Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #439

Episode Date: May 24, 2019

On this week's PKA, this week we've got our good friend ex-NFL athelete and current badass podcaster, Arian Foster on the show. The guys go back and forth about their predictions for the finale of Game of Thrones, Arian discusses some of the money involved in college sports and Taylor shares with us a very vile story, that's absolutely disgusting.

PKA episode 439 with our guest Arian Foster, Kyle Couple of sponsors tonight Squarespace of course, Casper Mattresses Blue Chew Turned my dad on to Blue Chew And Turo So we'll get to all of them later on in the show

Of course I look forward to Papa Stan's Blue Chew feedback But let's see what Let's all give dick pills to our dads Yeah Dad needs some loving too don't act like arian how is how's the podcast going last time you came on it was like you were you're pretty close to like the the start of it and it's been like a year or so how's it going yeah yeah no um it's going good man we um i don't know how to gauge how it is with everybody else, but

we're satisfied. Uh, we, um, we actually linked up with this company. It's a new company called Luminary and they're, they're trying to be what they say, the Netflix of podcasting. And so they're, um, they're trying to put it into where it's a subscriptionbased thing. I know there's a lot of pushback on it, but to answer your question, our podcast was on their radar. And so we decided to switch over services. So it's going good, man. I enjoy it. Nice. What do you talk about? They haven't even reached out to us yet. That's unfortunate. That's unfortunate.

What do you talk about on your show? That's unfortunate. What do you talk about on your show? It's kind of guest-based, but recently I did a breakdown of – well, so the guest-based really is I try to get a diversity of guests. And so I've had anywhere from – let's see. I've had Snoop Dogg on. I've had a NASA astronaut. I just had Neil deGrasse Tyson.

That was a dope one. I've had just a variety of guests. Those are huge guests. Yeah. That's dope. And I had like an oncologist here, local oncologist here in Houston. And we just talk about things that I'm really interested in. So I'm lucky I have... Oh, you wanted to cheer everybody up. So you got the oncologist on. Yeah. everybody up so you got the oncologist on yeah but uh yeah so i did this one podcast though because uh you know leaving you guys probably hit it on your show but leaving neverland came out yeah and and i wanted to yeah yeah so i don't want to get too deep into it but i watched that for the first time and i grew up thinking michael jackson was guilty like it was just kind of

what it was but I loved his music. And so I watched that little quote-unquote documentary, and it left me with a sour taste in my mouth. It didn't feel right, and it wasn't believable to me. You thought he was less guilty after watching it because a lot of people flip the other way. No, no, no. So I watched it, and I thought that looked like I was being lied to. That's what it looked like. I still thought there was no agenda.

Yeah. And I still thought it was guilty, but I just didn't. It looked like bad acting. That's just that was my off the cuff opinion. And like, you know, I prefaced it with like, yo, we should always listen to sexual abuse victims. Absolutely. And so what it made me do was like all right let me look into it and so when i looked into it it just led me down this this rabbit hole of of of allegations and so i went back to the all the way to the 1993 case and so i did i ended up doing research on it for like three weeks it took me like three weeks to compile all the information. I went over court documents, testimonies. I read all of this shit. God damn.

Yeah, it was deep. Did you come to a conclusion? I did. You want me to spoil it for you? Yeah. Spoil whether or not he was a racist. I got you. After all of that, I went over everything, man.

I came out thinking, not only do I think he's innocent, I think he's probably one of the most genuine human beings that have ever walked his earth. It's insane Well funny enough it took it took him three weeks to come to that conclusion about Michael Jackson only five minutes though to decide That R Kelly's a scumbag We have we have evidence of R Kelly though, right right? We got video. We saw that. Not only that, because I haven't seen it. I refuse to see it. I was in high school.

He actually married, so it's documented, he married Aaliyah. The girl that he peed on? No, no, no. The singer, she ended up dying later on when she was like 21 or 22. But when he was 27, she was 15 and they actually eloped. That's legal pedophilia.

Can you watch child porn if you're a minor yourself? I watched that video when I was 10. You're not allowed to. Sir Pal just admitted to watching child porn. If you're 15 and you send a dick pic to your girlfriend,

you distributed child porn. Shit. I was reading this story where this guy like 15 and you send a dick pic to your girlfriend you distributed child porn shit even if you're 15 yeah yeah i was reading this story where this guy is like they're like 14 and 15 maybe 16 years old and they're they're sending nudies back and forth and the the girl's dad went to the police the police came to the guy charged him with distributing child pornography took his phone saw that she was also distributing child pornography and then went for the saw that she was also distributing child pornography, and then went for the girl too. And so the guy got both of them arrested.

Nice, Dad. That's quality parenting. We need a brave politician to stand up for young child pornographers. This is going to be my stance. Hey, you know, I'm not in favor of child porn, but why can't a 15-year-old send another 15-year-old a picture of her tits?

What's wrong with that? As long as you're not getting involved. It's philosophically interesting. I'm not going to lie. Yeah. I mean, it's not a good thing. Like, you shouldn't take any – give any leeway for child porn. But it's like you should be able to look at it with a critical eye where it's like, were they distributing child porn or were they being horny teens?

Dude, porn on the internet has turned into a different thing. I feel like if you go back 10 years, the thought process was, oh my god, don't take a picture. It could end up on the internet and it will never go away. Now everyone is like, dude, there is so much porn on the internet. It is pee in the ocean. It doesn't go away. It just becomes unfindable as it gets distributed out there. Well, you're just pissing into an ocean of piss. Yeah.

It disappears just through obscurity. It'll be fine. Or if you take nudes of yourself, just keep your face out of it. That's an easy rule that I've always followed. The problem is I have a gigantic sword tattoo down my chest. It's very recognizable. I shouldn't have gotten my social put across my chest. Identifiable. Yo, this is a fun game I always play with my friends I was and I always be like we we ask each other what's what's your go-to

when you type in something on a porn site what's it what you guys go to hmm if I'm being honest like the vast majority of porn I watch is on this show like I used to watch porn more and i slowed down and i stopped but my go-to even when i do still now i've said it before i'll say it again it's always amateur because i want to feel like it's real i don't like that it's like god damn it there's like good lighting in this i can see the craft service table kyle taylor i want to say i feel like your search is a little amateur. What you're looking for

is homemade. Amateur can mean all kinds of things. I would argue that I go through waves like different things. I don't know if there's a single answer. No. No. Think about this. An amateur race car driver

isn't somebody out on the interstate driving fast. It's someone who has a race car on a racetrack. They might even have a little bit of a sponsor. Preach it. So an amateur porn star could be like, this is my first time. I saw this listing in the newspaper for adult modeling. Now I'm here being an amateur model. However, homemade being.

I can't believe I'm just now getting this. Oh, by the way, an amateur porn is often just fake amateur model. I can't believe I'm just now getting this. Oh, by the way, an amateur porn is often just fake amateur porn. Kyle laid out one possible scenario, but another even more common one, I would argue, is just professional porn stars pretending to do an amateur gig. Are you saying that I may have been duped into an orgasm?

Yes. Oh, the second the cameraman moves, I see through that facade. There's a cameraman. This isn't amateur. Put that shit on a tripod or lean it against the hairdryer on the dresser. Well, it depends on what kind of porn you watch.

Sometimes a cameraman is necessary. I can look at the thumbnail and tell if it's homemade or fake amateur porn just by the grain of the video the lighting that's some rain man shit when you mouse over and see those few seconds of preview i know make sure that there's like coffee like you know when people like someone like this chick's like blowing a dude or something and he's filming and behind her is like an avengers movie playing it's like all right this is definitely real amateur yes that's the Avengers. Topics like this remind me that my mom watches this show. Carry on, boys.

Yeah. So I don't – Well, my mom will too. Woody, did we get your – I still – What did you go to? I just said it was like blank homemade. So whatever it is I'm searching for, it's something homemade.

And that will change in waves. Mine – It's not necessarily any specific genre, but what I'm looking for is the creme de la creme. My porn site of choice is X Hamster. It's like the third biggest porn site in the world, below Pornhub

and I think Xtube. I was hoping you'd stack rank them. Carry on. What's number four and five? Tube 8, Spunk Tube, of um i i digress um so so what i do is i search by best and what and you might be confused what what does best mean right what best means this is a very interesting algorithm they have they factor in how long somebody watched the video before they turned it off. And you might think that the longer

you watch a video, the better. That's how YouTube would react. But with masturbation, there's a very specific amount of time that if you watch a video for 30 seconds, bad video. If you watch a video for 10 minutes, there's something wrong with your

body. This is masturbation, not sex, right? But if you watch a video for 10 minutes, there's something wrong with your body. This is masturbation, not sex, right? But if this video has been watched for between three and seven minutes by a huge amount of the population. You can get 30 minutes to yourself if you want to prolong it. Arian, I'm glad you said that. I felt like an old man. You know, sometimes I'm in no hurry. I love me more than anybody else. I have never received a better handjob than I have from me.

I am the best there is, I think. So let's take some time. I've received better than myself. I have. And it was from Woody. That's what I'm saying. I'm going to co-sign on Woody's statement. The best handjob.

I searched by best And then there's a time Thing you can set so it's like best in the last Day You do best in The last seven days best this month And best this year and best All time

So if you've never been to Xhamster then this is kind of like when you Discover a new subreddit and you go best all. Oh, cop on XHamster, best all time, and you get the best videos that have ever been uploaded on there, and there's some real winners. There's some real winners.

What is the best all time? What is it? I'm a big fan of... That chick in the green sweater getting a doggy style in the office everybody's seen that it's the best of all time no it's not i like heather brooke um from highdeepthroat.com um you're not wrong yeah yeah she made amateur pornography with an encyclopedic knowledge of this subject i mean anyone who knows the genre knows that pulling out Heather Brooke is like... Name any good actors? Robert De Niro?

Oh, yeah. So amazing. Everyone knows Robert De Niro. Raging Bull! Come on! Heather Brooke is... Heather Brooke was the master of deep throw. Her boyfriend's like, I don't know, eight and a half inches or something. Maybe nine. I'll take that bet.

And she can slam it all right she she she waits until she waits until he he starts coming and then she completely impales herself with his penis and he ejaculates down her throat impale is not a sexy word um it is too technical yeah she she engorges herself with cock. I don't know that engorges gets better. I one-up you. I one-up you. You do some homework on this one. Annette Schwartz.

This is not a name I know. She is one of the... She's a Hall of Famer. Is she typing it up right now? Yeah, I don't know. I found a founder I came across her probably I'll say about ten years ago and he's not my goatee go to but it's it's just impressive when I saw I was like it was you ever stop doing what you're doing and just like wow this is this is wild this is interesting right now have i ever stopped we're all doing yeah oh yeah this oh this is interesting because i'm learning a little something about arian

that's not my course arian what goes for the german girl ladies and gentlemen arian likes him a little dirty i I thought that was it. My go-to, though, is actually mature. I don't know. How mature are we talking here? Like 75? I've looked at all of the spectrum.

I like my sweet pocket. The sweet spot is probably 50 to 60. Are you familiar? I didn't see that coming. Are you familiar with Lisa Ann? My sweet pocket, the sweet spot is probably 50 to 60. 50 to 60? Are you familiar? I didn't see that coming. Are you familiar with Lisa Ann? No, don't know who Lisa Ann is.

Oh, you will love Lisa Ann. Lisa Ann looks a lot like Sarah Palin if Sarah Palin had huge tits and a big, gigantic ass. Oh, you know about my Sarah Palin fetish. And she did, when Sarah Palin was at... Can you see Russia now, you whore? You think that's funny? You're joking. I've talked about this on the show before, but some people don't remember.

So, she did this porno called Nalin Palin, and she plays Sarah Palin, and there's a part where she makes the joke about being able to see Russia from her house, and then two Ruskies come in and bone her. It's it's great oh that brings me to a topic well this topic is great i i have this it basically life changes we now live by porn rules what's the first thing you do order pizza that was my answer no question i'm gonna order pizza and while the pizza lady is

blowing me i'm taking the whole pizza and shoving it down the drain so i can also have an excuse to call the plumber kyle i'm gonna throw this out there because there's an emergency on your hands you have got to find your stepsister before your father does does he has made the statement before that what he didn't have a sister growing up no brother so so he's like do you ever want to fuck your sister I don't get it like like don't you it's weird to me that there's a hot chick your age in your house that you're living with and it never crosses your mind now let's get past the absurdity that of what and and it never crosses your mind. Now let's get past the absurdity of what he said in the last statement.

And just go to a pretend world where that's not odd that he just said that. We're living in poor worlds. And let's pretend like it's our stepsister. Now I never had a stepsister. Oh, I thought you did. No, I have a half-sister. Oh. I don't even... Carry on. See, that's immoral.

You can't fuck your half-sister. Dad's child, separate marriage, that's half-sister. But step-sister would be like if my dad married... No, that's totally immoral. ...a lady and she had a daughter from her previous marriage and this is a person that's completely unrelated to me. Gotcha. How do we all feel about maybe fooling around with our step-sister? I don't have a sister and I don't have a step-sister.

And I remember... It's weird if you don't. It's definitely better I don't have a stepsister. And I remember it's weird. If you don't, it's definitely better than sister or half sister because stepsister, at least there's no blood relation there. But like Woody's thing where he's like, did you ever want to fuck your sister? I remember like in like eighth grade or ninth grade or whatever, being at my friend's house.

And he had two sisters that like our friend group was like, Oh, your older sister looking pretty good and we'd like give him shit about it all the time and like his only response is like the same thing they all do like oh gross don't talk about my sister tits like that don't speculate about what her pussy looks like we were very explicit that happened to me i was come on mikey is it an innie or an outie i gots to to know. I'm working in retail. I'm like 14 years old, and I have a coworker who's in college. His little sister comes in who is my age, also 14, 15, something like that.

And I'm like on my knees putting hats on a rack. We sold lots of hats. And she walks in in her bikini, and I see her, and I'm just like cartoon, like wowza eyes. She was a perfect specimen and i was like dude your sister is beautiful and he's like what hands off she's taken and then he said this where were you looking at her and i thought like i don't know like i wasn't paying attention where where would i'm 14 like i'm still figuring things out. I was looking at that cute little ass.

Dude, I was eye to eye with where babies come from. But it wasn't really a spot that you'd zero in on in my head at the time. And I guess I was thinking boobs and ass were a more appropriate thing to look at. I didn't know the

answer, but the question threw me for a loop. She said like her collarbone. I just took in the whole thing. I don't want to move past the mature thing. Does she like skinny guys late to puberty? I've got some curious questions. What is it about

the 50 to 60 demo that you're like, hell yeah? Is it just that you've gone through so many other genres that you've ended up here well i think i think well let me see let me try to break this down when you i don't like like professional porn like so to speak i don't like it it just looks too like 4k porn you know what i'm saying just like i don't know it. It just looks too like 4k point. You know what I'm saying? Just like, I don't know. It's not appealing to me. It's just like, and then like, um, what is, what is it? There's a lot of different genres, man.

But like, I don't know, maybe it's a personal preference. Just like, um, say I'm in a monogamous relationship now, but when I was out there doing my thing, what I noticed was older women, uh, what was attractive to me was that it was just like no nonsense like they know what you there for you know what you there for and there's no extra like there's no like i'm falling for you type stuff right so like you didn't have to deal with and i guess that appeal always lingered in my mind but i don't i don't know what it is it's attractive another thing might be like you you've done very very well for yourself in your life and so you might might be like uh yeah i could fuck these girls these post-menopausal bitches nobody's gonna hit me up for child support you never know subconscious thing i think he's lucky this is a gift from god

that he has this this mature uh fetish thing Because as he ages, as he makes his way through life, the people that he partners with will just get more and more appealing. They'll head towards Arian's version of perfection. Someday, you'll be nailing a 60-year-old in real life. Oh, look at those clothes. I'm going to break your here again also once I also one time this this is really fucked with me one time I was doing my thing and you know how you click on like college teen gets whatever right mm-hmm not really thinking as a teen it's just

whatever I got better be i paid 85 dollars but i clicked and like i was looking at the girl and i was like yo and it was like a regular porn so i was like i'm gonna say a legal one but it was a legal one uh it was just a regular porn site like i always frequent it was x videos is my thing so i was just a regular one and i looked and then she looked real young and so i was like yo I clicked off cuz I was like it was too close for comfort and ever since then I was like I don't even play with no team videos anymore cuz I it could be so I don't even go away on the walker she used. My IP address is covered. When you're like 60 years old, you're going to be looking up 92-year-old boys.

No, I think I'm going to reach a point in my life where it starts to go like this. I have a subreddit for that. What's it called? All right, so you're familiar with the word faux. You know, like faux fur. Oh, yes, like false. And we're familiar with jailbait faux. You know, like faux fur. Oh yes, like false. And we're familiar with jailbait, which is an underage girl, right? Yes, I know that term.

I give you our faux bait. These are girls who look like they're underage, but aren't. And this is a community that they let... This exists on Reddit right now. Oh my goodness. I believe that some of these girls could be underage masquerading as pretending to be underage. I am not clicking that link. Yeah, I clicked it.

I clicked it and I don't know why I did it. God damn it. God damn it. I don't know why I did it. God damn it. God damn it. I don't trust it. How big of a community is it, Kyle? How big? How big is my browser? It's too late.

It's too late for that. It's not too popular. Just 105,000 members. So it's not flying under the radar. It's rapidly growing. It hit 100K 19 days ago. Yeah. They're gaining about 500 people

a day or something by my math. It's a lot. I don't even know what Reddit is really. What is Reddit? It's just a forum aggregator. It's a media aggregate. Alright, so there's Reddit, which is this big website, but amongst there are subreddits.

So any, name a thing, NFL, photography, any kind of pornography. Like if you like a certain kind of titty or a certain kind of ass. Double A's. I'm not even kidding. Like if you like ghost nipples, which is when the nipple is almost like invisible, it blends in. If you like long nipples, like pokies the nipple is almost invisible, it blends in. If you like long nipples, like pokies, there's a subreddit just for that. And there'll be like 50,000 other dudes mostly who are also into that.

And they aggregate and they stick. And it's just full of the best porn and porn images related to that topic. And it's not all porn. Don't get me wrong. This isn't a porn site. Because if you're into a certain video game, or if you're into video games, period. Or if you're into videos, or comedy,

or computers, or PC building, or carpentry, or painting. You can watch animals attack each other. That's my favorite one. Nature is metal. MMA is one. MMA is one. It's one of my favorites. It's like the organization

of the internet. Have you heard of a news aggregation site before? That's the term for it. But the words don't make that much sense to me. I've heard of Reddit. Everybody always says yo, Reddit or subreddit, but I just never cared enough for that. So people find an article that's interesting to them and people who share that interest.

They post it to their subreddit and then it gets upvoted or downvoted. The ones that tend to be at the top there's also a currency to the algorithm. It's all the hot things going on in this topic that interests you right now. If you liked football,

then discussion of last week's games would be there. The NBA one is actually really good. The hockey one is really good too. Yeah, the hockey one, that's what I spend the most time on Reddit, on the hockey one. There's tens and tens of millions of users, and the best part is

there are tens of thousands of subreddits, and you might think, well, I got to rifle through all of that, like find, but no, you can search by all. We were talking about searching porn by certain ways. You can just go by our all,

and it's the top voted thing amongst all categories so the sometimes the top voted thing is just a hot chick like walking down the street naked sometimes the top thing is like a terror attack or like elon musk just like you know how many users it has like how many reddit it's one of the busiest sites on the planet yeah it sounds like it. They call it the front page of the internet. But that's their own marketing slogan. Yeah, but really, I wouldn't guess there were too many busier sites. If I just pulled off the top of my head...

Google comes to mind, maybe Amazon, YouTube, but I bet Reddit is in the top ten, I'm guessing. Yeah, definitely. I would agree so. Probably close to the top five. I'm just afraid I'm missing something. Facebook, Google, YouTube, Twitter, Instagram.

Those probably all beat it. Or those definitely all beat it. I'm not sure Instagram beats it on the internet. 542 million monthly visitors. Holy shit. Yeah, you should check it out, man. You'll get on there and you'll find a little community of people who are as much into whatever you're really into,

no matter how obscure. Old chicks. Yeah, there's probably one called r slash old chicks. Aged beauties. No question. I'm going to stay away from that one. Aged beauties. Okay.

I'm going to stay away from it. I'm going to find something. Yeah, it's good stuff. what else is new in your life other than the podcast uh man i i've just been traveling i've been enjoying life um went to japan that was dope um what'd you do in japan uh it was just a vacation so i just went out there and i had my favorite meal of all time is uh ramen japanese ramen okay and i had no idea how i mean it's good here it's really good here but over there it's like another level and i didn't i don't ever take food pictures like ever like i don't do it it's not my thing don't disrespect anybody that does but it's just not my thing. And I took a food picture over there.

It was that good. Dude, I went to Japan. It was that bad. It was awful, super crazy bad. And everyone knew I was making a mistake but me. But I figured if these people eat this regularly, then it can't be awful, right? Wrong. What did you get?

An uncookedated or something there's a term for it and it was a word that i didn't recognize but i saw it on the menu and it was prominently featured so i figured it was like maybe this restaurant did it well or maybe it's a popular meal and uh it was so awful god well what like what kind of meat was it? Was it noodle? Was it hibachi? Were they making it in front of you? It was like bird sushi. Like uncooked bird goose or something like that. I don't know why. I don't know what I was thinking. I didn't even know what it was.

You ate raw poultry? But I don't... It wasn't like chicken from it. I wonder if Lozon remembers what I ordered. They were all making fun of me. It was quite the... It was a thing. It was quite the thing. Hey, my guy out there.

It's like when you go to an Italian restaurant and you can't quite read the menu very well. And you're just like, ah, yes, sir. This. This is what I want. I'll have the cable gucci. You want the muki kuki? We did that.

We were not going for a tourist area. There was no English to be had in anywhere nearby. There was no English to be had anywhere nearby. There was no English on the menu. You ate man. You ate human being. They call that long pig in the South Pacific Islands, I believe. That was a Taiwanese boy you ate. Can we talk about Game of Thrones?

You are. Yes, I've got a lot of things to say. I'm sure everybody has a lot of things to say. I have an apology I'll kick off with. Last week... Before you do that, I'm going to find this picture of the ramen just because it was negative. All right. All right.

While we talk Game of Thrones, I will take that picture and show it to everyone. I'm going to throw it in the chat, man. All right. All right. So last week, I was explaining that everyone was wrong about the Scorpions because the showrunners said that the Scorpion, which was the big, like, mounted bow and arrow, it didn't work well last year.

Qyburn went back to the drawing board, and he made it better. So I'm like, guys, would you just accept this reasonable explanation? So then this week comes along. And what, did he make it worse? He made it worse? He made them ineffective? Like, suddenly I'm fussing. And this time it wasn't just six of them.

Euron's bonus for speed and range has also been removed. Dude, we should have known this show was going to end dumb when they named a dragon Drogon. That's lame. That's a silly ass name. When G.R.R. Martin said... This is born out of a Reddit post, and a lot of people have copied this idea since then.

So G.R.R. Martin gave the showrunners, D&D, how it was going to end. He didn't flush it out. So they don't have books to follow anymore, but they do have kind of the finish line. So they know where the end is. They just don't know how to get there. And with that seed planted, the last two or three years start to really make sense. Like that's why there's these clumsy fast travels going on.

