Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #440

Episode Date: May 31, 2019

On this week's PKA, this week we've got an old school Call of Duty commentary legend with us, Tejbz himself and they all go back and forth discussing the very last episode of Game of Thrones, then Taylor celebrates the Blues making it into the Stanley Cup finals and he shares with the guys some interesting and disturbing factoids about one of America's Founding Fathers... it sounds terrible.

PKA episode 440, kicking it old school with tapes. Kyle? A plethora of sponsors tonight. We have Blowfish, Dave.com, Netgear, Goat, Lending Club, Audible, and Smart Mouth. We'll get to all of those lovely, delicious sponsors later on in the show. But yeah, we got Tabe with us. Kicking it old school for sure. How's it going, buddy?

It's going really good. How are you guys? Yeah, not too bad. Pretty good. Well, no, pretty much the same as nine years ago when we last spoke. Nothing's changed. So are you still on the YouTube grind? Did you make the ever-popular Twitch switch?

What are you up to? Yeah, I did do the switch kind of but it brings me to one of my best tweets that I ever tweeted was that I said you either live long enough no you either

wait hold on you either die you either fuck you know the one anyway that's a Fuck, you know the one... Anyway. That's a good quote. That's a classic saying. A little bit more than that, you know? Now, you either die,

soon enough to become the villain, but, well, you only die once. Don't fool me again. That once can't kill you again. I'm so glad you fucked up that quote. It's kind of funnier that way so what are you doing long enough to see yourself become a twitch streamer basically except that's the one that's what i was trying to say yeah um no i've been i've been doing

uh the youtube uh the youtube stuff i've been doing the twitch streams and i've been doing the Twitch streams and I'm been there's been some try my like hosting TV shows and stuff to here in Sweden. And now I try. I mean, I still keep my YouTube going. My English channel, though, I did start a Swedish channel. That is it's it's a little less saturated in in the Swedish market. So it's there's so many good people making youtube gaming videos that i just figured oh i'm just gonna do in a swedish and try it and see my luck there so anytime i see a swedish like comment section or really any of you fucks up there

where where it gets real cold i'm like this is a troll this is a bunch of people slamming the keyboard trying to convince me that a word can have four consecutive A's in it. You know, and five umlauts. Yeah, we have all the words, all the letters with the dots over them. Where are you at in Sweden? I live in Stockholm. I moved here almost seven years ago. The only city I've ever heard of there.

Okay. Yes. No, I've heard of Malmo. Or maybe that's Finland. You're just showing off at this point. Is Malmo in Sweden? Malmo is in the very south. That's a kind of dog, Taylor.

The Malinois? There's Malmo. There's Sweetie Town. There's Fishville. Sweetieville. Fishville is probably, you're thinking about Gothenburg, maybe? He's not thinking at all. You're giving him way too much credit.

There's no way any thought was put into those town names. I'm just trying to be nice. You don't have to be nice. You can call me retarded. So, yeah, you're still working entertainment. You're doing YouTube videos. You put more emphasis on your Swedish channel right now. Is that accurate?

Yeah, and also, I mean, I'm still streaming. But right now, I just don't know what game to play. I feel like I'm not having super much fun with any game. That's what I was going to ask, was what games you were into. Mordow, like me personally, we're playing a bit of Mordow, we're playing Rust, and we're playing a little PUBG still. But I don't know what else uh what was is hot right now i i i mean

apex uh apex legend legends when it came out i love i still love it but the problem is that after maybe 200 hours into it i feel like there's nothing really left to do if you already played you know h1c1 pub, PUBG, Fortnite and everything. There's, you don't get, I don't get very happy when I win. Yeah. Why can't they drop maps more often?

It seems like if they dropped a map every six weeks. But I feel like it's, it's because of Respawn probably, because they're doing the Star Wars game too. And I feel like they have to put all the people on making an actually good star wars game because ea are like breathing down their necks because if that game doesn't sell i feel like they're in trouble uh ea probably respawn is probably gonna be fine but i don't know yeah um i i i know exactly what you mean with uh with apex though we did so well when that game came out

it seemed like a lot of the players that were on there didn't have a lot of br experience and meanwhile we had like thousands of hours of pub g and the cold duty br and stuff like that like like you know kind of extreme br shooters and we just jumped into that and it was easy easy easy just win it like we'd win four in a row five five in a row. And it was like, well, let's use shitty guns this time. Win again. And it really wasn't fun after a while. It's like there was so many free to play players. They were just like logging on.

Oh, this is fun. And you can just get so many nice kill games and everything. And if you go jump into Fortnitenite now i feel like everyone is insane they're like building and they can do everything and i'll be like i just want to shoot people i don't fuck with those people i know better than to jump into fortnite like i don't like the art style of fortnite like like but even if i even if i could get over that it's not that like i'm good at it like like i i know i'm i know i'm shit at fortnight like i was immediately i don't have very much fortnight time at all like like we played that and then

immediately went like right back to pub g after a game or two whenever that came out yeah yeah i i enjoyed it when uh when it came out when like the hype the fortnight hype obviously i jumped on it and was playing um but there's something about it that i feel like I don't want to be the best at it. That's like some games I just want to be really, really good. And in Fortnite, I just don't care. You did really well, like gameplay-wise, back in the console era. Has that translated to PC, too? Are you still wrecking house?

Yeah, I would say so. I can be honest. I played PC when I was 13, 14. too are you still wrecking house uh yeah i would say to be honest yeah i played i played pc um when i was 13 14 but then i couldn't afford a computer so that's why i had the the xbox uh back in the day so dude yeah yeah you played well i don't know if people know the extent of your fame you're one of the first youtubers ever to kind of transcend the platform. Do you have an MTV song going on at one point? I remember that. It was some sort of big video.

Yeah. You're dancing around with a bunch of sexy Swede ladies. That was a good one. Getting drunk. I don't remember what it was called, but that was huge at the time. I remember at the time in 2011 or whatever the fuck that was, going to that video and being like, God damn it, this son of a bitch has 10 million views on this

and my whole channel has two million like it was true it was not exaggerating at all woody tape was enormous yeah time yeah like like you know every generation of youtubers leapfrogs the previous one in terms of like what big means but you know did, like, he was on real TV, like MTV or something. And his song had... Wait, has it been on MTV? Really? Well, they said that. Let's just say it.

If that line makes you feel better, then yes. Yeah. But it was... And the song had, like, millions or tens of millions of views or something. Like, it was giant. It came out nine years ago. And it was... I think it was my first video that had over a million views and they were telling me that you were like a legit like

couldn't walk through sweden kind of celebrity does that sound right were you getting recognized when you went to buy milk i mean yeah i did but it wasn't like it was a problem. Yeah. And it's also, it was 15, 16 year old guys. So if you, if you're looking, if you want, tell me more, like what would they be wearing typically?

What their mom. I'm just fucking around. Yeah. That's a great answer. But yeah, man, like it was super huge. How old were you when that happened?

I started when I was 21. And I think To The Face, which is the song title, I think that came out at the end of 2010. And I mean, I have so many fond memories of that. It was just crazy. It was super fun. And it's still, I mean, yesterday I was out with some, I'm taking this writing class right now.

And we went out, cause it was the final like day that we had it. And we went out all to get beers afterwards. And my friend is like, oh, this is what my friend does. And he showed the music video and it's like, it's nine years old and everyone goes like, wow. And it's super, it's obviously very awkward to watch it, but it's also like, yeah, that's cool. Is that when you like excuse yourself to go to the bathroom or like get another beer? I went out to vape and I was like, oh, are you guys done? I went out to vape, and I was like, are you guys done?

That happens to me a lot, but it's always the dog barking collar video. Oh, yeah, I bet. The worst part about that is I look young in that video. If people go see it, like, dude, that's a good version of me right there. I want him back. You do look very young in that. It's crazy to look back at that. Like, At least you guys are lucky with that kind of video. My friends, when they're like,

Hey, you should see what Taylor does online. Here's a time-stamped clip of him pretending to be Kevin Spacey talking about wanting to molest children for 40 minutes. And I'm like, ugh, no, don't play that. We're at Steak and Shake, guys. There's not that many people here. You kind of look a little bit like Kevin Spacey now that I think about it. I think if you parted your hair and put on a suit,

I could really buy into that more. Just like a double-wide-headed Kevin Spacey. He's got kind of a large head as well, though. He's got that. I guess he's got a nonk. Yeah. Yeah. A nonk. There could be some potential. I don't know. Donk is a big ass, and a noggin is a head, and so a nonk. Yeah. A nonk?

I don't know. Donk is a big ass and a noggin is a head, so a nonk. A big ass nonk. Some girls are really into that. Big ass? No, they're not. Girl, look at the knock on him. I want to see that on our Tinder profile.

I like guys with big hats. I bet he has to special order his hats. You see the underside of his helmet or his hat? It says nine and a half. Nine and a half. Anyway, this has nothing to do with anything. I wish I had a cool-ass music video for people to pull up and see, but I don't. You should make one.

Just do it. Yeah. Yes. You just hire a production crew, $34,000 a day. Taylor, it will get tens of views, if not dozens. Yeah. You post it on the subreddit and get nine upvotes, people being like, this is dumb.

Hashtag cringe is what it would be. folks people being like this is dumb hashtag cringe so it's good to see you're doing well and all the swedish fame hasn't uh hasn't gone to your head what about the writing class is it like entertainment writing just for your own you know desire to get better at writing what's kind of your goal with it uh it's it's mostly mostly just to get better at it for myself but it will be cool i mean now it feels like everyone has done this at least there's a lot of there's a lot of youtubers in sweden uh now and there's a lot of people who've done like the the autobiography the books and everything they've written about their lives and and every single book they it starts with like oh i was just living out in the forest and now i I've become this YouTube guy in Stockholm.

And it's the same thing all the time. But it would be cool to do something like that and kind of talk about YouTube and life and also maybe write stuff about Crohn's disease that I've had since I was 14 too. And it's been a lot of things about that but for this class that i'm taking it's just writing for fantasy and horror and um and science fiction and i feel like i've gotten a lot better it's only been 10 like times that we've seen each other on on this

class but it's been really fun um i have but we're writing all the stuff in Swedish, so I haven't shared anything. And also I feel very, it will be like a big thing. It's not so bad showing a YouTube video to thousands of people that like you. But if I write something, I feel really embarrassed when I show it to someone. Why do you think that is? I don't know, maybe it's just more,

maybe it's a little bit more intimate. And also I've uploaded, I've already uploaded a bunch of videos. So I tried that and I know how kind of the reception and I know what people kind of like, but here it could be, you know, it could be really different.

So I don't know. It's something that will be really cool to do. To share like with the followers. Like, oh, I wrote a story about the World Cup of Rock Paper Scissor. And it was like a big thing in the story. And I think that one is actually

really funny. I actually really like that premise. Yeah. It was very intense. And I don't know. I don't want to spoil it. I can't. It's written in Swedish. We'll never figure it out. It would be neat if you did a dramatic reading of it.

Yeah. Maybe a different channel. That's what I'm going to get into. I'm going to get into slam poetry. Maybe a creepypasta or something. I can sit there and read my own text on a new channel and no one will know that it's me because i'll like i'll have my voice changed or something that'll be that would be

a hilarious bit one of you out there print out a creepypasta dress up in all black and then go read it at a slam poetry event and and record it that would be do you guys know what creepypasta is woody and kyle yeah i i know what copypasta is and Woody and Kyle? Yeah. I know what copypasta is. What am I missing? It's like really old, basically copypasta creepy stories that always have more and more added and changed to it to where basically the scary story Slenderman-style version of the, I'll have you know I'm a U.S. Marine and I have 300 confirmed kills and you better be careful buck up like that

kind of so but they take that and make it a horror movie i'm confused yeah not a horror movie a horror story well yeah it'll be like a skin walker or a slender man it's it's also it's it's like uh hyper realism to like in scary stories it could be and um if you go there's there's a really good subreddit for it and people they write it that it's very accessible you there's like a story that you can read in in three to ten minutes and or it can be continuations and it's like urban legends uh or it can be something completely new um i've one i read some of the stuff on on that reddit that is i i still remember and i i wouldn't recommend doing it just before bedtime it's crazy oh it knows is no sleep that one yeah no sleep yeah yeah i don't like that i like to rate

it like when i finish everything out like when i'm doing for the night and it's like time for bed oftentimes i'll read a story off of no sleep right before I go to bed because I like the spooky stuff I don't know I don't have nightmares I just have nonsensical dreams I'll read something off no sleep and then I'll go to bed and my feet will be hanging out from beneath the blanket like at the

end of the bed and I'll be like no I'll just like pull it back in like a child as if something's gonna come up and be like damn it he covered him up again not drag me down like like there's some creepy shit on there it's it's it's fucking creepy and the way it's written it's it's more the tone than anything the serious tone that it's written in where you're like this is fictional right this is just a... He probably also is into hentai and a bunch of weird shit like every other Redditor.

Let me check his profile. Oh, nope. Nope. Just this one creepy story eight years ago. That's all that it is. If I never post again, remember me. That's all that it was. Yeah.

It's fucking scary ass shit. I don't like that. They're that right i love those scary stories like some of them are written like you'll get like a third of the way through and you'll just be like this writing is so bad it's taking me out of it and you have to quit but every so often you come across one where it's someone where it's like holy fuck this could be fleshed out into a book or a movie or something yeah or like a like or more more like like a like a black mirror episode or something like that like sort of like short i like uh or like a tw Mirror episode or something like that. Exactly. Like short. I like a Twilight Zone type thing. Hey, has anybody else watched the new...

I say anybody else as if I have, because I haven't. Has anyone watched the new Twilight Zone? I watched the free one. I have not. New Twilight Zone? Yeah. I don't know which one's Jordan and which one's Peele. Because like Kyle says, they look the same.

But whichever one was offered for free, I saw that. Yeah, yeah. It's one of the Key and Peel guys. Unfortunately, I can't tell them apart. Because they're black. Just because they never like... They don't wear name tags. That's the issue, yeah.

Yeah. Wait, these are comedy guys. Not anymore. But Peel made the... he made the get out uh movie oh i guess that's a scary movie i never saw it but it's a scary movie it did incredibly well yeah yeah he's i mean he's he's kind of written his own way now he's gonna i think he's got another horror movie right that's also done well i think since yeah it's like us i think it's called us yeah all my friends don't

like him because they say he's a racist now because you know he had that that statement where he was like i'm not gonna cast any white actors i've seen that movie and it's like well wait a minute it does seem like you can't say that right like that's not nice i'm doing a medieval history story about ancient england it's all black people. That would be a hilarious story. I'm behind that. Make it. How did we get here? The new Twilight Zone. And then fucking Mel Gibson can direct

a Zulu warrior story and it's a bunch of Anglos. It doesn't make any goddamn sense. Everybody's sunburned to shit. The premise is that the guy's a comedian and he's a very bad one. And then he meets someone and he gives them this power where if he shares something personal from his life, it slays. But that guy is just removed like he was never born.

And he has this balance between who he wants to give up, who he's willing to sort of get rid of. He tries to blast Trump a little bit, but that doesn't work because it's not him sharing himself. Nice try, loser. Yeah. This fucking retard thought he could do that and get rid of me.

Not a chance. That's a good one to ask. There's real decisions to make. He's just pretty easy to do yeah yeah easily sorry what he stepped on you there what were you but cbs has that horse shit see they're fucking up i think locking they're doing their own streaming thing disney is about to own everything so like I can just pay Disney and get all the things I want to see, I'll do that. I'm not going to have eight streaming services.

I've got Hulu, Netflix, HBO, and I think that might be it. Disney, ESPN. I'm just throwing ones out there you might be interested in. That's all I got. I think Disney is about to own all that shit, though Disney currently owns ESPN am i wrong yeah

already on ESPN and Hulu they own everything but they still charge you three times for it yeah I think that's about to get fixed those sons of bitches we'll have three intellectual properties in charge of all of them they're currently in the in the fall right with um like a joint one or whatever it is yeah yeah i think it's coming soon they're currently filming a new star trek series that has uh patrick stewart reprising his role as really yeah and uh i i'm really excited about that because i like patrick stewart i love the next generation and you know they're redoing this thing and it's going to be about captain picard in his elder years obviously because fucking patrick stewart's in his 80s or something like that uh but again it's going to be

behind that cbs streaming firewall aka i'm gonna steal it like like i'm not paying for that shit i'm not paying for that just to watch a single show. But if it was on Netflix, it wouldn't be a problem. Yeah. I'm excited about it. Yeah. I don't know if I'm excited about that. I also like Star Trek. I've seen all of them.

I also like sci-fi. But man, something about the Patrick Stewart Star Trek didn't age well to me. It's a little lame. All the storylines are brady bunch level of your complexity and depth and uh and i'm just and it's the office version of space travel not not the office the tv show but like the the cube like boring cubicle life version of what space travel can be i need some swashbuckling problems that are solved by extreme sports buckling they were like with swords and shit in some episodes

there were some very influential episodes and some that spoke very strongly about about some really important social issues the drumhead episode was really good where uh they have the big um uh the sort of a court case on the Enterprise, and the prosecutor is investigating everybody, and Picard just owns her, and he has this big speech about personal privacy and stuff like that. There are a lot of episodes like that that I really loved, and all the shit with the Borg was fucking badass.

The characters were not complex, right? Nowadays, what I expect from a TV show is you can... It's hard to put a finger on whether a guy is a good guy or a bad guy. Is this a hero or an anti-hero? Where is this guy's arc going? The arc of Wesley Crusher. All right, you can't name the worst character in the show. Okay, Deanna Troi.

Beverly Crusher. She's the second worst. Beverly Crusher. Who are the strong... Crusher. She's the second worst. Beverly Crusher. Like, who are the straws? Crusher was okay. Crusher came on board and she replaced Dr. Pulaski or whatever,

that older blonde chick, and it was like, ah, now we got a sexy doctor that's got a love interest with Picard. I was into that. Now, Deanna Troi was garbage. She was there for titties, and Wesley Crusher was there to be annoying, apparently. Like, I'm sure we've all seen. Young me liked Wesley Crusher. I don't

know how he'd do in review. I think he probably looked a lot alike. I've never seen an episode of Star Trek, but is Wesley Crusher the one where the meme is like Shut up, Wesley. Dr. X or whatever being like Shut up, Wesley. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, Wesley was like the son of the doctor on the show he's

literally a child and they're like he's like i want to be in starfleet and they're like well let's give you a shot young man and they just put him on the fucking bridge well he was also a savant like like he was the second best engineer on the ship behind the chief of engineering he was a smart very intelligent kid that's will wheaton right yeah it is will wheaton yeah i don't remember what i said to him but he blocked me on twitter i don't remember what happened i just remember i checked in one day like a couple years ago and i was like well i don't recall saying anything to him but yeah taylor likes to go on twitter and troll people uh and be like fake alt right or like and like like like troll and will wheaton is very far left it probably alt-left and so i'm sure he picked up on one of your tweets just take whatever position they have

and go even further with it and call them out for not going far enough like you have to out justice it like in whatever direction they're in and then usually that uh you think we should imprison all white males nay nay they should be exterminated oh so you're saying that imprisonment is an okay punishment for i don't know uh the uh genocide genocide of the fucking native american people and uh the treatment of blacks you think that imprisonment is okay is that really you think that's the only justice that's needed or coming here really well i can see where you're coming from mr white man and my my my avatar is a rule 34 picture of hank hill in the shower and so i don't know how they don't know that i'm

fucking around so uh oh man twitter's a funny place i i refuse i refuse to take part in your shenanigans on there but i get linked to your tweets and they're funny. Thank you. I like my Twitter. It's a write-only platform. I just pop something on there like once a month and then leave. I love that. Woody, you never engage with anyone. You just thought, shoot out there.

All right, see you in January. Kyle, were you asking a question? No, no. In closing, I guess. It's kind of lame with the CBS streaming platform because I'm not going to pay for it. I do want to see the new Picard Star Trek when it comes out. It's filming now. I think it's going to make pirating go on the rise again.

Netflix came out and it's like, oh, here's a reason they play service that we all love. Let's stop pirating. And then HBO comes out and it's like, oh, well, here's a reasonably priced service that we all love. Let's stop pirating. And then HBO comes out and it's like, all right, all right, maybe two. And now that you need Hulu and then you need Disney apparently and the ESPN Plus and I'm missing one, CBS. And it's like, man, I don't know. It's bad like cable.

I was a cord cutter partly because of the story I've told a million times where my daughter did a Hannah Montana thing and I was like, we're not having this. But also my cable build went from like 40 to 120 or something like that in five years. I'm like, this is an outrageous increase. Yeah. What is Hulu, by the way?

Hulu is like Netflix. It's just like Netflix. They have movies. They have TV shows. It's just more TV-focused than movie-focused. How much is it? I don't know what I paid. It's $11.99 a month to get the commercial-free version,

which is what I do. I don't know what it is now for the baked-in commercial thing. It has a lot of good programs. For me it it's got for me it's um um it's always sunny in philadelphia and uh and one punch man is on there i like one punch man and it does have movies seinfeld yeah that's the king of the hill friends maybe as well um friends was a one and done show for me like i watched through it because it was only because i was so invested friends that i kept going. It's just not good.

Friends is a bad show. I don't know. It was huge in the 90s or whenever that show was on. I watched it as it was coming out a little bit on and off, but I always thought it was a real second fiddle to Seinfeld. It was just a bad show. Those girls are fucking whores.

I knew you were going to go there. I always do. Anytime Friends comes up, I don't remember them as wh girls are fucking whores yeah i always do anytime friends come i don't remember them as whores i like huge whores huge whores really yes in the show or in the show yeah they would fuck a different guy every single episode at least one guy every episode they would fuck phoebe was the least whorish of them all um ross was a whore he just couldn't get laid uh but but and chandler by the was the same but like monica and uh rachel who were you know they were they're huge whores huge i almost want to re-watch it through that lens because i bet i let's google how many guys did rachel fuck yeah because i remember them having like four boyfriends over 10 years. You know, there was the Tom Selleck guy.

Probably some more. I'm glad Tom Selleck got his dick wet with her. You know, good for him. Didn't he? He did, right? Maybe it wasn't explicitly said. Or maybe it was. I don't know.

I guess maybe I was wrong. Apparently here, only 14. Only 14. Wow. 14 guys in 10 years. Or in over 10 seasons or something. That's not bad. Is the show supposed to go over the real time, like 10 years?

236 episodes. She slept with Ross 300 times, according to this. Oh, they kept count. Oh, yeah, because Ross kept count. I remember that. Ross kept count, yeah. She's like, you kept count? He's like, you didn't? Yeah. She kept count. She's like, you kept count? He's like, you didn't? As soon as his

monkey pet storyline ended, I was done with that dude forever, and I was like, you're boring. All the actors hated the monkey, but all the fans loved it, and I'm with the fans. The monkey was good! Yeah. When I did that thing in LA with, what's his name?

There was a monkey on set and it was in the movie if that movie ever comes out I hope not oh god you'll get to see Vitaly Z kissing me the monkey was it was cool for

five minutes this Makuchin monkey or whatever they're fucking called we're all out by like the craft services or whatever they're fucking called. Kapuchan. Kapuchan, yeah. We're all out by the craft services or whatever. And it's like this little monkey's up there. And the guy grabs a little piece of cantaloupe. And I'm like, here you go. And the monkey grabs it with his hand.

And I don't know why. But seeing another animal grab something with a real hand and eat it like a human being would. It was just like he handed it to a child. And the child grabbed it with his hand and started eating it. How big is this monkey? It's the size of a head. It's a shoulder monkey. I'm going to say 18 inches tall.

