Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #465

Episode Date: November 22, 2019

In this week's PKA, loud, always screaming man himself, Asterios Kokkinos is back on the show and the guys enjoy several videos from the new media sensation... giant breakout brawl fights at Popeyes establishments due to a lack of Chicken Sandwiches, then the guys give their 2 cents on various movies and TV shows and get in deep with The Mandalorian. 

paid killer already episode 465 with our guest asterios kyle a couple of sponsors tonight go.com audible morgan and morgan and manscaped we'll get to all those guys later on in the show of course but yeah we got our good friend asterios back on the show the loudest motherfucker on the radio we had to turn his gain down not once not twice but thrice you're sponsored by morgan and morgan for the people we are yes yes we are did morgan and morgan get one of you guys out of that gun problem is that why you're is that why the response are yours maybe i should have called them they're for the people imagine going with a law firm that's against the people i would never do that. Exactly. Now that Jacoby and Myers have broken up

and it's just Jacoby and Jacoby. Yeah, I love those guys. Sorry to interrupt. Sorry. I'm very loud. Hi. Hey. Welcome aboard. Those are all excellent companies with quality products and services. Yes, they are. On this frosty

Thursday night, we're glad to have you. I have not had heat in my home for about a week now at first i thought that like i'll just man up and let's see what it's like without central heating you know i've got a fireplace you know the arctic blast broke fewer than 200 records i'm told holy fucking shit it drops to about 50 degrees inside my home during like – I'm like 50 is not that cold. But in the home it's cold. Yeah, 50 is not that bad until you sit on the toilet seat.

It's not a good inside temperature. As an outside temperature, it didn't sound so extreme to me. Outside, look, I get I'm in the south. I'm in Atlanta, Georgia. I've got friends in Minnesota, Minnesota, and all kinds – in Canada and places like that. They get real legitimate winners. But those motherfuckers also have heat.

OK. Yeah. And coats. And well, you know, again, this is not a decorative coat that I am. I am fucking cold. This is not one of the rooms that has a fireplace attached to it. It is cold. How many rooms do you have that have fireplaces?

I have two rooms with fireplaces attached to them. You live in double fireplace style in Atlanta, GA? I have five fireplaces, I think. You have five? God damn it! God, I've only got one fireplace. I feel like a bitch. Yeah, I'm not trying to be braggadocious

at all. I know that Woody's over there like a fucking Game of Thrones character with hearths all over the place that Woody's over there like a fucking Game of Thrones character with hearths all over the place. There's fucking swords over his... This is an eight fireplace podcast! This is eight fireplaces, one show! I'm glad I get to contribute to that number.

How many fireplaces do we have between us? I've got two. Woody's got at least... I have five. Wait, wait, wait. Time out. How many actual fireplaces, not just rooms attached? Five? Well, does it have to burn wood to be a fireplace? Or can it be a gas?

No, it can be gas. Oh, five. You have five fucking fireplaces. I do, yeah. I want to know, have you actually used them all? I have a few, and I thought that was fancy. This is the one we use, and those are the four extraneous. By far, the one we use the most is the kitchen.

Every morning, I swear, Jackie and I will get up at different times, and I open my eyes and I'm like, oh, it's morning time. Jackie's been my best friend for 25 years, and we start off every morning with a cup of coffee, hanging out in the kitchen, talking. The most popular topics are kids and politics. And in the wintertime, the fireplace is a key part of it.

It's a little chilly. It's not everything you want. I might be wearing underwear and a t-shirt. And we crank up that fireplace and we talk. And that's how I start off all my days. But that's the one we use the most. There's four more. Okay.

Who makes the coffee? Either Jackie makes both or we each make our own. I never make hers. But she wouldn't want that. My parents, when they were married, had this really interesting situation where my mother is a teacher. So obviously she's off during the summertime. And so when she was working in the rest of the year, my father always made the coffee. This is pre-Kurig days.

It's a pot of coffee. He would always get up early, make that pot of coffee and he'd come back to bed before she like got up and got out of bed with her cup of coffee. But in the summertime when she's off and obviously he's working, she did that. She took over and she would get up very early, make the pot of coffee come. And of course me, I would wake up at like 7 a.m and i would think like this is early because i'm a child there's no coffee by 7 a.m that's not a thing i was i always had to make my own coffee you wanted coffee as a kid i never drank coffee yeah like i was because i would i've always been the type who would like stay up all fucking night long even though i had shit to

do the next day and be like three hours of sleep isn't so bad ah four two hours isn't so bad if meanwhile it's like well you're not a light switch you can't just go to sleep like that it's gonna take you 30 minutes you're gonna get an hour and a half sleep so yeah i wanted coffee in high school i like this is how i added a fireplace behind him i got five this is how coffee this is the coffee psychology in our mornings. So my coffee is not that sweet when I make it myself because sexy is a sacrifice. And on the other hand, Jackie makes coffee and it's just,

it's, it's sugarific. So everyone, you know what I've been doing with coffee recently? I won't make a sugar filled coffee, but if I request one, it's the same thing. Here's what I put in my coffee recently this is about

a thing i've been doing for about three weeks now i put a scoop of cocoa in there not cocoa not like like chocolate not like not chocolate milk like not hot chocolate there's no sugar in it you know it's like the hershey's cocoa there's no calories in that it's just the cocoa which i understand has antioxidants and is good for you but that that's not what I'm doing. I'm doing it because it'll sort of taste more like chocolate. And then I'll put like literally a half a teaspoon of like fucking sugar in there. And that's my coffee. And I, my interest. This sounds interesting.

Yeah. Like coffee's bitter anyway. So you don't mind that you've got non-sweetened cocoa in there, which again is supposedly good for you. And I'm drinking it right now. It tastes like the worst chocolate you've ever had, but it's better than just black coffee. For the same antioxidant reason, that's why I drink half a bottle of red wine every morning. I feel terrible throughout the day, but I know that I'm getting my antioxidants.

He feels worse without the wine though so it's it keeps the shakes away hey well we're talking about alcoholics oh god that's a wow what a transition here we go all right what do you got please continue woody uh so i i have the link up let me oh no i closed the wrong link taylor can you help me find the link it's a it's the second most recent chat oh did you yeah 7 17 i'm scrolling oh wait i found it yeah boy oh boy it's just mr medicare's twitter and he's got lots of very graphic photos of the new updated leg holes and they look i would say much worse does everyone know what it depends on how you like well there is a picture on the screen for the non-audio video people only blades legs yeah kyle go ahead why don't you finish your thought

yeah i was just wondering if every single listener understood what we meant. First of all, we like Only Use Me Blade. We talked about this before the show, how each of us in turn like him as a guy. And we've all had good experiences with him, and he's been kind to us from time to time. So I don't want this to feel like some sort of an attack. This is really just us being really worried about the guy. Because Only Use Me Blade has always had a penchant for alcoholism let's just say fancy way to say that and wait wait i'm so sorry what's the guy's name oniza blade only use me blade that was his screen name and the purpose the reason for

that was in call of duty he would make these videos where he only used the knife like he would only melee people whereas all of his enemies were using machine guns and stuff in the video game Call of Duty. He handicapped himself in game and still was successful. He's about to handicap himself in real life. You guys are on fire. They make fun of me in my live streams he was nice to me like 10 years ago brought me probably literally like six or eight years ago yeah it was cool as shit to me six or eight years ago we were in seattle like and i was i was like hey blade what's going on

we met outside this building and he's like yo you want a blunt and i'm like fuck yeah i want a blunt how'd you get a blunt here because weed wasn't't legal there. Hit it in my leg holes. He's like, I stowed them in my leg holes. And no, what he did, he rolled up blunts, put them right back in the blunt package and like, just put them in his shirt pocket and flew through TSA security package.

You mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They come in, you know, the cigar package and just flew with weed to Seattle.

And I thought that was so cool you know and he popped one out and you know let me hit it a few times and i've always appreciated that like not everybody wants to share their ill-gotten weed okay here's my my story when keemstar was attacking colin i talked to blade and i was like blade can you talk to this guy and he did he wasn't successful keemstar kept attacking my son but i i don't know i was i was appreciative that he tried but yeah suffice it to say we'd all be happy if he got his leg holes filled yeah and he little bondo with liquor fill him up and then do leg shots oh my god the green stuff we started to talk about the green stuff pre-show because it's on the shoes i'm

thinking either slid in grass or played paintball he's probably actively playing paintball and exercising things like that yeah okay let's not let's not get to it what do you think it is halloween day you're saying that a guy who mastered melee weapons in a gun on gun violence game probably goes for five mile jogs every morning at 7 a.m i see the holes in this theory i that you also see the holes in his legs we were all going for it nine fireplaces and three whole leg jokes that looks to me like some sort of effect caused by the camera holes have well the green thing i think is definitely caused by the camera

oh yeah maybe mowing his because it's it's on his shoes no no no it's it's not actually green like if you look with your human eye it would not be there that's something caused by the flash or the camera that's some sort of weird digital noise that's being created there i didn't think that but i okay i think it's not, but the thing that's new and exciting about these leg hole updates is up until this point, there's never been a spot in the leg holes that's fully dark where you can't discern the depth of the hole itself.

Now there is like something the size of a pencil eraser that is jet black. Like how deep does this hole go? Like if he got a pipe cleaner, how far could he get it in there a couple centimeters would it feel good i can't imagine it would let me ask you this taylor yeah how much money and we're talking dollar dollary dues okay the real the real stuff what it take for you to tongue fuck one of those holes look now now stick with me here you can do whatever you want before

and after the tongue fucking you can be shit faced wasted and afterwards you can gargle with pure alcohol if you want you can kill yourself immediately after or immediately before your family gets the money but you gotta tongue fuck that hole and i mean you gotta you have to pretend like that hole is the vagina of the most beautiful woman you've ever met and and making her get off right now might secure you a second 10 000 bitcoin 80 gift card to apple no no 90 i'll do $50,000. We have a bidding war. There will be no cameras and no one but you and Blade will know about it.

To me personally, that's important. How deep is it? See, that's the question. Let's say $50,000. The green is that steep. I know. Realistically, I'm putting a price on myself that's totally

if someone had like 20 grand in cash and was like tongue that that's what i always say i'll like even take my clothes off that's what i always say people always like throw out those audacious figures and i'm like when you see cash money in front of you like when and that's why the best like prank shows and the best like reality, they break out fucking cash money. Because when you see those $100 bills, or even better, honestly, are $50 bills, because you almost respect them equally to the $50. But there's twice as many. If you see fucking $8,000 in 50s in front of you, that's a wad of 50s. And they're like, tongue fuck that hole for third

for eight seconds but you're always the guy who tongue fucked this no no no one will know no see that's that's my no i'll do it for eight dollars and 99 cents applebee's starter yes they have unlimited apps now you buy once you can stay there all day do you mean to tell me they have bottomless nachos before the meal and they're gonna raise my sizzle tonin yes i'll tell you what because blade's a nice guy and i'm not a wholist like you i'd let him blow me for free that's very nice that's not on the table i don't think jackie would be okay with that uh probably not that's a curious question i'd rather that's a question i would honestly like an answer to like i don't know if you want to press the

issue and text jackie right now i'd be like how would you feel if for some dollar figure a man gave me oral sex and maybe even throw him the caveat that only me you and only use me blade will ever know about it and me and kyle and hysteria and kyle and taylor and hysteria and the listeners i see texting happening yeah but just the subreddit okay but here's the problem if these holes big enough, you might get a calf job. Like, what if it's in the dark and all of a sudden you're like, oh, yeah, look, my dick's being put in this moist, gooey cavern. Oh, yay. And you wake up and you came in this guy's thigh.

What will you do then? I mean, if anything, my semen will help heal it. That's a good point. He might need some healing semen at this point because i don't feel like he's putting if i were him i'd be putting some neosporin in there something right that's my answer to everything like i use that for razor burn cuts scratches neosporin goes on everything i keep up one of those big fat tubes i feel like he's not looking after this thing you know it doesn't seem like he is you're telling me that an alcoholic isn't taking care of his body that's the thing like so dude the first pictures we saw it didn't look that bad to me i've said this before so quickly like it just looked like scrapes that

i've had a million times and people who seem to know more like chiz and taylor were saying no that's actually this is a serious situation the next one struck me as serious and it was weird to me that he would let a bad thing get worse like who doesn't take care of their health what i see now it's still on the screen is uh like how could he ignore this problem to let it get to this point? You know what might actually fix this is Mighty Putty. Is that our first sponsor for tonight? No, it's not. Damn, that would have been a great transition.

She's writing back. It's this putty that you can put. I know what it is because this prankster at our high school put it in a bunch of locks around the school the keyholes and it's like a putty and it will become like a rock like concrete after it sets yeah and so i don't see a downside blade if you're listening to this mighty putty if it's still the same price as it was before that telemarketer fucking not telemarketer tv marketer guy died of a cocaine overdose it's like 1999 a couple easy payments billy mays that was his name man he was cool it's a shame billy mays here with a brand new tv offer i have jackie's do you have holes in your legs are they painful and do you not want to stop drinking a gallon of jaeger every morning i've got the solution for you mighty putty put it in your gross necrotic leg holes i i when i'm fixing my friends necrotic leg holes i just need a little

bit of cocaine some mighty potty yeah that's what you need it blows me away that he's in this condition i like i still can't get past the same thing that he has legs like this and doesn't consider it his top priority. Oh, yeah. It should be a number one priority. That would be number one. Number one on my fucking list of things to do as soon as the holes start growing in my flesh.

He must wake up in the morning and be like, I guess I got a live stream, get some Jaeger in me. There's some couch laying to do and that's probably it. you know what i want to do and this is the thing that i've always been weird about since i was a kid like whenever i got a scab or something i enjoyed pouring hydrogen peroxide on the scab yeah on like scabs and fizzles

and scrapes and see it fizzle up and it felt good it was almost like alka-seltzer in a wound and i want to pour alka-seleltzer inside Blade's leg holes. Oh, how much would you pay for that opportunity? I would literally pay $25 if you recorded it. I have Jackie's reply. So this is how I phrase the question. Probably no. The show came up with the question,

how would you feel if some dude blew me? Is that cheating? What dollar amount would make it okay? She said, this is why I don't watch the show. I would not like it, and it is cheating, and no amount of money is worth our relationship. I said, Roger that. And then she added, and I blame Kyle.

She's blaming you. Making inroads. All right. Noted. She'll never see that. she's blaming you making inroads noted she'll never see that I'm really happy she doesn't watch the show if I saw 10 grand in like tens that would be enough to sway me

what does that look like is that a hundred tens or a thousand tens thousand ten dollar bills that's a lot what is that so a stack of the the paper bound ones usually 50 bills right does that sound it's like two and a half pounds of money like that's a good wad of money i wonder i always find it disappointing I'm doing it though Would I contract whatever he has in there In my mouth

You mean alcoholism Yes you would need to become An alcoholic To put that out of your mind In fact that's probably how he got To become an alcoholic in the first place He took someone's leg holes And had to Jaeger it out of his brain

It was like a monkey's paw wish gone wrong. I just wake up after a blackout standing in line at the grocery store with five gallons of Jaeger on the conveyor belt. Yes, it was like a monkey's paw wish gone wrong. He held a dead monkey's paw and wished to tongue someone's leg holes. And then it went wrong somehow. I want to be a successful streamer. Ooh, okay. I know he'll see this.

He'll probably see it, right? Well, again, I don't feel like we're being mean at all. We want him to see it. No, look. Nobody wants to see this going. Let me just be clear. We are absolutely being mean, and we're using your leg holes as content. We would also like you to, I don't know, get a doctor, talk to a therapist,

do something to stop drinking your legs into Swiss cheese. What is happening? Why does drinking alcohol do this to your legs? Is it a weight gain? I don't think it's the i don't think it's the out well it's the alcohol but also his drink of choice is jaeger which is like the sugariest sugary alcohol out there and so this kind of thing in people's legs happens when you have diabetes and so i think can i interrupt you with a question i'm gonna do you think that if he

drank an equivalent amount of pink lemonade that he would have legs like this uh understand what the equivalent amount of pink lemonade that he would have legs like this? Do you understand what the equivalent amount of pink lemonade would be? The population of America would be decimated. I'm just saying that literally if he was like, guys, I'm going to drink exactly the same amount I am now, but it's going to be flavorless vodka in water. That would be a huge improvement. Health advice from PKA. Yeah, no, it really would because at least there's not as much sugar in there.

Any kind of alcohol that's not just loaded with sugar. Tequila. Tequila has no sugar. But at this point, he's like a bridge too far. Yeah. No, see, this is an area where I, so I'm really shallow on medical knowledge when it comes to leg holes.

Don't let it stop you. It seems like if he stopped, this would heal in days. It is a centimeter deep at the most, right? Wait a minute. Wait, your advice to an alcoholic is to stop? He probably never considered that. Wait god this is a man i have to write this down and pat this before bka gets rich yeah that is funny yeah our advice to you is stop drinking but i didn't actually phrase it like that i said but in terms of the severity of it like

a lot of people see this and see a point of no return i'm like what no he can turn this around right now i don't know what i'm talking about but those are shallow leg holes i've probably had leg holes like that just from none of us have ever had leg holes you hit things right one time i never had a leg hole i crashed my bike into a barbed wire fence once and i had leg holes deeper than that yeah but you had a nice event to tie it back to i did yeah it wasn't like well i drank four gallons of jaeger and then i rode my bike into the i wasn't drinking at all i was just going too fast like yeah he i don't think i think that the

reason people are saying he won't come back from it is because he hasn't tamped down the drinking. I don't watch his streams or anything, but my understanding of it is he's just kind of carrying on business as usual. And so people are discerning and inferring from that, ah, this is going down a road and it seems like it's one way or the other. It's like he's showing off a beer belly. He's like, hey, it looks like the alcohol is getting to me a little bit, but what are you going to do But what are you going to do?

What are you going to do? Yeah. It's such a struggle. And lots of people have huge beer bellies without holes in their legs. I wish that Ice Poseidon would play some sort of a drinking game where they hit ping pong balls into it or something like that. And if you lost, you had like the girls had to lick it or something like that. We should guess it's displacement, right? You could fill it with the fluid and pour that fluid into a beaker of some sort.

Into a girl's mouth. I would like to use the holes as shot glasses. You ever see where they'll do a belly button shot where they'll put the shot glass in a girl's belly button and you'll lick the salt off her belly and you'll do the shot off of her belly button and you'll bite the lime out of her mouth mouth i want to see someone do that to blade except they lick the salt off of his knee they take the shot out of his knee out of his leg hole and then they take the lime right out

of his mouth he gets his wound sanitized they get to drink it's a win-win win-win for everyone i remember especially the viewers some friends of mine who were in a fraternity in college. This was freshman year. They used to come back to the dorm and bitch about what they had to do. And it was obviously all guys. They got the older people in the fraternity, the brothers, made them all get really fucked up. And the whole time we're like, we're celebrating, boys.

We're doing body shots tonight. Body shots. Got them all tanked. And then they all had to do body shots off of each other. And so they'd have to lick their brother's chest hair or their fellow pledge's chest hair. They didn't even have a shot glass in the belly buttons. They just filled respective belly buttons with alcohol. Do they have to?

They put themselves in a position where they have to lick other men's bellies. If they wanted to to get away with it if it was a woman who was sexually assaulted you wouldn't say the same thing would he stop being a sexist and it was it was i it was the jewish fraternity there were a bunch of jewish people in my my uh my dorm and so they all went to the jewish fraternity and the even funnier than that was i was talking to him like the middle of the year, and they're like, yeah, well, I had friends and other frats who were like, we blew all our fucking money on that party. I guess we're just eating chicken tenders until next month's dues are in. And they're like, the Jewish fraternity guys were like, actually, we made some money.

We reinvested it, and we're hoping to get a nice return by this time next year. Guys, you can't say things like this you're making me want to make fun of you for being smart i guess but i'm gonna point out that the phrase we had like we we had to do shots out of our like frat brothers bellies it's like that's a very long trip to just avoid coming out of the closet like forming a fraternity like hazing a bunch of people it's like i get it it's hard to tell your parents but come on i'll ask my wife if that's gay or okay there you go yeah ask her if he can drink a shot out of taylor's belly button yeah dude you do not want to take a shot out of my belly button oh it'll be shows what you know about me. There is so much hair down there.

There is so much hair in Taylor's belly button. Yeah. I mean, I bet Asterios, you're Greek. You probably are hairy. Oh, I bet you're a wolf man under that shirt. I shaved my stomach for a long time because it was real gross and it only made the hair worse. And now it's like a fucking Brillo pad oh like surrounding my navel it's disgusting jesus wait but you're half greek half what else i'm half greek uh part chinese part

portuguese and part west indian so you didn't get anything else you didn't get any of the luck with the hairless chinese thing you got the greek i got the chinese eyes and then everything else is Greek. It's goddamn ridiculous. It sucks, man. Yep. Yeah. I'm so hairy that bears jerk off to me. They're like, wow, I had no idea a man could be this hairy.

You know what's going to be cool? When we discover the first animal that's not a monkey that's discovered beating off. I've seen a dog do it. You saw a dog beat off? Yeah. They were blowing themselves probably, right? No, no, no.

They do this thing where they take their two paws together, get it down there on the boner, and they do one of these. That is hilarious. That's great. Yeah. If you Google it, you'll find a video. I won't Google it, but that's great. I've already Googled it dogs beating off their

paws yeah it's a thing so all right it seems like the sort of thing you'd want to bing but anyway if we're done discussing uh blade first of all blade if you do hear this we really do wish you the best we we we do love you lately i i was gonna say we we care about you but we love you we love you you know we've known you forever i was watching to say we care about you, but we love you. We love you. We've known you forever. I was watching your videos a decade ago, it seems like. I also love Dr. Pepper. Jesus Christ.

Alright, fair enough. I mean, Dr. Pepper's pretty fucking good. I mean, Blade would agree. It's tasty stuff. 23 flavors. What are you going to do? Dr. Pepper and Blade, right there. Same level of love. Neck and neck. It's tasty stuff. 23 flavors. What are you going to do? I can tell him how I... Dr. Pepper and Blade. Right there.

