Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #421

Episode Date: January 18, 2019

On this week's PKA, we have on Blame Truth... yes it's been MANY, MANY years but we bring back the most OG of the OGs from the Call of Duty commentator community to kick back and relax with the guys and he entertains everyone with sharing what it was like to own a Dodge Hellcat, then everyone watches an SJW vape store employee lose his marbles when a Trump supporter shows and things are topped off when a crazy homeless man brings in a dead racoon and slams it onto a table inside of a McDonald's. It's a killer episode this week.

Welcome to Painkiller Already, episode 421, with our guest Blame Truth, obviously doing his Jesus cosplay, as you can all see. Sorry, I have no camera. I've been poking away at that for over an hour, well over an hour now, and we just decided to start the show. So, I'm sure you'll be kind. Anyway, Kyle? A couple of sponsors tonight, Postmates and Lending Club. We'll talk about those guys later on the show of course but yeah we've got a real call of duty og and and and and the definition of og right like you were the first call of duty guy that i ever saw i i was i got into hutch and he's probably the one who sort of inspired me to like get my own capture card and all that stuff but i was definitely aware of your stuff long before hutch was even a thing. When did you start man? Oh Man, I started I think it was fresh out of fucking high school. I think I started

Wherever my channel says whenever I made it long before you can grow a beard like that. Yeah I had a fucking beard at like 14. I got No, it was it was Sometime in 2007 mid 2007 because i just graduated i think and then i started on my youtube channel and recorded a fucking i recorded from a dazzle from a vhs from a vcr because that's all we had back then so yeah i'm always literally the first guy to voice over a cod game i thought you might be i think so as far as i know yeah uh but that could be debatable and people like to say like i did this new crazy thing but i'm like if i didn't

do it somebody else would have done it like probably xcal or hutch you know one of those guys so it's not that big of a deal but i think i was the first either way yeah huh i ran into xcal the other day and uh and cod uhod. He's just so talented. I don't get it. Those Asian genes are so strong he just has some sort of chi running through his veins that allows him to channel

some sort of ancient Asian warrior spirit that allows him to be a dominant fucking video game player. I remember playing zombies with him and he would just be outrageous warrior spirit that allows him to be a dominant fucking video game player i remember like playing like zombies with him and and and he would just be outrageous but then you'd see him play call duty and he'd be like oh yeah i just found this new way to use the riot shield modern warfare 2 it's pretty simple you just you just press x x y x trigger trigger x y x and it he slaps people

extra hard with the shield he does it yeah it was like a double bump. I remember watching that video, what, eight years ago and being like, this looks so easy. If he can do it, I can do it. And all I end up doing is like missing, putting it on my back and dying. That's not how X-Shelpings work. Yeah. He was way better than everybody else.

Still is. He's the second best player I think I've ever seen, honestly. Who's numero uno? Ron oh ronaldinho yeah oh yeah yeah he's also asian so ah see yeah see there's dude when they finally add esports to the olympics asia is gonna be like the west africa is to sprinting or like endurance races like it's always, I think I was seeing something where it was like, you have to go all the way down to like 11th place in the world to find someone who's not

like West African or East African or something in running, in distance running. Same thing. There aren't going to be any whites, any blacks, any Hispanics in the top 10 of gaming in esports in the Olympics. It's going to be all It just makes sense. It just makes sense. A lot of them.

Blame tooth. Blame tooth. Blame tooth. Wait, what? I said it wrong. I'm sorry. Yeah.

Oh dude. We played together all the time back in the day. He, the reason that don't tell X, I said this, I think X, I think X cows, the better objective player.

Cause me and X color, you know, still pretty, really tight. But, uh, I think X cows, the better objective player because me and xcal are you know still pretty really tight but uh i think xcal is the better objective player but as far as just killing people impressively i think ron has the slight edge and uh me and ron would play model warfare 3 back in the day and i'm not exaggerating every other game he would drop a moab every other game like fucking clockwork like one game he'd be like i'm taking taking this one off like you try to get one the next game you would get one he's fucking crazy so yeah

you bring it back these old man i used to play with people who were very good i don't know if they were that good but we were getting bombarded by guys who ran noob tubes and uh what was the launcher called you can put it as a secondary. Thumper. China Lake. The China Lake. That was the terrible one. Yeah, yeah. They had the China Lake and they had the noob tube on.

And we were just, we weren't getting crushed or anything, but we weren't having any fun because all the deaths were instant deaths and it felt terrible. And we're like, oh, Preyas, can you just get a moab so we don't have to finish and he's like yeah of course and he didn't he did it took him like three and a half minutes or something it was crazy i remember we were playing with uh remember we were playing with junkyard that night in modern warfare 2 and junkyard had never gotten a nuke ever and we had all gotten a nuke you know first week of the game we all knocked one out and put it on YouTube or whatever.

It's hard, but like you play all day, you get a couple. He'd never gotten one and he's supposedly like a commentator, so it's a little absurd. So we're like,

we're going to support him and help him get one and we played like four games of this supporting him and he's gotten like eight kills. Hey guys, doing a junkyard quickie. I know this clip,

I go 0-4, but I went on a 25 streak right after. Trust me. Go to my channel and check me out. And check back tomorrow for three more Junkyard Quickies. And everybody else's videos will be sitting in their Dropbox until 2019. If I remembered my fucking Dropbox account and password,

I could log in there now and find multiple Machinima videos. Go message Shore Wars right now. I was a fucking nobody. And so they gave no preference to my shit. So we've been doing this for four or five games, and it's a little frustrating, but we're still having fun or whatever. We're supporting this guy. And my buddy Socrates joins the party chat.

He's fucking good. Yeah, and I was like, Sock, what are you guys up to? I'm like, Junkyard's trying to get a nuke, and it's not going well. He's like, ah, let me see what I can do. And he gets a nuke that game. He gets a nuke that game. Junkyard is at five kills camping somewhere, and Sock's at 24, and he's like, should I drop it?

And I'm like, yeah, you should drop it. Fuck this guy. Fuck this guy. What was that rumor that got started about junkyard that he caused machinima to get taken down wasn't that a thing wait that was that was a rumor i never heard about that wait did you not hear the rumor or did you not hear it wasn't true i didn't hear either i didn't hear either okay i know kyle was the ringleader behind this i was the ringleader behind it. Essentially, a bunch of us used to jump into Skype. That's how PKA got started. We would have...

Yeah, we won't revisit this story for too long. But essentially, PKA spawned from us hanging out on Skype and just shooting the shit with other commentators. I don't know. It was me and XJaws and a handful of other guys. Essentially, Mission went down for a day because of some bullshit strikes or something like that. And we decided to blame Junkyard for it.

And we just all went on social media and blamed him for it. And he freaked out, posted a video cursing, which was way out of character. I did see that video. I took that video and I edited it and chopped it up to make him look extra bad. And then we uploaded that. And we just enjoyed trolling Junkyard

because he was getting so much preferential treatment or whatever uh over everyone else like you know i think he was born out of envy right he was a machinima premier director i think i think blade truth was also i was i don't think he was i think it was ken burton actually i just knew them as the two old guys on the i'm actually pretty sure Junkyard was too. I know that Junkyard both were. Junkyard tried to be... They had a contest, right, where everyone was going to submit a video, and you were going to try to become the next premier

director, because somebody left. And I remember, like, FPS Russia, I put up the first gun video ever. That didn't make it for some reason. Odd. And then Junkyard put one in and it was like him and one other guy or whatever, maybe Dr. Disrespect

and I want to say that Junkyard got more votes, but they still just didn't give it to him. And he was real bummed out about it. But we were happy because he was trash at the game and mad at everything. And an old man who sold shoes from home on eBay and he just didn't belong.

So whatever. To me it such thing as he didn't belong. To me, it wasn't that he was old, maybe because I was also old. It was just like, I didn't really think he was a gamer. He's going 1 and 3. You don't actually like games. You're not playing much, but you're

doing this as a job. It's like he's taking advantage of our community. He seemed like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole so yeah he was taking advantage of our community like like sometimes when a new what you'll see like gamers jump into a new game or whatever like the the next in a series and the people who have been in that series for like a generation they're like whoa what are you what are you doing over here you're not a gears guy you're not a you're not a starcraft guy you're just you're just here? You're not a Gears guy. You're not a StarCraft guy. You're just here for the views and the subs or whatever. You don't even have a passion for this like we do.

And that was Junkyard. He didn't have a Call of Duty passion. He didn't have any skill at all. I just went and looked at Machinima's channels. Are they totally under now? Are they no longer a thing at all? Because their big channel hasn't uploaded more than twice in the last year. What, my channel?

Are they totally dead? I thought they were kind of eking along. I'm still partnered under them on my main channel. For money purposes. I guess they're still around, but they're not in the network now. You're a premier director now, I guarantee it.

I remember when they expanded the premier director thing to just mean everyone and like they sent out an email and i was in the echelon of who gives a fuck and so i got one and i was like oh hell yeah that's pretty neat and then like i went to other people's channels who had like at the time i probably had like 80 000 subs and i would go to like a 20,000 sub channel, and they'd have in like big caps, like Premier Director of Machinima. I was like, God damn it. Like they let the Vanguard in when it was worthwhile, and then...

Yeah, that was a company ran by a couple of cokeheads who were bad at business and wasted so many resources on so many projects instead of focusing on the golden geese that were laying fucking eggs left and right they had they had it they had the whole game sewed up the gaming sphere they had it sewed up but they didn't know how to had a they know what they were doing and they fucked it all up and they lost they they gave a contract to everybody when they should have been focusing

on like 20 30 people yeah absolutely thousands they wanted to like do this quick cash grab because they couldn't see the long game so they they're like oh we need 500 directors a thousand directors no you need to focus on 20 guys and you need to reinforce those guys with with what you do and build up what they do and have them you need to have hutch working with this guy and then you need to have mr sart work with that guy and then you need to fly out five or ten directors and do like a real life like series with them you need to you need to to mix everybody's subs together until everybody rises up and that would have been fucking awesome too yeah yeah if they if they flew out 20 of us and did like a paintball day or something like that that would be cold yeah some shit like that or like a real life gun thing in the in the cali

desert and nevada desert or something like that's the shit they should have been doing and said they're like oh let's make some real life mortal combat thing that that 400 000 people will watch once and then never come back again but it'll look way bigger than it is because it has to be on everybody's page as their featured video yeah yeah. Yeah. Hey, guys, we want you all to not make money on the videos you make, but make us money on the videos that we make instead. And it's like, wait, what's in this for me? I do it for like a day or a few hours and flip it back.

Yeah, do you remember when they sent out that shit where they're like, all right, even for the videos you post on your channel, we want you to add the machinima pre-roll and the machinima post-roll. And I was like, no. Like, no, I'm not doing that like what are you you're gonna check my channel i just refused to do it i was like i'm good i'm good well you were big enough too big to fail like a bank yeah they they appreciated me and and they were they're very nice to me like the owners came to

my house a few times and and they were nice guys. Did they at least offer some cocaine? They never... I was never offered cocaine, no. But I always noticed that he needed a lot of Kleenex. He was very sniffly. He's got damn nosebleeds, man. I'm telling you, it's the time of year. It's the middle of summer.

It just rained out. Jesus, Aaron, what's wrong with you? No, they were very nice to me sometimes, but there were some things I didn't care for as well. It was a mixed bag with Machinima, so whatever. I appreciated a lot of things they did, but I also was really disgusted with the way they handled their business and the millions of dollars that they wasted.

Millions, tens of millions perhaps. Last time I went through and checked your channel, Blame Truth, admittedly it's been years, you were doing all Pokemon stuff. Do you still do that at all? Or you kind of just play what you want

to play? You're not too worried about the job aspect anymore? I play what I want to play. I have this weird like i mean my youtube channels are pretty fucking dead that's why i switched to twitch but like it's i've got this cult like i don't want to call them cultists but i got like a cult like fan base that i could like take a shit i could i could make a video taking a shit eating peanut butter like on the toilet and they probably watch it and donate trolly Minecraft songs

while I do it. I just play whatever. I try to do whatever. I try to do a variety. I think after this session, I'm doing a fucking house cleaning stream, which would never go over normally, but my house is disgusting. So, yeah.

That's good. Too long, good to read just i just do whatever yeah yeah i haven't made a youtube video jesus christ well i don't have a cult following nobody cares so that explains watch if you made a little content especially some real life content oh i'm sure they would yeah real life maybe i'll do like some working out shit like i'm having some friends over this weekend to put together my power rack and get all that assembled and everything because after, like, after I spoke on

PKN where I'm like, if I try and put this together by myself, I'm gonna crack my head open. Well, I tried anyway, and I almost cracked my head open, and so I put it away until I have friends there, and so who knows? Maybe I'll do something like that. And hey, if you ever... Taylor, I think you should try again. I should try? No, I'm not trying again. Dude, it is fucking heavy!

If I have faith in you you I think you're just the man for the job if you ever come play some Rust or something with us you could definitely upload that I bet people would love that I shared with Taylor a little clip earlier of my buddy we have this feud in Rust

with our neighbor where he's complaining to the admins about us he accuses us of cheating. And we're talking to the admin on Discord and the admin's like, this guy's a little bitch. Look at him cry. But he can't say that publicly. He's just saying that to us. And we're like, yeah,

we hate him. The guy's name... I won't say the guy's name because people would message him and link him to this video and warn him that we're raiding his ass at 5 a.m. Eastern Time. We're coming. We're offline and you, you little bitch, we're raiding his ass at 5 a.m eastern time we're coming we're offline and you you little bitch we're coming for your shit we got 25 satchels we got five ak's we're coming we're coming it's been planned for three days that's the way rust works like the last three days we've had him in our crosshairs and we're coming for him and it's funny how serious kyle's

taking this because like we said it took us a while like about an hour later than usual to get started tonight and Kyle was like I've got a raid at 5am I gotta be ready for my raid I gotta be sharp and agile ready to take down this fucker I think you're gonna do it you'll be fine especially if he's not even online you could hop on at 10am

we could do it right now but we'd have to fight him and we might lose a guy we wanna go at 5am we to get in there and at our leisure you know take over his base make it our base and then like grief his base so you know like put his name on the outside and call him a i don't know some word that i probably wouldn't say on on the internet and uh you know you could put signs on things in the game so we're gonna put a massive sign on his base and be like, you know, X X Dragon Slayer is a piece of shit or whatever. This is what happens when you're a bad neighbor.

You know, that sort of thing. Why does it matter if one of you dies in your party? Doesn't it just drop all the loot? They spawn back and you can just pick it up for them and deliver. Yeah, but I want to make sure the raids is successful and that we don't lose anything. And there's also a fear of being counterrated because when you start throwing explosives, you're very loud and people can rush

and sort of counter raid you. And so that's why we want to go at like 5 or 6 a.m. Eastern time because nobody else will be online. There'll be like 18 total people in the whole server and we can jump in there and knock his walls down in 30 seconds, be in, rebuild the walls behind us,

and at our leisure, we can loot his stuff and take probably 100 hours of his hard work and make it ours. Can you tell if he's in there? No. Oh, so you raid predicting he's not in there, but you can't be sure. He's online right now, I know that.

I was in there a little while ago and he was talking shit. He was in there two hours ago and judging on... I played with him last night, and we won probably 80% of our engagements with this guy, and we already blew one of his bases and killed him. But we're going to take his main base in the morning. It's very fun. It's very fun

to have a mission and get five guys working toward that mission, and everyone knows what we're working toward. If you're mining sulfur, you know why you're mining sulfur. It's to make satchel charges because we're going to put them on Dragon Slayer's base. We're going to take all his shit. It's very

fun to have that sort of mission statement, that sort of objective in mind in a game. By the way, I mentioned on PKN, I'll quickly say this. If you're a hardcore Rust player, you got a thousand hours or something, you get a PvP, message me online, OFPSKyleO on Steam and I'd happily add you to our team. Someone on the subreddit

said that they'd love to be your resource slave. Yeah, I got a lot of messages for resource slaves. A lot of people checking in. A couple guys who are off for taking a year off from school and that sort of thing. They're willing to work eight hours a day. Well, at least they're not wasting that time. Just the kind of man we need.

So do you have your alarm set for like 4 55 in the morning or do you have like a pre-raid ritual where you have to get up and yeah yeah there'll definitely be a pre-running in place I'll probably go to to Waffle House get myself a a whole like bucket of coffee get myself a you know a croissant or a biscuit or something like that and then hit it hard yeah i'm gonna get up at four when i want long lasting all-day energy i get a biscuit from waffle house dude that that i've been watching kyle's rust evolution and it's fun right because three weeks ago he's like oh rust is this game you gather for hundreds of hours and build a base now he's like game you gather for hundreds of hours and build a base now he's like rust is this game you gather for hundreds of hours and then you hunt someone else's face he's gone from gatherer to hunter already yeah absolutely yeah i i i've watched um probably three or four hours that's more than

that probably six or eight hours of like rust videos of the best guys in the game um there's this guy named h june coincidentally nothing nothing to take from this but he's asian and he is the fucking he is the fucking shroud of of rust it's out fucking outrageous like like we struggle to win to kill two guys at once we struggle to kill one guy at once sometimes depending on what weapon we got this guy is just like headshot he's dead headshot he's dead is just like, headshot, he's dead. Headshot, he's dead. Headshot, he's dead.

Headshot, he's dead. It's ridiculous to watch him. I've been watching a ton of Rust videos online and then playing a ton of Rust. When I dream, it's Rust. When I dream, I am in Rust and I am with my friends in real life, like as me, like playing Rust. But to control my bodily functions i'm using a mouse and keyboard i know that doesn't make sense but like to throw things i'm like right holding right click like when i want are you always winning in your dreams or is it often no

no it's terror and fear and running it's always it's nightmare of Rust. It's what it is. Because Rust is a scary game. When you start dreaming about nothing but the game you're playing, that really is indicative of something going on in your mind, right? Absolutely. It's starting to think of everything in terms of those games.

I've definitely dreamt about playing Magic the Gathering before, but I've never done it with the buttons. I i'm dreaming of clicking cards into playing things i'm rust is programmed into my subconscious 100 because i've just been doing it so much it's all i've been doing you know for and not for like four hours at a time or eight hours at a time for 12 15 20 hours at a time and and blame truth you You played quite a bit of Rust, right? Years ago? I didn't even know it was years old.

I played right when it came out for like a week. About a week. I didn't play a lot. It wasn't really fleshed out then, though. So it wasn't super addicting, you know? But yeah, I played a little bit of it. Yeah, you should hop on. If you care to, you could always play with us.

I've got a pretty big group that I'm playing with, and everybody's kind of into it like i am um my just my little gaming discord i guess is kind of built around me they're all like they like me i'll just say that and and we're all good friends and so they like they want to play with me and and so if i play a new game everybody's like yeah yeah i'll give it a shot i'll buy it and so like eight of us bought it and so now i've got a lot of people playing the game and everybody seems to really enjoy it it's it is fleshed out more than it was years ago it it looks a lot better it's a pretty game uh especially if you got a decent pc uh decent rig you know it i'm running a 1080i and i get 100 frames at pretty good quality and it looks nice i'm playing in um playing in 4k 1080p 440p 1440 yeah yeah 1440 um

i've moved uh i saw a monitor the other day that's coming out it's the like what is it chis like is it the 49 inch 5k dell monitor is that is that what it is i didn't even know 5k was a thing i didn't either it's been announced um yeah it's 49 inches no Yeah, it's 49 inches. No, I think it's 5K, bro. I'm almost positive. Yeah, yours... I'm positive it's 5K, Chiz. What does 5K mean? Like there's 5,000 more pixels or something?

Yeah, like 1080p is 1920 by 1080, and then 4K would be 3980 by something 21 something 2840 or something it's something like that yeah i don't have it memorized i don't either and then uh 5k would be even more than 4k and then there's 8k televisions i know now somewhere for like fucking hundreds of dollars yeah something like that so i've been re-watching planet earth 2 or not planet 2 like deep blue sea 2 or planet earth 2 one of those like bbc high quality nature documentaries on my 4k tv and like it i know i'm not alone in this because i've heard other people say it's like so realistic like the fur on the monkeys and shit that you don't even believe that it's real like i was sitting watching with my girl and she's like this is this, this is, this is CGI. There's no way this is like a whale.

Like that's how good the whale is. And I was like, it definitely is. It's definitely a whale. The one thing that I don't like about a planet earth two is the sound editing because all of the sound editing is obviously fake. Like they don't have mics underwater, like picking up the bubbles for these little crabs and shit.

But they had had one thing where it was just jets of some gas coming out of the ocean floor. And instead of having the sound that you'd imagine, they put in Nagasaki bomb sound effects. Like, pew! Pew!

And I'm like, this is taking me out of it! They put in the MW2 noob tube sound effect or something. They did. The one main army thing. Yeah. 4K, there's got to be a point where it's diminishing returns with these Ks, right? Like, how much more detailed can the human eye even perceive?

My eyes are shit, so I'm getting towards the end. I tried to start streaming in 4K, and I just don't think the technology is there yet. People were asking me and telling me like, is it really that big of a difference from 1080p? And I'm like, yeah, that is like, once you notice it,

it's like hard to go back. Not that 1080p is bad, but it's like the higher you go up, you know, it's a bit different from 1080 to 1440 in my opinion. Like, like, um,

I got the, uh, that ultra wide 1440p monitor and i'm like fucking shit i'm playing on a standard one right now because long story but i'm playing on a standard one right now but uh i was setting up the ultra wide one for uh for kitty the other day and i was like god damn can i i think i want to just take this back. I started playing a YouTube video of Battlefield in 1440 in ultra-wide, and I was like, God damn, this looks good. It's so nice. But yeah, 4K is amazing. The tech hasn't

caught up to 4K yet. I don't think I heard what you were saying. You're saying the jump from 1080 to 1440 is bigger or smaller than 1440 to 4K? Where's the help? Both are big jumps. I would say they're equal. You definitely noticed the difference between 1440 to 4k like where's the oh where's the help both are big jumps i would say they're equal you know like like you definitely notice the difference between 1440 and 4k like like like you it's it's like oh oh shit now it's real life that that monkey looks fucking real it could bite

me so what you want is like an ultra wide 4k and a whatever 2180 ti or something yeah yeah like like you'd need two 2080 ti's and then still only get 60 frames per second probably yeah the situation uh and i don't even think that i don't i don't know if the monitors that are in 4k have caught up to 144 hertz yet i don't know if there is a 4k 144 hertz monitor yet uh that's i think the best they can do is 120 and if even that i think most are 60 hertz still because it's just such a demanding resolution. The tech hasn't caught up. It'll be the next generation of graphics cards, maybe.

The 2180 or something like that might be able to do that shit. For now, we haven't caught up yet. My recommendation is always 1440 and try to get 144 hertz, and you're golden.

