Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #463

Episode Date: November 8, 2019

In this week's PKA, we're lucky enough to have our old friend former OpTic H3CZ, now just H3CZ from NRG! He breaks down for the guys what happened with OpTic and his move the new NRG organization, as well as what's happening with Call of Duty esports going the franchise route with sanctioned city teams, then the guys show off and go over their dope ass Halloween costumes for this spoooooky episode & kick back and share some funny stories that came out of the various Chicago paintball trips!

PKA462 with our guest Hex. Before I throw it to Kyle, quick note, the audio on PKN was fouled up, so we're going to do a double long episode next week, make it up to you guys. Kyle? A couple of sponsors tonight. Squarespace, Blue Chew, Harry's Razors,

and Morgan & Morgan. We'll talk about them later on in the show, of course. But yeah, let's get right into it. The spooky episode of PKN already. She has hooked us up with a very fancy overlay here. It's very Halloweened out. I want to talk about these costumes.

We've got a Mexican banana who showed up randomly. Hilarious. It's been known that Hex didn't know we were dressing up. He showed up, saw us and goes, oh, I wish I knew you got... Wait. He sprinted away and came back with a banana sombrero hat, and so.

I did. Big ups to Hex. We have Taylor. Kyle, you're obviously Pennywise. I, well, hang on. Let me get this mask off, because it is just so hot. I like it. I knew it, Pennywise.

Wait, are you the Joker? Oh, no, the Joker. Yeah. Did you really think he was Pennywise oh no the Joker did you really think he was Pennywise or was that a gag oh no I'm not that retarded make me a bicycle clown why do I have boobs I don't know I don't know

the Joker you look great did you do that face painting yourself I did I'm proud of you. I like the cigarette. Oh, and on the cool new lighter. That's pretty... Kyle, I'm really impressed. I like it.

Yeah, I really like that. You did really great. Next week, Kyle's going to be like, you know, I don't think I got my fill of The Joker. I'm going to smoke on the show again. Taylor, you're a don't-know man? I am the riddler who i did not know was such a traditionally thin character because this this is the this is really tight tight in all of the the wrong places but it's you know all of the 75 i spent on this get up went into this

cane i could i could wrap somebody on the head with this and actually do a little bit of damage. The rest of this, absolute trash. The cummerbund I'm wearing, I already had to tape together. We can't see it. Stand up? No, because my dick is totally visible in the left pant leg of

this very too small lower body. I don't believe you. YouTube censors would. So we need to to abide by that and then woody is i went dark airman i did super boy so i had that here is my concern ever see those jerks who show up at a costume party with the this is my costume shirt and it's just too low effort if you go into an area where costumes are appropriate, wear a costume. So, this is what I'm going for

in my costume. You guys see it in the chat. And this is what I look like. I'm glad he didn't go low effort. Did you buy those pants from a specialty store I cut them from Amazon you know buying clothes online is very tricky I dyed my hair I did everything I could so that this wasn't like

the this is my costume t-shirt but this is what Superboy looks like you know how long this took you yellowed your teeth oh wait i did the right click the right thing i if this is your costume that that is the best i thought i i think i did all right you did it's excellent this used to be scumpy's uh get up from last last uh last year he left it here at the at the studio so i i just saw it like two days ago and I'm like ah I ran back there and grabbed it

got the nice little banana Chiquito banana Bigito banana I was disappointed when pre-show I asked Woody and Kyle so what power does the Riddler's staff hold and they're like it's just

kind of a cane I think I've seen him bang that staff on the ground and escape in a puff of smoke several times oh i think real canes do that if you want to buy them right you want a puff of smoke cane i was hoping like you could tap somebody and they're just befuddled by whatever you just asked them but if you probably hit them with a kick. That is pretty cool, actually. But yeah, most of Batman's nemesises, nemesi?

Nemeses. Okay. They're pretty weak shit, too, just like Batman. Nemeses. Well, anyway, everybody looks good. Thank you. And Kyle, I love the commitment with the hair. Thank you. It looks great. The only thing that would make it better is if it were a little longer.

I have hair extensions. I didn't have time to put them in. My wife dyed my hair. It's like a spray can, like a Halloween can. Wait, so what color is your hair usually? It's just a little. Dude, I get it. It's like one notch darker.

But Superboy's hair is this color. It's black. Mine's brown. Wait, so you weren't making a joke. This is really a costume. I actually dyed my hair for this color it's black mine's brown wait so you you weren't making a joke this is really a cut i actually dyed my hair yeah for this i put more effort into it just so it would be higher effort that's that was like the idea behind it i i once went into work when i was in the mortgage industry i once went into work at a costume party with girls just like plastered all over me

i was a chick magnet i like it but my wife dyed my hair and she was digging it. She's like, this is cool. We should do this tomorrow morning is what her line was. She wants you to have that soy sauce hair but won't let you have a cool ass beard? Superboy doesn't have a beard. I shaved an hour ago. You can't wear a beard? No, that's like the meme on the joke. But it is true that my wife doesn't like it, but I don't have a beard. I shaved an hour ago. You can't wear a beard? No, that's like the meme on the joke.

But it is true that my wife doesn't like it, but I don't like it either. After it gets to a length, it gets itchy. And even before it gets itchy, I can't lay on my belly because it gets like, I don't know. I get like a rash on my chin if I put it on a pillow or something. All you got to do is fight through that critical mass where it's long enough and you'd be fine. And then I'd look 55 too. You guys always push for the beard and then the audience

pushes for the beard and it's like fucking beard. I don't want to have a beard. I knew what it looked like like an hour ago I had a beard. But Superboy does not have a great beard. Can somebody screenshot what's going on right now and then superimpose something and then tweet him at me, please?

I want to see what he looks like with it. Don't move. Don't move. Don't move. No, look straight into the camera. There you go. All right, tweet that at me. I want to know what he looks like with a beard.

Give me all kinds of beards. It's distinguished. Kyle, I noticed your the mouth is very wide and are you also laughing different this show I don't know how well that's going to age three hours in

yeah yeah so anyway I am I'm very excited I'm not taking this off yeah so anyway you're enjoying that mask I am I'm very excited I'm not taking this off this is staying on the UPS man was terrified

he knocked on the door and I ripped it open I knew he was about to ring the doorbell with my hair extensions and I was like hi did you answer it like that hello no i literally went hi and and he was not amused at all he was a fuck oh that's gonna go on your permanent your permanent record so i see you got the whole thing you have the suit you have a

vest you have a a silk shirt and an under shirt is black. You couldn't even find a V-colored one. A V-colored neck. A V-neck thing. The Joker isn't concerned with minor things like matching. Oh, actually, I missed a button. Doggy, your costume, Kyle, your costume is like 100. And he's like, ah, was there extra credit available? It's really, it's the yellow vest underneath that's completing it for me.

You got the pants too? Are they purple? How much was that, Kyle? I assume you found a Joker costume you could buy. How much was it? $75, $80 for the suit. And then

$25 or $30 for the makeup. And then some hair. Dude, I would have priced it higher. It looks really good. I would have too. Yeah. How much did you find, how much did you, did you pay one of those YouTube makeup artists to do that for you? Did Jeffree Star put that on you?

No, no, I definitely did it myself. It was, it was actually pretty fun. I enjoyed putting it myself. It was actually pretty fun. I enjoyed putting it on. It was a lot of fun. I would like to know how long it's going to take you to take it off once it's taken off. Everybody complains about that. I figure I'd get in the shower with a big soapy rag and just go to town and it's gone.

It'll be fine. In the movie, it doesn't take much time at all. Yeah, it just comes right off. If you haven't seen it, please don't ruin it. Very good movie. now he knows the makeup doesn't take long to remove taylor i hope you're proud of yourself you look god damn it now i probably won't watch it i know the duration of makeup removal fuck yeah yeah um taylor and i loved it um woody thought it was a little one note for him um but um but it's uh it's it's it's really good i think um you know it's it's... Once you watch it, you're like...

You know, because comic book villains and heroes and all that shit, when you think about it, it's like, this is so unrealistic. This would never happen. Nobody would ever dress as a bat and fight fucking crime. But with the Joker, you're like,

you know, if all of that stuff happened to a person like that, he might become the Joker. He has such a horrible time throughout the movie. Yeah. I won't give anything away. I'm going to go tomorrow morning. I'm going to wake up early for a show.

There's a theater. I can walk to it. Three-minute walk, and I'll be there. So I'm going. Part of my motivation for seeing... What's more Joker than spoiling the movie? Part of my motivation... It turns out at more Joker than spoiling the movie? Part of my motivation... It turns out at the end, it was all a dream. How dumb would that be? I hate those movies.

I hate those movies. There are people who think that that is the case with the Joker movie, that it's all a dream. I know. And those people are called... I don't want to use that word. That's a bad word. They're called brothers.

Oh, Jesus. That's not the word i thought you were thinking of i was like he's a little shy for the r word but okay kyle's gonna be in full joker mode i'm gonna say it so hex um um i'm maybe you know maybe you don't know but i've been i was in prison for two months um recently so i was a little bit out of the out of touch with what was going on with you but what what what has what has transpired my friend because i hear there's like last time i was on here yeah man like like what's going on with what went on with optic and what went on with you know everything business wise and with you personally like like i i know that you've went on um some

other some other shows and you've talked about in some videos with people yeah but to be fair you were very vague and i feel like maybe you're being polite is there an nda that's keeping you so vague or i really like that you have blue like on top of your and below your eyes. This is exactly how the Joker looks in the movie, by the way. Spoilers, Kyle. Is it really? Anyway, so a lot. A lot has happened.

I don't remember when the last time I was that I came on here. By the time that I came on here, I'd already made up my mind that I was going to be leaving that which is me in a sense. And it was it's you know, it was a sad time for me. You know, you couldn't see it. OK, but it was I was hurting inside, you know. Yeah. I want to say when you were last on.

There was something at Optic that you didn't detail that made you unhappy. And you were trying to get back on board and right the ship. That's where we left off. Yeah, and I was. Let's get into details. What made you so unhappy? What ship were you writing when you were on the show last? Absolutely everything.

I was trying to take over everything again. I didn't want to be on the bench that I put myself in for that year and a half. I literally thought that I was going to be out there and it was going to be awesome. I thought that being a civilian of sorts was going to be great. I thought I was going to be able to sort of enjoy the fruits of my labor and, you know, go down that route. But very quickly, like very quickly, I realized that, you know, I still needed to at least have one hand on the wheel and sort of helping people get to the, you know, to the promised land in a sense. Is that, are you talking about now or then? Because that sounds now-ish to me. Okay, then. then okay okay yeah i'm i'm no longer with the with with optic right uh and and i choose to call it the company now so it so i can you know sort of roger that

you know distance yourself from yeah distance like uh it's like anything else right like even even even uh this past weekend when we're doing the Old Men of Optic stream, we called it the Old Men of Uumu or the Old Men of Redacted. It wasn't like this thing because it's such a big part of my life. It changed my life forever. You're de-branding them, Hex. Because Optic has a built-in fan base. You're de-branding them, right?

Explain that. So like if I were to buy Optic, a built-in fan base. You're de-branding them, right? Explain that. So if I were to buy Optic, hypothetically, let's say I was the guy that bought Optic back in the day, what I'm really buying is the fan base you built. It's the green wall. It's the players on that team, et cetera. Then I'm hoping that it goes on to even bigger and better things under my ownership.

That would be my thought process if I was to buy it. And then if you walked away and said, you know what, I'm not calling it. And then if you walked away and said, you know what, I'm not calling it Optic anymore. It's just the company. It's the redacted. Then you're kind of instructing your fans not to be Optic fans. Maybe?

Not necessarily. I'm trying to disassociate myself from that. I'm now with Energy. I'm an owner in uh in a new team in a team called energy um beneath it sits the chicago call of duty uh franchise and also the san francisco shock um we could have done the san francisco call of duty team but i felt uh that you know for my story would have been better to go to chicago the other thing that i wanted to make sure of is the fact that you know this is the internet so for us to sort of associate ourselves with just one city just

because uh it's not something i was willing to do so this i think sort of sends the the message that yeah although we're called chicago whatever um because we're the brand gets released tomorrow when does this video go up saturday saturday saturday okay you sure well let me let me lay it out in detail. It will go up for very few people. It'll get a few thousand views between now and Saturday. And then Saturday it goes live. Okay.

Patreon. But when you say now, what do you mean now? As soon as we wrap, I'll kick off the upload and make the MP3. Sorry, Kyle. And people who pay either $5 or $ dollars a month i need to see get to see it early and then saturday it goes live okay cool all right uh then i'll hold off because okay we're we're announcing the team tomorrow that better not be a fruit fly um it took me 10 seconds to get that joke

uh anyway so um we're announcing the new brand tomorrow the the new name of uh of uh of the chicago franchise which is i'm super excited about because when i came out to optic that logo had already sort of existed and then diesel turned it into the o and the g that you know today within like a month of me joining um and and you know, I never really had a chance to build or sort of have any input in a logo. The logo was just, this is what it is. And if you think about it, back in the day, how many true artists, true digital artists

did any of us know when this was like beginning? Like nobody, right? It was just a simple graphic, nothing. Nowadays, you have access to like a a an immense amount of of just talent everywhere the guy that designed our uh our chicago franchise logo is uh sueda jared mirabel sueda i don't know if you guys are familiar with him um he's been around for a very long time uh he's super talented and i reached out to him uh and he just put together something like instantly and i was just like immediately in love with it because that's exactly what my vision was i'm like this is what i want this

is how i want it to look and and magic happened where it is cool oh let's clear something up now that you explained to me how you don't say optic as much anymore i see it through that lens like i i just saw it wrong before i i get it now if you round around still calling yourself optic that would be like another kind of mistake I might like make as the next owner. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, I'm not trying to, I mean, look, the Green Wall.

I get it. I've been very lucky enough, and we have been lucky enough to have the Green Wall follow us everywhere we go. And they've made their allegiance very, very clear, you know, in saying that they're a fan of the personalities in the brand and not necessarily the brand itself um and that that to me is like the most heartwarming thing

ever it inspires me on the daily because i you know it is it is true right like uh it's just an object out there a a something that people got behind but the people that got behind that is the people that they were fine uh they got behind the the personalities that people got behind but the people that got behind that is the people that they were fine they got behind the the personalities that people became fans of um you know and and that to me is like super super cool because not that i had any doubts that they would that they would follow me wherever i went because i've done nothing i mean i've tried to do nothing but right by them this entire time every story that i tell everything that we do is like all for entertainment purposes and for them to be entertained. I think that we've done a really, really

good job at that and it shows because we killed it. You moved on from Optic. Do you have a new team? The new team's name isn't announced. Is the roster known? No, it's Energy. What was it? Is it the logo? What did you not... Energy sits at the top. It's Energy

and then beneath it it owns two brands uh the overwatch brand and the call of duty brand so they need to be new brands because of franchises these are the rules that they've put forth and by them i mean activision blizzard uh that they've done that if you look at league of legends and their franchise they didn't force teams to just completely change their names to start a brand new thing that is going to be co-shared by the by the league and the team um my my new business partner is andy miller super cool dude part owner of the uh of the sacramento kings and he says that it's exactly like the nba sort of they mirrored what the nba um sort of model is so energy Energy is a team, and within that team falls Fortnite, Gears of

War, I mean, you name it, right? Rocket League, Apex, that's a team. And then Overwatch is another team, and then Call of Duty is another team. So I'm a part of three teams, as the New World Order part of three teams. And this wasn't the last one, right?

When Infinite acquired OpTic, we also had the Houston Outlaws. So that was also my team i have a question about the city thing so you hit me you probably don't know this there was a time in a very different world when keemstar and i tossed around the idea of starting something that competed with mlg and um maybe the centerpiece of the idea and it was his was that there would be cities. The thought process was people say- Yeah, he had the New York whatever. Remember that?

Yeah, I think his was going to be New York. Yeah. I don't recall- And he sent Dog Sensor Martin to an MLG event wearing a construction vest. You don't remember that? We might have sort of parted ways by then. Our little ambition didn't last long as a partnership. parted ways by then our little uh ambition didn't last long as a partnership but um uh his thought process was right now someone who's maybe a cod player doesn't have an idea of where to start who

do they root for is it optic is it phase is it energy is it somebody else in instinct that's like a halo but um yeah where do they begin so he's hey, we'll give these guys New York, these guys Chicago. You can have Raleigh or what have you. And then people will have a starter team to root for just like they do in – what am I saying? Football, basketball, like I'm trying to – existing sports. Traditional sports, yeah. Sure, okay. And what do you think? Do you think the city name is limiting or brilliant?

Limiting. Okay. A thousand percent you're sort of like you know and i say that very biasly obviously optic was a global brand that anywhere we went whether it's france or london or no matter where we went we had a massive massive you know sort of chunk of the pie of the fan base that was there everybody that showed up was wearing green everywhere half the people were optic fans and half were everything else yes a little bit more okay my bad i know how big it is because i've never watched an e-sports thing in my life

and i knew what optic was like and it was the only one if they're like a phase i guess now i do but if they're like uh oh would you say what intensity or something i said instinct but that's actually a halo yeah it's like a a biking program at your local gym what is that whenever whenever i think whenever somebody mentions phase i can't think of anything except for um tommy from phase and when he came and did that um that medal of honor thing at my house and he was he was really struggling with the sniper rifle like like and and and like between cuts you know the cameras would turn off and he would he was i won't say he was crying but he was very upset yeah no he was like my whole thing is sniping it's what i do you almost got killed in that do you remember

like for real killed yeah there was this massive piece of plywood yellow come on that was bro no it was you can see it on the you can see it it like it was a shard of it's not a shard it was a piece of plywood this big ragged edges everywhere and it was like on camera like that long and it went by so fast near his it would have decapitated him was there an explosion is it what do you say oh right it'd be a real final destination way to die yeah it was yeah it was it was messed up but yeah to this day that's the funnest two weeks of all of my gaming career that was so much the one week that yeah it was a week at my place and then you guys did a week in la yeah they wanted me to come do the

thing in la but i had something else going on i was filming somewhere else and uh and they weren't gonna pay me enough to go to fucking la and do that nonsense that was that was so much fun i really enjoyed it sorry i couldn't be in that thing no No, I'm sure it's getting hot. Oh, I am so itchy. Oh, look. That's the energy logo. There it is. It reminds me of the Wu-Tang Forever logo, so I'm a big fan.

I saw energy in print. I did some research. I sort of caught up with you last night watching different podcasts, and I never thought of the energy to be energy. I didn't say it out loud. I just thought the three letters and not the enthusiasm energy.

Yeah, it's Harper's and Marble. So, if you were to put yourself in the shoes of whatever, whoever gets fifth place at an event, do you think the city thing becomes a better idea or not so good? What do you mean? I'm trying to say, well, you're optic, right? So you look at it through the lens of the top team

and say, man, cities are limiting. Would it be a bonus to a non-top team? Look, I don't think that the city-based thing is – I mean, I say that, but you look at the Overwatch League and how successful that's been. Having the ability to sort of congregate at a bar and have a watch party where you are all rooting for the same team is super dope. And it works to a certain level but when you sort of concentrate your entire effort and your entire strategy around building a fan base you're only doing it locally so you do all these local activations where you put you know posters and and radio buys and all this other different stuff where you're putting on the radio no kid that plays video games

listens to the radio right period uh so you know number one um two you never you want to be able to sell to everybody in the world you want you don't want to limit yourself or segregate yourself from from the world like what do you tell what do you tell people that have followed uh you know my my story and my team story uh scumpy and formal and, you know, all these people. What do you tell them when you're from, let's say, Massachusetts, and they're like, well, they are now, you know, Chicago. You know, are they supposed to pick

between their two cities? And I say, eh, it's tough. It's tough. It's tough to pick between your favorite entity and a city just because you live there in my opinion all right so if you i hope i can ask this well looking at the moves you made right from i'm gonna start it at 2009 to now yeah you made a lot of good decisions a lot of things went right for you what would all of them went right for me yeah right you know like people don't know like everyone started from nothing but heck started from more nothing so um what would you do

differently where would you i would have i wouldn't have taken the year off. Okay. Wait, hold on. Kyle wants to say something. Hex made me interrupt Woody. Don't get me. No, no, no. I'm happy. Well, even the score by one closer.

I have. So you're talking about regrets. How are you feeling about the Optic Gaming tattoo that you have? Oh, it's a part of me. I'm Optic have oh no it's it's a part of me i'm i'm i'm optic till you know it's it's it's a part of me and it's gonna take more getting used to being a part of a different team than it is to get uh sort of unused to being in optics that's a lifelong thing for me you know there's there's this period in optic where optic will always be optic and there's a new thing which is just like this thing. It doesn't have the soul that we sort of put into it.

So I wear my stuff proudly. I mean, I won't wear the chain anymore, but my tattoo, it'll be there forever. It changed my life for the better. It made me sort of who I am now. And I would not trade that for the world trade you know i would never and it's a good fucking logo like like somebody recently got a pka tattoo and that person is awesome yeah what a cool guy and who got it it's not one of us a viewer got it okay okay we're not in it for that kind of a long haul god but one of the fans got a pka tattoo

and and and it looks fine and whatever we've got a decent logo we really do the the optic gaming thing i've always thought is one of the whoever maybe you said that earlier you did mention something about that diesel did that huh yeah but if you think about it right if you think about it's just a this is just two words that we made popular by putting it everywhere brainwashing sort of the font and the the colors you know that to me is as recognizable as like coca-cola you know i see i see that og offset the way it is and those colors and i'm like like, I know what that is. You know, when I see it,

it's, it's an excellent branding. It's excellent. It's excellent branding. I like, would it have been though, if we didn't make YouTube videos, would it have been that if no,

no, that's my favorite thing about branding, right? If you think about some of the biggest, like FedEx, right? They stopped calling themselves federal express. FedEx means something different.

It means those white trucks with the blue sides, et cetera. Coca-Cola doesn't mean anything. No one cares about the ingredients of it pepsi i think means even less these people created brands i'll say cnanners cnanners doesn't mean a thing until cnanners tells you what cnanners is all about optic gaming maybe if you stretch it it started with the sniper rifle optic but it's turned into the green wall so yeah it started with the sniper rifle optic, but it's turned into the green wall. It definitely started with the sniper thing, right? Like everybody fucking around in lobbies and stuff.

Yes, it did. What am I looking at? Well, for me, it started with the Kar98, but this is what put me on the map, the M40A03 or A3. Oh, that's cool as shit. You got it on your hand there. I did. Me and Tommy. Do you have one you should have one me and me and uh me and uh tommy temper who we were just talking about were in miami at the

same time for a tournament and he's like yo i'm gonna get the intervention tattoo right here and i'm like yo no bull and i swear to god no bullshit i had been telling uh hitch that i was going to get the the sniper rifle and i like the way he looks with watches. Have you ever had a veteran be like, man, I remember when the M40A3 saved me in Vietnam.