Same level of love. Neck and neck. Neck and neck. All right? And that says a lot because I enjoy a good Dr. Pepper. Even a diet Dr. Pepper, which is literally right here. Always close to my heart. Does it also have 23 flavors?

It has 23 flavors, but one of them is bullshit because there's no sugar in there. Yeah, we do wish the best for you. And we hope you get those leg holes fixed because we're worried that you're going to be one-legged at best. If you hear this, dude, stop rolling the dice on it. Just go to a doctor. Go to a doctor. It'd make a great vlog. Hey, look, you want a successful stream, dude,

go to the fucking doctor. Look. Oh, my God. What an idea. If he live streamed his... There's probably some HIPAA violation in there, but if he would allow it... There's a doctor who would allow it. For sure.

From the Simpsons, yeah. Hello, everybody. Hi, everybody. Last week, I operated on wings of redemption stomach. This week, only use me blade's legs. Uh-oh, you have more holes in your leg than is normal. Yeah, get Dr. Nick or somebody. I would tune in that stream.

What am I saying? I videoed my pin removal from a broken hand. That's true. Wings did that whole video where he got that thing left. Yeah, dude, that would be. You can definitely record dude that would be definitely record that would be that would be a great live stream i want to see that live stream i mean you should pick it up like make an appointment right nine days from now i'm about

to see a doctor about my leg holes it'll get like anticipated it might trend on reddit he could have 75 000 concurrent viewers to follow up on his leg holes you don't think it would be huge i can guarantee you one i can i i have proof that this works i am not kidding when i say this i was an alcoholic and i smoked drugs forever and i went sober in may because i had a bet on my podcast that if we could double our downloads, I would go sober for a year. And so many people subscribe to my show out of spite and to see a guy who like love to drink and party have to not drink and party that it worked. And I've been sober since May and I'm well on my way to a year i haven't smoked weed or i haven't drank at all so seriously knife killer guy baby slasher whatever your name

is like uh if you tell your fans that if you break a million subscribers or if you raise ten thousand dollars you'll go sober they'll do it people do want to see you live and not die. You're giving me an idea. People, if I get a million subs, I will also get sober. You don't look like an alcoholic. Reverse one. If I get a million subs, I'll become an alcoholic. That's also fun.

There you go. Either that works for Blade. Yeah. I'll drink nothing. I'll cut out water entirely. Just imagine how bad you'd feel. Two days in. This is eminently monetizable. Like people clearly don't want to see you die.

Like you could tweet pictures of your leg holes healing up. You could make it a whole thing. Dude, his redemption like story arc would be fun to watch. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. All right. If we're done hoping that Blade does better, giving him advice, I have a little story here

that I found on the internet. I'll go ahead and link it to you first. I don't know what this is, but he was telling us there's a topic he's excited about. Oh, I was laughing about this too. So there is a video, and perhaps we could watch that after I talk this over a bit, but it says the headline is a bucket of hot diarrhea was randomly poured on a woman by a homeless man. All right. You just hit like five of PKA's keystone topics here in one thing.

A bucket of hot diarrhea was poured on a woman by a homeless man. All right? I believe this was right near... I don't think that's in the video, though. We haven't had a cool guy of the week category lock in a while. And this guy is leading the way. That is hilarious. So this was very near the Hollywood Walk of Fame,

a place where I've been there before many times. A night near the Hollywood Walk of Fame would change a woman's life. And she was getting into her car and a homeless man sprinted across Hollywood Boulevard toward her. Heidi Van Tessel, stupid name, was parked in Hollywood after having a pleasant evening out with friends at an authentic Thai restaurant. After having a pleasant evening out with friends at an authentic Thai restaurant, suddenly a man randomly pulled her out of her car, dragged her into the middle of the street, and dumped a bucket of feces on her head. Van Tessel said, and the public records confirm. Good God. Quote, quote, it was diarrhea. Hot liquid. i was soaked and it was coming off of my eyelashes

and flowing into my eyes anyone else getting a boner right now i'm so hard paramedics who came to treat me said i've had it since the leg holes so paramedics who came to treat me said that there was so much of it on me that it looked as if the man had been saving it up for at least one month. Van Tessel was rushed to the Hollywood Presbyterian Hospital after the grotesque attack where she was tested for infectious diseases caused by contact with feces. She'll need to be retested every three months for quite some time, unfortunately. She said, quote, it was all inside my car because it was so much. He just kept pouring and pouring it, and it was splattering all over me, she said. The Los Angeles Police Department told her that they'd investigate the crime, but her phone

calls to the department went unanswered. It's so traumatic. The PTSD that I'm dealing with is beyond anything that I've ever felt. Post-traumatic shit disorder. That's right. Thank you. There needs to be some kind of

help for victims of these crimes Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum Law and order I mean, what does she want them to make a poop patrol? Like, what does she mean we need help for victims? We have help for victims of these crimes It's called a towel A towel.

The man who attacked her identified in court records as Jerry Blessings was charged with battery and taken to jail. That doesn't seem severe enough. Blessings was described as a transient with schizophrenia and psychotic disorders. You know what? The most fascinating part of it to me

is was he solely responsible for filling up the shit bucket or was he delegating some of this role to his homeless friends but it sounds like because he was crazy that he really did just keep a bucket of diarrhea and fill it for a whole month i feel like this guy has been looking at all these fancy white folk down there on hollywood boulevard coming out of their authentic thai restaurants bellies full faces happy smiles shit why the question is what role did the thai restaurant play in the diarrhea that's what i want to know it was authentic diarrhea there is no evidence we contributed to that shit she never claimed that there were any hard nuggets in this bucket of diarrhea it was pure diarrhea the good stuff so what was his diet

i mean i would say probably not ideal yeah i mean like even then when you have bad diarrhea you don't maintain it for a month if you have a couple diarrhea shits in a row, maybe he squatted over it to fire off some turds and some solid ones came out. And he had to kind of almost use like a kitty litter strainer to a strainer because he's a purist. He's crazy, but he's a purist. He's not going to put turds on someone that's low class. He's a diarrhea savant. He's a high class. Yeah.

You scoop out the hard parts. That poor fucking lady, can you imagine something as terrifying as being dragged out of your car? She's sweet too. And having shit dumped on you? The next line we didn't read is, he doesn't need jail time, he needs mental health care. I have empathy for him because he needs help. She's not

wrong, but she's too nice. If this happened to me i would be like for years i was against it but i'm pro death penalty now they should drown that man in shit to make an example to the other hobos they need a judge like from the seinfeld like you have to be his butler or whatever it's like all right she gets a month to fill a bucket with as much diarrhea as she can and then she gets support into your open eyes held open and with like clockwork orange stuff yeah yeah like those Japanese pornos I like so much

if I had any sort of authority over the way things work this country would be in shambles it was double horrifying to me that he pulled her out of her car for some reason i thought she was like sitting on a bench or you know doing those things we were just asking for this but no she was just driving by the things that we do yeah and look at how she was dressed to be fair she's wearing brown that's a white shirt taylor there's actually no picture guys i don't even know oh that poor lady that sucks but also very funny funny bit from the shit man from the shit man i'd love to get him on as a guest next week just just all schizoed out and just just shitting in his bucket while he speaks to us yeah i mean that might be good for a couple minutes. And then he actually,

no, no, he could kind of just join the show. Yeah. I'm a little threatened. He might replace one of the hosts. Shit bucket man. Full time host.

Am I right, boys? No, Fred. Top 5% Shit fucking man The CIA told me to do it CIA and the Bilderberg group Chiz can you make it happen

You got the bagel dude Work your magic Oh the bagel dude had a stroke this week Color me surprised. Get out. Good. Fuck that little fuck. Who cares?

Hope he dies. I thought he was great for the first half hour he was on. I was loving his energy, his vibe. And then, I don't know. I thought his stories were funny because all it took was a mention of a woman having existed somewhere. He'd be like, but also, fuck women!

And all these bitches, now they're gonna... What the fuck did he say that was so goddamn delusional when he's like, when I'm out there on my yacht, guess what? None of you ladies are getting on board and we're like, dude, you're sitting on a futon a futon the duplex right now talking about your failed vacuum business like dude he thought he was gonna get rich he's an incels incel right he's super inside king of the incel first draft

first overall draft pick he's not ugly either like i feel like we on the inside yes he is ugly on super miserable ugly on the inside and and i can hardly get over how like the amount of hate he has in towards women i if i was a girl i wouldn't find him attractive at all but if he was like sort of self-confident and and i don't know like you can be successful at his height that's not a problem you could be successful with women at his height daniel devito did it right well ria perlman are we really calling ria perlman a successful venture uh she has things that women that men like money like a beard? Money and a pussy. You know?

That's a pretty good combo, actually. That's an unusual combo. How much money does Rhea have? She played a waitress on Cheers 30 years ago. I don't know. Everybody knows your name. There goes the copyright claim. We had a shot with blade and cheers

we had we said again we had me and woody took a shot with blade and cheers oh i was there with you yeah but uh but t-mart was outside and so we left oh yeah that gets that really rings back to that whole thing about how like me and woody were the only adults in this large group of children. That was one of the few people who had been in the car. Yeah, I have insurance too. Really? Do you have a car? Yeah, I own it. Me too. Do we need to become

best friends? Were you at Cheers 1 or Cheers 2? Cheers 1, I think. The one that looks like Cheers from the outside? Yeah, down some steps in Boston. Cheers 1 is the one that looks like Cheers from the outside. It looks nothing like Cheers

on the inside. And then Cheers 2 looks like Cheers on the inside and looks like a mall on the outside. So was Cheers 2 the filming of Cheers? Is that where Cheers happened? No, what happened was so many people went to Cheers 1, which is also known as the Bull and Finch,

and went inside and were immediately disappointed because it's just like a tiny, old-timey, rich person restaurant that they were like, we will make a thing that looks like Cheers so you can get a drink at Cheers and get yourself a cheers. And that was Cheers 2. A good business idea i mean i worked for a long time it must be wearing out at some point that show was from the 80s and it's practically the 20s i think cheers 2 is closed now but cheers 1 is still open i also think mystic pizza 2 is

closed now but mystic pizza 1 is still open is that where all those high-profile people were raping kids? That's comic pizza. Oh my god! That was Pizza Planet from the Toy Story series. No, no, no. The claw is what they call Jeffrey Epstein's long reach. Oh. That would be a funny edit to the

Toy Story movie. I love doing the claw. I love doing the claw on the girls because their heads are just the right size. And I've got enough grip strength that I can really hurt them. Where are you grabbing them? The back of the head? No, right on top. Right on top.

And just fucking squeeze as hard as you can. Really dig in. And you have to play it up, right? You have to be like, I'm sorry, I can't. He's in charge now. You oh sorry they're like what the fuck and i'm like it's the claw and you know just watch this video kyle sent and i really want to see it now i can't play music yeah you want to mute that bitch are you guys ready for this yeah you want to watch the video i just linked but but

you definitely want to use it so much want to watch the video I just linked, but you definitely want to mute it. I so much want to watch it. I wish you could listen to the music because the music feeds into this, but you don't. I heard seconds of it. It's I want to eat, but yeah. Are you guys ready? Yeah. Ready.

Ready, set, play. All right. She's licking the dog's tongue. It's weird. It got weirder. Look at the dog. The dog's like, I've made a huge mistake. Now, it says to report animal abuse. I don't

view that as animal abuse. It's kind of weird, but I bet that dog likes her. The dog's like, yeah, but... No, dude, that dog was lip-sticking that whole time. That's, I'm with you, Taylor. That dog's, that's a happy dog you just get how he was dressed totally naked have you ever tried to hold your dog's tongue

that's funny i've held the dog's tongue before that like uh i don't know they just lick your hand and you like hold it for a second and then i got the same like it fuck no not with like i'm the boss here that's i'll cut it off you son of a bitch uh tell him that now yeah scare the shit out of him my friend had a dog that was so dumb this i was a teenager he would cover its nose and it wouldn't think to open its mouth it would just panic what an idiot yeah he showed i texted taylor yesterday and i was like hey man my friend wants to see your dogs do you have uh you got any pictures of your dogs and me it's like and i'm like i thought so he's got like a 13 second video of his dog like trying to get over one of those baby

gates and it's like over it with its front paws but you know it's just slats it's just bars and so the dog's back legs are just kicking in the bar and it's just like oh oh oh and those little back legs those dogs are cute as fuck at first i was like oh look at those homely fucking like tarred puppies but now like i'm sold they're super duper cute they're so adorable yeah i told you you should be smarter tell your girlfriend she you need to show your girlfriend the the the reddit are rare puppers those dogs fit in right fit right i'm not letting her know forums like that exist. She needs to be a Redditor. No, she's the perfect kind of internet level for me as a girlfriend, where she's like, if she's using the internet, it's to look up recipes on Pinterest or fall decorating.

Or cleaning tips. Yeah. Well, not cleaning tips, but cooking stuff. Oh, look at this little cute fall pumpkin setup they have do you want to do no like that kind of stuff like she does not follow like youtubers really other than like a couple like fitness gals who like do like do it with me kind of like stuff. And anytime I'm online, just browsing on Twitter, I think she made a Twitter not even to follow me, just to keep tabs on my account and see.

And she'll eventually, every once in a while, just be like, oh, I saw that joke you tweeted. That was funny. And that's it. Perfect level of internet use, super low, and perfect. She just fucking Snapchats people people pictures of the dogs all day and i think that that is the level of internet use she should stay at that's a good call yeah it i like my wife is similar right she's not into the internet she's not on reddit she doesn't have a reddit account or ever go to that site and that's probably for

the best because to introduce the highs and lows that that the show brings to you to her stress she doesn't need yeah yep yep no reason for it but i'm being a minute i have made this dumbass decision to interact on facebook about politics again and it has brought me no joy you can't do that i'm dumb i i was a recovering addict and then today i jumped in again and uh i don't know good lord you stared too long into the void my friend and now the void is staring back into you you get involved in politics stuff on facebook it's or on twitter i don't think like every time i do i'm like i'm too dumb to be saying any sort of opinion is it that you're too dumb because i feel like the other guy's too dumb usually like you know they're

making arguments that are easy to debunk that's it if they say things that are factually accurate or like they have some opinion that it doesn't line up with me that's fine like i'm cool with that it's when they say things that are patently untrue it's like oh well this needs a correcting someone on the internet said something wrong and that's where my frustration is with like the other guy usually has blinders on and just chooses his own reality and i dumbly try to pierce it in some way and they never say thank you for opening my eyes, Woody. I'm an emotionally wealthier person because of it. Hasn't happened yet. Well, they probably know that you take

checks from George Soros. Taylor, you can't just tell everyone that. What the fuck? Yeah, I mean the problem is you can, if someone's on the internet saying 2 plus 2 is 5 you know, you could get, like, fuck you, who's up, Copernicus or something, get some math genius on there. Like, it doesn't matter, because when you're fighting on the internet, like, it's not about facts, it's about two people frustrated at their day jobs who just like want to yell at something and are like

i can take all my questions out of you into a keyboard it's just the internet is is us using each other like stress balls it's it's awful it really and then like you'll get the people like some of the most annoying people they'll be like yeah two plus two equals five yeah equals five and then you'll be like no i'm pretty sure that's not right and they're like oh do you have a peer-reviewed study that says that two plus two doesn't equal five have you gone through you and it's like well no why would anyone do that study dude i'm at the point i usually link sources like in my counter right like? On your Facebook? Literally, this is how I do shit, right?

Someone is like, did you know that Obama's website costs more than Trump's proposed wall? And I'm like, all right, a real research project for me. They're sitting over there like, look at him. Right? I can hear his keyboard from here. No, you think that. But no, they genuinely just choose their own reality where that's true, right? Well, that's definitely not true. Eventually, Woody's going to find out that I'm five of those boomers.

So I go and I link it, and I'm like, actually, I looked into this. This website was more expensive than I would think it should have been, but it's not more than a wall, right? This proposed wall or whatever and um they just go on and on then it gets personal you know they lean into the woody stick to youtube or why don't you leave no one will miss you and i'm like what is where is this coming from thank you stairs and uh yes so i i never get emotionally wealthier out of it never makes me feel good they never say thanks for opening my eyes of course that's not gonna happen i uh but i'm an addict and sometimes i get sucked into bullshit by the way that trick that chick who

was making out with the dog is like crazy crazy hot she's some kind of instagram model like like super duper hot i was into it too yeah i mean i mean i don't care if she fucks that little dog i'd be down so long as i'm three-way i'll just watch if she wants like whatever you know what however whatever however i can fit into the puzzle that is her life you know what if your puzzle is the other side of the dog i don't fucking well you know right What if that dog is basically a condom? If it's just the three of us, then okay. As long as Blade's not there. It's some sort of fleshlight in between you and her.

The three of us. All right, let's go. Let's go. Yeah, sure. Kyle's in. All right. The dog can only last so long. I admire your open-mindedness.

I'm down. Yeah. Dogs are very confused by human sex acts acts they don't know what's going on let me uh i feel like they're judgmental just one moment please kyle yeah yeah go ahead afterwards i get this look of like you know i was watching yeah i don't know that i entirely approve of some of those things you guys were up to is not your dogs no oh no they do like uh of those things you guys were up to this is not your dogs no oh no they do like uh just the other night my girlfriend was blowing me on our living room couch and the dogs are out there and they're like trying to like put their paws up on like my knees as i'm sitting there i'm like no no no this

is this isn't a you thing they're trying to like crawl over her a little bit of peanut butter and it could be taylor yeah and so they're and they do have you know what now that i'm thinking about it they do look judgy yes that's what i'm saying they look a little judgy but they also because like they're puppies they're like oh everything else i see you put in your mouth i want to eat and so i'm showing a lot of interest in that penis right now yeah i tell you with a little peanut butter that interest will keep up until you're done perfect i i should have mentioned it only started with my girlfriend i could see why you got two dogs it's been my fantasy to have two at the same time well we all want a threesome

what would you do with a million bucks to fucking lord saint two dogs at the same time man oh kyle thanks for the time but what were you saying an ad read i was gonna do a couple ad reads and then i have i'll let you think about what the next topic should be while i do the ads i'm thinking and this is just a couple options. If you have a completely different thing, we can go with that. I'd like to talk about maybe The Mandalorian, maybe Rick and Morty, maybe The King, that Netflix movie that you suggested last week. Or I have a video of what happens when there just aren't enough chicken sandwiches over at Popeye's and things get violent. Can we talk about both? I want to talk about Rick and Morty, and I finally tried that

chicken sandwich yesterday. It's fucking good. Alright, think it over. I'm going to do this little advertisement here. Pay the bills. If you're buying sneakers online, there's a good chance that the shoe you're wearing is fake. How can you be sure that it's real? Well, GOAT.com is the safest way to buy and sell authentic sneakers online.

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One, I think it's actually pretty cool that they verify the sneakers. That's a big deal. Is the eh, eh, eh part of the read, or is or is that a i've told you before i'll tell you again nope that's all me yeah memory like that's kyle thing deal yeah okay uh could listening make you a better parent a better leader even a better person could listening to motivating fitness programs get you fit could Could listening inspire you to start something new? There's never been a better time to start listening on Audible. With Audible, you get access to an unbeatable selection of audiobooks, including bestsellers,

motivation, mysteries, thrillers, memoirs, and more. Audible has the largest selection of audiobooks on the planet. And now, with Audible Originals, the selection has gotten even more customizable with content made just for their members. We recommend to our audience that they... I recommend. Here's some things that I read. I read Anthony Cumia's book, Permanently Suspended, The Rise and Fall and Rise Again

of Radio's Most Notorious Shock Jock. Very concise title. Very concise. I liked it. I really really liked it you got to hear what is basically his father setting him up to have sex with a grown big-titted woman when he is like 13 or something like that it's totally like some illegal uh you can hear about like his cross-country road trip with his brother where they have like basically his mom his mom and his father are divorced anthony kumi his father lives on the west coast the mother on

the east coast i believe in new jersey she sends money for a plane ticket to the father for him and his brother plane tickets the father keeps all the money and gives them money just enough for bus tickets and buses them home instead. And they spend what little money that he gave them on marijuana. So now they have no father was a Jewish fraternity of university of Missouri. They literally spent money wisely. They nearly starved to death on the way back home. It's a great book. Uh, also, you know, tons of books. I, I obviously recommend 11, 22, 63 also available over Audible, so check that out too. Audible members can choose three titles every month, so you can get them all. All these that I've recommended.

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This is how all three of us, I believe, listen to books when we're not fucking incarcerated. So audible.com slash pka or text pka to 500-500. You can listen for a change. That's audible.com slash pka or text pka to 500-500. Don't miss out on this offer. I highly recommend them. It's great great once you get started you you're gonna love it i legit recommend if you use amazon a lot sometimes you can choose

slower shipping and get free books and that's a nice little tie-in because amazon owns audible kyle's doing the ad reading like would fitness make you fit i'm like i don't know listening to sci-fi doesn't make you a scientist i tried that but i didn't know i like sci-fi doesn't make you a scientist. I tried that. But I didn't know I like sci-fi books. Like, I didn't know. I thought sci-fi in book form would be stupid because so much of it to me is, like, kind of visual and lasers and shit like that. And then I listen to sci-fi books, and it's better. It's, like, the TV shows are all kind of service level, or the movies. And I don't know they're

just shallow but in the books they dive into concepts that make you think like engineering problems that you can't that don't have simple solutions and uh it turns out i like that and philosophical issues that you know it it's it's really interesting yes philosophy i really do like it i i yeah i i get a kick out of it. I like that everybody's wearing glasses tonight for me. I genuinely need glasses. I bet you feel like a dumb bitch.

