Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #454

Episode Date: September 6, 2019

In this week's PKA, we're joined by the always entertaining and great Canadian bear himself... Harley Morenstein of Epic Meal Time, as well as our good pal Filthy Robot and the guys, discuss books, Epic Meal Time coming to an end, what Marvel is gonna do next and of course the latest controversy with Dave Chappelle's new Netflix special. So tune in and start screaming.

doorbell's about to ring. Painkiller already, episode 454. Kyle? Taylor? No, I'm going with Kyle. This episode of PKA is brought to you by ExpressVPN, White Castle, Blizzard, and SmartMouth. And we'll talk about them later, but for now,

let's get to our guests, Filthy and Harley, who have been on a lot of times on their own, but you guys are strangers. You don't know much about each other. You might even get a look at each other and not like it yeah i like i like what i see so far i'm not gonna lie he's got strong hands strong forearms from climbing yeah he's he's tall not as tall as you harley but you know oh you're a long boy i didn't know i think i couldn't tell that you were long as well. Yeah.

Now I'm getting real worried. When Chiz said I had to fight my way out and one of us would survive, I thought I had a good shot. But now it's getting a weird vibe. You're looking intense. No, Harley's an even longer boy. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm a long boy. But no, we're joining forces now. This is a good thing. Harley. Maybe we don't want Kyle back from prison. Maybe this goes really well and we decide to move on without him. He probably has lots of new gang friends anyway. Well, it depends. Do you want to remain

Kyle or do you want to be Taylor again? Is there a ping pong tournament or is that a dog? What the fuck is that? Remember Wings' dog used to go nuts and we'd all scream to kill the dog? Kill that dog. It was one of my favorite recurring bits.

I love dogs, but. I think that dog is dead now, right? Jesus Christ. I don't know. That's a safe bet about any dog. Like, if there was a dog living six, seven years ago, guessing that it's dead now, pretty safe, right? You're playing the odds.

Yeah. I think it actually? You're playing the odds. Yeah. I think it actually might have been two dogs ago. Did Harley have a coffee delivered from like... My podcast coffee, sorry. Start everything over. Who are the sponsors today? Harley, there is a rumor, pretty confirmed that you're shutting down

Epic Mealtime in October of 2019. Yeah. There's a less confirmed rumor that last episode waits until Kyle leaves prison and it's an Epic Pot Brownie. True or false? Oh, it's a good idea. No, it's not. It's a horrible, horrible idea. Kill all your friends.

I enjoyed prison so much, I decided to go back. We're going there. Let's go there. That's the final episode. We break him out. That would be funny. That would be hilarious, to break Kyle out. And you guys probably don't know, it's such a level of prison that it's classified below minimum security.

There's no walls. The rule is just, hey, you better not leave. it's classified below minimum security. There's no walls. And so there are no walls. The rule is just, hey, you better not leave. Don't you dare. It's the honor system. It's all the security of go to your room that he's in. Someone comes in. It sounds very Canadian.

Prison guard comes in. He's like, hey, I'm trusting you. I'm trusting you. Trust is a fragile thing. Once broken, it's not coming back. Remember that, boys. Kyle will be like Trailer Park Boys where they're like, You're getting out of here early, man.

He's like, No, I can't leave. The hockey tournament's coming up. I can't go. You can't force me out. Do you have a plan for your last video harley no oh i think you should use mine okay yeah i'm not giving you any money though i wasn't looking for any money i'm not going to i'm not going to give you any money for it but i'm going to do that idea yeah you know what i actually already thought that idea before you said it i don't know why we're

being confrontational about this, Harley. I got lawyers here right now. Hey! This is revenge for your mic setup. That's what this is. No, I, yeah, we decided, we, the board members of Epic Meal Time Incorporated, me, while baked. No, just, you know, it's 10 years. We did this show for 10 years.

Wow. I have plans of the future. Not anything I want to promise right now, currently. But, you know, we've done it for 10 years. I love the show. When I first did it, I was like, this stupid fucking idea. This is going to last five years. And on the five-year anniversary anniversary i remember we did an episode called

the last episode of epic mealtime where we're like ah we're still gonna do it um but yeah now it's it's we're coming up to the 10 year and i'm like uh you know like uh like i don't even like cooking bro no i'm kidding we just i never expected it to go so long i never expected it to be such a thing you know there was definitely some trials and tribulations there was definitely lots of things to celebrate i think i'm a very fortunate person i think i was very lucky we do have you know plans for that channel itself but uh youtube isn't in a place where spending $1,000 with five employees making an epic meal makes any sense anymore. You know what I mean?

YouTube is in that place. The views as well. The show's not like it's a novelty anymore. There's many channels that do the exact same thing essentially um but they don't have that big ugly hilarious jewish guy so that's true difference but uh yeah so it's uh it's a good way for us to kind of like bookend it you know make 10 years maybe release the box set 4k blu-ray 3d who knows we'll see what's up um but uh we get to bookend it and you know i'm still gonna be creating that's for sure that's what i want to

do i like doing this you know so i'm definitely gonna keep creating i definitely have some ideas i have some concepts some of the food space some in the not in the food space um but you know i created an ip with i feel like i'm rattling shut the fuck up Harley shut up you have a lot of time to fill go so yeah when's he back how long October ready this is the third show without him

so we've got after this we've got five more sans Kyle he doesn't get into any brawls in prison or anything well we gotta fucking break him out. It's not hard to do. We've got to break in there and suck his dick. What?

That's not part of the plan. That's not going to stray from the plan. You and Sue are not already on this. We're going to let that plan marinate a little bit. We're going to come up with a better one. Are you quitting that shit because the CPM is so bad or the algorithm isn't pointing people to you or it's like yeah you know like it's it's like uh i i definitely i'm still passionate about creating i'm definitely

still passionate about i i think my my passion has will be unwavering i spoke about it on this podcast before i believe but like a couple years back i had a point where i was like what am i doing but i had like uh you know since then things things have changed and i know mentally like you know my passion for creating will always be unwavering you know what i mean even when i see like big youtubers that are like you know doing huge things they're like top of the game and then they'll like make a post being like i don't want to be a youtuber forever you know i want to do like other things and i'm not saying like a youtuber is a creator essentially it could be like you know in anything but i always like even when people like downplay like a youtuber as a thing

i'm always like what i'm like it's a chill thing though no it's cool shit when people put down youtubers fuck them so yeah they're like oh yeah he's a youtube creator or i want to be greater than a youtube creator it's like we, what are you talking about, man? Will Smith is fucking vlogging. Yeah. This guy is like rapper, movie star, TV show. Like, he was fucking vlogging. You're going to be like, YouTube's not like.

Yeah, exactly. Well, hey, it was a big deal. Go to school. Don't do drugs. He did have a line once I forget what song it was but like what's that it could have helped Kyle he just needed a little bit of

Will Smith rap in his life Will Smith had one line in one of his songs I forget which one it is but he's like he's like I hate to be the guy that has to clean this place and I remember laughing so hard even like in the seventh grade I was like what a that's not that's like the most, that rap, like being like, hate to be the guy that has to clean this place.

And I remember just being like, that encapsulates everything about him. You know, it's like, you know, Tom foolery and mischief. Do you think he would also agree to that? What's that? Do you think he'd also agree to that? That probably encapsulate everything he thinks about himself as well. No, I don't know about that. And God forbid he should ever hear this or hear me even speak of him i think we're safe in such a manner he's a big he's a big fan he's a patriot he writes me all

the time he hangs out with us once a month on he's in the hangout that's why it's so expensive you guys should go i hope he makes this one he's one of those action stars that like i liked him in independence day i also haven't seen independence day since i was like 14 and i'm pretty sure if i went back it would be retarded no it's for sure still sick that one still cool is it i don't know he's saying oh it's awesome that speech is a tearjerker if by the speech you mean by the jew dad talking about, you wouldn't be anywhere without my David. I agree, because that's the funniest part of that fucking movie. Even at 14, I'm like, I don't even understand really what Jews are, but they're hilarious.

Mommy, the Jew's funny. Can we get one? That's how I was at 14. Mommy, give me a Jew. Mommy, I want a Jew. Will Smith seems like a guy that would be so buttoned up and prim and proper in real life that he, it would take away from his action stardom. Like he doesn't, like, you know, like how Bruce Willis is apparently a cunt, like a rude cunt, get out of my way kind of guy in real life, according to Kevin Smith. That would just add to his mystique, his, his persona. Like, man, he really is kind of a in real life according to kevin smith that would just add to his mystique his his persona like man he really is kind of a hard dude will smith i feel like he'd be like letting you butt him at starbucks because he wanted to be polite like that that wouldn't be conducive to an i am

legend scenario yeah yeah no that would not be i am legendary at all no yeah i am. You know what? I've met the guy. Well. I mean, if you want my firsthand take on Will Smith, yeah. I do. Have I met him? Yeah, I have. Yeah, I have. What event did you meet him at?

It was June 9th, and I was getting the best sleep. I had just started dreaming, and Will Smith enters. No, no, no. YouTube has this, like, they did this thing. They still do it. Rewind? I'm not allowed there anymore, though. But, no, it's this thing.

It's like they get a hotel in New York and just put top creators in there, and it's this interesting YouTube Illuminati meeting where nice you know all the youtube creators are there and youtube's like david blaine's gonna do magic for you and then david blaine comes out and holds his breath for 10 minutes um and you're in a room with like you know markiplier jacksepticeye pewdiepie uh lily sing uh you know what i mean some fucking handsome young boys you've never seen before but you just know have millions of subscribers you know what i mean um because they're handsome dude and you can tell that they're charismatic this is the era of cute boys i don't want to crush your story but yeah i don't don't then let's let's see where this goes i'm very interested so uh yeah you know you got like it's like this

youtube gathering and youtube like gets like you know the whole hotel rented out and they have these cool things and you know ultimately the real short end of it is it's like this is where ad buyers come into new york to go and buy ads and like where are they going to spend their marketing budgets on the internet and what they do is they bring all the youtubers we all go in a hotel they get us excited and we hang out and then on the last day we literally get pushed onto stage in costumes and they're like that's monkeys dance and we're literally there i'm there like holding like a big hamburger any fit channel is wearing like their lululemon stuff and doing stretches and stuff and we're doing all this stuff

while like like uh like kevin hart has a microphone he's like i'm launching a youtube channel and we're all behind him like yeah subscribe to him and then like it's it's like people that want to spend money in marketing will be like wow youtube has Kevin Hart, and look at all those idiots back there. They have hundreds of millions of subscribers. Let's put our money into that. Hamburger. That being said, one of the... That sounds uncomfortable. Was it uncomfortable?

Once you peel back the thin veneer of it all, like when you're a YouTuber, you're like, oh my god, Kevin Hart's here. Let's take a picture with him, and it's like, yo, bro, Kevin Hart actually owes us one for this. if you really break it down what's going on here yeah yeah no he doesn't he you're not just gonna get a picture he owes he like you can invoice him 10k almost and youtube will foot that bill that would make sense yeah it's on the low end you know that's what i was thinking if i you know if i had you and pewdiepie and like all these stars saying go subscribe to him that's a well i actually yelled at them i yelled at them about

that and i don't think that's why i'm allowed back really um this was when like uh this was during the adpocalypse okay and like i was in there and i'm like i'm jewish you're taking my money and i'm jewish no. Almost. I walked in, and they had, like, and to be fair, like, they just did an awesome thing for us. They put us up in the hotel. Will Smith was there, the original point of this story,

even, and so they hook us up, and it's really cool, and I wish, like, you know, there was more time to sit down with, like, the heads of YouTube throughout the year, but there isn't. So you only get 15 minutes. And I don't really want to be like, well, I met Will Smith. That's really awesome.

Thank you. I want to stay focused. And I'm like, why would you turn off ads during the adpocalypse? Why was that even a thing? Why are you showing weakness, you fools? And they're literally like, well, because we, the the whole thing all the news outlets were blah blah and i was like there's a guy in this room that literally like single-handedly destroyed a 100 year old news company like like uh who cares if the news or whatever and there and he literally

said this i remember the the man he was like if you put and i know his name everything i just didn't want to say he was like if you put yourselves in our shoes we were thinking of you know that that uh coo at at pepsi and what he'll have to and i like interrupted which is probably rude i was like i don't care about this guy at pepsi i don't care and this is like hot off the heels where pepsi had that stupid commercial the kendall jenner one i was like they're fucking up their own shit already so you're gonna like we're gonna turn off ads on youtube because like people got mad i'm like dude i'm like take a look around you this is like it's like an influence war essentially and you have infinite bullets in this room just in this room and there's so many other creators like you don't have like bro pepsi

will come back anyone who like just to think that they wouldn't come back i'm like but my issue and the reason why i brought up is i was like why would you go and turn ads off on on everyone's channels without telling anyone they're like we had a blog post i'm like you had a blog post so if you have 75 subscribers or you have 75 million subscribers here's the same 800 word blog post so if you have 75 subscribers or you have 75 million subscribers here's the same 800 word blog post that'll kind of maybe explain you know and and ultimately i was like if you're gonna turn ads off would have been great if i got an email let's say i spent 15k on this awesome video it's gonna be so special this is my entire life my career built on youtube you know like built on youtube like by youtube thank you youtube absolutely i love youtube ultimately but at this point in time i had to

be like turn ads off and it's like you just lose that video there's no ads but youtube knew it was gonna do that which in itself i was mad that they even did that. But like, why didn't you notify anyone? Literally send out an email. Hey, we might turn off ads in the next three days because we're shook. We're scared. It really came down to them just choosing like establishment media presences like CNN, Fox, all that.

Because those never got demonetized. Those have had ads forever in their YouTube clips. Like taking those side instead of people like you and PewDiePiepie and all them which seems like a bad move in the long run youtube has always been star fuckers since i've been here since 2010 that's all youtube's always been is a star fucker like i remember when they gave these channels like the first youtube originals they gave all these channels tons of money and like all these channels i remember like i got paid by like Simon Cowell to go to London England to help launch Simon Cowell's channel and I know that

like Tony Hawk had a channel and Shaq got a channel and there you YouTube's like here's a million dollars and here's a million dollars and here's a million dollars and I remember like that you know from what I heard Philip DeFranco had rallied really hard to be part of that because he had an idea and he got like half a budget or a quarter of a budget that like a Simon Cowell would get. All those channels are dead, except Phil's channel was source fed. That channel did not die then.

That ended up being a successful thing. And it's like, whoa, big surprise. Your own talent are the people that you should have been cultivating. You're trying to get Shaq on YouTube vlogging, but people want to see shane dawson kiss a boy on the lips sorry to say that's what that's it bond shack is busy with icy hot name me one consumer product that shack doesn't endorse you can't it's about time he starts

kissing boys man like people need to up their understanding of how big a YouTube star is. YouTube stars are not talking about me, some Z-list ex-YouTuber, but like the guys who are... Marcus Brownlee is a way bigger star than Andrew Garfield. I don't know who that is. Marcus Brownlee? I'm kidding around. I actually do know,

but only because like ultimately it's like you could say things like the Dolan Twins. You guys know the Dolan's like a massive that's a massive amount of clout there's like two twin brothers and like i i know they black and fitness conservatives is it those half no they're white um but like i i did like i knew of them through the youtube illuminati gathering and i remember looking at their channels i'm like oh it's interesting channel not for me but over time like you know these kids get older they become full-grown human beings now their channel like I'll watch it and I'm like oh there's interesting like you know watching a

channel evolve watching the the creators grow up you know you're watching from like 15 years old to 19 years old it's like a huge time in someone's life and these these these new youtubers just have like an incredible amount of clout like huge clout it's not getting recognized that andrew garfield is the guy made up if you guys don't know who he is he's the second most recent actor to play spider-man people would suck his dick as some sort of major a-list holly guy. But he doesn't have nearly the exposure that a hundred people on YouTube have. Casey Neistat's a way bigger star

than the last Spider-Man. Well, the current one's actually bigger. Yeah, but if Spider-Man takes his mask off and he looks like Casey Neistat, be nice to him. I really enjoy his content. That big schnoz. He's got quite a snout on him. yeah dude that guy's fit as fuck i don't know i'm defending casey i'm sure he defends me on the regular but um no case doesn't give a fuck about you actually

so he actually doesn't like anyone here on this podcast dude i asked him to come on the podcast don't do that they did like youtube illumin YouTube Illuminati, YouTube Illuminati meeting. Casey was like, quick question. Who else fucking hates Woody? Harley does. Those fucking losers. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I asked a question to Casey Neistat.

I want to hear that. What happened when you asked him? Thank you, filthy. Dude, so it was like a two-part question because they were doing this Q&A, Casey and his wife. And I was like, man, what is it like having YouTube in your relationship? Does it, you know, like someone has an opinion. You put yourself on social media, people have an opinion on you.

What's that like? And he answered it and it was pretty cool. He was like, yeah, you know, it's like this mean-spirited aunt just always chirping, talking about how you and your wife get along, what you say, what you did, someone inserting their opinion, and it can become a problem. Then the other question I asked, if he would come on PKA, and he acted like he didn't see that part.

That's my relationship with Casey. Well, I mean, he didn't want to come on. Yeah, also, it's a weird thing to have to answer, right? Because the goodwill of a question can then be lost in kind of the ask of these the follow-up of that right true you know i was like casey how do you how do you reconcile all the success with being so fucking ugly no you gotta shoot your shot sometimes too you want to suck his dick he definitely wouldn't come on the show if i didn't ask so you want to suck his dick of course you

gotta give it a go but would you suck his dick? Casey? Yeah. He's got abs in his 30s. I'm impressed. Well, listen, it's a particular face. It's a harsh face, but that's a man's face. That's like a man's face.

Casey, this guy wakes up in the morning, and he runs, man. He wakes up in the middle of the night. This guy, you know he could do like he could do like a thousand pull-ups i don't think he never has to wake him he doesn't drink coffee because he walks into the mirror every morning he goes oh oh dude never mind okay but he's got he's got so he's got so much charisma like it's like i feel like it's uh it's negated almost like i've like i haven't i haven't ever really thought and really considered maybe you know what maybe it's because i'm an ugly man myself i never really stop and break

down the look of it like literally the only reason i make no i remember once you're cuddly i said oh i am cuddly i said uh i said something about him being ugly and woody i knew what he was a big fan what he was like oh come on man and from then on anytime he comes up i just make fun of him i did watch one of his videos and he is not a looker but he's also got a lot of drones to play with and so maybe i would blow he got in trouble for those drones the faa gave him tons of shit but i will say this if i'm blowing a casey nystat i'm not seeing the guy's face i'm seeing his abs so yeah did i miss the normal pk recording this one is just about dick sucking because my bad it's sorry my bad i don't i'm i'm willing to stay for it i just didn't realize this was committing to filthy

we thought this was your area of expertise top 20 celebrity dicks can i can they be youtubers sure okay harley i'm trying to tell you youtubers are celebrities some of that's what i'm saying though that's what i'm saying yeah that's it dude you talked about youtubers growing up does no one here is going to know chucky 2009 are they no no we don't watch shit content with children. Dude. Yeah, I don't know why I thought everyone would be like, yeah, sure, that guy with like 100,000 subs who welds things. Oh, no, that's Chucky 2010. Sorry about that.

Chucky 2009. Oh, 572,000 subs. Okay, yeah, I way undercounted him. Anyway, I've been watching this guy for like a decade now. He's an OG. But a decade ago, he was like 14. I watched him upload a video of getting on like the honor roll. He was never like academically gifted.

So this was like a super big deal. His parents were happy. They went to a restaurant. This young, bright-faced guy. He has turned into like a white nationalist he read the manifesto from the new zealand shooter so that you know so he would be getting the word out and uh he's he's just he's wildly woke youtube's demonetized everything he's done and i'm like my like he was this fresh-faced kid that That's so funny because I'm...

Look what you fucking turned him into, Woody. Is that a callback to the Will Smith stay-in-school thing you did earlier? Is that what that was? Because I was really... I wasn't expecting that, Woody. I had it planned all along, filthy. Yes.

Wait, are you sure this is the right guy? Because one of his... I'm just on his channel looking at videos. It's field testing the Case 931 diesel. 53 years old and still going strong oh yeah dude so he update on farming oats in life dude the guy has a tractor addiction he has bought i'm gonna guess like 13 tractors and he buys these old junky ones and he fixes like one in 10 so maybe he's finished finished one tractor so far. But it's fun to watch him like, all right.

To me, an unfinished project is like a kind of debt. And here he is wheeling in like on his giant trailer, his 12th tractor to fix someday. I find it really interesting. But yeah, he straight up like read that New Zealand Shooter's Manifesto. That's weird. He often talks about how America is this cesspool of porn addiction and slut glorification.

Now, this oat sowing reminds me of why we need to keep our country this way. This oat sowing reminds me of how much I dislike Jews. And how much I... He's so erotic. Yeah, a Muslim invasion, he has a problem with that. Just looking at the videos on this channel, did all those videos get deleted? I'm just seeing shit about tractors. I'm going to look for it.

Yeah, let's hope it's someone with a very similar name and Woody's just been slandering this poor guy. It'd be so funny if he's like, honestly, I just wanted to talk about my tractor tires. And now I'm being. No, I'm definitely right. So then they set up this one hour thing where we get to go and listen to Will Smith talk. And he's going to field questions for us and stuff.

And I met Will Smith. And he was very nice and cool. Yeah. And then he launched a YouTube channel. That he didn't stick with. So, no, he does he does he still sticks with it he's a great example of someone who's really held it together like that's a like that's why i'm saying like you don't get to be sorry like no disrespect logan

logan paul you don't get to go on instagram be like i'm destined for greater things when will smith has done all that shit you're talking about and he's here like daily vlogs what up like that's that's what i'm saying like that's that's the value here you know there's huge value there um so yeah long story short epic meal time is gonna end um but my future as a content creator moves forward because my passion will be undying because i'm fucking will smith of this shit boy okay now tell me about yourself it's filthy now i'd like you to take 40 minutes as we interrupt and explain who you are yeah we're gonna interrupt i play games online. That's kind of a vibe word to summarize that.

But you like Wings of Redemption? Yeah. Oh, let's get him on the podcast. He wants $10,000. Let's fucking make a side fucking thing for $10,000. And if it makes $9,900, we all go go to vegas he probably like that almost as much we didn't make the 10k he still doesn't care for me because he says that i stole his job on the show completely man at least have some backbone there was an interim between us yeah there was

literally someone else who took his job don't't be a coward. You took his job. You fucked that guy over. I should fight him in the back. You guys got him muscles glasses. I got one of these too. I know how it is. You want to just fucking tuck him away like that, but the fans are like, where is he?

And you're like, come on, fuck. Seven years of fucking telling you guys this shit. Dude. And everyone wants to bring it up. Who is he? He's a comeback for the final he's not fucking coming back ten thousand dollars i got fucking kids to feed man you go to him tell him two hundred dollars he could be on this show next week anyways i got one of those so i

know how it is i got a couple of those actually i have a question hilarious two days ago i actually re-watched the part where you explain like muscles, glasses, divorce, for lack of a better term. And you said that he was a vegan and not really committed to the cause. And only upon rewatching did I ask myself, is he actually a vegan or is this just slander in the Epic Meal Time universe? I'm like, he doesn't even eat meat. He doesn't even eat meat anymore. What's the truth? No he doesn't even eat meat anymore what's the truth no he doesn't eat meat that's the truth no well that that is a truth but that's not why he's not on the show he's not on the show because he thinks i'm like some fucking money grubbing

thieving kike or something like that no no i wasn't suggesting he got he's wrong about that i wasn't suggesting he was kicked off the show for lack of meat eating. I just, I never kicked him off the show. Actually. He, he, he left the show.

Yeah. He quit. Right. Yeah. I never kicked him off the show. I, I thought like this important shit to some people. Okay.

That's important. But like differences, I like this concept that like, if you really want to ruin somebody's good name in the epic mealtime universe you accuse them of being vegan yeah yeah i guess so but then at the same time i feel like uh like i went vegan for like a month and a half two months there so it's like okay you know but i was kind of open about that you did that to lose weight didn't you like a diet i just that was just a side effect it was just a cool thing that happened also, but it's not why

I did it. Did you go vegan because you had a side effect? I just wanted harder boners. What? Boners get hard in the morning. You should have been on last episode when we had our sponsor about boners, but I'm not going to talk about it. Boner sponsor? No, they got to pay for that. Put in the Wings of Redemption Fund. Dude, I'm not doing it.