That's why people are doing character turns really weird. Character arcs that were a nice slow incredible even burn for five years just started zigzagging like the floppy guy in front of a car dealership in the last two it doesn't make any sense because all he did was give him the finish line but i bet this idea that danny has a character arc turned to be Mad Queen, that Jon Snow does this, and Jaime dies under the castle with Cersei. But those things, those finish lines are all right. It's just that the direction there, it wasn't filled in, and the showrunners don't do it as well as G.R.R. Martin.

And one last thing. I'm sorry. I don't want G.R.R. Martin to get off scot-free on this. Everyone says he did a great job, but the showrunners did a bad job. Nay, nay. He didn't do a job at all in the second half. He finished the last two books. He denies that that's true.

Interesting. Yeah, so that came out as a rumor, and then I saw many articles say that that wasn't true. Could be lying. You know something else that should piss you off if you haven't heard it,ody or all of us is that hbo offered dnd the writers and the producers they're like hey the same budget will just give you multiple more episodes you can go up to 10 fuck it 12 if you want to and they're like no we don't need that time we'll just do it in six you know why i trying to get this shit done.

They've ruined this series. I have a theory that I came up with about what happened and why this all has gone down. I'm just making it up. I'm just assuming. Don't let that stop you. This is the only thing that makes sense in my mind.

This thing to take such a left turn. I think that they're getting... I think that they're getting, they have a fixed budget, right? Or a fixed pay scale. Like D&D get like, I'm making a number up, $100,000 an episode that goes to them. And no matter how many episodes,

that's what they get. But they have made one of the biggest shows of all time. It is the goose that's laying golden eggs. If they wanted to do another season, they could do another season. My thought process process is they want out of this current contract They want Game of Thrones over so that they can make the next project for HBO and then go to HBO and say hey Remember that billion dollars we made you on selling DVDs and and getting new subscriptions Do you want the next goose because next time it's half a million for each of us for each episode. That's a really bad negotiation technique

to write the show that kind of made your name in a way that all of your fans or the vast majority are upset with you by the end of the series and then trying to parlay that now ruined relationship into more business. Everyone's upset that they're doing Star Wars next. Quickly, that's a gorgeous bowl of ramen.

I wish I had one now. I wasn't hungry until I saw it. I'm just saying, it is very delicious. I showed it to everybody. The worst part of that whole episode, there's so much dumb shit, so much dumb shit that happened that just didn't make sense. The worst part, though, was the destruction of Jamie's entire storyline.

His entire up, down, up, down. His whole thing entire storyline his entire up down up down very you know it had been a and then like his whole thing at the end or saying like why he's going back like oh i don't i don't give a fuck about the people or the innocence and it's like you've it's been established five times with different quotes over the over the years since you took your initial good guy turn that you do care that was your rationale for killing the mad king that was the reason that you were trying to talk sense into so many you know bad or bad faith you know characters throughout the series and you were in your good thing and then he just i guess the only reason to go north for jamie was to fuck brianne and then he goes back and dies with cersei there it doesn't make

his so what was the fucking point of his entire story arc? Shit. Like, there was no growth. Well, here's the thing. He was always a piece of shit, though. He was good for a while, though. He did have moments. But here's... He saved Brayden's life. The bullet point of... War is complicated, right? So the Northmen come in.

They battle for, I don't know, 8, 12 minutes. And then start raping chicks. Right? Of course, Jon Snow protects the girl or whatever. They're eight minutes in. Arian, you expect them to take a break? This is a union job.

So anyway, eight minutes into the war, I think the timing's right on that, they start raping girls. They didn't even win yet, though. Yeah, I know. No, no, they rang the bells and shit but um uh and jorah warned him about that it's like kalisha you can't bring dothraki hordes into the it wasn't a dothraki it was a northman and that's important because it they were driving

home the point that war is ugly bad things happen and throughout the whole series they've been driving home the point of good is bad and bad is good it is these things are grayer than you think and all these gray characters as opposed to black and white was one of the beautiful parts about game of thrones but then it just got done really clumsily in a clumsy way i think it just got rushed they tried to fit it into six episodes and they got rushed i'm thoroughly happy and pleased with it still though because I couldn't I couldn't make a better show than that with what they did There's a beautiful. So however, they choose that's not the standard. I don't watch I don't watch and say, you know Arian Foster could have done better It's better than what Arian... I think he could've done better.

That's just how I gauge art in general, right? It's like, could I have... Not even could I, it's just like, I just appreciate what they gave to us. I still enjoy the episodes. They didn't give it though, Arian. They sold it to us. They did. I've never gone to a mechanic and been like ah well they my engine up but i couldn't have done better

that's different though i don't know it sounds exactly parallel i will say this aries you don't need a game of thrones that's true it's luxury you could have done a better job with the force awakens though you you could have done better oh i just i like that more than kyle star wars that's this i haven't seen the star wars oh you know i just avoid that shit star trek i mean yeah that's that's my shit oh you always get like there's these two crips in the bloods thing I love that you made that parallel I like the idea Some people love to hate things

And I love to love things I'm not quick to throw stuff at Game of Thrones all the time But after watching I'm like man That was an hour and 20 minutes maybe And it was like 50 minutes Of just dragons flying around Doing special effects

They did a lot. Okay, did y'all enjoy at least the episode before the war? Oh, we hated the war. I hated the war. I hated that. I didn't like that. The Battle of the Bastards was way better than that. Here's my thing.

That was a great war. Yeah, that was a great one. Episode two, everyone loved it. Loved it, right? They all knew they were going to die. They're singing around. Podrick sang, and he can sing? They've been keeping that bullet in the chamber for eight years now, and I'm amazed.

Huge cock, can sing. Yes. Knows how to cook. Cool guy. He's the killing machine. So episode two was amazing. And then episode three happened, and it made two worse. Because all of them sort of dealing with how they face their death didn't die.

Yeah. Yeah. I didn't like that. I'll say this. I didn't like the game bowl either. I didn't like it. And let me let me tell you. And look, we were waiting on it for so long that just seeing anything, I'm sure when it happened in the moment, we were all like, it's happening.

Finally. Good. Anything they put on the screen, I'm enjoying. That's how I was. But then I thought back, and I'm like, but wait a minute. The best fight in this show that there's ever been, I think, was when Oberyn Martell, the Red Viper of Dorne, fought the Mountain. No question.

They're out in the open. They're doing great fight choreography. Like, professional, like, best bet, as good as any movie. He killed that shit. It's bright daylight. We can see everything. They're actually fighting. You've got two very desperate fighting styles, completely different.

The quick, agile guy with the spear and the gigantic, powerful, lumbering guy with the long sword as big as a man. It was great to watch and the ending of course was just heart ripped a heart out of your chest as it was awful yeah the club was great the club like this the club was like was in that stairwell all dark and dusty and they kept cutting away from it so we could see Arya getting tossed about by rubble. I'm fine. I want to know what happens to Arya.

Make that a different fucking scene. Show me them fighting. Show me them fighting on that staircase. Arya's makeup was incredible. I was impacted by it. I was going to say, it was like eight season buildup

of the mountain and the how I'm about to go at it, and it was a little anticlimactic. But I enjoyed the way you took them out though. Yeah, into the fire. So my personal Clegane Bowl, I knew it was happening. I saw them head into the like they were headed up

the stairs, there's the rubble, he tells Arya to turn back. I cue up the video, because I know it's going down. And then I play this. I was so excited! And I played it, and I loved it, and it was everything I hoped it would be. Now this video plays for like four seconds and then there's silence so I forgot about it.

And I hear another... I heard yours. And then I heard another air horn. I'm like, oh, they put it in there. Okay, a little fan service, whatever. And then again, and then again, and again. Wait, wait, wait. You thought they put the air horn in the Game of Thrones? Because I'm hearing it and I don't understand why it's still playing.

Well, there's an autoplay of another air horn video on my computer and it fooled me for a bit and it wasn't the it was just a single air horn. Why are there so many air horn videos? Because it autoplayed

into like 10 hours of air horns and it just played one like blast and I'm like, oh, there was an air horn blast in game of thrones and then like another one and i'm like what the flip like why is there an air horn blast and yeah it's something else that sucked with the episode that i can i can get over a little bit if i try and rationalize it to myself and i've been reading explanations that have helped a little bit but it's like daenerys is just suddenly deciding to burn the city

doesn't make sense people will be like she's going I'm interested in your take she's going mad though and it's like well no people are confusing madness going crazy, mad for blood, mad for fire

with irrationality she's been irrational the entire series, but every time she's gone blood and gore, she's spared innocence. It's been, oh, this is the greater good to get people out of trouble. Oh, I'm crucifying these people because they're slave owners and they're evil and whatnot. And so for her to have already won the battle, for it to be over, she could fly straight to the red keep and burn cersei and all them if she wants and then she decides to just lay waste to everyone it just like maybe and the rationale i've heard is like oh she was so afraid of john stealing her her seat that she decided i have to establish fear among everyone so they don't betray me and it was just like it just doesn't

it doesn't feel like danny she's stressed so many times like i'm not my father's daughter in that way i'm not you know i'm not like that i'm not out to just burn and kill and everything so it just it didn't make that much sense to me right i thought that too and then i read this twitter thread right and it's my guy um and he's he's he put together a thread with all kind of receipts he said my thoughts on denarius targaryen and she's always been one of the most beloved characters this season is rushed hard to flesh out each character arc with that being said danny has shown multiple occasions the capacity and willingness to burn down cities a thread and he just went down and he named time as a time do you have him in front of you i do i do have him in

front of me i have to open thread up though because i just i'm glad because i was gonna i was gonna go down the same road as him, but I don't have the recall. All right, so, okay, Danny has... Do you want me to just put it to the mic? Oh, is it audio? He has clips from the actual show. It's insane.

Can we have the audio on here? No. Well, it's a pretty good mic, man. I can... Oh, you mean like, will YouTube get us in trouble? Not if he plays it through his mic. Yeah, it's not going to sound anything like the show. Fair enough.

Danny has explicitly said from the very early on her intentions of burning down whatever and whoever to take the Iron Throne. So don't act surprised that she burned down King's Landing. This was earlier. I think it was like season two or something like that. Yeah, I mean. I am Daenerys. There you you go i am not your little princess i am denarius stormborn of the blood of old valeria and i will take what is mine with fire and blood i will take it i am so like and it's just time after and this hold on this one um when the 13 of karth

uh karth turned danny away she told them uh when her dragons were grown they would burn cities to the ground turn this away and we'll burn you first when my dragons are grown we will take back what was stolen from me and destroy those who have wronged me we will lay waste to armies and burn cities to the ground. So like, it was just time after time after time after time, and I was like, yo, this is crazy you put that much work into it, but... The internet's crazy!

When you say, I'll burn cities to the ground, you don't mean you're gonna vacate the innocent people. You're gonna burn this shit down. So it's like, she has shown that throughout the entire of her character. There are a number of times she got talked back by Tyrion

or Barristan Selmy or whatever that guy's name was. Barristan Selmy, Jorah, Tyrion. Tyrion, by the way, who has become a retard in the last few seasons. He has not given a single piece of good advice in years at this point. His has not given a single piece of good advice in years

at this point. His character was making fun of him. The actor. The actor. Peter Dinklage was making fun of him. It was shit like fucking first of all, the way he sold out Varys. Varys, who is the only reason he escaped alive from King's Landing after he killed Tywin and his

fucking whore bride. His French whore bride. Which is also a funny part of the show. They're like, she's foreign, so she speaks with a French accent. But like, selling out Varys immediately, Varys' actor, by the way, came out

and was like, I feel like my character has been off the rails since the sixth season. He said that in an interview. And it just was not in keeping with Tyrion at all because he already had the look of concern of like, oh, I'm really stressed out that she's kind of losing her mind and getting unstable. And so I'm going to immediately sell out my friend to her.

Surely she won't burn him alive. Oh, but Varys, he's very sneaky. That's why he'll spend five hours writing on the same piece of paper a treasonous note in Daenerys is fucking Right a little faster right there is go from the smartest most cleverest guy ever Varys anterior and go from so clever and so smart to just blithering buffoons You know what might you know what bothers me?

No, you know what really bothers me you remember when the golden cut the Golden Company's been pumped up for like ever? Oh, the Golden Company are coming. And I was like, holy shit, the Golden Company, huh? Those sound like some hard motherfuckers. And they showed up, and they were dressed well. And then I played this video game called Total War. And in that, you control your armies. And there's actually a city defense mode where like two guys try to attack my city, and I've got walls, and I've got a smaller army, and they've got a bigger army to make up for the fact that I've got walls.

Because when you're behind the walls, it's real easy to defend the city. You're shooting down at them. They're trying to climb walls. You're swinging down. They're swinging up. It's literally, you hear the the idiom you know about punching down why did we send the entire golden company army outside the gates of the biggest city in the realm and have them line up in formation in front of the dothraki horde and the northman army why why aren't they on the wall so and by the way was there an archer at any point in that entire no

no they didn't put any archers on the fucking walls none they had um scorpions on the walls they didn't use them but scorpions on the wall i didn't see a single scorpion fire at a person and i didn't those scorpion operators you would have look if i'm the king of of of king's landing my scorpion operators had somebody's been slinging pots up in the air for months now. There's been some eight chest of gold reward for the guy who can hit the most pots in a row or some shit. You just pull, and then you're firing scorpions at pots.

Yeah, all right, I follow. These people are, you know, they're probably hungry. The winter just has ended. The magical winter. Like, look, fucking hundred pieces of gold to the best scorpion operator in the city. Now everybody, practice is free.

Everybody's showing up. There's long lines at the scorpions and somebody's watching, taking notes. That guy right there can operate a fucking scorpion. He's got the knack. Get it. Little Mikey, come over here. You're our Scorpion operator. Yeah, we'll pay you.

Yeah, yeah, we've got play. This is the plot of the 1980s movie Starfighter where they play a video game to save the planet. Use the Starfighter plot. All right? It's actually the last Starfighter. Thank you. That's not a good movie at all.

That's a good example of 1980s CGI. You know when they had Arya running through the city, dodging all the bricks falling and everything for like a half hour? Yeah. I wish that they had picked Sir Davos to be that guy. Because I've learned over this season that like he's the onion like yeah yeah the onion knight because he grew up in flea bottom in king's landing whereas aria has no connection there and so him running around dodging stuff

first of all when aria is running around at this point there is no fear or anxiety in my body i'm like she's gonna be fine they've established that she's not gonna die and so all these little like oh she did like those moments that were supposed to happen like i know i didn't feel that way but I'm like, she's going to be fine. They've established that she's not going to die. And so all these little like, oh, is she dead? Like those moments that were supposed to happen. Like I didn't feel that way. But if it was Sir Davos, first of all, he has a better connection to the city because he grew up in Flea Bottom. And so he could have that, you know, mortified or horrified look of like what's going on in his city at the time. Just all the places he used to know burned, all the people that he used to live by burned.

He's not a red shirt. Yeah, he's not a red shirt. burn but he's not a red shirt if he were done or yeah he's not a red shirt and if he were dodging those falls i'd be like oh shit davis hasn't gotten out of anything like with a deus ex machina or whatever the hell it is so he might actually be dead whereas you give him a mission right you give him a reason to have to go in there like like his his fucking great uncle is is at the blacksmiths and back in fleet bottom he's trying to get it out raping all those men the gold i don't know how he doesn't have a cook that was a nice little twist when gray worm decided like nah i'm just gonna murder people who already surrendered yeah that was wild that was a character i didn't mind because

i didn't really care about the golden company because they'd already proven they were useless those were the lannister armies. He was like... He flipped May Sunday, something like that. Yeah, she got offed right in front of him, so he kind of lost it. That's a good example of what I mentioned before, where like, G.R. Martin gave him

a bullet point. Okay. Greyworm's gonna flip over May Sunday. Masandre, something like that. Cersei is going to die. Lannister is going to be bad after all. Northmen are going to be rapists. They have all these things. War is ugly.

Good guys, bad guys alike. They're all going to do ugly things. Who's going to behave with honor? The Lannister army. Oddly. Jon Snow. I'm getting sick of his goodness. I'm getting tired of his goodness.

His goodness? I'm okay with it, but it needs to get him killed. Wait, wait. Hear me out. He could have just thrown Danny some dick. Yeah, listen. So I bet you had no problem with Ned's goodness, right? Ned, that's who he was.

He was good. That was my guy. Right? And he got killed. So I am happy for that to happen to Jon Snow. I was going to be cool if Jon Snow died. I wasn't hanging on him. I was just Arya. If Arya died,

I would have been pissed. I want them to kill someone I don't want to die. At that point, at this point, it's just... I don't care if Tyrion dies because he hasn't been clever in years. I don't care what the fuck happens anymore. Jon is the only... I'm right. Jon is a fucking

idiot. How many times can he make the same mistakes? Here's who I want the last episode to be. I want fucking Ned Stark to wake the fuck up and look at Catelyn and be like, I just had the most horrible dream. What was it? St. Elsewhere 5 or something?

By the way, the wars. Kick Theon the fuck out! I would unsubscribe from HBO. He wakes up and he's still talking to Robert Baratheon in Winterfell and he's like, that's why I can't go to King's Landing.

You've always had a wild imagination. There's no way that's going to happen. I love that. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere. Ned's death was actually the point where I was

hooked. I was like, yo, this is really good. This is really good. Robb Stark. They offed him and I was like, son, this is probably the best shit I've ever seen. I didn't think they were going to do that shit. And then, if you're like me, you spend another, is it one or two years investing emotionally in Robb Stark who were going to do that shit. And then, if you're like me, you spend another, is it one or two years,

investing emotionally in Rob Stark who's going to make this right. I hated him. Oh, I hated that dude. I hated that dude too. He had the perfect opportunities to win. Just spying. Corny. Oh, okay.

He was the guy I put all my chips in. Hated Sansa. Couldn't stand Sansa from the beginning. I still hate Sansa. Hate her now. Hate her now. Even when she came and saved Jon Snow, I was like, oh, fuck this bitch. Sansa, I'm on your team. I think you're just fine.

I hated Sansa. Who else did I hate? Cersei, given everybody hates Cersei. You know what? On that topic, though, Joffrey. Oh, my God. hate cersei yeah you know what on that topic though joffrey oh my god joffrey's performance and script and whole package was so amazing i wasn't able to separate the character from the actor until the actor outlived him i hated him so much that i didn't think about none of that shit

yeah yeah it wasn't until afterwards after he died like, oh, I appreciate what you did for me. Like, I felt something around Joffrey. You know who actually fucking sucked? Who the worst character in this whole show is? Is Euron Greyjoy. That fucking pirate who can teleport around and just wants to get in Cersei's hands. At no point have I been interested by that guy. Euron Greyjoy had the best character.

Like, his character was motivated by fucking cersei then he fucked cersei and then he died that's an arc i can get on board with i'm okay with and when he when he washes up on the beach in the exact same spot where jamie is yeah he's like i'm gonna take your head to cersei and it's like why why what why you're not gonna that was a that was a duel that didn't need to happen. They were never really at odds. It was set up. I was like, they've met before, right?

Yeah. Exactly. I was like, they met with the white, right? When they brought the zombie to Cersei, they were on that scene. That was a year ago. Before that too, he was making fun of his hand and yeah okay i'm like you know jamie hit that hand and

sweat i'm not jamie lannister you're probably woman yeah i guess not i just swam eight miles i'm a little out of it make a fountain you know how hard it is to swim and choose the one thing i think the one thing i think is unforgivable from the writers though is that it cersei deserved a way worse death than that she had the easiest way out she died in like this romantic way like with her dude would you would you like to see her slowly poisoned would you like to see her slowly poisoned? Would you like to see her embarrassed? I would love to see Arya stick the needle in her throat like 17 times. What if Arya wore Jaime's face

and... Fire. That's what I expected. I expected some kind of twist where Arya went back to the... She wore Jaime's face. Jaime says something to Cersei that warms her heart and then betrayal and then you find out it's... You know what one of the best moments of the whole series was for me?

It was when Arya killed Walder Frey. When she pulled off that... That's an underrated moment right there because for two years, ever since the Red Wedding, whenever we would discuss this show, we're all big fans obviously,

I'd be like, people would be like when are the dragons gonna do this and what's what's gonna happen in this city over in essos and what's rob gonna or our you know what's uh john snow gonna do if he becomes lord commander and i'm just like i don't give a fuck about any of that when are we gonna deal with those fucking frays they're still fucking down there chilling in their castle laughing about this shit with their silly ass hats. God. I hated their hat I hate those hats. Mmm their whole costumes bad I was mad cuz it so they killed off one of the I got to the two the most beautiful women on the show was Miss Sunday to me and then John's

Rob Starks girl the new one he yeah, yeah friend. She was bad. The redhead? The northerner? No, no. The one that Robb marries when he's not supposed to marry. Oh, Robb Stark's girl. I'm sorry. Thank you. He got stabbed in the belly. Pregnant.

Yeah. That was the best part of the whole series. The best part of the whole series was the redhead. I think we just learned about Arianne's other porn fetish. The hottest chick was the pregnant one, man. Like Robb Stark's girl, she got big. Pregnant and old women. Pregnant and old pregnant women. The hottest chick was the pregnant one, man. Like Rob Starks' girl, she got big. Pregnant and old women.

Pregnant and old pregnant women. Ooh, yeah. This baby's probably going to have Down syndrome. Oh, no. Like a blonde Chinese. They rare. Like a blonde Chinese. They are, though. Yeah, they are rare.

I've never heard of that. Not natural, anyway. You know what else was weird with it? I'll Google that real quick. I felt like it was pretty established that after the Battle of Winterfell that Dany's army had been demolished. The Unsullied had been slaughtered.

The Dothraki, thousands and thousands of them wiped out and then now even in like the the teaser for the next episode after this episode like she's got a huge army again it's like i don't know it just felt like beyond that she had a huge army like you said but i felt like at the end of the battle of winterfell we didn't know what they had like we didn't think they would beat circe that was a real question and I want to say even the characters were like, dude, this is a whole other thing now. Cersei's plan of wiping us out and not being able to beat her is a problem. And then they're doing the strategy, the strategizing,

and they acted like it was even, like it could go either way. But then by two episodes ago, suddenly they're like, look, you should really just quit. We all know how this ends. We are so op compared to you and they were the eight minutes in they're like ringing the bells they it wasn't even close it wasn't even it wasn't a fight at all like one dragon is is is so fucking overpowered that like depending on the episode i i really like cersei one thing i i did kind of like

was cersei's reaction she was like well you're on you know he's killed a dragon before he'll kill another one and and he's like my queen um the ironborn fleet is burning at the bottom of the bay oh well we have plenty of scorpions on the walls my lady all of this all of the scorpions have been destroyed well the the golden company has never been defeated in the field of my lady the golden company were burnt and then the survivors were raped to death by the cockless, the Lannister army fights better than any sellsword. My lady, the Lannister army has thrown down their weapons, and then they were slaughtered by the Northmen, and then they were raped by the Northmen.

But there's one more part I wanted to see if you went there, because the next thing she said was, well, the Red Keep has never fallen. And it's like, how'd you get here, bitch? You and Robert Baratheon made the Red Keep fall. You did it! How did you forget what you did? Aside from me,

a few years ago, this has never fallen. And the army that made it fall is being absolutely raped. Aside from me a few years ago, and then my father a few years before that, never! never oh and then that time way before that when the Targaryens did it but but I mean just the three times before now like the other like come on like like I want a little bit I want a little bit of a positive spin on the

episode I know Arian liked it like what was the stuff that you liked about it? I liked the fight scene. I liked that Cersei died. I did like that. But I just didn't like how she died. She deserved, like I said, a more blue. Did Grey Worm die? No. Grey Worm did not die. No.

