Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #473

Episode Date: January 17, 2020

In this week's PKA, we've got Co-Owner of the eSports organization NRG and Co-Owner of the NBA's Sacramento Kings, Andy Miller on the show, and he shares stories about Steve Jobs and his time as a VP over at Apple and then the guys have a deep dive into sports talk, with the hockey, lots of baseball and of course baseball. Change of pace episode!

PKA 473 with our guest Andy Miller. Kyle? Yeah, a couple of sponsors tonight, Blue Chew and Postmates. We'll get to them later on the show. But, you know, if you just can't wait, link's in the description below. Andy. So, Andy, how do you kick it off? I know we all got questions.

We do, we do. Yeah, Andy is a big-time businessman, and this captures my interest. So you are currently the co-founder of Energy Sports. Your first, as far as I know know wild success was quattro wireless which you sold to apple yes i actually had a business before that uh-huh that was that um was pretty successful uh and did really well um for me personally it was like my first win as a entrepreneur so that means that you make less money because uh you got into it you know kind of like being a struggling musician and you sign your contract with the record label and you crush your first album when you make no

money off of it that next contract right but uh i actually did okay but it was a company called m cube out of boston m it was the company called M-Cube out of Boston. M, it was the worst name ever, literally. Thankfully, it wasn't like consumer facing. But I didn't start it. I came in and worked with my now business partner for the last million years. And it was spelled lowercase m hyphen Q U B E M cube. And the idea was it was mobile messaging market. Yeah. Terrible. Right.

Like don't ever name that company. It's classic, but it's stuck. You know, I don't even remember like what our URL was. No one can find us. So business one-on-one catchy name, but that was a mobile messaging company, and it was text messaging. But before, this is like Internet 1.0. So if you were on Sprint and you were on Verizon, you guys wanted to be buddies. You couldn't be friends.

You couldn't text each other because there was no interoperability back then. So we got the bright idea of connecting all the carriers together and creating shortcodes, which text messaging, SMS, and eventually running messaging, you know, across all the major carriers in North America and doing billing as well. So like our first, we were a startup out of Boston and our first like giant gig was we got, we started working with freemantle with a brand new show called american idol and we were running the vote the messaging voting and we had no idea that you know 80 billion votes were gonna happen every freaking night and uh the whole thing went down the first night and they were like oh my god like the voting's all invalid and we added more people and more servers and everybody was sleeping over for days. And it was awful.

But it ended up being a pretty cool company. We did text alerts for Major League Baseball. But the irony, all the money came back in the day, if you're young enough to remember. Ringtones. Ringtone. Description horoscopes. Stuff like that. You couldn't just rip a song and make it your ringtone, subscription horoscopes, stuff like that. You couldn't just rip a song and make it your ringtone.

So it was now M cube is better, faster mortgages without the hassle. I just diversification. Yeah. So you said that you didn't get super wealthy off that company who did? No, no. I don't know if any of us did. It was around for a couple of years before I got there. So it raised of any of us. It was around for a couple years before I got there. So it raised a bunch of money.

It sold to VeriSign for $270 million. The cool, interesting part was the CEO of VeriSign at the time was Stratton Sklavos. Is that name familiar in the esports world to you guys? Well, Stratton's the dude who put all the money behind rick fox for echo fox which is gone now but uh i gave it a shot there and um he yeah he bought it and um the business was fascinating because i think we sold it in 2006 and like 2004 no revenue 2005 no 2003 no revenue 2004 no revenue 2005 five million in revenue all of it in december 2006 about 75 million in revenue you know in one year and then we sold it it's pretty crazy run yeah wow yeah just to recap, we went from five to, did you say 75?

75 in one year, like all hyper growth because text messaging took off. Like everybody was, you know, getting suckered into those subscription ringtone and horoscopes. And we were, you know, all these alerts and MTV stuff and we had a bunch of carriers. So it was like hyper growth. I think we went from like 50 employees to about 250 employees and trying to get people on and platform as much as quick as possible and give them info on how to run their business. It was really like a total business school case study, fascinating business. And it kind of went down as fast as it went up after we sold it. My nieces and nephews used to get in trouble for sending too many text messages.

And they weren't on the right plans. And they had friends who weren't in Verizon. And I'd hear these numbers. And it's like, wait a minute. That breaks down to like 180 texts a day. That seems like a lot. Do you remember how fun it was when you knew one of your friends was roaming to send like a bunch of one-word texts? Because it's like each one cost them 17 cents.

That's why this man's company became worth 75 million. A bunch of jokers like you. I contributed. Yeah, I know. That was the impetus for starting Quattro. So I went there to VeriSign for like two months. I'm like, this is not for me. I'm not going to stay here.

And I got the bug now. And, you know, once you have a successful exit and startup, you're like, oh, let's go. Let's do this again. It's like a drug. And the impetus was I was looking at my people's phone bills. We're like, there's no way everyone,

this is like a credit card. People were charging everything on these phone bills. All these, you know, you can't have a $300 phone bill. and i remember meeting with verizon and they're like we can't have people look at our phone bill and think it's us that's charging them all this money even though the verizon part was like you know 60 bucks right so that's when i started to think we got to have everything ad supported and the ad networks on on the wired web were just kind of starting and uh you know now it's everything's ad supported but that was kind of just kind of starting. And, uh, you know, now it's, everything's ad supported, but that was kind of the idea to starting a mobile ad network.

That was, that was the company that Quattro, that Apple bought. Yeah. I ran up a phone bill at one point talking to a girl who was on a different carrier. It was in one month, it was almost $1,500. Did you feel like a rube afterward? I felt like an asshole. I was like, that's all the money I have. Must have been some pretty good pussy. I was just talking way too much.

It was kind of long distance. I love you, boobie. No, I love you. $1,500 for that conversation. It was voice. It wasn't even text it was voice it was just you know what are you doing oh it was it's not like we were covering anything important i'm sure it was just like ah this is how my day went this is how your day went ah yeah yeah what's the weather like and just fifteen hundred dollars of that over the course of 30 fucking days i'm glad that's not we had that repeatedly like it so when we moved to north carolina

like this one of the like contracts i had with my wife was that she was allowed to call home you know i we might have to work out like first she'd use her free cell minutes and then she'd use the 10 cents a minute sprint plan or whatever, but I wasn't to restrict how often she could talk to her mom and her sister and stuff like that. Cool. Well, even though we set up a long distance plan, somehow that got fouled up. So when you make calls and you don't have a plan, the price is ridiculous. It's like a dollar a minute. Meanwhile, my wife is like watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer with his sister together you know like just like not even talking just existing on the phone and month after month we got these huge

bills that i would pay and then call them and contest and be like look you've got to fix this you need to fix this so in the end what happened was they did fix it and they sort of like backdated and fixed the bills and then I didn't have to pay a phone bill for like seven more years or something. That's how it worked out. You came out ahead. I really need to call Verizon for 19-year-old me.

19-year-old me was in a jam. Oh, yeah. Phone companies used to work with you if you were in a jam like that. You're like, alright, I need a new plan. I need to start two months ago. And then they'd help you out. You know, it's similar to I found out at Apple with the App Store.

Like if you'd call up and be like, oh, my, you know, eight-year-old, 10-year-old son just started buying shit left and right and, you know, playing whatever game he downloaded and bought you know two thousand dollars worth of in-game items like they're like okay like in one second they just wipe it out the last thing they want is to you know call your congressman and say that there's something i've done that with them too i'm like this is paying for freemium apps we had a big uh app store bill one time it was i forget if it was calling her hope but it's not important in any case i'm like this is a gps app for australians like we didn't mean

to buy this you know we've never been there and i don't know where you're trying to go mike it was 30 some dollars for that app and like you said they're just like oh yeah all right cool we can undo all this so imagine a scenario where they force you to deal with like australian customer service to resolve that issue you're gonna need to call back at 4 a.m uh andy after all this entrepreneurship how do you think you do working in a big company like if you got a good job at somewhere big you know an apple an amd or whatever are you wired for that or have you been probably it's a good question like i i i liked working at apple but we were like well last year we were like a startup within you know a huge company

kind of like you're over here your ads don't fuck up everything else with apple because everybody on the executive team is super nervous that ads are going to come into all these apps and wreck it. No one's going to want to use them anymore. So it had this double edged sword. And I reported directly to Steve Jobs, which was unusual. So I had this like weird setup anyways. And he was pretty sick. So it was even stranger. So I don't know how accurate that would be for my temperature. But yeah, probably not. It would be cool to have some really big job, like, hey, you're the president of something really fun and interesting. But I think just the whole structure and formal reporting, I don't know.

Not the best at that. How long were you reporting to steve jobs did you work there up until he he passed away or before that okay yeah two years was he real sick the whole time you were there or was or did you kind of get to experience some of him being it's eccentric because you heard so much about him being like you know wearing his jeans with no belt walking around his new balances kind of just being a goober that's what it sounded like was you obviously had heard of him before you started there did expectations line up oh yeah uh he was very sick very sick like the first time i saw him i mean i couldn't believe it like i was not a fan boy and didn't know every bit of his life like my

my my co-founder my cto but he was you know he was, you know, he was a scarecrow. He was a thin guy who was obviously trying. When you see someone that's that ill and they're still working, do you relate to that sort of work ethic? I guess you might, you might call it, or are you like, man, I'd be at home with the family. I'd, I'd be. That's a great question. I don't know. You know, I can't speak for his life and his, you know,, man, I'd be at home with the family. I'd be- That's a great question. I don't know, you know, I can't speak for his life and his, you know, his relationships with his family,

but he, Apple was his family. There's no doubt. And that's his baby. And he probably, I can't imagine him healthy because he crushed everybody with work, his work ethic when he was, you know, in his last couple of years. Like he, I think he knew he was dying and he wanted to go real fast.

And he wanted to see this get done and this get done. I want to see this get done. But Apple's thing was like, you know, he created this culture where he would bring you in and say, okay, I really love this idea. How long is it going to take to build whatever, the next iPod? And he'd bring the engineers and you'd all meet and you'd come back and you'd say nine months. We can get this thing ready to go. Certify, you know, for production nine months. He's like, OK, I'll give you three.

And you know, I mean, we can't even get to the first phase of planning in three months. You got three months and you're going to get it done. And they always did. They always did, because he made you feel like your shit didn't stink. And if you were at Apple, you were a superhero and you were handpicked and they were and they always did they always did because he made you feel like your shit didn't stink and if you were at apple you were a superhero and you were hand-picked and they were and they always did and he did that times 10 when he was uh you know failing so i think this was just his thing i think getting not getting to go in was an awful feeling for him the days he couldn't make it in i worked at cisco for a while and sometimes playing with timelines like i worked there 13 years so you'd learn like if they say woody how long does this

take and i explain to them i can do it in three weeks and then i freaking nail it and get it done in three weeks and everything is great they say huh yeah whatever i mean it wasn't that big of a project right but if i say i can get this done in 12 weeks and then also nail it and get it done when i said i would get it done they were like that was a pretty major endeavor huh you got it done in 12 weeks that's exactly what scotty does on star trek you know like like scott the captain's like how long till we get power back on scott and he's like three days he knows it's one day he knows it's one day it's always three or one day. It's always three or four days, and he's always going to knock it out in 12 hours. He just multiplies whatever it's going to take by eight,

and then he gets it done and looks like a genius. People would catch on after a little bit. No, they never did. That show was on for years, and you were just like, they never figured it out. In Cisco IT, the management didn't have a lot of technical expertise.

So they just seemed to have no idea how long something should take. I felt like they had trouble identifying who were top performers and who weren't. And a lot of career success in Cisco IT, anyway, had to do with how well you managed up. And how well you communicated with them, whether you hit your dates and things like that. They really didn't care or know or understand who wrote the best if conditional statements it was about how you presented yourself to the people above you yeah so a lot of businesses being liked being like on schedule that kind of shit trustworthy yeah okay carry on but sometimes here we we talk about i'm sorry to interrupt you but i'm already rolling um sometimes here we discuss like that the difficulty of staying motivated once you've

made a certain amount of money the amount of money whatever it is we're like man i can just live off interest at this point i kind of got this thing sewn up and and i think sometimes we marvel at the people who are like five million i I was really going for 50 or 50. I was really trying to get that big B in front of my, my, my worth. And, but, but for someone like Steve Jobs, I feel like that is taking it to this whole other level where it's like, oh, so you're telling me I've got 20 months to live. Hmm. I bet I could get a few projects out in 20 months. You know, really, if I get on the team, we could probably get the next device out and we could get a new operating system. Maybe we can really get, and I just, I don't relate to that. Yeah. That's foreign to me.

I'd be like, see you later, everyone. I'm going to die on a beach somewhere. Yeah. In that way, I think Apple and a lot of the things that he did toward the end, and that's where I'm leading to with this, has to be a big part of his final legacy. Were there any things that he was prioritizing toward the end

that you feel like maybe he looked at as sort of putting a bow on his legacy? His magnum opus. Yeah. What was he focused on in the latter days? Was it just business as usual? Or was it like,

there's this one thing I've been wanting to do and if I could just get that knocked out. There was two things I would say. One was the new headquarters, which is insane. I mean, it's the coolest building in America. It's unbelievable. And it's a giant monument to him.

The other thing was he has this thing called Apple University. Not that many people know about. Do you guys know what that is? No, not at all. So he built Apple University inside of Apple. He hired like, I think it was the Dean of Yale Business School or something. And he wanted to always have sort of his culture and history and drive and vision really codified and embodied in Apple. And so he started to create classes and, um, uh, curriculums around

like how to be an Apple person and how to think like Apple and executive programs for new people who came in. Like one of the things he said to me when, when he bought my company, when he, you know, at the frequent times that he was annoyed with me and the way I thought he'd be like, you know, I bought you. I didn't, you know, I didn't hire you. You don't think like an Apple person. He said you're too complicated man. And I'd be like, I guess that's not a compliment. He's like, no, you use 10 words when you can use two words. You show me, you know, a whole PowerPoint presentation when you can just show me a picture. He goes through the whole list. Right. He's spent his whole life trying to simplify everything.

In fact, like the outside of the Marcom office, you can even look it up online. He created this installation that basically is the word simplify, crossed out, simplify, crossed out, simplify. And that was it, right? That's the way he lived. And I didn't think that way. And he wanted to make sure that if you came, that's the way you're going to think and work. So there's a great history. You hear all the stories.

You learn all about the business and what sort of Steve wanted to leave as a legacy. And it's a big part of their training. Didn't he simplify his diet towards the end by only eating fruit? That's a real thing, right? He only ate fruit for a while? I guess so. He simplified his wardrobe. Well, he had a simple wardrobe, and I'm pretty sure he was like a fruitarian.

I remember that at the time where it was like he just ate fruit. Even at the time, I'm like, God, how is he working? Is he working from the bathroom? Just sharing constantly. Well, I had a bushel of apples and bananas for dinner last night like that sounds that sounds i think simplifying your wardrobe might be really good for productivity

in the end though like whenever you watch those futuristic shows like star trekking star wars whatever the same wearing the same thing right that guy with the red beard simpsons they've all gotten together and they've agreed, this is the look. This is the look for us. This is utilitarian and fashionable. Let's go with this. That's why he did it. He didn't give a shit.

He just didn't want to have to pick out his clothes every day. He picked out a new t-shirt, black shirt, put it on, put the jeans on, put the new vows on, went to work. Didn't care. In a way, that dressing down kind of works for you at some stage in your life, right? Like if you're aspiring to be a VP, then dressing like that doesn't really work. But if you're the man on top, now dressing like that's part of your legend. It's a different thing.

Yeah. So you look at Steve Jobs' way, simplify, simplify, use a picture, not a PowerPoint, et cetera. And you think because Steve jobs was successful, that that is the way to be successful, but you have your own opinions. Was he right? Or, or sometimes maybe a little context,

a good idea. And some problems aren't simple. Yeah. Well, I think he's right. If you want to run a big business, I think he's right. If you want to just,

it's, it wasn't like saying, I don't think it was his way. Like his way doesn't work for everyone he was a brilliant he was a five-tool athlete right if you talk about a baseball player who can run catch throw pit whatever he hit he he could do everything he he was he's the world's greatest salesman right he sold you stuff you didn't know you wanted. He was unbelievable with design, unbelievable, cursed with this curiosity and dislike of everything. So I remember I came up to him one day and I was wearing a pair of new balances I bought that I was very proud of that had no laces, right? It just like it was early days when there were shoes with no laces, right?

Just the little circular, what are those things called? The lots, whatever they are. And he's like, your shoes have no laces. I was like, yeah. He's like, oh, how do they stay on your feet? I'm like, oh, they got this little thing in here. He's like, oh, let me see. And he like looked at it for like minutes. And he's like, why?

Why would you wear this? That's kind of dumb. And I was like, oh, well, you know, like, so like he doesn't like everything he had and no furniture, like because he thought he could do better that's kind of a curse i guess in life you're not satisfied with anything but um it is a great way of being able to scale like i i don't have a lot of great traits but i'm an awesome multitasker even at my advanced age i can do a ton of shit at the same time and it pisses a lot of people off because they're like, wait, wait, wait, wait. All right. One thing, like, how do we, you know,

people who work with me and he basically made me think like an Apple person, which was boil everything down to its core points. Don't worry about the rest of the shit because it really doesn't matter. And let's make big decisions on core things. And I used to come in with a whole bunch of stuff. He'd be like, no, no, no, no. And then when I started to learn to boil stuff down, I could handle a lot of stuff at once. And then the problem was all the people who reported me, they couldn't do it. So they were still bringing me a ton of crap. And then I would have to boil it all down. And it was like, no, I can't handle life anymore. This is way too much stuff, but it is a great talent. And I think if you're going to scale, you can, you know, and be able to handle a lot of things and a lot of people and make a lot of decisions, you know, that's a company that has no focus groups. There's no hierarchy. It's the same 10 guys for the last, what, 20, 30 years in that executive team. And they have a meeting every Monday. I think it's Monday. What the hell was it called? Executive meeting, senior staff meeting.

And it would go on until they were done and they would make tons of decisions. And Steve's rules were like, if you came in here, you had to be, everything you said had to be 100% factual, no politics, truthful. We're not going to go look up if you say that the manufacturing was this or that. And we're going to make decisions here. And the day we find out that you're not prepared or you are giving us some type of agenda, then you're out of the boardroom. And we saw it. He got rid of people.

Did Bill Campbell play as big a role as he says he does? That's funny. You mentioned Bill Campbell. The second person today mentioned Bill Campbell. Oh, really? I recently looked right down the road. For those of us who aren't familiar, maybe some of the audience, who is Bill Campbell? I'm not familiar.

Bill Campbell was a football coach for a lot of colleges, including, I think, my alma mater for law school there, Boston College, but definitely Columbia. And he made his way to the West Coast after being a football coach and into business and became the CEO of, oh God, Intuit, I believe. But most importantly, he became Steve Jobs' life coach and Larry and Sergey from Google's life coach. And then everyone wanted to be part of that piece of bill. And he was such a wonderful, generous soul.

And he gave his time to people. And then he was on the board of google and at apple at the same time especially when when i was there which was like mortal enemies both putting out android and ios and phones and steve was like you gotta pick you gotta pick i want you on my board but i can't have you on both because these guys are ripping me off and so uh he's kind of a legend which did he pick apple Apple. He picked Apple? Yeah. And,

like, so I read his book, I actually listened to the audio book, but, he, it came off a little like, you know, he's the reason Apple succeeded,

the reason Google succeeded, the reason half of Silicon Valley succeeded, and I was like, ah, this just sounds pretty wonderful the only piece of modesty in the whole book was that his football teams lost all their games I wasted all this time

when I could have been at Google's fucking headquarters at the very least in that guy you've got a life coach with some credentials though right like I feel like if you're gonna be a life coach if you're gonna throw that on your business card you better have done some things right you you oh i would love to lie about my experience to be a life coach for someone you gotta have your own house in order you know what i mean i i had a girlfriend who she decided at one point she's like i'm gonna be a life coach and i'm just like

great wow and look i'm don't you think you should own a car and i'm a really supportive like uh boyfriend when it comes to things like that you know if you tell me that you want to start your own business or whatever whatever it is oh you're gonna be a wedding photographer great oh yeah like we you've got you tell me that you want to start your own business or whatever whatever it is oh you're going to be a wedding photographer great oh yeah we you've got some experience there and you love photography and you've already got the equipment excellent excellent let's let's work on this let's build a base but no she's like i want to be a life coach and i'm thinking like your car has one headlight i pay your rent i should be the life coach and you should be the student i pay your rent. I should be the life coach

and you should be the student. I pay your rent. How are you going? Step one, find a wealthy man who you can fuck. What balls? It's the one step method. And I never said a word.

She struggled at doing this thing for a year and I never said a word. She struggled at doing this thing for a year, and I never said a word. I was just like, you know, I think it's going to turn around. But if you believe in yourself, then I believe in you. I'm trying to pump her up because I think maybe she can swindle somebody into listening to her. I don't know. She is very positive because she still believes in herself

after a year of this at this point. And her rant's not that much. And the pussy's pretty good. Oh my god, but I just felt so bad. I felt like it would be so crushing to say to her what I just said to you. I don't think you're qualified to coach

anyone else in the matters of life. I don't think I am either and I think think the individuals who are qualified are rare. It sounds like this gentleman, his credentials were anywhere. They say that the most messed up people when you meet them outside of the office are therapists. You go out to them, oh, what do you do? You're like, oh, I'm a therapist. 20 do you do you're like oh i'm a therapist 20 minutes later you're like this person's nuts i don't think that's going to be a close friend of

mine uh but they're all they all end up being therapists uh bill's famous for the saying as a coach good coaches win great coaches cover so there's a good legacy uh coaches cover yeah cover i'm like the um so they mark gamble oh cover the spread your own team exactly right wait a minute isn't this why pete rose isn't in the whole game lucky for him his team's always like minus 37 i'm looking at his record now like well there's that one season they almost went I'm looking at his record now. Well, there's that one season they almost went.

Good for him, though. He's like, all right. Almost went 250. One type of coaching, total disaster. But I'm still a coach. I'm going to be a kind of coach. Yeah. Everyone had kind words to say about him. I guess he was helpful.

All his people were. But he owned the old pro, which is a sports bar here downtown palo alto and on friday afternoons at four o'clock and the place is set up with like super long tables like 50 feet long tables and everyone just sits on like there's like 30 tables a mechanical bowl that type of thing cool and uh he sets up these giant yard beers at around four o'clock and entrepreneurs come in. Anybody who wanted to would sit down there. And then he'd show up at like 435.

And you just have office hours with him and talk every week. It was great. That's cool. Yeah. Good man. I assume he's dead. Yeah, he died in 2016. Oh, we were talking.

Kyle made reference to this idea that once you have your finances in order, working becomes optional, right? What motivates you to keep working? You're with Energy Esports now. Yeah, what motivates you to keep working? Well, that's a great question. When you were saying that, I was like, you know, if you talk to super rich people or even pretty rich people and obviously it depends where you came from and what your family and background is and your motivation and what age you are but i would say the vast majority of them don't say hey i'm gonna go hang out on a beach now like right

do you know any healthy people and are they still working are they still doing stuff uh yeah some are some aren't some are just grinding so hard and some are like nailed it yeah yeah um so i sold um so i left about seven or eight years ago i guess i could have stopped working but when i have you know kids young kids i didn't want them to see me doing nothing um i wanted to be a good role model for them uh two just was you know my dad worked till he was like 80 years old you know and he couldn't stop working. And I'm kind of the same way. Like, I'm not a chill guy. Unfortunately, like I need to be like super busy or feel like there's a pot of gold at the end of whatever I'm doing or something that is motivating.

But I don't you know, I don't think I'm just not that person. I don't know. And most people I know aren't either when it's all said and done. Like you can say, how much money would it take for you to do nothing? What's your number? You know, do you want $10 million, 20 million, a hundred million? And it's just like you said. And then if you get there, it's like, do I really, what do I do with my days? You know, you can only go to the mailbox once, get your haircut, you know, once a week. Once a week, you're trying to convince us of that, Andy. Yeah. Me. I've got a friend who owned HostGator.

