Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #477

Starting point is 00:00:00 All right, man. PKA episode 477 with our guest, Daniel Negreanu. Kyle? Couple of sponsors tonight, Postmates and Netgear. But yeah, we have Daniel Negreanu. I'm a huge fan of yours. You've won like six major poker championships. You've won over $40 million.

Starting point is 00:00:17 I've been a fan of yours for like 10 years. I played poker as a job for two or three years in my early 20s. And like everybody else during the big poker boom after Moneymaker, I played poker as a job for two or three years in my early 20s. And, you know, like everybody else during the big poker boom after Moneymaker, just made it explode all over ESPN and the world. I started watching then. And you were, I've always been one of my favorite players. Your reads are incredible.

Starting point is 00:00:42 You don't get too serious at the table, which I love. And when you make Phil Hellmuth rage, it just tickles me pink. I love it. I love it. So I'm very happy to have you on tonight. I spoke to my father a couple hours ago. He and I have played poker for years. He plays two or three nights a week in cash games.

Starting point is 00:00:59 And I was like, Daniel Negreanu is on tonight. I'm going to get to talk to him. Anything you want me to ask him? He's like, well, tell him last week I lost $800 when I had had a full house and the other guy drew out and called my 500 bet made four of a kind so yeah thank you for coming on it's it's uh it's it's it's really cool for me to have you on i'm a huge fan it's a pleasure and i just want to say sorry for your father because i've never heard a story like that before in my life like not one you lost the poker hand i mean oh my god exactly yeah yeah that doesn't happen most of the time yeah yeah well woody and i have played poker once or twice not for money just to pass the time i've won fives if not tens of dollars on occasion yeah yeah i wanted

Starting point is 00:01:47 to ask about about like um the big televised cash games like like how much of that is i don't know if there's a trade secret how much of that is the players cash that they you know they're drawn out of their bank account how much of it is being fronted by someone else so that's going to depend on the person right when? When you see me playing for money on TV, a hundred percent of that money is my money. And you know, so when I'm losing big pots, when there's a big high stakes poker hand, I lost like a 600 K pot. That was all me. Most of the players that play high stakes, it's all their money on occasion, especially back during the boom. A lot of people wanted to get some recognition they wanted to be on tv they didn't really have the bankroll to put up that kind of money to play

Starting point is 00:02:28 so they might sell percentages of themselves you know like 50 or something like that and play for a shorter percentage but real but really it's it's as real as it gets i mean when you're watching high stakes poker on tv that money's real money wait wait i'm not a poker guy like kyle so i i can't accept this you're saying that that money i thought you bought in for like i don't know five grand or something and then they gave you a million imaginary dollars and you just bet that until it went away and first second and third place got some winnings off of that this is all you're talking about tournaments yeah so like high stakes poker which he was talking about cash games like when i played the high stakes poker the first season i put a million in cash of my own money on that's like there was real money what you're talking

Starting point is 00:03:13 about is tournaments where let's say for example everyone puts up 10 000 and you know you get like 50 000 worth of chips that you know for your 10k and now you know the bets you're making that's all part of a tournament they're not actually like oh betting 350 000 but 1.5 million um so it's different when you're talking about tournaments or cash cash it's just straight by the number tournaments it gets uh like if you watch the main event of the world series of poker like by the end of it you know one guy's betting like 20 million raise 40 million that. That's not real money. That's just chips. So, but, um, when it's chips versus real money, how does that impact your strategy? Like, you know, when to make your moves? Well, tournaments are different. Like one of the other

Starting point is 00:03:54 things you sort of mentioned is like, okay, when you play cash, you're either winning or losing this money. That's the end of it. This hand it's, it's all in a vacuum. Whereas in tournaments, where you get knocked out could mean you make money. So if there's a hundred people, maybe they have a system where the top 15 will make the money. So you have 85 losers. And then the guy who comes in 15th, maybe doubles his money. And each spot you go up, you get more. So maybe the top guy gets 40 or 50% of the prize pool. Second gets 20 or something like that. That requires a different, you know, set of set of strategies because cash, you're just trying to make the best decisions to win the most money. But in a tournament, sometimes like, okay, let's say for example, you're doing fine,

Starting point is 00:04:34 but there's a guy over there. He's got really short chips. He's going to be out any minute now. Well, if you get knocked out on his hand, you might cost yourself a hundred thousand in real money because you didn't wait this guy out. So now you're going to play real careful and conservative and be like, yeah, I don't want to, I don't want to mess with you. So that creates a, there's a nerdy term for it. It's called ICM independent. It's chip model thing where, uh, players think about, okay, not just simply like, Oh, I have a pair of jacks.'s great but if i fold these jacks these guys go broke i automatically make money so that's what's different about tournaments that was really well explained i'm excited for you as a guest not my first time i know a lot more about poker than i

Starting point is 00:05:17 did three minutes ago i think i'm ready daniel you deal so were you were you always just kind of intuitively good at that game at reading people figuring it out or was it you know like you know studying process I was reading about you and like it seems like kind of ever since you were a kid this is the path you wanted to choose were you did you recognize in yourself like a an affinity for it I mean I loved it we played in high school I used to play pool I was a snooker player, you know, in pool halls and, you know, some guys started to play poker. I had no idea what was going on in the first month. You know, I thought it was just a game of luck. I didn't really know. And then I realized why the hell the same guys keep winning. Like, are they just luckier than everybody else? And that's sort of, you know, I was intrigued by that. I'm very

Starting point is 00:06:01 competitive, always had been. So I wouldn't say I was good right off the bat, but I had like a real drive and I enjoyed it so much that I spent a lot of time and effort to get better quick. And I did within a couple months, those guys I was playing with, I was able to beat them just by, you know, learning through trial and error. Like, okay, what does this guy do that makes sense? That works. All right. Let me, you ever watched that show heroes on NBC back in the day? Yeah. There was a character named Siler and he was like, uh, he was one of them hero people that had like special talent. Everyone had a special skill they could do, whether it was like not dying a fire or whatever, he would suck their brain and like take bits of whatever they could do to make himself

Starting point is 00:06:39 all powerful. Well, that's kind of what I did in poker. This guy, he's a bluffer. He bluffs really well. Okay. This guy, he's smart. He plays few hands. And I took the best of what I saw in my opponents and tried to create like, you know, the perfect combination of that. Okay. Was that at a time when, when you were playing kind of a, I guess maybe just a private game or where it might even be technically not, not so legal. Yeah, I mean, literally, I started in basement games, in my basement. I was a teenager, but I'm Canadian, eh? So I would drink a case of beer, like 24 beers. We'd play poker until 9 in the morning at my house

Starting point is 00:07:14 with a bunch of guys that were much older than me. How much did you weigh? How much did I weigh? To drink a case of beer is a good amount of beer. It's so crazy. I wouldn't even feel drunk like it's so different now i'm lightweight comparatively but like you're playing poker you just beers go and you start around eight nine o'clock p.m and then at 8 a.m i'm still

Starting point is 00:07:34 having a beer i'm like teenage do you weigh what 150 no i was 130 also that you know you you kind of built up like a bankroll when you were young and then moved to vegas to try and you know kick it off there and on your first go you i guess went broke and had to go back to Toronto. After that happened, was there any part of you that was like, well, fuck, I guess I'm going to go be an accountant or something now? I'm going back. Well, no, the first time, you're right, I did go broke. The second time, I also went broke. The third and fourth and fifth time were the last five or six times I went broke before I started to figure it out. So the way I looked at it was like, it was almost like if you think of sports, right. It was like, okay, that's the

Starting point is 00:08:28 major leagues. And I was a minor league player. I'd get a call up, get my ass kicked, have to go back down to the minors in Toronto and build up a bankroll, go back, give it another shot till I sort of figured it out in Vegas. I learned the adjustments and stuff like that necessary succeed against, you know, top pros. top pros. And after about a year, I would say I was able to start to put it together. I was just learning and going broke all the time. I went broke more times than I can count. Yeah. But by a bankroll, how much money is that? See, the thing is I was a teenager, right? Or late teens, early twenties. You're talking like $3,000 sometimes, 55,000, $10,000.

Starting point is 00:09:06 Never more than $20,000 or $30,000. That's a lot to come up with though. Maybe not for you today, but for young Daniel, $3,000, you worked hard to get there even. Well, yeah. The thing is, when I'd go broke in Vegas, come back to Toronto and people knew I was good. So I would borrow money. I'd be like, can I borrow $500 or a thousand? I'd work my way up for play for like a month or two in Toronto,

Starting point is 00:09:29 build up a bankroll of like five or 10,000, bring it back to Vegas, drop it off, go back home, get some more money, drop that off. You know, it was,

Starting point is 00:09:38 it was like a bank. They saw you coming. Oh, Daniel, welcome back. Would you like a drink? You could have saved money if you just mailed it there that reminds me of like the motion yeah seriously it wouldn't have been nearly as fun to just

Starting point is 00:09:50 checking the mail there was one story where i felt like that guy we're like the sucker i remember where it was like we're at binion's horseshoe back when that was a thing and i mean like was playing till like four o'clock in the morning or something and it was eight or nine people at the table i went broke i lost my last dollar i went to the bathroom to wash up and i got out of the bathroom this is like four minutes they were all gone i'm like holy shit like they were only playing because of me and that was like a distinct realization that as much as i'm like the big fish in tor, you know, in Vegas, like they saw me as, you know, the meat, I was the guy that was the mark. Hey guys, Daniel's coming from Toronto.

Starting point is 00:10:31 Yeah. That guy, he's coming. Oh, he's funny. Isn't he? You look down on the players that lose money. Like I can, I can imagine this scenario where pretending a wealthier version of me is like, yeah, I'll probably lose 20 grand tonight, but I'm going to be at the same table with Daniel and this guy and that guy. And I find that to be worth it. Do you look at that guy and think he's an idiot or just on vacation? It's okay. Listen, you know what? Listen, if you've made a fortune in your life where you can just blow 20 or 30,000, who's the idiot, right? A lot of these poker players who mock like the businessman. I know this guy, He's a billionaire. He's bad at poker. He comes in.

Starting point is 00:11:06 He'll lose $100,000, $200,000. People go, oh, what a fish he is. I'm like, he could buy you 20 times over. He lives an awesome life on an island, travels the world, has a hot girlfriend. He does your job for fun. I mean, and he's just having fun. It's just like when you think of the bigger game, the bigger poker game, Wall whatever the case may be you know they're playing high stakes so like i don't mock those guys i if anything you know i respect and envy them yeah that'd be so fucking sick imagine having

Starting point is 00:11:36 enough money that you could lose like 115 000 and then be able to sleep that night right it's just like that that story I told you guys a while back. You should try it. The first time I lost over a million, it was 1.3 million in a game, I slept like a baby. Like a solid 10-hour sleep. Was that the case of beer contributing to that?

Starting point is 00:11:57 No, sober as a judge. After a 23-hour session, just blowing up my bankroll, slept like a baby. It's like that story. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if you've ever heard of dan bulzerian he's a big course player and yeah so i was i was hanging out with dan a few years ago and he's telling me this story um he was playing at some other guy's house and and who had regular really big private cash games and uh one of the players had gotten they're just they're in a massive mansion

Starting point is 00:12:26 somewhere there's this incredible home this this multi-million dollar home and one of the guys wanders away from the game and i guess he really had to shit and before he found the bathroom it started happening and so he has shit in little puddles as he has traversed the home looking for the bathroom. He's pooped everywhere. Like all over the carpet. And then I guess he got a little tuckered out. So he hopped into a random bed where a bunch of coats were. And now there's poop all over the bed.

Starting point is 00:12:59 And somebody runs to the homeowner, right? This guy with this $10 million home. He's like, look, Larry has shit everywhere. He's shit in the hallway. He's shit in the living room. He has shit in your guest bed. He's like, Larry loses $600,000 here every weekend. He can shit in my mouth if he wants to.

Starting point is 00:13:23 That's a good story. It wasn't until the last sentence of that story that I realized Larry's a pretty cool guy. I was thinking, what a fucking loser. And then, damn. That guy's, that's pretty alpha. Yeah, I shit where I want. I shit where I want. Tell me what to do, bitch.

Starting point is 00:13:43 Daniel, I got a question. So, 90s NBA players genuinely hated each other, actually disliked competitive, off the court, like they didn't like each other. Current NBA players, they're competitive, but there's a bit of a fraternity that they're all in. Where do poker players fit in in that spectrum? Is that your dog, Daniel?

Starting point is 00:14:04 No. That's my dog. They're going nuts. I would not have said anything if I knew it that your dog no that's my dogs they're going i would not have said anything if i knew it was your dog daniel daniel can bark anywhere he wants to so uh uh yeah yeah so where do they fit are you and the other players that it seems like your button heads at the table actually friends when you're away from the table or where are we i think you have a combination right i'd say overall a lot more on the friendlier side like current nba but then you always are going to have real like rivalries where people like literally we call it heads up for roles right

Starting point is 00:14:36 where like i'm cocky my ego's you know being challenged your ego's being challenged like oh yeah you want to fucking go throw all your money down let's play heads up. Just me and you. Let me bust you. So there's definitely a bit of both. Bust all over you. Bust all over you, yeah. That'll show me. Yeah, I see.

Starting point is 00:14:55 Yeah, how about I suck your dick? I don't even like that. Yeah. To me, some of the most dramatic moments are the ones where, like a lot of the times, especially in the cash games that I've watched, it's very lighthearted despite, you know,

Starting point is 00:15:09 the numbers at stake and stuff like that. But when I see in particular, Phil Helmuth get, get really tilted, like I, there's a famous clip on YouTube of you getting him four times in a row, I think. And you're bluffing maybe three out of the four hands.

Starting point is 00:15:23 And he's just like, I'm too good for you, Daniel. But one of these times I'm actually going to have some, and he just throws away top pair and you've got nothing. And you're just like, yeah, eventually you're just going to get me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you just pull all of his money toward you. And it's funny, but everybody loves to hate Phil Hellmuth.

Starting point is 00:15:41 But sometimes I watch Mike Mattis out, and I'm like, does he need an intervention? Yes. Should someone be stepping in right now, and instead of being like, yeah, Mike, here's another $100,000, shouldn't they be saying, Mike, let's get you a cab?

Starting point is 00:15:58 To fill it in, for those of us who don't know who this Mike character is, is he just always losing heaps of money? Well, it's hard to tell, because'm on the outside. Obviously, I'm on the outside looking in and there's some editing involved. Like Daniel could probably answer that question better than I could. But from my point of view, it seems like he takes some rough beats and loses a lot of money that maybe he shouldn't have been gambling to begin with. Well, I mean, listen, you look at a

Starting point is 00:16:22 guy like Mike, do you think he has a job? Where do you think he has a job where do you think he gets his money he was he has been a professional poker player for a very long time um he's a lot he's not nearly as good as he thinks he is and so when he's playing against really tough competition that's probably what you're referring to he's got an old school mentality and a lot of these young guys just like whip him around and uh you know he's he's a he's a he's got like issues like lots of them right he's dive into that? Because I didn't understand it. How does old school versus young guys, what does that mean? Okay, huge difference. Old school players have a way of thinking that's totally different than the young players.

Starting point is 00:16:53 Young players today use software. They're constantly on the computer figuring out game theory. We call it GTO, game theory optimal. They're trying to figure out the best approaches, and they doing things differently based on, you know, the mathematics behind the game. Old school players are a little more fly by the seat of your pants. Like, um, and if you don't, yeah, intuitive, but like a lot of them, if you don't have respect for the younger generation, they're just going to destroy you. Right.

Starting point is 00:17:19 Like you can't be that guy who thinks like, it's almost like I would imagine in sports, like anyone from this era going back to play poker in 1995 would destroy it. Like absolutely crush it just with the evolution of anything. Like we talk about Wilt Chamberlain. We talk about these basketball players from back in the day. Like, all right, well, how would freaking Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan do in that league? Okay. They score 400 points a game back then, you know, it just, it evolves and i think a lot of old school players are slow to make the adjustment or the acknowledgement that

Starting point is 00:17:50 like what worked for you then ain't gonna work no more have you always been more in your own personal approach more analytics driven kind of doing the online like studying game theory all that no i was always like the feel old school guy but i realized like in order to stay competitive at the highest levels i'd need to learn how to use these fricking things. Like you guys were with the mic and all this setting this up. I hate this shit. It's like, I need a guy to do it for me. So I hired a guy. I turned it on for you. and another guy who's a pro who understands how to use these, you know, this computer. And because if you, if you're like new to it, you look at it and you're like, okay, what do I do? What do I do with these simulations and stuff?

Starting point is 00:18:29 So they helped me so I could update my game. But I would say, absolutely. I come from the old school kind of, we call it exploitative play. So game theory, the idea behind game theory is like, you do something that no matter what you do, you can't lose. Right. So the best way to describe it is you ever played like rock, paper, scissors. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:18:48 Right. So if you were playing game theory optimal, you'd throw one third rock, one third paper, one third scissors. Right. Okay. So that would be like, if you did that, you know, randomly, there's no way that anyone could beat you. However, there's no way you can win either.

Starting point is 00:19:02 Because no matter what the opponent throws, you know, you're going to win about 33% of the time, right? Now, what, what good poker players do is they do what's called exploitative play, which they know what the, you know, the baseline break even thing is, but they adjust to the opponent. So for example, if I was playing against one of you and I'm like, well, this guy, you know, he folds when I bet. So I'm going to bet against him more or this guy he always calls me so i'm going to you know make sure that i'm not bluffing against him

Starting point is 00:19:30 so we make adjustments based on the tendencies we find about our opponents okay and that was that lesson you just got that's like 55 000 worth of value you just got if you can actually if you can get into games with dan blazerian it might be 1.2 million I doubt that's true I don't think I can convert that into anybody I think it'll cost me 55 grand to see if you're right I like to play high stakes war ah you beat me again that is interesting though

Starting point is 00:20:01 and well phrased still happy to have you as a guest that's really interesting it's one of those things that the more you look into it like as i knew you were coming on as i was looking into you know kind of trying to learn a little bit more about poker and i i'm in my late 20s and i until probably a week ago was still on board with like the ads so pretty much all luck. Because I've never watched poker online. I didn't really know.

Starting point is 00:20:29 Well, not all luck. But I thought that a lot of the bluffing was not nearly as impactful as it really is. But something I like about you is you don't wear sunglasses or a hat. Sometimes you wear a hat, I guess. But you don't wear sunglasses. Do you look at those guys wearing, like, fucking Antifa masks and glasses and hats like, you bitch. You're just doing that because you know that I would

Starting point is 00:20:52 see you from a mile away. Yeah, I hate it. I wish it wasn't even legal to wear sunglasses. Like, frankly, when I see a guy doing that, wearing sunglasses or whatever, I get right in his face, and I intimidate him. Like, literally, I'm like, you know, you know you're scared fucking look at me i'm gonna look right in your fucking throat and i'm gonna see shit and they all feel like they're completely covered but there's subtle things

Starting point is 00:21:13 they can't cover whether it's their hands their breathing pattern their neck there's always something like when you think you're secure you know and i can't find something on you i will and uh typically it's the guys that wear the sunglasses and the hoodies that it's almost like coming to the war saying like, I'm already shitting bricks. I'm so scared. You'll look right through my soul. So I feel like I have a,

Starting point is 00:21:33 I have a psychological advantage over them in that moment. And I'll use it. Like I rarely bully at the table, but guys like that, I often will make them uncomfortable. If I can't, they might be more inclined to hide less with like a home try to sit down with a Home Alone-style mask, would they let you?

Starting point is 00:21:48 Home Alone? No, I mean, there's a rule. This is the burglar bag? Yeah. Or they'd be like, no, this is absurd. Get the fuck out of here. You're not supposed to be allowed, right? Poker tournaments are in casinos,

Starting point is 00:21:58 and there's a rule or a law, supposedly, that in a casino, you can't cover your face. What if you're a Muslim woman? Some guys try. One guy, Phil Locke, he wears ski goggles. Legit. Actual ski goggles. He covers his whole face, wears a hoodie.

Starting point is 00:22:13 What an asshole. Taylor, you need to show up in your full hockey goalie gear. You're like, what? It's my religion. I identify as a Muslim woman when I'm playing. Sorry. Bigot. yeah it's got neck protection as a muslim woman when i'm playing sorry bigot yeah let's do it yeah well that's really cool yeah i'm glad to know that you're more inclined to bully those guys because it feels like from an outsider looking in it seems like that's kind of cheating like the whole point i mean're reading people's faces. It feels that way, right?

Starting point is 00:22:45 But obviously if it's within the rules and you're allowed to, some of the shows that we do, like some televised shit that shows shit, shows that we specifically have rules where you can't wear sunglasses. There's a few like that. And I like the trend. I'd like to see more of that. So you said breathing patterns. What other little things are you looking for physiologically as the game's going,

Starting point is 00:23:06 if they have those kind of shields up? Oh, boy. I got so many. Lips, like lips pursing, lips like this, nose twitching, also posture. So I'll ask you, okay? You guys don't play poker, but I'll ask you this. If a guy bets all his money, right, and he's sitting like this, okay? Right? That's position one. Or he bets all his money right and he's sitting like this okay right that's that's position one or he bets all his money and he's sitting like this which one do you think is

Starting point is 00:23:31 the bluff probably guy sitting sitting like this right no the other one i don't know the guy peacocking the first one is the one who's bluffing but we'll see if i'm right well okay what would be your reasoning for that so the guy i think that that guy is trying to show something that he's uh doesn't really have whereas the second guy is comfortable in his skin that was the thought process so comfortable in his skin is absolutely a thing right so if a guy's like this he's not really worried he's just relaxed because he's relaxed because he's got a very good hand often what people do when they're bluffing is they tense up so if they're tense and they're stiff as a board it's like oh god i'm scared i'm scared don't look at me so you can sense like you can even see their fingers a lot of the time you know when you press your fingers on the on a table you'll see

Starting point is 00:24:13 like the whites of the nails like i'll look for that i'll look for i'll look at their hands i'll look at their neck depending what they're. Dude, you should be solving murders and shit. What the hell are you doing in poker still? Why don't people use more fake... So I play poker. I don't play poker much. When I do, it's a very low level. But I do fake tells all the time. Like, you're supposed to be infuriated playing with me.

Starting point is 00:24:38 Do my moves make no sense? Yeah. You're not supposed to like playing against me. And I might bluff and look tense or bluff and and look comfortable good luck ethically yeah good go on go on you think it doesn't work well we call those actors i love playing against actors because you can always see through their bullshit i remember i did something like that though like you know in terms of a fake tell when i was on high stakes poker there was a spot where i had 50 000 in cash

Starting point is 00:25:04 in my hands and i bet it i threw it into pot, I kissed it and threw it in the pot. And there was a really bad lighting. It was very heavy. And I have Tourette's, which most people didn't know. So I started blinking. I started blinking like uncontrollably and I was bluffing. Okay. So for it, and that was on TV. So for like a year, everyone thought, Oh, when Daniel's blinking, he's bluffing. So the next time I had like four of a kind or the nuts, I started just freaking blinking like mad. And that worked for about a year. That's great.

Starting point is 00:25:36 Until people caught on. But yeah, I do a lot of reverse tells and different things like that as well. But I wouldn't recommend it unless you really know what you're doing with it against good players because they'll see through it. Okay. What do you think the future of online poker is? Do you think we're going to see a day where we get some legalization in the United States? I hope so. I signed with GG Poker. GG Poker is not available in the United States right now, but they're trying to become available in the US, available in Canada and a lot of different places. And so I'm involved in the back end of what that looks like in terms of getting a license. And right now it appears as though we got to do it state by state. Okay. So it's not going to be

Starting point is 00:26:12 like a federal law that will pass, but we're already live. You know, there's already online poker in Nevada. You have it in Pennsylvania. And now you have it in, uh, Atlanta, you know, New Jersey. So if you can get California, New new york on board now you've got like a big piece of the pie the next step is to connect to europe because with the good old days that you probably played poker and you can play with people from all over the world a lot of what countries do now is they segregate if they so like if you play on uh you know in france you're not playing on dot com you're playing on dot fr so you can only play against the french players or in italy they do the same that's not good because you want to be able to play with a lot more people so i think it'll happen i think um i mean andrew yang who i'm posting an event for on the 13th he's uh he's been the only one to make a statement on online poker but he's like well this

Starting point is 00:26:59 is this is stupid this is like illegal So he obviously comes up with a practical, logical solution that it should be, you know, that guy's got so many plans. I don't agree with all of his plans, but I agree with his process. Like I like that. He sort of thinks it through and comes up with an idea. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:27:17 I wonder which plan you don't agree with. Like the really, really smart ones, the amazing ones, the perfect ones. What plan that he has. Could you not like like i thought his math hats i thought that was a photoshopped meme until i saw a photo of people make america think harder

Starting point is 00:27:34 right make america think harder oh i thought it was like adding and subtracting no no dude i think it's brilliant i like it i universal basic income is the one i think is ahead of its time oh my god that is such a no-brainer i will. I'll bet you whatever money you have. I'm not betting you, Daniel. Universal basic income is a no brainer that is inevitable to happen. He's just ahead of the curve. This, I guarantee you that this will happen in the United States and the rest of the world. It will have to, as you continue to see automation take over truck driving jobs and you know, you name it across the board, there's just not going to be enough jobs for people. And the UBI is going to help with a VAT tax, of course, that pays for

Starting point is 00:28:12 it. It's, it's, it's going to be inevitable. Like that's a thing that's happening. Truck driving automation will take care of itself. All those drivers are 55 and older over the next 20 years, 15 years as they retire and they get replaced. We just won't have to backfill them. Bam. Won't have to backfill them. Bam. What happens to the younger generation? That's 30 million jobs in the United States. The truck drivers who aren't driving trucks now, they'll get other jobs.

Starting point is 00:28:33 No. If you eliminate 30 million of those jobs, malls continue to close because Amazon can just send you stuff. There's no point. There's no more retail. Fast food workers can be replaced. Factory workers can be replaced. I see a lot of jobs being replaced. And then, oh, yeah, so maybe there's some more tech jobs that open up. But for who?