I don't mean to blow Taylor about his ad read, but I literally signed up for Blue Chew as an experiment based on Taylor's ad read. That's boner stuff? Blue Chew? Yeah. You've heard of Blue Chew, but you didn't know what it was? Get yourself a hard dick, but are you going to have

gas station headache style shit, or what? No. No, it's just Viagra and Cialis. So just get the Taldalafil, Tadalafil, the one that starts with a T. Don't get the Viagra one that starts with an S because that'll give you a headache, according to Kyle. Kyle is our dick pill aficionado.

I am butting in. He likes having a hard dick, that Kyle, right? He loves having a hard dick. He likes having a hard dick all day. There's master's level hard dick and then apprentices like taylor and i who just follow his lead yeah i like a soft dick though you know especially sitting right now i'd be furious if i had a hard dick i'd be furious right now dude but that was the big thing about

like taking any kind of dick pill because you know like you watch tv growing up or movies and there's like the trope of like we're gonna gonna put Viagra in Mr. Stevenson's coffee. And then he's like teaching about history. He's like, what? And his dick's growing. It doesn't do that. You still gotta get horny. That turns into a gay porno, that scene by the way. I know that scene. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, tell me about the code of Hammurabi.

He's like an eye for an eye and then he blows all over the kid's face. I literally don't understand what you do there. We're on a list now. Now while the FBI is watching, he's joking. It's all jokes. Everything we're saying is a joke. The FBI has got to have bigger stuff to look at, right?

No, they don't. I look forward to seeing this pill. I don't understand the concept of a pill that just gets you harder when you're getting harder. Is it gay? Is that gay? Like this pill is going to give you a boner?

That's kind of gay, right? If it's not a woman giving you that hard-on, it's pretty... It only gets harder. I love the take that it's gay to take a dick pill. Well, yo,

this little blue pill is giving you a boner? Bro, that's kind of gay. Dude, guess who invented that pill? Oh, you put that little blue pill inside your body and it's going to make your dick hard? That sounds like you, bro, might be a little gay. A group of boys invented that pill, you queer. How do you like that?

Who do you think? So these men, these men package these pills. You're going to unpackage these pills that men packed, and it's going to give you a boner? That's why I only take one. For all these men? Yeah. Anyways, bro, I don't know.

PK's changed since Wings left. I'm kidding. I'm just joking. That's like six years ago. I know. I know. I'm kidding. That's like six years ago. I know. It only gets you hard when you want to get hard. That's the part that gets me. How does this pill have this intelligence

built into it? All that these kind of pills are, they're just vasodilators. Oh, that explains nothing. It makes your veins and capillaries and arteries bigger so that blood can pass through more easily and your dick is just a blood sponge and so it soaks up way quicker.

Will I finally have vascularity in my bicep? Will that be a thing? See, I literally probably a week ago or so, I was going to work out and I was like, I'm going to take a blue chew before this. See if I get some nice vein poppage. I took one.

What happened to your blood sponge? No discernible difference. But what happened to your blood sponge? Well, I wasn't horny while working out, and so nothing happened. Oh, so you didn't do it. You weren't like, hey, girls, want to come kiss on this blood sponge? You didn't do curls with your cock in your blue chew? No, no.

You didn't do blood sponge push-ups? You didn't do blood sponge push-ups? What a gross way to refer to your dick. You did it. That was you. I know, I know I did that. From your lips. You may have coined that term. That may be forever associated with you.

Guys, we're selling t-shirts. It's coming out. Blood sponge t-shirts. Pick them up. All proceeds are going to go towards $10K to getting you know who on you know what. You know when everything i'm saying is bullshit by the way guys sorry no just lie it's funny you play games you play games online yeah man yeah that's what i do a streamer and a youtuber

uh yep just launched uh my first website actually uh merchandise in on it and everything else today what's the website called filthy robot.Robot.tv Very easy to find. It's hosted through Steam Labs. It's pretty sweet. It's a nice way to consolidate all that shit. It's going on in my life right now. Nice. Looks good. Thanks, man. Oh, it is sick. Yeah, it is cool.

Not a lot of dick sucking on it yet. We're working with that. Sponsorship deals, issues with that. Hopefully soon. I think maybe that could be my next round of merchandise but shout out to care bear 418 yeah man like anyone's getting the blow job care bears got the top spot right now critical schmidt you probably thought you were hot shit with 30 bucks until care bear 418 made you a bitch it's 75 dollars yeah critical schmidt shit with 30 bucks until Care Bear 418 made you a bitch. It's $75. Yeah, Critical Schmidt.

About 30 bucks looking a little schmitty now compared to Care Bear. Care Bear. Oh, man. Fucking loser. Not even winning the donation contest. I don't know what this list is a list of. You're going to stream in 14 hours? Okay. I'm not even winning the donation contest. I don't know what this list is a list of. So wait, donation.

You're going to stream in 14 hours? Yeah, man. Okay. What if this isn't done? What if we're not done yet? Sometimes these go long. Well, I think we already did your intro. Oh.

I like it. Yeah, I like the text you got for the countdown. I'm leaving. Oh, shit. got I'm leaving oh shit I'm blue mode what did you say Tyler I was saying I like the text you have for the countdown it's like it's kind of spooky like you don't know what to expect

next time you go yeah so what I like about this website it's really easy to use it's super modular so it's not very customizable so all this stuff in there has nothing to do with me whatsoever so anything you like compliment me on is just like me pulling in a module it's really easy to use did you use squarespace no this website sucks you guys are very loyal to your sponsors even the ones who aren't sponsoring you right now that's good that's good are you sponsored uh kind of. Okay. You know what? I felt it.

I felt it. Oh, wait. Did I just insult your sponsor? No. No, that's not a sponsor. Wow, you think his sponsor's a bitch? Like, you could say something right now, Woody, and his sponsor would be mad about that? No.

I mean, my sponsor's a fucking great eagle. Look at this. Do you guys remember being like 12, 13, 14, and everybody was into skateboarding, and there was always that kid who was slightly better than average, and he'd be like, yeah, I'm trying to get sponsored. Yeah. I'm trying to get sponsored by a fucking band. Yeah, I went to bed every single night,

every single night going to bed being like, I wish I could get sponsored. Like, Chaz is definitely going to get sponsored. You guys want to know he kick flipped eight steps when i was a kid i was a little better than average surfer and i had a wetsuit sponsor a surfboard sponsor shoes suntan lotion uh i had like six sponsors uh the fuck happened to you clothing and now what the fuck happened to you though i would not have made it as a pro like the best in ocean city new not wasn't even the best in ocean

city new jersey but among the best in ocean city new jersey doesn't get you much on the world stage everything about you now actually is very surfer vibes like now your hair is just that swoop just looks surfer even like your your shirt is just like, it's like I'm a dad, but I used to surf. This shirt's cotton. It's very relaxing and breezy. And trust me, I could whip this off in a second and be hitting the wake, bro.

Yeah. Look at the sun-kissed skin. You're right. Yeah, look at him. Look at him. Look at how pale the three of us are. Look how gray my beard is. Like, oh my god.

Really, my facial hair is always at its longest on this show. Come tomorrow morning, I'll shave. And I don't know. I guess maybe one extra day or two. I'm shocked by how old I've become. You're like 15 years too old to be doing YouTube.

I know this because I'm eight years old too old to be doing YouTube. It's like even just doing YouTube, there's an element of it where it's like I feel like I'm hanging out at the high school I graduated from outside and classes out out and i'm like what's up mrs d still fucking teaching shit gym dude what's going on anyway you need someone i used to hear i'm lonely yeah i back harley let me have the floor for a moment you were you were at that event and you said they're like there were these good-looking teenage boys that you just knew were super you're putting words in my mouth, but kind of basically.

That's what I said. I believe you said sexy teenage boys, and I just downed it. He said charismatic. That doesn't matter. Yeah, definitely. I think it was sexy. Yeah, it was definitely.

So anyway, I'm at this thing. It's a New York Digitor event or something, and I'm also there. Sorry, is this for surfing or related to YouTube? No, it's related to YouTube. Surf channel. Start a surf channel tomorrow. Do it.

Don't be an idiot. Go. Mediocre. Woody the Unexceptional Surfer. We only raised $9,800, so I'm starting a surf channel with this money. Sorry. Step one, my vacation to the Dominican Republic. Anyway, at Backstage, I don't know who any of these people are, but they're all like Justin Bieber, it would seem.

They're 17 years old. Every hair is in place. Their outfits are impossibly cool. And I'm dressed like I'm about to mow the lawn. And I very much felt out of place and that I didn't belong there. You were. Yeah. You were out of place.

Dude, like at the backstage backstage there was like a hallway connecting the various green rooms and these kids are goofing around and they're putting like you know you put your feet on the wall and your butt on the wall and you can kind of climb up it and i'm like i want to do that but they won't like it because i'm old and i don't fit in i if i if i had a teenage boy costume wait I'm totally immature enough. If you have a teenage boy costume, we know it's a costume. It looks way worse. So you were surrounded by a group of teenage boys and you wanted to fit in with them as opposed to them wanting.

So that was your worry? It was like, I'm the one out of place here? Yeah. I want to be a child on the wall. Because there's like, I don't know, 17 of them and one of me. And everyone else was just like making friends and getting along and climbing on the walls and singing. And I'm like this totally uncool older gamer dude. You're like, ah, children.

I made a couple of you. Ah, you guys don't want it though. But okay. No, I know a couple of you. You guys don't want it though, but okay. I know exactly what you mean. I fully understand it. You're like, they're there on like, it's like the new generation and they're climbing on the walls and they're like, fuck off, dad.

We're doing cocaine and popping Xannies and listening to the newest SoundCloud rapper get V-Bucks, Fortnite, bitch. And you're like, I want to be you. I want to be you. Or maybe I'd kick your ass at Fortnite. Although I would, but hypothetically, maybe. But yeah.

Pop one of those blue pills, huh? Then we show them who's boss, right? You think your 17-inch cock is impressive? Look at this. Look at my boner, kids! What? Let me go, copper. I can't breathe.

Kids, gather around. I'm an adult. You have to listen to me. You guys all take a knee. I can't because of this tremendous and impressive boner you see before you. You see before you. Behold. That'd be an assault

on an officer. Poking that thing into them. 100% that's assault. You'd definitely go to jail for that. Dude, that would be hilarious. Someone got assaulting an officer for slapping a cop with their hard teeth. You gotta send your bail money to Bluetooth.

That would be the coolest. You got me in this mess. The coolest guy in prison. The guy that got sentenced an extra eight years because it was first-degree assault because he had a huge hard cock. And they had to make a case in front of a jury that this thing could have done damage. You know what they'd say? They'd be like, you don't just get an erection with this.

You have to be aroused. You have to want to get an erection with this you have to be aroused you have to want to get an erection with this that's not only hard he clearly wanted to fuck now bring up a picture of mr jennings prolapsed asshole look at that just spilling out of there like a half kept on can of beans. Just terrible. To register your super hard cock as a deadly weapon. I like this idea. Oh, hell yeah. You can register your dick.

It's important to say super because it's like a hard dick. Yeah, we all got a hard dick. Super hard dick. I need the pills. Or I'll be honest, just go vegan for two months. You'll wake up super hard dick. I mean, doesn't everybody wake up with a hard dick every day? No, no, but I swear when I wasn't eating meat, it was super hard dick.

Like, he's waking you up. Like, you're opening your eyes. He's like, yo, wake up. Wake up, bitch. You're like, oh, you're here. You're like, bro, I've been here for an hour. I'm vegan. I'm awake awake let's fucking blow this load bro we can do back to back before breakfast you're here i love soy bacon

how long did you have to go vegan before you're like man i'm getting some great dick results i did it was like four minutes i was like i literally just stopped for like a day and i was like hello you have i when did my dick get here i'm not sure about the cause and effect on that then like no no it was it i was just joking around it wasn't uh it wasn't that i was also going from like an intense like keto diet so i was eating tons of meat and then i went to vegan so like maybe that has a factor who knows could just be changing that could be a billion different a billion different things. But I ended up doing that for two months. And then I was like, that was cool.

That was nice. I feel like I'm not vegan by any choice other than I just did this. So let's go get fucking steak. And like I said, I had a steak. And I was like, oh, it's the best. It's the best. This is the best thing oh it's the best it's the best this is the best thing this is the best if you believe in God then why the fuck did he make it so tasty we have to kill all these motherfuckers and we got to get him on the grill right now right now let's get it and I'm like I'm back I'm like

I'm back and I'm like and I'm never gonna be gone again I'm like that was cool that was an experience I feel like I deserved to have that experience I earned it but now that i had this steak this one bite i will fucking hunt for my own food before i let the meat get taken away it's just way better like have you seen all these these news stories now from like mainstream outlets like all seemingly like in the last year or two posting shit like in, in the future, you are going to have to eat maggot burgers and cricket fries and things like that. That was a typo, though.

Keep going. Just keep going. Really, it's at work. Maggot burgers? Let's just keep going. Keep going. Maggot burgers. You know how someone would yell at someone they don't like

you maggot you dirty maggot get out of my town i was literally gonna like put it on notepad then while you guys discussed it just swap out letters as i try to figure it out too far with it but the bug shit what the fuck is up with that it's not organic nobody wants to eat bugs unless you're chinese and i base that entirely on documentaries i've seen where they eat scorpions off of sticks and they seem to be like stoked on it but here crickets scorpions chinese people chinese people are eating bugs oh yeah look up then we gotta start eating bugs bro yeah dude they're beating us economically they know they know they know better than we do now but we're taller and bigger that's true. That's true

They own our there's some big might be the scorpions. I think it's worth And what does it do to your dick bugs? I mean, this is really the question can you give it an exoskeleton if you? On that bad boy Condom just grows. It doesn't have to go flaccid anymore. It curls up with a shell like a roly-poly. Yeah. Into your body almost.

You got the orexoskeleton. That's stupid. That's so dumb. Yeah, it's bad. Well, I like dumb shit. Harley. He went for it. Did you finish The Three-Body Problem?

The book you recommended for me? No. How crazy is that? I feel like that's the ultimate dick move. It's like yo read these three books. It's 5,000 pages They're like, oh I read it you read I'm like I didn't read that out of time for that That's totally what happened. No, I all these audiobooks are about 40 hours long each It's true. And the third book is the longest book. Oh, I know Double the length I'm at the halfway point where i'm like and the book should be ending now and there's a whole other half um but no i i do

desperately still stand behind that book and have recommended it to multiple people since since then i just still haven't finished the last book dude it's it's complicated it's the most complicated shit ever dude i'm so glad you said that. Well, because it's complicated. It's hard to track. It's real sci-fi stuff. Now imagine everyone's names are like Liu Shiqin.

Shiqin Liu. That's true. Shiqin Li. And it's like, what the fuck now? I like cultural because it's cultural. But I get angry when authors use the same three fucking letters at the beginning of the name. I don't angry when authors use the same three fucking letters of the beginning of the name.

Like I don't want to, I don't want two people in the same book with J in the beginning of their name. Cause I just mentally abbreviate that. Right. And when there's an X, when you get an X, an X is like,

Oh, this is the guy with X in his name. There's only one of these. Yeah. This is a Chinese book. There. Everyone has a fucking X. There's an L and an X and everyone's name.

So you're reading it and you're like, which one are you? And then you feel racist, because in your head, you're picturing the same person, even though they're different characters. And in your head, you're like, this is not a racist train of thought. This is because the words look the same,

and you go down a path. And I'm not racist. All right. I picture this character as being 5'5 with dark hair and dark eyes. All right. I picture this character as being 5'5 with dark hair and dark eyes. Actually, the book describes them. And that's what they look like.

The three-body problem has led me down the road to a couple other sci-fi books and this idea of like time travel is in a lot of them and in immortality i'm trying to say and it's kind of they create these interesting thought experiments on how society changes when you introduce immortality or immortality for the rich which is you know another interesting thing so good stuff i don't want to spoil three body problem but if you have like i don't know a thousand hours the next time i'm on i'm coming back on in a couple weeks i'll have it done well you know i could tell you the end now if you want to know i don't want to do that i'm just but maybe harley has another book recommendation for woody now har? So you could have it.

Yeah. Well, actually, it's a book. It's a book, and it's a slash. It's a show. So you could just watch the show instead. But have you watched The Expanse? I'm reading that right now, actually. I really like The Expanse.

Oh, so you're reading the book? Yeah. So I heard that the book was really good, and that got me to watch the show. And apparently Jeff Bezos was a huge fan of the book. So he wanted the show. So when the show and i want and apparently jeff besos was a huge fan of the book so he wanted the show so when the show got canceled by season three and season three was like literally 10 on 10 television it's amazing i like where this is going yeah uh jeff besos like bought it up right

away he's like no that show's continuing because i love the books so it's called the expanse and there's uh they're on season season four is coming up and it's like really realistic sci-fi i can't speak to the book at all but for the show it's literally it's like one of the best sci-fi shows that i've seen in a long time and it's really real and it's gritty and it's awesome and the acting's good and uh yeah what's that book like though there's eight of them so i'm on book six right now and it's pretty it's pretty damn good, actually. It's not super, super hardcore sci-fi. It's a lot of humankind and space kind of stuff, so it's a bit of extrapolating how the impact of basic space

is going to impact human culture. That's kind of really interesting. There's belters in the book? Yeah. And how do they write how they speak in the book is that written in a particular way yeah really heavily accented kind of tough to make out uses um kind of a compilation of other languages like earth languages now yeah yeah in the show it's just interesting to hear them talk and interact they're like kind of like it's like they're they were born on the asteroid belt

right yeah so they're belters. And so they're like, gravity was weaker than ours. So when you're born on Mars, you're a pretty fucking chill-ass person. You're weaker too. You're stronger, I think, from the gravity or the artificial gravity

or whatever it is. But I understood that Mars was like pinnacle of technology and stuff in this book and like so they're like the train the best they like eat the best they like and they want to be like completely standalone from earth but you know earth we're like no we that's us you give us your money so it's like earth is earth you know earth is always shitholes but like then you have like the belters who are born on the asteroid belt and it's like there's like a dynamic of those three but then

there's like a bigger much bigger issue concern thing to consider as usual and you know that always that's always interesting to me where the first like first little bit it's like fuck martians fuck martians they killed my dad and then like episode nine it's like fuck martians fuck martians they killed my dad and then like episode nine it's like yo martians even though you killed my dad i fucking hate these guys even more let's fuck them you know but the show's great i would i i recommend it yes i think some of the better sci-fi that i've ever ever watched on tv and what's the name oh you watched the show too yeah what's the show what's the show to book like? What's that like?

Yeah, so I thought I went back to the books because the show was good enough. I didn't actually love the first series, the first season of The Expanse on the show. But then getting back into it, like I kind of watched the rest of the seasons and binge watched a bunch of them. I'm like, wow, this is really fucking good sci-fi. So I think it's actually pretty – it's similar, right? Like a lot of the themes are there. They've done a pretty good job with the original work i think um it's it's a really good translation of the book to the show i think from my perspective and to what you said actually and to anyone that will watch the show yes the first season was and it's always annoying

when someone's like telling you the first 10 hours aren't good but then you're like i don't want to fucking 10 hours but the reason why i did is because the third season was out and i saw the third season on rotten tomatoes at 100 it was so good and that's just very rare and it was an incredible third season and i also knew that amazon was buying it so that it was going to get a special care so yeah the first season was to to speak to that was a little tricky to get through but i did it because i'm like i know it gets good i know it's gonna be here i like sci-fi shit and yeah that that episode where that fucking speed racer dude went right through the ring you know i'm talking about yeah that's fucking you'll see there's gonna be yeah it's good that's in the book too i like the idea that

jeff bezos the richest man on the planet the richest man in the known universe really liked a tv show and he didn't want it canceled so he just paid to make it keep going goddamn right yeah it's very very bruce lane for quality of life right yeah it's on a different scale very bruce wayne like lighting up a cigarette inside like the bar when i'm like i just bought this place so yeah we could smoke inside um that uh yeah i remember when I saw pictures of him, and I was like, oh, I'm like, he's getting jacked? Remember the pictures of Jeff Bezos? He was like, fit?

He's got his leather vest on, yeah. He was all jacked, yeah, and he's like, you're like, what's going on? Why is this happening? And then you find out he's going through a divorce, and you're like, ah, you got to get this back. Back, holler at the Blue Chew boys. Let's get hard.

Bluetooth.com slash Harley. I'll get your dick hard. Me. We got discounts on boners, boys. You sign up. I heard some of you PKA listeners want to get a hard dick. Well, the Sauce Boss is here to get your dick hard. And they don't send pills.

He just comes over and fluffs it. Yeah, just a little slap. Come on, I don't have much time. I need lube. That mustard will do. Oh, that would be the worst. Yeah, that's bad. A little spicy grape poupon.

Taylor, if you're Jeff Bezos, which book do you turn into a TV show for your own entertainment? Oh. I would redo Game of Thrones, but better, and with billions of dollars behind it. Actually, you know what I would do? I would just do the last two seasons again. That's all I would do with Jeff Bezos.

Or I'd do Lord of the Rings again and keep it mostly the same, but with cooler trolls. what fuck that series that series is why what's wrong with fucking lord of the rings it's awful it's like it's like 10 generations back in the world like okay oh a lot to it sure like a lot of literary tradition owes a lot to this this kind of the genesis of this shit but it's boring it's uninteresting it's i don't think it's all that well written it kind of goes on on this weird kind of tangents with this shit it is poorly written and that is what's true like it i i've actually conceded that before the writing it's also very gay he will go through well i mean it's a gay series it is a little gay it's kind of hard

you're saying yeah a lot of hardness thank god God they didn't have Bluetooth while they were trying to throw away the fucking ring, or they'd just both been erect. I think it was fine. It was a great children's story. It was written as a children's story. Especially when they zoom in on Sam's super dry load. Those hobbits fucked each other. Share the load, Mr. Frodo. Stroking him

off as the eagles are flying. But no, Lord of the Rings is one of the best stories of all time. Was that shit bread they had? Was that shit bread? Lembas's that shit bread lembas bread lembas bread yeah you know photo drops a load on the lembas bread sam gamgee spreads that shit there's a part in lord of the rings i think they're about to fight a big spider in the dark or something but they fuck each other instead lobs lair yeah they spend three pages literally three pages describing how dark it is. It's like dark, darkety dark, so dark you can't see your feet, so dark you can only hear what you're walking on. Such blackness, I couldn't even see the light along Sam Gadget's rock.

I can't describe. I still found it with my tongue, however. Three pages to describe that it's dark out. I could smell Sam's cum outside the cave, and it directed me the right way. With the power of the ring, I will make him cum. He does the same thing that Gur Martin did with feasts. Where every time Gur Martin would be like,

and then also at the Red Wedding. Let me tell you about this table. Fortunately, the blood from the bosom of the woman didn't spray onto the peach pie. Which was sitting there hot, ready to be eaten. J. jr tolkien did that too and it was infuriating during the books when i would read it before the movies even came out that i would be like reading up to the battle of minas tirith or something or the

battle of helms deep and you'd be like oh shit it's been building forever it's been building oh he just spent three pages on the kind of knickers they're all wearing then he'd be like three four five pages maybe and then the battle would be over and there was always a big feeling of like what the fuck come on a little what does that happen he writes songs there he writes songs and even at the time i would be like fuck this i'm not reading his songs i'm not reading his his poems uh he'd like have Gimli singing. When you read something in a book and internally you're like, yeah, fuck that.

I'm not taking that little bit and putting it into the universe because that's dumb and gay. That's what I did with Gimli singing and shit. I'm like, I don't want my tough dwarf singing about missing his... You're a fool if you don't think Gimli fucks other male Gimlis in the ass. You're a fool if you don't think Gimli fucks other male Gimlis in the ass.

You're a fool if you don't think that. I mean, I've always been very progressive. You think dwarves are that insecure, bro? They're fucking born in the mountains, fucking chugging cum, I promise you. If you ever for a second think that Gimli was not getting fucked and fucking and drinking cum

from his fucking his fucking big cup? I promise you, you got it twisted, dog. I'm telling you, all those dwarves fuck each other. That's for sure. All the elves fuck each other, and it's only the men causing all the problem. We're out there like, that's gay.