128 ETI of power, that keeps you maxed out in most games. I don't know anything about the game Destiny, other than I played it right when it came out, and then once you hit level 20, it was like, all right, if you want to get to level 21, you've got to collect 600 helium filaments all across the universe. And I did that for four minutes, and and was like, nah, this is dumb. Apparently,

Bungie Activision just broke up and Bungie is going to make a new Destiny. Did any of you guys play that game? It was fun up until level 20. It really was. Destiny kind of overshot me because every shooter except COD I'm more into on the PC. It seems like Destiny was more into the console

game first and then by the time it came to PC like Destiny 2 came out what a month or two after the console release and it's like I'm a little spoiled but I don't want to be playing the shooter at like 30 FPS on a PS4 you know like I want to be playing on the PC so I just usually skip it because they

kind of dick around with the PC releases and I don't really like that same thing with red dead i i want to play red dead but yeah i'm not buying a fucking playstation you know like i made the switch to pure pc like maybe three years ago or something like that and i i i'm trying to get better mouse and keyboard you know slowly but steadily i'm getting pretty good at it and and and i'm not going back to a controller i spent eight years getting good at a controller and and that's all gone now so so so like i'm not going back i'm not going back to that that's good i still i mix and match it i still do cod on a console just because i i can get better at it on pc i was pretty good years ago but i just prefer

it on console i guess it's nostalgic because that's how I started. Still play on console. I don't know. Still looks good, too. Yeah, I hear you for sure. I got tired of buying the consoles. In the last three years, it seems like they've started really ramping up the Xbox One, Xbox One X,

Xbox One X.2, Xbox One X.3. Every year, they're going to crank one out now and it's like i'd rather just buy a gpu every year be done with it like i'm okay yeah it's cheaper now to actually go the pc route because when you factor in online fees and them constantly upgrading things especially with 4k tech now it's like i really want to keep up with that or just you know put a new graphics card in my pc every few years like yep i'll take the latter option usually and then sell the old graphics card even so exactly i agree i agree 100 i've got a 1080 ti right now and i'm contemplating the 2080 ti uh just to get a few more frames or

whatever but yeah if you really want to i mean i'd say go for it i got a 1070 but i'm in 1080p still so i just you know stick with that for the time being but yeah if you streamed kyle you'd go back to 10 1080 right no no i would step up to a 20 i'd get a bigger graphics card and i'd probably just run two machines like one machine would be my streaming machine and one would be uh my gaming machine anyway i've done that and it's the highest twitch the highest twitch can do is 1080 before yeah it'll just downgrade it I'll just stream in 1080 and play in my current resolution. Yeah. Yeah, I got the two streaming rig,

or the gaming PC and the streaming PC, and it's fucking so much better, because I can run Skyrim with 4K texture mods and all this crazy shit, and still get max FPS, and stream comfortably. So two rigs is the way to go it's a little complicated to set up but yes skyrim is a game that i grinded on a console back in the day and

you know probably clocked a thousand hours or so but i've been smart enough not to install it on my fucking pc because i know what'll happen i put fallout 4 on and got into modding for the first time and i get i have that obsessive personality right so like i became a modder within within the course of two weeks you know i'm modding it's more fun than playing sometimes yeah i'm editing i and i files to make ultra wide work for fallout and i'm fucking like like downloading all of this this these bullshit programs to help me change the meshes and and by the time i'm done my character is like this giant titted version of one of the walking dead characters who looks exactly like her to the point where i had to

i showed people screenshots and oh yeah i recognize her that's the lady from walking dead i'm like yeah she's my fallout character now though tits mcgee is her name and she fucks shit up and just i don't know how many hours i fall at four o'clock i never modded really any game i don't think but every time i would look up mods on skyrim i would always expect it to be like oh and the armor looks way sicker and sometimes that would be it but usually it was like yeah this one basically what it does is it adds hair to the naked pussies on the other mod i already put on the game yeah yeah it adds 30 original and unique pussies with different lengths of labia majora and menorah

and different sized clits. You know, I added the hermaphrodism. I spent an hour deciding what my character's pussy was going to look like. An hour. I was like, first of all, I want a landing strip. And second of all, it's definitely got to be an innie. And I was like, I'm downloading all these innie pussies And second of all, it's definitely got to be an Annie. And I was like, I'm downloading all these Annie pussies,

trying to find the one that's going to work for me. I don't know how many mods I downloaded before I found one that had the breast physics just right, so that when she would fire the gun, the titties would jiggle just right. Or when she would run, the titties would jiggle. When you download all those mods, are you like, all right, now let's get to playing, or do you just, like, take a couple shots,

you're like, oh, that's hilarious, all right, for another time, and then you go and just not even play anymore? I would play, but, like, I would spend maybe a whole day just on the mods, like, trying to make the game my version of the game, right? Like, I don't want to break the game and make it so easy that it's not fun to play, but at the same time, I want to improve the game, right? I don't want to break the game and make it so easy that it's not fun to play, but at the same time, I want to improve the game and make it

better than what Bethesda put out, because Bethesda's a garbage game developer, by the way. Bethesda is awful. They're one of the worst game developers in the whole fucking world. They had one. I don't know what they do.

Elder Scrolls. Oblivion. Oblivion. Okay, Oblivion, for what it's worth, I literally couldn't beat the game three different fucking times because some game-ending glitch happened. Yeah. So, yeah, I'm kind of in agreement. Skyrim was good.

It still had its bugs, but... Skyrim's their only game, and they've made it 37 fucking times for everything. They're about to put it out on the Amazon Fire. I guarantee, I guarantee, mark my words, you'll be able to play Skyrim on the Amazon Fire next year. Just wait. It'll happen.

They'll turn the Amazon Fire little plug-in thing into a gaming console, and you'll be playing Skyrim on that bitch. No, they've made one good game ever. Fallout 3 is okay. It's so full of glitches. The modders saved that game. Without modding, Fallout 3 is bad and fallout 4 same fucking thing and fallout 76 is is just a disappointment

you were beyond disappointed they didn't make new vegas obsidian made it oh you're right yeah you're right yeah obsidian is a real game developer those are people that you know you want to follow up with them and like see what they're cooking up next and and try to like if i could buy i'd buy stock and fucking obsidian those people know what they're fucking doing new vegas was incredible they're making a new game um it's like a i don't remember how to describe it but it's it's a bit like fallout 76 in space if i remember or not or excuse me fallout three yeah i think i saw the chat for that, actually. Yeah, it looks great. It looks great.

I'll buy whatever they put out, but I won't buy another Bethesda game before I see reviews and actual YouTubers playing it. Now that I'm thinking about it, they did have game-ending glitches, at least for certain paths in the game. I remember for one character, at least, I always liked to go in the Assassin Guild one because that was way more fun.

That was like the funnest group you could join. And I remember after like the two lame bullshit assassinations that you have to start with where it's like, hey, there's this like farmer walking around. Just sneak up on him or don't. Just sprint over and murder him if you prefer. Like you could do whatever you wanted. And then I would go back to talk to the mother.

And then she would never get past her first talking point she'd be like you must kill the the deacon of the south like yeah i did here's his head the deacon of the south roman child he's here you're like kill the deacon and you may join the club it's like you know what i'm gonna go join the really dumb thieves guild where I can go steal pottery and give it to some ingrate douche who never does anything for me until I eventually get tired of it, kill everyone there,

and steal the loot that they have. You can use a skeleton key, though. Then you can open any door. Bethesda taught me that you need... Playing Oblivion taught me that you need more than one save file to play in your games. You need multiple save files. I saved three fucking times on skyrim like three different fucking

exact same save in case yeah garbage games bad developer uh i i met one of the um higher ups at bethesda one time at a bar and i i really should have fucked her she was like 40 though and but but she was super super flirty at PAX Prime in Seattle. I'm going to fuck you the way you fucked my ability to enter the feed field. You remember how that multiple ring glitch ruined the game? I'm going to ruin your pussy. I totally should have. Thinking back, she totally wanted to.

She was enamored. And I was just like, kind of i was just like yeah cool game or whatever but i wasn't i it didn't click like i didn't know who bethesda was at the time i played skyrim but i didn't know that like these people make skyrim and uh and or i played oblivion and skyrim was about to come out i think maybe and uh and she was like did you play skyrim at the at the conference and i lied i was like yeah it's play Skyrim at the conference? And I lied. I was like, yeah, it's great. It's great. You should have been like, you know,

I put all my points into stamina. Gil, I'm about to steal your heart. Looking back, I totally should have went after that. I could have been a playable character in one of these Fallout games. I could have been a playable character in one of these Fallout games. That would have been cool. If I had just taken care of that 40-year-old pussy.

Oh, she was a nice older woman? She was older than me. But she was looking okay. But there was a dirty slut at the bar who was wearing a skirt so that every time she moved, you could see the bottom of her ass cheeks, and I was kind of focused on that at the time who was wearing a skirt so that every time she like moved you could see her the bottom of her ass cheeks and i was kind of focused on that at the time understandable yeah it was it was it was a real problem she was younger and hotter but you should have did you fuck her

no she was she turned out to be a real real cock tease and uh me and another youtuber like chased her around all night like like she was a dog in heat and then she just went to her hotel room and went to sleep and we're both like well what the fuck was she she was just fucking with us huh like yeah she got what she wanted yeah i was like i thought i was gonna have to fight you bro he's like yeah same i was like that bitch it's like yeah fuck her man she turned us against meanwhile if she had chosen either one of you you'd be in that room being like the other guy's a fucking creep like totally totally she could have chosen one of you, you'd be in that room being like, that other guy's a fucking creep. Oh, totally. Totally. She could have chosen both of us.

I'd have been down. But she just went back up to her room and just laughed probably. That dirty whore. That dirty whore. I guess we were also dirty whores. Women. We wanted to fuck her.

Right. That dirty whore didn't fuck us. She was walking around in this short-ass skirt with no panties underneath, or at least a thong, and she's just showing her ass all night long and being super giggly and flirty and touching us. And it was just like, where are you? She's trying to get free shit in college drama.

I ain't got no goddamn free shit, bitch. What do you want, an FBS Russia t-shirt? Get the fuck out of here. Let's go. Let's go. I'm at the hyatt you're at the hyatt in your 45 room hey hey i spent double what i usually spend taylor i'm at 87 this week no i wasn't at the hyatt everybody we always got nice hotels like like the the youtubers would always like get in one hotel we always got nice hotels like like the the youtubers would

always like get in one hotel and it would be kind of like the cheapest hotel in town like whenever we traveled somewhere but i was traveling with kitty and her standards were higher i guess than mine or anyone else's and she's like no we won't stay there we're going to a nice place and we'd pay like 500 a fucking night for a room so we'd have a nice hotel. Whatever. I have a couple of interesting topics here. Sure. So let me know what you want.

I have a very creepy man who was caught on a ring doorbell. I also have a homeless man who brought a dead animal into a restaurant. I also have a UFC fighter who beat a man so badly that I feel sorry for him. Kicker is the UFC fighter is a girl. Man, she's cute. I also have a car getting crushed by a road sign. It looks pretty brutal. I don't know if they died, but they're lucky if they didn't. And the coup de grace, this is a chis plant. I have a social justice warrior going the fuck off on a guy wearing a Trump hat inside of a vape shop. He's the worker at the vape shop, and he is losing his goddamn mind. Well, if that's the coup de grace of funny, I want to save that one.

The vape shop. All right. Well, I'm going to make an executive decision, and we're going to save that one. The vape shop. All right. Well, I'm going to make an executive decision, and we're going to go with this creepy man who was caught on a ring doorbell. This is one of the weirdest things I've ever seen. Now, if you don't have a ring doorbell, I don't think we're sponsored by them.

We may have been in the past. I don't think we currently are, but it's a great product, right? It records what's going on outside, lets you know who's out there, and I'm a fan of it. I use it. It's nice to know that my Uber Eats are here

and not some, like, psychopath or something like that. Not somebody licking your doorknob or whatever the fuck. Not somebody like this fella. Let me know when we're ready to play. I'm ready. I'm good. All right. Three, two, one, play.

So for those of you who are audio only, this is a silent video. What the? This man is approaching a doorbell and he is licking it like he's eating. He is on these people's front doorstep eating the pussy of their door. Yeah, I'm going to say he's not bad.

He's passionate about this. Look at this. Ooh, look at that rotation. Dude, the big sloppy dog licks are always a fan favorite. Oh, my God. You should see what I do with the real thing. Let me in. This guy has 400,000 views.

Oh, this is just on this copy of the video. He does this for three hours? For three hours! I have never given head that long. I never once. Like, maybe a good 20, 30 minutes. Like, if you really care about this young lady, you're trying to get her to have a great time, maybe.

But my jaw is going to seize up long before three hours and so that says one thing to us ladies and gentlemen this man is a serial doorbell licker yeah he licks for a living he's in tape otherwise how could he do that how could he have that stamina right right there's clearly a doorbell looking fitness that he has and we don't they caught him uh he was arrested uh it's it's a he was i want to say he was booked on charges of prowling yeah what are you charging yeah it was one of the charges was prowling and the other was like i don't know vagrancy or something you know some misdemeanor yeah felony silliness over there he really you could tell that like i'd like to know who lives there because that's important to me because like if it's a hot girl then you know that this guy probably stalked her

and he's obsessed with her like if it's just if that was taylor's doorbell then you could probably theorize that this guy's just a weirdo who looks doorbells right but if it's like a fitness model or something or like an instagram hoe like she better be watching her back uh literally because like this guy's coming this guy's coming criminal to catch like well he didn't know there was a ring doorbell system there they should sponsor us again because this is a great uh advertisement for for their product and their service because you catch those doorbell lickers in the act and now you don't go out there and dude but the ring itself the ring isn't spy gear it's not a hidden camera like part of the reason it's good is because you can

see it's there so people delivering packages or fucking with you are like oh i'm on camera i probably shouldn't do anything he knew it was there he was showing off his prowess yeah he was like she's gonna see this tomorrow and she's gonna be like three hours oh my you know he woke up the next night in a sweat Like, I didn't leave my number I never installed my ring And now I'm wondering I could have a doorbell sucker and not even know Yeah, you definitely do You definitely do I don't know if I definitely do

I'm going to be honest, Woody I've given it a few pecks Alright, well I definitely do that I come by by month I don't go to town like that, but I make out with it a little bit. You got that knocker out there. I fondle it while I service

your doorbell. What's the appropriate punishment for this? For licking that doorbell for three hours. Community service. Community service. And make sure he doesn't lick the entire time. Can I do it at the indoor department at Lowe's?

No, no, you can't, you bastard. I work in the indoor department. I work in the indoor department. For one thing, he's definitely got to come back with some Clorox, and he's got to sanitize my fucking doorbell. Yeah. He should have to buy him a new doorbell. That was a licking. You're not getting all that spit out of those references.

He deserves a real tongue lashing. His saliva probably broke down the actual unit, so yeah, it's a possibility. What if he got electrocuted? How great would that have been? He would have taken a funny video to a hilarious video. He gets to the wires. Oh.

What a douche. He's got to be on drugs or something. Have you ever seen that video? There's a video of this guy getting caught fucking the tailpipe of a car. We've seen that. And they're like, what the fuck are you doing, man? What the fuck? And he's just like,

I'm fucking a Honda. What's it look like? No shame. He's a Honda fucker. What car would you fuck if you had the option? Or if you were forced to? I want a dirty European, expensive, high-class ride. I'm going to fuck a Beamer

or an Audi for sure. Do I have time to tell a small story about a car fucking? Of course. I'll leave the show where longer. Okay. You have nothing but time. A few years ago, I actually had a,

I bought a Hellcat. I'll challenge your Hellcat. And one of the reasons I got rid of it was because it got way too much attention. I'm more of an introvert. I'm more of a keeps myself guy. I got it like, just cause I wanted it,

you know, not to like show off. And I'm heading into the, into a Walmartmart one night and i hear this weird noise kind of in the distance it's about i think it's the fourth of july yeah fourth of july um around 11 o'clock p.m est i'm walking in a park at walmart i walk in and i hear this like distant like like noise i'm thinking like that's a weird fucking bird to be out on 11 o'clock you know and i keep

walking in i keep hearing it and right when i get to the door i hear it in like it's full i guess volume and i hear it's someone in the parking lot somewhere shouting hellcat but they're shouting like like that and i'm like uh okay whatever and i go into the store and i grab like a jug of water or something i think i've been drinking and i was trying to get some fluid in me because it was hot as shit and i come back out with the water and he's literally like he he looked like he was fucking it he looked like the guy was there and he looked looked like he was fucking the hood almost. He's taking a selfie while he's doing it. I walk out, and I see him, and I stop. I'm like, what the fuck?

And he looks straight at me, still like I think he was recording a video or something. And he just looks straight at me, dead on, and just goes, and then proceeds to scurry away very chimp like very ape like scurry the way as god is my witness this happened a few months later a few months later i'm like this isn't worth it and i i sold it um just one guy got off the wagon i'm like this is too much this is way too much that's hilarious oh that's a great story that would be on meth you had to be on meth or something some sort of drug that was me i was enamored it's a nice car what are you gonna do okay i got home and i seriously as soon as i got home i i like i walked inside and i was like, wait a minute. And I go back out and I'm checking for fucking fluids on the car.

I swear to God. I didn't know if he licked it or actually did something to it, but it was clean. How long did you have it before the hellcat regret of getting catcalled by strange men in Walmart parking lots and convince you to sell it? It's funny because as a younger man, I mean, I've been doing YouTube for a while, but I'm still in my 20s. And as a younger man, you think, oh, if I buy a fucking sports car or something, like a cool car, I'm going to get tons of attention from women. I got maybe like one woman that actually gave a shit and the rest was just middle aged men. So after like getting fucking stopped at gas stations and getting chatted up by my ex-girlfriend's grandpa or something, I was like, it's not really worth it.

I don't like all this attention, especially from older men. Just to be clear, you didn't fuck any of the older men? That's not your thing? Did not fuck any of the older men, although I could have got a sugar daddy. Yeah. You'd make a good sugar baby. Thanks.

How far would you go for a sugar daddy i'm yeah you make a good sugar baby thanks how far would you go for a sugar daddy situation if you've got like a billionaire a warren buffett kind of guy and he's like i want you to be my cute little slave boy or whatever the hell he wants you to do and he's not gonna fuck you in the ass or do anything he just wants you to do little slave things and like maybe like have to dress in a kilt it's's really just dealer's choice. He decides everything. Maybe I wash his car and he sprays me with a hose a little while I wear a kilt. Yeah.

I'd do that for like $50,000. Let's go. Yeah, I'd do it for probably $10,000. People on my stream all the time ask me, would you suck a dick for a million dollars? And I'm like, I'd suck it for a year and make sure it's worth a million dollars. I gotta shame it for a year and make sure it's worth a million dollars. I gotta shame it.

It's just a dick. You'd wake up every morning at 8am like, sir, I'm not letting this year end without feeling like I've earned every penny of this million. My dick is just sore from sucking. It's day 130. I didn't think this would continue after the first couple. Sir,

once again, I'll untie you when the year is done. I would set an alarm like Kyle, wake up at fucking 4am, go to Waffle House, you know, get my croissants and biscuits and shit, and then go about it. I would take it seriously. Wings of Redemption used to say that he would fight

a guy for a better internet connection. He wasn't claiming that he'd win. He just like, I wrote out a date and be like, all right, motherfucker, here we go again. Have a daily fight. Oh, let's talk about Wings. Wings got his Twitch suspended. Do you know about this, Woody? No.

Oh, man. I'm AFK. So essentially, Wings doxed a guy who had charged back on him, said his full name. And he also intimated that perhaps if a hacker group came to him, that he might have to give them this guy's information. And I must say, about 48 hours later, account suspended. One week. Oh, only a week. Okay, so it's not a permanent thing yeah but this is strike one like next time it won't be so light has he been banned before judgment on that and i kind of like that i'm sorry blade two teeth i talked at the same time what did you say oh i was just asking

as a side if he'd been suspended before but continue continue i i so youtube will strike you for shit that you didn't do for things they don't understand you know i saw the guy have an unlisted or private video where he just did a mic check with his own voice and he got a copyright strike on that right it wasn't music it was just him talking on a private video to test his mic and he got a strike for it youtube makes a lot of mistakes twitch you can successfully argue that they don't apply the same standards everywhere but at least it's humans making the best judgment calls they know how and not just flat out mistakes i agree with that yeah that's actually got my channel my main blame trueameTruth channel with 300,000 subs-ish.

That got suspended for me uploading a video saying I was live on Twitch. But the thing is that I followed their guidelines to a T with that. And they had suspended me. And it took a week of fucking arguing and getting people to kind of... I think I had to talk to somebody that I knew behind the scenes at YouTube just to get it rectified because they had like denied appeals over and over and I'm like I'm literally sending them proof like hey here's what happened I followed your rules why my band like you know if you're gonna ban this at least like if you're gonna make a rule about that like uploading videos

telling people to go to Twitch there is you can't. They just don't want you to make the videos sole purpose to... It can't be a video that's just like, I'm live on Twitch on a black screen. It's got to be an actual video. That's all they require. I made it an actual video and they still banned me for it.

I had to, again, jump through hoops for a week just to get the channel back. YouTube's not very well organized because they don't, I don't know. I mean, it's obvious, but yeah, it's a mess over there. They can't do what Twitch does and use human judgment. Because they get, what, like 59 years of content an hour or something crazy like that? It's a lot, yeah. So they have to try to automate it and that's imperfect yeah that's how we get those channels like that uh that asian mother with all the

upskirts that i've been digging so much yeah how's her channel doing wash that car you dirty whore oh get it clean i love those videos she's got a kid so wings thinks that he was not in the wrong on this. Yeah, of course he does. That's Wings. His tweet was something like, I got suspended for seven days. Wouldn't be surprised if I'm suspended forever soon enough. That sort of thing.

I wonder if this seven days can be possibly good for him. Maybe a little vacation. He does that all the time. Wings can be possibly good for him. Like maybe a little vacation. He does it all the time. He can sell his mental health for money. Maybe. He does it all the time though. The other day when he got that $1,100 donation night, he took like six days off the next day. Instead of getting back in there the next day

and being like, maybe this will be a $500 day, right? Maybe Christmas goes two days. Maybe I can the next day and being like, maybe this will be a $500 day, right? Maybe Christmas goes two days. Maybe I can ride this high and be like, yesterday we made a grand. Maybe today we make $1,200. Let's go, power hour. Instead, he's like, I'm going to go sit in bed all day watching TV. If he was a UFC fighter, he'd be a Diaz brother, right?

Nothing's ever his fault. All these decisions where everyone's wrong but him, and if they get a payday, they fucking retire for three years. Yeah. Fuck those Diaz. I'm sick and tired of the Diaz brothers. I don't want to segue into UFC just yet, but fuck them. I saw Paige Van Zandt on Schaub's show with those big sexy.

Still hot as fuck? I was just staring at her thighs the whole time. She's wearing like short shorts and her thighs are so big and prominent and sexy and tan. Shob was trying to get after that. It was, I bet shop fucks her. I bet,

I bet, I bet shop fuck Ronda Rousey. She, no one's out of his league apparently. Well, that was before she was big, right? You know,

he, he got in there early. Smart move. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. he's a good looking woman but she like enjoyed that mermaid effect or whatever it's called where like she's unexpectedly pretty in a like not pretty situation where like she's not gorgeous or anything but she's like a decent looking ufc. Have you seen her dudes? No. Or maybe we looked at them on the show. I don't know.

I've seen her labia. Oh, you linked that, Kyle. I remember. It was like a picture and it went all the way down to her clan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't see her artful shoulder shot. No, we saw the right one. I'm glad you said that taylor because i think

look she's hot i'm not gonna say she's not hot just that you know people were acting like she was hollywood hot when she was ufc hot yeah she's she's she's a really cute girl um she's like a seven but she's not uh she's not we talking about ronda or Paige? Yeah, I'd say Ronda. Paige is closer to a nine or something. Paige is a very pretty face, and she has, I would say, a perfect athletic body. She's got, obviously, an athletic build because she's a UFC fighter and an okay one. She might be a 10.

What do you want to change on Paige Van Zandt? Her face and her tits. Her face and her tits. Her face and her tits. What's wrong with her boobs? She recently got breast implants, so they're a little closer to where I'd like them to be. I mean,

she's pretty, but she's not like Victoria's Secret Fashion Show pretty. You ever watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show when they come out rocking those million dollar bras and all that bullshit yeah no those are those are perfect specimens of women you can't watch an entire victoria's secret fashion show without coming at least once and they're all like six five swedish watching them work yeah they're they're literally all like five ten to six one or something like that they're all like legs hips

ass and tits and like beautiful fucking perfect top ten faces. Like, and just incredible. That's where Jeff Bezos is gonna be hanging out next week, by the way. That's where he's heading right now to get that sour taste of losing 80 billion dollars out of his mouth. Oh, God. Dude, if you

have that much money, like, that's still a lot of money, but that's not impactful to your life whatsoever. Oh, isn't it? Let me ask Taylor. If I took half of everything you had right now, a homeless guy would say,

well, I still got a place to stay at night, and you can afford rice-a-roni. He's living like a king. Yeah, but you would be taking away my ability to maintain a living style. When you have $70 billion left, living like a king yeah but you're you'd you would be taking away my ability to like maintain a living style when you have 70 billion dollars left it's not like he's god damn it i gotta return my tv and my new computer and my cars and i can't even afford that 10th yacht he was the richest man in the world you don't think that meant i like that bill gates is now the richest

man in the world he's like yeah i don't fuck around that's why i is now the richest man in the world. He's like, yeah, I don't fuck around. That's why I'm still the richest man in the world. Decisions have consequences. Yeah. Yeah, decisions not to get a prenup. I guarantee his next wife there's going to be a prenuptial agreement. He's already dating some chick. She's like a newscaster or something like that. Yeah, get a fucking prenup, bro.

