Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #467

Episode Date: December 6, 2019

In this week's PKA, it's just the boys and they review some funny videos, one from an interesting man named "I'm Your Worst Enemy", Brett Farve's private pics being released and the guys revisit some survival trip talks when Woody brings up just how much he loves hairy women. Because it's PKA, that's how we roll.

pka episode 467 just us boys it's been yeah thanksgiving episode a couple sponsors tonight just to just to jump in blue chew and harry's razors we'll get to them later on the show of course yeah i think we should start what are the top 30 things you're thankful for alphabetically off the top of my head um i'm thankful for you gentlemen. It's nice to have such kind, intelligent coworkers who are so much fun to work with all the time. It's always a pleasure to come in here and see you guys. I'm thankful for our fans who are so committed, so into this show. I see that when I run into them and their gamer tags

and their Steam IDs and stuff like are about the show. They're very meta. I'm thankful for my 2080 TI, which allows me to get lots and lots of frames in Tarkov right now. I'm super happy about that. That's awesome. 27 to go. Yeah. No, fully, fully reciprocated.

It is awesome being able to have, callingworkers is so fucking funny to me about this every now and then these guys i work with every now and then i'll mention like oh i work tonight and they're like did you get a job no i just say that yeah it makes me feel better about the streaming thing if i'm like babe no i can't hang out and snuggle on the couch i have to go work and she's like you're just gonna go tell retard jokes to people on the stream. It's like, babe, whatever's paying the bills is work, right? It's true. Yeah, very blessed. We're all very blessed. I don't like blessed because that makes it sound like there's some higher power who bestowed something

upon us. I prefer fortunate. Yeah, fortunate. I mean, I just never think of blessed as like, oh, bless this man. I think of it as like the old woman sincere way of saying it. Like, honey, you are just so blessed. The natural outcome of when you have this much talent and hard work, this is what happens every time. The river flows downhill, boys. All right? All right?

You can't stop it. You can't stop it. I'm Whitewater Rapids of success, goddammit. What am I going to do? Stand in my way? You'll get pummeled. Good luck with that. You'll get sucked into the undertow, loser.

So the Democrats are apparently waging a war on Thanksgiving now. Gobble, gobble, those sons of bitches. Assholes. What are they wanting to do? What are you telling me? What are they doing? They want to say Merry Thanksgiving. Igiving if i have the story right fox news made up out of whole cloth the democrats want to get rid of that or change the name of thanksgiving or something trump repeated it and

now fox news is putting out the news that fox or that trump is saying that the democrats want to get rid of thanksgiving they want to call it Native American Eradication Day, from what I'm hearing. Friendsgiving. Okay, wait, wait. I have a new stance. I actually like this. I'm joining the left on this. I think they're on top of something there.

So the media did the tweet thing where BuzzFeed sees three people talking about something on Twitter, and it gets five likes, and they go, people are saying, and then people start talking about it, and it's like, no, we didn't just make the news for clicks definitely not yeah that's so dumb uh but uh yeah what do they what do they actually did anybody say anything about thanksgiving no no holidays i've never heard somebody be like you know what holiday fucking sucks that one where you're kind to people and you're thankful for their involvement in your lives fuck that one. Like, why?

I don't know that it's actually based on anything. It started with the five saying it and then Trump said it. And then when Trump said it, now it is actually news. So the five said it again. And I don't know. Is that a Fox show? Yeah. Yeah.

It's a morning Fox show. It's really popular. I'm surprised. You're probably working. I've never watched Fox. Maybe. I'm out and about. Yeah. you need to work less and i've like every time i'm at my grandparents house or i'm at the airport okay and i'm like seeing fox or cnn i'm like how on earth is anybody watching this number

one boring number two the commercials oh my god i'm spoiled upon streaming like it it's unbelievable i watch it on episodes of tv and yeah you see episodes of tv oh is there not commercials on youtube or something that's exactly it okay yeah i have youtube so with your iphone can you not listen to music with the window minimized or what unless you you have YouTube Red. Right. Yeah, with YouTube Red, you could watch. They might call it YouTube Premium now. I'm not sure. Their branding is tricky.

But like you could say put on PKA and then switch over to your GPS app and it will keep playing in the background. But you need the premium for that. Yeah. Android can't do that either. But I'm not paying for YouTube Red. There was a period where... Oh, I got Disney Plus. Oh, before we transition.

There was a period where even with ad block, you had to wait with a black screen for the period of the ad. So it was like 30 seconds of black screen and you don't know why. So that was when I bought YouTube Red. I don't know if it's fixed now, but it seemed like because we do this show,

I was like, I should pay to not have ads because we watch videos on the show anyway you got disney plus oh i was just meaning that like disney plus i wish i had considered how much this app would mean my girlfriend's going to pressure me into watching old children's movies constantly and it's like no longer is it like because i i get into tv shows the way kyle gets into video games although not as severe because i don't have as much time where i'll like re-watch all of seinfeld and so for a month the only thing on my television is seinfeld and then cold turkey as soon as it's over. Now it's always sunny. Don't watch anything else but that. Now I'm not able to go into my groove,

my tism groove of having to watch the entire series. And she's like, let's watch Up, which first of all, sad as fuck. Incredibly sad. So sad. I cried. I was happy. I was almost teared up.

Probably. It ends. Well, it's like a bittersweet kind of ending. Yeah. Because you know the- That bitch ain't coming back. Yeah, that bitch ain't coming back. But the dogs with the collars that let him talk, that part was funny.

It's actually a good movie. I liked that one. Have you seen the prequel short about that dog and how he came to be the old man's dog? Oh, no, I didn't. I have delved deep into Disney+. Like the Pixar clips they used to do in front of movies yeah they're short we um yeah whenever we rate movies i often grade very highly their ability to make me feel something right something good is great but something bad

is still impressive up is a good movie in my you know based on my ranking system it is good because there's highs and lows there that make you feel happy and sad. Oh yeah. The first like 10 minutes of that movie, the first time I saw it like 10 years ago, literally with my high school girlfriend at her behest, she was like, we have to watch this. And I just remember,

I didn't remember all like the intricacies when I saw it. Cause it was like fucking 10 years ago. But I remember even back then being like, why would I want to watch this? I'm sad i just saw the little square headed boy meet his nerdy girl and they're having a bunch of fun and talking about all the adventures they're gonna have and then the shows i'm getting older and they can't have kids they just gloss right over that bit of sadness and then she dies and he's like so they can't kyle you're saying they're blessed they're blessed?

They're fortunate. I just realized I have you guys in the wrong spots, but that's okay. Oh, it doesn't matter? It does not matter. It doesn't matter at all, does it, Taylor? No, not a bit. But you're in Kyle's spot talking about how people can't have kids is a bad thing. And I'm like, oh, this is all wrong. You need to go to Taylor's spot.

Yeah. So anyway, Disney Plus. I'm trying to think of other movies because like Toy Story, that always got me. Like that's an emotional movie as well. I liked that a lot. That's not nearly as sad. Everybody lives in Toy Story except for maybe like that bad kid

gets scared. And up you start off with an old human woman dying. Maybe it's not Toy Story 1. Which is the one where there's the pink bear? Is it 3? He's trying to fuck with them. I think it's 3. That one was sad.

That has the incinerator scene. Yeah, they're about to do the incinerator. Dude, the incinerator scene. I'm like, this is a hopeless situation. Does this movie end this way? Have you seen the edit where it does? Yes, and it's amazing. It's so good.

I'm glad that you saw it. Yeah, for people who don't know, this guy gives his parents Toy Story 3 on a DVD for Christmas or something like that, right? The director's cut. And he ends the movie right where the incinerator thing happens. But he's smart about it because he puts the credits after it. So sure enough, all the toys are in the trash. They get sucked into the incinerator. And there's no hope.

If you see it, it really, really feels like there's no hope. Even though intellectually. They're hugging each other and accepting their fate yes yeah it's sad and then the credits roll and the mom is like what how can this be this is horrible and they let it go like for till tomorrow the next day neighbor came over he's like that's not how it ends. That's top-tier trolling. That's great.

I can't believe they made the movie an hour and seven minutes long. It's out of character for them. I guess there's no Toy Story 4 unless it takes place in hell. Right? What do you mean? To escape hell. To savey from a

possession i don't know is he in fucking the college at that point or something yes yeah and he's been gone that point in toy story 3 he was in that is when he went to college yeah that that's why they they toy story 3 was happening like that. Right. I have a video. I have a very perturbed gentleman here. Oh, is this, uh, my name is your worst enemy? This is my name is your worst enemy.

Okay. I haven't watched it yet. I just took it from Chiz's clip suggestion. Yeah. We compiled during the week and this was one of my favorites. Oh, what? Viewing. we compiled during the week and this was one of my favorites. Woody will have some good input on this. He'll, I want to know from Woody,

like, is this common surfer behavior? Is this justifiable surfer behavior? I'm ready. guys ready yes ready set play come on fuck with me don't hit me huh what are you gonna do what are you gonna do huh put it on tape surfer against a queer huh is that what you're gonna do tough guy you want to be a tough guy you're not so tough right now all the cops you're not so tough are you small guy you're sure you're not following the law tiny little man vehicle vehicle code 21 760 21 760 3c thank you so fucking good if there wasn't any new witnesses you know what I do to you i pull trump on you what's your name huh my name is your

worst enemy my name is your worst enemy you want to i'm your huckleberry i'm your huckleberry you sure little punk this guy's a credit to the surfing community this town thinking i hope he invites him to wrestle shortly you own this lane look at the bike lane is on this it's called shero in the middle of the street shero i get shero i get that entire lane on me like this you came around my way i didn't lock my way i honked my horn because you were way over in our lane no that's my lane no it's not it's shero look at the law look at the law watching Look at the law. I'll be watching you. You're lucky today, buddy. You're lucky today. What's your name? Huh? My name is your worst enemy.

You fucking short little fucking faggot. Whoa. That was the only half of the movie. I'm just looking at you. I'm not coming after you. No, you're not because you're afraid, aren't you? You're a pussy. That's why. I think you're a tough guy and you're a fucking stupid.

That guy's just Bagel Boss with better genetics. Right? And you don't want to fuck with a guy like genetics. He's lucky he's big. You own the road? I don't own the road, but you're the one that fucking got me in the way. See that sign right there? That's Shero. See that? See that? Shero. Huh? Shero. See that symbol right there? 6-R see that in the middle of the see that shero huh shero

see that symbol right there six r u a two two three see this you're a dead man walking you come on to my land okay you're a dead man it's his land in the street six r u a two two three six r u a two two three four to escape there you got it you come out here onto 6 RUA 223 6 RUA 223 Ford Escape There you got it You come out here onto my land and threaten my driving ability I'm gonna fuck you up You little weak man Honestly

I was totally against the weird toothed guy The big one And then as soon as he was like You were all over the road Riding your fucking bike I'm like, you were all over the road riding your fucking bike. I'm like, you're winning me over, friend. I'm kidding. Then he starts quoting movies.

And I'm like, yeah, I'm your Huckleberry. Yeah, you might be his Huckleberry. I like you. He wants to fight. He's a weird tooth surfer. These are my people. I think we should be on his team. I'm on his team.

I'm 100% sure he's wrong, though. Yes, I know. The little guy is... Here, I'll put it on screen. There's like a picture of a bike where he was riding his bike. Yeah. The problem is, like, I want to be

on the crazy guy's team, but he's clearly wrong. He's 100% wrong about it, but I's clearly wrong yeah he's 100 wrong about it so wrong i understand the frustration there's like a woodland kind of like wavy road near me and it's like two land road and bikers will be on it and it's like god i hope so much one of the many deer from around here sprint into you and grievously injure you so much so much and people like from europe will be like i remember like i i made a video about this on youtube and i thought it was the most like you know banal kind of comment where i'm like dude

fuck bikers on the road they suck like on these two-lane road things and i got so many people like well here stupid American here in Denmark. Actually, it's much more efficient to use a bicycle instead. And it's like, dude, you live in a country, the size of my neighborhood.

Of course, of course it is here is so sprawling and big. You're a fucking asshole. Most of the time, if you're riding a bike, we need an environmental study in a car lane. If you're not in a bike lane, get the fucking road are we sure that like in terms of damage to the environment the amount of energy and pollution that comes from petrol compared to that of like

george foreman chicken and vegetables and couscous right for all i know that takes a lot to power me to power a bike, could be rough on the environment too. I think these are strong points. What if they were riding a horse instead of a bicycle? How would you feel then? It would be novel, so I wouldn't mind as much. Exactly, right?

When I'm up north, like in Amish country, and I see one of those buggies, I'm like, let's take our time too. Look how happy those fuckers are. The girl's crying, though. They do all look sad and downtrodden. Her father discovered her missing hymen, and now she's headed to the gallows in the middle of town. I don't think they're as hardcore as they're made out to be.

They do have that whole thing where they're like, all right, you guys are 15. You go out into the regular people world and see how things go for you i watched a great documentary documentary about that once it's hilarious it was accurate or was it like um well it was like i think it was not well it followed like a bunch of people um uh who were doing it you know they were they were like embedded with the amish and uh these And this guy had went out. And he was living with a couple of other Amish rejects. Or whatever you want to call them.

Escapees. In this RV. And he had a PlayStation 2. And he was loving it. He loved PlayStation 2. He also loved meth though. I'm very suspicious of any, like, homespring of documentary.

I think it's a neat idea for a show. I also think it's just less realistic than almost any other premise I can come up with. I mean, they're definitely going to be punching up the amount of drugs and sex they do on their time off, for sure, because otherwise, you know, I assume most of them

aren't going that hog wild but they can't follow someone be kind of you know naughty you have to go this kid had this kid owed a drug dealer and the drug dealer was after him so he had to go back to the amish house that he was from so he had snuck his playstation 2 and a car battery and he was somehow making that work the playstation 2 in secret it was great he's yelling at a donkey to keep walking outside mandy mandy keep going how how did he do that did they cover like low-grade electrical engineering in his home school i just i just don't see it i i agree with you, Woody, that it's totally punched up because apparently like 95 or higher percent of those people

go back to live as Amish. And so clearly they're not all going crazy with meth. And you don't take an Amish person, drop them in Vegas, and get a good show. They'll probably go to the bookstore and hang out in their own hotel or something. It's called Devil's Playground. Devil's Playground. Devil's Playground.

Yeah, it won the 2001 Sony DV Cam Fest, the documentary category overall grand prize. The Sony DVD Cam Fest in the documentary category? Absolutely. The jury special mention in documentary category in 2002, okay? The awards are too long to...

Well, I could read both of them, but I won't. Man, if you think I'm not going to check this out now, you got another thing coming. The cover of it is awesome. I'm about to show it to everyone. There's this chick

lighting up a cigarette with her Amish little cap on. Yeah. Pretty cool. I would think that cigarettes would be allowed by the Amish, where you'd have to roll your own. But as long as you grow your own tobacco, right?

Yeah, I feel like they'd be like, okay, all right, none of this filter stuff. We're smoking it Band of Brothers style. Bastogne, hiding in a cold pit style, which is the coolest way to smoke a cig after you've just been bombed by the Nazis and you survived. I bet they do enjoy their lives, though. I bet those are some of the happiest people. Oh, they are.

Definitely. Living in that little community. Everybody's super friendly. You don't know any better, I guess. You know, you don't have any of the modern world issues that everybody else has. What do they do when they get sick? Do you think like if you get like colon cancer and you're amish like do they just pray about it or do they send you into the real world to like what do they do yeah i feel like at

some point they got to be like babe we know fucking wheatgrass isn't going to solve this let's go to a doctor you know i've been putting leeches all over myself nothing's working i saw a documentary once and they were making shingles you You know how the Amish makes shingles? Yeah. They keep sawing the end of a log off into thin wafers over and over and over. The log is like 40 feet long and he's cutting a quarter inch of it off at a time. And it looked excruciating. It's like, can't we just trade that log for some shingles? Yes. You get one guy out here with a chainsaw. This is done

in 15 minutes. They're using that old-timey, big-toothed Paul Bunyan bullshit. I bet those guys are like the epitome of Farmer Strong, though. They've got to be super fit and smelly wearing all those clothes all the time. You never see them in short sleeves.

Can you imagine eating an Amish bitch's snatch? So musty do you think they have you know gillette venus hell no they don't they've got sheep shears they need them i need they must have some kind of razors because none of those guys have mustaches that's the biggest gripe i have with it is getting rid of the mustache and keeping the beard you look ridiculous man come on do you think that the girls just have big hairy bushes oh yeah i bet they got That's the biggest gripe I have with it, is getting rid of the mustache and keeping the beard. You look ridiculous, man. Come on. Do you think that the girls just have big hairy bushes?

Oh, yeah. I bet they got just moist. 100%. There's no way. I'm not finding anything that says this thing is fake. I was so sure it was. I might have been wrong. Yeah, they've definitely got big bushes.

There's no way the Amish ladies are shaving their snatches. Yeah, no fucking way, dude. Absolutely not. You know what kind of beating you would get when your father checks you every night? Yeah, when you have your bi-weekly pussy inspection and he finds out that you've been, you know, handing out strange to all the farmer boys, you're going to get beat. And rightfully so. Your beaver is naked, Diane!

I googled, do Amish women shave their pubic hair? And the link was already purple. I've looked into this before, I guess. Maybe we have been doing this show too long. Yeah, I would love to try being Amish. In my head, I'm like, man, it'd be cool to try being amish for like a month and i guarantee like 27 minutes in i'm gonna be like i'm so bored i'm so understimulated i didn't realize how addicted i am to the dopamine of immediate gratification from netflix and hulu and all of these things

yeah did you ever see the tim allen movie where he does he does just that no he gets uh he's like a, I don't remember the details, but for some reason he's got to flee the law. Like he got, he's been framed for some sort of tax fraud. You're talking about jungle to jungle for a second. No, no, no, no. He gets framed for some crime. And so he goes and accidentally kind of hides out with the Amish.

Like he sort of falls into place and they're like, oh, are you cousin Marcus? And he's like, yeah, I'm cousin Marcus. Why are you wearing those clothes? It's a long story. We've had a tough journey. Do you have anything? And he just falls right into place, pretending like he's Cousin Marcus or whatever.

And he becomes Amish. Meanwhile, of course, the Amish people know he's not Cousin Marcus. The elder is like, we're going to help these poor people out. Just being friendly. But along the way, Tim Allen's waking up at 3 in the morning and everything and by the end of it, he's flexing this big ass muscle he's made, plowing the fields and building barns. It's a good movie.

Yeah. As far as Tim Allen movies go. I wonder if more women have happy trails than we know and they just manscape it some way. Are we still talking about the Amish, or is this general?

I just thought maybe the Amish would be a more target-rich environment for those weirdos that like happy trails. Yeah. Yeah. You know, maybe like Italian women? It's not that I was disgusted with that girl

because she had a happy trail. Go on. I was disgusted because she didn't do anything about it. And the dick. Taylor's so judgy. Same premise. I wasn't disgusted by the dick. I was disgusted that she hadn't done anything about it yet.

See, all joking aside, we've been teasing for years. I thought she was hot because she was hot. And the happy trail was really just something, like such a small part of the overall package. This woman was a professional whitewater rafting guide, right? She worked out 12 hours a day, six days a week. She had very low body fat. Like she's just a super fit woman.

And she could pick a six man wrapped up over on her head and walk with it. Yeah, yeah. She was just like one percenter in terms. She's like a fitness chick pretty much. And she had a happy trail. And to me, it was like, oh, well, of all the nitpicks, I could let that go easily. How do you think she would have reacted if I had went, doink, and like plucked one out?

I think she'd have kicked all our asses. I think she'd have beat the shit out of me right there. You, me, Chiz. It was a real problem if you had done that. I think I'd have gone in the water. Man, but she has to know that's there. Oh, she knows. She has to know that it's there?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Wait, I think she had hairy armpits too. Am I crazy or did I make that up? I think you're you know if i if i tried hard enough i could imagine hairy armpits but i don't remember them yeah women with hairy armpits they're not like guy armpits they're one eighth of a guy hair yeah they're wispy yeah there's not a whole lot there especially if they've never shaved them

before like yeah still hard pass same the leg hair like I've seen girls with leg hair and it's like ooh if you made me the deal Woody you've got two girls here one's fine and does not have a happy trail and this one has a happy trail but a flat tummy and a

tight ass who do you want what does the happy trail lead to Woody because I think it leads to a hairy ass. Does it lead to a big old... It's in the front, Kyle. It's in the front. It goes all the way around, Woody. It's a solid loop of hair. It's like a chastity belt. Yes.

From navel to the top of her ass crack is just a musky thicket. Actually, if there is hair between her ass cheeks, that is not my thing Yeah Now I have limits huh We found a lie

Yeah you might have She's like pluck em Alright you go to Greg She's like uh uh Porn is rough this way If you search for like hairy porn or something It's like, whoa, not that much. You guys are really overdoing it here.

You went from zero to 100. This is female Taylor on my screen right here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, all right, it either has to be completely shaved pussy or like Bob marley dreads coming out of your face yes that's it yes there's a whole subreddit of that and every time one of those posts reaches like high enough that it gets to me i'm just like oh fuck why are you people

into this that and labia gone wild i'll tell you what to hairy pussy i'm not subscribed i go to r all i'll tell you one thing i don't care for all All right. I go to a couple of, uh, one of my, one of my favorite subreddits is our God pussy. All right. Now a God pussy, you might think is the perfect vagina, but it's been infiltrated by incels. All right. These people come in there and they give these ladies with subpar vaginas hope. They're like, Hey, do I have a God pussy? Give these ladies with subpar vaginas hope. They're like, hey, do I have a god pussy? Somebody needs to be in there going, no. You go to Argonwild.

You go to somewhere else. You go to LabiaGonWild. You're missing an old bitch. That is merely a good pussy. That's just a good pussy. It's not a Frankenstein monster. I'm not saying that. But you don't belong in our god pussy, all right? If it was a subreddit about men and it was like our like godly biceps or our atlas bods and you know you know and and

some guy come and and up till now it's all been like literally the top one percent of one percent these guys literally are mr olympia contestants and then suddenly the guy at your local gym is like what do you think ladies and you're like, I think you're strong, but no. No, go back to our bodybuilding and show off your games, bro. I was hoping so much when you said incels that it was going to be a bunch of incels who went into those threads like, no, that pussy's gross. No, they're the opposite. Ew, I'm just ruining their self-esteem.

They're like, yeah, that's great. Oh, that's an art god asshole, too. There's god asshole and there's god asshole and there's gart huh are there any good threads you know of that are funny to read through not off the top of my head it's just like half the time when i click on one of those it's like no you don't belong god pussy back in this is so ridiculous this requires a little research oh do i have to be 18 years old to old to look at pussy on the internet? Aha.

Guess what? 13 through 17-year-old Taylor laughs at that. 12. Tell you what, I'm on here right now. It's looking pretty good. I think the mods have cleaned this place up. The mods have cleaned it up? Yeah.

I'm scrolling. See, that's a problem. Is it my pussy aches? Is that the one that caught your attention? That's a problem aches nope not a god pussy a good pussy fine it's okay now what's wrong with that that you don't you just like the homer simpson it's too lippy it's too lippy all right it's not a god pussy all right how about the one below bubblegum princess that's great that's great that's fine room has arrived. Is both lippy and god pussy according to me? I'm scrolling down.

Most of these are pretty nice. Did you find room service has arrived? I'm going up. I'm going up. Describe the position that she is in. I'll link it for you. Oh, see that's no fun though. Well, her legs are spread. Well, she's got her pussy out.

Is it below the bubblegum princess? It's right below enjoying my day. I'm looking for bubblegum princess. Enjoying my day. And you know what? Some of these editing, my red flag's going up on some of these. Oh, it's probably seven or eight below bubblegum princess. Okay, I'm on it. Ah, that's fine.

That's so tiny. See, a little lip, yet still godlike. A little lip. Yeah, exactly. Symmetrical. Very symmetrical. Symmetrical and, um... Mostly pink. Symmetrical. Symmetrical, pink, and, like, I feel like in another position, it'd all be

any. Yeah, yeah, she's really trying to get it out there to the people. I wonder what, like, the you know, aggregate dad relationship is like of the posters here. See, I don't like when they've got this weird thing between the vagina and the butthole, like

the one that says I'm back and freshly shaved too. I don't know what's going on there. She's got something going on between the bottom of her badge and her butthole. I'm back and better shaved too. God. How far have you scrolled down? They are quite perfect.