You're sucking that dick? Hey, give me the rings. Let's fuck all this shit up. We should have been sucking each other off like the dwarves. G for sure you know that's the thing gimli is on the books fucking loves his fucking sloppy top skills he talks a lot he's like and you get my suck and my ass yeah realistically realistically the dwarves all fuck each other well that's what there's no homosexuals is it it is implied that the dwarves all fuck each other. Well that's what was so controversial in the first one. There's no homosexuals there. It is implied that the dwarves all fuck each other.

Is that true? No. They all suck at each other's hairy butts. When Gimli and Legolas are together, if you rewatch that movie and pretend that they're lovers, you know, fuck each other. An elf would never fuck a dwarf. Well that's why Legolas was kind of outcast because he wanted that stank hole. That's what was even more controversial is that Legolas

was a power bottom with a meaty, stinky dwarf on top. And because Legolas' dad that would have been so crazy if I remembered his name. Proceed. No, continue. I like where this is going. It's better than The hobbit it is better you're almost at the silmarillion level just keep going between legolas and gimli would have been real it would have been it wouldn't have been like azog whatever the fuck that white dwarf was i'll

see azog azog the white orc when the hobbit white Fuck white orcs. If I could snap like that purple bad guy in Avengers. Lord of the Rings. Ruin every bit. Every little, every copy of The Hobbit disappeared from this earth. I would do that.

Fuck it. That is the worst adaptation. That's what you'd use your infinity gauntlet for to remove the gauntlet. I also don't know the other powers. Are you talking about

the movies, The Hobbit movies? Yeah, they're terrible. Yeah, so like I actually was like I thought Lord of the Rings and I still do. I actually watched the recent and I was like are you talking about the movies the hobbit movies yeah they're terrible yeah so like i i actually was like i thought lord of the rings and i still do i actually watched the recent i was like lord of the rings i was like watching i was like it's fucking amazing and it holds up i love the movie it's great and then the whole every second i'm watching it every second i'm watching lord

of the rings i can't help but think i am so happy I didn't have to fucking read this shit. Like I am so happy that someone spent $5 million on this shot for me to be interested right now. And I am good. But words on a paper saying that he's hiding behind this log and that's an exciting part of the book. Absolutely not for me. Definitely not. And he takes forever. He does. The movies are great.

It's a pretty good way to do descriptions. You don't have to read that shit for 20 pages yeah his book like the way that jr tolkien wrote it is like it's clear because like he had problems with his family while he was writing it because he was losing his mind making up languages in his own room just in a fantasy world like there it's clear like just stream of thought sometimes in lord of the rings will be like and they were about to march towards to march towards Isengard to attack Saruman, and then the Ents came in, but then this other patch of land is where the Easterlings lived nearby, and they farmed gold from this,

and they also had the biggest silver mines. And happy singing song time. I'm going to sing a song now. And then he'd be like, but we're not talking about that. Back to this. In fact, we're singing. We're singing a song right now. It's time now we're gonna sing about how mary and pippin want to fuck and and smoke pot long bottom leaf and all that but i've said before lord of the

rings is one of the few series where i will say knowingly the movies are better than the book it's the story itself that is so good and the movies do a way better job even though they're 12 hours long or 10 hours long or whatever that's fine i thought they're great you gotta watch the extended cuts too oh i do yeah i think the movies are incredible i think the movies are great and like you know and i and watching it again like you got to give it credit because a lot of things during that time don't hold up and you know what actually does hold up incredibly well to this day? Anything with Blue Chew? Yeah. Hey, you want to hold up.

You're holding up longer than four hours. Call your doctor. He'll suck you up. The Matrix. The Matrix is so good. They're doing a new one, right? They're doing a fourth one? Yeah, that's what we do.

We're like, yo, this is so good. Do it again. one right they're doing a fourth one yeah that's what we do we're like yo this is so good do it again dude i'm the only asshole in the world who doesn't suck keanu reeves dick constantly like i look at him and i'm like yeah but that's how you are that's you though i've gathered that about you you're like oh yeah everyone likes this not even that good that's not true at all that's you since day one since i met you no you you can't remember i like it was like birthday i was like birthday cake let's cut up some birthday cake you're like everyone likes birthday cake but what about i don't like this never happens good too this never happened

but i do i actually i thought that this is a bad example because it's never happened i made it up but you are a little bit of a contrarian to that extent, no? I don't think so. Good luck defending yourself with that one. Let me hear why you don't like Keanu Reeves, and I want to hear why it's not fueled by the fact that you want everyone to shut the fuck up about Keanu Reeves. Maybe you nailed me there. There's a couple things happening.

I actually do like Keanu Reeves, the actor. He's given every impression that he's this wonderful, wholesome, perfect guy the world needs more of. But do I want Keanu Reeves the actor he's given every impression that he's this wonderful wholesome perfect guy the world needs more of but do i hate keanu reeves to bring back um bill and ted's most excellent adventure no i don't want to see a 50 year old like try that role again it looks cringy and i'm a guy who's good with cringy uh keanu reeves well you say that you say that now you're gonna get bill and ted the remake the reboot and it's gonna be logan pa You say that, now you're going to get Bill and Ted, the remake, the reboot, and it's going to be Logan Paul and KSI. And now you'll get your dream. Keanu Reeves didn't do it, and YouTubers are being put on the pedestal

that you've always wanted. I think they've finished filming already. Wow, you're really hitting all the keys here. You know, they're making that, or they made that. I think they're just editing it now. And what's the other one? And so Keanu Reeves is Bill? The Matrix.

Whichever one he was before. Ted, you want to know a side note to what you're saying? The day that they came, they were playing the different roles, each of them. And the day they got there, the director was like, you guys are switching. He's like, you're Bill. You're Ted. And that was right then and there, like last second. I don't believe you.

Honestly, whoever fucking told me that's a liar then, someone Google it. Anyways. I'm tempted to google it yeah and they're doing the matrix again too and i just worry that like i don't know can he still pull off the matrix that guy was like 25 or something it it's weird yeah yeah you could pull off the fucking matrix bro it's fucking keanu reeves you're the only person i would ever ever doubt his power although i think like these late sequels have got to be better than the the perpetual remakes like aren't we on like the fourth telling of spider-man that's the exact same story yeah is that that i don't understand at all like i haven't gotten near them you're absolutely right no but he's right

about this it's one thing we never ever ever no matter what we don't need an origin story movie that's not what we need you literally you start that movie okay you start it and make incredible hulk movie you start it's like yeah he's the incredible hulk fucking the big and great you know you know you're in camembert shut up shut up you want to see him smash here we go shut up like that's how it should be even like spider-man i'm so happy that we're not getting the like ben no with great power comes great response it's like we know we all know because the movie came out last year you guys rebooted it so everyone knows everything everything batman no matter what no matter anything the only

thing that you can have an origin story it's interesting it needs to be someone like the joker and then it's like okay yeah i don't know what the fuck has ever happened with this guy but i i'm so sick of origin stories and so sick of like i'm going to the lab honey i'd be like oh yeah don't get caught in a gamma ray blast and but even this like this all this shit ages so poorly right this is part of the problem i have with the lord of the rings the same with this stuff like this this is these are all like themes from like 30 40 50 years ago when these fucking comics are older when these comics are being created and they don't scale well they don't they haven't they haven't aged well like these aren't things that are interesting or they're not the same fears the nuclear fear

that causes this radiation and these these transformations right where are the kind of modern superheroes where's x-men wait that's the x-men and that's why i've always liked the x-men is because like captain america and iron man it's like there's an alien coming and he's gonna get all the magic stones and when he snaps we're gonna disappear he's bad alien we gotta go kill him all the humans let's go and it's like okay yeah space battle fine and x-men's like i'm a mutant but i'm also a man and now you're having this deep philosophical discussion is like are you a man do we consider you a human being or are you less than and what rights do we grant you and then it's like you're granting a mutant rights but then there are human beings on plant on this planet that don't even have full right

like and it's like this real life like thing that's timeless it'll never like that there's no like nuclear fear or like anything like that or war we're not at war it's just humans and some of us are different and how do we deal with that and that's why i always loved the x-men i always thought it was so interesting you know people say that like you know uh uh magneto's like malcolm x and professor x is like uh martin luther king and it's like these two ideologies and it's like you know someone like magneto it's like he's taken from the it's like you know someone like magneto it's like he's taken from the past he was like you know like as a jew in the holocaust it was like persecuted it's like interesting it's people it's human beings it's not like the purple spaceman's gonna

come and take all the magic rings and snap you no it's just like yeah i've always liked that about x-men i hope they yeah here's's the superhero problem that I think is interesting. It's the power balance, right? So as superheroes age, and I mean through time, not the character aging, they deal with bigger and bigger problems. So out of the gate, Spider-Man has these powers. And what can he do?

He's a gymnast who can pick up the back end of a car, and he has a web useful for tying up robbers um harley you're froze for us there you go all better right so that's that's spider-man in a nutshell pick up a car mostly you know and probably throw a manhole cover really well stuff like that and then he saw he cures like i don't know the neighborhood burglar and then the next thing is like a slightly bigger problem then before long he's taking on like, I don't know, the neighborhood burglar. And then the next thing is, like, a slightly bigger problem. Then before long, he's taking on, like, you know, a troop of bad guys. The rumor is that the next big baddie is Galactica.

Galactica is the size of a solar system. Get your head around that. Galactica's mean thing that he does is he eats planets. Entire planets. galactica's mean thing that he does is he eats planets entire planets so i'm not that great at my lore but the silver surfer goes scouts out which planet is the best one i i would correct you on everything and i wasn't going to be petty but you everything you're saying is accurate it's galactus oh thank god i wasn't going to be petty and correct you but you brought it up yeah thank you that's a galactus silver surfers his scout he finds the right

planet galactus goes over there he eats the planet etc now spider how the heck is spider-man i know he's the sony thing and uh i don't know black widow and like the other little bunch of avengers even the good ones like thor, struggle with solar system-sized strength baddies. And Incredible Hulk, I get it, I get it. He's really strong. He can throw tanks. This guy would eat Incredible Hulk and not notice him, I guess. How do they take these superheroes and scale them over time

as the bad guys get bigger and badder and bigger and badder is interesting. Harley, you looking to get in? Did you see dr strange yeah yeah he fights he fights a celestial being and celestials are on like that's the ranking in marvel that are like the bigger than life type you know dharmam was celestial did you see Guardians of the Galaxy 2? Yes. Okay, well, Star-Lord was like half celestial and you saw the planet. My wife watched Aquaman last night and I watched for about five minutes before I could stand to be in the room any longer.

That's not, I didn't like that movie at all. I don't like that movie. I heard it was good. It's not good. It's not, but don't take my word for it. Everyone says it's good. I thought it was so fucking goofy. I could have told you that Aquaman would suck and I don't watch any of those movies. Some guy on the jury says it's good. I could have told you that Akamai would suck,

and I don't watch any of those movies. Some guy on the JRE said it was good. Yeah, I didn't. Well, if it was on JRE. It's all true. I thought it was really weird anyways. Yeah, and I think... So the Celestials are...

The movies in Harley? Yeah, Harley's having a band. That's just a class that's really, really powerful. Can you hear me? Kind of. Yeah, we just lost you for a second. Oh, I'm back. Hi.

How are you? Kind of on the flip side of what Harley was saying about the X-Men being interesting because of the themes they cover, I also find villains that are so one-dimensionally evil super boring as well. That's why Thanosos was i'm gonna eat your planet we'll see how i'm gonna eat your planet is he a good guy or bad guy he's

gonna eat the fucking planet what's his motivation he's hungry we have to kill him why he's gonna eat the planet that's that's a cool thing about him now again i'm not i'm outside my depth in the lore but he's not a bad guy he's not inherently evil he wants to eat the planet well he knows there's people on it you have pretty fucking bad really you're a man eater you he wants to eat your kids well i mean i might not like him but that's how cows feel about you and pigs shit yeah so um am i am i galactus a little bit yeah and uh thanos was another one thanos as awful as he was you know and wanting to snap and kill him he was motivated for he thought he was the hero of the story what an idiot yeah like hitler yeah hitler too was like this is a good thing that i'm doing he woke up every day

he's like this is a good thing harley admitted actually i'm gonna end up with hitler kind of right you know it's a mixed bag harley's jewish i wanted to ask you so anyway harley Harley's Jewish I'm on the internet doing this like Hitler fucked up he fucked up yeah I don't see Hitler on the show that's true and he'd be

every time I get my dick sucked I'm like he's not every time I get my dick sucked I'm like Hitler's not getting his dick sucked yes one point for the blue team for almost 80 years. Ooh, blue choop. Maybe he's still in Argentina. Who knows? You're saying

Galactus is going to come eat the planet? Spider-Man has to web him up. That's the point. How they handle the power balance. I know you mentioned it. Spider-Man is going to web him up and Hulk's going to sock him. Punch him real good.

That's my point. Really important moving parts on a spaceship. You gum that shit up with some spider spunk, it's probably going to do a lot of damage. A hundred percent. That's at least one thing to slow him down. But you know what's interesting is the whole Galactus concept is, did you know that there was a Marvel zombies timeline? That was like a fun little thing they did for a minute there.

Where the Marvel superheroes became zombies and they want to eat each other uh and they want to eat humans but they're conscious enough that they know that they're superheroes and every time they're getting hungry they're like oh god i don't want to do this and then they start eating humans that are like spider-man no so anyways the marvel zombies have essentially taken over the planet and and galactus comes like silver surfer comes through first uh-huh and galactus comes and when galactus gets there he comes to eat the planet and the hulk is there tossing every single zombie superhero at him like grabbing them and throwing them and they're eating Galactus.

So when the Marvel zombies think Galactus is like, I'm going to eat you fuckers. He's like, what is going on? They're eating me. They're eating me. And it's like, it's just an interesting twist because they're like, Galactus is coming. That's fucking food for a century.

Let's eat this bitch. But there's a power imbalance. I don't know how Spider-Man deals with Galactus. Spider-Man doesn't deal with Galactus man but that doesn't happen the fantastic four deals with galactus yeah you have you have different heroes for different things okay so if it's like the really long arms i don't know how the thing the guys in space yeah yeah that's that's who deals with galactus they deal with galactus they're incredible maybe yeah avengers avengers i just like the riddler you're not gonna get you're not gonna

get spider-man you're not gonna get spider-man like one-on-one with galactus it's just not a thing that will happen because like you don't get your friendly neighborhood spider-man when there's like a gigantic man in a fucking purple costume about to eat the planet everyone knows that's like everyone that's you get dr doom who's like i'm gonna fuck all you up tomorrow but first we're gonna handle the big guy in the purple costume he's gonna eat us and then i'll fuck your shit up that's you know the power and balance is so interesting like like on at least in Marvel. I find it interesting.

I find it uninteresting because always the movie goes like this. They just go like, well, suddenly they have extra powers or a magic device or something. They don't. That's anime, first of all. And don't ever disrespect anime like that again. Like Captain America. I'm dead. I remember my grandfather's training, though.

From the grave, he spoke to me. Now. And this power is getting unlocked now. Captain America, not that powerful. But all of a sudden, his leadership skills become exactly the same. Excuse me, not that powerful? Exactly the thing that he needs. That's America's ass. That's America's ass.

Well, Captain America that's thing is like iron man could be captain america spider-man with a little bit of training could be captain america right uh black panther could be captain america but in in this crazy ass world and these are this is where marvel gets really interesting always in my in my idea like my opinion the the dynamic is where it gets interesting is like captain america is always the beacon of good and bad and bad so like so like if you have no matter what and like it's the gray area like civil war was done really well in the comics and stuff it's the gray areas that are interesting and how you navigate those gray areas where you have like that's why

like a character like Punisher where he's like I'm gonna fucking murder all these people and you're like you know that's not right what you're doing he's like I don't fucking care you're like I see what he's doing though I get it like it's a gray area he's a superhero he's not a villain but he's it's it's in that gray area and captain america his superpower ultimately is he does what is right and he is honest and that's like so valuable as a leader because yeah iron man could beat him up but you're like this guy's got skin in the game he's got money as a a a motivation here you know what i mean like spider-man he's like a child like you know dr strange has his like loyalty to the mystic arts first and foremost you need a fucking big dick american

no playing around boy this is how it goes you'll notice that's the american way yeah captain canada's fucking shit canada would be like hey you know i don't want to be in charge here but i'm i'm not storming in there it seems kind of risky let's call our buddy captain america he's gonna go in you you hold the shield today how's it feel bud yeah you're in charge now go get him we just called mr trudeau and see i shutting us down boys i know i'm just saying we could go watch leafs game instead when you put it back like this is what kills me about like some of the stuff with the hobbit again right it's very very black and white right so we're talking about the grayers being interesting

in the areas where there's not this ridiculous power difference where like you know it's a plot device to make it that becomes a more interesting story to tell becomes more interesting like cinema to watch so i don't know like i hated some i've hated a lot of the superhero stuff i'm i'm a fucking nerd i'm a gamer i this is stuff that I grew up with and engaged with, and I really kind of hate where some of the stuff has gone. I guess it's you hated, but you were incorrect. What's your series that you show loyalty to? For what?

For comics? Alien? Like Alien or like horror movies? What's your... I do sci-fi mostly. You guys were asking, I think Woody asked Taylor, what book do you want to see done next? I want to see... Do you guys were asking like uh i think what do you ask taylor like what what book do you want to see done next right i want to see do you guys know the malazan book of the fallen i do not okay that's a fucking it's a huge 10 part series of this like

super gritty kind of 10 part you mean 10 books yeah like super gritty book we'll wait for hbo 2024 yeah sure but i'm kidding we need the next hbo one right we need the next fucking game of thrones and you say this is it this will be like this would be i think that would be a world that would be able to survive that because it's such a complicated kind of complex nuanced world with a shit ton of gray in it and a lot of really cool things that happen in it and entities of all sorts of different power levels so you get this kind of you get these situations that arise that can that will arise naturally in this world that make for interesting uh interesting god are you talking about malazan

book of the fallen yeah it's a series yeah i have changed memories of ice dead house gates midnight tides gardens of the moon dude these are fantasy bro you said sci long books This is fantasy This is fucking gay elves fucking each other again, bro The shortest book is 26 hours and about two-thirds of them maybe, yeah, are over 40 hours But he is, and the author's Canadian by the way, the author's Canadian

Oh, so it's gay? There will be definitely apologies after the blowjobs Let me give you just like a random like not not spoil this but there's just one this two set of characters right like one of these characters has like permanent memory loss basically and because he did this fucking super horrible thing early in his life he's immortal lives forever he's been around for literally the scale of time in the series is crazy he's been alive for literally

hundreds of thousands of years and he wanders the earth with this one guy who's basically been assigned as his guardian so he never does this shit again and he's a kind of a smart guy of science like really intelligent really interested in like helping people but he did this horrible fucking thing in his past and the whole point of his guardian is to keep him away from their friends they've been together forever to keep him away from the things he's find interesting to never trigger that occurring again in him and it's like this type of complexity of the characters is super super interesting to read about for me is the 10th book the last one uh i i the guy who wrote it they did some like spin-off series it's like another six or something

and so i think there's more in the world but but that series of 10 was, I suppose I believe start and stop series. That's a huge plus for me. Like, like I've, I've had two books. That's what you're asking. Yeah. One's game of Thrones actually.

And the other is the King killer Chronicles where it's like, like you get into it. The King killer Chronicles. I I'm like, that was like addicted to making progress in that book. I like, let's want to know what happened next tell me a thing tell me a thing and i like the second one more than the first one which not

everyone did and then i find out the third one is like game of thrones like oh yeah you know it's been nine years since the last book yeah the authors had a divorce and kind of lost motivation and now he's rich as fuck so we hope he does a third book. Every so often he gets lip service. And it's like, fuck that. I am new to this sci-fi book world and fantasy. There must be a history of finished series that I could do instead.

I don't want to get in any more unfinished books. Get into that series. If you have to pick one, it's not sci-fi, it's fantasy, but it's super fucking good. I just don't know that I have 16 days, 5 hours, and 8 minutes to commit to something. You do. Well, if you do,

I promise you do. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, yeah. Alright, real quick before we jump on to the next thing. A couple words from wonderful sponsors. Express VPN. Admit it.

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That's what I was going to say, buddy. From your lips. I was going to say that. From my lips to God's ass. Last time you were on the show, you were talking about Facebook and the business model and how shareable it is

and stuff like that. How's that worked out over the long term? What do you think? Yeah, but I was going through a gay thing then. Okay. I was sucking a lot of dick. I'm kidding's it's a new character no no that was real yeah i remember i was grateful the facebook thing no the dick sucking thing that was what brought out my gratitude and i still do think about i got a whole vlog on porn up no no the facebook

guys uh 14 dicks today let's get it done first what am i having for my cereal you were saying you know if you want to get sort of known facebook has a sharing culture where people just take what you're doing show it to the next guy it can blow up you can get a billion i think i think facebook is uh i still believe that facebook is the key to like being like a life-changing tool like if someone's like i'm gonna go and i'm gonna be a famous youtuber well you better be fucking handsome and have a lot of followers on tiktok then little billy if that's what you want to do you want to stand out but facebook is like and obviously obviously people get successful on YouTube every single day, but if I had to approach it today and I had to, you know, get a billion views again, I would, yeah, I would start off by going to Facebook because, and I said it before,

everyone on Facebook, most likely you already have a network. So if you want to get a hundred people to follow you on twitter that might be difficult because you tweet like shit um or if you want a hundred people to follow you on instagram you ugly idiot no one's gonna ever i'm talking to myself by the way so like on facebook i got a hundred people i'm fucking related to these dummies you know i have a community everyone on facebook has a community already most likely it's one of the oldest social networking apps it's the uh you know you have your your family of people that care so if you went and made a face that's true if you went and

you made a facebook video being like i'm gonna be a gamer because we don't have enough of those am i right filthy fuck come on i'm filling a market that people are just demanding man supply and demand stepped up yeah you know so you don't have to solve the void supply and demand that you stop uploading gaming content demand so like yeah it's like if someone wanted to stand out well then you can go and you can make like a gaming thing and you can go and share it and you could appeal to your family even you get a couple of these this is called social capital it's not a tangible thing how many how much social capital do you have like i you know i have a lot in the sense that I can call up

a restaurant and be like, hey, I'm the baking guy from five years ago, remember? I need, I'll post on it if you feed me this week something. That's like an example of social capital where it's not costing me anything, but I'm not

going to be able to go back to this guy again and be like, it's me again. anything but i'm not going to be able to go back to this guy again and be like it's me again i need more food no so like you're like cricket from always sunny my social capital with my family and friends was spent very early on and it's what led to epic mealtime essentially i remember like posting the first video i go on facebook and be like hey guys you know i'm into video making and you know I'm teaching on the side well I spent my money buying a camera and I I made this video and it's a food thing and I think it could be interesting if you could do me a favor and head to the subreddit that I posted it on and hit the thumbs up button it will really help change my like it's an example

of what you could ask for on Facebook it's not Twitter where it's like they're strange like this is your friends and family and you get one of those you might even get five of those so if you make that content and then they hit share well they're sharing it and the thing is on Facebook everyone has hundreds of friends on Facebook sometimes thousands so they hit share and they hit share and they hit share. And then that's just can have an exponential reaction. And that's a little bit easier than someone at YouTube being like, I will now select this video to be on the trending page. Right.

So I just think that Facebook has if there's a game and you like to play the game and there's a game to it, which I do think there is a game to it. There's a game to YouTube. There's a game to all of it. I think Facebook is the most easily gameable right now. Because Facebook also has way more than YouTube or anywhere else. Facebook is just, it's huge. And I've been doing, I did gaming as well. I did gaming on Twitch like in 2014.