You're probably familiar with it, maybe. It hosted like 7% or 8% of the entire global internet at one point. He sold it for around a quarter billion dollars. At like age 28 or so, he's 28 years old with a quarter of a billion dollars. And he was like, nailed it. My career is over. Done. And he literally, he didn't retire to the beach because that's sort of the stereotypical one, but he retired to his own beach. He bought himself a gargantuan ranch out in Texas with all of the coolest toys that money can possibly buy.

Literally tanks. He was like, I want to own some tanks. Got to have tanks. Yeah. It's African livestock, right? Could you list some of the things? Yeah, it's a wild game ranch. I don't know. Everything from these rare black deer to water buffalo.

He was looking into getting hippos last time I spoke to him. You and the camel hit it off? Camels and giraffes and kangaroos and just living on this massive branch. I believe it's 90,000 acres and it's out in Texas. It's not like there's a house

at the border of his 90,000 acres. He's in the middle of nowhere. He's got his own runway and his own reservoir of water and a lake of his own and he's done he's ready when shit hits the fan right oh he's so ready yeah i have a friend who's i've got enough hippo meat for years i have a friend too he's really i don't want to put all his business out there and give details but he has uh lots of money he's really lots more than me and he's still working

away and i think that he just i'm projecting on him now but it almost looks like he's running up the score like like like if it takes 10 million points to win this game he's like you know i think i'd rather win with 100 million and and it's it's not about the stuff that the money can buy. I think he just likes to run up the score. Some people do. They're probably motivated by that. They're just constantly driven. I can't imagine that. I feel like I'd be like Kyle's buddy,

where if I had a quarter billion dollars, first of all, I'd be doing some ridiculous shit with that money. And second, I'd be like, I'm good. I'm good forever. My kids are going to be going to the best schools. They're going to grow up super comfortable.'re gonna have enough my grandkids are gonna be comfortable my great grandkids like like my whole family's set up for life and so now it's time for me to get autistically into a couple unique hobbies you know like get really into like

long-range rifle firing get into jujitsu. Get into power lifting. Pay power lifting meets for the real strong guys to let me win. For the first time ever, the Texas power lifting. Well, it was only a 300 pound deadlift, but everyone else forfeited.

I have a posse of armed guards dressed like just like stormtroopers that would know you want some of those hot lady guards like a daffy hat yeah get into a really unpopular sport taylor that's my advice right like lawn darts are illegal so i think you can be amongst the best long darters in the country because no one else is doing it that's true yeah i could start lawn darts what else do they not sell anymore because too many kids were killed um those magnets that you can't eat edible magnets that's my next quarter billion that'll be the end of your money have you seen that biohacking shit that people do where they'll like put tiny little magnets in their fingertips implants i have and then they say that they can like sense electromagnetic fields but based on like little little amounts of pressure and things is that what it's for

i thought they just picked up this article eight years ago and i'm probably making it up i have a i have a piece of shrapnel in my thumb and I can detect weak magnetic fields. Like, like, like on the, on the, my keyboard gives off a small magnetic, like charge it, like in the bottom center.

Like if you put a little piece of metal there, it'll click, stick to it. And I, if I run my thumb over it, I can feel the little flake of steel. That's, this is brilliant.

I need to imagine professor X trying to make you feel better when you show up at the X man school. He's like flame on man and fucking, you know, the Iron Titan. You can tell I don't know any other names. Meet Shrapnel Kyle. He can tell you if your computer's on. We have magnetic fields of six inches. Dude, you should put some shrapnel in your middle finger

and magnetize your W key and help you get back on. I'm not sure how that's helping. I am fascinated with implantable tech, though, like integrating tech into the human body. I love sci-fi. It's obvious. But you see that so often in futuristic in, in, in futuristic stuff, you know, people have these interfaces, right? And so the phone has become part of their, uh, their neural network, you know,

they're like, ah, loop. And they're, they're going live with somebody that, that really fascinates me. I know I've got like a, like my mom would be like, that's the mark of the beast, Kyle. Don't do it. Don't let them put that in you. Your mom would throw holy water at you. My mom thought the Apple Watch was the mark of the beast. They're telling you you pay with your left palm. Here it is. It's like, no, but you can take it off.

It is a watch. Yeah. I can't wait until eventually those people are proven right when like fucking apple comes out and they're like introducing the iphone 666 it's actually implanted directly into your brain stem and your left palm i told you this was coming down the pack and then we'll have to and we'll have to admit those fucking maniacs were right i know my mom watches the show just it was actually my dad who thought the Apple Watch was the mark of the beast. Not my mom. I mean, the mark of the beast sounds pretty convenient.

It does, right? Yeah, it's better than carrying around a credit card. Yeah. Never mind. I had a question. Oh, oh. Energy sports. Energy esports.

What's the business model there? It's so expensive to own a team now, but I guess it's cheap compared to owning the Redskins. Like, what is the thought process behind making money there? How's it going to work? Yeah, good question. So I don't, I think the problem is, and I've given this a lot of thought, that it's the name esports.

I think that's the problem. Because when you think esports, then you think sports, and you want to compare it to, I'm a part owner of the Sacramento Kings. So let's compare energy to the Sacramento Kings. Yeah, we both play games, and we have fan base. And as, you know, before these franchise leagues, that's about it. From a similarity standpoint, esports as a moniker has been around for a while. Helpful to have the right players. We have players and contracts, sure.

But we don't have television distribution deals. We don't own a piece of the game. I don't own a piece of Call of Duty. I wish we did, or, you know, Overwatch. We don't own stadiums. We don't really have until now coming up, but, you know, it's small and new ticket sales and parking and food. And, you know, it's not that similar. It is similar, but it's not. And so people try and say, this isn't working or this is different. You know, this is the same thing, but it's, you know, how is it ever going to pay off?

The reality is it's not much different than lowercase M hyphen capital Q U B M cube or, or Quattro with, you know, as a startup because we get into space, the business models are in flux, but they're figuring it out we there's a lot of if you look at it over the last we're like four years in a little more four and a half if you look at it over the last four years there were a shit ton of teams everybody and their brother i got a team i got a you know a jersey i made and uh i'm uh you know i got an esports team and i got a contract that i'm not paying people. And then what happened?

It was already very popular, but it got a lot of attention. And then a bunch of money came in and then real leagues formed and it became more sophisticated. And instead of the kid down the street who is the CEO of this team, you got old guys like me running teams with some business experience. and then you got teams going out of business because they were poorly run or they didn't know how to generate revenue or make proper investments and proper decisions. And I think that's kind of where we are now. Like it's a startup and some startups fail

and some startups will do great. And the ones that emerge, there won't be a thousand teams that emerge. There'll be a dozen. And they'll be valuable because they've figured out a business model. And there's a lot of models within these orgs. Some are trying to be events companies, and some are trying to be social networks, if you will, social platforms. Energy is trying to be more of a media company, content and games. And everyone's kind of got their own flavor and we'll see what works but

the the enterprise value the worth of our companies has gone up you know considerably there's been a lot of money put into these things and some some parts of our businesses will work and some won't and some of us will go out of business but it's hard to deny how many people are interested in the size of our audience. You know, just the energy alone. You know, we have a bunch of teams under energy. We've got a killer Apex squad, one of the best Fortnite in the world. We just won the Rocket League World Championship. We got Hector, who you know well,

and Skop and all the boys with Chicago Huntsman. We've got Shock. We just won the Overwatch League. Like, all that together is almost, or just probably bigger than the Kings fan base, Sacramento Kings. And it's all 15 to 30 year old dude. That's a pretty good cohort that every, you know, every brand wants to reach. So we just got to figure out how to get there, you know, before the money runs out. Yeah, it's a really interesting space because in other sports and baseball it's it's often performance based

right like who's more popular oh well they just want a series oh he he just he just hit 400 but but oftentimes in in the gaming space it seems like a guy's personality it can be so much more powerful than his actual skill at the game now don, don't get me wrong. He needs to be able to play the game really well, but some of these guys that are streamers, for example, just to command incredibly large fan bases and, and are just on their own, you know, businesses out of nowhere. It almost just seems like if you could get a personality, you know,

if you could get a guy who people want to show up and watch win or lose that that's that's the ticket that was an incredibly uh like a watershed moment for me we a few years ago uh so i have shaquille o'neal as as a co-founder on this thing and i was calling we had a conversation and i think we had just lost something oh we got crushed in league of Legends. We were originally in League of Legends. And he's like, why are you so upset? I'm like, oh, we're going to lose our team and this and that.

He's like, dude, we play every day. We have a team that plays. If you had any hair, you'd lose it all. And I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, well, it's fun. It should be fun. Like me. I'm fun, right?

Everyone likes me. I'm a cop, which he is. I'm a pitchman. I'm a DJ. I'm a world champion. But people love me because they love me, not because I'm a cop or a DJ or a world champion. And it was really telling. You look around.

Ninja's a hell of a player, right? But there's way better players. And he'll tell you that in other games. But he's super fucking entertaining. And disrespect is super entertaining and we got a guy symphony who plays fortnite and he's good but there's he'll tell you there's a bunch of kids out there who are way better but his audience is massive and people want to spend their time with them and i really started to think boy it wasn't really about wins and losses ironically 2019 we won like everything we ran it was amazing but we grew because of the content and the personalities and you hit the nail

on the head and what freaked me out actually was in the overwatch league in particular um we won and we were a dominant team and i started to like you know go on twitter and i'd always click on people who leave a comment or something like you you know, shock forever or whatever. And then you look at their header and it's like fan of the SF shock, the LA Valiant, the Houston allies. I was like, what the fuck? How can you be a fan of like 14? I would never say Red Sox fan, Yankees fan, you know, it doesn't work. But I guess it does. Yeah. For the, for the Sacramento Kings kings did you get in on that you know what was it just as much because i know lots of really wealthy people will then kind of jump into stuff that they're more interested in even if they know it's not necessarily the most lucrative thing they could do

uh was part of that you're just like fuck yeah i'm rich as hell i love basketball i'm getting in yeah that was 100 it like i like my whole dream growing up was to make enough money as I could to own a sports team by myself. And I got my first job out of law school working for a law firm. And I picked the firm. I got a few offers. I picked the firm that represented the Red Sox. And I was like, here I go. I'm going to start working on Red Sox stuff.

Before you know it, I'll be general manager. And they were like, you're the lowest employee here. You're never working. Screw that. I was like, oh, this sucks. And when I made some money and I came out, I bought a minor league baseball team. And I loved it. And with the Colorado Rockies, the nuts.

And we were the number one selling apparel. Guess why, right? We're the nuts. Yeah. I looked that up today. Really good branding. It's funny. Nuts on their head, yeah. And then,

but, you know, minor league baseball, you only control outside of the white line. So the players, the contracts, everything is run by the parent organization. It's almost like the movie theater business. Like, we have the stadium and the tickets and stuff like that. So I tried to get involved and put a group together to buy the Oakland A's,

which was not for sale. But as it happened, the Kings saga started to happen and we were contacted by Kevin Johnson, the mayor as like, Hey, do you have a group? Can we make it a better group with richer people than you, Andy, and see if we can save this team from being bought by Steve Ballmer and move to move to Seattle. And that's kind of what happened and so i'm like i'm in yeah this is great and then um i put my money in they said hey you know what we need everyone to double what they're putting in here i was like oh okay so i went back to my wife i was like hey the guys wanted me to put in

a double we put in she's like are you serious i was like yeah i was like but i love it i really want to do this and so we did and um it's a killer investment you know we bought the team for 500 million and i think forbes has this at like 1.8 and if we'd sell it it'd be over too i'm sure but you know it's not easy to to sell a minority sharing a team but um it's it's, it's exactly, it was just a passion for me. Do you follow basketball real closely? Yeah. Okay. I want to know. I don't, I hope you can answer if you're the 76ers,

do you trade Ben Simmons for D'Angelo Russell in a first round pick? I would say no, but there's always so many like permutations. You don't know behind the scenes what's going on. Like Ben Simmons, does he really want to stay in Philadelphia? You know, like, does he really get along with the coach? Are his parents annoying? He's a good dude.

Everyone knows that. I'd take him in a second, but they might not have a choice. Oh, yeah. You don't know, right? Everyone knows that. I'd take him in a second, but they might not have a choice. Ah. Yeah. You don't know, right? I follow the Sixers, for people listening. Their year is slightly disappointing. I don't think it's wildly disappointing like people are saying it is.

It's just a little below where they hoped they'd be. And they have two great players. Their second best player, they both belong in the paint that's that's their thing and trading him for a guy who shoots the three might be smart and i'm just i don't know people are talking about it wanted to get andy's thoughts i would want to own a sports team so like i could go to every game and just walk in like the king the king you know that thing that they let old people ride around on at the airport and you get jealous because they get to their gate faster?

The golf cart, yeah. Yeah, on my own golf cart. They're driving me around. I'm throwing coupons and shit at people. But you sit on top like the Popemobile. Yeah, I sit on the top like the Popemobile. Yeah, that'd be fucking sick. I don't think you have to

buy a franchise to make that happen i mean well if you try and steal the golf cart they send you overnight in jail they do not like we had that opportunity we had that opportunity in a way in that uh the old arena ako arena uh there's my boss in there arena arena and uh tomas uh was um beloved in the loudest arena in the world but a dump a total dump like you wouldn't believe how it decayed and it looked like it was in an office building and i remember going into the locker room first i was like oh my god my high school locker room was better than this it was pathetic they didn't have lockers it was just like a long you know uh rod and you put your shit on it and there were like three three shower heads and they were normal for like me but for if you're seven foot like they came up to your nipples you had

to like duck on your knees there was no room for the press and we didn't have any like owner's area it was terrible so when we started to design the new arena like we made this kick at we've got like a owner's little nightclub in there which is ridiculous and uh we got our own like owner's exit and um there's some cool shit it definitely there's some perks yeah oh i bet well if you're throwing down that much money there better be some fucking perks i'll tell you also sitting on the floor in basketball is like there's no sport like that there's nothing like that i mean what other game can you sit on the floor with the players literally my seats are to the right of the visitors bench and they sit down in front of us and check in you talk to the guys but

like you you're in the game i mean the balls come i brought my mom, and my mom's 88 and 89. And after about five minutes, she's like, I really don't feel comfortable here. Ice hockey has that. I was like, hockey's about as close as you can get to that. You can see how different it is down low with these guys. It's so physical, and they push each other. I sat behind the Red Wings during a Stanley Cup final game,

and after like a period and a half it was like their body odor is a problem am i the only one here it's like like i don't know if though this is good i need more glass or something it's it they stunk up the area yeah it's i might i have a whole thing with like going to sporting events. I've gone to a few different kinds of events, and I don't do it often, so when I do go, I go ahead and get the best tickets that are available. If I go to a Braves game, last time I went to a Braves game, I was sitting right behind where the player's family sits.

Families sit. And that was very depressing, because first of all, their tickets are free and and yet it's still just a little bit better than mine which was wildly overpriced and second of all like like um their food was incredible they were coming out of this little tunnel that they've got with like espresso and like cheesecake. I'm like, cheesecake? Who's got cheesecake down there? Where is this coming from? But still, even with what was literally the best ticket that you could purchase at the stadium,

I couldn't really get a grasp on how big the batter was. Is that guy 6'4"? Is he 5'9"? I don't know. It's all relative, right? Like they could all be giants or they could all be regular size guys. I can't tell when we went to, uh, um, uh, a UFC fight and we didn't get the best tickets you can buy.

We certainly weren't down there next to the cage, but we were in like the first row of seating that doesn't involve being in a folding chair. I hated it. I hated it. I was staring at the jumbotron the whole time.'s like i feel like i just paid to for the atmosphere mma is not that good in person i don't have to look through a chain link fence that's the truth of it i i did have a i couldn't see the fights that well but uh when i went to see joe fight in in japan like one of our friends of ufc fighter and uh i actually got his friends and family tickets i sat with the like all the family members uh you cannot talk shit about the fighters when you know there's you're surrounded by their family like like you know like this asian dude just lost and there's a

you know 52 year old asian woman right that could be his mom right his mom's here somewhere so uh she's got some moves yeah right i i yeah just you know be nice be polite yeah i i my only experience with being on the floor and with basketball was going all the way back to high school basketball you know but i love that that you there's something about being right there next to them it was it there's a lot of energy there. Like, like you feel like you're part of it. You can feel like the,

the concussion of their feet on the floor. And like, like you can, you're right there with them. You can, you're almost feeling the wind off these guys as they're playing. And then when we, uh,

last hockey game, uh, when Taylor and I were in, uh, Colorado and we watched the game and we were right behind the bench of, uh, whatever the team was, I don't know. Colorado avalanche. Yeah. Right behind the bench of uh whatever the team was the colorado

avalanche yeah right behind the avalanche bench and it was like man that's that's them right there those are the guys and it was like like there's this little piece of glass here is all that's keeping me from giving this guy a joe biden back massage right now right there but with like football like or baseball especially like the field of play is so large and i just feel like you're there for the atmosphere the overpriced food and look at the jumbotron and i'd just rather be at home where like the bathroom is eight steps away and like if i want a pizza i can order a whole pizza and it'll be eight dollars it won't be $10 a slice. Although here in Atlanta, we've got the fan-friendly pricing they're calling it at the Falcons games. It's ridiculously

cheap. It's $2 for a slice of pizza and $4 for a burger. Normal human being price is not... Because if you take your whole family, that's what I never think about because i'm a single guy i'm like man that was expensive that was 30 for my food but what if you took your family of four out and you've already bought tickets for them and you're not the guy who sold hayes host gator you're the guy who's you know you're like i'm gonna take the family out to the ballpark you're like oh my god four hundred dollars this was not worth it yeah so if you guys could buy a franchise each what sport would you buy it i would buy the

atlanta braves and finally put an end to a generation of whoa all right easiest i grew up here i believe the atlanta braves are the most disappointing franchise in sports history. Hear me out on this. No franchise has ever been so close to so many championships and failed so many times. We won our division like 15 years in a row and came out with one World Series. And it wasn't a fluke we had four of the greatest pitchers of all time starting for like a decade we held on to him forever Maddox and Glavin and Smoltz and Knobloch or somebody we had an amazing lineup we had a we had a famous coach fiery guy

who entertained the fans and and everybody was, well, we're not going to make it to the series or anything. If we do, we're certainly not going to beat those Yankees. But hey, we've got a good ball club. We whooped the Marlins again. Yay! So you'd go and make the right moves for the Braves.

I don't know what the right moves are, but I would find someone who would make those moves for me. All right. What about if there was a financial decision, not a personal decision? If you say, okay, I got a bunch of money I just made. What league do you feel would you put your money in? MLS, auto, esport, football.

I mean, baseball is probably not the place you put it in as far as a growing sport. So where would you guys go? Oh, that's interesting. That's a horse of a different color. Wow. See, I didn't think about the financial part at all. I was thinking I'm going to assume that I'd go for the St. Louis Blues because that's my hometown team. I only care about hockey.

It's the only sport I like. But we've already won the Stanley Cup now. The monkey's off our back so i buy the chicago blackhawks and i try to draft really well and i just feed easy trades to dog armstrong at the blues i'll pay i'll trade you patrick kane for that half full green gatorade well i, I guess so. I'm like, oh, sorry, city of Chicago. I got fleeced. And they'd be like, fucking ESPN articles. Like, is it appropriate for the

Xbox owner to show up to the game in full blues regalia? Well, it was inappropriate because they were playing Detroit. Yeah, I might be sabotaged. I'm looking for money. I don't even know. Like, what are the four major sports? Obviously, I might be sabotaged. I'm looking for money. I don't even know. What are the four major sports? Obviously, I would assume apparently not baseball.

I know not hockey. I would guess basketball if you're trying to make money because it's exploding in popularity. The basketball ones comes to my mind because it doesn't have the CTE issues, right? Like CTE is crushing football right now. People don't want their kids playing football in high school and such. That has to work its way into hockey too. And the love basketball and that's just an enormous market yeah yeah here's a big factor for you to think about you would probably have you guys heard of sort of the helmet hat theory you would not want to invest in a game where the players wear a helmet or a hat

and those are the games that are in more trouble because it's really really hard to create stars when someone's wearing a helmet or a hat for example best baseball players in the world if they were walking down the street right now go pick one right harper right if harper's walking down my street i 90 percent of people are gonna have no idea who he is because he wears a hat. Tom Brady they would, but that's more because of the outside of the game. Pick an amazing running back, right? They have no idea. I couldn't tell you half the guys on the 49ers here at all,

but then they're about to make the Super Bowl. You go down that list. And the reason why basketball players, like, you feel like you have more relationship or they're more human is you can see them you can understand who they are when they come down to the bench and they put their hand in their head and they you know they're upset you you kind of get it so you can market those guys and create stars and i think if you look at the games that have really taken off with millennials we're spending the money it's soccer and basketball and esports all right it was actually going to go with,

and it's probably a really stupid thing. I know it's a stupid thing the way the sport is currently set up, but mixed martial arts to me is the sport where you connect with your team, if you will, because it's just one guy. The most. And I've said this a lot, many times on this show, that the reason that I like mixed martial arts more than any team sport

is because teams are, for the most part, at the professional level, what's the word I'm looking for? Where you're just a hired, they're just hired guns. You know, they're just- They're like mercenaries. They're mercenaries.

That's what I was looking for. They're mercenaries. Whereas, you know, What isn't Atlanta brave? Is that a Native American from Atlanta who loves to fucking hit dingers? No, it's the guy from Chicago who's getting paid $12 million to come disappoint the fans of Atlanta this year.

It really means nothing if you really boil it down and you're cheering for the uniform in the end and your own city's pride. But the city's pride thing is just... Unless you take the helmet and hat thing times 10. I prefer my athletes to show up in their underwear. Exactly. You mentioned seeing that basketball player's head in his hands

and seeing the anguish or maybe even the physical pain of whatever's happening in the game. Multiply that by 10. Now you get to see the guy, sometimes you literally get to see them poop their pants because they've just been knocked. I can name a few. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like, like there's nothing, there's, there are a few things in life that are more humiliating than being beaten up in front of a crowd of people. You know, it's, it's, it's,'s it's it's it's got to be right there with public speaking if you're a high school age boy it's like i don't want to get beat up in front of everybody and it happens in isolation right like so there's a

certain there's a certain like just innate kind of embarrassment of losing a fight like that, that's, that just exists. But, um, uh, like when it's your career, that adds to it when it's all that stuff. And, you know,

it happens in your underwear. And, and I become fans of fighters who lose. Well, the Dominic Cruz did at one time, he got out there and he said, you know what? I was healthy.

I was the best me. I was just the second best guy out there tonight. And, uh, you know, they're like, yeah, obviously you're unhappy. It's like, I don't know. Unhappy is what second best guy out there tonight and uh you know they're like yeah obviously you're unhappy it's like i don't know unhappy is what you're looking for i just you know i gotta look at the tape see how i can get better and be a better me next time around

and and he lost so well conor mcgregor loses very well usually um he goes out here just like yeah you know i didn't manage my energy efficiently i got by the second round i had nothing left you know if i didn't knock that guy out in the first, we got to improve the strategy. And it's like a guy who loses well, it could create fans. Yeah. So I don't know if the business model is there,

the way it is for a team. In fact, I know that it's not. But if I could invest in a, if I could buy a mixed martial artist, that's what I'd do. That's what, because he's an army of one out there. a mixed martial artist, that's what I'd do. He's an army of one out there.

You know he's always given everything he's got. You show him off to your friends at your fancy parties. Come on in here, boy. Give him a flex. It's like a fucking plantation. You're a fucking Leonardo DiCaprio from Django. That's literally what I'm saying. I hear what you're saying, Kyle.

Although I think as a business, it's the opposite of a good investment, right? It is. I can guarantee you the Sacramento Kings will be interesting 10 years from now, and whichever fighter you're interested in won't be.