Starting point is 00:28:50 Tech jobs don't open up in the same ratio. That's why those jobs went away, right? And what kind of education do you need, right? And that one job replaces 10 or 12 or 15. Exactly. That's what happens, right? So I get that. Having said that, the idea that new jobs won't pop up, me is synonymous with saying that human wants are satiable, that people won't just keep desiring

Starting point is 00:29:09 more and more things. There will always be new jobs because people with standard of living will just keep increasing. And as things get automated, people will have more stuff and there'll be more jobs. The issue that you're facing is the type of jobs that will be available. These new jobs, they will be available to people of means that can go to college, go to university and like study and, you know, get a background in tech or whatever like that. But your average Joe who doesn't have the luxury of, you know, paying for college or anything like that, you know, the working man, if you will, of average or below average intelligence, the jobs available for them are going to continue to dissipate. And that's dangerous. And that's

Starting point is 00:29:43 a problem, I think. I think that it is definitely an inevitability but i think that yang is ahead of his time with with it i don't think we're ready for it now and i don't think it's necessary yet but i do i do agree like i always say like the star trek model is coming that that age where um there's no scare zero scarcity time period for humanity is eventually coming but we're not there yet does he say close i don't i'm not familiar with this ubi plan that much but it's only going to like net taxpayers right no everybody everyone if you're 18 or above you'll get one thousand dollars a month period right the way that they pay for that the major way you pay for that is with a vat tax value-added tax and the thing that people were calling that regressive

Starting point is 00:30:28 it isn't regressive because all necessities toothpaste toothbrushes you know all those things that people will need that's exempt from that if you buy a yacht and you pay one million dollars for a yacht you pay 1.1 that goes into the system you know and spreads the wealth a little bit it's uh essentially also replacing all the government wasted programs like food stamps i don't think you need food stamps anymore if you just give people money themselves and allow them the opportunity to choose for themselves how do i want to spend this money right like you spend all this money on these programs right which i don't want i don't use just give me the money and i'll figure it out myself

Starting point is 00:31:03 yeah for people who don't know like maybe americans a vat tax is very similar to a sales tax it's not based on what you earn it's based on what you buy and he just wants everything to be i'll call it 10 more expensive except for the most necessary things us new jersey guys are used to that in our sales tax toilet paper clothing that's not taxed restaurants uh i don't know fun stuff that's taxed that's how the vat tax would work and then they'll take they'll take all that money and then they'll just give it to everybody a thousand dollars a month to everybody over 18 and um uh it's kind of neat they're like even to millionaires he's like everybody and i like that in a government service as a general philosophy uh buddha judge who's kind of my guy uh is like some of his plans don't apply to wealthy people and it's like fuck off

Starting point is 00:31:52 right and i say that because like what if i said you like hey you know a couple people on this call you've got police a couple of people you buy your own police because you know you can afford it a couple people here you buy your own fire department oh public library that's not for you you can bite me no no no like that's not how government services are supposed to work everybody don't put income checks on everything so that the people who pay the most tax get the least services that's also it also lowers the cost of them of implementation things like that right it's it's like now we don't need a whole group of people like the irs to be like doing the fucking algebra to figure out if you qualify for a fire department and a police department or if we can we do a bundle can i get like the whole bundle where i get fire rescue ems

Starting point is 00:32:38 police no i don't want can we go a la carte on this i don't need police no like that's just waste so giving it to everyone is probably honestly even cheaper. Possibly. Yeah. And it's also moral to me. I don't know enough to speak that. Yeah. No one can.

Starting point is 00:32:52 That's what I said. Yeah. So I don't mean to be self-serving on it. But yeah, I feel like there's a morality problem when you just start exempting people from government services because they should be punished. No, we should fucking eat the rich. Bernie Sanders did say, he said,

Starting point is 00:33:09 billionaires should not exist. And I was wondering whether that meant line them up and shoot them all, eat them as you said, or just take all their money, put them in prison. I don't know. They look like a tender bunch. Bernie's plan to redistribute good pussy. For everyone. Who did say something like that?

Starting point is 00:33:29 That's Bill Clinton for sure. No, no. Somebody. Jordan Peterson. Jordan Peterson said that. His incel solution could be interpreted as women should just give up that pussy more often. That's hilarious. Jordan Peterson, you said? Well, i think he corrected his phrasing yeah when you could just take prescription pills but yeah jordan peterson felt like this there's like this whole subsection of guys who aren't

Starting point is 00:34:00 getting laid and who have all sorts of destruction destructive negative behavior who would just be better off if women would fuck them a little more. Think about how much better the school shooting situation would get if girls would take one for the team now and then, right? I mean... Yeah, that would be something if we were paying into...

Starting point is 00:34:18 Imagine that would go over real well with the Christian right, like the idea of paying taxes into prostitutes for the incels, like government-mand like you know you put that on the ballot how do i vote for it i would can you imagine how upset like women would be at the prospect of that where it's like what they don't like new jobs yeah why are women against jobs in your world taylor and why is it only women male gigolos bro that's a thing too oh they're not going to be nearly as popular they're pretty popular out here in vegas i don't

Starting point is 00:34:56 know if you ever saw the show gigolos showtime but they're you know there's male prostitutes that's a thing now because a lot of women too they don't want the strings they're like well i can get a stud who's ripped who knows what he's doing and it's wham bam thank you ma'am uh yeah it sounds like a good job and then i bet you have to just listen to their shit all night is a lot like like you're you're fucking ugly bitches all day well you guys have never seen the show i guess like you you you't have show time. No one does. You fuck some big bitches. You fuck some older

Starting point is 00:35:30 bitches. You name it. They run the spectrum. Hot 19-year-old bitches? No. I don't think you fuck them. They're swimming in dick. Right? Like the gif with the hot dogs that hit the girl in the face.

Starting point is 00:35:51 Man, I'm just going to have fun brainstorming more universal basic income ideas. We've got $1,000 a month. We got pussy. That's what it's for. Everybody should get a little bit of weed sent to him every month and really chill everybody out i think you know it might i'll vote for that as well it would help the junk food industry it would you know you know what no you're right that we're already too fat we don't need you know you think weed smokers weed smokers would be fat but i think

Starting point is 00:36:22 they're not i think like i saw a study that came out recently. Who knows? It could be contradicted. But as much as you'd think weed smokers would get fat on munchies, they were thinner on average. Really? Yeah. Now I'm thinking in my own head. That's surprising.

Starting point is 00:36:36 I wonder if they accounted for age because I'd argue they're younger on average and younger people are thinner on average too. I think that's probably the correlation, right? Yeah. So you spend a lot of time in Vegas, I suppose. Are you ever adjacent to other vices? If you can call poker a vice, I personally don't think it should be called a vice. But we talked a little bit about the prostitution.

Starting point is 00:36:57 Do you see that a lot out there? Do you see a lot of working girls and guys? And is that, I mean, I know it's legal outside the city limits there. Well, I mean, the way that it works now, obviously Pahrump people can drive 60 or 70 miles to like this place where it's legal in these, in these houses. But now what you have is like on the street, on the strip, you have these little Mexican guys and they've got these little tickets to give you like, Hey, go tonight, go, you know, and they like, they give you these tickets with these numbers on them. And it's similar, I i guess to what you would find in pretty much any city where you know it's all

Starting point is 00:37:27 you know they're considered uh escorts you know for the evening or whatever the case may be um and that's legal as long as there's no agreement of sex i don't know how the hell they do but it's not legal in las vegas to be a prostitute it is in um in the outskirts but not right like right here in las vegas is it easy to spot a prostitute in las vegas like if you're sitting there by the slot machines and you see a short dress is it like would you i remember the first time i had a friend come out from toronto and it was like he's out really late and he's like man these women are really nice to me out here i was like yeah they are they locate like you know you can just tell i guess for girls

Starting point is 00:38:15 if a hot girl in a short skirt is hanging out at a bar you know at a casino just by herself having a drink um that increases the likelihood that she's not just waiting on a friend that she's there well she's waiting on a friend she's waiting on a friend with deep pockets man what a being a prostitute has to suck right well that's part of the job but oh there you go you got me there doesn't't seem like a fun gig. Because the idea of it is way different. Because it's going to be some frumpy fat guy most of the time, right? I don't think so. Kyle, you have way more experience with this than...

Starting point is 00:38:54 Yeah. If I'm hypothetically a prostitute... I'll bail you out, Kyle. If I'm hypothetically a prostitute, I think it's not about how fat the guy is, although too much is too much. I'm a hygiene snob in there, right? If you've got a rolly belly and some man boobs, but you smell like deodorant and fresh spring, whatever that smells like, then – You hit that. Yeah, let's go.

Starting point is 00:39:21 Let's party. I just think about like a Harvey Weinstein style body on a lot of these guys. Did you see how funny that was? Where they're like, some woman testified. She's like, yeah, the dude's nutsack looks like fucking pussy lips and his dick sucks. And I just, there's a picture of him sitting down and he's just, oh. They asked what he smelled like. She said he had to inject it, right?

Starting point is 00:39:43 With a needle to get it to work. Yeah, he said, she said, and he smelled like shit i'm sorry poop yeah fuck that guy dude yeah fuck that guy but hypothetical harvey weinstein who just like fresh out of the shower and smells like baby powder uh if i'm a prostitute i feel like i didn't get too unlucky there. You know, he did often ask those celebrities to join him in the shower. I think we know why now. It's the smell. At least if you fuck Harvey Weinstein, you might get to be in the Hunger Games or something. Work for J-Lo.

Starting point is 00:40:16 Who here wouldn't fuck Harvey Weinstein to get into the Hunger Games? I would have. I still would. I still remember watching that movie. You'd be tricked, kyle because they're not making it anymore let's go they're like i suck my ticket you can get hunger games five can i be that guy who like who used his cake frosting abilities to camouflage himself i was just about solid plot point i remember it was right when that movie came out i was in college and i was over at a buddy's place and you know five six seven of us were there and we were just hanging out drinking and he's like dude i just saw this movie it's so fucking cool

Starting point is 00:40:55 it's called the hunger games and we're like all right fine put it on who cares and it got to that cake scene and he did that thing like you know when you show somebody a youtube video and they're not vibing with it like three minutes in and you got to try and save yourself he was like honestly guys this is way worse than i remember i'm so sorry it's like evan you're fine but yeah you're right this sucks that guy had enough time to cake himself up but he couldn't find food he's got enough confectionery for the whole he was supposed to be super strong and that i could get into because uh apparently his baking is the same skills like a farmer might develop the

Starting point is 00:41:37 strength he had 50 pound bags of flour that he was routinely picking up and tossing places and and unloading and unloading so he was just stronger than the other people. I think I've read the book maybe. they emphasized that his strength was like a really big thing. Remember there was a, they were doing like a show in front of the people before the Hunger Games

Starting point is 00:41:59 started. They're trying to get sponsors. Thank you, thank you. They're trying to get sponsors. And he used his outrageous strength to get sponsored and to get sponsors thank you thank you they're trying to get sponsors and he used his outrageous strength to you know to get sponsored and forget to get people's attention so dumb i don't remember a single thing other than all the rich people dressed ridiculously and the cake scene that's it i remember a flaming dress by a river uh you think harvey weinstein did something awful to her i mean it seems like he did a lot of awful things to a lot of awful people so you know maybe a coin flip i don't know awful people was she one of the people or did awful things to a lot of people i know okay okay i was

Starting point is 00:42:38 like what they do aside from just try to get ahead in their careers taylor yeah they're just they're just trying to be in the hunger i was watching was watching a show on Netflix the other day. I think it's The Mist. It's a Stephen King adaptation. It's a TV show. I've seen that. It's not very good. And I noticed that Weinstein was in the credits

Starting point is 00:42:55 as like a producer. And I started thinking, because then I saw that like the showrunner was a girl, a woman. And I was like putting one and one together. I was like, let me do a little Googling woman. And I was like, putting one and one together. I was like, let me do a little Googling here. And sure enough, sure enough, he had gone after and she's suing him. Really? There was not a woman in this guy's orbit that he didn't fucking throw himself at

Starting point is 00:43:17 continuously in a very creepy fucking illegal kind of way. Anytime he saw a woman that he had even the tiniest bit of influence over he was like you want to suck my dick because i could help you out help your career you want to suck it suck it suck it like what he is one of the most prolific sexual predators ever him and bill cosby it was it was such a public secret what a predator he was and uh mount laurel met laura help me with his name matt laura laura thank you um he apparently i don't know if you call him a predator as much as you would a dog right you know he apparently was a dog who just fucked everyone he could

Starting point is 00:43:54 and uh nothing wrong with that that was also like a public secret well his wife wasn't a fan being able to lock your door i don't know her desk. I know Matt Lauer. I don't know what's her name, Lauer. We don't know that Mrs. Lauer wasn't polyamorous herself. That's a thing now. Burning Man, that's what all the people are doing, banging everybody. Crystal meth.

Starting point is 00:44:17 Is that part of it? We're not talking about me. That guy fucking sucks. You're right kyle it seems like every single woman who's even vaguely associated with him he yeah forced to blow you know he was involved with the lord of the rings you think he did anything to live tyler oh no i like to think that she was on that she was connected enough to avoid that she's steven tyler's daughter right special rules maybe she she only got that role because of steven tyler because she is usually the worst the worst actor in that movie as arwen she's not very good not at all really not a fan yeah i didn't

Starting point is 00:45:00 think she was very good well i'll say her performance was good enough that it didn't think she was very good. Well, I'll say her performance was good enough that it didn't stand out to me, like it seems to have for you. Yeah. Man, I need to re-watch those movies again for the thousandth time. It's probably been weeks. Just wait. The 4K Ultra HD is coming out this year, so just wait on that.

Starting point is 00:45:16 Really? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. All six movies, big box set. It'll be the last one before 5K or 8K, so you've got a good five, six years before they make a better version. Why am I confused when you say all six? I haven't even seen episodes four, five, and six.

Starting point is 00:45:29 Because there's the Hobbit movies. Oh, fuck those. Those suck. Oh, you're right. I have no influence over the Hobbit. I'm just saying. All six movies are coming out in Ultra HD. Damn it, Kyle. I didn't produce them. Jesus Christ. I'm not the one who cut Peter Jackson's time and budget.

Starting point is 00:45:45 Give me a break here. Dude, the Lord of the Rings in Ultra HD, like 4K, not The Hobbit, like the original Lord of the Rings, that's probably going to be sick because it's not CGI that's going to fall apart. It's all like real armored guys. Yeah. I mean, I think as much as I despise The Hobbit, I'm sure it'll look good too.

Starting point is 00:46:01 They shot it in 5K. What about Lord of the Rings? Was it shot in 4K or 1080p? I believe they shot it in 35mm super. Could be wrong about that one though. I was just reading about this like two weeks ago.

Starting point is 00:46:19 But in any case, looking forward to all those. And Harvey Weinstein was one of the most disgusting people in Hollywood. But you know he wasn't alone. He was the most outlandish, the one who got himself caught. I guarantee, whenever you give somebody a position of power that they can use to manipulate people into getting what they want, they do it. It's human nature. We all were like, oh, I'd never do that.

Starting point is 00:46:43 But if you were running some giant company that was literally, all right, which gorgeous woman are we going to get paid millions of dollars? You get to decide, Taylor. Hmm, really? I get to pick whichever gorgeous woman I want? I'm going to pick the one that blows me. Is what he did, yeah. Is what he did. Not what I would do.

Starting point is 00:47:00 I would go by pure talent. Pure talent. Pure talent. I would say no thank you, sir. Ma'am. Ma'am. Whoever. I was getting to blow me.

Starting point is 00:47:09 You know, another fair way to do it would be for them both to blow you. And then it would be even. A contest. Ah. No, that's pretty awful. Don't judge me. Maybe a game show. Damn.

Starting point is 00:47:28 I had forgotten that he was associated with Lord of the Rings. Maybe he's not all bad. Like, look, as much of a monster as he is, it's, it's kind of like he did a lot. He made a lot of great properties.

Starting point is 00:47:39 Like, like he's the, he's part of that famous story where Matt Damon and who's, who's the guy from Good Will Hunting. Matt Damon and Ben Affleck had written the script for Good Will Hunting and they're shopping it around to every major like studio. And they had included a part in there where the therapist character blows Matt Damon's character just out of nowhere,

Starting point is 00:48:03 blow job out of nowhere. Good Will Hunting? Good Will Hunting. Robin Williams went down on Matt Damon's character. Just out of nowhere, blowjob. Out of nowhere. This is Good Will Hunting? Good Will Hunting. Where Robin Williams went down on Matt Damon, spoke to him in the script. Yeah, it's right there in the script. Robin Williams blows Matt Damon. And they're going from studio to studio to studio,

Starting point is 00:48:14 and finally they get to Weinstein, right? And he's like, boys, I love what you've written here. We want to be in business with you. I've just got one problem here. There's this scene where the therapist just blows your character matt and he's like we just put that scene in there to see which studio executives actually read our fucking script and you were the first one even brought it up we've been to every other studio in town everybody is just like shaking

Starting point is 00:48:44 our hands and want to write us a check you're the only one who actually reads the fucking script that would have been great if there was like Matt, Ben I was on the fence until I got to the blowjob scene I love it I went the other way because Matt Damon and Ben Affleck wrote that right

Starting point is 00:48:59 yeah I just you know guys there's gotta be a scene in here where robin williams sucks my dick it's kind of the whole reason i got into hollywood yeah but i i heard weinstein tell that story on uh on howard stern and i've also heard matt damon tell that story in the past before and this is before any of the sexual allegations came out and i was just like man this this Weinstein guy's a good guy. I love this guy a lot.

Starting point is 00:49:27 Because I love movies and I love good movies. And most of the properties he's been attached to are really strong, really well done. It seems like he's a great picker of scripts and properties to invest in and make. And he often has a pretty good influence over them. But he's also like one of the most prolific sexual predators in the history of hollywood it would seem like like just a real disc do you think it's worse that he's so unattractive like like if he was yes yes it's worse right like like we would he wouldn't be nearly as if it was robert redford he wouldn't be a predator he would just be a womanizer or a

Starting point is 00:50:00 player yes yes if they were like yeah robert redford loved the ladies i'm gonna tell you that would be the whole story. And they'd be like, yep. And the ladies loved him. But because it's Weinstein, it's like, yeah, Jabba the Hutt over there is making all the A-list actresses blow him. It's really gross. Also, his pee smells putrid. Speaking of pee, I got to make one. Can I just run to the bathroom? You guys do your thing? Yeah. I'll be right back. Go for it, man. Well, he's good. Kyle, did you know the Van Halen no brown M&M thing? Have we talked about that on the show before?

Starting point is 00:50:30 Yes. Yeah, that's another example of kind of what I was describing with Weinstein. They would ask for these very – and a lot of celebrities have done that. They ask for these very specific things to be prepared for them when they show up at a venue to do a concert. And it's not that they want a big bowl of brown M&Ms. They don't give a fuck. They want to make sure you read their list and by if they see the brown m&ms they also know that their limo is going to show up at 8 15 like they want it to and that the water is going to be the water they want in the case of van halen so it's a bowl of m&ms no browns right

Starting point is 00:51:01 and they have a elaborate light show with all kinds of like electrical and fire hazard requirements and they're like if there's no m&m if there's m&ms and all the browns are in there they probably just skim through we don't know that the light show is going to work we have to check the pyrotechnics we have to you know that it's whether or not they went through the list yeah i remember like learning about that like many many years ago and being all smug like look at these prissy assholes and then one of my friends explained it exactly like you guys just did and i was like yeah well it was still oh you just you just proved me wrong you made a fool of me oh okay well we're not friends now yeah yeah that's that makes sense i don't want to

Starting point is 00:51:49 burn alive what's your next big uh poker event daniel what's what's on the horizon well there's a u.s poker open that'll air on poker go which is a subscription based uh thing there and there's a lapc but i'm gearing up for the world series of poker that's my favorite time of year happens in june july that's where i do vlogs on youtube uh daily for like six straight weeks of uh the grind so i've been taking a time off i haven't really played much last poker i played was early december so a little bit of a off season if you will how big of a deal would it be or for you to win the main event like money aside, is that the ultimate feather in your cap, especially to beat that field that's out there now? Yeah, no.

Starting point is 00:52:30 It's one of those things where when I started in poker, I was like, I'm going to win this thing for sure at some point because there was 300, 400 players back then. Now there's 8,000, okay? And there's a lot of landmines. So I came 11th in 2015, which was a good accomplishment. But it's just the most fun event every year. Like you get a whole bunch of hometown heroes, all target that one, put up 10K.

Starting point is 00:52:51 And first prize is usually in the neighborhood of like $10 million, pays the bills. A lot of celebrities too. I think that's always when I see Ray Romano out there or what's his name who played George on Seinfeld. Oh, Jason Alexander plays. Jason Alexander plays, yeah. He's a good player. I've watched him play a good bit. He's fairly strong.

Starting point is 00:53:10 Since they ever lose, they'd be like, George is getting upset. I imagine everyone who plays in the World Series of Poker is at least a good player, right? They're not going to be good. No, absolutely not. Not good, though? No.

Starting point is 00:53:24 You mentioned hometown hero, and in my head I translated that to be no absolutely not good though like no you mentioned hometown hero and in my head i translated that to be a little bit like pejorative you know like they're good small big fish in a small pond but i'm telling you we have some like in that one event specifically it brings out everybody and i'm not talking good i'm not talking average i'm not talking bad i'm talking about horrible like absolutely terrible like i could teach someone in 15 minutes to play better than them easily. Like it's amazing what that event brings. It's just like people see it on TV. They want to be a part of it, and they don't have a clue what they're doing,

Starting point is 00:53:53 but they go for it. Is the strategy with those guys for you? Can you just buy your way in basically? Everybody buys their way in. Well, everybody pays 10K, right? There's no like, oh, like get you know today too and for paying extra or something like that it's an even playing field yeah anyone who wants to play in that event can play in that event you just need ten thousand dollars i didn't realize that i figured that must

Starting point is 00:54:14 be like some kind of qualifier like oh you got to win a regional tournament first what's the world what's the strategy for that do you try to fleece the weakest people so that you go into the second day and third with more money than you would have otherwise? How do you do it? Definitely, yeah. Part of the thing about poker tournaments is table draw is sort of random. So sometimes you might be at a table and you're like, what the hell? How'd this happen? These are all pros at my table. But most of the time in the main event, you got a bunch of non-pros. So when you do have that opportunity, I push the envelope. I really press, try to get as many chips as I can so that later in the main event you got a bunch of non-pros so when you do have that opportunity i push the envelope i really press try to get as many chips as i can so that later in the event when i am playing against a lot more pros i just have more ammo and more chips so the strategy is like push

Starting point is 00:54:54 the envelope try to get in as many hands against the weaker players and then you know build up a stack so that i hopefully can take me all the way oh okay if there's a bunch of like let's say you just get a rough table and there's a bunch of pros on day one are you guys just out half that table doesn't go on like that no no you play you play all day the main event it takes like 10 days of play so you play like 10 hours a day every day so even if it was all pros like it's fine you just be a little more careful keep your guard up and everyone can get through. Like, as long as you just don't lose all your chips on the first day, uh, you just don't have as many opportunities to build.

Starting point is 00:55:30 So let's say you start with 50 K and chips. When I'm playing a bunch of amateurs at table, I'd like to build that to 300,000 by the end of the day. If I'm playing against pros, maybe I'm happy to just get out of the day with my 50 and you know, not lose any. So you just have to, you know, adjust your expectation based on the table you're at okay i noticed uh i was reading up on you and whatnot i know you're a hockey fan and you're apparently really good buddies with phil kessel yes that's awesome dude i love sick is he good at poker or not he thinks he is he thinks he is every time i do a hockey podcast

Starting point is 00:56:06 they ask me about that and like phil would love to be a professional player i remember like he wanted to get traded the vegas gold knights i'm like bro they're not gonna you're not that's not happening uh no he's in arizona now no no yeah um but he's like can't you do something i'm like no i can't i'm not the gm but uh he to play poker. He's always the world series when he got traded from Pittsburgh or from Toronto to Pittsburgh. He was in Vegas. I was with him, you know, then it was like, he's like, well, there's worse places for me to go.

Starting point is 00:56:33 So he's definitely at the world series every year. I put him in my vlogs cause he hates being on camera. So there's always like a segment where I just kind of bring the camera and he's like trying to hide and stuff. Cause he's not that guy, but he's great. I love Phil. I think he's like trying to hide and stuff because he's not that guy but he's great i love phil i think he's misunderstood in the leagues by is he is he it's like i need to pull up a photo of him to show kyle you know and what i'm sure knows what he looks like but he is so fucking good at hockey and he has the build and look of a public bus driver yeah i told him he it's absurd like and he's so fucking good like back in the

Starting point is 00:57:09 day i told him like we could do something about your hair like i didn't have no hair right i said there's there's procedures now you can move your hair from here to here but he just kind of has a mop on top and yeah he's disheveled if you will have you done that did you did you get a hair transplant yep it's very simple it's very common procedure. Now there's two, two different types. One is called an FUE. One is an FUT and FUE, which was what I got or FUT. They make, they cut the back of your head. Yeah. Like they literally cut it open. Yeah. He did it. Yeah. So they cut it open and then they take the, uh, the follicles and then they sort of plant them on top in the rest of your hair and they fill it in and FUE, they don't cut cut they just take little ones from the back and they do like a laser sort of

Starting point is 00:57:49 thing and then plant them on top but it works i mean it's kyle you have to open that link of him and see oh i showed a bunch of people if he's 202 pounds i'm seven feet tall well which you know what are you gonna have him get my friend because that's so abominable here's the thing that people don't know about kessel he's actually a a freak an athletic freak in the gym he can squat more than most people his legs and his ass is where all of his weight is he's actually really really fast um part of his pudgy look has to do with some you know a disease he had when he was you know young because he had testicular cancer and all that kind of stuff so it can make your face look pudgier. So he's not fat.

Starting point is 00:58:31 He might not look like a lean basketball player, but he's not out of shape, to say the least. Well, no, yeah, you can't be out of shape playing the NHL, especially a first-line player like him. But it is just funny to look at his page and be like, this guy has almost 400 goals in the nhl and he just looks like a goober he really like like i'm looking at him right now he looks like uh he looks like a high school like weightlifting coach or something like that who's who's 45 like he can shoot the puck so fucking fast this is not a good look his release is unreal he's actually inadvertently

Starting point is 00:59:04 funny too like you've never seen there was an interview he did with pierre mcguire after a game once you know just the post game thing and pierre says you know how's your breath which like is you know how you know you're feeling like yeah he said he goes he goes he says how's your breath he goes it's bad eh he's like oh it's bad eh he had bad breath he's like so oblivious sometimes it's just a funny guy i saw that picture you just linked to woody i'm sure you already showed it to people that that went really big on the hockey forum on reddit a while back to the point that it got to our all and all the people who don't follow hockey were like damn i thought that the

Starting point is 00:59:41 guy on the left was taking a picture with a professional on the right. The guy on the right really does look like maybe he's a baseball player. Maybe he plays soccer. The guy on the left looks like the janitor at the stadium. Two-time Stanley Cup champion, Phil Kessel. Oh, my God. This is the most... All right.

Starting point is 01:00:03 I'm not going to pick on him anymore. By all accounts, he's a real nice guy, but good God. He does not give a fuck if we pick on him. He's wildly successful. You say that. Everybody cares. I guarantee he will not see this podcast. Oh, now he's picking on us.

Starting point is 01:00:22 No. That's awesome. How long have you guys known each other oh i met him when he was playing for the toronto maple leafs way back we just played in like a little under game underground game with tyler bozak and a few of the other guys and uh man i know we hit it off and you know he started playing a lot more poker champion tyler bozak fucking there you go yeah he's a great dude really Really, really good dude. You know, and I just met him back then, and, you know, we stayed friends throughout. Now he's in Arizona and not having as good of a run.

