Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #478

Starting point is 00:00:00 PKA episode 478 with our guest Filthy Robot, Kyle. Couple of sponsors tonight, Blue Chew, Smart Mouth, and Squarespace. We'll get to them later on the show, but yeah, we got our good friend Filthy back on with us. It's been a couple of days now, so it's good to see you. I guess. I have a... It's been a couple days. I have a video here.

Starting point is 00:00:23 Alright, I watched this. Well, I was just shocked. You know, sometimes you watch a video and every 30 seconds maybe they up the ante and it gets a little more and more outrageous, especially if you're on the public freakout subreddit. Of course. In this video, he ups the ante by the millisecond. Just by the millisecond, just by the millisecond he's ramping up he is on a

Starting point is 00:00:46 fucking rocket of debauchery all right this is outrageously inappropriate well quit the lollygagging and link us the vid i he did i already linked it there it is i'm even queued up at zero i'm ready to go did i get the Taylor's ready? Yes, yeah I'm good Ready, set, play At this whack ass funeral You already know Say Big Kenny from the hood They said Big Kenny the big homie Y'all already know where I'm from B

Starting point is 00:01:17 Look at this ugly nigga B Word of my mother I won't smack this nigga right here Say I won't smack this nigga Ooh nigga Mother, I won't smack this nigga right here. Say I won't smack this nigga. Oh, nigga. Man, coming out of the gate quick with a cool guy of the week contender. That's our man. That's our man. That big Kenny.

Starting point is 00:01:38 Big Kenny. Dude, the balls to just walk up and slap a corpse. That's even riskier than slapping a living man when there are that many people around. Way riskier. It's riskier than slapping a living woman. Yes. All the comments are like fake. Do you have anything to say this isn't fake?

Starting point is 00:02:01 I know Big Kenny. I spoke to him this afternoon. He was on two weeks ago yeah big Kenny was a guest he he's a corkslapper you know when I'm having fun watching a video I don't want people coming in but that's not real that's fake

Starting point is 00:02:18 that's not a real clip of Scarlett Johansson getting her ass I don't want that I am not fucking fact checkingchecking this. Come on, get to the bottom of this. Fuck you. It's probably true. I'll just work on that all night.

Starting point is 00:02:33 We're not doing it. More and more outrageous claims. Can't fucking take it anymore. We're going to be fact-check-testing. We're not doing it. Donald Trump is the greatest president you have ever been. Dr. Morrison, yeah, this is Woody.

Starting point is 00:02:50 Oh, yeah, no, I got the results back. It was good to get them so quickly. I want to talk to you about rigor mortis quickly, though. Well, fuck. I don't give a fuck if that's fake or not. That's some funny shit right there. I saw one the other week that i definitely thought was fake but it was hilarious it was the guy who's like

Starting point is 00:03:11 walking down the street and like slapping everybody who had a cigarette and like cursing him out it might even be the same guy but i was just like yeah he was like think about your lungs motherfucker pow like slaps the shit out of him and like takes their cigarettes out of their mouth and stuff and just no i don't care though this is this is funny i love this i want more of this i wanted this if bernie gets in and we all get healthcare we're gonna have to have a couple of judge dread bad motherfuckers like this guy stealing cigarettes out of people's mouths you know going around slapping burgers out of obese people's hands hey we're all on the same team now bitch you can't be doing that i think we thought about that as a logical conclusion of uh public health care like that should there not

Starting point is 00:03:53 be like a job creation you should have different rates based on your controllable health right i will give you some slack if you're a relatively fit 67 year old. But hell on earth, if you're a fat 22 year old. Once you get over 60, your cost of driving in the health care should absolutely skyrocket. It's like, all right, well, you're in pretty good shape. You can run, but I saw you pull into the lot, sir. And I'm not insuring you for that rate you're you're an animal you're an absolute animal one of your eyes looks like a 15 year old dog's eyes you know

Starting point is 00:04:30 we're not paying to get that fixed so yeah that makes sense that would be my my platform i don't think he's going to get a lot of a lot of support for that we're all gonna have to pull back on the things we enjoy like cigarettes and mcdonald's never mind go wild i'll be dead yeah so how's everybody doing filthy what's what's new with you still got that seasonal depressed feeling of being in cold and sadness it does seem to still be that season somehow um yep yeah waiting on that out i'm gonna be moving out of oshkosh that being in cold and sadness? It does seem to still be that season somehow. Yep. Waiting on that out. I'm going to be moving out of Oshkosh,

Starting point is 00:05:08 which is kind of nice, coming up in July. I'm continuing my fucking tour of the Midwest, going to Iowa next. Oh, you're going to love it there. The cultural hub of the Midwest. Yeah. Yeah, actually, I think... What's up, Woody?

Starting point is 00:05:21 I wanted to know what was spurring on the move. Oh, my wife's job okay yeah it's not exactly another position at a different university well exciting very cool yeah it's funny that you're like we're moving to iowa so it'll be a little warmer yeah so in iowa i hear they've got corn there too it's exciting stuff and wait it actually is gonna be i get back to a climbing gym which i'm super fucking psyched about i haven't had a climbing gym in almost two years up here so that's been killing me so uh it's gonna be nice yeah the midwest does there yeah i don't know how you survive out there taylor people are nice but i'm ready to be

Starting point is 00:06:00 somewhere else don't you ever just want to hang yourself? I mean, just day in and day out. Every morning. You're thinking New Jersey. I am thinking New Jersey. You know, it's tough to separate the causes, Kyle, right? Because we were talking about seasonal defective disorder a little bit last time, right? You know, it gets fucking cold and dreary and like you're feeling real shitty. But that's nine months of the year here. So are we sure it's seasonal or is it just maybe something like inherent to the Midwestwest and in general i think this is a shitty place you know not a lot's going

Starting point is 00:06:29 on there but why population density are super fucking nice there is actually a fair number of like where i've been uplifted around chicago the entire time i've been in the midwest which is a fairly happening city with a lot of shit going on oshkosh not so much a little bit further north but like i just can't i don't know what it is. I have no idea. My experience is driving through those places. I'll just say that I've driven the perimeter of the United States. I've been all over 40-something states.

Starting point is 00:06:56 You drive through Louisiana and it's like, oh, look at that. Look at this huge fucking bridge we're on. Have you ever seen a bridge this long? No, I think it's like 20 fucking miles. Cool. Oh, look, there's swamps and gators and cajuns but then you get to and all across the the south it's interesting stuff you know different landmarks you get to the southwest it's beautiful with the big rock red rock formations and then you drive through the midwest and it's like oh

Starting point is 00:07:21 look more corn yeah oh i think this is a different kind of corn. Yeah. Yeah. You're either in corn Midwest or you're in forest Midwest. That's pretty much. And then like the few cities. Yeah. Speckled around.

Starting point is 00:07:35 And that's about what you get in the middle. Even more boring. The most boring drive I ever had was through Wyoming. And it's just hilly Kansas with no corn, just desolate, dead grass. Try Idaho. The worst is coming back. I've driven through Idaho. I live in Idaho.

Starting point is 00:07:50 At least in Kansas, it's totally flat. Throw your car on cruise and you're good. Wyoming, some real steep hills there. Not steep enough or big enough to be exciting by any stretch, but steep enough to down your your fucking cruise control and so you'll have to be more on on guard and all those ridiculous like last stop 230 miles like what year is this how is that possible yeah there's nothing we were driving from um oregon uh across idaho and i remember there was this point leaving Oregon where there's all these warning signs. Fuel up now. Next gas station. 397 miles.

Starting point is 00:08:30 I'm like, I don't know if we'll make it. We've got a lot of gear. Should we buy a tank of gas? This is absurd. That was awful. The worst was coming back maybe eight years ago. I did a trip to Hawaii. We did it in the winter. I came back from Maui, Hawaii, coming back maybe like eight years ago so i did a trip to hawaii right and we did it in the winter and i came back from like maui hawaii coming back and then straight like landing in

Starting point is 00:08:50 chicago and driving out to us in graduate school to cal there and it's literally between chicago and decal which just gets more and more rural with more and more farms and more and more corn and it's all gray everything's the same color sky like like some like pavement you're driving on in like landscape and it's all this like like a little bit of snow not enough to be interesting not enough to be exciting but not enough to be like hospitable and you're just driving through that and you're like why do i live here what have i done wrong so the city is a testament to man's arrogance bobby yeah the city should not testament to man's arrogance, Bobby. The city should not exist.

Starting point is 00:09:32 120, it can't be that hot. And he steps out of the car. Oh, God. The depression's not just straight up being indoors? Because of cold weather? I'm doing fine, guys. I'm excited to get out of Oshkosh. I'm ready for the winter to be in. Move it to the hypothetical.

Starting point is 00:09:47 Do you think that depression is caused by being indoors too much? Is that what we're talking about? Probably some of it. Probably some of it's sunlight, for example. This is a room with no windows, and it's got bright lights for streaming, and it's great, but I spend a fuck ton of time in here. Not enough time outside, for sure.

Starting point is 00:10:03 Just a lot of social stuff kind of goes away for me during that kind of month. Not nearly enough time outside for sure um just a lot of like social stuff kind of goes away for me during the that kind of month so not nearly enough vitamin d for you yeah yeah gotta get the d you need a lot of d to get you through the winter in my experience it's got it's gonna perk you right up yep yeah that's that's just another shitty part about midwest weather is there's no winning at all someone in minnesota will be like oh you don't even understand what cold is and then someone in fucking florida will be like oh it's summer i'm also from florida too and it's hot down here but like in the midwest it's like well it's you know it's colder than you think it is and it's hotter than you think it is and we're getting

Starting point is 00:10:38 no credit for anything and it's like unlike at least like northern minnesota and wisconsin stuff like we'll get a lot of snow sometimes but mostly it's like all right at least like northern Minnesota and Wisconsin stuff, like we'll get a lot of snow sometimes. But mostly it's like, all right, we're going to get pouring rain. And then about an hour later, it's going to drop from 17 degrees to eight. And so it's going to look shitty, but be very, very dangerous to drive. Because it's like, oh, this fucks up. Summers suck too. Like the really much, the midsummers really blow.

Starting point is 00:11:04 Yeah, you're in the midwest too aren't you yeah yeah i mean it's cheap to live in the midwest so that's good yeah i mean it must be upsized i must just not have noticed them maybe yeah maybe your viewers will let us know what what we're missing here i mean next year when we don't win the stanley cup it's gonna be like why am i still here we did the thing you know I need to get out you got that really great parking lot looks like a library didn't somebody on your team like drop virtually dead the other night

Starting point is 00:11:32 didn't they like fucking drop out with like a cardiac arrest yeah they were 7 minutes into the game or 13 minutes into the game and Jay Boatmeister one of our defensemen he's been on the team for fucking ever the guy is like 36 37 years old which is ancient for our defensemen, he's been on the team for fucking ever. The guy is like 36, 37 years old, which is ancient for the NHL, but he's

Starting point is 00:11:48 also really fucking fit. He's another guy who doesn't look like he'd be in the NHL. He looks like he'd be a substitute 8th grade science teacher or something. And he was, like they replayed right after he fell on the bench what his most recent shift was. And they're like, maybe he got clipped. Maybe he got caught in the jaw

Starting point is 00:12:04 or something. And they played his shift. shift was. And they're like, maybe he got clipped. Maybe he got caught in the jaw or something. And they played his, his shift. Nothing happened. No contact. He just, the last thing he did was he flipped the puck and the other end skated to the bench, took one step onto the bench and then just passed out,

Starting point is 00:12:15 like just fell down. And everybody was like freaking out, paused the game. Apparently they had to use the defibrillator on him. Like his heart was so out of whack and so they buzzed him right on the fucking thing and then like they had a giant you know what they do like when football players or anybody gets like borderline paralyzed they strap him in that that thing and wheel him away and so they strapped him in that wheeled him away and then everybody

Starting point is 00:12:40 went to the locker room and like five minutes later they're like all right well the game's canceled uh wait nobody's really comfortable playing if they think that their teammate might have actually died or might be dying on the way to the hospital and the nhl commissioner and the and i'm ducks were gracious and even were like yeah we're we're gonna we're gonna take off for this one like nobody wants to play if someone that was just on the ice might be dead what was the score at the time it was one to one and so what's going to happen is they're going to restart the game with three periods full whenever they reschedule it whatever date and it'll start one to one that's how they'll do it okay so yeah hopefully he doesn't die like any other sport like how many

Starting point is 00:13:17 times in football you see someone like get fucking or soccer even right you would see someone get annihilated and then they're like ah you know they carry them off they go back the game never stops it's weird to hear that hockey yeah if you get like hit so hard that you're knocked out and they have to get to the hospital the game continues it was more just a thing of like a but out of the blue like this guy just had a heart attack and might die i think filthy's right about football though because in football you could die people have been paralyzed game just carries on like you don't know how bad it is. People leave the game having not regained consciousness yet. And everyone else is like, well, I guess what?

Starting point is 00:13:51 Put a dollar value at it then. Presumably, I assume that football is going to make more money than hockey, right? Well, of course. Per game, definitely. Sure. So I wonder at what level of monetization do you just keep playing? Could you find across sports that at some level is – you get down to like the junior leagues of some sort.

Starting point is 00:14:09 No one's going to – everything's going to stop. I wonder what they do in NASCAR. Like if somebody hit the wall early in the race and died, what would they do there? Would they just call the race off? Isn't that a highlight reel? They might. That's kind of a bummer. I don't know about NASCAR, but the thing is in football, these teams game plan for each other all week long like you you can't just do a do-over

Starting point is 00:14:29 like it's for all i know hockey teams show up and kind of like all right boys game number 73 of the season uh you know what are we gonna do oh we're gonna run the same system running all yeah right see how it matches up right but in football they've been looking at tendencies and crap like that. You can't just sort of easily redo it and squeeze one in. And in basketball and hockey, it's like there's 82 games in a season. You can mix and match. You can flip that around without anybody really noticing. Football, it's like, no, that's your day.

Starting point is 00:14:59 You got to finish the game or the whole league is out of whack. There's no back-to-back football games. Sometimes you get back-to-backs. It happens. Yeah. So I think he's not going to die. So hockey is kind of like baseball and its season goes on forever and they're always playing.

Starting point is 00:15:14 Baseball has 3,000 games a season. And hockey and basketball both have 82. Okay. Yeah. But I think Bo Meester is – I think he's going to retire. He would be foolish to get back out on the ice after that. You already have your cup. You've been playing since 2004.

Starting point is 00:15:30 You got so much fucking money. You're fine. Here's an OHL game that was cancelled after the goaltenders suffered a quote unquote gruesome leg injury. There's just a picture here of just tons of blood on the ice. That might be when a

Starting point is 00:15:45 guy uh got tripped and slid into him and it it like gashed his like all over the place looks like someone shot a deer there yeah yeah clint malarchuk he almost died when his throat got slit it's happening i'm surprised that doesn't happen more really a testament to the safety of the nhl i don't know what i don't know what this fucking website is. I scrolled down and there's a picture of a woman's bikini bottom fairly close up. Probably don't want to do that, Woody. And it says, women in sports,

Starting point is 00:16:14 colon, 50 camel toes. I'm clicking it. Women in sports, 50 camel toes. Oh, man. Oh, these are some... All right. This is quality. All right.

Starting point is 00:16:27 Oh, wow. Bookmark this for later. Oh, there's a video of that goalie one. This guy's bleeding all over the goddamn place. I don't think I can... I've moved on from that. Yeah. Oh, look at the high jumper.

Starting point is 00:16:39 Now, that is an impressive camel toe. That's an innie as well. Did you pass the volleyball player with the red shirt? Because this is top-notch shit. Oh yeah, I'm going for the class. I'm feeling left out now. Do I have to click this link? You gotta click the hockey link and then scroll down. How much software did you install going on for clicking

Starting point is 00:16:53 that link, Kyle? A little bit? It was worth it. A little malware. That's okay. We need to change topics. I'm not sharing all these camel toes. Well, rest assured. If you want to watch, go to TotalProsports.com and look for all these camel toes. Well, rest assured. If you want to watch, go to TotalProsports.com and look for sports women camel toes. This episode of PK is brought to you by pussy.

Starting point is 00:17:12 That's right. Do you see the Asian chick with the blue and white outfit? Oh, wow. She's got labia out. I know. That's not even a camel toe as much as it is a dental floss. I'll tell you this. If I had bangs like that, I'd show a little camel toe as well.

Starting point is 00:17:24 I want to be the official camel toe photographer of ESPN. That's all you do. There's like brilliant baseball plays happening and I'm just fixated on one like runner girl or whatever they Oh, that's a moose knuckle with that Australian basketball player. What is that?

Starting point is 00:17:39 This chick in her living room just doing back arches. Is this even a sport? It is now. She's in her living room just doing back arches. Is this even a sport? Yes. It is now. How do you not feel this? I don't have a vagina, but I feel like you would notice. Okay.

Starting point is 00:17:54 This girl's just pulling it up, showing it off. The one with the tennis racket, right? Yeah, she's like, look at my pussy. She's just pulling the front of her bicycle shorts up as hard as she can. We're on the same one now. I feel like that tennis racket is nothing but a prop at this point. Go two more and look at the really victorious camel toe lady and then look how uncomfortable the full body suit lady from Bahrain is. Presumably they do one or two of these particular articles on this

Starting point is 00:18:23 and then they do one where it's like spot the fake camel toe and they put in like one porn shot in the middle of like the 30 like nine camel toe shots they brought up here i've seen some of these are just like yeah because this one here i'm just catching up with the the fucking backbend oh look at the hot wheels girl all right i'm getting real into the weeds on this clip show. Get out of here. Ten minutes into the show and we're like, all right, now we're going to each individually look through 50 pictures. Yeah, right. If this is not what the people want, then I don't know what is.

Starting point is 00:18:57 Okay, this chick with the yellow lime bikini. Did you see it? Oh, yeah. Oh, I saw it. It's like a micro bikini. It's like a micro bikini. It barely covers her nipples. Okay, okay.

Starting point is 00:19:13 I said I've had enough, but she's still over there looking back at me. I'm still so disappointed that video was fake, Kyle. I still don't believe it is fake. I refuse to believe that yeah alright you know what I agree you do you reality is what you make it is what someone smart probably said

Starting point is 00:19:35 don't mess with Italian bikers notoriously tough Italian biker it's actually a bicyclist this is a cyclist who has had enough What kind of biker is that? A notoriously tough Italian biker. It's actually a bicyclist. This is a cyclist who has had enough of motorists giving him a hard time. And in this case, it's actually a fellow biker. I couldn't help but notice you're drifting into my lane. I'm ready.

Starting point is 00:19:58 All right. Three, two, one, play. Oh! Oh! 3, 2, 1, play. So this guy on a motorcycle just cut off a guy on a... On like a... Does he have a firework? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:14 So he starts... He cuts him off. So our cameraman starts loading rockets into the front of his bicycle and lighting them off with a torch lighter. And he's launching them at the motorcycle man who's maybe 50 yards ahead and he's incredibly effective with them like like like he's got his first rodeo he's got multi-fire rockets here he's got he had the lighter hand and he didn't bring one or two he didn't bring one or two candles look look at this look at this look ahead you can see the taillight of the bike

Starting point is 00:20:45 oh oh he got him he did he got him he's crashed and look here's the passenger he's running on foot this is still going. That guy is awesome. What did we just watch? We watched a little bit of street justice. Fun stuff. Yeah. I'm on the biker side because this is Europe and you're supposed to bike around there.

Starting point is 00:21:15 They're all smaller countries. I didn't see that coming. Yeah, that's great. And the accuracy with that. His little jerry-rigged thing with the tube on the side yeah that's ingenuity if that guy weren't lighting people aflame on the italian highway he could be inventing something right the back road the back road vibe from this that that speed i think this is kind of local i feel like you know like maybe he knew the guys and this had

Starting point is 00:21:44 happened before because he seemed really prepared, right? Like not your first time. You're not just out there like the first time like, oh, I got these rockets. I wonder what I'll launch tonight, you know? Yeah, you know, like how you prank your friends. No, he's done this shit before.

Starting point is 00:21:56 That is not his first rocket attack. Yeah, fucking good on you, Luigi. That's great. Yeah, I love a little street justice. And it's a little more tongue-in-cheek fun than like the russian lead pipe or baseball bat videos where they seem really kind of out for blood this guy just seemed like he was trying to like teach a little bit of common courtesy yeah that's one way to look at balance they don't seem to be very balanced under fire there do they

Starting point is 00:22:24 the yin and the yang. Did you see Rush Limbaugh talking shit about your boy, Woody? Only the headline that Trump was going to have a really great time with Buttigieg kissing his husband? Maybe something like that. Does that sound right? Yeah, I mean, pretty much. It's something about, you know, here's this 37-year-old gay man who just loves kissing his husband on the on the debate stage and yeah that's going to go over well and that that's about all he said he didn't like drop

Starting point is 00:22:52 any slurs or anything like that but they're really going after him hard i saw and biden you know like it's very quick to be like hey hey that was terrible what rush limbaugh said about my good friend Pete Buttigieg. It's... Actually, I'm gay too. I'm not. What am I saying? As a man who's gotten into quite a bit of trouble for kissing people. You can only get turned down by so many of your granddaughters before you try and swing for the

Starting point is 00:23:18 other team. That's logical. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I didn't think what he said was all that awful but you know it's clear what he's between the lines if all he said was he would have a lot of fun with it yeah of course Trump has a lot

Starting point is 00:23:34 of fun with a bunch of stupid jokes and nicknames like I think he was more saying that like America's not going to vote for that guy that like it's going to be he's not going to win I took it as it was going to be a fertile ground for trump like a good in the nickname realm yeah yeah like he was gonna provide him a lot of comedy material i think the man's name alone will be it will be plenty for that like who booty judge yeah oh i've worked as a booty judge. You are no booty judge.

Starting point is 00:24:07 I've actually appointed more booty judges than any president. It's not going to go over well. No, no. Well, it'll be, we're all strapped in for the ride. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like I have. It's not like all these people have enormous influence over our lives. Yeah, I don't know if the gay thing like we keep

Starting point is 00:24:25 saying it's a big problem but then on the other hand i'm like you know on the heels of 9-11 we elected a black guy named obama so that's possible i guess do you think yeah because it's an issue much of an issue at all really yeah yeah it's a huge issue you really think the gay thing's a big issue yeah because of the because of the the people that he needs as voters. Woody just mentioned Obama. Well, Obama got record numbers of black voters to vote for him, people who didn't normally vote, record numbers of Hispanic voters that normally wouldn't vote.

Starting point is 00:24:57 Those are two groups that are very religious and very intolerant per capita of homosexuals. The thing is, they'll stay home on election day because they're not excited about a gay guy. That's usually all it takes. It doesn't have to be like, I fucking hate that guy. It has to be like, I don't know.

Starting point is 00:25:15 And also, if you've got some like, if you're trying to pull Trump supporters away from Trump over to your side and you're trying to get those Rust Belt farmer guys that have an associate's degree like they're not coming over either you know those those good old boys out there and you know farming that corn aren't gonna aren't gonna leave trump for pete but they might for bernie or anyone else i agree with you i don't know we'll see they're gonna they're gonna keep

Starting point is 00:25:44 running this circus around the country for the next few months. I'm just glad it's getting to the point where they start chopping people off. Yeah. Where it's like, you're done. You're out of here. You're fired.

Starting point is 00:25:56 Get out. Like just chopping people down and then you finally get to the last couple. And that's when it gets a little more interesting. I wish they'd let me choose which ones. I wish they'd release an advert like that. Right? I would have kept Yang, but there's some others that have dropped.

Starting point is 00:26:07 Who is that guy? There's a picture of him. I felt like he had a chance to win this. He never felt like a candidate who was going to be one of the final tier candidates. So I liked him. I thought he was very interesting. He had a lot of interesting things to say. But I never felt like he was going to be worth the vote in the sense because

Starting point is 00:26:25 you need to, you need to win there. I like the guy also who like wrote, wrote the slide down sadly a while back. Do you know who I'm talking about? That's the fair. You know how they all go to like a fair and they eat food and they're like,

Starting point is 00:26:38 I'm not totally repulsed by all of you commoners. Look, I'm eating, I'm eating your gross drivel. Let me find it. I think his name is Delaney. I like Yang the man. I didn't like UBI,

Starting point is 00:26:52 but he's still a good guy. Oh, perfect. Yeah, it was a little bit of a catch-all too for an explanation too, right? Like $1,000 a month, that won't be an issue. $1,000 a month, it won't be an issue.

Starting point is 00:27:03 I'm like, that doesn't go that far. You're overestimating. That was my guy. Yeah, that was John Delaney having zero fun on a giant slide. He looks like the before picture for the hair clump for men. He's sitting there with his arms all akimbo,

Starting point is 00:27:22 all weird, sitting on a burlap sack, whipping down that thing. Who dressed this man? There was some fucking research done before they dressed this man up like this and put him on this rug. Yeah, but no one told him what he should be doing on this ride. Yeah. He has no idea what to expect.

Starting point is 00:27:39 He's like, doing it right. He looks so fucking uncomfortable there. At least he was one of the young enough candidates to go down the slide without risking a cardiac yeah yeah and i like like he was easily the most jacked candidate i was about to say that is a muscular man you can tell he's filling that shirt out well yeah he has he's a no fun having muscly dude where's he from he looks like he might face off against the undertaker next week. That's a big dude. Yeah, I don't know who the... I don't care where he's from.