He'll be retired. Yeah, I invested heavily in the Chuck Liddell's. Right, right? Come on out here, Chuck. Oh, he's lost again. Flash the light. Andy, if you could control such

things, and this is basketball in particular, do you want your players to participate in social media and increase their reach and brighten their star? Or would you rather have them stay off social media so it doesn't get in their heads? What's your feeling on that? Oh, I think social media has been like't get in their heads like what's your feeling on that oh i think social

media has been like the key to the nba i mean it's like look at the king's twitter it's hilarious i tell our guys at ng all the time like copy that like social media has made the nba first real league to adopt it on all these platforms the nba is 365 days a year there's no other league like it right the season that we're already talking about, before the season ends, you're talking about draft, the draft picks, and then you're talking about college, you're talking about, okay, free agency for a whole bunch of time, and then summer league,

and then the feuds and the beefs, and these two guys are going to go with these guys. It's amazing. The negative side is that the players are way bigger than the teams, but maybe that's the way it should be. It's amazing. The negative side is that the players are way bigger than the teams, but maybe that's the way it should be. It's their league, and people come and pay them to see them, not necessarily.

So you don't know this, but I'm a returning NBA fan. I followed it as a kid in the last two years or so. The social media part of it is a lot of what sucked me in. Look, I like the baskets and the jumps and the blocks, and that's fun to follow. But the interaction between the players, the beefs, whatever Joel Embiid is saying this week is hilarious to me. But I wondered on the other,

there's some downsides to it too, right? Like Markel Fultz, I think it gets in his head. I probably mispronounced that. Kevin Durant, I know it gets in his head. He makes dozens of fake accounts and likes his own stuff. Oh, is that that guy? Replies to himself. Yeah, which is hilarious.

You know, you get Jimmy Butler, right? He has a YouTube channel. And his YouTube channel is like inspiring to me. And it's interesting to see what kind of workouts they do too. And there's pros and cons. I was just wondering how you felt. That's all. Yeah. Oh, look at, I i mean you want to sell tickets like last night jimmy butler got in the

beef with i can't remember who got kicked out and they started to fight he gave him the finger on the way out and jimmy butler you know blue kisses and he's like you're a pussy you suck you can't guard me and then he gets into the press conference after and he's like i feel bad for the guy he's he's trash he's garbage and next time he plays i'm gonna absolutely fucking kill him and then he gets on his social media after and he takes oh he looks up the date oh march 3rd he circles it and he's right you're a horrible player basically good i'm gonna crush you on this day and he posted it and it's everywhere you know it's he was playing mind games with the with the other guy's coach he's like if i was his coach i wouldn't put him on me i'm gonna ruin him

i don't know what i if i'm coach i i i was a swimmer in college our coach would put us like if it was me and another guy and our times were really close every single time he'd put you in and say would he get it done and uh sometimes i got it done sometimes i didn't but i always like that you know if he saw a head-to-head like that, he'd say, you know, he'll get it done. And that felt good to me. Regarding owning the Kings, would you rather, if you had to pick one, you know, you're halfway through the season or three quarters, whatever,

and it's like, God damn, our bottom line, not nearly as profitable as we were hoping to be, but wow, the team is killing it. We're top of the league. We're expected to storm through the playoffs, or would you rather the opposite of, man, we're money hand over fist, way better than we projected, but good God, we suck. Well, the latter has been what the Kings have been forever.

I mean, we have the most, I don't know if you guys ever been to Sacramento, but it's a wonderful city. It's growing like crazy. And it's like a Midwestern city, but out here in NorCal. And it's the most loyal fans in the world. You bleed purple. It's in a one team town, although we got an MLS team. And it is, you grow up just like you with your Braves. Like if you don't root for the Kings, you're out, you know, and they show up at three in the morning when the plane comes in just to make the guys feel good and we've never won we're the longest team I believe in any pro sport now not to win a championship and we've been in the playoffs oh now you are yeah so uh but the team they sell out like Really interesting, quick story. So we do phenomenally well with attendance because they're so supportive. But when the team, when the fans wanted to get rid of the Maloose, because the Maloose weren't spending money, that's the group we bought the Kings from,

they weren't spending money, they weren't creating a winner, and it was dysfunctional. They had, I forget what they called them, but basically blackout dates. And they'd organize themselves and they'd say, okay, on February 5th, no one go. And nobody went. And then they'd go, we're going to do it again on March 5th.

And nobody went again. And it was amazing. And it just showed the league, like, don't fuck with us. This is our team. This is our city. You guys got to put a great product out here because we're supporting you and we deserve to have the team. And that was one of the reasons why when they voted when bomber bomber bought the

kings technically for like two billion dollars when we bought the kings but before we bought the teams and he applied to move them to seattle uh and um we uh came in and worked with the commissioner and we said we can't spend two2 billion in Sacramento Kings, but if we create a stadium and keep the team in Sacramento, will you guys allow us to buy the team? And there was a vote and Bomber needed 75% of the owners to approve the move. And they voted it down a couple times. And the reason was Sacramento just deserves to have a team because they're wonderful fans and they support the team. And it's a small market that, you know, always comes up big. So bottom line is now, if we had that question, you ask, yeah, we, we, we spend money and

we fire coaches and hire like crazy and we try and, you know, we're not, we're not winning it, but we're trying. And so I think everybody would just do anything for a winner there. You know, in Sacramento, they talk about the glory year. Glory year. We almost made it to the finals. Your typical Atlanta Braves year. Do you think the West is that much tougher than the East,

even this year? If you asked me that before the season, I'd say yeah. But now I think there's so many teams around the A spot. Probably the East is pretty good. I like the idea. It hasn't gone through about reseeding into the playoffs so that when you get to the playoffs, you can have two Western Conference teams in the finals. I think that's kind of a cool idea.

So they've been voting on that. I need to know more to form an opinion. I'm not up to speed on that. The idea was they want to have a mid-season classic so that i've heard about like in like not an all-star game but a real tournament that means something and figure out how to motivate everybody to want to play hard and win and it's got to be worth something uh just like in esports adam silver is the best commissioner out there in the world and he loves esports and he sees you know what these tournaments do and keep fans engaged and have it meaning meaning something and then at the end of the season the top eight or whatever teams they receive them by record or whatever their point

structure is so that you know it's not number one team in the east number one team in the west and uh you can have some you know some stragglers there. The mid-season classic, the tournament you were talking about, I heard every player was going to get a million for winning on the winning team. Does that sound right? You're trying to figure out how to motivate. That's a weird thing, right? I don't know. Imagine I'm trying to pick a great player or something.

I'm LeBron James, and I carry this team. If I'm LeBron James and I carry this team. If I'm LeBron, that million's not my motivator. My motivator is getting that 10th, 11th, and 12th guy on this team to have an extra. I'm doing something for my boys. That's what it's about to him, I would think.

I like the idea. I want to watch it. I like it too. I think it could work, but they have a lot to figure out. Yeah. Yeah. And then I guess if you do well, you play more games,

which is the impact on the regular season sometimes. I don't know. Cool stuff though. Yeah. Again, I'm a new NBA fan, but they're trying stuff. They're out there just like, how can we make it better?

What's new? What are good ideas? I don't see football making any kind of changes like that. If you listen to Adam Silver, and he talks about e-sports a lot, and he's like, I want the NBA broadcast to look like Twitch. I want to have everyone talking in chat going on this side.

I want to have statistics everywhere. I want betting. He loves betting, you know, betting, betting, betting, betting everywhere,

right? I want to be able to control camera angles. I want you to sit, get your Oculusting, betting, betting, betting everywhere. I want to be able to control camera angles. I want you to sit, get your Oculus Rift on and sit courtside. They're great. That's why the NBA is phenomenal. Baseball, I love it to death. My kids won't even go with me.

It's too long. It's boring. Come on. Also, as I process it in my head, I think NBA, the game, and esports too actually, naturally lend themselves to broadcasting a little better than some of the other sports do. It's complicated to broadcast hockey and NFL football and things like that.

Basketball's no obstructions. It's all right there. You can have any angle you want. It's easy to do a great job. Let me ask you a hockey question since this has become a sports podcast i love sports love them hockey's my least favorite but i still love it and and i go to a playoff hockey game and i'm like this is the fucking coolest thing in the world there's nothing cooler than a playoff hockey game it's intense everyone loves it and i'm like god you just gotta go and then you'll be a hockey fan. And it never seems to translate, right?

The game doesn't grow, really. And maybe it's because the broadcast is so poor. They used to have the silver puck to try and travel. Oh, yeah, the glowing puck from the 90s. The glowing puck. That didn't last long. They tried. Oh, go ahead.

Sorry. No, I'm just saying, why do you think that is? It's such a great game. I played hockey my whole life. And I know how the flow of the game works. And so, like, before the puck leaves the guy's stick, I can kind of anticipate what kind of breakout they're going to do, what play they're going to do, what the goalie's likely to do with the puck,

given that, like, there's two offenders coming in, one from the left side or, you know, two on the left, whatever. And watching the people who don't know the game, they lose the puck constantly, especially on TV, where they'll just be like, wait, wait, wait, what the fuck? Oh, oh, okay, it's that. Wait, but what happened there? And then before they know it, they're three steps behind the play

because even baseball, they throw that fucker fast to one another in the infield, but there's nothing that comes close to as fast and hard as just a hockey pass is. to one another in the infield, but there's nothing that comes close to as fast and hard as like just a hockey passes and a shot. You know, you can track a, uh, you can track a home run better than you can a slap shot in hockey. You know, it's, it's, it's a darker disc. It's harder. Uh, it's a much shorter distance. You know, once they really crack that home or it's like, even if you miss it off the bat, you can kind of, Oh, Oh, now I got it again and I'm tracking it up. Wow. That's impressive. Whereas if they take a slapper from the top of the bat, you can kind of, oh, now I got it again and I'm tracking it up. Wow, that's impressive. Whereas if they take a slapper from the top of the circle, it takes.001

seconds for it to be there. And most of the time, if you don't know how to watch it, you just go, wow, that goalie must be a magician because somehow it teleported into his glove. So I think the speed of it turns people off. Tracking the puck, the boards obstruct your view and the other players. Shooting through the other players next to him in traffic is a big part of hockey. So you lose the puck all the time. Yeah, but everybody likes the hitting and everybody likes the fighting.

And I like those things too. So that's the easiest way to get people into hockey is saying there's probably going to be a fight. Yeah, I'm from the south and hockey's just not really a thing here. At least it wasn't for me because I didn't grow up. It's some affluent.

You guys lost the thrashers twice. We've lost. Yeah, they took our team away. But I mean, just as a kid and as a teenager, like I was so unaware of what hockey was. I do remember some of the games on Fox with the yellow glowy puck and just being like, well, I'm glad they've got that yellow glowy thing. Otherwise, holy shit. I wouldn't have no idea what's going on but you know it's it's such a it's so different than almost any other sport uh you know with the ice and the sticks and the puck

that that it's it's it's hard for a lot of people to get into if you you know if you didn't grow up playing it i'm sure you go up playing it. I'm sure if you grow up playing it, it's huge. That's the answer, right? We just said, what are your top three sports you'd probably invest in are the ones that are growing? Soccer, esports, and basketball. Those are the sports people grow up playing now. Most people never played football. They never played hockey for sure. They're not playing baseball anymore, which is why little leagues dying and major league baseball attendance is, you know, average age is 60 years old. So there's your answer, right? And, you know, if you don't grow it, you don't understand, if you don't play it,

you really don't understand how unbelievable these guys are skating around in a little tiny, you know, wedge of metal or they, or how insane these baseball players are thinking three steps ahead of what they need to do on a play. Yeah, exactly. And like, you're right. Like barrier to to entry is huge you can pick up a basketball and play in the street if you have a cheap net like you can have all your expensive hockey shit and still be like fuck well i don't have any ice time so i can't play right now i guess i gotta play roller which will just give you a bunch of bad habits for ice so yeah i i don't but i like you know i like hockey where it is fourth place fourth place down there they don't get roped into

like the silly nfl things where it's like we're all wearing pink jerseys this month you know the hockey's laying low you know we're we're under the radar and we're gonna probably continue to be lower and lower under the radar as basketball explodes and soccer's eventually gonna get huge because what just like basketball you just need a fucking ball i think you're going to pass baseball at some point like i i really do but baseball is just and it's a shame because like great stuff yeah at least hockey's growing baseball's shrinking you know and it's it's not for lack of talent like like like and it's not for lack of cool things still happening in the game. Like, Justin Verlander had a game in 2012.

He's down one run. It's the eighth inning. And he's very upset. Because, best case scenario, he's getting a no decision. Even if he strikes out all three of these guys. No decision. He's behind. Worst case scenario, he's getting a loss here, and he's already thrown 100 pitches.

Really commanding game. He only gave up two runs, but his team's got no offense. He's pissed. He throws one of the most incredible innings that's ever been thrown in Major League Baseball. It's not an immaculate inning, which, by the way, is nine pitches, three strikeouts. It's not an immaculate inning, which by the way is nine pitches, three strikeouts. It's not a perfect inning. It's not three pitches and three quick pop flies or anything like that. He starts throwing over 100 miles per hour with more than 2,700 RPM on his pitches after throwing 100 pitches. no one's ever done that before

except for him and he's done it like 45 times no one's ever done it in the history of major league baseball since they've been tracking the speed he just keeps losing because his team sucks no he'd not he strikes out but all three batters in that inning with 11 pitches, and they're absurd. First, he throws like a 100-mile-per-hour rising fastball, like a four-seamer with a lot of RPM on it. Then he throws an 81-mile-per-hour breaking ball or something like that, this loop-de-loop pitch that makes an all-star look like a goober. And just in succession, all three batters, and he never smiles. He's so pissed. He knows he's coming away from this with, at best, like I said, a no decision.

This is a guy who prides himself on his win-loss record. And it's incredible. Nobody cared. Nobody even knows about that shit. Nobody knows. I didn't until just now. Yeah. You have to watch

obscure YouTube sports videos to know about things like that. That exists on YouTube. It's got 70,000 views. It's literally the most impressive inning ever pitched in Major League Baseball history. More views than the game. I hope we got that.

Probably so. They need baseball players, and i guess football players to start being more like basketball players putting their faces out there on social media more like drumming up interest having little spats because like i mean i follow lots of sports i don't i don't watch any nba stuff but i follow a lot of the people and you know sports sites on twitter and all of the good drama is between nba people it seems like. It seems like it's all NBA players. And that's something that hockey also has to overcome because it'll be like, oh, man, everybody's super excited

about this guy, Alex Ovechkin, coming into the league. And then everybody wants to interview him, and he's like, I don't speak English. Ask my agent. And it's like, well, how are we supposed to get excited about this guy you know like he he's just gonna answer unless you like blooper interviews which are good like that actually i did watch that really good japanese player baseball interview where they're like asking him he's like so you're feeling more comfortable it's like

that's awesome yeah some of those guys are really endearing, the guys who have a tentative grasp on the English language. I understand how marketing works. I grew up watching professional wrestling. I watched Hulk Hogan pretend like he hated the other guy every night. I knew he didn't really hate that guy, and he's not even going to really hit that guy. But I was still a little more pumped up to watch him go out there and do his thing right i feel like all the sports need that because it doesn't matter how how smart we are and that we're on to their game you know i we were talking about mma earlier yeah these guys don't always hate each other but they always say

they hate each other and it works works. It works. It sells more tickets. It builds more interest in the game. Can we get that into e-sports? Can we get some trash talking? Some real mean stuff, though. Real mean spirited. Oh, I've played Xbox Live 10 years ago. That's what the kind of trash talk they need. They bring that back. These guys all know how to trash talk. They're professional gamers. That was even more fun in the game back in the day. That's big for me. I feel like nowadays, do you think it's a thing where players are told maybe by coaches or higher-ups,

hey, don't say anything about the Patriots. The last thing we want to do is have them put that newspaper clip on their wall in the locker room and have their coach getting them fired up pointing at what you said about Tom Brady. Is that a real thing? Yeah. How do we get an echo kick in?

Do we know? I don't know. Andy, are you getting an echo? No. Then it's you. I haven't touched anything. Something happens. Let's figure it out. Andy, are you getting an echo? No. Then it's probably too much candy. I haven't touched anything. Something happens. It's figured out.

Oh, now I'm not echoing. Oh, no, I am. I'm going to shut up. I'm not going to shut up. That's weird. Hello. Hello. Well, I don't know how to fix it.

Well, I don't know how to fix it. Well, I don't know how to fix it. You know, Kyle, this could be a time to tell our listeners about a sponsor. We're going to add a little reverb on it. Yeah, what the hell changed? Yeah, I think you're getting a feedback thing going on, Andy. Paul, I'll move my phone. How's that? 1, 2, 3, 4.

1, 2, 3, 4. Nope. Nope. Still doing it. Still doing it. Can I mute? 1, 2, 3, 4. Well, it was definitely him.

Yes. That was funny, Andy. it was definitely him yes that was funny Andy so Andy do you have us playing through your speakers yes just my laptop I'm pretty sure your laptop mic is picking up your speakers I'll have speakers just my laptop mic is picking up your speakers. I don't have speakers, just my laptop.

How do you hear me? How do you hear me? It's coming through the laptop. Oh, I have a... I think it's just through my laptop. I have my laptop connected to... Here, I can do this. Let's see if this works.

I can take you off of my second screen. Is that any better? One, two, three. One, two, check. That made the delay between the reverb and the speaking slightly longer. Well, if you have a headset, you can plug in that. If you have a headset, you can plug in that. That would fix it.

I have – that looks like a douche. I got the ear pods. That'll work. People use those. Alright. If I must, hold on. Do you want to maybe mute him in the interim and I will do a quick ad since Taylor's walked away?

Yes, hang in there. I'm going to do the interim and I will do a quick ads and say what's walked away. Yes. Hang in there. I'm going to do the same because I can't stand to hear myself come back. So just give me a, we're ready for you, Kyle. Okay, great. Yeah. We'll tell everybody about Postmates. This episode of PK is brought to you by a company that we have a lot of personal experience with, Postmates. You know what's great about eating your favorite thing? It's your favorite thing, and you're eating it. You know what's not great?

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I think that may have fixed it. It did. It is fixed. Yes. All right. Thank you so much for accommodating us. That's going to drive me insane. Oh, no.

Oh, no. We don't have you speaking anymore. So it didn't fix the problem, but it changed it, which lets you know we're close. Can you hear me? Yes. Nailed it. Alright, I think we're good. Excellent. I don't know. Hold on.

No, you've got it. It wasn't coming. Well, it isn't happening, so that's a good thing. Alright, we'll just go with it for a while. Problem solved. It could be you just go with it for a while. Problem solved. It could be you just turn the volume up, maybe.

Is that possible? Could be. Okay. All I know is I can't figure out how to work. It comes straight out. I find myself like, you know, they shift. I just can't. I'm just not cool with them. Yeah, I can't wear them. After maybe

10-15 minutes of wearing earbuds at all, it really hurts my ear. I haven't found a pair of earbuds that I can wear. You feel like your ear canal is small? Maybe. Maybe I've got virgin ear canals. They're too tiny.

I have to wear a full-on headset or it it's a it really hurts it aches especially like those cheapo things you get on an airliner yeah those are lousy i i uh i like earbuds i don't have the problems of the dream that you do but what i do they come out a little bit or halfway. So I push them in overly hard, and then I just do that for a while until I'm unhappy. Okay. Same. So which games do you have in energy right now?

We have a lot. So for Overwatch, we're the San Francisco Shock. For the upcoming Call of Duty League, we are the Huntsman, the Chicago Huntsman. And then we have under Energy, and it's pronounced Energy, right? And everyone always says NRG, which drives me nuts, but it's Energy. I think it's Shaq's fault because he always says NRG. You ever notice that all these casters are always British or Austrian?

And I was like, NRG! And I was like, NRG! And I was like, no! E-N-E-R-G-Y. We have Fortnite and Apex and Rocket League and Nairo for Smash and Gears of War. That is a lot of games. Yeah. Yeah, we have 89 teams.

Which ones are the top games right now? The top games from sort of like, I would say a viewership perspective for e-sports. League of Legends is number one. Massive Asian viewership. And then it's kind of all over the place. Overwatch does well. Fortnite is huge, depending on sort of the setup um dota pretty big did you say you had a

call of duty team or not right now yeah we have we've got optics well we got hector and scump and the huntsman and that's the old sort of optic group right right i call duties the game i've been playing lately so i have an interest in it. But on the competitive level, I feel like it's not peaking right now in terms of... Well, there's been nothing. There's been no games. There's been nothing for a bunch of months. So the Call of Duty League starts in two weeks. There's 12 franchise teams, 10 in the US, one in London, and one in Paris.

And it's exciting. The teams are great. There's a lot of banter already between the two. I think if you're ever going to have the, you know, full on, full on beef in college duty. And we have a model that's travel local. So we're playing games. I'll do the pitch here. If you will, April 4th and 5th in Chicago at Wintrust arena. If you want to go to tickets, it's it's a Huntsman tickets.com.

So you Hector and the boys there and some big surprises, but yeah, we play, we go to Minnesota, we go to Dallas, we'll go to Atlanta with phase. We'll go. Which city is April 4th? April 4th in Chicago. That's us. That's's our home that's our big weekend uh so it's a tournament every weekend's a tournament eight of the 12 teams will be in every weekend and it's a point system working its way from the tournaments to a grand sort of finale that's cool i'm looking now i want to see that i'm glad you told me about it i'm fired up what's cool also is cod's the only

one that we broadcast on Twitch are scrims. So you can just jump on now and watch us. We scrimmed, I think, Faze all day today. And it's really fascinating watching the pros scrim and learn and try and work on their stuff at the same time. So I think it's going to be good. I think there's some skepticism on the local idea, the local market. But, you know, look at Kyle's conversations. Like, he's all Atlanta. He's rooting for the city, not the players in the uniform. And that's sort of the idea with esports as well.

Can you get that purple, bleed purple Sacramento Kings love in Chicago for the Huntsman or in NorCal for the Shock? So we're going to give it a shot. It's going to be a lot of travel, especially for Overwatch. Like, the Shock's first, our first road trip is to China. Oh, cool. To Seoul for five weeks.

That's quite a road trip. Yeah. We're going to Chengdu and Shanghai and Seoul and it's going to be awesome. Wow. That is more than a road trip. That is extreme.

Wow. They'll do about 70,000 miles this year for the Overwatch League. Damn. I've never played Overwatch, but it must be very popular for this many people to go. Yeah, I've never played Overwatch either.

We've asked about, you know, the sports, the past business stuff. I'm curious, like, you're a wealthy guy. You know, you keep yourself occupied with your work all the time. Is there, you know,

a hobby or a couple hobbies that you pour yourself into when you're trying to, you know, like, kind of put some blinders on to the rest of the stuff you're trying to get done? That's my problem.

No. I'm kind of like my dad now. It's like energy started as a hobby. Literally, it was me and Shaq and this guy, Mark Masteroff, who's a great friend, King's co-owner, founder of 24 Hour Fitness. Self-made. Wow. Great American success story. Well, much more wealthy than I am.

And this was our hobby we're like oh let's let's get a new let's do a league of legacy let's like do this thing and then it kept growing and then we would need to raise a bunch of money and jack's like bro if we're gonna you gotta be the ceo if we're gonna do this i'm like oh i mean i love it okay i didn't like i was doing other stuff like all right and i got like off all the boards I was on. I bet you I spend 14 hours a day on it. Easy. It's non-stop. It never ends.

We got guys in Australia, people playing in London. We got visa issues. We're doing Hector and the guys are in Dallas. We're building a studio in LA. It's cool. I'm building that media company that was always what I wanted to do. I got gotta tell you, it's a grind. It's like, I've never had a virtual office before, you know, like people are all over. It's definitely different. But

if, when I do other hobby stuff, music, like I love going to concerts and I just love sports. And my new hobby is kind of college football because I went to a college that was a small division three school and had a nice football team. But like, I never, I never had that tailgate game day experience. I never went to, you know, the big house with a hundred thousand people. So I can turn on college football and I don't have a team. So I like, I root for everybody. I love it. Like I'll just watch a game and be like, this is a weird experience, not having an interest in a particular team. You went to the best hockey school in the country, though.

I went to a great division. Well, Division I now. When I was there, it was Division III. Which one are you talking about? Union or Boston College? Boston. Yeah. Well, Union, we won the national championship in hockey.

