument for the get pussy job yeah yeah i i i think so um i think jobs that either have that come along

that come with authority and respect, a good physique, or a high income. That's your trifecta for pussy. And if you find a job that, where that Venn diagram overlaps on all three, you've nailed it. Yeah.

Where you're in shape, you got respected and powerful. Yeah. Dead power. Paul Ryan. I was about to say! Paul Ryan's jacked. Is he in good shape? He's in good shape now.

He did a thing, like a layout for Men's Health Magazine or something when he was a vice presidential candidate. For his age group, he's kind of youngish. But for his age group, he was at 1%. He's like your age age isn't he or a little about that yeah he's pretty close to me i mean there would be no better way to look jacked and fit as fuck than to stand next to politicians in this country he's 48 so he's a little older than me yeah but he looks he looks really good for 48. Mitt Romney's 71? Holy shit.

He looks great for 71. Compare Mitt Romney to Gangster Granny, who's like 67. Jesus Christ, Kyle. You're not wrong. I thought Mitt Romney might run for president. Not in 220, in like 224

not anymore I had no idea he was 77 that would put him at 77 that's pretty old yeah but he's Mormon that clean living is going to add up to a long life Trump lives clean

I feel like that's more stress though no he doesn't you can't be like oh I don't drink beer or do drugs as you like to a long life. Trump lives clean. I feel like that's more stress, though. That's true. Okay, no, he doesn't. You can't be like, oh, I don't drink beer or do drugs as you dig into some Mickey D's. You're like, oh, I'm clean living. It's like, no, you're not.

You just replaced all those other things. Yeah, yeah, you just have a different addiction. He also never depletes. That's the thing I defended him on, because I'm like, I've gone through phases where I drink a wildly inappropriate amount of Diet Dr. Pepper.

him on because i'm like i've gone through phases where i drink and a wildly inappropriate amount of diet dr pepper like uh he also doesn't deplete his uh inner battery by exercising so you gotta think think he's staying he's staying at like 95 charge throughout the day he's you ever lifted away once it was fucking terrible i was exhausted sore there's no need for that i was bored rich i'm staying rich i get a lot of pussy wouldn't you like to get the inside scoop on that guy? I find him to be fascinating, obviously. This is Trump. Yeah, Trump. I'd like to know the nitty-gritty, dirty details. I think he's on methamphetamines.

I think he's been on them since... Not meth. Methamphetamines. He's too fat. That's my good point. He's eating his way through the amphetamines how he's too he's too fat that's my good point he's eating his way through the amphetamines dude that would make me respect him more because that is dedication if he's on this much adderall and he's gaining this literally he has gotten fatter throughout this presidency he kind of i think he's tapered out but he's definitely wait i i have to methamphetamines adderall same thing i should have said amphetamine so amphetamines adderall methamphetamines, Adderall, same thing? I should have said amphetamines.

So amphetamines, Adderall is amphetamines with dextro. It's like a secondary thing. So Adderall is like half of meth, basically. Can you tap your mic? Make sure you're using the right one. That's it? Okay, thanks. Yeah.

You could even go back to the other one if you really want to put on a microphone change and show for us. That would be pretty funny like if a video came out of trump crushing up adderall and being like got a big day ahead got a lot of tweeting to do yeah he doesn't does it i bet his voting block of college age kids increase through the roof i bet they're like you know what i could be a a president. Cool fucking dude. I also snort ADD pills that my friends sell me. I want the nitty gritty dirty details. I hope someday we get them the same way we've gotten them

about Kennedy, for example. It's out there that Kennedy only lasted five minutes in bed or something like that. Maybe three minutes or something like that. How do we know that? We know all the women because J. Edgar Hoover was spying on him and had secret files on him and shit.

They had audio recordings. He was gay, so he probably loved spying on him. He was gay and a cross-dresser. J. Edgar Hoover was an evil, evil motherfucker. Have you seen the movie with Leonardo DiCaprio playing him? He was a duplicitous dude.

I don't remember what historical figure in that kind of era spoke about him, but they're like, oh yeah, for many years he was the most powerful man in America. Yeah, absolutely. He had blackmail on anyone and everyone who had any kind of power. He was spying on everybody from Martin Luther King to whoever was president at the time because he was the head of the FBI for decades. Absurd. Absurd.

Yeah. I feel like there's no FBI head. I mean, they definitely have a lot of power nowadays, but it's not intertwined in the actual rich world of things to have as much power as anyone like that. I feel like back in the day, you could sneak a lot more stuff past the goalie of the regulation because there was no internet.

Maybe that's naive of me, but I feel like back then they could eat around more. I don't think that stopped me. What do we do with this file? Burn it? Throw it away, retard? I don't know. Send it to the cloud.

This person's yelling. It's like, well, get rid of him. It's like that John Mulaney joke when they're like, imagine how easy it would be to detective in 1930. They're like, detective, there's blood all over the hallway. It's like, hmm, gross. Clean it up. Like... I showed somebody

the Bert Kreischer thing the other day. The machine story. God, I love that. I love that so much. That's one of my favorite things. You gotta find the right recording of him telling it so that he explains why the Russians liked him so much.

How he was just stealing from every movie that had ever existed because the fucking Soviets didn't have that shit. Really funny shit. I would say he's on my top three comedians. I enjoy him a lot. He's really good. I don't know. Oh, did you see that

Louis C.K.'s new set sort of leaked? Yes! Someone was recording him at the club he was performing at. I actually, I think I am. Yeah, here I am. I have it bookmarked. It was one of my topics for the night.

And I have some of his jokes. I heard it was really funny. They, okay. I'm not Louis C.K. I'm not going to try to be him. But they sound like Louis C.K. jokes. Here it is. I was kind of excited to be in my 50s

and see people in their 20s and be like you're crazy. These kids are nuts. But they're not. They're fucking nah. They're just boring. Fucking telling you you shouldn't say that. What the? What are you? An old lady? What the fuck are you doing? Nah. That's not appropriate.

Fuck you. You're a child. Why aren't you finger fucking each other and doing jello shots? Like, why aren't you? You should address me like they're royalty. They tell you what to call them. You should address me as they, them, because I identify as gender neutral. Oh, okay. You should address me as there, because I identify as a location,

and that location is your mother's cunt. So that's a Louis thing. It's a pretty funny little riff.unt. That's a Louis thing. It's a pretty funny little riff. It's very Louis C.K. humor. It is. So many people now who clearly weren't fans of Louis C.K. If you think people posting articles like, Louis C.K. has gone off the deep end with all right talking points.

It's like, oh, so you didn't listen to Louis C.K. You don't know what you're talking about listen to him on opie and anthony from like 2007 to 2012 he is he says shit that makes what you just said look like something you'd hear at church like he talks about and having his dog lick it off here's the alt-right stuff. He's talking about the Parkland school shooting. And he's like, they testify in front of Congress, these kids. Like, what the fuck? What the fuck are you doing?

You're young. You should be crazy. You should be unhinged. Not in a suit saying, I'm here to tell. Fuck you, he says. You're not interesting because you went to a high school where kids got shot. What does that mean? Why does that mean I have to listen to you?

How does that make you interesting you didn't get shot you just push some fat kid in the way and now i need to listen to you talking oh that's funny it's funny these are good jokes and that's not all right by any stretch these are jokes he's been making for his entire career it's just all these assholes now that once he got big, they expected him to just do, I guess, the kind of comedy that he hadn't been doing his whole career and do stuff he likes. Yeah, it's like he's been wildly offensive his whole career.

So I don't know. When I see these articles written about it, it's very indicative that people have no idea his style. It's the emotional bank account thing, right? He's been, to me, especially the second batch with the then kids should be finger fucking each other that is what louis ck has been doing since i first heard about louis ck the parkland thing is a little more pointed at individuals than like a group than i'm used to

him doing well i agree though he's been on opie and anthony talking to patricia neil the now dead god rest in black comedian they're talking about racial slurs because uh louis had revealed he's part mexican and uh louis goes he didn't say n word he said the word but he goes hey you know how they invented the uh the n word and she's like nah he's like some black guy was acting like an n word that was that was hit that's louis ck from like 2007 and but he wasn't big and so nobody goes to those clips he has because i've listened to so much with him because he was like a ton more hair like i've listened to so much ona there's old clips like seeing these jokes get offended it's like oh my god you have no idea the stuff he said that you would hate it's the emotional bank out right at this point if he doesn't go up there with a Seinfeld routine,

then people are going to be mad at him. They might be mad at him for that. Just for daring to try to come back. That side of the world and that group of people are going to be mad at him no matter what because they've already written him off no matter what he does or says or how he acts. They've written him

off in their head. Their mind's made up. I hope he made jokes. I haven't listened to this set. I basically heard what you just read off there, Woody. That and maybe one other joke. How did I do? Did I deliver well? You did pretty good. I did my best. I give it three stars out of four.

But I wonder if there's any jokes in there about the masturbation stuff. I hope there is. I hope you get – I want him to come out and be like, ah, I noticed the front row's all got that Gallagher cellophane over them. You're afraid I'm going to blow a load all over you as my opening act. First three rows may get wet. He should have came out with something like that, like his first act back.

Because I definitely don't think – Well, not back. That's a thing, right?'t think he's really not. Well, he's done a couple live shows and stuff, and I think that not recognizing it at all is almost a little bit weird. I think that as a comedian,

he should at least try to make some kind of joke of light of the situation, and I think that it would diffuse a lot of that hate a lot quicker yeah just like opened up with some like ridiculous joke just demeaning himself like he always does and exactly make some joke like that and he may do that like i think the live the live shows are all about polishing up a special right and then at some point next year i'm sure we're gonna get a louis ck special and

and whoever buys the usc the louis ck special whether it's i doubt it'll be netflix but but whoever puts it on hbo or hulu or wherever it goes like hats off to them for for for not bowing down to a small percentage of people who are slinging hate his way and painting him with the same brush as the weinsteins and cosbys right and and honestly it might even be netflix because netflix has picked up specials and stuff with people who have slight controversies like i don't think netflix is that is that like sheltered themselves to i don't know like like some i i don't know i would i wouldn't be surprised i I love Netflix for a lot of reasons, but some of the stuff they do is very upsetting.

I bet he goes back to what he did years ago, where he just releases it online to his audience directly. And is like, hey, please pay me $5. It's honor system of course, but please, I worked hard on this, do that. I would imagine him going back to that. Yeah, you're right.

I feel like we're witnessing a fork in the road for CK. I haven't listened to the... The only jokes I've heard are the ones you read, Woody. But I feel like we're watching him realize, okay, I could totally change my style of comedy, double down, apologize, and everyone will hate me anyway. All the people that hate me, hate me. And now all my fans who liked my funny stuff won't like me either or i can double down on all this and go with the

kind of comedy that got me big initially because i know those people are still out there i think to me what he's doing is well i'm gonna be me because that's the only person i know how to be i think it's been long enough and it seems like like it hasn't. And I think that's where we are. Well, I don't think there's ever, I don't, especially in this day and age, think there's ever going to be a time that's like, right. I think they're just going to continue this on and drag this out as long as possible.

Shucks, has anyone else come back and we said Mel Gibson? Alec Baldwin come back a couple of times? Mel Gibson had a shitty voicemail and acted like a drunk maniac. Don't forget about when he got pulled over by the police officer

and he made the sexist and anti-Semitic remarks. Yeah, you're not giving Mel Gibson enough credit, Taylor. See, that was what actually did it. No one cared that he called his wife a cunt and said that he hoped she got raped by a gang of N-words. They hated him. They didn't care about that.

Believe it or not, many people gave it a thumbs down. A few people were mixed reviews on that. The married ones were okay with it. We get it. But there was a certain group of people who really did not like the anti-Semitic things that he said.

The black people. No. And the sexist things that he said. And that is why he spent 10 years doing nothing. He made this movie right after all that shit happened called... Fuck, what was it? Here's the plot of the movie. doing nothing. He made this movie right after all that shit happened called

fuck, what was it? Here's the plot of the movie. He's got a beaver puppet on his hand. He plays a man who's had a mental breakdown and he's communicating through the beaver puppet. It was called My Beaver or something ridiculous like that.

It went nowhere. It was like the people people the powers that be had so much power they were like no it won't be in anything not like like every time he came up with an idea like they wouldn't let him no one would produce his movies he was gonna have to like self-fund anything he did seemingly but now he's back right he's doing huge movies he's he's back in in the good graces of everyone after almost exactly 10 years of being away. So you guys have been mildly robot-y for me? I'm going to leave the call and come right back and see if that makes a difference.

Okay. For sure. Shit. Okay. We'll see if that helps. Yeah, I feel like the the turnaround time though like is getting longer and longer and longer and that's especially seen by going back to like people getting 10 year tweets or like tweets they tweeted in fucking 2007 like brought back up like i feel like the time is getting longer and longer as the time of you saying stuff is like being brought back. It should be based on the offense,

right? If in 2007 you violently raped someone, I'm still holding you responsible for that. Right. Right. Right. If in 2007 you made an off color joke, then maybe let that go.

