Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #464

Episode Date: November 15, 2019

In this week's PKA, just the boys this week, been a while since we had one of those. They go over Lebron's hair developments, have some big discussions about video games and what they're excited to get into, hopefully, Taylor gets his bloody PC sometime soon; dirty police behavior and Taylor grants all of us with another entry in his bible stories series.

PKA 464. Kyle? A couple of sponsors tonight. Smart Mouth, Casper, and Morgan & Morgan. Because you don't need a cheat code to get full compensation after a car crash or other injury. You need Morgan & Morgan, the personal injury law firm that's for the people, not the powerful. They're a family-owned firm that never represents large corporations. Morgan & Morgan will take on the insurance company so you can focus on getting back to full health.

Morgan & Morgan will take on the insurance company so you can focus on getting back to full health. For all their services, visit forthepeople.com for a free case review. I like the pantomiming from Taylor. Never! They get me amped up

because they're not about corporations. They're about the people. And PKA, that's a podcast of the people from now on. And so, you know, we're really amped up to have Morgan & Morgan on the show. Yeah, I mean, you really do need someone like them if you're in that situation. I've known people that had personal injury issues with car crashes and stuff, and it's a real hassle. But you can get somebody in there to represent you.

You can come out well taken care of and you get compensated appropriately. You know who else has real life cheat codes? T.I. Taylor, why don't you tell us about T.I.? Well, actually, Kyle seemed to have a take that was different than mine. And so you lead off with the story, Kyle, and I'll jump in. Well, it came out that I guess that T.I. has been going to the gynecologist

with his daughter for years now. Hell yeah. And sitting in the office during the exam, and the guy's like, you know, you don't have to be in here with me, T.I. No disrespect. Do they specify if he's staring down the barrel? Right down the barrel.

In the office is the exam room? I assume waiting room all this time. Oh, no, he's in there. He wants to know what's up. And the whole purpose of this, of course, is he wants to know, is his daughter still a virgin? Is her hymen intact? And he's getting the lowdown from the doc.

And I just feel like the whole time in and the doc i just you know the docs under there checking things out this is how you do it by the way and and he gives ti the thumbs up and and ti is like yeah my daughter's still a virgin all right meanwhile she's getting railed in the ass. We all know that, right? I like to think the gynecologist is like, is her butthole normally this loose? Oh, God. I hope the gynecologist doesn't use the phrase butthole. Well, she does appear to be a virgin, but she's shit on the examination.

She might have butthole cancer. I don't know. That's not my specialty. It looked like a rubber glove after you done take it off. What did Borat say? It looks like a wizard's sleeve. Yeah. I was going to put T.I. in cool guy of the week category for this.

Until I found out that he brags on his son for getting laid and his son's only 15. Cool guy of the year. Where are you headed with this? I was going to say that now it's sexist. If he got his son's penis scent analysis analyzed

to make sure that he's going to get it. Look for a girl on it. Then it would be cool. I'm not down for treating men and women differently. So that knocks you off the list. Women and women are exactly the same. Yeah. That's why they should be able to fight against each other in the UFC. Clearly.

That's my new opinion of the whole trans fighter thing. Is that they don't need their own league. One step further, women don't need their own league. Mash it all together. Just see how it goes. Think of the viewership. Think of the money they would raise. I never have bought a UFC event. The only time I watch it is when a friend of mine who's

really into it buys it and he has this all over. If they say there's a dude fighting a chick, even if it's like a 120 pound flyweight or strawweight, whatever it is, I'm buying it. I'm tuning in. It's going to be entertaining as fuck. Like, you know, give the people what they want.

Do you think that ancient Roman emperors thought that the Christians had a chance against the lions? No, of course not. But it was good for morale and Roman Zeus and the rest. That's why they did it. I would be okay if they started, if they put out a new belt out there for the mixed gender championship and returning our mixed gender champion,

Mel Gibson. He just comes out. Alex Baldwin, two weight classes higher, gives it a go. No, Mel Gibson identifies as a woman one hour every eight weeks during his fight. And when you see Mel Gibson, he's shredded for a dude his age. Yeah, he's on HGH. Yeah, he's jacked.

He's huge. Good for him. And he's got a beard that just won't quit. He's got the kind of beard, Woody, that you could emulate if you really pushed yourself. Actually, yeah. You distinguish gray stripes on the middle it's good that he's got that pointy like like like chin hair i'd have some level of gray on the sides with like a reddit downvote arrow coming off of my chin that's perfect it's intimidating just discouraging but is getting back to ti isn't this creepy as fuck though it's absolutely creepy

as fuck like like i don't know how i feel this is something that i feel that was definitely probably done in olden times by really creepy overbearing parents for sure and it just it reminded me of a part in that book it where beverly's father's is like it thinks that maybe she's been fucking all those boys. He's like, take your pants off. I want to check to see if you're intact. And she's like, no! And she's fucking backing away

and running from her dad. When you said olden days, I didn't think you meant mid-80s. That was the 50s. 50s, okay. Yeah, but I was actually, you know, even farther back is when I think... 1500s, he'd be like doctor is she a virgin and he's got his big bird mask on

like the good news is she is a virgin bad news she is a witch she was a virgin until i deflowered her with my bird mask. I leaned in a bit far. Yes, she is. Nope. Not just like that when she got here. I need one of those masks. I don't think checking with Hyman is a reliable way to... Well, of course, Hyman can break from a bunch of things, right?

Horseback riders get deflowered at like eight years old for their horseback riding. It's part of the deal. That's why it's Woody's favorite sport. Right? That and the kegels. But... Kegeling. Yeah, it's just...

Well, no, like apparently horseback riders, tight as fuck, because they're effectively like kegeling with their knees on the side of these horses. I mean, it's on the internet. Yeah. They wouldn't lie about that. effectively like kegling with their knees on the side of these horses and i mean it's on the internet it's yeah yeah um but also there are a bunch of reasons that a girl might not have a hymen one of them being genetic some of them being lifestyle you can't just go in there and check i think or that she's a whore yes probably you know occam's razor here right you think that guy would have phrased his whole thing differently if he knew how we used his his razor now he would have been like simplest thing off in the explanation but not in like instances that are super retarded that would have been a nice little addendum i just i just don't think tis daughter rides a lot of horses anyway.

It seems unlikely. What would he do if she were found to be un-intact? What's his reaction? And is the gyno covering for her? Because I would think that's the ethical thing to do. If you had a weird dad checking on you like that, the doctor would be like, yeah, still fresh. Still,

still fresh. Yeah. Still, I don't know, as the fresh out of the factory, factory stock, maybe. What do you go for here? It's got that new pussy smell.

That's perfect. That is actually what the doctor would say. Thank you, Kyle. Yeah, it's got that new pussy. I'll cover for you. I'm going to put this scented tree between your legs.

It's driving home. It smells like my new Acura. Definitely not my pussy, Dad. Yeah, but T.I. seems a little unhinged if he actually does that. I mean, he definitely does it. He tweeted it. He shouldn't have said actually. He tweets it.

He said it straight up. He tweeted it like it was it was a light he's bragging that he figured out like like I you know what I'm a little clever than the average dad I go into the gynecologist office and figure out the one asked if someone go to reddit life hacks and put in want to make sure not a whore. Go in with her to the gynecologist. I kind of want to do that. That's so weird. We should do it on Saturday and get our fans to upvote it and watch it go somewhere. We already ruined the telekinesis subreddit. You go over there now and it's a bunch of our listeners trolling people who think they're psychic.

Oh, no. No, it's really funny, though. Good for them. Why? What are they going to do? you fuck off it's a legitimate profession taylor telekinesis isn't telekinesis moving things that's moving things yeah moving stuff with your mind isn't that what you said am i crazy yeah yeah okay yeah yeah that's what they think they can do is like they can focus really hard in a coffee cup will shake or when i a little kid, I didn't think I could do it because there was no evidence, but I tried.

Oh, we all tried. You know how you can tell it's fake? It's not a single one of those people has talked about beating themselves off with their mind. That's pretty cool. That'd be the go-to. Yeah. Oh, you plebs sitting on your hand to get it numb? Nah, I just imagine.

Two big, burly. I mean, feminine hands. Taylor might be into something. I'm not. He's like, yeah, you know how you sit on your hand to get it numb? Like, yeah, that's everyone, right? Don't you remember when you heard about that

when you were like 14? A stranger. And then you did it once and you're like, this doesn't put your hand to sleep i was sitting on your hand i was with you until the did it part and that doesn't work i thought we all did it once and realized this is just a way for older kids to make us sit on our hands wouldn't it work though i think i could put my hand it's awful You need dexterity for that job You know when your hand falls asleep To the point that it's just like

Like the guy in what is it Scary Movie 2 Who's like take my hand Take my strong hand If your hand's like that You can't even grasp It really is like somebody else's hand Hypothetically if you had a fleshlight Could you operate that?

No, you can't. I feel like it would hand drop from a disabled stranger. The numb hand and the auto blow just seems redundant. Have you ever taken a shit so long that when you stand up, you almost fall over? Yeah. I think a lot of that is like having your elbows

on the top of your thighs, though. That's not helping the blood flow. I thought it was where the seat hit the back of your legs. Yeah, too. I think it's the combination. You're just cutting that blood flow off. What's the approach when that happens to you guys? What I do is I will move my feet back, like more to the side of the toilet, and I'll do almost like a wall sit, but I'll like elevate myself off the toilet, give my legs some more blood flow,

and then sit down. I feel like my shits aren't so strenuous that I require a technique. This is after a night of nothing but double cheese pizzas and wings. It's like we're talking about how to do a proper deadlift. So how do you guys shit?

Do you do the Russian squat? That's me. Wide stance. Well, the important thing is you can't make a back curve or you can throw it out so let's for the purposes of the description we'll pretend that the toilet seat is square what's making it numb is you're on the leading edge it's cutting across your legs the solution if you're in that situation is to slide back and get your legs on the parallel part of the square or the squatty potty which i wish is a is a product that i wish sponsored us because it is absurd and i it's it

apparently it works i've heard people talk about using it and it seems like they're far too rich to have to lie about a pooping device so i believe them uh i i we have them in every bathroom of our house and we had them and i i don't need one i don't like it because i feel like guests come in and judge our pooping habits so now it's like master bedroom and i think it's in the downstairs guest which i wouldn't choose but uh they like drag it out in the living room thinking it's a dinner tray it's great it's a little low one of your like guy friends comes up and he's like i love your elevated pissing stand just standing here that's a loud splash i feel alpha i'm hitting that toilet hard.

I've never used a squatty potty, but it makes sense because our bodies are designed to shit in a real squat position. It gets your intestines and all the parts and bits in a line, so it just shoots right out, but we're kind of kinked up when we're sitting at right angles and such.

It makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. We're like that one Tetris block that's like a weird S. Yeah. It makes sense. I feel like we should just poop standing straight up and let

whatever happens, happen. That's worth a try. Just as straight as an arrow and just give it hell. Somebody get a video of that and put it on Reddit. Standing shitting. Everyone know what happens if you power poof? I think we watched on the show

that clip from, this might have been years ago where it's like a security cam from Six Flags and this big fat bitch is like trying to do the oh I'm just kind of meandering around this mostly quiet area i'm definitely not scoping for people perfect she pulls like her jeggings down and just fires a hot magma rope right onto the pavement and then just walks away just walks away i've seen so many of those it seems like the asians are more prone to that sort of street shitting but i've seen several clips of very cute korean and japanese girls just being like oh

musta pooparoo and just fucking scope the place out and then just drop trowel right there in a very public setting and just give it hell kyle's right the chinese brought the social credit system upon themselves strong Strong point, Kyle. I mean, I would be in favor of that if they only focused on street shitters. Nose pickers and a lot of spitters. Is it San Francisco that's having a street shitting problem? Any listeners in San Francisco, get good footage of someone shitting standing.

That would be great. I wonder where the truth is on that. I'm just trying to find us a nice video of exactly what we're talking about, and I, like a fool, googled Asian girl shitting in street, and I was directed to

poopygirls.com. I'm not going to that. Again. Sounds upsetting. Yeah, I'm not going to that. It's exactly what you thought it was going to be you know what i'm not i'm not typing that in because it's already on my favorite spot oh why are they going for extreme close-ups for this i wanted like that high above looking down from a window angle yeah i don't want the you know jim carrey escaping from the rhino in the heat

angle that's what we're getting i want the camera to point up towards the rhino in the heat angle. That's what we're getting. I want the camera to point up towards the boot. Poop on the GoPro. That's like a simulated glass-bottom boat, almost, is what you're looking for. Oh, what celebrity is into that? Is it John Travolta? I think it's probably R. Kelly.

I feel like that's a safe guess for anything. Yeah. No, no, no. I know who it is. It's the guy who played Rocky. Sylvester Stallone. That's his kink. He likes to get underneath a glass coffee table and get the girl to

squat on top of it and watch as she shits down onto the glass. That's his kink. What? That's Stallone's kink? That's Stallone's kink. Hey, yo. We need you to get up on that table. Oh, okay. That's aone's kink. I choose to believe it. Yo, we need you to get up on that table. Oh, okay.

That's a little hot. I'm going to get up underneath. Cool, cool. You're going to watch. You're going to get a nice view down there. Yeah, yeah. Now, shit. Wait, what?

I got a whole pantry full of 501 bars. I don't mind waiting. What's a 501 bar? 501. It's a delicious. Yeah, 501 bars. I don't mind waiting. What's a 501 bar? Fiber one. Fiber one. Yeah, Fiber one. Yeah. He sounds absolutely retarded.

I love it. Taylor, computer update. By my count, I'm, this is business day nine. And so the absolute latest it could show up based on their website is Tuesday which would be business day 12th okay but it didn't come up today it didn't come today no

no I if I'm being honest I didn't even check their shipping times before I ordered it and so it that was longer than I anticipated I played cod with Kyle this week Kyle and his friends I played terribly that was unfortunate but Kyle and his friends. I played terribly. That was unfortunate. But Kyle and his friends were very nice. I enjoyed my time. I think I'm going to play a little more and suck less. What are you guys playing? Call of Duty. Capture the Flag.

No, no. Headquarters. Headquarters, Team Deathmatch, and Domination. It's a cool thing. You know how before you used to choose the game? Now you can say, these are the three games I'm interested in. Surprise me. Yeah, it was a cool thing you know how before you used to choose the game now you can say these are the three games I'm interested in surprise me and yeah it was a lot of fun I enjoyed that I've been playing it a lot

my opinion of the game is very fluid it sort of changes every day after my experience with it they're about to nerf that god damn shotgun thank god so that's not going to be I'm like about to open it I thought you guys were just sitting in buildings with the Claymores fucking with you.

Well, we did that for a little while, but after a while, we just started running around. I don't know that we did that for more than a game. Yeah, did it look like a game or two? Well, everybody quit out as soon as we did it. We did get a whole team to quit. Yeah, yeah. It's not fun to play against that nonsense.

Well, Retreat is also a victory. It's a lot of... I like the multiplayer. I really do. I like the single player. I hate is also a victory. It's a lot of... I like the multiplayer. I really do. I like the single player. I hate the spec hops now. I see that it has no replayability. I was wrong at first. I don't know. We played it one night and it was just so much fun, but then I tried to play it again and got nothing out of it.

But yeah, I'm digging it. I'm playing a lot of hardcore. I like that. I'm still not very good. I got like a 1.3 KD or some shit, but I'm enjoying myself for sure. I'm worse still not very good. I got like a 1.3 KD or some shit, but I'm enjoying myself for sure. I'm worse than not very good. I'm actually bad.

My KDs, I mean, not only is my KD below one, but I think I had two positive games and the positive games were shit too, like a six and two and a six and three. Like I'm bad, but I had a good time. I don't know if it makes for a good stream. That's one thing that bothers me like it if your shroud great everyone wants to see that but you know they were in the chat saying i didn't read the chat i'm like man i wish i could but then i'd go 3 and 20 this is me this is me

fully focused on the game right now yeah yeah um that's my worry with the Twitch thing is I feel like just trying to get good at it, I'll be sitting there for like 10 minutes really giving my best fucking sucking ass and I'll forget to talk. See, I think it's a mistake to go into Twitch with the mindset of like, alright, I just need to get as

good as the rest of the people who play video games for a living in the world. We'll get to that level first first thing is that'd be like anything you're like all right so i'm gonna get into playing baseball for crowds first thing i do learn to play baseball at an extremely high level right ben gotta work on the whole charisma thing because you can't just hit dingers all day people want some quips in between you know um i don know. I think you just make it your own. It depends what games you're playing.

It depends what games you're playing. First of all, your issue is you're going to be bumping into walls. Your character's going to be doing that thing where he's clearly only working on one axes at a time. Do you have extra WASD? I'm really just not good.

Yeah, I'm bad. WASD? I only know how. At WASD? Yeah. Okay. I only know how to do WASD pretty well on games like Total War, where it's just kind of manipulating the field of vision for an RTS game. Yeah, he's operated a camera. Yeah, the actual gun itself. Even when I went 6-2 on my friend's game playing,

it was because I was walking around like a pussy, like ADSing most of the time, and was only like doing that thing where you run around the absolute edge of the map hoping to catch people from behind like any one-on-one gunfight i got in i lost i lost way more than half of my fair fights and part of it was like for i'll say a third of the games i hadn't unlocked good weapons and then when i, they were iron scopes and stuff. But the overwhelming percentage of the blame goes on my aim, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

But it just depends what games you're going to play. What do you recommend? I think it would be fun if you played some games with me and some of my friends that involve like silliness and like the code names. I think is a lot of fun. That requires zero WASD. That's literally like a board game in a virtual world. And you get this game called Tabletop Simulator,

which is like buying every old board game you've ever heard of in your life. It's like hundreds and hundreds of games. I think there's a lot of stuff in there you could play. But as far as like something for the crowd to watch, I think RPGs would be good. A Fallout game, an Elder Scrolls game, something like that.

Because you're in that world. It's low risk. The vampires aren't going to kill you. I haven't played Skyrim. Skyrim, for example, you know that game. You can engage and disengage. There's a lot of safe spots in Skyrim. And you can use that to pay attention to the chat that makes sense and then once you're myself

getting back into skyrim it's been like i played the fuck out of it for years but i mean it's been what six years since i've played a whole different thing on pc taylor like like yeah i know you can download tits and shit not just t tits. Not just tits, Taylor. Taylor's is for genius. Pussies. Pussies also. Taylor's expands your mind. There's a butthole modifying application. Can I play that on Twitch or will they go, no, no, no. As a matter of fact,

Kyle, why don't you go? You have to put the clothes on, the panties and bra on your character for any game that involves nudity. But what I was really going to all jokes aside, I was going to say I don't know about Skyrim but I play a lot of Fallout and I've modded the shit

out of that game and you can just throw in new DLC. There's DLC packs that you would pay $15 or $25 for or $15 whenever they would come out. Over time they depreciate of course to like $3 or $25 or $15 whenever they would come out. Over time they depreciate, of course, to like $3 or $5. But people just write whole DLC missions

that are cool as shit and you can just plug them in. You're like, ah, I wish there was a mission where we went to space. Like, oh, there it is. Let me just download it. And now I've got it. There's so much content that you can download for those games. Yeah, I need to look around to figure out what games I'm going to play.

But you know, guys, there are going to be a handful of games that are just for me. No, there's not. I'm planning on like 100% of my gaming being on Twitch because I just, like aside from playing Age of Mythology

some this past weekend because I finally fucking got it working again. Yeah, I saw you playing. Yeah, I haven't. i haven't gamed in forever unless you count magic the gathering like six or eight months ago when i was getting into that i will play that on stream that game's fun i can't wait to feel like yeah this is the game that i'm i'm okay at i get the mechanics and then have a bunch of people in chat being like, fucking idiot! Why would you play a giant

growth there? You could have saved up, played it next turn with this combo and done that. And then I'll have to say stuff like, well, I saw I foresaw that and chose against it. But yeah, man, I'm looking forward to Magic. Hopefully enough people give a fuck about watching that. Doubt it, though.

That's what Filthy was doing for a while. His main game on forward to Magic. Hopefully enough people give a fuck about watching that. Doubt it, though. That's what Filthy was doing for a while. His main game on there was Magic. He has an established following of strategy minded people, though. But I think that your viewer base, for the longest time, is going to be there for you. This is my line of thinking. I'm certainly no Twitch genius.

But the game is an entertaining backdrop to the Taylor show. So if you were to play cod, like I did, for example, I think the Taylor show wouldn't be as good, right?

Cause you have to focus, you know what cod is like, you gotta give it your full attention. But if you were to play Skyrim, well, shucks, sometimes it's like 12 minute walks in that game. And that's when you can interact with the chat,

answer their questions and do their thing. I think that's what would make for a good Taylor show. I think you're right. That's more what I want to do. I want to be just making jokes and shooting the shit and interacting with people more than, like, oh, rats, my KD. And Total War. You're good at Total War. But I don't know that that makes for a good Taylor show.

I mean, more. Okay. But I don't know that because that also is a game that occupies all your attention while it's happening. Yeah. That's true. Well, Taylor played mostly single player Total War. Yeah, I played several single player games thinking that I've developed some skill. And then I get into the multiplayer world and realize that I'm not right. You know how it is when you play that first like Call of Duty like campaign. You're like, well, I just dominated the entire

nation of Iraq, essentially. And then we went to Afghanistan, won that, pretty much all by myself. Now let's take on some children on the internet. And you're like, ah, well, they're not playing fair at all. Usually they slowly walk out into the street, see me, and then, you know,

how come they throw grenades towards me? These guys aren't standing up behind a burnt out car yelling three sentences in arabic and then slow gaming at me why is it my strategy of standing in the door as if that was cover working i can't even quit dragging off quickscope people yeah that's how that's how total war is total war has a very um high level online community uh i watch a lot of the competitive uh total war on youtube i watch a lot of turin and he he hosts tournaments and stuff and um i'm not at their level or anything but i've played against him and i don't get my shit absolutely pushed in well you know it's it's a bit of a fight and i've went

back and watched his stream to like see what he said about me. He wasn't rude. I was like, yeah, that's a win. He's like, alright, alright. Okay, alright, okay. Oh, he's doing this and that. He's doing little things where he's like, not a bad army composition. You're like, not a bad army composition. Well, I did copy yours

from two months ago. Thank you very much. The most fun I had on Total War is when we do i'm sorry we do 2v2s kyle and i on total war and like we would play a couple 2v2s versus random people win occasionally and then eventually kyle would be like hey gaming bros buy total war and join our lobby and they'd be, I don't know how to play or what to do. You're like, just get it and join.

And then they'd join and be like, all right, so which one of us is with Taylor? Which one's with Kyle? It's like, neither. It's both of you versus both of us. Just going like a 10 game, just steamroll streak. And that was, you know. It's like your favorite scene from like any movie

with like the army on horseback that just comes charging down the mountain, and the plebs are just like, no! And they just destroy it. That was every single game. It was so much fun. All we would do is it got to the point where Kyle would be like, hey, Taylor, can you just build a normal infantry build?

