Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #447

Episode Date: July 19, 2019

On this week's PKA, it's a guestless show and the guys have some fun watching videos this week... first we gotta watch an epic white trash family BRAWL at Disneyland in Anaheim, CA that has A LOT of women being punched in the face by men, it's absolutely crazy and the boys respond appropriately then they watch the "Bagel Man Chronicles" of Chris Morgan losing his shit at some girls in a Long Island bagel shop, followed by some other videos from his life that came out after that event and we top it all off with Kyle sharing with everyone "JACKED AND TAN" a very entertaining Instagram personality who is only half as crazy as our Bagel Boy from the land of Oz. Hope you enjoy this chaotic, public disturbing, episode of PKA!

pka447 kyle a couple of sponsors tonight squarespace and blue chew keep your dick hard on that blue well we only need three hours of content tonight because it's a blue sponsor day that's right boys it's blue chew time so we were gonna start off with blue chew that's right woody no we're gonna talk about blue chew for 12 minutes so first we got to watch this uh this bagel man this very tiny bagel man get mad i purposely haven't watched a lick of any of these clips and they've been everywhere the last few days so i'm excited to see because everybody seems to be cracking their asses up over it. It's pretty great. Are you guys ready? Yeah, I am ready. I am on the Twitter video from Olivia Shay, I think, and it's 45 seconds long. I'm there. Ready, set, play.

Why is it okay for women to say, oh, you're five feet on dating sites? You should be dead. That's okay. Who said that to you here? Nobody. Women in general have said it on dating sites you should be dead that's okay wait who said that to you here nobody women in general have said it on dating sites you think i'm making that up everywhere i go i get the same smirk with the body over the counter shut your mouth you're not god or my father or my boss look how tough he is Look how tough he is! Or thinks he is. You wanna step outside? Huh? I'm not standing!

Ow! He'll bite your nipples! Go ahead and attack him, Jake! Oh my gosh! I just wanted bagels! I just wanted bagels! He did not expect the man to do what he asked. This is... This little man has not gotten his way so much in life He did not expect the man to do what he asked.

This little man has not gotten his way so much in life that he thought if he said, go ahead and attack me, he would not get that. And yet, this man, he doesn't see size. He lives in the world that that dwarf man would like to also live in, where everybody is the same size.

He's treated equally. I think the guy in blue, the big guy that pushed him down, was doing him a favor. If a man in a wheelchair says, Woody, you don't have the balls to kick my ass, you better believe I proved him wrong. I'm dumping him out on the sidewalk.

It's a courtesy. What, I'm going to treat him like some lesser person? It's not nice. I'm going to dump him like some lesser person? It's not nice. I'm going to dump you like a wheelbarrow full of horse shit, cripple. He's in a wheelchair, but in the kind where he's blowing himself towards you in a straw. Even the upper body doesn't work. Man, this guy rules. This guy's hilarious. Can we watch video two?

You clip his little straw with some scissors. Let's see how good. You clip his little straw with some scissors. Let's see how big. And the way that he's like, I see the looks. I see the way you all look at me. They're like, we're just here for bagels.

He's like, not you in particular. Life as a whole is boiling over for me right now. Me? I swear I was looking right over you. It's not from the video, but I saw it was like a retweet of something else today where some woman who is apparently four foot eleven who was at this incident said yeah i was taller than that guy so he's at most 410 let's play it 410 that's

danny devito okay i'm ready okay i'm at 39 ready set play way. All you women should be shut down. All of you. Yeah, all of you. No, you women need to stop being so fucked up. I like the girl. Oh, he gave him a little shove there at the end. Wait, I missed the... I need to see that again.

Like one hand shoving him in the back of the shoulder out the door. I feel sorry for the half-man, really. I think that people should have an ounce of kindness towards our manlet and dwarf society. The mini-man has things working against

him. He lives a life with just cock vision. And of course he's upset he's smelling everybody's hearts all day the whole words are like bullets i let him pass right through me from south park yeah this guy the best part of that whole video isn't even how short he is or the nodding smirking woman at the end which that's hilarious you know good move to that lady that's funny it was how he's like i don't even want my bagels yeah i don't even want my bagels and he walks away they start snickering he's like actually i'm taking my bagels he goes back there and he

takes it because he already paid for him because i'm hungry poor guy's fucking famous he's so tiny the best part is when some random white bitch licks some bluebell ice cream somewhere like you're like she's gonna blend right in with the other random white bitches like like i'm not gonna be able to pick her out in a crowd this guy if i saw this guy tomorrow i'd instantly recognize him i'd instantly recognize the four foot nine white dude who's going a little ball who outweighs me. Yes, yes. The four foot nine, 240 pound man. I'll pick him right out in the crowd and I'm going to go fart on him.

Have you ever heard of how dwarf conventions, this is a real thing, they have dwarf conventions where it'll be like little people of America. That guy needs to change his life trajectory. He's the shortest of the normal, but he could be the king of little peoples of America.

And so you show up there, you're 4'10", you're towering over everything. In the world of the blind, the one-eyed man is king! Perfect. Yes. That second Ecclesiastes. Well, I think there's only one ecclesiastes but whatever yeah that's in the bible there used to be two but we lost one just like the eye see that's it all

makes sense it all ties in there was a tv show on i don't know discovery channel or something about a family that had a bunch of little people in it like mom and dad were both little people and maybe one or two of the kids were anyway. It was fun because the kid who was, he's got a full size brother. And then himself in his high school, he really wasn't like the bell of the ball. But once a year, he went to the little people convention that Kyle brought up or Taylor.

And he was king of that place. Girls, it was Kyle girls all over. He him just wanting to get with this guy. He just struts his stuff. I love that he had a week where he was a hero. There's a video. And they're getting a whole year worth of fucking into that week. So there is so much pussy being played at the little people of America.

I'm making it sound like that's a real association, but I'm pretty sure it is. I know they all get together at some point. I'm going to watch a lot of midget porn tonight. This is turning me on. Let's go to part three. All right, and part three is the one on Reddit. It is. Wait.

Okay, misogynistic mini-male from Bagel Boss strands his date, quote-unquote, gold-digging bitch, on the side of the road when she refuses to, quote-unquote gold-digging bitch on the side of the road when she refuses to quote unquote put out i mean he sounds pretty cool so far let's watch that's the title of the video all right ready set play he's outside so you don't want to go back to my place same height as a sedan you don't want to go back to my place? Same height as a sedan. You don't want to hang out? No, I'm going home. You don't want to fool around? No.

You don't want to spend $750,000, right? That's a lot of money. Wait, what? Right? We'll see. Why not today? I came all the way out to pick you up to hang out for two hours. Huh?

Yeah. So why don't we go back? Come on, hurry up, Chris. Why don't we go back to my place for a little while why all right give me one minute I gotta open the door, hold on So he's driving her back? Nope Not now Oh, look at this pimpin' ride Those floorboards are filthy He's keeping her door locked He's leaving her Oh, he's fucking with her.

He's fucking with her. He's like, yeah, yeah, bye. He's so happy. Oh, wow. Let's go back around. Let's go back around and take a visit. That greedy bitch. That greedy bitch. Where is she?

Where is she? I'm going to fuck with her again. $750,000 I said I'm going to spend on her. And she don't even want to let me fool around with her. Really? Jesus, Clinton. I assume bill does that here she is here she is i like them cheap and chubby was she sitting in the road it seemed that way ruthless ruthless Ruthless Ruthless Keidler Does she think cookies just grow on trees?

They're in their bacon Come on bitch I got a lifetime supply of Milanos I don't know what he keeps talking about 750 grand like if he's promising to spend that on her or if he's like saying that or if he imported her perhaps that was that I had a sense of that but but it sounds more like he was Asian I actually that that clued me in a little harder yes thank you and she did look like the kind that can be purchased he couldn't have spent 744 000 and bought a nicer car dude honestly those first two he looks terrible and like a total asshole yeah that third one

if i hadn't seen the first two i'd be cracking up because i wouldn't know the context of it like that oh i thought the third one he was by far the worst person well the letting like the telling her like try again try again and then and then waving and driving away that's a pretty funny but wait he's like he was expecting her to put out i i wish i understood the context of the 750 grand if he spent 750 grand on a mail-order bride maybe expect her to put out i fill in the blanks with some sort of business venture i i don't know yeah Yeah, I'm just going to discount the $750,000 talk entirely because it makes no sense. It was almost as if he was promising that to her,

like if she was with him. I feel like maybe he's the kind of creep who's on it. Look, he's got no flex, right? He's a little person. He's not very attractive. He's driving that car where the hood doesn't even close. He was probably saying, like, I've got 750 grand inheritance. You know, that could be our money or something like that.

Like, that to me fits. That's the puzzle piece that fits best. But regardless, like, she was kind of cute. I mean, she wasn't terrible. And I mean, I mean, he's certainly out of his league. Out of. Thank you. That's what I'm going for.

Yes. And and I hated him until i got to the third video frankly i i really the third video showed me this guy i'm glad someone's agreeing with me on that this guy has a sense of humor like the fake out and then the double fake out he's like let me go back around i'm gonna get this bitch again uh that i like the opposite of both of you and now i'm wondering am I wrong or is everybody else wrong? Because in the first two videos, I had sympathy. Because, you know, the man has a hard life.

He feels like nobody likes him. He's rejected. He maybe expects like a little bit of that handicap privilege, you know? Someone's in a wheelchair. Maybe don't be an asshole to him, right? I think that's what he's going for. He'd be's in a wheelchair maybe don't be an asshole to him right i think that's what he's going for and i taller in a wheelchair but in the third video he's an incel he's an incel who is such an asshole that he's the cause of most of his problems oh i disagree with you there i don't think an incel would ever have the balls to like go like like he's he's

going far for what he's got like he's he's gone, like he's, he's going far for what he's got. Like he's, he's gone out there. He's driven. He's, he's made the date happen. He's, he's, uh, in cart and sales, you said, you know, did you ask for the sale? Because a lot of salesmen don't, they don't say, Hey, can we sign this up today? Let's, let's sit down, wrap things up. You can drive home with us. They don't say that they never asked for the sale. And that's, that's crucial. He was asking for the sale. He was sale he was he's like you know let's go back to my house let's let's let's hang out let's chill let's fool around like he just throws it out there i feel like i agree that he asked for the sale but then he just insta quits right stops on the first

no can't do that he can't physically overpower her like you can what i'm guessing is that i'm guessing that he took a lot of no's and then he turned on the camera to get a final no and to record his prank. I would say so. By the time he turned that camera on, he was already boiling inside with little man rage.

And did you see how the camera was perfectly level with the top of the sedan? You could barely see over the hood. Yeah. It was really him not even being able to see the cookie specials at the bakery that were on top of the thing like oh that was but we're just making all his complaints correct like all of our rip-on is about mini man and man like oh but it's fine because he doesn't want any

of us to fuck him. But when he goes over there with his little undoubtedly stubby fingers and he's like, You do it! You do it! You do it! Pointing at women making $9 an hour at a bakery in, like, fucking whatever northeastern city he's in. He sounded New York-ish, right? I thought I heard an element of dwarf in his voice. Like that Lollipop Guild kind of vibration coming into it. Oh, hey, you can't treat me this way.

Because I represent the lollipop, you the lollipop. When was the first year in civilization where someone would have a dwarf and they're like, ah, we'll let you stick around? where someone would have a dwarf and they're like, ah, we'll let you stick around. Oh, well, I think they were more of a luxury item in olden times. Not in Sparta, based on the movie I watched. And that movie's 100% accurate. Yeah, I think so. It's a documentary.

You know, I've been meaning to talk about Sparta. My history teacher taught me all about that stuff that I've often said on this show. It turned out none of it's true. The Spartans were just so-so warriors. When they fought the Athenians or whoever, it's basically 50-50. If they were 50-50 versus the Athenians, then that'd be a pretty good record because Athens was a way bigger city than Sparta.

Well, in numbers, there was a battle where it was like, I don't know, 500 Spartans and 500 Athenians. The number of dead and injured was virtually identical. They had a bit of a warrior culture, and they did keep slaves that did most of the work. But it turned out that most of that other nonsense is just fake. No, that's not true. They were all 6'2", yoked, didn't even wear shirts into battle, put mascara or whatever to outline their abs. They wore capes into battle

for some reason. Something that's notoriously easy to handle. Doesn't get caught up on things. I can't imagine what would go wrong self-choking. But yeah, I think that the dwarf was a luxury item in olden times. Maybe like if you were a king or

some sort of a warlord, you'd have a little type to entertain the troops, keep morale high. Maybe like if you were a king or some sort of a warlord, you'd have a little tyke to entertain the troops, keep morale high. Just like in Game of Thrones, if you read the books. Remember Patchface? Stannis Baratheon had this little fella that had been brought back from across the sea, named Patchface.

He was a little guy with a tattooed face, and he had fallen in the ocean and had gone just insane. And he wasn't a character in the show because they don't know he had fallen in the ocean and had gone just insane. And he wasn't a character in the show because they don't know how to write. Well, they had to limit one dwarf per show. That's a shame they did because Patchface would have been a fucking crazy-ass character because he had literally, it seemed like he had been resurrected by the drowned god, and he had seen, like, he could see the future, and he would tell the future in these cryptic rhymes that he would tell.

It was interesting in the book. So really, in olden days, only keep a dwarf around if it was funny. Absolutely. You better have some chops. You better have a tight five, or we're just casting you on that big heap of dwarves we got over there.

I'm 90% sure that's how King Taylor would run shit. Little man! Step forward! Make me laugh. sure that's how king taylor would run shit you know i just little man step forward make me laugh tight five give me your tight five well i've been abused every step of the way my whole life uh please don't kill me like what would what would they say that was that funny um i don't know i'm not good i'm not good at writing dwarf humor from the from the point of the dwarf but give me a week i'll come back with some stuff i wonder what inside dwarf jokes are you know because like every community has their own little inside jokes there have to be a lot of little like ah you know trying to reach the ticker tape when you're trying

to get meat at the at at the butcher. Oh, well that's such a bitch. Cause they put it on top of the counter. Sometimes, uh, trying, uh, trying to order children's meals at Applebee's and being turned down.

Um, that's all I can think of off the top of my head. I'm not very tight with it. I don't think I've ever met a real life dwarf in my whole life and if it was if it did happen i was probably a child and didn't realize what was happening i've seen one in a restaurant i saw one at orlando where they have all their all the restaurants and stuff like where emerald legasi's restaurant is and all that shit it's some sort of like touristy area i saw one there and i got i like elbowed my buddy i was like like hard like like you know in the movies like hey hey look i literally was like hey

fucking look holy shit don't miss this and he's like oh god i've never seen one in the wild i'm like yeah me either look at that little fuck god he's tiny he was super tiny like maybe three feet he was three feet, I'd say. Like he was so, so tiny. It's shocking to see. And here we have the New York manlet. His natural bagel habitat foolishly challenging

a larger male to a fight. In hopes of impressing the bagel female. The bagel female. And now, however, not only will he win breeding rights, but all the bagels he can stuff into his greedy little mouth. Which is one half. But little does he know,

even if he wins the fight with the larger male, the females remain safe behind the glass barrier. Yeah. Oh, man. I do kind of feel bad for that guy because imagine being four foot ten as a man on earth and not being danny devito who took that hand of cards and played it to the max and he has the benefit of also being hilarious he would have been a jester in olden days surely because he got dealt a deuce and a seven and flopped a full house. Somehow he made it work for him.

And he was a good looking guy back in the day. If you go back to even the 80s, he's got a handsome face and he had a full head of hair. And you know what his original career path was, right? No. Kind of interesting for a short guy. He was a hairdresser. Huh. He would have had to have climbed up on some sort of platform behind you,

even if you were sitting to really get at you, right? He was not handsome in the 80s. I think he's a handsome man. I mean, compared to the absolute goblin he is on It's Always Sunny, it's not hard to find a better pick. Okay, I'm going... So in the 80s, I think it was the 80s, he was on Taxi. You guys probably don't know oh yeah yeah i've seen taxi okay with uh with um what's his name andy uh andy uh kaufman kaufman yes yeah so he was maybe christopher lloyd yeah i think you're right yeah he was um the professor dude in back to the great scott yeah but um so i but if i'm looking at some pictures from his childhood. I'm guessing this is like 70s.

Yeah. Where he's all right. I just don't know hands to hands when you grab him. You don't land a catch like Rhea Perlman if you're not really looking good. Are they still together? I thought I read her. No, they divorced just a few years ago. They were together for decades and decades.

They divorced maybe two, three years ago, something like that. That hasn't even updated on Wikipedia then. It says married since 82. Oh. They may have rekindled their long-term romance, but I'm pretty sure they're divorced. Huh. Do they have kids?

Yeah, they got three kids. I wonder how tall they are. I googled dwarf joke uh and uh and apparently jimmy carr and you can't find the joke all you can find is the outrage over jimmy carr's uh he's a comedian uh over his quote-unquote abortion dwarf joke like every link is about the outrage and like the little people community like literally coming after him and writing letters and stuff and like like all the outrage every link is is the same it's it's it's people angry at his joke wow i gotta find this joke it must be a good joke for that maybe it's gotta be hilarious that's a good barometer of a good joke how many people are upset by it i agree i agree like like because if it were if it were a good joke. How many people are upset by it? I agree.

I agree. Because if it were a bad joke, if it were just bad words, everybody would ignore it. But this was clearly a good joke, and that's what made it hit so hard. Let's see. He was criticized by Little People Charity for offensive joke. God, did he say it? Did he do it at a Little People Charity? Surely not. charity for offensive joke god did he say it did he do it at a little people charity surely not jimmy carr embroiled in global race row after joking about korean oh he i guess yes he makes a lot of jokes i guess it looks like he made a korean joke and that's upset a lot of

people too about koreans amazing yeah major backlash over disgusting dwarf joke does it show the disgusting dwarf joke that's what i'm looking for that's all i want it says he's already jimmy car the comedian who's already in hot water due to a comment about k-pop band bts uh made a gag about dwarfs being abortions which made it during his live show truly terrible or right it's called terribly funny i'm sorry uh safe to say people are not happy in the slightest what a cruel unkind specimen specimen of a human how dare you make fun of people with dwarfism is a dwarf an abortion that made it seriously disgusting one enraged listener wrote on Twitter. One enraged person on Twitter. Wow.

Yeah, and they even link her tweet here. Disgusting. Apparently Jimmy Carr thinks that people like me are abortions that made it. A quick Google search shows he's made cruel dwarf jokes before. Does he have some kind of fetish for us? If you need to hurt people to be funny, you're not a comedian. You're an ass. I looked up Danny DeVito's marriage

and it's pretty interesting. They split up in 2012. Got back together the next year. They split up in 2017 and they're still split up but they say they're never getting divorced. And they're in their 70s. I didn't realize they were that old.

I think she or he is 71. And I need to double check that. Maybe I'm mistaken. But they're pretty old. And I think they're just going to stay married. They're like... Separated, yeah. We kind of get along.

We agree on a lot of things. Divorce is a nasty, nasty thing. So we're not going to... I like that. I like that. I like that move. Oh, I feel bad for this little three foot six woman she's like uh he doesn't have to hear shouts of midget and

they asterisked out the eye and midge like wow really from passing cars or gangs of passing youths we do i've never and granted i'm a dwarf, so my perspective isn't best on this, but I've never seen a dwarf in public and had anybody do anything other than kind of stare. Can you imagine screaming midget at a dwarf walking by? With hate in your heart.

Midget! You know who does that? That guy at the bagel shop. Oh, I guarantee it. if he sees someone shorter than him he's right over there to pick on him you get i can guarantee it that guy's like a female dwarf he immediately pops a couple blue chew because he knows that's his chance he's in yeah and she's like no i'm actually into taller guys he's like oh that he would murder that girl if if if an actual dwarf told him that she was into quote-unquote taller guys and she's like three foot ten he would he would drown her in a puddle part of me like i mean that that guy is clearly a cunt. But, man, imagine what.

He probably was in his 50s, right? He had gray hair, like 50s at least. I think they age faster than us. No. I don't know, because small dogs live longer than big dogs. That's right. Let me read a few lines. Incel, a.k.a. involuntary celibate,

a person who, absolutely usually male, who has a horrible personality, treats women like sexual objects, and thinks his lack of sex life comes from being ugly when it's really just blatant sexism and terrible attitude. They have little to no self-awareness. Even when they see other ugly men with girlfriends, they consider these men to be tricksters

who have somehow beat the system. Tell me this. I'm not describing this dude. Maybe. i don't know i mean i hope we get a deluge of more twitter videos from this gentleman in the future trying to win himself back in the public eye i wonder what he does for a living like has it hurt his employment he's a stepladder tester what else could he do hula instructor no um what is it limbo limbo he's a professional limbo yeah what's wrong with you guys you can't get under that i won the jamaican 2011 qualifier what do you do for for a living if you're that short like i guess it has to be almost an office job

you can't be a cop you can't be a firefighter you can't be an oil rig worker women can be policemen and i would argue that he could beat up most women he's at least average woman toughness i don't know he was showing a good deal of toughness. I said at least average. Yeah, that's true. He's an idiot. I would like him to do that as a policeman. Just routinely challenge big, strong men to hit him. Bring it.

That is such a rough hand to be dealt. To be 4'10". Your description of incel there, I don't know what the actual description is. Was that the Urban Dictionary or something? Yes, is there a better source? I was asking to confirm that it was the correct source.

Thank you. This guy, he could have the sweetest personality on earth. He's 4'10 ten women are not interested like no no five foot uh eight woman out there is like i met this guy he's sweet he's 410 like no it's just that that doesn't happen like that guy is involuntarily in celibate and all these people like celibate like uh involuntarily celibate yeah and all these people like, like, uh, involuntarily

celibate. Yeah. I saw something the other day and I still hadn't watched the video, so I didn't fully understand how short the gentleman was, but some some, some lady on Twitter was like, these guys act like it's cause of height. It's just cause your attitude and all these other women are like, yeah, yeah. And it's like

you why are people retweeting this lie? This absolute lie. It'd be like a guy being like, we don't care if you're 500 pounds as long as you're sweet. It's like, no, only fat women would retweet that. Well, I do have diabetes.

Yeah. I was just about to make that comparison. And it's not a uh a unique thought but yeah guys have it rough because you can't hit the gym show a little discipline and add some height yeah you have to even with like lifts or something for that guy what's he gonna do get to five two yeah yeah there's no hope for that guy because he doesn't even have the frame like like if that guy were six feet tall he would look absurd like like just just a real freak a humpty dumpty bill he belongs in a different century i i was listening to the

rogan where he had that power lifter and they were talking about days gone by when uh people were a lot smaller because of nutrition like like how in the civil war it was a bunch of 130 pound guys fighting that war and uh um that the power lifter was telling the story of this guy who fought the civil or fought the revolutionary war, who was like six foot eight, this giant of a man that George Washington referred to as a one man army. He said he was, he would literally yank people off of their horses and beat them to death.

That guy's cool. Imagine you're a six foot eight giant. Who's not a lanky fucker. Cause they tell the story of him picking up like a 300 pound field cannon and carrying it off the battlefield so that the enemy couldn't get it so a legit six foot eight giant in a time where the average soldier was probably 125 pounds and he's got to be 300 just literally almost three times the size of a normal man. It would be like a 600-pound, 7'7 guy coming after you. I don't know, man.