Starting point is 00:28:11 John DeLay. Don't bring facts into this conversation. When you blow up that picture of his face, he looks absolutely retarded. I did for everybody. Yeah, just sitting there. I've got to hide my lips and not let people know how terrified I am of slides. He looks like the retarded kid from Dreamcatcher. Like, this is a...

Starting point is 00:28:31 Remember that? That was Wahlberg. Donnie Wahlberg. Yeah. Yeah. Shades of Donnie Wahlberg in that movie, definitely. No, that was Donnie Wahlberg. That was the actor playing him.

Starting point is 00:28:43 I know. I'm saying that this guy is shades of Donnie Wahlberg. Okay, yeah. If anyone doesn't get that reference, Google Dreamcatcher Donnie Wahlberg. Duddits. We need to just get rid of the pretense of democracy and do

Starting point is 00:28:58 an America's Got Talent style show where maybe this year we go with the yo-yo-er and everybody gets to text in to vote and you get 10 votes and at the end of it you know you get your brand new president right could it be worse than what we've done that's you know i think it would be better because as a guy was telling us that you're in a random person on the street no experience with politics better Better or worse than Trump?

Starting point is 00:29:26 Worse. Yeah, worse, but maybe funnier. Really? I think less funny. What would be worse, out of curiosity? What do you think? Where's the skill set? What's the skill set that he's bringing? Like a meth head would be worse.

Starting point is 00:29:42 But random average guy upstream. Yeah, I think if you brought a random average guy, he would be even less informed right you know a lot of guys are just straight up not even paying attention to the the global issues and trump at least like even if you don't think he's informed he's passionate about it he watches the news that's his hobby he's he's a he's a fox guy and he knows everything they say on fox and which is a good bit of geopolitical politics it's going to be more than a random guy who probably can't name the vp yeah i was i didn't say anything i'm just gonna let you let that one slide but geopolitical

Starting point is 00:30:15 affairs let's go with that geopolitical affairs any geo in front of it. Geopolitical Earth politics. Yeah. He seems to know. Yeah, I agree with Woody on that. I think that Trump is... I mean, I thought Trump... I still prefer him over Hillary. I still do.

Starting point is 00:30:37 I can't think of anyone I would prefer less than her, though. I... Shit. Elizabeth Warren. Yeah. Elizabeth Warren for me. think of anyone i would prefer less than her though i shit elizabeth warren yeah i was watching a whole um you know you watch one right wing video every five minutes for two years and suddenly youtube starts recommending. Anyway, I was watching who's the guy from Fox News that's very popular. He's got a lot of hair.

Starting point is 00:31:11 Britt? Tucker. Tucker Carlson. Yeah, Tucker Carlson was playing this montage of Elizabeth Warren and some of the baddier things that she said that I had no idea. She was like, it was one of her main cabinet positions. She was like, I'm going to, it was like one of her main

Starting point is 00:31:25 cabinet positions. She's like, I'm going to pick a trans person for that. And I'm going to, I'm, but no, she's, I'm going to have a committee of trans people choose this cabinet position. And only when they are satisfied that this person will truly represent them will I put the and I'm just like oh shouldn't you pick the best person for the job like is it like a cabinet of trans people what is I think she was looking for a committee of trans people like the secretary of defense

Starting point is 00:31:55 secretary of defense well that's not a very good system then it was absurd and and like people it was so fun to look at the crowd around all of us are totally fucked if we ever tried to run for politics anything you could do anything you say take it out of context fucks you right like what who hasn't said something dumb on this show or like you know how much of my life uploaded well other than woody of course

Starting point is 00:32:17 shit out of everything he says but for all the rest of us you know like when you know that stuff's online it's there forever take it out of context you're screwed with it keep it in context it's still pretty awful yeah yeah i don't think context is gonna save me all the time i mean but like eventually it'll just be such a sea of piss that it won't matter that much where it'll be like 2050 i imagine it'll be like well uh president uh johnson is running against President Lila Stevenson. And it turns out in 2030, he sent her a dick pic. Is this assault? And it's like, actually, I would say no, because here's a picture of a pussy she sent prior.

Starting point is 00:32:58 Oh, a huge bombshell on, you know, now all Internet news after CNN, MSNBC, and Fox were out of business 30 years ago. So, yeah, eventually it'll become not that big a deal, I think. Like, everybody's going to be sexting and do a degenerate shit to the point that... No one's watching my porns anymore. No. No one ever started watching mine. I just get insults like,

Starting point is 00:33:20 you're fat. I can't see your tits past your head. Stuff like that. You're fat. I can't see her tits past your head. Stuff like that. I can't brag. It was all wrong with this guy.

Starting point is 00:33:30 Always. Yeah. Just balls and male ass. Who likes this? Who likes this? Oh, speaking of that, I was watching some of the new Sunny. I still hadn't watched the most recent season.

Starting point is 00:33:43 I haven't seen most of it still. But I watched a couple, and they should have just canceled that show a couple years ago. It is a shadow of what it used to be. It wasn't a good season. They had two or three good episodes. Yeah, and I must have not got to those yet because I was not laughing. The Wade Boggs one with the all-girl remake.

Starting point is 00:34:02 First of all, I didn't think the original Wade Boggs one was that funny. No, it wasn't. It was just forced and stupid and then they to remake an episode that wasn't even a big fan favorite it's like you're just being fucking lazy now guys come on yeah like we make a popular one if anything if anything they were making fun of the idea of doing like girl remakes right like like that was the core thing being likeed. I got it. It just didn't make it funny, though. Yeah. I think Ghostbusters did it earnestly, though. Oh, Ghostbusters did do it earnestly. They were making fun of films like Ghostbusters.

Starting point is 00:34:35 Yeah. I watched episode six of The Outsider. It keeps getting better and better. I don't want to give anything away for anyone out there who hasn't seen it yet. Have you watched any, Filthy? I gotta go Google which one that is. My wife watches a lot of television. I don't want to give anything away for anyone out there who hasn't seen it yet. Have you watched any Filthy? I don't know. I've got to go Google which one that is. My wife watches a lot of television and I don't.

Starting point is 00:34:48 My Twitch chat agrees with the recommendation. I'm not caught up yet, but they said it's legit. Yeah. It's the best thing on TV right now. And I think that on the Oh yeah, my wife's definitely watching this. Ozark, March 27th,

Starting point is 00:35:04 new season of that. So get that to look forward to. Yeah, that show kicks ass. I have a non-spoiler question. Is this the kind of show that can have a season two and three? I don't think so. Okay. Yeah, I think it's more of a miniseries, Band of Brothers now.

Starting point is 00:35:15 Okay. You could do it like True Detective. I don't know. They could get to have. You can do. Go on, Kyle. It doesn't seem like it's headed that way, but if they really wanted to, and I don't think they will um i could totally see like i don't think this is a spoiler to say the black girl character who's very quirky she could be like you don't understand it wasn't just

Starting point is 00:35:35 this look what i found and then it could become almost like her traveling around like doing more of this sort of thing that she's doing right now but i don't think they're going to go that angle i i'm hoping that it's just this one season. I think a lot of things are better when you just have a self-contained story and it's over. I'm so glad The Watchmen got canceled and they're not doing a second season. Oh, that already got canceled? I thought they were spending

Starting point is 00:35:56 oodles of money on that. I didn't really like that show either. It got better as you got further into it, but the first couple were so bad at grabbing you. You're just like, what the fuck is going on and why would I care? I gotta be honest, I didn't like that they made Dr. Manhattan black. He shouldn't be white or black. He should be blue.

Starting point is 00:36:12 He's supposed to be blue, right? Yeah. He's gotta start somewhere, right? Because he's a human who's transformed. Well, he started as white in the comic. Who cares? And Kyle is a purist. He's a purist of that. If they try and remake Shaka Zulu and it's some Irish dude applying SPF 75

Starting point is 00:36:27 prior to the battle, nah. You've lost me. I'm not interested. He's up there with that fucking shield. That would be hilarious if there's just one ginger. They won't take our homeland. They won't do it. They might have a hot and terrible.

Starting point is 00:36:41 They won't take our homeland. They won't do it. They might have a whole ton of terrible. But he's the only person cast that way. Everybody else is clearly West African. Everybody else is from the Bantu tribe, clearly West African. When it begins,

Starting point is 00:36:59 he's hanging with his family and it's like the beginning of The Jerk with Steve Martin. No one got that reference you know you've never seen the art so this is called the jerk with steve martin he's raised by a black family from birth and he has no idea that he's not black and it begins and they're all in their little house like singing and clapping and he's the only one who can't keep because he's white has no rhythm it's yeah it's really good and of course like steve martin's hair has been white since he was like 25 or something like that so he's white and has no rhythm. Yeah, it's really good. And of course, like, Steve Martin's hair has been white since he was like 25 or something

Starting point is 00:37:28 like that, so he's playing like an 18-year-old. But he's Steve Martin with the white hair, clearly in his 30s or something. It's good. It's funny. The Jerk. Very good movie. Well, this would be a good movie, too. An Irish Shaka Zulu. You know what? My own idea just now made me okay with black

Starting point is 00:37:43 Dr. Manhattan. That's fine. I like to think that there's... Coming from someone who didn't care either way anyway. I like to think there were four assholes on a phone call like, guys, we get this. Let's make Dr. Manhattan black. It just didn't make any sense. And then, like...

Starting point is 00:38:00 The only good... There was only one white character who wasn't a villain and he was a buffoon with who was like a shell-shocked ptsd ridden buffoon hiding in his basement in a bunker and he's the he's the only white male character straight character no i was gonna say like but so the point being like like that the only non-villain character they're all pretty villainous i don't feel like they're all the main characters or the black female police officer who the who wears the non-particularly virtuous not virtuous but in that world she's

Starting point is 00:38:36 definitely on the on the side of good yeah i mean i guess like certainly maybe like as a whole but like i was really like so that like everyone i thought everyone in that i thought they did uh I mean, I guess, like, certainly maybe, like, as a whole, but, like, I was shocked. Like, everyone, I thought everyone in that, I thought they did, if anything, a fairly decent job of portraying that as a pretty morally compromised existence for pretty much everyone there. The main villain is the KKK. You see, that's well nuanced. Really? Like, the people, though, were all shitty.

Starting point is 00:39:05 Like all of them. All the heroes were all deeply flawed heroes. Sure, sure. That's true. But when I felt like there was a lot going on there, it's just like our the main hero is a black woman. I mean, that guy's being the KKK is so funny where it's like, we're going to get them, boys. I mean, that guy's being the KKK is so funny where it's like, we're going to get them, boys. And it's like, Cleetus, Cleetus, the mayor said no to our attempt to go to the park and protest.

Starting point is 00:39:32 He didn't stamp our seal. And he's like, well, fuck. There's always next year, boys. And they just turn around and leave like three dozen retards. There was a lot of nonsense. I watched every bit of that show and every episode. I'm just going. And then they went back in time and they made another character not just black, but gay, a gay black. I mean, clearly this didn't play well if they spent a fuck ton of money and they're not like renewing it. Yeah. And it's a huge property and it's a it's comic themed like it just seems

Starting point is 00:40:03 like if they hadn't been so outrageously woke that they could have had a real hit on their hands yeah dude if fucking you don't agree that going back and and turning like the the first superhero into a black game irrelevant i i like i i'm i'm very anti anti woke shit and i'm really not trying to just virtue signal here from like being like but i i just don't care like that woke shit and i'm really not trying to just virtue signal here from like being like but i i just don't care like that's such a non-issue for me to give a shit about like i i didn't like that that show but i didn't like it on its i didn't like it on its own merits like not because it changed the fucking character's race and race character to be fair i

Starting point is 00:40:39 had no idea what the existing race was so maybe it would offend me more if i was like a fan of like the canon of that or something but like mostly ambiguous but there's a couple of clues that lead you to believe this is a white man because at one point he always wears that stupid mask but you can see the outline of his eyes of course in the show they're like oh it was a black man putting makeup on his eyes that's what it was the whole time kyle counterpoint dr manhattan's dick is enormous. It's huge. Yeah, which leads me to believe it was supposed to be a black man. Doesn't he have the ability to change anything at any time for any reason?

Starting point is 00:41:11 He is single-handedly double-penetrating. Like he can just open a bank vault or blow up a planet. Oh, far more powerful than that. He can freeze time. I know, I did a bit of a gap there between blow up a bank vault and... He could pick a lock and destroy the moon!

Starting point is 00:41:26 All this. Everything in between. I'm just saying... Crush an ant or crush the world. He can rearrange all the particles in the universe and he's really good with a dart gun. He could do your taxes and fly faster than light.

Starting point is 00:41:43 I'm just saying, if the Lord of the Rings show comes out and some character's like, oh, hero, I'm rigorous. I'm not gonna care for that. You change this silly property however you want because it doesn't affect me. Yes, really.

Starting point is 00:41:58 I don't care for cultural appropriation. I saw a white girl with dreadlocks or braids, I should say, like African-style braids get tossed across a shopping mall yesterday. In real life? Where? Where did you see this? On the internet.

Starting point is 00:42:12 Nobody goes to shopping malls. What? I was at a shopping mall. This checks out as true. Nobody goes. It was just them and the cameraman. It's a death arena in there. There's nobody to help.

Starting point is 00:42:24 She threw this girl. It's a death arena in there. There's nobody to help. She threw this girl. That's what happens if you go to a mall now. They're like mass shooting at the local mall. Three killed. It's like motocross bikes in Mad Max armor. Yeah. It's a fucking thunderdome over at Macy's. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:42:43 She tossed this bitch like she was a rag doll. The other night, I woke up and I couldn't go back to sleep. It was like four in the morning and I just got on public freak out and I went top all. I just started scrolling and literally an hour and a half later, I'm just sitting

Starting point is 00:42:59 in here laughing to myself because there's so many great, great videos of people losing their fucking minds. You could tell you could see patterns. There was a while where Popeye's chicken freakouts were huge.

Starting point is 00:43:15 They were so hot. There's this great clip and it's like a local news report and they're at Popeyes and apparently Popeyes has ran out of chicken and they've got a sign out front that says we are out of chicken sandwiches

Starting point is 00:43:31 and they're interviewing customers and the customers are losing their fucking minds. She's at the drive-thru, like the box, and she's like, we got to feed our fucking kids out here. They hungry. You knew this was coming.

Starting point is 00:43:45 You knew we was going to eat that chicken two months ago. You knew. And well, now my children going to go hungry. And then another one comes up. This bullshit. I can't, I drove from two counties over.

Starting point is 00:43:57 They promised they had chicken and now they ain't no chicken. And then it gets this other guy and he goes, it appears that they're out of chicken, but you know, no big deal. We'll get a pizza. There's like a McDonald's candy corner to the people ranting about it. It's like, just go get a Whopper with cheese.

Starting point is 00:44:14 No, a Chick-fil-A. We've all been to a Whopper. Chick-fil-A is way, way better. Way better. Like you can't be next to one fast food restaurant without seeing another right there. They're all adjacent. They're everywhere.

Starting point is 00:44:28 There's literally a dozen options in every rinky-dink town across this whole fucking country do you ever see the video that explains that explains what why oh the competing places are so close to each other no i know there's tldr basically if they're not in the perfect place then they get an advantage over too much of the population and it explains it like this picture a beach and you're selling ice cream right you as the sole ice cream salesman goes in the middle now there's two you'd think you'd each go a third from the end but if you do that asshole woody is just going to set up in the middle and take two-thirds of the people and you're going to continue to be fucked until you become an asshole also and we

Starting point is 00:45:07 all land in the single best place. I didn't know there was that much math behind the placement of those. Besides selling stuff to people? Just behind the placement of those restaurants. I didn't know. This is why insurance is such a fucking scam because no matter which way you look

Starting point is 00:45:23 at it, you're always going to be outsmartedarted there someone has spent more time and effort figuring out how to dick you on insurance than you will ever get back from it that's why i don't buy so many things like we bought a car recently and they're like hey the electronics in this five grand if it breaks it's 7500 so you'll be glad you did it and i'm like like, I don't think so. I think that if this was a good deal, you wouldn't sell it to me. Straight up. And I didn't buy it. Here's the deal.

Starting point is 00:45:53 You pay us $100 a month, and if you have any collisions, you're covered. Not today, Allstate. I'm not having it. What's that, Geico? Oh! Not for you, Geico. If only you could do that but you're right you're required to do this so you know you end up like look my wife and i have this discussion probably

Starting point is 00:46:12 you know once every couple years when we have to go through this fucking shit again that's right she's like but i want to be covered in case of this or what if we break down and i'm just like think about just go through and think about the times in your life where that's happened think about what you paid for and think about what you paid over time for the cost of that. You always lose on that. Always. And yeah, it sucks in that moment. But rather than, you know, but just plan for that.

Starting point is 00:46:31 Like keep a fucking emergency fund or whatever you need to do for that. But like, it's just. I changed debit cards one time. My insurance lapped. I didn't know about it for 10 months. 10 months uninsured. You saved a lot of money. That's what I thought at the end. It wasn't

Starting point is 00:46:46 one of those things like, I feel like there's two ways to react to that. I'm sure we've all seen maybe that video of the Japanese man running across the little pole. They hook you up with this little cable so that you can do this scary run across a thin pole, really, really high up in the air. And he runs across and the rope just comes unclipped it was never clipped and he's like holy shit i just did the bravest thing in my life and i didn't realize it i had the complete opposite feeling i was like wow i just saved a whole bunch of money there maybe another 10 months let's let's roll the dice again no i immediately fucking called the insurance you know what doesn't save you money?

Starting point is 00:47:26 Delaying getting your car inspected. Turns out all that happens is you get a ticket, and then after you get it inspected, inspections due three months later. Sorry. Yeah. I once drove on expired plates for like nine or ten months. Same.

Starting point is 00:47:41 It was coming up on a year. And it was one of those times where you just don't notice for at least for like two months and then you think well you know in for a penny and for a pound i'm already two months in i'm gonna have to pay the little late fee anyway and you know you can't see the sticker on my plate like i've got a i've got a thing that goes around it. As a felon? Is that something you want to say? You watch your step. You watch your step. Is that something you really want to say to a felon? I got a tie before the show.

Starting point is 00:48:16 I got this little placard around my tag. It's nothing shitty or anything. It's not like Big Dicks Only Club. It's just something that's been on there forever. But it really effectively hides what, you know, the sticker. And I'm sure it's the same everywhere where every like year has its own color. That way the cop can quickly look and be like, oh, it's blue, not green.

Starting point is 00:48:38 Get him. Never got stopped. That was another thing that like Taylor, I just forgot. I just forgot to do it and a lot of time went by six or seven months but it's just like they get you no matter what it's just like taxes you know you go back and like oh it looks like you didn't buy one last year it's like yeah i forgot well i'm here now all right well you can pay for last year's and this year's and interest i wasn't even in the car when they got me. I was in a grocery store, and I came out, and there was a policeman waiting on me.

Starting point is 00:49:08 Is this your truck? Well, yeah, that's why the key fit. I didn't say that, but I thought it. And then he gave me a ticket. And it was like in a grocery store parking lot. I'm a universal citizen. I go by the maritime laws. My brother lost his license for a couple years in college because he had got done for underage drinking uh and he wasn't near a car they walked into his into his apartment which had someone

Starting point is 00:49:36 had left the door open or something like this or like left it cracked or something where he was asleep on his couch drunk at like 20 or something and he got done and lost his license in that state they inferred that he drove home no no there's no inferring it was just like it was like a zero tolerance kind of thing right where it was like and i don't remember the exact details of it although this happened like this but it was essentially because it was an alcohol related offense they took his license even though it had nothing to do with that shitty because his door was open they caught him being drunk in his own house yep yeah and it wasn't because they assumed he was driving it wasn't anything to do with that was just because they that was the punishment or part of the punishment process for that so it's pennsylvania was this a college dorm yeah

Starting point is 00:50:19 yep but if only we're closed really Really protecting and serving out there, huh? Yeah, it does sometimes feel that way. You know what I learned? If you ever want to show a cop something on your phone, you hold it. And they will probably intentionally try to hold your phone for you. Like, you know, you don't give the cop your phone. Otherwise, you've given the cop your phone. If you want him to see a picture or a video or something, that shit just in your hand yeah well the joke's on him mine's touch felt and if the wrong

Starting point is 00:50:50 person grabs it indiana jones style hep c blades pop out all over yeah that's gonna go your way in a court of law your honor the the officer did that to himself that's right my booby-trapped phone was entirely his fault. That is funny that you can get in trouble for booby traps on your own property, but then it also makes a lot of sense when I watched a YouTube video of meth heads where some cops were going into the house. Kyle's probably seen this. And they're checking around for things.

Starting point is 00:51:23 And one of the stairs going upstairs was a false stair and so if you made the mistake of stepping on it a giant like poleaxe swings down home alone style from the top with an enormous like sickle on the end and the guy

Starting point is 00:51:40 was like filming and he's like and now watch this he steps to the side I put my foot here and she goes it would have gone through like horror movie style just straight like knock your teeth out straight through the back of your neck would have been a gruesome way to go and there's so much duct tape on it and rope and tension that i don't like those methods of dexterity when i'm extremely inebriated it feels like that's not the right trap for a method i don't know i've never done mess i I don't know. Maybe you're really

Starting point is 00:52:06 alert on meth. You're drinking, so you don't want to do that. You might forget. On meth, though, they're coming home excited to tell their meth friends about the booby trap they've built. I would imagine. I don't use meth, but I am by far the most meth adjacent

Starting point is 00:52:21 of the four of us. I've done a lot of Adderall. Midwest is having a hard time tonight. Yeah. There's a bunch of those fuckers around here. I'm sure there are. There's probably a fucking gas station burning right now near Taylor.

Starting point is 00:52:37 Entirely possible. I mean, it's likely. I bet if I Google fucking Missouri gas station fire and sort by new laughter laughter laughter

Starting point is 00:52:51 I never thought to use that filter in that way that's exciting I could work for almost anything Kyle we'll see past hour laughter shootings near me past hour 2020 no i bet i bet we haven't had a single shooting ever since three people got shot four hours after new year's i don't you had a home explode four days ago a girl i went to school with

Starting point is 00:53:22 uh was in a neighborhood that you wouldn't have guessed had a meth lab and she had to like miss school once and i remember like people telling us like yeah did you hear about christine the house two doors down from her exploded because it was a meth lab and it tore off the her entire neighbor's house and the pieces of her house and so she's living at the marriott and i was like oh damn suck ass can't wait to make fun of her just kidding i didn't do that that would be mean but yeah meth meth i wonder if that's a no-no drug how old was she roughly we were probably 15 or 16 is the marriott kind of cool maybe when you're 15 like there's a change of page not if you're with your parents yeah Yeah. Then it's lame.

Starting point is 00:54:06 It depends how long it lasts, but I feel like if they're like, what are you going to spend? Whatever. Five days at the local hotel. It'd be fun to me. Yeah. If I was allowed to have like free reign of room service and kind of running around,

Starting point is 00:54:17 having fun service. What? Marriott room service. I don't know. I never order room service when i go out but every hotel has room service right i usually will just like walk down to whatever the closest restaurant is i can tell you this taylor not every motel has room service i know that for sure there's a fellow by the ice machine that'll hook you up with just about anything you want

Starting point is 00:54:40 i remember i was gonna go where uber eats is afraid to go we were going on a vacation i was maybe like nine and we were gonna stay in a motel and it was my mom dad me my siblings and we all get there and we're starting to unload and it's a shitty little motel very shitty you know and i i as a you know eight nine year old i have no conception of's just, oh, this is where we sleep until we get to the fun place when we drive there tomorrow. Okay, whatever. And we get in. My mom goes to use the bathroom.

Starting point is 00:55:12 And she comes out like, no, no. There are roaches all over that place. And my dad went in. He was like, there's like two roaches. I'm a dad. And I remember her coming back out and being like, we's like two roaches. I'm a dad. And I remember her coming back out and being like, we're not staying here. We're not staying here. Boys, we're leaving.

Starting point is 00:55:31 We're leaving. Hon, we're leaving. And I remember, because I don't have the perspective and I didn't actually go in the bathroom, my dad walking out under his breath being like, she's such a prima donna. And I was like, yeah, what a prima don donna i don't want to be around roaches claws but looking back i'm like yeah dad just take us somewhere that's not 42 a night my i've stayed in some really shitty motels my paramotor friend talks of one this is just like a year ago he gets in the motel he's already he's exhausted because they're busy days. And he pulls the covers up.

Starting point is 00:56:06 And that's when the cock ring revealed itself, which says two things. One, a cock ring was just used in that bed. And two, they used the same sheets. Right? Oh, that's terrible. Yeah, it's awesome. It came with a free cock ring, but he doesn't see it that way. Oh, you's terrible. Yeah, it's awesome. It came with a free cock ring, but he doesn't see it that way. What, you wanted a mint?

Starting point is 00:56:29 A cock ring for your pillow, sir. That's a 45 millimeter. What's your problem? This is a good one. Yeah. You bite it like the old 49ers. Battery's not dead yet. It's real golden.

