Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #425

Episode Date: February 15, 2019

On this week's PKA, it's just the guys and they talk about Jeff Bezo's marital situation and how he's coming after those who threaten him with penis picture blackmailing, Miley Cyrus gets... touched and is touching, so that's a thing and lastly ample time is spent going over the Ford airbag recall which Wings does not know about that totally DOES affect his vehicle. Enjoy that show!

Painkiller Ready, episode 425. It's just us girls today. Is that what I say? And it's been a hot minute. Anyway, Kyle. A few sponsors tonight. eBay, Blue Chew once again. Staying with us hard and long.

Capterra and TheZebra.com. We'll talk about them later on in the show, of course. But yeah, let's get right into it. Very stoked to have the dick pills on board. So let's just get that out of the way. I need more. No more free spots. We'll get to that.

But I just wanted to say. You're not alone. As soon as I heard that Blue Chew was one of the sponsors, I was like, ah, it's always fun to do this. I'll be pilling. I'm not going to blow it, but I've got some solid things to say about it. All right. Some rock hard endorsements.

We picked an opening topic, right? Brazilian jiu-jitsu trained jogger chokes out cougar with his bare hands. Don't believe me. This sounds like a National Enquirer story. Oh. Was it Elvis? Okay. The only hitch is they described it

as a juvenile mountain lion. So I don't know how juvenile it is. I'm pretty sure that you go juvenile enough and little kids could beat this thing.

He's choking it out and its feet are dangling. Just viciously attacking an animal. Oh, I'll get from us women, baby. So did you immediately see this Woody as like, ah, vindicated? No, no. So when I first saw it, I didn't know he was a BJJ guy. I just assumed it was a jogger.

And I thought like, ah, And I thought like this is going to come up on the show and I don't think I can beat a mountain lion. They're all going to come at it from the angle that Woody can beat a mountain lion. I have claimed with confidence to be able to beat eight pound birds and I stick by that.

Mountain lions and stuff, that's just scary. That's actually why I bought my first gun. I think you got a better chance against a mountain lion than that big bird. That thing's got claws. The mountain lion is... Eight pounds! I mean, a bullet weighs tenths of a gram.

Yeah, I could choke a bullet out for sure. Do you know a mountain lion, an adult male, weighs between 120 and 220 pounds? Yes. Like, assume it's a teeny tiny one. Obviously, everyone knows that. 120 pound one is going to fuck you up. Yes.

Yeah. What do you think the heaviest carnivore you could beat is? This is a wild animal. Not like a... Wings of redemption. He's not a carnivore, though. Oh, he's an omnivore have you seen him dig into a windy chili i'm going for a wild predator like the heaviest wild predator i

think at i think it's 30 pounds on the clear winter i can beat a 30 pound predator i can take a killer whale on land guaranteed yeah he woulded. Yeah, he would not stand a chance. Neither of you are playing by these rules, and you know it. Oh, what are you trying to be funny for, Taylor? Let's get serious about this. Let's use kilos, because that's a scientific measurement. Well, it's not much of a conversation if it's just a whale on land. What's the biggest one you think

that you could take, then? I could definitely take a coyote. Completely unarmed, right? That's's the deal you're there naked oh shit naked and afraid like that really give me a thong give me like one of those leather like tarzan thongs to at least keep my balls from being you already had it in my mind kyle okay you've got the banana hammock that chris ponnius wears in wild boys oh not not a version of that the the same one. Yeah, I love that. Okay, okay. I could take an adult coyote. And I say that because I have had real-world experiences with adult coyotes,

and I have seen them fall and pray to a grown man with a club before. My dad beat one to death with a maglite flashlight one time, and it didn't stand a chance. I mean, yeah, I think I could definitely take a coyote. The big one only weighs 46 pounds. Yeah. They're, they're, they're, they're quite small and they're, they're often like underfed and like sickly to begin with because of, you know, their lifestyle and it's, it's hard out there for a coyote. I think I could take a coyote. Yeah. That's, I feel like I could go a little bigger than a coyote. Is there anything between coyote and wolf

other than dog? I could take a dog. The coy wolf. There's got to be some cats in there. How much is a puma lion? A puma's pretty big, right? A puma is essentially a mountain lion. Puma animal, not the brand of shoes, you silly Google.

Oh, a puma's the same thing. Yeah, it's like the South American mountain lion. A puma, a cougar, and a mountain lion. All the same. Yeah. I think it's racist to make the black ones seem different. I think it's a hyena. Oh, you do not want to fuck with a hyena. Oh, that's way too big. That would fuck me up. Way too big.

I've seen Somalians with pet hyenas on a chain before. That thing is more intimidating than any pit bull you'll ever see and they have that incredible jaw strength because what they do in the wild is they scavenge the the carcasses of animals that lions have left behind could because they possess jaw strength powerful enough to crush the bones of like wildebeest and stuff and get the marrow out that the lions cannot get to how badass is a honey badger is it we've all seen it right so here's that i've

learned a little bit about honey badgers recently i was curious is that they were on tier zoo amazing youtube channel and uh they think honey badgers are like totally badass the truth is they have low mobility so they have to stand their ground they can't run away from almost anything they've they've stacked all their points according to tier zoo into uh armor or something like that so they have a thick hide and they're hard to bite and they're hard to hurt but they can't run away which is why they stand their ground against badass animals but are they still get you pretty good because like based on that video i watched that was a parody video from like 10 years ago on youtube like honey badger don't give a fuck yeah i don't fucking care i don't remember what it is like if you try to grab them like around they have so much flexibility in their own skin it's like grabbing

somebody in a big woolly coat they could still just flip around and man like snap you like even more range you have to grab it real close to the head like a snake almost yeah and also like you couldn't poison it because i watched a youtube clip of like them just like going and antagonizing a cobra and three or four times and then they kill it and then before they get like the chance to eat the dead cobra they like curl over and then like the announcer's like but just four hours later he's back and ready to eat and he just like kind of twitches up and is ready to go. So I could definitely take those because I imagine they're like, what, 10 pounds? I don't know, man.

12 pounds. I think we're underestimating just how bad it would be if this thing bit your finger. You'd have to be in wild man mode yourself. We're very well fed, all of us here sitting here. None of us are hungry right now. We all ate dinner or lunch at least like we're not ravenous if we were to get into a fight with a fucking honey badger in our garage right fucking now and that thing got you one of your fingers and like took the tip off like took the whole fingernail and the tip off you don't want to play anymore meanwhile

meanwhile it's got a little bit of food it's amped up now it's got a little bit of food. It's amped up. Now it's got a taste for human flesh. It doesn't matter if you literally bite one of his feet off. He's going to be like, all right, score's one-one. Let's keep going. I definitely wouldn't go. My tactic would not be bite for bite. A honey badger.

What would your tactic be on a honey badger? Honestly, I think I would try and grab any limb or anywhere and then just start then just start spinning and just hope that the force of it is enough to keep him in one of those like you know get out here i can't do this much longer you know those those fair rides where you sit in a swing and you're oh going around yeah you need to get him going fast enough that he's like a fighter pilot in one of those Soviet things. And his face is blown back. And he doesn't have the ability to spin around in his coat and bite you.

And you have to hope you can make him pass out from G-forces before you get tired. Couldn't you stomp his head? If you grabbed him, could you not get a foot on his head? You're a 200-pound-ish man. I don't know, 195 or something. I could definitely crush a head, yeah. If he sat there and was like, please, sir, crush my head.

That'd be the way to do it, though. Spin it around, disorient it, make it dizzy, hurl it to the ground, and then real quick, just both legs jump up and stop. If you got a grab on it, you could slam it like Bam Bam. I don't know if people are too young to get that reference, but the Barney Rubbles kid,

where you just slam it on the ground a couple of times, that would hurt it, right? Is there any animal that can deal with Bam Bam attack? No. I prefer to think of it as the Hulk attack. Okay, yeah, yeah. And just Loki. Yeah. Just Hulk smash.

I think a Hulk smash maneuver. The trick is getting it, though. Wild animals are fucking wild animals. I mean, if you ever got both of its legs in one fist, it's just going to do a sit-up and start just mauling your arm. That's the approach to the argument that I never quite buy into. I get it. Humans are more easily discouraged than geese and honey badgers who, for some reason, just aren't intimidated. But if you're in a situation

where you're not just fighting for fun you know this isn't joy that you really need to kill this thing for some reason there's there's 10 million dollars on the other end of the line oh then all of a sudden like well you don't understand i lost the tip of my pinky it's like god i don't know like that's that's okay in a 10 million dollar fight You don't get discouraged that easily. That's true. Yeah. I wouldn't want to take a honey badger, but it's really the ferocity of it because like compared to animals, you wouldn't be,

we are no, no, we would beat it. But I'm saying like just a regular fight without the money. Like humans were like baby back bitches of the animal kingdom. Like we suck. Like our power lifters, uh, like the,

the Thor, whatever Thor Bjornsson or whatever, the guy who plays the mountain. Like, he's over there like, I'm going to deadlift a thousand pounds. Do you know that we've never taught a gorilla how to do deadlifts or bench press or overhead press, squats? So we see gorillas who don't even work out. If we could teach them to use barbell techniques, imagine the kind of gorilla we could create. The gorillas that we interact with The gorillas that we interact with

that we think of these killing machines are the Homer Simpsons of the animal kingdom. They're sitting around all day chewing on bamboo or whatever the fuck those things eat. We've never met a motivated, athletic chimpanzee or gorilla or anything like that they're just sitting around lazing and fucking yeah i mean the chimpanzee those are probably the scariest thing to fight because you know

they're coming dirty they're gonna rip your dick off they're gonna rip your eyes out they're gonna tear your nose off like if i have you ever seen a lion fight a hyena yeah it's not much of a fight they like they get scared or maybe i'm not so usually it's it's multiple hyenas against a lion and he fights the whole time sitting down because they nip at his balls and it's like it's really a disadvantage to have to sit the whole time you fight and that's how they do it those are the worst like animal clips that you see online where it's like hyena just wants a taste and it's like a water buffalo with like it's scrotum being stretched two feet back by some hyena and you're like ah yeah you just know the things like fight without

take my balls out of your mouth i'll feed you my kid but i like the 10 million dollars thing i've never said it before. For $10 million, you don't think you can beat a hawk or an eagle? For $1 million, for $50 grand, I'll fight 10 hawks. All at once. Just give me a paintball mask and a nine iron. And $50 grand, I'll take on 10 hawks. I want to watch that TV show so goddamn badly.

And welcome to the Apiary Deathmatch. How many owls can... Remember that thing in game shows they used to do where they put you in the booth, and then air flows up from the bottom, and there's money all around you, and you're trying to grab the money? It's that, except with eagles. Birds shoot out of the ground. And here's Taylor in the eagle

booth. Let's see how he... Oh, not well. He is not very well. Now if he's smart, Tom, he's going to try and crack one of them right off the front with a chip. It's coming out of the hole he missed. That is a 120 mile per hour bird he's dealing with. No, it's not.

They're much faster than me. We're going to be firing them out of cannons. Like what happens to me a lot, people will send me a picture of like a big bird's claw and say, look at how this thing, imagine that getting ahold of your arm. And I think, yeah,

that's terrible, but that's a non-deadly blow. It would be a real mistake if I could grab them with my other hand. And then, then it's just an eight pound bird. You can slam them like a turkey. The thing that would scare me more than the talons is if they latch on and you're dealing with talons, their hand and then then it's just an eight pound bird you can slam them like a turkey the thing that would scare me more than the talons is if they latch on and you're dealing with talons but

then they go and now you're blind yeah are they double eye grab that's what they do oh i mean i don't know but i'm gonna go with yes i don't think they do that i think they fight really small things pick them up and drop them. They're not eye grabbers. We're talking about the ones though that fly and grab goats on a cliffside and drop the goat off the side of a mountain. That's the bird that you were fighting with. Those are hilarious clips.

You are such an evil person. The chicks are going to die if she doesn't kill that. The goat is not the animal of the USA. She drops him off the side and you just hear that The chicks are going to die if she doesn't kill that. Those are bad chicks? The goat is not the animal of the USA. They're little Hitlers, right? No, it's just like, and she drops him off the side, and you just hear that, bad. All I hear is, the chicks won't grow up to kill goats either.

And I'm like, ah, little baby Hitlers. Fuck those birds. Yeah, the next thing you know. And anytime Satan is depicted, I notice he has a goat's head, okay? Fair counterpoint. Yeah. All right. He has one of the cool goat heads with like four horns on it. Where he's got like two forward and then like two on the side.

We're talking about hyenas. Did you know that female hyenas have pseudo dicks? Yeah. Like they have, so the male hyena has a penis, right? Because you need to procreate. The female hyenas are bigger than the males. It's like an oddly sexually dimorphic species for a mammal and they have quasi dicks like pseudo dicks that are even bigger than the

male's real dicks and the reason they have it i'm pretty sure is that they will they'll rape uppity males into submission to be like oh you're gonna misbehave how do you like a little dick you don't have a you don't have a pussy sir So your ass is getting blown out in the Serengeti here You're humiliated in front of your laughing friend by this dry dusty proto cock. Oh, yeah, there's no lube You think she spits on it first? No, it's just dry dick and she and everybody's laughing at him and it so they're pretty cool animals in that way Yeah, that's the only instance

of pegging in the animal kingdom it's my what he's like is this true are they fucking with it yeah it's true they got these good i've seen them i don't know penis yeah i don't know if the point of the pseudo penis is to to peg the males to keep no i might have made that up i don't know yeah you definitely did but um but they definitely exist what's the point of it otherwise just to have a pseudo deck i don't remember what the point was but i've definitely seen them but they definitely exist. What's the point of it otherwise? Just to have a pseudo dick? I don't remember what the point was, but I've definitely seen them. They are a thing for sure. I don't remember what it looks like.

Does it look like a real dick? It's a clitoris that's seven inches long and outside the body. I don't know if this website's going to say there's a reason for it, but every time there's one of those reasons, they feel a little reverse engineered to me anyway. Like, oh yeah, they have that to help. Whatever, you just made up a reason.

What do they do with it is what I want to know. I don't need any conjecture. I want to see this thing in action. Do they just have it and we don't really know? They're fused together to resemble a male scrotum. Just throwing it out there. It's so gross. I don't need that.

See, that's an animal that I wouldn't want to be. Oh, they give birth through their fake dicks. Oh, that's right. I heard that too. Is that true? Yeah. They give birth through the fake dicks, and often they're these failed births.

How big does it open? Sometimes not big enough. It says, the clitoris birth canal is only an inch in diameter and the tissue often tears as a two pound cub squeezes through the narrow opening. The rip can be fatal as evidenced by the high death rate of first time mothers. Because of the awkward female, the female's

awkward genitalia, successful mating for hyenas is tricky to pull off. It takes careful positioning for the male to crouch behind her and somehow get his penis to point up and backwards to enter her clitoris. I don't even know how that works. I have a picture of a female dick on screen right now and I mean it's big.

You'd hardly think this was a girl. I don't understand how animals without hands get their dick into her fake dick. How do they masturbate that's the question i don't think they do jack off that would you know elephants beat off no they didn't yeah they do yeah this is a real thing you can look up the way they do it is they get a heart on and they just move

in a way that it slaps their dick on their belly i thought for sure the trunk would be involved i you know what i still choose to believe it is. Well, the trunk maybe if it's like super hung. I don't know the distance of the trunk to the back of the dick area. I feel like the elephant torso is enormous. You have to lay on your back so the gravity holds your big elephant ass towards your mouth. Dude, that would be so fucking funny

if you saw an elephant sitting in the Serengeti and you're like, evidence of elephant's intelligence is seen by their autofillatio techniques. One Kenyan taught them this, and now they all do it all the time. And he's just sitting there sucking his own hair and then jacking himself off. That'd be a hoot. Birthmates have fallen dramatically since the herd learned to suck their own cocks.

The inclusion of elephant porn into their societies has caused many problems with sexual performance, leading to a need for blue chew in the Serengeti. like they can talk we got cars and shit you know and they don't differentiate between us i bet they think we're noisy i feel like we talk way more than any other animal i can think of so many cool animals went extinct though i was i was i was reading today about these armadillos that lived like 40 000 years ago or something and they were so fucking enormous that early man would use their shells as a shelter they were the size of a volkswagen bug jesus yeah yeah woolly mammoths went extinct there were a lot of cool big ones the animals saber-toothed tigers they're these gigantic uh uh like anteater things poorly designed saber-toothed tigers because it turns out that long tooth of theirs was really fragile. And they couldn't use it to hunt.

Now, hear me out. They used it for the kill shot. If they tried... You know how now animals run and you might run up to it. Not you, but if you were a lion, you'd run up to it and grab its neck as part of the tackle. Saber-toothed tigers,

those teeth were too fragile. And if you broke one, you were done as a tiger. You were going to die, gonna die like breaking an arm so they didn't even grow back they would they would tackle it in different ways and then once they had like you know position before submission that they would go in and just sort of finish it with the big teeth i didn't know that that was on youtube it's true i believe you yeah it's called a glyptodon kyle and it's a prehistoric armadillo this is literally the article you're at isn't it um i don't think that's the exact one i was on wikipedia today i was having a whole discussion with this lady about early man 5.3 million to 11 000 years ago yeah yeah but i mean like it's cool

to look back and be like, these animals were pretty neat, but can you imagine how much of a nuisance those would be if they were still meandering around? If they didn't go extinct before we did it, we would have done it, for sure. We did do it. We did do it. That's the theory that early man killed them into extinction to make little houses out of them.

I've heard we killed holy mammoths, too, and then I've heard that we didn't, that our impact was overstated. There were a lot of environmental changes that would have done them in too. It was just a contributing factor. What if they just gone north though, you know? They're already pretty north, right? It's always more north.

The true north. Well. Where they're going. The hell if I know. Oh, that reminds me. So Game of Thrones is coming back, and I feel like we're not properly hyped for it. What is it, four weeks away?

Yeah, I'm hyped. I've been re-watching the series, and I'm back into season six, and so I'll definitely be caught up by the time it starts. All right, you're both falsely accused of not being hyped enough for it. I, on the other hand,

have kind of just been laying low, then all of a sudden, like, costumes are getting leaked and screenshots and stuff, and it's like, oh. No, I don't look at any of that shit. Yeah stay away from all that me too there was something that out there there was kind of a leak and i didn't see it at all all i saw was a picture this is not a spoiler at all a picture of uh john snow and denarius standing together that showed their costume

yeah so uh uh and then if there's something about it like background i didn't notice it but yeah and then just like it started getting me hyped They're doing it properly they're leaking it They're making it happen Good stuff what are you looking at I'm going to try not to see any leaks I'm going to try not to see any leaks until it actually happens And I've also tamped my expectations down

That's smart You enjoy stuff more that way Like aren't there only like 8 episodes this season 6? I want to say there are six, but here's the thing. Those suck. There's several 60-minute episodes and then several 80-minute episodes. So it works out to like eight episodes, I think.

Something like that. They've got way too much shit to get through. It's like 440 minutes or something. I don't know. I looked at it the other day. I'm not positive. There's a lot to get through. This thing's coming to an end, and it's going to be over.

And like you, my expectations are where they need to be it's the show's gonna end we're gonna get an ending to this thing and then you have a whole new series to look for probably next year in the winter maybe you know maybe next spring or something like that but there'll be another uh tv show based in that universe that's coming out and that'll be good because it's so yeah So is it like confirmed? Because I heard what Kyle heard too. Every single episode is over an hour. So that alone is cool. Because a lot of them were like low 50s. That's a little more.

It doesn't mention how many crack like 80 or 90. But I also heard what Kyle heard. Which is that some of them are that long. It was like 60, 60, 60, 80, 80, 80. From the thing that I saw. It was like 60, 60, 60, 80, 80, 80 from the thing that I saw. It was like the last three or maybe the last four were all 80 minutes.

And that's legit. There are movies that are around 85, 90 minute mark. 80 minute episodes are pretty fucking legit. There's going to be some huge fucking battles. There's going to be dragon warfare. There's going to be... Jon Snow's finally going to figure out that he's from the South, not the North, because he's been fucking his aunt this whole time. And that's going to be... Jon Snow's finally going to figure out that he's from the south, not the north

because he's been fucking his aunt this whole time. That's going to be a funny time. Roll tide. This is pretty fucked, but I don't want to stop. I've done worse. I was raped by a horse lord when I was 11.

Now I don't seem so bad. Come over here and suck your stepbrother's cock. So is it confirmed that this big fat cunt isn't going to finish this book series? Like, has he just checked out? I just hope he finishes the next one before the next season's released, you know? Because I wouldn't want the seasons to get ahead of the books. Remember that cute little debate? Is it going to drop before the season does? fuck that goober he got too caught up i bet he got some

pussy for the first time in his fat miserable life and that just threw a huge wrench into the gears of of game of thrones i guarantee that's what happens he's he's lived 65 years of obscurity toiling away at this silly little fantasy world that he came up with and all of a sudden he's on conan o'brien and jimmy kimmel and and and and now he's got some 20 year old girl calling him daddy and and and he's like game of what stop you're making me like him yeah right it could be money too like dude the pussy theory is completely valid but it could just be like you know what like i'm doing this other movie thing. I just like that life more.

Why would I do the book one? There's less money. It's more work. Yeah, I mean, I just want the book because... I'm calling Game of Thrones the movie thing. Ah, I want to see if it matches up. Like, I want to see what the differences are between what the corners they had to cut in the show

versus what the original story was going to be. We'll see. He'll finish it eventually, or he'll die. It'll be one or the other. He can't not finish it unless he dies. And I don't care. I'll wait. I'll wait five more years if I have to.

Who fucking cares? I think it's more likely that he never finishes it. Game of Thrones, the prequel rolls out, and he's like, now my time is spent as a consultant on the prequels. He's 70 and morbidly obese, and he looks like he smells foul. He looks like he smells like a rotted ham. I love that he looks like he smells bad. He does.

He smells like a sweaty belly button. There are people who look like they smell bad. Like Kesha looks like she would kind of smell bad and be sticky. Yeah, she definitely looks sticky like like like humid summer night sticky yeah yeah not enough deodorant that you applied 14 hours ago and you've been outside all day yeah like a film of dust make sure you've got sweaty early in the day and you and you didn't know the day was going to go on for so long and now it's late into the evening and you wish you'd taken that lunchtime shower but you didn't and now you have to like go out to the

bar or something. Sticky. I'm always the one sticking up for Kesha. I Little Kesha-phile, eh? Well, it's this. It's that sometimes I think that females in Hollywood will play the slut because that's one way to get attention.

I don't think she actually wakes up and brushes her teeth with a bottle of Jack. I believe that's just a song lyric that she probably didn't even write. I don't think Maya Cyrus was really that freaky. I think she was just getting a ton of attention for wearing a dildo on stage. I watched her piss in a parking lot. I think she's just... Yeah, what was that about? She's all about female body acceptance

and pissing in parking lots. I think she's just a trashy, trashy girl. I mean, she's already got more money than God. I can't believe that she's... Her voice is so bad. Have you ever heard her speak? Are we talking about Miley Cyrus? Miley Cyrus. No, I haven't. her voice is so bad have you ever heard her like are we talking about miley cyrus miley cyrus no i haven't her voice sounds like this but she did that what's the dolly parton remake song jolene she did that super jolene jolene jolene she did it better

than dolly parton did i wish i could play yeah maybe so maybe so. It was very good. I liked it. I like Miley Cyrus. I like her music. I think she's incredibly talented. But she's kind of a nasty, trashy kind of human being. She does seem trashy. She seems like white trash. I have seen the clip you're talking about of her just squatting,

pissing in what appears to be a public parking lot. It's like you could buy whatever establishment this parking lot is hosting, and you choose to pee next to Little Caesars, and everybody has to come out with their $5 hot and ready. Never forget, her father's name is Billy Ray Cyrus. You know, she's not a... She's white trash.

Well, her dad was loaded before she was anybody, right? Like, he was a big time country singer. He's got that don't tell my heart, achy breaky heart money for sure. Oh, is that him? Yeah, yeah. Huh. Well, yeah, he's rolling in it. He's fine. I definitely would have a word to say about like, honey, we both are rolling in it. Please don't pee in any more parking lots. Please stop letting your fans touch your pussy on stage,

or at least have them turn their cell phone cameras off before you Do it yeah, and you know many of them are like 12 to 14, right? Like it's not a it's not particularly you imagine if like Justin Timberlake was out there like sticking his like cock bulge out thrusting it toward like a crowd of like Indeterminately aged women and they were all just like rubbing his cock that'd be the end of justin timberlake but i heard did she let people rub her oh yeah she does it frequently yeah like it was whole groups of like eighth graders flicking her bean in front i wouldn't say eighth graders that may be a step too far but they well you don't

know how old they are that's the thing it's just a sea of hands grabbing pussy. And she's not like, oh, my pussy. She's like, yeah, rub my pussy. Yeah, get in there. Get deep. And she's got like a crazy camel toe. She's wearing like, I don't know, like green reptile skinned like spandex or something. If I knew that was what the show was going to be, I would not let my daughter go. If I knew that's what the show was going to be, I'd have been front row, motherfucker.

