Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #452

Episode Date: August 23, 2019

On this week's PKA, well it's the first week without Kyle, but we really knock it out of the park. Our friends and favorites, Tucker/Jericho and Kwebbelkop come help fill that void and talk about Taylor's basement snake, the fellas relay an update from Chiz on how Kyle's doing in Prison and then YT God himself, MrBeast joins in for the last 90 minutes to discuss a ton about YouTube.

All right, PKA episode 452. Kyle? This special episode, Sans Kyle, is brought to you by Goat.com, Postmates, SmartMouth, and the National Highway Traffic and Safety Administration. So we got two special guests because Kyle's in prison. We've got Tucker and Webb. Why is that funny? That's not a joke.

You guys really took this prison bit far, huh? Yeah, really all the way. Lozon texted me. He's like, is Kyle really in prison? And I was like, yeah. And he's like, what about the halfway house? Did he break rules? And I was like, no, no.

He just, there was no room for him. And he never even got there. I have real life friends of mine, like in my group text with friends I've known for years being like, dude, what happened to the gun guy? He went to prison they're like fuck dude well that stinks I'm really happy my plan worked out great all I had to do was send him a package of weed

and look now I'm a host of PK thanks guys it's that simple that's an epic troll that's not a confession by by the way, guys. Dude, I thought someone was doing that to me. I swear to God I did. I don't know if I mentioned it on the show before, but the guy writes me on Reddit.

He's like, Woody, I sent you a package. It's really important to me. Now you need to take that package and forward it to this address in New York. And I didn't even reply. I'm like, I want nothing to do with this i don't know what's going to happen whatever package shows up and jackie opens it and it's electronic skateboard parts and it turns out that i used to do these daily vlogs and he would send us like you know packages like little things knives and stuff um because i like them it sounds

weird to other people yeah but i'm a knife guy i like knives a little bit and he would just send it i don't know he's a fan so it turned out this skateboard part it's a like a i guess uh where they put the batteries in for an electric skateboard it's kind of expensive and i just shipped it off to him recently so yeah my record of burning things has been fouled and i'm no longer a perfect non-sender on her. This poor fan, I sent it. But yeah, I thought it was being used as a drug mule or something. No, no. They got you. So the

I don't know if you know this, but the part of the skateboards, the electric skateboards, they're actually used in portable nuclear reactors. Since you sent it to New York, I think we all know what's going to happen there. The Manhattan Project all over again and you you sent it to new york yeah i think we we all know what's gonna happen there the manhattan project all over again and you helped us i don't know if i would have even

opened it but my wife did it i think it was addressed to her so i guess he had my what are you supposed to do like if someone sent you a big bag of weed and you open it give it to you can you just go and go to the police and be like hey this was sent to me are they gonna then be like the fans are located dude that probably be too scared to just show up at the police station with a bunch of weed someone sent me right now what he's like well chis is very busy booking three guests i mean i tried to hire kyle's attorney he's like not this shit again i mean realistically you don't i read this story um a while ago about i think it was in connection with the dude who mailed um his uh like it was a he was

like a host a tv host recently mailed like a racist threats to himself and you remember they called him i can't remember his name the original smolet whatever his name is yeah yeah yeah him so so i went you know i started reading things popping up about how if there's one group that you don't want to mess with an investigative branch it's the usps investigative services like fbi cia and the mail investigators the middleman like like it's scary how good they are at triangulating like which mailbox you dropped it off at like the probability of who it was that sent it that's how they caught him so i mean it like i would go to the police and be like hey this guy mailed me some weed like like what are they gonna do be like nah it was you you brought it

to us and we're gonna arrest you you know it's got your address on it right here it's not the return address help me out here that's pretty funny i just get so scared I burn it all in my backyard and it's just a cloud of weed you're just really high as fuck Woody you have some food in your teeth do I really wow you can see that you should smile for a second

I don't want to anymore yeah there it is did you see it yeah wow we talked for all this time he says nothing the show hey hey i wouldn't have said shit i would have not hey listen i said something the other guys didn't okay so you know thank you you guys have set up so i'm looking off a little laptop screen what is this big dude that was one second one second one second yeah no it's right there i can see it

i really need to figure it out dig it out dig it out a little bit on the show nice parts yeah i'm not gonna i'm not gonna that's gonna be a gift that i regret you guys are not giving me good advice one house left okay i think it was last time tucker on that he pulled Woody into that other one where you're like, alright, now touch your nose and now reach for the camera. He did it twice. He's like, I'll get it. Just sig heil and right at the camera. If you're worried about gifs.

That episode, I don't remember. I woke up the next day and I read my mentions and I was like, what the fuck did I do? What happened? That was a terrifying 24 hours oh we were it was a drinking episode oh okay it's one of the most out there drinking episodes the one where where dick masterson if you guys know who that is he got super wasted and like by the end of it he and kyle he was eating like chicken legs like sloppoppily and challenging everyone to fight. That was pretty funny, but those always are a hoot.

They're just once a year maximum. We were talking on our pre-show podcast, PKN, that we have a hunch mostly because Kyle pretty much all but confirmed it, that he's not going to take this opportunity to work out and to get prison body

ready no and so in order for me and woody to maintain alpha status we're going to treat the next eight weeks as a prison training camp where the whole goal is we're going to be our physiques ideally are going to become unrapable like we don't want to be rapable no unrapeable. No, wouldn't it be unrapeable? No, unrapeable. It depends. How are you going to survive? We're trying to get prison ready. Yeah, but what if now you're just a hot fit bod? Now you're more likely to get raped, aren't you? Maybe, Taylor, our goal should be the raper.

We should be the raper. There's a fork in the road. No, you don't want to be the raper. This is a defensive maneuver. Don't you judge me. Rape the raper. Like Uno Switchcard. That's definitely

possible. Yeah, Taylor, I'm in prison. I'm only raping bad people. It's okay. No, no, no, no, no, no. What about non-violent sex drug offenders? What about someone who like accidentally committed tax fraud you're just gonna you're just gonna do that go to jail

for accidentally committing tax you know but they're all like you know what would be hilarious is if kyle got raped by a guy who committed tax fraud like not even a hard crime like a guy who just made mistakes with his taxes goes to prison and turns into a rapist from the peer pressure. Are you writing off your regular clothing as uniforms? And now you're a raper, too? God, you came in,

you made a couple mistakes on your W-2, but three days in, and you've got a swastika tattoo, and you're raping. Really? You know, it's cooler in here than I thought it would be. This guy makes me feel big. I just feel right at home, you know? I haven't belonged to a group since book club.

So I'm used to getting picked on and given boring Excel documents. I don't get to rape anyone, of course. No, maybe it's good this guy made a tax mistake. I think he was a ticking time bomb. Strong start. no maybe it's good this guy made a tax mistake i think he wasn't taking time strong start yeah we gotta get we gotta get unrapable bodies which means tucker honestly i hadn't considered your point that's a very strong one that if we get better looking right you know uh but you get stronger easier to defend yourself you know what i mean i'm also doing a ton of kegels i'll be able to snap any rapist cock off in my ass on first entry.

Wait, aren't kegels for dudes your urethra? No, I do anal kegels. I just flex my sphincter. You don't do sphincter crunches? It's right between sit-ups and pull-ups. Look at me. I'm sorry. He's doing them right now.

I'm training right fucking now. I've never encountered so much trouble getting into an asshole before. It's the kegels. But once I got in, it was amazing. I appreciate the work you've been putting in. I'm the most valuable butthole. How many people are competing for that title? It's like three people.

Yeah, it's just me. Like those guys who go to the Guinness World Record books and they're like, who could throw the most eggs at a bus that doesn't even know they're part of the contest? 10 seconds. It's like, man, just because nobody else thought of this just doesn't mean that you win the prize.

But then again, we've had that same talk on here before where it's like, we can just make up a world record, right? And then do it. All you need to do is just get one of the officials to come over or you need to document the entire process and then uh i mean if they approve it you'll get a real world record but you can make it up you this could be the the longest

lasting podcast where we consistently talked about prison rape and then then we technically could get, we could hold the world's record for that. We're already 10 minutes into the record. I don't know. We've got a big backlog of episodes. We got rape, we got rape gumbo, we got rape. That's about all the kinds of rape I know.

What are you drinking, Tucker? Apple juice. I really thought it was apple juice i'm being gullible though right then what are you actually drinking what is it in particular uh la fin du monde it's a quebecoise beer which is really good but is that one of those that like comes in a wine bottle looking thing it's got a cork in it yeah yeah pinkies up that's high oh pinkies up you know but no it was i walked past and i was like the end of the world sign me up let's put that in a cup and drink it is it any good no it's really good i i like it uh i've had it a couple times before but nice woody what are you drinking i have coffee and i was just thinking this in my head right i consider coffee a performance enhancing drug at the start of a podcast right a little more high energy low

because sure yeah yeah i see alcohol i was about to go there but what is a better performance enhancing drug like which one is testosterone which one's epo which one is some like sarms that are only half a steroid well you're you're thinking, right, like, okay, if you drink coffee, you're going to be more energetic. You're going to be on the jokes and whatnot, which will initially improve the quality of the podcast. However, if you drink alcohol, you might slip up a bit more, get a few more laughs in there, but you are a little bit more sloppy. Now, let's take an alternative alternative which in some states is legal

let's say or logo we get some weed involved okay you know now it's like okay the pace of the podcast will go down but the quality might get really high i'm just saying really performance enhancing drugs for podcasts i'm not when it's legalized around the the country we'll do a smoking episode it is yeah i mean i think it it depends on the person right so like it's legalized around the the country we'll do a smoking episode it is yeah i mean i think it it depends on the person right so like it's legal here i could go smoke and then come back but i'd probably get tired halfway through if i drink coffee like that's that's fine too but like drinking alcohol you're a little looser a little more social um someone isn't there like the sativa and invicta or whatever the fuck the other one

yes yes it's the it's sativa and the female ufc uh that's what invicta is yeah but i mean it's kind of it's kind of like wine almost i'd say like white and red wine yeah they're different yeah they can like you're gonna notice the difference but it's not like it's not like one is like the limitless pill and the other one you're sleeping in 10 minutes kind of thing. I've always suspected that that was the truth. The people who say they take, which one's the upper one? Sativa.

No, definitely. There's a noticeable difference between the two, but it is not like so crazy that if you have one or the other, you're like, I can never smoke this again. Like, I can only smoke sativa. It's just, it is a different feeling.

When I was in Colorado, like five months ago or whatever, I got like a gummy or a chocolate or something that was sativa and another one that was indica. And I remember like sitting at the condo or whatever cabin like that night before we were going to go skiing the next day like oh tonight i'm gonna i'm gonna try you know sativa because that's gonna make me feel you know whatever it's supposed to feel like weird a little little amped up and i ate it and i was just like 20 minutes 30 minutes later i was just like huh i just feel tired and and high and then the next day i tried the indica and I felt exactly the same. Edibles are different too. You also have the THC and the CBD oil.

If you just take the THC oil you're going to be high. If you take the CBD oil, which I have by the way, be happy to take some. It does absolutely nothing. Fuck all. I don't know why I have it. I have someone give me CBD oil. You won't notice at all that I took it or if I didn't take it.

It's just like they say, if you take it in high amounts, it can help with pain and recovery. I was going to say, what about muscle soreness and such? Yes. So if you take high amounts of it now you know don't don't quote me on the numbers but just a good amount it can help with recovery or epilepsy i believe or some other some other stuff yeah i have a friend who gives cbd oil to his very old dog and they said that it oh this is widely known it was new to me like they said it was like the the magic pill that's exactly what the dog needed yeah you know who um uh did a video on this was a drifter he gives his

dog cbd treats um obviously since i live in la like the joke here is everything is cbd infused like we have cbd water we like there's cbd does it taste bad no it tastes like water like you like it literally it doesn't have any taste. Is there CBD in it? It doesn't do shit for me, but a lot of people are like, it's relaxing. It helps them relax. It helps them. It's not like a noticeable thing, but you just become

You can also get coffee and then with a few drips of CBD in it. I was at a coffee shop where you get coffee, not the Dutch coffee shop, in LA, and you just get a coffee and then it's like, plus CBD. And I'm like, what?

My understanding is you have to be taking CBD for two or three weeks every day until it builds up in your system enough and then you start getting anti-inflammatories. I just know that you need to take high amounts for it to really have an impact on you but some people they'll take like three four drops or like a little bit of oil

like it relaxes you a little bit maybe if you feel stressed it's an alternative the dog only got one or two drops exercise but it was little it's like a also the size you know like one or two drops and but like you can't there's like there's nothing you can there's nothing bad that can happen from it right like i could go drink all the cbd oil i have i i assume there's nothing bad that could it would just i have to believe that enough oil is a laxative you'll just you'll just fall asleep right i assume you can take it too much you're just you just not right do people still drug tests for jobs like is that a thing you you're so uh at least here in uh it is still you still get drug

tested for um for marijuana which is weird that i'm saying is because i as if i've applied to a job anytime soon but a friend of mine got drug tested however um for the state law i believe is that you can't use that as a disqual the only disqualifying factor for denying somebody employment however like that but like they could just be like yeah your resume wasn't up to date but you're not gonna have people be like you failed the drug test you're fired because of this right it's not like a line in the sand that nobody can cross but you don't hear about it as much that's it yeah i've only taken a drug test once and it was like decades ago but it was the last step in the whole thing like i was hired and it was just the final hurdle to not be i was nervous to see uh

did you did you see the netflix documentary on um testing like athletes oh the Russian one the bird that flew too close the guy that flew too close the Russian documentary really really really good that's like intense and pretty much summed up Russia

no joke Russia was caught just falsifying all these guys like their their drug test for the olympics everybody was on stuff right everybody was on drugs and then this guy during the documentary he comes out and he goes into hiding and he works together with the fbi really really good documentary i wonder is everyone so in swimming right now uh there's this chinese dude he got busted for like massive amounts of steroids and he just won his event and he won and he was rude to the second place guy i think he was british and all the other swimmers were like giving him the cold shoulder you know

like he's currently being like he's what do they call it contesting you know his drug results so he's just like in this leeway period where he's not banned yet and he won his event but i'm looking at these swimmers and i'm like aren't they all on steroids or that's that's what they say this was the world championships you know yeah it's i think it's like the the whole idea of everybody's juicing, but it's just who's juicing. Like who's the cutting edge guy that's always doing the next best thing? Like there's only so much you can go and check for, right? The rest of us are all limited by micro dosing, so we pass these tests. That guy was jacked.

So he's the cheater. We're just all following the same rules. Yeah. I mean, but is that is it I'm trying to think of like a way that it's it kind of reminds me like Adderall in schools. Right. Like, is it really is it a performance enhancer? Even if you let's be real, everybody gets prescribed Adderall, even if you don't really need it. Like, I never I never took it during school. But Lord knows, like the first time that I took it, I was like, holy shit!

You mean to tell me people were doing this every day and you get everything done? It's not bad. My iTunes playlist is reorganized. It's like a limitless pill, but it stunts your growth. And then people become addicted

to it. In small doses, I guess it's it's it's kind of like in small doses. It's it's I guess it's accepted by the community. I'm just going on my like I don't know if anybody's juicing or whatever. I'm just guessing that they are. Yeah, I wouldn't even know swimmers did that. I mean, I think it's like every any athlete like I'm not saying like everybody is doing it. It's just like a yoke jockey out there.

Yeah, there are a lot of people who do it. He started taking Adderall at seven so he wouldn't grow. Oh my God, right. He's like four foot nothing. Fucking yoked. Like Lance Armstrong, right? Yeah. He won the Tour de France, I don't know how many times.

Five maybe? And then, yeah. Seven, and then yeah i think it was seven two and then he got caught but he like he's been tested many many many many many times and apparently he did it for like the majority of any and didn't he say that everyone's juice like i'm pretty sure it was him that was like well everybody's doing the drugs so like i just got caught that sucks But like here we are. Same with like the Barry Bonds stuff. Jones had a teammate who didn't juice as much as him. And he looked – I said Jones. I meant Armstrong.

And he was telling – he talked to the guy's wife. He's like, your husband doesn't take enough steroids. He's not showing the kind of commitment that I am. And I was like was like huh all right that's that's one like the only time i look at it i don't know how to view this steroids like in swimming you could be like well you know if you just let the athletes athletes juice then is there any harm done or maybe if you want to be a world-class swimmer you just have to agree to like be a sexy 20 year old-old and dead at 50.

Isn't it like access to the drugs? I mean, how is somebody who's lower income or somebody who's maybe not in a cutting-edge country, how are they supposed to compete with Russia or the US? Well, that's in a – That's their fucking problem. That's in a steroids or illegal world, right? If steroids get legal, are they that expensive? Can't you buy them like on mexico pharmacies and stuff i mean hgh sure like i'm sure you can get stuff but not like the good shit i think we legalize steroids but we split it up we have the roided competition and the natties right and we just have these freaks and just people who are

getting tested every day of their life. If that's your argument, then you should also take into account, what about shoes? The bikes? The outfits? The diet? Bikes is a thing. Swimsuits is a thing.

I don't know when it was, 8 or 12 years ago. The Americans had secret swimsuits that they didn't let the rest of the world have. Speedo developed them just for the Americans. The shark skin one. Yeah. That's so gay. Dude, the swimsuits are so long.

They're like tank tops and long pants, and they're smoother than human skin, and they're just breaking records everywhere. Meanwhile, South Africa's in regular banana holsters. And it's like, shake your chest hair. Why do the Americans get to have their special suits?

Mine is made of a repurposed Goodyear tie. And they can see I'm circumcised. Save half a second if you're circumcised. Save half a second if you're uncircumcised. Hey, wait, you know what I'm saying?

That's a really funny bit idea. Swimmers from other countries going to get circumcised. If you drop 0.2 seconds, if you cut your dick off, we can even give you a full second off. I don't know, man. Well, I really do want to be good at swimming.

Actually, no, it'd be reverse, wouldn't it? Because if you're uncircumcised, the head of your dick is out, and it's causing drag on your dick ridge. If you're circumcised, it's streamlined down into the anteater. Your dick is not freeform. You're swimming with stuff. Guys, what if Taylor's competing in the Noodle Olympics. I have a solution here, guys.

What if you jump into a really cold bath beforehand? It shrinks. So instead of it being this, you know, for me at least, it goes all the way down to here, and then you go. You know what I mean? I can't believe I never thought of that.

That sounds like a brilliant idea. You don't really look good on the starting block, but just ice that puppy down a little bit. Yeah, but then by the time you're on the middle pedestal, you can let that thing warm up. Dude, Conor McGregor is my favorite. We talked about this show a couple of times. Conor McGregor legit works up a little stiffy before the weigh-in.

Like when he – they weigh in. It's like a ceremonial weigh-in, and then they go eye to eye and then look at each other real mean. Conor always comes out with a hard-on. That's an alpha move. He's just like, if my dick's hard, maybe he's off the game. He just really likes fighting. In high school, if I had a hard-on, I'd do everything I could to hide that.

You know, untucked shirt, under the belt. No, no. You know the trick? Flex your calves and your quad. So just sit there. Drain blood from your dick. Yeah, and then it'll go away. Yes.

Walk on your heels. Walk on your heels for like 30 seconds. Oh, that works. They're like, that Taylor never has a hard-on, but he's autistic. What you want to do is walk around like an autistic person

and walk your feet in public. But at least your dick won't be hard. This sounds more like a gullibility test than a hard-on fix. If you don't have your jeans on, maybe you got shorts on or whatever, and you're like, oh no. You think of that

high school teacher or whatever, pops on, just start flexing your leg, and then just hold it for a few seconds, it'll go away. Yeah, but that's true, because then you're engaging your big-ass muscles, and it drains the blood. I'm going to Google this.

Or you start... Why don't you just try it out, Woody? Look at me get it hard, and then... Let's all take erections. Just start sprinting. I'm way ahead of you, Tucker. I've been hard this whole time. Let me test this out. I wonder if there's a sport out there,

a position in a sport, that could be helped by playing erect. I don't know. Baseball? Well, that would be distracting. You don't know baseball base well that would be distracting the thing the bat you the bat that's it uh I don't I can't think off the top my head of anything that I would want to be erect for in a sporting event because I'd lie and you're just people away like it in a full sprint. What if I'm playing billiards and I forgot my stick? I'm ready.

What if I'm playing ping pong and I have no paddle? What if I'm playing around? Think of wrestling, but now your enemy has a massive boner. You're going to be off guard. And then he checks your oil. Oh, shit. That's probably the best answer. Now we both have boners.

Well done. Oh, God, dude. That's a funny wrestling thing. It's like, Tony, be careful about this guy. Call him Stevie the Erection Johnson for a reason. That's a terrible nickname it's not a good nickname he came up with it not the brightest guy all the blood somewhere else when he gets in there with you he's gonna get hot and don't you let that intimidate you you

get just as hot even hotter than he is you show him that you you're the only artist out here. Philly Adichie isn't afraid of a hard dick in the ring. Do you ever think that when The Rock was a wrestler, they called him Dwayne The Rock Hard Johnson? Oh, I would have. That's what I'm saying. I'm thinking about it now. I can't believe I've never heard that before. That's good.

The Rock Hard Johnson. That's a risky move. I can't believe I've never heard that before. That's good. The rock-hard shots. You know, it's against the rules now, but people used to shit themselves in the UFC. That seems like a good move. I don't want to win anything bad enough to shit myself.

I can explain. So what happens is the fights on Saturday night, the weigh-ins used to be Friday night. So they would take these laxatives to get all the fluids out of their body to make weight. And then one day later, they had a little leftover, and sometimes they'd shit themselves. Well, yeah, you're grappling a man, and you just squeeze too hard. Or if you get knocked out, you let everything go. Got his little neon belly, which is it.

I'm surprised that doesn't happen in sports more often, where someone just has to peace out because they have to shit. Sometimes you see an NFL player do this. A basketball player in 2010 got carried off like he was injured or something, and just like this year

he came out and was like, yeah, that's because I was about to shit my pants, and I faked an injury because I didn't want to say I had to shit and because it was enough time has passed people were like that's pretty cool i like that that happened like for the florida panthers the nhl team where their goalie roberto luongo like in 2008 they're like you know and smith passes it up to pelly over to this fight luongo leaving the net skating to the bench in the middle of the play thank god it's an icing what is he doing? He's running down the hall now and then he came out after him

and was like I almost pooped my pants in the crease and so I had to leave I just there's a top 15 pro athletes that have shit themselves during competition this is the top 15 is Yolo Romero in there? he's my favorite

Tony Stewart is number 15 yeah yeah yeah oh i remember the runner who shit herself and then continued to run the marathon gross i remember that picture yeah the video i think just run a little less oh wow john cena shit himself apparently top 15 athletes who poop their pants during competition. Well, our first competitors for PKA Cool Guy of the Week have entered the ring. It all depends the situation. See, Tony Stewart, I didn't know who that was until I opened it. He's a driver for NASCAR.

Yeah. Yeah, NASCAR. I empathize heavily with that. We've all been in the car and feel like, I'm not going to make it. I'm just like, ah, fuck it. Looking at Tony Stewart's picture, he looks like a man who could pollute a bathroom,

who you wouldn't want to follow. Am I alone in this? Am I the only one who sees that? No, yeah. He looks like he's got some growlers in him. See Kelly Slater. This guy, he's got good bowels, I bet. No big deal. Garyary linica a soccer player

oh it'd be funny if like you know how soccer players will flop if like and when he shit himself he just is like openly weeping he's like sobbing as he runs off the field pants very embarrassed here throwing a tantrum crying asking for his mother ke Kelly Slater says that because they go out in big waves, they poop in the water all the time. There's even a name for it, fish food. The key is to go down current. You don't want to be up current. That's rude. All right, Kelly.

There's a number 11. It's just a marathon runner. I know. That's what we were talking about there's like a video or a photo somebody like chugging around like mile 19 like still six miles ago and just covered in shit get into model trains or something yeah and the worst part is like when you get there like most of them that you collapse right like you're just exhausted so now you're laying in your shit you can't even get to the toilet your bowels are emptying themselves that's a sign we

shouldn't be running that far like or at least put porta potties close by but i bet she's like oh i don't want to ruin my time i did i'll just shit myself i ran half a marathon once and it was just grueling yeah i've only done a 5k and even that, like I'm like 30 minutes of running is enough. That's Tucker. You're a runner, right? Yeah, but I'm not a long distance runner.

I'm a sprinter. Okay. Like I like 5k is like two miles. Well, I'm a, I'm a long distance runner here. You know, two and a half miles is 30 minutes.

That's like a Woody time. No, no, no, no, no. This is the fastest. My 5k was, was, was like 20 minutes 21 minutes which is like

seven minutes a mile almost it's like how long is it 5k i guess i'm doing 215 minute miles 3.2 did i say 2.5 it's yes oh well that changes things no i it's okay when i when i thought i 5k was two miles three it's 30 minutes was not a very impressive two-mile time. Fucking retard Google algorithm. I put 5K in miles. I did too. And it said it gave me 5,000 inches equals.0789. 3.1 miles.

Yeah, so it was like a sub-seven-minute mile. That was when I was in high school, so I could not do that at all. You know what I was thinking of doing? I think it's the marine fitness test it might be the army one of them takes a lot less equipment like you just need to do pull-ups push-ups and army yeah marines much harder that's cool what is the marine one i just know the marine fitness test is more grueling just because i have a couple friends who are marines and they made sure to outline that for me for me it's not about how grueling

it is it's how much much special equipment you need. And one just requires push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups, and running. So you want to do it at home? Yeah. Well, it's not... I've seen... There's a couple of YouTubers that have done it. And they did it to sort of prove how fit they were. I would have a different motivation.

I would want to show my progress, right? I'm trying to get a before picture. That before picture before that before picture gets hard to improve on i would only want to do that if i could if it if completing it allowed me to steal valor in public places i think it does yeah yeah absolutely i wouldn't wear my fatigues you know that for the test i don't even have to steal valor as a marine i'll wear like like a seaman's cap like i. I'll be a reasonable one. I won't be.

Perfect. I love watching every once in a while when I'm not watching animals fighting or something else or how it's made videos on YouTube. I'll go down that rabbit hole of stolen valor. There's some guy with a big channel and all he does is like like it's his life it seems that he's like a navy seal and he'll just be like this guy you know alan stevens is at starbucks trying to get his venti latte for a dollar off again and i'm gonna confront him and then he just goes and confronts stolen valor people yeah it's very funny dude so it's funny that's a crime there's a army person who just entered our universe, and I have more, I have, like, a lot of army friends.

So, like, I'm like, hey, you know, can I find out about this guy? And, oh, my God, they break it down and stereotype by, like, what your brigade and division and whatnot is. It's pretty funny, and it was pretty accurate. Yeah. Yeah, I know all the stereotypes where it's, like, the Air Force apparently gets all the coolest stuff and like they get roasted a little bit for having the least physical

training the marines dislike the army because apparently all the new shit goes to the army and the marines even though they're trained like at a higher level i suppose are getting like hand me down army shit or like hand me down navy, I guess, because they're in the Navy. Or maybe they give it to – I don't really care. I don't care. You ever get like halfway through a thought and you're like, I don't care. Something I do care about. Oh, go ahead.

I was just going to say, you should look into – I know they're going to have one or they have one near you, Tough Mudder. It's kind of like one of those like all- in one like all terrain type thing that sounds even harder than running right i mean it's probably it's running through it's not like but you just said you were gonna take the fitness test for like the army but that only has a little bit of running it's push-ups pull-ups sit-ups and like some running which will be my weakest point mutters like like climb up this like a frame and like run two miles and then like like crawl underneath you know i haven't done one i need some different variety of tough mutter where you've like race golf carts through the mud that sounds like my time yeah that would be much more fun the only

thing i wouldn't like about tough mutter is like you know how you see those clips of stuff like that and it's like one guy with like blade legs just dominating people like because he lost his feet in iraq or something i don't want to get beaten by one of those guys that would be me like i have ptsd that requires me to drive this fucking golf cart instead of run you got a problem with that? Service dog in the back. Off we go. If I'm going to lose two appendages

between hands and feet, I wouldn't split the difference. I'd go both feet and I would get those cool ass blades. That Oscar Pistorius, another cool guy. I'm just going to say another way to save time while swimming. Get your appendix removed.

Get your tonsils removed. Now you're lighter. You only need one kidney. How does that even help you? You only need one kidney. You're buoyant. I don't know why lighter really makes it easier to swim. What do you mean?