He should have. I don't give a fuck about that, dude. You like Grey Worm? I love Grey Worm. No, I think we're going to see the rest of his character arc. I want to see bad guy Grey Worm and how he finishes. A thousand percent. Side note, I found out he does music

and it's fucking dope. It's really dope. I found out he has a dick in real life. And it's dope. I found that out. And it's fucking. Sorry, I stepped on what Ariam was saying. Go ahead. No, I'm sorry. I stepped on what Arium was saying. Go ahead.

No, I liked it. It's like I said earlier. I don't look at it like I would have done this. You know what I'm saying? I enjoyed the episode. This has taken years from my life, and I appreciate that they – I'm mad it's end in this this comes on I want people to say this about D&D

they do a book adaptation better than anyone has done a book adaptation perhaps in the history of cinema that's what I'm describing also it's literally why I threw in perhaps because that was also very good and

Harry Potter now what they don't do is like original work and that's that's what they did with the last couple seasons so i choose to read anything that i'm not gonna learn from hollywood i know you're watching use dnd for book adaptations and not for like grass field open projects yeah um i'll tell you what i hope happens next episode I hope Tyrion's in big fucking trouble For letting Jaime go And there is a trial by combat

And she chooses Grey Worm As her champion And Jon Snow steps up for Tyrion And Grey Worm And Jon Snow fucking kills Grey Worm I like it And then he kills Dany And then he takes the black

And the Kingdom ends up being ruled by And then he kills Dany, and then he takes the Black, and the kingdom ends up being ruled by some sort of fucking tribunal or some shit made up of Samuel Tarly. No, if it's Sam or Bran who get put in charge, especially

Sam. Well, Sam's not going to get put in charge because he's not even good enough for his own family, apparently. But if they're like, well, the Starks, John wants to go take the black. And so who are the other Starks? Oh, well, Bran, this fucking weirdo is the oldest male. I guess he gets to be in charge. He's on my nerves.

He's on my nerves. Which one? Bran, Bran, whatever. Okay. All this cryptic shit, man. Just say it. You're over there talking in poems and shit. Like, oh, yeah. Tell this cryptic shit, man. Just say it. You're over there talking in poems and shit. Like, oh, I hate it.

Tell me what's happening, bro. Tell me what is happening. Lay it out like you just saw the episode. Yeah, bro. It's just ridiculous. If I tell you what's going to happen. I tried to ask him what we should do in the battle, but he told me a riddle.

And I don't care. Quick, I need some help. What walks on two legs as an adult and three legs as a child? And it's his fault. The whole shit was rushed anyway. Yeah, Bran is annoying as shit. Bum.

He has given no useful advice to anyone. Zero. And I hope that they just wheel him into a corner and facing a wall. That's the last thing we see of Bran. Let him throw a broomstick down behind his beard and walk away. Try and move this. Horrible.

That's so funny. No, fuck Bran. It would be so funny if nothing ended up happening with him, though, where it was just a whole storyline. Nothing's going to. Kyle, have you seen the spoilers? I suspect you end up as being like oh i don't want spoilers i don't watch the teaser for the next episode i i'm with you but i couldn't i know it's spoilers leak there are spoilers on reddit they have proven to be reliable thus far and i'm not going to say

anymore yeah don't do that don't do that but my lady had a theory that was interesting she thinks just a couple things. She thinks that Bronn was actually the Night King and she went into a reason why it was pretty dope. Did you mean Bronn the sellsword or Bran the kid? The wheelchair cat. Oh, Bran.

Because there's a Bronn too. That's why. That's what I meant. That's the guy. I hate this dude. And then she said she feels like Arya is going to kill Dany. That would be dope. I hate this dude. And then she feels like Arya's gonna kill Dany. That would be dope. I'll be okay with that. I want to see Gendry run shit. That's my...

If Woody were king. Did you read it? No. Gendry is the one that fucked Arya. Oh, no. He weak. He's not weak. He's a Baratheon. He has a He's weak. He's not weak? No, I don't like him that much. He's a Baratheon. He has a claim

to the throne that's not from a line of madness. What'd you say? He makes what? He makes swords. He makes swords. He fights. He got his first piece of tail and he got hooked like that. That was his second piece of tail. It was actually his third.

It's part of the story, or fourth. But he also fucked Smoke Virginia. He's just a medieval triathlete. He's a long distance runner, long distance paddler. I don't know what the third one would be, but hammerer. I like it.

A simp. I'm glad the show's fucking over. You're so bad. Don't you want to like the show i don't hate it that much like i'm just i'm not angry about it it's literally the best thing on tv right now it's just not as good as game of thrones yeah don't don't let it leave with a sour taste in your mouth though remember it for what it was and how it pulled you in all these years you you literally we sat here for what i don't know how long 30 minutes talking about intricacies of the character plots I like I had you bro. Don't give me that shit

Now it's bad it's and what they do they're doing now spoils the rest I won't share this with me now in the future like in the future I like to this day spreaders has been off the air for what ten years. I still go though watch the Sopranos I still go watch the wire i'm never gonna tell somebody else to watch game of thrones i'm never gonna be like watch game of thrones you won't believe this show because they're gonna get like six to the sixth season and they're gonna be like well what the fuck happened i remember five seasons in i'd meet someone who didn't watch game of thrones and i was excited like i met a virgin who didn't realize

there was something cool out there. Like, dude, you're gonna love this. That's what sex is and that's what Game of Thrones like, dude, you don't know but I envy that you have this life experience that you haven't started on yet. And now, it's

still good. Yeah, I'm not gonna recommend it to people. I wouldn't recommend Game of Thrones to someone to watch as a good show. I would. The seasons are still so good, though. Even with the ending the way that it's ending, I think. I think that, you know,

it's a top 5, 10 show. No question. Not even clear. Of course it is. Yeah. Of course it is. Even with a shitty ending, it's still better than most stuff. But if fucking Daenerys survives, I will be pissed. But if anybody but Jon kills her, I also will not like that at all. I would be happy if we got a little twist there. Jon has been the good guy, the hero, the perfect person for eight years now.

Let Brienne kill her. good guy, the hero, the perfect person for eight years now. Let Brienne kill her. Now, Brienne's up north just, you know... Taylor, there's fast travel in this game. That doesn't mean anything. She could have ran for six days. I'm okay with Jon Snow dying, too.

You're way too good, bro. You gotta cut that shit out. If he goes back to the wall, what would be the point? What would be the point of that? What are they protecting it from now? That'd be gross. Yeah, that would be gross.

It wouldn't be wild. That would be illogical for him to go back to the wall. Yeah, that would be gold-plated retardation. He didn't like the wall. I don't know. He liked't like the wall. Like, I don't know. He liked being in the Night's Watch. The Night's Watch. It kind of killed him.

Well, I mean, but he liked being in charge of it, and he was all honorable about it. I don't remember him enjoying his Night's Watch experience like you do. I remember him always having something horribly wrong. He wasn't a fighter.

He was like a cook or cleaner or something like that. He wasn't a leader until he was. A steward. A steward, thank you. He had personality conflicts with people all over the place. Like, I don't remember him enjoying his Night's Watch time. I hope we get to watch Sam die. Yeah, he pissed me off.

Maybe of starvation Surprise There's 30 more episodes Cause Sam's got some stored up energy What I appreciate about this show Is that it's rare It's really rare that A show that has

Like if you was to tell me A show that has dragons And brings dead zombies and like all of this crazy shit like it wouldn't capture the audience of america like this right it's just rare shows don't do those sci-fi shits usually there's a pocket of people that like that kind of stuff this captured all spectrum of people in america and that's what i loved about the show i'm trying to cheer k Kyle up over here. I like that you said that. It's a criticism

that I've had the opposite of Avatar. My audience have heard me say this, but I'll say it quick for Arian. Avatar is now the second highest grossing film ever. It was like something $2.7 billion. Everyone has seen it, but it's not part of the culture. No one quotes Avatar. I can't think of an Avatar quote.

The writing was it didn't do what star wars did get down from that tree you blue bitch it didn't do what rocky did it didn't like you know apollo dying is like imprinted on our heads avatar like i'm pretty sure people died in that too but like it just looked really dope yeah they're supposed to be making a two aren't they it's supposed to be making a two, aren't they? They're making a two, a three, a four, and a five. I didn't need all that. I'm with Ariel.

It's just Disney taking over. It would be fine. Are they going to turn green by the fourth one? Because if not... People look at movies now and they assign politics to it. I don't do that so much. I do just with murderers. We covered this before.

I want to know who they voted for. But now everyone's like, this looks like a little bit of girl power. This looks a little bit like this. Avatar was so environmentally. Really? Like, what's 007's political stance? Always doing what? Music has always been infused.

Music, yeah, music. But movies have always been infused with politics. Like all the time. I think now we just live in this society where you're getting your politics every single day and we're not used to that. So now we see it as a little more prevalent. But that's been an undercurrent of – Like I see Reservoir Dogs and I see a movie about a bank heist maybe that went wrong. Kyle, what was it?

What went wrong? It was a diamond distributor. Diamond heist. Okay. But I don't see like – I don't know if any of those people are Democrats or Republicans. But I watch Avatar and I can tell you for sure all those blue people voted for Hillary, right? Because they're all trying to save the environment. That's what the movie is about.

There's like an oil driller versus a tree hugger. I mean, damn, though. They fucked up the trees. They had synapses in them. That was different, bro. It's not just giving oxygen. That shit was a lie. That shit was great. I didn't like their sex scene where they just kind of plug in

with each other. Oh, Arian, answer to my earlier question. That's the kind of porn I like. Yeah, what is it? Avatar porn? Avatar tentacle hair porn. I like when CGI dreadlocks intertwine. Yo, you click the cartoon porn? Just Avatar in particular. A little Overwatch, maybe.

I've never known anybody to like the cartoon porn. I see it all the time and I'm like, that's so weird. Why would you? And I just keep scrolling. You gotta give it a try. Especially if you can get like a genre clash. Like if you can get like... It's not a real person though. Shut up. If you can get Marge Simpson

fucking Lois Griffin from Family Guy like maybe Homer's watching, jerking What does that actually get you off to? Like 30 seconds. Marge, get over here and suck my dick i even tried i would like i ran across the cartoon porn and i'm like i'm not really into this or whatever but i've been playing a lot of life for dead let's see what zoe's up to it wasn't for me

i couldn't even i would just like looking for a plot or something this isn't that oh i got a new topic here except what i'll tell you i'll take that back can we do my topic first real quick for ari and i want him elastigirl is thick as fuck i love elastigirl man she's from the incredibles oh elastigirl dude that's the only time i've been i've seen a character and i was like yo that's what's funny about elastigirl is that she's elastigirl she can look like anything she wants and she chooses thick as fuck she's just thick elastigirl isn't just she can't just stretch her arm really far like stretch armstrong she can like give herself a plump her ass she could just be a foot taller

so she could look that might be her regular form i I mean, for all we know, she's just thick. You know what I mean? I don't know if she's looking out. But she could choose something else. But wouldn't it be like flexing a muscle all the time if she's doing something else? Yeah, she'd probably get tired of that. This is her true form. That's what I'm going with. I choose to believe that as well.

And another side note, Jack-Jack is the best superhero of all time in any universe. Who's Jack-Jack? He's the son. I guess you're not an Incredibles guy. I saw the first one when it came out years and years ago. You might remember at the very end, Jack-Jack gets powers. He torments the babysitter. Oh, the baby. What are his powers?

All of them. Name it. He can fly. He's super strong. I think he has some fire breath and some laser eyes. He can multiply. He can go into another dimension. He is ridiculously OP, except for the part that he's like six months old and stupid.

Irrelevant. When he gets older, he's going to be the greatest superhero of all time. Right. It's currently relevant. Maybe. Well, they're actually going to make an Incredibles 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Man. I would be okay with that, but Avatar or 4, 5, let's just see how 2 goes, man. Yeah.

They already made 2 and 3. 2 and 3 are made. Where the fuck are they? They start releasing next year. And Avatar 5 is supposed to come out in 2027. Yeah. This is going to be dead. That's fucked up.

Disney runs the world. It's like two presidents from now. I'm saying. Was Avatar 10 years ago? I think it was 2009. That's 10 years. Are they the same actors? That's what I'm saying.

It's too far apart. That's even Game of Thrones. A lot of these people don't look like they did when the show started. Although The Incredibles was like a 14 year gap and i still enjoyed it and those characters didn't age a day no jack jack was still a baby they already started filming the game of thrones prequel as well really yeah wait the game of thrones prequel are you talking about lord of

the rings or game of thrones i'm talking about game of thrones i didn't even know they were shooting a prequel yeah it's we talked it on the show before I don't think so I mean we talked about the idea of it but it's 5000 years before where we are now you're going to see it's pretty stupid what it's going to be about because now we've seen the end

it's going to be about the origin of the White Walkers and it's going to be about the children of the forest and it's like why do you fucking care where the White Walkers and it's going to be about the the children of the forest and it's like why do you fucking care where the white walkers came from when we know that they're just a fucking like nothing burger that like the white walkers are some dudes that like flex real hard and then they show up and get their asses kicked like i i did the the white walkers again they just didn't fill it out properly right like the the way that they were built up, that worked really well.

That was a book adaptation. But when it came time to actually battle them, we all knew. Harley Morrison came on the show and said, hey, everyone thinks they're zombies. They're vampires. You kill the head vampire, the rest died. I think we all said it. But I remember it was the Harley episode where he laid it out. And then that happened, and everyone was like, oh.

What a letdown. But Woody, did you read the books? Definitely me. Yeah, but audiobook. That's a whole other thing right there. If you read the audiobook, you read the book. It's just... Oh, I see. To me, reading with your eyes is more

prestigious. There's a thing. It's prestigious. Yeah, there's this hierarchy. And people think that if you have an audio book, you didn't really read it. Like, what the fuck do you have? I got the same words you did. Yeah, and I had an old man say funny accents the whole time. So I was really the idiot. The horn.

There's a whole debate. There's a whole debate online. You can probably have some Reddit about it. Probably. Imagine being such a fucking loser that you try and get up on someone because you read the book and they listened to it. Good lord, get a hobby.

There's people who don't think you really read it. Like, okay, is there any piece of information that you got that I didn't? Does audible.com have the written book too? And this upsets you, why? Does anyone know, does audible.com have the written book too? And this upsets you, why? Does anyone know, does audible.com have the written book? I think it's just audio Oh, they have a thing

I've actually been using it a little bit Where I listen to it on my phone in the car And then I'll come home and maybe a different time Listen to it on my computer And then when my phone goes, it goes to where I left off It's kind of nice to do that I read I read books that I

feel like I'm going to enjoy and then I do the audio books that I want the information but I don't want to read it. That's how I do my life. Lately I've been doing fiction audio books in case anybody was wondering. Let me do an ad read.

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mattresses and you should too yeah we really do yeah i like a fool didn't use the pka um coupon code nor did i yeah shit i know i threw away money i it was afterwards i realized like oh dope but um you said you um they've stepped away so we can uh you said you had a topic you wanted to go to mine is the coach what's yours oh yeah so yours did you get yours from choose mine is also from choosing and i was yeah i was excited about it but i there's no reason my needs to go first it was the um the guy yelling at the other gentleman yeah i thought the coach was interesting because all of you guys have like you've been coached before in various sports we've all had coaches especially arian of course like on a whole nother level but i'll wait till uh taylor gets back but yeah arian uh we're gonna watch this

little video whenever taylor gets back that i link the uh this is this is this is from a subreddit called uh this subreddit's called public freak out we have a couple topics from there tonight yeah yeah they make good content on over there and it's pretty self-explanatory what a public freak out is and it's they're always pretty good uh this one's pretty interesting it is a i'm guessing. You haven't watched the clip yet? No, I've watched it. I'm just wondering what level of sport this is. Is this high school?

This is high school. Because she's underage, it almost has to be. Or middle. But I think it's high. This is a high school basketball girls coach and he is going to act very inappropriately during the game to one of his uh students but i want to get taylor in here so we can all watch it together i thought this is reddit bro i didn't

know how cracking they should yeah man i think this is an interesting topic topic because i was just telling the woody and the audience that it can be a little addictive arian oh you've been warned get the app on your phone that's what you do get like okay it's there with facebook and instagram right now it's a time killer man like like like if i if i'm ever waiting at like for an appointment or i'm just chilling or i'm i can't get to sleep at night or whatever i'm on reddit just fucking scrolling a habit that i'm actually breaking is like wondering what's on reddit today like oh yeah i haven't kept up Reddit today. Like, I'm behind on some task that should be completed. That's how I felt about Twitter.

There's nothing wrong with that, though. Because Reddit will... There are better things to do with my life. It's not as true as it once was. But Reddit would often have... Like, if there was a school shooting, Reddit would know about it before CNN knew about it. Like, you would have the students at the fucking school

in the fucking subreddit comments. Kind of like Twitter in that it can be more current, but you need to have a sharp internet filter. I use Twitter more than I use Reddit. Taylor, I got a link here. We're going to queue up. I thought this was interesting. Again, I'll say for the third time because we've all played sports. We've all been coached

before. This is a high school girls basketball coach. I think all been coached before. This is a high school girls basketball coach. I think you want volume for this. I'm ready. I'm cute at zero. Give me one moment, please. I don't think I can frame it better. It was better before.

Are you guys ready? Ready, set, play. That's loud. This girl wants to get in, and she's not allowed. She's given some toot. Multiple slaps. Two slaps and a hair hole, maybe? Slapping her.

No. He lost his mind. The ref came over like, personal foul! Slapping her. It looks like the ref came over and he was like, dude, no, no. So for those of you just listening, a grown-ass man coach just slapped what looks like a 15-year-old girl in the face twice. A player. A basketball player. Yeah. He slapped her twice in the face twice. A player. A basketball player.

Yeah. He slapped her twice in the face and then grabbed her by, you can't really tell, but I'm guessing by the jaw, ear area. And got in her face like, I make the rules around here kind of talk. So my understanding is the girls were going back to the field of play, the court. And she was going with the group and probably knew she wasn't supposed to. I'm making that part up. So he grabs her by the arm, sits her down, and that's when the slapping and head grabbing. But here's a counterpoint.

Maybe she's really bad at bad. A few more slaps and she'll be mediocre. Arian, did you read any more into that like like did you see that she wasn't supposed to be going with those girls you think she knew she wasn't supposed to be going with those girls no matter bro there's nothing doing nothing i i got it i got a nine-year-old daughter i got a nine-year-old daughter so she's almost 15 if if that ever even got close to such a mistake that i'm going to jail that night. You're going to have to pry me off that dude.

Get the fuck out of here. First of all, it didn't even look like it was a varsity game. It didn't look like that to me. I like that. First of all, she kind of sucked at basketball. Let's lay that down. That coach is lucky he didn't slap a white girl or her father would have been there. Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck. Oh, no. I'm going to step over the stereotype. I'm going to continue with my point. Yeah. But the fact that he's taking the game that seriously, dog, like, what is wrong with you? Like, why do you feel like you slapping a little girl is gonna make your team perform any better no it doesn't matter that she's a girl yes it matters yeah it's worse than it's a girl it's worse it that is so sexist

it doesn't matter no it doesn't matter in the sense of his disrespect but a grown man hitting a little girl like that is is but if it was a 15 year old boy it'd be less of an offense it'd be less of an offense it's not it's not less of an offense definitely less it's definitely less it's not less it's not less first of all that's a big ass girl let's all let's all be real here because maybe it's a small man maybe it is varsity this is gonna happen if you hit a 15 year old boy like that depending on where and who you say his father isn't there kyle likely he's not that little man's gonna hit you right back and so that's my issue with it is like you know and it's my issue oh my dad would have been on there would have been fisticuffs on

the court of play the ref wouldn't have made it there first my dad would have there would have been a fight your father went to your games oh Oh, poor Lee. He went to one. He did go to one. Oh, come on. My mom was holding the camera and my dad was next to her every game. We had a rivalry game. It was a big one. Yeah, he was there.

If anything, I was embarrassed because I was a goalie in ice hockey. And there's no way to move and distract. You're a net. That's where you are the whole game. And so my mom would be there like, Taylor! Woo! Woo! The puck's on the other side of the ice.

I'm just standing there. And I would just be like, oh, this is so embarrassing. Every strikeout, my mom's like, yeah, Kyle, yeah! But in retrospect, I really appreciated that. At the time, I was like a too cool for school you know teenager but now looking back it's like no your parents loved you and they were just proud of you and that was very very sweet oh i always appreciate it um i appreciate it but it never helped me play it just sort of distracted me from like like like i couldn't stay focused on the task at hand because

i was like fucking i'd like it if it was dead silent out here. I can't recall them ever cheering. What's the perfect parental behavior? It depends on you. Just chill. Don't make a scene. Cheer, but you ain't got to bring signs and all that shit. You ain't got to. Just enjoy the game, man.

Remember at the end of that movie Old School where Bernard throws the lawn chair Like he gets he gets kicked at he's the coach of the girls soccer team. Okay The ref is like you're out of here like kicks him. He's like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah Well, let's make it official then you jack anyway throws a lawn chair They Texas whistle and his clipboard gives it to his wife when you see like Little League, and you'll see parents over the top just on the refs, and you're like, dog, you got to put it into context.

The man doesn't want to be a Little League ref. He didn't grow up like, yo, I want to know the ref. He's probably either just being a good dude, like, yeah, I'll ref the game, or he's like, it's a side gig for him, so he's trying try to make it like you just like get off get off the ref like this is not yeah what he does though did you ever play beer league hockey taylor uh no oh no i haven't here league hockey oh that's the term for like amateur men who have mortgages and are regular people who play hockey as adults. It's like a men's league kind of hockey. I have a lot of friends who play,

but I've put in my time. I don't want to play goalie anymore. I want to play forward or something and get a chance to score. If I went into a beer league as a goalie, I haven't played in nine years, I would still be the best goalie in the league. One of them.

It probably depends on the league. I get like one of them depends on the guarantee. I think if you played, it depends on the league. I was real fun. Well, actually my flexibility, cause I used to like being goalie and like playing pretty high level ice hockey. Like I had, you have to be able to do the splits and be fucking really flexible.

And like, it was probably like four years ago now. Cause I used to be able to do the splits. Cause you have to be able to get your legs all the way across. And I was like, wonder, I wonder how far I can get now. And I got like as far down as jeans would allow me.

I was just like, oh, I'm feeling it now. So I would probably end up injuring myself more than be any good. I'd probably actually suck. I've said it again and again. All my friends are always like, oh, we need someone. You want to play beer league with us? I'm like, yeah, I'd love to play forward or defense or just something like that and they're like ah yeah no no we see you in goal i'm like oh well then no i'm not playing i don't want to be going that's petty man yeah

it is a little petty well arian would you play goalie no well no not me that that position sucks i'm not playing hockey it's that's like playing punching bag you wouldn't give hockey a go arian i'm not like opposed to it i just i can't skate so it's like i know i'm not gonna be good at it yeah that is an integral part of hockey yeah yeah it's all of your locomotion i could stay up but it's like if you want me to like avoid people nah you'd be good at uh giving out checks and probably receiving checks Yeah, yeah, I'm great at that. Do you guys want to see my video that I was excited about? It's just linked it and I was excited about it

There and what's the what's the back story on this one? Oh, I'm a public freak out I Think it's self-explanatory. I think you'll be able to keep up. I've seen it too. Are you guys ready? Oh? Yes, I am ready. Ready, set, play. Get me and my fucking wife, bitch! So could you leave my fucking car? I hope you have insurance, motherfucker! Get the fuck out of my car!

