Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #471

Episode Date: January 3, 2020

In this week's PKA, it's just the boys celebrating Christmas this week! Woody rocking his fruity Xmas sweater, the boys talk about the controversy surrounding Joe Rogan's body because of his disgusting HGH gut, turns out Taylor was slightly correct about chickens (other birds) and how they reproduce and the guys talk about the new Witcher series that dropped on Netflix. So get some eggnog and enjoy this Xmasific episode of the show.

pka episode 471 kyle a couple sponsors tonight get quip and blue chew we'll talk about them later on the show of course but yeah just the three of us it is christmas after all it was hard to uh nab a guest tonight but i don't think that's gonna hold us back plenty of topics like lots of holiday cheer to go around i'm sure we all had a wonderful holiday whichever holiday we all that's beautiful bitter pattern let's get at her this shirt was such a disappointment it was supposed to be a christmas sweater it on online it looked knit it looked like a sweater the picture that they had taken after it came and i was so disappointed this is like like a thick version of those high

performance shirts that a professional gamer might wear and it's not at all what i it's supposed to be a sweater and on camera it looks fine i'm sure in person it looks pretty shit it's some of the fabric where like if it caught fire it would immediately melt to your clothes did you not bring this to war. It's really bad. Have you ever seen those old videos warning women not to wear stockings on airlines? No. They show what happens if stockings...

First of all, don't wear stockings anytime, ladies. Those things are made of gasoline or gunpowder or both. I'm not sure which. When they go up, it's like a flash fire. It's like flash powder, and they just melt to your flesh. It's instant, and it makes them totally unfuckable.

Yeah. We won't want you. It ruins their skin. Yeah, I certainly don't. I mean, I'd still fuck you. That's the point of going on. Isn't it funny? You know how there's certain people you have the most empathy for? Burn victims. Burn victims are up there. People yeah burn victims are up there people with

lazy eyes are are up there for me like just like weird little things like that people speech impediments i have that like if someone has like a bad speech impediment i like in my head i'm like irish that's so terrible the irish bringing that one back but like imagine like if a woman with like you know where burn victims get where like it's so bad that their neck skin just becomes a line of skin? Where it's like, if you ever were like, hey, Susan, she'd have to turn her body around. That's me the entire time I train Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Yeah, because the neck doesn't work. Going like this.

But if you were asked to give a pity fuck to someone who had bad burns on their body, would that empathy be enough to push you to do it? No. I was on Reddit the other day. The pussy is in play, let me say. The pussy's fine, not burned. Yeah, what about the opposite situation? Everything else is kind of a mayhem. Where the neck is fine, but that poor woman spilled the McDonald's coffee on her pussy.

Oh, that was a mystery. Have you ever seen the pictures of that bitch's legs? She deserved every dime. Yeah. Oh, yeah. oh you ever seen the pictures of that bitch's legs she deserved every dime yeah oh yeah like you that was like the meme for the longest time where it's like if you consume mcdonald's for coffee being too hot and then you look at the details and it's like they served her 400 degree almost in a gaseous form but there's more to it i just imagine them handing it to her with

with like an ingot they've got those pliers those blacksmith tongs there's a thing here's the thing people don't know mcdonald's did a study right and the study said that it took 15 that people they had free refills on their coffee and if they served the coffee hot enough they could get out of giving free refills so they intentionally served burning hot scalding dangerous coffee to save on the refill and they were really guilty of hurting that woman oh yeah and how much is coffee mcdonald's you bitch i don't have enough already they have i mean yeah taylor if you think about the number of people they serve it adds up to dozens of dollars that's true hundreds at the very least we're think about the number of people they serve, it adds up to dozens of dollars. That's true.

Hundreds at the very least. We're talking about the burn victims and not being fuckable. There was a double pitiable person, a blind burn victim. Oh, poor person. A lady was on Reddit the other day. Maybe that's a blessing in disguise. She can still feel it. Did she burn herself because she's blind and tipped over something like a candle?

I wonder if she got burned. Or did she just get burned in that blind or two? Because that's a two birds, one stone shitty situation. She looked fine from the head up, but her torso was just a real horror show. And she's wearing a bikini. Like a 6 out of 10.

That's giving her the burn victim bonus. Ooh. a six out of ten okay that's that's giving her the that's giving her the burn victim bonus yeah anyway it looks like half melted wax she's smiling and and they're like she's wearing the bikini and she's smiling and she's all burnt up and she's blind and the number one comment i love her smile someone's trying extra hard to be nice this holiday season just no left i got smiling i'm grimacing you look absolutely she looks ravenous burn victim that's got to be the worst kind of injury to have is if it's on your face or a big part of your body because it's like it seems like your skin just doesn't recover from that you're just kind of fucked i wonder how well it can recover like we've all seen the worst of it but what does modern medicine do now with skin

like they can get you people are very sensitive especially to faces not being quite right if you're just a little bit off we're on top of it uh but how well can they do now not that i don't know probably not this lady was last week all right like well then she's not done right i want to see a woman who was burned five years ago that's what this was she these weren't fresh burns i mean she was she was like a old-timey burn victim there's nothing they can do there's actually a movie coming out called rabbit or something about this lady who gets terribly this lady gets terribly disfigured her face it's like the skin is ripped off her jaw her like cheeks and her teeth are all exposed like and uh and she goes to this experimental clinic with it that uses stem

cells but the stem cells somehow turn her into some sort of like bloodthirsty rabid person it's uh it's one of those like you know it's a horror movie. I would imagine stem cells is the next leap forward because skin grafts, that's just not treating the underlying issue. Fish skin is huge. We talked about this, where you guys

thought I was lying when I said that that trans person got a pussy made of fish skin. I've forgotten this conversation and I still think you're lying. We went through it last time. I wasn't lying. Taylor, are you new here? You expect me to remember? Woody doesn't know what he had for breakfast.

Oh, we figured out tilapia skin. Like if you burn yourself real bad, you can use that. And that apparently is pretty helpful. And it doesn't give you scales. Like it apparently just kind of looks like. Of course it doesn't give you scale. They use a scaleless fin, don't they? Scaleless fish dummy. That's why it't give you scale. They use a scaleless fin down their scaleless fish, dummy.

That's why it's all catfish. Very smooth. I just made that up. It's catfish. That horrible catfish. Ah, you can see the whiskers. Look. Careful with them. He'll whip at you. Dude, while we're body shaming,

should we move on to Joe Rogan? Does he deserve any body shaming? I can't body shame that guy. He deserves praise. Ooh, interesting. I thought I was going to have the only take on this. I didn't think... Here, let me pull up...

The dude's like 55 and looks powerful. Oh my gosh, that's exactly what I think. He's got an HGH body or TRT or something, but I'm fat. I can't throw stones at him. He's not fat. He looks powerful. No, no, I said I'm fat. Oh, okay.

But he has an HGH body. You haven't seen this photo yet, but you... I've seen it. Oh, you haven't? Yeah. I'm going to link it so you have it. These are way too big for my body look. You have it in front of you. Which is a side effect of HGH, right? Oh, okay. Alright. So look. His midsection...

Alright, so that's not fat. Right. One of the issues I think that we're going to have with this particular image is the resolution is a little low because it's like a screen cap or whatever. Okay. So what are actually abs look kind of like fade together and kind of look like flab. But he does have an unnatural look about him. It is an unnatural look. unnatural look about him he's it is an unnatural look however i i'm gonna go with that that thing woody says all the time about how like those those old ladies with facelifts well you don't look old

or young you you're a whole new thing and i don't think it's necessarily worse than the alternative yeah exactly so i showed this picture to my wife and daughter and they both thought he was horrific and i'm like ah i get that he's not your standard i like kyle's phrasing of a whole new thing but when you look at 52 i'm pretty sure about that 52 year olds i think that's a top five percent body 52 year old comedians who sit in a chair all day yeah that that's a top five percent body i think. I think that whatever version of him that has never had testosterone and HGH and stuff. Maybe if your thing is being particularly sensitive to bubble guts or whatever, then you disagree. But, dude, whatever hypothetical universe Joe is out there, I think it's way worse than that.

I mean, I didn't follow the picture and like read all the threads or anything but what i was seeing from people at least on twitter of the picture was like no one was saying oh joe's fat it was more like i we knew it we knew he was on a bunch of hgh he's got hgh gut got him as if like you couldn't tell like his head might be almost as big as mine at this point like almost can you imagine if i got on hgh i would look absurd big brow ridge but yeah look at his shoulder girdle like his the under the nice cut under his pecs the he's got a nice cut under his pecs the traps next to is if people don't, it's this muscle here. It kind of goes from your neck to your deltoids like that. And you can look a little pencil necky.

Like he looks buff. If you look from his neck to his chest, like 1% better, you know, very good. His belly, you know, like some people are going to get turned off by that. But I see it and think, yeah, he's like a Brock Lesnar-y kind of big, thick guy, but not fat. He's just got big organs now. Yeah, I don't know. I wonder if HGH is worth it, right? Because correct me if you guys know more about this, but it's my understanding that people take HGH to pair with testosterone for all their joint health and their ligaments. If you just take T, people get injured, at least in sports like hockey or whatever.

But if you take HGH, then all of a sudden you're durable as well as strong because you're on HGH. Does that sound right? Do you guys know more about this? I don't know. It sounded right, but when you asked does that sound right it made me question it well that yeah that's my take on it that it that the hgh is supposed to make all your connecting tissue stronger so that you can work out without getting hurt but if i'm joe i wonder if aesthetically just t would have been better. Maybe. How tall is Joe Rogan? Very short, like 5'7".

His head is so big that it's making him look very short there. But you know his head is artificially inflated. Maybe. His head makes him look short? Yeah, because he's got like a kind of a dwarf proportion. Like a Peter Dinklage feel to him. Okay. I see it.

It looks like he'd mine well. He would be a great miner. You wonder how much... He seems to have a lot of gold. I'm faster on short distances. What is that coolest... What is that coolest thing on his desk? Glowing green?

Glowing green. Oh, it looks like... Next to the Nazi helmet lamp? Yeah, it looks like a fancy clock. That's what I thought it might be. Is that a Nazi helmet? I don't know what kind of helmet that is. It'd be hilarious if it was.

Just huge swastika on the side. He's like, no, I'm like a huge fan. And you're like, then explain all the flags behind you. That's his best angle. His arms look angle. Yeah. This is his arms look awesome. Yes. Looking yoked.

Yeah. And he's, he's just, it's, he's not flexing. I want to see him like literally pose, right? Cause I'm looking at his legs.

They look like strong legs. They're just not flexed right now. Yeah. Oh, no, I'm sure he has strong legs. Yeah, he works out fucking constantly, right? He'll post videos of him making really aggressive grimaces

as he's swinging battle ropes around. It's like this is so funny. I've never done battle ropes, but it seems like people get exhausted in like 12 to 15 seconds. I'm like, can you even get any benefit out of exhaustion in 12 to 15? If Joe lasts 15 seconds, then I got what, four in me? Is that even exercising? That's one of those workouts, the battle ropes, where you watch someone do it and you're like, I could swing ropes.

But I guarantee you get three swings and you're like, oh, no, I'm tired. This is tough. These are heavy ropes. But yeah, my family thought Joe Rogan had like they acted like he was a burn victim, like he was repulsive. That's crazy. It is. So guys and girls look at bodies differently, male bodies differently, right? I think guys really like value the muscles and the biceps and this and that.

I think girls look at, is it, who plays Deadpool? Yeah, right. Who plays Deadpool? Ryan Reynolds. I think they look at Ryan Reynolds as the near perfect, and then all the deviations from that are towards the negative. So even a guy like, I don't know, Thor's pretty perfect. But someone who's even bigger and stronger, they might say, eh, too much.

And isn't Ryan Reynolds pretty grim? Like the Batista guy who plays the purple silly alien. Sure. That's too much for most people, I think. See, but if you ask a guy, or if you ask me, and you're like, hey, do you want Batista's body or Ryan Reynolds? I'm like, dude, I want to be the guy who bursts into a room and people are

just afraid. I want to look like Mac and it's always sunny. I was barreling towards him. You're going to be giving people ocular pat-downs and frightening the fuck out of them. That's what I would want. I would prefer Ryan Reynolds reynolds i think but batista when i look at his body all i think is like how much chicken does he eat a day like how many pounds of a

fucking rotisserie chicken does this man have to eat how much toilet paper does he have to go to to maintain the shit life that he lives how tired is he of whey protein so tired so tired he hydrates on that shit oh i think part of it way too kind of looking into my own thought process maybe is like you know how we kyle and i very clearly different builds you know woody and i'm more similar but still different like there's no reality where i could look like Ryan Reynolds. Like I don't have that lean live build. If I were to eat 500 rotisserie chickens a day and just do nothing but lift weights, like I could look like Batista,

a fatter. I think you're just going to be a, you've just, it's your, your frame is different. You know, it's like your, your frame is just different.

You know, when I'm 150 fucking pounds i'm like long and lanky as hell like like when you when you're at 150 pounds you look like a tent that somebody didn't put up quite right dude i got down to like uh this was like five six years ago or something but the lowest i've been as an adult is 172 or something yeah and when i got home for like a holiday there because i wasn't lifting weights i was just dieting and like eating really well and like i was expecting people to be like my family and people like wow like you're looking really good but they were more like you gotta stop you look weird like You just look strange. Your frame does not fit 170 pounds. But, yeah.

Yeah. I got to go on a real... In the two weeks leading up to the holiday season... A little practice dittering, right? Yeah. I lost like three and a half, four pounds. I've gained it all back. Well done.

I've eaten so much meat. My grandma sent me home with and I weighed it on my food scale. I had to cut it into small pieces so I could weigh that much on my food scale. Seven and a half pounds of beef tenderloin cooked perfectly to medium rare. And I have been

just demolishing that. Pretty much. I feel like a king. I need some meat. Dipping in horseradish mayonnaise. I'm not beginning any kind of diet until the leftovers wear out. Run out, I should say. I've got that cranberry marshmallow thing. No one likes it but me.

That's a responsibility that I'll man up for. There's all kinds of turkey left over. I had turkey sandwich today. Yeah, the diet doesn't start until Thanksgiving. I'm sorry. Christmas dinner's gone. I didn't do anything for Christmas. I did no special meal, no gift exchanging, no nothing.

My gift came in. I talked about it before. I got an out-the-front knife, and this is what it looks like. Oh, yeah, your Microtech. It does that? Yeah, cool. cool yeah so it turns out so they're legal in north carolina it's okay to have one but it's tricky to buy one you can't ship it across state lines so a friend of a friend sold them and we managed to buy it in state and

uh it's really cool i like it i told the story where my friend who's also into knives and stuff helped picked it out helped pick it out and um it's i thought this switch on the side keep it on camera would be easy like like almost like a button but it's it's actually a lot of effort to sort of load it up that's for the best it goes to yeah you're probably right i didn't think about that is this more like a just kind of a novelty you like having it purchased no no i know but like like you was there a specific use where you were like, this out the front would be perfect? Were you more like, these are fucking tight

and I want one? You're both right. So, what I actually carry in my pocket is this thing. It's a Leatherman. I've had a few different ones and I just look at normal people with no Leatherman in their pocket. I'm like, how do you get through your life with just your fingers and fingernails doing everything? You don't have a screwdriver for all the loose doors in your house. You don't

have pliers for everything that needs tight gripping and a knife for all your Amazon boxes. Like you guys living with just your fingers. You're missing out. I've never been one to take a knife and what I would call abuse it, right? Like I've seen people who, like let's say a nut was stuck on a stud and it was filled with dirt and rust. They take their knife and clean it out so it works better. Or if a screw needed turning, they'd use their knife.

I've never used knives like that. I keep the sharpness intact. I use it where they're supposed to be used. Which is why the Leatherman is nice because it has other implements on it that you can abuse. So this is like jewelry for guys to me. It'll probably live in a drawer most of the time,

but I've wanted it for years and now I have one. Nice. That's it. Yeah, I feel the same way. I've always liked those knives. I don't know why I've, I think I would look at them

and see the price tag and be like, no. Right? Especially for something you don't use all the time. It's not as utilitarian as a $400 knife should be. Yes. Yeah, I have another knife. It's cheaper.

Let me get it real quick. Yeah, it's $400, $500. That company has kind of a marketing gimmick. So they make a couple sizes. I actually prefer the one tinier than that. It's very small. It looks like a pair of fingernail clippers and it's just like click and you got this little mini blade. But then as a joke, they made the mega tech. Oh, I saw that one. That one's got like kick. So as a gun guy, maybe you can appreciate this. I like different actions on

knives. And this one, it opens in a weird way like you take it and it goes out the side like that and i'll do it with two hands just as better but you sort of bend this sideways and then it flips up and uh it's very steampunk feeling i like it's cool so i think that's neat i've got uh this guy how much band-aid paid them to build it like like that Like this is a butterfly knife that I think is cool. I can hit Mike's what he took one of his fingers off right then best PK ever Did I bought a butterfly knife years and years ago and I got way too confident swinging it around once and I really gashed my finger I think everyone has.

You have to hold, like, I look at it. This side is the back of the blade, so it's not sharp. And when you bang it against your hand, you shouldn't get hurt. Yeah, but you can forget if you're intoxicated and suddenly you don't have quite as many fingers. Or if you just really am like, man, I can do this really fast now.

And you just can't. Or you're in public and there's a group of girls you want to impress. So what do you do? Pull out your buttons. Ladies! Ladies! Exactly. Are you afraid now? Ladies, have you seen my blade? Imagine how safe you'd be in public with me in dangerous areas.

I think these are cool, but they all just live in drawers and stuff. There are guys that think that way. I've got this Smith & Wesson basic bitch knife that I bought years ago. Opens Amazon packages. A-OK. I'm not allowed sharp things.

Is that true? I don't know what to believe. I'm not allowed knives. We have a... Are you serious? Yes. Oh, that is so good. I was like, what about kitchen knives?

And he's like, keep them in the kitchen. We have a box opening thing. It's on a magnet. We keep it on the fridge. And it's probably better than my knife. It's just not in my pocket. But it's short enough that you cut the tape and not what's inside the box. And it does just the right job.

And it's cool. Anybody get any super sick presents? I know, Kyle, you said you didn't exchange presents at all. What are you talking about? No, no, but that was to yourself. You know what I got? I got something for Jackie that I'm really enjoying.

So she listens, yeah, that's funny. She listens to like music or podcasts in the shower and she puts her phone on like the ledge on top of the shower and it's like,

it's a terrible system and phone speakers suck. So I got her this Bluetooth speaker and I didn't anticipate how much I would like it. It sounds sounds really good even over the noise of the shower then you can you know listen to podcasts or music or what i sing in the shower anyway so i really like having i added one of those a while back the waterproof bluetooth speaker free and it's just like get my fucking journey playlist going rock out while i get all soapy nice yeah that that was the best thing

maybe like every six months i'm not a shower singer i know kyle is the only thing every once in a while is you know when you hit that perfect resonance in your shower and it kind of vibrates and it echoes you've heard me say the noise you're making yeahola i've never done that that's a good one but uh every once in a while the only one i'll do is i'll hum like the halo original halo soundtrack you're pretty good at the halo soundtrack yeah and i'll even get to the point where at the end where it's like oh god that's still like that's the only really song in any kind of even call of duty never got me this way but with halo i was never even good at it but like when that intro came on i'd always watch the whole thing and be like god i'm like amped up to kill aliens now i'm i'm down one time hit uh

sorry taylor dressed as a priest like two hallowens ago, and he sang the Halo thing. And I'm like, wait, he can really do that. I was good at it. But the real reward is when that top really resonates, right? And it just sounds so loud in your bathroom. My master bathroom is way bigger than my old apartment one was. And so I can really get some nice tunage in there. And I've got some skylights in there.

And I think that helps contribute to it. That glass somehow. The neighbors love it. The neighbors hate it. No, they can't hear me. But what's your go-to song in the shower? Oh. The one that you are just like, yeah, I'm really vibing.

My voice is sounding good. I sing that song, Jolene, a lot. I like that song. Not the Miley Cyrus version. Not the Dolly Parton version. I like that song. Miley Cyrus is... I was going to ask you,

who does the best rendition of Jolene ever? To me, it's Miley. I don't know. It's hard to say. Who's the original singer of that? Dolly Parton. Dolly Parton? Okay. She got resonance just from those tits. Those things are gargantuan. Good for her. I'm proud of her.

She's got a great quote. I think it's something like it takes a lot of money to look this cheap. Ah! That's good. I like little self-aware burns like that. Yeah, she's an interesting person. She's got, I don't know. I know because I'm from here,

but I bet the rest of the country has no idea, but she has her own theme park in Tennessee called Dollywood, and we used to go up there occasionally. It's a lot of fun. I think I've been to it in Florida. Does that sound right? I didn't know there was one outside of Tennessee. That's the one I've always gone to because that's where she's from.

And she also performs up there. Speaking of like novelty restaurants, this is probably like 10 years ago at this point on like a family vacation, even more than that. But we went to Margaritaville, that Jimmy Buffett restaurant, and food was great. But every single song they play is a jimmy buffett song and that gets old very quickly very yeah that makes sense not a fan so kind of you didn't

give any gifts or receive any gifts uh no nope oh i sent dad a coat uh he always appreciates stuff like that every every year when it like, like he always buys those cheap socks that like, I guess everybody probably kind of cheaps out on them, but, but I, I always like get, get, send them a couple of, uh, not pairs, but packs of those really, really thick Carhartt socks that are super cushy on the bottom and like keep your feet warm, even in the coldest weather. And, uh, I usually send them like a really nice coat as well. That's like, I don't know, know like an outdoorsy thing that's neither carhartt or camouflage or whatever else child both of those presents aren't that good as an adult it's like this is a lifestyle upgrade really exactly i got a bunch of smart wool socks and i can't wait to

pop those bad boys on and have some comfortable feet yeah so i usually send him something like that uh nobody else gets anything though they don't deserve it yeah bastards nobody else so you just preempt every single time like don't buy me anything i'm being serious i'm not buying you anything our gift will be our time together or like that kind of shit uh our gift will be our time apart you won't have to come over here it'll be great yeah it does sound great i just don't do anything uh you know like like usually um i think kitty got me some gifts i haven't gone over there to pick them up yet i will i guess since she got me those gifts because she's like sent me a picture of my gifts under her tree i should probably i will get her something i just don't know what yet i'll i'll stop somewhere i

don't know i don't know what i'm gonna get her i'm gonna have to figure that out tonight actually yeah well it's the evening doesn't matter six russian christmas all right russian christmas okay uh yeah i'm mostly I hate that the days signify certain things anyway. Like I want to win your special day to put on a costume and roam the neighborhoods. All right.