Bad people do well in swimming. Not at the elite levels. No, but the lighter you are, the stronger, the better, the faster you can pull. How much do tonsils weigh? 30, 40 pounds? Women, just remove your teeth too. Do you need all your teeth? There's just some like skin and bones

guy out there just like i'm ready to compete just terrifying looking ghoul amazing yeah swimming is something i never got into i mean i got into it insofar as like i know how to swim to get back to the wall i swam competitively did you you did when did? When did you stop that? Like what age? Uh, 18. I just, I just stopped when I went to college. It was, it was, it was fun. I was always in better shape swimming than I was in anything else. Cause it's like a full body activity, but I always, I hated it. Cause you know, you'd, you'd have practice at like a, a pool. The pool was not just for swim team. It was for, you know, the people that wanted to use it, whatever. So you'd have to go in at like six 45 in the morning and swim. And then it just like i'm tired i don't want to swim a thousand

meters and then start swimming again another thousand meters oh fuck that did you guys just swim once a day uh yeah we didn't i was i had some friends that uh one of my friends was in the uh i know it's gonna be special olympics she's deaf but um get! No, but they put them in the... There's tears. I learned about this. He's swimming against people with no legs and she's just out there swimming. I'm in the Special Olympics. I'm bald. Let's go, bitches!

Guys, I'm in the Special Olympics. I have dyslexia. Sorry, you can't enter. It just says you're Jewish. It's not a disability. But I want to win. I was cursed with sideshow bob hair. It's like, oh, sir, get right in here.

You're next to Timmy No Arms. I swam against someone in college with one leg. Yeah, I swam against somebody who college with one leg Yeah I did I swam against somebody who had a leg And they beat me They were good Yeah this guy wasn't half bad I thought about it

I was like you know I guess he could be more competitive Than I thought This hit kid Josh That was on my wrestling team when I was like In middle school at some point You know how girls will join boys wrestling because like there aren't girls wrestling leagues or at least there weren't enough to like form the league and like he got matched up he was like a like a little lighter than me I think I weighed like 137 in eighth grade like seventh grade and he was like

I was talking to I hit triple digits in 10th grade carry on you could like you know how they would have like on the little judge guy and then they'd have like all the on bench people like on the sides and then they oh this one's clear those two go up this one just opened up these two go and he was like getting closer and closer and he realized he was gonna have to wrestle the girl and he had like this kid was a savage like it's incredibly strong for his size like you know how people will say like oh don't get him angry or something usually it's a fucking meme this kid would lose it in practice sometimes and sometimes i had to wrestle against him and i hated it he almost broke my arm one side because he

pulled it behind my arm and like wrenched it up way too far i'm like fuck like almost crying it was terrible and he lines up with the girl and like i saw for the first time like his eyes of like but do i i really have to do this like you're gonna make me do this and he's like look into the coach and the coach is like just do it just like any other match josh like any other man she could die yeah she i don't know why i thought he would give her a little benefit of the doubt in the beginning he brutalized this poor girl throwing her around the ring just picking her up with ease smashing her around thankfully it ended and i think like seven, like just straight to the ground pinned. And it was like, fuck.

Now Josh probably feels bad because he just beat the shit out of this girl. But what are you going to do? Like not get the points, hurt your team like they're making you do this. I never saw her at another match, but I don't remember what school she wrestled for. So yeah, when I was a freshman in high school, it shouldn't be a lot. a lot the wrestling coaches were after me they were like what do you should come out and wrestle you should come out and wrestle you should be on our wrestling team and for like a week i thought it was because they saw like the potential the fire that was in me and then i realized well fuck no one else is in the like what i don't, I'm exaggerating, 65-pound weight class, and they're just taking L's.

They want me because I'm a prepubescent jackass who will be better than nothing. All right, we've got the featherweight cover. We've got lightweight covered. But do we have the carbon fiber aerogel? Less weight covered. No. Matt Woodworth, he's the man for you.

All right, this one's going to be easy, Woody. The only other guy in your weight class is there because he has no limbs. All you have to do is just touch him and he's pinned. Keep his mouth closed. He's got a prehensile tongue and he knows how to use it. We didn't catch up with Tucker and Queb.

What's up? We didn't catch up with you at the beginning of the show. We went straight into prison rape preparation. Yeah, it was a good... Well, you know, that's all you have to know about me. Queb, when you were on the show last, I think you might have broken 8 million subs on that show. Oh, did I? Really?

If it wasn't then, it was then. I'm only 11 now. 11 now. Do you have the diamond play button thingy? I do. However, I'm getting it framed to put it on the wall because it doesn't come in as a... Like, it comes in just a plaque. I wanted to see it.

Oh, yeah. Sorry. I mean, maybe next time. Okay. Well, you probably made a video when it came in. Like that's a pretty good one. No, no, no, no, no, no. You did.

Because I was going to make a video on it coming in, me pimping it and getting it in the custom frame and putting it on the wall. But I'm not even sure if I'm going to upload it. Maybe I'll put it on like Instagram or Twitter or something. Okay. All right, another thing. Maybe it was last time you were on here. Your video game was about to drop.

How'd it go? Good. Really good. Way better than expected. We're rated 9 out of 10 on Steam, which is really nice. We've got 100 reviews in right now which is also really nice um and we're only in early access right so so we have a bunch of new cool stuff planned uh but it's good it's fun it's a lot of fun making your own games um yeah i'm glad it's going so well for you

man thank you always you're always grinding on something do you do you and tucker know each other do you guys know each other yeah never yes okay i figured so but i was in the middle of talking i was like for a while now but i don't think five years yeah i don't think i uh it's been a minute though since we've like sat down and talked or i've seen you though yeah like e3 maybe a couple years ago so gamescom e3 those are the usual ones me and tucker ran into each other packs too i remember we did do like yeah western east yeah yeah yeah so so no no we've we've known each other for a while we usually we just chat for a little bit and then it's like off we go because that's how every event is right uh it's just like hey nice to see you again i haven't

seen you in a year oh hey next person nice to see you how are you doing oh good okay bye yeah exactly this is in the vip area that all this is oh i totally i don't we don't touch the poor people that's correct they used to have vip areas which was kind of cool. They still do. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have the lounges, right? So you have the, let's say you're a Twitch streamer, you have a Twitch partner lounge usually. Or you just have at a VidCon, you have a backstage. And then there are different ranks you have,

and certain ranks can go into certain places. Wow. This is like the cast system in india right like it's a good system or or it's like every other event that has ever been thrown ever you know you have you have um people that are invited to the event so let's take a music fest for example you have artist pass then you have crew artist pass which is you know somebody who's working for the artist but they don't necessarily get stage access then you have guest passes you have people who work the event you have vip yeah so it just it's just making you know making it easy to know where you should be able to go and then and then their checkpoints

and they'll check your wristbands and whatnot. The behind the scenes. Also, just keep the poor away from me at all costs. Actually, no, I would be the poor. Yeah. I made that joke. So I go to a lot of music festivals because I have a lot of friends that work in the music industry. And almost all the time, I'm either with a guest pass or an artist pass and almost you know

and like i had somebody say you know tucker like why are you always back there and you know i made the joke like i don't like touching the poor and people were getting really mad at me being like yeah we get it like you make money and stuff i was like no you don't understand you can't buy these passes it was a joke like it's not uh uh like if you have enough money you can get this it's just simply uh you need to to be a DJ or you need to be a friend of a DJ. What kind of tone-deaf retard doesn't pick that up as a joke immediately?

The internet. I was not surprised at all. I was just like... We've got a little Kyle update, if anyone would like that. Can you read it i'll read this out yeah this is go let's go wait one second let me get my bible let me get my bible real quick why so you can pray for him yeah so kyle's life is real comfortable over there got

off the phone again with him today this is from kitty given to me through chiz there's four different televisions a white tv a, a black TV, a Mexican TV, and the news. White TV is like AMC slash A&E. Black TV is VH1 and BET, and Mexican TV is primarily Telemundo. He's spent most of his money so far on comfortable

clothes. They can wear whatever they want on weekends. Basketball shorts and shit. Unable to tell who is the inmate versus visitors. It's so casual on weekends. Because the clothes they give you are trash he had to basically buy he had basically burlap underwear and it was terrible you buy a radio and changed your state so many typos in this and change your station to the various tvs they have that's how you listen and watch he's not eating much like 400 calories a day the food they give you non-commissary is fine like high school cafeteria food not terrible but not great he primarily watches tv for eight hours a day no

change in schedule and also reading lord of the rings and will soon move on to the books kitty and i sent him kitty sent harry potter the first two books he's not moving around much it's really easy comfortable just boring and finding ways to pass the time. Huge rec room, obviously the outdoor shit. There's even a flag football team. Heard some interesting stories about fellow inmates. There's no one really scary there, but plenty of people with huge sentences and interesting stories nonetheless. Food stamp scams and lots of other stuff. He seems to be doing really well.

He primarily just sleep for the first three days slash weekend because he couldn't get funds into the commissary right away. And they don't do that on weekends that is pretty funny this is like very i mean i'm not surprised because he's not in like a like a you know a max you know prison but i mean it seems it's just boring it's like shit all right well i'm here for a while that's what i'd imagine to be yeah i just oh my god i let me me really quickly. So I found out that there's this website called Penicon. And Kyle needs to sign up for this. Listen. So I'll send it to you.

It is literally prison Tinder. What? And what I have found is that this is one of the most enjoyable things that I can do on stream. I like streaming and non-consensual sex go in and you read their bio here's like here's here's the random you read their bio and then you

you see their sentence date and then you guess what they're in for and almost every time it's so you're so wrong but like this is we found some gems i i need to be able to find one i can't but yeah this is this is i was like, Kyle needs to sign up for this. Check out this featured dude with the tattoos all over his neck and head. I'm worried that if I show these people. I've already shown them. I promise. They're going to kill me first.

I've made fun of them all. That's not where I'm headed. Is YouTube going to get mad or something? Do they have some right to privacy when they're on so so so here's how it works um you're allowed to uh i mean it's it shows the full name which is a little bit bad but okay well how about we just read off how about i just read my favorite profile but i'm gonna link it to you and that way so so also really quickly if you do if they do not like you having it there they can report it and then you get a notification that you need to blur it and that's all

yeah but you just have to blur it blurring in post is a freaking nightmare on a four-hour video only only if it gets reported look don't don't all you need to share is the bio and I can tell you what he's in for and his release date and then I can also give you the background story of this dude because this is nuts. Okay. Yeah. Oh, okay. He found his first one already. This is my favorite one on the website

after six hours of going through this. This is six hours. Yes. I can't even judge. This is totally if i did twitch this is something hours every day so somebody i'll take it on are you guys ready go for it my cousin she is almost like a sister and we grew up together and she babysat me posted my profile for me so these are her words in the third person to describe me eric is a very kind soul who is serving a life sentence for murder. Well, okay. He is the least likely person that I would ever believe would kill everyone,

not even an animal or a spider. Coincidentally, his nickname is Spider. He's 43 years old, but genuinely much younger in spirit than that. I used to believe that Eric, with his long hair, resembled Jesus Christ and his gentle personality actually made me feel as if he were a real-life, current-day Jesus Christ walking this earth. Ironically, I don't think for a minute that he is religious. He is very skeptical about life and God or gods right now and views the world more simply. He doesn't want anyone to preach

to him or try to tell him about how they are witnesses to the Holy Spirit. Please be real to Eric and he will be as real as they come. He is serving a life sentence, so already off the cut when i was reading this i was like there's no way this dude didn't write this himself right like he looks pretty sweet in the picture yeah he does so he's serving a life sentence for murder do you want to know so what he what he is in for is he stabbed his girlfriend with a with a three-foot katana and then sliced her up and then ran over her dead body or her body as she tried to run away with her truck and then ran over her friend who was also in the room couldn't hurt a fly modern day jesus christ but in for literally literally just murdered the guy now this guy was like one of the rare like like, life sentences.

But there's people like this all over that are, like, doing weird, like, Tumblr-esque blog, like, growl, lol, haha, I'm a Leo, rawr, kisses your hand. And then they're in there for, like, literally, like, raping a minor. And you're like, what the fuck? They're in there for literally raping a minor. And you're like, what the fuck? Mr. Jensen was caught with seven toddlers in his basement, all chained against like a watch. And he's got like smiley faces on.

It's so weird. So yeah, Kyle should sign up for this. You have to give your sentencing info. And then you can get like sugar daddies through there. He's got to act fast because this is not a long sentence. I sentence i know hey there's people in there that get out in like two three weeks that i've seen from the date that i've been reading it so it's really funny i'm a great website i'm gonna find more of these oh yeah there's another one on that page i i've just started looking at it he looks like that picture they circulated of Trayvon Martin, like the angelic young.

Because he's black? Are you kidding me? Because he's like 12 in this picture. He does look, so he's born in, wait, he's two days younger than me. March 18th, 1993. Not in that picture. No, not in that picture. That picture is his seventh grade graduation picture right there. Yeah, so why'd he use it?

But this guy, he's, all right, so he gets out in 2021, which is in two years. If you want to play the game, my guess here is that, oh, he said, man, his bio is sad. My guess is he was either in for like theft or I guess possession with intent to sell. You're doing pretty good here. Smart young man converted to Islam to find deeper meaning of my life and choices that got me here rough childhood including physical and sexual abuse been in prison since i was 18 looking to talk about a plan for when i get out how to be a man how to adjust to my depression and the world and how to be an adult wow so. So coming from a Dutch person here,

I look at this guy and I go, you know, he had a rough childhood. He's been in prison for eight years already, right? Since 2011. Family doesn't make the time to talk to him. A total of 10 years. Like, if something, like, I don't know what he did i mean can we find out and so he went he went in for robbery now what i wish i had yeah now i wish i had um

i wish i had my my chat here because usually they're really good at looking through all the police documents and finding his court case and seeing what he's in for but i swear to god i've had like we've had people like this and you look through and it's like they brutally like this one's just robbery um but like like he they robbed like four four if he's in for eight years nine years now afterwards like it's probably not a basic robbery it's probably like he didn't just grab the pearls off some lady's neck and make a run for it. No, no. And it's hard to get it. Like his name is pretty normal and big stone.

You know. Oh, he doesn't have it. And Darren is a first name. I think I have it. I have it. I think Commonwealth. No, this is in 2013. But yeah, I mean, he has a pretty normal name, so it's tough.

But there you go. Wow, this did go a little sad. I don't know. Can anyone explain this to me? Maybe someone understands it. A popular issue on the Democratic side of the presidential debates is getting rid of cash for bail. Am I on target with that? Yeah.

Are you cash for bail? I have no with that yeah uh so are you i have no idea i'm probably pronounced like getting talking about like bail bonds i think so but they have a term for it i know i'm not even american i know i know yeah i think cash for bill is i'm pretty sure uh one of the services like one of the the websites or one of the stores or whatever you could probably google it and find out but uh pretty much how it works is um you know in america often when you commit a crime it could be a minor crime like a small one or whatever uh um you yeah so you get you get you need to pay bail to you know go out and else you're going to stick in jail, right? Right.

Now, what sucks here is if you commit a really minor thing, you might still be in jail for a very long time. Then you lose your job. You lose this. You lose that. So even if you don't get convicted, your life is ruined anyways, right? right so what these people do they uh they go to these these lenders and they say hey uh you know you can you can borrow the money for bail uh however they do it at an insanely high interest rate which pretty much always screws these people over so no matter what like you you know yeah sure you might uh you might be able to loan sharks i don't think it's interesting it's just 10 i think right so so if you ever that's predatory okay okay i think

they're trying to make it go i think they're either it's trying to be like five percent or some shit like that because when it's misproportionately uh the service misproportionately i don't want to say target but it's like used by people who are going to maybe they're not as well educated and everything or they're not affluent because you're literally going to the service for like 10 grand so let me take a step back and explain to the audience what i do know uh you go to you get caught for something you want to get out on bail you pay 10 so when you hear about these like 10 000 bails they actually give one grand to the bail bondsman. The bail bondsman gives all 10 grand to the court. Yeah.

And if you show up for your court date, the bail bondsman gets all 10 grand back. That's how that typically works. And then you lose 10%. If you're Queb over there, then maybe you just come up with your own 10 grand, show up and get your own 10 grand back. That would be a better financial decision

than to give away a grand. Now, what I don't understand is the solution right like what do they want to replace that with yeah like i get how for for some guys coming up with that grant is like incredible like a huge hardship that they'll never like get out of that hole it's this big problem and you know they might spend time in jail like tucker mentioned that ruins the rest of their life but what is their system for ensuring that people show up for their court date um i yeah i think it's a flight risk stuff i look i haven't gone through and watched the debates yet because there's 400 people like you know it's like

sitting in a cafeteria trying to hear people talk so i'll wait a little longer most of it's boring just watch the funny shit on twitter yeah so. So I'm not sure what their, their, their general plan is, but like, I'm assuming when you look at white collar crime, a lot of the time you're like, are you a flight risk?

Are you a risk at leaving the country? Like, you know, if you, if you're trying, if you're struggling to come up with like 10 grand, chances are, you're probably not going to be able to,

you know, flee the country. So, and, and that's also a risk they're taking right so you know that's i why i assume why it's also 10 because they know you know on average oh yeah this yeah many people go run away they just put it in put in the numbers and then they figure that out yeah well i don't know what their solution is i just know they don't

like the problem oh yes you know you know yeah i know i know sorry i was i was typing real quick are just so fucking funny like i love it but do you remember woody we we lost a sponsor because we'd played chis made us a game because uh the listeners are always like play a game do a trivia play something and chiz was like i know i'll get pictures of sexual predators and you guys can read summaries of them and you have to bet on what they actually did and so we went through like and i think we put an ad right in the middle of it and so like some fucking whatever company were like oh i bet this guy raped a seven-year-old and then chis would send the answer and be like oh actually but it was funny sometimes we get it right we'd be like i think that's what's exciting we there's one i think we called him a kitty

diddler and then like that's our in the description it was like, diddle the child. We're like, yes! Who would have guessed that? Dude, the diddler is the way to go. Diddle it in the first degree. My other favorite profile, if you want to read through this one, is this one is great. And do not look at his service, or don't look at what he's in for until you're done. Should we guess?

Can I read it? All right, I'm going to read it out loud, and then we're all going to guess. Wrongfully convicted man! This is a 46-year-old male in Washington. I can't tell what race he is. Have you ever shared your soul with a stranger only to realize he was a long-lost friend? Have you ever tried to...

Have you ever talked to a man like you would talk to a woman and share what you can't with other men? Can you picture your heart being talked to a man like you would talk to a woman and share what you can't with other men? Can you picture your heart being given to a man stuck in a living hell? Can you promise yourself to hold off judging him until the day you really know him well? Think about that for a minute, in quotes. I'm a man with style, confidence, wisdom, and ambition who doesn't use drugs or smoke, is goal-oriented, and has a huge heart. Of importance to me is my family and has a huge heart of importance to me is my family and friends human experiences or getting to know new people is something that i

enjoy i am a man who values friendship and genuinely cares about those that i call friends for all the right reasons i want to be a true friend as i'd like to receive one i believe friendship has the power to set us free from whatever in life that confines us i write letters you would feel no matter the distance between us. I'm dedicated and loyal. I appreciate most things in life that money can't buy. Anybody can be rich. Not anybody can be happy. I'm looking for new friends across the globe.

We all have a story to tell. If you would like to hear mine, I'd like to know yours. All I ask for is honesty and a chance to know the real you. Can I just say... This guy's giving us a big steal on his profile pic. This just shows like,

yes, these guys are in prison. Yes, most of them have probably committed horrible crimes, but at the end of the day, we're all human. Okay, sorry. So he gets out in 2022,

so he only has three years. We don't know when he was put in. All right, so everybody guess now this could be everything from like manslaughter first second third degree murder some states vary you know uh you could have like armed robbery gta larceny tax evasion it's there's a lot drug abuse intent to sell intent to manufacture he leaned so hard on the don't judge me thing i think he's a i'm gonna say that he uh sexually abused a family member i don't know if that gets that's all right what about you quebel i i would go with like maybe like the way he's talking and stuff you know he wrote like a little

poem like maybe that comes over a little bit creepy i i'm gonna side with woody here yeah um so he did in fact sexually assault a minor so not only did you get it he didled a kid and um wrongfully convicted by the way oh yeah i'm not sure that kid came home to him hey but maybe he is guys we don't judge on that okay we just but yeah don't come here it's just it's innocent until definitely definitely definitely proven guilty innocent until it happens twice and until he's been convicted twice for the same thing guys like thomas we walked in on you doing it no he seems like one of those people and the worst part is if you like if you scroll down the bottom he has two photos like the second photo he just looks you know like looking

at him i'm like you look like somebody who would probably be teaching like history class you know i mean like he looks like a normal dude dude i've looked at both of his pictures for a while now i legit can't tell this is a white guy or a black guy. It says... Under ethnicity, it says other. It does say that. That's a good bit. I'm going to start putting other for everything.

It's not like shit matters. I mean, truly, right? It's just for whatever their... Yeah, their little stats. Mess up their stats, Taylor. I've got my internal sketch. Guys, we need to see his nipples if we want to know is that a nipple is that a thing that's the race weather how does nobody know this uh you know what now that i'm thinking about it in my head i think it's not a hundred percent

accurate but there is a difference in nipple color. Or nipple color analysis. A YouTuber is calling it the new phrenology. Now I'm not saying... Now, there's no way he's a white guy. It's a spectrum, you know. Okay, so some people, they people they say you know if you're black you have purple nipples as a guy and i'm like yeah who says that some people he doesn't

have to tell you smart people hey i ain't snitching on no one purple nipples that's my good friend get a picture just google top well it's probably in your history anyways. Just topless white men, topless black men, and compare the two. Look at the nipples. You'll see there's a difference. I mean, I'll just pop over to malenipples.biz. Sound like Christmas. I've got it saved. Yeah, that's another good idea.

Determining race by nipple analysis I mean it's a spectrum right you know wherever you draw the line yeah nipples have a spectrum that's actually a little known fact that's what happened in Nazi Germany they go door to door

everyone take your shirts off. Let's see those nipples. Those sideburns are looking a little long, Hans. Hans, your nipples are a little bit purple. You have to go with me, Hans.

Let's go for a little walk. I can make World War II jokes, you know. Amsterdam was occupied. My grandparents pushed through World War II. Nazi Germany occupied the Netherlands. And Canada saved us, guys. Thanks, Canada. Thanks, Canada.

Canada saved you. Yeah. Well, it was an effort from the Allies. But Canada came over to the Netherlands. Canada was like, that place looks cold. What's go there fuck italy we're not trained for that yeah we're no way we're going to africa boys are fucking burning up over here you got any darts out here yeah canada needs a little more i like to imagine like the first time can got in conflict with the Italians or the Germans or something. They're like, hey boys, we don't want to do this.

We can lay them down and just play a game. All right, boys, looks like we're fucking fighting. They rushed the front lines with hockey sticks. Gloves off. Their first fight was with the Brits. Guys, sorry. Can I just

jump in here real quick? No. Okay, I got it. We, sorry. Can I just jump in here real quick? No. We're testing. Earlier we were talking about race and whatnot. Here's a little question for you guys. Picture a black person. Could be anybody.

KSI. In your mind's eye. Now look at his hands. The palm of's eye. Yeah, sure, sure, sure. Now, look at his hands. The palm of his hands. What color are the palm of his hands? They're kind of whitish gray going on there. Yeah. Lighter.

Lighter. Lighter than the rest of them. Yeah. Where are you headed with this? What color are they? I went with gray. But just a lighter shade of... How can you say gray?

That's not a human color? Because they're not brown. I don't know. In my mind's eye, anyway. They're white, guys. Come on. What the heck? Yeah. Oh, I see what you mean.

It's just the same color, just a lighter shade. Yeah, it's just lighter. Yeah, they're not gray. That's not gray. Come on, guys. Boy, we got to get your eyes checked. You genuinely do. I can't read shit anymore.

It's like a deep cyan. Why is this like the image that comes up when you're... I'm just scrolling down and I see this thing in the image. What's going on here? Ha ha! Okay. You found my Photoshop of Bill Cosby. So now that everybody's aware of that,

whenever you see a black man in a cartoon or whatever, take a look at the hands and see if the person who drew them actually knew what the anatomy was. Now, what you want to do out there, guys, go up to a black person today and ask to see their palms. Hey, show me your palms.

Hey, let me see your hands. Are you high? Jesus Christ get away from me I need to see what shade what's your hex decimal code for your hands go up to a black person in public

and scream let me see those hands this explains American police officers it's a social experiment I just want to see your palms i finally get the cops in america guys there you go man i had a problem funnier than what what passes for social experiments oh it'll just be someone like i decided to sneeze on people's food at moe's southwestern grill watch what happens happens. And it's like, where's the methodology?

Where's the controls? What are you trying to learn? These people enjoyed their food. And then afterwards, the guy comes over and goes, hi, my name is Chris Hemsworth from ABC News. What were you thinking when the guy sneezed on your sandwich? Didn't fucking care for it. I didn't really like that.

Would have preferred him to not do that. Do you think we didn't see the, your whole camera set up filming? It was clearly a fake sneeze. What the, do you think we're dumb? Get, get out of here.

Then the most guys got to be like, we have to ask you to leave. You're sneezing all over our customers over there. Meals ruining the natural. I had a fuck for lunch today, right? Do you guys know what this is okay yes for the audience who doesn't think of it as a giant super big bowl of like ramen noodles

almost mine had rare beef in it but what's key for this story is the noodles are like a foot long also i think you're supposed to eat the noodles with chopsticks, but it's a soup. So they give you a little, if you're going to a traditional or a good pho place, they'll give you one of those little, it's almost like a ladle. And what you're supposed to do is scoop up the broth, use the chopsticks, put the noodles in the broth, and then... Okay, alright, so I'm half retarded, right? I am just trying to eat this soup with the ladle thing, and the noodles are half. Also, they give you the pho,

which is like noodles that aren't, like, you know, you have to put them in the soup. They're still undone. And it has these, like, red hot peppers in it. So I put the peppers and the pho in it, and I start eating it. Well, the noodles slip off this ladle thing splashes back it hits me in the eye so now i've been pepper sprayed by my lunch and like there's crowds of people around one eye is just crying it won't stop i looked at it in my like camera phone it's all red

like i've been pepper sprayed. And now I'm all messed up. I'm having my bubble tea, which is a little fatty. So good. So good. And I spill bubble tea on my shirt because I can't see. It's a tough day. And I'm all messed up.

Everybody in the restaurant is like, the whites are at it again. Yes. Yeah. Oh, the next table over is like a party of 12 or something. They're all Vietnamese. They're having no trouble gobbling up this soup. And I don't even want to go to the cashier. I am so tired of the mayo assholes coming in here and getting fucked all over the place.

I used so many napkins during the like... There were like 26 napkins all piled up in this mound on my table. As I'm wiping away my tears and the bubble tea i spilled on my shirt i want to make fun of you but i went to when i was in florida with my girlfriend my my dad was like uh when we were back here in st louis he's like oh you got to go to this ramen place uh like whatever i don't remember what it was called and i was like okay he's like it's like legit ramen and i'd never eaten that before like Like ramen to me was just like cup noodles. And I was thinking like cup noodles.

I'm like, okay. And I looked at pictures online and I'm like, oh, fuck yeah. This looks like legit meat and stuff. So I went. I got a crispy duck ramen. Delicious. Had that like half egg in there. I didn't know what I was supposed to do with that. You cut it up with your chopsticks and then usually it's like a soft boiled

egg. Yeah. You don't pepper spray yourself with it all right no i didn't do that but i i they gave me the ladle that was like wood and the shallowest ladle of all time and i i made more of a mess on myself than i've ever made at a restaurant because i would like i had the bowl and i'd like at first i didn't know what was meant for the ladle I'm like do I use that to get the remaining broth when it's done so I was just trying to get these huge scoops of noodles in my mouth guys come on like bite some off and it would fall and splash and get all over me and I must have done that half a dozen cultures it tasted fantastic these people we're talking to midwestern and like south like there's no good ramen or pho spots usually outside of like major cities because you want barbecue i'm your

man but raleigh has i think good pho but so the bowl that they serve the pho in is large enough to bathe children and like a chinese usually my metric for the size thing. You know that's how Fahrenheit was invented. So, I'm drinking out of the bowl because in Chinese restaurants, like, you're allowed to do that. It's not bad manners. You're still okay to do that. So I'm at the Vietnamese restaurant and I'm like, is this okay? Like, I don't see

anyone else drinking out of his tub. I thought we were talking about ramen, yeah. I mean, ramen ramen when i took my i took my family my um my dad my mom to ramen like good traditional ramen when they were out here in los angeles for the first time and you know like my parents the whitest people you know but sat down ate the whole thing like ramen is rich very heavy hearty meal you know depending on what you're getting it's it's salty it's spicy they're like this is the best soup i've ever had in my entire life i was like yeah like the fact that i thought until i moved to a major city that ramen was cup

of noodles and i was like yeah it's cool like it's just fucking noodles and broth nah it's like if you have a chance it's so good yeah it's really good. I went to a ramen chain. Is it Top Ramen? Is that what it's called? No, Top Ramen is the name for all ramen that goes on a stovetop. I don't know what I'm thinking of. Maybe there's a number in it. That's like a drive-thru.