It was up at the top. Unfortunately. Kick it off from the top. Oh, I'm back and freshly shaved too. I found it. It's like the third one. Yeah, I don't know what that is. I need to get that nipped off.

Get it nipped off? I've never dated a cow. She's got like a skin tag and her gooch. I don't see that much, yeah. No, that's called a pussy plus. It feels even better. Pussy plus a little bit of...

Yeah, what the hell? What's going on there? Some of these are quite nice. See, some women have what's called a lower clit. And they have to pull up on them. Wow, wow. Taylor's next level. Not only can he find a clit, he can find a couple of them.

A couple of them. All over the place. Some of them hide behind earlobes and shit. That's a buckle. On the small of their back. So ready for a good pound with your fucking wedding ring on. But yeah, I feel like the mods have come in and cleaned this place up since I last visited. Because that's 90% god pussy. Well, good.

There was a time. We were down to like 50-50. And is that one of your go-to's? I don't really have go-tos necessarily. I just, you know, when I'm scrolling through RL for 30 minutes at a time, I make stops if I see something is from a certain place. Like if I see it's Gruul or Labia Gone Wild,

I'm skipping right over that. But if I see God Pussy, I'm like, oh, let's see what's happened here. And then I'm disappointed. Then I have to message mods and stuff and they get all lippy pussy lippy what's it i think i have chubby as one of my filters there's all sorts of like chubby goddess gone wild chubby this chubby that chubby bbw bbbbb. It's way too big.

What's the funniest one of those? What's the most B's you can put in there and still tell that it's a woman? 47 B's and still tell that it's a woman. Yeah, before their endocrine system. Jabba the Hutt gone wild. I like the one with the impressive girls. I could never possibly remember the acronym. You probably know what I'm talking about.

Did not vote because girl't upvote because girl or originally upvoted because girl, but this is genuinely impressive and not just because girl. Are you familiar with this? This is the name of a whole subreddit? That's too long. It's too many words. It sounds like they're aiming at equality and I blocked those. Oh, no. They earned

their equality on this one. It's pretty cool. You know what the problem is? The label Thick has been co-opted by women who are straight up fat. Yeah, it has. All our real Thick girls out there are like, you've ruined the label.

You've ruined it. You're going to say, oh, sure, I know this one. Upvoted not because... God, I look fucking sunburned. Upvoted not because girl, but because sub voted not because girl but because it is very good however i do concede that initially i clicked because girl that's what it stands for it's not a porn subreddit yeah and uh girls doing impressive things yeah and they're like impressive things like here's a chick swimming with a gigantic shark here's a chick gonna crush an apple i'm pretty sure with her bare What's this bitch doing with her hands?

She's doing a magic trick. You know what? If she would have done that in like 1508, she'd be executed. Because that's really good. On my screen, there's a girl about to climb a wall. Oh, I've seen that gif. Yeah, climbing is impressive

for me no matter what. I don't know if it's the same one. Oh, the apple test strength? No, that's's just a trick that's the same as phone books i feel like that's a trick that not everyone can oh your apples are actually easy to rip into much like phone books i've done it yeah it's like a thing you can look up online it's like it's not about how hard you're pulling because it's one of those things where it's like here big burly guy try and tear the apple apart and he ends up just like digging his fingers into it not doing it right then you give it to someone weaker and he does

it because like he knows like the technique i've ripped an apple right the apple is too and it was hard i so basically what you do is you put your thumbs in the top like where the stem is and kind of dig them down and then pull it apart. And when you dig in to buy the stem, you're compromising it, and then it pulls apart a little easier. I did not make it look easy. I got it eventually, but it was...

Yeah, it depends on how ripe the apple is, because I've definitely had apples that I could crush with one hand. It was just a ripe apple. Why would you crush an apple with one hand? Just to do it? There was a whole bunch of strangers in the room and I wanted them to know that I would.

That you were an apple crusher. I don't know why I crushed it. When Taylor said. He could crush rotten apples with one hand. When Taylor's like, ah, ripping apples in two is easy. It's a lot like tearing phone books or, you know, bending steel.

Any of us could do it there's literally like tutorials i've never tried the phone book thing i bet that is i've done the phone book but there's uh there's videos people being like work it a little here yeah try doing this and they do it and then they're like nah do steps one two and three and then like it's gonna tear right apart like once you put a kink in the middle so yeah do you know what the power team is oh is that the like the the christians yep we're like oh i remember specifically i've seen the power team i have in person yes yeah i saw him in person i was with my i was maybe like 16 years old or something and i went over to a friend's house and they're like hey guys we're

going to watch the power team. And like the parents dropped us off. It was like a strip mall kind of place where they were just they were doing it. And they they're all doing their feats of strength, tearing shit apart, bending steel, wearing the crowd, pretty big crowd. I'm like, this is awesome. This is cool. And then they stopped doing that. And they're like.

All right, now we'd like to take a minute to talk to you about our lord and savior jesus christ and like like a couple people started to stand up and they're like i would advise that you don't leave for this part since you already enjoyed the feats of strength and people were literally sitting back down like we ended up leaving after they were into the jesus spiel unless you want to see me tear a man apart i suggest you sit back down sir i am your worst enemy i am your worst they came to our church so there wasn't a surprise about the jesus stuff like we we we saw that coming like it was in a church where this happened and yeah they they broke the blocks they bent the steel bars they tore the phone books in half it was was maybe eight, so I was blown away.

They got nicknames like Samson. It's really cool. Yeah. Until they're like, I want to talk about your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And it's like, every three minutes, can you tear a phone book or something heavy or something? Keep me engaged here. I'm wrist deep in Christ all the time anyway right now. I don't need any more wrist

deep or balls deep depending on which side you measure from oh that's that's how it goes man wrist that's the thing that tips you you're definitely going to hell on that one that's the one that that's a tipping point which one of us we're going to be there. I mean, the wrist steep in Christ thing, I think. I don't... I'm almost positive that's not even the first time I've said that. Today. Today, yeah.

You want to see a huge plant explode in Texas? It's real quick and to the point. The video might be a minute and a half or something, but the plant goes boom in the first 10 seconds. What kind of plant is it? Does it matter? I don't know. I want to know if it's a nuclear

plant or something. Definitely not a nuclear plant. It'd probably be in the news. Maybe it's a fertilizer plant. If that's how they make fertilizers at plants. They do. Ready, set, play. Fuck. Oh, there was damage as well.

The little overhead light with all those dead bugs you can see. Holy shit. This was today. Goddamn. Yeah, right? That was a big fucking explosion. Someone commented and said, we heard slash felt it in orange 18 miles away.

I wonder what their initial thought was. Like, do you not think, are we under attack? Hmm. Maybe. I don't know. See, I'm near, I don't know if you'd call Raleigh a major city, but it's definitely a city, a city that people know the name of sometimes. Like, it could be a target, maybe.

It's not New York, but... I'm safe. Nobody's bombing St. Louis. St. Louis, I've heard of it. They take one look and they're like, nope, somebody already got to them. Russians are like, oh my god. We meant devastation not this much. We never did that.

It looked like paintball course. What is this? I see man right now being killed with hammer. No doubt looter in the fray. Do you think you'll live in St. Louis for the rest of your life? I don't know. I mean, so many of my friends

and family are here. I like the city is your girlfriend from the area uh yeah yeah she's from st louis it's it stinks that we're never in the news for anything positive that was another great stanley won the stanley cup yeah where it was like finally a good story instead of like crime rates rising but one city stands atop can you stop making these crime lists every year you're making this look terrible Instead of like crime rates rising, but one city stands atop. Can you stop making these crime lists every year? You're making this look terrible.

They always give Chicago so much shit. But there are other. Yeah, because there's so much bigger. Like we like we'll pretend around here to not know about per capita and just be like, well, Chicago is actually the one that shitty. It's like when, well, when you equalize for the number of people, it's like, I don't need your math. I put my tinfoil hat on, or maybe I need to. And I always think it's politically driven. They just always want to talk about Chicago because it's a liberal city and it's a horrible crime. And this is what happens if Democrats run things.

They don't talk about D.C. because that would implicate themselves perhaps in some way. They don't talk about St. Louis because even though probably the city's Democrat, I'm just making that up, the state's not. They don't talk about Atlanta. It's just the numbers. Atlanta's Democrats. But Georgia's not.

DC's overwhelmingly Democrat. Yeah, but Georgia doesn't have control over Atlanta. They don't talk about Atlanta. They talk about Chicago. Always Chicago. Often New York talk about Atlanta. They talk about Chicago. Always Chicago. Often New York. Often LA. They talk about the cities from Democratic states.

Never the ones from conservative states. I think it's more just because Chicago, LA, and New York are the three biggest cities. That is true. I know Houston's up there. And so if they're trying to get a shock value, those are the highest net numbers. You could say, Memphis, fucking look at the total percentage and shit, but it's not as drawing as 50 people shot over a weekend in Chicago. Don't they have a real pooping in the street problem in San Francisco, though?

They say that. I wonder what the truth is. I mean, you find as many pictures as you can of feces in the Atlanta streets, and I'll go and find the ones for San Francisco and let's see who wins. You're cheating using San Fran. Well, hang on. Not San Fran. Let's pick a different

Seattle. All right. Not Seattle either. I'm going to Delhi. No. All right. I'm going to India, Kyle. I'm going to fuck you up. But it is funny how they'll be like... Moving in the street is part of our religion. Like just imagining a homeless guy who was previously respectful

in like Portland being like another Democrat got elected and he's like taking his pants off. Just shitting in the street. Well, I have to. This is... If a Republican would have have got elected i would now be a job creator well i'm creating jobs for the poor people who have to

sweep shit in the streets here's an article from business insider called oh hang on shit in the streets is there money to be made oh my god what is it with these pop-ups or is it really not gonna let me unless i go through an ad Oh, hang on. Shit in the streets. Is there money to be made? Oh, my God. What is it with these pop-ups? Is it really not going to let me unless I go through an ad wall? That's how most news sites are. I don't even know. Well, fuck you, Business Insider.

The headline was, San Francisco's public poop problem is worse than ever. Damn. I know they have an app where you can report shit in the streets. No, they don't. Who does? I either fell for a troll or this is true. Oh, my God, they do. Yes, I told you.

Isn't that hilarious? Here's it on a bar graph, and it says human feces incidents by year in San Francisco. Check out this article from Vice. Human feces incidents by year. It should be a cool zero. And they're brown. The bars are brown. Oh my God.

How do you avoid that? That's a lot of poops. On the one map, they just covered the entire San Fran area with like little poop emojis. And there's no space in between. And one part in particular is just black poop dude what the fuck is going on in san francisco 2011 5 547 shit related incidents

2018 28 000 how has it increased that much why don't they just put some public toilets up i mean maybe it's like a spite shit it just seems like if there was some it must be that stores are not letting homeless people poop in it kyle the app is called snap crap that's such a good idea i hope they're making money on that good for them snap crap yeah that is odd though i've never seen human poop even in st louis i've been accosted aggressively by homeless people but never seen shit the snap crap the snap crap um app has the same color scheme as snapchat but it's a poo instead of that little ghost thingy that Snapchat has.

You can see somebody posting it. They just go, I see poop. 241st and 6th Street, and it's a photo of some turds on a sidewalk. Of course, they have to confirm it with the photo. Oh my god. Maybe there's been this poops around for a long time, but now with Snap time but now it's snap crap it's you know it's getting reported i think the conservative argument or side of things would be that because san francisco is so liberal um about how they treat the homeless there they're so like yeah let them come and sleep wherever they want on the streets we're not gonna like throw them out of our

city but at the same time we can't really afford to have a bunch of public toilets that that's causing this problem that has to be something something like that right because they're low of course they're very densely packed is it hard to erect like a public toilet or like you know i don't know they would just end up fucking in it they need those bill gates toilets Did you read about the Bill Gates toilet that he's invented for Indians? No. It's powered by worms. It's just a toilet out that doesn't have to be connected to plumbing. What do you think that smells like?

Does it handle the throughput of 28,000 shits a year? That's what I was thinking. It probably smells like India. When I heard that he had a fucking toilet that's powered by worms, I'm like, how many poops a day can a big bucket of worms handle one two right this is for a place that doesn't have taco bell yes this is these are these are hard spicy poops i don't i don't think he's taking that into account that's that's such a bullshit way of framing it too this is powered by worms that's like me being hey i invented

something it's called shit in the ocean and it's powered by fish and it's like you didn't what you just put a bucket with a hole on the bottom and worms down there and you shit into it's like uh mr gates get real with us now you liar oh it's powered by worms so you just shit on worms and they eat it visionary get this The whole world is your septic field. It costs $350 apparently. I'm trying to find out more. I think they spent $200 million coming up with it. That's insane. It took $200 million to figure out that it could remain as many as 200 trillion rotavirus. He has a jar of poop while he's speaking. This is what Bill Gates does these days. He's at a podium with a jar of poop while he's speaking this is what bill gates does these days

he's on he's at a podium with a jar of poop next to him i don't know what you just make like on one hand there's the gates foundation right and the gates foundation is this wonderful organization trying to make the world better and it's not easy to give away a hundred billion dollars unless you're the government so like i get it i get it you know he's doing these great things and he's trying to be responsible and improve the world cool but since he started giving away his money his net worth has like quadrupled more like he's given away like one percent of what he has he hasn't given away much at all but he's known as the planet's best philanthropist. Yeah.

As a percentage, there's nine-year-olds giving away more money. Oh, yeah. There was one post I saw where it was like, Bill Gates gave away $98.4 million for this cause. And someone was like, yeah, if you break that down, someone who makes $50,000 a year, that's like giving away $42. I don't like that, though. Go on. It's like the guy is dropping a hundred million and your first reaction is like you got any more how about

you just fucking pay your taxes that you're you're supposed to dude which would be way more instead of going to pr firms and having them say hey if you make a bucket with a hole in the bottom you can say it's worm powered i think i mean i think it's fair to say he is paying his taxes the way he's supposed to, that someone needs to write a better tax code. And it's not on him to say, you know what, this isn't my fair share. Because if we're going to compare him to that person making $50,000, they're certainly not going, you know, I could pay a little more. I eat out twice a week. Like, no, we're all going to pay whatever the tax code says we're supposed to pay. And it's up to somebody else to write a better tax code gonna pay whatever the tax code says we're supposed to pay and it's it's up

to somebody else to write a better tax code a more fair tax code yeah well it should be more fair he's got i mean he's got stockholders he's got who aren't all trillionaires you know some of them are just like individuals who have his stuff in their 401k it's not up to him to like well i assume he's talking about life savings by giving away his fortune or not i don't know but i it's just remarkable to me that he has his while he's given away all his he made a pledge to give away all his money and since that pledge he's tripled or quadrupled his net worth well it sounds like the christians were right go on yeah you know they're always going on about how like if if you're giving it'll come back to you, like, fivefold or whatever. Give and you shall receive.

Yeah. But don't they mean give to Christ? No, it means, like, if you... The bad ones do. If you eat pussy, you will get head. There you go. That's what it actually means. God's up there furious that we didn't get it.

Well, according to my priest, it's if you suck my dick, someday someone will suck yours. Oh, God. If you give communion, you can suck a kid's dick. Or receive head from them. Yeah. I wonder if that's ever going to get solved. All the religious leaders who are just totally

banging kids. Oh, yeah. Your audio is coming in a little strange now, friendo. Thing came unplugged. All right. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

I think you're good now. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I bumped a thing with my elbow. Taylor implying it's a problem that religious leaders are fucking children. Yeah.

You know what? I'm going to go out on a limb and say I'm two thumbs down. Two thumbs down from me. I feel like you're violating show policy. No, I'm being against that. All these priests, rabbis, imams, fucking, what do Buddhists have? Buddhas? Buddhas?

No, that's not right. Definitely not. Monks. Monks. That's what they have. You know what the worst part about monks is, is that they've stopped doing that thing where they shave the funny George Costanza bald patch in their head. Oh.

I like that. That's hilarious. Why is Buddha so fat? The monks are so fit. Seems like monks should be fat. Do as I say, not as I do. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah.

He's gorging himself. Buddha does look like that guy who died israel kamikawiki wikiwan or whatever who was singing the somewhere over the rainbow song oh yeah they had to like film him standing halfway in a pool with his ukulele because his ankles probably couldn't handle it outside of the water yeah maybe maybe that's what it was yeah it just lowered his body weight with flotation yeah have you ever seen that clip we haven't even watched on the show years ago of that like saudi prince or some like really rich uh like middle eastern prince who was so heavy they had to like knock out a wall of his castle and get him out of there. And he's like driving through the streets on a flatbed truck.

It looks like half-melted ice cream. And he's dead now. But, you know, I feel like when walking becomes a chore, you got to, I don't know, it seems like a high priority. Yeah, I guess I was talking about Boogie's blister on PKN, but I figured out what it had. It was a car accident. I think maybe I knew it then.

It was an airbag burn on the back of his thumb. He uploaded a video where he talked about it, so he's fine. Have you ever been in a car when the airbags went off? No, but I've been in lots of salvage yards, and I've also seen people do that bullshit where they sit on top of an airbag on a chair and launch themselves. Bad idea. I got into an accident and the airbags went off.

And they're super hot. One, it was, like, I could definitely see how people get burned. I was fortunate, I guess, in that the airbag that faces you is a big, solid thing. But, like, it's kind of mushroom-shaped. Right on the other side of it on my car anyway is where the air came out obviously if the air doesn't come out then it's just a different hard surface closer to you that you'd smash into yeah so um um and like that hot air like i could i guess it's a friction burn

no it's hot in there the bags are very warm like it is an explosion that caused the air to happen like it's a the air inside that is hot i don't think it's a friction burn and the whole car you think it is huh and then the whole car is filled with won't call it smoke but it's like an airborne powder and it's smoky in effect i think it is smoke from the airbag explosion thing. I'm going to Google this now. I have no idea. Is airbag air hot? A large volume of hot gas inflates the airbag.

It's a highly exothermic reaction. Yeah. It's a highly exothermic reaction. Yeah. It is hot air. I went to Chick-fil-A this week and I saw somebody get arrested right next to the drive-thru line. And so that was pretty cool. Bunch of cops.

Yeah, I guess it is. I guess you're right. It's weird. Oh, it's both. Oh, it's both. Well, the guess it is. I guess you're right. It's weird. Oh, it's both. Oh, it's both. Well, the more you know. The more you know. Yeah, I've never had that happen.

Sounds shitty. It's thermal burns from high temperature gases and friction burns from physical contact. In any case, airbags, not worth the trouble. not at all name me one study that shows they're helpful the beauty of airbags you don't even need a seat belt if you have them that's true yeah you guys agree with that nonsense i'm pretty sure we've been sponsored by the ntsha or before the national highway traffic safety association um none of that's true, folks. These are jokes. Seatbelts and airbags.

Good for you. First of all, they said not to read out the letters. It's NHTSA. So we're big stands of NHTSA. We kind of laughed that NHTSA would sponsor the show, but it's not dumb to me. If you look at our demographic, you listener out there, I bet you're in your 20s and I bet you're a guy. And according to NHTSA, you're probably the person who needs to hear not to race trains. Yeah.

Yeah. Because, like, 10 of you dummies do it every week. And most of you make it, but some of you don't. Some of you guys are in Ford escorts. You can't race a train. No. But think about it. You need a high-octane vehicle, all right?

You get yourself a four-cylinder Mustang. I knew that was coming. You had the train tracks, buddy. I was 100% sure what car we'd need. But when everybody stopped doing it, NHTSA wouldn't need to sponsor podcasts. That's true. They could spend their money in better places.

They could... I don't know what that would be. They are job creators, the people who race trains. They are. their money in better places. They could... I don't know what that would be. They are job creators. The people who race trains. They are. Who's the mixed martial artist who got hit by the train? Matt Hughes. That was Matt Hughes.

How did he do that? Was he racing a train? Maybe Matt should watch the show. If you get injured from being hit by a train, the ambulance should not have to respond. It should be like you know exactly where it's going to be. I agree. I don't understand how you get hit by a train.

Like it's coming. Here it comes. What should we do? Not get in front of it. You sure? Here it comes. I want to get in front of it. Don't. I'm going to do it. Don't do it. No, I it you sure here it comes i want to get in front of it don't i'm gonna do it don't do it no i think i can stop it he'll stop yeah unless we'll see

trains can't unless some dick dastardly character has tied you down to the tracks there's no excuse yeah and what was his dog's name such a cock like every time i read about matt hughes he's a bigger asshole and uh i'm trying to figure out if he raced the train but he's certainly suing the train perhaps he wasn't driving and and we're we're trashing him for no reason but oh no he was driving he was driving like you could see the train from forever uh it was like everyone you could hear it and he's he thinks the driver of the train was at fault for this what's a more embarrassing knowingly drove his vehicle avoidable what's more embarrassing and easily avoidable accident than getting hit by a train he's estranged from his wife because he was choking her.

Oh, diving into the shallow end of a pool. Oof. Wow. There's so many things that say not to do that. What are those people thinking? I don't get that one either. I do that all the time. But you don't

go straight down. You take an angle. Or, you know, I do the scoop. In the four feet of water? Three. Yeah. I've been doing it since I was a teenager. Well, Taylor, checkmate. This episode is brought to you by the National Pool

Safety Administration. Like the whole swimming team would. You dive in, it looks like you're going to dive. Okay. That's what Matt Hughes... Matt Hughes has had a very similar conversation to this one with his buddy about three years ago. I can beat a train?

You're like, who races trains? I race trains all the time. You know what? I've just had about 18 Miller Lights. I'm going to go race a train right now. I'll be defending myself. You just do like a little scoop there at the end. I thought my wife liked choking.

It looks like you're going to die. The restraining order was a surprise. And the trick is I'm so drunk that my body's not even rigid. So if I do fuck up, it's fine. It's only going 30 or 40. I'm going to sue the pool creator. Install it or whatever. Yeah, I can't think of a more avoidable accident

than being hit by a fucking train. Oh, those chicks who are like, I'm going on a solo hiking trip to fucking Afghanistan. And then it's like, a person gets murdered. And it's like, what were you thinking? What were you thinking? Go toce or something don't don't go marching alone through afghanistan mexico would give you better odds yeah better odds

in mexico i don't know about greece failed economy very sexually aggressive men you might go missing there i think that was italy but yeah we're gonna hiss at him anyway i'm sailing with vagabond just me yeah oh yeah oh yeah i got the reference all right it's all right they're not like us you just don't understand yeah they're hissing at you that's how they do it's cool they fancy yeah i think it's because they're gonna rape her oh they wouldn't do that far well not all the way anyway was that something he said greeks will hiss at you yeah no it wasn't ital Italians actually did hiss at her. Yeah, I thought it was Italians too.

I just wasn't sure. They were hissing at her. And she really didn't like it, but she was also sympathetic to the idea that these people come from a hissing culture. Yeah. And we're like, no, it's not okay. Speaking of silly Australian things that are cute,

the koalas Apparently their habitat has been destroyed By a wildfire recently And there are only 80,000 koalas left on the planet Koalas need a good extinction Anyway I don't think they're competitive Animals Aren't they the most retarded of animals A few interesting facts

About koalas They only eat eucalyptus leaves. Eucalyptus leaves are highly, I don't know if toxic is the right word, but they get the koalas incredibly high. So a koala is at all times tripping balls. And the koalas also are, I think the percentage of them that has, I want to say herpes, is enormous. Let me see. How many koala herpes? Why would we try to save this species?

Yeah. Oh, it's chlamydia. It's a common sexually transmitted disease. A different strain infects koalas, but it too can spread. Yeah, 90% of koalas have chlamydia. That's so funny. 90% of koalas are, are stoned out of their mind,

tripping balls on, on, on eucalyptus infected with chlamydia and hanging up in a tree, just looking for somebody to drop down onto. Drop bears. Yeah. Drop bears. That's what they call them.