Don't tell me when to I call that Saturday. The same thing with birthdays. I never worn anything for my birthday. It's like if you see something that you think I'd like, just get it for me. I do the same thing with birthdays like i never won anything for my birthday it's like just you know if you see something that you think i'd like just get it for me i do the same thing for you know everybody else it's not that i never give gifts it's just that i don't like what i'm pretty sure is like corporate america shoving a holiday down my throat me like hey it's time to boost the economy again boys it's that time of year and so i'd

rather just be like hey i saw a thing i think you thought you'd like and i picked it up so i do i give gifts i give them pretty regularly but something about them telling me that it's time to give someone a gift i don't we're a single income family my whole life is buying other people's shit yeah i remember like when i bought my dad dinner for the first time i like like i you know my we all went out for uh for all went out for dinner and I got the check. And dad was like, I think this is the first time in 40 years that someone else has picked up the check. I don't remember the last time this happened. I swear to God.

Has this ever happened? Yeah. I got some nice clothes that I liked. I like getting clothes now that it just saves me a trip to the store, which I hate. Part of the gift.

I haven't bought any clothes at all since I bought all of those Callaway short-sleeve polo shirts when some idiot on a third party listing on Amazon accidentally priced them $20 too low. And I bought so many. So, yeah, it's nice to get those little things. I got some house shoes. Did your loved ones care enough to get you Hollister? No, I didn't get Hollister.

I got as like and it feeds right into Kyle's thing where he's like, do you do all your shopping at the blues store? Because every single family member who doesn't know what to get me is like, here's a blue shirt, idiot. Here's a blues flag. Here's a blues hoodie. Here's a blues pair of pajama pants. And so I got like 10 more items of blues shit.

I got this. Well, I bought this for myself. This Atlanta hoodie because it was cold in the Atlanta airport. $45 for this shitty ass hoodie. But now I can tell people, hey, Mr. Culture, guess who's been to the Atlanta airport? That's great. Oh, you haven't gone?

You haven't been? Oh, you haven't gone? You haven't been? Oh, you must go. Oh, you haven't been to Bobby's Burger Pals? Are you unfamiliar with the tram? Yeah. I'm more of a terminal B kind of diner. Yeah, the Atlanta airport is... Do you fly Delta? Yeah, yeah yeah usually well if you go delta

you pretty much always go through atlanta it seems like because that's that's their number one hub right that's their central hub largest uh busiest airport in the world and uh and they and delta has their own terminal like they're half not terminal but what do they call it it might be called a half of the airport like they call it a terminal but but don't think like a branch of the the airport which is what most airports do the atlanta airport is split in half and it's like all right delta to the left everybody else over to the fucking right yeah you two united come on alaskan thing with the samoan guy on the i like that one i used to look at i used to look at that one and think it was a rastafarian on on the thing and then i looked hard it's one of those images where it's like

it could be a negative and i was like looking at the negative image instead of the positive and i and i was like oh it's a native american it's a eskimo it's an eskimo yeah what right i know native canadian right oh first nations person Thank you very much. A North North American savage. North North American. I got my DNA test. I sent it off today. Did you win? I don't know.

Did you win? Did you pass? I'm so excited. You just spit in a fucking thing and bottle it up and send it off to these people. And then I'll get like a thing on my phone. And then they use their random number generator. Maybe I'll take, if the first one comes back funky i'll take a second one but i'm really what elizabeth warren should have done that's totally she should be sponsored by by one of those companies that like if she had said oh she'd be the best commercial ever right

sometimes you just don't know chief i just need a little bit of spit. Oh, it's gonna ghost you. She came back, I'm a 100% Native American. She should have taken, maybe she did, but if she had taken six of those and grabbed the most Indian one, that would have been a good move.

Or aggregate all the Indian. It's like, well, I took it five times and I got half a percent every time. She did take one finally. Yeah. I wonder what you're going to get. I bet you're going to get just as a little bit of poetic justice

more Irish than you want. That's what I was thinking. Not one drop. It's a one drop drool. So what do you think you are? And I don't even know what like i don't think german's like a race that you come back germanic oh it'll come back as german yeah yeah okay okay uh i i don't know i i'm i'm fairly pale uh i don't know i've got got a strong nose

here kind of a angry brow um maybe white i I'm going to say. But what flavor of white? Vanilla. You're going to be mostly northern European, I guess. Yeah, that's my thoughts as well. But I'm hoping that there's some Native American mixed in there so I can get away with more jokes. Finally go to college. Really? You're just going to give me the degree? Well, degree well shit all right i need mine to be a little bit black and a little bit gay somehow so that i can make those jokes you're a homosexual yeah because the maggot and brother thing have been my sticking points lately

if i could just come back as a gay black guy i'd be right it doesn't actually test for gay but there was a good deal of semen in your If I could just come back as a gay black guy, I'd be rocked. It doesn't actually test for gay, but there was a good deal of semen in your system. We're going to take a leap here. Your saliva sample? That's what we were talking about the other day. Like, what if I send him a stool sample instead? And he waited for the results. That's what we were talking about the other day Like what if I send them a stool sample instead And you wait It's just coded in diarrhea Send them liquid shit instead

And just wait for whatever they put on the app It's all Irish Dot dot dot In the 18 years of our company's history Never, not once ever Your spit was 80 proof In the 18 years of our company's history, never. Not once ever. Your spit was 80 proof. I don't know.

I think I would be more Southern European. I'm still getting over the semen in my saliva sample. That's a winner. That's a good line. We got to cut that one in. You should take one because I bet you've got some Neanderthal in you. I absolutely do. There's no chance I don't. When they cast for that TV

show Cavemen, you missed out. Yeah. Have you seen that picture of the Russian diplomat who was also a professional wrestler and he is the most Neanderthal looking guy i gotta i gotta find a picture of this guy it's so funny he's just yoked come on is it arthur tell me yeah that's him no that's well this guy looks pretty ridiculous too

uh fuck where is he? There he is. I mean, if you look at Fedor Emelianenko... I think that's right. That sounded right to me. Emelianenko. I think there's an extra syllable, a ning in there. Nikolai Valuev.

Oh my god, that's not real. Yeah, no, it is. Oh god. He's 7'1", and weighs 323 pounds. I've seen him before. Yeah, he's a boxer. I follow fighting sports. Look at that brow.

Yeah. Dude, you couldn't even give him a black eye. This guy needs to go into acting right away. There's so many roles for him. He's old. Perfect. We don't need him to be physical. There's so many roles for him. He's old. Perfect. He's not a spring chicken anymore. We don't need him to be physical.

We just need him to stand there. I heard for the new Lord of the Rings TV show, they're literally casting ugly people. They're looking for some real ugly motherfuckers for this new show to be orcs and stuff. And Reddit was like, so, you're saying there's a chance. Everybody's lining up. This could be my chance to get into the lord of the rings show we were talking very ugly conversation my family had

today and you think of any current women who aren't pretty in like actress world uh that um yeah yeah absolutely oh melissa mccarthy melissa mccarthy's rough looking um so is that black lady from saturday night live who was in uh ghostbusters she's hard to look at oh uh leslie jobs yeah she's like six feet 175 pounds or something she's a big girl and she is hideous but i guess we're just kind of picking the fat women of hollywood right now right i mean it's not the fat it's the ugly oh i had it in my head that she was oh no pretty heavy i don't remember though i mean she's she's she's just stout i think it's the best not attractive yeah she could beat the shit out of me i know that for damn sure i'd love'd love her to. Melissa McCarthy is a good one.

And she's current. Like a lot of the ones that I was coming up with were old. Like Penny Marshall. She played Shirley in Laverne and Shirley. No. She's not pretty. Some of the ones that were floated were just people who aren't pretty anymore. That's bullshit.

Sarah Jessica Parker is rough looking. See, I don't think that... I'm looking for someone... I think Sarah Jessica Parker could be the prettiest girl in her IT department. Right? If she exists in regular life. I disagree with that one.

Okay. Whoopi Goldberg. I came up with that one too. It's just a dated one. Okay, fair enough. Yeah. Steve Buscemi, he's a man, but It's just a dated one. Okay. Fair enough. Yeah. Steve Buscemi. He's a man,

but he's an absolute ghoul, right? Like one that violates the rules. I don't think Vince Vaughn looks very good, but on his way up, he did. Vince Vaughn was a handsome, thin fit motherfucker,

you know? And, and after he arrived, he kind of lost it. Susan Boyle, that woman who was like famous for that one song. That was the funniest clip when it went viral because it was before the big PC wave

in the last five years or so where even the judges, like Stephen Cowell, were sitting there like, all right, sing for us, you fucking sow. And then she sings, and the response by the Internet, everyone was like, wow, did you know that ugly people aren't terrible? Do you know they can do things like regular people? And that was the wholesome message. Look at this fat cow sing a song in a way that is great.

I expected ugly people to have no value at all. This is the general response. Up until this point, I thought you should all be killed, but you've won me over with your song. Mr. T-shirt, you're not even famous anymore. That girl from the Handmaidens tale, she's pretty rough

looking. Her name's Elizabeth Moss. She was also in Mad Men. And she was the worst, most annoying character on Mad Men. That's all I've ever seen her in, and it's left a bad taste in my mouth. She was just boring. Stanford Bernhardt, always been a real

hideous ghoul of a lady. I'm looking at the Mad Men chick right now. So, especially some of her less flattering photos aren't that flattering but ugly i she's i mean but she's hollywood ugly that's fair yeah it's fair like but she's also being cast and compared right next to hollywood people like if you see somebody like john ham a guy like john ham in public he's the kind of guy you're like

well god damn you exist you were one of the many options i jesus i didn't know george was a real ugly motherfucker not as a kid though willem dafoe also hideous person good example steve buscemi was a good example uh rachel dratch dann DeVito is my favorite. There was no period in Danny DeVito's life where he was good looking. He definitely made it. Take a step back. He is a goblin. He looked okay. Okay.

In the 80s. Early 80s Danny DeVito with full hair. He had his angles. As long as you didn't see that he was five feet nothing. He was a handsome man. as you didn't see that he was five feet nothing like he was he was a handsome man there was a time early a peak danny devito is still not the third looking best guy in his it department at a small company that's true but he's got charm too he does yeah yeah in the

comedy world is where i think he's like he he still might be the best at getting ladies in his IT department because fucking Ishtar over there is just going to be befuddled when he sees this five foot tall troll of a man just pulling down the ladies because he's funny. He is Danny DeVito, so he's very rich and famous and working in IT inexplicably. If you're looking for ugly people in Hollywoodllywood comedy is a good place to start yeah yeah yeah take a look at our podcast words hurt taylor i'm the one waiting our average a short guy who i think is more to the argument kyle was just making about devito would be joe pesci because joe pesci is very short and small, but he's not, I don't think by any stretch, an ugly man.

Like he's not that attractive, but he's fine looking. I would argue that Joe Pesci breaks the mold on some of this stuff in that, at least in my awareness, he got famous ugly, right? So even if Joe Pesci looked good in the 70s or something, I don't know, 80s, that's not when I saw him get famous. I saw him get famous in a couple mob movies, My Cousin Vinny, stuff like that. He played slumlords. Was he in Home Alone? That might be one of his earliest hits. He was not a good-looking Home Alone character.

If he was ever good-looking, that was prior to fame. How do we feel about Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jake Gyllenhaal's sister? I'd have to see more pictures, but in this IMDb choice picture, she doesn't look bad at all. I don't think. She's an interesting looking lady,

and I like that. And if you've ever seen The Secretary, she's very sexy. Yeah. Actually, someone brought her up as an example of a not pretty person. And to me, like, I'll buy the argument that she's not Hollywood pretty, but no way do I see her walking past me at a mall and think, oh, that poor lady didn't get any luck. Yeah. Well, an American mall in 2019, I walk around there and feel like a king.

I'm like, oh, man. Yeah. That's a great way to build confidence. It's walking around a mall. That's what Walmart's for. Yeah, Walmart too. You really are a fancy fella. You walk through a Walmart with shoes.

With shoes. With shoes. with shoes with shoes with shoes and i'm like i'll be walking like back to the fucking checkout stand with name brand root beer and be like i'm feeling pretty good about myself i'm the one guy not using a shopping cart as a skateboard here's why does it stick up his ass i'm walking around with barks and i see like you know dr steve's roop beer and it's like yeah there's some rough folk over at walmart i haven't been in a while i try to avoid it i absolutely need something like like i need a shower curtain rod a while back and it was like

this is a Walmart item. At this house and the one before, local to me was Target. So we're Target people. But when I travel, when I travel, I go to Walmarts and that's when I'm reminded. Every town seems like a bad one.

If you go to a town's Walmart, you'll be like, this town's kind of a dump. Yeah. Have you been to the Hartwell Walmart yet? Yes, I have. I bought a USB charger thing. There you go. I got arrested there once.

Nice. Yes. Drove me right out of that electronic session. Getting low to that fucking laser. Those people judging you. They didn't at all. I thought, I was like, this actually isn't that embarrassing.

I'd be more embarrassed to be that guy right there right now than in handcuffs, god damn. We've all been there, friend. Exactly. Let him go. Turn him loose. Let he who hasn't stolen an overpriced Ethernet cable

cast the first stone. I had a pistol they took issue with. Apparently they thought it was going to be that all the employees were hiding in the back. They thought it was going to rob the place. They were just 20 years too early. It's just a gun! It's just a tool

in the hands of a responsible doctor. there's not even a bullet in the oh yeah there is huh the safety oh it's off well it's on now yeah this has been a real eye-opening moment i guess i was kind of dangerous there for a while there's an there's an opposite thing of that too like the the antithesis of the walmart effect where i'm sure i don't know if you guys have like designer malls or anything like in your area i'm sure you do where it's like for rich people and shit where it's like sax fifth avenue and those kind of things and i've gone to those malls before because they have kind of really good fucking restaurants in those ones and there's like one mall called the front neck mall in the st louis area like closer to the like downtown not that close downtown like but it's it is absurd

absurd like i walked into sax fifth avenue because that was one of the entrances and to walk towards this like bistro like this this cafe to eat and there was a pair of tennis shoes that just had rhinestones and bedazzling all over it and it was five thousand dollars and it was insane and but just looking around that mall as i'm walking around i'm like oh man i am bottom rung in oh it had the opposite effect yeah where i was like they walk around see you and feel better about themselves. Yeah, they're like, Walmart's a couple miles back, idiot. If that guy doesn't actually play for the Blues then he doesn't.

Sir, we don't have hats in your size. I didn't ask. It's like that moment in Pretty Woman where they throw her out. I'm just trying to get to the cafe. Well, you'll need to find another way in, sir. You're scaring the customers. They don't serve beanie weenies at the bistro, sir.

Just make your way out. You know a place where I feel like I feel like everybody's mostly got it together in a store is it costco because i feel like people are taking charge they're buying in bulk they're being responsible lots of family men and women there they got a membership they don't let just anyone into costco yeah i feel like there's well you do have unlimited samples which is pretty cool they used to do it all the time but now i think they just do it on weekends where they give out a bunch of samples. Yeah, we know why that happens.

Somebody went in there and abused that system so regularly that they were like, whoa, Jesus. Are you bringing your family here every day, sir? Yeah, it's lunch. Yeah. No, dude, I love Costco's socialist model. Offices are holding meetings by the free samples. It's a lunch meeting. We just go to Costco and eat all the cheese.

I'm sure someone's done that. I used to love it though. Publix used to do that. I don't know if you have Publix grocery stores. They used to have tons of samples. They were cheeses and they'd make those little tortellinis and stuff. As a kid, grocery shopping was fun.

They got dope subs like Subway sandwiches at Publix because they make their own bread. They got dope subs like Subway sandwiches at Publix because they make their own bread. They're so, so good. That's where Whole Foods is good. It's like half a restaurant home. You can go in there and get fresh food and subs and they cook this hot food in there.

Yeah. The Whole Foods I used to go to had like Japanese feeling. Well, first they were Japanese people and they were making like sushi, like restaurant quality sushi back there. And it was like, God damn,

like this place really is for the elite among us. Ours is new. Like, I don't know, six weeks old or something. It's well done. Yeah. What sucks though is I don't like how you can't buy like staples there that I like. Like if I want like diet

Barks root beer or something or Coke, you can't get that there. You have to buy like Zevia or whatever their bullshit fucking special service. Do they have Cheez-Its there? No, no. You have to buy it's called like Ant-Anne's Cheddar Bunnies or something.

Yeah, those are good. They are good, but they're three times the price. Jesus. They are. They're not three times as good. No, they're not. So many things work like that. You double, quadruple the price and they get 10% better.

Kyle, you're on the edge. I was just thinking that like, if I buy American food, I don't care who prepares it. I go to Burger King or McDonald's, which I consider kind of a if I buy American food, I don't care who prepares it. I go to Burger King or McDonald's, which I consider kind of a, that's American food. I guess burgers and fries. I don't care if there's a Mexican guy back there, an Asian guy back there. But if I go to a hibachi restaurant and there's a white dude wearing that silly hat going ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, I'm walking the fuck back out.

I came here for an experience, an authentic experience. If I go to a sushi restaurant and the sushi chef is not Asian, doesn't cut it. You need to go full racist with this rant, Kyle. You need to be like, you know what? It's American food. I don't care if it's Charlie, a WAP, a kike. It could be anything. No, this is the opposite.

Kyle is not wanting to see a white, black, or Hispanic man appropriate the culture of Japan. That's exactly it. This is actually very woke. I just want an authentic experience if I'm doing those things. And if I went to an authentic Italian restaurant, like I'm not talking about Pizza Hut, and there weren't Italians back there, I got a problem with that. But I went to the grocery store the other day and they have what you described. They have a sushi chef over there making fucking sushi. He was brown.

And he was, you need real Japanese people. The same way if you go to a Mexican restaurant, I don't want to see a white guy back there. I won't have it. There's a New York bagel place not far from one of my doctors. It is a slice of home.

Like everyone there is a New Yorker. They're in a hurry. I don't know. I hear them talk and move. The way they make change is like, right, I grew up like this. Mind your P's and q's you can get in trouble for ordering too slow too slowly like that's great yeah i just watched that the other day i went to a jewish deli with a couple jewish friends of mine like within the last couple months

and they were like all excited to have me try jewish foods where you put like smoked salmon and cream cheese on the bagel and you eat that first of all that is not a combo i would have ever put together myself and it's really fucking good yeah and i ate like latkes like their potato uh which to me like very similar to hash brown but it's a heartier thicker hash brown and so i liked that a lot and the best part about this jewish deli is it wasn't like a kosher Jewish deli. And so they were more than happy to throw bacon on things. They would have Sam, because I didn't know this until recently. You can't mix cheese and meat or you can't mix dairy and meat for kosher food.

And so if you wanted a cheeseburger, no dice. You can't do that. They would not add cheese if you go to like a kosher deli, but this place was like fuck it We're in America in 2019. Obviously people want dairy on their meat products. And so it was a nice little mix of not too intense and Still very tasty. So yeah, I didn't know I like Jewish food, but Jewish food That's why I get the ice cream burger. If you don't mix dairy with him with your meat Ice cream That's why I get the ice cream burger. If you don't mix dairy with your meat, it's fucked. Ice cream burger? Can I have a hamburger a la mode, please?

Yeah. I'm just imagining it. An ice cream burger. What would the temperature be? It works on apple pie. Just shitty and lukewarm. Cheese and apple pie, but both are hot. The cheese melts and that makes cheese better.

Melted cheese is always better. Ice cream on apple pie, right? Is that like Alamode? I like that. Not for you, huh? That's a fair point. It just means ice cream on top. I like that, yeah. You didn't know what Alamode meant?

You know some of the most ridiculous vocabulary stuff ever. You're spelling Yamaka last week. You don't know what Alamode means? No, you're right. I didn't know it just meant ice cream on top. Taylor's weaknesses involve ice cream and chicken procreation. Yes. My retardation is just like

deep pockets all over the place and you just have to step into one of those sinkholes and it really reveals itself. How do birds procreate? I don't know and nor does anyone else. One of life's great mysteries. They spring out of holes in the ground. When is that fucking Lord of the rings show starting

is there i don't know man any time you got to watch the witcher dude i i was gonna segue into that too i watched the first four i really okay first of all kyle's criticism of the witcher applies to me times 10 what i've done is i pulled up the witcher and this is and this is a pro tip for anyone who doesn't have Kyle's like freaking savant level of media recall. I put up the Wikipedia page and after I watch an episode, I read the paragraph on what happened and sometimes I got it all and sometimes it was helpful because the way that he mentioned the time changes is super confusing. And the actors play the same people in both roles. Aging doesn't happen normally amongst these witches and witchers and stuff.

So there aren't the kind of context clues as to whether you're in the past or the future unless you're really on top of your game. And so sometimes I go to the Wikipedia page, page reread reread it and i'm like all right right i get it now i get it now i'm ready for the next episode but i am still loving it i'm only four episodes in and there's eight so i'm halfway a little math for you guys and uh um it's like held it early game of thr Thrones production quality. Do you remember early Game of Thrones production quality? It was one really, really good, but... Could be better.

Maybe you wish there was more Dragon CGI budget, right? You know if they zoomed out just a little, the illusion would be shattered. Is that a Buick? So I'm not going to give anything away, but there's a character who had a curse, and then he got uncursed, and he turned from a being that looked like a hybrid of a person and something else to a regular person.

I wasn't going to spoil it, but yeah, he was a hedgehog person, and he becomes a regular person. Cool. Well, that happened off camera. So it's like, ah, it would have been nice if they had the kind of CGI budget to really reverse werewolf. But still, it looks fantastic. And I'm not, I feel like I don't often compliment CGI, but it looks so good. It's attention grabbing to me how well done this show is. The fight scenes that Kyle mentioned, agreed.

Amazing choreography on this stuff. I'm in love with it. I'm really enjoying The Witcher. I'm enjoying the story. But I also am glad. I'm really enjoying the witcher. I'm enjoying the story, but I also am glad that I use cliff notes after each episode. So I read this thing about the witcher and I hope it's not true, but it almost seems like it is. So I think all the writers are women. And, uh, and, and so this 4chan little post had pictures of their, their Twitters, uh, all the, all the ladies. And it's like, smash the patriarchy

and all sorts of stuff like that. And then they pointed out that the Nilfgaardians, okay, these are the bad guys, right? The big army that's invading and stuff. Take a good look at their armor and you'll never be able to unsee what I'm about to tell you. They are penises with testicles.

Their helmets are a penis head and their armor are shriveled testicle texture. What are they called again? I'm going to Google it. The Nilfgaardians. N-I-L-F-G-U-A-R-D-I-A-N. That's some fucking ugly armor. Yeah, Nilfgaardians is one word.

Two thumbs down to that armor. That sucks. They're penis men. Yeah, Ifgaardians is one word. Two thumbs down to that armor. That sucks. They're penis men. Yeah, I do see the shape you're describing. Hold on, people watching, I'm getting you a picture. They're penis men. So people are worried about the writers messing up the show?