So, Tucker, what have you been up to lately? How did you just completely skip that? I'm just streaming and playing video games. I started playing Minecraft again because PewDiePie made that cool. Same. Yes. WoodyCraft, the boys are back in town. I mean, I gave up my server ages ago,

but I've been playing Minecraft on and off for the last eight or so months because i have a dual pc setup so i put shaders on max everything looks gorgeous game looks incredible um and now that i can you know now that i'm on a i'm on a daily series with like vic star and uh speedy and are you doing the the cosmic sky no no uh how to minecraft so it's like okay okay okay different yeah there's a bunch of daily series back popping up now um i just think it's crazy like you know it's like 2015 2016 you come full circle finally people are like not shitting on minecraft because it's a kid's game those kids have grown up and now they're like that's just a good game so it's like full circle we're back to where we started it's funny minecraft always had this like aspect to it where people would come back like i remember when i had a server grand theft auto dropped early and i'm like oh it's all over and player

counts went down but player counts came back and then other things would drop cod would drop you know like big games would suck my players away but they always came back until i thought that would end and it here we are in 2019 and they're back yeah yeah but they released a bunch of really like solid updates like for a very long time it wasn't much and then they came out with these with these good new updates uh like starting in 2018 and since then popularity has just been going up and up and up and up. Nice. I never played Minecraft. I played Minecraft one time in like 2011 with CaptainSparklez but he was

back then he was ProsDon'tTalkShit which rebranded and CNanners. It's old school. And I played for maybe in my head I'm like oh my god I'm playing with like two pretty big deal guys and I was so bored by Minecraft that like in my head I'm like oh my god I'm playing with two pretty big deal guys and I was so bored by Minecraft that like 15 minutes in I'm like

alright guys just hit me up when we're doing Left 4 Dead I'm gonna hop off and I'm sure if I would have given it the time of day it would have been fun because it just seems like digital Legos yeah but there's the thing that made it interesting I mean at least

from a server side perspective was that there were so many good modifications from like combat like mcmmo which is this like combat like tree skill tree type up um update there was like such a good modding community behind it that it was it was fresh but then they just changed the base game to add a bunch of additional features to it so now even the base game itself is fun but quebel's right it was like three years of them doing fuck all and now they've like they've you know got back into the swing of things man like they've the game is great it's fun to play and i'm glad i'm just glad that like people are over the social hump of it being this weird kids only game, but that's good.

Yeah. I never really thought, right. I was going to say, I never thought of it as a kid's game. I've realized I've never thought about it at all. Like any, any more games,

any more games we've played team fight. I've been playing counter strike. I've been playing a bunch. No, I have not touched team fight tactics. Yeah. I'm not good at strategy games it's like what's this it's a legend yeah yeah it's a league of legends auto chess game where

you need to build a team and play against you play against 700 people you uh you get every round you get five random uh characters you legends or heroes you can buy and then if you get three of the same heroes they level up to level two which is much stronger than level one and you need to build the team synergize so some guys work together and give you a bonus um and it's it's just a strategy game and you're you're battle you're fighting the rng uh and it just it's good it's really good it's a new like turn-based or just action yes yes so it's turn-based how i saw how it works is you have like 30 seconds to prepare and then oh no Oh, no. 30 rounds. But it's great.

It's a completely new genre called auto chess. New gaming genre. Like sub-genre. And it's great. So everyone froze for a second. Yeah. Okay. I have nothing else moving on my screen. Say it again.

I have nothing else moving. And I thought my computer was the cause of the failure should i should i say it again yeah you were saying basically it's and then it dropped okay so auto chess it's a it's a tactical game there uh you know every round you get five characters you can you can pick from pick and choose and then you can purchase them. If you have three of the same characters, they level up, and every character has an ability or two abilities or passives they can synergize with with other characters.

For example, get two of these guys, and you'll deal 10% more damage. So you need to pick and choose every round, and you get gold, and certain pieces are more expensive than other ones um and every round you have 30 seconds to repair then you fight some random guy on the board one like there are eight people in every game they fight one of seven enemies um and they have 30 seconds to repair again and they fight seven more enemies uh and and every time you lose you lose health and you just need to survive it's it's a super interesting like eight level almost like chess so you win you go to the next player and

then and it's like all very um i i'm very fascinated by it i enjoy watching it even though i'm not like very i'm not super in tune with the rules but um it was a dota mod um that spawned it off and much like everything dota does league of legends copies um and so it's it's great i like i just i'm so bad at hearthstone or games that rely heavily on specific metas and the way that you can kind of build up a deck or a squad i'm terrible why are you at that why are you bad at that i have a theory it's because fishing for me saying i'm an idiot because that's probably true what i was actually going for those are the games i'm best at is if you if you walk into a game like that it takes like two years to catch up to the population that's my actual prediction as to why you're not good at it no well so this is very new

and while the game's meta like the the the meta that you're gonna play each game and what build you're going for is is not really settled um like overwatch has a meta but at its core it's still a lot of like i mean i was born into first person shooters like that's what my i suspect it's kind of a simple meta right like if i were to walk into magic like i don't get that at all. But that's 20 years of meta. Yeah, yeah. That's like 20 years. Okay. I would guess that it's not as difficult or as complicated right now as magic, but as they expand and add more characters and more items,

it'll definitely become this crazy, you know, whatever you want to call it. So right now what's happening is these metas are forming, right? Because people are like, oh, these are the best combinations. You always want to go and build that. But then League of Legends

or Riot, they're cracking down on it. So they're like, nerf this. You know? And then, okay, something else spawns, and they're like, okay, let's nerf it. So they're really trying to go to, like, there's 20 different ways to win a game. That's their ultimate goal.

So it changes. Every two weeks, there's a new best build because that's when they release the big patches. It's great. Great game. That's complicated as a game developer. You have to have 20 ways to win. You want to balance everything, right? Yeah, but when one's just a little bit better,

people figure out how to really maximize that advantage. And it's hard to balance. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, balancing anything is going to be the hardest part of the game. I mean, Counter-Strike is still balancing the economy system that they've had in the game for 20 years now. So it's just I don't think there's ever to, there's no perfect balance where everything is viable. You're always going to have things stronger than others. Balancing maps too.

Oh, yeah. Unless you make it symmetrical, one side just seems better. Yeah, and no matter what. And even if it's symmetrical, somebody would be like, well, the sun is on that side of the map. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, really, bro? It's not symmetrical. It's mirrored the sun is is on this side of the map so i'll be able

to see someone's shadow half a second before he's able to see my shadow if i walk over to that corner that shit happens in counter-strike you're holding the wrong angle and you can somebody's shadow and you're like there's a guy there and somebody will complain like you're cheating not dude i just saw your shadow i didn of that. That's how people used to be like, you can't buy nice headphones and use dead silent. That's not fair. Sound whoring. Everything down to a muddy, even volume. Oh, I love

sound whoring. You can just hear from halfway across the map, like, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish. You knew exactly where they were going. Before we move, I've got something. I found something nefarious in my basement, but first I'm going to read something from our good, good friends at GOAT.com. GOAT.com slash PKA is our link for them. If you're buying sneakers online, there's a good chance that the shoe you're looking at is fake. How can you be sure it's real? Well,

GOAT.com is the safest way to buy and sell authentic sneakers online. They're the largest marketplace in the world for authentic Yeezys, Jordans, and over 600,000 sneaker listings. They've made the whole process frictionless and trustworthy. They do this by only accepting sellers with the best reputation and by verifying all sneakers to ensure their authenticity for buyers. Every detail is inspected, from the stitching and color to the size and weight. Goat certifies that every pair of sneakers on their site matches exactly factory specifications. With over half a million sneakers on the platform and 10 million users, you won't find better prices for verified 100% authentic sneakers anywhere else. Find the perfect 100% authentic sneaker at goat.com slash pka.

That's goat.com slash pka plus's goat.com slash pka plus you'll also be supporting the show but you've got to go right now before the sneakers you want are gone you want to go to goat.com slash pka spell g-o-a-t.com slash pka for cool ass sneakers how much that url cost do you think goat probably it is a good it? Somebody was definitely squatting on that. Yes. Is goat.com slash pk just like a redirect? It just redirects back to their collections. I think it must just tick as like a...

I don't know. Everyone click on it and tell us how it works for you. So give us a click and a comment. Click on it and tell us how it works for you. So give us a click and a comment. Click on it and report back. Because your clicks and your comments don't hurt us at all. Yeah, that's not a bad price at all. I need some new shoes. I'm a big fan of Off-White stuff.

But is that... You got the Yeezy Boost 350 V2 Butter what does SPLY 350 mean SPLY 350 I don't know I don't like Yeezys that much they look like hover boats yeah I'm not very shoe

knowledgeable I'm a big fan so cool so Kanye actually designs all these or no I mean look like we can kind of we can kind of take everything with a grain of salt here kanye definitely has um hands in the pie and definitely is like the head designer here because some of the shit that they put out is the is there's no way anybody but kanye was the one who was like we need this like their newest one

looks like um you know when you put your foot inside a snow boot and then you pull out the interior lining and it's on? I swear to God, their new shoe looks exactly like that. I gotta find a photo of it. It looks like a sock. It's terrible, in my opinion.

Well then, go there, guys, to goat.com slash pka and pick out something else because it looks to me that they've got a fuck ton of shoes for you picking shoes is tough as you get older like when i was no it's not you just buy new balances and then you mow your lawn in them and use them for everything that's like the problem like like so 17 year old me would just go to footlocker or whatever, buy the coolest freaking shoes to my eye, and pull them off. That's what I'd do.

46-year-old me, I can't rock Wheezy's. Yeezy's, right? I can't rock. See? No, Wheezy's. You said it right. You said it right. Wheezy's.

I can't rock. I can't even say the word. Yeezy's. Yeezy Yeezys thank you all right like there's a lot of shoes that you feel off limits to me these are for for young people I I think you need to understand that shoes uh have definitely come into their own right as being another notable fashion item much like a watch where you can you can have your casio you know standard or your fossil watch or you can have like the rolex of watches and people will notice just because it's it's not flashy doesn't mean it has to be boring like you can get some good dad shoes that like there's like that is not a shoe that is a shoe quote unquote dad shoes are are deaf i have some of my own they're like they look like oversized almost reebok type thing like those are kind of in so you can like you can buy just low profile shoes

that are nice that are fit whatever you're looking for you don't have to buy your fucking velcro reebok feelers or whatever i'll show you what i actually wear i'm just i'm saying dad dad wear is in that's why all these old brands are coming back champion is now uh streetwear even though back in like the late 90s they were just like the shitty like crew neck um like sweatshirt type company yeah dad wear is posh that's why i've started only wearing big dog shirts you can exclusively buy at tourist shops in Florida. Holy shit, Woody. These are the, we call these the, these are like the IT 10,000s or something.

Are they that bad? I mean, this is just like, you look like you live in, the only place that people wear this are like Portland, Oregon. Like, what do you wear? Are you going to climb a mountain every day? What's the point of this? I'm going to run into the sky. That's like a typical use. Why would you, why would you wear are you gonna climb a mountain every day what's the point i'm gonna run into the sky that that's like a tip why would you why would you wear this this is literally what would you wear design shoe i'm in a field running shoe okay with gopher tactical shoot pick out pick out i challenge you you find one that's better what are you looking for i what is why not a low profile

like oh my gosh are you looking to you know just look good running the grass you're looking okay looking around so you need an athletic shoe that's also not ostentatious it says i can run but not look at me even though there's okay i like that me that's kind of what i'm going for or do you know don't look at me too much don't look at me. Okay, I like that. That's kind of what I'm going for. Don't look at me too much. Just get some Timberlands. There you go. No, shut up! That's not even a link to a shoe.

I'm looking at wallets. Any one of them there. Just get your Tims, alright? Get your Tims. See, you guys talk a big game, but you've linked zero shoes. It's harder than you think. It's not hard at all. Let's see your link.

Four-inch sole Doc Martens. There you go. You could have your four-inch sole Doc Martens. Doc Martens? Is this what Kim Jong-un would wear? Four-inch sole Doc Martens? No. Why not something like this? It's low profile.

It's athletic. Or something even more sporty. Really? Christ, Quebble. You guys are fighting for link position. Yeah. Reebok all white quadruple E's. Is that what I'm looking at? Yeah. Or the bottom one. Reebok all white quadruple E's.

Is that what I'm looking at? Or the bottom one. The last one that I posted was more athletic. Are these even men's shoes? They look like ladies' shoes to me. Settle down. It's 2019. You can wear ladies' shoes if you'd like. The one that Queb linked looks like edible. They're glow-in-the-dark. so you can wear the shoes if you'd like. The one that Queb linked looks like edible. Yeah, it does.

You know what I mean? They're glow-in-the-dark. It could be a tasty little snack of a shoe. And these are only $10,000. Oh, my gosh. They are $10,000. $10,000. $10,105.

Good. Are they bigger in size? We're in Flight Club. This is like the premiere. They're only $8,000 only eight grand like an ass for woody those are wheezes i i would love it legit leave a comment and tell me if you think tucker's shoes are appropriate for me to go like paramotoring in and yeah parrot why what is like that's what i do when i go outside no okay you have an inherent

you have an inherent idea of what is appropriate and i'm now trying to fight you with it that's the problem like you okay like you can get you need two pairs of shoes if you're going paramotoring you can wear your like like tent shoes and then if you want to go to like lunch you can wear like a normal shoe that's a legit thing yeah like I wore flip flops today and knew that no I said that is a legit thing I was agreeing with you yeah yeah and I knew that

flip flops were not a good look right hold on I'm just going to grab his shoes I do love the ones that you linked Woody that you wear like it looks like you just got back from Kilimanjaro. Those kind of shoes. Just high-intensity mountaineering shoes. Have multiple shoes, right?

So you can have workout shoes, running shoes. I'll get my shoes. How is this offensive? Look at this. This is like a normal shoe. It is low-profile. is it is low profile it is slightly athletic it is comfortable as hell this one is a nice beige you can get it in white or black it's got one red stripe you can wear this to a funeral to church to dinner it doesn't matter

that was i've done all three you're kind of winning me over until that it was appropriate funeral wear like under the seat on the other hand this is these are these are these are like dad wear shoes i love these also adidas but these are these are this is like this is it for some people some people make you this is like this this is like very bulky and what you'd imagine your dad wearing reebok whatever and two different types of shoes yeah my for a shoe showcase oh i can only quips are gonna be orange so okay look at that see what i'm saying a little bit so so these are my go-to you know i just want to put something on run around maybe i'm going to the gym maybe i'm just gonna go for groceries like need to put something on. I just want to be quick.

These are just light. You know, I can go running in these. They're running shoes, right? Maybe, hey, maybe my girlfriend wants to go shopping. I need to carry all her bags and stuff. I need to be, you know, exercising and following her through all the stores. These are the ones I wear. Okay, next up.

You know, you're going to visit a friend's house. You don't want to show up in those shoes are you crazy so i have my cool sneakers right these are cause jordans just my cool sneakers my like i am going to dinner and nothing too fancy don't want to show up for dinner with like running shoes and whatever no not. I might wear for like a casual meeting or whatever. Like I run to the office. This is the stuff I, you know. Hold it a little closer to the camera so we can see that one. Yeah, there's a lot of depth in those black shoes right there. Very nice.

These are the cause hands and whatever. Anyways, now we have movie premiere. We have party like fancy. You got to get dressed up and whatnot. You got to show off. You just get these simple. You know, they're a little bit dirty. These are one of my pairs.

But, you know, you just go simple, like clean cut. You can wear them with a suit. You can wear them with jeans. Hey, you could even wear these with, like, shorts, okay? They still look good. And that's all you need. Three pair of shoes, you could even wear these with shorts. Okay? They still look good. And that's all you need. Three pair of shoes, you're good. One, you can get dirty.

Two other ones, you don't. And then that's all you need. You don't need more than that. Now, obviously, if you have colorful outfits, you need to get color coordinated. So you need the three basic colors. I'm joking. I don't know anything about you. I have a pair of shoes that was in the class

of one of those, and my younger hipper friends made fun of me for them. Get better friends. Fuck those people. That's a good idea, actually. I'm asking my wife to deliver them because it would take me like a minute to go get oh yeah weird flex but okay oh yeah my oh the other end of my my state they literally well i was hiding this one in the in the pool house uh not the main pool house but the guest

i'm pretty sure these shoes are in the gym and there isn't like a farther room. One of my three wives is just driving the golf cart over so she can jump into the yacht to sail over to my side of the island. I need to watch. I keep like re-pepper spraying myself. I'm so fucked. I think I still have pepper. Your story you told us was today?

Yeah, that was today. Oh, no. There's pepper on my fingers. For some reason, I thought it was just like an anecdotal story from weeks ago. You know how you stop it? You pour milk in your eye. Yeah, my wife offered that as a solution. I'm like, I'm not going to do that.

That's stupid. I don't think that's what you do. What you actually do is you take No More Tears shampoo and dump it in your eye. Oh, you're a genius. So many tears. Yeah, that's what we did to a friend of mine when we were like 17. Wait, you know those are Reeboks and I literally scrolled past them to get to some of the other ones I had sent you, right? Those are fine.

I see no problem. Those are fine. They're just red. Yeah. So show me the bottom for a second. Yeah. That is fine. That that's like you know but when do you wear these because you said my friends make fun of me when you wear them

like are you going to like a funeral and you got those on we met for lunch basically we flew to the same spot and went to lunch okay okay that's fine well then they're being kind of douchey you're not gonna bring like an outfit change out of your shirt. I'm going to link this part of the show to him. I think it was a friendly ribbing. Like, oh, look at Woody wearing some normal for once. Let's make him feel uncomfortable. But he took a video of me and put it on his YouTube channel.

All right, well, fuck that guy. I only wear soccer cleats no matter what. They click. I used to do that. I used to wear, no, not the soccer cleats. I used to wear exclusively soccer jerseys. I'm talking like five years ago back when we were on the heyday of Call of Duty because I maintain, I still do, most comfortable clothing possible is a soccer jersey. It wicks away sweat naturally.

That's the whole point of it. And they're stretchy. They're colorful. They're interesting. You get to start feuds with strangers that you didn't even know, even if you don't care about the team. One of my favorite shirts in the world. Oi, bruv, you're a fan of shitting ham.

I don't care for them. You know that million-dollar COD championship? Do you guys remember? What is it called? Yeah, yeah. COD XP. I was in the first COD XP. The first COD XP, one of the ways you qualified for it was you just played all the time and

got the most kills in 45 hours or 48 hours or something like that. Anyway, this guy, who I guess liked my videos earned his way into cod xp so then he's like you know i know what i'm gonna do with my experience i'm gonna stack a team with like woody tmart there was another guy too and him and we got knocked out the first round but i was in cod xp and they gave me this like legit shirt with my name on it and stuff like that i love that shirt it whisks away sweat it's cool i think it has a graphic on it that like v-shapes your shoulders to your to your waist but i feel like if i wear it i'm like some old man clinging to his past or something so i usually don't i i got all into like just wearing full-on track suits like the last few months like like

you're a peter enough to love track suits like magic adidas tripoloski nike are my favorite but but i'm like why would i like why would i put on some uncomfortable jeans or an uncomfortable suit i mean i have a suit which is also comfortable but like let's put it on quickly i'm nice and comfortable and i can go ahead and do my thing and it looks good sometimes too like if you have a matching track suit so i'm all for it and plus plus i'm kind of wearing a suit right that's true you know who was the king of comfort for the longest time? Kevin Smith. He would just wear... He was fat and disgusting

slovenly. Only makes movies that are derivative of his first movie. And he would wear hockey jerseys and the biggest jorts. You had to use like three pairs of normal jeans to make that. And it was just like he like

at first i like when i saw pictures of him in public i'd be like who do you think you're fooling like like that hockey jersey you know that doesn't look athletic on you but then i kind of realized it's like oh he knows he looks ridiculous he's just all in all his chips are on the comfort square a little more dude so right next to the spa place, there was a men's store, and they sold plaid suits, suits with pineapples on them, suits with

palm trees on them, and I was so tempted. I was like, holy shit! They sell these? I could have them. I don't know how much a pineapple print suit is, but it can't be too much. This isn't New York. You're going to want this purple boa and how many feathers you want.

I could wear it on the show. You can't half-ass wear those, though. You'll see somebody in one of those matching short shorts and button-down T-shirts, and they're well-manicured, and you're like, you rock that. And then you put that on me, and I'm like, what are you fucking wearing? I should wear it on the show. A full suit, jacket, pants,

all matching, get myself a cane and a hat. Yes. Just the top. Just put on some comfortable pants, because you won't see it anyways. Sometimes you wake up and I've said to myself, I'm just too

lazy to put... The idea of putting on jeans would ruin my day, so I'm just going to put on anything else. What? But if you're streaming all day, why would you even care about not putting anything on? Because I have to stand up. Oh, I'm wearing short, short shorts right now. Show me. I don't believe you.

This is what I'm wearing., short shorts right now. Show me. I don't believe you. This is what I'm wearing. Look at those quads. Those are powerful. You're going to see your underwear. I'm like, this is my work outfit. I have an H&M t-shirt. I find the most comfortable one.

I'm like, okay. I just bought 20 of them. Steve Jobs over there. Okay, I might have gotten 20 I might have bought 40 of them So and they're just really nice And comfortable and then I'm like I'll just put on Some nice shorts or whatever I'm gonna be in my office all day nobody's gonna see me

And all you see is on the camera I'm like got a nice t-shirt on boom there you go I love the life that you guys are living Like oh man it would destroy my day If I wore long pants You know I can't deal with that kind of lifestyle listen you can't be comparing your life to mine because we all we that's my major hurdle and it means as much to me as you whatever you're dealing with okay whatever i'm thought of constricting my nuts every day terrifying i need to make sperm you have kids i need sperm to make kids

we need to keep it nice and optimal down there okay right temperature not too much sweat sweat yes it just needs to be good no i'm the opposite like yours is out of service under my desk oh space heater under my desk because i only want the strongest to survive destroy the child i love taylor's he said on the show like a couple months ago that he's using the pullout method and letting jesus take the wheel on like the direction his life heads which really is like i'm just doing i've been doing the-out method for a while now. It seems to be working, but that is a grenade that will eventually go off. But that's why I sit, I wear tight compression athletic underwear. I use a space heater even when I'm hot.

Do you put your phone in there all the time too for the radiation? Well, when I make popcorn, I get a step stool and put my genitals right up against the glass. Taylor, if you do have a child, that child will be a super child. He will have survived the sperm treatment that you're giving him now. I'm impressed. Either that or Down Syndrome. I'm rolling the dice.

That gif, I'm retarded? It's no fun. Dude, that makes me laugh. love that uh i i've got a i've got something it's oh shit i ended up copying a link to fucking shoes what's funny like the pullout method is uh not effective horrible method don't do it it's a euphemism right my girl and it sounds it sounds sweet enough right like oh we do the pull-out method oh okay yeah yeah pull out like i get it but if you were to rephrase it is like i like to come on her tits and face then it's a whole nother vibe to like it's a it's a little insight see See? Well, yeah, you're right.

Sorry, Taylor. I think the pull-out method is, well, I'm about to nut, and then I pull out right before. But the come anywhere else is a strategic method, which allows you three to four seconds of buffer time, right? You don't have that with the pull-out method. Nope. Yeah, the pull-out method is like. It's like. It's like. Oh. With the pull-out method. Nope. Yeah, the pull-out method is like... It's like... Up!

Baby, just so you know, the first pump might have been in there. That's really funny. See, okay, well, then I'm not doing... Then I'm doing a different version of the pull-out method. I'm not doing it right up until the cost. I'm giving myself more... What you guys are doing... Yeah, you guys are doing choreographed stuff. You're doing the aim-out method. I'm not doing right up until the cusp. I'm giving myself a little deeper. What you guys are doing, yeah, you guys are doing choreographed stuff. You're doing the

aim and fire method. Then you're taking it out. I don't know, you may be going for a cup of tea. The cock and blow. Then the cup of tea. You know, like it's a whole different story. Just right on their face. Yeah. Yeah.

So I've talked before about uh being in missouri there's a fuck ton of brown recluse here um brown what is that it's a type of spider that is oh you can't rely on like a like a racist american term no i don't know i really don't know is that an indian guy in the bushes must be a brown recluse yes he's hiding it's a house spider that is mostly in the midwest and there's fuck tons of them around here like every house here has some just depends on how many and if they bite you they're incredibly venomous and they'll cause necrotic flesh eating away yeah but like you can

you can get them taken care of like all those pictures you see on google are gonna like those are people who got bit by like a whole family of them and we're like i'm fine and they just let it happen so i've been putting these sticky traps in my unfinished area in my gym, in my basement, because you can't kill brown recluse any other way because they don't want you to see them. They don't want to be around you. If you start to walk into a room, they're fucking gone. They're not called the brown social the parties. They're not called the brown socialite. They want to recluse, recluse, reclusify, reclusify.

They want to reclusify. recluse recluse reclusify reclusify i was going i was starting my workout last night and i went to a couple different ones and i was like oh because i've got like probably 10 or so put in different areas i was like oh nice looks like no bugs on there no new ones no new ones here oh one new one there but that's a little beetle like roly-poly kind of thing like looks like i guess i'm getting most of the big spiders that's good news and i go over to this corner one by my hockey area because i have a hockey net where i shoot street hockey pucks and everything down there and i went behind the the downstairs sink and on that sticky trap was this wait we get a picture oh my, my God. Holy fuck. No way. It's coming, people. Yeah.

No way. Yeah, that was in my fucking... He's like... He's alive. He's playing the snake game on your sticky pad. Yeah, he really did. It's like he touched it and he's like, I don't want to be a little...

I want to be all the way. Let me get my whole body on here so how long has it been is it possible that he just got there or could it have been three days I hadn't checked it since before I went on vacation but basically like that photo is like that's a hockey stick and frame I was like I use that to pull the trap out and as I was like pulling it out like he was playing dead like I was so I didn't want to use my hand still though so as soon as I was pulling it out, he was playing dead. So I didn't want to use my hand still, though. So as soon as I started pulling the trap with the hockey stick, he wakes up, and his head's moving around,

and he wants to bite something, and he's licking his tongue out. And so I just put the hockey stick there to get a picture of him with his mouth open. And there's nothing you can do in this situation. You just mashed it, huh? You can't take it off of the sticky pad or it'll tear all its skin off really it'll die faster oh yeah yeah but you could pull your hand off right you wouldn't lose your hand uh why is this i mean it's much smaller and it's different

like it would and you can see there like that white stripe near the top of it. It had basically mushed all of its skin into it. And so it was really fucking stuck. And at the time, I didn't know. Somebody tweeted me and said, if you put some kinds of oil on them, it'll sometimes release them, and then you can take it out there. And so I'll try that next time,

because I didn't want to kill it. It's just a harmless garter. It's just a garter snake, right? Yeah, it's just like a garter snake or a little rat snake like it's not venomous it's not going to hurt you and so i didn't want to kill an animal and so i was thinking i'm like all right well if i chop its head off it's still going to be suffering and everything because like the head like a chicken just like you got to destroy the brain and so i basically took the hockey stick blade and I like lined it up like a guillotine right over its skull and then just rolled the whole thing. Instant death.

The whole skull was crushed. And so there is zero percent chance that thing suffered at all. So at least I was, you know, PETA approved snake removal. Jeez. You know, I would have smacked it. But you just like fucking crushing walnuts. Like basically yeah because leverage yeah i would have gone with this shovel i may have missed yeah i probably would have gone with a shovel i think i just like rocked on it you know oh that's not that i was actually thinking of a shovel bop i feel like i

couldn't miss maybe i could that's like the whole size of that uh it's like the size of an envelope base or like a big like birthday card style envelope maybe like eight inches by five inches or something so that's probably like like a little over two feet total so yeah i wonder if that's snake in my basement does the snake eat recluses was he probably taylor it probably did it probably ate recluses and uh i haven't been noticing as many recluses down there you will now there's a daddy long leg on there and i felt bad for poor daddy long like he never did anything to anybody he was just hey they're the most venomous uh spider or one of them looks that up that's not true i was fooled by kevin in first grade i don't think that daddy long legs are even spiders. Am I crazy about that?