It's just, it's a bunch of little girls. I'd have bought out the whole front row. I'm the only one that's like 6'1", towering over all these little girls, trying to lick Miley Cyrus's... You got a pile of ones. I'm doing my best to lick

Miley Cyrus's sweaty pussy on stage. I don't care who sees. I'm trying to find a video. He's trying to find a video. Yeah, I want to show people what you're talking about. I haven't found it yet. Is that in a music video? I don't even remember.

No, no. That's a live occurrence at a concert. Miley Pussy Rub. I wrote, Grabbing Miley Cyrus. It's on Pornhub. I mean, I'd probably not be able to show that.

Yeah, she's like, I don't know if you can show it, but she literally goes like, I'm sorry, let me mute this. It's coming through my, she's like, yeah, touch my pussy. Touch my pussy. She's like pointing at it like like wasting her crotch

It's I've got one here on YouTube. I think here's a video called Miley Cyrus lets her fans grab pussy and ass during show That's promising. Yeah, that is promising She's just a little bit out of reach promising she's just a little bit out of reach i'm watching this one to see if there's anything this is from dominican niggas videos hd i didn't even notice that are they actually yeah there's some actual touching going on here in the of course there is yeah this one um i would say that it it could just be bad photography and a lot of it happens right out of frame she's standing three inches too far away and nothing happens

but ah yeah yeah so that's when kyle there you go 30 seconds you can see some um and i've just i'm all about playing the science. I think she's really hot. So I've seen all of these clips and videos and any... I've seen all of her nude photography, and I've rifled through her Instagram, and, you know, any... You've rifled through it. Then I've rifled back through it, and then I've rifled once again.

I've saved, downloaded, cropped, zoomed, enhanced, and all of the above, and you get a good shot of that they're they're they're rubbing her they're rubbing her pussy you know and she's not she's into it she it wasn't she didn't recoil in fact she invited it before it happened the fans were to were actually like not getting grabby until she was like yeah step up your grab game i see and even then like the ones i did see it was a very respectful pussy pat. Not so much a grasp. Not this guy.

It was a hello ma'am. I would have used a very special technique. You go in with one finger, you sort of corkscrew. Now you're in the panty. And then, ha-caw! And you're in. You're in. You've penetrated in one fell movement. This is a man who's sat in the front row before.

Absolutely. And I just lick your finger sat in the front row before. Absolutely. Slick your finger in there. It's like one of those fake martial arts, like the Eagle Claw or whatever. You will never stand up against my mantis. Yeah. Because most of the actresses, they don't let you do it. So Kyle had to perfect his technique to get it done. Yes.

Yes. And it's funny because I know exactly the little tactic you're describing right now where you're like, you put your finger in there, you move it to the side a little bit, swoop, you're in. It's a move. And to make sure everybody knows you had it in there, you give it a little... Do not stand up against my camo grab technique.

My camo grab. Camo grab is a perfect name. Well, this was all born out of... You're not prepared for the moose knuckle assault. Mountain lion wrestling. Yeah, she's a dirty whore. I'm all about it. She's married now, though.

Yeah, she just got married. Is she? Can we watch this girl try to fight some dude? I love that. Oh, by the way, just a quick interjection. We watched a video a few weeks ago, maybe two weeks ago, of that white man just KO-ing

that black girl outside of a movie theater in defense of his wife and child. I'm told that the black girl was 11. 11 years old. Wow. So maybe he wasn't a 6'5 behemoth. Maybe she was 4'8".

He was actually 5'6". She was just a toddler. 11 is so young. Because if she was like 14 or even 15, you're like, yeah, she's just a kid. But at least a little savvy at 15 years old, right? That video is a little hard to find. I just linked it to you.

You have to scroll down. Oh yeah, I got it. I'm ready to rock and roll here. Cued at zero. Taylor, are you also ready? This girl's got a nice ass. She does. But not a great attitude. That's how I like them. 3, 2, 1, play.

So there's a dude sitting down, not really defending himself. She's up. It is grilled to the point that she's pretty much between his knees as he sits on a bench. There! Oh, she whacked him good! And he whacked her back perfectly. Oh, I want him to kick her now.

Nope. I don't know what she's saying, but it's probably don't hit a girl. Oh, these are white trash British people. Oh! The takedown! Yeah, yeah. Why did they shut the video? So, if you're on audio only, there's a guy sitting on a bench.

The bench is up against the wall, and he's kind of leaning back, knees spread. She's so close to him, she's standing pretty much between his knees. She, like, threatens to hit him once, and he's kind of leaning back knee spread. She's so close to him she's standing pretty much between his knees. She like threatens to hit him once and he like puts up a block take a beat and then she actually slaps him pretty properly. He stands up and slaps her back with what I thought was

this is an appropriate force. I don't know how to better describe it. It's more of a stand your ground slap. Yeah like he didn't. It's a problem a woman becomes so provocative. he could have you know gone hulk smash on her right like you know he had he wasn't that much bigger but he's probably much stronger he's a guy's pubescent whatever and um instead he just gave her a slap that was maybe just a touch more than she gave him you're allowed to win right and she holds her face she acts like she was crushed like she's out of it and then she

goes back for more and he gets a double leg takedown and as far as i can tell he won't follow up with ground and pound then it's time for a bit of ground and pound if you've told her once and then you've told her twice sometimes there's just not much else to do that's right is that that is literally his quote sean that's literally what Sean Connery said. And it's so funny because Barbara Walters is like, yeah, you said that, didn't you? I didn't like that. He's like, yes, I said it and I stand by it.

Do you do? Yeah, sometimes a woman says something and you let her have her way and you let her go and go and she just keeps coming. And it's almost like he's saying yeah sometimes you gotta slap a bitch and also barbara sometimes an interviewer keeps coming and and beating a point into the ground and also in that case barbara you've just got to slap a bitch

that would have been such great video she probably wanted it too oh if she's like, I can't believe you slapped me, and then she stands up and the chair's soaked. I just read in terms of like it would have made a, not like her career needed to be made, but it'd be the biggest thing going on. Ratings that go through the roof.

Yeah, I oh gosh, I just she hit him first. Yeah, she totally deserved that. He didn't do anything that she didn't initiate. i just she hit him first yeah she totally deserved that he didn't do anything that she didn't initiate like she slapped him hard he hit her with an appropriate yet firm slap just a whop it had a nice resonance to it and then she was devastated not so much by the pain but by that shattering of invincibility she was thinking the patriarchy will protect me. All these rules in place to keep men in line in their conduct with women? No. You feminists, you destroyed

that. Now we can slap a bitch whenever we want. Those do seem to be the new rules. You don't see many people... It used to be, there's no reason to hit a girl. Never a reason. Never, ever, ever, ever is there a reason to hit a girl. And people would be like, girls can't hurt me.

I just let them hit me as much as they like. And I laugh about it. People would say that. People would say that. I just laugh when girls hit me for as long as they care to. And it's like, that is horseshit. I've never been assaulted by a woman. But I think even if I was, knowing the reaction of society, I would try and just get away.

I don't want my life ruined over that. I would take a slap and just leave the establishment. I think society's updated their rule set. No! You're allowed to give them at least one Hulk smash. No, they have not updated that rule set.

Don't do it, kids. You saw our reaction to this? If PKA is not an appropriate reflection upon society, then I don't know what is. We're pro-blackface. Well, that's in the show Constitution. We can't show that. It's so funny. The Dems put out a poll where they were like, what was the percentage?

like like the the dems put out a poll where they were like um oh what was the percentage you know only 42 percent of america 42 percent of americans don't mind blackface it's just like wait are you trying to go pro blackface to to get out of this republican taking over virginia yeah is that where we are let me summarize this that's a really so so there's a democratic governor who uh yearbook picture surfaced. And the yearbook page is dedicated to him. And on one of the pictures, there's a guy in a Klan suit and a guy in blackface. One of them has to be him, right?

Every other picture is of him. And it's a page that has his name. Is it Jim Norman? Furman? What's his name? Northam, I think. Northam. Okay. So it's the page that has his name is it jim norman firman what's his name northam i think northam okay so uh you know it's the northam page and it shows like four pictures of him and one you can't tell if he's the blackface guy or the clan guy you don't know doesn't matter that's

such a bad setup if it was just someone else he's like no i'm the football player i'm the martian there's not a good option there to say which one you are. So that's his offense. And then the second guy I think his title is Lieutenant Governor. Yeah, he's black. He actually has a black face. He's been wearing black face since

the get-go. The whole time. He is being accused of sexual assault. And then the third guy, whose name and title I don't even know, has also been accused of sexual assault. And then the third guy, whose name and title I don't even know, has also been accused of sexual assault. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, help me. No, no, hang on.

Help me. This is the hilarious part, Woody. Because sexual assault, if it were blackface and then two sex assaults, it's not that funny. It's blackface governor, sex assault lieutenant governor, and then speaker of the house or whatever the fuck, also blackface governor sex assault lieutenant governor and then like speaker of the house or whatever the fuck also blackface that's great that's great i don't think there's a i don't think there's a picture of it yet of him wearing blackface but he like literally got out

ahead of the curve where he's like everybody i can see you're upset before you find it i also did that we thought it was hilarious at the time now Now I realize we probably, it was a bad move. Hindsight's 20-20. Can we move past it? Let me just lay out there. We can't. Because I'm about their age. I'm 45.

I don't know how old they are. Probably 50-something. No, like I didn't see blackface all the time. It wasn't like that was a common Halloween costume. It's not like, oh, that's what the 80s were like. No, no, they weren't. They weren't. Blackface then is much like now,

where nobody did it. The best possible excuse they could have come up with, instead of just, because he did it in the worst possible way, where he flip-flopped. Yeah, oh, that was me. Oh, wait, that wasn't me. Actually, that wasn't me,

but I did it another time. You know what? It's on me. I think that's where we stand. He should have went with some protracted thing. Well, actually, this is a commentary on the current social situation we were encountering in the 80s where there was a lot of discrimination still extant against the black american this is kind of a commentary on the juxtaposition between a blackface person and

a kkk member you know hoping that someday that even the most extreme among us will get along in harmony and then like i don't know like at least do something like that don't go that's not me that's me that's not me yeah that was pretty fucking funny uh is a republican i don't think that i feel like donald trump laid out how to deal with this you just fight you just fight you don't step down don't say no. You call everyone a liar but yourself. And then there'll be a new story. I don't know. His own party's calling. There'll be a new story.

No. Yeah, his own party. He's not going to resign. He has no friends, right? I get a lot of... It's Fox, CNN, and MSNBC. Those are my main ones. And he has no friends on any of them.

He has no friends in his party. They're all calling for him to resign. The Democrats try to take the high road when they can. I saw that he was endorsed by the white nationalists, though. They're big supporters. Normally, they go to the Republicans,

but they're pulling a skyrocket in Charlottesville. Al Franken, on a list of severity of offenses, he's below Louis C.K. There was also Bob Menendez accused of sleeping with underage prostitutes in the Dominican Republic, and everybody swept that under the rug.

Nothing wrong with that. New Jersey Senator. That never got to be a big story. What happens in the Dominican Republic stays in the Dominican Republic. Those are the Dominican Republic rules, Taylor. I'm a little embarrassed that you didn't know. Hey, what's the age to consent there anyway? What's the age to consent in that jungle island anyway? I'm guessing it got dropped you didn't know when you brought it. Hey, what's the age it could sit there anyway? What's the age it could sit in that jungle island anyway?

Yeah, I'm guessing it got dropped because there was literally no proof. You know, they just said it. Oh, it began as it did. But the fourth guy is a Republican. So I guess there's some hope that all three of these Democrats just vanish themselves and a Republican becomes the governor of Virginia. For the first time in, like, forever, apparently. Is that that right are they always i think virginia is a pretty red state you think i did too but but they made it sound like it would be a real oddity for the governorship

to go to a republican yeah if i had to predict it i don't think any of them are going to step down i think that's that's the way to go now right you just gotta bide your time until the next story hits yeah try to ride the news cycle, I guess. It won't be long. I'm looking at Virginia governors. You gotta find... You gotta hope that someone else was in blackface

or yellowface or redface. Oh no, Elizabeth Warren did that and everybody's okay with it. You know what we need is like an I am Spartacus moment where everyone for one day this year wears blackface. That way, it seems like it'll all pan out, right? I wish that it weren't. You wish that it wasn't so terrible?

I wish it wasn't so terrible. Blackface? Yeah. I wish we could come on the show. I wish that it weren't so high i wish it wasn't so terrible blackface funny yeah yeah i wish i wish we could come on the show i wish that it weren't so high like how funny would it be if we covered this subject in blackface like we just all showed up and we made no mention of it dude whatsoever blackface shouldn't here's my take on blackface and it's a little hard to to implement it can be done differently right there could be a blackface that is mocking and mean right and it just it's a little hard to implement, it can be done differently, right?

There could be a black face that is mocking and mean, right? And it's a bad thing when you do the big white lips and whatever. And then there is a black face where you're just dressing up as your favorite sports hero. Tropic Thunder. If I go as LeBron James for Halloween this year, it's not because I hate him and I'm mocking him. It's because he's my favorite basketball player.

He's not, but whatever. I spent 45 minutes in front of the mirror with three tins of shoe polish because of the amount that I respect this man and how much he... That's why I'm wearing these blades on my feet like a person in the Paralympics, you know, because I want to be able to jump like LeBron.

If he did do a Michael Jackson impersonation or dance contest or whatever and wore blackface to be... I don't know why he'd wear blackface for Michael Jackson. It was the 80s, Michael. He was doing early Jackson, yeah. Then like that shouldn't be offensive according to me. You know, you've heard me make this argument before. I don't dress up as Captain America to mock him.

I dress up with him to be him, right? And the same is true if it's Michael Jackson or LeBron James. But blackface can be done in a way that's mean-spirited, and that should be not okay. Could I be Captain America with a blackface? I think there was a black Captain America. I do not think so. If there was, though, you'd be like, no, I'm the black one.

There's Black Panther, of course. You could just go as black panther that would probably fit this little paradigm yep he's a black captain america his real name is isaiah bradley and i'm not really sure about he appeared in 2003 for the first time i knew it was a thing and they nixed him i guess got rid of him replaced him with whatever the fuck his name is. So, did you see that they asked the governor, I think. It was either the governor or... I think it was the governor. Where they're like, can you still moonwalk? And he's at his like...

Dude, it's the greatest thing. He's at like a PR conference. And he was right on the edge of about to moonwalk. Yeah. I think I was the one that first brought the... Oh, I think you mentioned that on Tuesday in PKM. Yeah, I'm looking for... He really considered it.

Dude, I haven't previewed this video, but it's 26 seconds long, and I'm pretty sure it's going to be just what we're looking for. This is the greatest part of this whole scandal. They ask him if he can still moonwalk. All right, I'm ready. All right, ready, set, play. The people that do that kind of research, perhaps they should have looked at that. You said the competition in San Antonio was a dance competition? Yes. Was it you danced the moonwalk? That's right. Are you still able to moonwalk? Yes. That's right. Are you still able to moonwalk? Inappropriate circumstances.

My wife says inappropriate circumstances. Dude, this video was a little jumpy on my screen. But you have to see. Dude was getting ready to fucking break down. He was sizing up the stages on let me take my shoes out dude i would love to see like a live approval rating of him and if he had done it like it just starts going that would be oh i fucking hilarious i think he should have moonwalked if i'm his pr manager'm like, how bad could it be?

Break it down. You know what, we don't see the moonwalk in private. Play that funky shit. If he had moonwalked, that would have been wall-to-wall on the coverage. It'd be all over YouTube. It'd be trending. It'd be number one.

CNN, Fox, everyone would be playing moonwalk footage. That would be hilarious. Trump would be out there like this is bullshit i thought i was the funniest one of us get this guy reside i'm tired of this grandstanding i'm the i'm the funny one like i feel like if you got upset by that all you have to say is no it seems like they're not going to impeach him they're like nothing yeah just wait for the next news cycle to pass. Like, he's going to be fine. They're not going to resign. We're most of the way through it.

This video doesn't go up until Saturday. It might be done by then. I don't know. They're digging. They're digging. They'll find some... Right now, it seems like harmless racism, if there is such a thing.

It seems like he just did something that we view as much more sensitively now than we did in the 80s. In poor taste, yeah. Yeah, yeah. In the the 80s it would have been seen in poor taste now it's it's a it's a hanging offense well maybe not a hanging it's we call it a lynching offense kyle ah lynching offense and uh but but you know they're digging right now maybe next week they find a picture of him at an actual clan rally or something like that. Or something actually horrible. He's not an actual clansman or anything.

He's wearing black. Well, I guess I don't. He was standing next to one. But if it was like, I'm the one in blackface and that was just a friend of mine who stopped by the party. Yeah. That actually wasn't a costume party. That was Friday night. Yeah.

That was my good buddy, still good friend, Dr. David Duke. Grand Cyclops Duke and I went to school together, you see. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of racism and then... Oh, in Virginia, on the politics side. I didn't know in Virginia, their governor has literally a one-term limit. So they get a new governor every single election cycle.

I assume this sinks the next Democrat, but not as badly as it would sink him. No, they'll put up a better one. Like then they'll really vet them and be like, did you ever even get to tan? Yeah, no.

Cause I, like I saw it and I was like, well, clearly they'll have a new governor and I don't know when it is 2024 maybe i just made that up but uh now it's like oh maybe not since the like he's not gonna lose that next election he can't run yeah speaking of uh racism in the news did you see our uh liam neeson's story oh yeah where he was i didn't read it because it was funnier the way i imagined it in my head when i heard it where like he apparently said uh that a black person in ireland like 40 years ago raped a family member of his and so he would go out with like

some kujal or something and like well like walk around the streets and like hope that someone that a black person would assault them so that he could like what was the quote though i want to say he that the quote was like some black bastard or something like that yeah yeah he was trolling but not on the online being silly saying the kind of trolling where you drag a net behind your boat looking for black bastards exactly he just and a kujal, I think that's literally the term they use. I'm not positive, though. It's like a kind of... It's a swamping instrument.

A kush, or C-U-S-H, I think is what it is. Okay. I actually didn't know it described it, though, as like a little beating. It's like Irish slang for a whooping stick, I think. Or maybe a blackjack. You ever see a blackjack? It's like leather with a little lead on the end. It's kind of springy in the middle. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is it a cloosh? Cloosh? Maybe. I don't know what they do. That sounds like slang for pussy. Ah, put it on our cloosh. I have a certain set of skills. It's funny. Walking around 1971 Ireland looking for the only black man

in Ireland in 1971. That would have been a funny explanation. But to be fair, check the census. Seriously, check the census. There was one black guy. I'm pretty sure I was looking for him. I wasn't going to do anything to anyone innocent, just him. He's the only one I want.

The only black man in Ireland. This summer, the much-anticip anticipated sequel to mel gibson's get the gringo liam neeson stars in get the nipper i don't think that would do well in boxing he's staking out kentucky fried chicken with like like peering over his sunglasses with a newspaper and stuff. He's like stereotypically Irish racist where that's where he thinks they all hang out. Yeah.

He's like, is that one? Is that? No, Indian. He's 66. He definitely came up in a very much more racist time. Yeah, for sure. For sure. But we don't excuse that in our society.

It doesn't matter if they're 100 years old. I think we do. You just have to be old enough to get cute again. Who's the surviving member of Golden Girls? Betty White. Oh, if she came out and had full blackface, they'd be like, people, it was 1908. She was probably trying to reflect heat from the sun. AC hadn't been invented yet.

Stay away from Betty White. Barbara Walters admitted to it, where she was like, you know, I've dressed up with makeup darker than my skin or whatever before. She said that on The View. I haven't seen anybody latch onto that yet, but apparently in those old fogies, it was kind of

like a fun, cool thing to do. Yeah, I guess. must be older than me because i yeah for sure she's like 75 70 oh probably over 70 she's old as fuck like she was old when i was a child she played in a show about being old oh that's better she's 89 years old what you're saying i was talking about barbara walters but i'm saying barbara walters is 89 years old. I was talking about Barbara Walters. Barbara Walters is 89 years old. Betty White is so old that she's gotten senile at this point. Did she?

Yeah. Not like hardcore senile, but she was at fuck, maybe it was the Golden Globes or some shit like three months ago, whenever the fuck, and she was accepting some sort of lifetime achievement award and she was not with it when she got on

stage to accept that thing she she had that old people voice where it's lost all of its timber and she was kind of raspy and she had material but she wasn't delivering it well like like she was it and the audience claps yes so many pity claps and it was just like you knew that everybody was like get her off before she shits herself or something horrible but something does something irredeemable i mean she could have collected her lifetime achievement award in 1983 then she would have been fine like it's 97 years old i part of me hopes i make it that long the other part of me knows i won't and the other part thinks i probably don't want to make it that long like yeah it seems like at 90 you want to cash in and just just like that seems like the oldest that you'd want to be because people older than that look miserable a lot of

the time better than most of them i was telling you i was hanging out with that 80 year old lady earlier today and she was with it she was witty and intelligent and bright and we were having like you know a smart conversation and and was, she was talking about all of these, uh, genetic abnormalities and Papua New Guinea. And we were talking about geography and genetics and, and, uh, like, like, um, her ancestry DNA report and how she had a bit of Neanderthal DNA and she was going through her entire lineage. And she was talking about World War II Japan, uh, cause she was talking about world war ii japan because she was fucking there i have a little neanderthal dna sounds like it does you good yeah because she was fucking there she remembers listening to the radio about what was happening yeah she was in she was chinese and so

like i think she was part of that whole rape of nan king nonsense where she was explaining like all of her male relatives were taken out and shot and they would throw the babies up and bayonet them and i was just like jesus he's like but i hold no ill will against them and i'm like fuck i do and i was i'm white and live here now yeah jesus those rape of nan king photos are pretty brutal like especially like what you said exactly like the i mean i didn't see them toss the baby up and like try and shank it in midair but i did see the clip of a baby like on it wasn't a clip it was a still but like a baby on a bayonet like a dead baby just on the bayonet it seems like a baby yeah yeah it's a weapon you know you get one baby gets heavier it's like a club yeah you just you swing it gets heavier. It's like a club. Yeah. You just swing

it and the baby flies off. Like high lie. Yeah, it's a baby net. Yeah, like high lie or that, you know, like Pakistani goat head kicking sport, whatever the fuck that was. Oh, yeah, that's a fun sport. Yeah, yeah. Or a Kazirga stand. One of the stands does it. Yeah.

Yeah, anyway. Anyway, she was 80. Asian people seem to age really well, both physically and mentally, I feel, in my experience. She was certainly a prime example. I've always thought that about black people. Age well. I don't know, man. They say black don't

crack, but sometimes it do. Sometimes it do. Morgan Freeman is very cracked i started my career when i was 50 years old i didn't get famous until i was already a man this leads into my story actually the black eye involved so uh let me set the scene it It's like 5.20. It's rush hour. And I'm going to make a left at an intersection. It's busy. I mentioned rush hour.

So I'm just sort of parked there, you know, waiting for a chance. And I'm sitting there still for like a whole minute. I only mentioned it to say like I had a great view of this, but I wasn't involved. And just as the light is sort of turning yellow, there's a woman who wants to make a left across the intersection, right? So she's in front. She's kind of doing the opposite thing that I am. And coming up from behind me is a guy on a motorcycle.

It's not really a motorcycle. It's like one of those nicer trike things. And she clipped him. And he was moving. He might have even been going like the speed limit which i'll call 50 but that was a little excessive for this environment like a busy intersection rush hour yeah uh you know turning whatever red i think he made the light and it was her fault but does that matter anyway she hits him and i had a perfect view for the whole thing like i couldn't have seen it any better and he's still on the bike

but almost like an unconscious horseback rider at this point the thing is wobbling from side to side he goes up on the curb and then like down into the front yard there's like a eight foot sort of drop uh you know decline in the grass and that's when i lost sight of him so i'm like oh my gosh you know like like this looks bad and i pull my truck over onto the grass and i go to help um because I had to cross the street and such. I was a little slow to get there. I didn't want to be another accident. And I get there.