I was looking under the manscaped ad on the side and I'm like, I wonder what the other words are. Wait, why do you have glasses like that? These are blue light filtering glasses oh okay i thought you were gonna say like i just think they make me look cute but you'd be right what blue light filtering glasses what do they help me is that to help you sleep like is that the idea uh no they

just keep my uh pc screen from hurting my eyes uh you know okay i and i don't have my eye drops and they're actually my eyes are actually getting kind of burny as i like to say i'm feeling the burn and uh and so yeah i might as well strap them on since everybody else is wearing their uh their glasses tonight so what have you guys decided do we want to talk a little rick and morty which i watched episode one of season four brand new season eyes pop eyes all right let me get you the popeyes link then let me get you the Popeyes link then. Let me get you the Popeyes link. Is this the one? Didn't someone kill someone else over a chicken sandwich? Is this what that is? I mean,

it's happened before, but I don't think there's any deaths in the video that I'm about to share with you. Oh, well, I mean, not deaths in the video, but, yeah. Because that was the story. So we'll all queue up at zero. Woody will do a countdown countdown and we'll play this bad boy. You're going to want the audio.

There's no music, thank God. Okay, good. Mine's taking a second to load. Okay. Yeah, make sure it's going to be responsive. Turn it down a little bit. Yeah, make sure it's going to be responsive for you. I've got crazy heartburn. This is like my

fifth fucking Alka-Seltzer tonight. I'm ready. You guys ready? Ready! 3, 2, 1, play. So this is a fight breaks out at a Popeyes after an employee was accused of selling chicken sandwiches out the back door. A little side hustle. Poor lady just trying to do her job.

Which one's accused of... Yeah, I can't tell who the bass chickener is. I think he may be with the cap. The guy with the hat? The guy who clearly looks guilty. Yes, it is him. Yes.

I like this guy in the foreground the most. You're going to love him. You're going to love him. He's got the fry basket. He's smashing him. I will not be quoting him. I saw one where he... I'm flabbergasted.

Maybe this is a different cut because I saw one where he's like, don't worry, y'all. We got plenty of chicken. Spicy chicken, regular chicken. Chicken for all you brothers. There was so much chit-chat, not from us, but from the video. Who was fighting? Who can tell? I think I know who was fighting? Oh, who can tell? Who can tell? I'm pretty sure they're all criminals. I think I know who was fighting.

I think it was employee-on-employee violence. Because, like, because, you know, they're doing their best to crank out these chicken sandwiches. There's an incredible amount of demand for them. And then you find out that, like, Jeff is taking the sandwiches that are supposed to be for the

customers, selling them out the back door and pocketing the cash. He's slowing everybody down. He's making every customer pissed off. And you got to beat him with a hot fry basket covered in hot fryer oil. Yeah, fuck Jeff. Yes, fuck Jeff. Damn, Jeff. Jeff, you are not the cool guy of the week.

That's actually been transferred from the hot bucket of shit guy to the guy telling funny jokes at the register. The flabbergasted man. I like that guy. I'm flabbergasted. Gerard or something like that. I have a second Popeye's fight video.

This one's quick and to the point. Alright? Now, I don't know what this individual, which appears to be an old woman, if I'm going to be honest, did in the Popeyes. But I'm going to tell you this. The Popeyes employees did not take kindly to it. Was she like demanding a sandwich even when they said no? We'll never know, Taylor. We'll never know.

Okay, I got this one ready. Oh, did you link it already? Yeah, you did link it already. Okay. Oh, here it is. Okay, I got this one ready. Oh, did you link it already? Yeah, you did link it already. Okay, oh, here it is. Okay, let's get this open. All right. Ooh, this is not the one I was expecting. I'm going to guess someone gets beat up in the parking lot.

All right, I'm ready. I will get my bottom dollar. All right. Ready, set, play. So we're outside the Popeyes. Oh, she just wanted to leave. Oh, play. So we're outside the Popeyes. Oh, she just wanted to leave. Oh, shit. Oh!

God damn! She got Undertaker chokeslammed onto the hard concrete. Wow, that's asphalt. Don't exaggerate. No! Oh, yes, it's so much softer. The pillowy softness of asphalt on my spine. Golly.

Wow. I like the golly. What could she have done that got them so angry? Wait, is that an old woman? Yes, the person who has, like, Dr. Emmerdale brown hair, who got, like, just slammed on the ground. Are you seeing old woman in that? Yeah. I'm just looking. I see

white hair. That's an old white lady. I saw, in my head, dyed rocker chick. I have low confidence, though. She shattered when she hit that asphalt. Dude, that big fat guy who did that should be in prison. I love that when he shatters her on that asphalt,

he does that celebratory go! I have found information on this. Here, I'll send it to you guys. Go ahead. Please tell us. I can tell you, a man faces felony aggravated

assault. No shit! Following the circulation of video showing a woman being body slammed on the ground. Yep. Tens of thousands of views. Here we go. 5.30 p.m., which is an odd time for a body slamming. That's usually a 2 a.m. kind of thing. Yeah, it's too early for this.

The man who was arrested is named Darien's Rochelle Hughes. And the woman Oh, she was 55 years old. I was right. Oh, you can't be. Six broken ribs, a shattered left arm, and busted confidence, and

her rep is just shattered. Nobody's scared of her at the nursing home anymore. Has hired legal representation from Morgan and Morgan for the people. She said the N-word. Oh, that'll do it. Oh, no, you can't do that. That's the sort of thing that'll get your hips shattered out on the street in front of Popeye's.

Let's see. Doesn't she know you're supposed to say brother? Yeah. Well, she didn't get the memo, but you you also you can't body slam 55 year old women let's watch the other video i mean you clearly can it's just you maybe shouldn't there's another video in the asterios link that shows the conflict like the origination of it she's inside yelling at people this is probably where she drops the n-bomb. And I like her attorney. The Associated Press reports a lawyer for the woman said the woman denies using a racial slur, but my client was called an ugly, broke-down cracker.

You can't get sued for spitting facts. I mean, that's the thing. My gamer tag. She was not broken down. She wasn't broken down. She is now. Are you guys ready to watch this? Yes.

I'll watch this, bitch. Ready, set, play. Oh, I should have turned on ad block. I'm seeing a commercial for delicious Popeyes chicken, fight! Hold on, they're listening. Oh, here we go. You bought the fifth, sir! I'll dust your pants on the s***, you know!

I'm gonna go back to the L.A. team and I'm... Let me tell you something. You don't act like that. What's on that? What's on that? Wait. Ay, you say... Ay, you in the wrong place. Ay! Ay, you in the wrong place saying the N-word, though. I'm not saying the N-word.. I don't know what that means.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, you get out of my spot. Get out of my spot, please. Get out of my spot. Get out of my spot. Get out of my spot, please. Get out. Get out.

I'll be in because you all want to. Get out. I got to go. I got to hear what's going on. The lady said, I'm as black as you are, which is weird because then her lawyer is saying that she was called like a super white slur. So it's like, pick your line of defense here. You know what I mean? I wish I had the last second of it. Because my guess is that if she leaves based on what we we're seeing they all just sort of mock her and

let her leave she must have said something you saw her leave and then like everybody chased after i hear you my thought process and i'm just making this up is that she said something that got them so mad they were willing to chase her outside because they didn't look that mad right now i mean that one guy did the guy who slammed her dead, was saying, like, smack me, smack me. You know? He's also like, I could be wrong. Is he even engaged at this point where the video cuts off? I don't know.

If she had said, you know what, I don't enjoy this establishment, and walked out right there, I feel like it ends without broken bones and ribs and such. Yeah, I don't think so. so really you think she's already i mean if the the point of contention was that she was being a racist cunt like she'd already said the n-word in that clip multiple times that did she i didn't hear them that was that was the beep they were beeping out when she was like well you're a beep and you're a yeah i'm as black as you you're a beep and so like yeah regardless though you can't you can't shatter an elderly woman on the concrete outside you just can't you just can't

yeah she was covered in a book And it's not even that hard. Yeah. Like rag dolls. Taylor, you're acting like you can't when you just saw video evidence that you can. I mean, you think that guy shattered her. I bet Taylor could really lay a whore. Taylor needed a teacher in an early Missouri that taught that you may not, but you can. Slam her down.

Yeah. Yeah, you may. You should not do it. But it is well within the realm of possibility. If you ask, can i slam her down yes you can may i slam her down no you can't you know what i if anything that guy should be embarrassed because i guarantee i pick that bitch up and slam her down a lot more shit gets broken she ain't getting back up right she's not getting back up if i see if i see an old white bitch

at my local popeyes throwing around n-bom, you better believe there's going to be a more impressive broken bones list than what you saw here. You got to drive your own body weight into the bitch. I know these things because I watch UFC. I would have done the flying elbow. I would have done a double leg stomp on the throat. Solid moves. I would have turned this debacle into a murder no way her sternum could hold up to taylor's double leg stomp no way no i don't skip our bar

and that is and the whole reason i don't is so i could shut people up who are making my sandwich line longer that's right that's right because that's sandwich, all jokes aside, is fucking delicious. I wish they were a sponsor. I think while you were gone, Taylor talked a lot of shit about that sandwich. Well, Taylor don't know shit about sandwiches because that's a tasty sandwich. Fight me in real life. Let's go.

Let's go outside the Popeye's. Street rules. Street rules. Yeah, we got two white guys calling each other the n-word i think they're gonna handle the slamming in the parking lot there's another guy watching who only says brother baskets yeah yeah no i i had one and maybe i got a bad one but you know that thing where you'll get like a chicken sandwich a fried chicken sandwich and you get bites that are just breading?

Oh, that's no good. Yeah, that's what I was experiencing. Well, that's a damn shame because the one I got was quite tasty. Although Chick-fil-A takes the cake. It's that hate. You can taste that fucking sweet, delicious hate in every bite of that Chick-fil-A. Now the transgender's get all that press. There's just even more hate in the Chick-fil-A sandwich.

Fuck yeah. How do the transgender's get all that press? There's just even more hate in the Chick-fil-A sandwich. Fuck yeah. Every time I order from Chick-fil-A, I do a little boop, boop, boop, boop. Just paying homage. I think North Carolina might get double hate just off the bathroom issue.

Nah, nobody talks about that anymore. That shit's stale. We don't care. I don't care about that. You're just not local then. You know what would be good if this bat bathroom debacle caused more single person bathrooms we all win out of this we all win hey i like this i'll identify as anything for half an hour while i squeeze one out

half an hour is a lot well i'm just i'm talking about the most diabolical the most notorious of shits if you make a habit out of that you'll have butthole issues taylor i'm talking about a hot hollywood diarrhea i went through a phase i guess it was like last year the year before where i just instead of having dinner would just eat like charcuterie board meats and cheeses oh god and it was like every like like uh like it's like super set a capicola like all the italian meats and then a bunch of different kinds of cheeses didn't help me at all super set a capricola sausage and just say that all right carry on lots of cheese lots of italian meats which are very fatty and of themselves that will

create a cauldron of of naughtiness in in your belly i got some there's no fiber in in that food no it's fatty it's fatty it's a greasy greasy shit it's an angry shit there's a lot of spices in there too a lot of natural there's a lot of splashback on the initial launch and then yeah you don't you'll wipe and because it tastes so good you'll wipe and like this part of your hand like brush like the outside of your ass cheek what you know is a clean area and you'll come out you're just like oh oh god i thought that was a safe zone have you ever like had an especially messy shit and you go to like you wipe your ass you know and everything and the toilet paper's coming back clean you're good and then you're like i'll do

a pass by on the outer ass and you see a tremendous amount of shit water and you're just like oh you turn the whole toilet paper the whole toilet paper looks like it's been soaked in lemonade it's like what there was that much poo water out on the perimeter it's a big day have you ever taken a shit so hard and i've done this before that you were ejected forward off the toilet no that you you take the shit and then like you stand up after the shit's done and there's like a drop of shit water on the back of the seat oh yeah yeah from where you fired that fucker in so fast and so hard that it caused a and it's like a shotgun yeah it's like a shotgun that you fired down an alleyway and it's just ricocheting everywhere just pellets are bouncing off the walls off the floor off a fucking dumpster

i was preparing for a party at my old apartment when i lived in the city and i was having a bunch of people over and i'd taken some hard charcuterie board meat shits and cheese shits and i was like i cleaned off the top of the toilet seat i'm like well guys are gonna be in here too obviously like lifting it up to pee and i lift it up and the bottom of my my toilet seat looks like a fucking jackson pollock painting of just of just shit and it's like oh thank god i did this let me get the clorox wipes and clean it off i so my son will like power rip farts when he's playing the computer next to me and he knows i don't like it which just makes it that much funnier to him. That's so awesome. Like one time he did it and it's just ripping it right.

Obviously like not a mistake. He's just turning a two into a 10 and he goes, Oh, that one kind of hurt. Serves you right for trying to punish me with your gas. So what'd you get bitch? You can't be forcing those out. So yeah.

Has anybody had a truly horrific shit recently? I've been having good fortune eating lots of fiber with my shits. I don't have any good ones recently. So I discovered this new spice that I've been putting in my food. It's called Slap Yo Mama Hot Sauce. I bought some of that! I've got that in my

kitchen right now. Yeah, it's great. It's good stuff. And there's different versions of it. And I got the hot. And you get some hot Cajun slap your mama. And I've been putting in everything. I fried a turkey the other night. And I used the injecting syringe.

And I basically melted butter. And I took butter and slap your mama and mixed them together and created this death sauce. And I took butter and slap yo mama and mixed them together and created this death sauce. And I ejected the turkey with it until it was just every square inch of that turkey was full of it. And then I rubbed it on the skin on the outside. And I marinated it before all of that in it. Not marinate, but brine it. I brined it in slap yo mama.

I injected it with slap yo mama. And then I rubbed it in slap yo mama mama and then i fried that son of a bitch and i had the most painful shit ever it was like i was shitting fire it was it was terrible it was terrible was it solid like give us a consistent oh no like it was like soft serve ice cream but it felt like it was a thousand degrees yeah my like wiped a shit and it feels like you're trying to like wipe melted wax off of your asshole yeah of course like you're spreading up spreading a brown market down there yeah i uh my uh girlfriend and i have gotten into something that she brought back from Indonesia, which is, yes, exactly.

Uh, which is, uh, shitting like an Eagle on the toilet. What you do is you lift up the toilet lid and you kind of support yourself like on the sink and you put your feet on the rim of the toilet and you squat down and more shit comes out of you than you knew was in your body you know how like doctor who's tardis is bigger on the inside than the outside it's like one and a half times you

will shit out into the toilet it's the ultimate squatty potty i suggest you all try shitting like an eagle do you balance like you're just and you're working core muscles it sounds like yes it's a it's a nice deep squat and you have to like i brace one arm on the wall and the other arm on the sink because the sink's right next to the toilet if you do that it will be a long uninterrupted opus it sounds pretty great i'm gonna try that help me with the beginning are you using a squatty potty? Did I miss that? It's the ultimate squat.

You make the earth come to you. Forget about raising your legs. Lower your butt is what you got to do. It's the ultimate squatty potty. Is there a potty at all? Are you standing on the toilet seat? Yes. No, standing on the toilet rim.

You have to lift the toilet seat because if you stand on that plastic toilet seat, that thing's going to break. Quite the balancing act. I found out the hard way. Like, you're going to have to stand on the rim. So you stand on the porcelain, barefoot, I assume. Yes. And then you squat down. No.

Yes. I've got my shitting boots. I wear the five-toed running shoes to grab on yeah of course i need traction all right i know i'll never do it but a funny thought i have all the time is like going into a neighbor's yard that has dogs at like 2 a.m and taking a big people shit shit and then the next day they have to be like how do you did he get to into chipotle somehow god damn there's no pepper pieces in here who gave him corn they have to take their dog to the vet was like we know that that tojo is only nine, but he took a six pound shit. You think there may be a small black hole inside of your dog.

Yeah. I have another video. All right. And I think Taylor is especially going to enjoy this one. I thought Woody might enjoy it because of his love of aeronautics. I think I've seen it. I think you have too. I figured you might,

but I'm cute at zero on this. I'm ready. Basically, this guy is flying his plane, and his engine goes out, and he's recording a message for his family. Are we ready? In case things go poorly. Yeah. Ready? Three, two, one, play.

The propeller's not moving. A first real emergency. I shouldn't be filming this, but if anything happens, I want everybody to know. I do want to say to my wife and kids, Jeffrey Epstein Oh, this is getting a retweet. I just want everybody to know my wife and kids

Jeffrey Epstein did not kill himself. Dude, that's really funny i like the jeffrey etz being epstein story this is why there's a range of conspiracies right on on one side you've got like flat earthers who believe that hundreds of thousands of people who work for every space agency across the world are all involved in a grand conspiracy to make you think the earth is round when it's truly why are all the other planets round yeah well you know this is the only one that looks flat taylor just open your eyes okay so you got one side of people who believe

like that level of conspiracy if you don't believe the epstein one then what's wrong with you like you don't believe anything in that case he He had broken bones. He had nothing to hang himself from. At this point, I feel like you're the sucker if you're not suspicious of this whole Epstein situation. Yeah, absolutely. It's like, oh, you think this guy that was under suicide watch and had dirt on every powerful person on Earth, all these billionaires, you think that they would kill him? You want to know what they said in prison? Yeah, of course. What? you think that they would kill him and it's you want to know what they said in prison yeah of course what uh i so so we i was in uh for okay yeah for for asterios um i was in federal prison

for a couple oh i know i happen to be uh doing time uh i was down as they say during this epstein uh suicide and uh and so i was watching it with the other prisoners and you know as it was announced on like cnn and fox news and all that jazz and uh the black guy next to me looks at by the way we don't say the n-word here we say brother instead and the guy next to me he says they killed that brother yeah they killed that brother he was like i've been locked down like that they had me on the suicide watch you can't do shit i tried to piss in the corner and they couldn't see me good they come down there in like 30 seconds you can't kill yourself in there they won't let you won't let you i'd have killed myself if i could that's why they's watching i saw some funny meme where it was like epstein brand toilet paper it never tears you know like he like he hung himself with his toilet paper oh god oh wait is that is that

what they tell us that he hung himself no no they say he did with his clothes but uh all clothes in suicide prevention cells have, if it's more than five pounds of pressure or so, it tears. Yeah, it's made of that same stuff that wrestlers wear before they come out in the WWE. And they're just... Macho man's been talking a lot of trash. If you believe Epstein killed himself, you're a fool. All the little holsters know that Epstein was taken out

by the Clintons. No, it goes so much bigger than the Clintons and the Trumps. I feel like that's the thing where they try and divide people where it's like, oh, it's the Clintons that did it. Oh, it's the Trumps that did it. It's like, no, bitch, that goes way bigger than that. Did you see that meme with Hillary Clinton?

She's calling the suicide prevention, the suicide hotline. She's like, I'd like to place an order. That's a good one. My Facebook feed is exclusively Clinton links, right? Yeah. Did you see her laughing about it on the fucking, with that show, on the Daily Show with Trevor Noah?

Yeah. I heard about it. Trevor Noah asked her about it. He's like, so how did you kill Epstein? And she's like, ha, ha, ha, ha. That cackly evil laugh she knew that motherfucker wait wait just real quick what would you have preferred she had done stared intently into trevor noah's eyes like not moving her head like a scarecrow making the whole thing awkward she should have moved on well if she didn't kill the motherfucker and it's somebody she knew, she should went.

You know, that that really saddened all of us, the whole thing, a real terrible situation, you know, to find out, first of all, that he was involved with all the terrible things that he was involved with. And then second of all, to find out that he was. And the worst part about it is I can't go to any more of his really fun parties on his island. I love that plane. You know how hard it is to get an eight-year-old to eat your old snatch? Jeffrey does. A little peanut butter. No, we're all going to miss Jeffrey a lot. We're all going to miss Jeffrey a lot.

Some for different reasons. Everyone points to the Clinton. Maybe it's my blue lens that I look at this shit from, but Trump is like, he likes the ladies as much as me, him on the younger side. That is not on my Facebook at all. Zero in. It's all about Hillary getting her killed. Well, we've got the number of times that Clinton was on that plane.

It was something like 28 confirmed times that I was flying with Mr. Epstein. I'm actually trying to... The best part about that plane You can find any number you want on that source. If you... I've seen as high as 26.

And I've seen as low as 4. And they're counting every leg as a separate flight. That's right. Well, hell, I count the legs, the titties, the ass.

How many people actually went to the... I know Trump was on the plane a couple times but he never went to the island i know bill went to the island what's your source on that it's it's like a normal truck that uh because they'll talk about it's a known thing like because i can't find him actually going to the island i've seen him doing fundraisers and shit oh no he he went to the island yeah they called the island mr clinton how did you know that like i i just just don't, I've never seen it.

I looked at it too. I saw something a while back. You saw something a while back? I don't know what the source is now. I just know that that was like a big, like Trump supporter thing where they were like, Trump never went to the island. He just got on the plane. And I was like, do you think people weren't, kids weren't getting molested on the plane you know in between peanut deliveries and bloody marys like yeah it's it's like yes

he didn't he never went to the island he only went on a plane called the lolita express you know lolita by nabokov let me tell you the plot of lolita real quick like that's not great either you know i watched lolita the other day and that girl was asking for it dude calling it little saint james island come on man come on rubbing it in our faces that you're doing fucked up shit i like it when they rub it in my face oh i love it when they rub it in my face there's there's nothing i like more than the definitely of age children uh people people I knew on that plane. The fact that most of them also ended up dead is a damn shame.