I started doing that. And I was like, I like gaming. I'm a as well. I did gaming on Twitch like in 2014. I started doing that and I was like, I like gaming. I'm a content creator. I'm like, why does this shit exist and I'm not doing it? What is all this garbage? And I'd go, I'm like, oh, this is that fucking dumb shit

that Woody does with Minecraft. I don't know if this is for me. But so I started doing that in 2014 and then I now, look at me, I'm like you guys and you're sucking those websites dicks this website's the best and Woody's like my websites matter

I'm like Facebook guys upload to Facebook I'm a Facebook gaming creator so I can only stream on Facebook video games so full disclosure I'm sucking that Zuckerberg dick and I also I did like a like a live

game show through facebook as well so like i'm like i'm like a little bit of facebook kool-aid and people are like yo harley book dog her privacy i'm like bro we're already on the fucking grid these cameras are recording everything you're already going to jail in the future for even pointing at this your jail your future self is in jail now because of you just pointing out our privacy concerns today dude that's how the future works oh man china's so scary with their facial recognition poles and everything where they can just tell we bought that we bought that shit last year like and people act like oh that's never gonna happen here no they're like probably gonna be rolling that shit out in like des moines

in 2020 not even that you like got your macbook in 2008 and you're like look daddy it recognizes me you stupid bitch you're on the fucking list now you thought that was to unlock your macbook no yeah we know you afraid of the government. No one here can complain. The government knows all these things about us. It's like, no, they don't, you fucking retard. When the government needs information, they go to Facebook. They go to Google.

Facebook and Google know way more the fuck about you. You know what I heard that was really interesting? You know how sometimes you're there and you're like, yeah, you're like, oh, yeah, we got to get dog food. And then you go and you turn on Facebook. You're about to jerk off into your own belly button woody, I bet. And before you go to Pornhub, you have Facebook open. When you open it up, you're like, oh, shit, an ad for dog food.

An ad for belly button cleaner. Mark Zuckerberg. Wish app. This is a cum scooper for your belly button this uh you're like yo mark zuckerberg's listening to me because i said dog food and now the facebook it heard me the microphone but realistically it wouldn't make sense that they're and the answer is actually scarier than than a guy listening being like it's just every every two weeks you fucking buy dog food exactly so it knows and that's and that's scarier than a guy being like write this down yeah he said dog

food write it down send it to facebook let's get a fucking ad on him now fbi go get an ad on his shit face dog dog it's scary it's a robot that is like every fucking second Thursday you buy your dog dog food. I know because I got your credit card information. I know which food store you get it from. I know the brand you get. I know everything. And it's just computer learning. And it's not like they're listening.

No, in fact, it's just. And I saw this in the documentary. They were listening. I get way more targeted ads for masturbatory toys. I think that's scarier. Yeah. I think it's just and i saw this in the documentary saying that's successful this is less or more scary i think that's scarier yeah i think it's scarier you're targeting capabilities are are getting out of control we're like i'm sure harley knows something about this because you work in consumer products business you can be like all right our sales are struggling in this retailer which is mainly clustered around let's say raleigh for example all right we're going to set a 10 mile

radius around raleigh for google ads and we're going to set a 10-mile radius around Raleigh for Google ads, and we're going to only serve them to people when we can tell they are in this store specifically in the snack section. Like only if they happen to jump on their phone as they're walking through the snack aisle with Harley's product in it, you can serve them with an ad right there on Facebook or there on Google. Yeah, you can do that. You can drill down so fucking...

That's why in the future, you're literally going to be walking and it's going to be like... It's going to be like... Turn around. Hey, Woody, when was the last time you went for a dental checkup?

And it'll be like future like that. Like they're going to fucking talk to your ass. Woody, do you have toilet paper at home? Because based on your diet, how often you've pooped, you might be out. By the way, Charmin 4 Quilt has a 30 off coupon download now just enter your social security number idiot

you guys want to see something scary yeah okay yeah yeah okay you guys got iphones i do no i'm too poor for that okay so if you don't have an iPhone, you're a fucking low-life scumbag. Green text bubbles are weird. Yeah, I'm a green text poor person. Okay, come on. I'm holding an iPhone 7 Plus, so you can't play that card. Yeah, I have literally a 7 Plus. Yeah, look at us, right? 7 Plus guys. These kids with their 10s.

So take it. Take it, Woody. Okay. Take it out. Go to your settings. Okay. This would work in a previous conversation, those words, too. Take it out. Go to your settings. This would work in a previous conversation. Those words too. Take it out. Let me see that Bluetooth special. Go to

privacy. See that little blue hand? Looks like it's on your side. It's a blue hand saying stop. I see it. Hit that. You did that? Now your location services. Is that on? It is. looks like it's on your side it's a blue hand saying stop i see it yeah yeah hit that you did that i'm with you now your location services are is that on it is now you might not have this

because you may have just been lucky but mine's been on and i don't feel like turning it off because they know anyways but if you scroll down when you hit location services oh the very bottom one yeah system services hit that uh-huh now look yeah yeah now you see the bottom of that you see significant locations yes do you have that on i do oh you motherfucker they fucking got you by the dick you pussy hit it no go hit it what's it gonna tell you tell us what happens when you hit it It says touch ID for settings That's right We are like 5 menus deep in our fucking phone And our phone has the gall

To ask for the password Now I'm through fucking 15 fucking sub menus Bro This is obviously my shit Why are you asking for the password now We should have been password fucking 18 thumb swipes ago, bro. Oh, shit.

But this is how deep we are. Yeah. Oh, shit is right, Woody. Why don't you tell us what you see there? All the places I've been. And for those watching at home, yeah, all the places you've been. That's all right. That's right.

Wow. That's right. Wow. It goes back to like 2018, 2017. Yeah. I'm like, oh, my trip to Utah. Right? Right?

Yeah. Yeah. And then, and then, and back to like 2018, 2017. Yeah, of like all my trip to Utah, right? Yeah, yeah. And then, and like, here's the thing. So like, I have mine here. It says like New York, Glendale, West Hollywood, Richmond Hill, Marina Del Rey. So then here I'll see like, you know, Beverly Hills, California, 2018. It says three locations. So now I hit Beverly Hills and it has three locations it'll say like one Wilshire Boulevard September 12th 3 37 p.m arrived by 15 minute car ride stayed until 6 14 p.m

and left walking this is how accurate it is now obviously we're looking at it on the iphone but of course all the phones have it and not just that but if you sign into google google is recording this on behalf of your benefit as well facebook is doing it as well all every app fucking they're all they're all free services which means you're the fucking uh you're the product dude you know who this you're the bell of the ball the bell of the ball serial killers people in the last century getting no being a serial killer in 1941 easy as shit so easy being a serial killer in 2019 really hard yeah back in the day, we'd be like, we're going to fucking cut her head off. We'll wipe the blood off our face

with our own shirt. We'll have time to have sex with the body and leave traces of our DNA inside of it. And we're going to fucking toss it over the ridge. Why shouldn't I blow in there? She's dead. Just because it's gross, man. And And we're going to fucking toss it over the ridge. Why shouldn't I blow in there? She's dead. Just because it's gross, man.

And then we're going to shoot her into the canyon. And no one's ever gone to the bottom of the canyon. When are they going to have another opportunity to fucking neck? Huh? It's now or never, boys. You know how they always say stuff. Blue chew. You know how they'll say stuff like,

oh, Wayne Gretzky you move him to today he's not as dominant that's going to be the serial killer thing you take ed gein try and put him in 2019 nah friend nah he's not killing nearly as many kids or raping them or storing their bodies underneath this house maybe that was the btk killer i don't know but basically we're going to run out of serial killer movies that are real, that are non-fiction in this century. We're going to have to only go back to Bundy. No, I'm done with superhero shit. Enough is

enough. Let's move on. Let's go back to westerns or something else. My truck tracks my location and my phone tracks my location. And if you put me in my old truck, I don't know how to get anywhere. These are all problems. Yeah. What's crazy is like is like like let's say you're gay not saying you are let's just say hypothetically let's say you

feel like actually and there's absolutely i made lots of gay comments there's nothing wrong with being gay at all of course not but let's say you were gay and you're just like you didn't want to be up front about being gay right and no one knew that you were gay your phone knows you're gay and your truck knows you're gay google knows you're gay yeah google knows you're gay your truck knows you're gay your phone knows you're gay yeah even if you even like you can do the whole thing you can have your family you can all everything like i'm such a loving dad i fuck my wife and then your truck is like oh but yeah like like jerking off to to dwarf gimli porn don't you it's hardly where the problem comes in none of this is a problem yeah the problem goes this way right because you're like you're kind of like you know we're

already fucked they already have everything right and that? And that's fine until two of your circles overlap that really can't overlap. And maybe that goes, okay, maybe it goes, public opinion changes. We start legislating something again, and something that was legal no longer is legal, or something that is, and we're not making illegal, we're now suddenly very judgmental about it, right? And suddenly that is now accessible with your data package. Maybe a sponsor wants to invest in your channel or something. And they kind of go to, you know, ask about this stuff, ask around about this, kind of get your data package. And it turns out, you know, you're always making these homophobic

jokes or something. Right. And this is suddenly, you know, that's tracked somewhere. That information is there. And that's suddenly a big fucking problem for them. And it's like it's when these these these disparate things overlap, it becomes a problem. It's not actually a problem if my computer tracks all the sites I go to it's not actually a problem my phone knows where all these things go it's suddenly a problem though if this shit gets linked to somewhere else where it's now detrimental to me and then it's a problem so i don't know i don't know i don't know if i buy it's like no it's like it's no it's absolutely right it's sorry you're saying you don't know if you buy into this idea that the idea that it's that we're just we're just fucked we can't do

anything about it it feels like on some level it's damage prevention to try to keep as much of it personal as you can yeah so they say in in that documentary that i watched they're saying that like standard some companies will have 5 000 points of data on a particular person so 5 000 points of data is insane amount of knowledge power you could date you could date someone for 10 years and not have 5 000 points of data on them and a lot of the data is also like private it's true like people been like so what you think i give fbi watch look at my camera i jerk off enjoy the money shot it's not that simple that's like okay sure that's a problem the fbi is going to know about our small dick harley so like that's its own thing but like what he was saying is like it's in the long run

it's in the long run when like i go to get like insurance for my car and they're like so from 2010 to 2019 you did this booze heavy youtube show so it looks like you're an alcoholic so we're going to charge you a premium on your on your your your insurance because you're an alcoholic you're like why am i an alcoholic you're like you on all your social media you spoke about jack daniels for 10 years or even worse you're like that's yeah you get me like that's that's bad enough but then you can do something like all right what's your let's say that your sexual preferences come up repeatedly let's say you know okay you're doing a porn hub you're looking at whatever deviant whatever fucking shit gets you off right sure

at some point well someone who does that can't be a good dad we're going to take his kid away and they have that data point and at some point that's just a legislation thing at that point whether or not what's allowed and what isn't allowed so the the issue of like you know if you go well it doesn't matter this shit's being collected i'm not saying you're saying that i'm hearing you're expressing concern but i hear that argument put forth i don't have anything to hide that's good and well so long as your morality and your ideals line up right now with what's being legislated yeah no i i totally agree and actually that that was when i was making the point where i was like i know we were on the fucking list right now. We're on the grid.

That's what's up is like, yeah, it was not me being like, well, we can't do shit about it. You know, we could actually do very, very, very little bits, a little bit at a time, a little bit at a time. Sure. But and actually, and I don't want to sound like fucking G.I. Joe, but knowing is half the battle. And it's true.

Actually, knowing it, like the difference between privacy, like being like, oh, no, my dick on camera. I didn't mean for that. It's different from like the long-term repercussions of reading your private messages, being like reading your private messages and holding it against you down the line. But that's where we're actually like very quickly heading. i always what it's going to impact first is going to be

stuff like health care where they're like you know we don't notice a pattern of exercise exhibited anywhere in your in your social media accounts so we're going to add you as a sedentary your iphone steps your iphone steps are like 4 000 yeah we and most people are like 15 000 that's not good we also sense that you're sitting sedentary for a while oh you talked about smoking vapes or smoking a cigarette oh that's our ai analyze your posture across 2 000 streams you have bad posture that's gonna lead to back problems we can't ensure that like it's almost it sounds like science fiction the amount that these companies it is it is but that's what they say that and like i forget who said it but like they said that like the dystopian future like that we're gonna welcome it without

realizing it yeah we already have and we are like we're like tick tock follow me on tick tock like that's it we're here yeah this is it we really are we're here for the end of the ride boys it we really are we're here for the end of the ride boys we did it i went to uh like and just like not even the fact that like amazon is crushing every kind of small business and like mainstream businesses they're crushing i went to oh they're target will be in trouble sooner than like target is crushing amazon you know amazon sells like you can buy, like, dildos and butt plugs on Amazon. Oh, I know. You don't have to tell me. And, like, men's, sexy men's underwear.

Yeah. Wouldn't you say Amazon's pretty gay, then? Dude, I don't buy shit like that from Amazon. Wouldn't you say Amazon's pretty gay to sell things that you put in your ass dude i buy all my cock rings and don't you think stuff on it don't you think jeff besos is a little gay to own a company that sells things for your asshole you're right dude that's pretty gay that's pretty good jeff that's pretty good jeff to work out and get so muscular while this machine learning program is feeding you ads for things to stick in your ass amazon's like that's gay of the machine also the algorithm is gay the algorithm is gay if it's showing you things that it thinks you want to put in your ass

you're right it's very gay wouldn't you say machine learning is kind of homosexual? Yeah. It's inherently homosexual. No, it is what you are. All robots are gay. Skynet. Skynet's going to come and suck you off. Skynet's going to make you bust.

Dude, that's a funny bit. Like a Republican politician who's mad and us hearing because he's like i am tired of only being served ads about glory holes near me is this the only thing and i know that it's it's the googles it's the youtubes it's the instagrams and somehow they know the kind of butt plug that i my my my gay friend uses when he goes to suck off strange men at the ethnic glory hole near his

house. That's an L to run with that. Now, why is the internet so gay? The other guy's like, I just get served a lot of stuff about sports. He's like, well, that's just weird, isn't it?

They're turning us gay. I have a new topic. Parley. I like talking about how gay AI is. Last time you were here, you were telling us about your Walmart product and your burgeoning enterprise. Update, please. I don't know, man.

I thought you might know. You don't got your eye on Ryan? No, I do. We haven't gotten another order. Do you think it might be over? I have no idea. I really don't know.

You haven't got a fill-in since the last time you were on? I do, and it's like there's some weird things. The most interesting things are things that I'm not confident enough that I should be talking about. I'm not sure it's

appropriate to even... Up to now, it's been a pretty fact-based conversation. It's cool! I got jerky in the stores with my face on it. We'll see what happens. You said jerky? I'm sorry, Filthy. You don't know.

Harley started a jerky business. Help me, Harley. It was like a custom sort of gourmet jerky. Yeah, custom like pizza in a bag. It's like pizza jerky in like a pizza slice-shaped bag. There's a buffalo wing. Bacon jer's a taco jerky yeah yeah it's it's all good it's cool there's 11 yeah i like the supreme i was about the buffalo wing but yeah i gotta get you some bacon one you um but yeah so do you want to go no i was gonna say

yes so we've been doing it it's been in walmart it It's been in 7-Eleven. We do have a partner with it, although we own it. We own it with a partner of ours. So our understanding of, like, where it stays at is limited to our conversations that we have with guys that, you know, aren't in the same city as us. So we're just kind of in like uh a special i want to hear that let me hear that sneeze so we're kind of in like uh uh you're in like limbo with it no it's like i don't know i don't know what to say if you were my kid i would say use your words harley yeah well let's well because i know i don't want i don't want i don't want to breach i don't want to breach a subject that like maybe i i

shouldn't you know because i am dealing with myself and like you know another entity as well like another company um but ultimately things are exciting there have it there hasn't been a reorder but there also hasn't been like a fuck you get the fuck out of walmart either just go just go off about it. Walmart is notoriously cool about breaches of contract. Super chill guys there in Bentonville, Arkansas. Okay, well

I thought it was neat. There's different levels of wealth, right? And I was like, Harley could maybe make this quantum leap into a levels of wealth right and i was like harley could maybe like make this quantum leap into a level of wealth you know not this time next all right next year i just want to be pay my mortgage off level of rich like yeah just like you know like very successful dentist yeah that good dentist money yep do you know dentists kill themselves more

than any other occupation i read once yeah well we want their money but we don't want to kill ourselves you know i think probably it's because of the bad vibes that they're getting served up every day peltosis i think yeah it's the halosis. I feel like that's a big deal. It is. I'm like, why am I, this is a shit job. Why did I choose this shit job? Like, employees at Build-A-Bear aren't killing themselves because

they're around stoked kids all the time. Where'd you get that from? I want like the breakdown. Give me the top 10 professions that kill themselves the most. I made this up. Okay. Alright, let me see. see which why do dentists kill themselves yeah i heard that about dentists google auto completed it when i'm searching it now don't choose the vice article yeah machine learning all right the 19 that's that game machine is gonna get you to kill yourself tell you in a minute you son of a bitch business insider no you know what i'm not blocking

my ads for you fuck you are unblocking my ads i'll go to i'll go to a less reputable source less reputable the business insider even less i'll go to you're gonna be at a youtuber's channel yeah you'll come back to me in a minute. Hey, guys. Cool Steve here. Thanks so much for watching. Real quick before we get into it, sorry about my content recently. Big plans on the horizon to do this and that. Also, another thing to look out for,

we're doing a wacky watch-along series over on Twitter. It's kill yourself. Kill yourself. Yeah, I was getting triggered. Jump off a bridge. Don't just kill yourselves because I watched this video. What's up, guys? I'm back with another video. What's up, guys?

I've got 45 seconds of content, but I've got to get it to 10 minutes, so I'm going to just mealy mouth my way around, talk about, oh, is my cat jumping up on my desk? Wow. Let's talk about this. Kill yourself. Yeah. Yeah, you're right right i don't play videos nice that's youtube that is youtube yeah they pay you a lot less and believe it or not youtube's are always youtube's are always they're always they're always saying what's up they're

always back with another one i'm back with another video i know you're back with another video Can you imagine if people at like real jobs Are like and I'm back to drive the forklift Again Shut the fuck up Ted and get to work You're 40 minutes late You're trying to learn how to like screw in a light bulb And they go into their whole history of how they got

Motivated to make videos about light bulbs Like no bitch Michael Vsauce here teaching you how to screw in a light bulbs like no bitch Michael V sauce here teaching you how to screw in a light bulb but first what is a light bulb and who invented it you know and but actually that's not fair because that guy has some cool videos yeah it's very interesting the suicide rate of dentists is twice of the general population and three times other white collar workers damn what's up next? Number two. This is all, this is oil health group.com.

So it's all about dentistry and stress that kills you. Do you think it's because I was going to say, do you think it's because they have access to that really fun gas that they give you? But then that wouldn't make sense because like regular doctors have access to more fun drugs than that. And they're not killing themselves as much. It really does have to be some kind of like bad vibe thing where everybody coming in has a pissy attitude and

doesn't want to be there because they're at the dentist and that must wear on your spirit after a while you know like just constant negativity so here here are some time pressures uh compromise treatment frustration patient anxiety which i think is what you're tapping into. Dentist personality. Compulsive attention to detail. Extreme conscientiousness. Careful control of emotions. Unrealistic expectations. Lack of exercise.

Control of emotions? It says it right here. Why are they regulating? What do dentists need with emotional regulation? Maybe. What are the ups and downs that they're suppressing? This goddamn root canal just isn't working a market dependence

on individual performance and prestige the emotion thing I'm just guessing because it's customer facing you know that's me guessing but I mean going to the dentist does suck and I guarantee I'm not putting out positive vibes I have to go to the bathroom

alright have fun keep talking about the Jewish dentist though I guarantee I'm not putting out positive vibes. Who? What Jew? I have to go to the bathroom. All right, have fun. Good luck. Keep talking about the Jewish dentist, though. Remember, everyone listening at home, he's a Jew, this dentist. Very high chance he's Jewish. Really not. Is that a high chance Jewish job?

Is he still Jewish after he's dead? I know Hollywood and stuff is, but dentists? I don't know about that. Doctors in general. He might be Indian. Yeah. Yeah, you're a doctor. You know. Dr. Srinivas.

Srinivasa. Why are your teeth so dirty? Yeah, well, that sucks. But dentists do make good money, and it seems way easier to be a dentist than it does to be like a surgeon or like a regular doctor or maybe i'm wrong i don't know do we have any dentists out there listening no no all right we got any felons in the house Twitter shut down 200,000 Chinese bot accounts, and they were doing propaganda against the democracy movement in Hong Kong.

I don't know who I believe over there. Really? No, I just wanted to come in middle of the road. I haven't followed it one bit. I just know that when I saw Chinese people over there waving an American flag, I'm like... They were Hong Kong people. Hong Kongese or whatever it is.

Hong Kongians. Hong Kongers. Probably not. Kongolians. That's it. No, Kongoloids. Kongoloids, that's most likely it, yes.ids. Kongaloids. That's most likely it. Yes.

All these Kongaloids over there waving the American flag. Friends with Mongoloid. It does. I prefer to believe it's Kongaloid. That's it. Yeah. All these Kongaloids over there. Yeah.

I don't have a fucking clue what's going on over there. And I also, to be frank, don't care. I don't fucking care what happens in China. They're going to gonna win Congrats, China You're gonna win in the end You got too many people and you're beating our ass Other than trade But eventually you'll come back and win

When I was a child I used to wonder how England lived with itself Having seen its empire decline Right? The sun never set on England you guys were the boss how did you let that happen and well now I understand

now I'm watching my empire decline personally or as a country or both as a country I was talking about my empire is pretty much retired it doesn't give a fuck it was even worse than that for England because like up world war ii they still had like a bunch of shit all over the place like a bunch of like like just other countries they just straight up controlled

it would be like us just being like well fuck guys we lost alaska we guys talking china came in and stole it oh we lost uh we lost hawaii china came in scooped it up like oh they took california fuck like it would be almost more similar to that like at least we're not losing we're talking about how usa is number one well we're talking about how uh yeah we're talking about how like uh people in england up until world war ii were like we're the cats pajamas we're the shit we got india we got all these places and then after world war ii because the us basically was like hey we'll keep loaning you money if you just basically hemorrhage your empire. Yeah, and now we can't even buy fucking Greenland,

even though think of how cool of a vacation spot that would be. In 50 years when the globe warms. It would have been an investment. It's an appreciating asset. Even now, Greenland and Iceland, I don't know what happens over there. I know Iceland is strictly a colony for breeding the strongest men alive. No, that's Greenland. And Greenland, I don't know what happens over there. I know Iceland is strictly a colony for breeding the strongest men alive. No, that's Greenland. Greenland, I don't know.

No, it's Iceland. Iceland is where Thor Bjornsson is from. Iceland is about strong men and competitive spellers, I assume. Yeah. I imagine that Iceland and Poland have the world's best spellers because you really got to learn to spell.

Everything has just... It looks like you fell asleep on the keyboard and you've arrived in a town. It does. Well, they... Go for it. Well, they fucked up England because they said that they were the cat's pajamas

and saying that you're the cat's pajamas is going to get you fucked up. Yeah. Then the Germans came in, started really, really tearing them up, man. Literally tearing up the couch pajamas. They were like, America, give us some money. We'll even get rid of India and liquidate all our resources there.

And we're like, yeah, that's not going to be enough, bitch. Keep it coming. Yeah, but we're number one, though. I'm not questioning any of this. America made England get rid of India? No, I'm saying that in order to pay back the debts that the UK incurred. Woody, this is PKA, bro. Shut the fuck up with the smart questions, man.

USA number one, bro. America, fuck questions, bro. USA. I don't give a fuck what the question is. I know the answer, though. USA number one. You don't get a fuck what the question is. I know the answer, though. USA number one. You don't get it? That's the fucking truth. We rule this world, bro.

And you know what? I'll throw number two to Canada. Yeah, big fucking hamburgers for one dollar. That's the fucking future. Machine learning on your phone knows you want dog food, knows you're secretly gay. That's america bro we win god you're making and i'm canadian i'm just like i'm on your side though i'm with you guys

dude canada's got the coolest position nobody's ever mad at canada and if shit ever goes down who's america gonna protect first no wasn't there a time when like just all the 9-11 shit was going on in the whole like al-qaeda shit wasn't there a bunch of just all the 9-11 shit was going on and the whole Al-Qaeda shit? Wasn't there a bunch of times where they're like, if these guys were... How did they get into... Unless they came from... And we were like, ah!

We made a mistake, I think. Wasn't Canada basically holding a whole bunch of terrorists without realizing? I mean, they may have been. I'm sure it was an accident. I think I remember some of that. There's no way it was malicious. Hey, this is PKA, fuck.