Union College. Smallest school ever to win a Division I national championship in anything. Five, six years ago somehow, we don't know how, but when I was there, it was Division III, and then I think it was Army or something who left Division I, and we were asked to take their

place, even though Union had been banned for life from Division I back in the 70s and early 80s when they made this powerhouse team of like canadians who are all like 25 years old and you know and we got this killer rink and the whole thing and then um they came back and we've been like a top 10 team for five six seven years now but they literally won the national championship against i think michigan or minnesota and it was it was unbelievable.

It was like the coolest thing ever. Yeah, it's really cool. In fact, I think I'm wearing my Union national champion hockey shirt right now. Look at that. They even know you're a hockey fan. There you go. There we go. Boom. In fact, they gave me the puck.

I think I'm the only famous alumni, and I'm hardly famous, from Union. Where is that bad boy? And they gave me the puck from the championship. What? That's really cool. That's really cool. Oh, it's incredible. It's a great school.

I love it. It's like, yeah, I just happen to have the national championship puck. Well, you know, I don't know where I keep it, but it's probably around here somewhere. It's with all my other various memorabilia. My nasty office.

Oh, here it is under the Toronto Raptors basketball. It was hiding behind my Mark McGuire bat. That's really cool. Super cool. Some goalies are like, yeah, this is going to my mantle. And they're like spoken for. The guy that we hope gives us a bunch of money. But it's funny. I'm actually so my son just did the college recruiting, the college process and went to a bunch of schools.

I'm like, hey, you want to go check out Union? Union's in Schenectady, New York. So let's be honest, that's not like the big desirable. He ended up in LA, but I was like, you got to come check it out. You got to see my fraternity. You got to like go up there and then, you know, get this big tour. And I remember like a year or two early, I did like some video for Union. And it turns out that when you do the tour at the end of the tour, you go into the admissions office and you sit through like a four minute movie. And then they have like a bunch of alumni at the end. And there I am, like the before and after.

Picture me with like amazing hair. Oh, here it is. This is it. This is my amazing hair. I literally wasn't involved my whole life. Look at that. Wow. That's a handsome fellow.

That's a damn shame. That's my fraternity picture. That's executive hair right there, right? And that picture. And then there's another picture of me looking like this, holding a basketball going, Sacramento Kings owner. Like, you know, like I'm the only guy there. And my son was like, oh, this is horrible.

So every now and then someone will take their kid on a tour at Union. I'll get like this random LinkedIn. They're like, I just saw your video. And it's like, oh, it's horrible. But it's a great school. Yeah, it's fun. You mentioned the hair thing what exactly does lebron james do for his hair like for for the longest time his hairline was the greatest

comeback in all of sports and then it got like exposed this year something happened is it is it glued on do we know maybe you don't want to talk about it. I don't have a comment at all. You're a smart guy. Sacramento Kings owner on Bumfuck Podcast exposes LeBron's secret. LeBron's secret. Hey, LeBron James, I don't know him at all, very well

at all, but I can tell you I asked for a favor from him for a charity, a medical charity that i'm involved in and i was like hey is there any way we're gonna have an auction like i don't even know the guy right and within a second he was like yeah cool and took his shoe off and right after the game signed it and gave it to us like just good person that's really nice of him the i forget the details of what he did but he created a school.

Maybe it's in Akron, Ohio. It was a pretty big deal and a pretty big investment. Personal investment. It's one thing to raise other people's money, which is nice. It's another thing entirely to give your own, which is what he did. Well, he did both, but yeah. Good guy.

I'm more of a raise other people's money charity kind of guy. Not so much. Couldn't make a big don't know anyway. That's really cool. Maybe someday we'll all own sports teams. There you go. Is 100 Thieves still in the game? I think they decided

not to buy or couldn't. They have the money. They decided not to do it. I think Nades not to buy or couldn't. They have the money. They decided not to do it. I think Nadeshot's big decision, the big factor was that Activision, which I don't like, but if you, like we got into Blizzard Activision, we got into Overwatch, and instead of being Energy, they made you come up with a new name that they own the IP for. So we're the San Francisco Shock.

So we would have loved to been this you know chicago energy uh and so now we have three different brands which is challenging on some level so uh he just wanted to keep everything hundred thieves which is you know not um a bad decision right yeah it's complicated and is it is it 22 million to have a call of duty team do i have that number right um it's around there it's a little bit more 22 million to just to found the team like the participated in the league yeah so overwatch is the one that's been reported so we paid 20 million for the first 12 teams paid 20 million there's 20 teams now for their franchise spot, which gave you a territory. We have all of Northern California for the Chicago Huntsman.

We have Illinois, Indiana, and Milwaukee. We own everything Call of Duty in that territory and in perpetuity, the team. You pay that out over a number of years. It's a lot. I wish it was lower. It should of years. It's a lot. I wish it was lower. It should have been. It's complicated. Yeah.

I just, I don't, I don't understand the payback, but it could be there. Who knows? Well, here's the payback, right?

Bought Sacramento Kings for five years ago for 500 million. Now it's worth $2 billion. So that's the payback, right? If you, would you buy any professional team for $20 million, you know, now? Yeah, of course. How many years it grows.

The Yankees were bought for, it was the anniversary of Steinbrenner buying it this week for $11 million. Like, yeah, that's a good deal. Yeah. Recent history. I want to say the Marlins became a franchise in 92. They won a series in 97, kind of unheard of. And then right after that, their owner was like, this is not.

He just had bought the team. I should say that. He bought the team in 96, won the 97 World Series. Right afterwards, he's like, you know, I thought I'd make more money doing this. And they're like, they did the math. They're like, you made $13 million this year. And he's like, no, I lost 24. You know, he's, he's, he's not counting his, his, his parking, his concessions and several other things. And now I lost 24. I paid $24 million to give you a World Series, Florida. Either you buy me a $300 million stadium,

or I'm slashing the budget down to 15% of what it is. It was about $53 million at the time. Yeah, it's like sports terrorism. And then I'm selling the team. He literally did that. He was like, either the people of Florida are going to give me a quarter billion dollar stadium, or I'm going to cut the budget down to about $20 million

and sell the team and they that's what he did he slashed the budget they lost every single one of those players within like two and two two seasons or something like that except for like one i think he had a rotator cuff thing they won another series in six years like how is that possible atlanta should be taking notes then yeah yeah i mean that that dickhead cronky did that to us with the rams in st louis where he was like like oh yeah if you guys get to build us a new stadium you know with tax dollars we'll stay and everyone was like ah you bastard okay and then And then he's like, oh, psych. Psych.

Actually, I'm moving. Fuck you. And then he leaves. But the team's worth a lot more now. Now we have a. How do they play in this nice stadium you guys bought us? Yeah. Well, I mean, it wouldn't be.

They're building a nicer stadium here now. That they're supposed to be using. But yeah. I don't know. I hope the Rams are terrible. I don't even watch the NFL, but fuck that asshole Kroenke. He owns the Avalanche too.

No hard feelings towards them though. All right, so it's been about a week now since I'm switching topics a little bit. I don't want to go too deep into politics. That's never fun. Yeah, that shit's boring. Did Trump do a good thing an incredibly reckless stupid thing that just luckily turned out okay i think he did i think he might have

so uh andy you don't know i'm the biggest trump critic on the on the call and uh but it appears that he traded iran's number two a queen, we'll say in chess, or a couple of empty buildings, a pawn at the most. If you take out a queen with a pawn, I mean, look, this game doesn't end ever, so we'll see where that happens. But, I mean, if we could have traded a few empty buildings for Osama bin Laden or Saddam Hussein, I think they would have made that trade. If Trump did that, and this game really does end with that score,

you have to admit it went super well. Yeah, I think we're probably closer to like halftime than we are to the end. Here's why we are not at halftime in my personal opinion. It's because we found out today

that iran accidentally shot down its own airliner and killed 180 some odd people roughly maybe 173 mostly their own airliner did you say that right yeah it was a ukrainian airline that was flying out of tehran out of iranian airspace yeah but but it was mostly populated by Iranian citizens. And then I think Canadians made up like 73 maybe of the people on board. Oh, geez. Yeah. And of course, one of the things that they shamed the U.S. on in their propaganda and stuff like that, and they even mentioned it maybe five days ago, was that I believe the united states accidentally shot down perhaps an iranian airliner back in the 80s yeah and and so they bring that up

a lot how we accidentally shot down that airliner terrible tragedy obviously but then they did it like three days later like in the modern era two wrongs make a. Let he who hath not shot down an airliner cast the first stone. That's what we say here all the time. Ukraine and Russia is like, dang it. Alright. Do we know that's what happened? We know that's what happened. There's a video of the missile hitting it.

The Canadians have independently confirmed it. Our government has independently confirmed it. And there are not state sponsored, but independent Iranian news agencies who have confirmed it as well. But you can see the missile hit the thing. That's really sad. On

Twitter video. Terrible. Yeah, I haven't watched that clip. Shocking. You know, 180 people who were just going home. There was one gentleman who because of some sort of ticket mistake, he had to stay in the terminal and his wife's on the plane. Oh, he's about to get final destination.

He just got final destination. He's about to be. There's going to be coffee shops collapsing on him and scaffolding. You know how it works. We've all seen the films. Can you remind me how it works? I think I've inferred it. You're supposed seen the films can you remind me how it works i think i've inferred

it but when you're supposed to die and therefore you didn't and then so death comes after you in the most ridiculous kinds of ways like like making like rube goldberg machines to kill you essentially a lot of the time um yeah that's the whole kind of premise of those of those films yeah those are shitty movies it's been a wild week in the news. I was, I was genuinely concerned for the first three or four days. You know, it seemed like Trump had really stepped in shit and acted rash. I'm not convinced that he didn't step in shit and just trip and fall into a pot of gold.

I think that's pretty much what happened. He did. He did do a thing that it seems like nobody really thinks was a good idea who isn't biased in their opinion even our european allies weren't stoked on it yeah and like yeah that's really reckless dude i was on the phone my dad today and and he was like was that a good thing or a bad thing and i was like you know it it depends who you ask right this is a few days ago this this oh this was today. Okay. Like, like, like just today. He was like, do you think that was a good thing or a bad thing that he took that

guy out? And I was like, well, it seems like that guy, that was a bad guy and maybe he did need taken out, but I don't think the way he did it was the appropriate way to do it. And, and, and in the year 2020, you know, but, but then again, I think that his critics would criticize him if he had literally taken out Satan or, you know, name a horrible, evil thing. What's the name of that movie? Is it Braveheart?

Where, like, the two leaders of the armies are like, we'll challenge each other to one-on-one mano-a-mano combat, and the winner of that determines it. It's just the king's fighting. Speaking of the king, or perhaps Game of Thrones? Or perhaps Game of Thrones? It's definitely

out there. I'm not just making it up. It's the English against the French thing. Or Troy, when Brad Pitt goes and fights Boagrius. Yeah, that was really cool. I was disappointed when Brad Pitt killed Boagrius or whatever because that guy was yoked and i was like i hope he like joins the team and he starts tearing shit up and then now he

got stabbed right in the goddamn collarbone ended him right quick that was but we need to get back to that because i don't know how tall the iranian number one guy is but i know he's not as fat as trump so we've got the weight uh weight class advantage if trump can barrel towards him and fall on him we could end this war in a matter of minutes. Trump has to be amongst men, right? Let's remove women from the equation. I think Trump is bottom 3% in fighting ability.

No, dude, bottom 3%? He is 74 years old or something? Oh, no, no. How old is the Iranian guy? He's old as fuck too, right? The guy that he killed? I don't know. He looked kind of fit to me. Let's see. Oh, the guy he killed. I wouldn't want to throw him in the ring against

that guy. I think Taylor's thinking more like of... I'm talking about their king. That bearded gentleman. Okay, I was going... Hassan Rouhani. Do you guys think Trump has ever been in a fight in his life? Come on.

Maybe in college. Maybe in prep school. I can believe a lot of people dislike him. Oh, if we start there. Yeah. I feel like if he, if he,

if he went through life without getting in a couple of fist fights, then, then, then he's not the man we think he is. I'm trying to find Rahan Ruhani. I just feel like he's going to be getting attacked left and right. You know? So the guy he killed was 63. Okay. Just, I'm trying to find Rahan Rouhani's stats. I just feel like he's going to be getting attacked left and right. So the guy he killed was 63.

And what is Trump? Is he 72? Yeah, he's like 72 or something. I think he's 73. I'll look it up. He's going to be 74 by the end of the year. He's 73, you're right. Yeah. And the other guy was 63.

That's 10 critical years, but only 10 years. No, not that guy. We're talking about the heads of state. Rohani is 71. And I can't find how tall he is online. And that is sometimes a sign of not being tall. I think we're better

off not doing the whole picking of champions thing. Dude, no, come come on i think we united states we we might beat hasan rohani who's 71 years old but i don't think we'll be a superpower anymore if we depend on trump to do our fighting personally i'm just absolute monster from iceland to like one man he just beats the shit out of trump like we don't we we did we did Some just absolute monster from Iceland. He just beats the shit out of Trump. We did make the rules.

Now we're part of Iceland. Here's Bjorn Bonecrusher, the Prime Minister of Iceland. We didn't think through the rules of one-on-one combat as Iceland and Northern Europe have taken over the planet.

Yes. Ridiculous strongmen. Eastern Europe with all their MMA guys. Would you take Trudeau or Trump in a fight, though? Trudeau, he's like 30 years younger. Yeah. And he's not fat. Yeah.

Trump must be exhausted like to bend over and pick up a golf ball must be exhausting for trump trump's on speed though oh counterpoint touche yeah does adderall make you a better fighter i don't think so it just makes you not sleeping more frenetic though and and and that that counts i'm gonna punch you so hard lots of people lots of smart people talking about how hard i can punch you better stay away you you stay in your sandy shithole over there whatever your name is this is how our politics discussions always go i was like do you think it was a good thing you think it was a bad thing but who would you want to fuck and who fights better yeah i i don't know i i like i said i don't want to get bogged down into politics but i just at the beginning of the week i was very afraid i

legitimately was i felt like we were literally one or two bad decisions not by leaders not by world leaders but perhaps by soldiers you know someone in the field hitting the wrong button away from getting into some serious international kind of trouble where other superpowers get drawn into this thing and lives are lost and horrible things could happen. Once the wheels start moving, I mean, we all know how World War

I started. Little ridiculous things can draw in the entire plan. They killed one guy. Fascinated one guy. So I think that if you don't think things are looking good right now, then you're not looking at it very clearly. Things look great. On the other hand, if you're Iran, what move would you make, right?

You've got this United States superpower who apparently can just freaking laser you from the sky anywhere, anytime. They hit his car. Right, they hit his car. So that's the capability we have don't you tell america no we're done it's cool we're chill and then they would lose your time and well that's what they've done right both trump has said hey i'd like peace and iran has said yeah i think we got your back everything's cool now no but see see that's listening that's what they're sort of

virtue signaling but what they're putting out on state media is we just slapped them in the face. We fired missiles into their bases. It's only just begun. And then people are like, oh, it's only just, okay, all right. Maybe ease up a little bit, but you don't have to be that hard on them. Let's let Andy jump in here yeah i think this one's really not about the perception of the people at all like there's a big chess game going on uh as to sort of a power vacuum of who takes over saudi arabia and all and all these country iraq and all these you know important locations

and if you notice like a couple couple of things happened. One, this guy, Salome, whatever his name is, he could have been taken out for the last 10 years. Obama didn't want to take him out. Bush didn't want to take him out because if you take him out, it created bigger issues than keeping him in there. And I think that was pretty obvious. The second most amazing thing was the second this went down, all of U.S.'s allies who have been completely turned out by Trump, I think it's just a fact, they were like, yeah, we're not going to comment on this right now. And Israel, who U.S. has been an unbelievable, you know, Trump is an unbelievable supporter of, they were like, oh, no, we didn't do shit here. We are not involved in this thing.

Do not fuck with us. Don't put your missiles towards us. This isn't our gate. We didn't plan any of this stuff. We weren't involved. So he was on his own. And the Iranians are like, okay, we can come back and, you know, with full force. And we can be honest also, like the Iranians bombed the oil refinery not that long ago. And they launched, I think, 20 missiles and 17 missiles hit within one meter of their target. So they didn't try and hurt anybody on this at all. They knew that there were no U.S. soldiers in this place. So I think they're just saying, there's no support for this, right? And what they want is what happened. The Iraqi government said, hey, America, get out. You're going to cause trouble in our country. They voted, and the prime minister said, we want the soldiers out. So imagine if that all happens. They've

already moved out of Saudi Arabia, right? They moved out of the Kurds. This is a big area for Iran. Iran's doing great right now under this far. This is also what Trump wants though. Russia. They're like, this is good. I don't want to mess this up.

We're getting everything we wanted over the last 10 years. I feel like Trump's getting exactly what he wants to, because I feel like Trump honestly does want out of those countries, but he's just having a hard time selling it. You know, If the Iraqis ask us to leave, maybe Trump got together with the Iranians and was like, look, you've been

complaining about that salami guy for a while. You don't care for him. Mutual problem. Maybe I take him out for you. You blow up the shed and I leave Iraq. Does that work for you? What do you mean you're gonna shoot down your own airline don't do that what what is wrong with you why would you do that what what did the

ukraine i didn't see ukraine coming into this at all i mean if that's what you want, no Americans will be on board. Canadians. Fuck Trudeau. This is a solid theory, Kyle. They call me racist. He's the one with the black face up there. It's probably, yeah. There was a poll out today, USA Today, just asked a pretty significant number of Americans if they felt more safe, less safe, you know,

since the events of the last bunch of days. And it was, I was really surprised. And it was the overwhelming percentage was less safe. And I feel less safe. I wanted to know the polling dates on that. That's huge to me because I felt a lot differently two days ago than I do today. Same. It was a day ago. Yeah, I came out today. So it was done two days ago. I just think we haven't seen any work. That's what I was trying to get out. If I'm Iran, the virtue signal I send right now

is we're done. We're cool. Chill, bro. No more. And then I lie about that and bide my time. That might be one strategy you use. The worst one to use is let's keep fighting.

Yeah, they're furious at us. Let's keep fighting with the United States of America that's not the signal you want to put out there you'd rather do it asymmetrically and go single ship three months from now did you see their statement did you see this Iran statement no like what they came out with they said you know this is a proportionate response given you know what happened blah blah blah right it was the most sane intelligent like response because when they're trying to flip the table and be like that trump's unhinged america's what the hell's going on here like we're the we're the good actor now like it's they totally flipped the tables reagan look unhinged too and it turned out to be really effective for him in dealing with the Cold War stuff, right? You know, Reagan asked for like, you know, disarmament at a level where, remember Kyle, you put that thing out there. You're like, we would say we have this small plan, this medium plan, and then this outrageously

great plan. And they would take somewhere in the middle. Trump put out this outrageously great thing. Let's disarm in this really wild way. And everyone was like, Reagan, I meant to say Reagan. Reagan, you're asking for too much. This is not a thing that the Russians will agree to. And they did. And it turned out to be really successful.

And part of it was like they didn't know what Reagan would do. Reagan looked unhinged. Reagan, you know, would threaten to bomb people. He'd do these television things. I'd watch him as a kid, you know. And he'd talk about Star Wars and all sorts of insanity. He was a cowboy literally yeah and i it turned out that that unpredictability worked in his favor

didn't trump say he was gonna like make i mean i know we already have like really really harsh sanctions on iran didn't he say he was gonna make him even worse yeah and i'm sure canada's gonna follow suit after because if he does like we're just, they're just going to get even madder at us over time. So I think that lends towards what you're saying, Woody, where eventually their economy will be in such shambles and shit that they're just going to be furious. At some point, how mad can they get? How much madder can they be?

It seems like they've been mad for so long. Yeah, well, a lot of countries are mad at us. And then it's complicated. Russians are giving them plenty of money they're somehow figuring it out they've had massive sanctions on them for since yeah forever of 1970 whatever it was i have a friend he served in the middle east and uh he watches the show by the way hey todd every time we talk about this he's all he like he's he's expert in the topic he did all these guys feel this way these guys feel this way these guys you know lead up through this chain of command and they

and uh my takeaway from it is always well one he seems to know what he's talking about and two boy oh boy this is complicated you know so to say like iran feels this way well iran actually is pretty divided and iraq is pretty divided divided. And some Iraqis are more loyal to Iran and vice versa, surprisingly. And yeah, they don't they don't think is a solid group. That's all. Well, I'm just glad that things didn't escalate out of hand. And it seems like it's on the way to a cool down, I think, especially because they messed up and shot down that airliner. I think that there I think that was a stroke of luck that. I think especially because they messed up and shot down that airliner. I think that they're... I think that was a stroke of luck.

I think it's a... It might end up being a stroke of luck for world peace that that happened. It's a terrible thing that it happened. You know what else happened? Like the same day, there was like a magnitude five earthquake also in Iran. It was so bizarre that all

three of those things were happening simultaneously and uh and i had to look on reddit at the end the comments to see what people were saying and they were like seismic attack question mark and i'm like no maybe yeah did trump release the the seismic attack weapons are they giving him the red button on those two do we do we have maybe i i don't it might just be an earthquake i saw a bunch of people the night of and i haven't seen anything of it since yeah uh so that's probably proven wrong people being like oh iran just tested an enormous weapon right there to show like oh fuck they've got heavier arms than we think and then since that evening i haven't seen a single person say that so I assume that's been

debunked. Yeah it definitely would be they definitely didn't detonate any sort of nuclear weapon Iran took out, I'm sorry, Israel took out Iran's nuclear site and that was the seismic activity look into it are you kidding around? I don't know

I'm fucking around and looking into it is code for stupid conspiracy theory. This is Eddie Bravo stupid conspiracy theory. Yeah, I got you. I got you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, this is the sort of situation where God knows what's actually happening, like, you know, behind the scenes with maybe even special forces or who knows what.

What if there's someone on that plane that they wanted killed? Right? Oh, man. For all I know, like someone who. That's the first thing I thought of. Yeah. Look into it. Hillary took the plane down to get rid of an Epstein connection. Oh, shit.

It happened. Oh, shit. That's what it was. They had a dossier. I don't have any evidence yet. She had the. There was somebody on that plane. There was somebody on that plane with both video footage.

They had the Trump pee tape and the Bill Clinton Epstein Island tape all on one freaking DVD. And they were heading to Canada with it to give it to Trudeau. Someone didn't set their phone to airplane mode and tweeted as they were taking off, I have information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton. And then that's what happened. She called her buddy in Iran and they all took care of it. Look into it. This is terrible.

I mean, sometimes you just have to use Occam's razor. That's the simplest explanation. Clearly Hillary's behind it all. If it was some dude who accidentally shot that, man, he's had a rough week he did i ran it's totally dead because if you think about it um if we were attacking the united states were attacking iran like like the first thing we always do when is take out those those missile uh sites right he's he's got you've got to imagine if you're that guy over there operating the missile site like you're the first guy on the target list if if the attack is coming and you being quick on the button might literally be the difference between not just winning the battle or winning the war but

surviving today you know and i just imagine the guys just better safe than sorry. I think that's literally what happened. You know, it seems really negligent that that could have even happened. It says Delta on the side of the airplane, like Delta Force. That's why I said that. It's the Delta Force. It's definitely them. It says American airline It wasn't a bad accent either

I don't know if it was or not It says American airline We'll never know I guarantee the guy who pressed that button is in a heap of trouble And I don't think Iran is the slap you on the back of the wrist kind of military. Yeah. What happened if one of our

guys did that? Well, they have done it. No, I don't think so. Johnson, not again! Yeah. You're on mass duty. Kitchen patrol. Yeah. They go like police style paid vacation yeah yeah yeah teach you to beat the shit out of people needlessly christ but yeah yeah i'm glad i'm glad

i feel like that was a literally dodged a bullet no not maybe not yeah yeah literally dodged some missiles maybe even yeah those guys didn't Another thing, you know, we always talk about statistics and events and facts. It's really hard to get like the actual data on and figure out what the hell happened. If there's any sort of political bias that can work its way in. Are these Australian wildfires? Because I have heard these two different reports, these conflicting ideas. One side of the argument wants to say, Hey, this is about climate change. This is, this is, this is about climate change.