I'll beat your fucking ass! So the Reddit post was titled, Guy freaks out over his car being slightly bumped. This guy's about to cry. The one screaming is so red-faced and exasperating. It's totally Roy Braves, by the way. This is what Roy Braves looks like. I see it differently.

I'm interested in your opinion, though. He's the type of dude that when you get out of the car, he gets one shot. He's slept. One shot. This guy has no control. You think the guy yelling is going to lose a fight? Oh, no. He's going to get slept the first swing. Maybe against

you. Are you seeing the same driver that I am? No. Look at him. Anybody barking this much and you haven't broke a window You fucking you ever tried to break the window of the car. Let's go. Yes The side windows are No, he told us that story He's like no, this is all this is what we call selling wolf tickets.

I know the term. Yeah, I'm familiar as well. I feel like he's about to back up into traffic. Right? So there's a turn happening here in the next couple of seconds. But he's still freaking out. Oh, yeah, he's explaining himself. I think he thinks he got back up green shirt dip in that's cool oh wait if you haven't picked it out these all

got these guys look like active army to me but my point though right here this is my point my point is as you see as soon as the cat started grabbing him, he got extra irate. That's a telltale sign of you ain't going to do shit. You think so? I've said it a thousand times, man. Anytime, you know, the dude that like, hold me back, man. Hold, like, go get, it's a window, dog. You can, you can, come on.

It's a window, dog. I have a wildly different analysis than you guys I'm waiting for this video and it's about 17 seconds what do you think this guy's cool as fuck he's my cool guy this is the Woody's Gamertag cool guy of the week yeah the guy who took a man's because we. I want to see the damage on the car. Yeah, if he didn't catch it, he'd kick the side of the door at one point. All the window slapping, of course, didn't do much.

But he could... I'm guessing he's wearing boots. Oh, no, I meant like the initial bump. Oh, yeah, you don't... We don't see that. But here's my... I think it's not... I don't know that he's soft like Arian does.

I don't know that he's roid like Kyle does I projected something different onto him which was PTSD say again something's wrong I got rear ended in Iraq the paramotor community has a couple army guys in it

a lot of army people get into it for some reason and it gives me a little exposure to like The paramotor community has a couple army guys in it. A lot of army people get into it for some reason. And it gives me a little exposure to like – I have one friend in particular. He's on a podcast and he's doing great. He's kind of like joking. He's talking about whatever. And then somehow the topic flows into war and he's like, dude, adjusting from – like to come home from war is one of the hardest things that a human can endure. And it just sat heavy on me when I heard him say the words.

And I have, because of my friend's set, I have an enlightened kind of exposure to it. And when I see this guy freaking out over a car bump back in the States, I'm like, I wonder if he's having a hard time adjusting to being home. That's what I projected on him.

That would be giving him too much leeway. I think he's, my analysis is that this guy's a cunt and I wish that the green shirt guy who had that fat lip in would have popped him one.

That would have been cool. No, no, no, no. I got one better. I wish that a car shirt guy who had that fat lip in would have popped him one. Yep. That would have been cool. No, no, no, no. I got one better. I wish that a car, when he backed up and he was running like this, I wish it had been like a scene out of Final Destination when like a bus just comes out of nowhere. Like you don't even hear it coming. It's just somebody's just like, oh, yeah, I see it.

Becky's house time. And it just fucking nails the person and splatters them everywhere. I needed that to happen. If I'm wrong, I'm on your team. If I'm not, my heart opens to a guy. Hey, a great man once came on this show and said, hurt people hurt people.

Right? That's what I'm putting on it. I don't care if that guy's a Medal of Honor winner. I don't give a fuck how many tours in Iraq, Afghanistan, and fucking, I don't give a fuck how many tours in iraq afghanistan and fucking i don't care if he was in vietnam i can say i can sympathize i can sympathize with that because um one of my podcast guests was a guy by the name of nicholas irving and he was a basketball player no no he was an army sniper and like he he talks about like all of that. He talks about the first time he killed

the dude. He talks about all of that stuff. It was a really dope conversation. That was one of the things he talked about. Coming back, he went into alcohol. It got really deep for him. He found his way out. He's on the other side of sadness. He didn't scream at people in traffic, though.

I guarantee he didn't. We don't know. A friend of a friend got into alcohol when he came back from war. I've talked about it before, but he didn't scream at people in traffic, though. I guarantee he didn't. We don't know. I don't know. A friend of a friend got into alcohol when he came back from war. And I've talked about it before, but this guy I'm talking about is a medic. My friend had a heart attack, and he didn't diagnose it right. My friend was more damaged than he would have been had he gotten perfect medical care. It ate up the medic so much that he drank himself to death and died. You've got to let those go. You're going to win some, you're going to lose some.

I think that's true. If you're a medical person, you do win some and lose some, right? Yeah, absolutely. Like a fireman. You're not going to find every kid in the house. You're really not. That's true. If you can get 80% of the kids.

I'm glad Woody's co-signing these things that I'm saying through the tongue and cheek. No, I'm with you% of the kids. I'm glad Woody's cosigning these things. Not that I'm saying through the tongue of the cheek. No, I'm with you most of the way. Is every fireman going to be perfect? I'm 80% serious. Like, nah, but I don't think you go into it thinking, I'm going to save 70% of his victims. No, you don't go into it thinking that. I'm going to save greater than or equal to three of the five children.

Just go in trying to save people, though. Exactly. And if you save three out of five children. Just go in and try to save people. Exactly. And if you save three out of five and that was your best effort... Yeah, I don't want to knock you, but if you go in thinking... If you go in thinking three's enough, dog... Damn, stay here. I'm going to go save at least three of your children. But please,

go for all of them. It's been a long day. Come on, guys. Do you know how hot it gets in there odds do you lady but yeah you know in all reality if you're in it a lot of times you don't get everything i look i was a computer programmer i had bugs sometimes. It happens. Sometimes you leave a few sponges in when you do a surgery. Most of the time you don't. But sometimes you don't

come back. Why don't they have biodegradable sponges? We've all put IKEA furniture together and had a couple extra washers and bolts but that table's still sitting over there just fine. I feel like there's always something missing from an Ikea purchase. I always got extra shit.

Well, this explains it. You need to buy something together. I got your shit. I got your shit. That's what happened. You got my shit. Give me my bolts back, bro. Nothing makes me feel as retarded just trying to put together an Ikea piece of furniture. That cherry book nook. I got your washers, two lag bolts, and a wing a wing nut i got all that shit i have two things about ikea furniture

how is that saga oh i'm glad that you care he's lost hundreds of pounds he's flourishing he's making more no I knew that would work he's lost dozens of pounds it is true he's shrinking I don't know multiple hundreds but he's probably he's threatening a hundred

he's hundred-ish maybe he said he's nowhere near 320 pounds does he still he's nowhere near 300, 320 pounds. Does he still, is it still, he still don't like y'all. He's still not, he's still not fine.

I don't know why. Um, cause he stole his job. I didn't literally didn't PK stats. Let's talk about this one. The last, I don't know, but he,

he made a video about me oh did he somebody somebody tweeted it to me and did you watch it yeah i did did he say that he didn't care about you and yeah he was like i don't give a fuck fuck i'm not i was like damn bro i'm over here what that probably was is he was like see this is the shit hurts this is where he calm down my friend has a soundboard of like various things we all say in wings he's got that thing that you said that time and he'll like like it'll be a dead time we're playing games and it's all quiet like maybe we're all sleepy and like we're just doing monotonous shit all of a sudden i'll hear that quote and i'm just like all right i'm All right, Aaron, let me lay out what happened.

So Wings wanted to lose weight. There was a fellow on YouTube, black guy, who had already lost weight. He had gone down this road and just through, I think, willpower and exercise and dieting, he lost a bunch of weight. So this guy reached out to Wings and said, hey, man, let me be your mentor. I'm going to help you with this. And Wings responded with, flip off. I'm uninterested in your help. Bite me.

But worse than that. I'm trying not to curse as much. And so then this guy made a response video. And he said, shit hurts, nigga. Well, I misquoted him slightly he had a hard r i didn't even know why everyone was laughing this isn't it on in my everyday vocabulary and uh we could tell that what he's not an actual racist by the way he said that word it sounded unnaturally hard at the end of that r they're all laughing and'm like, what are you laughing about?

And then I learned. So I guess I dropped the hard R, and that's the backstory. He was quoting the black man, and it seemed okay to Woody. I'm trying to find the video of Wings talking about Arian. So what it probably was, and this is where he gets in trouble a lot, Arian, is he streams on Twitch and people will ask him leading questions to sort of guide him into rough waters. To fuck with him.

Yeah, yeah. And they'll phrase it in a way that's a little, it's close enough to the truth that his answer will still make him look bad and still stay grounded. So they were probably like, Arian said that you had a lot to learn about life what do you think about that you know they probably they probably typed that to him or something and they didn't uh say that just for the record i am not comfortable with white people saying nigga around me yeah of course did i? No, I didn't say it.

I implied it. I said this. Did I? I'm sorry. Back to wings. It's cool. I'm just letting you know. I'm looking for this wings video.

I thought I was very careful. We're all good good we're moving on fouled one up we're not cursing anymore and dropping m-bombs it's crazy i didn't think i said it i need to play, man. I need to play back the tape. Thank you. I forgive you. It's all good.

It's all good. All of these are like four-hour-long full PKA's. There's no clip of this. I should have sent it to you. Oh, wait. Hold on. No, shit. It's Wings with a Z, right?

No, it's an S. Oh, well, that might be it. I'll just put it in like two blocks. Put in Wings with a Z, right? No, it's an S. Oh, well, that might be it. I'll be responding like Tupac. Put in Wings of Redemption, Arian Foster. Goddamn, dude. Like, a lot of your podcasts are coming up. You're crushing it with views. Oh, thanks, man.

I appreciate it. Now I was trying to find... Yeah, I can't. Nah, man. Oh, you had Steve Hofstetter on. We have him on pretty often. Yeah, he was the one that hit me to you. That's my guy. Oh. Oh. Nice. He's the publicist for

a presidential candidate now. No, you're lying. That's not true. I haven't clicked that video. It's on my... He makes a pretty compelling pitch. Basically, he's like, look, I have a fellow comedian who's running for president. Support him. These are the qualifications to get on the debate stage.

Wouldn't that be great? That's the pitch in a nutshell. And I'm like, yeah. If there is a professional comedian on the presidential debate stage, I think I'm for this. I agree. I mean, honestly, fuck it. That's pretty funny. I'm donating a dollar to Steve

Hofstetter for president. One of the things is, it's Steve's friend, is the number of donations. Not the amount of donations, but the number of them. So if you were to give a dollar, that would actually be more helpful than you might guess. I think he needs like 60,000 contributors. You'd be

one of them. Dude, we've got enough listeners to this show that we could get Kyle as a candidate. It will be the first time Nope, not anymore. That someone under investigation is made president. or a potential president.

I'd vote for Kyle in a second. I trust you with my Second Amendment rights, and that's about it. But I'm sure there are other things you would do that were funny. I don't know if a felon can be president. Is there a thing? You a felon? About to be. Wait, you know the whole story. be wait you know the whole Aaron you know the tale we'll talk about it after it's a long story

it's not good to get into now it's a long one yeah there's no time on this show for such a thing tight schedule I've got a funny video an Instagram video of oh okay we'll do your video first.

Go ahead. This woman found out... I don't know where. Maybe it says in the... While you're leading to it, I have a problem with the Instagram website. That website has no play button, it has no pause button,

and it has no volume slider. What kind of video player is this? Don't you just click it to pause it? Yeah. Well, you're probably right about that. But the volume slider thing is true. It's just your phone. Whatever your phone is, the volume on the side.

I'm on the computer. All right, so this Instagram video, this woman found out that her husband is gay. Wait, are there boobs in this video? Let me watch real quick. No, no, those are men. Those are men. That guy?

Okay. Yeah, but both of those individuals are men. And so this woman found out that her husband was having gay sex behind her back, which is like the worst kind of getting cheated on. No, disagree. It's the opposite sex.

And so she filled his KY container with super glue. And so this is a video of one man still in the anus of another man and they're having to like you know, grab I don't know how to describe the walking maneuver.

This isn't real. Don't tell me that. I have fun with things like this. Ready, set, play you guys. Ready? Ready, set, play. I don't know what the doctors are going to do about this. There's nothing we be done about that. Somebody's getting cut. Oh my God, look at this. So I have to describe this to those of you who aren't watching. Essentially, there are two gentlemen, front to back, because one of them's penis is presumably super glued inside the other one's butthole. And they have a towel wrapped around themselves.

And the one in the front is the one with the penis in his butt. Seems much more upset about the scenario than the one whose penis is stuck to someone's butt. And frankly, I'd be more upset if it was my dick glued in his ass because i'd much rather have my ass damaged than my penis i'm on the other side no i agree with kyle wholeheartedly if i'm if i'm a gay man you guys are all on the penis side yeah oh no so here let me lay this out the most sensitive part of your body the most most delicate to the touch, is the butt there. It is not the shaft of your dick. One guy is in way more pain than the other one.

I reckon this is a vanity problem you have with the, you know, oh, no, I'm worried about my dick getting hurt. Ah, that skin is much better than your butthole skin. No, that's not vanity. Drop all the... You don't want your dick skin ripped off. Yeah, leave in the comments... Oh, Jesus Christ. ...if you agree with the three

of us or if you're wrong arian did i win you over at all that the butt is just a way more delicate thin skinned nerve ending problem no time heals all wounds but if you have an opportunity like if there's a chance that you permanently damage your lovemaker, it's just irreconcilable. There's nothing. That is true. They could rebuild my asshole with sheepskin and I wouldn't give a fuck. But if my dick is cosmetically damaged, I have a problem. What should the punishment be for the woman?

Because I think we've got to all be in agreement that she did the equivalent of a fucking... She committed a crime. They get to glue her snap shut. I think you should put a dildo in there. She's fine with that. I don't think that it should be a... It shouldn't be a super glue style justice because then you're just getting

super glue everywhere. You know what? An eye for an eye and all the world's holes are plugged. I would say just don't punish the woman. Like... I don't punish the woman like i don't know i i don't know just don't punish the one i don't condone hitting women ever man but that that's you know what we need we need to get that close to the line we need to get that coach over there to wherever he'll smack some sense into that he won't even know what she did wrong and he's over there slapping her.

You suck at basketball! The other one didn't know what she did wrong. You must be using crazy glue because you've lost your damn mind! I'll start fucking her up. I see crazy glue. That is not cool, what happened there. Look, look, look. We can all agree

that cheating on your significant other is a bad thing. Of course. But you don't deserve... Thank you. Yeah, no, it is. Because I didn't really agree. I just said it.

I think it's overblown, though. Thank you. Thank you. It's way overblown, and you certainly don't deserve your dick glued inside another human being. It doesn't matter. Definitely, man. That's ridiculous. This is not justice for that,

but cheating on your significant other or spouse or whatever, that's not overblown. I'm with Team Taylor on this one. Taylor has a girlfriend. I do have a question, though. Taylor scored some fucking brownie points right now. I would never.

Taylor said something that got my attention. I can't get past it. He said that cheating on your spouse with the guy Is a worse thing Than cheating on her with the girl Whereas in my head If you cheat on her with the girl It's like you cheated on her

With a parallel service If you cheat on her with a guy That's just a different game That's not really a referendum on her I mean but this girl This woman who had That's not really a referendum on her. I mean, but this girl, this woman who had whichever guy that is cheat on her, it's kind of like her realizing like, oh my god, not only did he

cheat on me, he cheated on me with a man. He's gay. This entire relationship has been a lie. I've been let on and strung along. He's probably just bisexual, you know? He could be bisexual. He may have just come out to himself. Here this guy is in a real sensitive part

Transitional period of his life Where he's trying to figure out who he is Have some heart Taylor And now he can't even figure out Where he is He's two people now Even to you to spin him into the victim Hashtag TikTok

Hashtag me too he's two people now god damn it arian what's what is worse to cheat on the like uh you cheat on your girls at worst with another girl or with a guy if you're the girl which hurts more um i think it would hurt less if it was a dude yeah her perspective that's where i'm coming from yeah like if like if she like i'm thinking because because yeah i mean because jackie has never minded any of woody in my activities she's she looks the other way she's tolerant that way if if if if she gets cheated on from she holds the camera another woman If she gets cheated on from another woman, it feels like she's missing or she feels inept or something like that, right? Like if I flip it the other way.

Like if my wife was getting railed by some dude. I want to get the rest of Arian's point. Okay. I was going right there as well. Because if she cheats on me with a dude, I'm hot. If she cheats on me with a girl, you're hot. If she cheats on me with a girl, you're hot. Is she cheating on me? It's not cheating if I agree with the action. How about this?

What if you see the girl and she looks... Did you ever see Conan the Barbarian? Yes. You remember? One of these 80s references movies. I know those movies from before he was born. Yeah, absolutely. Let me show

you the chick that I'm talking about. This is the chick who's banging your girl. I'm going to show you. I'm struggling to find her. Yeah, here we go. I got it. Oh, I found her. Her name is Zulimit.

She's a black woman, right? Yeah, I definitely have her. Yeah, this is the lady that is banging your girl. That's the same picture. Basically, it's Wesley Snipes. That hair is dope. I think it's the high top that's throwing you off, man. It's definitely the high top. It's the high top that's throwing you off, man. It's definitely the high top.

It's the high top, man. Really? Because I can look at somebody like, it might be a cultural thing. I like white women like that. Lupita. Lupita's beautiful. Who's Lupita? Lupita.

She's the one that was the queen from Black Panther. Oh, I haven't seen that. Is she bald? You haven't seen her? She has short hair. Lupita Ny She's the one that was the queen from Black Panther. Oh, I haven't seen that. Is she bald? She has short hair. Lupita Nyong'o. Or wait, no, that's an actual person. I'm going to look her up. No, no, no, you're right.

That's the person. Yeah, she's pretty. Let me save this. I mean, this girl looks like Arsenio Hall, though, man. Come on. What I'm saying is it's the getup, and it's the wardrobe, and it's the flat top. That's what i'm saying what i'm saying is it's the get up and it's the it's the it's the it's the wardrobe and it's the flat top that's what i'm saying man this is the chick who's banging your girl she's got a flat top she's the young scientist chick right uh i think i'm still okay with it man honestly see this is the same kind of thing as like rose nama nama unis or

whatever we're like when roseajunas, that fighter with the shaved head, when she has long hair, very good looking. You can't judge... When women have goofy hair for something like this, for her warrior style or whatever, which makes sense.

You're trying not to get caught up in your sword or axe or whatever the fuck she's swinging. It doesn't do this. And look at her face. She's a candid shot as she's doing an angry thing. Of course it doesn't look. This one, I'm looking. Wait, are you looking at Lupita or the Conan chick?

I was just talking about the Conan chick. The Lupita woman is very pretty. Lupita looks super pretty. I have a picture of her on the screen. She looks good with the almost buzzed hair. In the picture I'm showing everyone, she's obviously done up to the nines. She's super pretty.

She's not the one I was talking about. The one I'm talking about is not the scientist. She's the warrior chick. I think she's full bald. Am I crazy? What am I saying? What's her name? Let me see if I can find a picture of her done up.

Oh, the ball chick? No, no, no. The Conan jump. Oh. It's... What's her character name? Let's look it up. Conan the...

Which Conan? It's Maku Iwamatsu. That's her real name? M-A-K-O is her first name. Meiko. And her last name is Iwamatsu. That's her real name? M-A-K-O is her first name, M-A-K-O. And her last name is Iwamatsu, like I-W-A-M-A-T-S-U. Now, that came up as a Japanese man. It did. Oh, maybe that's the director.

I don't know. That might be the director. I don't know. That's what comes up here. She didn't age well. She looks like an old Japanese dude now. Is it Olivia Diab? No. Damn it, this is hard.

What fucking actress is this? That's wild. Is it Conan the Destroyer? Is that the movie? Conan. Yeah, it's Conan the Destroyer. Okay, I'm on the IMDb. I'll get to the bottom of this, guys.

Maybe I won't. Yeah, Meiko was Akira the Wizard. Of course, that makes sense. Grace Jones. Grace Jones, I think. Yeah, you're right. She played Zula. She looks like a drag queen in her IMDb.

Oh, she's 70 now. I guess this is an old movie dude she's oh she's the woman from that uh you know that kind of iconic picture with the woman with the flat top and the big broad shoulders and the cigarette kind of hanging out of her mouth she's that woman all right so i take it back this ain't my cup of tea but i was trying to make a point but i was trying to make a point i mean you made your point with the lupita yeah yeah yeah yeah but now you yeah okay so to to circle back if this is the woman that's banging my girl yeah i'm just curious i don't think i'm upset i'm just like what's we i feel like there's other options that we can go to if this

is what you want to do and still be with me so if she came to you and was like i want i've been sleeping with this woman we want to get you in the mix would you be like you know honestly like let's let's go out shopping again and uh go to a bar and find another lady that i'm a little more into no i think i'd still entertain it, man. I'd just give me a nice couple bottles of wine. Let's have a night, man. Fuck it. How insulted would she be if you're like,

all right, let's do it. I'm going to head down to the cellar, grab five bottles of wine. You've got to get tanked. No question. No question. Are you a wine drinker is that your like uh i i am i am now i went to um i went to napa for new year's this last year and um i had no idea but i mean i knew about wine but i wasn't like an aficionado or anything like that and so like we got these private tours to like each vineyard and stuff like that. And you really got to see the appreciation for how these people grow their

wines. And I was like, I was blown away. And I ended up being like a real, so I ordered like different, you can order different cases. You can do annually and you can taste. And that's what I ended up doing. We stayed there for like four or five days and you can end up tasting the difference between the different wines. I had no idea that was even a thought. There was just red wine and And you can taste it. And that's what I ended up doing. We stayed there for like four or five days and you can end up tasting the difference between the different wines. I had no idea that was even a thought. There was just red wine and white wine. But now I can taste the differences

and I'm appreciative of it. Nice. That's the level I'm at. Where like, I can't tell the difference between different kinds of red wines and white wines. I just, I don't know. Like I can taste the difference between like, you know, you get like the,

like if you get like a wine from Walmart or whatever the case may be, or whatever it is like in, I can taste the difference between like you know you get like the like if you get like a wine from walmart or whatever the case may be or whatever like i could taste the difference between cheap wine and like really fine aged wine like i could taste the difference like and it sucks now though kind of low-key because it's like i feel all bougie but it's just like dude getting into wine is super bougie yeah super i agree i agree yeah that uh oh shit i forgot i had something what do you got tan shorts on man see that he's all about that are they the uh the cargo shorts i think they were cargo he needs he's always got to have his tools be on the go this is his tools yeah i i don't i look fucking see i went through too long in my life where i didn't wear shorts i would just wear jeans year round and so my legs look like they've been dead floating in a

river for three days and so now if i put shorts on it's just blinding calf paleness like over the like you can see veins i only wear pajama jeans. What was that suggestion? You got to get some sun, man. It's good for you. I should. Ever since I took Accutane, are you familiar with that? It's a drug that they used to just hand out like candy in the early 2000s,

which would obliterate any acne that you had and clear your skin up. And so I got on that. And I hit every checklist of potential side effects for that thing, where it's like, oh, it might make your skin more pale permanently. It did that to me. You might burn easier. It did that to me. You might get chronic nosebleeds from the dryness. That happened to me for like three years as i as i was taken i'd just be like sitting around

like and then just did you get the liver damage you took it for a long time i took it for or i didn't take it for that long i meant like the time following i think it was like an eight month cycle or something they put you on crazy one thing but it made it so easy to make your nose bleed. I remember once I was sitting in, I guess it was freshman year math and I was not ready for the test. I had fucked around in class. I had like, I hated math. And so like, it was one course that if I was going to be bummy in a course, I would be bummy in math. Cause I just didn't't like it and i got there for the test and was like you know what i'll probably be good enough at this to get a b i'd be fine with a b and i sit down to take it and within like five minutes i realized oh no taylor you're staring down the barrel of like an f and not a 58 f a 31 f and so i sat there at my my desk and i went like

this on the side of my nose and just pushed on it and like moved it around and did stuff like that until my nose started bleeding. And I got up and was like, Oh, this is Johnson. I got to go. There's blood on my paper. You can see. And I left and just took refuge in the bathroom for as long as I thought would be excusable for her to give me another day to take it. I come back with like 12 minutes left in class, sit down. Like I'm going to like start working and I just take it over to her. And I'm like, I'm so sorry, but I just, I can't, I can't right now. There's no way I'm gonna be able to finish this. She let me come back, take it a couple of days later because of my nosebleed shenanigans. Uh, still got to see.