Oh, I didn't think. He's no longer the majority shareholder of amazon okay yeah this is a big deal yeah yeah right i feel like it's it's almost a toxic um like uh mindset i guess for a lot of richer older dudes to something like this happens they lose a shit ton of fucking money immediately they get married again you know what i mean like it's like it's a never-ending cycle i think yeah i bet he gets married again. You know what I mean? It's a never ending cycle. I think. I bet he gets married again soon. I wonder why he wasn't happy in his marriage. I assume he wasn't happy because he was fucking around.

What went wrong there? I don't know. Because he was married. Wait, is this a confirmed thing that he was fucking around on her or are they just divorced? I haven't heard that. I saw it on the internet. I haven't heard that either. Let's see.

Well, a good looking man like Jeff Bezos is probably having a hard time keeping the ladies away. He looks like a ghoul. From Fallout? I can't wait until he's at one of those Victoria's Secret fashion shows and he's hitting on

some lady and she's like, did you see that gross guy he asked for my number can you believe they're like um he owns amazon he's like you mean the jungle no you dumb hoe he owns amazon.com ah yeah jeff bezos was fucking his friend's wife oh well yeah he also also looks like an ugly Mr. Clean. Oh, fist bump for Jeff Bezos. He is the man. I... no. What a nice guy. Not only richest man in the world, but

rich at heart, too. Yeah. Oh, that stinks. He's got a lot of love to give, Woody. That's all we're talking about here. You see scum. I see love. His heart was so full of love

that it was overflowing like a cup at one of those... At a friend party. Yeah, it was just overflowing with love and he had to pour a little bit of love all over his wife's face, you know? Or his friend's wife's face. This is actually a good point.

This lady is now one of the richest women in the world. Yeah. Because of a divorce. She has to be the richest woman, right? Who's worth more than $80 billion? Oh, probably like the Rothschilds or something. $80 billion with a B? There's like five people on the planet worth that much

half of him is worth more than you know the fifth richest guy uh well that's the publicly rich ones right like we have a weird way of like calculating that shit obviously vladimir putin is believed to have 500 billion or something like that and uh the saudis all that royalty you know all the cousins and nephews and nieces and aunt, not the nieces and aunts. They can't even drive cars. Don't be silly, Kyle. But each of those princes is worth many, many billions of dollars. And it's just not known.

They own a country. And not just any country, but one of the more wealthy countries in the world. So it's hard to measure it. They own an asset that is hard to put your finger on how much oil will be in 15 years. Exactly. And if they wanted to borrow a little money, it's not like one of us borrowing money where we could, okay, well, you can get X amount. It's Saudi Arabia. They could probably go borrow a trillion dollars if they really needed it, you know?

I don't even, I'm like, I guess. You know? Has anyone... Well, I don't know. Nothing to do with that. Who do they borrow a trillion from? America? China. We owe...

We're close to owing a trillion to the fucking Saudis, right? Isn't it... What is our national debt? What is our debt to China, right? Let me see what we owe China. Did you mean China? Yeah, I said China. It says the Rothschilds family net worth as of 2017 is about $400 billion.

Ooh. Whose? The Rothschild. Oh, collectively as a family. Yeah. I don't know how many people are in that family. I just know that's the name you think of when you think of uber-rich. That and Rockefeller.

Is Rockefeller still a rich family? I'm sure they are, but... I imagine... Are they split up, though? We owe China $1.1 trillion. Yeah, that's not good. That's not even our national debt. That's just what we owe China.

That's the caption under the official, like, what we owe. Yeah, that's not good. This is not good at all. I had no idea it was this out of control. The national debt is huge, and it's only getting larger under me. It's the biggest, the best that any other president's ever said. It's an amount of money I can't even imagine. I can imagine a lot.

Believe me. Do you know how many whores you could buy to piss on? With $1.1 trillion. Chinese whores. Top dollar. You know, has any president gotten as much pussy as Trump? No. Like over the course of their life?

I was going to say JFK. JFK. JFK is up there, but JFK is also, he died young. You know? Oh, man. Like he didn't have those decades to rack it in. Are we talking about lifetime or just Oh, Thomas Jefferson was

all time. Thomas Jefferson was slaying slave pussy. Yeah, but, well, but they never, like, say how many. He would notch the bedpost. Actually, Jefferson is a very common last name in the black community. Actually, Jefferson is a very common last name

in the black community. You know, I think you've proven me wrong. I think Jefferson fucked more than Trump. I would say so. Oh, Washington. And there was no fake news to throw him under the bus either. There were no dossiers financed by the Clinton Foundation. None of that.

He could get away with whatever he needs. What president do you think didn't fuck? Oh. Like the lame one. FDR. You can't count FDR. His legs didn't work. William Howard Taft.

He got stuck in a bathtub. FDR was in a wheelchair. And he was fighting World War II for like three and a half terms or something. He wouldn't get any pussy. Not even from his wife. I wonder what Google has to say. What president got the least pussy? No results found.

This is a Quora question, yeah. There's nothing helpful. There's nothing helpful. Of course not. No. Yeah, I think Kennedy got the highest quality pussy, though. Can we all agree on that? Yes.

I think probably per capita, per year, he probably beats Trump pretty handily, right? I think Trump's second to Kennedy, if I'm being honest, because I think Trump has fucked a lot of models. Remember, he ran the Miss America thing. I bet he was fucking a lot of those chicks. I bet he was buying really high-end hookers like like five grand a night and shit like that i bet he was obviously i mean his wives have like marla maples was a was a gorgeous beauty like all of his wives had been super hot i think trump takes the credit takes the the the cake the trophy the cake the pussy cake uh of of you know the most hot chicks banged uh like if you ranked the chicks like one to ten and then you added all of those numbers up trump's like 8 000 or something like

that and kennedy is like at 3800 you know kennedy banged marilyn monroe and i think i'd rather bang marilyn monroe once than like 50 other hot girls just because... Honestly? I'd rather fuck Melania than Marilyn. Marilyn's a little chunky. Yeah, but she's the fucking... She's the quintessential woman to this day. It's like a... She was also insane.

Was she? Yeah. She had a lot of mental issues. A lot of rape in her early life. She had that plastic surgery very young as well, like getting into Hollywood. She didn't always look like that. A lot of abuse. She was a broken toy.

Yeah, undoubtedly abused. Do you think JFK had to deal with that shit? I feel like he didn't really have an emotional connection to her. Bam! If that's the case, he was kind of complicit in it. Not only did JFK fuck her, he had her killed. You know, I've

heard that. It was from Kyle, but I trust him. Yeah. Salt's good for you, and JFK killed Marilyn Monroe. Two facts from your man right here. Oh, you know who? We didn't even think about it. Nixon is probably the ugliest

president ever. What? And so he probably didn't get any snatch. Nixon was hideous. Dude, Taft, I'm telling you, Taft. Taft was a big fan. But he was probably at the tail end of the age where it's like, I'm wealthy, look at me. I'm so fat I can get stuck in my own giant tub.

He looks like he ate Wolf of Brimley. He looks like he ate Wolf of Brimley. He looks like he ate Wolf of Brimley. I'm not fucking... I would put my money on him, personally. That's the best description I've ever heard. He ate Wolf of Brimley. Trump is fat. Trump is...

But Taft takes the cake for fattest, right? In my lifetime, Trump is... The others were barely even fat. Clinton on his worst day can't hack Trump's fatness. Let's stop by the McDonald's on the way home, boys. I'm tired of that. Bill Clinton.

If you guys are too old to remember. We've only been two blocks. Bill Clinton took up running. So he would go running, and all these Secret Service guys in suits would keep up with him. Meanwhile, he's in like Nikes and shorts and shit. And they would stop at McDonald's. We watched an SNL sketch the other day, and Bill Clinton's like, he stopped sitting at a McDonald's to get a little snack. And they're asking him, like, political questions.

They're like, Mr. President, do you think we should go into Somalia? Yes, I do. And I'll tell you why. We send a lot of aid there, a lot of food. But what happens is Somalia, is that one of my secretaries? They have already been there, sir. The warlords, they

get a hold of the food. And when he says the warlords take the food, he reaches and grabs their chicken nugget. They take the food and they eat it up. They don't give it to the people. I'm the warlord and that's the UN aid. He grabs a Big Mac. People don't get the food, you see.

He's just going from person to person eating their food. I'm going to go through all these examples four or five more times right now. Actually, ten times. I got a ten piece. It's a great deal. Before he leaves, he's eaten up three meals worth of food. He just takes a bite out of every customer's food. The manager comes he leaves he's eaten up like like three meals worth of food he just

takes a bite out of every customer's food and then the manager's like comes out he's like you got any of them egg mcmuffins he's like well sir mr president we stopped serving breakfast at 11 but but for you all right could you throw in a little bit of that sweet and sour sauce for for your egg mcmuffin sir yeah he's just like dousing it with egg with sweet and sour and by the it was it was it was fucking great i can't remember it might have been phil hartman uh that did bill clinton back in the day he was very good very good yeah clinton definitely isn't in the most pussy conversation for the presidents well not consensual he's definitely in the top he's in the top uh the top i'd say, tenth.

Which actually wouldn't be that hard, because I don't feel like a lot of these guys in the olden days were fucking around as much. No. If they had one mistress, maybe that was risque. Instead of just, you know, chaining them together. I think they'd have like a... I think really back in the day, they would actually have a mistress, though. They'd have like a chick who was

living in the Lincoln bedroom in Lincoln's Lincoln bedroom. And if he was getting a little stressed out by the War of Northern Aggression, he could go in there and bang it out. Yeah. I still think Nixon's the ugliest.

He is the ugliest, in my opinion. I can't even eat box because my nose is too big nobody wants to fuck me you have a large nose yeah i have agnew do my fucking for me when he was running against kennedy the first time like he refused to put makeup on and it was one of the first presidential uh debates that was televised he was like no i'm gonna put on fucking makeup and kennedy's like do me up and And they fucking like Kennedy comes out looking

fucking sharp. He's already a good looking man, but he comes out Kennedy with makeup on like old standard deaf tube TV is an Adonis. Meanwhile, this ghoul steps out of his shadow and Richard M. Nixon. The national

death is enormous. Almost. His enormous is your nose. That was one of the good examples in history of like, apparently everyone who watched that debate on TV was like, Kennedy slaughtered him. Everybody who listened on the radio was like, Nixon slaughtered him.

Like that was how much the optics mattered for Kennedy. In terms of those optics, I think it's interesting because I feel like the last election, the the optics mattered for kennedy and in terms of those optics i think it's interesting because i feel like the last election the one that trump won he did that with the internet right i didn't see hillary embracing any like frog memes or killing it on reddit and i know the russians russian but but still when it comes to who won the internet it was bernie and it was trump and it helped him a ton it was the year of next election cycle you'd be smart to embrace the internet more absolutely i don't know if bernie would have won against trump but i guarantee he would have done better than hillary against

trump i think bernie would like he had a real like all the all the bernie speeches even if you don't like the guy people cared like trump and bernie were the only people bringing huge fucking crowds like the hillary rallies like people just didn't even care. I was going to say, you can't do much better than Hillary and still lose. Yeah. Well, it depends where you do better, right? We all know how the electoral map broke down. But the Republicans have a really high kill to climb to win in any case.

It's like, we've got to win in any case it's like we gotta win all of this and all this and all this there's a lot of like purple states that the republicans just have to take because there's so many of the big states are just a given for the dims and trump did it you know but i think bernie could have beaten him i think bernie would have held him off in a lot of those midwestern states uh i'm seeing a lot of people or not a lot but some people being like oh we want bernie to run again he's going around if the dnc like fucked him up last time like to give hillary an advantage like why would they let him through this time he's polling very well like chis just pointed out um biden's

doing really well right now right like he's doing very well i i want to see uh bernie come back i i liked bernie all right like like i thought that some of his ideas didn't make sense and i i know on this show we made fun of a lot of his ideas like how are you gonna pay for that but god damn it you see like trump go up there and when he needs to pay for something he's like well i'll just declare a fucking national emergency and i'll take the 23 billion that's sitting in the national defense fund the money's always there it seems like we'll just go a little bit more in debt if it if it's for the betterment of all mankind, right? If how well you're polling right now mattered, then Jeb Bush would be one of the last ones.

Mitt Romney, he won the primary, though. But Jeb Bush would have won, right? Instead, he got beat by Trump. Who's the guy with the primal scream? Dean. Howard Dean. We're going to South Dakota! We're going to North Dakota! We're going to Missouri!

Ha! And immediately, as soon as he did that, everybody was like, what? Alright, that guy cannot be holding on to the button. Ha! He sounds like a fucking character off of E-Haw. And we're going to stay in Iraq.

And we're going to stay in Syria. And we're going to go into Iran. We're going back to Japan. Didn't someone say The Rock was going to potentially run? Of course, they say that. And Oprah and Michelle Obama. And yeah, that won't happen. It's going to be, Biden's going to be your front runner.

Bernie's going to be dragging him hard to the left. And then you're going to have a couple of the female, like Debbie Wasserman Schultz type characters who one of the ones who pretended to be black or pretended to be a native American or something like that will be digging around in the middle playing spoiler while Trump is out there just making fun of him on Twitter

for three or four months. Isn't Biden even older than Biden? I'd like to see the Democrats put up someone under 70. There must be someone in the roster. Biden will be 78 in 2020. Well, he's under 80. We got that. Bernie will be 79 in 2020. He's a spring chicken.

Jesus, fuck! I feel like he was old. Yeah, but it's a modern call. Something funny that's been happening like uh that alexandria cortez lady like she's doing a much better job than the rest of the democrats at like using social media and stuff to to garner a following and so she posted something of her like at home cooking i didn't watch the video but i heard about it and then i saw the video saw the video of Elizabeth Warren like shamelessly trying to scoop that tactic and being so uncomfortable. She's like, just here cooking.

I'm going to have a beer. Honey, would you like a beer? And then she told her husband in their own home, thanks for coming. Like, what does that mean? And then fucking Beto O'Rourke, which is the funniest thing ever, where it's like, well, we got a name, a guy who's Irish. His then fucking beto o'rourke which is the funniest thing ever where it's like well we got a name who's guy who's irish his name is robert francis o'rourke

just call him beto and just go with it just people will believe he's hispanic he posted a video of him getting his teeth cleaned on instagram of him like mouth open getting his teeth cleaned and it's like who on earth on your team said that this was a good idea like like alexandria cortez is doing a good job at this like her not like she's cultivating a good following here like you guys like oh you're making an ass of yourself trying to emulate her kind of organic social media use i'm looking forward to that election it's it's going to be another shit show it's gonna be very entertaining the last one was the most entertaining in all of history. It was. The second one might live up to it because, well, you know, because they've already seen what Trump's up to. And he'll have some speaking points, obviously.

A few of the things he's done have worked out. A few of the things he's done have not worked out. And we'll see if that wall happens. We'll see what happens with this government shutdown, right? You know, it's very interesting stuff. The Beto nickname he got as a child so that is kind of like a republican thing that they're drumming around acting like he did it for votes but he's been that since he was a little kid so you think that he just okay yeah it's a tactical thing i think i'm named woody like if they're, he's trying to get the dick vote

because in third grade they started calling him Woody. They'd be like, I've always been Woody. Suddenly it's bad. Fair enough. My first nickname was Get the Hell Out. It was Fuck You.

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Check out Postmates if you're like me and you don't want to go outside of the house if you don't have to. It's a wonderful service. It's bright out there, goddammit. Yeah, vitamin D. Yeah. It's the only way to god damn it. Yeah, vitamin D. Yeah. It's the only way to get vitamin D,

you know, Taylor. To be in the sun? Mm-hmm. It's been proven. It's been proven. That's another Kyle fact. Like, salt isn't bad for you, and... I don't remember the other Kyle fact, and that was only 20 minutes ago. Alright, let's queue up this social justice warrior having a real hard time. I don't remember the other Kyle fact, and that was only 20 minutes ago.

Let's queue up this social justice warrior having a real hard time. What was the other Kyle fact? I don't remember it either. I really want to. Wait, it was... JFK killed... Oh, Marilyn Monroe, yeah. Well, that's not a Kyle fact. That's true. Okay.

Bobby was there. Bobby was also fucking her. They were both getting down with that Bobby it was my night for the mouth I swear to god I'll yell at you in this obnoxious accent Until you get out of that mouth The mouth is the preferred one Don't you have a woman in the back of your car?

Absolutely not I'm just listening to the dialogue I don't know put it in that fat ass of hers he was like a size 16 or something all right chis says this video is hilarious i got high hopes let's watch it i'm i'm a big fan of this video um i what i i heard this uh with the uh with sam and uh sam roberts and uh jim norton doingorton doing the talkover. They would pause it, and they would really laugh it up and have a good time. Very good video. I'm at zero.

Okay, three, two, one, play. ...Vapor City in Tucker, Georgia, and I have just been asked to leave the store. He greeted me. That was nice. I did find the item that I wanted, and the next thing he said... You guys are wearing full Trump gear. Hat and shirt. ...in my store. I'm going to call the police and ask you to leave now. That would be awesome. That would be awesome. I would like to purchase something here. Please do call your boss. I like that

He's gonna call Fox News on it. I am looking forward to releasing this video because I just want to purchase something He's already lost the high ground he He's already gotten violent and slapped the guy's mother. I know! Jesus! I got a fucker in my store he won't leave. He's wearing some Trump, he's wearing some Trump bullshit, got some racist bullshit all up inside his shit. The cuck dude is so triggered. I'm not serving anyone that has to do with that fucker. He's a treasonous asshole. I don't have a problem with you, sir. Whatsoever.

Not a good business model in Georgia. No. I just want good healthcare for in Georgia. No. Is that where he is? Not too far from me. I'd like to purchase some of this naked vape juice, though, if that would be alright. Alright, see, guys. Here's where we're at.

Here's where we're at. Leave the store! Leave the store! Leave the store! Fuck off! I don't give a fuck! Get out! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! GET OUT! Dude, go ahead, take another swing at it. Make contact with me one more time.

I'm gonna make a deal with you. I wanna purchase that vape juice. No! If you sell it to me, I won't! No! If you sell it to me, I won't! Get the fuck out! Look, if you sell it to me, I won't!

No! What you did was assaulted me. What I need is that for my wife. Oh, he didn't assault you. He totally did. You get somebody for assault. I won't call corporate and get you fired. Just sell me the fucking product so I can leave.

You've already beat this guy up, Woody. Naked in the strawberry. That wouldn't have even been a phallus. Where do you see naked? Right here. This shit. Where is it? This?

Right there. Here. Right next to that. In a six milligram. make sure it's a six milligrams so I don't have to come back I'm making sure that fuck out of here dude oh my fuck get my shit ring it up god bless America capitalism wins again fuck your capitol he's a fucking fucking president he's a racist stupid piece of shit, you're a racist stupid piece of shit, fuck off! Fuck boy! You're a fucking bitch! Shut up!

No, sell it to me, sell it to me. It's your job, your freedom, sell me the shit. Fuck it, you can be the fuck boy. A cashier who's not a capitalist. Do my bidding fuckboy! Ring it up and you don't ruin your life. That's where you're at right now. Cause you dumbass.

And you should have helped him first in the first place before you threw a temper tantrum, dipshit. He's standing here waiting for you to ring him up. How fucking is that possible? Get out! Help your customer! Fuck off! Fuck off! Fuck off!

He's screeching like a girl. Look at this guy. Look how happy he is. Oh, the Trump dude is just so thrilled. This is so much more fun than posting on the Donald. I'm cool with it.

I'm recording. You got a business card for your manager or anything like that? I ain't giving you fucking dick. Oh, man. I ain't giving you dick. This is phenomenal. Look, God bless you.

I love you, sir. I don't even know you. I love you. I love you, too. God bless you. This is about money. This is about money. He's just trying to take the highest road he knows how.

You know, this guy has nothing to do with skin color. I'm not selling you anything. This got nothing to do with skin color. This is my money, man. I like having a little bit more money. Yeah, the black guy's on his team now. The black guy's like, this is my money, man. I just, I got nothing to do with skin color, bro.

I'm not selling you dick. I'm sorry, bro. You gotta go through this. Wow, man. God bless you bless you hey check it out he's still your president go fuck yourself well uh the results of that little encounter were assault charges are filed and the man lost his job i did not expect him to get as angry as he did. I thought it was going to be more of a routine freakout. Like he screamed the way like a child does when they're.

He screamed the way the Hellcat guy did. That is the Hellcat guy. That probably was. Yeah. He assaults your car. Now he assaults this guy. If you like, like Democrats at all, people like that make it so hard to admit you're on this team. There was a likable guy holding the camera who was needling and kind of bullying.

But still, between the two, he's the one you pick. And then there's that fucking cuck dude screeching, losing his head, ridiculous. I was just talking today. Imagine. Imagine this in your head blame truth picture this you got a girl she's like 21 years old she's kind of pudgy gauge earrings purple hair short which way do you think she votes liberal yeah yeah yeah the liberal team is filled with people you don't want on it and then the right side doesn't really get branded with the kkk quite as like it just doesn't stick with them the left side gets the cucks what's that well they were founded by the democratic party times have changed but wasn't the Democratic Party and Republican Party on different

sides? I think conservative. I think of a Kansas corn farmer. I can't believe that he was screaming at that dude while another customer was just sitting in line. That guy's just chilling too. He was just patiently waiting. I would be so uncomfortable. You could tell the other guy was uncomfortable

because his hands were up more playing with his phone or whatever. Yeah. He's so anti-racist to that one guy in the t-shirt that there's a black guy waiting to buy his food. And he's like, you can fucking wait until I'm prepared to serve you because I

need to defend you against this racist. Don't you see my big fat face? And I am not one to cast aspersions about fat faces because my head's enormous but that guy had me beat well at least it was a fight you know the beard didn't help him did do him any favors that was uh he he looked like a guy who was he was used to getting his way and he probably screeches like that anytime he doesn't get his way it's just a real bitch like like it's bad parenting i bet and if somebody's recording you you you need to be the most high road version

of you there is you need to speak like like not to bring this back to fucking rust again but but last night we got in this whole thing with the at where this guy was like telling the admins that we were cheating and the admins like talking to us and i'm like look this guy's just just just jealous this guy's just sad because we keep killing him he's a little bitch you know and said but meanwhile the other guy is like fucking screeching and reeing and literally yelling at the admin like do your fucking job do your fucking job your server sucks just blowing up kind of like this guy does and the admin's like well you guys seem pretty cool this guy's a whiny bitch though and that's how it ended up being like the admins on our side

now that's like the the perfect example of re-ing yeah usually like they play it up a little bit where it's like oh he's re-ing about like and sometimes it's good but this was i can't imagine i can't believe an adult man at work behaved that way towards a customer. Good Lord. Yeah, he should have lost his job. See, like, oh, is this the way you're treating our customers? That guy with money in his hand trying to buy vape juice? Like, you shouldn't, no, no, no.

Yeah, if any of us own that. Whoever's money walks through the door. Oh, Solomon Lawton comes into my vape juice store. I'm a little surprised, right? I thought they got you, but here's your vape juice. He still has a bullet in his forehead. Yeah, he's got one. He's got like wingies on.

He's like, that was a very long swim. You know, I have a few questions for Osama, but I'm not going to re-at him, and I'm going to give him his vape juice, because the man needs to chill out. Re-at is like the meme of when Pepe gets all red or whatever

and it's just like re-ing. I don't even think it's a Pepe thing. I think it's just a regular meme thing, right? It's autistic, non-social skilled screaming and screeching at a system. It's social autism blowing up when they can't handle a situation like a normal adjusted adult. It's social autism blowing up when they can't handle a situation

like a normal adjusted adult. It's... That's how I handle too many radio advertisements in a row while I'm in the car. There you go. Yeah, I'm sure you've read many times at your radio. That's why you gotta get that satellite radio, buddy.

You can listen... I love my satellite radio. I wish they sponsored this. I let mine expire. I'd suck their dick all day. I think Spotify's better. No way, man. Spotify's good, but I like Sirius.

Yeah, Sirius is the shit. I really enjoy Stern. I really enjoy Sam and Jim. I like their show. There's a few channels I like a lot. There's a... I flip around so I don't pay much attention,

but there's one talk show, the comedy talk show with a fighter, like an MMA fighter who's one of the hosts and he's fun to listen to. They talk a lot of UFC, a lot of boxing. The fighter and the kid with Brian Callahan? No, no, no. It's nothing like that.