Starting point is 01:00:53 Like, the team's doing okay, but he's having a struggling... He's struggling hard this year. He doesn't have Crosby and Malcolm to pass him the puck anymore, so it makes it a little tougher to score goals. Well, I mean, there's pretty much nowhere to go but down as far as the center quality when you leave Pittsburgh. Like, other than, I guess, Edmonton with Dreisaitl and McDavid. Is Toronto your bread and butter, your main team that you follow? I grew up in Toronto the first 20 years of my life,

Starting point is 01:01:16 and I moved to Vegas. I helped bring the Vegas Golden Knights to Vegas. I was part of the founding group to do that. That's awesome. I've been a diehard Vegas Golden Knights fan, although they tested my allegiance with this random firing of Gerard Gallant. That made no fucking sense. It was an absolute slap in the face to the people of Las Vegas.

Starting point is 01:01:33 It's like they fired our dad for no reason other than we had a feeling. It was really just uncalled for, outrageous. And to hire, like you hire the one guy who he called a clown in the playoffs the year before and had like a beef with it was just really weird what they did and i'm like i don't know i'm still rooting for the team but you kind of like root i love i love the coach right so it's kind of like okay you're rooting for them to win but at the same time if they win they're you know people are going to say well you see it's because of the coach when they were going to be just fine

Starting point is 01:02:02 well you know regardless of the coaching change So a little bit of a frustrating spot, but I go to all the games, so I'm going to go tomorrow night, and I watch them all. Not going to lie, the first year that they came in, I'm a Blues fan, live in St. Louis,

Starting point is 01:02:16 and when I was all about the Golden Knights, I was like, that's so cool. Vegas has their first professional team, and then they made it to the Stanley Cup. Oh, isn't it adorable? They're doing well. well these guys fucking win a stanley cup before we do that is bullshit that's not fair you know it's so funny that you say that because like before the team came up was on the ice everybody was saying this might be the historically bad team like the worst team of all time and all those same people like three quarters of the way in the season,

Starting point is 01:02:45 when we're doing good switch, they're tuned to the rules were not fair. The expansion rules, they gave them a championship team. I mean, like they call themselves the golden misfits. And there's something to be said about 23 guys, all feeling like their last team just gave him the finger.

Starting point is 01:02:59 So we don't want you to them playing for each other under the right coach who they liked, you know, and they, they, they, they played hard for him and it was like an awesome situation. Obviously we would have liked to win,

Starting point is 01:03:10 but you know, I think maybe it's better for the future of the franchise that they lost. Cause now there's like, if you win in your first year, I mean, Jesus, like what are your expectations now for every season? Just like win the cup every year.

Starting point is 01:03:23 Kind of nuts. One of the things uh was neat about them is they're like pre-game shows or like the playoffs next level next level you know everyone else is like i don't know a bullshit light show and maybe uh the guy who goes woohoo you know rick flair and then these guys are putting on like vegas shows prior to the game playing i was like yeah step it up i like this yeah bill foley who's the owner of the team like for the last few videos like the intro videos like he's in them and it's getting kind of awkward right he's like because he's like a military guy went to west point he loves that stuff so it's like him in a chopper

Starting point is 01:04:03 saying you know like sr7 sr7 pick up the package pick i'm like what the fuck dude this is weird you know like what is happening right now so uh i don't know if they're going to continue to have him in all the intros because just it's getting a little weird now yeah my biggest gripe with them is that they didn't just go with vegas knights that they added added? That was a copyright issue. Oh, really? So first and foremost, he wanted to call them the Black Knights

Starting point is 01:04:28 because that's like West Point's name. Apparently the word black, it's, you know, we're in woke, woke environment. The word black, you can't even use describing the Knights.

Starting point is 01:04:38 So they scrapped that and they weren't allowed to use Knights itself because London Knights in the OHL had a copyright on that. The OHL got to pull rank on the OHL had a copyright on that. The OHL got to pull rank on the NHL?

Starting point is 01:04:47 Are you fucking kidding me? There were some issues there, so they went with Golden. They just got an AHL team. They just bought one that they're going to bring here to Las Vegas, and they're going to call them the Silver Knights. Oh, I like that. Yeah. You do? I don't know.

Starting point is 01:05:00 It doesn't seem all that innovative to me. I think they should have went with Wranglers. It's historic. A minor league team is the Silver, and if you make it to the pro... They are both pros, but if you make it to the top league, it's gold. We used to have the Las Vegas Wranglers. That was a pro team here in the ECHL

Starting point is 01:05:16 for years. I think a lot of people would have preferred they just do a throwback to that and bring the Wranglers back. If I'm Las Vegas University, we're the Bronze Knights. We're just going to keep stepping it down. The Wooden Knights will play high school hockey.

Starting point is 01:05:32 It's the hard season for the Cadmium Knights. It brings up a thing. You know like in minor hockey, when you have Midget, Peewee, Bantam, there's like a push now to get rid of those names. The little people? Because they're offensive. Calling something Peewee, Hoppy, or Midget Hockey. So there's actually like a push now to get rid of those names the little people because they're offensive yeah right like calling something peewee hoppy or midget hockey so there's actually like a movement towards just calling it under 17 under 18 under 500 they'll never get auto racing to get rid of

Starting point is 01:05:55 the midget series though that won't happen those are some good old boys they're not what else do you call them little failures how's bantam offensive what does that even mean i don't know i don't know i think it's mostly the midget peewee midget yeah yeah that is funny definitely isn't offensive yeah peewee and bantam and midget like midget is the one i see come on midget is the one i see for sure i can understand but like not a lot of midgets playing hockey not a lot not seeing it so are there any sports where being a little person, a person of small stature, if you will,

Starting point is 01:06:30 a vertically challenged human being, would be a benefit? Yes. Jockey. I've got one. Jockey. Horse jockey. Yes.

Starting point is 01:06:38 Horse jockey is a good one, although I can't think of any little people, actual jockeys. They're all under 100 pounds. If they weigh 105, they get kicked out. They're really little guys, but they're all under 100 pounds like they weigh 105 they get kicked out they're really little guys but they're not like you're not dwarves or anything no they're right there's a quote from sopranos to let midget not to be shy with the whip oh yes i have it are you familiar with the life carrying world championship fuck no dude are you kidding me?

Starting point is 01:07:05 No, I'm not kidding you. It is amazing. I'm going to get you a little link incoming. We can watch. If your wife's a quadriplegic, it doesn't count. There should be some. Oh, my God. Look at how he's carrying her.

Starting point is 01:07:19 Dude, the running style is my favorite part. She's just eating ass in that thumbnail. is my favorite part. She's just eating ass in that thumbnail. And of course, it's some enormous muscular European guy. Oh, wow. They're jumping into water pools. This is wildly hot. I'm skipping ahead so people can see

Starting point is 01:07:36 what it's up. But the women, I guess how would you describe that position? Some sort of reverse oral sex? I don't know. That's a 96. Thank you, Kyle. That's a perfect's a perfect description you beat me there they're 96ing um what do you win there's some little ladies though like it definitely is like i mean they look like 85 90 pound women yes with full-sized men the guy i'm looking right now is actually fat oh now there's some fit guys but these are like icelandic power lifters who married this killer neil's wife

Starting point is 01:08:18 yeah yeah they do look very white. Very white. Wow, the girls are hot, though, at the end. Oh, yes. Of course they're hot. It's Scandinavia. Well, okay, Taylor, touche. There's a good point. But also, if you're going to be in the wife-carrying championship,

Starting point is 01:08:39 there's no tubbies getting to the worlds, right? But by the time they would be the best, though, if like, and a returning champion, Thor Bjornsson with his wife, Peg. He gets down low. This 240-pound woman. He just heaves her to the finish line and then runs. Right, but he's the mountain and could win with any life. Like the hammer throw where you get him back into it. Coming up on the wife throw event.

Starting point is 01:09:05 That would be a really... Can you imagine leading up to it, there's some Finnish guy like, you know, it's only two weeks until the competition and I notice you're having dessert. How am I going to win my Outback Steakhouse coupon if those Bloomin' Onions don't pay for themselves? As you well know, I make $16,000 a year because I spend all my time preparing to carry your fat ass. I love those ridiculous things that ESPN has decided are sports.

Starting point is 01:09:51 Like the lumberjack challenge. That's actually pretty cool. What about the one where dogs jump over a pool? I don't know. I probably got rid of TV. They have this one competition.

Starting point is 01:10:07 It's like a long jump for dogs. And the guy runs and then throws the toy at such an arc that the dog... They leap incredible distances. Don't get me wrong. It's fun to watch for five minutes. But then you're like, this is episode one of eight. They're an hour long a piece. I'm going to get burnt out on dogs jumping into water

Starting point is 01:10:25 well now yeah i'm going back to the lumberjack competition that's my sport for little people being an advantage i really feel like if you got a thin little person wife you could win or or a woman who'd had all of her limbs um cut off well she's got to hang on. She needs her arms and legs. Velcro. She needs just Velcro. Yeah, yeah. Velcro. You know they do that. It's called midget tossing, so I'm just going to call it that. We've watched the midget tossing championships before, and a lot of times

Starting point is 01:10:56 they do that thing. You probably got this as a Christmas gift when you were a kid. You've got this little pad that straps to your hand. It's Velcro on one side, and then you throw the tennis ball at it, which is already Velcro-y. It's fun. They do that with midgets. They've got a big target area of Velcro,

Starting point is 01:11:11 and they put the little guy in a Velcro suit, and then they sling him at the fucking wall. I thought it was kind of cool. How does this work? How do you win? Is there a bullseye on the wall, and they just measure where the... They're going for distance. They're going for speed. I don't think you need

Starting point is 01:11:26 Velcro for that. You can just throw them. Well, it's more for a laugh the Velcro. They don't stick. See, it seems like it would be mean-spirited, but if you watch those videos, everybody's having a blast. Those little guys love it. Yeah. It's like, come on. Let people have fun.

Starting point is 01:11:41 That's what you want to do. Seems like it'd be really easy to throw your back out in a midget tossing event. You got to have good form. For who? Good form. For the guy picking up an adult human. You think your back hurts? That's drywall.

Starting point is 01:11:56 I thought the little person was more at risk of injury. And I don't think their bones are good. Like birds, right? Very poor. I could be wrong, but I think little people have bone issues. I'm going to look it up. They do. Yeah, they have like...

Starting point is 01:12:10 Some women. ...extension problems associated with it. Yeah, women get like osteoporosis and shit. Yeah, yeah. There are women tossing events probably. Well, there are, but they're not televised anymore. Saudi Arabia's national sport. Yeah, I can't think of anything else that would be helpful why are they throwing her off a building

Starting point is 01:12:30 she is gay she just liked a fitness post on Instagram witchcraft being a police officer in a country where you can still accuse people of witchcraft pretty funny you can just be like

Starting point is 01:12:52 wouldn't that be the scariest thing oh she's a fucking witch I hate those people who are like oh I'd love to have lived in this time and that time it's like are you serious right now like you wanted to live in a it wasn't that long ago. In the future is always

Starting point is 01:13:07 the best bet. Yeah, the future is going to be awesome. Like, if you go far enough forward, it gets real bad, but then if you keep going farther, it gets real good again. It's certainly the way I look at it. Like, there might be some bad days in the future, but there's going to be some great days. There's going to be space exploration,

Starting point is 01:13:23 and faster-than-light travel travel and all sorts of cool things. Diseases will be eliminated. Like, it's going to be great. But you go back just like 100 fucking years, 200 years, and they're burning witches. They're burning witches. And all it takes to be accused of a witch is for the other girls at school to be jealous of your hair or something like look up any stats about the rate of witchery and you'll see they you know they've only increased since we stopped doing this yeah i mean i mean eventually it seems like the future will collapse like the planet will decide to say fuck you or something like that that shit's

Starting point is 01:14:03 cyclical like like i said there going to be some bad times, but it's always going to get better. It's always going to get better. I saw Rogan talking about how there are some people who believe that all the alien sightings, especially those that we've had recently where there are actual fighter pilots talking about seeing these objects

Starting point is 01:14:18 that are traveling at speeds that are not possible by a human or anything like that. There are some people who think that those are time travelers. Which people don't think that aliens have visited here? Because I can't imagine. You guys don't think that aliens have visited here? By aliens, you mean intelligent life in a spacecraft

Starting point is 01:14:38 came, observed us, and left. Yeah. I'm not saying that. Again, I'm a gambler, so i'd like to bet a lot of money that that's happened i i think that i think that i think that the odds okay how would you like be how would you prove it well there's no way to quantify it well you drag i mean i don't live too far from i don't live too far from area 51 okay right i so i remember one guy and i i can't name him whatever but he like used to work at area 51 and he said i can't confirm or deny like that i've seen alien life and aircrafts being worked on

Starting point is 01:15:16 in area 51 like there's so much evidence i think it's almost overwhelming at this point if you really go down the rabbit hole and not the crazy rabbit hole of like these weirdos that like saw something in the woods but when you talk about you know people that worked in this environment like that were actual uh you know military or something like that talking about all the documents and things they've seen all the way back from like the 30s 40s and 50s bob lazar is the best piece of evidence bob lazar is a perfect example. He's not lying. Who was Bob Lazar for the audience, Kyle? Bob Lazar was a guy who claims he worked at a part of the Area 51 base. And some of the interesting things about Bob Lazar is he talked about this element way back in the 80s when he came forward with his story. At the time, the element was only theorized.

Starting point is 01:16:04 It's now on the periodic table. He's, and he said that he saw nine spacecraft one, at least one of which had been part of an archeological, archeological dig, but they had found this thing. It had been here for a very long time. Some of them were crashes.

Starting point is 01:16:17 And he has a lot of there. Another thing that he spoke about is the biometric scanner that, that was used to gain entry into the base. And he explained that it's your hand goes onto it and actually measures fingertip length in relation to the bones in your hands. And at the time in the eighties, everybody was like biometrics aren't a thing yet. We don't believe you're just make that's as much gobbledygook as little green

Starting point is 01:16:39 men that you're talking about. But now there's photographs of the exact device that he described things like his, his his his education has been erased his Social Security number is gone and you got to think that like during the time where he came forward It was the 80s. Everything was literally there was literally a paper trail when we talk about a paper trail now We mean data We mean things in servers that that are kind of hard to actually get rid of because there's so many duplicates across the

Starting point is 01:17:06 internet. The Streisand effect alone, we've seen how it's hard to get rid of a fucking meme now. But back then you could just delete someone's identity by going to a couple of different folders, taking the papers out and tearing them in half and now this guy's education is

Starting point is 01:17:21 gone. They claim that he didn't work at these bases but there are registries with his name on them. There's a lot of evidence to support the fact that he was there. You listen to him talk. He's clearly a very well-educated guy, and he said that he saw flying saucers in there and that he was part of the team that was working to try to understand their propulsion system,

Starting point is 01:17:41 which he claims was a gravity manipulation system powered by this uh this element that i referred to earlier the only thing that seems kind of like up in the air with it is i feel like if aliens that are advanced enough to get here and have shit like a gravity propulsion system like would they crash like because if you're that advanced it seems like they could just easily come take a peek at us and then leave without our, you know, puny technology being able to get a peek at them. Yeah. Well, if you think about how many, if you, that's just a question of numbers, right? If

Starting point is 01:18:14 they've done, let's say for example, a million trips, the odds are that some of those trips may have had some complications, you know, occasionally they're not, it's just like likely unlikely to be completely perfect, you know, and there's been, you know, they're not just like likely unlikely to be completely perfect you know and there's been you know there was the one crash what was it what the hell roswell or whatever it was called yeah way back when there's that one and there was a recent crash this one this one is interesting it's a youtube video of these kids in australia who all all kids that are like six five six seven years old all way too young to be able to lie this effectively they all collectively were asked one by one what they just saw they they describe a man in a spaceship they describe the typical

Starting point is 01:18:49 you know alien look of a guy that you know you know we uh we we assimilate with the with what aliens look like so either a this was some sort of hoax gang you know thing where some guy did this came in a ship and was trying to create this or like these kids clearly saw something whether it was an alien or whether it was a fake they saw something there's just no way that that didn't happen and again like it could be a hoax but i just think there's far too many um there's far too much evidence out there already that the government knows stuff that uh if you ever see unassigned i think it called, on Netflix, that's one that goes down the rabbit hole, too, starting from Roswell until now. To go aside, Bob Lazar also has a Netflix special, I think, too, about his journey. See, this is the kind of shit Trump should be tweeting, like photos, evidence for the rest of us.

Starting point is 01:19:40 Dude, I thought if aliens were real, Trump would tell us like these are milanians people i could imagine a world where like any other president obama w clinton etc doesn't like immediately go like are they aliens thing right i want the inside scoop but trump would on day one i feel like that was his top priority like tell me about the little green men. You guys were saying that there wasn't a deep state. It's deeper than you know. You know, get a load of this. It's just a photo of him and his fat golfing ass.

Starting point is 01:20:13 With the red hat on. Put the red hat on an alien. My friend Nurgle Nurgle made me this driver. Look at it. A thousand yards every time. That's how I want to imagine that the Space Force thing happened, is that they're like, President Trump, we do have to show you something. I know it's day one.

Starting point is 01:20:31 Tradition. He's like, Jesus fucking Christ. We don't have anything against these guys, do we? Do you even have laser guns or is that a myth? Is that a Hollywood night? And then he started the Space Force. Well, he thought stealth, like he thought stealth meant that like the ship is invisible. Like he said that many times where he actually thought like, you know, we have the stealth technology where he described it as though it would be completely invisible.

Starting point is 01:20:58 I have to believe that. I'm not the Trump. I'm sort of not a Trump person, but I have to believe that was like a misinterpretation. He might have said that, but he didn't mean it. He said it was something that he shouldn't have. Maybe they were like, Mr. President, don't tell him about the invisible ships.

Starting point is 01:21:17 Stealth. We used the word stealth. Don't talk about the fucking invisible ship program. You just see a man in a sitting position zooming through the sky. That's fantastic. Wonder Woman in the DC comics. Actually, I'm in the bathroom

Starting point is 01:21:32 of the Wonder Woman ship. Have you seen that cartoon where she goes to the bathroom in the invisible ship? Yeah, that's fucking funny. Yeah, I don't know. I've never really delved too much into the alien thing like in Roswell. I genuinely don't know i've never really delved too much into the alien thing like in roswell i i genuinely don't know it seems like maybe i don't buy that they've been here but they definitely

Starting point is 01:21:54 exist people smarter than me have said that it's almost a mathematic impossibility right there's this many stars and if this many stars have make it up 10 planets and it turns out one in a thousand of those planets is habitable like ours there's just so many that some of them have to have followed our same trajectory it would be pretty arrogant to think in the universe being as big as it is infinite that we are the only planet

Starting point is 01:22:17 that has any form of like you know life but if that was the scenario that's what they would think it would be like looking at a forest and be like, you think there's any birds in any of those trees? Yeah! Yeah, probably birds and lots of them.

Starting point is 01:22:32 Well, we can't really see them from here. Yeah, we'll point them all out. What about this tree? No bird in this tree. That's one tree! It's a forest! I think there's definitely intelligent life. I think there's people like us out there with, like, a bunch of, like like fucking octopus limbs or something like that wondering if we exist

Starting point is 01:22:48 or maybe they've been here and they're like have you been to the monkey planet? Those guys are ridiculous I would just hope that if it ever did happen where aliens showed up that we're the taller and sexier group I hope we don't make a great asshole That would suck if it's like yeah we are coming from planet Iceland

Starting point is 01:23:04 There's a group of those people with six foot ten they call them the tall whites have you heard of the tall whites google that the tall whites is a thing which is they're they're an alien crew that come from that area the scandinavians so you're like what you're describing is actually a thing in addition to the little green ones they've got the tall whites who supposedly walk among us. I only want them to show up if they're uglier than we are. They can be smarter. That's fine.

Starting point is 01:23:30 But I don't want an alpha male group of Icelandic looking guys coming. You don't want a bunch of Thors. No. Get rid of all the pussy. My biggest fear would be that our leaders made us look foolish. Like, wouldn't you be on pins and needles if they actually showed up and let's just pretend they're going to land in the United States? I don't know.

Starting point is 01:23:53 And they're like, all right, bring us your leader. And we're all like. Yeah, about that. All right, let's talk about this. Do you mean our technological leader? Just send him Oprah. I don't know. Oprah. Just send him Oprah. Here send him Oprah. I don't know. Oprah.

Starting point is 01:24:05 Just send him Oprah. Here's our leader. I don't know. Do you mean like maybe the leader of the NHL? Because we've got a couple of good old boys from Canada. But if you have to be like, Mr. Trump, the visitors, they want to see you. Trump instantly leads with this bullshit over macho handshake and we're like he's jerking the alien around he's pulling him over he pulls the limb off

Starting point is 01:24:31 jesus trump i feel like if if aliens are advanced enough and they got here they'd like look at us the way we look at animals in a zoo almost where they'd be like these these people are hilarious look look they got little atom bombs like we had 30 000 years ago not even aliens in a zoo like termites crawling around you know like yeah there's a couple airborne ones but they're mostly land they have land bound they have no they kind of work as a society but they're essentially idiotic and this is basically nothing but what i've learned from movies but i feel like any aliens showing up here they wouldn't be nearly as interested in what we're doing and more interested in like oh fuck this is resource rich planet material see i don't believe that either take

Starting point is 01:25:14 that i don't believe the whole thing about that they would be here for our resources because i feel like they've got that technology technology they can just create things like water out of the theory so the theory about why they're here, why they're visiting, is because of our nuclear capability. And according to this one thing that I saw, they're worried about what we can do to the solar system and the universe

Starting point is 01:25:35 that can affect their planet if we go crazy and have a nuclear war here. So that's supposedly, they're worried about us because we're a hostile, crazy people. How would our nukes like fuck up a different planet i think supposedly it can have an effect on throwing things offline or whatever you know when it hits when it goes through the atmosphere and i don't

Starting point is 01:25:55 know i'm not a freaking scientist but you know they say that it could have an effect on the this is what when some supposed guy who worked in the military said he got a message from an alien, and this was the reason they supposedly... I believe that guy. Yeah, right? Yeah, my thought process would be, if they're actually visiting, then there's got to be a reason why they haven't landed and been like, hey, we're here. It's got to be because

Starting point is 01:26:18 they think we're assholes, and they don't think we're ready to even talk to them. That was my personal theory. We're not boring, though. Come on, you know that they wouldn't think we're ready to even talk to them. That was my personal theory. We're not boring, though. Come on. You know that they wouldn't think we're fucking interesting. I find termites boring. I find earthworms boring. I find all these things that are

Starting point is 01:26:34 light years below me to be uninteresting to watch for more than a few years. Termites don't have shit like bumfights. We have culture. I get the comparison between a higher higher being and termites and i get that but we have culture right we have comedy we have entertainment we have a lot of things that i feel like we would be interesting like like even if you

Starting point is 01:26:56 found like if we found some like early hominids on fucking pluto and we were like they eat their own shit but god damn are they some good comedians look at this slapstick they invent slapstick in the year 40 I hear you but I feel like their comedy would exist on such a higher plane that they wouldn't consider ours funny you know like

Starting point is 01:27:17 if they don't like cum jokes I don't want them coming yeah no I don't want them here okay yeah I hope there are aliens and i hope that someday that that we find out that they're real and we get to talk to them i just hope they're friendly i hope they're friendly too i hope they don't want to like turn us into some sort of slave labor or uh yeah like eat us or something wouldn't be surprising it's kind of what like well as a society we do to animals now

Starting point is 01:27:45 so if they saw us as animals they'll put us in factories and use us like in matrix and use us as batteries to power what they wanted to eat i have this hope that we're amongst the least useful slave animals on the planet right first they get the horses then they get the sheep and the goats and all sorts of shit way better than us lions and bears no because i would make a great pet we can use tools and shit like well i guess we're also the best long distance runners on the planet they put us on some big hamster wheels just grind it out boys but when it comes to dragging shit around we're terrible inverse formula but let's use these to get our ship back home that's that's the that's literally the premise of that stupid fucking John Travolta movie

Starting point is 01:28:26 that's based on the L. Ron Hubbard novel. It's a different one. That's the one they based their religion on. It's one of his actual science... It's one of the ones that were science fiction, not the real religious text. My mistake. You've got to separate

Starting point is 01:28:42 the two. Clearly, the fact that he's a science fiction writer has nothing to do with the fact that he's a science fiction writer has nothing to do with the fact that he invented his own religion. I'm going to have to look it up because it's so fucking stupid. Everybody rips on Scientology just because it happened so

Starting point is 01:28:59 recently. Whereas, I feel like Mormonism is the last one that slipped under the radar where it was far enough ago that it got a lot of people to buy into it. You know, like if, if Joseph Smith tried to pimp out Mormonism right now in 2020, people would be like, you're out of your mind. Obviously the garden of Eden wasn't in Missouri. Like you maniac. So are you right though? Are people not,

Starting point is 01:29:23 are new religions not like sprouting off all the time they just need a little while to collect steam what's the most recent one though like probably scientology right i think the definition of a religion is what's you know changed or you know because like you could have sent the reason they call themselves a religion was so that they get uh tax breaks like his whole goal and ron hubbard's goal was to create a huge church if you will because he knew that he could you know use it as you know there's no it's not taxable you just make a lot of money on it but like i can't name the most recent one but there's probably some there was a cult when i was a kid called the moonshiners right i don't think it's much older

Starting point is 01:30:00 than like the 1980s or 70s as far as i I know. Yeah, but do they have tax exemption? I could Google it. I'm not sure. But my thing is, fast forward 300 years, and maybe moonshiners is the thing that people say, no, I wouldn't ever fall for that now. How big has it got to be before it goes from cult to religion? Like how many thousands or millions of people?

Starting point is 01:30:21 It's not even about the number of people. It's more a case of like how well organized and how much money they have behind them. And Scientology has got tons of money because they get, you know, really wealthy people to buy in and they own a bunch of land. And then they made a very big, good case against the U S government and they won. They were able to beat the government on this one and, you know, registered as a religion that doesn't pay anything. I mean, it's just about size in terms of not less about size than it is about resources and money. That makes sense.