I'm going to build nothing but mountain giants this game just just 12 of those guys storming ahead and fucking them up that was great yeah or just nothing but minotaurs just minotaurs that works that works it did work the best example of us doing that to people though was when we had everybody download age of mythology oh yeah we had it and meanwhile like like we've told this story before but goddamn yeah um it's clickety click clickety click rts micro matters but but army composition matters and it's one of those timing based games where it's like that mad rush to like assemble your village that that is basically your your military might making machine you know it's

your army factory and you've got to assemble it in the right order down to like, if you're off by a few seconds, you've kind of fucked up. I would just watch professional players, tournament-level players, and copy their build order down to the second for hours at a time every day. Marijuana

helps with this sort of thing. It is a performance-enhancing drug. I'm sitting there like, nope, off by two seconds. Restart. Again and again and again so when we played against those children who had never played the game before that was a lot of fun it was great that was a lot of fun it's a strong strategy and if you're too good go younger two of your friends two of your uh of the gaming buddies who bought it and played. I remember you're like, I'm just going to basically SimCity back here with Zeus

and all the most powerful infantry. You play Loki Rush and just get a couple Hursiers, these little cheap heroes. Loki is a Norse god and his strategy, if you try and sim city with him late game you're going to get fucked like your guys have too low armor he's all about heroes and myth units like fire giants and mountain giants and shit and there's a strat with him which is just start off the game build a temple get a bunch of uh or start off the game

send your builders deep into their territory just out of their vision build a temple and then just pump a steady supply of these heroes into there not enough to win the game but enough to kill every villager and so for like the first couple games we did that like the people and because all four of us are in the same chat the same audio chat yeah yeah and they'd be like oh these fucking npcs are showing up at my base again all of my villagers this is bullshit are you guys dealing with this and we're like oh yeah we kill them though and then like maybe three games in they're like wait did they say taylor murca you where'd you build these it's a hilarious strategy like like

taylor said like instead of building this like thing in your village that you build a temple and then like a stables. And each of these things builds different kinds of units. But instead, your whole point is to find their base and then put that temple, which is the herseer creating. Herseers are like these badass motherfuckers that you can build very early. And you're building units in their backyard. And the units are just going and massacring their villagers and you need those villagers if you lose one you've fucked up desperately yeah it's bad and kyle would be sim citying and i would be focusing on just fucking with them and so kyle always had an abundance of resources so i'd be like hey i need 500 food and 600 more gold to keep fucking with

him and he just shipped that over and the thing with these herseyers, if you play Loki, is as they're attacking, they have a special ability of they will randomly summon myth units. And so they could just be hitting a house and then a troll will pop up and start fucking the house too. And then a second later, a Valkyrie will pop up

and start fucking. They're like, this isn't fair. Oh, it was so much fun. We should do that again. We can get into that. I don't know if people... I bet people would like to watch that. I would need so much practice to get good at that again. It's been so long. I forgot all... I used to have that whole notepad and I would tape the notepad

next to my monitor, but after a while it was just memory. God knows where that notepad is. If I looked at that now I would feel real sad. I was like, how much time did you dear god kyle and i would work up 2v2 playing like all right we can dominate moderate in like five minutes now all right let's play hard let's play titan or whatever and there would be times playing where we'd be 31 seconds in and kyle would be like well it's over restart misclicked on the villager now i'm

gonna have to wait for the classical age until a minute seven instead of 58 seconds and it's like all right well there you go we got to restart we're not gonna we're not gonna waste nine seconds yeah yeah i wanted to be perfect at that game and that was a game where you could be perfect like in call of duty you can never be perfect there's always the ceiling cap never arrives but in that game you could be perfect there was's always, the ceiling cap never arrives. But in that game, you could be perfect. There was an absolutely perfect way to do the things. Yeah, I enjoyed that game a lot.

And it's such an old, shitty looking game too. Like, I bet there are some people who don't know what this game is out there. Maybe one or two. And they're picturing this right now and they're like,

oh yeah, Trolls and Valkyries. I bet it's a beautiful, no, this is like a 25-year-old RTS. It came out in October 2002. There you go. 17 years old. Not a good-looking game. Oh, that's funny.

There's a new Age of Empires coming out. What's the modern equivalent? I was about to say... I guess it would be the new Age of Empires. That is a good bet. Age of Empires. They should have redone Age of Mythology and the new Age of Empires. That is a good bet. There really isn't a mod. Age of Empires, they should have redone Age of Mythology. Mythology. They should have redone Age of Empires because the mythology aspect and picking a god and having the special powers you can use and everything is way more fun than just like, oh, I'm the Britons.

I have long bowmen again kind of shit. It's still fun. Yeah, I agree. I agree. I like the mythological units and all that made up nonsense. I agree. I like the mythological units and all that made up nonsense. That's the game I played when I was like 12 in my room when it didn't

look shitty to me because that was like early 2000s and my mom would be like, what are you doing? I'd be like, I'm learning about the ancient world. Not really though. Anyway, nobody gives a fuck about this. We can move past that. We can talk about T.I.'s daughter

snatch some more. i i don't know if this is everyone's cup of tea uh both choose and i had this topic playing out the ford is going deep and with these electric cars which is interesting to me anyway uh they came up with a new mustang i know we have a mustang fan out there um 900 horsepower mustang it's an 800 volt electric vehicle mustang they're also working on an electric f-150 which appeals to me and uh i don't know i just think it's interesting a thousand foot pounds of torque what is the current mustang it seems like a lot 900 horsepower and a thousand pounds of torque probably 400 and 450 somewhere in there like for the for the like the gt i'm just guessing you know roughly speaking about that yeah and and oh the interior

with that crazy blue yeah i agree so i'm showing it to the audience right now it's it has a big screen i'm gonna call it ipad sized like you know the bigger iPad size. Yeah. And I don't know. It just looks fantastic. This to me, it's carbon fiber dashboard. Also, so I'm not a huge fan of what Tesla does. They're like, there's no buttons in this whole car. Everything's on the display. Do you want to open the glove compartment?

Well, that's four menus deep on your little iPad in the center. Like, why is that a feature to you? Why is it it a feature that like do you want to adjust your seat yeah there's no buttons anywhere look for the seat menu fuck and i don't know why everyone thinks that's they love it so i'll i haven't tried it so maybe i could be wrong but i'm just like man i don't know i really like buttons that do like the thing they're supposed to do oh here's a button by the light that turns that light on you should at least have a backup button i like the feel of a button and i like the feels the feel of buttons and knobs and i really do typically like a single function button does is like a one step way to do the thing that you want to do whereas if it's buried in your iPad interface somewhere, then like six clicks down while you're driving.

Well, somebody tell Wings it's time for him to upgrade again. Yes. Yeah, Wings, you need a 900 horsepower, 1,000 foot. The electric thing I'm mixed. How do you, are you guys excited about electric vehicles? Because I'm, yeah, I'm not sure. I think if they put a warranty on that thing, if they would give you you a really good warranty,

I would be absolutely sold on something like this. What's really good? Oh, eight years for sure. I was thinking like, I'm going to say six. It's like, oh, eight's crazy, but six is... Yeah, it's pretty similar numbers. But six, I think, would do it. If it was like a six year 75 000 mile warranty or

something like that just spitballing like that would make me feel very comfortable or just for the drivetrain like you don't have to cover that fucking ipad in the middle of the console you have to cover like you know little little odds and ends but i i worry about the battery and uh and stuff like that uh having issues and and the the expense of fixing that and the expertise required to fix that it's not something that any shade tree mechanic can just get out there and do like like i can fix if something happens with my car i can fix it mostly i mean i'm not going to rebuild the engine i'm no wings of redemption but i i can i could find someone who could rebuild it for fairly cheap but

electric car i don't know but on the other hand you probably won't have to rebuild the engine or i bet you might be able to swap an electric motor just thinking out loud yeah and the power really interests me like like that that thing isn't there's numbers are outrageous yeah they're outrageous they just destroy an internal combustion engine. Nearly all of them, right? Like, it's crazy. A lot of people are excited about electric itself, but my driving use case isn't that normal.

You know, I do a lot of normal drives. I take columnist speech therapy or whatever, but a lot of my drives, I'm towing a trailer to Georgia and stuff like that. That's the kind of thing where gasoline really thrives there's a little more energy in a tank of gas and it's so quick to refill and yeah you've got long haul drives like with the trailer if people don't tow they might not realize that cuts your fuel economy in half on a gas engine like yeah it would be just fine for me you know i'm in a major city and my drives are usually

30 minutes out 30 30 minutes back. Like it'd be ideal. Uh, so yeah, I would definitely want one of these. I bet it's kind of prohibitively expensive. This is probably one of those $80,000 fucking Mustangs when you could, you know,

get, get, get a, get one like wings got for 17,000, which is a really nice car by the way. Like my, you know, no jokes.

Um, look at it. is a really nice car by the way like not you know no jokes um looking at it it looks really nice i rented one of those things about a year and a half two years ago the eco boost and it's got so many functions uh for like like driving modes like there's like drag race mode or something like that like quarter mile and i was just like i was playing with all of them along the way i got the convert convertible and it was pretty quick. It wasn't as fast as my car, but it was quick. Your car is fast. It was plenty quick. I follow this kind of news.

Ford has the largest or will have the largest recharging network in the country. And you'd think, what? Tesla's been working on this for five years. Like, how can that be? Apparently, they just got a bunch of existing charging places under contract. And now they're all Ford places where you can charge your electric Mustang or F-150. I wish they would all come under one umbrella. You know what I mean?

Yes. Cooperate. Right now it's not like, oh, yeah, I've got a Chevrolet. So I've got access to 18 Chevrolet gas stations in my area. What they should do. Well, Ford has 27. The debit card model right like all right you bought a chevy you can charge for free or at a discounted rate at the chevy gas

station or if you put a ford there you pay a little more just like debit cards i'd be okay with that as long as it's not ridiculous like if it was like a two dollar surcharge which is what they do to you on the debit card or three what's the biggest surcharge that you can ever remember an atm fucking slapping on you because i've been at theme parks trying to get like 150 dollars to buy some annie ann's pretzels or some shit and it's like seven dollars eight dollars stuff like that for just to get your money out i want to see i've seen a 10 maybe it was a casino oh yeah yeah yeah casinos are the worst. That's right.

That's right. But you don't care because you're already getting money to throw away. Well, I've already lost a bunch of money. You're like 10. They need one of those handles on the side of that ATM machine. Joke's on you, casino. Now I'm only going to lose 90 because I lost 10 right at this ATM machine. They should.

They should have one of those levers on the side where you put it in. It's like, ah, well, I got 140 of my 150 back. What are you going to do? I'm playing the ATM. It's a net return. It's giving me money every time. I was thinking about wings last night. I was like...

As I do. I was thinking about them in the shower. I'm sorry, Kerry. I was lying in bed. And I was just thinking like, the shower. I'm sorry, Kareem. I was lying in bed. I was just thinking, you ever have somebody ask you for proof of residence to fill out some form or something like that and you got to go get your electrical bill

or something like that? He just hands him the keys. Jesus. Jesus. You think about him a lot Poor Wings Poor Wings He's prospering Poor Wings, he plays video games for a living

and gets all that pussy and drives new cars He is prospering, he's been prospering for a long time I think maybe Wings boo-hoos to get those pity donations pussy and drives new cars. He is prospering. He's been prospering for a long time. I think maybe Wings boo-hoos to get those pity donations. He seems to be doing real well. He's always complaining about money, but he's always got plenty to spend. That's all I'm saying. Plenty to borrow, he means. What's the difference?

Well, there is a difference. Once he borrows it, he spends it. I'm just saying he didn't buy that Mustang with cash. He made money trading in the original Mustang, Woody. Don't you understand? I'm sure he got one over on that used car salesman. He was doing that thing where you trade a toothpick into a house. Would you like a toothpick for those three jelly bellies would you like these three jelly bellies

for it was a red paper clip i think i know what you're talking about red paper clip yeah yeah dude that guy needs to be called out on his shit nobody believes you red paper clip guy and you're trash he didn't trade that into a house i might have come on unless he found a rich like a really rich retarded guy who's like now i can't ever give you this paper clip because this has magical properties if i give you my entire house he's like well even then okay let me suppose he did it in 14 trades let me uh line them up for you and you can tell me if you think it's reasonable. I make my mark. He traded the red paperclip for a fish-shaped pen.

And then he traded the pen the same day for a hand-sculpted doorknob. And then he traded the doorknob for a Coleman camp stove with fuel. That for a Honda generator. Whoa, big step up. Um, he traded the generator for an instant party, which is an empty keg with an IOU for filling it on Budweiser sign and some other stuff.

Um, he traded the instant party for a ski do snowmobile. God damn. He traded that for a two-person trip, a vacation. He traded that for a box truck. That for a recording contract with Metalworks in Mississauga, Ontario. Who is this man? How does he know these people?

He traded that for a year's rent in Phoenix. He traded the year's rent for an afternoon with Alice Cooper. He traded the Cooper afternoon for motorized snow globe. That seems like a downgrade. The snow globe for a role in the film Donna on Demand and that for a two-story farmhouse.

You know, I think what we should take from this is this guy was so well connected that that none of this even matters because clearly he knows lots of people in the entertainment business and and and lots of rich people with blood with just frivolous spending habits that's the key to doing this is knowing a lot of people who just don't give a fuck people with like drug problems the snow globe park fascinates me. He had an afternoon with Alice Cooper. First of all, he had a year's rent and he traded that for an afternoon with Alice Cooper.

That seemed like a downgrade to me. And then an afternoon with Alice Cooper for a snow globe. What the heck? Was this a solid gold snow globe? I'd like to see the snow globe. A year's rent to a snow globe is a huge downgrade. Depends where you're living. I wouldn't take an afternoon with Cooper for free.

I don't want to hang out with him. I honestly wouldn't either. If someone told me, hey, Alice Cooper wants to hang out with you all day. He's across the street. What do you wear to that? I probably go with cargo shorts and a t-shirt

i honestly wouldn't go i don't care to meet alice cooper like like at all like i'm not a fan name an old school rock guy that you would want to meet ozzy osbourne i'd love to meet ozzy osbourne i think he's funny yeah yeah He's my least favorite. Wow. Did you ever watch the Osbournes on MTV? That's why. It's amazing. He's different now.

But he had the shakes. Woody! Come here, Woody. I found this flying contraption in your garage. Please, sir. You could just put that down. And a rifle! I found a rifle! No, the flying machine's totally safe i think i already broke it so shaky and burnout yes see that that's i don't think i'd

enjoy my my time in that i would i feel like he's one of those rich guys that that like you need to know if you want to turn a red paper clip into a fucking house like you could probably arrange two or three steps up if you're hanging around Ozzy Osbourne long enough yeah definitely more than that it's shiny can I have it just says the stories across the shit

if you met Ozzy Osbourne you could directly trade that would be my article be like Taylor traded a red paper clip into a house first he duped Ozzy Osbourne into trading taylor traded a red paper clip into a house first he duped trading a house the end of the transaction i don't know why i did it i must have been on something but he did say there's something special about it yeah just like you're right i when i first heard about the red paper clip i'm older than you guys, it was still ongoing.

It became a media sensation type thing. So he might have had, I don't know, The Afternoon with Alice Cooper or something like that. So he might have had some favorable trades deeper in the run. What celebrity would you pay ten thousand dollars to spend not just a day with let's let's say you're getting to spend like a night with weekend emma watson well emma watson doesn't have enough money to be throwing 10k around i'm not doing that for any celebrity right yeah i'm with you on that but which if the core of the question is who would you really want to spend time with i like politics a lot so one of the last the current or previous president would

appeal to me yeah um okay he's dead i hate those people that that toronto mayor that died who was fat and on crack and did a bunch of crazy shit rob for Ford, I think. He seems like he'd be a barrel of fun. Even dead. He opted to hang out with Rob Ford's corpse. He's dying of pneumonia, so you have to do it. You have to excavate this.

There's a Key and Pills skit where one of those Make-A-Wish kids, and he's like, I want to pee in your mouth. they're like what yeah i want to pee in your mouth i guess i gotta let him do it i'm up to the last three presidents now and it's not any more entertaining um george george w bush would be cool to hang out with right that's i guarantee like like obama was a good president but i don't know if he's fun to hang out with right that's i guarantee like like obama was a good president but i don't know if he's fun to hang out with you know what i mean he was i think he did mark maron's podcast and mark maron was blown away by him or whoever interviewed him that i heard

interviewed after the fact but i don't think i'd have any fun with obama i don't think we would like have any sort of interesting dialogue with one another but george w bush i feel like he's i mean that guy did cocaine and he was a raging alcoholic and these are all things i like in the people i spend time with did he run somebody over but only the later years or did his wife run someone over he was like totally senile um i want schwarzenegger i think schwarzenegger is the best good one that's a good pick good schwarzenegger and oj Schwarzenegger is the best. That's a good pick. Schwarzenegger and OJ Simpson are my top two. They're on my Mount Rushmore of celebs to chill with.

And if I have to choose between them, it's OJ. Yeah, he is fun as long as he doesn't, you know. As long as you don't cheat on him and steal a house from him. You know what? That's all it took. I'll try not to. I don't think the juice is going to be cutting my head off as long as I don't mess with his lady friend. I've got Joe Rogan in my head, but I think he'd get preachy on me.

I don't need him to tell me how I'm not making the most out of me. I don't want to talk about DMT all day. I don't want to be told that I should exercise more by Joe Rogan. Yeah. Yeah, you do because you would exercise with him. Wouldn't you want to exercise with Joe Rogan? I don't know. Half of his guests. It's like, heaven forbid you come on the you would exercise with him. Wouldn't you want to exercise with Joe Rogan? I don't know. Half of his guests.

It's like, heaven forbid you come on the JRE show with Dad Bod. He'll tell you all about it. The other lifestyle changes you need to make and how you need to sleep and have some fucking elk meat or I don't know. Yeah, well, you know what, Joe? You can't get any taller. Yeah. So take that. I'll give up my shoes.

That'll add two inches. You know, Joe, I can't help but notice that the HGH has made your internal organ swell to the point where your abs stick out further than your pecs. What's up with that? It's not a human look. It's not a human look you got going on there, Joe. Your head. What the fuck is wrong with your head? Did anyone ever say that to him?

No. Oh, because you're doing a Bill Burr impression. I'm like, did this happen? Bill Burr would be perfect to say these things. What the fuck happened to you? You're a monster. How has your head grown twice the size since you left news radio? That was the late 90s.

You were an adult. His hair's gone and his head volume's even bigger. It makes no sense scientifically speaking. If that transformation happened in a Marvel movie and nobody said anything about it, you'd be like, come on. The CEO of the company's head suddenly starts getting big and nobody realizes that their boss is Brainiac. Of course it's Brainiac. I got a thing, though. I think Joe Rogan is smarter than he was in the news radio, which ties into my head size intelligence theory

and that's been proven many times there's this well respected field of phrenology dude that would have been the best way to be a scientist in olden days you just take a bunch of skulls and you got like a whatever

a head scratcher it looks like a big caliper yeah it's a cals and you got like a whatever uh what the head scratcher it looks like a big caliper yeah it's a caliper where you're like ah this guy was a rapist you know i'm no doctor so i take his word for it yeah being a doctor gets more and more fun i think the further back in time you get oh for sure just oh for sure. Oh, for sure. At some point, you're just making shit up as you go along. You're just like the guy with the cleanest hands.

Yeah, you're just the guy with the cleanest hands. Someone's got to pull it out of my tumble. What about Billy? His hands are very clean. And he is a very good doctor. Wash your hands in the goat piss and then come over here yeah 3 000 years ago being a doctor that would have been pretty sick yeah i was watching this rogan had this guest recently who was talking about the pygmies in africa or some shit and how like

it's like that thing we always joke about for some reason where you know you're always like talking about how they want to crack open the white man's skull to cure the AIDS or get the gold out or some shit. Yeah. They were literally holding this little boy down and cutting him and bleeding him because they wanted to drink his blood to cure their AIDS. Was he albino? Did it work?

He was black. He was just a pygmy. You know, the little folk. And they were raping all the women, just raping the churches, burning the women, just going ham why were they doing this to get rid of their aids okay uh no it's a real thing like i don't think that's a real thing no no being well it doesn't work but it's a real thing they try i thought that's the

angle we were about to say oh no it's a real thing i'll back you up taylor but i don't think he's gonna bite we all know the cure is to inject yourself with two hundred thousand dollars cash as in south park but like yeah it's a real thing that like being born albino in some of those areas in africa the roughest spot in life because you are gonna get fucked with even if they don't fuck with you, you're in Africa and you have no, what is it, melatonin? Melamine?

Yeah, melatonin is that other stuff that helps you sleep. Yeah, well, they say it does, but I don't think that's true. I think research showed that it was the sodium and the fat or something like that from the turkey. Oh, I bought my Thanksgiving turkey. We'll get to that get to that later though you think of tryptophan that's fucking

tryptophan ah this is way too much for us to keep track of these days that i agree with i those people are roasting under the sun imagine like like like i get sunburned pretty badly i've got kind of fair skin taylor's even more fair than i am and but but like someone like bill burr who's like a ginger like oh he's, he's the worst of the worst until you see that albino African boy just hiding in a hut. He suddenly goes down. You're right.

I never thought about that. That sucks. People think of me as maybe not as white as I really am because I get a lot of sun in the summer. But I'm not a ginger. I'm a ginger factory. I'm a ginger factory. I'm a ginger producer

and actually quite fair skinned. I don't know what kind of factory I am yet. We'll see. I'm closed for repairs. Shit is not happening. Until the day you die. Did you get a vasectomy? I plan to. I absolutely plan to. I don't see... Don't see that. Roll the dice you die. Did you get a vasectomy? I plan to. I absolutely plan to.

Don't do that. Roll the dice, bitch. Be a man, Kyle. See what happens. Roll the dice, bitch. That's solid life advice. Xbox Live taught me long ago that I do not want a child. And I have made fun of far

too many younglings with disabilities to roll those dice if there is a god or karma yeah they're gonna get you then i i'm gonna spawn a mutant with with fucking octopus arms and and an 83 iq and it's not gonna go well on the previous stereotypical asian if you're if you're a black albino person what are you well you're still african yeah i didn't ask where you're from well no but like your ethnicity would be african or whatever like yeah you'd still be african americans not like that's a that's a geography right am i crazy yeah i mean it's geography no nationality is what you're thinking of.

Ethnicity is like race, right? No, no, no. Because Africa is a continent, not a nation. African American is a geography thing. It's a distinction of geography. Yeah, I think you could be African and white, such as South African. There you go. Like Scarlett Johansson.

Scarlett Johannesburg. That's where she's from. You left out a syllable, Kyle. There's two hands in there. Johanna Nesson. They would still carry an African with albinism.

I guess they'd be more likely to have a child that's albino, but most likely the child would be black, right? Or no? I don't know. I just straight up want to know what a black albino is. Is that a white person?