Yeah. Yeah. That's like the cow tipping of Australia. Yeah, or snipe hunting. You ever take somebody snipe hunting? I never have, but I know the meme. Yeah, it's not nice. I did get busted for... I was a Boy Scout.

It was one of my first things. And they had me looking all over for a left-handed smoke shifter. And if you guys are all familiar with this one... No no same as the snipe i would guess yeah pretty much well we started the campfire and during the daytime and it was blowing at you know where people were sitting so they sent me and another guy out for a left-handed smoke shifter so that it would not blow towards where we were sitting anymore this is not a thing

that exists and we went from like we walked for miles asking all the people in the camp. Oh, no. It was the woods, right? So you'd have to walk like half a mile to find the next person camping out in their little private corner of the wood. That was a long time ago. People didn't get hurt. Yeah, when people were... Yeah, you know, Jeffrey Dahmer times.

Ah, before that, think more... Manson. Charles Manson. That's who i was going for yeah yeah manson time john wayne casey yeah that now you now you're good so um yeah we just want and i always felt betrayed by the people we asked you know like they should have been left-handed smoke shifter you poor kid take a seat here we're gonna give you like a pb and j sandwich an hour later, come back. Tell these assholes that you looked everywhere and couldn't find it. Like, that's what I would do

if some child, 11-year-old said they were looking for a left-handed smoke shifter. But that didn't happen at all. You're lucky none of them were like, yeah, it's in the trailer. Come on. Yeah, maybe. But instead, they're like, nope, not here. Nice and deep.

Yeah, on your knees. Do you know the call for one? Well, first of all, pants off. And on all fours. In my bed, yeah. I would have done something like, I just saw a couple right-handed ones, but now I haven't seen a lefty.

Somebody said that. That guy is awesome. No, he's not. That guy was laughing his ass off all night. When he gets back to the camp, he missed the s'mores. I'm like 10 or 11. Give your brother a break.

Everybody's all sticky. We've got some graham crackers left they got ants on them well you should have found your left-handed fucking snipe faster yeah everybody every little sucked like dude there was like leadership right like the guys who had like there's officers and boy scouts and stuff like that and um whenever the people who made up the schedule had kp which is mean they do the dishes it was like peanut butter and jelly day and there'd be no dishes to be done whenever it's time for them to cook they had an easy meal when they just sat back and enjoyed it it was like hard to clean hard to cook assholes i don't know maybe it's because i would also not like it if I was put up to that task, but it is very funny to send kids

on a goose chase, a literal goose chase. What pranks are there like that now? There's a lot of them. You ask people to get you some blinker fluid. Muffler bearings. I think

when I worked at McDonald's for that one week uh they sent some guy to go get like um one of the like they were like go get the thousand dollar dressing that goes in the big mac sauce or something stupid like that you know it's a little uh little initiation thing you know you do to the new guy and it's making him feel silly and everybody laughs at him yeah it's it's bonding yeah in like a really alienating kind of way it's good for 11 year olds yeah it's good for kids who are you know in developmental parts of their lives and already have struggling with self-esteem yeah they're in a mixed up world i don't know i think that's funny yeah i do too i like it i like the snipe hunting um especially because you end up wandering in the woods at night.

Good pranks are funny. Like I got absolutely owned on a prank on my first stream where I went to go pee and I came back and I didn't know it was a meme for the, you know, fucking 1200 people in the chat or whatever to all just say muted muted you're muted i can't hear you i can't hear you know i was like spending like three or four minutes trying to figure it out and then some good samaritan was like you absolute idiot they're joking and i'm like oh you bastards because they totally got me i didn't know that i'm falling for all of the old live streaming means pretty much so you know you just gotta have a good attitude about it do you play with one ear off your headset yeah you don't sound whore in south park no i'm trying to find where the the nazi cows are is that glowing red thing you're hitting people with a dildo

uh yes i i've upgraded from that uh i did have a nice level 4 dildo that I imbued with burning powers but now I think I've got like an elvish blade or something like that I think I was there for that upgrade my big like my favorite move from my main guy is circumcise and he goes in and he takes

like it even says like the name of the tool whatever it is that you use to like circumcise a baby in like the traditional orthodox jewish way or whatever and like you go over and you slice them does a bunch of bleeding damage and seems like a pretty solid move i've been using it a ton against the nazi bad guys and it feels like you know that's and it's not fair yeah someday in my political career they'll play that in ed yeah we're more concerned with your message telling children to dive into three-foot pools as long as you're cool and a good swimmer, you can do it. No, what I heard is only bitches can't do that.

Come on, everybody, line up. Yeah, line up. Those of you who can walk afterward are in the club, and then you can go on a left-footed snipe hunt. Yeah. Yeah, I'm having a lot of fun swimming. I'm enjoying it. It's fun. Yeah, what game are are you gonna play next after you get done with the south park stuff i have to know the south park stuff i don't know i've been you know thinking about doing uh magic the gathering playing some

more of that the online version not mtg go or mtgo whatever the the good one the good one that you were playing as well yeah so i'm thinking about that i'm if i'm playing live people though i'm gonna get absolutely stomped just fucking spanked by guys who have spent like money to make their decks good or have played it enough to like unlock a bunch of shit and i'm not about like they probably have they probably have what do you call it when like every they have like a tournament and everybody like, like, like, um, Oh, drafting. Yeah. Drafting tournaments are fun.

Yeah. They probably have drafting tournaments on there. I would do that for sure. Yeah. Like I, I can't wait for all the comments telling me I'm a dumb boomer for picking the wrong card or something. And you could play, uh, anything on board on, um, um, tabletop simulator, like any of the traditional board games.

Like if, if, if Monopoly interested you or like, I hate the hate the game of life um i think it's just stupid yeah it's boring yeah it's it's boring i don't care at the end i'm like it's is it over is it over now yeah yeah i know i got two kids and and and i'm a doctor is it over now like i just don't give a shit this is the board game the game of life yeah yeah i don't There's like one decision to make, maybe. The rest you just roll the dice and watch it happen. Like four or five. You know, it's like you choose your career. You know, it's just like real life.

Don't you like switch careers with other people and stuff? I remember like, I can't believe I'm a neurosurgeon with two kids and a wife and I'm so happy. And it's like, change your situation with the guy to your left well fuck it sucks well no i'm a custodian you know right yeah that that game sucks i don't care for it risk another game that in your head before you start playing risk you're like oh man i haven't played this in forever this game's's so much fun, so tactical, and then it is so frustrating. You can have somebody cornered all the way to just being in Vietnam and they can make the game last another five hours.

We played a good bit of Risk a while back. It's probably been a year now. Some of us liked it. Some of us didn't. Codenames is my favorite game on Tabletop Simulator. Everybody I know loves that game. They've been pestering me lately to play it. But I've been playing so much Tarkov. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff on Tabletop Simulator. Approach every board game.

I think Uno was on there, if you gave a shit about that. No, that game sucks. Yeah, not a big fan of that. But all the board game stuff, I think is's pretty cool does it have rent-o-fortune yeah monopoly yeah where you can play as like you know knock off little tokens where it's like well you can't be a top hat but you can be a baseball cap this is a sombrero. This is more jog avenue. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

I like that stuff. And that's a good game to be able to deal with the chat at the same time, I would think, because other people are taking their turns. And if you need to get involved, somebody's going to be like, hey, Taylor, will you trade me this for that? The chat could even assist you with decisions like that.

So yeah, I think that would be a good one. Or code names. Code names we have to be careful because I'm not going to name any names, but there have been people accused of cheating when some of us were streaming at code names. It caused a lot of tension.

A lot of hard feelings. I get PMs from people like, hey, this guy's cheating's cheating hey that guy's cheating you should and i'm like what am i the judge i'm the referee and all this like like why why am i the boss of fucking code names i'm playing too i just want to play the game i'm cheating too i'm not mad at all these cheaters i would never cheat i would never cheat at that game that would that would ruin the game there'd be no point in playing. But sometimes somebody comes up with a clue and they're like, I don't believe you.

You looked. You looked. You peeked. You're a dirty fucking peeker. Yeah. Yeah. But I like that game a lot. What do you have here, Woody? A pair of chemistry professors in Arkansas went total breaking bad and became meth cooks.

Awesome. They're associate professors of chemistry in Henderson State University in, good lord, Arkadelphia, Arkansas, taken into custody Friday afternoon. Yikes. There's going to be more reading. There really should be glasses. Yeah. I guess there was a chemical odor.

I'm told that... I looked it up because the odor was a big part of Breaking Bad. And I guess it smells like cat urine to cook meth. Sounds like ammonia. Yeah, I guess so, right? Yeah. I don't know. If I'm a chemistry professor

and I see Breaking Bad, aren't I inspired? Absolutely. It would make you cooler. Yeah. You see the scene where it's like, I am the one who knocks. And you're like, hell yeah.

I could be the one who knocks. I've got a fat, annoying wife and a crippled kid too. I could be the one who knocks and you're like hell yeah i could be the one who knocks i've got a fat annoying wife and a crippled kid too i could be the one who knocks yeah but dad i'm gonna start doing uh i'm gonna start doing the fucking jimmy's uh jimmy's voice for uh wait jimmy or timmy why am i confused because they're both one of them's physically retarded and the other's mentally retarded oh you're okay i think you're right there's something that's funny in uh the south park game that i enjoy is every time there's a jimmy quest he'll be like we have to get to we have to get we have to get to the farm and it stream right it's jimmy is it jimmy goes up and he starts doing that

taylor leaves i thought it was an infinite loop because he kept doing that i was like this is torture i thought you had to press a button or something for him to finish his sentence. There is a button. It says continue or skip. And if you just don't hit anything, he'll just keep doing his. There was a part where Taylor stepped away. And the character's just kind of standing there on the sidewalk idling. And there were other games that do similar things. I think in Sonic, he would just kind of crop.

The thing where he leans up against a wall like like one leg and be like or he tap his foot or something they're like uh dude can we get on with this shit let's go i gotta be home by 7 30 yeah it's like pretty cool messages yeah it's a very funny game have you guys played through that before not at all all. Oh. No. I heard from some people that the second one was not actually that bad. And I was like, oh, okay, I'll get the bundle and get both. And now people are like, oh, the second one fucking sucks ass. Sucks like not nearly as good. I never know which one to buy.

Like this game is $60. The deluxe version for $120. It's like, do I need to pay the other $60? Almost never. Yeah, probably not. Almost never. Especially if you're streaming it i bought the fancy version of my game because it it's it helps what is it tarkov yeah yeah it's it's a big deal it actually helps you were saying with that if you don't buy the fancy version can you upgrade to it that's what i did well somebody

gave me a code so i got the game for free and then I upgraded to the fancy version. So yeah, but I think you can upgrade and Hey, if anybody's actually like into the game or like thinking about getting into it, I think they have in a black Friday sale where it's like 30% off, like coming probably Friday, you'd think, but you never know.

It'd be on brand. They might do like a cyber Monday thing. You know, I don't know exactly how they're going to do it, but now would be the time to get into Tov watch some of shroud's videos if you're if you don't make it sound like i should get it like you shouldn't know it takes uh you have to be if you want to have fun you have to really be into it it really helps to have a squad on your side and uh the punishment for having a rough time is terrible i think i might i asked my stream

not my stream my twitter what i should stream next and a lot of them like this jedi game oh yeah the new jedi game is badass yeah what's that what is it fall in order i don't know like that i've only watched videos of it i don't i don't really pay it sounds like it's single player i don't know and uh but what was really it looked like you could engage and disengage from it yeah i mean you're a jed, so you've got fucking... It looked like Borderlands the Jedi. You might be an evil guy. I don't really know.

I've just seen the gameplay and the guys flipping around, doing lightsaber combat and moving people around with his hands. That's fun. I'm caught up on The Mandalorian. Are you? No, I didn't. Last night, I played Tarkov. I didn't get into watching it.

I've been meaning to. I'm behind on a couple things because of Tarkov. I'm behind on It's Always Sunny, I think. I'm pretty sure I'm at least one episode behind on that. The last one I watched of that was the Noir episode where you go into Charlie's story and it's all black and white. I haven't seen The Mandalorian and obviously I haven't seen The Irishman yet.

Well, I won't spoil it in the slightest, but if I were rating the episodes, I'd say 1, 3, 2. In my opinion opinion it picked up because i didn't like the second one okay yeah yeah i like the nick nolte character like the uh the alien who's like i have spoken that's nick nolte really he's the he rides that mudhorn right is that the guy we're talking about i don't know i don't think it's a mudhorn but he does ride that weird creature like who no it's a completely different made-up name, Woody. It's another CGI monster he rides.

It doesn't make a fuck. But yeah, he's the guy with the huge nostrils, and he ends sentences with, I have spoken. Doesn't the Mandalorian have a catchphrase? I forget it, but I picked up on him saying something as well. He's very matter-of-fact. I like like that about him it's kind of fun yes yeah there's no bullshit with him i'm enjoying the show i don't think the mandalorian has the kind of legs that it'll have like a good season two and three and four but i'm liking it so far we'll see where it goes i saw they already pushed the button on season two of the Lord of the Ring series.

They're already going to keep that thing rolling on. Season one's not out. I guess they've looked at footage and maybe shown it to some executives or something. And they're like, yeah, go ahead and start rolling on part two of this. This is going to work. Well, that's good. Yeah, I'm excited. That's Amazon, right?

Shit, I don't know. I think so. I'm not positive. Definitely not. It's not Netflix. I think it's Amazon. It could have been HBO. I don't recall exactly. I remember just being happy that it was going to be made and that they were spending hundreds of millions of dollars on the whole thing.

The Irishman is, did you say three and a half hours? Three hours and 29 minutes, I think. I was going to watch it after this show, but I don't know if I want to be up until four. Yeah, same, same. I think I'll watch it tomorrow afternoon. I definitely want to see it. That is Thanksgiving.

You're not occupied? I'm not doing Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving. We'll do it on, I'm doing it on Saturday. We're working Saturday. Oh, what time? 12 to four. No, not doing it on Thanksgiving. We'll do it on... I'm doing it on Saturday. We're working Saturday. Oh. What time? 12 to 4. Not doing it on Saturday. Not doing it on Saturday. I have to make some phone

calls. Yeah, that's right. God damn it. I'm glad... We're not doing it on Sunday. I'm glad we had this little conversation. We're doing it on Saturday, not Sunday? I'm pretty sure because it's the 30th right otherwise it'd be the wrong month i might have to do sunday because i i have a family

thanksgiving on saturday also well i'm flexible actually uh let me let me pinch his right now and i wouldn't have changed it for myself i could have changed my but it sounds like taylor's is thing is probably not at his house. No, it's not at my house. And it's like my dad's side always shifts it to the Saturday afterwards to avoid any conflicts. So I would feel

very bad. I could check a calendar, but if I recall correctly, Sunday is actually December and we made it Saturday so it would be in the right month. Yeah, people should be okay with one day difference. We usually do Sunday, but we'll check. Yeah.

We're explaining it to them right now and I know three or four of those guys, I can PM them. Usually they're pretty flexible. But yeah, looks like Taylor and I both have Thanksgivings on Saturday, so it'd be very helpful if we move things to sunday and sunday is usually pretty open for people i feel like i'm open on both days it's all fine nobody is missing our chat for church like

that one person is in the mess just like i keep keep I'm paying the $50 and I've missed every single one because I just got to get my fill of Christ. Like nobody is like that. That was one of the coolest parts about becoming like a real adult is like, oh, my God. Sundays are open. Kyle, tell me I'm crazy. Would you be surprised if when Taylor had kids, he brought church back into his life? Yeah, I'd be surprised. Okay taylor had kids he brought church back into his life yeah i'd be surprised um okay yeah i i think so um i think it it only it would depend how does it would depend on how his girlfriend felt about that sort of thing i think um he might and and and you know i wouldn't be blown away because maybe he he does see that and and i i would agree on this if if he felt this way

i think this that that um at its core most religions have a really good morality clause good message like hey be nice to people be cool you know don't be an asshole be nice to them they'll be nice to you. Live and let live. There's so many of those. Give us money. Yeah, give us money. Well, it's really about being generous. Because if you give them the church money, then the church...

See, the Catholic church is different than the churches that Taylor and I went to. Our church is like, when you gave my church money, the only person who's actually getting paid was the preacher. And it's like, well, shit, that's this guy's job. He's spending all week coming up with these sermons. And he really is clearly doing it because he comes prepared. He doesn't show up like looking all hungover from staring at me. God. God, am I right?

Jesus Christ. I'd like us all to bow our heads and pray with me. Lord, take my hangover away. Our priest was an alcoholic. Reach into my stomach and take out the poison that I imbibed on it. Lord, I ask that you punish the woman who invented Airborne, who's doing nothing to help with my hangover. Lord, reach into my pants and cure

whatever it is that burns down there before i get home to nelly what is that thing called that people go to before they get married you know marriage counseling it's like that but it's from a priest um i think it's didn't you do this thing i did uh i just forgot that no we don't we don't i've been married a long time i'm not going to that that sounds dumb i what do you know about getting pussy priest fucking nothing nothing if i need tips on you know the playground schedules i'll come to you but yeah imagine going to your priest about like your your sex life with your wife it might that would be terrible. It might be called pre-cana.

Have you tried giving her a lot of wine and candy? The guy that did our pre-cana was an alcoholic. She doesn't like candy. He was awesome. So he did what? You want me or Kyle? No, I'm saying he was an alcoholic. Yeah, yeah.

He was like the party and priest and everyone loved him he'd go to every wedding he could and just get fucking loaded on on the free booze and even if they weren't free booze the priest would get free booze that was like a thing and um and like he was actually recovering alcohol trying to tax the family but but when he like it was sort of a growth experience he shared with us about the evils of alcohol. And how, yeah, he's like, didn't do women, but I sure did wine. And he would just fucking overindulge in all that stuff. But it was kind of cool. A flawed guy can teach you more.

Yeah, for sure. But it's funny that you're saying this guy in particular was like this and was getting loaded at these events. I have a lot of Catholic family, and a lot of my friends went to Catholic schools, and it's a known thing that priests will go to these things and just get tanked, just go and get nice and tipsy and just be like blessing shit.

I think that's probably one of the the funner parts of what they're doing pre-con it was cool like i'm glad i overall was like i'm not a big religion guy but this was a positive experience it it went from like friday night to sunday you sort of lived at the church and uh of course they separate you from your future wife but um they give you these topics to talk about and you talk about deep shit. Now, Jackie and I had covered most of this. Some people literally like engage and ready to be married without having discussed whether they'd have children first or philosophies on finances and shit like that. Yeah.

Right. Taylor's smarter than some of these guys were, but some of the other stuff like leaving finance to random chance, the church actually suggested this suggested this like give us all your money and then if you run into hard times probably god will just come through and people were raising their hands like that's been my experience i gave my money to the church my window like a baseball went through the window and then sure enough there was money in my coat pocket and we fixed the window it's like ah this isn't a financial plan I can get behind. Taylor, you'll appreciate

this. They suggested the pullout method. Ah, pretty smart. Pretty smart. And also, it's like, I found money in my coat pocket. It's like, you fucking retard. That was already your money. Yes, yes. You had lost that money. They thought God

gave it to them. Look at the Peter Popoff clips. I think we've talked about that a long time ago. That was already your money. Yes. Yes. You had lost that money. They thought God gave it to them. Look up the Peter Popoff clips. I think we've talked about that a long time ago. Peter Popoff clips on YouTube of him selling like holy water. And I think we did like a whole bit about that. But saying things like buy this water and your bills will be paid. And then it'd be like some Southern woman like, I didn't believe him.

I had $14 in my name. I had $17,000 in credit card debt. I bought the water, dumped it all over my credit card. And as far as I know, the collectors aren't coming anymore. They're coming. Although they could have turned my phone off. I have a video yeah i think taylor will really appreciate this oh this is the sort of this is the sort of thing that that would be a good bit for your twitch like if you watched like videos like this and did your own uh like like just basically just copy this i'm at zero ready set play the patrol goes silent occasionally stopping to listen

they must wait and listen an uncertain time the attack is on to intimidate their opponents the aggressors scream and jump. Several males corner an enemy female. It's a ferocious attack and she's looking to escape with her life. A few exhausted stragglers are still arriving. There are 30 of them and they're specialist hunters. Desperate times require desperate measures. Go for it!

What did he say? That's really funny. What did they say at the end? I think she said, go for it! I'm not sure. Their favorite prey are discounted 32-inch Vizio televisions. Have you guys ever done a Black Friday like that? No, fuck that.

No, no, I haven't. I get on the internet and then do that. 4K TVs are cheap as shit this year. One time I did it, but I didn't have a good plan, right? So I walk in circuit city everyone's making a beeline to like their tvs or pcs or whatever it is that they had figured out and i'm just looking around to see what's good and i didn't get anything i'm like oh power strips are kind of cheap and then like i saved 60 cents on a surge protector. All day long

I went from store to store, but there's only good deals the first five minutes of the day. And what is the cost of dignity? I wouldn't know. $87! They've traded every ounce of human

ingenuity and dignity for this game. They're getting Jesus is King from Kanye West, and they don't even realize it's available online. Online I'll do a little bit. I'll just monitor the sales and maybe get some. Kyle, are you looking to say something? I forgot it now.

Oh, okay. I lost it. Yeah, I don't want the something? I forgot it now. I lost it. I don't want the dignity of them going in there. You're going to fucking... Is it worth getting caught in one of those videos seizing something out of a pregnant woman's arms because you really wanted that? And the way they always run those.

Yeah, they'll be like, what are you watching onto this for? Now, the baby was in my possession as I purchased the TV and it's mine now. It had a barcode. It had a barcode. That was for its onesie. I don't care. I got him for $14.

I'd be a fool not to keep the child. Does it bother you that the police are outside waiting for you? No. No, not at all. Kyle, has the interest in the kit car faded a little bit or like what's your thought on that currently cows now i just haven't bothered doing anything with it because i gotta ask permission to like go to that part of the the state so it's like it's a super annoying thing so like can't really do that right i didn't think about that yeah because he's just outside hey can i go work on my car today again like i don't know how that

would even work that's true yeah yeah how long you two years oh a short two years woody just a just a just a couple trips well son one son, one year, 11 months now. Hey. Making progress. Nobody knows how to look forward. When you think about it, that's only like 2.5, 3% of your life. Jesus.

Oh. Yeah. Oh. It might just be a year. I don't know. I've got to look into that more. When I get closer to a year i don't know i've got it i've got to uh look into that more um you know when i get closer to a year i'll see i i think i i've been told that like you know as long as you don't have any um violations and you've been a good boy that like you can go back before the judge after a year and say hey i don't have any violations i've been a good boy here's a letter from my um probation officer they say i'm a. Here's a letter from my probation officer. They say I'm a okay. Here's a letter from the drug prevention people that say that I'm not insane or an addict.

How about turning me loose? And I think they will after you do like 50% of your thing. So it could be 11 months from now. So that'd be nice. Good. Yeah. I hope it gets over as soon as possible for you. Yeah. Whatever. It's not so bad. Meet interesting people, hang out with some government employees. I get to go through metal detectors a lot. Living the dream. That sounds a lot cool.

I pee in a lot of cups these days. That's fun. Sometimes I do that for fun. Just pee in a... Sometimes you gotta go and the raid is on and I don't have time to make it to that hall fun. Just pee in a... Sometimes you got to go and the raid is on and I don't have time to make it to that hall bathroom. I had company over like a couple, like a week or two ago. And like on my previous workout,

I was like really in the zone and feeling it and I wanted to get my sets done. I had like an empty water bottle down there and I was like, I'm just going to piss in this. I'm just going to fill this most of the way up and get right back to hitting it. And I kept telling, I'm just going to piss in this. I'm just going to fill this most of the way up and get right back to hitting it. And I kept telling myself throughout the workout as I'm pacing around between sets, I'm like, you got to remember to take that upstairs.