Starting point is 00:56:46 Ah, yeah, that tastes like dick. Yeah. You want silicone there. Yeah. You're just squishing silicone cock rings between your teeth. What's your preference on cock rings, Kyle? What kind do you like? Silicone.

Starting point is 00:56:57 Yeah, yeah. Unless they're allergic. But some sort of rubber. You know, something stretchy. Yeah, those are definitely. Are you the one I had to explain how to use a cock ring that it went around your balls and your cock you may have had to uh i mean it's cock ring makes sense that it would just go around just around your paint no no it's got to go around your balls and we'll see then how are people supposed to use those metal ones

Starting point is 00:57:19 i've never used a metal one but how are you you just cram your balls in there and then you try to follow up by cramming your dick in there too. That sounds dangerous. Do they open? I don't know. I've never used a metal one. I wouldn't use a metal one. It seems dangerous.

Starting point is 00:57:39 We need to operate like a handcuff. Or close it and open it. I'm sure we all know that like it. So basically the story dates back to when I was in high school and, and I had a friend whose mother was a nurse at the local hospital and, and she told him the story and he told me, and then I told my parents and they were like, yeah, we heard that too. So 90% sure this actually happened,

Starting point is 00:58:00 but this guy had put rubber bands around his penis as a cock ring but the problem was like his penis swelled up quite a bit to the point where he couldn't get his finger underneath the rubber bands anymore what does he like and and now his penis is just swelling more and more and turning kind of purple and it's's clear that he is in trouble. So he has to go to the hospital. And they're like, I mean, we could try to cut those, but we're probably going to cut your penis pretty severely. And he's like, no, no, no.

Starting point is 00:58:33 Fucking safety scissors? Not that, not that. The rubber bands are like depressing onto his cock. Like imagine like, you know how, you know in the cartoons where you see those, those big links of sausage where they, they twist them and then the sausage and they twist another? This has happened to the man's cock, all right?

Starting point is 00:58:48 He's got two links instead of one now. And so the solution was literally to open up an artery, I guess, in his ankle area and drain blood out of him to lower the blood pressure so that was their solution. Bleeding. Bloodletting. Their solution was leeches. Bloodletting. How does that happen though?

Starting point is 00:59:16 Vampires. If they put leeches directly on the cock, maybe that would have been a more efficient solution. Or they just, I don't know if you remember True Blood the jason character had done a lot of vampire blood and in that in that fantasy world vampire blood is like the best designer drug ever ever like you fuck like a rabbit you're super strong you you're euphoric everything everything you could ever want from a drug you get it and and and you're supposed to take one individual drop that is a dose and he our character is is being arrested and he happens to have an entire vial of this shit and he doesn't

Starting point is 00:59:53 know what to do with it so he quickly downs the whole vial so now and he and he's wanted for rape and murder like he didn't do it he's very rapey right no he was just fucking this chick and then she got the totally hot blonde dude? Yes, Jason Stackhouse. He's my favorite. Mr. Abs himself. And so he's in the police station. And they're like, we found her naked.

Starting point is 01:00:15 She was tied to the bed in a state of undress. She'd been penetrated. And you look and Jason is getting an enormous erection. Because he's taking all the vampire. He's like, are you getting off on this? You sick fuck. And so Jason eventually gets released and he's trying to masturbate away the hard-on. He figures if he comes, it'll be gone.

Starting point is 01:00:35 We've all been there. He's just sitting there completely naked on the couch in front of the television watching porn. And he's just masturbating and he goes oh and he comes and he looks down at it and he just goes still he just starts again and after a while he just kind of zones out doing that and he looks down at his hand and there's a huge blister right across like like like from here to his thumb and he goes, oh no! Oh no! When he looks at his cock, his cock is covered in

Starting point is 01:01:09 blisters now. Oh no. How do you masturbate that long? Because he's on the beat. I'll notice along the way. That brings us to bluechew.com. I mean it knocks it right in. It's a natural flow. I got a...

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Starting point is 01:01:45 He's a busy man. Before you went to prison for that little bit, you had stockpiled like 500 or something. I was just curious if you'd gotten through that. That seems illegal. I wouldn't do a thing like that. That case didn't happen. When you pause your shipment, they ask for a reason

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Starting point is 01:03:24 Are you using rubber bands to get your dick hard like a retard? No. Don't go to the hospital and get a cut in your ankle and have to have them scope something up there and release your cock blood that way. Just get a pill online, and then you'll be a golden god of fucking. Your girlfriend's going to go, where's my loser boyfriend? Don't post advertising. It's not going to get you tanned. It won't make you tan, no.

Starting point is 01:03:47 But it'll make your dick hard and it'll make you able to fuck many times a night to the point that she's begging you to stop. And you say, I'm still hard. She goes, alright, I guess we're going until the blue chew wears off. Yeah, 36 hours. You saw what I did to that wall.

Starting point is 01:04:04 Yeah, humped it into submission. And I'll do the same to you, man. That's a throwback. Some of you get it, some of you won't. I don't. You see, Filthy, when we talk about abusing women now, we call them walls. Yeah. I see.

Starting point is 01:04:19 I hadn't caught on to that yet. But I will now process this entirely differently. Yeah, it's just like how Woody calls black people brothers now instead of that other thing i have heard that one i don't touch that other word not even if i'm quoting somebody it's an electrified word gotta be careful even if i mean if they try to sit next to me i can't keep track of that shit either like what like which which like i don't know i don't know my wife was talking my wife about this like i follow some of the streamers who have these issues, like Destiny's shit, where he had these issues

Starting point is 01:04:46 with what he can say personally versus not. And they're like, hard R, hard, with a soft A. And I'm like, I don't know what any of the fuck this means. Do you actually not know? No, I actually don't know. Are you baiting me right now? Because you're doing a goddamn good job at it. No, I'm not.

Starting point is 01:05:06 I'm just close. I'm just fucking close. are you baiting me right now because you're doing a goddamn good job at it no i'm those what is it you want to say anything at all go off king no i suppose not yeah because like taylor's been throwing retard left, right, and center tonight. Oh, but that follows the rule. Which rule? Well, if you're black, you can say the N-word. If you're gay, you can say the F-slur. And Taylor and I say the R-word. I'm thinking about sucking a dick so I can throw the F-word in there.

Starting point is 01:05:40 It's just a little bit of flavor. Don't ask me twice. And I also disagree with that filthy i think anyone in the audience would agree that it would be difficult to find even one instance of me saying the r slur i dare you to find 400 of me saying that i dare you you can't do it you can't do it because you guys probably have jobs i'm absolutely serious here i'm not i'm not just fucking around like for the cock although topic probably is enough to fuck around with like i don't know the difference between a hard r soft

Starting point is 01:06:12 r hard a what the fuck these other like when did we start doing this when was this a thing that happened where people are like distinguishing in this way right like i kind of i kind of caught the woke shit of no of this what is even the distinction in terms of would you enlighten him yeah tell me tell me these grades without putting yourself out here and some well i mean hard r is the the peak i'm not sure what you're confused about are you actually confused about the pronunciation of these words no i don't want you to just like go through them in that way i'm just like all right we're starting with things like soft A's and hard R's. Are you wondering why there's a differentiation between the two?

Starting point is 01:06:49 Yes, I think that's what I'm asking. Oh, because white people say it one way and black people say it one way. Like when a black person is saying it in sort of an affectionate kind of like, what's up my brother kind of way, they go with the ah at the end. However, when someone who looks like us uses it as something to throw in the face of a black person.

Starting point is 01:07:13 When a 100% Irishman like Kyle throws it in the face. 0.2% Sub-Saharan African, alright. I should be able to say it. At least the soft A. Yeah, at least the first three letters. Actually, those are just as bad as the rest it's almost worse that's even worse yeah so yeah that's just on the list of things you can't say now filthy i won't even you know what that's fascism

Starting point is 01:07:38 that's something yeah yeah i was confused for quite some time i thought well one it turns out when i try to say brother it sounds like brother to other people even though it's not what i'm going for and i'll overemphasize the a and i'm still getting it wrong i'm told so i don't even order sea salt and vinegar chips just to be safe so uh uh and i also thought in the context of quoting, right? Like if I were to read Tom Sawyer or Huck Finn, whatever it is, and it has that word in there that people would understand that I'm reading a book or quoting or misquoting. But it turns out that doesn't protect you either.

Starting point is 01:08:17 So now I have a no policy on that word. I'm not allowed in the house. I'm not allowed in the house. You're not allowed on my property. You ain't allowed around my daughter. I almost called it that and didn't. I skipped it over. You've got a video that's just called Mexican Says the N-Word. Yeah, it's a good video.

Starting point is 01:08:39 I previewed this. I watched this last night. All right. I'm ready. Let's watch. Are we watching this? Oh, yeah. Is this going to explain this to me?

Starting point is 01:08:47 It'll explain it well, yeah. It'll actually make it more confusing, frankly. Perfect. Ready, set, play. Thank you, brother. I love you, brother. I appreciate it, bro. So, all you niggas, whites and browns,

Starting point is 01:09:04 diners, taquachas. Si, si, I'm Mexican. I can say what's up, niggas. Que pasa, wey? Que pasa, wey? You sorry, shit? Hey, you sorry, shit? Hey, you sorry?

Starting point is 01:09:18 Hey, we make connection right there, wey? I didn't know which way that was going. I think that's the point right yeah as long as it's not a whitey or you know what Asians I don't think they can get away with it either I think Filipinos can

Starting point is 01:09:38 yes because they're Asian but they have Mexican last name yeah they're more mustardy they're a little spicier. Brown mustard, yeah. It's a technical term, right? I'd love to see an infographic on data is interesting or whatever on Reddit that broke down a tree of who can say it and who can't. Someone do that.

Starting point is 01:09:59 Someone do that and post it when you get banned. Send me the comments that they banned you for. Yeah, the exact banning reason. That would be banned. Send me the comments that you for. Yeah. The exact banning reason. That'd be nice. I think I can guess. Yeah. It's OK. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:10:12 YouTube is nearly as strict as Twitch with that. So it makes sense that you wouldn't. Or I guess most of your or I guess 100 percent of your YouTube content is repurposed Twitch stuff. Right. Filthy. No, not 100 percent, but a large portion of it. Yeah. OK. Yeah. And YouTube probably is. But I mean, that's not really in my vocabulary. stuff right filthy um no not 100 but a large portion of it yeah okay yeah and youtube probably

Starting point is 01:10:26 is but i mean that's not really in my vocabulary but like certain words were like growing up like you know the f word was in there for growing up and that was that took me when i started the f slur right yeah absolutely i don't see what i fucking call this the f word because the f word the f word is fuck there's's a couple of F words. All right. The F slur was in my vocabulary growing up in high school as just kind of like a generic insult, right? It was never tied to homosexuality particularly. I mean, it clearly was part of the insult, but it was never like, it was never designed to be like, when it was thrown around in like my growing up, it wasn't like, this is like a huge like,

Starting point is 01:11:04 what am I looking for like group oriented group focused insult this was just like people shitting on each other right yeah it was more like someone tripped in the lunchroom and they fell on their their tray before they got to the table you make fun of you call them exactly or and like when i started streaming full-time that was something like i occasionally would throw that out there and people were like you can't say that and i'm like oh i guess i'm gonna have to what are you gonna do in public again so oh no it just took a while to like train out of saying it was just like you know think about this try to find an insult that is not based on sexuality or like especially home like homophobic insults like reach for an insult that isn't about calling someone retarded or calling someone like a different sexuality jabroni it's not an insult right you should feel insulted

Starting point is 01:11:52 a bitch no it is about gender there's a bunch of racial ones maybe in your narrowly confined understanding of gender but bitch for me for me, trading cards, anyone. It just took a while. It took a while to find words that I could use to express annoyance or anger with someone without what I'm streaming that weren't charged with some sort of stuff. What I want? Oh, the WAP, right? That works. You can say that.

Starting point is 01:12:19 No, I don't think so. I don't think that works either, Woody. I'm not entirely certain about that. You can say whatever you want about Italians. They are not a protected class damn you can say anything just try it filthy i don't see what could go wrong all right i'll let i'll let you know why i got banned twitch headquarters watching your stream as an admin oh whoa what's going on maybe like a couple days ago i tweeted there was a joe rogan episode it was with um I believe you what happened. But now you go out of your league. No, thank you. Maybe like a couple days ago, I tweeted.

Starting point is 01:12:47 There was a Joe Rogan episode. It was with an astronaut. His name I've forgotten. I thought it was just an exceptionally good episode. Just real recent, right? Yeah. And the guy was super fat, super interesting, led this really, really cool life.

Starting point is 01:12:58 And I talked about all these different things he was doing in his life on the Joe Rogan show. And it was just a phenomenal guest for that. And I tweeted out that episode on my Twitter to on my Twitter it was like you know this is really fucking cool and I immediately got one of the first comments back was essentially um I don't like Joe Rogan because of his political views I'm just like what in the fuck yeah how is this related to anything here this is like you know the origin of that right he's good and then i mentioned this in channel like i think i was talking about today and one of my kind of like one of my mods was like

Starting point is 01:13:31 yeah i don't like joe rogan he's misogynistic i'm just like i watched a lot of joe rogan it seems really weird to me that that and i've heard this before i've heard this elsewhere that this type of shit gets like projected that way and it's just like i know this is this is for me a continuation of our previous conversation about this. This is the woke culture shit. And I really, I find myself, you know, granted, I'm a fucking white male living in Northern Wisconsin with limited, like limited social interaction to some degree with a lot of people,

Starting point is 01:13:57 but like the same level, I fucking really don't like this shit of like it getting gated. Like, why am I not able to make my own decisions? Why aren't people making their own decisions about this shit? Why is this kind of like this getting gated like why am i not able to make my own decisions why are people making their own decisions about this shit why is this kind of like this person's this person's a misogynist this person's like he got what was the other thing he gets transphobic so yeah yeah what happened was that um he said that he was probably going to vote for bernie sanders already or he might something kind of almost wishy-washy and so people who want to attack bernie sanders sort of um before that he's been hit with transphobia

Starting point is 01:14:26 Well, no, this is this is brand. This is it's gotten really big late It's so the people that want to attack Bernie Sanders So Bernie Sanders retweeted like Joe Rogan saying that or thanked him or something like that And as a way of attacking Bernie Sanders, they bring up his quote-unquote transphobia Which amounts to him saying that trans athletes shouldn't be competing against biological women especially in combat sports that's the most transphobic thing he said well you know he's joking around he is a professional fucking comedian yeah which by the way is a super fucking hard thing to have to regulate i'm so glad i have

Starting point is 01:15:00 no say in that whatsoever because do your fucking best to find a way that makes people feel treated equally and does your absolute best to treat people equally while acknowledging biological differences and acknowledging that changing the makeup of your body also fucks with your biology good luck trying to legislate that there's no happy middle line there that yeah they shouldn't be able to do it because they have they have very unfair advantages it seems obvious to me that like i agree with kyle well but what's the flip side of that goes pretty easily right like the flip side goes okay well we're not we don't want to take a group of people and say you can't compete in sports so what do you do what do you do i think you do that though yeah there's a lot of groups of people

Starting point is 01:15:37 that we say you can't compete in this i would say a similar rules i would say you know what you can only compete against others in the same space as you. And I'm sorry we don't have enough to field a big soccer league of former girls, but that's where we are. Yeah. And at a high school level or lower than that? My gosh. How unfair is it? I think it was Massachusetts or Connecticut long distance.

Starting point is 01:16:02 The super athletic guy with the great jeans going up against the shitty guy who's had like a, you know, there's differences there. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're going the other direction. Well, no, no, no. Because what level of difference is acceptable for these kind of, especially the low-key competitions? Forget for a second the harder questions of like Olympics or something, right?

Starting point is 01:16:21 But if one of the complaints is this excludes a whole group of people from being athletic which i agree with especially when you're looking at something like middle school or high school or whatever this happens like whenever you're starting to see these transitions occur do we care that much in that level yeah absolutely we looked at the shot put world record for women we can all break it because we're made to do that really fucking hard we can all break the world record for women's shot put this but when we're talking about combat sports in particular it's absurd there's we saw that report last week that study that showed that men have 164 percent the punching power of women in the study the the weakest man was much stronger than the strongest woman in the

Starting point is 01:17:02 study there are extreme outliers where there's some overlap, but that's incredibly extreme. What we're really talking about, especially in combat sports, is things like bone density and the effects of years and years of male testosterone. Your shoulders, your hips. And the requirements to say, oh oh yeah I'm a trans athlete now you're probably envisioning someone who's been on HRT for 8 years or something like that right and has

Starting point is 01:17:34 suffered a much lower level of testosterone but that's not required it can literally be like that South Park episode when the macho man Randy Savage just decides to declare himself a woman and starts dominating yeah which is the reference to the joe ergan stuff right which is like i think this is a fucking minefield trying to trying to legislate this because i don't think there's a good answer

Starting point is 01:17:58 that fits and there's a great answer no i don't agree with that answer hopefully because i don't think it solves the entire problem of it and the problem is it, what are we going to do with the whole group of people we're now excluding from this who have every right to be fucking involved in this as well? If you're biologically male, do you have a right to compete in sports that are reserved for biological females? I don't think that you necessarily

Starting point is 01:18:18 do. You can make a league for their own league, but A league of their own! There's one we can remake! There's the whole league of their own league but a league of their own i want to watch that there's one we can remake and the same reason that like for example like men's men's sports tend to be like overfunded relative to that more more money in that compared to female sports they tend to be more profitable well it's not well then you start appropriately funded because of how much more money it makes don't even want to touch that no no thoughts one way or the other on that but my point is are we going to really chop that into

Starting point is 01:18:50 yet another it's like we're going to add a third category and it's going to be trans athletes probably a fourth category because you're gonna have trans women and trans men i mean you can you might have to but i mean you can atomize it as much as you want and be like well but what about the guy who the male who has really good genetics versus the male who doesn't life isn't fair you know i really wish that i was six foot ten and naturally ripped and could eat whatever i want that'd be dope but like isn't that my point earlier but the wrong way around like if there's some biological advantage the fairness like do we start implementing it with dividing the men into different categories which first of all we do they're called different tiers of sports you know there's varsity jv there's there's like weight categories

Starting point is 01:19:28 but like and there are so many stories there was a huge huge like i think it was a lawsuit that came out this week where it was a bunch of high school girls being like hey we are signing this saying that we're losing scholarships we're training our fucking asses off to get into these competitions. And we're getting butt fucked by people or by trans women who just are, there's no way on earth that we can get trained to the point that we can compete with them. Like they're, they're breaking our records. Like it's,

Starting point is 01:19:57 it's depriving us of something that we feel we deserve. And so like, what is the argument for these girls? Like who just want to be able to do their sport and have a shot at first place yep i think that's i'm glad i don't have to legislate this but like my point to bring to go kind of backwards you know the origin of this was if he gets hit as a transphobic person for bringing up the challenge of this kind of shit like holy fuck well i'm screwed too because these these are

Starting point is 01:20:25 complicated matters and these are complicated matters that require thought and discussion and i don't know what other way to do something like that and you know thank fuck i'm not involved in any of that legislation but shit that's not that's not for me it's not clear-cut what an easy answer is for that i think it's more clear-cut i think the simplest thing is make it so it's a biological male league a biological female league and then you have, I guess, a trans league. That would struggle because the numbers of trans people are so limited. But rationally, internally, for your rationale, what is that? One v. one basketball tournament.

Starting point is 01:20:54 Exactly, exactly. That's going to be an issue, especially on a smaller rural high school or even a smaller area. I grew up in a – my high school was a small high school with a small number of competitors to draw from hypothetically i am my body i'm a senior in high school okay exactly the same no hormones nothing i say senior year i shave grow my hair out long i say i identify as a woman now i'm keeping the name taylor because it works okay i'm joining the wrestling team and i'm going to be a heavyweight and oh women's heavyweight starts at

Starting point is 01:21:26 we'll even say that there are women out there who are as heavy as I am in high school is that fair to the women at the other schools who wanted to compete that they have to compete against someone like me I like that you made it wrestling because you might buck fuck them literally I would

Starting point is 01:21:42 disagree I believe there are it's not even a belief thing there are physical differences between men and women on average right i'm just saying it's not fair to those women so i don't i don't disagree with that heavyweight but i also don't agree that's wrestling that's 220 pounds am i am i wrong about this like that's what it says here is it like a newer bracket they're 220 god damn they adapt in that shit as time goes on? You talked about the stress and the pressure of regulating it. I don't know if you could beat this girl.

Starting point is 01:22:08 I think this is interesting because Rogan's been under the microscope many times. And a lot of times he feels that pressure. It bugs him. With Phelan Fox, that's the name of the transgender female fighter. He's like, yeah, but I was right. Fuck all those people. He's like yeah but i was right fuck all those people you know he's like i i was just right she had man hands man skeleton man muscles she was a man in there she broke a woman's orbital bone in her face because that woman was fighting against a man and she didn't

Starting point is 01:22:37 tell anybody that she was trans like like people are fighting her without knowing it now like like to his credit joe rogan has said hey if she had came out and said, hey, I used to be a man, but now I'm a woman and I'm going to compete in the 145-pound division of the UFC, any women want to fight, let them raise their hands. If they want to fight a man, that's fine with me. But to force them to compete, to force them to compete not just in individual events But with the world records in their sport Imagine if there was a third fucking gender and there were some some but if there were Neanderthals still right and and the Neanderthal Was like I identify as a human. I'm gonna come down and play a little ball with you guys We'll be like whoa, what the fuck are you doing Mongo get the hell out of here?

Starting point is 01:23:26 You just crushed the world squad record the interesting thing about where I was going if I could just finish I He's felt the pressure on a lot of things when he did that Bernie endorsement He was like man the problem with this show is it's become too big and when I say something It can impact things in real life, and I don't like that. It's too big. He felt a pressure on it. With Phelan Fox, he's like, fuck y'all. I'm just right. And that's how I feel about being in that hypothetical position of legislating this. I would have no trouble with it.

Starting point is 01:23:57 Oh, what are you, transphobic? No, no. I just see the difference between people. Okay, but you guys still, I still haven't heard the solution, a working solution. You guys keep saying, okay, it's a different league. Or some of you, Kyle, are working solution you guys keep saying okay this is a different league or somebody yeah that's that's a real solution having a different but it isn't a real solution we can't all be winners it isn't workable for the numbers of people doing that it's not a matter of winners it's a matter of allowing like fucking high school athletics or college athletics to occur we want to be involved

Starting point is 01:24:20 in that but just not against girls there are leagues that don't exist, right? Like if I liked field hockey, they'd be like, sorry, Woody, there isn't enough players to field a men's field hockey team. Or saying you have to compete in the sex you were born as then. I don't know. It feels like a really imperfect solution

Starting point is 01:24:40 to that for me. It is. The world's imperfect. That's the whole point, right? We don't all get our way, and we should probably learn that early you know i i just feel like if i i and these these trans athletes that do this they know what they're doing like like what do you link this this this really because i could imagine i could imagine really because i could imagine loving a fucking sport and then if like you know if suddenly i'm like i don't feel like a guy anymore i don't feel like a man anymore i feel like a woman and i transition right i can still love that sport why can't that be independent of that and if i still

Starting point is 01:25:13 love that sport i still love that sport to that degree why wouldn't i want to compete in that it's because it's running she can run anywhere but she's choosing to go on a track and run against women for medals yeah i mean like there was one example of a trans woman who before she came out as or like as trans she was a runner for the men's team and she was a very middling middle of the pack not impressive at all becomes trans jumps into the women's thing and she's beating records by like a minute yeah like when you do that or that right like no i'm not i'm not saying it is i'm saying that that's just highlighting the extent to which it's not fair sure or the again even not fair

Starting point is 01:25:51 there's really no way to make anybody have well i mean about biological differences the place that's most pronounced has got to be um in uh in combat it's got to be in common and weightlifting things that are especially like upper body weightlifting like a bench press world record i i i'm gonna look real quick just i'm curious to see what the women's bench press world record is i'm gonna guess triple right i'm gonna guess the boys triple it is it what do you guys think 510 pounds so the women bench press record single lift equipped with shirt, which matters.

Starting point is 01:26:26 It's, you know, lifting shirt. Belongs to Sandra of Sweden. She lifted 517 pounds. That's incredible. I was close. I lost because I went under, but still. No, wait. I think you won.

Starting point is 01:26:39 I didn't bust. I didn't go over. No, I win. So 517. Taylor, any idea what the guy's record would be? 1,070. Jesus. So over twice as many.

Starting point is 01:26:50 Yeah. Right around double. And of course, they're all from fucking Northern Europe. Yeah. Thorne Bjornsson. Sorry, was that your guess or what you looked up? I was looking that up. My guess was 515.

Starting point is 01:27:01 Yeah. Or 510. I would never have guessed that a woman could bench press 500 pounds. It would be much less if you looked and got rid of the shirt thing. It would be much less than that because that's built to let people more than they can.