Did you touch it? Couching monkeys are what they used back in the organ grinder monkey days. It's one of those ones with the little fez hat. It's the one for friends, essentially. I didn't realize the hat was genetic, but now I know yeah did you touch the monkey it's their culture yeah yeah yeah was it strong like wood like i hear about chimpanzees like did you get a vibe for that like a cat okay like like it definitely felt like it was athletic and like it could totally like leap at you and

but but you know it's one of those animals it's like, I got you now, you piece of shit. I could have killed the shit out of that monkey. How much do you think it weighed? Eight pounds? I didn't pick it up, but yeah. I would guess. Eight or ten pounds. Did it smell bad? I don't remember it smelling at all.

This is like a TV monkey, a movie monkey, so I'm sure he gets baths and shit. It smelled like head and shoulders. Yeah, but a TV monkey, a movie monkey, so I'm sure he gets baths and shit. Smelled like head and shoulders. Yeah, yeah. I think it was a famous monkey of some kind. He had a name. I don't know. I might have kept my nose away from it, too. I get that it's a 10-pound animal, but think about monkeys

and ripping your faces off. I was at craft services to get myself a hot dog. I didn't really want to pet this giant rat man that he had on his shoulder. Everybody's getting pictures with it and shit, which I didn't really care to do. giant rat man that he had on his shoulder. Everybody's getting pictures with it and shit, which I didn't really care to do. I would have got a picture with it. I wanted no part of that.

I'm not the most social creature. I just wanted to get my hot dog, go back to my little room up there and continue playing. Well, it's not going to talk to you. I know it's not going to talk to me, Taylor. It there's other people. I know it's not going to talk to me, Taylor. It's a monkey. You just mean you don't want to be around the gaggle of people fawning over the monkey.

Yeah, I didn't want to be part of that. Oh, it's a monkey. Yeah, we all know it's a fucking monkey. We get it. It's cool for three minutes. You could have dropped some fake stats around him where it's like, is that a capuchin? That's actually where they got the first strain of AIDS. of these animals carry it so be careful you know just don't let him scratch you and before you know it everybody's faded away now the monkey's by itself no socialization needed

but grab it i could do whatever i want with that monkey yeah i did have an urge to throw it at a brick wall just just just i don't know why i was just like i could just just i could chunk this little monkey i could throw it so hard yeah yeah do you ever like think that like i'll think the same thing like i'm in a dog park and i see a chihuahua yep and it's like or any kind of dog that's like that like toy kind of dog it's like man how far would that go if i ran over and kicked it? Or you just grabbed the leash from the lady and started to do a hammer throw type thing. Where you lean back into it and spin three times and then... You wouldn't even need to throw it.

You could guaranteed spin one of those things russian cosmonaut style fast enough that it would like break its neck not that i would want to do that more than once just to see what it felt like and of course there'd be a second dog i had to find out if it was a fourth there was a third bird and a fourth if you must know you guys ever uh tabed you ever just think about like man i could i could kick that dog so far or man, I could mush the shit out of that bird if it weren't so quick. Not that you'd ever want to do it.

I mean, obvious, sure. Yeah, the thought has crossed my mind, but it's, I don't know. Dogs seem too kind. It will have to be probably like a bird that I don't like. Or a cat. Like a pigeon maybe.

No, not a cat. I love cats. Yeah, cats are the best. They're the worst. Dogs outrank cats. I'm just going to leave now. You're welcome to go. We'll die on the cats. We're going to the mats on the cat thing.

That's why I lead the charge on hashtag killacat today. Getting quite a following. But it's kind of like the thought when you are, I don't know, when you're standing at a crossroad and cars are flying by and you're like, I could just take a step out and get hit by a car exactly yeah i'm not gonna do it but i could that's a weird sort of thought and impulse that we have as human beings i think everybody gets that yeah yeah like i've had that like looking over a cliff like like you know looking over a cliff that that is certain maybe not instant death but certainly like doom and despair if i go off this cliff it's not it's not looney tunes i'm not gonna fall for five minutes and go poof but i'm gonna be a and a fucking mess if i go up this hill i'm gonna fall

30 feet and then roll and roll and roll probably gonna get destroyed. But you're like, I could just do it. I could just jump. I could just jump. Or the thing in traffic. Or like what I'm driving. Telephone poles. You're driving. You're going, I don't know, 60 miles an hour.

And the pole's right there all the time. Endless choices. And it's not like the opportunity passes because there's another and another and another. And you have to decide not to hit a telephone pole. Or turn into the, like a semi-truck is passing you. Do you ever get this feeling like you just sort of shiver if you pass a semi-truck

very closely? You just get, he's like, shut up. That's your soul. Going, not yet. Not today. Not today. I'll think about that too. i think it was a bill burr stand-up bit where he's talking about how he could just be a normal ass dude driving down the road in a in like a farmer's market but if he just goes you know 30 degrees to the right suddenly

he's on every news station across the country for three days because he ran over 35 people didn't even attempt to stop like one of those france bus attacks like it is crazy i think it's like some sort of self actualization with our own mortality like thinking like wow everything i am and everything that's been built up here over my life could be gone if i step off this cliff or if i lay on this track or just jump in front of this bus. Or just send out a tweet. Yeah. That was on Ambien.

Yeah, on Ambien. Yeah, the racist drug. Ambien does fuck you up. When I heard that, I felt like they were too hard on Roseanne. First of all, her joke wasn't that racist. I don't remember what she said. Something about the lady who was... I can Google it.

While she was African American, she wasn't that dark of skin. Roseanne said she thought the lady was Jewish. She said something about the lady being in Planet of the Apes or something like that. Roseanne is known to be a little bit unstable with some mental issues.

I don't know if anybody here has taken ambient and specifically taken ambient and then stayed up anyway is that the the sleeping pill right yeah yeah but it is the it is a different kind of sleeping pill like there are sleeping pills that just sort of make you drowsy but this is like some sort of like chemical knockout drug that that alters your brain chemistry and you become almost like a different person i would have been on the train of she's making an excuse i think i've had try these ambient are they they got to be called something else in swedish probably they might use even the the chemical name um could it be like still knocked maybe or so ah yes still look yeah this is pretty bad yeah i've uh i've had uh i've taken them when i've because i when i got uh a stoma

because i have my cross disease i i couldn't sleep because i was like anxiety and like thoughts were spinning and everything i remember taking like those pills and the first time i was just knocked out i was just lying in bed and i was just instantly fell asleep and i was like this is great but i remember one time i was lying in bed and i and i had taken the pill and i had the sudden urge of just playing halo so i walked up and i played halo for five hours until dawn and i had been tweeting during the night too And I had been tweeting during the night, too. Obviously, it was just like, oh, I got an overkill.

You're tweeting out, Sierra 117 here, we're going in. Everybody's like, what the fuck? What was that about? I have the quote, Kyle. I think it's Muslim brother. So she's talking about a woman named Valerie Jarrett, who was a White House advisor for Obama. And I guess she's black and the tweet was Muslim Brotherhood and Planet of the Apes

had a baby equals VJ Valerie Jarrett Muslim Brotherhood and Planet of the Apes had a baby that's not that bad that's like the meanest thing she could think of oh come on she can do better than that Planet of the Apes is like a real racist

thing and Muslim Brotherhood is not a good thing either. And she's neither of those. As far as you know. Well, as far as I know, she's neither of those. Looking at this picture, it doesn't jump out at you that she's black right away. Just based on this Page Six article. Or maybe it's one of those where they lighten people's skin in pictures. I don't know.

Oh. Yeah, in that picture... Yeah, Roseanne claims she thought the lady was Jewish. And the lady does look Jewish to me. Look at her hair. I mean, like... Classic Jewish hair. How about this? If you told me that these two ladies were sisters, I'd totally believe you.

They look a lot alike. So now I just Googled Valerie Jarrett, a Google image search to get in. And I was afraid I got this one. Okay. Yeah. I was afraid that that one was doctored or something, but yeah,

in general, it, you know, the truth is it doesn't jump out at me that she's a black person. Yeah. She went on Stern and defended, you know, herself as,

as well as she could. And, and hearing her like, like it wasn't that she swayed me. It wasn't, yeah she went on stern and defended you know herself as as well as she could and and hearing her like like it wasn't that she swayed me it wasn't so much that she wasn't a racist it was that she swayed me accidentally that she's unstable and you shouldn't judge anything she says too harshly it's like oh this is a person who's a little damaged she's a little she's um she's a right-wing person that likes fake news and if you look at her through that lens a lot of what she makes she says makes sense you're the muslim brother planet of the apes thing don't tell me you shouldn't show she was black and then you pulled planet of the apes out of nothing um yeah

i don't remember how she justified that but it it almost made sense. She also said that David Hogue, one of those Florida kids that survived the shooting, she said he did Nazi salutes and stuff like that, and it's because she buys into fake news. Yeah, but she's not one of the people who buys into it. She is kind of unhinged. Some people buy into that fake news for different reasons, right? some people are just gullible or which is a nice way of saying stupid some people um buy into that stuff because they're like well i know this probably isn't true but it fits what i want to believe is this is the things like this are true

yeah this fits in that's a good one yeah this or this supports the narrative that i want to be in rosanne's case i'm telling you if you heard this whole stern interview like you'd come away being like oh we should be trying to help rosanne she needs some some mental assistance here she needs to she needs help like she came off as a bit deranged and not in a bad like not in a cruel mean sort of way it was like oh this is a is a sick person who really shouldn't be judged too harshly about the crazy things that she may or may not say. I don't think she's coming from a place of like, I'm a right wing nut job. She's come from a place of I'm sick. I felt bad for her after the interview.

She really came off like a sick person. Well, I mean, I don't really i never watched her show i don't really fucking really here i never watched roseanne wait did they didn't they keep roseanne going so that's why this was a big story they so they they rebooted it and it did real well like like like millions and millions of viewers and then she tweeted this and they just kicked her off her own show and it continues to do quite well wait it does well without her yeah yeah well i didn't expect that it hasn't been on my radar so i figured it was i think it might be another cbs show uh you got john goodman uh it's cbs or abc i don't know the fucking networks anymore it used when i was a kid and i bet when you were a kid, it's all it was.

It was black and white, yeah. And the screen was circular. We all gathered by the radio. We all gathered by the radio with our polio shots and our unpasteurized milk. Don't let it be said we were anti-vax back then.

We got all the facts we could roseanne was was a really interesting show like in the original like uh when it originally came out because it was the only show on tv that was like an actual blue collar family you know there were a lot of shows that pretended to be blue collar families like like i'm gonna use the simpsons i realize it's animated but they're supposed to be poor right but they got two cars they got like a a three-bedroom house they've got two pets and their poverty didn't limit their storylines they're poor but if homer wants to be a jet pilot this week he's fine yeah at least lisa has a saxophone and and she gets she gets music lessons bart has a skateboard and various other hobbies they're always plugged into extracurricular activities like this is the american dream

they're not poor but roseanne it was like that in the simpsons you can't be like dad i'm gonna go to saxophone space camp he's like lisa we can't afford that you're just gonna have to study like but with roseanne roseanne they were actually fucking poor and it showed it was like we're living on john goodman's income and he's blue collar as it gets he was like a repairman or something i don't remember exactly but like he got a toolbox i remember that and and like that was his work that was that was it you know he they lived and breathed by the the skin of that toolbox and and like roseanne was a stay-at-home mom if i remember correctly maybe she worked in a salon or something it's been years but like they were poor as fuck

honestly they had enough money on that food budget well they ate a lot of kfc and shit like that not only were they poor but they were imperfect right like all the the cosby channel i'm sorry the cosby show by comparison like all those kids were great all you know a b was a bad grade that needed parental intervention right but the roseanne's kids they were too sassy you know they had behavioral issues they had bad grades they just they weren't a thriving family and it was neat to see that aspect of life yeah not a single cast member of roseanne ever drugged and raped dozens of women. Not one that we know of. Not one. John Goodman gets

all the pussy he can fucking take. He's drowning in that shit. Is he married? I don't know. He's lost a lot of weight and looks great. Probably he's divorced because that's what happens. Does he look great though? If you want abs at 40, get divorced. Apparently that does it.

He didn't lose... He's not one of those guys who went from 350 to 250. He went from 350 to 190 or something like that. He looks like a normal dude with a just I've been fat for 35 years skin. Yeah, yeah. He struggled with alcoholism for a while. He had issues with that and obviously overeating, clearly. But I think it sort of rejuvenated his acting career to some extent. Not because he's getting roles because he's skinny, but I think because maybe he's got more energy now. He's able to work more. I think he's got

an HBO show he does. And I love that. What was the show, the movie that we all liked? The J.J. Abrams project. Oh, Cloverleaf? 14 Cloverfield Lane? Or 10 Cloverfield Lane or something like that? Oh, that was good. When his hands start fucking shaking. And he looks like a powerful man, for sure.

And that's a dainty girl. Whatever her name is, Zooey Deschanel, maybe. But you're like, he could just choke the life out of her yeah next time anybody hands next to the knives on the table next time you see john goodman like some people are weird muscular he's not i i wouldn't look at him and think he's like a schwarzenegger guy but i bet if you put his forearms next to schwarzeneggers they stack up and and he just has he's got a power structure yeah yeah he's just a big man like like i bet his bone i bet if you took his bones out and lay them next to all of ours

he's got the heavier set of fucking bones by by like a fucking 10 pounds or some something like that i don't know about weighing bones or anything i don't know about weighing bones. My skull would help. That's a heavy bone too. Your skull probably... Taylor's not going down without a fight. Taylor's also a big builded guy. Yeah, absolutely is. They'll find your skull in the future and it'll be like... You ever see those South American people from like a thousand years ago?

With the enormous alien-like skulls because they would wrap their heads in bands and make them... Yeah, yeah. Yeah. They'll be like, oh, there was one of them in North America too? Okay.

It's like people, someone in like, you know, 2121 is going to be like, and we have reason to believe there were Neanderthals extant in the Northern US as recently as 2040. I wonder if they... Just me, dead,

still in a blue jersey. In a blue jersey. Apparently the ancients would dress up with Neanderthals. Like Cro-Magnon, right? They're all extinct or whatever, but apparently there's like, whatever, 0.1% Cro-Magnon in all of us. Is it possible that Taylor has like 0.2%

Cro-Magnon in there? Like Neanderthal, of course. I don't really know what I'm talking about. These are all just old people. Europeans have the most Neanderthal DNA. Uh-huh. Really? Yeah.

What is your background? Italian, I'm guessing, to look? Yeah, like Southern European. And I'm like a mutt like everybody is here where it's a big mix up there. But I think like even going further north... I was about to say, not all of us. Three of us are mutts and Tabe is over there

like a prized show dog. I can trace my lineage back to the olden... I'm a goddamn Viking over here. I don't know though, the Vikings were the ones that left, right? Yeah, I mean, wasn't the Vikings

the first people who went to America? Or across? On super, super small ships compared to when they went later. Which is crazy. And I think when they went there, it was like, oh, cool.

I don't know if they went back, though, but they probably did. They get over there and they're like, we found it! And they're like, fuck this! Oh, trees. We have trees at home. They landed so far north that it was just inhospitable. If they had just kept going down the coast,

they'd have found a real paradise. They should have known that about Earth. I'm sure that they did search all over. I think i think his name was leaf erickson right or was that just a spongebob joke no that that that was the guy's name uh but you know there were settlements in like in north america and greenland for sure but like i know we in iceland um that was like a thing those those vik Vikings too were really good at exploring. I don't know. Did you ever watch the TV show Vikings? The history channel did?

I started watching it but I haven't finished it. When it came out I watched I think the first season but then I got kind of bored. But I heard that it gets really good afterwards. It's real good. It's real good. I've seen it all. All that there is. i think maybe five or six

seasons or something but um that the main character uh ragnar lothbrok he's sort of a viking legend at this point because of the way that they're you know they they wrote in those um the symbols that i'm yeah runes yeah runes. And so the runes aren't that great at telling stories, I suppose. So it's a lot of word of mouth handed down. So at this point, it's difficult to separate the fact from the fiction on that Ragnar Lothbrok guy because it's like, oh, yeah, well, he traveled over to this place and he fought the English. And they're like, okay, well, we can verify that.

He definitely did. Yeah, the year was 709 and he fought the English and they're like, okay, well we can verify that. He definitely did. Yeah, the year was 709 and he fought the English here. And then he slew the dragon, Moontalk. Wait, wait, wait. He slew a dragon? Yes, yes. And he married the princess that the dragon was keeping prisoner. And then he, okay, I can't find any details on that. And then he went to France. like yeah yeah he did go to france i see that here so it's like this weird mishmash of like fiction and and

non-fiction if you if you went to the new world or discovered a new place in that air in that show it's not the new world but you know what i mean yeah like you discover a new place and you come back to a bunch of people who don't have and they've never left their village, I am lying my ass off about the kind of things I accomplished. I killed a thousand men, and the men there are a hundred foot tall!

All by headbutt. Yeah, all by headbutt. I wonder what those stories about dragons are fucking about. Here's one thing I definitely believe. I think that all the legends about Bigfoot are legit. I think that our ancient ancestors encountered that Gigantopithecus thing that was an actual eight-foot-tall ape that lived in North America.

It was like 14,000 years ago or something like that. We could have stories that are passed down or some memory of that where that could get passed down. I don't think there's any fucking big feet left alive don't get me wrong i'm not crazy but but i think that that's probably based in some fact long ago but where did the fucking dragon shit come from like all of those different you know you see the chinese so many different ones yeah yeah the chinese the the the viking cultures like the english like the the north americans every south americans everybody's talking about fucking giant lizards that africans

ever talk about dragons they talked about wanting water okay they didn't have time for that they they were just thirsty all the time they didn't have any dragon stories it is interesting that like i'd never really thought about the dragon shit where like it doesn't look the same but it is you know it exists in all these different lores throughout the entire world like could it just have to be something right like a giant ass bird or crocodiles you know crocodiles and alligators get fucking massive and i like like today obviously they're controlled to some extent and they're and they're like range has been limited to really small areas especially in north america you know it's like what do you, they're controlled to some extent and their range has been limited to really small areas, especially in North America. What do you mean they're controlled?

I mean, we kill them. But they're all over the place. But they don't have the kind of ecosystem they used to. There's cavemen and there's... I mean, we kill lots of them. There's a whole industry devoted to wearing them and shit. We kill lots and lots and lots of them. If there weren't humans running an industry of killing them and obviously there's wildlife lots and lots and lots of them. If there weren't humans running an industry

of killing them, and obviously there's wildlife agents and stuff down in Florida. In Florida, every body of water is assumed to be filled with alligators because it is filled with alligators. But as soon as one gets too big and does something wrong, they fucking kill it. I don't think that that's true. I think there's alligators in places

they don't want them all the time. They kill those alligators. I mean, maybe after they kill you Yeah exactly As soon as one does something wrong they kill it I feel like you're acting like the alligator Is a contained animal Like we've got that one sorted out

I'm pointing out the disparity Between how alligators Population once was and how it is today How at one time it was just anywhere that an alligator can live they can live there. And so there are millions of alligators and so there's a much higher likelihood of one getting enormous

like fucking 30 feet or something like that. Whereas today that seems kind of unlikely. Isn't that a thing that reptiles grow? Reptiles grow their entire life and never stop growing, right? Or did I see that in a movie? Yeah, Lake Placid, the documentary.

I saw that. And this is from Smithsonian.com. I think that's true of lobsters. Lobsters are technically immortal from what I've read. They just live forever until somebody wants a nice seafood dinner.

I wonder. that sounds interesting yeah it sounds like the kind of thing that can't be uh most of these dragon myths in all these different places a lot of it was based on even in the olden days fossils right of dinosaurs and also like bones of whales that were like near the shoreline that of course they didn't know like this absolutely has to be a seafaring animal like they'd see something so enormous and they're like fuck like i this this probably flies too right well as your lord of medicine uh first of all three more leeches on the eyelids because you saw that woman bathing and also um you know yes yes yeah being being a Also, yes. Being a doctor, a medical doctor, any time before 1900 would have been hilarious.

Just being a con man. You just mix shit up. Well, it seems you're possessed by demons, yes. And what about the bullet wounds in my chest? No, that's ancillary at most. That's where the demons get in. This is mostly demon related. You will know for sure if it's demon related

if a green algae sort of substance starts growing on you and you're dead within the fortnight. And so then in the end, they're like, yeah, he died. Just like you said, ah, demonry. Yeah, and things like mental illness. We, demonry. Yeah. And like things like mental illness,

like, like wearing your black plague mask, just being like, hold on. It's I'm sterile. Things like mental illness must have really sold them back in the day on the idea of demonic possession. If you think about it,

like, like we've all probably seen a homeless man out on the road talking to himself and fucking acting weird and shit and like if you take me back 500 years and i see that motherfucker i'm like oh satan satan's got him only one thing to do get so what's the deal if they drown they were guilty and if they don't drown it seems like they had that flipped all this time um i think what else floats very small rocks i remember watching that clip as a kid and like that i have i had never up until that point in my life busted out laughing before in that like can't control it way it was like my little brain couldn't process how something could be that funny like very small rocks i love it they like drag we've got a witch we've got a witch how do you know she's a witch cause she looks like one look at that nose and she's

like they put this on me and it's like a carrot nose with a string she like pulls it down like did you well we did put it on her yeah it's true it's true but she is a witch dude being being like chief witch finder or head doctor or anything like that would have been a stitch. So fucking easy. Nobody has the authority to question you. Even if they steal your medical textbooks, medical textbooks, just like some other older guy being like, now, contrary to what the Greeks thought, we do not want to get rid of too much blood. We need blood.

They hadn't figured that out until a couple hundred years ago. That's why Washington died. Wait, what? Yes! George Washington had a sore throat. That is a killer. It is a killer if the doctor prescribes taking a few pints of blood

out of you. And that's what they did. They took like three or four, you've only got five pints or something? No, I'm not a doctor, but this is starting to make sense to me right now i'm not saying taking five pints out is a good idea but if you swap out all the pints won't you stop being sick no no no you'll be dead and then kyle's 100 no no all right all right hear me i got more i got more so like fitness, right? When you're fit, you have more red blood cells. Couldn't I just swap out my blood for a fit person's?

Not in 1797. Maybe. Or like not drugs. You can actually, if you're an elite athlete, they take some blood out of you and you go up on high altitude and you work out. And then once you worked out there for a month or really hard, you go back, you get your own blood. They put your own blood back in. Okay, okay. Hear me out.

You go work out and then give me the blood. I don't know why that wouldn't work. It absolutely works. But you don't want the blood. You want the red blood cells. Yes. You want the oxygen carrying. That's what blood doping is.

I know. I just feel like you guys are really downing the whole blood swapping when there's some potential here. No, there was no swap at any time. It was literally a doctor being like i've got like a hundred splinters in my throat from these wooden teeth and he was like all right george we're gonna take a pint and a half of blood see how you feel in the morning took a pint and a half of blood and then they did what the doctors did with blood in those times and they went oh disgusting i'd dump it out and then the blood in those times, and they went, ugh, disgusting. I'd dump it out.

And then the next day he came back, and they're like, Georgie, how you feeling, my boy? And he's like, honestly, my throat's no better, and I feel very weak. And he's like, ah, still too much blood then. So they did the same thing again, and he just died. They were really bad at pattern recognition. And then back then, people would come in and tell the doctor, like, we know you did your best

meanwhile you needed like a fucking i were there's original and that was i do follow that they weren't swapping blood they were just draining it but i don't think that you guys are on board with all the medical benefits that could come with blood swapping. It would seem like if we swapped out all my blood, then I would get rid of half my sickness, maybe. Or you could get HIV. The sickness isn't in your blood. There's so much in your blood. It could be.

There's got to be a little in there. I mean, if anything, the antibodies are in your blood. The white blood cells are going out. Well, the new blood will have antibodies, too. Your blood will have to make new white blood cells that know what to do. I think you'll get sicker. Well, okay. I hear where you're coming from.