You got to remember to throw your piss bottle away. This is like straight up incel shit you're doing right now. And I forgot. And then I had company over. And they're a good friend couple so it didn't matter but my buddy was like like they're taking some hockey shots down there in that same area and he's like hey is this a bottle of piss and i was like yeah yeah yeah it's a bottle of pee i forgot about it don't judge because i'm in the paramotor world like these guys do van life van life and paramotoring apparently are like peanut butter

and jelly parrots and keats parrots and peas anyway so i'll go in and it's like ah i don't trust that gatorade bottle the label says blue but the fluid is citrus that's not that's not gatorade first of all ted I'm more concerned with your hydration. Let me do an advertisement here to all the folks about Blue Chew. Let's talk about sex. Good sex, guys. Remember the days when you were always ready to go? Now you can increase your performance and get that extra confidence in bed.

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They're like, Woody, how will you ever bring 18 donuts back from the car? I say, don't you worry. What do I do with my hands? But Woody, what are you going to do with all those donut holes? Squatting and... I thought these were powdered donuts.

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a nice cock ready to get hard. Except for the dozen female viewers. More blood flow down there can't be a bad thing, ladies. I mean, I'm not a doctor. I'm not a doctor. There's probably good, though.

I wonder what does happen. Do their clits get harder? Yeah. You know more? Well, it's just a vasodilator. I know what I just said. I've heard that it's good to work out on any kind of vasodilator because it makes your veins pop like there was some some post i saw on like bodybuilding.com which was like yeah that was

part of the ridiculous website what that's part of the cocktail that bulzerian was on when he had his heart attack you know what was it oh i don know. Viagra. Along with like his other stuff. Doesn't he do other things that aren't necessarily... This was many years ago. He was like 20, 25 or something when this happened. When he had his heart attack.

I've never fucking taken it and felt like palpitations or anything. Well, he was working out. Let's see. I'm sure I mean, when someone's on a cocktail of things, it's hard to pinpoint where the issue was. Did he have a stroke? No, it was a heart attack.

At least my dick's hard. The right side of my body is long. Right side of my dick? Hard as fuck. Left side? I'd prefer not to talk about it dr erwin goldstein here prescribes a lot of viagra for women the dr erwin goldstein i trust him uh he does my taxes i'm just looking i i think he's saying it helps for libido i'm scanning yeah yeah it helps for with libido uh getting lubed lack of orgasm or

achieving orgasm yeah interesting coke and viagra damn ladies pot coke and viagra yeah isn't that hilarious they're like but which one of the three heart attack it's like yeah it's the cocaine it's absolutely the cocaine i mean a vasodilator can't help. What is... Is cocaine like a vasoconstrictor or something? What does cocaine do to your veins? I know it makes your heart overwork because it's like a stain.

Yeah, it's making your heart work hard. I don't know about your... It was doing vascularly, but in any case, he had a couple heart attacks at a very young age. Well, I shouldn't trust bodybuilding.com posts because they also had – have you guys seen that meme from like 10, 12 years ago on bodybuilding.com where people get in an argument over how many days there are in a week?

No. Where they're like, well, I work out four times a week every other day. They're like, well, that's not possible. You'll be working four times one week and then three the next because every other day. And they're like, no no but i start on sunday so sunday tuesday thursday saturday they're like yeah and then and they're just like so long is this thread arguing about how many days in a week and it's i don't know that's funny it doesn't matter just say you work out two days on one

day off or whatever every other day i think he works doesn't matter. Just say you work out two days on, one day off or whatever. Or every other day, I think he works out. That's how you say it. I work out every other day. But the guy was peeved because he was saying, I work out four times a week. I work out every other day. You work out four times a week every other week. See, you're agreeing with the other guy in the post.

This guy would not stop. Yeah, I think that's from like 2007. Some people can't math. with the other guy in the post, but this guy would not stop. Yeah, I think that's from 2007 or something. Some people can't math. How is Ice's stream doing, speaking of bodybuilders from 2007? I don't really tune in. Blade's really the thing that I get

linked to these days. I think Ice had to tone I'm guessing, I would guess that maybe he had to tone things down a bit with all the craziness that was going on. Lots of legal issues and lawsuits and stuff and getting found liable for damages, all those nuts he was having at mansions he was renting out. It became a whole thing. And then the toxicity of his audience. They really wanted to

hurt him at times just to see him bleed because that was part of the show for them. You've got to cultivate an audience that can get a dark humor, but at the same time, like, hey, we're on the same team here, right? Like, what's your problem? Don't be fooled. Yeah, it's easy. When you're the audience, it's easy to forget these are like

real life living breathing people who after the camera goes off are just like you yeah yeah i haven't heard much about ice at all i don't know what's up or what's new with blade i'm sure he's made a full recovery well i i don't think so yeah i don't know what his what his current jam is is there any new news about him or no i don't know his legs are turning green man i i don't know his shoe was green in that picture too so we don't know kidding around yeah yeah that was that was some sort of um camera thingy but he's got open sores open wounds on his all over him you know that that's not a good sign like i don't have anything like that how long do you guys have to have an open sore before you go to the doctor like like one day like one day if it's not something i recognize

is like like like if you get like a a blister or like a some road rash that's that's different but if something just happens like all of a sudden you're like, oh, the flesh seems to be gone here. Yeah, really, I would call the doctor immediately if I had something like that that I didn't know the cause of. Yeah. I have open sores all the time. It was from jumping down that rock.

Like, that's a different thing. Yeah. And it starts to heal pretty quickly, I would imagine. Like the next day you wake up. Inexplicable sores is a whole different thing than like the things I mentioned, you know, blisters and road rash and scrapes and scratches and cuts and general things. You're like, ah, yeah, I did it this way. I did it that way. But if all of a sudden you wake up and part of you is missing. Big problem.

Big problem. Big problem. When I got the syphilis, I got a little sore right here. And it was not an open sore. It was just like a discoloration part right here, like on my collarbone. And I was like, what's that? I was like, ah, I bet that's syphilis. Better get that taken care of. I'm proud of you that you knew it right away. Eh, more or less.

It's core competency. I've never had syphilis, but i would also be startled by syphilis all i know about syphilis is the short term it's no big deal at all in the long term it's horrific you know like yeah if you were a cowboy from the 1800s you'd be fucked al capone lived in a time where the the cure existed and yet he avoided it and and it it literally hollows out your brain it's uh it's like a neuro something or another neurodegenerative yeah something like that um but there's like there's like three phases like phase one is when you're still contagious and that that doesn't last all that long okay after a year you're not contagious anymore like you can't pass it on

and then there's a and then there's a second period where like it starts getting a little bit worse and then there's a third period where you just go insane your brain starts degrading but it's just it's just a fucking penicillin shot and it cures it yeah wasn't he so crazy he was like trying to fish into pools and stuff like he was he was in alcatraz during the time when he was really losing it he died in there did you you have a conversation with the suspected source of syphilis about it? He wasn't that kind of guy. I have no idea who that would be. Okay.

That would be difficult to track down. I've never had that conversation, but it'd be super... Is it super awkward or is it like should it be awkward for her like hey i have syphilis and i think you gave it to me um shall i be embarrassed about this i i would have no idea who it was but you know right but hypothetically if you oh i wouldn't be embarrassed it's like like hey we need to go to the doctor gets a penicillin Oh, I wouldn't be embarrassed. It's like, hey, we need to go to the doctor and get some penicillin.

Right. Yeah. And like, we're in this together. If any of us should embarrass, I wouldn't think it'd be me. Yeah. And like STDs aren't usually, are often not an indicator of some sort of impropriety in the relationship, you know, because they can like lie dormant for months or years and then present symptoms, you know, because they can like lie dormant for months or years and then present symptoms, you know, so somebody might be married and all of a sudden, you know, something pops up and they're like, oh, you cheated on me.

And she's like, I haven't had sex with another man in four years. It's like, yeah, that's all. That's what it that's that works. That's gonna be a fucking rube to believe that it's the truth, though. You know why I think it's often not the truth because i feel like i take a course of sump the sill in every like 12 or 18 months for something right you know like yeah yeah i don't know if that's effective though oh okay i mean i again we have to say it three times a show but i'm not a doctor but but i know that that it seemed like a big fat it was

two big fat shots they gave me and they were both very expensive of some like fancy psyllium i see i just read online for what that's worth yeah syphilis rarely gets bad in people anymore because somewhere along the way they take a something psyllium and it cures both your whatever you took it for and your dormant syphilis too i read something about how you could cure your syphilis at home i think it's with this powder they use on fish tanks that's some sort of an antibiotic that makes sense yeah you can buy antibiotics for your fish yeah i think that people were treating their syphilis with that stuff. And I was just like, I got $300.

Yeah, and I'm just processing. And I'm like, yeah, and if fish live in it, it's not poison. Yeah, yeah. Although maybe you turn whatever you have into like a super antibiotic resistant strain. Now it's syphilates. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The world is fucked. What's the stack ranking of the least bad STDs? Chlamydia, probably the lowest.

Is it though? Don't you have some negative painful side effects from that? Isn't that the one where it burns when you pee? Only if you don't get it taken care of quickly. Well, I mean, I think we're going to have to apply that to all of these diseases. Because if you get all of them treated quickly, then none of them, then it's hard to stack rank them, right?

What's the clap? Let's go to phase one of each STD, and that's what we'll compare. Chlamydia is the clap. So I think syphilis might be the least severe I can think of. Phase one, nothing happens. You hardly know you have it. You take some penicillin for your runny nose, which is probably wrong people do it and your syphilis is gone yeah how do we rank herpes because that's forever see that's forever herpes the impact is really low but it's forever which

you know stack ranks it higher for me yeah obviously hiv aids the king of that mountain right is there anything worse than that not immediately i don't think so like hiv people are like it's no big deal now you know they treat it to the point where you don't even know you have it you test negative all right that's cool but you still take the medicine right that means like means don't want it. I saw something about that too, because I know exactly what you're talking about, where people are like, oh, HIV, not even a big to-do anymore. And then I saw someone else post an article and was like, yeah, but you're going to have this your whole life, and that medication you take to keep the HIV at bay, if you take heart medication or something later in life,

like it can interact and really fuck you like shit like that. I think it's expensive. It might definitely used to be expensive. I could be at a date. Yeah. But it's like, yeah, it's not even a big deal.

You just have an extra mortgage. Yeah. I, I think like, um, doesn't, what does gonorrhea do? Uh, drippy, right right that's kind of gross it is but everything that comes from your dick is a little gross

uh what are the symptoms of it oh gonorrhea is the most or no gonorrhea is the clap my bad chlamydia is okay so what's chlamydia do uh i'm on gonorrhea right now i'll read uh gonorrhea is pain in the lower abdomen pelvis testicles or vagina oh um not my abnormal vaginal discharge discharge from the penis or increased vaginal okay that one's getting bumped up three notches all right let's see what was it discharge from my penis gonorrhea says very common More than 3 million cases per year Chlamydia Common More than 200,000 cases a year

Symptoms, pain areas in the eyes Lower abdomen, pelvis, testicles, vagina Can occur during sexual intercourse Abnormal vaginal Okay this is pretty similar Also common eye discharge or spotting So It seems pretty similar. Also common eye discharge or spotting. So I don't like that. It seems pretty similar to gonorrhea.

Yeah, I'll take the syphilis nine times out of 10. Syphilis, rare. I like this image. Stage one, three to 90 days after exposure, a sore. Stage two, four to 10 weeks after initial infection, a body rash stage three three to 15 years after initial infection internal organs affected so yeah i never had a sore i had it was like a it was like about the size of my thumb just a and it would

only show up when i got out of like a hot shower um it was like like up on my collarbone it was just like oh this this spot there's a little pink oval here you know what's this about yeah you also with syphilis you'll experience fatigue itching mouth ulcer rash on the palms and soles sore throat i've heard of the rash yeah yeah i think that's like the number one most common weight loss or rectal i'm safe uh or rectal lining inflammation yeah that's how you know all these are pretty similar yeah no fun no fun now how common is hiv it took me so long i don't want to know how you said weight loss or rectal lining i'm safe and i'm like what is it about tay Taylor's rectal lining that made us know?

Oh, it's top notch. It's top notch. And I also, after I take a shit, I don't notice rectal lining. Can you tell us more about his rectal? Is there a rectal lining reference that I'm not catching? And then I realized I had to skip. No, I was just making a joke about being overweight. Yeah. HIV.

Oh. Okay. That's actually more rare than I thought what was that kyle i'm just wondering do you do all your shopping at the blues gift shop my grandma got me this hoodie that's too big for me and i'm wearing it out of respect for her you're not gonna make me feel bad i don't believe any of that no i do have a ton of a fuck ton of blues stuff but and it's and it's like when you're when you like stuff like that it's the go-to present for everyone yeah it's just like what would he like just get a fucking blues thing it's fine i've got so many blue shirts and things when people

attribute like one thing to your entire personality don't you love that like like kitty always gets like fucking british flag bullshit and she's like i know where i'm from the fuck i just thought you might like a tea kettle you probably don't have one i've got 50 this one's shit so many cows everything's got a fucking British flag on it fucking blankets and mouse pads and coffee cups and all that nonsense

like she is more than a British individual nope just that nope just that just that yep it's the only thing you are so what's your thing? Now that it's not guns. I don't know.

Me too. You could say paramotor. It's cooking for sure. If you want to get me a gift, and I actually would appreciate it. It's a cooking implement or a tool of some kind of appliance. Don't get cheap on me you show

up with some bullshit rachel ray cookware and i'm gonna turn my nose up real quick all right i like wusthof knives and i like copper kettles let's go that's the challenge right like with the whole paris stuff there's nothing cheap there aren't like a bunch of little six dollar items you could get me and so what are you going to get me a new reserve parachute for seven hundred dollars you know i'm very particular about it anyway like it's a very hard thing to pick on someone's behalf yeah i couldn't buy taylor goalie pads exactly they'd be the wrong ones and they can't even get you accessories for what you're like hey i bet woody would like some sort of aeronautical watch he's like actually um i have a watch that predicted that you were gonna say that it sent you an email yeah yeah like get out of here with that like give me a give me a fucking air king or something

like that but otherwise like we're done here yeah you know what i'd get for kyle would be some sort of very nice skin product because i know how much you enjoy those. I'd like a good scrub. A good body scrub. Maybe a loofah. That's actually a good one, Kyle. I ran out of body wash and shampoo the other week and if I'm being honest, I didn't get any for like three or four days and it was starting to get... I was just like water rinsing and doing that thing where you take the bottle of the... I undo the top of the three-in-one. I'm holding it under the shower,

filling it up and dumping it. My son does that. There's something in there that my girlfriend left in my shower that usually I only use. It's called Shea Sugar Scrub. I was like, this will get me through tough times. This is body wash.

Turns out it is not body wash. It's just sugar you rub all over your body. My skin and my calluses from lifting, unbelievably soft that day. So smooth, yeah. Didn't smell as good. Colin, when the shampoo runs low, he fills it with water, right? So then when I go to – I don't know why shampoo is not that cold, but if you put shampoo in your palm, it's not a big deal.

When it's so diluted deal. When you like, when it's so diluted that I'm pouring like a pint of shampoo water on my head, it's just cold water and it's not, it's awful. I am. You do that like a quick step back and forth. I'm a EDC,

everyday carry, right? It's guys who like knives and flashlights and special key chains and shit like that. I'm into it. I have a friend, we call him luscious. I'm into it. I have a friend. We call him Luscious. He's into it too.

So I was like, Luscious, here's the scoop. I only like the right things. I've always wanted an out-the-front knife. Do you guys know what an out-the-front knife is? Oh, yeah, like a Microtech. Yeah, Microtech. I don't know what that is. So, you know, a switchblade, you sort of press a button and it flips out from the side.

This one pokes out the front. And I've always wanted one. It's not super useful for me like a Leatherman would be, but it's jewelry for guys. It's cool. Microtech make good ones. Yeah. So I was starting to pick one out. And the problem with having a Christmas present like this is I literally provide Jackie a link and she buys the money and the money like it's

hard it hardly feels like a present it's just a really slow purchase I was like luscious that's really funny it's like buying things with a middleman like luscious here's my wife's phone number I want you to pick out this thing and I'm asking you to buy it for me I'm asking you to give this link to Jackie so that it's a surprise for me on Christmas. Anyway, I was with him last weekend. And I'm an idiot because he's handing me knives. Like, because we do this.

We like exchange knives and look at what's in our... And I'm like, you like this one? It's big. Like, yeah, that's a chef's knife. It has a thing. And when you do this, it doesn't get your knuckles. And I'm like, but it's in your pocket. And a chef's knife it has a thing and when you do this it doesn't get your knuckles and i'm like but it's in your pocket and and next day a different knife next day a different knife i'm like did you bring three knives on this trip what is wrong with you like

kind of fucking psycho brings a different knife for every day i have my tools and he's like yeah woody why do you think i'm doing this why do you think every day I give you a different knife and ask for your opinion on it? He's measuring what I want in a knife so that when he gives Jackie the suggestion, he's like, ooh, Woody didn't like the big one. Noted. Woody liked the spring load on this one. Yeah. And I was like, oh, he's taking this so seriously. So it made me feel really good

about luscious is uh sounds like a good guy he is a good taking that taking it seriously yeah it is funny i never could uh microtex aren't cheap though they're they're they're kind of expensive 400 wow right yeah there's some knockoffs on amazon though yeah he all the knives he handed me they're mostly bench maids that he was handing me but he was just you know put it in your hand gets solicited an opinion and it informs his choice i need a microtech uh combat baton that's what i need that's so funny yeah they're three or four hundred bucks have you ever seen the gigantic one they made? I think I have. I think it made its way onto Reddit. Yeah, like truly gigantic.

Like, closed, it was the size of a chest. Human chest, that is. Like, so big. And keep in mind, Taylor, when you push a button, a blade is going to shoot out the end of this thing. So big that I would be afraid to be around when someone opened it. Right? Oh, I've seen that. Like, are you going to open your microtech?

Let me back up. They should have called it the macrotech. They should have called it the macrotech. They should have called it the macrotech, but somebody else probably owns that. That's probably some software companies. They don't even have the fucking price of this knife on here, which means it's going to be pricey. Yeah, they're about $400.

They're very cool. I had a tiny one and I lost it. I've lost so many knives, like in fields, because I'm in a field, get the knife out, cutting boxes, opening stuff, sitting on the tailgate. Now the truck moves. I've become very particular about loaning knives out. I give instructions. I feel like an asshole, but here's what I hate.

Hey, Woody, can I borrow your Leatherman? Yeah, sure. Where is it now? Oh, yeah, it's on the grass in a pile next to some other things oh no it's gone yeah the fuck so when i'm like all right an eagle came down when you return this i want you to put it in my hand don't put it by my truck don't put it in the grass my hand is how we return knives and uh i a feeling nobody borrows your knife anymore. I got a feeling nobody has to borrow your knife anymore.

That's the real trick. They still do. Yeah. Nobody ever wants to borrow anything from you again. When you bring this back, look in my eyes. When you bring it back. I do. I'm like, yeah, put it back. Take this linseed oil with you. I want a thin

layer. It's not aed oil with you. I want a thin layer. It's not a fancy. If you look at my leather, it's all worn. Half the paint's gone and stuff. But I like them more than that. I like old shit. I like it. That thing's done so many things for me at this point.

And yeah, don't just go, right. It's next to the shipping crate on the ground. Like, fuck, that's not how you return a knife. It's not cool for people to do that. My dad's always been into Leatherman. He carries one on his belt at all times. And they have that lifetime warranty thing, you know. And usually if you just

break a blade off, which happens so often, they'll just send it back with a new blade. They'll just take it apart, throw a new blade in. But if you break one badly enough, like my dad has squeezed stuff with him enough to the point where like, you know, the plier part, like one of the needle nose breaks just breaks and uh you know what looks like you could use a new one and they'll just send you a new fucking leather man and they're not cheap i've got one company i want to see what they do for me here's how i broke it i i lost it it turns

out it was in the bed of the tacoma. So at least twice we loaded up a full bed of wood for the fireplace. And then like, I don't know, two loads later, I'm like, huh, there's my Leatherman broken. It doesn't open properly anymore. It's had a couple cords of wood put on it. And let's see how they fix it. Mail that thing to you. They'll send you a brand new one back. They're super cool about that. These are so much more expensive than I thought they would be. Leatherman or Microtex? Leatherman. I've seen Leathermans all over. I don't have one, but

goddamn. You might not want the most expensive one. In my opinion, their most expensive ones are usually their biggest ones with the more tools in it, and that's not what I want in my pocket. I like the juice. I like the Skeletool. If you get a Wave with 13 different tools in it then big to me yeah his has a holster you know yeah yeah if you're a holster people have their

own preferences right but that's my take on it yeah they're cool though you know i don't know how many times we've been like doing something he's like aha and it's like fucking right in my pocket whether it's a screwdriver or a saw or a file or the pliers it's a suit it's a swiss army knife but actually use useful every day i use all the time i'm like all you regular people are just going through lives trying to use your fingers for everything like good luck tightening that philips head with your thumbnail you know yeah it's super useful i need to do something with my old graphics card i don't know what to do i think they're worth about 450 or 500 or something like that i could just

slap it up on ebay but yeah just ebay it i don't know i don't know what to do it's uh radar podcast five stars on whatever you're listening to this on and maybe you'll get this but probably maybe you'll get it or maybe he'll send it to me so I can optimize South Park. Thing's been in there for a year. Look at that. Oh, yeah. Oh, I see what that is.

Nice. That's the 1080 Ti? Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm using right now. I'm hoping to skip a gen and get the, what'll it be, 2180? I don't know. 2080 Super or something like that. 2180? I don't know. 2080 Super or something like that. You know, I don't know.

So 2080 Ti is what you have, right? Yeah. That's what follows, 1080 Ti. What follows 2180 Ti? The 3080. I don't know. It depends. They're like Xbox.

They're like, we gotta go different. PlayStation changed up their whole coding system. PlayStation went from 3 to 4. And I admire that. NVIDIA went from 7, 8, 9, 10, 20. The fuck? Yeah.

You're not using that, obviously, right now. That's still a really good one if it's worth $400 or $500. What do you currently have? i have a 2080 ti which is like a generation ahead it's the sort of the newest best card it it's like the corvette of cards there are some ferraris but you've got to we got to spend like twice as much for like 10 more performance it seems like to me and again like i don't't know a ton about this stuff. Did it fix the particular problem you were having? I'm an idiot. Tarkam?

Is that what it is? Tarkov. Tarkov? You were aiming down sights and you lost FPS, right? Yeah, you still lose FPS, but you don't lose so many that it's frustrating. It's a very intensive game on your hardware. It's not optimized at all.

It's very poorly optimized. Beta? Still. Yeah. Some of this game has been in beta for like ever. And yeah, it's a great game. I love it. I look forward to seeing what they're doing with it in the future. And you know, I'm going to play later tonight

probably. I'm finding different ways to play it. There's a real shitty way to play it that people um look down upon um and i it's called um they call them hatchlings basically what it means is you go and play with nothing but a hatchet and uh so you can't lose anything but you've got that container of like like that keister stash of stuff that you can't lose if somebody kills you. So you just jump in. You get the best stuff you can find.

You throw it in there. So you're risking nothing, but you could get rewarded. And there are guns to find out in the world. So potentially like you could find a frag grenade and kill a boss character and take his cool setup and then go kill a bunch of characters and have lots of fun while having having not risked anything and that seems to be looked down upon in this like community but in rust it's sort of like that's the coolest thing you can do is to start with a bow and arrow and or like an ioka and creep up on that ak-47 guy and kill him get his ak kill all of his buddies take all their shit and go like zero to hero. But they seem to really look

down upon the hatchet runs. Hmm. I wouldn't assume that. It seems like you get... I don't know. It's an only-use-me-blade approach. You're not going to kill anybody with a hatchet. I don't think. Oh, okay.

Especially not those AIs, right? Taylor's not, or people aren't i miss it nobody knows nobody i'm not i'll just say that i'm not um you know i'm not trying to hit anybody with a hatchet that take the hatchet because you can't lose your melee weapon no matter what that's another one of the two things you can't lose the stuff that's in your case you're in my case it's a gamma case and your melee weapon those are just yours so i'll just go in there with bare bones and make money really quickly and i've got and one of the things i put in my case is my key chain with all my keys that i've found and i can open certain unlock certain doors i've been really fortunate i've found some rare keys so i can go in open this super rare loot spawn get this stuff and then just die,

and I don't care, and make a lot of money really quickly. But I'm new, and I need that money to fuel my actual gaming sessions. Because when I go out and lose $400,000, and they're like, all right, let's do another one. It's like, all right, let me spend another $400,000, and then I lose another one. It's like, all right, well, let me run a little low here, boys.