Right. Especially because honestly, most, the reason that most like celebrities or people in like public media or anything, like we all have a scope of what we say and like how it reaches people. But if you're just, you know, some random person like tweeting to your 12 friends, like you might literally just be making some inside joke to 12 people that are seeing your tweets, like not even really meaning what you're saying. And I'm sure if I went back and found something from me being a fucking 13 year old on Twitter, because I had access to Twitter as a 13 year old,

which is ridiculous. Like I'm sure I would say some ridiculous shit, but like you take that back even farther. And there's kids that are like eight that are now tweeting, you know, PewDiePie three times a day. And it's like a bunch of ridiculous shit. So who knows in 10 years when that comes up for them,

like how bad that's going to be. That's bad parenting. It's what that is. Like I used to think it was bad parenting when we would play like modern warfare too. And we would hear like tiny children in there because I knew what a lobby was like, right?

Like the kinds of things that people would say to each other. I was playing rust today and there was a child was like, right? The kinds of things that people would say to each other. I was playing Rust today and there was a child in there. A child. A literal 10-year-old squeaky child. Was he impressed with the size of your cock in game? That's the first thing I was going to go

to. Nice dick, homo! I was like, dude, did your parents at least click the button that censors the the vaginas and the penises so you know your mom said it was fine when i was fucking her last night shit like and it's it's it's a rough game people are mean people are more ruthless and rust than than any other game i've ever played in my life because it's it's oh it's so much more ruthless than call of duty People make friends in

Call of Duty. Nobody ever made a friend in Rust. You make enemies in Rust. We hate our neighbors. We literally hate them. We literally hate them. We just hate them. They built a god

damned ladder up the side of our base. We didn't know you could do that. They jump in the top of the base and our base was like this spiral staircase that goes down and there's a door every level that only we can lock. And blowing up a door in this game, you might as well go to the moon.

You gotta have some serious assets to make that happen. They kill us, but we respawn in our secret spawn point outside the base. but we respawn in our secret spawn point outside the base. We keep going in the bottom of our own base and going up levels and trying to stop them at level 3, at level

2, at level 1, and they just keep killing us. By the time they get to level 1, they have access to everything. When we finally get back, they've cleared the place out of everything valuable and destroyed or allowed to despawn anything that they couldn't carry away in minecraft what you would do just as a building tip i don't know if it fits rust you build a safe room in your base that you respawn in and then

when you respawn in there it has all the equipment you need to come out as a badass. Woody, we do that too. Okay. They got to that room and they cut our sleeping bags up. We had to spawn in our backups. No, that's our spawn point. Now we can't spawn. We wake up in these sleeping bags.

Once they did that, I have a backup sleeping bag in a hidden base 50 yards away that looks like garbage. I come back into there i go back go back to the fight not by this time they've gone so i lock all the doors back up so they can't get back in well while i'm doing all that they go to my backup base over there and blow the walls off of it there's nothing in there but my sleeping bag woody in minecraft there's certain advantages to fighting in your own base like you know you can build you can do this you can do that things that that you can't do as an invader of course so if you respawn and have equipment you should be able to win even if you're not as good but i guess there were more of them

there was only two of us and there was three or four of them, and they did not speak English, but I could tell they were cursing at us in fucking Polish or something like that. And I wish they'd spoken English, because maybe I could have gotten... You got outwitted by a couple Poles. Fucking Polacks! How did you get outwitted by Polish people, Kyle? How many Polacks does it take

to take Kyle's base? Four! It takes four Polacks to take Kyle's base away from him. We're on a new server now. I didn't want to play with those dirty Poles anymore. They must be sorry. We're the assholes now. Huh? I wonder if they know you. No.

You're FPS Kyle in-game, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're Polish. There's no Ys or Xs or Ks. They didn't see me out. There's only Xs and Ks. This game is like one of those scary post-apocalyptic movies where, like, everybody wants your shit really, really badly

because your shit is valuable. And if they kill you, they've just doubled their shit. And if they could ever take your base They they they there's their wealthy now, and so that's what we're going to do now now We have a base now and and and I'm like all right. Here's our list of to do First we build a base we build a base that they can't get into Build walls and then they're like all right. Well. They can't get in now no no now build exterior walls Build walls. And then they're like, all right, well, they can't get in now. No, no. Now build exterior walls.

Well, they can't get in now. Now build traps between those two walls. And so now our base is impenetrable unless they want to waste an enormous amount of resources. An incomprehensible amount of resources it would take. They'd have to work for two weeks, six-man squads, to earn enough materials to get into our base at this point now let's find some people to just to destroy all we're doing now is working to mine sulfur and get bean can grenades so that we can make c4 so that we can blow the doors off of enemy bases and eliminate every neighbor that's in within sight dude there's so there's so much in common with the game that you play

and the game that I used to run. It's hilarious. And the resources it would take, right? So in Minecraft, you can automate, automate, automate. But these things only work if you're there. So we started kicking them off the server if they're not actively playing. So they build perpetual motion machines

that keep their people floating around rivers so then we do a work around on that now all of a sudden they're bouncing around on fence posts or you know whatever the hell it is that they're doing and like you're like oh it takes them weeks to get the resources to invade us dude dude dude they'd be like 120 walls thick on our server and they would spend weeks building resources to do it. That's the whole point of the game. They just played 24 hours a day for six months. And they'd raid each other.

And like you said, dude, if I get into your base, the rewards are great. They become so rich in the process of getting ready to invade you. A lot of the purpose is just so that you know you got raided. Yeah, like a legitimate raid is a serious thing like like there are like little raids for somebody just coming and fucking with you and they're just shooting you when you come out of your house and you lose what's on you that's just annoyances but if somebody is actually has c4 and and like grenade launch or rocket launchers then they have spent some time to get this shit. A lot. A lot of time.

A hundred hours per man. And there's six men. They've spent a lot of fucking time. So if they're using that on you, you know they mean business. They're not going to just leave. They're here to fuck you up. And you can't get off. You've got to keep defending it. You've got to keep repairing shit and building walls

and trying to shoot them and take some of their... If you could ever kill them all and take all their C4 away from them, then the tables have turned. Yeah, there's a lot in common between that and action. It's a lot of fun. People would have special skill sets. Like, raiding took an engineering

level knowledge of circuitry to build these cannons that would launch things. And being able to diagnose it and see what's – it was something else. And other people might be PVP experts. You need them too. There are people who make trap bases. Was that ever a thing in Minecraft? What's a trap base?

Essentially, it looks like a regular base. But there's a lot of ways to do a trap base but one of the most common ones is that it appears vulnerable the door is left open or maybe oh there is no door and but when you walk in maybe there's an automated shotgun that insta kills you or maybe you are literally trapped in a room with a glass window in it and a guy comes on the other side and he goes hey there buddy how you doing oh yeah door and he'll torture them like he'll find a way to torture them like he'll find a creative way to kill them or he'll he'll like make fun of them and he'll be like all right take all your clothes off we did that so we we would build our base in

a spot where you couldn't build a base because we're admins, right? And it was right outside spawn, so it was really like everyone could find it and see it. It was almost like a server feature. And then the front door was a trap. You'd walk in there, and pistons would start automatically smashing you, and then the water would harvest all your armor and put it in our chests. And, you know, it was so Minecraft-y. But it turns out that just the presence of doors and walls, people could glitch and bad things would happen.

And a lot of, you would build your base in a way to resist glitches. And it just turned out the traps were a vulnerability. Yeah, there are YouTubers who really kind of specialize in that, creating these very difficult-to-build trap bases. Electricity, I think, again, I'm a Rust noob, but I think electricity is kind of a newish thing to that game, and so they've added in ways to wire up laser tripwires and all these switches and stuff,

and so the guys who really invested time to learn how to wire all that shit up and then hide the wiring with buildings, they have these rooms where there are stores in game where a guy will set up a store right where he has like you know at the scary gas stations how you like put your money in this lot and like send it over and he sends over your snickers um they have a system like that in game you can build that so that and people will be like hey i'm selling sulfur i you know 500 sulfur for 10 000

wood or whatever the fuck you're doing and and like they'll come up and you'll you'll swap goods at one of these windows well this guy sets up his store and as soon as you walk in he goes click clink and a garage door just closes behind you and he's like well wait a minute i was here to buy the jackhammer you You're like, oh. Thanks for closing the door. There's scary guys out there. They want to kill me. Do you have that jackhammer?

He's like, yeah, yeah. Let me just open the door. And he pulls another switch and a different garage door opens up with three automatic shotguns behind it. And then he just goes in and takes all of this guy's loot. And he's just farming all day, of course, until you piss off the wrong person who has friends. And then they all come back,

and they start blowing your shit up. That's like a group. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's awesome. Sounds like a fun game. Fun stuff. Dude, I have a topic. So you guys, I'm sure everyone here knows Ninja.

He's the biggest streamer in the world right now. He's making half a million dollars a month. Wowzers. More than that. Reddit fusses at him now. I don't know if you guys have noticed this, but Reddit seems to have a thing out for him. As far as I understand, I might be out of touch,

but it's all based on one time he reported a guy for cheating who might not have been cheating, or stream sniping who might not have been stream sniping. Josh, part of it, fill me in. What am I missing? Okay, so Reddit, it's one of those things where, like, as soon as Ninja got to the top and got to, like, the most streamed person, like, it was the PewDiePie thing where people hated him to hate him just because they could. And he was, like, the biggest streamer. And then, like, they also kind of started to, like, micro, like, picket things that he was like the biggest streamer um and then like they also kind of started to like

micro like picket things that he was doing and like he definitely did get like a seed of arrogance and like he got like a little bit like he would get pissy and be like oh i'm the best like on stream but like look at how hard the kid's working like he's not really someone who downplays the work he's doing like he's like yeah i'm working my ass off i'm making a lot of money like i deserve to make gigs i'm working this hard basically and i think that hits buttons on a lot of people of like fuck you you don't fucking deserve anything you fucking asshole if you make a lot of money you'd be an unusual guy not to get a seat of arrogance over it. You start to think

that you're making it because you are special and not because you're lucky. I can't believe Reddit would get something wrong. Do you remember when the Boston Bomber thing happened? There's a video. Yeah, I do. Do you guys remember when the Boston Bomber thing happened and a giant

Reddit thread came up and a ton of people were convinced like it's this guy it's this guy we found him we did it and it was just some poor fucking dude who was not affiliated with it at all like just having his family harassed so pause that at zero for a group launch I gave you guys

the link I've seen this oh this is this is what I was gonna say Ninja has no social skills so he's also pretty cringy that's what i was about to say yeah another reason that people dislike him is because he's pretty cringy like like he'll scream and and be a little over the top and ridiculous he's cringy and he's socially awkward to some extent and he also caters to a very very young audience right so often so if ninja were to tell the story he would say that he does late

night streams for older audiences and some streams for younger and earlier streams for younger audiences but no one makes that like the look at his late night stuff where he drops an f-bomb and say hey you're people that watch her six and there's they're everybody's right but can we watch this yeah so i'm queued up at zero you have to turn I have to turn the sound on manually. I don't know if you do ready set play Oh my God. Not that big. So if you're just watching the video,

he goes up there and he starts flossing in front of a live audience. I have been in almost this exact same situation. Yeah. But I did a smart thing, actually. I asked Kyle for advice. I'm like, kyle i'm about to go on stage i don't really do a thing that translates to stage you know like what am i gonna go up there and ask him for like mail monday topics or something like what do i do so these fucking parkland kids kyle nailed it for me he really helped out he like, this is what you do. Go up there with swag and throw it into the audience.

And I happened to be working with EA at the time, and maybe I had t-shirts, and those fucking jelly bands were popular. And I just had enough things to throw out that the whole time the audience was like, me, me, me. And it was a hit. Everything went fine. I've never understood how to interact with an audience either especially with what i did like a gun

certainly ain't gonna help things they won't stand there doing nothing i'm not seeing enough movement not too much movement too much so so! So I was always in it. I did a thing where we had Razer laptops to give away and shit like that. You go to E3 and you have a fucking Razer Blade laptop. I don't remember what they cost, but

it's over a thousand. Four digits. You go, Who wants a laptop? It's a Razer Blade! And you're already at Razor's booth. So all of those hundreds and hundreds of people they go insane!

Even more than Battlefield 3? Or whatever the hell I was giving away? They were all over it. I don't remember who I was up there with. It was definitely me and Syndicate and might have been Harley? I don't remember. But that crowd was insane. They loved us. We we were giving away we didn't have to say anything i was up there before senators were trying to get everybody super excited this year because they had like the worst off season ever like they're really trying to pump people up because the fan

base was pissed because their owner won't pay for this is the blues i talked over you no the the ottawa senators thank you and they were trying to make it a little fun for one of their games. And so they like, you know how they'll release balls from the top of an arena and they all come showering down. It's like, oh, wow, it's like a concert or something. Well, they put a bunch of big red rubber balls up there. And they're dropping from the top of like a hockey or basketball arena. And they got way too heavy are

these like dodgeball rubber balls like they were way heavier than what's appropriate and so they dropped all these they fell way too quickly and we're just like instead of people like hitting them back and forth there's like like uh there were multiple children injured and it's like that's gonna be the God! And it's like, that's gotta be the worst thing ever. It's like, alright, guys, I know our owner doesn't care, our players hate us. That was the same team that in an Uber ride, like,

a bunch of Ottawa Sounders got on an Uber video, like, just shit-talking the team and shit-talking the owners and everything. Next week, we're giving away those mini baseball bats. Dropping them from the ceiling. That's like the Cincinnati Reds or whoever. No, the Cleveland Indians.