I was on high rise. They were coming at me from the left, from the right. They were coming at me from the left. Yeah, it was the intervention then. So I had to resort to no scope. You should get one in real life. It would

cost you about, like that stock, the M40A3 stock is about a grand. It's about a thousand just for the stock. The rifle that sits in it is only about 700. And then depending on what scope you want, you're looking at 400 to $1,000 more but you you'd have a legit m40 a3 and then I want to put the bipod on it

Just like in the game and then you get that if this building allowed for you know weapons to be in here I would have one mounted above my thing A friend of mine Rob Turkla also known as long Chris TV, he does fishing videos. He's an army decorated sniper, a literal American hero. When I showed it to him, he's like, you couldn't have picked a better rifle? That's true.

It's an excellent rifle. Have we ever talked about when we met and I didn't have a YouTube channel yet? You probably don't even remember. I don't. I met you online, this is. I played in a game with you and it was probably 2008 i am different world back then hutch had a channel and i was a fan of hutch and uh he wanted i think he needed an hd monitor so that he could start recording in hd and he asked his fans if they could give like one1 or $3

or something like that. And enough people, he's like, I'm not even trying to make money on this. I just want to make better videos. He was passionate about it, et cetera. And I said, I'll give you $20, but I really want you to play with me. And he said that that was too much

and that he didn't want to like, felt bad about that. Times change. Yeah, so it was like, in my head, I'm like, well, you can't stop me. So I'm like, here's $20. You can play with me or not. That's on you. Nice little passive aggressive. Straight to the jugular.

I don't think I phrased it quite that badly. But that was it. It was like, hey, here's $20. I would just love to play with you. And we played privates all night long. You had a different set of rule sets. Is it Pro Mod? Is that a thing?

Yeah. Yeah. And I got wrecked. It was me and a bunch of optic people. But I enjoyed it and I got every penny's worth. And I remember, help me with the COD format. There's a statue in the middle. The callout might be Skybox.

Yeah. You were standing on the wall on strike with a sniper rifle, practically daring whoever was left to come at you. And as soon as a pixel moved, you quick-scoped him and won the match. And I was like, that guy. God damn. It's nasty. That's who you were when I first met you.

Yeah. I think I still am. I just got to play more often i'm not do you play the new call of duty or yeah i've been playing it yeah i i think uh we played more i've played more call of duty this in the last week than i have in the entirety of last year uh we we literally went 13 hours a day for like four days straight and then today we just added three more it's a fun game it's a fun snd game so i'm i'm i'm with it a lot of changes that i would that i would apply to it but it's it's a fun game something about the movement doesn't feel great to me um i do like sliding

that i feel like that's one of the best things they ever added to cod you know if i feel like call duty 4 if that had sliding that would have been so cool there's a lot of things that cod 4 could have used. But I really like that as a movement thing. But something about this new Call of Duty, I feel like I can't get back behind cover before I'm melted. And I've been watching Shroud play a lot, and you see how fast he melts people.

He's been playing this 2v2 sort of tournament style with other really high-end players. And God damn damn does it look like csgo the the they're killing each other so fast just in just melting people it's uh it's crazy it's interesting for sure i i'm gonna be more of a spectator this time around than a than a participant i'm not good at it at all um i'm pretty fucking good at PUBG, I like to think, but fuck, I am not good at this god. Yeah, you die quick. You die quick.

Hex, it seems like, okay, if you go back to like 2011 or 12, the best players from last year were not the best players of this year. It seems like that's changed. Like top players are four or five years in and stay the best almost all four or five of those years. Do you agree? Am I right? Sort of. I think the top 15 are always going to be the top 15 no matter what situation you put them in. It's the combination of players that really throws that little extra randomness into it.

Like right now, Dallas Empire, that's the Envy team, I think they're winning every single tournament. They're obviously putting the most time onto the game, so obviously they're going to be good, but they have massively talented players on that team. Obviously, they now have Crim6, an incredible leader. They have Clayster, an incredible leader. So you

put the talent behind there with Hook and I believe Shotzi and Nilly, I think. And you just got a combination of players. We'll see. We'll see, though. We will see. I don't know how it's going to pan out.

You never know until the first tournament happens. But it's going to happen. I think there's 22 matches in the year. It's every other week that you have to travel places. At some point, we have to be in travel places uh at some point we have to be in france at some point we have to be in london uh and then we're just doing this like crazy circuit uh back and forth so it's it's out there so you just had kind things to say about proofy crimstick and crimsix and clayster do you have any ex players who you're like fuck that guy

oh my god that toxic asshole don't let the door hit you where the good lords play you no no that's and it's weird to say no not a single player even though parasite was on your team oh y'all look parasite the guy's name was Parasite? Even him. Go ahead. Sorry. So even him, I don't dislike him. At the time, I did have so many... Still to this day, I think that he just joined just so he can get the Jews. It worked for a bit.

Did he get the Jews? He did. Jesus. What did he do get the Jews. It worked for a bit. Did he get the Jews? He did. What did he do with the men? Optic Holocaust. Yeah, they did that. He did that. But no, the majority of the decisions are made by the players.

They're the ones that pick and choose who they play with, who they drop, and who they bash. So the majority of the time has been sort of that. That relationship gets tarnished, not they drop, and who that. So the majority of the time has been a sort of that, that that relationship gets tarnished, not mine and them. I see. I got another question.

So I was watching a podcast. I think it was you and Hitch talking, Optic Hitch. People know Optic Hitch is the, he's like the guy that makes a lot of the media. He's Hutch's little brother. He helps Optic be popular by creating their online presence. Okay. So he was like, people don't know how toxic Optic was, how bad things were before Proofy joined.

What was going on? Because I didn't know. I thought things were fine. So he's talking about the Optic house. And at the time, it got to a point where everything, like people just stayed in the rooms and they didn't want to be in collaborative videos and they were just sick of you know not being able to do nothing uh like go out i don't know i don't know what i personally have always been like get the fuck out of here what do you mean you're you feel bored you know look at this mansion that you live in you know like look

at the house that that i have provided i'm kidding look at this um how can how can how can like you know this bother you there's there's there's real jobs out there because that's not what brings happiness right like what if you spend all your time in the dark playing games with no like uh good personal relationships you know they just had competitive personal relationships yeah um like even though you have money even though outside that door of yours is a beautiful home that doesn't bring happiness that's well to me it would okay um uh maybe just you know different eras that we grew up in and different sort of lifestyles that we did. But there was just a whole bunch of stuff. People didn't, I don't know.

It was a little bit toxic. People didn't want to participate. Some people thought that they were doing more than the other. And it wasn't really as toxic as everybody hated each other. It was more of like everybody didn't want to do anything. And then Proofy, when Proofy came in, and Proofy has come and gone. It's been years since he's been a part of the squad, but love the kid dearly. He came

in and obviously brought some good vibes to the house, and it was a fresh face, and it would have been awesome. Who did he replace, Proofy? No one. No, he was just a content creator that moved into the house. Oh. Yeah.

Proofy's a pro gamer, right am i crazy no not anymore but i swear we went to dinner with proofie and yeah light-skinned black guy very good shot that was like 12 years ago i didn't know when proof i didn't know when this thing happened that i was talking about yeah yeah no i yeah yeah so that's what he was talking about something that happened three years ago. Roger that. You know, like four years after Proofy retired. My mistake. Yeah, yeah. Something like that. No, no, no. It's, for me, it's so vivid.

But, you know, for someone like you who has been in the industry and knows about it, but doesn't pay attention, you know, like I didn't know that Kyle was in prison for two months. For what? Oh, lots of great stories. Can we ask? We're not in jail. That's only, you're not allowed to ask what you're in for if you're in, right? Child pornography. No. That's not, don't let that go anywhere. Yeah, you're not allowed to ask what you're in for if you're in, right? Child pornography.

No. Don't let that go anywhere. Yeah, that's not true. Kyle. I promise I won't. I won't promote this for sure. I want to clear the air immediately, Kyle. Do you want to say it or should I?

Why are you so afraid of child pornography? All right. That's a very Joker thing to like. Some American need to work. Hex, he went in for marijuana possession and he also shared it with a lady friend now and then

which I guess makes it extra bad. Yes, that's called distribution. If I said distribution, people would think you meant selling it and that's not what it was yeah wait so you can get it i mean not that i do but you can get in trouble for giving people and sharing your marijuana with oh yeah if you know you know if you pass it to the to the left hand side as they say um you uh you have distributed your marijuana to another individual are you still in uh do people know where you're from,

the state that you're from? Yeah, Georgia. Okay. So, so you're still in Georgia, Georgia. I don't get it. Well, look, whatever. I'm sure they're going to, uh, it was federal charges. Um, I beat the, at first the state of Georgia, uh, came after me and I beat that case because there was a, they wrote a bad warrant, but, um, because of the firearms that were registered registered at my household the federal government didn't require a warrant to then go into my household and so that then they picked up the case yeah i did uh 56 days in a federal uh prison camp in talladega alabama it was a very interesting uh situation um we we've talked about it at length on the show but you know it was i'm gonna have to go back and listen because i i do i don't want you to repeat yourself because your fans obviously listen but that's insane that in this day and age marijuana is still that outlawed and it fucking baffles me every single day that people like talks politicians alike vote for bernie

sanders somebody has to because i'm not allowed you know what kyle i didn't even plan on voting but y'all just vote for bernie bernie bernie's currently leading in the uh the the new hampshire where they're where the yeah it's bernie warren uh and then um biden uh you know one two and three so does that mean shit though because he's from it doesn't mean a turn he's from it that mean shit though? Because he's from Vermont. It doesn't mean a ton because he's from Vermont obviously. But it's going to be helpful for getting they keep misquoting him and they won't

they'll attribute his quotes to somebody else and stuff. So at least they have to be like Sanders is leading the poll. We'll just skip over that. And in second, third, and fourth is Warren Biden and Buttigieg. Oh, they literally do that shit. They posted, they're like, Pete Buttigieg is in fourth, but it's a strong fourth.

I'm okay with that one. And then there was a couple of weeks ago where during the debate, Bernie was saying something popular like, and i'm going to make sure that everyone who needs health care is taken care of no matter what and they took his quote and like five different media outlets attributed all of that to warren and we're like warren made big waves when she said and it was like bernie said that like it's just funny to watch from the outside that they really do fucking hate Bernie. This must be what

the Bernie bros were feeling in 2016. He does get fucking hosed. Even if you don't like him, you can recognize that. It's too much. Well, he's promised to legalize marijuana and expunge records on day one. That's enough to get my vote. That's a single issue non-voter. In Chicago, starting January. Well, that's enough to get my vote. That's a single-issue non-voter.

In Chicago, starting January 1st, it's legal, and dispensaries are being given preferential treatment if they have an ex-convict, an ex-marijuana convict that's part of their ownership group, or they give them an extra like an extra 25 off of the fees and whatever so like i i like if there was ever a state that needed to do that it's illinois like fuck illinois the the entire state is so whack they're about to raise it another two percent my my my agent is about to move from there because they're about to raise the taxes again another two

percent yeah how many former Illinois governors and Chicago mayors are literally in jail right now? You left out the senator. It's crazy. It started with a B. The guy who sent his dick to someone. That sounds like the New York

senator. He might have been House of Rep. Anyway, you're thinking of Wiener, which is a great name for a guy that sends dick. I'm talking about like boogaladadia or something who literally was selling for cash obama's seat which he didn't have anymore because he won the presidency old boogaladadia no i know you're talking about and i don't remember his name thank you i fell alone for a second there yeah if i don't know it and I don't remember his name. Thank you. I felt alone for a second there. Yeah. If I don't know it and I was from that state, you shouldn't feel bad.

I do this thing where sometimes I just get close to help someone else. Yeah, they're going to remove that from your records ASAP. My thing is there should be some reparations for you being out of the workplace for two months. Well, they took my guns, too. So they really owe me some reparations. Yeah. Did they really? Because really owe me some reparations. Yeah. Did they really? Because of the dollars in reparations. All of them? Yeah, yeah. Do you want to say how much

they were worth? About $350,000. And unlike the Joker, Kyle wouldn't have stacked that money up and burned it. He'd be like, I'm just trying to send a message as you're pouring the kerosene you're about to light you're like now everybody leave the room

for about 40 minutes message is compound interest get the fuck out of here he told us to leave and we come back and this is just a big pile of newspapers well I'm sorry to hear that man that's fucked up what's even more fucked up is that

You know people that know you Didn't you know raise up arms And start talking shit to the government Can't believe PKA Didn't step up There's not much you could do Kyle would you have liked it if we had harassed your prosecutor I mean

I'm not sure That helps you No his answer is a resounding no no no what a lovely lady she is she needs to be left alone yeah no like no joke ruin another life kamala harris style i kyle it's it's not in your best interest for that to happen Meek Mill one? Is that who you're talking about? I'm not talking about any fucking Yeah no he made a reference to Kamala Harris who was a prosecutor before she was a presidential candidate

Yeah she would like put people in jail for truancy and shit like not showing up to school Yeah it was a real interesting situation I don't care what are you going to do? I like having an interesting life. I know a lot of people with fucking boring lives that haven't been raided by the federal government a couple times

and hung under helicopters over interstate highways at a thousand feet. But Kyle, of the three of us, you're the one who went through the struggle that could transform you into the Joker. I'm as close to being the Joker as anyone I know. A normal fellow might have snapped by now, but not me. I'm just a real peace-loving kind of guy. Just real chilled out and just no issues here. I like how quickly you're ripping through cigs. With that hair and that face.

No issues here, he says. Right? Yeah. With that hair and that face. No issues here, he said. Right? Yeah, it's, you know, it's really one of those, what the fuck are you going to do type situations, you know? I think a lot of people dwell on stuff like that and just boo-hoo. And, you know, that's Wings, if I'm being honest. You know, Wings is always like, wah, this happened and that happened. And now I can never get over it. I just got to cry and be a big crybaby forever.

It's just like, stop being a little bitch. Stop being a little bitch. Do you guys still keep up with him? Is he still around, Wing? We watch. He's a live streamer. Yeah, he's playing Modern Warfare now. Not like this moment or anything,

but that's what he's up to these days. He's streaming COD, streaming Rainbow Six. I tried to watch him play last night he was on battlefield the hottest game out so he was the one it frustrates me so look i get it i've said it a million times he sells his mental health for money and and you know that's what streaming is for a guy like wings where people come online and just troll him and also forth wings part of his sense of self-worth is tied up into how good he is at games and if cod's not going his way then you can see why someone wired like that would switch to battlefield having said that what a terrible business decision and as a viewer who wanted to watch wings play cod i didn't get it and bummer well tough tough yeah to have an opinion on that but but i

agree you know if your bread and butter is something like why change it especially if you see that the change that you made isn't sort of dude it's three weeks cod is gonna be at its hottest for the next three weeks and then probably another bounce for christmas right let's call it that do people still watch call of duty for call of duty skill though they didn't when i played but i think i think now there's guys like shroud and and and uh and and that that's all i watch call of duty for to be honest like like if if i'm gonna watch call duty i want to see somebody absolutely fucking push buttholes in and it's in his shroud you know like at least he's the big the real popular one and he makes

good videos like he there's a video like yesterday it's like three nukes in 17 minutes and and it's it's him just destroying with a naked aka for just you know going 30 killaks. I don't know if he's Shroud-like, but to watch Sandy Ravage do it is interesting too because he's not trying hard. He's not paying attention. He's reading the chat. He's laughing the whole time.

It's not that he's not trying at all, but it's just like two-thirds effort for him melts people. And I'm just I'm not like that. That's nasty. Yeah. How do you think Shroud does on the Pro Tour?

Well, he did very, he had a good run in CSGO. What am I saying? I forgot that he was a pro. Yeah. Yeah. My bad. Okay. Well, they're going to have to up those prizes to a million a tournament to get to to lure him back though i thought of that too yeah he's on mixer now that you know mixer dropped eight digits yeah god knows what mixer paid that man to switch over and you know

i don't know how i'm sure it's some sort of contract you know like a like a fucking uh professional athlete would have you know all right you're here for three years. You stream twice a week minimum for a minimum of three hours of stream. It's something like that. Oh. And by the way, if you, whenever you, if you hit more than 200 K concurrent, uh, over the course of a week for X amount of time, there's some fucking formula built in where he's getting bonuses. I guarantee it, you know, not to mention all of the uh the the money he gets from like oh a new game just came out well we'd love we'd love it if you streamed a little bit of our rpg there's no way he was playing world of warcraft classic out of

passion i mean maybe i feel like a lot of people are playing that out of passion i have friends who have who okay i'm get into World of Warcraft, but they played the classic. When that came out, they're like, dude, are you getting this? I'm like, I didn't play it at the time. They're like, oh, I'm buying it for sure. I'm going to ruin my relationship with my girlfriend over this. I'm considering getting into WoW.

Pigbert, he's been playing a lot of WoW. He just hit level 60 or whatever it is, level 70 maybe, and he was trying to, he was saying he'd like to play with me. I'm considering getting into it because I'd like to play a game like that where, you know, it just eats your life away. That's fun. Did you ever play?

No, no, I've never played. It would, but, you know, I love RPGs and the idea of an MMORPG is, you know, it turns me on. I'm into that sort of thing, that sort of long, grindy progression and the idea of an MMORPG is, you know, it turns me on. I'm into that sort of thing. That sort of long grindy progression and the teamwork aspect of it and everybody working together. I'm into that sort of thing.

Yeah. I almost have sarcasm, but it's not, right? You like it. You look forward to it. Yeah. Maybe it's the clown thing, man. Maybe it's messing with me. You do look absurd. I love it. I think there's those random games

that you sort of fall in love with. Oh, yeah. The games like Fallout, Skyrim, Oblivion. I would play those games over and over and over. And sometimes I would have 70 hours in a save or in one character. And I hadn't even beat the main mission. I don't fucking care.

I don't need to kill all the dragons and become the Dragonborn. I just want to collect all the dragons and become the dragonborn. I just want to collect all the goddamn herbs and make a lot of potions and shit. I love wandering around in those virtual worlds for hours and hours of time. Marijuana helps, but I can still do that sort of thing sober.

You don't play Minecraft, Woody? I was thinking getting back to it. So I've been streaming a little bit lately. Let's do the fourth one, bro. The Joker smokes a lot in the movie. That ain't a spoiler either. Anyway, what makes a good game for me lately is that I can go in and out of attention.

Like COD, for example, would be a bad game for me because no one's watching me for gameplay. Worse than ever. But something like Minecraft where I can not lose track of the chat and interact the entire time would be a good fit so maybe soon yeah it's such a good game incredible game incorrect to this day it's like up like one of my favorite games ever we just uh last month we sort of went on this like three week or two week like marathon where everybody was playing it

and uh it started with me and Syndicate the month before, and then the following month, Jack Courage got into it. He'd never played it before. Fell in love with it, obviously. Hotch had never played it before. Moron, right? Because he could have been playing with Cnanners and been a super

millionaire. He's a communist. He doesn't want that money. I think that might be an update yes he understood well i'm sure i'm sure i mean i don't i don't know specifics but yeah i mean look at look at my man's uh captain sparkles he's you know to this day killing it well he had a server right captain sparkles i don't think so i want to always know he had a couple pros don't talk shit pros don't talk shit. Pros don't talk shit. No, I think what did it for him was all the song parodies that he used to do.

I'll play my arrows in the air tonight. Easy, Hex. You're going to get his copyright claim. You're pretty good. You're good. I'll put my arrows in the air. Sorry, I just did that. I need that.

What a funny feature. What else do you have on your board that you can make it sound like? It's a GoXLR. And, you know, you can pretty much turn the echo off. And then talk like a woman. Here. Talk like a woman? Talk like a woman?

Talk like a woman? I don't know. Well, here we go. Wait, where is it? Wrong. It's a guy that sucks at accents. This appeals. He's singing.

Can it make you Nigerian? Do you know how quickly our show would go to shit if we all got that? No, but listen to how funny this voice is. You got to use that sort of thing sparingly, right? Yeah. You don't know when and you got to pick your battles. Yeah.

I was wondering where you're going with that. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. I thought it was super fun. I got it. Every so often, I'll turn it on and talk shit on when I'm streaming, but I don't use

that as much as other people see using the second that they turn on their auto-tune and stuff. I like soundboards a lot. That's one of my favorite things on the Howard Stern show is when Fred uses the soundboard. Some of the best Howard Stern

moments are Fred fucking with people with the soundboard and Fred jumping in with the soundboard uh you know he there's some some of the best howard stern moments are fred fucking with people with the soundboard and fred jumping in with the soundboard it's like opportune moment moments and hitting a great punch line with that thing do you remember how fun it was in like 2003 or 2002 to hop on ebom's world and pull up the arnold schwarzenegger soundboard and do prank calls and that was before enough people understood what soundboards were you could get away with it it was me and my you know 13 year old friends pissing ourselves laughing over how funny it was to talk as the terminator and none of it made sense because the soundboard had like 18 total options and uh good times yeah excellent have

memories like that ar Arnold just came out the new Terminator is coming out so Arnold did one of those things I don't know what YouTube channel that's on but it's one of those things where actors talk about their best roles or whatever and they're like oh yeah Conan the Barbarian I did this this and that

it was really cool to see Arnold go through all of his roles I wish he had mentioned when he talked about Twins how much fucking money he made off that movie because that's his highest paid role ever. He took a percentage of the gross. The studio didn't want to make it so he and Danny DeVito and Reichman,

who's the director, all funded it themselves like 50% of it. And so they got a gigantic chunk of the gross, like 50% of the gross. And the movie made like $275 million. So they, Schwarzenegger made like 50, $60 million in like 1990 off of that movie.

It never happened, but was it you who told me there was going to be a sequel called triplets with? Yeah. I was about to ask if I was dreaming that or not because I don't remember. Yeah. It was those two same guys and then Eddie Murphy or something.

Yeah, the premise was going to be, and it still may be, because Eddie Murphy's making a comeback right now. The premise was going to be that they get to their father's funeral, Danny DeVito's character, Schwarzenegger's character, and Eddie Murphy shows up.

And they're like, who are you? And it turns out he's the third brother. And it was going to, I thought that would be hilarious. Eddie Murphy is making a comeback right now. He's getting back into stand-up. But what I'm most excited for is this Dolomite movie he's making. Yeah, it's on Netflix, right?

Yes. It's showing in some small artsy theaters right now. But then it's coming to Netflix very soon. And if anyone who has never seen it. Are you sure it's not there now? I'm not sure it's not there now but i'm pretty sure i thought it was november it was coming out so like in a few days maybe or a week or so is my name is yeah dolomite is my name i just saw it at uh i was in new york though

i don't know if that's uh yeah well it's there october 28th dolomite is my name september it's on netflix now yeah now September 7th it came out it says alright I'm really looking forward to checking that out later so here's the premise back in the 70s there was this comedian who was a bit like Red Fox or

who's the black Richard Pryor but even raunchier he was this guy from Arkansas this black guy obviously and he had really raunchier he was this guy from arkansas this black guy obviously and he had really raunchy comedy albums and he did stand up like way raunchier than anything that you you can imagine and his even the album covers is like always him like shirtless like surrounded by naked women like all over him and stuff and what he's called it's like all kinds of crazy stuff so he was pretty popular and he was making a good bit of money from selling the albums and doing a stand up.