I only got $2 million. All right, let's go well, let me run a little low here, boys. I only got two million. All right, let's go again. You know, you could run out of money if things kept going poorly, like eight games in a row, I'd be broke. On WoodyCraft Factions, the honorable way was to bust into your base and steal it through the hole in the wall.

The other way was to pretend I'm your friend for six or eight weeks, get into your base, and then rob you. Six or eight weeks, that's so far. Yes. And what's interesting, you think they're after your stuff, but after a while,

what they're really after is the status. I'm trying to have defeated your faction. It's like the heist. And it's funny, inside raiding became less of an issue because they're like, yeah, you got my spawners, but now you're an asshole. And no one respects you. And you get put down on the forums and the community. It's interesting to me.

When we bet, right? Oftentimes I'm betting $1 or $5. I'm betting a trophy. And that's what this stuff is. There's no trophy in inside rating. You're lame. What? I was wrapping up the thought.

I'm betting the trophy. You're trying to get something that you're proud of, not really that thing. The only inside rating that I've really seen in Russ was one of the guys who comes to our hangouts. See you guys Sunday, by the way, for the hang hangout got that all taken care of okay perfect uh uh scum uh or scamillionaire he uh we were playing and like we were just trying to like get the meetup on the map and he made friends with some actual children like 12 year olds or something like that oh and uh and i think that they saw him like

kill a bunch of people and they were impressed by his pvp skills and they're like hey do you want to play with us and he's like yeah sure little man have you ever been on your own private island we love an island i bet you would i do like to see my buddy Jeffrey's oval-shaped penis. Shaped like an egg. Shaped like an egg. That came out today somehow. Why do we know that? Why do we know the shape of Jeffrey Epstein's penis?

Jesus Christ. Egg-shaped? Anyway, sorry. He made friends with kids. Yeah, like an egg. Well, his dick's like two and a half inches long and right the only word i can think to describe it is just eggish i can't think of a big egg-shaped dick uh like an ostrich egg woody that's just a football that doesn't happen that is a football

yeah oh how would you like he tries he tries to say that it's like an ostrich egg, but it's right there in the transcripts. Fucking hilarious. I give him shit for it. As long as he doesn't keep letting me come back, I'm down. Anyway, sorry I interrupted you. Oh, yeah, yeah. He befriended the children. They let him in his base.

He took all the most expensive things, and then he ran like the wind. Perfect. I picked him up on the shoreline in a boat, and we sped away to their chagrin. He's handing out life lessons. Life lessons for sure. They were writing some mean shit in the chat. And he was just like, yeah, it's ours now. We took all your things.

First of all, don't trust a guy in a video game named Scamillionaire. Nope. He goes by Scum for short. He picked that name for himself. short. He picked that name for himself. Yeah, my username, it's TricksterKing69. What did

Cartman make his name? Little Kid Lover? Or something like that? Something like that, yeah. A little kid lover. Oh, when he was talking to those like pedophiles online yeah the nambla folk i am eight inches dude this guy's a midget no little people i'm sorry kyle you made him making friends with the mature people oh god it's crazy i answered killing themselves in the middle of it.

Oh, no. Idiots in Cars, right on the lips. Would you like to watch this together? It's only 17 seconds. When the title said right on the lips, I thought this was about Tom Brady and his son, but this is something different, so I'm down, yeah. All right.

Are you guys ready? We're going to get the volume adjusted. I'm ready. Is it music? I didn't get the volume adjusted. I'm ready. Is it music? I didn't hear the volume. No, I just... It started at zero, so I wanted to have some. Ready, set, play. Oh, no. You dumb bitch.

Oh, no. I know what's gonna happen. Oh, fuck. I was wrong. God damn. What did you think was going to happen? She thought she was going to get pulled down the street. Are you even going to... Are there even wheels on that? I love the comment chain.

Twat swat. Pussy whipped. Clam slam. A meat curtain hurting. Toughing the muffin. Twat swat. Pussy whipped. Clam slam. A meat curtain hurting. Toughing the muffin. Snapper clapper. Taco smocko. Pound pound.

Crack thwack. Clit split. It goes on. Pussy smushy. Purple clam. Taco rocko. The fish squish. My pussy lips. Clapping the nanny wait what flap slap beaver cleaver slip cleaver that's a good one red snapper i like that

the clam slam i bet that hurt i've seen so many guys get a shot to the balls turnabout fair play yeah Turnabout. Fair play. Yeah. Turnabout's fair play. And maybe stuff like that doesn't happen enough. A little bit of empathy. A little more clam slamming. While we're doing it, this segment of PK is called Right on the Lips.

Topic number two, have you seen Tom Brady kissing his son? Oh, yes. And I've seen him kissing his father, too. This is a generational style of kiss. Oof. Kissing. Have you not seen it, Woody?

I feel like... He's a kiss... Yeah, your son on the lips kind of guy. I've heard it before, so I don't know if I saw it or... I feel like it might ring a bell. I'm going to find the video,. I'm going to find the video and I'm going to timestamp it. He's so excited after winning the Super Bowl that he's got to

tongue his dad. Turn off the audio just in case. I think there's some jazz playing. Like a little kind of playing in the background. You timestamped it on purpose? Yes, that's where we want to kick off cuz you ready yes ready set play Wow it really held that one there was suction there was too too long of a kiss. I wish the massage guy had been like, ah.

Like, really had a strong reaction. Like, ah! How old is that kid? Eleven. You know, I would say too old for tongue play with dad. Never too old. You're never going to be a champion if you don't give dad

a smack. And you could see the kid afterward as he's walking away, take a shirt and wipe his mouth. The kid wipes his mouth as he goes. Yeah. God, I'm so glad I've got this Super Bowl money coming to me when this guy croaks and my life is super great. But this is terrible. I don't like kissing my dad on the lip. Again, I don't know much about sports,

certainly don't know much about football, especially professional football, but is Tom Brady the greatest professional football player ever? I know I'm also not a football guy, but I was talking to someone who was, and he says that he's the most successful quarterback ever, but maybe not the most skilled. He's got these intangibles that are hard to measure.

Like he does well in the playoffs. Like Peyton Manning, for example, might be much, it would be better in a lot of ways, but you know, when the guy delivers in the playoffs, that counts for a lot. Peyton had to play Tom in the playoffs, so that was the problem. Not one-on-one though, right? So like it's a complicated thing. Tom Brady was on a lot. Peyton had to play Tom in the playoffs, so that was the problem. Not one-on-one, though, right?

It's a complicated thing. Tom Brady was on a lot of great teams. Now, apparently, he's kind of getting carried at this stage of his career, according to someone who seems to know more about football than me. Are the Patriots good this year? Seems like they're always good. Good, but I don't think they're favored. The Ravens

are on fire. The 49ers are on fire. The 49ers are on fire. The Patriots are 10-1. The Ravens are 9-2. Do the Ravens have seven wins in a row? Yeah, the Ravens have seven wins in a row. And the Patriots are struggling

on offense lately. I don't know. I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. The 49ers are also 10-1. The Saints are 9-2. I'm aware the Niners have had a good season. Do the Niners play the Ravens this weekend and they're not favored? Let me see. Let me find the odd. I think the Ravens...

I think the 49ers are like the first 10-1 team not to be the favorite in like a decade. Alright, so apparently they're giving the Ravens the highest percentage to win the Super Bowl this year with a 25.9% chance just ahead of the Patriots, 25.3, six tenths of a percentage ahead. Okay. So it should be a real big sporting event that I won't watch.

And then you've got the 49ers with a better record, about to play the Ravens, not favored. Cool. I just admire greatness at anything. If Tom Brady were the world's best shot put thrower and he just would have blown everybody away, or he was the best dart thrower and he just won more championships by a factor of two than anybody.

But he doesn't – a sport that's so competitive, a sport where it seems like quarterbacks especially like you know especially they're neat they get hurt a lot and their their older years get kind of sad and kind of embarrassing sometimes you know like like farb didn't didn't go out riding high through an interception if i remember correctly he went out with a dick pic he went out with a dick pic uh he's talking about coming back yeah no he's not he's he's got all that fucking what is it wrangler jeans money let's see brett farve i i did hear he was talking about coming back but goodness farve don't do that how was

his dick game was it good i'm gonna look it up ah he's now confirmed he's not coming back in in june of this year good point taylor Taylor. I'm going to bing that. Brett Favre penis. Yeah, can you link me if you find it first? Brett Favre's penis pictures are here. Oh, cool. I don't care about his pension. Get out of here.

Oh, I'm unimpressed. Are these doctored? Ooh, these are not good dick pics. Oh, let me turn safe search on. What was I thinking? Moderate, please. Do you even know me? Now, I'm seeing different aspect ratios on these pics.

I don't know what to believe. The one where it's in his hand, there is no girth to be had there. He subscribes to the Woodyody's gamer tag method of dick pics he's like probably my age got on some slack not looking good mr farve well having said that i'm sure he has an easier time getting chicks to hop on it than anyone else i know i'm pretty sure yeah it must be pretty easy but what do you what when you have a dick like that you don't make photographic evidence of it yeah you don't make a exactly hit the nail on the head you don't go i'm gonna take

pictures of my dick if your dick looks like this a dick like that should have a non-disclosure agreement yeah yeah oh man oh also not very good lighting not a good setting no nothing about that isn't it is attractive that man needs blue chew it looks like he took that picture for his doctor there could be a lot of growing that we don't know about got me yes mr farb i'm gonna need to see the shaft um if you could just i know this is a bit embarrassing but if you could just get it a bit worked up i really need to see how those blood vessels are healing after the impact last week but not too worked up we want it to plausibly pass for not hard for flaccid mr farve if you would have told me this was these were the dimensions of your penis prior to the photo i would have had you come in person i would have saved you the humiliation i burnt my phone mr farve have no

fear um and now you're selling fucking jeans that apparently have a big scoop for lots of penis room and people are gonna know you're lying. Wait, does he say that? Is there something about Wrangler? I think the U is like, oh, you can be more like you can lumberjack easier. Like you can squat and you can do

the Dennis Reynolds thing where he's like, you know, oh, I noticed you bought jean shorts. I bought jeans and cut them off. Now look at this. Like that kind of you know, oh, I noticed you bought jean shorts. I bought jeans and cut them off. Now look at this. It's just like, as far as it came, like that kind of mobility is what those Wranglers are offering. Well, they're so tight.

Like, you know, I grew up in the South. So like one of the cliques was like the Redneck Gang and they're very confused individuals. They're not sure if they're cowboys or farmers. So they're wearing like the, you had a uniform, right? You had a Carhartt jacket. They had a uniform. right you had a carhartt jacket they had a uniform you had the carhartt jacket the justin boots the wrangler jeans i don't know what kind

of wallet it was but it's the one that's very tall but not so wide and sticks out the back of your pocket like it's like a it's like a checkbook looks like a checkbook sticking out of the back of your pocket with or without chain um and uh definitely want your your skull stuck in your back pocket dip in your mouth and uh a hat from a middling sports team that plays college ball uh volunteers will work the tennessee volunteers that'll work yeah mizzou would have worked a fucking shitty team yeah yeah that that was the fucking gear setup if you're if you're getting kitted out if you're cosplaying as a as a franklin county redneck that that's

what you wear nc state had that year we also received votes nice yeah kind of a big we are not getting any votes i think we peaked at i think Mizzou peaked at like rank 23. And then this year it was like, yeah, this year it was like five and one or something. And they have gotten absolutely shit canned every single game. Yeah, I don't know if KTMT lost your quarterback and your, I think you lost a really good wide receiver. Yeah, yeah, something like that. That's a good year for State. If we spend any time in the rankings at all, that was an up year. Nice.

Georgia's four right now? Four? Is that what you were saying, Kyle? Three or four. UGA? Pardon me? They're four, I think. What are the rankings?

Yeah, Georgia's four. You got Ohio State, LSU, Clemson, Georgia. Alabama at five. That's the lowest I've seen them in years. Not that I follow this very closely, but damn. They are four, my mistake. Yeah, but so they have to play LSU. So I guess that's the first playoff game.

It's an SEC game. Essentially, essentially, yeah. And look, the way I view this sort of thing, it's like I think some people are like, oh, if we can squeeze by, if this happens, if that, look, no, we either win or we lose. If we win, then we deserve to go on and we deserve that top four ranking. We deserve a number one ranking potentially. If we lose, then they were the better team.

Why do I care? That's kind of how I look at it. Like, I want a good game. I want us to win. But like, if we lose, then like, okay. I want the best team to get first place. I don't like it when there's, like, sour grapes, when everybody's like, ah, that's bullshit because this team went undefeated. And, like, yeah, the competition was lesser.

But if they could have proven themselves on a bigger stage that, you know, that you'd have all seen, I don't like hearing that sort of thing. I like it the other way. I'm always like, you know, if Texas A&M could just somehow beat them somehow for us, that would be great. Yeah, I'm

looking forward to playing LSU. I'm pretty sure they'll play in Atlanta. I think that's where the SEC championship game is. God knows what tickets cost. I have no intention of going and wasting my parking and time and sitting in a gigantic stadium. That'll be a home game for you guys.

Yeah, essentially. Athens is our home. But yeah, in the state. Essentially a home game. You'd be surprised the amount of LSU fans that drive up. And Bama fans and all that stuff. When there's a conference game, they come. SEC fans are pretty crazy.

Yeah. Well, like does Bama, Alabama has no professional teams. Louisiana has what, the Pelicans? Saints. NBA team? Oh, and the Saints. You're right. Yeah.

Yep. Shows what I know. I am so fucking dumb when it comes to sports outside of hockey yeah i showed last year with my predictions i'm even bad at that that's one of the reasons i've never understood why the braves didn't have a bigger market because our florida doesn't count as the south um but but everybody else around there like like we're kind of the only one like north carolina south carolina just i don't think tennessee has a ball team arkansas doesn't louisiana uh like like the whole southeast it's the braves it's like it's like why aren't we why is there a bigger market

here why isn't everybody buying the channel or buying the gear enough that we have enough fucking money to buy a team to win a championship and they were good like as a guy from raleigh it never occurs to me to root for the atlanta team feel like since we don't have a team, the whole country is my choice. God damn it. We're close. I hear you. To be honest, if I were to follow a team, it's always more interesting when the Yankees are good.

Something about the Yankees. Love them, hate them, whatever. As soon as their season ends, baseball becomes less interesting. I'll tell you when I never care what the Braves do ever again, it's when they stop being the Braves and start being something else. Whenever the political correctness chips in. When they become the Atlanta Savage Americans, you're

out? No, if they become the Atlanta, they become the Savage Americans of Atlanta, Georgia. You're buying a jersey. I'm got season tickets, baby. You'll see me every day right behind home plate fucking big headdress on a scalp in one hand that's what you want man that would be come on pale face hit it come on you're just heckling

all the white players no anybody i'm making I'm making fun of the white people. The black players, too. Call them pale-faced, whatever. Exactly what you're talking about with the Braves is what is the Cardinals. Like, Southern Illinois watches the Cardinals. Fucking Tennessee, Arkansas, all of the states we border watch the Cardinals. I think only the Dodgers have a slightly higher average attendance than the cardinals every year like p i went to an astros game when i was like 12 and i'd only ever

been to cardinals games and i like was wondering like damn did like they fuck up the start time did people not know when the game started? Because it was so fucking empty. That is like a baseball thing in a lot of cities, though. The stands are fucking empty. The Tampa Bay Rays, I saw a picture of their turnout. Oh, it was depressing. If I were a Rays player, I'd be like, do I even want to hit a home run? It'll get three retweets.

No one will catch it. It'll get a ping off the seats. They'll have to repair it. That's coming out of my brain. There's a guy two rows up from where it lands. Just, nah. I got nachos. I got nachos. My buddy

went to Colorado Rockies, I guess. That's their baseball team. It is, yeah. Colorado Rockies, yeah. And he's their baseball team. Colorado Rockies. He was telling me he lives in Denver. He was like, dude, this was a few years ago, but apparently they were the bottom of the bottom of the barrel. He's like, they're trying so hard to tell tickets that you can go on

StubHub 45 minutes before the game starts. You can get tickets for $4 to $7. And guess what? You do that on a Tuesday, and it's like $3 beer night. So me and my? You do that on a Tuesday, and it's like $3 beer night. So me and my friends go, we get decent seats, and we get absolutely obliterated and get to watch a game, even though we suck, for way, way cheaper than the bars.

I'm like, dude, that's a high IQ maneuver. That's smart. Honestly, I kind of wish the Braves, like I don't like a middling team. That interests me not at all. I wish the Braves would be bottom of the division and like bottom of the country so that we could achieve that yeah because actually um i wish the falcons would do that the falcons are on their way like because i'd like because that mercedes-benz stadium has i don't know what they're calling it they've got like a tagline but it's like fan friendly pricing where the food and drinks there is legit like it's good quality stuff

at a price that you're not like good god 27 for a hot dog and fries it's not that like let me pull up the prices so i'm accurate yeah i've heard about this too like and they i think reports even come out where they're like oh they're making even more money than the stadiums that gouge you because people are more comfortable being like oh a beer for five dollars instead of eleven dollars okay yeah i will have one instead of just having one water throughout the entire all right take a guess don't put if you haven't pulled it up what do you think a hot dog costs at mercedes-benz stadium four dollars i was gonna say that too dollar fifty pretzel bites pretzel bites This is like a little French fries.

Pretzel nuggets with some cheese sauce. $3. Well, based on the $1.50, I'm going to say also $1.50. Unfortunately, $4.50. Those must be some good pretzel bites. I suck at this game. Okay. All right.

We're not good at this. Something that they call the Bud Burger. Bud Burger. I'm going to call that $13.50. I'm going to say $8. It was $8. They lowered the price recently to $7.50. That's a burger with a bud.

An ice cream waffle cone. Big honking waffle cone of ice cream. That's $6.50. Wait, wait. $6.50. Wait, wait. $6.01. Disqualified. $4.50. Fuck, I still lost.

Chips and salsa. Ooh, I like those. I would pay $9 for them. I'm going to say $4.50. $2.50. Nice. $2 nice 250 for these things it's outrageous like like a dollar how much is a beer there or like they're bottled water and shit yeah yeah i'm looking for that at the blues stadium that's not even baseball but like a bottle of water is like eight dollars or something yeah movie theaters like that too I mean, I guess pretty much every sports stadium

other than Atlanta. That's really cool. They're doing that. Do you have free refills on the water? Yeah, there's literally free water, you idiot. I don't know why you're buying this. The cheapest dog at the Blues games, they call it the $5 dog. That's as cheap as it goes. And it's $9.

It doesn't come with a bun. Well, no, that's a surcharge the sixers you guys know i've been following basketball for two or three years now uh the sixers were expected to be the best team in the east this year it's very exciting like yeah my team's going to the finals they're so missing expectations last night joelle and bead our star player, played 32 minutes, and he and I scored the same number of points. Oh, wow. That's bad. Yeah, it really is. I don't know

what he gets. 32 million a year? We both scored zero points? They're in a playoff position. Yeah, they are. Go ahead, Kyle. So just to fill out the card, bottled water's two bucks, a soda's two bucks. Lemonade, two bucks. Sweet tea,

three bucks. A super pretzel's two dollars. Cheese nachos, three dollars. French fries, three bucks. Crispy chicken and fries, which I guess is chicken fingers, six dollars. Cheeseburger, five bucks. It's pretty fucking crazy. This is really reasonable.

I'd go to a Braves game. I think that's Falcons. Not a lot of keto-friendly options on that menu. Nothing like a ballpark salad. Nothing like being under the hot sun with a

nice bowl of Thousand Island Dress and drinkings. Now, did you take the croutons out? I can't have carbs. with a nice bowl of Thousand Island Dress. Now, did you take the croutons out? I can't have carbs. We can't take any money off. On a different topic, did you see the Cybertruck? Cybertruck looks fucking cool, man.

Elon Musk has been watching too many futuristic movies. How many has he sold? He sold like a quarter million of them or something. Pre-orders. No, you're right million of them or something or pre-orders no you're right you know it's a refundable pre-order so it's not as big a commitment as you might guess okay but um yeah i heard 200 000 it could be quarter million by now um when i first saw it i was super disappointed i was like are you serious like i was i was half serious about

wanting this and now i the more i look at it the more it grows on me suddenly it's a little better the downside is i kind of don't want that much attention from a truck but uh you know everywhere you park they're gonna people are gonna ask you about it and so i'd rather be more incognito talk to the car he'll tell you all about himself but it's cool in its own way and maybe it wouldn't like if i ran it and i came out with something that looked like an f1 silverado then you know what i'm gonna try to do that better than they do they've been at it for 150 years now you have to change it you have to go for a different target you can't hit the bullseye better than ford and chevy and ram did it looks like

something from a movie it looks like a future movie car. It's a quarter million pre-sales now. How much is the car to buy? Isn't it bulletproof? Yeah, yeah. And when I heard bulletproof, I was... I'll get to that too. When I heard bulletproof, I was like, right.

Like a low-velocity.22 bulletproof type thing. 9 mil. They shot a nine mil at it. They hit it with the sledgehammer. So they threw a demo with the ball at the window. Are you familiar with this? I haven't seen it. Oh, okay.

So they took what I'll call a cannonball and they threw it at the driver's side window and it wasn't supposed to break and it did. So then they threw it at the passenger side window. I'm sorry, the driver's rear, like the guy that sits behind him. Okay.

And it wasn't, they're like, oh, let's try this again and they threw it. And I swear to you, it was a bit of a pansy throw. Still broke. It turns out

you have to roll the window up. If it's cracked, it's not strong. Oh, of course. Oh, of course. Yeah. That was the flaw. You can see like cops when they have like someone has a window cracked.

They could just tear that shit down. That's the only way to like, look, I've seen the. I don't know. I've got a lot of experience breaking car windows because I'd always I blew up so many cars that like it's one of those things like, hey, I've got a car I can I can abuse here. Let's let's test some movie tropes in our free time. And and so I've tried to break a lot of side windows out. And I think it varies from model to model. I think one of the things that will vary is how much curvature there is, because I think that more curvature makes it tougher. I think if it's flat, something about that makes it weaker. But I know that's true in metals.

Yeah, I think if it's curved outward, maybe something about the, it weaker but i know that's true metals yeah i think if it's curved outward maybe something about the it takes the shock better i have wailed on those things with a hammer and gotten nowhere with them and i'll be like am i a pussy or what like what's jeremy come here and it like deflects off and like a very front windshield or a side driver's side or side okay because they're right side window yeah but then sometimes you find a car and you're and you you're like all right i've i've dealt with your kind before i'm coming in hard and you just go straight through it it just shatters everywhere so i don't know some are stronger than others but and how small the point of impact is too right like that's very important and how hard what you're hitting it is um yeah

like the hardness of the metal i I know spark plugs in particular. I've had this thing forever and I've never even put it in my car. But apparently you can just kind of wrap this a little bit on a window and it'll just straight up shatter. It's like tungsten or something. I have one of those and it's three different things in one. It plugs into your charger. So it's always a flashlight. It's also a port.

So you can plug your phone into it. It's also got the seatbelt cutter and it's got the window tapper yeah my leatherman has a windshield breaker but i've never used it but i love that it's right there in the console like in my in my car because like i always thought like oh yeah i'm drowning and my seat belt won't come off let me rifle through the glove box oh Oh, look, a map from 1992. That's what I would be doing. I'd be like, all right, I've got a window-breaking attachment here, but I have to take off the Phillips head first and swap that out. Time for Tic Tacs.

But the Cybertruck. Dried-out condom. I'm glad they didn't aim for the same bullseye that F-150 and Silverado have been aiming for. They're doing something different. It's not a fit for me. I'm not going to get one. My truck keeps stats on trailer towing and stuff like that. 28,000 miles, 8,000

of them towing. Battery power is just not the right fit for me. But it's still neat and i'll be following it and maybe someday it will be yeah i i wonder what the price tag is too you know like like i bet it's a hundred thousand or something like that something no so the the cheapest one is just it's so close to 40 we'll call it 40 grand cool and uh like a decked out one is 70.