It's a guy who's got like an Australian, British, Scottish accent. I can't pick them apart, but he sounds fancy. In any case, I love my series. And if I'm ever feeling like music, there's so many music channels. Yeah, big fan. It's expensive, though. It definitely is. They've got an on-demand situation

though with their app. So sometimes if I'm on my PC and I'm playing a game that doesn't require audio like i can go and listen to old uh copies of stern and old copies of jim and sam and how much is it a month uh it's i i don't know it might be i've got a couple cars it might be 30 40 a month it's not cheap oh my prediction is that satellite radio goes from supposedly successful to non-existent insanely fast. As soon as Stern quits. Well, as soon as Stern quits, and right now they bump their numbers by having contracts with people like Hyundai

and different car manufacturers that have it installed for a certain number of months off of the sale. And so they always have a semi... It's almost like they're tied to car sales in a way as far as their growth they are so it's like uh it's a bit of a you know it's not true growth you know because the overwhelming majority of those people go no i don't want to re-up this i have my phone with streaming content when trump joined they had like 200,000 subscribers and it went to 20 million in like nine years. Trump runs that shit. Stern. Do you mean Stern? Of course. I mean, yeah. I'm sorry.

I don't know why I've got Trump on the brain because of that last video. But yeah, Stern. Stern is serious. He's a moneymaker for sure. And I mean, I wouldn't fucking sub if it weren't for Stern. I remember one time... Stern gets paid too. I don't remember exactly what he makes but

it might be 50 million a year or it might be 100 million a year it's something like that well his contract was like a billion dollars right yeah he did like a 930 million dollar contract um for five years five or ten years i don't recall which i i it's been a while since i've looked at it but but yeah it's up again in a couple more years he's getting old but the thing is he's been a while since I've looked at it. It's up again in a couple more years. He's getting old, but the thing is he's like a workaholic. He doesn't know what he's going to do. He's sort of agoraphobic. He doesn't like going out. He doesn't like being with people necessarily.

He doesn't really like being at home either, it seems. He really enjoys doing his work. I would guess that he keeps doing it for many years to come. Plus, he feels responsible for his staff. He keeps doing it for many years to come. Plus, he feels responsible for his staff. He knows that he's the breadwinner for 45, 55 people who work underneath him in the back office, not to mention his supporting cast of Robin and Fred and Gary,

and not to mention guys in the back like Mamet and Richard Christie. I mean, Robin's wealthy as shit, right? Oh, Robin is wanting for nothing uh robin and fred have robin is the probably the second most paid person followed by maybe fred and gary and then as we all know that marcy lady that that cute red-headed chick she's the one who's actually the executive producer of the show now and she stays behind the scenes and whispers in stern's ear not to not to be too racist or homophobic or go too outside the lines with his coloring.

So is he got kind of a short leash now? A little shorter than it was before. That sucks because that was like kind of his whole MO is like breaking the leash and doing whatever he wanted. Well, I think what he wanted was to be more mainstream and to be more accepted by the people that he that he likes so he does a lot of very high-end uh celebrity interviews now like miley cyrus was in the other day it was an excellent interview um but but like they did a best of 2018 and i had missed a few of them and

it's it's like every a-list actor you could think of really really comes in there and sits on stern's couch and talks to him and uh he rarely goes like super dirty with it you know know, he just, he sort of interviews them and he does a great interview. You might be the best interviewer out there. It shockingly good. No, and he can read the room and he can see how far you can go with them. And he can get people to say things they don't say with anyone else. Very good.

Yeah. It's a, it's a good show. I like it a lot. And I've been listening for years now and I've listened to hundreds of hours of it. So I'm like into the meta of the show and I know all the bits and all the gags Gary slipped up and said the n-word the other day on the air, but it was he didn't mean to say it

He was trying to say like I don't remember exactly but nitpicker or something like that It came out a little wrong and and and you know instead of Gary getting in trouble They just start making fun of Gary's big gums and teeth and lips, his chocolate-covered lips, and how it's hard for him to talk, period, so they understood. I was trying to find that clip of the New York meteorologist who was talking about Martin Luther King Jr. Park. Something was going on there, and he accidentally said Martin Luther Coon. luther king jr park something was going on there and he accidentally said martin luther coon he goes uh martin luther coon king king park uh they fired his ass over that uh over that little slip of the tongue oh man yeah was he immediately like correcting it or did he slip it in there just like i said it he was like martin luther raccoon king junior uh park uh like like just like that

it's really sad if like he was sitting there the whole time like don't you say it don't you fucking say it just because i made a funny joke less at the bar last night doesn't mean that it's appropriate for now damn it i did it it's like that meme don't say it don't say it don't say it and then he actually says it yeah yeah yeah i feel like on a friday and by monday he was he was fired i feel like uh i don't want to say it's intentional but i've been streaming for five years now live content and it's like i've never fucking slipped up like that you know what i mean i feel like he either says that as a joke in private and it just kind of came out or exactly that's what i thought that's like linguistically it doesn't seem like the coup should come out when you're trying to say key

no like your lips and tongue do a completely different thing for those two words so i feel like this is something that he like jokes about in his private life occasionally and it just came out that way yeah because he said it so many times it seems to be the occam's razor of the situation yeah i think so too although he released this video where he's with his wife i said it and i'll say it again right now and i'll give you one further nazi flags and stuff waiting furiously like he's trying to put out a fire. But no, he was with his wife, and she looked distraught. And he's got his degrees on the wall behind him, and he looks upset.

And he's just apologizing and praising Martin Luther King Jr. Martin Luther King Jr. He made sure he didn't fuck that shit up a second time. I felt bad for him, honestly, because he didn't fuck that shit up a second time i i felt bad for him honestly because like i he didn't do it on purpose that's for damn sure like nobody's stupid enough to do that on purpose because clearly we see what happens like like i i felt bad for him honestly the funny ones of those like the reporter slip ups like are the non-political ones where they just fuck up and suck at it the one

where they uh the sex ones are funny but i like that old one where a guy's it was like his first day covering a basketball game for espn and he tried to start off this like and boom goes the dynamite kind of yeah kind of a catchphrase but he delivers it in the weakest most mealy-mouthed no conviction way he's like and then devante williams takes his shot from the three and boom goes the dynamite i i laugh every time at that video because he he starts he gets so he's just fucking nervous you know you can tell he's really nervous and he he starts out trying to, I guess, just play by play with some sports. And I laugh every time. He just says the person's name, but stutters and says it again.

And it just stops. And there's just dead silence for 15 seconds. He's like, Reggie Jackson, Reggie. And he just stops for 15 seconds. It's like you could see in his own head where he's like, oh, no, I can't do this. He's like, no, I just can't do it. I'm not capable. I just can't do it. I feel bad for that dude.

Hopefully he can look back on this and laugh as he's not working in media anymore. Yeah, hopefully, hopefully. Boom goes. Oh, even Family Guy made fun of him. I didn't notice that. That's truly a fail when Family Guy makes fun of you. Family Guy is just like low-hanging fruit constantly anyway. I wanted to mention this thing I almost forgot.

Chiz made a holiday poster for everyone. And here's a link to it if you want to show the people, Chiz. It's at tpublic.com slash poster. There's a link down below. Chiz worked very hard on this uh he drew it himself i'm literally like like just trolling chis right now he wrote he's writing in the chat i didn't draw it i didn't draw it no no she's uh she's found an artist to do this it was uh it was a little expensive i believe uh i'm told that we were making almost

no profit on these this is literally like a fan service type thing a lot of people asked for something like this uh and and uh chist definitely took the initiative went out there and and made this happen really on his lonesome uh responding to uh fan requests and uh and he got this thing up there it's it's over there if you'd like to purchase one. I think it looks really cool. It's got a lot of guests on there. A little cartoon thing. PK New Year's Party 2019.

It's pretty cool. But yeah, thanks Chiz for putting in all that hard work. Making this thing your own. It's tpublic.com. Slash store. Slash PK. Link in the description. Again, just really a fan service project.

This is T public.com, not public teens. Yes. Public teens.com. I bet that is a website. They don't sell posters, but, but,

but they are entertaining over there. So just, you know, take your pick. Maybe, maybe go over to a T public and then go over to public team. It is just have your fill. But,

uh, but yeah, thanks to Chiz for, thanks to Chiz for doing that whole thing. I know he's been working on it for a little bit. So what do you want next? I've got Pollyanna Viana, the UFC fighter, who pummeled a man so badly he looks like he was in a car accident, who tried to rob her with either an unloaded gun or a fake gun. I'm not sure. Are you a UFC guy, Blame Truth?

I used to be. I'm not sure. Are you a UFC guy, Blame Truth? I used to be. I still follow it. I just usually catch the fight and it's on Twitter, like, you know, just the gifs or whatever. You do that one, then, if you like, Kyle. I've also got a San Francisco homeless man that brought a bad raccoon

into a McDonald's. I have video. All right, I want to watch that one. I knew you would. I knew you would. All me that this is a 6 minute video let's just let it roll we'll talk over it I doubt the hobo is really saying anything that matters that much

let's make sure that we all start at the same time because this is hilarious I'm at zero. This is a high quality video. 240p. Vertically shot. 240p vertical video.

This is it. You guys ready? Yeah. Ready, set, play. This nigga done brought a dead raccoon in the motherfucking McDonald's. Look at this shit. Look at that motherfucker dead in the motherfucker.

This nigga got rabies like a motherfucker. This motherfucker crazy. They ain't gonna bring it in there where the food at. Nigga, you so motherfucking stupid. Look at this shit. This motherfucker put the raccoon on the table. This motherfucker put the raccoon on the table. This motherfucker put the raccoon on the table, bro. On the table.

And he getting up and leaving now. Look at this shit. Look, he leaving now. Look at this motherfucker. He's just leaving the raccoon behind. He's just leaving it. He's just leaving the raccoon behind. He's just fucking leaving it. For those of you who don't video, there's a fucking dead raccoon on the table.

Just in the middle of McDonald's. This nigga crazy. It's a big one too. I tell you. Only in San Francisco. Only in motherfucking San Francisco. Nigga trying to come get him something to eat before he go to work. Look at this bullshit.

What can the next five minutes of this video be about? I want this guy to do radio. He brought him in there. You see the bulls last night. Boy, I done seen it all. Somebody need to call 911 on this dumbass. He gonna bring a dead-ass motherfucking raccoon and put him on the table.

He's only got one take. He's got one what? He's got one take. He just does the same thing over and over. Pretty much, yeah. It's better and better, though. I will never come back to this motherfucker. He's got one take. He just does the same thing over and over. Pretty much, yeah. It's better and better, though. Right now there is blood leaking out of the raccoon's mouth onto the McDonald's table.

There's a dead raccoon in the background. It's the biggest raccoon you've ever seen. If you hit this, you'd wreck. And nobody wants to handle this guy because he's been holding dead raccoons. I wish he'd get it and use it as a weapon. Crazy. You don't want to go in there? Look, this nigga just burned this whole fucking place. Yeah, I wish he'd get it use it as a weapon blood now

Well take this to go Wow This guy's hilarious Seriously, seriously I feel bad for the old guy. He's insane. He's a coon killer. He already sick. You don't know that. He could have found it.

Look at that shit. Blood all on the floor. Nigga, you don't want nothing out of there. No way. Don't call the motherfucking help department. Oh, the homeless or crafty, you don't understand. He's back in the restaurant.

Oh, shit. He's like, oh, that's definitely blood. Shit. That's a nasty motherfucking whatever the fuck he is. That shit don't make no sense. He put him in the garbage can.

Look. There's so much blood. That's a lot of blood. Oh my god. Oh no, that nigga didn't wash his hands. That motherfucker needs to go to hell. Let me get up out of here. I don't want nothing out of this bitch. I'll never come back here. I don't want nothing out of this bitch.

Yeah, that motherfucker needs to go to hell. I don't want nothing out of this bitch. I'll never come back here. I don't want nothing out of this bitch. I don't want nothing out of this bitch. I don't want nothing out of this bitch. I don't want nothing out of this bitch. I don't want nothing out of this bitch.

I don't want nothing out of this bitch. I don't want nothing out of this bitch. I don't want nothing out of this bitch. I don't want nothing out of this bitch. I don't want nothing out of this bitch. I don't want nothing out of this bitch. I don't want nothing out of this bitch. I don't want nothing out of this bitch. I don't want nothing out of this bitch. I don't want nothing out of this bitch. I'll never come back. I don't want nothing after this, bitch. Yeah, that motherfucking nigga,

they need to call the health department. Don't nobody want to go in that motherfucker. You don't want to go in that motherfucker. This guy's been yelling to himself the whole time. Yeah, yeah. Great commentary, great commentary. I want to see him do Call of Duty commentary. I was just thinking that.

I'll give him a gameplay. This motherfucker using an AK. He know M16's the meta. That's a nasty motherfucker. They put him in the garbage. They put him in the garbage. Somebody need to call Xbox Live.

Somebody need to call Xbox Live! Got all in there, boy. Somebody need to call the help department. Man, bro. Camping in the corner like a motherfucker. Come out that building! Talk about help. He already... This other guy sounds just like him. Wow. They need to lock the door. I wouldn't eat shit out of there imagine how funny would be if he turned the camera front-facing and it's an Asian I'll see you later. Put him on the table. I got to head on over and do my IT work.

I got a Starcraft championship to get to. That's some straight bullshit. I will never come to this McDonald's on 16th and Betrayal again. Jesus. He's doxing him. This motherfucking white man. 60th and betrayal again This guy doesn't like he bring nothing bigger than a rabbit. That's homo. Somebody want to bring me something to eat. Bring me something to eat.

I learned that the time I brought a coyote in. I'm going to get this money. Talk to y'all soon. God is love. Get this money that was amazing that was so fucking funny oh man

god damn does this guy have a youtube channel does he commentate more outrageous things let me check his channel real quick hold on I would love to I think it's i think it's just him if this is the guy who uploaded it like originally uploaded it

i think it's just that video oh man that was that was a good video nice find yeah yeah that's hilarious that guy's that white guy with the beard like even in his eyes, you could tell he had crazy person I'm not with it at all eyes. Like that aimlessly wandering about. He might stand there catatonic for half an hour or he might pull a knife out and come after you. That level of crazy. That's a good coon you throw it away.

I'm out of here for you coon for me. He seemed confused to me. That's what I got from it. He was definitely confused. Yeah, but still. I'm not going to for you. A little bad for the old man. He seemed confused to me. That's what I got from it. He was definitely confused. Yeah, but still, I mean... Still, I'm not going to not laugh at him. Yeah. We're not...

I've never gotten to that point where I felt so sorry for someone I couldn't laugh at them. If I ever get so insane that I start bringing raccoons dead into fast food establishments, I want one of you to put me down. I'm going to record you.

He's confidently saying he killed that raccoon, and I'm not buying it. Raccoons are crafty, clever, quick little players. I think it was hit by a car, and he picked it up in front of him. Yes. Well, I can't afford food, but if I bring my own meat, will you prepare it?

I don't know about a bit of bartering, Mr. McDonald. I have an idea for a special menu item. Raccoon burgers. It's called McCoon. What would the McCoon have on it? Pickles? Yeah, probably pickles. Lots of ketchup to mask the blood.

Smothered in patty. Special sauce. Lettuce, pickles, tomatoes of ketchup to mask the blood. Smothered in Purell. Special sauce, lettuce, pickles, tomatoes, sesame seed bun. You'll go rabbit for the taste. Dude, if you eat raccoon, I think that's one of those animals where it's not like, hey, you might get sick. It's one of those like,

oh, you will become ill. You're going to get violently sick. No, you can eat it. Doesn't it have more parasites, more parasites in it than... Lots of... Pigs do. Here's the thing about parasites. Like, it's a little gross when things have parasites,

but when you cook things, all the parasites die, and you just eat the cooked parasites, essentially. That's just the way it works. Is it that there's some rule about not eating roadkill because of the shock of... or something like that? No. In some areas, you're not allowed to eat.

I mean, I don't personally eat roadkill because I'm not one of the Beverly Hillbillies. I'm going to clamp it. But, I mean, as long as the meat isn't spoiled, you can eat anything. You can literally eat crow. That's the old saying. Ah, he's eating crow now. You can eat crow. I hate the crow.

You can eat possum. You can eat raccoon like like like people do it you know but it's an old stern show story but like one of the staff members father lives in kansas and they're in a very rural area and he he kills raccoons and he sells them to people for meat you know if he he said that you have to leave the claws on, though, so that people know you're not selling them a cat. Oh. They want a genuine coon. Yeah.

Jesus. Well, I've never had raccoon. I don't think I will. Would you have any, like, preference between raccoon and cat? Personally, I wouldn't. I'd prefer... I feel bad about eating cat, personally. I'd eat either one.

I mean, a raccoon is just a cat with thumbs, right? No? I don't think so. I think that's how it works. No, I watched Planet Earth 2 last night, and I specifically remember, a raccoon is a cat with thumbs. I think David Attenborough is getting a little crazy there.

Maybe he's getting a little too old for the shtick. Who's there? Are you telling me I haven't been recording this entire time? He's just doing that. Dude, he's getting old as shit. Yeah, he's going to die soon. It's going to suck because he's the best of the best at that shit. He really gets me into the animals.

I love it. i love it i love it you know did did we do this topic last week where if you could bring one person back to life who would it be we did that right or was that like so you could fuck them or something i mean whatever you want to do to them i i but but you know the the first chizzes was uh george carlin which i thought was a good pick mine was was Chris Farley because I would have liked to have seen how his career fleshed out. Interesting we both picked comedians. I want to see how Hitler does when he does get into art school. There you go. There you go. I bet he's not nearly as uptight and douchey.

The one in my back pocket though was definitely Steve Irwin because I really liked the Crocodile Hunter. I remember watching that shit growing up as a kid, me and my dad, my mom, we'd be watching it, and my dad would always be like, I don't think the crocodile's going to kill this guy.

There's no way he survives this shit. Every time we'd watch it, he'd be doing something stupider, and dad would always be like, they're going to kill him. They're going to kill him. There's no way he can keep doing this shit. Because he'd be like, hey, look at there.

Here's a Burmese Python. Here he is. Oh, you see there? He's biting me quite furiously. Lucky there's no poison in there. Oh, but it hurts. It hurts! It hurts! And this is the thing that's gnawing at him, biting into his arm. He was not very safe. He didn't seem to be.

Normally, when you capture crocodiles, use like a steel cage and steve irwin wouldn't ever do that because the crocodile could damage itself flailing about inside it so he would use like this netting the problem is now you've got a netted crocodile that you have to jump on top of and like duct tape its mouth shut so he that's he'd jump in the water with the motherfuckers to protect them over himself and to die to a stingray i'd love to see the statistics on human deaths by stingray that's like getting hit by lightning while skydiving while fucking a supermodel like what are the odds

of a fucking getting killed by a fucking stingray? I've never... Name one other person who died to a stingray. Name one other incident of it happening. You know what got him right in the heart? It's not like stingrays are poisonous or something, like they're venomous or whatever the fuck. It went right through his heart. I hope it's reenacted in the next

Aquaman. Just to fuck with people's sensitivities. Go, stingraysrays send them out there was a there's a south park where they uh i want to say it might have been a halloween episode and uh i think there's a halloween party in hell and uh someone walks up dressed as steve irwin with like a like a sting right through their heart and the devil's like oh that's very offensive he's like what are you talking about i'm steve. And the devil's like, oh, that's very offensive. He's like, what are you talking about? I'm Steve Irwin. And it's like, oh, Steve Irwin's in hell. And then the devil goes, oh,

well, no costume, so you gotta leave. That was a dark episode. I like that guy. His daughter is thick as fuck. You've seen Bendy lately? I've never...

I know his son. He was on a talk show recently. Just like his dad. I don't want to fuck the son, but the daughter. I mean... He is just like his dad, though. I'm not sure about her. I didn't know he had a daughter. Yeah, she looks... What's her name?

I think her name's Bindi. Bindi? Yeah. Like, maybe B-I-N-D-I? Oh, B-I-N-D-I. Like, not that she's flexible, because she doesn't look like she is. Yeah, she's pretty cute.

Yeah, she's odd-looking, which I like. She's got a very unique face. I don't know if she fucks around with animals or whatever, but she's got a big fat ass. I'm a fan of that. Looks like her thighs would just crush your face. Yeah, she's very... Very thick.

Very pear-shaped. Yes. Yes, she's not going to be in any fashion shows, but I'd like to see her do some other things. I bet she'd cry about her. Anyway, let me do one more advertisement here during this lull before we talk about this man who got beaten senseless by a woman. If you're carrying revolving debt, that means you're not paying off your card every month, and you could be paying thousands in interest every year, but you don't have to.

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We discussed it a little bit in the show. I know you're traveling, but Trump said today that if the Dems don't meet him in the middle on this whole wall thing, that he is going to declare a national emergency at the border, and then he would legally be able to tap into national defense monies, a state of emergency, yes. He'd be able to tap into national defense monies, a state of emergency, yes, he'd be able to tap into

national defense monies, which are currently sitting at around $23 billion to possibly fund his wall, which would, of course, trigger lawsuits of those saying that that is not constitutional and or not legal for him to do.

So, I might win that bet on that wall after all what's the what's the bet what's the initial bet we made a bet whenever trump got elected that there whether there would be a wall or not and my take was he said there was going to be a wall at every fucking day for like four months he's got gotta come up with a goddamn wall i think there's gonna be a wall that's my take and i i guess i it i found it to be less and less likely as time has gone on but this might be the way it gets done i think that's how this uh the government shutdown ends right so the democrats will give him what he wants. Trump will declare an emergency and then they'll reopen the government. And then months down the road,

he'll lose in court. And that's that. There's a process for funding this stuff. And you can't just pretend there's an emergency and go around the constitution, which determines who allocates the funds. It would depend if... First of all, I don't think there is an emergency.

But President Obama used the terms national emergency at a time referring to the border crossings and the illegal border crossings. Crossings, goddammit. And it depends. I don't know where that case would be held. border crosses, crossings, God damn it. And it depends. It depends. I don't know where that case would be held. I would imagine that if he sued in a liberal district that happens there, right? Like they sue him in Cali.

Does is that where the decision is made? I don't know how that sort of thing works. I'm not sure either. I'm not sure either. But like, it's pretty cut and dry that the Congress determines where these funds come from, not the president. So this would have like I don't I just don't think this is the emergency that you can use this stuff for. You can't trump up emergencies. But we'll see. I'm no scholar.

We'll figure it out. Yeah. But that's how it ends. He's like, all right, I'll go around you guys and it won't work. And that'll be that. Yeah, that would be my guess as well. It would depend. I would be interested to see if he declares he a national emergency, but he still doesn't open the government up.

Right. You know, he still holds their feet to the fire. It's it's an interesting time in politics. Trump is just always surprising. I hear him speak almost every day just off the top of his head you know just going out there you know just sometimes i love it like when he does when he's like oh you know what flip it we're getting out of iraq we're getting out of syria i'm done i don't care what all the experts tell me we're getting out and i'm like trump you're

a genius because you're agreeing with me on this one And then when he says we're going to build a border Wall we're going to put billions on it and whatever I'm like Trump you're a fool I disagree They were like Sir we saw a video of someone Sawing through one of the fences What good is a fence if they can

Saw through it that was one of Obama's fences He's got to be better Stronger that was from the previous What good is a fence if they can saw through it? That was one of Obama's fences. He's got to be better, stronger. That was from the previous administration. It's always something. And it's like, no, it's – come on, man. Tell us more about your fence.

What kind of steel are we using? What kind of steel specifically? Like tell me the numbered rating. Is it a 1040 steel a 1040 so much more difficult oh sorry he doesn't know it ties into my computer background it is so much more difficult to secure something than it is to break it it is breaking stuff is so easy by comparison you have to dot every i cross every t think of every possible attack vector and if your record is like ten thousand and one ten thousand wins and one loss that's a loss you didn't do it you didn't secure

it and i know he was there looking at tunnels today and people are talking about ladders and apparently you can literally hand hacksaw these steel fences he's making and cut holes in them which is probably easy to break and a giant pain in the ass to patch. Like that's my impression of what a hacksawed hole looks like. Just cut two or three slats and now you can walk underneath it, crawl through it. It almost seems like this would, this would cause more like immigration illegally because it's like a

challenge, you know, like, Oh, there's a wall now let's, you know, let's fuck it up as well. And let's see if we can actually do it.