Not an unreasonable I think that they were mostly just pointing out that they're they're almost sort of making a statement with the the bad guys being penises and a lot of the good guys are gals um it seems like there's one major you know obviously gerald avivia is or is it gerald and gerald i think i don't know is the main guy and he's kind of our he is the witcher but there's a lot of ladies. I love the show.

I like it. I like it a lot. Would you say too many ladies? I'm not as far in as you. I'm one episode in. Here's my thing. You can never have too many as long as they keep getting naked at this rate. Oh, yeah.

There's a lot of nudity. When I saw the, what I'll call the disabled lady, look banging naked i'm like yeah kyle was on point with this yeah she's and she fucks right she's on top she's she's cowgirl and she's fucking and she's naked and i'm just like i mean disability or not two thumbs up them titties they retarded and she like magicked an audience to watch them fuck and applaud when they came it was so bizarre i was at first i was like are those why is everyone watching them fuck right now i thought this was like done in secret and then she then they disappeared i'm like oh that was that was just some weird kink she had okay all right jesus wouldn't that be think of how much better fucking

would be if you had an audience just cheering you on. They got your face on their shirt. They got a big number one finger. Yeah! Cheering you on. They're all wearing jerseys of you. 69 on the back. They wear big foam helmets.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! That's literally that episode of Rick and Morty, right? They wear big foam helmets to exist. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. That's literally that episode of Rick and Morty, right? You know, where he's like, he fills the stadium with everyone who looks at all like her and everyone on the planet who looks like his dad. So his dad's watching him like have this crazy orgy and they're all cheering in the stadium while he fucks. You know what I liked about, well, just the one episode of the witcher that i watched was like i don't even know much about the character or the universe or anything but uh henry cavill cavill whatever his name is cavill that guy is so cool yes like he he looks dope he looks awesome in his little outfit and shit so i was i'm all on he's on they said he was so muscular he keeps wearing out the costumes really dude that rules that guy's awesome i i like

so he played superman and superman when you get the role seems like it's awesome but then you realize everyone who's ever played superman it ended their career right tell me the people who went on to have great post superman careers even if they're not paralyzed yeah yeah um so they asked him like hey are you worried about the Superman curse where it's going to ruin your career and this is like as he first got the role and he's like yeah a little little you know it's a thing that's known but I saw him in the Witcher and suddenly I am on board with this guy like not too far from Chris Pratt you like I just I want him to do well I like him in the Witcher I man did they cast him pro properly like he is a Witcher he is as Witcher as Robert Downey Jr. is Iron Man like he's just who should be Witcher

so that's part of why I like it I'm hoping to get more of a budget next year because I feel like if I point out some of the CGI shortfalls, it'll mess it up for others. But that big tarantula monster that he fights in the first 30 seconds of the show looked quite terrible to me. And then the deer that's also in that scene is also CGI, and that looks pretty awful too.

So I didn't catch what you saw but so i will i almost want to re-watch it and see if i agree but i'll say this we're not talking walking dead deer with that like no no no no no no it's it passed my test you know yeah i just want it to be a little better. The Witcher starts fast. It hits the ground running. And I wasn't prepared for that. Like in the opening 30 seconds, he's already battling a notable monster. Mid-battle is where the show starts.

Like the show begins and he's mid-battle with a giant swamp tarantula man. Yeah, buckle up. It's a nice way to kick off the whole series. I might follow it. I was going to kick off the whole series i i might follow it i was going to say there i can imagine how i might follow it better if i had played the games like maybe a little background on the characters or lore or something would have been helpful the game is beautiful although here's the thing and i don't know if this is your type of game

it is an intensive rpg in my brief experience with it it was enough to turn me off. And I just wasn't feeling that kind of game right then. I loved Fallout. I've played Skyrim and Oblivion. I ran through all those games, all the Fallouts. And there's a lot of talking in those games. And I'm okay with it. But at this point in my gaming career, I'm going back three years or so, I wasn't wanting to do that right then. I was in more of a, I wanted to play PUBG or CSGO or something. I wanted something fast paced and cooperative. And so I picked up the Witcher as soon as I got that 4K monitor that I had then.

And I just didn't love it. There was just a lot of talking and I wanted something more fast paced, but the game is gorgeous. It's one of the best looking open world games I've ever seen. The combat's difficult from what I remember. Maybe I was playing it on a harder difficulty,

but he's got a silver sword and an iron sword, or a steel sword, I guess, and one's for monsters and one's for people, and he's got his magic and his potions, and there's alchemy going on, and I don't know. I was getting bogged down by side quests, and I lost interest,

but it's a cool fucking game. I probably should go back to it now that I've enjoyed the show. I finished the show. I watched all eight episodes, I believe. I finished it up the other night. There better be a season two or we're not going to know much. Oh, it's not a miniseries, right? No, no. It has to be. I feel like it's been really well received. Yeah, everyone's talking about how the IMBD, or no, the Rotten Tomatoes or something like that was terrible from the critics. And then they found out that the critics literally watched the first episode, then skipped to the fifth episode, watched that, and then gave a review.

How can you do that? What? Yeah. They're professional reviewers what else are they doing all day they have to skip the three they've been they've been getting a lot of shit because of that there's been a lot of articles written like shitting on them for for doing that because every the rotten tomatoes fan score is like 89 93 somewhere in there yeah uh you know everybody's really digging it and i feel like it's come at a really good time. If this had came out two years ago, like mid Game of Thrones, eh, I don't know about this show.

Well, there's not even any dragons. That dragon looks like shit. But this is... We're thirsting for this show right now. Yeah, people have a big hole of fantasy in their heart left by the... Have you gotten to the episode where there may or may not be a dragon yet?

No, I, they just got married. Okay. Yeah. I don't know what's coming. You like how I did that? Have you,

have you gotten to the movie where the ring may or may not be thrown into Mount Doom? No, they just got married. You haven't seen the one where Bruce Willis may or may not be dead the whole time, have you? Check it out. Good movie. Good ending. That is a great movie. That was the first

movie I can remember watching where a twist absolutely got me. I was maybe like 12 years old or something when I first watched that. And first of all, that scene where, who is it, like Jonathan Taylor Thomas or whatever the fuck young kid is in it.

I don't remember his name. Haley Joel Osment, I think. Haley Joel Osment, one of those three named kids. And he went into his little sheet fort and then he's got his light and he's, and he turns around and that girl's like that scared the absolute shit out of me

that was the first time in a movie I remember because I hadn't watched many horror movies so I was only 12 that scared me to death but at the end of that movie like I'd never had a movie blow my mind like that like the second time you watch it of course you like to pretend that you're smarter than you are, where you're like,

oh, if I'd been actually paying attention to the clues, I would have put all this together. When they're sitting having dinner and he's trying to get her attention and she's not responding or anything, all those little tidbits. But yeah, that movie holds up for sure. Whenever I'm dating someone,

I like to take them on these movie adventures. And that's one of them i asked him have you seen the sixth sense and if they say no i'm like oh you're gonna like it and i don't you know that's all i'll say and then we watch it and i'd love to like look at them as their mind gets blown out of their fucking skulls right at the end the same way that like um the game of thrones episode where um the uh the red viper of thorn episode where um the uh the red viper of thorn fights the mountain and uh you know has that crazy ending where the mountain crushes his skull i i watched that with my girlfriend at the time and i had already seen it and uh and she came over and i'm like yeah let's watch the new game of thrones i already saw it

but i'm not gonna say a thing and you know just looking over there at her when she's just like, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, no. And it like, like it's that thing. Woody always says, it's like, all right,

we can come back from this. We can come back from a punch. He lost some teeth, but I mean, I'm sure he's rich as fuck. They'll put some gold ones in there. He'd be, Oh no.

Oh, they don't have, they don't have glass eyes. I've seen the eye patches in this show. That's the, Oh, and the skull's gone. All there. He'll be, oh, no. They don't have glass eyes. I've seen the eye patches in this show. Oh, and the skull's gone. All right. He is. Oh, okay.

He's dead. Jesus. I remember doing that because I think the Red Wedding came out. That was like season three or something when I was in college. And I used to have with probably like a dozen or so friends. You were in college during this it's so long ago it's weird but um yeah like i had like you know a dozen or so odd friends and their girlfriends or whoever that would come over to my apartment and we would watch every new

episode and me and my one of my good buddies uh uh, Matt had read all of the books already. And so we knew what was coming with the red wedding episode. You know, as soon as we saw the title red wedding, we're like, fuck yeah. Make sure nobody misses this week at Taylor's everybody go or it's going to be great. And nobody, but the two of us had read the books. None of us knew it was, none of them knew it was coming. It's probably eight of them in the two of us. had read the books none of us knew it was none of them knew it was coming it's probably eight of them and the two of us and someone some sneaky bitch like started noticing patterns like as

soon as the uh the reigns of castamere started playing and catlin gave that like like that march simpson like not sure about what's going on like worried face he goes dude why does she look like that what is she so worried about something's about to happen and i like jumped in and i was like name one time catelyn hasn't looked like that dude he was like yeah yeah yeah i guess you're right and then then 40 seconds later they're getting stabbed to death one of the girls started crying it was real good that That is good. That's outstanding. Dude, Game of Thrones was so good. It was, dude.

Especially that season. And then they ruined it, and it'll never be the same again. I will never re-watch that show. All of my favorite shows, I re-watch every two or three years. As soon as they're not quite fresh in my head anymore, and I can't remember exactly A to B to C C the plot points.

Oh, it's time to watch the wire again. It's been two and a half years. Oh, I can't wait to watch the wire again. I'm never going to do that. I'm never going to do that. Cause the whole time I'm going to be watching it going,

well, this didn't even fucking matter. Yeah. Look, Oh look, Sam found some shit at the fist of the first man. Oh look, it's a horn.

Does that mean anything? Nope. Not even a little. Oh, look, it's the magic woman with the fucking chandelier on her face. I bet she's going to play a fucking key role later on. Oh, no. No, we'll never see her, hear from her again. Oh, okay. Who's the Aurora Kai? Is that it?

Azor Azai. Azor Azai. Thank you. Yeah. Look, I just get close enough to get the assist to slam that puck home yeah yeah people look like i'm an idiot but really these are alley oops sounds more more assist than gretzky in the name game uh yeah and i i don't know that we guessed about that forever and ever and ever it never even played a hell the whole r plus l equals j does that sound right um did that even play a role did it matter the only thing that it mattered was that it seemed like the dragons let john ride them because of

that and he it kind of soured his sexual relationship with danny took it that was the biggest impact in my opinion just me thinking right now that that even had on the fucking show like like like it was interesting to know like oh yeah okay ned stark protected him that whole time and kept that secret and dishonored himself ned's been dead for five years dude like like like if i'd learned this three years ago and then it meant something then it would have meant something it's a game of thrones was beloved because they didn't always give you what you wanted right they did that so well and then they completely moved away from that formula it used to be that actions had consequences and doing the good thing like often happens in life doesn't always work out for you

you know self-sacrificing and to do the right thing and behaving with honor that can come at a cost sometimes and in game of thrones it always did and then they just moved away from that formula where everyone's fine everyone's had yeah it's ruined it It's ruined. It's ruined the same way House of Cards is. I know that especially Taylor has a pretty low opinion of the middle seasons of House of Cards, but oh my God, did you guys see Kevin Spacey's movie? I purposefully haven't watched it because I wanted to save it for us.

Roll it out. What is it? Remember like a year ago around Christmas when Kevin Spacey did that video in character as Frank Underwood? Well, you want him back. He did it again. Well, we'll have to check this out.

He did it again inexplicably. For no reason, seemingly. He just did it again. You know what else happened? The second or third Kevin Spacey accuser in the last six months has killed themselves. Do you hear that? Holy shit. He Clintoned him. AC accuser in the last six months has killed themselves. Hmm.

Do you hear that? Holy shit. He gave, he Clinton them. I was just going to say Kevin Clinton. Are you guys ready to, is there music in it? And you guys,

I haven't watched it yet. Hang on. I bet there is. There are some very, very low piano music. We can try it. I guess it's so low all right oh well it's like it's the kind of music that i would be surprised if it's copyright it's like jingling a jing jing jing jing jing yeah it's like chopin isn't hard scoping the Probably somebody is Let's play it

Kevin Spacey uploaded it To his YouTube channel here I've got it loaded You guys ready? Ready, set, play You didn't really think I was going to miss The opportunity to wish you a Merry Christmas Did you? I did.

Yeah. I'm in. Mm-hmm. Oh. more good in this world. Oh. I know what you're thinking. Can he be serious?

I'm dead serious. It's not that hard, trust me. The next time someone does something you don't like, you can go on the attack, but you can also hold your fire and do the unexpected. You can kill them with kindness.

What the fuck? Huh. And that's the end. Is he threatening accusers right now? Multiple have died in the last six months. Was that a threat to any accusers who might come forward? I didn't view it through that lens.

I did. Dude, you know what? Kyle, I was wrong. I'm back on Team Spacey. Team Spacey forever. Number one comment. I still can't get over that he's really just fully accepted this role as a full-life movie villain. A full-life or a real-life movie villain? A real-life movie villain. Yeah life or a real life movie villain a real life movie villain yeah

i didn't read well yeah that's great like dude the amount of confidence it takes to get called out on molesting underage people and then just be like i'm actually going to stand my ground and just pretend to be a character for a show that was canceled three years ago. You know, what the fuck are you thinking, dude? Three of the accusers have died this year, I think. Let's see. Yeah, from suicides. Both committed suicide and a third accuser, a woman, died in a car accident.

All these people died in 2019. If you don't see a pattern here, you're brain dead. That is pretty crazy. Somebody go seriously. I'm not kidding. Where are the pieces fitting? Fourth comment. Quit killing people, Kevin.

Quit fucking killing people. That's great. That's so good. Here's another one. Right under that. Kevin, stop killing and sexually assaulting people. You and your restrictions. This is America. We have freedom here.

One of them just killed himself yesterday, apparently. Ari Ben killed himself over Christmas, this says. The day after he posted that video. Kill him with kindness. This is a good video, but I disagree with you murdering your accusers. He didn't murder him. He died of kindness. Somebody's like, it's a good video, but I disagree with you murdering your accusers. He didn't murder him.

He died of kindness. Somebody's like, he's stoking that fire terribly. I kill him with kindness. Now, kindness is what I call my trusty blade. Yeah, that's so funny that he's just rolling with the punches of hey you molested people and now they're dying and he's like but have you considered a silly quasi louisiana voice telling you it's fine and to just kind of slap at a fire with the with the poker does that sound like a ge accent to you, Kyle?

It's supposed to be South Carolina, and no, it doesn't. Wait, it is? I thought it was like Houston, Louisiana. Oh, I'm sure you're right. I just remember the big peach thing on one of the episodes. There was a peach there in Gaffney. Yes. Okay.

Am I wrong? Isn't that peach in Georgia? There is a peach in Georgia. Okay. Alright. The one in Georgia, is that the one they used to represent it being in Gaffney? I have no idea.

Let me see if there's actually a Gaffney peach. Because I think that I drive by that peach sometimes. I'm a fucking idiot. I thought he was supposed to be from Louisiana. The peachoid. It is 135 feet tall. It's in Gaffney south carolina and it resembles a peach the water water tower holds 1 million u.s gallons of water and it's located off the peachoid road can you link it 85 there's a whole thing as to whether or not the drain or fill spout is an anus or a clit

or something yes Yes. What? I think that we should... Well, that was the premise. That was the whole point of one of the episodes. They found it distracting. Oh. And then crashed the car and died. All right. It looks like a clitoris on an upside down vagina.

Yeah. Or like a tiny poop coming out the bottom of a butt far too low mind you yeah i'm gonna go click because that's about where it belongs but upside down if the woman's upside down yes yeah yeah i wish you had corrected yourself no no, no, no. That's where it is, Kyle. Right next to the butthole. Right below the butthole. At the top of the ass crack, really. Trust me, the ladies love it.

There are men that... I wish we could find one of those people who has lived a full life you know they're 40 years old or whatever but there's something they don't know that they should know like what alamode means i was gonna go with chicken for creation or where chickens come from yeah that's also fair i think you top not how to sext people. I don't know.

Maybe I'm biased in my grading system, but I feel like not knowing the hardness of your dick is a lesser thing than, you know, chicken sex. I agree. Unbiased. Turns out some birds don't have penises. Hmm. I know that because someone linked me an article and said,

hey, if you had picked a different bird, you might have not looked like such a retard. Which bird doesn't have a penis? I don't know. At least one. I didn't actually click on the article. Maybe it was a joke. So it's possible you've been double duped.

It's possible I've been absolutely bamboozled once again. Wait. It's entirely possible. Most birds don't have penises. There are almost 10,000 species of birds and about 3% of them have a penis. These include ducks, geese, and swan, and large flightless

birds like ostriches and emus. But eagles, flamingos, penguins, and albatrosses have completely lost their penises wait chickens have no penises cocks don't have cocks was i right the whole time oh my gosh um no i choose not to believe that in all these species males still fertilize eggs by sending sperm into their body, but without any penetration. What? What?

Instead, males and females just mush their genitalia openings together, and he transfers sperm into hers in a maneuver called the clo... Clochle kiss? Hal, maybe you know that word? Cloacal kiss. Cloacal kiss. That's it. Two dunnocks demonstrate the move in the video below. Well, let me help you with...

That can't be too lewd. No, it's... Look at me, vindicated. Because that is not fucking... He didn't know where they came from. No, I knew they came from other chickens. So I'm going to just click on this video and watch a cloacal kiss? Is that what it was? Yeah, a colloquial kiss is that what it was yeah a colloquial kiss i hope it's two

human beings dressed as birds they're not furries but featheries should i be watching the duck penis right now i'm on the top video yeah the duck penis no it it has two lighted birds. Oh, okay. They're surrounded by what looks like grass. And he is just oral sexing her, I think. He's a gentleman. A man of taste. When does the kiss happen? I'm pretty sure that's them smushing their genitals together.

There's no actual like... No, well it was... There is no fucking... It was beak to butt, and I'm sure that's not how it's done He's got a I don't know I'm looking for the That should be tweeted at you tomorrow Wow was it that fast

It was Yeah Fire that come in there from your cloaca Was it that fast? It was. Yeah, because boom! Fire that cum in there from your cloaca. So the clock will kiss. There is no way that that constitutes fucking, and so I will take this victory.

I won't give it. It's already been taken. Douche. I knew it. It's already been taken. Douche. I knew it. I knew chickens didn't fuck. I didn't actually. I didn't know for sure they did,

but I just went with Kyle because I thought he was a subject matter expert. Shout out to the guy who tweeted me that. Big Dick Energy. Thank you. What the fuck? The argument wasn't whether or not they penetrate with a penis. You seem to think that they just asexually reproduced like some other creature.

I interpret it as something to do with the eggs. Like eggs just form inside of a hen and then it falls out a bird. No, I was meaning more like, you know how you can watch dogs fuck? Where it's like, there's humping, there's movement. I watch a lot of dogs fuck. And birds, I've never seen that. Other dogs? I've never seen a bird fucking a fellow bird.

I guess ducks do, but albatross, chickens? I've definitely seen birds fuck. Well, it might be one of the 3% that have penises with which to fuck. Because I've seen one bird really... They're all flappy while they do it, and the other bird's like, ah, what are you doing? I feel like I've seen that too. And with ducks...

Yeah, ducks. Don't they famously have a super long penis that's also foiled or something? It's like a pipe cleaner almost. Oh, God. A very unattractive penis. Yeah, dogs have ugly penises too uh i think that's a good look i like a pretty penis the lipstick is a good look the dog you haven't seen the whole thing yeah yeah you're right i i have luckily not had to deal with teddy and fozzie

on the other hand like i'm i'm ripping on the lipstick, but maybe it's an upgrade if both male and female provide some sort of lubrication in the sex. Oh, yeah. Right? Yeah, I think so. The dog comes ready, willing, and able. Right? Whereas my dry dick requires a little warm-up on the lady's side. Yeah.

That's true. That's true. Or some lard. Lard. Lard. Really anything wet. I feel like that's what they used in the old times, right? Maybe a little lard. Lard? Lard. Really anything wet. I thought that's what they used in the old times, right? Maybe lard.

I don't know. Is it lard? I don't know what they would have used. They probably would have wanted to save their lard for eating. I think there was enough lard to go around. You can use Crisco. They didn't have Crisco back then. Sure, sure.

I imagine that's right. I've been coconut oil is a rather effective too. So I've never used coconut oil as a lube, but I've always heard it's very good. Is that, do you go to that ever? Or are you always? Yeah,

I have. Yeah. I've known girls who had like poor reactions to other kinds of lubricants. And, and we, we would use coconut oil, but,

and it, the interesting thing, it's solid at room temperature. You've got a jar of something that's not peanut butter. That's completely wrong. You dig some out of there and it melts in your hands. It's like a Vaseline texture when you

scoop it out of there. I've done that when I've cooked. It's like almost flaky if you were to squeeze it. scoop it out of there. No, it's harder. I've done that when I've cooked. It's like... It's hard to describe. It's almost flaky if you were to squeeze it. Yes, if you scratch it with your fingernails, it'll flake off and roll up like you're...

I don't know. Like when you work wood. The way wood sort of rolls up and flakes off. It's a weird consistency, but it melts and it smells and tastes nice. My AC broke five or six years ago and i had a big tub of coconut oil and when i went to open it one day it was just a jar of liquid there's it was that hot in there but it didn't totally you should have dipped your cock in it and got down to business i could have i could have

and i'll kick myself every day or as it cools cools off, at one point, it had to be a fuckable bucket of coconut oil. I go stand near my open fridge with my penis in it and wait for it to cool down enough. Three more minutes and this will be some primo coconut oil. Get out of the kitchen! I don't need you judging me, sweetie.

Leave my coconut oil alone. I'm making cookies. I purchased this. Taylor, I'm right here. I'm in a teddy. No, bitch. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Yeah, I mean, what about other oils?

Could you, like, fuck with olive oil if you wanted? Yeah. Or would that mess up the i know it's kind of like an olympic pool down there for women you got to keep the ph right remember to shock it is that olive oil throw them off their i prefer a cold water pool myself yeah i i think you'd be okay with some olive oil. I've had dermatologists tell me it's really good for your skin before Hmm, is it okay with the inside of the purse? Yeah, I would think if you can eat it then you can fuck with it, right?

I think that's a general rule of thumb. If it can go in your mouth, it can go anywhere else. So how does peanut butter as lube sit with us? Well, the dog loves it. Maybe some great smelling sex. Yeah. Like, you know, I do want to finish, but I also want a peanut butter and jelly. She's like, wait, wait.