I read something about like them having multiple engines or something like that is that what is that what is like souping them up more and more um the price I don't know the options the high-end one I know has three electric motors so the exactly for each rear wheel and then one for the fronts and uh I don't know what the low option low end one does yeah i'd like to see like the performance of each because if the first one still kicks the shit out of a standard fucking v8 truck like who cares and uh and like what i've noticed with the teslas is like their base model it's not like ford's base model where it's like oh god is is that cloth or is that burlap is this digital radio from the 70s knobs yeah yeah yeah you're rolling your windows up if you get a base model ford you know still

uh but i think i bet i bet in the ranger class you wouldn't bet against it yeah like that you can still get the rubber floor mats if you order them there's like a workman thing that like you're really not supposed to enjoy your time in the truck yeah it seems like it's shitty though right like like it's vinyl you can hose it i think like you can yeah yeah so have you ever like like uh when work trucks like one of the things that like a really good detail shop will do is they'll take the carpets out of the car like all the way out and pressure wash the fuck out of them this is the floor mats you're talking about no the carpet oh i've never heard of that yeah good detail shop like they'll take your carpets out very carefully out from around the seats and everything and they'll have it like hung up like you would hang up a sheet on a clothesline and they'll get the big pressure

washer out and the soapy water and there's like steel exposed under the carpet i guess um i don't know what's under there. I think it's probably some thermal foam or something like that, or thermal cushy stuff. Oh, okay. I know my dad would always, when he got a truck detailed, he'd have him do that shit, because

he always has dogs in his car. I've only done the cheapest of detailers. You know, the ones you hang out by the doctor. Like, you know, if you're going to be 40 minutes, I could call your car for 40 bucks. He's like, hey, you got a minute, man? Yes, I do. Alright, $5. $5.

Make money, make money! You don't stay a millionaire paying detail, man. You're homeless anyway, shit. Street shitter. Who are you going to call? I already read the sports section. Stop rubbing it on my windshield.

I hate those guys. All right, let me take that back. I don't hate them, but when I see them, hey, man, let me detail you up a little bit. I'm like, I'm getting gasoline. I know the car is a little dusty, but no. I'm like, dude, you're going to scratch it all. There's a free squeegee here.

You're going to scratch it all the fuck up. You're going to scratch it. I was like, I have one scratch on my car, and it annoys me so much. I know right where it is. It's a half an inch long. I know right where the fuck is. I have one dent on my car. I know right where it is. It's a half an inch long. I know right where the fuck is. I have one dent on my car. I know right where the fuck it is.

It annoys me. It's tiny. You wouldn't find it. I'm on the other end of the spectrum. Guys like, you know, hey, I can do your car in an hour. Huh. Well, you got half an hour. I can't do it.

Point it at the highway. Maybe just the inside. Don't look me in the eyes and make it half an hour. Point it at the highway. Maybe just the inside. Don't look me in the eyes and make it half an hour. Point it at the highway. I like the don't look in my eyes. Avert your eyes. I'm almost positive that that is just a Windex bottle full of water. Avert your eyes, watchboy.

No, it's alcohol. That hurts piss alcohol that hurts piss that hurts piss what liquid is most readily available to a hobo alcohol and urine I mean I'd prefer alcohol than urine I'll always send them away I'll be like look man you're gonna scratch the car he's like no no no

I got this terry cloth or whatever the fuck and I'm like dude it's not gonna matter you're gonna spray a little water on my car and then you're gonna move the grit that's on my paint around in a circle. That's what sandpaper is. Like, no, I don't want this. I wash it myself. I want to wash it myself.

This is why I've never washed my truck. Well, that's one way to take it. I haven't washed my car. Jesus. You haven't washed your car since you bought it. Not even a drive-thru. No. No, I mean, mean like the rain does a good job yeah does it not rain where you are Kyle

do you not know anything about rain I keep it in the garage I mean I keep my car in the garage too but like if it's like raining and I'm out and about I keep my paramotors in the garage it snowed and you get that like annoying like white shit all over salt or whatever yeah that's salt yeah

that's not ideal I clean the inside because that's where I am, but I don't give a fuck. As long as I can see out the windows, I don't care. That's interesting. Yeah, I wash my car probably every two weeks or something like that. Damn. Yeah. I never wash it. There's no trash in it. That I'm very...

There's nothing inside my truck aside from dust that doesn't belong there. There's zero trash in my car unless you count the backseat. That was not true when I was there. No, the backseat. That's where the trash goes. It's also where Woody sits. Dude, if there's room for me, it's mostly trash.

It's a lot. It's a lot. My girlfriend's car, when she's driving, I'll be going to get in the passenger seat, and it's like there's a coat. There's a bunch of jewelry and like banana peels. And it's like, throw this away. Yeah. Throw away the banana peels.

I'm composting. But I'll also do what you're talking about, Kyle, where it's like, well, I hardly ever drive anybody around unless it's in my passenger seat in the front. Toss the stuff in the back and then like at one point you'll get groceries and you'll open up your back seat to put it in and be like oh i did have mcdonald's five weeks ago yeah i have a big trunk so like everything goes in there uh in my back seat right now if i just guess off the top of my head there are two pairs of dress shoes because like whenever i'm wearing like dress shoes i want and i'm done wearing them they're coming off in the car and they're going in the back seat um and uh there's like a sport

jacket back there there's probably a coat there's uh there's definitely some empty like uh like like resealable bottles like anything like it's like a gator i could throw the cap back on and throw it back there a couple of bags of mcdonald's probably um kind the opposites. Like my car is never cleaned, but always straightened. There's nothing out of place. His car is cleaned, but never straightened. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, Kyle cares about the perception of the world. There you go. It doesn't matter what's on the inside. It's what's on the outside that counts, Woody. Okay.

Mike, if you want to impress people, massaging seats. Like, it never fails to get a huge reaction in the whole butt massage. Yes.

That's what people like. Until somebody starts coming and it's uncomfortable. Well, you know, that would fall under cleaning, not straightening. So it's okay. Yeah, that's true.

Turn on your pussy vibe setting. Just sitting there. It'sening, so it's okay. Yeah, that's true. Turn on your pussy vibe setting. Just sitting there. It's been days since that's happened. Yeah. Yeah, I don't have vibrating seats or a good-looking car on the outside. So I just use it utilitarian. Shit, you're in the cold climate. I mean, it's St. Louis.

It's Missouri. It's not that cold. Well, way colder than where you guys are, but not that bad. I love my's St. Louis it's Missouri it's not that well way colder than where you guys are but not not that bad I love my heated seats I like to hot seat people in the summertime too that's fun in Jackie's car

that's a game we play all the time because you can subtly like pop the thing it's in the center where the drive reverse stick shift thing is and yeah so you just hot seat someone and they don't know. But on my truck, it's hard to pull off. It's real obvious.

I downgraded in that regard. My old car did have heated seats and this one does not. Yeah, I like them a lot. It's one of my favorite things. A couple of things that I won't have a car. Ah, this might be an interesting little. Things that I want in a car that I wouldn't do without. I think leather seats because they're just because they're easier to clean and they don't stain and

sometimes i spill you know and it'd be gross if you had like a stain on a cloth seat i couldn't deal with that um definitely want a good sound system like good enough like i don't want it to sound shitty but it doesn't need to be like bumping or anything like that i don't need i don't need to i don't need the guy next to me not to know that I have a good sound system The heated seats are pretty fucking important. I mean ideally they're air-conditioned as well and That's what I have That might be about um, I think I want an automatic transmission pretty much always I just I just don't like the hassle of a manual

Yeah, I might in a big trunk I need I need like room to put stuff like like like even like you might not think like the Camaro I mean I can put like Luggage for two for a week's vacation in the trunk of that car like two of the biggest bags you can imagine Will fit into that trunk and then one more like carry on and the rest can go in the back seat like i can and the back seats fold down flat so it's you can put something that's like five and a half six feet long like a board or something i've put

pvc pipe in there before in a pinch like like you can carry stuff in there that's not a truck one thing about the truck that's kind of missing like like there's a bed and then there's inside there's no trunk there's no trunk at all zero trunk like and do you not have jumper cables like i've got jumper cables tools a med kit because i do air stuff and like it's uh yeah so i have storage under the rear seats that's how i handle it yeah i bet there's some they make so many cool truck mods though. I bet there's a thing. I bet there's a thing. My thing's pretty cool. It,

when you fold the seats up, there's, it looks like it's factory. Cool. Cool. And of course there's the toolbox tried and true. Yeah. But I'm big on the tonneau cover thing.

Yeah. It slides. Richard Ryan had a really cool thing in the back of his truck. I think it was like part of just being an F one 50 though. It was like internal storage where things popped up. Oh no. Oh, I remember now. He had this locking bed cover and when you let

the tailgate down, he had drawers that he could pull out. Oh, that's cool. And they had, because he had like weaponry in there and like explosives and stuff. And I think it was rated to be like an explosives like transfer thing. Oh oh that's neat yeah i thought about a very secure setup yeah it's cool the paramotor even though it's really

light it's big so i can't have drawers or that kind of storage in the back of the bed yeah i'm i almost wonder if there's any way to like tow it where it's like when people have like their wheelchair or their bike like attached to to like the, the, the, um, the, the ball in the back, like it's like hanging off the back of the truck. I have that,

but I don't prefer it because it's in the wind and it gets more wear in your hour drive than it does in like a season worth of flying. Yeah. Let me, uh, let me slip this last ad in here and tell everybody about Harry's. This episode of PK is brought to you by, of the highest German engineering around, Harry's. Six years ago, Harry's founders, Jeff and Andy, were tired of paying for overpriced razors.

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Again, that's harrys.com slash painkiller. Got to hold back sometimes. Was that not in the read? What I was going to say wasn't going to be. I was going to say a thing, i was gonna say wasn't gonna be i was gonna say a thing and i decided i shouldn't okay then you know i'm thinking ah you know i'm thinking about kids and real close shaves and who that might you know who might want them to get those close shaves oh i was preventing razor burn for your poor lady friends and Well, it's just good that they're donating 1% of every bit of that money you guys spend to cause like men's mental health because, you know, sometimes men go crazy and they

gun us down in the streets or homes, workplaces, schools, that sort of thing. That is good. Women too, but not so much. I'm not sure that's true. I feel like most women are crazy. Oh, but they poison you. Women are poisoners. They rarely lock and load and go postal.

That's true. One of my favorite. Yeah, yeah. You don't see it too often. I know, I't think of one instance where this lady uh lady did something like that i think i think that's the only one i can think of this lady like shot some people across the street from her house randomly with a rifle one time a long time ago i don't even remember the details i think she just went nutty for the most you're thinking about streaming yeah yeah i think probably probably on youtube i got a lot of stuff to do oh i i don't know that

it'd be a game at first i might just uh do like a talking thing oh i didn't think of that yeah okay yeah it would be a lot of catching up to do. A lot of fun stories to tell. Solo talking thing or like. Maybe, probably. I don't know. At first for sure. You know, I don't know.

I've been giving it a ton of thought. There's a lot of different ways I could do it. So I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I want to do. And, you know, I want to do. And I want to get all my ducks in a row before I move forward with anything. I don't want to take a stutter step. If I'm going to do it, I want to get everything taken care of before I do, have everything set up and ready to go.

Yeah, I think that'll be fun. I think it'll be fun to stream some games too, for sure. I don't know if I should stream this. The game I love right now probably isn't the best game for streaming because I'm not that great at it. And it can be very boring to watch. What's boring though, right? Like I'm looking, I'm thinking of Summit G, right?

He plays, help me with the game, Seven Seas? What's it called? Sea of Thieves. Sea sea of these is what i was going for right so he will lay down hoping not to be noticed for 30 40 minutes and everybody loves it but if i were to describe laying down for 40 minutes i would think that that was boring but somehow it's not when he does it what's boring um kind of i don't know it can be even more boring i feel like in uh in tarkov you know there's a lot of holding buildings down and sometimes it gets scary and everybody just sits in a room and aims at it all right we're just gonna sit here for the next uh well we're

gonna wait them out and like if you watch it's it's not just me like if you watch shroud play that's kind of how you have to play because it's very realistic. If you get shot in the arm, now your fucking arm is broken. You can't fight nearly as well. You have two choices. You can perform surgery on this fucking arm and hope that they don't hear you

clipping scissors and sewing flesh up and then just come and rush you. Literally a thing. Or you can continue to fight with a fucking broken arm and you get lots of broken arms because like the way the ai especially works and the way gun fights with players work is you like you know if you're peeking out a doorway like this you know you lean out well your elbow goes out first yeah so they snap onto that right away so i don't know even if you watch like the high level like quick twitch guys like Shroudplay, there is quite a bit of camping.

And, you know, it's slow. It's slow. I wish that there was a surgical part of the game. Like how well your outcome from the surgery was at least tied into how good you were as a surgeon. Where's the artery at? Oh, God. What am I? It's just all hamburger meat in there.

You're watching on YouTube trying to figure out how to stitch a little better, practicing it. You build up your smithing skills or whatever the equivalent would be. Building your iron daggers and your leather bracers. That would be fun. For hours on end. Sorry about the extended bathroom break there. I got up and my girlfriend was like,

Teddy has been pacing in front of the door, like a back door to go out, and just like shaking. I walked into the bedroom and he was sitting in the corner just like afraid of something. And I was like, oh, that's not, well, he seems to be doing okay now. She's like, yeah, will you just go around the house and check everywhere. And there's part of me, even though I'm 99.5% sure there's no one in my house. But when I walked in to my basement area with the gym and everything in the back corner, I have that Hitler thing. That Hitler punch dummy. You remember that joke? The thing that you punched for our fitness competition?

I bought that big dummy thing and I drew a Hitler thing on there, joking around, punching Hitler. It was just sitting in the corner and I turned my light on and I was like, it's just that stupid thing you bought for $350, used for a short competition somewhat, and then haven't

touched or even filled with water since then. But there's no intruders in my house and my dog's not being a baby anymore. It's all two thumbs up. Checking a house for intruders is a little scary. If you have some even semi-reasonable suspicion. I checked my stable for bad guys not

too long ago because we heard voices. We heard voices. It just turned out that day voices carried really well. They weren't in my stable. They were further down the way. You think it's scary now? Try doing it with a hammer. But he's the one with the hammer.

I wish I had my guns back. Should I use the sharpener that's on? I'm just going to claw him. I think the claw. I think claw first? I'm just going to claw him. I think the claw. I think claw first. Pencil curvy, the claw is... I was like, oh, there's no way there's someone in here.

I was like, well, my girlfriend and I did take the dogs on a walk around the neighborhood. I left my front door unlocked and my garage door open. Dun, dun, dun. Do you have an attic? I do, but I've never gone up there. Don't say things like that.

Think about this. I'm not sure if it's homeless people or ghosts. No, no, no. There have been instances. There have been instances of this. Here's what some homeless people will do. They'll just go through neighborhoods and they'll see houses that clearly have attics. They have an eave, but no window. They'll jiggle the door handles and they'll see houses that clearly have attics. They have an eave but no window.

And they'll jiggle the door handles and they'll find one that they can get into. They'll knock first, of course, but then they'll enter the house. They'll go up into the attic and they'll live in people's attics and only come down during the nighttime to get snacks and stuff. My attic is way too close to where my bedroom is. I would hear people. They're like parasites that live in your house. They're very good at this, Taylor. They could sell you.

This is their core company. He's done this shit before. Yeah, he's a professional attic dweller. Yeah. It's his only job. He's wearing socks. He's creeping around slow. Are you a professional attic dweller catcher?

Have you ever caught an attic dweller before, yet you think you're good at it for some reason oh i i'm the sherlock holmes and knowing if people are hiding him he's up there right now rufus is up there reading a playboy jerking it he's coming down later with sticky he's coming down later with stink sticky unwashed fingers and he's going through your cold cuts picking out little oh salami thanks a lot taylor nom nom nom nom dude that's one thing you could eat some chips out of there if you if my italian meat started going missing i would know immediately yeah where's the gabagool where's the capicola where's all this opresado where's my meats where's my heart attack causing meats i could if it were okay for you i would be fine eating nothing but chicken wings

and italian meats cheeses and crackers what's that fancy ham that i'm it's the like pharma hammers uh i got i got i got a pack of that shit the other day it was nine dollars for like a quarter pound or something so good though and and i'm eating and i'm just like i'm not putting on a sandwich i'm just eating it i'm just i'm just eating this pork out of this pack and i'm just like it's 36 a pound but god damn it it's worth every penny it's worth every it's gone it's it's gone all right well that was lunch i wonder what the sodium i'm gonna take an angry shit after this no i don't yeah oh i love italian meats they're so like the whole ham woody is like 400 dollars like if you wanted a ham of this stuff it's like a four or five hundred dollar ham yeah cheese was linking us

to stuff like this like it might have been a couple of years ago now. Chiz almost made me buy one. I was like, that'd make a hell of a Thanksgiving ham. And I'm like, you don't even like ham. I don't remember what the occasion was, but Chiz sent me some sort of, uh, those meatlobs.

Uh, yeah. What kind of meat was it? Uh, it's a Spanish thing. It was fucking tasty. I remember that. Yeah.

I was, I, that was during my cheese phase so I'd have a big cutting board and in bed I'd have my dope and I'd have my blue cheese and my fancy crackers and a couple other little cheese

and then I'd have that meat log and I'd sauce like coins of it off and I was num num num num chorizo yeah that's what it was it was like a really great chorizo and i munched i remember i think i even said on the show that i ate like a whole log of it in one sitting once when i got back from a bar drunk and had the most awful shits of my life the following day because it's just protein and meat and or i'm so sorry protein and fat but oh i love cured meats

protein and fat but oh i love cured meats so good yeah i can't have just like a turkey and cheese sandwich and enjoy it i'll muscle it down like not muscle down like it's bad but just like turkey cheese whatever else like spinach whatever you put on there it's like this is fine whatever you throw a couple slices of salam on there suddenly a great tasty sandwich. Yeah. I love sandwiches. A little soppressata on there. Now it's good. Yeah. I love sandwiches a lot. I ordered tonight from this Cajun place. I got gumbo and what else did I get? I got like shrimp and catfish with that remoulade sauce and fried green tomatoes.

Yeah. Sounds good. Fucking amazing. It was too expensive though. It was like $ 60 for two people but it tasted like a meal you'd pay 60 for i guess i don't think i've ever tried fried green tomatoes they're very good they're really good as you know it's it don't think tomato at all anymore it's it's a tall it's don't think do you oh by the way kitty wanted me to mention

um one tree lane soapery over on etsy she just has started a sale on soaps, shaving soaps, and lotions and beard oils and all that stuff she sells. It'd be real cool if you guys go check her out on Etsy. It's One Tree Lane Soapery. She's in there fucking soaping. She makes that soap by hand. It's really cool. It looks like candy. There'll be layers and waves and stuff in it. It cool stuff hey and guess what guys it's the holiday season

what do you think your mom grandma aunts you know sister whatever they'd like some handmade soaps yeah get some shaving lotion or your father you know it seems like a good deal a good time of year to be going out there and do this and it'll seem very specially chosen because one tree lane, you know, it's on Etsy. It's very boutique. Yeah. Very boutique.

That's the way I'm made. Soapery. All right. Get yourself some handmade shaving lotion for your little sister's twat. Okay. Make sure that she's smooth and comfortable when she's in that locker room. Make sure that she's squared away to be on God Pussy someday. Yeah.

That's what you want. We don't want any stubble over there. That's what we endorse on this program. Do you care about your young, supple sister's self-esteem? Who was also 18 for the purpose of Kitty's ad. Of course. Of course. Of course.

18. Ish. Ish. he's at. She, of course, of course, of course. 18. Um, you know. Ish. Ish. Depending on your regional laws. State, yeah. I like what I walked back into. Yeah, we're just talking about shaving sisters' pussies. No, we do.

Yeah. How much would it cost for you, Kyle, to, because neither Woody nor i have a sister stop to have to share i didn't hear any of that i laughed over it do you think i'd shave kyle's sister's pussy for the low price of 1995 so i would pay much more than that what's the question i was asking what do you think your sister's pussy looks like

he is from the south anyway buy soaps I imagine she's just like a Barbie doll and there's nothing down there it's just smooth it's just fucking nothing wait wait isn't she a stepsister no i have i have a half sister though yeah according to the porn i watched that's fine that's a okay we're talking about that one then okay whatever's funnier are that many people

looking at pornography about incest that it's that popular? So much. What is the deal? Or is it these companies trying to push this as like a new fad? I don't get it. I don't understand it all. What is the sister fetish thing all about? I don't know. It does seem convenient. I've never had a friend who had a sister. I mean, it's not the sisters.

It's mothers. There's all sorts of stuff. There's daddy-daughter stuff. I know you're not going after Woody with that. Don't, don't, don't. Oh, that's a step too far. There's all sorts of stuff.

There's dirty uncles. There's dirty grandpas. There's grandmas. Well, that sounds funny. The sister's brother stuff is the one that seems to show up in my feed the most. And like, okay, okay. grandma well that sounds funny dirty grandpa the sister's brother stuff is the one that i it seems to show up in my feed the most and like okay okay i do think it would be fucking awesome if i had a horny sister back when i was 17 step sister nothing weird about it who just wanted to fuck me all the

time and live right down the hall that would be glorious maybe i can see the appeal step sister is you're not related but like i remember even like middle school or like earlier high school being like you know hey rich your sister's super hot you ever thought about fucking her or just like trying to like mess with people and throw a little salt in their game and mess around just ribbing oh yeah always always the answer is like oh dude that is so fucking disgusting why would you say that it's like well because i wanted to put that image in your mind because it's fun i i haven't had it i never i don't have any sisters everyone knows this but i don't get it what you're blind you can't

tell your sister's hot i'm trying to think it's just different all right how about this um as a child when you saw a spider you immediately felt fear right okay the same sort of evolutionary predisposition to finding incest to be disgusting is is built into you yeah i think that's a great way of putting it yeah so the same for the same reason that your monkey ancestors that the same reason that your monkey ancestors that thought snakes were terrifying and ran from them passed on their genes so that their ancestors, and thus us, would be terrified of snakes and spiders that crawl up there. Also, the monkeys who were like, nah, fuck my sister. I hear your words. Propagated much more efficiently over time.

My hypothetical sister's lucky she was never born. I believe you. I believe you. I believe you. And with the biblical, your parents would probably be like, well, I mean, at least he's living by the Old Testament. I mean, I would have preferred the New, but... Adam and Eve had children.

Adam and Eve had kids. Adam and Eve had kids. Where did the rest of society come from? Speaking of sister shit, I remember at one point, maybe like middle school, I went over to a friend's house, and he had nothing but four sisters or something crazy, and we were going to swim in his pool,

and so I went into his bathroom to change, and first of all, I'm like, man, there's bikini shit all over the... They were all older. And I saw a Nair container change and it's like first of all i'm like man there's like bikini shit all over the they were all older and i saw like a nair container and i was like nair i've seen commercials for that you just put it like on hair and it wipes away and in my head i'm like that's not true like that it won't actually work like that i took like a dollop of it and like put it on my arm just to see i was And straight away, you start to feel a little tingle. I took some toilet paper and wiped it.