You know, I kind of liked it here in Mexico city, but I heard there's a wall now. Let's, you know, let's fuck it up as well. And let's see if we can actually do it. You know, I kind of liked it here in Manicou City, but I heard there is a wall to cross. It's like Everest. And I have my, I have my six inch grinder. I think I would show Trump who his boss. I don't know if that's going to happen. I want to see them go medieval on him. Right.

I want to see that when that next caravan shows up, I don't want to see him try to run across some bridge they need to be laying up those big ladders like in lord of the rings and fucking coming up fucking coming straight up in on the ladders i want to catapult mex i want to trebuchet yeah yeah that's what i thought you were gonna say yeah i thought they were gonna roll in with the trebuchet all with like wooden wheels and shit like that. Like an old school trebuchet. And just throw rocks at the wall. No, no, no. Throw Mexicans

over the wall. Now that's outside the box thinking. I like where you're headed with that. Prepare to deploy your chute. You will be launched at 200 meters. Riba, riba, riba! I can't tell if you're doing a Mexican accent or like a to making a murder or making a murder or whatever.

It's from a cartoon. Yeah, no, it's mouse. Speedy Gonzalez. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Speedy Gonzalez. Okay. Yeah. Well, I was actually slowpoke McGraw more like, more like his cousin, slowpoke McGraw. That was my favorite Lo? Okay. Yeah, well, it was actually Slowpoke McGraw, more like his cousin, Slowpoke McGraw. That was my favorite Looney Tunes character, 100%. And my grandfather is Honduran, so me and him would sit there and we'd watch that shit all the time. We loved Pepe Le Pew.

And today I feel like Pepe Le Pew is like, or not Pepe Le Pew, Pepe Le Pew is the racist skunk. Speedy Gonzalez is the Mexican mouse, who's like, pew, like super fast. And I feel like today, maybe Speedy Gonzales would be considered, like, not PC enough, right? I don't think so, no. I don't think it would. I mean, they took the Taco Bell dog away in, like, 2000.

So, like, yo quiero Taco Bell. I wonder how many people like that. I got a Yukiro Taco Bell shirt somewhere. I don't know why. Iba, iba, iba, andale, andale, andale. Pew! And he'd run away. That's great. But yeah, securing that border

is a real difficult thing. I don't know what the answer to that is. I don't fucking care either because I don't live down there. Right? And like all the Mexicans that immigrate to my state, we fucking need them. They work in the poultry industry like like like they work in processing factories they work hard they seem like generally trustworthy people like like i my dad's had a few of them work for

before they always seemed like really nice people and they had a great work ethic they always did like like i there were guy would show up in this awful car where like it didn't even have a key in it there was a screwdriver stuck in the ignition that you turned to start it and you take the screwdriver out like like come on now it's secure now it's secure like like nobody else got a flat head come on and like one day he couldn't make it so like another guy just showed up he's like hello i am pablo's cousin i will work for you he tells me you need you need a strong man. And you're like, well, all right. Well, do I pay you? Yes. I will give the money to Pablo. All right. I guess that's how it works. And you just pay this guy. And sure enough,

Pablo would come back a week later and be like, Emilio gave me the money. It was all good. All right. Sounds good, man. You guys have a whole community. And sure enough, they were like, there was like five families who had rented a house nearby. They were all living in this one big-ass house. They had goats outside, and every Saturday you'd drive by, and they'd have one of those goats on a spit.

They'd be roasting that goat out in the fucking yard. They were an interesting group of people. I'm not convinced the walls... I know I just said that you know i don't want a wall but they laid it out like this they're like look some inventions don't need to be updated right the wheel is a circle it's been that way for a long time and it's going to be the final solution a wall is one of those inventions like a wheel that just it's old

school but it works and it's like oh so what do you want that's not a wall do you want drones that's like non-stops sort of paying attention active monitoring etc we've all had drones they last 15 minutes like what exactly is your plan for monitoring all this shit with drones walls work when you're not there kind of yeah i don't know what the example i think you want two walls honestly and a moat in between with some sort of attack animals in the moat i i think crocodiles um one thing that they have in the south where they have poultry farms when chickens die they don't have anything to do with them there's a few things you can incinerate them you can bury them or you can

get crocodiles or get alligators actually and And these people will have a whole lagoon of alligators that they feed the dead chickens to. They are voracious. If you want a solution that doesn't require constant monitoring, could we put landmines between the two walls? Then you run out of landmines. Here's the thing about an alligator.

This has been tested, Woody. You feed one alligator, two Mexicans, it makes three more alligators do you know oh my god i had to run the math on this kyle we're soon we're gonna have an alligator problem now no problem now what what's the spider monkeys the spiders the alligators tens of millions of legal aliens tens of millions alligators that's your choice kyle what future do you want to live in i grant of millions of alligators. That's your choice, Kyle. What future do you want to live in? I grant you that seeing alligators

all over the place would be kind of cool, but also scary. I think that maybe it spawns a whole industry of alligator clothing items, right? Like every time you get a little overpopulated, just make a whole bunch of boots. You sell the boots to the Mexicans to fund more alligators. It's a beautiful

wheel of doom, destruction, and alligator boots. That's a self-sustaining economy. This is going to be kind of ballistic alligators. A self-sustaining economy. I just created a self-sustaining economy. I don't even know how a real economy works. Oh, you wrote up my plan? No, I blacked out that night.

I blacked out that night. God damn, I just figured this out. They're always wearing those boots too like when i go to texas i see those i always see mexican guys wearing some fancy snake boots or gator boots or gator boots one of the the boots that like pita people hate the most or i know they hate fur more because furs for like cute mammals do they throw a big hullabaloo about killing reptiles i'm'm sure they do. I think they do. Anything that people

can kill. They really should stack rank where they're most offended. I have a bigger problem with rabbit boots than I do alligator boots. And foie gras. Even I, I'm not down with foie gras. That's where they force feed those geese. They force feed those geese

until their livers are I don't remember where they feed them those geese. They force feed those geese until their livers are... I don't remember where they feed them. This specific mixture to fatten their livers up, and then they slaughter them, and it's torturous. There's a tube down their throat force feeding them. It's like Guantanamo. And then they harvest the liver and they serve it, and it's a delicacy.

And also those bears over in Russia... But fuck geese. Can you think of an animal more detestable than a goose? Yeah. Yeah, but still, I don't like the process of torturing them for their entire lives just to eat them. Yeah, yeah. I do hate geese, though. Yeah, I don't know.

Fuck geese. You ever shot a goose? Fuck geese. I'd love to shoot a goose and then not eat it out of spite. I shot a goose? Fuck geese. I'd love to shoot a goose. Only for lack of opportunity. I shot a goose one time so fucking high up in the air it was shocking. Shocking when it went down. You were shocked. I was.

Everybody was like, whoa! Geese hunting is a weird... I'm not into it. I don't like the waterfowl sports. I did it once. Shooting ducks and turkeys. All that shit seems lame as fuck to me. I don't like the like the waterfowl sports i did it once like shooting ducks is always and turkeys like like all that shit seems lame as fuck to me i don't get it here's his twitter account tell me if any of this heart wrenches you it's just a different sort of like sport really like shooting doves they're this fast-moving darting bird that's really a real challenge to shoot and

and the setting you're in is in a like a sunny hot field with camouflage whereas duck hunting you're in a swamp with like special like water gear on like waders it's usually cold and you you call them in and when you shoot them like i don't like eating duck i love eating dove it's just everything about it is not something i enjoy like like i if i they're easy to shoot too it's it's It's a big fucking bird that's trying to land right next to you when you shoot it. I see guys do it with a bow. What'd you do here, Taylor? Oh, this is sad as shit, dude. It's mostly dogs.

Why? Aww. It is mostly dogs, which is how they get you. Because everybody's on Team Dog, Unless you're truly a monster. Yeah, no one would help him, including the cameraman. Oh. I like how they add captions.

Like, this dog has a chain on it, and it says in text, someone please take this heavy chain off me. That is sad, though. I do love the trolling to pita is really funny like when you see their tweets go semi-viral where like someone will tweet at them like i told they'll like say there's no animals are our friends and we love them and i would never do anything but but love them and then someone will post a picture of a sheep and be like this is my this is my buddy

thomas he and i have been together for a long time, and he provides me with wool, and I love him. And they'll be like, everyone take an example from GhostRecon69 here, who's definitely a good guy. And then that same guy will respond with a lamb chop and be like, ha ha, killed her.

Like, I don't know, that makes me laugh. Oh, this is real sad. These guys are manipulative fuckers. Oh, they're super manipulative. I had to close out, and now I'm, like, calling my dog while my mic's muted. Buddy, maybe he's sleeping. But, Jesus, I see shit like that,

and I just go and, like, cuddle my dog like a big teddy bear. That's why we should all eat elk meat. They lure you in with the dog shit, and now, here, they've got a lobster post. I don't give a... I don't give... They say lobsters are killed and dism got a lobster post i don't give a i don't give they say lobsters are killed and dismembered alive i don't give fuck i don't if there was a video of someone just punching lobsters just mushing them up with their bare hands

wasn't even a good one We're not even gonna eat it I'm Steve-O And this is the lobster smash All I'm saying is If a lobster had the choice to pinch your dick off Or not, it would pinch your dick off Fuck those crustacean motherfuckers Whatever they are Boil them up

I'll dip them in butter I'll make them in butter. I'll make a fucking lobster roll, some lobster macaroni, a delicious lobster bisque. I wouldn't care what they had to do. If they had to get a tiny dick to fuck a lobster to death, a butter dick, if that's how they made lobster, was by fucking it with a boiling butter dick, I would still eat that shit.

Dude, if lobsters could speak English, I would still eat them. They were like, please, reconsider this. I'm so sorry. Please, I'm just a crustacean from the Mesozoic era. What if it's a very persuasive lobster? A Charles Manson lobster or something, you know? He's got a swastika on his head.

Yeah. He could talk you out of it, you know? Lobster means like a fucking cult to kill people. No, when I walk into a restaurant, they've got the tank of lobsters. I'm like, that one. He looks spiced.

He's got some fight in him. Yeah, he's got some fight in him. Now, can I pick him myself? And I would like you to remove the bands prior, if that's possible. I wanted to put up a fight. I want to feel that I earned my meal. He like weakly tries to pinch at me me and i just smash him with a mallet

oh that's great i don't even like lobster i'll pay though i really enjoyed that can i have another please i wonder how many lobsters red lobster would let you take out of the tank and just kill in front of them before before they asked you to leave if you all right i would like that one but i'd love to hold it and you're like here you go and out of the tank and just kill in front of them before they asked you to leave. Alright, I would like that one, but I'd love to hold it. And you're like, here you go. And I go, and I just take it in the corner of the fucking stewardess kiosk and just snap its head off. I'm like, alright, put this one to the side. I'd like three more.

Three more. You can't keep murdering lobsters in the foyer here at Red Lobster. I will not stop killing your lobsters until you giveyer here at Red Lobster. I will not stop killing your lobsters until you give me a pallet of cheesy bread. How about that? I'm the king of Red Lobster.

All those lobster jets are just for bread, which I find the funniest. How much is a lobster? $20 a pound or something? It's more expensive than crab and it's not nearly as good what do they weigh like 3 pounds the ones in the that'd be a good size one

there are of course bigger ones yeah and those blue lobsters I don't know if that's like a kind or if that's just like a random happenstance of pigment and they're like oh hell yeah this one's worth a lot I have no idea how much they cost I was at what's that restaurant called?

I was in Houston at, I don't remember the name of the steak place. They had amazing steak, but they also had the blue lobster for $125. And I was like, we're going to have one of those. We're definitely going to have one of those. And we all are at steak, but we also want

one of those blue fucking lobsters and me and my buddy are gonna split that thing it was fine it was fine did it taste exactly the same as a regular lobster i honestly don't remember you know i was drinking but but it looked cool as shit like it was a blue fucking lobster and it was big as fuck like it was probably four or five pounds it was a big fucking lobster. And they were like, this is a one in 15 million lobster. And I was like, oh shit. That's 125. Seems kind of cheap now. Alright. Bring that

bad boy out here. You boil him alive. I want him to feel it. And they were like, yes sir. We'll slap him around a bit first if you'd like. And I was like, yeah. I would like that. Slap him around a little bit. Yeah. And we ate him and we could taste the fear.

It was delicious. I don't order lobster often. Mostly in part because I'm not an expert in like breaking the thing apart and getting all the lobster meat out. Oh, dude, I feel fucking stupid as hell with crab legs and shit. I just, I don't know. Crab legs I got, you know, like you can. I'm autistic with crab legs. I'm faster than anyone in the world.

Furious Pete, if you're listening, you want to do an eating contest with crab? Because I will dominate you. Because the limiting factor will not be the amount of food you can fit in your mouth. It will be how fast you can get the crab out of there. And these hands, I'm like fucking Ben Carson in a brain when i have a bunch of crab in front of me i'm not like ben carson on the stage in public i'm like ben carson in a neurosurgeon's theater housing and nerve development you know how they always say like oh uh lobster it used to be for prisoners but then now culturally it's changed to a luxury food.

Did you know that? And I used to, like, you guys have all heard that, right? No. No. No. So, basically, like, it's like a trope that people are like, oh, people pay so much for lobster now, but back in the day, that's what they used to serve prisoners and like like bad prisoners in the northeast and they hated it and the reason being is that when they served them to the prisoners there they had been dead for like days and the reason that you get lobster fresh is because apparently like the second it dies a bunch of enzymes release and it immediately begins to rot

ammonia yeah maybe it's ammonia but like that's why people hated them is because they were giving you ammonia filled sick meat that made made you vomit and poop yourself. And people don't know that. So sock that away for never when it's useful. Yeah, absolutely. For never when it's useful. Yeah, I think I like crab better. Definitely.

It's a sweeter meat. I like crab cakes a lot. Crab cakes are one of my favorite fucking things. I just put put some lemon juice on there maybe a little bit of tartar sauce and i fucking love that shit are you a chef at all blame truth like do you do you like cooking no not really no i it comes my food comes out of the freezer or from wendy's most of the time so i can cook and i do cook occasionally like Like I was saying before the podcast began, I cook steak occasionally, but too much time.

Too much time. I'd rather play games or something. Well, you're maintaining a great physique for primarily Wendy's. Oh, I just gain my weight in my stomach. If I stood up, I'd look pregnant. But thank you. I appreciate it.

Yeah, it all just gains in the midsection. Yeah, I really like cooking. That's, that's one of my major hobbies. I, I, I don't know if I've talked about the sous vide machine on the show, but if you're into cooking, like get yourself a sous vide machine, they're a hundred dollars, uh, you know, on Amazon and they're amazing. All my steaks have been perfect for the last month. Just incredible, like thick fillets. Just perfect mid-rare.

Sear them on a pan. But I think I'm going to get one of those blowtorch attachments so that I can sear it with a blowtorch. I've heard that cooking chicken in the sous vide is the best way to cook it. Because you can get it to exactly 145 or whatever the temperature has to be. 155 for poultry. I don't know. But it's basically

100% guaranteeing you will not have dry chicken yeah it's juicy yeah you can possibly cook it so there's still a ton of i found a youtube video on how to how to cook um like like grilled chicken and keep it juicy once and it involved like heating the pan up to a certain amount keeping on there for a while and then covering it and turning the pan turning it off and leaving it in there for 15 minutes and it was like super juicy chicken but i forgot how to do that shit so so now i just put it in a fucking bag and sous vide that shit and put all the spot like cajun spices and stuff and it comes out beautiful and delicious well not beautiful you got to sear it but just perfectly cooked if you have no skill in the kitchen and you want to

feel like really good at it, watch Gordon Ramsay's scrambled eggs video and try and emulate that. It's very few ingredients, very simple instructions and if you fuck it up, it's eggs and so you just start again and it takes another 10 minutes.

It's so much better than regular scrambled eggs. They're incredible. It's long and low. Low and slow, I should say. Low and slow, yeah. Just really, really low heat and just continuous stirring. And they come out like creamy, like almost like a pudding or something. It's really good.

Yeah, I use all Gordon Ramsay's cooking techniques. I've been meaning to do like a beef Wellington, but I'm intimidated by it. You do a whole beef tenderloin and it's wrapped in a puff pastry with a layer of food processed mushrooms. And what's that really thin cut? Prosciutto. Like wrapped in prosciutto and then in the mushroom and then in the puff pastry. And then you bake this thing and cut it into slices. I think there's also some English mustard. My girlfriend made me some recently i never had it before and it's fantastic your girlfriend pulled off beef wellington yeah that's impressive was it like cooked well in the

middle was it like it was it was so good wow that's very impressive yeah that that's that's the most difficult thing to cook that i can think of i wouldn't she didn't make it seem hard yeah it was very impressive so fucking good to me it's intimidating for one thing it's expensive like a beef tenderloin is like 125 for a whole one and uh and that's and that's just one ingredient right you know uh but for another like i mean just watch hell's kitchen they fuck them up all the time and these guys are chefs they're constantly like it's fucking raw or it's fucking burnt there's still horns on it but i feel like those guys who fuck it up in that situation if you gave them like a pressure-free environment they would they would hit it 10 times out of 10

like they just got you know, Ramsey screaming at them. Which is the best part of every show he's in. Is him getting mad and screaming at people. That's why I tried to watch a clip of his children's show on YouTube where like he cooks with kids and teaches kids how to like a step up. And he's too nice. I don't want to watch him be nice and supportive.

I want to watch him mad at people. You little fuck. You little piece of shit. You want to watch him be nice and supportive. I want to watch him mad. You little fuck. You little piece of shit. You want to watch him steal his children. The day you crawled out of your mother's filth was a dark day. When you crawled out of your mother's cunt, did you know...

Now I'm doing like a Manchester accent. Did you know... I was going to say something. Did you know that one day you'd be serving a chef of three Michelin star restaurants dinosaur chicken nuggets? Did you know this? And you do find that acceptable,

you little stupid cunt. Of course not. Get home. Out of here. You stupid little piece of shit. I like that he isn't afraid to curse the women out and literally call them a stupid bitch. You would think that in this PC culture, but he gives it to the men and women 100% equally.

I was watching one, and the lady chef, she's presenting him a dish. They're doing this part where everybody's in two teams, and one guy, one girl, they come forward with their best dish. It's the first episode of the whole season. And he judges these. And the lady comes up with these huge titties. And she has such a low-cut dress that they are just jiggling.

Like you can see like an entire palm worth of titty sticking out. And he's like, good Lord, cover those things up. He literally gets out a big napkin and makes her hold it over her tits while she presents him the food that's fucking hilarious that is the next level yeah you think he was using him to like get a bonus a little like tit extra point or two of course of course yeah that's she she was like i i thought this would be a good thing to wear this is my date outfit I thought he'd like it and he's like cover those up

madam if this Wellington were half as juicy as those tits you wouldn't be eliminated this episode I've been watching a lot of Hell's Kitchen it's fucking funny man like these people start crying and there's a couple seasons where there's someone who gets, like the casting director

needs a fucking pay raise, right? Because they pick these chefs based on different criteria. You might think, if you were doing this job, you'd be like, well, I'm looking for 18 of the best chefs out there

who are willing to come on the show. No, no, no, no, no, no. You're looking for six good chefs and 12 nut jobs. You're looking for six good shifts and twelve nut jobs. And preferably, you've got a really bitchy black girl. There's almost always one of those

who's just like pissing everybody off and talking so much shit. You've got a huge fat guy who's like, like he's dying from exhaustion constantly. Like Gordon literally stops the judging. He says, are you okay?

Why are you breathing like that? And the guy's like, what? What? You're breathing like you're going to die. Would you like to sit? I'm fine. I'm fine. And there's, and a few times there's a chick who's so insane

that she just gets kicked off the first day or leaves the first day for some manufactured medical condition that she comes up with

she quickly realizes she can't cut it here and like it's not gonna work it's a fun show there's like I don't know how many seasons maybe 25 seasons

of this shit I've seen like a dozen of them it's good shit it's it's they all smoke i love that like like whenever they show them in the dorms every single one of the chefs like the pretty girls the old dudes the one commonality that every chef has because they're in the service industry is like they're fucking smoking cigarettes every single one i'm smoking cigarettes it's great good show technique to get time off like the little 15 minute breaks

great. It's a technique to get time off. Like the little 15 minute breaks. Maybe. It's also a stressful fucking job. Time management. It's a rough job. They always say your Waffle House meal is going to be better if

the cook comes back from just smoking a cigarette. You want to nail them right then and get them in that time frame. I like Waffle House. I've never gone into a waffle house tactically i usually stumble in and oh yeah great drunk food great i call in pickup orders sometimes i i like i i don't i don't love the atmosphere the ambiance of the waffle house so much as i do like their uh their hash browns if you brought a dead raccoon into a waffle house the value of their ambiance.

Because then at least it would have a little bit of something natural in there. They cook it up. They cook it up. Oh, that's a vegan. It's a vegan. Denny's is a similar way. Where do you put a shittier for late night? Denny's or Waffle House?

Waffle House is shittier. Denny's is definitely a more upscale restaurant. Denny's is a similar way Where do you put a shittier for late night Denny's or Waffle House Denny's is definitely a more upscale restaurant Denny's for sure is I've only been to Denny's maybe two times in my life I think IHOP is one level above that IHOP, Denny's, Waffle House Going down But Waffle House is still fucking good I like there all the time Same here

We had a place here We had a place here anywhere in the u.s we had a place here called uncle uncle bill's like uncle bill's breakfast that i used to go to and in high school with friends because they were open 24 7 and they were like one of the last areas in st louis that allowed smoking indoors and so like even if you went there at 1 a.m., there would be a full restaurant of old people and just a fog of cigar and cigarette smoke. And at the age of 17, I'm like, this is kind of cool.

This is like olden days kind of shit. And then I think a few years ago, I walked back in right after they had banned smoking. And I was like, oh my God, it smells like someone is blowing cigarette smoke up my nose right now and it's been illegal for a year i like places where they smoke i i like i like that atmosphere i want to say in florida i could be wrong about this i want to say in florida the strip clubs have smoking you still can in some places like in certain counties here i'm sure most states are like that yeah everybody's smoking everybody's drinking there's there's pussy

there's there's liquor you know like there, there's pussy, there's liquor, there's handjobs in the back. It's a fun environment if you're an adult. I don't want a handjob at a breakfast place. They don't serve breakfast that I know of. This isn't Waffle House. Oh, okay. Wires got crossed.

This is Bill and Ted's Tits and More Strip Club in fucking Cocoa Beach, Florida You know one of the most underrated Restaurants and fun places to be is Dave and Buster's As an adult, Dave and Buster's Is a ton of fun It is, it's a ton of fun

You're going around playing games with friends What's your favorite game at Dave and Buster's? Oh, I don't know I just go around and play things You're not trying to get high scores. You're just playing the Jurassic Park game or playing the dead Resident Evil or whatever the fuck, shooting things.

It's fun. No. I have a $5,000 gaming machine right here. I'm not going to David Buster's to play on their 1980s arcade shoot-em-up machine. If you weren't allowed to drink there, you're right. It wouldn't be fun. I mean, I'm allowed to drink right here, though.

You know? Like, I just don't. I've been there. It's a little bit of fun, I guess. The David Buster card is very nice, that you're getting the points and accruing those. That's kind of cool, I guess. And I guess I went there with whole groups of of friends like a girlfriend and a bunch of her girlfriends and it's kind of fun does david busters have like uh skeeball yeah that's my

question they do and they also get that would be why i go yeah if you want to like it if you stand up there and drop balls in yeah well yeah i mean you don't have to play that way you ever you ever see those reports where they look and the candy bowl at the restaurant has so has is covered in feces no well it absolutely is all of those all those bowls of mints at every restaurant every time they're tested feces all right can you imagine what's on those fucking guns and those ski balls and those basketballs at Dave & Buster's? There's fucking anthrax. There's cum. Cum.