Is that chunky peanut butter? Are you insane? Damn it. I had that same thing in the chamber. You didn't specify. It's's gonna be a whole new like skippy chunky for her pleasure it's like an iud but you just fuck one of the full peanuts up in there it's very dangerous i don't recommend it did you shit yourself or oh no it's the i forgot oh that's so gross to fuck with peanut butter is a lube

yeah skippy it's just like i can't remember um where this came from if it was like but someone was describing a situation where like they put like chocolate sauce in the girl's ass crack and like like licked her butthole with chocolate sauce on it and he was like in theory great idea in practice disturbing visual i can't remember what that came from it was a tv show or a comedian or something i saw that is a terrible idea for food play yeah i've never done anything with food play uh have you guys whipped cream and chocolate sauce actually oh no i've done those things where it's like you'll go to a sex shop and like buy like some like sugar or something they're like they'll sprinkle on your dick and then suck it off but like that i don't think that really counts

as food play if you can buy it at the sex shop i use pop rocks ah i've tried that yeah not really oh no that was a thing yeah no the so the thinking is her mouth yeah no the idea was if you were to get a blow job while she has pop rocks that it was something special and it was oh i thought it was like how people will like blow cocaine into each other's assholes like maybe i'm feeling it now it was probably like the equivalent of an internet meme before the internet. Like, you know, blowjobbing pop rocks is next level. We'll see.

Oh, it's just sticky. And it burns. I feel like that can get your people, you know, pop rot in your pee hole. You're going to feel a little differently about this whole scenario. Maybe you're right. Yeah. Edible underwear is always incredibly underwhelming because in your head you picture like a nice pair of underwear but they're made of underwear in reality you get the most adult fruit roll-up of

all time and guess what it's been sitting in that sex shop for way longer than the fruit roll-ups at your local grocery store yeah and so it is not a pleasant tear of a chew to it yeah it's uh we've never done that but it strikes me as a yeast infection risk yeah i'm sure it is now you don't want to put sugar on the gash those things are incompatible that's a cliche i don't know but i also don't care that's not my problem yeah your problem now bitch i'm gonna get used to well then what's the problem there's a great episode of um uh curb your enthusiasm when like it's the one i was telling you about the other day where larry and uh that jewish lady are stuck on the ski lift and she's like i can't be with a man after sundown at the same time he's found he's starving and he

looks in his pocket. Ah, edible underwear. It's like a callback from earlier in the episode. And he's like, want some? And she's like, get that away from me. Get that away from me. She's more and more uncomfortable. And she's like, somebody's got to jump.

I can't be with a man after sundown. He's like, are you fucking crazy? I'm not jumping. Is she religious? Why can't she be with a yeah orthodox like orthodox oh okay yeah she can't be with a man after sundown she's a single lady and uh and so she has to jump off the ski lift from what looks like 20 25 feet like she's up there like it's not like a hop she's up there does she get hurt they cut you know it's a comedy show larry just goes he just looks down at her smushed body and has another bite of his strawberry underwear and he really needed that her father to like him because he's trying to

get a liver for his friend richard lewis and that guy, the lady's father is like the main liver transplant guy or some shit. That's a great show. It's just like Seinfeld, but a little different. I need to watch more of it. I haven't gotten through that catalog. I think I've only watched like one season of that show. Yeah, you got to get into it. It gets better as it goes.

And so does the camera work improves. And Larry's got a weird work ethic. You know, he's a billionaire. So he's like, I feel like doing a season. You know, I think I'll take a couple of years off. Yeah, yeah let's do two seasons now he's just kind of on and off but the whole cast always comes back and they've got tons and tons of really good guest stars like really famous people uh the new season's coming out soon i think it's season 10 still going this story might be out of date but they removed i've always called it tiktok it's toe talk the app no it's tiktok unless toe talk is

some off shoot that's the foot fetish one that one's better yeah that might be that would take off fuck this chain would you delete the podcast we're starting this now which changes everything oh i'm gonna own the hairy catalog i thought that giant popular app called tiktok where like they have it's mostly videos with like a twist or a turn in it was removed the whole time it's been totok which is a spying tool used by the united arab emirates government it's a messaging app and i was like can you believe tiktok you know like careers were made on this thing. Yeah. It's such a, I mean. You're just feeding info. Yeah.

I'm a retard. It's just similar. It's even like written kind of similar. Like, I don't think that's. Might be intentional. Right. I was going to say, I don't think it's accidental. Like, you know, you look at words, you don't really look at every letter as much as like

you see the outer shape of the word. Yeah, it's like a pictogram. That's, I think, what happened to me. Oh. Yeah. I just realized after I brought the story up that TikTok hasn't been removed and wasn't a spying app all along. Well, fuck!

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Like, he's tower... Yeah. He's going to be the tallest, it looks like. Oh, for sure. Yeah. He's not done yet. Right. He's 16, which is older than sometimes people think if they haven't kept up.

But like me, he hit puberty just recently. So he's still growing. He's in a growth spurt right now. Nice. Yeah. He's kind of a big guy. Um, here's a story to talk about.

So it looks like Miss Kentucky of 2014 sent, uh, risque. She meant to send this risque photo to her husband but accidentally sent it to this teenager and i want to see this the teenager 15 yeah 15 year old teenager and her story is that she meant to send it to her husband but accidentally sent it to this teenager then the teenager asked for more photos and she continued to send them because she was afraid not to appease him. She got his charity work. Since I'm the adult and he was just a teenager, it's my fault and I accept full blame for the situation. So that's how I'm guilty of this crime.

I messed up big time. That's what she says. She faces up to two years in prison, in addition to being ordered to register as a sex offender for the rest of her life and being on probation for up to 50 years. Which, There's no way. There's no way they're going to do that. She's too pretty.

This guy goes, all I get are robocalls. She pled guilty to one count of possession of material depicting minors in sexually explicit conduct. Wait, she sent a photo of a minor

sexually, because that's different than her sending nudes to a minor. The top of the article says she exchanged sexual photos with the 15-year-old. Yeah, so for people that wonder what she looks like, you know, y'all. The top of the article says she exchanged sexual photos with the 15-year-old. She's hot. Yeah. So for people that wonder what she looks like, you know what you all do.

You know what? I say no charges. Free her. Right? There should be... Like, as a matter of fact, if you're hot, and she's Miss Kentucky, I think, after all, then maybe you get to write it off as charity work on your taxes or something. Charity work would be good.

Or sentence her to have to text at least 10 other lucky 15-year-old boys. Those are the same photos. Man, I would love to be a judge. That's just absolute nonsense being out there. Now, I do declare. And they're like, you're from St. Louis, sir. You will not address me as such in my own court.

You will send that to not one, but two, but ten 15-year-old boys and me, and I'm going to be on the group chat to make sure you're doing it, and you're going to send some snatch this time. I can't wait to see what those little flower-peddly-ly pussy lips look like on you, man.

Case dismissed. It's perfect, right? I'll send you to four hours in my jacuzzi with me. Just become like a Banana Republic-style judge sentencing women. I'm here for a parking violation. Get under my desk and suck my dick. How do you like that? Chocolate on the outside, strawberry

on the inside. I wouldn't wish you a happy birthday this year when I do the Kevin Spacey thing. Dude, like, the amount of confidence it takes to get caught molesting underage people and then make multiple clips as a character of a show you've been fired from.

I'm not molesting anybody. This is what happens when people recklessly accuse people. You get the John Jones situation where it's like, ah, he's failed for steroids. No, he didn't. Come on. This is where Woody's going back on my side.

He tested positive for Turnable. Never happened. This is the kind of thing I follow. Turnable is a herb, Woody. No, it's not. I put it in my spaghetti. All right? All he tested for was good taste.

All right? Leave that man alone. He's a champion. And as far as this Kevin Spacey stuff goes, that young man was 16 or 17, and Kevin climbed on top of him. I've seen Woody wrestle plenty of young teenage men. We're not throwing him under the bus, making his TV show away, ruining a great television show for Kyle. You guys never played Naked Uncle Wrestling?

You guys never played that? It was only a game you could play after dark really quietly. He was fully clothed. Was he? Yes. It's my understanding these things are okay as long as you don't tell your mom about it. That's what I was taught as a young man. The worst thing that Kevin says he was a kid about as far as...

I get a crisp fiver. Taylor, don't tell your mom and dad. I won't. It's okay, naked uncle. Now beat me up. I think like the worst thing that he's accused of even doing was like grabbing a guy's butt. Like a little butt honk. I mean, any of us who have played sports, how many times have our buttocks been groped or slapped or spanked or whacked?

This is compelling and i want to be on your side because i love the usual suspects so much thank you yeah watch kpax you'll be blown away okay at the end of that you still won't know what happened k-a-p-a-x kevin spacey's leading it's good i haven't even heard of that powerful performance is this new no k- This is prime Kevin Spacey. Dude, him being like this around young guys makes American Beauty way less creepy of a film. Yeah. He was never going to do anything to that little girl. Maybe give her some fashion tips or something.

Look at her disgusting. That's an underappreciated line, Kyle. I liked it. Maybe a little queer eye for the straight girl, but that's it. It also seems a little bit weird that he turned down the gay neighbor. Too old.

He wanted it. It's like that scene from Game of Thrones. Too old. I'm looking. I can't figure out what he really was accused of. I want to know now that time has passed and I have a sober mind for better. Accused of being the undefeated light heavyweight champion.

That's what he's accused of being. And they're right. The show has ruined my point of view on so many things. I just realized that the whole reason that I thought that he was molesting kids is because of the bit I did as him a year or two ago. I was

like, well, where did I read that? Oh, no. You just made that up. But I guess everybody was making it up at the time. But maybe it wasn't made up because he did do some not cool things. I mean, find me a living child who can tell me something that Kevin Spacey did

that was untoward. Just one living child. No, really, find them. He wants to know where they are. It really wasn't that bad that he got kicked off of House of Cards at the point where that show was. It gave him a nice little out because it was oh, come on. It was not good

at the time he got kicked off. It was good. You're wrong. You're just wrong. I did not like it. It wasn't great blow your fucking pants off good. I wish it was. But it was good. I wish it was blow your pants off good. And then I can blow it was blow your pants off good and then I can blow what's under your pants

it was still good it wasn't great but it was still good it had gone downhill a little that final season I don't know if you ever bothered to watch it it is horrendous without him they don't know what to do

they don't even know what the fuck to do. Does his boring wife, is she the main lead now? Because she was not a very charismatic character. She never got me amped up. I liked her against him. Right? He was calculated and

cruel and she was too. I felt like their dynamic was good together maybe that's just me yeah no i liked when they were like basically just an evil power couple plotting yeah plotting you know very sinister they would like break up mid-marriage she'd like fuck other people and sort of get back together and that whole it just added a certain detachment to them. I didn't even put that together but that's not wrong.

Yeah, she's a standard for Hillary Clinton. Is she? Yeah. I mean, she's more charismatic than Hillary. Yeah, and she murdered a couple people. And she's hotter than Hillary. I'd much rather fuck her than Hillary. My goodness. Who else was she in? Did you princess bride back in the day she uh she's i think she's

one of the most beautiful women who's ever lived the lady who plays claire like go back to watch and watch princess bride she's a perfect human being she's a perfect human being i think she's pretty but i wouldn't have picked her i i think it's cool that people have different bullseyes for what perfect is and that way not just one woman is perfect right some guys think kim kardashian is the bullseye some guys think they think they think pictures of her look nice but i literally can't think of her name emma thompson watson is who I'm going for. The Harry Potter girl? Yeah, the Harry Potter girl is not far from my mark of perfect human being.

Look at this image. Holy shit. I did not realize that was the same woman. And Carrie Ewells. My god, he's almost as pretty. I'd rather fuck him for being honest. She does have a good jawline but i she never jumped out at me as like one of the prettiest women in hollywood i feel like he would make me feel like a woman really yeah he doesn't strike me as a guy overflowing in testosterone

he's like a little fancy to my eye yeah i like him like him fancy. Oh, I don't know. I bet he'd give good head. I don't want to be a fancy boy. I bet he'd give head. Yeah. Well, you're turning me around. I've taken back. Yeah.

Yeah. She's very attractive. Really? And that show, how long has that show been over? They only did the one season without Kevin Spacey, right? Yeah. That was it.

That was the final season. I think she's Hollywood average to me. I i think she's very pretty which is like the prettiest girl you'll see at the mall the entire time walking there but hollywood normal i would i would definitely say above hollywood normal for sure for her okay i don't know if i would go as far as kyle saying she's the most attractive woman of all time but she might be what about that big-tip bitch for Mad Men that goes back to my there are different bullseyes right like like her that that big tip it for a madman is not my... He says the exact same thing when he's like, settle it down. When he

says something, Taylor could slip an N-bomb right in and I'd be like, well, yeah, that's true about those people. Woody slides in and I'm like, ah! That was just a slide call. I literally don't know her name. That's it for now. You know, the big kid.

Hand clam. Come on on that dumb cunt yeah yeah she she's very good looking and the thing that made me like her more was unlike uh the handmade tail chick yeah it was also in mad men but she was so fucking boring and she sucked the the big tip itch her character in mad men was actually good like she was so fucking boring and she sucked. The big tip is, her character in Mad Men was actually good. She was interesting. She was playing the game. She knew what pieces were in play. She always was smart.

And I liked her. She was my favorite female character. Don Draper's wife, she was so boring. By the way, here's the Robin Wright Penn's daughter. So this is the daughter of the Princess Bride Lady. Wow.

This could be her clone having grown up. She looks so similar to me. Wow. She came from Sean Penn too? Yeah. There's very little Sean Penn in this hot chick. Hmm. How about 1% Sean Penn too yeah because he's there's very little Sean Penn in this hot chick hmm how about one percent Sean Penn and 99 percent Robin Wright she got lucky let's make it an even hundred I like to think there's another sister out there that looks

just like Sean Penn with a big fucking hunger god damn it yeah john penn what does he look like again oh he looks like a goddamn ghoul these days he caught like el chapo for us so yeah he he looks like casey neistat yes dad yeah he's got that he's got that same nose oh man casey i've said this before but i'll repeat it casey neistat was i watched a lot of his videos. I used to catch him every day. And he mentioned that he got made fun of in school a lot. But the way he said it was like, yeah, I got picked on in school because of the way I look. And it was like, you know?

You look like that. I figured you thought you looked like everybody else does that'd be like somebody in a wheelchair being like yeah I couldn't really get into a lot of sports you know because of my legs he knows? Casey knows that man has access to all sorts of technology

I'm sure mirrors aren't beyond him but this is a guy who lives on camera he lives on camera yet somehow I thought he was unaware of the fact that people look at him. It's hard to put my finger on it, right? Let that sink in. This is a man who's picking his best angles all the time, and yet that's what we get. In some ways, he's great.

He's really fit. I've been running. I know what his run— He is a good runner. And he has abs. And from the neck down, especially for his age, is he 40 yet? I don't know.

He's knocking on the door 40. Somewhere between 30 and 55. I think he's knocking on the door 40 and he has abs, which is an uncommon thing. He's got a jewel on his belly button. I don't want to make out of it but that's that's a good line i can't let it go unappreciated

but uh but yeah just like everything he can control he has done an a plus job with i don't know anything about... They don't have rhinoplasty in New York? Yeah, I guess. Is it just the nose, though? He walked into the clinic and he's like, we're not wizards here, sir. Jesus Christ. Get out of here.

Did you have three other noses? Magical maladies and misuse, sir. First of all, it's fictional. You're going to want to grab a grocery cart and sprint into that brick pillar and hope that Hogwarts follows can fix it for you yeah that like I don't have nearly as much empathy for

unattractive men as unattractive women because like you said I've never watched a Casey Neistat video I assume because he's so popular he must have a good personality he's rich as fuck he's so popular, he must have a good personality. He's rich as fuck. He's probably funny. He is someone who took his negative, which was his looks,

and turned it into a positive and developed a phenomenal personality. I'm assuming. Whereas for women, it's much more difficult. You can be an unattractive woman and have a fantastic personality, and people are not going to give you the same leeway they will on that. You can't even be a fucking woman mixed martial artist and not be pretty like like like like like

to be a successful woman most of the time and most of the time it's like oh yeah she's the best dancer ever what's she look like she's an amazing singer what what's she look like she's a great kickboxer but but what what does she look like she's a great kickboxer but but what what does she look like she's ugly what's funny even in politics i feel like you have to hit the right look right in in most i'm with kyle on most of this you can be too pretty in politics oh yeah like i think um not for me shit give me the the woman who ran with McCain as vice president. Yeah, Sarah Palin I think was maybe... People liked her too.

She was too stupid. Too stupid, but I think that if she was a little less pretty, people may have taken her a little more seriously. Maybe the stupid label wouldn't have stuck quite so well if she was a little less pretty. Tulsi Gabbard? Beautiful. Beautiful.

Maybe a little hot compared to the bullseye for politicians. Right? No, I'm happy with where she is. She did vote present, though, and they are melting down over it. I'm voting for her because she is the most hated Democrat in the field. She is. Yeah, the Democrats are really not. They actually spend less time talking

about that guy's no vote the one that switched to republican the very next day um then they are about tulsi gabbards because who the fuck is that guy though like who really cares about him i hope she's like compared to the you know well he i hope she switches and they get rid of pence and tulsi runs with trump boom dude she's way hotter than Pence. So much hotter. Speak for yourself. You don't want to fuck Pence even a little bit. Speak for yourself.

Doesn't Pence look like the most boring person of all time? We often talk about what politicians would be cool to hang out with. And Bill Clinton, of course, is way up there. George Bush, too. But Ronald Reagan, I mean, if you can stay on the smell, I mean, it'd just be cool to look at what's left. But Pence has to be, like, bottom tier. Obama would be cool as shit, too.

I can't believe I skipped over him. I think he'd be a very cool guy to hang around with. Most people successful in politics are pretty personable. Pence would suck. I feel like he would not be fun to hang out with at all. Another guy I wouldn't want to hang out with, Lindsey Graham. Oh, you'd get your dick sucked well i retract it so it's just pence so far i don't think i'd want to like every once in a while ted cruz will have like a just funny enough tweet that like conservatives will be like oh look at this banger and it's like

stop trying to make it a thing like he's not the kind of person you want to hang out oh that was who i was thinking of marco rubio i bet that guy is boring as shit yeah boring oh you weren't boring we skipped over jeb bush low energy jeb yeah he would be boring but trump has lined up so many bullets in the insult chamber for him that you could just make little comments to him the whole time, and that would be fun. Yeah, he seems like he would suck. It's nice to meet you, Mr. Bush. Wow, what a legacy. What a legacy.

Have you tried coffee? Oh, Joe Biden? And I'm talking strictly 2019 Biden. I just want to know if i'm allowed to put peanut butter on his leg hair during this meeting well all the black kids used to put peanut butter on my hair and then they'd have the neighborhood dogs come and they lick it off and then they see my leg hair go down and i where are my pills who who am i i was a vice president he's what he said to that guy where he's like all the good people of ohio know that it's like you're an iowa bitch like he's gonna fall like like i pretend as fuck to hang out with i just want to do a push-up contest with biden i think

i can take him i can take that old fuck you would trash wreck him how many do you think he could do realistically and we're not talking about like, you know, you get to that point where you're like, he got, I got eight more in me, but I'm going to collapse on the eighth one. You know,

we're not talking about like complete exhaustion. How many could he knock out at a tempo? Like one, two, three. Tempo makes it easier from, in my opinion, but it does make it easier.

But I'm just saying like, uh, before he's, you know, forget the trailing off. I'm going to assume he's better than we'd guess because he brought them up on his own. These are a strong point for me. That's why I'm bringing it up. I'm going to say that number is 15.

I would guess he could do... He looks like a slim guy. I bet if he's bragging about it, he can crank out 25. Cause I can't imagine someone bragging about their pushups who can't do 25. Cause like, I was going to say 10. How many can you do without stopping Taylor? I haven't done pushups in a while. Um, I mean, usually when I would do it, when it was like a bigger part of my workout, I

would do like five by 20 or something. That's what I was about to say. Like, I don't know the answer to your question at any point in my life. The most I had to do was that we did a fitness test once in high school and I think it was how many you could do in a minute. I feel like I'm going to get this wrong. I know I did 50. It may have been two minutes, but I did 50 and I was done.

But like whenever I've done them for like an exercise, I'd always do sets of 20 because I felt like that was a good... You're going down slower. You're more controlled. You're taking more time with the form and everything. That does make it harder instead of doing the presidential fitness test. Just trying to pump them out with shit form. The number isn't always as

telling as time under tension. If I do 20 in a minute and I do 15 in a minute, 20 is not that much harder but um uh and five in a minute might be harder right i guess it depends where you spend your time 90 degrees so yeah if you kept constant motion but as slow as you could do it five in a minute might be harder yeah it's the same way with bench press where like you know if i'm doing five reps of bench like i'm getting it down to my chest and then i'm trying to explode it off of my chest like really push hard but if i'm having my bench press to use my rib cage to get out of the hole it's kind of like a trampoline down there

i remember in high school i did like i did bench like that the first time I was learning how to bench. And even on whatever lightweight I was doing, like learning the form, I was like, okay, the coach is saying to kind of use your chest as a springboard, but the amount of rib flex I'm getting can't be good. I can't be like, whoa, whoa! I'm just letting it bounce off my chest. I would be surprised if Biden can do more than 10.

Just because once you get that old, I feel like your muscles start going to shit. There's no way he'd brag if he could only do 10. But look at the guy he was bragging against. Right. That guy he's bragging against. If you don't do any push-ups like 0-0, zero you just been out of it for years like you can be surprised how little you do you know like it might be you might

do 10 and be sore for two days like it's a yeah but the exhaustion part i feel like all right maybe so but but i'd like to i just don't think he would brag if he doesn't do them every i imagine that biden he was in the military right the navy or something air force maybe i can check but i'd like to i just don't think he would brag if he doesn't do them every i imagine that biden he was in the military right the navy or something air force maybe i can check but i just imagine he's kept up some sort of uh a fitness reg routine like throughout life and maybe he wakes up every morning at 6 a.m and he does his 50 sit-ups and his 50 push-ups and then he jogs a quarter mile and like he's been doing that for since the since the 70s or something you know who i think i could i bet bernie could bang out more push-ups than biden i bet bernie would bernie just had heart surgery yeah no i'm on biden with that one

i think biden still exercises i forgot about the heart thing okay never mind yeah it wasn't a big deal it wasn't like open heart surgery i think they went in with like one of those uh like a stent wires and like snipped a thing or something because i remember it happened when i was in prison maybe the day i was getting released from prison even um and they were like it was so funny to see cnn like not know whether to make it out to be a huge deal or a tiny deal they're like like, well, he is on our team, kind of. But let's talk about the risks. What could happen in an extreme scenario? Well, his heart could explode like a bomb,

killing everyone within a 50-meter radius. Or it's just a small procedure. They go in through an artery in his leg, and they snip. Well, he's walking out this afternoon. They couldn't make their mind up. Oh, the way they treat Bernie is ridiculous, where it's like I saw something that it was either MSNBC or – no, I think it was MSNBC that they gave quite a bit more talking time

over the course of their week about Amy Klobuchar. Oh, yeah, I saw that too. She had a good debate. They had every Klobuchar supporter in that one room they rounded them all up and asked everybody who do you think did the best and they're all like i saw that for whatever reason klobuchar they loved her in the last debate uh it would happen as the debate size shrunk and some of the people that you never looked at before practically getting looked at for the first time and she had a good debate i think okay uh who is it bernie supporters are interesting because they bust that

they're not getting enough coverage and that could be true and there's been some like graphics errors and stuff where like he was left out or misordered or there was one time he gained five percent in the polls but they said he lost five percent and you can look at that. That's a big deal. It is, but I suspect that... I look at it and see it's probably a mistake and not it's probably part of a conspiracy. See, but I don't like the... If it were a mistake, it would go in more directions more often.