We say what we want. You know, they were wearing a bunch of weird headgear, but it made me uncomfortable to confront them about it. They promised they'd be good. They promised they'd be good. They promised they'd check in. I don't know where they went. Dude, there's a new flight simulator coming out from Microsoft.

Hindsight's 20-20. I expect the terrorists to do better than three out of four next time. With a flight simulator? That's how they learn to fly. Microsoft Flight Simulator. Not everyone knows this. Yeah, they use Microsoft Flight Simulator. That's why the next terrorist attack is coming from a Euro truck.

From Euro Truck Simulator. It's a goat truck. From Euro truck simulator. It's a goat attack. Have you played goat simulator? I'm sorry. They've been renting U-Haul vans and shit. Which a U-Haul van is a lot easier to control than a plane. The fact that they went three for four

like... Honestly, you think I'm going to fucking... You think I'm going to toot these terrorist horns going to do these terrorist horns and fucking pussies? They didn't take off. Yeah. Once it's in the air, give me the controls. I got it.

Yes. There's only you're trying. There's only two speed and direction. So I'll fucking crash into anything. Taking off and landings. The tricky part. Didn't they take real classes though? Like real classes also where they're like, all right, we're going to fly.

That's just to make it sound less scary than a bunch of fucking random idiots just took the plane and crashed. They're like, they used advanced gaming software to learn the way that the plane works. God forbid everyone finds out that flying a plane is fucking easy once you take off all right mamood well tomorrow is landing training oh yeah i will definitely be back tomorrow definitely be back taylor's right though they learn to fly like cessnas with little private courses and then they learn to fly 747s with microsoft that's because if al-qaeda is gonna put the budget forward for like the research development, they've got to spend the money. Otherwise, that department of Al-Qaeda will just get less budget the next year. That is how Al-Qaeda works.

So they have to go buy Cessna. They have a $14 million budget. If they don't spend $14 million, that budget gets cut. So if they just did, that's why they had to buy Cessna. That's why they had to do it that way. It was just rigged. Trust me. Bro, I know how Al-Qaeda 2003 works.

I know how they work. I'm an idiot. That would be so funny. Mahmoud, you must spend $4,000 today on C4. Muhammad's going to have to take one for the team because guaranteed next year, inflation goes up. We do not get any more budget. But you said new chairs.

We need new chairs. All right. One lazy boy get us over the edge it's just for me though i need shoes what game is that i need shoes you like tell them it's like an old rts someone in the comments please he's like you tell them to do something but like they're like a baseline worker they'd be like i need shoes i need shoes whenever you tell them to whatever anyways maybe it is oregon trail yeah i remember from oregon trail was was always dying while trying to ford the river or if my bitch of a wife got bit by a snake and i'd always be like i can make it a couple more moves to oregon i can make it no can't make it you either stop and suck the venom out and shit and she survives and then your kids freeze to death and starve,

or you try and forge ahead to Oregon. Oh, I hated that game. Hated the Oregon Trail. It was all we had, though, at the time. It was that, or where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? And after a few playthroughs of that, I figured where the fuck Carmen Sandiego was in every conceivable thing.

Like, they didn't have a lot of options. My inner boomer coming. Every time I read about how this generation, usually it's the boomer generation literally the people older than me they say they ruined america the debt the cost of college this and that they destroyed it this is the first generation that's not better off than their parents etc even though i'm not i don't think the people they're talking about i still take it to heart you guys are going to be the generation that got passed by China So assholes We are? Because of boomers

Yeah you guys All you fucking idiots Playing Fortnite and fucking TikTok China's going to win You can't even fucking get a victory royale You shit Who's the generation that made China rich beyond their wildest dreams? This one right here

No Actually mostly boomers and Gen X You think? Who's the generation that made China rich beyond their wildest dreams? This one right here. No, no. Actually, mostly boomers and Gen X, right? You think? Yeah. Like, I mean, the way that the- Yo, USA number one, for sure. 100% USA number one. But ultimately, Chinese people are better than white people.

Chinese people are better than white people. No, they're not taller. Yeah, you know what? But if advanced aliens came to Earth and that spaceship landed and opened up, Chinese people would walk out. No, what would happen? Chinese people would walk out.

The aliens would come and they would say, show me which nation won the most Olympic medals and they would take Americans. Oh, we don't know what the Olympics is, but we know this country, they all look like ours. Whoa, that's very racist. We left two of them here like 5,000 years ago. Hold on, you got to pull that one back a little bit.

That one's, yeah. This is a staple of this show. I want to actually go on the record. I know that that is racist, what he's doing 100%. I know that's a racist joke. Okay, I don't believe he's actually go on the record. I know that that is racist what he's doing 100% Okay, I don't believe he's a racist person or an evil person but that is definitely Chinese yeah, yeah, and he's secretly gay his phone told me But I'm just saying that like if aliens came to this planet and like that shit opened up and they came out It would be Chinese people i'd be like i knew

it it's like whatever planet they're from the china there were the people that got the ship up and came to us and made contact you know how if you like if you mess with an ant hill and like knock a little bit of the top over immediately there's a swarm of ants coming it's gonna be disgustingly racist? Is that getting like a weird... Once you're like, imagine ants! Imagine ants beneath us! That's the way shit works in China. That's why they're so good. A building

falls down, immediately there's a tick that goes off in like a five mile radius. All the Chinese people come together and start standing on each other's legs. Did you know that a Chinese person can live up to 5,000 pounds? What Taylor's saying is when buildings fall, the Chinese

release pheromones. Sorry. Be careful. These are the... Was that actually going to be worse? Taylor pulled back on something. I think you should go with this. No, I Was that actually going to be worse? I would have poured a very large glass of wine so I could keep up. I think you should go with this.

No, I agree with Harley. China's going to take us over. There's too many of those fucks. India is like... There's too many of those fucks? There's too many of those fucks for us to compete. We can't compete. Fuck isn't racist.

Well, compete. Like, there's 350 a million of us. Yeah, first of all, if it's a numbers game, they got you. I'm Canadian, bro. Once China walks through the fucking ocean, I'm going to be there. I'm going to be like, bro,

I've been China since day one. I've been team China since day one. Actually, we check your phone. You on PKA with known racists. I know. I was like, I said you guys. I said you guys, though. I said China's the best.

You don't remember? I was like, China's the best? All right. It checks out. Tap your mic. I want to be 100% sure you're in the right mic. Hi. I think that's it.

Yeah, he sounds good to me. All right. Sometimes when I'm yelling and laughing, it gets all echoing. I'm like, I have a shit mic. I have a shit mic. It's not just a numbers game, though, because if it were just a numbers game, India would be going to be on the precipice of winning, right? Because they're going to pass China in the next 10 years.

Who's to say India doesn't pass China economically, too? There are no slouches. They're not going to. Way more of Indians live in abject poverty. What percentage of Indians have electricity? One? Probably, yeah. One.

Maybe a half a percent. One Indian. That's where you're going with that? No. Of course. India is on the rise in a really significant way culturally india considers themselves to be they're like marsha marsha going for the china china china no that's part of the culture victory is a big move 2019 if you win if you win with

culture in 2019 like you're fucking sin master if they who does to you man if they win with a democratic democracy victory or whatever that is that's bullshit that's lame uh the delegate was close it's actually 92.6 but yeah no no india considers themselves to be like in competition with china they hate to hear that like china's growing faster like they're they've got their eyes on the prize and we're yeah you know what that is that's india being like i don't even fucking see the usa bro right i don't see you there's some relief there for me someone else is having to compete with them too yeah yeah they're like we don't even see you we don't even see you by the way uh um i've always had a a little passion for indian culture some sort of hard on yeah i believe i got that blue chew hard dick for that indian culture what do you like what do you like most about indian culture the food or the the monkeys

i like the food is good how are their. How are their monkeys? Their monkeys? That's why I subscribed to Pulse. They have full monkey temples where it'll be a temple of the monkey or a monkey god, and they just let tons of monkeys hang out, and they tell you not to bring your chip bags around because those monkeys are sly. They'll come right down,

snatch them out of your hand, run away. That's my favorite part of Indian culture. That is interesting. I didn't know about that. No, mine is I like the movies where they sing and dance that's what i like that is hilarious that's good no matter what and i've watched them like no matter what happens every single scene just and it's just the difference in culture this is a culture thing 100 culture you just cringe you like look at some of the encounters

and you're cringing but it's just like it's just the culture it's just a difference in culture like the way they're talking or interacting or what they show on camera or what they won't show on camera is just really it's cringy but you know, it's actually really, really awesome Indian content and it's on Netflix and you don't need to take my word for it. It's called sacred game and you just need to watch the first 10 seconds. And I think you, if you like that first 10 seconds, I've got that kind of time.

That's it. That's it. That's the sell I got for you. It was like, Hey, put this on. Watch tense discussion about social capital. You burnt through that with Woody last week. that's it i'm like hey that's that's my social capital now i'm like you

got 10 seconds put that on for 10 seconds dude let me know what you think indian bollywood movies make me crazy so i worked in it uh it's my favorite scene it's cisco there were lots sorry i don't know i'm cutting you off real hard right here, but this for 10 seconds, and it's 10 seconds we could probably find on the internet. We could do that live. We could see what he's selling for 10 seconds. Do you want to do that first? Go. It's on Netflix.

It is on the internet. Netflix, Sacred Games. This is wild, though. If we are pulling up a Netflix link on the stream like that. Are we allowed to do that, or are we going to get fucked? I don't know. 10 seconds though. Isn't there like a,

um, it's the word I'm looking for. It's like fair use. Isn't that under, it's the fair use. Oh yeah. Yeah. I would say it is.

See, you guys get some, you guys get some into court. Yeah. I'm coming to bat. Aren't you Jewish too? Yeah. I'm coming to bat. Aren't you Jewish too? Yeah, I'm basically a lawyer. You know these things.

I'm basically a lawyer. Are the opening 10 seconds going to have music? No. No. I don't know. If this is Jew approved, I'm on board. This is Jew approved. Are you guys watching it?

Do we have a link? I need a link to the... Can you link Netflix? I'm trying. I'm doing that right now. I'm so curious. This is like... i've never done this did that work whoa it did it worked for me

a link in their past leads an honest cop to a fugitive gang boss whose cryptic warning spurs the officer on a quest to save mumbai Do you think it was an unfortunate translation through Google? This is the best thing, is the dub. So I watch it with a dub. I put subtitles on also because their accents are a little thick, but it's a dub, and he's not like, well, that's the thing, Michael. My name is Raphael, and I do have faith that we'll solve.

It's not like that. He's literally like, don't believe in magic. And it's like that. They are. They they believe in magic and it's like yeah it's like that they are they got fucking they got fucking real life indian motherfuckers the voice the indian motherfuckers we're gonna watch there's no shortage of them the opening 10 seconds because i'm cued at the fade in yeah you ready you that just the regular oh i just got rid of the doom yeah yeah just go to the okay to the part Okay, black screen. You ready? Ready, set, play. Do you believe in God?

That's Indian music, all right. Oh, you said there'd be no music in the opening. No one's going to detect this. You believe in the dead? Yeah, that's... Wow, all all right i paused it at the dog that's that's it god doesn't give a fuck that's where i was gonna say like you could stop right there if you do make it to 30 seconds you get a harder sell that's for sure because they it keeps going crazy but that's right there man with right there, man. How are you affiliated with this production? What's that?

How are you affiliated with this production? They pay me. He lent the dog. To get people to watch it. To pay for my dog's funeral. Gotcha. No, I'm not affiliated at all. Someone said, hey, put this show on.

Watch the first 30 seconds. Watch the first 10 seconds. I saw that, that and they're like and if that interests you you will so that's the beginning for those that didn't watch it's like literally a dog falling off a really high building and the guy's like do you believe in god in front of a bunch of children they get scared yeah then the dog gets like lands and uh what did he say about god again i don't know it's a dope ass quote and then it's like shit that's the show right there you gotta fucking all you white ass all you white ass americans that love pka you white boys will do you good to watch a show whose main character is wearing a turban oh y'all mayo ass crackers yeah Yeah. Watching your white shit. Exactly. If you're watching your ice hockey and you're Ellen.

I'm not racist. I watch a show where the main character wears a turban. That's generally how I defend against that claim. Yes. Well, I bring up my black dog. Yeah. Oh, that actually is very racist, actually, if you do that. That seems very good in North Carolina.

Does this person have a black dog? No. Yeah. Because you own it and you can, if you're saying what you're like, you're like, I'm allowed. Cause my dog is black. Yeah. That's why that's how I got.

That's a joke you make. Wait, Woody. Do you ever, is that a joke you make? I'm not moral high ground. I'm just curious. Establish the moral high ground at this point. I'm just asking. Do you ever you ever say come here boy come here boy this is very hold on now we're very racist

let woody call his dog right now then we could get a clip of it and we could post it there out of context is that but do wait so and i So I wasn't making a joke. I was actually trying to get more information on it. So if you're like, you make a joke and someone's like, I'm sorry. Take it back. My bad. You got it.

My bad. I don't want to interrupt. That's not me. I was going to say, it's only racist if you have a black dog. If you're saying, come here, boy. So glad I went for the second bottle of wine. I'm going to get you. But wait, hold on.

So, Woody, like if like, let's say you'd say something and you'd be like, oh, the black, the blacks or something you would say. And then someone's like, Woody, that's racist. You would be like, no, my dog's black. Yeah, that's what he said. He said it just a minute ago. Which would prove I'm not racist. Okay. Clearly.

That's racist, by the way. No, it's not. You know what's racist? You have a white fluffy dog, right? Don't you have a white fluffy dog? Sure, for your point. That's racist as fuck, the fact that you only buy white dogs no it's not his name's his name's little hitty i never ever once ever considered the color of

my dog when i looked at him i never saw color i don't even see breed yet somehow you ended up all i see is four legs with a heart. That's it. Right in the center. I never once even saw that. You think I would ever call my dog a Yorkie? No, I wouldn't put him in a box like that. He might identify as something else.

It's not my place to decide. No, but actually, I'll be honest. I believe people can make racist jokes and whatever and not be racist or have even a mentality that... Yeah, Woody's racist for sure. He did. He told me in college he hates black people because there were so many of them. That's true. I was there.

Yeah, yeah. Taylor was four. They were at the arcade and he didn't like that they didn't say hi to him when he came so he's like I hate black people hardly was there no I am joking a little bit but truth be told I think what I'm good at

is being like that's a racist thing that's not a racist thing I think I'm very good at that that's your god given skill identifying oh it's not the God-given skill. Judging other people. I picked this one up.

No, no, not judging. Oh, I think it's judging a little. A little bit, but let me explain. I could be like, that, what you just said, is racist. I would never in this day and age say that it makes you racist or you a person. I wouldn't say that about you or anyone i could just be like the thing that is being said right now that's murder it's a racist thing yeah yeah that's true so possibly harley's hidden superpower as long as it's funny harley's hidden superpower is identifying

what's racist and what's not my hidden for me that's important i can identify when a woman is pre-fat right she might not be fat right now, but her body type is going to trend that way. That's my superpower. That's sexist. Oh, look at him. You've got variety to your skill set. No, but I actually like that.

I actually like that ability. He's developing. He's already said he's moving on. I like that ability. Why don't you make... I actually like that ability. It's really hilarious. Why don't you make some calls right now? Really?

Why don't we go? Let's take some YouTubers that exist right now. I could be a tinkerer. Let's get it on fucking tape, bro. Let's get it on tape. And in 10 years, if any of them are wrong, Wings is coming back on the show.

And that's official. Dude, after we're done, let's play my superhero game. I can tell you just by looking, just by looking, whether or not someone has Down syndrome. You can't actually always do that. Yeah, I can tell. No, there's mosaic Down syndrome. There are people who have. Not to me.

I'm like that guy in the basement solving math problems. That's a crummy homie. An extra crummy homie. Yeah, let's take some photos. Well, I guess for Harley's bit, we have to wait a decade. Let's get it on paper right now.

Thanks a lot now let's go we don't need a paper we got a video I should offer this super power to singles for a fee so they know whether to swipe left or right is Lele Pons pre-fat? I don't know this person you gotta fucking type her name in bro

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smell better. That's how I flip the burger. That's how I slide it in. A hard dick is useless if you have bad breath. There you go. That's the little thing. Both of those companies i'm charged this is product placement the best of ways it really is putting those together some adverts don't go well with like the content you know they all go well with blue chew apparently because we

we linked to my wife world of warcraft to it do you guys know a handmaiden's tale yeah i've heard of it i've never watched a television show okay it's television about like the u.s like reverts into this weird like like theocracy kind of thing and women get super subjugated in it right and although although subjugated love it you boys love it all the women who are being subjugated are wearing this like red like outfit and then my wife was watching this on i don't remember hulu or something and the ad that came up next was this woman like fantasizing about this super sexy red dress. And it was just like the world's worst fucking product placement ever for that.

Because it was just perfect. So this is the opposite. This is spooky. Yeah. This is the opposite. They're like, oh, you're thinking about red dresses and a fucked up future? Boom. That fucked up future is here right now.

For 1995. Put it on. There you go. So do we have these women? I want to see Woody's superpower. No, I am not going to judge. He gave me a list of female YouTubers with a million subs. By the way.

Yo, you're going to have a superpower. Do it with your chest out, bro. You can pre-fat make these calls. Let's do it, man. It's really best you use talking shit behind people's back. It's not talking shit. You think that's talking shit? Think of it this way.

Bro, you're racist to black people. And now you want to draw a line in the sand for successful females they watch this they see this they're like fuck that guy they work out a little bit harder eat a little bit better oh you help milo yiannopoulos theory of fat hating just helps fat people. I didn't know that was his theory. I wouldn't have gone that far. I was trying to find a positive for your superfan. Do you know who Milo is? Yeah. Well, he does

a thing where he picks on people. He was like my Ben Shapiro amuse-bouche. He was like my Ben Shapiro appetizer. I was like, who's this guy that I'm watching? And then he was gone, and then there's the main chorus, Ben Shapiro. I'm like, oh, this is why I ever heard of this person.

He came on our show three years ago or something. I bet it was three years ago. And how was that? Pretty good, actually. It was actually pretty funny. He knew how to roll with jokes and shit, but he was also just kind of just weird.

Really? Well, it's homosexual is the word that you're saying. And that's just you that finds it weird. That's racist. You just didn't like him because he's white. That's not true. I'm also gay. You seriously don't want to show off the superpower now? This would be the next

Let's go through them. For the record, I'm fine. Telling these bitches. They'll be fat I really am not gonna sit here and be an asshole to people online How is it an asshole really saying this woman's body type is such that she's about to get fat would you? Those words your words are bad. I don't like the words that you even use there. You can say it better. When I go to the dermatologist, you're a redhead whose fucking pill is shit. You're going to get skin cancer. And I'm like, well, that's probably good.

I hear this. You don't think it's similar? No. A little bit. No, it's like you could be like, filthy, let me ask you, would you rather battle, you know battle a mole that needs to be removed because it's potential skin cancer or 35 pounds?

What do you mean battle? Battle. You've got a problem that you need to solve. Either a day trip to the dermatologist, outpatient procedure, or 35 pounds of fat. He's saying being fat is pounds of fat. He's saying being fat is worse than cancer. That's his words.

Is what he's trying to say. Right? So how is that redeeming you? I missed it. No, it's you. It's not. He's a bad example. I'm not saying it because in my eyes a woman gaining weight is the lowest of all people in existence would you rather shake hands

with a fat woman or a rapist every time I'm on PK we talk about fitness and when I started streaming when I left graduate school started streaming I put on fucking like 20 pounds oh god I'm just kidding 20 pounds right so that happens in life

why is this suddenly the end all be all you have this talent I want to see this talent in action let's go Woody Jenna Marbles how do you feel how do we make it easier less popular people like just random photos like what makes this easier i want to see the talent not doing in front of our audience that's the mean part that's the no that's that's that's the bane that you carry woody that's it even no matter what i'll tell you what yourreddit, they're already mad at you right now. Oh, I know.

So it's too late. They're already mad. They're going to be mad. And if you don't give them this shit, they're going to find some other shit to be mad about and use against you. You guys are dragging this out. You're to blame. No, no. The subreddit. I already hear that.

They're helping provide content. I hear that right now. The subreddit. I already hear that. ESS are helping provide content. I hear that right now. That is a very crucifying Woody right now. Really, the meaner you are, the more the subreddit likes you. Yeah, totally true.

That's the way to do it. But it's not... I just feel like... And actually, when I looked at that list of women, they almost all look like they weren't pre-fat. They were pretty hot women in general oh i thought you were gonna go this is really gonna help you like they're all go on further you'd fuck them all you're saying would you fuck them with your blue chew dad dick

hypothetical single woody would would there's he gave a list of like 25 hypothetical single woody like 23 owner is he busting loads in these YouTube videos? Like 23 of them, unless I'm desperate, and then 25. Will you come inside them? How else would I lock them in? You know, I'm baby trapping most of them. That's what you're going to do. 23 out of 25, I would. 23 out of 25, I'm baby trapping them.

The other two are catching release. Why don't you send the list out to your audience so they can guess which two are the new ones. We should do that. You know what? If I don't want to... Subreddit, get them. If you guys guess right, if I don't want to pick on these people

for no reason, but I... Is it really picking on them? Oh, I know. I already know. Okay, if you say i already know what is pre-fat if someone's body type is pre-fat you're saying you look at this person you go they're at a risk of obesity is that picking on someone yes really because i have genetics that leave me at risk for alcoholism leave me at risk for skin cancer leave me at risk for like

receding hairline is it yeah shut up white man you got it good okay just shut your white mouth okay no one's gonna feel bad for you in 2019 sure you're good this is the website oh your red hair wow you're super white wow we feel bad for you so i'm kidding no i'm not it's true but no one feels bad for you this is i'm showing people the website that we're talking about i think genetics always becomes a weird thing, right? But isn't this what he's saying? He can identify genetics from looking. Isn't that what he's saying?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Definitely. No, 100%. Wait, wait, wait. Just a quick pause. All jokes aside, you guys can do this too, right? You look at these women. Like some women you say, oh, she's thick and she's hot and that's awesome.

But you know damn well thick and hot today is like double thick tomorrow. I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. I think for me the one thing is that I can find somewhat similar. Is that you respect women? Yeah, that too. Is I could see someone, a guy or a girl or whatever, at a certain – like just certain people I look at and i'm like i know what

you look like at 52 really i know what you look like when you're 52 i've seen a version of you before at that age and i could already tell what you looked like and what you look like now and what you look like in a couple i know what you look like at 52 years old how gray is my beard gonna be in five and a half years you're just not one of those people i can't do that with you wow you just did to me what i did to my audience no but i can't do with everyone i just said sometimes and it wasn't my superpower i wasn't like you know what i could do with every single girl that i see no it's just like sometimes i look at someone i'm like i know what you look like when you're 52 and i feel like that's what you look like when you're 52. I don't feel like that's

what you feel like when you look and you're like, you'll be fat. Yeah, that's interesting because that is a parallel power. Now, do they have to be, how old do they have to be before you can do this? Right? Like, could you do it to a seven-year-old? It could be eight years, yeah, it could be eight years old or she could be like

20 years old. It doesn't matter. But you said she, is it mostly women? Between eight and 20. Yeah, we're not going to objectify men that's cruel harley while you were gone said that he can look at a lot of people and project what they'll be like at 52 that he's seen a version of them that are 52 years old yeah sometimes i look at a person i can see like flatly refuse to do this on camera uh Yeah, Woody also definitely pussied out. And that should be the number one upvoted link. Unsub. And the thing is, I actually, like, I'll see, like, a shit kid at the mall, like, crying.