Starting point is 01:27:16 What if she's on steroids? Her T-level could be the highest on this call. Yeah. Steroids probably but let's see she's the world record bench press level those t levels came from a syringe but they are the highest bench press raw oh uh no not the men's but anyways i was i was just shocked how quickly that like went that route

Starting point is 01:27:46 when i was like linking a totally innocuous video from joe rogan and this fucking astronaut it was an incredible thing nothing about joe rogan i think i think he's an excellent interviewer i think he's an excellent medium for bringing these people i would never have found otherwise on and i love this fucking show for that and i actually find him i initially was kind of unimpressed with him and then as i kind of watched longer he's he's very subtle about his i think what he does is very very subtle like initially i'm like why does he keep derailing the fucking guests and disrupting this with questions about like aliens and like ufos and you know like random weird shit but he actually does an incredible job over time of drawing people out of presenting a kind of a conversation to keep things moving and

Starting point is 01:28:26 keep things interesting without actually presenting a whole hell of a lot of his ideas during most of that yeah i don't listen really good as an interviewer i haven't listened to a show in months and i usually only will hop on like i'll probably listen to the jim norton episode because i like jim norton and he's hilarious but like his political stuff like when i've listened to that in the past it's not like he's even getting in arguments it seems like rogan goes into those being like all right i'm going to kind of be a sounding board for their point of view so if he's with like a right-wing person he'll kind of adapt what they're saying go oh okay so you say this and then what comes from that oh okay and if

Starting point is 01:29:01 it's a left-wing person whatever he kind of oh and where do we go from here what would you like he's good at that like he really does seem to be a sounding board for people's opinions in the end but i granted i haven't listened to a political show of his in like a year ever since the bernie one that's the last one i listened to i like the bernie one i thought it was a pretty good one too yeah i think bernie came out i think that was a very good medium for i think pretty much any politician to talk because they've become less of a soundbite more of a human being joe rogan i'm telling, the only reason I'm still in this race is because of Alpha Brain. Otherwise, I would have gotten on the wrong bus and ended up in fucking Toledo months ago.

Starting point is 01:29:35 So, yeah, good for good for Joe Rogan making millions, making stacks. It almost sounded like he wasn't motivated by that like i think he enjoys doing the show and doesn't care about the money oh i i bet he cares about it but at the same time he's he's in like that echelon of wealth where it's like really like i really don't need i'm good he's like alex jones multi multi multi multi multi-millionaire right i i'm totally guessing he's worth 40 million i don't know i don't know he was worth 22 million according to web according to the unit a few years ago yeah so so but he shows on so well let's just guess he made 20 more there are a lot of people

Starting point is 01:30:15 at 20 30 40 million who feel like they're not nearly there yet you know they can there are people who just feel like that's not even halfway Rogan is like that seems like enough yeah does he have kids does he have one kid or something he has a couple of girls I think the two maybe mm-hmm nobody's got girls three it's two or three yeah yeah he really never talks about his family on his podcast that's he talks about him in his comedy show yeah he talks about like boys and girls at one point, and he's like, you know, I like girls.

Starting point is 01:30:49 I've got a wife. I've got daughters. I love them, but I could beat the fuck out of each and every one of them if I needed to. Even if I had the flu, it wouldn't hurt. I mean, Woody, you've got the flu right now, and you can take the task. Every member of your family.

Starting point is 01:31:05 Yeah. Freya was here today. Stan's no chance. Or George Foreman. You guys. Yeah. George Foreman Jr., yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:31:15 So I've got a... This actually plays into something you didn't consider filthy about the trans thing, and that is the incredible power of semen retention don't know about this now see I'll tweet

Starting point is 01:31:34 out for funny reddits and every so often you guys message me with a real banger and this is like so nofap is like just trying not to masturbate. My understanding, you know, just, I beat off too much. I got to cut it down.

Starting point is 01:31:50 This, these people are like no fap, but they are writing huge, just pages of info about how they feel that they're gaining like superpowers because they're not coming. Like literally they'll be like, and I'm walking around with a kind of Titan energy I've never felt before. And women that before would never give me the time of day, they're coming up to me. They're coming up to me. I had to tell a woman the other,

Starting point is 01:32:15 I was, there was one I was reading. I was getting really into this retardation the other night and I was reading it. And this guy was like, yeah. And I hadn't come for six weeks doing semen retention. My skin got better. I felt stronger. God, I'm so horny.

Starting point is 01:32:30 But he didn't even say that I added that. He's like, are you serious? And he's like, and this really, this dime piece that never would have looked at me. She came up to me at the bar. She started talking. That's his word. Came up to me at the bar. We started chatting and she wants to come back to my place.

Starting point is 01:32:45 And in my head, I'm thinking, am I going to waste my load on her? And so I tell her exactly what I'm doing with semen retention. And I see her eyes go wide with wonder. And I'm like, no, it's not wonder. It is terrified eyes. You're looking into a scared woman's eyes right now. Not even terrified. Relieved.

Starting point is 01:33:10 She is ecstatic. She's like, he told me now. Thank fuck. I don't have to go anywhere near him. We're done. No. We can walk away. End it at the bar.

Starting point is 01:33:17 There's a solution for all this. You explained this, bitch. Listen, I practice semen retention. I will fuck you, but I i drink it that shit doesn't leave the system it's how you keep your power yeah he's down it again yeah i drink cum for my health my own yeah here's like uh here's the beginning of one of their posts this is this is an unironic subreddit are you sure yes do you ever wonder when you read sometimes i read a subreddit i'm like is this is this a joke it's hard to tell

Starting point is 01:33:51 sometimes okay this is this is a real one and this is this is 1 15th of this guy's post uh there are 15 878 readers according to this yeah and 234 are4 years, we're here now. Yeah. Sperm creates life. That which creates life gives you life. I'm reading it the way he writes it. If held, it summons the spirit that enters the body.

Starting point is 01:34:13 Man provides the spirit. Life from the heavens. Women provide the vessel. Body, the material. A female's best interest is to seek the most powerful, potent sperm or spirit. It has been my personal experience.

Starting point is 01:34:24 They have an intuitive way of sniffing us out. Quality sperm is like honey, heroin, and cocaine mixed together. An aphrodisiac. Their biological body is designed by God to respond near instantly to such a man with the best quality sperm. Their lineage depends on it.

Starting point is 01:34:38 Logic must demand when you hold your sperm, your life, those around you will feel your life. The smell oozes from the pores in your skin. Energy radiates from within outwardly. It's a sexual aura that sends out a bat signal to women that screams, I'm virile! And man, do they come chasing. There's a lot more of this.

Starting point is 01:34:59 The quality of life sperm that inhabits the body and determines the intelligence, strength, virility, and future of that child. Females seek this out subconsciously and are totally unaware. I've easily attracted women most guys would call dime pieces, but it's just normal to me. I don't get anxious because the power within me makes me very calm, collected, patient, and in control. I have sexual discipline. It is by far the most difficult challenge you will ever take on, and if you do, since most men don't.

Starting point is 01:35:24 Everything else in life is easy compared to not ejaculating oh that's good yeah this i'm gonna go on a limb here i'm gonna agree with that last point like unironically agree with that last point like literally mentioned like okay some of my graduate work on um on uh on uh looking at the impact of sexual arousal on people right like looking looking into doing some studies for that right but also just like anecdotally like lifetime right like like that's a fuck like sex drives a really strong drive in me like that's a really large portion of drives that impact me it's not probably not as big as like food or water or something like that but it's like you know like

Starting point is 01:36:04 every you know every time period that that's fucking cycles that's not probably not as big as like food or water or something like that, but it's like, you know, like every, you know, every time period that that's fucking cycles, that's a strong urge. It changes how I look at people, changes how I interact with women. It changes how I interact with people in general, right? Like I see people differently. Like if I'm walking down a fucking street and it's a, you know, and I've just come from having sex, right? I see things differently than I do. If it's been a couple of days, right? I see women more, right i see things differently than i do if it's been a couple days right i see women more they pop out more i kind of like if i if i haven't had sex in a while this is literally for me impactually like you know value judgments aside on that you know it's kind of a weird fucking thing to say but it's a little bit out there for that perhaps but like so that that element

Starting point is 01:36:39 rides with me a little bit like that element of like or resonates a little bit with me right the idea that there is something to be said about that now the rest of it seems like total fucking craziness to me but like i do agree with your conceptions really i don't know i think it's something that's and i bring it up because i think it's something that's often ignored right and whoever who has ever fucking told you that have you ever heard anywhere from anyone ever as a as a male like growing into your life that like oh your sex drive is an actual thing it actually has ways in which it systematically changes your perception and that this is something that you will need to deal with as a human being for all of your life i think everybody like has an inherent understanding of that it's like the

Starting point is 01:37:21 what is it the mermaid effect where it's like if you're like a horny sailor who's been at sea with a bunch of dudes, anything with a pussy is going to be like, oh, damn, that's great. Whereas if you're around, you know, as this gentleman would put it, dime pieces all the time, you're not going to be nearly as

Starting point is 01:37:39 convinced. And he even included a quote from the great Pratik Koli, the reabsorption of the seminal fluid back into your blood is the best nutrition your body can ever get. So control your lust and don't waste seminal fluid for short-term pleasure. I think he's absorbing the cum that he's

Starting point is 01:37:56 not ejaculating. Kyle, this is coming from the Pratik Koli. Actually, I don't know. What happens there, Kyle? Your body just stops making more, just like blood. Does it? Yeah, if you don't bleed every day, your body's like, alright? Your body just stops making more. Just like blood. If you don't bleed every day, your body's like, alright, let's just maintain this level. I mean, recycle some blood cells.

Starting point is 01:38:14 But it's just being held in there. Stored. Just an Indian guy on Instagram? I thought he was going to be some sort of Dalai Lama type figure. Am I misremembering this? The sperm cells. Well, sperm is Am I misremembering this? The sperm cells... Well, sperm is a very small fraction of semen. Sure.

Starting point is 01:38:32 So you're saying that just the sperm is replaced, you're saying? Yeah, yeah. That's my understanding. And I've done volumes of research. And out of... Yeah, I was going to say, it sounds like you have. And out of curiosity, where do you think the no longer virulent sperm goes? You pee out.

Starting point is 01:38:48 I would say that we, well, I wouldn't know. I've never had any left over. Sure, sure. And I wasn't implying that you had. I didn't mean to insult you as a human being. I understood that you drain that as regularly and as hourly. Before we move on from this, I have to read this guy's posts of all of his benefits that he's got. Oh God.

Starting point is 01:39:09 Is it going to read like, what is it? Like, like, like marvel.com list of superpowers for an individual. Okay. It's a, yeah.

Starting point is 01:39:17 Women's reality. That's the name of the post. Hello. Over the past year, I've been a lurker on both red pill and S or a semen retention, I guess. Subreddits. I've glean lurker on both Red Pill and semen retention, I guess, subreddits. I've gleaned a lot of useful information out of both.

Starting point is 01:39:27 I can attribute a major shift in clean living in the semen retention forum. There is most certainly a spiritual element in a lot of the text in this subreddit, and I've had some really long streaks. So I do not doubt any of the magic spoken of here. My longest streak was six months ago, but I've noticed that usually a lot of the benefits begin at day 20 and slowly grow in power as the streak continues. Most notably, I've seen an episode about this. Well, that's the contest. But here's his list.

Starting point is 01:39:55 A glow to my skin slash sexier appearance. More energy, less sleep. Increased aggression. Willingness to be an asshole when needed. Unwillingness to be a doormat magnetism from both men and women magical synchronistic connection between thoughts and reality a more dreamlike surreal quality of reality increased ability to venture into higher spheres of consciousness the last one's the best i'm not making this up dmt oh did you read the next paragraph the red pill's also been super useful to me ah you lost me which is the what is the red pill

Starting point is 01:40:33 that's a female it's like a pickup artist uh oh it's like pickup artist stuff right where it's like ah you gotta call him a dumb bitch and then they'll come crawling back i have this idea it's knowing the truth about women. I wonder how they would describe themselves. Let's see what their number one is. Oh, it's quarantined. Oh, yes, please. I'll pop in. Pop in and say

Starting point is 01:40:55 hi to these guys. There's a lot of people on this subreddit. Yeah, this doesn't seem... How do you get laid like a warlord? Well, first you need to hop on your horse and storm the neighbor village. Maybe I'm misunderstanding this, but isn't the fact something like

Starting point is 01:41:14 you have twice as many female ancestors as you do male ancestors? Yes. And the idea and the rationale behind it is essentially women on average, it's like half of men women on average have one child and men on average have on average have half but the way it works out is basically it's two zero kind of thing yeah like that's that's that's the way it works out yeah

Starting point is 01:41:37 so it doesn't make sense to me am i yeah yeah you're missing it so okay so ready um you have twice as many you have twice as many female ancestors as you do male ancestors. And it works this way because it's because basically men, when they do mate and produce offspring, they tend to have two and it's not all men get to do this about. And if you think of the, apparently the way this works out is essentially roughly half the men have children and half the men have half the men have two children half the men have no children essentially and women are at tend to average across time have averaged one per roughly yeah it's like an absolute dog of a woman can get laid and have a baby whereas like a one out of ten guy nobody's nobody wants your your warlord it's not even one out of ten right

Starting point is 01:42:23 like with numbers like that four out of ten i guess whatever right but the point being that that that is that's an actual sexual competition is actually something that's relevant there right to some degree it's an actual drive that would make sense to have some some impact of that long term from that if those numbers are right and i've heard this numbers quote a couple times i maybe i'm misunderstanding this isn't something i i know outside of like podcasts so it's totally possible that that's the case but it's funny when i see things like this because this feels like this to me these read as like that group of guys that aren't having sex and aren't getting laid and aren't procreating when i read these things in the in the version of this yeah those guys would probably these guys

Starting point is 01:42:59 would probably agree because they're not willing to spill that magic seed that's right they're powerful now but not not in heaven. They're so powerful. I can't think of anything that I spend more frivolously. It's probably the thing I value least. It's free. The way I treat that stuff, it's just everywhere. Everywhere.

Starting point is 01:43:23 Anywhere. Same here. All the time. Was that what was on the refrigerator that was what was in the refrigerator the mayo the mayo jar that's that was the smell i said it was old baloney but no here's why society won't tell men about this superpower i'm like what every religion of all time has said don't beat off. No, but you guys are the hardcore rebels for not beating your meat.

Starting point is 01:43:52 Is this why those Catholic priests become they dress like wizards? Maybe some of them have actually attained a level of wizardry. Here's a question. If it were true that you did gain powers by not ejaculating,

Starting point is 01:44:08 what is your next move? The powers he just listed there. All sorts of... Like really clear skin? You're going to get great skin. You're going to not need to sleep. You're going to be aggressive. You're not going to be a doormat. You're going to be magnetic. You're going to be magically

Starting point is 01:44:23 synchronistic between thoughts and reality. You're going to be a doormat. You're going to be magnetic. You're going to be magically synchronistic between thoughts and reality. And then you're going to have a dreamlike, surreal quality of reality. This doesn't mean fucking anything. Yeah. Set all that aside and pick a moral. This is my last one. This is my last one.

Starting point is 01:44:36 Go ahead. No, what was the last one? I was saying the increased ability to venture into higher spheres of consciousness. Now, if that were a guarantee that I go three months retaining all my semen hoarding to come for myself,

Starting point is 01:44:49 and then I can like start like astral projecting and seeing out my third eye, I would, I would at least spend like a week on that higher plane until I got bored of it. And then I'd come and be like, well, I, you know,

Starting point is 01:45:00 I've seen it. We experienced it. It's probably a boring plane. You could just do some drugs and keep coming, though. You know what I mean? Like, drugs are cheap. Trust me. That, I'm going to make a post on this subreddit saying that.

Starting point is 01:45:14 Why don't you guys just beat off and do drugs? Yeah, try drugs, meditation, and sex. Those three things will cure whatever this is you're doing. Yeah. No, you're wrong, Filthy. This isn't nofap. Nofap, I think, according to to this post says you can fuck and come this is no no sperm for your lady nothing at all i believe with with maybe there's some sort of tantric uh technique for it for orgasming without

Starting point is 01:45:39 ejaculation now that if these guys were for real that's what they'd be all about not no all right so that's that's ejaculating without using manipulation with your hand what i'm referring to is orgasm without ejaculation like these guys are all using dildos on their prostate no no again no to who orgasm without ejaculation yeah like i don't know what your memories are from masturbation but i remember that as a kid being being young enough that was before you could produce a jack before ejaculation yeah yes but i'm talking about as an adult man less messy difficult for people to wrap their heads around i didn't know that stage existed fuck really really sucks i remember that i remember being oh i got so much beaten

Starting point is 01:46:27 and done prior yeah or like i was pissed when i became old enough that like ejaculate was part of that oh i still remember the first time i was like laying in my bed at like 11 or something like 11 or 12 i don't know and i was that was a good way to get to sleep yeah dude it was that was the best way it was like it was like oh it's bedtime and i was like oh you bet it's bedtime play with my dick and it was i remember once just doing it in my bed playing with my dick i was 11 or 12 and then finished and i felt all the wetness and i was like oh i guess i just peed a little and then went into the bathroom it was not pee it was white and gookie and thank god i just wiped it off and went back to bed and didn't like walk into my parents room with a lot of you know spider-man

Starting point is 01:47:17 i think it's ectoplasm are we haunted haunted? All I know for sure is it's salty. It tastes like bleach. Yeah, that was, man, that would be so nice if you could control your orgasms that way. To Kyle's point where it's like, eh, you know what? I'm just having a beat off. Just trying to fall asleep. No cum tonight. Then other times it's like oh i'm ready

Starting point is 01:47:45 to i'm ready to just release all of my spirituality you know it'd be pretty great much more convenient yeah i like to say i don't i spirituality that's a good one i'm not lending a lot of credence to what these guys are preaching yeah i probably just have other times i would go with no credence whatsoever um those are some insane people on the internet. What are you talking about? We have twice as many female ancestors as male ancestors, but half of our male ancestors were fucking wizards. Oh, wait, no, they weren't,

Starting point is 01:48:16 because they didn't get the test on their genes. The half that aren't our ancestors were wizards. You ever done a DNA test? I haven't. What for? Just to see your ancestry. Kyle did. He's Scottish.

Starting point is 01:48:33 Very Irish. English on both sides. English and then French. Both sides of my family. Irish on my mother's side. I'm like 4% Neanderthal. That's good numbers. Gotta pump those numbers up. Irish on my mother's side. Yeah. I'm like 4% Neanderthal. Okay. That's good numbers.

Starting point is 01:48:47 Yeah. Gotta pump those numbers up. I gotta find a hunchback Neanderthal lady out there somewhere. I'm gonna find myself a big, big browed bitch. Yeah. Like Neanderthal babies. They're gonna be so good at sports. That'd be great.

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Starting point is 01:50:17 I have a bully story. It's not mine. It's from Reddit. Do you want to hear it? Okay. I like bullies. Do this. My bully. I was eight years old and my dad and brothers moved across the country. My brother started high school. My dad started a new job. My mom and I stayed back so she could sell the house and we moved to join them.

Starting point is 01:50:36 During this time, my dad asked my uncle to keep an eye on my mom and I. While selling the house, we moved in with my uncle and his family. It was a different area and I had to go to a different school where I didn't know anyone. A few weeks into the school year, a much larger kid, two grades above me, decided that I would be his target for the year. It started small. He would just knock things out of my hand or push me when we crossed paths. He then started stealing things from me. I put up with it because I didn't think I had a choice at the time. I was working up the courage to fight back like my dad told me to, but this kid was huge and my courage wasn't building fast enough. One day I went to the bathroom during recess and I ran into him in the bathroom.

Starting point is 01:51:14 I knew that out of view of the teachers, it wasn't going to be fun. And as he expected, he pummeled me right up until the bell rang. Unfortunately for him, he left a lot of noticeable marks on my face. I had a fat lip, a shiner, a bloody nose. The teacher noticed this right away and sent me to the office. Once there, I was pissed and I told the principal everything. He called down the bully. The bully denied doing anything to me, ever. The principal knew he was lying, so he scheduled an appointment with both sets of parents. That night, my mom and uncle went with me and his parents went with him. Once in there, his parents constantly

Starting point is 01:51:47 denied that their kid did anything. They even said that I was bullying him. I was eight, and I could see how ridiculous that was. The principal had another meeting to be at, so he asked that we meet again the next night to resolve this. The bully's father

Starting point is 01:52:03 started complaining and saying that if I bully his son again, that he's going to be okay with his son defending himself. He made a point of saying that just because you lose the fight doesn't mean you're not the bully. Which I guess is technically true, except in this situation, his son was definitely the bully. Everyone agreed to meet the next night and we left the school. As we were getting into our cars, I love this. My uncle went over to the bully's father and put his arm around him. He walked him to where I assume he thought he was out of sight, but it wasn't.

Starting point is 01:52:34 My uncle beat this guy up really bad. And then as the bully's father was laying on the ground covered in his own blood, my uncle leaned in and said something. He came back and everyone remained silent for the rest of the night. The next day, my bully was not in class. That evening, we all went to meet up with the principal and the bully's father

Starting point is 01:52:55 looked like one of those UFC post-fight photos. Lumps and bruises everywhere. The principal asked what happened. My uncle responded by saying that the bully's father was bullying him and that he defended himself and that just because he lost the fight doesn't mean that he wasn't the bully the principal took a moment looked at the bully's father and asked is that true the bully's father looked at the principal and said yes sir he then said his son needed to say something my bully stood up and

Starting point is 01:53:27 began apologizing as he broke into tears he confessed to everything and said that he will never bully anyone ever again then the father apologized to me for not believing the way that he treated me my uncle looked at the principal and said i think we can accept that apology is there anything else the principal said. That's how it ends. I missed the first part of this. Is this in R slash shower fantasies? No, this is faker than a funeral bitch slap.

Starting point is 01:53:52 Don't you fact check me. Don't you do it. This is true. I choose it. This is like when I'm standing in the shower and I think of a comeback and I'm like, well, how about that? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:54:07 Yeah, that's how. Oh, yeah? Well, the joke stuck. How about you? No, that didn't happen. Well, you're the all-time bestseller. Just keeps piling up. And then my uncle leaned in

Starting point is 01:54:21 and said this. It was just like Rocky IV. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know about any of that. Yes, Henry, okay. Yes. Yeah. Okay.

Starting point is 01:54:29 Sorry, I thought my mic was fucking up. No, you're good. Yeah, that's like all those sexual stories you'll read on Reddit that I was making fun of a while back where it's like, today I fucked up by having my pants pulled around my ankles in front of the assembly of all the girls i was there and i was uh masturbating and then my crush came up and grabbed my dick behind the curtain and pulled my pants down and then they curtain open and i came all over the front it's like no you're just you're writing this with one hand about your fantasy of being humiliated in front of the classroom or something.

Starting point is 01:55:06 Zettle down, dude. Zettle down. That would be a really fun hobby to get into. Discovering a lot of personal story reddits and just making shit up and seeing how much traction you could get. That'd be a lot of fun. Someone spend a couple months on that and then DM me

Starting point is 01:55:22 all the stories that get up. Show me your success stories. Someone do the work and then DM me all the stories that get up. Show me your success stories. Someone do the work and then I'll take the credit. What was the other one where we made fun of that subreddit about telekinesis? People were like, you know, I've been focusing and now I can move an empty can. And then I went back to that subreddit like a week or two randomly after we talked about it on the show. Swamped our listeners just making a mockery. back to that subreddit like a week or two randomly after we talked about it on the show swamped our listeners just making a mockery

Starting point is 01:55:49 of telekinesis and I guarantee that's going to happen again with semen retention I hadn't come in three days and I got out of bed and I didn't feel the soft carpet I usually feel and I looked down and I was levitating I thought the carpet was gonna be crusty that's where i thought you were going i mean i mean you

Starting point is 01:56:12 can just offer a very simple challenge you can just you know if you what do you need three five what do you want for a cited evidence to support their theory of powers from not ejaculating i need to at least see a video of them like... Levitating. You don't want to ask for that. No, I'm joking. I don't know. There's no evidence for it.

Starting point is 01:56:31 I think you're a bigger person out on the internet than I am, but I'm pretty sure you still don't want to ask for that. Yeah, no, you don't. You don't. Yeah, there's no way to prove that. The only way would be to see their actual magic skills. And there's no way for someone to prove that they can see into a higher plane of consciousness.

Starting point is 01:56:46 What the fuck does that even mean? It doesn't mean anything. That's why they're saying it. It's like psychic shit, right? I don't know what the fuck that means. It's just nonsense. 24 days in a row or something and meditating right now? Tried that out?

Starting point is 01:56:59 Yeah, how are you feeling? Haven't found any higher planes yet. Keep hoping. Damn it. Are you feeling spiritual are nine out of ten dime pieces coming up to you on the street nine out of ten ten out of ten when you meditate does it take a long time for five minutes to pass and please don't say five minutes i realize what i said but like does time drag on i thought that would be my concern no it's

Starting point is 01:57:24 pretty relaxing. It took me a while. Like I have the trouble of like when I get up, like I'm motivated to do shit when I get up. Like I want to go stream. I like streaming. I want to like, you know, like I think of things in the morning and do them. Like, you know, work for my channel, whatever. Right. Like I get up, I'm ready to go.