The fact that it seems to fall against him more often than not. Oh, that's the counter. The Bernie coverage is super positive. He's had one of the most positive coverages as a ratio they just want more of it so i looked at i looked into it because we talked about it and i was like you know is that on target like am i wrong about this so my take on it is usually are you going on the show because i'm pretty positive bernie sanders is invited anytime he wants to go on Chris Cuomo, he can have fucking Scaramucci spot, right?

There's no way they want fucking Mooch for the 93rd time when they could get Bernie Sanders instead. Instead, Bernie's just made the calculation that it'd be better for him to stay in Iowa and New Hampshire and get voters there than to go on whatever TV show he wants. A good move for Bernie as far as going on shows, like he's not going to get anybody new from like a Cuomo, but if he went on like a Tucker Carlson or something

and gave his spiel there, because I think Tucker's still the highest rated. I haven't checked in a hot minute, but like Tucker is also more populist with his economic views. And obviously Bernie is pretty populist with his economic views. Like he couldie is pretty populist with his work he is like he could i think that he you know it would at least be good for getting his name out there going on a bigger show the problem with that i think is so right now on more liberal media stations they they won't say something like well how are you going to pay for it because then they

might have to ask that question of every other candidate who's who's blue right now well how are you going to pay for these things that you want to do well and in the right hand they're attacking trump for for blowing up the desk i've set up a go fund me you know going after they can't really go after the the blue guys for having these these plans these multi-trillion dollar plans for the future, whether it's healthcare or the green deal or whatever it may be. But I feel like if you put Bernie

over there on Tucker's show, he's going to ask, how are you going to pay for it? He has a plan. He's done the math. You just might not like it. The plan is he's going to put a tax on all of the transactions

on Wall Street. So I'm going to make up the number. Let's say it's a penny on all these things and then it's supposed to put a tax on all of the transactions on Wall Street. So I'm going to make up the number. Let's say it's a penny on all these things. And then it's supposed to get rid of like some of the micro trading and it's market fluctuations and it's supposed to fund it. And then, of course, the kind of people that it would tax, the kind of people investing in Wall Street are. Fox News viewers. Tend to be wealthy. I don't know if that's true, actually.

I don't think of Republicans as rich. I think there's all kinds of rich and poor Republicans. I think of rich people as rich. I think of rich people as playing some game. They know where their bread's buttered. I totally agree with you there. And that's one of the things I really like about Bernie's proposal. Is that taxation on Wall Street. I think that's a great idea.

I think it's awesome. I need to think it through. I'm not an economist. I feel like a lot of these things are – someone else should be making these decisions. And I feel like I could be fooled that the left way works and the right way works because I've seen debates. I've seen Republican debates, and it's like, wow, that makes so much sense. Why don't we just do it? And then you watch the Democratic debate, and you're like, wow, we're squandering so much.

Why don't they just do it this way? And then an economist after the show comes on, and he's like, none of that works. None of that works. We've got to stop spending. Right. Actually, no, it's too late. It's too late.

It's like climate change. It's irreversible at this point so many economists are fucking dumb as shit though where they get every who's that main guy the note there was that nobel uh prize-winning economist who had that quote paul krugman or krugman something like that i think that's his name where he's he's never i saw some funny thing online like probably a year or so ago where it was like respected economist krugman says blah blah blah blah and then it was like a lot of his big claims over the last couple decades and every single one of them was pants on head retarded in hindsight where it was like the internet you

know it's not going to be any more impactful than the fact machine and it's like oh my god dude that's the thing about what krugman he's a nobel winning prize nobel prize winning economist so there's like a little knock and notch in his favor the other side of it is though he's been kind of a clickbait reporter for the last 10 years so he says stuff like the internet is the next fax machine or you know the whole world this is like 97 out. Yeah, but he's, I don't know if I want to say cut him slack, but almost like I disregard him or I understand where he's coming from

in that he's a clickbait reporter. He parachutes into India for two weeks and then comes back praising what's going to happen in outsourcing for the next 15 years. Yeah, that's how so many of these people are. Not just the economists, but the were like some big story will drop and four minutes later there's a slap shot article together on their website that's like everything you need to know about the new trade deals and you like read the first paragraph and it's like you were

reading a different article and just doing what i did with papers where you like instead of saying the boy jumps high it would be and the boy did tend to when jumping go very high just restructuring you don't know what the fuck you're talking about this is my fourth grade book report wait you're just summarizing the Indian in the cupboard

you watch the movie. So many of those fucks are just... You were young for this particular thing, but when we invaded Afghanistan, everyone I worked with pretended that they were really into Afghanistan before 9-11. Like, oh yeah,

I've been following that conflict for quite some time. I'm a regional expert. Don't get me started on Afghanistan. It's like, okay, show me where it is. That's how I learned geography. Like, we invade new places. I'm like, alright, I need to know where it is.

Yeah, the first thing I learned when the Afghanistan thing was going down, I was a kid, but it was like, man, there's a lot of Istans out there. I didn't know that. There's a whole region of the world that's just a hobnob of, I guess you get like Kazakhstan.

That's like... A Turk maybe? That's like Asian and Russia mix in Kazakhstan. Turkmenistan? Turkmenistan. I don't know where that is. Probably next to one of the other stands. Afghanistan.

I'm pretty sure the Uzbekistan. I'm pretty sure that the suffix stan means land. That makes sense. Yeah. They're over there like, look out, there's Switzerland and England, and they're just going through the whole

list. They can't come up with something else? I came up with the list afghanistan kazakhstan kirkistan pakistan tajik tajikistan turkmenistan and uzbekistan how about we just slim it down look the stand is the only part of those pronunciations i feel pretty good about you could have snuck a fake one in there and I would have rolled it. There's really an unspecified stand? Yeah.

There's a gooby gooby stand. Oh, okay. Where's that one? It's right near... I'll just name two other countries we all know but can't... Yeah, it's in between iran and

mongolia are those next to me that's quite a swath i'm not even that sure it's mostly china i'm gonna look at how far apart they are what did i do you know what's cool about russia is that they get to be the biggest country on earth by landmass and still get to like have that little feather in their cap. But I'm pretty sure like 50% of Russia is uninhabitable trash, right? Yeah. It's too cold. How much, what's, I need to know how they compare with somewhere like Australia. Oh, it's definitely way bigger than australia so australia is three

million biggest china right i actually thought russia wasn't as big as it looks it's twice it's six million square miles it's the crazy the mercator map whatever i was looking for so here's a room in this button all of europe just under 4 million square miles. Pulling out Mercator map, don't know what... All of Europe is just a little bit thicker than the United States. What are you looking at right now? Are you doing one of those where you drag the... No, I'm looking at actual square miles.

The US, 3.797 million square miles. All of Europe, 3.93 million square miles. And how big is Russia? 6.6. Oh. It's bigger than I gave it credit for. Yeah, Australia's 3 million. It's just a little bit smaller than us.

This is quite the show. Americans talking geography. Laugh, it's a comedy show, so it works. Now, what's the smallest country? I guess Vatican City, right? No, it's that fucking place that we were talking about ordering a nightclub.

The Duke of Sealand. Yeah, Sealand. I'm not counting that. You can't call an oil rig a country. And I'm certainly not paying $500 to become a duke. You know what, that could be a Twitch donation goal. I will become

the king of sealant. We'll update your name a Duke Taylor. What would it be? Well, I'm sorry guys. I'm in a lot of debt now. It's a lot more expensive to become king than Duke and now I've got a lot of royal responsibilities.

Yeah. That. Yeah. Americans talk in geography. Well, is it that Americans are that shit at geography? Or is it that everyone's kind of shit at geography and we're just the loudest about it? Or is it that we're shit at their geography? Right.

Like, I never look at someone from England and be be like you can't find colorado on a map it's one of the square ones you don't have those all sorted out yet for them like these are kind of local things like you know if you're from england you should be able to find romania it's in your neck of the woods yeah good point good point africa so't know where any of those countries are. You know, it's the one that's Cuba, I think. It's the one just kind of like, like if the U.S. is here, it's kind of in this region. Down there.

True. Either that or down here. It's one of those two things. You're speaking Spanish, so I think it's on this end. The American Samoas. Where would that be on the globe? I don't know where that is at all. I didn't know we had Samoas.

We do. We do have Samoas. What are we doing with them? They're a delicious cookie. I usually eat them. I like to microwave them a little first, though. It's a solid move. Microwaving your Samoa cookies.

This here is where all Samoas are picked fresh into the mainland. Look at my fucking bush. That's why they're all fat. Their hands are removed by the king of... I read America's not in the top 10 fattest countries anymore. Yes! China!

No, Mexico. I think Mexico is right up there real high. They were number one one time. I'm going to look. They are. Mexico's number one still because they still have the delicious Coke. Yeah, they keep... You guys both froze for me? Say it. Oh. Say it. What. Say it.

What? I wasn't going to say something awful. Oh, okay. This list actually does have America as the fattest. That's fake news. Get out of that one. Probably a Mexican list. Oh, wait.

This is bullshit. This is the countries with the most fat people. Oh, that's not fair at all. So China is second, even though it's 4% of the adult. If 96% of your adults are not fat, then really this is just a measure of countries with the most people. I hope they're not taking height into... That's a thing too. It shouldn't be heaviest because America are big, right?

They're taller than most not everyone sure japan and korea are the lowest asian countries really good at eating well seems like yeah those north koreans a slim bunch of folk all right and that's because of diet and exercise diet exercise healthy lifestyle it's uh love for the tremendous lack of food if you love the great leader enough you too will be fit like he is dude i'd be fucking pissed as a north korea like they kim jong-il kim jong-un the rest of them they should have had the fucking decency to at least not be super fat right like that that's gotta upset people i bet he has one of the coolest lifestyles that any human

being has ever lived i would trade with him in a second like you think about like that you see in like cartoons or like like depictions of like medieval kings how they've got like a hot chick like with some grapes like like draping a handful of grapes over their mouth i can go get all the grapes i fucking want they're two dollars kim jong-un has the modern equivalent of the hot chick draping grapes over your face i don't know what that is i was waiting for you to reveal it i don't know what it is it's it's it's fucking what do they like over there soybeans it's fucking sushi coming out of a supermodel's butthole or something and he's just sucking them out like just just just tuna rolls

dope that guy's life is does he just get head whenever he wants like that's what i'm looking for right does he just get there must be beautiful women in that country somewhere and and he just like i don't know he's in the middle of some meeting talking about defense spending and someone's sucking him off under the table, I hope. Yeah, that's sick. That seems a little unprofessional. I'm not sure if he can do that. But I imagine behind closed doors. What's the point of being supreme leader

if you can't have that? I bet he's got a whole harem. I'm like, what do they call me, kind of leader? No, supreme leader. Yeah, he's definitely getting ahead at meetings, doing all sorts of cool guy stuff. Anything he wants is his. Name me one thing. You know what?

We've been skewed by Western media. Name one thing that's proven negative about Kim Jong-un. He's fat. Name two things. I think he's just bulky under that coat. He's short. I think that's the camera angle.

It's not. We're looking right at him. It's a mistake. You want to go very low. Very low. What's Japan's emperor up to? His lifts. The lifts that Kim wears are outrageous. He stood next to Trump and it was like

alright so maybe Trump ain't 6'3 but he's 6'1 for damn sure. Kim is not. Kim Yeah, something like that. Kim is not. Kim has got to be like... Kim is wearing lifts like this. They're like three- Are they similar height standing next to each other?

No. Yeah, let me try to find it. They were closer than you'd think. All you have to do is put them on stilts, and they'll be similar heights. I'm not saying they're genetically similar. Oh, no, no. The one I was thinking of is when they're walking through that courtyard or whatever,

and he's got those giant, silly clown shoes on, and Trump is still just big, fat American. You know, this garden isn't as cool as the one I have. You know, in my memory, they were much closer in height, but I'm going to link you. Maybe there was a photo op that you saw. I mean, this is a photo op. This is them shaking hands in front of all the flags and shit.

Not even close. And he's in like five inch lifts right now. That's the point. Yeah, yeah. This is a little fella. Look at how healthy that doughy hand is. Damn. Look at that puffy hand.

Yeah. That's something. He looks sweaty. This guy's living his best life. He looks sweaty. This guy's living his best life. He looks sweaty. I love the phrase for Kim Jong-un on his side. This guy's so cool.

He's living his best life. I think it could be an Instagram model, really. Yeah, this guy, pretty cool. Dude, how rocking would it be if he did, like, really maintain an Instagram Instagram page where he like, I don't know. Just take cool shit. Just take cool shit all the time. He's just up there like jet skiing with models in the back. Check this out. He's got a nuclear missile.

Right? We're going to shoot one over Japan. Watch this. Oh, I'm just here cheering in my favorite concentration camp. Dude, that would be so dope. I would love that. Oh, Devil'm just here cheering in my favorite concentration camp. Dude, that would be so dope. I would love that. Oh, you got 20 women? I got 20 million.

Actually, I'm going to kidnap you. What is it called when kings get to take the virginity? That's pre-monocta. Prenocta, right? It's pre-monocta, right? I'm re-implementing Prima Nocta. It's the entire country. Trump could not get that, but Kim Jong-un might.

For sure. He definitely could. Yeah, Trump couldn't because we got like a book of justice and rules. Yeah. Did you see those pictures of, what was it, Prince Philip? Yes. They're like 1% health HP on his health bar. He just stubs his toe, it's over.

He looks ghoulish. He looks horrible. His eyes are so sunken in. Is he the queen's son? Help me out with this. I don't know. No, it's her husband. Her husband's alive?

Barely? Yeah. Yes. I mean, alive? There's this hilarious picture of him wearing his military dress and her losing her shit looking at him

because it's so goofy. Let me try to find it. It's really funny. It's such a cute couple. How old is that bitch? Like 110? How long has she been around? She's like Walter Fraying it, right? Where she makes it to 90, so the 70-year year old children don't really get to be king oh yeah here it is this is a great picture i'll tell you when i link it

like she's got a great sense of humor you can tell just but look at this that's him hmm he's standing erect. Yeah, it hits him in the suit there. He looks good in that, I think. It's because he's just gotten back from Little St. James Island. Imagine Trump's body shape in that costume. Oh, that would not...

His posture. He does that weird standing thing with his chest forward. I wonder what he's doing there. I think it's a guy who's never done face pulls, as AthleanX would say. I feel like he's ready to attack. I painted my own thing on Trump's weird... If people don't know, Trump stands with his butt out and his chest forward in a weird way. My suspicion is that while it looks a little weird,

he's figured out that it looks good at certain camera angles. And he's, that's what he's doing. He's like showing his body. Like, otherwise he'd look like the penguin with his belly out too far or something like that. So actually I just do a lot of posterior chain work.

Yeah. Like anyone who spends a lot of time on camera knows their good angle. Right. What if he had that moment like Joe Rogan had when that lady called him fat and he was like fat and pulled it off and he's got a weighted vest that he's been wearing it's like there's oh what's that he does kinda he just drops like a hundred pounds of lead weights and fucking rolls out a big hulk hogan fucking 24 inch python like wouldn't you be proud of your president i would i'd vote for him again if he did that rolls out a big Hulk Hogan fucking 24 inch python. Wouldn't you be proud of your president? I would. I'd vote for him

again if he did that. He might win my vote back. Yeah, yeah. I'm a swing voter. Whoever has bigger biceps gets my vote. What's that fucking cartoon with the Dragon Ball Z? There's an episode of Dragon Ball where that happens. I think we watched it in a hangout one time where they're having some sort of a

fight on a dojo mat or something like that. And all the like the badasses from that universe are there. I don't know anything about it. So forgive me if you're a fan. I'm butchering this. But he he's he's too slow to take this guy. And it's like it's I think it might be Goku or whoever the main like little kid with the spiky hair is. He's too slow.

And you're like, how can he be too slow for anyone? You know, he's the he's like Superman. And he's the apex. He's the apex. But you're like, how can he be too slow for anyone? You know, he's the, he's like Superman. He's the apex. He's the apex. He's like, but he's, he's losing. And he's like, ah, hang on a minute. If you don't mind. And he like takes off his like sweat bands and like his, he's wearing like 250 pounds

of weights on him all the time. Like when he, when he drops his sweat band,band it falls like lead it goes ka-funk and the other fighter goes what is this uh like and now he can literally jump like 100 feet in the air and stuff he should have got his ass kicked while he was taking that happened in mma in pride i i forget i hope i have all these details right but the guy came out wearing a gi because he trained in a gi. A gi, for people to know, is the karate pajamas you wear.

And he came out in his gi and he thought that he'd be able to use it as a weapon, wrap it against the other guy and stuff because he does that in practice. Wasn't working. Instead, it just put handles all over him so the other guy controlled it. So he told the guy,

wait one second, I'm going to take my gi off. And he didn't. And he hit him while he'm going to take my gi off. And he didn't. And he hit him while he was trying to take his gi off and won the fight. And I thought that was awesome. That's great. Look at that gif. This is what I want to have.

Breaks the concrete. Breaks the concrete. You're like, oh. Shit on you. Oh! Shitaru! I think his shoes were also incredibly heavy as well. Everything he was wearing was super duper weighted.

That's how I feel when doing pull-ups. If I suck at a game enough in a night, I might do 50 or even 60 pull-ups. It's like, you guys don't realize i'm wearing a weighted vest this whole time you know in the form of my belly and thighs and calves made of trail mix carefully cultivated to increase my shoulder activation in my pull-ups have we have we ever had a a more fuckable Candidate for president

Than Miss Gabbard Gabbard Unless you count JFK That's too long ago it doesn't count Alright then no I'm trying Gabbard was top tier I mean

Sarah Palin doesn't count because she was vice I was I was looking for Palin too who's hotter Gavard or Palin I think Gavard

Gavard for sure we're not jaded by current Palin right you gotta knock like 16 years off her that's fair that's fair

but I mean hang on I've got a good picture of Palin here somewhere are you gonna link the porn one Yes Why are you ruining my joke I don't think we have I don't think we have

Trump, Obama, Bush, Clinton I don't want to fuck any of them So I think we have to vote for for dulcey audacity of erection the audacity of erection from russia with love nailing palin yeah that's not even sarah palin no that's a poor that's a porno they made um mocking her um some russians come over and she's like oh i can see you're from my house then the two russians with ushanka's banger it's great budaj made a joke he was talking about

winning in like michigan or ohio or something like that and like, you know, I live 10 miles from Michigan. Yeah. I could see it from my front porch. I can see Michigan from my house. It was funny. Do you see that cringe? That's Lisa Ann. That's my,

that's one of my favorite porn stars. She's top three. Can you name all three? No, I like, um, spelled pale. I think that's so they don't get sued it's a Remy

familiar with that look Remy something lacrosse lacrosse look I think it's lacroix or something like that fucking silly drink oh like the drink I like yeah and that also like that incredibly tiny Piper Perry. Incredibly tiny blonde girl. Piper Perry picked a peck of pickle pepper. I'm so bad with names. He picks a lot of pickle peppers. I'm so bad with names.

I almost never learned porn star's names. But Dylan Harper, I think, is one. Very hot. If I see her name or something, I'll be like, huh. Well, for science check it out palin that's so funny we had optic midnight on the show that's her name right yeah midnight yeah people don't know that she's out uh so she's lesbian and we were talking about some sort of sex thing or whatever and uh she's like does anyone have a link you know for science

and it just made her really like i don't know i i liked her she was like for a girl to be like yeah give me a porn like for science i want to see this chick uh she's one of the boys right like that's kind of what happened i was like ah she's a sport i thought that was cool yeah do you see that uh that cringe thing buddha judgeieg did recently where he has so many billionaire donors and high-level donors that he started a contest to see? He's like, hey, let's see who can be the smallest donator to my campaign and you'll win something. And so he can try and get a bunch of people donating like a dollar and two cents right to try and lower that average and apparently like trump and clinton were both asked to do this same kind of uh approach and even fucking trump of all people was like that seems jackie and inappropriate it was like oh my god dude like pete come on you can't you can't be

doing that so all of them attack him for having the fundraiser and the wine cave or whatever. I saw a pic of that wine cave. It looks like fun. Really? I'm not... Here are the arguments pro and con. You've got

Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren kind of lying about it. She actually took a bunch of billionaire money and transferred it into her thing, but she stopped doing it. So she says she's a reform, whatever. Bernie actually, as typical with Bernie, has been honest and consistent since seemingly the 1920s. So, you know, to his credit, like it's a fair and honest talking point for him. Buttigieg says this. He's like, hey, we can't play this game with one arm tied behind our back.

Guarantee you Donald Trump is going to have no problem taking money from billionaires, right? And he didn't say it, but I'm like, yeah. And he would have no problem getting help from foreign countries too. And I know that because he said it when he was interviewed by George Stephanopoulos. He said, I would absolutely do that. And it seems like he has. So should the Democratic candidates be like, no, you can't be rich if you donate to me? Or should they say, my opponent is going to play hardball so I can too? I think it's more of a thing they're trying to appeal to the Bernie base. And if Buttigieg or Biden or whoever, Warren, I know what you're saying is totally correct about her taking those donations and pretending to be like Bernie the whole time. Right.

But like, you know, they're trying to like these young Democrats who are more progressive and anti-billionaire and shit, they're not going to like somebody who's taken a ton of billionaire donations. And so I see it more as like, oh, we got to try and tamp this down so we can win these people because they're going to be disenfranchised when when bernie gets fucked over again and we need them because if they don't turn out to vote we're fucked like so they're not going to win i think buddha judge rose in the polls so they're just that's a tool they can use to take his from two to three but he got a lot of it it's weird like i used to be sort of anti-Biden. I would say, you know what? No one's excited about Biden. No one wakes up and is just like, yeah, fucking Biden. I can't wait for what.