There's two women freaking the fuck out. They're begging other people to start praying with them. And there are tears already dripping down their eyes. Like, who wants to pray with me? Were these people that just happened to see it? Yeah, a bunch of people pulled over to help out. Yes, the other hands. Lord Satan!

That's great. Rise up from your fiery depths and take this soul. I declined the offer. She actually was like making eye contact with me. She's like, does anyone want to pray with me? And it's like, I'll be here by the victim. You can deal with me. Let me know if you need CPR.

Yeah, right. Dude, that was literally. I'm certified in long distance prayer. But I'm still current. Like I took first aid and such. Whatever, you know, because of the whole para thing. I feel like I'm going to see some shit at some point. So anyway, I go and um he's getting

some pretty incompetent like random people helping you know there's a lady on the phone with 9-1-1 she doesn't know what responsive means you know and like is he responsive yeah he's responding north carolina yeah and i'm like capillary's not so strong he's not responsive that's not what responsive is so he's like knocked out his eye his eyes are rolled back into the back of his head and the whites are there oh shit he's an older black guy that's i'm looking at him he seems like a black guy that held up well and he's 40 to 70 his clothes implied he fought in vietnam right he had like some patches on him and shit like that and um he's his eyes are rolled in the back of his head and he's doing the fencing response people don't know what that is and when you're unconscious sometimes people stick

one arm out forward and maybe kind of move it around that's what he's doing and it's not stopping right like uh in like a ufc fight or something people do the fencing response for a couple seconds and then come to again. Yeah. 10 minutes. Quick question. Did he have a helmet? Yes, he had a helmet, but it wasn't a full-faced helmet.

So his chin was kind of exposed, but it didn't seem like he got hit on the chin. Did you see where he smacked his head? Like, was it on her car? Like, when she clipped him, he, like, whipped on it? Or, like, he banged into his own?

I can't be sure. Or maybe, like, when he got run off the road. there's even a chance he hit a telephone pole to the side of the road if he didn't he came very close to it but like it was fast enough that i wasn't able to really track his path and um god damn yeah so i get to the scene and I don't want to act like once I was there. But no, I'm telling the woman, get this corrected with 911. I called 911, but they hung up on me kind of because I wasn't the first to call. So when I got there, the one who was first to call was then I'm like, he is not responsive. His eyes are rolled back and this and that.

She's like, he's bleeding from his temple. That's clearly the front of his cheek. Temple temple's bleeding isn't a thing it's not like an ear and uh um so we get the right information to them and then i try to take his pulse and i'm trying to like hold him still and i'm telling him to stop moving and to relax a bit i can't get a pulse like it I know how to take a pulse. Anyone here who's been an athlete, you take your pulse a lot. It's a thing I can do.

And I can't get a pulse on the guy, but I'm guessing his heart's going. I should have put my hand on it, but I didn't. And he's breathing, but it's erratic. It's not like he's breathing well. He's breathing poorly. You want to check anally in those scenarios. Does anyone have a glove? There's's no time uh get his pants down yeah and when i yelled for him to relax or to stop moving

he temporarily would so i'm like is this getting through but his eyes are just rolled back i'm sure it's he's in like some kind of a dream and um that's about where the story ends uh at that point like the firemen and the police showed up and they asked for some space to do their thing i had shit to do and i gave it to him and it kind of fucked me up like i i think i saw a guy die i don't think he's making it no i died i i've been looking online like in this i don't see it on the local news sites. WRAL is our most local news, and I didn't see anything. I mean, they would report it if he died, right? So if you don't see anything, that's kind of good news, right?

Lord Lucifer, accept this dark soul. Bring me your soul to me. Charlie, you're ruining the prayer. Well, that's interesting. Yeah, you don't see that shit every day. I've never seen anything like that. I think I've told the story before, but my dad had this

older black man who would work for him when I was a very small child. He'd do odds and ends. He was an alcoholic. Old JD. JD had a serious drinking problem. it was kind of comical because like dad wouldn't let him drink when he worked so jd would sneak booze and like one day like they're standing there and he's like jd have you been drinking no i i ain't been drinking and right as he says that the bottle slide it's

like it was like tucked in his waistband and it slides down his pants like on the inside and breaks on the asphalt that we're standing on and he's like that's like what is that that ain't mine it just fell out of your pants was it like empty like an empty flask of i don't i don't remember i was like 10 or 12 at the time or something like that but like one day jd is at the top of the ladder changing light bulbs and he falls off the top of the ladder and goes into a seizure and my dad and i are standing how old is he like 55. oh not that old at this maybe 60. He's a rough 55, though. Like, lifetime alcoholic. Like, he has so few teeth that he eats a hot dog with a knife and fork.

Like, he has, let's say, 25% of his teeth. And it's not one of those deals where, like, he's missing, like, every. All the important ones. All the important ones. He has every third tooth, essentially. So he's just a jack-o'-lantern. And he has gingivitis, so he's got this bleeding gums type scenario.

And my dad and I are standing over him, freaking out. And I'm just like, I don't remember how old I was, maybe 12, 13. And I'm just like, do we need to give him mouth-to-mouth? Dad's like, no.

No, that won't help this. That won't help this. And I'm like, would do we need to give him mouth to mouth? Dad's like, no. No, that won't help this. That won't help this. And I'm like, would it matter if it did? Nope. Nope. I was like, should we put something in his mouth so he doesn't bite his tongue? He's like, if you want. I'm not going to ruin my wallet.

Don't put your dick in there. And like a little trickle of blood's like coming out of his cheek. And like he comes out of it. And that was the last time he was employed because like you couldn't have him around like when did he die like did he die from something alcohol related like falling off a roof you know like he was still that happened like i said when i was maybe 12 13 and i i can remember being like 17 and him still being around, you know, like, like you'd see him at town and stuff like that. So I don't know if he's dead.

I have no idea. He's definitely dead by now. Yeah, he's dead. Yeah, he's dead. He had a, he had a, he had a sad life. It was a real sad story. Do you have kids or anything? That's where I was heading.

He had this son. His son had one of those names, you know, like LeVardrick or something. And he was mixed up with a bad crowd. And he was in some sort of a gang-type scenario. And another person shot him in the head. But it didn't kill him. It just blew a chunk of his brain out.

And so he had this dent in his skull where a a chunk of skull had been had gone and a bit of brain with it and he was permanently like well you only use 10 of your brain so odds are he was fine they hit the 10 you need yeah they hit that 10 um because like he was permanently like disabled after that and like like in a in a bad way like like he was still there he's still walking around but nobody was home were his gross motor skills okay like could he i didn't have a lot of contact with the guy but from what i understood he wasn't bedridden but he was no longer but you don't think the same person do framing construction i don't think he could bag groceries. He was ruined. Yeah, he was ruined. I mean, he lost

a chunk of his brain. Like I said, if you use 10%, which I don't think is the case. It's a funny joke. Don't use 10% of your brain. If that were true and it were like right here, that's what they hit. If you only use 10 of your brain

people would have massive brain damage all the time and get away with it it could be a super common thing you only use 10 of your dick everyone is capable of getting a hundred interaction you just have to think you know and sacrifice yeah that 10 of your brain thing is so dumb speaking of 100 inch erections let me tell everyone about Blue Chew. Good transition. Not really. Let's talk about sex. Good sex, guys.

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i'm telling you, this is... Sometimes we have a sponsor and I'm just like, maybe I don't know anything about it. Let's just go with that. And so I don't say anything if I don't know anything, if I don't have personal experience. But this is something I can 100% vouch for because I have tried the...

I've been prescribed by a doctor Cialis before. And that's the one you want, by the way. There's sildenafil and then there there's, like, tadalafil. What is it? It's tadalafil, yeah. Yeah, tadalafil. Get the tadalafil. And this is, I'm not using these anymore

because I've got the blue chews. My tadalafil prescription was $300 a bottle for six pills, okay? This is much, much cheaper. And, like I said, you don't have to go to a doctor so there's no doctor fees. It's incredibly effective. It's great. Your dick gets really, really hard. Really, really hard.

And it stays really, really hard. So if there's some downtime, and so many guys I've tried to pitch this toward are like, I don't need that. My dick works great. I was a fool before I saw the light. The light of the seven. And first of all, it's great in comparison to what?

Unless you're gay, how do you know what other dicks are like? You've only got your own dick to compare dick hardness with. You're like, oh yeah, my dick is incredibly hard. Really? Because a girl told you that? I bet she told you it was big too, didn't no unless you're gay you have no idea what penis hardness levels even are you could be a two out of ten and you'd never know it you'd never know it you've only used your own cock right trust me you're a two out of ten you little bitch get some blue chew and you can be a legit ten out of ten your Your cock will be so...

If it doesn't hurt a little, then you haven't even approached a nine yet. Okay? Get a full ten with blue chew. This will get you to a ten so fast. There will be no time between you starting your fucking your foreplay

and shit between that and hard as a rock. There's no transitionary period. You're just fucking hard. How far in advance of sex are you supposed to take it? 30 to 45 minutes it says because it's chewable so it gets into your bloodstream faster. And the thing with

Tadalafil is it stays in your blood system for up to 48 hours I think, maybe even a little longer. And so you can pop one and then two days later, you're good. Like, you know, you don't have to use it all the time. I like it so much, by the way.

Like we got our free shipment. I went back and I upped my subscription. I now get five a month. You're getting 18 a month? I maxed it out, baby. Look, I don't want the sponsor to be angered with me for saying this. And look, follow their recommended instructions.

Don't listen to me on dosages, okay? You know me. I do silly things. I get obsessive with things. Like, chew four of them bitches up, all right? I'll just chew four of them bitches up at once. We're going hard in the motherfucking paint, literally, okay? Not literally.

There's no paint involved. Oh, there's paint involved. We're going hard in the motherfucking paint. Literally. Not literally. There's no paint involved. Oh, there's paint involved. We're going hard in the paint. No, no, no. Literally. We get coated. You're going hard in the taint. Hard in the taint. Absolutely. Look.

Chew one of them up. Try that. If you feel like, holy shit, that's the most incredible thing ever, tell you what i told taylor a little private conversation take two motherfucker and i'll give that a go but let me just say taking one fantastic like you don't need any more than that you don't need like me like it it worked great and you don't need to be like oh i'm just gonna start using dick pills every time before I have sex. No. What I've been doing is like if we're just going to fuck once, I don't take one because, you know, we're young guys who don't have problems getting erections.

But if I'm like or if we decide like, you know, let's have like a marathon fucking day. We're like we're going to fuck, you know, multiple, multiple times throughout the day. You could finish three times before lunch and you're fine the rest of the day. You could do three times before lunch and you're fine the rest of the day. You could do it three times after lunch, before dinner. By this time, your balls are empty of cum and no sexual desire is probably there, but your dick's hard as fuck. You better believe it. Gotta do something about it.

Yeah, so... You're gonna need a second girlfriend. You really? You might. Maybe a third. You might. It won't be a problem because you're gonna be beating them off with both hands. When you're not wrapping both hands around,

you're a freshly engorged cock. That's what I use it for, by the way. Yeah, it's going to be like a Pringles can. Including the flat top. Yeah. Grab the top, peel it off. Get that weird metal foil that's on all of our cocks, I'm sure. Think of how much you'd cum if the opening was three inches in diameter that's what this does you stay so hard after you come there is no 100

down to 90 down to 80 down to you know you get down to 50 and they're like i want to go again you get back up none of that none of that and there's no thought of oh i want to keep my dick hard so i'll focus on that a little bit so we can go for round two no your dicks just hard so everybody out there get yourself a hard dick and like I didn't see any posts I told you before take a before picture of your dick and an after picture and post it on the subreddit or send the Polaroids to Woody you know his address do it he welcomes them but only if you're of legal age of course of course only if you're of legal age dear god dear god so yeah god get your dicks hard with bluechew.com you're gonna love it and kyle are

you really up to 18 a month yeah i whatever the maximum was that's like 50 bucks a month i did that dude you're the ultimate ambassador for this company i i'm a huge fan. I'm a huge fan. I've been posting my before and after pictures everywhere. I thought that was you. Our group chat doesn't count. No, like all my friends, I've told everyone I know. I told my dad. I told everyone I know. I was like, look, this is the way to go.

Get these things. You don't have to deal with a doctor. They just send them to you. And it's legal. At first I was like, this seems shady. But no, it's like, oh, so there's a doctor prescribing this stuff.

This is incredible. This is the best thing that's ever happened. Why can't my allergy medicine come like this? I'm still trying to get my friends on board. I introduced it just in a group text of like, hey, we're sponsored by a dick pill company, bluechew.com slash pka. Get your dick pills. And of course they did the normal

stupid response, the kind of person I used to be, where I said, my dick gets hard. I don't need dick pills. I'm gonna have to show them firsthand what they're missing out on to get them on board. Grab this erection. You feel that? Yeah, you feel that? Can you feel my heart pulsating through my dick? Yeah, you feel that? Can you feel my heart pulsating through my dick?

Yeah you can, and that's because of BlueChew.com. So get yourself a hard dick and go fuck someone with it. Yeah, absolutely, make it happen. Let me do one more ad. You ever think vaping is too expensive? Ever wish you didn't have to buy batteries, coils, a tank, and a bottle just to get started vaping? Ever have your vape's battery die on you at 2 p.m. and you don't have access to that charger? eBay, the new vape system from the creators of Zamplebox, changes all of that.

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dot com. Now, I was buying an eBay for one of my friends the other day, and the code didn't work. I looked into it. I immediately texted you guys and Chiz, and it turns out that was an issue on their end, I think. It is working now. The code is all fine and good.

So, you know, don't be discouraged if maybe you tried before and it didn't work, and you were like, ah, nuts. And what's the code again all fine and good uh so you know don't be discouraged if if maybe you tried before and it didn't work and you're like and what's the code again one more time um i thought you had it right there yeah i did uh just use pka of course is the code what am i thinking i was doing like a little like a radio like and reminding me how does it get one more time kyle one of those ads where they're trying to make it seem organic when it's like god you guys pre-recorded this you probably did eight takes stop pretending like this is off the cup like news article my abay is on the way and so i will be getting those my very very soon and so i'm pretty stoked on that yeah yeah code's

working fine um so so rest i'm ready to throw this old school trash in the garbage and go into the modern day. Move into the... That's the thing with some of these first companies that get into industries. They're not always the best. And then someone like eBay comes in, crushes them, makes them their bitch,

and then now all the smart consumers like us move to eBay. I'm going to take a risk in asking this because you might not have any... What makes eBay better? bitch and then now you know all the smart consumers like us move to to abay i'm gonna take a risk in asking this because you might not have any what makes abay better uh for for one thing the uh the the pods are much bigger so with like a jewel like we've talked about how quickly we go through these pods and the jewels but the abay lasts twice as long because it's just twice the capacity um chis has been using the abay for a long time now yeah it's cheaper like it's more cost effective uh i think their flavors are i haven't tried them yet but from everything i've heard their flavors are supposed to be much much better they use

ceramic heating element that's a higher quality it's it's it's just a it's a better form uh in my opinion like the look of it the feel of it version two nice yeah i know someone who has one and i and i was like let me check this out and i don't know what the flavors come in i i i ordered i don't recall off the top i don't remember but i got a couple of fruity flavors which is my preference and there's been some like i don't know if it if it was all vapes or all vape juice but i know that jewel specifically in my state stopped selling the the preferred vape flavors now all i can find is uh mint menthol and tobacco and i don't know who's out there choosing the flavor tobacco but just just get what's wrong with you it's disgusting

these are the people who like the taste of beer. Oh yeah. It's delicious and bitter. Oh, I just tobacco. Oh, you chose that. Well, it like,

uh, it like they, they got rid of all the flavors. Well, that's what we're discussing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So I got, uh, tobacco and menthol and you know, it's just not, not up to snuff. I'm ready to upgrade. It's gross. Upgrade to old eBay. And you know, another thing not not up to snuff i'm ready to upgrade upgrade to old abay and you know another thing that i'm on their site right now this is the level of cost difference

you're getting a jewel per milliliter five dollars and 71 cents an abay per milliliter two dollars and 81 cents that's a huge value it's much cheaper that's if you're ordering online like like what i was gonna say is like like, Georgia just put a huge tax on the Juul pods, specifically the flavored ones. And I only know of one gas station that even sells them anymore. And I want to say it was like $20

or maybe $22 for, like, a four-pack. It's like $5 a piece or something like that now. It's ridiculous. So, yeah, definitely. AB is definitely the future in that market. And I'm looking forward to getting mine. I ordered it last week, maybe 10 days ago or something like that. So it's probably already arrived and I'm just unaware of it. Yeah, definitely check those out. You can have a nice, cool, modern day

vape and a hard-ass dick. Did you ever find that news article we were discussing earlier, Taylor, where that man was killed by a, not an eBay vaporizer, of course, but some inferior product that he bought from some sketchy vape shop. Yeah, here it is. Killed!

You hear that, folks? eBay's never killed a man. You know those people who use the enormous vaporizers that are like that big and they don't fit in pockets. I love the picture of the guy. He deserved it. Look at his greasy hair.

Fuck. Hang on. Let me get a drink. Let me see. I linked it. Let me read it. A Texas man died of a massive stroke after the e-cigarette he was using exploded and tore his carotded artery. Carotid artery.

Yeah, that's a... This is another reason you want to go to eBay, folks. That doesn't happen with these kind of e-cigarettes. The kind this guy was using was like probably the size of his quad. Like, and yeah, you don't need that. No reason. Golly. That sucks.

It blew up in his face got i mean it hit his neck it went across his lip cut his lip and then it stuck into his throat and stayed there yikes she doesn't he had a future ahead of him a life ahead of him well we all have a life ahead of us. Well, some do. My goodness. That is gruesome. Tell me. Tell me what happened to him. I'm sorry. It exploded in his face?

It exploded in his face and sent shrapnel everywhere. So this was clearly one of those giant iron-looking ones. Yeah. And so it just basically became a bomb. God damn. Yeah, those... I'm probably saying the wrong kind because battery technology keeps like jumping and changing the lipro batteries though i think they are the ones where like

they can if you even dent them a little then the cells like uh fuse together and they create sort of a chain reaction where they get hotter and hotter and hotter and it ends up shooting fire fire everywhere and melting down uh a lot of those things use those types of batteries i've seen them explode in people's pockets and it looks like thermite like it it's it's it's literally metal melting rapidly and in your pocket it's bad news yeah you want to get it out of your pocket if that happens if you can you know all of a sudden there's a thing in your pocket that's a thousand degrees. That's a valid option. You can leave it in your pocket and take your pants off.

I wouldn't even undo my... I'd just pull my pants and underwear and run away. That seems excessive. I don't want my thigh exploded. Just because I was going to be shy in the Target parking lot. You know, there's no reason for that.

Is that a Pedialyte? Oh, Motts. Well, 100%. I haven't had that since I was two. Yeah, Apple Juice is not one of my go-to juices. Ever since I found out that OJ wasn't actually good for you, I've been off the juice train. I haven't looked back.

Cranberry is okay from time to time. Mixing a chaser. Dude, I haven't looked back. Cranberry's okay from time to time. Mixing a chaser. Dude, I don't know. This story has captured my attention. Remember we talked about this governor thing will be the number one story until something knocks it off. This could be it. The National Enquirer's

parent company tried to blackmail Jeff Bezos. They have dick pics of him. They have semi-nude pics of his girlfriend and some other compromising pictures. What are they blackmailing him for? They're going to release those pics. Oh,

what do they want from him? Yeah. Like just a bunch of money. It's not Amazon prime for life. So all the news outlets seem to be tying it to Trump, but I suspect that will be a tough one. If people don't know, Trump is good friends with the owner of the National Enquirer,

and he does these catch and release stories. They already proved one with Playboy Playmate he fucked. And Jeff Bezos owns the Washington Post, which is one of the more critical, reputable papers that goes after Trump all the time. So Trump has been attacking Jeff Bezos owns the Washington Post, which is one of the more critical, reputable papers that goes after Trump all the time. So Trump has been attacking Jeff Bezos from every little angle, like trying to get the post office to charge Amazon. He's ugly and he's short. One was the post office.

Look at his hands. I can't recall. And this appears to be the third way that Trump is kind of attacking this Bezos guy because he feels like Bezos is attacking him constantly with his newspaper and uh it's a blackmail extortion type thing and Bezos rather than uh just sort of you know pay it or whatever he's going public with it uh he put this thing uh so CNN's running it Fox is running. The New York Times is running it. CBS is running it. Everybody's running this story that...

If somebody has your dick pic and they're going to release it, what you do is you preempt them. You get yourself a bluechew.com slash pka. You get the hardest dick you've ever had. Then you snap a photo with yourself smiling, also flexing, looking fit. And then you release that. And now people are going to talk about that dick pic not the one that you didn't want leaked because you were probably oh this girlfriend's pretty hot are you seeing a picture i'm seeing not a not a nude or anything oh you're not like not like the good one just just what she looks

like you know i see man well uh i wonder what's gonna happen i want i doubt they release his dick pics like now that they've been called on it, if they do leak, everybody's going to be like, I wonder who leaked the dick pics. He looks like a penis. Oh, if you know that your dick pics are out there, that would be, like, the easiest way to target someone you didn't like. It'd be like, Arby's has my dick pics. You know?

And so if you see them out there there and it's really like an angry you know, ex-lover or something that's posting them and then Arby's gets hit. I think I get free sandwiches. I wouldn't want free Arby's sandwiches. Free Arby's sucks. Or any, paying for Arby's is awful. I wouldn't want free Arby's. Arby's sucks dick. Yeah, so

it is literally dick pics. It's um, I guess it's not the national inquire it's the owner of the national inquire i don't know how that's very different and he's like personally doing it i guess yeah like the parent company of the national inquire is doing it yeah yeah i don't know we'll see where this story goes it's it's new. It's like one hour old as we're doing this recording. That's going to suck if right after we... You tell me he didn't even pee on anyone? Who cares? Trump's over there supposedly peeing on people.

I'd like to see them pee pee tapes. No, he wasn't doing the peeing. He was just watching the chicks pee on each other, right? I couldn't tell if the story was that he was paying prostitutes to be like yeah pee all over that bed that obama slept in or if he was over there going i'm gonna pee all over this bed to pay you to watch me piss on this bed can anyone else not relate to that at all like obama walked here once piss in that spot that'll well it's totally made up like it's totally made up it just doesn't sound realistic it doesn't sound like reasonable to me like yeah i if obama walked across my front driveway and i hated him with every mean like

you know fiber of my being i wouldn't like get at my driveway to somehow show obama up here's the other thing where's he gonna sleep that night you know why he's like oh that was hot shit yeah i didn't take this through is that is that a futon does that fold out no room service ah yeah i did it again like it usa today uh associated press like i said, Fox, CBS, New York Times. The Bezos thing, they're all on it. Yeah. MSNBC.

I said CBS already. Well, he's the number one trending guy on Twitter right now. Wired is running with it. Oh, let me hold on. Oh, wait. You were reading the Medium post from Jeff Bezos or no? So the Medium post is like the source of it all. That's his making it public.

I guess he owns Medium. I was just asking because this is only nine minutes old. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So he put it on Medium and said, hey, these guys are blackmailing and extorting me. And now everyone else is running with that story. Does that make sense?

Yeah, it does. does well that's interesting i i i i'm sure that story is gonna come to a head and and probably quickly i look come to a head i look forward to seeing like like like his dick and what he ends up doing to us he's the richest man on the fucking planet he's not the guy you want to blackmail i mean that may seem counterintuitive yeah pick somebody worth five million to blackmail they got something to lose may seem counterintuitive. Yeah. Pick somebody worth $5 million to blackmail. They got something to lose. You don't pick the guy worth $80 billion or whatever this dude is worth at this point.

In his thing, he has an interesting way of... He thought about paying and he's like, if I can't stand up to this, then who can? He's the guy who has... Fuck you money. Yeah, you'd have to be a real bitch to not stand up to a blackmailer if you're literally the richest man on earth.

So I have two things that I want to talk about tonight. I'll let you guys decide whether we're going to take the road less traveled or make a right into Wingstown. I don't like to divulge my sources, but again, these things come to me. And I have some information. Your little birds. My little birds. They sing in the east, and they sing in the west.

They sing in the north and the south. And one of them tweeted in my ear earlier today and told me a little secret about Wings' Mustang that he should honestly know about because he's in danger. Or we could talk about what seems to be the most popular game on the planet suddenly. Like in the last 72 hours, a brand new game came out. I'm still fascinated with Rust. Don't get me wrong. I literally dream in Rust. All of my dreams are in Rust.