You may be right. They're like some goofy ass bug. That's my scientific guess. A goofy ass bug. I just googled daddy long neck and apparently that's a musician. No, that's not what you want to... Daddy long legs. I know, I know, I know. Yeah, apparently they're not venomous, nor are they spiders. They don't do anything. Really?

They're not even fucking spiders? Yeah, it's weird. They're arachnids, but not spiders? Pisses me off. This is a family of iranomorph spiders. With pill-shaped bodies and eight long legs that are actually not spiders and full sids. Huh. You just know some guy

discovered that. George, get in here. I found something. A brand new type of bug. He's like, Alan, that's a spider. It's got eight legs. No, it's... No, it isn't. It's a dolphin. You think I'm dumb?

It's... Fuck you. Arachnids include scorpions mites ticks and apparently daddy long legs i didn't know ticks are the worst i got a couple recently mowing my yard because i like live near a forest and so there's a bunch of like ticks and bugs and shit oh i'm always boots afraid of yeah wear knee-high boots too Don't ask Tucker for footwear advice. He'll make fun of you the whole time. Boots are boots, man. Earn your red wings.

So now I gotta call an exterminator and have him come in and make sure there's no more. And the thing is, I have no fucking clue how it got in. Why do you have to call an exterminator? Because there was a snake? You want to make sure there's no more snakes? Yeah, I want to make sure where there's one snake, there's probably more.

My frugal ass would go with the, let's see if snakes jump on the next sticky pad methodology. You should have thrown the alive snake back into the garden so he could tell his other snake buddies, hey, don't ever get on this fucking thing. Yeah, he was smacking me with hockey sticks. It's terrible in there. I don't want to put sticky pads down for non-bug animals.

But you need to. It seems cruel. I was not expecting to catch anything. I was expecting to catch roaches. It turns out I don't have a roach problem at all. It's all spiders and one snake. Do you guys... Politics.

Steve King. Are you guys familiar with this dude? Racist pedophile. No, no. You're thinking of the other guy. You're thinking of Alabama man. This is Iowa man. Yeah.

He was right with the racist. I don't know that he's right about the pedophile. Oh, Roy Moore is a pedophile. Roy Moore is definitely the racist. I remember Stephen King tweeting at Steve King saying, this is not me. Yeah, you've ruined it. That's very funny. So Steve King is pushing forward a pro-life bill right now.

And I guess in conversation, he somehow sort of came out in what seemed like he was in favor of rape and incest. I mean, is this shocking? Oh, I did read a blurb about this. Considering all the wars and rape and pillage that has taken place, I know I can't certify that I wasn't part of the product of that. I'd like to think that everyone, all of our lives are precious, more so than any other life. And he goes on basically to say, like, look, rape and incest have been common enough

that a lot of us wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for rape and incest. Oh, so he's like making the case, yeah. Yeah, it ties into the pro-life argument. Do you think thatpe should be legal? You see, this isn't a very good argument from this guy. What did he think was going to happen? People will be like, you know, now that you say it, Steve, I'm on board.

He went with the strong Greco-Roman defense. Well, they fucking raped all the boys, so why can't we? The Genghis Khan defense. Yeah. It's like they just raped their way across asia i mean i didn't i never i never thought this guy was the bastion of like human morality um from what i've read so this is not surprising it's kind of he's not 100 wrong i'm sorry i thought you were good he's not 100 wrong like who's the same guy that's my time we all know what a family tree looks like, right? That all the little...

He has two people, then they have three people. Mine goes like this, but we're like this. So you think... Yours is wide and... We're in America. It kind of goes like this. But who's to say that there isn't one joint up there way at the top that wasn't like, I don't know, a rape or incest.

Here's why I feel like this is just such a disingenuous argument. Because I am the product of it does not mean that I am now like, well, fuck yeah, let's just go full-fledged like everybody below me gets it. Just because I'm the product of it doesn't mean I have to support it, right? Do you think that somebody who was born be this was the first example off my head and it's gonna be terrible but like do you think somebody was born like like with a with an addiction to drugs like opiate opiates is gonna be like well you know my mom did opiates when i was born and here i am today she got pregnant when she was on heroin so like why not just like allow everybody to do that i just feel like it's such a weird argument to be like well i'm here because of that so we might as well allow it down

here i hear but everyone's everyone's sort of reframing it is that he's really trying to make an argument for children's lives you know that children you know in fetus lives i guess you know would be another way to say it so argument is basically boiled down to no matter how the baby gets in there, it deserves to live. Is his like what he's saying? But it was weird that he framed it in this sort of like public good kind of thing. Is it weird or is it him pushing his agenda?

Well, yeah, it's their politicians. They never say anything that's not agenda-assed. Whatever it would be. Well, I think it's funny. Steve King is an idiot. I can't vote but the the politician who i who i do like to follow is andrew yang oh yeah you're very interested with uh he's uh he's a lot of like out uh non um non what's the word non-nat non-us non-US people. Non-Americans. Oh, that is the rest of the world.

Yeah, the rest of... I have a lot of friends from Canada. This Andrew Yang guy is really interesting. Yeah, because Andrew Yang, he seems very educated. He's like, he makes a few points and you're like, yes, that

needs to be fixed in America. And, you know, he backs it up all with facts he's not about the show uh he's not about you know i think he's great but then again i can't vote for you guys he's interesting he's interesting yeah i like him too i think he's more like the Elon Musk of politicians. Maybe he'll get elected four years late. Other than his big thing was universal basic income, like $1,000 a month to everyone. Of all the Dems, I like Tulsi Gabbard the most.

Really? She's like totally anti-war. That's one of Taylor's tentpole issues. He's really anti-war. Oh, he's anti-anti-war. Yeah, just anti-war and that's one of Taylor's tentpole issues. He's really anti-war. He's anti-anti- He's anti-unnecessary war. Yeah, is it anti-interventionalism? Somewhat, yeah. We've fiddle-fucked around in so many

areas of the world that are just fucked now. Where it's like, hey, him how we stay out of the middle east what are we doing yeah i i feel like these other countries are cheating china hasn't had war in like 50 years they're over there sim citying in this game of civilizations right meanwhile we're investing every dollar and they have to be a type of crossbows and javelin or whatever the budget for the for the army it's like ridiculous ridiculous and you can't even criticize it i just read this thing recently about the air force and their

one thousand two hundred dollar coffee cups that break easily the fuck the fuck is happening with twelve hundred dollar coffee cups and if you don't just say we should give them more money and more money and more money then you're not patriotic. Trump can go up there in front of 100,000 people and say, I'm going to pay the military even more, and they all cheer because that's patriotic. Everyone loves it. America, yeah, yeah, yeah. USA.

How about this? Someone go say, I want to audit the armed forces. I want to look for waste. Just because we spend more than the next 10 countries combined does not mean that we have a better army or military i should say than the next 10 countries combined there's like there's i mean having an army sure you know having an active like whatever uh but but it's like it's an overkill there's no need to have this much and spend this much money on it

because nothing is happening sounds like somebody trying to destabilize our military sounds like that's it the Dutch are coming over we are going to bring them freedom whether they like it or not we're claiming Manhattan back soon guys don't worry about it

I mean I don't think to go back to Andrew Yang I don't worry yeah you're gonna take it back i mean i like i i i'm i'm interested i don't think to go back to andrew yang i don't think he as far as i've understood the polling i don't think that he is anywhere near like uh close to being a nominee but we haven't even whittled out like the guy who wears boots on his head from the from the democratic side of things it's literally like here's a town hall there's 40 people you won't remember half of them like you know what i mean we're still a year and a half away so it's i'm voting for vermin supreme that's his name vermin who is that fucking rules you don't know who vermin supreme is he runs for president every single time he wears a boot on his head

and he's got like this white beard and he's just whack i don't know what it looks like always there sorry and i don't fucking care yeah it's like him and the rent too damn high guy yeah vermin supreme rocks i have another topic before we jump to that let me uh read a couple of our friends' messages here. All right. This is coming from NHTSA, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Let's go. A word from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

Everyone knows about the risks of driving drunk. You could get in a crash. People could be hurt or killed. But here are some surprising statistics. Almost 29 people in the United States die every day in alcohol-impaired vehicle crashes. That's one person every 50 minutes. Even though drunk driving fatalities have fallen by a third in the last three decades, drunk driving crashes still claim more than 10,000 lives a year. Drunk driving can have a big impact on your wallet as well. You could get arrested and

incur huge legal expenses. You could possibly even lose your job. So what can you do to prevent drunk driving? Plan a safe ride home before you start drinking. Designate a sober driver or call a taxi if someone you know has been drinking. Take their keys and arrange for them to get a sober ride home. We all know the consequence of driving drunk, but one thing's for sure. You're wrong if you think it's no big deal. Drive sober or get pulled over. So, fuck you, drive safe.

Yeah, shit. Guys, I'm all for autonomous driving. Autonomous vehicles. Because they would save so many lives. Plus, if that's the case... But whose lives would they save? But before we get to autonomous vehicles, this episode is also brought

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incredible breath, my friends. There you go. Alright, sorry. I stepped on someone. I was going to do a new topic. You were going, Queb? I was just going to say, autonomous cars, man. That's the future. It saves lives. Dude, does anyone here have one?

I slurred that. Does anyone here have one? Yeah, I was very excited. I said it. I said I slurred that. I'm just waiting. I'm waiting for getting my driver's license until I don't need one and can just buy a car and then just jump in and that's it. Done. Sure.

You don't have a driver's license in Canada yet? No. In Canada, I just walk everywhere and then in Amsterdam, it's just biking. What city are you in? Currently in Amsterdam. In Canada. Oh, in Canada. Oh, Toronto.

Toronto. Toronto gets cold. It does. In the winters yes Yes that is true Are you going to be there in the winter Well Vancouver doesn't get that cold I visit fairly often And sometimes in the winter

So I have this big warm Canada goose jacket I have long johns Things under my trousers And then I have like a Put a beanie on. Tell me more about the thing under your trousers. Yeah, you know, so it's a long johns. Oh, okay.

That's disappointing. A long john, indeed. So you have underwear, and then you have underwear on top of your underwear, which is like, goes all the way down to your feet. They should call that in-between wear. They could. That's a good one.

Really, that rolls off the tongue. Yeah. Good branding. In-between wear slash PKA for, oh, no, we're out of business. I think it's tweeners. Put your tweeners on. No? Just me? I like it. Put your tweeners you know you throw you put your tweeners on no just me i like it tweeners on you know what i'm gonna start wearing our male rompers but that's a good look do you know what rompers are

i know tucker does is this like the pajamas with the hole in the back you have one it's basically a onesie but it's shorts i i have i have it's not a it's not a full rom, but it's shorts. I have... It's not a full romper, but it's matching short shorts in a jacket that also turns into a fanny pack. I just googled it. This is great. Yep. That is... This is what it is.

Yeah. Look at how cool that guy is. I don't think... I think the ones that work well are are not the ones that are um are like the the like floral patterns you know you can't go wrong with a little floral here's a romper that comes in a gay pride rainbow who would have guessed that market crossover that's the one that's the one i'm gonna get support the pride movement and feel a little wind on my nutsack. You're not going to feel any wind

on your nutsack because it's short shorts. Oh, then I'm not interested. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I can't, without plausible deniability, expose myself to people in public, then I'm out. Then I'm out for this one. Well, this is

just terrible. This is awful because like i have you ever been on when we did a dick flash reading tucker no uh dickflash.com it's it's a whole website of guys oh yes yeah so people who try and figure out the best ways to expose themselves literally illegal so it's like it's a it's a whole forum like a real website called dickflash.com that i've read funny passages from and it's like a bunch of fucking pervert borderline if not for sure doing a legal thing criminals being like oh i went to you know i was at the park today and i walked up behind someone on the trail and i pulled my penis out and then she was jogging.

And so I started jogging, too. And I jogged right past her and I stayed long enough and she definitely saw it. And so and then I just kept running and it was such a rush. And every comment is like, oh, that's so hot. Oh, I love that. That's so cool, man. Do you have any other good tips? that's so cool man do you have any other good tips and some guy he's like another good tip is you can turn around from the urinal without putting your penis back in your pants

and then zip it back up yeah and then zip it back tell me something i don't know taylor they have like stack rankings of like how risky it is how not risky one guy was talking he's like i was i intentionally walk around with my robe open when my mother-in-law is in town she was making eggs and so i walked in with my penis hanging out very slyly and i'm like how can put someone in a robe with their dick hanging out think that they're being sly and then in their head the way they look at it they're like she saw and then she looked at me and i could tell there was a sparkle in her eye it was like there's no sparkle dude you're you're harassing women and making them uncomfortable and they're just smiling to hope that it stops like you were there like you know

you're acting like you know there was no sparkle i've seen enough stepmoms take dick to know they all love taking dick oh my god it's like one of my go-to categories i didn't expect such powerful arguments winning me over on this anyway dickflash.com if you want to laugh go go peek on over there i know anything it's that step women and people having pizza delivered want to fuck oh yeah that is true single after all this all this pizza. What was the topic you had an hour ago that you wanted to do this? Me? Yeah. So Henry Cejudo is the 135 and 145-pound UFC champion of the world.

He's also an Olympic gold medalist wrestler. So he calls himself Triple C. He's a champion in wrestling champion and 135 and champion at 145 well there just happens to be a lady named amanya noon amanda nunez who is the female champion at 135 and 45 and he's calling her out you guys can we hit play together yes yeah oh yes ready set play so i'm out here enjoying my beautiful Sunday here in beautiful Las Vegas. But my phone just keeps blowing up. That somebody by the name of Valentina, the Bull of Shevchenko,

is the most dominant champion in the world. My mistake. And guess what? I get a little jelly. Because you know what? She has gold, and I want that gold. Valentina Shevchenko i have a message for you i'm looking to become the first intergender world champion the world has ever seen

i'm calling you out you could be the next to bend the knee to triple c triple C. So I'm out here and I hope so badly she gets fucking juiced by all the Russians and she just beats the living shit out of them. I messed up who he was fighting, but... Welcome in the ring.

Hello, my friends. It is FBS SquibbleCoffee. That's pretty good yeah yeah that's pretty funny like if they they should have a real fight where he like is handicapped in some way one arm only one arm he can only use his right his choose the arm but he only gets one the other other one's like zip-tied to his shorts or something like that so that he can't get it. I don't know. I don't even watch it.

I mean, I'd be super down to watch that. I'd watch it, and I'd guarantee I'd pull for her any day of the week. I do pull for her a couple days a week. I love that his idea of going one further beyond his three championships is like, all right, and now I attack the lightweight women. I'm going to be the intergender champion. He was like, maybe I go into a different sport. He's like, I got to fuck up the women's side too now.

Henry Cahooto entering the ring, who announced this morning for the next 38 hours he will identify as female. It looks like he's been taking estrogen pills for the last six weeks. He has been taking it for a few titties. Six hours.

He has removed his testicles for this fight. That's how I would come back, guys. If I was her, I'd make a Twitter video just like me and a pair of hedge clippers saying that i'm ready when you're ready but you've got to qualify for the female division it'd be a blast he's got to respond that's good pr funny marketing like a little silly if you go through all this uh

shit it's like the last like four days are all just retweets and posts about it so uh can you find a response what do you mean just literally click on her name and then and then just go through all of her all of her tweets yeah my twitter is right only so i'm a twitter yeah yeah it's just a whole bunch of shit i can't wait to spend more time on pentacon like i die on my own time i'm gonna do this i know it's it's it is the best drinking game and it's funny because a friend of mine showed me it at a bar and i didn't believe her and then we started going through it and i was like this is the most content i've ever seen in my entire life and the and the site updates every week and it adds like almost a full page

of people so like even if you're going every week and it takes me like two hours to go through a page, if you're like really guessing and reading the bios and caring about it. So it's content forever. Yeah, pretty much. God, I love it.

I don't even have to do anything. I just read. All right. The best bits. I want to tap into the Queb and Tucker opinion on Ninja leaving Twitch. First of all, can you talk about this? Or do you feel like a little Twitch handpumped? I can talk about it.

I can talk about it. All right. So I actually had a mixer deal. I was one of the streamers who was in partnership with Microsoft for a while. And it was nothing but joy. I really enjoyed it. I think they really enjoyed it too. Great partnership.

And this was when it was still called Beam. And then during my one-year partnership, it switched to Mixer. And I'm good friends with one uh one of the founders uh suit james um and um i think it's great i think it's really really good that ninja switched over i've i've seen so many numbers being thrown around all right i've seen what is your guess because i have i have a very good educated but i'm curious about yours too yeah so so i i read a bunch of articles uh you know i saw some read some leaked numbers here's what here's what i think uh 60 million for five years okay my and then we'll get into it my i have i've talked to people who

yeah yeah i've talked with people who uh who work in facebook gaming youtube gaming um twitch i've heard through friends and whatever like the generic offers that have come through each of those platforms my best guess is it was a two-year 20 million dollar it was between two-year 20 million and three-year 35 million dollar like was between two year 20 million and three year 35 million dollar like somewhere in that so if you scale it up that makes different he said you said 65 60 million five year but wait no actually what he said was 60 billion four or five years as if it was no no five years as if it were a 300 million dollar contract no no no no no no no no no total total yeah okay so here's my here's my explanation to why, right?

So there's so many numbers that are being thrown around, but I think we can all agree that Ninja definitely, definitely, definitely, he, and just so you know, this is all speculation, not saying. Yeah, none of us have insider info here. No, no insider info. But he, from a business business perspective he must have had like gotten paid the same amount uh we're talking about ninja uh getting you know

switching over to mixer from twitch we we had some guesses i'll go real quick five years 60 million and tucker you had said between two and three million or two and three years, 20 to 35 million. Yeah. So he must 100% have gotten at least the same amount as what he was making with Twitch, with his donations, with his brand deals, with his endorsements,

with his sponsorships as a minimum guarantee. I don't think that the sponsorships came into that because, because I nevermind. I don't think that the sponsorships came into that because uh because i never mind i don't think that his sponsorships came into that but i agree that everything else like from what he was going to make in there yeah okay um so he must have had at least that number right and a baseline um you know maybe a minimum an average of what he's been making over the last year, over the last year and a half, two years. And then I think it's a longer contract

because he knows, and everybody knows, his relationship with Twitch is fucked right now. Because he made the switch, he's like maybe suing Twitch over what happened with Twitch, like showing adult stuff on his on his Twitch website. Like that bridge is burned. So he couldn't have done it for a year. He couldn't have done it for two years because he knows for a fact that Twitch is Twitch holds grudges and they would not allow him.

Right. So that's why I think the longer contract and then i would say about 10 million a year um jesus or actually a million a month that's generally like the that's i'm right there with you like i agree that if it's a five-year deal your number is probably spot on too my only thing is that i don't think that he made this deal that long in mind because twitch is not the only live streaming platform and i know he had offers from youtube and twitch and facebook and he's already one of the biggest youtubers on the platform already like he could have gone he probably would have gained live

viewers by switching to youtube gaming from like as an exclusive like one in thing but i mean everything i agree with you like it's a great move i i think anybody upset is just an idiot like this is only this is the first time that somebody else buy me out they'll switch over dude right like this is the first time that we've had somebody in the gaming industry truly make like retirement money set for life money i mean you see pro athletes sign these contracts out of high school all the time, but this is the first time we get a person that gets to go, this is fuck you money. It is.

And he's got that security. And well-deserved. Well-deserved, too. Yes, like, out of anyone. And then on the other side, Microsoft, like, he was a Halo pro first and foremost. Halo Master Chief Collection, Halo Infinity, like, these two two games he is going

to be front and center on xbox for everything they do with halo if they want to roll them into minecraft like nin like he he basically went to the only platform that made any sense for him in terms of like building a brand relationship and becoming the spokesperson for that brand he was never going to be the face of youtube i mean he was the face of twitter but there were some other people involved i mean i'm in twitch yeah sorry but like you know you have shroud you have dr distress you have other people that could potentially compete for that title mixer and him and halo and microsoft go so hand in hand it was like the perfect partnership and that's why we're giving them shit let's not forget on microsoft and microsoft's end it was a power move like he what is it ninja contributes to one percent of like twitch's

viewer base yeah or something like that one percent of twitch's yearly numbers came from ninja one percent so that's huge for for mixer to hey, we can get 1% away, take 1% away from our competition for a million a month, which is what we're speculating right now. That's a great deal for a company they really, really want to succeed. And there's a halo effect as well, right? You know, like if I'm an up and coming streamer, maybe I'm a new streamer. I might go to Mixer where there's really only one giant whereas on twitch like how do you get noticed you know i mean you're gonna have you have all this that's like a very good point anybody like i was obviously doing my due diligence reading all

of these mentions about people who like casual fans like what is the lame what does joe think about this is joe gonna switch to mixer and almost all the people were like well i'll go watch ninja i'm a big fan of ninja over there but like everybody plays the same three games it's pub g fortnite and then minecraft and there's nobody playing anything else like if you go to mixer right now like the third like the fifth highest channel has 800 viewers right and if you go even further down we're're talking like 100 viewers. So there's not a lot of shit there that's going to keep a large amount of like viewers coming back. They're going to go for a personality. But Ninja is the perfect one to go because not only does he have that inherent audience, but a lot of his audience, like he is the most quote unquote, like normie of the streamer. Like people know about him, even if you're just a casual Fort, even if you're a mom, you know,

of Ninja. So like this kid who's on Xbox dashboard, sees Ninja pop up and it's like, watch now he'll click on that shit. First time I ever saw Ninja was on CNBC. Really? That was my exposure to him. Yeah.

He's got like, it makes, it makes a lot of sense to me. I think that it was, it was, it's exciting that he was able to do that. It's exciting that somebody was interested enough for that. One thing that's kind of weird is that I didn't see anybody really talking about it. Mixer laid off a lot of employees the month before they hired, they bought Ninja out.

Like a lot of employees. So people don't talk about it. Sorry, that's just a business decision that happens right it's not like they said you know what we're gonna get we want ninja okay how do we do it fire these people now we got him right it's more of like all right quarterly cleanup yearly cleanup uh these guys have been underperforming we gotta even if it was the previous it's not like they told ninja hey we're thinking about bringing you on are you okay with us firing 120 people like usually you get these articles written it's like major game studios closed down and there's

like 40 people looking for jobs but that kind of got brushed under the rug with this whole this whole acquisition so there's another thing i i wonder what it does for fortnite what it does for the environment i i here's like i have my head there was a time when all the call of duty live streaming pros went to the mlg right right and i feel like that ruined cod at least they ruined the competitive scene over there it ruined a lot of the streamers careers they were on twitch pulling numbers and then each shot was one of the biggest channels sure and then they went to mlg and now no one gave a fuck about them anymore and actually no one gave a fuck about the entire cod competitive scene and now it's anyways next to dead no maybe i was looking at through my own lens because i was a call of Duty guy but I feel like going to MLG

killed COD competitive in a way that people don't talk about that ruined it but nobody says that going to MLG killed Halo competitive that was on it's way out before here's the thing there's been three specific instances

where a competing live service has bought up talent. Hitbox, Azubu, and MLG. Each one of those have had several. And Azubu and Hitbox are like four years and six years old or whatever, respectively. For those of us who don't know, what is Azubu and Hitbox? Azubu TV was a competitor. They're both, they're all live streaming. I is azubu and hitbox azubu azubu tv was a competitor they're both they're all live streaming live streaming uh i think azubu ended up buying up the entirety

of clg so see everybody who's streamed from clg from league of legends this is like peak cl like north american league of legends popping off all this stuff and then um uh like hitbox did the same thing buying up organizations or like one game just like mlg did i know that like some people bought themselves out of these contracts but ultimately these sites not mlg but azubu and hitbox folded because they couldn't sustain the amount of money they needed to pay and they weren't getting that money back in ninja's a unique situation here oh i've seen this this um graph it's good article yeah ninja ninja's a unique situation here because first of all mixer's backed by microsoft like they this is not a company that's looking at a 50 million dollar contract or 30 million and they're like well fuck what do we do

in two years and on top of that this is a a person who is literally the only person who has transcended pop culture with gaming ninja is somebody who's not going to lose out on audience who's going to always have that brand recognition at least in the next couple years like there's not a lot of losses that can come here that are going to destabilize the move right ninja's not going to be knocking on somebody's door next year and being like i'm homeless so um i think the times have, but I agree with you that my first gut reaction was like, Oh, here we go again. More, more people being bought off the platform, but it's no different than what Facebook, Facebook did last year or mixer was doing to other people. I got

offered a monthly contract with Facebook too. And it was for a good chunk of money, but it was like me as a smaller creator, weighing my brand being like, if go here it's it's the end of my career so i stream out the end of the contract and then i'm done because i can't go back it's interesting because um epic meal time went to facebook for a while and he was really satisfied with it and there were a couple things that worked well was that that was facebook video facebook video not gaming very different platforms and also their content so shareable so okay actually so let me finish my thought that was one of his positive things one i guess i'll just say it because he said it on the show that uh for the first time in a long time the youtube check wasn't the biggest one to like the epic meal time income and he also said that on facebook like man that thing is just

designed to share with friends on twitch like you don't that's not how people get discovered on youtube also same yeah and youtube is also not yeah so it's funny that you say that because i'm actually working on a new project with uh with mr beast uh i i assume you guys know who MrBeast is? Yes. The guy whose business model is confounding my brain. Every video costs $70,000. No, no, no. I'll explain.

I'll explain that to you in a second. But Jimmy, he's a really great guy. And we stumbled upon the Facebook phenomenon. I enjoy his content. I wasn't digging it. Carry on. And we've been digging into how Facebook video works and whatnot. So we're looking at...

We're not only just setting this up, right? But our plan is to take YouTubers from YouTube, just get their content over to Facebook and post it and share it for them and grow their Facebook page and all we take is like a profit cut so like it's booming business Facebook if you can make it work

but Facebook the downside of this the whole Facebook video thing was they were in a lot of ways caught inflating numbers so you remember like you could get a view i don't know we're getting into like metagaming or yeah scrolling down twitter videos as long as a video would auto play in the time it took you to move your finger to the bottom of the page and move it would count as a view and the ad roll would play i mean shit like it's the

same thing inflating numbers artificially i know know YouTube changed what counts as a view and how many views you could get per IP back in the day. This is all very normal stuff. I feel like it's like Groundhog Day. It's just seven years later with more money. So let me explain to you the beautiful channel of MrBeast, right? Yeah. So because you're saying you don't know how it works. It's very, very simple.

It's ran as a, I wouldn't say a zero profit business like Amazon does it, right? But here's how most YouTubers run their YouTube channel. And I'm kind of in between. So a lot of YouTubers, they do all of it themselves and the paycheck goes to them. Kind of in between. So a lot of YouTubers, they do all of it themselves. And the paycheck goes to them. The entire paycheck, right?

Give it to me. All $37. So then you have another, the next step, right? And that's where I would say I fall under. I would say 90% of the revenue we generate is profit, right? 10% goes to expenses, like an editor, a channel manager, a thumbnail designer, this and that. And obviously, you know, with that 90%, we invest in other stuff like a gaming company, like the Facebook project we're working on and whatnot. So that's how my set of work. Now you have MrBeast.

And once again, don't quote me on these numbers. It is just speculation. Yeah. So he has it flipped the other way around. He spends, he invests 90% back into his company. And if he could, and I know this for a fact, he would invest all his money back into his company, if he could and I know this for a fact he would invest all his money back into his company if not more right but that's just impossible to make the videos as good as possible

but so not only does he spend 10% on editors and actors and his friends you know like he's gonna pay these guys who are in his videos, cameramen, people writing the scripts, people just helping him producing the videos, which is very, very normal because that's what you need if you want to put out content like that. However, his budget per episode is really high. So let's say a video gets 10 million views. You can make anywhere from $20,000 to $80,000 just off AdSense revenue, right?

If you have mid-roll ads. MrBeast gets over 10 million views per video. Then on top of that, think CPM deals, think sponsorships, you know? Just like PGA sponsorships. Cash app, yeah, all that shit. Yeah, Honey pays and Equip pays and these these guys pay so that can be on top of adsense or it can replace adsense and now you're talking once again no quote me

on these numbers could be a hundred thousand dollars so his budget for a video like is if he needs to make a profit he needs to spend less than a hundred grand uh and sometimes it's more right sometimes so that's why these like fifty thousand dollar contest videos seem absurd and the business model seems weird but in reality it's not that weird it's just it's just not like we're not used to minimizing overhead he does the opposite let me jump in the first youtuber to do that sorry go ahead so are you familiar with the game of hearts? Does anyone here know it? Yeah, I know of it. Basically, you're trying not to get any hearts in your hand. That's the deal, right?