Well, no. It's not a European person. It's a black person with a skin. Alright, alright. Yes. That is a white person because they are white, but that is not a Caucasian. Yes, they're not Caucasian. That's the way to say it. I believe the

scientific word starts with an N. But it ends with an O. It ends with an O. But I don't want to get close to it. It's too close. We're going to call them bros. Not in this climate. A bro-tho. It's the safe angle i think we are all coming off as ignorant how did that happen that's never happened once not once in this whole show but yeah i don't know but the same way that like if you have a genetic defect you're more likely to pass it on but

i don't know i guess it depends on the genetic defect defect you're more likely to pass it on but no i guess it depends on the genetic defect sometimes you're like almost guaranteed to pass it on and other times like you can like have a totally normal kid as long as yeah yeah i don't know how that works like it could you have a it yeah like there's some in utero things that can happen to you right you know like a little cut off the brain blood flow for a moment or something and you won't pass that on i think no you won't pass that on let me just google how do albinos work we're talking about recessive and dominant traits and right and whether or not things are likely or are not so likely to be passed on to your offspring it also

depends on what your partner is like what their genetics are like because sometimes like you're fine as long as your partner doesn't have the same recessive trait as you but if both of you have it then your child is definitely going to have like octopus arms or whatever the fuck like there's all sorts of stuff with genetics that's why you should always get the person that you're going to have these little mutant babies with checked out right to make sure that she's you think compatible yes yeah genetically so how did you do it did she volunteer did you steal a Right, to make sure that she's compatible. Yes. Genetically compatible. So how did you do it? Did she volunteer?

Did you steal a glass she drank from? I held her down and cut her hair. You got to pull her hair. Get the roots. That's where the good DNA is. That's true. Is that what she is? Like Vitiligo?

Vitiligo? Vitiligo. Vitiligo. I ain't black. This is reverse Vitiligo. This is reverse Vitiligo. Dude, we've talked about him before but there's an mma fighter who had vitiligo and uh he was he pretty much turned white like you would think that he was a white guy at this point yeah it turns out that vitiligo is accelerated by like rubbing on that area right so you as a normal person you might get white

like in your armpits around your neck maybe between your legs first right at hands right things that move a lot but him as a grappler like his whole body's being just dragged across the mat daily that that's you know what i don't like so he turned white i don't like whenever they take a picture of somebody who's got vitiligo and they're like, she's beautiful. And it's just like, why can't we all admit when someone is unattractive or when something is wrong with them that is not appealing to the eye? I'm only halfway with you. I think that a really structurally beautiful person with vitiligo can still be beautiful. If you applied vitiligo to, I don't know, I'm bringing up Emma Watson. I talked about her earlier. I think she'd still be beautiful. If you applied vitiligo to... I don't know. I'm bringing up Emma Watson. I talked about her earlier.

I think she'd still be beautiful. But I'm more of the obese person with vitiligo. You just take a really fit chick, nice happy trail. Vitiligo or not, we all agree she's rocking. But hey, I turn white too. See, that whole body acceptance movement should be for people with

vitiligo, a missing leg from Afghanistanistan a burn victim an acid attack victim but it has been entirely co-opted appetite discipline disorder yeah yeah i just can't stop yeah so that's a shame like someone out there with like burns on their leg and their face is you know getting shut down because they have thin privilege or something. It's kind of funny. I like to think that. There's some poor person with burns on their face like,

what are you worried about, skinny? What are you talking about? You can probably eat whatever you want. Not really. It's hard to chew. He's sitting there like, actually, every day is a struggle. Would I give to be 85 pounds like you, you privileged cunt. I don't have any legs.

Burns segues into that next topic. Can we watch this? I have a group watch thing to do. Have you guys seen this already? Yeah, last year. I have not. Oh, that is possible, actually. It's a year old. Have we watched it on this already? Yeah, last year. I have not. Oh, that is possible, actually. It's a year old.

Have we watched it on the show? Yeah. We'll watch it again. I mean, that's never stopped us before. Especially me. We can watch it. Yeah, I don't remember. It's a really cool video.

It's fun to watch. All right, so what you're going to see is a dad and a son, I guess, trapped in a forest fire. For reasons I can't explain, the son is driving. And what's interesting in the video to me is the tension. The kid is scared to death. Dad has like a forced calm that I'm not buying. And let's listen. Are you guys ready?

Mm-hmm. Ready, set, play. that I'm not buying and let's listen. Are you guys ready? Yep. Ready, set, play. That was loud. Barely here. Yeah, they're driving through like a national forest. windy it is yeah it's part of this firestorm and everything is on fire and there's just a glow of like orange and black like a haze of doom it's like something from a movie as they enter the fire the decision isn't totally insane like you can drive in that now it's starting

to look a little more insane yeah I don't know why that kids driving Yeah, these guys are not native to America. He says we're out, they're around the bend. There's just fire as far as the eye can see. Shut the fuck up, I'd be hauling ass. There's a balance. Right? I feel like the kid's going about the right speed though. Yeah, I do too.

I feel like the kid's going. Now look, the road's on fire. Now it's just cinders. Dude, it's like snow, but burning cinders. If he wrecks here, I'm pretty sure they'd burn alive. Dude, I don't think you remember the ending. Dad, what if a tree falls on us? Please God, help us. Dude, I don't think you remember the ending There's a fallen flaming log across the road. We gotta get out of here.

Kids kind of beta, huh? Yeah. This is a little beta. Bitch is never getting laid. I guess they weren't announcing fire schedules on their Polish radio. Siri thinks I'm talking to her. are you trying to escape a forest fire it said my sis is a little bear i'm like kind of anyway um

what happens is they they drive up upon a flaming log that's blocked the road they decide they can't back up they can't k-turn and they can't go backwards like they just where they just came through so they get out of the car they run down the flaming hill and get rescued by boaters and it turns out okay i guess that's how we got the footage i'm glad they ended well yeah oh damn it i should have bought in more like i i guess i was totally bought in i'm like do that are they gonna make are they gonna be okay But the fact that footage survived, that's what made the Blair Witch Project not as scary. Didn't they all die? It's found footage.

Yeah, all those people died. I guess I didn't get it. Okay. Maybe his head's not as big as I thought. Yes, I'm a solid counter-argument to your phrenology the size of this frontal lobe it's all full of retard thoughts like dissecting my head 500 years from now they're like nah it's nothing but hockey stats and impressions of retards damn they all say like oh it's not the size of the brain it's the amount of wrinkles on it i've heard that many times i don't know if it's science-based but i'm like but it's the surface

area and the wrinkles add to that right but you'd think all things being equal more size is more surface area i get it wrinkles add surface area quite a bit but so does size a wrinkly big brain's better than a wrinkly small brain yeah neanderthals are smarter than us they had bigger heads that the science is indisputable it's indisputable it's something that i remembered just now to me it's unquestionable. The three-body problem put it forward in an interesting way. Like, I don't know the right answer to this, but how long would you say that human brains have been as capable as they are?

About a quarter million years. No, not that long. That's longer than I would have guessed, but I don't know. It's only been a species. If you had told me 30,000 years, let's say somewhere between 30 000 and 250 000 years right it's a quarter million okay yeah yeah i did that on purpose like that wasn't an accident like somewhere between kyle's guess and my guess is that human brains have been this good but human

advancement is what like 2 000 years like maybe well like,000 you could even argue a lot of it is 400 years you know from the sailboat to where we are now has been a huge advancement like a sailboat i'm saying like columbus sailboat um so i mean how long ago is the actual first civilization we can track it's in like mesopotamia like 7 000 years ago and shit right or maybe in china like 5 000 bc as far as i know yes i don't know what's what well what came before that like you know the fertile crescent mesopotamia the syrians and all that i remember all these words from school what what came before that obviously nothing and those people didn't exist either. Obviously nothing. The world is only 6,000 years old. So I guess if you were to hack the genome so that

humans were upgraded, if you think about the advancement we had in the last 400 years, if you were to devote 100 or 200 years to upgrading the wet work, imagine what would happen to the tech if your brain was literally better.

Well, I think we was literally better. Well, I think we can do that. Um, that'll probably advance real quick. Right. With CRISPR and stuff. I mean, the Chinese are going to do that.

Yeah. There's some Chinese kid whose head is just this fucking big. He can't even hold it up. They've got like straps to keep him upright. And he's thinking of all sorts of, he's obviously Brady. We can all see. Yeah. Yeah. He's new kinds of Szechuan thinking of all sorts of stuff. He's obviously Brady-iac. We can all see. Yeah, yeah.

He's new kinds of Szechuan sauce, all kinds of stuff. Only devoted to traditional Chinese food, though. Yes, yes. Americanized Chinese. He's thinking of all kinds of cool fortune cookies. I went to a... We could use improvement there. One of my good friends is married to a Chinese woman.

She's from China, but she grew up here like still has family there so she goes back and everything she doesn't have an accent or anything but she was like that's called a banana are you not familiar with this? I am not one of my friends is a banana but anyway she was like

oh we gotta take you you guys out it's incredibly offensive when I think about it. Not to him. I have a rice patty pass. So I'm okay. Rice patty pass.

Carry on with your story. We went to a real legit Chinese place in a Chinese community, kind of micro community here in St. Louis. You'll go driving down this road and it'll be like fucking

Lion's Choice, which is like a local fast food place. Burger King, Taco Bell, Ying's takeout place. It'll almost be a metamorphosis. Down this one road happens where it goes from like normal like american stuff to like chinese restaurants written in english to straight up

signs on the side like characters chinese characters on the side of buildings and we get to this one and i'm like oh interesting okay there was a chinese market next door and the wait was a long time so i went in there and like poked around pro tip if you want strange meats or even normal vegetables at an insanely cheap price find your local chinese market because it i was blown away at how cheap this shit was because i'm serious it was insane like this is carrots yeah sure that's that's beef he's whatever you want it to be you want monkey we got monkey where's my dog don't ask there was a whole you know how there's like ramen packets they had that same style but with a clear opening

on the front and it was called squid head and it was just squid heads in there and she said that she used to eat them all the time as a kid and i told her i'll take your word for it looks gross so anyway we go to the restaurant and it's like everyone in there aside from my girlfriend and i and my friend are asian chinese specifically all of them and that's how you know it's legit and it's good like all the talk from other tables not in english i'm expecting great things from this restaurant and the food by the way spectacular so fucking good and the decor though was like what i imagined a chinese person showing up here and just going american decor and just searching that and they had the entire restaurant's wallpaper

was like this wide strips of just street names in New York and it was over and over and over and so it'd be like oh wow Broadway Broadway Broadway Broadway Broadway Broadway Broadway they didn't even stagger them. It was just all the streets over and over. But they couldn't read it. They didn't fucking know. So that was cracking my head. Their drink policy, I was like, yeah, do you have a

Bud Light or something? And they're like, the waitress didn't speak very good English, and she just pointed at a cooler in the corner. And I was like are you gonna get it for me to i go get it i don't i don't want to be rude and like literally my my friend's wife is like going me now i know i don't know but like and then like she said something back and she's like yeah taylor you just hop up and grab your own and i was like oh okay we're on the honor system how many footlights did you have a fucking zero bitch

but i was i was just getting such a fucking laugh the fact that they clearly did like one google search and then just broadway all around the restaurant great food i'll end up going back so uh yeah the chinese taylor are there any cultures where it'd be like oh everyone's speaking in certain native language here this food's gonna suck oh i'm trying to think what's like a british nationality of food maybe but i like fish and chips and that's a fair fallback, and they seem to do that really fucking well. Shepherd's pie, that's solid. They have two dishes that are good in their nation.

Shepherd's. Something that seems gross is beans on toast. What a way to start your day. Just a bunch of beans on toast. Oh, I'd like to have gas in 40 minutes. As I drive my go-kart to my London job.

I didn't know how to start the day right. It's a tiny little car with three wheels. Oh, I've tipped my car again because the fart blew it off its axes. Yeah, that one I don't get. Oh, I'm going to get in a fight over a soccer match hooligans yeah i don't i i actually do think that culture is cool hooligan culture no germans have great food all the worsts i brought the schnitzels schnitzels that's good they got pretzels there pretzels are great they got beer beer cheese. They got big-titted ladies that come around with big beer steins.

With steins. Yeah, steins. There's this new movie coming out that I'm really jazzed about. The Hitler movie? What's it called? It's like Johnny Rabbit or something. I thought you were going to say Johnny Depp as Hitler. He's walking around like he's drunk.

Yeah, it's Jojo Rabbit. Jojo Rabbit. What makes it interesting? It's full of music. The trailer is literally a music video. It's a Hitler music video? Well, the trailer

is... It's written and directed by the guy who made Thor Ragnarok, whose name is unpronounceable Teiko Waititi Teiko Waititi and it looks fucking hilarious it looks to me like it's

I try not to watch too much of trailers but it looks like it's going to focus on this child who's in the Hitler youth and he's being trained he tells his friends he's like oh i'm a soldier you know they have british accents because it's silly yeah i'm a soldier and his friend goes but you're 11 he goes oh no and so like they're they're at like hitler youth camp and who shows up but hitler himself and he's like running with the kid like like like like having fun with him during

the training there's a scene where the kid throws a throwing knife at a tree. It bounces right back and hits another kid and stabs the kid in the thigh. It looks really... We haven't really explored the comedic aspect of Nazis yet. Not thoroughly. It needs to be explored.

It looks like a lot of fun. I'm really jazzed about it. Speaking of Inglourious Bastards, let me see when this comes out. Have you guys seen What We Do in the Shadows? it's out i gotta find this i did i did and i really like what we did what we uh do in the shadows that was a weird vampire movie yeah this is very funny uh this is like he's like they walk through he's like and this is this is victor he is seven thousand years old he's like he just opens the tomb and gives him a chicken then he eats they're not uh peter he's oh i've been watching a lot of deep fakes okay i and uh

my favorite uh do i my favorite one i've watched so far i think might be adam sandler as the bear jew that's a deep fake i'd like to see that you remember the scene where um where the bear jew comes out of the tunnel and he's like hitting the bat on the wall like and then he comes out to finish off the nazi like sergeant or whatever like he's coming but he's making adam sandler goo-goo-ga-ga noises like, go-do-do-do! And when he shows up, you know, they do such a good job. It's fucking Sandler. Let me see where I can find it.

It's probably a fucking music video, too. Deep fakes. You know that a lot of politicians are secretly stoked on deep fakes because they're like, oh, oh, thank God. When that comes out, I can claim deep fake. Yeah, right? No, it wasn't me molesting that kid on little saint james island that's a deep there was a stat that came out that said we had more governors with blackface than we had black governors and i'm like wonder snopes is like yep that's true That's so fucking funny. Yeah. We have more Canadian prime ministers in blackface than we do.

It's full of music, but you can just see from that screen shot right there that that's fucking it. And it makes me wonder how he would have done. I think Eli Roth maybe plays the bear Jew in the movie. But I would have taken Sandler. Sandler's got a new movie coming out where he looks unrecognizable um is it like a drama that he's yeah it looks intense as fuck uh last thing under his little search is grown-ups oh gem uncut gems is that yes uncut gems Oh, Gem. Uncut Gems. Yes, Uncut Gems. Uncut Gems looks insane. It looks like a

real fast-paced... The only thing the Jewish community likes Uncut. It looks like it's going to be really good. I want to see that too um i'm looking forward to some new movies coming out i really enjoyed going to see um what was that movie that we were we all watched uh recently joker joker i really enjoyed going to the theater for that it'd been a while since

a decent movie or at least one that i was interested in had come out that i felt was yeah there's endgame i think we watched this trailer on... That was the one before that, yeah. Yeah, because this looks good. I know I've seen this trailer. I'll see this. Yeah, I saw... That was in the previews at Joker. That's where I saw the preview the first time.

So yeah, I'm definitely down to see that. I could see Joker again. That movie was so good. Yeah, I've told everybody I know. If you want to watch it, let me know. I'll go again. I'll take you, whatever. Let's do it again. See if was so good. I've told everybody I know. If you want to watch it, let me know. I'll go again. I'll take you. Whatever. Let's do it again. See if I missed anything the first time.

Yeah, for sure. That's going to be one of those Blu-rays I definitely purchased right away. It's still so funny that people are ruining those stairs for everyone who lives around them. Like the Joker dancing down the stairs. I looked at the Joker reviews. There were actually a lot of...

It seems to be not a love it or hate it movie, but it's definitely a love it or like it movie. There are a lot of people who thought it was a little one note. I thought it was going to be the only one. That wasn't the case. No, I like that. Maybe. I never really read reviews of movies. I just kind of watch the trailer and see if I think it looks good.

Yeah, I like to form my own opinion. I like to look at the trailer and see if I think it looks good. Yeah. I like to form my own opinion. I like to, you know, I like to look at the reviews and see if it's going to be a real stinker or not. Cause like the, the two movies I just mentioned, I'm going to watch regardless because I think I can tell that these are

going to be good. Just reading these books by their covers, I suppose, or not so much. You see the trailer, you see a lot of it, but sometimes I don't know. And I,

and I like to see like, is it a 3% on Rotten Tomatoes? Because that might be telling. But some of my favorite movies have really low Rotten Tomato ratings. And I think they're really well-respected. Like, whenever I'm on the movie's subreddit, and someone will ask for a good sci-fi horror movie, everybody's always recommending event horizon

and then you look at the rotten tomatoes for event horizon it's like 30 something like that it's it's real shit what's your guys i mean i don't one is hard what's like in no particular order top three movies all time and if it's a if it's a series of movies just name the series so you don't have to split godfather 2 is my number one um the shining is number two and three is probably shawshank redemption i struggle with recency bias a lot when topics like this come up you know like the first one that popped in my head was endgame like Like I really, really liked that movie. But is that just recency bias? You know? Maybe, yeah.

Like think about you as a kid or a young man. Like those. Okay, like old school Star Wars I liked a lot. But I rewatch them and I'm like, oh, this was actually slower paced than I thought it was. It was better in my memory than watching what I'll call the fourth one, which is the oldest one. It's not as good as

I thought it was at the time. Yeah, they're pretty garbage. I would say Lord of the Rings, American Psycho. I really like The Thing. That Carpenter movie. Yeah, That Carpenter movie. Yeah, John.

Yeah, yeah. John Carpenter movie. Kurt Russell. Of all the horror movies I've ever seen, I think that's my favorite one. Because it does a good job of... I love thrillers, but I like the horror aspect. And a lot of the time, the thrillers you see that are really good aren't very scary. It's more just like, what's going to happen next?

What did they just discover? Where are they moving? What did they just got? That kind of thing. This is like a thriller horror that genuinely is scary and keeps you on the edge of your seats yeah the thing is an excellent excellent movie um john carpenter made a lot of cool movies like that i like the the the music i like the the setting um i like all the characters there's a lot of good character actors in there but the practical effects steal the fucking show

the practical effects and that are amazing there's no cgi it's fucking it when when that body fucking he's like he's doing chest compressions on this guy and the guy's entire chest opens up sprouts teeth and and like because he's doing chest compressions his hands go inside the man and the body bites the guy's arms off up to like the elbow it's so fucking crazy i've got my three spooky they're not going to be great people make fun but here it is end game indecent proposal a movie i didn't even enjoy but i was really impressed with how much it made me feel like it moved me and um the first paranormal activity another one not a cinematic great but it scared me like it moved me and that's what impresses me

and that's what i guess i'm judging it by right now in theaters that scared the shit out of me yeah i at the well it scared me more than i let on to the people i was with where they're like everybody's jumping and i'm just kind of like haha bitch i didn't scare me paranormal activity has had me completely engaged and wrapped up and vulnerable to what it was trying to do to me yeah so good movie uh it's uh it's a very good movie uh i think i thought it was excellent too have you ever seen requiem for a dream yeah sad as fuck i was going i'm not sure if if indecent proposal made you feel something and that and and for you that's you that sounds like that's what it sounds like what you're going by like like what makes a movie good is a movie that can make you feel something and have like an actual reaction to it.

And all three of those you named have done that for you. I know because, you know, we talk about Captain America picking up the hammer and that triumphant music and you get kind of choked up, but you're pumped. And then, you know, Indecent Proposal, the sort of emotional shattering that putting yourself in his shoes the the whole uh you know indecent proposal as it were and then what did you say your third one was end game is that the one end oh you did end game indecent proposal and uh and paranormal activity and obviously paranormal activity you have this visceral reaction you know your heart is literally

pounding that scared me so so much when i watched that i have another record for a dream will fit right in there for you i'm gonna write that down have another record for a dream will fit right in there for you i'm gonna write that down i might oh yeah but uh let me know right after the moment you finish it there's another i forget the name of it but i'm positive you guys will know it clint eastwood is in there and he's coaching a female boxer million dollar baby million dollar baby had an impact on me too that That was like, I'm fitting sad. It's like Old Yeller with a white chick. Yeah, that was a really good movie.

There was a scene in there, like it just, it worked on me. To illustrate how passionate she was about this dream, she's learning boxing footwork and she's a waitress. So she's waiting tables this way never crossing her feet like her whole movement around the restaurant was proper boxing footwork because it had consumed her life and it was her passion and it was really good it was a really really good movie so great movie yeah yeah yeah uh clint wood makes some real fucking he's got another one coming out dude's like 90 and i think he's working on a new film. I think we've talked about it before.

That's the mule that you're probably thinking of, and that was last year's movie. Oh, the Richard Jewell movie. That's the Centennial Olympic Park bombing, the 1996 Atlanta Olympics, and Richard Jewell found the

bomb, and he saved everyone. He was like, there's a fucking bomb here! Everybody run! They sent the bomb squad in, they def found the bomb, and he saved everyone. He was like, there's a fucking bomb here. Everybody run. And they send the bomb squad in. They defuse the bomb, and dozens, potentially hundreds of people don't get killed and maimed at the Olympics, and the first thing they do is they're like,

so you found the bomb, huh? Lucky you. Why'd you do it? He's like, what? You're going to love this little tidbit of trivia. why'd you do it? He's like, wait, wait, here's, you're going to love this little tidbit of trivia. The guy playing Richard Jewell, Taylor,

remember the juggalos for life episode of it's always sunny. Yeah. That's him. No, he's the juggalos for life kid. Yeah. He's still got a juggler. No,

I'm a juggalo. Kyle, do you remember that like from real life or were you too young the bombing oh i remember it very well yeah yeah okay yeah i want to say the guy who actually did it fled into like the mountains of north carolina and he was caught he was like on the run for a while and they caught him coming down out of the mountains like fighting forage for food in a dumpster and they caught him that way well i remember richard jewel's name was slurred scarred like damaged scorched earth yeah for sure for a while like it wasn't like they looked at him and then two days later said hey everyone just so you know he's innocent no it was like a footnote two years later like yeah because they looked so bad they're not gonna you know the fbi isn't gonna come and say hey we goofed you know uh best law enforcement agency on the planet but we were

really wrong this time also the entire news media they should probably you guys are coming out next to apologize right no yeah let's just cancel this whole thing it's good because it was fucking cnn and like all the major networks and the FBI. Shit on this guy's name for like a year and a half until he's getting death threats. His life is being ruined. He's hiding. And that's what this movie is about. And in reality, actual, I don't want to throw around the word hero, but saved a lot of people by doing his job well.