Yeah. Yeah, well, suffice it to say, I think a huge percentage of elite people around the world are doing fucked up shit to kids. And I don't know. Oh, Bill Clinton's picture with jeffrey epstein's wow here's there's a picture of bill clinton with the lady who got the girls at chelsea's oh gizlaine maxwell yeah her father's like a massad agent she's like a high level like person yeah and they were like fucking with with kids oh look at like even in the screen, you don't have to dig deep. If you've got ad block or whatever, you can just look in the thumbnail

and you can see they've got a red circle around the lady who procured the young girls for Epstein right over Chelsea Clinton's shoulder as she walks down the aisle with Bill Clinton. That's the Epstein child procurer. It's funny to imagine them on the plane and they bring out like a young boy and Bill's like, Whoa,

I'm not gay. You got any 11 year old girls back there? You know, I don't have, I'm not a degenerate. Good Lord. I'm not a, you know,

regardless of what they say, I'm not a weirdo you know so regardless you got these little girls this just goes back what i'm always saying like like child sex has to be the caviar of sex or these old are all these rich and powerful people wouldn't be so into it or they're into it because it's the forbidden fruit it's a forbidden fruit that they can go fuck with you know so it's like i'm i could start wars i can ruin economies i could do whatever i want i can also do this shit to kids you know it's almost like a forbidden fruit i'm so powerful i do what i want i've talked about that before like once you have enough money right far more than me once you have enough money buying things isn't even cool anymore

like you have all the things you want you can have anything a hundred thousand dollar car is like why do you even still want that a million dollar car it's the shit that money can't buy like eight year old pussy that's where the like exclusivity comes in like i pronounced that wrong but anyway i i can almost lump it into other things that money can't buy access that uh that makes it maybe that's what you get into that's where this i don't know i don't know so much so much of it is like so much of what like being rich is is like chasing respect like that's the thing you can't buy either i uh i i work i used to work in beverly hills and i would work here let's take a pause for a second here so you think they're fucking children is a way to get respect indeed i do honestly it was

the it was the only cool thing i ever saw bill do. What would you say? You worked at Beverly Hills. I want to hear what that is. Like, I think with the respect thing, like, sometimes I think about Donald Trump. It's like he's like the richest dude in the world. No, he's not. But he's like a super rich dude. He's married to a supermodel. He's the president of the most powerful nation on earth.

And he's like super miserable and tweeting about how upset he is all the time. Because it's like the thing he really wants is to be liked by everybody. And like when he watches TV and the TV don't like him, like you get upset. But with the Beverly Hills thing, like I used to work near all these offices and it was just their job to invent new things for rich people who had run out of things to buy to buy i worked next to a place where they were like they sold bottled water that was filtered through diamonds that a little kid bathed in yeah and like came with diamonds in it and it was like a hundred a bottle, and it's like, well, why would you buy this? Because you're out of stuff.

Like, the thing about consumerism is like you're always chasing that high of like that new thing I'm going to buy, and it's like, what happens when you run out of new shit to buy? Like, you go crazy and get on the Lolita Express. And fuck children, apparently. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I just can't wait for the new marvel movie i guess i'm gonna have to hop on the lolita express again i was so excited to see how the avengers would end but i just couldn't wait that extra year and

so i called up jeffrey we had one final flight and i I tell you what, I went younger than I'd ever gone before. Hillary was giving me shit for it. And I'm like, shut up, bitch. You're a loser. You're a fucking loser. I won that shit. I did it for eight years. You can't even.

Was that twice you lost? Obama pushed your shit in and then Trump did, too. I was secretly laughing in my bathroom that night because, oh, she is the worst just the fucking worst god no one could have lost better or worse than her god she i love knowing that they hate each other behind closed doors they absolutely hate each other behind closed doors like i i imagine they had sex like twice to make chelsea you've seen the conspiracy theories which were like bill isn't even the father of chelsea um you know what you know one of the bill facial look i i think she's say what you want about trump you know i i do think most of the 3d chess stuff is is over exaggerated and such but um

I do think most of the 3D chess stuff is over exaggerated and such, but when he had the Clinton accusers show up at the debate, that was a ridiculous kind of like Jerry Springer move. That was nuts. That was funny. Because like there's Bill and there's the woman who says Bill raped her. And they're sitting there like, yeah, he did it. Yeah, he did. And that was outrageous.

That was outrageous. That was the best debate ever. I didn't care what they were saying about Medicare. I wanted them to get into the dirt. I wanted to hear about those women calling Bill a rapist. Yeah, that would have been much more entertaining. Yeah. Let me go to the bathroom, and then maybe we'll talk about some of that TV stuff.

Oh, that's great. i've been drinking so much coffee taking lots of coffee yeah but yeah that that epstein stuff very interesting who linked this oh i don't literally said i don't think this one's okay to watch yeah i didn't watch it because it said it said please don't watch this for the love of god fucking kyle lincoln i know this for the love of God. Why did fucking Kyle link it? Why would you? I know. This is the forbidden fruit he keeps talking about. The title of it, for people that want to know, is Stripper Shits in Your Face. And it looks like there's a lady in what I'll describe as doggy style with a bikini top on and no body.

Aimed at another lady who's fully dressed. And I can imagine where it goes from there. She's... She needs more fiber. She's like twerking with her legs up on this other girl and then there's just a fucking

shotgun style poof of shit all over her. You think it was an accident? Oh, definitely. Some people are into a little scat play. Don't be judgy. of shit all over her. You think it was an accident? Oh, definitely. Okay. Well, I don't know. I mean, some people are into a little scat play. Don't be judgy.

The woman being shat on did not react in the way that someone enthused by that. It wasn't Christmas morning. Yeah. Imagine if you're all like cocked and loaded trying to twerk like that. I can see how it would go wrong. Yeah. no one would have judged her for going to the restroom she's been judged yeah she has oh guess what bitch you've been judged kyle i want to hear your thoughts on is it called the king the king henry the king all right so the king is so i i enjoy history like like like i really do. It was

my favorite subject and in school. And, and I continue to watch, you know, tons of documentaries as a, as an adult and that sort of thing. But, and I knew all about how France and England throughout the ages have had this war. They're just separated by the English channel there, you know, and, and throughout the ages, they had many wars with one another. And I always assumed, or I always believed that it was just kind of the stalemate, you know, they, that body of water separates them and nobody was ever able to really make anything happen. I was wrong. If you watch the movie, the King, which I don't recommend you do, cause I didn't really love it. um it tells the story of henry v henry v conquered france he made the french king surrender to him and offer up his daughter as recompense he said look we give up i know that's

why you're here just just so you know he's like and and henry's like uh are there any terms to your surrender um no um only i wish that you take my daughter and i thought like oh let's see this sow let's see what she looks like that you blow out her back walls tonight and the fucking camera pans and his daughter is like beautiful like classically beautiful with these like just heart-shaped face like gorgeous lady i only asked that you marry my daughter and he's like deal and and he's like and uh your children will be king of france and king of england and he's like cool okay he literally conquers france he and he really did historically and his children were to be the rulers of both nations simultaneously now spoiler alert uh after the events that take place in the movie the king henry died and his son was so young that he was unable to be a

effective, an effective King or effective ruler. So that, that whole thing fell apart. However, in the, the movie was two hours and 20 minutes long. Was it?

Yeah. And there was one battle and that battle was good, but it probably lasted 20 minutes. And so that meant that there were about 20 minutes of plotting and talking and hanging around at the court. And, uh, yeah,

I'm watching that. I liked it more than Kyle, which is interesting. Cause I feel like usually I'm the one who fusses about the slow plot lines. So, but not this time. I liked it more. One thing I didn't like afterwards,

I looked up the history because like it got me engaged. Some of the shit they got wrong. didn't have to be that way so in the movie a critical plot line is that king henry was kind of a playboy not wanting to be king goof off and then overnight his father gets very sick dies and he finds him finds himself thrust into this position of king that he never wanted. Here's the truth. He always wanted to be king. He was plotting and sort of being king even when he was still a prince.

The reason that his father chose his younger brother to be the next king was that older brother was constantly usurping him and butting heads with the actual king in the movie they play it like you know i never wanted this i just want to fuck whores no this guy wanted to be king since long before it was his chance to be king and he was a badass too you got to keep in mind this was the 1400s i believe a time when it was very easy to fucking die and this guy had lived to be 26 years old not as a potter but as a warrior prince all right it's not bad enough that there was plenty of people wanting to assassinate him but like he fought in dozens of battles he had been fighting with the french his whole life he had been commanding thousands of men before he hit puberty at 14 he was some

sort of battlefield general and he wasn't just he wasn't like the generals in like that we see in like a lot of movies like out on the edge of the battlefield he was going into the battle as a teenager and fighting it out and there's a pretty good scene of him fighting in the movie you know they have this really interesting tactic where they're outnumbered by the french but the french are wearing their armor yeah they're outnumbered by the French, but the French are wearing all their armor. Yeah, they're in France. And the French are all wearing full, heavy-duty, heavy armor. And their strategy is, we won't wear armor. That way we'll be fast, agile,

and we won't be bogged down in the mud that's out there on the field tomorrow. And I was thinking, what kind of weapon is henry gonna take you know because we i'd seen them use um daggers and that was a really i'm i watched this youtube channel that's about medieval combat and uh and i i knew that they use these very skinny daggers to sneak underneath armor around the throat and under the armpits oftentimes to dispatch a heavy heavily armored knight henry wades into battle with like a war hammer type thing like that's what it was not i thought it was a sword no it's a hammer okay it's definitely and it's it's like a spike on one end and it's like the the square hammerhead on the

other and he's denting in the heads the helmets of these heavily plated knights and it's fucking badass because he's just running in he's got like a little armor on his chest and a little bit of mail on his shoulders you know the the chain mail but he's just on me and he goes into battle just denting fucking heads with this thing i couldn't find on like wikipedia how accurate the battle scene was definitely the the broad strokes which was they expected they predicted rain and they chose light armor versus heavy armor so they did better in the mud that much is true the weapon he carried that he like literally ran at the front of the army as they

engaged in battle like i wonder if that's true i couldn't find that part. What I did learn about the real battles were that when Henry went to war, so the French would bring one crossbowman for each swordsman, essentially. And the British would bring three longbowmen for each swordsman. And the longbow was the machine gun of that era. It could fire much farther than a crossbow can. It carries a lot more uh mass in its arrow uh it's a bigger arrow instead of a bolt which a crossbow fires the advantage of the crossbow obviously is you can just point and click and shoot but the and it doesn't require as much training lower skill i was gonna say a longbowman it was a very skilled

uh piece of man man power that skilled the way they used it it's a hundred pound draw and those guys were a lot smaller than us um okay so people don't know the way they used it is they arced an arrow into the crowd of bad guys yep yeah i mean i feel like maybe i couldn't pull a hundred pound i don't know. But the skill part of it, if I could pull it, it was like, well, I think I could hit that group of 5,000 people. Yeah. I think it was more about the rate of fire, being able to knock and fire quickly. In the show, they fired twice. Yeah.

They would have been firing continuously. It wouldn't be like that in a real fight. Yeah. They would have been firing continuously. It wouldn't be like that in a real fight. Because that was the other huge advantage they had. It takes a while for a crossbow at the time. Where they fire one bolt. And then you have to put it down. Put your foot in the little metal loop at the bottom. To keep it down.

And then either pull it up or attach a crank. The bad guys will be in longbow range. But you will not be in crossbow range. That's a huge thing. It was pretty cool. I enjoyed the show. I thought the acting was good. These guys must have been British

because I can't put my finger on it. The guy who plays Henry is a very good actor. The guy who plays Henry is so British. Like when he was on top of the world, when he was on bottom, when he was being kind of conciliatory, when he was being commanding, all of it seemed to be very British about it.

And I was like, God damn, he's British. He must be British. He's gotta be British. I can't describe what British is, but if you watch it, you'll agree with me.

That's fucking British. Yeah. I liked him. I enjoyed his performance. Um, uh, you know, and by the way,

pulling a hundred pound draw is hard it's a thing i've been lifting for almost a year kyle a little credit i hear you it's it's just like a specific like exercise you know it's it's like add add drawing a bow to a to bench press curls and squat because it's its whole it's it's this whole other thing um i my my bow was 65 pounds and it's a modern bow so it's it's definitely getting more power than their old 100 pound draws were back in the day and also my bow is a modern bow a compound bow so it's got these gear the at the top the the pulleys turn and lock so you're holding back 10 of the draw weight when you've got it drawn but it's i've drawn heavier bows and it's a it's a chore and like if you were doing it over and the

thing about a long bow is there's no let off you know it's just continuous it's hardest at the back it's hardest but people kyle described it but with a crossbow it's really hard to pull kind of in the middle in the front and then when you get back and you're holding it to aim it's no longer hard well it locks yeah it's locked in place and you're basically holding a rifle yeah yeah um so yeah i you thought i watched it and i was out of 10 score it five okay i would have said six and a half seven like it's not great but yeah i just felt like it would have been better if we'd had like two more battles and like 50 less plotting and and stuff i didn't i felt like they really hammered home his like the very beginning of the movie where he's just literally just fucking whores and drinking with his buddies and like i could

use less of that and it wasn't true that especially since it's not true why'd you work so hard on like a movie magic part of it like especially since he's going to completely abandon that side of himself and and and as soon as his father dies and really like buck up and and you know assume the position of power you know i thought it was cool when he challenges the the other field commander he's like hey no need for armies to fight today you and me you and me we'll fight for the for the field of battle today in the movie when he did that like it wasn't clear that he was gonna win and the fight was was very close i have to imagine in real life it was like me and a seven-year-old with down syndrome like hey you know why don't we just fight instead of the whole armies couldn't we save

their lives you're a coward if you don't take this like because i loved when he fought the french guy though yes that was the best part of the whole movie if you ask me is is like you know when when he first begins to battle with the french he goes to the french commander who's a real douchebag that's hammered home right away he is a i use a piece of shit and uh like he's already killed a couple kids like like he's a he's a bastard man um he's like for no reason he's just like, I think you have big balls to come here, but a small cock. And Henry's just like, good day to you. And just walks away. Well, it gets to the battle and Henry challenges him.

You surrender now. I give you a nice ride on my carriage called the Lolita Express. Henry's like, yeah, I'm not here to surrender just so you know french commander i'm i'm here to challenge you mano a mano for for the for the day you know no need for all these christian souls to die and he's like you will surrender to me you win and he's like no i won't he asked him if he was scared yeah which was a weird reply like hey how about instead of letting our armies go at it you and i put ourselves at risk oh are you scared well no that's not what a scared person would do at all this is this is the approach of someone who is afraid of an army on army battle

in order to combat you would not suggest this as a general i would say fuck you so then when the battle starts going the english way the french commander says ah now we will do battle and i won't spoil it for anybody who actually wants to watch just watch the youtube clip if you really want to get i promise you it's worth watching though it's it's comedic watch google like youtube search the king french commander versus henry something like that you'll find it's a it's a 30 second battle or something like that between the king of england now we don't the french prince and you'll get to see like it it's it's quite good it's it you you're happy to see what happens but but but i won't spoil it too i don't think we should you know it's okay most of it's historical

but this part is like a bit of hollywood and it's good it's good to see oh i actually yeah maybe yeah that didn't happen in real life that didn't happen but nah nah okay back then i don't think anybody of power really got like oh the other thing but i feel like it didn't it's as far as historical it turned out king had a i'm sorry france had a bunch of kings so when you said he conquered france he actually conquered a part of france ah yeah okay that's right i watched that whole thing and they were like boring factions in france which all which made it all the more easy for for henry to sweep in but in any case i wasn't a big fan of the movie felt it was a bit slow and only the one big battle so i didn't love it i bought disney plus 80 bucks a year click that i clicked that button

made it happen um so far on there that's worthwhile it has everything fucking disney homes it's got like all the marvel shit um it's got like all of that old disney stuff like hannah montana and like anything like that that you might care to watch it also has everything that's national geographic so um oh cool the the one thing that i've been watching there's lots of animal shit but the one thing i've been watching a bit of is um um what's his name who's the fucking british chef who shits on everybody um ramsay gordon ramsay has a show where he travels and like like i watched one where he goes to new zealand and he learns my and he learns Maori cooking customs and he hangs out in the jungle and he catches eels

in a river and he cooks in the ground. It's like an adventure show. It's sort of like that Bourdain show, but it's Gordon Ramsay traveling about the world. It's better, honestly. I never liked Bourdain. As a guy who bought the subscription, what's included? Because I already

pay, maybe it's 5.99 a month for espn plus is that lumped in or is that like package i'm gonna have to look into that okay but but you can't currently i'm paying for hulu espn plus and disney uh all separate 12.99 a month all three of those i'm gonna switch to that yeah i i need to find a way to bundle them if it's not too late but if it is then i've just wasted a hundred dollars or something like that yeah because as a guy who pays 590 if people don't know to buy a ufc pay-per-view you have to pay like six dollars a month to be allowed to buy a 60 pay-per-view and it's crazy right i didn't know that you have to be a stupid mma fan to to pay

for this and that's where i am so uh but if i'm already paying 5.99 and you're telling me at 7.99 i get all the other content disney makes it might make sense yeah and the main thing of course at least right now the big thing they have is the mandalorian oh they also have every star wars movie ever made but in marvel shit i don't and marvel but most of the marvel content like the best marvel content was there it seemed i didn't really like scan too deep because i've seen it all but the mandalorian is what i was after you know i heard the mandalorian was out and i and the disney plus was out and I fucking clickety clack that button. And I started,

it was like, Holy shit. There it is. Episode one. I look fucking look at the popcorn radio. Let's go get some slap your mama on this path popcorn. I want it spicy. And I started watching that shit and man,

I don't like star Wars. I don't, I feel like it's a silly, I feel like George Lucas is a fucking commie and he's made a shit show of like what could have been a great thing it's like such a capitalist but anyway no dirty ass commie okay i i hate like 90 of what's in those movies but i really like the mandalorian i really like it it feels like i watched it why'd you like it so it so much? It feels a bit like he's a bounty hunter. And I get kind of some Western vibes to it.

He feels a bit like a Clint Eastwood character. And he's a good bounty hunter. People know he's a member of a guild. Okay. So I thought he was a member of a guild that he was like a union bounty hunter. And he was better than others. I thought. He's definitely better. He's the best bounty hunter and he was better than others i thought he's definitely better he's the best

bounty hunter there is and but i wouldn't say that he's a good guy oh that's why he cut him he cut a man in half no no when i said he was a good bounty hunter i mean he was a holly highly qualified oh okay but he's not a good guy necessarily he's he his his his motives are ambiguous it would seem now we do see him do some things that he's definitely not evil okay no but but i do think he's more of an anti-hero than some sort of purist fucking pinky in the air superman type douchebag he caught a man in half right there at the beginning you know right that man was kind of bad i mean that man was literally fleeing for his life the man the man tries to escape but prior to that he was kind of a dick no come back i want to cut this right he has spider webs for some reason and uh

no no actually cable but he shoots it like this the mandalorian walks into a bar and three dudes jump him for like literally no reason like just to be dicks the and and he beats two of them to death and the third one tries to literally run away like he's out the door of the bar and the mandalorian shoots a grappling hook at his ankles hooks him and drags him back and then the guy tries to turn around and shoot at the mandalorian so the mandalorian takes his gun and shoots like the door controls which makes the door do this like butthole sphincter kind of thing so it shrinks down to like a nothing and it cuts the man in half which is pretty cool okay imagine a more dangerous kind of door i was like has osha seen this that is a low iq style of designer is just like and

then it comes it closes up sphincter-esque we're coming up with a different term like that and they're like but can't you see any sort of problems with that? I could just see some mom straddling it, looking to hold it open for her children. The name of aesthetics. And then it cuts her for a long ways. Yeah, yeah. So he's totally bad. One thing that got me about it, so I enjoyed The Mandalorian, but the acting in it is non-existent.

So here's the thing you got to know. He wears the, you guys know what Boba Fett looks like, right? With the mask all the time. So he wears that 100% of the time. You never see his face ever, ever. They could be different actors for all you know. Also, because he's got that thing over his face, everything is voiceover, right? Everything that happens in it is him like, you know, he's just sitting there in front of a microphone and with a coffee in the other hand doing all his lines the whole show is voiceover and mask wearing all of it and it kind

of it just feels weird to me knowing how you make that i think the mandalorian is played by pedro pascal or whatever i think he's the red the red viper of thorn. Okay. From Game of Thrones. I'm pretty sure it's that guy who plays him. I don't think it's Boba Fett. I think it's Jango Fett. I think it's like his clone son. That doesn't matter. Wait. See, I was going to ask, like, why isn't this just a Boba Fett show?

Okay, so this is the kid from episode two? I think it is. Now, I could be wrong, because this takes place five years after the Empire is defeated. Okay, so five years after Return of the Jedi. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay, so that's not the person I thought it was at the very, very end.

In the crib. No, 100% no. Okay. Oh, did you think that was anakin i don't know i haven't seen this show like the first thing that has made me want to see the show is hearing that one of those doors cuts a dude in half okay oh that's pretty hardcore okay maybe i will watch this at the very end of the show they introduce an infant character who who i thought i knew no okay well if you definitely don't i mean if it's after this is five years after the death star was that the death star vader was killed five years after the death star the fight the second death star was destroyed i like that so yeah me too but is it before all the ray jj movies yes it's before all that it's way before ray and the the newest trilogy that that's still in the making um it's way before that because like

if you if you notice there's a scene where you see like three stormtroopers their armor is very dirty and uh that man with that very cool german accent who gives him the bounty um he's wearing this imperial uh symbol which sort of signifies i thought that like he was some sort of commander type character general something like that that these these three or four imperial uh stormtroopers are like the last of his men the remnants of his command who are still with him. And it seems to me that like the bounty that he's wanting to secure that individual, um, has something to do with the empire,

uh, or not really the empire anymore. It's called like the first order. I believe that's what like the evil guys that are in the new, um, trilogy. So this is not a spoiler, but the character Kyle's talking about tries to pay him in Empire credits. He declines it, saying

that that's not even real money anymore. So that just tells you a little something about the universe that it's taking place in. The Empire has no power, no currency. Not much power in its currency. Yeah, he offered him that fish people currency instead. And it was squishy. Admiral A currency instead uh it was squishy admiral akbar so yeah dude i like the mandalorian i look forward to seeing more of it i hope they don't go low budget i hope that they didn't just like hit a home run for episode one they got a budget they're not fucking around. In theory. Yeah. If they use it, they do.