In the 70s or 80s, they had 10-cent beer night. You only had 18 to drink in Cleveland when this was a thing. They had to cancel the game. The fans stormed the field and started fires in the outfield.

Dude, whenever I hear these stories and it's not Philly fans, I feel like they need to step up their game a little. Like, they should have... Philly fans, they're the people who do this stuff. They're the ones who threw batteries at Santa Claus. They threw batteries at Santa Claus. They threw batteries at Santa Claus. Yeah.

You gotta wonder, why did they have so many batteries? At a game! That really drunk guy, if you remember, Kyle, got interviewed after the Indians' 10-cent beer night fiasco thing. He's like, you know, John Sullivan has been a respected member of Cleveland for over 30 years since the incident we spoke to him about what happened that fateful evening he's like i was

just 18 and drunk and people were getting rowdy and i saw the second base and i just had to have it and so i jumped over there and i run and I grabbed the base and then Tim Thompson knocked me over one of the players for the Rangers and he was winding up to hit me and I went, oh, hell. And then other people started jumping out of the stands to come defend me. And that like snaps to the police chief of it. I've watched it so many times. It snaps to the police chief like the 70s he's an old ass like nine year old now he's like so you know we got out our billy clubs and back in those days you had to you had to start swinging like caving people's skulls they were gonna kill the opposing team

they were hiding in the yeah and then like the one rangers player they interview who was the opposing team he's like the only somber one really who's like uh i got hit in the side of the head with a with a piece of glass and thank god the indians players came out there to protect us or i could have gotten a lot and then it was like and the indians lost the game by forfeit but it didn't stop them from retrying 10 cent beer night four weeks later we sold the most beer they'd ever sold oh look up 10 cent beer night you can get the anthony commentary on it it is it is so fucking funny it's great it's it's it's really really good uh taylor linked some things here uh these are so he's got three lists one is

the best movies of 2018 oh that's chiz i won't take his credit. Ah, okay. Chiz did. Oh, okay. My bad. My bad. Chiz. Chiz did this. And then there's also The Ultimate Guide to the biggest movies of 2019. These are movies that are being looked forward to. The most anticipated movies of next year. And then 12 most anticipated

TV shows of next year. Let's do the 2018 movies. I'm excited about this. The movies of 2018 yes indeed the mule do you guys know this movie yeah man that's the new clint eastwood movie where he's where he's smuggling drugs he doesn't look like a drug smuggler exactly yeah exactly dude you should watch the trailer for it's very it's you're you're you're you're instantly afraid for Clint Eastwood being caught smuggling drugs. Really? You're like, a cop pulls him over.

And of course, it's Clint Eastwood. And the cop's like, what you got in the back? And he's like, pecan. I don't remember exactly what he was like. Pecans. My wife loves to make pies with them. She loves her pecan pies. And he's like, yeah, I like pecan pies.

Well, you have a nice taste. And then his drug dog is in the car going, and the dog gets out and starts, and Pliny's just like, that dog likes pecans. That dog sure does like pecans too. Ha ha ha. I feel like if you put dog biscuits on the top,

that might explain some rowdy dog behavior A lot of interesting ones here Mission Impossible Fallout I agree with I watched it and I said it after I watched it Tom Cruise is one crazy motherfucker I can't get on board with all that Scientology nonsense But god damn he's a good actor And he knows how to make a fucking great action movie.

This is like the sixth or seventh of these movies, and they still get better every time. They're great. Lots of real live-action stunt work. Really impressive shit. It was great. It was great. Damn.

There's one on here called A Prayer Before Dawn. I haven't heard i've heard of most of these but it's about thai prisons are best avoided at all costs and john stefan souviar's adaptation of billy moore's autobiography is disturbing proof of that fact it's just a guy one white guy and a bunch of thai guys covered in tattoos and i guess he's trying to survive the movie version of thai oz that interesting. I'm going to give that one a go. The Ballad of Buster Scruggs is 14th on this list. Well, I disregard this.

I'll agree that it was an amazingly well-made movie and it was beautiful to look at. I just didn't care for the subject matter. It left me feeling down. I think you guys lowering my expectations helped me enjoy it. I went into it with, you know, this sucks, but I'm curious.

And I also... Taylor, this sucks, but I'm curious. And like, I also had a, Taylor, this is really a compliment to you because you're a smart guy, but when you think dumb things, I really like it. Like chickens not having sex or like this fully grown man. In the first scene, you meet... I stand by the nest and egg. In the first scene, you meet the main character, and in the second scene, Taylor thought he was also the main character, even though they're different actors and fully grown men. I did too.

Well, I really liked that about you guys. I thought that it was... I was like, they're doing a How I Met Your Mother Ted evolves into Bob Saget. Are you shitting me? you guys i thought that it was i was like they're doing a how i met your mother ted evolves and bob saget are you shitting me like that's that's what a lot that's what everybody i've talked to thought as well like that's because the movie is called the ballad of buster scruggs and so the first guy that shows up is hi i'm buster scruggs the first act should be called the ballad of buster Scruggs! The first act should be called The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, while the movie is called A Bunch of Random Western Shit.

Yeah, thank you. God, I fucking space on this dude's name all the time. What's his fucking name? When James Franco comes on screen, I'm like, ah, okay. Odd casting choice, but this is young Buster Scruggs. We're going to learn how he became the fastest gun in the West. On your screen young Buster Scruggs. We're going to learn how he became the fastest gun in the West

and how he became this. On your screen is Buster Scruggs, everyone. Kyle doesn't know this. So you can imagine when you see James Franco, he's a younger version of him, maybe? Kind of odd casting choice. That's what I was thinking. Bad casting.

Even in seeing it, I was like, it's stupid because he doesn't look like him, but whatever. Number six on the list here, You Were Never Really Here. this movie this is a joaquin phoenix movie where i'll just read it let's see um i'm trying to get the part where they actually lay it out. Okay, here we go. The latest from Scottish. He tracks down a mentally scarred war... Okay, so basically they find Joaquin Phoenix and they get him to rescue a senator's young daughter

from a child prostitution ring. It seems like in the movie that Joaquin Phoenix is like a scarred military vet who has serious mental issues who works for a private investigator as a fixer. And he seems to have a serious soft spot for children who are victims of pedophilia.

And whatever the opposite of a soft spot is for the men who are pedophiles. He has a very particular set of skills you might say he opposite soft spot is a rough patch dude he he is john wick has all this polish and finesse and like and and james bond sort of has this whole like this big plan before he goes in to do a thing joaquin pho Phoenix shows up with a fucking claw hammer and he walks right into the place where the bad things are happening and he walks from

bad man to bad man beating them to death with a claw hammer. He doesn't say a word and he hits them in a realistic manner. The realistic amount of times you would think it would take to kill a grown man with a fucking claw hammer. He doesn't go and walk away.

He starts, he hit the first couple hits. They're still hanging on to him. Right. But then they're on the ground. He doesn't stop then. Cause they're still kind of alive for now is brutal as fuck. And he,

he, as the story goes on, you know, he's, he's trying to rescue this this young girl the story gets bigger and wider and you realize that he's really stepped into a new kind of pile of shit here these are some serious customers that he's messing with but he doesn't care he just keeps going um it don't don't let me paint it as like John Wick movie. It's not all action all the time. There's about four action scenes throughout the movie, and it's maybe 90 minutes long.

There's a lot of rough, sad stuff that goes on. In his private moments, he is damaged and just a really emotionally scarred individual. But he bulked up. And I say bulked because he's not ripped at all. He's not lean. He's just big. He's big, right?

He's just big and scary. I really enjoyed it. I liked it a lot. Did you notice number nine? It's eighth grade. Is that the one that's written, directed by the little girl? Is that the Bo Burnham one? It looks like it's a bo burnham one i've never heard of it before i'm just i'm just going off the title and the picture i always feel like i'm not supposed to watch movies about middle school

kids like it's pedo behavior or something no that one okay so that's that's the movie that i had the same like thing i was like i don't know how this is going to speak to me as an adult, but it's very, very relatable. It's not funny, but Bo Burnham captures real life really well, and the awkwardness of middle school

and how awkward everyone is in that period. So Bo Burnham does a really good job of not making you feel creepy watching it. It's very family friendly. Annihilation is one that I knew was going to be a great movie,

but I've been saving it until I get that 4K TV. Until I get that enormous 4K TV that I've had my eye on for a little while. Because it's so visually crazy. It's a science fiction movie. I just found out Mandy is first on this list.

Vindication. I told you, man. Amazing movie. We weren't trolling you. Yeah, I hated that movie so much. I legit thought it was like Woody you would really love

You know Ernest goes home to mom And like I don't know Ernest movies But Like it's just some Comic

Ernest goes to camp Ernest gets scared stupid Ernest goes to jail Just some comically bad movie Jiggly Really Movie of 2008 What is the

Old school Ben Affleck Jenny from the show Yeah It's like geely okay yeah geely maybe but i to me mandy is right there with like worst movies ever made nah man it's uh it's one of the better movies i've ever seen probably my top 100 it would make my top 100 all-time movies and it was definitely it might have been the best movie i've seen i saw

from 2018 i really like that i i'd have i need to sit down and think about it for a while but off the top of my head it's right there it was so good i like it's like a horror movie it's a oh dude it's check it out okay because you see nicholas cage and you're like uh nicholas cage makes eight terrible movies every fucking year right right? Nicolas Cage almost draws me in, though. Like, that's almost a selling point for me. Nicolas Cage brings back some of that Oscar-winning, hardcore acting for this thing. This thing is psycho.

You, especially, because you smoke. You're going to love this. Dude, get ultra-baked and watch this. I promise you, you're going to be blown the fuck away. It's got, like, that 80s electro the fuck away it's got like the 80s electro music and it's got crazy like color scapes like they really mess with the color palette a lot like lots of bright reds lots of like um like like it'll be in the darkness uh there's a there's a chainsaw fight at night with red lighting everywhere like it's it's mind and the color

palettes are instructive too right they let you know i guess i'll just say there are people in the movie who take mind-altering drugs so the color palette lets you understand that they're being mind altered you know at the moment yeah yeah that's definitely part of it really nice like yeah yeah and and the the subject matter is crazy like like he something horrible happens to him someone he loves gets taken away from him by cultists who have employed

demonic bikers okay and it's not it's more grounded than you've given away the whole movie now you get right into that pretty quick you're gonna love it You've given away the whole movie now. What? You get right into that pretty quick. You're going to love it.

That happens like 50 minutes into the movie. It's crazy. It starts out and everything's all green and beautiful. And by the midpoint of the movie, it's red and screaming. Yeah, it's great, man. It's violent. It's gory. Apparently the number one movie of 2018 although it would literally be the last place movie i've seen in quite some time i've seen none of almost none of the movies on that list i think yeah a lot of them i have not yeah they like

i don't know what this list is about right like if you do best movies of 2018 and infinity war doesn't make top 25 then you're then you're doing a different thing than i am that's this is like you're looking for artsy kind of i was gonna say it's like a hipster artsy like i know what i'm talking about counterpoint yeah touche yeah that's a good point. This Leave No Trace movie was good. It's got, what's his name, Ben something or another. Fuck, I'm bad with Ben Foster. I want to say Ben Foster's like a war veteran who's living on government land,

like public land with his daughter, and they try to take his daughter away from him because he's like, you can't live in the wilderness with your daughter unless you have mining rights, we found out. He does not have those, I guess. I liked a lot of this stuff on this list. Paddington 2 made the list again.

I was informed by a lot of people that Paddington 2 is just incredible and that I need to watch it. So I'm going to have to fucking watch these Paddington movies apparently. I guess it's really good. I don't know. I didn't know about paddington like i i almost have like a bad image of teddy bear movies because of ted and ted 2 like ted was great ted 2 was like it was bad like paddington i have the same same like

airs like same light i just see that as another Ted movie, even though it's like super smart and like supposed to be super cinematic and stuff. Yeah. I got to check them out. I didn't know about Paddington. I guess probably, I probably saw it and thought it was like another children's movie. I didn't realize it was good. Yeah. Yeah. Something like that. I'm looking forward to all these movies that they've got on their,

their list for next year. Well, virtually. I'm looking forward to all these movies that they've got on their list for next year. Well, virtually all. I'm really excited for Glass, the M. Night Shyamalan movie where you're bringing together the characters from Unbreakable with the character from Split and sort of M. Night Shyamalan's superhero universe.

That's going to be fucking cool. Obviously, Captain Marvel to set up Infinity War, the end of that. Shazam, not so much. The Lego movie? Nah, Shazam's a DC. Shazam? Is that who Shaq was

in that 90s movie? Shazam is a DC Oh, that was Kazam! That was such a cool movie. Did you know that all along when you asked that? No. Oh, yeah. No, I jumped in the conversation.

I heard Kyle say Shazam and my mind went to Shaq. Apparently Shazam is like a super powerful Superman kind of guy. Yeah, he's like the DC Superman, but he's actually like... He's magical. Yeah, excuse me. Yeah, of course. Superman's DC. He's like the magical Superman.