So what I need to do is swap blood with someone who's beaten this virus already. Well, now that'll work. That'll work. I think we just solved the AIDS crisis. I think I could be a 17th century doctor. Roll that 70s show like music. Like the gang solves the aids i think it was even in like the 1860s like during the civil war where all the doctors were like going around with a hacksaw doctor is a generous term for the people in this time going around and

being like sewing things up and sawing things off then they go to a big basin full of bloody dirty water dip their hands in and take it out and then go right and dip their hands into some other person and everybody was getting sepsis and then uh it was like florence nightingale or like some nurse and she was like honestly guys like if we just would use new water hear me out new water i think we could save some lives and all of them are like get a load of this bitch new fresh water what a cunt get out of here you don't have rights yet i'd be butting heads with florence nightingale no what we need is used blood if you're throwing that bucket of blood out

then the history books would read, Florence Nightingale almost caused a huge shift in medicinery. That was until Sir Matthew Woodworth stormed up, slapped her in the face, and said, Get the fuck out of here, you retard. We need our bloody water. Which led to the return of the Black Plague. We're so fucking backwards, and it has been, like,

it was just, it was like a hundred years ago, ago we didn't know we needed to wash our fucking hands it still feels backwards it still feels backwards to me like a lot of the problems we solve in surgery are done with like needle and thread and staples and nails the best example of that is that that seems barbaric and there's actually i'm gonna go back to star trek with this there's the star trek where they go back in time to earth to get the whale so the whale can talk to the aliens um and uh i can't remember who it is one of the crew members falls and bumps his head and he gets taken to a san francisco hospital before like the the ship's dr mccoy can get to him and they're about to drill holes in his head to relieve the pressure from because he's got like a he might so i'm on his brain or whatever like you are you barbarians you're gonna drill holes in this head to relieve the pressure because he's got like a he might saw him on his brain or whatever like you are you

barbarians you're gonna drill holes in this man's head you know and it's like yeah that's literally what we still fucking do in 2020 is we drill fucking holes in their head to relieve the pressure a lot of surgery seemed kind of carpentry based they are they use screws

like if you ever seen but they call pins I was watching one of my friends who went to medical school was like talking to me about how the misconceptions of non-doctors is like none of us are doctors and so when we see like a surgery going on like we're imagining the dude and they're like putting every little organ like that he had to remove back in the exact spot where it needs to go and organizing this and that. And he's like, no,

watch this video. Look what they actually do. They had to remove this guy's intestines and like his spleen and fix something else. And then look at how they put it in. And the doctor just like haphazardly just like grabs it, like slams it in there. He's like tucking the edges in and then he's doing laundry.

Yeah. He's like, he's literally like he's doing laundry and I'm like, holy shit, isn't that what's going to's gonna happen are we gonna get that thing that horses and great danes get like when it's like no you're not gonna get that he was like oh no in a few days it all reorganizes naturally it'll be fine and i guess it does apparently like your organs will just kind of resettle i feel like the poop goes through the intestines and just reorganize when you turn a water hose on.

Yeah. It's all kicked up and it just sort of straightens out and figures out its own way. Except your atis flops around forever. Oh, God, I wish. You know, another cool thing they used to do was because, and this was literally just because mercury, like liquid elemental mercury, is so cool looking and weird to us because it's heavy and it's metal, but it's a liquid.

All these cultures everywhere across the world were like, oh, this is the key to immortality. I need to drink this. I need to take spoonfuls of this. And so like kings and like Z, something Chinese last name, Quixiang, he was buried in a tomb ringed by rivers of mercury, and he would drink heavy amounts of the metal to try and make himself immortal. And all it really did, gave him cancer. See, that confirms my theory that it's not as poisonous as people makes it out to be. I'm pretty sure he was buried in the mercury

as a booby trap to prevent people from tampering with his grave. I think that was like a sort of Raider, like an Indiana Jones-style booby trap. Well, from tampering with his grave. I think that was like a sort of Indiana Jones style booby trap. Well, no, because at the time, they thought it was okay to ingest mercury. The doctors

were like, here you go. Here's your daily mercury dose. And he's like, God, I'm so cold all the time. Oh, here, have some mercury. We'll heat it up. I don't know how to describe it, but my pee feels heavy. What happened to that? Does it just get distributed throughout your body into reserves of mercury,

or do you poop it out? You absorb it. That's the problem. It absorbs into your body and goes to your brain. I used to play with it in high school. There was mercury available. Finally, we've solved it. What, really?

Yeah. Yeah. And people, like, we knew it was poisonous, but I disregarded those warnings. And I didn't drink it or anything, but you could put it in your hand and, like, you know, to transfer it from one hand to the other. You are not supposed to put mercury in your hand and transfer it from one hand to the other. You're not supposed to put mercury in your hand. It absorbs through your skin. Yeah, but not that much, apparently.

I'm fine. When I was done, there was less of it. There might have been. But if you drop mercury, I don't know if you guys ever played with mercury. Maybe just me. Yeah, I knew not to. I think I've barely seen it. I knew not to, but it was interesting.

Look, you know, what are you going to listen to every set of instructions they throw at you? Yeah, I knew not to. I think I've barely seen it. I knew not to, but it was interesting. So I did my... Look, you know, what are you going to listen to every set of instructions they throw at you? You never go anywhere. You won't do interesting things if you listen to everyone's instructions. So anyway... Where did you find it? In science class. Like, it was available.

And I was, like, drawn to it. Like, ooh, I'm going to play with the mercury again because it's cool. And if you drop, like, a cubic centimeter of it, it kind of splatters into smaller balls. And you have to guide them back to each other. Yeah, right. You have to guide them back to each other. And then it has an affinity for itself. Almost like Terminator, the third one.

Yeah, exactly. The liquid second one. Yeah. Well, the third one, too. The third and the second one. Wait, the T-1000? I bet you're right. Yeah, yeah. Oh, the T-1000? Yeah. Well, the third one, too. Yeah. The third and the second one. The T-1000? I bet you're right. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, T-1000? Yeah. I'm right. It started in the second one with the T-1000 played by Robert Patrick. Let me do an advertisement here to tell everybody about some of our wonderful sponsors. Everyone has had... Everyone has some hangover routine. They swear by, but there's only one the FDA actually agrees with.

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I am a watcher of Game of Thrones. I thought that was going to go somewhere a little deeper, a little feedback. How did you like it? Where do you guys want to start? We're going to go episode, but yeah, we're big fans. We haven't discussed the finale yet, and I guess maybe you could leave. What did you think about

I'll wait until Taylor puts his headset on. Yeah. What did you think about the Game of Thrones series finale? So I actually, I thought that the overall season has been kind of disappointing.

I think both the seventh and the eighth season have been underwhelming. But when I finished watching the last episode, I was actually pleased. I thought they actually pulled it off all right somehow. I do also think that it might be that I've just been numb after a while after these five

episodes in this season has just been kind of underwhelming and when the ending came I was just like, okay, yeah. I'll buy it. I wasn't super happy that bran was the um like the new king or whatever but i guess i don't really care that much i'm just happy that john didn't die i guess and yeah i kind of worked out we made that like uh that lack of caring in and of itself indicative of how they ruined the last couple seasons because i felt the same

way where it was like oh man i didn't want brand on the throne because he's boring as fuck and it but i don't care and it doesn't make sense i i saw a funny meme it was like you know tyrian made the case like who's got a better story than brand the broken and it's like um john snow aria sansa like the broken yeah i saw another tweet where something that went really viral where it was like brand the broken and brands like just just brand is fine brand the beat up just brand is for brand the wheelie wheelie legs no feeling. Alright guys, just stop. Just rip it on him.

Didn't you guys think that too? And it was like Bran the broken. I was like, oh man, let him pick a better name. It was a lame thing that he did there. He's like, you know, people have fear, people have respect, people have this, people have that, but what's more powerful than stories? Everything you just previously mentioned is more powerful than stories everything you just previously mentioned is more powerful like ah so what was the lannister story that secured

themselves for so long we started out rich got richer and they showed up inspired it showed like an example of like a commoner hearing about the new king and they're like well what's his deal they call him brand the broken he's he's he can't walk no no what's he done well he went beyond the wall what wall well way up in the north you know there's this big wall uh never never seen it oh okay well what what else well he's the three-eyed raven wait are new kings a bird well no no no he's he's got the memories of all of man what the does that mean does that mean he's seen me beaten up this guy's a fucking creep i don't want him in the he is a creep we made predictions about like

what we would think would happen this episode the one that i made that i wanted to happen it would have been so much better was that tyrian demands trial by combat like i i didn't think that john would kill danny i don't think but i i wanted i knew you know tyrian had already i knew tyrian would be in big trouble for letting his brother go i wanted tyrian to demand trial by combat and john snow to fight gray worm and we'd have got one last badass choreographed battle between what are essentially two of the greatest warriors still left on the show in Grey Worm and Jon Snow. I'd have a hard time thinking of a better

sword fight than that. I knew Bran the Broken was going to win the Game of Thrones for like three episodes now and I did zero to give that away so you're welcome to everybody watching. I didn't read spoilers. Did you say how did I know?

Yeah, how did you figure it out? I didn't figure it out. It was leaked. Oh, okay. So what happened is they leaked all the bullet point plot lines of season eight, and by three episodes in, it's nailing everything. So you can kind of know that the next three are probably going to be right too. I didn't see any spoilers. I didn't mean seasons. see i didn't mean seasons i meant episodes any spoilers at all still guessed that brand was

going to be the king because and here's my logic this guy if there's only there was only one stone left unturned at the for that last episode who becomes king and if brand didn't unturn that stone and become King his entire Storyline would have been for nothing. It would have been a total waste of time He didn't use his genius knowledge to give anybody tips He knew that Dany was gonna burn everyone apparently like he knew all this stuff didn't clue anybody in and so if he didn't become King everyone would have been like well, what the fuck have we been doing with this guy? He's literally, if he deleted his entire scene. Yeah, if he deleted everything, it would have been nothing.

You know what didn't make sense to me? This makes no sense whatsoever within the world of Game of Thrones is that first of all, they're like, no, let Jon Snow go. And this invading army of Unsullied unsullied is like no we will not let him go he has to be punished and and they're all and all of the lords of westeros are like okay i guess you've got an equal voice here so let's hear you out let's come to a compromise with you invading army of dickless men who are black i can't see all of these pasty white. Lords and ladies. Listening to a slave army.

Of dickless black men. Who have come across the ocean to kill them. Don't make that face. They literally are. They're all dickless black men. When you put it like that. You're right. It is a little ridiculous. They wouldn't agree to that.

And here's the other thing. Here's what they would do. They'd be like. Yeah we'll send them to the wall. You can't imagine how bad it is and then they're like okay we will sail away now to the island of nath and they'd all leave and they'd be like hey john john they're gone they're gone we're good we're good so you're gonna be king now right i know you don't want it i know but but we need you i'll do that yes and that's the end of

the game of thrones you don't you don't You don't keep your word to the fucking dickless invading army. They're gone. Were they coming back to check up? The most ridiculous part of that whole little council scene was they had established fucking 15 minutes prior that just Jon being like

please don't kill these men. They've surrendered. They've laid down their arms. Just saying that was enough to get Grey Worm to be like, I'm going to fucking kill you, dude. I'm going to kill you. Then I'm going to kill these Lannister guys because fuck you. That was enough. Just him saying, don't kill these guys in the street.

Don't kill these no-name red shirts. But he apparently kills Daenerys. Not apparently, he kills Daenerys. And then apparently leaves and confesses after Drogon had flown away with all the evidence and then we skip two weeks because Grey Worm is like put him in the sense like as though they wouldn't just kill him then and there he killed their

queen like if there's one thing the Unsullied believe in it's your process it just it doesn't flow with the way the Unsullied have behaved the entire time there was some character development in Jon Snow that I feel like hasn't been widely acknowledged. I like that he did the wrong thing for the greater good in killing Dany. I like that they sent him to the wall to be part of the...

What is it? Night's Watch. Night's Watch. That's what I'm going for. I had Men in Black and Night's Watch combined. Men in Black is so much cooler! Wait. They take the black. for. I had Men in Black and Night's Watch combined. Men in Black is so much cooler! They take the black.

Anyway, it didn't come out right in my head. Anyway, anyway. So he gets to the wall and immediately is like, you know what? I'm out of here. Fuck it. I'm going to go live the life I want to live. You know who won the Game of Thrones? Jon Snow. Jon didn't want to be the

Iron Throne 7 or 6 kingdoms thing. That wasn't what he wanted. Instead he's going to go chill with that red haired dude. He won the Game of Thrones. He got the life he wanted. Sansa won the Game of Thrones. He cannot have a wife though. Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. I think

you're widely mistaken and missing what I'm getting at. He got to the wall and immediately said, ah, wait. No, no, no. I think you're widely mistaken at missing what I'm getting at. He got to the wall and immediately said, ah, fuck this and lived the life he wanted to. He went north of the wall with the wildlings. He's going to be slaying pussy and telling stories for the rest of his life. He did good, but another ridiculous

thing is how over the course of seven minutes they establish a worldwide, as far as the world is concerned to them all of westeros stark hegemony of power where it's like all right bran you're gonna be the king everybody cool with that okay uh sansa do you vote i we will remain an independent kingdom and then the people of dorne who were independent way more recently than the North, didn't go, uh, yeah, us too,

actually. They're just like, okay, that seems fair. So there are two major powers now, both run by the same family, and then whatever powers that be that are extended beyond that wall that we're not that familiar with, that we trust you based on what you've said, is going to be run by yet a third Stark, or at least someone with Stark

tendencies as far as loyalty. Yeah, I yeah i'm good with it yeah we totally trust the starks to do whatever they want there was a panel of like 11 people deciding how to run the world afterwards with nine starks on it or something ridiculous not starks but like starks or northern men or people loyal to the stars like relatives you know it was funny i'll give them credit for like one tiny bit of good writing. This is probably the best thing they've written in two years. When Edmure Tully stands up. I have done this and that.

And Uncle, sit down. Yeah, that was funny. Poor Edmure. He's just the butt of every joke. Did he do anything wrong to deserve that? No, it was just another little girl power moment remember when he remember when he tried to shoot uh his father's funeral higher boat yeah and he kept missing over and over and the blackfish had to take over

oh yeah that was that was the first like time they like mocked him openly and then of course the red wedding they like he gets locked up and doesn't get unlocked for like five years. Yeah. But to me, I didn't even remember the error scene. I remembered him sort of stepping up when Robb Stark didn't. And I'm like, why is he such an ass? Because he seems like, you know, he didn't quite step up. They were like, you're going to do this. OK, it needs to be done. And he's like, at at the time i was like

if i'm him i'm like well then why didn't you do it rob why are you fucking this nurse like like this was your duty well now it's yours like there was like a whole she turned out to be fairly hot like that was the big reveal right like like well the one that didn't you say that that the nurse chick was one of your favorites on all that was uh arian that was and she was she was very attractive she had a real nice ass yeah but but we didn't really get to see the body of the fray girl but the idea was that this fray girl was surely going to be a troll because she was from trollville and then you and then you meet her and you're like, oh, actually, this will do. She looks like a real princess. This is great.

And Edmure lifts the veil and he's like, hey. Yeah, Walter Frey gave him the cream of the crop. I want an extra shot of a young Walter Frey when he's picking out his house's headwear. And he's like looking in the mirror. And he's got a cowboy hat.

No! I need to see the fray hat. Baseball cap. No. Puts that little fucking ridiculous sock cap on. Perfect. This is how we'll be remembered. All the attractive women in this house, put this on their head. I'd like a pointy piece

of felt with ear straps. Now I don't want it to be comfortable. I want everyone in the house to be itchy. No, it shouldn't protect us from any elements. Our hair should look awful and it should still be cold.

It looks like a yarmulke. That would have been so fucking funny as if they're like, alright, well, we've won over the the house mormon family now we need to win over the green steins of house i think i'm trying i googled fray hat but i think i'm looking at monty python hats it's pretty much the same thing pretty similar yeah there we go it's like a peasant cap type type thing it's pretty lame i found an actual one i think yeah i i was i want the episode ended and i felt so empty you know i was just like i was like i was thinking back to like how much i used to love the show

and and how and how how drained that that episode left me and i was just like this is not you know that and you get if you look at the imdb ratings right i don't know if you've seen that of how like every season uh i i saw the imdb graph you know and it's episodic and see and seasons so like season one it's like it's like i'm just making up numbers but let's just say it's like a seven an eight a nine a nine a nine a ten like for every episode like it sort of goes up like that and then it's not until you get to this final season where it's just like shit tear like there had never been an episode as low as like the first or second episode there been one that was even close and and like i'm pretty sure it was the sansa rape episode like that's the only episode

that had ever been as low even in the same category of lowness, as this entire season has been. Sometimes bad ratings can be a good sign. Like the Sansa rape episode, I need to recall the rest of the stuff that happened. But if I come out with a product and everyone's really mad that it's too expensive, that's a bit of a compliment because it means they want it. Right? If I come out with something they don't care about and charge $5,000, they't they don't give a shit if there's an outrage it means they wish they could have it when sansa gets raped if they're rating that really low that might mean that they care about sansa it does that's exactly what it means and it also meant that like a lot of people felt the

rape served no purpose and was unnecessary and was extreme um in the same way like i know that you and i probably have the exact same favorite episode of the walking dead and that is one of their lowest um scoring episodes ever as well the one where that andrea chick dies oh no it's the one where negan smashes the head smashes glenn's head in um that one got very low um not ratings but um scores because so many people disliked the outcome it wasn't they were like this was poor cinematography they were like we hate what you did we hate what you did and it's affecting us we are emotionally damaged because of what you put us through we feel tortured by this product that we've beloved that was so beloved

before what have you done to us that's a good thing if you ask me and personally and after that happened there was a real strong reaction with walking dead and i feel like it's been shit tear ever since it's been on a downward slope afterwards because they were like all right let's tone down the gore let's tone down the violence and and certainly this like this season got better you probably haven't seen it yeah Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'll never know. I'm never watching again. I refuse. If Rick comes back, I'll tune back in.

If Rick doesn't, I'll never watch again. Rick is so overrated. Yeah. That guy and his tears and his overacting and his dramatic. He's supposed to be a leader, but he's so flimsy in terms of steadfastness. He gives extreme courage to extreme pussiness. Somewhere in the middle, he's floppy as a character.

Great character. Did any of you notice that the ghost petting scene was a reused scene from season 4? What? No. What? Really? It was a reused clip of Jon petting ghosts. Do you think they squeezed it in

as everybody lied to some of the reaction service yeah yeah well we genuinely can't afford and this and then the hbo people are like no you can we can we'll give you the money to do it and they're like no what you see we already sent that department home because fuck this shit uh but the ear was gone on the dog oh well, well, that's an easy little fix. I'm talking about the actual sideways scene of him petting Ghost. I didn't catch that. That's funny. Have you read that, or is that just coming from you? I saw a screenshot by screenshot grab where it showed season four, episode three, season eight, episode six.

So they just shoehorned a quick pet. Fuck you, HBO. It's even the same guy in the same armor on the horse behind it. But I want to know, like, Tabe, who were... There are a lot of characters that everybody pulled for throughout the whole thing. Who were kind of your

main horses that you were interested in and pulling for throughout the series? I mean, it obviously was John. I always felt... I feel like it was kind of generic to to really like his storyline but i was always i was always into that uh i also really like aria aria and especially when she uh kind of i can get a little because i felt like it was drawn out when she was at the uh the faces of Many Gods. Yeah, the Braavos

place. I thought it was going to be a little drawn out but I also thought it was interesting because I always felt like she was always very important and she was also like a cool character. From like she was young, she was cool, she was like badass. So those two and obviously Tyrion too.

Were there any like really unpopular characters that for some reason you're like, hell yeah, this is my dude? Because I was like that with Ramsay. I thought Ramsay was interesting as shit. He was one of my favorites. Yeah, Ramsay and also just from the acting of that guy, I feel like because I hated Ramsay.

But I loved whenever he was on screen, I was just like, I was enjoying it because he was just captivating in a way. Yeah But I mean I was I'm not a super fan of Sansa though whenever like Sansa somehow when she's on on screen, I just go like oh I wish he died They should have killed her off so long ago. You know my problem the aria stuff uh when she was uh in bravos was i love a good montage of training i love the rocky movies yeah for that when i see rocky being like all right mick let's go back to the basics we gotta beat clubber lang or we wouldn't be

i want to see aria chase a chicken just for kyle fan service stuff like that i love to see fucking rocky cranking out those those like elevated uh like punching some hanging buffalo beating up beating up the fucking meat all that shit i thought i felt like we didn't get to see much very good training from aria we got some of course we got to see like the stick fight and we got to see the lie telling whatever you want to call that um but we never really got to see the lie telling, whatever you want to call that. But we never really got to see any like kung fu mastery or like sneaking skills or like weapons training. Remember recently when she's throwing those fucking knives like she's a world championship like dart thrower? Where was the scene where she learned to throw knives? You don't just learn to throw knives.

I practice throwing knives. It's hard as fuck. Show her training show her throwing them and clanging off the board if i was to throw a knife at my enemy i might just save us time and hand it to him yes yes you're just gonna like slap sideways off their chest and fall into an easily grabbable range like now i have your knife this is yeah well would you mind now you try throwing it at me no it's really easy I just fucked it up I would love to have seen

cause to me Arya's best the best stuff with Arya is when she's with the hound and they're riding on horseback oh yeah I agree first to the Eyrie and then trying to get to Winterfell and maybe it's because the Hound is there and I'm thinking

those are the Hounds. They have such a good dynamic together. Great dynamic. Those two should have had their own show. If I could rewrite the show, I'd probably have the Hound live. But they should be a sitcom and they should be like a buddy movie where they just go together tell jokes and kill people for chicken.

A cop movie, basically. Of all the potential spinoffs and prequels tell me you're not more would be more excited if you heard that the hound and aria are going to explore whatever's west of westeros together yeah i see the opening they're on a horse the friend's theme song is going i'll be there for you and it's lots of screenshots of like the hound getting caught like eating a whole chicken theme song is going, I'll be there for you. And it's lots of screenshots of the hound getting caught eating a whole chicken. You caught me. Lots of that shit. The hound's best scene to me is

when the hound and Arya are in that fucking bar and those Lannister soldiers are there and he's talking about the chickens and he's like you really want to die over some chickens like someone is you know he's so hardcore there he's so hardcore and aria is equally hardcore no matter how hardcore the the the hound takes it aria's right there like yeah let's kill some motherfuckers yeah i don't remember lines like you do but it

there's a point where they're like you know you give us a chicken he's like i'll eat every fucking chicken in this place if i have to and it's just like yeah he just like he's you talk you talk a lot cunts like you talk a lot when they when the more they talk the hungrier i get there's something like something, if you keep talking, I'm going to have to eat every fucking chicken in this place. Yeah. And then when she kills him, it happens differently in the book. In the book, if I remember right,

she kind of violently stabs him and loses her head. In the TV show, they do a better job, oddly, where she just slowly puts needle maybe up through his chin and brain. Oh, through his neck, and she repeats the lines that he said as he killed her friend. Are you hurt, boy? Can you walk? You'll

have to carry me. Carry you? Fucking puts that right through his trachea slowly. Yeah, fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. I like that. One of yeah fuck that guy fuck that guy i i like that that like one of the things i like about game of thrones is there are a few instances like that where there's someone who wrongs our characters and years later we come back and get them and like it was my complaint forever that we had not dealt with those phrase yet and so in that episode

when aria shows back fucking feeds him his children and fucking cuts his throat and peels off that fake face i'm like this is about as game of thrones has elevated to a whole fucking new level here this is hard fucking core i just love that what like going around like what what could have happened in kind of the conclusion of the show that you would have come away with it being like okay this is a much more satiating ending yeah it's it's all right so john snow fights uh gray worm um for for for tyrian and uh and kills gray worm i don't know how i would have dealt with danny um you know maybe oh i thought that part was actually good i liked john killing danny i don't know about i

like that john kissed her right because i feel like that what happened was i'm sorry that we were going on kyle's favorite ending but john's character developed and no one's talking about it right he was like unable to kiss her for the longest time because she wasn't being she wasn't living up to his expectations that's how i interpreted it and then when she really misses expectations, he kisses her and kills her. It was an act of deception that he would never have done. When he met Cersei and afterwards Tyrion is like, could you learn to lie? Maybe just a little, you know?