So you go around and try to get the hearts out. Hearts is money and taxes you got to pay if you have hearts. So also a better way to win is to get all the hearts. But it's risky as fuck because you can get all the hearts but one. And now you don't have the best hand in the game you've got the worst hand in the game right i'm watching this guy trying it's called shooting the moon trying to shoot the moon right he's gonna invest into the next video invest in the next video he's making 10 million views a video and he's not making a lot of money

and if i'm like his dad i'm like beastie you got a pocket of video or two you know set yourself up a little bit don't do all these have to be so reinvestible do all like but the entire like imagine first first off i think that if you've ever watched any of his like interviews or or anything like there's no way and and we're just using like random numbers here but there's no way that he is sitting here on a razor thin margin where he's going to be homeless of something that like, he is definitely making a profit

and definitely doing great for himself. It is just that he has flipped it on its head where instead of, we grew up in the era of like, how low is my overhead? How much can I not spend? And how much content can I make? That's how Let's Plays and fucking,

you know, like I'm editing myself type deals come around. He has found a way to pay people who are good at what they do enough money that they can continue to do this but also he's going to reinvest a massively disproportionate amount back into the content where you're right maybe he could save 70 grand across three months and make all that money back you know and keep all that money but in reality it's not his brand and he's gotten here because of the way he's there are very few youtubers who are a big deal five years later there's some there's exceptions i'm sure you're thinking of them in your head right now but most of them five years after their peak are done you know they're just there and i agree but but you say that odds are you say that but i've been doing YouTube for five years now.

Well, seven years. I'm still going strong. Right. Well, that's what he's saying. That falls into my point. There are exceptions. That's exactly what I said. I firmly believe that you can look at this. If you just spend maybe like an hour looking through all the stuff that he's doing and the way he's setting it up, you'll understand that he is one of the exceptions and it's rare to be able to look at somebody be like oh this is a long-term thing that probably if not at all will will fall at you

know by the wayside and leave you with nothing like he is setting up a really strong brand if i hope you're right i hope you're right because i really like him right based on that like i only know him through his videos but i really like him and kind of root for him but personally i went through a phase where i I seemed to watch everything he made, and I was just, oh, Mr. Beast is in my suggestions. I'm definitely going to click on that. And I haven't watched a video in the last year or so. I worry that there are more like me out there that just, I don't know,

just the algorithm hasn't given them to me and that it's not going to last forever. But, you know, like, this is somebody who you're looking at, somebody who has literally crested the 1% of the 1% here in terms of, like, video views, whatever. I understand you can just fall off. Like, we all understand that's something that can

happen, but this guy has situated himself in a position where he is like, I don't use this lightly upcoming to the level of a ninja or cutie pie in terms of his cultural impact on the youtube scene like almost every kid that is watching ninja probably knows of mr beast if not because they've already played and done shows together like he's that okayelon. Okay, yeah. His plan is to pass PewDiePie in subs, right? Which sounds insane.

Yeah, he's got a ways to go. With the crazy amount of videos that he's putting out and their quality content. He studies analytics. He has an amazing team. Even if he doesn't make any profit from just his YouTube channel, which he's spending hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars on every month,

with the knowledge that he's acquired throughout the years, because the thumbnail you see, it's not just a random picture. It's all thought of. Every single bit, every keyword in the title, the way it's all thought of every single bit every keyword in the title the way it's framed with all the knowledge that he's acquired over the years from that and him and his team they have been able to set up other channels right so he has a second channel which is doing probably better than 90 of like full-time main channels, and all that money, he's not investing right back into the videos.

That's just chilling, like, in the bank account or whatever, right? Yeah. Or he's feeding that money back into his main channel, right? So it's not like, if you're taking it on, like, if you look at it, if you just look at the surface, right? Like, he's well off. He has, you know, he's living great. Let's just say that.

You know, he's making money. And even if he's investing all his money into the company right now, for many, many companies, that's very normal. That's what Amazon does, right? They make sure that they don't make any profit every year so they don't have to pay taxes because they're just injecting all that money right back into growing the company.

And at the end of the day, Amazon is the biggest company in the world. And that's Mr. Beast's mindset. He wants to be the biggest YouTuber in the world, so he's doing whatever it takes to get there, right? And that's a new way of thinking about it which is not only that but he and you know we talk about like his per video span let's say his per video spend it's a hundred grand right even if it was a hundred grand this last month he made he he got 307 million views last month right so even if you made a video every day at at that money like in two months you've recouped it like he he's making that's that math is wrong by the way. But like what I'm saying is like,

you could spend so much money, like, like an absurd amount of money, money that he's not spending. And, and we're talking like, he's like everything past that point is profit. Now the long tail views on these,

like they don't really drop off. It's hard. If you're getting 2 million views per day in long tail,'s like that's like a normal youtuber's like month like half month week whatever he's he's got a long-term plan where even if shit just dies tomorrow he's going to be living upper echelon for two three years just off of residuals so it's a very interesting model and i think that out of anyone that's like tried to do like change the game up he is one of the few people that like very much has done it in an interesting but also calculated and like really well done way it's it's so so a lot of youtubers

they're running their youtube business as an artist right so they're like okay i'm a musician but i'm actually a YouTuber. I'm the only person working on this. I might have a manager and all the money goes to me, which is the completely wrong. Like, that's not how you should look at a YouTube channel or at least how I say look at it from a business business point of view. Right. So think about it as a hotel or a like a coffee shop whatever now if your coffee shop is making a hundred thousand dollars profit every month you're not just gonna sit on that you're gonna say all right we need to get a bigger coffee shop we need to get more employees maybe we should open up a new coffee open up two new places, three new places. So you see, hey, I'm making a lot of profit.

Instead, let's start spending that money on another thing. You guys are acting like it's business genius to not turn a profit. And you're like, look at Amazon. They don't turn profits. And look at these other – I live to the dot com. Hold on. I let you talk for like 30 minutes. There are plenty of dot com companies where people left without money, right?

Everybody went belly up because they weren't focused on profits. I find businesses super interesting, and I watch them all the time. And I'm not saying it's bad to be a home run hitter. I think it's neat. You know, when guys are like, yeah, I'm just going to fucking swing for the stars. Reinvest, reinvest. Fuck profits. I don't give a fuck about profits, I'm just going to fucking swing for the stars. Reinvest, reinvest. Fuck profits. I don't give a fuck about profits.

I'm going to put it in for tomorrow. And tomorrow's hypothetical profits will be way bigger. Hold on. You went for an hour. He's still making profits. Yeah, but you're – no. Yeah, but they're making absurd profits even if you don't see – like he's making millions. We flipped the 90-10 thing.

All right. Maybe he is. But I saw his – I've seen him interview, like he's making 90 thing. All right. Maybe he is. But yes, you know, I saw his, I've seen him interview and he said he wasn't, you know, you're saying he is, he's saying he's not,

I don't know where the truth is, but I find it interesting that he keeps swinging for like deeper, long balls and deeper, long balls. And I'm like, man, pocket one of these pocket. One of these,

you've got, there's a bird in the hand and two in the bush. And I just love to see him take the guarantee right now. You know, like get something that changes the rest of your life. If he could just bank 5 million or something, then that would give him like a level of security. I don't know that he's going to be popular in 2020. What if in 2020 he's rich and they find out he drives a tesla model whatever the good one is and he's no longer interested in breaking up 50 000 pennies in some guy's backyard because

that's just not appealing to him for the kind of cat i don't know but how many guys have we seen where they're like oh you're not the same you're not the same is like every youtuber and save one percent of them past five years so once again fair point and that's why he's branching out right that's why he has a second channel that's why me and him are looking at facebook stuff right now because he knows and i know and everybody knows like you're not going to be famous forever you're not going to be a pop star forever. So now it's like, let's use everything we've built up over the years, all our connections, all our knowledge of making videos and all of these things to let's leverage that and create a new business that doesn't run on popularity of, you know, your face. But then again, like, he's good.

He's not poor. Yeah, good. I don't want him to be poor. I really like him. Yeah. I just, I find him fascinating, the way that he's running his YouTube channel like a dot-com business.

You know, he's focused on growth and not profits. And some of those dot-com businesses went on to be Amazon. Most of them didn't. but i yeah i mean i feel like we're beating a dead horse yeah okay like it's just you know i just like i i firmly believe that he is probably the amazon in this scenario and you know and the many multitudes of people that we both can think of that have fallen by the wayside did not in any way shape or form have the same level of investment thought process whatever even info to get to that point but yeah like who knows maybe maybe he will maybe he won't yeah yeah aol looked like the king at one point they were the biggest winner around you know you're right so but anyway mr beast if you catch this one i'm rooting for you

two put some money in your pocket please please. I want you to be rich. My take is I like the video where he drops big rocks on his friend's car. One second. One second. One second. Sorry, I was going to mess it up. What did you do? Why are you doing this? We brought in Mr. Beast.

He said he's down to join in 20 minutes. In 20 minutes. Let's bring him on then. We can ask him about more things i he's big enough he's probably not interested in my usual slew of topics yeah right mr beast what how do you feel about prison rate did you tell him about okay yeah yeah he what so he i i told him because i talked to him about the PKA. Yeah, yeah. So I told him because I talked to him about it in the past. He says, I used to listen to every episode.

He's watched a few of the ones that I was in. He changed, man. Just kidding. I said, their big fans want to jump in for like five minutes. And then he said, sure. But he's an important call right now. He'll join in 20 minutes. Guys, this is going to be the best PKA episode of PKA.

Fuck Kyle, dude. No, don't say that. That doesn't come out right. No, no, no. Don't say fuck Kyle. Nobody's ever said that. We say that when he's here. It's different.

Now it's I hope Kyle doesn't get fucked in prison. You're right yeah oh well that's that's cool it's funny like i haven't been on pka forever but it's been like over five years now or some shit but like i always forget like a lot of these huge youtubers now like they watched this show for a long time like i used to watch it yeah i i used to watch it before i was on way back in the day like episodes like 12 i would argue that there's almost like a wings thing where like the fame is even bigger than the numbers you know like like everyone knows of pka even if they're not currently watching it they've they've heard of it there's so many people so many

youtubers and then they're like i'm like oh're like, who did you used to watch back in the day? I'm like, you know, Hutch, CNNers, Woody's Gamer Tag. And they're like, no way, me too. Did you used to watch BKA? And I'm like, yeah, I'm sometimes on it still. They're like, oh, no way. The podcast is still going. It's still going.

I'm like, yeah, it's like 452. Yeah. There's PKN, which is this one for patrons. Shout out to the patrons. Thank you. That's on like 250, 260, something like that. So they're on the episode like 700 put together. I'm kind of proud of that.

Like most podcasts are in their teens or 50s or something like that. To be at 700. That's a lot. Yeah, it's a thing. I've been on long enough to take a lot of credit, I think. Woody's all nervous right now. Woody is all about, oh, did he join? Did my favorite YouTuber join?

Oh, Mr. Beast. Mr. Beast. I root for him, that's all. I just want him to thrive. I don't know i i root for him that's all i just want him to to thrive i don't know i root for everybody yeah you i mean you can tell him soon hopefully if you can join that'd be great that'd be hilarious so who else uh tucker do you want to add ninja to the call too while we're at it yeah yeah yeah yeah uh i have him on fortnite but not on discord uh let's see i'll get lyric in here maybe i'll get dr disrespectful just have like this weird trifecta dude dr just i wonder if i've got like a i had no idea how big of a deal he was because i don't

follow twitch or do i've never really watched streaming or anything and it was only like a year ago that i like saw a tweet from him or something and i was like i remember this guy when he was making those silly videos he had like i remember when i had more subs than him yeah i was like man this guy puts a lot more effort into his videos than i put into mine this doesn't seem fair and it's paid off like he i gave him a million twitter followers he's huge He's one of the biggest on Twitch, right? Doc, Doc. So, yeah, he is, I would say, in terms of just a general brand, he was second to Ninja in terms of things that can go outside of the Twitch world.

So now he's the biggest. Yeah, so now he is the biggest on Twitch. He's bigger than Shroud? I think Shroud may have larger viewership numbers but in terms of like what you can do with shroud's brand versus what you can do with doc's brand and i hate this all these conversations with the word like brand and what you can do with xyz are very subjective but doc is somebody you could put in a satirical talk show and it's natural like i i love shroud fucking great guy but like you can't

you can't use him in the same way that you can use doc and almost everything like right if you make a mountain dew concert or i'm i mean to say commercial with shroud yeah a lot of you know it's like okay but if doc's like you want to be the? And he starts drooling on himself. Like, great. Like, that works. It makes sense. Two-time blockbuster champion. Yeah, Doc is and always has been one of my favorite creatives. When, Taylor, you mentioned that you used to have more subs. When he had 300 subs, he messaged me on YouTube and was like, hey, man,

I'm trying to get a machinima partnership, just trying to get some tips. So I started going back and forth with him. him this is like he didn't even make gameplay videos it was like long eight minute cinematic videos of him like talking about how he was better than everyone in his like apartment complex and i was just like this guy's ahead of the fucking curve leaves go to act activision to make maps for call of duty and then comes out and he does the same shtick but it was just like now's the right time to do so i didn't so back in the day and i guess i'm still holding on to it i didn't like him so i have a different experience he used to shit on me all the time he'd write these like super long facebook posts about how much he hated everything i do

and it's like why like i i didn't do anything to him. We both, I went for a job as community manager at Sledgehammer. And then I found out they had already hired Doc. And some of my subs were fussing at him. And I was like, guys, it's not his fault. He didn't do anything wrong. Like, he didn't take the job from me. They had already hired him when I put out my, like, you know. I thought I could do a really good job and do community manager in a way that no one had done it before.

Like I thought it would be cool for both the game and for me and everything. But anyway, he got that job. And I don't know. He just shit on me all the time. I also didn't like that he shit on XJaws so much. XJaws was a 16-year-old kid. And he was doing like schticks about him and sort of making fun of XJaws. And I thought it was wrong for an adult to pick on a kid like that so uh yeah i don't know that's still the lens i see

him through yeah um he i i you know not like he's a better man now you know all know what i'm talking about you know like that's who he is i thought that video of his cameraman filming people in the bathroom was so funny so that was good content i was there when he came out of that bathroom and i was on his stream i mean i didn't say anything i was like he's doing his thing and then right after i went into the bathroom because i had to take a piss. And then people are like, oh, you know, he was filming people and whatnot. It's it's it's like sloppy. But then again, Twitch is trigger happy. When we first heard about that, I was like, I was probably a like, I don't know, an accident or whatever.

He went into four bathrooms and did that repeatedly. Like, OK, OK, OK okay all right here we go i believe that intent matters and i don't believe in any way shape or form he was like i gotta walk in here and let's film me peeing and get close to people his camera person who out did really encroach on her if i had seen the camera i'd be like what the fuck are you doing right intent matters there is nothing malicious behind it does that change the fact that he broke california state law no does it like like but i would have shown him my cock and got the stream single one of those people to my knowledge not a single one of those people that were in the

affected clips did anything to pursue any legal action there now i know that that's a tough ask and that like there's a whole lot of stuff behind that but i think in general most sane people recognize this as a severe lapse in judgment which i know gets thrown around a lot but it was um and in no way was like in a malicious i kept seeing people be like there was a minor in the bathroom all right well fuck he wasn't like i gotta go film me a child peeing like he wasn't like that was never the intent it did happen so there are ramifications if somebody does want to press charges but much like if you get into an accident and you both are like that sucks like

that's the way it goes it doesn't mean you're not right or you're not wrong but it's completely right and i'm coming at this as a guy who doesn't like dr disrespect it was a lapse in judgment but it wasn't an accident right like at first i thought it was like an accident almost you don't have that accident four times right instead it was a lapse in judgment i yes but he wasn't trying to make kiddie porn either. Right. I like that distinction. It was not an accident, but it was a lapse in judgment. An accident is something that happens one time, and you're like, oh, I know better. Lapse in judgment is like, fuck. Did you hear about the Twitch conspiracy?

Oh, which one? No. Do I hear it? Here's one of the conspiracies I read. And once again, this is not a fact. Okay. I love conspiracies. Go for it. I'll believe anything. We should talk about Epstein later. Oh! Twitch has always

been like, you know, crucified for not banning like their favorite streamers and, you know, Alinity is one of many. And you know, something like that was happening and then doc got banned and people are saying that the reason he got banned was because you know twitch set this all up with him and he on purpose went into the bathroom film this type of stuff so twitch was like you see we even banned one of our biggest

guys for for breaking the rules no don't take it uh it's the california state wall that makes me not buy into it yeah that was that is one of those things i think that the better conspiracy that i heard was people were like oh he totally did this so he would get banned from twitch so he could switch to mixer and i was like no you are fucking, like a bunch of kids. I love the internet. Let's ruin our bargaining position first. But I swear to God, like some people are just out there

just like drooling on themselves like, but what if he did it like this? What if he's like, did you think maybe for a second that this multi-billion dollar company was going to be like, probably not good for the brand. This was set up beforehand for me to go in there and get child get child penis listen to me now you may think this is crazy i was right about epstein as well

he's going in there to get film of a child's dick which is trying to parlay themselves into you know porn's already covered but child porn that's right around the corner they're gonna try to make themselves the most esteemed child porn establishment out there. Now, you laugh all you want about my neck-thickening salve and all of my products, but this is correct. That's what I think. So speaking of multi-billions, how do you say his name? Epstein? Epstein.

Jeffrey Epstein. You said it differently both times Tucker if we're jumping into something else I want to get the last add in before Mr. Beast jumps in let me get this this is from our good friends at postmates.com

code PKA this is a damn shame because Kyle is almost solely responsible for keeping them in business with how much he orders from Postmates. It's honestly ludicrous. This episode of PKA is brought to you by a company we have lots of personal experience with, Postmates. You know what's great about eating your favorite thing? It's your favorite thing, and you're eating it.

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You can even see where your food is and track the driver. You forgot the eggs and milk? No problem. Craving a tasty burger? Check. We'll see you next time. seven days to start your free deliveries. Download the app today and use code PKA. That's code PKA for $100 of free delivery credit for your first seven days. Save the hassle and get the food you love fast at Postmates with code PKA. Check them out. Check them out. Kyle should be here.

Kyle always gives a heartfelt Postmates success story. If it weren't for Postmates, Kyle wouldn't have to worry about prison because he already would have starved to death. He would have not. He has an aversion to going out to the store. No, no, no, no. He actually is in prison because he Postmated weed.

Oh, shit. I don't even know if we could – let's not even talk about that. You can't do that. Oh, yeah. He's already in – you can't do that with Postmates. Postmates is an upstanding company that we love and they're great and they don't do that right and my slander is a no way shape or form a reflection on pk it'd be so funny if you got us in trouble turnabout is fair play before mr beast comes on chis wanted me to to stress because sometimes he gets a little hatery from people is that he has

worked to get mr beast on the show so if were going to go to Chiz and be like, hey, you should have got him on earlier. Chiz has been trying. So Chiz needs him. Everyone's so excited about Mr. Beast. I feel like I'm not properly worshiping this upcoming moment. Like if you were to tell me some hot boy band was on or K-pop star, I would be in the same position.

He's just a cool guy with an interesting mindset. And, and, and he's a breath of fresh air, you know, like a spritz of, of interesting business mentality. Like the new Nanny Light spritzer cans.

This PK is also brought to you by Nanny Light Seltzer. No, what we do talk about is, did you see Four Locos hard seltzer response? I didn't even know they made a hard seltzer. Please lay out the whole background. I don't know anything. Let me tell you.

Everybody knows White Claws, right? No. Don't assume that. All right. So White Claw is the current brand, the beverage of the summer. It is a quote-unquote affordable 12-pack of hard seltzer. So 5% alcohol by volume 100 calories no added sugars two carbs like very lean it is the perfect beverage for becky and chad right you

know right it's it's i do like them they're fine they come in flavors like black cherry lime like what grapefruit right they're they're good i drink vodka water so keep in mind that like i don't really care but they are fine um white claws boomed and uh like companies like truly or celsius have popped up as like kind of like mimicky basically lean low carb low calorie alcoholic replacements whatever so four loco tweets two days ago, and it's like, we walked so hard seltzer can fly. And they have,

they have announced their, their version of the hard seltzer, which is, you know, seltzer water, but it's 14% alcohol by volume, not 5% doesn't make anything under 12%. So they post this can and,

and they have since been going like doing social media incredibly well memes whatever but i need to get me a cup of this fuck up right now like i need to get me a hard seltzer from four loco and see if i can black out in one and a half cans it just seems that's like drinking a bottle of wine yes but like so i when i hit college right at the right time where we had the good caffeinated for loco people were dying on this shit version and so that's what i remember yo the good stuff if you could die on it you're good to go and so i'm thinking to myself like man this is what i'm talking about like this is this is this is the perfect time where everybody

used to joke like we're gonna to die because of Four Loko, but nobody thought that it would come eight years later when Four Loko was a thing of the past. I don't know anybody who's drank Four Loko in the last five years. I mean, we would drink Four Loko end of high school because you could get one, and this was before the change

where people were like, the FDA probably had to come in i think they actually did and they're like you can't you can't put three cups of coffee worth of caffeine and six beers worth of alcohol in this can people are dying not allowed like like drinking those as a fucking like 17 18 old, the ones with all the caffeine and being like just a kind of drunk I'll never experience again. It makes Red Bull and vodkas look like bitch juice. It was so caffeinated.

For $5 in a can. It is irresponsible to sell something like that. Like it is true. Like I can't even buy like a little Mickey of my budget plastic bottle vodka, but you somehow concoct. I'm convinced there was somebody grinding up Adderall and putting it in that can.

They're like, this will do right. Have I ever told you guys about my friend that tried to start an alcohol company? No. He's a young guy. He graduated with an MBA from University of Texas, so he's fresh out of that environment, and he decides to make jello

shots that you can buy. This might exist now. I don't know, but I've seen him. Yeah, he like he had to hire a chemist. There was no such thing as jello at room temperature at the time. It would turn to liquid, right? That's a jello does and they made a room temperature jello that existed and he

be like he invented jello shots, but that didn't need refrigeration and that could be sold at liquor stores and stuff like that so he gets it all done and then he starts like trying to get um alcohol tobacco and fire like i guess atf approval and they shoot it down for something stupid like font size on a warning or something so he fixes that and then goes back and they shoot it down for something stupid again, shoot it down for something stupid again. And it's like the color, the packaging, the cartoon watermelon, we don't like that.

They just kept, and eventually he reaches out to me. He's like, what is going on here? Like every time, can you just give me the full list of things you want changed so that I can do that and then we'll go live with the product. And they're like, no, no no our plan is to give you a one by one thing until you quit we think that minors will love your jello shots that that's your intended audience and you'll never get past this yeah it is the hardest business to get into

besides perfume and makeup like like the alcohol business is so cutthroat in terms of like what you need to do marketing wise because realistically like profit margins are incredible for the for these companies. So, you know, you like I personally would love to start a a vodka water business. There's one that exists, only one. It's called Purist Still. It's not it's it's only in Delaware and it's not very widely distributed. But like there's a need for, or not a need, there's a desire to jump into alcohol. Everybody's like, oh, how do I do this?

Realistically, the only way you get in is with wine or beer. Doing hard alcohol is the hardest thing in the world. So it kind of makes sense. The man was holding him down. All he wanted to do was sell Jell- i'm sure to adults and nobody hard alcohol is like selling selling retail hard alcohol like so much of it is just packaging and presentation like the way like people don't want a uh i saw i was at the store the other day and i was walking through the liquor aisle to get beer because it was like opposite sides. And there was like a new whiskey, but it was just packaged in a wine bottle.

And I was like, you guys are going to die on the vine. You're fucked. So how are you supposed to compete against like even like something as iconic as Jack Daniels that doesn't count because they have legacy but like you see like hypnotic and all these really really nice looking liquor bottles like a lot of what people look at when they're purchasing liquor is

bottle I don't care how good your liquor is if it's in a plastic bottle fuck you if it's in a plastic bottle you don't want it because I mean we loved Crystal Palace and Popov and all those guys back in the day. Burnett's, let's go.

Burnett's Pink Lemonade. That was so big. So popular. I think if I had some of that now, my tooth would fall out and I'd die. Yeah. That was the only liquor I've ever drank with the next morning. I'm like like my teeth ache like the amount of sugar that is just in there if you got it cold it became just a viscous

non-newtonian fluid so non-newtonian so true but it was 13 for a handle and you couldn't beat it oh yeah yeah oh god i'm so glad that that I make enough money to not buy that anymore. Now my alcoholism is rampant on expensive liquor, like New Amsterdam. And cool-ass, smooth-mold, or whatever beer you drink. New Amsterdam is very bottom mid-tier. I stopped drinking a year and a half ago. Congratulations.

No alcohol for me. It's not like I had a severe problem it was more no didn't like the hangovers and stylistically yeah i was just like yeah let's stop drinking start working out you know get the nice was a lot of it was a lot of it fitness driven where you were like i'm not getting the games i want fuck Fuck liquid calories. Yeah, I was fairly skinny, and I was trying to put on weight, and then I was going out partying, which I still do,

but just drinking, and I'm a super lightweight, so I got drunk after two, three drinks, puking all the time. At one point, I puked so hard, my eye got like a vein popped, and it was like hell. My eye was all red jesus um

and uh and then this one time i went to this uh this like a brand deal in a different country and um they fed me so much alcohol there and then i just completely embarrassed myself puking in front of like the agent who got me there and whatnot and I'm like oh no now it's a whole bar here we didn't have to drink it no no no so now I was like it's really interfering with my business or and for my point of from my point of view at least um I ended up still doing business with them afterwards so it didn't ruin the relationship but I was just like, imagine this, like these guys weren't that cool about it and it would have happened to

someone else, like with someone else. Um, yeah. So I made the decision. You made the adult decision. And then, you know,

I wasn't able to work out the day after and I would just feel like shit. And, and you know, it stops muscle growth and whatever. Oh yeah. That's the thing for me. I'm like not gaining anything from being drunk. Alcohol stops muscle growth? Well it stops muscle

growth in that like if you're hungover you're not going to work out or you're not going to be able to work out as hard or you're not going to be able to. You're probably going to make mistakes with eating while you're drinking. Maybe you go for a $5 hot and ready pizza instead of the salmon filet that you bought and so it just sets you back not ever do anything positive for your for your body like nobody has ever drank heavily and been like you know ever since i started drinking heavily yeah

like i'm just i feel so much better like that's joke the neck pain is gone my wife loves me and you know I just feel great in the mornings are you tired of being addicted to opium because there's a there's an over the counter solution for your depression

get yourself a keg we got two kegs right here wait wait I stopped drinking is that Bailey's We got two kegs right here. Wait, wait. I stopped drinking it. Yeah. Is that Bailey's? I don't know what it is.

Prosecco? It's one of my favorite drinks in the world. Prosecco. Isn't that like an Italian meat? Listen, look. Prosecco was sent to me by Plain Nose Battlegrounds. It's one of the favorite. Just love that room temperature Prosecco.

I don't drink. It's just there for the looks. I know, yeah. Prosecco is basically like a fizzy, fizzy light white wine. Not quite champagne, but still fizzy. I don't like wine very much. I like all. I love wine. I love champagne.

I love wine. I love vodka. i love whiskey i like alcohol it's great i'm the trashiest drinker in what i like i like bud select because it's 99 calories a can is that everywhere does everybody have bud select no i i'm if i'm out at like a um if i'm out at like a music festival and there's like a 10 hour day in front of me i strictly drink light beer or like vodka shot. Like I just, I,

what do you want me to do? Drink heavy beers for nine hours. Like I'm going to die. Like, no, give me the 99 calorie 4% bullshit. Let me just suck those waters down. And like,

we're good for 10 hours, but I can't, I don't know the people who are like, they get to the club or something. Like I'm here for four hours. Need two rebel vodkas. It's like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, settle down. That was me.

The worst is like, this happened to me just a few weeks ago. I was out with friends at a brewery restaurant where they're like, we make all our own beer. And it was like, oh, neat. And I was reading through the description things and I saw one and it didn't have that much like, it said what kind of beer it

was like belgian something and i just assumed a lighter beer like of heifer wizen or hefeweizen and then pilsner and i picked grass and you're like what the fuck and i i even like i like most ipas too as long as it's not like too strong as long as it's like not one of those nine percent retardedly like like a wine beer but i was that's this is that's what i was drinking the yeah i don't like those very much it's too too strong but i ordered a beer and it was like a seven dollar beer and it shows up and it's as dark as quebel cop shirt and i'm like black well i can't immediately send it back you can power through at least. Let's get through some of this.