So proud. Well, that's how you know you were definitely gonna get an f if after a couple of days like studying hard and having looked at the test yes no she gave me a new test oh it was maybe an indicator though yeah yeah well i mean i'm fucking bad at math i'm a fat-headed retard i've said that many times so so it's something that new to heaven i i fucking found out i have a late onset of uh a shellfish allergy oh no yeah this is like the least bad when you got to late onset i started started racing. Oh, shit. Me too. When the shit happened. Late onset shell allergy. What a life disrupting problem you have. It's fucking horrible.

How did you figure this out? So I'm chilling in my house, minding my business. I get a massage, right? Terrible, right? I get a massage and we ordered Benihana's. Oh, what an awful day. Tell me more. Terrible, right? So I ordered whatihana's. Oh, what an awful day. Tell me more. It's terrible, right?

So I ordered what I always get. I usually get the chicken and I get the double lobster, right? And so I'm sitting there eating my chicken, double lobster, Benihana fried rice, having a great night. And it's just horf it. Horf it, is that the word? Horf it down, hork it down, whatever the word is. Wolf it down, right? No, hork it down. I've heard that. Is it hork it? I think so word wolf it down yeah i don't know hork it

down i've heard that is it hork it yeah i don't think so maybe i don't know okay it's new to me shove it shove it in my mouth dog pause and everything's fine i start to feel like i start to feel itchy but i don't think nothing of it i've been itchy before never been allergic to anything in my life then um that that night like i fall asleep pretty pretty soon after that we ate like at 10 i fell asleep pretty soon after that and i wake up like in pain itching i don't know if you ever been in pain from itching but i was oh yeah and it was like everywhere and i was like this is crazy i'm just itching i'm just itching are you breathing okay it was yeah i was breathing fine this is crazy and so i was itching so bad i, I'm going to get up and take a shower because I thought it was

maybe the oils from the massage. So I get up, I take a shower, and I was like, okay, it's cool. And then I wake up and my lips are swollen. My lips are swollen. They're tingling. And I have hives all over my... Matter of fact, I have a picture

of that too. But I don't take many pictures but what i do they i make them i make them count they get worthwhile it's either some really great ramen or hives there's two photos on arian's let me scroll through ramen and we're here don't swipe don't swipe you don't know what you're gonna see exactly it's ramen it was wow man i've never been i've never been allergic to anything in my life and all of a sudden and then they were everywhere the hives were everywhere and i didn't know what to do i

thought i was dying so i thought i you never google your symptoms no it's the worst yeah so i thought i had everything and i've never figured out I had syphilis if I hadn't started Googling. You'd have found out eventually. That's how I got it. You go blind or something, don't you? It takes 10 years for that. Al Capone went crazy from it. That's wild. Such a simple thing took him down. That penicillin. So did you go to a doctor in the middle of the night? Well, not in the middle of the night. No, so it was the next day I woke up in my living room.

I got lucky. It wasn't like a really bad one where my throat could swell up in my sleep, and I wouldn't have known. And I went out peacefully, and y'all would have never heard of me again. Oh, it would have woke you up. When I was, shit, 16 maybe, it was afternoon, and I wanted a snack. So I made cornflakes, and I chopped banana up, like slices of banana through the cornflakes. Loved that shit. I'd eaten it many times.

I like bananas. I like banana pudding. My mom would make it occasionally. This time, however, after like 10 minutes, my mouth starts itching like I've eaten fiberglass. And my eyes start like pouring tears. And slowly but surely surely I can feel my throat swelling shut and like I I managed to drive to where my dad was and by the time I got there my face was double its normal size and my eyes were like almost swollen shut and I could barely

speak and I went I'm having an allergic reaction and he was like holy shit and he drove me to the er and they hit me with epinephrine and uh and i and that is like some sort of miracle drug from like a movie or something like the guy's dying in star trek and they just go and like you're cooling it like like right away like ah well we fixed that that's how epinephrine is when you when you fucking have an allergic reaction my throat immediately went from i can barely breathe to like all right i feel good now how's my face look well you look like a human being now it looks like you didn't just get the shit stomped out you're allergic to bananas yeah i'm allergic are you still to this day uh my not as bad you should try every so often see i did for years until until finally got over it. I literally did. Listen to this, peanut people.

Man up. Have some peanuts until you develop a resistance. I've been sprinkling a little peanut in the kitty's food for years now. I hope she's appreciative. Last month, she had Chick-fil-A. Problem solved. Yeah, she's also incredibly allergic to horses. And one day, my girlfriend and I –

Yeah, very. My girlfriend and I, we went to this restaurant and, uh, it's like a country buffet type thing. And they had like a horse pasture behind the restaurant. And like, so we ate, we ate lunch and then we went outside of the cars and there's like right over the fence with these really friendly horses. And I like horses. So I'm just like, you know, the horse like sticks his head over the fence and I'm stroking the horses like like muzzle or whatever you call it like its face and they're beautiful animals and i you know it's very friendly it's very i've had to deal with shitty horses before and really cool horse i petting the horse i get home that that night and like an hour later kitty's kitty comes

in my room and her face is swollen up and she goes did you did you pet a horse today and I'm like where would I see a horse so you knew not to pay for it where would I run into a horse of my data yeah yeah down on the ranch I was rustling up some cattle what do you mean I don't know what happened to you get you're playing with this on me you probably ate something that was contaminated. You've got to be more careful. I never told her. I never told her.

And she'll never know. No. Unless she listens to this show or someone who listens to this tweets it at her. She doesn't check that shit. It would be a waste of time, everybody. Absolutely it would. Yeah, it was the banana thing like for years afterwards i would occasionally eat bananas like in very small quantities and i want to say that i

got myself over it or maybe just it's a thing that sort of comes and goes but no bananas no that is a new tech so so subsequently i had a speaking engagement and I went to a food allergen conference. Right. Okay. And so I'm talking to all these kids about it. And this is crazy. I signed up cause I, like my guy was like,

good. You want to do this speaking engagement? I was like, yeah. And I don't really get the information about what I'm speaking about until like the day of or the day before. I'm, I'm just,

I'm good off the cuff like that. Right. And so I get, and so the week, the week of is when I had the food allergen. Right. And so I get, and so the week, the week of is when I had the food allergy. Right. And so when I get there, I start to get information and I was like,

yo, this is a food allergy conference. And I was like, kind of fucking movie script shit is this. And it was crazy. But I wouldn't, when I went there, I was talking to some kid and I didn't know how serious this was.

Like, yo, people die from this stuff. I had no idea. I had never been, I had never been allergic to anything. Never knew anybody that was, or if I did,

I didn't pay attention But he said that's when I forget the name of it but that's actually A Remedy A remedy for it is that they Small doses like if somebody's allergic to penis They start to feed them small doses

And it's slowly but surely Eventually you can take a whole cock he totally said penis i heard it too i walked i walked into that one i was like what the oh he means peanuts right they say it's like a 85 effective actually yeah well you you're just a genius and you just knew this well I've always thought so myself but thank you for dude if I had to go off the cuff at an allergy conference I don't know I'd be like

peanuts guys who needs them lots of great recipes out there without peanuts you know I'm allergic to shellfish too Ari's up there winging it have you guys seen the princess? Because I got a theory. All right, guys. Peanuts are bad.

The next 40 minutes, I'm going to practice my Hank Hill impression. I'm not allergic to anything other than oats. I don't like that video. No? What's wrong with it? I don't know. That one didn't make me laugh. i watched that one before the show because i was hoping i've seen it before today too i it didn't make me laugh either but i reacted when when when the at the end i think we've

built up i watched on i watched on mute so if it was a audio thing it doesn't i'm having i'm queuing i watched on mute too are we watching it are we not watching i think we're watching it now if i was a listener i'd be deeply intrigued we'll watch it oh and there's a at some point in the show like maybe you know in the next hour so hundreds of people on our subreddit up for like 500 people upvoted wanting me to read this degenerate story that I have pulled up. Every so often, Arian, I'll read a story that's just horrific off the internet. It's just gross and awful. I'm going to read that a little

bit later. For now, let's watch this. Save it for later. I'm queued up. You guys ready? Yeah. Ready, set, play. A couple of tough guys. I don't think the pant legs are cuffed on the red haired guy. Small red haired dude wants his jewel. He's trying to get it from this other guy. He's like, I don't have have anything but he won't show his pockets

like it seems to be that he has the jewel on him little red guy oh oh oh so he got lit up a little bit i couldn't tell maybe he got hit in the nose what he's still walking head down Oh, why did you... Don't ever... Oh, I didn't expect that. What a twist. Yeah. In my head, Little Ginger has been wronged before this. Now he's trying to, like, get his... He's trying to stand up for himself, you know? What a twist. Listen, listeners.

I feel bad for that bullied kid, then. Big Brown was being accosted by a ginger who we all know does not have a soul. He was being called aed by a ginger who we all know does not have a soul. He was being called a liar, a thief, and he's being accosted by this smaller man in a restroom. He's trying to take a piss. And here comes this gingerbread man walking in, calling him these terrible things. Say, turn out your pockets.

Prove to me that you're not a liar and a thief. We all know how woody's gamer tag would react in such a situation and i think it would involve a guillotine he was open for the guillotine that kid totally went and i told you as i watched that play out i was like the guillotine is right there and uh but the head kick it turns out is better and and you know maybe maybe woody lights him up a little, you know? Right. And then at the end, he's like, well, shit, I do have my stretchy pants on.

Head kick time. He's channeling a bit of Cowboy Cerrone. You'd have done the same thing if you're Big Brown. That was too much. A lot of it has to do with Big Brown's innocent or guilt. If, as the cow tells the story, poor Big Brown is accosted and accused of something he didn't do, then I'm kind of with Big Brown's innocent or guilt. If, as the cow tells the story, poor Big Brown is accosted and accused of something he didn't do, then I'm kind of on Big Brown's side too.

But I think Ginger was manning up to insurmountable odds just trying to stand up for himself because he had been wronged. I know where you live. I got your address. Yes. I was in a similar situation when I was the ginger a long time ago. I've told this story, but in fast forward. Woody grew out of his red hair.

Here's what happened. A long time ago, I used to jump off this bridge. This bridge was quite high. People wouldn't do it on their own. We would practically give tours, right? You had to know what you were doing. I was a surfer. We would recognize the tides.

I always just had an instinct for whether the tides were going in and out, which would take you to or against the dock that is your salvation. So we would be like, hey, it's a good time. It's 8 PM. If you want to go, we can jump off this bridge. And I'd take people to jump off this bridge. Well, I met a new guy. We were like fast friends. Everything was cool. At the end of the night, I left my shirt, which I kind of had a way of wrapping up almost like a football and like my wallet and maybe flip flops were inside it. Well, the dude stole my shit. Like I left it in the car and rather than be like, oh, Woody, your shirt's still in the back seat or something.

It was just gone. Wallet, I think flip flops and shirt. Like that bundle was never returned to me. Turns out my new fast friend is like bouncing from juvie to juvie. So I go over to his house and i'm like dude you stole my shit like you know and he's like no i didn't i have nothing to do with it i'm completely innocent and i'm like like like we have a friend in common dylan or whatever his name is he told me you had it like i i believe dylan he's not lying to me he's a friend of yours he has no like motivate you stole it and um uh i i'm like barefoot i live my whole teenage years

barefoot and i remember he had steel toed like shit kicking boots on and he's like you can go to my room and search and i said all right then i will i go up this whole scenario is so fucking hilarious so i look around and he has my t-shirt it's my t-shirt and it's not an everyday it's not like some white shirt with a nike swoosh it's an italian cycling shirt that says like sonelli on it or no one else has one and uh i'm like that's my italian cycling yeah it's just a t-shirt, but the brand logo on it. So anyway, he has it. And he's like, all right, maybe I had the t-shirt. But I don't have the wallet and sandals that were wrapped up in it.

What the fuck, man? Right? And that's when I realized, I'm like 90% sure I'm ginger kid in this scenario. And all I could do was like, hold a grudge. Like I wasn't leaving there with my stuff. I wasn't leaving there with a non bloody nose. If I pushed it any further,

I got my, just sort of like, what are you going to do? You know? And, and I feel for the ginger kid who went the next step and got the predictable result. He shouldn't be

vaping at a young age anyway i want arian's take on this that hilarious thing you just i'm just picturing like two and like i always think of things in cultural context so i'm thinking of like a little young white kid with no shoes on i don't like people saying white kid around me just so you know hell no white kid walking up to another white kid you call him a cracker at this point right these two dumb little honkies but like this is a picture y'all walking up one has you say timberlands or i said steel-toed boots i don't know okay i mean i think timberlands when i think steel-toed boots but I don't know. I mean, I think Timberlands when I think steel-toed boots, but maybe they were like something like that.

I don't know. So, when you walk up on him saying, where's my Italian race car shirt? I don't know. It's funny what you say. I'm sure you went through a lot of similar things as a kid.

Where's my French cricket say it I'm sure you went through a lot of similar things as a kid where's my French cricket bat I remember one time we was this was a free t-shirt I think you're picturing it as some sort of like I think I got it at an event I went to or something this is a bagliacci shirt

you better return it but the fact that shirt isn't even mentioned is hilarious where's the wallet be Yeah the wallet would be the more important thing I want to give a fuck about the Italian race car shirt It was the package The important thing that he had the shirt Proved that he had the package

That was the way the story was So But yeah The reason I didn't know this guy He was like a new friend. Yeah, both those words. Because he didn't go to my high school because he was bouncing in from like one juvie to the next. And he was, I would have just lost.

I want to do some hockey talk. You got to take your lumps, though. Like one time. I've taken my lumps. Dude, yeah. It's not that day. It's like a rite of passage, though, almost. Dude. And maybe that's toxic. I've been my lumps. Dude, yeah. It's not that day. It's like a rite of passage, though, almost. Dude.

Maybe that's toxic. I've been in fights I knew I was going to lose, but I was in this guy's house. It's one thing to do it in a park where I've lost fights. Did you tell? No. He didn't go up to his people and be like, yo, your man's got my wallet. He was kind of alpha. Yeah, my friend knew

the one, I called him Dylan, I don't remember his name, but the one that ratted him out and said, dude, I know he's got your shit. I know who he is and I know he steals your things. No, I didn't tell his parents. Hold on, so he's stolen from you more than once?

No, the friend said this is normal behavior for him. I'm sure he has your stuff. Got you. And that's why I was pretty confident he stole my things. He said he was just sure that he stole from me. You can lose a fight in a park. You can lose a fight in a beach. You can lose a fight in a park you can lose a fight in a beach you can lose a fight but in some guy's house like the hallway leading to his bedroom yet that's not where i want to lose

a fight he was gonna oh steel toe boot my face yeah you don't have any shoes on either that no he's going that's that's like the that's the big they always say if you know you're gonna get a fight take your shoes off yep You never would. I'm joking because obviously you need fucking shoes in a fight. No. You give people a huge advantage if they have shoes on you. I would take them off. Flip flops are probably worse than bare feet. Yeah, they are.

This is a new revelation. I was walking around this planet thinking I was badass until about three or four weeks ago. Right? Okay. One of my guys I used to play with, he was like, yo, come with me man I was like what is he's like jujitsu it's like I'm straight he's like man just come man I was trying like yo I need it I need it you know I started to I started starting to work out again cuz I started to get a

little chubby so I said alright let's do it so I went to jujitsu and it wasn't 20 minutes in a class before I realized dog I don't know what I'm doing in a fight like that. If I ever ran into somebody who knew Jiu-Jitsu or Muay Thai or any of this shit, I would get my ass whooped. I've been going there every day.

I've been through this. After I joined the gym, I'd studied Jiu-Jitsu for years, and after I joined, no one else joined behind me for the longest time every single fucker in that gym even some of the girls would kick my ass for like nine months before i tapped my first person it was all yeah yeah we had tara la rosa google her she's fucking world champion and you would lose to her too no probably yeah i have i have no i

don't know what you're doing that for man it's pretty whack but uh i have no i have no ego when it comes to jujitsu now like it's like yo i get my ass whooped daily by blue belts by brown belts black belts like it's it's a thing but i enjoy it because it's like yo you learn they teach you why they whooping your ass. I enjoy it. I've been in two environments where there's no lying. One of them is jujitsu. The whole world is filled with people who overestimate

their fighting ability. They just stack rank themselves higher than they belong. But when you're there, when you're doing it, scores posted, bro. You won or lost and there's just an honesty to it, which is really cool. Another one was computer programmer.

Probably everyone, most people I think, think they're above average intelligence. Become a computer programmer. All the other programmers know the score. That stack ranking, who's smart, who's not, who's struggling, who this comes easily to, they're like

puzzles that you're solving all the time corner cases that you're figuring out um it like just the ability to write an algorithm that solves a problem is a smartness stack ranking and there's no bullshit and it's that have you ever stolen anything? I can't think of anything I'm sure I'm pretty sure I walked out of Petco when I was a kid with something but I've never knowingly stolen anything I'm interested in

Kyle, let me save you for last me? the first thing that came to my mind was one time I didn't steal anything it was going to i went to a supermarket my friends and i had decided we were going to shoplift i stole what was i don't even know a 12 pack of like hubble bubba so i had it under the front of my shirt and it was large and it was square and it didn't look like abs at all and the protruding was like obvious this woman eyeballs me and she knows what I'm up to. She's like identified what the score is and she's going to get the manager. So my friends and I put it away and then they catch us outside and they're

like, dude, give it back. We know what's up. And I acted insulted that she would accuse me of such a thing because I put it back. I was innocent. I wanted to get my attorney involved. Yeah. And I'm just like, insulted that she would accuse me of such a thing because I put it back. I was innocent.

Do I need to get my attorney involved? Yeah, and I'm just like, that is not who I am. And, yeah, we're like empty in pockets. She's, lift up your shirt. I'm happy to do so. Oh, you know what? I'm glad you brought the manager because I

take umbrage with the way you run it. Yeah. That is some white people shit. Kyle, man, what'd you steal? All kind of stuff. You know, whatever. I feel that 9-volt batteries are extremely overpriced

and I refuse to pay for them. You should pay for every fifth one and bring the price into alignment. I've never paid for a 9-volt battery. You're a wealthy man. I refuse to pay for 9-volt batteries. He steals out of principle, Taylor. Principle. Yeah, I mean, I get a four of them.

I'm not paying that much for a 9-volt. It's not honorable. That nine vote. It's not honorable Now my watch begins You will not see me sticking these nine bolts in my pocket And if you do I'll just say I had a mommy when I came in I mean I carry nine bolts with me Just think Alright now that you've called me out on it mr. Walmart manager my fetish is fucking sticking this thing on my tongue I like it a lot. It gets me me off see i'm hard as a rock well no i play paintball and uh the the hopper

on a paintball uh gun uses uh or at least the ones i used to use always use these nine volt batteries and so i'd need like four every day it would take like two at a time and i'd need to like to make sure the thing was running well i'd need like to change it out like near the end of the day. And like four nine volt batteries was like $22 or something stupid like that. Like if you get the best ones. And I was like, fuck that shit. I'm not paying it. And I've held that belief and that principle and the practice of stealing them until this

very day. I don't, I don't pay for nine volt batteries. They are, they're, fix your. Fix your prices, Energizer. Fix them, because I'm not paying. What other kind of shit would you steal? Stole a pair of shoes once. You stole shoes?

Yeah, I just tried them on. I walked out. Left my shoes in the box. You didn't steal them. You just traded. I traded them. I left my old shoes. It's called that old andy dufresne man where he put the good his shitty shoes in the box and he walked over to shiny and the funny thing is that walmart and fresher kicks no one ever looked at andy dufresne's feet yeah nobody i i walked in and i had these scuffed up like dress shoes like work shoes and

You know I was on my lunch break and I was like I'd like a new pair of dress shoes I found a pair I really liked and I had already like made I Had emotionally purchased them and I saw there was like $145 and I was just like say you had emotionally purchased them. Yeah, yeah. I'd be like, this is my new pair of shoes. This is much nicer. I like the heel. I like how these look. These feel really nice. They got a nice, nice, like,

insole. They're gonna squish to them. I like the sort of square toe or whatever they got going on. I like the stitching. I've emotionally purchased them. Yeah. You calling me out on my phrase? What's your problem? No, I was just saying emotional purchasing is like... It's just saying i like this i've bonded with those shoes i've it i've already decided this is my new footwear no you're right i was being pedantic yes you were yes you were

and i i had decided flip it and pedantic and i had decided this is my new pair of shoes and i saw they're 145 and i was like well, I already got the motherfuckers on. That's terrible logic. Let's just, you know, like, I'm not going to unlace them, you know, because I was going to wear them out of the store anyway. That was my, I was going to, like, wear them out of the store. I had already put my old ones in the box. But the plan was to carry the box and be like, I'm wearing these out. I got them on, my old pairs in here.

But I was just like, I'll just put this shit back on the shelf. And so I did. And they were free that day. They had a sale going on for anybody who was just walking out wearing shoes. If I call it stealing, how much were you paid in college, Arian, for playing football? That's a highly controversial topic. Well, i'm willing to accept your take on it yeah so um i've i've i've been on record saying i got 50 000 that was

a little bit of a of a flub okay um when i was in college i there's no like really amount because i didn't there was a dude i was dealing with that just used to give me cash and he wasn't affiliated with the university but it was like a booster guy no under the table kind of thing we got yeah we've gotten money from boosters before like free meals all the time but like um uh agents they have these things called runners yeah they had these things called runners and like they're not allowed to deal with the athletes. And I don't give a fuck about the NCAA. That's why I'm so open about this shit.

But a lot of guys hide it now. I don't know why. They're so afraid of the NCAA. But anyway. Yeah, what are they going to do to you? Nothing. And so they try. And so the agents, they have these things called runners.

And, like, they'll send them to, like, universities. And they'll, like, take care of the kids and so like i was i was getting broke off probably like like two three grand a month it wasn't crazy money but to me at the time was like yo yeah wow that's a lot for a college kid i mean all your expenses are paid tax free yeah two grand a month like i wouldn't even want more shoes than that like if i'm just a kid... That's why I was balling. I was like, yo, you can't tell me nothing. That's cash. I'm making $24,000 to $36,000 a year.