It's really a kid. It's like this little kid who's like 12, 13 years old and when he yells, Shazam! He becomes like a grown-ass man. He becomes Superman. Essentially, yeah. You know, he could get away with molesting underage girls by just being

like, Un-Shazam! That's not one of his powers. That's not one of his powers. No, I'm saying if an evil man had the Shazam ability, he could turn into a rapist Shazam, begin raping, and then when he was about to be caught, he could un-Shazam so it was just a mere boy.

I don't think that's how it works. Did you hear about the 13 or 14-year-old being tried as an adult for murder? No, I didn't hear about that. In my mind, i'm interested in your opinions is the exact kind of case where you don't try a child for murder and they were on a highway overpass and they were dropping eggs onto cars as they went by and i want to say he's 13 but he could possibly be 14 and someone died and uh so he is responsible for the death of that person.

But also like a 13 or 14 year old dropping eggs is an idiot and a tragedy happened. But I don't think you try that person as an adult. I agree. They don't have the perspective to understand the ramifications of what they're doing. But a normal teenage kid eggs someone's house. person as an adult i agree they don't have the perspective to understand the ramifications of what they're doing but a normal teenage kid to egg someone's house he doesn't drop eggs under windshields of cars because like there's no possible on a freeway there's no possible like

in game that would end positively like you egg someone's house uh whatever fuck it they're gonna have to like hose some fucking egg off you're applying your fully developed cerebellum to this problem space not a 13 this 13 year old is guilty of being an idiot yeah when i was like eight i actually my friend's mom who drove me and her son my buddy my best friend at the time in grade school home from from school in the minivan they had like one of the early minivans that could actually roll down the windows or no she had a durango purple durango and we roll those down and she would give us pennies and we would throw pennies at other cars like either sitting still or driving and even at the time i'm maybe seven or eight i was like this is inappropriate

like it would like if my dad or mom was in the car like no fucking way i would do that so even kids have a little you know niggling little thought of sure i know this is wrong but they still have a picture of the kid for for no reason in particular uh i believe i i could google it. I think white suburb. What's the kid's name? I would say Alvarez. I have a really hard time. Was it Bryce?

Was that Josh? There's no, the kids had zero thought as to what, like I know kids make stupid mistakes and have stupid thoughts, but like dropping an egg on a car of an overpass no it's not a cinder block but like you know that's gonna blind someone from being able to see their car like that i feel like there's at least gotta be a subtle thought in your head of like i shouldn't be doing it in this context like don't have a picture of a kid they're not identifying them on the cnn article yeah i would still say don't put doing it in this context. Don't have a picture of a kid. They're not identifying them on the CNN article.

I would still say don't put that kid in jail for 30 years or something. Or whatever the sentence would be. Maybe a year or two. A couple years or something. Or a few years in juvie or something. Right, exactly. Until he's 18 to really scare him straight.

Right. Or that might send him down the exact opposite path. Maybe he meets a bunch of other egg huckers and he becomes their king. The egg lord. Yeah, I never did anything this bad, throwing eggs at moving cars on the freeway. You know what I did that was almost as bad?

I've told it before, so just real quick. Someone else started the fire because we were playing war in this field. It had tall grass, like waist-high dry grass. And he started on fire so that he could light a smoke bomb. The wind kept blowing out the match. He told me to put out the fire, and I didn't. Being an idiot, I put my hands together, I rubbed it, and I put it over the fire.

I put my hands together, I rubbed it, and I put it over the fire. And in the, like, I don't know, 15, 30 seconds that I was an asshole, it grew to beyond a stage where you could stomp it out or put it out with our coats. And about five acres burned. So, yeah. Like, there were four alarm fires. Like, fire departments from all over were coming to work on it. And they managed to prevent any good houses from burning down. So, that's good. Only the good ones made it out well i think it was last week or two weeks ago i mentioned that terrible one with the hole in the roof that we entered through that was in

the middle of the fire so uh anyway i don't know that my like enjoy the fire come arson is that much smarter than the egg thrower. I guess it's a little less targeted at humans. But in terms of decision making, same league. Yeah, it's still bad decision making. I think the difference is one of them is a bad decision, but one of them has intent. If you're throwing eggs at cars, it's not just a bad decision. You also have the intentious thought of, I want to go throw eggs at something. Yours was a mistake.

Yours was an accident. Yours was you just not having that forethought or foresight. Whereas the other one, it's malicious and an intent like there's maliciousness at its core okay is it possible that they're throwing exit cars without foresight without like going for murder yeah of course yeah definitely definitely we're trying to murder someone 100 i don't exactly i don't think that 100%. Exactly. I don't think that... It's manslaughter. I don't think that the idea was to make someone crash their car. I agree that it was something that was taken too far,

but I think that at its core, the intent is not... Or negligent. Is it negligent homicide or manslaughter? It's one or the other. I can't tell the difference. I had a friend whose house we would stay over when we were young, and he had an N64, but his idea of like everything fun

was to take one of those elastic water balloon shooters, you know, and go up. There was a giant, like when he turned into his kind of not subdivision, but like a road. So they weren't going like 15, like in a subdivision, people would turn in and be going like 30, 35,

like still like a lined road, but you could hide behind all these trees with this and all he wanted to do was wait until nighttime and then shoot water balloons at the side of cars because it would make an enormous amount of noise when in the dark it hits boom boom any damage because it's a small thing but it would scare the shit out of people. And I was a kid. And at no point was I like, ha-ha, we're going to run them off the road. We were just like, ha-ha.

They didn't expect a water balloon to make a loud noise. So I can understand that. Now that I think about it, I threw snowballs at cars when I lived in New Jersey. Now, I moved out of New Jersey when I was 12. so I must have been like nine. And I don't know what I was thinking. The thought process I recall was these are old

people in cars. They can't catch young studs like me. You're fucking nine! You think Taylor can't catch a nine-year-old? It's so easy. And we got caught every time. The worst kids were always the ones that realized that because they're a kid,

you can't hit them. Like as someone else's parent. So they were smug about it? Yeah, they were like kids when they realized that you couldn't get spanked in grade school. And I was like, oh, My parents won't hit me and you can't either because it's against the rules. That kind of shit. Although my principal did give quite a few kids a walloping

with one of those spanking paddles. Your principal hit kids? I went to a private school. In grade school especially, they basically allowed for paddles and stuff to be used. That was a normal thing for the principal to bust out the paddle. Dude,

there were no now. Okay. Okay. So a kid transferred into our school where they were allowed to beat children with paddles. And he described an honor code where like people would cry. Cause that got beat by the paddle, but no one would give them shit about it.

Cause it could be you or like, like there's like a sort of empathy. Like, yeah, paddling's that's a tough business was that what it was like is like 100 like it there was definitely like a subtle honor code like it you would like it's almost like when your parents like like if your parents were someone that used like belts or anything with you like your mom would spank you and it would not be near as bad as like when your dad would spank you because your mom like just didn't have that same kind of like power. But you would always cry just the same just because you're like, oh, no, I got to make my mom like she like actually spanked me. It was like getting off like easy. I don't think your mom was a very good child beater.

off like easy i don't think your mom was a very good child beater you need to come on over like insulting mom in the middle of spanking because i did that once when i was like and we were talking about like the the body size percentages every time as a kid i would go in like all right taylor is 97 percent in height and actually a hundred percent in weight like i was enormous as a kid throughout the whole time and uh oh fuck i just lost my train of thought your mother hit you but you were large oh yeah and you would try to yeah i was uh i was at my grandparents house one time and i was hanging out like me and my younger brother were doing something in the woods we used to like take sticks and add string and like to get straight arrows like shoot them at each other and stuff and i must have it was just sticks and so i must have caught him somewhere that it hurt him or made him bleed or something and i was getting getting in trouble for like you

should know better taylor like that you shouldn't do this and i remember i was in the bat taking a bath nice relaxing bath and my grandparents bubble bath playing with toys or whatever and like my mom came in after she had like uh seen what i did to my brother on accident on total accident she's like taylor you get out of there i am giving you a spanking and like i get out like trying to put on the whole lordy lordy please don't how old are you at this point uh i'm maybe 10 okay at this point um and so i get out and uh she spanks me i get back in the tub and before she had fully closed the door i like was smugly playing with my like lego ship and i was like that didn't even hurt and she opened it back up and was like what it didn't hurt oh that's not

good enough for you is it taylor and so then my dad had to spank me and that hurt that's the same bathroom that i got put in when i was even around that same age maybe a little younger for saying a bad word and they didn't have liquid soap to put my mouth so they gave me a whole bar of new ivory and out of spite i ate the entire thing so they came in and i remember my mom it was either my mom or my grandma. It was my mom, I think. She's like, and did you learn anything about saying bad words, Taylor?

I was like, yeah, I ate all the soap. She's like, give me a credit. Do I get some sort of... So I've got 30 more bad words built up. I've told this before, but I love it so much. I never soaped Hope. But my wife would give her the soap. And the first time ever, Hope is like 11 or something, and she's just shouting at my wife, right?

Holding her ground, like nose to nose, yelling at Jackie. And Jackie, like, she's got to do something about this, right? You can't let your kid fucking bully you. So she puts liquid soap on her hand, and she reaches forward, and she zaps it on her tongue. Like, pow! But Hope was yelling the

whole time, and a bubble came up and floated into the air. I'll never forget. It's one of my parenting highlights. It was the greatest thing ever after that were you like hope does this really pay you off it's not a bad word hope she hated it like it took her it took a second for it to register and for her to realize the awful taste that was now in her mouth. But Jackie was just like, and just coated her tongue and the bubble came up and it was gorgeous. Loved it.

I don't think I've ever gotten soaked. You never got soaked? Me neither. That wasn't a thing that we did. Yeah, no, that's some weak shit. We got spankings and mom would try to arm herself. Mom would get a hanger sometimes, but that was mostly for intimidation, like a plastic coat hanger.

It was usually a hand. Dad's got big hands, and they were usually plenty. But if you're really fucked up, you'd get the belt. Yeah, the leather belt. Yeah, I hit my half-sister in the head with a level one time. I cracked her head open, and I got the belt yeah the leather belt yeah i hit my half sister in the head with a uh with a level one time i cracked her head open and i got the belt for that and uh but but yeah when dad would spank you there was there was gonna be some crying involved right but i didn't get spanked all that often like maybe like once a month or something like i i'd go over the line where spanking was required

and a lot of times like just taking something away from me was serious serious punishment enough like if you didn't let me go go on my weekend paintball like trip i was gonna cry anyway that's that's fucking oh i would have so much rather have a spanking than be like all right two weeks weeks, no Game Boy. Like, oh, please, just hit me. Right. That was awful. Again, cover it. You're like, I'd catch a spanking.

I caught a beating. Like, I don't really recall. There were some spankings involved. Yeah, that's abuse, though. Those aren't the ones that I remember. There was no point with my mom or my dad that they were, like, hitting me out of anger. Like, it was to correct me. When they said that this hurts me more than it hurts you, I always thought it's fucking bullshit.

But now being an adult, even without kids, I'm like, oh man, that must be really fucking hard to do to your kid to try and discipline them. But at no point was my dad or mom come in the room and be like, you did what? And start wailing on me. That's how it starts. That's what happened to you. That never happened to me. That's the difference between abuse and punishment, right? Discipline. Abuse is discipline

too, Kyle. It's punishment. I felt punished. It's extreme. I didn't like it at all. Chiz said a lot of people wanted us to do our favorite, not only movies of this past year, but maybe games and TV shows. I had so many cool TV shows that I discovered this year.

The Blacklist is definitely one of them. I fucking love The Blacklist. I watched five seasons of that shit in like a month or something like that. The Terror, that thing on AMC, that short miniseries where their ship is stuck up in the North Pole or whatever the hell. And they're dealing with that enormous polar bear monster. That shit was awesome. I really liked The Punisher. I felt like it wasn't great, but it was pretty fucking good. And I really liked The Punisher, I felt like it wasn't great, but it was pretty fucking good,

and I really liked The Punisher, so I liked that a lot. I liked Mandy a lot. That one with Nick Cage. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's doing hallucinogen drugs, and he's in the woods. That was number one on the movies of 2018 list

that we watched when you stepped away to go to the bathroom. I agree with that, then. That's really good. Yeah, loved that. I think it was called American Vandals. That was a really good one. Oh yeah.

Chiz has watched that four freaking times. He loves that movie. Is that a 2018 movie? I thought I heard of it a long time ago. A show? No. The first season was last year. Oh, I'm thinking of something completely different.

I'm thinking of that Tom Cruise movie. Like American something else. I'm thinking of something completely different. I'm thinking of that Tom Cruise movie, like American something else. I'm sorry. I got confused. I'm thinking of a different thing. I don't know what it's called. It's the show with, I think, the first one with Jimmy Tatro. And it was the one where he drew a bunch of dicks on the cars.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was good. That was good. Yeah, yeah. That was hysterical. That was funny. I didn't watch the new one. I didn't watch the new one. I didn't feel like this was going to be kind of dumb, but it was great.