And I muscled down like half of it over the course of the next like 25 minutes and everybody at the table is like, Taylor, you don't like your beer? And I'm like, no, I actually really don't like it. I'm going to send it back and get something different. And so they came back and I was like, you can just take the whole thing and bring me something light. Just bring me a fucking Bud Light. Just a light, crisp, refreshing beer.

People who shit on light beers flavor, it's like you can't see the forest for the trees, you retard. That's what I'm saying. I'm not drinking it for the flavor. I'm drinking it because it's crisp and cold and refreshing. Yeah, it's like I love my IPA. I love good beer. But like I said, you get into a situation where if I'm on the beach the last thing i want is to drink a grass incarnate in a bottle right like i want to lay down and give me the coldest thing that is as close to water but has a little alcohol in it

that's where white claw comes in and that's why it's so good i was just at the beach last week and the only thing we brought to the beach were white claws yeah and you're just like fuck oh this is great huh who knew apparently white people like white what you know what la croix is or like like like la croix like those yeah i've never had one but i'm familiar with it it's just that with five percent alcohol literally that and it tastes barely like alcohol at all you you really would not think to yourself this this has alcohol in it you'd just be like this is shitty fizzy water yeah even with your like sensitive palate to it woody if you would get through half a can before you realized it was alcohol really yeah yeah it is truly the last two or three years i don't think i've had any alcohol off the show. It's just drinking episodes. Oh, off the show. Yeah.

When's the last time you had a drink not because of a drinking episode? Like a fancy dinner or something? I don't recall. Really? Yeah. You don't have a glass of wine with dinner sometimes? Zero times. There's not even alcohol in this house.

I don't think. Wow. What about the kids? What about the kids? No, the kids are so young. Well, Colin, no. Hope's in college, so I have to assume she goes to parties now and then. Holy shit, she's in college?

She's a junior. She just went back yesterday. Jesus Christ, what the fuck? I'm wise. Oh, man. When I think about Colin, I'm still like, yeah, that seven-year-old rambunctious lad. That's what I'm thinking, too. I'm like, hey, they're all kids.

You know what happens all the time now? Like, he'll walk around and Jack will be like, stand next to your father. I'm not taller yet, but it's coming. He's almost taller than me. What's that like as a dad? Are you like, give him hell, son. Don't stop at me. Keep forward your head.

Or are you like, I hope I kind of win. Oh, no, no. Definitely the first. We were talking about this a little before. What I said was my kids have full license to be taller, better looking, richer, all those things. Knock yourself out. That's a good dad.

Do you guys want to have kids at some point? Tucker? I think right now, if I had a kid in the next 10 years, it would greatly derail my enjoyment in life and the things that I want to do. How old are you? 26. Okay.

Right, right, right. Still gives me some headroom. Not to say that I don't think having a kid would be a fulfilling experience or something that I don't want, but currently my mentality is dink double income no kids you know that like just yeah you know have fun i don't really need to and and if if we get to the point where like you know i'm like 50 and we want a child like adopt my sister's

adopted so i have like some uh 50 experience you should adopt like a 17 year old so you'll be done raising them at 51 you know my dad's 66 and we had and my sister is 18 so he so we adopted uh my sister when he was 47 so like that gives me 21 years to even get to the point where where we were at when my sister got brought into the family so i I'm not like, that's a long time. So much can change. But right now and in the next 10 years, no thanks. I'm good. Like, I don't need, I don't want that.

I just wouldn't want to do it so late that I was like that old dad who couldn't get down on the floor or like go play hockey with them or basketball in the driveway or whatever. Like, I'd still want to be able to do that shit. My dad was definitely the oldest dad, but it never really affected, like nobody, there was one other kid who had an older dad and we called him the dilf because he was literally like 72 years old but he was like no like there was never like a you wanted to fuck a 72 year old no no that was a joke there's a make there's this kid in high school

that we that we used to i don't know why we did this we just be like ha ha you were an accident you you were totally an accident we'd make fun of him for that he'd be like shut up guys no i wasn't i was playing it's like your dad's 75 and you're 15 your dad's not even your dad no at this point he's probably that kid i think it's probably 26 by now which means his dad is fucking it's probably mid 80s one thing that i had in my head was that i didn't think i could retire this it might be wrong but i was like i think i can't retire before my youngest is like 24 like if you intend to play for college, pay for college like I always hope to. Then I was like, you know, give yourself two years after that.

Kids got to be 24. So if I have my last kid, I'll make 40. Then I won't be able to retire until I'm 64. That doesn't line up with my goals. I used to hope for twins and shit, like just to fast forward that process. 65 is the generic generic like your retiring age i understand that's changing yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah not for our generation yeah but no no also if you i'm working till i'm dead if you retire at 65 like you what are you gonna do you can't

do anything like if you want to retire retire i disagree run around jack be gonna go one of those vr machines when i'm 65. That's 40 years. Get it right. Get me in there. I'm never leaving. All day, I guess. No, when I'm retired, I'm going to go around and say racial epithets loudly and no one can stop me. What if you retire at 40?

That'll be awkward. Well... He's really, really racist charlottesville i saw him send a work email after he said that he's not nearly as crazy as yeah i don't know like i don't i'm i'm definitely in the um like you're technically retired yeah i say semi-retired, but yeah. Right. So what I'm saying is I think that for the vast majority of people in our generation,

my generation at our age, I think I will always be semi-retired until the point where I'm in hospice. Like there's, you know, I have a couple free days off with family. And by the third day, I'm like, I'm fucking bored, guys. There's a beach. I've been on it. I'm done. I want to go do something. Like, I'm tired of this. So, like, the end goal here for me is not the traditional, I have nothing to do retirement so much as it is, like, I'm set up for whatever I would like to do within the realms of reality. Like, if I want to retire. Wouldn't you just want to have fun, right?

That's what I mean. Like, if I want to have fun, I need to have the funds to do that. Retirement is just, I have enough funds to have fun, right? That's what I mean. If I want to have fun, I need to have the funds to do that. Retirement is just I have enough funds to have fun, period. You got to get super into a hobby or something. Let's say you guys, as soon as you've gotten enough, you're comfortable. Yeah. I mean, okay, fair enough. But not that one.

Let's say you guys retire and you can't get another job. Nothing to make money right what is your hobby or two or three hobbies that you throw yourself into okay video games tons of video games that's gonna be like 90 of my time at reading books uh going out for the movies hanging out with friends hitting the gym if you can still i mean sure yeah uh just traveling exploring the world painting learning new stuff like there's so much there's a lot of shit you can do watching everything on netflix watching all these new animes or old animes we can never run out I'm so ready no

I've never watched an anime I'm like I've gotta watch this anime get out of here we gotta wipe your butt no but Naruto is about to it's Shippuden 7 it's perfect it's Boruto shippuden

what's a good anime to watch I've never watched any anime other than pokemon when I was little what are you interested in here's my anime list for anybody new to anime so I think one of the best animes

is one punch man that was a great thing to join into. We just started anime talk. Yeah, we're talking about anime. Oh, perfect. Is my mic audio shit? It sounds fine. Your audio is good.

I don't see video. Do you have a video, Jimmy? I'm literally on my Mac. I did not plan on joining this. Weird flex, bro. Come on. Come on. It's over here. all right guys so so

this is mr beast for everybody who doesn't know yes um who's listening i wasn't familiar with your content until 35 minutes ago when they started talking about it and i watched a video of you dropping rocks on your friends cars and so And so I give you two thumbs up so far. Thank you. Yeah, that's basically the gist. Money. I just find my friends, I get their cars,

and I drop heavy shit on it. And then we repeat ad nauseum forever. You know what's a funnier sequel to that video is destroying my friends' cars and not buying them a new one. Or destroying my friends' cars, buying them a new one, and then destroying their new ones and buying them a new one or destroying my friends cars buying them a new one and then destroying their new ones and buying a new one it's infinite content yeah well so fun fact i used to listen to pk all the time uh back obviously when call of duty was relevant i would play zombies like solo and get to like 40 50 rounds and i would just literally

listen to pk the whole time and like i'd only pause just to throw on another episode nice yeah i used to do the same thing before before they invited me to be on the show where i just listened to them to wings and them say ridiculous shit it was a good time we were talking earlier like it's funny like all these huge guys like you and queb came up listening to this why didn't you say yes shit and tucker and what is this slander yeah it's good good to have you on man i thank you i don't know enough uh to even ask about what you're doing but it seems like you put a ton of money i want to suck you guys off a little more hell yeah oh yeah literally watch all of your videos like no joke i used to

obsess over your channel when i was way younger me you're saying yeah yo yo woody quickly lecture caps i'm working on the layout that's a joke from earlier don't worry like i remember that dog color video and um bunch of other ones but no i used to like mail monday and all that stuff i used to watch it pretty religiously super cool man hey when you weren't here we were talking about your business model okay are you rich yet dude i feel I feel like you could bank that. You could get rich real quick and lock that in. Oh, fuck off. Ham-handed. Dude, ham-handed is good content.

It's funny. I just got off an hour and 45-minute call where I was discussing my business structure with some people because we're doing some more hires. Not really. I'm still constantly worrying about money because i'm spending stupid amounts and you know my monthly bills and everything are high but um

yeah i don't i don't really know how to answer that kind yes by a normal guy's standards i have more money than ever but i mean i also blow through some months like half a million dollars so it like could deplete quickly you know it's amazing i do too but i'm on cocaine and i'm joking okay i got over that i don't know i got over the i'm just now starting your steps i dabble in cocaine i'm a weekend user i don't do podcasts too much i want to to joke about doing jokes, but then someone's going to take it too far. Listen, we're three hours, 30 minutes

in. Nobody's listening. No press is listening right now. Put all the terrible stuff out of the way up front. If I've survived 14 episodes of this podcast, I feel like you're going to be alright. We're towards the end here. The trick is to be

totally irrelevant and have nobody give a fuck who you are that's my approach dude we used to do highlight videos where we take like well what i thought were some of the funniest bits of content and you know put it out there is in isolation and we had to stop because some of our jokes are better buried three hours into the show. Because they just kind of get tired of watching too, so the jokes are actually really funny if you watch it, but if you just get them on their own, they're like, you know, not tired, so it's just like, eh, that's alright.

Yeah, for sure. Wait, we were talking about anime and I really wanted to hear Quebel's suggestion. Yes, okay, so here are my... Okay, so here are my you actually okay yes i care about anime suggestions and anybody feel free to chip in and and and shoot it off i don't know anything about it so i would say for a guy you know if you if you if you know

you like fighting and stuff like that you're interested in it. One Punch Man Season 1 is an amazing introduction to anime. It's simple. You don't have to get all the jokes, but the fighting is amazing. The fights are great. The animation style is great. The music is really, really good. And the comedy is really funny too. What do you guys think?

Okay. I think that that is a good second or third anime because the whole premise of the show is you gotta you gotta know yes yes yes let me interject i yes actually more boring than like if you watch a lot of anime it's it comes off pretty good but i've had lots of friends where i've been like yo watch one punch man and then get into anime and they're always like bored by the second episode i don't know if you remember like that he fights the lobster guy and like yeah the first few episodes are dragged out but if you watch anime you know like okay it's gonna get good but to normal people they're already every full mental alchemist brotherhood now because that's the

correct one full mental alchemist brotherhood full mental alchemist brotherhood there you go correct answer i just started re-watching for the third time full metal alchemist Brotherhood. Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood. There you go. You said the correct answer. I just started re-watching for the third time. Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood is the one that you start with. Man, I was almost crying at the end. My girlfriend cried ten times. I haven't even watched that yet.

Oh my god, Jimmy. What's the one where they have the modern Japanese army against the ancient Japanese army? Steins Gate? No no is that a gate no it's something with a gate right what do you guys suggested stargate yeah are you talking about the one where there's a portal and it goes back in time it's the one we watch clips of it on the show where it's like a bunch of ancient japanese guys being like we will get them with this assault and then they start going forward and they just get blown the fuck out

by like a modern day Japanese guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm pretty sure it's Kate. They're coming with horses and spears. Bomb them. Bomb them, not hand it. But yeah, that One Punch Man shit, exactly what Beast said happened to me.

Kyle was like, oh, Taylor, watch One Punch Man. Watch it. It's so good. Okay, okay. I got one episode in and i was like i don't understand the jokes but i did like when he punched the lobster guy i've had it happen three times for both for both beast and you uh taylor full metal alchemist is my favorite brotherhood specifically there's two versions and it's on net, and you can watch it even without subs if you wanted to.

You could watch it dubbed. Don't do that, but you could. This show, it hits the right level of very serious issues. I'm not going to spoil anything but the first episode because I feel like that's fine. They basically try and bring their mother back from the dead, and it's fucked up. And in the course of that,

the main characters lose one, their body, and two, the arm and the leg. They're like bleeding on the ground. Fuck it. Like there's this hideous heap of what was a human in there. And you're like, oh, it's kind of a serious one, huh? Like the idea of the show is pretty mature it's not like four kids

and it's really well written throughout the entire like 80 or 60 episodes the story arcs are perfect so imagine the perfect story arc for every single character and then that's Fullmetal Alchemist brotherhood so these guys they go

from oh they get introduced and you're like, oh, I love this guy. Awesome. To you start hating him and he turns into this evil thing or the other way around. Right. Like an evil guy. An evil guy you might envy. Us who haven't watched this, we have no idea what you're talking about. But yeah.

Oh, I know. And he's doing a good job of like of hiding the key parts here because it's that good. So Tucker, so an evil guy who, you know, like he's doing a good job of hiding the key parts here because it's that good. So, Tucker, so an evil guy who, you know, like he's very envious about people and whatever. He might really like go from, ah, you know, I hate this guy. And he's like such a bad guy to by the end of the series, you're sitting there tearing up because it's coming to an end for him, you know? And it's like you see the character development you see the progression you see everybody getting better and it's it's beautiful that's my that i'm tearing up over here do you need to watch uh the first

full metal alchemist before you watch brother it's synonymous they're the same but like the way they're one follows the manga or whatever the hell and the other one is just better and that's full metal alchemist like it's a remake a little bit more modern take um okay i want to talk to mr beast oh i thought there was gonna be no head no we can't he was about to suggest something oh well no go go for it dude i'm i feel like we've got mr beast on here and we're talking about cartoons. Come on, bro. Excuse me. Anime.

Anime. I wanted to know an anime story. Mr. Beast, you've blown up in the last two years, right? Suddenly you have access to everything. Casey Neistat wants you on his channel. How's that ride been for you? Is it flipping you out? Is it just not paying paying attention your old friends

look at you differently than they used to um well i think it's a little different for me from the last part of that question because i'm in north carolina so i don't think there's as many clout chasers here so it's like almost everyone like treats me like i mean the exact same to be honest uh it's like i don't have some dramatic story. And yeah, it has been two years, but I'm coming up on a decade of doing it, so it seems kind of just natural, you know what I mean? And I've just

chased it my whole life. I know you've been doing it for a decade, but you've blown up in the last couple of years. Casey Neistat didn't want you in 2012 or whatever. Yeah, we did 15 million subscribers in a year. 15 million in a year is outrageous. I know.

It is pretty crazy. But I don't know. We – or I've just obsessed and obsessed. And, I mean, everyone here that I have under me, like, obsesses. obsessed and obsessed and i mean everyone here that i have under me like obsesses and uh we just put in so much time that it just kind of not to sound arrogant just feels kind of earned a little bit you know what i mean like yeah we'll put dumb amounts of time into every video and we try to always put in like 10 times more effort than everyone else is and uh it just kind of seems natural like why would people not watch our videos if we're putting in

more time than everyone else and more money than everyone else i mean i probably put more time into just thinking of literally just the idea of the video than most people put into filming editing and thinking of their idea you know what i mean do you ever get the highlighted gta playthroughs what do you mean all those are pretty good beast do you ever get demotivated to do some of the personal suffering that goes into your videos like if someone pitches an idea like yeah i want you to stay underwater for 24 hours again are you just like fuck no no so that's part of it is um just keeping the channel fresh i mean it depends what stage of my life. I used to, especially right after I dropped out of college, I was all in.

I literally seriously wanted to count to a million, which is ridiculous. It's like 40 days of counting. So I only got to like 300,000. Wait, you mean count as in like one, two, three? Yeah, because I counted to 100,000 and then 200,000, 300,000. I mean, I was doing challenges left and right.

Like I had no future. It was either make it work or McDonald's. So I was going all in. But as time progressed, my love for doing long endurance challenges has kind of fallen off. I mean, but it's just natural. No matter what it is, you just slowly like if you're doing the same thing over and over again, you just get tired of it. So that's why I constantly try to keep the content fresh and stuff like that.

I could still really bank it out, but it's just, I don't know, as weird as it sounds, there wasn't time where I enjoyed doing stuff like that. Now it's kind of like, it's whatever, you know,

enjoy it. And you might've found, I'll make up a number, $500 to be a really motivational thing for like a 12 hour endurance challenge. Now, $500 maybe doesn't motivate you in the same way it used to oh it's not really i'm not really that much money driven it's more

like fame and like like it's a lot of things like i like helping people but it all ties together well because like i need money to help people and i need money to grow quicker and i like growing quicker because it helps like i don't know how to put it but there's like three things that kind of drive me i want money so i can help people and i like helping people and i kind of like grow it on youtube so is it weird to be a king maker like that like for people don't know he has videos where he is ten thousand dollar tip the biggest you've done for like a waitress no i mean movie we're doing like a hundred thousand dollar giveaways on a lot of videos now but is a tip to a waitress? No, I mean, we're doing like $100,000 giveaways on a lot of videos now. Is a tip to a waitress is one I have in my head, though?

No, the last time we did a waitress, I think that was $30,000. Okay, yeah. Only $30,000. It was pretty neat. Did the $30,000 tip also get like one of the really weak tips? It doubled every time, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. So the whole video was

30 and then we so we did like a dollar we did a penny dollar two five ten hundred and we just worked our way up and then we left a ten thousand dollar tip at the very end yeah but did the penny person get a better tip later on i want to say they did nah fuck that bitch. We can't blame him. No, I... Okay, okay. I think I invented this... That person's watching the video later like, son of a... Yeah, I don't... I think I invented this narrative in my head where, like, the penny tip

or the dollar tip was cool about it. They came back and, like, 10,000, but I just made that up. No, no, it's cool. I'm going to be, like, super sweet to someone else later. To be fair, all we did was order water. They took two steps to grab the water and put it down.

It's not like you guys feed them over. I'm not mocking you. It's a good bit. I like that. Some of the more recent ones would be like we went into a store and we bought literally every item in the store and then just took it to a homeless shelter and donated it all. Things like that. It just, they just keep getting bigger and bigger somehow.

Do you ever want to like, where did you go to? Uh, save a lot. So it was like $70,000, um, for all the items in it. Cause it was mostly food.

Cause obviously we want to go to a mini Walmart, but like, there's a lot of electronics and stuff that like rack up the price. So we had to do a grocery store. So it like stayed reasonable like when you do this stuff does it make you want to be selective about who you're king making you know like there's some like all right we're gonna give 60 grand to a homeless guy can we find one that rescued some babies from a fire okay well we don't do so last time we did a

homeless video we spent a hundred thousand dollars and we on supplies and we gave it to homeless shelter we don't give money straight to homeless people or if we do it's like in the form of gift cards for food so they can't like buy drugs or anything that's yeah that would be like assisted suicide for heroin if you just yeah exactly i did it one time i gave a homeless guy 10 grand and then afterwards like everyone's like you shouldn't do that. And then I did a lot of research. I was like, oh, yeah, I really shouldn't do that. And so ever since then, we're very careful who we give large sums of money to.

Yeah, that's where I was headed. Was it your goal from the start to be like, was this model your goal from the start? Or did it evolve into the helping people and being kind of philanthropic? Yeah. Well, from the start, it's kind of philanthropic well from the start is kind of hard because i started when i was 12 so like back then i was literally just beating my meat and playing minecraft i didn't know what i was doing nothing's changed for me actually beating his meat is where the count to a million challenge goes bored there's a time where i'm counting to 100 000 and i just like snooze off but it does look like i'm just beating my meat like i

just go away my arms moving and people are like jimmy starts to masturbate at blah blah time and i'm like i swear i did not be my meat this entire video like right here your arms moving up and down what are you doing i'm like i don't know what i'm doing but um how old are you now? Just real quick. 21. Oh, I'm a fucking loser. Great, you're just in time to get spoiled by alcohol. I'm never going to drink. I don't really care for it. Nice. I really do want to be incredibly successful. I want to make lots of money and help lots of people.

I just feel like it's not a good habit to have. You're probably correct. Yeah, you're right. Put all that booze money into helping. They all give me shit when I say stuff like that. It's not fair. Shut up, Woody. Go buy some more alcohol.

See? See? You've already lived your life. You can't help shit. Just go buy alcohol and drink with us. Yeah, Woody, you're on the final lap. It's downhill from you. When I go to to youtube parties that's where i get a lot of shit for two people like have a beer i'm like i'll pass but not like i'll hand it to one of my

friends i'm like but like do people like take it as an offense well here's here's what you say here's what you say oh i can't i'm driving oh yeah nobody were wishing you though i uber to 90 percent of these things yeah did they know i have a lot of sober friends in the music industry they drink seltzer water or like or like carbonated water and then they just put a lime in there and nobody ever goes like hey why aren't you yeah why aren't you drinking drink from a straw they taught us that just give an excuse that doesn't make sense so they're like i want a beer it's like oh no no no i'm good it works for kevin spacey yeah um yeah that's good it seems like you got your head on straight what'd you say then you asked me um like did i have this idea from the start or yes yes like did it start out this way like with the philanthropic leanings or

did it evolve yeah so that was just i brought that back up because that's something that is interesting to me is that I had kind of had that idea for years, but I literally just never had money. I kept telling myself, I'm going to do one viral video and I'm going to take the money from that. I'm going to do another one and then that money and do another one and I'm just gonna create like What is like Oh so like a waterfall When I just keep taking the money and reinvest it and actually like the first time I ever got a brand deal It was $10,000 and I put it on that video and then I took the money from that video and I put it on the next one and I actually worked out exactly as I had planned and Yeah, and they just kept going bigger and bigger and i just kept giving away all the money i mean i was like i made money i was like annoyed like i wanted

to just reinvest every single penny i made i want you to pocket one of these mr beast i didn't listen to woody complain about how you're not making enough like two hours now i just tell him you're not gonna to go broke in a well. I just want good things for him. He's doing good things for other people. It's funny because there are multiple times I almost went broke. I was like, oh boy. I got to pay my employees. I went to the roulette table. I put it on red

and I just kept doubling it and doubling it and doubling it. It keeps working out. I'm like, bro, just pocket one. Pocket a couple. Because you're a good guy. I just know you through your videos. I want good things for you. So pocket one. Pocket a couple. Because you're a good guy. I just know you through your videos. I want good things for you, so pocket some. Well, see, I think I got a good idea for a video.

$20,000 giveaway to the poorest person. You're currently on a podcast. Dude, how often does that happen? Like how often do people say, oh, you're a kingmaker? I wouldn't mind being a king. Yeah, so by kingmaker, do you mean like a guy who gives away money? Yeah, yeah. Like you can change lives with some of these.

Like you gave 10 grand to a waitress. I bet that made a big impact. Yeah, I haven't calculated it in a long time. But, I mean, we've given away millions of dollars to random people. I mean, there's so many people we give them money to at this point do you have to tip all the time like like when you when you go and just like get regular food you're not making a video you're like ah okay 40 percent what and tips yeah uh i'd usually just tip a hundred dollars just for fun because i have had molt like literally

anytime i just do like a normal tip in the past waiters will be like oh mr beast is a liar mr beast is a fake or like one time a fan paid for my meal so i didn't get my bill and then that that waitress is going off on me on twitter like mr b stiff me mr b stiff me because apparently the person who paid for a meal didn't leave a tip. I never got a bill. I don't carry cash. I had no way of tipping her. I literally just replied to her. Someone paid for my meal. I literally didn't even get a chance to tip. What do you want from

me, woman? I replied, I got 50,000 likes and then she privated her Twitter. You're so powerful. I don't know that you know. I just do $100 tips and I'm just like, all right, no one's blaming me online anymore. That's like five times what the real cost would be having.

It seems like you really genuinely enjoy seeing people happy and seeing their lives changed and giving that away. Is there one instance of that throughout your career that sticks out more than the most, that just really gave you that groundswell of emotion where you oh this feels better than any of the rest not really like they're all me just kind of chasing that high of like throwing a large sum of money at someone and just be like how do they react you know um but i mean like what's i don't know for me it's kind of like you know i'll make money because i want to have fun i want to enjoy it i'm like that's kind of what i enjoy like you're so much a better person than me i've thought about this

before and if i had that level of wealth and doing shit like i've already like realized i would go through town in a limo with a with a moon roof and i would have a potato gun that i would fill with rolls of cash and i would fire it at unsuspecting homeless people. They'd be pissed at first when the wad of cash hit them in the chest and knocks the wind out. But then I'm just like, surprise! And they've got like...

A bully-based charity. I like it. It's a bully-based charity. And it's a prank channel. It's a social experiment. I could call it a social experiment. Beast, has there ever been been a bad choice have you ever given someone like i don't know grand and they're like you know what a dick or like you just wished you hadn't i'm sorry guys i didn't know it was that david duke well it's like i told you before when i gave the homeless guy oh yeah that could have gotten way

worse like you know not that like it went bad but you know what i mean like something could have happened to him that was pretty reckless because that was the first one i ever did and then um i don't know i mean most of the time it's like i'll tip a pizza guy like a few thousand dollars and they'll like come back the next day crying like you're like i can get off work today and spend it with my daughter because of this like and though it's like it's you know people are incredibly emotional even when like on the some of the smaller ones i've done so i i don't know like i'm not gonna be over critical like yeah a waiter's giving us subpar service but i'm like well we're here to tip five thousand

dollars like you know i don't feel like going to a different restaurant but it's like it's not no big deal. That should be a policy, though. You're like, I'm giving away a lot of money, but service better be spectacular. It's like anything you do. Somebody has a bad day. Serving people is the hardest shit in the world. Everybody's, every customer is different.

So having a baseline of like, I'm going to tip 20% regardless of how bad they do because it may just be a bad day. They're not a bad person. Some cost fallacy. If you already ate the meal, you're not going to get up. We're not talking about 20%. Right. $200,000. $20,000. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm with Taylor on this one. Like if I was going to tip $5,, but my drink was empty the whole time, what about second breakfast? Maybe we should just knock a grand off for that. It's just so you know, you only got four grand because of it. It's like that old... You guys are fucked up. Because the ketchup was empty.

You could have been richer if you just filled my goddamn water. What the bitch? But some of the more... The stuff we're working on now is we're working on setting up an actual homeless shelter that I run that's been a bigger project. We're doing a video where we're

trying to plant 20 million trees. We're trying to keep scaling up and going bigger and bigger so it's interesting it'll be cool to see or not cool but just interesting to see where like my my peak is like because we're just literally going bigger and bigger every single month and like i'm like at some point like i don't think i'm going to just be able to keep going bigger you know yeah eventually everything plateaus it we were talking about so i often think about the generations and the waves of youtubers right like i've heard you say that before okay yeah yeah so so like i would say that the equivalent of me and like the fame scale would be like only use me blade but he was a little bit before me and then i kind of leapfrogged what he did and now guys are leapfrogging what i've ever done you could be the guy that leapfrogs pewdiepie but that guy is insane right that guy whoever

passes pewdiepie is bigger than robert downey jr right he's bigger than tom cruise he's the he's huge youtube will be a bigger platform than the movie theater when PewDiePie gets passed. What if that's you? Well, right now, if you subtract channels like Indian and Spanish channels, if you just take English channels, and then obviously you remove Rihanna and music channels like that, the only channels that are bigger than me is PewDiePie, then Dude Perfect, The Market Player, Smosh, and Vanoss. So there's five channels, English-speaking channels, that aren't music, like personalities,

you know, and aren't like big corporations or kids channels. You know, like actually people similar to me, there's five bigger than me right now. And three of them are at 24 million subscribers. So pretty soon it will be like PewDiePie, Dude Perfect, then me. For me, I don't know. I just kind of do my own thing. and 24 million subscribers so pretty soon it will be like cutie pie do perfect than me um for me i don't know i can't i just gonna do my own thing i think it wants because we're still like as weird as it sounds like because i have a lot of employees and i i've known management skills i've been learning a lot recently about leadership and hiring and structuring and and all that stuff

everything from health insurance for my employees to 401k i mean i had to figure it all out on my own and i'm just like i don't know i just like to make youtube videos you know so it's there's been a lot of road bumps but we're starting to figure things out and once i consistently am hitting multiple uploads a week which i've like literally never done even when i did 15 million in a year i mean it's pretty scattered we're just like because these are huge astronomical projects you know that require some of them like 20 people working on and like again i don't know what i'm doing i'm just a guy who likes making youtube videos but i want to keep going bigger and make the best content possible but recently we've been starting to figure out we've got some good key

hires and stuff like that so i hope i can do two to three million subscribers a month consistently as long as i'm spending 10 times more than everyone else or and investing 10 times more effort and thought into every video like i don't see why i can't consistently grow faster than everyone else and if people elevate their content i'll just elevate more i don't care i'm crazy so i the goal would be for me to do two to three million a month once I'm consistently posting and then do that as long as possible, which over a few years, that will compound pretty crazy. Have you found the fame to be inconvenient? Is it a pain in the ass to buy groceries or walk through Target or whatever? Yeah, a little bit, but that's such a first world problem. I'm not going to complain about it. Okay.

bit but like that's such a first world problem I'm not going to complain about it okay you know what the worst place is for the fame sorry public urinals yes I've literally had that happen recently he's like dude can we get a picture

and I'm like do you mind just like taking five steps back and waiting a minute I recognize that dick I had a little kid i recognized that dick i had a kid he just started staring at me and then like out of the corner of my eye i was like yo this kid next to me staring at me while i'm taking a piss and then afterwards he asked for a picture anyway it's tucker you gotta go yes i have to leave i i had to leave a couple minutes ago but uh okay we get it we didn't talk about anime you

don't have to just yeah i had a whole list of things i wanted to talk about but no anime no me um no hey again thank you guys for having me on pk it was always wonderful uh mr beast thanks for jumping on quevel it's good to see you baby i'll see you hopefully uh soon ish i don't know we'll talk event we'll have a long dm conversation about epstein i know we didn't even get to talk about it all right later guys nice meeting you later um well back throwing that question back at you woody i don't know how many of my videos you've seen um but do you think i'll be number one because you asked the question uh if i think i would pass pewdiepie what do you think? How fast does PewDiePie grow a day?