And this is like week four of you dreaming in Rust. Yeah. I'm in love with Rust. He's the sulfur king. I'm the sulfur. Oh, man. There's a picture of me as Tony Montana, but instead of cocaine, it's sulfur. It's hilarious.

Anyway, so we could talk about either of those things this game is fascinating I'm going to talk about both of them but which do you want first the wings car information or I feel like our audience is hoping we choose wings talk Taylor

I don't even know what this game is and so I don't care about it cool so it turns out let me get Taylor? I don't even know what this game is, and so I don't care about it. Cool. So it turns out, let me get the actual thing here, like the, so my friend who has a-

Now how credible is this source? 100%. I literally have, let me make sure that I can share this without divulging any copy link, and yeah, send this to you guys now. Essentially, this is a recall

form for Mustangs of a certain year. It's 2005, 6, 7, something like that. In that little category. Essentially, they're saying don't show that in case there's something. I was going to ask if I could show it. I'm looking to see if there's any personal

information. Like a VIN number or something. Yeah, I don't want that. Yeah, don't post this as a VIN number. Where do you see a VIN? Oh, at the top. At the very top. Yeah, that's Wing's VIN number, by the way. Alright. Well, I'm trying to... Essentially, it says...

I'll read it. It's a recall. Literally on Wing's vehicle, there's a risk to on Wing's vehicle. There's a risk to safety. The passenger frontal airbag inflator could rupture if the vehicle is involved in a crash where the supplemental frontal airbags are designed to deploy. Basically, if the passenger airbag comes out, then

metal fragments can enter the passenger compartment, increasing the risk of injury and death to the occupants. And there's a remedy program which apparently has expired. It even has the status of his vehicle here. The recall is incomplete.

And I think if he'd taken care of this last year, it would have been free, but I believe that the recall is no longer going to be for free, so he'll have to pay for it himself out of pocket, unfortunately. Well, he didn't own the car last year, right? That right i'm just saying like like he's right on the cusp of not having that close well that fucking sucks yeah maybe it's the yeah keeps getting worse and worse

four days ago what does he have to do i read what yeah it's the airbag. It's the airbag system, which is not a cheap fix. Like, I've fixed a lot of cars that had been in crashes before, and that's the one thing that, like, you look, if you see a car where the airbags are deployed, you're like, oh, not that one. Not that one. Because they rip the whole dash apart. Really? Yeah.

When an airbag comes out, obviously, you know, everything is ripped apart. It's dangerous. Maybe, Kyle, it's like diffusing a bomb well if they've already gone off you know then if they've already good in that regard working with airbags though you need to know oh yeah it's kind of like diffusing a bomb don't fuck it yeah doing your own airbag installation is also something that that we always try to steer away from because you're right you're kind of you kind of got a bomb in your hands to some regards it's's a big, loaded trigger device. But yeah, he's got an expensive fix ahead of him.

If he wants to get it fixed, he'll probably just not worry about it, although he is a bit of a vehicle hypochondriac, so who knows? It is the passenger airbag, although it said it's going to shoot metal fragments into the cabin, which I imagine is like a frag grenade

just sending shrapnel everywhere. I would want to get that fixed. Yeah, like a fucking... Yeah, it wouldn't be like an Indiana Jones trap where all of them go... Sticking them. Oh, thank God.

Good thing I don't have any friends. I wonder how Wings fits in the Mustang. I don't mean to say it mean, but like... Fine. Fine. Oh, that's good. Even at his biggest, he apparently... I wasn't there for it.

He hopped in my Camaro one day, he told me, and closed the door and he was in there. I'm sure it was a bit uncomfortable because it's really narrow seats. But I've seen him get into his Mustang and hold the camera, and his belly's nowhere near the steering wheel. He's lost a good amount of weight.

I would guess he's 350 would be my guess of his weight right now, 350, 360. So he's doing quite well. That's a neat little reward for him then. To me. Yeah, I think he deserved the car. I'm glad he got the car. I think people should lay off him for getting the car, you know? Like, it's funny to, like, joke around about. but in all seriousness like good for him it's a six thousand

dollar car like he said i can't buy into the fact that he needed it right you know he no he didn't need he didn't need it his truck was fine and he doesn't go that many places so it wasn't like his truck didn't have 20 more years in it because he doesn't i don't drive that much either so i'm not throwing stones but when you don't drive a lot, your stuff lasts a long time. Yeah. And if you're not making long trips, then it's not that big of a risk anyway. You know, my, my, my dad was talking about this the other day. His truck's been giving him issues. He's got a 2017 Silverado and he had some sort of a oil issue or something.

I don't remember exactly what he said, but it wasn't... He had to go pick up a young lady at the Atlanta airport, and he was like, suddenly I didn't... My truck wasn't working on me. I had to go on the other truck, and it was a mess. And his lady was like, but I didn't give a fuck. What was she going to do? Say no? So he's...

I think he's about to buy himself a... He's flying bitches in to fuck now? Good for him. He's flying bitches in. So I think he's about to buy himself a... He's flying bitches in to fuck now? Good for him. He's flying bitches in. So I think he's about to buy himself a brand new truck. I suggest... Yeah, because that 2017 was getting a little long in the tooth. He's mad at Chevrolet. You don't want to have warranty service or anything.

He's mad at Chevrolet. Yeah. Yeah, he's mad at Chevrolet brand. He may have only two or three spare cars. So you can't just have that thing sitting there getting serviced. He needs a 4x4 truck for doing stuff. He didn't have a backup 4x4 truck? He did. That's what he told me.

Come on, Mr. Kyle Dad. There are tiers of vehicles that this man has. He has no wings of redemption, so he's doing okay. He's going to get himself a brand new truck, but no more Chevrolet. He's always, like his personal truck has almost always been a Chevrolet. Does he do half ton or three-quarter ton?

Half ton. Half ton probably. Right, like the 1500. He has an interesting year. So I guess I'm an F-150 guy. That's what I chose. But if he's looking at the Dodge and the F-150. He's driving a Dodge right now.

Dude, the Dodges are amazing right now. Yeah. They look like Teslas inside. And people are going to hear that and roll their eyes at me. It has like a 19-inch touchscreen in there. Yeah, that's what he was bragging about. He rented a brand new Dodge while he makes his mind up. Because it's a pretty big decision.

But he's like, definitely not Chevrolet. For him, I think it's F-150 or what's the Dodge? The Ram. I think they don't call it a Dodge anymore. It's a Ram. Well, yeah. The make is Dodge. The model is

the Ram. I think literally they don't call it a Dodge anymore. They've disassociated from that. Welcome to Ram is the Ram. I think literally they don't call it a Dodge anymore. They disassociated from it. But we're in a Ram country. So yeah, I think that's... It's probably what he's getting familiar with right now. It's probably what he'll get. I've been meaning to go see him. I want to go see this Dodge that he's riding around.

Because I haven't seen a new Dodge in like eight or nine years. I don't even know what they fucking look like. Last time I was in a Dodge, it was really utilitarian and not form if anyone is slick hitting so both uh car truck talk it's been a while chevy and dodge both introduced new 2019s so i got mine in 2018 and i feel like i got the coolest one well chevy and dodge both came out this year, and they're very cool, right? Arguably cooler than mine. And the Dodge in particular, like, man, they just, they do some things that I think are really neat. I like, not everyone does, but you know the wheel wells, they show up in the truck bed, and you have a truck bed, but the sides aren't worth as much because they have the humps in them.

Oh, they have the storage in there. They have the storage in there, which I think is really cool. because they have the humps in them. Oh, they have the storage in there. They have the storage in there, which I think is really cool. The center console has, I'm making up 19 inches,

but that's about right. Like corner to corner has a giant screen in it. They have airbag suspension. So, you know, I bet he tows every once in a while. I know he's into restoring cars and stuff, but I bet like most people, he doesn't tow most of the time. With the airbag suspension,

you know, it can be firm when you're towing and not firm when you're driving every day. It's really nice. You load up one of those Dodges, it's beautiful. I mostly avoided it. One, I didn't want to wait. A lot of use coming up. And two, I worry Dodge isn't reliable. They don't have the track record.

Yeah, I don't know. This is a wings redemption question. If you want someone who pretends like they know the answer. But I honestly don't know. I could do some research and probably figure out. I'll probably do that for him. Because he's about to spend $50,000. Yeah, but I also imagine he's not keeping it

after the five-year warranty's up. I don't even know if it's five years. No, that's about what he does. He keeps them three to five years. Yeah, if you're only going to own the truck during the warranty. You know? Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, that's about what he does. He keeps them three to five years. Yeah, if you're only going to own the truck during the warranty, you know? Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, we enjoy it.

Doesn't Dodge, Dodge at one point, I remember, had like a crazy warranty. Like it might have been like five years, 100,000 miles. And at one point, it might have been unlimited miles. Like maybe I feel stupid for saying that, but if I remember like in 2005 or 2006, it seemed like they had like an unlimited mile warranty or something like eight years forever miles or something crazy like that quick google says it's currently five years 60 000 no it's not quite as nice as we were thinking i bet it's gone down in any case yeah he's on the hunt for a new ride um so that's the wings thing So there's this new game called...

Let me get the full fucking name of the game. It's Apex. It's made from the same people who make Fortnite. Apex Legends. It's called Apex Legends. I want to say it's had 10 million players in the last 72 hours. Is the numbers right now. I assume.

Free to play and it feels like a triple a game it feels like i should have paid 60 bucks for this when when i saw that my friends were playing it and they were like yeah come try this out i was like all right i guess i'll spend a little money on a game let's get this 60 game rolling i'm like wait wait free to play you mean like for a limited time or no it's a free fucking game uh shocking it's a really fun game it's a battle royale and it has a borderlands sci-fi kind of feel to it like you're jumping around and riding zip lines and uh it has the standard battle royale elements of coming out of a drop ship of some kind landing in some part of the map gathering weapons quickly and then outrunning uh ever shrinking like zone of operation uh it's three player squads and 60 players total in a match and it's really fucking fun it's fortnight

i hate i hate fortnight for a number of reasons i don't like the the cartoony look i don't like the silliness and i don't like uh the building aspect of it this isn't has none of those things to me this looks like kind of a halo borderlands mishmash of just fun battle royale as a quick interruption while you talk about it i have um shroud playing on the screen yeah yeah so i assume he'll be awesome. Of course, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so to my eye, I like your descriptions. It's a Battle Royale game with a Borderlands-y look. Well, Borderlands is cell shading, so that might be the wrong. Yeah, it's not the cell shading so much. The loot.

The loot looks exactly the same as Borderlands. I see what, yeah. And the color coding. I like that kind of loot. It's super easy to tell if you miss something when you're walking away. And it has this color coding system that's like instantaneously you know what's good and bad.

In PUBG, if I were to show you three helmets you might be like, well I guess you figured out. But at a glance, you'd be like is that helmet better than this helmet? I don't know. Is that vest better than that vest? I don't know. In this, it's like, it's a quick color coding system. And if you see something that's not as good as what you already have attached, it's like, nah, you don't know is that vest better than that vest i don't know and this it's like it's a quick color coding system and if you see something that's not as good as what you already have attached it's like nah you don't want this you can't even pick it up because it's not as good as what you already

have it's it's oh i like that feature it's really quick looting the weapons are diverse and silly there's a class system too so each character has like ultimate abilities and special abilities that are each unique and powerful and fun uh it's we played for a couple hours last night i guess and i loved it i had to go to bed early so i went to bed at 10 p.m and i saw three of my friends were playing it and i woke up at 6 a.m they were still playing it they played all fucking night good yeah well you know that's the other thing i was gonna say so we're pretty good at games like like you know when we play pub g we went a lot we've been playing a lot of rust which is a super competitive hardcore shooter that's very very very very difficult um to to get good at and that i feel like has sharpened our skills up a bit

we jump on this shit and it's child's play because it's a free to play game that everybody's hopping on board and it's like oh you people have nothing who am i playing with here it's like playing it's bots for the most part occasionally you'll run into somebody who puts up a fight but so often we're jumping in and just destroying just destroying people they won six games in a row last night can you pick each other up yeah yeah it's the time to kill is very long so you never get like oh i'm dead i'm dead it's more like i'm losing my fight i'm losing my fight i'm losing my fight i can't get away ah i'm down i'll trade out with me right yeah you know it's great if my hell's down to 10 and his is down to 30 switch yeah you have time for that sort of thing and

once you're down finishing that player off takes a minute you know even still he's got like a shield he's holding up like like trying to protect himself even though he's crippled and uh they have like you know you stand over the guy and hold e you pull off like a a humiliating finishing move where the character like styles on you and like spins their pistol and like puts in your mouth they're like does like a like michael jackson spin move and kicks you in the face or something crazy like that. It's fun shit. I've been enjoying it. Goddamn. Camera.

This does look fun. I'm going to play something tonight. That's what turned me off. I probably wouldn't have bought or played Fortnite anyway. The clips of people just running around on ramps building higher and higher. This doesn't look fun to me.

It's very skillful too. Oh, I'm sure that's part of the reason why. It's like, I'm not going to invest the time to figure out how to build ramps and floor panels and things. I've already built a skill set around moving and shooting. I don't need a whole new dimension of difficulty added to this mixture. I mentioned it before the show started,

but I think it's interesting. of difficulty added to this this mixture i mentioned it before the show started but i think it's interesting my son's parkour coach does the mocap for this company the motion capture so he's the guy that does all that fortnight like scaling and climbing and he's in this too that's cool that's cool yeah that's a neat job so he's like he's like andy circus but not in lord of the rings right well exactly Well, exactly. Yeah. So we watch his kid. We are practically grandparents now. We have a little baby in the house, like, I don't know, maybe 30 hours a week or something like that.

And I say we. I like the baby's name. I won't say it, but like, I'm a big fan of the baby's name. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. She's a good baby too. But yeah, so we have a baby in the house that we watch all the time.

And, um, yeah, sometimes I'll be like, I got to run. I'm, you know, he's doing the mocap thing and he comes back and tell stories.

And now, are you afraid at all that, that this might give Jackie a bit of baby fever? Dude, she has baby fever, but we are going to satisfy it through this baby and nagging them to have more. Suddenly Woody's wearing condoms right right actually honey i'm just not in the mood do you have any hot flashes yet

okay i'm not in the mood yeah no she absolutely like it's fun i see her with this baby and i almost forgot how good she is at this and how much she likes this you know and and to me babies are like fun one third of the time and not so fun the other two thirds is like work to do you feeding babies that's not something i like you know i don't i don't like feeding babies really but uh we'll say it again i hate babies they're like gross puppies that with no fur i don't mind them they're just little people yeah i just want to throw them in the air and they're happy and King and they think I'm entertaining like I enjoy my time with babies but all those other times that baby belongs to Jackie Jackie likes babies all the time she really really

loves watching this kid and we are like like we have so many baby things now gates play pens big cushions um i can't even describe all the baby toys educational and fun and feeding apparatus high chairs like we are equipped as parents at this point to to watch her and it's uh it's kind of cool it's it's kind of cool. It's brought a fun little thing into our life. So we enjoy watching the kid. Mostly Jackie does it. Nice, that's cool.

And the dad is in this game. I should probably mention that this baby's not related to you in any way. Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, through a private circumstance, their original baby caretakers fell through. And we're happy to fill that role. Nice. Kyle, what would it take for a friend of yours to be like, I need you to take care of my baby for 10 days while I get my cancer surgery?

Nothing would make that happen. Nothing. I can't imagine the circumstance in which i would willingly take on a baby into my life i i really can't imagine any sort of circumstance like i would have to be compensated financially i suppose or maybe sexually both you have to pay me and you have to fuck me and you provide all the baby shit yeah man uh like like i don't even want to watch your dog like i pay somebody to watch my dog when when like i want to do a thing like i certainly am not going to fucking watch your baby you made this decision okay you you i i was you should have aborted it like the rest of us all right

well if you go to new y York and it's not too late. That's the progressive thing to do. Now, you can take that toddler up to New York and make, you can make a case. You know, they might just put that baby down. That's what they do up there. But don't be bringing it around here. I'm not looking to take care of that mistake of yours over there. That money pit.

It's funny that your default thought about babies is mistake. There's no one out there who's like, I want a child. No one with a good head on their shoulders. I'll probably have a kid in the next few years. You didn't want an IRA instead? You didn't want a certificate of deposit?

You didn't want a rental property? You didn't want a goddamn Lamborghini? I would support your Lambo purchase before I supported you. You're not going to get It makes so much more sense. on the direction you're headed, Taylor. It's going to depreciate in value,

but you're going to get a lot of fun out of it. The child is an instant money pit. That's never going to, I mean, what's it going to do? Watch after you when you're old? You're not going to live that long anyway. Not Taylor.

Haven't you heard? Global warming's coming. The planet won't be inhabitable in 35 years. In 12 years, I've been reliable. I feel like in this group. 12 years. I'm sorry, Mrs. Ocasio-Ramirez or whatever.

That's just me. No, but you want kids at some point. I know you don't personally. No. But I think it's normal for most people to. Five years ago, I would have been up and down swearing I never wanted one. Yeah. And go ahead and have one. Five more years, you'll be swearing up and down you made a big mistake. Enjoy. I might go the

full Amish route and just pop out seven and then go start a farm. I'm under the impression that people that have kids are just in a situation where they can't admit that they hate their children and that they've made a huge mistake. Because once you've done it, it's not like you go and buy a boat for example that's like that's a great example i i often tell people i made a big mistake i bought a boat it was three days ago i know you did well 115 a 115th timeshare of a boat something like that i bought a whole boat i bought a whole goddamn boat like like Stern to stem or whatever the fuck. Stern to stem?

Yeah, the whole goddamn. A real seaman, Kyle. From stern to stem. From bow to stern. Right to left. Back. Whatever the fuck. And I freely admit, oh, this was a big mistake.

This may have been one of the stupider things I've ever done in my life. But a parent can't do that because the boat's alive and has feelings. The boat's right there. How about for the kid? How about just by some, you win a lottery because, you know, 10 years from now the population's plummeting or something. I don't know. Some disease happens.

There's a new plague and they need people to start having babies. The government's going to pay you $10 thousand dollars a year to have a child per child Kid cost more than that Well, I was meaning like they pay for all the shit that comes along with the kid and they give you a little cream on Top 10k for yourself per you and I would outsource the the raising of this kid if it's a profitable thing now You can't the government brown shirts come every morning in check. god not the brown shirts those fucking democrats took over didn't they they were white kyle they took it to socialism you know it was the national socialist party right the nazis it is a left organization never forget the nazis were leftists dude that's the funniest

fucking thing that like like the name of the Nazi party, the National Socialists, like nationalists are like, we're about our country and the people who live here, but not like that in any way. And the socialists are like, we're about socialism. Not like that at all.

Not in that way. And it's like both sides have to like say not the Nazi part. I had to Google it because I wanted to be sure. They were actually far right, the Nazis. Socialism is a left policy. They're anti-democracy.

Well, they used fascism to establish power. But I guess fascism is just a means of achieving power. It's not like a government style. Yeah, I just don't want to kid. Because nationalism is super far right wing. Yeah, I just don't want to kill but it doesn't because like nationalism is super far right-wing Yeah, the national is of course definitely right when they called themselves the National Socialist German Workers Party Which sounds leftish, but they modeled themselves after far-right groups with similar aims Well, I mean

Right Well, I mean I'm just saying the name might not tie in with what they're doing. Hitler attacked both left-wing and right-wing politics in Germany. They were anti-democracy. It doesn't matter. They were Nazis.

They shouldn't be compared to any of our modern... We need to be very careful of the next movement that comes around when people look spiffy like when people are walking around in spiffy hats and nice pressed shirts and they've got an emblem where you're like now that is memorable be on the lookout for those guys i like the skulls right antifa people their uniforms suck like they look like cool they're no threat whatsoever like volunteers and like and like a Halloween spook fest or something like that So they don't look their uniforms aren't cool enough for me to think they're to go the other direction before them the tea party people

They had those three prong hats with the tea bags hanging off of it. Oh, that was just never that is that was ridiculous That is not threatening you could show up at my door with a gun pointed at me, and if you have three tea bags on there, I'm going to be like, alright, sir, you settle down. I'm going to go get my gun. I'll be back. Yeah. Stay out here, you goose. If you're not dressed spiffy, you're not on my list of concerns. Yeah. Once you get organized

and they get a nice spiffy look and a uniform and nice haircuts and shit, you start worrying. They're about to start sewing twins together and putting dye into people's eyeballs to make them blue. How did we get on this topic? We were talking about Kyle having a kid.

Oh, and the brown shirts. Yeah, not happening. Not happening. It's too much responsibility for one thing. It's not that I hate, hate, hate children, although I do. You don't even enjoy it. Seriously, if Uncle Kyle had to watch a kid for a morning you wouldn't think that was a fun like way to spend it i'm a friend's uh god or i'm a friend's child's godfather so like like if they said you didn't get to watch the baby i'd be like i don't really mind okay

you know yeah man like like i don't enjoy it like like tiny doses, right? I enjoyed hanging out with Colin for half an hour. Two hours later and I was going to be... You'll see them at Thanksgiving and be okay with that level of interaction. Sure, yeah. I can see you around the holidays, but

don't be hanging out with me on the weekends or anything. But you don't even see them on the holidays because you don't go home for Christmas or anything. No, I don even see them on the holidays because you don't go home for Christmas or anything. No, I don't do that. No, I don't see them at all. I don't have any younger nephews or nieces anymore or anything. They're all grown up and 18 years old and shit like that. But when they were kids, I'd hang out with them a little bit, 30 minutes at a time.

How much older is your next closest sibling? I have a sister that's a couple years younger than me and i have a half sister that is fuck eight years older or something like that okay yeah all your cousins were super young like you were already way older and they were like little babies about the same no no my uh my first cousin is is one year younger than me scott scott he's a he's a year younger than me and his sister is maybe two years younger than me something like that um i just didn't really have any like younger kids in my starting to sound weird in my life uh growing up or anything like that you know no no uncle kyle type relationships with anybody i mean i had nieces and nephews but i you know i saw him

twice a year or something like that. I'm not interested in that. I'm just not interested in fucking having a kid. I wasn't sure where you were going with that for a second. I'm just not interested in fucking a kid. You know, it's... Let me do an advertisement here. Tell everyone about Capterra.

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yeah oh that vodka's kind of acidic I'm feeling it right here is it in your upper chest? yeah well at least you got something low in acid like apple juice to help sate it it's the best.

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I'm not going to be because of Zebra. I think Chiz literally did use their website and he saved quite a bit of money on his car insurance. He's a... Yeah, I'm doing that for sure. He's got a whole collection of high-end sports cars now. A whole collection. I hope that's true.

Does he genuinely have a couple sports cars? Oh, yeah. Lambos, Ferraris, fucking Porsches, and all the other brands that I know because I'm a gearhead. McLarens and Mercedes. Bugattis. That's how you pronounce that.

Bugatti. Bugatti. In my new Bugatti. I got a Bugatti. Welcome to my new Bugatti. That's Chiz. That's Chiz. He sings that song, I think.

It's a Bugatti 0 to 200, just like a mama used to make. Maserati is the Italian sports car. Who makes the Bugatti? I think Bugatti makes Bugatti. Yes, but what's the country, DeFran? Oh, I would guess Italy. Probably one of their sounding countries. Oh, mamma mia.

I'm going to say Belgium. It does sound Italian. No, France. I'm surprised that it is france yeah are they they're i guess not like they're just all yeah they gotta time try the brand new bugatti pickup truck you don't need to get the horses in the barn think bugatti if you want to tow your lumber at at 135 miles an hour down the freeway you choose bugatti hard torque of muscle membrane technology trucks there are a couple new pickup trucks coming out that are really interesting have you heard of the ryzen right is that a brand i

might be pronouncing it incorrectly but uh it's a Silicon Valley startup company like Tesla, and they're coming out with their own pickup truck, and it's probably not Ryzen. And it's an electric pickup? Yeah. The all-electric Rivian. Rivian. You knew it wasn't going to be right.

I did. I did. The all-electric Rivian starts out at a low, low $69,000. Sounds crazy, right? But how much is a pickup truck now? They're like $50,000. This one's $69,000. Again, it starts out at $69,000.

But don't worry. It tops out around $100,000, but don't worry. It tops out around 100K. I've seen videos of it. It looks cool. I'm just going by the picture. All three versions of the truck have a top speed of 125 miles per hour. I don't think my truck goes much faster. I think it stops at 105 or 106, actually, is where it stops.