And he had saved up about one hundred thousand dollars in 1970 something. And he thought, what I need is my own fucking movie. I should be in a movie, but nobody's going to make my movie. I have to make my movie. Nobody will even distribute my records. I'm having to self-distribute these things. He was punching his own fucking records and giving them out at comedy shows and then telling people to go buy them at record stores. You'd have to go behind the counter and request it like it was a porno mag because the cover was so explicit. It was in a brown bag. He makes this movie in Atlanta, Georgia at this abandoned hotel

and he hires all non-actors except for maybe one or two parts he has a writer who's barely ever written anything cameraman who don't know what they're doing the boom is often in the shot the um he has actual prostitutes for the prostitute parts actual strippers for the stripper part stuff like that and and he and at the time, like that Bruce Lee movie just had come out where they're on the island or whatever. And there's that black guy's doing a lot of Kung Fu and that was real popular.

And he was like, I'm gonna have some Kung Fu in my movie. And they're like, do you know Kung Fu? He's like, I learned quick. And so like, it's a very ridiculous movie, this Dolomite film that he made for about $120,000. It made $12 million when it came out. And so Eddie Murphy is making a movie about the guy making the movie. And it looks really funny.

It's not just Eddie Murphy. It's also, I think, Key from Key & Peele. And Wesley Snipes is in it. And the black guy from The office whose name is escaping me craig craig something or another robinson yeah yeah and it looks really fucking funny and uh and it looks like eddie murphy's like return to form maybe i'm looking forward to watching that so am i yeah yeah he's uh one of the good ones Yeah.

He's one of the good ones. The comedian. Yeah, yeah. Oh my god. Oh my god. We immediately go with it. Did I ever tell you about my Kung Fu training? I don't know if I mentioned that in the show. Let's talk about the time that you and Kyle

wrestled outside the Denny's there's been many times outside of many Denny's I'm 0-5 at the Denny's in Illinois no one remembers when Kyle and I wrestled outside of a Marriott 0-1 outside the Marriott in Illinois

undefeated outside of Illinois Marriott in Illinois. I'm defeated outside of Illinois Marriott. Good times. That's my entire fighting record. Yeah, we always had a great time on those trips. Yeah, it was a blast. I want to tell the story that involved marijuana and an Applebee's, but I'm trying to tell it without upsetting anyone. Let's forego that one. marijuana and an apple bees but i'm trying to like tell it without upsetting anyone go that way

let me let me tell that story in a way that i was a driver maybe was this a paintball event yeah i'm gonna tell that story in a way that doesn't incriminate anyone okay um except for myself um and white boy who wouldn't care. I found this. We were at paintball and Woody and I were walking around. I think I told Woody, I was like, I'd like to find some weed. I was like, I don't know how to get it though. I've never been here before.

We see this paintball referee. Long hair, down to his shoulders, big mustache. I think that was awesome. i walk up to him like hey man uh i don't want to offend you but you look like the kind of guy who'd know where some weed is and he goes hell yeah brother all right then so like it wasn't long before like a quarter ounce of white rhino was produced at the hotel and uh so me and White Boy are in the back of the van, and a gassy Mexican is driving that thing.

And me and White Boy are in the back, and I'm breaking the weed up on a copy of Modern Warfare 2. And as I break it up in little piles, White Boy's rolling up these J's like a fucking expert. Just like origami back there. Dude, so I wasn't in this car. That was a van, I think. I was driving a fucking expert. There's origami back there. Dude, so I wasn't in this car. I was driving. That was a van, I think.

I was driving a smaller car. And like the legend of white boys rolling made it to me. They're like, oh my God. All the windows were down. It's blowing everywhere. He's rolling. He doesn't lose a, I don't know, a seed. Like whatever you wouldn't want to lose.

Well, you don't want to smoke seeds. He lost the seeds, but nothing else. Okay, thank you, Kyle. He only let the seeds blow, but apparently he was like a savant at rolling these things. He might have done it a time or two before. And so every time he rolls one up, he passes it to me.

And then I light it, I spark it up, and I take a hit to get it going. Then I pass it forward. Because I'm... He and I are in the very back seat. There's like four rows of this van. I don't even know. It's one of those big-ass vans. Nobody can see how much I'm smoking.

I feel like I can take a couple extra hits before I pass it forward. We've got plenty. He rolled one-inch buds. I'm not passing for it's just a roach white boy rolls them small but okay it's free so so i'm every time he rolls one i'm going and then i pass it for it and and and so he's rolled like three or something like that and the van's full of people and the driver's not smoking, just to be clear. But we're passing them forward and I am getting rapidly way more high than I've ever been.

And I hadn't eaten since like lunchtime and it's dark. And I essentially blacked out. That's only ever happened to me one other time, but I essentially blacked out and forgot where I was. And, oh, I remember at the same time, it's, this is fun. It's such a stupid coincidence. But at the same time, gassy Mexican, the driver went the wrong way. He got lost. So he had to pull into a residence so that he could like do it like a J turn. And like, like, so he's like so he's he's literally pulling

up into the driveway of a home outside of chicago so that he can leave their driveway and head back toward where the applebee's restaurant is well i come to right about there while we're pulling up to a house in the dark and i'm like where are we where are we going right now where who whose house is where are we going in my head i've been kidnapped and they are taking me to an abandoned house that i've never been before and i don't know who all these people in this van are but white boy was like no no it's cool we're going to applebee's and we got a little lost. It's me and you. And look, there's, there's Taylor up there and,

and, and, and, and, and Gassy's driving and, and everybody else is in the car behind us. We're going to Applebee's to get some, some appetizers.

And I'm like, all right, all right. Anytime. He was a good too high tour guide. He was great. So we get out of the car at Applebee's and we start walking toward the door and I'm walking right next to Taylor and I'm taking these high steps I'm walking like like this oh this was so fucking funny his like knees were coming near the chest he was walking like he was

going through a swamp like and we're just on the sidewalk going into Applebee's as he's taking these enormously high steps just enormously high steps maybe eight feet coming into Applebee's as he's taking these enormously high steps, just enormously high steps, maybe eight feet coming into Applebee's. And I remember like walking next to Kyle, like we were friends at the time, but not as tight as we are now. And we were just walking next to each other and Kyle's walking like an

absolute lunatic. And I just looked over at him. He looks over at me and goes, this is the highest I've ever been. And just we continued our way in. And we got in there. And Kitty, we're all at this giant ass table on Applebee's. Kitty.

And we're all sitting there. And Kitty, being astute, quickly realizes ordering one by one is not an option for this table right now. It'll take forever. Like Kyle can't decide. Lots of people can't decide on what they want. And so Kitty just goes, I just two of every appetizer. And the waiter's like,

what? It's like, like for you or for, no, for the table, just two of every appetizer for the table. And that's what we did. And I think after that,

she ordered one more round of every round and we worked on it pretty good that was suctioned up like through a shop vac yeah immediately all of those of those uh poppers jalapeno poppers all those fucking mozzarella sticks and onion chicken wings the yeah the blooming onion or whatever their version of it is the waitress says uh what would you like to drink and i said two mountain dews and she says what would you like to drink? And I said, two Mountain Dews. And she says, what do you mean? And I was like, I want two glasses of Mountain Dew. She's like, I'll bring you a large. And I'm like, well, you're going to see.

Because I'm so thirsty. She comes back and she gives me this Mountain Dew and she hands me my Mountain Dew and she starts distributing everyone else's drinks. And right about the time she finishes handing everybody else their Dr. Peppers and shit shit i go um refill i have just sucked the whole fucking 20 ounce mountain dew down instantly because i was i had such dry mouth from smoking all that goddamn weed i wanted to and so after that she brought me fucking two and i was double fisting those

bitches and i don't know I remember being in that van as we were driving on the way there and being like, ah, this is how successful YouTubers behave. Impressionable young Taylor. Not the loser YouTubers. I gotta get by and go to Applebee's. I won't tell the other part of the story,

but someday maybe we will. Because some other shit happened that was fucking hilarious. I don't even know if I know this. I was in the other car. Who shit themselves? It happened at the restaurant, Woody. There was a thing that happened at the restaurant.

Was I involved? I'll write it in the chat. There was a whole thing. But that was a very fun night. God damn damn it's a shame we're not doing those trips anymore that was so much fun yes yeah and that other individual started crying i don't remember i saw tears all right i remember it we're not saying his name we can say it i genuinely remember but i'll tell you he was. Yeah, he didn't like the way that went down.

Oh, you have to go. Do you not have our chat open? No, I do. I see it. I just don't get it. Somebody else tweeted from somebody's account. Oh, no. It wasn't a tweet that he would like out there.

There was a flippity-floop, and that's the way it went. I was sitting at the end. It was me and White Boy and Kellylly white boy's uh longtime girlfriend now and uh and we were we were gone and and we were like getting like like the information of what had happened at the other end of the table with the drama like piece by piece and we were i was like i think they did this thing and now that other person over there, he's crying. And Kelly was like, he's crying like a bitch. And we're just laughing our asses off down there. We just had a real good time.

That was a wonderful night. I had a really good time. That was awesome. That was a great time. We smoked all that fucking weed up before we got there. We smoked a quarter of an ounce of weed on the drive to Applebee's. That was an interesting fucking night. I remember how much I enjoyed all of the Anitizers.

Me too. Me too. Yeah, it was just really fucking good. I remember how good those boneless buffalo honey wings were how good those potato skins were how upset i was when i it might have been white boy but we were both reaching for the last like jalapeno popper or something and of that serving i had noticed he had already had three or four it It only comes with about six. I had had no jalapeno poppers from that one. And so I reached towards it, and we did that kind of coy, like,

oh, you take it. No, you take it. And I was like, no, seriously, white boy? You take it. And he's like, well, okay, then. And he took it, and I did the no you, no you one too many times. So missed out on that popper. Yeah, yeah.

I feel more comfortable. Never miss out on that popper yeah yeah i feel more out on the poppers i feel comfortable telling telling the weed stories now that like i can't get in any more trouble than i already have um the the other the other hilarious weed story i went to um vegas one time and i hadn't smoked in like two or three months so i had like no tolerance and uh x jaws was in ve Vegas at the same time. Coincidentally, like I was there for SHOT Show, which is a big gun convention. X Jaws was just out there like he was just staying out there with like Little Wayne's cousin, whatever that rapper's name is. I can't I can't remember what it is. And and I sold your boy, perhaps.

No, I wasn't. OK, little twist or something like that. Okay. And white boy, excuse me, X-Draws comes up to my suite and he's got a backpack and he opens up the backpack and he's got an entire quart mason jar full of weed. And I'm like, how did you get that out here? He's like, I just went on Instagram and look for hashtag four 20. And then I just hit them all up. Anybody that had it, I just, I was like, Hey, yo, I want it. I want some, I want some. And he had like three ounces of weed, you know, like, like a lot of weed.

And, uh, and, and I was, he's like, you want it? You want to smoke one? I was like, I would love to smoke one. And so he rolls up a blunt and I'd never smoked a blunt before for Woody's benefit. A blunt is, um, it's a blunt is like a small cigar, uh, cigar. And the wrapper is also made of tobacco. And so what you do is you cut it down the middle with a razor blade. You get all the tobacco that's in it out. You refill it with marijuana, lick that bitch, roll it back up. So it sticks together. The ex is learning too. And then you have then you're getting a mixture of tobacco and marijuana at the same time. A lot of rappers smoke the

things. That guy got killed by Taylor did too, right? Mike Brown maybe? He stole the Swishers? Anyway. Yeah, that's what he was up to. Swisher, that's the kind of brand that people buy to cut open dump out all the tobacco and then make a blunt. We were smoking a swisher.

And so X jaws rolls this big fucking thing up and we start, we go, we go in my bath, the bathroom of the suite there next to the door. And he's got his, his laptop opened up and he's showing me what he's been up to when he's out there. And I think I've told this little tidbit of the story before,

but it's important to know just how stoned we are while this is happening. Like, like at 12, I'm streaming the whole, the whole no god that would that wouldn't have been good so we're he pulls out his laptop and starts showing videos of what his life is like now and he's hanging out with this look this rapper little twist and little twist is like i guess x draws is holding a video camera and little twist is taking him on like a cribs style tour of his penthouse suite at one of the major hotels out there like he's got like the penthouse of the rio or something like that some

some twelve thousand dollar a night fucking penthouse and he and he's smoking a blunt in the video and i know for a fact he's smoking the same weed that i'm smoking while i'm watching him smoking it because x jaws is providing it and i'm just oh that's fucking weed-ception all right let's see where this is going and he's like yo welcome to my suite instead of saying the n-word now we say brother brother and and you go a little bit farther into the suite and there's a cage and he pulls a cloth off the cage and there's a monkey in the cage and he goes yo brother this is my monkey and he blows the weed out of the monkey and the monkey goes and it's a fucking fucking jumping around in the cage and i was i was like he's got a monkey

in a penthouse here right now he's like yeah, yeah, he's got a monkey. Serious flex. Right. And we're, we're, we're touring this place and it's beautiful. It's like something out of a gangster movie or something like that. This huge sunken living room when, you know, the whole walls are glass and everything. You're seeing the whole strip and we go back to a bedroom and he goes, and he's like holding the doorknob, looking at the cameras, like you ready for this brother And he's holding the doorknob, looking at the cameras like, you ready for this, brother? Opens the door up.

This is my Lynx cat. He's got a Lynx. He's got a Lynx fucking pissing and shitting in a hotel suite in Vegas. And it's just over there. It's the one with the real tall, pointy ears. It's just like, ah. You can tell it's thinking like, did I kill Little Twist and make it to the door in time? Not today.

Not one, but two exotic animals. He had two exotic animals! And it was at this point where I start not feeling well. This is the second time I've ever blacked out in my life. Did you see Justin Bieber tapes at all? I didn't see anything. Did he have a monkey in a lynx?. Did you see Justin Bieber tapes at all? I didn't see anything. No,

I didn't. In the links. I did not see Justin Bieber's monkey. X Jaws and Justin Bieber were hanging out together. They were. They absolutely were. There was some video or, but I might be making some of that up.

None that I saw. None that I saw. But I mean, I know they were chilling together and, uh, you know, X Jaws was always telling me about like what it was like hanging out with Bieber and how he was kind of like a spoiled kind of,

you know, he'd, he'd be like real fucked up laying on the floor, and he'd just yell like, Sushi! Go get me sushi! And somebody would literally have to run out. Damn, what a life. That's awesome. You guys don't do that now? We do that. Watch this. It's Postmates.

Matt, I want Firehouse Subs. I'm kidding. I'mhouse subs i'm kidding i'm kidding i'm kidding italian so that's my people my camera guy right so i start not feeling really well at all and i i'm like i gotta go i gotta go sit down man i open the door of the bathroom and I take about two steps and I collapse face first onto the tile floor like whack and and and and everybody freaks out they're like ah are you okay are you okay and I'm just like I'm okay but I'm gonna lay here for a while don't take anything by that, but this floor is real cold and it feels real good right now. And I just want to rub my face on this floor.

And they're like, we're going to order you some food. I'm like, sounds good, but I'm going to keep rubbing my face on the floor. And I laid on that floor for a long, long time before I started feeling normal. What happens when you smoke too much?

I know what happens when you drink too much and you kind of get sick. You throw up oftentimes things spin too much. You have to smoke so much weed to actually have what I just described happen to you that it's, it's, it's not even financially viable for the, for the everyday man. Okay. Um, it takes a lot and it really usually requires edibles, which are, you know, a whole nother thing. Your liver's processing. Easy to OD. It's easy to take term. Yeah. I mean, it's pretty, that's what's the term I use. I'm like, yeah, I definitely overdosed on fucking edibles. I ended up vomiting, you know, I vomited from edibles before. And, um, but, but with, uh, with smoking, it's like, it's over in an hour anyway. Whereas what, like if you, if you drink too much alcohol it's like well here we go you know i'm gonna be drunk all fucking night long and there's not there's no

coming back from this that dmt i'm told is 15 minutes i get more perception of time and stuff but i feel like i can survive it's like some pretty yucky stuff for 15 minutes 15 minutes isn't that long yeah i don't think dmt really gives you bad experiences anyway one of the scariest videos that i ever saw was when you were getting choked out woody that was terrifying i've done that a couple times oh i got quite a laugh i was like oh my god bro i remember like type uh texting on nature I'm like yo check this shit out he's like yo that's scary as fuck and I'm like I know that's like some real some real shit yeah that's what happens yeah I've had that happen in training too uh it was Joe Lauzon's grappling coach at the time guy's name is Ricky and he's very good at grappling yeah I've done that I've

done that a couple times too. I don't think I've ever seized up like Woody has. I think they would have told me. It's not like I would have any fucking clue. Yeah. I felt like Joe squeezed too hard. I didn't feel like he had to squeeze that because I've been put out

before by friends and it takes longer to do a soft squeeze. But Joe was like yeah let's get this over with joe he's a professional his gym does does what my i like this about my gym they're rough and they were mean they call it asshole jitsu and joe does too and it like if you didn't put your elbow in my temple or something when you had the opportunity it's like what i'm not worthy of your a game you're going easy on me like that's asshole behavior joe's team just absolutely everything about it hurts it's all elbows and pressure points and ugly faces and um they train

in a impolite way yeah yeah he um he definitely squeezes real hard, and his arms are hard like fucking stone. It does not feel good to be choked out by Joe Lozon. Of course, it probably doesn't feel quite as bad as having your arm cranked behind your back and getting pounded in the face until the referee pulls him off of you, like what happened a couple weeks ago. That was fun to watch. I don't know if you caught that, Hex. I did, yeah. Yeah, it's good shit. Good shit. We love watching Joe beat people up. happened a couple weeks ago that was fun to watch i i don't know if you caught that hex i did yeah

yeah yeah it's good shit good shit we love watching joe beat people up same same same same his poor wife though i mean god damn oh i wasn't sitting waiting to beat his wife but i oh jesus i didn't get that at all that's what i thought you meant that's what i was like i wasn't i didn't get that i was like what i'll watch him beat. He didn't get any injuries at all. If I'm his wife, this is a great outcome. The consensual kind of beating. Like the sexual kind. Joe's going to kick our ass.

He doesn't know where I live unless he answers this riddle. No, I'm not giving him a riddle. He's smart and he'd figure it out and he'd beat me up. Let me do an advertisement here to tell everyone about Squarespace. This episode of PK is brought to you by our good friends over at Squarespace. From personal blogs and e-commerce destinations to marketing tools and analytics that'll help your business succeed,

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case you missed that you know make yourself a squarespace website and we'll feature it on the next episode it'll be really cool to show off what what you were able to create using uh using squarespace i'd like that that'd be a lot of fun i've always thought that would be a cool little way to integrate that uh that that sponsor so so nice i'm glad they're doing that and of course my favorite sponsorw. Let's talk about sex. Good sex, guys. Remember the days when you were always ready to go? Now you can increase your performance and get that extra confidence in bed.

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BlueChew is the better, cheaper, faster choice, and we thank them for sponsoring our delicious, delicious podcast this evening. You know, I go on and on about BlueChew all the time. I'm not going to do it tonight. I'm just going to say that, like, there are empty Blue Chew wrappers throughout my home for a reason. So you use them? All the time. All the time. If you haven't tried Blue Chew, you don't know the Super You.

No. Have you tried Blue Chew? Well, there's some fetish for it. Yes. I'm done with the ad read. That's all done. But yeah, we've all tried it. We're all big fans.

I'm done with the ad read. That's all done. We've all tried it. We're all big fans. Taylor and I are part of... I'm on the $80 a month package where they send me huge quantities of this stuff. I get like 30 pills a month or something like that. I think Taylor maybe is on a slightly

smaller regimen, but big fan. You're muted. Fuck, I'm a retard. I'm on the echelon right below kyle i you know he the amount that you get a month is frankly hilarious like i'm one of the smallest well i might have 30 sex partners this month 30 individual gals i I need my 30 pills. I need to be at my best every single time. I would probably need 30 pills too if I had 30 women a month. The faces the gals make you

with that mask on is the best. It's great. And I love how you yellowed your teeth. Just commitment to the game. I like it. How did you yellow your teeth? I bought some stuff at the Halloween store. I was hoping you'd say cigarettes.

I started smoking two packs a day two months ago. It's called method acting, Woody. Blue Chew. Yeah, man. Big fan of them. Use promo code PK. You literally pay five bucks shipping. I think they send you three pills, which is three, man. Big fan of them. Use Promo Cupique. You literally pay five bucks shipping.

I think they send you three pills, which is three different doses. This is three doses. You really just need one. Yeah. If you don't have, especially if you don't have any sort of dysfunction at all, and you're really just looking for a performance enhancing dose. And it's excellent. If you do it, Hex, I recommend you get, there's two different kinds.

There's the Viagra and there's the Cialis. And the chemical names are sildenafil, that's Viagra, and tadalafil, that is the Cialis. And I highly recommend the tadalafil, which is the Cialis generic, or it's actually just the chemical name for the drug. It's the way to go. I would often get headaches with Viagra in the past when I would take it, and real, real like strong light sensitivity and a little bit of nausea, a little bit of a hungover feeling. But with the Tadalafil, the Cialis, I'm getting none of that. And if you take, if you were to take it like right now, you know, at 9 PM at night,

you'd be good to go at 9 45. Like, but tomorrow night at 9 4545 you're still reaping the benefits of all that performance enhancement they call it 36 hours and I would say that the peak is in the middle somewhere so 45 minutes in you're getting some of the impact but tomorrow morning you're going to do handstand pee

yeah I don't understand that I can piss with a complete hard on I don't understand why other people can't you You just squeeze real hard. Yeah, then it's going to get all over the wall. You're aiming. I put a hand on the wall

and I lean all the way over. Oh, you don't think I tried that? I put my hand on the wall and I tried to aim my dick down enough, but it just wasn't going so that's why i peed in my shower the y'all will come into play the y'all is a role as the side last one and so you can tell that randy's corrected length yeah that's such a funny episode pro tip go outside

wait okay so just are you currently taking any medications for ED? No. Can you walk one mile on a flat surface in 20 minutes is the question. Yes. How long does it take you to climb two flights of stairs? I mean, if I'm trying or if I'm just, like, taking my time? I put two seconds. If I'm just walking. Well, riddle me this.

Five seconds. Who climbs two flights of stairs in five seconds just because? They do a little online health evaluation and then an actual doctor makes sure that you're fit. And if you are, they ship it. 30 seconds. And you have to tell the truth.