Starting point is 01:30:49 Yeah. Everything I know about Scientology comes from that one South park episode. So I'm not very, I got so into it when I was like in my early twenties, like, like reading all the Wikipedia stuff about it and some websites that were actually telling lies about Scientology to make it seem even worse than it actually was all the deaths that have happened and the you know the the slave camps they have and the the the people that they hold prisoner at times i didn't know

Starting point is 01:31:14 about that oh yeah there's lots of nonsense going on with that stuff there's a documentary called clear that covers scientology where a lot of people some actors who were in it for a long time finally got out and it's a pretty good look behind the scenes. And I've, I've watched a ton of this stuff cause I find it fascinating also, but clear is a really good one. If you're, if you're into it,

Starting point is 01:31:34 is that the one with the, cause I did listen to a Rogan episode probably like three or four years ago now where the wife from King of Queens, Leah, yeah, but she was like raised in Scient scientology like her mom was like and she was talking the whole time about like you know it wasn't about just leaving it it was like if i do leave this my mom will abandon me my father won't talk to me my like everyone in my

Starting point is 01:31:59 social circle will yeah they're they're they're ordered not to you're you're ostracized from the community and you can't can no longer have contact you're considered a uh what there's a term for it yeah yeah it's a fuck despondent person or a low like something you're an asshole basically they're like um yeah if you question it yeah she she explained like like when she finally ascended to the level where they let you read some of the sacred texts that elrond hubbard made up off the top of his head probably stoned out of his gourd and his her mom is with her like like they're wearing some sort of special like get white gown they've been they've gone through all these biometric scanners down to the vault they've opened the big book and the mom's saying they're like yeah read it read it

Starting point is 01:32:40 yeah yeah yeah yeah and she's like reading Xenu and the intergalactic war and the body Thetans being cast into the volcanoes and the spaceship. Wait, South Park wasn't lying? Yeah. She's reading that shit you saw in the South Park episode

Starting point is 01:32:59 and she's like, for real? And the mom's like, can you believe it? And she's like, no! I can't. I'm $300,000 in! Funny, so you say this was written by a science fiction author? Yes. Yes, this would be like if Gene Roddenberry just randomly started a religion in the 70s. Nobody would have bought into that.

Starting point is 01:33:23 The fact that he got away with it proves that he's one of the best con men ever. To transition from sci-fi writer to writing your own religious text and selling it as fact. It happens to be so sci-fi based. It's about aliens. It's an intergalactic alien

Starting point is 01:33:41 story. It's no more ridiculous than Star Wars. That's when you get deep and you're allowed to have that access to that information. But at the outset, the reason that it works so well is because they mask it. It's just like, first of all, it's like an act. In LA, what they did was come for an acting class, right? It's a free acting class. Then at the end, they would try to sell you on this thing.

Starting point is 01:34:06 And when people would go, they would hook them up to a machine, which is like a lie. It's essentially a lie detector test. And then they would just have this person divulge a bunch of information about themselves, kind of like going to a therapist. Now, these people would feel good, right? Because that's what happens when you go to a priest or you go to whatever, when you like let, you know, you, you let go of certain things, you feel good about yourself. So now they attach that to this program. The reason they keep all this stuff because they record it and keep it is so that they have dirt

Starting point is 01:34:29 on you. Like Tom Cruise, perfect example. Like if he ever wanted to leave, they have these tapes they would release and they threaten them with it. Any people that do try to leave, they have people follow them. It's like very intense. There's another really good documentary about transformational work called The Life and Legacy of Werner Erhardt. And in that they show what Scientologists did to, to, uh, to Werner Erhardt, who was trying to do something. He took things from Scientology. He wasn't Scientologist, but a lot of people in the early eighties were moving towards that and away from Scientology. So they decided that they were going to try to ruin them. That's kind of what the doc is about. That's really good.

Starting point is 01:35:06 That's interesting. That whole having things on them. I feel like the government does that on people. They get a thing on you and you get trapped and you're unable to do what you want to do. That's what the entire Epstein thing was. Isn't that what Lindsey Graham is in?

Starting point is 01:35:21 Isn't that Lindsey Graham's case right now? I'm a straight male. Yeah, right? And I love Trump. As the day is long. No, they should put him down and just send him pictures of pussies and just see the kind of response. He's like, oh, I don't care for that one. No, it's not because it's a pussy.

Starting point is 01:35:42 It's just because I'm not horny. I had so much straight sex with the woman that my nuts are empty. He should just come out. We don't care. It's your politics. I'm as straight as the day is long.

Starting point is 01:35:59 That's why I fuck men every night. That's not gay time. Then fucking a woman. How feminine is that? I like a big, burly man. He's so effeminate.

Starting point is 01:36:14 He is, yeah. So effeminate. Yeah. Yeah, he's... I mean, it must be hard for a guy who's rich and famous to find a girl. He's just biding his time. Yeah, he's just...

Starting point is 01:36:31 He's waiting for his golden years. My mother always told me, don't settle down too early. The other thing that I think they get on people, they said this about Julius Songe, I think, that as soon as you go on the wrong side of the government, you're a pedophile. Don't they have him for raping a young lady?

Starting point is 01:36:51 I have no idea. That seems like the easiest thing to do, right? Just be like, this guy's a pedo. And no one is going to defend a pedophile. Everybody universally hates pedophiles. Well, I mean, unless itllywood for the 30 years that yeah they have the guy they've accused him of suspicion of rape in three cases and unlawful

Starting point is 01:37:13 coercion and stuff like that yeah and uh you don't know what's true people tend to automatically believe those accusations especially if it's a young person and it's just the worst smear you can put and i it i don't know other examples on top of my head but apparently it's a normal it's almost like standard procedure you're on the wrong side of the government they call you a pedophile i mean alex jones was talking about this you know that's that they literally they literally have they're called child pornography snipers and they will put a USB into a long-range rifle, fire that into your computer and then it will begin downloading.

Starting point is 01:37:50 You don't have to believe me, folks. This has happened dozens of times. Don't ask me when. Don't ask me when. We're locked and loaded firing our child porn USBs. What a hilarious blackmail. I imagine they put it in.

Starting point is 01:38:10 It's upside down. They flip it. It's still wrong. It always takes three tries, just like it does me. No, they got it. They got a Chris Kyle style, 500 yards, boom,

Starting point is 01:38:19 right into the USB. They turn it over and shoot it. I believe they do that though did you ever see the alex jones because he's that was a really good impression where he had like this this he was selling this product like this weight loss product so he was shirtless and then he was shirtless like two months later and like the only thing that looked different about his body was that he was red yeah like he was sunburned in the second one it's like you're still just as fat as you were.

Starting point is 01:38:46 That's my passion, reddening cream. You have a fundamental misunderstanding of what that product was trying to do. That is a reddening cream. And you will also notice my neck was thicker. That's my neck thickening salve. Be sure to buy that on InfoWars.com slash gimmeyourmoneyretard. Let Alex Jones back on social media. Come on. It's so funny. Stop.

Starting point is 01:39:14 Someone's got to take Limbaugh's spot. I was about to say. There's about to be a big opening over there. Somebody's got to take Limbaugh's spot. I've never listened to his show even once you've never listened to limbaugh no he's good he's a misinformer i hear he's like entertaining he's very entertaining he's got a good flow kind of guy i guess on the radio you have to be a charismatic he's great at mocking people like like like from you know he's he's holding all

Starting point is 01:39:42 the cards right so it's not like there's anybody there fact checking behind him he's just pushing just bulldozing through with like facts and uh it's great it's it's really funny because he's got that he's got that flow he's got that voice and and you know to me oh we're gonna take a break now when i come back i'm gonna tell you about how the liberals are killing babies he invented this style where like i'll take your tape planet taylor and then stop it call you an idiot you know say a bunch of things that are aren't true to like re you know rebuke your point reject your point whatever and uh and then play a little more of you and continue on i might he used to just make stupid faces while the other person talked right and it's not a debate i'm not describing a debate talking about playing your video and then talking shit about your video as if it was a debate that i was killing in and then people had to be doing that way before him

Starting point is 01:40:39 i don't know i hadn't seen that before him. He's the biggest and the best. His radio show was enormous. He had a TV show back in the 90s maybe. Yeah, his TV show in the 80s was huge. And that's what he would do. He'd just play your thing and then make dumb faces while you spoke your piece. And then sort of smack it down without an ability to get back. He's very good. Very entertaining.

Starting point is 01:41:01 You know who's got the best job? It's that guy Pat Robertson in the 700 Club. He's like a multi-multi-millionaire and all he does is like just call people demons. That's got to be great, right? Did you see the guy who's like trying to sue the NFL

Starting point is 01:41:20 for $787 billion because it affected his path to the kingdom of heaven you didn't see this no so he's trying to sue the nfl because this is the halftime show j-lo and shakira you know they were like dancing and they were fully clothed but he's furious it was like i've watched it it was he literally says i want to sue for 78 780 million because he said what did he say said my 12 year old son who's just getting to know his uh his uh his uh hormonal you know stuff he was horm he was hormonally aroused without my permission and we didn't know there was was there any warnings that there was going to be any of this and like so oh this is the halftime show

Starting point is 01:42:03 with the butts yes that's fair i always text my dad for permission before i fuck you gotta watch this video if you find it i appreciate how liberal he is that'd be so funny he's like and it is inappropriate for you to do that on there because my 12 year old son walked in on me beating off to Shakira's ass. The onus of this is not on me. It is on everyone else. That's hilarious. You know what? I think he's probably going to lose

Starting point is 01:42:38 that one. I think he's got a solid case. It's a pretty good chunk. $786 million, I think. You're a billion man. What do you put the odds at? Well, you know, considering who we've got in the Supreme Court now and the way we're headed, you know, maybe he's got a shot. Who knows?

Starting point is 01:42:52 I don't know. That would be hilarious. The NFL goes bankrupt because one guy's beaten up. Goodell coming out. I'm so sorry, but we got to fold it in. Have you guys seen the XFL? Yeah, we've got a team. Woohoo.

Starting point is 01:43:11 I'll go watch a game. Dude, I'm excited about the concept of the XFL, right? I don't know what this one has going on compared to the last one, but you know, at the beginning game, there's a coin flip, I think, to determine which the kickoff goes. They used to have two people race to the middle to get the ball that's a great idea that is a that is a really fun way way more fun than a than a coin flip uh love it hot wait what'd you say dodgeball and uh i don't know there's a lot of things that they can do that the hotter the cheerleaders

Starting point is 01:43:44 the that would be good, the racing one. Because then you look at a guy like Usain Bolt. And you're like, I know you can't catch the ball. I know you can't play football. Just do this part for us. Get us the coin toss. You might earn a roster spot for that. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:43:56 You know what else? There's no fair catches. So guys are going to get fucking pummeled. And that's entertaining. Well, there's this counter strategy, right? Like, what if there's something like a fair catch you wrap that guy with your own team perform a ring of fire defense so he can get a fair catch and duck out do new shit i think it's going to be successful because my understanding is like now like the nfl isn't seeing them as a rival it's almost like they're

Starting point is 01:44:21 seeing them as like a player development kind of thing where it's like you know if you get good enough to come to the nfl you can you know and this is a nice training it's probably going to be higher skilled in the canadian football league i would guess i hope that it is the football equivalent of slam ball do you remember the basketball games played on trampoline so many broken ankles yes That's what I want! Heck, man. That game was, even when I was like seven watching that, I'm like,

Starting point is 01:44:48 this is dangerous. You shouldn't be doing this. People like worked out that double bounce so you can slam from 30 feet away. It was outrageous. I forgot about slam ball.

Starting point is 01:45:00 God, that was sick. They need to bring that back. Like this, and checking, and the boards like hockey, but not pads like hockey. Don't know. And it seems like every four minutes, some guy comes down eight inches to the right of where he thought,

Starting point is 01:45:13 and it's just ankle. Just threw it. Just like my slam ball. Yeah, with the trampolines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I always liked when they would fall wrong, and their leg would go up to the hip between the padding and the trampoline

Starting point is 01:45:28 and they'd just be stuck there and the game would just continue there should be a safer version they can remove the trampolines and put in those indoor skydiving rigs that just blow you up have you ever done one of those? I haven't, I've heard it's exhausting I didn't feel like it was strenuous at all.

Starting point is 01:45:45 It's just really fun. Okay. You're in a tube and everybody kind of gathers around the margins on the outside on pads. And they crank the volume of air up to match your weight. So they can kind of make you weightless. And then you can bounce off the bottom, which is like several mesh screens that are bouncy. And you can do all kinds of crazy like flips. Could you do flips and stuff on your first day?

Starting point is 01:46:08 Or were you just struggling to? Okay, this isn't what I expected. No, what I expected was it was hard just to not slam off the walls and fall down and maintain anything. Doing flips was an advanced thing. I also expected that, like, I think they told me that it's expensive. It's like a hundred dollars for a minute or like $200 for five minutes, but you might not even want five because a minute's enough. Like that's what I was told. No way. No, I went to a place in,

Starting point is 01:46:36 I think Gatlinburg, Tennessee was the first one I went to. And then I went to another one called like Sky Zone or something in Atlanta. And I loved loved it i was like 15 or 16 at the time but like i just remember being it being really easy um and and like having lots of fun i don't remember being my dad was obviously paying because i was 15 or something but like i don't remember it being like i don't think he would have paid 200 for five minutes of me floating around on a tube i don't think yeah my thought process was it was maybe like 50 bucks or they have one not too far from here like call it an hour that i can try might be worth it it's fun i i loved it as a kid i haven't done it like recently or anything but uh but it was always it was always a lot of fun you know

Starting point is 01:47:16 you get in that like wingsuit and the little kids i noticed had like batman themed wingsuits and even as a teen i was like why don't why did mine all red and fucking white why don't i get the batman suit he looks like he looks like batman i look like robin what kind of crap is this it's red and yellow and green yeah that shit was fun i like all those like tourist trap type uh type things like that i've done the random skydiving like from a plane i think i've talked about that on the show that that was a good time i enjoyed that but i'd like to try the other yeah yeah it's oh it's definitely there's no way it's as fun as jumping out of a fucking airplane don't don't

Starting point is 01:47:57 get me wrong but but it's kind of a fun thing to do like it it's in the same realm to me as like putt putt and like miniature golf and um like laser tag and stuff like that like i feel like i feel like one of those things would fit in really not and go-karts like you and i went to that place with all three i just feel like it would like one of those indoor skydiving things would like fit right in with that sort of genre was that in raleigh yeah like pretty near your house like maybe 15 20 minute drive or something like that gotcha yeah there's another one that's farther like an hour and a half from my house where the go-karts are legit and dangerous yeah like it probably everyone knows places like like there's fun go-karts that

Starting point is 01:48:35 like i don't know you can drive and it's just a good time and if you smash into a wall you're probably okay dude we got there and within a few seconds of walking in a car hit a wall and did like a flip and a half and landed upside like understand this is a half flip right it did a flip and a half and then the guy landed upside down and he was in like tires or something i was like that did they just have a hard time if you wreck the car we didn't wreck any car i don't know how they treated him but um we went to one in colorado in denver um me and taylor and chiz and my girlfriend and it was i don't i think i think they go 45 or 55 i don't remember which but it was indoors and i just remember when we all got done like like all of us from from me to chis to taylor our forearms were numb we were literally sitting there like

Starting point is 01:49:31 tyrannosaurus is like just like i had no idea when we were doing it because it was fun but we're just torquing continuously because there's no power steering and you're going so goddamn fast it's it was a lot of fun though i enjoyed that we wrecked a lot we had the same thing but it wasn't um numb forms it was just fatigue like i was having so much fun i didn't realize until it was over that i'm hot sweaty i'm kind of like you know i'm a three out of ten now in terms of like exhaustion like what i have to offer if i were to go say back to back like i i didn't even notice wearing out during the drive but i did yeah i like i like that stuff a lot yeah good times daniel poker question okay is it still fun is it a job do you like you said you were kind of taking a bit of a poker vacation. I assumed that recharging is part of the strategy.

Starting point is 01:50:26 What do you got? Well, the truth is like, I don't need to play as you know, when I was young, it was a job because I had to play every day to make money, to pay rent and all that stuff. I, my whole goal was to work hard in my twenties and thirties, you know, so I don't have to anymore. And I don't. So now I get, now it is fun, right? Cause I get to play when I want to play.

Starting point is 01:50:43 Now, if I had to go clock in and clock out every day, it might seem a little monotonous playing the same game over and over and over. But now I look forward to the big tournaments or whatever the case may be. And yeah, I mean, it's fun when I – if it's not fun, I don't play. I don't feel like it. I'm projecting it, but I guess it's somewhat about the game and somewhat about the people, old friends. That's what makes it fun.

Starting point is 01:51:07 A little bit. They call it Bobby's room. Doyle Brunson, he's 86 years old. He still plays there at the Bellagio. And it's just a group of guys. They shoot the shit. They've been friends for a long time. So sometimes it's fun to just go hang out with them,

Starting point is 01:51:20 hopefully make a few bucks. But as far as the the game itself i still find it enjoyable and fun when um because probably because i don't play every day if i did it might you know at this point i'm 45 it might be boring if you were to just based on fun i'm trying to remove profit potential from fun but uh would you rather play with other pros or what you called hometown heroes earlier in the show if it was for fun i mean it would depend like for what i see as a fun game is when people are drinking people are having fun nobody's taking it too seriously people are gambling so i would say that that was more likely to be like the dan blazerian type games

Starting point is 01:51:59 the steve aoki's you know that just like a bunch of rich people who are not good at poker just being dumb and actually keeping pros out a lot of these private games now if you're a pro they won't let you play like i mean you know it makes sense they don't really want to give their money to some pro right so yeah they play amongst themselves okay yeah and i just imagine like if i'm i'm good at poker but still a guy who gets just wrecked by pros it's like i don't want a shark in our pool like that takes the fun out of it we're all here splashing around having fun in the pool who brought the damn shark you know he's biting but then you have like the other side of the coin where like let's say you're like independently wealthy like why not sit like

Starting point is 01:52:44 if you could play basketball with michael or golf with tiger woods, like why not sit at a poker table with the best of the world and play for big money and challenge yourself, right? You might get humbled or humiliated, but whatever, it's not going to change your life if you're wealthy. So I think for a lot of guys, they prefer that. Like they want the absolute best. They want to feel like, you know, the awe of, you know, playing against legends. I see that point of it, but it's like, Jordan, please beat me politely. Yeah, right. Well, that's what I try to do.

Starting point is 01:53:15 You know? Yeah. It might wear out if you just like, you know, what are you thinking being on the court with me? I don't know. I mean, I don't know. Some people love that too like when phil hellmuth does that because phil hellmuth plays with uh chamath periani the guy who helped create facebook he plays with a lot of silicon valley people um you know jason calcanis

Starting point is 01:53:36 and these you know that type of player and they all they like they they look forward to hellmuth parading them like that's a thing that they are actually actively hoping happens. I get that. I just wanted to have a good game. I just wanted to have a good time. Hell around with my friends. I hope everybody wins.

Starting point is 01:54:01 So, like, if you were to jump into a game with a bunch of you know regular poker players know what they're doing but you know casual guys like it will you win a hundred percent of the time pretty much guaranteed no like over the course of a night as far as the evening goes like i'm sure you'll lose some well winome but oh it depends right so like it depends first of all how long is an evening so for example we played one hand that's all luck right play 10 hands now there's a little bit of skill play 100 hands more skill so if i played for six hours with a bunch of like average league players like weird shit happens like i can

Starting point is 01:54:39 play perfectly and still lose that's the cool thing about poker in a lot of ways like you could make the dumbest move ever right and like try to give me your money but then somehow the deck bails you out and you catch your miracle card and you know i'm losing that happens all that's one of the lures of poker one of the things about poker that confuses people like someone said this a while ago that poker is a lot like sex and that everybody thinks they're really good at it but most people don't have a clue what they're doing like you, you know, it's, it's like a lot of similarities there where, um, and because of luck, like you can be fooled, right? You can think that you're just unlucky, right? Or you can think you're really, really good because you've been lucky. So that's like the difficult thing

Starting point is 01:55:19 for professional to discern is, am I just running hot or do i know what i'm doing am i better than these people okay same with driving everybody thinks they're a good driver even when they're absolutely not i wonder if i've ever met someone who said like i'm a bad driver and i can't think of one no i can't think of any i mean you've met a lot of women my wife well the proof's in the pudding. Jackie will just straight up admit it and be like, yeah, not my thing. She goes to back out of a parking space. She just screams, look out!

Starting point is 01:55:57 Two days ago, her car died. And she's like, I swear, I didn't hit anything this time. It just happened. I was going straight level and it just blew up you immediately check under the car for a mailman she's calling it 30 000 miles ago the car is making noises and i'm like all right because that could mean anything it's brake squeal belt squeal like it anything and uh she's like it it sounds like a choo-choo train and she sent me an audio file via text it's like

Starting point is 01:56:28 i was like oh my god yeah i'm going 82 miles an hour on the freeway right now is this a problem get your ass home she held it up by the hood valves going bad or something no it was um uh i popped the hood and looked at it and right in the front of the engine there's a big pulley with the fan on it for the radiator and that thing was like moving and shaking and going all sorts of things off track and i don't know what's on the other side of that but it looked like it was connected to some important rod and the whole system is making sound not just

Starting point is 01:57:14 the front clunking it went so i'm like all right honey kill the car and it goes and all these metal shavings of glitter i like you said one of the important rods like some mechanics like yep there's your problem if one of the unimportant rods broke you'd be fine but this is an important one this is what we call the five essential rides. It might be time for a new car. Yeah, I got her a new one yesterday. Oh, what'd you get her? So we went to the dealership looking at the 4Runners,

Starting point is 01:57:57 which is what she had since 2006, maybe. Yeah, those are solid cars. And she really liked. But we got her the new one. We test drove one or two of them, checked out all. We started doing our online research and stuff and she just she liked it

Starting point is 01:58:08 but it wasn't like the transformation she was looking for it kind of looked updated the 4Runner I think is due for a little love inside to make it nicer and

Starting point is 01:58:19 we were kind of decided to get it but not enthusiastic about it and the salesman's like there's a Highlander sitting inside the showroom thing. Typically, they put the nicest version of a model there. And Jackie's really big on sitting high. And the Highlander's not as high as the 4Runner, but I sat in it and I was like, this is really nice. It's the model down from the 4erunner but it was more luxurious just

Starting point is 01:58:47 because it was updated so recently and uh i was like you should just sit in it like you know and see if it's your cup of tea and uh she like it's higher than most crossovers i would argue and uh it's all-wheel drive and and she just liked it a lot. So that's what we ended up getting, a Toyota Highlander Limited. Very cool. It's black, but I think they call it magnetic, and the inside is like a tan-brown combo. Yeah, we test drove all of them. It was really good, and we got her a new car yesterday.

Starting point is 01:59:23 Very cool. Nice. Daniel, you've made a lot of money. Is there anything that you... Do you have an expensive hobby or anything like that? Are you into cars? Yeah. That's why this is interesting because like...

Starting point is 01:59:38 And I thought there might be like an interesting thing there where like your job is to gamble away vast sums of money. So is there anything else that's sort of inexpensive like do you collect motorcycles do you have a huge collection of samurai swords like my favorite way to spend time or money is gambling for like crazy amounts of money on the golf course um and the other thing that i spend money on i guess would be like honestly hockey tickets i have 16 season tickets to the gold knights four that i use and then i have 12 up top that i donate to friends and family or whatever like that laying down i don't like people sitting near me

Starting point is 02:00:18 but i don't i mean i have i have a tesla i bought my wife a tesla but we're not extravagant kind of people i wear an apple Watch because it makes sense. It's practical and does way more shit than people who spend $100,000 on a watch that does nothing but tell bad time. I'm pretty logical and practical when it comes to stuff like that. I'm so out of it. I thought the Apple Watch was initially

Starting point is 02:00:38 a brag. I've got a $500 watch. Yeah, check this out. I've got an Apple Watch. I've got a career earning of over $40 million, but what I'm really proud of is this little bad boy. You don't see me with it. $219. I don't have a Hamilton.

Starting point is 02:00:53 How many calories I burn. Yeah. Have you ever done one of those events where they put you on a heart monitor? Yep. They actually called me the Ice King. It was in 2003 where i was playing poker and i had the exact same hand as mike mattesau his heart rate was 172 sitting down god okay did he die can i just interject and mine stayed at 72 the whole time despite

Starting point is 02:01:18 mike mattesau is not a uh picture of physical health no he was like all hopped up on red bull cap you know caffeine adderall you name it and he was like all hopped up on Red Bull, you know, caffeine, Adderall, you name it. And he's like in the middle of the hand, all engaged, and I was just chill. Dude, if you're at 172 sitting down, could you imagine? You're knocking on death's door. Like, that's really...

Starting point is 02:01:38 It's pretty outrageous. They show it just going tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, and you're like, okay. Yeah, what is that? I might need to call a doctor here. This is not normal. Yeah, well, I it's it's the most thrilling thing that he does right is having a good hand or maybe a bad hand he's loving yeah right yeah yeah yeah i've definitely i i've never like worn a heart rate monitor when i did it but i i definitely like

Starting point is 02:02:00 i've felt my heart just and just thinking i wonder if i can see this yes can they hear it because it's just like it's pounding in my ears that that's what makes poker so great or any game any game that can get that reaction out of you uh it is is something i love but but i guess you don't get that it sounds like i don't i'm not like i mean i get it occasionally in big tournaments but you guys were talking about jumping out of a plane and how awesome that is. That sounds just stupid to me. Like, it's just like, I get how some people get adrenaline rush, but like, Oh, let me just do this thing where I could die a horrifyingly scary death. Um, for a few thrills, like it doesn't do it for me. The idea of bungee jumping silly. Like I don't, I don't get thrills

Starting point is 02:02:41 that way. You know, having a putt for a big number of money, like a big amount of money where it's all on me. That's where I get my thrills. Definitely not jumping out of planes and all that other crazy stuff. Do you ever get to play with any, any famous guys playing poker? I know Jordan is, is a notorious golf grant gambler. Oh yeah. I mean, I've played poker and golf with some different, you know, I played with some pro, some guys in the pro two tour, Scott Piercy and whatnot. But as far as poker, like a lot of big celebrities, Ben Affleck, Tobey Maguire, they were kind of like into it before everyone, you know, when it was really hot and really cool, maybe tapered off a little bit or playing in private games.

Starting point is 02:03:18 And I played like with Leonardo DiCaprio and all those guys back in the day. Do you have a sandbag for golf betting? It seemed like that'd be the strategy. Everyone does. Everyone does. Like, except me. I was the only person in the poker community that had a handicap. Everyone else says, oh, I shoot about bogey.

Starting point is 02:03:35 And then you play with them and all of a sudden, like, oh, wow, 75. You just had a good round, huh? Like, I played four days in a row with a guy who said, well, I just round of my life it's pretty it's pretty convenient that like every time i play someone they have the round of their life i've never gotten into golf boys i gotta pee and i gotta run i think uh i appreciate you coming on and you were fantastic yeah we really enjoyed you is there anything you want to plug before you go any any uh um well if you can i mean obviously if you're in the u.s you can't but like if you play online poker best series you can is uh on gg poker it's called the gg masters 150 buying every sunday check it out get a 200 deposit bonus use promo code daniel that's about it yeah well thank you

Starting point is 02:04:20 very much for coming on it was a pleasure speaking to you. You got it, guys. Have a good one. Yeah. Good night. See you. Let me do a quick advertisement. I really enjoyed Daniel. Yeah. That guy's awesome. This episode of PK is brought to you by a company that we have a lot of personal experience with, Postmates. You know what's great about eating your favorite thing? It's your favorite thing, and you're eating it. You know what's not so great?