Yeah. He did. He did. And now he's living his dream life north of the wall. He's dead. He's dead. Yada, yada. That stab scene was such a huge movie and film trope.

The whole, like, the blade is concealed as it goes in the the way and the the cinematography was such a huge cliche you know that they kiss the blade goes in and then and then you pan out to reveal that you know the weapon and everything i mean i can think of a like like go back to sin city right the end of where uh when josh hartnett uh it's you know he kills the woman at the end he pulls her in close he kisses her shoots her with a silencer we zoom out we see the weapon she's dead like that's been repeated

slow reveal of the blood around the nail dozens of times that's been revealed that's been done just like that don't fucking do that to me what way would you have liked more I don't know how you deal with Dany. I don't have an answer for that. But for everybody else, I wanted them to fight.

I wanted there to be a trial by combat for Tyrion where Jon Snow fought Grey Worm, and obviously Jon Snow wins because he's the best of the best. And then now Tyrion is free, so maybe maybe they just maybe what i'd have liked is if they had just voted danny out honestly if they just been if she'd been like wait none of you want to serve with me and like like maybe that group of 11 people or whatever we saw then they're all like no we'll die fighting you like that happens and then she goes back to the house with the red door from her childhood and lives happily ever after.

Do that. Or she goes with John up north and lives like in a fucking cottage. No, she had to die. The established army following she had that was going to fight for her to the death and all that until apparently she did die. Or I guess fight to the death means once you're dead, you don't have to fight anymore. What blood riders do. Yeah, do you know what blood riders do? They were all her blood riders. They were all supposed to

get revenge and then kill themselves. Is that right? Yes, yes. They're literally supposed to get revenge. Maybe that's where they all killed. It made no sense for the Dothraki to just be like, and then get back on a boat. I can't even read the signs around here. Let's go home. They just get back on a boat. I can't even read the signs around here. Let's go home.

They just get back on a boat, which has been told to us. They fucking hate getting on those goddamn boats. The Unsullied did. Did the Dothraki go with the Unsullied? Because I don't remember them getting anything. Yeah, yeah. The Dothraki went their own way.

They're just going to rape and pillage around Westeros for the rest of the time. You would think that there are 8,000 Dothraki which multiply by... Before we go to someone else, I want to jump to what Tabe was saying about his hopeful ending. Oh, yeah. It was just

a dumb idea that it would be that Drogon would have chosen Jon instead of Dany. It'd be like, you are the better. You are the real Targaryen. And you should ride me.

And Jon gets up on Drogon, maybe. I thought that was going to happen. What if Drogon burned Dany? What if Drogon was like, huh? But she still doesn't burn. Come here, Drogon was like, huh? He was like, huh? And you get to choose. But she still doesn't burn. Come here, Drogon.

Come, come here, come here. Jon's got bacon the whole time. Yeah, right? You know what I wanted to see? As the small council was all filtering in at the end, and it's intentionally awkward and dumb, which you want to talk about the winner of Game of Thrones? It's fucking Bronn.

He won. Oh, yeah. But I wanted to see like at the end hot pie come in and be head chef of the red keep hot pie and then it goes out with him winking and then it does the looney tunes that's all folks so there were a lot of things not to like about game of thrones but one thing that i did like is they answered a lot of questions you know like you kind of find out what happens to almost every house there's probably some i'm not thinking of but they like what happens to every person in it you do get that answer and that's not true of a lot of things when the sopranos ended i kind of wondered what happened to his family afterwards sopranos ended i kind of wondered what

happened to his family afterwards when loss ended i kind of wanted about a million things when dexter ended when a lot of shows ended i'm just like oh but like there were a lot of storylines that that didn't really get tied up with a bow most game of thrones had so many storylines except for the prince that was promised which seemed to mean nothing although all along r plus l equals nothing um here's imagine this ending how about this we have our trial by combat john snow defeats gray worm but danny says no bullshit because she's gone crazy dracarys she wants the dragon to burn john and tyrian as they stand down there because you know maybe tyrian just gave a speech like he won. I'm free.

We have to go on and do this and that. I see where you're headed with this. Tyrion burns. Jon Snow has fire and vulnerabilities, and you see a full frontal. No? No, no, no. Okay. Absolutely not. The dragon goes... He says, Dracarys.

And the dragon's like, No! I'm not gonna burn... Like like he knows that john's a targaryen right he won't do it and she's getting more and more frustrated and maybe she even picks up a weapon and tries to kill john and the fucking dragon eats her it tears her apart right there and fucking kills her and everybody's speechless but first she tries to burn her it doesn't work in full frontal am i alone on? She's never getting naked again. All it does is singe the pubes off. She's gotten too big for her britches

or whatever the opposite of that is that would keep her clothed. Dude, I was watching, there's all these memes and little gifs and stuff like that. Early Game of Thrones was practically porn. There were porn stars in it. There were porn stars in it doing There were porn stars in it,

doing porn star-y stuff in it. Even Emilia Clarke, like when she's taking it doggy style from Drogue, Carl, I call him Carl. Carl Drogo, that's his name. But when she's getting that, it's kind of porny, right? Nowadays, you know,

you're lucky to get butt cleavage. It's practically... I feel like I was alone on an island for the longest time for years with everybody's like, man, Game of Thrones is so awesome. There's so many tits and you get to see pussy sometimes too. And like, I was always of the opinion, like, I don't want that in a show. I don't fucking care about the sex scenes. I don't care about the tits.

If you're going to watch porn, go watch porn. I am so not with you. You know what's been established in this show? Is that they needed every ounce of time that they had. Oh, no. Dorn's sandstake storyline. All the porn and the nonsense. Cut that out and maybe we get a decent ending.

Oh, you're so wrong. I would watch the very beginning of this show. The beginning, beginning, beginning. Before the show even starts it would be like it has adult situations this that violence i'm like doesn't say nudity this time this is weak shit no it's pretty funny that you're like hard scoping the yeah i'm hard scoping the mature like the reasons this is a mature show to see if it'll be cool or not yeah i didn't i just thought it took up time the nudity was built into the show it wasn't like it all right it was gratuitous but

it wasn't the the normal kind of gratuitous it wasn't like insanely gratuitous it wasn't well it wasn't like let's just go over here and show some titties it was like there'd be a scene in a whorehouse what happens in a whore if you do enough scenes in a whorehouse and i haven't seen a titty yet i'm gonna start losing my sense of disbelief right i mean we've been hanging out in a whorehouse and I haven't seen a titty yet, I'm going to start losing my sense of disbelief. We've been hanging out in a whorehouse. That's true. If it's a scene in a whorehouse, you're right.

I haven't seen a titty yet. Roz would show her pussy a lot. To Theon. Yeah. She ended up being the one who Joffrey wanted to beat the other lady with the club or whatever. Hanna!

Dude, the sex, to me, was part of the character development. Like, when you saw that Oberyn, I think I pronounced that close, was fucking all kinds of whores. Like, that was part of who he was, and they had a different attitude towards sex and homosexuality. The whole thing, they were just kind of way more chill and then when you saw like tyrian fucking whores everywhere it was like hey this is supposed to be a flawed guy so was braun like these things were all part of who they were and then you get virtuous guys like ned or john snow who didn't do that sort

of thing and that was part of who they were and like it wasn't gratuitous did you catch that did you catch that joke a while a few episodes back i think where bron is in the whorehouse and he gets interrupted by might have been kyburn or somebody and and and like john's like i mean bron is literally like like in the middle of sex and he like he's like yeah you got to come with us we got a mission for you whatever and uh as they're walking out he's like poor thing like referring to one of the whores she's got the pox she'll be dead within the fortnight and and bron is like oh yeah i love that joke that was so good he's just been fucking one of them poor thing pox should be dead within the fortnight which which which one his death was the most realistic feeling of anyone's kai burns oh yeah it was just

finally when the golem he had created turned on him and decided i don't fucking care and just boom throw him down the stairs and then cersei does the like the uh that like the german chancellor uh what is it theresa may that politician who's like sneaking across the stage in that british meme yeah doing that shit across there he hit that floor like a makuchan monkey tossed against a brick wall he was just dead instantly it was great he crumpled up yes yes that was the best part of the whole episode was like the clegane fight and then like the little bit of because uh the hound is a good actor and when you kind of see him laughing the whole episode was like the Clegane fight. And then like the little bit of, cause, uh, the hound is a good actor. And when you kind of see him laughing the whole time,

which is in my view, like he's realizing like this vengeance trip he's been on, not only is it not going to serve him, you know, in the way he wanted, but the person he's been seeking vengeance after hasn't been alive for years. Like this, this is just a automaton

basically that wants to kill him based on some remedial memory like it was i feel like it was almost him realizing like i may as well die but i was so dumb to think that this would be any different than it is right now this is a thing that i like about actors right i start to think of the actors as their characters in a superficial way like i think about i literally dislike the actor that played king joffrey because he played king joffrey so well sir clegane the the hound i want to say and um who's the red-haired guy that won't let love brianne uh tormund giant spain thank you tormund giant spain i see these guys and i think of them as like real badasses, right?

They probably enjoy chopping lumber in their spare time or something. And then I see them off-scene, like behind the scenes, I mean to say. And they're singing, and they're getting along with each other. And it's like, oh, my God. In real life, they're theater geeks. They were like unpopular kids in high school who goofed around a lot and were kind of, I don't know, light on their theater geeks. Yeah.

Playing badasses. They could probably sing and dance too. Yeah, they literally could sing and dance and they enjoy it and they do things like they sing together behind set or off camera. These are married men. They're married men. These are married men. Yeah. They're totally different than their characters, which is to their credit, but also interesting in my mind how like that's just not how I see them.

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That's how you get high-end sneakers. I think I have a Nighthawk at home. Ooh. That's a very nice router. Yes, it is. Yeah, it's... It really is. She's not been discussing them a bit. I'm going...

I'm getting... I'm in the process of getting one myself. I'm pretty excited. I think I can go to the store and actually have Wi-Fi coverage almost. It's crazy. Woody, did you get a chance to watch any of Chernobyl?

No. We just talked about it last night. Kyle was telling me about it last night. I have been sleeping on time and it's ruining my media consumption. Taylor, did you get a chance to watch any of Chernobyl? You're muted.

Not yet. I haven't yet well I know Tabe has watched some cuz I peeped his Twitter it's on Netflix and you could binge it if you wanted to now carry it out it's HBO there's three three or four out of they're gonna be probably six maybe i don't know how much it's one of the best like it's one of the scariest stuff that i've seen because it's so you're sitting there but like this can't like this it was not this bad and you go to google and you're like oh yeah it was bad everything it was just it's just terrifying you i definitely recommend it's so are you are you usually like susceptible to scary stuff where you get spooked not at all no no but this one it's I think it's also because you know happened and I feel um it's oh I mean my um I mean my mom

I remember her telling me that you know she didn't let my sister play outside when the accident had happened for a while because everyone was freaked out because you didn't really know how far it was going to be. And there was a while where you weren't supposed, for a couple of years, you're not supposed to eat mushrooms and berries and stuff. Really? I forget how much closer you were. Yeah, it was fairly it was it was detectable there that was one i think that's how it how it um like came world news is it was detected in sweden yeah the swedish i think um i don't remember uh what the the nuclear plant was called but yeah i mean i wasn't alive at that. I wasn't born at the time. So I'm not supposed to know.

No, I'm born in 88. Ah, okay. Well, 86. I was born at the time. You were born, yeah. So Kyle remembers it. I remember it. It was the day I was born because it was.

Yeah, it's not scary, Taylor, like a horror movie. It's scary, like natural disaster of the kind of scale. Like a reminder of what actually could happen out there. Yeah, if people do the wrong thing. I'm a big proponent of nuclear energy. I think that's the direction we need to go. But if it's done incorrectly, and I still haven't gotten to the part of the show

where they explain exactly how it exploded. And I know it might sound stupid, but I don't want to Wikipedia it and find out how the thing exploded. But I want the show to roll it out to me because it's a bit of a mystery in the show right now exactly how it exploded. I watched a YouTube video about the Chernobyl disaster. I don't think it's going to spoil anything. going to spoil anything but apparently like even at the time like they were blowing off so many things we knew and so many kind of you know not regulations because it was you know they probably wasn't regulated there in this way but like when it was investigated and like looked at by scientists from other nations they're like holy shit they did this and this? This happened in 1987. Like, we knew you could not do these things and maintain it.

And they were just still running an old-ass nuclear reactor that they hadn't updated. And so it was really like a matter of time until it fucked. The fucked part is, you know, you start with these characters in the first episode. And you see them being exposed to the radiation. And then by the third episode it has taken effect and the effect is horrific it you can't imagine how horrific it is you just have to see it have you seen the the photo of the guy who was really close to either fukushima or uh this event and they kept him alive against his will like all strapped up in these like in hospital

like gurney straps whatever it's called and his like all his limbs are suspended and he is like his entire body boils not even skin just like irritated muscle tissue and like little remaining skin like it's one of the most harrowing like if you were to take that person

sit him in a Saw movie your reaction would be like little remaining skin. Like it's one of the most harrowing. Like if you were to take that person, sit him in a saw movie, your reaction would be, that's a little unrealistic. Don't you think? Like it's that level of brutal. I Googled Chernobyl. Like my geography is terrible. I'm probably not alone in that.

And it's 500 miles from Sweden. It's a 27 hour drive. There's a ferry. Like it is so much closer than I... I guess I thought it happened on the east coast of Russia, but that's not where Chernobyl is. No, it's on the west. It's in the Soviet era, too.

When you see how they're handling... No one wants to take the blame, either. Everyone is just you know there's someone else's fault and yeah shit is rolling downhill at the speed of light you know everybody that's guys fault so it's like it's Kyle's fault but Kyle's

gonna blame it on someone else yeah and nobody even wants to they're all so afraid of being blamed that they're happy to stick their heads in the sand and be like well there's no problem if there's no problem then nobody can be blamed exactly yeah and it's and you're just like this isn't going away and and when people finally get there who can like who know what's going on and they like actually start laying out the facts they're like well it'll be 50 years before this element is gone that That's the half life of it. But it'll be

10,000 years before all of this is gone. And Gorbachev is, well, how long before the people can move back in? 1,000 years? I don't know. Something like that. And he just hangs up the phone. He was hoping to hear six months.

I have a dumb question. Is the show all in English? Yes. Not only is it in English, there aren't very many Russian actors or people who can do a Russian accent. So it's English with bad Russian accents. They are doing it with good English accents. I think that's my preference.

It's mine! Someone was... I was talking about it the other day and my discord went would you like a spot of tea comrade they're British accents I don't know why I heard English accent and thought Missouri but I did

no it's a lot of English actors playing Russian people you know it might be hard to find a Russian who's brave enough to be in a movie about this, right? Putin might be like, I don't like that story. There's a Swedish actor and there's a Swedish guy. He is the guy who directed it too. Johan Renck and then you have Skarsgård. Stellan Skarsgård is the...

Skarsgård. Skarsgård is the first score. Star Skarsgård. He is the regional wise regional manager, whatever. Like did anyone else auto complete that to like assistant to the manager? Am I alone? The regional manager. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm starting to just sit here and yawn um no i understand it it for those of you listening it's a little bit late for uh for tapes right now we really appreciate them coming on so like what time is it there actually i know it was one now it's 3 a.m so it's uh it's fading yeah that's my bedtime so thanks for sticking up with us for so long man you got to come back on when it's a well i guess it's always going to be this time where you are yeah i mean maybe in the future i'll go to the u.s soon so yeah in the future like if we have you on we'll make an effort we switch days for you i know but maybe next time that was super kind of you yeah not a big deal at all but maybe in the future we could make an effort to like do the show an hour or two earlier for us so we could we you know don't keep you up till three in the morning and such but we do appreciate

having you on it was fun catching up thank you for sure yeah yeah where can everybody find uh all your stuff uh they can find it uh just t-e-j-b-z and if you search for that on twitter on on instagram on youtube on twitch awesome wherever you want it comrades all right sounds good good to see you man have a good one bye yeah but uh those of you who are listening if you want you know game of thrones is over if you want a new show for as long as it lasts because it is a mini series chernobyl is fucking top tier it's it's it's real good it's my favorite thing that's on television right now. Do you feel like there's a connection between,

and maybe I'm wrong, between like miniseries, just that format lending itself to really fucking good content? Like, I feel like you got Band of Brothers, you have so many miniseries that are outstanding and spectacular because you get to flesh it out more than a movie, but you're not to the point where it's like well there's an undefined ending so i don't know what

to divulge at a given point like they've got it structured the whole way through and i think that makes for the best shit yeah i think so um you can make the argument that breaking bad did a really good job of um ending on top like being like well look we could stretch this out for years more we could have Walt get cured but no we're making the best product we can make and it ends in the fifth season and I think yeah that's definitely true of a miniseries it's exactly what you said uh they have enough time in this case seven hours roughly to flesh out a really good story um they have the budget to cover that because I'm sure that's not cheap. But at the

same time, they're not bound by that open-endedness of a series that you would love to get picked up and run for four, five, six, seven years and get into syndication and all that nonsense. Yeah, I think that miniseries are some of the greatest content. Some of my favorite content ever have been miniseries. Band of Brothers, of course. I'm not a huge fan of Pacific, but it was still really good. It was still very good. Not nearly as good as the first one, but I thought as far as shows go, it was good. Yeah, that one, the main guy, the southern guy from Alabama who got turned down and 4F'd or whatever the fuck it's called.

That guy, terrible actor. And he kind of took you out of it a bit the guy uh the egyptian dude uh rami malik who played the the louisiana had that like mouth always half open kind of voice like yeah he killed it i thought he was a great actor in that series like i liked his character as one of those dead eyes He had those dead eyes. Yeah, those dead, I've seen a lot of shit eyes. No, don't go digging in there, man. Don't go digging in there. They got germs.

He's throwing the pebbles. The Japanese machine gunner has had the top of his head blown off. It's like from the eyebrows up is gone, and it's just a bowl of brain water. And he's going, bloop, throwing pebbles. Bloop. And the guy's like, stop.! Throwing pebbles. Bloop! And the other guy's like, stop! Stop! Stop throwing

the pebbles! Come on! I don't even want to hear that, much less look at it. Bloop! I'm due for a rewatch of that show. And especially all those monologues. Military PTSD freaks me out, man. The Company of Heroes.

Oh, go ahead, Woody. Sorry. No, that's it. I become very sensitive to military PTSD because I live in this world with military people in my life. And, yeah, him throwing pebbles into the brain thing, you know how screwed up he must be? You know, he will get home and he'll have to adjust. Like, imagine how little a traffic ticket matters to you after an experience like that now everything back home matters to you barely at all it it'll mess up your whole you're gonna

need a whole bunch of capuchin monkeys just uh yeah just to just to keep things interesting yeah they all have our coping mechanisms i was thinking last night i was like now do i want to start watching uh chernobyl or do i want to watch the saint louis blues make it to their first stanley cup final in 50 years hell yeah they are he's literally leaving is it a goof or is he leaving? No, he's probably got to pee or something. Dude, so the Stanley Cup, I'm sorry, the St. Louis Blues have played in 12 Stanley Cup final games. I didn't really think that through with the fingers.

It was funny after you put up Three fingers to say 12 You're like let's remedy that Ah damn it I started without a plan But they played 12 They're at 0-12 in Stanley Cup Final Games I don't want it to happen But if they get swept

They have to go 0-16 Those sweeps They really don't even count Because of what I explained about. It was PKN. Can you tell everybody? They probably don't know. Basically, the first established expansion franchise other than the original six NHL

teams that have been around for a long time was St. Louis. That was the first team they established. Then they added the five other ones and everything. Then they had that first season, and they put all six expansion teams in one division or in one conference all six original six teams in other conference so that it basically ensured that one new team would make it to the stanley cup final every year to try and goad new people into following these teams and as it turned out is of the expansion teams which were not very good the st louis blues were the only one that were semi-competitive.

And so they dominated 68, 69, and 70, the inaugural first three years, made it to the Stanley Cup every time. And then they go up against Montreal the first two times, which is a death sentence to go up against Montreal in the late 60s. And then you go up against Boston the third time, which is a death sentence to come up against them in 1970, especially as a burgeoning team. And so like the way I'm seeing it,

people being like, Oh, the blues have gone on 12. Like you can't count championships from that far back. So in my head, this is the first time that they've earned their way actually to the Stanley cup final. But if you're going for the funny,

it's kind of funny that they're Oh, and 12. Oh yeah. If you're going for funny, that is better. But like, like it's same with like Montrealreal fans who'd be like we all won a 26 stanley cup and we are the best franchise of all time and it's like no you're not you were you were you were winning stanley cups when the goalie was like ah good win all right gotta get to the bakery

for my shift yeah like like you weren't like you won stanley cups in 1918 no one gives a shit it doesn't count the montreal millionaires won a stanley cup in 1898 go fuck yourself you were running around on cleats yeah and so the the best part about it well the best part about it is that the blues are going to the stanley cup i'm super stoked on that i don't expect us to win versus the bruins uh not because our team is worse or anything. The teams match up very well. They have a stronger top line than us, but if you look at the forward depth,

our forward depth is superior to theirs, meaning our third line will outdo their third line. Our fourth line will outdo their fourth line. But their top line's better. The big X factor in this is Tuka Rask, who is their goaltender, some Finnish fuck. They have notoriously difficult names, T-U-U-K-K-A. And that guy is playing out of his fucking mind.

And so if Tuka Rask continues to play the way he has been, I think we are in deep shit. But the thing that you need to remember is the Carolina Hurricanes totally fell apart in that series didn't get very many good looks whatsoever because justin williams mr game seven apparently isn't mr games one two three or four like he was really fucking he fucked up a lot of opportunities for carolina by getting penalties that were needless and that's not something a captain should be doing going up against columbus in the second round that is not a that's a hard-hitting

team almost as hard-hitting team, almost as hard-hitting as the Blues, but they're not a hot-firing team. They don't have a four check. They don't have a cycle that runs as efficiently as what the Blues have, and Boston got paired up with them. They got paired up in the first round with Toronto, a tremendously, phenomenally skilled team as far as speed, their ability to create plays and breakouts. Super skilled. Toronto is going to be a force for years to come because of how good their lineup is but and i've seen toronto fans say this too they're like jesus fucking christ we need some toughness in our lineup because in the playoffs

we're getting the shit beat out of us and you know toronto uh one of their chief complaints when i'd go to their subreddit when they were playing the bruins just to like peek in was they're like god damn it like look right here one of our forwards not you just go and let me model and you believe you me I would do it until you guys came back but uh Toronto you can't pay them to hit you and so the Bruins have the advantage of going in having played fewer games and not getting beaten up on nearly as hard whereas if there is a team that's heavier hitting than the blues in the NHL, it's the Winnipeg Jets.