You have to tell the truth because the cyber police will come get you. You want to tell the truth. When it shows up at your house it's it's in a brown envelope like kyle said and it says custom medicine that's it who's to say what that custom medicine should be some flintstones chewables and make your cock card that's all that's about right and they taste pretty good they really do taste rock hard they taste like they taste a little bit like sweet tarts uh yeah yeah they're fine um i've chewed up like the prescription pill before it tastes like shit i think is you do not want to

chew up actual cialis to work that fast you chewed it yeah absolutely that's fucking gross because the one the blue chew is chewable it is chewable yeah oh but okay i get from the doctor ain't that's fucking gross. Because the blue chew is chewable. It is chewable. Yeah. Blue chew. But the kind you get from the doctor, that's a pill. I thought I read into your inflection that you didn't know that. No, no. I know you're supposed to chew the blue chews because they're called blue chews. Oh, you're talking to him. Yeah.

But chewing up the doctor prescribed one, it does not have that benefit. You have to be really motivated. I always am. I always am. I always am. I like it. Yeah, so check them out. I strongly believe in that sponsor. Big fan of them. During the X-Jaws

part, we talked about wild animals. Which wild animal would you want as a pet? The raccoon. The raccoon has little people hands. They're highly intelligent. They take tiny shits in case you have an accident in the house. They live for like 10 or 12 years. The raccoon has little people hands. They're highly intelligent. They take tiny shits in case you have an accident in the house. They live for like 10 or 12 years. The raccoon.

Why? Okay, okay. Fair point. A capuchin monkey, an organ grinder monkey. It's also small. It also has people hands. It has a prehensile tail, edge monkey, and it can do all sorts of fun things. You can train it to go get things for you.

A raccoon is not going to go do your deeds for you. Like if you say, I want a soda, that's not going to run and go get it. Yeah, your little deeds. You need a soda. You need a snack. You need this and that. That's what I want a little capuchin monkey for. As long as I'm not asking for something too heavy, that'll fuck you.

You know how long it took me to teach that monkey to jerk me off without peeling it first? Yeah. And see, there's no danger because capuchins are small enough that they're not going to fuck you. Well, I'm not going to teach it to beat me off. If anything, I would teach it to beat other people off

and make a little side profit. The possibilities of owning a capuchin monkey are endless, and I've said this many times. I would raccoon. You haven't convinced me. Those monkeys take monkey shits. What benefit does a raccoon have over a capuchin? It's still the same size. It's more about the negatives of the monkey.

All right, cost, for one thing. Monkeys ain't cheap, bro. Second thing, I'm not sure that it's even humane to keep a monkey they're so goddamn intelligent and the shits of a monkey that thing has to wear diapers for a reason it's because they don't just drop little deer pellets in your living room you're like oh look little bb's it takes a full-fledged mini human spraying on the wall shit and and it knows it's about to shit and yet it still sprays it because it's like this is my couch.

Okay, well I didn't know they sprayed shit. They spray shit. This could be anti-Capuchin propaganda. Here's a question that I ask all of my guests. If you can turn any animal in the animal kingdom into a 13 inch

pet, what animal would you pick my elephant that'd be cool no um a tiny giraffe would be cool that's what mine was actually funny back in the day there was this website called like tiny giraffe.com and it was just like when it was a silly joke um and and basically the idea was if you went to tiny giraffe.com or whatever it is mini giraffe.com i don't recall they had like a live camera feed of these insanely tiny giraffes living in their enclosure and it was a joke like i said these don't exist giraffes are enormous creatures yes i mean like little pocket giraffes and and and wings saw it and he believed in the mini giraffes he thought that they were little

bitty 12 inch giraffes out there and he was like that's fucking cool right they got little mini giraffes oh i'd like one of them little mini giraffes. Oh, I'd like one of them little mini giraffes. I envy that sort of knowledge about that sort of innocence. That childlike innocence. I know you guys remember this, but this was one of the most memorable things I've ever heard in my life when he made that woman orgasm by

not even touching her. Did he run his fingernails through her back or something? Yeah, he could make a woman nut by like, he had long fingernails and he scratched her back or like,

the scratch sounds violent. I think it was more of like a gentle sort of fingernail-based caress. Yeah, a glide. And he could make a girl nut that way or by kissing. Dude, could he make her nut by kissing? Maybe that was it.

Like a girl nut by kissing. Or by kissing. Could he make her nut by kissing? Maybe that was it. I remember that being claimed as well. Who did your animations? Those were amazingly glorious. That's all people doing it all on their own. It might have started with a B. Man, he's got so many of those.

We do this hangout thing once a month where if you're one of our $50 patrons, you know what Patreon is. Link down below. You get to hang out with the three of us here for four hours, one Saturday a month or Sunday or whatever day we end up coordinating. And we ended up watching a bunch of Wings of Redemption videos, like old PK clips and stuff and montages and stuff.

We had a good time. Wings is fascinating, man. Yeah. I agree. He's like a case study of the internet. He's a hilarious guy. I think we all are. We're like the first generation of that.

We're the first generation of YouTube sort of mini celebs that, that, that are happening. I mean, we've only been doing this for 10 years. You know, we haven't seen the true effects of what, what, what this is going to be in the future. The,

the success of each content creator kind of like leapfrogs that before. You're not a great example of that because you've had other businesses that kept them growing, but like, you know, it did to the concrete creation world. It's interesting to see where this goes, right? Like Shroud is pulling in Ninja,

five digit, no, I said it wrong. Eight digit, you know, contracts. I don't think nine digits, but I wouldn't think that was insane at Mixer. What happens after this? Is someone going to be a quarter billionaire off gaming oh for sure just a matter of time yeah absolutely these numbers are getting really big somebody out there in the world

of gaming who's worth a quarter bill at this point right yeah no no no i don't know but that's a lot like gamer like gamer pro gamer influencer that no okay no no way zero chance how much do you make it if you win a giant tournament like per person in a team oh that's not where that's not how these guys make money oh the sponsorships i guess where they're like hey not even this so the answer that necessarily the biggest i think is a million and they split that four ways so that's a quarter million each. Unless it's Dota. Dota got up to 26 million. What?

It's the pool. The people who are making the most money. Sometimes it's kind of surprising. Shane Dawson is about to make $5 million this week. He came out with a cosmetic line. Yeah, the makeup. Bro, it's insane how good he is at making videos he's a a a real g you know he's legit sold out great palettes and

palettes of it sold out what does he do i've never watched the shane dawson videos dude you gotta go watch his conspiracy stuff go watch his cocky cheese stuff yeah if you if you look at everything and he's old school like old school old yeah like one of the original like top 10 guys you know from way from 10 years ago like yeah like maker studio old yeah i've heard i remember him being big eight years ago like not as big but yeah but 23 million subs good for this millions of dollars he's making this week just from selling cosmetics but you know it depends the people you know some of those people who own certain websites you know that may have had to do with call of duty um gambling or maybe csgo skins or something like that you know it could have easily probably i may or may not know a couple

guys that made several million dollars aiece doing that sort of thing. But guys like Shroud who has this money machine, which is a fucking camera. There's no overhead. No overhead whatsoever. His fucking Postmates is his overhead. As long as he can stay sitting in that that chair he's churning money in yeah and there's and there's so many uh revenue avenues you know for you've got the sponsored content where a video game company says hey we want you to stream our game then you got sponsored products

where like oh yeah i use this mouse they pay me i use that keyboard they pay me then they then you have his own line of shit whether it's merchandise or his personalized like mouse pads or his t-shirts or whatever and then you have like donations you can't forget about like the hundreds of thousands of dollars of just donations that have poured in over the years maybe millions and then you have the virtual subscribe the subscribers the virtual goods is a big one to me like people pay for online stickers or maybe like a shroud camo or something yeah so like like you mentioned with the camera like he did that there's no expenses in the virtual goods he has pubg so he has he's had camos for like every game um you know he had fortnite camos um and they have a really cool way of like um fortnite camo shroud uhins like, like fortnight skins, like,

like where you like put in. Yeah. I'm pretty sure you like, you like, you like, if you put in his code, you can download another, his own skin in the game.

Yeah, exactly. You put in his like code or whatever. And, and he's getting a chunk of that. But with pub G, like I've got shroud skins and pub G and I don't pay for any fucking thing like that. I mean,

you know, I've got a shroud AK and a shroud car 98. I think I paid $5 for two skins. He's insane. Yeah. When I play that game and you know i've got a shroud ak and a shroud car 98 i think i paid five dollars for two skins he's insane yeah when i play that game and you know i'm just out in the world with 100 other random motherfuckers i see those skins every fucking where like 50 of the population that plays that game the that which you know has what which goes somewhere between 300 000 and 1.5 million over the over the course of the last couple years has that shit and and he's getting a chunk of money from every one of those things he's probably getting 250 out of the

five dollars then there's twitch subscribers right you know and he's a premium content creator and so he's getting a bigger chunk of that than everybody else now he's on mixer god knows what what his deal is there so there's so many revenue streams for a guy like that he's got a postmates code you know just everything everything i wonder what size check the digital stuff so really quickly the digital stuff for example is massive the international 2019 price pool uh which is a dota was uh 33.4 million buckaroos. Okay. First place got 14.7 million.

Second got 4.2. Third, 2.9. 1.9 for fourth. Fifth, seventh. Fifth, seventh, ninth, 13th, and 17th. 1.1, 800, 645, 484, and 80,000. But I'm more into shooters, so Dota's not that big. I don't even know what Dota stands for. It's insane but I don't think there's somebody out there that's worth a quarter of a billy

I don't think there's out there someone worth more than 75 I would definitely agree with that there may be some YouTubers, I don't know what PewDieP pie has been bringing in over the over the over the years it's it's pretty pretty nutty it's gotta be insane um and uh you know some of these i don't know sometimes it's some of the people maker though right like sometimes it's some of the he kills the makeup he's got a net worth of 30 according to uh wealthy gorilla.com some of these makeup girls like like like what uh taylor was just saying um you know they're just making it coming and going uh you know in so many different ways like that's

i feel like that monetizes much better than say meme review or playing minecraft yeah yeah and obviously he's been through his fair share of of uh of scandals right um and but but he's still i mean if you think about if you look at he's got 100 million subs bro i mean you know if anyone has seen their fair share of of nice cpm did your cpms ever get messed up there fps russia um not while i was still making videos now no right no and you were probably on that were you on the five dollar machinima CPM? I had my own situation with them that was kind of unique. Oh, nice. The highest I got was

$5 CPM for my top 5 Kill Cams series. So I murdered it. Murdered it. They were always cool to me. Now we know who really took the Machinima money. The guy who earned it. It wasn't Junkyard at all.

Oh, God, I love that. I love shitting on Junkyard. Just throwing more shade at Junkyard. All Envy-based, though, right? Not Envy. I'd rather have my life than his. I don't know if Envy is the right word. Just anger-based.

Angry that he had something you wanted. Angry that he had something that he didn't deserve. Who was Junkyard? I don't remember. You don't remember Junkyard? I remember the name. Junkyard was an old-school machinima guy, and he was around before machinima blew up.

Machinima blew up with COD Commentaries before they were doing machinima, which is when you take a Halo character and make it talk and do bullshit. And Junkyard was like an OG there and so when cod commentary came out and all of us started like you know blowing up and getting all of our content on there and that was all the rage he had to like fit that mold too except he was bad at call of duty he'd never played shooters and he's like a 45 year old man who like sells women's evenbay i said he'll be dead soon dead soon if not already and so he made these awful awful uh awful um videos that really terrible he called them junkyard quickies

where he'd play like one round of sabotage plant the flag the game would be over he'd go like oh and three one flag cap he was like hey if you enjoyed this junkyard quickie click the link down below and come to my personal channel for all the other content. I remember him clearly. This is the dude that followed his daughter and their friends to the mall, right? That sounds right. See, Hex will respect the hustle. And I mean hustle in like a –

Not that far. Chill out. Okay, I don't mean the daughter part but i think he respects the like the hustle but not the hustle and like working extra hard hustle is in like kind of scammy hustle right like working smarter not harder this guy would play a 90 second game make a buttload of cash and i like it he sort of leveraged his position. If he really wanted to make the most of it, he could have got better at the game.

But I think he just played enough for content, and what would happen is he would get carried by his team. They would win sabotage super quickly, and then he'd upload that as a video, as a Junkyard Quickie. And the sequence of the video was always similar. Hey, it's a Junkyard Quickie. Watch me go one and zero or one and one uh come to my channel for the rest and he'd just pimp his own channel get paid for this he was a premier director i think they called him no premier

i'm right about this i'm gonna tell you ken burton were the first two big ones right yeah i'm right about this the first number five premier machinima premier directors was if i remember correctly us uh hutch c nanners who the fuck anyway i know we were part of the first five and then after that like everybody else started to come in because i know that dr disrespect didn't even you're talking about like paid directors the machine the five the machine so there was premium and there was premiere and and so so Because I know that Dr. Disrespect didn't even come on. You're talking about like paid directors. The machine room. So there was premium and there was premiere. And so they had that contest way back in the day where they were like, hey, we need a new premiere director.

This is going to be like the big daddy director. They had a whole contest to decide who was going to take this new mantle. director. They had a whole contest to decide who was going to take this new mantle. And it was like, hey, present us a resume of a video to try out for this thing. And my resume was like

the first FPS Russia video. Somehow, I want to say that even though Junkyard got more votes than everybody else, somehow, they gave it to Dr. Disrespect anyway. And he was like, he made this video where he's like, well, they decided what they decided and they did what they did

and we're just going to keep making quickies. And it was just like, yeah, thank God. He wasn't already a premier director at that point? I could remember. There was only like, either there was only one, this was like the number one spot. This was like the, the,

the, the, the main guy, they were giving this to one person. I thought they were adding one more to the ranks. Well, there were premium directors and that was all of us. And then there was this premier director thing,

which was its own thing. And especially early on before they realized that there was going to be like 30 of us that could make the millions of dollars you know that in any case their business model had been like we need five guys and it was like we've got 50 guys yeah that that kind of machinima like how do what a way to fuck shit up right like they had it all they had it all they were the coolest shit in the world they had the coolest thing in gaming they had so many massive massive content creators all they had to do was harness that thing like like start their own instead of making like that mortal combat bullshit and and all that nonsense they should have been funneling

that money into like an esports team or two they should have been owning properties they should have been funding they should have been giving me enormous amounts of money to like make big projects they a lot of us should have been getting enormous amounts of money to make big projects. But they spent it all on nose clams. They spent it all on nose clams. They had that basketball series too where there was no gameplay. It was just

locker room basketball stuff. I take it back. They did give me an enormous amount of money to make content. Did you make it? Ooh. Very Joker-esque. They gave me money to shoot guns and I didn't even do it. They couldn't insure it.

They gave me like $175,000 cash, but then they were like, oh shit, we can't get this insured. And I was like, I already spent all the money. Hex. I asked you if you'd do anything different. I thought of something.

Do you think going to MLG TV was a mistake? No. No. Okay, go on. It was the quickest. Somebody offered somebody a million bucks to stream X amount of hours. I mean, same thing that's happening now, but way earlier, exactly six years ago. It's a young dude getting on there.

And I'm not calling myself young. I was talking to Nate Schatz-Gumpy, the people that got the big-ass contracts. I don't remember the exact amount, but it was way up there. A guarantee to get that? Absolutely. I would do that over and over again. To this day, if Mixer wants to come in and say, hey, I know you don't stream, but you have an okay following,

I'll give you $15,000 a month to stream X amount of hours. I'd be like, yeah. I don't care how much money I have. I'm always going to be hustling for that. know i think that kind of killed competitive cod though like suddenly it wasn't on twitch anymore suddenly the whole thing died like no like everyone they i'm not saying the people didn't get paid but the people stopped watching yeah i mean some people stopped watching i mean a lot of people were still uh very much in the middle of all of all of it um the the thing and it happens you see it nowadays you know you see some some leagues in

counter-strike go to facebook gaming and you know facebook's obviously trying to get their you know their their their hands around a part of this thing so they're throwing you know crazy amounts of money out there um and and it's okay i think i think that the more competition there is out there the better for everybody i mean look at look at what's happening right now with uh with ninja and shroud and everybody else going to mixer uh at some point or another uh and and i'm i'm only saying this in theory not i i don't know this okay but there's no way that twitch doesn't start to put up some fences and start protecting their you know their talent by offering x amount i mean it it's already it already has happened uh the one that's going to win always i think it's going to be youtube obviously they

they just have it you know they they are they're not winning the live game now can you see people go into youtube and streaming in the end uh i i think so i mean if if you think about it if you think about it the does twitch offer vod no not really no right youtube has the opportunity to offers the opportunity to do both very seamlessly and they have a a very cool startup behind them called google you know what i'm saying so it's they can literally they can literally do anything uh and and it won't and and it won't impact that i think i think youtube is is uh i think youtube is still a little bit too comfortable within itself and thinking that you know we're youtube we don't

really need to you don't pay anybody to find no's on YouTube. Isn't it really hard to donate to streamers on YouTube? I don't know. I've never donated anything on YouTube. I used to stream, but I never turned on the gifts or any of that. But it's YouTube. Everybody lives and dies by that. I don't think you can... You're doing half the work if you're only doing one thing.

I wonder what the alternative timeline looks like where there's no MLG, right? The players don't get that portion of their money, but some of those guys you're talking about made a lot of money anyway, right? Like Nate Schott's rich without that million.

I made up the million, but go with it. No, I mean, he wouldn't have made that much if it wouldn't have been for that. In that, there was no donations, there was no... No, he wouldn't have made that much if it wouldn't have been for that. In that, there was no donations. There was no subs. No, he wouldn't.

But in this alternative timeline, COD stays bigger longer. COD doesn't go to the obscure MLG TV site and sort of shrink. And the competitive scene doesn't lose out to the other games, maybe. Or maybe it still does. Maybe it doesn't change things.

Like, maybe... I mean, talking about nadeshot parent but maybe a hundred thieves is like an even bigger thing than it otherwise would have been if it stayed on twitch and stayed you know uh and and his bread and butter stayed big or got bigger had a higher peak i wonder what that timeline looks like who knows you're right like yeah i don't know i don't know yeah what does the timeline look like for call of duty esports if optic at the time didn't go back into competitive and we just continue to do sniper montages right right yeah who's to say that's a true riddle i mean it was a bad topic taylor doesn't like it question man the question man the discount suit uh yeah yeah no yeah if there's no yankees in baseball is all of baseball less interesting right like as a non-baseball fan to me the series is a little more interesting while the yankees are still alive. That's what Optic is.

What? My mistake. Yeah, that's where Optic was. If Optic got knocked out, it was like, oh, yeah, I guess we'll just see who wins. It was only interesting while Optic was still playing. Yeah. Look, and again, it was part of like i'm looking on twitch right now to see where call of duty is i love duty you know up in last year never not once did

it hit well it did a couple of times but the majority of the time it was it was spent in the in the 13th to 15th spot on twitch on uh on twitch as a as a whole that is super insane you know that that something like that was you know something as popular as that was so low where before in the years prior it used to be in the upwards in the top 10 at least and um and yeah no it definitely had an impact on the competitive going to MLG. But at the same time, it was only a group of people that went to MLG, not all of Call of Duty. It was the most interesting ones. Yeah.

Yeah. How's the cow? Is there any kind of update? I know sometimes it's not an interesting story. A cow? Yeah. I decided that I was eating so much steak that I should get a cow uh yeah i i decided that i was eating so much steak um that i should uh get a cow he was going to buy a small cow give it grass until it was a large cow then eat it

and that that process is ongoing you know i uh i bought a bought a heifer put her in my dad's farm of the heifer no i haven't seen the heifer. I have to ask for permission to go to that part of Georgia. Takes two weeks, this whole thing. Look at the Riddler over here coming in hot. It's just funny. You like to get permission

to go see my cow? They're like, no. No, you can't. We saw your podcast and you look like you're about to shoot up a theater or something yeah well kyle yeah bought a cow and i'm sure that the heifer is healthy the meat's gonna be delish it's gonna be good you know speaking of i know woody has asked before like hey guys go go rate the podcast on itunes because it helps us out and it helps the show and everything. And that's definitely true.

A couple of days ago, someone I work with who is like, like probably early 60s or something. It was like, like something came up and they're like, oh, and you do your podcast at the end of the meeting kind of thing. And they were like, can you do that podcast thing? I was like, yeah, yeah, I do the podcast. I've done it for so long. And they do the thing that I dread in my professional life, which is pull their phone out and go, help me find it. And I'm like, all right, go to iTunes and enter in painkiller already

you know because I don't want to show them the YouTube version yeah and so he took it out and he searched it up and he found painkiller already on iTunes and apparently there are a few new reviews

that people have left there and one of them says, and he was reading it out loud. He's like, uh, I'm so thankful to Woody and Kyle that despite Taylor's developmental disorders, they're willing to employ him on the show.

He's reading this. There's still other people in the room who I work with. Like not like every day, but people have connections. I email every so often, like that kind of thing. And he's reading this. There's still other people in the room who I work with. Like not like every day, but people I have connections, I email every so often, like that kind of thing. And he's like, why are they saying, why are they saying that? Like you're on the show with them. Right. And I'm like, yeah, it was a, a meme cropped up that I'm mentally retarded. That explains that. And I was expecting him to like, not get it entirely.

So that explains that. And I was expecting him to not get it entirely. He busted a gut about the prospect of a bunch of people on the internet saying that I was mentally retarded and writing it into iTunes reviews. So thanks, guys. Thanks for that. More reviews like that needed. Pump up our iTunes rating. It always helps.

So thanks, fellas. That could have gone one of two ways, and it went the good way. Whenever they're like, help me find it. And I'm like, no, my podcast isn't for good people like you. We tell bad jokes about bad people. No, bad jokes about good people sometimes. Yeah. Like solid people.

My grandparents refuse to look for it. They don't know what it's called. And I love that about it. Grandma says, I just don't. I know what the kind of, I can only assume the kind of things you're saying on there. And I don't want to hear my grandson saying those things. It's like, Grandma, I love you. Just continue to not know what the internet is. However, if your grandparents saw how you talked about them on the show, they would feel warm inside. They would, but they'd have to sift through

a hundred bogs of shit to come across one of those you gotta go knee deep and raccoon shit to get all the way to the part where taylor is thankful for their delicious meals and his grandfather's you know good times on the farm and all that stuff yeah you gotta go i'll kind of talk about brothers and i got a thing so i i have this small injury in my ankle right um it's posterior tib or something it's a tendon runs along the inside of your foot to your ankle ah post tib we call it in the end industry they literally do did you make that up or just guess correctly i i guess correctly okay i thought both of what you asked were the same it's not a big deal it'll fine, but it's taking a while.

Anyway, I go to the therapist and the orthopedic surgeon, and they tell me I need to wear shoes all the time. The core of it is I have flat feet. When you have flat feet, it foot times the roll inward, and it's putting strain on this. Cool. So now I have shoes, the mom running. I've got suburban mom running shoes that I wear

all the time. They're by Hookah or something. Do you have them on? No, I'm wearing these Superboy boots right now. Oh, that's true. Yeah, you guys can see them, right? No, we saw them at the beginning. The integral part of the costume.