Yeah. One or two episodes to get into, but it was really funny. I didn't consume a ton of, like, I was going to say I didn't consume a ton of media this year. That's not true. I watched a million YouTube videos that I don't remember. But I watched the Goldbergs, which is actually pretty funny. Like, it kept me laughing out loud for four or five seasons, and then it got a little too formulaic for me.

I caught on. And Designated Survivor, season one was okay. Good call. Okay it was. Yeah, season one was okay. I'll phrase it a little. Season one was okay. Yeah, once they get past solving the massive thing that happens,

it's like, all right, now you're a cheap version of the West Wing. The Bodyguard. I think it's just Bodyguard is a show on Netflix. There's one season of it. Basically, it's... Follows Charlie Kelly and Mac on their way to sell protein to... Close. I wish that was true.

It's actually the guy who played in Game of Thrones. What's the son who dies right away? The one you think is going to be like the king. Robb Stark. So the guy who plays Robb Stark it's set in modern days and he's like a war veteran

who is the bodyguard for a female British politician who's being targeted by terrorists. And it's really good. Bodyguard on Netflix. Check that out. I really enjoyed that show.

I watched it all in like two days or something like that. Do you know something that was really, oh, go ahead. Oh, I'm playing a 2018 game now, Vermintide 2. And I enjoy it.

It's a teamwork game. It's kind of left for dead. Except you're playing these like rat people instead of zombies. Hack and slash enjoy it. It's a teamwork game. It's kind of left for deady except you're playing these like rat people instead of zombies. Hack and slash. Yeah. Have you played it? No, I'm familiar with it though, of course.

Yeah, it's a little hack and smash. I'm developing like knowing when to block and when to push and stuff like that. At first I was like, this is just a button masher, but it's getting harder. And if there's one criticism i have so far i haven't i'm only a couple days into it the gap between the skill and level one and two they're

called recruit and veteran is pretty big so recruit got flat out boring and veteran is taking us six or seven tries to be level so yeah i uh i gotta say cod call of Duty this year It's the best Call of Duty For me, it's my favorite Call of Duty Since like The last Treyarch No, since Call of Duty 4 I think since Call of Duty 4 The introduction of Battle Royale

Was just An amazing step forward It brings so much replayability to Call of Duty There's so many different scenarios that get played out, so many different ways to play the terrain, and this circle's always different. It's great, and they keep adding little bits of content here and there, weapons

and playable characters and stuff. I don't know if PUBG was 2018. I feel like maybe that was close to 2018. No, and I feel like for me, like, Battle Royale games, like, I couldn't really get into them, Battle Royale games, like, I couldn't really get into them because PUBG was too, like, slow for me. It just felt too realistic almost. And then Fortnite was, like, so cartoony, I couldn't get into the building.

So, like, having an actual COD game that I can, like, transition into the world of Battle Royale, like, it's a very natural transition. I can play COD. I've been playing forever so yeah like i i loved that actual like just world and the quick transition into an actual battle royale so it's my favorite game for sure uh for for the year i think it's probably the best game that was introduced uh last year for me it was um i know red dead redemption and it would would be the top on many people's list but I'm waiting on it to come out on PC I recognize it as a great game for sure I've watched videos but I haven't laid my hands on it yet so I can't really say for sure is it planned for PC they're not saying but I think

it's supposed to like it's rumored to be uh middle of this year I think they're saying like actually I've seen as early for rumors yeah they won't say but because they want I think they're saying like actually i've seen as early for rumors yeah they won't say but because they want i think they're hoping people like me will go out and buy a playstation i was gonna say i would almost say though like the one thing i will give red dead is i would almost suggest playing it on a big tv like if you have a really nice 4k tv like because of the lighting dynamics and just like the scene like everything is very like attuned for big tv graphics yeah so i've got a nice monitor i was gonna say even i look forward to it yeah it's awesome yeah i definitely look forward to it and uh i gotta say man that i play a game

called the forest which is like a survival horror type game where it's multiplayer and there's a lot of crafting and uh there's and there's a storyline built into it. It's an early access game that costs like $15. I don't remember exactly, but goddamn do I feel like I got my money's worth and I'm still playing it. It's really good. For me, I'm sure there's plenty of other games in 2018

that are better than it, for sure. But for me, man, it's been one of my favorites that came out this year magic the gathering arena has been my favorite game of the year yeah i've put more time into that than any game this year by a ton because i love magic it's so much tv shows like oh it's so much i never played hearthstone like i said so many people telling me oh taylor you got to get into hearthstone it's very similar to magic was like, no, I already have one strategic card game that costs money. If I want to buy it physically, I'm not doing that.

Same when Kyle and Chiz got into Magic the Gathering Online, like the kind of shittier precursor to the Magic the Gathering Arena. And you have to buy all your cards. They were fine doing it because I don't really have that big of collections. And I was staunchly like, no, I'm not playing Magic the Gathering Online because I'll end up starting to recreate my physical decks and then i'll own the fucking digital copy of a deck and in two months kyle and she's are going to fall out of this and be into something else and i won't and it'll just be a money pit yeah as far as tv

shit i'm trying to think of new stuff i watched like ozark oh you're yep thank you kyle wow i was gonna say one that was not as good as that you're right my favorite show this year was ozark oh you're yep thank you kyle wow i was gonna say one that was not as good as that you're right my favorite show this year was ozark it was season two of ozark i believe that came out this year but i'm counting it i'm counting season two of ozark this year was one of the best shows of the year it it it topped season one for me it was really good they they they kept a lot of these shows like that fall into repetitive patterns where the same shit happens over and over, and you're like, oh, well...

Like The Walking Dead, for example. I haven't touched The Walking Dead this season. It's too formulaic. It's very formulaic. The same shit over and over with just a different face on the other end. And the same solutions are usually used to fix the problem. Ozark hasn't done that yet. I get it. It two seasons in but fuck that's a good show i don't

know what the main actor's name is i always forget jason bateman jason bateman yep that's right he's great the only actor i don't like very much is that uh you know curly-headed blonde chick i love her she's she's a good character's dirty. I want to fuck her. She's had 15 accents throughout that show. Like in every other scene. Don't you make fun of my Ozark. Is it a western? It switches all the time.

She'll be like, oh, that's someone from southeast Missouri. Oh, now you're Texas. Now you're Georgia. Now you're all over the place. Yeah, you know, southern accent's kind of hard to... There's a lot of twang that moves around. It's hard to get for a lot of people. I mean, look at fucking Rick in Walking Dead. That was my exact thought.

He's terrible at it. He's fucking terrible at it. It's just factually bad. Girl! I'm wrong. I'm in Georgia. I don't know if you're aware, Josh, but I'm in Georgia. None of us sound like Rick.

None of us. Nothing even close to that. He's like Australian, right? Australian or British, it's one of the other things. He has some kind of imperial accent. Yeah, for sure. Ozark killed it for me. I love that.

I recommend that to everybody that I talk to. Man, it's hard to think of the TV shows off the top of my head. I'm trying to think of other games. I watch like really, honestly, most of my Netflix was probably just comedian specials because the comedian specials this year were actually pretty phenomenal. What were your favorites? I would say probably, I think Tom Segura had a really good one this last year he's fun um joe rogan's was actually pretty decent i like joe's a lot yeah his his was like his was more topical

than the last one but i think he he killed it and like he went all out with his last one um i haven't seen his most recent one i usually like him a lot more as an interviewer than a stand-up dude right watch his watch his new different world special yeah totally yeah it's really good it's honestly on stage he's like an entirely different it's it's definitely a switch up and i actually got to see some of them um this last year like i think it was like around april at the comedy store which is really cool so it's like being being in like a place of history and seeing all that take place was was like honor so there's definitely something i i want to try to get more of like next year is actually seeing comedians in in person going to shows yeah i saw i've seen bill burr live uh i think maybe twice now i've seen uh brian regan who is a totally different you seem to know your comedy really really well

but brian regan was he's like works pretty clean and he is hysterical like i saw him on like one of the alt comedy uh facebook pages yeah not surprising he he's one of those guys who like just seems to do his own thing right like larry the cable guy like i follow his twitter and he does not he doesn't tweet about like current events like he doesn't fucking care he makes his own jokes and will be like yeehaw i'm a fat redneck and you're coming to see me in sacramento on the 22nd like self-appreciating you know that's not his real accent right oh yeah i know it's not he's it's all a show but he seems even so like a likable guy. I feel like he understands. That's the thing that I've noticed

with this new age entertainer gap is all the older YouTubers kind of had this unspoken rule of first off, you didn't flaunt how much money you were making, which is a really weird switch up to all these new age YouTubers that are like, Gucci everything. I feel like back in the day, people were making money

and then just kind of trying to hide it because you were like oh my god I'm making this much money off the audience like what the fuck like and the transparency thing has become like almost overly transparent now where everyone is just like flaunting money that they don't really have and like I think Harley's talked about this a lot especially at the start of like Epic Meal Time I think Harley was one of the first people to really kind of like make that switch to but he almost did it like ironically and it was always like oh check out the fucking youtube money whereas people like are just like not even kind of ironic about that anymore but they also don't understand to not get involved politically or in any current events or like everyone always like tries to get that like little bit of clout off of

like current events or like off of like politics and stuff especially when it has like nothing to do with her channel where it's like hey this is ted from ted's pc fixing up we're gonna start off here by adding this uh gpu component and real quick fuck obama and like people tried to try and then they're like why is my audience dead like why is no one interacting with my content it's like because you divided everyone out of your audience like old youtubers understood like how to not divide be inclusive with everyone and just like do your job make content yeah i think it must must be harder in some way because like the new youtubers a lot of them i don't follow youtube like i used to at all i kind of just go to my own niche things and then look it up individually i don't even like do

subscriptions but like the early day youtubers were not making money the way a lot of these guys are and so i bet if they were making that kind of money you would have seen a similar percentage of people doing like the youtube dough thing instead of like the harley because what harley did was obviously totally tongue-in-cheek ironic because he's like look at all this money as he holds up like maybe a grand and he's eating like a fast food casserole it's so obvious like stacks of bacon right yeah but now like i i don't know uh shit he's a really big youtube rapper and i've've seen some like clips of him on Twitter, like bragging about money. He's an Asian guy.

Oh, rice gum. Are you talking about rice gum? It must be. If you said that quickly, it was like reaction videos and stuff too. Yeah, for sure.

Okay. Stuff too. All right. Yeah. Yeah, I know. And he always wears like Supreme and Gucci and all this like yada, yada.

Like I honestly feel like the old school youtube mentality was like we might have had a couple of those really nice things but they were always off camera and like that was like you would end you would end the stream take off your t-shirt and put on your nice nice button up whatever it was like it just seems like the new mentality of of kids just like flaunting is also what's like becoming the norm and it's like it's what people almost expect like if you're trying if you try to be like hyper real with your audience and just like really straightforward people are like i don't want to hear that like just just show me more like either random shit or flex more like yeah

well i mean the guys who are vlogging you kind of have to right if you're into your life then and then like what are you gonna have what are you, you kind of have to, right? If you're into your life, then what are you going to do? Like have a Honda that you drive when you're vlogging and then hop in your Lambo when you're not vlogging? You know, like there is literally like old school, like Bunny, who was like, she probably started like 2005. She actually did that for a while. Like she had like a shittyep or something that she would always like vlog and stuff in and then in her garage in this ginormous house that everyone just saw this year she had like a like a porsche or like it was like a tesla or something it was just like

like a range like it was a really nice car yeah i remember um a lot of the a lot of minecraft guys like like they got into minecraft servers that were young guys especially they were crazy about flaunting the money they had like like um woody would retell the story if he were if he were here about the guy with the five thousand dollar leather pants who like i want to say he like destroyed the pants at leather pants yeah they were like i want to say i think he had like all of his fans signed them and then maybe he just threw them away after that day or something like like just just just you know guys making a hundred thousand dollars a month or something like that you know just at a very

young age you know i was gonna say with the expectation and i i even fell into this gap for for a little bit of time like if you're fucking 18 19 20 doing that you have an expectation that that's going to be your continued life for 10 years from now especially people around you being like man you're doing so good for yourself at a young age you're like right i am and not really like looking a couple years out being like oh this not only is probably going to decrease but very well could just disappear like that because this platform's so fucking, it's crazy. It's like water. Let me tell everyone about GetQuip. When it comes to your health, brushing your teeth is one of the most important parts of your day. Quip knows that, and they've combined dentistry and design to make a better

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right. Absolutely. It's very nice. Very nice. I'm in the middle of a move, and I was trying to find my quip toothbrush in to brush my teeth the other night in like the 50 tubs i have here and i couldn't find it did you check the miscellaneous tub i checked all of the miscellaneous they're all miscellaneous it's in it's in one of my luggage bags or something i don't know i packed like the way a toddler would like just be like, just get it done.

It'll be easy. And now like my girlfriend was like, Hey, that jacket I left at your house. I want to get that back. And I was like, well, you can fuck,

you can try and find it. It's not going to, you know, I'll help. But anyway, I was looking for my quip. Couldn't find my quip. It's just like,

fuck. And so I went and bought some like cheapo, the kind of toothbrush, like manual that most people use. And after using a quip. Couldn't find my quip. I was like, fuck. I went and bought some cheapo, the kind of toothbrush manual that most people use. After using a quip for so long, I went back to this and started brushing. I was like, this fucking sucks. Like a damn caveman. I feel like a caveman. I feel like my teeth aren't really

getting clean. I feel like I'm not getting into that sub-gingival area. I definitely can't wait to find my quip. I have a topic I could use Kyle's expertise on. Kyle, are you ready? Hang on. Oh.