That's why we have wildfires that we've never had before. And they probably got a point. The other side is like, do you know how many people were arrested for setting fires in Australia this week? Yeah. Apparently they caught a bunch of people. The other side, the blue team is saying that is fake news. That is right wing climate deniers making up that people were arrested. There were very few arrests and I'm sitting there like,

wait, wait, why are we in an age where I literally can't determine whether these were set by, why can't we just say, yeah, some people set some wildfires, and because the area is so dry this year due to climate change, the fires are very difficult to

control. Why can't it be both? Why can't it be both? I feel like both sides are lying to me about something that should be really easy to come together on, and that's putting out some wildfires. Let me ask you guys a question. So this is a big topic for me. I was on the board of the Weather Channel for like six, seven years, and that was a bunch of years ago as well. And boy, almost a decade ago, we had a bunch of climatologists, meteorologists from all over the world, and some generals, including the general who ran the base in the Philippines, come in and talk to the Weather Channel, talk to us executives like a think tank. And we brought them in because every time we put up something about climate change,

it was called global warming back then, it would tank. The ratings would tank. People would get upset. We'd get letters. Our sponsors would be upset. And so our great CEO at the time brought these guys in, especially the generals, because they were nonpartisan, right? He's like, I'm not a Democrat. I'm not a Republican. I can just tell you we're moving our base because it's sinking into the ocean because the ocean's rising and it's getting warmer and it's hard to deny it. And he literally went uh these

were guys from all over the world and some of them believe that you know there were different causes and not all of them believe like incomplete you know the doomsday the world's going to end in a certain period of time but it was about i don't remember how many years ago but like literally everything the guy said was going to happen he did he talked about incredible fires they talked about earthquakes they talked about incredibly cold winters and much more severe storms. And they said, stop calling it global warming because it's not really about, you know, hey, it's freezing out in Chicago today. Right. So I got to wonder, you know, especially with millennials like there's no in Gen Z, there's no bigger fucking topic or you know in their lives it's

going to affect their lives probably going forward or their kids lives or their quality of life you know being able to go outside and yet it's still this like no one wants to didn't even make the list for the democratic debates it wasn't the top five issue that people wanted to hear talk about and and there's still tons of people who don't believe in it. And it just seems like it breaks down on party lines on some level also. And I just don't understand how this is a partisan issue. Like, what do you guys like? Why do you see that? are responsible for climate change. And, and to admit that it exists is almost to admit to a degree of culpability there. And, and those corporations are very big. And I think that they have a lot of reach and a lot of influence with media and, you know, large media companies. And they're able to, you know, you mentioned sponsors. I wouldn't be surprised if some of those sponsors are people like BP, you know, you know, it's,

it's probably in their best interest not to admit to dooming the planet, uh, potentially, you know, and also it's a real downer, right? It's, it's not something that you can just wave a magic wand at, or, or it, actually it is something that you really actually need an literal magic wand at or it actually it is something that you really actually need a literal magic wand it would seem to fix you know like unemployment it's like all right well we need to adjust inflation rates we need to we need to do something about the currency maybe we can invest in the private sector and i don't yeah i think we can turn this unemployment thing around maybe the housing market maybe we can do something there but this it's like oh the entire planet is getting a

little bit too warm and we are 250 million out of almost 8 billion how much influence do we even have you know it's and there's so there's two kinds of partisan issues in my head right there's one which is like let's say health care right the democrats generally think that the government might do a better job managing the healthcare. They take out the profit motivation, et cetera. And the Republicans feel like a capitalism-based solution would be good in healthcare. I think they both have good intentions,

but they both have different ideas and that you can respect. Then there are some other things. Climate change is a fantastic example where it's more about rooting for the home team, right? The red team has decided that climate change is a fantastic example where it's more about rooting for the home team, right? The red team has decided that climate change is fake, that it's something to do with ice age cycles or whatever. And there's nothing we can do with it. It's not caused by humans if it's even happening at all.

And the blue team has decided that it is completely caused by humans. And in this age where you can pick your own news and choose your own reality and find sources to back sources to back it up they just root for their own team and it's a weird thing you know like if you tell me what your thoughts are on pro-life versus pro-choice or pro-gun versus uh whatever they call the other side you know then um anti-gun i guess bullishness i can reasonably predict your thoughts on climate change and you'd think that abortion and gun rights would be unrelated to climate change but they're not because school prayer people are on their school the correlation between school prayer and belief in science yes frankly yeah you know it's it these these partisan issues i mean more parent schools might help. I doubt it.

I doubt it. It won't hurt. Yeah, it won't hurt. Yeah, it couldn't possibly hurt. He mentioned the climatologist predicting the wildfires, the larger hurricanes and stuff. My preacher was doing that when I was 10 years old. He was like, it's coming.

It's coming. The Lord is going to... You just watch. You're going to see increased earthquakes. You're going to see fires. Like, and he starts reading from scripture and it's like, I think it is. People who are on the right side of that, and I don't mean the correct side. I mean the right wing side of that argument. There to deny it is a comforting thing. It's to,

it's to say, no, there's, there's no boogeyman in the closet. And then the left is like, I don't know. I can see his feet. You're like,

no, that's that. Of course you do. Those are your shoes. They're moving. Yeah. They're moving. And it's,

it's, it's much more comforting to be on, on the right side of it because because if you're on the realistic side of believing climate change it's too late if we're being honest you think it doesn't matter your age you know like i thought this was the one issue where you could live like look where the big devastation has been lately massive hurricanes and and flooding in houston new orleans florida you know all the southern states like it's hard to deny like that this stuff's happening to

you as an individual so when it happens and your whole world gets burnt out by massive wildfires that haven't happened in you know whatever amount of years and then you listen and all the science and and you're a younger you know generation and you're on the internet, you don't change your mind or you don't have an open mind. Oh, the younger generation who's on the internet is already on board. The problem is they don't know. I don't know. Where are you?

What are you doing? Why is Greta the person out there making a big change? If you guys are going to vote, get it done. I think people don't change their minds because their tribalism is too strong. Them and their like-minded friends enjoy their worldview views and their beliefs and it's a cohesive bond amongst them.

And they don't really care about the fires or the floods or whatever more than they do their social structure, their desire to be liked and fit in. And there's also alternate viewpoints of this thing that are really easy to buy into if you are a right-wing guy. One of the things I see, I read a lot, and again, I bet it's probably true, but I don't know

if someone is explaining that the reason these wildfires are so extreme right now in Australia is because the Liberal Prime Minister prevented them from doing their underbrush burning, because it was going to cause some sort of minor issue. And they're like, ah, they don't allow us to burn the underbrush. So of course, when a fire does kick off, it's completely out of control. That sounds accurate. I know that's a thing here, where they disallowed the burning of the undergrowth,

the pine needles and stuff that pile up every season. And that's something the Native Americans did, I've read. Every year they'd go in and burn all that out. And it's something that's been disallowed to the point where you've got this huge amount of growth down there and fuel to fuel these gigantic fires. Well, if that's what caused it, they will not make that mistake next year.

They're going to take care of that. Well, Taylor, you might not have heard, but they're burning it now. Really, guys? We're kind of just knocking out the next 10 years of this. They're taking care of it. Those are common sense excuses. Every year has been,

for the last 10 years has been the hottest year on the planet in history every year every year has the most melting ever of the polar ice camps every year every single year just keep going back has the biggest rise in water temperature has the biggest amount of water you know created every year has the biggest fires in history now going back every year, like this year, last year was all here in California, right? Now it's all in Australia. Okay, we should sweep the, you know, the forest better and burn the pine needles. And maybe there were some guys setting fires. Like, come on, like, there's such giant amounts of evidence and science that we just got

to put ourselves, you know, into figuring out the issue. And the scariest thing that I remember 10 years ago with these generals, and it's the same now, is that they ranked all the countries all around the world and the public opinion on whether climate was a major issue. And in places like China, who was the biggest polluter, they were actually doing the most as far as scrubbing and coal and thinking about it. And it was a 90% issue for their, uh, for their population. And in Europe it was an 80% issue. And in the United States we were doing the least and it was like a 40% issue. Um, it makes sense that Chinese, especially urban Chinese would care

about that because they're walking around in smog 24 seven like that. That would be terrible. They had a really visible and lifestyle impact of their climate change ours is more disaster oriented and it's easier to deny and it's more happening somewhere else like oh it's happening in china that's happening in india yeah it's less tangible you know um it's and and those countries got to stop pumping so much plastic into the ocean you've seen those clips that shit is ridiculous it's absurd how much it's just whole rivers of plastic just pouring in from like china india bangladesh like like it looks like it honestly it looks like when you see an avalanche clip but instead of snow and

ice it is old coke bottles and like pc parts and stuff just america used to do that so i was a surfer in new jersey when i was a kid this is like 32 years ago something like that and uh yeah my wetsuit would come back like covered with like dirt and trash and like oil bits there'd be things floating wildwood beaches would get shut down because like the barges where we dumped our trash offshore would wash in and wildwood would have to close down all the time i read in a surfing magazine i used to be all into those that the disposable tampon applicator was the new jersey seashell and that's yeah so we've cleaned it up a bunch since then but yeah that's where we were a long

time ago that's good yeah and it looks like you were right woody with uh i don't i think you said it the like the nearly 200 people arrested for like starting fires it looks like only 24 of them were arrested for intentionally like starting fires most people it was like not abiding by uh regulation or like throwing a cigarette out and starting something. Still counts though, right? Well, yeah, but it's not, well, yeah, I mean, I mean, the fire doesn't care how it was started, I suppose, but yeah, there's not a huge group of people out there being like, he, he, he, we're going to make people believe this is happening.

I mean, they caught two dozen and it's, you would imagine it's very difficult. I could go out back and start a fire right now. Nobody know. I mean, they caught two dozen. And you would imagine it's very difficult. I could go out back and start a fire right now. Nobody would know. I mean, they'd suspect me for obvious reasons. But nobody would know right away. Yeah, shit. Not again. I could go across town and start some fires and nobody would know.

You'd keep ruining your own plan. If an Atlanta fire happens. This is dropping. Please, God, not again. Fingers crossed, please. Not again. I'm not going back. I already did my time. Yeah.

I just don't know, man. I honestly believe that it's too late to affect any real change and reverse things quickly. I think we're going to see some pretty serious issues over the next maybe we won't see them, but human beings are going to see some some pretty serious issues over the next maybe we won't see them but human beings are going to see some serious uh changes over the next 50 years or so and i i don't think the the thing that i hear about um the most that does sound kind of irreversible is you know the

changing of the uh the ocean currents and and how that can lead to the uh the ph of the ocean changing so dramatically that like huge amounts of the sea life die off. And the chain reaction that that causes because of everything that sea life is doing for the global ecosystem and the air quality. Something like that happens. We're not going to... You're assuming all these changes are for the negative, right?

What if we get rid of sharks and get way cooler flounder? That's a net positive. I don't like sharks. It's more likely the ocean turns into acid and the air is unbreathable, but I'm with you. I'm with you. Cool flounder. Cool.

There's so much destruction over the next decades that it's like, it's almost like your body getting a fever trying to kill off the virus you know like and eventually the earth is just the earth right now has a fever it's like bastards we need to get rid of them and then eventually it'll cull us down to a reasonable number and then we can then we can start fucking it up all over again that's the premise of like half a dozen movies the matrix is i think it's one of them. Oh yeah, Day After Tomorrow. I think in The Matrix they say that people think they're animals, but they're not. They're actually a

virus, right? Because if you think about a virus, it just keeps reproducing and growing and growing and expanding until eventually it kills its own habitat. That's what viruses do. I'm like, oh, that does kind of sound like people. Yeah. We just got to get to Mars faster, right? It's funny you mention that.

NASA has a plan to put a woman and a man on the moon in 2024 it seems like it's like a realistic thing that that they're gonna make happen they're gonna need to put more than one woman and one man we're gonna have some goofy ass martians have you not read your bible that's how we do it when to stay uh yeah no Mars is not a viable plan, people. Stop thinking that, like, ah, Earth got two degrees warmer. Fuck it, let's go to Mars. No, no, Mars is not closer to perfect than Earth is. Let's just do Earth right. Well, how's Venus?

It's much, much worse than Mars. Has its own issues. Yeah. Yeah. Mercury is always an option, and I think that's about it. Mercury is definitely not an option. Isn't there a moon around Jupiter or something? It's supposed to have a life on it.

There are a lot of moons around Jupiter and Saturn. Yeah, Titan. I think that's the one they think has subsurface water that they've looked at before. Yeah, they think there's a warm ocean under that icy surface. And that's fascinating to me. That's really fascinating to me. I wish they would i don't know neil degrice tyson was talking about he's like i want him to send a probe up

there i want to drill a hole and go down in there look around and i'm like yeah that would be that's where i got my enthusiasm from too ah you know for all that guy's faults which is basically creating the i am very smart subreddit. I am excited about that. That's his real job. You're getting enthusiasm around science. Every once in a while, he'll tweet out a banger about the universe, and I'm like, oh, wow, the universe is neat. And then on Christmas, he'll be like,

it's totally arbitrary why you people are celebrating the solstice now. That's usually New Year's. Yeah, or New Year's or whatever. It's just like, You're just being a bitch and letting people give presents to each other. Actually, in Interstellar, it wouldn't have happened like this. Shut up! No!

You know what happens if your way gets through? That movie's 40 minutes long and everything's fine. Oh, there's no outward inertia just come on in yes oh yeah so anyway yeah hopefully we can it does kind of suck what's the saying like born too late to explore the earth born too early to explore the stars something to that effect like there's no fucking way that we're gonna be alive any of the four of us to see like a cool base on on jupiter's moon or on mars like but why we have

we haven't gone back to the moon in like 50 years you were here for the rise of facebook so you got that yeah but that sucked now facebook's all old people yeah oh that's true now it's all about that tiktok which apparently china's just stealing people's info that's a different thing i i made that same mix-up taylor i can't laugh at you yeah no china had like talk tick and it's a big scam like thing kyle what is it actually how close am i um i don't know how close you are it's like tiktok or something yeah and but it was so close to tiktok i got confused as well um yeah i i just know they're two very different things because one is you know currently everyone in the military is getting a memo get out it's spyware it's watching

you all the time and the other is like where people put silly videos and kevin hart's got a entertaining show you know it's very different, I was wondering what kind of useful information they were gathering from TikTok videos. Like, ah, the latest American memes. Yeah, you're not getting anything of any sort of real value over there. Yeah, hell no. But yeah, I think it's like, I can't remember, there was this Jeff Daniels TV show.

It was like something, Newsroom or something like that. And there's an old clip from that show where he's interviewing a climatologist. And he's like, all right, well, the climatologist is like, well, we're going to see this. This bad thing's going to happen. That bad's going to happen. And Jeff Daniels' character is like, all right, well, let's put a good spin on this for the audience. What do we need to do to fix all that? Well, 10 years ago, we could have done this and that and this and that. He's like, well, today, what can we do to turn the

ship around? He's like, oh, nothing. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. There's nothing we can do. What do you mean? We could cut carbon emissions. You could take every car off the road that exists it wouldn't matter um we could uh we could we could all go electric not gonna help not gonna help it's like so what are you saying i i'm saying that in the next 25 years we're looking at you know he's talking about like millions of people dying and the oceans rise and he's he's like when is this going to happen? 20, 30 years, something like that.

And you can see like Jeff Galsper getting visibly frightened at this point. It's no longer about the news show. He's just, he's like blown away. How accurate is it though? Like is it on? I don't think it's very accurate. I think there are people who would say it is. I think this show dates back to the time of Al Gore's Inconvenient Truth, where see, that's when the left can really shoot themselves in the foot. Not that they touch

a firearm, but don't tell us the world is going to implode in 15 years if major change doesn't happen, because we're just lazy enough to wait around and see if you're right or not. And if there's no implosions, it looks like you're wrong. It's just like when the media goes a little bit too far at trying to make Trump look bad and they say something that's not exactly accurate. And it's like, then Trump can go, you see? Fake news. I've been telling you the whole time. You're like, whoa, just that one thing was fake. We just faked the one thing. The other 99 things you said were all real, actual lies, fake news, all of it. He's going to paint you with the same

brush, you know? And so I feel like Al Gore's inconvenient truth almost did more harm than it did good because so many people pointed to that and they're like oh yeah remember that that it he was predicting a world that we live in right now new york will be underwater by 2008 yeah his it's almost like like like when you watch blade runner or something like that and i want to say like the first blade runner movie which is based like in the year 2019 everybody's in flying cars and we've got uh cybernetic uh organ cybernetic human beings like cyborgs that are like indetectable without using that uh that that fancy test to like you know trick their emotions or whatever we see what 2019 is like it's it's memes and and orange world leaders you know it's it's not all that different than it was in the 80s.

We've just got cooler gadgets. Nobody's flying around. You've got cool hoverboards but you can only use them over the ocean. That's just a jet ski with a cooler look. Don't ruin this for me. I'm on Andy's level of wealth. I'm buying all the hoverboards and then i'm gonna hoverboard around spraying water on the chicago blackhawks that's the jet feet things they're pretty cool

is kyle on the same page with what he's talking about yeah i think that that thing's pretty lame honestly i think the coolest thing is the actual hoverboard you've seen those actual hoverboards that that you stand on and fly around in the sky. Oh, yeah. You're like the Green Goblin from Spider-Man. That is some ridiculous stuff. They only go a very short distance.

I don't know what the distance is. I think it's like 90 seconds they work. It's rough. I saw those guys in Dubai who literally have the rocket jet packs have you seen them like flying around like actual superheroes yeah you know so there is some cool stuff that has happened but it's just not mainstream or widely available can i bet you've gone and fucked around in dubai before is it as neat as youtube

makes it seem i've never been i want to go i've never been. I want to go. I've never been. It looks unbelievable. Can I talk you guys into a relationship advice topic? Yeah, man. All right, Andy, we do this now and then. It's from Reddit. Girl's going to ask for advice. It's about a two-minute read, so buckle up.

My, she's a 22-year-old female, boyfriend i'm sorry 25 year old male made a new girl friend last night just a friend and is now doing favors for her that i feel are reserved for us we've been dating three years a month ago he tells me this girl he met this girl while surfing kicked her in the head underwater by accident while trying to dive under a wave he told me this and i was like oh darn that's messed up. You owe her a drink. Ha ha. Well, the thing is, she happened to pop up on a friend's Instagram story and he replied to it saying, Hey, can I tell your friend I'm sorry?

I think I kicked her earlier while surfing. I guess the friend put them in contact and they started DMing each other. I'm not sure exactly what the messaging about, but I guess they got around to talking about what she does and who she is and how old she is. 21. And she said that she just moved to our state and has no other friends, but the one that posted on her Instagram. So my boyfriend said that she asked if she could join him whenever he surfs

because she has no one to surf with. So all in the same conversation, he told me that he surfed with her a couple of times, and that was that. After the conversation, I didn't express my frustration, anger, and jealousy. I told him I was happy he made a friend. But in my head, I thought to myself, I'd probably do the same too. She was never brought up again until yesterday.

Yesterday, I told him his mom offered to drop us off at the airport in two months. I said we need a ride back, which can probably be my sister since I'm dropping her off and picking her up. Then he brings up, well, I'm already going there Monday. I asked him why, and he said to pick up a friend. I asked him what friend? He says, oh, that girl I told you about. She's coming back into town tomorrow, and said she has no one else to pick her up. So I responded, yeah, all that for a girl I just met? And laughed it off. But in my head, come on, what the heck? A girl you just met? You're not going to drive an hour to the airport and an hour back for a girl you just met.

You do that for family and close friends or your girlfriend. I wouldn't do that if the tables were turned. I got home and I went on his Instagram following. I found her right away. I know this because he said her age and the two states that she commutes from in her bio. She's cute. She's totally cute. She's his type.

We're similar in style. And I could see why he's doing all these favors eye rolls. Anyway, tomorrow I'm planning to confront him and ask about the details. I don't know if I'm just going to set him in his place or break up with him. But how does this sound to you guys? It turns out she's a surfer too, but she's not advanced, so they surf in different spots. This dude is doing multi-hour long favors for a cute girl he just met.

This guy's a dick. I think you're about to push your boyfriend right over to his new girlfriend if you confront him. Guys love being confronted, by the way. We prefer if it's a surprise. Hit us right when we wake up, by the way. Hit us right when we wake up. When we wake up and we do that yawny, stretchy, sleep out of our eye thing, be already sitting there cross-legged with a cup of coffee, fully dressed, so you've got an air of superiority. Maybe stand over him, looking down.

Be upset. But pretend like you're not. He can tell you're upset, but you're feigning like you're holding to get... Yeah, you're about to push him right over to cutie McSurf girl. If he's not already gone...

He's already gone, dude. You don't go to pick up a chick that you're not fucking an hour away at the airport and then drive back yeah you don't do that oh taylor i i would argue that you do but i might just add not fucking yet yeah maybe not fucking yet but this no this guy wasn't like oh hell yeah this this is gonna be fun conversation like no he wants to bang uh i would if i were this this lady i would break up with this guy because he's clearly in the middle of swinging branch to branch right now and it's only once he has a firm grasp on her that he's gonna let go of you and he's not treating you

with respect so fuck this guy yeah this that's really really shitty of him and and she only knows the times that he has actually told her that he's hanging out with her and doing these little intimate things there were tons of times tons of times that he's hanging out with her and doing these little intimate things there were tons of times tons of times that he was hanging out with her other than this does he live with the first girl i thought i picked that up let's let uh andy get it yeah this guy is i think he he's he's a pussy and he wants her to break up with him who says oh yeah oh by the way i'm going to the airport anyways i'm gonna go pick up this girl uh that you didn't know about like that's the dumbest move ever unless he was craving anti-ants like a nine dollar pretzel to start the day and he's got an interesting point

he wants to be broken up with he outed himself yeah a month from now yeah he definitely does yeah he wants you to make the move because he's a pussy and he's not going to pull the trigger. And he wants to be able to have the, you know, I guess, deniability of being like, well, you're the one who wants to end it. I'm going to go, you know, fuck this. Or maybe he wants to date both girls for a period. Maybe he wants a branch in each hand. Yeah. The way you like it.

But no, not Kyle. But like the branch in each hand thing. You're like jacking off two men. Oh, it. No. No, not Kyle. But like the Branch and E-Chan thing. I was thinking like you were jacking off two men. Oh, no. Jesus. You were on skiing. Yeah, you can do four if they stay in front. Anyway, maybe he's swinging, but he does want to Branch and E-Chan

just so that he can figure out which Branch he likes more, right? You date them concurrently before you switch. Scummy move. Don't do that. But maybe that's what he's doing. he likes more, right? You date them concurrently before you switch. Scummy move. Don't do that. But I could, maybe that's what he's doing. Yeah, that's not a thing you can do though. They're not just dating. They're in a relationship.

If he were casually dating it's like, oh, we've been on two dates. By the way, Karen, I don't appreciate you talking about me right on my show. Alright? You could have come to me for this kind of discussion. You didn't have to go straight to Woody, all right?

Don't you? This is why I'm going to the airport tomorrow. Little Betsy over here doesn't do this shit. I don't, sir. Yeah, so that guy's a dick, and she's in the right

for being suspicious and probably breaking up with him. Or are we just set in some sort of old-fashioned mindset mindset and this man can have my mind's made up and i'm not gonna change you're right can a guy have an attractive girl friend no right i think you're right i thought i was gonna be alone on that but but yeah it's it's a recipe that breeds trouble it's so do you have to only be friends with women that your girlfriend doesn't think are more attractive than her?

No, but you can be friends with girls without being one-on-one, picking them up at the airport, and doing little activities. You know, I laughed at Mike Pence, but it's looking pretty smart to me right now. It's so funny that a week before Me Too happened, everybody's like, ha ha ha, ha ha ha, look at Mike Pence and his dumbass strategy. And then everybody starts getting Me Too'd and you know he's the one guy in Hollywood or DC being like, oh, another wonderful night's sleep. Oh, I'm feeling refreshed. I've never even been in the same room with a woman alone. I feel like I can shock a whole room full of gays.