If you were making this argument for a time when people fought with spears in clubs, I'd be on your team. But guns existed. Muskets. Those were shit-tier guns. They told the story of someone trying to shoot him with a musket and it misfired and he took the musket away from the man and he beat him to death with it yeah i feel like back in those days though like there was so much ben asker would have been like i deserve that and everything's going on like if i fought in the revolutionary war and i got like i was way out in the weeds fighting somebody and i I barely survived and stabbed it with my bayonet.

I'd go back and be like, I encountered an entire other troop. I slaughtered them with the jawbone of an ass handily, and everyone would be like, wow, let's go see the bodies. And you're like, there's no time. The redcoats arrived. We got to go. You could just make shit up back then. That's true because

you would blend right in with the rest of the troop. Nobody could say where you were or where you weren't. But if the Jolly Green Giant is walking amongst you, everybody's gonna take note of that guy. You're gonna see some of this man's feats of strength. I don't know if you saw that, Rogan, but that guy was very interesting.

I listened to the whole thing. I liked him a lot. That guy's great. The way he would describe little just ancillary feats of strength he would do, not even the ones where it was like, yeah, I was doing Arnold Classic or whatever, and I did this and that. He'd just be like, yeah, we're shooting this TV show, and we're looking at old-timey feats of strength.

And so we got a yoke, which is like the yoke you put on an ox and then hang things from both sides he's like and it was yeah the the estimates are between like 400 and 1200 pounds so we just threw like 900 down there just to keep it kind of easy and it was like jesus christ like the the poundage this guy was talking about unreal like yeah just just throwing three or four hundred pounds on his back was just like the easy stuff that that he didn't he wouldn't even talk about he's like yeah you know it's only 400 or it's only it's only 500 like like they were talking about the log press where you pick that log up and press it over your head and uh like the first time he ever did it he broke the amateur uh world record. And his friend was like, what the fuck?

I've been trying to do that for years. He's like, well, new world record, I guess. And Joe's like, well, what's the professional world record? And he tells him what it is. And I think it's like, he did it in kilos, but it's 400 and something pounds, 420, I think. And Joe's like, when are you going to be able to break that? He's like, oh, I'd break it right now. I'm going to wait until I get to the show though. He had the American record already. He wanted the world one.

He's very strong. He hated deadlifts. The most convincing argument that he made to me, and I have no way to verify it, was that people who make a living with their body nfl players basketball players etc aren't doing deadlifts that the only good reason to do deadlifts is that you compete in the deadlift and there's enough youtubers out there telling me deadlifts are one of the most important exercises out there i don't know what to make of it yeah i mean he kind of changed my mind on it after i like watched a couple other videos i'll have to find him later i don't

remember who it was but like a lot of those other youtubers telling you deadlifts are integral like they they live and work for their body like that's their resume you know like they can't kind of ditch that you almost have to get to an echelon of being six foot eight and able to press a thousand pound log over your head where you can be like, oh, yeah, dead left. That's bullshit. Nobody's going to get in an argument with that guy and be like, no, no, idiot. What do you what do you know about this? And then he'll like pick up a fridge and throw it at you. You can't do that.

That was part of my made a lot of sense like he was like i think he even said like unless you are a thousand percent sure that you're doing it a hundred percent correctly not worth it like if you're some accountant or some guy who does something else for a living don't don't bother you can get upper and lower back strength from doing other things that was one of the things that made me question his advice because i wonder if he views it through the lens of a normal person right deadlifts hurt his back well sure for him to get a workout he has to pick up 750 pounds if he's an accountant maybe the spinal cord is completely capable of handling 97 pounds that that other guy would be lifting it's just a lift that that i feel like you have to you have to activate certain muscles like with knowledge

like i like when you press something or like do a bench press or a curl it's just sort of natural but there's something about the deadlift where like you have to use the right muscles it's not like breathing or your heartbeat it's it's where you're you're intentionally activating certain muscles and not others like it's it's uh i could definitely say i could get hurt i haven't done a lot of dead liftings and not certainly not since fucking high school when speaking of of lifting have you started the process of getting all your uh weight lifting stuff back into your place no my sleep schedule has been ruined this week dude it's it's i have been getting absolutely nothing accomplished sleep schedule destroyed. I am staying up not just all night, but half the next day.

Like I'm staying up until like 11 a.m. or noon and then going to bed and then waking up at like 6 p.m. or 7 p.m. We started recording at 7 Eastern. What time did you wake up today? I woke up at 6 p.m. and I almost hit the snooze button. What game are you playing that has you up all night? I watched a new TV show and that did it. I got so into Barry on HBO that I stayed up all night and into the next day watching it. Barry has Bill Hader, the guy from SNL who does all the impressions. He plays an assassin who wants to become an actor.

And so he has one foot in the assassin game in Los Angeles and the other in this sort of amateur acting class. Meanwhile, he's trying to court one of the actresses in that class. And it's just that it's a very dark comedy with occasional aspects of John Wick mixed in. He'll be in his acting class really... He's a terrible actor, but they keep getting these glimpses

of amazing acting out of him because he's just literally having emotional breakdowns due to his job. There's one episode where he has to kill someone who's very close to him because that person couldn't handle that they had found out that he was an assassin and they had gotten involved in some real fucked up shit he was like i'm just gonna go to the cops i'm just

gonna go to the cops he's like you can't do that you're connected to me he's like i'll never tell him about you he's like it won't matter you're connected to me they'll they'll put the pieces together he's like look i, I'm just going. I'm just going. And Barry just flips. He's like, why? Why did you say that? Why did you say that?

And it starts dawning on the guy that Barry might kill him now. He's like, you know what? I didn't tell my wife I was going to the gym. Like I said, I told her I was coming to hang out with you. And just Barry just shoots him in the face right there. Kills his good friend. And so that night he has to act in i think it's macbeth and they've given him the tiniest role in macbeth because he's such a terrible actor

he has to walk out and say my lord the queen is dead that's all he's got and and and so macbeth is being played by a woman in this uh in this play and it's actually his wannabe girlfriend and and he's in the back, losing his fucking mind because he just killed his friend. He's just pacing back and forth and pulling his hair out. He's not even wearing his costume. And when it's time for his mark, he's just bent over a thing, holding onto it like this. And he turns around and walks onto the stage with tears just pouring down his face and he goes my lord the queen the queen is dead she's dead and like the the lady's like everybody's just like holy fucking shit oh oh that's incredible this show sounds awesome i can't believe i haven't

watched this. There's two seasons of it. I want to say there's eight or nine episodes per season. There's one episode where he has to go assassinate a Taekwondo guy. And he doesn't know the guy's a Taekwondo champion. And he doesn't even want to kill him anyway. He goes in with a mask and he's like, Hey, so-and-so sent me to kill you.

I don't want to kill you. I'm not going to kill you. Let's get you out of state. You got family out of state? And the guy's like, yeah, Chicago. You're going to have to go back to Chicago for a year. And the guy's like, all right, cool. The guy's literally smoking a joint while he's having this conversation with Barry. And as they're walking through the guy's house to get his suitcase together, Barry starts taking note of hundreds of trophies and medals and a gi that's like in a frame on the wall and two Olympic gold medals and just like not 30 trophies, not 50 trophies, about 150 trophies.

He's like, what's with all this? He's like, Taekwondo. And then as soon as Barry's not looking, he goes, hi-yah! And he kicks Barry through a wall. And now they're fighting. And the Taekwondo guys begin super technical. And Barry's using marine training, punches him in the throat and crushes his trachea or whatever. Well, the guy's tough as nails. So he just runs in the other room and gets two nunchucks. And he's like Bruce Lee with him.

But he can't give himself enough oxygen to stay conscious. So he's slowly like going like the Energizer bunny running out of batteries. They like just whipping Barry with the fucking nunchucks. Barry finally defeats him. He's about to leave. He thinks the guy's dead. He's about to leave. The guy's daughter comes home.

She's like 11 or 12. She's wearing a gi she gets down in this low squat stance where her knees are above her like waist and goes and she comes at him like a spider monkey she's on his back with a cheese knife stabbing him in the back with it the whole episode is just bonkers like like most of the show is mostly rooted in like like there's no special effects in the show like she's like a dark comedy kind of yeah but this episode it goes off the wall with this little girl being like a literal ninja he's like i don't think she's human i don't i don't think she's human. I don't think she's from this world. Yeah, good show.

Check it out. I really, really liked it. It single-handedly ruined my sleep schedule because I started watching it like 11 p.m. And I finished the first season and it kind of ends on this little bit of a cliffhanger. And I'm like, gotta go to season two. Holy fuck. And it was noon by the time I was done with the show.

Before you said when we were pre-show and you're like, oh, I just woke up. I was going to ask. I'm like, so Kyle, now that you're eating super duper healthy all the time, getting all your lean meat and your veg and your fruits, has it fixed your sleep schedule? No, not my sleep schedule at all. Clearly not. I'm still getting my solid eight or 20 hours, but you know uh that that's you know it's just different times of the day i i uh i sent you that picture the other night that salmon that i had was for off the barbecue i put it on a a piece of cedar and i put the cedar on the barbecue and put it in there for like 15 minutes on at around 400

degrees on the barbecue grill that was incredible and then i made those fiesta beans and that rice and that creamed spinach that was a good meal the meal i sent that was uh that was broiled salmon with a bunch of shit on it and then uh what is rice pilaf what the fuck else is in there because there were these bigger things in there that tasted good i don't know what they were though i don't know what rice pilaf i don't think i've ever asked that question i've had it before but i yeah i don't know what rice pilaf is. I've never asked that question. I've had it before, but I don't know pilaf in any other context. I never hear about pasta pilaf or chicken and pilaf. Let's find out what pilaf is. I don't know what pilaf is.

I just know every time I've seen that, I'm like, oh, those things. I know that I like those things. A Middle Eastern or Indian dish of rice cooked in stock with spices, typically having added meat or vegetables. Yeah. It's very flavorful. It sounds a lot like a risotto. Yeah, it seems almost

exactly like a risotto. I feel full after the risotto. Mmm. Between pilaf and risotto. Mmm. Between pilaf and risotto. This is what people tune in for. Rice pilaf is made by first cooking the rice in a small amount of fat to cook the starch before the liquid is added. Okay.

Risotto is a creamy rice dish made with short grain Italian rice. They're very similar. All right. Well, there's your food trivia for today. You guys want to hear about this teenager that rammed into a cop because he couldn't see? Yes. Sure. A teenager is facing serious consequences after ramming into a police car and breaking a police officer's leg.

Benjamin Saranini says he had trouble seeing out of his windshield on Friday because the pot smoke fogging up his car windows. Oh, my God. hospital after undergoing surgery on monday a day after the incident he saw a newspaper about the injured cop realized he was in trouble he allegedly tried to get out of the car i'm sorry get rid of the car and its license plate so he couldn't be identified but the teen who doesn't have his driver's license yet agreed to turn himself in now this is my favorite he initially faced 14 charges including ramming an emergency vehicle, assaulting a police officer, conduct endangering life, and unlicensed driving. Instead, he will participate in a drug education program with strict requirements, including a weekly check-in.

Damn. It seems like turning yourself in really lessens the problems legally. But that's also like he broke a cop's leg. He couldn't see out the windshield because he hot boxed so bad. Rammed a cop. Broke his leg. The cop's still in the hospital at the time of this story. I want to know who his attorney is.

I got to have this guy's number. And people say that pot is safe. Well, let this be a lesson. Not at all. It's the most dangerous drug. It's a gateway drug. It's a gateway. Gateway to crack cocaine. And Cheetos. To crocodile. Crocodile, yes. You smoke pot once, you're on that crocodile. I can't believe he got off with a weekly check-in.

Maybe he's really rich or something. That seems to happen to rich people. I don't like any dealer who sells anything other than pot. If your pot dealer is like, hey, you want some pills? You're like, this is no good. This is no good. This is no good. No, don't give me fucking pills. Don't give me fucking pills.

Jesus Christ. No, don't worry. Fucking pills. Don't worry. Fucking pills. Jesus Christ. Like if they roll out some crystal methamphetamine or some anything harder than marijuana. I'm on the other end of this fence. I would like my hypothetical pot dealer to be able to offer anything else I want and not just crystal meth and stuff.

What if I want penicillin without the problem of going to a doctor or steroids? Oh, now hide me down. Steroids, huh? EPO? TJ Dillashaw looked great. Get me some EPO. I want all that shit. Dude, just go into any Gold's gym and find the seediest looking WAP in there

and go ask him for steroids and you'll find it. Like, you'll find him. Is that true? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, according to TV, what I've seen in shows, it's always some guys like, yeah,

I noticed you were struggling a little bit there with your deadlift. And it's like, well, we're in, we're in Missouri. Why are you talking like that? Nah, I just kind of adopted it after I started selling steroids.

Yeah. My name's Luigi Filadici. And you can buy it here. Yeah. Steroids would be a use yeah i can almost see that woody like you would want your drug dealer to be the walmart of drug dealers where you show up and it's like you're looking through glass cases seeing things and then well actually but those glass cases will be full of terrifying things like fentanyl and heroin who cares i i

he'll be like hey woody you want some fentanyl i'll be like no but what do you got in the epo line you know like i got a rash you got anything for that huh but see let's say you're at walmart drug dealer you go in he happens to get busted while you're there getting your your little bit of pot you're both busted for fentanyl heroin crack cocaine this that and you're just here for pot i don't know i don't know how that works apparently pot's a big problem my friend had two years worth of legal troubles for it that's true that's funny my friend too i know a guy like that see him every morning when i'm brushing my teeth yeah yeah well i there's no way that'll stick i feel like one thing for sure that always gets you in a ton of trouble is hurting a cop which on the flip side

i feel like you know how rapists and murder and pedophiles get fucked with in prison the most if you mess with cops are you like an upper echelon in the prison because they're like what are you around on a chair like at a bar mitzvah no no i don't think so i'm just a good guess i'm not even sure that the rapists have a hard time i think maybe the pedophiles would i've heard pedophiles don't always have a hard time i've heard that too i've heard that to be a successful pedophile excuse me for cutting you off, you have to be very charming, right? It's not easy to get into an 11-year-old boy's pants. So if you can talk the pants off an 11-year-old boy, then you can work your way into prison popularity.

I don't know. I feel like the Tootsie Pop and Night Quill approach isn't going to work on, you know, Neo-Nazi Steve over there. I bet it works. If I'm a bored prison Nazi... No, I don't want a sucker! Adolf! Get him! Tootsie Pop and NyQuil. When I'm in prison

and I'm a Nazi or something, I'll be like, Tootsie Pop and NyQuil? Actually sounds like a good way to pass the time. Yeah. I was buying some Tylenol cold and flu cough syrup when I was sick a few months ago, and they ID'd me. And I was like, what the fuck?

Why? Kids have colds too. She was like, you know how them kids is? They be making lean at this shit. And I was like, did you be cursing behind the counter, man? Yes. This is, yeah.

I got ID'd at Home Depot two days ago. I bought spray paint. Ah. They ID'd you. That's, yeah, I've been ID'd for spray paint. I've been ID'd for the stuff that compressed air you use to clean your screen and keyboard and stuff. I've been id'd for uh fucking r-rated movies what yeah yeah did they think you were 16 that's what i said i was like i mean i know but not you know i'm not 16

right come on come on she's. It's that skincare regimen. I have to ID everyone. No, you don't. I could blow through you and get right into that theater if I want. I, for one, I still buy tickets to PG-13 movies and sneak into R1's just for the rush.

That's my addiction. Have you ever bought a ticket, went into into the theater and just stayed all day no i've never i thought of it i'm too antsy i have to move around more than that i wouldn't want to watch that many movies back to back oh well they've got an arcade oh yeah okay i watched the movie timed everything right you know had my lunch there i figured if i'm eating a lunch here they're profiting plenty all right you know they're they're not losing a dime off me i just paid 18 for a hot dog a coke and some fries like like they're good plus i god knows that i mean that roll of quarters disappeared pretty fast playing area 51 so and with the with the arcade every once in a while you get the absolute

treat of seeing really really competitive ddr players which is it's just funny to watch you know because they're never anyone who like you'd be out at a music bar and they'd be out there cutting rug it's always some guy who would never dance in public who's just like they got their hand on the bar behind them to make sure that their stability is is clear like they're like half city like i don't know they're doing a dip the whole time and just using their feet like hands it's amazing it's pretty impressive i have a buddy uh this was god probably 12 years ago now but we were probably 16 or so and he had gotten pretty overweight and his parents were like hey you need to need to lose some weight like from a health perspective and he's like i'm not fucking running

i'm not fucking weight lifting i am building a ddr pad and i'll do that until i lose weight and he's like one of the smartest people i've ever met in my entire life and so he like went and bought touch sensors and like because he's like i remember i went over to his house once and he was like taylor get a load of this and he just showed me a listing from like ddr.com for one of their metal things i'm like yeah 1500 for for one that's quite a bit he's like yeah not doing that i went to home depot bought everything I needed for $160, and I ordered these sensor pads online. And he built a fully functional, screwed-in heavy metal

with grip pads on the bottom thing. And I was like, all right, okay, you're not going to lose weight on this. He lost a tremendous amount of weight doing Dance Dance Revolution to the point that probably six months later, I'd seen him multiple times but never while he was doing ddr i i watched him do one and his feet ah fleet feet yes so so fast like bruce lee would have been watching like how does he do it like that was how fast it was so if you're if you're fat out there and you don't want to run you don't want to lift weights you don't want to lift weights, you don't want to eat better, build yourself a DDR pad and get really into one of those I, I, I, my little butterfly, diddly, diddly, dee, doodly, doodly, do songs where it makes you step a lot.

Dude, if I'm a parent, I have mixed feelings. Like on one hand, great, my son, he's taking on a hobby. He's losing weight. He's getting fit. He's getting smart. That's great on the other hand why does the sound of my child losing weight have to be like jesus christ this whole house sounds like this you know what we like you fat i'm trying to watch tv at the age I was when I saw that

It didn't even register to me That it was clearly booming Resonating sounds throughout the house Yes Oh that would suck Take out the drums you make me crazy Speaking of self care Which is important everyone

We all need to practice self care I've always put like beard oil In my beard because it's supposed to be good for your skin and the health of your hair and everything. And recently, like in the last probably six, eight weeks, I was like, this shit's expensive.

I don't believe it's doing anything. Fuck that. And today I was like just absentmindedly at my computer, like scratching my chin. And I looked down at my shirt and there was like facial absentmindedly at my computer like scratching my chin and I looked down at my shirt and there was like facial dandruff on my shirt from dry face skin and so jokes on me I guess that beard oil isn't snake oil it actually does something so Jesus Christ I'm gonna need to be doing that so I and I can create a good bit of it right now, I bet.

Get a good bit of it going with my dry skin because I take very hot showers, and I think that oil was the only thing keeping my skin healthy. Taylor's new bit for the show, like, watch it snow. Yeah, watch it snow. Well, I'm doing good things with it. I'm collecting it in little piles and then selling it to kids on playgrounds as cocaine to teach them the value of learning who your drug dealer is before you buy not me i'm uh collecting it i put it in water sell it as bath water it's got dna in it

let me so funny i'm selling i'm selling teeth bags of face that's so funny but yeah so if you have a beard don't stop your oil regimen. That's not a joke. Holy smokes, this dude is dope. This guy is pretty fucking funny. He is pretty nuts. This guy's huge. He is a self-proclaimed juicehead.

And he's got some funny takes on things. It's good stuff. This is called Robert Frank 615. Yeah. Is there... I'm watching his most recent video. You guys want to cue it up? We'll play it.

Yes. Ready, set, play. What is it? What is this song? I didn't preview it. I paused it. It's got music. It's got music.

Yeah. Boom, boom, boom, boom. I didn't. If people don't know this, that's like the thing YouTube is super efficient at like ruining videos for. How about scroll down to the one where he's shirtless in his car? How about that one? All right.

Ready, set, play. In this episode of Jose and Shit, I want to tell you guys a story. Something that I saw with my own two eyes this weekend at the bar. There were a couple of bros and a couple of hoes out on a girl's night out. My boy was talking to this chick all night long. Make it out with her, feel her up right there at the bar. Mind you, her engagement ring was blinding the fuck out of me, depending on how the light was getting in. And no, my man was not her fiance, although he is jacked and tanned.

He could have gotten any chick in the bar he wanted, but that's besides the point. So I'm sitting there lamping in the back like the Mac with none of my gear black except my shirt, my jeans, and a little bit of my Louboutins, observing, watching all this shit go down. She tells him, I'm going to tell my man I'm going to bed. She gets up from the high top, walks over to the corner, and I can see with my own two eyes her tell her boyfriend

she loves him. She said, I love you. She loves him so much that five minutes later later my boy is knocking the stuff in off her egg mcmuffin all night long girls night out give me stranger at the bar buy me drinks and turn me out bros if you get that good night i love you text that means some other bro is banging her melon off the fucking headboard stay woke He's stuffing her egg McMuffin. I wish I could quote it. He was like, I'm not wearing any black

except for my shirt, my pants, and my shoes. You should see him like his full upper body, like shirtless. Physique. Looks good. His waist is impossibly small and ripped, while his chest and shoulders are impossibly wide and large. He's on so much steroids.

Yeah. That guy rules. Like just embracing it. Yeah, he absolutely does. I saw Rogan talking about this guy, and I started watching his shit. I wish I could find the one that Rogan played where he literally... I wouldn't say raps, but he definitely rhymes. What's on his head? Is that his shirt? What am I looking at? It's a do-rag, but his head is so big it probably is comprised of a shirt.

I don't know if I'm getting on board with the do-rag. Yeah, I don't know what's going getting on board with the do-rag Yeah I don't know what's going on With his hair at all Oh you'd like this guy a lot I see he's dressed as a clown if you scroll down enough Oh he could be my friend Yeah He's rear naked choking a sex doll

I like his chances of victory in there Yeah this guy's great Someone I tweeted For people to send me funny things for the show and someone sent me a porn hub link but it's not porn it's just a fat bbw uh who's at a public park fully clothed getting stuck in children's slides which must be a fetish for someone, because this has more views. I would like to watch that,

but I got a feeling that all around are embedded ads and links and such. Oh, you're right. But you can PM that to me, and I'll get a good laugh later. Can we watch the Coast Guard video? This thing's going kind of viral right now. Too fat for the suggested videos too fat for that bed breakers bbw trying on jeans breakers ss bbw ivy bounce car hood uh bored amateur bbw diaper girl fills jesus fuck

two suit ss bbw Is that even fatter? Super, super big, beautiful woman. I don't know what that is. Oh, I was going to tell you, tell you,

you should buy some beard oil from Kitty. Have you ever used to used her stuff? I haven't, but I I'm out right now. And so I'm open to a new, a new brand. If you go on Etsy, it's one tree lane.

Soapery. I'm sure she would appreciate the business. I use her soaps. I use a lot of her stuff. And she has beard oils and all sorts of lotions. And she makes everything like on the old-fashioned way. Ah, the way my grandfather made soaps. Absolutely.

She makes lip balm and beard oils and lotions and all kinds of stuff uh she literally makes it from hand like with no like chemicals that are like i don't know how i was how to say it but uh like apparently a lot of the the people that make soap themselves like did like the shortcut route where there's chemicals in there that aren't good for you but she's like she's doing in a very old-fashioned way. Nice. Then I'll patronize her store. Get some. Yeah. One, what is it again? One Tree Lane, right?

One Tree Lane Soapery, yeah. Yeah, we could watch the Coast Guard video. I've seen it. I don't know if you have. I have. I have not seen it. Really? I was...