I just hope that episodes two through nine don't suck. And then 10 wants you to see next season. I have faith in him. I am enjoying, I think I'm going to enjoy the show. I definitely enjoyed episode one. I want to know more. They left on such a cool cliffhanger.

Uh, I, I'm 99% sure episode two comes out Friday, uh, November the 15th, which is tomorrow oh um yeah i got a little lucky and how i waited for it uh i watched it today yeah and uh and they're doing two episodes in the first week essentially and i don't know what the like the rollout is going to be to come like like like you know they can do whatever they want they got it all in the can obviously they could just they could just roll them out however they like they could let you

binge watch that's they do like a a light binge kind of like yeah i like well they don't want you to binge watch it because then you won't stay subscribed for three months yeah right maybe because a lot of people are on that free trial uh subscription oh they need to stretch it past the one month point exactly that's my guess but but i'm gonna keep it anyway like like i it's all the pixar shits there too you know disney owns every fucking thing the combining works like i think it does i want it too like it if it's literally an additional two dollars because i'm gonna buy espn plus then i should get it. Yeah. Do the research for me. Or maybe our fans will. I'd love to know what the smart way

to bundle Hulu, ESPN Plus, and Disney Plus are. Because I have all three currently. Yeah. Separate. Netflix costs more than I thought. In my heart, Netflix costs $ 9.99 or something like that right 15 is it i think so like i pay for 4k and i think that also comes with like four streams because uh sometimes we need three like basically i don't know there's four people in this house and

sometimes we need three yeah i hear you yeah i i share my uh netflix with kitty um so know there's four people in this house and sometimes we need three yeah i hear you yeah i i share my uh netflix with kitty um so like there's just two devices is all that's ever gonna be so i think if it's an option anyway i know i have the 4k like whatever that is but probably if there's a two device plan i definitely did that but i think i'm for 1399 or 1499 or something like that but shit i i love netflix like like i'm there's always something on there that i want and they're always coming out with new content and they're just borrowing themselves into the nether the nether region so like keep keep doing it keep keep making content they keep borrowing money

and making new projects making new content yeah oh okay my head was yeah it's throwing kind of like uber in that they're like they take on a lot of debt and it's like i think all their profits are like phantom profits yeah like or like twitter even like yeah it's like you're massive what's your profit margin well we haven't made anything yet but man are we popular uh i yeah i'm i i hated it when disney came up with it i was like not another streaming well disney just why doesn't disney just put all this stuff on netflix i would like that kind of like you wish everything was on steam i'm assigning that to you but i feel like everyone does right it's either on steam or someplace you wish it wasn't period uh but now it's like gosh

maybe disney's the one i don't know yeah tell you what i'm not buying i'm not gonna get any sort of apple streaming service i'm not gonna get any sort of network streaming and no abc nbc cbs fox anything like that that's on its own they're all out there on their own i suspect disney owns some of those disney probably or or at least they will eventually bet on dis and eventually, eventually you'll pay one price and you'll have everything. I think they own ABC, right? Yeah.

Disney owns ABC. And interestingly, Disney, like Hulu was a Disney Fox venture originally. So like Disney also owns a piece of hulu um i buy cbs all access when they're airing star trek shows like the new picard show is going to come out and so i'm going to resubscribe again for that i don't give a fuck about discovery i refuse to watch it but yeah man i'm into the picard show i saw the t7 of nine that's that interests me discovery is the female captain right michael dorn should have gotten his own fucking tv show i wanted captain warf did you ever read about the yes man when they were teasing captain warf i was like that's the fucking show first of all warf never ages because you got so

much shit on that man's face as long as he can do the voice he's young warf you can have him bat left tournament winning fucking calus you know know, regenerating Worf forever. If he moves wrong, he could put a different Worf in the makeup. You can put anybody in that Worf suit and just get Michael Dorn do the voiceover. He could be doing backflips and karate moves. A guy hits 60-something, they move a funny way, right? And they'd be like, Worf, you're 97. How do you move so well?

And he's like, I have a Klingon. Oh, cool., you're 97. How do you move so well? And he's like, I am a Klingon. Oh, cool. It works. Meanwhile, you got poor Patrick Stewart over there. He's like, I'm still a coptron. Are you, though? Is he not an animal? Well, he was.

And then he, like, something about the, like, you know this from the trailer, but, like, something about how Romulus was destroyed in the JJ's movie like made him leave the service the thing that I'm really interested in about the Picard show is that it looks like they are really playing with his age and frailty like one of the opening scenes in the trailer is just like a shot of his like gnarled withered veiny hand. And it's just like, this guy's old. Cause the thing is like with captain Kirk,

they tried to make this guy seem like young and virile forever. Like in fucking generations, he's, they introduce him like chopping trees. Like he's like a younger jacket. He's like, I'm a 70 year old fuckable son of a bitch. I love that scene.

It opens with him chopping fucking and Picard walks up. Admiral Kirk. I don't feel like 105. He's chopping that fucking wood. What's with the scrooge? What's with the scrooge Picard? Admiral Kirk, it's me, Captain Jordan Picard. I'm going to Kirk. It's me, Captain John and Picard. I'm giving him all he's got, and I'm going to Kirk.

I can't do a very good Picard. It always comes out of it Scottish. And then after a while, it just turns into Sean Connery. Captain Connery. Yeah, I can't do the Picard.

I can do a decent McCoy. Ooh, let's hear it. Oh, wait, no, no. I'm getting them wrong. Who's Scotty? Oh, Scotty. Yeah, Scotty. I'm giving her all she's got.

See, now that's a good Star Trek impression. I love Star Trek. Star Trek's my shit. I've seen every episode of every TV show, every movie, multiple, multiple times. But, you know, I refuse to watch Discovery because of its nonsense. But I will watch all of Picard one way or another, whatever I have to do. I might just purchase the episodes, you know, just buy them on demand. Yeah, I will tell you there are a couple of incredibly good episodes of Discovery that I think you should just watch in absentia.

Klingon's a purple man man their heads are weird i'm not but there's a really good episode with uh i think their take on harry mudd is really smart he's just like uh he's like a scumbag space libertarian who's like just you know he's constantly like scamming people and there's one episode where harry Mudd keeps using like a time crystal and restarting time over and over so he can like steal the like so he can steal the the warp core of the discovery. And it's really, really good. And the other cool thing about discovery is that for the first season, the captain is a huge, crazy asshole. season the captain is a huge crazy asshole and it's like the first time in star trek that you're presented with a captain that you don't like and it's kind of like what would happen what would happen if you had to work because it's like we've all had shitty bosses but like every captain in

star trek is dope like even janeway like she's boring but she's nice to you like um so it's like well what would happen in Starfleet if like your captain was a huge son of a bitch how would you react to that like a lot of the episodes of Discovery are not good but there are some real gems that I think it's worth looking at I'd rather rewatch fucking Voyager than watch Discovery You've never even seen it you gotta give it a chance

I don't I refuse Alright That's right That everybody's had shitty bosses and i remember last time you were on you were talking we were i think it was even what he was like so now you got this notoriety you got some some online e-fame or whatever is everything looking up and you were like no my life has been destroyed everything is crumbling like where are you at since then are things looking up now like you um huh that's a great question i'm happy i'm very happy personally like uh like the i really like

the comedy that i'm doing i like the podcast i like the live streaming i like the twitch uh i just did like a 12 city tour over the summer i I went to Chicago and and Toronto and Montreal and Orlando and Houston and Austin. Like I went to all these cities to do comedy. It's a lot of fun. You know, it's I'm still in a crazy amount of legal debt, unfortunately. But I'll get out of it eventually that's what time is for um you know embroiled in any of the the maddox shit oh no thankfully it's just kind of uh you know i don't want the rest of my life to be about a guy that did something terrible to me.

You know what I mean? Like on one hand, like there's this way I could go where I could just like spend the rest of my life, like recording albums about this guy and dunking on this guy. And it's like, he's really easy to dunk on that guy sucks. But at the same time, I'm kind of like i wanna i kind of want to try to make comedy that makes people like my dream is to like make comedy that you can listen to while you're at your mind-numbing job, and it'll maybe transport you to a nice place for an hour.

Because that's what podcasts are for me. It's like, I'm on the subway, and it sucks, and I'm underground, and I don't have the internet, and every phone game now requires a constantly online internet thing. They don't have one single phone game. You can play Tetris and tetris needs you to be logged into the ea network at all times so you don't cheat on these tetris achievements whatever the fuck so it's like podcasts are kind of my escape you know or god

forbid if you're like on a long road trip or so like i've done so many like 24-hour road trips and i measure them in episodes of one of my favorite shows. It's called The Best Show, which is three hours long. And I imagine for your listeners, it's the same way. Like, you know, it's exhausting for me to do a four hour podcast, like as an adult human who just got done with his day job. But I imagine for a lot of your listeners are like oh shit i got four hours of stuff to listen to that's almost all my commutes this week yeah yeah yeah i think you're definitely right as far as that but you last time you were talking about like you you lost a job

i think it was you were in pr right yes i. Yeah. And now it seems like you're gainfully employed again. Well, here's the thing. I am New York City's oldest temp. I'm a 37-year-old temp. My grandma recently asked me if I got a job, and I was like, yeah, I'm temping at an advertising agency. And she's like, no, I mean a real job with benefits in a retirement account and i was like calm down grandma jesus christ i'm doing my best over here you sound like every girl on grandma fucking roasting you yes that's the thing about my grandma is that she no i meant a

job that was respectable exactly like the thing about my grandma is that she's so old that she's lost the part of her brain that tells you not to say the things you're thinking so like one year at christmas that happens in your 40s i can't wait till i hit that age yes the first thing she says to me she goes like you got fat and your hair looks bad and i'm like merry christmas grandma and then i had to go upstairs and be sad for a little bit because i'm just like i have all these memories of this wonderful woman saying wonderful things and taking care of me and now someone with that woman's face is just out to hurt my feelings oh goodness um yeah i i've been temping since then and uh you know uh putting the money towards legal debt putting the money towards paying the rent and all that

uh and you know i hopefully i will eventually find a full-time job at the risk of throwing grandma on you are you sending out resumes are you looking for a job or oh yeah i mean like like you know one of the one of the ways in advertising that you find a full-time job is through temping okay yeah because like nobody wants to hire it's like why would we hire a stranger full-time and immediately give them benefits and have to pay their unemployment if they turn out to be a nut if we can just have them like temper us for six months and then maybe think about hiring them full-time a lot of advertising agencies and especially in tech

you know like you hear about this in google all the time the red badge blue badge problem yeah where it's non-stop contractors because it is a shitload easier to convince the bean counters to bring in a contractor than a full-time hire so it's just kind of like well why wouldn't you have a contractor army and when you think about a company like google that has more money than god that like could use 50 dollar bills for toilet paper and still have a trillion dollars it's like why do they have a huge contractor army? Because fuck you, that's why. Because it's cheaper.

I don't know if it's even cheaper. At Cisco, the contractors actually earned a lot of money. Not that the contractors got rich, but the contracting company took a big chunk of it, too. So there's an overhead there. I think they just like the flexibility. They like that they could lay off people and not have news about it. You said Cisco did that thing where every quarter or whatever, they would fire the bottom 20% or something? Yeah.

Not every manager did that reliably, but yeah, that was like part of the corporate culture there. That is fucking ruthless. Yeah. I was kind of proud of myself sometimes just for not getting fired yet you're like you go home to jackie you got young kids she's like how was your day oh guess who did not get fired 20 quarters in a row of being top 75 percent i made a roast to celebrate you not getting fired the quarterly purge that's the werner von braun method

you know he would hang the four slowest jews every day oh god jesus christ yeah wait is that a real thing absolutely is father of the american space program father of nasa werner von braun why did he measure them on speed though i mean there's lots of ways that I value my Jews, and it's not a foot race thing. Why was a fucking rocket scientist in charge of hanging people? He ran a factory that I'm pretty sure made rockets to bomb London. I don't know. Yeah.

It just doesn't seem, if you're a rocket scientist, the time could be spent on rockets. It was his factory. He was in charge. He sounds like a production manager more so than a rocket scientist. Yeah. Is he getting credit for rockets when he shouldn't? I believe this guy just was a low-level mid-manager.

I am so tired of this von Braun taking credits for my rocket designs. Can you say something? Oh, no. He's actually also in charge of killing people. He's also in charge of a couple other things. I'll say it's spooky. I'm going to let him take credit for the V2. He's not the nice guy.

No, he seems, frankly, he's a prick. Yeah. And now there's news because we're losing. He's going to get a nice paying job with 401k in America. Wow, Warner Von Braun has better benefits than I do. God damn. You just need to be a Nazi scientist.

Those guys, buku bucks. Well, apparently NASA just named a comet after a Nazi, didn't they? So maybe Von Braun's legacy lives on. That is so good that immediately after World War II, we were like, fuck you, Soviets, we're getting in a space race. And the Soviets were like, but you took all the Germansans that know how to make rockets he's like nope they're americans now we get credit for their dope ass rockets so

russians still did well i we act like we won the space race because we went to the moon first allegedly but did we the goal posts yes we kept the goalposts until we were the first one across that finish line. They got a couple of first downs. First dog in space, first man in space, first satellite. They got the first rocket in space, first dog, first monkey, first people. We send dog up there, and then we send Yuri Gagarin up there. First people in space. And then they have to watch the news and the americans are

like no no bitch it's about the moon now they had the first person in orbit right like you like to go around the whole earth in space uh they had like speed records you know they gave up after we went to the moon though that's what's important they were like shit we can go to mars they couldn't top us they couldn't top us it was you know it was because they run out of money or run out of science they ran out of german scientists all right so i see speaking of scientists i see pickle rick behind you did you watch the new episode of Rick and Morty? Season four, episode one. I did. And it really changed my opinion on Rick and Morty because for a long time. Well, no, I loved Rick and Morty.

I loved it. Loved the first season of the second season. I thought a lot of the episodes in the third season were good. And then becoming a Rick and Morty fan became untenable. Like, absolutely. You could not be a Rick and Morty fan became untenable like absolutely you could not be a Rick and Morty fan they're terrorizing McDonald's because they want this meme sauce

and they're like screaming wubba lubba dub dub in funerals and it's just like it became kind of like porn where it's like look we all watch it we just don't talk about it like but then i saw the first episode of the new season and i was like this is really funny i think i maybe

don't mind talking about rick and morty and i like so it's better now because season three the episodes i didn't even watch all the episodes they were a huge some were good some were bad from season one and two which i thought were very fun some were good some were bad i don't have the list in front of me but i i definitely didn't like some of them and i definitely did like some of them i will say this about season four episode one there is a scene at the dinner table should i take this off no i'm not gonna spoil anything i just going to say there was a scene at the dinner table that I was wildly uncomfortable watching. Wow. That says something for a host on this show.

I was so uncomfortable watching that. I was like, ah, ah, ah. We had like 40 minutes talking about women fucking dogs earlier. No, but that's hot. This is different. And then with that scene, I won't say anything about it, but just when you think

it can't get darker, it does. Good. I want to see it now. Now, where'd you see it? Was it Hulu? I purchased it. Yeah, was Rick and Morty on? I just bought it.

Where'd you buy it? It's not on Hulu right now. Amazon? Okay. I just searched Rick and Morty and then I bought the whole season. The season's $25. I'm sure I'll be able to find it. I found the Mandalorian. Yeah. Yeah, seasons 1 through 3

are on Hulu, but the new season isn't. I like that about the Mandalorian, too, is that he's essentially, like, bulletproof. It seems like he's pretty much invincible there were some scenes where there was like a crazy gunfight and there was some almost manufactured tension

and I was like wait a minute they've shot him like three times what are we worried about he's bulletproof I'm using the Mandalorian to construct the Space Force. Honestly, I didn't think I'd like the film, the show, whatever. I watched it.

That armor is cool as fuck. Lots of smart people. Lots of good people talking about how smart and cool that armor looks. This is what we're going to do for space. If he did that, people will be like, fucking Trump. But damn, that's cool. The Space Force doesn't exist at all. And it's so dumb.

There's no buddy in the entire space. There's fucking space marines up there right now. There are zero Space Force employees. You don't know. You wouldn't tell Woody's Gamertag about his space marines. I am a bit of a blabbermouth. They're up there stomping alien assholes. They're not.

For all we know, the Martians have been trying to invade since the late 80s. And nothing but Reagan and Trump and the Republicans have shielded your liberal ass from the iron boot of the Martian. No, Woody, it's in motion.

He's conscripting the finest astronaut the finest astronauts to lead the space force you you all you people out there the fact that you still aren't sure if aliens are real tells me my space force is doing a pretty damn good job please he put amarosa in charge of it it hasn't gone anywhere that's right you know she was terrible she's the closest thing to an alien that i know Please. He put Omarosa in charge of it. It hasn't gone anywhere. You know, she was terrible. She didn't even know all the planets. I knew at least six of them. Okay, five. Okay, five. I count Earth.

I also count Pluto. I'm not here to do a space battle. I'm here to have a space war that we're going to win. The sun. Oh, can we do my link the moon is it about space yeah i count the moon i like the cow counted the moon that way that slipped under the radar um so texas is now fining people 500 bucks for sending unsolicited nudes this is dick pics if you send a dick pic to a chick it now will cost you 500 dollars boo boo all right first of all i is i don't know i just feel like if i got pussy pics i wouldn't be all upset about it there goes my reddit inbox and second how do we feel about breastfeeding right Are breastfeeding not the in real life equivalent of unsolicited dick pics?

No, breastfeeding is like more of a biological necessity. Oh, please, so is peeing. But I don't feel that way. Do you feel the same way about peeing in diners and on buses? It's just coming to my attention and lots of people, here, listen to this, you won't believe this. Lots of girls are pulling

their tits out feeding kids in public. I for one think it's hot. You know what I always say hungry why wait it's unsolicited nudity i get that it's a biological function much like peeing but it's unsolicited nudity if i'm gonna get in trouble for sending my dick to women around the world then i feel like there should be some gender equality here. What if I take pictures from the internet and send pictures of other people's penises? That counts.

Yeah. I think that it doesn't say it has to be your dick. It's just unsolicited news. And now you got to go to court and believe you me, I've placed every single judge in court and you're going to get off. Tell me. Yeah. You're going to get off more ways than what people are saying

unsolicited nudes 500 where do we stand on this good law bad law i think it's a it's i don't i really don't even know you shouldn't send unsolicited yeah it's funny on one hand you shouldn't do it i agree right on the other hand is it not just harmlessly shooting your shot right like i assume oh i guess see i've never even taken a dick pic they don't exist allegedly but that's what people who have dick pics say uh i just feel like in my head the sequence goes like this hey i like you hey you like me hey you know wouldn't it be cool if we did this or whatever? And then the guy tries to take it to the next level, perhaps clumsily, but he thought that maybe this would be he would get a positive reaction from this dick pic. You're right. This is anti-autism.

That's what the true thing is. Are people sending dick pics? Yes, they are. I'm going to tell tell you that sounds like a at least somewhat solicited dick pic not like like uh my uh you know my my girlfriend is a she's an internet personality and um look i just know generally speaking that like female internet personalities well they'll just get dicks sent to them and it's kind of like you know i would say that like five hundred dollars though is not bad because it's like okay shoot your shot if you lose and she doesn't want to see the dick pic all right i'll pay the dick pic tax

five hundo it is i mean it's not like they're taking off the guy's pinky finger. Now you've got a misdemeanor on your record. It's a lot. $500? I mean, when... But my penis is priceless! Like, that's the thing. Like, if you're going to get a picture of my penis, the fine should be much higher than that. It started at a million dollars.

A half a million for each ball, I say. Your penis is not priceless. It's 500 bucks. No, wait, they get more price on it. The word you're picking up is worthless. All right, I say. Your penis is not priceless. It's $500. No, wait. The word you're picking up is worthless. Oh, wait. They rhyme. No, there's the rhyme. I don't... This has stumped me

more than any political debacle in the past couple years. It's like, well, you probably shouldn't do that, but when a woman texts you, oh, I love the office. Do you? What am I supposed to send back? Cock and balls.

You fill it in. Yeah, cock and balls. Yeah. But you do it in an aesthetic way. You rub yourself down in oil. You make sure your face is out of the photo. Lots of things. Lots of things you need to do. You make sure that you're

that the product is pimped and fluffed and ready, right? When you are the product, you present the best version of you. No, but Woody, you're not just fluffed. You gotta see your stereos. Here's a speed bump. We run into

Dick. He thinks that you fluff See you, Stereos. Here's a speed bump. We run into Dick Pick. He thinks that you fluff your dick to get it a bigger, soft version. What you need to do is get hard and turgid, turgid, whatever the word is, just

like a fucking rock. And then you send that. You don't send a floppy-ass Dick Pick. That's low energy. I didn't know that. When Jep was trying to fuck his ugly wife, he sent her a flaccid dick pic. Oh my God. I legit thought like two or three years ago that what you did when taking a dick pic was like jerk it a little so that it was soft. But you know it was like soft plus. It was your best

non-hard dick. This guy maybe hasn't sent a dick pic. I take it back. Female minds see the soft dick they're like, oh, that's for pissing. Exactly. That's a peeing dick. They want to see a hard

ass dick that could be plunged into them over and over. That's what they want. Like a knife. And they want this. Boys out there listening, they want pictures of that no matter what they say. I said pictures of the Hitachi magic wand

because that's what they really want. Yes. Photos of a vibrator. You know, after you said that horrible thing, it reminded me of why you can't stream on Twitch, but maybe you want to give the PKA audience some update on your computer. When do we expect your PC to arrive at this point?

I know we discussed it on PKN. No, we have a tracking number. It's going to happen. Dude, yeah, it's supposed to be tomorrow. It's out for delivery. It's supposed to be tomorrow. Sure out for delivery it's supposed to be tomorrow and you know what else is shitty is I go to my grandparents house for the

weekend tomorrow and so I was hoping to at least get it early like this week it's gonna sit on your doorstep and get rained on and get it set up and everything and then no it's gonna show up on fucking tomorrow Friday and sit there I hope it shows up before I have to leave town and I can move it into my house.