I literally thought his video was frozen for a second there. He wasn't moving at all. I'm ready. All right. I don't know what he did there. I prepared myself. All right. So this is a story that's getting attention here in Raleigh.

So this is a story that's getting attention here in Raleigh. On New Year's Eve, like before midnight, people were firing their guns into the air like it's Flippin' I Rock or something. It's illegal. Shouldn't be. That surprises me. Well, anyway, you know how in New York they drop the big ball? Sure do. In Raleigh, you probably didn't know, they have a cheesy version of it where they drop an acorn.

We drop the peach here. Oh, okay. Anyway, this UNC student, cute thing, got shot. Someone fired their gun in the air. According to the guys at the barbershop, it hit her chest,

it damaged her belly, and rested in her hip somewhere. And first of all, there was a debate in the barbershop about how far away the guy was. Because I thought it was a couple miles away. By the way, handgun, that's important. And then they started saying stuff that just couldn't seem. They're like, the higher up you point the gun, the less distance it goes. And I'm like, that couldn't seem they're like the higher up you point the gun the less distance it goes and i'm like that doesn't seem right well if you wanted the gun to go a little farther you'd point it a little up right no not past 45 degrees right then you and i are on the same team because he was acting like the farthest way to get the bullet to travel would

be straight and level and i'm like well no you got to give it like from what i know 45 degree angle is the most is is the farthest you can you can get it I'm like, well, no, you got to give it like, from what I know. 45 degree angle is the most, is the farthest you can get the object to go. Well, that's what I was. Okay, so we agree on that. But he acted like every inch over level was making it not go as far. So let's say hypothetically

that they shot it at 45 degrees. How fast does it decline? Like if I dropped a bullet off of a tall building I wouldn't expect it to really hurt someone it won't hurt someone there's a formula for how fast objects

accelerate it's like I'm not going to attempt to remember it but there is one and speed times fastness multiplied by gumption. Multiplied by how many drinks you've had that evening. But there's a few things that factor into that. For one thing, the weight of the bullet's kind of important,

and also what the bullet's shaped like. But it has a maximum velocity that it's going to fall due to gravity. You could drop it from fucking... Well, not space, because that's a little different. Because there's no air resistance up there. You could drop it almost in space. It'll literally burn itself up

in the atmosphere. It's going so goddamn fast. But you could drop it from 5,000 feet, 10,000 feet, and it's going to be going at its terminal velocity. Now, if I shoot it straight up, then that would be the same as dropping it from a building. Totally, yeah. Okay.

Absolutely. Straight up. If it goes straight up, and it goes up, and then it goes whoop, and then it starts falling right back down, then it's not going to hurt anybody. It's going to be like, ow, what was that?

That aches a little. But if you've shot the thing at an angle, then it's carrying some of the velocity that it was fired with at the end. And it really depends on the angle that it's fired at, how far it's going to go, and how much energy it's going to carry. And obviously, what was its original velocity so i don't expect you to get

this super accurate exact but let's say that i shoot a full size nine millimeter at a 45 roughly how far do you think that bullet goes shit because i was like two miles and they're like no way no way it could go that far they were talking about half a block and i'm like half a block no it's probably going i've seen warnings about 22s that say seven miles okay what shit i honestly don't know the i'll say this i've taken my 45 and shot 500 600 yards is 1800 600 yards um and and and hit the target it's a large target about the size of the bed of a pickup truck if you stood it up i can hit that at 600 yards with a handgun and i'm not aiming that crazy high i'm aiming i mean i'm aiming way up above it with my.45 caliber pistol, but that's a

subsonic heavy round. How many yards is a mile? Like 1,400? So it would be 5,500 divided by 3-ish? It's 5,280, right? 5,280. Yeah, 5,280.

17.60. So a third of a mile there and I'm not even aiming that high up I would guess that a 9mm is probably going I don't know, 4 miles 5 miles I really don't know the answer

I was vastly outnumbered like 3 to 1 in the barbershop today with my estimate of far over half a block and they're like, nah. And I'm like, but I get that there's more of you, but... Look, pull up one of Jerry Mikulik's

videos, or 22 Klinkster's videos, of them shooting fucking handguns at 500 yards and hitting targets. And be like, this is a third of a mile that they're shooting right here. And that's, I would say as like someone who doesn't know anything about gun i i semi understand the position of the guys in the bar shop because that's about how far i would guess that like

at a high angle it would go is like four or five hundred yards it depends on the angle you know like like once you get above 45 start to shorten it then you start to shorten it right and we've all thrown baseballs. Taylor, you might not know you're muted. What's the safest way to fire a gun recklessly into the air? Straight up, I guess. Straight up. I believe that it's

legal to fire guns in most places on 4th of July and New Year's. I would recommend to our listeners that you do your own research. Yeah, do a quick Google search on that. You'll probably get the correct answers.

But yeah, straight up is safe, in my opinion. The problem with straight up, especially when you're drinking, though, is you might be off a little. And you don't have to be off that much to fire a bullet a couple miles away that's still carrying enough energy to at the very least put somebody's goddamn eye out if you're the most if they're the most unlucky person in the world right like it's just it's just reckless in the general direction of downtown raleigh the place where people assemble to watch the acorn drop i wonder if it was intentional there are no when we did that video um the 40 millimeter machine gun

the bofors anti-aircraft gun that I'm sitting in the one that's in a lot of memes now um that thing did this thing where you have to hang there's a crank that you crank like this to like raise to elevate and uh and lower the barrel of that thing and The guy taught me how to use this thing in literally 10 minutes. That was my training course. Then it's go time. He showed me how to do it, but he didn't tell me, while you're firing, hold on to that, because the gun will start making that spin backwards,

and the barrel will just rise slightly. It's like not hanging on to a gun. He didn't tell me that. I figured you lock this cannon in and started shooting, and it did its thing. When I started shooting, the barrel will just rise slightly. It's like not hanging onto a gun. He didn't tell me that. I figured you lock this cannon in and started shooting and it did its thing. But when I started shooting, the barrel goes boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And like the last shot,

like the first shot hits the target. The second shot hits 10 feet high. The third shot hits a tree and blows it the fucking half. And like the fourth or fifth shot just goes. And I pretend like i i'm fine with what everything that just happened it was pretty cool one shot everywhere destroyed target very good but you know they were like all right cut and i'm just like where did that bullet

go where did it go and the guy oh, about seven miles that way. And I'm like, what's seven miles that way? Horse farm. And I'm like, a horse farm? Are we talking about the glue factory? Are we talking about some Kentucky

purebreds? I think it's a petting zoo with horses. I don't remember. No, I think it's a petting zoo with horses. I don't remember. That's the cancer hospital. No, that's the children's hospital with a petting zoo. Yeah. So, yeah. It's not something that you...

Don't do it. That's the real answer to that question. I feel pretty confident that I could shoot a gun straight up in the air and nobody would ever get hurt. But I'm not going to tell you to ever fucking do it because if you do it wrong, you might shoot somebody and you don't want that. You know, shoot the ground.

Just shoot the ground. Or if you're drinking, keep the guns in the safe. Yeah, alcohol and guns don't mix at all. I've never had any amount of alcohol and messed with a gun. I've hunted with people who are having beers, but like it's,

it's, that's on them for one thing. So I don't give a shit. I feel safe sitting next to them while they're drinking beers. You know, I'm not condoning what they're doing and I'm not responsible for what they're doing. You know,

we're in a field shooting doves. It's a hot summer day. It's a, it's a real, it's not a high tempo shooting activity. It's like, Oh, here he comes. You know, it's, I don't care if you have a few beers, especially if it's a it's a real it's not a high tempo shooting activity it's like oh here he comes

you know it's i don't care if you have a few beers especially if it's a grown-ass man who i never said he really drinks beers but i used to go off-roading with people that drank beers and in some cases that's common too many beers like more than a case and actually the night like continue sorry nah just i it by like afternoon it seemed dangerous like i felt like i had to take extra precautions to keep myself safe because the shit like anything could happen they're drinking and driving yeah it's uh it's dangerous uh and some people can handle it and some people can't that's the other thing it's like like like some some people get who handles a case some people can handle it depends on the period of time that they're drinking

or whatever. It's not the sort of thing that you can even really talk about publicly, I feel like. No drinking and driving is acceptable. However, I think we can all admit that there are some dudes out there that probably have a six-pack and then guzzle a six-pack, hop in their car, and pass

any sort of driving test you want them to pass. This is the official stance of the pj that we're okay with it as long as you're cool you're a fucking loser no get back get back in the house drunk drunk idiot if you're confident you got some swagger as you stumble out to your car getting getting ready to go get some Cheetos. As long as you're cool. That's what Kyle's saying. Kyle means as long as you're cool, go hog wild.

Correct me if I'm wrong. You're wrong. You're absolutely wrong. I have never drank and drive. I never would drink and drive because you're taking not only your own life in your hands, but everyone else on the road. It's one of the most despicable things that I can think of, especially if you're talking about despicable things that I find despicable that some people find to be casual, right?

I find drinking and driving to be a very despicable thing to do. Here's a good question. What's something that other people find despicable that you're more like, oh, come on. Oh, like fucking somebody else's wife or like cheating on yourself. I knew I was like adultery, adultery, come on. Oh, like fucking someone else's wife or cheating on yourself. I knew I was like, adultery, adultery, adultery, and then it goes straight to fucking someone else's wife.

It's like two individuals were like, hey, how about we only fuck each other? Yeah! Pinky swear? Pinky swear! And then you're like, fuck that, pinky swear. And then people are like, oh my god I think less of you as a man now

I think you're an animal maybe you should be put down like one it's like nah come on you're like yes I'm an animal I put 80% on her in that situation it's an indictment of how hot that

chick was is what it is you know like i think that i think that many uh very respectable men have have been on both sides of that coin our wonderful uh uh 42nd president is that where bill clinton was bill clinton had a real hard time keeping his dick in his pants you know and and I'm whatever president you want me to be, baby. I do a great Jimmy Carter if that's what you're into. So did John F. Kennedy. That's pretty good.

So did John F. Kennedy. You got a Kennedy in you? Not yet. Oh, he did have sexual relations with those women. He did. He'd have said that. He'd have been proud of it. He didn't give a fuck. He was fucking movie stars and shit.

And Jackie was hot. See, Bill's got an excuse. Bill had to go home to a wildebeest that is not into men, who smells bad according to the reports of several individuals. We read the article on the show about that lady who talked about how poor Hillary's hygiene was and how she smelled bad and had BO.

Kennedy, Jackie was hot. Jackie was very hot. She had great peripheral vision from how far apart her eyes were. Yes, they were very wide. They had to be so she could keep an eye on Kennedy when he was running around with those women, right? But Marilyn Monroe was just, you know, she's...

They had her killed, by the way. They definitely had her killed. I wonder how hot Marilyn Monroe was at the time. At the time he was fucking her? Yeah. You can look it up. She died very young, so she never, like, got old. When I look at Marilyn Monroe,

and this might be me, like me projecting what I know now, she always looks really troubled to me. This is a woman who's struggling on the inside. Taylor, you see it too? I don't doubt it. Blood in the water. When you're cheating with the president, that has a lot of baggage with it.

And his brother. And I guess she got beat by Joe DiMaggio. He's a professional athlete. Joe DiMaggio, slap a hoe. He had a few problems here and there. Joe loved her, okay? He did. Joe put those roses on her grave every fucking year

until the day he died. You know that? He was just poking her with the thorns. Oh, poor Joe DiMaggio. That ruined him. I actually met Joe DiMaggio once. Youorns. Poor Joe DiMaggio. That ruined him. I actually met Joe DiMaggio once. I don't believe you. At Dinky Donuts.

You're a liar. You remember. That's a good reference. Dinky Donuts in Seinfeld when Kramer gets home to Jerry, he's like, you will not believe who I saw at Dinky Donuts. It's like, well, who'd you say? He's like, jumping Joe DiMaggio. Anderry's like you will not believe who i saw at dinky donuts it's like well who'd you say he's like jumping joe dimaggio and he's like you did not see joe dimaggio at dinky donuts he's like

he's a dipper he dips his dough his donut in his uh i can't describe seinfeld because i can't do any of the impressions well but he's oh that's a funny episode that's a good yeah um i don't know how we got into this oh yeah adultery that That's the one. And not necessarily like adultery, but just cheating on your partner. It's not cool. I'm not saying it's a good thing. I'm just saying it's not a hanging offense. I'm okay with open relationships. I'm just not okay with the breaking of your vow, right?

Like if you want to have 19 girlfriends knock yourself out, if any of those girlfriends think that you know they're trusting you and you don't deserve it then then you're not being good i mean you swear you can be in a different place at the beginning of relationship and five years into relationship though so you can't be straightforward yeah you're not supposed to be deceitful about it. It's about as bad as if she's like, hey, did you take the garbage out?