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Starting point is 02:05:47 You deserve it. Did you get your Postmates credits on your account yet? Oh, I haven't checked. I probably have. I gave Chiz the wrong email, so I have no idea. Why would you give him the wrong email? I've got like three or four or five emails i use and and like the i accidentally gave him the wrong one so i think i got it corrected so it should be on there

Starting point is 02:06:10 in a few days we'll see but they said they wanted to send us some credits so i got my dna test back yes i've got um i've got a few screenshots here um so here's the one that's sort of the broad strokes if you want to show people, let me make sure I'm not oversharing. I was surprised when I said you're 5% gay. Yeah. Shocker. That's what happens when you ejaculate in that cup.

Starting point is 02:06:37 That would be a hilarious, inexpensive bit. It's just send him a cup of cum. Yeah. So, uh, man, you're not as fuck. I'm just making sure you're not oversharing

Starting point is 02:06:48 last name's fine to share yeah no it's out there but white as fuck yeah they're court records um 99.7 european all right british and irish British and Irish. 90 is 63%. It seems like most of my ancestors hail from London. Mostly Irish. London and Dublin, Ireland. Yeah. Yeah. 16% French and German.

Starting point is 02:07:17 A little bit of Scandinavian. The classic self-hating Irishman. Yes. Just a speck. No, here's a speck. A speck of Spanish and Portuguese. Just a little. Just a taste. Did you say speck on purpose for that one?

Starting point is 02:07:33 I did. It took me a second to catch on. Here's the most interesting thing out of the whole thing. I could show you the screenshots of all the traits, but it's literally nothing bad and everything good. It's kind of boring. Where's the Neanderthal part? Right here.

Starting point is 02:07:52 Spoiler alert. I have 315 Neanderthal variants. That silhouette picture. This is more than 95% of 23andMe customers. I have more Neanderthal variants than 95% of 23andMe customers. I have more Neanderthal variants than 95% of the people who have ever been tested. And you're still only in second place on this podcast. Words hurt, Taylor.

Starting point is 02:08:25 I had a relative who was like 60% more, obviously because they're a relative and they had the same descendants. But both of my parents had Neanderthal traits. So I get like a double dose where like she was like 60% or something. Or like she was like 200 traits. And that made up like more than 70% of the people who had been tested. I'm at 315. The highest ever tested is 340. I look forward to where the memes are going on this.

Starting point is 02:08:49 Good for you, man. VN High Neanderthal? That's good. They were smarter than us. Were they? See, the whole reason there's the meme of like, oh, these idiots is because the first skeleton we discovered of Neanderthals was an old person

Starting point is 02:09:05 with crippling arthritis and back problems. That kind of took over the cultural zeitgeist of like, oh, they were all hunchbacked and dumb. When in reality, I think they had quite a bit. Significantly larger. Why did they lose?

Starting point is 02:09:20 There were more of us. We outbred them. We outbred them and then fucked them. I don't think you should be saying more of us. Yeah, we outbred them. We outbred with them and then fucked them. I don't think you should be saying more of us. In your case, it's more of them. They just

Starting point is 02:09:35 outworked us. You humans were going hard in the paint. We'd have one, maybe two children. You'd have eight or ten. It was crazy. You'd take our women, mape them. You're not going to get a lot of kids if you're murdering them after.

Starting point is 02:09:53 I never said humans were smart. They didn't understand how reproduction worked. Yeah. I wonder what they sounded like. Oh, Chiz got his DNA tested too. Chiz also has his here. He's got a whole album of these. If you click the imager part.

Starting point is 02:10:08 Let me. Yeah, he's mostly Southern European. Let me see if there's anything he included that I didn't. I'm going to make sure I didn't include anything he wouldn't want shared. Ah, 2.2% Asian, Northwest Asian for Chiz. Pretty cool. Yeah, I did the $100 upgrade. So it tells you like all of the diseases

Starting point is 02:10:28 that you could possibly be likely to get. Everything from Alzheimer's to certain cancers, different kinds of blood diseases and brain diseases. And I would have included that, but it literally says no traits. Like for two pages, it's like nothing. So like, you know there was one about like what kind of earwax i would have you know whether it's like chalky wax or if

Starting point is 02:10:52 it's like runny sticky earwax so probably the waxy sticky kind right sure you know um you know things about um baldness back hair um uh earlobe attachment or detachment the length of your middle finger or something in relation to your index finger lots of stuff like that that's just like boring shit and that was just like straight across the board like not no no bad things and all good things frankly why does it say here that you have a tiny dick well they made me measure it they didn't ask for that measurement but i i did include a couple of polaroids with my spit sample and i wanted to cover all my bases so i sent a stool sample as well they were disgusted so i'll be thorough i'm behind the i like triple check to make sure it was okay to

Starting point is 02:11:46 share his results but um so he i want to go over again he's mostly spanish and portuguese and italian broadly south european a little bit of northwestern european british and irish like kyle he's like the antithesis of kyle as far as europeans go he's all southern european kyle's all northern european mostly yeah he's pretty neanderthal too is it neanderthal as i've always said it's supposed to be neanderthal but they shouldn't have thrown that fucking h in there if they wanted people to say it right that's how that's how it is it's it's neanderthal yeah i almost always say neanderthal, too. Okay.

Starting point is 02:12:30 Ability to match musical pitch, 50-50. He can smell asparagus. Can't we all? No. Who can't smell asparagus? Some people. Some people think cilantro tastes like soap because of a genetic thing they have. Likely no cleft chin.

Starting point is 02:12:44 Likely no hair loss. I think that's true. Likely wet earwax. That's something I didn't know about, Chiz. It tastes terrible. I mean, earwax is associated, I think the same gene that's responsible for how wet your earwax is, is responsible for BO,

Starting point is 02:13:00 which is why, like, Asian people have, like, drier earwax and they have way less BO, whereas have like drier earwax and they have way less bo whereas white people have wet earwax and way more bo i didn't know that that shit works black people next taylor i don't know i'm not the earwax expert no such thing uh yeah black people don't have earwax that's a that's a that's a racist trope yeah that's really interesting well i mean you didn't get any you didn't get any like uh anything that lets you say fun words so that kind of stinks oh you can make fun of the irish that's true you already

Starting point is 02:13:39 scroll hard enough 0.2 sub-saharan african oh my brother dude there is no way that is an error what does that mean one black like grandma 30 000 years ago kyle i like the i got my pants on joke as to why he couldn't see you were black and didn't want to slip under the radar just fine just fine. My people are always being ignored. My brothers. Jizz is CT most common for elite power

Starting point is 02:14:16 athletes? I got that as well. He's A likely similar weight on diets, high or low unsaturated fat. He's... Of course you did. All that Northern European. A. Likely similar weight on diets, high or low in saturated fat. Similar to what?

Starting point is 02:14:33 I don't understand that. Yeah, I was looking at that. Probably why my body does so well with losing weight, feeling good, and putting muscle on when I do keto. All right. Age-related macular degeneration? What's macular degeneration? That's when your eyes go bad. Oh, I didn't know that.

Starting point is 02:14:49 Okay. Slightly increased risk. No, I got that one. Yours isn't age-related. It's life-related. Yeah. I might have that one. Shitty genetics.

Starting point is 02:15:02 What is this? BRCA one in two genes increase cancer risk he does not have that well lucky for him yeah that's the last one good for you Chiz I was just thinking about his chances of getting cancer this is way off my shoulders

Starting point is 02:15:17 fingers crossed yeah I'm trying to see if there's any health and traits that are even worth like showing of mine because like I said it's just my health action plan. This thing's really cool. Black history month. Your trace ancestry did not say that it was sub-Saharan.

Starting point is 02:15:37 Mm-hmm. Yeah, let me see if I can find. Oh, maybe if you expand that arrow next to it, I can see it. Yeah, I'm going to do that right now. Okay. Yeah, because I thought it was undefined, but now I understand it's just unexpanded. Oh, good for Chiz. Likely no bolt spot.

Starting point is 02:15:55 Yeah. Angolan and Congolese. That's what is in that trace ancestry? Yeah, I'm going to screenshot it. Where's Angolia? I'm stupid. I'm sorry. It's in Northern Africa.

Starting point is 02:16:15 Yeah. Oh, okay. 0.2%. Let's go. That's enough to get you by. Yep. Why do you not take my application for this scholarship do i get reparations because of this am i could i get some you should kyle it's your month right now it is my month oh i frackers as far as hey i, I could be 0.3%

Starting point is 02:16:46 Congolese. You're 85% Neanderthal. You need to take this fucking test. You're going to blow me out of the water. Can't wait to win the Neanderthal contest. They're not even going to mail you results. They're just going to show up fucking lab coats on Mr. Taylor. Just bursting into

Starting point is 02:17:02 the room. My God, we've discovered the missing link. He's alive and he lives in eastern Missouri. They immediately dart you. Look at the size of this cranium. Look at measuring. We thought bones this thick were stuff of myths and folklore you ever see that uh like i've talked about it before but way back in the bomb hunter

Starting point is 02:17:35 when you when you would get yeah when you get the bomb fight dvd you'd also have some clips from the bomb hunter every now and then he'd dress just like Steve Irwin. He's like, all right Got a big buck here. He's hiding out behind this refuge. Yeah. Yeah Everyone be very quiet We've got to take this big buck by surprise and he just leaps on to a big homeless black man and starts duct-taping him up And the black guys like what the fuck are you doing? Calm down big fella calm down and like once he's properly restrained aka kidnapped he starts measuring the man's skull with a tape measure and then he takes a sharpie and writes

Starting point is 02:18:15 like 47b or something on his forehead and then he's like jot that down 47b all right 32 inches inseam 45 inch waist all right. Document this, document this. We're going to tag him now and release him back into the world. Fucked. Piercing a homeless guy's ear with a tag. They wrote on him with a sharpie. That was how they tagged him. It's really mean.

Starting point is 02:18:39 I like to think that after the camera's turned off, they apologize and give him something that made it like it look I'm sorry bro it's for a thing the sign right here accept my $100 as payment and we'll put it on bump fight you know what I can tell you with confidence that did not happen

Starting point is 02:18:57 I'm wish casting the black guys they were so terrible that is so mean spirited and so fucking good that is hilarious i was 18 at the time i didn't think it was sad at all i love that shit i was just like are there more of these like i want to subscribe donate and and become a part of this guy's fan base yeah but but now i realized like i donated that's one of those awful things that yeah i'd i would pay extra so I'm a part of this guy's fan base. But now I realize, like... I'd donate to that guy's Patreon. Yeah, I would pay

Starting point is 02:19:28 extra so I could go on a bum hunt. Yeah. If you donate $500, you get to go on, like, a bum hunt safari. Welcome to Portland, home of the most virulent bums in the land. Crikey, this one's got needles all over him.

Starting point is 02:19:44 Yeah. You see, he's put these needles all over him as a defense mechanism. That won't work on us, though. It's so fucked. It's a wild kingdom. Lure him out with some Bud Light.

Starting point is 02:20:01 Opioids. Yeah. So I've got a couple of funny videos. i got one very funny video okay oh you got a thing uh we should do your videos what you got what videos this is this is like mildly politically right uh people getting hit by cars even better i'll be the judge this is a lady who voted for oh so funny amazing cool gal of the week voted for

Starting point is 02:20:33 voted for my boy Pete who just dominated the Iowa caucuses in some cases by more than 1% and she had no idea that he might. Like Dick. Like Dick.

Starting point is 02:20:51 Are you guys ready? I'm always ready. Three, two, one, play. So are you saying that he has the same sex partner? Yes, yes, yes. Look at her face. Are you kidding? Yeah, he's married to him, yeah. Well then I don't want anybody like that in the White House.

Starting point is 02:21:09 So can I have my car back? I don't know. He signed it. We could go ask. I never knew that. The whole point of it is, though, is... She should watch the show. He's a human being, right?

Starting point is 02:21:24 Just like you and me. And it shouldn't really matter. They get to choose in Iowa? They get to set the tone? None of us should get to choose in Iowa. Some of us don't. Because why does it say in the Bible that a man should marry a woman then? Well, I totally understand.

Starting point is 02:21:41 Look at her face. Like she's got her. I so totally do. But I think that we were not around. How come this has never been brought out before? It's common knowledge. The deeply kept secret that Mayor Pete might be gay. We can talk to someone if you want to talk to them about it.

Starting point is 02:22:04 I don't know all the rules. I guess what I would like you to do is just stay inside and think, should it matter if it's a woman or if it's a man or if they're heterosexual or homosexual? She's filibustering hard. If you believe in what they say. That's my question. It all just went right down the toilet. I can't stand the ugly chick she's so ugly on the inside

Starting point is 02:22:32 and the outside one of them is clearly uglier she's like the bible says not to be gay like that's the big gotcha as if the bible's central focus is on not smoking pole this is America's central focus is on not smoking pole. This is America's heart.

Starting point is 02:22:47 This is a good, Iowan, broad-shouldered woman. All right? She's squat, she's sturdy, and she's firm in her beliefs. That bitch can milk a cow. She's got Amy and Buttigieg stickers on. The most uninformed voter ever. This is like someone not knowing Barack Obama is black. Like, how do you not know this? She's making a lot of good points.

Starting point is 02:23:18 I'm changing my vote. We did the fact check on the video, and he is, in fact, gay. Confirmed by his husband. we did the fact check on the video and he is in fact gay. Yeah. Confirmed by his husband. Husband. He had his dick in my ass last night. So I'm going to go. You know,

Starting point is 02:23:36 I haven't, I like to think that after he won the Iowa caucus, his husband couldn't walk. Well, I don't think he won the Iowa caucus, but did you see the clip of him? Like side smooching his husband? Joe Biden kisses his granddaughters with more passion than that.

Starting point is 02:23:52 Who wouldn't? Have you seen Joe Biden's granddaughter? I was saying that Pete needs to step up the gay and do some more open mouth kissing on the stage. Not that, you know, obviously what Biden's doing. I know what you were trying to say taylor but we've zeroed in on the a key part of this electoral cycle and that is joe biden's hot granddaughter yeah i mean she's a cutie first of all she's 21 22 at least she's legal so i don't want to taste joe biden's breath that way wait what's how do you taste joe bryant's breath on your tongue because he's

Starting point is 02:24:26 always smooching on her like just straight up oh yeah it's in his grand oh mouth kissing his granddaughter on stage tongue action on remember when ted cruz tried to kiss his daughter like in 2016 and she like turned away and made that disgusted face that's what a real relationship between a father and a daughter i i guessed like i read into that a ton back i do remember when that happened and i was like i i don't know what's true this is i invented all this on my own but i'm like i bet right now his relationship with his family's a little strained right this guy's running for president he probably travels constantly when he does have his wife and kid near him he probably uses them as props.

Starting point is 02:25:05 I'm not saying that's who he is as a dad, but that's who he was as a dad that month, right? He was completely focused on trying to be the next president. And his daughter was mad at him and, you know, rejected his affection. And I saw that and I didn't hold it against him. I'm like, yeah, the guy's trying to do a thing. I held it against her because she needs to get with the fucking program. She needs to fucking tongue his asshole if that's what it takes

Starting point is 02:25:27 to get elected. Well, she's a little kid and she's not going to be... Yeah, her tongue's perfect. Touche. Jesus Christ. That's actually pretty funny. I didn't know how old he thought he was. Did you remember that clip? Yeah, but so Mayor Pete

Starting point is 02:25:44 won Iowa and I wonder what that's going to... He did not win Iowa. Bernie won. In what situation does it... How do you define winning Iowa? The person with the most votes? Oh, so that would explain President Hillary. Yeah, because the rules are exactly the same in a national election and the Iowa caucus.

Starting point is 02:26:00 And a caucus. Actually, pretty similar, actually. You know, like each area takes... Why does Bernie have more votes and fewer delegates? It works a little bit like the Electoral College. Like, each area has a number of delegates they could give people,

Starting point is 02:26:14 and Bernie did well in these high-density areas, like the cities, but the proportion of, like, delegates per person are not the same in the cities as they are out in the country where pete did better much like the presidential election where a place like wyoming gets way more electoral votes per person and a place like california gets fewer which is

Starting point is 02:26:38 why hillary won the popular but lost the race pete lost the popular but won the most delegates i'm not i'm still not sure if they've even finished counting the votes on that yeah yeah that that thing is so shady that's well then we're gonna need a shady motherfucker to take on donald trump and uh my boy pete won pete would get absolutely obliterated i thought you were gonna say what fucked and I was ready for that. That's where he should have gone. You know what? I don't care about any of this anymore. Ruined that joke.

Starting point is 02:27:14 I'm done. No, yeah, he would. He would get absolutely slaughtered in the national election. Like the best chance for the Democratic Party is Bernie for sure. Like he's got the only true grassroots support. Like it's it's just crazy. And the fact that all of these little things come trickling out. Like, did you notice that when they released 62 percent of the votes?

Starting point is 02:27:36 First of all, they already had all the votes. They selectively leaked them that the big areas that were missing were all huge bernie areas like des moines and shit like they were all huge bernie areas and basically all it did was let the media run with a narrative that you know pete oh wow he's so great he's so good for days days and days i noticed no such thing i didn't i do not buy for a second that bernie lost that like the amount of shady shit is insane buy for a second that Bernie lost that. The amount of shady shit is insane. It's just crazy.

Starting point is 02:28:08 It's not ringing a bell, Taylor. The fact that he helped fund the app company. I see nothing wrong with that. No. We're using a new thing this election. It's called Trump voting.

Starting point is 02:28:24 People would be like, what the hell but yeah because it's pete people are like oh whatever so he's going nowhere international election you might be right um i actually do think that if there was a like a behind the scenes coalition conspiracy which doesn't mean fake conspiracy just means people are conspiring to like fake the um uh the results i don't think they'd pick the gay mayor as the guy that they backed to be biden if there is some like he's the favorite of the media like the media has moved on from biden and from warren because they're dropping so precipitously like pete is a total machination of the media like i'm not saying nobody votes are manufactured it

Starting point is 02:29:02 just seems like the way that they've been reported and the way they've been counted has been to skew things toward him it was close for sure but it's not as close as they're trying to say it is it and it's nonsense and all it's going to do is is spur on more donations for bernie sanders and pete's going nowhere in a national election he's just not he's fucked in the national you know who i think is going nowhere biden now it looks like that right now because he just got fourth. He's going to that granddaughter's bedroom tonight, I guarantee it. Look at this image here. Look at this.

Starting point is 02:29:31 If I told you that was Biden's wife and it was in black and white and you couldn't tell that she was like 17, she's like 20 I think. 19, she's 19. Legal, legal. Dude, he is a fucking creep. I've got like four different pictures of him smooching her he does seem a little creepy and i think he's done i think he's what did i do here we go

Starting point is 02:29:51 um i clicked on the wrong background it's not important but uh uh yeah he like i it shouldn't be a defining issue maybe it should be i don't know but the fact that there's like gigs of video of him smelling kids hair and massaging little girls and just all sorts of handsy shit and i saw the reporter that i respected say that he's just like that you know this is guy i'm talking about was maybe 60 years old and he's like when i first met him you know he's like i i'm from a like northeast family we're kind of only he think he's from a long line of pedophiles he used the word but that's how i took it and he's like we don't touch each other we're not that handsy we're kind of real standoffish and it was really off-putting to me but over time like i came to like it and

Starting point is 02:30:43 that's just that's how that's burden's way of work biden's way of working a crowd okay i don't know i can't get over how fucking creepy it is and he's kissing his his uh granddaughter on the lips there is an absolute look how terrible her hair is it is let's take a moment to mock his young granddaughter's hair for just a bit. First of all, that is a stringy, dandruff-filled mess. It looks like she's ill. It looks like she has some sort of old-timey plague. Look at it. Look at that hair.

Starting point is 02:31:18 Seriously, open the second image. You wouldn't fuck Joe Biden's granddaughter for a cabinet position. I'd comb in her hair to maybe give her some sort of cellular regrowth. Give her some body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give her some structure. I don't know. She needs some stem cells in there.

Starting point is 02:31:31 She has a run in her pantyhose, so she's clearly a slut. Joe put that there. He was at the agency before the debate. Because that's how pantyhose works. Now, this bottom picture of her, now that's a good picture. All right? Look how she looks at him. If I told you that was his wife, you'd be like'd be like oh wow she's so in love with him look how she looks at which

Starting point is 02:31:50 the bottom picture that chis linked here oh oh oh um biting her lip as he comes in for the kiss just staring staring fucking hot blue steel love into that old man's face he's been he's been after her for a long time you get you a girl like joe biden's granddaughter who looks at you like joe biden's granddaughter looks at him that's the kind of love you want in a relationship yeah fuck my granddaughters i'm a family man. Even Bill Clinton is like, now, Joe, that's a little butt. The narrative. Joe, you're getting real fucking ballsy

Starting point is 02:32:30 with this shit, man. Thumbs up, Joe. Fucking real recognized real, man. That was great. Oh, the narrative, right? So I haven't, I'm actually kind of out of touch with what Reddit's been up to lately.

Starting point is 02:32:45 I've been doing the whole car buying thing. But I haven't in touch with what the mainstream media is saying. And one, Buttigieg gave a victory speech that night. He gave another victory speech when like 71% of the vote came in. And I don't know, maybe a third. Did I say Biden? I meant Buttigieg. He's been giving victory speeches all day.

Starting point is 02:33:03 And I think that's fucking hilarious. And then the narrative I'm hearing about Biden is judge he's been giving victory speeches all day i think that's fucking hilarious um and then the narrative i'm hearing about biden is that he's run for president is it two times or three times now and he's never won a state not in all the times he's ever won he's never won a single presidential electoral primary caucus anything lost all of them and here he is coming in as like the presumptive favorite former vice president of the united states the guy that that everyone wanted to run what four years ago and uh and did lost the first lost yeah he's did you see that that really funny clip where they the guy who was like a mayor cheat uh fucking surrogate was doing the coin flip for the last delegate and he flipped the coin then

Starting point is 02:33:55 picked it up flipped it over and went oh it goes to pete like are you are you high dude like it's on camera and everybody watching was like yeah that's fine. That's okay. I don't see any trouble with that. Yeah, it's just, it's outrageous. Bernie is getting absolutely fucked. It's not even. I heard he got fucked in Iowa last night. That's why they changed the counting. So it was like 0.2% last time to Hillary you lost by.

Starting point is 02:34:22 It was something, some incredibly slim margin. So something happened. Absolutely changing votes and shit. The way that it works is, I don't know if we explained this on a show yet, but in a caucus, they go into a basketball court or an indoor soccer ring, I don't know,

Starting point is 02:34:37 field or whatever, and you stand in your place, and you stand in the Mayor Pete area, you stand in the Amy Klobuchar area, someone else, Biden, et cetera. And then they do a count. And the non-viable candidates, they leave that area and go to somebody else, right? So they're all like, come over here. We're the cool kids.

Starting point is 02:34:54 We love you so much. If you like Klobuchar, you should know that Biden has this in common with her and come join us. And then they do like a recount and a recount until eventually there's only viable big groups left and then they divide those every little area gets a certain amount of delegates and they split them up okay um apparently Sanders looked really good in the first count and then as things went on and on Hillary looked better and she won Iowa but it didn't tell the whole story. Like he maybe had more votes than her,

Starting point is 02:35:27 just fewer delegates because it can work out that way. He definitely had more votes in the first count, you know, when people just got to choose anyone they wanted. So this time they were going to release the results of maybe the first count, the third and the final. I probably have the details on that wrong, but they just wanted to give more transparency into how the night evolved.

Starting point is 02:35:47 And that complexity in the voting screwed everything up. Did you see the DNC got caught giving delegates to Deval Patrick that were supposed to go to Bernie? I saw all about that. Now, that was easily explained. What happened is... Yeah yeah they were trying to cheat

Starting point is 02:36:05 him there was well right because the big devol patrick supporters working behind the scenes no no it's it's people who want like a normal run-of-the-mill kind of neocon neolib style guy like pete or warren and they were filling out a spreadsheet and they literally copy and pasted one column off and that explained everyone and they just copy and pasted one column off. And that explained everyone. And they just had to shift it. And it was all correct. It just seems like it's just so much more likely than a secret behind the scenes. Deval Patrick conspiracy.

Starting point is 02:36:33 No, no, it's not Deval Patrick. See, like, it's really hard to look at things as though they're a genuine mistake when mistakes only ever happen in one direction. There's never an instance where it's like, oh, no, no oh no no against against bernie where i'm saying never have it has it been like wow bernie takes a hugely oh we accidentally gave him way more credit it's always against him and it's like i i'm seeing now like on social media and shit like the bernie bros are furious like they are not going to turn out against bernie saying yeah it's absolutely there's too many coincidences coincidences to chalk up to just incompetence instead of frankly malice i think like he's getting fucked out of it um i'm looking i'm out of new york times viewers something uh yeah that's so stupid how they do that now. Yeah, I saw it in the preview.

Starting point is 02:37:27 Can I look at the cached? Anyway. Bernie won two delegates in Polk County and they put one of the delegates in Warren's column. A plausible explanation is that the Iowa Democratic Party staff members accidentally copied the results of one column too far to the left in a spreadsheet for some pre-spring. Such errors inevitably occur on manual data entry,

Starting point is 02:37:57 but the Iowa Democratic Party does not appear to have enough checks to assure that it reports accurate results. Yeah, I accidentally ordered a little marijuana across the country. it had nothing to do with a conspiracy to get stoned iowa democratic released a waiver results results showing that deval patrick sweeping central des moines this was incorrect sanders votes has been reported as for patrick while elizabeth warren's tallies went to Tom Steyer. Yeah, he's the other one. Deval Patrick and Tom Steyer had these big booms

Starting point is 02:38:29 because they just put it one column off. It seems like best case scenario, they're incredibly bad at their jobs. And the most likely scenario is that they're literally trying to stack the deck against Bernie again. We saw this four years ago. The fact that they just did it last time

Starting point is 02:38:46 shows the gall that these people have to be like, ah, they won't notice. And you've got people like Cuomo declaring Buttigieg the winner. And it didn't stand, just so the listeners understand. If you believe the line, they copy-pasted it one line over,

Starting point is 02:39:05 they caught the mistake, and then they reversed it. Yeah, there's tons of examples of things like that. They only take things back when they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, you did it wrong. And it's like, well, we can't be looking over their shoulder. They're the ones who are supposed to be counting the votes. There's not...