That's a thing he likes to do. I forget about that. How much of a meme is that? That's not a meme at all. I'm pretty sure he... Actually, don't answer it. I'm going to choose it's not a meme at all. Yeah, I appreciate... I think one of those

pray away the gay camps that uses electroshock or something like that. Like he was down for that. I don't remember the details. I remember reading it thoroughly and being like, fuck, that's messed up. That's awful. Is it messed up, though? Like I remember playing with that taser with you. We were all laughing. It was fun. I feel like that's the electroshock is something that German scientists came up with where they're like, this person, they still have so many mental problems. We've given them

pills. We're trying to do whatever we can. The other guy's like, yeah, but we haven't used the shock machine. Hans, how does this work? You don't know it won't work. We haven't used it. Shocking the shit out of someone. Apparently it actually is good for a couple things.

I'm not going to believe it. Not for making you not gay, but for neural problems. What is it good for? What is shocking good for? I know it helps them stop resisting the police. It can help you with people with seizure disorders. I think it can trigger something in your brain that can help with that. I'm going to shop around for doctors until one prescribes pot if I have seizure disorders. I think it can trigger something in your brain that can help with that. I'm going to shop around for doctors

until one prescribes pot if I have seizures. Yeah, I don't think you have to look too long. You know what? I would rather smoke pot than get shocked. You know, I think they can actually prescribe medical marijuana here in Georgia now. There's just no actual legal way to acquire it. You know, they don't have it.

Yeah, it's it's yeah it's the whole thing yeah we can do medical here too i always get these wildly different like views like sometimes i see 11 states pot it is legal weed and sometimes i see something like 37 states have legal weed i'm like how can it be so different so i i well what it's it's when and where we're in when where and why it's legal, right? You know, it's in Colorado, obviously. Maybe not obviously. Wide open.

It's essentially a cigarette. You can't smoke it in public. But if you do, you're not going to jail. Hey, hey, hey, hey, put that out, you. Don't think we won't fine you half dozens of dollars. This isn't even good stuff, sir. You come into my precinct with this crappy weed? Get out. think we won't find you half dozens of dollars this isn't even good stuff sir you come in you come into my precinct with this crappy weed it's not even worth my time you know but but you know

there's plenty of states where it's medical but when they say medical they mean you feeling bum bummed out you feel a little blue does your ankle hurt are you are you sleepy oh you can't sleep well it does both you know you're getting it no matter what and then there's states that are like oh so your four-year-old daughter has seizures continuously that are ruining her life i don't know if she's a good case study for for this oil that doesn't even get people high no no you're gonna have to go to the black market you know it's how jersey is i think unless it's been updated yeah it looks like there's only nine states remaining and well it might have even changed this is as of last year only nine states where it's fully illegal let me try and find a 2020 map yeah but i'm still on with kyle in that like i need that need that resolved a little bit okay nine's fully

legal check where are we on like the next no no nine is the only one that's not only nine are fully illegal that's what I meant I don't know maybe I said it wrong yeah that means they have but but I think what what he's saying is like but wait a minute I bet there's at least seven or eight that are like yeah it's we've got medical but not really yeah I think there's a least seven or eight that are like, yeah, it's, we've got medical, but not really. Yeah. I think there's a, there's a law with it where currently cause it's not federally legal. So like example, Missouri where I live just made it legal for medical, but we like,

we can't import weed from California or from Colorado or from the States that have the supply that they could sell it to us. Everything that's sold in a Missouri dispensary medically has to be grown in Missouri in like a greenhouse. And so basically it's like saying, hey, it's medically legal, but nothing for you to buy for another year until they build up enough that you can actually sell it. Yeah, I think that's how it was.

And a little update, as of 2020, only three states remain where it's prohibited. Yeah, welcome to Georgia, folks. No, it's prohibited. Welcome to Georgia, folks. No, it's not Georgia. Georgia's medically legal. Yeah, we've got some nonsense medical though. Don't buy into that. It's like seizures and cancer or AIDS or something like that. I do know, however, in the city

of Atlanta, here's a little tidbit. Fucking ticket. It's a fucking ticket. If the city police get you. Not for you. Well, I wasn't in Atlanta. Yeah, you'll go back to jail. No, I meant like hypothetically. Oh, well, I don't know.

It would depend on the police officer. Although they write a whole report. Yeah, it'd be a whole thing. Because I have to fill out, I have to report monthly to my probation officer. And one of the questions that I have to answer truthfully is you know whether i was stopped or questioned or you know anything like that yeah that's what you get for being a felon yep andy might not know the background for a short stint short stint yeah i got caught with half

an ounce of marijuana and they made it a federal case and gave me a few months in federal prison doesn't that suck that's literally what he got caught for yeah wow it was a bad boy apparently yeah and uh you know what you know what i i really don't you know i'm over it it doesn't bother me or whatever what will irk me a little bit every now and then like i really don't even think about it. I watch these cop shows. I think it's this thing on YouTube called Live PD. They pull this guy over and he's got a bunch of marijuana.

Like two ounces. It's less than two ounces. We're going to write him a ticket and send him home tonight. I'm just like, what do you mean? Why aren't you raiding his home right now? Why aren't you stealing half a million dollars worth of firearms you haven't shackled him and drug him to the hospital at 3 a.m for a forced blood blood pull come on this is america let's go and then like i keep watching and you know there's a lot of drug stops on live pd and they get this

other guy he's got heroin and they're like we're just gonna write him a ticket for the pills i am gonna tell the assistant da about the heroin but i'm gonna let her know he's promising to go to a drug treatment program they're they're they're not gonna prosecute that they see him moving forward to you know better his life they're not gonna prosecute the heroin the guy had heroin and a bottle of pills where are these cool states where they're not gonna prosecute the heroin the guy had heroin and a bottle of pills where are these cool states where they're pulling getting pulled over this was like florida or something these cool people that may be dealing heroin just i don't want to fucking know i don't know anything about some fucking heroin i don't want to know anything about tic tacs at this point

just oh it's that frustrating is that a reference i didn't get are we actually talking about breath i'm talking about breath okay they look too much like narcotics um yeah that's one thing that does irk me still is is like i when i watch those cop shows and they're like oh he's just got half an ounce of weed what are we gonna do you're gonna write him a ticket it's half an ounce of weed i make him throw it away yeah then we can smoke it later but we are gonna get him on the seat belt violation so he learns a lesson yeah they'll literally do stuff like that you know the cops are really cool on that on that on that show most of the time you know they'll they'll catch people street racing and they're like we're gonna ride him a speeding ticket i'm like he was street racing what do you mean a speeding ticket you know i feel like they'd just take my car

one of the i think about this part of your story sometimes like independently if i have the number right you say 56 days and there was whatever it's incalculable seven by eight cinder blocks which is 56 cinder blocks and you like counted them off one by day like this wall represents my Entire stay and and you know I just working my way over and I can visually see like half what this is how much of my term This is how much and I don't know something about that burned into my consciousness like as a way to measure your progress or visually yeah, it was helpful to visual to be able to visualize the days I had left in prison. And there were two ways to do it. For the longest time, I had to do it like you're talking about, this long linear line where I could look

at the end of the block and see. You're sitting there doing nothing a lot, just reading. But even if it's 20% done, you can see like, ooh, that's... But you can't visualize that number in shapes. Your brain's not capable of it, but once you get down to about maybe a dozen, then I can do the wall right in front of me and I can do a four by three block and I can be like four, four, four days, three times, or maybe it's easier, or maybe it seems easier to do three days, four times. Or only 12 days once.

I swear, six days twice. Work with me, boys. When you're sitting there all day for 12 hours, you're just like, you're doing all the different ways to divide 12. There's not a lot.

And you're looking at the clock and you're like oh three more hours then it's 10 days you know one you know two days later obviously and then you know all the ways you can that 10 is divisible and uh and it yeah very frustrating very frustrating i think you came out of prison more cultured more well read oh yeah i definitely more well read i really hit the uh the classics you know so do you read your books because that was what was allowed. Do you think if audiobooks were allowed that would have made you stay nicer? Yeah, probably so. Probably so because I had a nice headset. I had a headset similar to this. I had some Sennheisers or something in there. I would have probably preferred

to have listened because I could have closed my eyes and lied back in the bunk rather than sitting up all the time actually reading. But I didn't mind so much. It definitely takes me longer to read a book than to listen to a book, I would think. I don't know.

My vision is not as good as yours. It would have taken more stress, workload. I'm having a hard time articulating why it's an effort to read for a long time. Sure. I would read for three or four hours at a time and then take a break.

Just break the day up in little blocks. Makes it easier. Yeah. Hope to never have to deal with that. You'll enjoy it. go in get in shape you're going yeah you're going check your p.o box taylor it's like those people are like i'll never get an oyster and you're like someday you'll try one yeah yeah it's exactly like that yeah you're trying going to prison i worry

about it i don't even do anything bad i'm like i never even like flirt with the edges of doing bad things but i'll sit there watching like advice videos from lock up 23 and one you're like all right definitely don't look at anyone else's cell when you walk by. I learned that. I certainly did not. Yeah, I think that's an area where you're better than me. I could tell. I was like, because I didn't like when people looked at my cell. I was like, the fuck?

You don't know if I'm here naked, dude. The fuck? Are you looking at my state-issued bed? You're looking in at everything that man possesses. You might as well just walk down the street and open his fucking bedroom door and look in there.

You don't know what could be going on in there. And it might be something that you don't want to see. And even worst case, it might be something he doesn't want you to see. And you don't know who he is.

Maybe somebody else is in that cell doing something that you don't need to know about. That you don't want to know about. There could easily be a guy who doesn't normally stay in that cell hiding drugs or a weapon or a cell phone in there. And he knows that you know about it now. And it doesn't matter if you rat him out or not. Maybe he gets caught two days later, just by happenstance you could easily get the shit beaten out of you you could get labeled as as a rat as an informant you don't look in there

just just be on the safe side just don't fucking look anybody's cells so kyle's right obviously but taylor i'm asking you i put you in prison for eight years. You go eight years with a perfect never look record? If it means not getting the shit beaten out of me, yes. I'm Mr. Look Forward. If it means not getting the shit out of me, I'll give myself a probably. Head on a swivel? Not this guy. Straight ahead.

I would look straight ahead. I would look at the far end, and I would use my peripheral to make sure I wasn't going to get bump into anybody. And people would usually greet me as I walked past. Then I would acknowledge them. But I never looked at them. I know your tricks!

And they're just like, run by. Yeah. Kyle's been acting weird. Notice he won't even look at you? I think he's hiding something let's beat his ass I'm not sure if he's a child molester or a rat maybe both see no that seems like what you said

was the big winning combo is find out about a child molester in there or someone who was looking at kiddie porn and then find common ground with people over that be like did you hear about that guy who's way worse than me or you yeah i hate him too that's what i did in jail like when i was in county jail like like for but that was only like three or four days was like immediately like me and the other uh prisoners bonded over the fact that we're in here for like

petty drugs and maybe there's a guy in there for like some petty theft that guy's a fucking child molester and like i'm gonna get out in three days i'm not gonna do anything but i'll be part of the conversation because they're all sitting we're all sitting there just like looking at them and then they're like i don't like that and i'm in my head i'm like nobody likes that dude nobody fucking likes that they're the they're the most hated you're so brave yet courageous yeah right but but but i will say i'm like yeah i don't like it either and he's like i think i'm gonna do something i'm good i think i'm gonna watch you do it yeah i think i'm gonna watch you do it. Yeah. I'm going to watch you do it.

You know? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Child molesters are definitely the, the bottom rung of a prison society. Of course there were no convicted child molesters where I was staying at. The suspected Chomos. Yes.

There were, there were people who were under suspicion of perhaps being a child molesters, but it took very little to bring that upon you in some instances. Lesson learned. I'm just not at all confident in my ability to thrive

in this environment, Kyle. I'm not. I mean, I'm not either. I don't think they're going to kill you. You did great and I'm proud of you. I could just see you, you know, like I think you do well for like six weeks, a month, maybe a year.

And then there'd just be that little misunderstanding where you're, you know, just like, you know. Is there anything else? I knew that was coming. Cir certainly back to the waitress you just you're just a little rude but you don't even realize you're being rude and now there's a chank chank a change in the armor now they can get you no no no no that's a word for shank that's that's what my uh my mexican friend called a shank. He called it a shank. Kyle arranged several bodyguards

through charm and charisma. I did what I could to stay alive. And a virgin. Those were his priorities. Not in that order. Not in that order. Not at all uh good times news story here uh i guess a judge ruled it unconstitutional to have a mail only draft excellent but now it was we're to start losing more wars.

I laugh, but do we want women drafted in the army? They're not going to do a draft if this shit doesn't work. Well, okay, they're not going to do a draft. I'm with you there. I'm in the hypothetical. Over a long enough period of time, the odds of there being a draft go to 100%. You realize that, right?

Well, not if our entire country dissolves in the boiling oceans first. Wouldn't they draft before they did that? They're going to draft people to make fucking sandbags or something. Right. Yeah. I think that they wouldn't put them into combat positions that they weren't

either qualified for or allowed into. Well, that's not very combat positions that they weren't either qualified for or allowed into. Well, that's not very PC of you. Well, I think it's more about what the military decides to do, not really my decision. But, you know, I think it's a good thing.

I think that everybody should have equal rights, equal responsibilities. I don't feel like the judge... I feel like they should all be internal with the military. Let them make the decision they think is fit. Like, don't let a judge overrule it. Like, they have their own courts there. What if they decide we need segregated units?

If they decide that... They're not going to do that. Do you mean by race or by sex? They used to do that before we made them stop. Yeah, but I think it's a little different you said the military should be on their own autonomous and everything

I'm just playing devil's advocate I don't know we won World War II didn't we it was poor Tuskegee Airmen I understand what you're saying there back in the segregation days but yeah I think this should be internal with the military they know what they're doing more if they think it's fine then go for it the segregation days. But yeah, I think this should be internal with the military. They know what they're doing more.

If they think it's fine, then go for it. Yeah, I suppose I'm always for the people who are literally on the ground and do that as a profession, making those decisions. It seems whenever you've got politicians making those.

It seems weird to me that the president is the commander-in-chief. I like it. I disagree. Carry on. Let me listen. He's a politician.

Right. You know, his, his, and it used to be that so many of our presidents had military experience. And so it made sense for so long. George Washington was literally the general who was most influential in winning the Revolutionary War. And that tradition continued more or less for a long period of time. We had a lot of military background presidents and some of the better ones, actually, from Eisenhower to Teddy Roosevelt. They all had extensive military experience.

Donald Trump went to military school. That's like the punchline of a bad joke. military school. That's like the punchline of a bad joke. That's not the same thing. And I just don't know if he should be the guy. On the other hand, if he's going to be the guy out there negotiating a lot of deals with other countries, it's good if he's got the stick to go with the carrot. I like a civilian commander in chief because I feel like he brings less inclination to go to war and a certain like further back holistic perspective to the decisions that have to be made. If he viewed it through the lens of a warrior, then I think he might find war to be a viable option more often. I think it would be the opposite. find war to be a viable option more often? I think it would be the opposite.

I think that, you know, I was, they were talking about some of the soldiers who were mobilizing just the other day for this 3,500 that they called up to go to the Middle East or whatever it was, and how the older soldiers, the ones who were veterans, were like pretty somber. But then they quoted some of the young guys and they're literally like, go into war, dude. But then they quoted some of the young guys and they're literally like, go into war, dude. And it's like, ah, I don't want a go into war dude president. I want more of a if we must kind of president. I feel like, you know, if you've been to war and there was a there was a good Eisenhower quote that was on the Internet the other day about what what he said about war. And I don't have it. And but I feel like a guy who's been to war and especially like a guy's been in command or something like that might have a less apt a somber experience look at it yeah it's a terrible thing

that it is and i've never been to war i don't pretend to have been, but, uh, um, yeah, that's a good point. I think it's a good counterpoint, but, you know, I, I look at like a Schwarzkopf,

for example, he was very enthusiastic about it. You know, the, the, I forget the guy's name. They did a Netflix special on him. He took over Afghanistan for a while.

You know, he was very enthusiastic about it. Like there are definitely leaders who have been through war in the military who think war is pretty awesome yeah yeah so i get maybe it's just up to the man yeah i think it's individual and uh look so far donald trump hasn't done anything horrific that involves the military you know like people point to this uh so i've been calling the guy salami as a joke this whole time and now it's actually stuck in my head. It's like when you make a silly face for

too long. It ends with nami. Sola nami. You know, and I don't like it when either side goes, oh, but what about this? Like whenever they posted the pictures of Clinton with

Epstein's madam, and then they're quickly, everybody's quick to like, oh, here's Trump with Epstein. It's like, two wrongs don't make a right. They're both with the pedophile guy, right? Yeah, they're both hanging out on Rape Island over there. Yeah.

What's going on here? And so, I don't like when people are like, Obama killed this many and did this much. Unless you're trying to point out the bias of the media or the hypocrisy of the media, then it's relevant. But if you're trying to compare the right and wrong of drone strikes or civilian collateral damage,

then it's not applicable because it's either wrong or it's right. You know, you can't do that. What a downer. Yeah. I mean, I was just trying to get some pussy while serving overseas. We finally get to draft some girls. I'm just trying to get from college, man. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, man. So you've got to, I know you've got to leave soon. Is there anything that you'd like to, you know, plug or reiterate? Any of the NRG stuff? I said it wrong. You stinker. I did it on purpose. Any of the NRG stuff?

Piss me off. Let everybody know about? Anything like that? No, you guys are great. Really, really interesting. Super. Not what I thought at all. Much smarter than I thought.

You guys are great. Really a lot different than I expected. Super interesting. Not what I thought at all. Much smarter than I thought. You guys are great. Really a lot different than I expected. Much smarter. It's fantastic. Much smarter. We're going to write that as a blurb. That whole quote right there. That's the foreword of my book.

I'm saving all that. You're not at all what I thought. Much smarter. I'm changing it from total retard to you guys are pretty smart. Smarter than I thought. Smarter than I expected. Oh, no, don't take that as a compliment. You have no idea how little I thought of you.

What's that, Andy? I'm sorry. How long have you guys been doing this as a threesome? Oh, I like that description. Very long time. We've been doing our threesome I guess this particular threesome for what would you say four years now five years

over five years and the show all together is almost ten yeah that's incredible we've got a long time we enjoy this this is I joined in 14 yeah six years we did this for hundreds and hundreds of shows

before we made a penny. And we'd be doing it if we didn't make a penny. I really enjoy it. I like doing this a lot. It's a lot of fun. We get on here and we goof around and we talk about serious stuff like climate change and our orange-faced president who's a potential warmonger. But, oh, we did a good thing this week.

Okay, good job, good job. And then we goof around and talk about relationship advice and just the most disgusting videos we can find on the internet. So it's a real mixed bag of silliness. Yeah, I had some disgusting videos. Oh, we're getting to them. Don't worry. We'll wait before Andy to go.

That's why I'm talking. Are you talking? No, I appreciate the time. It was great. As far as nothing really to plug, if you're interested in Overwatch and you're in Northern California, we got our, our first real home matches, which would be super fun at the university of California, Berkeley.

And during the football Marshawn Lynch is going to come and hand out our championship rings with me on March 28th. So that'll be super fun. That's awesome. Yeah. I was hoping you were going to plug and be like, man, we got a Sacramento Kings game on the 11th and on the 13th. What'd you say? Wasn't something coming up this weekend?

Is it COD? Am I crazy? Do I have it backwards? The first COD matches are in Minneapolis at the end of the month. I've been playing COD. I'm looking forward to that. Maybe I'll find a better place not to get murdered.

It's in-game murdering I'm talking about. I'm talking about losing. Alright. Thank you, Andy. Yeah, thanks for being on, man. Gotta do it again. Awesome. Thanks so much. Later. Let me do this next ad read. Tell the folks about Blue Chew.

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BlueChew is the better, cheaper, faster choice. Yeah, check those out. Just see what your full potential is like. Yeah, get to maximum level. It's definitely worth doing. Waiting for Taylor. It's $5. So few things five dollars anymore right

money doesn't go as far as you used to back in my day um do you want to do a relationship advice while taylor's gone i think this one's short it is all right my the speaker here is a 20 year old male girlfriend 20 year old female photoshopped my penis and I feel weird about it. A bit not safe for work, not by our standards. We've been dating eight months since meeting at university. She sort of has a weird sense of humor, but it's never really bothered me. At the moment, we're both home for Christmas, so we send each other nudes.

She sent me some pictures and videos and I sent her a video of me ejaculating, and we just chatted casually for a bit. Then she texts me and says, please don't kill me. I said, why? Then I get a photo message, a screenshot of the moment I begin to cum. I'm glad we let Andy go. With Spider-Man photoshopped on the head of my penis, looking like he's shooting cum from his hands.

Honestly, I felt a bit baffled. Why would she send me this, or even take the time to photoshop it? So I just didn't reply to her. She messaged me an hour later and said, hey, I'm sorry if you found that to be immature and unfunny. I was being silly. I love your body so much, and I'm sorry I made a joke out of it. I know I should have probably replied to this,

but I just don't really know if I feel respected by her. Like she said, please don't kill me. It's almost over. Before sending, so surely she knew it would sort of bother me. I don't know if I'm overreacting here. It's my first relationship. Any feedback? It's just your first relationship.

He's 20. You're being a bitch. Not only is this girl doing some fun naked stuff with you, but she's got a great sense of humor. That's hilarious. You should have immediately tweeted back a picture of Samson from the Bible. Oh, no, no. Who's the thing from Greek mythology, the guy who holds the...

Atlas, perhaps? Atlas, yeah. You should have had Atlas holding her titty up or something like that. Good move. How do you not have a sense of humor about this, dude? How old is this guy? 20. This sounds to me like something a 65-year-old man would say.

I don't get it. Why is Spider-Man on my penis? Does she not respect my penis? You're being so lame dude and you have no sense of humor you don't sound fun at all she's cool she's cool she's striking me as sex positive if she sees the moment you ejaculate and immediately makes some sort of spider-man association and photoshops it this is a girl who's not afraid of your cum this is a winner yeah this is this is a girl with a sense of humor most importantly because that's

kind of that can be kind of rare sometimes this is funny i'm gonna do a fast forward for for taylor he doesn't have his head on there i know taylor uh woody just did a relationship question about this low-t bitch who not to bias you so this guy is so lame. All right. I'm gonna do this quickly. Uh, he's like sexting with a girl and he sends her a video of him, uh, coming and she immediately sends him a Photoshop version of a screenshot of his penis ejaculating, but it's Spider-Man shooting the webs. This guy is offended and feels disrespected and doesn't find it funny at all. Wow. This guy sucks.

How do you not think that's hilarious? It's fucking hilarious. Yeah. Yeah. Get this chick as a guest. She's funny. This guy sucks ass. It's terrible.

That's terrible. This guy's super lame. He didn't write us, did he? No, no. He was on Reddit. Good. So I liked the top comment and I had the exact same thought. I thought by photoshopped, because I was at the title, he mentions it,

you meant she made it bigger and it made you insecure, or tiny and it made you mad. This is just goofy and funny. Don't overthink it. Yes. Yeah. If she photoshopped my dick and made it more average sized, like let's say it's tiny and now it's average

then that would hurt my feelings I would be insecure about such a thing but a spider-man shooting thing no this is just a chick who thinks cum is cool that's a chick you want to that's a funny joke spend time with this girl yeah two

thumbs down to this guy fucking loser I just thought of so many funny like i watched that uh i go to that subreddit called cause penis uh where the you know he directed us there many times yeah people dress their penises up in all sorts of little costumes and stuff and i find it hilarious like i'm thinking of all kinds of different ways to photoshop a penis into other with like movie characters like remember that that scene of commando where arnold schwarzenegger has that quad-barreled launcher on his shoulder? I want the penis up there

now. We're going to need four penises and maybe a chihuahua or something. God, this guy's lame. At 20 years old, he doesn't think that's funny. I cannot. It almost feels like a troll

for him not to... The PKA Bitch of the Week. Yes. You are our Bitch of the Week. Not the woman. She's the Cool Gal of the Week. She's the Cool Gal of the Week. The first ever.

I'm going to go ahead and solidify that. The last ever. Taylor hates your kind with all of his heart. And yet he has chosen to bestow upon you his greatest honor. Yes, my only honor. The only one, really. Let's see if there's any good top month cause penises. You know what I was disappointed with?