Starting point is 01:57:38 So like for me, the biggest issue with meditating at the moment has been like getting up and actually committing that time and be willing to sit through that i do guided meditations and they're fine and i like them and i feel fine from it but it's not like i can't i'm doing it because i know there's health benefits for it but i haven't found any particular like there's no moment of like eureka for me like this has happened yet and maybe it will maybe it's like i'm pretty fucking new at this right why are we sure there's health benefits are there health benefits to other like forms of standing still like television or no no there aren't there's a lot of health benefits for meditation pretty pretty extensively researched and pretty extensively documented okay tell me more i don't know a lot more oh i'm sorry i thought you you know not an area of research for me just something that like i'm kind of like i should try this like there there doesn't seem to be a lot of downside in trying it and i'm still kind

Starting point is 01:58:28 of in the process of evaluating whether or not it fits for me but i've been trying it for a while and i'm like but to because you know the comment about higher planes kind of triggered that like moment for me not that i get any higher planes out of this mostly it's just about identifying what's going on inside and being able to kind of let it wash over you and not be like dominant what kind of uh guided meditation do you do like you're listening to an audio recording of someone yeah it's about 10 minutes each morning you're wasting your time exactly it's in trump's voice you're wasting your fucking time i've talked to a lot of people a lot of smart people saying what you're doing is fucking whatarded website like my Zombie calm you can Know really okay. It's probably still up. It's a meme a million years ago. I had an ex-girlfriend

Starting point is 01:59:13 Who did a transcendental meditation? but she also did this sort of guided meditation when she went to bed and So she'd play this recording on her cell phone, and it was, I can't recall exactly what it was, but it was like, you're a good person. It's like, like all these words of affirmation for this one. This is just literally like basically like trying to get you to recognize the distinction between thoughts and self and kind of maybe, maybe even those words aren't right. It's basically 10 minutes of just guided meditation for trying to meditate

Starting point is 01:59:45 that's what my new release for Patreon is going to be passive aggressive ASMR don't listen to what everyone's saying you're not a whore your father oh he's proud of you think of all the things he could be proud of

Starting point is 02:00:04 oh coming up for a start with one thing. Just one thing. Just one thing. You can't think of one thing, you whore. Mean ASMR. It's been extensively researched. Dude, that's pretty funny. I want you to execute on this.

Starting point is 02:00:23 Do a mean ASMR channel Did ASMR catch any of you Totally out of the fucking blue? Does that work for any of you? I heard this is some cognitive thing That some people just really react to this better than others But I've never met anyone who actually Cognitively reacts well to this

Starting point is 02:00:37 I've never met someone who's like yeah ASMR is my thing ASMR It's like when Chicks on youtube will like whisper at you and shit it's like i won't fall for it it's not like jack off instructions so no it's supposedly it's noise related stuff it's audio related stuff and it's often texture or sound related stuff so it might be like running grains of hand grains of rice through your hands oh yeah and there's a whole if you fucking get on twitch right now there's a whole

Starting point is 02:01:05 subsection of of i think it's probably live chat or something like this or whatever um but but just talking about there's a shit ton of youtube stuff up there it's extremely popular supposedly there's some cognitive element to it but i've never met anyone who actually says this shit does it for me this is the creepiest about the coronavirus Do you think coronavirus and ASMR probably hits the same population? I'm hoping that it solely hits that part of the population. That thing's kind of wild. I don't know if you've been watching any of the videos

Starting point is 02:01:33 out of China. We watched the other day the video of them spraying the... spraying that stuff on the streets to kill anything it touches. Yeah, absolutely it does. If there's barriers to that virus, you're probably good. No. Well, see, the issue is that this virus can live outside of a human host for three days.

Starting point is 02:01:54 Can it really? Yeah. Which is a very unusual thing. Another unusual thing that caught my attention was you can be a host for 14 days, a contagious host before you show symptoms that's really good for a virus though yes yeah yeah well because the ones that are too virulent kill you too quickly then it can't spread fast enough exactly exactly yeah yeah everybody this is a good virus folks my wife is worried about this shit she's looking this up night yeah i wanted to talk about this

Starting point is 02:02:21 like how much we were actually worried about it because Because I think last week, last PKA. Let's do it two things, right? One, before the conversation, let's take a fucking, like, where are our concern at? Now let's have the conversation. Let's do it again. So my concern is at a two. Out of 10? Yeah.

Starting point is 02:02:39 My biggest concern is I ordered a sex toy from China about a month and a half, two months ago. I don't know if you've ever done this, anyone. Four months later, you get a butt plug that you're never going to use. You know, like a shoddy craftsmanship. Yeah, yeah. But that thing's coming. It's coming. I'm mildly worried about that.

Starting point is 02:03:00 If it weren't for that butt plug, I'd be at a one out of ten right now. Just test it in a girl's ass first. Well, I... And then wait two two weeks it's a good insult i'm not i'm not a sharing anyway i i'm not concerned about myself at all and because here's why i think i could fight it off all right i believe in believe in myself. I haven't ejaculated in almost 90 days. That's going to give me the power required to fight off virtually any virus. You're going to levitate over it.

Starting point is 02:03:33 Absolutely. My body will repel any viral contagion that might even try to get in here. The quality of my skin will prevent the virus from entering me. I'm impervious. I'm impervious, essentially. I haven't entered anyone. prevent the virus from entering me. I'm impervious. I'm impervious, essentially. I haven't entered anyone.

Starting point is 02:03:48 The virus can't enter me. I'm just not worried about it at all for my own safety. However, I do think it's going to kill a lot of people. And I think last week my guess was, I was like, I bet it kills 500 more between now and next Thursday. And I think it did and i think it did i think it did more than that what's it at right now number right yeah i don't know i i don't know and isn't this all still going off of like chinese there's no way to know yeah you all i don't know how much it is and i'm not gonna look it's like you can go yourself and google that

Starting point is 02:04:23 You can go fuck yourself and google that Yeah What are the benefits of meditation What do you think they're doing in Paris, France I don't know Ain't no way to know Alright it says As of nine hours ago It says China officials fired

Starting point is 02:04:42 As coronavirus deaths surged past 1300 Oh I've seen this bitch rubbing her fucking microphone with her titties out yeah i saw that that's retarded you know what a good asmr was i don't know if this counts as asmr but it was watching that guy in australia who just wears shorts and then like bangs rocks together and builds huts and never talks if that's asmr then that's pretty but that's more i don't know if that's a fucking hub that's entirely different i think yeah because if he was just making those noises i'd be like this i don't fucking know i don't understand it like every time i see it like the first time i saw it i've about fouled in my chair i'm like what is this and how the fuck are

Starting point is 02:05:16 there so many people watching it so yeah this video i mean i don't want to i don't want to derail i just was trying to find i hate i hate that thing. I hate what that is. I wish one of those microphones would explode into shrapnel right next to your fucking face. Every time I fuck up my audio, the Twitch stream says it's ASMR. I'm into it.

Starting point is 02:05:38 I'm into it. I'll say how worried am I personally? I wanted Woody next. Woody, go for it. I don say, how worried am I personally? I wanted Woody next. Oh, Woody, go for it. Oh, I don't know how to measure it, right? If I say I think that 5,000 Americans will die and I won't know one of them, what's my scale on that?

Starting point is 02:05:58 Does that make me an 8, a 10? That's personally for you. I don't know. What's your scale if 5,000 Americans die? It's almost two 9-11s. No, that's, yeah. That's a never forget kind of scenario is what it is. I'm going to say that it starts turning around in three weeks.

Starting point is 02:06:16 It puts me at a four. Four. Okay. I'm going to say three. Right in the middle. Okay. Because I don't think it's going to say three right in the middle because I don't think it's going to get that real here maybe and it also seems

Starting point is 02:06:31 to be just targeting the elderly and the infirm for the most part and the young and so like we're all of us are probably pretty safe I don't know I feel like I'm somewhere at a zero or one you see them welding people into their

Starting point is 02:06:46 houses well but here's why right yeah i don't know maybe but like okay a couple things first right like forget about the this is the separate how worried we are that's what you asked right not like how like negative do we think this is like surely people dying sucks ass right and we prefer not to have that happen we can We can ignore that element of it. Kyle likes... Sorry, Kyle. I don't mean to put words in your mouth. You can clarify that later. I was just mouthing horrible insults to Taylor. No, it's fine.

Starting point is 02:07:14 It's all part of the course. That's the gateway to ASMR. But you go fuck yourself, you lose. Yeah, that's what I listen to as I go to bed. You're fat. You're fat. You're very fat. Avoid midnight snacking. I need that. Please put that tape together.

Starting point is 02:07:35 How about you have another handful of cashews? Oink, oink, oink. What are the dreams you would have? What are the dreams you would have? Just like a bag of pork rinds attacking me or something you would just wake up sleepwalking with a handful of cash what the fuck how did I get a 7-11 that's hilarious

Starting point is 02:07:56 you know how when fat people will be like I'm not fat it's glandular it's somebody who says that but their glandular disorder has to do with sleep walking and they don't even know that they're overeating that's hilarious oh that is fucked yeah that's actually fucked if that's somebody's problem like slices of american cheese by themselves with their eyes closed at three like you know i i didn't eat for two days i took the biggest shit ever this morning i don't know where it's coming from

Starting point is 02:08:22 I took the biggest shit ever this morning. I don't know where it's coming from. All that semen building up. That's the weight gain. Just a belly full of gum waiting to unload like I tripped a bucket over. Anyway, Phil, were you going to drop some knowledge

Starting point is 02:08:44 on the... I just wantually kind of work through some of these thoughts right which is okay first of us do any of us believe the chinese numbers at all no i think they're higher than whatever what the chinese are saying whatever they're saying is designed to show to put the best presentation on how china deals with an epidemic and therefore i would just multiply it by some i don't know i don't know what the factor would be five pr yeah i would say about five it seems good okay if not higher they would be i bet there are children starving to death inside their homes because their houses got welded shut and their parents in the hospital nobody knows it yeah that'd be terrible well what's the um you said 1300 infected no no? No. No, 1,300 dead.

Starting point is 02:09:25 Yeah. Was the infected number in there too? Tens of thousands. It's a lot. And the issue is the incubation, right? Because we were talking about... Yeah, there's no way of knowing. I'm sure there's an equation.

Starting point is 02:09:39 Somewhere between 60 and 600,000. It says 60,000, but then it also says that this province had 14,840 people confirmed in the last 24 hours from midnight to midnight on Wednesday. 60,000 and about a fourth of them were last night. Well, this is in total. I believe this is just in this Hubei. Oh, my fucking God. This clip that Taylor linked. I have not seen this. What is it?

Starting point is 02:10:05 Yeah, yeah, look at this look at this clip. Let's cue up on this cuz this is out fucking rages Just the picture the still picture is amazing. Are you ready? Yeah? I'm sorry. I'm slowest. I'll go for it All right ready. I was on one set play Christ he are sitting up don't worry it's just toxins this is just a pure air

Starting point is 02:10:37 did you see the clips of them doing this in the street filthy yes like literal yeah yeah it was like all red clouds it looked like Did you see the clips of them doing this in the street, Filthy? Yes. Like literal. Yeah. It was like all red clouds. It looked like someone was getting mustard gas or something. I think it's true.

Starting point is 02:10:50 Everyone accepts it as true. But I was initially skeptical. I'm like, could this just be fumigation? Like where my parents live in Florida? Almost similar thing. You don't fumigate when you're in there, though. A similar thing happens. Like I've been there.

Starting point is 02:11:02 They have cars that drive by and they blow big clouds of anti-mosquito smoke down the streets this is uh yeah okay so so i was just like i wonder if they're like taking footage like that and pretending it's corona related no this is happening right now and they're saying that this is to like kill the virus like like the government's admitting that okay cases and and i don't The government's admitting that that's what the case is. And I don't think there's a lot of mosquitoes in that classroom. That's definitely...

Starting point is 02:11:30 I don't know. I don't know why my... No way! I don't know why my conspiracy alert is off the charts or what to be gained from this. I can't fact check. How do I know if anything's real?

Starting point is 02:11:46 Not touching it. Not doing it. Am I real? I'm not even tempted. This is like low stress for me. It's nice. You're looking at ASMR. Are you even a real man?

Starting point is 02:11:58 Do you even exist? Do you know you exist? We need to start upping the ante with ridiculous statements. You kicked off with them. I was like, Kyle's watching these videos pretending he thinks they're real. I'm like, this is obviously trolling. I'm not like,

Starting point is 02:12:14 right. I thought it was real. Sure. I refuse to accept that it isn't real because it makes me laugh so hard okay i guess you know like i think i think a fucking like really virulent uh plague is gonna be is a real fucking problem but i'm not sure this is the one right isn't this pretty low fatality rate in terms of healthy individuals contracting it like i know it gets like it's very contagious

Starting point is 02:12:45 but aren't most people recovering do we know those rates of recovery versus i saw them early on and it was like 99 recovery but then i saw that like sars for example was 90 right 10 death and i'm like i don't even know what's better because at least the host dies off and they have one where the host spreads it for 14 days before they even know they have it is a better way of spreading the disease. Like if you wanted to maximize kills and you were creating a virus,

Starting point is 02:13:12 which one would you pick? One that kills the host and shows symptoms right away? You pick one that's slow incubation, but high fatality. Sure. Let's say you can't have that. Let's say you're choosing among these two. Which one's more effective at getting kills? Well, what do you you want to kill do you want to kill the able-bodied people of their of whatever target is or do you want to kill the elderly weak immune system young

Starting point is 02:13:35 good point i see where you're going with that but let's just say your number is to rack up number your goal is to rack up numbers right uh that's wasn't doesn't that become just a simple equation then that's the simplest equation you don't even need no in the sense of like okay if your target is plus b squared yes exactly that no the point being that like okay if you're like well it kills one percent of people and there's one percent of the population you know x percent of the population is elderly and x percent of the population is children that's that's a number right if you say like well it kills everyone under five and over 80 or whatever the fuck it happens to be right versus the number is it kills one if it kills five percent at some point there's going to be at some number those two numbers are

Starting point is 02:14:17 equal and at some number they're different right i feel like you've added things in there that didn't need to be there one One kills 1%, one kills 10%. And then what's hard to drop into equation is... You said, what would you choose? You were asking me, would you choose between killing the lower, like basically essentially weak immune systems or killing just a percentage of people? No, I said, would you kill 10% with a disease that doesn't spread as easily

Starting point is 02:14:44 or 1% with a disease that doesn't spread as easily or 1% with a disease that spreads very easily. But, okay, two things. A, that's kind of a repetition and B, the 1% of, okay, you're 10% of people or 1%. I don't know how to say this because I just feel like I've just said this twice. I feel like I'm repeating again. So what we're talking about right now for this virus, right? This virus is a relatively low kill percentage, but fairly infectious, right? So far seems to be. So it's weighted towards killing people with low immune systems. Okay.

Starting point is 02:15:21 Yeah, I think that's how most diseases are, right? Pretty much all of them. I don't disagree, but he was saying if you design one what would you want to design okay what i was doing is i was comparing sars to coronavirus sars killed 10 but it couldn't spread as widely because it's people died and you knew they had it quickly this one kills one percent but it spreads really easily far and wide because people don't even know they have it and they're passing it around and that changes some things like if you ask me how scared of SARS would I be compared to this one I would be more scared of SARS than I would be the other one because SARS

Starting point is 02:15:52 is more likely to kill me if I contract that's not the question this one it's the question is which one will cause more damage right and what I responded with is I bet you there's a fairly simple calculation for that if you understand what this kills versus what it doesn't you can predict that number you have all the fact you versus what it doesn't, you can predict that number. You have all the components that you need to predict that number. So you could say, it's not a question. It's not a preference anymore. It's an equation.

Starting point is 02:16:13 At what point does... I don't want to talk about math. I don't care. Let's not talk about math. What I'm saying is that if you've ever played Plague before on your phone, is that if you want to kill the most people as possible. Have you've ever played Plague before on your phone, is that if you want to kill the most people as possible. Have you guys ever played Plague? Ever?

Starting point is 02:16:30 I haven't. I know of it. Have you played Total War Warhammer? Is it anything like that? It's absolutely... No, it's nothing like that. What it's actually like is you can download Plague on your phone. It's a great airport game.

Starting point is 02:16:42 And you have to start... You should only play it in airports. Well, it's just because it's boring at airports. You something to do when you have you finished your ten dollar bud light and what you do is you pick a type of disease bacteria virus fungus whatnot and you have to pick a country to start it i i mean you have to pay to upgrade or win on hard mode and so i've only made it a couple of tiers up. And so bacteria is the easiest one, bacteria and virus. And so like a virus with this one, what you want to do is you start it somewhere really shitty, like India or Egypt or somewhere with a bunch of ports.

Starting point is 02:17:15 Midwest. Yeah. Well, that wouldn't work because a country like France, the US, Sweden, you started there. They're going to catch on and shut it down too quick. You got to go somewhere like, I found a lot of luck with Egypt because it's connected to both continents

Starting point is 02:17:28 and it's got a nice port. And you start out just upgrading all of the ways to spread it. Sneezing, coughing, fucking rashes that like kind of pop up and you touch something and then somebody else gets it. And only when there's a huge couple billion people infected, then you amp up stuff like brain hemorrhaging. But you can't let people die faster than it can transmute to other people.

Starting point is 02:17:53 You know, I made that mistake a lot where it's like, fuck yeah, I've got five billion people in the world infected with my super deadly disease, but then I'm killing them way too fast. And the most difficult thing and the most realistic thing I learned from this game is that it is fucking really difficult to get Iceland sick. Really

Starting point is 02:18:10 difficult. They almost always shut down their fucking ports before it's even spread into Central Asia. We're off into the weeds now. But see, we're not talking about math. I think that was the second tier of Woody's question. First tier was which would you choose? And the second one, how would you get Iceland with it. I think that was the second tier of Woody's question. First tier was which would you choose?

Starting point is 02:18:25 And the second one, how would you get Iceland with it? Yeah. I hadn't predicted that, but that makes total sense. Icelandic people, they're too tough. They're on automatic semen retention. They just get rid of it. But yeah, according to this little chart thing, it's plenty of deaths and it seems to be ramping up but

Starting point is 02:18:46 yeah this is nothing to worry about if you're an american or live in the west well there's been a number of cases here do we have confirmed deaths in america yet no i think that'd be quite the start oh we do what there's no way to know there's no way to know and i'm not googling it yeah i see i see you mean there's a way for you to know right because your ship has told you that you're not allowed to fucking fact check anything ever again no but i think that there are pretty much everything is just a question mark yeah it's schrodinger's outside of the room, whether it exists or not, up in the air, like that cat. So, yeah. I like the way we're going with no fact-checking.

Starting point is 02:19:32 I think we should make it so none of us are allowed to fact-check ever. Triple down. I like it. Yeah, tripling down. Only the guest is ever allowed to fact-check. During the rest of the week as well though not not just during the actual pk episodes you're not allowed to come into contact with facts i don't have to i don't have to change anything about my life so i saw my wife is terrified of this and i don't know why

Starting point is 02:19:59 like it feels like it doesn't hit healthy individuals. What is the fear? It spreads well. Yeah, that's the fear. And the media hyping it up bigger than it is. Okay, but do we... And here I'm asking for a fact check, so probably Woody can't be part of this, but how does it spread relatively, like comparatively to like a common cold?

Starting point is 02:20:22 More or less contagious? It seems more contagious. Because of the fact that it can live outside the host on a lamppost for three days. It's over four times as transmittable as the common cold. Is that what the quick Google search said? No, I just hit keys and made something up.

Starting point is 02:20:40 That's what we're doing. I literally did that. I didn't search anything. That's great. That sounds like a big big number but now i want to know just a astf astf astf oh so i don't know i do know that this thing can be transmitted through the air the coronavirus but i don't know how colds and stuff like if they're they also can do that yeah because it sneezes and stuff many of them can okay that's what i'm saying like i want i want to know like how contagious well you're allowed to look it up i'm not gonna but before we get that i'm not able to share that with you do you guys see this clip going viral on a plane and spirit basically it is you we've all sat in planes me only and coach and the last row of the plane you don't get that little button that lets you go three millimeters back to feign

Starting point is 02:21:34 you know relaxation and this person in front of this woman in front of this guy pushed hers back because she's in the second to last row and he is not having it he is not a fan and so let's let's watch and see how he responds to this and we got a lot of different takes on twitter a lot of different people saying that what she's doing is rude what he's doing is rude and i want to get all of our takes after we watch this 30 second video you guys ready that too uh i want to it looks like you there's some reading up top do we need to tell him no you just did okay oh yeah that was just what it was all right one second i'm the slowest ready yeah ready set play you guys just bounce in the back over and over and over because she's leaning back yeah all right first thing i'm saying is if i'm the woman at this point, forget the initial decision to lean back.

Starting point is 02:22:28 Once I've leaned back, if he's doing this, I'm staying lean back for the rest of the fucking trip if it takes it that long. She's on your team with that one. She's watching a movie while he's poking her seat. Wow. It's pretty funny. It is funny. Yeah, just fucking with her fucking with her so hey i don't fucking recline my chair ever in airplanes unless there's no one behind me period because i think it's because i'm i'm a six foot two guy i'm fairly big i fly coach everywhere because i have no fucking money and that

Starting point is 02:22:58 is not a pleasant situation to be in when someone drops the fucking chair on me so that's the first thing right so i don't do it to anyone else but if i did put my chair back and some guy thought it was like fucking you know this was the time to just be a fucking dick about it without but being passive aggressive not being like hey man uh you know look i know you just put your chair back and you want to sleep i understand but i i can't move back here i'm a big guy too you know would you mind putting that up he just didn't acknowledge me at all and just started doing this. Fuck him. At that point, it's on, right?

Starting point is 02:23:27 Like at that point, like, all right, well, we have a problem. And I'm not going to be the person to just like bow out of that from my perspective. Okay. Where are you guys coming down, Woody? So I fly mostly first class. So I mentioned that because I feel like I'm an impartial observer, right? This is not my, I'm not in this. I think that if the chair leans back, it's okay to lean the chair back.

Starting point is 02:23:51 Like those are the rules in this game. It's like saying you're not allowed to use the M16 because that gun is good at COD. No, the M16 is in the game. Use the M4 if you want to. It's allowed. They put it in the game. The seats recline. You're allowed to recline your seat. That's allowed they put it in the game the seats recline you're allowed to recline

Starting point is 02:24:05 your seat that's my take on it yeah uh i fly a lot of first class um but occasionally like especially if it's a really short flight it just doesn't make sense to pay 420 to go or not offered like yeah yeah yeah and and i have a lot of i like i like accruing miles and but but like if i'm flying cross country i always go first class like like if i'm going. But if I'm flying cross-country, I always go first class. If I'm going to Seattle, I'm not sitting in that little fucking seat next to two degenerates who couldn't afford the first class seat.

Starting point is 02:24:33 They're smelly. They sit there meditating. You know the type. Trying to take up as little space as possible so they don't get the coronavirus. You come back next to me, Kyle, and I'm like, would you like to talk about semen retention?

Starting point is 02:24:53 I haven't came in six months but this flight might be my undoing. If it looks like I caught a ghost and a bunch of ectoplasms, just know that I decided to bust over the Atlantic. Yeah. And so I think it's definitely fine to recline in first class

Starting point is 02:25:16 because you just have a lot more room separating you. My favorite seat to get in first class is the front, front seat so that there's no seat in front of me there is a wall and the wall has the tv on it because you've got like like i'm six one or so maybe a little more not i'm definitely i'm not as tall as filthy but i'm taller than woody so somewhere in that range and i can stick my legs straight out like like like and not touch the fucking wall on a delta first class flight see where i am a coach i can sit upright like this and my knees touch the front seat every single fucking time

Starting point is 02:25:52 i'm so close yeah i'm so quiet on me well now we're talking like i can if i wish to i could munch on their hair yeah you know like know, like... Easy there, Joe Biden. And your little... What do you call the little tray table? Like, the tray table, all of a sudden, it's, like, dangerously close to hitting your dick. Like, it's come down. So when someone reclines on me, I immediately have to recline myself

Starting point is 02:26:18 to give myself that extra room. That's kind of the way I view it. And the guy in the back is just fucked. Yeah. But I always recline no matter what. i have i try to get it early i try to sleep on planes anyway so like part of me is like selfish about the fact i'm being like not passing that shit on because i can't sleep on them anyways i never get comfortable enough to sleep even like the very long slides like i get like very small snatches of like half hour fucking interrupted kind of shit forever.

Starting point is 02:26:46 So like leaning back doesn't make that better. Still super uncomfortable. So if I'm going to split up, it feels bad. You need an extra large stiff pillow. And I don't mean a flight pillow. I mean the one off your fucking bed. I take that thing and I do it in half. And like my head goes like this much and it's in the pillow hard. Like if I have to like

Starting point is 02:27:05 crane my neck all the way to the side that's uncomfortable but if i've got i might try that i'm going to uh going to work on europe this year so i'm flying across the atlantic in fucking coach so i'll see i've got to try something because i'm not gonna get any sleep otherwise you've flown you've been international before right yeah yeah coach is way better that's ridiculous pillow um but what i was i saw woody react when i said i like to do it early what i mean is like oh they don't usually let you take off with your seat reclined but i test them every time as soon as i get in the seat i recline that bitch because i think the worst thing about the person in front of you reclining your seat is

Starting point is 02:27:41 you you start out at at this much room and then suddenly it's diminished it's like if you didn't know that there was an option to have three more inches you never knew you lost it but if suddenly you're like all right this is coaching so bad everybody complains oh god i had 350 dollars what why have I done this to myself? The dream is this. Kyle and his seatmate lean back early, and they never even notice their lean back. It only goes like an inch and a half.