Fucking raccoon shit. Every year. You're saying I was shitting on Dave & Buster's four episodes ago. That's fine. Probably true. But I've evolved. I've realized the fun. You know, and so. You so extended to the uh dave and

busters master race yeah i've actually never been we don't i live in like the middle of fucking nowhere kind of so i think the nearest one's like 50 miles away so where's your like kind of go-to like don't say the establishment name but like what do you like to do when you go out and and have fun like a bar a gaming place there's really nothing to do here i just go to bars usually we got we got a really good uh local craft beer scene so i try to hit up you know local breweries and brew pubs and local bars and stuff but there's not much to do here you can kind of walk one mile in any direction and find a church so can you say what state you're in nc yeah nc oh okay oh yeah okay yeah you know what i'm talking about like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm in atlanta now so it's i i really enjoy it you know i i grew

up in a really small town where like there was no pizza delivery even and now i've got like postmates for every fucking possible thing i can get like a steak delivered to my house or oysters like I did yesterday or, you know, all the fast food places and everything. And like, I don't know if I want to go to the movies, it's five minutes away. If I want to go to the mall, it's five minutes away. Everything's just here. It's pretty nice. When you were plugging Postmates, I was like, I should look into that.

And I'm like, we probably don't have it here. It's probably not here. Yeah, I'll write in the chat that the place that maybe look at this okay um but but yeah postmates isn't a lot of the metro areas for sure uh i'm glad they expanded to mine postmates is so great but oh i like once i get that food in my home all motivation to leave for the rest of the evening is out the window it's like all right well i had big plans but i'm sitting here eating this food and i'm gonna go into a food coma yeah and i like to get i like to drink if i'm gonna eat too like like like if i'm gonna eat I like to get a little buzz first, right? So I'll have a couple nice belts of Tito's vodka.

And then, like today, I had some nice pasta. And after that, it was bedtime. I had to get a nap. And that was around, I got up at like 5 a.m. this morning. And I got back home at like 1 in the afternoon, ate my food, and then I was in a food coma dreaming of rust until like 4 in the afternoon or something like that.

I have rust nightmares. Is a belt the same thing as a finger? Like when they would say like, pour me two fingers of whiskey, that kind of shit? Yeah, I think it's just slang for a nice little slug of alcohol, right? See, here's the thing about drinking that i don't get right i feel like people who are counting shots or they're taking one shot at a time like i don't get your game i don't understand what you're going for when i drink alcohol i'm trying i'm going for a buzz or drunk it's one

or the other i'm not going i'm not drinking this alcohol because I enjoy the taste of rubbing alcohol, which is what I'm fucking drinking, except it's nine times distilled or whatever. I'm drinking it because I want a buzz, right? I want the effects of alcohol on my goddamn brain, numbing my neuron receptors. So I fill this fucking glass up to like there, and I take three big gulps,

and then I put the fucking bottle away. Now we're done. Now we're done drinking. We got an overweight. Don't you feel like a little shitty after you like guzzle down four shots worth of. I feel great. I feel great. And more like five.

I do like five. It's three of the biggest gulps you can imagine that I can handle. And I chase it with a little bit of juice. And I'm right now I'm on apple juice. Last week was pineapple. The week before it was like orange or something. I don't like orange juice that much. It's got a little,

it's too acidic, but like, you know, I'm going for a buzz here or I'm going to get drunk and, and I'm not going to sip. I'm not going to make a vodka tonic where there's extra stuff to drink. I'll, if it's,

you know, I've done bloody Mary's, like, especially if I'm a real degenerate and i'm wanting to have a drink before noon or something like that it's definitely gonna be a bloody mary but like i don't get the whole sipping on mixed drinks or uh drinking i i don't like drinking beer either like beer beer's my favorite of alcohol is this too much pissing like like it's a lot of pissing yeah it's a lot it's just too much pissing. It's a lot of pissing, yeah.

It's a lot of fucking pissing. It's just too much pissing. I don't want to be getting up that much. It tastes so much better. Not to me. What kind of beer have you had? Do you drink craft beer? If I were going to pick a beer, it would be a Mexican beer probably.

It'd be the Dos Equis and the Green Bottle. That's my favorite beer. And if I were at a Mexican restaurant, it has to be a mexican beer probably it'd be it'd be the doseki in the green bottle that's my favorite beer um and like if i were at a mexican restaurant like like it has to be a scenario if i went to a mexican restaurant with with like three friends i would totally order like a first i'd get a tequila and i and i'd drink it like a nice like 100 agave tequila have a couple shots of that but then we get a whole pitcher of like dosekis and i drink that ice cold all fucking night while i ate spicy spicy chorizo and salsa and stuff like that and i love that yeah i'm never gonna be into like craft beers that are like really hoppy or uh or any real dark beers um yeah i don't like dark beers like amp not ambers genis porters and stouts i don't like dark beers. Not ambers. Porters and stouts.

I don't like those. I had roommates that were really into Lithuanian. They were into Lithuanian beer. They come in these liter bottles and they're like 10% alcohol. I just can't deal with it. IPAs can be good.

I like the bitterness of IPAs. But if you go the crazy kind where it's like 9% alcohol and it just kind of go the crazy kind where it's 9% alcohol and it just kind of tastes like bitter shit, it's just awful. What about Corona with the lime? Is that respected at all? I love Corona with the lime.

It's great when you're sitting on the beach. It's just a nice, light beer. There's a rumor that Corona with the lime started because the beer was so fucking nasty that they had to keep flies and shit out of it so they would put lime around the top. Oh, that's funny. I think Corona's the best. I mean, I could drink it.

I'll drink just about anything, but Corona's like whew. Anything else with limes. As far as like just normal beer I can get anywhere, probably I like Guinness, Extra Stout. PBR. I like P pbr i'm not really a beer snob i'll drink about anything but i like all kinds of beer and you guys saying like you

don't like hop bitterness you gotta kind of fucking get a six-pack and just drink it you got it no you do you i can say the same thing about vinegar vinegar or molasses I know you don't like drinking hot molasses but once you have a six pack of hot molasses you'll never go back IPAs can be really good as long as like if it's like a 7%

one 6% that's not too bad but like those imperial triple IPA 12% it's like wine level of alcohol it's like this isn't even good you have to get your palate used to it is the thing like i the first time i had ipm like this tastes like fucking soap you know i wasn't a fan and then more you drink them the more your your palate and your tongue sort of gets the complex flavors they're going for now it's like you know, a milkshake to me.

Like, I can just, you guys are making me beer hungry. I'm about to go grab one, actually. I'm about to grab another drink myself. Yeah, in fact, I'll be right back. Give me one second. That's so funny, Kyle, how you're like, I don't like drinking all this rubbing alcohol, but you'll, like, rave about Tito's quality.

Well, like, it is high quality. It's the best vodka I've had. But if I were to, like to just put it in my mouth like a like you would a wine or something like try to absorb the notes of fucking, yeah, me and Chaz are always

in the same goddamn wavelength he literally goes, taste the notes I would, I might even gag you know, because it's fucking vodka alright, it's not gonna it's just the. All right? It's just the best vodka that I've ever had, which means that it has very little burn and very little taste,

and it's smooth. Like, the viscosity of it is just right. I keep mine in the freezer so it's a little thick. It's so cold that I, like, get some juice in my mouth, and then I do the swig of it and then I change it some more and I can feel the juice start to freeze as it mixes with the vodka because the juice freezes

at a lower temperature because it's fucking juice than the vodka. The vodka is like 20 degrees or something. I got my freezer turned all the way down because I don't eat frozen food anymore so my freezer is just as cold as my refrigerator. It's just the vodka chamber now. It absolutely is. There's just a handle of vodka in there and some ice.

That's it. I mean, different strokes, I guess. Like if your goal is you're just trying to tie on a buzz or get drunk and so you do your quick glug, glug, glug, like that fits for you. Like if I'm out with friends or like socializing at home with people or something, the last thing I want to do is like, alright everybody, give me a minute. I'm going to go take

five shots out of a glass cup and be wasted in 30 minutes. Probably 20 minutes. I don't know. I don't want any of them. I don't know. I don't fit in this conversation. I don't want to drink. I don't want to have to drink. Don't make me do it. I don't want it.

I don't like it. It's yucky. You kind of like the Mexican beers with lime. You kind of admitted, oh, that was pretty refreshing, right? Or am I misremembering something? The Corona with the lime? I always thought it was the least offensive. Dos Equis is a better version of that. Dos Equis is very good. I can agree with that.

It's my favorite beer, 100%. When I was living with roommates or whatever, we'd go to a Mexican place all the time. I was 19, but they were 25. They would go in and get a table out on the patio, order a pitcher of beer, and then I'd hop the fence over into the patio, slide in, and start drinking.

You've already served a minor, bitch. You really want to see my ID? I'm wearing a shirt and tie. Do you really want to press this issue? I didn't think so. Enchiladas, please. And that worked like 95% of the time. I'm wearing a shirt and tie.

I got slacks and dress shoes on. Yeah, a waiter or a waitress doesn't give a fuck. They're just trying to get tips. Eventually, I got found out. Sometimes we'd eat at the bar, and she carded me at the bar, and I was like, I don't have it. She's like, oh, I cannot serve you.

All my Mexicans sound the same. I cannot serve you. She recognized me from the other economy I mean, all my Mexicans sound the same. I can't out-serve you. And I was like, sure. Do you recognize me from the other encounter with the Mexican person last time? It's just the same Mexican woman you're encountering in different scenarios. I'm like, come on.

Look, I'm working with these guys. We all work together. What do you think? I'm not a child. And meanwhile, I'm 19 or whatever. But most of the times that would work, just having them order the pitcher, get at the table outside of the patio so we're out of the way,

and then just hopping that fence and sliding in and getting myself a beer going. And they wouldn't press the issue. Oh, man. Do we want to talk about this? Talk about old Kevin? I'd love to talk about old Kevin. Oh, Kevin. Of course we do.

Looks like Kevin's innocent. Looks like Kevin has been accused of many spurless, harmful accusations being thrown at his character. Disparager. Lies. Before I posted that kitchen video, they thought they had me

caught. They thought they had me cornered. Little did they know, even in the production of that video, I had a young child pleasuring me orally beneath the counter. As I was chopping papers, you had no idea I was throat-fucking an eight-year-old Samoan boy who I had flown on Bill

Clinton's private airplane. What do you mean? Get out of here. Don't lock me up. No, I... I am a rapist, but I am a quality politician. Like, what's he... that was the most tone deaf stupid video like I will not change my mind on that like he dug yeah he dug himself a little bit of a grave

with that no how dare you that is the greatest actor of our generation alright that was not tone deaf I'm not saying it wasn't hilarious how dare you Taylor it was hilarious they think they can keep the strongest president in the history I'm not saying it wasn't hilarious. How dare you, Taylor? I'm not saying it was hilarious. They think they can keep the strongest president in the history of this country from raping boys whenever he sees fit?

Now, here in Louisiana, we call that a tight hole punch. And I enjoy it thoroughly, especially when I'm cooking in my kitchen and my wife is fucking one of my secret service agents, who I will then fuck after she's finished. I did it for eight years. Nobody said a thing. Do you really think I wouldn't threaten you with rape? You know me better than anyone

and you know that the first chance I get, I'll spread those little cheeks and insert this presidential penis deep as it can go. I'm a little rubbery this time. That's because I have a cup. Did you prepare this speech? Are you just doing stuff on top of your head? I'm just making shit up.

You're good at improv. You should look more into that. Apparently, Kevin Spacey claims that his alleged sex assault victim lied about his age and encouraged a mutual flirtation, according to the Nantucket District Court, filing obtained by Daily News. Do you think I don't have boys lined around the block

to suck my cock? That I would have to manipulate a child into molesting them? It's unacceptable. I won't stand for it. I rape when I want to rape. I gave the little boy his play school scooter and showed him the door and yet he showed back up saying I don't know where I am so I'll call my parents. Now this is my first day on the hill so I knew with subtext and what this meant he wanted me deep in his little mouth

as deep as my tendrils go in the state department in the fbi but i do think he did it but I do think he did it I don't think he did I think he's just a horn dog and he got you know I don't know if anyone's ever been fishing but you know they have these weird rules

where like oh if your bass is shorter than 9 inches you gotta throw it back and sometimes what people accidentally do is they'll go ahead Oh, if your bass is shorter than nine inches, you've got to throw it back. And sometimes what people accidentally do is they'll go ahead and chop the head off their fish, right? They're getting them instead of just keeping them whole in their cooler. Well, if you get pulled over via boat by the fish and wildlife people, they have no way of telling how long that fish was. And you get pulled up on charges now for,

and you could lose your fishing license. I know someone this happened to, and it was a serious, it was a serious incident. Just because he cut the head off this fish he caught. I think that's what happened to Kevin here. He was out there fishing. He's out there fishing,

and he thought he had the right age, but then he chopped the kid's head off. Well, I don't know. Maybe it's not a perfect analogy, but... Yes, the boy does not have pubic hair, but the lack of a head does not denote that he is as young as you're claiming. He'd be much taller if I hadn't cut off his head. Yes, he may still be wearing Oshkosh Bigosh shoes, and I happen to wear their adult man collection.

And not just because I get to spend a lot of time in the store and in the changing room area. I suffer from epilepsy and the LED lights flashing on his shoes sit me into a fit. And I lost all control of my bodily functions.

What happened next, I couldn't say. Except for one, yeah. But when I awoke and came out of my st functions. What happened next, I couldn't say. Except for one, yeah. But when I awoke and came out of my stupor, covered in fun and the smell of ass, there was feces everywhere.

What was that thing that Charlie and Max say about their dad in that Sonny episode where the judge is reading like, and I'll rape you and my son in the butt, in the stink, until the whole room stinks of your butt. The room stinks like

ass or something like that. That's one of the funniest scenes in that show. And then they just play the recording, yeah, and I'm gonna say that you fucked Mac's butt, and my butt, and the recording yeah and i'm gonna say that you fucked matt's butt max butt and my butt and they'll hold the whole room smell like butt just them conspiring to throw this guy under the bus and it's all recorded and he's just playing it on matter of fact that's a great show yeah it's a great show not look i i've said it

before i'll say it again i don't care what the fuck kevin spacey did he could do whatever at a certain point you're talented enough and you're contributing enough to like society that i think you should be able to do whatever the fuck you want all right and i literally mean that i i think that kevin spacey wants to yeah absolutely um you're not quite there yet woody but but keep it up i think think that Kevin Spacey should be able to, you know, grab some 17-year-old boys' asses, you know, with reckless abandon. And no one should really be able to say anything. You know, I feel like Daniel Day-Lewis, for example, a higher echelon of skill. He could kill three prostitutes a year. Three.

That's his limit. That's his bag limit. So it's like the purge for fucking... Not exactly. It's more like deer season, right? You know? You kill a buck. You punch your license.

That's one buck. You can kill two more this year. You know? Daniel Day-Lewis. Oh! One horse strangled. Punch. Becky got it good.

Is there an exchange ratio to whores to regular women? Absolutely. Like, do you have any more prostitutes a year or one regular woman? I don't make a distinction. Oh, okay. And also, I didn't even refer to sex whores as a whore. Yeah. Big difference.

Prostitutes aren't people. I don't agree with that. He can kill as many prostitutes as he wants. 50, 60? I don't agree with that necessarily, but I agree that I think that we should separate art from the artist a lot of times. Like, who's that director that raped Roman Polanski?

I'm like, well, yeah, he did that, but he makes some good movies so i'm gonna watch him you know like you ever seen powder we should do that uh no i'm not no that's made by a rape a child molester wait which watch movie powder i have the same guy who did jeepers creepers yeah i know he's a child molester or i did that yeah yeah his movies just suck but i don't watch those just because they suck but powder is uh is a really good movie i remember when i was a kid that like my mom being like oh don't watch that that's that i remember what they said but they said that like the guy who made it was like a child molester or something like that i never understood what was the deal until i grew up and i like googled it it was like oh yeah yeah he is good movie though

good movie kind of sad oh you know a good movie i saw just last night it's a horror film on netflix it's called uh the i think it's called the autopsy of jane doe that's a good movie and usually when i go into a netflix it's funny how quickly that shift happened in netflix where like for the initial like when netflix first started producing films i was like wow these are all hit hit hit hit hit hit like these are great and then it got like explosive and so many of them sucked that like my expectations have plummeted i think this is a netflix original otherwise what i just said means nothing i'm pretty sure it's netflix original it's really really good uh i don't even know what to say without spoiling anything it was one of the first movies that like genuinely like gave me a spook

in a while like it was a genuinely scary movie and and it's a pretty shocking movie yeah what's it called again it's called the autopsy of jane doe i only i saw it because it was being promoted on netflix on that main screen when you first hop on the app. It's really good. You guys, if you're looking for a good horror movie out there, check that one out. I recommend it too. By the way, Kyle, the guy that did Jeepers Creepers did

Powder, so same dude. Do you see his name there? Victor Salva. It doesn't ring any bells. Powder is a weird movie. I haven't seen this as a kid, but it's like this albino kid with like telekinesis or something like that. And he's like getting picked on constantly. It's pretty fucked. I remember being real sad.

But I think there's like a scene where... How is that a spoiler, Chiz? Like if you look at the fucking cover. Look at the cover of the movie. There's an albino fucking kid. And put two and two together, who wouldn't mock that weird looking fuck, right? We'd pick on him if he was here on the show.

I would. Go outside. Look at you with your birth defect. You can't help. I bet you can't go out in the sun comfortably. Mr. SPF 100 coming in They grind his ass up in western Africa

and use him to cure their AIDS I have been led to believe there is a lot of gold in this man's head I love your African voice Your guy's accent, sir Yeah, you're great. I want that guy. That's my favorite accent you do.

It's the African man who is very confused about the way life works. I just know if I kill enough bald men, I will get clean water. I have killed dozens of them, some children, just to be sure. And, you know, raping the virgins to cure the hiv of course unfortunately i am still very infected that would be the funniest thing if like like a motivational nike poster but it's talking about like cracking into bald man skulls for gold and raping virgins to get rid of your AIDS. Just do it.

You have nothing to lose. The commercial begins, and it's a low angle, and it's just a runner's feet wearing Nikes. And it pans up, and there's this West African guy just running beautifully. Long, lengthy

limbs. He's killing it it he's clearly a world class runner in my village i was told that if i worked hard i could achieve my goal to cure the hiv which he envisaged with and then it pans up and you see he's chasing an albino guy who's just terrified and running. Or it's like that old Mia Hamm, Michael Jordan commercial where it's like two runners being like anything you can do, I can do better.

And then he caves the skull of the bald man in. And the other guy's like, anything you can do, I can do better. You know, rapes a virgin. I don't think this would be a very good spot for Nike. Just do it. Just do it. You have

no government, no one coming. Oh, what a scary place to live. Woody wanted to paramotor. Oh, yeah. Woody wanted to paramotor over, What nation was it, Woody? Like three African countries. There were like four of them. One from like South Africa to Zimbabwe and...

Please come to Zimbabwe. They refer to that as the cradle of safety. My cousin in Uganda would love your flying contraption. And your white skin. He would make a lovely pair of boots out of it. South Africa, Botswana, Zimbabwe, and Zambia.

Zambia. Zambia. And you mapped this out? South of Zimbabwe. You mapped this out? Okay. It was like a competition, right? It was a paramotor race, yeah, that I thought would be, I don't know, like one of those experiences you keep with you your entire life.

Yeah, yeah. For however long that will be. We do not tell time here. We do not tell time here. That was one of the problems with giving them AIDS medication is you have to take the pills every 16 hours, every 18 hours or something like that. And these motherfuckers can't tell time. Oh, that's not true, is it? They don't have clocks. They don't have clocks?

They don't understand numbers. I feel like they do. I can't believe that. Let's Google it up. Those numbers. They cannot tell time. I feel like they do. I can't believe that. Let's Google it up. Dead cannot tell time. Clock scarcity isn't the problem. Given these people all a timex will not solve the problem.

I had no idea that was an actual thing. Is that true or did you make that up? That is from an episode of The West Wing and I will stand by it. You were right about Salt and you were right about JFK and Marilyn Monroe and they say that things that are correct come in threes.

Let's do a little Google. Do they say that? I've never heard that. No. They definitely heard that. No. I can't tell time. No, they definitely say that. Got it. I was right. Really? Let's see.

The head of the Agency for International Development is saying that many Africans don't know what Western time is. You have to take these AIDS drugs a certain number of hours each day or they don't work. Many people in Africa have never seen a clock or a watch their entire lives. As an associate producer of several documentaries, I have spent some time filming in Africa. When I arrived, I had similar concerns about correct times. So at the beginning of the shoot, I took our African work crew out at the exact starting time and told them that we would begin at that time each day they were they were

there at exactly that time every morning at the end of the first day at 4 p.m i told them to quit every day at four without being told they would gather their belongings and start for their homes they had no watches yet they knew hmm yeah how hard would that be to teach them and just be like hey when it looks like this take the medicine and then when it looks like this, take the medicine, and then when it looks like this, take the medicine. I don't know, man. Learn cuneiform. It's more complicated. When you are riddled with AIDS, it is hard

to learn a new skill. Especially when you spend all day hunting the flying men. I feel like just believing that people in Africa can't tell time is... Kyle, your facts are racist. Not as racist

as we will be when we take the flying man's machine and eat his soul. Oh! I was watching something. I was really into looking at previously uncontacted tribes on YouTube, because that shit is fascinating. just seeing the way people used to live.

I don't know, it's like a real look at our history as humans, and there are still tribes out there, and it's kind of a shame that they're all... It's partially a shame that they're all disappearing, but partially not a shame, because it's like, why should these people have to live without modern luxuries? But then a lot of them seem to roundly refuse modern luxuries. But anyway, I was watching an episode of that, and this tribe had seen planes come in and drop off supplies from whatever European country was currently there.

And so they looked at the landing strip for where the white man's planes were landing, and they built their own mountaintop bootleg landing strip. And they're all sitting up there talking about how they're waiting for a plane. Because in their heads, they think that the plane is their ancestors and their ancestors' goods,

and that the white man has stolen their ancestors' goods. And so they're like, ah, the white man built this landing strip here, and they're like ah the white man built this uh this landing strip here and they're getting all of our ancestors goodies we're gonna build our own landing strip and so they're all just up there waiting for a plane to come and like it's it's sad because they'll like see one of the elders being like we will you know the it'll come they need to get shacked up like shazam from that movie, and land up there, and come out, and be their god, and

be like, yo, y'all heard of Icy Hot? No, but we have heard of Gold Band. That's bullshit. You don't want that gold. No. I'll show up on a paramotor, and they'll be so disappointed. Oh, no.

We have been waiting. Oh, dude, they'll be so pissed if you show up on a paramotor. This must be the hideous of our ancestors. But anyway, those indigenous tribe videos on YouTube are so interesting. Yeah, I love that shit. It's fascinating

to see like where we were you know 10 000 years ago really ah yeah it's pretty long fucking time i mean i mean look i played a lot of civilization 5 okay and i thought you were gonna say rust and i was like how does rust relate here but no i played a lot of Civilization V. Probably close to 2,000 hours now, maybe more. And sometimes you just play it with a noob, and you're over there with artillery and bombers, and you're heading on up to get your ICBMs, and you look, and some fool over there still got crossbows,

and you're like, you're not very smart, are you? You couldn't figure out how to get your worker over there to mine those resources. You've got no wheat. You haven't figured out agriculture yet. What happened? You know, you're not trying. That's how I feel about those tribesmen, right?

Like those dirty abos in Australia. I mean, are they even people? Savage Americans. They followed Buffalo around for 10,000 years. Look, those gas-huffing... They didn't invent defense. Look, those gas-huffing tribesmen with their boomerangs and their didgeridoos.

Like, I watch Quigley Down Under and I'm rooting for fucking Mr. Snape and hoping that he's going to run another fucking crowd of them off that fucking cliff. And when I see that the baby survived amongst the whole pile of dead Aborigines and then the lady picks it up, I'm like, shit, they missed one. You know, like, come on. That's how we all feel, right? That's how we all feel, right? That's a yes.

I know there's some Australians listening to this, cheering you on. It's Roy. He's a dead yeah, man. Where do you stack rank? I'm sniffing off gas. Where do you stack rank? You will win, Kyle. Aboriginal versus Irish.

Savage Americans or Aboriginals? Oh, the Savage Americans, big time. The Savage Americans picked up our shit and went with it. Right away, they were like, we will trade many skins for those rifles. They understood it. They could see the technological advance.