And I'll look, and I'll be like, I know what you look like as an adult. What gave you this power? Wow. It's not a power, man. It's just a casual thing. I look at it. what gave you this power has always been excellent it's not a power man it's just a casual thing I thought for sure when you said that you were taking like people 35 to 45 and advancing them to 52

I didn't know you could do it with like newborns and yeah you never see like physically traveling through time seeing them looking at them and fucking them fucking their future version he does it with his own sperm no but if you never do that you've never looked at a person's face you're like i know what you look like as an old woman

i see you i don't think i've ever cognizantly like thought that process but i think you're maybe i'm probably not as good as i've like seen like i've i've like worked at like like in schools or like at summer camps yeah but i go like a hundred years further past no i see like i'll see like i'll see like a skeleton i'll see like an eight-year-old girl and she'll be like no here's what we're gonna do because this is how i want it in my head i'm like you little cunt i know what type of jewish mom you're gonna be at 50 something years old i already see it i hear you i know who you are and you may think that you're just being bossy with your friends but i know your future every step of the way is this vision already with jews or is it something

you could definitely stronger with jews absolutely just because that's just the culture that like you know i'll interact with the most you know what i mean that's amazing you know i black people too not a lot of black friends growing up played played sports i've seen all their dads i've seen all their grandpappies you know who i feel like i can do that a little bit with italian people because i grew up in new jersey and and there were a lot of people in new jersey that identify as Italian. Italian is like their culture. They say Italian shit when you eat and it's like, yeah, I know what

you're like as a dad. I'm similar. I'm also ethnically centered with my predictive abilities. I can predict very well what a Chinese person will look like when they're 40 years older. Very, very well.

Spot on, actually. We don't really – I believe you. Are you saying Chinese people look the same? They don't need an impression of that. No, no, no. I'm saying that that's how good my skill is. Because there's so much diversity within that group. I knew that's where you were headed.

I know, right? If you add 40 years to my dog, I can tell what it will look like. That's true. Yeah, probably the same dog but with one of those dog tumors they get when they get old. 40 years? More than that. No, four years. Oh, no, I went 40.

Oh, yeah. It'll look like a dead dog. It'll look like a dog that's been dead for 37 years. 39. Do you guys watch the new chapelle special yet yes i only read about i thought it was it was hilarious i thought it was so funny highlights i saw people bitching and moaning his his best bit on there was on netflix uh uh yeah yeah it's on netflix people were like spurging out about it saying that it was the most terrible thing ever and it wasn't woke and it was bad and then i watched it and it's on Netflix. People were like spurging out about it, saying that it was the most terrible thing ever and it wasn't woke and it was bad.

And then I watched it and it's like... Fuck woke. Of course it's not going to be woke. Yeah, it's like, first of all, you fucking idiots. You clearly never watched the Chappelle show. You never watched what he's actually done in the past, how hilarious that guy is. You don't care.

You just... That is a man you just wanted him entirely different than i thought he would age physically yeah his eyes are so wet now i never expected his eyes to be so wet absolutely they're just like soaking wet every like you watch the special and you're like this guy's eyes are dripping you know what else else is wet? The inside of his mouth. Oh, my God. No, but not like this, though. It would be like the equivalent of being like if someone's talking, but they have white spit gathering on the corners,

and they just keep talking. There's more and more spit. He's sitting there talking, and his eyes are soaking wet. I can't believe I didn't notice his wet eyes. Yeah, look at that. They're drenched, man. Was it because he was probably ripped out of his mind? His eyeballs.

Dude, I have it on good authority. The entire inside of his body is soaking wet. Definitely. You got some wet bones in there. We know about that bloody sponge. The one thing about in Chappelle's special and to the audience at home that are gonna

watch it like boiler ish kind of it's you know it's like i'm not gonna tell the joke but like he's talking about the uh hbo special the michael jackson one and i thought the craziest thing out of the entire special whatever he says you know like literally fuck everyone you know what i mean when he's like that that hbo special i don't believe the motherfuckers that's like that's ballsy that wasn't to come out and be like these two guys who said that they were molested and just put on like a four-hour documentary like teary-eyed with their family being like that michael jackson all that him like i don't believe these motherfuckers i watched the whole thing that's ballsy i saw i thought i thought that was ballsier i thought that was crazier i thought that was like that's just like where my head goes at with everything that he spoke about i was like oh that's the wildest thing he said so harley give

me the floor for a second here i went to a comedy bro it's your your show. Steve Hofstetter did a thing in Raleigh. And it was fascinating to me the way he worked the crowd. Right? So he goes up there. He talks about what bad crowds are like and how they say, I'm a hard laugh. And it's not easy to get me to react and how gay that is. He didn't use gay, but whatever. And it primed the whole crowd to laugh a little more easily.

And it worked. And it was just an expert who applied his craft now back to chapelle chapelle does impressions right and he can't do impressions he did one i forget what it was then another was like duh i don't like what you said you kind of suck you know what that impression is that's you that's you the audience that's what you look like to me every time you fuss about not being woke enough. And then- He literally does that bit.

So that's like, how can anyone write articles about it after that? So that leads into the Michael Jackson thing. He's basically saying, if you fuss at me, you're a dork. And then he does something that you would otherwise fuss at. And it was a kind of audience control

that I thought was really neat. It was neat. And I saw that. And he does that whole point where he's like yeah like don't be that type of audience i'm like yeah of course not he's like those people that got molested by michael jackson i don't believe him i was like oh oh right i thought i was ready for some transgender that's not even the bad part how you're skipping over the interesting thing the interesting thing goes like this. He says, and if they did get raped by Michael Jackson, dude, you got raped by Michael Jackson. The rest of us all got raped by normal people.

What do we get? Awkward Thanksgiving dinners? Right? We get awkward Thanksgivings. You get raped by Michael Jackson, which is pretty awesome. You show up to school the next morning. You got your dick sucked by the King of Pop. Yeah.

Like, hey, Billy. Hey, Billy, how was your weekend? How was my weekend? Michael Jackson sucked my dick. Right? Dude, it's hilarious. There's definitely... Yeah, it's funny.

But the way the crowd control... The Jussie Smollett stuff killed it. I love that. That was really funny, too. That was so good at the end. Yeah, like the last 15 minutes, guys. We all know. He goes on this bit about jesse smallett and he goes in he goes in on that you should you know what's funny like people get on r kelly for 20 years i oh yeah the r kelly thing he's been making fun of him for a while which i i don't get enough up i think it's hilarious

but it's funny that the same people who are like freaking the fuck out being like oh this is so not woke this is so of punching down comedy this is so bad it's like now try watching his show from 12 13 years ago and tell me because this special he just released

makes his show I'm sorry his show makes this special look very tame are you right? His show was out there. I don't remember it like that. I remember the Charlie Murphy stories. He told two. One, of course, was the Rick James thing and another, the Prince one.

They weren't punching down. And then, what else? I'm not saying he actually was punching. I hate those terms anyway because it's just a way for people to try and relegate the kind of comedy you can do. But it's not that he actually was punching. I hate those terms anyway because it's just the way people try and relegate the kind of comedy you can do. But it's not that he did those things. It's that people are accusing him of doing that in this special. Meanwhile, it's like, have you ever seen his sketch where he's a black KKK member who's blind and has a white wife?

Not really. Why don't you quote it for us? I'm going to quote it. What are your favorite lines from that skit? Well, So if people haven't seen this skit, I divorced her for marrying a bird. He's an incredibly racist.

Yeah, people haven't seen this skit. Yeah, you'll understand why we don't like, why it's hard to enjoy YouTube skits after that. Because we grew up with, I feel like, the best sketch comedy ever. Dave Chappelle, SNL. I thought this was one of the best written skits ever. It really was. It was the kind of thing that gets you to gut laugh, not just to titter.

This was 20 years ago. People haven't seen it. Basically, he's a black guy, David Chappelle, who thinks he's white because he's blind. And he's a KKK member, and he hates black people. And it's a black guy david chappelle who thinks he's white because he's blind and he's a kkk member and he hates black people and it's pretty funny premise see even the premise makes you laugh it is it's like if you like said that you're like that's uh a whole show on netflix in this day and age yeah go pitch the pitch the series to netflix yeah. No, I always thought that the Chappelle show was like some of the best skits ever.

And that's why I watched some Instagram skits or whatever that exist in this day and age with millions of views. And I'm like, man, I grew up with Dave Chappelle skits. Some kid is out there growing up with this this shit yeah this shit right here well and it's because like so many comedy troops now are afraid of offending people so they go with that haha so random humor they're also really unfunny yeah they're also not funny that's stupid and stupid yeah they were but boy they were really handsome on Vine a couple years ago. And they got soft dicks. And they ain't got that blue chew.

So what? TikTok. Is the premise behind TikTok that every video has a change? Like Harlem drop or whatever? I forget what the title is. No, it's like the premise of TikTok is like there's a boardroom and they're like, hear me out. Picture Vine. with TikTok is like... There's a boardroom and they're like... Hear me out. Picture Vine.

Now picture it worse. It's called TikTok and we're dropping it right now. The kids are going to fucking love it. How did TikTok change? If I introduced just freaking WoodyVid, no one's going to use it? It doesn't have a thing? What was TikTok's gimmick though woody vid's good yeah i'll be exactly what you're getting on woody everything i hope for is what i'm getting harley yeah yeah um tiktok i thought it was it was

musically at first and you just got to like make short videos like quoting movies or lip syncing. And that was it. And then a couple kids get like 40 million followers and they're like, it's called TikTok now and it's a thing. Yeah, the TikTok videos I've seen all have like a little change. They're 10 seconds long and five seconds through the big alteration happens. I thought that was their thing

I've never been to TikTok Or the dot com But I followed an account called Ironic TikToks On Twitter for a while until it got banned And that was pretty funny Yeah they go big on Reddit every once in a blue moon So that's my lens Yeah

Dude so The Center for Disease Control Has their first vaping death so that's a thing i guess i was reading that and apparently it's more uh like homemade marijuana or uh like weed oil or weed whatever concentrate vapes that are doing this the most yeah is that not what you read that's what no it's in line i i am i think that the worst the least healthy ones i mean to say are sometimes like random made or from smaller companies that maybe don't do the same quality control as the big ones but uh you know again, none of them seem to really advertise what's in there, and they all have some sort of risk.

Also, how heavy are they vaping is a thing. Some people vape every breath. Outrageous. Yeah, and that's a thing. But I don't know. I saw it, and I was like like i remember when they all told me vaping was healthy and that it had no risk the guy whippersnappers there's no way because there's always some risk the dude who invented aspartame must have been like we get all most of the flavor

none of the downside you You don't get fat. And then just like three decades later, they're like, yeah, this isn't totally dope. Seems like by the time they figure it out, we'll be rich and dead. Kind of like cigarettes in like the 19... Actually, I was reading something like a year or two ago. You know how we all are like led to believe like oh in the 1950s they didn't even know smoking was bad like they totally knew smoking was bad they being like like a lot of matters and the manufacturers of them of cigarettes and then also fucking i didn't

know this hitler apparently was like one of the first big anti-smoking people like in the world and that made me laugh because it was like not that's unexpected yeah the the cigarette thing to me has parallels to like the climate change thing where like 98 of people all see what's obvious and like recordable data and then the other two percent are like well but there is a little bit of uh you know there's a lack of consensus over this and cigarettes could still be cool right right well it's never come into debate whether or not they're cool they let it let the record show they are very cool to drink. We are not advertising to children. But no, you've got some cigarette-sponsored

research out there that says they're perfectly healthy and keeps your anxiety down. What's the next thing that's going to get blown out of the water that's super fucking bad for you, do you think? Something that right now we don't think is that bad. I was going to say

SSRIs, but it's already understood enough that SSRIs fuck with you really bad. Social media, for sure. Porn consumption, we already know that's terrible for you. See, the ones I'm thinking of are also already known. Porn consumption is bad for us? Where do we know that from? I mean, there aren't a ton of studies that go into porn, but it does skew people's perception of reality when it comes to sex people have like uh like and i was like i always look for reddits to make fun of and i'll have people link me things

and one of them was called no fap which means like no masturbating and i went into reading it like uh i'm gonna make fun of these guys this is gonna be funny who chinese people again no no we're taking people that don't masturbate every time yeah there's a reddit called called no fap and i was i was like going through there like looking for funny stuff to make fun of and then like reading some other things i was like shit these guys have like real deal addictions to pornography in like that they're looking at multiple multiple times a day have like ED. They can't get hard for real women. They have no confidence. They have no sociability,

no ability to differentiate what they see on the screen versus what reality is. And it's like, shit, like pornography really is. Hold on. It's not a good thing. Hold on with that fucking conclusion. Can I jump in before Filthy, please? You're telling me an extreme of something?

Here's my take on it. And since Filthy's a pornography expert, he'll tell me if i'm right or wrong i think that watching a lot of pornography doesn't ruin or skew your perception of what sex is it just raises the bar it's bad sex women that want you to think that these acts are not normal part of everyday sex you know lame women don't enjoy pegging and anal and choking and choking out and things but good women understand that's what's cool filthy am i right no

good girls want to get choked and slapped and spit in their mouth. Lame girls don't want to put on a toy and fuck me in the ass. Would you agree with this? You agree, right? No, I agree. I agree because that's pretty funny. It's very funny. Lame girls don't want to peg me

good girls i guess wall spit in their mouth ready to ready to go off yeah i'm about to bust so let's get this out bust man all over the that yeah it's perfect no um a little no uh so no just the point being that what you're talking about though is you're talking about the extremity of something right you're not talking about the habit itself what you just described is someone who is addicted to something right and addicted in literally the definitional defense of that the um definitional element of that which is it impacts the rest of their life negatively. If you start from that position, everything's bad.

It doesn't matter what it is. It can be drinking water. It can be rock climbing. It can be working out. It can be fasting. It doesn't matter. If you go to the extreme of you start with the definition of this is negatively impactful,

then it doesn't matter what that extreme is. So what you're talking about, you're like, okay, you went to this group, this fapping group. And these are the people with these really serious porn problems. It has nothing to do with pornography. It has everything to do with the addictive personality of that, right?

It has everything to do with that being them unable to regulate. So I don't know. How does that, as an attack on pornography, that seems like a very weak attack on pornography. I wasn't really making an attack on porn. I was just saying it does seem like it has negative effects on young men and that they have what other generations didn't have in previous generations if you wanted to get laid if you wanted to get the satisfaction of seeing a naked body and coming you had to work out you had to have a nice job you

had to be stable you had to get a woman or you had to go and do hookup culture and stuff which wasn't nearly as loose or you just went to the cigar store and bought whereas now It seems like there is like like the whole incel phenomenon we see now I could see that as being kind of caused a little bit by porn as people getting in their head an unrealistic expectation for what relationships are and then they get into a feedback loop of why would i bother improving myself to get a woman when i could just do this and oh i feel bad and guilty about that but to your point they feel bad and guilty about that i would think because unlike normal people they're allowing it to become a maladaptive thing where their whole

life is now ruled by masturbation and they can't but that the extremity of that is the problem yeah but also the readily available nature of it leads to that you know that but i don't like that i don't like being like oh if we have it available then uh it's gonna make us what about things what about pot because i'd rather i'd rather we have all the porn here, all the pot here, all the alcohol, and if you're going to drink and jerk yourself to death, that is the choice that you've... maybe potentially not made or maybe

we enabled, but survival is the fittest. 20 minutes on the anti-masturbation forum today. I don't know what I'm talking about. Taylor says it creates an unrealistic expectation of a... Because I'm talking about. Taylor says it creates an unrealistic expectation of a... Because I'm also in favor of guns.

I'm also in favor of guns, and you can make that same argument against firearms if you wanted to, you know? Taylor's claiming it's a... I'm actually... I'm okay with... I'm okay with guns. Is this a coordinated effort where every time I say anything... Yes. It was... Chiz told me coming

on to that, coming on to this episode, that our whole goal was to stop waving a fucking word. Oh, I was that was chis told me coming on to that coming on to this episode that our whole goal was to stop wavy thing i thought that was the weekly bit each and every week no go for it what do you know the timing is lost but carry on i hate that when you got like a super funny joke and then everything moves past you're like damn it well i guess that one's just for me but yeah that i don't know the no and that is something like that i saw from that no fap thing is like lots of dudes these are clearly people with pornography addictions and they talk about like the funny part of it that i got was guys being like i'm i'm 20 days free of jerking off and pornography and my head's clear.

I feel stronger. I feel faster. I feel wiser. I feel like I can take on the world. And it's like, all right, well, you sell down, Sparkus. But if it makes you feel that way, then good for you. But I believe that a little bit. I remember when we played football back in the day, day like the day before game day no jerking off you don't want to jerk off and

even dave chapelle has a bit about that he's like you ever see a man that comes on his own belly that's the least threatening creature in all of existence and it's so true like you know but like i and i always understood it as simple. Like, even when I was, like, 15, our coaches would be like, it's game day tomorrow, so no handjobs from your girlfriends, no jerking off, none of that. And I'd be like, that makes sense. They were very hands-on. I'll be out there.

I'll be like, I want to fucking get this nut! I'll get this nut! Your coach told you not to get a handjob? But if, like, my girlfriend gives me a blowjob, I'll come out on the field, and I'll be like, yo, win or lose, I'll get my dick sucked. Harley, circle back here. Did your coach really give you sexual advice at 15 years old?

Yeah, he'd be like, boys, we win this game and I will finish each and every one of you in the showers. He'd be like, boys, take this blue shoe. Meet me in the shower room. No, he literally was like, and every coach. It's multiple coaches. It would be like game day tomorrow. No jerking off, no hand jobs, no blow jobs.

That's it. And it made sense in my brain. I never had a coach tell me that. When I'm going to the gym, when I'm into working out, I'll be like, I want to jerk off and I want to work out, but I'm going to work out and then jerk off. Yeah. Order matters for sure.

So driving up and down from, so I just came back from Milwaukee the other day, right? It's about an hour and a half drive. And on the way back, there's a series of, oh my God, what the fuck? What am I looking for? The large, I can't think of the word. Jews.

No. Yeah. Let's do this. Play this game. Advertis advertisements on large signs billboard this guy couldn't even think of billboard what the hell

no I'm kidding there's always so a series of billboards and one of them says pornography leads to human sex trafficking that's one of the fucking billboards that I drive by on a regular basis no human sex trafficking leads to some kinds of pornography well that is a terrible

sentence take it back causation is often confused with correlation is it the egg or the platypus what came first yeah but it just it just like this strikes me like that right like i don't know like this feels like bullshit to me yeah okay maybe human sex drive certainly something that's power i find that it's a personally subjectively serious drive right like if i'm aware if i haven't come in a while that's that's an impact i have a i have a change in perception related to that more interested in women as a whole more interested looking at women for example etc right you put up with their stupid ass stories tell her you're not a woman stop talking so but the point being that i can buy that there is some, there's some elevate, there's some drive, a human drive related to sexuality, but I have a really hard time buying that

the inherent, that consumption of human sexuality is in some way related to negativity above and beyond, above and beyond maybe the idea that this is normal human sexuality or above and beyond the idea that this is perhaps addictive personality. I hear where you're coming from. I'm not really hard pressed either way. I would like to like just continue in that. Do you think that there is no impact on human sexuality or human sexual thought when someone is watching porn versus not watching porn?

So someone who doesn't watch porn at all versus someone who watches every day, do you think there's no difference in their conception and idealization of human sexuality? No, absolutely not. Of course not, because there's going to be things like normalization, like what people see as normal behavior. There's going to be just like exposure to stuff. I guess it depends on the porn. Watching porn inspires excellence in sexual relationships. That's what you're saying.

Could be. I don't think that's a... Depends on the type of porn, right? You know, if this is like... We've listed the kinds already. No, no, no. I like Filthy's actual answer there. I like that.

It does depend on the kind. Okay. All right. That's all. Nuance on that. Yeah. That's all? Man, I wish I knew more

so I could get passionate about that. I like that Taylor became the... Well, we could talk about the Silmarillion again if you want taylor oh without getting interrupted because i'm trying to talk about the the valar and all that all that gay shit do you guys ever go through your old stuff like i can't believe sorry to interrupt i know i'm going to open up facebook after this be like elves fucking each other gay elves sucking each other off harley i do believe you're looking forward to some of this i'm gonna get like all gay i'm gonna get all gay dwarf gay elf advertising to me like 100 that's what's

happening i thought you meant your followers were gonna send it to you and i'm like well now they are and now they are was gimli was the son of now they are. Gimli was the son of Gloin. You know who Gloin was the son of? Groin. Groin. Literally Groin. Because he forged the way for dwarven pornography in Middle Earth.

That's not actually. I believe that. His name's Groin? Gimli's grandpa's name was Groin. That's stupid. Whoever wrote that is a fucking idiot. Dude, he lost his mind writing Lord of the Rings.

Yeah, yeah. Anyone that reads it, what does that mean about them? Anyone that reads it becomes transitively retarded. You finish Lord of the Rings, you close the book, you're like, well, I'm racist now

to Chinese and black people well i don't care for orcs or really anyone you know what i fuck white people too fuck them you know it's just the all the groups but i was going through uh i was at my my grandma's house this past weekend hanging out with family and doing shit and she brought out one of like this giant we're on porn hub mentality we're talking about porn so i assume you fuck your family because that's like the tip that i've been on lately i'm white trash is fucked so obviously i fucked my whole family and gilf sucks gilf sucks grand grandson at thanksgiving taylor comes in her and his grandma harley he's trying to say something how did how did you know that was the whole title of the video?

Because I jerked off to it. With the stutters. I jerked off to that. I came to you. Coming to your grandma. Sorry. I've been looking at, like, I got two full tubs of old shit that I did as a kid. First of all, like, journals and, like and like things i wrote it's baffling

i'm not that bright right now but i was firmly in the retard camp as a kid i'm i'm realizing all the things i was too yeah and like i found like odd thing like i've never had an artistic bend to myself at all and i found we had when we were kids when i was in kindergarten you were either an indian or a pilgrim for our little play and so you had to take a paper plate and design and put on the pilgrim or the indian face depending what wow what it was and then you'd have like uh you'd be i was a pilgrim and i looked at my pilgrim face and it is fucking horrifying. Oh my God. That's what the pilgrims were like.

I drew this. This was my pilgrim face from 1995. Did it have a ghost costume that came with it? No. Yeah, seriously. That's what I drew pilgrims as. And I realized that all of my drawings as a kid are the same kind of drawings in horror

movies that would scare the shit out of you because this mouth style of just square with jagged teeth that everyone was a vampire everyone's a vampire mother and my own father and myself and everyone with jagged ass scary teeth and so so tell your black eyes this is my question for you you're obviously talking shit about your past self yeah do you think your future self is talking this kind of shit about you of course of course yeah absolutely also yeah i'm like every day that goes by i realize i'm more retarded than i thought i was the day before yeah yeah you just realize like man it turns out i don't know shit about anything i'll do a vlog somewhere somewhere in this conversation we were talking

about like talking about our previous selves like and like oh woody was talking about like wanting to be one of the teenagers and like internally i'm like fuck that yeah it was like i want to climb the walls like the teenagers do. Yeah, right. Exactly. There's so many teenagers and not enough women. I don't want to be a teenager again. I want every ounce of fucking heart and wisdom that I have right now. That's barely enough to keep going in this world. I have no interest in going backwards whatsoever

on that. Yeah, you were like, I want to be a teenager. I want one of the white ones, though. You're like, I want to be a white boy. That's a quote. I want to be a white boy. That's a quote. I want to be a white boy again. I want to be a white boy. Yeah, you're saying. So he.

Something. Go on, go on. Well, I was going to say something. I was going to say that. Well, I lost my train of thought, actually. Yeah, me too. Sorry. Oh, we both lost it. Our trains collided and we're left with nothing we're left with nothing no survivors hey wait that's something to do with you woody all right this is actually it was about

you my thought talk talk talk everyone talk what do you want to something. Taylor, how are you tonight? Woody, if I could just have the floor for a second. Don't. Whatever you're going to say, don't. Okay, you have the floor back. Go ahead. Taylor, did you want to bring up something or you want me to go? I was saying I've got two big tubs of shit I did as a kid. Leave a comment if you think it would be funny for me to pull out some old

worksheets and old journal things there was one time when i was like 11 that my mom made me like keep a journal for a little bit and i only wrote in it for like five days and but it's it's pretty fucking funny the shit i wrote in there and so maybe that would be a good bit maybe not it's got my vote yeah come on taylor give us a taste yeah give us a little taste like i was literally saying in the future because there are two enormous tubs full of shit and i have no idea where that you need to prep a little bit i would need to like search through that and find it but you've got my vote for future yeah it could be funny but we'll see we'll see it it turns out like you're just a retard as a kid. Just full on.

When does that rub off? I'm 28 and it hasn't rubbed off yet. Dude, I'm 46 and sometimes I'm so stupid. It's like, how did I even do the things I did? Was that the same me? No, I mean, that never changes, right? I fucking hate working out.