That would suck ass if I show back up and I'm like, hey, I don't have my PC. And they're like, sorry, bitch. Here's the UPS delivery guy's photo. We delivered it. So you've got three letters. What are the odds of it getting stolen right in St. Louis? First warning, second warning, return to shipper. Yeah, so I'm really excited to get it

going it's gonna be fun i i'm pretty much leaning now entirely towards the youtube direction after mostly kyle and chiz being like taylor you're gonna get banned so quickly and it would be for something i didn't even think was that offensive yeah but i really want to play the south park game and then there's a new I'd probably I know I'd play the first South Park game, because that game's a ton of fun. I don't remember a lot about it, because it was so long ago.

I just take a different class and play. Yeah, Stick of Truth. Hilarious. And then they have a second one. Yeah, this Fractured But Whole. Another hilarious pun name. And another game I want to try playing is Pokemon sword and shield which is like the new pokemon that's coming out and i love playing pokemon like the new ones just kind of like getting a feel for how that universe has evolved since fucking 1997 when i

got pokemon red and so i definitely want to play that unless it's dumb or too hard yeah you need to come play some fucking cold duty with us. We've been camping our fucking asses off. It's so much fun. People melt down. They call us names I've never even heard before. They invent new things to call us. It's so fun.

You're selling me. It's not that you get in one room, fucking 12 claymores spread out guarding one fucking room everybody's got that 725 shotgun or an rpg pointed at every crack crack and crevice of every door and window and that's an entryway and when they come in they just explode over and over and over and when the game is over they call us the f word it's they call you a fuck are you sure they're not no they're not xbox players oh the funnier one the f slur oh the f slur oh that's a bad yes they call us awful then the n word maggot yeah yeah like that they call us horrible horrible things and it's a fucking funny funny time um we i love it the problem with streaming cod is that you have to look at it constantly. If you look away from COD

for a quarter second, you could die. Yeah, you could stream 2v2s because then you play for five minutes and get five minutes off and play for five minutes and five minutes off. 2v2s are sick. I love those. What I like so much about doing the South Park game, potentially, is it's a turn-based kind of, I guess, RPG? Is that what you

call it? I guess. I don't really know. I don't know. But you can just kind of play and joke around as it's happening you know there's no time limit thing because i i know if i played cod i would get so frustrated and focused on trying to not be absolute trash that i wouldn't talk that much i had you know my experience was a little more like it's one thing to suck and i i super sucked when i live streamed it uh to suck in public like kind of doubles that down like you know like everyone's kind of i worry i'm not making a good stream because i'm playing so poorly they're kind of making fun like it sucking in public is less fun than sucking privately which is not much fun i have to say it's like i feel like the only

two ways to stream our game is either you are the best at it or the worst at it like and there's like nothing there's like no room in streaming for a mediocre player like luckily i'm terrible at almost all video games so most of the time i'm streaming a game it's just the chat screaming at me to be doing something. And I tried to play the Spider-Man game on literal child mode. There was a mode that was just for children, and I still kept getting consistently killed by the rhino or the green goblin or whatever. And yeah, I don't think there's anything in between. There's room for a personality-based streamer.

That's true, of course. I like Sandy Ravage a lot, and he's both. When he plays a shooter, he's a talent-based streamer. When he plays American Truck Simulator, he's a personality-based streamer. No one's watching him for his driving skill, but they're still watching him. Yeah, you can see both done well.

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Human. Yeah, and I get sweaty on my balls. You know what I would love is for my balls to have deodorant on them. But you don't want them all dried out. You want moist and supple they have to be supple yes if it's like a well-oiled speed bag yeah it's like an oil speed bag exactly and that is what this advertiser wants us talking about i don't like comparing my scrotum to a speed bag send a text to your mother right now ask her hey how are dad's balls smelling this holiday season are they smelling a little foul little dank yeah little musty they're definitely musty really it

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I want the onion straws. So, yeah. Wait, onion straws. So, yeah. Wait, onion straws? Also, another pro tip is that is not the way you get your burger refunded. What about fried onion pieces? Oh, they're not used for drinking onion straws. Definitely not. That would be gross.

Well, there's paper straws and there's pasta straws. Onion straws didn't sound so outrageous. That would be vile. Yeah, it would be. That would be terrible. You know what it would be. That would be terrible. You know what would make this Coca-Cola better? If I was sucking it through a hollow onion ring. Do you have garlic straws?

I have a topic in the chat. Shave your balls. All right. So this gentleman was, he has a life sentence scanning it what did he do did he murder somebody benjamin schreiber so he has a life sentence at iowa state penitentiary and then he died briefly and he had a do not resuscitate agreement but for some reason they resuscitated him anyway and now he feels like because of his brief death that his uh life sentence should be over and completed shut up bitch you killed someone die in jail are we sure about that yeah oh is it in here it says that a

man serving a life sentence for murder claimed his sentence was fulfilled blah blah blah everything you just said ah okay for murder, yeah, thank you. Look, let's not talk about the unfunny parts of this story. Yes, he beat someone to death with an axe handle, and he said, let's move that aside. This guy's going for the ultimate grift. Like, he did technically die. Like, he died on the table, and now he's alive. And way back when, when all these laws were written, like, they didn't know stuff about the shock paddles or whatever.

Mm-hmm. Maybe we let this guy go, not because he's so good, but because it's pretty clever stuff. We need more clever murderers out there like the air bud rules where it's like that old woman like sits there and opens a giant tome of little league soccer rules and is like there's nothing that says a dog can't play and it's like you dumb bitch of course

a dog can't play he served horse he over served a life sentence by four years technically yeah so if anything we should let him out and give him a knife. To test his resolve. Speaking of murders who have been freed, I was directed toward O.J. Simpson's Twitter account yesterday.

People might be interested in the answer. The court said he's either alive, where he needs to stay in prison or he's dead where this appeal is moot so yeah he did not win his case anyway somebody directed me toward oj simpson's twitter account and i didn't realize it but they had tricked me they had sent me like a joke account but he the joker is like those people who am like pretend to be wings on twitter like it's close enough that you don't catch it yeah he's just like oh with a zero or something it's it wasn't even the name it was more like the tweets were kind of professional he's like you know there's

some tweets about how the bills are doing this year you know he pleased to play for the bills and then it's like hello twitter world i'm gonna cut right to the point here and get and i'm like whoa did he just say he's gonna cut right to the point that's that's a little edgy oj and then he's like i'm having a pumpkin carving contest this year what do y'all think of mine and it's just a pumpkin that's been slashed off i'm just like oh my god you just don't give a fuck anymore and i was i was typing my friends i was like he just doesn't give a shit huh they're like it's a joke account it's a joke oh thank god thank god because i thought the juice had lost it you fell for a juice fake account you boomer look like a real you boomer

account you boomer look like a real you boomer but i mean to be fair do you guys remember the the like the sizzle reel for that oj simpson prank show called juice i've seen it i've watched the whole show yeah i do not know that you don't know that show no there's a i'll let kyle take this one because he seems really excited to talk about this he had a prank show called Juiced there's an episode where he's posing as a used car salesman I bet you liked your neck attached to the rest of your body

pranked there's an episode where he poses as a used car salesman he's selling the Bronco he has the he's like, it's great for making a getaway. If you need to split, need to

get out of town real quick, this is the car for you. I'll even sign right here next to these bullet holes. They're like, is this the Bronco? He's like, yeah. Yeah, I got a certificate. Authenticity. Dude, being able to joke about the murders you definitely probably committed

takes a real commitment to comedy i know there's a reason he was in all the naked gun movies he's incredible comedic timeberg yeah he's great then this pretty blonde lady comes up looking at the bronco and he's like he's like you know you look like you take care yourself you you care yourself well you you get a car like this man's gonna take one look at it and he's gonna say that's a single woman right there because he's gonna know that nobody ain't taking care of you because you know if you're hanging out with me you won't be driving no car like this you'll be taken care of do you like your blood inside your body how do you how do you like your head attached or detached because i can go either way

it is so crazy that he he's hitting on her effectively though that's what's hilarious and this hidden camera show like like the juice is hitting on i don't know a 28 32 year old somewhere in there very attractive blonde lady and she's like giggly and like definitely receptive toward it and he's just like you know you get a car like this you can have all kind of men coming because they're gonna be able to tell ain't no man taking care of you you ain't taken they go no the windows don't even roll down and she's like yeah that's funny you're right like he's selling her on it like she's down to buy the car there's also and i wonder if hysteria has seen this an oj simpson rap video you ever see that that i have not seen oh god rapping and we get claimed if we

watch it for sure and then all that money is gonna go to that murderer so we can't watch it we gotta claim there's titties in the video he's got naked whores dancing in the video on him and they all look like nicole with their titties out and he's got midgets in it he's got a midget dressed as elvis presley and he's dressed as elvis presley and they're dancing together him and his midget i didn't think this conversation would have me taking oj's side in everything it's hilarious it's called juicing it or something like that i don't remember it's something I don't know about the rap. Yeah, it's outrageous. No, but including a midget.

First of all, pro-diversity. And I'm all about progressive stuff. It's called get juiced. It's called get juiced. Yeah, so the fact that there's like an OJ rap video and an OJ prank show makes it not outside of the realm of possibility that he'd have fire tweets on Twitter. Like I remember when that account came out and I also thought it was OJ because everybody for that for like a couple hours, we all thought it was OJ's real Twitter account. It's like, well, no Twitter account is verified in the first couple hours twitter account it's like well no twitter account is verified in the first couple hours so it's like yeah maybe this is oj oh wait no that oj does

have a twitter account where he does tweet audacious things oh no really yeah yeah like he makes videos of himself like and and he starts every video by going hello twitter world the juice here and he says hilarious shit like he'll be talking about a golf match or something and he's like you know if tiger loses this you don't want to know what kind of thing i'm capable of and then we'll just cut off this video and it's like dude the ultimate troll you yeah literally probably killed someone he'll say things like let me just cut to the chase here or let me cut all cut through all the bull crap. He'll say stuff.

Let me slice through your neck tendons real quick. Let me stab my way to my next point. You know what? You're being a real Ron Goldman right now. A real Ron Goldman indeed. Yeah, his account's funny. like i followed you know mixed up in my life trying to take what's mine you know what's gonna happen next brentwood baby what's this cyclist jan janez yeah you guys want to see it oh i like this lady lady this is a dude

he's a professional cyclist and i think he makes a pretty effective advertisement for steroids and bulimia right he's fucking jacked and ripped oh oh i thought this was gonna be the lady who flipped off trump's motorcade and won and won election oh oh no this is much worse this is real. It seems like this guy has the opposite legs of the first guy we all talked about. Like, if they could somehow have legs in the middle. Oh, my goodness. He is dry. A little bulimia and a lot of steroids.

It's a good look. No? That's a terrible look. Oh, he's ripped. Ladies love that. This is fucking gross, dude. True. He's got mummerized calves.

This is rough here. I bet he's a good cyclist. Yes. He's got nothing but muscle to bring up that hill. Yeah. Gross. Oh my goodness. Janis Brakovic. You got some gross legs dude you're that's the envy

talking taylor i bet i bet i could cycle even better than you do i don't think so in terms of like hauling up the hill all he has is muscle you know i pick up my bike and sprint up the hill yeah taylor's i think taylor could out pedal this guy this guy's kind of a bitch yeah that guy's a professional cyclist ah he looks like a beta look at those i mean his legs aren't even that big a professional cyclist it's all political it's about who you know it's about who you know that's why baron trump is breaking his way onto the cycling Biden's been there for five years now people are always like joking about him being autistic which I don't even know if it's true or

not but if he like first of all that kid is like six five by this point it's yeah unbelievable every time you see that kid. It's like, what? I like him. I try not to talk shit about presidents under 18 kids. But the moment they turn 18, I roast them. Only if they're part of the game.

Right? Okay, Trump's adult kids. They're out there selling books and on Fox News and stuff. They're fair game. Let's say a hypothetical Chelsea who didn't do anything political, I would leave her alone. She didn't ask for that.

Can we still make fun of her face, though? Well, she's in politics. She's undeniably ugly. And someone else is on it. I see we all have different rules of engagement um i lost my train of thought anyway this guy's legs are gross and awesome at the same time eric trumpy to me also ugly eric trump's when he smiles it looks like he still has his baby teeth

that is trump's at least third favorite kid. So show some respect. People tell me to stack rank my kids. I say I love them all equally. In a sense. You know, is it Ivana or Ivanka? I can't get it right. His wife or his daughter?

The daughter. Ivanka. Okay, so Ivanka's the favorite. And then comes Don Jr. And then maybe Eric. Ivanka. Okay, so Ivanka's the favorite and then comes Don Jr. and then maybe Eric. Well, Don doesn't give quite the blowjob that Ivana does, I gotta say. You wanna see another fight at Popeye's?

Yes! They keep on coming. They keep on coming. It's ground zero. The golden goose. It's ground zero for hand-to-hand combat. Did you mean to timestamp it? I did not. I did not.

That's the sort of thing that happens. I blame you. Okay. Alright, I am ready. I don't even see the mirror. Popeye's Chicken Drive-Thru. Are we ready? I'm ready. Set, play.

Wait a minute. Now it's a girl fight. They don't throw shoes. Oh! Oh my god! The husband's involved. Thunder! Get off my fucking wife! Wait a minute! Get off my wife! Get off my wife! Get off my wife! Get off my fucking wife!

Wait a minute! Get off my fucking wife! Oh, she fought a woman with backup! Damn right! Sir! Sir! Here's your chicken sandwich! I wanted regular, not spicy! Chick-fil-A would have had them their food by now.

Are those cops? Yeah, look at the biggest cop of all time. Well, you got this enormous cop who just showed up. Look at the big boy. Look at the big boy. I like her. Yeah, like the juggernaut just showed up. That woman is going to be great.

Officer Wilson Fisk. Yes! She should have stayed in the car. She was screaming and hollering at him in the drive-thru line. And she fell down trying to protect her man. Girl, you protect your man. Wait, what?

Don't protect your man. I love this commentary. Yeah, I do like this. These guys need a podcast. That's the boy right there. They need to give him some chicken sandwiches. Which one? Is it about the cop or the guy?

Yeah. Okay. The cop. The cop's gargantuan. Look at him. He is. Who's the guy from Daredevil? Yeah, Wilson Fisk.

Yeah. That's the reference I made. Yeah, my missy. What you gonna do? He's as big as that cyclist's legs. Jesus. Yeah, honey. How could this only have 23 views?

This is fantastic. How did we find it? I wonder if Officer Big Daddy wants a little brown sugar. There might be a little altercation in this later on. I didn't follow the genesis of this. Go to my wife! Okay, that's what I was able to keep up with. Whose car were they outside of?

One woman went to another woman's car to sort of accost her. And then that woman got out of her car and decided to take it physical, right? It's all in the ether. None of us can ever know. I feel like everyone knows but me all the time. That's how it feels.

You guys don't know either? Like the genesis? It looked to me like one woman was in an argument with the other woman and started hitting the car that she was in. Because the thing she said was, don't hit my husband's car. Okay, so she had her husband with her and she got out of the car yeah and then the husband gets out of the car when things start not going his wife's way it would appear and and he that's when he started hitting that woman like she was a grown-ass man

it's like there were three people in the pile no yeah the husband and the two women it appeared i thought or maybe there was a third woman too no. No, no, no. You know, it's Popeye's. I thought there was a beta man. The husband, his wife, and the other woman. Or who was it? Because he was pulling his wife off, if I recall correctly, and then punching down at the remaining woman going, get off of my wife.

Get off of my wife. Oh, man. Man, I need to go to Popeye's more. I told you. Don't be shitting on Popeye's. They make good chicken. Oh, I was just meaning for the fights. Entertainment capital of the South.

Popeye's Trap Cruise. Yeah? Yeah. Okay, there were definitely three people in that pile. I'm re-watching it now. And I'm a little lost. Look, we don't need to know why they're fighting. The important thing is that they're

fighting i'm fighting on camera i'd love to know the flow of the fight the genesis of the fight is paramount to me i'm sorry george rr martin hasn't written 700 pages about the popeye oh that's when you're wrong there would be 700 pages about the popeyes and what about the fight? And the chicken was spicy. The chicken was succulent and juicy. The oil from the chicken sprayed upon Lashonda's head. And there were ten punches and that was it. The feel

of her sweatpants against her ass. And oil. What I imagine that actually happened is the woman who the wife initially came out to fight was in her car. And the wife was being cunty and came out to fight that woman. And then that woman came out engaged. They both fought and the wife started losing. And that's

when the husband emerged to join in. That doesn't account for the third woman. No, there were two. I'm positive there were three women in the pile. Like actually, I saw it and then you guys didn't see it so I rewatched it and saw it again. Then I don't know what the fuck is going on. Yeah, I don't care anymore. But I like any sort of Popeyes fracas.

I'll take whatever I can get. I love the UFC but popeyes is the better fighting organization if you ask me any sort of any sort of fast food fracas is hilarious i still think felon fights bring maybe it's nostalgia but felon fights is the best in my fights when that guy started biting the face of the other guy, I busted a gut. Dude, that was legit scary. That guy's screaming

while his face was being bit. Like, I don't want to fight anymore. I'm done. Someone break this up. And the other guy is biting his face and growling. Dude, he needed that 30 rack of Natty Light.

He showed it. Dude, he needed that 30 rack of Natty Light. He showed it. Goading homeless people into fighting for a 30 pack of Natty Light. Funny. That's American. That's American. That's capitalism. That's capitalism. That's capitalism. Yeah, that's capitalism. That's where we are. Well are well i mean we're talking about like you know

prisoner fights versus popeyes fights like do we really have to choose this isn't a sophie's choice it's a sophie's bounty like we have so many great children so many great fights we can watch fights at a denny's yeah you can watch fights on the bus homeless people fighting you now you can watch internet assholes fighting like uh jake paul fight who did he fight some guy logan paul yeah logan paul did you guys watch that i watched it live no i don't know who ksi is ksi is a YouTuber He's been on this show before Very popular Doesn't like Wings of Redemption

They had a feud for a while Athletic black guy And Logan Paul is a big athletic white guy Used to be a wrestler He is on Clearly all the roids So He is so roided

Logan's neck is about this big like he's going to his neck is about this year he and he's a perfect specimen now like i please someone hook me up with his cocktail and like i don't want the hair loss but i'd love the neck down effect that he's got going on um the fight everyone talks about how terrible they are at fighting they look like good amateurs to me like maybe i'm just i've never claimed to be a real striking like a fish they're good amateurs everybody's just nitpicking because they don't like the idea and nobody likes it when someone like that like gets that many eyes on them like like so many more people are going to watch logan paul fight ksi than than are going to watch like

two actual like yeah the w weight championship or something so logan paul had a really effective jab that he just punished ksi with all night long he had an effective uppercut uppercut that he used like twice uh one he knocked down ksi and then while he was down logan paul kept punching him and there was one ineffective hit while his opponent was on the ground, but it cost him two points. So he lost the fight by split decision. KSI, he's shorter. So he had a hard time getting on the inside. And he just did these wild, like, looping overhands. And I don't remember him hitting any point all night long.

But he won the fight by split decision. Logan is so fucking big in real life. Like, the most unrealistic part of that movie that i did with him aside from like hijacking an airplane and people getting sucked into outer space was me choking out logan paul i was like he was like really choke me bro really come at me and the stuntman's like no i don't do that i don't do that i'm responsible here i don't anybody get hurt i'm like i don't think i'm gonna hurt him i'm pretty sure he's okay like like like i don't even think my hand's big enough to choke that giant i think he's notably bigger now than he was during that filming

probably so he has to be because he's been training for like two fights like like over the course of like a year his neck was so goddamn big that my hand like barely like covered the front of it like it didn't get around to the sides i feel like a big i can hold a basketball with one hand my hands are like pretty decent so i wear extra large gloves like i don't have gargantuan hands but they're big hands his neck is literally this fucking big like it's it's a huge fucking damn i've got a neck like that and i don't even work for it well you do in a way it holds this noggin up your neck's doing curls all fucking uh yeah logan paul's super fit uh i feel like I'm getting good at administering the performance enhancing drug eye test.

You know, I look at the traps, the deltoids and the nipples, and I'm just like, check, check, check on Logan Paul. Um, and, uh, yeah, anyway, I enjoyed the fight. They're, they're always better than I think they are. And I feel like all the people throwing salt at them, it's like get in the ring. And I think you'll find that it's hard to look good. Yeah. They're always better than I think they are. And I feel like all the people throwing salt at them, it's like get in the ring. And I think you'll find that it's hard to look good. Yeah, they're just jelly. They're jelly.

They don't like it when somebody outside the sport comes in and gets that many eyes on them. And that's true for like everything. These are like fans I'm talking about. I'm not saying boxers throwing salt. People watching it are throwing salt. And that's a thing that happens too like they watch a guy mayweather and fucking mcgregor fight and that's the only fight you've

ever seen and you're like oh those guys seem like professional well they are fucking professional boxers the people who spent their entire life yeah doing one thing really fucking well and and all of a sudden you got logan paul who's like who does like 20 different things right he's been training for three years yeah like pretty fucking good i don't know if you saw a hockey player who trained for three years and the only thing you've ever watched is the nhl you would think that slap shot's a little sloppy right oh my god did you see it wiggled he's skating backwards while he's passing give him a fucking break yeah yeah so i think people looked at it through the lens of

you know real professionalism but But I enjoyed the fight. I'd steal it again. Not that I did. Have you seen this footage of this ski lift going haywire? It sounds funny. What? Oh, 2018? Maybe a different one.

It's really whipping people around. It's in Georgia? The country, not the state. Oh, I was like, yeah does georgia know about ski lifts no wonder it went so wrong well wind it up to 10 get them down the hill are you guys ready yeah let me get the sound on i want to hear people screaming i'm ready ready oh wait i'm at four seconds ready set play it's going uphill at this point. Whoa.