If he wins, the world's going to change. I don't know anyone who's enthusiastic about Biden. But I haven't seen a poll he's lost. He's been winning nationally since he started. And every single poll and every news story is about who's in second, third and fourth place. First is the same. It's kind of like that rocket to success and the taper off thing that you saw with the Republicans the last election. And Democrats this time.

Yeah. And Democrats this time, definitely. But I just can't see a year from now. Well, less than a year from now, Biden's still doing that well like i think yeah i don't know i'm a broken record if democrats want to win they got to put bernie up nobody else is going to beat trump uh i i think everyone's going to beat trump i think trump has been getting his shit pushed in since he won right trump won a very close election where he won the electoral vote but not the popular. Since then, he got fucked in the midterms, right?

And Democrats won like the second or third biggest number of seats ever in terms of a change. Since then, Kentucky lost the governorship. Kentucky is a blue state now. That's fucking ridiculous. Virginia, for the first time in some crazy number, like 40 years, 60 years, is Democrat on the governorship the house and the Senate all at the same time they

own everything and there's another state I think it's Missouri that has a Democratic governor maybe is Louisiana yeah that sounds right it's not Missouri okay then Louisiana which is typically a red state went blue. And then like, he just been getting his shit pushed in, in every election since his. And every time there's a poll with a few, almost every time there's a poll, like every single Democrat beats him.

And it's just a question of what the margin is by how much they beat him by. Really? Yeah. What is it? The big polling organization. I'm a fucking retard for not knowing. Interpol. No, not Interpol. He tried to slip one in. is it the big polling organization i'm a fucking retard for not knowing um the inner pole no not inner pole he tried to slip one in but there was one i saw that that bernie was doing very very

well like when stacked up it was just like the democrat kind of poll where it was like dem versus dem denvers dem and i saw that bernie was doing really well. But I could be wrong. I don't follow it. I think every Democrat is going to be a huge favorite this time around. But I also think that in terms of the presidential, not the Democratic one, but this isn't even preseason yet. You know, like if this were football or hockey, not only has the season not started, the preseason hasn't started yet. So it's early to make predictions. Yeah. I'm hoping they pick Biden. Can you imagine him in a debate?

I don't think he's – I saw him in the debate. Like last time we talked, we were looking at Biden pretend about the kids stuttering and stuff. Right? Right? And then we talk about Trump like he has the – what is it? A comedian's timing, right? He's better off the cuff. So like here's Donald Trump talking in his last rally. I never understood the wind, you know, windmills very much. I've studied it better than anyone. I know it's expensive. I know

they're made in China and Germany, Germany, mostly very few made here, almost none, but they're manufactured tremendous. If you're into this tremendous fumes and gases are spewing into the atmosphere. This is windmills, mind you. We know we have a world, right? So the world is tiny compared to the universe. So tremendous. Tremendous amounts of fumes and everything. You talk about the carbon footprint? Fumes are spewing into the air. Right. Spewing. Whether it's China or Germany is going into the air right spewing whether it's china or germany is going into the air trump is more vulnerable to this kind of like cherry picking word salad craziness than even joe biden is joe biden's held to a higher standard than trump is trump's voters just voted for him and made him the president united states it's not like he was shakespeare during on the campaign trail

joe biden however has spent 12 years, or he hasn't campaigned in, what, eight, 12 years, something like that? And he's making himself look terrible. He's supposed to be the professional politician running against the clown, but the clown won this last time, and the professional is starting to look like

he's got Alzheimer's. In a debate style structure, it doesn't need to be like a cohesive response to a given question. He can do what he did against Hillary, which is let her start to respond. And the second she goes into kind of a space that's unpopular with more populist Democrats or something like that, he'll snipe and say something to try and throw her off her game throw a little salt in her game so to speak and he's much better at that and joe biden will get flustered way faster than hillary will because say what you will about hillary but she is better at this than joe biden joe biden will get mad he will literally get we saw how he got literally mad at a voter he did that time yeah you don't think trump can pull those same strings and make him get red-faced and maybe even threaten him and and and trump's gonna say

something he'll be quick with it he'll be ready and they say my temperament's bad they didn't trust me with the button look at this guy look at how red-faced he is i don't know the color over there it'll be the color i just don't know that trump is this like silver-tongued guys right some people look at everything trump does and call it 3d chess there's montages other people see it and say this is hungry hungry hippos you know it's not 3d chess he says retarded shit all the time but he does have a core competency which comes from a history in media and being in front of a camera and so he's much more comfortable going off script and that to the general population seems more endearing when someone says something that's a one-liner instead of a well the thing

about afghanistan is that we need to do this and that and the other thing and this and thank you for the question like that kind of shit like we'll see i don't think any of these people running for president with the possible i was going to say buddha judge is the exception but even he's pretty polished all of them do a good job being interviewed and being on camera and handling things like debates none of these guys are easily flustered and cracked like we make them out to be the worst of them is biden though like i don't think anybody thought that jeb bush jeb bush had been in politics his entire life nobody would have thought that he's easily flustered until he went against somebody who like hits the below the belt and acts like it's literally a playground argument. Trump is juvenile. He's nasty. These are men in positions

of power. Nobody's said anything like... Somebody might have said, you're a flip-flopper to them before, but they wouldn't even say it to their face. You never saw them say that to another politician's face. They might infer it a little bit, or their campaign might say it or it might be an ad but at no point during um when when um bush was running against was it john kerry with the swift boat thing he didn't come out and just call him a coward or a lily lily livered like that's the game like yellow if trump were running against john kerry he'd call him a coward even though it's the pot calling the kettle black and even though john kerry wasn't a coward none of it would matter yeah it's all about optics and perception and so something about

social media yeah vote for who they think is the coolest like social media should provide instantaneous fact checking and we're like nope mr trump you are a liar and the crowd goes wild right that's what you think would happen that's what i thought it's gonna but instead everybody's like zinger and they play that meme where all the black guys go Yeah, yeah. See, like, most people are going to vote who they think is cooler. Nobody was looking at John McCain versus Obama and was like, yeah, McCain is cooler. You might be right. We'll see.

So I saw a poll. It was talking about the number of people that are fixed in their position, right? And something like 34% of America, which sounded right to me, were definitely going to vote for Trump. And something like 46% of America was definitely going to vote against Trump, whoever they put up. And I'm like, man, Trump has to run the table to beat that 46%. But I mean, look at polls this far before the last election and how did those hold up? That's what I was trying to say with the whole preseason thing. It's not even preseason yet. That's true but how are your basketball teams doing i know you've been following that more how are the 76ers this is great i'm sure everyone's like oh

we went from politics to basketball yeah but the things were incredibly knowledgeable the sixers had a three-game losing streak which is bad for them because they're supposed to be one of the biggest teams. But they just played their biggest rival, the Milwaukee Bucks, and fucking smashed them on Christmas Day. And our top player, Joel Embiid, Embiid, something, Embiid, I think. Oh, the unibrow guy. No, that's Anthony Davis, and he plays for the Lakers.

But I'm glad you know him. Anyway, he had a really great game, and he shut down the guy on the other team who's like reigning MVP. And it's just like, yeah, bitch, that's what happens when it's game day. Sure, he takes games off. He's load managing himself against the Wizards and the Pistons and what have you. But when it comes time to play the kind of games that we'll get in the playoffs, kicking ass and taking names.

I was about to say we because i was a big part of that win you know being basketball just just as important as that the philadelphia flyers four game winning streak they have surged past the pittsburgh penguins for third in the metro division so i'm happy for them i i like that you have a couple teams so that if the blues do suck i'm like all right well i'm philly now. I'm Carolina now. That's who I'm going for. They're in a different conference, so I don't fucking care. We play them twice a year, and we usually win, so it's okay.

The Eagles, our NFL team, are. They just beat the Dallas Cowboys, and it was kind of like a playoff game almost. Whoever wins this is likely to get to the playoffs. And both teams are easily the worst team in the NFL that would make the playoffs. So we're fighting for the right to get our ass kicked in the first round of the playoffs.

And I think we got it. Good. Yeah. How are the Falcons? Are the Falcons good or are they not good? Falcons had one of their worst seasons in a decade. Ah, never mind. One of their best draft picks in the last decade that's the way to spin it you know uh it was so funny i was listening to like the falcons um radio show i don't know what else to call it you know

it's these guys job to be jazzed about the falcons okay they're like well you know yeah you had the this game you know if you play both both halves you know that's a win and then you got this game over here you were then three and then if if julio doesn't get hurt on this game we could have easily been had an added nine wins this year you know every single statement yeah yeah it's like if every fucking coin flip went our way all year long we could have won nine out of 16 games boys man that would have been something wouldn't it i don't know how many they won i'm gonna guess it's four or five it went poorly that um nc state the football team had a year there they won every i think they went 12 and two they came back again and again down

the stretch they call them the heart attack pack philip rivers was the quarterback he's done well in the nfl yeah and uh it was just like oh this is what happens when every close call goes your way what's the falcons record six and nine that could be worse though we are not a six and nine franchise this is not one of those teams that doesn't have like a not a good quarterback or good players. Matt Ryan is like the 3rd or 4th highest paid quarterback in the league. I don't remember if it was $25 million or $35 million. Did you guys lose the Super Bowl like 2 years ago? How long ago was that? 3. That didn't happen. Is it 3? Yeah, I think you're right. The Cincinnati Bengals

are 1 and 14. That is not great, Cincinnati folk. What is Cleveland? Cleveland is six and nine. Ah, that's a rough... It's rough when an up year is six and nine. Like, ah, Cleveland turning it around. Best year in a decade.

After the Rams left, all my friends are Kansas City fans, and apparently Kansas City's pretty good. They made the play. I don't give a fuck. I don't care. I'm just waiting for hockey to come back tomorrow, I think. Did it ever leave? Well, there's a Christmas break,

so they take four days off. When's the All-Star game? All-Star game is mid-January,uary it's mid january and it's in st louis and so i might get tickets and go check out the skills competition day if it's not too expensive which skill competition would you want to watch the most i'm really hoping that they pick colton pareko our big big boy defenseman to make the all-star game because i think he can finally dethrone

shea weber and the hardest shot competition because you know shea weber there are literally this guy's six four he's been in the league forever he's like 33 34 which in nhl years is forever and he it's there are compilations on youtube you can find it's just called like shea weber injuring opponents with slap shot. Because they teach defensemen and forwards to try and block the shot. And he'll like catch someone in the leg. And they're just crippled. Somebody broke my foot with a shot once.

Yeah, like this kind of shit from Shea Weber. And Colton Pareko, he's a bigger boy than Shea Weber. He's like 6'6", a little over that maybe. And he's only like 25, I think. And he's just, he's one of the few players in the league that if you're a certain strength and certain height, you can be like, Hey league, regular sticks don't fit my hands and they don't flex enough. Can I qualify for the larger sticks? And Zdeno Chara,

who's six foot nine from fucking some eastern European country he qualified for it and Pareko did too to the point that we lost out on a goal once because uh Tarasenko I think broke his stick and Pareko had dropped his stick and Tarasenko picked up Pareko's stick but it is illegal for anyone but Colton Pareko to use that stick. So he touched the puck, and this eagle-eyed ref was like, Dude, two minutes, you played with the wrong stick. He's like, I don't even understand what you're saying right now. What do you mean I'm not playing with the right stick?

And so, yeah, I'm thinking. For people that don't know, it usually goes the other way. You give your stick to a defenseman. It was because Colton Perego had dropped his stick during a change or something similar. Oh, during a change. If the goalie's stick is somehow out of play, you give him your stick.

He's the first choice. If a defenseman loses his stick, an offensive might hand it over. That's like there's a hierarchy to this thing. It was weird to me that Tarasenko got someone else's stick. He's a center, right? He's a there's a hierarchy to this thing so it was weird to me that tarasenko got someone else's stick he's a center right that's all right he's a he's a right winger but he made the mistake of picking up the stick that was too big and some fucking the only autistic ref in the league was like i know i know that role nobody else would have known but anyway that's

enough enough sports kylie just linked to vid what do we got here, bud? This is pretty good stuff. I mean, if you just look at the lady's face, you can tell we're dealing with a class four psychopath. She's got crazy white lady face. Yes. Yes. This lady is upset. It seems to me that the lady in front of her will not move. It appears to be one of those scenarios where they say, please drive forward'll bring it out to you this person is pulled forward this lady doesn't

feel like this person has pulled forward far enough and she has gone at the lady who's parked in front of her hey get the fuck out of my way and the lady will not roll her window down or engage and she and now the lady crazy eyes we'll call her from now on is saying that she feels Now the lady, crazy eyes, we'll call her from now on, is saying that she feels unsafe. I'm ready. Hit and run a McDonald's in Sacramento. Are you also ready, Kyle? You're going to want to turn your volume down to a pretty low level.

Okay. All right. Three, two, one, play. If you fuck around my car, I'm going to hand him? And you. And you. Ram you. So you can either, one, move the fuck out of the way. Or I'm going to ram your car.

Right now, you're being the aggressor. Ma'am. Ma'am. I'm letting you know. You need to stop harassing our customers. Hey. Go back in your car. I don't feel safe.

I don't feel safe. You can go around. Don't harass them. They're not doing anything to you. I don't feel safe to go around. I'm letting you know. Have you been drinking? She's drunk.

You certainly sound like you're high. So I'm letting you know. Don't harass them. I don't feel safe. And I'm not going around. I'm not going around. I'm letting you know. That I don't feel safe to go around. Stop it right now.

She's like, oh, the man might hurt me. I'll stop. She reacted immediately to that man's grump voice. She's like, all right, sorry. Went too far. I got your license number. I work at DMV. You're going to get in a fight.

Oh, shit. We got a DMV employee here! We got a federal employee! Go for it! Go for it! It's like a lawyer being like, I am an officer of the court. Yeah, you're a tax attorney. They come, and they're blocking my way out of here. You told them I could not get out of here without them going. So this is going to be amazing.

Oh my god, I hope she rams her. I hope so too. Man, she's got some real neck. You're about to get a Shyamalan twist. This should be on Bless the Cameraman, by the way. Please ram him. Please ram him. Please back up and ram him.

Yeah, back up and ram him. I say she's thin she's reporting her to the police right now describing her uh it doesn't look like she has hot tools doesn't have she's what was that word she's getting some video evidence with her phone the the crazy lady is. So much room. This is one of those people who cannot parallel park, even if there's four spaces. Lacked! There's so much space! Like, look how wide it is! Oh, good.

Praise the cameraman. She can't go around that car, she's claiming. She's claiming she can't go around that car in front of her. Watch this shit. Watch this shit. Do it. Please ram that key of soul. Oh, she's backing up?

Oh! Oh! Woman driver! Hit run! Hit run! 6VVH469! I didn't see that. She's here, back that car! She's here, back that car! She's here, back that car!9 i didn't see that car she hit the wrong car she hit the wrong car she wasn't

even mad at that car his nugs now his evening is ruined the car behind her did nothing the car in front of her did nothing okay they seem to be waiting there like you know this is where they tell us to pull while while they're bringing out my you know quarter pounder with cheese i wonder what the car in front of like they were yelling she was yelling at that driver the car in front of her i'm trying to come up with a low percentage responsible right he at least stood his ground he could have been like look i could see you're upset what do you need four feet five feet like what let me work with you here if he really wanted to avoid conflict he could have the car behind her wasn't even involved in the situation yeah but i also don't put any blame on the car in front like i it's she had a an energy about her that was

aggressive like coming up looking to start shit like it seemed like the people in the car in front like i it's she had a an energy about her that was aggressive like coming up looking to start shit like it seemed like the people in the car in front just kind of wanted to sit there and wait as you do at mcdonald's when they need to bring you your food that was crazy that was a scary woman i don't know how to describe the like car in front blame obviously the car in front did nothing wrong on the other hand even if you did nothing wrong if i come up to you and say like hey man i can't get around you i'm obviously insane i might be hired drunk you know you're gonna stay in your ground while i'm freaking out irrational that's obviously all my fault i'm the idiot but there's some element of like you know

fuck off i'm in the right that the car in front did. That's a crazy lady. And they're out there walking around everywhere. Driving. That's in Sacramento, by the way. Yeah, if she was just walking this, it'd all be okay. Can you imagine living with that nightmare of a human being? You think she's not single?

That bitch is insufferable. Well, I mean, she's insufferable, but low-grade fuckable, well i mean she's insufferable but low-grade fuckable right maybe she's got a nice yeah she's kind of cute yeah she's kind of cute she's got like a rachel maddow conti kind of thing going on tell me that insanity doesn't manifest itself in some sort of good lay maybe maybe she just gets mad at you about fast food related look this is a passionate woman taylor fast food passionate women have a good lace oh that's entirely possible yeah i'm that woman's sick in the head yeah that bitch sucks that's why she's good at bed, Taylor. Now we're lining up.

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game now professional mascots i mean they're kind of a big deal like if you're if you're the bull at the chicago bulls game or something i in my opinion kind of a big deal. If you're the bull at the Chicago Bulls game or something, in my opinion, that's a good gig. I bet you get season tickets and you might even get some leftover player pussy. I like the freeze. Sure. Any professional

mascot, I think is a good gig. However, this guy, shit tier mascot duty. That's right. High school basketball mascot. Not even his regular gig. They asked this guy to, hey, pressured him, rather. Get in the chicken suit.

Make the school proud. Things went awry. Their mascot is the chicken? He didn't make the school proud of their chicken? I gotta see. I'm gonna be laughing when this is over. Are you guys ready? The Westview Cox.

Is there audio? This is a straight up... This is an inside edition clip. Is this broadcast TV we're watching? Pretty much. Can we watch it off the show with just the audio? Let me just tell you all what happened. I think the backwards of what we could do.

I think the audio is the easier thing to catch. Well, I could just tell you what happened. I think the backwards of what we could do. I think the audio is the easier thing to catch. Well, I could just tell you what happened. I'm going to watch it on my own. Yeah, I want to see it too. Oh, so here, let's tell the people if they want to see it, it would be Chicken Mascot reveals struggles after pet rally accident

left him brain damaged. So what happens to this guy? Well, now he was dressed up as a chicken. Are you to tell me this brain damage happened pre... During the cloacal kiss, he was not conscious. Now we all, learned gentlemen of the court, we know the chickens don't fuck. It's in the opening seconds.

Like, three, two, one, play. They just pile on? It's in the opening seconds. Like, three, two, one, play. They just pile on? Is that? Oh, no, they keep piling on. Now, are they, they like the chicken? No. They're angry at the chicken. They hate the chicken.

Okay, because I thought that was the sort of just scored a touchdown pile-on that I was watching there. No? No, I think this is the rival team giving him a whomping. Oh, he's a little beat up. Oh, he's a little beat up. Oh, so he, all right.

So what it is is, it looks like this was his high school, maybe. He had everything going for him at the time of the 2010 incident in which his classmates pounced on him while he was dressed as their rival team's mascot. Oh, shit. He had dreamed of becoming a doctor, but now he struggles just to read,

and he's failed 40 college classes. Good God. Dude, this is sad. This is like when my lawyer was like, now you're going to want to go to some soup kitchens? That'll look real good in court. They were like, all right, now you're going to want to fail a lot of courses. All right, David?

Right. Everything, everything you're going to want to fail a lot of courses. All right, Taylor? Right. Everything, everything you take, zeros. Just tell me you can't read. $10 million settlement for this young man. He might have earned it. Oh, he earned it. He definitely did. Dude, that poor guy.

I wouldn't trade my brain for $10 million. Would you trade the ability to fucking read for $10 million, Taylor? That actually a good one well there's audiobooks i love reading yeah i love reading and i like knowing i'm pretty good at it yep that's my exit you can't read life is a real uphill struggle you know what also sucks working all the time tay, how much of your time do you spend earning money? I mean, a lot of it. A lot of it. He earns money all the time. But see, I would much rather be able to fund what I read.

Thanks, Kyle. Read something. This is Daryl. You could hire Kyle as your reader. You know, like I'm thinking of the time Notch needed a fund coordinator, right? Kyle could do that. He reads shit for me. I'm lying to you.

I'm reading the tax. Says you owe him $400,000. Just make the check out to me, apparently. Yeah, yeah. Here, I'll hold your hand. It sounds right to me, Mr. Kyle. Not bad for me, Kyle. I have many monies.

You're the best. Dude, this guy, that's a shithand to be dealt. That's a shithand to be dealt, for sure. Poor guy. Also, $10 million takes away a lot of pain. There's a fan of the show. He came to the Hangouts for a while.

He traded an arm for enough money in which he might never need to work again. And I feel like he thought it was a good trade. I'd rather be retarded than not have use of my arm. Let us know, Gun Surgeon. Would you rather have your arm back than that? I think his settlement was like

$200,000, Woody. Oh, I thought it was seven digits. I don't even think it was $200,000. I think he got like 175K. Well, also, Gun Surgeon is clearly a very smart guy. He wasn't having trouble making money. I don't know his personal life. Yeah, I don't know what his career was.

Let's say he was an HVAC repairman. I assume everyone in our hangouts is successful. Let's say he was an HVAC repairman prior to the injury. Then that's hard to do one-handed. But if he was an accountant, then it's not. So I don't know. Ooh, ouch.

Ooh, double ouch. Well, alright. But anyway, yeah, this poor chicken guy, that fucking sucks. Triple ouch. Triple ouch. Oh, Jesus. Well, all right.

Opinions change. Well, we won't share all his personal details, but... It's very rough. Tricky hand. Good luck! Yeah, yeah. Good luck. Yeah.

Yeah, no, I would not trade my arm. We play a lot of games together. How is he at gaming? Because he doesn't have full usage. He's a lot better than you would think for a guy with my arm. We play a lot of games together. How is he at gaming? Because he doesn't have full usage. He's a lot better than you would think for a guy with one arm. Yeah? Yeah. I've been playing COD a bunch.

I'm level 115, if that means anything to the COD players. It's a measure of time in game. And I'm not at my peak. At my peak, I was better than I am right now. But I'm useful. If we lose a game, I usually think, six of me might have won this. I was an assistant to the team.

But also not necessarily I was the best on this team. We could have done better. I'm getting better. That's all. I'm liking it. I might switch games. They're changing COD a lot, which I appreciate. If you go back to Modern Warfare 2,

it was kind of the same thing. Then every three months or so, they'd change it. It feels like they're adding a map or a weapon or a game type all the time. Or if not, a map change will be like a like shoot house was one of the most active maps they're like shoot house 24 by 7 now they have something called shoot the ship where it's just shipment and shoot house again and again and again a lot of better players gravitate towards that one and also you not only is there a ton of

activity in it but you get double weapon xp double weapon xp in it so if you want to try a new gun and rank it up and see you know like maybe get your favorite configuration of it you can find 50 gunfights on a typical shipment not even 50 gunfights probably 100 gunfights and maybe 50 or 60 kills

rank up your weapon in a hurry and see if you like that one and then just move on to something else for the first year I've played COD I truly don't worry about my KD. I didn't even know what it was.