How do I get myself to work out? I cheat. I hack the brain. I don't let myself decide on Monday morning or Monday afternoon when I finish work that I want to go fucking work out. I just have a routine. I go work out. I plan that ahead of time because I know if I let my stupid fucking self decide that at Monday afternoon, I'm not going to go do it. Yeah.

Did I tell you about my friend with the alcoholic fiance? I don't know. No, I don't believe so. This is a guy I play hockey with. Super successful guy. Really cool. Went to Harvard. And his fiance was an alcoholic. And he was

talking about the challenges she was going through as she was sort of beating alcoholism and what she was getting up to and he's like woody you you wake up every day and you go to work it's not really a decision that you make it's just kind of a autopilot that you do he's like but alcoholics like at least here his fiancee every day she wakes up and sort of decides what she's going to do the the day is an empty or a white sheet of paper that she can write any way she wants to she might go to work she might get

drunk she might go to town she might go shopping she might do anything that sounds dope it's like wait what like you don't just you have a job you have a job you told people you'd be there in the morning at nine and she decides whether or not she keeps that obligation on a daily basis she doesn't just autopilot there and uh he's like you're describing my video editors sometimes decide they'll show up and do the work they promise and sometimes they decide they're doing they're going to town having a fucking uh a shopping trip i hear you this makes sense i can relate well you've just made me appreciate my timeline and thumbnail guys so shout out to you reliable people on pka uh i'm thankful

i don't have that but uh to you legit raid timeline um but yeah i don't know so that it tied into what you were saying like that you don't decide to work out you just work out because that's what you're doing now because at some point i sat down when i'm being cognizant and thinking about this shit and said this is one a goal that i want this is something that's important to me and i'm going to make it happen for this but i don't make that decision again and again and again. You know, like we, I think we've had this conversation on chat on this before,

right? Like, you know, your wife is like, pour chips into a bowl, right? I don't buy fucking chips because if I have chips in the fucking house, I'll eat chips, right?

Like it's, it's like, it's the, it's the, the, the intelligence of being, cause, cause this was the comment of like,

you're still an idiot at this age. And I agree 100%. Like I never got better at some level on some part of me expected that I would get better over time. I would learn to enjoy working out. I would learn to understand that I shouldn't eat this now or drink this now because it will be better for me. Never changed.

I still have the same stupid, dumb impulses I've had all my life of, I want this now, and I want to eat this or sugar or salt or whatever it happens to be right and i want to cheese it so bad right exactly the fucking workaround is not any of that it's just to sit back and realize you're always going to be like that and to plan around it that's the workaround that's that i feel like you do a good job getting yourself to work out because well in your noose i'm not sure if you're like climbing situation has changed where like there's still nowhere to go around you but for a while you kind of worked out by fooling yourself with like oh i'm going to this dope activity that i have a blast with

yeah absolutely yeah i want to do that again so yeah we'll see i looked at it it's about 1200 a year to take classes at the local university to get access to their climbing wall. I go fucking $100 a year. I go audit that shit. And if I can find some university courses that are useful to me, I think, and I might take some business courses just for like my profession and then use that as a way to get back into the fucking climbing wall that I can access at the local gym.

If I'm actually a part of the university, just so I can climb again first of all philby i think that's really cool second move how much is it climbing gym because i'm here in a hundred bucks a month and i'm wondering if that's competitive a hundred bucks a fucking month no no that's that's what 1200 a year is oh i see yeah yeah so about four to four to six hundred a year for a gym so it's about twice as much but there are none around you right right nothing if i would pay that i'd happily pay that again to be access to climbing gyms there's nothing around me what you're working out now like are you doing weight training or just like doing nine rounds so um what was that i'm sorry nine round it's a high intensity interval training about 30 minutes a couple times i do about four times a week right now. I go in, they do something stupid. It's a lot of pushups, fucking punches, kicks, jumping,

this type of shit, right? It's kind of like CrossFit style. Yeah, kind of. It's a little bit less, I think, intense than that. It's nice that they design a workout for me. It's different every time I go. They provide motivation, happy. They go in, they're super gung-ho.

They greet you by name on your way out they're like when will you be there when will you be back you know they play loud fucking like high energy music it's all the shit that i don't have to do i'm paying them for them to motivate me in a billion different ways yeah they set the whole atmosphere for you one of the most effective ways to not miss workouts is to have someone expect you yeah whether that be a workout partner or in this case, you know, the team that's pretty neat. And, and the workout must be pretty quick if it's high intense, 30 minutes, would you say? Yeah. It's not the greatest workout. I don't build anything. It's good for like toning and good for kind of like, just like calorie kind of shit. Right. So it's, it's, it's, you know, I burn 600 calories or something in a

half hour or whatever the fuck it is. And it's know it's pretty good like you know it's high intensity stuff and like it's like trimming but it's like i'm losing muscle mass i haven't climbed in a year and i can feel it in like my shoulders and back and the rest of it like i'm losing physical muscle mass have you thought about adding like some weight training in there just supplementary to keep your muscle mass up god i'm hoping not to do it because i've had a mixed track record with that i've done that in the past for some some time where it's been only successful and then sometimes it's just like i'm just bored with it it's a boring activity for me so like i'm totally like there are like when i go down in my i have a gym in my basement and like when i go down there and like start doing my routine there's like there are exercises i know

that i hate and then ones where like like i'll purposely structure my workouts where it's like all right let's get the stuff out of the way that i don't like in the beginning all right let's get squats done that doesn't suck like i never skip squats because i've talked to woody about it all the squats does build your lower body muscle your posterior chain what does that mean more muscle mass means i can eat more snacks bitch and so i gotta i feel that way and then like i tell my student that all the time because i set a precedent a long time ago on my stream that i would drink alcohol and stream from time to time and now like it's like today's a workout day i can't have that can't have booze on stream tonight because i'm gonna go fucking work out you know so sorry i didn't derail oh no no you're fine we've been interrupting everybody all night who fucking cares it yeah but i thought we were just coordinating on woody

bench damn it i've ruined the coordination like but like bench press and overhead press i really enjoy those those are a lot of fun like especially overhead press with the barbell because it just you just feel triumphant when you're lifting it over your head like you just feel like man i'm i'm cool right now aren't i even though you're not and you're in a basement by yourself with a bunch of sticky traps with spiders on them so i'm not actually cool but it feels good but you know then i used to be hard as fuck over farmer's walks i still am i love that exercise because it hits you so hard it's very difficult but now ever since i added more weight to it like i dread it because it's so hard and

it's like oh no is this what every workout's gonna be in the future just adding weight to the point that i dread it like i'm talking to a friend who uh cited me something and i i wish i had asked him i guess i can go back and ask him maybe i should i should go back and ask for the citation on this he was telling me that every step you add reduces the chance i can't remember if it added a 50 fail or reduce the chance that you would succeed in the task by 50 and this has always been true for me i want to i want for a run. I run out of my house. I take a circuit, not a fucking lap system, because I don't want to have a position where I can stop easily. I go in a circuit.

So I run the entire fucking circuit. I did this with biking. I did this with climbing. So the idea of having weights in the house is actually really appealing to me because it removes half the steps. I don't have to go decide, like, shit, it's been a long day. I want to get my shit on and get in the car, the car drive to the gym and go lift i walk downstairs the difference like it doesn't seem like much when because you're in you're literally in a task designed to burn

calories and build muscle it doesn't seem like a big thing but mentally it becomes a big thing here's what i found for me at least it me as well like you have a schedule but it's like ah you know i could work out now but it'll be there in 90 minutes. I'm going to do this other thing. I'm going to slack it. Oh, I see. Because it's at home. Constant availability allows you not to have as strict a schedule as you do now.

Yeah. I can see that because like my gym closes at 7. So I have to finish work and go. That's how it has to be for me i'll guilt myself like if i'm like if i'm upstairs or in my basement tv room or like watching tv and i haven't worked out for the evening yet like the main thought in my head is like you lazy piece of shit like there's a squat rack and your bar and everything you need 20 feet from you and you're going to not work out. What?

You talk this up. Do you need me to bring it to you? Yeah. And so like usually that self shame is enough for me to be like, you know what, Taylor? Get your fucking lazy ass in there and do it. You always told yourself you'll never miss a workout if the gym is in the basement. And like to toot my own horn i really rarely miss a workout and part of that is because i really enjoy it it's fun like like lifting more seeing the numbers go up maybe that's some form of autism is it fun to do it or fun to have done it it's like a a lift like squats it's fun to have done it bench press overhead press i actively like i

enjoy doing it like sometimes i'm okay when i get there wait and you'll stop doing that and but if i add enough weight it'll it'll get to the point where i'm not enjoying it anymore like i can tap their motivation when i go and i'm happy to have gone and i like the physical results of doing it and i hate when I don't do it for periods of time. Like I'm aware of that and feel shitty about it, but I don't think I'm ever at the point where, where it's actual workout, not where I'm tricking myself from going climbing, which is fucking great. And I love climbing, but when I'm going to just like work out for workout sake, I am rarely at the point ahead of time where I'm like, I want to do this. Sometimes I might be

like, I'm feeling good. I'm happy to go go do it but rarely is it because this is something i'm looking forward to you got to get back somewhere where you can climb man yeah i know man i know i know you need that yeah i remembered are your forearms like shrinking away like can you feel it because i mean i know climbers have chest back forearms yep yep and it was three times a week what i found i climbed for five years uh five or six years without without with the gym real close if i climbed three times a week i had improvements two times a week i was maintaining one time a week or uh you know less than two times a week and i was declining it's been a year of zero like i'm so fucking bummed like i'm gonna go and i'm gonna do it at some point and it's gonna be be like, yeah, that's real hard. But you've got the muscle

memory from years of doing it, so you'll pop it. Sure, I can relearn faster. Sure. Yeah. Just go on a two-month regimen of drinking a bunch of protein shakes and climbing three, four times a week. You'll be right back. Do they make alcoholic protein shakes? They do? Good. Seems like steroids are where you want to be.

Okay. I saw they had alcoholic protein beer, which seems like just a where you want to be. I saw they had alcohol like protein beer, which seems like just a dumb thing to drink. Like protein beer. Protein beer. Well, I mean, I'll try it.

Which beer has the most protein? If you're Googling this, you have a fucking problem, my friend. Harley, as an adult, what's one thing you should have mastered by now but haven't? Who, me? Yeah. I can give you a list of things.

Sure. Under 10. How to cook a chicken. Wait, really? I wouldn't have expected that to be on your list. That's right. Do you run a YouTube channel on cooking for 10 years? That's right. Not a lot of chicken in that channel, though.

It is. It's true. Yeah. No, I did. I don't know how to cook. That's number one. You can Google how to cook chicken. Yeah, you can, but that's not the game we're playing right now, is it, though, Taylor?

We're playing a game, aren't we? Filthy, what's something you should have mastered as an adult? Changing a tire. I can do that one. You don't know how to change a tire? No, I can't change a tire. I can change the wheel. Changing the tire itself sounds really hard.

Yeah, all of that, everything you're saying. I can't change the oil on my engine. I can do that. Although, fuck changing a tire. My wife called me. This was middle of the winter during this fucking ridiculous polar vortex winter bullshit that happened. I'm in middle of Wisconsin. It's north up here, right?

My wife calls me. I'm hungover as fuck. Literally, a friend crashed at my place because we were so drunk the night before. Calls me. She's's like i have a flat uh i've called triple a and i but i'm just down the road i'm like all right so i get up go go out there and you know it's fucking frigid out there and i'm like i start like working on it's just she's driving my car so it's like a car i'm familiar with we've got a spare in the back so i'm like taking the tire off i snapped the fucking metal i bend it that's how cold it is it was i don't know if it was i don't know if it was i assume it was it was very cold i probably was related to that but i'm fucking taking off the

lug nuts of the tire and i bend the fucking uh iron doing that and i'm like all right well and then the triple a guy shows up and does it in like two seconds and I feel like a total fucking douche bag for being unable to do this myself yeah he had a much better tool but I still felt like you know I woke up I felt like such a fucking dude nothing makes you feel like a fucking

that's funny that you felt like a piece of shit cause if I got that call I'd be like that sounds like a you problem not a me problem I was like we have a service I pay money for this shit Calling me The woman I love

Wow wife what a show off this guy I get it You got a wife I get it You're bending them iron with your bare hands Very strong And has a woman that loves him And he has his own car not to be mistaken with the other car they have guys you gotta read between the lines here he's like i got multiple cars

i got a wife and i fucking bend iron and i went home carly's winning me over but then she didn't live up to my porn expectations so there's that oh i didn't live up to her porn expectations. Have you considered Bluetooth? Taylor, wait, I want to do a round table on this. Do you have an adult skill you haven't mastered yet that you should have? How to be accepting of other people's cultures is a good one.

How to be like chill with Chinese people. By the way, I promise you, how to be chill with Chinese people, a book by Taylor, I guarantee the truth. 100%. How to be chill with Chinese people? You don't want to approach them like this.

Okay, there we go. i'm trying to think of something i really i honestly like it's probably tax related like if i were to put the time in and figure out all the real shit you could do with deductions and all the little little strategies you could use like i probably save more money but like the it seems so daunting and scary and i'm so afraid of like the irs and shit that i guarantee i'm a retard and i've overpaid in years past needlessly like that that's probably the adult thing that i need to get on top of is like knowing how to do my taxes in an actually efficient way my father i hate this but you know what mine is signing my own name i can either write it really slowly and lame or i just do this like bumpy little chicken scratch thing that's what

i do when i sign for something i write harley morrissey as fast as i can without taking my pen off the paper and i write like my full name it's like 21 letters and I just write it across it's like a mad scribble across the paper and I'm just like I feel like you know people who can judge handwriting will know this is mine oh not me and I feel like it's not an easy signature to copy mine it's it's a little wavy thing that is like the start of an m and then I just kind of zoom off to the side with this straight line. So it's basically a messed up M followed by a line. Do you guys ever, you know, when you go to the grocery store and they like want you to sign on the pad, like the touch pad, do you guys ever draw penises on there for fun? I don't, but I'm going to now. That sounds like a good idea.

It's pretty funny because you know that shows up on their screen. And they have to hit accept. I do like an alcohol delivery thing. W for the balls and then just a quick little dick. I do a quick little dick. One time I drew a tic-tac-toe board just to see if they cared, and they didn't. So when they come to your house,

when they come to my house to deliver booze, there's this booze delivery app. When they give you, it's like an iPad, and you get the whole page. That's a McDonald's coffee, right? Yeah. You had a McDonald's coffee delivered, and you get booze delivered to your house? I don't fucking leave

this house, bro. Where are you based out of? Toronto, Canada. Yeah, see, we need to get this technology. I don't want to have a house for beers either. This is USA shit, bro. This is us doing our best impression. I'm just more American than you motherfuckers. That may be true.

Anyway, sorry, I didn't mean to derail. I just got excited when you said booze. No! Fuck it! Take the floor, Woody! Did you get interrupted, Harley? You poor thing! the floor woody oh no bad guys did you get interrupted hardly he's not as american as me i'm much too xenophobic

he can't i don't know i felt like like i didn't really answer your question woody about the adult thing like i just feel like i feel like i never fucking really properly grew up and maybe prop maybe part of this is because i'm i stream for living i play video games for living i didn't have to like i i don't know it just feels like at some point i think i again this is this is the same vein of realizing that i'm never going to get to the point where i want to work out right and how i do that is i decide ahead of time i want to work out and cheat my way into it i feel like that's life in some way right like you know i'm never going to want to do the shit that i don't want to do i don't want to go grocery shopping i don't want to bring out the trash i don't want to fucking wash the counters i don't want to go to bed on time you

know i want to stay up as late as i want to fucking like all this shit never gets better and like part of it is like dealing with it and that's that to me is such a revelation over time to like realize that that this is your lifestyle doesn't lend itself to much like i was gonna say too much discipline but that's not right like traditional discipline is a better way the fact that you're doing as well as you are like a streaming schedule where you tell people when to expect you is pretty good and i say this from a jesus that's such a low bar it's not think of any other profession where if you didn't show up on time, that would be complimentary. Really?

Right. You'd just be fired. The thing is, I lived your life when I was your age, right? As a professional gaming entertainer. I'm looking for a term. Yeah, I think that's accurate. And, you know, like, there's not much there that pin you to a normal sleep cycle. Most, not most, but a lot of people who are gaming entertainers

don't have a sleep schedule. They just work their way around the clock. Every three weeks, they claim that they fixed their sleep schedule, when in reality, it just rotated to normal and it's on its way out at any moment. Paging Kyle. I gained weight

when I had your job. And, you know, I sat there, I had your job. And I sat there, I rationalized it. Well, professionally I'm doing well, fitness-wise, worth it, I think. That was my thought process. So anyway, if you had a normal job that you had to show up for at the office, I think that would have an inherent kind of discipline that would make it easier to carry into other things. I wish feedback. I wish there was more feedback in the show.

If I had to complain about one thing about my job, I like my job. I'm pretty happy with it. But it's very difficult to get any sense of what you do if it matters in a positive or negative way. Like if I snap at a viewer, is that a good or a bad thing? You know, like you say on here. It depends how funny it is. I agree, right? But how do you get any fucking indication of that?

If I decide I'm going to stream eight hours a day for six days a week or seven hours a day for five days a week or six hours a day for four days a week, how do I get any fucking sense of this? The number i get is like concurrent viewers i get like what my sponsors will pay me i suppose i get you know it's so fucking hard to get any sense of what i don't get quarterly reports of my my job performance right it's so hard to get a sense of what is going right versus what's going wrong and it's so hard

to not fixate on stupid shit like here's my average concurrence for the day. You know, at some level, everything I do is based on average concurrence. All of the income elements of my stream are based on average concurrence. Average concurrence, our subscriber count, our donation count, our sponsorship elements,

the amount they're going to pay you for that, our opportunities at a certain size, you start getting recruited to tournaments, you recruited to events etc etc but is that the only number that matters it's like i it's so i hate that element of i hate the uncertainty based on lack of feedback that i can trust or interact with and it's hard to figure out cause and effect that that to me i think is inherent in what you're saying. Like if you snap at a viewer, that might actually increase your concurrence in the very short term. Over the long term, that might be a reason that people abandon you. Possibly.

You don't know. I used to think of my videos that I made on my YouTube channel. And it's like, all right, this video got 100,000 views. But this video got 150, we'll say. It wasn't this video that got 150,000 views. It was all the previous videos, earning a certain cred amongst people, 150,000 people wanted to see it.

If I made this video again and again, that could go up or down. I don't know if this one's good based on its views. Its views are based on my track record. So it's so fucking hard to get a sense of what impacts that and what plays into that and what doesn't. Yeah. And then I don't know if you're better at this than me, but there was no stopping how hard you could work. And it felt like everything I did was a positive so i would never end you know

like if i wasn't getting gameplay i was responding to comments or making tweets or writing some facebook posts that i thought was funny or like just interacting with people always all the time and it felt like the more i did the better i I did. Therefore, there's no governor, like if I'm an engine, to hold me back. And I would just work every waking minute. So that would be like, I was going to say 20 hours. I'm exaggerating. That would be like 16 hours a day of working seven days a week. Super hard to disconnect.

And it all, yeah. So I didn't have any kind of regulation on that. Like gaming, for example. Gaming was a, a before i started this gaming was a hobby now that i stream if i if i ever game offline now when i'm not streaming i feel guilty about it right like the the thought is like yeah i should be doing this live if i'm going to do this you know or if i you know with the exception of perhaps checking out something like i might be looking to stream. See, I do that. I do that. And I'm like, let's see how this is for the stream. And I'm like, I'm fucking enjoying this, bro. Little secret stream. I got just me, how it used to be me in this game that I'm seeing if it's good enough for the stream,

but I figured out eight hours ago, it's good enough for the stream. Maybe it's good enough for me to 100% it right now secretly. And then I'll new game plus with the stream but i figured out eight hours ago it's good enough for the stream maybe it's good enough for me to 100 it right now secretly and then i'll new game plus with the stream maybe we'll do that that'll be interesting for them i'll be honest i i do i i do i do a lot of streaming at woody if i could have the floor please motherfucker i just get it. I feel like I've interrupted you a billion times in the stream. No. Ah, fuck him. Fuck his big, hard dad dick. So anyways, I do streaming, and I do 80 hours a month of streaming.

So essentially, it's like a part-time job a full almost full-time you know so 80 hours a month like i don't stream like what's in demand necessarily and i stream on facebook so you can put on the spider-man game and you're gonna get like so many arabs in like writing in arabic like what the fuck a spider-man game like no idea that it even exists you know what i mean they're not like the people the audience isn't as educated so i definitely approach it differently but there is an element of gaming for yourself that will always be tarnished now because even if like should the internet be destroyed but we still have games i'm sure in like 20 years from now you'll be playing a game and be like,

I used to get paid for this shit. Yeah, absolutely. Like, it's going to stay with you forever. Yeah. Part of what took the fun out of gaming for me was this pressure to be. So I played mostly Call of Duty, right? Not a ton of different games. If I played anything else, subscribers generally responded unfavorably to that.

That was the culture at the time. Your subscribers responded unfavorably to your actions? the culture at the time your subscribers responded unfavorably to your actions and they expressed it to you it's true it's true probably the only person to experience that for sure yeah and uh and even though i was woody game and tag the unexceptional gamer they were still supposed to be good games right like if you go 24 and 6 right that's a 4kd probably incalculable but 24 and 6 is not like a youtube worthy score so unless i did something else great like capture 11 flags it would be like that's a good game but it's not one i can use it's not good enough i had to be better than good and you know just imagine starting off like 10 and 3 and being like this sucks fucking 10 and 3 like what are the odds i'm gonna go 20 and 0 from here going forward to make this worth anything and that sucks

the fun out of it well you also i believe audience you had, like at the time when you were going through this, like that Call of Duty audience was a demographic that I shared a lot with on Epic Mealtime as well. And you're just getting like really, I want to say almost like negative, toxic. It's like the Xbox Live days of like, fuck your mother, fuck your mother N-word type people. And that's who you have to

kind of cater to to an extent and they're the people that are like 4.0 kd this guy's so old fuck you woody delete your channel and do something else yeah exactly it's like that you're catering to a particular person as well at that point and i could just imagine that that's difficult like my one approach with my gaming lately fb.gg slash harley warstein um is that it's like it's not primary so i have a shield when someone comes in they're like play fortnite i'm like no no motherfucker i won't play fortnite at all and I think you know what kudos to fortnight I think it's great and I love that you know gaming gaming is just so mainstream and they help make it mainstream and I think that all the updates they do are really awesome and all that

but fuck that game on the stream it's never gonna happen and people will come to them like why don't you ever play popular games i'm like i don't want you here i don't want you here i'm looking for them fucking 29 year old motherfuckers the 29 year old men that want to come through and chill play some games talk about life we don't want your little shit ass here dummy get out that's fine i i worked with this woman a long time ago it was my first professional job did you fuck her no i was she pre-fat yes she was pre-fat not fat pre-fat yeah so um anyway she was grumpy, super grumpy. What a bitch. Yeah. Am I right, filthy? Dude.

So you'd be like, I'm going to make up her name. Like, hey, Sarah. And she'd be like, like, just like, and I think to myself, seriously, that's her fucking good morning. I came in here. Cheery said good morning. And she like grunted at me this bitch is incredibly hard to get along with good at her job actually but incredibly hard to get along with and i on the other hand if they said good morning to me and i would just like yeah good morning they're

like what's wrong with you and it's like ah i set the standard too high i i came in here bubbly every day yeah and now if i'm not fucking super happy and bouncing off the walls and thinking this is the greatest morning to have we had so far they're like ah what you know what's your story i'm the biggest i'm so i'm so like on with that i'm like guy like we're all coming to work and i'm like i'm tired and i'm hung over and i'll come in and I'll take a lot of energy and be like, yo, what's up guys? How's the day going? And someone's like,

in my head I'm like, bitch, you think I want to be fucking happy right now? I don't. I don't want to be happy. I want to be shit like you. But I put this on so you can meet me halfway and put that on too. And if you're not going to put that on, then we're just not putting it on for each other.