Huge patch of hair gone off my arm. This episode is brought to you by Nair. No, it's not. No, it's not. A great way to get a chemical burn. What you want is good German

engineered blades. That's what you want from Harry's. I want a fucking chemical burn. It causes cancer. It literally can burn you. It literally causes cancer. You know what? I'm hearing that from someone

I respect highly. I choose to believe them 100%. Yeah, Nair. isn't that didn't they actually take that off the market because of chemical shit i i don't know man i don't know i don't know i don't know either maybe i'm making i think it still exists i'm almost positive it still exists like i just remember being blown away but it also made my skin red yeah do you ever do that thing woody when you get a new knife you shave the hair off the back of your arm sure sure yeah i do it every time i'm like a it's like this will never be as sharp as it is now and i like lick the back of my arm do you have hairy arms or not particularly um like

like you know i think normal man hair amount it's really hard to tell the light let's see if i get it up there it's hard to tell on the fucking, you can't see on my camera at all. I think I'm in the same class as Kyle. Yeah. Normal. Very normal. Yeah. Nothing crazy, you know,

and they're not too long. I lucked out with the hairiness as far as my arms goes. My legs are hairy as fuck, but like my, I don't have that, uh, just kind of gross, like hand hair thing where way too much of it gets out there oh yeah my legs are way

hair his toe hair and foot hair it's not on camera right now but ah it's so bright you can't see it but dude when i get out of a pool it looks like i'm wearing stockings i'm glad we're not on twitch yeah oh i mean oh yeah taylor your your chat was asking for your feet they wanted to see them that's a trap. I know. I know what it is. Well, you know, you've walked into a trap here and there.

I thought I'd help you. I've stumbled. I've stepped on a few rakes so far. You can say that. But yeah, I know they're trying to get me. But I don't know. It's all in good fun. Well, maybe.

Maybe not that far. Hey, let's have a little fun and get taylor removed from the whole website wait wait yes how's that fun for anyone yes yeah dude the whole streaming thing is like the chat interaction is 50 times more fun than the game itself of course yeah that's what it's about like it's just way more fun it's hard to like i feel bad because like i missed so many of them and stuff but like it it's a good time i think i got the thing finally set up because the initial stream i didn't have like the alert bot or whatever that like puts up the so-and-so donated and asked a

question kind of thing but i think i've got that squared away now so we should be good we should be hunky dory for hopefully friday some guy wrote this thing it was it was in your chat i wish i could quote it as well as like he wrote it but it was like i fell in love with the beautiful woman she was so perfect we went back and you know we had a date and the night was wonderful we We went for a walk. We finally found ourselves in bed. We took off the clothes. She hugged me. I embraced her.

It was everything I hoped it would be, but I lasted 15 seconds. I started to apologize and she put her finger over my lips and said, shh, at least you lasted longer than Taylor's PayPal. Yeah, that was totally my fault. I fucked that up so bad. How did you make it? It was your mistake? I didn't know that.

There's something about if you have a negative balance in a PayPal, you can't receive receive anymore or something or sometimes it will glitch okay yeah and so like i i got that sorted today pretty pretty easily it wasn't too bad but yeah i and i at the time like i i started the stream and everybody's like donos aren't working donations aren't working what the fuck i'm trying to give you my thousand dollars and And I'm like, you guys fucking suck lying about what you give me. And then I but I also felt like a prick. I'm like, if I stop the stream now because I'm just not getting donations, I'm going to feel like a real fucking asshole. And so I went for like three, three and a half hours anyway and still played and everything. And I see it as like it was still fun.

I still enjoy myself. Yeah. fun i still had a good time yeah yeah it was a good time i enjoyed it so yeah i'm excited for for all of us to get rocking and rolling on that in that yeah i told you just tell them to mail your checks mail checks mail checks to me and i'll send them on exactly i'm just sitting there with my phone taking pictures of three cent checks all day. I love that story about how the guy sent one penny checks to like lots of celebrities to see who would cash them. And Donald Trump was one of the few that cashed them. That's hilarious.

Goes in the pile. Put him with the rest, Melania. If you ever don't cash a check, I don't care if it's a penny. You're fucking fired and I'm calling your landlord who I'm a good friend of and you're out of this city So she's feverishly taking photos I really enjoyed his Thanksgiving Day thing I felt like it was Very light hearted

It's a light hearted event He made a few jokes about the whole Impeachment thing and the Democrats And the media but they were kind of light hearted Jokes and like mostly He was just riffing with the turkeys the whole impeachment thing and the Democrats and the media, but they were kind of lighthearted jokes and mostly it was just riffing with the turkeys. People were making fun of him for riffing around with the turkeys and it's like, alright,

look, here's one where it's we want him to be silly. He's pardoning a turkey named Butter and it's with his friend Bread. Alright? He's got the Butterball CEO there. He's literally trying to boost fucking sales for an American business.

Can we get behind him on Thanksgiving when he's got the fucking Butterball turkeys and the children named the turkeys? It's clearly a big joke. The turkey looks absurdly ridiculous. He's like, these turkeys have been specially bred to stay calm under pressure and they had like

they've been specially bred for this event like w's turkey attacked him and uh really it was actually it was pretty charming like the turkey went after him and he was like oh gave the turkey a little space and uh something about w like i enjoy remember when they threw the shoes at him yeah yeah i'm like he ducked him that's a fairly athletic president, right? There are two shoes. Ha ha, he got me. Ha ha. Yeah, we got two shoes.

You know, like. You got the shoes? He did pretty well. Yeah, he had one of your cruise missiles. You threw two shoes at me. I'm pretty sure you don't have any more. Yeah. So, with the turkey, he kind of, like, went after him.

And he kind of, he was cool about it he wasn't overly scared and yeah there's what you'd want what if he killed the turkey that would have been even funny if only jesse ventura had won what if like i'm tired of these pussies pardoning these fowls we call them foul because of what they do to our economy. They destroy the beef industry. What was I talking about again? I feel like he's going into it. He gets the turkey and kills

it right there and starts plucking the motherfucker. If he takes four swings of the machete, he's my president. Oh my god. Flashback. Poor Henrietta. Henrietta, what a He's my president. Oh, my God. Oh, don't remind me. Flashback. Flashback. Poor Henrietta.

Flashback. Henrietta, what a rough way to go. We should have constructed a bird guillotine out there in the forest, and everything would have been fine. The real challenge was we had a stick to protect your hand in case I was inaccurate, and it made my target really small. Yeah. I kind of got some shoulder because you had to protect his hand. case I was inaccurate and it made my target really small. Yeah.

Like I kind of got some shoulder because like you had to protect his hand. You don't even really got to chop. You kind of can just like put the machete or whatever down and like roll it over their neck. I should have. That might have been the move. I never killed anything. So I put in the like kill request. Except for the squirrel.

Yeah. That's the squirrel. Yeah. That's literally what it was. Woody's like, I've never killed a thing. I'm just like, well, it's not really about that, but okay. I've never killed anything. This isn't going to start a whole thing, is it? Like where tomorrow we're driving

around Walmart parking lot late at night looking for children. I mean, Kyle had killed the cookie and muffin man just earlier that day. That's the lie people don't predict. Kyle was not lying about the muffin man being there. He was lying about how he procured the goods. That muffin man was real, god damn it.

It would be absurd if I were going to go get muffins. I'd have just kept them to myself. I'd have never tried to make you all believe in a muffin man because it's absurd. I know it's absurd. I ran into him and he said he was a muffin man. Out of the gate. He comes out there. I was like, yeah, right, sure.

Kyle met a muffin man. But our Patrick, the photographer, was like, no, I saw him too. That's right. Patrick saw the muffin man. Yeah. He corroborated your muffin man story. But he didn't take any muffins because he had food. He didn't need any muffin.

The photographer people don't know. I saw my muffin man interaction as foraging. Yes. I went out with nothing and I came back with something. That's the kind of like deep south story where you'd like be leaving at a gas station or like after you've gone and you're like, and some guy brought us muffins to the cashier. And she's like,

you mean you saw the muffin man? Folks been talking about him for decades around here. You, Georgine, this guy saw the muffin man and lived to tell the tale. Yeah. They don't accept the chocolate chip muffins, he takes your soul. Thank God you took that. Some keto feller died recently because of that.

Yeah, he had muffins and fucking cookies. And he was like, yeah, I'm bringing it. They're past their sale date at my store or his bakery or whatever. And me and my wife come out here and we give them to the campers. And I was like, I so want those. Those look delicious. And it was a ton of muffins. I didn't come back with like 12 muffins.

I think I came back with like literally 80 muffins or something. There were also cookies. So many fucking muffins. There were cookies. There were cookies in there. I forget the muffin to cookie ratio, but there was plenty of clork. There was plenty of both.

Where food is short, muffins are a plenty. I'll never forget that crawfish that Woody boiled up. It looked edible. Two crawfish. The two crawfish. He always does that. That's why I always start with one. I know there's two, but I always say there's one.

Because I know he's going to, there were two. I caught enough crawfish for one third of a person. Calm down. One third is fucking generous. They call me the hunksman. Gonna die. And we, I think we tore that thing apart and there were like little bits of white meat.

And I think we all, like a piece like the size of a grain of rice. It was more poop than white meat. It was more poop than white meat. You didn't devein it? Did you guys, i guess you probably didn't soak it in cold salt water first that's what we did yeah as we're sitting there i'm like guys i literally watched a youtube video about this this was part of my training like like i

because like going in i taught i watched a video and had a skin of squirrel and how to skin and like got a rabbit because these were the most likely things i thought for us to kill and i also watched a crawfish one and a catfish one, like all the things that we might eat. But the crawfish one was honestly like, cause I was thinking about eating some crawfish, not because I wanted to learn to prepare them. And I was like,

he soaked them in something. He soaked them in some sort of brine or something. And all the shit came out. I think they're full of shit. And they are, they're full of shit. The challenge is we were really water. Like I had a

water filter that you pumped and pumping it was really hard work harder than anyone's guessing right now like it's a serious it was a workout to get any amount of yeah you push it hard and it would take forever i think it was a little clogged like maybe i didn't buy a fresh one for that trip you would work four minutes for your bottle of water probably i think four is low you know it might i might double that and and to do like to just like throw that water away on a crawfish it's like i'm not sure this is even calorie positive and then it still didn't taste very good like the water still had like a like a rubber hose kind of taste to it like a a garden hose in a hot summer day.

It was yucky. Yeah. Well, let's do it again sometime. I'm in. I would be in for sure. You remember what I said last time. Never again. Yeah.

Never again. It's like the Holocaust and 9-11. Never again. 9-11 is never forget. And the Holocaust is never again. And 9-11 is never forget and and the holocaust is never again and and i feel the same this is the holocaust 9-11 the survival trip yes it was awful it was so awful being dirty that whole time and just really not have anything to do that's the other thing like there was a lot of just like here we are all right and five more days of this okay you guys got

mad at me one time and i felt like i didn't i spent like a large part of the daytime charging batteries so i had to walk back to my truck which was i thought was a good haul you weren't mad okay people somebody was hiking back to the truck was which I thought was a good haul. You weren't mad. Okay, people, somebody was. Hiking back to the truck was like, I'm going to make it out, 20 minutes, something like that. And then I just sat there with the truck running, doing nothing for four hours, waiting for batteries to charge, mostly for recording equipment, the PKA, recording equipment, all that, the cameras. And then I come back and everyone's mad. Like I hadn't participated in daily activities. I was like, I don't know.

Oh, yeah, there's daily activities. I was sitting in hammocks, sweating, smoking cigarettes. Yeah, and I was sitting in a truck. It was AC, I guess, but, like, was I supposed to walk back while the truck was running and then walk back and get the batteries? Like, what was the issue? I didn't give a fuck what anybody did the whole time. You know, once we got out

there and and and that uh the whole fishing thing turned out not to be a thing i swear to god i scouted that thing and i saw a catfish that was big like a big like like like i grew up fishing for catfish and i was like if that big boy's in there there's a feast to be had we never saw a fish the whole time we were there i never saw saw a fish, a deer. I'm not sure I even saw a squirrel. No. We saw one squirrel. It was when we walked to the top of Mount Currahee. We drove most of the way and then walked to that last little bit. And I saw it. I

threw a fucking rock at it because I was so mad. Where were you? Currahee, I owe silver! Were there trails indicating pigs, if I recall? Does that sound right? Deer and pig, yeah. Didn't see any of those.

I had seen a bobcat out there the week before. No, no, while I was there I saw a bobcat. You'd think that Henrietta would have been better bait. Maybe some bobcat would want to come around. I'd have loved to have killed something and eaten it. It was just such a fail. Such a fail. Yeah was such a fail. Yeah.

Well, next time, it'll be better. No, it won't. No, it won't. And I will also get a kick out of watching it. Next time, we'll fake it like Bear Grylls. We'll fucking go out there with fucking an RV. And we'll have a campsite over here. And an RV with like a cooler beer and a big barbecue.

Why does it sound like they're yelling over a generator this whole trip? You're out there doing that confessional. You're like looking at the camera there. He's like, it's day three. I don't know. I just don't know. I feel dehydrated. I feel nauseous.

I'm so filthy. And in the background here, sweet alabama where the skies are blue yeah it's true all right talking about how hungry i am by the end of the week i'm heavier yeah it'd be funny to like just play it up how much we're faking it where it's like oh we found a Slim Jim plant. And then we turn it down. We're like, oh, teriyaki? No, there's... Like you climb up into a tree to forage for eggs

and you come back down with hard-boiled eggs. You're like, oh, these are going to be good. Here, boys, have one. See, guys, these are already deviled. I found some paprika up there, too. I found some paprika for our wild deviled eggs. Crow eggs. What we see here is a wild ham sandwich.

Yeah, those things are not fun. And I don't know if they're that fun to watch either the first one where it was just you and i yeah that there was a lot of like positive energy around watching those they were i think the pacing was really good like most of the videos were like less than two minutes there were maybe 11 of them I uploaded the same day. People just popped them like they were Smarties. Man, I hated that. I was so fucking sick. I couldn't do it again. How long were you sick?

Oh, yeah. He was legit bad sick. I had these sores in my mouth. Maybe I had the syphilis back then. Syphilis, yes. No gonorrhea or whatever it was yeah i just remember like i couldn't i couldn't like like i got out of there and my gps wouldn't work so i had to like just directionally head to georgia as best i could and i got home i got to anderson south carolina at

like 6 a.m or something like, driving all the way through the night. And it was the first time I'd seen a restaurant in a while. And I was like, I think maybe I could try some food now. And I ordered some food and I put one French fry in my mouth. And when it touched the roof of my mouth, the pain was excruciating because I had sores all over the roof of my mouth. And I was just like, I can't eat. Okay.

Were you better the next day, a week later? A day or two. It wasn't, like, all that day I slept. Did you have to get some insurer or something? I don't remember. It's like an old person, like, nutrient shake. Yeah. I don't know.

I don't remember. I just felt like, I just felt awful. I just kept pulling over and vomiting out of my car door. I was no good. I think it awful. I just kept pulling over and vomiting out of my car door. I was no good. I think it was because I drank that river water. As I was swimming, I took a gulp of it. There was a part where I was inhaling

and the wave hit my mouth just right. I was... I drank some fucking... I was fighting the current. I crashed down upon him. I must have not been looking at the waves. Are you really going to discuss the current of that river right now? Oh, you're talking about the crossing?

That never happened. Let's pull that footage out of the archives. Looking back, I think part of it was if I had better footwear, I might have done better. I do think that. I don't know. I think it's a... We need a new topic.

That was a good time. I so wish I hadn't gotten sick. I wish wings had come. That whole thing was just nonsense. That whole thing good time. That was a good time. I so wish I hadn't gotten sick. I wish wings had come. That whole thing was just nonsense. That whole thing was nonsense. If wings had come, we'd have never done that river crossing and my masculinity would be still intact. And I bet I wouldn't have gotten sick because I wouldn't have been in that river. Oh.

The whole chain of events would have been altered. In my head, we'd just be on the side we started on. Yeah, but the whole day would have changed. The timing. I'd have never seen that turtle in particular time. I'd never shot it. That's true. I'd have never gone after it.

Wings made your river crossing what it was, and he got me sick. Wow. He's awful. Yeah, I've had thoughts like that. I got into a car accident crazy long, 19 years old, right? And I'm like, man, the amount of things that had to happen

for us to get into that accident. You know, like, if I had changed lanes three miles earlier, a whole different chain of events would have unfolded. Oh, yeah. If you'd overslept 30 seconds. right. If you, if you take us, if you, if you had eaten a little bit more the night before, so your morning poop was just a little bit longer. I think I need

to wipe once more in any of those things. And that's how all life is. It's weird. And that's why the whole like paradox of infinite timelines and infinite realities is so interesting because like there's so many different ways that everything could be slightly different. That whole Rick and Morty multiverse stuff is really cool to me.

It's like, yeah, there would be a universe where everything was exactly the same, but then there'd also be one where we're all crab people, probably. Is that a reputable theoretical physicist position? Yeah, you're going to have to watch one of those long documentaries, buddy. I'm not going to try to... I'm absolutely not doing that.

Well, I'm going to go with Rick and Morty. I'm going to go by Rick and Morty, and I'm just going to pretend it exists because that's cooler. I'm all caught up on Rick and Morty. I saw the heist one. Was that the third one or the second? The third one. You probably didn't like it.

I don't know if you've seen all the Ocean's Eleven movie. Ocean's like eight and Ocean's Eleven, twelve. Like if you haven't seen all those, there's a lot of inside jokes that just won't hit. I felt like they kept nailing on the double cross aspect of the rope. And there's more to it. Like it just, I double crossed, double crossed you,

double, double across the, right. I predicted your double cross and it's like, come on, there's more tropes than just the one. They hit like a dozen of them though. Like,

like everything, every single one of those, it was a direct reference, uh, mostly to the oceans movies, even the pizza and when the spy cam and like, like all that stuff, like the pizza that was as big as the planet, like going through the Oceans movies, even the pizza and the spy cam and like all that stuff, like the pizza that was as big as the planet, like going through the atmosphere, like the characters that he was like getting for his adventure. And then they did a whole like

Indiana Jones like rip off thing, you know, with the Temple of, not Temple of Doom, but it was the first one. And they're anti boobies. anti-boobie series. Those were the same traps from that movie. The darts and the rolling ball and all that nonsense. Why does Papa John look so wet? He does look slippery. I was going to bring that up as well.

I think that's just because he's likely Italian, right? No, there's something wrong with him. Have you guys seen this video? It's BBC, though. I feel like we're going to get instantly blamed and in trouble. Oh, shit. We don't have to, then. Basically...

What was it that Papa said that got him removed, ousted, as they say, as CEO of Papa John's? It was something racially charged, I believe. And probably the N-word. I don't remember. I don't know. Probably N-word. What did Papa say? racially charged, I believe. And probably the N-word. I don't remember. I don't know. Probably N-word. What did Papa say?

Just put in Papa John's funniest quotes. The N-word on a conference call. Maybe he said, I absolutely hate when people say people don't consider this angle. My article just says a racial slur.

Yeah, probably N-word then. What other racial slur is going to get you kicked off one of the biggest pizza companies on the planet? Yeah, I feel like Savaging America is just ours. Oh, here it is. It says N-word on Forbes. Yeah, so there you go. And now he's saying that Papa John's has changed their formula,

and he's very angry. He said that he's eaten what 40 pizzas this month and he's tested to test out the the product he's not satisfied i watched that and i see people being like he ate 40 pizzas how he how could you eat 40 pizzas in 30 days first First of all, I could do that. Second of all, there's no way he was eating entire pies. He's not eating entire pies. You can eat one slice. 40 slices in 30 days? That's a diet.

Just try it. It's a diet. It's not a very high-protein diet. Eat one and one-third slice of pizza every day. And nothing else but water? Yeah, that would probably be a diet. You would lose weight precipitously if you ate one and a third slices of pizza.

That's probably less than 500 calories. It definitely is. Yeah. Unless it's like deep dish, then it's probably like only like 500. Yeah, like Chicago style or something. But what about Papa John's pizza? It's not that robust. Yeah. But you also with Papa John's, every time i order papa john's it's because i'm like damn that garlic butter sauce sounds dope as fuck right now i just want i can't wait to eat one slice of pizza saturated in it and then be upset that they only gave me one that's

exactly how i eat it yeah but you don't just put the crust in it. Oh, no. Oh, I did the whole fucking thing in there. Yeah. Oh, I don't drizzle. I just dip, dip, dip, dip, dip. Oh, I eat the pizza almost against my will, for lack of a better term. I eat the pizza so I can get to the crust, which is a butter shovel.

They have breadsticks. For Papa John's or for just pizza in general? Because I think Papa John's's as far as fast food goes is pretty solid pizza yeah yeah i think i'm talking about papa john's yeah but i've switched over to pizza hut because i like the crusty cheesy crust yeah but i don't actually eat any of these it's probably been over a year since i've had yeah i don't eat a lot of pizza um i like pizza occasionally but i i'm not like some people are like really obsessed with it. And like, like, like the way that like, like I love hamburgers,

like, like I can get into hamburger culture, but pizza culture, I'm just like, yeah. I watched this whole series of videos about these guys who tour America, like, like, and they like eat hamburgers and all the different kinds of ways and all these fancy, like old timey restaurants. Some of them cook them in beef tallow. Some of them fry them. Some of them put them in beef tallow some of them fry them some of them put them in this special contraption with like cheese on top and it like steam cooks

everything together like like some stuff them with gouda like like all these crazy burgers yeah um it's good so good but pizza i don't give a shit like the whole thing first of all new york style pizza is not my favorite at all. It's super thick. We've done this. We're not going to do this again. We're not going to do this again. I have some foods that are bad for me that I'm like,

what? I don't allow pizza in this temple. It is strictly a raisin M&M almond trail mix temple over here. Like Wendy's chilies and sweet tea. How could he do that meanwhile i've got my own vices i got a keychain that gives me free junior frosties for a year nice damn i want what's the deal with that keychain i gave him two dollars they put it on my key that was a good investment yeah it seems like a terrible ROI for them. Have you ever seen a Junior Frosty?

Maybe it gets him to go to Wendy's more often. It's just occurring to me, right? If they're like, hey, we'll give you a free Junior Frosty, but we know damn well you're going to order a whole meal with it. Probably. Oh, of course. They wouldn't do that.

Jokes on them. I'm a Junior Frosty. Nope. Don't even. Nope. Jinga-jinga-jinga-jing. I don't even let's go a junior frosty is like a shot of frosty it's literally like a double shot or something it's probably

two and a half three ounces maybe of frosty but I want that that's all I want anyway I don't want a huge thing of ice cream I just want taste just give me a little I never thought of that but I think you're right yeah I a hankering for ice cream this weekend but i didn't have any but i was like somehow on my drive home i was like i'm gonna stop and get a milkshake or something i'm gonna treat myself but i didn't i don't think i've ever craved ice cream in my

entire life like when i crave something i crave buffalo wings i'll crave pizza like i'm totally different from kyle there i fucking love pizza i'll crave like pretzels cheese it's i've been on a great uh cheese it not binge recently i haven't bought cheese it's in quite a while so things are well i'm just filling those calories with other things so i guess it's not looking up i have an excellent merchandise idea. Remind me after the show to share with you guys. I don't think I should talk about it. It's a very good one.

It's a small item, $5 to $7. Hilarious design. You're going to like it. You're going to like it. Well, maybe you will. I'll like it. Maybe you'll like it. Let me not sell it so hard.

I'm doing it one way or another. It's happening. Even if I'm the only customer, I'm buying this thing. I'm going to have mine. I'm going to have mine. Yeah. Do you put hot sauce on your pizza? I always do.

A little Tabaski. Yeah. I got this Taco Bell hot sauce the other day. It's an entire bottle of Taco Bell hot sauce. Taco Bell hot sauce. Yeah. I love the Taco Bell hot sauce the other day. It's an entire bottle of Taco Bell hot sauce. Yeah, I love the Taco Bell hot sauce. It's one of my favorite hot sauces. It's not that hot.

It looks like red hot. Oh, is that just regular hot? I always get Diablo when I go. Yeah, it's just hot. So you can really pour it on. You can sip it. I guess you could. It's a good sipping sauce.

Proof is. Oh, wait. Never mind. Yeah, it's good stuff. I like it a lot. When I order Taco Bell, I just go ahead and go straight to the bottle. You know? No tearing those little packets apart.

No thank you. I don't want to dab. Well, I do want to dab, but I don't want to dab a hot sauce. He needs the dance move, officer. I do want to dab, but I want to dab a hot sauce. He needs the dance move, officer. I can want what I want. They can't take away my dreams. Kyle wants to wake up every morning

to a nice giant dab of Taco Bell hot sauce. Yes, 95% cayenne. It really smooths the morning over. Breaking Bad, they put chili pepper in the meth originally.