Starting point is 02:39:22 The wife of the CEO of that app company is a Pete Buttigieg surrogate. Like, he works on his campaign. Like, the amount of connection there. And it's like, why did they need this app? It's addition. Like, you don't need an app

Starting point is 02:39:39 for that shit. It was just adding an extra layer. And I really think that once it kind of started coming through that Bernie was kicking ass and winning in Iowa, that's when, oh, shit, the app. Oh, that app that the other guy is really closely tied to just so happened to catastrophically collapse in a way that really only benefits one person. So the reason they changed the way that they counted it was because Bernie Sanders demanded it. He said that he demanded they use an app built by... Well, he didn't demand the specifics of how they implemented it, but he said,

Starting point is 02:40:08 hey, look, last year, my Iowa results were much better than they were painted as. It looked like Hillary was the clear winner, and the truth is I got more votes than her. I don't know if he eventually got more delegates or not, but they painted her as winning Iowa. If they

Starting point is 02:40:24 showed the full thing and sanders had said like let's say it happened like this year where he got fewer delegates but more votes and then he goes into new hampshire and gets more votes they might have looked at sanders differently than to say they both won one so he asked for more detail on the reporting how things went on each wave of realignment and they were unable to perform on that it's just there are so many coincidences that you have to accept that all go in the same direction for to think that pete won this it requires some mental gymnastics yeah like it and it's it's just crazy to me that like mainstream media people are like

Starting point is 02:41:05 you're a fucking conspiracy theorist and it's like yeah this story happened almost the same way four years ago and we watched bernie get fucked in real time i'll say this back up with a black eye and was like actually i'm fine with hillary it's really tight that she's running and it's interesting to it's interesting to compare how the DNC handles an outsider coming in and doing well who doesn't really support their core beliefs compared to how the RNC does. You say whatever you want about the Republicans. Most of it's true. All politicians in general seem like shitheads. like shit, shit, shit heads. But when Trump came in there and beat all, every single one of their, their candidates, they swallowed it. They took it. They, they, they put his name on the,

Starting point is 02:41:51 on the piece of paper and they said, okay, you went fair and square. They didn't try to rig the election. They didn't try to lie on him. Fox news never said, oh, it looks like, oh, and actually we've got some votes coming in for this guy or that guy. Is Trump on his way out even though trump's got 70 of the vote the one thing um i felt like it was a little rigged against trump and he was able to win anyway and yeah he fought the battle but there was nothing criminal and some of this looks criminal true i agree with all that the one i just wanted to point out was florida the first winner-take-all state?

Starting point is 02:42:25 Or Florida became a winner-take-all state. And to me, it looked like it was lined up to be either Jeb Bush or Rubio Slam Dunk. You know, one of those guys were going to win Florida. Yeah, Rubio's from there. Where did Jeb Bush, where was he governor? He was a governor of Florida. Okay, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 02:42:41 So it was like, it was for those guys. Those guys were supposed to win. They're nearly home state. And that you know winner take all was going to give them this insurmountable lead and it just seemed a little stacked in the deck of some of these incumbents and certainly not in favor of trump trump won florida trump won florida got all the delegates and you know if if they tried to rig it they didn't rig it enough. And like you said, they lined up behind him. Yeah, I don't know. We'll see what happens.

Starting point is 02:43:10 Bernie's definitely in the lead. The fact that Biden is out means that Bernie is pretty much a guy, I think, at this point. What you see is Biden, Klobuchar, and Pete shared, what, 56% of the vote, like between the three of them, because they're all like kind of the more... I don't find the others to be viable candidates. I could be wrong

Starting point is 02:43:32 about that, but that's just my feeling. Where were you headed with that? Bernie and Warren, the more progressive ones, were sharing the rest. And so those other... Warren is becoming non-viable very quickly. And that means that like bernie is the front runner at this point he's going if if they don't put him up the thames are fucked like

Starting point is 02:43:53 there's no chance that pete wins like the democrats pretty much entirely depend on needing the minority vote you know and blacks and hispanics are quite a bit more religious than white people on average. I have a solution. What? Mayor Pete, Cory Booker, Kamala Harris, VP. No, that's not enough. I thought it might be. People were really excited to vote for Obama, like the black and Hispanic minority communities. But there is no way that blacks in the South are going to be turning out super stoked for a gay guy.

Starting point is 02:44:29 Like in numbers. Like it's just. Might still be a good strategy. Look, I'm not saying they'll get Obama-like support for having Cory Booker. You better marry a woman. Yeah, if he marries a woman. I've seen the lights. He could be a woman.

Starting point is 02:44:45 Why didn't no one tell me about pussy? No, you can't just VP a woman because everybody knows he's not fucking her. I'd like to introduce my vice presidential candidate, Bill Clinton. Now, Bill has shown me the light. Yeah, no, I... Look, I worry about conspiracy as much as anyone else. I've been sort of playing biased and having fun with Chisholm. Thanks for having so much fun.

Starting point is 02:45:10 But yeah, we'll see. There is a piece of me that projects it like this. If Pete won because he focused on the places where he can win, the places that aren't the cities that Bernie's going to dominate in and got more delegates with fewer votes and played the game smart, just like Trump played the game smart in 2016. Maybe that's not a bad sign. But I could just be painting it with the most favorable light. Yeah, and that's fair. Everybody looks at the candidate they prefer the most favorable light but yeah they're it's just kind

Starting point is 02:45:45 of funny seeing like oh wow the democrats would rather lose than run bernie sanders like they there is a zero percent chance that pete buddha judge is president like they're none he's not going to win like he's going to get slaughtered fucking Reagan style against Trump. Whereas Bernie, I genuinely think Bernie would win. His grassroots support is pretty much matched only by Trump's. By people who turn out and are really stoked

Starting point is 02:46:15 for him. So yeah, they're shooting themselves in the foot by not giving Bernie the fair shot he deserves. There's only two candidates out there that are actually loved by their supporters. I just don't feel like anybody's like oh trump and clovis i mean burden trump and trump and sanders yeah like trump supporters are fucking they're rabid they're rabid they love that i mean they show up because he is a celebrity literally and bernie's bernie's followers are like look you name a thing that that anyone has ever an opinion that anyone's ever

Starting point is 02:46:45 held that was wrong and there's a video of bernie sanders dispute like like going speaking out against it whether it was popular to do so or not you know you go back to that 86 1986 he's up there like gay pride in vermont big banner behind him that was the height of the aids epidemic and he's got a big gay pride huge issue right gay pride versus like actually sucking dick just because i don't personally suck up does not mean i'm not in favor of it and i resent my opponent for challenging me to a dick sucking contest please put down the kielbasa

Starting point is 02:47:23 uh yeah we'll see how it plays You're just not attractive to me I want to cover politics more And not use it all up after the first caucus But We'll see how it goes Obviously Sanders is going to win the next one I don't know if Pete can even get second

Starting point is 02:47:40 What's after New Hampshire? What's the one after that? Nevada caucus I think South Carolina is the first one that? Nevada caucus, I think. South Carolina is the first one that matters, in my opinion. When South Carolina happens, we know something. South Carolina, I think, is the third one. And then comes Super Tuesday, which will matter a lot.

Starting point is 02:47:56 You want to see a lady cop going ham on a guy? Yes. I want to go back to Kings. Or Queens. Hold on. Pete Buttigieg is like, yeah! I want to go back to Kings. Or Queens. Pete Buttigieg is like, yeah! What is this? Oh, that just started right off the bat.

Starting point is 02:48:16 Are we watching this together? Yeah, why not? Oh wait, let me rewind. 3, 2, 1, play. Can I look around and make sure? Look. All right there don't move okay so this is a cop that's talking to him yeah his hands are not out in the open i think his beard looks drawn on wait why is his hand down by his knee oh my god, lady. I think this is going to go poorly. Roll down the window.

Starting point is 02:48:50 Did you say how this goes already? Roll down the window. Roll down the window. Shots fired. Shots fired. oh shots fired shots fired yes bitch you shoot the assholes go off queen put it in him oh my you think she got him

Starting point is 02:49:19 with the cars I'm like, she's got a Glock, right? There's 17 rounds, I hope. Yep. I didn't hear all 17 go. I heard him scream around eight. Dude, when he shot her,

Starting point is 02:49:37 I jumped back. Oh, my God. What a piece of shit. I'm glad he's dead. He's just like, bam bam like right in her face she's calm as fuck shots fired code 15 and then just dumped every round at her awesome i see now did i miss this police activity watermark when i said is this a cop oh it's in the red a little i didn't hear you say is this

Starting point is 02:50:05 shots fired just letting you know honey i'll be home for dinner so i'm gonna watch this again i went too far back that guy's gotta be toast right roll down if she hit a third of those shots he's dead i it's he's gotta be shooting high on him to write like the resale value of that Honda has just the ugly. I'm going to do it this time counting. Shots fired. Shots fired. 15 shots if I counted that right. Yeah, that bitch did. No way he's making it out of that.

Starting point is 02:51:00 Fuck him. Yes. Oh my God. He looked like he was on something in a while like you can like see one side of the other's argument like oh that cop really shot too quickly or you know heck that guy how was he to know that was a cop or you know like like this is so clear-. That guy needed killing. Yeah. Yeah, what an asshole.

Starting point is 02:51:29 Trying to kill someone because you're high on prescription pills or something. I don't know. Dude. Yeah, that's crazy. That was a good video. Kyle, do you have any videos of urban people being hit by cars? Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 02:51:44 I showed it on PKN, right? There's a folder for it. Yeah, that's the one. Yeah, yeah. The lady tries to go hand to hand on the car. She's like, you hit Shaniqua. I'm going to whoop your car's ass. And she starts throwing arm punches, and he just cuts the wheel to the left and backs up, slams her.

Starting point is 02:52:01 Ah, yeah. I see the amount of confidence you have to have to try and fist fight a Buick it's not gonna go well that's what you're looking for idiocy fucking moron yeah holy smokes go ahead you know no no you had something no i'm still in i'm i'm recovering emotionally from that video we just watched i took a took a little bit out of the emotional bank account so did you see that twitch uh partner that that girl and uh all of those um that really racist stuff that she was saying on Discord got leaked. Who? I have no idea.

Starting point is 02:52:48 Jenna something. Marbles? No, not Jenna Marbles. She's a great person. Here, I got a link. It's the only famous Jenna I know. I didn't say she was really famous. I just said she was hot. Yeah, she's a cutie patootie oh good i can talk shit about her because

Starting point is 02:53:06 she's not a twitch person anymore no not anymore twitch partner jenna loses partnership after discord logs show her repeatedly using racial and sexual slurs you know you do like control f and like search every time a word's been uttered in a whole Discord. The N-word is like 700 results. Well, what was the context? Oh, this is great. I was unpartnered with Twitch today. I understand and respect their decision, and I'm happy they're standing against hate.

Starting point is 02:53:42 It brings me joy that I am in a community that will protect the oppressed. Bitch! You're the oppressor! She added, if you allow me, I would regain your trust and the communities with my future actions. She's like, I'm glad Twitch takes a stand against me.

Starting point is 02:54:00 Been like, everybody at Twitch is a fucking boop! Wow. I want to know a little more about what she said oh oh were they was she trying to be funny no no she was being very hateful and awful and there were there were no real jokes yeah she, she's not dodging this at all. She has a really long statement, too. Nice ass. Yeah, I'm not reading that bitch's... I mean, that one, you scroll down...

Starting point is 02:54:35 With the brown thing? Yeah. She's got a juicy caboose. That's... Very straight nose, too. Shades of Kyle's genetics in this one two percent black no point two no point point oh two percent point oh two i don't know uh damn so her name is jenna twitch i'm gonna see what's your favorite dessert mine she's naked anywhere does cake mean more than I think it means?

Starting point is 02:55:07 Nope. Yeah, she looks like her favorite dessert is cake to me. I think that's my takeaway. Cake means money, right? Cake means ass. Oh. To me. Yeah, if you go to her Twitter, she does also that weird shit that you do with your hands,

Starting point is 02:55:22 Kyle. Really? She got one of these? Yeah. Man, you and this girl are a match made in heaven. You even have the same favorite word. Kyle's allowed to say it because of his...

Starting point is 02:55:35 Angolia? Angolese heritage? Congolese. Angolese and Angola. Wait, what was the other one? Angola? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me find the... Yes, Angolese.

Starting point is 02:55:49 Angolese, yes. That's where he gets his permission from. This is correct. I'm looking for... Who are you to tell me that I cannot say this word? He needs to talk for an hour. I got a couple topics here. I guess Wings finally owns his

Starting point is 02:56:06 mom's house outright. Good for him. What? That's awesome. What's the source on that? Wings. Probably Wings. Yeah, this is Fox. No, no, I'm just saying. She has linked it. I was just

Starting point is 02:56:22 about to. So this is the log from her Discord. This is control effing certain words. Now, I compared this to Taylor's Discord. It pales in comparison. But he's got an excuse. And he's friends with me, so I gave him a pass. Exactly.

Starting point is 02:56:39 It's all ironic. KKK, 261 results. Who talks about the KKK that much? The N word. 767. The word faggot. 699. So close to the old 700. I don't know if I want to show these words.

Starting point is 02:56:58 That's funny. Yeah, you're right. You probably shouldn't. YouTube's kind of bitch made now. I get... She just randomly says, I got ditched by a Jewish faggot boy. Okay. Get this gal on the show. Ooh, I'd like that.

Starting point is 02:57:16 Yeah, that'd be great. That actually would be pretty funny. We got Arabist favorite race. When you're ranking all the people that you think are awful who's at the top that guy is not only jewish but also a faggot you say okay why is that you know getting playing it straight trying to do like she said here's her attacking a uh another streamer who um i guess jenna thought might be a quote unquote tranny. She says

Starting point is 02:57:45 is she bringing something to the platform besides her curveless body? How can she be comfortable with that much makeup? Is it a tranny? Is it a tranny? Here's her attacking another partnered female streamer for looking like

Starting point is 02:58:02 a tranny. She says every acne prone stoner fag wears them. And I guess nobody replied to that because it was so horrific even in her own discord. And she just goes, can your fags not hear me? Man.

Starting point is 02:58:19 Or get kicked out, retards. I'm not on stream and I have no TOS to follow in here. As if she's winning people over. Yeah. Why the fuck are my stalkers brown? Not even being racist. See?

Starting point is 02:58:34 Exactly. See, she wasn't even being racist. She says so. Oh my God. What's that, mom? Jenna's racist to her kind? I'm sorry, to our kind. I can't talk to her anymore.

Starting point is 02:58:49 I was a fact racist. Shut the fuck up, snowflake. She responded to someone saying says the kid who sits in his basement crying that people are discriminating against him all day long. You're also half retarded because you can't understand a troll. Get out of here,

Starting point is 02:59:03 fucking autist. Jenna! Cool gal along you're also half retarded because you can't understand a troll get out of here fucking autists jenna cool gal of the week am i right she might be edging out the the lady the homophobic lady from later on the ignorant mount rushmore of the week for sure this just side by side championing the most disgusting opinions in the world this is first just calling people snowflakes and faggots and there's no black people in my server she says i have some ripe underage photos blue had me take them wait what wait what the i sold them to him at 16 he told me all right i got into the pedophilia part of the imager link and imager link and i'm and they're both creepy as fuck wow i'm on the same section you know she's losing me with the pedophile stuff she wrote one iq monkey this is why there's no black people in

Starting point is 03:00:00 my server something along i think those two are tied together now she's talking about mexicans and she she follows that up with maybe trump is right where is the wall no they haven't paid yet oh my god i'm a closet racist mean jew oh is she jewish i i do not think there's no telling that she's very blonde she said at someone in her own fucking discord chat, at Hema, literally you're a trans bitch. Man, she's mean.

Starting point is 03:00:33 You can't call me a thot when you're willing to fuck tranny-looking hookers. Dude, this is from 2017. Here's a good one. This was just last year, about this time I hope no one finds that shit one day And is like, Jenna's racist

Starting point is 03:00:52 That is so funny Oh my god She called someone a kike here Imagine being taught growing up that kike Is the most offensive word someone can say Ha ha ha ha ha ha Nobody's taught that kike is the most offensive word someone can say. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. How old do you think she is? Nobody's taught that.

Starting point is 03:01:07 It's the N-word. Oh, just the perfect age. Well, what I'm saying is if she's 20 and some of these things are from 2016, people can, like, that's a period of rapid change. I don't know. I'm trying to paint a nice light on this girl. No, you're right. It's obviously, like like not as

Starting point is 03:01:26 here she here she likes this this is just modern day uh xbox shit posting right yeah like no this is horrific this is okay you're right she posted a video clip of some um some attractive black girl on twitch and she goes black female playing basketball kfc grape i don't even know what that means yeah grape well they were eight soda according to some people this is like when i think i have a hilarious meme i want to share with my wife but it requires like understanding of the last five years of meme evolution. Yeah. That's the worst. Jesus Christ. Well, I'm glad that she got... Actually, hang on. How do we feel about this?

Starting point is 03:02:10 Because this was all going on behind the scenes in private. First they came for the women making hilarious jokes in Discord, and then they came for Woody, and then for me. Yeah. So, I think, honestly, I feel like you're the cool gal of the week. i feel like you shouldn't lose your

Starting point is 03:02:26 job because of things you say in private of course not yeah it should be about your public sort of like doings and and the things you the way you conduct yourself outside she's a young girl too what do you hit the fucking nail on the head with the she's a young girl and this was four years ago that may not seem like a lot young girl, and this was four years ago. That may not seem like a lot of time, but that's a lot of time. Yeah, for me, four years ago is really relevant, right? But if hypothetically she's 19 and we're looking at what she said at 15, I don't know how old she is.

Starting point is 03:02:55 Woody's gamer tag defends horrific racist Jenna. Yeah, I mean, I see that angle of it, too. No, it's going to be three cool guys talk about racist girl's ass. It's a pretty nice ass. Very attractive young lady. Could you put up with this kind of horrific personality if she's attractive, Taylor? You can do better. Oh, I think I could put up with this horrific personality.

Starting point is 03:03:22 I would seek it out. Yeah. She loves going to the meetings with me i would there's aren't aa meetings i would hate i would well it's an acronym but not a no yeah the wait arian something okay alcoholic is what i say i was trying to draw the line but yeah that uh she seems pretty mad at a lot of types of people she seems really like cruel right she's she's she's like a mean girl from that lindsey lohan movie she seems like real shitty sometimes i struggle with shit in text right i don't know if it may be i'm just socially idiotic but like sarcasm in text a lot of shit in text sometimes i'm like well you know i'm just not going to put much emphasis on that it seems awful but it could have been delivered with a smile that i'm not

Starting point is 03:04:16 catching yeah i mean it could be possible she's just being like edgy get trying to get a laugh which is very different than actually being like right if she's been in like edgy get trying to get a laugh which is very different than actually being like right if she's been in this chat with people for the last four years she might you know be making a reference or a reply or something that we don't get the context but also a lot of this didn't seem jokey a lot of this is like guess what i hate yeah a lot of it's really nasty yeah yeah yeah it's it was the interpersonal stuff like a lot of it's really nasty yeah yeah yeah it's it was the interpersonal stuff like a lot of it's just awful like when she was making fun of someone who wasn't there saying she was a tranny or curbless or whatever oh it's hard to spin that but when she said something mean to someone who

Starting point is 03:04:56 was in the chat like well that might not be mean girl that might yeah she's calling them and she's calling like horrific things um let me do the last ad, and then I want to talk about a Taylor topic. Okay. Is your Wi-Fi feeling old? It's just a topic in my mind. Is your Wi-Fi feeling old? Does it buffer when streaming? Does connecting new devices slow it down?

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Starting point is 03:06:17 That's netgear.com forward slash best Wi-Fi. Link down below. We thank Netgear for sponsoring this episode of PKA. Thanks, Netgear. Yeah, you got to get a new Wi-Fi router every couple years. Keep up. You've been following Taylor on Twitter at all? You keep up with him on there? My Twitter is right only. Man's diabolical. Really?

Starting point is 03:06:38 Yes. We need to pull up his Twitter for this segment. Let's see. Twitter slash Mercaderka. Is it just M-U-R-K-A-D? Is there any H's or other craziness? Yeah, it ends in an H. Here's his most recent tweet. This was yesterday. 2022

Starting point is 03:07:07 President Pete Buttigieg will make his first appearance in Saudi Arabia and is promptly thrown off a tall building. That's funny. If I were a Bernie bro, I'd be fucking livid right now. Fuck Pete Buttigieg.

Starting point is 03:07:29 That guy is absolutely a shill for elite billionaires. You got to be drunk on MSM media to think this guy is a viable candidate. These are not the bad ones. I need to open up. So we're looking at your Twitter, Taylor. I'm now six weeks into the boys not having an accident in the house. Oh, that's great. Pretty good.

Starting point is 03:07:51 Pretty solid. I hear the boys and I just instantly assume we're talking about your testicles. I haven't peed in the house for over six weeks. Haven't had an accident. The first few were kind of political. Go make out with your grandchild again, you fucking weirdo. Funny enough, that was directed at Hutch, not Joe Biden. Nope, nope, that was pretty much a... Kind of fell flat, because Hutch was very confused.

Starting point is 03:08:18 And then, I'm trying to find the part where you just... You just go full ham on Hutch. Did those go away? Oh, those are gone. Oh, did you get into an online argument with Hutch? No. No. That never happens, dude. When you're the best of friends. We were talking about the same Pete

Starting point is 03:08:39 stuff we were talking about earlier. Where I am, and even when I'm proven wrong, I will never back down you know my favorite my favorite tweet from you retard idiot i will not back down there's one part where he's telling how she's like he's like how about how about you bring up the time that you were wrong about russian collusion and the time you were wrong about this and the wrong and the time you were wrong about that you fucking loser it's just it's just going off what you called him some horrible things we well we go

Starting point is 03:09:11 back and forth and literally like the way it always goes is in the dms later we're like you know i don't actually hate you man he was like yeah we we had a little little dm chat and yeah we don't actually dislike each other but we got we got to do it over the the pete thing like i what was hutch's position that he he isn't as i mean he likes burning and so like i think that's his preferred candidate of choice but not nearly as convinced on like the the scam i think that kind of k Kyle and I are on the same page with where it's like, yeah, I don't believe for a second that Pete genuinely won Iowa.

Starting point is 03:09:50 Like I, I think that the fix is in and that they, they totally fucked over Bernie and he's not as convinced of that, you know? So it may, I mean, you know, fair enough,

Starting point is 03:10:00 I guess, but I, I am so convinced. No. What'd you call? a neocon? No. What did you call him? Oh, it was an N-word, but it wasn't that one. That's right. Probably not that other one either.

Starting point is 03:10:12 I was just getting linked to your Twitter reply, and I was just like, are these DMs? So everyone's seeing this. Jesus. Being a retard on Twitter is a lot of fun man when you have no convictions

Starting point is 03:10:28 and just say dumb shit yeah he kept trying to challenge you to a debate it's like he's like what are your plans for today and I imagine you're like, work?

Starting point is 03:10:46 Well, I plan to be a cunt on Twitter a little more. Thank you very much. I'm going to wrap up about two more hours of being a piece of shit than I'm going to have to work. Well, I'm going to not read anything and have very strong opinions. How do you feel about that? Yeah, that's funny. You've been sipping that Red Bull for this whole show.

Starting point is 03:11:08 How are you possibly making that 12-ounce or less? I got a few. Taylor, you just... I always guzzle mine in like two drinks trying to get that max surge. I'm looking at your workout routine, Taylor. Yeah. That's a lot of things. Yeah, I really like it.

Starting point is 03:11:24 It keeps me busy for it's like probably like 90 minutes a session or so and i mix it up often because i don't know if you're the same way woody but i get i'll feel like i'm in a rut if i haven't changed anything for like three four or five weeks and it's like oh this is so predictable and boring on the opposite i feel like i get better and better at those things which makes me feel good about the effort I'm putting into it. I keep the core stuff, you know, like bench, squat, overhead press, bent over rows, that kind of thing. But all the accessory lifts, like I try and branch out. Usually, I'll literally just go and look at what Athlete X recommends.

Starting point is 03:12:00 Right. Five great shoulder exercises. I'll grab two of these. Yeah. And I'll look at that guy and be like well he he certainly knows shoulders go ahead i've been watching that um that guy uh more plates more dates or something like that and he does this break that you've never seen this guy he's roided out of his mind great his capped delts have capped delts and what he does he breaks down different actors in their like most beefy performances like like um hugh jackman as wolverine is one of the best examples

Starting point is 03:12:32 he shows him from wolverine one to like the last and he's and he breaks down what what steroids he thinks the actor is on based on like how dry they look um what's the name of this guy's channel more plates more dates fuck this sounds awesome it's really fun alpha and and like like uh i wish like how dry they look. What's the name of this guy's channel? More Plates, More Dates. Fuck. It sounds awesome. It's really fun. It sounds alpha. And like, I wish he did one on Gerard Butler for 300. He did one on, what's his name?

Starting point is 03:12:53 Jesus Christ. This guy's short. Oh, yeah. I told you. Oh, my God. I told you. Dude, what's happening here? This is a man shooting 600 cc's a test a week.

Starting point is 03:13:05 I want it to happen to me. This is outrageous. He's incredible. Yeah. It's honestly unattractive. I find that to be too much. No, that guy. It's too much.

Starting point is 03:13:20 Come on. His delts are too developed. No. Is he also too rich? You know, is there such a thing? Too much fun. What's that mean? It's like too much money. There's no such thing. No, his delts are enormous.

Starting point is 03:13:36 He cannot wear a normal shirt. I think he has a great shirt on in that picture. I don't think he's wearing a shirt in that picture. He's a pink tank top. That's just his skin. If I look like that, I wouldn't own any shirts. Yeah, that guy.

Starting point is 03:13:54 Good for him. Hell yeah. Taylor's not even joking. He wants to be like Mac. Like Mac's dream body. I just want to walk down the hallway and have people leap out of the way because I'm just barreling out. That's what I want. He's talking to a therapist and he's like,

Starting point is 03:14:08 if people would move because I was, they'd be like, who's this monster barreling towards me? You're not that man anymore, Mac. Don't you think I know that? Did Mac take a step back body-wise? No, this is when he went from fat to at least not fat

Starting point is 03:14:24 before he got ripped. He looks, in that dancing video that he does in that episode, unbelievable. So fucking ripped. Very low body fat. I hope there's a video of him. There's not, but there totally should be. But these videos are really good.

Starting point is 03:14:43 He breaks down several celebrities' body transformations. That Indian actor who's in The Immortals, are you familiar with this guy? He just went through a big body transformation. Yes. Yeah, the guy from Silicon Valley. Yeah, he breaks that down. He's like, clearly, this is like, I don't know.

Starting point is 03:14:56 He said windstraw or something. He was talking about how dry he looked, which is when you're not maintaining a lot of water weight like like and and apparently that's one or two specific kinds of steroids in particular and he's like i mean it makes no sense for someone to use one of the most neurotoxic steroids in the world just to get in shape for a role but it is marvel and that's what i think he did because they show like before and after and it's a very soft-bodied man and this guy admits to being a steroid user not the indian guy oh our presenter definitely

Starting point is 03:15:33 does yeah because because he's clearly so he knows natural jail sonnen doesn't uh doesn't go into this kind of detail that i hope he does as you're describing it. But he does claim to have this same power, which is interesting. He's like, I can look at a guy's, I think there were three things, traps, delts, and nipples. And he's like, I can look at those things. I can tell you what he's on.