I was saying that's pretty fucking fast for a pickup truck. Yeah, it hits zero to 60 in three seconds flat. Yeah, I think... It has 750 horsepower! I think the front of it looks dumb, but a lot of cars and trucks seem to be moving towards that squinty-eyed look. Are you a red-blooded American who raises cattle

and is poor with their finances? Look at the Vivian truck. It's funny. It looks just like the chinks that make it. But it's got this big truck in the front. Quick, nimble, sneaky. Quick, nimble, sneaky. It's super fast.

It has tons of power. Oh, that's not one. Comes in jungle monkey yellow. You have to see the video for it that shows it off. But it has seats that drop down. It's built for this adventure lifestyle. It's like if you like hiking and mountain biking and shit, it's got all these features built into it.

I know. Buy a Ford Ranger, goddammit. Stop selling our future away for your $100,000 pickup truck. When you're enjoying the outdoors with your Rivian, don't you want to be able to plug in a 75-inch UHD 4K smart Samsung TV and catch the late of the game? Nature sucks, and here at Rivian, we know it sucks, which is why we made an electric truck that goes so fast

you won't have to see much of it. Dude, I saw the Ford Ranger the other day um it's a big truck now it's not that little bitch truck that used to be like it seems like they had one body style for 25 years it looks nice now i wouldn't drive one frankly because it's a ranger and and you know i'm not gonna rangers bitch truck in your head i think it's what you're saying kind of yeah i want the full-size manly truck. But if I were four inches shorter, I'd probably get one. It had a little penis, you know?

No, if you had a huge cock, you'd drive around a VW Bug. I never felt like that in my Tacoma, that it was less of a truck. No, that's different. The Toyota has a different kind of feel to it to me. That's different. The Toyota has a different kind of feel to it to me. I know a lot of guys who drive... A lot of hardworking but also

smart guys would pick the Tacoma because they did a little research and they saw, oh shit, you can put 200,000 miles on this motherfucker. I think I'm just going to get a fucking RAV4 after this car dies. What a fag. Just like a little SUV. What am I doing? I'm kidding. I don Oh, what a fag. Just like a little SUV. What am I doing?

I'm kidding. I don't know what you fucking drive. Yeah, right? What a fag. My opinion of Taylor is mostly built on automotive preference. I've got a dildo on wheels, and I'm like, all right, sounds good. What's the gas mileage like? Well, I have to sit on it.

It's actually just a dildo hot glued to a Roomba. It takes me forever to get anywhere. Yeah, I don't care what you fucking drive. I'm still tempted to buy one of those fucking Corvettes, one of those wrecked Corvettes and fix it up. You're in a position to do that. And I think you'd enjoy the whole process. There's a pride in ownership when you fix stuff.

I think that's a part of it. I'm watching Wings go down this whole debacle. How bad is his debacle? He's not going to worry about the airbags. He's a motor mount and he's got a cheap car. Yeah, I agree with you. But still, I just feel like he made a mistake. He should have gotten a different car, I feel like.

If he could go back, he'd probably be like, oh, not this one. Maybe one that's $7,000 and doesn't have all these issues with it. Does it have a good motor? You said it was a six-cylinder, which I think can mean it has the best or worst motor. For that year model, it's not the EcoBoost. It's not the really cool one, but it's fine.

It's off the top of my head. It's probably, it's, I don't remember how many horsepower it has. Um, but it's, it's, it's not like the 220 horsepower V6 of like 2005. It's, it's like 270 or something like that. It's fine. It's fine. You know, it's, it's, it's more than he needs. He's, he's not going to be doing anything silly in it

like my car's got 425 horsepower i feel like it's too much i'm looking at that corvette and the base model is like 550 horsepower and if i get the z06 it's like 650 or 675 or something 400 horsepower now i know it's much heavier than your camaras it's not the same thing but coming from that tacoma which i don't know, I think it had 200 when it was new. It's 15 years old now. It's probably got 150. To go from there to 400 just feels ridiculous

to me. It's a lot of get up and go. It's fun. I don't really drive fast anymore, but I like the sound of it. Have you slowed down? Oh, yeah. I haven't gotten a speeding ticket in forever. Is that why you slowed down? you just didn't want tickets part a big part of it but also like like yeah that's what it is because like if if you turn me loose i want to go 100 miles per hour everywhere like if there were no if if there was no penalty for going as fast as i wanted i'd be

going 90 most of the time like like on 50, if the speed limit's 55, I'd do 90. And if the speed limit's 70, I'd be going 110. My happy place seems to be just a couple miles an hour faster than everyone else. It helps me keep track of the cars. I'll go 79 a lot, right?

It seems like other people are going 75. And I just sort of, every time I pass someone, I know that my blind spot's been wiped clean. Exactly. Exactly. I have that same feeling when you're like in the mix and cars are doing this number, like, like passing you and you're passing them. You have to be very vigilant about like what's going on and, and, and really keep this mental note of like, or he's there,'s there, looking back and using your mirrors and everything. And I've never been an offender, much less an accident.

I feel like I'm very good at it. But I feel like I'm at my best when I'm going faster than everyone. And that doesn't mean 100 miles an hour. That might mean 74 miles per hour in a 70 mile per hour zone. But if I'm passing everyone I encounter, then I know where everyone is.

Every time you do it you've scraped your blind spot clean yeah yeah absolutely yeah that's but yeah i i love those corvettes i like the new body style and it seems like the body style has been sexy as fuck for like eight years now yeah like so i don't keep on top of corvettes all the time and sometimes i have a vision of them in my head that's a little bubbly and smooth, and that's not my favorite. But you get a little more current than that, and suddenly it's like, dude,

like Corvette got some good looking cars. Like they get, I don't know, angular, masculine, fast looking kind of way. It looks European with the bubble headlights and the really low front i don't know what year would it be i'll just pull up a picture uh the one i was looking at was a 2015 uh so yeah it was a black 2015 uh corvette yeah it's cool the ones i'm talking

about would be like the ones that i don't like way older than this like 2004 or something yeah something like that but dude these look it it does look european to me european with like an american european if that's somehow a thing it still has that low and wide and like it could take a curve at 80 miles an hour corvettes have a big front right because they need room for that big engine this is there's no four cylinder lotus something or other in here no it's 6.2 liter and uh the the the it's either i think they're i don't i'm not a corvette expert i don't stay up to date but i think it's a 6.2 liter on the base model and then if you step up to the z series it's like it's a supercharged 6.2 liter, which is just insane.

Dude, I think that modern Corvettes are really good looking. I can't have one, of course, because I'm in my 40s and it would just scream midlife crisis and everyone would make fun of me. But I like them. I think it's just they're really neat looking. I like them too. I'd rather have that than a Porsche for sure. I was talking to someone the other day about this and they're like he was he's a new zealander and he was like yeah just get yourself a porsche i was like no no this is so much better than that

this is so i'd so much rather have uh a corvette than a porsche it just looks so much better to me yeah they don't know they look it it's it's hard for me to put into words how i find them to be like a tougher sports car you know that it just looks like a girl doesn't belong in a corvette whereas a lot of other ones are kind of unisex yeah i may get a i may just get an older one like like a much older one like a 60s and fix that up because it's they're easier and cheaper to work on and i know those engine like if i got a brand new corvette i'd have a hard time working on that engine if there were anything ever wrong with it but i got an old one and it's it's it's it's right in your wheelhouse yeah yeah i've always thought that about the old

mustang i don't know why the the oldest mustangs you can probably envision them they're real light they're not even that powerful but they're appealing to me yeah but i've always loved corvettes it's always been like i don't know my dream car i guess i've always really liked corvettes i should have bought a corvette when i'm i should have bought a corvette when i bought my camaro but it was just like you're gonna keep the camaro much longer yeah i keep it forever. I'll never get rid of it. You think? No reason to. Yeah, I would never.

There's no reason to. Like, I would never get enough on trade-in for its value to me. And I've still only got like 65,000 miles on the thing. You don't drive a ton anymore. Wait, what year is it? 2012. Yeah, you really don't put that many miles on it. Yeah, like 10 or 12 12 000 miles a year or

something like that i've taken on a couple of long road trips i drove to arkansas one time after that t1g place that we went that time remember i drove out there uh that time um but yeah i like that car a lot it has zero issues with it it drives smoothly it's decent gas mileage and it's got trunk space and i don't know it does everything i need a car to do nice yeah i want to say my truck in the first month i put like six or seven thousand miles on it and then in the next whatever like nine months i put six more i was uh if we're ready to move past cars. Yeah, sure. I was reading through the subreddit, like probably Monday or Tuesday,

and I saw a couple people posting that they had done their first alpha shit of their lives. They had been beta bitch quiet shitters. Just to recap, we talked about how it's important to always alpha shit. When you go into a public restroom if there's a person next to you or people peeing in the urinals you don't hold back like a bitch you unleash you unleash you do the deed and you certainly don't sit in the stall and wait for them to leave before you get out you want to you want them to know and to fear who is making

all that noise and that and those those those smells ruminating in their clothes now you know you want to be the alpha shitter and i saw a couple people posting a lot of people actually posting saying i've been a fool i've been a fool and a coward my whole life until yesterday at burger king when i shit my brains out and there was someone right next to me and it was freeing i felt free i realized no one's gonna me. I don't need to be embarrassed. Everybody poops. That's an old adage meme book, but it's true as true can be. And so if you're not on the

alpha shitting wagon yet, people, get on it and then tweet about it to Woody about what your experience was with alpha shitting. I promise that first release, that first thump of the heavy turd into the water might seem daunting you don't want you don't people to know but afterward you'll be happy you

did so alpha shitting is very important uh it's good for your bowels probably because you're you're pooping faster getting it out the angry the toxins aren't staying in there toxins yeah the toxin eating that you have toxins in there, asshole? I mean, doesn't all poop have toxins in it? Or is toxins just a word that hippies say so that they can sell you oils? Yeah, and detoxes. And detoxes. And like, oh, you want to drink Tabasco and lemon juice for six weeks and you're going to lose a lot of weight?

And it's like, you're going to lose all your weight. People get facials and then they get pimples all over the place, which is the toxins escaping. The toxins seem less troublesome before the facial. Yeah, and that's definitely not true. The toxins are like, we got to get out of here. We're trying to get the skin.

We're just going to become sips now. Yeah, that's not how that works at all. You've never gotten pimples after. I've never had a facial, I don't think. No, I've gotten facials all. You've never gotten pimples after... I've never had a facial, I don't think. No, I've gotten facials, and I've never gotten pimples after. Pimples is when you clog a pore, and you get dirt inside your pore, and it's infected.

Well, my information comes from Howard Stern, and I don't see how you can... Oh, Howard Stern's a fucking moron on, like, 90% of the shit he talks about. Like, it's so... Whatever. That's what they say about us on 100% share. No, it's really not.

Like, occasionally we'll be wrong about something. not like occasionally correct howard stir there's a clash of the titans with regards to like informational accuracy i'm wrong about shit tremendously in a funny joking kind of way he's you know he'll be genuinely ignorant about a thing and not for laughs he pointed me towards wet wipes, and he was brilliant. He's on the money. That's true. That's one tally in his column, Kyle. What do you have?

That's one. They were trying to understand what a gaping asshole meant today, like when a woman is gaping in pornography, and none of them knew. Well, they should have come to me. This is my area of expertise. Right? There was a guy in there that knew and didn't want to say. no ronnie knew they had to get him in the studio to explain he's like nah you're all wrong that's when you fuck a girl with a big cock and you pull out and her asshole looks

like a cave you think robin would know that she's she's gone to brown no robin was stumbling over she's like no i think it's this rob Robin is the dumbest bitch on the planet. Robin is a dumb cat. She doesn't straightly be as dumb. I haven't heard her like you have. She's just dumb. Is she funny at all? She's so dumb. No. Oh, well then why is she there? Because she's been with Howard

for 30 fucking years. Did you ever hear Robin get roasted by that dude who does all the roasts? I forget his name. I bet Taylor knows. Who's the roast master? Geraldo? Yeah. No, no, no. Greg Geraldo died in 2010.

Shit. Is it Ross? Yeah, Ross. Jeff Ross. That's it. Jeff Ross. They were roasting Howard Stern, and they're like, he started that show so long ago.

Originally, he purchased Robin. That's a really good joke. I listen to a ton of Stern. I listen almost... I listen to a ton of Stern. It's what's on my car when I drive. Robin is a stupid, stupid woman. She made some good career moves.

As in not moving. Oh, she's done well for herself. Yeah, she's rich. She's rich. Most of those people on the show, they find the nose candy. Jackie suddenly thinks he's yeah most of those people on the show they they find the nose candy jackie suddenly thinks he's the core of the show learns otherwise they they overdo it like howard stern show stuttering john at this you know stand up and and they just use the brand

incorrectly and they get howard man not robin robin obeyed howard for years, and she's been rewarded. She stayed in her fucking lane. She's worth $35,000. Yeah. Oh, I'm not surprised at all. She owns many homes and many boats, and she's a dumb bitch. I'm telling you, I listen to Robin so much. Good for her for making the most of it then. It's like they don't let the writers write for her,

and she's the only one going off the cuff because she's just dumb. She can't make a joke. She never tells a funny joke. It's never funny. She's usually annoying as shit. Her job is the newswoman. She reads the news and she'll read the news article and Howard will be like, oh really? So where did that happen? I don't know. I'm just reading what someone else wrote on this piece of paper. She's just reading. She never knows what she's even reading she has no idea the backstory of the story or anything beyond what's what an employee who's getting paid a menial salary i'm sure wrote on a fucking piece of

paper and handed to her she she's she's so i hate her i hate her so fucking much and and i'm so sick and tired of them acting like she's some sexy, giant-titted, beautiful black woman. She has been doing that since the 90s. Things must have changed in that period of time. There was a time in like 94 where Robin was sexy.

Look, Robin is bloated and blonde-haired and disgusting. Blonde-haired and disgusting. Blonde-haired? Do we know her name? Robin is disgusting. To look at, to listen to, just the worst

part of the Stern show. Second only to Ronnie. I hate Ronnie. I wish Ronnie would die. I see what she looks like. Yeah. I hate Ronnie. I wish Ronnie would die. I see what she looks like. Huh. Yeah. Well, this is maybe just not a flattering picture. Because there are no flattering pictures of Robin.

Not from this decade. Yeah, that's what I'm stuck on. Because this picture I'm looking at, she looks great for 66. But for all I know, it was taken at 34. Can you find a picture you think is current Robin? Yeah, no problem. Yeah. Robin Quivers.

She's a little heavy in this one. Yeah, I'm trying to find one too. I think the blonde hair is the most recent. Yeah, just Robin Quivers 2018. It's like the top row on the right. Oh, 2018. Why didn't I drop that? I know that trick.

Stupid. Yeah, I mean, she looks like a 66-year-old woman. But she's 66. There's nothing wrong with that. Who's her husband? Is that her husband? She's not married. Oh. She's been single the whole time. It must be tough to get married if you're Robin Quivers.

Everyone knows that she's a meal ticket. She could just get some sexy 24-year-old with great abs and shit and just get banged out on the reg and he'll deal with it. He's going to get that news reading money. Once she got through her interesting stories

about her father finger banging her and using hot dogs as sex toys and at times she shit herself while she was jogging in the park and had to ask a Mexican man for his hose to wipe the shit off her legs. That's really funny. She got ass fucked

by a stranger in a public bathroom. That was my next story yes. Actually in her apartment bent over the sink. Ass fucked by a stranger in her own apartment was my next story yes okay and actually in her apartment bent over the sink um asked by a stranger in her own apartment are you are you pretty sure like a hundred percent like i know i could tell the story like verbatim like they hung out on her apartment for a while and then he took her inside and he bent her over the sink it's in her book put it right in her butt so she wrote a book and it was about it was about an autobiography, I think. And she's trying to sell it as if people care about her life. And Howard's getting her to tell the fucked in the ass story.

And it's like, just go with Howard. He knows what he's doing. He's right. This is the story that people are buying this book for. I love that Howard is supposed to be this dirty king of smut, kind of like Larry Flint character, but he's super sexually inexperienced, it feels like, and knows nothing about any sort of sex

except for the most vanilla of sex. He's about as vanilla as it gets as far as sex. We're all much filthier than Howard Stern in our actual sex lives, in our sexual repertoire and knowledge. I gave tips on how to play call of duty and at some point a lot of the people who came to me for tips passed me i feel like that's what we've done in our lives to howard stern in sex you know when i listened to him as a young man in my in a station wagon uh you know i had a thing or two to learn from him but that's like i

passed him at 17 the guy like his wife with a condom like like he can't get over that that makes me lose so much well like that it just makes me lose respect for him totally and and like like he doesn't do anything adventurous why does he fuck his wife with a condom because he doesn't want to have kids all right so why do you lose all respect for him because she's this is for taylor because she's supposed to have an iud a pill of what like no it's just like that he's or he should get a vasectomy like a billion dollars he could get a vasectomy if he knows for sure i don't want to have kids yeah then just get the vasectomy and then just have regular sex but like i've never listened to stern the way kyle has like i've

listened to just like clips on youtube it never it never pulled me in the way that ona pulled me in like people were all like to kyle's point people were like oh howard stern this king of I've listened to just clips on YouTube. It never pulled me in the way that ONA pulled me in. To Kyle's point, people were like, oh, Howard Stern, this king of smut and debauchery. The clips I've watched of Howard Stern look like Teletubbies next to ONA clips. You've got to go back in time. Okay, I'll have to watch some old clips. He would have four strippers or four porn stars come in,

and they would compete in the the whore olympics or something like that that involved like they don't have strap-ons on and they'd be trying to like hit ping pong balls or they they do anal ring toss where they'd have like they you got two guests for the day right he'd do like a dual guest thing the first guest is an absolute whore you know porn star or a stripper or something or just some girl who wants the $500 that they have from whatever sponsor that day and she'll be on the floor ass up in the air doing anal ring toss

and then I don't remember who the celebrity is who comes in but it's like Mickey Rourke or somebody like that and he's there to promote Sin City or something like that and he's like hey Mickey would you like to play anal ring toss we've got this whore here on the floor her name's my her name's miami she's bent over ass up in the air and and mickey rorick will start throwing rings at this or like he'll get one of his retarded whack packers in it. There was one time

where he had, I'll call them whores because it's a mishmash of prostitutes, strippers, and porn stars, whatever he had that day, and he just has her shave a retarded midget's crotch. And that's on

YouTube Uncensored. For what purpose? It's educational. I don't know how to shave a retard. No, no, no. This is the best part. The razor was a sponsor. I'm going to see if this is on YouTube. It's on YouTube uncensored. It's Beale Juice gets crotch

shaved or something like that. And he'd have the Whack Packers get fucked. Some porn star would be there to promote her new movie. This is back before the internet like made porn free and frequent. Uh, so, so it'd be like, Oh, here's dynamite or whatever her name was. And dynamite was going to fuck high pitched Eric, who is a disgusting human being that's on youtube too also completely uncensored if you want to see this kind of cute little prostitute porn star fuck high-pitched eric who's a 420 pound dim-witted i think they tested him and technically he's slow um and he talks like this but he's

faking it for sure Just for the fucking views That piece of shit scumbag Are you telling me he fakes an accent for views? It's different Because he claims it's a medical issue What are you talking about? He's not playing a character He's not playing a character

He's pretending like he's got a medical issue That makes him sad He's not being a completely different individual. He's sounding like this, all phlegmy and gross and he's fucking disgusting. Jordan Peterson.

He's awful. He's a fucking putrid human being. Just a scumbag piece of shit. This Beetlejuice clip, I see it's censored, and I don't want to skip through the whole 45-minute thing, but I saw Artie Lang in there for a split second. He's morbidly

obese, and my first thought was like, wow, look how good he used to look. Dude, I saw him wearing sunglasses and a human nose. If you go old school on Artie Lang, like, you know, 22 or something, he actually did look good. He was a better than average looking guy.

That's where he started. Yeah, I think so too, especially if he'd thinned up a little bit. I mean, he was an actor. When he was on Anthony's show, his nose would just start bleeding. He's knocking water bottles over continuously. Yeah, there was a compilation of him just knocking water bottles over and bleeding out of his nose. And Anthony has to sit there like, oh,

hey, are they under control? And he's like clearly poked the fuck out. It's like a shame where he is now. Yeah, he's not going to make it much longer. He looks like he's 20 years older than he is.

How old is he? I think he's 41. Is he really 41? He is. No, he's 51, and he looks like he's knocking on death's door. I don't mean to brag. I'm aging much better than him. You're aging way better than him. You look like you could be Artie L death's door. I don't mean to brag. I'm aging much better than him. You're aging

way better than him. You look like you could be Artie Lang's kid. That poor guy, man. It's all self-induced. You've got to feel bad for him. You don't have to feel as bad. Not as bad as someone who didn't bring it on someone who has

like cystic fibrosis you don't feel as bad for him as you feel for someone with that but you can still empathize because that must be horrible to be i can't imagine what it'd be like what it would be like to be addicted to cocaine much less be addicted to like cocaine and heroin and the menagerie of other stuff that he tried over the over the years i'm sure kyle knows the the full list of things yeah heroin was the was the big problem yeah doing doing eight balls when you cocaine and heroin all that stuff you know he he had a he had a rough time you know he he had those addictive personality issues with gambling and a number of other things but he also had like a really rough love life with dana uh you know an on, off again thing where you're really somebody. Dana was his girlfriend.

I'm not famous. I wouldn't. No, no, just, just as his girlfriend who very attractive young lady. And, uh,

it is hit a hard time and, you know, he'd be on Stern really high on, on, uh, heroin, um, and falling asleep on the show. You know,

he'd be sitting there with dark glasses on and nodding off and stuff. The eating got really out of hand where you'd see him over there eating so many breakfast sandwiches. It's like, how many breakfast sandwiches has he had? He's had like eight Egg McMuffins over there. He's supposed to be working. He's making right at $1 million a year, like $980,000

a year or something like that. And he was amazing. I've heard every generation of the Stern show from beginning to modern days. No one ever filled that chair the way he did. What does he do in it? Because Jackie the Joke Man, Fred, I never thought they were very critical to the show. So Fred's got his own thing. Fred does the soundboard and he interjects and he'll laugh along with jokes to kind of pump jokes up.

He's also slipping Howard notes. he's writing jokes on the fly and uh but it's mostly the sound board and a little bit of interjection maybe 10 of the time he's interjecting but that there's that sidekick chair that that jackie filled for a while um and uh there was someone else who's already obviously but there was a third person that at one point or another filled it. But Benji was kind of tried it for a while. But Benji was just obnoxious and he was always late to the show and the fans hated him. But Ari was late to the show. Imagine blowing that opportunity. He was late to the show and he would come in late and he'd get these like he would be dressed down.

Like, don't you know the opportunity that i'm giving you you're late here you've shown up late and the fans would call him and shit on him and shit on him and shit on him he'd be late again the next week and that happened like six times not exaggerating until the point where it's like all right benji's not allowed in the studio anymore a thing about stern laid out there i could never tell where the show started and stopped right because yeah they would argue with each other. It would seem genuinely mad. They'd be pissed off, sniping, hurting each other's feelings.

They go to commercial break. And I think they might all be like, you know what? That was some good content. You know? Fist bumps all around. Sometimes. Sometimes. I'm sure it's like that.

But yeah, Artie was the best at that position. Artie was very funny. On the fly, like quick-witted stuff that added to the things. And he was also... Howard can't be mean because then he's the bad guy. So Howard has to be... So if something... If he's having

someone like... So Howard wouldn't be mean to callers and stuff? No. Howard's... Unless they're so funny about ONA. No, no, no. See, Howard lets someone else do that, and he's the voice of reason. So someone could be in the studio like, I can't think of a good example, but hurting themselves essentially.

Like how many needles can you stick in your dick or something like that or just tasing themselves or something awful. And Howard will be over there going, no, no, no it's enough arty's the guy who's like do it more do it more and arty's the guy we're like the porn star i'll be like you know my my my dad you know he touched me when i was a i was a little kid i was like oh, lucky guy! Artie's the guy who's just a dirty, mean motherfucker. He's laughing at these women to their face. Was he the funniest one on the show?