Let's watch it and see. I'd do this. Really? I'm not too impressed with this guy. All right, are we ready? I have to get rid of adblock you fucks okay i'm ready uh hold on oh wow i have to click on it and wait 15 seconds oh i can't mute the ad, I can mute the tab. Well, you gotta take care of it, though. Ah. Screw you. It's funny, because of the show, every single news site on Earth is muted.

Like, because of all their autoplay. They autoplay so often, yeah. They should know by now. People hate that. All right, I'm ready. Ready. Yeah, I don't see any of those. Ready, set, play. So he's yelling in Spanish, and basically...

He's telling the boat to stop. Yeah, I'm sure they can hear him inside their submarine. That's a submarine. That's what I thought. Also, is this submarine not waterproof on the top or something? Can it go down? I don't know why it's not going down. That would be my strategy.

If I had a submarine... That'd be move number one. I don't think these boats have submarine finders. Sonar. Yeah, that's what it would be. When he jumped on, here's where I was shocked. He's not wearing swim clothing at all. He's wearing like 50 pounds of gear.

Yeah, he's got like guns and knives. What's in that backpack? Is he staying overnight on the back of that? What the heck? He has boots on? My mom said I could stay over. Open the hatch. That was actually the most impressive part to me.

If I had that if i had that job i would be wearing like a wetsuit with like a pistol maybe at the most i don't know i don't know what yeah like i'd be wearing swim trunks right like swim trunks and those grippy each toe goes into its own sleeve shoes where you can't slip. Right. That's what you'd want. If you're topside on a submarine, you got to look better than that. Taylor.

I think you want to an outfit that'll work, whether you're jumping into a submarine or, or just going for a nice little jog. Right. Like, like you probably can't have, you're not Batman. You don't have a special suit for every possible scenario. Oh,

no. Well, I don't even know what I just said. I would wear. You don't have a special suit for every possible scenario. No. Well, I don't even own what I just said I would wear. I don't have to go to the issues. I think that you could expect a Coast Guard submarine boarding outfit to be part of the deal. That's what he does. I'm guessing that this is the kind of submarine that doesn't actually go deep below the ocean. I think that it does what we saw there, is my guess.

Why not just take a boat around we saw there, is my guess. It's just a- Then why not just take a boat around? Because this has no radar signature, and you can't spot it with a pair of binoculars either. Hmm. Maybe a faster boat? I guess you cannot run a helicopter.

They use those a lot. They use really fast boats, but I think submarines are pretty common with, like, Rogan had a guy who uh had worked um he was some sort of mexican cartel interdiction officer or something like that like like he signed up to be a cop but then they handed him a machine gun and told him he worked for the army now like like you know and uh they were basically going to battle the cartel.

There was this hilarious part where he talked about the arms race that they had with the cartel. He's like, first we all had trucks with a little armor on them. And then the cartel showed up with this giant war rig, like something out of Mad Max, completely covered in armor. And there was nothing we could do because we had nothing that could penetrate it. So then we brought the helicopters in with rockets and they were able to take out the armored war rigs and you might think that that's the end of the story but then the cartel got rockets and they started shooting down the helicopters and it's like holy shit like the cartel got rockets yeah yeah the cartel has rockets all those cartels have like deep tendrils into real governments where it's like hey we're gonna

need some of these rockets and some of this and they're like oh well we would prefer you not to it's like yeah no we're taking them and you can stop me if you please. Do your parents still live at 123? They pull their wings of redemption. I see. I need a rocket. Quick question. Do you love your wife? Is your girlfriend's name Stacy Murphy?

Is her phone number 7703? What are you doing, dude? What are you doing right now? Is the video still up? Yeah, it's still up. Yeah, I watch it every Fridayiday on the clock that's part of kyle's classic just to remind me of that time when wings redemption threatened keemstar to his face at a peace arbitration for some sort of physical harm and and death like letting and his threatened

his girlfriend essentially and keemstar's like i know what you're doing you're trying to intimidate me he's like no i'm not trying i'm just trying to make sure that all of this information that i have on you and where you live and what your phone number is and what your girlfriend's name is is accurate it's like what are you gonna do with that information nothing this is like dude you're trying to threaten me right now and and I'm not afraid of you, Wings. I love when you guys tweet me horrible jokes. My wife caught me having sex with my

daughter. You should have seen the look on her face. I don't know if it was because I was having sex with my daughter, or because she didn't know the abortion clinic let us keep her. That's terrible. A plus to you, my friend. Mr. Matt. I saw a clip of Wings

the day before yesterday that I'd never seen before. And it was when he did this podcast with eight viewers in 2017. I don't know who the other guys are. I shouldn't have even mentioned them. But you're not talking about the podcast show with White Boy and the gang. No, I know those guys. I didn't know who the other guys are I shouldn't have even mentioned it But you're not talking about the podcast show with White Boy and the gang No, I know those guys I didn't know these guys though

And so Wings is on their show They don't seem to know him very well But that was kind of the sense I got from the two minute clip I think he's just like a guest Like we have sometimes Guests who have no idea what's up And they're talking about maybe retirement Or like end goals nest eggs that

sort of future sort of planning type stuff and wings goes i'll tell you what my plan is two more years i'll have my house paid off house then i'm gonna take this gun and he pulls out the 1911 takes the magazine out and this hollow point bullet I'm going to blow my fucking brains out. And they all go. Wait, what? We usually talk about FIFA and Mario and the new Smash Brothers. Apparently retirement plans. 401Ks and FIFA.

Why pay off your house before you kill yourself? I was confused about that too. Leave it for granted. If I could just make my last car payment, then I won't have any more. Then I have no more obligations. As I finish paying off my house, I'll have insurmountable problems.

I'd never seen him. I'd heard him allude to killing himself on Twitter. But here he was pulling the gun and the with the bright bullets in it and being like i'm gonna blow my brains out with this right here in two years as soon as this house is paid off and it was like fuck and they all reacted like as you would think they would they were just like who the fuck are you what the fuck are you talking about don't do don't don't do it we need to have wings as a

guest on the show i think that would no we don't that would be no he won't first of all he won't come second of all i don't want him like like he's not coming he's totally not coming he's not he would never he's not wanted he's the worst he's the worst he's the worst you you got you you're not caught up with his videos you don don't watch the horrible person he is day in and day out. Is he still doing it? Because in my mind, first of all, what you said is right. I'm not as steeped, especially in the current stuff. But my impression was he was on Lexapro and kind of just chill.

Well, he's adjusted because he's a real piece of shit like he always was. Like just super rude. Grandma will come in like, Jordy, I'm going to the store. Do you need anything? No, Grandma. I've told you not to come in here. There's a whole post called Wings of Elder Abuse. Yeah, he's an elder abuser. I saw that.

Being short with your grandma is an elder abuse. No, he wasn't even that short. We don't see what happens off camera. Wait, I might have the link. It could even be elder abuse no i don't have the link anymore i could find it but i think that they overblew it that he just like she's like you want anything he's like no and like she presses him he just doesn't he wants to be in his own world in the while he's doing his streaming yeah i saw a longer version where

he's just very rude to her he's just very rude to her is all and you know she's just trying to try to be nice to him or whatever oh that's sad he's poor old lady i think sometimes i insert the fill in the blanks i mean to say in the nicest possible way which isn't always accurate right like i i'm like well maybe he just doesn't want grandma exposed to the internet and all the abuse that comes with it no he won't he just wants to be left alone so he can play rainbow is that a big game at all i never hear anyone talking about rainbow i it look i don't i don't care for the game personally it's it's one of those games where like you get shot once in the head and you're just dead so it's it's there's a lot of like just just holding corners and holding like hallways and stuff with guns and being super tactical it's definitely not for me i think it's fairly good sized on twitch like it's probably in the top 10 of like shooters or something like that for what for what that's worth but uh but it's his

game of choice okay is this video i just linked the monkey one you guys were talking about this is the monkey video okay i haven't watched this yet i was excited to watch the monkey video neither have i but i am down oh it's not very long it's 36 seconds yeah well monkeys get it done right ear audio only the way the indians like it oh man yeah so you're gonna want to adjust oh this feels awful all right i'm ready uh i'm just uh making it as big as possible all right ready set play I'm just making it as big as possible. Ready, set, play. Guy pulls up on his moped. This is terrible. Look at that monkey stalking him.

Oh, in the background? Yeah. They're on him. They're on him. Two monkeys after him Oh yeah he's got a little defense going He needs to put in some offense Give that thing a kick

Where did all of these monkeys come from Give it a kick Don't you want an hour of that I need to know how it ends They ate him Let me see They killed him and ate him Don't you want an hour of that? I need to know how it ends. They ate him. Let me see. They killed him and ate him.

They devoured that poor Indian man. Those monkeys were like the size of a medium, not medium-sized dog, but like bigger than a small dog. That's not like a Jack Russell Terrier-sized monkey. That's like a, I don't know, that looked like a 25-pound monkey that one did. Those look big. Yeah, and they have fangs.

And they got dirty little fucking fingernails to scratch you with. And I bet they're filthy, too. I bet if they cut you or bite you, they scratch you or bite you, that's a guaranteed infection. But he's probably pristinely clean. The two things, one, he makes his living selling incense sticks so he might smell delightful and two he got away and had rabies injections

oh yeah well at least he got it taken care of so you remember they used to have you ever had to get right rabies shots anyone yeah they they did the multiple injections in your stomach no just one oh we maybe had a rabies prevention shot, right? Like the vaccine. There's a vaccine? Am I wrong about that? That must be what I had then. I might be wrong.

I'm also not good at keeping track of my vaccinations. I'm hoping my parents took care of that. Well, you do have a touch of the autism, so I think they kept pretty up-to-date on it. That's true. I got a touch of the tism. Yeah. So I think I'm good in that. You're a little tismatic.

Yeah, that monkey thing, that is so fucking funny, especially the way that even after he thinks he's retreating and he turns around again, two more monkeys fall in behind him. It's like they had tactics, you know, preliminary tactics expecting him to go that way. It's like, they've done this shit before. What was their end goal, though? To eat him? To steal his incense

sticks, hoping he had fruit or mangoes in his pockets? Like, what do you think they were going for? I don't know. Mangoes are delicious. Guy who smelled like lavender. I'm gonna take him down. They seemed angry with him. Like maybe he wasn't supposed to be there. Like they felt like he was intruding on their territory.

Maybe. Monkeys are mean. They're almost, well, some monkeys are mean. They're almost as mean as birds. Or at least these ones looked almost as mean as birds. There is a rabies vaccine, by the way. But they don't give it to everyone. They give it to people who are at high risk of coming into contact.

Yeah. I had a friend who was playing tennis, you know, nighttime tennis court. And he's doing that thing before you serve. You toss the ball up and catch it repeatedly. And the bat sonared in on the ball and followed it back to his hand and bit him on the fucking hand. Wow.

Shit luck. And nowadays, I think they give you a single shot, like a single injection but back then and this wasn't even that long ago like maybe 10 12 years ago it was multiple injections in your stomach like you had to go back like every week or something like that and get another one i bet that hurts to get an injection in your stomach i've heard better than dying so i think kyle's right when i was a kid that was the thing they would tell you to scare you away from animals they're like you do you see a squirrel or a rabbit or something that's injured

rabies shots 15 shots to the stomach the needle is this long and like they'd be like oh my god no i don't want that yeah but rabies is one of those diseases that once you start to show symptoms of it you're already dead right fatal yeah yeah rabies is fatal if uh you let it go too far you get like lockjaw you can't swallow and because you can't swallow your mouth is like foaming up i've always said like if i were some sort of warlord in the future i would start like a zombie adventure park that you would have to pay to come and you know kill zombies in and the way to create a zombie is to inject homeless people with rabies and let it take its course. They get angry. They're foaming at the mouth. They're violent. You need a lot of homeless, though, because there's going to be a good deal of turnover with those zombies.

There's going to be a lot of homeless in the future, I feel, in this apocalyptic scenario where I've become a warlord. Yeah. Yeah. If you're the warlord, I don't doubt it there's gonna be winners and losers in kyle's future you're a job creator there you go it's part-time jobs and very temporary i'm a temp here yeah me too oh god i hate them Not even humans This is homeless people we're talking about not even humans I didn't say that

How dare you You're not very woke Woody We're all woke None of us be sleeping It's 2019 they're real estate impaired They're dom estate impaired. They're domicile challenged. I know there's a lot of reasons, but like, okay, if you go to Skid Row, right?

I think that's the name of the place in like LA Hollywood where there's literally like 1,500 homeless people all bundled together. What's the most common reason they're there? Is it mental illness? It could be. Drug addiction? I would say those are the top two. Drug addiction. Yeah, and they go hand in hand.

I bet it's hard to find a mentally ill guy who doesn't have some drug addiction and a drug addict who doesn't have some mental illness. You know what I mean? Yeah. Definitely. Yeah, but like I said on, I think I told,

I had this point of view on our last Hangout, become a patron, and you can hang out with us for four hours on the weekends. It's a lot of fun. I think, if you pay $50, I think my point of view was, look, if any of us became, quote unquote, domicilically challenged and became a hobo, someone would take us in. We all have somebody, and multiple people. We all probably have half a dozen people, at least we could think of, who would take us in. Taylor would be in his grandparents' farm at some point. You'd be at one of your buddy's houses or something like that.

Maybe go to my guest house. You don't have a guest house scenario. You don't just lose one home. Jackie's taken everything. She got a very good judge and lawyer, and she's taken everything. The woodwork can travel dozens of miles north in the air, seeking another home.

She's taken the paramotor, too. Uh-oh, looks like this one's already taken the farmer's like the fuck are you thinking should you come into my house another night searching for a home yeah like like you know but but that's because we're all decent human beings. Like baseline decent to have someone who will take you in, I would argue. You don't have to be the best person. Almost everyone has someone, and not everybody has family. I get that. But we've all got a friend.

I've got friends who would take me in. Chiz would totally set me up If I needed to go somewhere I know I would he's got some real estate He'd put me in one of his places Alright These people who end up homeless on the street Are human fucking garbage Alright

They don't have a family member A friend an associate A hanger on Nobody that they've ever crossed paths with will be like, yeah, man, you can crash on my couch. Yeah, man, just throw a blanket on the floor. Yeah, man, I got an old car in the back. You want to put a pop-up tent in the backyard? They can't even get to that. So they're on the streets because of this. So by this rationale, I say they're all pieces

of shit, mostly. I mean, some are just crazy and like, I don't know, fucking shoving gummy bears up their assholes and dancing in the streets all night, but like the ones that aren't that out of this world crazy are just pieces of shit, and that's why they have to be out there on the street, right?

Pete with a pretty broad brush there. Yeah, yeah. Well, we're not known for our nuance. No. No, Kyle's entirely convinced me. I'm sorry. So next time you're driving down the street late at night, nobody's around,

no cameras, you're in your truck, you see one of these fuckers hobbling across the street. Who's to say he didn't stumble out in front of you? If he's hobbling, you're probably not even the first. There you go. I saw that fucking asshole today on the side of one exit

when I was driving around. Same guy I mentioned before, who during the winter, he's wearing track pants or sweatpants and during the summer summer he's got his jorts on with one leg like taped up behind it and it's like i remember you pick a different exit it seems like he should have one leg in the winter it's way easier disguise yeah more clothes yeah he could have a trench coat necessarily a critical thinker

he waits until his shorts and t-shirts weather to hide a leg yeah i don't know yeah and he has the sign just says help a veteran and it's like you fucking liar you you're pretending to have i wonder what the sign's gonna say in the winter i've never paid attention when he's no longer a veteran, he's now just homeless or something, and he has both his legs. He's clearly trying to right now play up the one leg thing. Yeah.

And you want me to move seats for this piece of shit? I think not. This asshole hippity hopping his way. If you think I'm going to wait until they unload those caskets to get off, you've got another thing coming. That's what Woody says. Right, it's always me.

You're the one! I didn't say that. You didn't say that. No, you didn't. He said it. You know, I think that's actually pretty fair. Why do the dead get to get off before we do? They're getting off down there, like underneath the plane. Is that really really a thing I've never seen.

Yeah. Yeah. They'll take the caskets out first and you all have to wait on the plane, but it's like, we're, they're not impeding us from getting off. Now you're just putting a damper on my spirits. Remembering that we're fighting in a war that none of these good folks had to

die for in the first place. Just let me get in there and buy a $9 fucking pretzel from Auntie Anne's and forget this in a bath of butter and sugar. That's those are good pretzels they're so good you can taste like the amount of butter i i feel like they make those pretzels and you know how you use just like a whole stick of butter sometimes and on your corn cob and you rub it down and you can see the middle of it forming and everything i feel like that's what they do with a whole stick of butter taylor no like i'll say that you don't put a whole stick on there but you take the stick of it forming and everything. I feel like that's what they do with those Wetzel's pretzels. A whole stick of butter, Taylor? No, I'll say that you don't put a whole stick on there, but you take the stick of butter and you start rubbing it on the outside.

I think that's what they do with those Wetzel's pretzels because it's just magnifyingly amazing. When's the last time you had one? I may be glorifying it because it's probably been three or four years. Oh, okay. To me, it was coming from a place of recency. It's why I asked. No, those remember them being great. like airport uh food most of the time so expensive it's really expensive though

yeah yeah drinking at the airport it's crazy expensive you're trying to get drunk before the the flight that gets ridiculous do you ever get air sick no i've never been air sick before now no nothing like that i only get sick from uh like spinning i think if i drank before a flight it'd get worse i'd be awful i uh i like to sleep on the flight and a few uh a few drinks definitely helps that uh so i'll i'll have a couple uh before i get on the plane have one more on the plane get my oversized pillow that i bring from my own bed wedged up into that wall i bring an enormous pillow and i just like like like that like like like i don't have to like lean my head all the way over here it's just like there's a girl printed on it it's one of

those body pillows you still yeah my wife yeah and uh no it's just an enormous gel pillow. And it's one of the ones that stays cool all the time. Like the cool side of the pillow is the best side. And mine is always fucking cold. Like almost too cold. It's wonderful. It's a wonderful thing. Yeah, I bring that bitch on the plane, though.

That's my carry on. Is it heavy? A gel pillow? Yeah, it's not light. It's not like a regular pillow. It's heavy. No. Yeah, I would guess it's a solid eight pounds like like it's it's not like 20 or 30 pounds or anything like it's not a it's not strenuous it's still a pillow

but it's definitely got some heft to it if you get in a pillow fight with this they're gonna know they got hit i sleep on the plane but the thing is I have sleep apnea, right? Kyle, you've heard me sleep, right? We used to do movie nights and stuff. I, I, sometimes I'll wake up and I'll be like,

what happened while I was asleep? Like, was the whole plane watching? How loud was I snoring on this? This is a, like, are you just all being polite? And I didn't just snore insanely super loud.

You, uh, you're probably better now now now that you've got the uh the c-pap or the b-pap or whatever it is um but i'm better when i use it i don't think it cures you though ah bring that bitch on the plane i'm sure nobody will mind that at all you know it's super silent oh's a shame. I wish you had the really loud one. My dad... Oh, did they used to be loud? I thought my dad's was loud. I don't know. I haven't seen it in years and years. Yeah, no, mine you would not.

You barely hear mine if you put your ear on it. Okay, I'm probably just imagining that. I'll never forget that scene from The Sopranos when Uncle Junior's been prescribed one and he puts it on onto the doctor's office, and Tony sees it, and he goes, how many planes you shoot down with that thing? Yes.

Oh, gosh. Dude, I got a story. So that made me feel bad about my sleep apnea. That scene hurt my feelings, right? As it would. You know, like he's mocking the guy who's just like, I was going to say you, but me in this case. And it's like, oh, that's just my reality. Well, like a year and a half later, some guy writes me and he has sleep apnea.

And he's like, it's awful. I'm not sleeping. It's constant it's it's all these things and uh he was in a serious relationship with his girlfriend and one of his big drawbacks just like one of mine was that like he didn't want to i don't know just look imperfect in front of her when they slept and i'm like flip it around like would you like her less if she wore it and He said no. I said no. I wouldn't care. It wouldn't be the way.

It's just not a way that I measure someone that I'm with. That wouldn't fly. That's not going to work. Kyle's girl's got to have ten fingers and a wide throat. Jesus Christ. I don't know where we got to that.

Wide throat? I think that's literally what makes you snore but I'm just sort of like you I thought you were going for oral sex somehow No deviated septum having bitches No, none of that, no And I can make fun of that because I am a deviated septum American

We're a proud people Sometimes we have whistly breathing. I have everything. I have a deviated septum. I have, I guess, maybe a big tongue and like a narrow throat. I went to an ENT and I was like, I want the surgery that stops snoring.

I've told this before. And he's like, nope, you snore for like six different reasons. Even if I went in there, you'd still be like mostly bad medically you're what we call totally fucked my dad loves him it was uh his it was uh it was like it was life changing for him because he had snored for you know 55 years or something like that of his life and growing up his bedroom door would be closed down the hallway to my bedroom

my bedroom door is closed and i i could still hear the the crazy loud snoring and his bedroom was really big so like it actually like came into play with noise carrying from his actual bed across his bedroom through that door down the hall like like we're probably almost 100 feet apart and there's two doors it was absurd it was absurd how loud he was and like whenever we would go on some sort of a vacation or something and i would have to share a room with him oh fuck me i remember like we traveled to to griffin georg, to compete in this sporting clay shooting tournament one time when I was maybe 17. And I was just like, well, I guess I'm not getting any sleep tonight.

I'll be good and fresh in the morning for the competition, I guess. Fucking nonsense. You said it was life-changing for him. He's not getting restful sleep either if he's in the same situation as me. When I got that, I woke up and it's like oh my god you people are all waking up like this like you guys have been getting restful sleep and and you don't want to nap in the middle of the day and like oh yeah you've had life cheat codes yeah yeah i know he's he's really happy with it. And I think anyone who's sharing a room with him is too now. Yeah.

I haven't shared a room with a stranger. You know every once in a while you go someplace, you share a hotel room. We've done it. Yeah, we've shared rooms a lot. I have not shared a room with anyone since I got the CPAP. I just buy my own because I'm still sensitive, I guess. Aww. You should strap it on on the show and break the seal.

You should do a show wearing the CPAP. That that's not good advice that's how you do it you jump in with both feet in front of a hundred thousand people that would be such a bad idea what if we all wore a c-pap would that make you feel better about it i you guys can knock yourselves out taylor i'll send you a link. You need a prescription. It doesn't make any sense that you need a prescription, but you can't just buy them. I'm going to get one off the Asian market.

I'm going to handle this right now. Maybe you could. Am I falling for an online prank with this forum? No, it's a real thing. You're talking about the people with the waifu pillows and stuff? Yeah, because I feel like I'm being had. No, it's a real thing.

It borders on mental illness, in my opinion. I've seen pictures of guys having dinner with their parents, and they've brought their waifu with them. Oh, those poor parents yeah you can see the shame in the parents eyes you can you can it's palpable you can taste the shame if you go down to the seventh post it's a picture of that guy from yugioh and it's got like a thousand little uh yugioh cards and a cake and a bunch of other pictures of him if you didn't have a girlfriend how realistic would the sex doll have to be before you would make it your girlfriend?

I couldn't do that. I'd feel like I was going crazy every day. More realistic than this pillow is. This is a cardboard cutout, so more realistic than that. Definitely more realistic than the cardboard cutout. We're talking about some artificial intelligence here. What if she walks around, she greets you,

she can answer your questions and stuff, but she's really got no soul and she's not able to... You can't tell her a joke and you share your day with her and she's like, that's wonderful, dear. Would you like to fuck my throat again? That's pretty much all

she's got going for her. But she cooks really well. She keeps the place incredibly clean. She washed her car. She cuts the grass. Done. She doesn't have that much battery power. Well, hold on.