It's going uphill way too fast. No, wait. I'm all wrong. It just goes backwards in the way I expected. Yeah, it does both. Why are people coming down the ski lift? It's broken. And all the weight's on the downside.

They cannot get off? Look at that kid. Whoa! No, they can get off. They're great at it. Oh! Look, here's some more people who are about to be good at getting off. Sooka! It's somehow getting faster.

Dude, I just saw a really smart person jump like pretty far away from the turn thing. This person person hanging on Yo mistake don't hit the chairs slinging these bitches No, I love the guys get off the ones getting off in advance have you oh? That's a dead person Oh my Jump off now. Yeah, there's some heroes rescuing people at the fall off zone

Yeah Why do people keep getting on the other side It's clear that this is a human meat grinder I paid for my day pass And I'm gonna get to ski This is the fastest lift on the mountain Get off get get off. And he's like pointing at his tag like, fuck you.

Nah, bro. I paid the $65. $65. It slung one of those people not even exaggerating 30 feet. The person in pink?

There was one person who came around and was still sitting on there like a tar yeah there were two that i saw she got he or she got swung off so so hard i feel like you can fly pretty far in the snow i think one of them landed in the pile of chairs that's the issue it looked like yeah that person's probably dead that that's the person that's when i went that person's dead that person's dead. That person's dead. At least retarded. Yeah. Yeah. No more long division for that fucking Georgian. No.

And who needs long division? That's, you know, long division is tough. Georgia? What are you dividing? Why don't you ask Siri? Yeah. Siri, how do I do long division? Ask her for tips. Ding, ding.

Well, idiot, what you do do put your helmet back on jerome you've left your extra large helmet at home did you mean to yeah that's a really fucking funny clip i like that i like not for the people involved but for us no those poor poor people see that's why i don't go skiing yeah because that happens all the time every time from what i understand and the reason this doesn't get out to the public big skiing lobby to keep it illegal to show these clips and that's the reason so many you don't even know how many people are dying in aspen year over year

because big ski keeps them on they're all globalists by the way big ski so i guess reno is a big ski place that's a place where skiing happens and when i broke my leg there i was like i bet these orthopedic surgeons are great at broken legs this has to be like a 1040 for an accountant like all day all winter long it's like god's broken ankle season they're they're specialists probably the old the old 1040 oh don't get me started on what that is yeah it's a basic bitch financial doctor it's a personal tax return everyone does 1040s yeah i was a little confused why you didn't know that one yeah my b-line along just play along just play along that's kind of badass okay

not everyone they are pretty cool they're like the superheroes of the jew world they're like my cousin of the jew world they're like my cousin larry's an accountant like it's what lawyers wish they were he's not an astronaut yeah and if he was he's probably not even german yeah i hope not is that how jews talk kyle just always's always this. It keeps going higher and higher. My David knew. He thought it was my son David.

My son David? Don't get me started. Oh, you're telling him to do this and do that. You don't even know what you're doing, Jeff Goldblum, who's also Jewish. Yeah. Jeff Goldblum got me too god damn shame no really i got me too yeah what did what is he accused of doing something not ideal but you know details but like i i choose not to believe it i like i like jeff goldblum there was that scene when he

was like talking when he was like watching that water drop go across Dr. Grant's lady's arm in the, in the helicopter. And I was like, that's what you ease up, Jeff. You're about to get jacked up by a fucking paleontologist halfway to the fucking dino Island.

Like you're already hitting on this blonde lady. Now, now, now you put a drop of, yeah, you put a drop of water on a, on an erect child's penis and you see which side it drops off.

It falls on the left or the right. It means they're down to fuck. I'm trying to find Jeff. It seems like he didn't do anything. I think what he actually did was say that Me Too is going too far and that he would work with Woody Allen. Well, that's you know that's

different because woody allen is a piece of shit he's one of the bad ones you fuck one little girl and people judge you forever yeah because she's your daughter you know it's really you're pointing out it is unfair that same jew accent works i i i fuck one little girl and i suddenly i'm a rapist suddenly her mom won't forgive me who is my wife put this drop put this drop of water on your on your what is that from i think i don't understand a thing you're trying to Jurassic Park where he's putting the water on the woman's hand

and being like, I can already tell you where it's going to fall off. On your tiny little vulva. Oh, Jesus Christ. Watch where it goes. The trick is you don't just want one water. You want enough water to get the child slippery. Yeah, you want it all slippy.

So anyway, yeah seemed it's good that it doesn't seem like he did anything i didn't look into it uh yeah this is literally others the this is the best outcome we could have had from the phrase jeff goldblum got me tuned if anything this is this is a relief this is great well i mean i the only news i saw from it is i clicked on jeff goldblum when he was trending and then all i saw were like gifts of like sassy black women being like like not pleased with what happened and i use that to construct my entire perception of what occurred this This is what they do. Yeah. They finger wagged and they were not a fan.

Not a fan. Yeah. Yeah. He said that Woody Allen deserves due process. I'm glad he's innocent just like Kevin Spacey. I was a little worried at first. Now you are all concerned that I was a rapist it turns out you were correct it's true you you try running the free world with that little bit of

puss you know a little bit of young puss what are you gonna do you know actually it was boy but i mean he came with me to the island multiple times that's on record is the record available it's not then he didn't have i didn't ever go to the island yeah i i'm pretty sure that he didn't do anything wrong kevin spacey's pretty innocent as far as i'm concerned and they should redo that season of house of cards so that now that show has already fallen off. You say that and it upsets me every time you do. That show has already

fallen off. That show was already falling off. Do you know anything about that show? It was already falling off. Kyle, University of Georgia is in the top four teams of the college football playoffs what nonsense yeehaw they shouldn't be people are saying that yeah i i guess i like i don't know i'm definitely like having will watch it i just i just watched

i read the news about it i don't watch the game so I'm not in authority. We're a top four defense. We're not a top four offense. It's nonsense that we're in there. I mean, just watch that Missouri game last week, and you can tell that's not a top four in the country. Was it 27 to zero? Yeah. It should. Again, that's not what a top four team does to a Missouri

with no starting quarterback and no starting fucking um um like their main receiver like they didn't have an offense already and and georgia like i said georgia has a top four defense not a top four offense 27 it was so many field goals it was so many field goals maybe it was four way too many that that's four that's four times they were stopped by Missouri. What are they going to do when they go against an actual fucking defense? It's a pitiful offense. It did not look good.

Fromm is good. Fromm is pretty fucking accurate. That's our quarterback. The receivers couldn't catch the ball. It didn't look good. They're going to get stomped in the playoffs if they play a top four fucking team because they don't belong there. They play a 11 team i can't remember who is it all okay auburn auburn the um all right i'm mixing up auburn and lsu yeah all right so we'll have a

chance to see if they belong there yeah lsu is probably ranked number one, if I had to guess, because they beat Alabama last week. Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah, and I believe Auburn is roughly 11th in the country, and I know that Georgia plays them this year, and they are a good team. I wouldn't be surprised if Auburn beats them. Georgia's a good team. They really are. I mean, we beat Florida. I mean, we've had other good losses. mean other good wins and that loss to south carolina south carolina always plays us really hard and makes a game of it no matter what the rankings are you can kind of throw the rankings out uh the window when they play but the offense has looked really bad all year in my opinion it hasn't it's looked good it just hasn't

looked great and top four is great you um you you root for georgia and i think i do too just because it's a little more interesting when one of us have a team in it sure you know yeah yeah so uh but yeah i was happy to see him in the top four and there's enough games left that uh they can prove they deserve they can prove themselves that's the thing about that's the thing about like i don't get stressed about losses and wins because like i want my team to be the best team. And if they lose, then they weren't the best team. So they didn't deserve to win. That's kind of how I look at it.

You know, if you, if you don't win, then you, you don't deserve to be there. So like, there's nothing to be upset about. You can lose once. Because then whichever team you beat in the championship clearly lost once also. Yeah. whichever team you beat in the championship clearly lost once also yeah um and and it's you know you often don't have unbeaten teams i mean i mean you'll have one unbeaten team but it's rare you got like two or three unbeaten teams that have had quality opponents you know there's going to be teams that have just like ridiculously easy easy schedules that'll go on who's there minnesota might you might hawaii i think had a a season like that several years ago where like maybe they um had like an undefeated season i think they

actually played us in a bowl game and we stomped on them um i could be wrong about that it's been like six years now but um minnesota i think is is undefeated and they beat maybe penn state or somebody like that like they beat a really high-ranked team, they probably are better than Georgia. Hmm. See, I don't know anything about football, so my opinion doesn't carry a lot of it. Yeah, I don't either. But I don't give that away so easily.

They beat Penn State. That's one good win. I want to say Georgia might have a top 10 win also. Or Florida. Okay. Anyway, so we'll see. We'll see. But it's neat that there's a team that's still alive.

Yeah, it's my favorite team. I mean, I was born in Athens. That's where the UGA is. That's always been the team that I sort of supported. I like them. I follow them. Would you rank them over the Braves for you? Oh, yeah.

The Braves are a real fucking shit show. And I prefer college athletics anyway because I feel like – it goes back to that thing I always talk about, about how professional sports, it's just a team of mercenaries who have nothing really to tie them to the area. Whereas, especially in college athletics college athletics like many many of the players picked georgia because they're from georgia you know that a lot of those guys could have gone to lsu or auburn or alabama or kansas or wherever the fuck they wanted but they were like

ah i get to play for the bulldogs you know i'm from jonesborough georgia or i'm from waycross georgia i always wanted to play for the bulldogs and and so that's it means something to them and so that's kind of what i look for in any kind of a team game that i'm gonna like that's why i like high school athletics you know it's like these guys mean it they really want to win it's everything they're not getting fucking paid to go out there yeah and they're cute oh cute. Oh, so tight. Yeah. I mean, supple is the word I would use. Girls high school volleyball. The greatest spectator sport on the planet.

Plus, where else do you see 13-year-old girls in tight clothes? I love when they... I mean, if they're 13, they must be pretty smart. Hey, just tell me when you guys are done talking about it. Doesn't a freshman enter at 13 and leave at 14? That sounds right to me.

That's when I enter. I don't know. I don't fucking know. I should remember this. You know, you should. How old are you? I have pedophilia. Those were the magic words.

I've had my fill of pedophilia for the evening now even as a raging pedophile who's also the president in this show even i find this distasteful distasteful yeah yeah well yeah i i do think kevin spacey did something but also his yeah he acted as the usual suspects verbal kent how are how am i supposed to be mad at kaiser so say kaiser so say he killed his own family rather than give them up and then Fondle a boy outside of a club. Wait. That was verbal camp. Tyson says they didn't do that. Kevin Spacey is a fucking American treasure.

God damn it. Why did he have to fuck with those young boys? The first time I saw that movie. And like. The fucking cop. Or whoever. The detective. Started turning around and seeing the like

mug and the clues and he's and all that i was like like it blew my mind that movie is so fucking good i love that when when you don't even realize they're like opening threads or dropping hints all movie long. And then like, he's, they show them, you put it together. Like, uh,

it's to me, the best part is when he's walking down the sidewalk and that limp slowly starts to straighten out and he starts getting like more of a chill, like cool guy walk. And he like put some shades on and he's fucking, he's, he's getting his fucking smokes out. And that dude steps out and lights his cigarette

for him ready to go sirs yes i believe we're done here it's just like what a badass what the the lines were i'm sure kyle does when kevin spacey's assistant the guy with the big ugly nose yeah is up in that office building and they're like holding them at gunpoint and he's like if you do this you'll regret it there's not a chance you're gonna escape my master his reach is too long like that kind of shit it was like god damn this is cool yeah yeah he like alphas a whole group of guys who are holding the gun to his head yeah it reminded me a little bit of the scene from rick at that rick and morty episode Morty episode where Morty's in front of the Council of Ricks or whatever. And he's like, if you think my Rick's dead, then he's alive.

And if you think this is over, then he's coming for you. And they're all like, oh, shit. Maybe he's right here. This doesn't sound good. Yeah. You need to check out the new episode. And send me a text whenever you finish the dinner scene. I was uncomfortable.

I want to see it extra now. I watched a movie. Did you see the Nick Cage movie where he can see two minutes into the future? Knowing. Is that what it's called? I think so. It's awful. What a terrible ability.

It's either called Knowing or Next. Next. It is called next yeah i uh i don't i i looked i didn't know what to watch i saw like 100 best movies on netflix and somehow that wrapped me into it you liking mandy so much made me think that maybe nick cage didn't just put out pure garbage it's it's it's 89.99 it's 99 garbage he's made like three good movies and i'm giving him conair because i like i like conair i'm taking mandy put the bunny back in the box i liked mandy i thought that was entertaining i love man i thought you got i'm about two-thirds it. I'm like, is this a prank? Did they, did they trick me into watching this awful,

awful movie? Like, like, I don't know. I'm trying to think of an equivalently horrible movie. That's difficult to sit through. Like Kyle, Gigi,

whatever that movie is. Giggly. I forget the name of it. Geely. Geely. Geely. Oh, wait till the end.

Kyle Geely's. It'll knock your socks off. And then like two-thirds through, like, what? He fucking pranked me. That's what I thought happened. I just re-watched Mandy. I loved it. I love that movie. I own it. It's so good.

I thought he was also good in Kick-Ass. Oh, I like Kick-Ass. A lot of people like to hate on that movie. I thought it was good. Kick-Ass 2, I didn't like. I'm pretty sure I didn't like that one either. I don't remember anything in it. But yeah, Kick-Ass 1 was funny.

But I thought the little girl carried it. I forget her name. Well, I didn't think she carried it. I thought that the McLovin, I think that's who it was. I thought he carried it. He was really, really funny. He was really good too. Nick Cage is one of the worst

actors. He overacts all the time. I'm pretty sure he has won an Oscar. That is criminal if he has. He won for Leaving Las Vegas. Yeah. He's only an actor in that industry because isn't his dad... Francis Ford Coppola.

Yeah, Francis Ford Coppola. He changed his last name to cage so people would i mean they gotta have some respect for that you know changing fucking that's like spielberg it's a little spielberg junior being like nah my name's peterson no that's dumb that's like me being like bill gates son and i still get to be an executive vice president of his company, but I'm like, no, I'm Taylor Stevenson. I feel like he might get the pros without the cons, right? Because people in the industry know that he's Nicholas Ford Coppola, but he doesn't have to act like he wrote anyone's coattails. He might get the best of both worlds out of that.

Perhaps, but again, I think he's made like three or four good movies, and Mandy just happens to be one of them. I thought it was super duper good. I love revenge movies anyway. I'm 5% wondering if you're keeping the prank alive. No, I love the movie. I rewatched it. It's a psychedelic revenge horror thriller. It's great. And I love that it's got psychedelic revenge thriller horror thriller it's great and i love that it's got the guy from fucking um that black guy who gives him the crossbow i think the cross was called the

reaper yeah morgan freeman that's not morgan freeman he shows up he's like oh you remember i can't get the reaper no i've got something for you and it's called the reaper yeah do you remember no no i don't remember that it's the same guy that was in fucking predator and the same guy who was also in uh yes no no i remember he was like he was like andy defrain and the predator walked up to me on a cold november morning and that's when i told him Jeffrey Epstein didn't care. No, I highly recommend Mandy to anybody who's down for a psychedelic revenge horror movie.

It's better if you're not sober. He's pranking you people. He's pranking you people. It's better if you're real good in stone. He's not pranking you. Mandy is a good movie. I enjoyed it. Yeah.

Unironically. Everybody I know loves it. I liked movie. I enjoyed it. Yeah. Everybody I know loves it. I liked Mandy. I thought it was good. I'm still not sure. For a while, had a thing where we're like, oh, we can never find shit on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon to watch that's not trash. It's 91%. Let's just start going through every Nick Cage movie. And so we've been watching so many nick cage movies and they are without exception bad yeah i agree with that he is so bad at acting yeah it's it's

on it's stunning it's i could act better than him and i would suck dick. Mandy is 91% from the critics on Rotten Tomatoes and 66% audience score. That's 4,000 audience members and 230 critics. I'm still open to the possibility that sometime in 2020 you'll both be like, yeah, Woody, we were fucking with you. No. I watched it

with five or six other guys. All those guys we played video video games the other night, essentially. And we were all like, that was amazing. We loved it. We all loved it. It was,

it's so good. It's, it's really good. It's cool to look at. It's, it's, it's a beautiful, the music is great.

The cinematography is amazing. I love the color escapes. I love how there's constantly shifting, depending on like, like at first you got all these greens, and then when we go into revenge mode, everything has this red tint to it. Then when he does the acid,

everything gets crazy psychedelic. Yeah, the tripping scenes, those are cool. When he forges his own fucking revenge axe battle weapon, and he's just like, yes. And we don't need to touch on where he learned black smithery. That was pretty retarded. No, that was badass. And he's fucking, he sticks that sharp end down the guy's throat. just like yes and we don't need to touch on where he learned black smithery pretty retarded no that was badass and he's fucking he sticks that sharp end down the guy's throat he kills that one guy

by crushing his fucking skull with his bare hands it gives him the claw mountain yeah but it's nick cage and like he's he's he's on that super acid that those demon bikers had, though. So he's souped up, Nick Cage. Oh, okay. He's Rick Cage. I stand corrected. If he's on super acid, then I'm sorry. He's on super acid and cocaine. Don't forget when he does all that coke.

Yeah. Yeah. And we all know cocaine is the coolest drug. That's why he was so productive that night. Yeah. That's why he's productive. He had a lot done. He killed a lot of people.

I'm hoping for another movie that comes out in theaters. I guess The Irishman is out. Is that out? No, not yet. It comes out this month, though. Like 10 days. I saw another movie. I can...

Yeah. Oh, go ahead. Sorry. Joaquin Phoenix was the star. He falls in love with an operating system. No? I need Kyle. Whoa. No, no uh no no it's called her yes it is called her did you watch it yes that was weird and shitty i didn't like it it was weird to me

that like he'd be like i have a new girlfriend and the guy's like oh we should hang out it's like yeah but she's an operating system so when like there was like no stigma around dating an operating system you should not date an os she oh and by the way this is it takes place in what seems like the future but they don't bang you over the head with how future it is there's no flying electric cars or anything uh it just seems like kind of nowish with cleaner landscapes and operating systems that have personalities. Yeah, I did not like that movie. If you're looking for a fantastic, over-the-top, great Joaquin Phoenix movie, Joker is what you need to watch. I think I might have liked her more.

She was so good. Her wasn't one note. Oh, you liked her more than Joker? Really? I think I'm in the minority. I can admit this. But I watched her and I don't know, just the evolving relationship that he had with the'm in the minority i can admit this but yeah i i watched her and i don't know just the evolving relationship that he had with the people in the show and the operating system

in the show and and i guess i'm gonna spoil her uh for those of you that might be interested but at the end he he realizes this operating system is deeply in love with 614 people at the same time and she's like amazing at multitasking and she's like that doesn't really lessen my feelings for you and i'm like how can it not how can you have 1614 boyfriends and value them all as much as you would if you had one it doesn't make sense to me yeah i i yeah the whole movie just made me feel weird like all the scenes where he's like sitting there in front of a computer telling an anecdote and she's like, oh, that's so funny.

And he's like laughing with the operating system. Like got deep fast. They were perfect for each other. And by the way, this OS isn't like a sex toy that's just destined to fall in love with you and hit it off. Most people don't have that relationship with their os but they these two were a perfect fit and i don't know it was fun to watch i liked it i liked it yeah i'll give it a six out of ten like i didn't love it but six and a half something like that i want to know asterios did you ever see joker movie

no because i don't like to watch murders and super violence. One of my favorite movies is Ponyo, which is a movie where a little kid meets a little fish creature and nothing happens. Jesus Christ. You have terrible taste. Life is a horror show. Movies should be nice oh dude like the the joker movie isn't nearly as brutal as people were saying not at all yeah i don't know what i'm sorry what was that sorry the fish movie you're talking about is that the one that won an oscar or something uh i think

probably won best picture that year uh i'll do it's a miyazaki film I'll look it up oh Miyazaki no questions asked you're thinking of a different movie where there's it's called Lady in the Water that's the one where that lady fucks that fish I never saw that movie what if someone died in it what is movie where lady fucks fish

he didn't it's the shape of water the shape of water the first result for movie where lady fucks fish the shape of water he's a fish man to be fair what movie does a girl go all the way with these are the suggested google feedback answers that's great uh yeah the the fish man looks a lot like the fish man from hellboy if you remember that and he looks ridiculous i didn't like hellboy i liked the original um a lot of people loved hellboy and it's really good at the time it i mean there wasn't like a it wasn't like in the middle of a giant comic book craze.

Every movie wasn't a fun... I think now if you look at Hellboy, you'd be like, it's very derivative. But it was kind of like an early movie in the genre where it's like, well, it's fun and it's jokey but he's got a troubled past and it's also kind of dark you know it's flashy and all that i didn't see the remake though i assume it's bad yeah yeah yeah i just it just didn't seem like one of those movies that needed to be remade it was just kind of like yeah okay another i think also the guy looks they made this hellboy look exactly like the other hellboy from 2004 so it's like what like you're not even changing anything new topic i guess you guys have anything no all right um yes no go ahead billionaires have been in the news lately i guess

there are a few democratic candidates who feel like billionaires shouldn't exist and uh i guess i see it on reddit you know reddit it seems there's i don't know i i would have argued in 2016 reddit had a heavy conservative bent where the donald was blowing up now it seems like it's dominated by liberals and i see uh lots of like anti-billionaire posts on there and i'm just like i saw someone describe how much a billion dollars was right he took a hundred thousand and then he he wrote that out then he took a billion and he wrote that out and you can see a billion has more zeros but they look like they're in the same stratosphere and then he made the like thousands of hundreds of thousands that it takes to be a billion and it it's like it's so much money oh yeah and i'm like

that's an area where i tend to almost agree with like the populist left of like, should someone be able to be worth $110 billion? Like, and especially if that someone owns Amazon is paying zero taxes, like, and using that money to circumvent taxes. Like, of course not a fucking course,

not all four of us paid more in taxes this year than Amazon.com did. As far as like... More than zero. Yes! We all paid our taxes. Yes. I got sad when I had to write my taxes check. You know, you get a

reward for reporting tax cheats. Oh, goddammit! That was satirical, you assholes on the internet jesus christ i pay so much in fucking taxes um yeah okay you will you will next year i promise i mean i think it's just it's like a symptom like if we could all if like we didn't if we didn't worry about like oh shit if i lose my job i also lose my health insurance and if i lose my job in a few months i'll be homeless like if we didn't all have to worry about like all that little shit then we wouldn't be on reddit all day like hitting the

pinata that is the concept of billionaires it's like there's a lot of anger out there and that's just kind of one of the ways it expresses itself. Wow. Yeah, I think you're right. That's what I think. I like the metaphors. I like the nicely done. Well, thank you very much, God damn it. I'm going to come to you for all my political opinions. I don't know what to make of this billionaire thing.