We have no concept of money or being ripped off. These are some pretty nice beads, eh? They bought the island of Manhattan for a box of beads. Did you know that? Yeah. Those dumb fuckers.

Oh, enjoy your smallpox. But the Abos are worse. The Abos are definitely worse. Your three most hated groups, the Native Americans, aborigines and irish where's where's that stack rank i guess you said aborigines are lower for you so far they're the worst uh and i think the irish in your eyes okay i don't know the native american indians ever advanced to the point of huffing gas um you act like they were brilliant they

they never they never made that pit stop of mediocrity and shame. All right? They kept going and got their casinos rocking and rolling because they're not a stupid people. All right? They figured some shit out. Meanwhile, those fucking Abbotts... Talk to any Australian. All right? Any Australian.

They were classified under the Flora and Fauna Act until like 1976. Okay? They've only been considering those people people for about 35 or 40 years. Funny, that's like earlier than when the Mormons were

like, alright, black people can come in. You know they don't like it though. Mitt Romney I bet Mitt Romney is one of those guys who would accidentally say Martin Luther Kuhn. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. though mitt romney in pride i bet mitt romney is one of those guys who would accidentally say martin luther coon uh yeah maybe i don't know yeah i'm pretty sure that that mitt romney thinks that it is racist like like if i had to guess i would say mitt romney's definitely a racist like more so than 71 the age yeah we talked about that for like 71 over 70 yeah you

know credit where credit's due compared to all to all the other 70 year olds in dc he's looking great amazing yeah he doesn't look 70 i did not i thought he was like 55 or something exactly how would he look with gray hair by the way gangster grandma 67 oh never forget it's the nicotine man it's the nicotine. It makes your boob sag. It constricts your cardiovascular system and makes you age prematurely. And it makes your shit stain. I can't hear you. It makes your shit stain.

Damn. Oh, my God. Oh, where's that video at oh oh we got to watch let me see if i can find it oh i love that let's see i'm gonna keep bringing kevin spacey topics up because i love i love imitating him i love imitating him raping young boys. You do a very good Kevin Spacey. Very good Kevin Spacey. I love to play a rapist at night. This is your moonlighting, yeah.

Only in the past. Do you think that the Chinese consulate agreed on his own terms? No. Shit. Why do they always got to stick music on here? Nobody cares about your intro, man. What are you looking up? I'm looking for this, uh... This, uh...

This Wings video about him getting his uh twitch suspended because the clip the like the uh the credits in the end like the executive producer and everything was hilarious like it was like kenny b pillin was his executive producer kenny his wings brother um who had the pill addiction oh executive producer can he be pilling oh my god and did you see that guy that wanted to spit on me on twitter taylor i know you see some of my tweets sometimes no i didn't see that why do you was it like a tongue-in-cheek thing why do do you want to spit on me? Oh, he was really mad at me. I think I can find it pretty quickly. He wrote...

I'll go to your Twitter. What are you going to tag? Go fuck yourself, dude. You're a scumbag. And when Wing attempts to kill himself, you're going to make a video like the hypocrite you are. I wish I could spit on your face every day, bitch. That guy's

fucking mad. Wait, where is he? I'm going to retweet that. Retweet mine. I just wrote, little does he know, spitting is my kink. Go fuck yourself, dude. You're a scumbag. Oh, I see it you're gonna make a video like a hypocrite you are i wish you could spin your face every day

that's so fucking funny that is can we all can we all retweet this i'm retweeting it i'm retweeting it too it'll be uh russia's first tweet in six years. Spit on your face. Oh, that's hilarious. Man, you should milk that. That's a quality hater. Seriously.

That guy's fucking dedicated. He is dedicated. Twitter can be such a funny place in such a place of just sheer retardation. Yeah, I agree. All the TikTok memes are really funny. I'm enjoying those. I've been streaming TikTok.

Oh, TikTok is fucking cringe city. Oh, it's great. It's so fucking bad. I've been streaming that on twitch actually and it gets a uh just tiktok cringe compilations on youtube and like reacting to it it is the worst thing like it hurts i seriously got like an ulcer so it's a game tiktok it's an app it's like it's like snapchat but there's music and people lip sync and it's like Snapchat, but there's music and people lip sync, and it's fucking bad. Yeah.

I can't play it because there's so many songs, but the Twitter account, Ironic TikToks, is hilarious. The Ironic ones are good, but the cringe ones are literally painful. They physically hurt me when I watch them. Does it make your stomach hurt, kind of sink? I felt like an ulcer, um, starting honestly. Last time I watched it,

it was fucking awful, but people love it. So people love the cringe compilations at least. Yeah. I don't recommend it. So they just like, uh, I don't know. You put two videos next to each other.

It's sort of like they, okay. So they have these songs you can pick from, and then you pick a song, and then you lip sync to it, or it's like a clip from a show or whatever. But the way people do it is just not good. They're not very self-aware of their own cringiness and stuff. So, yeah.

I'd recommend looking it up in your own time but i wouldn't doing too much of it it's very funny but it's fucking it's it's upsetting sometimes i saw a funny one just now i i say like i wouldn't recommend what he's just like going off like dominoes on him there's two guys next to each other right one's a normal dude seems fine

the other is like a 10 out of 10 super hot shirtless dude and the first one holds up a sign like this guy thinks he's hot and he gets up and walks away but he's got like a huge erection. All right, Kyle, you got something for us? Yeah, so this is the gentleman who tried to rob Pollyanna Vianna, a UFC fighter.

Are they in Brazil? Is that where it took place? Yeah, Rio de Janeiro. The only problem for the perpetrator was his target was a strawweight UFC fighter who turned the tables on the thief with punches, a kick, and a rear naked choke before forcing him to sit and wait for the police.

MMA fighter Pollyanna Viana, nicknamed the Iron Lady, told website MMA Junkie that the thief used a fake gun to try and steal her mobile phone while she waited outside her apartment block on Saturday night. When he saw me, I saw him. He sat next to me, Vianna said. He asked me the time. I said it, and I saw he was going to leave,

so I already moved to put my cell phone in my waist. In your waist? That's going to hurt. And then he said, give me the phone. Don't try to react because I'm armed. Then he put his hand over a gun, but I realized it was too soft. The gun! They got a picture of the gun!

It's a folded up piece of cardboard. Oh my God. He even folded like a hammer into it. That's going the wrong way, mind you. By the way, Pollyann is lying, and I'm going to get to where wrong way mind you by the way pollyann is lying and i'm going to get to where she's lying in just a moment she says he was really close to me so i thought if it's a gun he won't have time to draw it so i stood up i threw two punches and a kick he fell then i caught him in a rear naked choke look at this man's face yeah dude that man took 35 punches and 18 kicks

and then at least two or three rear naked chokes. He was unconscious. You know when Archer gets knocked unconscious and they're like, how long have I been out? I don't know, half an hour. That's really bad for you. That's what you did to him. He was unconscious for half an hour.

Look at how little that guy is. He should not be mugging people. And she's wearing a UFC shirt! Yeah, he's basically displaying, like, I'll kick your ass. You should have known better. What a douche. Fuck him.

You know what my theory is? I bet she did just do some punches and kick, and then rear naked choke, and then when he was out, she did more. Probably, yeah. Something happened to this man that's not being disclosed here because he looks like he was in a violent car accident. In that bottom picture, is that blood on his shirt?

Yeah. And his pants and his leg. He looks worse than that raccoon. He does. Not as funny as the raccoon, though. No, that's funny. Imagine if she dragged him into a McDonald's and the guy

was there filming. She's wearing a U.S.C. shirt. She brought this bloody man into a McDonald's. Here's a tip. Look at how much of his blood is on her. You know how much of a beating you have to give someone till you're soaked in their blood yeah it's all over her form i bet she was from the choke yeah oh yeah yeah that makes sense yeah from the choke it's oh man is there uh there's a

couple good uh ufc uh fights coming up henry sahjudo versus TJ Dillashaw. I think Cejudo might be a favorite in that. I don't get that. I'm shocked by that. I don't see how anybody can bet against fucking TJ Dillashaw at this point. Against just about anybody. Is that the cowboy? No. TJ Dillashaw.

I like how they say his name. It just rolls up. TJ Dillashaw. I don't know how his name. It just rolls up. TJ Dillashaw. I don't know how you could bet against that guy. I don't know. And if he stepped up to like Featherweight, like, okay, now he's going to really struggle against those guys. But in his class, in any class below it, he's a bad motherfucker.

Like after taking Cody Garbrandt out like that, I got a lot of respect for him. Twice. How much bigger is he? How much bigger is he? Have you seen them stand next to each other? I kind of haven't. I bet they're very similar in stature. I just don't have the same respect for Henry Cejudo as I do for TJ Dillashaw.

He's got that gold medal in wrestling, and he beat DJ. He absolutely does. I heard Chael speak on this and he would know more about wrestling certainly than I would, but he said that he thinks that Henry Cejudo is the best amateur wrestler in the UFC, but he thinks that T.J. Dillashaw might just be the best MMA wrestler in UFC. And he's very interested to see who controls those positions and how that turns out. But I think T.J. is going to strike with this guy and he's not going to be able to handle TJ striking. TJ is very fast and he's even more powerful.

And he's smart. And he's got a great corner. Clearly his corner is going to, round two, they're going to be adjustments made. If round one doesn't go well, round three, even more adjustments. I can't see Dillashaw losing this. I would definitely bet on Dillashaw if I could. Every time they have these two great wrestlers up against each other, it turns into a striking match. Striking. Yeah, absolutely.

And Dillashaw is just so good. Yeah, and then you got Lawler versus, I don't know if it's the same card. I haven't been looking at the cards. I think it's not. I want to say the Cejudo Dillijal is an ESPN Plus Fight Night card. Yeah. Okay. I'm very interested to see the Ben Askren fight.

I think his debut is going to be very important. Did he sign with UFC? Oh, yeah. He's fighting Robbie Lawler in a couple months. Robbie Lawler is a fucking savage. Yeah. All right. He was, but like, to me, Robbie Lawler had a career resurgence

when we were playing paintball five years ago. Yeah. Right? That feels like forever ago in fighter years. Yeah, sure. That's true. That's true. Although Ben Askren's no spring chicken.

I think it's a really good matchup for both of them. Yeah, Rip Rory, for sure. fighter years yeah sure that's true that's true although ben askren's no spring chicken um i i think it's i think it's a really good matchup for both of them yeah rip rory for sure canadian psycho is uh it was never the same again uh never looked the same again either but but but uh yeah ben askren's no spring chicken at 34 or 35 whatever the fuck he is probably 35 this year somewhere sometime um but i i have bought into the mystique of ben askren and i hope that it's uh that it was a good purchase i hope that ben askren comes in there and uh mauls people until uh they have no choice but to but to give him a title shot uh at whatever weight class he deems uh that he'd like to fight in i i'm very fascinated with that guy the guy

that like you know you hear rogan and those guys talk about oh if only ben askren was in the ufc what could he do what could he do that's the guy that's the guy all right so askren and woodley are in real life friends they're not going to fight so put 165 woodley at 175 let askren get his way to a title. Champion versus champion. Nermy versus Askren. Yeah, that's the fight. Yeah. At 165. Yeah, absolutely. I agree 100%. Nermy versus Askren. Absolutely.

Yeah, I'd love that fight. I'd like to see Conor and Tony. That's probably the fight I want to see the most. I'd like to see Hollowor and Tony. That's probably the fight I want to see the most. I'd like to see Holloway versus Tony as well. That's another one that I would really like to see. And then Ben Askren and Habib is probably the third one that I'm really looking for. And anyone who can beat the fuck out of Tyron Woodley. That's the number one fight.

I want them to make Tyron Woodley fight Jon Jones. That's what I want. I want Jon Jones to fight Tyron Woodley. That's the number one fight. I want them to make Tyron Woodley fight Jon Jones. That's what I want. I want Jon Jones to fight Tyron Woodley. Give me that fight. Give me fucking Jon Bones Jones against Tyron Woodley and let him split that fucking goofy looking hairline he's got with one of those goddamn elbows

like a praying mantis out there. How about Brock Lesnar versus Tyrone Woodley? Oh, that's... That would be unfair. Yeah, that wouldn't be fair. That would be very unfair.

I'd like to see Brock and John. I'd like to see Brock and... I thought they already signed that away, Brock and John. Brock, nah. Brock is... Well, see, first it was going to be Brock and John, and then John got popped, and then it was going to be Brock and Cormier.

But the thing is Brock makes so much money with WWE that he's just – he can pick and choose when he goes and fights in the UFC. He's just making so much money with WWE. He doesn't seem like he's in a rush to come over and fight anyone. So it seems more likely that Cormier is going to fight one of the other heavyweight contenders. I can't think of who it is. Stipe he's been talking about.

Yeah, yeah. Cormier will probably fight Stipe and then retire. That's my bet. Cormier don't want any of Jones. He's not going to go back to that. You're saying that DC versus Lesnar would be unfair. Who's that unfair for? Oh, we weren't saying that that would be unfair.

We were saying that Lesnar versus Tyron Woodley, who fights at 170 pounds. Yeah, that would be so unfair. Jon Jones is two weight classes away. I don't know why three is so like, oh, now you've really done it, Woody. I think Brock walks around at like 270, 280, though. He's got a hundred pounds.

And Jon, I felt like we were trying to find ridiculous people to beat the hell out of tyrone would we get a tiger that's true you know i i i want to see john jones because that would actually like look normal and it would be like a decent fight but john would just outclass him in every way i feel like you think so oh yeah oh yeah bigger man by 30 fucking pounds brock's always surprised me because his actual skill is not that good. His wrestling is strong, but his striking is lame. It is bad, but he's so fucking... That man's genetics are just ridiculous.

He's like, what, 40 now? And I still watch wrestling occasionally, and he fucking moves like he did 15 years ago. Yeah, it's the word we're looking for. Absolutely, genetics. Genetics gave him those hands the size of people's head. It gave him that Cro-Mag forehead as well.

He'll be fighting another enormous man and you'll be like, Jesus, does that guy have really small hands or is that guy holding whole hams? I wonder what a Brock Lesnar who never took steroids would look like. He would look like

a monster. He'd still be huge. He'd still be huge, yeah. I feel like that man's gonna be huge until he dies, honestly. Yeah, fully. They didn't change his bone structure. You know, he was 80. No way! Yeah! I mean, he'll still be big compared to fucking me. I'm like 180 right now. That guy's not getting past 60. 65. You mean, he'll still be big compared to fucking me. I'm like 180 right now.

That guy's not getting past 60, 65. You don't think so? No way. Look at Stallone. Stallone's been juicing forever. Stallone, yeah. Stallone's old as shit. I hear you.

Yeah, I don't know. But I, I, I, Daniel, look at Rich Piana. Like, those guys died, man. Rich Piana was, was a whole new level of that shit like look at him flexing his arms are disgusting like the veins are so coiled up like a dying snake and so thick like it's not a uh like when you see you know when you see somebody who's like really jacked you're like oh wow like that's dedication that's a lot of work. Like, you look at that guy, and your first thought is, like, almost revulsion. You're like,

yeah, what have you done? Who told you that was good? Why? Why did you keep going? And going? Is he that crazy? I'm gonna Google him. I just Googled him. He's pretty fucking nasty. Yeah, it's nasty

it's it's like like like no it does look like bane from because yeah absolutely so yeah i i what i ufc's been good this year i i i i've heard that their numbers aren't great for the year but but i don't give a fuck if they make money or not. I'm a consumer of a product, right? And to me, the product last year was excellent. I got a lot of stuff I wanted. I got a lot of big fights. I got a lot of the fights I wanted. And you can talk about whether Usman or Colby should be fighting Tyron, and there's a lot of injustice there, I suppose.

But I still got a lot of good fights that I really wanted. And a lot of my favorite fighters won and dominated and won multiple championships even. So it was a good year. It was a good year out of the UFC. I look forward to next year and what they do with this ESPN contract. I want to see Connor do something. Although I hear he's talking about fighting Pauly Magnioli.

Oh, God. Really? I didn't hear that. Yeah. We'll see what happens there. I want Connor to fight GSP, Khabib to fight Tony, winners fight each other. God damn. Isn't GSP really old now? Like, he's

out of the game? Yeah, kind of. How old is he? Or really old by professional fighters? He's 37, and he hasn't fought in... He fought last year. He fought last year. Yeah, he fought...

Michael Bisping. He beat Bisping. That man knows how to pick his shots, right? Bisping was a good matchup. I thought Hendricks beat GSP way back in the day. Oh, and he paid the iron price. Yeah. Hendricks was juiced as fuck.

Oh, so juiced. And Matt Serra. I'm not definitely a UFC historian. I've only been kind of a fan for the last three or four years. But I want to say he lost to Serra. He did, yeah. What's his name? Both times he came back and he punished those men for what they did to him.

Matt Serra got a real whooping. That's all you can call it. I think he fought Hendricks once. He just didn't lose. So he didn't have a fix. Who's the other loss? Am I right? He fought Hendricks. It was a split decision. I watched that fight and that was around the time I stopped watching.

Fucking upset about that decision because I thought Hendricks won plain as day. Personally. Yeah, Hendricks has had a real sad career uh yeah he's he went on him quick yeah once that once they started the usada testing it was clear that like oh you were only even good at this because you're on steroids like without the steroids you're you don't have the tool like you you've got the skill but you don't have the tools naturally that's not the discipline either he's missed weight three times in his last like five fights the pets help with that too yeah yeah the pets help with that too and and he's not getting them anymore clearly and and it's it's obvious he shouldn't be fighting that weight class and then if he goes up a weight class he he's not competitive at all because he's barely competitive in his own weight class and it's just kind of a sad story and it looks bad

he looks he looks like a regular joe uh yeah when you see him out there when before he was kind of a tank of a man and he had some hammers for fists but you know whatever i was never a huge fan of his but gsp is just a goddamn freak of nature uh And I enjoy his interviews. I enjoy his fighting. I'm a big GSP fan. I wish he was more active. You should go back and watch the Joe Rogan experience where they talk about the aliens.

When he talks about the alien abduction shit and how he loses time and stuff like that. GSP does? He misses time? stuff like that. GSP does? He misses time? What? He believes that the aliens are kidnapping him. They don't tell me that it is because of repeated strikes to the head.

I know that is not the case. It is alien. Of course not. It has nothing to do with the concussions. And my Canadian accent always turns into amazing and angry. I was about to say what do you guys think about BJ Penn still fighting by the way because he got fucking embarrassed

he got so embarrassed they gave him the best matchup they could possibly give him they gave him that guy who's sort of a specialized submission artist and BJ came out and his striking was clearly better than the other guy but that guy was very quick and his uh his knee bar or whatever he put uh uh bj in was locked sunk and tight so

fast that that it was it was frankly embarrassing you know this is the guy who gave gsp a run for his money a few years ago and now you see him like we're just talking about gsp greatest of all time probably like definitely there's three guys in my opinion who are in that in that conversation and gsp is definitely one of them and a couple years ago bj was was giving him a run for his money and now you know he's losing to this submission artist in like round one by an e-bar that that like he should have felt coming, I feel like. I wouldn't have felt it coming. I'm not saying that it was going to be. I was going to say he should have as skilled as he is, yeah.

Yeah. It was just stupid. I watched that gif of him applying it because it's so – I mean, the guy that beat him, Ryan Hall, is fucking good. That was the first time I've seen him. Very good. The way he applied that, like, precision, pinpoint. Yeah, he's practiced that for endless hours.

Yeah. I'm sure. I'm sure that's something that he does every single day, that he's practicing that. It's just a goddamn shame. I like BJ. You know, I'm a BJ fan. I would love it if,

you know, he could stay young forever, but he should clearly be out of the sport and coaching or something like that. You know, he went down to Brazil. He redoubled his efforts. He got out of Hawaii where I guess they were just amazing.

They just spar. And that was kind of their training. Woody, I can hear your keyboard real loud. And, and just went, it just went poorly for him. I don't know. It was sad to watch.

Woody goes, sorry, my 24-hour internet connection didn't get logged on again. Only the best! Am I in the right mic? yeah do not all hotels do that? mine the last one I stayed in didn't no

sorry I had to go put five more dollars in quarters in the swap I got a better hotel just for this show and it didn't pay off at all. $27 a night? Shit, Negro!

That's all you had to say! I really tried. I tried. I paid double. Double? It's $129 a night here. Don't break the bank, Woody. Don't break the bank. It's only so nice in town.

This might be the best hotel in town Have you ever Taken a Fiji water From those fridges In your life Like you're really thirsty You don't want to go to the icebox There's no fridge here Taylor Are you crazy

My mic isn't even plugged in What kind of highfalutin Place you think I'm going in Where they have refrigerators We got Dasani up in here That's so fucking funny God damn I looked up

Yeah yeah you sound good i'm looking up i looked up the worst ufc names nicknames in history just because i was curious number one was based on this bleacher report article was joseph the ho bag bonchanic his record is 0-10. But surprisingly, they have number two as our main man, Joe J. Lau Lozon. I strongly disagree with this ranking system, and I thought it was

funny up until number two. What was the list of? I linked it there, if you scroll up a bit. The shittiest UFC nicknames. Like the dumbest things. There's Hobart the French tickler Cornette. There's

Logan the pink pounder Clark. I disagree with number six. I think the Dreamcatcher is a good ass nickname. He's like catching your dreams and fucking destroying them. And his last name is Musashi. Musashi's fucking good, man. Oh, that goes right with the drink.

How about Marius the White Mare? I like that. That's a little... Holly, the preacher's daughter, home! There's Ron H2O Waterman. Dan, the police officer cop. Holly Holm She has the worst nickname in my opinion The preacher's daughter is so fucking stupid

I cringe I cringe Holly The preacher's daughter Holm And she's over there looking like a god damn man With a clit bigger than my cock, and I'm just like, God, why don't you call her the Butcher

or something? Fuck! I want to see someone fuck with the UFC and, like, make their nickname, like, a racial epithet and, like, stick with it. Barry Clark Black Beast Lewis No, I wanted to see, like, Tom

the Johnson Now I wanted to see like Tom the Boop! Johnson! And he has to yell that out and I'm so uncomfortable Wait, we didn't cover 13 Pedro the Pedro Otavia

His name is his name Pedro squared I like Scott Tickle Fight Tomitz The Ash Cream Man The Ash Cream Man. The Ash Cream Man. Sean the Muscle Shark Shirk. Muscle Shark's cool. I like Muscle Shark. Muscle Shark is cool because I associate that with the Street Sharks, which was a

very cool show. Oh, I love it. I feel like you monetize your nickname and fighting style, right? Like, I don't know, like, Woody Costco's Woodworth coming out of raleigh north carolina kyle the seven layer burrito woody woody the postmates kid you know what a toyota gamer tag there we go

woody's toyota gamer tag oh woody has stepped his his truck game up he is he's riding in a uh Woody Toyota Gamer Tag. There we go. There it is. Woody's Toyota Gamer Tag. Oh, Woody has stepped his truck game up. He's riding in an F-150 these days. It is Woody Truck Month Woodwork. Oh, that would be so funny. Instead of branding their nicknames. Dead Air. Dead air. Dead air.

I like it when it gets a little quiet. Let's you think about things. Everybody's always trying to fill dead air. That's a sign of maybe you don't have a few social skills. Those are the people always trying to fill dead air in conversations. When sometimes, if you're just sitting,

enjoy that. There's people always trying to fill dead air in conversations. When sometimes if you're just sitting... Enjoy that little moment of silence. Taylor, I've been wanting to talk to you about this. So the Blues and the Flyers squared off in a battle for last place supremacy. We can't even win at losing. I can't believe we lost. We still lost. We were at an eight-game winning streak out of that.

You guys lost badly to the Blues. Such a terrible team. Yeah, I was hoping. At this point, I'm done with the Blues season. We have no chance of going to the playoffs. And so I'm all aboard the suck cock and get a good draft pick train. And we can't beat the Flyers when we want to win seemingly and we can't lose to them when we should lose and so that's incredibly frustrating i i was very happy with the way that we lost you guys three nothing beautiful i think we won tonight so that's not good. No, you don't want to win. We had just taken a place from Ottawa.

Let's see. Oh, goddammit, we won tonight too. Ah, yes! Yes, we could. We beat the Canadians 4-1, yeah? Yeah, that... We beat Dallas 2-1. Dallas buttfucked us last night.