Because you were starting to sell me with the yard work stuff and the cooking. No, you'd feel like a madman. You would slowly lose your sanity. But if you cheat on her, she gets noticeably jealous. What does she do? Well, at first

it's just cutting remarks. You know? I'm dealing with a lippy bitch who's not even real. Fuck this whole thing. No, I'm going to turn her off. She's got even real Fuck this whole thing I'm gonna turn her off She's got batteries What the fuck is she gonna do She charges herself

Please Sebu Taylor don't turn me off No When you wanna trim the hedges Twitch a toe and I'll turn you back on But until then you're living in the Shadow realm I don't think we're that far from that Couldn't you pick up a pink haired one and I'll turn you back on. But until then, you're living in the shadow realm. I know that's a Yu-Gi-Oh! I don't think we're that far from that.

Couldn't you pick up a pink-haired one? Like, alright, this one got lippy because I cheated on her. This one I've never cheated on. New waifu. I think maybe you just pop the hard drive off, blow in it like an N64 cartridge, plug it back in, and she forgets all about whatever happened.

I don't think we're very far from that. This one can't be real. 64 cartridge, plug it back in, and she forgets all about whatever happened. Bit bleach. This one can't be real. My life-size, custom, anatomically correct Squidward plushie arrived this week. No, that's not a pussy on Squidward, is it? Link it, link it. I gotta see Squidward's cunt. Oh no, it doesn't have a pussy. It looks like it might in the smaller

thumbnail image. He's a boy. Duh. Oh. Oh my god, that is life-size. He's put a fucking polo on it, boys. Well, that's what Squidward wore, right? I don't fucking know. I didn't watch that Degenerate show.

I watched Spongebob. I thought Spongebob was funny. I hated Spongebob so much. I think it's such a stupid fucking waste of time of a show. I haven't watched it in many years, but when I was younger, I thought it was hilarious. Yeah, I just remember when I was 16 waking up at a party and being super hungover and nauseous,

and this fucking kid was watching SpongeBob, and maybe that just imprinted on me in that way, that I was having that horrible, sickening, nauseous feeling and Spongebob was on. That's the first time I was exposed to Spongebob. I was just like, this makes me sick. He was doing his

annoying laugh. Show me on the Squidward where he hurt you, Kyle. This is deep and painful we're hearing. It was awful. These pillows are disconcerting. Like, if this is going to be your wife, I'm sorry, your waifu,

you should give it a pussy hole, give it arms, legs. These are either cardboard cutouts or just long body pillows with a picture of an Asian anime character on it. You can cuddle with them. There's another Squidward. You can cuddle with a body pillow

shaped like a... I'm still not convinced this isn't a joke. Or at least some of these people are joking. Nobody's snuggling up with Squidward being like, oh yeah, baby, give me a tentacle job as you put it on your own dick. A tentacle job as you put it on your own dick. A tentacle job?

Yeah. Oh, actually, no. Tentacle porn, that's big in Asia. Maybe this plays right into that. Yeah, that's just because they can't depict real penises, though. The tentacles are okay. This guy traveled the world with his waifu. Oh, Lord.

Oh. He had to buy two plane tickets for this. No, he didn't. No, he didn't. Was he throwing his waifu and is it carry-on? Or is he bringing her, like, throwing her in the storage hole? Kyle brought his pillow. It seems like he should bring his.

Mine's for napping on. You can nap on one of these pillows. They sleep together. I don't think they have pussy holes. No. They all look pillow shaped. Having dinner with a Pokemon character or something.

Alright. I'm doing that thing where if you spend too long looking into the abyss, the abyss looks back into you. I'm not looking at the waifu form anymore. Dude, let's talk about Google for a second. What's Google up to? Do they have a new phone or something? Kind of. It's funny you say it that way.

Google employees listen to customers' audio recordings on Google Home smart speakers, the technology giant has admitted. Language experts are employed to analyze snippets of recordings by users, which Google claims helps improve its voice recognition technology. So, Google sells these speakers. You put them in your house and you can say, hey, Alexa. I think that's Google. You know, play whatever, some song. Well, they're recording this and they're sending parts of it back. And something like 2% of all recordings get listened to. Google is claiming by these pretty much computer scientists that they can make their language recognition better.

But it's not just like, hey, Alexa commands. it's random conversations that are getting recorded and sent back and i if i remember right one of them was like dutch audio that was leaked that wasn't supposed to be leaked and what was the percent you said two percent uh point two percent and that's what they're admitting to that thing that thing is hearing every word you're saying. I worked with a client recently and accompanied them to a Google meeting. And at the end of it, Google, because they're so fucking rich,

they're like, everybody, Google Homes for all. And they handed out Google Homes to people. And I took mine out of the box. And I'm like, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. I'm not setting this up in my home so you can hear me be a retard on my own time. No.

So Facebook has taken a ton of heat for their lack of privacy, right? Everyone knows Facebook's listening to you. They listen to you like on your phone. And the things that you share with it are just used and they're shared with advertisers. And then they're shared in ways that you didn't even agree. Like Facebook, everyone knows, is a privacy nightmare. And Google gets a total pass for reasons I don't understand. It's so ridiculous.

They're embedding devices in your house and recording you all the time. Yeah. It's fucking like end timesy kind of stuff. It's creepy. Like that level of power for a few corporations to hold. Like everybody was complaining, I think this was a year or two ago, where they're like, hey, I had my Facebook app open on my phone and I talked about kitty litter. I think that was the clip. And then I got served a bunch of kitty litter ads. Huh? That's weird. It's like this thing is listening to you 24-7. Yeah, people with no cats. You know, like, so this is a brand new thing that they're testing it with, and I don't know. I just want people to know

Google is just like Facebook. Maybe worse. I have another video from this Robert Frank guy. I like this one a lot. This guy's great. Ready, set, play. frank guy um i like this one a lot this this guy's jacked and tan i'm ready ready set play today is monday international chess day the most glorious day of the week and this morning i got

this fuck boy in my dm leaving me a 12 paragraph essay telling me how i'm the antichrist of the fitness industry he said i'm nothing more than a stereotypical juice head that needs to lay off the gear because i'm not gonna live to see 50. When are these bitch ass motherfuckers gonna learn that juice head is the highest compliment you can give a gym bro? What I eat doesn't make you shit. So bring on the trepoloni sandwiches and shots of clen because I got some fucking work to do. Unlike this motherfucker whose hobbies include spin class, spending time with his Yorkie and romantic walks to the smoothie bar. Yeah, motherfucker, I checked out your page and I got one question for you. Do you even fucking lift? There's only two things in life that I give a fuck about. My neck's

set, and getting my noodle wet. And after this sick fucking chest pump, my pecs are gonna be popping out of the top of my deep V-neck T. And I'm gonna have the hottest chick in the bar, down on her knee, screaming, please, Robert Frank, give me the D. And maybe I won't live to see 50, but who gives a fuck? Bury me in a double-wide casket, motherfucker, and make sure you give me a spray tan

before you close the box, because I want to be the most jacked and tanned motherfucker to die that day. This guy is great. This guy is running away with cool guy of the week. I like it. I want to be the most jacked and tanned

to die that day. I'll be in a double-wide casket. That's the best one. You know how, like, the game on YouTube keeps stepping up, stepping up, right? Like, you know, if you're a gaming commentary guy in 2009 or something, you just barely have a topic picked in mind in advance and you don't have any camera and you just show gameplay and maybe HD. Now, you know, you've got your image superimposed. You've got scripts. You've got, you know, your image superimposed. You've got scripts. People are just stepping up their game all the time. To me,

he's the new peak of this guy. He has scripts that he's reading. This is prime content right here. No one's better than him, Jack and Tan. I don't use Instagram at all, but this guy must be at the tippity top because he's making me laugh really he reminds me of that gym bro uh on youtube i don't remember what his

name uh bro fitness or bro lifting something dom mazzi god it's not that but it's dom something yeah yeah that guy i don't know he's very funny yeah that guy's super funny and uh but he stopped making videos i think i think he's completely stopped and i can check on that and uh but in one of his videos he made like a subtle thing he's like it's really hard to come up with new content lifting by definition is really repetitive yeah it really is i like how you would always find ways to just turn any video into like, and then when you're done pretending to have done leg day, back to curls.

And bench pressing. Yeah, bench pressing and curls. You want to give him a word from one of our fantastic sponsors tonight, Kyle? Yes. Yes, indeed. This episode is brought to you in part by Squarespace. This episode is sponsored by our friends over at Squarespace.

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Check them out. Yeah, this Robert Frank guy is fucking hilarious. I wish I could find the one that Rogan played, because it's almost like a rap. It all rhymes rap it all rhymes it all rhymes it's fucking hilarious it's really good yeah

I didn't want to put down Dan Blazer I know he's a friend of you and a friend of the show but I feel like this guy is just taking it to the next level that's a different thing Dan's sort of showing you a fantasy world that you would like to's you know it's different thing dan's sort of showing you like uh like like sort of a fantasy world that that you would like to obtain um you know he's like he's a multi-millionaire and he's he's got houses and the cars and lots of women and he also does the

gun stuff and the travel stuff this guy's a gym bro who does lots of steroids he's an entertainer yeah whereas dan's like a guy, an actual person. Different things. Yeah. I think we talked about UFC on PKN. So I guess we got that covered. What's the next thing that's happening? Next fight?

I know fucking... What is the next thing that's happening? I thought there was something on the horizon. Oh, Khabib. Khabib is fighting Poie yeah well not not directly but in like a month i think i think it's about a month from now uh they're fighting so that one's pretty interesting uh but but otherwise i guess there's nothing else really going on um it's in september that fight you're talking about okay yeah there are some interesting ones

cormier versus steep a and nate diaz versus pace oh yeah that's a big one oh and romero versus costa the juice head like battle of the juice heads yeah that one's very interesting to me it's it's it's they both have such incredible physiques. They look like this guy. They look like real juice heads. But yeah, I hope honestly, I like Cormier enough to want him to win, but I like the outcome of Stipe winning more because I'd rather see

Stipe fight John than Cormier fight John again because I've seen that twice before. They're only getting farther apart in skill, not closer together. And I'd rather see Stipe fight John. In my head, Cormier's career is going to end on a loss, right?

He's over 40. I know you can't do the eye test, but I don't see him getting more athletic. And he's just a guy who's going to lose one and then hang it up. So for his own health, I kind of want that to happen. You know what?

Let's steep a win, make it gentle, a rear naked choke for me, a retire going ESPN. Do you think? Yeah, I think he's trying to like rack up enough cash, uh,

to, to ensure like a healthy retirement. Um, and like, I'm sure he's looking at the dollar dollar signs that a john jones fight would be that's probably several million dollars for him i i hope at this point he's just padding the score right i think he has enough to retire already that he's done well speaking of padding the score go on do you did you see how much robert denny jr got paid for the last avengers movie No. He got like 20 million cash and 8% of the gross.

The gross is $2 billion, right? Maybe it was like the adjusted gross, like after costs or something. I want to say the total came to around $75 million, regardless. Good for him. Yeah. He got half a million for the first one. Think of how much cocaine he can buy with that oh he's not going back on the coke you leave robert alone he was a guy who i thought

i think everybody thought was not going to recover from his addiction i don't know how he did it he seems like a reliable good guy now but he routinely bad. The judges would berate him for his idiocy. He liked to have a good time. He did. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was not very long after the cocaine stuff, I don't think. He looks better now than he did then. He's thin, chiseled face. Well, it looks better. There's a lot of ways to measure that, but I think he's thinner now than he was in some of those days. He was chubby speaking of like judging people uh did you see the jason momoa dad bod stuff yeah but like the guy the guy he's clearly a guy who cycles and he's just off it right now

no no my point is his picture where he has, quote, dad bod. Oh, he's fitter than 97% of people in this country. He's not at all fat in that. He's still got those, I don't know what it's called, but that line where it goes down, like a Donnis belt or something like that. He's got that going. You can see his stomach is filled out because he's gained a little bit of fat, but that's normal when you're not having to cut for a film. He's got that going he's still you can see he's like his stomach is filled out because he's gained a little bit of fat but that's normal when you're not having to cut for a film good dick yeah he's got a good good dick root he's like it just blew my mind that they've said for so long

like yeah women they love dad bods and then it showed a bunch of comments yeah i showed jason and a bunch of frumpy bitches yeah yeah yeah that picture a bunch of frumpy bitches in the comments like oh my god i can't believe that that's that to take up he needs to take up lifting again he needs to start lifting like it showed a bunch of comments from frumpy ass bitches online talking about it it's like this is evident like women don't like dad bod but who are these arrogant arrogant cunts thinking that this is a dad bod he looks great you can see a lot of musculature under there good for jason momoa like sure he's not shredded right now but it's not natural to be that shredded all the time

you need somebody who who are the people who think this is dad bod like who were their fathers i'm trying to nigger like like i wonder how much better he'd look if he just got pumped up. Like 10 minutes of some push-ups and sit-ups and flexed. I feel like he's right next to a good body. If he diets for four weeks hard, then he's movie ready. He's two weeks from a six-pack if he cuts everything out. I think he looks great there. His stomach isn't just flat. It's taut. There's hints of it there's hints of the six pack his pecs look

good his biceps look real big his shoulders look a little small i guess but look at his fucking traps like solid traps solid forearms cute little belly button Great dick root. I can't say enough how great the dick root is on this guy. Who wants to fuck him, dad bod or not? Oh, I'm sorry. I was looking for more pictures of him. Thank you. I was hoping we'd go three for three. That just blew my mind.

I thought I saw a picture where he did look bad. People are ripping on Jason Momoa's dad bod. It's like, this is not a dad bod this guy is fit very fucking fit people are real shitty people are just super shitty I can't find it anymore and meanwhile they'll like someone who's

200 pounds overweight as long as they have the other set of genitals they'll be like this is bravery incarnate it's brave to stop at every starbucks at the mall and get a 700 calories that's one like extravagance that i won't partake in uh those those thousand calorie starbucks drinks like they're not even that good like they're just so sweet and so rich that it's just too much.

And they're so huge. Every time I go to the grocery store near me has a Starbucks in it. And, like, I see these, like, chubby moms walking out in yoga pants, drinking that thing. And the worst, I saw a kid who couldn't even walk with one. Like, he was in, like in the little part of the shopping cart that you can ride in as a little kid. The mom hands him a fucking Frappuccino

and he's just like, kid's going to lose a foot before he can walk. I'm with Kyle. I'm with Kyle, definitely in spirit. I've literally never bought one of those in my whole life, but if you offer it to me, it is hard to say no. If you want some of hey, you want some of mine?

Yes, I do. Sure, a sip's fine. I mean, it's all about moderation. That's how it starts. Anything and everything. I'm sure they taste good, but like, that's how it starts.

But like, Woody, your advice is you're like, a lot of it's your sweet tooth, right? Like, you really love your sweets. Like, your number one beverage, if I recall correctly, is extra, extra sweet lemonade, right? It's actually water is the number one beverage. But I recall correctly, is extra, extra sweet lemonade, right? It's actually water

is the number one beverage, but if I were to choose something, yeah. I was meaning like favorite. Oh, yes. I got diet lemonade from Chick-fil-A today. It was delicious. Really? In diet? That's good. Yeah, I get half diet lemonade, half unsweet tea, and it's like

an Arnold Palmer, but with no sugar. It's tasty as fuck i've been crushing diet cream sodas recently really good a and w or barks brand diet root beer diet cream soda i love that yeah i like that stuff too yeah i um i told you there's that brand of cream soda called waste watch or waste watcher or something like that that sounds like it's for fat moms but instead it's like the most delicious diet beverage ever i don't know what the fuck they're sweetening sweetening it with i got a new sweetener that like tastes and smells like cotton candy but has no uh no calories in it and i've been putting it in my uh my unsweet tea oh this is hilarious you'll love

this so i've been drinking unsweet tea for for weeks now i i stopped drinking soda because i just like this better i put some lemon in it unsweet tea and some sweetener and uh i've been i i usually order it off postmates because chick because chick-fil-a has good tea and i just get them to bring me a gallon of unsweet tea and that lasts me like a week almost fucking i'm sitting there and and i'm i had ordered two gallons and i drank the first gallon and i'm on to the second gallon And I'm just talking to all my buddies when I'm playing video games I'm like wings is so weak drinking that sweet tea this tastes delicious This is delicious. Why does he need sweet tea when he could just drink this unsweet tea? He's so weak

He's so weak and I go back into the kitchen to like make some more and I'm like flip the jug around It's sweet weak. He's so weak. And I go back into the kitchen to make some more. And I flip the jug around. It's sweet tea. I have drank half a gallon of sweet tea that I have been adding four sweet and lows to. I have been adding four sweet and lows to each cup. It does sound good. Oh, it was delicious. Woody, if you think sweet tea is good you've never had super sweet tea all right and you were there the whole time being like arrogant about it like

why can't he just enjoy a nice clean beverage like i yeah yeah i'm sitting there on my high horse just just like so weak this. This is delicious, boys. I'm telling you. Unsweet tea. Four sweet and lows. Squeeze a lemon. Bunch of ice. It's cold.

It's tasty. It's delicious. It's so sweet. You're like, cover my ass on rust. My left arm's going numb. I had been sweetening sweet tea. And I gotta say,

it is delicious. But I immediately, I poured it all down the drain i was so upset i poured the and from now and hence since then every every every time i they send me a gallon of tea i'm like all right all right you can this will do this will do i was when you got the next gallon of unsweet tea and you had a sip where you're like oh i that's why i switched sweeteners it wasn't it wasn't getting good anymore it was terrible it was terrible we thought it was a magic sweetener but yeah well no no well i was on sweet and low and let me i'm gonna get another

glass anyway i'll figure out what this sweetener is they're eventually going to come out with some kind of pill where you can take it after a bad meal and it'll somehow agitate it or make it not digestible or just a day after kill your food that would be the biggest money-making thing on the planet only in the western world but still like that that would be domestic that would be terrorism if you like put that in the water supply in Somalia or something. Taylor, let me ask you this. Bigger money maker in the pharmaceutical world, weight loss or growing back hair? Weight loss. Yeah.

It applies to women. Yeah. It applies to women. Women are the overwhelming majority of consumers. And there are a lot of bald fat guys too. And I bet if you asked a bald fat guy hey which one of these would you rather take care of i bet i bet i don't know i can't i'm not bald so i can't say but i would bet i would say most of them go with the fat thing instead of the bald thing because

they can be like well if i'm not fat i could work out go for like a jason statham kind of physique a kind of look so i i hear you and i think you're right but just to take the other side for conversation's sake bald guys pay more i think i think fat guys will be like i'll pay whatever five grand to lose weight but people will pay 50 grand to get hair somehow yeah that's true i don't know why and i mean like it's getting to the point that hair replacement seems pretty tenable pretty good like whereas in the late 90s early 2000s it was like just the plug thing where it looked unnatural and like disconcerting and it was like uh it in the 90s it was like a marker shame you know you went from losing your hair to a guy who couldn't deal with losing his hair. Now, you're a guy who's able to buy hair,

and it's really good hair. It's probably better than people who haven't bought hair. Elon Musk is a great example. He has fantastic hair. LeBron James, different hair, also has fantastic hair. Oh, they both have fake hair? Yeah, yeah. Dude, let's look at some Elon Musk pictures.

Oh, I think I knew that about LeBron James. Yeah, they call it the greatest comeback in sports. LeBron James plugs. Or they're probably not called plugs anymore. Here's an Elon Musk picture. Before, after plugs. Dude, he's killing it. Man, greatest comeback of sports he lebron's hairline may have beaten out the st louis blues for the greatest comeback in sports you have a link did you did you see that oh yeah i'm

looking at the uh the one you linked right now he was way further along than lebron james even because lebron had some side issues it looks like but elon was like back at almost the crown people lose their hair well right like oftentimes it's already super short that's a normal black guy haircut and um it's already dark so like you just cut it close enough it's a a better look than most white guys get. LeBron's hair was gone. And he got that thing where they take the hair from the back and put it in the front. And you can't even tell anymore. He was going bald in a horrible kind of way.

It was all gone. What the heck? It was awful. People calling it the greatest comeback in sports. That's so funny. The Blues won the ESPY for the best comeback story in all four major sports this year. They deserve it.

Ryan O'Reilly, he was going to give a little speech and he started to give it. He's like, I feel like I'm going to spit on people. I need to take my tooth out real quick. He pulled his tooth out and then kept giving the little speech which i thought was wow it was funny but yeah they definitely deserve it that was that was a crazy comeback it was like it of course when the blues win it they do it in this kind of dramatic way which in my head is like so if we're ever going

to do it again it has to be even more dramatic than this do Do we have to be last place in February? That is just my catastrophic thinking. I don't know. But we haven't lost any players from last year yet. So hopefully we're still pretty solid. Carolina or Philly? I don't remember what Philly's acquisitions were this offseason so far, but I feel like Philly is going to be good.

Carolina is on a huge upturn. They are going to be good in a few years. Yeah, they re-signed Sebastian Ajo. Yeah. For five years. So that's how long we have to get something done. Like, I forget who it was.

It might've been Montreal who like, well, Carolina. Yeah. Taylor might know more about this than me, but basically they gave the, our best player on offer sheet. And it had like all this money up front which is really

difficult for the hurricanes to like deal with and it's five years long where the hurricanes wanted to sign him for like seven years or eight years like lock him into something really long so now the guy's gonna be gone in five years and we have to pay all this money this year and they just put caroline in a really tough position so they put him in a tough position but uh i think it's brindamore your guy's gm rod brindamore okay who's like one of the fittest guys like still a gm really impressed by that guy him and him and montreal actually have the very fittest gms montreal's brindamore's face up close terrifying no i't. I know he's got a big scar, right? There's a lot of big scars on his face.

I saw his picture next to... He was like an old guy and there was a young one. It might have been Eric Stahl. Eric Stahl was so fresh-faced and handsome at the time and Brindamore's face looked like a guy who'd been playing hockey for 17 years. It's wrecked in all kinds of different ways. Oh, Jesus. let me link this photo

yeah the look at the look at the snout on this guy how many bone breaks does it take for your nose to triple in girth he's actually looking pretty good though like like all right granted his face is in the hit this 6 000 times but he looks like a fit person yeah he's shredded he's he's one of those guys that was like just because i retired doesn't mean i can stop in the weight room when he was like oldest guy on the team he's still like the one who was the one that you know came into the season the most fit won all their little tests and things like that. He looks like Willem Dafoe fucked Casey Neistat and then got hit in the face with a sledgehammer. He's got to be on gear.

No. Steroids are one of the not very popular drugs in the NHL because apparently it can make you, like, I don't even know the science. Makes you strong and aggressive. Yeah, it makes you aggressive. And then the next thing you know, you're having fistfights. It makes you strong and aggressive, and you get tons of red blood cells.

Your cardio goes through the roof. Hockey players hate that. Honestly, okay, I'm dumb. You're right. They're always so cool-headed, though. Well, hockey players are notoriously cool-headed. Arian Foster was saying that it wasn't that popular in football. I don't believe him.

Oh, I thought the NFL was one of the sports where it was known that tons of those dudes are on it, right? I don't believe him. I believe that every professional athlete is on something. I think he wasn't lying. I'm not saying he wasn't wrong. There's a difference with intent.