I'm on the top of the world. I think a cumulative... It might have been around... Maybe around... I don't know. Over the years... It's not like he saved the money. I mean, you know... No, you're a college kid getting cash. You're blowing that all the time. It got spent. It's not like he saved the money. You're a college kid getting cash.

You're blowing that all the time. It got spent. It's hard to add it all up. I like to think he started a business and put it in a SEP IRA and faked his profits. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Sounds like the plot of Ozark now. He's having to wash this fucking money.

That's an amazing show. That's one of my favorite That's the best show fucking movie. That's an amazing show. That's one of my favorite. That's the best show on TV. That's great. That goddamn blonde girl needs to get her accent straight. Drives me up a wall. Yeah, she doesn't know where she's from. That kid with Down syndrome was great.

He's a great actor. And the main guy whose name is escaping me. He's really good. And obviously his wife. Doesn't he really have some kind of... Yeah, he's got Downs. And and the main guy whose name is escaping me. He's really good and obviously really Doesn't he really have like some kind of yeah, yeah, he's got downs. Yeah, he's actually got down syndrome And he's a good actor Like he really he really pulls at your heartstrings makes you empathize with him

I thought I didn't know that and so like I was I felt really bad. I thought he was making that face Yeah, I was making I was making fun of the show and shit. My tail is laughing to you area But I found the opposite with Bubbles from Trailer Park Police. He thought Bubbles was actually retarded. Come on, Ricky. Jesus, Ricky, you know I'm actually retarded, don't you?

I live in a shed and collect golf carts or whatever the fuck. It'd be funny if I thought his whole character was true i figured the shopping cart was based on a true story i like arian's take where you were sitting there and you're like i don't like this guy why is he making that insulting retarded face like okay so and the him and the daughter right like they just were like i don't i root for bad to happen not bad to happen but like logical like like if you dealing drugs and you try to get your family out of the circumstance like i'm rooting for you bro you know what i'm saying and your kids are

doing a little corny trying to sabotage the mission like out of here you know what i mean and so like i end up talking about them and i'm making fun of them and then she's like and my girl was like no, I think he's really liked it I'm like, it's not really like they wouldn't put him like he's with and then we looked it was like, oh shit I felt terrible same thing with I'm Breaking Bad remember Walt jr. Dad Dad, where are you? Why are you selling all these drugs and trying to make us millionaires? Turkey bacon dead No, but he has that kid he's actually got has cerebral, dad. I'm not laughing. Dad.

No, but he has. Fuck that kid. He actually has cerebral palsy, and I'm glad. I hope it gets worse. I hope it gets worse. No, he's got, no, this is the thing. I hope his cerebral palsy. I hope he gets palsied even more. Jesus.

He's got palsy, cerebral palsy, but he has the most minor of minor kinds. If you look at an actual interview with him, he's not at all like Walt Jr. He's playing up the cerebral palsy thing like 10 times worse than he is. I hope it gets worse. I hope by the time he's 35. That is a degenerative disease, so it probably will get worse. I hope they find the cure right at the point where he's past the point of saving, and he has to watch all of his

cerebral palsy buddies become normal people who can finally run and jump and play and speak clearly. I didn't dislike his character this much. I hate it so goddamn much. I hate it so goddamn much. When he turned on fucking Walt at the end, and he's siding with a mom, and he's looking at Walt like Walt's

a monster. Meanwhile, Walt has been doing everything. Walt had become a monster by that point. Shut up. No, he didn't. No. Yes, he had. Walt was never a monster to me. So I said my Breaking Bad experience was this. I watched up to season three and season three, I stopped. I couldn't do it anymore

because Jesse I think, I talked about this on Twitter and people love this fucking dude i'm not talking about him as a person someone was the actor yeah that is probably one of the worst characters i've ever witnessed in angel i could not stand that fucking dude it was worse than him though that girlfriend he had that that inhaled her own vomit and died she was even worse than him which one was remember he had that girlfriend that was gonna blackmail wall was trash she was trash she was garbage super trash but like Jess I couldn't stand Jesse I was watching it like yo

you didn't like Jesse because his work ethic as a criminal mastermind wasn't good no he's a shit it's a bitch lame he was a bitch he said bitch so much that it was corny. Yeah, it was like in the way. He said it was like Science Extra super cornball The way his sleeves were so long that they're always swallowing his hands. That's what I hated the most about him It's like you're an adult You fucking loser you're too old for stretchy pants You fucking loser you're too old for stretchy pants

He committed the cardinal sin that I cannot forget from any television or movie actor character I should say and that is when you destroy or throw away money. All right, when I started throwing that I Hate you now. I hate you start throwing money away. I fucking hate your guts The other like in in The Shield. Can I pose an exception? Yeah. The Joker and the Dark Knight? Oh, that was pretty badass. That was gangster as a motherfucker. He had so, like...

That was one of my favorite characters of all time. Yeah, that was different. I do get that money can cause problems. Money can cause problems. He said this city needs a better class of criminal. He's like, what am I going to do with money? Guns, bullets, gasoline. These things are cheap.

He's fucking great. I loved him. I bought up all the Bitcoin in 2011, and I'm going to crash the market. Have you guys been watching bitcoin lately people are calling it going to 80 grand it's it it was at eight last night i don't know where it is now but they just look at the um the cycles that it's been taking you know like it exploded and hit three then crashed exploded and hit something and crashed exploded hit like 19 ish last time if it just does what it always does they're saying it it's going to $80. I got half a coin I paid like $5,600

for that's sitting in a safe deposit box on that fucking thing Chiz told me to buy. I literally did exactly what Harley said. Just put it in a box somewhere and forget about it, and that's where it is. I don't know anything about it, actually. I don't know shit about it, either.

I had to watch a tutorial. I didn't have any faith in it. I'm one of those old school guys. I bought a coin at eight grand. I sold it at 14. Kind of regretted it because it ran to nine and then felt like a genius as it dropped to three. It's an actual coin?

It ran to 19, yeah. If we start explaining cryptocurrency, like, we don't... I'm not even not the guy for it, yeah. None of us... We essentially know what it is, but we don't i'm not even not the guy for it yeah i'm none of us we we we essentially know what it is but we can't explain it well enough not to sound like untraceable currency right no there's a ledger there's a public ledger so it's not as untraceable as like cash is you know but um hardly use it on the i'm sorry go ahead

we had a guest harley who laid it out so well he's like go ahead. We had a guest, Harley, who laid it out so well. He's like, you know, what if it's the old school days and we say that this thing, gold, it's yellow metal. It's kind of weak. You can't make any tools out of it, but that's what's valuable. Gold is the thing that you want more than all the other useful metals, right? And you'd be like, that's a little crazy,

but it's generally adopted and everyone says. And now I tell you, no, Arian, you don't want gold. Gold is stupid. What you want is paper. Paper printed in a specific way, that's what money is. You should just put all your time and effort to get paper. And you'd be like, that sounds kind of fouled up because the real value is in gold. You got to let that shit go. You got to let that shit go. It's not going, baby. because the real value is in gold.

It's not going baby. And this is fouled up, why would paper be the valuable thing? But eventually society comes around and we all start to agree. And now I come along and I say, you know what, Arian, you don't want paper. What you want are a string of letters and numbers that are a solution to a math problem

that's easy to solve one way, but not in reverse. And you're like, really? Like that's what, oh, trust me, this string of letters and numbers that you keep on a USB drive, that's what value is. And it's just as crazy as all the other things I mentioned, but it's the next one or it's not. as crazy as all the other things I mentioned, but it's the next one, or it's not. I mean, it's basic economic supply and demand, but I thought there was something else to it as far as the traceability

of it, which made it so sexy. You're going to have to get a YouTube video out. I'm not going to make myself sound like the dummy that I am when it comes to crypto. You know what cryptocurrency is like for me? It's like the plot of... What's the time travel movie that's really difficult to understand? Oh! oh no i know what he's talking about the one where they go in boxes and they can only travel forward or something boxes dude this movie is so complex that like

it's primer so there's this movie called primer and uh there's a movie called primer and it's about time travel. This guy makes a time machine, but it's not like some Jules Verne shit, like lights whizzing and stuff. I'm not going to start explaining. That movie is impossible to follow. I am smart enough to understand Primer for a few minutes after I read the Wikipedia on it. To understand Primer, you watch Primer,

then you read the Wikipedia, then you watch a YouTube video explaining the Wikipedia, then you watch Primer again, having done all of the three prerequisites. And there are charts and layouts. Diagrams. I spent 10 minutes looking at one of the diagrams and being like, I don't have, I got a job. I don't have time by the time you do all those things i mentioned you will know how everything about primer and how the time machine works and how what happened in the movie for exactly two hours afterwards and just like time travel the next day it's all gone okay like like i caught like like the way i remember it's like i turn i i get in the machine and I turn it on.

And when I get out, I'm able to go back to when I turned the machine on or something like that. I think time pauses when I'm in the machine for me. And so I'm able to stay here in this time, but time keeps moving outside the machine. It's actually scientifically accurate. Yeah. outside the machine scientifically accurate yeah it's a theoretical way you can travel through time is if you go as fast as the speed of light so if you're in something that's moving at the fastest speed of light your time stops for like light doesn't experience time so time stops for you if you're going it's theoretically impossible for mass to go as fast well this dude doesn't

light doesn't experience time that's like i'll have to go as fast. Well, this dude doesn't experience time. That's like, I've never thought about that before in my entire life. That's a really wild thought. It's a wild thought. Did Neil deGrasse Tyson drop that on you? Nah, I mean, he knows it, of course. But nah, I've been studying physics for a while now. I'm super interested in it.

And that has mind-blowing implications when you think about it. He makes his time machine in a rented storage unit like walt was storing his money in and it's made out of like aluminum foil and a big battery and some shit like that it looks like the big ass battery it looks like a bunch of stolen batteries it looks like he took a bunch of those heat bags that the Postmates guy shows up with, turned them inside out, and then got in it. The movie's pretty interesting, and it's complicated. It turns out whoever is further back in time has an advantage over everyone else. So it's like whoever thought to be, I guess, the sneakiest out of the gate.

I don't remember it completely. I'm going back a week. I'm going back a week, dude. They're talking about going back i'm going back a week i'm going back a week dude you know they're talking about going back further and further it's and they're like interacting with he like sees his other self like going he's like that's us last week or something like that i remember there was a scene like that i've seen it twice excuse me i've experienced it twice which means i've seen it four times wait a minute time travel time travel all right so this version of you has seen it twice yes because i feel like the only way to experience

it is the way i described where you watch it wikipedia youtube watch it again and now you've got it for like literally a week and then you you're like, wait a minute. What the fuck? Was that him at the end from the beginning? I don't fucking know. I guess I got to see it again. I got to watch it. Yeah. I'm going to check you out. Yeah.

Let me slide in our ads. Taylor is telling me it is time. Real quick, you're double jointed. That's awesome, man. It's called a swan neck deformity. There's no such thing as double jointed. that's awesome man it's called a swan neck deformity there's no such thing as double jointed um basically uh the tendons that would keep my uh that would keep my finger from doing this are like extra loose and long so it allows my finger to go all the way back and so they all do like

it looks like ramsey bolton had like 30 minutes with had his way with me like like like like like my thumb will go all the way back to my wrist. I don't know if this is normal, but my pinky will go all the way across my knuckles. I can't even get my thumb to touch my forearm. Did you say that makes you more susceptible to certain injuries or less? Yeah, you've got a double joint. No, you have all the same joints I have. They're just doing different stuff.

I thought it was just a figure of speech. I didn't really think. Yeah, it's totally a figure of speech. But some people actually believe there's an extra joint, like you're that like backwards legged thing from that charlie sheen movie something a little stupid though but yeah i i used to do all my fingers but like i've jammed and them up so much that i can't do it with all of them now like yeah like the i can't like i can't flip you off without looking retarded you're getting arthritis yeah bro she's crazy.

She really just started having it in the last two months. How old are you? 32. You could just look at his Wikipedia page. I could have, yeah. I didn't know how... Oh yeah, I could do the asthma bit. Yeah, let me talk about it.

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That's T-U-R on the App Store, Google Play, as I said, or just Turo.com. And again, you get $25 off that first trip when you sign up for Turo and use promo code Painkiller at checkout terms apply. I've been meaning to use Turo. I i'm not allowed to leave the state right now but eventually eventually gonna gonna gonna use turo get myself a very interesting little little sports car or something like that maybe uh maybe a mustang i was saying a while back you know wings

thinks that taylor stole his job from or whatever and wings got that v6 mustang and i was like how fun it would be Taylor if like you tweeted at Wings and you were like I'm using all the money that I'm getting doing your job to buy your dream car and you went to Toro and got yourself one of those GT500 Mustangs for the weekend

okay admittedly that is hilarious I would never do that because that is the most mean spirited shit and I don't want a Mustang I'm not a car guy Arian doesn't even seem to see the funny in it it's just mean spirited you have to see mean spirited things as semi funny but even that

yeah Dan where did you get the cards that I love come on come on mean spirited is what we do here I'm not mad at you I'm talking to him. I'm talking to the guy with the head the size of a cantaloupe over there.

Come on. Cantaloupes aren't as big as his head. That's true. Bring in a watermelon reference, Kyle. I picked the wrong fruit. I apologize. They'd let me play in the NFL just for the headbutt capacity. They can't take that guy down. Too big of a head.

I'm glad you mentioned sports because I have become a huge hockey fan. Oh, Jesus Christ. I will say this. The St. Louis Blues got really outplayed last night. The refs did an amazing job. I know there's a little controversy. I watched.

Look, I know a thing or two about hockey, okay? There was nothing wrong with that play, okay? What does icing mean? Oh, that's when you're driving you're muted arian oh did you want to jump in there area i noticed i think can i take it kyle yeah give it a go can i guess yeah you guess first because i'm kind of getting too but go. Is icing the one where you send the puck past too many lines without getting the players to accompany it through those lines?

You're close. That's offsides, what you're saying, but I want to hear Arian's guess. Oh, shit. It might have been two-line pass, too. I think I did the same thing. I think I was thinking the same thing. It's like when, when you, when the puck is too far past anybody that's on the opposition. No, when you pass it too far ahead and you're ahead,

like say I got the puck. It's just a hard to explain. Cause I don't understand this shit. So I got the puck, my team got the puck and I send it cross field. Ice. Cross ice. Send it cross field.

Ice. Cross ice. And my guy is ahead of their guy. Yeah, if he's over that blue line before the puck gets over, that's offsides. Icing is if you shoot it over the too many lines and nobody on your team touches the puck. It's two lines in particular. If you pass it, the center ice line and the goal line. I thought that's kind of what I said. That's what I meant, I guess.

I guess there's like three rules about how far the puck can go in relation to the players. There's two rules. There used to be three. There used to be a two-line pass. See, I'm old school. That's why I said it. Dude, back in olden day hockey, forward passes weren't allowed.

You weren't allowed to pass it forward. It was just guys fighting on the ice as they were trying to bring the puck up. Then they'd drop it to some guy who wasn't getting beat up. Then he'd try and get it forward as far as he could. He starts getting beat up. It really was ice rugby. Kyle, you were talking about your deep knowledge of the game last night between the St. Louis Blues and the San Jose Sharks.

I believe some people were saying it was a hand pass, I believe, but that's not what I saw. I saw that the puck was deflected. The puck was certainly deflected off of the player's hand, but he didn't purposely grab the puck out of midair and then pass it. That's not what happened, and that's not what the referees saw either, and that's why the St. Louis Blues are about to lose the series, but not quite as

miserably as Woody's team. Hey, there hasn't been a team that swept someone in the series and then got swept in the subsequent series since the Islanders that the Hurricanes just beat. I always appreciate the word subsequent.

It's a cool word. It makes you feel smart when you say it. Three syllable words make me feel big brained. Disambiguates my 50 cent word. That's my... So the hand pass thing, it was absolutely... As I was watching this game with my girlfriend last night, it was overtime

and the Sharks, he pushed it. He had a hand pass. A hand pass doesn't mean you close your hand on the puck, Kyle. It just means that you use your hand to move the puck somewhere. I'm aware. And it was unintentional. He hit the puck into the front of the net, and the other Sharks player scored off it.

And my girlfriend was like, oh, damn it. And I was like, babe, it's a hand pass. It was obvious. I caught it. There are four refs on the ice. They're going to catch it. This is getting called back. Don't worry. And then they said, oh, that's a hand pass it was obvious i caught it there are four refs on the ice they're gonna catch it this is getting called back don't worry and then they said oh that's a good goal that's a good goal and the sharks team skated off the ice and the refs skated off the ice and the blues were all

screaming at him the fans were throwing trash at the referees it was such a bad call was it st louis that i guess so yeah yeah in st louis it was just cheap philadelphia it was such a bad call the nhl removed those officials from reffing any other game in the postseason and what is the name of the fucking uh betting website uh uh draft kings or whatever it is refunded everybody's money who bet on the blues money line that's an interesting little that's how bad this call was even like i go to the our hockey reddit all the time and even sharks fans in there were like ah you know i'm happy for this win but holy shit did we get off easy and it's different because the sharks have had the most luck riddled postseason of all time game seven seven of the first round, they're up against the Vegas Golden Knights.

The Vegas Golden Knights are up 3-0. Vegas gets a terrible call called on them that everybody knew was bad, a five-minute major, which means you're a man short for five minutes, and even if they score on that power play, you get to keep your man advantage. The Sharks win because they scored and took the lead on that and then scored in the subsequent overtime. Subsequent, hell yeah. And then game seven of round two.

Three times in this podcast, if anybody's counting. Subsequent, four times. Round two for the Sharks, game seven. There was a goal that got called back for Colorado that later, I saw someone on Reddit again post like, yeah, here's the actual rules. He was getting off the ice. That was an incorrect call. Those refs were removed from future playoff.

We're going to run out of refs. Now game three in the third round gets handed to the Sharks too. And so if you're a fucking Sharks fan out there, do not have the gall to say that officiating is bad. You'll be the first, if you win the Stanley Cup, you'll be the first team in NHL history that only had to win 13 games on their own to get there and to do it.

And so, yeah, I was beyond upset at it. I was so mad last night after the game, getting all pissy, and I was talking with Chiz in the, or no, I think I was either texting him or tweeting him. Maybe Discord, I don't know. And we were talking about it, and he was just trying to troll and give me shit, but a good thing

came out of it. I got so mad that I'm like, I'm just going to watch a fucking movie, one of those movies that Kyle and Woody have been telling me to watch forever. I'm going to put Deliverance on. And so I put Deliverance on and rape scene, not as bad as I was anticipating. I was anticipating it to be a lot

more brutal and horrible, but the guy only screamed like one time in the entire rape. And so maybe it's because I went into it being like, oh, this is going to be the most gruesome, horrible rape scene I've ever seen in my entire life. And then watching it, it wasn't nearly that bad. Yeah, I got a good laugh out of it. Because rape scenes are tough to watch,

way harder than murder scenes. Something about that rape scene. Maybe I put myself in the character's shoes and think, what would I do? I would just be as powerless as he was. And it was... Yeah, you don't have a gun or anything. They're going to kill...

Aaron, have you seen Deliverance? I haven't seen it. Oh, shit. It's a good movie. I think I'm okay. Go ahead and spoil it bro a couple of guys from Atlanta are going to go on a river

canoeing trip, they go up into the Appalachia of northeast Georgia where I'm from where you're stuck no no no, the exact area like Rabun County is 40 minutes from where I'm like actually from from. It's where Woody and I went to go. And I was joking that you can't leave the state.

Oh, but it's true. And the I think it's John Voight, Burt Reynolds and Ned Beatty. If you're familiar with any of those actors and a fourth guy who like, I don't know, Burt Reynolds is like prime Burt Reynolds. He's wearing this get up this sleeveless like rubber thing that looks a lot like what gray worm wears like it looks like gray worms armor but he's just he's burt he's like prime burt reynolds like maybe 35 36 years old an action star he's he's he's he got got good arms he's got his stash hard as fuck. And he's got all these witticisms. He's just like, you don't conquer.

Oh, no, go ahead. I gotta fuck up your. You don't conquer the river. Yeah, you become part of it. And then he just walks away.

Like, he's just always saying like witty, like ridiculous witty shit like that. Some men get the shakes when it comes to killing a deer. They go a whole life without getting a kill not me he just walks away this is always saying some hardcore shit anyway they're in two separate canoes two men per canoe one canoes ahead they pull over to like take a piss i don't remember exactly like they get out and there's two fucking hillbillies and the the hillbillies tie john voight to a tree at gunpoint.

And then they take Ned Beatty and they strip him naked and butt fuck him right there while telling him to squeal like a pig and like twisting his ear. They're like, squeal like a pig. But he's like, I think you are sound, not a boar. Squeal like a pig, boy. Squeal. And he goes, and he like he goes, weee. And Ned Beatty's like, weee. No, squeal like this goes and he like he goes and ned betty's like no squeal like this and he's and he's like he's fucking him over this log it's it's hilarious it's hilarious

it's it's a real good time yeah friendly no it this guy is his friends tied up he's alone in the woods he's getting butt fucked. He's getting humiliated. You can't imagine a more humiliated scenario. You think blue chew will get you hard? Something about when I watch that and put myself in that poor guy's shoes, it's like, I don't know that I'd do any better. You're fucked. Literally.

I thought it was going to be funny if he came over and he's like, you guys can't tell anyone about this but I came but yeah that's what we don't have to go through that movie anymore it's it's a good movie though do we need a new topic yeah yeah we could do you politics is mega interesting right now Alabama Missouri andia are all passing or have passed strong anti-abortion laws they are itching to take it to the supreme court and to change the roe versus wade law of the land and if it goes to the supreme court i think it's going to get overthrown not not roe versus wade but what they're what they're doing i think's going to get overthrown. Not Roe vs. Wade, but what they're doing, I think, is going to get overthrown.

Conservatives have taken over the Supreme Court, right? They've got two new judges, and now they have the 5-4 majority. I don't know that any of these conservatives are pro-choice votes. I don't know. We'll have to see when it comes. But that is interesting how fast that happened, it seems like. I've been having to send my ladies to Florida. It's bullshit.

This is what's burning in my head. There are a lot of people who say they don't care about politics or they're all the same. They're all the same as one I hear too often. And it's like, well, here you go. They're not the same. If you're pro-life, then you're super happy about this. If you're pro-cho well, here you go. They're not the same. This is, if you're pro-life, then you're super happy about this.

If you're pro-choice, they're different. And now you're getting pro-life rushed to the Supreme Court. And in Alabama, I'm not 110% sure it's a bad thing. I saw some guy on Reddit say, this is the end of democracy. Look how terrible. No, in Alabama, these people ran on a pro-life

platform they made no secret what their stance was they said if i get in power i'm gonna fix this child murder thing and then they got voted in and they did it that's democracy yeah well sometimes democracy sucks it does sometimes you need democracy to protect flag burners right it was a really popular position when i was in high school to dictators when i was in high school you know people burn this flag with you know on their t-shirt or whatever like i dare you on muscle dude and you needed like judges or someone to say you know what that's free speech and i need to protect the rights of the minority and you know sometimes one system fits and sometimes the other does so alabama voted for pro-life alabama got pro-life is that good or bad do we need to protect the

rights of the minority in alabama or well i mean if that's what they voted for that's what they're gonna get but it I don't know I don't like when they create black markets For things like that because women are still going to try and get abortions And they're going to end up getting hurt In ways that they don't Or they're going to have to leave to a different state The nation voted for Trump

Trump said he literally gave a list Of people that he would put on the Supreme Court And then he did what he said he was going to do So I don't know if Kavanaugh or Gorsuch that he would put on the Supreme Court and then he did what he said he was going to do. I don't know if Kavanaugh or Gorsuch will vote to overturn Roe v. Wade. If he would have put that Amy Barrett woman in, she would have been an undoubted vote it down.