Because he was a security guard or something like that. Yeah. And that's Clint Eastwood's new movie. He died at 44 from heart disease. Oh, spoiler alert. Diabetes. He died at 44, diabetes? 2007, yeah.

Dude, I have a local story here in my neck of the woods. Wake County, North Carolina. A football coach. Oh no. Got fired from his job. Did he molest someone? No, he said something racist. So when I first heard it,

I thought like, ooh, that's unfortunate. I wonder what he said, right? Like sometimes people will say something racist and it's not the worst thing you could say, right? And then I was like, well, maybe he dropped the N-bomb. That's no good, right? You're not supposed to do that. I'm an expert on this topic. Well, no.

Turned out this gentleman said, white powerdale i still love you brother but not brother and uh he didn't mean it in a negative way though he says but he did say through the years his friends who are black have said it's okay for him to use the n word he had a hood pass. He said this is the right ads. Yeah. He says he explained to me that this was, quote, locker room talk, which was this is true. I'm not making this up. Locker room talk condoned by his black players. He used while celebrating Friday with friends. Goodness, boys.

I don't know if any of you have ever used the phrase white power outside of this show right here where we like to have a good time. I have not. I have not. No, but he should have said, because he's from Nightdale, was night power. I feel like Trump would have been like,

y'all misheard me. I said night power. He asked what kind of toothpaste I used. I was just telling him, it's white I said night power. He asked what kind of toothpaste I used. I was just telling him it's white power. White power. He misunderstood. It blasts away stains. I would know.

Ask anyone. I've been around them for so long. We're friends. I mean nothing from it. The word can be used in multiple ways. They treat me as any of their own friends. He does seem like there's a little distance there. I don't know him i don't

know what to make of this he's like 12 years of my career ruined in 15 seconds and and through that lens i almost feel bad for him on the other hand who says white power in the n-word and like the same sentence well the most important thing in this is 12 years and he was still the assistant football coach i think it's not panning out for you soon. Maybe you should go somewhere else and do something else. Yeah, this might be a blessing in disguise, brother. I had risen to the prestigious title of assistant coach of the local high school football team,

and all of that was ripped down, torn asunder. Wait a minute, wait. Did they pay you for that job? Well, no, but I don't think it was the pay. Well, Iunder. Wait a minute. Wait. Do they pay you for that job? Well, no, but I don't think this is a payout. Well, I'm an accountant by trade. I need more. God damn it. It's more for fun.

Yeah, you can't say that. If you're not... I feel like certain people should be able to say whatever they want, especially if it's satirical. but this wasn't satire. This was him like making a public statement and it like, like no tongue in cheek. No,

this is how the guy was talking. And he even admits almost in his explanation that like, Hey, I say this all the time. Nobody's got a problem with it. All right. Well, we do.

I don't like him saying, I completely stay away from the N word now. Uh, but I do did used to find the A and R thing a little weird. It's in media. If I read Tom Sawyer, can I still not say it? You can say it if you're reading Tom Sawyer. It's just funny that every top 40 song has it in there a hundred times.

You can't say it if you're quoting someone. Now, I know it was a misquote, but you can't say it if you're quoting someone. Can you say it if you're reading something? The rules are very complicated for me like but the white power thing that was that's not a close call what are you saying i was saying like you're saying like can you read it and stuff and like the like what is it tom sawyer yes like that book where yeah huck finn where it's in there the whole time. And part of the character development is by the end, he's going, oh, you're just Jim. You're Jim.

Okay, Jim, you're not N-word Jim that I've been calling you the entire book. And if you remove that from the book, then you remove the entire character arc, which is him coming to the realization that this is a person i'm talking to that doesn't need a qualifier like that in front of it you're just jim yep you don't need n-word you're absolutely right and so when you take that out of certain like historical texts like that because that is historical at this point like you lose a lot of the punchiness and the original meaning like people right now are like oh that book's like a racist it's like it was literally an anti-racist book

showing the progression of someone growing to realize their past mistakes. Yeah, that was an escaped slave, anyway. I mean, criminal. Jesus. Well, you don't have to argue that point here, sir.

You know, it's the white power that puts it over the end. Yeah, the end word is very complicated, the rules for that. I've simplified them for myself. Just use the B word. Yeah, it's funny. I feel like I'm going to be real loose with it now. Hell yeah, brother. What's up, brothers?

It's all good. But the white power thing, I don't know how he could possibly... What was he thinking how funny would it be if like they're like that's like a 200 year old like school slogan there they're in all white with white helmets he's like chanting that and he's like no no no no George it's because of the uniform You can't say it Jerry You can't say it

Do you know who's doing Steinbrenner's voice You know they always do Larry David That was Larry David the whole fucking time I'm such an idiot I should have been able to hear the cadence I never caught it George Bring these the whole fucking time. I'm such an idiot. Me too. I should have been able to hear the cadence. I never caught it. I never caught it, Costanza.

George. George. Bring these pieces. Or what is it? The calzones. Bring these calzones. You know what? You've got a lot of great ideas. A lot of great ideas, Costanza. A lot of good things we're going to bring for you. Don't walk away. Come on. He never says don't walk away. He just leaves as he's talking.

I love that. My favorite one is where George wants to get fired. He literally takes the World Series trophy, ties it behind his car, and starts doing laps out in the parking lot. Steinbrenner's like, I love it, George. You made a statement. I'm really old and with the new. Forget about

all that. You know what? I never did like Babe Ruth. I found out recently, wasn't even a sultan. He was just a fat man with little legs. He gets these out, and he stands up, puts his leg up on the desk. He's like, these are Lou Gehrig's pants. Oh, I hope that nerve disease he had isn't catching. God, that show.

I can't imagine myself ever getting tired of re-watching Seinfeld. I don't know how they wrote it. The writing is so good here's another example but the episode where jerry and elaine are in some like antique store and he and and she spots one of those uh cigar shop indians one of those big wooden indian guys later on he goes to her apartment to give her this as a as like a peace offering like like because he had like he had done something you know he's always like fucking shit up and her friend she's having like a girl's poker night and one of the ladies there is native american woody doesn't know um jerry doesn't know it and and uh jerry's going he's like rocking the

indian hey yo ho hey yo ho hey yo ho he's like he's like making all these native american like faux pas like i thought we could smoke them the peace pipe. I brought you this. The girl gets super offended, but Jerry's really into her. He goes and he apologizes. She's like, all right, well, I guess I'll go out with you. Then fucking Kramer's driving down the road in

the backseat of a taxi. He's got the cigar shop Indian with him. He goes, hey, Jerry! Woo! She's like, what the fuck? Like every time he's trying so hard not to like. Isn't that the same one where he's like, oh, we'll go for Chinese. Let me ask the mailman if you guys have a good Chinese restaurant.

And the mailman's bent over like doing something. And he's like, excuse me, do you know where a good Chinese restaurant might be? And he's like, oh, why must I know where the good Chinese restaurant is? Is it because I'm Chinese? She's looking at the whole time. He's like, no, it's because you're the mailman. You know the neighborhood. Yeah, it's fucking great.

He got tickets for a show. They were sold out, but I found one of those guys who, you know. She's like, what? You know, the guys who sells the tickets for uh things that are uh and uh and at the restaurant i also at the red i called the restaurant i made a reser um you know i i arranged for a table for like he's trying so hard not to use any of the words then he ended up calling an indian giver at the end dude the best seinfeld bit for me anyway by far was the girl he was dating her and

he liked her but he didn't remember her name so he had people stop by tried to get them tried to get her to introduce herself but she wouldn't and then she dropped a hint that her name was after a female body part yeah and he's he's like uh mulva Mulva? Is your name Hest? Loreola? Or what it actually was? Dolores. It was Dolores. Yeah, after she left, he's like, Dolores.

That was fun. He invites Kramer in. Bovary? Kramer, do you want to introduce yourself? Yeah, Bovary's like, do you want to introduce yourself? To get the name. And Kramer's like, want to introduce yourself to get the name and kramer's like hey cosmo kramer he just fucking leaves her name was gipple

i love when kramer goes on the leonardo da vinci sleep pattern where he sleeps 20 minutes every three hours i feel great cherry i feel great you fell asleep on my couch so oh it's so fucking funny i'll never get tired of that show that it's always sunny south park like a couple others are shows that i just need to give like a year or so time in between and then i can re-watch the whole series and love it yeah i do that in the office so much dude i've seen i've seen the office so so so many times late seasons i don't like re-watching as much. Yeah, the last two seasons are great. First season's not so great.

First season offended a lot. They completely remodeled Michael Scott after first season. Yeah, he was the star of that show. Oh, for sure. No doubt. Well, him, Dwight, and Jim were like the trifecta of funny. Except Jim was more just a straight man. He was never that independently funny. You root for Jim. Jim's your funny. You're root for Jim.

Jim's your guy. You're supposed to see yourself as Jim. Yeah, exactly. And everybody else is like the zany world that Jim and Pam sort of inhabit. If you're a girl watching the show, you might see yourself as Pam. If you're a guy, you probably see yourself as Jim.

And then they just sort of exist in this world of zany characters. Kevin's Kevin. And all the characters are really interesting. I like Kevin a lot. He's one of my favorites. Me like Kevin too. That's so good. I wish I could find like a modern show that's still out that I feel the same way about.

Huh? I guess. Oh, Brooklyn Nine-Nine is pretty good i tried watching that i couldn't get into it like it just didn't make me laugh very hard the only guy i thought was funny was occasionally the very autistic black uh chief who just didn't care what was going on and then andy samberg but even after a couple episodes i was just like yeah i'm like disappointed that andy Samberg and his

wife, Amy, in the show aren't a real-life couple. They're so perfect together. They're written well. Is it still on? Yeah. Still coming out? It comes out in January. Have you guys watched any of the new season of It's Always Sunny? Not yet, no.

I'm up to date on it. Is it depressing? Is it not good? Some good, some bad. They're aging. Who isn't? Mac. Okay. Touche. Mac's looking better than he did in season three.

Is he looking better than last year? Yeah, he got jacked last year. He's still ripped uh they did an episode that's sort of like an allegory for global warming where like they're trying to tell everybody in the bar that hey hey everybody stop dancing around so much that it's getting hot in here the air conditioning you're overtaxing it and we can't afford to turn the air conditioning so low and he's like like and the girl's like but i want to dance he's like well we all want to dance but maybe for the betterment of everyone we don't dance so much maybe a slow dance and she's like

and and you know we're running a little low on liquor maybe instead of 10 shots five shots she's like but i want 10 shots somebody's like you don't tell her what she needs so they've all stripped down to their underwear and max just sitting there like fucking jesus just super duper ripped just it's absurd honestly dennis is in really good shape too like not on the level of mac but like a top five percent body he backs on steroids right i don't know yeah i don't know i want to see i'm getting better at identifying the carmer Usman, that guy? I was looking at his pictures. There is no photographic evidence of that guy not having hard nipples.

He has to be on roids. Who is it? He's the current 170-pound UFC champion. What's his name? Camaro Usman. U-S-M-A-N. Yeah, you look at him. he has hard nipples in every shot yeah cut glass with these bad boys you know what's even harder than uh uzman's nipples

yes i do kevin lee's belly button well that leads us into our sponsor, Blue Chew. Have you seen Kevin Lee's belly button? It protrudes out like a giant nipple in the middle. Instead of a belly button, he has a belly button nipple that just sticks out. It's the grossest thing I've ever seen. I was on poopygirls.com earlier.

poopygirls.com Look at Mac's arm. Looking good. He's got that nice tricep definition. Look at his upper abs. I'm more envious of that core than the arms. Traps aren't huge. They look good. They're defined,

but they're not steroid level. So I think he's just a hard worker. And he throws that girl around like she's weightless in that, in that scene that this photo is taken from when he's fucking twirling her. It's, it's really impressive what he's done. You mentioned a sponsor. Let me tell her about Casper mattresses.

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You know, the Free Folk subreddit? Yeah. They really remind me how bad Game of Thrones got. I almost forget. Like Bran warging into a bird the entire white walker fight like hey guys remember no avail to no avail to no avail nothing come came there were so many plot points that are just like dead ends yeah where they teased so much and paid off almost nothing like like like i always think back one of the big things that i remember was when they were the fist of the

first men and like season one. And I think Sam discovered that underground, like parcel that had like that horn in it and the dragonglass daggers. And it was like, holy shit, this is going to be key to the plot. Never came back up and you know sam getting his dad's sword that that's on the top of free folk right now i saw that too yeah it's sword

and i'm just like they remind me more and more like ah they just so many that it's like lost right lost every episode of lost made me want to watch the new thread that they opened up and then at the end it was just a big frazzled knot like yeah fuck those guys man they really shit and and the they did it on purpose out of greed i'm glad that they didn't they're not getting the star wars project it's like they weren't interested in game of thrones anymore so they just threw it away that's exactly what it was i mean i've said it before on the show but like my bet is that they were locked into a contract for like what they're going to get paid per episode of game of thrones and hbo was like hey you want to do

10 20 more episodes and they're like hit that rate we'll knock it out in six and and meanwhile they've got this other project that god knows what they're going to make because they just came off of the most successful television of all time they just wanted to get out of this current contract just like any any like professional athlete would do the same thing like hey uh you want to play a couple more seasons like no my contract's up i'm gonna go play for the Lakers and make three times as much. Speaking of the Lakers, did you see LeBron's hair fall off? I did.

He's linked me a clip. That sounds funny. It's funny you mention that because there is an actual clip of LeBron's hair falling off. I thought he got plugs. Did he not get plugs? I don't think so. LeBron's hairline has been regarded as one of the best comebacks in all of sports. I thought that it was real, that if you had unlimited money,

you could get really good replacement hair. That's what I thought. It turns out he's been gluing his hair on. Yeah. In this clip, so I think you want to scroll. If you scroll down, there's an image. You can see, and it basically, it like slid up. Like it comes unglued and it slides up.

But in this clip here, I could, I'm on YouTube. It's a one minute and 20 second clip. Hang on. Can we show this footage i don't know with nhl if you show we've shown people shooting like between period goals and the nhl like copyright strikes it like i don't know how much we can show yeah you know like when the fans shoot it in the there's a board in front so there's a small hole we get copyright hit for shit like that all right so so yeah i i agree that this is actual like i don't know what channel but tnt or espn footage is is what this is so so if anyone wants to see

this it's the video is by a youtube channel called php uh and it's it's the title is called lebron's hair falls out during game but doesn't know and then anthony davis lets him know it's a long wordy title but that's what happens like he's got like a um like a uh headband on and and it has slid up and his whole hairline has slid up with it and bunched up like mid head and anthony davis is like hey your fucking hair's coming off and he's laughing fucking hair's coming off. And he's laughing at him. He's laughing at him. And LeBron's like, god damn.

Anthony Davis is one of the few people in the league who can make fun of LeBron. Like they're peers almost. He's younger, so he doesn't have the accomplishments. But he's a very, very good player. Him and us. Okay, touche. But yeah, so I thought he had plugs I thought that they did his hair great it looks so good

it made me wonder if maybe black people hair was easier than white people hair it was so good but I guess it's glued on and the headband took his hair line and pushed it up to where like I don't know what's there like glue and hair residue or something.

I'm surprised that hasn't happened before, if it's just glued on. It has. That's what I've read, that it's happened before. And it's very thin in the back. He's losing it completely. There's no reason for this man not to shave his head. They're losing it a long time ago. Yeah, yeah.

There's no reason for him not to shave his head. First of all, black people look just fine with that look. It's a classic look for them. I yeah like people pull off bald a little better they really do and he's got the beard to to like offset it i feel like guys who have like uh there's a there's a twitch streamer um what is it uh wtf moses okay and uh he's completely shaved big beard looks great or uh b with Babish, the guy who does the cooking channel that you may have seen. He does meals from TV and movies. Same thing. Wings of redemption.

Yeah, these are all equivalent. Yeah. Right? Big, big, bushy beard. Shaves his head. Is Wings still rocking a beard? I don't even know. Yeah.

He's got the chin strap. When you're heavy, the beard helps a ton with the old yeah with with the chin yeah like definition it's facial contouring for men you know what's not good is you can gain like when i'm clean shaven like i've definitely been fat as fuck, clean shaven. But I know I'm getting fat, and I know when I am fat, like clean shaven. I have to rely on thigh and belly looks when I have a beard because it's very easy to hide a bunch of trash right under here when you have a beard. I'm never shaving it.

Well, if I have to, I will. But some people just don't look some people look fucking terrible with beards and some people look way way better with them and every single bit of feedback i've ever gotten from anyone is like yeah that's probably for you you round-headed the equivalent trap for women is stretchy pants they can wear stretchy pants and just be unaware of their gain and then they put on a pants with a you know no stretch in a button and it's like oh oh yeah i i blame these newfangled elastic uh band jeans you can buy not the um not the what are they called leggings or whatever the fuck you're wearing. I wear pajama jeans.

Not the pajama jeans that are stretchy all the way through. They should sponsor me. Do you still wear pajama jeans? Every day. All day. Okay. I have no room to talk. I'm in cargo shorts right now.

They're sick. Dad power. They're still pajamas. They're sick. They look... Before I tell anyone that I'm wearing pajamas, I'll be like, hey, what do you think of these jeans? They're pretty nice, huh?

And they'll be like, yeah, that is a nice pair of jeans. What are those? I was like, how much do you think this pair of jeans cost? And they'll do what Taylor does. I don't know, $8,000, $9,000? It's a funny bit. It never gets old. It never gets old.

What do you think I got this mustang for 70 dollars no 14 14 000 they're fucking pajamas they're fucking pajamas they feel you know there's no yeah i sometimes i fall i took a nap earlier fell asleep in them all the time yeah yeah i sometimes i fall i took a nap earlier fell asleep at him all the time yeah pajama jeans get them on i don't like long pants i i wore long pants today i was grumpy i had my grumpy pants on put you into shorts suddenly i had a better outlook on life you're a barney character oh here comes mr grumpy i might wear shorts all winter i pretty much never wear shorts really unless if i'm working out i'll wear athletic shorts if i'm going to like an event in the summer i'll wear like khaki shorts but as soon as it's like acceptable to wear pants and sometimes not even i go back to jeans like i just

i feel like i look better in g because my legs are so pale and so hairy i might look better in pants too but i'm not more comfortable doesn't tell the whole story i'm literally have a brighter outlook on life in shorts i fair enough i keep going i really have a short person that's where i should be yeah how's your working out been going pretty good i want to run um so i've been i've been doing the calisthenics thing mostly i in some overhead press because i don't really i can't do um vertical push-ups like against a wall or anything so So I do overhead press. But I have this posterior tib, I think it's called, this tendon that goes from your calf to your foot.

I thought it was related to the broken ankle. They say it's not. They say that it's actually just walking around barefoot, flat foot. I have flat feet. And because I don't work outside the house, I exist barefoot almost all the time. And that's

it. Anyway, I have to wear shoes. It's getting way better. I'll go days in between even noticing the problem. I'm hoping to be cleared to run later this month. And I want to run a mile a day for 30 days. I think I've talked about this before. Saw a hot chick on YouTube do it. Said, I should do that.

Because, obviously, hot people on YouTube are experts. I want to see what it does to me. I think if I run a mile a day for 30 days, one, it's like a mile run is not that long. Right? Even a regular, I don't want to call myself, let's say unfit. Even an unfit person like me can get to a mile without stopping in no time at all. The end of the first week, you know, or maybe even the start. Oh, even before that.

Yeah. Right. I might even start running a mile-ish. And, but I think at the end of 30 days, I might glide through it. Right. I might throw in some longer ones. I don't know. I'm excited to see what it does to me.

And I want to make, a little video montage. Like, here I am on day one laying in the grass, and then, like, you know, all right, now I'm on day nine. I got a thing going. Day 22, I'm gliding. Like, let's see how it plays out, or maybe it doesn't work out that well. Well, I don't know.

No, it will. I'm a fucking terrible runner. I could run a mile right now nonstop. Like, it wouldn't be a pretty mile. It would probably be like eight and a half minutes or something like that, but I could do it. Actually, I don't even know. I haven't run a mile in so long.

I know eight and a half minutes is a long time to run a mile. I always think of like eight and a half sixes as good. Right? I think eight and a half minutes, I would be pretty proud of that if that's what I hit. And that would be like a track mile. The mile in my, that I have planned out, like starting at my driveway is a little hilly.

And that'll add to it quite a bit for me. I suck at running. I suck at running. Even the most fit old school version of me didn't run as well as you'd think he might. And then the current version of me just sucks at running. So we'll see how that goes. I'm trying to start soon.

You and I have a similar body type, probably a little different, but just big upper bodies, boxy, wide torsos. And then good birthing hips. I have, I don't know about my birthing hips,

but I think I've got nice birthing hips. That's why that girl made fun of me at 13 Doing this shit Oh what a bitch And you still remember at 13 The one that I You know the slap story you've surely heard it Yeah she'd do this to me

Like I got good birthing hips What a fucking cunt I bet she's fat now and unhappy. No, she's super hot. We have friends in common on Facebook. I mean, hot for 46, but yeah. She held up well. Yeah, well, do you do five by five overhead?

Or do you do something else? I literally just do three sets of 10 or something. I've helped my weight and lowered my reps a little bit. Because when I start a new exercise, I do like a stupid low weight and I do three sets of 12. And I'm just, I'm really learning form and sort of breaking in the muscles. And then as I think that I'm getting good enough

not to hurt myself, I'll raise the weight and lower the reps. That's what they say to do, yeah. Oh. I think they're putting in a Robert Downey jr. For a, for an Oscar man. For what?

Really? For end game. Yeah. Yeah. I think, um, it seemed like they, they didn't want to do it.

Disney wasn't, the article says Disney is submitting the Avengers. Oh, I misread that. Cause it was like a shortened, uh, URL. Disney is submitting the Avengers endgame cast for an Oscar consideration.

Best supporting actor, and they're basically all of them. Everybody from Robert Downey Jr. to Don Cheadle. They're submitting everyone now that I look at it. So it was Scorsese, right, who said that the Marvel movies weren't cinema? He did. That to me is the ultimate okay boomer. Like, oh, if you're not making movies in the style of Taxi Driver like I did in the 70s, it's not really even a movie.