I put all the effort and superboy costume can't have more effort than this it's all of it so anyway uh an actual thing go ahead it is yeah yeah so anyway these shoes make me like an inch and a half taller but they had me get insoles for them to be even more art supporty i am like a legit six two and a half in these king jung-un shoes and I'm loving it. So my actual height, if people don't know, is like I literally am 5'11 and 3 quarters. So I say 6 foot, but that's what I actually am. But now I'm like a legit 6'2 and a half with these Kim Jong-un shoes on, and I'm just loving it.

My wife, I'm like putting my chin on top of her head. Colin, who is rapidly past – he hasn't passed me in height yet, but like every so often I have to double check it because he's right there. And not with these shoes on, baby. With these shoes on, like I'm looking over his head. And I'm in, I just, I'm getting a kick out of my stilts. I like them. And I'll also throw into the mix that people like Woody are ruining the reputation of us

who are actually six foot and go to the doctor and get measured and just bastardizing the market hey it's a quarter inch you know I would argue that if you didn't press down my hair I'd be six foot and my hair is a part of me

honestly I like that argument is a part of me. Honestly, I like that argument. It's part of me. It's going there with silly ass hair. Doc Brown from Back to the Future. Wait, so what are the names of those shoes? Hookah? I can get them from downstairs. Hookah shoes.

No, I got them. I got them. Did I get the name right? I'm terrible at this. Oh my god. They're expensive. $150 get the name right? I'm terrible at this. Oh, my God. They're expensive. $150? They were expensive. I was really having a hard time getting my ankle to heal. Let's see if you go to StockX if you can find some. What the hell do you spell it?

H-O-K-A. H-O-K-A. Hoka. These are some enormous soles on these shoes. Yes. I'm pulling up. Oh, my pulling out they do have them they have wow they have they have uh they have some that are like 400 bucks polka one one tour ultra low wjp uh there's there's one for 434 dollars i never mind i walked out spending like 250 but the insoles were 50 and i

got two pairs so i want to say they were like 150 160 or something like that um what's interesting about them you know how most shoes they kind of like bend at the toe these almost roll like the bottoms are damn near curved and i guess some runners prefer they're like serious runner shoes like if you were a runner, you might be aware of this brand. I want to run. I'm literally like, I've been getting in shape lately,

and now I have this desire. I saw a YouTuber do it, and she was hot, so I figured I should do it too. Nice. Right? That's how we pick our fitness advice here on the show. She ran a mile a day for 30 days,

and I'm like, I want that. Like that, that sounds like sort of a baby steps way to get in running. If I do this, I'll get nice tits and a hot ass. That's the theory. Yeah. So I'm like, I'll run a mile a day for 30 days and get that kind of rack like she did.

And I talked to my physical therapist and he's like, that's the last thing you can do right now, but we're working on it. So that's where we are. Oh, and I want to make a video, like a compilation, right? You'll start off on day one and I just absolutely suck. Maybe don't even run the whole mile

because it's hilly. And then by day 30, there's a new me. That's the thought process. I had a friend of mine recently. I was out. I can't believe i brought this up yet it was a couple weekends ago and i was like dude where's eric they're like you didn't hear no

it's like eric has dysentery and i was like he'll never make it to oregon okay so he's just late he's just late like he's like no he's he had dysentery for like two weeks like he's like no he's he's had dysentery for like two weeks like he's it's really you know kind of he tried to forge the river it turns out he went on vacation in mexico and decided that he was too good for the don't drink the water rule and he drank the water got fucking like third world dysentery and now it might have a i don't know how dysentery works really but apparently if you have it you can it can cause like long-term digestive issues like he might not be able to eat red meat and shit for the rest of his life because of the devastation it's an infection of the intestine resulting in severe diarrhea with the presence of blood and mucus in the feces.

It is an inflammatory disease. Yeah, I just said that. Other symptoms include fever and a feeling of incomplete defecation, which means that you, constipation is the feeling. Incomplete defecation. I thought that meant that you pooped but felt like you still had to poop. Oh, that's the worst feeling. Taylor, I have a question for you and i want you answered honestly your friend would he have benefited from losing a few

pounds honestly no no he was uh like a normal weight i was gonna say if i get dysentery he is a normal weight guy right now he's probably getting closer to the low weight of normal i feel like he's preparing for a ufc fight like he's probably fucking ripped no he's probably getting closer to the low weight of normal. I feel like he's preparing for a UFC fight. He's probably fucking ripped. No, he's emaciated. That's how I like my girls. It's weird to say it because you picture emaciated as skin and bone kind of thing. But if somebody who's normal weight by Western standards, which is a little overweight gets dysentery they become emaciated

and yet they're still not at that super low weight but you can tell in their face like the sunken eyes like weird creases start to form in their face i'm picturing like subcutaneous fat have been lost where it wouldn't have otherwise is his name joaquin phoenix how do you pronounce his name you got it yeah okay he in the the Joker, is he like that? He's kind of emaciated. No, he's still bigger than that, but he has he's got Joker face.

Not the paint, but that look. That gaunt, sunken, sallow look. I like the idea that he has a disease that gave him Kyle's face. Yeah, it's sweaty it's that it looks almost clammy clammy face that sucked in yeah yeah pretty much and it turns out dysentery no joke really really a bad thing you'd think i would have known that because

millions of people die from it every year but uh not in the western world though no i just didn't think that shit happened here i figured like if you get dysentery in mexico you come back to fucking phoenix or wherever you live and you you have some chicken noodle soup and eat some fiber one bars and you're all good to go good to go i guess not i guess not so hopefully he's able to eat red meat again we'll see let me uh let me do an advertisement here tell Tell everybody about Harry's Razors. This episode of PK is brought to you by some of the highest German engineering around, Harry's. Six years ago, Harry's founders, Jeff and Andy, were tired of paying for overpriced razors. They realized that they were not alone.

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So, get started today, right now. Again, that's harrys.com slash painkiller. I like their ad read. That's pretty cool. I like that they're supporting men's mental health too. Yep. Maybe. We got some crazies.

That may help Kyle and I. Oh, another thing about that guy who read the review. He literally, this guy, you wrote a review, that was fantastic whoever wrote this one, but he included a mention of the real sweet kids at the end. And he's like, he asked me, who are the real sweet kids? And I was like, oh, it's just our fans. We joke around. You couldn't explain we were the real sweet kids? Or maybe we're collectively the real sweet kids.

I like that. I was just really trying to get away from anything to do with the Rape Squad Killas. I don't know who those people are. I'm not familiar with that. I don't know who they are either. Yeah. Actually, I wasn't there for that episode. Not responsible.

But check out Harry's. I wasn't either. Nope. Nope. Neither was the Joker here. What, did you poke, is that face paint irritating your eyes? Yes. Yes.

Very much so. They look red. Can you get closer to the camera? Yeah, because it's not, that's not from the Mary Jane. No. Because you don't do that. No, they drug test me pretty regularly, but the face paint is getting into my eyeballs. Thought so.

That's commitment to the bit. I'm starting to think this entire costume is made of shredded fiberglass. Because I am so fucking itchy. I am so fucking itchy. I don't know. I'm going to get a fucking rash on my face. I hope it looks like your mask. That would be pretty fucking itchy. I don't know. I'm going to get a fucking rash on my face. I hope it looks like your mask. That would be pretty fucking funny.

It's just a band of... Come on, Taylor. There's no reason for you and I to be complaining when Woody's wearing that scratchy shirt. He's the one who's really suffering. I dyed my hair. He dyed his hair. God knows if it's ever going to go back to normal.

I knew it was going to last half an hour with mine i knew it it's just too hot in there let me slip this other ad read in and we'll be we'll be done with those for the show i like this one a lot you don't need a cheat code to get full compensation after a car crash or other injury you need morgan and morgan the personal injury law firm that's for the people not the powerful powerful. They're a family-owned firm that never represents large corporations. Morgan & Morgan will take on the insurance companies so that you can focus on getting back to full health. On average, people who hire an attorney after a crash recover three times more than those who don't. With 500 attorneys in offices in Florida, New York,

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There's only one Morgan and Morgan. Check them out where you want to be. Yeah, they don't call them car accidents anymore It's not an accident It's a collision And they could be responsible for your injuries They don't call it an accident You need them on your side

Yep If you want great representation That's the way to go Alright Well Next do you fold or crumple your toilet paper uh i don't use toilet paper i fold the baby wipes oh i will what kind of away from my body what kind of animal still uses toilet paper i do i do My baby wipe, for me, is a finishing blow. Like, I will get a

pauper clean with paper and then come in and take us to the next level with the baby wipe. I like crumple. Here's my thing. Oh, what the fuck? I think I did that when I was a little kid, but here's something that I thing oh what the fuck i think i did that when i was like a little kid but here's

here's here's something that i'm very passionate about okay it's wiping your your buttocks okay here's the trick for everybody because i don't think i've ever told on this podcast and it's imperative that i do the public service announcement on the psa on pka new segment here we go bring it man if you have ever ever had the situation which i'm sure you have where you eat too much spicy food and in the digestive process doesn't lose any of its potency and it just shoots out as hot as it came in here's the trick okay no no no no no you don't have to pour milk down your crack no what you do is do is you grab some baby wipes and you put them in the refrigerator. Not the freezer.

In the refrigerator. It cools it. It cools it. It cools it. It cools it. Have you ever thought to yourself, man, I wish I could wipe my ass with an ice cube right now? Not once. No.

No. Never. You can pop them right in there. Exactly. So here's the thing. They disappear. In no time at all, they're not even sharp edges. You cool them.

You cool the baby wipes and you're home free. It's amazing. It's amazing. I kind of want to try this. I think if you just Vaseline up your asshole, I think it just won't even feel the hot fiery nature of your your diet i'm picturing hector running through the house pants around his ankles in that little stutter step you take headed back to the refrigerator to get wet wipes no i mean i would get the wet wipes

because on the first poop on the first poop you're gonna know that there's some more coming and you're not you're gonna be there for a little bit. So, you know, refrigerate. I mean, don't you guys have a refrigerator in your bathroom? Yeah, a little mini fridge. Yeah, in case you get dehydrated while you're shitting, you need a Gatorade Zero. I take dehydrating shits. I do.

I made the mistake the other week. I was just sitting around one night, and I was hungry. I didn't want to make anything, though. I didn't want to make anything though. I didn't want to make anything. And all I had in the pantry was a box of Fiber One brownies. And I think I ate four or five lemon bar Fiber One brownies.

And I didn't know how much shit was in my body until the following morning around. And it wasn't like a normal morning shit. It was like an 1115 morning, like, like barely morning shit.

And it was cresting over the top of the water, like an iceberg, just an absolute pile. You wouldn't do well in prison without the mid-game flush no i was able to jump higher and run faster after that kind of shit like i i i bet i weighed three pounds less how much does the average shit weigh i was just gonna say that there there i had an idea in i don't know early on uh that there should be a weight that tells you how much you just pooped out. Because it doesn't work if you stand on a scale

and then go poop. I've tried that. But I also know that it has to be more than two ounces. You know what I'm saying? I Googled it. Google says the average poop weighs around a quarter pound to a pound. So maybe Taylor... Oh, maybe taylor put those to

shame yeah one and a half two pounds maybe double an average what a terrible answer though that's like the average person weighs between 100 and 200 pounds that is true a quarter factor four yes i nearly said a magnitude of four which isn't right at all but yeah i like magnitude better though yeah that's a cooler word just say that Yeah I won't make you look dumb in this light Don't think how smart Woody is for using magnitude That's a 4.0 on the shit magnitude scale On the schichter scale Schichter scale I like that

On the sphincter scale That's better Yeah I've taken some scary ones before You know what I like about Halloween Here's I'm going to tell you the secret What I love about Halloween? Here's, I'm going to tell you the secret. Now the secret. What I love about Halloween is these double bubbles.

This is the best tasting worst gum in the history of gum ever. That's delicious for four to six seconds. Four to six seconds. That's that little league fucking chewing gum that would come in that whole bucket.

Big league chew. Our coach would always have like a bucket, That's that Little League fucking chewing gum that would come in that bucket. Big League Chew. No, no, no. Our coach would always have a bucket, like a two-gallon bucket. He'd sit on the bench. You see this trophy right here? This is the ESWC trophy. You can't see it. I'm not going to try it. We dump all of these

bubble, double bubbles in there. I've gone through 15 i don't know can we get a counter in the comment section down below how many times i've swapped out my gum okay because it is it's the most delicious gum ever for three seconds you know how they say shit like don't swallow your gum yeah it'll stay in your gi tract for seven years. Well, a friend of mine... That's not true. I know it isn't. But a friend of mine works at a hospital in like a GI lab

kind of thing where they... I know it is. They do colonoscopies and shit. And he told me, he's like, yeah, we can literally see when someone is a gum swallower. Because it stays there longer. It's not like it's seven years but it does stay in your

tract longer and so he's like oh yeah if someone is chewing gum all the time and they swallow it we see it in their gi tract just a pile of gum that's still waiting to get you know eroded by acid or whatever the fuck i still i don't even believe that to be frank i don't think it's just normal it does work there i think it's a liar, though. Maybe. If some commenter is like, actually, I'm the head surgeon at a GI unit. First of all, do your job. Don't listen to this show. I work at R&D at Double Bubble, and we just want to refute what the Riddler said last night. Because that gum is going through you at the same rate as any food. In fact,

when you take a poop, it makes bubbles. If there was a gum that did that, I can't blow a bubble with gum. I'm incapable. You can't? You retard. But if my butthole could, that'd be great.

That would be outstanding. You're just going... But I do that thing, you know when you blow a bubble, but then you pinch it off, and you spit the gum out, so now you have a bubble of air? Imagine that, but you do it with your butthole. It would be a bubble of fart. And you just take that, and you put it somewhere,

like a little ticking time fart. Chew on this, little friend so you have to pull it out of oh is that grape you know no i'm trying to figure out what gum is made out of right so you would think it was like gum like tree gum and i always thought it was plastic but i I'm like, hey, I'm on the internet, so let's figure this out. Me and the Riddler had a visceral reaction. Plastic! New plastic gum. Now, 0% food. You think that sounds crazy?

That sounds reasonable to me. Okay. Chewing gum was originally made from sap called chicle, a natural rubber. After World War II, chemists learned to make synthetic rubber, which came to replace most natural rubber. So it's polyvinyl acetate is what it is, which

I think is plastic. I think it's polyvinyl acetate. Ah. So the Canadian government was concerned about the acetate and that it was considered toxic, but government regulators were forced to back down to industry pressure.

So there it is, polyvinyl acetate. Is that plastic? Dude, buying products back in like 1891 must have been fucking awesome. It's just like, oh, my tooth hurts. Oh, try Dr. Stevie's meth. It's like, oh, okay. I'll try that. If that doesn't work, try

Dr. McGillicuddy's finest heroin. And that's what they would have. Just dope-ass cocaine, heroin, meth. All the drugs that they say are bad for you now. The dopest ass cocaine. Polyvinyl acetate is also used in hot glue gun

adhesives, sealants, fabric finishing, plastic wood, and ink. This isn't like a food. Plastic is about on target. I mean if hot glue gun shit's not plastic wood is. Who among us when we were children and first given a run with the hot glue gun

didn't try and chew up one of those sticks. I did. Kyle, did your lighting just change a lot? It's when I open a page. I think I'm going blind though. Everything's very cloudy.

Yeah, bro. I prescribe another cigarette stat. I'm about to fire one up i thought i'd go to an ama question by the way if you'd like to ask us some ama questions i think it's just five dollars sign up on patreon um this guy said in the news if you search my the jail the prison that i was in it says that someone was arrested for trafficking drugs in the talladega county jail ah you're off buddy see i in prison. This is the county jail. He's wondering if I had any knowledge on if I was there while it happened.

Quite a few people got punished for selling drugs while I was there. I don't know if they file criminal charges when they catch you with drugs in prison. It seems a bit redundant. But there was definitely several people who got caught. One of them had synthetic marijuana, which is called Spice. And another guy had actual marijuana, and he got caught. The actual drug dealers never got caught while I was there. The two people that I saw get caught were just users and they just had their own

shit. But there were people there selling every drug under the sun, really. From Oxycontin to marijuana to heroin. But those people did not get caught for whatever reason.

Did you ever try that spice shit? No, never. I always had marijuana. I remember it was high school when that spice shit was still legal here. I think it's illegal now. Where are you from? Missouri. St. Louis.

We were in high school and we were drinking a bunch at a friend of ours house hanging out, doing fun stuff and we came back in and this guy had like a huge like you can't smoke weed at my house you can't smoke weed at my house and everybody was like we don't care dude we're fucking 18 we just want to get drunk and then we came back in later and this was during the first season of archer the very first season was maybe like two or three episodes in.

And he'd been telling us all night, dude, you gotta watch this show. You gotta watch this Archer show. It's so funny. Like, all right. And it was late in the night. There were only maybe like five guys left. So we're sitting there,

all buzzed, all a little drunk, feeling good, sitting around, about to start watching an episode of Archer. And he goes, oh, wait, paused it. Let's smoke some spice before we turn on archer and i was like and everybody's like yeah sure because they'd all done it before and i i'd never smoked this spice stuff and i was like i guess okay i'll do it too everybody's doing i'll do it and so he packs up a little uh like, a baddie of that, and everybody's, like, smoking, like, half of it,

and you pass to the next person, and they finish it, and then they repack it with the spice, and they pass it along. And it got to me, and I had the, like, the guy prior to me had packed it full because he had finished it, and he gave it to me, and I took a big hit of spice, handed it off to the guy to my and i took a a big hit of spice and handed it off to the guy to my left and then kind of like and they said hold it in hold it in hold it in it's like i held it in until i and for maybe four seconds afterward i was like i knew it fake weed doesn't do a thing and then my entire reality came to a halt like it it

was i felt like someone i i remember even at the time describing it afterward because afterward those fucking maniacs at least two of them were like let's smoke more spice and i was like no no i don't want to do more of that that's's terrible. For like 15 minutes, I felt like a giant had my shoulders in their arms and was just shaking, just shaking me and moving me around and tipping me over. And my whole balance, my inner ears just went to shit. I didn't know it was happening. It was an absolute fucking panic attack for 15 minutes. It was horrible.

One of the worst experiences of my life, doing that fake weed shit. So fucking bad. So anybody out there who wants to try that spice stuff, I don't think people even do that anymore. But holy fuck, do not do it. It's not even a little bit fun. It is terrible. When people say synthetic weed, are they talking about spice? Yeah, synthetic weed is spice. And so it is terrible when people say synthetic weed are they talking about spice

yes synthetic weed is spice and so it it tastes all right like it tastes like oh they you know kind of this tastes like blueberry or something and then you're just absolutely debilitated it is fucking terrible i felt like i was gonna vomit and it was you know like if you drink too much and you feel like you're gonna vomit you go to the bathroom and it's like oh the vomit is coming like here is the vomit like you vomit i felt like i was gonna vomit and there was no way to vomit it was just like it simulated the feeling of needing to yak without the actual biological need to yak and so you could just stand there i remember i went outside at one point and was like i'm gonna throw up i'm gonna fucking throw up and i stood there for a bit like drooling like i was gonna throw up but there was no actual biological need to throw up so i just it was the worst of

both worlds so how long did it last 15 minutes after 15 minutes a hundred percent back to normal almost like instantly over the course of like two minutes it came from calamitous panic to i'm fine did anyone like it uh yeah two of my buddies apparently did because i kept using it uh i i don't know though that shit's fucking sucked terrible yeah i would not uh i would not want any part of that yeah me either yeah no fuck that shit no i've heard too many like horror stories of people like getting having like seizures and stuff from that oh wow yeah i've never heard about that yeah yeah for sure i've heard a lot of horror stories like that like having really bad adverse reactions to it whereas there's marijuana that doesn't do anything bad to

you whatsoever so yeah this doesn't seem like a good idea. I was driving a couple friends back to Mizzou one time, and they were into that spice shit, and they were in the back of my car. Another friend of mine was in front, and they're like, hey, pull off at this fishing shack. You know, to get to where Mizzou is, it's in Columbia, Missouri, St. Louis. It's

just a straight shot on Highway 70. So there's not a lot. And he's like, pull off, pull off. I want to go to this fishing store. I'm like, OK, I guess we pull off. Turns out that fishing store was a bait and tackle shop plus a spice depot. And so they came back with a ton of this spice stuff and this is post when i had that experience in my buddy's house and so they got back in the back and they were like you guys want to smoke this and i'm i'm like no no first of all i'm driving second of all this is no this is terrible i don't want to do that and they smoked all of it between them to the point that they got so panicked that I had to pull off like four miles down the road past that to a cracker barrel and hang out for an hour while they came to. Because I guess they smoked so much it did not immediately. What did you do while they were panicking?

Did you were you like remember White Boy was a good too high tour guide. I called him were you uh no because i i we pulled off into the cracker barrel and then they we sat there for a couple minutes in the lot and i was like you guys are you guys good to go yet you guys good to go and they're like no we got to get out we got to get out of the car so they got out and then stood for a couple more minutes and i was like all right well let's just go into Cracker Barrel and have a meal. And so we ended up going in. I got a nice breakfast, and they just were sweaty.

Cracker Barrel has good breakfast. You ever get the hash brown casserole? I haven't had that. I think I got their basic like, not a Grand Slam because it's not Denny's, but whatever their equivalent is where it's a bunch of bacon, hash browns, eggs, toast. I'm king breakfast. I love breakfast. Is my thing

fucked up? No, you're good. What thing? I don't know if I pressed... If your thing's fucked up, we've got blue chew for you. The Cracker Barrel biscuits, man. Oh my

God. Insanely good. But I will say that the grand slam does have another grand slam the smokehouse sausage at ihop is the best sausage in the world it is incredibly like above and beyond better than anything else in the sausage world you can have um it's the smokehouse sausage combo smokehouse i haven't tried that before. I am going to research. Why haven't I ever looked at it? I could eat nothing but breakfast food the rest of my life and be stoked. The hash brown casserole at Cracker Barrel is amazing. It's hash browns with onions and shit in there.

They're really fucking good. I sent you a picture. I had steak and eggs this morning. They were so fucking good. I marinated the sirloin steak overnight and like orange juice and spices and i had eggs with um green chilies uh shallots and uh bell pepper in them it was really good that was a great breakfast it looked great it made it you sent that in this, it was like 745 or whatever this morning when you sent that. And I had just finished working out. I was famished.

And I was about to have like a bullshit, like, protein shake. And I see Kyle's delicious ass meal rolling in. And I'm immediately just straight up envious. It was early. Oh, 745. Yeah, it was 845 our time. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I think Kyle said something.