I'll tell you what to believe. I think a few months ago, I would have been like, of course you have billionaires. You have to richly reward people for doing the most stuff, right? Like say what you want about Jeff Bezos. He's made a giant difference in the way commerce happens. You know, say what you will about Bill Gates. He's made a giant difference in the way that technology evolved. The most productive people have the most money.

That's how this works out. But now I'm like, ah, is it too much? Is it like, it's hard to fathom how much a hundred billion dollars is yeah it's absolutely too much and and do they even care if if all the billionaires had their wealth cut in half just hypothetically would they all be fine like one they can still have anything they want two they'd still be stack ranked are they not just competing are they not running up the score at this arcade game of wealth at this point like i don't think you go from 50 billion to 100 billion for the extra money like there's something

else encouraging that right yeah there's also like a middle ground too because people will be like you could tax bill gates at a hundred billion dollars and he would still have seven billion dollars and it's like well assuming his entire wealth is liquid yes but it's not he's invested in so many companies and right shit that if he were to truly pull out all of his money from every market a lot of people would lose their jobs that is true like a lot of companies would fail but at the same time it's like it is ludicrous that people are able to accrue this level of wealth and not pay taxes on it that's just fucking insane yeah i mean honestly that's the issue it's not like how much money is it. It's the inequality that pisses people off.

You think about Jeff Bezos, a guy who in interviews is like, I've run out of things to spend my money on. I'm going to try to colonize Mars just for fun and put a picture of my dick up on Mars. And it's like you got guys passing out of heat. Yeah, I'm behind you. It's like you got guys passing out of heat exhaustion in these fucking warehouses. It's like you want to go to Mars.

Why don't you go to one of your warehouses? People are pissing in bottles and it's really hot in there. Very similar to what we'll be doing on Mars. We'll be pissing in pouches in our spacesuits and wiping the sweat off our heads. It's true. i well i i don't usually i'm not all bleeding heart like this right but it's like dude are you making too much do you need a hundred billion dollars when the guys you're my father had a small business and um his pension it wasn't a pension plan it was a retirement plan but it was really generous

like better than any other i had seen throughout my entire career even up to now i don't know just super generous i think it was 15 there was no matching he just gave you another 15 right because that's what a pension was right like you didn't put money and then 401k's kept yeah exactly but unlike the pension you could leave and keep it you know like like you know and invested quickly i think invested immediately like daily yes there was that's how pensions used to work i don't think so i think i think you're wrong about that you had to stay so long to get your pension like you know well you couldn't work there for two years and leave with your pension that's not how pensions worked right well you could you could leave with like a small like your pension would grow based on your service. But like, you know, I had a, I had a buddy who left,

uh, who left her job at like two years and 51 weeks and she lost the vest. You know what I mean? But again, obviously, uh, there's probably a lot of kids listening to that. Don't care about what a vest is like.

Um, I, I, again, I think it's the kind of thing where it's like, look, make all the fucking money you want. Just take care of your people.

So like the wall, like the wall. Oh sure. Sorry, buddy. Yeah. So I asked him about it and he's like well you know we do well and the people that work here like they should do well too like it was kind of a paternal like taking care of the guys that work there jeff bezos could use a little of that you know like they're they're literally people dying in his warehouses i don't know maybe when you've got that many employees people are going to die on the job. You know, whatever.

Even good jobs, right? If the company you work for had a million people working there, some would die. Not if they're 31 years old from heat exhaustion. Okay, all right. I hear you, right? I've got subscribers who die. There's a million of them.

There must be some dead ones in there, right? And they're subscribers I kill for sport every day. But he's done too much there like like you could pay him better you could make it so that it's you know 20 grand a year is hard to live on and these guys are making 10 bucks an hour which is 20 grand a year like yeah couldn't he just be worth a little less and pay the people who are earning all this money a little more it seems like there's room in there that doesn't have to be psycho it's at some point you're like maybe he's not a good guy if the

people working for him suffer that much yeah no i'm on board with you on pretty much all of that like it's fucking ridiculous that people can be this rich not pay their fair share and i know that's a fucking who their fair share thing and it's like no it doesn't have to become some right versus left argument these people are using loopholes and using relationships with high you know status politicians in order to circumvent what they actually should pay like it's it's beyond ridiculous what they get away with capital gains tax it's a big one for me that i i don't understand why if you work for your money, you're taxed at a high rate. And you can earn a lot, right?

There are heart surgeons and professional basketball players and all sorts of guys who pay a high tax rate because it's earned money. But if your money earns money, if you come from old money, it's taxed at half the rate. Why is that right? That you are a million percent on the money right there. Like I personally, I'm in favor of drastically reducing income tax. So you help people who are earning their money in the middle class and really ratcheting up capital gains tax. I might be the conservative one in this part of the conversation. What if we just taxed all income the same, right?

Flat tax? No, I'm talking about capital gains tax and income tax, ordinary income tax. Being like, let's just not care how you made it. I don't care if you made it gambling, working, investing, whatever. Just tax it at the same rate. It doesn't matter how it got to you because it seems like oh old money they barely pay taxes it's new money that pays all the taxes and i'm like is that because old money made the rules why is that right oh yeah well it's because for decades the entire

burden of the tax structure has been handled oh oh has been handled by the middle class. Because people who are rich enough find ways around it. And it's the average fella who's paying most of this shit. I really dislike that about it. That fucking plumbers are having to pay higher tax rates so that some trust fund kid

Like a Kennedy, right? Some fucking Kennedy can have a little bit lower tax rate or some rothschild or whatever like it's absurd whatever old money name that you can think of uh rockefeller like they pay low taxes because they're not earning their money through their deeds they're earning money by their money growing and if it's your money growing it's a really low tax rate and i don't know it doesn't even apply to your retirement right your retirement when you eventually take it out will be ordinary income even though it grew like a

rich person's money did that unless you invested it outside of retirement vehicle it's taxed like ordinary income and i'm just like why is any of like it seems unfair and i don't normally go with this like the system's out to get you like i don't usually adopt the systems out to get you i think that there's opportunity there but my goodness this aspect of the system seems out to get you it seems like it if we picked this year's olympic winners based on their father's athletic ability we wouldn't pick the best people our income mobility is a little fucked up because we keep the rich rich with weird tax rates just for money growth and higher tax rates for

income growth and that it's wrong yeah this topic went better than I thought it would on the same page definitely yeah okay I'll pretend to disagree so we can no no no

billionaires should be their job creators. There's some reward. Don't take my billions. Take those people's money. Yeah, I don't know. Crazy. But not the white ones. Well, absolutely not.

Okay. I don't even know what you said um taylor how's lifting going for you great really you back in the swing of it i'm on like every like ever since like the day i could start lifting again after i fucked my finger up with smashing it with the tree while i was doing doing yard stuff like i've been loving it i've been doing super super good sticking with my regimen um like my my shoulder was not feeling great for a while and so i like lowered a bunch of my my shoulder related lifts and now i i'm feeling myself getting back back up to it and so i'm i'm super pleased with that so cool when i'm really enjoying lifting and i and i've said i'll fast forward i wake up monday tuesday wednesday usually not thursday i i don't lift thursday

morning so i'm not exhausted for this recording. And then Friday and either Saturday or Sunday, I'll lift as well. And I just pop the fucking caffeine pill first thing when I wake up in the morning. And then 12, 13 minutes later, I'm wired, ready to go. And so yeah, it's going super, super well. Something that I'm getting a lot of positive results from that I don't find in a ton of workout because you know how it is, buddy. You can hop on bodybuilding.com and then you can go to their workout regimens page and it'll kind of spell something out for you. Something that I've included on every single one of my workouts at the very end that they don't include in a lot of those are farmer's carries. And I've been a farmers carry farmers walk apologist for so long if you're not doing farmers walks at the end of your workout

you're missing out nothing is going to blast your forearms and hit your whole body the way farmers walks do ignore him he's sponsored by big farmer it's all my big farmer's walk. It really is just the alt. If you don't know what that is, a stereo. I don't. Yeah. So a farmer's walk is you just grab two. I have farmer's walk handles that you load on with plates and you make it

like, it could be kettlebells or whatever. It could be whatever. Okay. For mine, they're like, it's just like a barbell where you slide the plates on and you have the weight and whatnot and you just grab two things that are incredibly heavy and you walk as far as you can while holding them and gripping it works your

forearms to fuck holding it up and keeping your shoulders back is working your chest it's working part a little bit of your chest working your entire arm it's working part a little bit of your chest working your entire arm it's even working a little bit of traps and your entire lower body because you're walking around but you walk in a drop friendly environment i do i walk in my basement i walk around my parallel would be walking around the pool table in the game of thrones room like i don't want to drop anything there yeah see you don't have the unfinished area so it's not as good for you also i have the benefit of all the plates that i bought when i did like stock up my gym titan fitness had a huge blowout sale on rubber plates and so i just loaded up are they all the

same size uh yeah yeah that's the benefit of bumper plates i wish i had that the 10 pound plate is that wide the 45 ones this wide you might have done it anyway i think i told you that i was like oh one of my purchasing mistakes my like my 45 is this big my 25 is this big and yeah and uh i wish that i had the plates like you but you also don't want to like start over like all your plates like no they're just wait like what's my problem aesthetics exactly i don't know i just wish i had anything woody you doing the farmer's walks knowing that dropping them would ruin your floor that's motivation and so anybody out there fitness fitness boys out there farmers walks including my own pitch super good gymnast rings gym rings are i love calisthenics now yeah i'm all about if you do

push-ups right i do 20 push-ups i feel like i hardly even hit my chest right you know i usually do sets of 20 on the stream um but 20 push-up i don't know if i can even do 20 on rings i do like 15 and then it drops down to 10s because it's just it's so much harder on rings and they're kind of declined too um i do my pull-ups on rings i do core work where like i do like a you know that there's a machine where you sort of put your forearms on it and you lift your knees up yeah that's bitch work do it on rings and pull your knees up it's fucking exhausting work do it on rings and pull your knees up it's fucking exhausting and i aspire to get to l sits but they're hard in general and i think they're extra hard for me because my legs are heavy like you're doing knee raises with the rings

yes good for you man that's a tough thing to fucking do because you have no stability yeah at all you're having to use every single core stabilizing muscle i know yeah rings like and all the do you have rings too i i don't have rings i don't have like the the area that i guess i do i might get i think you could hang it from your joists maybe i don't know yeah i probably could okay but i'm also fat so i might tear them right off and so like these are the ultimate like literally there was a thread on some bodybuilding forum where it was like you can only have one piece of equipment to maintain your body what do you get and so many of these jacked ass dudes were like olympic rings really because i can pull up with them can do the, like you're talking about doing the pushups with them where you're bringing it forward.

That is so much harder than people realize. It is incredibly hard. Every single stabilizing muscle in your chest, even some core, it's all working. And so, yeah, that's really impressive that you're doing leg and knee raises with a static arm holding down those i bet you could do it i don't it's not that hard also i just mean it's tough like yeah and uh something about the rings are just like ready all the time like on non-workout days i'll go in and bust like eight of those or something like that usually whichever like position the ring is in is the exercise.

I'll be like, you know what? I could do 12. This thing behind me, like I do pull-ups almost every time I walk by it now. Good. So that's, I don't know. I feel good. I can't do, I'm doing zero legs because I hurt my ankle and I'm not like clear to, but it doesn't hurt anymore.

So I think I'm just a few days away from doing legs again. Nice. I want to run. That's my thing. I from doing legs again nice i want to run that's my thing i keep talking about this i want to run a mile a day for 30 days and just see what it does like i think a thing will happen i don't know get decent cardio but i'm definitely not cleared to run so we'll see when maybe in december how about you asterios you're not you're not drinking anymore you're not smoking pot anymore? Are you working out or anything? Unfortunately, no.

I'm sober because of a content bet. I have been doing Weight Watchers since February, and I really like it. How does it work? It's point-based, right? Yeah. I don't know for me when i hear like i have 2000 of something like oh you have 2000 calories a day i'm like oh shit that's a lot of calories i could go crazy a snickers bar is only 200 i could have 20 stickers and it's like like the nice thing about

weight watchers you have like 20 points or 25 points or 30 points and a snickers bar is like 11 points so it's like well that snickers bar is half of what you can eat in the day and it's like you can eat that snickers bar but that might be it so it like it's this weird thing where it it like weights food not in not even in terms of like its caloric value or its sugar content, but rather by how addictive it is. Because if you eat a Snickers bar, you're probably going to eat five more Snickers bars. But grilled chicken has zero points. And zero addictive value. Yes, exactly.

Because the idea is that it's like, look, you're probably not going to sit there and eat 20 grilled chickens. Like, you're probably not going to sit there and eat 20 grilled chickens like you're not like fruit has zero points because they're like well look if you're gonna overeat because you're a food addict you might as well overeat apples like yeah bananas have calories in them but it's like at least you're not eating ice cream you big fat monster and so like so like that's like that's kind of the benefit of it is that it's it's it's less of a nutrition program and it's like more of like and they don't advertise it as such it is secretly but clearly an addiction management program that's interesting i won't go too long about this but sometimes i talk about how talk about it finance is not just a math problem right sometimes finance like there's emotional part to it too like i might if you were to tell me hey

woody should i do an automatic deduction savings plan that returns eight percent or one that requires me to manually take money out of my stuff for nine percent i think man i bet five years from now the eight percent one you'll end up with more cash. Because finance is not just a math problem. There's an emotional component to it, too. This Weight Watchers thing, it seems like a parallel to that. They're not just counting calories, which might be the most effective way to monitor intake. But they wrap an emotional part around it that is probably at least as important

when we're talking about food oh my god i mean the reason i overeat is that i'm fucking stressed like or i'm anxious or i'm looking to avoid something and so if i'm going to binge like they have a big list of foods that are zero points like you know most vegetables fishes and chickens like all this stuff fruits it's like it's zero points because it's like well we know you're like you know it's like we know you're eating way too much for a reason can we get you to eat way too much of something else yeah we already know you're a fat fuck let's give you the right thing to eat oh are you gonna eat 11 bananas i don't think so idiot like you're gonna have one and be like this isn't like candy yes exactly and then like and you've

eaten the banana and you're kind of like ah this sucks yeah eating sucks i guess all right i'll go do something else that's interesting how the hell's your progress been um i look i've pretty quickly lost 25 pounds uh they sent me this little gold medal for losing 25 pounds nice wow dude that's gay it's very gay and um and since then like i've kind of been on and off it. My mom, though, has lost, like, 35 pounds. I got her into it because it has an app where you can, like, zap barcodes and it tells you how many points something are. And my mom is, like, so fucking into gadgets. I was like, I bet my mom will like this Weight Watchers shit because of this app. And I was fucking right.

will like this Weight Watchers shit because of this app. And I was fucking right. And thank God, because it's like my mom's cholesterol was so high that it was turning the area around her eye blue. Like, that's how, I don't know why that, I don't know why high cholesterol does that. I just know it does that. Yes, because it did it to my mom and my mom made a joke. Spice from the movie Dune?

Well, she's incredibly good at navigating the bleed between worlds, yes. Holy shit. Yeah. She could have been a master navigator. Yeah, I mean, you know, she considered joining the, you know, she considered getting a Gamja bar and joining the space witches. It sounds like you ruined her career with this Weight Watchers bullshit. Yeah.

Your mom's really cool. It sounds like you're more into D this weight watchers bullshit yeah your mom's really cool it sounds like you're more into dune than i am and i'm into that i do like dune i've read so many of those books you could be a space guild navigator yourself it sounds like i'm excited for the is it a new show that's coming out or a new movie i i you know i i really don't follow like if someone tells me it's good, then I'll go see it. I'm a huge Star Wars fan, but it's kind of like there's so much shit to do. I'm going to watch The Mandalorian now because you guys told me that there was cool shit in it. I didn't see Rogue One until like three weeks after because it's like, ah, people said it's good.

So I don't know much about dune actually the new dune yeah i know they're either coming out with a new movie or a new series right i'm not sure which it is i i heard both but that it one of the other is a lie yeah so uh yeah i think that's a really cool uh universe to explore there's so much material there and i actually like the fucking movie well you just have to know that it's insane and like if you go in as if you go to david lynch's dune going like this is gonna be crazy and make no sense let's have a good time with it like then it's great you got sting in that thing he's wearing and and you've got patrick stewart a little bit of hair yep yeah the slow blade kills it's fucking great and karmic lachlan

rules it's like timeline on the next one oh let me google this again a couple years like it's soon i was hoping it was like 2020 though like it might be like like it's it's soon ish ah here we go it's uh yeah december 18th 2020 warner brothers is putting it out dennis villanueva i don't know who he is it's 2020 and still more than a year away i'm a little disappointed yeah yeah i'm into it though i i really i like the dune movie i saw it as a kid and i the horrible special effects didn't bother me and the cheesy 80s haircuts didn't either. I like it. I fucking like it. Oh, it's being directed by the Blade Runner

2049 guy. I still haven't seen that. Yeah, me neither, but everybody says it's good. I want to see that giant naked lady, but I still haven't seen it. I'm waiting till a time in the future when I'm allowed to smoke marijuana again to watch it while I'm high. I feel like I need to be stoned to watch Blade Runner

2049. I hope it's on a nice little Colorado vacation where I can be high with you. A couple years, something like that year. Maybe just one year, maybe two years. One or the other. I hope it's one. I do too. Yeah.

Went and took my drug test today. Oh yeah? Yeah. Good time. what's the day you passed you have to go far like is it is it past 20 minutes i call this number every day if they say my number every day yeah and not weekends in a certain radius within georgia yeah i call the number every day except for weekends if they read out the number that corresponds to my person you know let's just say it's three three three it's not um then i know that i need to go in and and uh pee that day how long does that take to call um like it's real fast like it's an automated thing so like like i can call it at any point and it's just like a lady

like a snow day where there's a list of like 130 schools and you're just like, Kyle's just there. No, there are. Come on, come on. No, that's exactly how it works. They go from like the number one to the number 1000. And some days it's, they're like, the numbers are one, two, four. And I and i'm like god damn this is a busy day eight i'm 27 29 i'm like well they're definitely gonna say my number all these numbers are so close and

sure enough like you know they'll call my number um but but my number is in the low 200s or so. So, you know, it's not so bad. My number used to be 766. So I'd have to sit through like three minutes of numbers sometimes. And sometimes I'd do it while I was driving. I'd just put the phone on speaker and I'd zone out. You know how when you're driving, you get like highway hypnosis. And all of a sudden I hear, and those are the numbers for today. And I'm like, wait, wait, I zoned out somewhere in the 500s.

Fuck, I got to call again. Because, you know, if I mess up. They need a website. That'd be so nice. If you could just look at that page in the morning, scan for your number and put them in order. I guess. I don't know. They should give you a schedule like a couple of months in advance.

So if you want to do drugs... That's how the UFC used to do it. Yes, exactly. Or like Triple H would go like, we're going to test you in a few weeks. You might want to take care of some business. At least the people at the drug testing place are real cool.

They know me. They've known me for a long time now. Treat you with respect? Oh, yeah. Oh, real, real cool. You know, they, they, they know me, they've known me for a long time now. Um, you know, treat you with respect. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, for sure. Uh, like, like nobody follows me in and like looks at my dick or anything. He's just like, gives me a cup and he, you know, I go in the bathroom. He's like, give me a cup of your finest. You know, he's always got piss jokes and uh, and, and, you know, I go, I go pee and bring him a cup of piss and And, you know, that's our interaction with one another.

Do you have to, like, leave the door open and go in there? I leave the doors open behind me. And he's, like, you know, he's not watching or not even, like, looking over my shoulder. He's just back there behind me, like, doing, like, filling out my name on some paperwork. Do you think if you... If I wanted to cheat, could I? If someone was properly motivated, could they bring in a cup of...

Yeah, you totally cheat. Yeah, you totally... I wouldn't do that, obviously. I would just be too afraid. The risk reward's not there, but you totally could. There's no ROI on that investment. You totally could. Watch, they're going to be like, well, someone said we need you to be looking at your pecker.

Nice cock, by the way. Yep, it's real all right. Man, after I call your local precinct, they're definitely going to do that. That is real. That's the real thing you've got. Get off of me! Get off of me! I can tell it's real because it grows when I do this.

I'm a fag! We have to feel you get at least a little hard so we know it's real i want so much blue too i can't help it no kyle just let it happen man they're gonna do it regardless are there any outros no outros or at least i wasn't notified of any so i won't take any blame but um but yeah uh sirius i understand that you have a podcast of your own uh what's it called again i'm loud as fuck or something like that that's very close uh it's called the loudest podcast and it's me and my co-host we uh are two weirdos but we like we we look through incredibly normie bullshit. For one episode, we watched every episode of The Big Bang Theory, all 260 episodes.

We'll talk about Survivor or CBS's – now I'm realizing a lot of CBS programs. But it's kind of like two weirdos who get into normcore bullshit cool and you can hear it on spotify or it's on youtube or itunes just search for the loudest podcast nice okay sounds good man thank you thanks for coming on thanks for having me guys it was a lot of fun i appreciate always pka465