That's a TV show or something. I don't know. Okay boomer. So the way I see it, the Marvel movies are popcorn movies. When you start talking about what a good movie is i think you need to i think that's too um to you're giving too much it's too much of a blank statement so like like like when we talked about movies earlier you interpreted that as which movies do you like a lot which movies affected you a lot and you gave excellent answers because

they were honest answers you know like when i try the the moop for me i'm thinking i took it as what are the greatest films ever created by people and and that's what i gave and they are some of my favorite films but i also like some popcorn movies man i really love super troopers i like dumb and dumber i don't put them up as the greatest movies of all time but i i think there's a lot of roles and a lot of movies that don't get any Oscar consideration and it's bullshit. I think it's bullshit that you never see horror movies up there. Like,

yeah, that's true. I don't even follow the Oscars and I know that meme. I thought that, um, that, that first conjuring movie, I,

I thought that that should have been nominated for something, you know, sound design or fucking special effects or maybe not an acting performance, maybe just best movie. It was amazing. I don't remember what you won that year. Probably something much better. Recently,

that movie about the girl fucking the fish man one. Oh yeah. I didn't watch that, but I do remember that. But the, I heard that was very, I, to me,

like, I wonder if Scorsese's watched enough of these movies to have an informed opinion. I think there's a chance he hasn't. And when I think of Endgame, for example, I don't look at the special effects. I look at the special effects just supporting a story. When Captain America got that hammer, sure, it looked like a real hammer flew through the air.

That's great. But it wasn't the effect of it that got me. It was what it did to the storyline that got me. When Robert Downey Jr. did his thing at the very end, it wasn't the look of the glove that got me. It was what the character did and the completion of his arc. That's cinema to me. Yeah.

Again, I look at them differently. I don't think it was the best movie of the year. I think it's a popcorn movie. I enjoyed it. I liked it a lot. Which one do you think might be the best movie? Can you name them better? Maybe Joker for you.

Maybe you like Joker more. See, I didn't watch a lot of movies this year. But I would have to look at... I would have to really think about it and sit down uh and do some thing joker's really high up there for me there was tarantino did a movie and i didn't watch it do you remember the name once upon a time in hollywood i was in it was locked up when that came out so i'm waiting on that to come out on for on uh flurry so i'm gonna watch it then it can't be as bad as hateful eight i was looking forward to hateful eight and that

was just not i think i like that more than you i think i saw it twice it's 30 minutes too long very much yeah it's 30 minutes too long and uh and there were some choices that i i thought weren't great storytelling wise that may be the first movie he the girl who edit who has been editing for him like forever. I think maybe she passed away and she wasn't part of the editing process for that movie. And, um,

you can get into some film nerd stuff here, but there's a part where they do the flashback and they reveal that, um, that, that one character is down below the floorboards and it really takes away from the, it's not necessary. Cause right after

that he jumped he's into the story like they should have just revealed him rather than using that whole flashback scene it's about 30 minutes too long i really like the whole dommergu storyline i thought she did a wonderful job you know she looks so nasty and she's so uncouth and spitting that blood and like taking a punch like a fucking champ it's great i thought kurt russell's character was very good sam jackson's whole story about mouth raping that guy's son great powerful um but then it kind of lagged in other parts uh i thought christoph waltz would have done a better job in the role of the British character. I can't tell them apart. Yeah, they look a lot alike.

You could tell he was doing his best Christoph Waltz impression. His name's escaping right now, but he's been in a lot of Tarantino movies. He was in the opening scene for Pulp Fiction. But yeah, it was about 30 minutes too long. I thought the other movie was 32 minutes long.

Starring DiCaprio. Similar time frame. The Revenant? Oh, The Revenant. Yeah. I thought that was 30 minutes too long. Not movie related, but my girlfriend went to bed and I can hear my dogs in my kitchen ringing the door, the bell to go outside.

So I'm going to have a bunch of shit to clean up. They ring the bell. Why don't you go take them out and I'll do an ad read bunch of shit to clean up. They ring the bell. Why don't you go take them out and I'll do an ad read. That would actually be good. Thank you. You know, I'll save your linoleum. Kitchen floor, yeah. He owns that house.

Yeah, we don't need Taylor's house smelling of shit. Smart mouth. Speaking of nice odor. Oh, man. Everyone hates talking to someone with bad breath, that humid, awful smell that keeps you from focusing on anything other than finding an excuse to leave. Now, just think about all the times that you were the gross smelly one

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And so she has wrote in here, we've reached a new level of delusion. We're BSing ourselves. I looked at it through a different lens. I feel like if you are single until she's almost 30, right? So let's call her 30. Then sometimes you get sort of like comfortable by yourself and then other people can be an intrusion you like you you've figured out how to be happy alone and you can be self-partnered and it didn't seem so insane to me and i just wonder

what your take on it is yeah i'm gonna have to decide which is here okay she's single and there's nothing wrong with that i don't know why she needs to come up with some other label to shift herself into that she finds to be less offensive. It's almost like she doesn't like being called single because it's almost like, that means that I'm missing a piece. Everybody else is rolling double and I'm just all by myself. First of all, if she didn't want to be single, she wouldn't be single. Second of all and we all know that we all know that you're you're a rich famous beautiful person all right yeah easy to get laid 99 of the male population is down and a good 60

of the female population is too probably you know like like you could make that happen i don't understand her need for that it it almost seems like she's it almost seems more self-conscious it's more descriptive to me though it's like i'm uncomfortable in my own skin at this point did you just say you're asexual i feel like that's what that's what her deal is like maybe she just isn't into like being with anybody i didn't i didn't associate self-partnered with celibate. I just associated it with happy by yourself.

I don't know. I've never been a big fan of her. She's pretty. But I feel like Miley Cyrus would be a whole lot more fun to hang out with than Emma Watson. Miley Cyrus' voice is fucking hot as shit to me. She's cool. That song in particular,

she kills. Yeah. She's very good at that. I like her speaking voice. It's kind of rough and, uh, and, uh,

it's, it's unique. She's got a very unique sound and she's one of those, she's so talented, you know, and, I find her to be very attractive. And,

uh, I saw her on, um, the tonight show with Jimmy Fallon and they do this game where you hit a spinning wheel type thing, and it gives you a song to sing and a style to sing it in. And she just knocks it out of the park. Really impressive vocalist. Do you think that game was not rigged?

I think it's rigged, but still she's singing the songs and she probably i don't think knew the order of the song and style like but she still did it yeah exactly yeah i don't think that because they're really putting you on the spot and with something like this night show it's not time we are burning the seconds away you know we've got all right we've got 90 seconds and then we'll go to a commercial break and they mean it and so I think they brief her before and he's like hey do you know the words to ignition but you know and

and yeah yeah I know the words are oh yeah you don't know the words all right well memorize them real quick it's a simple song they're definitely doing that yeah Ariana Grande is even more impressive than her have you heard her? Is she the hot one that dated the SNL dude or the fat one?

Very hot. Okay. She's Italian. She's a little petite girl. Yeah, yeah. And she can sing and she does like impressions, not impressions. She sings like Celine Dion or Whitney Houston. She did it on SNL once. They pretended the radio station was broken or something

and she had to do that. They're like, can you do Britney Spears? I don't know. I'll try. She's like, oh baby, baby. She just nails it. When she does the Celine Dion thing, she's doing the little sign-offs that

Celine does in French. She's got all the mannerisms down. It's incredible. That's what she loves. I don't even know who the hottest actress is right now. I'm always 10 years behind. Who's the hottest actress in all

of Hollywood? I named some 33-year-olds. Helen Mirren. Those jugs. Helen Mirren is still kind of attractive. She's got some like 33 year old. Helen Mirren. Yeah. Ooh, those jugs. Helen Mirren is still kind of attractive. She's got some big old titties. Was she in 300? Who am I thinking of? No. No, Helen Mirren's 74. Oh, Jesus Christ. Helen Mirren was hot in the 70s.

I'm thinking of the woman that was also in Game of Thrones and she was in 300. Yeah, that's Lena Headey. Yeah. I'm not good with late model actresses' names. Late model. Early model. No, you call late model,

like a late model car is like a new car. Oh, okay. Yeah. But I'm not great with their names. It takes me a while to to commit a celebrity to my my encyclopedia of movie people knowledge yeah they don't they don't just get right in sometimes other people recognize an actress is like one percent hot compared to other hollywood people and i'm like i don't see it and then two or three roles later it's like yeah you guys were right she's totally hot thanks for covering for me with uh the advertisement well i could take yeah we don't

how are their dogs are they growing are they happy are they still nervous uh they're growing definitely do you hate them no not at all they're a lot of fun i really like having them around like they're it's a little annoying. Sometimes I'll be sitting there. Like I was trying to play age of mythology the other day and it was just me at home. And like, I'd have to pause the campaign over and over just to make sure that they weren't shitting around the corner. But that phase is ending because they're really not doing that anymore. Like only if you just forget to take them out or if you're like will they pee like they really don't poop in the house or anything anymore like they're pretty good at

ringing the bell like they're growing but at a glacier rate of growth where it's like one of them was six seven six and a half or seven and a half pounds and they've gained one pound so they're like eight and a half pounds now i think and the other one was like eight pounds and now he's nine and a half pounds so they're both teeny tiny little fellas but uh yeah pretty much as soon as i let them out one of them pissed and the other one shit and then like four or five minutes later they reversed roles and the other one shit and the other one pissed. It should be good for a bit. That's an area where big dogs are strong. The peeing. My dogs, I think I could leave them

for 17 hours and they wouldn't pee in the house. Big dogs are good that way. They say like a small dog thing. They need to be at least like six, seven months old before they can be trusted to hold it for most of the day because their bladders are so small. They're only like five months old now.

So they're getting there. This is one of my favorite actresses currently. Yeah, she's in Jarvis. Oh, she was in... Oh, wait, no. I was thinking Zombieland, but that's not right. She was in Kick-Ass. Kick-Ass, that's what I'm thinking.

Yeah. She was way, way younger in Kick-Ass. She was like a kid. Still hot, Taylor. She was born in 97. She was like 11. 13 in 2010. Ripe.

Ripe. Ripe. Oh, the dog. So, Kyle, when when we streamed together they were talking about dogs and cats but i actually didn't see the benefit of cats and one of kyle's friends illustrated it really well he's like dogs are a pain in the ass they're always like like sure they're loving up on you and stuff and that's nice but my gosh like they they need so much attention i think of it i'm like yeah like i've had dogs where they want you to throw the ball again and again and again and again. Cats can say, hey, look, I like you,

but we don't have to make a big deal out of it. And sometimes that's nice too. Like they open my eyes to where cats can be good as well. I can see that kind of, but also like when I come in my garage and I walk into the kitchen and well the linoleum floor is good for that well when i get home for the day i bust in my garage and then i walk through the door into my kitchen and like they're in like the caged off area in the kitchen

and they kind of like and they see that i'm home and they start like wagging their tails so fucking hard. And they're just to them, they're like, Oh my God, I didn't know you. Where were you? Were you ever going to come back? It's been, I'm a dog. So it's either been four minutes or a thousand hours. I don't know how long it's been, but like that, like little feeling of like, Oh, you know, maybe I had a stressful day, a rough day, a lot of stuff to put up with and deal with and, and, and shit. And you get home and it's like, Oh, that's kind of nice rough day, a lot of stuff to put up with and deal with and shit.

And you get home and it's like, oh, that's kind of nice. They're just stoked to see you. They love you. It's nice. I really like having them. Yeah, I love dogs. I absolutely love dogs. I hate cats.

I wouldn't kill a cat. I wouldn't kill a cat just for the fun of it or anything. Yeah, me either, mostly. That's the level of – Wow. That's the amount I it or anything. Yeah, me either, mostly. That's the level of... That's the amount I like a cat. Well, I wouldn't just kill you like an insect. See, I'm still team dog, but

an animal that I'm good with, that loves up on me every once in a while, maybe every other day, and isn't a pain in the ass, I can see the appeal of that, too. Cats will eat you if you die in your home. If it waits until I die, then I'm okay

with that. You could still be stroking out on the ground and they'll claw your eyes out. You won't even be dead yet. Well, that's not nice. No, not at all. Dogs will wait until their borderline starving before they start to eat you. I don't know if they'll eat you even

then some of them won't they might just starve like okay tyler tyler make me kibbles i've seen dogs like lay by a grave or a dead owner or something like it's sad but that it is i like i like seeing them like these two dogs like they have the same dad like they look a little different because one of them had like a more poodle-y well no they had different moms but then also one of them the smaller one will like start to like

I haven't seen it yet but my girlfriend swears she's like sometimes when they're playing Teddy will start humping Fozzie and I'm like we will not have gay incest that's, we will not have gay incest. That's something we will not stand for. Taylor has their ass checked out by the colonoscopist. Proctologist.

He has the proctologist ensure that there's still virgins. I went to the colonoscopist. I like watching the little games they play. Like the, like one of them will see that the other one is on like the desirable spot on the couch right next to me and so the other one will run into a corner of my living room and like pretend like oh wow didn't know this was here and like feign like chewing on something or like a toy that they already had until the other one's like

well i'm not about to miss this and then they'll jump down and when they get over there the other one just sprints over and takes the spot and i don't know it's neat seeing like i'll be at low you know because they're dogs level of well that's actually not that low intellect that's pretty smart like knowing that there's something desirable feigning interest in order to get them to do what you want did you see that dog the other day that had like 20 different buttons that said words and he would communicate by pushing the fucking buttons? I was very skeptical on that. I haven't seen that.

Yeah, he was like, want ball outside. And I'm like, I don't know about that. I don't know. Like I just questioned that he's really forming sentence. Like he hits the button and goes, want. And he goes, ball! Outside! And she's like, oh, you want to go play with your ball outside?

He's like, ha ha ha ha. Yeah. As if if he had hit something else and you offered a ball, he'd be like, no. No, I don't want that. Murder! Death! Kill! Ooh.

We shouldn't have put those buttons down. The buttons weren't a good idea. Banksy's a little violent, I think. I think he is. But yeah, the dogs are doing well. I'm really enjoying them hanging out and everything. They're pretty good for the most part now. It was like a weird learning curve where the first month or so,

month or two maybe maybe I was like, these little fuckers are never going to stop going in the house when I ignore them for like two seconds. And then now it's like, Oh wow. Well that changed really fucking quick. Like they've kind of put the pieces together. Jackie and I got dogs too.

And I think we were open about the idea that we were sort of like trial parenthood, you know, like let's just see how this fits with dogs uh before we have kids kids and uh i think we had kids like well we had pregnancy like six months later so we'll be watching your progress taylor i mean i've said before it's only a matter of time because we are not using anything other than the pullout method so really this all is on my shoulders to be responsible at that in those in those last few seconds so i'm trying not to react lots of good decisions happens in those sentence to me

you might as well have just said well well, I've been experimenting with black tar heroin. And I'm going to tell you, the thrill of sharing the needle with the guy I buy it from, I mean, rolling the dice. I mean, I'm rolling the dice all the time. So we'll see. Eventually, that house of cards will come crumbling down. I would prefer that you were on black tar heroin. Pull out method is pretty effective if you actually pull out.

I think the reason the pull out method fails is people don't pull out. I hope you're sterile. Oh, well that's terrible. But he sees it in a good way. That's something that he'd like to have himself and thinks that you would enjoy it as much. That's something that he'd like to have himself. And thinks that you would enjoy it as much.

I hope you're staring. That's coming from a completely selfish place. Don't worry. I was driving today. We can't play video games together. I swear to God, I was driving today and I was thinking like, yeah, in a year or two I'll be able to go on one of those cool vacations with Taylor. Unless he has fucking children.

Can't look to your wife while she's holding a little toddler in her hands and go hey i'm going on a smokecation with kyle ask yourself what would trump do you could do anything she would understand because that is a work trip honey i have to go to colorado and get high with my friends oh you're gonna be i thought you're gonna be less honest like oh we have a new uh walmart distributor in freaking colorado i'll be with my business is sending me there for this many days i would straight up say no i'm for content for to do the show for all that we're gonna get nice and silly out in colorado spend a lot of money on magic cards and forget most of them there oh i took them with me i'll tell you taylor i don't think it's a bad idea to establish the mancation precedent early in the marriage

like i have lots of friends who if they wanted to do the mancation thing it would be a no and some guys will see that and be like yeah yeah, I can't imagine a relationship like that. But a lot of that's not an uncommon thing. The guys can't just go leave their wives at home to handle all the shit when they want to. But lay that precedent down soon. Yeah, I feel like I already have probably explicitly, but probably passively. I mean, I brought up the day she I mean, she talked back, but right away popped her in the nose. And I don't make a big deal out of this, but I can kick her ass. I'm getting quick.

With my backhand. Yeah. Big, meaty backhand. Ladies like it when you get violent with them. They'll say they don't, but when the police come around, they never say a word.

As they're crying on the ground. But you know, I read between the lines. Yeah, that would be another smokation. That would be a lot of fun. I'd like that. Yeah. I want to go skiing this time.

I'll go sledding. Last time. No, skiing skiing i was so bummed last time because i was like i was convinced because we'd talked before it with like you and chiz and i was and you guys were like we're not fucking skiing we're not doing that and i was like on team let's go skiing and i was like i'm to be able to convince them to go skiing. I'll be able to convince them. And I was not prepared for the united front of Kyle and Chiz, the stern no. You might as well have asked. Hey, guys. Hey, guys. Let's go get rectal exams. I know a guy.

I know. Well, no, he's not licensed. Come on. It's going to be fun. No, he doesn't use gloves. It's better that way. Trust me. It's all natural. It's going to be fun. No, he doesn't use gloves. It's better that way. Trust me. It's all natural.

He's going to get in there deep. Tell me more about this. I might be dead. Dude, you would love skiing. Once you got up there and you were soaring down. You didn't want to do my thing? Taylor, I've gone skiing with Kyle. I don't know if you might have forgot this.

We went to Vermont and we went skiing. And in spite of the fact that Kyle's a fairly athletic build dude, skiing didn't agree with him. Like his ankles were hurting and worn out early in the day. There's something about like the way my knees are shaped or the way my ankles are shaped or something where it literally has to be a fucking medical issue where like my inner ankle becomes excruciatingly.

He was suffering early on on like an hour into it like it yeah i wanted to do it ice skating as well like yes so bad so bad it so and i've broken that ankle twice and like i would love to ski i'd love to learn to do it it's it's the sort of thing i enjoy it's like like i love being out in the cold. I love the snow. I want to ski. I'd like to go fast because it looks like when you fall, it doesn't even hurt all that badly. I would love to go skiing and learn to ski and get good at it. But I think maybe I could be convinced to do it, but I would have to snowboard because I think you can just wear boots and those just buckle in. And I know that snowboarding is harder harder and I have no skateboarding experience,

but I think that's the only way that I can do that sort of sport without really having like an actual issue. Yeah. You can always try snowboarding. Like you go way slower, which not as fun, but yeah, I feel like an asshole telling people I don't want to do it because I want to

do it. And it is one of those things where like, we're here, we're here, we should do it. But, but like I, I, I literally can't, I would fucking settle for sledding. you're like, we're here. We're here. We should do it. But I literally can't.

I would fucking settle for sledding. I just like going fast on the snow. It's a lot of fun. Dude, you weren't there on the trip where we went sledding. We had one of Kitty's friends had a big SUV, like a 4Runner or something. And we tied a rope to it and got in a big inflatable donut type thing. And there's some video somewhere of like chiz eating shit he's on that thing going like 35 miles per hour around a snowy corner and that thing like

does that thing where it like hits a bump and so the next time it hits a bump it's dope it's it's like you know super bounce like a trampoline he's like zoom zoom and he just sails five miles an hour on a sled feels like you're going mock one mock one like he gets up and his beard's all full of snow and he's just like that was awesome that was a great fucking time but you didn't want to do the silly thing that chis and i wanted to do last time but i the uh the sensory deprivation tank oh yeah that sounded like kind of boring i've heard it's like a trip no people do drugs in the tank i don't know if that was part of the plan but that was part of the plan we're gonna i was i thought we should do edibles which is incredibly potent and then you get in the sensory deprivation tank you're in it's it's a very high salinity uh water so you float and

no audio, no, you're complete. You're locked in there like a, not locked, but the lid is closed. So it's complete darkness, complete silence,

and no like tactile, like, like senses whatsoever. Cause you're floating in that salty water. And then to be on something too, you know, you could go on some sort of a weird, weird trip. I thought that's some paranoia to

a sensory deprivation tank that's great it doesn't make me it doesn't make me paranoid either like i being silly i get there were times on that smokation where i was like like in the thing with with weed compared to alcohol is like if you take 15 shots of vodka or something, you're not going to be able to explain magic, the gathering to your friends for the, you're just not going to be able to, but there was times like sitting there at that like shitty little table with like Kyle and she is like,

I was first like explaining the magic thing. And we'd like, like I went like a little, I guess overboard with the edibles. Cause I was so excited being in Colorado. Like, Oh, this is all legal. Oh like a little i guess overboard with the edibles because i was so excited being in colorado like oh this is all legal oh a little pill neat a little chocolate square well it's only this much and like just trying a bunch of stuff and there was one time just sitting there like as i was like explaining tapping to kyle or something where like, like the world slowed down for me as I was like,

I was like hunched over explaining the game and it hit me like kind of suddenly. And in my head, like I was with it enough to have like a cogent moment of like, you can either forge through this moment right now or you're going have to go to bed yeah and i was just like like and like it was like a movie where like it come came back to me like and my like my next line i still remember it was no kyle you have to tap it's spent and then i was like it came to me like you're okay you're fine and then that little mental

realization was like oh oh i was being silly just there okay but it was like a crossroads yeah if i if i had been like if i had stood up then and been like i'm done i would have had to like go to bed and i would have passed out for like 11 hours just yeah edibles are edibles are no fucking joke yeah i that was still fun though i love that like like i don't i mean i don't know how i feel about it i'd just rather smoke you know 90 90 percent of the time like they're fun occasionally and they're fun to do as a group so because everybody starts kicking in at different times and you get a real good read on different people's like uh metabolism is this like you're like an hour in and i'm just like oh this is kind

of rough huh guys and everybody's like what what are you talking about you're not you're not freaking out right now no like four hours later like my girlfriend be like i don't feel so good where am i just now now it's kicking really bitch yeah this clip Chiz just sent, I watched it earlier. Show me your ID. I didn't watch it. That is... That guy has... That's on the winstupidprizes

subreddit. I don't even have the preview in Discord. Oh, wait. It's on Public Freakout for me. Actually, I'm on Public Freakout too. Honestly, I prefer to watch the public freak out video because the one above is

is a guy getting his legs broken really badly that's the one I didn't watch that one yeah and the one below seems to be like some sort of police brutality let's watch the one without the to be some sort of police brutality. A little more fun. Let's watch the one without the guy getting his legs broke.

Okay. I'm cued at zero on this police brutality nonsense. 72,000 upvotes in two days. Seems rather popular. Count it. 3, 2, 1, play. Wow. Wow, that cop has already ripped this guy's...

He's dragging... Oh, now we show how we got there. What's going on? I'll be happy to tell you once I see what I'm talking about, alright? Oh, one of your phones, maybe. I need you to let me know, like, what's going on. Like, what happened? Like I said, I'd be happy to tell you once I see information.

I'm not giving you my information until you tell me what you put me over for. He's refusing to show his driver's license until the cop tells him why he pulled him over. It's an arrestable offense, okay? So you can either do this the easy way or the hard way. Alright? I need to know what you're putting me over for. He's choosing the hard way.