Oh yeah, by far. By far. 100%. Fred's very funny to me. Fred is probably the smartest guy on the show. Fred's a literal genius. He does come off as smart. They used to play a game called Win Fred's Money. Where the contestant comes in and they'd have different things you win or lose from doing this

but let's just say there's five thousand dollars up for grabs come on in uh first your girlfriend is going to get naked behind that shower curtain over there if you lose we press this button and the shower curtain drops and we all get to see you're completely naked you're going to answer five questions you have you know 90 seconds to do so you can skip if you want you can go back if you want we're going to put fred in the isolation booth go guy will try to answer five questions all right you got three fred's going to come in and it'll be like mussolini was ex was executed and drugged through the streets in what city and it's like i i rome milan i i don't know name an italian city i don't fucking know right fred fred knows it fred fucking knows this shit

it's like um which french painter did i don't know which uh which artist uh did made the did um what was the the sculpture it was the answer wasin. I didn't know it was Rodin! It's like all of this really... My answer was going to be Da Vinci, because he's the only one I know. Well, he's Italian! It was all of the... Mine was going to be Vigo, the sculptor. That kind of thing.

So it was always... I have some Ghostbusters, too. So it was always like... It was like the hard Jeopardy questions, essentially. Each question is like that. And Fred busters too so it was always like it was like the the hard jeopardy questions essentially like each question is like that like like um and fred would get four out of five five out of five sometimes like fred's always on the money with this shit just owning these people a lot of these women are getting naked they almost always end up getting naked uh they had to introduce the shower curtain with the button to like make it drop add a little bit of tech to the show because

this one chick uh she's in the bathroom naked, and they take her clothes away. She has no clothes in the bathroom. So she gets toilet paper and makes a bikini out of it and runs out of the studio in her toilet paper bikini. They're like, ah, that bitch! No more toilet paper! That bitch outsmarted us. So from from then forward they're like all right you're gonna get naked in this room like like baba booey's gonna put you inside the isolation curtain and if you you know if you lose we're dropping that curtain with this button over here that's a fun

thing yeah i liked about stern was his interviewing skills stern would get someone on there like britney spears who seems like an empty vessel right but then you get Stern talking to her about the right topics and suddenly she has something to say and she's kind of interesting and she would get he would get a lot of people to talk about their sex lives that probably don't

normally and yeah yeah I like the I like the filth I like the absolute filth I liked when he would make like people do incestuous stuff to win money. What was the worst incestuous shit? He definitely had the father there with the daughter watching her get naked and talk about her sex life. Some tit she's got there, huh, Dad?

He's like, they're pretty nice. He'd have a brother and sister combo there, and he'd be trying to get the brother to grab the titty. All kinds of fucked up shit. Just real fucked up shit. Seems like most of their fucked up shit in Stern seems to be sex-related. Sex-related or mentally handicapped individuals.

Well, that's always a classic. I love it. I love Wendy the Retard, who's now known as wendy the slow adult because of politically correct uh they actually call her wendy the slow adult instead of wendy the retard now yeah yeah and uh and and instead of gary the retard he's gary the champion now gary the champion is the one they sent to the moon in a cardboard box one time and yeah you told us about that he got afraid on the moon they had to bring it back real quick.

He was going to cry. Who is retarded if not the man afraid of a moon box? Bigfoot is probably one of my favorite whack packers. He's this really tall, very slow-witted man who talks about all these debaucherous things he does. He's like a would guess like a like a he's like a forrest gump level intelligence like you can have a conversation with him it just won't make much sense it's just it's kind of weird like talking to him he's like you've been getting laid bigfoot oh i've been getting laid it is i got a lot of blow jobs you're getting blow jobs yeah

yeah i've been paying a lot that's jesse ventura i've been paying a lot of whores You were getting blowjobs? Yeah, yeah. Sounds like a retarded Jesse Ventura. I've been paying a lot of whores. What do you pay these whores? Oh, I pay them whatever they want it is. Well, what's the most you ever paid? Well, I fucked Melanie the other day. She doesn't mind me telling you guys I fucked her. That's what a whore she is.

I gave her a laptop. Okay, I just paid her with the laptop but i didn't have to pay for it because i had it it is he ends every sentence with it is like that like it is like like every sentence he says but he's got all these just disgusting first of all his cock is enormous it seems um he they got a porn star to fuck him and i've seen the video it's pretty disgusting like like he was dating a transsexual woman for a while and she was not passable but he's like retarded so like he's yeah she's a woman it is and she's telling all these disgusting stories about like she passed out on the couch and someone stuck a tampon in her asshole and it messed up her asshole.

And like, yeah, yeah. She didn't know the tampon was in her asshole and it did something bad to her asshole. I don't know. Well, that's unfortunate. Dude, if you wake up and you don't realize something's in your ass, you need to reevaluate your relationship with your ass.

Yeah, we do a lot of drugs. And they do this in-depth reporting where they'll have John Hind, who seems like an investigative reporter, he'll go embedded with the whack pack. So he'll go and live with one of these whack packers and hang out with them for two days

and see just the horrible system that our country is in where these piece of shit, mentally handicapped individuals have like assistants who live with them who are paid by the the government and then like the assistant will get lazy and get their own assistant and so and the assistant will like refuse to leave like bigfoot's so at one point he he's living in this filthy apartment filled with garbage

and refuse and drugs. The government's giving him enough money to buy his drugs and be wasted all the time. Fuck his transsexual girlfriend. I say assistant, but I mean a helper,

like a servant, like a handicapped assistant that the government gives you when you, you can't take care of yourself. And then that person, I guess, realized that, Hey, this is a pretty good gig you guys got going on. I'm just going to move on in. And they can't get the, they can have a guy squatting in their squalid apartment and gets his own assistant. It, you can't make this shit up some of the ridiculousness. And then there's, there's, there's Jeff, the drunk, who's got a dead arm like like he's got he's literally got a dead arm that doesn't work that's in a

sling all the time and he's wasted continuously they made him play ping pong with his dead arm one time against another guy would like how do you do well the his competitor also had like a dead arm or something like that so they're just flailing their dead arms at the ping pong balls playing back and forth. It's a fucking shit show. I'll have to listen to Older Stern then and get a better feel. I could link you some of my favorites. The alcoholic from the

ONA Whack Packer, Lady Di, was such a bad one that on her last appearance she had total wet brain where she'd gone insane. It's like alcoholics who like drink so so much for so long that like they go pretty much retarded yeah and like stay that way yeah like you fuck and like this is a woman like they'd call like in like recent like in 2002 i think like

is when their relationship kind of like budded where she was like die are you yeah looking for a job she'd be like well yeah yeah i'm looking for a job yeah i'm looking for a job definitely looking for a job and then like this clips from like 2015 they're like die you haven't had a job in 14 years she's like i'm looking i'm looking i'm definitely looking for a job definitely looking she stayed with a guy and just provided like sexual favors to this other fat alcoholic to stay in a living space. But in like the last call, they were like, Di, how are you doing? This was like 2014, like a couple months before Anth got fired.

And she was like, oh, doing good, good, doing real good, doing good. Just on a ship. Just on a ship. And I'm like, you're on a ship? Really? What ship are you on? She's like, I don't know the name. I went back in the Navy.

Yeah, I went back in the Navy. It's been a lot of fun. I like it so far.'re in the navy you're in the navy now do you know where you're you're you're docked what are you doing for the navy and like she's clearly in an assisted living like ruined your brain home and it was like the only time when they like kind of fucked with die where they stopped early on where they're like, oh no. This person is not with it at all anymore. But Lady Di's internship is one of the funniest segments.

Wasn't she vomiting or something? She'd go through alcohol withdrawals every morning and so she'd be at the studio sipping her natty ice or whatever and then she'd have to go vomit and have to go poop. They had to make a rule, like, two days into her internship that she couldn't use

any bathroom in the SiriusXM building anymore because she had blown out and ruined the women's room already. Where, like, Sam would be like, yeah, and she didn't flush. She just left it all in there. And they even told her, like, die. If you have to vomit again, where are you going to do it? She's like, in the sink. No no not in the sink again i'm sorry i'm in the toilet

in the toilet why don't you vomit in the toilet well no no totally the toilets are for pooping toilets are for pooping and then like she like apparently like give like big alcoholic vomits and then just leave it simmering in the fucking sink and so sam would have to take her down borderline on a leash and walk her into across the street starbucks christ yeah that was a that's a really really funny series of things yeah i've watched that the whole internship series but i i gotta say like you watch if you watch like they did this thing one time on stern where i don't remember the dollar amount but they always they could always come with five grand it seemed to make someone do a horrible thing and this lady was gonna win let's just call with five grand, it seemed, to make someone do a horrible thing. And this lady was going to win,

let's just call it five grand, to stay handcuffed with Jets the Drunk for 24, 48 hours, something like that. She couldn't do it. She couldn't do it. She was crying. She was crying. At one point, he was passed out in the street, in

a street in New York, laying there, going, pick me up and the cameraman's like i'm a fucking cameraman you piece of shit i can't pick you up i'm operating a camera pick me up you piece of shit and the lady's like get up get up get up he's you know he's shitting he's doing all the things that he does and she is handcuffed with him it's not one of those handcuffs with like a long chain they are fucking wrist to wrist with this with this drunk piece of shit and he'll pass out sometimes for six hours like she couldn't handle it she couldn't she was crying when it was over she was crying

man if you're like six hours into that ten hours into that you just gotta forge your head like you're already it looked excruciating like like i for i don't think i could do it either for five grand like like sleeping with him and like him shitting and and especially if you're one day i'll do that for five grand fuck you gotta you gotta see this guy like it watch i'll link you the video later like the whole thing's documented that's the best part this is back when e was part of the show and they were documenting everything they still video everything and they have like an app where like the videos go up on and stuff but but i don't know when when e was on like i'd stay up late and watch that shit it was like a the they condensed a four-hour broadcast into 22 minutes of e i used to stay up and watch that too and it was yeah that was back before you could

just choose what time you watch things. It came on. You'd have to catch it. Yeah. There was a longer one too. I think it showed the whole show. Like you said, they condense it. Good stuff. It's good shit, man. I'm telling you, those Whack Packers are great. It's not as good

now, though. The Whack Pack seems phony to me at this point. Most of them aren't actually troubled individuals. It seems like a lot of them kind of have their lives together in some way or another. Or they're like, their association with the show has garnered them some sort of

a path in life that's much less resistance than it would be when they were just struggling to be ruined individuals you know like like it seems like even beetlejuice you can rent beetlejuice online we can get them on here if we wanted to if you want a little midget with zika virus head to like talk crazy for half an hour does he a cent he has the same thing that zika virus causes he has that that micro head that shaped like a cone um and he's extremely diminished uh uh but but he you know he's doing well like he's got money from from being i wouldn't trade no no no i mean although taylor he must be thinking like if we

could combine forces and have a normal-sized head. I'm just saying he's got more money than you would expect a tiny black midget with a cone-shaped head to have. I'm not saying he's a wealthy man or anything like that. And even, it seems like Wendy the retard isn't that retarded. She seems like she's kind of in on the joke most of the time. High-pitched Eric. Not that high-pitched.

I hate high-pitched Eric. I hate him so much. I wish he'd die. I hate him so much. He's just a character, I feel like. And he's a scumbag at that. He's just a piece of shit. I hate that guy so much.

I was sad when he started losing weight. He got the surgery, the weight loss surgery. Did he gain any back? I think he's gone up and down a little bit. But one point he was like up in the high fours so so i think he's down into the threes or something now like he was walking with a cane and shit fuck him i wish he was dead you want to transition off howard talker yeah yeah for sure anybody watch the super bowl i did it was a real snooze fest. It put me right to sleep. I didn't watch it, but I saw the clip afterward that made me laugh where like some reporter was asking a Rams player where it was like, how do you feel about, you know, this, that, and the other thing? He's like,

you know, at the end of the day, we're all going to die. What's his take about losing the Super Bowl? Somebody, there was a defensive battle in the Super Bowl, and I think it was 3-0 in the third quarter. No one was scoring. My favorite quote was, these guys are playing like there's just some Big Macs in the White House for the winner. I saw that.

These guys are playing like they know they have to go to the White House if they win. It was a fucking snooze fest it really was um i was glad brady won they got the sixth fucking championship yeah i'm glad they didn't win my thing is this i like to live in an era of greatness like like i saw jordan play tom brady is playing right now you know i don't know you saw gretzky gretzky yeah i remember when he retired um i just happened to watch it like i wasn't totally into hockey at the time but it was his last game he's playing with the rangers people

were in tears talking about it at school the next day like you know i was crying my dad was crying like a great one which is his last game gretzky might have been crying i don't know but it it uh it was a cool thing so you know like it's neat to see brady have one more super bowls i agree anybody else if the rams won it'd be just not just one more than everybody else two more than anyone else it's no another guy has five more than any other quarterback. Quarterback, which is what I think you should compare it to. That makes sense, yeah.

Like the forehead was saying last week, there's some defensive end who bounced around and got himself five. Found his way onto every winning team. But Brady led his team to six Super Bowls. The quarterback is the most important position. There's probably no other sport where one individual player is so key to, and I know not in this most recent Super Bowl.

I've seen people say that they won in spite of him. He threw that fucking touchdown pass. Okay, he won the fucking game. So did the other team lose in spite of their quarterback that scored even fewer points? They definitely did. That guy sucked.

Peyton Manning admits he gets carried. I've seen him do that. Not early, but later in his career. His last game, I think he won the Super Bowl with the Broncos. He was carried in that one. I'm a big Peyton Manning fan. He makes jokes about it. That's cool. Is Tom Brady going to

retire anytime soon? He's got to be like 42 or something. Dude, it'd be so nice to retire on top if you're Tom Brady. Fucking knock another one out, Tom. Get seven. He's 41 years old. One of the knocks on this team is that they're too old. I guess not too old, but it just makes me think like less likely to repeat than say. They couldn't find anyone to beat them, but they're too old and tom brady's not any good anymore they won the fucking super

bowl do it again i think gronk might retire i keep seeing that he might have retired last year for a place and what's it's not like there's if you're in the nfl and and you you care about like your your people might play for a discount you know to be exactly that's what i was going to say like like it like you know you make that case like hey this might be the this is the michael jordan a fucking football he's got one more year left you want to hop on board and be part of this historic super bowl win because we're going to the super bowl this year we go every other year to the Super Bowl. Every other year.

And we almost win it. You have a 50-50 chance of going to the Super Bowl if you join the Patriots. And you have like a 1 in 32 with the other teams. And you've got a 40% chance of winning the Super Bowl. Like we go every other year and we win about 70% of them. You want to come? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don you want to come yeah yeah yeah you don't be Dan Murray did Dan Marino ever win a Super Bowl I don't think so no he didn't you know wait like come on we have football didn't you play for the

Dolphins he did and he was also an ace Ventura yes that's how that's what I know him from I just think it's neat when someone really achieves legend status. There was a time when he had just won one or two Super Bowls that people felt like he was just a regular quarterback on a great team. That has to be settled now. No one says that anymore. I remember in like 2005 or something like that, maybe 2006. I like the Colts, but I really liked Peyton Manning.

I really liked Peyton Manning, and what I admired about Peyton Manning was he seemed to do something that no other quarterback in the game did, and that was read the defense like a genius. He would get back there and he'd be like, change of plans everyone code 37 uh i've read something in the defense uh code 37 and everybody be like that's right boss code 37 and they'd all shuffle around they do a different thing and he'd just throw a real quick pass across the middle and it for 15 yards it's like oh shit he saw that blitz coming he knew

he did that in the super bowl this most recent one. I saw a clip where he was called an audible or whatever. I think that might have been. He decided to change the play. Oh, wait. Or maybe when he was like, Reagan, Reagan, screaming that, and all that Reagan meant was sweep right. Are you talking about Brady now? Yeah, Brady. Okay.

Well, I'm talking about Peyton Manning. Peyton Manning was the guy for that. And I didn't know much about football then. I don't know much about it now. But I really liked what I was seeing when he would do that sort of thing. It felt like there was a whole other dimension of the game that this guy was playing that others weren't. He would look at the defense and he'd see something and he'd call an audible. And the whole offense would change plans and it would work.

But he would have to fucking play Tom Brady. He'd have to play tom brady and it was rough going i don't remember his exact record record against brady i'm sure he won a few i know he won a super bowl or two but god damn i i just remember so many so many big games like that were for the championship or for you know moving up to that next round of the playoffs and it just like oh this isn't gonna go well to go well. It's the Patriots. It seems like a lot of the championships, like didn't the Patriots benefit from the tuck rule?

Am I crazy about that? Didn't they benefit from the non-call? Am I? No, that was the other side. That was the Saints. I don't know what the tuck rule is. Yeah, I don't know what that is. It was a big controversy.

I think it was whether or not a guy was tackled or roughed. Oh, yeah, I don't know anything about that. If you were to look at it through a normal person's lens, like that was not a tackle or maybe it was a fumble. But if you look at it through the official rule book, through a proper interpretation, it just didn't make logic sense. I forget. It's been a while, the tuck rule.

Yeah. In any case. The Flyers are on an eight-game win streak, Taylor. We are making a run at a bad draft pick. I think the Flyers are ahead of us right now. I'm sure. We're the hottest team in the NHL. We, because, you know, it's primarily me.

Yes. Actually, no. The Blues and the Flyers have almost exactly the same record. The Flyers are 24-23-7. The Blues are 25-22-5. Those numbers came really quickly to me. Who has more points? They both have 55 points.

It's just the Flyers have a couple more overtime losses and the Blues have one more win. So a couple of Titans duking it out there. Yeah, we fucking suck, Dick. And I just know that we're due for a big useless meaningless win streak and so but then again we might be the la kings is this is your season still going i thought it was over like hockey's still being played it is it's the same as the players lost a game for the last 10 we're eight one and one we got an eight game winning streak

and uh they're looking at playoff spots now and we're seven two and one we're 8-1-1. We got an 8-game winning streak. And they're looking at playoff spots now. We're 7-2-1. We're doing alright. We've won four in a row. Man. Yeah, you guys are stupid too. We should just fucking lose. I'd so much rather get a good draft pick. We're not going to make it far into the fucking playoffs no matter what. We're going to get butt-fucked

by Nashville. We're not going to make it to the playoffs. We are going to be interesting at the end of the year and not make it. Yeah, I'd rather just really, really suck dick. We shut out the best team in the league tonight. Why? Why be the first? I think this is the first.

Yeah, this is the first game the Tampa Bay Lightning have been shut out in the entire season, and it's against the fucking Blues in a useless game. So that stinks. Kyle, you're just riveted right now i'm on cnn now yeah on the hockey the sports section reading no i saw this article that's titled how 19 claims trump made during the state of the union check out and it's on cnn politics oh i was laughing like i saw some of those fact check things and I was imagining if like you know how he spent a long time on

The Holocaust and World War two and stuff. Yeah, okay Where I was imagining like CNN being like Trump made a lot of claims about the Holocaust including six million deaths We've decided to fact-check this See what and they like to bring up diagrams and string and they like hate Trump so much. They just become And they hate Trump so much they just become Holocaust deniers. That would be the funniest fucking thing. They're just like, did you really hate him enough that you're denying the Holocaust on TV? Well, we need to fact check.

We are the keepers of truth in America. Yeah, I didn't watch the whole thing. It seemed boring. I watched the clips. I watched it like I used to watch on... What the hell was it? Roku no what was the old like the first DVR

it's really popular people loved it TiVo is what I'm thinking of so I let it delay and then on YouTube the back and forward arrows go five seconds and I just skip all the clapping that was how I watched it that's a good way to do it because it was probably like a third of it was clapping, I would bet.

That's about right. There's a lot of clapping in the State of the Union. I did see everybody dressed in white there, and they didn't stand up for like the, this kid has cancer, and now he does it. And they're like, we caught a lot of child sex rapists on the border. We caught a lot

of folks, about to say it, all of them. That's why we need to be careful. We caught a lot. They're sitting there like stone-faced most of them like and then he's like also a lot of wibbit of politics now we got to give it up for the wibbit out there whatever the fuck he said and like and they like sit down for a while and you can see him like whispering like is this okay and then like a couple stand up and they start like dancing like it's a fucking bunch of like 41 year old women at a vibrator party or something and it's just the most embarrassing thing to watch like and then uh cortez does like a really funny thing where she like high fives the air to no one no one receives it she just does that that made me

laugh so yeah i think kyle came in pretty correct with this based on people's like reception of the state of the union because most people seem to like it. It was really mixed. I keep seeing it called the Jekyll and Hyde State of the Union, because half of it was a call for bipartisism, and then half of it was like, stop investigating me, stop doing this stuff. Really,

not a call for bipartisism. I can't say the word. Bipartisanship. If you say it like a fancy, it's much easier. Yeah, yeah. The takeaway I saw, oh, and by the way, I thought he was going to get nailed

on fact-checking and not so much. As a matter of fact, the fact-checkers took a little heat. You dropped there for a second. You thought he was going to what? Get nailed on fact-checking. That they were going to,

like he was going to say a lot of things that didn't hold up. And it was almost like they jumped the gun. One in particular, I think he said unemployment dropped by a third or something like that and they're like incorrect it was actually 31 oh shut up you know i found one that was like one of the fact checks that was super

funny let me i mean that's the whole point of this article right here it's like here's 19 things trump said that checked out yeah yeah because trump look he really does lie a lot right he lies more than other politicians and i think that that's widely accepted but in the state of the union he backed off a bit from that npr politics fact checked him it says fact check president trump praised the record number of women in congress but that's almost entirely because of the democrats not trump's party i didn't think that fact check. Well it came to me. That's true. But he came off like he was bragging about his accomplishment.

To get women in Congress. He said something correct. And they fact checked him. And added their own editorial to it. That's not a fact check. That's an editorial. To say what he said was true. But I don't like the way he said it.

Because I'm drawing connections here. That's not a fact i don't like the way he said it because i i'm drawing connections here like that that's not a fact check he didn't say he did it he hired if you watch it that was clearly the implication like you know maybe he's right thanks to me there are more women in congress than there ever have been before but he didn't say that and they fact check something that didn't happen but if you saw I swear, that's how it came across. Like, that was one of his accomplishments in his first two years. He got more women in Congress than he ever has before. Well, you'd have to be pretty sure.

He didn't say he got more there, I don't believe. Yeah, I don't think any of the viewers were like, really, did Trump hire those women congressmen from the other party? I didn't know that's how that worked. Of course he wouldn't hire them. They voted in. No, no, he just took credit for it. He must have voted in. No, no. He just took credit for it. He must have hired them.

I don't know. He took credit for it. That's what the fact check is getting at. You know, really, the Democrats. I think that's editorial stretching. And I think it's obviously editorial stretching. Like, he said something that was true. I think it was countering his stretching,

is what they were trying to get at. But he didn't stretch. He did. He said a fact. He said that there are more women in Congress than ever, and they dislike him so much that they're like, oh, well, we're going to add our own. But it's not because of him. And it's like, well, no shit. Like, not everything he's saying is because of him.

That was what he was getting at, though. Yeah. I mean, you can. He's trying to bump his numbers and, like, make himself look good for sure. Yeah. But that's like just basic politicking. You're going to take credit for anything good that's going on, or at least try and phrase it that way.

ISIS is being fought off. Is he trying to say that he's been fighting ISIS on the front lines? Fact check. President Trump not only does not serve in the U.S. military, but he never did. Because he has bone spurs. He's a lying coward, in fact. has bone spurs he's a lying coward in fact he is bone spurs the thing yeah he got his podiatrist to say that he had bone

spurs maybe he does though right I didn't know hydra's bragged in public that he hooked up Trump with a favor. Which war was he getting out of? Vietnam. That's important. Fuck it! I'd shoot myself in the foot before I go over there and fight in that jungle. Oh, I would much rather shoot myself in the foot than go to Vietnam.

At least in World War II, you'd come back and he would be like, yeah, heroes returning home in Vietnam. He gave the Jerrys what's called. It would be like, that was horrible and I'm traumatized for life and I fought three times as much throughout the year than World War II people did. I can't wait to get home to my own people and feel happy.

And they're like, fuck you, you fascist. Vietnam's a tough spot. That would be the worst. Vietnam is rough and people didn't like Vietnam. That's at first and that sucked. But if you're going to be commander in chief and you're also like a draft dodger then you know that's it's not good oh that's totally fair yeah i doubt he had bone spurs

like that he didn't like is that a thing that he doesn't know which foot it is he should go it was both of them it was terrible but i had bone spurs on my hands yeah they asked him which foot it was he's like ah you have to go look it up you know that's a common thing you forget ailments it's serious yeah i don't know which leg i broke is bone spurs that serious or is it kind of like flat footedness because i remember my great i think it can be painful to walk on like my great grandpa got turned down from the service because he had flat feet and that was one of like the things they would turn you down for and he was just like devastated because that was world war ii yeah like everybody else was going and he like he hated that he couldn't go to i don't know if it's true but um when i was in high school we heard that iraq was the first iraq war was happening and everyone was like is there going to be a draft

because there hadn't really been a big war since vietnam and there was a draft so and i'm literally 18 like the people you call up and i heard that bacne gets you out of it it was like oh you lucky bitches you know you and your bacne uh if you really want out of it ted nugent do something where he shat all over himself and like used to change his clothes for days yes if you really want out, kids, take yourself a gum wrapper and swallow that aluminum foil. It'll give you quite the ulcer. I've never heard that. Yeah, I feel like Ted Nugent should take way

more crap than he does for that move. Why? Wasn't it Vietnam again? It was Vietnam, but that's so long ago that it's passed out of memory to most people. Fuck that. Do whatever you do. That's not cowardice. Fuck this stupid lie of a war. It's absolutely cowardice.