I think Kavanaugh is an undoubted. Kavanaugh is undoubted. Maybe it's Gorsuch I'm thinking of that's more up in the air. Yeah, I don't know. It's not going to surprise me if it gets overturned, but it's just not the logical thing to do. Because I'm not...

I'm pro-choice, but I'm not pro-choice staunch. I'm really on the fence. This is the one political issue where I really honestly, genuinely see both sides. I get it. I totally get it. This is the one political issue where I'm like i really honestly genuinely see both sides i get it i totally get it like this is the one political issue i'm like i don't know y'all got it but i got better things to do you can't be dealing no i just like i just can imagine me

having any say so on what anybody else chooses to do which i mean what is interesting about like conservatives in general is like they're always like smaller government, smaller government, smaller government, but the government is directly influencing this situation. But they're all anti-murder. I could make that conservative argument. They're not anti-murder. In certain situations. They're anti-murdering innocent people. They're usually pro-death penalty.

Yeah, yeah. I knew you were going with that. But they're anti – they usually protect innocent people. Here's where I am. I feel like everybody agrees that at some point most abortion is wrong, right? Life of the mother. Rape, incest. That wasn't where I was going with – if we're talking about an eight and a half month old fetus, I guess I'm looking for terms.

Then health of the mother and viable fetus become, in my mind, still reasons to abort. The kid's just going to die in painful two days. And those are extremely rare, by the way. Those are the common reasons for eight and a half month abortions. They're rare. They're eight and a half month abortions are rare. But if they do happen, it's usually because of those two things. So anyway, but eight and a half month, totally healthy kid, i think we all agree that's not a good thing right and then like plan b i feel

like we all agree that's an okay thing right that's not a problem somewhere in the middle that fetus becomes a person that shouldn't be aborted it really is so hard to like go ahead arian you know that's the that's the issue is we're we're really trying to legislate ideas, right? Because biologists are still on the fence of what is life, like what is actually life? Because you can have an argument for like this means life, and then you can have the antithesis of what we still consider life, but doesn't meet those requirements. so this is like a it's like an issue that touches all parameters of science and emotions and everything that's why i'm on the fence i usually i try to go always with the most logical conclusion but this this is something that we just don't actually know and you have people that feel strongly on either side and i get that i get their argument the issue i have is is i think is democracy right and it's it's what socrates actually warned about about democracy he didn't like democracy for the fact that is if you have a group of people that are

fucking stupid that whatever they want might not be the best option for them right so this is what i feel like happened in alabama this i think it's because exactly what you said is you'll create a black market for it, right? Prohibition was still happening without alcohol. Easy area. It's the truth. It is. Yeah. Prohibition, like alcohol was as big as ever. Doesn't matter.

Drugs, people are still doing drugs to this day. I plan on doing LSD really soon. It's going to be amazing. But it doesn't matter what you do. Don't put that on me, though. Yeah, don't think about spiders. Whatever you do, do not associate LSD and spiders. Keep those things separate in your mind.

LSD and spiders. No. You can't be thinking about your life's biggest regrets and the mistakes that you've made in the past and and how if you'd turned left instead of right like god knows where you'd be and you can't think about like like the things the people you've lost and like your biggest fears and like being alone in the darkness and just feeling cold wet walls around you and hearing don't think for a second about that girl who crawls out of the well in the ring. Dude, that chick is scary shit.

She's awful. I'm glad we could help, Arian. Have any of y'all done any LSD? Psychedelics kind of freak me out. So no, I don't have experience. What are you hoping to get from it? Well, see, I did mushrooms when I was a kid. psychedelics kind of freak me out like I so no I don't have experience what are you hoping to get from it well see I did mushrooms when I was a kid I was a kid I was like 12 13 and you were a kid yeah that's kid I grew up in I grew up in

Albuquerque New Mexico and that's where Breaking Bad was and so Breaking Bad is kind of accurate in the sense that like it's really it's easy to get drugs and like everybody does it cuz like as a, there's nothing to do there. There's no kind of attractions. I was about to say, dude, you're from Albuquerque? Yeah, I grew up there. Man, I've been there a lot. That's not a fun place.

No, it's not, right? But it's cool to visit. It's cool. If you were an elderly person and you wanted a slow town to just kind of just relax. A place to die. Yeah. It's a great place. Everything else is dead there. What's the MMA gym there? person like you wanted a slow town to like just kind of a place to die yeah yeah everything else is dead there the land what's the mma gym there i always tell people i'm like it's big on mma and

boxing was big too um i don't know if you remember uh johnny tapia and danny romero like they were really big like i've been to like 40 states or something like that and mostly drive a lot of driving so i like got to see like the whole state not something like that and mostly a lot of driving so I got to see the whole state not just visiting a city or whatever and I always tell people the ugliest state in the fucking union is Albuquerque everything there is dead or dying they have like

one color and it's like brownish gray the only green is like scrub brush and cactus I was out in like the rough I don't want to's like the only green is like scrub brush and cactus i was out in like the rough i don't say like the country of of of like new mexico whole shit is the country really exactly that's why i like it's kind of hard to even explain but like a small town there is a there were people living in shacks made out of van tops you know they used to cut the top set

of vans and then put that fiberglass top on them to make it a conversion van. And Albuquerque is like a passing town. It's outside. It's not that bad, bro. No, Albuquerque is like a decent city or whatever. It's grown, but you're right. It's really... Yeah.

If I hadn't had that bottle of codeine, I don't know what I'd have done. You know what's bad? Harlan, Kentucky. Have you been there? bad? You guys probably, Harlan, Kentucky. Have you been there? Yeah. You've been to Harlan, Kentucky? I've been all over Kentucky.

Dude, Harlan struck me. So I spent some time there. We used to go off-roading, and it's a good spot to go. Like, people living in tree houses, right? Tree houses with no windows. They just had plastic over where a window ought to be. And I'm like, really? A grown man

lives in an unfinished child's treehouse? They're like, yeah. I would love to live in a treehouse. I don't think so. That would be pretty fucking cool. Until you have a bad day at work or something, and then you get home and you have to climb your rope ladder. You recognize this is just an unfinished box of plywood in a tree and it's higher than you're picturing it's like 100 feet

up but imagine imagine you had a tree house that had like wi-fi and it was like modern that shit would be dope as fuck is there an elevator in this tree house it's gotta be kentucky's fucking garbage dude like like fucking i remember being in louisville i've been in louisville and and just uh i i had guys with me who were like ex-military and they and they they were they're in the car behind us they're canadian military though so like you know and right mounties no that's police that's canadian police or whatever you know i just i just joined for the free education i don't want to harm nobody now these were guys who'd smoke some people over overseas like they were legit like canadian military and they had their guns with

them right i was doing some stuff with them i took them they followed us through a certain part of like louisville and we got out like at a gas station like they're like i don't know about this place uh it's kind of rough kind of rough around the edges hey i had my i had my ar in my hands the whole way he's got his right he's got his rifle like like like scared that we're about to get attacked because i leave the car here are they gonna steal my hockey stuff they wouldn't know what to do with it no not in kentucky and not in that part of Kentucky it was rough I I've never I've been all over Kentucky like every single major city um that that's where we uh got into that mess uh at that strip club where I tweeted out and Facebooked out their phone number and uh and

they were blowing they were blowing up the people's phone and my buddy was just like oh it got out that we were going to be here tonight. When in reality, we had made everybody call. It got out that we were going to be here. He's like, I don't know who you guys are, but we had Kid Rock in here, and it was nothing like this. It was nothing like this. Kid Rock didn't fucking tweet it. Yeah, exactly.

Kid Rock just went and saw some titties. Meanwhile, we're causing a fucking problem. They're giving us free drinks and shit and it's fire yeah it was it was it was silly yeah we were in kentucky and uh we're talking about the talking to the owner of a pizza restaurant and this guy was way excited like his life was going to turn around because he just got approved to accept food stamps and the whole town was on food stamps and they were going to start eating there. Oh shit, that's great.

That is great. I've told this joke before but we were driving through Kentucky and it was maybe the first time we'd ever been there and the road was kind of this winding country road and the electric poles were alternating left side of the road, right side of the road

and so the wires were pulling the poles in like over the road a little bit in a way that we news that we'd never seen before and my cousin was like what is up with that i'm like scott don't be too hard on these people they only got electricity a few years ago yeah it yeah kentucky's rough and west virginia's worse though let me just say that i i i like new mexico is the least attractive state i've ever been to and uh but but west virginia has the least attractive people in it is there any group of people on earth or of any group of white people on earth poorer than west virginians because every video i've watched on youtube of them is like jesus christ like what year do you think it is there has to be i'm like

maybe mississippi but man they're so no poland's doing pretty good like they're like i mean if you were looking for one of those it'd probably be better like a further east european country but even then like so many areas in west virginia just fucking abject poverty like all those mines and all those coal shafts or whatever like they're done and so entire economy is just like well i guess we're gonna just live in the woods and eat like that is that their accent that's how to sound right there you go they speak with a whistly s hey it's a gap it's genetic malformality i don't actually know how they sound right there. You go up there and whisper. They speak with a wistfully ass. Hey, it's a gap in their teeth. It's the way they sound. It's genetic malformality.

I don't actually know how they sound, but I know they don't sound like I do. They spit a lot. They spit a lot, I'll tell you that. I've got a perfect Midwest accent. That's why all the people on TV from the Midwest, we have neutral accents. Everyone can understand us.

I went to West Virginia to meet this mountain who who wrote a bunch of ballistics books and uh and uh because he had this uh 20 millimeter rifle and he was like the only person on the eastern seaboard who had one and uh so we had to drive up through this mountain he owned a mountain and uh but we stopped at this town at the base of the mountain and we went to like Walmart and this, uh, this little shitty steak restaurant that was like a joined, uh, or like attached to the parking lot. And at some point, I don't remember how long into the like Walmart slash steakhouse trip. One of us was like, you notice we haven't seen like an attractive woman yet here. Like, like not one it's the middle of summer. It's's it's saturday afternoon like we've seen we've seen hundreds of people for sure i haven't seen a girl that fuck yet though have you and and i was

like you know yeah no not at all and then you start looking right you start looking for one so you can like prove them wrong they're like ah look at her and and no all the and waitresses are often cute i i think it helps with that that occupation if you are what these waitresses were beat they were just every one of them was nasty you couldn't lower your standards a little i'm telling you they were gross like like like they're like like it was either really overweight women or really skinny women with heads that look like a lollipop on a stick. Like they just, just, just buck teeth and bug eyes and greasy straight hair and fucking, fucking pigeon toed bitches that are, that are like, they're married to their uncle, dad,

or some shit. I don't fucking know. There's definitely inbreeding going up on, going on up in West Virginia. And I feel free to say these things because there's no way those West Virginia hicks have enough bandwidth to hear what I'm saying. Taylor, do you have a story to read? Yes. So this is the story that, you know, topics get suggested all the time on our subreddit, the r slash pka. And usually they'll get like, you know, a few dozen upvotes. This one got like 500. And so I'm like, I'm reading this

for the good folks at home. Sit right back and you'll hear it. The tale of a homeless dick. The first link I put there is to the story I'm going to read. The second one under where I wrote, do not show the following link, Woody. Do not show it. Is don't show that. Those are pictures to go

along with this story. It's the same guy. Alright. I know, but here's some context for it. This is called Snacking on a Homeless Guy's Anus. Today I fucked up by snacking on a homeless

guy's anus. I was cruising for some ass last night. I get super horny on the weekend. guy's anus. I was cruising for some ass last night. I get super horny on the weekend. It's kind of like I have a dark side that nobody sees. All week I'm nice to people at work. I'm really polite to my family and neighbors. But on the weekend, I want to be a dirty ass trash bag. It turns me on.

So I go cruising for ass. I tend to get ass with truckers in the truck stop bathrooms. And then my favorite is after high profile Christian events. I get a lot of Christian guys in the bathroom down to fuck. I got sick of scouting out public bathrooms and dark alleys, so I decided to try cruising the main streets. I'll make the symbol, see if anybody responds back. After a night of no luck, my boner was raging hard through my pants

as I was just about to give up and go into the McDonald's bathroom to fap, so I could ease... this guy's a terrible writer. When I decided to walk up another street, looked less busy. I walked up the street and passed a homeless guy who winked at me and shook his cup. For some reason that wink connected with my boner and it threw shreds of my moral compass

out the damn window. I bent down to his level and pointed to my penis bulging through my pants. He nodded and said the location for the fuck. It was behind an abandoned commercial property. He seemed to have found a small shelter behind it that could be used, that used to be its store and shed, maybe for old boxes or storage. Who knows? It was like this homeless guy knew every spot of the street by heart. He looked pretty dirty. His face and hands were crusted with dirt and his nails were starting to harden yellow with the filth. They were pretty long.

I shuddered as he ran them down my cheek and put one of his fingers in my mouth. The throbbing boner just got harder. I was finding it completely disgusting, yet so sexy. My mind was confused. The taste of sour gone-off bacon rose in my mouth as I tasted his finger. He pulled down my pants and started to suck on my penis.

His mouth was like a black hole with about six rotted stumps of teeth. His tongue was fairly large. As he let it slide, I felt his teeth wobble as he went down fast on my penis. I could smell his saliva, and it smelled like blue cheese. I surprisingly didn't gag. It just reminded me of snacking on a cheese platter at the theater events that I am invited to attend. I started to moan with pleasure and push him playfully away from my penis. I was ready to taste his. I pulled down his trousers or what was left of them and his now yellowed underwear. I started to suck on his penis.

I noticed there were weeping sores on them, so I tried to be gentle. I didn't want any to burst in my mouth. The taste was like as if I bent down over a urinal and licked the rim. It wasn't great, but he was enjoying it. I spun him around and opened his ass cheeks. I started to lick his dried poop and dirt-crusted anus. With every pump of my penis and every jolt, a foul odor emanated from his ass. I started to feel the cum forcing its way down my peanuts

into his asshole. I pulled out and I seen his eyes were soft and warm beneath the filthy exterior. I started to feel sorry for him. so I asked what does he enjoy. He told me, my ass eaten. He bent over and I went to town on his ass. I ate his ass like a snack. He was moaning and letting out wet smacks from his mouth.

I felt like my tongue was on fire, though. It wasn't a good sensation. He soon blasted cum all over the wall, and it dripped down his legs and thighs. He pulled his trousers right up over the mess. He then lifted his cup and shook it. I was then reminded that I fucked a desperate homeless guy. I gave him some ass eating because I felt sorry for him. I handed over $50 and his eyes lit up.

He actually pulled me in for a hug and kissed my cheek. He actually said goodbye to me and that I was his favorite. I walked away stunned. I felt so warm and fuzzy inside from the hug and the sentiment, but yet so disgusted with myself for what I'd done. I had to walk really fast back to my vehicle. I was paranoid about the smell that was lingering on me. It was really foul. My car stunk up like a rotting roadkill. I could feel pieces of silt in my mouth. Luckily, I only lived five minutes from town, so it was a quick journey home. I rushed inside and straight to the bathroom.

There was a ring of brown and black around my mouth my hands were stained yellow i pulled off my clothes and my penis was literally 50 shades of brown i grabbed a toothbrush in my colgate and i stood in that warm hot shower brushing my teeth in it with roasting water i could see the filth and dirt wash away in the water and down the drain it's been just a couple hours since it's a filthy shock is creepy and that is pka's cool ass guy that was too much i thought and also i didn't believe it you know that's real it's not pictures yes it is those are the pictures that same account linked to that look you believe those pictures i believe them he even had like a detailed description in that other thread about how he got nutty shit up in his dick hole and

was trying to get it out that's real woody that's real that's real degeneracy and i don't know why you fucks wanted me to read that yeah that's fucking horrible arian's better than this that's fucking horrible that's the most disgusting that's the most disgusting thing to do of all time to eat out a homeless man's shitty asshole but that also takes determination this guy if he took a left if he zigged when he should have zagged in life

he could have been on seal team 6 what horrible thing would you rather do than what this man just described what's the most horrible what's the most horrible thing that you can think of that you would do rather than do what this man just described? I'd kill 600 puppies with a claw hammer. Oh, I got no problem with that anyway.

I mean, the weekend comes around. What are you going to do? I'd rather kill that homeless guy with a claw hammer. I'd kill the homeless guy with a claw hammer. I'd kill the homeless guy with a claw hammer. If I could get away with it. Can't I just not do it? Honestly, Kyle, name the most disgusting thing you can think of, and I don't think it matches this guy's real story.

I don't think this guy... I don't think the story's real. I'm not buying it. I'm not buying it at all. Did you look at the pictures? There's pictures. Yes. There's poop all over his...

It didn't even look like poop to me. Don't look at the photos. Don't look at the pictures. That's because you have healthy poops. You've never had a homeless poop. No. That's right. That's right. I mean, what would you rather do? Or what would it take for you to choose this instead,

Kyle? Like fucking your own dad? Yeah. Come on, Dad. Take one for the team. Look what I have to do otherwise. I can tell you for sure I'd rather fuck your dad than I'd fuck your dad for sure. I'd rather your dad do that.

This is an SNL skit on this. I'd fuck all three of your dads. I mean, if we could find Arians. Before I do that. 100%. I'm going to FaceTime himTime him, he gonna fuck you up. He's in Georgia. Yeah, he's in Georgia. Kyle's not leaving Georgia.

Please, Mr. Foster, I apologize. I'm so sorry, it was a joke on our stupid show. Based on your son, I would say you're a big dude. I don't want any... Why do white dudes do this? This is always interesting.

White dudes? Why do black dudes overgeneralize? Help me out. Help me out. Help me out. Tell me I'm wrong here. Okay. Go for it.

I used to... You know what I'm saying? It always happened in the locker room, right? Oh, you've mentioned it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I walk... What is that? Why do you... Wait, what happened in the locker room? Can you've mentioned yeah yeah yeah so i walk like what is

that why do you wait what happened in the locker room can you refresh my walk i'll walk in and be like arian bro listen listen would you rather fuck a goat or drink horse urine and you're just like i take it back you're right white dudes do that oh it's a whole game would you rather yeah if we got rid of that our show wouldn't exist it's part of game of thrones i don't know why they played would you rather in episode two but they did like i mean i don't i i think or never have i ever they played like it makes me laugh like thinking about and like making people be uncomfortable like i don't want to think about this situations yeah it's weird dog i just and they just, they do a lot like, Yeah, you know, when I'm not on this program, I don't do it very much.

No, I get the evil out of this is where I get all of it out. Get it out somehow. What would you say is the black equivalent of that? That, like, you know, you're saying, oh, white guys are always doing this. Is there a black equivalent of that that like you know you're saying oh white guys are always doing this is there a black equivalent in your mind yeah i would say yeah probably ranking on somebody kicking a dozen so like neither of these things are making any sense to me so like oh ranking so like ranking on somebody kicking a dozen talking talking long about people like so just clowning them so like what do you have to make fun of your cargo shorts or they're not cargo shorts i'll rank a baker's dozen on your ass

that's what you do you just talk shit about about the outfit, about the teeth, about the face, about the girl, about the whatever. Oh, Patrice O'Neill, God rest his soul, used to talk about that all the time. Oh, he was old ONA. I don't know if you've ever listened to Opie and Anthony, that old radio show. He was one of the most popular guests. He would come in and have everybody in stitches. So fucking funny. He was talking about that once, clowning on some... It was like a transsexual or trans no transvestite woman where like she came

up to him and he was with jim norton and jim was like explaining the whole like riff back and forth between the the the black uh transvestite that's when you just dress up right yeah yeah transvestite versus patrice and he was talking about the dissing. And he's like, I'll never forget it. Patrice was like, bitch, you got so many gaps in your teeth. Looks like your tongue's in jail. And I was like, that is fucking hilarious. And he always had like fucking quick ass quips like that.

God, I'm ashamed. We used to do that at lunch. Like at lunch, like we couldn't wait. Like we would we get in a circle and we just start going at each other like people walking by get it never went too far like that like it's fun games and then it hurts someone's feelings no did you have to you don't get your feelings hurt man and if you do you just like a lame do you recall any like really good jabs that got you where you were like god damn it i didn't see that coming they always got me with the same shit so my moles they would always get on my moles um what else would they do so i'm half i'm half mexican right so my

mother's mexican okay and so they would go with the mexican jokes all day long the mexican jokes and how i know i'd get them is i go back with some black jokes and they'd be like, hey, man, come on, man. Like, yeah, that's right. So that's that's the culture, though. It's like it's like you just shit talking to like a very high degree. And it's really it's really brilliant. It's like really witty. It's I miss it, actually, man, because like I'm an adult now and I have to do things.

I miss it actually man because I'm an adult now and I have to do things that was always the funnest part about locker rooms was just riffing and making fun of each other and like always having the understanding of like you know no matter how brutal we get right now we're all on the same team trying to do the same thing like we're just

this is building camaraderie so Woody's point though like if you have because you know if you get a group of people like somebody's not going to like somebody if you got a group of people Like somebody's not gonna like somebody If you got like beef with somebody And like you don't like each other, usually you don't joke on them Like if there's a dude that I don't fuck with That's true

Like nah, I'm not taking no jokes from you Like it's deeper than this joke shit With me and you So usually just stay away from those kids I imagine you're usually alpha in this though Right, like I imagine you're usually alpha in this though, right? I imagine you're usually alpha in this. I mean, you're a professional athlete.

So, probably all the locker rooms you're in, maybe even through pro, but definitely before that, you always had that trump card. Right? Of being a pro? Of being a better athlete than the guy you're talking to

that's not really something you joke you don't you don't joke on like that stack ranking exists in the background yeah but it that kind of goes away which is the beauty of it right the hierarchy the hierarchy dissipates and it's more about who's wittier it's more whoever's more funny like there's a dude we played with in high school who was terrible at sports couldn't play no it was funny as shit and he come out on top a lot of the times and so that shit kind of goes to the wayside like when you're just joking on like it's that's an interesting social dynamic now that i think about it yeah i'm interested too and i wonder if the other people would agree right like like successful people are always like i got here through hard work and gumption if the other people would agree. Successful people are always like,

I got here through hard work and gumption. And then unsuccessful people are like, no, you didn't. It was probably inheritance or some sort of social leg up. You didn't build this. Whatever. So you might think you had no advantage in that,

but that's what successful people think. Yeah. There's no telling. I don't think that comes into play, though, with the jokes. Anybody can get it. That's what's so fun. I love shit-talking with people. It's just great.

It makes you feel... It really is just like a male bonding thing. It builds camaraderie, for sure. Like when you say something really mean about someone's appearance, then they come back with telling me about how... Specifically how large my head is. It's great. It's as big as a cantaloupe.

Well, cantaloupes aren't really that big. This is not a good one. That's proportionate to me, man. I had to do a lot of weightlifting to make that happen. Just from my angle, man. Thank you. That's all I can speak for. You guys want to do this one?

I'm sewing that quote from Arian Foster, former NFL player, into a throat pillow so that I can always have that on the call. Hey, this professional athlete who has a successful podcast. Yeah, I do crochet. We want to take a moment. You guys want to do this one?