I got information, but I'm not giving you my information until you tell me what you put in your ID. Bold stance, Kyle. Either give me your ID or you go to jail. How about that? Put this on camera, man, because you're not dealing with this. He's telling his girlfriend to start recording.

I need to know why you put in your ID. I hope there's no shooting. She says, give him your ID. I'm going to stop. Give him your ID Last chance He is giving a lot of chance I'd be happy to tell you you sir are you a lawyer sir and uh... and

and and okay skirt out report for you uh... I love this cop. I'm going to tell you what the deal is. You're probably suspended, so you don't want to give me your license. So, am I free to go? No, you're free to go. This is an investigatory stop, alright?

Alright, here's the deal. For all I know, you could be trying to kill me right now. You're absolutely ridiculous, alright? Keep watching. Alright, step out of the car. I'm excited. I'm nervous. Oh, I'm excited. I'm nervous. Oh, I'm excited.

This guy deserves whatever he gets. Traffic stop, you show me your license. Great. Hands on the wheels. He's putting on his window breaking gloves. He's putting his gloves on. Now you're coming out. Now you're coming out! They're about to drag this man-

Can you make out her words? I thought that was him. I thought he just reached a much higher pitch. Now he's being drugged from his vehicle. Oh, they're getting him out. For someone who's saying he's getting out, he's not getting out. Oh, he's a big fellow. That's alright, Woody. There's three or four of them.

There's three going on four. I bet he finds that neon belly uncomfortable. It's like Ron White said, I don't know how many of them it would have took to fork my ass, but I know how many they would have used. Apparently four got it done. Four handled it nicely. I want to learn the status of his license. Well sir, everything checked out. Why didn't you give it to us yet?

All right, this all looks good. You have a nice day, sir. What about my window? That guy... He's not good at compliance. No, I would say very bad. This is in Michigan. Yeah, I had no problem with what the cops did they didn't even overdo it right like if they had pulled

him out and started beating on him while saying stop resisting that'd be a different situation but all they really did is a little neon back pressure i'm sure he didn't like it but he looked uninjured at the end of that. Yeah, he was more upset about the fact that he's going to jail. Well, that was a choose-to. He definitely didn't. What would happen if he gave him... You think it was probably suspended?

Like a suspended license? The cop said that. That was the cop's theory. I was wondering what you guys thought. Warrant? Oh, yeah. That's probably the best one yeah who knows i mean the loss he has to provide his identification if he's driving a car now if he's walking down the street he doesn't you can you can refuse to give him your id if you're walking down the street but he's operating the fucking motor vehicle yeah he's got a he's got to show id he has to show proof that he's a he's licensed fucking driver privilege yeah yeah there's an aclu complaint but bullshit i

call bullshit on this one and i'm the first one to to call nonsense on like a like like what are they what is that subreddit um bad cop no dad cop no donut yep yeah yeah i i really hate police brutality and then you know i hate police bullying right there's a certain there's i think a common attitude amongst policemen that everyone else is a little less than them they are the you know the the super group but everyone else is this lower class of civilian and they just feel like they can walk into your house when they want to they can beat you up when they want to. They can do anything they want to. They're cops.

They're better than us. They're in charge. And that kind of stuff, it can go too far. And it's pervasive amongst a lot of cops. I agree. And there are cops too. Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, I definitely agree with you 100%. I don't like that either. A lot of cops do seem like bullies. And I think that's because they were bullies previous in life. That or they were bullied previous in life. And they're like, oh, I'm going to get a badge and a gun and take care of this. I think the being bullied thing is just

as likely. Yeah, exactly. One part of that transaction they probably had. We were playing with my friend Mitty the other night playing COD. He had some good games. He's working in loss prevention at a store right now. And you're supposed to be hands off. He's like in loss prevention at a store right now. Okay. And you're supposed to be hands off.

You know, he's like a security guard who's like, ah, crime. Let me call someone. He, uh, nobody knows his real name. He watches monitors and, you know, listens to podcasts while he's watching the bank of monitors like Batman in his office. Yeah. while he's watching the bank of monitors like Batman in his office. Yeah, and if anybody does some crime, he calls the real police. Or I think he'll actually,

if he sees someone doing something suspicious, maybe he'll go out and stalk them a little bit and confirm that they're doing a crime and then call the cops. But I guess his partner or co-worker thinks he's Dudley Do-Right or something and just took a guy out the other day really like tackled some guy like took him to the ground good for you yeah yeah i thought that was he rewarded or chastised for that behavior like 50 50 like the guy was an actual

thief stealing some shit and like the cops got there right away and like you know i i guess they gave him like a pat on the back like oh you got him congratulations you know and that was that but i don't think you got any trouble uh it's um like a department type store like a big retailer i think it's maybe even like a home depot or something similar to that like like okay some expensive tools and such around i didn't get the well this gentleman is stealing two running chainsaws. You can handle him. He seems fit. I don't know how to describe it, but it doesn't seem like this is the first time he's handled two chainsaws.

Which one is it? The one with the old school hockey mask. It's like 6'8 and terrifying. Is it just me or do British gangsters or hooligans or whatever seem less intimidating? Right? Not this again. I'm sure it's not.

Is it just me? God. Yes. I see like six people picking on a girl in a movie and think if I was there, I'd beat up all those pasty fucks on her behalf. They would take off their caps with razors in it and swish you right across the face. Then they'd have a nice beans on toast to celebrate.

What does he know about fighting? Yeah. I mean, I don't know. There's a couple of... I mean, I wouldn't... They're still tough. I'm sure they are. Like, intellectually, I know. There's a couple of, I mean, they're still tough. I'm sure they are. Like, intellectually, I know I'm wrong, but emotionally, this freaking pale skin, slightly chubby, cheesy. Okay, pale skin.

You see a bunch of Eastern Europeans or Russians in track suits doing that. Do you feel as confident? No, no, no. Those guys would fuck you up you do you know how much strength it builds to not have public benches to always be squatting every day is leg day every day is leg day they run like jackals just like a ring of tangs they call that a slav sprint

that'll be funny one day when they're doing the sprint and like someone in fucking Ukraine finally figured out like so you can so you can use the entire all four limbs in this it's like well that's unorthodox I mean the Kenyans who have won

this every year for the last since we included kenya is uh they're doing very well on two legs they're going to start dominating they're going to figure out their frog-like propulsion they're going to use some sort of leopard stride they will yeah it's just a leopard stride. They will. Yeah. It's just a leopard stride where their hands are finishing behind where their feet leap. Like curling. And here we see how the Slav maintains its incredible speed. Fueled on nothing

but anger at the late Soviet Union and vodka. I'm told even his house had no chairs. He makes his way quickly for the metal bat in the back of the Russian. He did not see a chair until he was a mangrove. Kyle, have you watched the Netflix thing, King? No, it's on my watch list.

I'm watching this terrible show called Mars right now. I'm in the second season of it. I'm already invested, so I'm going to keep going. I was hoping you would be my tour guide. You know, I watched the fucking trailer for it, and it got me pumped because there's a part where it's one of those trailers that's like kind of snappy, and they've got like three voiceovers going simultaneously, and it's like,

he rose from nothing and became everything and then it's got the guy's like yesterday i was a pool boy and now i'm the king and then there's like a third like audio track going i can't remember what the king's name is but let's just say it's richard richard richard richard they're like chanting and there's like a and he's like getting suited up and getting his sword like doing that fucking swishy thing i haven't seen it so i might have the plot wrong but it appears that he goes from a party or prince to a war king overnight kind of like all of a sudden he goes from an irresponsible party prince to a king leading battles and uh so that's part of it. Also, there's a Netflix YouTube video

that's 10 minutes long. I didn't watch it because I didn't want spoilers. That explains it to you, which implies to me that it's more complicated than a typical TV show or movie. So I don't know. I'll have to watch it and develop an opinion. Oh, shit.

Yeah, I'm definitely going to watch this. I'm on the trailer right now uh-huh it looks great i i love the part when they're chanting his name what is it is it richard dick dick king henry yeah it's like it's like it like like every scene is punctuated by one of those he's like i need men around me that i can trust and then you get like a quick scene of like a dozen knights putting their like spheres forward and then you hear king henry this is the time that my life actually matters and then you see like a guy do a sword flourish and it's like king henry i'm just like i'm pumped as shit i wish this guy was a baseball team i'm gonna watch it when we're done here, actually. I'm pumped.

The Atlanta Kings, they make the playoffs and lose every other year. Boo! Boo hiss. I don't even know who won the World Series. The Nationals, right? I know who won the Stanley Cup. Minnesota.

St. Louis is off to a good start. I think they had the second best record in the league, maybe. Are you telling me hockey's on again? Yes. It just ended. Well, it just ended for us because we won the Stanley Cup, and I kept talking about it the whole time. Three months later, it started again. Now,

Blues first place in the Western Conference because we were one point ahead of the Edmonton Oilers. Edmonton Oilers were second place in the conference. Isn't that fucking crazy? They're still second, but we took a bigger lead. Kyle's blown away by that, yes. And I think in the East,

Boston is a true force to be reckoned with this year, but they were last year, and look at how that ended up. Ha-ha! Boston was the second best team in the league. Second best in the league, and nobody remembers second best. And that's a feeling blues fans know very well because nobody also remembers fifth sixth seventh eighth ninth or tenth best which is where we finished up until last year but uh yeah i'm i'm stoked that hockey's back on super

excited about it i watch every game i can uh it it's so frustrating when there's like i know it's just my bias speaking, but I'm always like, why do they schedule every game for Thursday night? It's not on tonight, but I got to watch the last two. But anyway, yeah,

we won't talk about hockey because nobody gives a fuck. It's still too early in the season. But yeah, I'm hoping the blues really collapse and fall apart soon. Become terrible. Wait until January, maybe even early February, then surge back. We're not going to. Tarasenko broke his shoulder, and so he's out for the entire season. Playoffs, too.

Oh, yeah. He's supposed to come back like three days before the playoffs. I'm sure he'll be 100%. Yeah, exactly. And so it's like, fuck, our best goal scorer is out for the entire season. back like three days before the playoffs and so i'm sure he'll be 100 form yeah exactly and so it's like fuck our best goal scorer is out for the entire season so and then we lost one of our good veterans last night he uh had a high ankle break or something so he's out for like a month or so issue yeah i had he's like 35 and so he's not not a spring chicken in the NHL. I had that too. Yeah. At 35.

You and Alexander Steen are very similar. The people mix this up all the time. You're both professional Swedish hockey players. You know how you say early season, nobody cares, right? So I'm watching the Sixers, and they're all like, I think they'll be like second best in the East and maybe seventh best in the league. And they started off 5-0. And meanwhile, they're like, huh, 5-0?

That team you thought was better is 4-1. Get the fuck out of here. You don't know anything about basketball. The score's posted. I don't know why we're playing the rest of the season. I love following the early parts of hockey, just similar to what you do with basketball, I'm sure, where it's like early in the season, red wings fans were like yep four wins zero losses one

overtime loss guess we're not as bad as everybody thought boys and they've lost like 10 in a row or something retarded they just plummet right to the bottom and now now they're like, well, you know, guys, we got a storied history to look back on. Yeah. We'll switch topics quickly. I promise, Kyle. No, no, keep it coming. The Sixers have lost either two or three since they went 5-0.

Oh, the Sixers. It's true. If we're looking for a new topic, I outlined a little Bible tale for us. It's been a hot second. Oh, I'd love that what what are you going to regale us with today taylor i was gonna do easter but i wanted to do something a little less common knowledge and so are either of you familiar with the tale of shadrach meshach

and abednego wait wait say it again shadrach meshach and abednego yeah it's uh kyle does know it i went to church yeah no i legit thought he made up an eeny meeny miny moe type of thing no go to go to uh daniel three through six i think is where yeah i know because i reread it uh reread it please don't tell me the story and i just disappointed my parents yeah no and your parents And your parents, Mr. and Mrs. Woody's parents, I dare you to find one thing wrong with this. One factoid wrong with this. So basically, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, three Jews hanging out in the Old Testament. And this is one of the many times that the jews or the state of israel was just getting uh or maybe judah at the time i don't fucking remember they were

just getting butt fucked by whatever powerful people there were at the time there were the babylonians like assyrians like all throughout the ages this was a babylon time and so they were under the thumb of king nebuchadnezzar the original chad and king nebuchadnezzar, the original Chad. And King Nebuchadnezzar was, he had his hanging gardens of Babylon. Like they were the most powerful empire in the world, in their known world at the time. And he had all this dope shit. And he had so much extra gold sitting around

that he was like, you know what would be tight? I'm gonna build a 90 foot solid gold statue of like myself or some like guy who's kind of like me there are some you know god they don't even like really say what it was and so he built some dope ass statue gold 60 cubits high and what six cubits wide and i looked that up that's like 90 feet high and nine feet wide like a cubit is apparently like one and a half feet. Okay. So this is a lot of gold. It's a real flex on the rest of the world.

And so he builds this and he's so stoked on it that he invites all of his, I don't remember all the words I read them down, all of his officials from the kingdom, governors, senators, satraps, I assume some kind of mayor, judges, treasurers, everybody from every corner of the Babylon the kingdom, governors, senators, satraps, I assume some kind of mayor, judges, treasurers, everybody from every corner of the Babylonian kingdom, all the high ranking,

you know, hullabaloo people show up. And they're like, you're right. You're right, King Nebuchadnezzar. This is, this is really cool. And he's like, it doesn't stop here, guys. Anytime you hear music from, and I'll read this list, I'll just read what the town crier said. Nation and people of every language, this is what you are commanded to do. As soon as you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipe, and all kinds of music, you must fall down and worship the image of the gold king Nebuchadnezzar. And so, first of all,

pretty sure a lot of those instruments are made up. So he sends all the governors and everybody back. They relay that same message. And Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, they weren't just like three random Jews walking around the street in like shitty ass sandals. They had like, not the overruling part of a province, but they were like a couple levels down. They still had nice houses, nice shit. Like they weren't in poverty or anything. And pretty much immediately, as soon as this town crier said that, he added an addendum,

which Nebuchadnezzar also instructed where he's like and make sure they also know anybody who doesn't bow down as soon as all these made-up instruments start going they're going to be brought back to me they're going to be brought in front of me and i'm going to burn them alive in a really cool big furnace i also made and believe it or not that was compelling to most people. That got them on board. And so as soon as they heard the Zither and the lyre, boom, right down, almost like Mecca. They're like, even if you can't see it from whatever province they're in, they're like, I'm not risking some ancient cop finding me and ratting me out. I'm aiming right there and praying

to Nebuchadnezzar. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego say, fuck you. They don't say, fuck you. They say, no, thanks. No, thank you. Their overseer goes to King Nebuchadnezzar, goes, hey, Neb. Neb goes, don't call me that because I understand. He goes, King Nebuchadnezzar, these three Jews, they're not bowing down. Did you tell them about the furnace thing? Yes, I led with the furnace thing. Of course I told him. Of course I led with it, you fucking, you brilliant king. And so Nebuchadnezzar is like, okay, bring him to me. Bring him to me. As far as I can tell, they're doing a good job on paper,

but if they're not going to do what I want, bring him here. So he brings him there and he tells them, hey, and King Nebuchadnezzar is like in the opposite situation of like a rock in a hard place. He's between like tits and ass. No matter which way he goes, it's positive. They show up and they say, I'm not bowing down. He gets a handful of tit, so to speak, where he gets to throw them in the furnace, burn them alive and ensure that everybody's like, yeah, that bitch is not playing. He will burn you alive. Bow.

Or if they do what he wanted them to do, nice handful of ass and they bow down. It's a little ego stroke where he's like, yeah, all it really took was them seeing me in my glory for them to bow down and do it. And so they show up. He says, bow down or you're going in the furnace. No other options. They say, I will not. I will not bow down. No, not bowing down. No, that's not my God.

I'm not bowing down to your false idol or whatever the fuck. And he goes like probably a little like kind of like happy about it. Like, okay, time to break in the furnace. But he where they're like oh oh he said seven seven's one of those numbers that works out well god if he had said turn it up twice as hot i would have shit myself but seven we should be okay thank god and so and so nebuchadnezzar well seven it's a biblical number like yeah it's all a lot oh you're talking to me you know i know that yeah yeah things happen in sevens all the time in the old testament and in the new and so Nebuchadnezzar wasn't just content with normal soldiers tying him up because he's brought some of his governors and satraps and people to see this whole thing

because he thinks it's cool. It is cool. And he brings out his most burly, ripped soldiers to tie up Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. And then he tells them, throw them in the fire. And he says that the fires were so hot that when they went to open the furnace to throw the three Jews in, that the men throwing them in themselves died. And so he wasted a bunch of juicy man muscle just in trying to get his point across which i wouldn't have done i would have used worthless soldiers but what do i know i'm no neb and so he throws him in there and he's sitting on his cool gold throne the extra gold that was left over from the

statue just kind of watch it and i guess there's a fucking window in this furnace you kind of see what's going on and so after a couple minutes, he's like, what? I see. How many Jews do we... Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, was there another one? They got goofy ass names. There's four people standing in there right now. Well, don't take them out yet, because even if it is their god,

maybe he'll run out of magic and they'll eventually burn. Maybe he can only stave off the flames for so long. So he leaves them in there a couple more minutes to simmer becomes clear. God's not going to run out of magic. And so he goes, take those guys out of there, take them out of there.

And so he opens up the furnace three, the three, you know, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego come out totally unscathed. It says they don't even smell of fire. Are they naked? Like they've been there.

No, their clothes were fine too. And so they all come out and all the governors, the satraps, everybody's there, they're looking. And so King Nebuchadnezzar has to pull a World War II Italy where they switch sides and pretend they've been on that side the entire time. And so he goes, wow, your guy's god is really cool i'm on board you guys don't have to worship this statue everyone we are keeping the statue it looks awesome we don't have to pray to

it but you're not getting no i don't we're not getting rid of it that's fine you're not protected by their god we're keeping the steps anyone not want to keep the stat we're keeping the fucking statue and so he keeps the statue. And then also he's talking to Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego and being like, wow, your God's like legit real. My gold statue didn't do anything but shine brightly. And so he asks them about their God. They kind of have a little back and forth.

And then because King Nebuchadnezzar still has to appear hardcore, he goes, all right, we're all following the Jewish God now, and any of you, anyone in my kingdom who questions the Jewish God, I will have you and your family cut to pieces and your homes razed to the ground. And everybody's like, 40 minutes ago we were talking about the statue. And so everybody unanimously is like, yeah, whatever you say, dude. We're all on board with the Jewish God. I don't want to get cut to pieces.

And then to end it all, he gives Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego a raise and a promotion. So what did we learn? Hopefully we're fireproof. Yeah, I was hoping for insight because I didn't learn anything. Nothing at all. At all. It's a little similar to David in the lion pit, you know?

I feel like maybe they just recycled that one at some point. You know, they probably did. If you think about it, they're like identical stories, right? Except you got lions instead of fire. You think that one scribe

or whatever prophet back in the day was writing that and his scribe's like, oh, this is very similar. and describes like oh this is very similar i'm british this is very similar to to david and the lions dan he's like no no it's not no it's not named named ten similarities i like to take the teacher handed out a project and she's like no group projects did you guys work together on yours? Mine's got lions. No, mine's got a cool statue and a king, Nebuchadnezzar.

We should run both through one of those plagiarism checkers they use in colleges now. Yeah, definitely. That would be funny. If it's likeeremiah ripped all of his shit from like leviticus it's like that year the end of it that um um the two deep impact and armageddon came out the same year yeah you're like wait a fuck what what well in ours the asteroid hits all right what i've learned the most is the more I read these Old Testament stories

I've got a couple more stories outlined for the future I just like doing them in our Just Us Girls chats is I'm not learning anything I'm not learning any morals any sort of compass for my life for most of these stories

come on you get it though right I get that you're supposed to praise this God no it's about faith for my life for most of these stories. It's really just like... Come on, you get it though, right? You do get it. I get that you're supposed to praise this God unquestioningly. No, it's about faith under fire. Literally. Yeah, but that's not funny. It's trusting God, no matter what. And in real life,

that doesn't work at all. You become a martyr. Lots of people get cancer, and they pray to God, and they believe just as much as these fucks. Well, that was part of God's plan. Yeah, that's a convenient out. That's the truth. Question it and you could burn too.

I just feel like if I had put my faith in God instead of my reserve parachute two months ago, this show would be down one host. Yeah, dude, if the afterlife is real... And that would have been God's plan. If the afterlife is real... Praise his name. been God's plan. If the afterlife is real... Praise his name. Fucking St. Peter next to the pearly gates

is going to pull up one of the many YouTube compilations listeners have made of my Bible stories, and I'm going straight to hell. So thanks for that. Thanks for that. But it's not real, so don't worry about it. That's the lesson learned. I'm like 99%.

Sure. Yeah. Are you 100%? because i'm only like 99 no i would say i'm like high 90s percent but if it if i die and it turns out it's real i am not going to be pleased me either and you think about it you wouldn't you wouldn't risk like like like how do the seatbelts work in your car? It says high nineties, 90, 93, 94% of the time they work.

Not really. It doesn't that concern you? Like, aren't you always worried about it every time you get behind the wheel? No, no, not really. I mean, that was like,

they taught us that in school as like an argument to believe in God. It was called Pascal's Wager. And it was, if you believe in God and it doesn't exist, you haven't lost anything. If you believe in God and he does exist, you go to heaven. If you don't believe in God and he doesn't exist, nothing happens. If you don't believe in God and he doesn't exist, you go to hell. So it was like, well, mathematically, you should believe in God. And my thought even then was like, he gonna know i'm faking it he's gonna know that i'm only doing

it out of fear of not going to hell and like that's okay with that heaven i don't think so based on what i've read he seems pretty okay with scaring people into worshiping him yeah old testament god was much more into the fear jesus was a little nicer but jesus also did uh well not even mean funny stuff like whip people and the uh when they were like using his like the pharisees and sadducees were using the church as a like a bartering ground and trading and financial place instead of using it as a worship place he just goes in there and starts cracking the whip on all these pharisees and overturning their tables that That was fun. Good for him. I liked that. That was a good scene. I brought that up in my

drug class in prison. I don't remember how. The teacher was an absolute moron. He brought up something. He'd get really stuck in the mud with the conversations. He'd start arguing with us and we knew how to

drag him down into the mud. So he didn't get to teach us anything. And something came up about something came up. I don't remember where it came from, but he was just like, you know, Jesus, it wouldn't, would never did anything violent. Jesus was all about peace. And I'm like, what about the time he whipped all those guys? He's like, what are you talking about? The time he went to the to where the tax collectors were

in the temple and he whipped the shit out of those people and turned their tables over. He's like, oh. Well, those were Jews. And I went, you said that? I think I just won. I looked

around. It was just three white guys and eight black guys. I was like, shit, none of them are here to complain about this. Damn it. I mean, they weren't Jews, but they weren't just Jews. They were Pharisees. Pharisees. Sadducees, like the bad kind of religious people that were just manipulating the Old Testament into making money. Are you saying Jews are the bad kind because they make money?