Sure, but I believe what he was putting down. he wasn't lying i'm not saying he wasn't wrong right there's a difference with intent sure but i i oh yeah i believe what he was putting down i liked how that uh makes sense uh robert oberst or oberst whatever the guy who was on rogan's show the the power lifter a strong man where he was saying like yeah uh i don't remember if he said he led the charge or if he spoke to someone there who's like please let us use marijuana because we're all using so many Percocets and so many of these opiate painkillers, Vicodins, to try and just keep our pain at a manageable level. Whereas if we're using marijuana, we're not going to get addicted to anything. None of us are going to have our careers ruined through opiate addiction. And now Strongman doesn't test for marijuana.

So Strongman is the only, I guess, smaller sport that doesn't test for it. And the NHL is the only major sport that doesn't test for marijuana. So Strongman is the only, I guess, smaller sport that doesn't test for it, and the NHL is the only major sport that doesn't test for weed. What do they test for? They test for steroids, yeah. That guy's not on steroids? I didn't say that.

I said that they test for steroids. He said that they test, what did he say? They test once a year, randomly, and then before competition competition a month before. With a four week notice. Yeah, maybe. They never mentioned that part where they're like, well we can get randomly tested at any time with a seven week window

that they give us a heads up about. Randomly tested at any time but they tell you six weeks before. The funniest part of that interview was when he was like yeah if you watch uh if you watch old strongman videos they used to put a heart rate monitor on our chests and when we were pulling those 70 000 pound trucks our heart rates would get up to like 240 250 and the league decided this isn't positive it's actually scaring people so they removed the heart

rate monitors from us and it's like my heart rate used to go that high when i was a swimmer in college yeah and like it's confirmed like i take it myself other people would take it i'd use one of those uh like heart rate monitors like i had a heart rate that went above 220 and uh i wonder how that played into the fitness competition like because it doesn't do that anymore uh i would just like if you put your finger just bump up bump up yeah four times a second yeah yeah were you like stressed out when that was happening or it was just like no this is part of the race like that i can't imagine this is what i do what i was doing was i was measuring how quickly it dropped. That's a measure of fitness.

And at this time in my life, I was really fit. So it'd go from like 240 to like 160 in like a minute and a half. And then we just get back at it. Yeah, that guy was a good guest. He's not just a big meathead. He seems very smart. Well, not very smart, but he seems a lot smarter than you'd think he'd be. And he's funny to some extent.

And he's like a fan of the show and of Rogan. So he know he really worked well he was a good guest i like that guy a lot yeah fucking huge i'd love to get oj simpson as a guest on this show that would be the greatest guest of all time oh my god good he did i guess he would dude go on heisman trophyrophy winner, NFL superstar, movie star, commercial star, real estate mogul, murderer. The last one in particular, but the guy's got to be able to talk. That's the key to it. Oh, he can talk. If he plays shy, he's got to be able to roll with the punches. He's got to be able to tell a story. you know oh he can like i've seen him do it like like he's he did a

podcast the other day uh this guy this um uh he did some more of an interview really with this guy who um i think he's like a buffalo bills like sports guy or something like that i'm not exactly sure he talked about it on his twitter uh he's got almost three quarters of a million followers on twitter something like something around that now, after being on for like a month and a half or something. I would love to talk to OJ Simpson, and I would point blank call him a murderer at some point in the conversation. I'd be like, we know you do.

That would be the whole purpose of having him on. Yeah. Just so you'd be like, OJ, thanks for coming on. You killed it. Absolutely killed it on the show like you might think that that would make him uncomfortable he would love that he's like oh wow he'd go i always kill it taylor i always kill it and if it's if it sometimes i kill it twice hypothetically He did this reality show once called Juiced, which was like punked, but he's the one punking you. So you get juiced.

And at one point he pretends like he's a used car salesman now and he's selling the Bronco. And the Bronco's got a bullet hole in it. And he has signed next to the bullet hole, OJ Simpson. And these people are coming up to buy it, and he's like, if you ever need to make a getaway, this is the perfect vehicle. You'll be gone. You'll be gone. The guy's like, is there still $10,000 cash under the seat? He's like, they say that.

That wouldn't even true. They lie about me. That wasn't true. And then this cute blonde woman comes up who looks a little bit like Nicole. And he's like, I just want to say you are you are beautiful. You are beautiful. And she's like hitting it back. She's like, oh, well, thank you. He's like, this is the car you need. This is the car you need. You get a nice car like that over there. Ain't no man go hit on you because they don gonna think you got a man back at home taking care of

you. You drive around in this and they think this lady could use a man by her side. They gonna hit on you right away. You driving this right here. Best part is... You think this is scripted? This is too good. He did a bunch of them. Like, it tells

the Mexican guy, he's like, best part is somebody tries to steal it, door handle don't even work. You got to reach on the inside to open it up. When Al Callens was driving me in this thing, we were gone. He's like, so this is your Bronco? Yeah, yeah. He's like, was she like, oh, perfect. This will be great for me and my boyfriend, Ron.

It was really good and then i found a video where i was linked one where apparently oj did a rap video at one point he looks like he's about 50 maybe in this rap video and he's rapping and there are blonde women in bikinis dancing all over him and at one point they all get topless there are titties in this rap video and he's dressed as Elvis Presley talking about how he's the king. And he's got a little person, a dwarf also dressed as Elvis Presley as his backup dancer. And he's like sitting on a throne talking about his dick, talking about how, how like he's the king of this and the king of that and how he's got all this pussy. It's ridiculous. So I think that OJ would make quite the guess.

I think he would be very, I think you could get him to say some ridiculous shit. I mean, I don't know if you've ever seen the interview he did where he talks about hypothetically what he thinks happened the night Nicole was killed. No, I've never heard that. Oh my fucking God. He's telling it from the third person,

but occasionally he slips up and goes into the first person. He's talking about this hypothetical guy named Charlie who did it. He's like, you know, and then, and Charlie was like, let's go get them. Let's go in there and see what's going on. And, and so I went with Charlie, you know, and, and I had the knife and, and Charlie said, nah, don't bring that. So I'll take that. And then Charlie handed me the knife. And I'd just never seen that much blood before. He keeps going in and out from talking about a hypothetical. And he keeps stopping and goes, I just want to be sure everybody understands this is a hypothetical. Hypothetical. Hypothetical is clearly a new vocabulary word for him because

he keeps using it and really enunciating every bit of hypothetical so it's like someone told him you know you could tell them hypothetically what happened he's like what do you mean he's like well if you preface everything you say with hypothetically you can say basically whatever you'd like oj and it's just his new you know get out of jail again free card you know he wrote a book called if i did it right oh yeah and it describes how he would have done it if he did it uh and the the brown describe exactly what happened yes yes he describes how and the reporter's like and then you drop the glove he's like well i must have dropped it because they found it there like it's real fucked up but the um ron goldman i want to say

ron goldman's family in their civil suit got control of that book like so they changed the title they made the if incredibly tiny so it just says i did it by oj simpson dude i'm looking at it uh he's right it says i did it in big red letters. I don't even see the F. It's not visible in this picture. And by the way, the full name of the book is If I Did It, Confessions of a Killer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I can't see the F either.

It's there somewhere. Oh, no, it's written in very faint gray in the top part of the I. Is that where it is? Yeah, it says if I did it. It's written in very faint gray in the top part of the eye. Is that where it is? Yeah. It says, if I did it. Oh, on eBay, there's a first edition of it where it says, if I did it, and it has OJ's profile picture on it.

I'm showing it to people. So yeah, like Kyle said, they changed it a whole bunch. This is just making me like OJ more. I don't know about that. He is a cold-blooded murderer. He cut that woman's head off and stabbed that poor allegedly uh no definitely he definitely did um he definitely did his funny twitter videos are winning me back

yeah when he said in one of his twitter videos the first thing he tweeted where he was like uh now i've got to get even with some people turns it off and it's like that you know i don't know who's left to get even with oj has lived an interesting life and it if he can speak that make him a great guest you know who's not a great guest elon musk like i love what he's doing with the world i love that he's advancing space travel even though the cool stuff is yet to come i I've talked about that before. The car that he has is incredible. I think that would be really cool. But I've seen him as a guest. I've seen him speak.

Joe Rogan said it was one of his hardest shows ever. That he's just incredibly difficult to pull anything out of. Yeah, maybe so. Yeah, maybe he's like scared now, because remember when he was... Didn't he do something where on

social media he like hinted at a stock thing repeatedly yeah he's made he you know he wants to talk about his business and he likes to like people who used to short it i don't know if that's still a thing very much but they were shorting his company a ton which was hurting the stock price was causing him trouble so when things were going, he would like to poke at the shorts. But as a guy with all that insider information, his role was to stay quiet and he got in trouble. That's a thing.

Poor guy. Poor guy. Oh, speaking of which, he's like on one of my topics tonight. So, this frustrates me. Former Tesla employee admits uploading autopilot source code to his iCloud. Tesla believes he stole company trade secrets and sold them to Chinese startup. Yao Ping Motors.

Yao Ping. Yao Ping. I don't know. X-I-A-O-P-N-G. I don't know if you spell that. Yao Ping. It's pronounced that. But yeah, so they stole the Tesla source code,

sold it to China, and then Twitter went on about Chinese culture. Now, I don't know if this is to be true, but it's on Reddit, so it must be true. I said Twitter, not Reddit. I live in China. Cheating isn't even considered cheating here. It's considered clever.

Like, why wouldn't you steal source code? You'd be stupid not to. That's the mentality and the world needs to wake up to it. Cheating is almost a part of the culture. I could tell you a million stories of how my Chinese friends do this sort of shit. It's endemic. Ken confirmed. I was teaching uni classes.

It's frightening how openly students would attempt to cheat. I put my strict foot down and they didn't understand. I wasn't upset with cheating as much as how blatant the open nature of it was. Students cheat all the time. But multiple students in the same class turning in identical papers written in impeccable English is poor form. And they would just go on and on about like – there was another guy who talked about – I think he worked in steel or something. And they wanted his stuff to be top quality. So they're like, we gave top quality materials to this company to build it out of, thinking that that would mean it was built out of – they took the materials we gave them to build our stuff and sold it and then bought cheaper shit and made it out of that and didn't understand why we were even upset because obviously they do that.

And cheating culture is... India too. In India they told me the same thing. That if you buy your software in India you're considered foolish and irresponsible. Why would you... Only a dumb person would do that. That guy on Rogan was talking about

being in China and how the children were not just shitting in the streets, but just pulling their pants in and shitting in the mall, and how they were burning tires as street lamps. Rogan's like, they want us to switch to electric cars, but they're over there burning tires for the street lamps. That's what I feel like the entire environmental thing is to China. It's like, oh, we tell them that,

tell them we meet all the goals earlier than they do. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, of course they're lying about all that shit. They don't give a fuck. China acts like the environment owes them money. We're going to go over to the sea and kneecap it. I'm pouring mercury into the groundwater just because, fuck damn.

I don't know what to believe. It's very difficult to believe anything comes from China. I hear that they're doing better. They've got these giant hydroelectric dams producing electricity. Better than coal in some ways. We sell that electricity. we burn tires for hours uh yeah i did i it's a weird thing this is my own furnace it runs entirely on dog meat why would you even invent something now like if you're

gonna spend a billion dollars on cars that drive themselves then china's just gonna steal it i don't know it's tricky all right so two topics up for grabs one a man driving his car with an inflatable pool on the top of it with water in it with children in it or a man who got stabbed in the head really in the face to be fair over a parking space let's see if he gets the spot okay okay i like taylor's take on it i i'm sold i i'm at zero on that video on the on the the stabbing i am sliding it back video is a minute and a half for people curious ready oh taylor you ready yeah i got it ready set play Ready, set, play.

There's a man walking outside a mall or something in an underground parking lot. There's a crowd. He's approaching a red car. Whoa. One red car is trying to get in. There's a knife sticking out of someone's head. Yeah.

And he's walking around, lucid, and arguing, pointing to the knife in his face. The guy doesn't just... Oh, my God. Oh, there's a cop here. They're speaking Spanish, I think. Jesus Christ. The cop looks like a Rainbow Six operator. He does.

It's definitely a fucking dangerous area. Wow. This guy got a knife to the face. And it's still there, which I guess is what you do. He's notoriously chill about this whole thing. It's not in his eye. Oh, it's in there which I guess is what you do he's notoriously chill about this whole thing it's not his oh it's in the side of his head like kind of near his eye god damn it's in there good oh it's put for a second I thought maybe it was just under the skin parallel to his skull I don't think that

anymore this thing is like is it his eye I not. Yank the knife out and start the healing process. I would have to get that knife out. If it's not serrated, I'd have to get that knife out. Yeah, but that might kill you. You always wait. I'm pulling it out, Taylor. It's going to take half your eye with it. Pull it out, pull it out.

Taylor, it looks weird in there. Taylor, it looks weird in there. Man, I am not stealing a parking spot in Honduras or wherever that was. Yeah, I really think that guy needs bear hug lessons. I don't think a bear hug would have helped him out of that one. No. I've seen it work. And he didn't even get the spot.

It looks like he was the one yelling at someone else who had the spot because he was sitting his butt on the red car that wasn't in the spot. Right. I got the vibe that that was his car and his car wasn't in a spot. It was behind. But if a guy gets stabbed in the face and he wants to sit on my car I'm going to let him.

What if you're the stabber? Are you like, alright. I don't well what if you're the stabber are you like all right i don't know i would charge you for the stabist no i would be trying to get out of there but i feel like in whatever country this is this wasn't even like this is just like ah wednesday after hump day you know well only two more till the weekend, boys. This guy stole my spot. He stole my knife and he still has it. Yeah. Yeah, well, the cartel just put 11 heads on bikes over there. So I'm going to prioritize that.

Let's see the other one with the pool. It's just a picture. It's just a picture, unfortunately. Oh, it's just a picture. Yeah, I thought it was going to be something else, too. Man arrested for driving with inflatable pull-on car with kids inside. Oh, not man. Mom.

I read it wrong. I've got a video, an actual video on YouTube called Marijuana Robbery Gone Wrong Crashes Car. Oh, here's Mom. Oh, that's a good video. Have you seen it yet? I haven't watched it yet. I haven't watched it. yet i try to not watch anything we're going to watch on the show until the show well i know we're going to watch on the show but

someone showed this to me a few days ago and i love it all right i'm ready i need a moment please marijuana robbery i feel like robberies are usually from harder drugs um so as he's getting set up basically uh the this white guy is his goal is to rip off the black guy who's going to be selling him marijuana okay i'm ready white guy to rip off black drug dealer ready set play i'm not he's trying to set up a camera as you do to film the whole thing he wants to film him robbing a drug... Okay. Yeah.

He's basically... Who's the guy from The Wire who does this? McNulty? No, he's a black guy. He carries a shotgun. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Fuck. I'm spacing out. It's not an everyday name. No out it's not an everyday name no it's not so they set up a camera to film their own robbery to film them stealing drugs from a drug dealer yeah so they're pretty much peter pan no robin robin going for it yeah robin yeah we still we still weed from the rich and give it to the poor. What is the red? Oh, that must be like an iPhone cord or something. I just pulled in and I came around

and I turned into that little place right there. I'm in a silver car. Look left. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Alright. Alright. He's playing and he's nervous.

He's got that I'm about to shoplift vibe about him. I know he's not literally shoplifting, but that's the vibe. Just buy the weed, you degenerate. I was about to say, just buy the weed. He's good. Can you I'll just be going now. Oh no! Oh! He's stuck now.

You better roll up your window. Yup. He's confu- he's panicking. What is happening? Alright. His partner is legging it. That guy is rolling ass.

And that's as far as the story goes, boys. For a sandwich bag with some weed in it? And that's as far as the story goes, boys. That's all we know. For a sandwich bag with some weed in it? Like $40 worth of weed. Dude, that guy sucks. Fuck that guy. That black guy was...

He could have killed that black guy who was just trying to be a citizen who's serving a public need. Entrepreneur. He's the best of us. Yeah. He latched onto that car. I feel like you saw it coming. Right?

He saw the same vibe I did. He was a little worried. Yeah. I mean, he is a drug dealer, so, you know, it's... But as soon as that guy tried to take off, the black guy was latched onto the side of that car like a fucking leech. And the look on his face was just... He was like, let go i'm gonna get my legs run over so i need to not do that he was like could you stop you can have the weed jesus we're going crashes into a

tree yeah ruined his shitty silver car for yeah forty dollars of marijuana and based on the fact that we're watching this video probably got in a decent amount of trouble. Yeah, I doubt they went home and uploaded this. Yeah, me too. I don't know how this got uploaded, but it tells me things didn't go well that day. It's funny also, like, why film yourself doing it?

Why film yourself not only buying drugs, but stealing drugs? I'm watching this video in quarter speed you know and showing it to everyone when he starts driving away the black guy latches his arm in there and is smiling so happy like like just looking at the the driver in the eyes like why like what are you thinking he doesn't even seem nervous the the dealer yeah that's the third time today someone's tried to make off with $40 of weed like

three meals at Chipotle is what he was trying to save there that's that's like a almost a fist of weed you would call that $40 I couldn't actually see I just saw it wasn't I just saw it wasn't a very big bag yeah that's a tiny amount of weed

okay that's a good evening worth of weed well that guy's a douche bag fuck him yeah I don't know why he felt the need to rob that gentleman that heroic dealer serving a public need bettering

himself just trying to get into college is what i would wager would you now i don't know i have no idea it's a tree so hard how does he hit tree? Why isn't he watching where he's going? I mean, I know the guy's clambered onto the window, but you gotta watch where you're going. You can't just go. Well, he's panicking. One thing we haven't looked at yet that I'm excited about watching

is the Disneyland fight. Ooh. Yeah, that's linked somewhere, right? I think Chiz found it for us. I could probably just search on YouTube for it and get it. I'm looking, because Chiz, I remember him saying something about having the entire fight. Okay. him saying something about having the entire fight. Ugh.

Why don't these people re-upload this shit? We're losers. What are we talking about? I don't know. I'm just going through all the links for it and there's so many people reacting to it in eight minute videos. Girl, today I'm going to watch this video of people fighting at Disneyland. They're making us all

look bad. Which one did you find? The one that Chiz gave us. It's the Disneyland fight. Oh, sweet. Nice. Disneyland brawl. The Disneyland brawl. I got to sign in. This is so intense. Are you guys ready?

Yeah. Yes, I'm ready. Ready, set, play. Alright. Oh, she spit on him. She spit on him. Did she? And he has come unglued.

Yep. I love unglued. That's the term. That bitch just pushed the kids away Woman spits on dude Now her man Who I think is in white Has to fight the red guy

Nobody wants to fight red guy He is He's got that Lennox Lewis hair Here comes the wheelchair Trying to break it up That woman in white is so fat Yeah they're all fat She's fatter than the wheelchair bitch No but keep your eye on the wheelchair bitch

Cause she's about to go down Like a heat This is magical Red dude is punching the woman He went over to her to look for that fight. Children are crying. Y'all making a scene in Toontown. Come on, man.

This guy doesn't want to go back to jail. Come on. Yeah, this is good for the kids. Families are walking by in the background. Little kids in their Mickey Mouse hats. Oh, look, she's out. What happened? Oh, I didn't see the punch that did it.

There wasn't a punch. She got bumped a little. Oh, mama's down. That's mom? She's aged well, I think. Well, she's only nine years older than her daughter. Jesus. Oh, you better get some, too.

Jesus Christ. You gotta get some, too. Red shirt, don't play. This is trashy incarnate. Wow. Look at this one. It looks like this one got shot. She's so helpless.

Is Black Shirt from Disney World, or is he another patriot? No, he's just another guy. I think he's wearing a baseball team shirt. Yeah. Just a Mexican guy who's like, come on guys. Come on guys. This is scaring all the kids and people aren't having fun at Toontown. Look, now another one's down.

I'm going to jail tonight! Guy's making hotel arrangements. I'm going to jail tonight! You've got kids and it's Disneyland. I'm ready to go to jail tonight. I'm ready to go to jail tonight. You've got kids and it's Disneyland. I'm ready to go to jail tonight. I'm ready to go to jail tonight. You know what they say, jail's the happiest place on earth. You put your hands on my bitch.

Which one's his girl? His bitch? He's chasing what I'll call the hot one. Okay, that's fair. He's chasing What I'll call the hot one Okay That's fair He's not done yet Yeah you get some now too Oh uppercut

Back of the head That's an illegal blow He's savagely attacking that woman Jesus Christ He's really giving it to that woman. Jesus Christ. He's really giving it to her. I can't hear the words. What did she say that infuriated him?

I don't know. I can't hear. Alright, so now there's three men holding him down. Four now. I have a feeling he'll get back up. Oh, yeah. They're not committed to this. Look how fat that woman is. They're holding him down at arm's length. Look at these normal people trying to get out of that.

Yeah. Good lord. Oh, security's here. Sort of a fracas of Disneyland. Oh, my gosh. This woman in the fedora is not equipped for this problem. Yeah, the Mounties are on the case. You ripped your good red shirt.

That dude is sitting down. That's not going to last. And he's up. Dude, I'm a fan of the music playing in the background. Who's going to come over? Somebody's got to keep this guy from just going and hopping on the Batman ride. This guy needs to go to jail.

He just assaulted a dozen people. Oh, no. Nobody's going to jail. No one goes to jail. No one has any weaponry here. They all just have radios. Oh, my God. So Red Shirt feels that

hot chick jumped on his mama. Yep. That was her offense. Look at this little Asian man with the dog shit scoop. Oh, he cuts off there. Yeah, there was the tiniest little Asian man standing there for a while who looked very awkward. Oh, so Shinsu, how was your trip

to Disney World? let me just say not at all when i expect it there was a live action show there was a live action show he said that the la riot reenactment didn't start until 3 30 yeah jesus christ that that guy how is he just walking away someone had to arrest him no punch 3.30 Jesus Christ That guy How is he just walking away Someone had to arrest him Realistically maybe four different women in the face

And shoved down another one I was saying no I read an article on this No one went to jail That's ridiculous He could have seriously hurt any of those people Yeah White shirt guy was, you know, he was in the fight.

Yeah. But I feel like most of the people who came over to try and break it up had the mentality of like, yeah, I'm going to give this about a 4% effort because I want to get a churro because I paid $400 for my family to spend the day here. Yeah. Jesus Christ. That's fucking rough.

Yeah. I loved when the wheelchair lady went down like she'd been shot with a 12 gauge she got the tiniest little bump and she hit the ground i'm the version i saw wheelchair lady tried to run people down i just not but then she gets up out of the wheelchair and she starts getting like mixing up into the like the group of people who are like pushing and shoving and somebody just sort of does this to her like like literally just a little elbow bump and she hits the ground and her arms like fly out she's just like last jaw no heart she wouldn't make it in the ufc she was faking it because her center of gravity very low yes she wobbles but she shouldn't fall down so So fat. So gigantic. She wasn't even the fattest one from the wheelchair.