There weren't enough firework accidents this year. I thought that for New Year's, I'd get a lot of cool shit on like justice porn, pussy pass denied, public freak out. No. There was some gunfire accidents. I mean, that should hold us over a little. Falling bullets on people

in houses. Yeah, but if I don't see the impact, I'm not, I can't come. You know? Try harder, Kyle. I can get off to the after photos. Yeah, there's no way I can finish. That's all I can do. I saw a video.

We can't show it because it's so graphic, but I'll describe it. You know how people will put bottle rockets in their ass crack? Because apparently they've never seen a video of someone putting a bottle rocket in their ass crack and realize that it doesn't work. There's a million of those videos of you. So this guy did it the worst way imaginable. Not only does it do that thing and burn him, but then his move is to go belly first with it still back there. And this is a big bottle rocket.

This is not one of those little ones explodes in his ass crack. He stands up and shows you his ass and you know how when people get like second degree burns and the skin just peels off third yeah yeah i guess it is it's more of a bad one blistery thing he's got third degree burns over 60 of his ass and the it's blackened and the skin is folding off like the top layer is just peeled off it's hard to fucking look at damn yeah so that's the that's they'll never do that again he never will do that again and i bet he's shitting in a very awkward position these days he's got it he's hovering i guess yeah that sucks spending a lot of time laying on his stomach

there's no good place to get burned, right? There's a bad place to get burned, though. Like your ass, right? Oh, my gosh. You use that for sitting. You use that for sleeping if you sleep on your back. Your butt touches things all the time. Every step you take, it moves.

It's a pretty rough spot. I'm thinking of spots that aren't that bad, like my forearm. Get a burn on your forearm, and you'll realize how often it bangs on things like that's that's yeah but butt's bad yeah burns are terrible that's that's one of the worst injuries you can get you know it's i've never been badly burned knock on wood i know both of you guys have dealt with some some rough ones yeah i've, I've had third degree and had to have the skin scrubbed off and that artificial skin glove and all that nonsense. It was very, very painful.

Very, very painful. Morphine helped, though. Man, I see how you get addicted to that shit. That's the best shit ever. Oh! Like, I love... I like weed, but I love morphine it is like a warm bath

for your fucking soul I never want to be in a position where I get where I have to be on that because I guarantee I'll be the same way whereas when I'm in the hospital I'm like you know the burn wasn't so bad I could always go back I've had two hands here you want those people who are self injuring I'm like, you know, the burn wasn't so bad. I could always go back.

I've got two hands here. One of those people who are self-injuring to get meds now. Yeah, drug-seeking behavior. One of my worst pains ever was what led up to the complete hemorrhoidectomy. I've told this story. I'm sure Kyle has to hear it again and again. I love it. I remember this part of it.

We're talking about the pain aspect. Jackie's driving me to the proctologist. And I am just frustrated and angry. And just pain is ruining any kind of mood you could possibly have. That's not the worst of the worst. And I'm sweating from the pain. Have you ever been in so much pain that just your forehead is just beating with sweat? It's coming down. And I'm in so much pain. Yeah your forehead is just beating with sweat? It's coming down. And I'm in so much pain.

And I can't sit, but I'm in a car. There's not a lot of choices. And I'm like, can we run this light? And she's like, I think it's turning green in like four seconds. You know, like, why would you? And we get there. And we're the first appointment in the morning. But there's like eight people that are first appointment in the morning but there's like eight people that are

first appointment in the morning and uh i forget if i did it or jackie did it but we went to the receptionist and we're like can i go first and she looks at me and she goes yes yes you're the one who's gonna go first and uh i go there and they lay me on my side and he spreads my cheeks and he goes, whoa, yeah, yeah. Oh, nice ass. Complete hemorrhoidectomy. There's not much of a decision to be made there.

And the other doctor is like, what? Are you sure you don't want to do something less invasive? Rubber bands or Lansing or whatever? So he looks and he's like, do you want me to look? And I'm like, yeah, I guess, you know, as long as I'm being embarrassed. And he goes, oh, yes. Yeah, all right, yeah, he was right.

He was right. I'm dying in pain here. They take me to the hospital and I think Jackie drove me there too. I get to the hospital and they get me in and the pain is apparent, right? The beads of sweat, the unable to sit, everything. And I'm getting past my embarrassment now that I've got a butt issue.

Like it's just like, can somebody please help me? Like this has just been getting worse and worse and it's climaxing right now in the worst way. And they put me on a thing and they run an IV and obviously that's saline. It does nothing. And then they put something in the IV and I was like, Oh, I'm better. Like I'm like,

I didn't know you could. I'm ready to go fully and completely. And I'm not like, as far as I know, drugged and stupid or whatever i felt like i could have read a contract i was just out of pain and and it was amazing to me this would have been the most fun contract so good it's so good i don't even know if it was morphine but it was amazing there what some kind of opiate right yeah yeah you know, to be that fast acting and everything, I think that's almost certainly is, um, especially to be injected, you know?

Yeah. They gave me morphine and, uh, cause she was saying that's what it is or whatever. And, uh, and man, every time she'd give me a little more, it felt so good. It felt so good. Cause I, I, I've told the story a bunch of times, so I won't, but I kept telling her I couldn't feel it and she'd give me a little more every time and she ended up giving me like four times the initial dose before i went she was like do you feel that and i couldn't even lie anymore i just went and that's my that's the last thing i remember her going that did the trick that's my last memory. I love that story. I played that same game with my dentist.

So now the dentist, they give you an injection in your gums and it's terrible. But way back in the day, nitrous oxide was a viable option. And I hated the needles so much. I'm a little kid, right? Like the needle's gigantic.

It's painful. It's the worst, worst of the worst. But you could ask for gas. Ask for gas, right? so he's got my mouth open i had cavities in my baby teeth yeah my mouth open he's got like uh uh cotton like rolls or something on my cheeks like just keeping me in this like alien sort of crazy thing and he's about to give me a needle and i think i'm panicked and i'm like ask for gas ask for gas

because someone told me ask for gas and uh he can't understand what i'm saying and i just keep repeating it ask for gas and then like when he realizes that whatever eight-year-old woody would prefer gas i get it and he gives me the gas. And just like you, they're like, is it working yet? And I'm like, no, no, it's not working. Is it working yet? No, no. And, and it was working. I swear it was working just fine, but I did the same strategy. I held out for as long as I could. And I'm like, I just want to relax and enjoy this nitrous oxide. But I'm like, no, I just have to summon enough energy to keep lying to this man. So he keeps supplying it.

I wonder if that's the same stuff that you get for surgery. Because I've been put under twice that I can actually remember. When they scrubbed the hand from the burn, I wasn't supposed to be getting put under. I need to ask Dad. How old were you? 16. 16, I think. Maybe 15.

I think 15, actually, because I don't think I had a way to drive. I think that it wasn't supposed to put me unconscious. It was just supposed to, you know, be a painkiller so they could scrub all the fucking flesh off the back of my hand. It was these big, nasty blisters and the acetylene had made it all sooty black. So they had to clean it. And, uh, but I don't know if I was unconscious or not. I think it's quite possible that I was awake i just have no memory of it um but then you know i've been put on under twice for uh for like uh surgeries and uh

i wonder what that gas is is that all is it gas they give you it's it's not an injection some kind of gas thing when i broke my nose they gave me that i remember them telling me like count backwards from 10 and i was like i'm gonna be the one who makes it all the way and i'm like 10 9 8 i think this is where you get i think six is about where you get you guys i think i made it to seven i got far i when i broke my arm the one of my worst injuries um i've told this story before and maybe you but there's a broken arm and they need to reset it so they're going to put me under and they put something it was an IV and they inject something into the IV

and they're like count backwards from 100 and you know the deal you make it to like 98 97 and you're done and I'm just going the 90s are done the 80s are done I'm in the 70s and they're like you're seriously not going out yet they like doubled it some more and i'm nine eight seven yeah i'm in the 70s or something and i'm not feeling anything like it's not working on me in the slightest and uh they're like guys i

think his ivy came out i think we put all of that somewhere not in in his bloodstream. And, uh, and then I remember like, I don't, don't quote me on that. It was a crash cart, but it's this big cart on wheels that had paddles on it and other shit. And they ram it through the door into like the operating room that I'm in. And everyone seems very alarmed. And then they, they put a mask on me and that's where my story ends.

And yeah, they made a mistake, I guess. And it turned out a bunch of fun drugs pumped into like randomly. Yeah. Yeah. And, and they just dealt with it from there and I have no recollection of it or

anything. I just remember what happened until they put me under. Yeah. But the biggest thing was how alarmed they were and, and how like they opened the doors with the cart in a hurry like pow so people come rushing in and it was like fuck i think something bad is happening that's fucked watch people die it's oh die inside good i didn't want to watch people actually die actually watch people die is now like a jokey one too that's watch people fucking die is a joke watch people unless unless they're both i think they i think may have just removed watch people die okay you know i wanted to with all the stuff that's

going on with iran i wanted to see what the donald was up to i hadn't gone there so long that i don't think i'd been since it'd been quarantined and i'm like i gotta sign in just to go there and then once you're signed in you gotta be like are you sure that you want to view us by quarantine subreddit i'm like yeah what the fuck it's like i can watch all you guys knew the stuff i watched there's so many horrific things that you can just one click not signed in on reddit and view and but it's like are you ready to meme it up boy how many pepe's you got come on how hardcore and i get there and you know it's what you'd expect it's nothing actually there was uh one post that was actually like pretty hateful and i think they called gay people the f word that seemed ridiculous um but that was the that was the that was the outlier big time.

Mostly, it's just God Emperor Trump and him in space armor. Part of the Space Force. Clinton with that madam. That stuff you'd expect. Stuff that you might see on a conservative Facebook page or just are conservative. My Facebook feed. Or Woody's Facebook feed. So I got a gentleman here.

This is, as Taylor mentioned, on the Watch People Die Inside subreddit. This is a bench press fail. All right. I'm ready. Let me ask you a question, Taylor. You've spotted people at benchpress before, I'm sure. Yeah. Right?

How seriously do you take that job? Depends on how heavy it is they're lifting. 225. This guy looks pretty big. Like, I would assume, like, oh, he's not going to need much help. But I would still be there in case he started struggling. Yeah. Yeah, but I'll tell you my thoughts on it.

I took a couple years of weightlifting in high school. be there in case he started struggling yeah yeah but i i'll tell you my thoughts on it i think a couple years of weightlifting in high school and like our max was like 165 or something like that so it was like but you know you don't want to i i took it seriously like i was like let's get this off you well 165 pounds that falls on you yeah it's gonna do some fucking damage yeah oh it'll kill you if it falls on your trachea. But nobody wants it left on them. I never thought that was cool or funny at all. Of course not. Hey, do unto others as you can.

You need to have an environment of trust when you're weightlifting because the person that you're spotting is going to need to spot you later and you don't want to be the guy that's fiddle-fucking around. Well, this gentleman here does not subscribe to our personal views on spotter lifter relationships i am ready ready set play oh he dropped that hard he did He's not going up at all. No! No!

He's got his tongue out. That's not how I thought this was going. I thought someone was going to get hurt. We covered the whole watch people die parallel. Yeah, this guy is a real piece of shit yeah he's making the guy roll the bar down his body and like the emergency escape of it yeah yeah i've done that guy who did the ass thing that's why i don't put the lock that dude gets hit by a car the second he steps out in the parking lot that was that he's like call it call it call it and i hope that guy pulls his pants down

shits right into his open it's funny is a piece of shit well i'm so passionate about this i am too no i put the same way of trust and first of all he's down right here it's i don't know if you've ever been in a position where you are like that when you're like oh my god that look heavy i physically can't i guarantee that was more than 225 i do too after i watched it and saw like the him like this and him having to roll it down like that like he that guy's a piece of shit what a betrayal of trust yeah that that's probably 275 or something like he looked like a big guy and and it's scary to get down like that and no i am not capable of putting this back up like they like at least for like when i'm

benching there are times when i'm like coming down and i have like safety bars so if i do drop it like it's gonna come down like an inch above my neck or chest or whatever or not even that much really and there are times when i'm coming down i'm like i don't know if i can get it back up but in the back of my head i'm like you're saying that to yourself as a motivating tactic you know you're gonna be able to put this back up but damn laying there not being able to move it feeling helpless and then your fucking cunty friend or some hopefully it was a friend or an ex-friend not some random have you had many lifting failures lately, Taylor? Lately, no.

No, I haven't. The entire time... Maybe I'm misremembering. I don't think... If I have had to bail on a lift since I've been using my downstairs gym here, it's been once, but once or twice maybe. For the most part,

I really don't have to deal with it. Those safety bars make it easy. It wasn't a bench, though. My benches have been fine, but I had a squat go wrong squats that go wrong suck like just drop it off your back no no i um well i was in a squat rack so everything's okay but what would have happened is i would have taken a header with the bar pressing my face oh you lost your balance i oh. It's fucked up somehow. I don't know. I, I, like,

very suddenly realized I didn't have it. Were you falling, you were falling forward? Yes. And I was caught by the power rack? Yes. That's what happened, yeah. Because I was in a power rack, and, uh, yeah, I don't know, it wasn't my first squat either. Like, I was, you know, a couple into it, and, uh,

I guess I should have stopped one earlier, and, yeah, I, what would have happened is the bar would have smashed my face into the ground or crunched me into a ball that's too small for me to be in. Maybe. There was 45s on the side. There might be space for my neck in there.

But in any case... It's not this. Yeah, you don't want to have to fight. In any case, when the squat rack caught it, I was like, well love this was a good purchase this is why they have these in gyms yeah yeah i i uh i never i've never used a bench press that had the safety thing there where you absolutely couldn't have it stuck on your chest oh never no my bench press has it has like a safety bar there but you still have to

get it back yeah like you can still put it on your i guess i guess that's what we're talking about so so it's got the regular like i'm gonna call them struts because i don't know what else to call okay that you like rest the bar on right yeah and then it's got like another pair very low yeah that's like the safety one but i still have to manage to get the bar back there out of the normal like position of here. I think you have another move though, right? Like, so mine's like that, but it's a squat rack. So worst case, what's nice, I can touch my like nipples,

but it's also spaced by my neck, right? So I would have it on my neck and then I would just slide out sideways if need be that's the escape plan it i could potentially get mine like on my trachea and just die if i were stupid enough and with you know there's there's nothing there i have to like bring it back to like you know you know yeah it's not nearly as safe it's not nearly as safe so so i would never use the locks on the end i just first of first of all, I'm not lifting all that much. It's like maybe 150, 160 or something.

So like a 45 and a little bit more is fine. So I don't care if they're clanking around a little bit. It's also not like I'm doing 30 or 40 reps at a time. I can just slide them back in. And my move has always been, if I get stuck, is just to fucking ditch them. The locks on the end are very important to me because they increase the amount of time I rest

between sets. Let me just strut over here, take this off. I see. I might need double locks on this fucker. I did that at least once. I might use the ones with the Allen wrench. Screw them all the way.

Where did my Allen wrench go? What was the combination lock on this one? No, I did that one of my first workouts in this basement. If I'm remembering correctly, I think it was this basement. Yeah, it was definitely this one. I like loaded up like not a lot of weight on the bench. And I had my safety rails set, but I hadn't gotten used to it. And so I had it set one lower than I should have. And so I like brought it down for one with the little like

holders on. And I was like, Oh shit. I like did a little test where I was like, Oh no, I'm failing. And it was hitting my chest before it was hitting those safeties. And then I changed it and then went down and it was hitting the safeties before I could hit the part of my chest where you want to hit to get the muscle activation. So I was like, you know what, I'll do lightweight and I'll just take off those blocker things and I'll lower it one so that if I do fail, I'll just tip it. And I started doing it and I guess I was doing it either too fast or not the right speed because before I know it, one of the rubber plates on the right one falls off and now i'm like having to like almost pull with this one like trying to finagle it back into the

fucking thing it was thank god no one was there i felt like a fucking retard but that was the last time i did that have you ever seen someone at the gym actually have some real weight loaded on first of all a couple hundred and unload one side first oh i've seen that all the way oh well that guy's and then just get clipped in the underside of the jaw by the didn't get clipped but it was if everyone who saw it was like totally could have knocked you the fuck out knocked all your teeth out like i've killed you yeah not with hundreds but i've been that guy like when i was a teenager working i've taken too many off one side and it starts to come up and i'm like let's put some back on put it back put it back strategy yeah i've i have no idea i have no recollection as to like how much weight it was but i just know

that it was like i would guess 245s and then a 25 something like that so like 180 uh 225 275 pounds or something like that i think that's what it comes to and like just unloads one side all the way and and it's just it's terrifying because it comes all the way over oh yeah like it doesn't just a lot of weight if you've just got a little weight it'll it'll start lifting and you're like oh not today but he just feel it as you remove it yeah yeah as you you're like whoa okay maybe not that yeah yeah you can fuck up you don't pay attention to what you're doing i like those uh those rubber plates i've always i feel like everybody should just use those that's what i use yeah like the like well they had a huge special on them at titan fitness at the time

when i was buying them all and so I got a bunch of those. Do you have solid rubber or rubber-coated steel? It's rubber-coated plates. Yeah. Are there any solid rubber? They make solid rubber ones, yeah. Would it have to be this wide as a 45? No, no.

The way I remember it, it wasn't all that crazy. I think you might be thinking of it. So Taylor has, I think, what are called bumper plates, and they're all the same size except they're different widths. That's what I wish I had. I have rubber-coated metal plates, and the 25s

are smaller than the 45s. I prefer that. The Olympics. No, wait. I've got the solid rubber ones. You're right. My 45s are pretty fucking girthy. 35s are less. The 10s are pretty narrow. There's no metal in them? In bumper plates? I know you could drop them.

I've only seen one set. I remember in high school in weightlifting class, they were always breaking weights because people would drop them and do stupid stuff. You'd have to send them to welding class and they'd literally weld plates back together. It's like, that's not the same now, is it?

Can you put a bead on this other side? Yeah. And the coach got a, he's like, all right, we got one set from the county of these solid rubber plates. They're not allowed on the squat rack. They're not allowed on bench press. These are power clean and deadlift weights only. So they all just stay over there on the exercises that nobody wants to do.

That's right. These are for the least fun exercises only. That's literally what he did. He made them for the, and I think that was so that the less responsible lifters amongst the class wouldn't be goofing around with them doing bench press and just dropping them on the fucking floor. Or deadlifting with all steel plates and then getting up to your knees or waist

and then just letting go. Another thing that prevents that is if you own the house. You're like, I'm not fucking dropping all this weight on my floor. I'll ruin my back before I destroy my floor. Yeah. I'll ruin my back before I destroy this floor. Yeah.

Back at my last house, it was concrete, and so I didn't care. And throw those rubber mats down. But if you've got hardwood, it's like, whew. Yeah, mine's just rubber mats on carpet. But I still worry that dropping all that would be a big deal. I've got rubber mats on concrete, and so I'm perfectly comfortable throwing it around. They make deadlift platforms you can buy, too.

Basically just big plywood with edges or something. I forget what makes it special, but some people like them. Deadlifts just look unhealthy to me. I have no leg to stand on making an argument one way or another i just know i i happened to catch a video last night or something like that of this guy dead lifting 500 i think and it's respectable i was just like he's straining so hard with so much of his body and when he puts it down everybody's like you know pumped whoa yeah big man and i'm just like are you gonna be okay at 60 dude yes i mean if anything he'll probably be a little better as

long as he keeps his form good his posterior chain strong like deadlift is like the king so wait you're pro deadlift now have you switched back i i'm not i'm not really i deadlift every once in a while but it's not in my main routine. But like I – there is enough evidence of stuff I've read where it's like, yeah, this is really – if you do it correctly, it's really, really good for your overall strength. Here's what happened, right? One of the world's strongest men was on the JRE and he said, I don't do deadlifts. Only do deadlifts if you do deadlift competitions. Otherwise, there's better ways. It's dangerous.

It's more bad than good. Yeah, yeah. Right, right? Do you remember his name uh i don't recall is his r sanderson probably so uh taylor was like hey deadlifts are bad pro athletes aren't doing deadlifts and i'm there watching pro athletes lots of basketball guys have youtube channels and i'm watching them exercise none of them are doing deadlifts right they're all doing weird things like resistance bands on their knees walking sideways and shit but nothing no one's doing deadlifts genius me holds out i keep deadlifts in my routine because 70 years of experience can't be wrong and uh i'm the fuck who hurt my elbow doing the deadlifts and and pull-ups and uh i haven't been

doing deadlifts since i haven't been able to do anything pull until about two weeks from now yeah yeah yeah i mean i feel like i can get the same result i'm not fucking joining the navy or the fucking marines or anything like i don't or being a power man like i'm just trying to you know get stronger and i can do that with things like dips and pull-ups bench overhead row farmers carries fucking you know are you really trying to get stronger are you trying to look better like like what do you care about i want to look better but i also i do want to be strong why do you want to be strong i don't know i like it like i like okay being able to pick stuff

up and it's not difficult maneuver stuff stuff around but definitely as much as that there's a clear would you rather here would you rather look would you rather look 20% fitter no, would you rather look 20% stronger or be 20% stronger let's say your bench press is 200 pounds

right now it's gonna go to uh to 240 240 yeah yeah would you rather instantly go to 240 or instantly just look like a guy who benches 240 yeah that's a good point that's a good point yeah you pick look then i'd pick look on i easily pick look like the most strenuous shit i really have to do is groceries from the car and i'm fucking awesome at it already yeah yeah for real like i can't think of the last time i'm trying to think the last the heaviest thing i pick up is a girl you Oh, I can throw bitches around the room now. I really could. Grab him by the knees, throw him around bed. They're like,

oh my god, you can do that? Yeah, any guy could do that. Yeah, we all can. Not that guy who had this problem with the Spider-Man thing. I bet he could really toss him. Yeah, he probably couldn't toss a fucking... That guy's too busy crying in the bathroom by himself, idiot. But yeah, you made a good point. But it doesn't have to be one or the

other like it's fun being stronger and but the real reward is looking better yeah looking stronger which i gotta gotta do some serious cutting i've been working on that actually so i lost a couple pounds but i'm about to go on vacation in the upcoming week you'll find i'm gonna gain it all back yeah where exactly are you going i'm going to how long will you be away from your household i pulled up the address yeah it's gonna be totally open now my my brother is staying here and he's like i was gonna offer and be like hey i'll pay you x amount a day to stay here and watch my house keep things under order and before i could was like, Taylor, you're going out of town. Can I stay with the dogs?

I was like, well, I suppose you can. As long as you take out the trash. As long as you chip in for utilities. I was counting on this month being a little low. I was going to put it on eco mode. Well, I took the amount of time I'm gone and I prorated my monthly mortgage. So this is what you owe me.

I'm going to end up paying him some. But that was, yeah, he'll be taking care of the pups and probably fucking around on this computer and the weights and stuff. Asterios was on this podcast and he talked about Weight Watchers. And I found it fascinating because Weight Watchers isn't just calorie counting. It's kind of similar to it. But the plan he was on, for example, they do points. I think the guy had like 22 points a day.

Chicken was no points. They're like, you can OD on chicken and bananas. I fucking dare you. No one ever does. I was like, wow. So this isn't just calorie counting. It's like relationship with food i told this i told this to my family anyway now like the half of us are doing weight watchers the other half of us are doing it by proxy and uh suddenly like my meals have no butter in them

just a lot less butter their coffee has a lot less cream because uh like there's we have just more awareness that's what happens when you calorie count or Weight Watchers. All of a sudden, it's like, yeah, that amount of cream we were putting in our coffee, that was just deliciously sinful. Coffee is one of those things, and it's one of those acquired taste things, but it's one of those things that most people have acquired. But a lot of people drink their coffee like it's fucking candy. have acquired but a lot of people drink their coffee like it's fucking candy and like yeah as a as a child like like when i would like wake up early enough it was a fucking miracle to like actually get to the coffee machine and have some tons of creamer and tons of sugar like make it into a dessert but like as an adult like i had a coffee as we started it was just black

i just yeah that's how i black. I just drink it black. At first, it's like, this is no good. After a while, you don't mind the lack of sugar at all. One of the things that... Sometimes I'll put a splash of 2% milk in there, but it's not about the taste at all.