And you didn't. But you don't want to get back out of bed because it's cold outside. And you're just like, yeah, I took it out. I would argue worse than that. I would argue worse than that. Although I wouldn't lie about either, to be honest. Potato, potato. You know what's actually worse than cheating

Are people who leave cups of dip spit out That's worse than cheating Or spit into Dr. Pepper Like things My man We had this exact conversation A week ago And we'll have it again

It wasn't the first time last week Here I want to watch I just linked a Twitter clip It wasn't the first time last week. Here, I want to watch a... I just linked a Twitter clip. It's only seven seconds long just to set it up. A British cop and a man are fighting. And just don't talk during it. It's only seven seconds. I was laughing at this earlier.

I need a second to cue it. Damn it. I can't not watch it. It's just the way Twitter works. All right. I'm ready. Three, two, one, play. Damn.

Man, Seth Rogen has a good stand-up on him, right? Oh, that's so funny. Dude. He's running funny. Dude. He's running down the street. Looks just like him. So the he-he is hard to get past. But are you guys hearing the... Is that the sound of his head against the cement?

Right? That's probably his fucking utility belt of nonsense. Watch again. Oh, that's his skull. He definitely smacks his head. Oh, that guy is so hurt. Oh. I'm watching his neck snap back.

I love the laugh. The society might say this is fine, but I think it's bad. Let's add that one to the list. A concussion there. Dude. I'm not convinced that was all his head. Really? I've watched it 14 times now. I'm not convinced that was all his head Really? I've watched it 14 times now I'm not convinced that's not Seth Rogen

Taylor I hear the head Oh that's his head Yeah that might be his skull I didn't catch that off the start's his head. Yeah, that might be a skull. I didn't catch that off the start. Well, his head. Oh, yeah.

Okay, well. Okay, it's still funny. Yeah. Who did McSorley hit? I always have to ask you this. Oh, the hockey player. Hockey player. I don't even remember. Brashear?

Was it Brashear he hit? I thought the guy's career was ruined. I got them mixed up. I think it was Brashear? Was it Brashear he hit? I thought the guy's career was ruined. I get them mixed up. I think it was Brashear, actually. Anyway, yeah. Oh, hey, we talked extensively about UFC on PKN. If you guys want to hear it, become a patron. It's like $2 or something.

Yes, that. I don't think of you people that way. He does. When we're not recording, he calls you commoners. You're kids. You have jobs. What are you going to do? Do whatever you got to do. I call them commoners.

I want to talk about that six-foot-tall Australian bitch kicking Kat Zingano in the eyeball. You saw that, right? I think I missed it. Oh, my God. She got kicked in the eyeball. The toe went in her eyeball and cut her eye and cut her eyelid.

And that was it. Fucking TKO right there. I think that's what they called it. She thought her eyeball had burst. That's what she said. She didn't know what had happened. And she's petitioning or campaigning, however you want to, for it to become like a no

contest as if it was an eye poke i think that's bullshit because there's no way that that chick was like i'm gonna put my toe in your eye if she had that accuracy she wouldn't have to aim for the eye she'd aim she'd aim for the liver every time really good actually now that you mentioned it i do remember hearing that it was just a cut above her eye. It was cut. Right. Yeah. Oh yeah. Was it cut through?

Not cut through that I saw, but it's stitched. They stitched her eyelid and, and like she was just standing with her eye closed. I never saw her open her eye during the fight coverage. It looked bad and they showed it. And the toe just gets her right in the eyeball i'm sure it scratched the eyeball as well the the chick she was fighting i find them both to be pretty

attractive but you know i've got i i like interesting looking ladies strong looking she has the biggest titties of any ufc fighter she's like doing a warm-up you know she's like bouncing over there and she's got at least two undergarments holding those bad boys in place, and they're going, they're moving up and down six, eight inches like they're on hydraulic fucking shocks or something

like that. It's hot as fuck, and she's got that mean face on because she's about to beat up another woman. The chick she's fighting is a legitimate six-foot tall. I want to say Australian. She had a sexy accent. I think she was Australian.

But six feet tall. And she doesn't look great when she's fighting or whatever. But with makeup and everything, she's pretty pretty too. I enjoyed that. I enjoyed watching them stand in front of each other and the promise of them maybe rolling around the ground and beating each other up. But I did not like seeing that toe go inside.

There's a video of a toe kick I just linked. Yeah, we should watch that video if that's possible. If it's allowed to watch UFC stuff. I guess it is. Oh, the eye kick happens three seconds in. You can just mute it if you even wanted to. That's rough. Look at those titties, though.

I'm having a hard time. And her tattoos. Oh, and then she came around and punched her in the titty. It's weird. I go to Discord, I highlight copy, and I keep getting this ninja video again and again. Now it's working.

Yeah, the girl with tattoos is huge yeah she's as tall as the ref she's she's legit six foot bigger oh it was kind of a glancing blow yeah it wasn't i thought i was gonna be like toe in the eye yeah it went across her eye is there a slow-mo to see her oh i'm skipping forward to see it. 105-ish is kind of a slow-mo. I just can't get over how big the chick is. Yeah, 105 you really get to see. Oh, goodness.

105? Oh, wait, hold on. They're so big. That big one? The Australian? Do you see her abs as she does the kick? Yeah. That woman. Yeah, she's pretty legit. I think Kat would have kicked her ass, though. You. That woman. Yeah, she's pretty legit. I think Kat would have kicked her ass, though. You throw in a happy tail, and she's hot.

Happy tail. I didn't have to say trail. I said it wrong. Yeah. Got a nice little jiggle on that thine ass. All right, I'm getting carried away. Yeah. I want to say they were fighting at 145 there.

That was a featherweight fight. A featherweight undercard fight. Yeah, 10 featherweight. Tad Zingano, I think, would look better 10 pounds lighter. 10 pounds heavier for me. Really? Fucking get them titties enormous. I want to see.

I'm a big fan of that. I like all of what she's got going on there. Yeah, she could come up with her own special move. Like the mammary mash. You just suffocate your opponent. It's after the game, she just collapses beer cans. Fucking hot. But yeah, that was fucked up.

I've never seen that even happen before. I don't think that's... It's like a scratch to her eye yeah i i feel like i i don't understand the rules on this so for people that know you can't eye gouge right and and with your fingers if you lead with your pokey fingers then that's illegal um even if you just hold your fingers out in such a way that the guy gets poked then then you're at fault some people punch with their thumb out in a way that does it. That's bad. But I've never seen anyone punished for toe-kicking an eye. It's clearly an accident.

It's clearly an accident. Yeah, that's the difference, and I think that's what's going to happen. And you don't make a foot fist. Yeah, well, I mean. You do. You're a foot fister. I'm a next level... You know, that's something society frowns on,

but I think if you want to footfist someone, then you can do it. It's just two consenting adults. It's really a tech. Never the whole foot, but, you know, a toe or two. Well, you're not with the right women, Kyle. You've got incredibly dexterous toes just weirdly dexterous you're you got like double jointedness in your hands and your feet

uh there's no such thing as double jointedness but um they're they're they're very flexible and in my fingers i have something called a swan neck deformity where the ligaments are extra long to the point where like like your finger probably doesn't go like that or, or like this where it'll bend back. It literally been backwards at the middle joint. So like, like that. Does it make you prone to injury?

Not at all. Oh, in basketball. Yeah. But, but I don't play basketball. I'm prone to injury in basketball and i don't have that i think i just lack talent i think i'm just bad at basketball but it but but oftentimes if i was like

receiving a really hard uh pass in basketball i could i could really hurt my fingers that happened a few times and it made me stop playing basketball forever poor kid just play for fun you know were you any good or did you? No, I wasn't good. It's like the worst superpower. Bendy fingers. The worst superpower. It's pretty effective for something.

I was going to say, I guess there's some... Yeah, you got a little bit of G-spot manipulation when you get the curve there. Right there. One of a kind curve. Yeah, I've gotten compliments on my silly bendy fingers. I have a topic.

Go ahead, Josh. I was going to lean into a circumcision, but I'm still going to do it. I watched a documentary the other day that was talking about exactly that. Apparently the reason that people have bends in their dick is because of circumcision most of the time really because the doctor either cut the bottom part uh like slightly longer than the top part or vice versa so it makes people's dicks been

up or down i had no idea does this change your mind about circumcision kyle are you finally coming over to team there's no reason for this oh gosh whatever you say team can't hit a g spot i don't think that there's a reason for it but like as one who circumcised i'm not like darn i lost that sensitivity like i don't think that's actually that large of an actual like reason to be pissed off like i would never go on the anti circumcision field if If Kennedy had that sensitivity, he'd have lasted 90 seconds instead of three minutes. It made him a better lover. I have taken the

circumcision argument and I have retired it like a Larry Bird jersey. I'm also bored of it. We've talked about it. It's not you, Josh. We've spent so much time talking about circumcision. I just want to get that dick bin in there. That's a new thing to add, but I will never, ever again argue for or against it.

All right. This is the most thrilling topic we had in 2019 thus far. I saw it and couldn't not talk about it. The oil change on the new Ford Ranger is far too difficult. And for those of you that change the oil on your cars, you're probably like, Woody's a pussy. You know, like, it's not hard. All right, bro.

First of all, you have to remove the left front tire. And so now you're already getting, like, jacks out. What are those things called? Not the jack, but the, like – it doesn't change height by accident. The chalk – no, whatever. Hydraulic lift. No, it's like you raise it with the jack, you slide this thing under it, and then you put it down.

I forget what it's called. Anyway, once you've got the truck lifted and on the jack thingy, then you have to take the front tire off, and you're not nearly done yet. From there, you'll have to remove the filter with an end cap tool. To drain the oil, you'll have to unbolt the power steering control module from the underbody shield, and there's four bolts on it. And then from there, you have to, I'm scanning around, you have to remove an access panel secured by nine pushpin retainers.

And then from there, of course, you actually drain the oil. Well, it's a good thing none of us own that vehicle. I know, but it's not like I'm totally, I guess I just follow the truck market because it's interesting to me. Me too. Peas in a pod. Have you seen how the new Honda Ridgeline?

Is that a truck? Yeah, well, it's kind of a truck. Yeah, it takes a long time to change the oil there too. You have to take off two calibrators, add the calipers, take two of the... 10-gauge receivers, pull that up, jack it up. 10-gauge receivers? Yeah. I don't even have one of those.

Yeah, no, you're not. It's an ordeal, man. Sorry, I derailed you for not even a funny joke. This is the worst oil. I'm sure a Bugatti is worse or something like that. Jaguar. I mean, is that to force people to come to the dealer and have them do it for you, basically? the worst oral i'm sure like a bugatti's worse or something like that but yeah jaguar i mean is that to force people to come to the dealer and have them do it for you basically i well i think it has something to do with there's they're jamming a really big motor into a smaller mid-sized truck

and to do that they just have to be creative changing the spark plugs on the jaguar i used to have required uh i want to say it required dropping the transmission. It was absurd. It was absurd. The links you have to go to. And it was a 12 cylinder engine. So there are 12 fucking spark plugs. Car talk.

I wish wings would hear. Wings would have been eaten at. Nine push pin retainers for an access panel. And you have to remove the power steering control module with four bolts? Imagine that every time. This is good shit. I don't know shit about cars.

Taylor, are you in the market for a new car? No. I'm going to drive my current car into the ground and then... What's that? Six months? Nine months? I don't know. It's not going to drive my current car into the ground and then... What's that, six months, nine months? I don't know. It's not going to be that much longer. Maybe another year or two.

He's got no time to buy a new car. He's got to buy a new PC. I do have to buy a new PC. To play Vermintide with Colin and I. We could use a good third and fourth, by the way. Kyle's good at video games. He's very current, plays all the time. We could use a good third and fourth, by the way. Kyle's good at video games. He's very current, plays all the time. If you drop a new game on him,

he's likely to be above average at it. So we could use a good man. And if he's not, Kyle will devote three days to it until he's suddenly in the top 10, 15% of that game out of nowhere. That's how quickly it goes. On PKN, Kyle will, during the show the show be like I'm playing this new game called Crazy and you're

surviving in a mental asylum and I just got it 4 hours ago so I've been playing for 4 hours and it's a lot of fun I still don't really get it yet and then PKN will come around and Kyle will be like well I've beaten it 3 times so far that's totally what happens

Middy and I played all of Wednesday, I think. Yeah, all of Wednesday. It went into Thursday. It's been 48 hours. I've got 40 hours in game. And now I've finished that, and I've moved on to sub, which is where it's a survival on a retired nuclear submarine in a winter or something.

And then by Tuesday, you'll have mastered that one. Hell yeah, man. I like playing games a lot. I like new games. And I like being good at games. Games are fun if you're not good at them. And sometimes it requires not only a lot of practice,

but a lot of research. I enjoy the research that is often required to get good at a game. Civilization, I've got thousands of hours of game time but i've got hundreds and hundreds of hours of of of education time i had to college course in fucking civilization that's why i stopped playing competitive games right and people say cod's not competitive but that's not what i mean i i mean like if i'm playing against other, you have to invest a lot of time to be as good as I need to be to have fun.