Maybe Taylor had a question and Chiz answered it. I'm like, everyone's up right now. Yeah, man. Yeah, I fixed my sleep schedule yesterday. You know, I was we did PKN, our other podcast yesterday. It's like an hour long show we do. And I had been up for like the entire night and the entire day and i had had a one hour nap and i was just like i was a fucking zombie and and as soon as we wrapped that up i went and got

right into bed and slept all night long until like 8 a.m this morning and i think i'm good now i'll probably go to bed tonight again at like midnight or something like that and get up again tomorrow at 8 or 9 a.m. I'm a huge fan of the morning workout now that I'm doing it. I'm kind of used to it. It's much more effective. It burns more fat. Reddit. I don't know how much it actually burns more fat,

but I used to do my whatever work I had to do that day, meetings and shit, and then come home and work out at night. Now I just wake up at 6 and I'm tired at 6. And so I roll over onto my little end table, take my caffeine pill, set my alarm for 6.15, and by like 6.13 I'm up, like wired. And then I go down to my basement gym, work out in my basement,

go up, get ready for the day, prepare and everything. And if anything, I feel more energized by like 9 a.m. than anything else where I'm like, man, I've already accomplished something. I already did something. I feel good. I'm ready. Whatever activity or work thing I have to do right now, I'm kind of prepped to do. thing I have to do right now I'm kind of prepped to do and then when I get done for the day I have more time and I'm tired by like 10 which is nice Jordan Peterson would approve right like wake up clean your room you're like you wake up you hit the gym you kick off your day with an accomplishment already and I've got a nice one up on Jordan Peterson because I'm not addicted to prescription pills. The caffeine addiction is coming. The caffeine addiction may be coming. Well, I drink so little caffeine.

I'm not a coffee drinker. So the pill of 200 milligrams of caffeine is what I imagine crack to be like for people. Because I am so wired. So fucking wired. But not in a bad way that you get with pre-workouts. Maybe people are different, but when I've tried pre-workouts and use them in the past, I hate that tingling beta alanine feel that they give you because that's the ingredient beta alanine that gives you that, that full body tingle as you're working out. And I've, I always have hated that. I know some people love it to each their own. I fucking hate it. And this gives me all of the amp without any of that tingling.

So I'm, and it's fucking a hundred or 200 pills for like $7. Like that's cheap. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty, pretty great. So what's your,

your exercise routine hex? Um, let's see. Um, like non-existent does that take a lot of time yeah it does no yeah they're really it's it's non-existent uh when was it i think sometime last year i just stopped going to the gym i think it was like march and it had nothing to do with the stuff that was going around me or maybe it did. Maybe I'm just in my own head saying that I wasn't depressed, you know, but I just stopped caring a little bit about, you know, the good old. The other thing is, is like, I'm so goddamn good looking that it's like it'd be unfair if I was fit too, you know? Right.

Save some pussy for the rest of us. You are a cutie. See, I have to be fit because my face is horrible. I started working out. i and i was i was a very very i had a i had a trainer i had a trainer uh and i was doing good i was like the fittest i'd ever been um from a cardio perspective i was still super super so i've always been like i'm really good at every single sport. And I always played basketball throughout my entire life. I played basketball all through high school, every single day, twice a day.

And I was always fit. But then all of a sudden, you know, real world hits and you have to go to work and you're sitting in front of the computer for eight hours a day. And that just goes away. And you don't play as much as you used to. You're still consuming, you know, if not more food than you used to all the unhealthy stuff did you feel like you consciously traded fitness for professional success yes me too yeah there you know absolutely yeah yeah it's it's basketball wasn't making money you know and how old are you hex 39 i know i don't look it i don't know

i would have guessed 21 yeah that's what that's what they usually tell me yeah no uh i don't know i think it's the hair that makes me look super young because it's not it's not going anywhere and i mean i see it a little bit actually but it But it's still super thick. For 39, that's awesome. Solid hairline. Yeah, there's no early indicators. Yeah. No, my dad's got a full head. Brother, same thing.

I've had a five head since I was 17. We just stopped here. It's just whatever. My forehead is actually abnormally big. I think so, too. If you put four fingers. Let me see you. Yeah, it's normal.

What about you over here? Mr. Question Man. Yeah. Mr. Question Man. Mr. Confused. Captain Confused. A royalty-free Riddler. I just ask intricate questions.

I wish I'd... I'm planning on it. So I got this tuxedo coming in the mail because the Esports Industry Award is happening here in Arlington, Texas for the first time ever. It's in the United States. And it's in three weeks or something like that. Uh-oh. See that entry?

Nice little spin. So it's happening and and it's it's the same measurements that i've always had so i'm bringing it in i'm trying it on uh tomorrow to see how much i gotta go and uh the second that i put that on i i'm gonna know what my benchmark is and it's to fit in there. And the thing about me... How much time do you have? What do you mean? To make the tux fit. The 15th or 16th?

You have two weeks. Yeah. Okay. How much do you have to lose? I don't know. I haven't tried the tuxedo on. The thing is this. I'm fat everywhere.

Well, let me say this. I'm fat only here and on my on my belly my arms super skinny legs super i like i don't have any signs of i literally have a beer belly but i don't drink any beer it's more like a burrito belly you know like i do have those you can lose a little bit here if you fast you can lose so much weight yeah it's hard to do it's it's it's hard to discipline yourself to just like stop eating but when i when i went to prison like there would be five day stretches where i would not eat why just lose weight i lost 35 pounds when i was in prison jesus yeah in two months you know what's crazy if you look at i don't know you probably don't but mike the situation

sorrentino from Jersey Shore. Yeah. He was fat, you know, like during the last, so it's called the Jersey Shore Family Vacation. They came back, the show came back, and it's just as funny as it was way back when. But Mike used to eat a lot because he was having his tax problems and he was about to go to jail. He came out and he's like a legit bodybuilder, like massive, massive arms. As big as, probably bigger than he was. his tax problems and he was about to go to jail. He came out and he's like a legit bodybuilder. Like massive, massive arms. As big as, probably bigger than he was. Came out on

the show or came out of jail? I got confused. Came out of jail in the show. Okay. So he went to jail during the, it's a weird thing, but it was crazy. Now, this is the one that's going to blow your mind. Sundance DiGiovanni, you guys all know him, came on my podcast July 4th, or the week, three days to blow your mind. Sundance DiGiovanni, you guys all know him, came on my podcast

July 4th, or the week, three days before July 4th. Okay? He was, you know, he was a grown man. He was, you know, he was a little bit overweight. This dude didn't eat solids

for, I believe, 30 days, right? It was the the right amount of whatever things that you need to have on a daily basis protein and fat with through shakes and stuff i see no no no it's just i think i don't remember i'd have the text somewhere but he didn't eat any of that it was just uh uh any uh antibiotics is that what it's called? Not antibiotics. Vitamins. Yeah, just vitamins. Yeah, exactly. Vitamins. What is that? Probiotics. Sorry. Probiotics. Vitamins in his water for an entire

month, and you could not believe the way this dude looked. I had just seen him the month prior, and then we show up at an MLG event, and he's walking towards me. I'm like, oh, sure. What the fuck? I look at him, and I'm like, what the hell bro his face if you look if you look him up right now his face is super he looks like he's 20 years old the dude and all from not eating

anything he's like i had a hot dog and a burger on july 4th and i never ate again and i mean he's back he's back to it uh but he had to that guy yeah he had to do broth first to reactivate the you know the the the old engine and then he started to move it moving on to solids and i'm like i was like i cannot believe like questions what are you shit if all you're doing is eating water so you don't poop but you have to poop no like if you don't use it you lose it like your intestines like it no k Kyle didn't poop for 16 days. Yeah, it was 15 or 16 days. It was something like that.

Is this camera fucked up anywhere else? No, you're good. Your camera is a little Joker-esque right now. Yeah, man. Mine? Yeah. You're really going for it, huh? Right now, it's...

It's like scrambled. It's like scrambled. Really? This is the porn I watched in the 80s. So please tell me. You didn't poop for 16 days. Explain that. Did you feel that you had to poop?

No. I didn't have to. No. No. There wasn't enough food going in. I didn't have to go. So the camera's fucked up now? Yes.

Weird. I don't see anything wrong i i'll leave the call and join back yeah yeah i've been super disciplined on my diet recently if recently means yesterday and today is that yeah you're fixed kyle you're all good weird i think that's a symptom i've never had before maybe right i have yeah that's not a normal issue yeah that's bizarre so so what's your diet now? Now it's just moderation, like just not eating too much of anything. Like for breakfast, I had a really small sirloin steak and some scrambled eggs. And then for dinner, I had a grilled chicken sandwich.

I'm Mexican. I can't do that. What were you about to say, Woody? I was half making a joke, just that I haven't cheated at all in two days. It's not very long. Yeah, I like Mexican food, too. I cook a lot. I cook a lot. So I'll make fajitas or I'll make carne asada or something like that. Just less of it.

Tortillas, rice, beans. Who am I if I don't eat those things a couple of days ago i made um homemade crunchwrap supremes they were so fucking good let me see if i've got a picture somewhere i'm gonna move the picture to my to over here i'll have to get it off my phone but i'd never done that before you know taco bell has the crunchwrap supremes yeah uh but but it's kind of there's a lot of YouTube videos and stuff online about how to make them at home. I made them and they were amazing.

They're so much better than fucking Taco Bell. For sure. But I like to cook. I cook a lot. That's the big thing I watch on YouTube now is various cooking shows. That's probably my biggest hobby right now is cooking, too. I do a lot of cooking. God, my eyes burn.

Yeah, dude. If I were you, I'd go take care of that, dude. Just take that shit off. This is not a simple take that off kind of thing. Yeah, but permanent eye damage? I need permanent eye damage. I put some eye drops in a moment ago. That helped a little bit.

No, that's just going to reactivate the enzymes in the paint, dude. You just made that up. Don't reactivate the enzymes. It's not the enzymes of the paint, dude. You're a dead man now. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you would think they would make this paint not

burn your eyes. Of course, I guess they thought I was smart enough not to paint my bottom eyelid, but it just seemed like the way to go at the time. This is an interesting question. It's from the Ask Me Anything, the Patreon questions, and it's for Kyle. You were in prison with people who've been in for over a decade. Did you have to

explain YouTube or the internet to guys who've never used it before their time in prison? Excellent question. They, they understood that like, like nobody, I thought that there,

maybe there would be some people who were just like, like almost like time travelers. They were so like, you know, they'd been in for, for, for so long or whatever, but that wasn't really the case.

They understood the internet. There were definitely people that I explained what I did and how that worked for sure. Like my buddy Snow, I explained that to him over the course of – I must have explained it to him three or four fucking times. If you asked him today, he probably still doesn't know. But I broke it down as best I could and explained what I had done in the past and what I did now. And yeah, there were some people I explained that sort of thing too, but there were a lot of guys that were really hip to that sort of thing and got it. You know, there, there were several guys that were in there for internet based crimes, you know, where it was identity theft or they had, they had like, um, they were coders or programmers or sys admins and, and, and using that, um, that access that

they had to a company's, um, data banks, they were able to siphon money. You know, they were the watchdog. So they were the guy that, that, that was, if anyone was going to catch some money getting siphoned out, it was going to be them and they they it's not like they had a guy over looking over their shoulder so they could just yeah they just do it could have it was almost like that that scheme from um office space you know stuff like that i was thinking about it on a drive recently when i worked at cisco it was one of the early companies to do e-commerce there was a time when cisco was like the second largest e-commerce person in terms of revenue anyway cisco kept credit card numbers

in what they call clear text like it wasn't encrypted or anything and uh i had access to the production databases because sometimes you'd need that for my job and uh yeah i like i would i ran queries against it just out of curiosity straight up like all right show me all the credit card numbers that aren't expired right now thousands and i was like all right probably should end our curiosity right here but they were there that like i i had all the numbers i needed i could have done silly things yeah yeah uh one one guy was explaining in general terms because you know you don't want to admit to like specific crimes in prison cause somebody might just go tell on you to get time taken off of themselves. But he had,

he was in there for a crime he did not commit. And he was like, he was like, I didn't do it. He's like, what they said I did, I absolutely had nothing to do with that. And I could prove that I didn't do it. I was like, well, why are you here? He's like, well, if I hadn't pled guilty to what they accused me of, they'd have kept digging. They'd have found what I actually did. I love that story. I love that story. You know, he was one of those guys who was like the watch to some sort of E guy,

some sort of like, like tech guy for a large corporation. And the money was kind of flowing past him, not necessarily through him, but like he was like keeping the gears turning on the e-commerce side of things. And I guess he had been, they accused him of one thing and he was just like

his lawyer was like wait you did this too he's like yeah yeah i actually did do this thing he's like they haven't mentioned that i don't think they know about it he's like well if they keep digging they're gonna find it he's like we gotta plead guilty to this other little thing. You'll do a year and a half and you'll be out. Damn. Yeah, clear text numbers. And also, I don't want to give much away. I don't know if the system's still live, but the way that the security worked

was predictable if you were hip to it. So if I was going to rob Cisco, how would I best do it, Woody? I could. Yeah. And not really rob cisco rob their customers and uh you know better yeah i could just like add free shit to their order add line items to the order and it would be no trouble now i don't know how to not get caught right like how

do i send things to me not do we send it here at home but uh what you would you would oh maybe maybe like transfer to uh some sort of um crypto right oh well this would be physical items this particular oh okay i could figure out things cisco sells can be very expensive quarter million dollars million dollars yeah right so um like but now what do i do with how do i get it we're gonna have it mailed someplace there are no cameras maybe you maybe you'd want to like buy it and then immediately sell it and it would never be shipped to you it'd be shipped to the person who knew they were buying a stolen thing like like maybe you've got a quarter million dollar machine and you're like and you sell it for 25 000 to some nefarious person who's like some James Bond villain.

Right. You know plenty of them. He brought up James Bond villain. Epstein's. Did you read that article? He's alive, right? He's not alive. He was.

So the official ruling is he had a suicide. But it's all kinds of shady. I hope I don't get the details wrong, but like the people that were watching him to prevent the suicide weren't qualified. They were sleeping. The cameras had recently broken. They put him in a cell by himself

when typically that wouldn't be the case. And there's everything lined up for this guy to kill himself and no one to be there to witness it. Well, it turns out he hanged himself. I think I said that right. He hanged himself. Yeah. In a way that's hard to do.

Anyway, it looks like there's some broken bones in his larynx, which is not consistent with suicide. That's consistent with murder. I remember the day this whole thing broke i tweeted out something like like he obviously didn't kill himself like he's got ties to all the most powerful influential wealthy people on earth and he's got dirt on all of them he's got fucking dossiers in a safe on his fucking rape island like and at the time so many people were like you fucking conspiracy theorists you're so ridiculous you're so crazy it's like the day of people the the fucking coroner report came out and was like yeah this isn't consistent with any kind of self-hanging i've ever seen especially not

in an anti-suicide wing, which means that the clothes are tear apart after about five to 10 pounds of pressure. And so they want to tell you that he tied his breakaway clothes to his bunk bed and then just on his knees leaned forward until he died. I like to imagine that he was wearing like a gummy jumpsuit.

A fruit roll-up jumpsuit. his underwear was made out of smarties you ever see those edible underwear there's just a bunch of smarties i'm reading here dr bain a former new york city medical examiner and a fox news contributor added i have not seen in 50 years where that occurred in a suicidal hanging case. I think that the evidence points to homicide rather than suicide. Yeah, riddle me that. Whenever that news story came out, I was sitting there in the TV room of the prison

with a bunch of prisoners, and I looked at the guy on my right, I was like, what do you think? He's like, they killed that brother. They did. We're all transitioning to brother now yeah yeah i feel like i'd be very free with it transitioning to brother has been a just a watershed moment for this podcast uh what was i gonna say oh oh the epstein conspiracy theory if you want to call it

that is an interesting one to me because it's like this do you believe anything right there's a lot of stuff that lines up with epstein being murdered if you don't buy that one you don't buy anything you know there are guys who were like ah there's 30 000 google employees all keeping a secret about the bias or something and that i don't line up with there are there are conspiracy theories on the other side that are just like obviously true and later came out like getting into vietnam but the epstein one is very plausible it doesn't require 1500 people to collectively keep a secret and there's guys who were really motivated and powerful like it could be stuff like bay of pigs required a lot more than 1500 people to stay, and it did for a while, right?

I don't know the details on Bay of Pigs. That sounds like a while ago. Yeah. Getting away with conspiracy shit would have been so easy before the internet. Yeah. And then, like, seeing how this stuff happens in real time, where they'll be like, oh, the Panama Papers. Oh, pish posh, push that to the side oh the epstein thing oh but did you hear about this thing that happened in north carolina or in west

virginia it's like the media does make the news in that way and when you see how many media moguls are in implicated in something like an epstein thing it's like oh well yeah of course they would push the narrative away there was that thing that came out recently about jeff zucker like the head cnn having calls with his like mainstream hosts and smaller reporters before every day at like 9 30 a.m giving talking points like saying don't talk about this talk about that don't talk about this. Talk about that. And people are like, oh, CNN so corrupt. And it's like, bitch, do you think CNN is the only one doing this? You don't think Fox and MSNBC

and ABC and all of the, you don't think they're all doing the same shit? Of course they are. Of course they're constructing the news. They get to make the news. You guys watch Succession? No. What is that about? the news they get to make the news you know yeah you guys watch uh succession i've never seen what is that about

i assume about the succession to a throne yeah no succession is a show on hbo it's a it's a it's a it's loosely based on rupert murdoch uh he's got a it's it's like a family drama but it's super super super good like the politics and and and the relationship between these family members is insane it's such a good show incredible incredible show um you guys should definitely like give that a watch you'll binge it it's that good i'll check that out yeah i've seen the previews for it looks very interesting it is pumped for the fucking mandalorian man i like i don't even like star wars but this shit looks good oh i watched that I'll have to check that out. Yeah, I've seen the previews for it. It looks very interesting. It is. I'm pumped for the fucking Mandalorian, man. I don't even like Star Wars, but this shit looks good. Oh, I watched that clip after our PKN yesterday, Kyle,

and you couldn't have been more right with Bill Burr having the... Robert... What's his name? The guy from Die Hard. Bruce Willis. Bruce Willis. The Bruce Willis shooting cheeks. Yeah. Where he comes around.

Full cheek. Fucking cool, man. So funny. I'm pretty jazzed about that. No fucking Jedi bullshit. No mythology. No Muppets. I'm into this version of Star Wars.

This section of Star Wars. I'm definitely excited to see it. I hope you're right. I don't know why that would. Normally we're on the opposite of Star Wars, this section of Star Wars. I'm definitely excited to see it. I hope you're right. I don't know why that would... Normally, we're on the opposite of this issue, right? I'm the guy who's like, Han Solo was better than people said, and the other one was especially better

than people said, where they got the plans. I like that it seemed more than most people. Yeah, it's my favorite Star Wars movie. Really? Yeah. Which one is? Rogue One. That is the third most rogue one that is the one yeah

yeah i think a lot of people didn't like rogue one as much as i did i liked it that that robot was heartwarming and uh they all fucking die at the end and i'm happy about that because they can't make a goddamn sequel now at least not with those fucking people. No. They're all dead. Good. Is that the one with the new Lady Jedi? No, no. Well, it's its own separate thing. The Lady Jedi is like its own trilogy, but this Rogue One thing was sort of a prequel to, it sort of fits right in the middle of the original trilogy.

It's a movie all, it's the, it's a movie all about them getting and stealing the plans for the death star that are then used by the rebels to destroy the death star. But one where Luke Skywalker takes out that first desk, first I started, you're all clear kid. And he shoots, it was the plans they used to get that. Or it may have even been,

go ahead. I was going to say, did you ever end up watching the watchman show you were talking about yesterday um i'm gonna wait till it's all out but i'll tell you like i'm seeing those mixed reviews and it's really turning me off like the fact that it's so unpopular that hbo has switched from calling it a series to a mini series and uh that one reviewer that that was complaining that that it was like it was it was super woke or whatever and it's just like I'm kind of turned off by some of the

reviews I've read. Me too. But sometimes I see stuff like that I remember Star Wars in this regard I think I like The Watchmen more than most people like it. It's one of my favorite superhero movies. I really like that. So even if most people think this is a 5 out of 10 maybe it's a 7 out of

10 to me even when i saw the watchman movie the only character who i thought was super sick was rorschach rorschach's cool the owl guy boring he's good dude a woman oh yeah the comedian was funny but i don't think he was around for that much right now you get to see flashbacks of him but he's he's the character who dies right at the very beginning of the movie but then you get plenty of flashbacks of him and nom and his nice like penthouse and that big fight yeah that was cool i was into all of them dr manhattan right dr manhattan so ridiculously powerful and he i'm mixing this up does he exist in all times at the same time and considers like everyone

on earth just to be a blink of nothingness and See, that's why I didn't like him. It's hard for him to even get into Earth problems in the same way that it's hard for him to get into Ant Hill problems. I dislike him the same reason I dislike Superman. Or is Wonder Woman the same as Superman? No. Not quite. It provided an interesting meta to me

because they had to be like, come on, Doc Manhattan like would you please care you could snap your fingers and solve this giant problem in my world but for you it's a small thing and he's like i don't know i'm kind of here chilling on mars doing fuck all and like that made dr manhattan interesting to me it wasn't a question of how powerful it was it was a question whether or not you could get him to be interested there was that other guy who was so fast he could beat all the normal people and he was so smart and then you know how smart is he compared to dr manhattan i liked it i liked the dynamic i like the way there's a problem when you have a powerful superhero right superman is a problem it's hard to

write around him when superman and batman are both going after the joker or something superman doesn't give a fuck you could laser beam i am from across the city. It's not a big deal. So how do you deal with the power imbalances? They dealt with it by making Dr. Manhattan indifferent to your problems. And I liked it.

I liked Watchmen. It seems like more than most people did. No, yeah. I'm into it as well. You know, I like it a lot. I really enjoyed the movie. It was very dark.

You know, it's a very, it's a Zack Snyder movie. It's very dark. It's a Zack Snyder movie. It's really dark. There's fucking rape in there. There's at least a couple of rapes. One of the main characters is a child of rape, right? Yeah, absolutely she is. And I love the fucking suit she wears. That fucking latex, yellow and black deal.

That's fucking cool. It's good, but she's pretty fat. You'll have to remind me and walk me through the scene because I haven't seen the Watchmen movie since almost it came out. But when they're in the prison and Rorschach gets locked in there... I hope you're kidding.

No, no, no. He's talking to me about her being pretty fat. I hope he's kidding about the fucking Scarlet Witch or whatever her name is being fucking pretty fat. Yeah, I'm looking. I'm going to look right now. Are you kidding me? What's her name again?