What do you think his motivation was? You think he was a... Aren't you brave enough to go fight the generals of Vietnam? I don't think he was a conscientious objector. I think he was scared to death. I think he was smart enough not to go fight in the fucking jungle in a war that

meant nothing for that that came to nothing there was a loss no no fuck that war i wouldn't fight the war either that is the main war i wouldn't want to fight in like especially with hindsight being there it's like what was more useless than that like what's more useless than vietnam go on youtube other than our current middle eastern i didn't want to say it but i was thinking it too like i can't now our current ones don't have the same death rate i don't know what the death rates are but it seems like most of the people that go to these deserts in the war i'm sorry wars in the deserts come back alive but i i don't know that they're making any impact.

Not fighting that fucking war. There were 58,220 American casualties in Vietnam. So quite a bit bigger, I think. Or how many total casualties? Way bigger. I just don't know how many people we sent. It's the ratio I'm most concerned in. We've lost like 8,000 in the Middle East

over the course of a dozen years or something. 4,424, it looks like, from 2001 to 2016 in the Iraq War. I looked it up. Just because it's a smaller scale doesn't mean that it's still not a goddamn shame that people are dying in a war that doesn't serve their interests at all. I think the ratio, it was more deadly to be a logger than it was to fight in Iraq. Logger's like the riskiest job. That's why I picked it, yeah. I mean, I was just like, take your pick.

You want to go home to your wife every night and be a logger? Would you like to shit in the desert for eight months and get shot at for very low pay? You'd probably make better money as a logger. You'd make probably make better money as a logger. You make a lot better money as a logger. How much do loggers make? That's a good question. I don't know that they're...

You guys act like loggers are making it big. Loggers are making it big. Loggers are spoiled. It says they earn a mean $20 per hour, meaning $42,000 a year. I think soldiers might make more. It's hard to calculate soldier pay because it's like untaxed

and then they get paid for their place to live and they get meal allowances and they get a lot of shit that's not money. So it's like, I'm only making $19,000 a year. Oh, but of course I don't have to pay for my housing, my medical care, my this, my that, my other thing.

And a lot of your expenses later in life are cheaper because you were a part of the military. I'm not saying that. You can get those same discounts if you just buy the uniform off the internet. Instead of that, I'm just going to join AAA. Dude, I bought something small with a friend of mine at AutoZone

who's an active military not long ago. And he didn't even do the discount. He's like, it's such a pain in the ass it's basically like ringing up twice because they verify that your ID and everything so you can't just buy a uniform turns out that's what you have to do every time at AutoZone you go do you have a military discount and they go uh yes let me see your your. And you go, I was just curious. For the next time I come back, wearing my blues. I need a carburetor.

Dress me as Corporal. Corporal Lance Taylor, right? Yeah, Lance Corporal Taylor. That's what it is. He gets discounts on his fucking carburetors and windshield wipers at AutoZone. What's the least big purchase you think you can get a military discount on?

Like if you tried to flaunt that at Subway. Yeah, because you get a discount at Starbucks. You get a discount at tons of places. Well, Starbucks is expensive. That's a big deal. I can get way cheaper shit at AutoZone. $4. I built this stuff for less

than a bucket auto zone by the register you're really pulling your fucking card out to buy a keychain then shame on you sir this 80 keychain i want it for 65 cents all right freedom don't come free motherfucker ring it up i'm sorry, Officer Rosenblatt. We can't do that. That was the situation. I think we were buying a spark plug. He was like, this is not worth the long checkout. Not at all.

I know hotel rooms was one that I've always experienced that discount on. You get quite the discount on hotel rooms. Yeah, you do, but how do you get it? They don't verify there, I guess? Military ID. You show them your military ID. So you're sleeping with a dude there. I get it. I was confused.

Nice. That's really progressive of you. Traveling with military personnel. Kyle, I didn't realize you were so open-minded. Don't ask, don't tell. That is what that means i mean would you be a gay billionaire's fun little uh pool boy scenario i would be his blood donor for 50 grand a month have you heard that the blood donor thing is real i don't know what you're referring to the blood not letting homosexuals donate blood no they are literally taking blood donations from young men and putting

them in older wealthy men as a like anti-aging technique and uh joe rogan had an anti-aging expert on and he's like does it work and basically like i'm gonna paraphrase but he said yes it works but it's not the best way and he's like i think that we'll start identifying like better ways to prevent aging you want to drink it ideally like you know like a make a chemical change in the guy instead of just getting blood out of him. Oh, you want to be very afraid. That matters. What does it do for you? Does it make you less fatigued? I don't even know, right? But I just have to imagine that a younger man's blood

has all the good shit in it. Like your testosterone level is higher, right? Is that not in your blood? If I gave you half my blood and you gave me half yours, would our T levels not just meet in the middle, right? Where is the T exactly if not in your blood? If you gave me half, if we just, if I gave you half my blood and you gave me half yours, would our T levels not just meet in the middle, right? Where is the T exactly if not in the blood? You know, is your insulin level lower?

Have you been working hard to increase your red blood cell count? Because I want some of that shit. Bring it here, Taylor. Like, there has to be a lot of great shit in young, healthy blood. We need to start blood farms. Where in the world are people the fittest naturally? Netherlands? We need the Netherlands

or just like... We want the non-AIDS. Oh yeah, let me get some of that African blood. You know... No risk, no reward, Kyle. I wasn't thinking about that. I will give you all of my blood.

You gotta roll the dice on this if you want ace number one blood. You might get a runner. You might get a victim. You just suddenly have a lot of stamina with your Kenyan blood. That'd be cool. I have no immune system.

You now have a sickle cell. The only white man with a sickle cell on the planet. Apparently, sickle cell is good for some people in Africa because it makes it so you can't contract malaria. And so it's almost an adaptation. It is. I know there's other problems with sickle cell for clotting, but if it's between clotting and fucking malaria,

I think you go with the risk of clotting how bad is malaria does it it's really kill you yeah it's definitely going to kill you yes you know unless i question that i feel like a lot of people survive malaria i think a few people survive you will die all of my children die. Malaria kills a child every 30 seconds. Yes. Oh, a million a year. That's actually way less than I thought. How deadly is malaria? Let's see.

How many people died of malaria? You will tremble until your bones break. Huh. I guess they're... This isn't nearly as many people as I was imagining. I mean, they get treatment for it now. You want to be in the jungle with malaria? No, I don't want to be in the jungle with malaria.

I just had this idea that it was like... Oh, AIDS slash HIV AIDS is the biggest killer in Africa by a large margin with 122 deaths per 100,000 people. Yeah, you don't want that there's more people with HIV and AIDS than malaria at this point in time apparently well that would make sense

because there's no cure for HIV but malaria comes and goes right no there is a cure you just need two hundred thousand dollars cash or the blood of a white man then you may check his head for gold yeah i can't prove that young people's blood would make you younger but it just seems like there'd be a lot of good shit in it i can tell you it definitely doesn't make you younger but like it's gonna make you i want to with you it's not gonna anti-age but like if young woody's blood like i was working out four or six hours a day during the season that had to be some good shit yeah that would be a cool like billionaire thing like you know you see those things in movies where it's like a bunch of billionaires sitting behind like kind of obscure

glass and there's something in the middle and they're like a hexagon and they're watching a woman strip and they're bidding because they want to either fuck her or cut her hands off and they're like island estate. That, but you get world class athletes in there and you bid on liters of blood. And then once you've collected enough blood,

you can have elite athlete blood. You know Silicon Valley on the HBO? That's one of their specials. Yeah, Gavin something mclean declared he uh he gets blood from a young person in that show so i didn't realize it was based on truth though i thought they came up with it yeah i didn't either bitcoin oh before we jump to bitcoin is uh there anything you need to tell us about, Kyle? No. Did we do a four?

I think we might have. Yep. Dude, so this guy had $190 million worth of Bitcoin in cold storage. But cold storage means it's offline. If you don't know, Bitcoin's kind of untrackable. It's kind of like cash, right? If I take your Bitcoin, then suddenly it's offline. If you don't know, Bitcoin's kind of untrackable. It's kind of like cash, right? If I take your Bitcoin, then suddenly it's mine. It's not like it's in a bank where we can be like, oh, look, it was transferred from Taylor's account to Woody.

We'll put it back. No, it's just like cash. Just gone. So what people can do to keep it safe, because if you have it in an online account, people hack it and it happens. And they really steal your money and you can lose a lot. $190 million in cold storage think of it as a usb drive in a vault literally anyway this guy that had the decryption code died and 190 million dollars worth of bitcoin appears to be unrecoverable yep dude. Dude. Saw that. That's a real problem. I like to imagine that it was so diversified

that like a million people all lost $190. But you know that the fact is that several people lost millions of dollars. Yes. And I don't know this for sure, but I feel like the kind of person that has millions in Bitcoin doesn't have millions all over the place. Like if you lose $3 million in Bitcoin, you've lost 90% of your net worth, I think.

Maybe, maybe. Someone did. I'd love to hear the anecdotal case-by-case sort of thing, like the people making complaints against this. That's fucked i i read that oh my god so is bitcoin ending up to be like like kind of that same model as like the tulip boom i i want to say i read that there were more transactions last month than there were this time last year and the year before i i don't know enough about crypto to say anything but it doesn't seem like it's... It seems like it has a purpose. It seems like there are definitely instances

where cryptocurrency in general fit the model really well. Oh, man, it's plummeting. Yeah, it's much lower than it was. It's at $3,361. Yeah, it's been floating around there for months now, like around three or four grand. But Jesus, that guy dying and $190 million just evaporating essentially, that's way more crazy than that one guy in England

who lost his hard drive with a couple mil on it. People don't know, he literally had the password in his head not written down anywhere. And when he died, that's how it went. Like, it's just gone now. God, you gotta tell somebody, right? It's gone down almost 50% since November 11th.

I feel like if I've got that password, and I'm imagining the password is literally like a word number sequence, like it's like zebra 7474R. I tell Woody it's zebra. I'm like, hey, you have half the password you will if i ever die you meet my lawyer and you give that to him and then i go tell taylor all right it's 7575 r if i ever die you go to my lawyer and you give him your half of the fucking sequence

why didn't he do that why didn't he do exactly that how old was his lawyer no I would have called your lawyer and we would have hired an assassin oh Woody perfect bring the pliers fucking sucks you just know that so many people have lost all of the money they have in Bitcoin. And that really blows. I don't know if it was Bitcoin in particular or some other cryptocurrency that the $190 million was

lost in. This article says it's all Bitcoin. Okay. Yeah. Alright. That's fucked. That's fucked. It's such a bizarre thing. It's so bizarre that he didn't have one of the issues with bitcoin to me is the infrastructure around it i hate that it takes days to make a trade i hate that it's over it's fast now oh okay when i did it last year it took days to make a

trade and they would only let me buy five grand like i had to prove my Bitcoin enthusiasm first. GE doesn't do that. Microsoft is like, listen, Kyle, we want you to start small. No, they just let you buy it. I didn't understand what the hell they were doing. I don't know about the quantity, but I know that the transactions are much faster now. Well, that's good. I guess I get its purpose, Bitcoin,

like an online anonymous way to buy and sell things, but... It's not the next currency. It's not the next global currency, most likely, but it does have its purpose. Don't make it seem like it's the newest thing to slice bread or whatever, but it's a tool the best things the newest things to slice bread or whatever but it's a new it's a tool in your perhaps in your uh your diversified portfolio of many other things you know it's beats me i don't know i part of the reason i sold bitcoin i actually i think people

know i bought it at eight and sold it at 14 if i remember right yeah so i didn't double but i did well and um i was just like i didn't have confidence that i was actually doing a good thing like i didn't believe in it and you know when i buy companies and stuff i usually think that i've got something smart going on you know like oh this company's solution is going to be the most popular when i feel so good about it this company's service they knock it so out most popular when I feel so good about it. This company's service, they knock it so out of the park. Like, I feel good about these guys. It's smart. And, you know, if you own NVIDIA and you feel like you understand their product better than everyone, it's just clearly the thing to get.

Then that's usually where I am when I invest in something. With Bitcoin, it was the opposite. What's the best example, I guess, in your investing days of you being like i'm so sure this is the ticket this is the guy and then it was like oh dear i have a couple that went well um way back in the dot-com days like i bet on linux and i that was a 10 banger for me with you it wasn't a big investment but i think i put nine in nine hundred in and got nine thousand out um i bet in a indian bank like it just seemed like everything i'm working at cisco india is exploding in my like personal universe everyone i work with is indian everyone's outsourcing to india i'm like how can i bet in india in a? You know, you can't buy shares of a country.

So I just bought one of their bigger banks and that did really well. I'm trying to think of ones that sucked. Those ones are probably harder to recall. Right? I know that I mistimed Apple. It went down on me when I thought it was going to do well. Same with Intel, but they weren't big losses. I've always bought stocks. I don't buy

options. So when a stock does poorly, it usually loses like a quarter. When an option goes poorly, you lose 100% or more. Yeah. I need to get involved in that. I need to start buying companies

or just something like that i like the way that sounds i bought apple i'm a i'm a part owner of apple did you know that apple's tricky like i i don't know that i like their products right now their computers almost make me mad right they haven't had an apple product since college i don't think what's wrong with their computers so their their professional level desktop is literally like i don't know i don't exaggerate is it six years old or something like that's a long time not to update a computer their laptops the keyboard sucks i use one every day and it infuriates me every day their new innovation this like touchpad thing at the top i forget what they call it the strip totally worthless it doesn't do anything for me um the battery life is great i like the operating system but the hardware is just sucking for me the phone's really expensive and

i have one killer app on my phone is related to paramotoring so i'm an odd case but if i wasn't then i think i might switch to android i just don't know why you pay twelve hundred dollars for a phone oh you can't get that app on an android that's right yeah okay and yeah i've had an android for a while like it seems like it's it it does all the things i need to do with the phone like i'm not that i don't fuck around with that much i use a couple apps and then maps and call and text and that that's the extent i don't have any games that i play i don't have any you know i don't know i just i don't see a reason to get an iphone like all my friends are like you need to get an iphone because in our group chats apparently everybody but me has an iphone and so my texts are the only ones that come in green everybody else's is blue and so they'll be like

you fucking poor fag with your green texts. And, but I like it because it means that I, I command attention in our group chat. When I send a joke or something. I've seen a couple of tech reviewers. We're talking about iPhones. I've seen a couple of tech reviewers say that Apple did this masterful thing

and making other people's texts green. Whereas if you're an Apple user, it's blue. That used to be really important to us because Apple would send its texts over like the internet. So back in the day when they first made that change, not everyone had unlimited texts. Now, I feel like that's pretty common, but it was like we'd send whatever, a couple hundred texts over our phone plan but unlimited to other apple users so you really had to know if you were talking to an apple person or

not yeah i didn't know that that makes sense yeah it like it was super like because you know our family and whatever we we all had these teenage kids so they'd be texting like crazy but only if you're an apple user that mattered hmm now it's doesn't really matter but that's how it started you have an iphone don't you kyle hell no you're an android oh yeah we've talked about this you're android too why'd you go android is it because you broke phones you went through a period where phones weren't holding up for you yeah i just have i just usually have bad luck with phones. I recently got this thing. What is this? Fucking Moto something or another?

I don't know. It's a fucking black rectangle, right? It calls people and sends text messages. That's all I care about. I don't get it. I don't get the prestige of having this phone or that phone. I want a black rectangle that sends text messages, looks up Reddit, and runs postmates and whatsapp and uh snapchat and it can do all that and call people and connect to the internet then what the fuck do i care like i don't understand like what the what the brand new

hot off the presses iphone can do that this doesn't. Oh, it's got face recognition? So does this. This was $100, by the way. That was $100? It was $100. Was it literally $100? It was like $100 with a trade-in or a phone plan? It was $200 and $100 of it gets applied directly to the phone bill.

You've switched your phone number so many times. If I type in KY in my phone, it'll pull up Kyle Newsell, Kyle Myers, Kyle. Kyle's new in bold sell. Kyle Myers new. I should probably just delete all the old ones. I'm not 100% sure which one to delete. Or if I want to look it up because we had that text chat,

then I was like, oh, that's like five steps to figure out which one is this the one he's using yeah uh I I kept the same number this time uh just just moved it on over to this phone like this phone doesn't this phone doesn't have a sim card even it's it's like an e-sim that's nice it's I don't know I don't get why I buy the iPhone like maybe maybe someone who's an iPhone user could explain to me what your phone has that mine doesn't. There's one thing that actually means a lot to me. My phone text messaging ties in with my computer's text messaging. It's like Skype almost. Mine too.

I didn't know Android had that. Yeah. With Chromebook. Okay. Well, shucks. So that's a big deal to me that I can... Text messages are the same ecosystem. Everything's tied together. Like I can access my phone from my computer.

If you take that away, I like Apple news. It's what I tend to read in restaurants. I don't know. There's probably an Android equivalent. I use Reddit for everything. I don't love Reddit as much. I'm losing, Reddit's losing me a bit. But the last thing is, there's one paramotor app it's called fly sky high it's a killer and oh it's a reason i can't leave apple doesn't matter anyone else i see where you're going but uh yeah and i don't want to be like the the old dope who

just doesn't get it but it's just like all right well i'm open to to to and not not you personally but you apple people like all right tell me what your phone does that mine doesn't because i'm curious because mine was 100 and yours seems to be 1000 i would almost go the other way i feel like the apple users are the less techie like don't know like don't get it you know they think that they have something that is exclusive when they don't yeah you'll see like i mean i've i don't know shit about the capabilities of my phone, but when I have seen the Android v. Apple, the people who really give a fuck about that, the little debates here and there,

it's usually the Android people who I notice being like, well, you don't even have the flexibility to incorporate XYZ into your hardware and change your software and edit it like this. Can you jailbreak like this without having to blah, blah, blah? And it's like, what are you people doing on your phones?

Yeah. Go to your computer and do that. Like, what are you doing? Someone the other day was like... You're on the dark web ordering prostitutes at Red Robin, you fucking degenerate. Someone the other day was like, Apple's encrypted, not even the FBI can get it.

I was like, what is on my phone that they need to get to? Like, if they want to see my dick, they can just ask, I'll show it to them. Like, there's nothing on my phone. There's no way. He's laund they want to see my dick they can just ask i'll show it to them like like there's nothing there's no way he's laundering money no one spends this much on postmates like you know there's nothing on my phone i'm trying to hide you know it's just it's it's like you give your girlfriend your password i don't have a girlfriend taylor uh no no yeah my wife has my my wife never came up i think no yeah we even have the same one like i don't do anything on my phone other than like i'll look at reddit stuff and go to twitter and then text and call and i think that's it i have like a cup

i have my fitness pal that's probably one of my most used apps is MyFitnessPal on there. Good for you. I use Reddit, WhatsApp. I mean, I just said them. Reddit, WhatsApp, Snapchat, and Postmates. I'm losing interest in Reddit as well, Woody. Yeah. I don't go as deep as you guys.

So if Woody's getting tired of it, you've seen 10 times as much as I have one that I do like recently as I've been going to the serve our slash survival and like reading stuff about like people. Yeah. I ordered a book off of Amazon. Let me see what it was. I can check. I ordered a book off Amazon about like survival techniques and I figured like

I don't have time to go camping all the time, but a lot of this is like just little techniques that you can do like in your own backyard to like get quick with a fire starter or like figure like a fire pit out or like do something like that i mean this in the nicest way possible i hope your car gets stuck in a blizzard someday i think you'd like it i have the i have all my stuff there it's like oh no It just so happens that my knife has a fire starter built into the hammer on the tail end of it. This is what I trained for. Can we just walk to that IHOP?

No! No, we have to build a fire and hunt for rabbits. You know what I'm saying? It's super interesting. I love watching it. I've watched the whole primitive technology or whatever, and there's like a million spin-offs of that now. By spin-off. I've watched the whole primitive technology or whatever, and there's a million spinoffs of that now.

By spinoff, I don't mean worse. Some of them are better. They're very good, but I've been watching more modern-day stuff. If I watch those videos and read shit for the rest of my life and you throw me in the Sahara, I'm dead. It doesn't matter how many fucking beer kills I watched. I might die slowly.

I'm watching the ones where the people have state-of-the-art or at least modern-day gear and they're kind of like, now what you want to do here, make sure you hammer this post in further than you would think because you wouldn't think about it but this creates torque when you're building the table here or whatever the fuck it is. I don't know. It's like one of those things where...

They talk in these videos. They do. They it's like it's always sunny where uh they interview that old woman and they're like well on off days i like to read cookbooks i don't even know how to cook you know and she says like that's what i'm doing i don't know how to survive in the wild but i'm having a lot of fun trying to figure it out you know what i'm doing but haven't done yet i i don't know how to phrase something i haven't done yet sewing like i never got into sewing it was never my thing i i always thought it was like gay or not for guys it's an important survival thing forgive me i'm old but that was like a thing like if you learn to sew in like 1982 you would think that i'll never use this after this class and and that's where I am. What are you, a fag?

Learning to sew, be self-sufficient. The grid goes down and you're going to be fine? Nah, not for me. That's right. Have you been reading my mind? When do you need to sew? If you're in the wilderness and there are two pieces of fabric that need to be put together and you've got string andine, and you need to be able to sew, Kyle.

You need to go back about three seconds in this anecdotal scenario. What are these two fabrics, and why do I need them attached to one another? They're essential. Because they're half the size of a hammock. For so many reasons, I can't begin to list. It's two halves of a hammock. Why don't I just use my hammock? You don't have that.

It's been taken by a... I have half a dozen hammocks in a rucksack. No, no, no. I have cut all your hammocks in half and given you thread and needles. Yeah, raiders have raided. And they've taken your hammocks and they've stolen your automatic sewing machine. They've griefed all of my hammocks. They've griefed all your hammocks and now all you have is a blue tarp out of spite.

They cut that into four pieces. I can't make a shelter out of spite. They cut that into four pieces. Bastards. I can't make a shelter out of this. There's no... You have half a dozen hammocks, but banditos have come and stolen half of each of your half dozen. Don't warn me of this. A couple of bad hombres. Bad hombres came and cut all my hammocks up.

No, I have a couple little projects in mind that I'm going to start. We bought a heavy-duty sewing machine. It can do leather. It was only $130. It's cheap. Okay, that's cool. See, if you're sewing leather together, that's not sewing. That's upholstering.

It turns out that your typical sewing machine that your wife might have, that my wife does have, can't even do some of the heavier canvases and stuff. It's really about like a shirt that you have on right now and uh so we found a heavy duty sewing machine that just happened to be on super sale and i had talked to it seems like every time i need to sew something jackie tells me that her machine can't do that what did you buy a sewing machine for yourself well it's not arriving for one to three weeks but yes okay uh so what is gay now if you take away the part about having sex with men i'm pretty gay dude oh my god you bought a you're a

seamstress we'll see who's laughing when i'm the only one who gets a custom scarf next year. When the show starts, you're both wearing these horrible lopsided beanie hats. That would be the funniest thing. Everybody made scarves and you only sent one to me. We've covered just how gay. So I'm in a perpetual state of shopping for paramotor wings I don't buy them all the time but I'm always looking

they have these custom color creators and I come up what would go good together what matches, what clashes, what's bold and then in the end I'm like yeah someone's going to see this and think that chick's cool as I go flying by.

Because I always land on, like, pink and black go so great together. But that's, I guess that's just what I am on the inside. Yellow and gold would be cool. Well, I like GIF recipes. That's my favorite subreddit because I like learning recipes in a pinch. But don't you find them dumb to follow? Like, aren't text recipes the nicest ones to work with? Ah, we'll see

I like to watch the gift recipe to see everything from beginning then but then I go in the comments and it's got the text Oh, well, that makes a lot of sense Because I've seen those gift recipes and I've tried one before or I'm like, all right I need two eggs and then I'll that much salt Alright, alright Need to wait for it to loop around again Some amount of flour, he poured it in. Okay, let's try that. I've seen it twice.