Starting point is 03:15:57 I can tell you this. And he's a subject matter expert on the impact of these. Yeah, a lot of times their traps don't develop at the same rate as their shoulders and other parts of their bodies do. Like you see that in Hugh Jackman. Okay. Hugh Jacked Man by the end. And he breaks it down.

Starting point is 03:16:16 He's like, all right. I don't know the Wolverine movie's names, but he's like, this is Wolverine 7. All right. He's five years older, but he's undeniably more ripped look at the vascular like nature of his arms look at his head like like he should be he should have a much harder time maintaining any muscle and yet he's gained a good five six pounds of muscle in the interim between this movie and the last movie with the trap thing do you mean like like that steroid trap thing where... It depends

Starting point is 03:16:46 on the drug. Different steroids do different things, but in the case of Hugh Jackman, I think what he was pointing out was that Hugh Jackman does not have a naturally muscular physique. He doesn't naturally put on a lot of muscle. He's a lean kind of guy. He doesn't have the kind

Starting point is 03:17:02 of... What do they call it? There's like mesomorphs and endomorphs. He doesn't have the kind of, what do they call it? There's like mesomorphs and endomorphs. He doesn't have that composite. Yeah, he doesn't have the correct composition to build and hold large amounts of mass. And yet, specific parts of his body are suddenly just very big. His shoulders, his chest get huge. I much prefer the label endomorph to fat. I always thought that about hugh jackman like

Starting point is 03:17:27 especially in the early roles like wolverine one whatever that's called he's a regular guy people were acting like he was jack like he was born to be wolverine he's and i i didn't see him as that amazing and it was like i was in crazy hell yeah he's not in the later ones you could see it and i i'd say that you're undeniably in better shape right now than he than hugh jackman not in the later ones you could see it and i i'd say that you're undeniably in better shape right now than he than hugh jackman was in the first wolverine movie i think you need to go back and look his arms look smaller than mine like he is not in shape at all i think that i am benefiting from a good camera angle to catch me from here up not bad camera angle and lighting?

Starting point is 03:18:05 Go straight on. There's no big nose at this angle. You know who got accused of it, and I'm pretty sure it was right, because of the trap thing, was Tom Hardy when he played Bane. He breaks down Tom Hardy as well. Oh, yeah. Like his arms,

Starting point is 03:18:21 he's fit. He looks good. He's like thick and big, but his traps are twice the size. This is actually an article of Hugh Jackman talking about how he was struggling with the way he looked in the first Wolverine movie. Taylor, I have a question for you. Oh, I'm sorry. You can see he's average. Before PKN and before the Sundayay hangout your arms looked fucking amazing did you lift right before both of those or is that just how your arms look

Starting point is 03:18:53 no actually i lifted after that hangout uh and i didn't so they got even bigger thursday and uh sunday are usually my rest days. Doing this show, I take it off. No, Monday. Monday was the PKN. Oh, you're right. No, actually, I worked out after that. Yeah, it was Monday.

Starting point is 03:19:15 I went down and worked out. Taylor, I'd fuck you. I'm just saying. But you're not, just like you were saying, you're not seeing all the nonsense. All this absolute trash that's piled up. He has a long sleeve shirt on right now, but listeners,

Starting point is 03:19:34 but I'm telling you, I'm seeing good chest and arm and shoulder gains. Cause I've been very, very consistent. I'm only down half a pound from this time last week, which not as fast as I would want, but still moving in the right direction. So I really just got to, you know,

Starting point is 03:19:48 not lose the, lose the faith and keep it going because I, you know, this is the time of year to lose weight. You know, you're prepping, you have the, the,

Starting point is 03:19:57 you know, you have preseason on the horizon where it's like, do I want to look like this at the pool? No, I'd be embarrassed. I want to look like this at the pool? No, I'd be embarrassed. I want to look fit at the pool. And so I gotta do that. So, yeah. Well, I appreciate it. What do you think? You want women to be terrified

Starting point is 03:20:14 when they see you in a parking garage late at night. I want them to think I'm a potential threat. No, no, no. I want them to know that I'm a potential threat any dude's a potential threat to a girl that's my cardio

Starting point is 03:20:31 did you see that article did you see the article where they measured punch strength from a whole bunch of males from every like average men, average women the men have like 165% more punching power

Starting point is 03:20:45 and the weakest man was stronger than the strongest woman oh well i mean like that's kind of common sense i think i'll grab it i thought there might have been a little hard on twitter on twitter right now by the way on this whole bernie thing oh really yeah he's using some very he's using some double speak colorful language to not say we fucked up trolled the biden people yeah uh i think it was seth myers he has a late night show i might have his name wrong but um he showed jake tapper going at the caucuses from like person to person and uh it was fucking hilarious because jake tapper's sassy as hell he goes to the biden area and there's like five of them and he's like ah you guys aren't doing well.

Starting point is 03:21:27 And they're like, yeah, yeah, you know, we just need a few more, we're going to get viable. And he's like, this year? Yeah. It's like, because you know your guy is like creeping up on 80, right? Yeah. That's not all he's creeping up on. Look at him.

Starting point is 03:21:44 Bela Lugosi style coming up behind a preschooler. That's not true.'s creeping up on look at him bella legosi style coming up behind a preschooler ah that's not true they're not old enough to vote they wouldn't be there stronger than the most powerful woman that's not really that surprising though like women are small yeah i i don't know excuse me because there's a a particular woman I have in mind, right? Like, imagine an urban fight where they pull each other's hair and they're both big and strong women. What's an urban fight?

Starting point is 03:22:17 Indescribable. The kind of videos you link. Yeah. Let me ask you a question. What would Jenna refer to as? Okay. We're on the same page those women look guy strong sometimes or almost right like we're talking michelle obama style ripped no that's a man no

Starting point is 03:22:35 i can't think of any celebrities who look like these women i'm having fun watching you think of the words oh wait wait not that not that wait does yolk mean something i don't i can't yeah you really got to put the racist pieces together to figure out why you shouldn't call a black woman yoked i knew it immediately i'm still don't get it we're on the same racism wavelength it's so bright so bright right it's something to do with sunlight oh no that's me that's me doing a fake nazi salute oh adding on to the the the all right so is the what else i can't get yoked past egg related things wrong path

Starting point is 03:23:26 is it at all egg related terribly wrong you're going to need a thesaurus for this one a yoke is what you wear on your shoulders to carry buckets of you know something I didn't know that it was a deep cut slave reference ah okay um in any case

Starting point is 03:23:48 you can imagine heavy set women that's a man who's got wrestling right there you can imagine some heavy set women in kind of a grappling match in an urban area i think they've got guy strength in some cases i suspect a large amount of miscegenation in Woody's heritage. Large amounts of miscegenation. I tell you what. I've been watching so much King of the Hill, it's like starting to creep into my psyche.

Starting point is 03:24:18 Where like, my girlfriend will be like, Taylor, dinner's ready. And I'll be like, bring it over here, I'll tell you what. This is your Japanese brother. This is your Japanese brother. This is your Japanese brother. I'm going to call him G.H. Good hack. I love that.

Starting point is 03:24:35 I have a son named Hank. And then Bobby starts calling him B.H. Bad Hank. Bad Hank and Good Hank. I had to make my own grandson because you're an area reader. Remember when Bobby got gout and Hank thought it was turf toe? He was so proud.

Starting point is 03:24:58 Oh, God. Bobby, you're becoming a man. He's just because he's going to a New York deli and eating organ meats every day oh god I fucking love King of the Hill I'm watching an episode I've got an urban fight video if you want Woody

Starting point is 03:25:14 I'm on your why males pack a powerful punch and I expected to hear something about like muscle development or technique follow through hitting on the through the target probably bone structure uh yeah actually you're closer to what the thing it evolves slowly uh this is a dramatic example of sexual dimorphism that's consistent with males becoming more specialized in fighting and males fighting in a particular way, which is throwing punches.

Starting point is 03:25:46 They didn't find the same magnitude of difference in overhead pulling strength, lending additional weight to the conclusion that males' upper body strength is specialized for punching rather than throwing weapons. In my head, punching and throwing weapons is similar. I feel like that's a similar movement,

Starting point is 03:26:02 but what do I know? That's really interesting. It's both a forward shoulder rotation. I don't know. Right, there's an upper body rotation and a punch. Yeah, I guess it is kind of similar. There's that twisting, twerking thing with the punch

Starting point is 03:26:19 and whereas it's sort of a full body... I don't know. I'm not a biomechanist. Nor is that a thing. If that were a thing body i don't know i'm not a biomechanist nor is that a thing i'm not a made-up thing i just came up yeah or maybe i am technically as far as i might be the only one i'm looking for this waffle house fight video so fucking hard. Trying to find just one Waffle House fight video? Amongst a sea of Waffle House fight videos. Oh, shit. Yeah, dude.

Starting point is 03:26:55 Let's watch this. So I got to say. Oh, this is one of the best accounts on Twitter. 30 Second Fight. Excellent Twitter account. So you're not going to see a lot of technique here but a lot of gusto i was expecting more technique i'm ready i'm trying to frame it hard to do vertically oriented video i think this is as good as it gets. All right. Ready, set, play.

Starting point is 03:27:27 What? Employees don't play violence? I didn't expect it to be two employees. Right? Right? Please do... Oh, no. I think... You're not getting your flapjacks, dude. Sorry.

Starting point is 03:27:51 That's funny. Dude, Waffle House, so fucking overrated. That place sucks. I've never had a good meal at Waffle House, and I've gone there twice. I've had many great meals at Waffle House. I used to go there like if we went hunting and we killed a deer, we'd be up very late

Starting point is 03:28:10 into the night sometimes. Maybe we shoot the deer as the sun's going down. We have to track it for a mile, drag it back out of the woods. We'd probably get lost on the way back and then we've got to take the deer to the place that processes it into deer meat and then we're hungry and Waffle House is open. So we'd go to waffle house and i love that shit no first of all those are those are

Starting point is 03:28:28 real steak and shake hours that's we don't have steak and shake and in our neck of the wood so what we do have is waffle house the waffle housing what do you get and uh it depends how hard i want to go in the paint my friend i get one thing oh if i can only have one thing i want the hash browns and i want jalapenos and uh and cheese on them and i want to put some salsa on one half and some tomato on the other i get steak and eggs bacon eggs and it comes with a side of guilt because that's take it's half fat but it's so fatty you can't like cut it out and eat around it so it just goes down the same. It's intramuscular fat because they are

Starting point is 03:29:07 the world's largest retailer of T-bone steaks. The Waffle House is. Yeah. They sell more T-bones than any other place in the world. It's fucking retired circus animal meat. It's not. I don't ever get the steak.

Starting point is 03:29:23 I do like the hash browns a lot i don't really care for the waffles but i do get a lot of scrambled eggs and the sausage and it's good stuff i remember their eggs not being good i like their eggs 15 years ago they're not as they're not fluffy they're more of uh like a pudding type like soft uh i like that like a nice fluffy egg if i'm getting scrambled eggs no i do the gordon ramsay eggs and if i get them fried i don't ever do over easy because i feel like you lose yolk on the plate i like over hard a little more i feel like i get get all the food you know like over medium over medium is fine too wait that's for real over medium what is that what's over it's not like over easy you cut into that

Starting point is 03:30:07 yolk and it spills everywhere over medium is like a kind of a soft boiled egg kind of thing and then over hard is like it's all solid do they prepare a consistent over medium at waffle house i can't imagine they do if deandre's okay then? And he doesn't have to scrap. No, then I'll have scrambled. Is my main man DeAndre fixing the eggs? Yeah, I order steak and eggs, you know, so that I can be conscious of my figure. I order Arnold Palmer, right? Because half of it's on sweet tea, which makes it half good, probably.

Starting point is 03:30:47 Those, I fucking love Arnold Palmers. They're as good as sweet tea. I could drink those all day. Yeah, they're great. I remember I used to buy Arnold Palmers in those giant cans when I was like a teenager and then go home and play Xbox. And in my head, I was just like,

Starting point is 03:31:02 yeah, this is like just basically tea. It's good for me. You look at the other side of the container and it's like, this is a Big Mac. No calories. Yes. But goddamn, those are some good times. Sipping off a tall boy of Arnie Palmy's. Sometimes I do water,

Starting point is 03:31:19 but it's hard at a restaurant. I don't eat at restaurants very often, but when I do, it's hard to resist the Arnold Palmer. I like unsweet tea. It's got some lemon in. I don't eat at restaurants very often, but when I do, it's hard to resist the Arnold Palmer. I like unsweet tea. It's got some lemon in there, a little sweetener. I wish I liked unsweet tea. It depends what you sweeten it with. Look, I've tried all sorts of sweeteners,

Starting point is 03:31:34 and honestly, sweet and low is the best, those little pink packets. They're more effective for volume, right? If you put in a packet of sugar, you have unsweet tea with a whisper of sugar. You put in a packet of sweet and you have unsweet tea with a whisper of sugar. You put in a packet of sweet and low and it, it, um,

Starting point is 03:31:48 what is it called? Very fully saturates, you know, not super saturated, but like it, all of it, none of it's stuck on the bottom because it fully dissolved. Oh,

Starting point is 03:31:55 it dissolves. Yeah. It fully dissolves. And, uh, and like you said, it's potent. You get more per packet.

Starting point is 03:32:01 Yeah. I put like one in my coffee and it's good to go. All right. If I'm making, I do like, in my coffee and it's good to go. Alright, if I'm making... That's what I've been drinking for the last little bit is unsweet tea. I take like a big lemon slice and squeeze a bitch in there and get three sweeteners in there. It's delicious.

Starting point is 03:32:17 It's like the bitterness of unsweet tea. I don't add sugar or anything to it. Other than lemon. But that's not really a sweetener. That's because Missouri's not really a sweet that's because missouri is not really the south no no no i mean we kind of just straddled the civil war to see what would happen oh did you ever watch actually we had a line the mason dixon line went right through us yeah did you ever watch any of the outsider no i need to watch some gotta watch it you're loving it that much huh are they are they 30

Starting point is 03:32:45 minute episodes or hour long hour i think i think you got like five hours of content there the other thing tomorrow night then yeah that's really good jason fayton acting and directing very good very very good and like it's not like it reminds me of like an x-files episode that they turned into a movie or like no i'll take that back that they stretched out over an entire season or something like that there's definitely some spooky stuff going on but it's not like dracula's not like hanging from the fucking attic or anything like that it's like wait what's going on here like it's a real sort of thriller mystery type show it's it's good stuff and it's hbo they make good i'm always looking for new thrillers that's quickly become my favorite genre I think I'm watching Ragnarok, have you guys heard of it? is that the Thor movie?

Starting point is 03:33:29 there's also a Thor movie called Thor Ragnarok but it's a Netflix special it's six episodes basically this dude and his brother move to this town his superpowers start developing one guy's just naturally good and wants to help people

Starting point is 03:33:46 because that's his way the other guy's kind of an asshole every opportunity he gets good guy kind of looks like thor asshole kind of looks like loki let's see where this goes okay i've been watching an animated show on um the uh what's that cartoon thing the the adult swim and it's called primal uh and primal is a caveman uh living in like a time of dinosaurs there's no speaking in primal it's really cool animation and just with like the caveman's like expressions and his eyes you're able to tell the difference between mad angry furious sad like like everything like like just gigantic range of emotions that you just get from his eyes and it's none because he's a fucking caveman you described it as animated uh animated cartoon yeah so like cartoon that's where i was because animated can mean cgi can mean yeah so the style of animation

Starting point is 03:34:43 um is a bit old school like it's definitely drawn it's not uh it's not a pixar type thing it's really fun like i'm there's four episodes i think and i've seen two of them and i really liked it and i'm not gonna spoil too much because it actually does have like a really cool story it's gory as fuck there's tons of blood and and uh but he becomes friends with a dinosaur who's had like a similarly poor lot in life like the horrible things have happened to them both and they like learn to team up and like out of nowhere he's just like hops on the dinosaur's back with his spear and the dinosaur just like roar and he's like yeah and like that's the end of episode one

Starting point is 03:35:22 with him on the diner and you're like fuck yeah now they're the dynamic duo and then like i remember this scene from game of thrones it's really good i honestly like i really dig the animation style um and uh it's it's definitely how long is an episode 30 minutes 20 minutes or something like that like i didn't want to buy it i just i watched a youtube video where they were like praising the animation and how good the show was so i downloaded the adult swim app and you can watch each episode for free with like 90 seconds of ads i think like two 30 second ads maybe even so it's you know it's pretty attainable you don't have to purchase it or get some some brand new service which app did you say it was i think it's adult swim oh which i didn't even know that existed yeah yeah um adult swim used to be so fucking funny i guess it might still be but i've never you didn't like shit

Starting point is 03:36:17 like aquatine hunger force i felt like a lot of that stuff was like intentionally like raunchy and like like like over the top. I never liked all that. I really just didn't like it. I don't know. What podcast do you think you're a host of? There'd be shows like Cunt Burger. Welcome back to Cunt Burger,

Starting point is 03:36:39 where everybody's a burger made of cunts. No, the worst one was Squidbillies. I could never watch an episode of Squidbillies without getting tremendously sad and depressed. It just made me sad to watch. Aqua Teen Hunger Force, I thought, had a bunch of funny episodes. I never got into it. I'll tell you what I like that's old school animation.

Starting point is 03:36:58 That's MTV Celebrity Deathmatch. Remember that shit? Yeah, that was fun. Where it's like those clay figurines fighting and those two guys making good jokes. Yeah, that shit where like it's like those clay figurines fighting and those two guys making good good jokes yeah that's great yeah it's fucking oh we've got paris hilton version nicole richie i remember that one that was a funny one and it's like the over the top talking about over the top dude they would rip each other's eyes out and disembowels yeah disembowel

Starting point is 03:37:21 them and and just limbs being ripped off and people getting eaten like hannibal lecter was one of them i i can't remember who he was fighting but yeah i like that show on there like uh what what fuck just lost oh uh not not uh fucking robot chicken oh i like that like a teenager i thought that was hilarious and And I, in my head, I remembered it as hilarious. And I watched a couple of clips on YouTube the other day. Very disappointing. No, I think it's still wrong. That'd be crazy.

Starting point is 03:37:52 If that shit, that's a Seth green show, right? Yeah. Yeah. Because they like ripping on family guy. Yeah. That's really funny.

Starting point is 03:37:59 Yeah. It is funny where he's like, yeah, I don't really watch that. And he's like, you know, it's a pretty good show, dad. And it's like, I don't want watch that. And he's like, well, you know, it's a pretty good show, Dad. And it's like, I don't want to watch people playing with action figures

Starting point is 03:38:08 for half an hour. 15 minutes. He's like, yeah, that shit's good. Yeah, I need to... Tomorrow night? No, they're not. They're the night after tomorrow night. They're tonight as this show comes out.

Starting point is 03:38:25 Yeah, if you're a non-Patreon loser. John Jones is fighting a guy named Dominic Reyes, perhaps? R-E-Y-E-S. And Kyle's favorite female fighter, maybe. Valentina Shevchenko. Is fighting a huge underdog. Kashugan or something like that? Kahugan? Thank you. Yeah, I don't know.

Starting point is 03:38:49 That doesn't sound like the real name. You're welcome, I guess. I don't know her name either. John Jones is also fighting. Dominic Reyes? Reyes? Is a huge underdog as well. I'm wrong every time John Jones fights and I predict him to lose. Do you see how many times USADA tested him?

Starting point is 03:39:12 No. It was the most, what's his name, Novitski or whatever, said it was the most he'd ever seen any athlete tested ever. It was like 40 times a year or something like that. That's crazy, like random piss tests. A couple of times. They have to now, right, because he has such a history of it. Crazy. Like random piss test. They have to now, right? Because he has such a history of it.

Starting point is 03:39:29 According to some people. According to USADA. He has not looked as good as he did back when... Back before, you know, as he was getting caught for steroids. Undefeated, undisputed, champion of the world. He lost, according to a lot of people, to a

Starting point is 03:39:47 185 pounder on one leg one or two fights ago? Not according to the judges. Yeah, Kyle, did you consider that? Undefeated, undisputed. Matt Hamill beat him. That was not a beating. That was a disqualification.

Starting point is 03:40:04 There's lots of ways to lose a fight uh yeah you could just not show up i wouldn't count it it would be so funny if like trump tweeted out and my favorite fighter of all time john jones undisputed absolutely champion and then seeing both of you guys flip he just tweeted trump just tweeted supporting uh mcgregor the other night yeah mcgregor also came out in support of trump yeah he called him the american goat the presidential goat or something like that's hilarious i'm just trying to get as much attention as i have sales of my whiskey are going down yeah john jones is a great great fighter he wins all his fights what else do you want

Starting point is 03:40:45 uh and it's like i i want to be like well he's not really that good oh yeah who's better well i mean okay nobody alive he's the best on this planet but that's it well i bet he couldn't beat up the mountain how do you feel about that right it might be maybe if he had that spear though i would love to see thor bjornson first of all coolest name for a strong man ever so dope his name is thor and he can deadlift 1100 pounds like life is rigged for you dude hey it's, Taylor. Test. Don't look at anything but the camera. Spell Bjornsson. B-J-O-R-N-S-S-O-N. You forgot the double dots over the O.

Starting point is 03:41:36 Oh, I forgot the O loud. No, that was amazing. Did I get it right? Yes. Yeah. Taylor's spelling is so good. Kyle will confirm that every time I'll type out the PKA title and be like, Taylor, do you need a spell check on this?

Starting point is 03:41:57 Actually, people only has one E. It's usually last names. And what, you'll be like oh really all right because i've been using two for my whole life people have my ego because i'm like man i'm the i'm the grand poobah spelling over i just want to throw out people has two e's i feel like that was a bad dig no no no it's it's it's him the joke was that he would troll you into believing I thought the joke was I put too many E's in. See, I should have tripled down and be like, no, Woody, it's one E.

Starting point is 03:42:32 Have you really been putting too many E's in your life? Dude, if I understood math the way I understand spelling, God, I would not be as dumb as I am. Spelling just always made sense. I was talking to someone when i was much much younger and i was like yeah you know how when like you think words like you see them in your head written out they're like no i don't think that way and i was like what then how do you how do you think you know do you guys do it that way like when you think of a sentence like you see it spelled out in your head. No, I don't have that like you do. I see pictures of the words.

Starting point is 03:43:08 If I wanted to spell a word, I would pronounce it slowly and think of all the letters that are in it. But that is not reliable. No. Hence my spelling. I would sound it out poorly. That's an interesting thing to think about.

Starting point is 03:43:27 There was some study that came out that reported that some people don't have an internal monologue. They don't think internally. They have more feelings and impulses. That's crazy to me.

Starting point is 03:43:43 I talk to myself in my head all day. Yeah, to me how do you i saw that on reddit all day yeah me too i think i saw that on reddit where like the person told their mother that they didn't have an internal monologue and and like and the mother's now looking at him like he's a monster and i'm thinking to myself like you might be like like that's some animal shit you don't have an internal monologue what the fuck is wrong with you that's your soul how do you think right do you think without burning witches but i'm for burning people without inner monologues apparently there's a lot of them though so it's gonna take a couple of big fires is that true is this like the wiping thing where

Starting point is 03:44:15 half wipe one way half wipe the other and neither knows the other half exists you know a half think in their native language in their head half think in some sort of feeling emotion smoke signals and they don't know each other exist is that i don't know it's crazy but like just like it's one of those things that you can't even empathize with it where it's like try and imagine your functionality maintaining intact day to day and not having an internal monologue it it doesn't make any sense i couldn't process thoughts without language yeah like you need language process it's just it's mind-blowing that's shit's crazy or who knows maybe it's just one study that's not very yeah that'll be disproven shortly yeah as many of them are but yeah how tall is juji mufu the fuck is juji mufu oh no juji mufu is

Starting point is 03:45:10 that guy's channel is awesome i knew that taylor would watch him yeah taylor really enjoys his videos i think oh yeah i love juji mufu's channel i i'd like to get him on on the show that would be awesome if you guys are juji mufu fans get that bitch on the show i want would be awesome. If you guys are JuJuMufu fans, get that bitch on the show. I want to talk to him about his fitness routine. He does so much fun stuff. He makes fitness fun. I know how lame I just said that. JuJuMufu is a YouTuber.

Starting point is 03:45:35 He is yoked out of his mind, which somehow is racist to me now. He's super duper strong. Steroids, right? Openly admitted, maybe? I haven't seen him admit steroids. I saw him goof around about it, for sure. You know, all natural. Yeah, yeah, all natural.

Starting point is 03:45:53 If he's all natural, that is, he's a one percenter. Yeah, that's a genetic lottery winner if he's natural. But I wonder how tall he is i don't know sometimes i would guess like 5 10 okay yeah he i don't know it's hard to tell because he's next to extraordinary people all the time right that he just came up with a picture next to bjornson who is the? Yeah. Everyone looks small next to the mountain. I mean, he had a video,

Starting point is 03:46:29 one of the ones I really enjoyed from him. It's like, so it was some challenge I think. And forgive me if I'm wrong, but I think it was Scotland where it's like, you pick up this rock that weighs like 500 pounds and you walk around this ancient like stone placement thing as long as you can and Jujimufu

Starting point is 03:46:48 is ripped out of his gourd absolutely enormously strong and he was struggling to like get it up in place and then walking and he was with the mountain and then the mountain does it almost casually

Starting point is 03:47:03 like yeah I just grab it pull it up and then walk around that is the secret dude well the secret is to be seven feet tall and enormous who's the mountain climber he makes so many videos with oh i don't remember the guy's name but i love the mountain climber videos because you can really see how fucking strong the grip strength is of these climbers. It's out of this world because like he even had one video where he went up to like three random young kids climbing in a climbing gym and he had no experience with it. And they were doing grip strength tests. And this kid who weighed like 150 pounds, like soaking wet tiny was doing stuff that what's a grip string test look like test so basically what they do is uh they have these different grips so some

Starting point is 03:47:52 of them is like it's like an iron box that you have to grab like that and and lift up and it's it's all grip strength like there's nothing to latch your hand on and another one is just like kind of a pipe just like a dowel that you have to grab onto. And it's, it's unbelievable. I, I tried, I was flirting with the idea of getting grip strength training stuff.