No. No, the Pharisees are the bad kind because they make money? No. The Pharisees were the bad kind. That's why Jesus was so against them. I choose to believe you said that. And also, like he said, Jesus never did anything violent. There's literally in Matthew a verse that says, I bring not peace, but a sword. Well... This guy didn't know his fucking Bible.

That was a metaphor. Not the way I do. Even better than Woody's parents. And if they want to dispute that. No joke, I think they're in Israel right now. That is so fucking funny. They're getting extra lessons straight from the source right now. In Israel? Yeah.

So they just go walk around Jerusalem? Does she not know that like like people in israel aren't christians i don't understand most of them aren't why it's so cool but yeah that's like their favorite place to vacation now they go to israel probably more than once a year they call me if they're not in israel right now then they just came home i wonder if they have like nice beaches and stuff there. They're right on the Mediterranean. That's not what they're doing. They're taking camels and checking out Moses' 40-mile walk

or something like that. They do have nice beaches, though. I've definitely seen them on the internet. Let me try to find a picture. I think they have nude beaches. Israel does? I figured they'd be way too conservative for that kind of thing. I don't know.

I'll just look up Israeli nude beaches. Let's see. Where can I sunbathe nude in Israel? You go to Masada. I'm pretty sure even shit like porn isn't legal in Israel. Here you go. Nudist beach at the... Oh. I found a YouTuber. She's heading

to the nude beach on the Dead Sea in Israel. The Dead Sea's in Israel. And she's naked. For some reason I thought it was in like Eastern Europe or something. Was this uploaded September 23rd, 2015? Sure was.

We're on the same video. You're going to want to skip on forward to when she gets naked. She blurs everything, but I'm still pleased. She's got some of that Dead Sea mud. She's rubbing it on her face when she gets naked. She blurs everything, but I'm still pleased. She's got some of that Dead Sea mud. She's rubbing it on her face. Like war paint. Oh, she's got a tattoo. Big no-no in Judaism.

Well, and Christian. Anyway. Yeah, definitely nude beaches in Israel. Yeah. Well, the more you know. The more you know. The Dead Sea is somewhere that would be let your mom know she might have gone to the nude beaches you don't know yeah your parents i wouldn't put

it past nothing wrong with it right we're gonna hike the we're gonna hike the sinai desert trail going to massara and then we're gonna get our freak on because that's how many parents go. Yeah, fuck me. Oh, this is right where Abraham almost killed Isaac. Is Masada the one where the Israelis held out against the Romans for like a long time and then they suicided at the end so the Romans could claim no victory? I don't know. Is this a Bible story or is this like in the middle area like where the maccabees were well i don't i don't know my bible that well but i'm i'm i thought that

that was the story of masada um it would make sense because masad's like their cia so it makes sense they name it after something like that um i don't well that's the masad i don't i don't know if that's i mean maybe masad masad i don't know yeah yeah that's the Mossad. I don't, I don't know if that's, I mean, maybe. Mossad, Mossada. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, that's what happened. I say Mossada. Let's call the whole thing. Let's see. Yeah, in 66 AD, Mossada was a Roman garrison.

A group of Jewish extremists overcame it and settled there. In the next several years, more people joined them. in the next several years. More people joined them, and then there was a siege led by Lucius Flavius Silva in 72 AD. It lasted about two to three months, and it culminated in the construction of a siege

ramp and tower to try to get at them. But it seems like 960 Israelis held out for a really long time, like over a year or something like that. And at the end they did like a mass suicide so that like the romans could claim no victory that's a really cool story i can't believe i've never read about this that's yeah that might be a fun one also like

like what'd you say flavius fucking whatever the hell yeah romans had cool names sick fucking names why can't we bring that back black people have i went to school with an octavius okay well was his octavius flavius caesar or whatever just no he's dead now he's dead now and his cut like like the that maybe it was just like my part of the world but man like i i started elementary school with like six or seven black guys only one of them graduated and i know of school with like six or seven black guys only one of them graduated and i know of like three of them that have died since then one of them just died last week farming accident thresher caught in the thresher sucked into a thresher he was thrown from

his vehicle he was ejected he was a dui fling or something like that the other one has been in prison since i was like 22 because him and his buddies somebody owed them some drug money. Some middling amount of money. Somebody owes you $70. I think you should go by that movie

that gangster movie. Brooklyn Tales? Bronx Tale. The guy owes him $20 and he's chasing him down the street yelling at him and the main gangster's like, hey, hey, hey, don't do that. Do you like that guy? He's like, nah, I can't stand him. Well, think about it this

way. For $20, you'll never have to talk to him ever again. He's gone. He's out of your life. He's like, that's a good point. They should have said that about the $70 worth of drug money. Instead, this person I went to school with who was my age and two of his buddies kidnapped him. They rolled up next to him. And this is in small town Georgia, like farming community where I'm from.

They roll up next to him on the sidewalk. He's with his girlfriend. And they have this ridiculous – they're armed like they're playing PUBG. All right? It looks like when you first land and everybody's got this mishmash, one of them has an actual submachine gun, like a little Mac-10. One of them's got a shotgun. The other one has a hammer.

I like to think like PUBG, they're like, if one wore a pot as a helmet. Yeah, exactly. It's level one armor. One had a frying pan. He pulls out the hammer and so they grab him throw him into the car and they drive off and it's like this was 15 years ago but cell phones existed so his girlfriend just goes yeah um octavius johnson just kidnapped my boyfriend and drove away in a silver honda civic yeah yeah they're hitting they're in livonia right now yeah there's three of them in there they had guns yep all right they go get them right away of course and the kidnapping is like a 25 year big deal it's like third worst thing you can do behind like murder and rape is kidnapping. A lot of people don't

know that. It's a huge deal. Yeah. And it wasn't one of those kidnappings where it's kind of like borderline where it's like, all right, nobody leave this room until we get this shit straightened out. You know, people can be like, oh, I was kidnapped. He wouldn't let me leave. This was like they scooped him up like they're the fucking mafia

and drove off with him. They're still in prison that that was so long ago i don't even remember the finer details i don't remember what the other two guys names were just crime it was a serious crime if it was their first crime it was oh if it was their first crime i can almost be like i think they didn't realize what they were doing was as bad as it was. Oh, they definitely did not. No, dude, if your first foray into crime is at gunpoint kidnapping someone, you need to be put in jail. Because you're not going to go, oh, what was I thinking?

What if that guy was robbing you and you decide to keep him? Oh, well, if he was just robbing. Right? decide to keep him. Oh, well, if he was just robbing, right. And you say, well, he's a thief. So we should probably,

you're describing a citizen. Well, you think that, but then when you brand him, you know, shave his head, maybe scarlet letter of some sort. I was reading my Bible last night.

I just feel like in a situation like that, it's defense. It's not kidnapping. Well, it was a defense of kidnapping. I read you. I read you. Well, you don't kidnap people. But yeah, everybody, all those guys I went to school with and like they had every opportunity. I don't know what happened.

And I don't, it wasn't institutionalized racism for sure because like they had every opportunity like like my mom was one of their teachers and it was just like you couldn't do anything with those guys they had it was definitely their home life it was definitely their home life some people just had a hard time i think that i think they had a hard home life and uh and that made them shitty and that made them like have a real rough time but like i said i i had a hard home life and, uh, and that made them shitty and that made them like have a real rough time. But like I said, I had a decent size graduating class and there were only two black people in it. And one of them, um, her mother was a teacher and the other one, um, just decided he was a football player and he decided to like really buckle down his last two years of, uh, of, uh, of high school and like got a mentor who was uh in the faculty and and made it but a lot of those guys didn't just not graduate but they're dead

and like we're not from like some rough town this is i'm i'm like chael sunnen you know it's it's it's one of those yeah saw a guy just spit on the sidewalk just walked away i feel like i almost know your town because i spend so much time in Hartwell. They're like sister towns. Super similar, yeah. Oh, I was thinking about, I had a friend in high school. And friend is an exaggeration. We like sometimes ate lunch together and talked when,

if we were next to each other, we'd talk, but we never hung out after school. And he was cool he transferred to the school and there were just aspects of him that made him cooler than the rest of us like his hair was spiked and he had a jean jacket and i don't know he just had a vibe about him that was cool i didn't think about it until way later but he was a cutter he used to like cut bad words into his forearm and shit and uh now i look back and i'm like i bet that guy was fucked like i i bet that his home life was like i don't know like he used

to just cut i remember he wrote i don't like that like in big letters on his forearm one time oh why would you do that wait did he do it or was someone torturing him woody i think he like he showed it to me like i think it was a call for help but i misinterpreted like like if i could go back and replay that day i would have told a guidance counselor or something but yeah you truly are a bitch i just i saw it and i was like damn like his pain tolerance is high too it's like another cool thing i didn't know like that was my dumb ass interpretation of it how old were you 27 12 or 13 yeah 13 or 14 like who fucking knows anything yeah i don't like people who self-harm i i it's not i don't like them it's just it makes me so uncomfortable and

i and i don't understand it myself i'm really ignorant about it and it just really rubs me the wrong way i i i want them to stop that's my main that is stop stop yeah you gotta be on your own team there's gonna be people in this world who aren't on your side you can't be one of them right yeah you're not gonna get far if the first roadblock you run into is you damn do you yeah i don't understand it like ice and salt thing oh god i'm gonna put a bunch of salt on the back of my hand hold ice on it and it's gonna give me a burn and it was like but but why yeah it burns the top layer of your skin off and leaves a nasty scar yeah i. Is it permanent, the scar? It can be if you hold it there long enough. Yeah, it's a serious

frostbite that it creates. The salt lets the ice go to a really low temperature and you're numb from the ice so you don't really feel the paint. If you were branding yourself after a while, you'd be like, whoa, that's enough of that. But with ice, you can just be like, yeah, this is cool, huh? Yeah. I'm super hardcore if I

hold it longer. Right. And before you know it, you've got a really nasty scar. Yeah. Very dumb, very dumb things. Yeah. There were so many of those weird things that we did and that kids did. And like, especially with the mid, like around 2008, 2015, it seemed like, like, and I think the news media was, was just blowing things way out of proportion and a lot of times like like find out the new craze snorting condoms tonight at seven it's like how many people snorted a condom to make you do this news story because i think it was three i think three condoms got snorted nationwide and all of a sudden you've got to do a whole fucking expose on it and now tomorrow 300 kids are out buying trojans oh it's the same thing that like the media does now with social media where they'll be like there's a craze of kids eating tide pods and then it's like well

really you found five tweets and three youtube videos and and now there's a huge glut of these things cropping up yeah but. Like a legit one. I remember the cinnamon challenge. That was cool. Yeah, I figured. Nobody got hurt. Yeah, yeah. It was funny to watch.

The ice bucket thing when they were raising money for whatever neurological disease that was. Lou Gehrig's maybe. I have three letters in it. Anyway. LHS or something. I'm spacing out on that one but in any case you know all those celebrities dumping water on themselves and some some found a little funny

twist to it and whatever i was doing that stupid dance um and the harlem shake yeah yeah yeah you did a harlem shake i did a harlem shake i did it wasn't bad yeah a woman is trying to end the cinnamon challenge after her son's death your son was a pussy you know cinnamon killed your boy then he was not gonna make it too deep into the world all right cinnamon this is really funny should you be one of those internet types an avid youtube watcher a tumblr pre-user a safe this is like 2014 a facebook scroller it's quite likely you are and if you've made it this far beware memes can be deadly no you probably won't have a conniption fit from

watching too many gifs or a stroke from scrolling through the fat jews instagram feed but should you try to replicate some of the allegedly harmless idiocy that occurs in those slapstick videos of assorted challenges you might not come out alive okay apparently someone breathed enough fucking cinnamon to ruin their lungs dude you'd think i'd be anti-okay boomer because of my age but i'm not i fucking love the whole okay boomer thing my facebook feed is filled with insults on younger people that aren't that aren't accurate and that bothers me like these guys think they're going to start a revolution they can't even start a lawnmower

okay boomer oh my god all these dumbass old people like me insulting young people with these sweeping generalizations that are bullshit I love that okay boomer is an effective comeback that apparently older guys don't like

I saw some funny like tweet where someone was like oh i'm dreading when kamala harris or pete budaj calls biden a boomer and ruins the whole joke okay boomer yeah it's they rip on millennials ruthlessly they rip on gen xers they think they're so much better and of course every old generation does that to every young generation but uh i don't know something about this time around they just seem to genuinely think that everyone who's 22 is a boy in a dress and you know doesn't understand genders or something like that and it's just okay boomer shut the fuck up yeah shut the fuck up boomer all of our boomer listeners

that's you woody's parents i mean name a more boomer vacation than going to israel i don't know what a boomer vacation is a cruise oh a cruise okay fair enough that's a cruise. Oh, a cruise. Okay, fair enough. A cruise around Israel. Boomer one. I don't know. Boomer memes are funny until they get too big and just like every meme it stops being funny. You have to wait for the new thing to come. I was surprised that Trump got booed at the UFC event.

I love seeing politicians. I thought that was his fucking crowd. It's New York, right? It was Madison Square Garden, right? Yeah, so there's going to be liberals there But it's also his hometown It's a cage fight He's got a close relationship with Dana White

You see Dana's Instagram That he and Trump were by themselves Backstage watching the prelims in the green room And stuff They booed the shit out of him though. Yeah. He had some bad election results too on Tuesday. Like the,

uh, in Kentucky, the governor's a Democrat now. And in Virginia, the Democrats swept all the house and Senate and what have you. Yeah. They haven't had total control in decades and they do right now. Let's go Bernie.

It's getting closer and closer to the election, and I just don't fucking care this time. I'm not getting sucked into it. You better get energized. I'm not getting absorbed. You better start feeling the burn, Taylor. Kyle, if it helps you, I'll vote. Actually, I'm not going to vote.

I'm not taking it. Fuck it. No, because I'm still pretty sure. Maybe if Taylor votes, he'll carry Missouri. I'm pretty sure. No, Missouri's not going to's not that's just in missouri goes to biden by one vote no it could have been bernie no yeah i i don't know i i just am not into it this year very much maybe when it gets closer i will but i still follow it every, but I try not to talk about it on the show. Yeah, they need to narrow that shit down. There's way too many of them.

There's been way too many for a long time. When they get down to the top three, I think we'll have something interesting. I don't know how any... Warren is so anti-charismatic, uncharismatic. I can't stand to look at her and hear her talk she looks like a like a like a bitchy school teacher okay i like bernie way more than i like her i like i like bernie and i like all of them better than her she is my least favorite although i didn't i mean beto but at beta was my least favorite and actually biden would be

pretty funny like he's already clearly losing his mind i'm fine with biden finds it finds cool enough you know like if it's going to be somebody it number one choice is obviously bernie uh dude says he's going to legalize marijuana the first day and expunge everybody's fucking records i gotta go with that no he's not trump said we were going to get out of wars the first day and all this sort of stuff bernie sanders has never told a lie i've never knowingly told a lie except for a couple of times i mean bernie sanders is honest though right like he doesn't have really honesty problem for sure yeah do you know trump tells has told a thousand or so lies they keep track of 10 000 it's outrageous doing this look at literally every president who's ever run in modern history where they're day one we're

doing this and then they get in and it's like, well, let's take it slow. That's not actually true. A lot of people, when they have a first day thing, it's things they can just sign, and it is true. Obama said he was going to close Guantanamo Bay day one. It said he was going to pull people out immediately. That didn't fucking happen. Turns out, not such a good

idea. Turns out, people there are pretty fucked. I went. They called me a terrible word. It's six letters. Two G's in the middle. You can guess what it is. Starts with an F, actually. Surprisingly. Yeah.

I'm just not into it. Every time hockey season comes around, it's like, yeah, whatever. What do you mean time hockey season comes around it's like yeah whatever what do you mean every time it comes around to hear you tell it it's nine months out of the fucking year right it's only nine months when we do well otherwise it's like six that is shocking to me that has it is it the longest sports season that exists no it matches up with basketball pretty much exactly that's why you don't get many basketball and hockey fans. Because basketball starts like one week, a week and a half after hockey, and ends like a week to a week and a half after hockey.

I know that I'm the weird one, that I'm not into any of these team sports. They just don't mean anything to me, but they just don't. I just don't care, you know? I just don't feel like they represent me at all in any kind of way and i don't understand being a fan of the lakers it's like all right yeah why because they're good at basketball right and you like seeing basketball perform well oh no no lakers for life even when they're bad i like to watch i don't get that like you're a fan of like the colors that they wear you just like the gold and purple or whatever?

They're from Los Angeles. Represent. No, they're not. No, they're not. They imported them from every fucking other state because they're the best that they could afford to buy. These are mercenaries. It's a mercenary sport.

All sports are. I don't get that. I like the sport of hockey. I'll watch if we weren't doing the show tonight and the Islanders were playing the Penguins, both very good teams this year. Islanders are better. They were on a 10-game win streak

until the Penguins won in overtime. I would have watched that game. I like watching the sport of hockey. I enjoy it. I'm glad you said that because that's how I define an actual sports fan, in my opinion. I think that if you will watch the sport being played regardless of who's playing it, as long as it's at a high level, then you're just a fan of the game.

And by doing that, maybe you can come to admire a player or a team. But I think bandwagon fans are the best fans because those are the fans who give you honest feedback they're giving you honest feedback and they're like hey i like what i'm seeing right there i'm a fan of this not a fan of like some nostalgic bullshit from from when i was 13 and the bulls won like like not that because that doesn't matter jordan's not playing ball anymore there's scotty pippen's dad isn't he i know he's not for the longest time i gave shit to hawks fans because number one they're our rival and we have to give them shit and they had such a ridiculous bout of success with three stanley cups over the course of like five or six years

like but even then like now i'm seeing friends of mine who didn't give a fuck about the blues just being like oh i'm all about the blues now they're awesome they're great like because we won the stanley cup and so they're getting really popular. But even that, like, I don't dislike. Like, I don't actually dislike the bandwagon fans. It's just a nice little chirp to throw out there and be like, oh, you didn't even know. And at this point, like, it's been long enough that, like, Hawks fans, even on the hockey Reddit, will be like, I've been a fan ever since the team was created in 2010. Yeah, I understand being a fan of a player.

In the same way, I understand being a fan of a fighter. I would totally understand it if somebody was a Colts fan because they liked Peyton Manning, and then when he goes to another team, they're like, oh, now I'm a Vikings fan, or wherever he goes. I get that. I just don't.

It was Denver, yeah. I was spacing out. Um, but, but still I just don't understand being a fan of like the mascot and the, the, the, the, the Jersey. It doesn't, it's never made sense. Like the way it is for me, like I like different styles of hockey. So like the blues are a very big defensive slow the game down hit really really hard and like play a little dirty frankly like the blues are like of the teams existing now they're probably the dirtiest i like that style it's more old school hockey they grind you down and then like going into game day threads and seeing like you know i don't know i'm just picking a random team like a fucking philly fan being like why are they being this isn't hockey why are they

just grinding us and hitting us so hard a philly fan would not say that i i know i was fucking with you but uh let's say uh for say a penguins fan oh perfect right maggots yeah look at these people with their manly beards yeah like a penguins fan like i like seeing that but i also like my eastern conference team the tampa bay lightning they're all run and gun super fast they try and make the other team play their game and if you can't keep up with them you're not going to do well they have too many high skill players and so i enjoy the different styles and the way the game can be played and like you can watch the blues play the lightning and if the lightning is able to force the blues to try and play catch up with me lightning are going to blow us out they're

going to win for sure if the blues are laying heavy hits and making the lightning players a little bit scared because there's a team on the smaller side blues are gonna win that like you'll see a puck battle going in and you'll see fucking kucherov going and then you'll see petrangelo going in and you you'll see kucherov pull back a little bit like i don't want to get fucking hammered hello match up for the ages yeah or pareko who is oh right i love uh pareko is one of the best defensemen in the league he's like like six foot six. He's an enormous guy who plays for us. And he has the hardest slap shot in the league now at this point, I would say. And so often when he winds up to take one from the point, he'll hit a player. And if he hits someone on the other team, they'll like he shot the skate blade off of people before. on the other team they'll like he's shot the skate blade off of people before and so like the blade will come off and the guy who got hit will try and put his foot down and then he just eats shit and falls and has to have like another player push him to the bench but other times he'll take a wind up and slap it and it'll hit one of our guys and the guy will be like spitting blood like

come on man you're in the nhl get a little more accurate please just hit the other players if you're going to hit someone don't ruin our guy's teeth they do that enough on their own anyway enough hockey you can move past that what did you like oh i just bought that nerf blaster no big deal it's a $50 Nerf gun. It's do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. No, I'm not thinking further do-do-do-do-do-do-do the sound it's going to make. But what's the purpose of this? On a Nerf blast.

Kyle's new girl is like, I'm into toys. And he's like, I can't own real guns anymore. Yeah, I'm going to play with my Nerf. I saw the commercial on YouTube and I was like, man, I used to love Nerf guns when I was a kid. with my Nerf. I saw the commercial on YouTube and I was like, man, I used to love Nerf guns when I was a kid.

It's Nerf or nothing. It's Nerf or nothing. And I was like, wait a minute. I'm being honest. I still like Nerf. Yes. And I got $50 to spend. You should have bought two. I feel like it'd be more fun if you had an opponent

no buy a shitty gun for your opponent right right buy some dude this belongs on a tinder profile come on over i got dueling nerf guns i'm into toys i hope you like toys I've got lots of toys and she gets there like showing up and like check this out vibrator rabbit or whatever nope you just fire she's got a suction cup on her

forehead not just one just little unicorn I fucking love nerf guns I didn't like nerf as a kid because you would always try and establish the rules in someone's basement like if you get hit you gotta be dead you gotta be out and there was no honor system as eight-year-olds no i would know i cheated so much completely different than adult and paintball. Totally different.

Yeah, we switched to airsoft not long after that and then to paintball as soon as I could get a paintball gun. Yeah, paintball's the best. No, we don't. Paintball's the best because that was always the dream for anybody who played with Nerf guns as a kid. It's like, I hit you. No, you didn't. I hit you first. But now we've got a gun that fucking shoots balls of paint

at 300 feet per second. We're going to know. That's why paintball is better than airsoft. It cuts down on cheating. Everyone says that. I've only played airsoft one day, and it seemed like it hurt enough that people would desperately want you to stop hitting them. Nah, they wear like super... It depends

where and how you're playing, but in my experience i've played in out here in atlanta in like a indoor seat close quarters battle airsoft and it's like a gigantic room filled with like um plywood like rooms you know like like like like mocked up houses. And, and you're just laning people to shooting like that. And people are wearing such thick fucking army combat nonsense that like, they don't care if you hit them. I went with fucking my paintball pants and a t-shirt. I played in the desert and that might've made the difference too. Like you would suffer in a whole different way if you were really padded up.