Starting point is 02:28:13 It doesn't do shit. So maybe they think that's normal. That wasn't always that short. That used to be bigger. I remember that being more of an incline than it is now. I do too. That's what I hope. I hope the person behind me doesn't realize

Starting point is 02:28:24 that I have inconvenienced them for a slight note. What about the back row? Okay, but now let's talk about this. So maybe you're there all the way up until the second to last seat and the last seat. What do you do with that guy? Is the last seat just cheaper? Do you pay for it?

Starting point is 02:28:39 Do you build that? I think it has the advantage of being able to smell the bathroom. You know, in the other seat. I'm fine with sitting on wings i fucking hate sitting in the bathroom if we're wrapping this up i think this dude is definitely the asshole in this situation i also i've only ever ridden in coach i've never ridden in first class filthy style on the same team there brother but it's great to be poor i i do not i never recline because i think it's fucking rude but if someone reclines on me i'm not gonna be poking them waiting for an air marshal to come over and tell me to settle down i'm gonna be arrested so no that's not gonna happen so but i have turned around when like i get kids incessantly kicking my fucking seat or like there was a guy

Starting point is 02:29:25 ahead of me at one point who was like he was reclining and i think i had like a drink in a laptop or something but he was like alternating how he was reclining rapidly so like jerks up drink it's not a rocking chair you cuck comes back down i know right you're like all right i wasn't gonna say anything with you leaning back that's totally you're right like i don't think it's very fucking cool but like so be it but like if you're fucking letting that shit up and then putting it down again and up again there's a person behind you who uses the fucking back of that chair and like yeah i get it you you don't owe me anything and like but still try not to be a shitty human being just because you can question all right All right, so let's say Filthy's in front of me.

Starting point is 02:30:06 I have my tray table down. It seems like even if he leans back, the angle of my tray table stays level. Is that true? They have some sort of tractor front end loader geometry going on in there? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:30:20 Okay. The biggest inconvenience of first class when someone climbs on you is your TV is now at a slightly different angle but they rotate I hate the TVs. I turn that shit off and I'm so angry that they come back on repeatedly

Starting point is 02:30:32 They come back on for all of the in-flight announcements They come back on for all of the safety announcements I like the TV It really helps pass the time It passes the time so well It's the way they just beam ads into you A, I think it's ridiculous you so well like especially ads into you thank you like a i think is ridiculous you have to listen to ads when they're on when you're on the plane the first place i paid for an xbox again once again it's like i'm playing xbox again is the xbox good bad i don't even know

Starting point is 02:30:58 yeah yeah like like you you buy a 500 console you you pay a month, then there's ads all over it. Yeah, that's insane. That's insane to me. I don't want them to repeatedly try to sell me fucking miles on the plane as I'm on there. I've already paid for everything. I don't mind that. I'll tell you what I do hate.

Starting point is 02:31:16 Whenever I'm in Vegas and I get in a taxi and they're playing fucking ads for Jimmy Kimmel or some shit right there in my goddamn face when I'm in the back of a taxi. Maybe this is a thing nobody has any experience with. I don't take taxis much. In the plane, I usually use my laptop. That's where my

Starting point is 02:31:35 entertainment comes from. I'll download a movie or something in advance when I'm prepared. I don't watch a lot of cable, so I actually watch the cable when I'm on the plane a lot. So, you know, I maybe watch a movie and then switch over to some CNN or some Fox News

Starting point is 02:31:51 or... Yeah, I'm all about the free movies. I don't want to watch the fucking news on a plane. Movies on a plane fucking suck, though. Yep. It's got to be this. There's a very specific kind of movie that I'm okay with watching on a plane. But when I reacted to this, who's wrong from the rest of your own perspective? Well, that guy probably should have asked politely.

Starting point is 02:32:12 We're assuming that there hasn't already been that. He probably should have just paid for an upgrade to first class car, really. I mean, yeah, honestly. If you didn't want that to be the case then maybe pony up the extra three or four hundred dollars i feel like i reacted the guy's wrong the seat leans back you're allowed to lean it back three or four hundred is a nice what if they had an altercation that's i think he's wrong too for for like doing that like he's doing that when i first watched this video a day or so ago i thought he's making her think the plane's bumpy that's hilarious and then that would actually be funny

Starting point is 02:32:46 and she was like i've never been in a flight like this before this is 34 j you're in for a bit of turbulence so then i realized here's a flight related am i the asshole uh if i am in the window in a three-person row and the person in the which by the way fuck them for making three-person rows as long as i don't get stuck in the middle i don't mind but i'm in the i'm in the fucking window guy in the aisle passed out been asleep the whole flight clearly not a little just zonked probably drank half a bottle of NyQuil before he hopped on. They come by and they ask who wants pretzels. Sure.

Starting point is 02:33:29 And I say, he wants some too. And then I eat both of our pretzels. Am I the asshole? If so, I didn't do this on my most recent flight. There should be an am I a genius over at it. There's no victim to that though. Am I a genius? Actually, I'll have the pretzels and this gentleman loves shortbread there's no victim maniac are you no one suffered right he's asleep you know i just

Starting point is 02:33:57 got two snacks i got two snacks yeah that's a win-win how about this i've told this story before but we were outside a motel all hanging out in this gazebo and we just had like asked you know each other like hey i'm hungry you hungry yeah i'm hungry too what do we want to do the dominoes guy pulls up at that very moment to deliver a pizza to one of the rooms yes you're an asshole right over here my friend and i purchased someone else's pizza and mountain dew like two liters for my group of people and it was enough for all of us there was maybe four or five of us and here we go two large pizzas and like two two liter sodas there's no way to likecoat that. That's a dick move. I would have come out and been furious if I saw some random fuck buying my pizza.

Starting point is 02:34:49 There should be a Malevolent Genius subreddit. The best part of that is think about what happened next and then what happened after that. Obviously, they're going to call Domino's and be like, Where's my fucking pizza? Where is my pizza?

Starting point is 02:35:05 And they're going to be like, Larry, did you take that pizza up to the Motel 6? Yeah, they tipped good. We already brought you your damn pizza. Stop messing with me. They're going to call back and be so furious. We'll send you some more pizza. What do you want?

Starting point is 02:35:22 The pizza man came back with more pizza. And I was this to me i'm like great story if you bought that again let's let's double up bro walking around the the lobby sauce on your face belly full maybe you throw some pizza out in front of the people waiting. Start feeding it to her. As the guy's watching. Oh, this is far too much pizza. And wondering if they're going to put it together because they didn't seem like the brightest bunch.

Starting point is 02:35:54 Look at them. They got their pizza. What the fuck? What kind of pizza did you get? Well, what kind of pizza did you get? Pepperoni and banana peppers? Okay, and then they just start beating the shit out of us. My group was a scary group.

Starting point is 02:36:10 It would have gone down like that. But in any case, I knew we were the asshole. But it just seemed like I just didn't care. I just wanted that pizza. You guys were risky. Yeah, I'm a video. Oh, I've seen this.

Starting point is 02:36:24 This is incredibly frustrating is this the the one with the pill or the one after after oh it's the last the most recent one gotcha it's 28 seconds and it's too long are you guys ready yeah ready set play there's turbulence on this flight. I need a move. This doesn't look like very bad turbulence. No! I'd have been laughing.

Starting point is 02:37:01 Me too. Oh my god! Spoiler alert, she's coming right now oh my god oh my god do they have a i don't know i like turbulence on planes it's interesting they need a brig do they have anything do they have a place where they put you if you're being a bit of a rapscallion. Every lavatory smells more. They put you in one of those fold-down seats and fucking zip-tie yourself. It's the last row. You can't lean back.

Starting point is 02:37:31 Between the foul-smelling fucking toilets, you can't lean back. It's guaranteed that someone is max-reclined right in front of you. See, that's where you want to put them. Kyle's idea of getting a full-reclining bed, you're going to get a lot of people misbehaving just for that you know probably that's how kitty's flight was she flew to uh back to england a month

Starting point is 02:37:51 or so ago and she got the bed nice that's pretty fucking cool yeah i watched uh like a casey nice that video where he was like you know they pay him to do these uh reviews of airplanes and he had one it's like it's like a suite it's a multi-room suite on a fucking plane he took a shower did you see that one yeah yeah ridiculous right did you see that meme of casey nystat we may have talked about it before but it's they go this guy looks like if he took his glasses off the nose would come with it that guy give him shit all you want that guy and it's so fucking successful what he's done he's done such a great job yeah you would think he's an i agree i think he's an ugly fucking motherfucker but i think it matters oh the ugliest of motherfuckers he needs to do a

Starting point is 02:38:35 nose job integration no i don't think he does i think he needs to just rub the fucking rub his success into people one fucking facial at a time right right? Like in the sense of like, you know, fuck you guys. You don't like how I look? Suck it. I've done really well in my life, but I don't give a shit. I don't think giving a facial means what you think it means. Yeah, the elephant man sold a lot of books, but we laugh at him too. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:38:58 Yeah, he was a little worse though. Got that big saggy half. That shitty one. He's got a picture on the back of his book of him in a suit like musing by a river. Kids are screaming in the background. Birds are flying away. Children

Starting point is 02:39:17 crying. God, wouldn't you just kill yourself? I know I would. My book's going to be called My Struggle. Okay, but did you have to put it in German? I'm sticking with it. This is how a titty can take it.

Starting point is 02:39:37 You have a nutsack on your face. I'm changing the title. He looks like a giant testicle monster. What a horrible deformity I have. have you seen the uh the indian guy who's got like the elephant man style face no there's all those there's a there's actually a lot of like in india it seems like if you're born with a bunch of really fucked up defects you could actually make a decent living like people will be like oh this is this is like a little bit of ganesh here here. And they can come by.

Starting point is 02:40:05 This is a real thing. Yeah. The elephant man. There's that guy who wraps his penis around a stick a bunch of times and stretches it. I haven't seen that. Oh, yeah. He rolls it up like a scroll. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:40:17 He rolls his dick up like a scroll. And then we'll stretch it down and stand on. Not stand on. Is he the leader of that forum you were linking us earlier? This gentleman, probably not. stretch it down and like stand on or not stand on it. Like pull it down. You were linking us earlier. Uh, this gentleman, probably not, but he,

Starting point is 02:40:28 it's not like, uh, wow, that guy's got a dexterous dick. It's more like, Oh, that any sort of tissue or sinew in that penis is destroyed. It's just a bit of skin now that probably hurts to pee through but hey yeah it hurts you know

Starting point is 02:40:47 that dirt hut mortgage isn't gonna pay itself yeah yeah very interesting things in india yeah i take offense to that in wisconsin yeah there's a lot of wisconsinites curling their dicks around frozen lampposts and yeah pretending they're Jesus or something. Yeah. I don't like that. No, I don't like it either. That was in Carl Pilkington's An Idiot Abroad.

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Starting point is 02:42:49 episode of the podcast i think that'd be pretty cool yep share them with me on social media and i will get them on the show what's your good coronavirus we didn't consider that he's he's been ill that's true what have you been sick have you been tested for corona i have not it could very well likely be that yes statistically you have it woody it's a very simple calculation determine whether or not you have it yeah oh so what's new in everyone's world other than being sick? There's a bit falling. I've been falling asleep watching these videos about fucking space. And I always have like these really cool space dreams.

Starting point is 02:43:37 And it's like I'm having guided dreams because I've gotten into all of these YouTube videos about black holes and quasars and dark matter and quantum mechanics. And now every night when I go to sleep, I click one of those YouTube videos and it just feeds into the next one. You know how YouTube is. And so I'll just wake up at 4 a.m. covered in sweat like the ship crashed the ship crashed like having a fucking meltdown I woke up the other night and I was fucking terrified because I was having a dream that I was slipping into the event horizon of a goddamn black hole like we're trying to get the systems back online and we're just tumbling into a black hole into oblivion and I'm I wake up and I'm like

Starting point is 02:44:22 the fuck the fuck was that and i look at the tv and the guy's like that's right inside the black hole is limitless and i'm just like oh my god what the fuck i gotta all right we gotta change we gotta change to something else this is too much let's just listen to some good old-fashioned asmr not taylor's yeah not my asmr have nightmares as well? Yeah, not my ASMR. Taylor, do you and Woody both have nightmares too? No, I really rarely, rarely have a nightmare.

Starting point is 02:44:50 Most of my dreams are just stupid. Every night. Every night you have a nightmare? Oh, yeah. Most of them are about prison. Actually, the only reason Kyle was able to survive prison is because of 60 days of semen retention. Yes.

Starting point is 02:45:02 Actually, the only reason Kyle was able to survive prison is because of 60 days of semen retention. Yes. I was focusing my chi to a level that they were terrible. His skin was amazing. We wouldn't fuck with him. The last one that I'll have that freaks me out, and I've had this probably a dozen times now in the last seven, eight years,

Starting point is 02:45:24 is that I'll wake up and still be like, Oh my God, it's the end of the semester and you were enrolled in a math class and you didn't go to anything. And then like, I'll be getting in the shower and be like, wait a minute, you're 28.

Starting point is 02:45:34 You didn't take math. And I'll have a nightmare that I'm not even at the right school. I'm trying to get in. You're not even fucking close. You're like, I'm there. And I'm like, I'm trying to get in. You're not even fucking close. You're a jerk. I'm there and I'm like, it's finals and it's calculus. And I'm like,

Starting point is 02:45:51 I don't remember taking a day of calculus and I don't recognize any of these fucking people in here. Where is... And I'm sitting there and they're fucking passing Scantrons out. And I'm just really fucking stressed out when those happen and i have so many of those like i have one of those reverse nightmares coming out of graduate school when i finished graduate school and did streaming as a full-time thing i occasionally wake up

Starting point is 02:46:16 feeling like that like kind of what you're experiencing but slightly different right i wake up thinking like fuck i got this huge fucking paper due and like you know it's this really important thing and blah blah blah and i gotta be working on it i'm behind i gotta get up and then i wake up and then as you do that conscious thing where you kind of wake up you're like nope i quit i'm done i had to get up and play some fucking sim 5 this morning i've had the school life a bunch of times and it always follows the same pattern there's like some sort of schedule fuck up on my part, right? Like maybe the schedule had two pages. Maybe I just didn't read it properly. But five weeks in, I've realized there's a class

Starting point is 02:46:51 I've been skipping for five weeks now. Yep. And now it's fucking go time. I am going to attempt to catch up to a collegiate course that I've missed for five weeks. I'm going to catch the class and somehow make a go out of this. And I need to fool the teacher into thinking I know more than I know. And that's the nightmare.

Starting point is 02:47:10 That's the one that I get. You wake up screaming a lot? No. And oh, another thing, if it's a different nightmare, like the random ones or the ones that are YouTube induced like Kyle has, I wake up and it's incredibly interesting to me. I remember everything about it and I can't wait to tell somebody within an hour. It's like, I lost it entirely. All of it's gone. but telling people dreams is literally the worst experience for that person

Starting point is 02:47:37 to be the recipient. Oh, she's very lucky. Yeah. It's always sunny. He's like a dream is like a photo album unless i'm in it or someone's having sex i don't care that's pretty close it's just because it's like i did these crazy things and i was a crazy different person there are crazy people in it and you're like but none of it's

Starting point is 02:47:57 real and as the recipient of that you're like i don't care i did that class thing in real life my my senior year of college i had a high level finance class that I was in. And it wasn't even that high level. It was pretty fucking easy. Like I went in, saw the syllabus on the first day. I was like, all right, hunky dory. This shouldn't be that bad. Go in.

Starting point is 02:48:17 And in my head, because, you know, syllabus week, stuff gets mixed up. You're like, this class counts for attendance. This class doesn't. And I had in my head, like finance does not take attendance ever. And I was like, yes. All right. Well, I'm going to go to every class up till that test, that first test three weeks in. And then if I do well on that, fuck it, I'm out the rest of the semester. And so like three weeks in or whatever, first test, I'd been in all those classes, aced it really easy. It was super, super easy.

Starting point is 02:48:47 And I was like, oh, hell yeah. Awesome. Now that I'm that smart, like everybody did very well. And I was like, fuck this. I'm out. And literally did not go back to that class other than test days. Was killing it on tests. And it gets to be literally the final, like the fucking final for the class.

Starting point is 02:49:05 And I sit next to a guy and I was like, you're making a little small talk. Like, how are you doing? He's like, oh, this class is so easy. It's going to be an easy A. And I'm like, yeah, it's been so easy. You're right, dude. Not even having to come like it's perfect. And he's like, well, yeah, but like you don't want to miss out on all the attendance points.

Starting point is 02:49:30 And I was like, wait what he's like yeah attendance attendance is 10 of your grade and i was like no no i looked at it and yeah i went from getting like a 94 or something that class to an 84 because or an 85 because i did show up or no no you're right the first couple weeks you should have some. I don't know how he would have known. He didn't take attendance. I still passed, but yeah, I was in a major heart-sinking, heart-palpitating panic when that kid was like, boy, you still want the attendance

Starting point is 02:49:56 though. Not a great climax to that story, but that was real. It was panic. I climaxed. I don't know what you're talking about. I ruined my 60 days. Now do you feel weak and like a bitch? Yeah, I do. I don't know what you're talking about. Now do you feel weak and like a bitch? Yeah, I do. You shouldn't have come for me. You shouldn't have come here.

Starting point is 02:50:11 If you could get me that after I leave. I think that's all I want as a guest. I just want your AMSR if you could. It's extra if you want my slurs version. It's just racial and sexual slurs whispered centrally to you as you sleep so yeah that would probably be the biggest like or most stressed out i ever got in a class like i sucked

Starting point is 02:50:32 ass at italian but that was like i knew i sucked ass and it didn't surprise me i hated french i took french in college and i hated that i had to go a i hate that i had to go back and do it because when my initial college that i took told me I tested out of it and then when I transferred colleges they made me take it again but that was the class I had to put the most work into in fucking college because it's all brute memorization it doesn't matter how smart you are it doesn't make a single difference you just have to fucking memorize that shit

Starting point is 02:50:56 I hated that I sat next to this kid in Italian and I admire him to this day with the ballsiness that he would cheat. And this is not an, uh, a lecture hall.

Starting point is 02:51:11 There's 18 of us in Italian too at the time. And I'm sitting at a desk next to him and like this motherfucker, we'd sit down and start taking it. He would like unzip his coat. Like he was trying to accommodate someone and he would like unzip his coat like he was trying to intimidate someone and he would pull out a note card four by seven three by five four by six not three by five and this guy had all the conjugations on there and every time i'd be like this is the day that joe this is the test that joe gets fucked This is the test that Joe gets fucked.

Starting point is 02:51:46 Never got fucked. That kid, I should have been more like Joe. I should have just cheated my ass off. Because I am like, looking back, there's no way that teacher gave a fuck. Nope.

Starting point is 02:51:57 Right. I took sign language. She didn't give a fuck. She didn't care. It was fun time. she was like a hippie like like 48 years old single lady she didn't give a shit we were we were as close as we were that lady's friends that's what was going on in that class it was one of those i don't know if you guys experienced this but it we had classrooms that were fucking double wide trailers because

Starting point is 02:52:26 lately there wasn't enough room in the school so they'd have a fucking double wide trailer outside and you'd go fucking take sign language in a double wide or or life connections that was another class we had that i can't even explain what it was life connections yeah life connections i i don't know what the fuck that just Just teach me to use LinkedIn. No, it was just like we just hung out and talked about nonsense. It was so stupid. I don't know. I loved it.

Starting point is 02:52:54 It was my favorite class, but there was nothing going on in there. That's probably a story. I got to say, I think there are a bunch of subjects that should have been covered in fucking schools that never were. How about tax filing? Paying your taxes, exactly. I actually had a course where paying your taxes was part of it. schools that never were. Let me jump in on my teacher not give a fuck. I actually had a course where paying your taxes was part of it. I thought it was a fucking stupid waste of my time. I don't remember ever getting anything used from that. But I do wish I'd had some fucking guidance

Starting point is 02:53:14 on terms of what to do as a career. That would have been useful. You're like, I'm a 35-year-old man. Never had to pay taxes once. That would be a class. My senior year in high school we had a teacher. He was really old, but I was young so i didn't recognize just how like breaking down this guy was and he was kind of flexible but i think he just sort of lacked the energy to give a fuck so i had him after lunch we'd roll in late

Starting point is 02:53:40 i'd have like uh ice cream on a wooden stick whatever the popsicle or something but ice cream and uh you know we just we really took advantage of his like inability to like have the energy to enforce rules like a normal teacher would then he died like he was that old yeah he died midway through the the school year and the like vice principal or something sat in and started teaching the course while they could find a long-term substitute and he's like i cannot believe you people this is how you treated him you were walking all over him showing up to class seven minutes late you had food you brought snacks you didn't pay attention this is who you were to this man and it's like, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 02:54:25 Kind of like that better than this. But that's how it went down. Yeah, I never had any teachers die while I was still there. We did. I did have one teacher that lost his driving privileges because he was going so blind. It's the same guy that I've talked about on the show where people would play catch with a brand new yellow

Starting point is 02:54:46 tennis ball because he couldn't see the color yellow. This project I did wrote, you are gay and highlighter underneath all the info on the poster board. I didn't do that. I didn't know. That was no good.

Starting point is 02:55:02 But it's really funny. Yeah, that poor guy poor blind fella not actually blind though what's this uh ray rachel rachel ray yeah yeah since you boys uh stream on twitch probably don't want to say anything bad about her i wasn't going to so ray rachel what's the problem looks lovely she's doing body painting oh yeah but okay do you guys i've not told you guys about this yeah we've talked about it okay so um i kind of some time ago and was confused about that and i actually um i played another offline games called crowfall it's not it's an online mmo that hasn't come out yet and i played that a little bit

Starting point is 02:55:39 and uh i i linked a stream uh the stream was K-Pike Fashion. And she's a cosplayer and body painter. And apparently has been around for a million years. And I think nothing negative about her whatsoever. But I linked this stream. I'm like, what the fuck is this? I don't understand what the hell this is on Twitch. It's like the first time I encountered AMSR.

Starting point is 02:56:01 Or the first time I watched people playing like Grand Theft Auto but like role playing it have you ever seen those streams those ones fuck me up too like I'm like you will go in and it's like the characters are moving around and then people are doing voiceovers and like different accents and they're playing like role-playing games with like the the Grand Theft Auto players the Grand Theft Auto characters I'm just like what the fuck is going on and I linked this to this guild that I was playing within and as as one of kind of a troll move to one of the other members in this, one of the members gifted his friend a sub to this channel. And the person reacted to it. And she was like, and she reacted.

Starting point is 02:56:35 She's like, welcome, so-and-so. And like made a big exaggerated welcome to that. And then I ran her down at TwitchCon and got a picture of her with me with a fucking card that said, you know, so-and-so like, you know, so-and-so's your biggest fan or whatever for the guy in this guild and trolling from this because I, A, because, you know, you're guys and you're fucking around but B, like, I don't know what the fuck to do with this.

Starting point is 02:56:56 I'm like, what is this? This is like the convergence of like porn but not porn on Twitch with like it's regulation of sexuality but not regulating here. So I it's regulation of, of sexuality, but not regulating here. So I never know what the fuck to do with these. This is clearly a legitimate form of expression in some sense,

Starting point is 02:57:12 but like what, what do you do with this? How do you react to this? Is this porn? I have no idea. What would it, I don't know. I have no idea what you're supposed to react to it as.

Starting point is 02:57:21 How do you react to it? Not how are you supposed to, but how do you react to it? Well, it ruins my 60 how do you react to it well it ruins my 60 day streak there's that much to say yeah yeah sure you're not particularly interesting to me like i already clicked off i'm not very interested in that sure it's the she has a steady stream of completed body paint that i think is pretty neat that's that's what's capturing yeah the one where she's got leaves and shit on there, that looked good. Like some sort of poison ivy. Yeah, some of the ones I've seen are incredible.

Starting point is 02:57:48 Like absolutely fucking talented. The amount of time that this is taking, though, is just really hammering home just how unrealistic that scene from Hunger Games was. Yeah. And I would go for that. I'd like to spend the remainder of the show airing our grievances about the hunger

Starting point is 02:58:05 the quadrilogy yeah the quadrilogy quadrilogy i think i saw one of them yeah i saw the first one i understand like if you guys seen the uh there was an article published about kind of like the language used for male streamers versus female streamers have you guys seen that article no maybe she just can dig it up uh looked at like basically um women's chats are fucking toxic as fuck it's all sexual language um etc right and and and on some level like makes no sense that that's that's the type of engagement that some people are doing for this but i don't understand the people who engage like i like porn i'm fine with porn i can engage with porn i don't go to twitch for porn you know what i mean like so there's something that's kind of a turn on about finding something

Starting point is 02:58:51 naughty where you shouldn't you think that's part of it even though that porn hub exists if you find one of those youtube videos that's pornographic you're like oh a little secret between me and jobily gook 101 oh i'm just gonna let me mammogram videos on youtube all right let's see if she's clean or not all right like those massage videos that's like nothing but rear camel toe and just like like deep thumb there's there's so many dirty videos on youtube there's expressive dance you know where there's completely nude chicks who are incredibly fit and attractive because they're like professional dancers just frolicking on stage naked and it's like if i see uh like 4chan does a thing a lot they'll be like hey picture shouldn't share right and maybe see some guy's friend with the

Starting point is 02:59:43 boob showing or something that's meh but when there's like the clothed unclothed ones where it's like here she is on facebook interacting like a regular normal person and this is her doing sexy stuff somehow that seems like a naughtier treat you know because sasha gray is a twitch streamer these days yeah that's like the answer though. No, it needs to go the other way. She needs to be a Twitch streamer first and then me find her leaked porn. That would be hot. Fuck yeah.