Right. I'm not having fun unless my KD is three or better in that game. I'm not saying my KD is three. Just not every game is fun. So I now I'm like, I'm going to play Left 4 Dead. You know what my KD in Left 4 Dead is? It's probably 400. Like it's really high.

I'm playing Vermintide 2 lately. And, you know, it's kind of hard-ish. Actually, a little harder than I want. But not as hard as it would be to start being good at Battlefield 4. Or whatever the current Battlefield is. World at War. I don't know. But if I were to walk into the current Battlefield 5, Kyle says,

I would be awful. Right? I'd be terrible. And I wouldn't know the map. And I wouldn't know. But if I were to walk into the current Battlefield 5, Kyle says, I would be awful. I'd be terrible and I wouldn't know the map and I wouldn't know which guns are good. My character would suck. Maybe guns can't be good until you get a sight or something. I'm not looking to invest that much time

before the fun starts. I prefer games for the fun right away. Most of the games I've played lately are like that, I feel like. I enjoy the survival games. I like those a lot because of how much time has to be invested before you're the king of your castle, right? Until you're no longer worried about surviving.

Now you're flourishing, and you're sort of making the environment your own. I like the teamwork, right? I liked giving you guys fish. Like, hey, I caught all these fish and now I have enough. I'm keeping the whole team fed. I have a role here. And Kyle's out there building island boarding contraptions.

Ramps. Ramps, yeah. And Taylor's over there farming. And people are getting stuff done. I like pitching in and having a common goal. I liked feeling useful in that game. Because Kyle knew

everything to do and Woody very quickly found a niche of like, boom, I'm the food man and the drink man. When there was something else for me to do, I'm like, okay, I'm not just some asshole hanging out on their boat. Taylor had a palm tree farm over there in no time. He's growing palm trees. I was like, Taylor,

I got something for you. Because we had just figured out how to build large crops. And I drop it down. I felt very proud of myself. Taylor's going to like this. And for a while, I planted mango trees. And the whole trees grew. For like an hour, I kept walking up to him. him and i'm like why can't i pick these goddamn mangoes and then uh and then uh the patron we were playing with was like maybe you need to chop them down

and i was like maybe you need to chop down and of course he was right and i looked like a retard yeah i've I've definitely... Red Dead's, I think, the first game that I've gotten to really deep into a story with. All the CODs, especially, all I played was multiplayer. I didn't touch the story past maybe Modern Warfare 2-ish. Same here.

So it's literally been competitive, competitive, competitive. And then I kind of did it a little bit in Fortnite as well and started hating competitive. So Fortnite's what pushed me away from that. And Red Dead's the first story I've just sat down and spent hours and hours and hours getting into. It's fun. I like it. My friend.

So we have friends that are like family in the area. Kyle, you saw the baby. That's the dad I'm about to talk about. He did the motion capture for Fortnite. He was working with them yesterday, actually, on another project. And they're like, can you do a back handspring to a backflip to a ninja kick? And he's like, yeah, that's what I do. That's why you hired me.

So all the parkour action you see in Fortnite where they're climbing up. He's a parkour coach also where they like, you know, because there's a lot of building and stuff and running and whatnot. That's my friend. That's cool. Really cool. Yeah. Yeah. I like the story in games, too.

I just like games. Right. Like I love really every aspect of games. I love a dense, great story. Halo, I thought, had one of the greatest stories of all time. I want that to be a movie so fucking bad. I want it to be a movie. No.

There are Halo movies. There's those really bad combat evolved animated. Live action I'm thinking of. I was going to say the live action animation. It was like Mr. Mark though. That's not a real movie. That's some sort of internet web series thing. There was supposed to be a movie

that was done by Peter... Halo with Master Chief fighting the... I don't think we're talking about the same movie. It was going to be the Peter Jackson thing at one point, right? Yeah, so Peter Jackson was going to make Halo and then it got scrapped. For people who don't know. And then I think Del Toro

took over the project and then he left, and they took all of the props and the guns and stuff that were going to be Halo, and they used it for District 9. So if you watch District 9 and you look at some of the futuristic technology that's displayed, that's Halo shit that was left over from the movie,

the huge budgeted Halo movie that was supposed to be incorporated into that. I think this, what I'm talking about is an ODST search and rescue Halo movie. You probably know it, right? That's some lame ass shit. I'm talking about, I want the master chief. I want a $250 million

story of Halo 1, 2, and 3. Everything that happened after that is garbage. That ODST storyline was bullshit. All of the stuff they're doing now with 343 is an abomination. Fuck all that shit.

Yeah, I wasn't into Halo. I think when Halo was priming, I was still doing either school or sports. Yeah, that was 2005. Halo 1 came out in 2005. What was the story that ended with you driving all the exploding warthogs? Was that 2? Halo 2, yeah.

I want to see that movie for me. You're escaping on a warthog as everything's exploding around you and it's like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da And at the end, you jump the fucking warthog and dive out of it. And you're sliding down the ramp of the ship. And then you catch and you fucking get yourself up into it. And then you go up into fucking outer space.

And you latch onto the side of a Covenant drop ship. And it goes through a fucking black hole warp thing and originates back on earth at earth orbit and there and the the earth fleet is about to fire on and like wait a minute we're getting a friendly signal master chief what are you doing because he's hanging on to the side of the goddamn drop ship he's just hanging on to the side of it. And he goes, I'm finishing the fight, sir. And you're just like, fuck yeah! There's a voice? Yeah. Have you not played fucking Halo? I don't think so.

God damn. I know. You're going to pull my gamer card. But like I said, I think I was getting a master's degree at the time. I didn't do anything fun. Halo 3 was like 2009 or something like that. That's when I started, yeah. Life or death.

If you really want to do this, go onto YouTube and search Halo Story. I think they did a remastered version where everything's in HD. You can watch all the cut scenes. It's great.

Halo 3 is 2007. It's so fucking good. It's so fucking good. It came out the same time as COD 4. It's so. It's probably like... They were three in 2007. Yeah, so I was probably just graduating. It's so fucking good. It's so fucking good. It came out the same time as COD 4. It's so fucking good. It's amazing. It's amazing.

It almost ruined the video games for me. Because that's what I based all of my video game stories on. It's like all of the Halos, COD 4, the beginning of Modern Warfare 1 and 2. And I was like, oh oh my god video games have phenomenal stories gears of war it's very good as well 100 gears also and then all of a sudden i was just like well i don't want to play anything else because it's not going to live up to this dude and fallout fallout of course is real good there's a scene in gears of war like you're you're fighting i think it's gears of war 2 i'm talking about and it's going to hell in a hand basket like

things are rough and you've been in some rough stuff before but i'm like i don't know how i'm gonna get through this like shit is going wrong and then out of nowhere like a hero coltrane comes blasted in he's ain't nobody better at this game than me and uh and he starts like chain solid shit and he saves the day and dude that that was amazing it was one of my favorite gaming single player moments i think i i teared up watching some of those uh gears of war commercials and i i i may have teared the halo 3 ad campaign was one of the greatest ad campaigns any video games ever had. Not only did they have the standard animated stuff,

but they had the diorama ad campaign where the music's playing. I don't think I know what that means, diorama. They build this giant diorama miniature of a Halo battlefield that's in the Halo Museum and the camera's low sweeping over these little figures that represent a battle that took a fictional

battle within the game but in a historical context. It's like you would see today maybe a Civil War diorama and you'd see all the little soldiers on a battlefield. Almost like the beginning of Game of Thrones but models. Kind you know it's it's a battlefield being depicted in one frame it's similar like that uh figures beginning of lord of the rings fellowship of the ring where there's

that huge like obviously that one was moving but i know exactly the scene you're talking about where it's like getting really close in and there's so much detail and like there's carnage in the middle of it yeah and there's music playing and like it pans up and you see a brute has master chief like by the neck and master he's dead he's dead and he's holding him and and and like the the music's like coming to a crescendo it's like sad like heartfelt music as it like zooms in and you see a real close-up of Master Chief hanging there in this brute's hands dead. And he looks up at the camera and the grenade

in his hand lights up and it just goes, Believe. And then the date that the game comes out. And you're like, fuck. And then they had these other commercials that are like 40 or 50 years after the game that you were about to buy. And it's these old men.

And they're in the Halo War Museum. They're these old, they're like what we would say, like a World War II vet today. Like how they'll hold up a German machine gun and be like, yeah, this is what the Nazis used. You knew it when you heard it. But instead, they're like, the brutes mostly carried these.

You knew when you heard one of these, it was the brutes. And they're telling their war story of the battle that you're eventually going to get to take part in the game. And he's just like, we were outnumbered. We were cut down left and right.

My warthog was overturned, but I kept firing. We all knew as long as the chief was still in the fight that there was a chance. And it's just like, fuck. And they go from each one of them. There's a whole series of them. It's not like they do this all in one shot and that's one commercial. There's like eight different commercials with eight different soldiers telling their stories. And one of them,

he's telling a story about being pinned down in the woods. He's like, we were surrounded by the brutes. All we could do was hide in the dark. Hope they couldn't smell us out. Wait for dawn to come and Master Chief to arrive. And they're like, tell us

what it was like. It was terror. Would you mind if we turned the lights off and they he just he kind of goes all right and they turn the lights completely down and he starts he starts whispering then like he whispered back he like like just instinctually like because he's in the dark again he's like going back to that scary place and like he it was eight hours before dawn we couldn't make a move and he's whispering to you and then at the end he's like could you turn the lights back on i didn't like that very much like this is real they've got these real like good actors like acting out like this halo story man like they always had the most epic

commercials the combination of the the imagery and the music the music really like has any game ever had music as like like epic is such a cliche word but it is epic it sounds huge like big like it matters to me gears comes really close like gears had had each year's movie so the first gears I remember I was working. There was no way. I had no time for video games. But I watched that commercial, and I was like, God, I wish I had an Xbox. Because it was,

All around me are familiar faces. I know this song. Oh, Mad World by someone. Mad World. It's that song playing, and it's Marcus Fenix running through a city by himself. And you don't know who Marcus Fenix is. This's that song playing. And it's Marcus Phoenix running through a city by himself. And you don't know who Marcus Phoenix is. This is the first game. And he's just running and dealing with enemies and hiding.

And when the piano music plays, that's him shooting the machine gun at one of those gigantic locusts. And I was like, ah, that's intriguing. But then the second game comes out and it's like that close your eyes dun dun dun and it's like all the gang getting ready to burrow down and take the fight to the locusts under the ground

and then when the music picks up it's like dun dun dun all of the drills start going down and they're just like, fuck yeah, we're going down now. And then the third one is like dark right because the fight's not going well and like it's they're one of them they're

running and they're running through bodies that have been turned to nothing but ash and every time they run through one they're just poofing and fucking Dom falls on the ground he's just about to die and Marcus comes on and kills the bad guy and he's like here take the. Marcus comes on and kills the bad guy. He's like, here, take the gun. We've got to get back in the fight.

They keep going again. Then the third commercial for that game, for the third game, is a poem written by a World War I soldier. It's like, I have a rendezvous with death at some disputed outpost. It's this long poem about about this from this world war one soldier who was looking forward to the point when he died he knew it was coming he knew it it had to come there was no way he could survive through this but he was still fighting and as you're listening to this it's marcus phoenix walking through a cave dragon a locust like

those monsters and he comes upon dom who's sitting there wounded and he can't even stand and his head's down and marcus is like get back he puts the rifle in his hands and dom says yeah all right he can sit up and defend himself at least now and as the as the poem finishes music starts kicking up bum bum bum bum bum and marcus is overlooking this whole cavern where there's a huge battle going on that they are not winning, where there's all of the scariest of the locusts

coming down upon maybe four of his comrades. And it's just machine gun fire lighting the cavern up. And he fucking gets the locust up like in a rear naked choke with one hand and throws the rifle around the other. And right about then, the locust wakes up and goes, wait, where the fuck am I? And he starts running with the locust carrying him

as the bullets are hitting the locust instead and the blood's flying. And he's just fighting, just fighting. And the music just goes, dun, dun, dun, dun. And the camera pans down to the fucking ground. And you're just like, I've got to go through this shit. I feel like you could write video game commercials at this point with i certainly remember as good as they used to say they're not as good as they used to be no i can't remember a single commercial us

no no it's not just us look at look at this because you're in a different place the premise is that video game commercials aren't as good as they used to be. Not. Just commercials aren't as good as they used to be. That being said, I can't remember something I watched yesterday or commercials I've watched within the past week.

Do you think that has to do with your career choice? Probably. More than likely so. You're like, man, I've got five movies I watch on a rotation every time. The Pullain Dynamite I've seen like six times. Middle of the Shawshank Redemption,. You're like, man, I've got five movies I watch on a rotation every time. Napoleon Dynamite, I've seen like six times. Middle of the Shawshank Redemption, I'm always like, is he going to get out?

Watching Home Alone, like, run, Kevin, run! He's going to get you! 500 yards of shit and all that. You get that happy feeling. 500 yards. The length of five football fields. Kyle, are there any outros? There are no outros.

Josh, where should we tell our fans to find you? My new YouTube is just scjosh and if you type in Strain Central, usually it comes up. And then Instagram is strain underscore central. Twitter is strain central. That's about it.

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