See, you guys beat them on a back-to-back. We really set you up for success there. Dammit. We're trying to uh this season is so disappointing like i know people hate hockey talk but i follow it pretty closely even in off seasons where we suck dick even though it's pretty often but golly we're so fucking bad like even on uh the reddit that i spend the most time on the hockey one like they'll have threads like what's the biggest surprise of the season? What's the biggest like upset or biggest? Like you didn't see this coming or like what take has been proven wrong,

you know, from the preseason takes threat or whatever. And like all the number one is like, how on earth are the blues this bad? Like I keep going through their roster and they should be good. Like every expert was projecting them to be a contender this year. just a good team a fucking contender for the cup and we suck donkey dick night in and night out unless it comes to we need to lose and then we win for a millisecond i was gonna act like you got screwed in the brendan shen deal what is that his name but helping me get it better. Braden Chen. But, fuck, I mean, it's not like we're winning.

That's not good either. He's been fine for us, but I'm pretty sure we're going to trade him. We'd be last place in the league, but we won. Yeah, I think LA is a little behind you now. By one point. Yeah, we're all shitty.

Are you a hockey fan at all? Say that again? I was asking Blame Truth if are you a hockey fan at all lost say it again i was asking blame truth if he's a hockey fan at all no i kind of checked out right actually yeah you said north carolina right i'm from carolina yeah i don't know what's it i want to know where in north carolina you're from without doxing you oh how don't know how to handle that. Do you know where Winston-Salem is? Yeah, it's west of Greensboro-ish, I think. Name a crossroads. Right near you.

Look outside and read the sign. I'm sort of near there, but I'm more near... If I wanted to lick your doorbell, sir, where would I need to go? Boone, NC. Boone, North Carolina.

I've been to Boone. I have a friend from Boone. Yeah. I live about 45 minutes to an hour away from there. Oh, I was just about to ask if you knew my friend, but I'm going to go with no. Why? Why would he know your friend?

Because you live 45 minutes away from him. What are the fucking odds that he would know your friend bone is not a big town like what are the odds that you know someone from your original town like the high school you went to thousands of people there i know like 80 of them he's a well-known clown kyle he's a well-known clown it's the clown guy oh well the clown guy all right we'll never fucking mind oh have you seen a man dressed as a clown driving a scary fucking ambulance that's been changed into sort of a rape van wait wait wait uh is it an ice cream truck?

It's an animal. You know me. I've seen a creepy ice cream truck with a clown grabbing it. Were you warned of a scary clown in the area? If so, you know Woody's friend by association at least. Did you hear banging from the inside of the van?

I actually think it's an ever alert with him in it actually. at least. Did you hear banging from the inside of the van? I got an alert with him in it, actually. Or something to that effect. But no, I don't know any clowns specifically. You're not aware of Santa Clown by chance? No, never heard of that. Okay.

I'll ask around Boone, though, next time I'm up there. That's his tactic. To be so horrifying that kids just opt out of believing it. I'm pretty hard. No difficult conversation. I hope Woody's friend doesn't watch the show, because I am pretty hard on him. But he seems like, Woody says he's a genuinely nice guy and everything, and I believe that. But he's a weird, creepy motherfucker, if you ask me.

He marches to the piano to tell a drummer. creepy motherfuckers, you ask me. I've never met him or anything. Yeah, and his drummer is a death drum calling children to the back of his van so that he can eviscerate them and eat their buttholes. Kyle, it's an ambulance. There's nothing weird about that.

Oh, these tie-downs? Well, yeah, I wasn't going to remove them. It's nice to have a birdie with straps. You know, it's kind of a keepsake. He plays by the beat of his own drum, but the beat of that drum is the guy from the Amistad. He's not a good drum beat to be living by. I'm so afraid of Woody's friend.

Like, I honestly think the world would be better if he wasn't in it. Oh, jeez, Kyle. Nobody likes clowns. I was going to say, Kyle looked directly into the camera, like directly into the fucking camera when he said that, so I'm taking him seriously. Because I meant it. I meant it.

I meant every word of it. I find him to be repulsive, to be frightening, and I don't care for him. I'm sure he's a wonderful guy. Probably a great dad, too, and husband and all that. I bet he wouldn't cheat on his wife because who wants to fuck a clown? But maybe that's your fetish. Clearly, you found one.

But I'm terrified of him. And I think the general populace is as well. And I love that rant he went on on facebook where he was like it's really messed up that uh you know people look down on clowns and they're afraid of us it's it's really it's about to just drive me out of clowning full time just like good good get a real hobby you creepy fuck yeah clowning is not like isn't aren't clowns the number one phobia of people like the number one most common thing people are speaking being burned alive clowns yeah and there's not a guy going out well actually there are people like burn victims going out

they're like it's not so bad uh by the way. But clown's like number five. Wait, what are you afraid of the most? What was that? Oh, the number one's heights. But clown's are like number five or so, I think. The dentist, clowns, dogs. Dogs? Really? I don't understand

being... Yeah, dogs. Oh, dogs would make sense. Like, if you're bitten as a little kid, maybe you're just always afraid of dogs. Jess, would you please show the audience this man's picture in case anyone thinks that maybe I overste as a little kid, maybe you're just always a friend of dogs. Would you please show the audience this man's picture in case anyone thinks that maybe I overstepped a little there? Yeah, make sure BlameJude sees that too in our chat. Make sure everyone takes a good fucking look

at this monster. He's a really nice guy. He looks like he's in a Slipknot cover band, but yeah, he looks He looks like he fucks a Slipknot cover band, but yeah, he looks... He looks like he fucks children for fun, and he... Jesus Christ. He's not going to like me anymore.

Like I said when I began this rant, I hope he doesn't watch the show, because I'm sure he's a great father, You want to know where I got all these kids in the back of my van? Woody's gamer tag convinced him I was a nice guy. Oh, jeez.

He's got the perfect demographic. No one can hear them scream over the sound of the carousel music and all the horns. What a scary fucking guy. Get a new hobby scary fucking guy get a new hobby dude kind of scary i guess yeah the brass knuckles is a little much it's a little extra yeah he's a little scary get a new fucking hobby look look we all are have interesting hobbies right like like i know it's weird that sometimes you spend like fucking a bunch of hours playing a goddamn video game i get it like it's not it's not like you

it's not like i'm playing softball or something right i feel like that's a normal everyday hobby it's not it's not like i'm playing hockey with my buddies i get that's a weird kind of a fucking hobby right it's kind of maybe see as a waste of time but the day i dress up as a fucking scary clown and start riding around in a goddamn ambulance, you put a bullet in my fucking head because that is the weirdest shit. That is the weirdest shit. Come on. You know it's weird. Kyle, I want you to know you didn't even have to ask.

I would have killed you. And you silver bullets because that doesn't look natural. No. Burn the bones after I'm dead. The red nose cast the first stone. I'm going to ask around Boone though. I'm going to ask. Is he known?

I would say so, yeah. He's always in the parades and he does charity work as a clown. He's known. His hair's a fire hazard, of course he's known. Well, my goal is mainly to make the terminal children

yearn for death. He's like the opposite of Patch Adams. He's like Death Adams. He's the opposite of Patch Adams. He makes them yearn for death. I'm like Patch Adams. He says, I'm like, Pat Adams says, I'm going to scare the cancer out of you. And if that doesn't work,

I'll fuck the cancer out of you. It never works, by the way. And then he fucks you. And then he fucks you. That's what's coming. That's what's coming. You can't scare cancer away. That is just a horrifying costume.

Yeah, fuck it away, but he'll tell you that later. It's a very scary costume. It's one of the scariest things I've ever seen. And yesterday I was linked cartel videos of people being burned alive

and killed with chainsaws and such. And branded. Dude, if ISIS wants to make headway, they should dress as clowns. Actually, no, that would backfire because then all of America would come together and be like, let's eliminate.

Yeah, what's up with his eyes? Are his eyes closed in this picture or does he have black contacts, really black contacts? He's just so... I can't tell. You know, like fun-loving clowns that put in black contacts?

I totally don't just like scaring people with plausible deniability. That's not my thing. They're closed in that picture. Okay, fair enough. I hate him that picture okay fair enough i hate him i hate him i hate him it's so awful what he does murder this thing that's funny kyle all right i don't know why i say kyle i i i made that reference earlier so chis is kind of riding my coattails i said we should burn his bones after we kill

him, which is obviously a supernatural reference, because that man is unnatural. He needs to be put down for the community's good. If I knew where he was tonight, I'd dox him so that someone out there would do the Lord's work.

You're going to want a goat skin, a machete, some holy water, and at least five strong men. More than that. And don't skimp on the holy water. I was gonna say, plot twist, he's the guy that actually charged back wings, so...

He's already been doxxed. He's okay by me, then. Probably seven foot with that hair. Probably seven foot with that hair. seven foot with the hair yeah i'd buy that honestly the fact that he's taking this picture in the woods is even scarier because yeah imagine seeing that in the world imagine camping and just seeing i mean he might be a nice guy i'm not gonna judge him appearance only but if i saw him in the woods i would immediately leave He does really enjoy the woods. Why? Remember that big story? Oh, witnesses!

Remember that story a couple years ago about all those clowns creeping the fuck out of people because they would sneak out of woods and, like, stand in people's backyard? They would stare at apartment complexes from the tree line. Yeah, I remember that. God. Fucking creepy shit. I would greet someone like, if this guy was licking my doorknob or whatever the fuck, there would not be a

silly video of it. There would be a smattering of blood on my porch. There would be a recording of the 911 phone call from me, personally. I would sound like such a bitch. Please send somebody. Please. Send flashing lights. Give me something. Give me the fire department. I don't care.

I'm just so scared. He's just looking. Hello, 911. Woody's Gamertag's friend is here. Yes, yes. That one. Legally, he's just named Clownington. I was going to say the police book him as Woody's Gamertag's friend.

The clown. He's the kind of guy that they'd get him back to the station, and they'd put him on the fingerprint machine, and then it would say it wouldn't register. He'd lift it up, and he would have no fingernails, and then he'd make a macabre smile and grab the guy's neck, lift him, crush the windpipe. A shot is fired from opposite the precinct.

He dodges because he's supernatural then he teleports over there because clowns can do that his blood type is c because it's it's high c it's just high c yeah it's just you stab him it's just a fountain of capri sun yeah i hate him i hate him i you know what I don't care for clowns. Not even this guy specifically, but anyone who dresses as a clown, I don't care for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would much rather...

I would much prefer a friend who was a furry. Really? Yeah, absolutely. To a clown? Yeah, to a clown. Oh, that's actually a good call because they only do the furry thing when they're fucking. Like, he wouldn't come over in a furry suit.

You haven't seen enough TikTok. You haven't seen enough TikTok. They don't do it just when they're fucking. That's another reason why TikTok's so cringy. Because they dress up in their furry suits, and they do TikToks. God, what could smell worse than a furry suit That someone wears both while fucking And while not fucking Jockstrap

Jockstrap will air out Oh Jesus What is this what'd you link Uh Chiz said what could smell worse is Mercer Ah no that's not what Chiz said Chiz said Wings of Redemption's Mercer

And the underside of his tits Did he have Mercer Yeah he did have Mercer uh no that's not what chis said chis said wings of redemption's mercer and the undersized of underside of his tits did he have mercer yeah he did have oh man yeah it was interesting that when he was at my house you don't know about his mercer no i know about his mercer i was saying i was agreeing that it is a very serious yeah yeah they had to open the door of the operating room to get the stink out. Holy shit. Yeah, and then when he came over to my house, my girlfriend came downstairs to where we were working out. She lived kind of far away, so we'd been working out for a while.

He was all sweaty. We were both all sweaty. We'd been working out, and she came down. She's like, hey, your wings. And he's like, yeah, This is my Merciscar. He pulls his shirt up and it's him. He pulls his shirt all the way up. His Merciscar is up here on the eighth roll.

And I was just like, why was that your opener? I love that it was, though. Why did you leave with that? Your wings of redemption! Yes! And I can prove it was, though. Why did you leave with that? You're wings of redemption. Yes. And I can prove it by doing wings things. Here's my mercy scar.

Oh, god damn. What a, what a. I mean, who am I back? I showed her my testicular torsion scar. There was a while back where he was on stream and he's like, I'm just a regular guy. Just an average Joe. and i'm like you are the most abnormal human being i know i don't know anybody like you you're bizarre you you're a product of of a whole lot of weird factors that the average person would never no i don't i don't think it's incest, Chiz.

But it's something. Something's in that water down there in Conway, South Carolina. That's just the South, man. Is it environmental or genetic? I don't know. I think I'm relatively normal. My internet streamer online persona standards. But there's a lot of weird people in this. by internet streamer online persona standards. Sure.

But there's a lot of weird people in this. I'm not saying Wings is weird. I think he's unique. You ever been fingered by your grandmother? Who hasn't? Are we okay? No, I haven't, no. You ever... Are these things that happen?

These things are... Yeah, I guess Wings had constipation, so his grandmother These things are I'll let you follow that one. Yeah, I guess Wings had constipation so his grandmother fingered his butt to help him work it out. That's just Southern hospitality. Everybody calls you friend. Don't need an invitation.

Just brand your cheeks and come on in like how you're miming the finger shit i like how she twists it as she goes up no granny i think it'll work i feel like he's a three-finger man oh Oh, Jesus. I mean, by now, yeah. I love that picture of Gangster Grandma's E.T. because he's got that long, bony finger with the big knuckle in the middle. I imagine that finger being inserted instead because I feel

like that'd be super effective. Grandma! Home! Home! Yeah, I'm finding out a bunch of stuff I didn't necessarily know. I think it's interesting how famous he is. Oh yeah, Chiz, don't forget. He gave those little children enemas.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he gave his girlfriend's children enemas when they were like seven or something like that. Yeah. Because they were constipated? Yeah. Well, because he likes doing that no yeah because they were constipated yeah you know okay i hope it wasn't for i was on wings is so widely known kyle's right

he's mentioned this a couple times i was looking at people hating on dana white or something right they're fussing him for one thing or another on twitter and i look at the guy's username and it's liquid richard it might even be big ups liquid richard yeah i was like dude username and it's liquid Richard. My name is big ups liquid Richard. Yeah. I was like, dude, that's it's everywhere. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's even in Russ lobbies. We'll say, you know, shout out to my fellow finger sniffers and somebody go, whoop, whoop.

Shout out. Shout out. Sean Ranklin. They'll hit you back with a callback. You know, another, a little reference they'll be like what's up squeaky chair squeaky chair

has that ever got you out of a tough spot in rust where you're about to be gunned down you're like huh squeaky chair squeaky chair now i i have begged my way out of some out of some spots though for sure like that's definitely effective tactic. I am not above begging. And not above shaming people, too. I'd be like, oh, do you need my rock and my torch? Well, kill me. You must not be doing very well in this game. They'd be like, I don't

need your torch and rock, bro. You need anything? Yeah, I need anything you can give me, you piece of shit. I'm having a hard fucking time over here. I've begged a lot of loot out of people. I would totally kill you. Can you accept the scorekeeping?

Nothing lost. That's something to keep in mind. Like, you said, I think it was a PKN. You're like, you don't know if I'm naked and broken because I'm just exploring and prefer not to risk my stuff or if I'm just a naked and broken person. For all I know, I'm taking out the rust equivalent of Jeff Bezos, and you're going to come back tomorrow with your own army.

That's the case. Like I was playing a little while ago, I was out wearing burlap clothes without a weapon. I got 25 fucking satchels at my base and an AK-47. Are you sure you want this fight? Yeah, I'm probably the most powerful person in my region at this point with what we've got built up. But, you know, I run around with burlap and a longbow.

I'm not running around looking to lose my gear while I look for scrap. It's going to be fun in the morning when we raid this guy. As soon as we're done here tonight, I'm getting right back on. They've been grinding the whole time we've been doing PKA, by the way. Like, I look over in the other Discord every now and then to see if they're still going. There have been at least three guys grinding for the last like four hours five hours they're not grinding they're working for you no they're oh wait who's grinding uh your team is

the whole team my team my team they're all misunderstood i thought the person your your victim was grinding oh no no i can't see that but i but my friends my friends are grinding i'm sure they're making like explosive ammo or uh building up medication like like like or something like they're grinding toward this raid we're doing in the morning this guy are you gonna play all are you sleeping before the raid or are you staying up all night in preparation i got a nap this afternoon so i'm feeling good and i've been drinking so that that kind of keeps me up as well um i'm probably when we get off here i'm probably going to throw that steak in the sous vide and it'll be like an hour before it's ready to eat so i may just play all night um but if i get sleepy i'll just take a couple hour nap but we're definitely rating at five or six a.m what is a

sous vide uh sous vide is a machine that uh maintains the the temperature of a bot of a of a of a thing of water um at temperature for cooking purposes. So what you do is you take like a steak. If you've got a really thick filet mignon, if you were to cook it in a pan, by the time you got the center medium rare, you'd have burnt the outside. But what you can do is you can put it in a Ziploc bag, submerge that in water and add this sous vide machine. It's like a hundred dollar thing. It clips on the side of a pot or any vessel of water. And it circulates water in and out of itself. And it's got a digital100 thing. It clips on the side of a pot or any vessel of water and it circulates water in and out of itself and it's got a

digital setting on it so you can set the temperature exactly where you want it. For me it's 129 degrees Fahrenheit for a medium rare filet mignon. I put my steak in there for an hour at 129 degrees. I mean, 129, you can still dip your fingers in it and it's not going to scald you.

It's hot, but it's not boiling, obviously, because it's boiling 212. And it cooks the meat all the way through, perfectly medium rare, and then all you have to do is add the sear to the outside so it's not like this gray, gross-looking piece of meat. How long does it take? Like for a filet? An hour. An hour?

An hour, yeah. How thick is that filet? Like inch and a half, two inches? Like two and a half, three inches. Jeez, that's a big filet. hour, yeah. How thick is that filet? Like inch and a half, two inches? Oh, no, like two and a half, three inches. Jeez, that's a big filet. Yeah, yeah. I go to a butcher nearby, and I get him to cut them extra thick

if I'm doing filets. I bought two filets the other day. Oh, that sounds so good. Yeah, it's really good. And it's not even that bad for you. It's fucking... No, filet's not bad for you at all. There's not much fat in there,

and I'm going to eat a salad with it tonight. It's a little expensive. It's like $17 a pound. How many pounds of meat are you going to eat at a time? If you go to Costco and buy the whole tenderloins, you can get a fuck ton for like $85-$90 all at once.

I want to say ours was like $30 per plate when we were buying filets. just for a home cooked meal, that's kind of pricey. Definitely. Yeah. Especially because like, at least when I make steak, I like it with like asparagus and asparagus isn't as expensive as steak,

but like as far as vegetables go, asparagus is expensive for some reason, but it's like the best vegetable. Asparagus is great. It's so the best vegetable. Asparagus is great. Asparagus and mushrooms. It's a little brunette sauce. Little burgundy mushrooms and asparagus, filet. Did you see that thing

I linked where the dog shot that guy? I didn't watch it, no, but I saw the link. Was it a black dog? I'll check. it no but i saw i saw the link was it a black dog i'll check wait i'm looking for it now up in our chat can you relink it uh yeah is this a video no it's not it so basically this guy was a it was a good football player he played for lsu and he went hunting and his dog shot him in the leg and he lost the leg

jesus that's terrible yeah and he i guess at first he didn't think it was that serious and uh now it's been amputated But otherwise he's expected to make a full recovery So did he like Kill the dog Did it get infected Like he just ignored it I'm trying to read through here quickly

I'm sure you know more I'm scanning Well good they beat Georgia So fuck that guy I'm glad he lost his leg See how your D looks next year, you bitch! Die-hard Georgia fan, Kyle. He played a while back.

2009-11. I know, but in my fantasy, he played this year and he helped them beat us. I hope he's the kicker. I can still do it! He's hobbling up to the ball, trying to do a backflip, trying to kick a point after. He had the safety on.

He says the dog stepped on the safety and the trigger. Why was the gun just laying there on the ground? It's possible, but it's like the whole dying from Stingray thing. Yeah, it's like... Yeah, it's like Occam's Raz a stingray thing. Yeah, it's like really... Yeah, Docum's razor, right? You know, seems like maybe something else was going on. Like, usually, in my opinion, when someone says something like that, maybe their girlfriend shot them and they're trying to protect her.

Like, that would be my first thought. That, to me, is like the most likely thing that actually fucking happened. I thought of that instantly as well, yeah. Yeah, it is like this guy's girlfriend like maybe accidentally maybe not maybe there was like drugs or alcohol involved and and that and that contributed to the negligence of another person that this guy cares about that he doesn't want you know serving time or something like that who knows but but the if you tell me a dog took the safety off a rifle and then shot this guy like i i just don't know about that you know i i've i just don't know about

that if it did happen it's it's so insane that is the unluckiest thing i think i've ever heard like i don't know maybe if i knew what kind of gun it was like right like i think they said shotgun some kind of shotgun all right it's easy that? I think they said shotgun. Some kind of shotgun. Alright, so you see that's more likely, because the shotgun safety on like an 870 or something is like right there by the trigger. It's like trigger here, safety there. If it's a Mossberg, I don't believe you.

You know, I don't know. It just depends on what... It sounds like bullshit to me. It sounds like bullshit to me. It is a dog paw. Right? You didn't even say the dog sat on it. Why was it loaded pointed at him?

What was he doing? I said that. What was he doing? Fido, guard my gun. Sit on it. He would have to be sitting in the back of the truck next to the front seats, the cab or whatever. The dog would have to hop in, knock the safety off, and then hit the trigger at the same time or soon after. Yeah, I don't know.

Let me read it. The dog jumped onto the trunk bed, a truck bed, that Branch was sitting on and accidentally stepped on the shotgun safety and trigger. Oh, I understand. So the guy was sitting in the truck bed, the dog jumped in, took the trigger off the shotgun, and shot it at the guy. Maybe if there's... I don't know, possibly. Was it a ricochet shot or direct?

I imagine it's direct. Yeah, it's direct. So that's just so unlucky. Weird shit happens with guns. My dad had this rifle that had the trigger adjusted on it so that it was very hairy, very sensitive. And they had done it in sort of an amateurish way by filing down part of the trigger mechanism on the inside.

There are better ways to do it. And it was so sensitive that a temperature change which would make the metal swell and contract was enough apparently to make the gun go off so he'd been out in the cold hunting and he got back into his truck and he had the rifle laid across his lap sort of pointed toward his driver's door um and he's sitting in the truck warming up after being in some very cold hunting weather. As the thing heated up,

it fired. Some might argue too sensitive. It just went off. It shot through the door and the window was rolled down because he was smoking. The glass got struck. When you roll a window down, the glass is now inside of the door.

It strikes the glass and glass sprays out of the thing all over him. He's like, shit, now I don't have a window and there's a hole through the door and I can never trust this rifle again. Definitely too

sensitive. I remember that. But but you know to each his own well you guys want to call it a show that was a good show i enjoyed myself very much mr blame true thank you for coming on tonight thank you guys so much for having me on my fans have been asking for fucking years i was going back on pka and i was like yeah eventually maybe you know and then i was like i'm just gonna post on the reddit and see what happens and now we're here so remember i think you are on the most viewed episode of pka ever yep it has like 700 oh you heard that before yeah yeah people told me that yep youtube had like a glitch at the time where like they really promote.

873,000 views. They'd promote the video a lot if it got a lot of activity. Well, we live streamed. So people would just like just comments would flood in, you know, fuck Kyle, this and that. And so we make the video and it has like, I don't know, 47,000 comments on it. So it went super viral because of that. And oh, nice.

Got a lot of views. And how long ago was that? Like six years ago, six years ago. Something like that. Yeah. P.K. 87.

Yeah. Anyway, great show. We appreciate you coming on. Yeah. Where can everybody find your stuff? Just go on Twitch, twitch.com slash blame truth. Oh, where can everybody find your stuff? Just go on Twitch. Twitch.com slash BlameTruthOC.

Don't really do YouTube anymore. Find me live. Twitter. Just search for my name. I'll pop up. You'll find me. BlameTruth. Sounds good.

Everybody check him out. You got to come back on soon, man. I would love to be back on for sure. Yeah. If you guys ever have a spot open, just hit me up. This is great. Yeah, for sure, man. We enjoyed it.

Sounds good, dude.