It's not Scarlet Witch. That's Marvel. Chick from Watchmen. The green goblin. She's... I don't know. Her name... I can't find it. Watchmen, here we go uh cast cast cast yeah uh okay uh her name is malin ackerman uh laurie jupiter silk specter 2 so this is the

same girl that is the wife of Axelrod, Bobby Axelrod in Billions. Have you guys watched that show? I've watched a little bit of Billions, but my, what is it, Stars Showtime trial ran out, and it wasn't good enough to renew it. Yeah. She's so fucking hot. I'm looking at her right now, Sally Jupiter.

Sally Jupiter. But what was that scene scene i don't remember what happened but it ended up with rorschach in a prison fucking with people and then some mob bosses henchmen got his hand trapped and handcuffed around a thing and he's like don't know don't do it and he's like we gotta get out anyway and they just saw his fucking arms off and he died. Yeah. That was sick. So like they were trying to get into Rorschach's prison cell and they had like one of those big industrial saws. It has like the blade that's for like stone and steel. And like one of the he goads one of the henchmen into like reaching in for for him through the bars and he like grabs his hands and like ties them together or something so now to get

through the bars you have to go through his hands and and the guy's like sorry and he just cuts the guy's fucking arms off right there yeah that's a i love that the boss was a little person too and like yeah that was when he gets out very progressive no mercy for the little person he literally murders the little person like like as soon as he gets out i have a thing she was not pre-fat first of all she was hotter than i remembered second it's been a while so you could look her up and a current pictures of her not fat good for her i'm proud of her yeah super fucking hot super fucking hot yeah um good movie i i liked it a lot i wished that it had caught on maybe if it came out like 10 years later like in the in the in the heart of this whole superhero thing in the same way that a movie like deadpool like like was was the sort of this anti-superhero movie that could have had its own niche.

And it was R-rated. R-rated, which we all love. More R-rated movies. Up until the Joker came around. Well, that was Deadpool. Deadpool 2, yeah. Yeah, Deadpool. Yeah, yeah.

Good stuff, man. Deadpool 2 beat Deadpool by like a million or two, which activates Woody's conspiracy theory senses. Did you just artificially top the first one? Maybe. I mean, there's a lot of shady shit that goes on in showbiz. I really like the Brad Pitt was in that movie for like two frames. He was the invisible man or whatever.

He hits that high voltage wire and you're like, that's Brad Pitt and he's dead. I didn't even know. I found it out on the internet later. Oh, you didn't recognize Brad Pitt? You just see him for a frame or two. Yeah, it's like he's on there

for a 24th of a second. I got a real laugh out of that when I saw it. It's almost like a Fight Club-esque flash. Yeah, it's good. I'm sure in the next Deadpool movie, they'll probably pay homage to the Joker with the dancing down the stairs scene that's been popularized so much.

Oh, have you heard about that staircase that's in Queens or whatever? Yeah, and everybody there now is like, stop visiting the Joker staircase because there are so like, stop visiting the Joker staircase because there are so many people going to the Joker staircase where he, you know, does... Well, it's in the previews. Yeah, everybody's dancing down the stairs.

Dancing down the stairs and everything. And it's such a great scene in the movie when you have the context of it. All right, man, thank you. Appreciate that. I didn't know... If you guys want to say that Brad Pitt was in Deadpool 2, and I've seen Deadpool 2 twice,

I wouldn't have noticed that. I just looked it up. That's crazy. Yeah, he's in there for like, literally like three or four frames. Like he hits those high voltage wires. Yeah, I just saw it. You see him and then he's gone. Yeah, it was really funny. That's some wild ass shit. What's a really great movie that's about to come out? The Irishman

that's coming out on Netflix. Other than The Irishman. I think we're all on board with The Irishman. That looks fucking sick. I just looked up upcoming movies, and I don't know any of these. There's another Charlie's Angels coming out. Who gives a fuck?

The original Charlie's Angels nailed it. I don't need to see anything else. Doctor Sleep's coming out. That's the sequel to The Shining with Ewan McGregor. Big fan of him. Wow. I think that might actually be pretty good.

Another Star Wars movie. The final of this current trilogy is coming out. I think a movie that's going to be pretty impressive is the Mr. Rogers movie with your boy Forrest Gump playing. No, too violent.

Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. Too violent. Another Jumanji's coming out. I don't know if you like those, but I think they're quite good. I fucking love Jumanji. Those plants that grow into the building,

like where the vines, that part of the game, that scared the shit out of me as a kid. I like the newer jumanji more probably yeah oh i expected to get pushback on that oh no no the new jumanji is like like killer you got kevin hart and the rock and that hot redheaded chick and uh jack black it's it's great oh it is yeah it really was a great movie i that was one that i got talked into like i think it was my girlfriend he was like let's watch jumanji

and i'm like no this is gonna suck it doesn't even have fucking robin williams in it because he killed himself and it turns out fucking great yeah yeah i don't think i'd have watched it if i didn't have a kid i've got kids but only once you know at home and watching movies with me and uh i'm glad i did it was good there's's something about Kevin Hart that anything I see him in, I just love him. I love Kevin Hart. He's that type of person, that type of human. I don't think that I would watch or that I would purposely miss so many movies in theaters

if I didn't travel so much. I like to watch it on my iPad when I can be super just focused on that and no cell because I won't get wi-fi until i really am done with all my in-flight entertainment which i personally take care of i don't wait for the little tv thing i bring my own ipad i download uh movie there's a drama uh there's a drama show uh on netflix right now it going i don't know the name of it it's insane it's in spanish oh it's in spanish i wouldn't know i don't know the name of it it's insane it's in spanish oh it's in

spanish i wouldn't know i don't speak spanish no but it's got subtitles bro that i'm not about to i'm not about to read what if i accidentally get smarter by reading all that no but have you thought of that there's there's incredible what if i learned to spell something just there's a crazy ass show it's it's a it's a detective detective show you're not thinking of Heist or The Heist or something it's like a Roman like spy it's in

Italian but you can read the subtitles and it's an incredible show you gotta watch all shows I mean subtitles, language aside it's beautiful storytelling. I've got enough Telemundo on the inside. It's all English for me now. Telemundo.

Didn't occur to me until just now. I also have a Clark Kent costume. Oh, look at that. Those aren't just reading glasses, folks. It's still me. Don't get scared. I have an answer for Kyle that's almost right.

He asked what's coming out, I think, that he's excited about. It's out now. I think it's new, but Double Tap 2, Zombieland Double Tap 2 with Woody Harrelson. Yeah. The fact that I haven't heard anything about that makes me think it's not that good because zombie land was such a huge hit you know and i loved zombie land one right the whole uh bill murray cameo was so fucking funny i love it was done so well yeah i like the rules all that and the like when i heard zombie land 2 oh they're gonna do another one oh

that's neat like i'm not into it enough to follow it, but I'll go see it. And then feels like, you know, just tumbleweeds. And it's like, eh, that kind of is,

might be indicative of something. I have the same vibe on it and the same concern, but I, I liked the first one enough. It's carrying interest for me. I, I'll at least watch it when it's on some streaming platform oh yeah I'll give it a go

I'm right now just dreading at how much they're gonna ruin the new Lord of the Rings series come on man it's gonna be killer then you get Ian McKellen in there and you'll be fucking jerking off to that shit I fucking hope so because I love Ian McKellen yeah the Game of Thrones

prequels just got twisted up. Like I read the thing. Good. They canceled it and I'm like, okay, good, fuck it. And then they announced another one the same day with a new star. Like they're just kicking it over again. Well, see, they had like four different potential projects in the works, like four whole different completely separate teams are doing four whole separate like ideas for the

thing. And like, one of them was like the, the one that was leading, they were like, no, not you. And so like number two, like they're like, ah, this one though. You know, I think that's what happened. Do you remember any details about like, I think Naomi Watts was the star of it or something like that that's all i remember that too okay it because um the thing i read which i didn't commit to memory was like this plot line was canceled and this plot line they're going with and i thought you might know it no i don't know and i don't want to know as long as dnd aren't involved i i'm down

you know that's an interesting universe. I hope it's a prequel way in the past and get away. I'd like to still see some familiar houses and maybe if you're really familiar with the lore, you might recognize a character's name. I've got that you may too, the big Game of

Thrones book that has the houses going back 10 generations and all that stuff. That might be interesting, but I'm not going to hold my breath that came from one human one human invented like all of this Tolkien went

Tolkien is 10 times the writer that he was Tolkien yeah Tolkien invented fucking languages for all of his different races and then each different race has a family tree that's absurdly long. And there's a whole mythology, a whole religion. There's an afterlife. There's gods and angels, at least the equivalents of them, and demons.

He was a true autist. A true autist. He was very artistic. That guy must have been vaccinated so much did you hear like how much trouble he had with his family in later years where his wife and kids would be like just please come down for thanksgiving he's like i'm fucking i'm writing dwarvish is that your eighth polio vaccine this week i was like there's no way they're talking about gert martin if there's one thing i know about it i know two things about him one he doesn't write that much two he's not missing

thanksgiving those are the two things i know about that guy no only jerry absolutely not thanksgiving yeah who wait who missed thanksgiving tolkien tolkien like if you like you know tolkien the guy the writer of lord of the rings went basically borderline insane for a while because he was so into the world he was creating he they would like like you have to go to this thing like you're giving a speech you're a popular writer do that no no i'm writing elvish yeah constructing elvish as a language so i can write dumb poems in elvish and put it in my book that people a hundred years from now will see and then skip by. So they get back to the story.

And yeah, so he was, he constructed a magnificent world. He just didn't master the being good at writing aspect of it. I'm being good at being compelling in his writing, keeping you engaged because he didn't do well with that. He would create a wondrous world with a hundred multifaceted places you could go with it and he would flesh out each of those multifaceted areas and then he would describe a battle and be

like and then they've charged in and won it's like you fucking asshole could you just spend more time on that i'm so itchy are you putting your nose with a floss yeah so if i so the the makeup is is wet um because it's this grease paint and if i touch it like like it's it gets all over me like you can probably see like my fingers have a little bit of red here and there so i'm using like this little toothpick thing every time i get a little itch inside my nose or somewhere to like carefully like scratch it so they don't like get it on me and or ruin the makeup well how long how long do you plan on having this on for about 30 more minutes 45 but yeah yeah um a couple couple of mma things that i thought were interesting one um they're targeting conor

mcgregor versus cowboy serrani uh for first quarter next year january 12th or something like that it is not a done deal but it's being worked on aggressively and and both parties seem to be on board if they can make the money right and the other thing at masvidal's like media day that's like happened today he had two fans get on stage and fight he loved them up would they look like the old kimball slice uh he had him fight. He blowed him up. The old Kimbo Slice. He had him go body blows only with fucking MMA gloves. Did they look trained to you?

They weren't completely inept. It's on the RMMA. There's a clip of it. I'll link it. It's on Ariel Hawani's Twitter. I kind of like that. Yeah, link it. It's on Ariel Hawani's Twitter, but I'll just link the whole thing. I kind of like that.

Especially body blows only. Dude, body blows are not fun. They're awful. Nobody's getting hurt. Yeah. Nobody's bleeding. Right? They only bleed on the inside.

Let's see. Oh, this is hilarious. Good for them. Are you guys ready to play it? Yeah, I'll watch it. I'm at zero. Ready, set... I'm ready. Ready, set, play. Still reaching.

They cut the knee to the face. Wow, it really changes the game when you're... No one will face punch you. These guys are just all body protection. No, top comment. UFC lawyers sweating watching this. You got a nice hook in there. The left.

White shirt. Great, yeah. He got him in the ribs. That's incredibly painful. When did you guys start watching MMA? You know, I really got, I think the thing that really got me into it is I went to Woody's house about 2013

or 2012 and we watched a pay-per-view event with Jon Jones versus Chael Sonnen and the co-main event, I think, or at least on the card at least, was Big Country Nelson fighting a very fit guy. Big Country won that night, KO'd the guy,

and Jon Jones beat the shit out of Chael Sonnen. But I didn't know, and I think everyone knew that Chael was going to lose that fight going in, but still, Chael talked so much shit that somebody who didn't know anything about it at all, like myself, I was like, like well he's talking a lot of shit he must think he can whoop him like i mean that black guy is kind of skinny and chale looks fit and you know and chale's got a good sense of humor you know he's talking about you know i'll butcher it but you know it's like oh yeah i came from a rough town it was rough one time i saw a guy just spit his gum out right on the sidewalk. You wouldn't believe it. Rough town.

Rough town. It was real funny to listen to. It goes on. Guy jaywalks in broad daylight. Everybody saw it. Nobody said a thing. I've been into it for a while. Before YouTube, so maybe 15 years.

1993 for me. Oh, I watched that. The first stuff? That's a a ufc one i got into it at ufc one i had just gotten to the united states and my cousin was a taekwondo black belt or whatever and he was super into martial arts and shit and he grabbed it he's like yo look at these grown-ass dudes are fighting with like no gloves no rules, heavyweights versus lightweights. It's crazy. That was like the Tank Abbott era.

Yeah. Well, Tank Abbott was even a little after that. Yeah, way after. I had a coworker who was into it and got me into it back in those days, the early 90s. And then I kind of fell out of watching it when the UFC nearly went under and then I got back into it.

Yeah. And now it's shit. It's every weekend. I think it's it. And now it's shit. It's every weekend. I think it's huge now. It's not bad. It's so bad. It's as bad as Counter-Strike. Counter-Strike has a tournament every weekend.

I haven't been as interested in UFC now as I had up until, call it three years ago, before they went to FS1. I think it's very dynamic right now there are some big stories going on right now especially at lightweight you know 155 you know you've got khabib nerverga met off just dominating just undefeated squashing everybody just whooped the shit out of poirier made a boring fight and and and i think it says a lot about khabib that he can make poirier boring, you know? And now Tony Khabib is targeted, hopefully soon.

And then you got Conor sitting out there slapping people and having sexual assault charges against him. Or did he beat him? He submitted him, I thought. Submitted him? I forgot already. Submitted or TKO or something like that. Okay. But Tony never lost his fucking light heavyweight belt. You know,

they just took it away from him cause he blew out his knee and Tony is a bad motherfucker. You know, I want to see that fight so bad. And then at one 45, you got Max Holloway, just the baddest man on the planet at that way. And then you got fucking triple C down there.

Henry Cejudo, the king of cringe trying to take on three fucking belts at once and a gold medal it's it's pretty interesting plus not not not to mention what's going on light heavyweight and heavyweight with cormier losing his belt which i i kind of thought he might because i felt his first win was was kind of a fluke there but then you got john jones sitting down there light heavyweight trying to decide what he's gonna do next because he's clean light heavyweight out yeah he's got to go up to heavyweight he's got to go because he's cleaned light heavyweight out there's there's it's almost like johnny walker or whoever it was right do you remember at 125 you got demetrius johnson who's

undeniably the best that's how it still is and yeah i think you got you could argue that. You've got Cejudo, who's absolutely the best. And the number one contender, Cejudo's already beat him once, and nobody watched that fight. And it seemed like no one else could get interesting at 125 because there was a gap. That's how 205 feels now. But on the other hand, Jon Jones looking more beatable than ever.

I think he's had one knockout win in his last seven fights, like one finish. The rest, he's just the decisionator nowadays. USADA came in and he doesn't take people down anymore. Like he's still winning. And it's like he's better than everyone else. So it's hard to talk shit about him. But it's not like before.

He was a scary motherfucker 10 fights ago. I agree with 80% of that. But the problem is nobody can beat him at that weight. He's still just the best in the world at 205 pounds. Cormier knows he's going to get his lunch money taken a third fucking time if he tries to fight John at 205. Probably. Cormier is older than me at this point.

Somehow he passed me. At this point, he's surpassed me. I like Cormier as a man. I hate him as a fighter. I admire him as a man, as a father, as a family man, as a professional athlete. I like the way he carries himself. I like the way he conducts himself. But I don't like him as a fighter.

He's a nice guy. He should be a nice guy. But he comes in there making that pouty face like he's a nice guy. He should be a nice guy, but he comes in there making that pouty face like he's a bad ass. I'm mean. I'm all mad when I come in. Is this a resting pouty face he has? Or is he trying to put something on? He smiles most of the time.

I can't do it with the makeup. It's not translating. I'm just happy no matter what. Kyle is right. In fight, he does this mean much. But you're always smiling. Yeah, I think UFC is super interesting right now. But to Hex's point, I think that I invest a lot of time. I go to the MMA subreddit, and I read stuff.

I feel like I'm a top 5% fan or something like that in terms of how much I pay attention to it. And there are still a lot of fights much i pay attention to it and there are still a lot of fights that aren't interesting to me you know agreed if it's not a pay-per-view card probably half the fights like it's like god i'm gonna learn about a new fighter i'm not a fan of the sport of mixed martial arts as much as i am a fan of specific individuals same you know i think that there are some people who watch football on sunday and they're like you could ask them hey who's playing they're like does it matter you know i'm watching football that's not me for mixed martial arts for me it's like fucking packers

are playing bro i'm here for them i don't care about the jets game i don't care about the falcons i mean i'm i'm a fan of maybe 10 different, and if any of those 10 or 12 are fighting, I'm 100% on board and I'll buy your pay-per-view. There's several female fighters that I'm a huge fan of. If Amanda Nunez, Joanna Janjacek, Rose Namajunas. Shevchenko? Shevchenko is my favorite. I'm surprised she's not on your list.

I know you like her. I think the bullet is the baddest girl out there, no matter what. Shevchenko is my favorite. Yeah, I'm surprised. Have Shevchenko on your list. I know you like her. I think the bullet is the baddest girl out there, no matter what. Shevchenko. Yeah. I think she can beat Nunez at either way. I need to see that rematch again. I thought she won the last time they fought. It was a close decision, and I thought she won.

And I don't remember if it was a split decision, but it was definitely close, and I had her winning that fight i thought i thought she had done more damage and she had been more i remember i remember being as not i remember being able to talk about ufc the way that you guys have been talking about ufc maybe three years ago four tops but ever since then i only watch like the the the main characters i lose i used to watch every from the ultimate fighter i was a massive mess but i've always been a ufc fan and the ultimate fighter like i thought that was an incredible show but little by little it became like just way too much like i don't have time to really enjoy like holy shit i think there's been

some turnover at the champ level too like i when's the last time someone defended the 185 belt chris weidman i think the last guy that defended it you could argue whittaker but y'all didn't make weight so it doesn't like even even that even that fight with weidman like if if dude uh don't you dare say if he didn't clown, he would have won. Yeah. No, you're so wrong. He was. Weidman beats the fuck out of Silva 10 times out of 10. If you watch the first fight again, you can't find six seconds in a row where Silva looks good.

Weidman beat the fuck out of him. And then Silva starts clowning as a way to get Weidman to make bad moves. He doesn't, and he knocks him the fuck out. Nothing went Silva's way in that first fight. And then they had a rematch. Same thing. Everything went the way Weidman wanted it to until Silva broke his leg on Weidman's knee,

which, by the way, was something they trained. If there's one thing in the first fight Silva was successful with, it was lower leg kicks. So they went in and they trained it and trained it. They had a name for it, too, like the exterminator. I forget what it was. And he went in there and he figured out, like, if this is how I, if I don't just check kicks, I counter punch back at his own kick.

And he broke Silva's leg. I saw that clip yesterday. It's hard to watch. Yeah, I watched that. I haven't. There's like a montage. there's like a month there's like a montage where his leg like breaks and it kind of bends around it's an extra it like bends around they're kicking so hard so much force in that bone he see if he trained with tony ferguson

that leg would have been strong tony ferguson kicks pipes and shit weidman's leg would have exploded ferguson believes that if you kick metal pipes your bones get stronger i'm not sure i disagree i feel like it just sounds crazy to me it doesn't work i mean kickboxers have been punt kicking bamboo yeah yeah they do that to kill the nerves in their shins so they don't feel the pain when they're beating each other to death they can't be hit you harden wood that way i mean is that relevant i'm not sure next you're gonna see him using fire to like fire pain when they're beating each other to death. Can't you harden wood that way? I mean, is that relevant? I'm not sure. Next you're going to see him using fire to like fire harden wood by kicking it.

No, no. Don't you compress it? Like baseball bats are not just raw trees, right? Don't they do a thing? Am I crazy? I don't think they do a thing. Mr. Carpenter. Kyle's Mr. Baseball. Yeah, they don't think they do it then. Mr. Carpenter. Kyle's Mr. Baseball. I've been to the Louisville Slugger plant

before. They just put it on a lathe and that's the end of it. It doesn't get treated. Tell us more about the Louisville Slugger plant. There are a lot of whores outside of it. I'll tell you that. A lot of brothers of the night. Another thing that should be legalized

it should be yeah i mean think about all the think about all of the of all of the all of the introverts introverted males that are out there that just won't get out there enough to be able to release i'm really torn on legalizing the incels yeah i didn't want to say it but yeah think about that so on one hand if you view like prostitutes as these like almost therapy workers providing a service like so many others to people in need of that service then why would you make that illegal right i see that line of thinking that you know i don't want that kind of prostitute i want the one with dead eyes i'm right with you but i don't want to kind of prostitute i want the one with dead eyes i'm right with you but i don't want to give them the credit of being a therapy worker still whores well i'm not gonna

kink shame but but let's just say that these people are selling something these people need there's no victims involved everything's cool but the thing is oh there'll be a victim i think there are victims involved i think a lot of times at at least maybe there wouldn't be if it was legal. I don't know. But if you make this and you take it mainstream, are you going to have a lot of women in a bad position because of it? That's the concern. It's a possibility.

Yeah, of course. They're okay with that because they're just girls. Good positions, bad positions, whatever I want. I mean, the debate really comes down to, are women people? The way we are. Another sponsor gone. Yeah. Well, you won me over. I'm not sure if they're people yeah no i'm uh i'm definitely informed comment from a retard there certainly should be legalized

prostitution um i i think when you whenever you regulate something um you you bring a lot more safety to the people who do it you know if logging were an illegal thing where they were just wild men out there running chainsaws and working 18 hour shifts, like, but no, it's a regulated thing with, with companies and industry involved. And they're like,

no, no, no. You trucking or anything like that. Like, like, like if you had legalized prostitution, you would have a corporation that was running prostitutes and they would be

doing STD testing. You know, there would be a stamp of approval on youritutes and they would be doing std testing you know there would be a stamp of approval on your whorehouse and be like yeah all of these girls have been i think we would brand them yeah a brand of approval a brand of approval it would be like any burgeoning industry where there's a bunch of different you know kind of locales and places you can go to get your prostitute needs serviced and then eventually it will all be taken over by the more successful model and will just be whore mart kind of locales and places you can go to get your prostitute needs serviced. And then eventually, it will all be taken over by the more successful model and it'll just be whore mart. And it'll be everywhere.

Not whore mart though. I want an online model. Whore-mazon. Yeah. Post whores. Give me a minute. Proob whore. Something like that.

Go easy on the pubic hair to each his own yeah they I think that would that would definitely be a it would be better for the women involved it would be safer for the men involved all the way around every bit of it would be better and just like legalizing marijuana all of a sudden

all those vice cops could go and look for the chomos. And they could go after child pornography people. They could go after actual vice crimes. Not just women trying to make money and men trying to find some sort of love.