Do what? The link, I just linked it. Man shouts at local weather news team for tornado. Dude, it's pretty funny. I'm down. Ready, set, play. We want to take a moment today and talk to you about severe weather. This weekend during game seven of the NBA

semifinals here on ABC 13, we had a tornado warning in our area. Now it's our commitment to you that when we do have a tornado warning that we go on the air and stay on until it is over and you are safe. This weekend, per our severe weather policy, we broke into programming with the tornado warning. Where do you hear the complaints? They're fantastic. But apparently, that upset some of you. And I'd just like to say, I thank you for absolutely ruining Game 7 of Denver vs. Portland.

You have to show a f***ing tornado warning for over a half an hour. We get it? There's a tornado. The new caller. We've been on the TV for over 20 minutes, and I'm trying to watch the last three minutes, not on the BS split stream.

This is BS. You guys are terrible at your job. Tonight, we are not going to apologize for what we did. If you're watching this from Bedford, for example, you're are terrible at your job. Tonight, we are not going to apologize for what we did. If you're watching us from Bedford, for example, you're just as important to us as someone watching us from Danville or Lynchburg. Whenever there is a tornado warning, lives are at risk. This is Franklin County in April after an EF3 tornado.

In April. And this is in Elan and Campbell County after last year's EF3-rated tornado. Let's show some footage from Twister. Yeah. He's not showing footage from the tornado they ruined Game 7 about. You never know when someone new is tuning in looking for critical information to protect themselves and their families. We take this responsibility very seriously.

And if we had a chance to do it all over again, we would. Thank you for watching ABC 13, especially during severe weather. I like it. He's just saying, fuck you. I don't know. That was a very subtle way. If we had a chance to do it again, the pause, we would. I'm with the callers on this one you know it was game seven man there's three minutes left i'm with the weatherman too i'm with the weatherman though you you gotta tell people if there's a life-danger situation out there it's a fucking game oh can't you do a crawl or something and also it's 2019 you got hulu you guys stream the shit if it's 2019. You got Hulu. You stream the shit. If it's that, stream it somewhere else, dog. Yeah, what kind of boomer retard has one method of not watching it taken away?

He's like, wow, I'm extraordinary. There's nothing else I could possibly do. Those people didn't sound like they were 75 years old. That's what I'm saying. Well, they have a boomer mentality then. No. Google that shit. Yeah, you're talking about pirating streams

College athletes will never get paid With you people Nah Hulu streams live games now Do they really? I didn't know You can't sign up for Hulu and watch live games Because it's a 20 minute thing on I'm checking out the score right now

I'm saying that you can't Do it in time It's 3 minutes left in game 7 Do you have a team that you can't do it in time. It's three minutes left in game seven. Do you have a team that you pull for, Arian? No, I just watch good games. Oh, okay. I just watch good games. Do you still watch football or basketball more now?

I probably watch basketball more than I watch football. Come on, you must have some. My team is the Lakers, but it's only because of Kobe. So that's just – I roll with – Well, I'm extending the bandwagon from the 76ers to you. Jump on. I'm straight. I'm good.

I'm all right. I'm good over here. Yeah, the 76ers are known divers. A little bit. I don't even know enough about basketball to make a comment. Not the worst, though. I don't know. They commit a lot of fouls.

They're fun. They tanked games on purpose. They got a bunch of draft picks. And now one of those drafts, they called it the process. They say, trust the process. We're going to lose. We're going to help us eventually win. And now Joel Embiid, he's trademarked or copyrighted the process.

And he calls himself the process and he interviews him and he says, trust the process. It's fun. Your Hurricanes, Woody, have been swept by the Boston Bruins in the Eastern Conference Finals. You know, I don't think the better team won and we should do a do-over. That's a copypasta on

our hockey now from like three years ago where a Hawks fan... I figured you did, but I know these two didn't know we're like I think it was it may have been the one where the Hawks lost the Blues or something like that and they were like some like

honestly the better team didn't win this is bullshit people are gonna be upset in a fair world they'd redo this entire series obviously the Hawks is superior to any like listed a bunch of shit People are going to be upset. In a fair world, they'd redo this entire series. Obviously, the Hawks are superior. And they listed a bunch of shit. And everybody just made it copy pasta and roasted them.

Because that's beyond retard. I have one hockey experience. What's that? I've never watched it. I mean, you grew up hearing about Wayne Gretzky. That's about it. And never watched any of the other things. So 2015, I'm in New York for like a business trip and one of the dudes that I did some business with he has like I don't they

weren't on the glass but there was like some rose up like really nice seats and you could see everything I was like I was impressed and so it was the Rangers versus couldn't take somebody else and else. And there's this thing that they shout. The New York Rangers always shout, like, somebody sucks. Who is it? Do you know who it is? Probably the goalie or something. I don't remember.

I don't know the Rangers' chance. It's like somebody from their rival team. They're like, somebody sucks. Anyway, I had a great experience, all that shit. It was dope. It was like zero zero and then all of a sudden at the end i think they they both scored so it got real fucking exciting real fast and i'm already drunk and then so it went into overtime and so my first and i and i think it's not it's not um penalty shots eventually it's a shootout yeah i think Eventually, it's a shootout.

Yeah, I think it did go into a shootout, though. Yeah, they play in overtime, and if that doesn't solve it, they do a shootout. I think that's what happened. So my first hockey game ever was exciting as shit, and I wanted to get into it, but I lost the interest again. But it was dope. I was a fan for two months after that. Did you root for the rangers after that because yeah i did i got a jersey and everything it's a cool sport to watch like it's just it it gets away with more than the other of the four major sports because it's so much less popular than football and basketball and baseball and so like like the fact that fighting

is still allowed i'm super stoked on like eventually there's going to be some bullshit where it's like oh so much cte and this and that and oh all these enforcers are killing themselves years after the you know pretty similar to nfl stuff like you heard girls hockey has the worst CTE? No, I've never heard that. They're not even allowed to hit. I know. Study after study shows that girls hockey has the worst CTE. And I don't know if it's that maybe girls... Kyle, why is it? Kyle, tell

me why. Bitches are clumsy, man. They don't blow their heads off. Well, there you go. Now we know. You should know barefoot and pregnant there's two theories one is that maybe girls aren't better taking shots to the head maybe they have like weaker necks or something and the other is that um i do know this is that uh uh they get hit when they're not ready for it uh that might be true oh because they're never preparing for the hit they're never bracing themselves because they're not supposed to get hit they don't keep their head up my girl my mother every i said i want a typecast but like

a lot of women that i've experienced anecdotal with a lot of women that i've had experience with they don't know how to fall like there's a there's a way to fall and like brace yourself and like the ground's coming but a lot yeah like sometimes you just fall real goofy and i think that affects the damage that you take oh yeah women women fall like three-year-olds yeah absolutely they don't know how to break their fall they don't want to roll head height bang and they just plant they don't know how to like roll they don't know how to like like like throw a shoulder and a forearm down and like let the momentum carry them on. I've fallen a lot.

Doing all kinds of stupid shit and playing sports and mostly doing stupid shit. Jumping off of bucket buildings and- Stealing batteries. Big rope swings. Well, sometimes the- Escaping Walmart. That mall cop sees you with a pocket full of AAAs. You got to hit the bricks, son.

Whoa, I thought you limited your thievery to nine. All right, I'll be honest. Batteries in general are overpriced. AA, AAAs, car batteries, they're all overpriced. You got a fucking car battery under your shirt? You get a car battery under your hoodie, you're a master thief. I've never stolen anything.

But I did in college. We used to go to, I think it was called Marshall's? Yeah. And we used to switch the tags. They were sticky. Oh, you've stolen them. No, no, no, hear me out.

It was broke. but we switched no i just paid less than they're worth we switched the tags right and then when i was little i didn't steal it but tell me if this is petty i had like i had it i had one of my one of my dudes who he had money i didn't i grew up super broke and like one of my dudes who, he had money. I grew up super broke. And one of my favorite rappers at the time, I think it was a DMX CD, It's Dark and Hell Is Hot, that CD came out. And I was telling them about it before it got popular, right? And I was like, yo, this new CD's coming out. I've heard some songs. It's great.

Woo-de-woo. And he ended up getting it. And i was pissed at him that he got it so i took his cd and i scratched it that's like the word that's the worst thing i've done it's bad because i was pissed i was pissed at him i was pretty it was pretty petty you just pissed at him because he bought something well he didn't buy it his parents did i was more salty the fact that i like he was one of those dudes that like whatever you did he did like that type and this one was just over the top i couldn't take it anymore and i was pissed and i wanted to ruin his cd and i did that so he like mentioned that he was getting

the cd or you had mentioned that he that you were getting the CD, and that was enough for him to get it. Yeah, yeah. And he wasn't even into him. He just got it because I said something. Do you have rich parents? Yeah. He could have done it better, right? Like, if he got it, he could have been like,

dude, I got this thing. I know you'll like it. You want to hear? Yeah. It didn't sound like, yeah, it sounded like. It could burn you one right like burn that shit yeah i don't know not anymore yeah yeah i stole a kid's hearing aid one time that is that is so fucking funny how did how did you do that actually he couldn't hear you

sneaking up on me once you get the hearing aid, you can just rob him blind. By that measure, I feel like I could steal glasses. I could steal Taylor's glasses. Oh, Anthony Jesselnik's... I'm stealing the contacts out of my eyes. Anthony Jesselnik's got this hilarious joke about stealing the glass eye from the little girl who lives in his neighborhood. He's like, you gotta be real

careful, because you picked the wrong eye well well i mean that that's how she ended up with the glass eye in the first place yeah yeah i was uh i was in kindergarten though and uh i think the kids like hearing aid had like the batteries had died or something because it was on the teacher's desk it's all batteries batteries right and yeah and i was like there's got to be some serious batteries inside of here no it was it looked cool like it was one of the big hearing aids and like five-year-old me it looked like a little gadget like a little ray gun or something

and so i snatched that fucker and then i was at the lunch table with it using it like a ray gun going pew pew pew and uh a teacher saw me with and she was was like, where'd you get that? And I was like, it's mine. It's my hearing aid. She's like, how'd you hear me then? And you were like, fuck, I've been fooled. I'm five.

I don't have a witty comeback for this. So I got busted for stealing the kid's hearing aid, I guess. I guess he was going around, just going, meow. No, he's going around going, what? What? That's pretty bad.

That's worse than scratching the TV. I feel better. Oh, that's definitely worse than scratching the CD. I was five. I was five. I don't care. No, you were a malicious five-year-old. Give me a heroic Kyle story. Give me something that you're proud of. You're like, you know what? I did the right thing. Ooh, now you're making it tough. He's going to go back to

when he was two. Oh, man. Ah, well, my sister fell in a swimming pool, was drowning once, and I sounded the alarm, and Dad got her. And he was, you know, he stepped away, so maybe the alarm and, uh, dad got her. Um, and, and he was, you

know, he stepped away. So maybe she doesn't survive if I don't yell. Um, my dad and I were tracking a wounded deer one time and it, we found it in a ravine and, uh, the, the, my dad goes to grab the deer to drag it out. And the deer comes to life while he's holding the deer's antlers and it's fighting with him. It's like a full size, big buck deer. And he can't let go of the deer because he's afraid it'll trample me. Because I'm like, maybe five. And I didn't run away, though. I stayed and tried to defend my dad with my slingshot. Of course, I'm stupid and fucking five years old.

I should have been running so that dad could let go of the deer. But it all worked out, the deer. But you wanted to be honorable. Yeah, I was shooting acorns at the fucking deer with my slingshot because I wanted to defend my dad. So you weren't helping. I was honorable. I did the best I could.

What's an honorable story you got, Arian? I got a bunch of them, man. I'm a good dude. Man, but I know. Try and sift through and find just one. Alright, let me think. man but i know but try and sift through and find just one all right let me think um uh all right no that's that's really bad uh man that's tough because i got a lot of them all right one time

uh it's not i I don't know. You know, none of this is going to come off as braggy. No, that's what it sounds like. So it's like one time, it's okay. It's a really cool story. One time I was in the league and I got a phone call. Well, I didn't answer. I got an answering machine.

I got an answering machine. What the fuck am I saying? I got a voicemail from something like machine. I got an answer machine. What the fuck am I saying? I got a voicemail from something like, she sounded like an old, old lady. And she was just like distraught. Like, I just don't, I don't think we're going to, I don't think we're going to make it this month. If you could just send a $25 dear. And she was like calling somebody who, I guess it's the wrong number, right? She was she was like can you just can you just send the 25 i said all i need is just the 25 you could just send that i think like marge or something she's talking about um she's like you said i'd appreciate it thank you so much and so uh i i just felt she sounded so sincere that she was like short 25 and like so i called her back and i

gave her like i don't know like 300 400 just like yes300 or $400. I kind of had the opposite thing one time. That must have blown her mind. That probably took care of so many additional problems she had. She was like, man, I need $100 for this, $100 for that. I thought I would have this $25 for this and now I don't even have that. That's a very kind thing to do. I felt the opposite. Yeah, this lady called and had the wrong number.

And so you stole $300 to $400. Yeah. She was like, how's it going or whatever? How's Jerry? Oh, you ever heard? Jerry's in jail. What? Oh, jeez.

Yeah. Jerry got locked up. For what? Drugs again. Again? Good guess. You know, Jerry, and we can't bail him out. We're trying to get up to $700 to bail him out.

We don't have it. We don't have it. Well, I guess I could chip in. Chip in nothing. We're going to need $700. It kept it going for a while before we told the truth He was pretty distraught about Jerry who are the fuck daddy see now that seems mean, but you've just brought me joy From the story

Yeah, my dad thought it was hilarious and My mom was like we've got a tell her you know you got to tell her that jerry's not locked up whoever the fuck jerry is hey what if he was though jerry's like i don't know nobody showed up it's been i don't know why i'm looking at my wrist because they took my watch for two weeks did she take it did she take it well, though? Was she laughing about it? She was like, well, that's not funny at all. And even my mom, me and my dad were rolling. But even my mom was like, well, it was a little funny.

There's no denying that's funny. She's like, you didn't notice that his voice wasn't whoever you had called? You didn't notice that his voice wasn't whoever you had called, you know? And he was... Does Jerry seem like the kind of guy who's mixed up in drugs and violence? You know, maybe not. He's a pharmacist. Oh my God, I had no idea. Oh yeah, he's on the pills.

I like fucking with telemarkers especially. You don't really get them like you used to. Now it's like some fucking spam shit. It's's all automated where it's some guy who's like hello we noticed you are interested in donating to the police fund like some shit like that it's like no i'm not asshole like so i found out i found out. Because there's an influx of these calls. I don't know if y'all was getting them too. I get a ton. So the reason why is, I know there's a reason, but the way to minimize them is to not answer it.

Because if the machine thinks that that number is not active, but if you keep answering it, then they'll keep sending a few. Yeah, my shit says suspected spam. I need that. Is that an app?'s that's android i don't know i'm about to say your iphone has it too it'll say suspected spam it'll say telemarketer um but it's not 100 accurate so and sometimes you just have to play the old like i don't know it could be my doctor it could be spam you answer it and you're like damn it on a call or something like sometimes waiting on know it could be my doctor it could be spam you answer it and you're like damn it like sometimes waiting on a call and it'd be like hilton rewards program i'm like fuck out of here yeah it's it's hard not to answer every call because you don't know which ones are you looking

for yeah i i get spam mail like i get mail from like the last person that used to live at this address and and like sometimes it would be official shit. And a few days ago, I got this legit-looking envelope. It was stamped first class. And I don't know. It had some credentials on it. I don't know. But it was like, lease termination.

And I was like, the fuck? What lease has been terminated? What have I done? And I'm ripping it open. And it's like jessica martin what the god damn it threw my fucking floorboard and fucking scared the shit out of me like i don't even i thought i'd fucked up but i thought i'd like not paid a bill or like i like it when i get my name or my identity been stolen or something you like it i do i you know i hop

in the golf cart i run over there i don't see my neighbors all the time it's a chance to like hey i have this for you that's crazy yeah and and uh you know it's just like i get to see them i'm doing something nice for them bringing them their mail and tell them hey remember the time i threatened to murder your dog well here's your they moved actually they moved yeah i i wonder if I was part of it. Nah, it was their fucking fault. Their dog was a piece of shit. It was barking at Woody and his child.

It was a vicious German Shepherd on Woody's property, and it almost got the treatment. It did, yeah. My first idea was gun. Kyle had the bear spray idea, and we put that in the golf cart. But yeah, but we would go to get our, you have to understand,

I have a pretty big lot that I live on. So I'd take the golf cart down, and like you have to bring the trash cans back up, or that was it. Sometimes they'd come all the way up to my house. And it's just like, man, if I can't leave my kitchen, like what am I supposed to do? But bear spray was a good idea.

Yeah, I mean, I'm okay with killing the guy's dog, but you gotta be sure you kill it dead. You can't let it limp home. That causes all kinds of issues. That's just cruelty. Well, no, I don't care about the cruelty, but he's gonna be pissed if his dog comes home fucking shot. He should just never see the dog. Exactly. He'd disappear

the dog. Yeah, but no, they were actually gonna move before we moved in. They'd put their house on market, and it was like a touch-and-go thing for a long time. Yeah. Hey, yo, here's a question for y y'all or two of y'all cuz one just left so if you was moving into a house and you found out that somebody was murdered in that house would that affect your purchasing nah I might try to use it in the negotiation but but but in re it's it's the same thing that um we had a guest who is this uh van van wiki guy who deals in cars and he suggested like you know whatever

color the car is be like oh i hate this color it's you know try to haggle them down a little bit so the same thing if that had happened in the house oh i'm very i'm very paranoid you know i don't like this that bothers me that that that's weird me out it's i just don't like this. That bothers me. That's weirding me out. I just don't know about this. But in reality, show me right where the chalk line is. I'll put the bet over that. That wouldn't bother me a bit.

I got a ton of money off my house by saying I felt ghosts. And that you don't want to try and sell this to someone who's afraid of ghosts. I'm not afraid of ghosts. And so take advantage of this. Got $20,000 off. We had a, I forget if our sale fell through or if maybe they just tried to use it. But when I was selling my apex house,

they said that because a former YouTuber lived there, they didn't want any part of it. I think they had had Googled and such and found stories of the SWAT team coming and random mail coming and stuff like that. I didn't realize that it would make my house less desirable. I'd never thought about that.

I said it because the house I'm living in now, we bought it and there was a murder-suicide in it. Really? Nice. How many? Just two people? Or was there more? there was a murder suicide in it really nice yeah how many just two people or was there like more so it was it was the a lady lived here and i guess the dude came over and shot her and then killed himself oh jesus christ yeah that's wild but yeah like when they talk because they didn't tell us that to the very end right in the house you're currently in yeah yeah councilman currently in this room

max and i was joking but uh right here i'm just joking it's under the he was recording his own hi this is how not to get murdered with nick yeah no it didn't but it didn't bother me at all like i would it like people die every day i don't believe in ghosts i don't believe in ghosts and all that if yeah there is what if there were ghosts then there are some places on this planet and in this very country or in this very state that would be fucking swarming with fucking ghosts all the fucking time and at least a few of them wouldn't have the etiquette to only come out when one guy's around right like go like a civil war battlefield or like or like fucking hiroshima or

nagasaki or any of those fucking um german cities that we fire bombs those places dresden those yeah sure any of those places where like 200 000 people died right here in this fucking city well you like people die all the time. I think the idea is that ghosts are caused by traumatic deaths, right? You don't get to be a ghost if you have a heart attack. I didn't even know that. You only get to be a ghost

if you have to correct something, right? Is this commonly accepted ghost lore? Absolutely. I'm making it up as I go along. The ghost is like an imprint caused by the extreme emotional energy Left behind by their death so but even that is kind of fucked up too Cuz I mean you're a ghost and like you lived a traumatic event and now you're stuck in the same fucking place that yeah I can at least let me travel the world as it goes like I get this

Like there's two people in this fucking house. They just stay in his house like go somewhere else and play brothers like there's two people in this fucking house they just stay in this house like go somewhere else and play bro this is yeah i agree like that would but honestly like what if you were a shitty person and then you got murdered and you're a ghost and now you have to avenge your death but you know as soon as you avenge your death you're gonna pass on and go to hell oh you got so you would never avenge your your death You would just be like that fucking Salem house or whatever it is. A little spiritual purgatory. Yeah. My girlfriend is afraid of ghosts and demons and shit.

And I've told Woody and Kyle this before, but we were watching... I love watching horror movies. And so we were watching The Conjuring. Yeah, I think we were watching The Conjuring or the yeah i think we were watching the conjuring and that's like a have you seen that arian i don't watch good horror movie okay it's a horror movie and it's about like ghosts and demons and stuff and i don't believe in that stuff so i'm not really afraid of uh i'm more afraid of like serial killers like someone who will kidnap you and torture you or something or eat my dirty homeless ass that kind of thing

i'm here my shirt homeless ass watching the conjuring yeah i'm sorry i gotta do it but we were watching conjuring and she was terrified like you could see the bathroom from where we were sitting and she's like i gotta go pee as i'm paused it. I'm like, alright, go pee. She's like, will you walk me to the bathroom? I can see it right there. But I still got up and walked her to the bathroom. And she went and came back. And she's like, this is just so scary.

I'm like, babe, none of this is real. Demons are make-believe. It's fine. She's like, no, they're not. They are real. They're real. And I was like, no, they're not. Watch this. Satan! Come into my heart. I am an open vessel. Use me as you will.

And said shit like that. And she was like slapping me in my shoulder like, stop it! Stop inviting Satan into your heart. And I'm like, oh, lord of darkness. Come inside. Seize my body. Make me your will. And I was doing shit like that, and she

was not enthused. It freaked me, it scared the shit out of me. That's when you needed like half an Alka-Seltzer to pop in your mouth, and then just like fucking seize up, hit the floor, go into a seizure, and start foaming at the mouth, and then just pop up, and just look around

like all creepy, and walk out of the house. Ask her what happened. Or just be like, say I was joking, and like five minutes later, creepy and walk out of the house or what happened or just be like say i was joking and like five minutes later just the middle of the movie be like that kind of shit yeah that made me laugh so fucking hard where's the knife drawer? What? Do you want to know how Satan got into my heart? I invited him, and I'm the Joker now, apparently.

I honestly thought you were doing the Joker first. I've got a limited number of voices, and there's a lot of overlap. Limited to 100, it's a lot. It's like, I want to say Skyrim's like that with their like voice actors there's only like eight guys doing the voices of every single fucking NPC yeah that's funny alright well

Arian thank you so much for coming on shout yourself out where can everybody find every bit of Arian Foster online if you're that into it then you can find me on I'm on Twitter I'm on Instagram Twitter at Arian Foster Instagram is at Bobby Fino I had a music project coming out guys check it out nice it's a EP it's pretty dope put it out with Mass Appeal I don't know what it is oh cool obviously that is if

a yeah Woody if someone's trying to get into your podcast what really awesome episode would you recommend they check out I just had a really dope one and obviously has star power but more so this the content I had a Conversation with Neil deGrasse Tyson. Hmm. And so that was a really dope conversation. He's a he's a really informative cat He's like a little walking on my neck. So it was I'm gonna listen to that one. It was dope man. Oh Yeah, that's it. I'm not on Facebook I'm gonna get off social social media I hate that shit

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for Turo and use promo code PAINKILLER at checkout. Terms apply. Hope you guys enjoyed the show. There it is, PKA 439.