It's not going to pan out here. So I feel that, and I am the, like, the music I brought up. I set my expectation too high. Yeah, I'm like the guy the next day where someone's like, uh, Harlow, whatever. And I'm just like, hey. And they're like, whoa, no big greeting now? And I'm the type to be like, that bitch yesterday didn't even fucking whatever,

and now you want to come? And they'll be like, dude, why are you tripping out right now? I'll be like, that bitch yesterday. I'll be like, why are you calling her a bitch? I'll be like, every fucking day she's fucking. It's like, sounds like you have a problem with this person. I'm like, I don't have a problem. I want to be her.

I want to be a bitch every so often. Can I just channel her on Mondays? Maybe just Mondays. Can we work that out? Why do I have to be the super version of me all the time? Or I'm not meeting your expectation for me. So circling back to YouTube, maybe I came in a little too high. You know, like maybe I responded to criticism too much.

I was a little too available i was a little wrong and if i diverted from the best version of me at all then i got too much criticism whereas you know some other grumpy fuck would just be their normal selves all the time and were immune to that so sorry audience that wo Woody showed you how perfect he was, and you expect him to constantly deliver that perfection, because it's not going to happen. Dude, I'm going to talk about other people for a second. I feel like Boogie's going through that right now. Do you guys follow Boogie2899 at all?

You probably know who he is. Boogie was on YouTube for a long time. The Mr. Rogers of YouTube youtube the super nice guy did a francis character but you know like he's just he told the story of a guy came to rob his house and he offered that guy a hot meal and drove him home and helped him out because clearly that guy who's burglarizing him and invading his home needs a hand right that that's the the perfect version of boogie that he had in videos and then he goes on twitch and in my head anyway he's almost self-sabotaging now saying things he knows that will get him in hot water but doing it anyway for some reason like as a self-harm sort of

thing but people are saying this is the real boogie this is the bad and they're they're unsubscribing and they're fussing at him and he's getting all kinds of hate. Anytime his name is mentioned on Reddit, they pile on in a really negative way. Anyone who's talked into a mic as much as us probably has a conceivable montage of things that could be either taken the wrong way or just... Just from this stream alone, actually. All of us.

We're all fucked up. Just this one. We have a difficult time. All of us. We're all fucked up. Just this one. You have a difficult time. So they do that to Boogie all the time. Sometimes they take stuff out of context or not,

but they put together this montage of all the bad things he's ever done, and they're just fussing at him in a really harsh way. And I think that he's got sort of two things that they're working against him. One is he came in so nice he came in mr rogers of youtube and now if he doesn't meet that expectation they're mad and two i think that maybe the version of him that he sometimes puts on twitch is even worse than the real him and he's just not stopping himself for some reason but i think you gotta add a third to that i don't even know him well but the third has

got to be gives a shit like on some level like i i have these relationships with my viewers right okay and in general they're they're just a streamer kind of streamer viewer kind of relationship and some of them some of them like are by long-term mods or long-term subs and there might be a little bit more of a relationship there like i I might enjoy the fact that when I, when I turn on my stream, when I start streaming in the morning, that a couple of regulars show up and I like these people that they're there. They're part of the stream.

They enjoy the shit. They're positive about this, but I'm going to get shit from people sooner or later for what I'm doing in some way or another. And if I'm allowing that to be getting under my skin or getting personal with that like bothering me then I've set myself up for there to be that impact on that like some degree you give them the ability to be impactful on you and of course it's going to impact your bottom line perhaps or impact your viewership or whatever it happens to be but if it's getting to the point where it's emotionally

impacting you well there's some of that you right like some of that how you deal with that can i deal with criticism probably you know like but if i'm sitting there internalizing going like i really want just all positive feedback you're never going to get that on youtube you're never going to get that fucking twitch if your expectation is everyone's going to love you there you're fucked right if you set that up for yourself is where you want to go with that like so i don't know i can see that being doubly doubly fucked if you come in with like it's tough i'll speak from boogie's half because i i feel like i'm there too um maybe you're naturally more inclined to deal with the criticism than some people are whether that be your

educational background or just the way you're wired and you know your chemistry makes you able to say bite me i my ability to say bite me improves all the time year by year it actually does but i'm a four out of ten male you know but but the old me god damn that was a problem i think boogie's there too and and boogie and i had this in common i think we went years and years of just love so when that changes it's a harder twist. Whereas if you come out of the gate with, I'll just say Keemstar, right? Keemstar from the get-go always had a mixed reaction to his trolling videos and such.

That's where he started. And so he never had a turn. There was always that mixed reaction. The turn hurts more than if you just said it bad from the start.'s so weird too like viewers want that it's such a weird thing to be like you know like i'm a game like for gaming right like i'm always if i'm gonna stay sane doing this and i'm gonna stay relevant doing this i have to change games regularly that has to be how it is games have a shelf life games age people move on but fuck your viewers hate you when you change

games you know like it cost me so much in terms of you talk about social capital i pissed off so many viewers changing from a civilization streamer where i started to oh you were a streamer oh yeah oh so you're getting deep cuts well i have his website open here just to make sure he's not racist after the stream and stuff dude i planned on verifying that through the website partly filthy was legit perhaps the best civilization player on earth like that is like honestly to like that's the gayest best at something in the world i often thought that to myself second to that is the best at something in the world. I often thought that to myself. Second to that is the best at sucking another man's dick. I've been trying to get my own dick up my own ass.

I like to think of myself as a proud gay man. I like to think of myself as a proud homosexual. As a proud homosexual, the only fellow who beats me is that cute little fellow, Filthy, who's the best at sieve. I know. He makes me look like a straight

pastor. I'm being a hater, actually. The first sieve that I played was on Switch and I started playing and I'm like, this game is hard. Sieve 5 is hard. I mean, I've never even been in the top 5% of any game I've played ever.

That's funny. That's one of the things i've played ever no that's funny that's one of the things that i regularly deal with is the fact that okay like what does my channel do it gives educational content on gaming how where do you where are you okay with being an expert from are you okay with being top five top 100 top a thousand top one percent where do you feel like i struggle with this like game wise every time i switch games it's like when do i start producing guy videos because i want the credential and the authenticity like the ability to be like hey i'm speaking from authority here like i'm good at this shit and i want to be able to tell you and teach you this shit versus like ah i just opened this game up

i'm going to tell you how to play it you know like yeah well i think i think the best angle for that and i mean you obviously would potentially know better but i think the best angle for that, and I mean, you obviously would potentially know better, but I think the best thing is like the best attitude, or at least the one I always have is like, let's learn this together. Let's learn that together. What's the best strategy for this or that? Let's figure it out right now. Because then you're kind of setting it up that like you're in the process of figuring it out.

So it might not be the best. It might not be the best it might not be true it might change down the line but you're like your audience is there doing it with you at least the one thing that i i can resonate with you is that like i play a ton of battlefield 5 yeah i'm like i'll be playing battlefield 5 and then people will come to the like you're always playing this game you're always playing this game you're always playing this game and then something new comes out and i start playing that and even the viewership might be up and now comes like when you come back to battlefield when you come back to battlefield and all my head i'm just thinking i swear if that's the same

motherfucker that is if he is both of these people and i worry sometimes that they are the same guy being like why are you always playing this why aren't you playing that thing like i just i feel like they could be the same person they often are i think yeah really so i i mean like uh my my thing is whenever i put a game on a new game is i always at least want to seem interesting entertaining and somewhat knowledgeable definitely not a master like as you were claiming but like definitely knowledgeable my angle is always just like i wonder if this this build of a character works. Well, let's find out together. And that's just like you're setting it up to be like learning through failure kind of. Because when you're teaching, you don't have to actually be able to do it.

You just got to be able to teach it. Dude, if I ever start a Twitch stream, I'm so fucking shit at WASD. Didn't even know what it was called for a second i had to look at my keyboard i'm so shit at was d and games like i would have to just solely get by on hopefully saying funny shit while i was playing because i'm i'm just not good enough at video games to do that dude like 35 percent 35 percent of my streaming good at that 35 percent of my streaming 35% of my streaming career is like Are you the guy from Bacon or are you from

Video game high school Yeah that's me No stop asking me about that fucking Homo That Jew That Bacon Jew Yeah that's me Did you just call me a Jew

What we're talking about ties back to a thing I mentioned earlier. Remember David Chappelle and his sort of crowd control thing where he did the impression of his audience and got them to react the way – Do people call him David Chappelle? I've never heard it before, but yeah. Okay. We know who he's talking about. I think he's Dave.

I think he's Dave. I call him Big D. The way that he did it and the way that Steve Hofstadter set up the crowd to get the reaction is a talent I always wish I had on YouTube or Twitch or what have you. Like, what are we doing? Why is Taylor winking? No, I thought that I held the pen up and I thought that was like a smart thing to do. Like, I don't know.

Okay. Anyway, so I'm listening to Harley's's method of saying like hey i don't put myself out there as an expert that's what the unexceptional gamer tag was too and then filthy's thing is like hey i do put myself out there as authority but that's what works for me um but it's you've got a crowd control issue where you're like hey how do i stem off this criticism and crowd control is interesting topic to me to elaborate like you know like this is this is a you think about this strategically right okay like i'm a i'm a small to medium streamer right that's that's my like that's my size how big is your stream it fucking fluctuates

i mean i'm playing yeah well that's this game this game is a game that has a much bigger ceiling for me the game i'm playing right now and i'm hitting between like three and like six with this okay previously i was playing a game with a much smaller ceiling in terms of number of viewers and hitting between eight and a thousand right okay concurrence these are average concurrence right that's okay right so this is a much smaller this is a much smaller a lot of fucking losers watching some guy play fib that's for sure absolutely okay and they're all probably homosexual i don't know that for a fact but i hope that so homosexual or not you know they suck a meme dick that's right i'm talking about but only gay people watch i'm talking about gandhi with the nuke in five turns apart in this right like what do you

do to set yourself apart in this so you're like you're like okay so you're like oh i'm learning this you know well your tits you know well sure but i can only do so much with tits and there's twitch terms of service but like you know if i'm going to set myself apart from this you know who else is learning the games they're playing every single human being who's playing the game they're playing right like if you look at like setting yourself apart how does that set you apart so one of the ways you set yourself apart is by being the top point point you know whatever tiny percentage of players in that and that is a way to reliably pull viewers into a game is because you are the best of the best in that game now okay there's so like taylor taylor you know you're saying like i don't know what i do i wouldn't be the best of the best your personality would carry you in some degree

they're personality streamers and certainly as a variety streamer one of the things i want is people to come to me for my personality they do you know but like i'm never going to be i'm not a top tier entertaining personality i can be funny at times and i like to be funny at times i like to shoot the shit and whatnot but i'm never going to be like the one percent of the fucking ninja is he a personality i don't know much about ninja i know he's huge but i don't know what the fuck brings people to his first of all his hair is blue he's got it all right i think people enjoy his personality and he used to be a pro gamer i think he's just real dope in video games yeah i actually never watched a second of an industry might tell you i've never watched a

twitch stream get out never uh only if i used to do that i used to be that until 2014 i thought it was irresponsible of me to have never watched the twitch stream so in 2014 i started watching and i was like this is dumb for like three weeks and then by the fourth week i was like waking up to like my favorite streamers being like is now online and that would be my alarm and i'd get up and like put on fucking i'm a cutie. And hear this guy mumble and playing League of Legends while I'm getting dressed. I don't even play that game. God, I think this guy's an adorable creature regardless. And he's mumbling on the phone.

And I'm getting ready. And then I'll come to my computer and I'll put it on there. And now he's mumbling here playing League of Legends. Once again, I don't play the game. And I don't know why I'm mesmerized by him, but he's on and I'll go through my day. I'm just different. If I watch somebody, whether it's a YouTube video,

somebody playing a video game, or I assume the same would happen with a Twitch stream, within 10, 15 minutes tops, it just makes me want to play that game really bad. I'll turn it off and then go play that game. Then inevitably, I get frustrated that i'm not nearly a tenth as good as the person i was just watching and then i quit i'm really different portion of my viewers play the game while watching me i see someone playing the game

and i'm like huh this is as entertaining as playing but even less effort than playing video games like it i can be... You don't watch? Like, I'm too lazy to play myself, but I can watch you do it. I thought long and hard, why would this ever exist? Why would this even exist? And, like, the truth is,

you're 14 years old, and you can get something. You can get an Xbox. You can get a PlayStation. You can get a Switch. You can get a computer. You're going to choose an iPhone first. And if you have the iPhone,

now are you going to get an Xbox or a PlayStation or a computer? You make a choice. It's so rare that you'll be in high school and you'll have a PlayStation and an Xbox or a computer and an Xbox and a PlayStation and a Nintendo for sure. That is so rare. But maybe all your friends have playstation it just turns out you can be part of that conversation in this day and age because your friends all beat god of war or they all played it but that's fine because you watched

you know your favorite streamer beat it beginning to end so when it comes to lunchtime yeah you have xbox you're there and you can still have that god of war conversation you were there every step of the way so at least i know that those people exist and i've noticed that like on facebook like i've been getting a lot more like i've been doing strictly single player games which is just rare to an extent and i've just been getting a lot of females and i've been getting a lot hey they want to drink my cum from a cup um no that's a lie but like they'll uh they they'll come in and like i think it's just someone playing a game that they find interesting at at their own pace and like my thing is like to what you were saying is like uh i don't think like i'm definitely not the best my my thing is i'm very good at remembering who comes to the stream and interacting with the

chat non-stop so it's like you could backseat game with me because i'm not a master you don't spoil the story but you could tell me where we're going next or what the best thing to do is here i'll try it out i'll play with viewers all that and i've noticed that i've been getting a lot of on facebook like more and more females watching the stream and And that was ever since I went to single-player games. Nice. Yeah, I think that just in personal around-me experience, as far as women I know and girls I know who play games, they do tend to go more towards single-player.

They don't like the online competition as much, like the ruthless, Hey, you're a faggot and i'm gonna kill you and i hate you and like that kind of shit they they steer away from it more the other side of it is like oh you're a girl you can suck my dick you oh you're a girl i'm gonna dm you a picture of my pubescent cock. Yeah. That boy exists. That boy exists so many times. Sweetie girl, 62. Yeah, but you know what? That kid's got balls.

And, you know, as Wayne Gritsky said, you miss 100% of the shots that you don't take. And he was the best hockey player ever. He did say that, didn't he? That stupid motherfucker. You know, now all these kids are fucking using that to rationalize sending pictures of their cock and i'm just not a fan no way not a single bit it's a bit like jordan peterson so your canadian accent must be pretty good because it does actually sound canadian he is a canadian i know i know isn't he yeah yeah he's from ontario

canada my shit ass accents and you're from ontario and you don't even have a i'm actually Canadian. I know. Yeah. He's from Ontario, Canada. My shit-ass accents. You're from Ontario and you don't even have a Canadian accent. I'm actually from Quebec. Ontario is they'll be like banana. And where I'm from, it's short A's.

So I'll be like banana. Random. So random the way I speak. My random random pants let's go dancing in your random pants that's just montreal that's different ontario is like long a's it's random random dance pants do you like uh do you like that show trailer park boys or is it to ontario for you no that's not ontario that's even further east is that saskatchewan or what the fuck is it no that's that's west no it's like yeah it's. Is that Saskatchewan or what the fuck is it? No, that's west. I thought it was like New Brunswick and stuff.

I love trailer park plays. Have you ever seen Letterkenny? Yeah, I've watched Letterkenny. Kyle got us into Letterkenny. Yeah, that's a good one. Kyle has seen every television show. First of all, Kyle has seen every tv show and every movie and he is a great resource for referencing for that he doesn't always give you good advice but he can always give you advice on a topic about that you're like i want to know about you pick some bizarre like totally niche like location of fucking like television he'll have six suggestions for you

it's like a media-based photographic memory too if i could just use the term right he would be able to quote any movie anything he's seen to play out scenarios scenes from it yeah i mean definitely i miss stuff i'm usually not and he's only getting better in prison eight hours a day this is the problem you send a guy to prison then he comes back a super criminal but in his his case, it's media consumption. A super predator. No, but isn't it kind of funny right now that for the long – I don't know about Woody. I think I kind of know about Woody because we've talked about this in private enough,

just like me, Woody, and Kyle. But it can't be said. I don't know where we're going on this. I always thought in my head, I was like, there is 0% chance Kyle actually goes to prison. He's not going to prison. He's a rich guy. He's going to be fine.

This is going to blow over. And now we're three weeks into Kyle being in prison. He's in jail. Every minute we've been here, he's been in jail. Like every second. To be fair. And when we go to bed tonight. He could have left at any point.

It's true. It's true. He really could have. Yeah. He's got a poster. He's got a poster hung up with a hole behind it. And the guard comes by every day. And they're like, there's not a hole behind that poster

but i'm not gonna check and breach your trust at this prison he could literally walk away i wonder if that's true well i know he can't he can go he can go he could be like he could be like guys i gotta go to the store real quick just holding my spot in the cell okay how how many years now has he been getting fucked over by this like how long has this gone on for him because that's almost three right yeah so this is what he's actually holding up against this is do i just do this fucking two months come out do my two years of probation and be done with this shit because like god damn like this has been such a clusterfuck for his life in terms of impact yeah of the impact on his life i feel like the prison sentence is the

smallest part three years of anxiety must have been brutal to go through because he had much longer term hanging over his head oh yeah right it's been up to 30 years and then after the two months in minimum pre-minimum security whatever you call it uh he has two years of probation where he's walking on eggshells and maybe for the rest of his life or maybe we have this hope that they like legalize marijuana and retroactively take it you know the felony off but he's a felon so no more voting no more gun ownership which was more important to him than an average person and a lot and that if he ever wanted to go back to fpsS Russia stuff, he can't

now. This has denied him for having the ability to access these firearms, right? Yeah. At least in the firearms, he could become a streamer. I can do a Russian accent as good as Kyle. If he hired me, he just instructed me and taught me how to shoot.

Hell yeah. Oh, and then the monetary thing. His attorneys were very expensive. I think it... I'm not even going to estimate because I don't know that he's made it widely known. But it was a lot. Yeah, it was a lot. And, you know, so that was a big subtraction.

So the anxiety, the probation, the financial costs, the post-probation penalties penalties the two months is yeah but you want to know why he's not walking out of there it's exactly that yeah because the fucking repercussions of dealing with that shit again so far outweigh the cost of being bored eight hours a day or 24 hours a day for two months i watch these prison youtube channels and uh dude i get so into them it's ridiculous i know a lot prison culture. If any of you guys need a consultant, if your buddy's getting his... Kyle. If his buddies are getting his cheeks spread and you need to get a wig split or run something up on in them, I'm your guy.

I know it all. Oh, shit. Kyle better have gone to prison with a face tattoo. The ones and twos. I told him to join the Aryan Brotherhood immediately. He was like, bro, I'm already in it. Everyone on PKA is an honorary member. He didn't know, but you got in.

It was all a bit accident. But these are level three and four prisons. They're bigger deals. And so the guy, he's out. His buddy got caught with marijuana in the ashtray of his car. And he's back in for five years. Because when you're a repeat violator, they don't fuck around. That's like another thing Kyle has hanging over him.

So. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, eventually they're going to follow up. This is really just a lot of pressure. Yes. On that fucking pot barie you're going to cook him. It's got to be really good. It needs to be worth it, Harley.

That's right. It's got to be a not fucking around pot brownie. I don't know. An epic pot brownie. Let's fucking do it. There's a lot of pressure. You can do that in Canada. Canada's so silly,

THC is legal and CBD isn't. Really? That is backwards. Why is that? We like to mess around a little bit in our country. I love Canada. Sorry, so anyway, I didn't mean to derail. It's a top two country.

A top two country? Yeah, a top two. If I couldn't live in the US, I would need to do a round. It's a top two country. A top two country? Yeah, a top two. Wow. If I couldn't live in the U.S., I would want to live in Canada. If I were in England, my feelings would be hurt. But I don't know where I'd want to live. I wouldn't want to live in Toronto. Yeah, they thought they were the cat's pajamas.

Not anymore. They thought they were the bee's fucking knees. Would you rather be the bee's knees or the cat's pajamas? Oh, probably the cat's pajamas. It's more syllables and it's funnier. Yeah the cat's pajamas? Oh, probably the cat's pajamas. It's more syllables and it's funnier. Yeah, cat's pajamas. Fuck the bees knees.

I don't know. I'm a big bees knees fan. My father used to say that. My father used to say that? He did. When he was at the doo-wop and going down to the soda jerk? He's like, Woody, I want me to pick you up a licorice whip. He would tell me I was the bee's knees as a child. Dude, if you ever want to raise me to rise.

You're like, Woody, you're the bee's knees. And he'd be like, that fucking kid is not the bee's knees. He's the cat's pajamas. He's the cat's pajamas, all right. Honey, just between you and I, he's not bee's knees at all. He's not the bee's knees. That kid, that's cat's pajamas. Picture your dad as like a northeastern Italian guy.

Like, nah, he's not the cat's pajamas, so to speak. But don't ruin his spirit. There's still chance for it. He's talking with his hands all loud. Are there any post rolls? Oh, we've got one from our good friends over at White Castle. Good news, everyone. White Castle sliders are available at the grocery.

Made with 100% beef patties steamed on a bed of grilled onions, they have the same one-of-a-kind taste. White Castle has been serving in their restaurants for years. Pick up some sliders from the grocery store and make it a slider night. Go to whitecastle.com slash pka to get a dollar off the purchase of any four or six pack White Castle sliders. That's whitecastle.com

slash pka for a dollar off. Hey, at the very least, click on these URLs. We appreciate it. And check out Filthy and Harley and where can everybody find your shit? Filthyrobot.tv Check it out. New website. Lots of cool stuff. I finally, Woody, I don't know if you remember this And Harley, and where can everybody find your shit? FilthyRobot.tv. Check it out.

New website. Lots of cool stuff. I finally – Woody, I don't know if you remember this. Years ago, you're like – I came in with a white t-shirt. It said Filthy's White T-shirt. And you're like, you should get that on merchandise. I have that on merchandise now. Many, many years later, but there it is.

You're not getting any money, Woody. You're not getting any of that money. Harley, you always think I'm so money hungry, but I think you're projecting, Harley. I just know, as a Jew, I know when someone's out there sniffing up some cash. I see it on their face. I'm telling you right now, Woody, you're not getting that money. That's not your money, Woody. You can't. Is the beard making you misread my expression?

No, Harley's got a nose. I know you're sniffing out that cash. I know you're sniffing out that cash. Don't you have enough of Wings' money that you've taken from him? Hey, that was for a surgery. And you spend it on what? Hookers and cocaine. Yeah, your dog. Your dog getting the best dog food

available in town we do get on someone else's dime anyways that's a weird bitch going somewhere my wife's like the dog i like bringing up the wings thing because i have the muscles glasses thing all the time people always like where's muscles glass i'm like bro eight years ago i told the story about what happened eight years ago um let's relitigate it i'll take muscle side you dick okay um i uh yeah check out i'd say youtube.com slash epic meal time you want to be there history is being made right now it was the number one cooking show in the world. A billion views, and now you could be there for the final episode. Still the number one cooking show to have ever existed. Yeah, in my heart, for sure.

Fuck Rosanna. No, I'm kidding. Yeah, at the end of the day, you want to be there when history is being made. Yeah, fuck his dick. Gordon Ramsay's meals, they're like normal sized. Yeah, he's a fucking respectable ass dude. I'd love to meet him in real life, right? Fuck him.

But I don't know that he can cook giant pot brownies like you're gonna. He's definitely good if he wants to, for sure. It'd be very easy for him. He may not have giant food experience like you guys do. No, but I definitely think he could do anything I've ever done. Dude, Gordon Ramsay is only fucking good at cooking. I want to yell at him while he tries to change a tire in his own condescending accent what do you where do you

think the iron goes you fucking retard where do you fucking think it goes no this isn't a croissant you fucking idiot 100 you could definitely change a tire why are you so impressed with like what do you know that's a good gordon ramsay impression by the way oh they're all so good i wish i could do any oh follow me on instagram at harley plays because now if there's no epic meal time i gotta move some fucking skinny t or some shit like that so follow me on tiktok i'll follow your tiktok what's TikTok? Is it also HarleyPlays? It's HarleyPlays. There's one TikTok there. Back when it was Musical.ly.

No, no. Well, previously you said Instagram. So I didn't know how consistent your branding was. Well, I'm going to lock you in HarleyPlays on Mixer. Lock it in. Lock it in. I hate when people do that. TikTok it in, bro.

All right. PKA 454.