It's more about the texture because the coffee itself can feel weird on your teeth and on your palate. It's more about the texture. Coffee itself can feel weird on your teeth. On your palate. It's water. We've gone from that candy coffee you talked about earlier to something less candy.

Do you use the Keurig? We do, yeah. Have you ever tried an Nespresso? No. It is the Espresso version of a Keurig? We do, yeah. Have you ever tried a Nespresso? No. It is the espresso version of a Keurig. And it uses these little aluminum Keurig pods. They're very small.

If a Keurig is essentially like half dollar sized, you remember those, the Nespresso is dime sized. And it just goes, and gives you a little tiny little shot of espresso i prefer it i like it more than the coffee like whenever i like these are fucking pricey are they it's interesting like are you doing it for effect because sometimes my coffee is only half about the coffee right like i sit down we turn the fireplace on in the kitchen i'm

hanging out with jack, we're talking, like it's how I start my days. And I really like starting, sometimes I go to bed thinking like, ooh, it'll be morning if I can get to sleep and I'll be in the kitchen in the fire with my wife. And that's like, if I were to have, say,

my coffee in a single shot, that's not the experience I want. Yeah, for sure, for sure. If it's a whole part of your routine, then that might not be for the best. But if I... Might be nice to have on the menu, though. Yeah, I like it.

I got cooked on it whenever I was doing that stupid fucking Logan Paul movie. Airplane. Yeah, they just bring them to you. Like we had been working all day working and uh it was nighttime now and we've all been there since early morning mostly sitting around but also standing and just they're sleepy and they just come with a big tray of those fucking shots of nespresso in like little cups and i'm they're you know obviously they're

free they're not charging the backers for their fucking coffee but i'm just like all you can eat is a better way to describe them because there's there's an infinite number of them oh you're just like homer simpson you're like oh yeah i'll have a few of those they got you hooked you know my favorite simpsons episode is it's uh it's the all you can eat buffet episode with homer when he sues the fisherman restaurant. They're dragging him out. Yeah. And they drag him out of the all you can eat buffet and Homer gets a lawyer and sues the restaurant. And in court, Homer's defense attorney is like, is cross-examining Marge put they put marge on the stand for the defense

and he's he's questioning her and he's like mrs simpson what did you do after the uh you were thrown out of all you can eat buffet and she's like um well we pretty much went straight home. Mrs. Simpson, I remind you, you are under oath. We drove around looking for another all-you-can-eat buffet. And when you couldn't find one? We went fishing. She starts crying. We went fishing. Your Honor, does this sound like a man who had

all he could eat? It's so good. Because Homer just went to the buffet and just took the whole steam tray out of the buffet and just went right to the table with it. God damn it, Kyle. you linked the other day on pkn i was like as it finished we i was like you're all i don't know if we did on the show around our little like chit chats afterward i was everybody's like all right you're like i'm

gonna go get dinner what he's like i'm gonna go get dinner and everything and i was like i'm gonna go you know i'm gonna go work out and watch some simpsons while i do it and then have dinner or whatever and kyle was like here's a video of of how Homer is ruined throughout the Simpsons. Don't watch it though. And then as soon as we hung up the call, I was like, don't tell me what to do. And I just clicked it and opened it.

And it was a really well done detailed video. Really well done video. Like I wasn't expecting that. I was expecting more of like a hater thing. Excellent video quality. He does that for a lot of shows. Yeah, I noticed that. I'm going to need to watch some more. But basically, he put into words the trends that I was already noticing, probably more subconsciously while watching the show.

Because I was in season 12 as he's talking about it, and he's really analyzing seasons 1 through 12, and about how after season, what is it, 8? The writers changed, and they took Homer away from being a guy who in the first eight seasons, he's a goober. He's a goofball. You know, he does stupid things. He's silly, but he loves his family. He's trying to do what's right.

He knows how people around him perceive him. So he has an air of shame when he does some consequences. His actions have consequences. That's an important one. Yeah, like Mr. Plow, when he starts his plow company, it ends up being a good idea, has a consequence. Then it takes a turn, not as positive. There's real consequences for it. Real, it's the fucking Simpsons. There's the episode where he loses his job and he can't support his family. And he becomes very depressed. And they make suicide funny.

But Homer's walking down the road with a rock tied to his leg. He's going to the bridge. And there's an old couple on a porch. And the guy goes, where do you think he's going? And the lady goes, well, probably just taking his rock for a walk. The dummy. The big dummy. Homer Simpson is going to commit suicide

because he feels he's failed as a man as a provider for his family his lot in life and he can't fulfill it you know he's got his beards overgrown and he's been lying on that couch depressed unable to find new employment and he's going to kill himself

and that's what the Simpsons used to be like that's heartwarming at the end when it gets turned around. And even the Santa's Little Helper episode, the first one, you know, that was a sad fucking episode until you get right to the end.

But then later on, when they get to the panda raping Homer episode, and you're just like, that happened? Shit, I forgot Homer got raped by a panda. And they made no mention of it. Oh. It just happened, that happened? Shit, I forgot Homer got raped by a panda. And they made no mention of it. It just happened and then the next... Now I need to watch it. Wait, I thought they were going to give

season one Homer a hard time. Because I didn't like him. That guy was mean. That guy choked Bart all the time. He was an idiot. He was quick to anger. He was an abusive father. He wasn't as much of an idiot as he was later on. Yeah. He's even dumber now. Like he was,

he was at least, he was like an abusive father, but he still loved Bart. He loved his family. Like he was trying to provide. And then like this guy makes a really compelling case throughout it. And I mean, I mean, good Lord, I can't imagine how much more compelling a case you can make for seasons 13 through 30. I haven't watched those. I probably won't make it through, but like just watching seasons nine, 10, 11 and 12, especially like 11 and 12.

It's like, he's not just a fool anymore. He's an over the top. He's just a prop for other characters. It feels like to just, just a sounding board of idiocy. Like he's not, he doesn't get embarrassed anymore.

He's not ashamed. But you saw season one recently. He was, yeah, I liked season one. Like it's more touching. I remember him being me. Oh,

it's funny. Yeah. Maybe I need to rewatch it because in my memory, which can be flawed, I, it's almost like he didn't love Bart. He just was so quick to anger. It was like an alcoholic father or something like not someone you'd want in

your house in the early season. He's still not like like the the good father in those like he was but he was more of like a family man he's had his his yeah he was dreamable it's a good way to put it like but like when he's i like the cape fear episode that's one of my favorite ones where they're out on the boat and everything and then homer kicks in the door as Bart's sleeping soundly at night in the dark. As Bart's terrified that Sideshow Bob is going to get him. And Homer storms in with a butcher knife. And he goes, Bart, would you like a brownie before you go to bed? And he gets over there.

And he's like, ah! Yeah, and I'm a little nervous. Can you not burst into my room brandishing a butcher knife and screaming? And he's like, I'm sorry, Bart. And he gives him a kiss and walks away. Doesn't he immediately come back like a chainsaw or something? Bert, do you want to see my brand new chainsaw? He's an idiot. He's funny, but he's trying to connect with his boy. Is that season one? No. That's season five, I think.

See, that's different. It's season one in particular. It's almost like season one no season five i think see that's different it's season one in particular is almost like season one michael scott we're like people forget that he's because the animation yeah season one is a pretty rough animation but i'm saying if you want to re-watch the simpsons like i'm already jumping over to futurama i like that show a lot too but seasons one to eight of the simpsons really prime and it sucked because like as i was watching it i was i was in season nine ten and those really aren't that because like as i was watching it i was in season 9 10 and those really aren't that bad like maybe i just wasn't paying that much attention because it's more of a background show for me but i was thinking in my head i'm like man i got a lot

of content to get through like i know it's gonna get worse but i can't get that much worse and it does pretty quickly you know what i'm watching right now uh actually re-watching is hannibal the tv show. You ever see that? I never watched that, no. I don't think so. Really? Dude, just watch episode one and see what you think.

What's it on? Maybe Amazon Prime. Might be on Amazon Prime. So essentially it's, I don't know how big of a fan you are of the whole Red Dragon, Silence of the Lambs. Red Dragon wasn't that great, but I liked Silence of the Lambs. Okay, so this is more based on the period of time that Red Dragon is based on. So this circles around Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham.

Will Graham is an analyst for the FBI. He's somewhere on the spectrum between Asperger's and sociopathic insane person. He's, and it allows him, his particular, um, issues allow him to sympathize with anyone. And so he's a very good crime scene. He's very, he's a very good, um, analyst for crime scenes and he's able to get inside the head uh the heads of these um these serial killers that they're often tracking down and um who's the guy that plays morpheus in uh in um matrix uh not my strength yeah it's it's it's not mine today either for some reason i wanted to say morgan freeman so bad i know it's not him. It's Lawrence Fishburne. Lawrence Fishburne's in it. He plays like the

director of the FBI or maybe the director of like their, like a special unit of the FBI. And he recruits Will Graham to help him with a particularly gruesome and difficult to understand case. And then Hannibal Lecter is also involved, but this is before he's been found out to be a murdering psychopathic cannibal. This is when he's still a practicing psychiatrist. So he's very mustache twiddling behind the scenes. I have seen an episode or two of this. Pretending like he's helpful, but meanwhile always being this masterful gourmand,

preparing human flesh in the most exquisite ways, like with like violin music playing in the background and then feeding it to his... I've seen at least one season of this. Yeah. I like it a lot. There's only three seasons of it. It's incredibly violent and gory.

And somehow they're able to show every bit of a woman's body except for like the three square inches that matter like like like they can literally have a woman naked skewered on antlers in a field and you're getting a full side view and you see nothing that that network tv couldn't allow like like the antler like goes through her nipples so there are no nipples i see like like you know it's it's pretty absurd um attacks fully fallen leaf on the pussy yeah um it's uh mads mickelson uh coolest name ever right he plays um mads is the man's name god damn what a cool fucking name is uh hannibal lecter and he does a very good job at that he's he's very odd

um he's very fun to watch he played a james bond villain um a while back maybe one of the daniel craig movies oh casino royale he was the villain in casino royale i believe did a really good job there and now i like him in anything he's like a he reminds me a bit of christoph waltz he's this like odd foreign actor who's really talented and anytime he's in something like he's he really knocks out of the park but anyway hannibal is a pretty good fucking show it's crazy violent and really gory and and and dark and sick is it only three seasons long or is it only three seasons and they wrapped it up. Oh, okay. Yeah, they got canceled. It's so dark and so fucked up.

I think they couldn't really find a big audience, but it's very, very well made. It's a cool show. I do know I've watched some of that. It was good. I just started re-watching it. I'm like four episodes into the first season or whatever. But yeah, I liked it the first time.

And, you know, I do this with all shows. If I like a show after two or three years go by, I give it a rewatch and it's time for this one. I don't know how it got into my head, but Taylor, do you and your lady friend ever talk about baby names? No, no, I've never mentioned that. Jackie and I did long before we planned on having kids. We just like bat around

names have favorites that would evolve that's mine woody is a good name for a boy or girl just throwing that out there what would you name a kid taylor gilgamesh i don't know all right i laughed a little quick i'm glad you're joking gilgamesh uh actually that's dad's name. What's so funny? Ichabod. I don't know. I like James. James is a good name. I like James more than Jim. That's the thing.

It's versatile. Just like Robert. It's like a bisexual name. Bob. You can really float it around. Richard. If it's a girl, Jamie. It's a versatile name. Bob. You can really float it around. Richard. Hey, if it's a girl, Jamie. It's a personal name. If it's a boy,

Jamie. And I'm a big Captain Kirk fan. I've always liked girl names that were boy names, like Taylor or Alex. Alex Alexandria, but she'd be Alex. Sam with Samantha. I've always thought that was a cool little thing. Yeah, me too. It's

kind of, I don't know, it's like a short haircut on a girl. It can be very good. And she can choose, it's versatile too. She can be, you know, she can go by Samantha or she can go by Sam. It's like a girl with a good... Happy trail. I'm on your, yeah, I'm with you, Kyle Kyle That's where you were headed Oh yeah I started picturing it And I got real caught up I've been there So Taylor Did you give girl names

What would you like I haven't given any thought to this But you will It's only a matter of time until someone sneaks past the goalie unless i'm sterile never been tested and i always have a space heater on under here killing my sperm intentionally so yeah smart I don't know. I don't know. I haven't even ever thought about women in my family's names.

Kyle, you ever think about a baby name? I know you don't. Ashley? Yeah, I just told you the one. James. James is mine. James for boy or girl? Jamie for a girl, James for a boy, I think. I like both. I had a childhood... I had a family friend think i like both um i i um i like i had a childhood i had like a family friend her name was jamie she died of uh cancer this year and uh my uh my dad's

adopted sort of grandfather figure because his father died of cirrhosis of the liver very early and he never knew his own grandfather but his his uh his grandmother's uh husband um i hope that makes sense. His name was James and, uh, I never met the man, but, but dad's told me stories about him and, uh, and I liked that name and that was a real good guy. And, uh, and, and I liked that, you know, big Captain Kirk fan too, James T. Kirk. And, uh, so, so I like James. I like it too. I like James too. I didn't even put the pieces together. I have a grandpa named James. Yeah, that's a good one. Boom.

Boom. I had an old friend who died yesterday. Decided. I hadn't thought about him for ages. So my first year as a lifeguard, I wasn't that popular. I got picked on a little bit. And this guy didn't. This guy was like everyone looked up to and respected this guy.

This guy was like everyone looked up to and respected this guy. I feel like his position was so strong that he was able to almost extend a protective wing to me. Whenever I worked with him or whenever I was near him. He was your snow. He was my snow. Yeah. And I hadn't thought about him for ages. thought about him for ages and uh i have a friend on facebook who posted a link to the article that uh sort of celebrated his life because he had died from cancer damn it yeah it fucking sucks not a fan not a fan i think he had non-hot i'm gonna get it mia something like that are you

yeah what makes you say all of us at some point i'll get. I just think I've got a family history of it. My dad has been fine. He's had no issues. My mom, she's had a tumor before. And my grandmother died of cancer. And my other grandmother died of cancer. And both my grandfathers died of alcoholism-related illnesses. But safe to say, I just feel I just feel like gonna get it. Plus, you know, smoked for so long,

you know, smoked for a good solid eight, nine years. My grandparents are in their late 70s and they smoked for like 45, no, what, 55 years? Oh, thank you for this anecdotal cancer, Evan and Taylor. Jesus Christ, I think Philip Morris is like, yeah, yeah, that's right! Listen, I smoke every day!

I think I'm more of a heart disease guy. Looking at my family's history, I think that's how I'm going down. You eat too healthy for that. I feel like... Oh, I'm a heart disease guy. You know, Rogan's on the carnivore diet right now. What a fucking retard.

Carnivore diet? I hope that means he only eats things that eat other animals. Who's our boy from Canada? Jordan Peterson. Jordan Peterson did a ton of research about the carnivore diet. He's on it. He supports it. He says it's a great idea.

He tells it's the easiest way to get off of prescription pills. Look, I don't think I'd on it. He supports it. He says it's a great idea. He tells it's the easiest way to get off of prescription pills. Look, I don't think I'd do it. It seems kind of boring, but the way, essentially, as long as it's an animal product, you can do it. So milk, cheese, eggs, beef. Rogan, of course, is eating a lot of veal, or not veal, elk.

But he's mixing in a lot of fat, a lot of animal fat, like pork fat. Wait, elks aren't carnivores. He's the carnivore. I don't like that. That's pussy. I want to be the carnivore carnivore diet. I've been eating coyote meat all week.

I eat strictly tigers and lions and I don't know, hippos. Dude, that meat would taste fucking shitty. And hippos are not carnivores. I've been eating nothing but coyote meat. Okay, I don't know a lot about hippos apparently. I don't know. Now watch asos apparently. I don't know. Now watch as the hippo brings down the gazelle. It's bounding across.

I could eat alligator. I was joking about a thing where he's like, oh, I'm going to do the carnivore diet where you do this and that and this. And it's like, dude, how about you just throw a handful of broccoli or asparagus next to it? Oh,

that would ruin it. That's not good for you. He was talking about how he was talking about his liquid shits and how I can't trust a fart. Because he has no fiber in his body. His shits are either full liquid or it's just, no, it's full liquid compact.

Okay. Well then, well, you know, liquid shits is a sign of hell. I've never heard anyone say that until just now. Dude, when I'm tailgating, or if I'm drinking all day at some get-together, and the next day I take a nice liquid beer shit with like pizza, that's how I know my body's working

at 100% capacity. Like, no, you want to have a nice, I had a wonderful shit today. I had a good poop yesterday. I had poop yesterday i wiped and that was just a waste of time it was oh my god i'm glad you guys go shit i know we're getting closely in here but let me try to find this oh my god this is one we can't um show the fans but we can direct them to um i think it's i found a new subreddit. I think it's called Cursed Video. Oh, okay. That doesn't sound too bad.

Yeah, well, you're wrong. Cursed Video is fucked. I'm going to top all time so I can find the video that... Yeah, there's Cursed a couple things. Oh, thanks, now I hate this this that's the worst subreddit let's see oh am i not gonna be able to find it that's gonna suck there'll be more shows cursed joint all right so essentially it's um i'm gonna keep scrolling in case i do find it so we can watch it but i'm Ooh, that's terrifying to look at.

Basically there's a lot of horrific things on here. It's like, it's a couple of British guys and one of them is offering another one, a decent wad of cash and you don't know for what, like it's, it's like, let's call it $250. And, and he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, you know, 20, 40, 60, you know, all the way, all the numbers. And the guy's like, all right, let's do it. And the guy who's being paid lies down on the floor. shits on his chest before you can even prepare yourself for for someone shitting on another man's chest randomly i'm talking about the biggest it's it's not liquid but it's certainly not hard it comes out like like one of those play-doh fucking makers. It comes out like a pound and a half,

I'm not exaggerating, of Play-Doh, ejects from this man's ass in a long, thick turd right on this dude's chest. I hope you don't find it. I can't find it. And you can't even react fast enough. You can't turn away.

This is one of those where sometimes I see people really bust their ass on a skateboard and you know they're about to slide their palms. that really gives me the heebie-jeebies when somebody gets bad road rash and i'll look away there was no time to look away this man took like a dog food bowl full of shit right to his chest and they're all laughing it up and then they all start gagging and running out of the room. And I was just like, what is this new subreddit I found?

It's wonderful. And the more I go through it, the more awful it is. Another thing that I found on there, I believe it's a copypasta about something called The Rake. You probably don't know about that or what that is I'm just going to link you to this and if you don't want to be able to sleep well tonight just read through it

I like creepypasta that's one of the good reddits I like it's called no sleep it's like spooky stories I guarantee this is pretty high up there on no sleep somewhere along the way it's uh but yeah go to creepy pop definitely been on this site before yeah i might check out the rake story maybe on this i don't know is there um spelunking involved i i i scanned it and essentially there's a few stories involving what's sort of like a mothman type monster that people have reported over a long period of time. And they all describe it similarly.

And there's one story in particular. Should I read it? It's horrific. I think it's. Is it too long? No, no, no, no. I'll. Is it multi pages or is this the whole thing? No, no, no, no. Is it multi-pages or is this the whole thing?

No, it's not even, it's an excerpt from this. This page is multiple stories. I'm trying to find the one. Three years ago, I had just returned from a trip from Niagara Falls with my family for the 4th of July. We were all very exhausted after a long day of driving. So my husband and I put the kids right to bed, called it a night. At about 4 a.m., I woke up thinking my husband had gotten up to use the restroom. I used the moment to steal back the sheets, only to wake him in the process. I apologized and told him I thought that he had gotten out of bed. When he turned to face me,

he gasped and pulled his feet up from the end of the bed. So quickly, his knee almost knocked me out of the bed. He then grabbed me and said nothing. After adjusting to the dark for a half second, I was able to see what caused the strange reaction. At the foot of our bed, sitting and facing away from us, there was what appeared to be a naked man, or a large, hairless dog of some sort. Its body position was disturbing and unnatural as if it had been

hit by a car or something. For some reason, I was not instantly frightened by it, but more concerned as to its condition. At this point, I was somewhat under the assumption that we were supposed to help it. My husband was peering over his arm and knee, tucked into the fetal position, occasionally glancing at me before returning to the creature. In a flurry of motion, the creature scrambled around the side of the bed and then crawled quickly in a flailing sort of motion right along the bed until it was less than a foot from my husband's face. The creature was completely silent for about 30 seconds, probably closer to five. It just seemed like a while. Just looking at my husband,

the creature then placed its hand on his knee and ran to the hallway, the hallway leading to the kids' rooms. I screamed and I ran for the light switch, planning to stop him before he hurt my children. When I got to the hallway, the light from the bedroom was enough to see it, crouching and hunched over about 20 feet away. He turned over and looked directly at me, covered in blood. I flipped the switch to the wall and saw my daughter, Clara. The creature ran down the stairs while my husband and I rushed to help our daughter. She was very badly injured and spoke only once more in her short life. She said, and spoke only once more in her short life. She said,

he is the rake. My husband drove his car into a lake that night while rushing our daughter to the hospital. They did not survive. Being in a small town, news got around pretty quickly. The police were helpful at first, and the local newspaper took a lot of interest as well. However, the story was never published, and the local television really never followed up either.

This goes on for a while, but... It's not too much longer. Finish. Okay. Finish it up. For several months, my son Justin... I want to do a whole episode where we read spooky podcasts. For several months, my son Justin and I stayed in a hotel near my parents' house. After we decided to return home,

I decided to look for answers myself. I eventually located a man in the next town over who had a similar story. We got in contact and began talking about our experiences. He knew of two other people in New York who had seen the creature we now referred to as the Rake. It took the four of us about two solid years of hunting on the internet and writing letters to come up with a small collection of what we believed to be accounts of the Rake. It took the four of us about two solid years of hunting on the internet

and writing letters to come up with a small collection of what we believed to be accounts of the Rake. None of them gave any details, history, or follow-up. One journal had an entry involving the creature in its first three pages and never mentioned it again. A ship's log explained nothing of the encounter, saying only that they were told to leave by the rake. That was the last entry in the log. There were, however, many instances where the creature's visits were one of a series of visits with the same person. Multiple people also mentioned being spoken to, my daughter included. This led us to wonder if the rake had visited any of us before our last encounter. I set up a digital recorder near my bed, and I left it running all night, every night, for last encounter. I set up a digital recorder near my bed and I left it running

all night every night for two weeks. I would tediously scan through the sounds of me rolling around in my sleep each day when I woke up. By the end of the second week, I was quite used to the occasional sound of sleep while blurring through the recording at eight times the normal speed. This still took almost an hour every day. On the first day of the third week, I thought I heard something different. What I found was a shrill voice. It was the rake. I can't listen to it long enough to even begin to transcribe it. I haven't let anyone listen to it yet.

All I know is that I've heard it before, and now I believe that it spoke when it was sitting in front of my husband. I don't remember hearing anything at the time, but for some reason the voice on the recorder immediately brings me back to that moment the thoughts that must have gone through my daughter's head make me very upset I have not seen the rake since he ruined my life but I know that he has been in my room

while I slept I know and fear that one night I'll wake up and I'll see him staring at me ooooh spooky yeah that's a good story I'm gonna read more creepypasta I'm in the mood to be spooked

I'm not I didn't care for that I only scanned it the first time through I didn't stop because I didn't think it was entertaining I was just done well I didn't care for that it's the image. The image of the Ray.

Yeah, thank you. Thank you, Smeagol. Yeah, he's got a very Gollum sort of look about him. Low BMI? Healthy eyes? Low BMI. Yeah, I could take that guy's job. Flexible? Right? That could be him.

Move over, Randy Serkis. I'm going to become the Ray. Did you say Randy Serkis? Andy, right? Am I wrong? Oh, okay. I'm Randy Serkis. Well, I think that was a good little cap off.

Yeah, I had fun. I hope you guys enjoyed our guest tonight. I know that's a little different than the sort, the ilk that we normally have on the program. He's a really cool dude. Yeah.

We've got a couple of cool guests coming this month. I'm not going to spoil anything because you never know when something's going to come out of the blue and mess somebody up. I mean,

there's all sorts of scheduling things. But I'll say this. Two of the guests that are coming up I have been fans of for many years alright

cool PKA 473 no outros? nope