And we played them in the first round. And then you play the Stars and you go to seven games. That's exhausting. You play the Sharks. It goes to six games. Not quite as exhausting because after that hand pass call in game three that handed game three to the Sharks, the blues were furious and they dominated the rest of the series. I think the goals per team

after that call in game three were going forward. It was 14 goals for St. Louis and two for the Sharks, like from all the subsequent games. And so I couldn't be happier going to the Stanley Cup. I don't think if I had to like if I were putting my money on it and i wanted to win i would say uh bruins and six would be my guess because i've watched some some highlights and play of tukor ask their goaltender and like he's he's just lights out like he's i i unless he comes he falls off a cliff a little bit and goes back to normal that that guy is just a a slayer right now so but anyway regardless to say thank you to everybody in the tweeting me nice things and making nice posts about it and saying you started following the blues because of me you know it's a goddamn shame i'm not a fucking chicago fan or a team with any legacy of history that you look back

kindly on but uh thanks for jumping on the, the, the perennial loser wagon. So there we go. Did you have any, no, Kyle, do you have any questions about the Stanley cup playoffs or the finals or anything? No. All right.

What's your, what's your pick for the final? I said that if I'm being a hundred percent realistic, I I'm hoping for the blues and six being realistic. I'm being 100% realistic, I'm hoping for the Blues in six, being realistic, I'm thinking Bruins in seven, maybe six if Rask really steps up. Yeah, they're going to sweep you guys. Yeah.

I don't think so. I don't know. Tarasenko is going to score quite a bit and take the playoff scoring lead from, no, I think Crosby has the most postseason goals and take the playoff scoring lead from... No, I guess Crosby has the most postseason goals of active players right now,

and Tarasenko is like second, maybe? I saw it on our hockey. Oh, no, Ovechkin's number one, yeah. Oh, is he? And then Tarasenko's up there like number two or three. Yeah, so he's going to increase his... I remember he was only like five goals behind. I'm like, he could do this.

This is a real thing. And in like 20 fewer playoff games. And that whole list. That's true. Like four of the five of them are Russian. Like I don't know what they're serving in Russia. So Tarasenko is going to do very well these playoffs. I have St. Louis winning.

And yeah, unless of course they stick the Hurricanes in there because that would be more fair. I would love if like something happened and it's like, well, measles broke out because Zdeno Charo, the captain of the Boston Bruins, is an anti-vaxxer. And so this year's Stanley Cup final will be played between the St. Louis Blues and the Carolina

Hurricanes, who are currently drunk on a beach playing golf right now. I like that they're playing golf and on the beach in this story. We just doubled it up. I couldn't be happier about it. In my head, it still hasn't sunk

in really because I followed this sport for late 2000s. I didn't follow it as much because that was our dark age of sadness when we were just so bad and the ownership was actively trying to sell us off. There's no reason because there's no competitive spirit. We actually have a chance to win the Stanley Cup.

That's never fucking happened for us. This whole city is fucking booming over it. There's signs everywhere. Everybody's freaking the fuck out. Philly does that too. People don't know the Midwest is a very big hockey area. I guess people do know that because of Minnesota. But Missouri is one of the biggest youth programs in the country as far as the amount of hockey played here and so like everybody is so stoked on it i haven't heard anybody mention the cardinals in like four days

which is a world record so yeah there was i'm just rambling but i'm super excited to see them doing so well and in the stanley cup finals a long time ago, the Phillies were in the, I can't think of the name of their last championship, the pennant, what was baseball? Yeah. The world series. Well,

I forgot that. Yeah. So, so Philadelphia is in the world series. They ended up losing, but I'm in my parking lot. I'm in a parking lot before class listening to a game. And I'm like listening,

listening, listening, listening. The game ends or like a breaking point happens and like 16 of us all get out of our cars at the same time we were all listening to the game we all left at the same stopping point it's like this city is alive with interest in this sports team yeah it was kind of neat they dress like william pan or something like this it was like a very tall statue on top of one of the taller buildings. They put a uniform on him.

It's a cool thing. And I can just imagine that there's an electricity. Everyone cares about the blues over there. That's a neat thing. That's cool. That's cool. It's really cool. I hope the Thrashers come back to Atlanta or they make a new team right out.

Well, I guess two years from now they're adding Seattle, whatever their team name is going to be. But after that, I hope they come back to Atlanta so that Kyle can pretend to be interested if they're good. Is it time for a new topic? Because I have a wish. Yes. We can go to something else.

Are you ready for mine? This is a man who doesn't poop properly. No, no, he doesn't. Maybe you've seen this one. I don't know this clip. Oh oh it's magic um i just need one second to sort of i don't think he's trolling either i don't think he's trolling either um this video is called lord help this man in his poop process taylor if you can hang in there i'm just uh you know a tape left so i have to. Yeah, I think this is from a podcast called

The Bully and the Beast. I don't know which one's the bully and which one's the beast. It could go either way. Maybe he's the... Well, she probably doesn't want to be the beast. Most women don't like that. See, that was the joke. Are you guys ready?

Me analyzing the joke was an additional joke. Ready, set, play. just like we all touch shit before i've never shitted in a tissue but you shit you touch shit every single day if you shit like you don't wipe yourself it got shit in the tissue when you wipe yourself you don't know how to get it why are you touching the shit the tissue is for the shit that's what i'm saying you you grab shit no no no you're not saying that you don't yeah you wipe and you grab the shit You telling me that y'all just let the doodle fall in the toilet y'all don't catch it every time I Must've seen this What are you talking about I'm my stuff I just sit there shit right come right out

Yo you shitting your hand bro With tissue This is worse than I thought Why would you Why would you Move into your hand With the shit And then place it in the water Place the shit in the water.

Place the shit in the water, Taylor? Are you telling me you just let it fall? Taylor, you don't put it in the water. That's what that storage tank's for behind you. I'll say, and you just shit right in the water? Dude, that is one of the funniest fucking things I've ever seen in my entire life. That big guy must make some healthy poops. He got caught wiping his ass wrong after, what, like I was 35 or something? He's catching it.

He must reach down in between his legs, catch the poop, inspect it, and then drop it in. Man, that is so good why didn't that dumb bitch be like yeah of course i i don't wipe either i catch i catch and then yeah you're saying the shit just fall out your ass you just you don't let it just drop in the water Like have you ever seen an animal Reach back and catch their shit Like what was he I have seen a monkey throw it maybe

I have This guy's not throwing it though He didn't even say he was inspecting it He's just pooping in tissues And then Tilting his hand down and letting it fall Into the water. I think he briefly mentioned something about looking at it first.

Like I think he, he looks at it and you know, just checks out what he's got going on and lets it go. I didn't catch that. I don't know what he's doing with this shit. I'd have loved to have him say that on this show. Cause we'd have gotten to the bottom of this. So he was in friendly territory.

We would have had, that would have been perfect because at least two of us would have pretended to be like one of us would have pretended to be like on board with him you know i if he ever does come on the show i volunteer for that to try and egg him on and then you guys can be inquisitive but inquisitive in this sort of way where you think he might be on to a better way of wiping. No,

no, I think it should be three V one. I'll be the one idiot who doesn't realize he's weird because he lets it fall right in the toilet. I shit in a, in a garbage can and then up, turn it into the toilet. Why do you think it's there?

What a funny, so funny. It's like first, like indignant statement where he's like, what do you think it's there? What a funny, so funny. It's like first, like indignant statement where he's like, what do you mean? You get poop on your hand every day. If you poop every day, it's like,

no, no, it's actually, if you do get poop on your hand, it's like a, Oh gross. Yeah. Something went wrong.

Yeah. Yeah. So that is a hilarious clip. That is Lord help this man and his poop process. I want to re-listen to that. And I'm going to add that to my favorites. Is that your cool guy of the week? So far, yeah.

This is the cool, PKA's cool guy of the week. For, you know what? When society comes at you saying what you're doing is wrong, what you're doing is wrong, there's cool guy of the week. For, you know what? When society comes at you saying, what you're doing is wrong, what you're doing is wrong, there's a better way to wipe. And you say, no, I'm a catcher. That's cool. That shows a distinct lack of care

for social norms as well as hygiene. And you just, you do you, man. I'm all in favor of the beast or the bully whichever one he is i have a different time hold on oh i need to allow is there any more clips about this guy no i guess i could only wish um this one is a local issue to me and And I bet a lot of people have seen it because it's on Route 40. So there is an RV place around me and they have a massive American flag. It's huge.

I think it's 3,200 square feet, which is like bigger than you're thinking. Imagine a floor plan of a single family house with 3,200 square feet. It is huge. 80 foot by 40 foot. That's enormous. Oh, yeah.

And it's bigger. They say this flag is 1,000 square feet larger than Starbucks is. And every time you see it, you know this place. They sell RVs. It's kind of like an advertisement, but it's an American flag. but it's an American flag. So the North Carolina town city, whatever that they're in is saying that this thing is twice as large as they allow signage to be and that they need to take down this flag.

I hear you. I hear you. And like, I don't know where to land on this thing because part of me says, yeah, it's advertising. That's what they've done. They've taken the American flag.

They made it their thing. It is ginormous. And oh've done they've taken the american flag they made it their thing it is ginormous and oh yeah when i think the american flag i think that rv park off route 40 they're synonymous interstate 40 yeah yeah is this something where they've said this is an advertising thing for us or is that the grounds on which it's being attacked saying they are using that's the ground the grounds on which they're being attacked is like this that you've made a landmark out of this flag and it is it's bigger than you're imagining it's ginormous and they're like look you've using this to make your rv parking lot a landmark and and they have they're coming back saying you know no i'm just a very proud american and i want the world's largest flag at my storefront yeah that's pretty cool you should

be allowed to do that if you want to have a big ass flag yeah i think so too it's not like they're in a hoa or something like that and i would say this about any flag if they had the state flag of north carolina hell if they had a conf a Confederate flag, any flag that they want, they should be able to fly like that. When I drive to Florida on I-90, there is a gargantuan Confederate flag off the interstate. Now, I'm not a fan, but I'm not going to be like, I can't make them take their flag down. That's their property. That's their flag. It's not like it says anything you know that that you're not allowed to display it's a fucking flag and yeah and and certainly not the american flag

like like if if they had it 10 times that big if that flag was until it starts interfering with air traffic or blocking out the sun keep make it bigger. I thought it was one of those big white and black ISIS flags. That would be pretty funny. We play the... Mitty has the ISIS music on his soundboard and when we're raiding people,

we play that music. They're in their base and we're throwing explosives on their wall. Have you seen the ISIS propaganda videos to try and get people to join? Where it's fucking ISIS members storming cities with guns and they've got dubstep club music behind it and they're panda hot girls dancing. And it's like, man, they're really trying to lobby

for a cool kid segment of ISIS. I don't hear shit about ISIS anymore. They must be doing poorly. I think they are doing poorly. We're in between waves. We had Al-Qaeda. We had ISIS. We're waiting for the next one.

Well, they just did that huge Easter attack, right? And killed hundreds and hundreds of people in Bangladesh. Oh, okay. You're right. Yeah, that's the thing. No, no. I think it was Sri Lanka. Yes, it was Sri Lanka, I think.

Where's Sri Lanka? It's off India. It's like a giant island. Which would make it very close to Bangladesh, too. Okay. Oh, yeah. That's why I said Bangladesh. I was giving you an out there.

Oh, yeah. My geographical knowledge was a little off there. I accidentally got a couple clicks north. I had Chernobyl off by about 2,000 miles earlier in the show. Oh, if you would have asked me where's Chernobyl in Russia, I'd be like in the cold part. Yeah, because he said that they couldn't have mushrooms in Sweden. I was like, how close is it?

And by the way, the jet stream goes the other way. So it was interesting to me that he was impacted Sweden it's like how close is it and and by the way the jet stream goes the other way like so it was interesting to me that he was impacted because the jet stream would make it go all the way like around the whole world almost but uh I guess what do I know that would have been quibble cop in in post Chernobyl Sweden he's like and then they tell me that I can't eat the mushrooms and so I have uh in a few days I find I'm able to move the chess pieces with my mind i don't see why i'm not supposed to eat they fear my power

i saw a preview there's this movie coming out um about a world where superheroes exist and it takes place in a superhero retirement home so they're all like in their 80s and 90s like one of them farts fire like like like they're all like they've got alzheimer's and stuff like like they're they're really over the hill they go to like a superhero convention and like nobody shows up and like their fangirls are in their 70s oh i love you and they're getting signatures and stuff and it's real depressing and that but then some shit pops off right and the old-timer superheroes have to gear back up and you know they're squeezing into their uniforms their latex yeah it's laser eye time and stuff like that it

looked it looked pretty fun uh it reminded me it reminded me a little bit of mystery men uh from back in the day i have a horrible topic i'm perfect i have one too can i oh yeah i have an ama question i was just going through the ama questions and uh as always they're just all every one of them is great oh but uh but uh but this one uh stuck out at me you have to suck wings of redemption's toes for five minutes again but you're allowed again yes but you're allowed, again, yes. But you're allowed to put one condiment on there to help. Ooh. To help out the taste of these

toesy-woosies. What condiment do you choose? I've already got mine. I'm picking mustard. Alright? I remember when I was in elementary school. Ghost pepper sauce. Yeah, that might not be a good idea. I remember in elementary school we read this book called How to Eat a Worm or something like that.

The premise was these kids had a bet and one of them lost it and he had to eat 62 worms and he was going to win the bet. He was coming up with ways. How to Eat Fried Worms, I think is what it's called. I know that exact book. I read that too. Yeah. He's coming up with different ways to eat these worms to make

them palatable. I remember as a kid being like, mustard. Fucking mustard makes everything taste like mustard. I have my own idea for Wings of Redemption's toes. Some of you might try to argue that rubbing alcohol is not a condiment. But that's what I like on my sandwiches. And I will put it on his toes. A little bit of 70% isopropyl. Right on top of the peas. Just like a mama used to make. sandwiches and i will put it on his toes a little bit of 70 isopropyl mario where is my isopropyl alcohol pizza and your friends at those i bet if you poured hydrogen peroxide all over them they just foam up that popped into my mind too yeah i was like here

my here my rationale for ghost pepper sauce is too extreme because that's going to be more painful than probably even the sucking something like tabasco where you really douse it in there i see that as basically like burning and singeing your taste buds and everything to the point where nothing can get through you can't taste anything that's potentially nasty that you would taste sucking on a toe. It's just heat. And that would also make you salivate a ton. And so you could take a little solace in the fact that like,

okay, like at least a lot, most of this is like dripping out of my mouth and I'm not ingesting it. And so I think hot sauce is the way to go. I'm sticking with mustard. I think rubbing alcohol is the best idea on this list i think certainly not like mayo or ranch no mayo popped into my head and i'm like this is the worst idea it's all greasy and white oh yeah i think i think you could like because you can really get mustard on there thick right like like it's it's viscous and like alcohol which i i know

where you're going with the alcohol i agree i'd like to start with alcohol if i could and then move on to some spicy yellow mustard uh a little brake cleaner you know because it evaporates afterwards yeah yeah brake cleaner is a great like solvent it's magic yeah i've whenever i've gotten like uh like stuff on like grease and stuff on my hands or like paint it's time to get out the brake cleaner but i hate it strips all the oil out of your hand and i'm a pussy so it makes me like really i'm like my hands are too dry i gotta i can't take it but yeah i put mustard on wings toesy woes and i'd suck them clean there wasn't a prize there wasn't a prize in this ama question which really upset me like i wish he'd rephrased it to like You gotta suck Wings of Redemption's toes You get a quarter million dollars And you get to add a sauce

Well how about some Zaxby's sauce That seems fitting right You ever had Zaxby's sauce Oh wait Red Hot You don't need Red Hot Because I suspect there's a little bit coming out of the pores In the first place Thinking ahead

You've got a Zaxby's near you but you've never been i think i've seen one before maybe it was on a road trip like i yeah my go-to chicken place like i'm getting fried chicken i like uh churches number one and then number two probably honestly i like popeyes more than kfc or yeah i don't like any of them i like kfc gravy leaves leaves sucks canes canes not very good canes is like they still fry the chicken in fucking uh peanut oil and so it tastes very similar to chick-fil-a but i i don't want chicken fingers i'm an adult i always want chicken i want the chicken part and like you get like a drumstick or something like that there's a half inch of whatever that skin crusty it doesn't it's just not the chicken though it is the skin i it's all of these places take the tiniest little food triple its size with their

cooking process and it's it's not the meal i'm looking for that's fried chicken i i like fried chicken a lot um i get uh i get i interest you in some george foreman chicken absolutely absolutely not um but but yeah zaxby's is chicken fingers and wings uh they don't do like bone-on chicken or are they the wings if you can't wings but they don't do like drumsticks thighs breasts and shit like that but uh but zaxby's has some really good sauces and stuff and their salads are great i got that's what i'm eating later i gotta get one of those things in the fridge they're tasty but yeah a little zach sauce maybe it's this orange sort of spicy it's probably like mayo ketchup and some spices honestly but it's real good pretty much every sauce they have in fast food is mayo ketchup

and something else yeah yeah it's the relish and paprika it's the mcdonald's thing right it's like a little thousand island maybe is part of the thing yeah the big mac sauce i love big mac sauce the big mac is my favorite burgers it just needs more meat on it i love the big mac sauce though i found it to be too much uh bread i had a big mac way too much bread that's why the Whopper beats out the Big Mac because the Whopper at least has a more appropriate meat to bread ratio. Whereas the Big Mac is just

eating a loaf of bread with shitty ass vegetables. I've never had a Grand Mac. For a limited time, McDonald's had three Macs. They had the Little Mac, L-I-L apostrophe. They had the Big Mac. It's great that we have a gourmet on staff here

who can explain the McDonald's menu It's great how we cover each other's blind spots in a lot of good ways and this is one of the I got you I got you here They had the Little Mac and they made a reference to It's Always Sunny There was a meme, it was like Little Mac

Big Mac and Grand Mac as he got fatter and stuff like that. But the Little Mac was quite small, as you might imagine. I'd get a couple of those. You could eat a couple of them. The Big Mac we are all familiar with. But then the Grand Mac was a big fucking Big Mac. And that thing was the best. That thing was the bee's knees. I was a big fan. The cat's pajamas. It was good shit. I missed the Grand Mac. I usually don't like those like special limited time sandwiches because they get like stupid. I've never had a McRib and I never will have a McRib. Explain

to me why it's shaped like a rack of ribs but there's no fucking bones in it. No thank you. That's a pink paste they put in a mold and go and now it's shaped like a rack of ribs but there's no fucking bones in it no thank you that's a pink paste they put in a mold and go and now it's shaped like a rack of ribs no fucking thank you i don't want your pink pork paste not even i don't need to nuggets either mcribs are horrible i've had one ever because uh a fat friend of mine was raving about it. And I don't know why I took him seriously about his fast food recommendations. He loved all of it. And so like I tried,

don't you like it? Yeah. What do you hate? The salad. But like, it's just, it's exactly what you said. You take a bite into it and you pull off and it's like

it's it's not a pink it's like a gray almost where it's it's like what the fuck am i eating this is at least 30 sawdust here yeah and all it is is it is doused with an inappropriate amount of barbecue sauce like i don't even when i eat barbecue, I like my barbecue sauce a little more sparingly because otherwise you just taste all the sugar in the barbecue sauce and you don't get the meat taste as much. Like if anything, I want a spicy barbecue. But on the McRib, it was clear that they were trying

to pull the wool over your eyes by being like, all right, five slathers of this. And now I can still smell the pink paste. Keep painting. That level of- I like that really thin vinegary barbecue sauce it's like watery yeah that's the shit I like like if I'm meeting like a pulled pork sandwich I like I order extra cups of that vinegary like spicy fucking like barbecue sauce whatever it is what style

of barbecue is like the vine? Is that Kansas City? Ah. I know Texas is beef and the smoking and everything. A lot of brisket and sausage. St. Louis is spare ribs. I don't like St. Louis style. Oh, I love spare ribs. I had that just the other day. They have the burnt ends and stuff like that.

You don't like burnt ends? Nah, man. There's a place near me. There were two options on Postmates. One southern style which is the best and then the other was uh was fucking st louis and i was like all right let's try this st louis shit and i was like oh god i don't really even like ribs i like pulled pork and sliced well if you don't like ribs you're not gonna like st louis style barbie i mean it's fine i love ribs i'm not supposed to eat them because of my teeth but i do yeah just well you could just like cut them put the meat off i guess no it's fun to eat it off like that would be like saying oh you can still have chicken wings but you have to pull all the meat off first it's like no i

want to eat it off the bone that's how you're supposed to do it anyway you grab each end and go and the meat just kind of pops off and you've got it on the the wingettes yeah like the the the flats they're oh yeah the flats are the best ones those are better than drummies because if it's crispy it's got more skin surface area to it so it's gonna have like a better crisp a better crunch chicken skin's the best part oh yeah the south park where fucking cartman goes in he's just as they're bringing groceries and he goes in. As they're bringing groceries in, he goes in and he takes their family bucket and he just pulls the skin

off of ten pieces of chicken. He eats nothing but the skin. He's like, I got to see you tomorrow. And then he leaves and then Kenny starts going... He's crying because all the chicken skin is gone. And then that's the episode where Cartman blows out his toilet because he ate nothing the chicken skin is gone. And then that's the episode where Cartman blows out his toilet because he ate nothing but chicken skin for a little while.

Oh man, South Park used to be so much fucking funnier. It's taken the natural kind of life cycle of every funny show where they're now in the decline. In the, you gotta do your full season story arc you got to interject your little beliefs in here how about you just do one where cartman feeds these people to or feeds this kid's

parents to him you think they can just do the same show for 18 years in a row i mean not it's well but but see it's not the same though because they because in my view, they'd had an established practice of being like, okay, season one of this episode, what are we doing? Oh, Kyle's going to do this. It's going to be zany, outrageous. Cartman responds with this. Stan comes in at the end with this, and then Kenny dies. They've been doing cultural commentary since the beginning. They were making fun of Michael Jackson when he was alive, I think.

But most of their jokes are shallow. Their jokes in regard to those commentaries were kind of shallow, like a one-time zinger or a somewhat poignant point or a strong point, I guess. The whole show would be on an arc. Now they're trying to do the whole arc

where it all sticks to PC principal and their stupid shit. And it's like, dude, the PC principal thing was funny for half of one episode and you're trying to extend the same basically brand line of jokes for 10 episodes.

Not a storyline. He should be right there next to that poop towel or something. The marijuana smoking guy. Why do I think he's poop based? I don't know. That's two different characters. There's Towley and there's Mr. Hankey. That do I think he's poop-based? I don't know. That's two different characters. There's Towley and there's Mr. Hankey.

That's right. I'm mixing them. I'm conflating them. And they both sound like this. Maybe that's right. Because they ran out of voices in the middle of the show, and so they started using different ones. And so Mr. Hankey, who I'm doing now,

is just a little bit higher. And you got Towley down here, just a little bit fucked up. So they could make fun of PC. They could revisit PC principal every now and then when his, when his character was called upon instead of having him be the focus of a season or two. I couldn't agree with you more.

Yeah. He should be a minor guy and they should revolve around. One thing that they have done well in the last 10 years is make Randy Marsh a bigger, more recurring character because you can, I think it's even Matt or Trey, one of those fucks who was like, yeah,

you know, we were getting older. We started to see ourselves more as Randy than as the kids. And so we decided to make him a bigger part of the show. And that went off without a hitch. Randy is hilarious. Like I, we,

I watched an episode last night. I had it on the background where he's uh you know they're he's getting shit about drinking too much uh wine or something and he's like it's called the smorgasbord and it's classy he's like dad you're drinking a glass of wine right now he's like that's not true i'm drinking seven glasses of wine it's fine and it's classy him dropping a thing of beer into a wine, chugging it on a whistle and shaking his head around.

It's hilarious. The addition of Randy as a more recurring character is definitely a win for South Park. What I think of my funniest memories from South Park is usually Randy based. Him and the giant balls and when the internet didn't work for a while.