It was higher than I thought it was, but not good. Like 0.7 something high maybe. But yeah, I can just go into shipment, get a bunch of kills with the shitty weapon, see if I like it, and put on another one. Yeah, I'm liking COD-ish,

but Halo's calling me. What's the name of the new Halo again? It's Reach, so it's a remake of an old Halo. What are you smiling at, Kyle? Midgets fighting? I'm pre-watching it to see if this is something we want to... I mean, it's a pretty good message. Then stop there and throw it in the chat.

Yeah, you're making me want to see it. Midgets ganging up on a non-midget? Are they fighting each other? The title of this is They Had a Little Misunderstanding. Alright, I am ready. I'm ready to watch these films. This is the rarest midget.

The elusive black midget. Now what we have here is the elusive black midget. These three have congregated together in numbers almost unheard of to medical science. It's odd because they usually travel south for winter. Yes. Midgets travel south. Yeah, I'm ready. Ready, set, play. Everyone's so happy They're all midgets What Here comes daddy Oh man Prime rules Stop. Quit playing. Damn. That's enough. Here comes daddy. Oh, man. Oh.

Quit playing. Pride rules. J.B. Pride rules means it's okay to kick an opponent on the ground, and Kyle's right. Dude, that 32-inch TV they have, that's huge for them. That's theater-style. God damn, we in the IMAX The guy that lost the fight

In my opinion won the eye test Like if I were to pick him out I think he was a little Smaller maybe But he was like Let's take another Peek at this They both had dwarf style bodies

Where they got the normal-sized big head. Yeah, top-heavy. I feel like a headbutt from this little fucker would be lethal. Absolutely. He could take her kneecap right out. Yeah. Pop you right in the thigh,

give you a nasty charley horse. The loser just has bad balance. It takes nothing. He threw him over, he fell down, hit his head on the wall. Then they grapple again, and all of a sudden, he's falling on the couch. He threw him over. He fell down, hit his head on the wall. Then they grapple again. And all of a sudden he's fallen on the couch.

Like balance is a thing. It's almost like a guy with the lower center of gravity lost. Yeah. That pride rules. Now that I watched the pride rules kick twice, I'm going to fast forward it to the fans. It's no big deal. Oh,

these guys are, I didn't think it through, but dwarfs are terrible at kicking. Yeah. The most extreme thing that we saw here, I think, was his head hitting that cabinet over there and maybe a little bit of the Big Brother style dirty boxing or whatever you want to call it.

I don't know why the line, dwarfs are terrible at kicking. It's so funny. They're little shitty little kicks. What are they good at? Picking things up off the ground Sneaking I didn't sneak Getting free trips to Epstein's Highlands

Seeing underneath Well you're not a child Mid-rape Getting baking pans from the bottom cabinet So low A lot of things they're good at Being able to shop at Baby Gap Jesus Christ Getting baking pants from the bottom cabinet. They're so low. A lot of things they're good at. Being able to shop at Baby Gap.

Jesus Christ. I wonder if that's even true. Is that necessarily cheaper, though? If you've ever bought a little baby, actual nice clothes, they're expensive as fuck. I'm on the other side of that. I always thought they were kind of cheap. Yeah, I figured they would be cheaper. I might be shopping at nicer places than me,

but if you've got a two-year-old you're taking to a wedding... When I dress my bastard children that I do not speak of, I go only to the finest of a staff. It's like you're telling me this whole suit is like $26? Baby clothes are cheap as fuck.

Baby clothes are very cheap, Kyle. They're called diapers. I don't think I posted any pictures. I think I talked about it on PKM, but I haven't posted any pictures on Twitter yet of the onesies that my girlfriend put the dogs in so that they wouldn't itch their nutsacks. And apparently those onesies were like 10 bucks a pop, so that's pretty cheap.

Dude, baby clothes are so cheap. We buy diapers now right because we watch uh fuck george foreman and uh um my wife i was like how much are we spending on diapers and we worked it out so we had george foreman like 40 hours a week maybe and uh it worked out to like six dollars in some sense a week we spend on diapers oh geez that's yeah less than i would have assumed people act like diaper now you know granted whoever has them i just caught on that you call that baby george foreman still yeah um good bit you roll with it so uh man if you really

want to have some fun you gotta find an actual black baby to pose for a picture with oh damn it this should have been a private conversation because that would be the funniest bit you and hope and a black baby oh no everybody dresses up like it's christmas that's funny but i tried to bring up poor hope in this she didn't ask for it i apologize it's cool yeah but um uh anyway people act like diapers are really expensive and I think what it is is diapers are just a proxy for every

cost included in babies. Yeah. Babies aren't that much. Healthy babies are not that expensive. Kids get to be more expensive. I would imagine so. Man, I hope if I have boys in the future, they are nothing like me as a kid but it's gonna be poetic justice if they are and they're just like starting fires and breaking

things and did you used to start a lot of fires i used to start fires all the time i really i was gonna be in hyperbolic i really didn't start any fires i liked there i went through a phase where i liked uh burning things with a magnifying glass during summer. I thought that was fun. Burning fires was like a hobby of mine almost. I started fire. We used to, after school, I still love campfires.

And we would just go out in the woods by this recycling center and start fires with the shit I learned in Boy Scouts. You've got a big nice fire pit out there don't you yeah at this house we do yeah do you use it pretty often because that's one of those like outdoor things it's pretty low maintenance but i feel like when you have company over like it's always great to have a nice fire roaring it is nice we should use it more i use it

all the time for like you know hypothetically burning boxes and shit like that because we get so many. But in terms of sitting around it, really only when I do that. And that's not that I... Colin and I were sitting by the fire just a week ago. But in terms of long, slow, all night long by the wooden fire, not so much. But it is nice.

Oh, for sure. Yeah. How's... fire like not so much okay but it is nice oh for sure yeah how's uh i don't think i gave you the the credit that was due for this on pkn i saw the title of your post ban stream name and that was that is fucking choice that is so funny that's a real good one yeah so i got banned for saying uh what is it keep laughing you fucking maggots slur yeah yeah f slur so uh i got unbanned you flipping maggot or something was my post yeah it's my return to streaming instantly rebanned i was worried i think it's funny i was afraid they wouldn't think it was funny but i guess no one cared or watched or one of those i thought that they were more cool with like your your stream names and i made one that was like time to suck today's dick and everyone

was saying like oh terms of service terms of service and it's like i'm pretty sure you guys are just memeing like nobody's gotten mad at me so far it seems pretty fine or nobody keep that one or change it right away no kept it i didn't know how to change the title so i have a hard time telling what gets me banned like when did we put pka on twitch would you call that two years ago that feels so long ago i don't know i think it was even longer than that okay and so let's call it three or three and a half years ago is it a whole different world since then? Because not only did they not ban PKA, they promoted it on the homepage.

And to Tucker's surprise, he was like, I can't believe they did that. Everyone expected us to get banned because of the nature of the show. We could roll the dice again. Put it on Twitch. Hi, this isn't Woody's Gamertag, and this isn't Taylor Merka. These are other people streaming on Kyle's channel.

Right, this is just Woody and Taylor, not to be confused. With those other people. Yeah, so I thought, like, everyone's wrong. You know, Twitch rolls with it a little more than they say they do. And then I got banned for saying that, so not everyone's wrong you know twitch rolls with it a little more than they say they do and then i got banned for saying that so not everyone's wrong yeah yeah they're definitely a little more i need a few more bands to figure out where the edges are right i'm like a blind

guy stumbling around and i found one cliff but that doesn't tell me the whole landscape it just tells you one place that you shouldn't walk on yeah yeah so i won't say the f slur but there's a whole lot of things we got to try out now that you got banned before me like i almost want to be extra careful and keep my streak going oh i don't i don't accept that i was banned before you because i started six weeks prior you need to go at least four more weeks to beat my streak that's insurmountable well i mean that's the thing with like on youtube at least i feel like you can say most of the jokes you want but like you'll think about some stuff on twitch and be like oh no can't can't can't say

that joke which kind of sucks but you know you gotta play the hand that's dealt yeah i was after so when i stream games it tends although that's what i got banned for it tends not to be too naughty but then afterwards sometimes i'll do just chatting for an hour or two and uh it's not hard to get me going you know like they ask for sex advice or something i'm like fuck yeah here's what you need to know uh put your finger in a pooper or whatever and i'm like just chatting is what's going to get me banned that for sure for sure i don't like that you can get banned for your chats behavior i don't think that's fair what am i am i my brother's keeper i am not so that that part really sucks and like people always say like

oh dude your chat is unbelievably toxic it's like no it's not it's people ribbing they're riffing they're making jokes they're having fun like i went through a transformation on that uh around the time ice poseidon was on the show he was like they're just memes and i'm like you know what that's right a lot of these things that would hurt my feelings like weren't even said with lots of hate and uh so that helped me turn around yeah i mean i like someone like donate me give me like 20 and be like you're a fat-headed cunt and it's like all right well thank you thank you for the 20 my streams aren't making like i had a stream and i think i was like four hours into it and they they're like, how do you like streaming? I'm like, well, financially, it's pretty much failure. I've made $17 so far.

And then after I said that, it went up. I can see why Wings complains about money constantly. Because it's profitable. It went from $17 to $40. Woof, woof. Yeah, yeah. As long as I get Big Dick Nick in the chat, I know it's going to be a lucrative night.

Yeah? That guy. Dropping $500 donos on the reg. Jesus Christ. long as i get big dick nick in the chat i know it's gonna be a lucrative night yeah that guy dropping 500 donos on the reg jesus christ yeah that guy like it's almost frustrating where it's like i want to have enough money to give money to idiots on twitch like this like you must be like that just must be a forgettable amount of money for you where you're like oh 500 man have you man have you seen that guy talk about what a billionaire is yes yeah uh is it that the one where they have an excel sheet or something or yeah notepad and it shows all the lines of it and he'll delete like a full 100 million or something and then scroll back down and be like where did i delete it from

i want to like can't even find it do it on this show even though it's totally like just stolen concept but yeah he writes a hundred thousand and then he writes a billion next to each other and you can see it it's more zeros but they almost look like they're in the same family and when people how are you looking to get in no okay so um they write a hundred thousand they write a And almost like, they're both lots of money. You think of them as a lot. And then he like writes 100,000 10 times on a line. And that's a million. And you say like, all right.

And then he has to do a million again and again and again. And by the time you see how many 100,000s are in a billion, and then he like takes one away from what would be i'm gonna make it up like 29 printed pages of hundred thousands with one missing you're like wow that a hundred thousand is a truly trivial amount one that you wouldn't notice had come or gone to a billionaire you know even a millionaire like that's a line of these, right? And what are there, 1,000 lines of 100,000, right? So he goes from 1,000 lines to 999 lines worth of, that doesn't seem right.

No, it is. Is it right? It's in calculus. 100 to 99, yeah. Is it 100 to 99? Okay. So a whole line of, and now there's 99 lines. And it's like outrageous.

Are you sure it's 100? Because that's just two zeros maybe i'm wrong a hundred groups of a hundred thousand is is 10 million right who would know so 10 groups of 100 000 would be a million ah this is embarrassing yeah he saw this coming what you're just watching you said i thought it would be fun to do the same thing, but do it with amounts of money that we actually possess and compare it to really poor people in foreign countries. Like, we would work for, like, whatever, 30 rupees a day.

All right, so this is $10,000. I mean, I could take it or leave it. I forgot I had this $10,000. Now, this is what it would be like in rupees. It's 80 million rupees. Jamil here works 30 days for 400 rupees. Now. But just, you know, denigrate an entire culture at the same time.

That's the goal. That's funny. That's the PKA way. But, yeah, I did his little presentation. little presentation i did it for like my wife or daughter or something it was like it is outrageous how much a billion is you know you no one thinks millionaire and billionaire are the same but they think of both of them as rich no millionaires aren't shit compared to different leagues yeah and uh it's eye-opening i've been told so many times that like you can't even comprehend how much a billion is or a trillion for that matter. And thought, no, I totally can. I know

all my numbers. I can order them. But then when I see some of these demonstrations, it's eye-opening for the difference. That's pretty cool. That's like when you see, I think I follow some bot on Twitter that's like US National Debt Calculator. some bot on twitter that's like u.s national debt calculator and like once a day it'll like tweet we owe 22 trillion so many billions so many millions so many you know all that and it's like i always think i'm like but there's no way to pay this off right like? It's hopeless. Are there even $21 trillion in the world, or in the US? Is our economy even that large?

Yeah. Isn't our GDP something comparable? GDP? What's that even mean? The gross domestic product? Don't we make $4 trillion a year or something like that? It seems like if we buckle down, we pay that bitch off in a couple decades. So the GDP, this is 2017, but whatevs, is about $19 trillion.

I got this in a year or two. Come on, buckle. Tighten those belts. If you just don't spend anything. What we have to do is every single person has to pour every cent they have into this and then we're a mere three trillion away i i if the democrats do somehow take power then the republicans will go back to being deficit hawks and that might be good for america we need to conquer someone suck where they're like the only

people who ever care about finances and the deficit are the people who aren't in power and then the second they're in power they're like fucking gangbusters let's go let's go what the military that every single soldier doesn't have four rifles like let's do it pour them out there bitch dude the wasted money is the thing like when i was a kid wasted money was always a big story always heard about some six hundred dollar hammer thousand dollar1,000 ashtray. You hear about it all the time. It doesn't seem to be a story now. Now, if you were to say, like, can you believe the Army's paying $700 for a hammer? They'd come back and be like, what, do you hate the troops?

And there's no amount of money. What are you, a Muslim? Someone in my universe was in the Army and they had to get rid of all their ammo. they don't spend all the like ammo they use and they get the lower budget for the next year and they had to fire it so the first thing they do is they start loading it into guns and just like not even aiming like holding

the trigger waiting for it to go and shooting all these rounds it didn't take them long at all to be like this is actually impossible like you gotta burn the ammo yeah like these the ammo doesn't even come out of the gun fast enough to shoot at all so they're ruining so many guns and it's bad for the guns and it's not like the army was getting training out of it right that's why they have so much ammo so that they can become better marksmen that's not the case you can't like it they can't even shoot it this fast let alone aim it so they get skid steers and they bury the ammo to get rid of the ammo so that next year their budget wouldn't go down that kind of stuff is like outrageously bad and uh it's i think it's pretty normal too there's a lot of saving that can be done that doesn't have to be

anti-troop and we can do some cuts but no one's gonna do it i mean how many how many fake legs do they need right you get yeah right they always want those fancy blade legs and stuff whatever happened to those peg legs you saw in the cartoons? I don't know why they need reconstructive surgery. I thought that guy in that Atlantic City mobster movie looked fine. He looked masculine. He looked thick, tight. He'd be updated on his progress.

Like a roasted hot dog. He looked very taut. Like a Hebrew national. Some of the highest quality of hot dogs. Those are good hot dog. He looked very taut all the way around. Like a Hebrew national. Yes. Little shrivel. Some of the highest quality of hot dogs. Those are good hot dogs. The only one that beats them out are the Nathans.

We were talking about things that are good with cream cheese on them earlier. That's when we were in Seattle. Hot dogs with cream cheese? You're eating hot dogs with cream cheese? What the fuck, dude? One of my best Blade, only use me Blade memories, is when me, him, and White Boy were walking up a hill. That's right.

There was a time where he could walk. And we going up the hill up a hill no less up a hill and it was a serious hill at seattle there's a lot i tell you it was a hundred yards if it was a foot we've been walking for half an hour we were very drunk uh-huh and no i was there i remember that's where i slid into that giant ice rink. That was Boston. Oh, I thought we were talking about Boston. My bad. Yeah, and I think we were on a mission to save White Boy because he had been keeping up with me and Blade. He's a different weight class. Totally different weight class, yeah.

Blade's a fucking heavyweight champ, and I'm a middleweight champ, and White Boy, he's a featherweight at best when it comes to putting that Jaeger away. And that's what we've been drinking. We've been drinking Jaeger bombs all night and we just started walking to blades car. And I believe the plan was for him to drive us somewhere. Alcohol makes you think certain things are good ideas when they're not. He drove a Cadillac.

I figured we'll be fine. It's a big automobile. It's really the pedestrian that's in trouble. I wouldn't want to be in front of him while he's driving it. But in any case, we're walking and we've been walking for a long time. We're getting a little tired. There's a hot dog stand right there

next to us on the sidewalk. I'm thinking I could really use some Gatorade. Blade's like, three? Three? Yeah. Fucking ordering three cream cheese dogs. He's always been a baller. Three cream cheese dogs? For all of us. He ordered us all a hot dog.

And like, I eat like half mine. And I'm like, it's really good, Blade, but I just feel kind of sick. White Boy's like, I can't do it. Blade eats all three hot dogs and continues uphill with White Boy on his back. Like piggyback style. And I'm following him. And after a while, I'm just like,

Kitty, I'm with Blade and White Boy. Yeah, cream cheese. And we're lost. I need help. And a car pulled up, like found us on the side of the road and they're like, come on. And I get in the car with her

and like some other responsible adults and I was whisked away. I don't know if white boy came with me or not. I was very drunk, but he made it to his car and back to the hotel. Probably didn't drive. He probably pushed it back safely. Oh, he drove. He definitely drove. There was blood all over the grill.

Someone poured paint all over the front of my car. Not again. Was the cream cheese... Somebody pours pig blood on my grill every night. Was the cream cheese put on top of the hot dog like it was butter? Or was it in the hot dog like some i don't know creation of food r and d let me find a picture of it i don't remember i just remember that i can't imagine and other toppings like there was more than just cream cheese i'm hoping it was like chili or mayo

or ketchup like a condiment okay so because i i pictured a little bit like stuffed cheese in the pizza. You put mayonnaise on top? It's a Seattle thing. Yeah, it's a Seattle thing. So, like, here's a Seattle hot dog recipe. The lightly toasted hot dog bun piled with a beefy hot. Slowly caramelized onions. Smoky cream cheese.

Jalapenos. And that's apparently a Seattle dog. Okay, that actually sounds pretty good when you add the other ingredients. The jalapenos, yeah. Yeah. And the caramelized onions. A little spice, a little savory with the hot dog, a little sweet. It was fucking good.

The pictures I'm seeing, it's more cream cheese than I thought. I thought there'd be a hint of cream cheese. That is not the case. No, no. They're putting some cream cheese on that bad boy. They are. Yeah. I love hot dogs.

I love hot dogs, too. I'm thinking about making my own. I've got the device that'll... I've just got to get the thing with the uh intestine fill them up do it dude are you gonna do 100 beef as you should yeah i'm gonna grind my own beef like i like i do with hamburgers i hope he grows his own cow i am already in the process right yeah like like if that if you had if hot dogs were one of the outcomes of that cow, that'd be kind of neat. Like I had to do something with the asshole and the lips. Yeah, you still got like the cow's pussy lips and feet to work with after it's gone.

I wonder how they're going to dispatch my cow when it's time. Like will they use what, stent guns? Oh, that, I thought, I was thinking what they're going to do with the extra cow parts. Stent very still. Exactly. What is that. Sten very still. Exactly. What is that? Sten very still. That scene, like I was an adult already when I saw that movie.

And that scene, I was like, oh, oh, fuck. What was that? Oh, that was so quick. Oh, I would have probably fallen for that too. Fuck. Yeah. Why aren't you wearing a uniform? It's that very still, sir.

Yeah. You got a bowl cut. I don't trust you. He's like, how's the weather up there? Up your way. At what way is that? Dallas, I saw your tags. What business of it of yours where I'm coming from?

Well, I didn't mean nothing by it. It gets so much more intense every second. What do I stand to gain? Everything. Yeah. I need to figure out how to do his voice. I bet I could. My voice isn't deep enough to do it.

I'm looking up how they kill cows. And this is like looking up gun stats or something. Number one link was PETA. And I'm like, I don't know if I want to ask PETA how they kill cows. I'm not sure they're a reliable source, right? It's like asking Matt about drugs or something. So the next one is Modern Farmer. It is also an obviously biased site. I'm not saying it's

factually incorrect, just here's a really unhappy cow whose head is trapped in like a wall or something like that. We just hug them to death. And then they can't handle the love. So I didn't

read it all, but I guess they stun the cow and then hang it by its feet before the full killing. And they show the feet and how a cow is suspended after being stunned. I just don't know that this is the common case for how they take out a cow. Have you ever seen clips of how kosher slaughtering is done? No. Where for a cow to be certified kosher or whatever like they they can't stun it they can't give it like any painkiller things they will like the people in the slaughter

house will like string up the cow by its feet for the chain as it's still alive and being like and then someone just takes a sharp ass blade drags it across the neck and it's like gurgling and bleeding out all over its own face. It's pretty cool. I knew that was coming. Man, this Judaism thing winning me over. Yeah.

Yeah. Apparently the captive bolt pistol, which is what these devices are called, stuns the animal. It doesn't kill them. Here's a, here's, I'm, I'm going to have one of these. Yeah, halal, which is like how Muslims eat their food, and kosher, I think, are like pretty much the same in their approach.

Yeah, they'll continue to beat until the heart runs out of oxygen, and the heart eventually runs out of oxygen because captive bolt stunning stops breathing. Ah, however, if cessation of a heartbeat is used as a definition of death then the animal shot with a captive bolt will be alive for eight to ten minutes this provides sufficient time for death to be induced by a throat cut on the neck and still be considered halal ah so what they're saying here is that they can have their cake and eat it too basically they can stun the animal so it doesn't feel the throat cutting and bleeding out dude that's got to be the best job ever is being like a rabbi who gets hired where they're like hey we need you to come kosherize kosherize me captain like that kind of thing and then you show up at a plant

and you just do a little wizardry for free and they owe you thousands of dollars that is a great grift why is it so hard to kill a cow instantly right like that bolt you know that we've all seen the device from no country for old men i think it's called yeah and if that thing went out six inches wouldn't that cow just instant die i saw assume so i saw what i think was an iraqi get sniped in the head. And it left an impression on me how quickly he went from life to death. Like that guy dropped straight down in a crumple of jelly and bones. Like he just. I've shot cows in the head.

I think we watched that on the show. Is that the one where you can like see bone fragments coming out when the bullet hits? I'm not sure. I'm not sure. But he was standing in a street, if I recall, and he just, like, he didn't tip over. He didn't, like, yell. It's like you cut the strings.