That one chick has a shape that's not even natural. Did you see that she didn't button her pants? That was my favorite aspect of her pants. That one chick? She was post Thanksgiving all the time. She was built like a half melted ice cream cone Like she was shaped like an S

Like it made no sense The physical shape that she'd taken on No Not at all This doesn't make me want to go to Disneyland at all Oh really I kind of want to go I don't want to bring the family or anything But if that was guaranteed to happen,

I would go. It would be fun to watch. Sir, do you need to check in that lawn chair? Oh, yeah. I got plans. I guarantee there were some of the normal families walking by, and they're like, oh, this is terrible. Let's get out of here. And the dad's like, yeah, just

well, let's see how it pans out. And then there's me with my inflatable lounge chair that's what I came for putting a hundred Disney bucks on red shirt T-Rex mouth grabber grabs his nose

man you have to be such a trashy person to get into a fight at an amusement park yes everybody's having a good time Man, you have to be such a trashy person to get into a fight at an amusement park. Yes. Everybody's having a good time. All you're doing is taking away your rollercoaster time when you think about it. They don't even have good rollercoasters at Disneyland. I've only been to Disney World,

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but I've never had any bad effects from the Tadalafil Tadalafil that's the one to go with though so get yourself a hard ass dick very hard yep very hard now i want to watch people fight at theme parks i've got um an update on our friend kevin spacey oh oh tell me they've i know one of his accusers dropped the uh the charges against him are we gonna is Did they settle out of court?

It appears that he might get away with it entirely. And I don't know... So, I'm a little confused as to why this is happening this way. But in this case, there's a young man who is the sole witness. Liar. And they said that they couldn't find his personal cell phone. And now when they're asking him where the cell phone is, he's pleading the fifth. I don't know what is on this cell phone that he doesn't want people to see.

But it could be anything. It could be pictures of his own drug use it could be pictures of pedo pictures it could be sex pictures but this the accuser doesn't want anyone to see his cell phone um so he's pled the fifth on where its location is you know who also didn't want the authorities to see their cell phone, Juicy Sommelier, the wine expert from Chicago who was lying about that hate attack that was done upon him. God damn Juicy Sommelier. But you gotta love him for those wine recommendations.

Incredible. He knew exactly what to pair with my chicken parm. Yeah. I don't know why the cell phone... I think the fact that he's pleading the fifth about anything makes him a bad witness and he's the sole witness and the whole case might disappear. And Kevin Spacey, you just go back to making movies and touching butts.

God, I hope so. I love Kevin Spacey so much. He is a national treasure. I, I, I really hope he gets back in the game. Um,

you know, I, I'll, I'll trade you Louis C.K. Just give me Kevin Spacey back, all right? Give me Kevin Spacey back, and you can have your Louis C.K. I think you might. Taylor, hear me out. I might be on Kyle's team with this.

The reason is that comedians peak short. The half-life of a comedian is like five years, and then they don't have their best stuff anymore. But actors, actors last for decades. We've already had Louis C.K.'s best. If he comes back now, if he had never been Me Too'd, I think right now, Taylor, you'd be saying, I saw his sixth special.

It's worse than his fifth one. You're right with that, because even before the Me Too, he jacked off on the phone, and he asked me if if i could masturbate and i said yes and then he did like before all that stuff happened his last specials weren't very good they just weren't the last two not that funny so i agree with with the half-life oh well you're right like i like your five-year kind of half-life maybe you can extend it out to 10. But once you get to a few, let's say more than five specials, there's a precipitous decline.

I think that's generous. I think you get two in you. Maybe. Comparing Bill Burr to the average probably isn't fair because he's tippity-top in quality. But his last couple, they did not make... His 08 one, his 2010 one one and maybe his 2011 or 12 one

like i was uproariously laughing at them like so fucking funny and then his black and white one i was laughing at his equivalent to like amy schumer's best ever yeah it wasn't that great just really not so. So from a pure talent standpoint, you're right. You know, Kevin Spacey's got more in him. But also, he was like flying on the Epstein plane and going to Little St. Thomas. If we had a list of everyone who flew on that plane, though, I guarantee there's lots of people who were on that plane.

Well, not just the plane. Who went to the island? Who were the people who went to the island? I don't even think Trump went to the fucking island and he was riding on that plane. Well, not just the plane. Who went to the island? Who were the people who went to the island? I don't even think Trump went to the fucking island, and he was riding on that plane, too. Who went to Epstein's island? Epstein has an island? Yeah, yeah.

That's where he does his... I read Epstein might be a billionaire. So that's his level of wealth. Call it somewhere between 0.9 and 1.1 billion. Have you seen all these real finance people being asked, like, hey, do you know how Epstein made his money? And they're like, I do not. I don't know how he made his money.

And apparently his hedge fund thing, he has one client. And his one client is also kind of implicated in a lot of this nonsense so hopefully a lot of pedophiles get brought down but what i'm gonna wager will happen is exactly what i think what he said on pkn which was like the panama papers thing where when a couple years ago people were like a huge story broke everyone on earth who's rich is hiding their money and not paying taxes and everybody's like, that's certainly interesting. And, uh, but look at this cute dog that learned to tricycle. Like everybody's like, oh, okay, well, we'll forget about that.

So I think it's going to be another thing where too many rich people are involved that they just have enough power to get away with it. No, I think he's in a lot of trouble. He even has a, uh, Epstein has a creepy ass temple or some weird, like religious looking building on his Island. Have you seen that? He has a creepy-ass temple or some weird religious-looking building on his island. Have you seen that? Taylor, you act like nothing came out of the Panama Papers, but you're wrong. Daphne Galazia,

the journalist who did it, died in a car bombing. Holy shit. So that's a thing. That's what came out of it. You keep your fucking trap shut Daphne Thlene Look at this

Creepy ass thing that's on What some people are calling pedophile island What is that? That is a boob That's like a religious looking building He's got like a temple On his I don't even know what to call that styling Is it Russianussian is it buddhist is it like where do you see those domes

a cult temple on little saint james pedophile jeffrey epstein's private island cool i like that pedophiles like his new prefix they call it lolita island yeah and they call his plane the lolita express yeah but he doesn't care for that no well you know i think he's got bigger problems on his plate or maybe he doesn't maybe like all right here you go here's stephen hawking at the island are you telling me stephen hawking was a pedophile he couldn't even move his hand he can't even could he even get his dick hard this just goes to my point that not just because you not for women only for girls just because you associated with this man or you want you were on his plane i'm starting to sound like

i was on the plane and i'm just trying to brace people just because you were on the plane maybe you were in the island perhaps perhaps there's a video of you in that temple wearing a gold dress doing a dance with some little boys hello Hello, my friend. Today we are at Pedophile Island. Maybe the guy was just into collecting guns and I thought that was cool. Alright? Alright? This woman looks like... I will use this

Uzi to shoot nine-year-olds running around in seductive attire. This woman looks like she's had a terrible day. She's unhappy on the right. She's unhappy and her nose is red. Or like she's had a terrible day. She's unhappy on the right. She's unhappy and her nose is red. Or maybe she's having a great day. Maybe it's just that.

She looked unprepared. This was a lot of fun. I really liked the island until a naked seven-year-old served me my entree. Stephen Hawking, what's what's he gonna do like exactly what i'm getting at here is just because you associated with this guy or you were on his plane or on his island doesn't mean anything that's just kind of my thought process like like the guy it seems it

was a pedophile but that wasn't his defining quality. What was it? Being a fake money mogul who had a prominent client? Well, they're not saying he's a fake money mogul. He was definitely a real... He definitely is incredibly wealthy. What they're saying is that perhaps he gained this money nefariously in some way. They're having a hard time tracking down where all this money came from.

I think it was Dershowitz or someone who got him off early years and years ago. Or got him off for his shit like 12 years ago said he was in intelligence. In the intelligence community somehow. But they didn't say he was in the US intelligence community. Interesting.

I don't know anything. Maybe something will come to light. This guy seems very mysterious. It's possible that he's just a real nice fun loving guy and he's being smeared what so that's possible there's photos of him on his plane with little girls show me please well let me check alan dershowitz so what happened here's the you know look into it view of this uh this guy was like widely known for um was widely known for going to his island and having sex with little girls.

I think Alan Dershowitz was his attorney, which doesn't right out of the gate make him a bad guy. Even bad guys get attorneys. That's the scoop. And then he got this really sweetheart deal by the prosecutor where he basically didn't have to go to jail they'd sent him to jail but he only had to stop in it was like almost like just a nighttime thing the prosecutor claimed that florida was just going to drop all charges and that's all i could get him that that deal was the best they could do that's his claim but yeah what i'm also reading is that they shut down the fbi investigation and kind of just gave him a slap on the wrist.

He barely had to go to jail, etc. And Alan Dershowitz is now saying he's doubling down. He's like, I could have got him an even better deal than practically not jail. Wow. I don't know. And now he's the labor secretary. So, I don't know. I'm not even defending Trump in any way on this shit i want

anybody who's doing nasty stuff with these kids to come and pay the piper but of course they won't because rich people play by different set of rules so fucking annoying in the one where he got off like you barely got a slap on the wrist uh trump was implicated as having slept with these girls and the i read it on pkn i don't know if girls. I read it on PKN. I don't know if I want to read it again. It takes over a minute. Yeah, it was kind of long. Basically, he made two little girls do lesbian stuff,

then blow him, and then he fucked them. They begged for a condom. He said no, and then he tossed money at them and said, get an abortion. This is like sworn testimony in the first trial. Sworn testimony doesn't mean it's proven right it just means that's what they said it's pretty fantastic it's like like if that's true dear god like like what have we done like like like you almost i don't know none of this stuff ever has any proof. All this B2 stuff, all this rape stuff,

it's all shit that seemed to happen 12 years ago and three people all saying it didn't happen. Maybe that's just the nature of it. If I had to prove, I'd have a hard time proving a consensual sex act that I was a part of 10 years ago. Yeah, the nature of sex crime. I've got a hard drive somewhere. I don't remember the password. I tried to get into it the other day i tried all my common ones i this is actually a legitimate question i've got this computer with some materials on it and i'd

like to extract them can i just pull the hard drive plug it into a computer i know the password to and access that hard drive is that how that works i'm dumb i think it would work unless the drive is encrypted which i mean you know something's going on it's not it's nothing illegal all right these these are just my personal uh memoirs uh what did dennis call his like sexual memoirs or whatever you should actually be able to buy a usb adapter and it would be super easy to just like externally connect that to your usb port and access it like you do a sim card off not a sim card what is a mini sd card from a camera yeah yeah yeah would look like procedure would be like that it's very frustrating i can't remember this password and like i i i mean you you know that the guy isn't just some fun-loving, you know, plane pilot with an island

because they found tons of naked pictures of underage girls and discs and shit on there. Sure they did. With, like, names of people and then the name of the girl, and they haven't divulged what names of the people are on there yet. I mean, that is how they scare people. There is some shady shit going on with this guy. I hope he goes down for it. He's a registered sex offender already.

It's really fishy to me, and I'm conspiracying it right now, that he got off so light. We were talking about this on PKM. He's not just rich, right? Because if I won a billion dollar lottery, I wouldn't get sweetheart deals like this. He's rich and he's connected. Republican and

Democrat. And that's how he gets out of the... That's how he gets away with this incredible stuff. There's an episode of the X-Files where this guy is trying to get this this government information to Mulder, you know, the main character of the show. And what's done to him immediately is there's a raid on his house where they find child pornography. And and it's like it's like

yeah that's what the government does but molders like you is this real he's like this is what they do because nobody will question it and everybody will hate me now and nobody will believe anything i have to say maybe maybe this guy is like a fucking superhero maybe he's out in that plane with that island doing the lord's work, all right? But some of it's counter to what the United States intelligence community, which he used to apparently be a part of, wants to have.

No, they didn't say U.S. community. They just said intelligence. This guy is a bastion for American freedom. He's out there doing the Lord's work, and they're smearing his good name with this with this pedophilia nonsense and then they're trying to bring the great golden god donald trump down as well trying to just just throw him right into the mix just because trump said he was a great guy he loved beautiful women but the younger side but he loved him younger than trump this is classic in new world order deep state tactics

this is nwo stuff we're looking at here folks we're not talking about wrestling is like i like no i was making fun of alex jones but i know alex jones ironically was one of the people who came out with the epstein stuff like like long long time ago. And everybody was like, you fucking kook. That's not happening. Like that's, you know. Alex Jones is right half the time. A broken clock is right twice a day. He's wrong about his neck thickening salve, his bone broth, all of that.

He's wrong about pizza. What about the crystals? Tell them about the crystals, Taylor. Kyle, we discussed in private private those are my personal collection i will not give that power to the rest of the populace they're minerals what is operation paperclip i keep thinking i need to read up on it what was that uh i think kyle kyle you know right you mentioned it i thought you knew um yeah i fuck which one is that it may be the non one secret program of the joint intelligence objective agency largely carried out by special agents of army cic in which more than 600 is the crack cocaine no no no this is the uh where all everybody who got

it's the nazis yeah it's the nazis the Nazis and Werner Von Braun and all that shit. Look, that one doesn't bother me a bit. Can you lay it out real fast? I don't think I understand it. We won World War II, but the Germans were the height of science, aerospace, and all

these other technologies. Rocket science, all sorts of missile technologies, jet engine technologies. They were working on nuclear technology. They had the best scientists, it seemed, in the world. And the Cold War immediately began as soon as World War II ended. And the Soviets were scooping up as many of these scientists as they could, and we were doing the exact same thing. And we were promising them whatever it took to get them to come over to our side.

You know, money, jobs, asylum, everything. You'll have a house, you'll have this, you'll have that. No one's going to prosecute you for gassing. No, we don't care about your V2 rocket program, Werner Von Braun. We need you to make new rockets for us. You always said, you know, the the the worst the the bad thing about the v2 was it it was about a quarter million miles short of your the destination you wanted it to go because you wanted to go to the moon that was that was von braun's thing but they

were sending his rockets to london so the whole idea was was getting these scientists bringing them over to our side and utilizing them despite the despicable things that they had undoubtedly been parts of the v2 i had to look it up i'm sure guests wondered their listeners it's uh the world's first long-range guided ballistic missile yep that's what it was so i guess that background made him help help us get to the moon i mean the u.s kind of had to scoop up like kyle said we had to scoop up as many nazi scientists as we could because otherwise they all would have went to soviet union and they would have been leaps and fucking bounds ahead of we were like they would have dominated us in the space race if we didn't pick up some nazi scientists yeah warner von braun won the space race for us like like and it was either

us it was either going to be on our side or on their side but he was going to one or the other unfounded pride to believe that Americans totally sucked. We were getting our shit pushed in by those V2 rockets. Yeah, absolutely. We were way behind. We were way behind in rocket technology. We didn't have any rockets. Not like that. I thought our jets were about to

enter World War II just like theirs were. I don't think theirs were. We didn't have jets. They actually had jets in battle. They were far ahead in almost every technology. Their tanks were better. Their planes were better. Their guns were better.

Yeah, you hear all the stories of American and Russian soldiers like just they kill a German and they just basically trade out equipment with the German soldier because it's a huge upgrade. All the way down the line. They're bolt action guns.

That's that German engineering. What is it with them being so good at that shit? We had 66 jets ready to fly and people were getting trained on them but they hadn't entered combat yet. We were close, I guess. Yeah, I guess so. But, I mean, they did have a few

in combat. In any case, they were far enough ahead that those scientists were invaluable. I mean, he ran NASA. He was the head of the program. He got us to the moon. I just linked something that was... Werner Von Braun. He also had

a factory in Germany where they would hang the slowest 3Gs or 5Gs every day. I can't remember if it was 3 or 5. Not so bad if it's 3, I guess. Maybe I'm inflating things. Maybe you're being crazy here, Kyle.

But yeah, what I'm saying is maybe they're smearing this do-gooder with his own private island and is maybe they're smearing this uh this do-gooder uh with his own private island and plane because they're they're you know just just calling him a pedophile when in fact he's some sort of a hero kyle so on i i was like i guess i wanted to believe uh verner von braun werner von braun wasn't that big a deal um he was the chief architect of the saturn super heavy lift launch that propelled apollo to the moon and he was the chief architect of the Saturn super heavy lift launch that propelled Apollo to the moon. And he was the director of the Marshall Space Flight Center.

Yeah, he was kind of the guy. He's the guy. Yeah. Yeah. It was his rocket. It was his plan. It was his teams. He was it.

It wouldn't have happened without him. The Soviets, we were using, I think the Saturn V, it uses a couple of rockets. It's like several really big rockets. The Soviets went with this program where it's like lots and lots of little ones. The problem is like if if there's a lot more rockets to fail. So you get all those videos of their rockets going and exploding like a fucking atomic bomb and melting the whole the whole launch facility there's so many good videos of their shit blowing up his i'm looking at his like sidebar wikipedia allegiances nazi german united states service branch ss and united states army i'm supposed to go together like that but here they are uh his rank was

stummenbanfuhrer which i guess is a major i feel like the way german rankings work is they just keep adding more onto the same word and then we call that a major Sturmbannfuhrer. S-S-Sturmbannfuhrer. Fuhrer. Sturmbannfuhrer. And then we call that a major. So we're talking about text efficiency. Who won that one? You may have invented all the rockets.

It's weird how they were, I guess they were bad at manufacturing and good at science. Because I've got this thing from Band of Brothers in my head that's like, look at you, Fox! You had horses! Why did you think you could win? We have Jeeps and you have horses. They did have horses. I think they were good at manufacturing for what they had, but, like, England and Russia and the USSR and us, like,

we had empires. So we could outsource and have a lot more manufacturing. We're also a lot bigger because Germany was much smaller because of World War I having cut down a lot of... America's manufacturing didn't get bombed, which is a big advantage. Yes, the main issue was the bombing. That's what gave us such a huge economic benefit

after World War II is because they were all coming back and we're like, hey, you like cars? Because we could still make them. The main issue was the bombing. We were bombing their factories continuously. And the second biggest issue was getting things like rubber and steel and coal and oil imported in. Because especially as the Soviets started encroaching in from the east, those supply lines were really drying up. The United States Navy did that to them also. Yeah. encroaching in from the the uh the east like those supply lines were really drying up the

united states navy did that to them also yeah and they weren't getting anything from from japan or italy anymore they were really they're really running out of resources and manufacturing that's why like they they had better tanks but not so many of them you know they they couldn't make so many of them also their tanks were tremendously more complex and difficult to build than ours were. You know what's funny is like Italy really slips through the cracks in all this. They change teams. Those goddamn Germans and those

goddamn Japanese and Italy's like, oh yeah, they were the worst. You guys want to go to Olive Garden? Yeah. Yeah, let's go. We would have been cool the whole time. Who's your favorite video game player? That's what we are like. Just a lovable mustachioed gentleman who ate a lot of carbs.

So you're playing Smash Brothers now, Taylor? Yes. Yeah, I'm having a lot of fun with it. I'm not good at all. Have you gone multiplayer yet? You're playing online? I haven't played any multiplayer. And I tweeted about it the other, I guess like five or six days ago,

just being like, hey, what level bot should I be able to beat before I go on to multiplayer? And apparently like two of the biggest Smash players in the world who have won tournaments were like, i got tagged in this thread what you want to do is xyz this this this and i watched a couple of this guy's name zero okay uh a couple of his uh videos and i immediately like if you ever watch someone play a video game and immediately watching their gameplay you're like ah no this is not doable for me i have a whole channel based on it yeah i can't possibly emulate this level of success

but he would like give tips like yeah and as soon as you see this cue from this character do this you want to hit him with an up b over a this that the other thing and then you can keep him bouncing in the air don't do this and i'm just like i'm just trying to remember the button combos and so they gave me some helpful tips with that so it was cool getting getting tweeted at from zero like that because he's got like a quarter million followers and i watched some of his stuff he's bafflingly good at this game like can i've always played where you go to the end of the map and then you punch people off the end of the map and then hopefully they fall they are so good they do like edge guarding where the way super smash works for those of you

out there who don't know is you try and get them to fall off the map and then they go and they die. They come back on a little platform and drop back down and you know, you have a limited number of stock number of lives. They will push somebody off the edge and then jump off the edge with them and try and like continue air battle. And then at the last second, double jump back up and grasp.

And sometimes they're having battles below where the screen ends, and it just shows little icons. I don't know how you're doing these things. He's like, another thing you want to take advantage of is grabbing with the hooks. So if you're playing Link or Samus

and you get knocked off, you double B up over A, and then you think you're going link or samus and you get knocked off you double b up over a bottle of bing and then you think you're gonna die you zap your cannon over there it pulls you over and you're good to go and it's like i i can't like i can't i can't do the i don't have the thumb dexterity to do what you're saying but regardless i'm having a super ton of fun with the game i'm playing wolf mostly wolf wario ganondorf uh and sonic and i like all those characters so far they're they're a lot of fun they have things in common like are they all all specially they're all like different so like uh it's like wario and ganondorf are heavy

and so they like they're slower but they deal out a lot of damage sonic is super super light so doesn't do barely any damage it seems like or at least i'm not good enough with him to deal a bunch of damage uh but he's super super fast and then wolf is somewhere in the middle he's like from the star fox universe and i like him the most because he's got a nice little he's fast enough to be effective he's got a good double jump he's got a laser gun which i think is neat i realize these guys would not pick their characters based on who they think is the neatest uh but that's i i don't care i'm not going to a tournament this is how i want to play so playing world war z lately i don't think it's a popular game but i basically i was looking for left for dead 3 and it's the closest thing out there it's very similar and uh it's not good for me because i feel like like every day i want to advance you have to rank

up characters and rank up your guns and stuff like that and it's like i'm being productive like all right well you know i got 350 fake dollars do that twice and i can upgrade my gun so don't say i got nothing done this afternoon. Yeah. Like, I don't know. Sure, the yard's not mowed, but check out this rifle. Yeah, I got a scope. So, you know, making some progress. Can you pay for the money? Can you like buy it with real world monies?

Not that I know of. I think that there is some DLC you can buy, but it's a cosmetic, like a better knife that probably does the same thing. Fucking PUBG has shit for sale they have like a store and their prices are fucking retarded they're so fucking stupid like a pair of flip-flops like like flip-flops for your character to wear that's cool you never look at your feet you never look at what other people do not really i've never noticed a guy's feet. Did he have high heels on though?

Because you might have noticed it if he had heels. They're $5. I can buy real world flip flops for $5. I thought they were going to be much higher when you said the prices were ridiculous. Like $300. That's ridiculous. No. There is stuff that's

$100. But it's on the Steam marketplace because, like, they're kind of like Rust that they sell direct for limited periods of time. And then there's a market on Steam where, like, the people who snatch stuff up early can now market it at an increased price because of supply and demand.

It's garbage. You have to, like, buy these. You have to earn these crates and then buy these keys to open the crates. And you've got like a 0.01% chance of getting anything that's worth anything. Or you can buy direct from them. Like they have a lot of stuff that's like streamer related. Like you can buy this streamer's coat and the streamer has designed a coat and the streamer gets a chunk of the money if you buy their coat or you can buy this streamer's gun skin and say

same scenario but they're all bad they're all bad and they're way overpriced like one gun skin like 15 bucks or something on rust you were paying to get i think any skin but only on that server right yeah does that rust server do anything to make you come back after the wipe? Do you get it again? How do they suck you in? The only thing that would keep me coming back to a Rust server is it really depends. I was always looking for, like I said,

a good balanced population level where it's not so many people that you can't walk out your door without being in a war zone. I don't want it to be Call of Duty every time I walk outside, but I also don't want it to be just a desolate expanse

where like, yeah, I think there's a guy that lives two miles that way. Maybe we go fuck with him. So I wanted a good population. Good ping was always important, of course. And some things you could sort of pay for, but not too much. Some of the servers, they're like, you give me $150 and you can have everything you ever wanted.