No, this is ghosts. This is a full-blast. Andy based him in the giant balls. And when the internet didn't work for a while, no, this is, this is ghosts. Maybe I see myself as Randy. Like, like, you know, maybe I do it with the showrunners too. I love when he's got his balls in that wheelbarrow and he's smoking weed going down the side.

Buffalo soldier stolen from Africa. His balls are literally the size of like, I don't know, they're 40 pounds each or something. What's the storyline? Is that the same one where the internet went out and that's why his balls grew? No, no.

He wants to be able to smoke medical marijuana. It was before it was recreationally legal there. And so he gives himself cancer. Jesus. He's in the backyard with like like giving himself chest x-rays while he's got an open microwave next to him running while he's got one of those reflector things like to get the sun up under your chin laying outside smoking cigarettes he's like standing like he's on a step stool next to his microwave with it running with nothing in it. And he's like, Stan, get out of here. I'm busy.

Dad, mom says to stop trying to give yourself cancer. I'm trying to give myself cancer? Goll! And he gives himself testicular cancer. Was that Napoleon Dynamite? That was Napoleon Dynamite. Yeah, there at the end. He does say Goll though, instead of God's. Goll!

He gets exacerbated. G-A-R-L or some weird... Yeah, we can switch to something else. What do you got? I had a funny topic that I linked about. It's not political at all, but it's got a politician in it. If you scroll up, you can see Republican preacher runs shocking blog post about Pete Buttigieg.

All right, I let kyle choose between that and mine uh high school students do cooking competition and slip in bodily fluids to the teachers who eat it you know they never would have caught on to those meddling kids if they hadn't went to the urine that because semen very difficult to detect in a baked good. I'm going to tell you right now. You won't detect it. You won't. I knew there was something up with those brownies you said. Which topic, Kyle?

It's more than that. I would go with, personally, I like it when teachers are fed semen because, you know. All right, there's a video to play. I'm not going to argue that. I haven't seen this video yet but uh when you mouse over it you get a little preview and i want to hear what this kid says so are you guys ready one sec ohio students accused of selling crepes laced with bodily fluids is it selling um it is

that's what it says yeah yeah they had a bake sale i'm trying to get past their fucking ad block the food which includes crepes was being served to teachers acting as judges for a cooking competition as part of a global gourmet class. And they believe that it was tainted with urine and cum. I'm ready to go. All right. Ready, set, play. Oh, I have an ad. Okay, we'll wait.

Yeah, yeah. I love this kid's reaction. It was basically our reaction. Alright, sorry about the ad, everyone. I couldn't avoid it. It was gross. Some people said it was kind of funny. Wait, are we playing now?

Yeah, oh, you didn't start? Alright, wait, wait, wait. I'll rewind. Wait, are we playing? Yeah. Oh, you didn't start. All right. Wait, wait, wait. I'll rewind. The kid ran out of the gate. Yeah, yeah. I'm at zero. Ready, set, play.

Some people said it was kind of funny. The reactions were mixed. Sixth, seventh, and eighth graders. 14-year-old Mason Lambert knows the subject matter of a school prank by some of his classmates is no laughing matter. AMBERT KNOWS THE SUBJECT MATTER OF A SCHOOL PRANK BY SOME OF HIS CLASSMATES IS NO LAUGHING MATTER. It's just not our age appropriate thing to talk about this. We're a little too young for that. Ditto for staff of Olentangy Hyatt's middle school. The teacher is taking it all really seriously.

There's no joking around with it. And the Delaware County Sheriff's Office, where investigators are looking into the actions of a handful of middle schoolers accused of tainting crepes they were learning to make last thursday in the home ec class global gourmet before feeding them to a handful of teachers someone put something in food that was like body fluid wise and a teacher ate it like the adults mason says i just think it's kind of gross i don't even know why you're just saying what he wants to hear the district isn't saying much opting to release this written statement reading quote the safety and security of our students and staff is of utmost importance district leadership

and local law enforcement are conducting a thorough investigation into this incident and anyone found in violation of school policies will be held accountable for their actions we are also focusing our efforts to support the teachers impacted by this incident poor miss chokes on dicks there was a south park episode just like this right and and then uh um mr uh uh who's the oh where they put the the the sea people in the car? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, but there was semen in it, too Because they went and got the semen from that homeless guy I remember Cartman sucked it that he had Cartman closed his eyes and then suck on that hose To get the semen out now did it's free just go into an alley guy says it to you sucks out of the hoods Yeah, but but um, mr. One of the teachers. Who's the gay teacher?

Mr. Mackey. No, Mr. Garrison. Mr. Garrison said he tasted and he goes, yep, that's definitely semen. Presumably one of these teachers ate the crepe and was like that's jizz.

That's jizz, folks.izz folks five who came in this five school staffers likely ate the food that investigators believe was tainted by the students with semen and urine a sheriff's office spokeswoman said i wonder what's true because like the urine thing is easy to produce right but? But they're cooking this, right? In my head, I'm picturing like home ec class, and there's like a bowl of crepe that they're stirring with the whisk, I imagine. And like it's easy to spit in there. It's slightly less easy to pee in there.

It's pretty difficult to jack off in there, right? You go to the bathroom. You come into some sort of vessel. you bring it back, stir it in. That's how I'd do it. If I were to be a cum bandit sneaking my stuff into crepes, I would use the Kyle method. That is a much better idea than me in front of 18 fellow classmates trying to get off by the kitchen counter in home ec class. It's just you standing over there, one arm shaking. You're like, bam!

Bam! Secret ingredient. He's just really into it. He's not adding any ingredients. You just wait. He spurts into adding a certain ingredient. It's simultaneously awful and kind of funny.

Yeah, right? It's funny, but it's also horrific to like feed someone your cum and piss but it's a pre-cook right like i'm imagining that like look raw urine i'm on team taylor there but if they're gonna bake it well what makes it so much grosser than an egg you want some you want to eat some dude's baked cum well we're not talking about me here yeah but like like all sorts of if kyle and i took a couple days and collected our collective loads in a bowl until we had the equivalent amount of what you would need in eggs to make your fucking brownie mix and then we sent that to you, you would show up at our homes with a gun. I would not be like, ah, it was baked.

Only because we've been brainwashed into thinking that this part of a person is so much yuckier than that part of a chicken. Now, people seem to believe that drink and cum is first of all gross, second of all gay. It is neither of those things. I have my neck thickening salve, my face reddening agent, and then I have the cum of five Cambodian boys who I have make it for me.

They live in my basement. It's legal. Don't ask questions. As if the Democrats could ask questions about illegal use of immigrants. And then you would go on to something else. Now, you, CEO of starbucks you're going to use them to make your lattes but me harvesting the semen of five cambodian boys independently to improve my health is inappropriate but it jones was on a show the other day injecting b12 into

himself now first of all i got a problem with that i know that's hilarious i had a nurse friend she injected me with b12 one time it was great really it was yeah yeah she's like i got some you want some i'm like yeah why was it great what did it do lots of energy lots of energy you felt good just felt good and not in like a like a like a jittery kind of caffeine way but like a natural like like you like it woke up on the right side of the bed and you're ready for a good day but you're not hyped up you're just like man i'd like to go do some stuff just you feel good he's like we could do that all the time with no negative effects you absolutely can't without having to inject it you can buy well this is the funny part alex is injecting it it's his b12 substance that he sells he's like now now now

we're not allowed to sell this as an injectable. So don't inject it. I'm gonna inject it. He doesn't have the licensing to sell what he's selling as an injectable. But I'm gonna inject it. Dude, he's coming real close to being the new cool guy of the week here. You're not allowed

to inject this, but well, they already booted me off of pretty much all social media. And it's only a matter of time until the hosting company that allows me to keep my site decides to take it down. So fuck you. I'm taking my pill. Yeah. He fucking,

he's shooting up the B12. Um, but, but yeah, I, it, I had no issue with it, frankly,

like of all the witch doctory bullshit he sells, he was also selling deep earth crystal iodine or something like that. You know? And I was like, you keep your, you keep your deep earth crystals, but I might want to shoot some of that B12. That might,

you might be onto something here. Cause like when she did it for me, it was one of the tiny, tiny needles. Like we've all seen the different gauges of needles. Like you get an IV in your hand. It's they're like, they pull up that big honking needle

that looks like you could knit with the motherfucker. And you're like, God damn, that's not going to feel good. But sometimes if you're getting a vaccine or something, it's this little baby needle and you don't even feel it. And it was that needle. And it was intermuscular. It wasn't going in a vein, which there's a big difference for me

if I'm getting a shot between intermuscular shots and going in the vein. Really? Which one do you prefer? Intermuscular. For sure. You get more soreness from it. Yeah, I'm with Taylor. The intermuscular one makes you... You don't think it was subcutaneous, do you?

That's the easy one. I'm definitely talking about intermuscular because it went right in my ass. A little bit of soreness. It wasn't that bad. It wasn't a big deal. I've never had intermuscular shots as a routine like what would happen if you got something in your butt every week or twice a week they go to a different cheek for sure that's what i only got two i only got two yeah well i only needed two shots i got other stuff though like can you hit

a deltoid you know can can like what else can? Yeah. I think the buttocks is the largest muscle in the body. And it doesn't hurt. There's not a lot of nerve endings there, right? Like if hypothetically your palm had a good muscle, it would still suck. Yeah. Yeah.

No doubt. Probably so. But, but yeah, I, I gotta say, I don't, I don't feel much for these teachers who had to eat cum and piss.

First of all, if I'm a teacher and some middle school teacher, kids are cooking me some food. No, thank you children. Um, no way you didn't spit in this shit and you know, they spit in it too.

You know, they spit into it. If they're pissing, that's a given. Yeah. Like, like, like,

like Bill and Joe, Bill pissed in it. Joe, Joe came in it and they're getting the billing, but Todd spitting that shit and nobody's saying anything. Cause it and they're getting the billing but todd's spitting that shit and nobody's saying anything because it doesn't even make the get on the radar it's there's no way that somebody else didn't spin in it i i wish it was girls i don't know why you guys didn't get on board with the cum is only gross because we a social construct. Thank you, Taylor.

That would be so funny. Cum is a social construct. Welcome to the history of cum. Thanks for paying $40,000 a year to be here. No, I don't think it's a social construct. No, it's not a social construct. You don't think? I think it's jizz.

And I don't want the i wouldn't want it cooked into my food you know that just seems so gross i saw a gross girl i know where you're going with this yeah i don't know what is the lube called that they i guess the mucus or something but she took that and used it as an ingredient in her cooking oh i wasn't going to say that i was going to talk about the girl who made the period blood pancakes. Oh, no. No, mine's different. Yeah, and you could see her cook it.

Like, she had a fair amount of her girl cream, whatever. And, yeah, and it boiled up into what looked like straight lines of boogers or something. God damn it. That's gross as shit. There's so many. It's a social construct kyle what's objectively grosser about that than chicken meat i'd rather lick a chernobyl victim's fucking

chest than than than eat her pussy lube booger paste i mean you eat all other sorts of things i would guess you've tasted that raw yeah in the context of the kitchen cooked it's yuckier it absolutely is if you're like getting it out and like like like getting a bunch of it together like accumulating enough to even cook like like good god that's fucking gross i don't even you know we talk about the subreddits that when we you see not safe for work and then there's some of you just go nope like like the ones for me are like labia gone wild get the fuck out of here with your nasty pussy and uh and the other one is gruel i don't want to see your fucking grueling pussy either that's the that's the substance by the way it's gruel yes that is the word i've been hunting for yeah that's the reddit that you said

you hate yeah he doesn't like Gruul. I'm not similarly turned off by Gruul. I saw a new one today to me. Reality Dick. Have you ever seen this? This is porn with normal-sized dicks. Damn it, I wanted to guess what it was. I'm so sorry.

I'll keep that in mind. This could be a show. This could be a silly this could be like a silly detective spin-off uh like no it's just about penises yeah that's it uh do we want to do was it taylor's topic now yeah oh it was just a it it's uh pete buddha judge buddha judge whatever it is is, and he's running for president, obviously, and he's gay. And a pastor somewhere who's like a far Christian, very, very Christian pastor was asking him things like, Now we know he's gay, but how gay is he? How many dicks is this feller sucking?

Is he fisting other man's asses now i know my congregation here isn't familiar with that term and my god as god is my witness i wasn't until this feller run but he's putting your whole hand into another feller's rear end now you all right with that now do you know that 85 percent of these people do illegal drugs? 90. I'm looking at it. 90%? I'm literally making it up right now. It's right on there. Do you know that over 90% of these people use illegal drugs?

Do you know that almost a quarter of them have HIV? 70% have an STD. 70% have an STD. Do you know these things? And you want this man who is not just, and let me stress, he is not regular gay. This is a very gay man. He is tremendously gay. He said that 23% of homosexuals participate in golden showers.

Now, and that was my own personal lowest. Can I just step in here and say that when someone comes at you with an odd-numbered percentage like that, I am much more credibility yeah more credibility if he had said 75 which is you know three quarters for the uninitiated i have been like okay but when he says that to me that 23 of gay men we We surveyed 100 queers and 23 do they? Is that true? What percentage of gay men participate in golden showers? Google says!

I know that there is a higher STD rate in the gay male community because they have way more partners than straight guys do generally. That naturally proliferates those things. It's also because of the propensity for anal sex. Oh, anal.

Yeah, anal's got a lot of germs. I think that there's more likely to be a fluid exchange because the receiver can be torn, and then the blood goes through the pee hole, and that's a thing. That makes a lot of sense. Much more sense than what I said. No, no, Woody. No, it it's because i heard it on the radio no anyway no it's because it's an anal cut was it was it pastor fag haters i want to say it was dan savage from the savage love cast but go ahead why are you saying it's just because the cum goes in the butt

and then goes in the hole that's been torn inside the butt. There's definitely no blood going out of the butt up the pee hole. Why does it even have to go in the hole that gets torn in the butt? Although that does make a lot of sense. I thought that you were saying because that's how it gets in the bloodstream. Doesn't the things in the butt absorb on the walls anyway?

That's kind of what's happening. Yeah, that's why you can drink booze through your asshole. So basically, you're getting pounded. Science, getting you're getting the difference between alcohol in your ass and hiv creates hiv yeah and your asshole and then look i'm going on the line here and saying that you will not contract hiv if you have a hearty asshole all right if you're if you have to you Uganda our assholes are so powerful they cannot even absorb HIV and if they do all you need to do is find a a virgin a virgin or you can even find an albino man that will not help your age but you will find a gold inside I love the gold that's inside of these white people dude there has got to be

no worse group of people to be a member of on earth than albino africans because i feel like they are getting shit on hard i was right though the insertive partner is also at risk for getting hiv during anal sex hiv may enter the top partner's body through the opening of the tip of the penis or urethra through small cuts, scratches, or open sores in the penis. Dude, if you're getting cuts in your cock while you're fucking, there's a problem. It says or through small cuts, scratches, and it is. It did mention elsewhere in here that you're 13 times more likely to get it as a receiver than through the tip of the penis. But that is a thing. Yeah, yeah.

I believe it's definitely a thing. I just think it's like 3% of HIV is coming from that. Whatever 13 times less is. It's incalculable. Incalculable. It's just impossible to come up with these numbers. Regardless, I got such a kick and was laughing to myself about the fact that this pastor was seriously proposing. How gay is he? On a scale of 9 to 10.

We must really be bigots then. We had this exact conversation two weeks ago. That's a goof. Of course it's a goof. The pastor's being serious. After this, he's selling. He's not joking. No course it's a goof. The pastor's being serious. After this, he's selling. He's not joking. No, he's not joking around.

He does not do a comedy hour. Now, I'm going to be at the Funny Hut Sunday night from 8 to 10. There was another, I don't know if he, I think he was a pastor too, but someone else wrote a blog article or something accusing him of having sex with boys. And on the left, when we get freaks like that, I'm putting we like I'm on the left, but people say that. Anyway, it's like, oh, no, you shut up. You make us all look so stupid and so bad.

Like, we don't want you on this team, you Antifa flag waving whatever problem child blue haired screaming at your professor asshole like just leave don't don't be that the right must think that about this guy i hope um the christian guy or i don't know he's coming in hot for a cool guy of the week counterpoint yeah touche yeah that's it yeah you know nobody wants this guy on there or no that's not true because like his probably probably agreed with this right yeah it's not like the building cleared out after he got like like he made it all the way through that speech there were clearly people still there listening i want to go to this guy's sermons and be like someone who goes to like a well-known comedian special, I'll be like, do the gay one!

Do the gay one! This is about the Beatitudes, Matthew 5, if you turn that... No, this isn't funny. Do the gay one! This is your first week at this church. Are you even a believer? I won't be until you do the gay one. I want to be on his team and get him to agree. Like, it's okay to be, like, a little gay, right?

Just some cock now and... Small cocks, right? Yeah. Come on. Reality. Our reality, Dick. Are you familiar? Our reality, Dick.

That is so fucking funny. Of course, like, it would be... I feel like you'd be hard pressed to find a community of anyone that isn't present on Reddit somewhere. Is there any group of people with any interest in the world that isn't on Reddit?

Arian Foster apparently. I was so surprised that he was like, so what is Reddit? I was like, shit Arian, where have you been? And then you say, oh it's a news aggregator site like people know what that means but arian's smart he might get it aggregator yeah but like reddit sucks now like i feel like all the funny shit i used to see isn't isn't there as much come on there's plenty of good shit that's like when you guys say no there's nothing good on netflix

there's so much good on netflix that is true because you spend a lot more time delving around netflix and i would assume that that is exponentially more so about reddit because like when i go to reddit i never go to the front page and i'm like what's happening i just i go direct my shortcut is directly to the hockey reddit see how could you talk about reddit when you're going straight to our h in h what are they and our uh nature is metal and our nature is fucking lit and then uh i uh there was one really funny one that someone linked me uh on twitter about confessions jack off confessions i read a couple of those today someone sent me that that on Twitter, and that was very funny. It was people talking about inappropriate places where they beat their meat.

My link goes to RR, and my personal hit rate is lower than it ever was before. Yeah, I get on RR, and I scroll for about 50 pages. Yeah. Which is like 500 links or something like that. It's like 500 links. See, I go to the videos one every so often but so much shit now is just obvious ass astro turfed marketing campaigns go to fight porn fight porn i think you've talked about that or no you've told me about justice porn i don't know if i've seen fight porn yeah justice porn is when

they deserve it fight porn could be anything uh i'm gonna go to fight porn right now i bet we'll find something fun to watch. I don't want to watch... Is it professional fights? No! It's fights. It could be anything. It's mostly street fights, though. I'm going to subscribe to this one. This one is called, You Gon' Respect Me.

Oh! He's dead! Alright, I just watched a man die. It's all just fights.'s just it's mostly people getting beaten up in parking lots and shit here's a guy getting drug across asphalt while he picked on the wrong man oh my god this guy in the top link picked on the wrong man hang on shirt hollister wearing white guy beat the shit out of him Jesus Christ and he's you know I think he should probably let him be you know stop stop dragging him back into a fight he has no business look at this one let's

keep it zero I think it's got audio even all right this is an example of how of a guy who in medieval times would have been demons. They'd have thought demons. This is on r slash fight porn and it's called Crackhead Beating the Bricks Off an Invisible Foe. My friends all tell me they love when you read the titles before the videos so that everyone knows what's going to happen. Ready, set, play.

I like the headbutt. The headbutt's key. Please do another headbutt. What? Oh, he's got him in a guillotine. His pants are falling down, too. Oh, it's full pride rules. You see that kick? Oh, he's thinking on multiple

points. I was a little confused for a second there. Man, dude, this is a tough week for PKA's cool guy of the week. It's a weak competition. There are so many cool guys out there. See, we all laugh at this guy, but what if, just bear with me, what if

What if he's right? Interdimensional beings were attacking the earth at that moment, and this man is sort of like the John Constantine of our race. It's the Keanu Reeves character who can see the demons and he fights them in that movie, wears a shirt and tie, smokes cigarettes, fights the devil, and he is actually doing battle with interdimensional demons right there, a la Alex Jones, and he is actually doing battle with interdimensional demons right there a la alex jones and he just saved us all right there and the reason he looks so fucked up is because he fights interdimensional demons for a living it's exhausting it wears on him and he's fallen into

alcohol and drug use but he's kept up his form he's kept up his form. He had some sort of cross-collar choke going on. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. Yeah. He's got Methuselah in a twister. He's got him in a twister. Twister. I've never hit a twister.

I've had one hit on me. No one has. No. Oh. Guy rolled with did. Yeah. If people don't know what a tw it's uh you know like arm bars they bend your elbow knee bars they bend your knee a twister bend your spinal cord and uh usually you

you only hit it if you thoroughly outclass the other guy which is what he did to me yeah they're very rare in like professional fighting like because usually your opponent is not going to allow you to get a twister on them yeah but it also looks like one of those things that like oh my god it must hurt it must hurt to get your get your fucking everything torqued it's weird so like if you roll much you sort of know like your neck your arms and your legs are all vulnerable and sometimes people are doing things to you that are not a threat so you're like i can almost ignore this fucking dumb ass thing he's doing oh is he squeezing a headlock that's not a threat that's not a problem so i could perhaps get get his back while he's grabbing my

head and and advance position because he's focused on something stupid and then other times a twister pops out of nowhere because you didn't realize that there was a threat you didn't understand. What do we have here? Oh, is this about the founding father who sounded himself with the whale bones? You're muted. Sorry. Yes, you're right. I've called it. This story is about the sounding father.

Jesus Christ. He's a founding father of ours who liked to sound and it got passed off as his official reason for death he was a freak and he loved getting like love love banging chicks and he got something stuck up his urethra and so he took a whale bone and used it to sound himself which means put that up your urethra but we try and ostensibly break up the blockage that was causing problems. He caused so many problems in his own dick and wherever he stuck that thing to that he killed himself. Can you help me understand?

Because I got a little lost at the start of this. There was something up his dick prior to the whale bone. And the whale bone is there as some sort of fishing operation? See, what I think actually happened is he told people, I did this to try and get something out of my urethra. What really happened is this one of our glorious sounding fathers

decided he wanted to feel what it's like to get your urethra penetrated. And what better in this century than a whale bone? And so he used a whale bone to sneak up there. He was probably beaten off and he got out of control with it and damaged himself more than he thought pulled it out bleeding all over the place ended up dying probably of septic shock taylor i i can't tell you how much i hate this this thing you're talking about right now in the words the words that you're saying you think it's

gross that he stuck like a raw whalebone up his urethra i would imagine do you think he like wiggled it around a little bit like moved it aggressively? I wonder, was the whalebone smooth or was the whalebone kind of prickly like a broken chicken? I think it was ribbed for his pleasure. That makes a lot of sense. That would explain all the blood and the death, right? If he had a smooth whalebone, then he'd

probably be fine. Perhaps he graduated to some aggressively prickly whalebone and that was the cause of our downfall. I don't think it was a whale bone. I would bet money that it was a piece of baleen, which is that those fine teeth that they have that are like a mesh that they use to catch their

shrimps. That's what I would go with. That's what you would go with. Because I don't think whales have many small bones in their body, you know, because they're fucking whales. It's kind of like using the whale's fucking, I was going to say thigh thigh bone that's how big of a retard I am like one of their big bones I don't fucking know just he died of a short but distressing illness just dressing being like if I ever get a whale bone stuck in my cock, I'll die of fucking a gunshot wound to the head.

That is awful. I would stage it to look like in my home that someone broke in and put a whale bone in my dick and then killed me. Because I wouldn't want my... I'm just so happy with the sounding father pun that I can't get enough of that. Can I read the last page? Sounding has to be the worst fetish of of that. Can I read the last page?