Yeah, it's just like you flipped a switch. And straight down, straight to death. So I sort of thought that Slaughter would be like that. I don't know why it's not. I think maybe it's something about maybe the heart continues to beat and maybe it helps them bleed out. I don't know why it's not. I think maybe it's something about maybe the heart continues to beat and maybe it helps them bleed out. I don't know.

I've shot cows to put them out of their misery before and I shoot them in the head and they are gone. They don't feel a fucking thing. They just done it. Almost like the guy described. Exactly like the guy you described. Sometimes they'll just kind of go and like, that's it.

Like they just fall. They're dead. they're dead instantaneously because the part of them that makes them alive is gone it exploded yeah like you are your brain like like the rest of you is like a meat suit that your brain is fucking powering around you think oh these are my hands no they're not there's just some it might as well be the a pair of pliers that's connected to your brain with some fucking wiring. We're just little machines that this weird... Have you ever seen a full human nervous system? Like the brain with all of the...

It's gross as shit. You could put that in a tank and that would still be us. We're just in a meat suit. So once that's gone, you're no more. And the same is true for that fucking cow. I've shot a lot of them. Yeah, fuck them. I don't think I've ever shot a deer in the head.

Oh, I have. No, that was... No. No. You don't aim for the head when you hunt. What's the longest it's ever taken you to kill an animal? Is it because it's risky? It's because it's risky for the animal.

Right. For one thing, the head of the deer is often considered a trophy. For a second, you might just blow his fucking nose off, which would be horrific for the deer. Because they'll survive that sort of thing and go on and starve to death in gruesome pain. Their face will rot off or something awful like that. Whereas if you miss his heart by six inches, you hit his lungs.

If you miss his lungs by eight inches, you hit his liver. Everything right here behind his shoulder blade, including the shoulder blade, is a kill shot with a.30 caliber rifle. Is a liver a slow death? I thought it might be. Nah, he just fucking dropped.

It's such a big bullet. Hunting bullets aren't like military cartridges. Full metal jacket goes through like a spear. Just like sticking a spear through someone. But real bullets, hunting bullets, they go through and they turn into all these pedals like self-defense rounds do. And so they're cutting.

The hole in the back will be big enough to stick all your fingers into. That's a thing i feel like sometimes people who want to do gun bans don't understand right they they hear ar-15 for example and think it's this like extra deadly killing machine super whatever and now i'm a little speaking and kyle correct me if i get anything wrong here but it's like if you hunt deers with ar-15 some people will consider you impolite like like you need to use with AR-15s, some people will consider you impolite. Like you need to use a deadlier round perhaps, maybe northern deer or something where they're bigger.

If you're hunting with.223 or.556, same thing, then you should be doing these like.30-06 or something that really kills deer dead. But people misunderstand. The thing is that with the military, they have other priorities, like carrying this shit on their backs as they hike for 20 miles.

And cost, you know. And how it's to be, you know, the application of the weapon system. If you look at like the 458 SOCOM round that originated right after Somalia where special forces were like, hey, we're shooting these fucking skinnies who are chewing cod all day and they're just eating two or three five five six

rounds and just keep spraying a fucking ak at us riding on the back of a toyota and they just kill three of our guys they're like all right we need something that'll like hit a guy who doesn't give a fuck and is drugged up and knock him the fuck down and they came up with a 458 socom round it's outrageous it comes out of the AR-15 platform or the M4 platform, whatever, and it's just a huge fucking fat bullet that's going fast enough. I don't know.

Did that slow down the Somalians? Or Somalis? That'll drop a Somalian in his tracks, I guarantee you. I'm only as good as my sources, but I was reading this thing about when they moved to 5.56, and they're like yeah

with five five six we had like 12 man groups of people now we can move to seven because seven men are as effective with 12 because they can carry more rounds and you know that whereas if you have a really heavy bullet maybe you carry 200 rounds with a light bullet you carry 300 rounds and and each person is more effective than they were with the 200s. So that's the kind of thing that the military needs to keep into their consideration. But if you're going to shoot, now I feel bad. If you're going to shoot a ball, a school, a movie theater or something like that, bigger rounds might be your thing. You're not hiking 30 miles.

You're not doing like what vietnam soldiers had to do and carry that stuff through the woods in the swamp all the time it's it's both ways you know like like a 30 caliber caliber bullet um i mean if you wing something with it it's like i could easily see a 30 caliber bullet taking an arm most of the way off if you hit them like right in the bone okay you know like it's a big bullet all of my experience obviously is fucking deer and pigs especially pigs and it really fucking knocks them dead but with five five not so much you know i've shot pigs with five five six and they kept running um but most of the time but that was with like full metal jacket and we switched to like

those really good hollow point rounds ballistic tip actually and those explode when they hit the hog and it's it's like a little shotgun that goes off right on impact and just scatters his insides with shrapnel that are just slicing every artery and organs to smithereens so it's more about the rate of fire and and like how much lead you can put down range because that makes an ar-15 so deadly in those terrible situations it's like he's got 30 rounds or 60 rounds and he can deliver them as fast as he can pull the trigger and it's they're pretty accurate because of the low recoil you know with a 30 caliber round what is an ar-10 the bigger air 15 is that like yeah it is and those would be in a 308 cartridge most of the time you know there's a lot of like in-between cartridges and like Wildcat stuff and like weird application rounds of 6.8 and stuff like that.

But for the most part, the two mainstays that I was always familiar with was the 5.56, you know, the standard AR-15. And then what's kind of commonly known as an AR-10, which is very, very much like an AR-15, but it's a 308 caliber. It's sort of the difference between the the scar l and the scar l and the scar h if you played call of duty you know maybe that's a good way to put it one's five five six the other's 308 and there's a big difference big difference yeah i just people who don't know guns at all sometimes think the ar-15 is this like ridiculous thing with outrageous recoil i've heard it said that they can hurt people even if they just come close. If it's a near miss,

then you might lose the ankle. That is wildly untrue. I've had people shoot fruit out of my hands with them. I've never done that, but I've shot near grass. I've shot on a bipod in the ground. The grass is hardly impacted. It's not

ripping my ankle off if it's barely blowing the grass over the first time i shot an ar-15 like i was kind of surprised but i was like oh god damn yes nice like this i this is this isn't punch back at me at all even the reddit people who i think are not very pro-gun um there was like a someone was saying that the r15 recoil and kick was so dramatic and shocking and emotionally scarring yeah yeah and someone put the the butt of the rifle on their nose and just pulled it pulled it pulled it pulled it to show how mild it really is and they're like that's an incredibly effective display at what he's trying to tell you. Like if that was shocking that dude, give him a 12 gauge and see how he feels.

Like, yeah, throw a slug in a 12 gauge and see how that guy fares. Air 15s are great at everything. And that, you know, when you really trick one out and you customize it, when it has a very good muzzle break on it,

muzzle breaks, take so much of the recoil out, like a shocking amount. I don't know the percentage. If I'm just guessing, it's like 40% of the recoil is gone. And now instead of something that would barely touch your nose, now it doesn't even touch your nose.

Now it's just out. And then you throw a suppressor on there too, a good stock, good grips, change the weight of it a little bit with some attachments, and you just don't feel anything. And you can really spray accurately the lighter and the less recoil they have you can do some cool stuff i've got a video here of a drunk guy in one of those little carts that you can

raise yourself up in i don't know cherry picker what it's called cherry picker thank you uh and he is discussing the current quandary with someone else. Let's watch this. I'm familiar with this series of videos. Ready, set, play. What's your name? Steve. Steve? I can't have you driving up and down the street in this Skyjack.

You're sitting on beer. After, after. I'm not drinking it now. What about that beer there I saw you drinking coming out of the driveway? Oh, man. I'm just guessing that one was from earlier. Solid reasoning. I'm on this.

I can't have you driving down the road in a Skyjack drinking beer. Why don't you come on down and talk to me here for a minute. Let's figure this out. I'm with Steve on this one. No, just come on down. We'll get this turned out and we'll get you back to work. No. Steve, come on down and talk to me here for a minute? Let's figure this out. I'm with Steve on this one. No, just come on down. We'll get you back to work. No. Steve, come on down.

Steve, come on down. Come get me. How about that? Tell you what, Steve. We can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way. Come on up, Steve. The hard way, on the way to jail, we're going to stop by the hospital. Oh, maybe I'll come down.

Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll come down. Do you think this is real? No, it's a series of comedy videos. Oh, dang. Well, I fell for it. I'm familiar with this guy. I fell for it.

I'm an idiot. Yeah, let me try to find his channel, because they're hilarious. Yeah, it was done well. I mean, it was really the terrible video quality that sold me that it was real. From a long time ago, i looked up the most obese countries america's 16th which initially i thought like that's not bad right by american standards for fatness like that the trouble is all the countries that had a higher obesity rate than us you don't even know them watch me all right All right. American Samoa was the worst. Then Tokelau, Nauru, the Cook Islands, Palu, Marshall Islands, Tuvalu, Niu.

Star Wars. Tonga, Samoa, Kiribati, Micronesia, Aruba. Kuwait. Dagobah. I know that one. Kuwait's fat? That's a problem. Cayman Islands

and then America So it's like we're kind of the fattest real nation I got another one After Kuwait I guess But all the Mexicans coming here

are driving down our average That's not fair I'm not sure that's true I thought Mexico had a problem with obesity too That's what I mean They're not sending their best They're sending their fattest I'm not sure that's true. I thought Mexico had a problem with obesity too. That's what I mean.

They're not sending their best. They're sending their fattest. They're ruining our status as people. That's it. Trump should come out against obesity. We're making us so heavy. Our diet is so healthy. My number one priority is going to be to end obesity, starting with everyone but me.

gonna be the end obesity starting with everyone but me yeah I've got a little high-speed chase here Steve lawnmower DUI guy steals a cop car I'm down I'm ready ready set play this is fake too right right? Yeah. This is Steve again. High production quality though. We've got somebody in a fucking tower right now, I guess. A tower. I was thinking drone. But I think you're right about the tower. Yeah, this is 2011.

It looks like there's a real cop. Yeah, it looks to me that way too. I think they had a cop buddy or something who helped them with these. How you doing today? Well, alright. What's your name? Steve. Steve?

I'm Officer Donovan with the Bowbridge Police Department. You can't be out here on the lawn mower, man. Man, I'm just going like a block or two that way. A block? Where you coming from? I live in the area. I live in the area. I live in the area.

I live in the area. I live in the area. I live in the area. I live in the area. I live in the area. I live in the area. bridge police department you can't be out here on the lawnmower man man i'm just going like a block or two that way a block where are you coming from i live right down there man it's no big deal where you headed i go i go to the pack and saver every day man they know me i'm a I got to drink today, Steve. Beer? How many? Like, maybe, you know, ten or six. Ten or seven. I like this. He's got a cigarette, too.

Oh, my God. Just like, can't you be cool once in your life? Steve, do what I tell you. Do what I tell you, Steve. Man, I didn't. I'm just going down. Put the cigarette down. You don't have a driver's license.

Come on over to the car, man. I did, but... Come on over to the car. I... Do you need a driver's license for a lawnmower? Well... I'm on Steve's side. I'm good. I'm just going down to the...

Get back on the hood for me, man. All right? Hang on, man. Come on, man. Come on, man. I'm good. I'm just going down to the seat. Get back on the hood for me, man. Alright? 10-49. Come on, man. I didn't... Dude, I'm just getting a 12-pack, alright? What's this, man?

That's not mine. I was hoping you'd say that. These aren't my shorts. 494. These aren't my shorts. Yeah. Dispatch, I'm gonna pull your head off the board. I'm gonna pull your head off the board.

I'm gonna pull your head off the board. I'm gonna pull your head off the board. I'm gonna pull your head off the board. I'm gonna pull your head off the board. I'm gonna pull your head off the board. I'm gonna pull your head off the board. I'm gonna pull your head off the board. I'm gonna pull your head off the board. I'm gonna pull your head off the board. I'm gonna pull your head off the board. I'm gonna pull your head off the board. I thought mine was... I was hoping you'd say that. 494. These aren't my shorts.

Dispatch, 920, pull your head on the portal. Steve, no! Steve, no! Steve! Jesus! 494, subdecast my unit and set a westbound on 70. Call 14924. You definitely need a driver's license for a police car. The cop definitely should have hopped in the lawnmower for pursuit. He's still on his mission to get cigarettes. I need a 12 pack.

Um... He just walks in like he owns the place. It's... ...to the inside store. Be advised. This guy's still making videos, by the way. This is 2011. Look at these nonchalant-

Steve! Put your hands in the air! Put the beard out Steve! Put your hands in the air! Get on your knees for me Steve! Get on your knees for me Steve! Steve get on your knees! Don't talk to me Steve! Didn't it? Get on your knees for me Steve! Didn't it?

Get on your knees Steve! I was just kidding man. I Was just kidding man I'm a child of God. yep Steve Jessup is he made a video a week ago it's called mud park whiskey weed and women with Steve Jessup these are really funny videos I'm gonna watch some of these that's great I know my rights I need to get back into watching sovereign citizen videos on youtube oh those are so repetitive well yeah that's why i probably am saying i need to get back into it because you can only watch like two and then you're like oh it's the same annoying cunt saying the same things i i have to wonder like because i don't know anything about the law is there anything for them to stay on is it possible

to be here without being a u.s like citizen like i didn't opt into this can i sometime somehow say like you know what i'm a citizen of the world and i follow maritime laws no that's what you need to look into relinquish your U.S. citizenship. That's a thing. But then they're going to have to put you in a camp. Do I not have to pay taxes? If I understand this correctly, they only put my kids in the camp. You're not allowed to have a job and therefore no income. In that instance, I would think, right?

Yeah, no illegal immigrants have jobs in this country. Well, they also don't pay taxes. Hey, did we just come upon a great money-making scheme? We become illegal immigrants. Boom. And also start a church at the same time, because I'm tired of us skipping over that plot point. They're into Catholicism, right?

No, I'm saying we need to start our church. We'll become illegal immigrants. Yeah, they'll buy into that. They'll buy into anything. Yeah. That's true. They think a virgin had a baby like i can't i can't even believe she got that over on joseph much less a billion other people dude that woman's lie has caused so many problems would have been so horrible if she fucked right does she had to be a virgin would they would have been so the whole religion not be cool anymore if it was like yeah uh i'm the raw dogger of jesus the most respectable thing about jesus is that he was absolutely shredded and still turned down pussy that's what we should be impressed with christ about he turned down he

had a he had a whore right no he had mary magdalene who was probably all up on his job wasn't she a whore he kept saying yeah she was she was a prostitute he kept saying no and i'm saying that he must have had so much bronze age gash thrown his way and he kept turning it down i thought he he didn't fuck mary magdalene no i mean if he did it's on the Bible. They cut that part out. There's a whole lot of, trust me, there was no sex here in the Bible, but I'm not buying. The Book of Mary. And also, he didn't like eating pussy.

Much. Just heard her bitching about Christ being a selfish lover. You should watch... I finished Preacher, by the way. You turned my pussy juice into wine, and I got a horrible UTI. Can you make this cranberry juice? Yes. Sorry, Kyle.

The Witcher, you were watching that? Oh, not The Witcher. Oh, The Preacher, sorry. Yeah, I finished that off. That's a show where they literally go back and they show you Jesus banging this lady and then they grab his descendant in modern times, Humperdinck.

Humperdoo? Humperdoo, yeah. We watched that clip where he's an inbred retard. He is an inbred retard, Humperdoo. The final season of that show was so pants on head insane that even I had a hard time sticking it out. I only continued to watch because I had purchased it. Visually, the guy with anus mouth turned me off from the show.

The butthole mouth guy. I could hardly watch him. He tried to kill himself with a shotgun and he gave himself permanent butthole mouth. It looks like a butthole. There's this hilarious scene where he's in a gas station bathroom taking a shit. permanent butthole mouth. It looks like a butthole. And there's this hilarious scene where he's in a gas station bathroom taking a shit. And he's very innocent, butthole mouth man. And he's very religious.

But there's a gay guy next to him who keeps tapping his foot under the stall. And he's like, taps him back. You know, hey there. Oh, he doesn't know what the foot tapping means. Uh-uh. He has no idea. Give him a little tap back. the guy's like come on dude let's do this huh and you can't understand him because butthole mouth right he's like we're a river do you need some toilet paper and the guy's like what the fuck did you say dude just put your mouth to the hole let's go come on and he's like

huh toilet paper no put your mouth on the hole, dude. Let's go. And he puts his butthole mouth right on the hole. And the guy goes, whoa, dude, I said your mouth.

It's so gross. Cause it looks just like a fucking asshole. It's a butthole with teeth. Yeah. It's, it's real nasty. It's a real nasty. It's a fuck show.

Like, like it, it takes a lot to offend me, but that show has offended me a few times. It's a real nasty. It's a fucked show. It takes a lot to offend me, but that show has offended me a few times. It's just too much. Being offended is pretty refreshing. It's nice. So,

North Korea promised us a Christmas gift, and it seemed like a threat. AirPods? And Christmas came and passed without one. And now the military is on high alert after Christmas passed without a gift from North Korea like I don't know North Korea is full of shit

right of course they are probably they say outrageous things I mean they're not going to give up their nukes because they see the history of literally every country who's ever been told by the U.S. to, hey, demilitarize and we're going to be cool cucumbers.

And then we end up just dominating them in some shit. So they're not going to get rid of them. But also, yeah, they're probably not doing any real shit. What could they do? What could they possibly do? Launch another rocket over Japan? They go into the ocean? Like, isn't that all they ocean like isn't that the scariest

thing they've done and even people in Japan were like watching you know their crazy ass game shows not caring about that they're like dude we have hurricanes and tsunamis all the time here when that whole thing was going on it's a shame that I was had all my legal stuff going on

and still but I was looking at what an Airbnb Of like a badass place cost in South Korea like during the height of that missile crisis I was like, you know what a bit tourism was down I checked and sure enough like bad ass like like you're in like a high-rise where like all the walls are windows Like like you've got like the corner of like a high rise and there's they've got those uh edgeless pools and stuff like that like places that you would imagine would be like 1500 a night or something they're like 280 350 shit like that it was so cheap to go there on like a baller vacation and i was thinking like can you do drugs in south k? No, they're very hard.

South Korea is. Oh yeah, it's a real problem with no marijuana there. You're not thinking of Indonesia and South Korea too? It's South Korea too because I had a friend... Indonesia, Philippines, and Singapore. I had a friend that went and taught English to the South Koreans and she was like, well no weed for two years.

That's a thing. And I was like, really? You can't get it there? She's like, they'll lock you up. It's like five years or something. And I was like, yeah, glad we're past that. Well, I mean, it's more dangerous to drive high in Asian countries. Oh, it's dangerous to drive at all. For walking the road? Yeah.

Yeah, South Korea would be really cool to go. If I were to pick one country over there to go visit i feel like japan because they got like vending machines with weird shit in it obviously sushi is probably the best because they're japanese you can kill a whale yeah there's lots of cool stuff you can do in japan i would imagine i want to do one of those dolphin slaughterings do they have those still? Absolutely, you can book it as an add-on to a carnival Are there smarter animals we could slaughter? You know, if we're going to kill something that's kind of sentient

Like little people We said That joke doesn't work If you don't say I really got to rein myself in Too far. Dolphins are number one, right? Or do whales beat out dolphins?

I don't know. Maybe whales. Yeah, I know they're so close. Yeah, they got big ass brains, probably. I don't fucking know. Elephants are pretty smart. Right. You know retarded animals like lobster and crab,

we should stop trying to say they're retarded animals. You know, lobsters are immortal, right? Did you know that, that lobsters are immortal? I did, yeah. Yeah, they will continue to grow until it gets to the point that their shell can no longer support them, and then they will crush themselves under their own weight

once they get so big. I was at Red Lobster the other day. Those biscuits are amazing, by the way. And I saw one of those little fellows and I was just like, this one's not living forever. No. This one's living for the next three to eight minutes.

I think I found the one that's got maybe three days left here. Yeah. Give me the mean one. Give me the one with the eye patch. Oh, I love that. And that, oh, season two of The Boys is coming too, I think. Coming soon, I think. Yeah. I love that because there's The Boys is coming too I think I love that Is it spelled boys funny?

I think it's just The Boys No it's just The Boys I love when Aquaman tries to rescue the lobster And he's like yeah give me that one And the butcher just goes And does that thing where you cut right down the middle of their skull And insta-kill them And he's like ah ah

Fuck He's like shooting the shit with some stupid lobster yeah how's it going yeah me too lobster tastes great but it's also a very overpriced overrated food i think it's more expensive than crab and crab is way better the meat sweeter. There's more of it in a given like the, you know, per weight of the animal. Like it's crab is King over lobster for sure. You know, I don't know.

I had a, I had a lobster pizza appetizer and that, but then I also had like a, some crab linguine. They're kind of 50, 50 for me. I also had some raw oysters from Red Lobster, right?

Rolling the dice, my friend. Didn't care. I was like, you got raw oysters here? And he was like, we sure do. And I was like, give me half a dozen.

Let's go. What do you pop on those bad boys? You put Tabasco and marinara. I put a little cocktail sauce on there, just a little bit, a little Tabasco, and horseradish, a little dab of horseradish on there, and I just scoop those fuckers up. Don't put them on a cracker or anything lame like that.

Sometimes they're okay on the cracker if you put a bunch of hot sauce on there. I want the full slugginess of the oyster. Two things. One, the boys has not announced a release date, but people are theorizing summer of 2020. So there's that. And I agree that crab tastes better than lobster,

but lobster, if you're not as skilled at de-shelling as Taylor, gives you more food for effort. Yeah, or you can just buy something where it's already provided for you like like you know like crab cakes or no cakes are so good no well no you're you're correct there crab cakes are good but i think crab cakes aren't as good as just the crab meat that you don't like if you use the crab as a butter shovel that's the top of the line right there just agreed do you like soft shell crab like like where like you know deep fried soft shell crab love it where it they like

take the crabs innards mix it with that breading and then stuff it back into his fucking body and like cook it and then you eat out of his shell like it's a bowl yeah that shit's can you imagine the human equivalent to that like if your ass eaten by a lion? It's a person's torso with the arms and legs ripped off and the rib cage pulled agape. And it's just stuffed with all of our legs and arm meat that's been mixed with breading and stuffed into us. And the head is just looking on in horror as they dig out our innards. God damn, I'm hungry. Me too. Me too.

Me too. That sounds great. Well, that's four hours. Let's all go get some crap. Yes. I got so much tendril in my fridge. I'm going to eat too much. I have Thanksgiving leftovers, which is pretty legit.

I threw the beef stroganoff away after I threw up. Oh. I'm sorry, buddy. Were there any post words from our good friend? All right, we're good. Get quip, blue chew. Check them out. Get a hard dick and clean teeth.

Yeah, you have to guess which is for which. PKA 471.