Dude, PewDiePie is destroying right now because of Minecraft Let's Play. It's insane. 600 million views a month? Yeah, and what's his subscribers? It's nuts. It says he got 1.5 million this month. You can look at mine.

Mine's really far down because i think last month we only uploaded like twice we've been just figuring out a lot of stuff on uh the more boring side but management and you got almost 900k this month that's pretty fucking good dude it's a lower month it's like a three percent increase you're barely uploaded will you be the one to pass pewdiepie i don't know i guess whoever passes pewdiepie it could be you and this is what i'm thinking this is what's buzzing in my head the nice thing about your videos is it has a combination of two things like one is the like oh i like mr beast i wonder what mr beast is up to today and that creates kind of a regular

following that comes back for video after video the The other is, I don't really care about Mr. Beast, but my friend told me about this amazing stunt and that creates like a viral type thing. PewDiePie, I feel like only hits the first one lately. You know, it's like, Oh, I like PewDiePie. I want to, I want to see him do this thing. I'm a PewDiePie fan. But I don't know that people are passing PewDiePie's Minecraft videos around at work or even at school. It might be someone in your genre.

Someone who makes videos like you, I think, will be the one that passes PewDiePie. I wonder how it stays fresh. Staying fresh is just investing a lot of time into the video ideas i mean there's an unlimited amount of things like and if anyone is still listening and you're a youtuber i mean literally the idea makes the difference between 1 million views and 50 million views on a video like it does it just does you know what i mean like you can put the same effort into videos but pull 10 times more views if you just have better ideas and like i i counsel a lot of youtubers and i help them and like i can i've taken lots of people from like 1 million views

up to 10 on like certain videos by just being like the fuck are you doing like no like you should do this not that things like that is it the video you change or the title and thumbnail and like it's just the idea behind it you know like most people ideas are just not creative and unique enough and like just why why should it go viral when it's just like kind of bland you know what i mean um i don't know where i'm going with you have a target for video link like you know do you think 18 minutes is a sweet spot eight minutes minutes? Do you have a target? I like to make mine around 15 minutes. It's just what

works for me. Obviously YouTube likes longer form content. But So you don't think it would be a good idea to just for a month use the same zombie gameplay i think with different commentary i think it's a great idea go for it man

it didn't didn't pan out for me did you watch taylor back when he did that uh taylor's specialty was I did I did You watched my stupid shit? I did yeah but it was like One episode Taylor's specialty was commentary Not so much the gameplay He played zombies and he'd get to like level

Nine or something Shitty And then he'd just reuse that gameplay all the time People even in my that gameplay all the time. People even in my comment section at the time would be like, anybody else just play his videos and then play video games and just listen to him talk? And it was like 500 up things. It was like, oh, in my head I remember thinking in like 2012,

like, so nobody's watching. They just want to hear me talk about stupid shit. The problem there is that a youtube video like you can make the best youtube video in the world but if it's not clickable nobody's gonna watch it right so you know which is what a lot of people focus on creating the best video in the world but then they don't think about oh are people actually interested in it do people actually want to click it my thumbnail good but it's more than that too because if it's interesting people will watch longer and obviously videos that people watch longer so once you promote them more like the

video it start every good video starts off with a really solid video idea right and like let's say we're talking about a podcast video it's not gonna go viral right unless you come up with a really interesting idea rogan yeah right so elon musk so sit down with elon musk for two hours pick his brain and talk about weird shit that's a great video idea i can see someone like in a cubicle environment at work be like dude you gotta check out pka and then standing behind him for the next four hours and 10 minutes as they enjoy it together that'll never happen well i think you're putting too much emphasis on word of mouth spreading whereas like okay 99 of fast-growing channels all the views are just from the algorithm like no one's getting big because people are going out

and talking about it if we're being frank i think you right, and I didn't think of that. Yeah. It's all about playing the YouTube algorithm, figuring out how it works, and then applying, you know, like, shaping your content around it. Oh, it's just the three of us now. Yes.

This is my master plan. First Kyle, then Taylor. Before long, PKA is a one-man show. Never mind. All right, I'm good. I don't know what happened. I used to listen to these all the time. Wait, where are you based out of again, Woody?

North Carolina. That's what I thought. Aren't you in Raleigh? I am in Raleigh. Can you say your city out when he docks you? Why don't you divide it? You could say western, eastern. I'd rather not.

People are crazy. People think I literally walk around with $10,000 in my pocket. You don't? Get some bodyguards. I do. I'm going on a trip this weekend and we literally have to pay a bodyguard to follow me around while I shop. I'm going on a trip this weekend and we literally have to pay a bodyguard to follow me around while I shop.

Is it a holiday trip? It's just kind of... Just for fun. It's whatever because this will go up after. Just go in and shop here in New York. Oh. Yeah. That's fine. You're not so far from

me that it couldn't be driven sorry if i gave away your location that's a nondescript thing like love the fact that you were in the same state as me i was like oh i wonder if i'll ever meet him one day like literally you had a million subscribers and i had like a hundred back then back when a million was a lot. Yeah, I know. I thought that was insane. I never get recognized but the first time

and one of the only times I have was 2012 at a release date for Call of Duty and all it was was I got to the front of the line at midnight and I was like, give me a Call of Duty please. The guy's like, this is going to sound weird. Are you Merka Durka from YouTube?

I was like, yeah. He's like, cool. That was it. He's like, of course, I meet the smallest fish in a smaller pond at that point. I still get recognized. It's rare. I don't mean to put my...

We have legit famous people on the show. But I got recognized at Wendy's recently pawns at that point i i still get record it's rare i don't mean to put my we have like legit famous people on the show but uh i got recognized at wendy's recently because colin likes to going there and it's like oh i swear i don't go here all the time you know like this isn't normal for me um when i was with casey he was showing me like because when we were walking together in the mall and stuff i mean every single person it was a coin flip whether or not they're just gonna walk up to us so he was just showing me tactics of like how to like get through people quicker like because if someone wants to take a picture they fumble with their phone they open the app to talk to you but if like they just pull out their phone

you just like grab it and you just tap the camera button take the picture and hand it to them you can literally cut it down by like 75%. So I don't touch the phones. Oh, I do. Dude, Casey showed me that and it's changed my life. Because the biggest problem I run into is I take a picture of one person and then everyone in the vicinity is like, holy shit, that guy's famous.

And then they're like, oh my God, I know that. And then a line forms and then I'm stuck there forever until I make a move. And then they're like, oh my God, I know that. And then a line forms and then I'm stuck there forever until I make a move. So an easy one is another trick. If you have a group, either you take the picture and put it on your Instagram stories

and tell them to go check it out or you grab one person's photo, like one person's camera, take a group picture and then just go. And it's just like, yeah, it's gotta go. Or when you have like a friend with you, just tell him, have a code word. Tell him, hey, listen, if it gets too crowded, I'm going to tell you this code word, and just pretend we're in a hurry. Pretend we're in a rush.

And then get someone else to be the bad guy and say, oh, sorry, he can't take pictures. He's really busy. He's really busy. I always feel bad about that stuff i try to just do the preemptive method and just like you know take a picture and skirt skirt like don't let them fumble with the phone or anything i just grab it press the camera button take it and then i just keep walking before other people notice well if you ever need to hire a guy to make that stuff go faster and doesn't have any sense of social shame. You got me. Can I hire you to sit in a circle

for three days? Sit in a what? I'm sorry? Sit in a circle for three days. That's not an uncommon Mr. Beast video. He'll draw a circle on the ground, maybe paint it in the grass, and then last one to leave that circle gets the car or something.

Or gets the prize. That sounds like fun. Oh, it starts that way. It's kind of like a hands on a hard body challenge. Yeah, yeah. But it's brutal. It's hard to win. At the end of it, even the winner is only moderately happy.

You know? Yeah. They play hard. And my favorite, oh, the dynamic is, I'm sorry, I don't know the people's names, but his dad is like giving him shit for not being tough enough. Help me. Help me. Who are the players I'm talking about?

Chandler is literally probably lost. All right. This is just a random number, but like a million dollars and challenges because he just could not win any of them. And his dad's like, what the fuck are you doing? Like, just win one. They'd get his dad on the phone and be like, toughen up Chandler,

would ya? You know? And he'll give him like a pep talk. Still can't win. So his dad goes in there and he's like, I'm gonna win the prize. His dad sounds a little like, I'm gonna win the prize myself. And he didn't. Not in the video I saw. See, like all you have to do is hang out in the circle, and then when you need to pee, pee on the other participants.

That is sabotage. Yeah, restrict no sabotage. Oh, that's not allowed. Well, then I would be out. But they didn't have a no teaming rule. So it was like, Taylor, I'll pay you five grand to leave if you give me that heated blanket. And you'll be like, oh, you know, should I try and win ten grand or take my five?

And now I get to heat it. It's fun. It's interesting. It's actually funny. Earlier today, we wrapped up a challenge, which will probably be out when this goes up. Last to leave pool of money keeps it. And we just filled a pool with money. A swimming pool of money?

Yeah, I mean, it's not like swimming. It's more of a hot tub but okay listen like thumbnail the thumbnail will show a really big pool but in reality it's just a kiddie pool yeah and then the video opens with them bringing it back from walmart yeah it's a hot tub it's funny um how much money does it take to fill a hot tub well and i show in the video so it's not like i try to's funny. How much money does it take to fill a hot tub? Well, and I show in the video, so it's not like I try to hide things, but we had to put crumbled up paper on the bottom and then layer the money on top of it

because obviously it wasn't enough. Yeah, because I... Not yet. I would have a hard time estimating how much money a hot tub holds, even in singles. I don't know. Because like I said, only did like the top third

Of it with money How much was it tell me I keep asking Oh okay $20,000 Okay okay Is it all singles Yeah I'm forcing someone with $20,000 in singles that's funny Dude that's not even bad

Was it Chandler's father you gave the pennies to Am I right about that Yes we filled his backyard with pennies and then took chandler and his dad to find new clothes yeah but you don't understand not all mr b to taylor how many pennies this takes to fill a yard like it's outrageous we've spoken about that specific oh did we i don't know if it's a prank or what is it like as far as qualified because it's clearly it's the kind of prank i would want to be pulled on me if it's a prank or what is it like as far as qualifying because it's clearly it's the kind of prank i would want to be pulled on me where it's like haha i dropped a bunch of legal

tender in your backyard what are you gonna do i'm like oh no i'm gonna go to the back i like to try to do is like another way to keep the content fresh and stay you know above average i guess is nice but it's to almost make it where like people like we uh that meteor on the car video like putting meteors on my friend's car in and of itself is like a video a youtuber would do and then afterwards we took them to go buy new cars which in and of itself is a video youtuber normally do and while we're putting meteors on their car my friends had one hour to spend ten thousand dollars uh you know to keep them distracted which is also a video they would do so it's almost like a lot of our videos are literally like three for other youtubers will literally be three individual videos and all

three individual videos for them would involve way less money and way less effort and we take them all and combine them and kind of do things like that as well so i just think right now it's just so far out ahead of a lot of other people you really i i don't know or i i'm learning more now but i didn't know anything about your content but now that i'm hearing about it like i gotta watch some of your videos like this is some funny fucking shit maybe that's not what i'm supposed to be taking away from it it's just like it is entertaining and fun like watching a car get crushed by a rock that's great different people might like different parts of the video for me it's about the human interaction you know and the money is just the catalyst the spark that makes the humans interact and and the human

interaction can be like struggling to stay in the water. Apparently staying in the water for a long time is awful. They start freezing. Their fingers start like. Yeah. You think you've had. What do you call the pringled fingers thing? Is there a name for that? I try to stay 24 hours in water and they got really bad.

Oh, pruney fingers. Pruney is what I'm going for. Yeah. You think you've maybe had or seen pruney fingers before, but you haven't done a 24-hour underwater challenge. There's another level to that. And Mr. Beast did, and I think he got like a kind of seasick. Yeah, that's what I was going to bring up.

Yeah, so like 12 hours in, I was getting symptoms of carbon dioxide poisoning. I was like, oh, fuck. Yes! Because I really wanted to get it. That's what I was saying. It's dioxide poisoning. I was like, well, fuck. Because I really wanted to get it. That's what I was saying. It's horrible. You need a doctor.

We had an air pump pumping Aaron. So I was told. Just get a doctor. Just have a doctor there. Please. We were getting. A medical specialist. We consult experts.

I'm not like an immature idiot. And experts are like, yeah, as long as you have something pumping. Give me some credit for Googling, Quib. Those experts sitting there are just like yeah that'll that'll probably work why didn't what didn't the air pump work so let me just lay this out he's in a swimming pool right the kind that might be in a backyard if i remember right he's under like a large tupperware thing the kind you might store your winter clothes in they somehow have that underwater with an air pump that in theory would bring in fresh air so he's not supposed to get carbon dioxide poisoning because the thing is pumping in air from outside why wouldn't that work

i think because the carbon dioxide sits at the top is what we piece together afterwards. I don't know, honestly. So maybe there wasn't enough circulation in the Tupperware? Maybe it's the specific airflow. I don't know.

I was really depressed at that time because I wanted to do the 24-hour challenge. But I almost threw up right after I got out. I was really depressed at that time because I wanted to do the 24 hour challenge. And I was like, but I like almost grew up right after I got out. Oh yeah. Dude, that's, it's real.

All of it's real. I'm not saying any of it, but like the fact that it's real is what makes it interesting. And that's actually something I've wondered, like how are you going to keep up that level of suffering? And I was talking about it earlier in terms of money. Like you might have liked to count to $100,000 for $500 in ad word revenue or whatever. But now you probably don't like that deal, right?

Now it takes a little more to get you out of bed. I don't want to let you go too deep on that, Tanger, because suffering isn't everything on this show. It's not. Yeah. So that's why i like to keep the content diverse because i did i've cycled through so many phases and like soon there'll probably be a time where nothing like we'll never do another lone challenge like that again like it's just about staying fresh innovating adapting and always you know finding the new trend like i did i donated twitch streamers and i did 10 of those

and like every one of them got over 10 million views and then we've done a bunch of last leave challenges those have all gone over 10 million views i've done lots of money giveaway videos i've gone over 10 million views i've done lots of 24 hour challenges like it's just like do something and then once it starts to get a little old just stop and do the next thing you know what i mean that's innovative. It's kind of the mindset. So, like, I'm not worried about that. I'm curious, like, do you – is pretty much all of your content from someone who doesn't know much about it,

like, the event-driven? Or do you spend time talking about, like, the movies, the TV shows, the kind of stuff you like to watch? Like, any of your personality put into it? No, it's more about, like this what's going on in the video because like the biggest thing is um like that type of stuff just doesn't appeal to as many people and like like i've said like i i want to make lots of money so i can give lots of money away that's just kind of what i want to do and so i gotta appeal to a wide audience so i can make as much as possible so i can do a lot that's just kind of what I want to do. And so I got to appeal to a wide audience so I can make as much as possible

so I can do a lot. That's totally fair. But you have a large enough following. I guarantee people are interested in your personal life and things like that. Not even like super personal life, just stuff like, for example,

what are your go-to TV shows? Well, anime, like we were talking about before. Oh, anime. Yeah. If I were to answer to you, his videos are event-driven, but that's just like the surface of it. Afterwards, you sort of get to know the cast of characters

and their little storylines. Of course, you have to be charismatic, obviously, to get any kind of thing like this off the ground. It's a different kind of charismatic. No one on the show is a really slick talker that i'm thinking of anyway uh you know but they're all genuine and there's a certain charisma in that so well and that's what exactly i want to keep it just real and just kind of like we're normal people like i'm not getting like you know i have a lot of youtubers la they get lots of acting lessons. They have VR coaches.

They have all this stuff. Like, I'm in fucking North Carolina. I just make videos. I don't know what I'm doing, you know? And I want to stay like that. I just want to be like a normal person, you know? No, that totally makes sense. Do you have any, like, when you're not making your videos,

what are your hobbies? Like, what are the, like, rock climbing? Is there something you really enjoy when you're not focused on this philanthropic endeavor so much yeah uh it kind of just depends obviously me and the boys play a lot of basketball and i love baseball um but what else is there i don't know like who's your baseball team no i don't watch baseball fuck that but i just like playing okay yeah um a lot of it though it's hard to put into words but like, like, a lot of these things, like, spending 24 hours in the desert and stuff like that, like, those kind of are, like,

hobbies. It's just, like, fun trips with the boys, and we just have fun. Like, that's what I love about it, and I think, like, why a lot of people burn out a lot quicker before me is almost all my videos are just me and my best friends just, like, having fun and doing fun thing and that would be advice i'd give to youtubers because like burnout is like literally the only thing that scares me because i i think being a youtuber as i've just done it so long and i've kind of just figured it out like i'll be able to do it pretty well as long as i want to but it's

more burnout is what scares me i don't want to get to the point where I dread working or I hate it and I like as of right now every day I become more and more passionate about YouTube and I think a lot of it's just kind of how we do the videos and just how it's set up you know YouTube burnouts an interesting thing like it so many youtubers like they hit their peak and then they make their hey I've secretly been depressed this whole time video yeah and you know I'm gonna take some time off and it's like really those videos are hilarious and it's not even as obvious sometimes like sometimes like their uploads go down like it's not like they flat out say i'm dealing with burnout but you can just tell and i think that's

a big reason why a lot of creators fall off or because or just the effort in their videos goes down and then their views start to go down you know and things like that in the game one of the one of the in particular it's not that much fun after a while like like what was your absolute dream job i can't believe this is my life can sort of transition into like man actually spending all my time in a darkened room with blackout curtains trying to get to grind. I got to grind. This isn't the dream I thought it was. Well, and that's where it's how you set it up though.

You know, like you, you are, you, you're your own boss. You can, if you're innovative and creative enough with the ideas, uh,

you can make it where it is funny. I think a big problem. A lot of channels have is they just don't have that many ideas to pick from they're just like they're stuck on like oh there's one thing this is all i can do like they have themselves literally right here on the other side of my mac there's literally 50 ideas written on a whiteboard that i'm confident all would do well so i could wake up and like be like you know what i'm in the mood to what is this one uh i don't want to say some of them because i don't want them stolen like this one's uh 24 hours in a three meter triangle visit the seven wonders of the world

um i don't want to give them away but like things like that so it's like i i think because i do counsel a lot of youtubers and try to help them and for a lot of them i think it's just a lack of creativity and a lack of investing a lot of time in the ideas so then you can pick things that are more fun you're not just constrained to this one thing like oh well if i don't do this i can't pay the bills stuff like that another big problem is that a lot of youtubers feel like they have to do everything themselves so now you know like you can do it for a year two years three years working non-stop no holidays no weekends know, and not that good of a social life. No, like, just like you can take that hit on your health. But if you keep it up for

years and years and years, it's like you're going to get depressed. Like it just makes complete sense because you're just inside doing all of this stuff yourself. You're not going to see a therapist or whatever. You cut off all your social ties so if you actually grow it as a business hire people you know uh you actually like give away work and take care of yourself you're gonna survive like twice as long 100 i would say like 10 times longer for you 10 times as long yeah. Yeah, probably. Anyways, guys, I got to go to bed, man. I'm falling asleep. It's 4.30.

Wow. Cleb, you're a champion. Thank you so much. As long as you always do. I was supposed to stay until 3 a.m., which was an hour and a half ago. And then it was like, let's get Jimmy in here. And we're like, oh, got to stay a little bit longer. Yeah, thank you so much for having me

guys thank you so much yeah thanks for joining man that's funny I appreciate you guys coming on the two fanboys the biggest PKA fanboys right here 34 million subscribers between them I watch every single one of your videos

Woody like seriously like hundreds Woody listen I watch so much of your shit, too. I told you, I emailed you, what is it, Mail Monday? Did you write me for Mail Monday? Yeah. I did, too. I don't remember what I did, but I did. I also, though, I had an old video on my channel.

Obviously, a lot of my older videos are deleted, and this one's 100% done. But I had a video talking about how I had watched all Woody's videos like literally I made a video like because I went back and all the videos I'd never seen I watched them and then I made a video and said I've watched all of Woody's Game and Text videos and I thought I was so proud of it at the time

I'm not worthy of all this that's really kind of you anyways guys I'm gonna go to bed do you wanna say you wanna say something I thought you were gonna say something I thought you were gonna cry or something

no stop alright guys take care see you later do we wrap here sure one last thing didn't you do a video one time about like investing yes yeah was it just like one video um it was one good one and then a second one

is that how i would describe it it's not that i'm telling you have no idea younger me i watched that and you talked about like i think you talked about compound interest slowly yeah yeah and how like you know with a little bit of money at the start you can you know make a few million dollars over a long period but that blew my mind and that like really did change because i was very young when i watched that and like i think that had a big impact on my life every time i heard anything about investing i always thought like what he told me like you just start with a little and give it time you can make millions of dollars a couple years have passed.

And every so often people like hit me up on Reddit or something and tell me that they follow that advice. And it's like where they are now and how they're on the path. And there's a few videos I've made that I'm really proud of and that they had a positive impact. And that's one of them. So, yeah, I feel really good about that one. People want more. And it's like, I almost just want to make the first one again. So people see it.

Um, but I have, I have this idea about sudden wealth and I'll lay it out for you. Uh, so if you're in a position where wealth gets dropped on you, or maybe you have a short career, that's incredibly like the revenue is fantastic i think about like what do you do right if you make a million dollars a year should you live like a millionaire this is i think this applies to you but i'm also thinking like ufc fighters or basketball players or or whatever and the guideline i like to give is like, you should live like you are annually making 10% of your net worth, right? So if you're worth $2 million,

you can have a lifestyle of someone who makes 200 grand. And then as that ratchets up, right? You know, if you do that next year, maybe you do it again, now you have $4 million. You can live like someone who makes 400 grand a year. And if you do that that then you will both live nicely and have a beautiful nest egg at the end of it at which point you know you come out of this and say all right you know now i can start figuring out my investing strategy and my my long-term

lifestyle strategy right it it wouldn't shock me if you followed that and then at 28 years old i'm making this up and don't take it as insulting your career is over right you've had seven more years on youtube just exploding and things go fantastic for you it would be wonderful if at what does that make you 28 years old if you find yourself worth i don't know 25 million dollars 35 million dollars or more and having lived a nice life on the way there right because right now you like you're in your revenue accumulation thing right you're making profits it's it's almost a distraction to try to figure out you know a long-term investing strategy but

if you just yeah right now my long-term investing strategy is my youtube channel but like youtube's gonna have like easily a decade run as the biggest video sharing platform like there isn't a competitor and it's like honestly like what what better because like yeah i own prop or i did and i've tried your real estate and all that stuff but like there is no better investment than my youtube channel there just isn't period you know like throwing money. That's where your time should be focused. On the other hand, I do love what Queb is doing and is diversifying in his video games and his real estate. That's all great. But for you, I would just love to see you turn what you're doing into a profit center of some sort, at least keep some of it for you and live on 10 of your net worth right

i don't know i couldn't even guess what your net yeah but live on is different because i don't spend shit like i i drive a shit car and i have a very average house like it's it's literally 100 my videos like i bought a bmw i and i tried that lifestyle but i don't care for it like literally all i want in life is to be successful. That's where all my money goes. There are a lot of people who would make a million dollars and not realize that that's not a forever thing. I think if you're in YouTube entertainment or if you're an athlete or et cetera,

then you have to realize, I think an average pro NFL player works three years. Really? Yeah. Really? Wow. Who did it fast. And Taylor, do you have any guess what an average NHL player would play? Oh, NHL, probably like three, four. Yeah. I mean, pretty much every pro sport, you don't hear about the guys who only stick around

for a few years, but that's most of them. Right. Right. So those guys make an 800 grand for three years should be living on 10 of their net worth and then when that's all wrapped up they'll find themselves with a couple million in their pocket ready to start the next phase of their life and that's what i would wish upon you you know in your case hopefully tens of millions of dollars and when you start the next phase of your life you're like all right well that was cool what's's next? That is interesting about the football players. And isn't it like 60% of basketball players go broke, right? Right.

I think, yeah, NFL and NBA, a huge percentage of them go bankrupt within seven years or some shit. When you put it like that, though, how Woody did, it makes a lot more sense. Because I always wondered how. But it's like they're thinking they're going to have these long careers. They spend their first year's paycheck on a car and a house, their second one on other stupid stuff, and then it's all over and they barely have enough money to pay the bills.

Yeah, they're making $800,000 a year in the NBA, not realizing that that's a three-year span of their life. year 80 grand the next year 160 and the last year 240 grand then they would have finished on the other side of that with millions in the bank and ready to kick off whatever's next you know and well i do think it is though to bring it back to me a different scenario because i mean if anything my youtube channel is an asset that technically if i mean i would never sell it like that's not even a thought but technically it is an asset and it is valuable you know what i mean like it is guys would go for i mean i don't even have to say it but dumb amounts of money and um obviously like i mean i my videos autopilot like the minimum views i can pull a day because my catalog is just so interesting and they consistently get views is like four million views a day like if i went 20 days without uploading

every day i would pull 4 million views like clockwork just to throw this out like what if the youtube algorithm changes in a way that doesn't favor your channel right what if they heavily emphasize now youtube wants to be like freaking better call saw clip shows and crap like that you know yeah i'm not worried about that i mean like it's it's pretty easy though you just look at who's doing, who's benefiting from the change and who's hurting, and then you just draw conclusions. And I talk with dozens of YouTubers weekly

on mastermind calls and things like that. I mean, it would take, like, two weeks to identify the change, and then I would just implement it and start doing well. Any algorithm change can be easily found, and then you just adjust. And, like, that's the biggest thing is I'm just not hard-headed. easily found and then you just adjust and like

that's the biggest thing is i'm just not hard-headed like i'm willing to adjust and do whatever you know what i mean like it's whatever back in the day there were mastermind calls like that but we weren't very masterful at understanding i have three separate weekly mastermind calls two of them i set up myself and yeah we just i mean we literally assign each other homework we're like you you go study this you go study that but we're at the point where there's nothing else to study like it's pretty straightforward now the algorithm's been the same for years yeah it's just and i'm you or maybe the new gen of guys i think has it worked out in a way that the old schoolers did not.

Yeah, that's hiring people. It's investing everything and just, you know, putting a lot of emphasis on the ideas and just, you know, I mean, basically that just in going above and beyond and making sure you always differentiate yourself. Like you just can't find content like this anywhere else. And if other people start doing it, I'm just going to go bigger. Because like I said before, I'm just literally crazy. I don't care. And I think that's why I'm so big and I'm going to keep going big because I'm just not afraid to spend lots of money and I'm not afraid to invest lots of time. And I'm just not afraid of any of it, you know, and I'm not afraid of falling off. I'm confident in my ability to just differentiate myself.