Sounding has to be the worst fetish of all time. Has to be the grossest one. So Taylor, for years, Morris never settled down, preferring instead to spend his time romancing married women. But he shocked the world when he married his housekeeper at the age of 57. But that was only the beginning. At a Christmas party, he announced that he had just married Anne Gary Randolph, who was 22 years younger than the founding father.

Cool. He had a reputation dating back to 1792 when she was accused of adultery and murder. At the time, she was 17 and reportedly slept with her brother-in-law. The union produced a baby who died shortly after birth. Nancy was put on trial for murder,

although she insisted the baby had been stillborn. She was acquitted. Oh, I misread it. I thought he was 57 and she was 22. Not 22 years younger. She was actually 35. Which is good for 57, but not as good as 22. Good for him.

Well, I mean, he was clearly a sexual deviant and a freak. And you're a little judgy. Well, I'm not saying it with any negative connotation i believe the word deviant comes along with with lots of me freak has a little bit of a negative twist on it yeah you know when you guys like if you guys want to break down the words i use and say deviant and freak or negative, then fine. I guess we can get into that, you know, hullabaloo. But like, no, this guy sucks. And sounding, like, that is one thing where like, you know how I've talked about something that like, it makes me want to gag more than

anything is someone eating their own boogers. Like, I'd rather watch someone be beheaded in an ISIS video than watch someone eat a big stringy long booger that would gross me out so much sounding is in that similar vein yeah where the the just the fucking thought of sticking an object up my pee hole yes it is only bottom of the sexual it's it's it's right at the bottom of the things that uh i i might want to do things of like of sexual like like like kinks and stuff whatever you want to say it is at the very bottom i would much rather you shit on me piss on me i would much rather shit or piss on you um i'd much rather get fucked in the ass or like fisted even like like i'd rather get fisted i'd rather get fisted than than be sounded yeah absolutely i would need to know what we're sounding with who's

sounding with a sounding rod like like one of those they come in a whole kit um they're they're they're like all different like can you describe a sounding rod like if it's like a piece of glass it's no it's not a piece of glass are you insane i thought it was like a glass rod that people use sometimes no it's a stainless steel a glass rod kid you're smart guy taylor can't you see how this would go wrong only one of the only gifts i've ever seen online of this it was a long thin glass like hard like maybe it was plexiglass or something like that like my sex toys out of i don't know but he stuck that in his dick hole and i've never gone back to see what it's a long thin piece of glass seems like it has an inherent risk taylor yeah that's why it must be like a it must have been a piece of clear plastic and i'm retarded i mean people i prefer poking it you stop stop bleeding into it it's to feed yourself. Sorry. There was no grounds to defend. I was being retarded.

Oh, well, apparently they make some little plastic ones that don't look so mean. See, that's what I was thinking. If it was the size, like, you know, the rod in a Q-tip? Picture something that diameter, but with smoothed edges and no big cotton Q-tippy thing. And, I mean, I would take that over fisting. Some of them are ribbed. They have like bumps along them. Oh, here's an Amazon link.

So you know it's going to be like, you know, safe for work and all that shit. Here's a whole kit of sounding rods. On Amazon? Yeah, this isn't going to be good for my recent search history. What else is Amazon going to think I'm interested in? Nine-piece metal urethral sound plug inserts,

rod sex toys for men, steel urethral sounds. Okay, I'm just trying to get your SEO up there, I see. Oh, my God. Oh, if you scroll down, there's one of them that's inflatable. Oh, this is – oh. Oh, what the fuck? Yeah. Let me link the inflatable one just so

you make sure you see what I'm seeing here. Oh, wait. I do see it. It's a huge link. It's got the same kind of thing as a blood pressure machine where you just squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. It's called a urethral sound easy to use dilator masturbator plug.

This one and this one. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Like, there's butt plugs like that. Those are cool. I want to read the reviews on these. I didn't even think of that. Let's see.

Urethral sounding, UTIMI vibrating. I'm a newbie at sounding, and Thals this would be a good place to start. I got the short version. I thought it looked too big when I first looked at it, but tried it anyway. To my surprise, it slid right in to the hilt, simply by flexing the muscles that control peeing function. In fact, it slid in

by gravity alone, with no help from me except to guide it. It was fantastic. I bet I spent three hours playing with it. I am now off to order something a little bigger and longer. Kyle left. Kyle, you

fucking... I didn't leave. I reached over to grab a thing. I went to the one star reviews. Wait, wait. Another review. If you have an imagination, you can find other uses for it. 11 people found this helpful. I don't know.

The top critical review of the urethral-sounding, UTIMI, vibrating urethral dilator, sleek sperm plug, stimulating urethral male massager is one star. The title is, you want to put that where? And then the comment is, totally not what I thought it was not my bag of tea and it says verified purchase and so he spent 15 dollars on this under under what auspices sir did you purchase this item what did you think you were getting you fucking idiot you that guy got home and he's getting off harder than he ever has with this item and he's like people are gonna find out i better

leave a bad amazon review in the future when i run for politics oh man i can't believe i've never thought to go to sex toys on amazon and look at the one star reviews don't don't you like that when you think of new things to waste your time with when i could be like learning to code or something like learning something valuable but instead i want to watch 18th century cooking i watch so much of townsend and sons it is it i that guy's great he's just so upbeat he's so happy about all the recipes he's's so, you can tell his interest is genuine, and he's just loving what he's doing. Townsend and Sons, that's a great channel.

I love it. I watched a little of it, but I'm like, I watch cooking shows to learn to cook, so it's like, you know, I'm not going to be cooking any medieval fucking food, so I just changed the channel back to Food Wishes and actually learned how to cook some salmon. You didn't find it interesting, though, to see, I don't know what video you saw but just to see like he'll be like in every

video his tone of voice and his timbre is like today we're gonna look at the way that they made salt pork back in the 18th century come along with me for the journey and then he'll go like through his little intro and he's like now you may have heard a lot of things about salt pork you may even go to your grocery store and see it in the package all this is is pork belly what you really need is this and i'll take it out and i'll show the recipes and everything and he'll be like now this is from a book called from mary cliburn called 18th century cookery and this is published in 1731. And it's like, this is just cool. It's neat to see like, well, man, back in the day, they were writing cookbooks too, and people were fine. I don't know. It's just like a blast from the past. People like that

need to stay around. Like people who are really into history from certain eras, letting that history go by the wayside is a mistake. Like seeing that stuff and understanding more about what they went through and what it was like back then is definitely valuable if for nothing else to make us more thankful for the things we have today yeah yeah a lot of those recipes don't look very tasty uh yeah i've watched a few of them but and i really like cooking videos but i'd rather see something that i'm going to duplicate you know you could duplicate some of these yeah but why would i you know it doesn't seem a good idea can we do my next topic all right so it's not political but it is about this guy yeah yeah mississippi lawmaker arrested for reportedly punching wife because she didn't

undress fast enough another contender cool guy of the week so mississippi lawmakers facing a domestic violence charge after his wife said he punched her because she didn't remove her clothes fast enough for his liking.

He goes on and he was very surprised that she called the police. He says, are you kidding me? The cops are here. I guess she brings her sister in.

The guy was drunk and he punched her in the face because she didn't get undressed quick enough so that he could have sex with his wife.

In this whole article, it never tells you how quickly or slowly she got undressed quick enough so that he could have sex with his wife in this whole article it never tells you how quickly or slowly she got undressed which to me was the core of the whole like i want to know was that frankly it's been half an hour that's a that's a tally in his column you know like threatened to kill her dog when she wouldn't come out of the bathroom now why why would they leave how slowly she got undressed out of the article unless that was truly the crux of the issue? You tell me, boys out there, your girl takes 45 minutes

to get undressed for fucking... You might throw, right? Nobody else? No, nobody else would... No, me neither. I'm joking. Yeah, that's pretty fucking funny uh even though it it you know seemed to result in a woman being assaulted i know i bet i bet he's taken i bet it had assaulted not battered though he's a battery is where you're throwing hands and you're beating the shit out of someone assault can be

like throwing a cup of water at someone. That's assault, technically. Seems like he's bordering on battery if he punched her in the face. I just gave her one. I'm outside my area of expertise, really. What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? I've already said twice before. Jesus.

So he was a Republican House of Representatives at the state level. That. So he was a Republican House of Representatives at the state level. That's what he was. Your blue shoe is going to wear off at any moment. Women have too few eyes. Did we do all the ads? More should be blackened. No, no. We should probably do the last two, I think.

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three titles per month, one audiobook, and two Audible originals that you can't hear anywhere else. Audible membersinals that you can't hear anywhere else. Audible members also get access to exclusive audio fitness programs to start the new year off on the right foot. Listen on any device, anytime, anywhere, at home, the gym, on your commute, or just on the go. You'll always enjoy easy audiobook exchanges, rollover credits, and an audiobook library that you keep forever, even if you cancel. Audible, the most inspiring minds, the most compelling stories, the best place to listen. Get started with a 30-day trial when you go to audible.com slash pka

or when you text pka to 500-500 and listen for a change. And listen for a change. That's audible.com slash pka or text pka to 500-500. Don't miss out on this wonderful offer. I legit listen to Audible more than anything else at this point. Long drives go faster with Audible on. I listen to it when I paramotor. That doesn't seem like a good idea.

You need to focus. No, I really do, though. If you do acrobatic paramotoring like I do, you spend like, I don't know, 10, 15 minutes gaining altitude and then two losing it. So with a ratio like that, you can just listen and chill. As long as you heard the helicopter coming, what are you going to do? I wouldn't hear it anyway.

Your own motor's loud. But anyway, yeah, so I listen to books all the time. I just finished a 27-hour, 37-hour book. It was really long. You're in restricted airspace meanwhile and what is the airspace and they sounded the horns hello dude we're going we will open fire in 30 seconds if you do not leave the airspace sir stop urinating i have a i listen to a paramotor app actually it doesn't make any noise 99.9 of the time nothing happens but if you fly into airspace it beeps at you like it sounds like an air horn and i have um you know it's connected to my phone and everything so i have

these like noise canceling headset hearing protection under my hearing protection bottom line i legit my first theory was there was a nuclear war nuclear war and uh and just the like just beaming at me like air horns like and all i was in was a place where skydivers also yeah but you might misunderstand like you did on game of thrones when you thought that hip-hop like like the episode. You're getting it closer. You're like, this is bumping. It's funny though. The autoplay, it went

and I was like, they put a horn in there and then 30 seconds later, another one and after a while I realized it was my autoplay. This episode is also brought to you, of course, by Smart Mouth. Everyone hates talking to someone with bad breath. That humid, awful smell keeps

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You're really not. No, you're really not. You're really not. Believe it or not, women are very sensitive to smell. It is absolutely a showstopper. Get yourself some smart mouth. I've got a clip here that it's called Real Talk. And it's this entire clip is fake.

Joe Rogan said none of this. But we'll listen to how real it is through this fake. This is literally to the point where like people like us like we've said enough words recorded that anyone could hop in and like they recognize our like the tenor of our voice like how everything works how we pace our words they could easily hop in and like make a silly video where like we never actually said those things as if they would need to and all the things we've said but like it's funny you mentioned people like us because i joe rogan had a guest sorry i'm breaking up your setup but he was saying that joe rogan was actually one of the

biggest archives in the world to do this too because he is what like a thousand episodes or something like that of him on camera with a similar sort of view and you know like we do too like me doing this right now is kind of data people need yeah so uh and just listen to how fucking real this sounds so I'm ready at any point ready set play the following audio clips are not real they were generated by a machine learning model Jim hockeyimp hockey team. Friends, I've got something new to tell all of you. I've decided to sponsor a hockey team made up entirely of chimps.

I'm tired of people telling me that chimps are not capable of kicking human ass in sports. Chimps are just superior athletes. And these chimps have been working out hard. They're throwing kettlebells, battle ropes, everything. I've got them on a strict diet of bone broth and elk meat. These chimps will rip your balls off. God damn, it's impressive. All I got to say is, see you on the ice, folks.

That's great! Being a robot has its benefits. I can pronounce tongue twisters now. Check this out. Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. How many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick? She sells seashells on the seashore. The shells she sells are seashells, I'm sure. Also, since my brain is connected to the internet, I've become a medical expert. Did you know that bacillus membrane and otolaryngology are not autocorrelations?

Whoa. Hey, Joe Rogan. It's Hey, Joe Rogan. It's me, Joe Rogan. Please come save me, man. These artificial intelligence guys have trapped me in a machine. I've never told this story before, but on Thanksgiving weekend, I was doing a set at the comedy store, and some idiot ran up on stage.

He comes up to me during the middle of my set and tells me that we are in a simulation the guy was drunk out of his mind he was so drunk that he couldn't stand up straight so we all laughed at him and let security escort him out but now that we have deep fakes and fake voices i'm starting to believe that we're not far off from simulations after all dude isn't that crazy like it's not perfect you can no no but it's not think about where we are with technology you can hear little stops and and awkward breaks in there we're in 2019 by 2023 this will be perfected and i've seen video done too we've talked about on the show like you know you can change someone's face in a more convincing way than ever before i saw one the other day where i can't think of the comedian but um he was he was doing like

conan or something like that and he started doing his arnold schwarzenegger impression and whenever he goes into it they put schwarzenegger's face on him and it's so seamless that you have to like stare and be like when is it going on and off because it just melds into schwarzenegger and out of schwarzenegger and out of Schwarzenegger. And you're just like, fuck what? Now he's there. No,

he's not. Now he's there. No, he's not. That's what they did. Yeah. Cause like, you know,

I'm, I, I, I'm literally not good at faces. Like whenever they say like, Hey, look, Sansa did porn.

I'm like, is that her? I don't know. I can't tell. You know, they'll show like six fakes in a reel. No six reels in a fake, but the fake is always like the most extreme one. Six fakes in a reel no six reels in a fake but the fake is always like the most extreme one six fakes in a reel like man i can't get it like

but you know how they do that they'll be like oh here's the jennifer lawrence leak and the most extreme one isn't really her um i'm like i don't know i just don't see it the way sometimes other people do that that's not her no she looks a lot like her like i i don't know. I just don't see it the way sometimes other people do. That's not her. No, she looks a lot like her. I don't get it. So when I didn't realize, I thought he looked like Schwarzenegger when he did the Schwarzenegger impression. When people do De Niro,

they look like De Niro, kind of. All right, we got to watch this. All right, I want to see if I'm seeing the same one. It's Bill Hader. I hope this is the one that you really just thought he was doing a Schwarzenegger face. Yeah, we'll see. We'll see.

Ready, set. Are you guys ready? Yeah. Ready, set, play. You've been over visited me. I know you're kids. Is this being passed on? Yes.

Yes. Our two year old right now. Keep your eye on his face. How on to you? Yes, yes. Our two-year-old right now. Keep your eye on his face. How old are you? And she goes, I'm four and a half, which is her older sister's four and a half. And I go, no, you're not. You're not four and a half.

And then she grabs my face and goes, four and a half. That was also kind of a Schwarzenegger a little bit. Yeah, yeah. I'm four and a half, father. You got to get out of here. Get out of this. It's a bombing day. I'm four and a half father. You got to get out of here. Get out of this. It's a bombing day. Get out. Dad, come on.

You got to go. I had no idea they digitally enhanced his face. Oh my god. Come on. Look at the teeth even. I want to watch Doc McStuffins. He looks like Schwarzenegger so much. That's a teeth fake. Taylor, he looks like Schwarzenegger so much. I didn't know his other teeth.

Taylor, are you falling for it too? No, no. As soon as I saw the... I paused it so I could talk. As soon as I saw his eyes change to that distinct... As a person, I can't describe what makes me able to recognize faces

because that's so ingrained in us, but immediately I could tell that's a Schwarzenegger deep fake. Okay. That is not Bill Hader's. Look at the thumbnail. I don't know what Bill Hader looks like. I wouldn't know this guy if I was in the elevator with him. I can't tell

on the thumbnail because it's covered by the play thing whether or not he has it on the thumbnail. He does have it on the thumbnail. He does not look like that in real life. is like for the longest time people have been like man politicians in 2040 are going to be fucked because they're going to be documented on all of this crazy shit they said throughout their childhood now with this deep fake stuff that's not going to happen get out of jail free every single person will be able to be like no that's not me that's a deep fake how do you how are we supposed to know well i mean can you

tell the difference between the 2040 deep fake and a real person well of course not it's perfectly accurate i don't think to be documented right you know they'll be like well actually like chelsea clinton was on you know the bill or the bill oReilly 3 show on April 17th. Okay, push it out to 2060. How much is still documented? Everything will still be documented. We know everything that happened in the 30s. Politicians running for office right then will have been born now.

You can find Hitler's schedule today. You can look it up and see what he did on a certain day. That's a totally different situation. If someone is born today and they're running for office in 2050, 2060, they grew up in a world where deep fakes were an existing part of culture like you'll never be able to overcome that like you they'll always have that in the back pocket of well if you're about a cell phone video sure yeah if you're talking about a cell phone video but if you're talking about an

interview that they did then the interviews are documented you know it's like well no he was on 60 minutes that night here's the cbs big media i don't trust big media and don't definitely don't notice the fact that my media platform gets more views than cnn fox and msnbc combined that does not make me big media i'm a little guy fighting for the right to put my voice out there just because I absolutely dwarf every cable news broadcast in terms of viewers doesn't make me big media.

I wonder how he compares in terms of hours and minutes watched. You see where I'm going with that? He's way bigger. Let me lay it out there with that? He's way bigger. Let me lay it out there and see if you don't change your mind. I don't know.

Tucker Carlson, for example, he gets listened to for an hour every day again and again and again. Someone like, I don't know, who does an eight-minute show doesn't get an hour worth of views in the same way that tucker might that's true like uh but like for example like tucker is the biggest show on cable news right now okay uh and i think at most there's like 3.2 million people watching at a given night and that's a very good night uh then you have like rachel maddow who's i haven't checked her ratings in a hot second but last time she had uh after the muller thing dropped off a lot and then she came back up a little bit to where she's probably at like 2.5 million uh given viewers per night and then you've got like cnn which cnn is in fucking crisis mode right now. Their best anchor gets 900K, 920K. Is that Chris Cuomo?

It's between Cuomo and who's the gray-haired guy? Anderson Cooper. Anderson Cooper. It's between Cuomo and Cooper who were pretty big competing for that spot on CNN for a while. But they're getting fucking trounced. As someone who works in advertising and i can like go and check the rates like cnn rates are just like dropping so fast because their viewership is tanked meanwhile msnbc uh well i mean uh it's not comparatively it's not just uh it hasn't comparatively gone up they were bigger uh pre the trump election election than I misspoke. They were bigger.

So we've talked about this. The way it used to be is that MSNBC, like of CNN, the two more left-leaning ones, like CNN was the titan, the big one. And MSNBC was floundering for a long time. And then throughout from about, you know, I guess Trump's election to now, totally inverted. Like MSNBC has stolen all of those viewers. CNN has tanked badly. So I think CNN's viewership has gone up. What's gone down is their share.

Their share has tanked. But all news has gone up in the Trump era. It's gone. We'll see, but you don't look at net numbers as much. The net numbers have gone down as far as cnn and their and their top rated shows okay but when you're looking at it you have to keep in mind like the reason that you look at comparative viewership is because of advertising and so if someone is like oh i work for fucking uh casper mattress. Okay, well, the rates between Fox and CNN

are pretty similar, but I get three and a half times as many viewers on Fox. Okay, I'm pulling all my CNN spots, putting them on Fox. Ah, I used to advertise on CNN, but Rachel Maddow's fucking slaying it right now. Pull out of CNN, go on MSNBC. Just so I understand, let's say I get

800,000 views and you get a million, right? And then a year shifts, now I get a views and you get a million, right? Yeah. And then a year shifts. Now I get a million and you get two million. So I've done better, but you've done way better. Don't my rates go up? You can still increase your rates, yeah. But I was talking about kind of the limited cable news sphere. We're obviously advertising on ABC, CBS, NBC infinitely more expensive than advertising on any cable news show

but like fox has been able to be pretty steady with their charges msnbc has been able to ramp them up considerably because they got the last couple years because they got very competitive with fox and cnn used to have those competitive fox rates and now they're having to drop down a bit and because they're not dropping down as much as they should as far as their rate per spot, they're suffering from it. And so I assume just from, and this is not a political thing at all, I assume from CNN's business model, they have to be reworking it, trying to figure out a way

to pull some market from somewhere to viewer. But so much of the core kind of constituency if you will of cnn has moved to msnbc that they are they're in deep trouble uh as far as well i guess they're not in deep trouble because ted turner owns it right and he's a multi-billionaire he could run that shit at a loss for 100 years and be fine maybe i don't i don't know maybe dump it i don't even know if they're at a loss but but like we we uh oh no i don't think they are i was saying he could run it as at a loss if he wanted to because of all his other holdings but um like the the shift i'm most excited about is away from all

forms of traditional media into digital for all of this like because that's where the real reach is now like these these twitter uh even like the big name cnn fox msnbc talking heads on twitter don't have the influence of you know a youtuber with a million subs it worries me a little bit though because like if you're on the left and you felt like tucker judge justine whatever judge janet felt like Tucker, Judge Justine, whatever. Judge Janet Pimiero. What's her name? Judge... Janine Piro, I think. Janine Piro or Laura Ingraham.

If you thought they were like I don't know not very trustworthy news or if you're on the right and you thought Mad Owl and her crew was not very trustworthy news, way do you go to the YouTube. The YouTube guys will do or say anything.

That is where journalism really, really, really gets thrown out the window. Oh, it's the exact same for those mainstream media sources. The big problem is they've all moved to the cost per click model of journalism, which is say something sensational, expect a lot of people to click, we make money based on those clicks from ad revenue. And that's where we go. So a good story is no longer, man, I'm cracking this big story and people are going to care about this Iran something like it's now, oh damn, I found something that's going to really titillate people. Yeah, sure. I, the title isn't

at all indicative of stuff in the article and I'm being sensationalized with it, but I'm going to get those clicks. And mainstream media has figured that out. And so our entire journalistic sphere right now is in a competition, a capitalistic competition to try and get more money. I don't believe any of them are looking for the truth. I think most of them are looking for sensationalist shit to get their numbers up because that's what drives them. I believe, I actually agree with that, but I think I'm less extreme in my agreement. There are some Wall Street Journal, New York Times,

Washington Post, maybe the LA paper, Chicago Tribune, who tried to break stories and, you know, like get the tax returns or whatever, at least have some sort of truth-based thing. Whereas on the internet, you get InfoWars,

who's just straight-up reptilian vampire bullshit. We just saw a man fighting off the reptilian vampires 20 minutes ago. Touche. You're lucky he's out there looking out for you. I like your hot take. He's tuned into Alex every week. Dude, we are going to have to eat our words if reptilian people are a real

thing. Like, imagine that if it comes out in 2024, like fucking Anderson Cooper weathered sitting there like on CNN. So it turns out that reptilian overlords have infiltrated our i know god fuck i know i know reptilian overlords are now we're going to alex jones with the details anderson cooper though he'd be doing this. He's like, reptilian overlords.

You're going to be tuning in and rubbing that neck thickening sap on. Now you called me fools, but I'm one of the few newscasters left without gills. You say what you will, but you'll trust me now and then

everyone will be like fuck this alex jones guy he's what else has he been right about i know and they'll look through like have you injected your b12 today honey no still still none of this did you guys see the guy drop kick arnold schwarzenegger yes i hate. Do you think that if you drop kicked him, it would have been more effective? Dude, I could have drop kicked him way harder than that. I think you could have. I would have fucking knocked him over. Easy.

Easy. You would have knocked Arnold Schwarzenegger over? If I had a running start with all the weight I have, with my fat fuck gut, and I ran at him and I jumped. What do you think his testosterone level is? As a 70-10 testosterone man. Oh, you think his testosterone comes from testicles, my sweet summer child?