Starting point is 03:00:14 Yeah. Let's call it an early show. It's probably a great brand new move. Let's just switch to a different streaming channel and continue on this path. How long could we stream this show on Chatterbait before they cut us down? I don't know.

Starting point is 03:00:31 Infinitely. Really? Yeah. What are you talking about? That would be hysterical. Because we're not doing porn. Yeah, but we could. We just do it shirtless and that's it. We tweak our nipples every five minutes. Oh no, I'd get some bitches in here. There's a um we just do it shirtless and that's it we tweak our nipples every five minutes oh no i get some bitches in here i don't there's a person on chatterbait funny show who pulls big numbers who plays a pornographic video game like it'd be like a centaur with a big cock

Starting point is 03:00:56 in front or something i i've never like oh watched it but yeah it seems like a porn video game there's no people maybe i i have no idea but if i was going to be the viewer watching that why is you why would you woody watch that channel i freedom of expression i got drawn in by the thumbnail i was like this one's different than all the others it's a cartoon and i didn't stay like it you know they didn't do anything to make it interesting right you know a regular gamer on twitch usually is a constant conversation but this is what i run into with like the the body painting streams i don't understand why people are watching like i'm like okay it's you know it's an attractive girl she's nearly naked painting herself i'm like okay

Starting point is 03:01:38 is it when i look am i here for porn because if i want to look at tits i'll just go look at porn like why am i here why am I on Twitch watching this? And then I'm like, well, the mastery of the painting is so good. And I agree. And some of these pictures are fucking amazing. But the process is boring as fuck. So why are we watching? They want to look at someone's titties who won't show you her titties. Nailed it.

Starting point is 03:02:01 That's it. That's a big part of it. That's really interesting. That's the phrasing I was looking for. Yeah. It's the forbidden fruit. Like if she's a dirty whore, there's just like a thousand pictures of her butthole on the internet, you're like, well, I'll look at one. But if you found out that the minister's wife posed for Playboy way back when,

Starting point is 03:02:27 and there's one topless photo of her, you'd be like, oh, fuck. Mrs. Jameson's on the internet topless? Let me fact check this. Good old fact checking. False. I saw that coming. But yeah, I think it's a seeing most of a titty from someone who won't show you all of it so you think this is then more tantalizing and it's uh what it can and can't show on twitch

Starting point is 03:02:58 as a non-nude body painting scene than it would be if it was on some other service and and personally like one of the reasons i like to watch it is like, I'm hoping I see more than they want to show. I'm hoping that like, uh, one of those little bit of a slip. I don't know. It was a nip slip or,

Starting point is 03:03:15 or maybe more jiggle than she wanted to show off. Maybe they, maybe, maybe they, they, they're, she really gets to work in them. She let me,

Starting point is 03:03:22 I, if I'm, if I'm in that chat, I'm like, maybe I can make her laugh. Maybe that titty will jiggle a little. Maybe she does something with that paintbrush unexpected.

Starting point is 03:03:33 Yeah. Instead of licking it to get it wet, it just disappears. Jesus Christ. That's how she cleans it. Let me get that again. Just so it comes out perfectly straight a little twat blot here

Starting point is 03:03:48 that's perfect I love that okay but you think I mean okay I really do wonder sometimes like you know like what what are some of these serums are extremely popular I'm surprised like like that and it's probably against the the tos but like i would be a fully clothed girl and have one of those um like

Starting point is 03:04:12 remote control vibrators and then have the chat controlling it with donations like a bit bot or whatever you call it like like like and the more they pay the more it uh it goes off. If you've got the LoveSense, if you've got the LoveSense vibrator, family of vibrators, if you've got the $175. Not to be confused with family vibrators. That's funny. Sure, amongst all moms, kids, and that one boy.

Starting point is 03:04:43 If I ever lose enough weight that I'm not... I'm wanting to go in that direction now because that's even worse. That is worse. But yeah, with the Love Sense... Now, go on, Taylor. You were... No, no. ...in front of yourself, and I'm very interested in hearing the end of this.

Starting point is 03:04:54 Love Sense has plugs and vibrators. If you've ever seen porn and the girl has basically a little pink snake coming out of her vagina, like a little... I know what you're talking about. Yeah. Those are controlled with an app. Yeah, they're all controlled with an app on your phone. has basically like a little pink snake coming out of her vagina, like a little light, like, but yeah, yeah. Those are controlled with an app. Yeah. They're all controlled an app on your phone.

Starting point is 03:05:10 Vagina. You watch some soft core shit, carry on. And you can get them to, um, to respond to music. Like you can play a song, uh,

Starting point is 03:05:18 from your phone and it will vibrate according to the beat of the song. So it was like, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun,. So it's like, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun,

Starting point is 03:05:26 dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun,

Starting point is 03:05:30 dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun all right, by the second, I want it to be like a four out of 10 vibration for five seconds straight, and then a two out of 10, and then a nine out of 10 for 10 seconds, and then nothing for a minute, and then repeat, repeat, repeat. You can draw this whole pattern. Or you can download patterns that the company has made,

Starting point is 03:05:59 or you can download patterns that are user-generated, and they all have fun names. What if I take one of those to my penis while I stream? download patterns that are user generated and they all have fun names. Or you can just go full manual. I can do my penis while I stream. I mean, I'll... You can do that too. Probably less viewers. Twitch is very male oriented.

Starting point is 03:06:15 Once I lose enough weight that I'm not ashamed of my body anymore, I'm going to do my own body content stream. If you put it in your butt, I'll give you my Twitch prime. Yeah, because if you put it in your butt, I'll give you my Twitch Prime. Yeah. To put it in my fucking ass. Not every month.

Starting point is 03:06:29 I'm just doing a paint-by-collars jack-o'-lantern on my chest. This looks fucking terrible. That'd be funny. I bet I would get more viewers than most of the emails. Your point was? At least briefly, just for the novelty of people laughing. Taylor, I'll go the other way. Gain weight, put the love sense people laughing. Taylor, go the other way.

Starting point is 03:06:45 Gain weight, put the love sense in your belly button, give it a go. Ooh, and that plan entails a lot more snacking for me. Well, I'm in favor of that one. Yeah, I just hate it, and I'm just trying to play. Ow! Stop donating! Why do we care about this one in particular? Why did you like this one? to play just stop donating why do we care about this one in particular

Starting point is 03:07:08 why did you like this one I was just like I just clicked on just chatting and she was the top one that was painting her titties like a degenerate in front of children she was top of 300 viewers yeah well she was the top amongst titty painters okay

Starting point is 03:07:21 that's what she's doing is it really let me judgmental here why why judgmental here i think i'm being honest here how's that okay tell me more why honest what do you mean honest here i i just said exactly what she's doing you think you say the words again no i don't kids only watch Twitch, but I think that a lot of the people who are watching her right now are 15 years or younger. Really? I was 15.

Starting point is 03:07:54 I don't know. Again, I asked the question. I don't understand. I don't watch kiddie streamers doing this because I don't understand the appeal of it. I think some of the final products they make are incredible. And I think the idea of watching attractive women do sexual things is also enjoyable but those are like totally different than what the fucking twitch

Starting point is 03:08:13 experience is yeah having to mealy mouth your way around to find porn when you were like 15 or 14 and it's like i guess i just gotta search a dirty word there was no fucking porn search on google you know and you worked around it so that if something happened and mom and dad found out you were ruining the only family computer, you could say, oops, I didn't even mean to do that. Whitehouse.com is dirty. I'm trying to learn about democracy.

Starting point is 03:08:36 I'm trying to learn about it. This right here is similar in that it's like some 14-year-old kid that doesn't want to get caught beating off to porn. Maybe he takes a hop, skip, and a jump over to a painting stream. That would make sense to me. I don't know if it happens.

Starting point is 03:08:52 I just imagine this whole scenario. He's not actually interested in the painting. I just imagine this whole scenario where the dad sees that he's into fantasy painting and he's like, I knew that boy was gay. I knew it this whole damn time. I love him. I'm going to try

Starting point is 03:09:08 to bond with him anyway. Son, I want to look at some of your fantasy painting sites you've been... Oh! God damn, I love you, boy. Or if he sees that and he still doesn't get it and he's like, This is good. Now you're going to sit with me and you're going to

Starting point is 03:09:24 watch four hours of real pornography with me. Stupid painting right out of your mind. Now this is called a bukkake. Where a bunch of Far Easterners masturbate onto a woman's pixelated face. You know, traditionally the lady's buried up to her neck in the sand. Yeah, Ace Ventura style, like when that elephant kicks the guy's head like a soccer ball.

Starting point is 03:09:51 Yeah, exactly like that. See? Deep cut. That's a good one. I need to re-watch those movies. Those made me laugh so hard when I was 13. Those movies would not fly today. Very transphobic. Really? Oh, when he's like dressing up

Starting point is 03:10:06 and stuff no when they discovered that the main villain is a trans woman and they all start vomiting because they all realized that they kissed a trans woman that was yeah you're right that was a funny scene that wouldn't fly now yeah yeah we need to take jim carrey to task yeah hasn't time done that already now you just post like weird paintings on twitter and if i'm being honest jim i know your listener your paintings suck they're not good they're not the way that you do the unique style unique is not necessarily good no My style of painting would be unique. Paint a titty and I'll watch. I'm not into this.

Starting point is 03:10:49 It's not about the uniqueness for titty painting though. It's about the titties. To me, the worse of a painter you are, the better of a titty painter you are. It's really not covering much, is it? She's not even a real painter. It really doesn't hide shit, does it?

Starting point is 03:11:06 I would be the laziest titty painter. I get like a... Alright, we're done. I'm just going to sit here for a while and loosen my shoulders up. Nobody cares what it looks like. There's like five girls watching this who might care.

Starting point is 03:11:23 No, we don't care. I'm just here to look at your titties. I think I might argue that the end results sometimes are really fucking good. Send me a picture when you're done. That's what I do with these streams. I'm not going to watch this shit. The end result of painting a house is nice, too. I'm going to sit there for three hours.

Starting point is 03:11:40 No, I agree. I repeatedly ask the question, why do people watch these? I don't understand. I don't stand in the kitchen and watch my girlfriend prepare me dinner every night. No. I wait and then it comes out.

Starting point is 03:11:51 Yes. I just want the finished product. You do that too. I think that's a fair analogy. I thought that was just me. Well, I mean, like the way we do it is like if it's a hair pass,

Starting point is 03:12:00 when it's due, I start just making guttural noises. Bang the fork in the knife on the table. Yeah. I take a fork and a knife and I bang it like I'm a child. That's right. Then she brings it out late and I take the plate and just flip it. That's what you get.

Starting point is 03:12:17 Now I'm eating your plate, bitch. We have a happy relationship. She's new to your house nah tonight your plate goes to the dogs just put it down there as if my yeah are you dating again Taylor I don't know you

Starting point is 03:12:34 yeah I am a couple years now Taylor's actively making a mistake oh that's the same girl and she's not pregnant yet oh that's right who has shitty low motility sperm now It's the same girl. And she's not pregnant yet. Oh, that's right. We talked about it. That's incredible. Who has shitty low motility sperm now? Yeah.

Starting point is 03:12:51 Sure. You win this round. You're impotent. You got it. It's because of all the kegels that I do. Kegels? Kegels? Kegels.

Starting point is 03:12:58 Kegels? It's because of all the kegels that I do. That's how familiar I am with this. Kegels might be more accurate than a lot of kegels. Because I've got fantastic orgasm control. I'm not waiting until the last second. You don't give that sperm up. You give that for yourself. Sometimes I'll just edge myself

Starting point is 03:13:14 while fucking, then get her off. She's like, are you going to get off? I go, and give up my power? No, no, no. Then I fly out of the room. I soar into night through the window.

Starting point is 03:13:32 Then I use my telekinesis to open the door and leave. I'm going to spend more time sleeping mortal. To be fair your skin does look very nice from here it does Taylor

Starting point is 03:13:48 but it looks like you haven't had an orgasm in probably 8 months oh with my control it's probably been a year takes a lot of self control to edge yourself inside a pussy I noticed that ladder's been there for a while what's going on it's like a sex. I noticed that ladder's been there for a while. What's going on?

Starting point is 03:14:07 It's a good... Is it a sex swing? I keep meaning to buy batteries. Is that a sex swing? No, I keep meaning to buy batteries for a carbon monoxide protector, and I forget. But you have a ladder set up just in case. Terrible positioning for a sex swing.

Starting point is 03:14:20 You could have had them shipped from China faster than waiting for yourself to go to the drugstore and buy batteries. You're right then i get home and i'm like i'm not going out again and how dangerous is carbon monoxide anyway my semen powers from any sort of problem amazon my dogs are fucked they don't have any semen whatsoever i got their balls removed how old are they girlfriend too i guess uh they're like eight months now yeah yeah they're doing they're doing good they're like really not pissing in the house anymore like they it i didn't know it was gonna happen so fast what a great thing yeah i mean then the first like month or two they were here they weren't really getting it but then we got

Starting point is 03:14:58 the carpet steam cleaned to get all the previous owner of this house's dogs piss out of it because apparently they just let their dog piss, and so my dogs are trying to mark. And so now they're good. They're solid. Cool. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 03:15:12 One of them is still small enough to fit through the fence, and so he'll make a task of getting him sometimes because I don't want him to die getting hit by a car. It would be his fault, though. Fozzie and something? Fozzie and Teddy. Yeah. Fozzie and Teddy.

Starting point is 03:15:25 Yep. Good deal. That's great. Kyle just doesn't approve of any aspect of my life. Taylor's really taking a long turn. Oh, two dogs that I hate? Fuck them. I thought Kyle would like the dogs.

Starting point is 03:15:40 How's a dog person? He would like them if he came here. Kyle did an abstract thing like they're great, but you don't want one? I like dogs a lot. I approve of his dog choice. I am a small dog person. I feel like they're less maintenance, more love, and easier. I guess that's really it.

Starting point is 03:16:00 Easier to take care of. Yeah. When they fart, it doesn't clear out a fucking room. When they piss, it's like, oh like oh look you made a little piddle It's not like Fucking here Woody's dogs piss like you. Oh, yeah, what is dog starts pissing on the floor? He's got time go get a glass I would rush them out the door that would be the actual strategy But yeah, and I've talked about it before.

Starting point is 03:16:25 When they do pee and you find it, like paper towels are not a choice. I'm like, I'm going to sacrifice a bath towel. Gather all that shit up, put it straight in the trash can. It's like if one of us drank a bunch of sodas and decided to pee on the ground. Yeah, it would. It's probably similar in volume to one of us.

Starting point is 03:16:47 Yeah, it's it's Jesus Christ. Yeah. So. So, yeah, I approve fully of the dogs and everything. Just not the domestication of Taylor. Oh, I really like owning the house and having dogs. I have nothing to do with home ownership or pet ownership. It was the you know what the problem is.

Starting point is 03:17:04 It sure does. Breeder. Fucking blowing your DNA all over the place and making things come alive. I don't know. I feel like if you really wanted to domesticate Taylor, you'd get him fixed like you did the dogs. But Taylor is still virile and damn near feral.

Starting point is 03:17:24 Virile. I have been chemically castrating Taylor for the last 18 months in secret. And my T is almost down to normal levels. Coming after you, just like Alan Turing. We're going to make this happen. I'll find out if there's like a chemical

Starting point is 03:17:41 castration law in your state. Plant child porn on you. That's the way to get it done. For your own good. I'm in prison for 25 years because you plant child porn on my PC. And you're like, ha, now you can't get me. 25 years down the road, it's just fucking

Starting point is 03:17:58 PKA 3041 Taylor's back. I've gone totally insane. I got turned out in prison. And turned out in prison and wig and stuff. Permanently solves the breeding problem. Oh, if we put Taylor on steroids, that would also make him infertile. That's what we need to do.

Starting point is 03:18:21 I know it will shrink his testicles. I don't know. I literally don't know about the fertility. I have no idea. I do know, actually. If it's shrinking your testicles, I can name a bunch of... Chael Sonnen actually has opened up about this

Starting point is 03:18:33 and talked about how when he wanted to have kids, he had to get off his steroids. Fertility is an issue. So, Taylor, get fucking ripped. So what you're saying is that if I take steroids, I can simultaneously not have to use birth control and get really ripped? Win-win.

Starting point is 03:18:52 There's really nothing bad about this. I don't see a downside either. Remind me of the downsides of steroids? I've forgotten. Well, I won't be able to play in MLB, but I think that was in the cards. That's like saying, remind remind me the downside of ice cream it's like well anything if you abuse anything there there are mass there can be

Starting point is 03:19:09 massive downsides to say i use them to uh use them well but not abuse them what would be there there's no downside there's no down none whatsoever yeah so a little bit more stress on your heart okay oh i definitely would i'll turn me on to uh more plates more dates which is youtube channel devoted to uh like steroids essentially and one of the things he's like he's like god's only giving you so many hair follicles and and that's one of his big arguments this guy's jacked he's got bowling ball deltoids and stuff he's amazing and uh i'd fuck him anyway he always talks about the hair loss and how to manage that and how to do that so that that to me would be one of your risk factors

Starting point is 03:19:51 ah yeah yeah yeah so so i didn't mean to say that there weren't any side effects just that there weren't any major health concerns like like cancer um definitely like like things like acne aggression and uh and and it creates it makes your body um create more dht or whatever that that hair losing chemical but what i was kind of referring to is like 300 um what is it it's not cc's i don't think whatever of testosterone yeah that's probably not a leader okay it's impossible to know it's impossible now but but but but but you know like trt levels of of uh testosterone not like super uh super high levels like there's people that do like 1200 or whatever like when they're in they're going way way beyond what uh there's a word for it it's

Starting point is 03:20:40 like it the word should just be superhuman but it's like it's something it's something else it's it's like more than any man has ever had ever when ideally maybe you're like as high as most men ever get like you're oh or where you were when you were 18 or 20 oh my god no no no no oh we're talking about problems that can happen yeah i saw some some pics sent to me of uh mr blade's teeth and is this the the steroid using guy no no this is a guy his like foot is in the process of like it's probably gonna have to be amputated because of like uh alcohol induced diabetes that's just totally untreated for a long time and so yeah uh it's not just limited to the foot looks like it definitely wouldn't be milliliters by the way diabetes that's just totally untreated for a long time. It's not just limited to the foot.

Starting point is 03:21:28 It definitely wouldn't be milliliters, by the way. I just did some common sense thought process. I was like, 200 milliliters? I don't know how big a milliliter is. For example, 355 milliliters. Kyle, if you want to get jacked, you're going to have to put a can of soda

Starting point is 03:21:46 in your ass. I've been crushing these diet A&W creams. I got 11 more in there. I picked up a 12-pack today. I'm going to crush a couple right after this show when I'm eating some turkey. I got a 12-pack today. We're not so different, you and I.

Starting point is 03:22:05 What is that on the top of it? Is that just plaque? I didn't realize his name was Blade. I saw this earlier, but I couldn't make sense of it. I'm like, Blade? You hit with a knife and a teeth? Only Use Me Blade is a play style he did in Call of Duty.

Starting point is 03:22:20 Everyone else was shooting, and he somehow found success with just knives. That's just been his name ever since even though he's not playing Cod Atomic. It's his YouTube channel name. All of his social media and shit are sort of centered around that. Life's been kind to him since then. He's been so successful.

Starting point is 03:22:39 It's like he keeps finding new things to excel at. Drinking. Drinking and necrosis. Foot loss. I think he's probably got the fucking... Not wasting money on toothpaste. Really?

Starting point is 03:22:54 Yeah. This is bad. Oh my gosh. That was Woody's limit. He's not going to kale his way out of this. He's... No, no. He needs to go to the fucking hospital.

Starting point is 03:23:06 Even my dumb ass realizes these teeth aren't coming back with a little George Foreman chicken and some kale. You have to show that yourself, Woody, because for a while there, I was like, no. You know, this guy does enough push-ups. He'll just be a slightly stronger man

Starting point is 03:23:21 with rotted teeth. For a while, I don't have any background in necrosis. Like, I don't know what's going on there. It looks to me like a pretty, not a mild sore, but like a kind of sore that I went hiking with a dude. To be fair, his current goal is up $20,000, $2,500 to destroy his RV. I didn't even notice that until I clicked on this link again link again yeah that's what he should be focused on right now yeah presumably after destroy rv is save teeth i blew an rv up one time for like eighty seven

Starting point is 03:23:55 dollars it's not that expensive sorry i didn't mean to interrupt your story so how did you know him i've done that uh no i i was saying that the necrosis in his feet, to me, I've gone hiking with the dude, right? We went hiking in the Yosemite. When he took his boots off from all the blisters and stuff, it looked worse than Blade's feet. So when I viewed it through that lens, like just the picture of the worst, awful blisters ever from hiking, and I was like, dude, that guy healed in like four days right if blade no obviously blade

Starting point is 03:24:27 take a little while to turn around but if he would just be a healthy guy his injury didn't look that much worse to me than you know five star blisters and the teeth thing though i that's not a normal condition that's not like anything i've seen before. Jeremy. Yeah. Jeremy's teeth are worse than this. Well, Jeremy has dentures now. Ah, so he's looking good. They fall out. They fall out.

Starting point is 03:24:58 I'm trying to figure out what those ridges are in the close-up picture. He's missing the enamel, right? That's gone. I guess so. Yeah, I guess so. It looks like he's missing some teeth on the left side toward the upper back area. There's something going on there. I would say he needs help. And the lower back.

Starting point is 03:25:15 I want to know what's going on when this picture is taken. It looks like he's in pain gritting his teeth. Could be experiencing non-ejaculation yeah i played i mean wouldn't all of life be fucking painful if your teeth were like that like toothache dude you should start posting oh no that's too mean never mind i feel like he's suicidal like i'm for kyle i can't get my head anywhere killer oh wait i'm talking about blade'm talking about Blade. Oh. Oh, yeah. We got crossed up. Oh, my God.

Starting point is 03:25:46 I just scrolled up to the teeth holes. I didn't see that. No, don't do that. Oh, I was on the bottom image. I didn't know about the top image. Yeah, that's what I was talking about. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Starting point is 03:25:55 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, yes. This is the one he's reacting to. He needs the $20,000 to get those teeth repaired, not for an RV. Yeah, I looked at this earlier, and it said a close-up of blade teeth. They don't look like they're in there very well.

Starting point is 03:26:12 And I didn't understand it was a streamer named Blade. I thought it was someone who had been hit in the head with a knife. No, no. If you look at that, it looks like someone just, like, fucking chopped off the top of the enamel. You're like, what is this, a whole channel of health problems caused by blades? Yeah, I don't want to see this, and I moved on. He needs some...

Starting point is 03:26:29 A toothbrush. Maybe some smart mouth. Ooh. Smart mouth's gonna be enough. Yes. I think he needs... I've asked this question before, but I'm gonna modify it just a little bit. Yeah. You're in the park.

Starting point is 03:26:44 You're hanging out. To your left is Blade. To your right is a squirrel. Which one would you prefer to randomly bite you? There's going to be a little blood. The squirrel has coronavirus. The squirrel does not have coronavirus. I might still prefer the squirrel.

Starting point is 03:27:04 I'm going with the squirrel, and then I'm going to go to an urgent care, get a couple quick shots. might still prefer the squirrel. I'm going with the squirrel and then I'm going to go to an urgent care, get a couple quick shots. Team squirrel? Team squirrel. Because I feel like a squirrel mouth is dirty, but his human mouth is fucking disgusting. I like my odds of my skin

Starting point is 03:27:19 versus his teeth. No, no, no. He's like, Oh, ah! Oh, God! I shouldn't have gone for the cat. No, no, no. All that happens is after he's bit you,

Starting point is 03:27:33 there's bits of his teeth still left inside you. Oh, no. They gotta take it out like a stinger. Yeah. It's like a bee's fucking stinger. I gotta go squirrel if that's the case. That squirrel chews on acorns all day long. Those are hardy teeth.

Starting point is 03:27:49 They're probably clean. You ever see a beaver's teeth? Yeah, they're all orange because they have iron in it. Yeah. Really? That's pretty cool. Is it? I didn't know that.

Starting point is 03:27:57 Yeah. That's how they're so powerful and strong. Beavers, nature's engineers. I like watching. Is this a fucking documentary now? Keep going. There's like literally a documentary called... Tell them about the tail. You guys know exactly... Tell them how many

Starting point is 03:28:16 chambers the dam has. Their tails are proud. Bobby, it has dozens of chambers. We could blow it all up with propane. You know exactly the genre of nature documentary where it's not planet Earth. It's like the octopus, beavers, squirrel. It's like one thing.