Starting point is 03:48:15 And then I saw the total price and I was like, bitch, you're not going to commit yourself to this. Just, just lift weights. I enjoyed you. Do you move whose videos? Oftentimes he puts himself in situations

Starting point is 03:48:25 where he's humbled, right? This is a guy whose strength is better than one percenter, right? He's a.1 percenter. He's very, very strong. Very, very jacked. And then he'll be like, yeah, here's a guy who's been a professional mountain climber, indoor rock

Starting point is 03:48:41 climber for the last 20 years. He and I are going to see how we stack up and obviously he gets wrecked by this guy um he put the the mountain climber whose name i can't recall wore weighted vest so that they had equal weights and that was so cool because the mountain climber still did much better and juju bufu was like this of all the shit we've done american ninja warrior this that the other thing all your feats this one's the most impressive to me he's like i always thought that this the reason you did so well at this was because you were lighter than me now we're the same weight and you're still doing so well it was outrageous did you see the one

Starting point is 03:49:24 that one of his videos from a you know probably six months ago at this point that i really enjoyed was they went fishing for like tuna or some enormous fish okay and instead of having the pole strapped in the way you normally would because the weight's just too intense for most people they were doing it like free-handed okay and it was unbelievable to see these guys he did it with like a couple of professional arm wrestlers and shit because he's into arm wrestling yeah and watching a guy that's as jacked as him like try and hold in these fish it was insane like he's like getting pulled to the edge of the boat other guys are having to grab him. It's like, holy fuck. We are so weak compared to most animals.

Starting point is 03:50:11 Have you ever gone deep sea fishing and caught something big? No, I've never gone deep sea fishing. Seems like it'd be fun, though. It was terrible for me. I've told the whole story where I got into a fight with the beer-worn guy before. But I also didn't catch a marlin, but i reeled it in uh the way we did it because i'm just a tourist uh of course the boat captain's out there the first hands are you know baiting all the lines and everything when there's a bite the first hand hooks it which apparently takes some

Starting point is 03:50:37 skill and then after that happens they put my retard ass on the rod and i get to like reel it in and do the thing and and then uh i got it all the way up to the boat and i guess it takes skill to do the last part where they like i don't know beat the fuck out of it and get into the boat because i lost him after i got him close but it was still a neat experience and i caught a ton of i think dolphin and mahi-mahi are the same fish and I caught a bunch of those they're not? no I thought mahi-mahi was a fish

Starting point is 03:51:09 whereas dolphin is a mammal it is no I'm right there is something called like a let me see a dolphin fish I wonder what dolphin tastes like as a matter of fact if you google dolphin fish

Starting point is 03:51:24 mahi-mahi also comes up so you're saying have you ever seen fish no uh there is a fish called a dolphin and then there is a mammal called a dolphin but what's a mahi-mahi it is the fish that shares a name with dolphin fish have you ever seen those sunfish? I'm so confused now. That are fucking enormous. I know that a dolphin is a marine mammal, and I know that a mahi-mahi is a fish. Would you read the first line in this Wikipedia article?

Starting point is 03:51:55 Ah, they refer to it as the dolphin fish. However, it is, of course, a fish. It doesn't look like a dolphin at all. I didn't name it, but I caught three of those. i'm just mad at scientists woody not you he's like i caught eight dolphins they just can't we were just stockpiling those bitches yeah they live for a while out of the water you'd be shocked

Starting point is 03:52:19 are you allowed to keep most fish when you do uh like deep sea fishing because all the videos i've seen is when they like do that thing that what he was saying where you pull it up to the side of the boat you kind of like touch it and it's like all right now unhook it and send it on its way i because yeah that would be like getting a deer's worth of meat for some of these animals well some of those tuna are like 800 a thousand pounds, right? Oh yeah, they're fucking enormous. 800 pounds of tuna? Can you imagine how long that would last? Days!

Starting point is 03:52:51 So we didn't catch tuna. I think we put all the marlins back and we kept all the dolphins. Alright, can we watch Chiz's video? The public freak out here. It's a slow burn, but we get there.

Starting point is 03:53:10 Is that a gun in the opening second? No. Okay. I'm at zero. I'm ready. What the fuck is this guy wearing? It looks like a canvas vest

Starting point is 03:53:26 with a canvas skirt a canvas vest on i'm ready let's watch it ready set play what language are they speaking is this africa What language are they speaking? Is this Africa? I don't know. I have no idea. That woman didn't see our punching power study. She didn't see the kicking power study either. Oh, a trip.

Starting point is 03:54:00 Oh, what a stomp. Wow, he's not done yet. Did you see the fucking soccer kick to the face right in the last frame? I did. Wham. I think you're right. Yeah, that might be Africa. I don't know.

Starting point is 03:54:17 Goddamn. That guy gave her quite a boot. That guy also gave her quite a chance. There's like 25 seconds of her physically and verbally abusing him while he absorbs it. And then five seconds of him saying he's had enough. Did you see in front of him is just a tar played out with just a bunch of shit he's trying to sell? That's so funny. Is he selling?

Starting point is 03:54:43 I inferred that's what she was upset about look at my whole time i'm watching it she's saying clean up this mess you have a tarp full of bullshit on the ground you need to leave maybe do you know where you are i am going to fuck you up so hard that was lieutenant m Montgomery. He's, he's falling on harder times. Lieutenant left. Oh, it's South Africa. Lieutenant Montgomery. Took me two seconds to identify the,

Starting point is 03:55:11 that location. Strand St. Bus station, Cape town, South Africa. I can never, I rewatch that Opie and Anthony clip of flight. Lieutenant Montgomery from Zimbabwe.

Starting point is 03:55:26 That helmet probably every six weeks and i almost cry laughing every single time i gotta show my dad next time he comes over that video is so ridiculous like like he turns the helicopter off and it's turning at like three rotations a minute it wouldn't even serve as a decent ceiling fan like it's he's taking several test flights it's made out of iron welded together it's heavier than a fucking suburban the helmet is the best part like he's made his in his full yellow flight suit and the helmet has that blue dot he's hastily painted a red dot he's hastily painted on and he's just like lying in the cabin of it none of the electrical works it's just it's like a kid's hangout clubhouse that they put together like it's it's

Starting point is 03:56:19 nonsense i wish i knew i hope that he he's got a really good sense of humor. He knows it's all a big joke. I would hope so. He's laughing on the inside. I mean, the guy doing the reporting... He has to know. He has to know when he's like Flight Lieutenant Mugumbe

Starting point is 03:56:40 has taken Zimbabwe into the air. As Maya Angelou or whatever said, Lieutenant Mugumbe has taken Zimbabwe into the air. As Maya Angelou or whatever said, for so long, we have made do with nothing, that now we can do anything with nothing. That's a terrible quote. That doesn't

Starting point is 03:56:58 make any sense at all. Oh God, that video. Anybody out there who hasn't watched, I don't even know if the video on a channel is still up. If it is though, God damn, that's so, so fucking funny. The ONA subreddit's gone, I think I read. Does that sound right? Oh yeah, my Reddit use plummeted

Starting point is 03:57:16 after that subreddit went away because it was hilarious. It was far and away the funniest subreddit. It's so, so good. There's a new one that I... Do you know the Fighter and the Kid podcast? I'll probably... I've heard of it.

Starting point is 03:57:30 I've never listened. Okay, the Fighter and the Kid podcast. The UFC fighter, Brandon Schwab. He was one time a top 10 heavyweight. How do you pronounce that name? Schwab? Schwab. Schwab, thank you.

Starting point is 03:57:42 And then a comedian who is the kid for some reason. He's older than me and uh uh they have a podcast together and their subreddit hates them oh my they hate them i like i i'm like all right how much can they hate them this is an area that i'm familiar with and I'm like, all right, how much can they hate them? This is an area that I'm familiar with. And no, no, they hate them so much. Every post was a hate post on another level. That is unflattering pictures.

Starting point is 03:58:16 Some of this hitting kind of host to hope. I feel like that's a natural evolution of a podcast subreddit. it starts out very positive and it gets to the point where it's like, also, fuck him. And he's the worst. And I hate him. Like, ONA's subreddit was so fucking mean. It was hilarious. Like, their top voted post of the day would just be like, shout out to my favorite pedophile. And it's just a photo of Anthony.

Starting point is 03:58:48 Anthony, yeah. Oh, did you see Jim Norton was on Rogan? Oh, he's been on a few times, I believe. I didn't know that. I'd never seen him on there. He was on there like either today or yesterday. They were talking about Bob Lazar. So that was pretty interesting.

Starting point is 03:59:03 Jim, like i'm still in another phase of watching old or listening rather to old ona when i'm just kind of milling around doing whatever and jim is so fucking quick like so quick-witted it makes me fucking jealous like he immediately he's got jokes yeah he's the quickest i've ever seen it's very impressive it's very impressive yeah and and just goes through the throat just just really dirty really cruel stuff it's it's hilarious i fucking love old jim norton on that show like the only it got to the point where the only people that the ona subreddit liked people is the only person rather is colin quinn and it's impossible to dislike colin quinn that guy is a fucking champion he was the one who he has such a

Starting point is 03:59:54 funny did they hate on jim eventually yeah they hate on jim they hate on they hated on anthony they hated on opie they hated on everybody in a very funny way but the clip that always kept me laughing was colin quinn insulting anthony being like and this fucking back alley tunisian knife fighter because like calling him tunisian's funny because anthony's like actually racist like not not like joking ironic shit but yeah that oh man bring back r slash opie and anthony because that was other than that in hockey i use reddit not at all like so fucking funny i'm trying to think of other really good bits really good bits they had what what did he call what did he call him?

Starting point is 04:00:45 Oh, fuck. Trying to think of the Colin Quinn bits. Anyway, doesn't matter. It'll come to me later. Somebody needs to dress Bernie Sanders. He needs some power suits. Look at this. We don't need to watch the video or anything,

Starting point is 04:00:57 but just look at that thumbnail. It looks like my grandmother thought it was a little nippy outside. She threw on a fucking sweater. My man got some narrow ass shoulders. I hear what you're saying. You don't see it as part of his appeal? Say what you want about Trump, but he dresses well. It's flattering to his body type, as flattering as he can be.

Starting point is 04:01:22 Right. He should be in a fucking suit. Put a fucking suit put a fucking suit on bernie you're not you're not running for mailman yeah i mean he could yeah he looks like the head of the pta like it's almost like he's asking you to overlook his look right and and that's not that's not the way to go like you could do a casual thing like he could wear the button up with like a blazer like like unbuttoned like a nice thin lapel like like something that's kind of open and casual but this looks like this looks awful yeah i mean i other i mean i fucking

Starting point is 04:01:59 hate pretty much every politician right and left but bernie he does give off a vibe that he genuinely believes what he's saying and he looks like somebody redistributed his wardrobe like what is this in my america we will all wear unflattering garments that show the growth of my right tit based on this. Wait, I need to look again. Come on. Be the leader of the free world. Put on a fucking suit. Nice thick red tie.

Starting point is 04:02:40 So, Kyle, I think all three of us are in solidarity, and we're voting for whoever is going to expunge that record and get you back into firearm territory. That's a Buttigieg position. I just want to put that out there. I don't know if that'll even work for me. I don't know if anybody's going to expunge a distribution charge. Ah, I disagree. Wait, if they legalize pot, won't they get rid of it or no?

Starting point is 04:03:00 I don't know. No, not necessarily on the legalized pot, which is the question you asked. But Buttigieg and Bernie both have expunging old records. And Bernie, I think, said anything nonviolent. I don't know if Buttigieg really went into detail. Yeah, we'll see. I'm not getting my hopes up.

Starting point is 04:03:16 I'm just looking forward to it. One of the AMA questions was, what am I going to do the day my probation is up? If you want to ask AMA questions, it's $10. It's the same thing. They get you PK in early. We we did begin on monday this week so you get it extra early but i've known that for a very long time it's the same thing that i would have done like last year or at any point during this whole thing if they were just like called me they're like you know what we're kind of done with this you want to just go your way and we'll go ours immediately driving to the atlanta airport buying a plane ticket to Colorado when I'm

Starting point is 04:03:45 gone. Gone. Aren't you going to miss your... It's like that scene at the end of The Usual Suspect. The Usual Suspect. And just like that... You're limping onto the plane and then you start walking down the...

Starting point is 04:04:03 The walkway. I'll go straight from Verbal Kent to fucking Kaiser Soze in like five seconds flat. I'll be fucking gone. To the land of dope and honey. Best movies of all time.

Starting point is 04:04:17 Oh, that's the land of dope and honey. Yeah, I'll be gone. Gone. Gone. I would leave if they called right now and they were like, hey, we miscalculated. We should have counted like the last two years on your probation, so technically you're free to go right now. I would be like, fuck you guys, I gotta go.

Starting point is 04:04:34 I'd leave right, I'd Just gone. I'd be gone. Like, I'd grab a few things on my way out, but I'm not even gonna pack a bag, you know? I'm just to the airport and flying 600 miles an hour to the land of freedom i just can't believe that you would move to colorado and not ski it's so much fun you can even be high while you're doing it you

Starting point is 04:04:58 make this out like a choice you're like i can't believe that you would just choose not to fly in the air like a bird like like it would be great i can't do it it hurts you can it hurts my ankles straight it has nothing to do with that if i just put the boots on put no pressure on didn't even stand if i sat with those ski boots on it would be excruciating like i can try in my ankles i was with kyle when he gave uh skiing a good effort it's not for him all day all day we're out there it was terrible i i don't know if i have it did i just did we just ditch you and you're and you and you my girl no your girlfriend and me went skiing instead a little slip there right right i also danced with my girlfriend i was getting a little jelly did i i don't remember was that at the uh yeah that was that that was like an e3 party where like

Starting point is 04:05:51 a bunch of bunch of people were at or something like that yes i was fresh off my um dance competition dance company i was kind of on a dancing it was my thing at the time i danced with um who's the girl that uh she's a big YouTuber and she dated... Yeah, I know who you're talking about. Yeah, does that apple shit. I don't know. Little, tiny, blonde, cute. I danced with anyone who would.

Starting point is 04:06:16 Danced with Kitty, too. So your ankles just kill you? Just trying to even wear those? Like my inner ankles? I can feel my heart throbbing. And then like... Have you ever tried snow snowboarding i've never snowboarded but i know those boots are way more comfortable you can just wear regular boots and buckle those in right yeah i think you can put on like i could be wrong but i've had this discussion with others before and i and i think that's what i do i came to the idea that if i just

Starting point is 04:06:43 wore regular boots and strapped them. There's something about the ski boots that had a hard bar on the inner ankle or something like that. Yeah. Yeah, that's excruciating for me. I've got weird shaped ankles or something. Oh, that stinks. Ice skating is not for Kyle either. Does the exact same thing.

Starting point is 04:06:58 I do enjoy it, though. And I'm pretty, I can kind of do it, but not well. Can you stop? Yeah. I mean, eventually you hit the floor. You're not going not well. Can you stop? Yeah. I mean, eventually you hit the floor. You're not going anywhere then. Can you do a hockey stop? Oh, of course I can do a hockey stop.

Starting point is 04:07:12 Stop, yeah. And my slap shot's excellent. What's the point of asking these questions for? You said you could skate. Part of skating is stopping. Why? Why do I want to stop? Once I'm going, I'm going.

Starting point is 04:07:25 Still plows a little until he loses momentum. I've been ice skating like three times. You can't fucking skate. No, of course I can't fucking skate. I'll say this. I'm not like right around the edge, like holding on to the edge, like doing this number. I'm skating, right? I'm going

Starting point is 04:07:43 along, but if you were to stop right in front of me, there'd be a whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm skating. I'm going along. But if you were to stop right in front of me, there'd be a, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Kind of like, what are you doing? Are you doing this shit? Because growing up, we used to go roller skating a lot. And I guess everybody can do that. I'm great at that.

Starting point is 04:08:00 I can go backwards and I can stop and I can do stuff. I'm like Bryan Cranston and, and, and fucking Malcolm in the middle. It's a great reference, but, but,

Starting point is 04:08:11 but on, and I always used hockey skates as well. Like my, my friend Saul was like, I got hockey skates are much easier to use than the figure skates. Faggots wear the hockey skates. Stopping in roller skates, like hockey style is so hard,

Starting point is 04:08:24 like way, way harder than on ice at least in my opinion yeah just tip your head over and you'll fall and break your fucking ankle yeah yeah i remember i played goalie once in roller hockey when i was maybe like nine or 10 and our goalie was out and it was the worst experience. You get so hot in goalie stuff on a roller hockey rink. There's no cooling ice effect. It's fucking suck. I don't know why you would play goalie and roller, especially you can't laterally slide.

Starting point is 04:09:01 So you're letting an easy goals that you would otherwise stop. What do what where are you at with your uh uh men's league stuff are you are you doing that this year or no i haven't done that in ages uh yeah i would just give it more lip service if you like how about are you playing are you it sounds i imagine you asked that because you're getting into it no it's the same old thing where every single season my friends who play hockey are like damn we'd love to have you on the team and i'm like all right i'd like to play right wing and they're like yeah nah we kind of pictured you as goalie and it's like do you want me to play if i can play right wing i won't be very good

Starting point is 04:09:40 they're like nah it's okay let us know if you want to play goalie so that that's what level do they play oh i don't even know it's just some men's league that's uh it's mostly guys that played in high school maybe a little college like they're it wouldn't be that they don't have a level they don't have um a b and c i'm sure they do i just i'm not familiar with which one they're in i i would assume a because one of the guys who asked me is actually pretty good. At my peak, I played A, but I was a below average player. And I also played B. And I think in my best year, I got like MVP of that league.

Starting point is 04:10:20 I think if I played C now, I wouldn't hurt the team. I'd be okay there. Yeah. Because I remember playing with guys my age in the B League, and it was like, I don't know, just being polite by not saying anything. Just leave. Stop it.

Starting point is 04:10:39 They're good players in this B League. It can't be good for your elbow to be shooting a hockey puck. Did you see that memo that Pete Buttigieg sent out to all of the people who were working in his campaign about microaggressions? I did not. Is it funny? If you

Starting point is 04:10:57 identified as a person of color, then you were allowed to take this survey. And then it was like, so I snagged one right away. And it was just all sorts of like, are you ever left out of pertinent email chains without an explanation?

Starting point is 04:11:19 Have you ever been interrupted or spoken over by a white coworker or colleague? Have you ever, there's lots of that. Have you ever had a white spoken over by a white coworker or colleague? There's lots of that. Have you ever had a white colleague explain something to you? I'm like, what if you wanted to know? I didn't want to know from a whitey. On a scale of 9 to 10, how much do you dislike white people? Was it a reaction?

Starting point is 04:11:43 So I feel like there's background here there's content first maybe because of the gay thing black people hate pete okay cool white people working in mayor pete's campaign said they weren't being treated as well and now i hear there's a survey towards the black people working in his campaign asking if they're not being treated well. That's the context, right? I have no idea. Insert. Oh, no. This is just pumping the Mayor Pete propaganda into the chat.

Starting point is 04:12:23 Look at these facts he's propagandizing. Watch Pete insert artificial audience applause and to pete on cnn videos did you see pete's this doesn't look like anything to me please clap moment that was so funny i i think that he's he's got his own he's got a please clap moment right here he's like please press the clap button i like the one where he like said what was supposed to be like a banger and was like come on and then people give like a deserved clap that's funny

Starting point is 04:12:52 I mean that ruined Howard Dean and Jeb Bush you know I guess Howard Dean's wasn't really a please clap yeah we're going to North Dakota and South Dakota and we're going to North Dakota and South Dakota and we're going to Wisconsin yeah

Starting point is 04:13:08 that's all it took back then that's all it took you can grab him by the pussy now that man Trump could go yeah to Trump's credit he doesn't let it stick Trump could go, yeah, and grab a piece of the United States. To Trump's credit, he doesn't let it stick to him.

Starting point is 04:13:34 It's like he chooses not to be bothered by it so that everyone else doesn't get bothered by it. But I don't think he's, it's not just luck, right? There's something there. He just moves on like he doesn't notice everyone's fussing about this and then there's nothing to say he refuses to apologize he's very very good normal politician would be like you know you're right i shouldn't he's like fuck you i'll say it again yeah yeah it's locker locker room talk she was bleeding from her nose or her whatever and uh you know that would have sank anyone else and he's just like it's a viable theory

Starting point is 04:14:06 mika brzezinski showed up at a house party and she had blood coming out of her nose and all over her face and it's like that lady did not show up to a party bleeding everywhere this was um to a party megan kelly megan kelly the pretty fox news lady asked him about his route his nasty thing he said. And then he said, you know, well, to be fair,

Starting point is 04:14:27 that was about Rosie O'Donnell. It was actually about a bunch of people, but that's not important. What's important is that, uh, afterwards he's like, he basically said, Megan Kelly probably asked that nasty question.

Starting point is 04:14:37 Cause she was on a period. And, uh, that is true. King shit. That's hilarious. I, that's all true, Taylor.

Starting point is 04:14:46 I think we should vote on based on who's the funniest. That's how we get through. How much worse do we think the coronavirus is going to get? I like Chiz's suggestion here to pick an over-under. How many die between this week and next week? How many have died so far? 85 million.

Starting point is 04:15:05 Wow, that's higher than I was thinking. Actually, that's not true at all. That's the way 85 million have died. I think about 850 have died. The question is, how many died this week? I did see that some Indian scientists were trying to decipher the virus strain and they found that there are some hiv one like strains in it and so apparently if you get it you can still get it later like it's not going to work with you know your body's natural antibodies the

Starting point is 04:15:41 way it normally yeah because that's normally like It might be tougher to vaccinate. Yeah, if it's including shit that's an autoimmune disease. I don't know. I think and maybe I'm a retard, but maybe I think it's probably bigger than they're letting on. I do not trust China's self-reported

Starting point is 04:16:00 data. Why not? They told us, hey, Tiananmen Square, 240 protesters died, alright? It wasn't 10,000. Where did it come from, 10,000? It was closer to 10,000. I didn't know that.

Starting point is 04:16:15 Well, the reports vary greatly because you're dealing with the Chinese bigly. The reports are somewhere between 240 and 10,000. Good God. Jesus Christ. I'm not educated. I literally thought it was like dozens.

Starting point is 04:16:31 They crushed people with... The government's position is like 240. The Chinese government's position. But they fired live rounds into crowds like machine gun fire and they ran people over with armored personnel carriers and crushed them in the streets. Did that guy who was standing in front of the tank get got? I don't know what happened to Tank Man.

Starting point is 04:16:49 I was thinking it would be pretty alpha of China to fire around right into his face. A lot of them got five or seven years in prison, I know, who were the instigators or whatever. The whole thing was like a politician died and he was more of a reform guy, more democratic China.

Starting point is 04:17:08 And things started going the other way after he died, and the protesters were in the street. And then the newspapers started mischaracterizing the protesters as violent. And so that made them protest even harder. Like, hey, you're lying about us in the paper. Now they're protesting about what China said about their protesting. about us in the paper now they're protesting about what china said about their protesting and it just kept getting bigger and bigger until they called in the fucking people's what whatever they call their army they call them the fucking army with machine guns and armored personnel carriers so the protesters started setting them on fire with molotov

Starting point is 04:17:38 cocktails and they started shooting protesters and crushing them in the streets and then they brought in the tanks and that was about it. Our protests are lame as shit compared to most other countries. It's like, hey, we're holding up signs and we're wearing special hats. How do you like that? And China's like, thousands of people are dying. Hong Kong protests are pretty legit.

Starting point is 04:17:58 I think 500 people died this week. 500 more. 500 in a week? I'll take the under on that. I'll take the over. In a week i'll take the under on that i'll i'll take the over i'll take the over in a week okay yeah i'm just trying to add a little bit of diversity into embedding i don't fucking know did you see the shit where uh because you know like there's there's so much um protesting going on in france with those yellow jackets. Still? I remember that from a year ago. Oh, dude, that's still going.

Starting point is 04:18:26 There was a clip that went pretty big online of firefighters taking the side of the protesters and clashing with the police. That's insane. Absolutely mind-blowing. That is insane. Yeah, I had no idea that shit was still as big as it is, but apparently it is so do you know what they're protesting over uh i do not i i don't i don't care i know they really don't care

Starting point is 04:18:52 for their president or whatever but yeah matt crone or something yeah yeah he lost all his popularity i forget what figured that switch yeah i no idea. I know that he married his fucking like kindergarten teacher or some weird shit. She's like 25 years older than him. Wow. Yeah. Bad move.

Starting point is 04:19:17 For who? For him. He's the president of France. He can get all sorts of barricade. You're right i kind like so kyle and i had a debate a i don't know call it a month ago about the hottest first lady and i kind of thought that because these are leaders of the free world there would be lots of hot first ladies throughout history no no most first ladies weren't and i and i wasn't even going by currently hot right currently hot first lady is a much smaller talent pool because most presidents are in their

Starting point is 04:19:52 50s and 60s yeah i was going by first lady's peak hotness and not as good as you think no what's xi jin Jinping's wife look like? Maybe he's got a little Chinese cutie. I'm going to say he does. Kyle? Yeah, I bet she's cute. Okay. She's cuter than him, but... But not what you'd expect from a leader of the not-free world.

Starting point is 04:20:24 No, no. You know I respect him less now. What does Putin's lady look like? Putin gets whatever fucking blonde skinny gal he wants. Your first problem there was this singularly use of lady. Yeah, Putin's wife. Okay. Is she a cutie patootie?

Starting point is 04:20:43 What? Well, no. She's not following his fitness regime. Really? Oh, my God. You know who she looks like? She looks like George Costanza's mother. Hang on.

Starting point is 04:20:56 Let me link this one. But George. Yeah. I can tell you this. She is definitely not scoring eight goals in the KHL All-Star Game. Nope. Nope. I love when you this. She is definitely not scoring eight goals in the KHL All-Star Game. Nope. Nope. I love when he fell.

Starting point is 04:21:07 So the woman I'm seeing is ex-wife, right? Your father! He's ruling the country, George! They're trying to oust him! Putin might be single. When I Google Putin's wife, all I get is this ex-wife chick. I mean, Putin's a pretty cool guy I can't think of anything I dislike about him

Starting point is 04:21:28 he's real cool he's like killing journalists I Googled Putin's wife and found Putin's rumored girlfriend smoke show you know I'm going to look up Putin wife porn

Starting point is 04:21:45 parody. Let's see. This chick. A lot of attractive Russian men in this Google image search. Smoke show means good, right? A woman on a leash. Yeah, that's an attractive lady. See, that's how a man stands

Starting point is 04:22:04 next to his granddaughter appropriately. He looks way younger in this. This has got to be ages ago. Yeah, it looks like a good 10, 15 years ago. So she's gone rotten by now. Yeah. Goddamn shame. Well, I think that's a wrap, boys.

Starting point is 04:22:24 I really enjoyed Mr. Negron, you. Glad we got him. I really meant what I said. I've been a fan of his forever. Yeah, he's an awesome guy. Big fan of his. Links down below for all of the things. Do that stuff.

Starting point is 04:22:38 Patreon and whatever else we put in there. Yep, yep. Yeah. Tell us who you think the hottest First Lady of all time is. The most fuckable. Tell us who you think's the least fuckable of the last 15 years. Jesus, that's a short list.

Starting point is 04:23:00 I don't know, that First Lady's kind of yoked. P.K.A. 477. P.K.A. 477.

Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #477

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