And I just don't see why people would stop watching as long as I'm, you know, spending 10 times more and investing 10 times more effort into every video. It's interesting. Yeah, I was the opposite. I was always not afraid of falling off, but predicting and knowing that I would fall off. Right. And I would compare it to TV shows. Right. Like, I don't know what's a modern show that fell off with a veep or the game of thrones there or a better one would just be disney channel

like you know disney channel used to pump out stars left and right but now like no one knows who the hell is even on there and i don't know who's taj maury now such a smart guy with disney i don't know did their shows get worse which is possible or did people just get tired of that show? Right. Which is always how I saw myself. Like, I don't think mail Monday got worse. I think I just answered all the friend zone questions that there were to

answer, you know, like enough is enough. And, um, so I always sort of prepared for the end. And, uh,

and then when that end came, the Minecraft thing came. And then when that end came, minecraft thing came and then when that end came i was like oh my god i forgot about woodycraft.net i used oh my god i used to play on your faction server i don't remember if you had other stuff but dude i used to know life factions literally i had the highest rank on yours like i'd pay for it and i mean like dude i would have like a hundred wall like like on all four directions. And like, what was your faction name?

Oh, do you know how long I have videos on my channel of me playing a woody crap? Was it good fellas? Was it, uh, no, we were never like a top one.

You weren't. Yeah. It was always like, cause I would like tweet out the, like who wants to help me mine resources and like pay people to help me like collect resources to build walls and things like that. Like I was very, you should have said it to Colin.

Colin would, would help you. Colin was like one of the big wall builders on Woody craft. Yeah. I mean, they'd make them a member of the faction and he would just grind and grind. He liked making walls and you know,

just whatever. Wait, let me see if I can find this video, you know, just whatever. Wait, wait, wait. Let me see if I can find this video for you real quick. Yeah, wait. Like, this one right here is probably WoodyCraft, because I have some older faction videos. They're like literally five years ago. Maybe

this one? I don't know. I didn't click on it. I'm just looking up thumbnails. That's crazy. You started your channel so young. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And this isn't even my first channel i had one before i was literally 12 i recognized the like oh it said woody craft but prior to that i recognized the um the font and the like colors for the ranks in like an instant oh yeah optic i know a lot of these top names really yeah what was your minecraft name i here

i don't want to say it oh you don't want to say all right that's fair it might well no but i'll type it right here um there you go i believe that is what it was i don't mean to be a jerk i don't know that i ever noticed jimmy's oh yeah no you probably didn't i think i just said it i'm such an idiot like literally who cares there's no reason for it yeah but um oh it's funny just watching this reminds me of old school stuff you got a little spawner going on there looks like you're grinding some gunpowder is this my base or did i raid a base i think i'm reading a base here oh are you yeah you're repairing walls that's oh wait no that is mine oh yeah i don't remember which one because obviously there's multiple wipes and stuff and so i played through a few generations yeah i worked really hard in the woody craft days well not all of them but yeah like i i was always awake same man dude no one would ever break into

my base and so i build a crazy base and i'll be like well why now you know uh yeah yeah so yeah once my youtube like my youtube channel wasn't over but like i just felt like it was on the second half of the bell curve and i was like ah if it's declining then we need to figure out what's next and that's when woody craft came along and then i felt like it was declining and it didn't really need a next like you know um i'm like so you seem to be enjoying your time the grind for me was almost something i wanted to escape from and uh when gamers are your customers they're some of the most difficult customers to please they they get wildly and aggressively unhappy you know like gamers do they're incredibly passionate yeah

and very fickle i was ready to like just get away from that yeah you know like like if your pizza's cold you're not like fuck you i'm gonna take down this pizza parlor and you know like you suck i'm gonna make sure everyone knows and i need it's just like hey man you know i get a hot one and then yeah other minecraft servers and i agree that's that's how a lot of people are about it burnout or they just they slowly lose their passion and these are all things because i really do want to be doing this in 10 years like this is all i want to do with my life is make youtube videos and so i study all that stuff and i've studied people who've fallen off and come to conclusions why and i'm at the downs i study how I feel and make sure, you know, I never wake

up multiple days in a row and just like not want to pop out of bed and go work and things like that. Like, I know. And like, I'm, that's like, I have discussions with that with my employees all the time. And like, so my upper level people, like, I never want to get burnt out. Like we always got to keep things fresh for me and things like that. And we're very careful what I spend my time doing and things like that. So like mentally I don't go crazy and like,

I'm just like loving what I do. Like all that stuff. We're very strategic. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's been super interesting talking to you. The,

your strategic mindset is not part of your videos. Exactly. I know. And that's what everyone says when they talk to me okay and it's not like i'm trying to hide it it's just it just doesn't have a place in my videos you know what i mean so like and i'm i'm very straightforward with literally anything in my videos um you know like because i don't we don't fake things and so people ask them just tell them you know and things like that and i think that's what viewers like you know when you're just not hiding things but it's just it's just not entertaining to talk about stuff like this huh it is to me we'll see what our pocket well yeah it is to me as well but to like you know young teens who just want to watch me drop a meteor on a car they wouldn't give a fuck you know can you explain this meteor car thing like i was just

watching it it's very fun how did they how do you pull that off what is you dropping it from a crane what are we doing here yes so step one is we had to get our friends away from my friends away from the cars which we did not show in the video but a lot of people are like oh this is fake how do you get the keys to the car um so that was that was a fluke. I should have like, cause sometimes I try to get right into the video so much that like, I omit details that I might think are boring, but then I'm like, oh,

well people probably wanted to know that. And this is the hard line to tiptoe. But, um, the way it went was I was just like, all right, everyone we're meeting here in this church parking lot. So step one,

we have to reach out to the church because we need a place to smash the cars that I don't own. So I don't get dogs. So we get access to this church parking lot. That's a have to reach out to the church because we need a place to smash the cars that i don't own so i don't get doxxed so we get access to this church parking lot that's a journey in and of itself to get a pastor to agree to let me destroy cars on his parking lot and then uh we pick the date and they all show up but i tell um these people the people who aren't in on it that they're just showing up to spend ten thousand dollars in an hour that i'm going to give them money and they go spend it so like they're excited they come and then um so everyone shows up them and then all the other people uh we split up into teams uh only one team

of four the cars were fucking with don't know about it everyone else and the other teams quote unquote no so they pull out and then they just do a u-turn and come right back and help me smash their cars and um i'm like i don't know how long we'll have this church so i need your car keys so then the people who i had all the people that we are destroying their cars pile into one of my trucks so and then i was like oh right before they left i got all their car keys i was like just in case the church makes me move your cars i just need your keys so that's how we got access to the keys which i wish i would have showed on camera so people wouldn't say it's fake because like i said we don't fake stuff and then they left and then the other quote-unquote teams that were also

spending 10 grand because like it's not believable for them just to spend 10 grand so i had to make it look like lots of other people were spending 10 grand or like instantly they would have been like this is too cheap like something's up so then the other two people though turned around but those four went and spent their money and then while they're doing that yep first thing they did they went left we called this giant truck that had like five or six two to eight thousand pound boulders on it he pulled in we called the crane guy he pulled in all this stuff was pre-arranged for a long time and they were just kind of waiting off in a further parking lot. And we had someone over there just like, been like,

Hey, this is, this isn't a scam. Just chill. We're good. And then they pull in and then we move the cars around and then put the boulder thing in the place where the crane can grab it, plop it on the car.

I, I am very particular about things to the point where sometimes it's annoying. Cause like we put it on there, you didn't squish it like I wanted. So then we had had to pull it off beat it with sledgehammers put it back on like saw off like the frame because the frame was i envisioned a car with like a u shape and the meteors in the middle it was kind of just flat with the meteor in the middle i really wasn't happy about it which is just little stuff like that that i think cars have a little more

structural integrity than exactly so yeah we're having to like constantly lift i mean it's like and i'm like having to call them i'm like because one of the people of the four so it's it's complicated so the four people that were spending the ten thousand dollars two of their cars got squished by meteors so the other two knew that we're squishing their cars with meteors but what they didn't know is we were filling their cars with uh one of them balls and the other one just a bunch of mannequin limbs so it's like it's very complicated so one of the one person knew that we were squishing two cars and medias and the other guy's car were filling his car balls and the other guy knew we're filling the other guy's car limbs and the other two people's medias but he didn't know about his car getting filled it's like it was a very hard line to tiptoe but

then i was like oh we just need another hour to like you know delay the like to the ones that knew we were smashing the other two's car and i just kept delaying them as we're just fucking around trying to figure out how to get their cars perfectly swish and then i'm like yep we're good come on back and then they came back and then we took them to a dealership and bought them new cars what'd they get um to be honest i don't know shit about cars well one of them got a minivan and then the other one got i want to say a porsche if that's wrong someone's gonna crucify me i get really cheap on that obviously i don't want to hype it up

right but he picked a minivan yep he did uh because uh one idea he wanted a car that cost six thousand nine hundred and forty two dollars and zero cents and that's what he got so he had extra money for insurance and other things like that oh it must be a little weird having money like all around you not you because you're the one dropping it but like to the staff and such like oh there's another video coming i hope you know yeah i hope it destroys my roof yeah i was joking with one of the guys there because he bought a new truck and his car before he bought it was really terrible like because like i only i obviously don't like fuck up cars because i bought like 10 cars in the last year or 11 or 12 i don't remember for other people um and so he bought a new truck and i was like what the fuck dude i was planning

on fucking destroying your other car for a video and he was like motherfucker he had just bought a new car i was like you could have just got that for free uh and things like that so a lot of them know like if you have a shit car you keep it and you just wait it might take two three six seven months but eventually i will get around to destroying it i have a truck that i think is really nice but if i work for you you'd see me in a chevette every day exactly that's what i told one of my guys he's like man i wish i had a turbo car i was like dude if i were you i would just swap cars with your mom for a year and just wait for me to destroy it. That's a good plan. Yeah.

Well, none of them do that, but I was joking with them at the Meteor video. It's Jake, the Viking dude. I was like, if you were smart, you would have done that. Dude, so when your, I'll say, five-year high school reunion rolls around, are you excited to go back and see everyone or you want nothing to do with that place? Well, so I went to a private school. So my class wasn't that big. I mean, literally like 22 people. And to be honest, most of those people work for me.

Okay. That ruins it. 22 people. Was it just like a big house? Like a large homeschooling operation? No, like, I mean, I know it seems crazy because public schools have like 300, 400 people, but I mean, yeah, it's like, that's how it was.

What was dating like in his class? So 22 people, I'm guessing about 11 of them were girls. That really shrinks the talent pool. Yeah, I honestly didn't date much until recently uh i was just on the grind i i used to joke about because like and i'm very more strategic and i i overthink things but i though if you spend that amount of time with people their habits rub off on you their everything rubs off on you and i really never found someone that was like as driven and like would keep me on track.

And I was just like, dude, like I'm not about to just fall off because I want to fuck around with a girl that's like, you know, average mindset and things like that. So I just didn't. You're dating now. Yep. Are you with someone or just, oh, you have a girlfriend? Yeah. Her name's Maddie. And that's why, I mean, until until recently but she's very smart and helps

motivate me and things like that and like doesn't make me feel bad for working like kind of all as bad as it sounds like all the boxes i needed checked and i was like all right cool this is like uh it was worth waiting for and not throwing away my sound bad everyone deserves to have standards and and boxes that should be checked yeah but most people's boxes are like is she hot is like you know like that like more deeper stuff because i get i want to be more like successful more than anything in life like that's all i want is like make a bunch of money and then before i die just give it away i just you see yourself i had a being a family man at some point like it may not put anything in your mouth or anything but like let's say you marry your current girlfriend like are you you see kids in the future i don't know man

youtube those would be the best people to give the money to no i don't like yeah obviously a few million dollars but i want to i really like want to make a billion dollars before i die and then just give it away i feel like that would be be the most fulfilling way to live my life. That'd be awesome, man. That's neat. I find you're much different than me in that regard. If I was on my way to a billion, I'd find myself at 10 million and be like, isn't this enough?

You could stop working. You could just fuck about. Working's fun, though. That's what I live for. That's where we're different yeah yeah but no yeah more power to you man no it's actually fun to talk about these type of stuff because you you're more interested in the most youtubers but a lot of them are just like i'm like what do you do you know they make excuses like oh i feel burnt out or this that and like

well what are you putting in place to stop? Have you thought of coming up with more ideas so you have more to choose from? This, that. And it goes over the head or they just don't care. And I'm like, okay. Well, then it's your fault you're miserable, just so you know. Or even that, but in other instances. But most people just don't think as much as me, I guess.

That might be true, yeah. It's interesting to talk to a home run hitter, right? You're not trying to get on base. I haven't heard that the whole time. Like, man, if I could hit a single, wouldn't that be neat? No, no, that's not your goal. You know, you're trying to hit a home run. No bigger go home run.

Fuck it, I only got one life. I want to change the world. Get some. You already are, man. are man well yeah it's hard though and i'm sure what do you know how it feels like like no matter how big the numbers get you still gotta just feel the same yeah the i sometimes think of levels and wealth in like what you can buy and not care. Right. Like, you know, there was,

there was a time when I realized I could walk into target and have anything. And it doesn't sound that huge. Right. But there was also a time when it was like, honey, you bought all new towels. Like, why didn't we talk about that first?

And then it was like i really wouldn't give a fuck if she came home with a new flat screen like it's okay there's nothing at target that causes a financial disruption in the family and uh for other people that becomes the apple store or it could become the car dealership like those are the levels of wealth and uh dollar general yeah dollar general is one of them because in my instance i go there and buy literally everything generals dope people think it's a dollar store it's got everything it's great yeah it is dope until you try to buy i don't know okay low-key i that before we went into the safe a lot and bought everything we

tried a dollar general we emptied like shelves on shelves, and then the manager was like, hold up, hold up, hold up. We're talking like, we literally have 30 shopping carts in line, and they're like, you can't film in here. Do you have permission to film in here? I'm like, no, but we were just trying to buy all this stuff to give it to charity, and they're like,

do you have permission to film in here from a higher up? Like, no, I'm just trying. Are you shitting me? You have 30 shopping carts yeah i know they wanted to buy everything and no and then so literally literally they're like all right well you need to leave right now we're gonna call the cops i was like okay but just so you know i'm trying to buy every product in your store at full cost and donate it to charity and you're threatening me with the cost he's like get out the store i'm gonna call the cops i'm like okay we just left i was like that is ridiculous can we put the stuff back so i don't feel like an asshole he's like no you can't put the stuff in the cards

pack i was like okay it won't work for you just you know we just went to save a lot we're like hey are you an asshole he's like no all right i'm gonna buy everything in your store did you save a lot employees? Probably like, honestly, I'm a little high right now. Well, we were doing most of the work for them. I mean, I brought like 20 people and then I ended up having to hire like six people just walking by on the street to work for us that day

because we need more people to stuff boxes and fill the U-Hauls and things like that. It's not even YouTube videos at that point. This is a full-scale logistical operation where I have to pay a person to sit there and track our progress and make sure we're on track to clear everything before the store even closes and make sure he's doing his rounds around the store

while this and that and things like that. That's interesting interesting i hadn't thought about it on the level of like a logistics issue but oh my god logistics is our hardest issue like and these are all things like i'm just like i just want to try to make youtube barely see it in the videos you're like ah yeah i guess they think that they have enough custard for this so you know i don't know where it came. I don't really think about where it came from. Exactly. Everything.

Well, and that's what I like about my videos too. And again, I do everything to differentiate myself. If anyone tried to do what we did, they would make it look so much harder because they would show the behind the scenes stuff. Whereas like, we'll put, I mean, some videos like months of preparation into it and then I'll just act like it's nothing, you know?

And that's just kind of part of it. I think that's part of what people like i'm just like you know we have 100 million orbeez you don't give a fuck how i got them yeah i just have them you know let's let's have fun dude my son loves that if people don't know orbeez are it's like a tiny little ball pellet and when it's dry it's the size of a bb maybe smaller than a bb and when it's wet it's the size of like the shooting marble the one you'd use with your thumb and uh colin loves these things he fills them up he puts them in the like behind the kitchen door that we have like a little concrete walkway to the pool and he smashes them and that's like the end of them right like he smashes up warbies he likes to squish them them right like he smashes up orbeez he likes to

squish them between his fingers throw them in the air whatever and then they disappear and then it rains and suddenly they're born from nothing like in the backyard the little sidewalk thing like orbeez orbee little bits that were crushed and dehydrated now are reborn and it's kind of funny but yeah so when it rains he goes out back and looks for the pet cemetery yeah uh you're giving me flashbacks because we put the 100 million orbeez in a backyard and that was that was interesting that took like two months to clean out all 100 million of it i mean that's like that took that whole video was like a third of a year process because i mean it was i we had to like call factory because like 100 million orbeez isn't cheap factories in china and negotiate and like get samples and then get them all over here and

pick them up from the port and that was like a two-month process just to get 100 million orbeez from china and then we had to like logistically set it all up and transport it and then get the people out there and then it took a week to film and then it took two months to clean up and that whole two-month cleanup process we're still filming videos on a daily basis and that stuff's kind of happening in the background while cleaning up all the other videos while setting up for the future videos well it's so it's like it is a lot and that's's where I'm having to learn with management and all that type of stuff because I had no experience. Wow. Yeah, it's super interesting to me because I thought Mr. Beast was a dope

who sat in the swimming pool all the time, but he's actually a businessman who calls Hong Kong to get Orbeez or whatever and puts together movies that need production. Yeah, basically. And we have to be working at least 10 videos out, because they're such large projects. It just won't happen. 10 videos out?

Yeah, minimum. Because we have our next 50 ideas already. Because that was our biggest problem is we just, we need, because we need to be able to identify the bottlenecks and issues and set up plans for them very far in the future. Because, like, I don't feel bad saying it because I don't think anyone will steal it. Like, I want to blow up a $100,000 firework. Well, that's going to take them 71 days to make.

And then we have to get Indian Reservation and, like, all these other things. Like, it's a huge project. So if I want to blow it up on get Indian Reservation and all these other things. It's a huge project. You have to blow it up on an Indian Reservation? Yeah, because it's like a bomb. It's not legal here. Oh, hell yeah, dude. And so all these things and transportations and assembly on site and dig a temple hole and then have the perimeters, all that type of stuff.

So if I wanted to film that in December, we got got to start fucking working on it like soon and things like that. But we got all that type of stuff, you know, all the videos from now until then we got to be planning them out and things like that. A lot of foresight, a lot of planning. You're doing great, man. Yeah. I'm excited to watch some of your actual shit.

You've hired some adults behind the scenes who just do never on camera, I assume. Yep, of course. And they handle some of these logistics for you now? Of course, yeah. For someone like me, I'm sure some people watching, probably not nearly as many as I think because you're very popular.

What video would you recommend just kicking off with on your channel? Well, my goal is to make every video the best one. So, I mean, I would just watch the newest one. Well, actually, the newest one was very difficult. We went to a theme park, Six Flags in Texas, and we won every single prize in the theme park. Oh, that sounds miserable. Well, there's 13 of us, and and yeah i was just like here you go

okay chanel you play this game and don't fucking leave until you win every prize and then chris you play this one is anyone good at shooting a basketball yeah literally i can't get this goddamn ring on the bottle. Taylor, do you have a knack for throwing ping pong balls at goldfish? I do not. But I can shoot that little water gun right in the hole the whole time. Well, so for that one, since I just uploaded it, it's a 13 minute and 22 second video. What do you think the audience retention on it is?

I'm just curious what you think oh very high i would guess very high until like the last minute or so yeah assuming the last minute is so it's a 13 minute and 20 second video we'll just round up 13 and a half minute video how long do you think and it already has let's see i uploaded it a few hours ago it's on let me refresh this it's on 5.4 million views so how long on average do you think those 5.5 million people watched the video see I would have guessed like 7 or 8 minutes

I would guess 80% retention up until 9 minutes I don't know the percent I'm just going off minutes I would have guessed the average view time was 5 or 7 minutes but psychology tells me it's going to be much higher because you want to talk about it. That's why I guessed nine minutes on a 13 and a half minute video with 5.5 million views.

Do you think those five and a half million people on average watch nine minutes of a 13 minute video? I mean, only because you're framing it like this. I think it must be very high and nine minutes would be a high average. Yeah, well, if it was 15 minutes, which is what we normally do, nine is what it'd be about around this time. This one's eight minutes.

Oh, seven? Oh, eight. Eight minutes? Yeah. That's really fucking high. Yeah, and so that's part of why our videos go so viral. That is incredibly high. There's very few people on YouTube right now who can upload a 13 minute and a half video and viewers actually literally on average watch eight minutes and 40 seconds of it we have like a regular like 45 minutes is like a normal watch

time yeah i think that um a lot of people will watch it in they might watch all four hours just not at one sitting. Well, it's a little bit different because the big candidate is that it's gone viral. Because obviously a lot of your views are from subs who have high watch ratios. It's why a lot

of people, when I counsel them, it's hard to educate them on it because their videos will have high audience retention, but it's mostly sub views. And when it gets recommended to non-subs who maybe aren't familiar with their content or just don't give a fuck about them it plummets and then they they wonder why their videos don't get recommended despite having high stats and it's because it's just your sub count and then when it reaches out beyond that it drops so they just don't promote it and so then yeah your stats are inflated basically right right

yeah i agree with all of that but i thought it was interesting stat nonetheless like no yours is interesting 45 minutes is ridiculous that's insane yeah it's really long but and i i think it's even like i said miss misrepresented something because they don't only watch 45 minutes of it they often come back and watch the rest some other time. But yeah, it's just a high number. But like you said, and also I think we have a really hard time bringing in new audience. It happens.

I'd hear, I hear from them and such, but just when you make four or this one, five hour videos, a lot of people like, I'm not clicking on that crap. If I didn't know who you were, I'd literally be like,

who the fuck watches a five-hour video? It'll be nighttime with this. I'm only awake like 18 hours. You want to invest a third of my day into this shit? Yeah, I agree. That's why I liked doing the highlights. Sometimes guys on the show didn't like the highlights but um uh yeah that sometimes like guys on the show didn't like the highlights they didn't like you know that little highlight being brought to them or the thumbnail or the

title or something or i think sometimes sometimes the funnier stuff we do just gets buried in it and therefore it doesn't go hot and create trouble but you upload a video we did it okay we did a show that she has put together. I think we talked about it earlier, where he would have a picture of a pedophile, and then based on that picture, you would have to guess what his crime was. And there were three things you'd guess,

like how long he served, the age of his victim, and I think the sex of his victim. And it was really funny. And in the middle of a four-hour show like you kind of get away with it but upload it as a separate like guess the pedophiles offense it was trouble i mean we did lose a sponsor because of that bit it was a funny bit though yeah um and i know you're not being as serious you're saying it as a joke but you should still do the highlights and obviously just refrain from the more borderline topics, to be honest.

Because H3's highlight channel, I'm pretty sure, pulls more views than his main podcast channel. Highlights are the way to go. I agree. I've never watched H3's show. I know who he is, but I imagine his show's a little cleaner. Yeah. But I watch Rogan highlights almost exclusively exclusively i don't watch his full show very often and dude that's the um my favorite thing to do is like you know i have a 10 minute card i'm like which little rogan snippet am i going to learn about on this

car ride yeah a hundred percent you should do highlights that's how you grow this because people the highlights are what will get recommended because you can put interesting titles and thumbnails on it and they're a reasonable link that can get more views and actually attract new viewership. And then if they fall in love with the highlights, they're like, I'll just listen to the actual podcast.

And that's how you introduce more people. Because I mean, there's so many, even just from the two hours or hour, I don't know how long it's been. I've been talking to you. You could get like three highlight videos out of here and then throw clickbait titles and thumbnails on all of them and none of them would be even remotely controversial it's like why not you're inspiring me maybe we should do that maybe that would be good for the show that yeah but you're i also know you even though it has been years you're the type of person one person's gonna leave a comment like this is clickbait and you're gonna be like oh

my god they hate the titles and thumbnails i don't know what to do okay you're not wrong but i have i grow every year in that regard though like i sometimes i just consume it less uh yeah like i i'll stay away from areas that are yucky to me or I just don't read the comments or whatever. Like I'm on a scale of 1 to 10. I've made solid progress from like a 1 to a 4 or 5. Never read comments. Assume everyone loves you.

Oh, boy. Well, as for titles and thumbnails, like who cares? The content is good and people genuinely enjoy what they watch and it is accurate like it doesn't matter if it's you know a little bit more clickable it does hit as long as the content's good and people are entertained like that's all that matters true yeah yeah but i guess you should come back for a full episode at some point i'm thinking about it um it's just yeah honestly what we're talking about isn't as edgy as i would have thought because the pka when i used to watch it was you know you guys would talk about what uh masturbating devices

would be best or what are they called you know that's still a solid topic don't knock it okay i've taken away the edgy shit off my list while you're here out of courtesy there you go um yeah well there's not as much edgy talk sure well actually it's honestly a miracle the cobalt cop hit me up at kind of a good time it's also devoting a few hours we'll see definitely just keep asking me and eventually i'll be like no fuck yeah we'll get shiz on the task yeah he's unrelenting well i'm sure you want to promote your stuff before we okay so to the 500 of you still watching um i uh go follow woody's camera tag that's what always does no go follow his new highlights channel it's going to be called pk highlights

just search it up on youtube by the time this goes up he's going to have it there's gonna be some bomb ass highlights up there. Go subscribe. Giving you work, son. If there's nothing up there, I want you to... If there's nothing up there, we're smashing his truck with a meteor. If there's nothing up there, I'm driving to Raleigh and I'm going to...

Because he lives in an unnamed town that's not undriveable. Yeah, that's like 30 hours away. I'm in California, right? Definitely within 30 hours. In Cali, yeah. But before we go, thank you so much, Mr. Beast. We're going to hear from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

I love this sponsor. It's never okay to drive stoned. You put yourself and others in danger. And a DUI covers more than just alcohol drugs that make you feel different will make you drive different and you could get a dui if you've been using marijuana in any form do not get behind the wheel if you feel different you drive different drive high get a dui oh i like their tagline it rhymes rhymes. Therefore, it's good. How long does it take for weed to get out of your system, though?

Like, how long are they recommending you wait? Like, I don't... That's not in the read. Don't ask. I don't know the answer either. I'm not a weed person, but... Well, if you feel different, you drive different. So there's an indicator, perhaps.

That's in the read. I'm comfortable saying that. All right. Oh, Chiz. Chiz is writing something. I don't know if we need to... He's in Kyle's prison. He's got a ton of privacy.

All I figured out is he's passing his time by beating his meat. The showers are basically private. He's got better showers than I had in high school. This is bullshit. And the toilets are all private. He's got better showers than I had in high school. This is bullshit. And the toilets are all private. That's nice. Nice. I don't mind shitting in front of others, but I prefer not to. Yeah, he described the

sleeping area. We compared it to that full metal jacket, like barracks. It sounds like it's way better than that. Who's Kyle? FPS Russia. Okay, that's what I thought thought i just want to make sure yeah he's the third member of our show who is in prison right now how long eight weeks really for for when they raided his house all that that was the yeah a couple years ago uh there

was i've heard the story a bunch i'm sure you've told it so you don't have to repeat it yeah but basically he's in jail for eight weeks but we'll be fine i miss my boy kyle oh my god so does he get like daily phone calls how often can he call you see apparently like just from what i'm seeing from chiz from what he said is that like doing three-way phone calls which is what we would need to do to get this going with recording is like a hard and fast no from the prison no three-way phone calls allowed at all no matter what and so we'll either have to find some other way to work around it or i don't know but what do you mean progress three-way like can't he just call in and you just put it by like he can't talk to three people or i i don't know what i'm just going by what chis said on Twitter a little bit ago.

And Chiz spoke to him today on the phone and said, yeah, it was so quiet on his end. Even if Woody held up a phone to his mic, you would hear nothing. It sounded like a whisper the whole time he was talking. Yeah, but you can figure that out. You can just put on a speaker and then crank the speaker up. And if that doesn't work, get a fucking bigger speaker until you get one that i can dude i'm telling you that

would be i'm down for anything i want kyle to call in i miss my my boy yeah you should yeah or we could like call him with skype and increase the gain or something leo do it on the tech side yeah and also put a speaker and just start a pk with like what's up i'm woody what's up what's up and then it's like hey i'm Kyle. I'm in prison right now. And then the first 10 minutes, he's just talking casually. He's like, oh, sorry, guys. I got to go back to my cell. And then you keep going.

Sorry, guys. My boyfriend's beckoning me. I don't want to make jokes like that. What if he doesn't like them? I'll make them for you. So anyway, National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, don't drive high. You'll get a DUI. Alright.

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