Alright, come on. Let's not be crass here when we talk about legalizing prostitution. Don't bring down the sophistication level of this show. I thought I was contributing. I like this suit. This is all right. Yeah. Dude, your shoulders look broad.

Your face looks silly. Your ass looks good. You've smoked a lot of cigarettes. There's a lot. I've got a real fucking buzz going on. I was talking about it the other day. I think I'm going to take up just full-time smoking because you look so cool doing it.

You do. And I, look. What brand are those? These are marvelous. Those ones are. When I got myself packed this afternoon, I asked Chiz, I was like, should I go full bore, smoke the smokes?

He's like, you've got to go full bore and smoke the smokes? He's like, you gotta go full bore and smoke the smokes. Yeah, I don't see what could go wrong. With this cool-ass old-school lighter, that's what you need. Hell yeah, I love my lighter. Oh, very cool. It's like $15 on Amazon. I was willing to pay so,

so, so much more for one of these antique lighters, and I found it on there. But yeah, yeah. Prostitution should definitely definitely be legal it's just better for everyone involved for all the reasons we just said getting those vice cops actually solving vice crimes which is a very important law enforcement duty um there are plenty of men out there who might not do bad things if they had that outlet i'm not just talking about sex crimes i think there's a lot of people out there who snap and and go on these rampages that we're always talking about look i i i know i'm sure that there are some of these nut jobs that go out and and kill people and go on rampages and if they could just have some sex once a week there are they probably be

all right in particular. There are serial killers who do that sort of thing. They hate women. See, now I'm not a psychiatrist or anything. Maybe Taylor could let me. I can pretend to be. Yes, please. Cliff Hutchinson might be able to step in on this one.

That's a whole different psychosis that's going on there. Those people who hate women, you don't want them in your whorehouse anywhere they're gonna be paying to to do horrible things anyway i feel like most of those guys who just like fucking hate women yeah as soon as they bust a nut and they get laid they're like you know what women aren't too bad like i feel like most of them come around some i'm interested in because people always talk about shit that's illegal that should be legal okay what's something that is legal that should definitely be illegal maybe tobacco alcohol shut the fuck up my mistake i was just thinking it's worse than weed and it's addictive no no all right mistakes were made. I'm sorry.

It would really get me out of drinking episodes. Tobacco and alcohol, definite no-goes because they're cool. We've tried to do alcohol before. Can I just take that back? Things that are legal that should not be.

I don't have something in mind. I was just curious if you guys had an idea. Can I say sugar? Corn syrup corn syrup fuck that's a good one actually like fattening shit that they don't tell you what's the one is it trans fats that became like public enemy number one for a while trans fats like it's almost hard to find consumer products now that have a bunch of trans fats in them because there's such a bad association with it. Like, most people don't want trans fats in anything. Which, that kind of almost solved itself. But even so, I think like

Velveeta and shit, I think that has a bunch of trans fats. All those processed cheeses that aren't really cheeses. Can't wait for things to come in. Things that should be illegal. Ah, how about, um um this kind of fits the bill i think that the cap that capital punishment which is legal in many states should not be legal i don't think it prevents any crimes softy no i'm totally on board with i just don't think

killing people solves anything other than than making our legal system much more costly i i feel it you know it it's just i was so much more expensive voting i mean yeah i mean given given giving the giving the super criminals a way out like death i i agree they should be punished more harshly you know tortured well no it's not even necessarily that they need to be punished harsher than death it's more the thing that i don't trust the government to do a thorough enough job to make sure a hundred million percent that they're guilty and worthy of death because how many stories can you look up online now of where it's like, oh yeah, Steve

Willickson in 1971 was convicted of raping two girls, and they put him to death. And then they found out when DNA was kind of sorted that he didn't do it. And then there's the John Coffey case. Are you familiar with that? I'm familiar with the John Coffey case, yes. That was a very similar situation

where he was convicted of raping and murdering two girls. But I would be in favor of killing Percy. From the Green Mile? That is from the Green Mile. Yeah, death penalty. That's a real good one. I'm totally on board with that. I'm anti-death penalty.

I like the death penalty. We just need to make it cheaper. That's the area of improvement I want. Well, it's not the death penalty that needs to be cheaper. It's just all the litigation and shit that they can apply for. The process. You can't have both, Taylor. You've got to both be sure

and you've got to make it cheaper. Just do away with the whole thing and we solve the problem. It seems like sometimes be sure is sure. Get real video proof. Things like that. Video proof for sure. What if it's a deep fake? video proof things like that like oh video proof for sure like like what if they just fake

what if it's yeah deep fake i just don't know that's a good point like right now i think i see through deep fakes but that's right now right i saw tom selick and indiana jones the other day on reddit and i was convinced all right yeah you know i thought i was in an alternate dimension were you literally convinced or no it looked really good oh okay i've seen some that look pretty good yeah but not fooled but again it's 2019 take this to 2026 and made them fully fooled and those deep fakes are being made by reddit users not by a foreign government trying to like lock you up or like some government entity not the CIA trying to

silence you or whatever I mean if you look at Bill Hatter's impressions on YouTube it's crazy dude it's very good super good yeah I don't believe in the death penalty I don't think it solves a damn thing it just costs

the taxpayers a whole lot more life in prison is a horrible punishment but i i i did 56 fucking days in a camp and i'm telling you it i felt severely punished i can't imagine what it's like to be in an actual real prison for years upon years upon years. It's a terrible punishment. And the prospect that I would almost look at the death penalty as a light at the end of the tunnel if I'm a prisoner. It's like, well, shit, at least this is

going to be over in 10 years. You don't think some people deserve to be and be punished that harshly for life? They definitely deserve to. Some people, that's not even the issue life they just they definitely deserve to some people that's not even the issue that i see i think that some people need to be removed from society and that they shouldn't that i feel like it's almost it's less about punishing them at some point and more about preserving us you know there are some people who are just so demented or so evil there i guess that's

the right word it doesn't it doesn't get tossed around too much anymore we think of it as a comic book word but there are evil people and they should be locked away forever or it just separated from society i'd be okay with some sort of an island that we put these people on and televise that shit to help fund it but as long as they're not walking around the streets with me now you were in a minimum security place but did you feel like there was evil there like the kind of person you're thinking not so much okay no definitely is double parking illegal or just frowned upon illegal i think it's illegal yeah okay well i was just trying trying yeah it's hard to think of something

that should be illegal that's why I asked because it seems hard I couldn't think of anything oh wait I'm thinking of something talking in theaters talking in theaters I think should be like a fucking traffic ticket like I wish that that were

so I wish that that were policed I wish there was a dude in there in the back watching. Bringing a baby to a movie because you can't find a babysitter. Do not do that. Don't do that. I literally hate. It's the biggest thing when I go to movies. If I see someone and I hear that little baby crying, those parents deserve to not be there.

Literally, you can't find a babysitter, don't come to the theater. Don't ruin it for 100 plus people because you can't find a babysitter. I'll even cut them a little slack if they're giving it full effort. If your baby starts to fuss and you say,

oh, well I need to remove my baby and I from here. Bam. And then 30 seconds later, you're whatever on the other side of the door trying to get it to stop crying i'll let that go you know like i'm okay with that like you did that's a full it's the parents that are just like oh don't worry she'll cry herself out no i'm worried get your fucking kid out of here oh i don't i don't like either if i'm going to see fucking the joker movie which is rated r and someone trots in with their

one or two year old who's going to be throwing fits or at the very least like throwing popcorn and shit around like they should they should be in jail i'm extending it to like or life restaurants and such too right if your kid's annoying then like do something about your kid immediately like that's an emergency situation don't just expect all of us to tolerate it too. Yeah. Here's a good one. Something that's not illegal that should. And this does not apply to all the,

the UK and, and, and Europe people who are like, uh, but I, I bike everywhere. That's how I get around. I just bike everywhere.

No, I live in fucking Missouri. And if you bike on the roads here, on wood roads, and it causes traffic. What's a wood road? A road through a wooded area. It's up and down and back and forth. And there's a place I drive through often that is wooded. Up and down, back and forth you know it's a erratic road and there will be bikers on this shit and it's to the point that like it's not like

it's it's a the the dotted yellow line or dotted white line whatever that you can go around and circle around them it's like it's too erratic for You can't. And so there have been times I've been stuck in an extra 10, 15 minutes of traffic on these roads because there is one or two bikers at the front slowing down an enormous procession of people trying to get through. Those people should be put in jail. Are they taking more road than they have to? No, no, no. But it's a two-lane road through a wooded area i follow but if they're you know who else they're on that tiny shoulder you can usually squeeze by no you in these situations you cannot if you want to squeeze by them because the road is so erratic you risk

getting clipped by an oncoming car that you didn't previously see or you risk accidentally hitting them and then yourself going to jail for some sort of recklessness and that's why I fucking hate bikers here I don't know what I don't know what the fuck happens in Germany in the UK where they're all close enough that they can do that but here shit is so far

away bikers are the fucking worst you are taking up a whole fucking lane a lot of the time even if you pretend you're onto the side of it you're not really just on the side you're monopolizing the entire area and you're out you're like a toddler you're like a toddler you're outsourcing entire responsibility for your safety onto your surroundings you're just enjoying your bike ride and we have to assume responsibility for your safety and assume the the lack of time

or the time we're going to lose because of this it's fucking bullshit i hate it and so i i'll say midwest biking you can go fuck yourself you should be in jail you should be in a harsher prison than where kyle went to this is you should be where where fucking uh snow came from where the chomos are where the chomos i'm like this guy uh here we go my turn this is who should be in jail the people who don't know how to pull over when there's an ambulance coming the people that decide to stop in the middle of the road on whatever lane they're in because they hear that these are the other people that should go to jail when there is a massive median in the middle with trees and all this shit keep going you don't need to pull over for an oncoming one i hate the people that just everybody pulls over when there's a massive median in the middle of the world rules say this but common sense common

sense says that there is no way that they're going to utilize this side of the fucking road. I understand if it's a five lane road where the middle lane is the median and you can drive on that. But if there's trees and there's a sidewalk on that, no point in doing that. Those people should be in jail today. I'm on Team Hicks here and I'll extend it to school buses. Listen, listen, I get it. You buses listen listen i get it you want to stop you don't want to run down the children i hear you but if there's two lanes this way two lanes that way and some trees in the middle no fucking school bus driver is gonna be like

all right children you're crossing four lanes of traffic in a small wooded area today well good luck getting home that's not how it works keep. You think you're being extra polite by inventing new rules of kindness? You're not. You're just being an asshole to everyone nearby you. At some point, you take your right away because everyone expects you to. If you stop at green lights and wave guys through, you're an asshole in the same way that you're stopping at school buses across medians. Oh, yeah. I'll go a step further.

All the kids on that bus should be in jail. Carry on. Yeah. go a step further. All the kids on that bus should be in jail. Oh, carry on. Yeah. They're complicit. Annoying little pricks. They're complicit. Complicit in their behavior. I have a question actually. This is an AMA from our Patreons.

It says Woody and Taylor, but this is a good hex question too. I got my first job in management. Any professional tips on managing people to give? Details below. Never been in management or the boss of anyone. I've never been a supervisor. Supervisors will answer to me.

I'm 23 and one of the youngest in management. I will answer to the VP of customer service department. All supervisors and managers have known me for years, but only a few of the workers. So this guy appears to be like a manager of supervisors at 23, and he's never been in management before, and he wants tips. It's going to sound gay and dumb,

but the whole treat people like you want to be treated is a great thing to employ as a manager. Manage people the way you would want to be treated is a great thing to employ as a manager. Like the way you would manage people the way you would want to be managed. Picture yourself in whatever situation they're in. And if they truly are fucking up and they need a little bit of a, you know, a little bit of a slap to get themselves back going, do that. But really it comes down to that.

Like be the manager that you wish you had but not if you're the kind of person who's a lazy piece of shit who's like i just want a manager who lets me do nothing like but it seems like this guy if he's this far along in his career at this point he's not a lazy to nothing nonsense kind of guy and so be the manager you would want to have manage you is the advice i'd give x you want to go next or after me i'll go after you my thing i hope i hit this mark i don't know if i always did was about growing people right it like provide opportunities for that guy to get to the next spot as a manager i didn't always want them to be like the best performing for me and lock them up and own their future. No, like the point was for them to outgrow me, to maybe get my job

or to get some other job parallel to mine. The point was for them to learn, to expand, to heck, maybe this job is a stepping stone to the next part of their career. It doesn't even have to involve me. But if you have your people's best interests in mind, then that will circle back around and you'll be a good manager and you'll have a high performing team. You'll get more loyalty from your people's best interests in mind, then that will circle back around and you'll

be a good manager and you'll have a high performing team. You'll get more loyalty from your people if you don't demand loyalty from your people. If you are loyal to your people, that's a better way to say it. If I'm loyal to them and I want them to grow out of this job and into something better, then I'll get a better, I'll have a better team for it. Even though it seems counterintuitive. You know, I like my hair green, too. It is cute. I'll never deny that.

I've never wanted to fuck you more. I mean... The only thing I can say about that is get in the trenches down with them, show them that you're a part of them, and then get them to do whatever it is that they need to do. Be clear on the on the plan

and make sure that everybody's on the same page that's it when when when you are able to do that i mean humans like humans everybody's there to do a job your job is to make sure that the job is getting done and their job is to make sure that the job is getting done, and their job is to make sure that the job gets done, and boom, everybody knows their role. I like your first line in that, which was get down in the trenches with them, because thinking back, every job I've had where I've had a manager, all of my favorites that I actually wanted to work harder for in the end

to make them look good are the ones where, if something was overwhelming with the underlings, like I was a member of they would get down and do it with us and then interesting at cisco that'd be the opposite at cisco if i'm stuck and you do it for me you're almost robbing me of that learning opportunity like it they really stress like hey like you're not moving up if you're still doing your old gig at the same time so just another way to look at it that's all i don't think that it's certainly not wrong to get down in the trenches

with them but they would encourage you to you know empower that guy underneath you to get it done yeah and that could be more industry specific i was meaning more like like you were in a very highly specialized area like if you're being managed by someone and you're doing customer sat they can always dip down and help you to relieve like a super heavy load of that kind of stuff we call those the guys you want to work harder for yeah the guy who helps you swallow a thick chunky load is the guy that you want to work with so i think the most important thing is letting people know when you appreciate what they've done,

like recognizing their labor. If a person just feels like another cog in the machine, that can be kind of shitty. But if you show some appreciation for, recognize what they've done, I think that's important. I would always give Jeremy a big pat on the back when he did something incredibly stupid because we told him to do it

and paid him his $9 an hour. Alright. On that note... I was just saying that. Usually there's a follow-up there. I think my mic got way better as the podcast went on. My voice got way deeper. I can hear me and myself.

You've sounded great the entire time. Thanks, man. Thanks, man. I can't get over fucking Kyle's costume. Imagining him right after we're done just taking those off and having to go wash it all off. Actually, you know what? See how long it lasts.

I'm very excited. I want to see what it looks like on Tuesday. I'm very excited to get in the shower and just close my eyes with a big soapy rag and just scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub. Lots of soap. So much soap. The hair, the spray that I use

has turned my hair to this sort of solid mass. I bet it makes noise. Let me do this. It's crispy. Sounds like the top of a pool table. Yeah, it feels like the top of a pool table. It looks like it. Yeah. I top of a pool table. Yeah, it feels like the top of a pool table. It looks like it. Yeah.

I was so worried because I went to, first I went to a CVS pharmacy. They did not have the spray-on stuff. Then I went to the dollar store. They did not have it. Then I went to Walmart. All they had was seven to ten day hair dye. And I'm looking at it and I'm like, it's going to be an interesting week, I guess.

Then I happened to see a Walmart employee and I was like, hey, do you have that spray on stuff in green? And she's like, no, we don't. But Sally did. And I'm just like, I'm like, what? Sally got it. And I'm like, the salad section? You've got it where the salad is?

And she's like, no, Sally got it. It's right over there. And I'm just like, is it another store? She's like, yeah, Sally. And I'm just like, OK. She's like, right next door. And so I drive out of the Walmart parking lot to an adjoining lot that's

it's over there there's like a game stop and i'm just looking at the the signs i'm like game stop super cuts fucking chinese restaurant sally's sally's cosmetics and i'm like sally's does that is it oh it's's Sally yeah you looking for my man Sally you looking for Sally and sure enough Sally's had a can of this shit left and I was I did not have to dye my hair for a whole fucking seven to ten days but I was gonna

you know how to get it out shampoo the instructions on my can said to brush it out and then shampoo it if I tried to brush this it would pull all the fucking hair out of my head. It is solid. It looks solid. Yeah, it looks.

I am almost positive I should have washed this before I put it on. Because I am so itchy and my face is. My face has left the itchy phase. It's burning a little now. And so I think I'm going to have some sort of thing. This is definitely all made of Chinese asbestos. I thought Superboy was going to be a Superman costume, right? Because I didn't know any better.

Now, you Google it, and this is what it looks like. Yeah, I got a feeling you used a little bit less of the spray than I did. I might have. Did you use an entire can? I don't know. Jackie did it. She held up a paper and like sprayed it around the ears and stuff like that. Yeah, I used an entire can.

This is three different coats because, you know, it's harder to turn brown to green than it is brown to black. I did two coats, but it is it is absolutely crispy it's i mean it's it's it feels like like cum oh i don't even know how to describe it it's it's very it's very we can see it we can see it that's what i like every hair is in place kyle what what I like. Every hair is in place, Kyle. What you do, what you have is exactly what you were going for. It ain't going nowhere. Yeah. Yeah.

It's there. I'm really looking forward to getting it the fuck off, though. I painted my bottom eyelids all the way up to like, maybe if you've seen a lady put on cosmetics, how they do that thing when they do the eyeliner. I put the bottom on like eyeliner. And my hands were super steady today and I was just like oh man I'm good today I got this one of my good days

it's like that that fucking scene from Blazing Saddles where the they're sitting in the jailhouse and he goes you was you was the kid? And he's like I used to be. He's like you see this?

The guy goes yeah steady as a rock. He goes yeah but this is my shooting hand. Yeah. I'd never done anything like this before but I'm glad i did it was it was it was a lot of fun honestly putting the makeup on and seeing it come together i watched a few tutorials on uh on the internet of people who are much more talented than i am because i have no talent at this sort of thing but it's you know it's fairly fucking simple i love our halloween episodes yeah me too

little little costumes i love it like every i've said before every single year i'm like oh this is the year that i'll buy in 70 or 80 costume offline and it won't be chinese asbestos and it always is wait till next year i have big plans okay yes this is your biggest costume yet i think right like probably so. I want to say sometimes you just dive into the archives and pull out a Gumby. Yeah, there was one year where I just dressed as eight different things and it kept changing. Every time I'd get up to piss, I would become a different thing.

But next year, we're definitely going all out. This probably cost me $100, but next year probably is going to cost closer to 750 dollars i have i have a i have a i have a very interesting idea in mind that that i won't forget can't wait till next year i've got so many funny ideas for costumes and you read youtube's terms of service and you're not allowed to do all all of my idea i love that your cock is showing it because because apparently they're like green skin type pants too for this thing yeah it was like like i bought the extra large one and

my thighs are entirely filling it up crotch stomach everything below camera just full to the brim of of me looking fat as fuck yeah this is chinese actually this came from china in like four days i was shocked i don't know how that's possible i mean i would imagine a plane was involved i know how it's possible but usually when i order things from china it's like oh we put it on next boat yeah and it's it's and they send it on like a fucking mayflower style ship it's i don't know and it ends up here in eight weeks i've i've had things arrive from china and i'm like when did i when did i order these commemorative hockey pucks and why i oh i was gonna give them the i'm

throwing these away now do you still have all the the bruins shit that you ordered oh yeah yeah yeah absolutely hex doesn't know uh because you're not a hockey fan at all are you no no no i didn't think so so my team this is my team though the well, then our rival team, the St. Louis Blues, is my team. And we played the Boston Bruins last year in the Stanley Cup. We ended up winning in Game 7 late. Or not late. We won 4-1 in Game 7. But Kyle, knowing how much.

And it's the only sport I care about. And I follow hockey religiously. I don't know anything about basketball, anything about baseball, anything. No, like I don't even know anything about the Cardinals and the Cardinals are huge here. Don't know anything about football, follow hockey religiously. And so I was so excited the whole time last year, like with us making it to the Stanley cup finals and maybe when our franchise has never won before. Been around since 1967. Never won. Never.

And Game 7, Kyle spent hundreds, hundreds of dollars anticipating the Blues losing in Game 7 so he could show up on the next show with decked out he'll have to go into it decked out bruins gear he had he had a sheet cake made that had like haha bruins win on with the bruins emblem he was gonna mail that to my house if the bruins had won and thank fucking god the blues won but yeah you you put i love it it's a lot of money into spite things like three what was it three years ago when the hawks or three four years ago five years ago maybe where the hawks knocked out the blues and i showed up with like 170 dollars a nice ass hoax jersey hoodie being like i love the black hawks

commitment i like my god if like i wouldn't have let on about it so i wouldn't have been bullied by the fans but if we had if the blues had lost game seven and you had gone through with that it would have really upset me i know i know i was talking to i was talking to chiz and a couple other guys i was like we gotta get a sheet cake too i need a sheet cake it's that says ha ha it could only be you or something like that like like the whole thing i was like i was like i gotta have banners and and fucking what are those things called those like triangle things that hang from like a rope. They're gonna be like behind me like pennants or whatever they're

called and just fucking hat and hoodie and maybe even like some fucking face paint like the whole not just everything that you could buy and then they fucking lost and I was like, oh and it was a hundred percent spite based.

If the Blues had lost, even on that episode where he was making fun of me with all that stuff, and I had been like, name one player on the Bruins. I would have been like, I don't fucking know. I don't care. Fuck you. No fucking idea. This is just me in front of you.

No fucking idea. My whole left eye is cloudy and white. You should go get that up man i itch everywhere any um nope just check out all of our wonderful sponsors yeah and check out everywhere you can find mr hex morgan morgan law firm harry's razors blue chew and square space and yeah hex what would you like to direct our wonderful, wonderful, kind, and loving viewers to? If you guys can go follow the at Chicago underscore Cod Twitter account,

that'd be dope. That's it. Do it, boys. Chicago underscore Cod on Twitter. Yeah, at Chicago underscore Cod. And then tweet them wholesome things. Yeah, and please send me the pictures of Woody with a beard, please. Thank you so much for having me, guys.

I do appreciate every single time you guys invite me. Sorry that I couldn't be here last week or the week before that. My life has been in sort of a whirlwind in the last couple of weeks. But now, we good. Fair enough, man. You're a busy guy. Yeah, thanks for coming on. We always enjoy having you.

Thank you. P.K.!