No, no. Okay, you might be right. First of all, I would never dropkick Arnold Schwarzenegger because I like him and I think he's cool. If I did, if Arnold Schwarzenegger put me in a self-defense situation and the only way out was a dropkick to his back,

I would have knocked him over clean. It would have been a more viral clip. Let me ask you, if you wanted to knock over Arnold Schwarzeneg been on it would have been a more viral clip let me ask you if you wanted to knock over arnold schwarzenegger what would be your move i think hockey check i'm putting my shoulder into him i'm running i'm putting my head down i'm getting up a big head of steam and like as i hit him i don't know exactly what a hockey check is but to me i'm pretty much what you're talking about i'm sort of i'm getting this movement in like a shoulder like i'm i'm rolling my shoulder into him like like and all my weight

and and i'm pushing off i'm trying to get a chain a muscle chain uh you're describing a hockey check and you don't even know he's describing an illegal one because he left his feet yeah tom wilson this i'm describing how i would hit an old man in the back as hard as i could as effectively as i can imagine it and i guess would hit an old man in the back as hard as I could, as effectively as I can imagine it. And I guess that's a hockey check to the back. And I think that that – I don't know if I can knock him out. He's a big dude.

I don't know if I can knock him out. I think he can, though. What's he weigh? 260? 260. Not that high anymore. I would bet he's closer to – He was never that high. No.

Isn't he tall? When he was – He's 6'2". He's 6'2", but when he was competing, I think he might have been around 260. I think he was probably 245. You might be right. I bet around now he's probably 235 walking. He doesn't have a body type I see every day. I don't know how to estimate it. Well, no.

And he's also not top heavy because his glutes are nice. He's got fantastic glutes if i had to eat any politician's ass i had sauerkraut last night that's such a fucking funny hypothetical if you had to eat one politician's ass and i just go for a man yeah i was like aoc is out there. You can do this better. Yeah, you fucked up. Tulsi Gabbard is just on the roll. She's a surfer as well. It's very cool. I fucking made.

I like that chick. Who is the one on? Yeah, she won me over a little too. She makes a lot of foreign policy sense to me where it's like, she's like, we're tired of getting in wars that only advance agendas that aren't ours like what do we gain from this shit and i'm like hell yeah bitch like it's about fucking time somebody stood up and did that even though fucking trump did that

exact same shit being like why are we these wars we need to get out of these wars and then he gets in he's like well actually these wars aren't nearly as bad. Well, so Trump is the first president I can remember where what he says and what he means don't line up so much. And that sounds like an insult. But when you're negotiating war type stuff, I don't know. Maybe blustering is not a dumb thing. You know, when he's like, Iran, we are going to rearrange your whole country. We'll turn it to sand. We'll do this or that. These aren't actual quotes. Oh, no, not are going to rearrange your whole country. We'll turn it to sand. We'll do this or that.

These aren't actual quotes. Oh, no, not to sand. I meant glass. I meant we were going to turn the sand to glass. Yeah, yeah, I made a mistake. We're going to turn you to glass. We're going to do everything. And it's like, you know what?

Maybe that's one way to negotiate. See, I don't like that at all. I don't like him blustering and bloviating to Iran whatsoever because I genuinely don't believe Iran is at all a threat to us. At all. At all. Iraq wasn't a threat to us. Afghanistan wasn't a threat to us. We get in all these fucking wars for no reason. I'm done with it. Don't you understandan is trying to sell their oil to the rest of the world and not use american dollars as the currency oh man the fucking gall of them it's almost like venezuela who nationalized their oil supply so they could sell it as they wished and didn't enter into one

of those binding agreements that pissed you know the u.s off it's like that was why we went into iraq because they also tried to get off the US dollar. Yeah, it's fucking nonsense. Nonsense that we have to get into these. And people are so like the average person is so fucking retarded that like they can't tell it's a deep fake. No, they think going into Iran is is is it all like going into Iraq where it's like, you really think you're in 2002, there was a simulation done. Uh, I don't remember what it was called, but it was a military simulation about the invasion of Iran.

Operation pumpkin pie. Operation pumpkin pie. And so they, uh, they ran a simulation being like, all right, one, one us general was like, this is what the U S would do if we were to invade iran with boots on the ground 2002 and this is what i assume iran would do because i if you don't know iran has one of the most advantageous landscapes for defending against a land assault on earth i didn't know that i give you it is it is borderline impossible he said one of i i gave him it is one of you know the difference between iran and afghanistan is one of them is a world superpower with nukes who has a very skilled standing army

and so like they ran this simulation of the u.s general inputting what he thought would be the best u.s tactics and him putting in what he thought would be the best iranian tactics and they stopped it was supposed to be a two week simulation. They stopped the simulation after one day, because in one day, Iran killed 20,000 US troops in this simulation. People think invading Iran is going to be a cakewalk, like dominating Afghanistan. No, Iran is a fucking modern country in so far as their military capabilities sure they're pretty behind socially but like iran is not a fucking joke you can't just go into iran and start fucking shit about this is a powerful country and they're they're russia's strongest ally if you were trying to pull russia into a war that's how you would fucking do it and so i any politician that even humors the idea that we

should do shit in iran i'm done with like no not interested fuck you get us out of this shit i'm done i i they're good wrestlers too and wait and power lifters yeah um i ran what was i gonna oh i ran north kore. I had a thing. I lost my train. I'm sorry. About them getting rid of nukes or anything like that? No. It is on my mind, though, that Iraq supposedly had the fourth most powerful army, and they were all

seasoned veterans because they had recently been in a war with Iran. Only by numbers, not by tech or capability. It was just a sheer number of them. Didn't they beat Iran? Am I crazy? When they went to war with each other? This is like the 80s, though.

Oh, they... No, I thought it was more of like almost a stalemate in the end. Yeah, it probably was. Where they couldn't mesh it through, but... They had the U.S. backing them. Iraq did. So I have a hard time figuring out where propaganda begins and ends. Taylor could be right on the money,

or they could be pumping up their military capability to fool us for some reason. I don't know. What would they do? Oh, here's what I was going to say. What has Iran done to us in the last 30 years? Think of all the wars China's been in in the last 30 years. None. None. Right? China's over there sim-citying while we're fighting every war on the

planet i want to try that yeah i'm tired of being the world police did i use the term right it's fucking nonsense the the more you learn about foreign policy the more you have to do like that uh what was those uh that bit from that british show where they're wearing the Nazi hats? He's like, are we the baddies? Yeah, yeah. We've got skulls in our caps. I think there's something to be said. You guys don't wear skulls. I think there's something to be said about the advantages of us having fought for the last decade, right?

I remember we'd find these issues with the Humvees and stuff, and then years would go by, and it's like, oh, well, now our Humvees can take a night. They're all armored, yeah. And that happened with everything that we used. Yeah, we couldn't have figured that out without pouring trillions into winless wars. No, we could have. I'm not saying that. That's not what I'm saying.

But we did figure it out by pouring trillions into endless wars, and we learned a lot of other things, too. And I feel like countries like China haven't done any of that shit. And if they were to put a lot of their stuff into the field they'd be they'd be like oh no it's not working they don't have to they they steal all of our technology i'm sure their humvees have uh armor too now yeah they don't have well they they steal some stuff from us for sure but they're not driving around if china invaded us with boots on the ground the only reason they would be beyond fucked is because every person in this country has a gun like you you can't conquer the who is the politician who said you can never uh invade the u.s because there's a rifle behind every blade of grass i've heard the expression who

was it i don't i don't recall who said that it was elvis was it roosevelt i don't know hell there's so many guns in me here can't invade us yeah no but like this whole iran shit i don't fucking care let iran do what iran's gonna do pull us out entirely of the middle east get us out of that shithole why are we invested in it there's all we're doing is causing problems for people who already have enough problems to deal with it's just nonsense yeah who has the best tough guys in the world do you think like russia talking about if we're talking about like british soccer hooligans versus like irish mafiosos versus like west coast crips and bloods those are the scariest

to me yeah i'm sticking with i'm sticking with russia oh wait cartel versus like mexican cartel and ms-13 versus like russian mobsters versus like the albanian mob mobsters who apparently cut your feet off from what the shield has taught me. Where do these stank rack and at what point do you feel like you're outclassed? Like if you're having to take on some of these guys. Okay, all right. First of all, great topic.

Second, I'm outclassed at the very beginning. Whatever it is, Somalian skinnies will scare me to death. They all outclass me. I'm 46 years old. I'm not meant to be fighting. But the scariest to me is, I think, the cartel. There's a level of badassery, strength, fearlessness,

and just a lack of foresight that makes them scary in a certain way. You know, like the lack of consequence predicting that makes them apt to cause problems yeah that could also be because we're so close to that that that's what we hear the most about i would think are those mexican cartels but like actually i don't know like the mexican cartels they have so much money so much fucking money like is there a criminal is isis in this group no no if you put the fucking russian mob or a cartel against isis i guarantee some south american cartel butt fucks isis in the first you know 72 hours they're gonna dominate but like man this is a good question i don't know the yakuza the

yakuza have an enormous amount of money a ton of power and they're japanese and so they don't give a fuck about vivisecting you once they've caught you oh no not vivisection the vivisection i had that done as a baby no no do you know what vivisection is no it's when they dissect you alive yeah it's where you're still alive and they they dissect you alive and then do things to you to test how an alive body will respond to certain chemicals yeah that's what uh that japanese uh group uh did section 73 or some shit like that yeah yeah i i don't remember the number but i know exactly what you're talking about it's super interesting interesting. Just as bad as the Nazis.

Yeah, I think... Dude, from the surgery shit, they were worse than the Nazis. They were the worst of all time with that shit. Yeah, I'm back to the question. I think that there are some groups that are just all business, and then there are some groups that seem to be more sadistic in nature and, and seem to be more, um,

less business oriented. And I think those are the scarier ones. I think that like an Italian, Italian mafioso type guy, they don't want to kill you. If they like, like I heard that I watched this interview of a guy who was a, um,

a hit man for the, for the Italian mob a while back. And he was like, if someone owed him money, they're like, what if a guy owed you money? He's a loan shark. This is what he did. He was a loan shark and he was also a hitman.

But being the hitman is what opened the door to being a loan shark. And he was like, what if the guy owes you money and suddenly he can't pay? And he's like, well, he can't pay? He's like, yeah, like his mother's sick or something. Well, I'll understand that. You know, we we've all got problems my mom's been sick before it's hard i you know i'll tell him come back to me when you can pay but don't lie to me you know come and let me know you can't pay and why you can't pay i'm in the business of making money here and i'm not even gonna charge him

interest during that time if he's down on his luck, it doesn't benefit me to go kill him. Now I'm not getting any money. He's a businessman in that way. If I go hurt him, well now he can't work to pay me. Now he can't even take care of his mom and that's just wrong. But if he's got money and he's going and gambling it somewhere else or he's using drugs or he's buying women or he's just throwing it around that's a different story he's like well then you kill him no don't kill him he can't pay me if he's dead you know he's going back of course how many times do i have to say italian mob would be like

but my mother she is so sick i am trying my best to try and make it out. Like every tough mobster in the room is like, Oh, yeah, mama. Oh, I made it. Oh, it's your mom. I like the Taylor through one of these in for like,

I'm so sorry for your mom. I don't mean to fuck you. It does mean fuck you. Yeah, it does mean fuck you. Where did it begin? Oh, fuck your mother.

Oh, fuck your mother. But I pray so hard for her to come back have we had the stack rankings i landed on cartel did kyle like the russians well yeah that's kind of where i was heading i was saying that the ones who were like business oriented like the italians and and by the same stroke of the same probably yeah all of those guys who are a business first and violence is they're no different than fucking morgan stanley or mcdonald's or name a big corporation it's just that they work at they do illegal business and part of that

because there is no fucking police you can call when somebody does some bad contract with you or or does you wrong is that violence has to be done to them and that's your police that's how you keep that's how you keep the rules but someone like the the cartel, they seem to be in the business oftentimes of dealing with other criminal organizations. That's who it seems like they're doing. They use violence for behavior modification. Yeah, yeah. They're hurting people who hurt people a lot of the times. The people that they're really doing bad things to are members of different cartels.

They might be hurting people who encroach on their sales. Exactly, yeah. Not necessarily hurting people. They just might be a rival marijuana dealer. Oh, yeah, they're not hurting them because Jose was a bad guy and he beat his wife. They're hurting Jose because Jose's trying to sell cocaine in my area or he's trying to import cocaine through the same border guard that I pay off in El Paso or some shit like that.

It's all about territory. And the bottom line is money again. I don't know. I think you got to look at a group that is more about hate and violence than they are about business. But are there any criminal enterprises that are like that? Yes, there are. And to me, that is the Aryan Nation. A group that makes up 1% of the prison population, but is responsible for 90% of the prison violence. But they're also responsible for a fuckton of the drug distribution. So at the end of the day, even though the Aryan Nation is violent as fuck, all these gangs are trying to make money. I think so, but the Mexicans will sell to anybody the russians will sell to anybody i don't think the aryans will do business with no we talked about this

on the show where we looked up like alliances between gangs and the aryan nation the aryan nation is allied with a couple big uh hispanic and black gangs because they all work together to sell their heroin and shit. And so like, I feel like all of these people at the end of the day are trying to make money. That must've been a funny Aryan Nation Kyle are you sure it's a good idea for you to be ripping

Kyle's gonna go in and be like I was joking it's a comedy show you guys are cool I love the shaved heads I'm pretty scared of how ripped all of you are. And you're taller than I thought you'd be. All of you.

A lot of Swedish blood in the school. Yeah, I don't know. I think that they're all pretty fucking scary when you get down to it. And I think the things that make them scarier to me are the, are the, the bigger the organization I guess is and the more money that's involved because I think that escalates the, the kind of violence and the,

and the, the difficulty that the difficulties you'd run into defending yourself against the room. I feel like, you know, maybe if like a middling gang name one, I won't. No, they're all the sons of anarchy right like if the sons of anarchy are after me they're tv gang so we're safe here yeah i feel

like i could leave town you know i they're mostly california based if i head out to i don't know harlan kentucky they're just gonna be like whatever he left he's gone he's out of sight out of mind true um but if i go out against the cartel their reach has no limit yeah yeah uh you know who would be the least scary are those fruits riding around on motorcycles like you could hear them from anywhere. Nobody on a Harley is going to sneak up on you. What do bike gangs do nowadays? Do they do anything? Is that even a fucking thing? Drugs and guns.

This isn't Sons of Anarchy. They're driving around in civics and not distinct cars. There was an incident just a few years ago. They're in Teslas for this stealth. Yeah, there was an incident just a few years ago. They're in Teslas for this stealth. Yeah, there was an incident just a few years ago where a bike gang went crazy and killed a bunch of people in Texas. There was a huge shootout. I want to say six years ago or something like that.

Bike gangs when I was a kid were scary. And I don't know if they were scarier or just had a bigger media presence. But it was like a thing I worried about. Bike gangs, quicksand, like like i do go ahead of course i was looking up the most dangerous gangs in the world and of course number one is called the triads t-r-i-a-d-s the triads thank you and it's a massive chinese crime syndicate that has over 2.5 million members yeah 2.5 million imagine a gang being so big they have 2.5 million they're in china though yeah they're in china but they're also spread throughout the world and so they engage in trafficking extortion

all sorts of things around the world and we should have known of course it would be a chinese gang i think the opposite are all about in-group preference and of course china has the most peoples they would have the biggest but i still think like existing group when when china's communist and when commies have to solve problems they solve it they're like semi-communist now the more the more oppressive the the government uh system that that is system that is present, the more prevalent the organized crime is going to be because they have more problems to solve. Like in the U.S., think of the problems the Italian mob are solving. They're lending money to people who can't get credit, right? Loan sharks. Prostitutes because that's illegal.

Drugs because that's illegal. because that's illegal well that's about it right they got those three little avenues up stolen property swag and stuff like that well in china it's would you like an unlocked iphone because we do that you know it's all kinds of things that are that are disallowed by the chinese government much more diversified yeah a lot of holes they can fill uh with with with because there's so many more things that are illegal same thing in russia you know under the soviet system that like like the russian mob thrived because there were so many things disallowed is it singapore i might be mixing up my asian countries but the one you know they trump was talking they're

like do you guys have a drug problem we got this heroin thing we can hardly crack it nope we kill them jesus oh yes singapore most hardcore laws on the planet it's pretty much it's mostly han chinese who live there and then like a sprinkling of other flavor asians with a handful of europeans but like it's illegal to chew gum in singapore because they think it's dirty. And I don't chew gum, and so, not very often anyway, but these... I don't need to make my head a point of attention. You need a mandible workout program, Taylor.

I don't need that. I destroy gum. Just tear that gum up. Four of them at a time. It lasts more than five seconds. I don't know. Jawbreakers? Who are you talking to? I never understood gum.

You get five chews in and it just becomes liquid. Do they have bite force machines? That would be a funny bit for us to do if we bought bite force machines. I know they do for animals i don't know if they do for i don't know why they would for people who the it is amazon they were just selling sounding kits so so i guess they would sell anything man i'm just so stoked on the blues making the stanley cup i'm happy for you i did thank you i'm i'm super happy

and i hope you're rooting for the blues as well i am i am yeah i i am still getting over the fact that the canes got swept i honestly when there were four teams left i honestly thought like we had as good a chance as anybody you know you did yeah but like like not just because there's four and they all have the same chance. No, we had just knocked off some good teams, and Boston wasn't such a world beater that we weren't there. If you just look at the second half of the season, the Canes were as good as most teams,

and as the best teams, I should say. And then we got swept. Yeah. Boston is not a world beater. They're amped up into a world beater they're they're like amped up into a world beater by hockey media because 80 of hockey media is in toronto and they hate boston and so for them to semi-rationalize their tremendous loss to boston in the first round this is an intricate conspiracy theory oh this is just undeniable they They're Toronto natives who hate Boston and therefore praise them.

Duh. One of the biggest rivalries in hockey, Toronto versus Boston. And you know how there's the rationale for some cities when you get beat by a team to suddenly pump up that team so that you can, in a way, be like, oh, it's not that we lost. It's not that Toronto got outplayed by Boston. It's that Boston is so good and so strong that despite all the moves we've made,

we couldn't overcome it. And because so much hockey media comes from Toronto and they don't pay attention to the fucking Midwest where St. Louis is, they're acting like they're these world beaters, and they're really not. They're riding literally the hottest goalie of all time. If he maintains this, he will be the best goalie of all time in all of NHL history in the playoffs.

It's one of the things that I don't understand about UFC fighters because a lot of times they go the opposite route. They lose to somebody, and they're like, oh, he was slow. He was this. He was that. He just happened to catch me like this. It's one of the things that I will say about Daniel Cormier

when he talks about Jon Jones. He's like, oh, yeah. Jon Jones is so good that I'm my best version of me when I face him. He's good at this. He's good at that. He's good at everything. If you lose to somebody, even if you haven't lost to them, face him you know he's good at this he's good at that he's good at everything you know like like like if you lose to somebody even if you haven't lost to them if win or lose and even before the

fight i would always be like how do you feel about fighting you know rda well he's had one of the most difficult schedules of any ufc fighter of any era ever look at his last 10 or 12 fights he's fought the greatest that there are and he's done fairly well against them i'm gonna do my best out there but win or lose i i as long as i don't embarrass myself i'm gonna be proud of the outcome that's how you go into a fight right and if you beat that way if you beat the guy you're like well i said it before the fight and i'll say it again he's one hell of a fighter. One of the best in the world, I would say. It was just my day, and I was better last Saturday.

Then you've got that leg to stand on. But if you go into it like, he's shit. He doesn't even deserve to be in the ring with me. And you go the distance and win a split decision. He's like, well, I did the best I could against that guy. That's just like basic bitch marketing. You have to pump up your opponent in that way to make yourself look more credible. On the other hand, Conor McGregor went into Jose Aldo.

He got in that guy's head. He made Jose Aldo run at him and do something stupid. We heard Conor talking to Tony Robbins the other day. He's like, I told that guy he was old. He was old and over the hill and he was done with. He was 28 years of age. I'm like, was he? 28?

Yeah, he had me convinced that this guy was old and just past his prime. 28 is your prime. I think you, oh no, you're just both very still for me. I'm talking. Both of you are Oh, no. You're just both very still for me. You fooled me. I'm talking. Both of you are like so still. Not even blinking. But yeah, yeah. So you can praise your opponent in a lot of sports, but

confidence is a big part of fighting, they say. So you kind of want to try to knock it. I've never felt that way, but it seems an odd duck. That's why I love this new goalie we have, Jordan Bennington, who seems to be, by all accounts, a total sociopath. If it turns out that the Blues do win the Stanley Cup,

and then they're like, former Stanley Cup winner Jordan Bennington found with 11 frozen bodies in his basement, I would not, it wouldn't even phase me because all of his interviews are like, they're like, hey, do you realize you're the first rookie goaltender of all time to win 12 games for their team in the postseason?

And his response was, cool. Do you, and then they have, they they tweet gifs now of him where like they have the over the top where the goalie is like hunched over in his net at the end of a series and it'll be like jordan binnington celebrating after winning and sending the blues to the first stanley cup finals in 50 years and it's him going and then slowly skating away. Like, he doesn't give a fuck. I love that dude. I hope he's as good as he has been so far

because it is about fucking time the Blues get a goalie we can stand on. So I can't even stress enough. Like, even if the Blues lose, like, I'm so fucking stoked that we're here. Like, finally. This is the first time in my life I would have had to be minus 21 years old to have seen the last time they made it here. It's really neat. It's cool what he was saying earlier, seeing the whole city rally around.

Everybody's got Blues shit on. Everybody's stoked as fuck. Other than the Cardinals, we've never had any sports successes. I guess the rams won the fucking super bowl but they left because of that fucking cunt cronky but uh yeah i'm just super stoked on it i won't i won't ramble on i enjoy seeing you stoked i really do i i hope good things happen for the team i uh i will say if you get swept it kind of sucks speaking from experience i'm literally expecting that so it can't disappoint me i am i am blues fans we are shielded against any kind of emotional

uh you know devastation from this because even my friends who are the biggest blues fans will be like yeah but like think think of all the ways they can fuck it up and i'm like oh you're right they've done that for the last half century so so they're gonna probably if trends are a thing the blues are gonna fuck it up and and get swept or losing six so we'll be saying that all playoffs we've seen that all season stick at it anyone who goes back through the previous hockey seasons will see that i'm discounting the blues every single series because I expect failure. But this is a different team. They never before has there been a team for the blues that I watch where we

can go down three, two in a series or three, one in a series or two zero in an elimination game. And this team stays on their game. They keep forechecking. They keep cycling the puck. They keep on exactly what the coach is telling them to do, and they don't give up. The mental game is huge, and

the Blues are absolutely in their mental prime for this. They're focused. They're hungry for it. Are they getting a lot of blocks? I'm curious. They are getting a lot of blocks. Fucking Petrangelo, our captain and our best defenseman, got an incredible block the other night. Not a block, technically, an intercepted pass.

But it literally prevented a goal from, I think it was Logan Couture. When the Canes won their cup. Dude, the way the players sacrificed their bodies, got in front of every puck. It was like every player was a goaltender. And I'm like, dude, there's something special going on between their ears. That's right. There's no I in team, and they knew that.

They knew, you know, six of one, half dozen of another. We got to get out there. We got to play our game. They were completely unaware of the M and the E in team. They got to keep things simple. It's a very hockey coach thing. Go back to the fundamentals. We're just trying to get back to the fundamentals,

trying to keep things simple. Put the pucks on the net. Finish our checks. Be hard on the body. Take it one game at a time. Take it one game at a time. At the end of the day, we're taking it one game at a time. I'm going to end this show right here.

PKA 440.