Yeah. They were so padded up. I was not happy with it, with like playing with them. Because like everybody had this. They had like the big military bullshit knee pads and elbow pads and big like gloves with the like Kevlar knuckles on them and shit. Like they don't feel it. I mean they could tell if they've been hit, but it doesn't hurt them enough to quit it was hurting me enough though like like you know you're

going room to room like you are you know in call of duty when you run right into the guy and you both spray each other down real quick when that happens in real life it is excruciating because we both have like fully automatic m4s that shoot four or five hundred feet per second and we just spray each other down at close at like point blank range until somebody lets off the trigger and just it hurt it really hurt yeah it's no joke yeah but yeah i didn't i never liked that because of the cheating and then laser tag just never really works for real. But so paintball has always been my thing for sure. So you mentioned a while ago about horses and movies charging into like foot soldiers and just wrecking them.

What's I, I have my suspicions that in real life that's not cool at all. Right? Like picture I'm on a horse and you and your hundred people are on foot. I feel like I'd get, I don't know, I'd take out two or three guys as I plunge into the mass. And now I'm surrounded by people. My horse is freaked out. We're getting poked at with swords and spears.

You're just going to your death, right? No. Those guys were like the um the height of military technology of their time like they're covered in armor um you know the horses got a lot of armor and the guys they're attacking are those foot soldiers you know there weren't a lot of professional armies back then a lot of times it's just some bunch of assholes out there and he's just swinging that sword and if he's on that if he's a knight like an actual knight it's like the spartan story we always hear it's like it's like athenaean what is what is your

profession i'm a potter and then he looks back spartans what is your profession haru haru haru it's like the guy on that horse like that's all he's up to. Like, like he's, it's just like Game of Thrones. The most realistic part is probably that those, those noble born people like Jon Snow, you know, they've just been training with a master of arms their whole life. So when he gets up North the wall and he's,

he's like going ham on everybody. And the main guy's like, he probably didn't have a master of arms when he was eight. That's the first time he's ever picked up a sword, Jon, maybe slow down. Jon's like he probably didn't have a master of arms when he was eight that's the first time he's ever picked up a sword john maybe slow down and john's like fuck hey i guess you're right shit i i'm gonna am i the asshole yeah yeah you are so i think it's like if john showed up in like the pottery house and was trying to do it and he's like get it better retard can't you do it retard idiot dummy i wouldn't i wouldn't serve my dog milk out of that jar spill all out over the

place yeah but you're you're right you know you're crashing into that line of people which probably isn't that thick you know the line of people depends on the line too because i've what that's the problem you get, eight people deep and now you're surrounded and you've got an issue. Yeah, it depends. A lot of those, every time we see one of those battles in a movie, it seems like it's like 20,000 versus 10,000.

But I think in reality, a lot of those battles was like, ah, the English have 3,000 men and the Scottish have brought 1,800. the English have 3000 men and the Scottish had brought 1800. I was like, well, how, and by the time they spread the lines out and they've got, you know, it's just a few thick, it's all that weight going that fast. They would be crushing blow. I'm scared of horses. I like, like, like I've been around horses. They're, they're frighteningly powerful when they're just like moving around. You're just like, I hope he doesn't

decide to murder me right now. He can. What was that clip of the camel just biting some guy's shoulder once and just throwing him over? I love that clip. Just like, get the hell out of here, dude. Just bit his trap muscle off and threw him.

Yeah, camels are powerful. Are there any good UFC events coming up? Max Holloway and Amanda Nunez are on the next card. My money's on Holloway. He's going to beat the shit out of her. Unfortunately, they're not fighting. There's Kuznetsov versus Hall.

You just made that up I'm just using hockey players names dude, Dreisaitl vs. fucking Agostino tell me you're not excited about that those names I almost made up

I wanted to look up some like famous cavalry charges with sabers drawn about 600 Italian cavalry men I almost made up. I wanted to look up some famous cavalry charges. With sabers drawn, about 600 Italian cavalrymen yelled out their traditional battle cry, Savoie! What's up, Al? And galloped headlong toward 2,000 Soviet foot soldiers armed with machine guns and mortars.

It was August 23, 1942. The cavalrymen, part of the Axis invasion of the Soviet Union during World War II, were attempting to close a gap that had been opened between the Italian and German armies along the Don River. It was to be the end of an era, though experts believe that smaller and less well-documented cavalry charges likely occurred later on in World War II and possibly as late as 1970s in Rhodesia. They generally described this as the last major charge in history. In closely packed formation, the Italian cavalrymen hurled themselves at the left flank and rear of the Soviet line, tossing hand grenades and slashing with their sabers. Despite heavy losses, they then passed through the line in a reverse direction and helped dislodge the Soviets from their position.

That's really cool. They won! They won? Yeah, that's a win! Wow, that's awesome. The final U.S. charge took place in the Philippines in 1942 when the pistol-wielding horsemen of the 26th Cavalry Regiment temporarily scattered

the Japanese. Soon after, however, the starving U.S. and Filipino soldiers were forced to eat their own horses. So that ended the... The 26th Cavalry's charging days. They ate their fucking horses. Should have ended the story on the Italian victory. Yeah, probably should have.

Yeah, man, imagine how upsetting it has to be to be one of those guys where you're like, are you shitting me? I'm a tank guy. You want me to hop on the back of this horse and charge in with a saber? I'm going to get molested over there.

Especially with those Russians. They're tough. They don't live on the Mediterranean and engage in mafia shit the way we do. That's the whole premise of that movie, We Were Soldiers, with Mel Gibson. That was the first time the cavalry had transitioned post-World War II

into the sort of air cavalry. That's a good fucking movie. Yes. When he tries to drag that guy off the battlefield, and the guy's been napalmed, and all the meat slides off his legs like a fucking barbecue rib you don't heal from that i forget which one it was i think it was his like gunny sergeant like a second he didn't have a gun and they're like don't you want a gun and he's like ah they're

gonna be all over the place in no time at all they get to me it's over anyway he just had that pistol he had that 1911 that guy's a good actor and use it am i yeah at one point like he was like if i must like kills a guy yeah that's a good fucking movie mel gib Gibson movies are almost always good. What's the worst Mel Gibson movie? Passion of the Christ. Oh, no. I just said that. I haven't actually even seen it. It's powerful.

You don't have to be religious to be like, fuck, just kill him or let him go. Pick one. Pick one. They're just like, alright. Now let's whip him even harder. I was whipping him as hard as I could, sir. Well, give me a bigger man.

And a bigger whip, too. Just all day, they're just beating the shit out of this guy. Just worse and worse. And he's just like, bring it on. I watched recently the South Park from when The Passion of the christ came out oh god and uh cartman uses it to like try and get nazis going again oh god and the g's they're the ones

who kill jesus and they kill jesus and like he gets like a big group of people who all love the passion and they think it's all about like reinstilling christian values and things and he's like yeah he's standing up there in like a hitler suit and like nobody's catching on he's like when i say oh shooting they're like oh that must mean like jesus is the bomb like is that arabic oh that's arabic yeah that means praise Christ for all time. And then it's Cartman watching the stream going, Eschutet an Juden, Eschweichen! And they're going, Eschutet

an Juden, Eschweichen! Which I think means the Jews killed Christ. I don't know, but they're all like, oh, yeah, praise Christ, praise Christ! South Park has some bangers. It's good this year, this whole China thing, kind of I bet the season

wouldn't have been nearly as good if China hadn't banned them now they have somebody to fuck with now they have somebody to like go after like when that happened they were like these right themselves now although I hated the Halloween episode and wasn't I didn't see the hollow I haven't seen I saw the first

two I think but the good thing about them being able to go after China I would imagine is that's a target that you can say whatever you want and nobody's going to get upset. There's not an interest group here that's going to be like, hey, be cool to Xi Jinping. Yeah, LeBron James would get upset. Okay, well, they made fun of LeBron, didn't they? Yeah, they went right after him. Didn't Cartman say exactly exactly word for word cartman's or i'm sorry excuse yeah it's a yeah absolutely i go to the nba subreddit

and uh i can't quote it very well but you know how they do a thing where they change like five percent of the lebron quote and they reply it happens all the time now like you know people get people could get hurt emotionally and physically. They just do the whole thing, but it's... It's just now it's copypasta. Do you see Randy killing Winnie the Pooh? They rephrase it for the situation. Oh, yeah.

Did you see Randy killing Winnie the Pooh? No. I'll watch an episode or two after this. Yeah, you got at least one more good one ahead of you. Did you see Randy go to China? I saw him go to China when he's like, oh yeah, that's my weed. That's integrity. And they just take him and throw him in Chinese prison.

He goes, marijuana? And they're just like, oh, very illegal. And then they throw him in that horrible prison. I love when he's sitting there and he looks over and that guy just takes the most uncomfortable squat shit in that hole in the floor and then he looks out the window and the guard just blows a prisoner's brains out for no fucking reason it's dark they're not pulling any punches yeah it's real fucked up and yeah they're well they're banned in china now i wonder um i wonder how easy it is if you're in China, if you wanted to watch it, to make that happen.

Probably super easy with the internet. Can they get a VPN? I don't know the answer to that question. I don't know either. I don't know how China works. I just know there's like four times as many of them over there as there are here.

And they're catching up, man. We'll see. I wonder. Because I think everyone agrees that China's economy is going to pass ours. And there's a lot of stuff that supports that. I get that. And by one measure, I forget which. It's already passed.

But Japan looked like this, too. If you look at it, Japan, it was like their economy reached 85% or 90% of the size of ours. And it looked like they were going to pass us by and then they kind of fell apart. When was this? Call it the late 80s. You know, that Japan was catching us like that. And China, in some ways, brilliant economy.

They haven't been wasting all their money with pointless wars in the Middle East like we have. They've been investing into their infrastructure. That's great, great, great. On the other hand, they also have lots of shady bullshit, all sorts of incomplete buildings, really low quality. A lot of the things that they do is built on sort of lies and bullshit and uh i wonder if that haunts them if the u.s did ever collapse china would collapse as well like it is what i've heard like they can't maintain any part of their economy without their advantageous exports and import relationship with us it's weird yeah we buy way more of their shit than

they buy of our shit by an order of magnitude so people smarter than me point that out as a real like weakness in what they have going on you know like like you know america's doing america's okay but you know like china's really dependent on exports they don't have all those exports their whole world crashes and it's like wow i thought that was good i thought it was good when everyone in the world wanted to buy your stuff and you know we're we import too much i thought that was bad but apparently bad for being sustainable like we need more manufacturing here maybe they'll get some sort of a horrible like uh virus going over there that'll kill like half of them i just wonder if like all this infrastructure they built up there's like no building codes or building codes

that they ignore you know and that starts to bite them at one point like the russian olympic village remember that yeah stuff like that like it yeah that was a joke. It was so funny to see the social media come back from our athletes. They turn on the faucet and the shower comes on. The doorknobs don't lock and stuff. It was crazy. It was some Dr. Seuss shit. I know it's UFC stuff, but two things. One, Jon Jones announced his next opponent.

Kia! Dominic, how do you pronounce it? Reyes? Reyes? R-E-Y-E-S? Reyes. I don't know.

Dude, the guy's undefeated. He's big. He's strong. He's a 205er. He's not just a 185er that came up like most of his other fights.

But something about the dude's uninspiring to me. I think I'm judging him by his physique too much but dominic reyes has dad bod i don't know man i'm not seeing that in the image i mean here he is a way in i think that's usually pretty telling um i'm showing him on fight night right and he's just there's a link 6'4 that's the best of him yeah he's 6'4

I don't know how tall Jones is or if he's a true 6'4 really I think the beard and the fact that he's not ripped he definitely has a bottom half body for the UFC Really, I think the beard and the fact that he's not ripped, right? He definitely has a bottom half body for the UFC, right? Even a bottom quarter. But he's undefeated, so I guess he's good at fighting.

This guy in the picture you're saying? Yeah. Oh, this guy's pretty fucking built. Dude, just search his name. Do a Google image search on his name. Of Dominic Reyes. Yeah. And just, I don't know, look Of Dominic Reyes. Dominic Reyes. And just, I don't know, look around at the different pictures that show up for him.

Mm-hmm. No. Yeah, I mean, look, he's no Paul Costa or whatever, but he's also probably not a cheater. You know, like... Like Jon Jones. We're going to have to agree to disagree on that one.

I'm not aware of any proof that John Jones has ever done any cheating, except maybe on some girlfriends. And the eye pokes and the steroids? Well, you know, the eye pokes were incidental, and I'm not aware of any proof that he's done any steroids. But it did seem that he did hit and run that pregnant chick. Pregnant woman, which I think just gives him another victory on his record.

No, two. That's right. He got the little one, too. That's a one-two punch there. Undefeated, undisputed champion. We'll see how he does. I'm convinced he's due for a loss and it's not convinced this guy can give i mean he's definitely due for a loss yeah okay um oh and the other thing is you were talking about nunez and holloway oh yeah olby versus usman's on that card that's a massive card

it really is yeah it really is yeah uh i'm gonna pick i pick. I'll make my picks now. Nunez. Who's Holloway fighting again? Volkanovski. Yeah. Nunez, Holloway. Colby wins his. And John Jones is on that card? No, no. He just announced it.

I was going to say, God damn. What's the other fight then? Those are the three big ones. Okay. Well, I definitely pick Holloway, Nunez, and... Wow, I'm really spacing out here. Kamaru. So I'm going to say Nunez wins, I agree.

I'm going to say Holloway wins, I agree. And I'm going to say the Colby fight doesn't happen because Kamaru gets busted for PEDS. Ah, well, that's a Colby win no matter what then. Because if they do fight, my money's on Colby. For sure. Is Nunez fighting Durandamy at 135 or 145? I thought it was 35. You're right about it.

It could be 45, right? It could be either, because Nunez is a champ champ. It says on there. I thought it was. Yeah, I don't think Durandamy wanted to fight at 145. Okay. it says on yeah i thought it was yeah i didn't i don't think durandamy wanted to fight at one four five uh you know i hate durandamy so i'm really looking forward to nunez beating the dog shit out of that horse-faced she's the one that was cheap against holly holmes right yeah yeah and and it's it's taken about two and a half three years for her to get her comeuppance but it's coming this is my this was always my dream whenever i saw like

even back in the day like some asshole was a jerk like give him a title shot let chuck liddell have adam you know because that guy will put him to sleep and like duran to me i'm with you she's one of my least favorite amanda nunez is going to take care of it but i'd feed her to john jones for all i care i don't give a fuck. Yeah, for real. Yeah. I would be fine watching her be assaulted. I hate that woman so much. I'm with you.

I would be okay if it was a situation like when Jorge Masvidal beat that guy up at the press conference after the fight. Leon Edwards, yeah. Yeah. If Jorge happens to be around after the fight, you know, hands behind his back and Durand to me, bucks at him, and he just unleashes one of those elbows he hit Diaz with, then I won't say a word. I just happened to catch that.

Why am I spacing? Masvidal was interviewing JRE today. It happened like eight months ago or something. Yeah, it's good. And his story was fucking hilarious to me because he's like you know leon edwards asked me when we were gonna fight i started to tell him he told me to shut up so i went over to him and i feared for my life i was i was scared my hands were behind my back i

was defenseless. There was nothing I could do, but hit him four times. He's just like, are you fucking kidding me? He's like, he had all these hooligans around him. I was concerned. It's like, you're so. There was a writer from ESPN and there was this lady passing by. And I believe that his elderly father was there too he made a move toward me i think that was his breath i think he was inhaling yeah yeah

very offensive and the masvidal just hands come from behind his back and just starts going fucking ape shit yeah he's pretending he's handcuffed like oh yeah can't get me i'm a little concerned handcuffs on. Beat the shit out of him. Masvidal's fighter of the year, man. I hope he wins it. He deserves it. Who else could it be? I mean, well, it could be Cejudo.

It could be Nunez. And it could be Jones. He's fought a lot. All right? You know, he did. What did he get, three decision wins, though? He's going to fight four times this year. Oh, is that right?

I'm pretty sure. You win four decisions or split decisions or not. You win four fights in the UFC in one year after being off for that long and then coming right back. Might be fighter of the year, but my money would go to Jorge just on entertainment value. He's been the most entertaining out of all of them for me with that askren ko and i love askren but goddamn he's fought twice this year oh just twice or three for the year then yeah it might be four

times within a year because he fought december 29th oh yeah that's what i'm thinking yeah yeah i'm counting that then come on give me the two days i hear you um but yeah so this will be his third oh i'm not even sure it'll be this year he just announced the fight i don't get the date okay well we'll see what happens but yeah i think those are the contenders for fighter of the year um so hudo obviously went in two belts um and coming back against dominic cruz i believe it was really convincingly in that really crazy fight. The championship fight. Who did he beat?

Maybe it wasn't. I don't know that weight class as fighters very well. I don't care about that weight class frankly. So who does the most interesting thing in it? And he's the only interesting thing in it. Especially with Mighty Mouse gone. I'd love to see just him and mighty mouse fighting every three months

forever. Let's just do that. Keep rolling it back. Dillashaw. Dillashaw. Oh yeah. That was a good win, but there was another one where he came back.

Yeah. Morales is the one you're thinking of Morales. That's the one. Yeah, for sure. And then Nunez taken cyborg apart. Um, and I think she also beat Holly

in the same year so that's super duper impressive not so much for Holly but Cyborg and the way she took Cyborg down that wasn't some five round point fight where she like danced around and ran from Cyborg

she out Cyborg to Cyborg she mauled her and just hit her with bombs like you've never seen in that weight class holly holmes in any women a weird career like she's i i like uh she has a crisp wideman career right some really impressive wins and some really nice losses in there you know she lost to some quality opponents she looked pretty good prior to the knockout you know like there's a lot of parallels with her and chris weidman yeah but she's a fan favorite and they just keep bringing her back i don't know how many she's lost at this point like out of her last five it's four look her up it's

not good it's not good like i bet her last 10 is probably something like six or seven losses she's another one that i look at for peds a lot yeah you don't like her big pussy i don't say not like is the is your did your phrasing is off i don't like the look of that big you have no i don't know i'm totally fine with the look of it i'm just suspicious of its development yeah but she one two three four five losses out of her last seven yeah that's nasty that's that's no good right um you know connor's coming back soon i i i think interesting fighter it's never it's hard to tell though all he does is like pretend to take fights he says that he's said yes twice but i i believe him because here's the thing there was a time obviously when like all if he said yes they were like all right yeah

fill in get in there go but he's such a big name now and he gets whatever his contract is god knows like he's getting such a big piece of the pie that they need like three months to promote this guy to get their money's worth out of him i think and he's good at it right like half of the value that connor brings is the media tour so when whenever somebody drops out like like i think there's been twice he says there's twice where like fighters have dropped out and he's been like hey i'll jump in and they were like no no we can't pay you i'm just making up we can't pay you 10 of the fucking pay-per-view that we take in tonight without use without getting like a 60 days of you pumping this thing up and traveling to fucking ireland and getting getting people getting the irish to fly over here to vegas and

getting the whole like uh montage cooked up and everything without without the promo tour you're literally just not as valuable and that just makes sense unless you fight for less right like if he i guess maybe that's worth as the man says well but he's not worth as much without the media tour if he was like hey if i could not do the media tour thing maybe he'd be interested like i'll take seven million and i'll just go fight yeah you know instead of traveling all over and stuff. I don't know. I'll watch when he fights and I'll be a fan until he does. I like the guy.

I find him just so fascinating. I dislike the guy, but I like him on my TV. You know, I'm interested in Nate Diaz is that way too. He's already complaining, saying he didn't really lose. He's a bad loser loser he's a bad winner he's he's denies what's obviously truth he thinks he beat connor that second time he did i don't i watched that fight three fucking times like like whenever i bought like the espn fight thingy the monthly subscription service i was like holy shit i can just watch this fight whenever i want and i

watched it once by myself and then my dad came over he didn't know what conor mcgregor was so i was like let's just watch every fight he's ever had and uh and and after watching it three times like i think i'll agree with the professional judges and the the vast majority of the human beings who also watched it and say it looked like he was gonna chop him down by round three connor did like he was somehow the leg kicks just stopped working nate was limping and at the end of round two and like having a mobility problem and then somehow in rounds three and four like it just stopped it was almost like they snuck him a fucking shot in the in. Leg went numb and he didn't have to worry about it anymore. But honestly, that's what it looks like.

It's almost like his legs went numb and now he could no longer feel them. He's a real fucking warrior. There's that part in Sin City where Clive Owen is doing the voiceover and he's talking about Marv. Marv's character sitting at the bar. He's like, Marv would have fit in fine on some battlefield 1,200 years ago. Putting a battle axe through some other fool's head. They'd have fit in fine on some battlefield 1200 years ago putting a battle axe through some other fool's head they'd have thrown him girls like nancy back then and it's like yeah he does not belong in our time he's a goddamn barbarian i feel like nate diaz is almost

that kind of guy he'd have been a great fucking nate diaz says that he's like i'd be the baddest caveman out there you know and and i think you what? If no one else is on steroids, he's way up there. Now, I don't think Masvidal's on steroids, but I'm sure he's fought guys who are. Yeah, of course. I think Masvidal's a bad motherfucker, though. I think that about Lozon's career, too. Like, you know, how much better would his career have been

if everyone else was clean? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I agree. He'd definitely have a couple more wins, and those wins might translate themselves to win streaks and translate themselves to different fights in front of him that are better matchups. You never know.

There's an alternate universe where Joe beats Pettis and gets a title shot. Pettis' career fell off with USADA. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. shot that you know that that would that that is his career fell off with usada yeah yeah yeah i think that was the case i think if he'd beaten pettis especially if he'd like ko pettis or like submitted pettis like like i think so too yeah that the guy he beat before him was fighting for a title fight it was uh like a thing with um he dyed his hair oh yeah edgar melvin gallard melvin gallard yeah melvin gallard would have had a title shot if he beat joe right so that's the joe was like that level he didn't when joe and pettis were on the card one of them would have filled in for the title shot on the card it It was Edgar versus Henderson. They got them to go out to Japan by saying, hey, you know what?

One of those guys falls through. One of you two is going to fight for a title or an interim title. It was either Joe or Pettis. Clearly, the winner of that got a title shot. It was kind of a title eliminator, and it didn't go Joe's way. Yeah.

What are you going to do? Won his last one convincingly. I hope we get to see him fight again. It'll eliminate her and it didn't go Joe's way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, what are you going to do? One is last one convincingly. I hope, I hope we get to see him fight again or I hope he just rides off from the sunset and enjoys his, uh, his life.

Either way is cool. Every way. Either way is cool with me. Man's got a great life. Yes. Yeah. Any outros? There are no outros. All right. By the the way midi loved you guys spamming him

um with with messages so keep that up keep on spamming i don't know what we're talking about uh i'm on the pkn i told people to message midi if they wanted to play with me because they have these steam i don't know how to like My Steam settings disallow messages and friend requests from coming in. Uh-huh. So I just directed them to MIDI. Well, hey, if you want to play with Taylor or I, send a message to MIDI. And if you have any packages

you'd like to send to me or Taylor, Woody's address, easily Googleable. No, you know what? Send those to MIDI also. Yeah. Actually, and he'll forward them all right pka 464