It was his own formula. Well, that was the guy. That was Taco or whatever the fuck his name was. I thought that was the guy. That was Taco or whatever the fuck his name was. I thought that was what Jesse was doing. Walter was like, are you fucking kidding me? You put chili powder in the meth?

I don't know anything about meth, but I know you don't put chili powder in meth. No, it makes it spicy. It's not a taquito, Jesse. I need to rewatch that show. I was about to say, that's a. I need to re-watch that show. I was about to say, that's a show I'll never re-watch. Really? That and Game of Thrones.

I'll never re-watch those. I thought the ending of Breaking Bad was super satisfying. Opposite of Game of Thrones. Yes. Look, they wrote it up real nicely. I do think it was a very good ending. It's just not the ending that I wanted. Now, look, I accept the ending.

Unlike Game of Thrones, I'm unaccepting of that ending. I think that's horseshit, and I find it to be insulting. Yeah, for sure. But with Breaking Bad, I'm like, that's a smart ending. That's a realistic ending. That's a good ending. It's just not what I would have preferred, you know, because I like Walt. Walt's supposed to be the bad guy and you're supposed to start hating Walt, I guess.

I like Walt. I hate Walt's family at the end. I wish that the Mexicans had killed them. That fat, mouthy cunt of a wife of his and that crippled fucking kid of his needed to go. I wanted Walt to go fucking Scarface style for another season. I wanted him to be the Tony Montana of Albuquerque, New Mexico. Just fucking. It would have been good.

I wanted that. I wanted him to go out on top in a blaze of glory and not limping to the end of the race with his family having abandoned him. Yeah, Skylar at no point during that show was like, oh, she's fun. She sucks. And then the other kid just,

are we gonna have breakfast? Like, that kind of shit. No, that sucks jeep crip you guys lay on her so hard she had to protect her family from the man who was supposed to protect her family don't care it was boring right initially she wanted a divorce but she stuck with him and she became the money launderer what about that lazy hand job remember that all right you went over yeah this is not a good wife this is not a good wife yeah she's not a partner she's an associate she's a cunt i really am having a hard time getting over the lazy hand and look

and and when i talk about like her gaining weight people like well she was pregnant in the show she was dude you didn't see el camino yet did you like big max did you see el camino i haven't watched it because of my my hatred for the end okay so el camino doesn't take place at the end el camino i'm not that good at breaking bad to tell you but remember when jesse was like locked up underground for some period of time i do i think it took place right after that. But before the ending, the challenge is it jumps around in timeline a lot, but the characters are all older. I should say the actors are all older.

So I'm trying to figure out that like this happened at the beginning, but who's the blonde guy who's kind of, he seemed nice, but he was actually really cruel. Meth Damon. Perfect? Meth Damon. Perfect, Meth Damon. Well, Meth Damon has gained a lot of weight since he was filmed 10 years ago.

He looks 20 years older. Bloated is the word you're looking for. But it added weight to him in a non-flattering way, and age. And so I'm trying to understand this timeline. Like, Meth Damon is supposed to be younger here but when it's like the flashbacks where he's older and it for me it was a badge or something that says 27 oh okay okay yeah he's just out there and they're like asking to drive he's like but i've only just got my license. What's Jesse's actor's name? Aaron

something maybe? Aaron Paul. Okay. So Aaron Paul actually aged really well. He could pass for the whole thing. But a lot of the other actors had aged a ton and it made it challenging for me to follow the timeline. I bet, what's his name? The fat cop. I don't know if he's in it.

Hank? Yeah, Hank. I bet he has not aged well uncle hank but uncle hey uncle hey i love doing jimmy boy yeah fuck all those motherfuckers i hated them all what was my my god what when what when when hank finds out and he's not like he's not like... He's a cop.

Being a cop is his job, all right? Walter is his family. He should be like, look, Walter. You're leaving this town. You're out of my jurisdiction. You do you. I do me. I don't want to see you again.

That should have been his reaction. Instead, he's like, I'm taking you down one way or another. And Walt's like, watch your step. Now they're enemies. And then Walt makes that video. Oh, when he made that video.

And I love the parodies of Hank and Marie watching the Walt video where he's like, he's saying that he's saying that like, he's, he's implicating Hank as the drug Kingpin and how Hank's been threatening him and making him cook meth. And how like, like, like in case anyone ever finds this in case I'm,

in case I'm dead, you know, he's just like, like he puts on an Oscar worthy performance in that video and he just comes in and hands it to Hank and he, Hank and Marie are watching it. Just gobsmacked just horrified yeah she's literally and they did that parody where where they flip back to what they're actually seeing and it's it's him in malcolm in the middle doing a dance routine roller skate.

Dude, that show, criminally underrated. I mean, I haven't watched it in years and years. When I was a kid, I thought Malcolm in the Middle was hilarious. Oh, Malcolm in the Middle. Yeah. I find it, there's one inspiring. If I remember right, they're hiding under a table for one reason or another.

And Hank asks Malcolm how his day is. And Malcolm is like, I'm having a hard time. i remember right they're hiding under a table for one reason or another and and hank asks malcolm how his day is and malcolm is like oh i'm having a hard time i'm getting bullied by this guy at this guy and all dad does is go reese on it fucking handled i'm like that was the best scene i loved it i loved it yeah i don't remember what episode it is but i like the meme picture where it's like, whatever his name is, Walter White, like marching like this in the street.

And there's like nine jacked, oiled up bodybuilders behind him. Have you seen that? I like it when he was a speed Walker. I think that's when he was, did he have a helmet on? That was like a latex suit or something. Yeah.

He's so funny in that show. or something. Yeah, Lycra. Yeah. Just walking around. Dude, he's so funny in that show. That's why I loved him in Breaking Bad. Like, I don't know. The range. Yeah, the range is it. Like, you know, Joaquin Phoenix did great in Joker, right? He nailed the Joker.

But he played the same mood all through the Joker. Walter White impresses me because he can be a comedic actor or I'm saying Walter, right? What's his name? Walter White. Oh, the character or the actor? Yeah.

Bryan Cranston. Bryan Cranston can be Malcolm's dad or Walter White. And that's where I'm impressed. I still hard disagree on the Joker only having one note on that. I think it's really good. Most people agreed with you, but in my stream, most people agreed with me. I think that's cool. Well, we're going to go with my stream. Welcome to Ban World.

Yeah, welcome to Ban World. I was banning people in your chat. Not really. Just threatening. You're just banning everyone who is like, Joker is not that bad ban anyone who liked the joker ban anyone who yeah well i already i have the rule ban anyone who insults my gaming skill if you think i'm picking the wrong moves when fighting a nazi

cow in south park guess what you can you can fuck off and i might i might even come to your house and do something that is within line of twitch terms of service i'm a proud carried diamond in borderlands like are you still playing that no well we finished it in borderlands you you play through it and then you play through the whole same thing again but at a higher difficulty and when that was done i kind of put it down for a while it turns out i chose the worst character to play in a lot of ways you play zane i think is his name but um he's underpowered and hard to excel with so i don't know if i would have played better with a younger guy did you look him up beforehand like what's his like mo of a? Is he like a gun guy? They usually do that.

He can make a clone of himself, and he can throw up a shield. And that's it. But it turns out to be a weak combo, whereas other people are just using their gun and making massive walls of fire and explosions. I kind of had a pea shooter the whole way through. That sucks. But when I chose chose him the game was so new i think people didn't have the expertise to guide me better i feel yeah yeah i could see myself playing that game like it's just a lot of fun

i love borderlands it's just low pressure good times kind of game like if you die i feel like you respawn so close to where you died it doesn't even matter that's true and and also you can kind of engage in distant like you spend some time traveling from here to there you know darn well you can stand here safe for days or walk forward 100 feet and start a gunfight that lets you sort of engage the chat when you can and you know disengage and stuff like that. Yeah, for sure. I could stand behind cover and be safe there.

Can't do that in COD. You know, they'll get you in half a second. I'll never be able to play COD on stream. I would just, I would get, I would forget to talk for like five minutes as I'm trying to not be an absolute ass. Right.

And I think COD's a pretty fun game if people are good at it. Like I was watching Syndicate. He was just slaying. He was. Kyle seemed unsurprised at how good Syndicate was. I mean, obviously, he's a good player. I just didn't think that he'd still be on top of his game just wrecking like that. He was. So it's fun to watch him play. Syndicate? Yeah.

Yeah, he must be. He's supremely popular still. Good for him. Yeah. Yeah, we should do a... Never mind. I'm not going to say it that loud. I have another idea. I'm stowing away.

Put it in the chat so we don't forget. I'm stowing it away from you. Oh. No, this is just a woody and kyle idea though oh i already know it on the outs on the outs with my boys did i do this topic already they changed the definition of literally yep well i'll delete it from my list of potential topics yeah we did that one yeah literally i'm so glad i got my fucking heat fixed that was there

was some kind of pressure valve or something clogged in the furnace i don't know what it was was it dumbly expensive to fix no oh no very cheap no it was like no big deal he went up in the attic clickety click click clack came back down and the best part about the whole thing was i had never changed that air filter and he's like um you need to change that air filter those are three month filters and i'm like i've never changed it he's like yeah i know i looked at it it was black i'm like what color are they normally he's like light blue or light gray isn't three months not very long for an air filter? I think that's the schedule. If so, I need to change mine.

You might need to change yours. Yeah, I think three. So I find if they're on the ceiling or up high, you can get away with a little more. If they're near the floor, three months is a lot. This was the main one, like on the furnace itself, that the intake air is going through, I suppose. And it was in terrible

shape. I've called, like I have the home insurance thing that you have for like the first whatever year or so of your house. And it's $75 to have the people come out and work on it. I have had three different plumbers from three

different companies come out okay which means i'm in the hole for the over 200 buckaroos in calculus and to fix my in calculus 200 and some odd no clue no and like they come in it's my kitchen sink like my main one and they have somehow each one of them have made it worse than the last wait what it will be did you define the problem i'm lost yeah the problem is like under my my garbage disposal it'll just start dripping water like after i run the disposal or if i'm like washing a bunch of dishes on that side of the sink i have like a partition sink and like at first it was like a trickle and so i put like a bowl down there when i first bought the house and it was like oh well i could i could forget about this bowl for fucking four months if i

wanted to and it's not going to fill up all the way now now it's like it'll fill up in a day of washing dishes if i don't if i don't empty it out and so it's like what the fuck this is i'm about to throw a fucking hissy fit at my home insurance company and make sure they actually send somebody out who can fix it because every time the plumber's all confident as fuck being like oh yeah the guy who did this before he forgot to tighten the whatever he forgot to do this he forgot to do that and then they'll leave and it'll be all fucking fine for four days yeah they test it and it'll be like but i mean they're testing it for a minute right you know as they're leaving and every time it's gotten worse and so i'm fucking tired of these shyster plumbers coming out sabotaging my

home i don't care for it enough is enough hmm yeah so i need to i need to i even like i've started looking at youtube videos trying to fix it myself and i'm pretty sure the guy who put it in just did it wrong back in the day i don't know yeah kyle and i are the opposite ends of the spectrum for plumbing kyle doesn't seem to mind it too much i hate plumbing it is my least favorite household task it's the there's two things that are awful about it one i feel like the consequences are kind of high right water gets on like particle board cabinets and then they're ruined for they're quite the same again that sucks um two every time i do plumbing it's in the least convenient place in the history of inconvenient places your garbage disposal i can imagine working on that upside down in the dark with that uh cabinet very sharp edge digging into my back yeah you know it's i've done it i'm going all the way

in i've done this job i've i've the way in. I've done this job. I've installed a washing dishwasher, I mean to say, and you hook it up to the garbage disposal. People don't know that's where the water goes out. So it's not pleasant, and I would rather hire someone. Yeah. Yeah. I would rather hire someone for most things like that, you know,

just to avoid the – like I do little things. Like Kitty's washer is like one of those fancy, like that. I do little things. Kitty's washer is one of those fancy super high efficiency Samsung deals that was way overpriced. Thousands of dollars. Dish or clothes? Clothes.

It gets clogged if anything gets in there at all that shouldn't be in there. Even tiny socks will make it through the system and they get clogged and there's a plug you've got to go in and twist a quarter turn or a half turn and pull out and all the gook is in there and you've got to get that out. But the problem is getting to that plug requires a complete disassembly

of the washing machine. The top comes off, the front door comes off, the control panel comes off. Do you guys live near each other no yeah oh it's it's a whole thing it's it's a i'm a pit crew doing it now i can fucking rip that thing apart and put it back together in 10 minutes i timed myself this last time 20 in the plug i was like aha tip aha dumb bitch. You're not

getting your 20 back. Hope she doesn't watch the show. She does. Of course she does. She doesn't actually believe that I think that. She's a good woman. Everyone likes Kitty. Taylor says. No one has been.

Taylor said in true sincerity, something that you will find troubling yes i never did like him big ass headed fool big headed retard is what i say we have him in the in the stocks where i'm from throwing tomatoes at him. That's a hilarious punishment that needs to come back. My head slides right out of the stocks, but good luck, Taylor.

I'll never forget. We had this project at school where, I don't remember exactly what the deal was, but we were doing some sort of history project. My project was, I was going to build a stockade and uh and dad was like you're doing this work yourself he was like he was like you know i'm not your mom where i'm gonna like like look over your shoulders like here the tools are here's what

you should do you build your own stockade this would be cool and i so i take a two by six and i draw the holes and i cut them out and then i i make a hinge you know so now you've got like the head and the hands and i and it works you know i test it nice build some four by four posts and i build legs for the thing to sit on one other student also decided to make a stockade heather stone she's got such severe arthritis she's in a wheelchair and can barely walk her father made her a stockade that could have been on an episode of game of thrones and nobody would have minded and i show up with my shit made out of two by sixes and four by fours and i'm like why is her wood black what kind of

wood even is that i've never that's old-time medieval wood. He's got reclaimed wood. It was very upsetting. It was upsetting. I want to think he charred it. I wanted to be like, all right, put her in it now. Prop that crickety bitch up and put her in it. Come on, get in there, Heather. Her dad's a dentist and she had rotten teeth. Got him.

That's what you get, Heather. That's what you get. Rotten ass teeth with your shitty hands. Yeah, you might have had a nice stockade, but you never got to play volleyball, did you? Ho ho! Ho! Look who's winning now because Kyle got to play volleyball every year. Loved it.

Loved volleyball. I was tall for my age. Yeah, I was never good at volleyball. I mostly found volleyball boring when we'd have to play that in gym when i was in like hard when i was in eighth grade of course eighth graders are king of their school right that's the end of what we called intermediate school and i was better than average at volleyball you know as one of those guys who would run around and sort of keep it in the air and uh then as a freshman in high school i I thought like, oh, this will be a nice way to make friends and like whatever.

Oh, my God. Those young adults beat the fuck out of my volleyball. Like I'm hitting it up and they're like, what? It's like slam it down. It was like a whole new thing. It's like, oh, these high school kids play volleyball different than the middle school kids. I took gym as a senior. So, I mean, I played against, like, freshmen.

And my buddy was. Picture a 14-year-old with the body of a 9-year-old. My buddy was 6'4", and he was the state pole vaulting champion. Not only does he have hops, he's already got about 4 or 5 inches on everybody. And he's playing as freshmen. I'm fucking popping them up. They're coming from an angle these kids can't even comprehend right it was so much fun to play yeah i remember a gym gym story where we were playing uh kickball and the the gym teacher would always pitch to try and equalize the difference because one team always

had a way better pitcher and that kind of thing with with you know that rubber ball and whatnot and but he would always make some students stand by him usually the most impotent student on his team would be the one where it's like all right alan you come stand by me you're playing pitcher which means you stand there and stay out of the way and i genuinely don't remember if it was my kick. I was really good at kicking it hard, or someone else on my team was good at kicking it hard, and this kid, he's like 12 feet away, or 15 feet away. It's fucking kickball pitches,

and he had never caught anything. He was overweight to a large degree, and fucking weird, and big ginger kid, and someone kicked it so fucking hard and it hit him in the face just not even like the the mime of hands coming up to try and get it just hands fully at his side as this thing just blasts him in the face and have you ever heard the sound of someone like after they get knocked out and it's like yeah he wasn't knocked out but it was still the sound he got clobbered right in the face of it and it bounced off we got like a triple on the play it was pretty nice

and he was just standing there with his head still back being dramatic and he'd be like alex alex stop stop you're fine you're fine you didn't get to play pitcher anymore i think he actually got to go to the nurse not have to play i remember that was another one of those weird kids who wouldn't shower after pe and it was like dude you sweat just standing around you need to shower you smell gross i was in high school right now and then like young high school freshman sophomore something like that we're playing some inconsequential game of baseball where I'm one of the like eight outfielders. And they hit the ball to me and I want to throw it to first. I don't know the scenario, but I just knew in my heart of hearts that that's where I was supposed to throw it.

And one of the good players who knew what the fuck, like how to play baseball was like, Woody, throw it to me. Throw it to me. But this guy's an asshole and I can't trust him. And I don't know if I'm supposed to throw it to him or not. But he really is telling me, throw it to me. Just like, no, no, don't. I know what you're thinking. Throw it to me.

And I don't. And then I learned that I should have. And it didn't go well. We may have lost the whole game because of me. And at the time I felt like a dick because I didn't throw it we may have lost the whole game because of me and at the time i felt like a dick because i didn't throw it to him but now i feel differently if he hadn't been a dick all the time i would have thrown it to him but it was because the lack of trust in the first place that it didn't didn't do what he wanted he's really to blame i remember in i guess it was

like sixth grade or something we would play floor hockey in gym like just like you know the little flat puck and you know you're running around with those shitty little sticks and hardly anybody could get the puck off the ground and i thought i was hot shit because i'd played hockey for even in sixth grade for like six years at that point and i was good at getting the puck off the ground i could shoot it fucking hard and i remember like intentionally trying to roof it and and to you know impress all my my sixth grade gal pals and there's one time i was like deacon through everybody's terrible because it's hockey and if you don't play it you just fucking suck and there's this girl who the teacher had told to play defense like right in front of the

net and i wound up with just a wicked wrister and was like i'm roofing this bitch i'm i'm gonna put it bar down and i fired this thing and ashley if you're out there sorry about that i caught her right in the mouth so hard it went way higher than i was anticipating it would have gone three feet above the net if she wasn't in the way but it just pop just right in her fucking mouth and then he made a rule that you couldn't lift the puck anymore and and floor hockey became very dumb did she her teeth were fine though you didn't i think you're like gums were bleeding but her teeth were fine yeah it was like one of those like rubber pucks you didn't get that hockey smile in six years old

for no good reason no no we were sixth grade so we were like 12 so i was you know 12 year old taylor had a little bit of oomph behind those yeah and a full beard i'm sorry i didn't mean to well now ashley's missing a tooth how do you like that yeah yeah that was that was fun man floor hockey every time you come into gym in like grade school and they announced it was floor hockey day i was so stoked i loved it i liked crab soccer with the um little dollies you sit on oh yeah where you just mash your fingers accidentally every so often maybe you i'm kind of a crab soccer savant over here. I'm a bit of a virtuoso when it comes to crab soccer. I just had wheels, man. I could roll.

I was a little faster than most. I enjoyed it. No one's good at that game. So it looks like they're going to sign this fight agreement. So I got to ask you now that it's probably going to happen. Khabib or Tony? Tony all the way. Well, okay.

My first guess is that the fight doesn't happen. But assuming the fight does happen, I think this is their fifth attempt. Khabib. Fun, man. It's fun. Can't wait to watch. What Khabib is good at,

for people who watch fights with just a little, taking a guy to the fence, pinning him to the ground, and smashing him from there. What his opponent is good at is being successful even when someone tries to do that to you. Even from his back,

he hurts you a lot. And he's very tricky, and it's not going to be like him against Conor, or him against Michael Conor or him against Michael Johnson or him against these other guys where he just smashes them and they don't have an answer for it. Tony might enjoy a little

smashing. He's crazy. He's like one of those flagellating priests. He's coming in there. He's like praying before the fight. I deserve this. I deserve this punishment. Give it to me. Ten years from now, Tony is going to be in jail,

but for right now, I really enjoy him on my TV. Oh, I want him to cut Khabib up. I want him to fucking cut him up. Oh, he cuts everybody. He's a scary motherfucker. He's one of the... I would hate to fight him.

Right? Like some of the fighters would just knock you out or submit you, right? Tony's going to cut you. Yes. All of his opponents look horrible. They're forever different looking than after that.

Yeah. It's a different kind of fight. Different consequences. A knockout isn't that awful. You'll be okay next week. If you fight Joe Lozon, you know what's going to happen? He'll use his hands to get close and then submit you on the ground. That's probably what goes down.

So what am I going to end up with? Eh, you know, probably a bruised up forehead, a black eye, and a rear naked choke. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Tony will make me look different forever. Yeah. Tony is going to send you to the ER if you're able to hang in there long enough to take the punishment.

If he wants to torture you, he will torture torture you because he doesn't have to end you he could just keep going all night throwing throwing spinny shit that just glances at off your fucking eyes pre-fight media days i'm gonna be the most polite motherfucker ever i've got a lot of respect for tony and i think his kid might have been the devil when he said that. I'm keeping an eye on you, young man. A little holy water over there. Fucking Tony is literally, I've said it before, but it's so funny that he is that Key and Peele bit. He literally is crazy.

He's mentally unstable. He has is crazy. He's mentally unstable. He's been committed. He has had breakdowns. I was in a bad place and I thought about hurting myself. Not those kind of breakdowns that lots of famous people have. Lots of individuals have. There's nothing to be ashamed of

for those either. He has the kind where you think you need to go to the desert because of an apocalypse. The fireplace mantle was bugged. He hears voices in the wall he tears his house apart looking for the cameras and microphones he kidnaps his own children he jumps out of moving cars he went bananas he's very good at fighting crazy helps crazy helps i mean you see like they'll get close and he'll do a little barrel roll away from or something like i've never seen that outside of a kung fu movie i feel like he's just watching

bruce lee movies going like yeah i could do that he's always exercising always exercising i i wonder if he's passing drug tests like or how because he looks a little suspicious to me and the fact that he works out as hard as he does, and he's like knocking on the door 40, right? How old is he? I thought it was early thirties. I think he's a little older than you're thinking.

35. Okay. He's 35 and his birthday's what a bad motherfucker. February. Yes. He's almost 36. Um, he'll be 36 for the fight yet somehow he exercises always like during the weigh-ins he's got like little grip balls and shit like he's

yeah he's always if he's awake he's finding some i can't wait i i i he's a weird fucker i don't like his interviews i don't like looking at him either he's a weird fucker. I don't like his interviews. I don't like looking at him either. He's a weird looking dude. Keep those glasses on, bro. Actually, don't hurt me, Tony. But I love him on my TV. 100% of everyone, every other professional fighter, if someone were to tweet them that little clip of me saying that, they'd be like, they wouldn't even click it. Tony might click it.

Get angry and come get me. He's that he's that crazy pretty fun but why is the fight so far away it's in april mid-april who fucking knows i know they're not training camps who does six month camps fucking champions that's not even true like six months is too long for a camp you'll break down we got good fights halfway through december you know yeah two weeks from now yeah the new it's nunez and uh and uh uzman covington is the man to me uh jermaine durand to me uh kamara uzman and covington holloway is fighting uh volkanovsky and uh mary morales is fighting Volkanovski and Marion Morales is fighting Jose Aldo. And Uriah Faber's fighting on that card too. So that'd be cool. Super cool card.

They've obviously put three championship fights on one card. They're trying to do one of their super cards. I'll check it out. Hell yeah. And a couple of my favorite fighters. Holloway's always good. And Jose Aldo's a fucking beast too. Yeah, and the guy he's fighting is a beast. I think they're trying to build Morales' name off

Jose Aldo, I guess. Good luck with that. Good luck with that. Jose only loses if it's to the best, really. Max Holloway. Yeah. And Connor. Yeah.

Call it a show? Yeah, I think so. Hope you guys enjoyed. P.K.A. 467. Happy Thanksgiving. Alright, so here's my idea. No post rolls? Wait, wait, wait. It's rolling. Nah. Nah, no post rolls are good.