And it's like, well, what's the point of fucking playing then if somebody's going to do that? Like you're getting free airdrops that are just coming all the time. You've got all the guns right off the bat. You've got everything. I'm not having fun anymore. there's nothing to work for but i do want to be able to pay to get like the skins and some real low tier basic shit because that early game like grind can be kind of garbage because inevitably someone will have an ak three hours into the game it somehow or they'll get enough um they'll get an they'll get enough money to go actually purchased a fully uh like a fully automatic m4 machine gun and it's like fuck how do we how do we play against this guy we have bows not even the

good bows we've got like like like long bows so i like it if they like let you immediately have a revolver for for example. If you paid $5 or $10 or something like that. That's the stuff that would make me keep coming back. There was really no carryover at all. That's the nature of Rust as

a game, is the lack of the carryover. I guess you could say, I'm sure in Minecraft there was this carryover. Let me lay it out. That keeps new people from coming in so you end up with a static player base you're not wrong but like for example we had a character trait called acrobatics and if you're a brand new character you might take fall damage in 10 blocks and i would go 15 before i took all damage and you could get that either by paying for it or by spending time on the server.

And then we wipe everything out and we want you to come back. So that trait would come back next time. And you might get a little better at bows or a little better at swords, et cetera, falling. Yeah, that's one of the things that... That's super fast. If you have a lot of time in the game,

you might not want to just throw that away and go to competitor craft yeah see that and but i understand that point of it but the uh the other side of that coin is that's the sort of thing that would sometimes prevent us from joining a server if everybody was already so far ahead or everybody already had the shit that we'd be grinding for you really wanted like like ideally we're all on a completely level playing field, and I'm going to outwork you. That's one of the reasons we went to lower and lower team sizes as time went on.

At first, it seemed like everybody I knew wanted to play Rust with me. And then after a while, they realized, this is a fucking job that you have gotten us involved with, Kyle. I'll hop in occasionally. How about that? And it's like, no. No. How about no?

Yeah, yeah. All these guys have a solid eight-man team. We have two and six part-timers. That's exactly how it would be. Or there were servers where it's unlimited. Where you can only go out raiding or attacking or roaming, as it's called, with six guys.

But back at base base you'd have that bitch slap full of people you get 50 people in there if you want and they're all going out acquiring resources and and killing people like like in six-man teams spread out around the map it's like no this is bullshit so we were like six-man team oh you can't play all the you can't play eight hours a day four man team three man team by the end it was a two man team it was just me and one other guy just just playing because we both would put the time in and we dominated we dominated to the point where we're like we need a new server this is no fun anymore we've killed everybody around us we've got everything that we

can get nobody can compete with us we're we've done it we've won yeah server size is a big deal like again there's parallels but i woody craft you had to roll deep to be competitive it was probably the best at its peak the best competitive server and uh if you had three people in there looking to have fun someone's gonna steal your lunch money like yeah absolutely and it wouldn't even matter if you're good at the game you know they'll they'll just keep coming in waves and you know yeah they'll be picking each other up if they get knocked down um they're they've just got more resources to expend on you you know explosives are about man hours to acquire those set explosives it's like all right well i need 36 man hours to make five c4. All right. Well, if they've got 36 people playing,

they're going to have some C4 real quick. They're going to have, they're going to have C4 in an hour and we're going to be, we're going to be fucked in the ass. Whereas we've got to work all week to get our C4. And I love rust, but PUBG is definitely what I'm playing right now because I don't feel like that grind is stressful.

It literally is stressful. Like, like, cause I wake up and I'm, I come in here and I'm like right now because I don't feel like that grind is stressful. It literally is stressful. I wake up and I come in here and I'm like alright, let's see if I still have a base. Clickety click, clickety clack. And it has this very specific way of how the game loads in and it's one of two things. It's either

your character wakes up and he's where you left him, you know, or he's dead or it just, it says you survived three days, four minutes. You were killed by, you were killed by Wario,

Wario's cunt master with a pickaxe. And it's like, fuck me. They came in here while I was asleep. They blew my walls down. They, they took my tool cover. They built the walls back so they could eat at their leisure.

And then they murdered me with a pickaxe. Those motherfuckers. And sometimes the game glitches. So you don't even know who got you. It'll just be like, you were killed by unknown. And I'm just like, I can't even seek revenge.

So then I'm in the chat next day. Like who was that big raid over in section a seven. That was big. Who did that? Good job, you guys. And somebody will brag like, we did it. Noted. You know what's better than playing Rust?

Mario Contraster. Strike again. Rust videos. I keep saying the same thing. But man, they take that 36 hours, condense that to 10 seconds of the story. That's not what it's about. that 36 hours condense that to 10 seconds of the story you know that's not what it's about and and you know the video of course focuses mostly on their success i watch stevie a lot he's become my favorite and uh his videos always end sadly like like you know we did this we got rated we

came back we rated them such a success uh the untold part of the story here is they actually raided us after that you know yeah that they never seem to win win they never like win the wipe they just have moments of victory i like watching the guys who win win there's there's a few out there that just dominate and destroy and and like they'll get bored of one server and they'll just jump onto another and immediately dominate. They're so good with the bows that it doesn't matter if the people have guns. They'll just kill the people with their bows

and take their guns. They skip that whole part of the game that we do where you acquire blueprints and scrap to research things. They don't do that. They just kill enough people with bows that they take people's guns and then they use the guns to kill the people.

And then they just sneak into their base. They go deep on them and take their explosives and then use those explosives on some. It's like, you, you don't, you're not even playing the game, right?

Stevie's that good. Like it'll be like two on four. Right. And then it goes down to three on one. And Stevie's like, all right, Hey, are you dead,

dead or just down? Dead dead? Okay, you're going to want to work your way back because I'm about to get a lot of loot. And then he just 3v1s them, you know, like 1v3s them, I suppose. And he can be outgunned. And he doesn't win every time. But it's pretty neat to watch. But I don't think I want to play that game.

I don't think I want to hit a tree for hours on end. Yeah, that sounds boring. There's some free hitting. But the thing about the free hitting is you guys got to get Super Smash Brothers. We'll play online. I will never get that. No.

Wait, did you not play as a kid ever on N64? Never, not once ever. No, I didn't have an N64. Well, you seem adamantly against it. It's a pretty fun game. No, thanks. Okay okay you've been completely discarded i uh i can't see this video very well i'm sorry that i can only see i've always wondered about these metal straws being dangerous i've always thought like like because sometimes i'll

like fuck up and go to sip out of a drink with a straw on it and like stab myself with a plastic straw and i thought i'm glad it was a plastic straw you have a drinking problem all right sometimes like the guy in airplane missing his mouth sometimes i stab myself with the straw yeah like so this is a reusable straw the problem with reusable straws how do you clean the middle You've got these pipe cleaner things. You just probably soak it. No, it's this special... Yeah, just a pipe cleaner, I guess. It's a bristly pipe cleaner. It's like a metal handle and a very...

Almost like a toilet brush type end on it. And you just go in and out. It's also a fucking straw. Like, you could put some Dawn in the tip and run water through it for a while and then put some on the other side, run water through it. It's going to be fine.

I think you're right, although it might dry slow and be yucky. But I don't usually give my straws that much attention. See, I don't either because I like plastic straws. I've said from the beginning, don't go back and check, that this paper straw thing is going to lead to metal straw use. And the first woman in Britain was walking around having her tea with her metal straw or some drink tripped

the metal straw went Batman style what the Joker did threw her eye into her brain killed her threw her eye into her brain and killed her all because it was a 10 inch straw yeah because she couldn't use a plastic straw you think people are using metal straws

if there are plastic ones available? Hell no. But you can't use the paper ones because then you're on the clock to drink your drink super fast because it'll get slurry and stick to your lips and become just a paper mist and mush in your drink. And you don't need that.

Oh, Ms. Struthers. Apparently, Mandy said in a statement read the inquest that her partner had been a former jockey and was prone to falls after a horseback injury when she was 21 she had scoliosis a curvature of the spine and had dealt with substance abuse issues her wife said oh and she died not from the substance abuse not from something akin to her falling off a horse but from a metal straw that's how dangerous these things are i uh i go through so many straws and and these like like i've i've started polluting as much as i can in my 30s so i i only use these plastic cups once each um i just fill the trash can up with them i don't recycle either i refuse i refuse i was reading something that like for a while now

all of our recycling has been like a smoke and mirrors nonsense thing because china used to buy all of our trash and now china's like we make enough we're not buying your trash anymore and so like a lot of it just ends up our recycling and our waste just goes to the same landfill in a lot of circumstances because it's no longer being shipped in giant ass crates over they were burning it for fuel anyway you know what i don't like about tires recycle i i feel like they should be buying my recycling right instead i pay to have my recycling taken. And then someone else gets free raw materials. They just take paper and water, stir it together, make new paper, and sell it.

And I'm like, that's so much cheaper than chopping trees down and turning that into paper. It's crazy. I'm just giving away raw materials so that you can make money. Why aren't I cutting on this? I'm burning my paper from now on. And these paper straws. It might happen. They're terrible.

Are they? They stick to your lip. They stick to your lips. And if you don't drink your drink fast, it becomes mush. Yeah. I don't think I'd like it. Ted Turner's restaurant uses those. I remember he's been using them for like a decade.

And I just remember going in there and ordering his ridiculous bison burger for like 25 dollars and then pricey burger it was not good either it's too lean and then and then just like they're the fat paper straws they're like i don't know how big like like a peanut would definitely fall straight through it and and just being like fucking stuck in my like as i pull away from the drink it's in my mouth it's stuck to my lip it's on me i would hate that do you guys get the shivers if you lick like a popsicle stick the wooden stick yeah i know exactly what you're talking about i'll get that from paper sometimes too like if i rub my fingers on paper the wrong way i can't touch cotton a shiver yeah you some people are like like that tactile response is different for

different people for me it's paper and exactly what you said woody yeah i've never had it from cotton though i would imagine a plastic straw would not sit right with me you mean a paper straw yeah i said it wrong yeah i don't think i've ever tried a paper straw though yeah there are some places around here that stopped serving straws altogether can't touch the ends of a Q-tip. Any sort of cotton at all. Really? I would have been a terrible slave. I'd have ran away the first day. Do you hate that feeling when you pinch the cotton

and you rub it? Yeah. Can you put it in your ear? Yeah, that's fine. I thought it might be for some reason. I don't know why. I can't take loose cotton and put it in there. No, but I was talking about a Q-tip.

A Q-tip's fine, but I can't touch the end of the Q-tip Dude, Q-tip is running the most hilarious campaign for their products ever where they're just like you can use it for fucking wiping up small messes You can touch your forehead You can get makeup off with it

Don't put it in your ear though because that would result in lawsuits and it's like who are we all kidding who's using those for anything but like the small messes have you ever spilled a drop well do i have the product for you i was i was watching i was watching um uh monty python the holy grail because it was on, I think, either Amazon or Netflix. And I hadn't seen it since I was a kid. And I remember laughing super hard as a kid. And I was still laughing pretty hard at a lot of it.

Not as hard as usual. Or I guess usual being 20 years ago. And still the part that gets me. And it got me back that hard in anything. Where they're like, and what floats? Like a duck. Wood. A duck. Very small rocks. and it got me back then harder than anything. They're like, and what floats? A duck! Wood! A duck! Very small rocks.

It's just very small rocks. I just lose it. That is such a classic movie. I love it when they're gonna fucking, they've got that witch that they've caught and they're like, look at her! She looks like a witch! She's dressed like one! You put his clothes on me! look at her she looks like a witch she's dressed like one you put his clothes on me look at her nose you you put his nose on me it's fake are you saying this is not your true

nose no it's a false one he like lifts it up and it's clearly a false one it's like a hollowed out gourd with strings that go around the back and the way they play up the king being the wise one where they're like and what else floats wood very small rocks frogs and then he yells a duck like with like absolute wise confidence if she weighs more than a duck she's a witch yeah it's just such nonsense. I like the movie. I watched it maybe six or eight months ago or something to laugh my ass off. When he's having the fight with the knight, the black knight or whatever it is,

and he's just like, You fought valiantly, sir knight, but it's over now. The battle is done. No, it isn't. Your arm's right there on the ground. No, it isn't your arm's right there on the ground no it isn't what a flesh what a flesh wound i'll get back here i'll bite your legs off yeah he leaves him as just a stump still alive still alive somehow yeah it's fucking great oh that's such a good movie what's another good monty python one uh i know that's the only one i really like yes i like the show a lot but like the movies like

life of brian or whatever like like it's it's kind of hit or miss for me that didn't make me laugh very hard yeah i uh i really like the the holy grail thing but uh the rest of it's not the movies anyway that i've seen i can't even think of the name of the third one i watched um something i don't know i was watching this movie the other day called limitless have you watched that advertisement yeah it's where what's his name bradley cooper is the actor he takes this pill and it makes him like really good at everything and he's super smart and he's got all these facts and he gets really into finance and stocks and he makes a ton of money. He knows everything he's ever heard.

That's like his superpower. Super smart, it doesn't make him smart about things he's never seen before. It just makes his ability to learn off the charts and everything he's ever heard now has perfect recall, which includes like kung fu movies and other. Yeah, he's basically become a superhero have you seen this before gal yeah limitless yeah i literally wanted adderall

afterwards it was like i gotta have this power i was thinking like man if i had that i would learn stocks and bonds and make a bunch of money and then like i had more of like a clarity with myself and it's like no you would be retarded and devote all of your newfound mental powers to like screaming about how we didn't actually land on the moon on the street corner with like just a lot of sports trivia yeah a lot of hockey trivia probably which is the least valuable of trivia because nobody fucking cares about hockey yeah it's only gonna help you you at some bar night quiz contest or something. Or just some guy who, instead of making a bunch of money, he takes his limitless pill

and he's just screaming right-wing conspiracies about how Jews are behind him. He doesn't take any of it and make it valuable. He's just a maniac. I don't know. The idea of that made me laugh. You can learn anything in any second. Yeah, but do you know what they're doing?

It's like, oh, God. You don't want to get into stocks or something? Yeah, it's like hashtag they can't stop us all or something. Oh, I've got this article pulled up. Yeah. You know about it, too. The Area 51 thing?

Uh-huh. They're planning on charging area 51 in mass to like get to the aliens i love this thumbnail picture they have just a picture of and that's a real that's a real picture oh oh well i believe you now i hope that if aliens do show up, they're all short little bitches like that bagel shop guy. Complaining about how they can't get laid. Because that'll suck if they look a lot like us, but they're all seven foot one and jacked.

That's the worst possible opportunity. I would love it if 300,000 Facebook users stormed Area 51. That would be... Hilarious. That would be so great. That would be hilarious. That would be one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I would join them if that many showed up. And I don't even really care what's happening in Area 51.

I'll let you cross that bridge alone. My prediction is maybe 30, 40, 50 people are going to actually do it and they're going to be in a lot of trouble. Yeah. Oh yeah. I wonder if the area 51 people are stepping up their security at all they don't need to step it up from where it already is it's it's pretty absurd do you know something about like i know nothing about it i picture it as a empty

outpost in the middle of nowhere like barely manned miles and miles of it are are observable and they've got strike teams that'll ride out and stop you if you try to go out there. There's fences. There's seismic detectors in the desert out there. There's drones flying overhead. It's no good.

I feel like if you get out there now, Area 51 is so famous that if anything was really cool there, they would have moved it to some other bunker. And so it's just going to be like paperwork about how they made a jet faster. That's what they want you to think,

Taylor. You used to be able to get fairly close. Look into it. You used to be able to get close enough to see it. Like you used to be able to get close enough to see it with a telephoto lens. And then they bought miles and miles more of desert to push. Telephoto lens. then they bought miles and miles more of desert to push telephoto lens

yeah it's it's a lens that allows you to see things far away no telephoto just like telescope is what i've always heard telephoto sounds like old-timey i think that's what you'd put on a camera though if you don't put yeah telephoto lens go ahead i'm not much of a photographer yeah what's this alien center. What did she just leak? Oh, it's related to what we're seeing. 300,000 fans sign up to breach Area 51 for joke Facebook event. There have to be aliens out there.

I can't stop all of us. There just have to be aliens out there. There's no way we're the only thing with intelligent life in the cosmos. There's got to be aliens out there. There's no way we're the only thing with intelligent life. Oh, I definitely believe there's aliens. In the cosmos. There's got to be more shit. Yeah, I definitely absolutely believe there's aliens out there.

I just don't think they've been here. Maybe they have. I don't know. I mean, maybe they have, but I've never seen one. So I'm going to go with probably not. You seem to believe that guy who Joe Rogan had on a few weeks ago. I wouldn't say that I believe him as much as i would say that he is very believable and he's kept his story straight for 30 years and that the things that he has he say i don't understand how he knows the things that he knew

that have turned out to be absolutely true um and i don't understand why his educational background has literally been just deleted from the records. He was clearly educated enough that they hired him for a nuclear laboratory at Los Alamos. That's provable. You can see his name on the employment sheet, but he didn't go to college? That doesn't add up to me. He's clearly a smart guy. Guy was building rockets and jet engines when he was in his teens and early 20s and stuff. It's a real curious case.

He got raided by the FBI. They didn't really have a good reason for doing so. They were searching his hard drives and stuff. What they suggested implied was that maybe he took a little bit of that element from the laboratory when he left. They think that maybe he has some and they're searching for it. I don't know about that Bob Lazar guy. It's very confusing to me because on the one hand I think we'd have

I don't know why the aliens wouldn't come out on the one hand, I think we'd have... I don't know why the aliens wouldn't come out to the rest... to the people of Earth and talk to us or something. And on the other hand, like... I don't know. If somebody's name is Balthazar, I trust what they have to say about aliens.

I believe there's life out there. Bob Lazar, not Balthazar. Oh, I thought you said Balthazar somewhere. I was hearing it too. Robert Lazar. If there's a one in a million chance of a planet springing life on it, then there's billions of planets out there, right?

There's an infinite number of them, to be fair. We have no idea. There's billions and billions that we can see. The worst possible thing is if the aliens showed up here and they were just like these people are retarded they suck and they just there's a sci-fi book about that like there there's aliens going by and they're talking to each other through brain waves or something like that and they're like oh earth and they're like yeah it's disgusting down there they're like they communicate by wet meat slapping and they're like what yeah yeah they've got wet meat near their brains

that they slap around and whistle all the time and their aliens are just like fuck that place and they fly by yeah well they don't they probably don't even have dicks so fuck them they maybe it's like star trek you know like where they have like a prime directive where they're that they have this this sort of rule where they don't want to interfere with uh within you know cultures that are just kind of getting started and and like like mess up their their natural evolutionary track you know that was the thing in star trek and they were always fucking it up like they're terrible every other episode they spent eons worshiping crew members and things like that yeah yeah like like like you know they there was one where they they're like they have this like invisible bunker where they're watching this primitive culture.

I think they've got bows and arrows and shit and little cities, and they're watching them. But then something fucking happens. There's a power surge, and the shielding comes off the bunker, and now they can see the bunker. I want to say one of them falls out of the fucking bunker and gets hurt, and they grab him up and take him back, and now he's this spaceman they're trying to learn from.

It's great. It's always happening. Not doing that is the prime directive. It's their number one rule, and they foul it up constantly. Constantly fucking it up. Yeah, they're constantly fucking it up. Is there any punishment for when they fuck it up,

or is it kind of like, hey, don't you guys do that a fifth time? Oh, they threaten career-ending punishments. Yeah, there's a lot of threats of punishment. I don't recall anyone getting in real trouble. They never really follow through. God damn it, Shatner, get in my office. Again?

Again with this, Shatner? If you do this a seventh time, believe you me, you're going to get knocked down to captain fool me for four seasons shame on me Star Trek's great I haven't I I wish I wish there was a new Star Trek show that wasn't Discovery I mean oh is there one going on right now there's a Star Trek Discovery that's a sort of social justice warrior fucking nonsense that I refuse to watch and it's always been that way right uh it's worse now it has always been that way and why does it suck now well because modern social justice is is

is is about things that aren't real um and and and you know made up things uh and and old social justice was about hey you're black i'm white but we're the same on the inside and it's like yeah well that's true you you guys are fighting for some fucking imaginary in this universe is actually not true i have three hearts and no liver because i'm you know from mars but there was literally an episode of the original series where there were these two opposing races from this planet and they were split down the center white and black and one one race was white on the right and black on the left and the other was the opposite of that so like they were like mirror images of each other literally

if they looked at each other but because i'm black on the right you're black on the left we hate each other and and shatter like shatter starts sets the ship to self-destruct with the two leaders on board and he's like you're gonna make peace or die and this is like it just makes them make peace that way what does he sound like uh well yeah the butter side up and butter side down people i'm thinking the one with the stars upon dars and you know that this dr seuss book i mean i have to look at it no the one i remember is they're like yeah on this side cindy loo who on this side of the wall we butter our toast butter side down and she'd be like i just want i want to have my toast however i want and they're

like you you dumb cunt you don't understand what's at stake here. And then at some point, there's a page where she's walking on the wall and some other guy's walking on the wall. And she's like, I got my toast with my butter on the top. And he's like, I got my toast with the butter on the bottom. And they're like, we're not just so different, you and I. But it doesn't make sense to butter it on the bottom. Your hand's going to get buttery.

And then a huge massacre starts. Blood, gore, everywhere. That part didn't happen. What I'm talking about is the sneetches. You guys have probably heard it. You just need your memory jogged.

I wasn't a big into Dr. Seuss growing up. That wasn't a thing, really. Green eggs and ham, and then that was about it. Seaches. Yeah. Did a lot of reading assignments and fucking mathnomics or some shit as a kid.

Mathnomics? I don't know. It was always some sort of program. Were you a mathlete? I was a mathlete. My mom always had this little home curriculum from the time I was like mathlete. My mom always had this little home curriculum from the time I was like fucking three. There should be Olympic mathletes. That'd be fun.

No, don't give China and Japan another opportunity to beat our asses. Strong point. Yeah, I take it. Why do the Chinese guys keep touching their ears so much? Oh, that's a really tough question. It's holding us here. touching their ears so much oh that's a really tough question so you're about to say something i just we've talked about this before but netflix is going through their worst nightmare and uh they're just i saw an article that kind of laid it out in an interesting way.

The best three selling movies this year are Avengers Endgame, Captain Marvel, and Aladdin. Disney owns all three. The best three selling movies of 2018 were Black Panthers, Infinity War, and Incredibles 2. Disney owns all three. The best three movies, selling movies of 17 star wars last jedi guardians of the galaxy beauty and the beast disney owns all three they're pulling them all from netflix they're putting them on the disney story that disney thing disney also owns espn like disney owns all the content and netflix looks screwed they gotta break break Disney up or something. That's ridiculous.

They're losing the fucking office. I'm pretty upset about that. That's interesting, because they're losing the office in like 2022. Does that sound right? People are already upset about it. I thought sooner than that. I'll Google it.

Wait, it might be on here. So Universal, NBC Universal owns the office, wait it might be on here so Universal NBC Universal owns the office and they're launching their own streaming service and pulling the office for good by the end of next year so maybe 2020 yeah

at first I thought Netflix was dumb for making all their own content but now I think they saw the writing on the wall. Yeah. Everyone's pulling their content and making their own streaming service, which means, R, me matey,

because I don't want to have like 30 different streaming services to pay for. It's just like old cable. Yeah, I'll figure something else out. I won't steal it because that's wrong, but I'll... I would never. I don't know where you're getting that from kyle no i i think there's some there's got to be something in the middle like i don't want to buy every one of them but there should be some sort of package i can get on board with where i where i get get eight of them at a reduced cost like the old system again right like everyone

wanted a la carte because they didn't want to pay $80 for their cable bill. And then it went out and now it's, you know, this Well, I don't fuck cable channels and fuck cable TV. I don't do that shit. I don't watch commercials. I refuse to watch commercials if I can absolutely avoid it. The only commercials I end up watching anymore is like

the ones that the UFC unfortunately puts in their pay-per-views after I pay $65. But other than that, I don't watch any commercials. And, but, but I wish there was some sort of way that I could get, like,

I want the Disney shit. I want the universal shit. I'm still, I'm keeping Netflix and Hulu. Cause I, I like Seinfeld and I like Netflix. I like, I like their originals.