Well, many times I've sent a gift recipe to my wife. Twice she's actually executed on it because it seemed like something she'd like to. And that's exactly

how she does it. She's like, all right, I need to roll around. What was after the eggs? This could be a minute. Yeah, yeah. Go to the comments

and it's got the text, like the legit recipe, which I need To follow The alternative is terrible The two best ones that I still check At least like every other day Are Nature is fucking lit And Nature is metal

Because it's all just gifs of They're my favorite Nature is metal is fun No, it's just animals getting torn apart No, Nature is metal is where they getting torn apart and no nature's metal is where that's describing metal lit is usually something cool like for example i saw an owl fly between two people so you know but he like you wouldn't think he even fits but he puts his yeah you who and he just zooms right through uh it's pretty whatever he sounded like it was a gif so i have no way of knowing but yeah

nature's fucking lit is is fucking lit you know it's animals doing cool animal shit like like but nature is metal is nature's metal is a winner and a loser in all of those and and that's what i like about it watch a kitten get munched up oh it's real deal animal shit it's what animals do yeah it's the worst things animals do that are hard to look at. Thank you. That's what it is. It's animals being metal. Yeah.

Look, I get it. We were talking earlier about the eagle that kills the goat. And I'm like, oh, you know, that's kind of sad because I feel for the goat. But he's like, hey, those baby eaglets were going to starve. Oh, a caterpillar with wasp eggs hatching out of it. I saw that. Can you link it?

I think everyone wants to see it. You guys are ahead of me. Yeah, I'll link it. That was fucked. They're all wiggling. Dude, and my impression is the caterpillar doesn't die until they come out.

I can't tell if it's dead or if it's only moving because of the wriggling of the eggs. In Caterpillar, it's going, That Caterpillar, if it's dead, has not been dead very long. There's no decomposition going on. He doesn't seem

dehydrated. I can't tell why he's moving, but he's going to be dying from this little operation. I don't like looking at that, frankly, but it's not as bad as some of the other things. Like I see fetuses being ripped out of like cloven hoofed beasts. You know what are the worst things I saw? I saw, I think it was a bunch of monkeys dealing with an alligator. And the alligator got one of the monkey's arms and broke it.

And that was it. You just saw his arm laying like limp and in a non-arm shape. And you knew that monkey couldn't survive in the wild anymore. And just would benefit from a mercy killing. It was brutal. Like a fat person. You know what? Exactly like person. You know what? Exactly like that.

You know what? A lot of those people on The Survivor, like the contestants, they plump up for that show. You may have the wrong strategy, Kyle. First guy, that was his deal. He came in there, he's like, look at all these skin and bone,

ab, six-pack motherfuckers. I'm going for the long haul. 30 days from now, we'll see. He was carrying like an extra 35 pounds or 40 pounds maybe his name was richard something maybe it was richard richard didn't pay his taxes and did a year in prison now i wonder if he exited prison with more or less money than he would have if he had paid less because he didn't work for a year that's that's the worst part about prison.

Of course. You know, free room, free board. I don't know if that's the worst part about prison. Yeah, you're right. As I'm thinking about it, there's some other things I might not like, too. You know who would agree with you that's the worst about our prison? Now, the worst part about prison is you can't go to work. How am I supposed to sell propane and propane accessories?

The worst part of prison is you're behind that fence. Someone else mows the lawn every day. Bobby, you've ruined the pattern. Peggy? That show is due for a comeback. They keep remaking all these shows and stuff. Fucking bring that

back. It's Voices. Mike Judge does most of them. I would love if they'd bring King of the hill back yeah it's such a fucking good show i'm so glad i reintroduced it to my life like yeah only luanne died you know oh yeah the voice of her and she was never like a crux character anyway you can you can as long as boomhauer build and uh As long as Boomhauer build and Starforce actors, you can swap them out and get away with a lot. I think

it sounds like Taylor could just about do the main one. Let's make our own King of the Hill. You can tell. You can always tell. But if you want the show back, you say, you know what? If I spend a month doing nothing

but Hank and Bobby and Dale. You can replace Mike Judge. Well, he's alive. Damn it, I guess I'll have to learn Luan. Good luck with that. Yeah, that would be too hard. We need to get that impressionist guest that Steve was talking about, because I love that shit. That would be so much fun.

His name was Goff, I think. Something Goff, G-O-F-F. Yeah, he really does have a rough hit was talking about because i love that shit that'd be so much fun was his name was goth i think something goth g-o-f-f yeah it really does have a rough hit every now and then huh yeah because that's a bullshit archaic jewel what makes it not rough well that does not have ceramic coils it's not high quality like the a bay but it burns my it just just... So does it come out hot? It's not that it's hot. It's more that it's like rough and caustic. Just shitty.

Instead of my lungs being filled with a smooth, light vapor, they're kind of filled with something that makes me almost gag. It's when all the juice is gone and you don't realize it and then you like take an inhale anyway and you're like oh that was more damage to my lungs than a normal one yeah it's not good i really am looking forward to getting the abay because i'm you've been saying that i feel like

all year yeah i i i don't know what the delay has been well at one point, I was told there was one on the way, and then I guess it wasn't on the way, and then I waited for a very long time, and I was like, hey, is it on the way? And it's like,

well, why don't you just buy one? And I was like, well, I thought there was one on the way, and it's like, well, buy one. And I was like, I don't know, I'll get around to it,

and then a few weeks went by of procrastination, and it was like, all right, just buy it. I'll compensate you. And I'm like, will you really compensate me, or is this your way of telling me i should buy it and then i i went to order it but the code didn't work and i wanted to get the code fixed and i got the code fixed and ordered it and now it's been like eight days so i'm sure

it'll be here tomorrow yeah i'll be there soon but yeah i definitely want the thing i tried to buy one uh i think you can only buy them online um because i i tried to just buy one at a vape shop the other day but they didn't carry them so i got a story here the police chief tried to convince meth addicts that there was zika in their meth in Louisiana and none of them believed it or they didn't care that could be uh shit the I have a hard time Harahan police department that never had reason to believe Zika a mosquito-borne virus was in the contaminated meth and despite the department's offer there is no way to test for Zika and meth. Basically, they told meth heads

that they should bring their meth in and they'll check it for the Zika virus. And it was really just a way to get their meth. Yeah, and catch them for possession of meth. Yeah, meth is a fucked up drug. I was in the car this morning morning and like a local news story local to me here at atlanta this guy was high on meth and he broke into this woman's house wearing nothing but socks completely naked not completely don't don't exaggerate wearing nothing

but socks and uh she screams of course and he's like, and he runs in and he steals a sweatshirt from her kid's room and puts the sweatshirt on and then runs and then runs outside, hops on her golf cart, steals it and storms away into the night to another neighbor's house. The other neighbor had a gun. I was hoping the other neighbor had pants. The other neighbor had a gun and held the man at gun point until the police arrived and they tased him furiously and put him under arrest. And they interviewed the neighbor and he was like he's lucky I didn't put him down for good. It was like, who is this

guy? This guy is looking for somebody. Everyone got lucky. I thought he was going to ruin that sweatshirt in this story. I'm sure the sweatshirt was ruined and is now part of evidence. Yeah, you're probably right Yeah meth is just Not even once

It makes you aggressive too right It makes you aggressive like a meth head Yeah I think those people really get out of it And get violent And pretty amped up Who's the best drug users Off the top of my head, I'm thinking Pot.

Yeah, they don't bother anybody. They just eat Doritos and chill out. Yeah, he was injecting those marijuanas. He beat his wife half to death. That's what Nancy Grace would say. Yeah, it's absolutely what Nancy Grace would say. What a dirty cunt she is.

I wish something awful would happen to her. I wish someone would kidnap her like that Natalie Holloway chick in Aruba. You remember when she was pounding that story into the ground for what seemed like a decade? Mm-hmm. The thing with Nancy Grace that frustrated me the most, and this is true with anyone who does this,

it's not that she was wrong. Because people can be wrong. I feel like I knew less about pot 10 years ago than I do now. But she must have been corrected, right? When police department after police department comes to you and says, you know what? We are not having problems with potheads like we are with all these other drugs.

I'd much rather deal with a pothead than an alcoholic, right? She's in a position where she's getting blasted with the same information, accurate information. And she's stuck to her guns. Stuck to her guns, stuck to her guns, because she didn't want to be wrong. She's just talking about how homicidal pot makes you. Dude, like, get correct.

Like, I can forgive you for saying, you know what? I learned something. Like, that I can work with, but what she did, fuck her. Just a horrible person. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah probably pot uh and then maybe i feel like alcohol gets a bad rap but mostly just because so many it's it's so prevalent right it's legal so so there's you're getting the full spectrum of human of humanity on alcohol so like there's plenty of people i've known tons of people who were who were

different kinds of drunks some people get drunk and they're just a little annoying. Some people get emotional, but in a way where they love you. Yeah, I don't like that. Some people get down on... Because I don't return it, right? I don't return it either. Yeah, yeah. I don't like having conversations with drunk people.

I don't like having conversations with drunk people this much. You put me in an awkward position where I want to be like, yeah, I've always thought of you as my seventh best friend. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like babysitting. I don't like babysitting drunks. I don't want to be responsible for what you've chosen to put in your body tonight. You should have planned ahead.

tonight late like you should you should be able you should have planned ahead you should have already had a ride home and and like a place to sleep and and like already gotten some some alka-seltzer ready for for like the night ahead of you or whatever i don't want to be your babysitter you always prepped with the alka-seltzer and the uh i don't get drunk i don't get like like fall down like vomiting drunk i haven't thrown up from alcohol um probably since the last time woody saw me throw up from alcohol. No, I was meaning that you're still drinking and eating stuff that's going to give you reflux.

I've always got my Tums here. Yeah, that's what I mean. When you're done, you're going to chase it with one of those. I'm sure you're going to eat something delicious and fried after this. No, I'm all full for the evening. I had a delicious burger for lunch and that's all i ate today but i what i i take an antacid every day like like a zantac 150 or something like that because if i don't i get really bad acid reflux

and it doesn't have to do with alcohol it's just you just have it i just have it you know i always say every day no matter what i eat like i guess if I ate porridge or something like that, it wouldn't happen. But you don't want to resign yourself to a life of porridge. You're not a little bo-peep. A little bo-peep? I'm not some sort of fairytale character. Eh, more porridge, sir.

No, I'm eating jalapeno burgers and bullshit like that, like spicy food. But yeah, I haven't vomited from getting drunk. I haven't gotten pissed drunk in a really long time. The last time I got crazy drunk, I remember now, it was that drinking episode where I made fun of Riley for having a spinal injury. Oh, that was the one with Dick on, right? Yeah, that's the drunkest I've been in years.

And then before that, you have to go back to like one of our like paintball trips or something. Maybe the one where I vomited out the window while Joe Lozon drove the car. That was all the way drunk. That was all the way drunk. And in my defense, it's like, they were pushing the alcohol on you. Well,

in your defense also, you were courteous enough to do it outside the car. I got my head outside the window. He put his head out the window. I don't know if that's outside the enough to do it outside the car i got my head outside the window i don't know that's outside the car it's outside the car it's trust me if it if i vomited inside the car there'd been no doubt it was a rental car i think anyway it absolutely was a rental car i was it blasted down the side of the vehicle you return it you're like and then it was just one complaint there's still wet vomit in the floor here I can't believe you rented me a car with wet vomit.

Smell it. Pour it. I have something on my lip. Oh, no. That's less than a day old. I don't know what you guys were doing. Yeah, that was fucking bullshit. We were at the Tilted Kilt in Bowling Brook, Chicago, I want to say,

or something like that. Bow say or something like that bowling something like that and fuck did i get shit faced oh my god the owner that was there was no way around it there's no way around it like the owner of the place like knew who i was and i was like a fan they were playing my goddamn video it was like a sports bar and like they had tvs in the place half the tvs are playing football and hockey and the other half are playing my videos and we've got a table of like 18 of us there and everybody's buying me a drink and everybody's picking like whatever their favorite drink is nobody's asking me what i want i ordered what i wanted a single doseki beer that's what i wanted i think they were also

assuming you wanted vodka. I think there was a lot of vodka. They always assume I want vodka. Yeah. And that's kind of, that's true now. I've kind of warmed up to it. But back then, it was tequila. I always, I would always, and I'd probably, if I were out drinking, I'd probably go with tequila.

You know, I like tequila a lot. Why don't you switch up your drinking, like when you're playing video games and mix it up with some tequila? I don't know. The Tito's goes down so fucking smooth and there's no real flavor you know it's just i drank uh i drank some uh what is it glen fittage yeah scotch yeah i had a glen fittage 12 today uh at lunch with my burger. It was disgusting. You just happened to have Glenfiddich 12? Yeah. I was at a friend's house. She had it.

And I was like, this is all you got? She's like, yeah. Smelled it and I literally cringed when I smelled it. I shivered. I literally shivered. I shivered from the smell of it and I was like do you have anything to chase it you just got a burger and fries I was like and I found like she had a Coca-Cola and I poured some coke

on ice and I was just like I did like you know a couple of shots of that enjoyed my burger and took a little nap and it was disgusting I don't want it I don't want anymore but anyway that that trip there like as soon as we sat down at the fucking table in Chicago it was like I had I had the beer I ordered and then I had like two shots of Jameson and a shot of vodka and some sort of weird and a Jaeger bomb and then some other mixed drink. And it's all for me. It's all the healing in your belly together. I haven't even started on them yet. They're just sitting there.

I'm not saying one after another. This happened. And then a few minutes later, there was this drink. I'm saying immediately all of these drinks were pushed in front of me. Like somebody was like, yeah, a shot of Jameson for everyone at the table. And I was like, well, I've got that shot here. And oh, yeah, here, Kyle, here's a shot of tequila. And now that's sitting there.

I haven't even started taking my first sip of anything yet. And I've got literally five drinks. And so I just went through them real quick. And I'm wasted already. We just got here, and I'm too drunk. I'm too drunk already. And we just arrived. And I remember going to the bathroom and pissing. And I pissed, and I flushed the toilet, and I put too drunk. I'm too drunk already and we just arrived and I remember going to the bathroom and pissing

and I pissed and I flushed the toilet and I put the toilet seat down and I sat there and I remember distinctly looking at the floor and going, you already ruined the night. This was going to be a great night. You didn't want to try and force a yak?

I was like, you probably could have fucked one of those waitresses that are playing your fucking videos out there. They want to try and force a yak? I was like, you probably could have fucked one of those waitresses. They're playing your fucking videos out there. They want to know who you are. You could have fucked one of those dirty hooters. Because it's like hooters, but like a Scottish spin on it. Could have fucked one of those bitches. The owner would have given you a little help there.

The owner's got me in the back of the kitchen. He brings out an assault rifle in the kitchen of the restaurant. I'm signing it in the back room somewhere jeremy's there and so now it's me and jeremy and the owner and we're out back in an alley like smoking cigarettes wasted and and the owner and and the owner's like uh obviously he runs a bar so like alcohol is worthless to him it's like it's like ammo for me and He's just like, yeah, if you want to take a couple of cases

of beer back with you, feel free. I'm like, oh no. Honestly, I'm kind of shit-faced right now. I don't want any more beer. Jeremy's like, I'll take a few cases. That's so Jerry. That's so Jerry. That's so fucking trashy.

I'll take a few of them free cases of beer. I'm an FPS Russia sidekick. I load the magazine. Yeah. I don't know. That takes me back in a special kind of way.

Yeah, that's everything I know about Jeremy right there. Yeah, just immediately piped up. No shame. No That takes me back in a special kind of way. Like, yeah, that's everything I know about Jeremy right there. Yeah. Just immediately piped up. No shame. No, like, awareness of the social situation that he was in. Like, oh, this guy is offering this thing to Kyle because, like, he's a fan of Kyle. Because he really likes what Kyle does. He really likes Kyle.

Right. And he wants to befriend Kyle this way. And Jeremy's acting like he's doing it because he has too much alcohol on hand. Exactly. Oh. Well, hell, if you've got too many Dos Equis, I'll take a few cases. You don't keep in contact with him anymore, right? Yeah, I spoke to him

two months ago or something like that. Yeah, I was back home and I was, you know... What's he up to? Do we get a Jeremy update? Working hard! Working hard in welding. He does some sort of welding. Does he get certified and such? I don't know about that. He works at a job where he assembles

fuel tanks or something like that. He moves multiple components, assembles them together, welds them together, and test proofs them with some pressure bullshit and sends them on down the line. It's a hard job, but he works a ton of hours. He's making a decent living now.

I don't even know how many fucking kids dude like like the lady he married already had at least one maybe two and then he's had at least three maybe four with her to the point where he's got somewhere between four and six children under that roof at this point. It's a shit show. It's a fucking shit show. How old is he? Fuck. 25? 26? Can't be 27. And you know, just a moron.

I mean, Woody's met the man. Is this a... You know Jeremy. I mean, I bet his IQ's over is over 80 yeah somewhere between 80 and 90 i would say yeah um and it just just and he's like a pretty bright guy in somalia yes yes he would be they have a low iq in somalia just to they don't have a regular oh yeah you just look up like world iq by map you can see it yeah yeah okay. Okay. I just picked them because off the top of my head, I feel like that's one of the lowest. I don't remember.

I don't know why I thought every population that was big enough would just center at 100. Oh, no. That's what some people would like you to believe, but... No. But anyway, Jeremy's 25, maybe 26 years old, and he has six children. Yeah, with like a whole... He's got like half a baseball team. No. No. No. He's... Base years old. Yeah, with like a whole, like a, he's got like half a baseball team. No, no, he's, he's.

Baseball team. Yeah, he's fucking starting lineup over there at this point. And he's also like a volunteer fireman or some bullshit like that. It's like, how are you finding time to volunteer as a fireman? Oh, you get enough kids and you find a way to get out of the house. That's what I was thinking too. And his wife is a nut job from what I've been told. Like,

like, you know, people would know her and say, she's a real nutty bitch. It's interesting. He's not the only guy that I know who's like kind of made more of himself after a couple of kids. Like they found that to be what they needed to get kicked into gear.

I don't know. I've seen that with the friends in my own life or like once they have a kid like a weird thing clicks and it's like they they go into overdrive sometimes with athletes it goes the other way like it their their whole life was centered on that thing and now they have kids and they're like you know what actually i could take or leave this thing that actually makes sense i'd never thought about that yeah you have an athlete's they make so much jeremy is just has always been just a perpetual kind of stupid shitty person you know not intentional like he'd never he doesn't do wrong because he i don't like that he borrows your guns with no intention of giving them back like you have to he doesn't know any better it doesn't know any better he's just like he's you know he's environmentally shitty in that way you know like like i you know if you're lending him my sewing

machine don't he doesn't he doesn't want it jeremy is a straight man oh my bad yeah yeah yeah but but you know he's done plenty of shitty things like like his borrowing you often amounts to stealing you know like like i really really don't like that i don't know that one sinks deeper with me than almost anything else i've ever heard about him yeah all kinds of stuff i'm pretty sure he's stolen i've talked about it for sure sure he's stolen a bunch of stuff from me in the past but he wasn't stealing it like like like if you imagine doing it maliciously, he wasn't, he really, it's really not malicious stealing. It's he's, he pictures himself as like this character who has less than he needs.

And he sees a character who has more than they need and his evaluation of them. And he's like, well, Hey, if I had more than I needed, I would happily, you know, just toss it away. Cause that's what he does when he gets any money you know no matter how much i paid him over the years it was all gone by monday you know it was always gone it was like oh i got money in my hands what do i fucking do with money i need new tires i just see him like hey kyle can i borrow what a cordless impact driver who got me a new cordless impact driver.

Unless Kyle remembers I got it. Yeah. I feel like he's not so dumb that thought isn't in his head. Oh, it's in his head. We pulled a prank on him one time to see how he would react. He had like a couple of guns in his car that were mine. And his car was parked there at my dad's place. And he was in the field doing something, driving a tractor or something.

Scott and I go into his truck and we get my guns out of his car. It wasn't anything crazy. A couple handguns and a shotgun. We take them out. Yeah. Take them out. Hide them in my car. Don't say a fucking thing.'t say anything three days go by

he doesn't say anything four days go by i'm like jeremy uh hey do you do you have that pump shotgun i'm gonna go uh just make something up i don't remember what i said i'm gonna go dove hunting or i'm gonna go i need it for a video or I'm gonna do a thing I ain't getting that pump shotgun you got the the Remington yeah yeah it's at home I'll uh I'll bring it by tomorrow he knows it's not at home he's lost it he thinks it's been stolen from him it has been kind of it has been stolen no it just went on for three days with me me ramping up every day hey I really need it man come on tomorrow right I can come back with you to your place and get it tonight if you're not going to be able to bring it tomorrow

oh no I'll bring it tomorrow he's just sweating it out over there thinking that he's lost a grand worth of guns or whatever that he's going to be responsible for and he's just lying through his rotten teeth lying through his teeth lying through his rotten teeth. Yeah, yeah. Lying through his guns.

So, yeah, I don't know. You know, he's a piece of shit, but I guess he was kind of my piece of shit. So, you know, I forgive a lot. I'm a nice guy in that way, I suppose. He was always good for a laugh. He just did the stupidest shit, you know. He was comic relief, you know. Scott and I have gun permits, open carry or concealed carry.

And we would oftentimes, especially in Texas. It's like wearing boots when you go to Texas. You want to fit in, just throw a fucking handgun on your hip and they think you're cool. And I'd look and Jeremy's got a gun stuck in his pants. And I'm like, Jeremy, what are you doing with a gun stuck in your pants? You can't do that. We're at Circle K. Or Mario's got a gun.

Yeah, everybody else took the test and found the paperwork. Everybody else has a little card right here that says we can, except for you, the guy with the ruger in his back pocket i had a friend that stole from me one not we were younger i was probably 14 i had a jet ski and uh he had a jet ski too which made him like a really valuable friend there weren't a lot of people who had jet skis so uh you know the fact that we could go play together and stuff meant something his had a bad carburetor so our jet skis were kawasaki 440 that matters because he bought a 550 carburetor like thinking that it would be an upgrade so he puts it on there doesn't run right like of course not oh no no this is not how it went i'm sorry my carburetor went bad i bought the 550 but he

worked it like a jet ski fixing place so i got the new carburetor everything's fixed it's great now his ski doesn't run right he comes to me and says look woody here's the deal that like upgraded carburetor you bought i took it i took it and put it on my own jet ski because we both thought it was going to make it better he's like well it doesn't work and put it on my own jet ski because we both thought it was going to make it better he's like well it doesn't work right so i want my carburetor my you know the one i stuck on your ski back and then you can have this one that doesn't work and it was like that he was my best friend he was he was toxic as fuck yeah we went like in and out of friendship for a couple of years actually

that's so shitty it's where i learned about toxic friendship like he taught me yeah yeah like i and he wasn't even aware of how shitty he had been like like the he should have sucked it up like like i don't know what he could have done i don't know he done the wrong thing he was wrong from the get-go, you know? Right from the jump, he's a piece of shit. I was trying to think, like, well, I guess what I would have done is, like, bought another carburetor for you. But wait, wait, no! No!

You were shitty from the start! You stole his carburetor! And then once he realized that stealing... I bought the wrong carburetor, essentially. We thought it'd be an upgrade but it wasn't and once he realized that was the case he's like oh well now you have to live with your mistake that i almost had to live with by stealing it from you yeah that's a shitty fucking thing to do yeah he's a cop now go figure yeah terrible racist cop but uh yeah terrible racist cop but uh why don't you want to go ahead and dox him fully you know down at the metro police department in bridgeport he's a real scumbag corporal stevenson

jim stevenson badge number three yeah we have like friends in common and i'd find out stuff like uh he tried to hack the like police officers' computers. He got in trouble for that. This one I almost hardly blame him for. But every so often they'd get a bad guy in who they knew was bad. Right. I know the police aren't supposed to be judge and jury. But sometimes like, I don't know, a guy's mid-rape.

And this guy was strong and he would beat the bad guy as the first punishment around. Yeah, that happens a good bit, especially if they have not so much resistance, if they've assaulted a cop. Like if during the arrest they hurt a cop, or if the thing they were being arrested for was hurting a cop, or in one instance shooting a cop, they get thing they were being arrested for was hurting a cop or uh in one instance

shooting a cop they get a real working over that's not like a thing you just see in like the movies or something like that they they take an ass beating yeah yeah this one was it was i'd make that up it was actually a rape and uh so he was just the first line of justice, but he got in trouble for it. Yeah, that's probably for the best. But yeah, bad guy, I think. A real asshole. Two thumbs down. Hmm.

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Painkiller Ready, episode 425.