They're, I've been talking about it for three or four years now, but eventually they're making that movie. The Irishman would like, like Scese and every italian actor you've ever heard of i i'm keeping netflix i i think i believe in netflix but god i don't want to pay 150 a month or something for for all my different streaming services i need something that clusters them for 80 or 50 or 40 or whatever All I seem to need is Netflix. All I seem to really need is YouTube and UFC.

That's what I watch. It's fucking expensive to get UFC. It is. It is. I've told you before, what I really want, I'll pay a lot for UFC, like $20 a month, and then just give it all to me. That's so much better than me picking the two events a year.

$20 doesn't cover it. It doesn't, but I wish it did. Oh, it does. Oh, it does. Oh, fuck. What was it? What did I see the other day where you could buy a year's subscription or something like The ESPN Plus stuff?

Yeah. Yeah. It's the event plus ESPN Plus for like 80 bucks, I think. Right. But you still have to buy every event for 60 bucks. Every event. Yeah. But see, if you want to watch the prelims, you need ESPN.

I don't know if you have ESPN. I just got it after the last event I paid for the whole thing. So now I have ESPN Plus and I have one US. No, no, no. ESPN, not ESPN Plus. They're different. Right? I wanted to watch the prelims and I'm like, well, I got ESPN Plus.

Plus means minus. It does not include ESPN,n the channel the cable channel so i had to get on fucking sling tv and add a espn so that i could watch the prelims because i wanted to see them like there were some good fights on there yeah i think the i think the early prelims are on maybe espn plus or maybe the ufc app it's or the other. I don't recall exactly. Probably ESPN Plus. Then you've got to go to the ESPN channel and then back to ESPN Plus and purchase the pay-per-view to get the whole shebang.

If you want a full six or seven hours of UFC on a Saturday night. And I do. I wanted it. I actually wanted the prelims too. There were some interesting fights. But I'm too addicted to this World War Z video game. I had to burn new guns or something. So i didn't jump in until the main card there was one of the worst women's fights i've ever seen it was i think it was strawweight whatever uh rose nami unis

what makes it worse isn't good or bad uh they didn't they didn't fight engage essentially for three rounds rogan was like let's be honest this is not what people are gonna want to buy espn to come watch this is this is not good rogan can be good that way sometimes i feel like he's a little kind to fighters for example there are people like he wouldn't he would never say yo romero or paul costa costa uses steroids right but they obviously use steroids. Super obvious, crazy, like, they're ridiculous. But Rogan wouldn't say that, and I feel like he's a little... That's not company man.

That's more like fighter, friend of the fighter. It could be. Yeah, yeah. I agree. But then other times, like you just said, there was another one. It might have been blades versus

nganu where he just really called out like this is one of the worst fights in the history of fighting yeah yeah he'll definitely he'll call it like he sees it as far as like the quality of the fight and you know he has different standards for which he deems a fight good or bad some of the fights that a lot of people thought were boring like um the Tyron Woodley-Wonderboy one fight, or even the most recent Jon Jones fight. He was big fans of both. I think the Jon Jones fight was much better than the Tyron Woodley-Wonderboy fight, though.

There was a lot of contact and action. I agree. I'm glad Tyron's not the champ anymore. Some people didn't like the Woodley-Uzman fight, though. There was a lot of contact and action. I agree. I'm glad Tyrant's not the champ anymore. Some people didn't like the Woodley-Uzman fight, but not every fight is the most exciting one you've ever seen. I thought that was a decent fight. I don't blame the fighter. When he's a technical guy and he's fighting a

huge powerhouse of a... I don't blame Conor for fighting a certain way against Habib that he wouldn't fight against Nate. You can't fight him the same way. And by the same regards, I didn't blame DC for how he fought, what's his name, the Black Beast. He's like, we're not going to stand up and throw. Derek Lewis maybe?

Derek Lewis. You're going down. And you're staying there. And it's like, yeah, you're the, one of the best wrestlers in the UFC. He can't wrestle for shit. He did that to Anderson Silva too.

Yeah. Fucking do it. That's, that's play it. Play your role. Yeah. And Anderson Silva hit him with a liver shot or rib shot or something like almost won that fight. Like just,

he's dangerous. Silva's very dangerous. I like watching him fight still. I wish they could find a good opponent. Honestly, I want to see him just beat somebody up. I don't care. Let him fight an 18th ranked guy. Matt Hughes.

Matt Hughes. Wheel him in. Luke Rockhold in there. He doing but he's but right now that he's got beat by a train i think or a car accident or something they're all happy he's walking i like silva on this one fucking you know luke rockhold's jaw is broken yeah i read that i read i don't know if you saw this knockout taylor but he got hit like a rocky movie where it was like and like spit like flew out of his mouth i did not knocked him completely unconscious and broke his fucking jaw he got hit so goddamn hard i like the way rockhold fights

like i really enjoy watching him fight but when he interviews he's such a douche he's so cocky he all like i guess there's people of confidence but he just feels like that other guy's stupid and something about the arrogance that drips off of luke rockhold makes him very hateable and it doesn't help at all that he's one of the most handsome men to have ever been in the ufc in the history of the ufc he's a ralph lauren model he's a ralph lauren model and and like like Dana White said it this way he's like yeah everyone's a model now but Luke Rockhold is a successful model who you know has another fallback career after fight he's like Luke Rockhold should retire and be a model he keeps getting knocked out over here and he's crushing it over there and you know like the guy's just ah so I, it didn't hurt me to see him lose that fight.

He thought the other guy was stupid for even taking this fight. He's like, this guy doesn't know. But I like, Luke Rockhold either wins or loses in pretty entertaining fashion. If he's in a fight, I want to see it. I've seen him take some rough losses when Yo Romero, I think, KO'd him. That was, that was rough. I love Weidman, but that KO'd him. That was rough. I love Weidman, but that fight against Weidman was fantastic. Maybe one of the best fights I can recall.

Shucks' fight against Bisping, he lost, but that was really neat to watch. Again, dripping with arrogance. I don't know. He beat, I forget the guy's name, Borsiewicz or something like that, but he had this really weird tumbling thing where he caught his, I think he choked him,

and his ground game was just next level. I wish I could describe it better. Luke Rockhold's fantastic. We should probably get off MMA talk, but. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I like the sport. I think hockey might be more popular, though. I don't know i would love to see a poll which you like more mma talk hockey talk throwing paramotors there i think i got a shot

you don't know what's in there because i think that and ufc will split the difference giving hockey elite there's no way there's mma's got to win that out of the three you guys have No paramotors in there because I think that and UFC will split the difference giving hockey a lead. There's no way. MMA's got to win that out of the three. You guys have got to like MMA more than hockey. I think they'll mock vote for paramotors. Do it, boys. Do it. Don't mock vote.

We want an accurate representation. This show is going to mirror your thoughts, goddammit. Don't shoot yourself in the face with paramotors. Take into account the knowledge of the hosts. Yes. That doesn't matter. It doesn't fucking matter at all.

No, it's just everyone's more entertaining. I really like watching UFC. It's just I can't get into non-team sports. I don't like rooting for just one guy. It's the best. I don't want to watch tennis. I don't want to watch golf. I don't want to. I like watching UFC. The Blues won't be the Blues next year.

And three years from now, they'll be barely recognizable as the Blues that just won this cup. Five years from now, they'll be... Barely any of them will be there. Ten years from now, nobody will be there. But Luke Rockhold will be your head coach. John Jones will always be John fucking rock hole yeah all right john

jones will always be john fucking jones conor mcgregor will always always be conor mcgregor dc will always be daniel cormier he's gonna be him representing him doing what he did and continuing that legacy on forever i think that almost lends a little bit to maybe people who like team sports more the way i do where it's like yeah i don't expect them to stick around forever like i kind of like watching the evolution of a team so like the buffalo sabers have sucked cock for so long so long now but like watching their little pieces come into place and oh they pick this guy up okay that's a good centerman you can slot in a number like watching the evolution of it and the strategy the different teams take i enjoy watching that dude basketball

people hate it when I talk about basketball because I don't know what I'm talking about. And that's true. I'm new to it. But their teams are so small. Like three good players, and you can literally win a championship. Or just LeBron.

That actually proved untrue last year. The Lakers got LeBron. They couldn't surround him with talent. Well, this year he's got... I like seeing him lose. I think they have DeMarcus Cousins and Anthony Davis on LeBron's team and some other people that I'm not really... I'm not him lose. I think they have DeMarcus Cousins and Anthony Davis on LeBron's team and some other people that I'm not an expert.

But this offseason has been fascinating to watch because shit happens. You talked about how the Flyers might be on the rise, right? Yeah. So the Flyers might go from 10th place to 8th place next year. We're all very excited about that move. But the Lakers will miss the playoffs and might even be the favorite to win the championship

this year by picking up two important players. So it's a team sport, but my gosh. It's more of a superstar driven sport than hockey for sure. It is. And also the players get more minutes. If you go to a hockey game hoping to see Tarasenko play,

is 20 minutes a good guess? Yeah, he'll get about 20 minutes of ice time. Yeah. Whereas, you know, like LeBron, for example, might get 40 or 42 minutes of court time. And that's, I don't think they call it court time. But anyway. I like how you're just embracing the, yeah, I'm starting to get into it.

I don't fucking care. I don't know what I'm talking about. I think they call it playing time. You're exactly right. It's not the exact same or not even similar to hockey because you got the Edmonton Oilers who are terrible. They've been bad forever. They drafted Connor McDavid in 2015 and Leon Dreisaitl, I think, in 2014 or something. Both of those guys had 100 plus point seasons last year.

Over 100 points. Leon Dreisaitl scored 50 goals. For not hockey fans, 50 goals is a lot, a ton. Not a lot in basketball. Yeah, not a lot in that. That'd be a bad season. The only guy who consistently scores 50 goals in the NHL modern day is Alex Ovechkin.

That's it, bar none. Nobody else in the cap era scores 50 goals the way he does. But the Edmonton Oilers have two of the best players in the fucking league and they miss the playoffs by leaps and bounds because you can't have connor mcdavid or leon drysaddle playing the entire game and you put shit to your wingers on them they can feed them you put me on connor mcdavid's wing give me two weeks to prep i will get 10 goals and 30 assists next year because I will at least fall. I wouldn't get 30.

I would at least get probably 15 assists. I was going to say you might get some. I would say I'd probably get, you know, uh, well in hockey, as you know, if I get hit with the puck and it goes off of me into the net,

I'm credited that goal. So I'm saying I can get at least seven goals 15 assists if you put just put me out there and let him and let connor mcdavid bounce shit off of me and then every once in a while i'll fall into the puck and then he'll pick it up and do something some dangly do and score like that's how good that guy why does that left winger play with a blocker no reason yeah just deflecting yeah you really you could put like a couple of cones out there and connor mcdavid would get those cones a couple goals a season just from it goalies get assists sometimes yeah yeah beer league hockey is way more common yeah oh and beer league like when you play that as a goalie, every single time it comes down to your end, it's like,

I'm going for the goal! The thing that happens in Beer League is you've got a bunch of players who are like Woody quality, and then that one guy who was in the AHL last year. So all the goalie needs to do is pass to him, and he can get a lot of assists. Yeah, there was one thing where Peter Forsberg, you know who that is. Kyle probably doesn't know who that is. Big fan. Yeah, huge fan.

One of the best Swedish players of all time, if not the best. And he retired. He's in his 40s now, probably late 40s. And he put a bunch of makeup on and prosthetics and went to some Swedish beer league. And for the first half hour, he was fucking up every pass and backhanding it to the other team and doing all sorts of stuff. And then he like just decided to kind of start trying.

And the difference between like people who are pretty good, they were like a couple of like almost minor league Swedish players. And he was just skating around him as a 49 year old. Like it didn't matter. They didn't care. And at one point they're talking in their goofy ass Swedish language. Like, you know, his voice sounded a little bit like peter forsberg that's fuck yeah he just scored his fifth goal in the last three minutes that's fucking peter forsberg over there that would be really cool to be a huge celebrity in a small country like that

you played with pros before right yeah yeah i've had pros coach me and like played uh um there was a pickup games where they kind of fooled around there's an ex-nhl i remember his name and i know he didn't have like a notable career right but he's call him retired seven years out now he's playing he still made the show yeah now he's playing with me dude two things were crazy about him. One, his thighs were gigantic and ripped like a human anatomy chart through his white skin. Like outrageous to look at his thighs. Two, he seemed to skate the same speed, blindingly fast, forwards and backwards, didn't matter. Right? This guy skated backwards and there's a certain kind of like lean forward like like the

beginning of a sprint that you can do on skates he does it backwards as well and it was just like what the no you gotta go forwards and turn around that's how we all do it then this guy could just like sprint backwards and it was outrageous and seeing the differences like between like minor leagues and the big show is crazy where it'll be like oh fucking uh i'll just pick a guy who kind of sucked paul bissonette he's on the spit and chicklets podcast it's a good hockey podcast very funny but he was like a fourth line plug barely got 200 games in scored seven goals in 200 games this is nhl level though yeah nhl level they just turned him into a fighter up there because that's all he could do. And you're like,

man, this guy sucks. What's he even doing in the league? And then you like go to their hockey stats and it's like, AHL, you know, 52 games played 40 goals, 35 assists,

you know, 80 games played AHL, 50 goals, 38 assists, NHL, 80 games played one goal three assists and it's like oh man i guess that was quite the leap for you to be like the grand poobah of your own team and then be like hey yeah uh we're gonna need you to get punched in the mouth tonight because uh frankly you're the least valuable person here and if you don't want to get on a bus back to Wilkes-Barre

in Pennsylvania, you're going to take it. And it's like, all right, well, I guess I'm going to, I'm going to get rocked in the fucking mouth. That would be, it's so crazy. Backup in any sport, I think is the best thing. Backup quarterback, backup goalie, backup whatever basketball is. I mean, basketball is just somebody who rides the pine.

Like, you know, you're never going to get it. You're still making a ton of money like that that would be ideal no pressure no no stress until the quarterback gets hurt yeah well but how often does that happen pretty often all right bad example every season mostly okay well never mind then being a pine rider and basketball would be the ideal one maybe be the backup kicker right kicker probably doesn't get hurt yeah like i love watching like clips from really good kicks and the guy will like he'll kick it off and it'll go forever away and the guy will grab it and you see everybody else on the team charging, and the kicker's like, oh, please don't make it to me. Please don't make it to me.

I love it when the kicker gets a tackle. There's one kicker, I think he played for Indianapolis, he might still, who's just particularly good at tackling people. It's like a real source of embarrassment if the kicker gets you. If only the kicker has left, it should just be a fancy full formality. The kicker puts you down. It's great. This guy's got a highlight reel of it.

I like it when the kicker gets stuff done, but it doesn't happen much. You want to see an NFL player fighting a cop? Oh, I've seen it. Is he a current NFL player? Yeah, I think so. Malik McDowell.

Well, I think I'm going to take Malik in this one. I'm ready to watch. Ready, set, play. Yeah. Ready, set, play. Have a seat in your car, sir. 2-6-8-10-5-5. Have a seat in your car, sir. 2-6-8-10-5-5. Have a seat in your car.

Sir, have you... He's doing it. ...the Marathon 12 in Southfield. So he wants the... That's the player there, the guy who took a seat. He yelled at him multiple times to take a seat, and now he's sitting in the back seat, I think. For going about 60 down Southfield and then you just spun out right there. I just saw you and it's on camera I need your license registration

Spoiler he spun out I need your insurance Yeah, this isn't Denny's dude It's weird to me that he can't get a supervisor. There's no reason to. I see both sides. He's just trying to get special treatment for being an NFL player. There's no reason to request a supervisor. I just told you.

Speeding and you spun out right there. I spun out because it's fucking snowing. Told you he spun out. A second ago he said he didn't. I need your license. Okay, and I need a supervisor. He might want a supervisor just because he'll feel like he'll be treated more fairly if there's witnesses. I disagree though. He might want a supervisor just because he'll feel like he'll be treated more fairly if there's like witnesses.

I disagree though. I think you have a better shot of... ...someone cutting you a break if there aren't six people watching. Oh god, there's a bit of a size disparity! Yeah. That's the same dude from the bagel place. Good camera switch. Yeah. Watch the... The cop is doing everything he can. He bragging that hop to the dairy set the

cop went for a trip I don't know if you saw it completely ineffective get down get down on the ground on the fucking ground get down he's like I'll give you this so if you listen to the audio he's sitting on his butt, impatiently asking for a supervisor. The football player doesn't want to get violent. He's unconcerned about being tased.

He's like, I just got caught in his jacket, didn't do anything. So now he's going to take the taser from the cop because he doesn't want to be tased anymore. Asking for a supervisor the whole way he's still asking for a supervisor they're having a fight and he's asking for a supervisor he took the taser, it's in his right hand now the cop went for a choke he led him, I think.

And here comes a female cop. Surprisingly effective. I feel like what's happening here is the football player has said, they both think I should get on the ground? Maybe I was wrong. All right, now who's your supervisor? I understand. I need a supervisor.

Zone 8 or 216, anything? Yes, sir. Why are you bucking now? I need a supervisor. Go in my car.6, anything? Right bucking now. I need a super bomb. Go in my car. This ain't grass. Get in my car. I need a super bomb. Put me back, Mike.

This one's yours. Go ahead. Jesus. Man, that original cop was not up to task and he was ballsy as fuck what was he thinking if the if the like the guy was towering over him the cop looked like he was five eight and the the player looks like he's six four it's not even close right it's not it like i i feel confident that that player could have killed that cop with his bare hands five eight with dad bod he's a cop yeah a lot of them i mean they sit in cars not jason momoa dad bod either no no actual piece of momoa might have been able to go toe to toe probably not yeah jason's a big boy i don't know that guy's a professional he is but

he's not training for the n. What is Jason's background? He was Aquaman. Yeah, not his filmography necessarily. If he's a god, then maybe Jason Momoa would win. He's an American actor. He played Aquaman. Let's see. He played...

Oh, he was in Batman. He was not Batman. Yeah, I don't care about his filmography. I'm like, did this guy play college football? That was. He was not Batman. Yeah, I don't care about his filmography. I'm like, did this guy play college football? That was what I was going to guess too, right? Like, he probably was an athlete of some sort. Is he American?

He's from Hawaii, yeah. So he's got probably a bit Samoan. He's a model. Is that it yeah i don't see anything about football or anything here says in 2017 he started brazilian jiu-jitsu that's cool so that might have helped i don't know i don't know if that would have given him a distinct edge over right I'd rather hear he started in 2013. Yeah. Man. He asked for the supervisor so many times as if that was the get out of jail free card where it's like ah damn. Jason Momoa was

slashed in the face with a broken beer glass by a man in an altercation in Hollywood. He received 140 stitches during reconstruction surgery. The scar is apparently in his later work. Yeah, on his eyebrow. The assailant got five years in prison

for the attack. Wow. Good, you can't slash people's faces with bottles. You should be slashing Aquaman. It was a glass. Is it okay if it's a glass? No. Yeah, I thought college football would have been a good guess Yeah

Guess not It's just a model But yeah Okay On one hand He was uncooperative But on the other hand He was like semi-cooperative

That football player could have done anything he wanted to to that little white bagel guy. But he chose not to. Yeah. But, I mean, that doesn't make him semi-cooperative. He wasn't going along with what the cops said. Just give him your life. The guy's like, get down, get down.

So he sat on his butt. He's like, lay on his belly. It's all dirty and yucky at the front of a doorway in the snow. And he's like, well, I'll just sat on his butt. He's like, lay on his belly. It's all dirty and yucky at the front of a doorway in the snow. And he's like, well, I'll just sit on my butt. That's what you can have. He was sitting in his car before he... You don't get to do that with cops because the cops sitting there

realizing exactly what you said. Shit, if this guy decides to pop up from his seated stance, which he can do pretty quickly because he's in the fucking NFL, then he's gonna tackle me and he could crack my head open on the 7-11 counter i need you on your stomach so i can cuff you otherwise you may kill me like i understand that's true i like well okay he told her to sit in his car doesn't win any fight with that guy no way the cop told the guy to sit in his car

and he did he sat i think it's the back seat. I couldn't tell for sure. Yeah, it looked like it. Okay. And then the cop still wasn't happy. In my head... Well, the cop told him to get in the front seat of his car, didn't he? And that's when he went into the store. I don't remember it like that, but I'm on a low confidence. You could be right.

He definitely wasn't supposed to go into the store. I wasn't studying it. Yeah, he wasn't supposed to go to the store, that's for sure. But to me, he's sitting in the back seat. I might be like, you know what? We're going to take this partial win until backup comes. And then once there's four people around, he might feel differently about the supervisor thing.

Maybe one of the guys isn't even the supervisor, but he's like, I'm the highest ranking guy here. What's the scoop? You know? Like, there are better ways to handle it than for fucking Bagel Dude to, like, alpha this guy. Because sometimes that's an escalation in itself. This is a mistake I feel like cops commonly make. They go super alpha to the point where the other guy can't save even the smallest of face. And I get it.

Like, that's kind of their role. On the other hand, you have a problem that you didn't need to have. If you deescalated at all, the guy was willing to deescalate. Maybe, I don't know. Like maybe if you deescalate a little bit,

the, you know, somebody sees their opportunity to get at you. Like they always have to assume the worst. And I'm not one to say I can, we watch cop shit all the time where we all agree that they're fucked up and being assholes but when there's a size disparity like that and a strength disparity that's not even put three clones of that guy and he still gets beat

almost as bad i might throw that guy some uh zip ties and be like cuff yourself yeah cuff yourself and uh sit and think about what you did i like that plan actually that's a good place like because i was gonna throw handcuffs terrible cop i am i i've told the story a hundred times of the girls who damaged the house and the cops picked me up two blocks away etc i had a broken arm at the time and they put one cuff on me but the other one couldn't fit around my cast the cop is like dude you can't do that he could swing that around and start using it as a weapon and hit us all with this cuff and i'm like but i'm not gonna you know but i think he was just training the other cop like this is a mistake you can't make a one-handed cuff is a is a use cuff is a problem. And so I'm really

aware of the fact that handcuffs can be weapons. Toss the guy some zip ties, tell him to cuff himself, and that seems like a good plan. Well, I don't think he's going to play much football anytime soon. You think?

It depends. I don't know. Probably resisting arrest. made the prop assault on a police officer oh i think he's wealthy and famous enough yeah that he gets away with it rich people have different sets of rules man before we wrap the show i wanna i'm looking for like a legal update here's his wikipedia page uh I am hungry oh he was released by the Seahawks a month

after this oh maybe he wasn't actually that good I have no idea uh yeah probably if he was that good the Seahawks would be like you know what he's always had great character when we were looking. Based on his performance against Officer McMurphy,

we've decided to cut you from the offensive line. If you can't protect yourself in a 7-11, how are you going to protect our quarterback? It's not going to work. No information available. You guys want to call it a show yeah yeah i think so i got some food in there way nami very hungry nice very good all right pka 447