Starting point is 03:28:38 And in every one of those, there's at least three or four researchers whose entire life is devoted to this one animal. And there's always snide little remarks from them. And I noticed it the most in the beaver one on Netflix where they'll be like, frankly,

Starting point is 03:28:53 the beaver is the most fascinating animal in existence. The only one that builds its own environment and the fish, the fish, there's idiot fish Terry! Devote your life to fish, retard! The study of what he's devoted his life to is entirely contingent on my animals and what they decide to do in the habitat.

Starting point is 03:29:14 And when you think about it, isn't that more impressive than an elephant? And it's like, dude, stop having such an inferiority complex about studying beavers. I think they're cool too. I wouldn't have gotten drunk and started your

Starting point is 03:29:25 fucking documentary if I didn't think so. The guy who's heard one too many pussy jokes in his career. He just wants to study the animal he loves and be left alone. Yes. I study beavers. Never enough funding. No fellowships.

Starting point is 03:29:42 I want to see how many chambers are in it. It's funny you said that because he literally made a point about how many chambers yeah I know I watch the same fucking documentary I love beavers really? of course yes it's thought that this one was passed down through up to 15 generations that makes it older than the state of California

Starting point is 03:29:58 it's like there's no way for you to know any of this how could you know? those sticks aren't that old it's cause of the layers I've blown up a lot of beaver dams it's maybe they can't have you really yeah yeah what's hanner right what's the makes you more of a terrorist or for like uh purpose both wait what's the purpose i could imagine fun well they're they're blocking a creek you know they're damming up the creek and and now your land floods.

Starting point is 03:30:30 My dad's property has creeks intersecting throughout it, and they dam one of them up. And all of a sudden, now when there's a big rain, a big area of the field would flood out or whatever. But also, it's fun blowing something up. Stuff that bitch full of Tannerite and everything explodes. It's good stuff. It's also fun to shoot the beavers. Glad Taylor left before that came up. He's a big fan.

Starting point is 03:30:57 Who doesn't like beaver? No one jumped on the blade suicidal thing and it's still stuck in my head. Does anyone else see that as like an underlying... Where do you hear that he's suicidal? I made up yeah just to be i thought you were just making a joke no i this is a guy who's drank himself to diabetes and i'm influenced by boogie who's come on the show and said that his morbid obesity was a slow acting suicide which i think i heard from another heavy person too and uh and i'm just looking at blade and thinking that his slow

Starting point is 03:31:26 alcohol thing is an acceptance of the fact that he's okay with a life that ends at i don't know 40 and i think it's just man it really likes jaeger i don't know what that's what we've got here this is a guy who um you know i think i think what are your point requires a little bit more um reflection right like that's like step three if you only want to think to step two does it does it mean that you want step three or does this mean you're not fucking paying attention or you've accepted step three i don't know it's just like you had another guy on here on the uh pk i can't remember his name shoe something shoe nice shoe nice he's not his his his end looks very similar, in my opinion.

Starting point is 03:32:06 Boogie's much more of a thinker than Shoe Nice seems to be. Sure, but this guy, judging only from his teeth picture. I think of Blade as a thinker also. Really? Yeah. Okay. I don't know him. I won't ask you to step in.

Starting point is 03:32:21 But yeah, I think of Blade as a thinker too. And just a guy who's accepted that while most people wouldn't want to go here, he's like, fuck it, I'll go. Yeah, I don't think he's thinking about much at all. I think he stays drunk most of the time and sort of like falls forward through life. He's never struck me as a real

Starting point is 03:32:45 i mean you know what he was saying the opposite drinks and he screams in parties so why is he doing what he's thinking why why is he doing it yeah he's addicted and there's like a pleasure pain balance and the pleasure he gets from taking the wrong road is worse than the plane i'm sorry the pain that he gets from taking the right road is worse than the pain that he gets from taking the right road. And he's just not looking the long term at the pain it takes to go to the right way. Maybe I didn't lay that out right, right? But I think a lot of people make decisions to skip class, to go to class, etc.

Starting point is 03:33:21 There's a short term pleasure pain equation and a long term one. And he's putting too much emphasis on the short one and has decided that if that leads to suicide fuck it i'll accept that it's still the winning equation for him like there is no long-term pain there's just death you think with like losing a leg that wouldn't be a wake the fuck up moment for most people i've had takes less alcohol to get drunk sure i've had that same thought process like how is this not his wake-up call how is this not his wake-up call you know i could even understand it when it was the first little sore it didn't look as serious to me as it did to everybody else um and then it

Starting point is 03:34:01 was a bigger sore and then it's like multiple large deep sores and you know i'm like whoa all right so this is real like even to my untrained eye who keeps looking at this through a favorable light this looks like foot losing shit but you know that that didn't wake him up the teeth aren't waking i do think it has to go a really long way before he'll actually lose the foot i was watching when i was in prison i was watching i think it has to go a really long way before he'll actually lose the foot. I was watching when I was in prison, I was watching, I think it was either people doing crocodile or, uh, or something similar. It's, it's this, um, intravenous drug that they do in Russia a lot and it makes your flesh rot.

Starting point is 03:34:38 And this guy had been shooting it. I think it was foot, but I just remember like he unbandages the foot and the doctor's like, it looks atrocious like imagine a foot that looks blackened and like splotchy and like rotten exposed bone a little okay a little like yeah and the doctor's like oh oh this is much better and i'm like what the fuck she's she's like yeah i think you've got a good chance of keeping it but stay off the crocodile am i right and he's like this is when I think you've got a good chance of keeping it, but stay off the crocodile, am I right? And he's like, this is when Alex decided to go score some more crocodiles. He's like, she said I'm doing great.

Starting point is 03:35:16 I almost broke and Googled what an amputation diabetic foot would look like, but I'm not going to. The link goes right to our yeah yeah but i might at some point just i wonder like what does a pre-amputation foot look like how bad does it have to be for diabetes i feel like an asshole talking about blade like this to be honest like i do like blade as a guy like like all my interactions with him like like i've really enjoyed his company independent though right you can like a guy and still think his decisions are stupid his yeah i think i think that's where i am where like i wish he would i'm almost saying these things because

Starting point is 03:35:53 i wish that he would stop hurting himself i am saying them that for that reason also because it's funny and that's my job to make people laugh but i i really don't like what he's doing here to himself it's fucked it's it's hard to watch it's it's like like this is the sort of like you get some variation of this like wwf or something right like wwe rather right like where people are slamming their bodies into shit for the short term of like the money and the payoff and the fucking entertainment and whatever and there's some there's some iteration of that here but like this feels worse right yeah something about like the kind of harm that he's doing to himself you know like like a broken leg would be so much better yeah this is infinitely better some of this might be irreparable and like i'm not a doctor you know we we we what

Starting point is 03:36:39 you know what i'm saying is like like like every everything we know about medical stuff sort of like comes from our internet and netflix uh binging and stuff like that however like you've got to know that like the difference between an injury that's that's there because of an external source versus an internal one is vast you know like like education's a bad thing everything's a terrible situation yeah it doesn't grow back but point being for like but this this goes back to what he's point then like unless sometimes what do you do with this like what do you do with this person is clearly clearly on a path to something there's nothing to be done there's nothing to do

Starting point is 03:37:21 like he's his own man you can't do like unless he wants to like it's like with anyone who's doing coke or drinking like an alcoholic or a drug addict like you can send him to rehab you can do all sorts of stuff but until the day comes where they're like i want this to stop if nothing's gonna change even sure food what's your i don't know what are you what are y'all's relationship he's been on the show a couple times a friend of yours i don't i don't know that he's if he has he has been on the show a long time ago it's probably six or seven years i hung out with him at like um like two or three events or something like that and and you know had a couple private conversations um i don't know he gave me a blunt one time we smoked that um you know that that's about it and also i think the real connection is that like we were all kinds of

Starting point is 03:38:05 fans of his uh back in the day like we were sort of a community community of people who made this call of duty content and everybody tried to pick their own flavor you know and and a lot some people really excelled at becoming their own flavor and some of people some people failed it i think woody and i were great at creating our own flavors of content, right? Like he had a very specific thing that he, no one else was in my space. They really weren't the adult who could, who could sort of educate you on adult things. If you're, because you're sort of at a coming of age sort of thing, it's, it's nice to get advice from somebody who's actually done these things. And, you know, some people went for goofy and zany and funny and blade had his own flavor with his thing. He was real chill and laid back.

Starting point is 03:38:46 Hey, guys, Blade here. And he stabbed people with a knife. So his content is completely different than anybody else's. The one thing that everybody did, he doesn't even do. And, you know, so we were kind of fans of his back then. I watched his content very regularly. And now to see, you know, like 10 years later, and he appears to have his teeth rotting out of his back there i watched his content very regularly and now to see you know like 10 years later and he appears to have his teeth rotting out of his head he appears to be very

Starting point is 03:39:10 unhealthy his he's got some sort of necrosis on his foot and he's surrounded himself with people who think that's funny yeah and uh and so you know use it for content yeah it's it's it's real fucked up it's it really is i i can't imagine being one of the people who watches the stream and laughs about it like like there's something about the separation of being here and discussing it but like i don't know i see like i've seen clips of them like in his chat and like you can read the chat and they're like poor jaeger in the wound and i'm like oh my god and they did like, poor Jaeger in the wound. And I'm like, oh my god. And they did. They did poor Jaeger in the wound. Did it help?

Starting point is 03:39:51 Yeah, it healed right up. See, you probably feel foolish now. What if he lit it on fire? Yeah, if he puts it like Rambo, he put a little gun in his arm. That's how you heal it.

Starting point is 03:40:06 It wouldn't be that bad. It'd kill any infection in there. It'd cauterize it. Yeah. It wouldn't make blood start flowing again. It'd stop the blood from flowing. Do you run out of limbs then? With a model like that?

Starting point is 03:40:20 Eventually you will if you're diabetic and you don't do anything about it. And you drink the sugariest liquid on earth. think taylor was the one that said he was gonna be like oscar pistorius he was gonna be only use me blade runner yeah only use me blade legs yeah yeah that's a good one yeah thank you yeah and then you know that could be the next chapter here not what if he became like a Paralympic athlete? That's where this went. And it all came full circle. And he was like, you know, back

Starting point is 03:40:50 in the day, I had people left and right saying, put the bottle down. Put the bottle down. Well, look at me now, world. Three gold medals. Beautiful wife. I'm the fastest man on blades. He's already got the social media presence. Everything's already named.

Starting point is 03:41:10 He's on a box of weed. Someone's got to Photoshop that. He's just fucking fit. He's ripped. He's literally the fastest man alive. Can those Blade Runner guys run faster than just a regular runner. The only people who can compete with them?

Starting point is 03:41:27 Human retention. I haven't ejaculated in four years. I run 65 miles per hour. Only the people can keep up. I'm pretty sure that they're not only faster, Woody, but much, much faster. I think the world speed record for using those blade legs is 37 miles an hour.

Starting point is 03:41:51 I mean, that's ridiculous. It sounds right. That does sound right. It's almost unbelievable. I think not for me. I can easily believe that. You put a canyon in those things? He's getting pulled over by the cops.

Starting point is 03:42:06 He's going so fast. That's a lot. They're not taking him alive. Even when he's stationary. He's got a knife or something on his leg. It's like that Edward Scissorhands scene. You put them on their arms, they run like cheetahs.

Starting point is 03:42:23 They go feral It's a whole thing Put them on their arms That's an interesting idea Run it on quadrupeds Yeah That's what you need Now that I'm all caught up on Outsiders

Starting point is 03:42:39 I need something else to watch Because if I don't find something else to watch I'm just going to end up doing what I always do in re-watching shows I got it, even better If you else to watch, I'm just going to end up doing what I always do in re-watching shows. I got it. Even better. If you start watching this, I'm four episodes in. It's a re-watch. What is it? It's Battlestar Galactica. Something I've

Starting point is 03:42:53 recommended to you half a dozen fucking times. It's some of the best writing and acting that's ever been on television. It's incredible science fiction. True. Super. Google Battlestar Galactica. Best writing ever. That's where that name comes from.

Starting point is 03:43:09 It's incredible. Bears beats Battlestar Galactica. It does have a good Rotten Tomatoes rating. Of course it does. It's incredible. The last season sucked fucking ass though. We don't talk about the last season. The first season was good. Actually, like kyle i also really enjoyed it except there's like a guy who

Starting point is 03:43:33 has a like relationship with maybe a girl in his imagination or something that guy is baltar that whole storyline was that imaginary i don't remember that being imagined not imagining not all right well i'm fucked but anyway that whole it's been a while since i've seen it that whole storyline never i always sort of waited for that to pass oh that was cool i liked it a lot especially when well i won't go into the details but later on like he meets her and they're back in person again i dig it she's so fucking hot trisha helfer is She's so fucking hot. Trisha Helfer is her name. So fucking hot. Wearing that red dress all the time. Yeah, super hot.

Starting point is 03:44:09 Not a lot of fashion choices for imaginary friends, I guess. What the fuck? Anyway. I like that show too. I love it. It's great. What did you think of season four of Expanse, Kyle? I thought that they spent a lot of money what do you think of it i thought it was bad i thought it was so bad too and i liked the i didn't like season one all that

Starting point is 03:44:32 much but i liked two and three a lot i was really disappointed with i'm with you 100 i felt like they spent a lot the production quality went way up yeah um um like like special effects went improved a lot even the costume, everything's looking better. Weapons, the location, everything's great. And they forgot to pay the writers or something. Yeah, right? The whole season is just right.

Starting point is 03:44:56 For a show called The Expanse, think about that literally, about travel within the entire solar system they spend the majority the whole season on this one little bitty part of a planet and occasionally we go and we see like the uh the belters you know doing their thing louder and i'm not too crazy about that storyline like they're it's just it just feels like I learn most of the time reading the series in between season

Starting point is 03:45:29 three and season four so I was always worried that my impact the impact was important because I'd read the books and then the the show wasn't as good but I'm glad to hear that someone I'm interested I'm glad to hear other people thinking the same way because I thought season four was shit I'm like come on like season three was so good I was so excited for season four I'm like this is actually good thinking the same way. Cause I thought season four was shit. I'm like, come on. Like season three was so good.

Starting point is 03:45:45 I was so excited for season four. I'm like, this is actually good sci-fi and good sci-fi is really hard to find. So yeah, like, like, like the, the,

Starting point is 03:45:52 the storyline with the, um, the Martian Marine girl. Yeah. It's kind of went nowhere. Just like, like, like just spinning wheels in the fucking sand the whole season.

Starting point is 03:46:02 Like if you feel like, like if you look at like her character growth,ny yeah like like no character growth like all we accomplished was now she doesn't have a job and she needs to leave we could have done that in one episode like like we could have had a loser job and have to leave mars in one episode and establish some sort of plot and two episodes total they took the whole season and that's all her character ever did, just spinning her wheels. If you look at the president, her storyline was kind of interesting, that she had this whole political rival thing,

Starting point is 03:46:32 and the ramifications of all of that. Okay. That's different. That's not book written. Oh, I don't know anything about the book. I liked her, and I liked her stories in the book. I didn't care so much about her political arrival here but i could see that that's still kind of interesting kind of ties

Starting point is 03:46:49 in with reality right now yeah but but the time that was spent on the uh the exoplanet or whatever you want to call i don't recall the actual name of the place it was vastly just boring nonsense i enjoyed the characters a couple of the characters in particular i really like the the military guy who's in charge i can't think of the actor's name but i've seen him in other stuff the security guy yeah the one who's mad about his people being uh killed and he's like going nuts i liked him good villain i thought like but i just felt like we didn't really learn too much and i didn't give a fuck when those green bugs were killing them or whatever and all the nonsense spent in that camp where it was like all right we're we're at the precipice of war here essentially everybody's at guns pointed each other

Starting point is 03:47:37 and then the characters all just stand up and walk over and like hey let's talk about this for a minute they're like okay like what do you mean okay? We were all just in a big standoff. Like, okay, Corral was about to happen. It's kind of anticlimactic the whole time. I don't know. Just nothing happened for 10 or 12 episodes or whatever it amounts to be. And it feels like so much could have happened

Starting point is 03:47:59 in the amount of time that they took to go nowhere. Yeah. But like I said, the show looks great. The new Star Trek looks really good too. Picard. Star Trek Picard. Is he in another one?

Starting point is 03:48:16 Is that Patrick Stewart? Patrick Stewart, yeah. Is he back for a new season of something different? New season of something different called Star Trek Picard. It's him 18 years after the i guess what whatever we actually are after next generation ended that's what they're doing with that so he's aged in real time essentially and um it's a real slap in the face if you're a next generation fan wait it's a lot of it doesn't make a lot of sense.

Starting point is 03:48:46 It looks great. Did you see it? You've been watching it. Yeah. What's that on? Okay. CBS. I think you've got to have their fucking streaming app unless you want to either pirate or pay

Starting point is 03:48:55 per episode. Okay. I have the streaming app. I did not buy it. Yeah. I did not. So I haven't seen it like you have, but the people on Reddit seem to look at it favorably. They think it's cool. They like it. Yeah, I bet.

Starting point is 03:49:09 Picard was, I thought, the best of the Star Trek captains. Am I wrong? No, I bet you're right. I don't respect their opinion about Star Trek. Oh, that's fine. What did you think of Star Trek captains? Who was the best? Picard was the best.

Starting point is 03:49:25 Yeah, so I thought too. So it is interesting to see him back. Although Cisco was the most influential probably. If you think about like the Dominion War was. I don't know the thing with the Borg. I like Cisco a lot. My favorite Star Trek is Deep Space Nine. Right, I tried to get into that after one of our episodes here on PK.

Starting point is 03:49:43 I tried to watch through it and I couldn't get far into a couple episodes i'm like it gets better it's one of those shows it gets better when he shaves his head and grows the beard you're in the golden days at first he's all clean shaven and they wouldn't let him grow a beard and he's like you know what fuck you i'm growing a beard janeway was the most influential too right janeway really am i wrong she's the one that defeated the borg right um picard did that picard saved earth a couple um a couple times from the borg janeway fought the borg and destroyed their trans warp gateway never go head to head with kyle on knowledge. I want to say that she brought in species like 8479

Starting point is 03:50:29 and infected the Borg and took them out widespread or something. You have to fact check this. That's a thing that happened but it didn't really destroy the Borg. It was just sort of beating them back well enough to well what she ended up doing was going and helping the Borg after that.

Starting point is 03:50:44 Against 8479. I forget the details. I thought though that she's the one that them back well enough to well what she ended up doing was going and helping her after that against yeah four seven nine yeah i forget the details i thought though that she's the one that's seven two is it something like that i don't know i think it's it it's irrelevant but in any case like like the the board in the in the in the in the movie you know the borg sent that sphere to the earth's past to kill uh jane um crwell's character, who was like the guy who originated Warp Drive and hooked us up with the Vulcans. And it's the thing that creates the entire Federation.

Starting point is 03:51:13 And, you know, Picard goes back and stops that. In any case, Deep Space Nine's the best, then Next Generation. I really despise Voyager. I've seen it twice, all the way through. I think it's the worst drivel that's ever Generation. I really despise Voyager. I've seen it twice all the way through. I think it's the worst drivel that's ever been. I couldn't watch that series when it came out.

Starting point is 03:51:30 I agree. It's horrible to watch. I would just do the influential part. There's an episode where the captain, and I think Harry Kim, get de-evolved into lizards and fuck. The next week, they act like nothing happened.

Starting point is 03:51:47 Similar thing happened when Data fucked the security officer. Yeah, Tasha. Tasha was hot. Yeah. The thing that She evolved into Worf, I thought. Yes, that's how I

Starting point is 03:52:02 like the version. I'm a trans klingon she got a little data semen and she turned into a klingon yeah but um some you know the new one is kind of doesn't make a lot of sense to me picard is like having dreams about data so if you don't remember data dies in the last Star Trek movie. He sacrifices himself for Picard in Star Trek. It's not Insurrection. It's Nemesis. Star Trek Nemesis,

Starting point is 03:52:33 which I think has... Who's the guy who plays Bane? Tom Hardy. Yeah, I think it has Tom Hardy in it. A very thin Tom Hardy, I believe, plays a clone of Picard that the Romulans created as part of this big plot, but then they just gave up on it like one of those Cold War

Starting point is 03:52:52 weapons that got... They're just like, ah, fuck it. Is Picard light running around? Yeah, so Picard light shows up with a big crazy warship and plays mind games with Picard for a while. And at the end of the movie, Data is killed. He has to see.

Starting point is 03:53:08 He sacrifices himself for Picard. There's this scene where Picard's left and Data has the thing that allows one of them to beam out of the ship back to safety. He just goes pops it on Picard and presses the button. Picard's like, no! He lives. Data explodes.

Starting point is 03:53:24 That's that. now in picard he's so concerned over data he's like he was my greatest friend he's dreaming about data every night go back and watch that fucking show they were not friends they were remember the poker games that they would card had good professionalism most of the time. Good professionalism, but they were never friends. Data and Picard's relationship was the weakest amongst all of them. Remember the poker nights with Worf and Riker and the doctor? Sailor. Picard was not at one of those poker games.

Starting point is 03:54:00 They never played poker together. Remember when Data's playing his symphony orchestra nonsense? Picard got up and walked out because he thought it was lame Like it's they were not friends if any you know they were us there were business associates. They were they were colleagues at best I agree The closest they came to being friends was when Picard went back to save him in Star Trek first content from the Borg Queen But they had a, though. I think Geordi was his friend. Best friend.

Starting point is 03:54:29 You've seen the show. I have seen the show. I wish I could remember the quote. Are you going to hang yourself on that ladder now? It's not tall enough. I'll have to do an Epstein style. Wait, I was making the same joke the same you're gonna need some help then i'll find a burly gentleman i was i was looking at pictures because i i mentioned that epstein shit to someone and they're like and i was like you ever seen a picture of his

Starting point is 03:54:58 cop roommate and they hadn't seen a picture that just looking at that guy's picture again makes me laugh he is so muscle just type in Epstein police roommate or cellmate he's sitting there with like

Starting point is 03:55:18 a pack of pitbulls just looking enormous quadruple homicide or something. Yeah, that guy. I would not want to be roommates with that guy or cellmates. Or maybe that guy would be, maybe you could have won him over like snow,

Starting point is 03:55:34 Kyle. You're not an international pedophile ringleader, so he probably wouldn't come after you. More local. Yeah, more local. He's not tipping his fingers in any of those pies. Yeah. Well, maybe I'll try Battlestar Galactica or The Expanse.

Starting point is 03:55:52 I highly recommend Battlestar Galactica. I really do. The only thing that's a bit of a barrier to entry is, you know how TV shows do pilots, and sometimes they make a big pilot? Well, Battlestar Galactica did that. It's three hours long. Is it really?

Starting point is 03:56:07 The beginning of Battlestar Galactica. You've got shit to do. I've got to get off this call, eat a quick snack, and go to bed. I can't be like, all right, kick back and watch three hours of Space Jam. to bed i can't be like all right kick back and watch three hours of space yeah i mean you could you know you can watch it over the course of three or four days if you wanted to but the reason it's three hours is because some very monumental in the first three hours lots of very big stuff happens all right like like huge stuff and also what what's going on here, this is a pre-Earth civilization. These are our ancestors. Were they?

Starting point is 03:56:47 Yeah. Oh, yeah. So they're futuristic, but they're our ancestors, kind of like Star Wars. Yes. And they are from a place called, well, there's a bunch of planets. There's 12 colonies. And I think each one is, and they use use the um it's the greek gods i think am i crazy isn't that how the whole show ends i mean no i'm not born and the first episode

Starting point is 03:57:13 they're like the first episode um uh adama says to them our our mostly our most guarded secret ever was where the 13th colony went. Earth. I know the location of Earth. I know. And I'm taking us there. It's going to be a long and arduous journey. He says that right away. We can never let them know how powerful they'll become if they retain their semen. But it's interesting.

Starting point is 03:57:40 The Alex Jones of Battlestar Galactica. That's what Edward James almost sounds like. He's very gruff. Very gruff. He's the military commander, maybe Hispanic. Yeah, Adama. Yeah, that guy's character, the writing on him is top notch. There's a line in there about the military policing people

Starting point is 03:58:02 that's legit influenced my political opinions. And I have told it to Jackie in an effort to seem smarter than I really am. Because it's brilliant. Always take credit for things that other people said. Repackage it a little bit and go, there's my idea. How do you like it?

Starting point is 03:58:18 Oh, you don't like it? Turns out I stole it. So it's not mine. Oh, you do like it? I'm brilliant. There you go. Here's what he said. He said, there mine. Oh, you do like it. I'm brilliant. There you go. Here's what he said. He said,

Starting point is 03:58:26 uh, there's a reason you separate military and police. One fights the enemies of the state. The other serves and protects the people. When the military becomes both, then the enemies of the state tend to become the people. Dude, that's good shit.

Starting point is 03:58:39 It's good shit. Yeah. It's a wonderful show. Lots of good characters. Like, like like like literally like eight or nine good characters like some shows you're like oh this is a this is a glenn episode i don't really care oh this is a billy episode oh we have to deal with sansa but with this show it's like exactly who's exactly right but if this show you're like fuck yeah starbuck episode oh an adama episode that

Starting point is 03:59:05 joy fades over time with who you didn't like starbuck at the end no yeah by the end of that i was done with starbuck episodes she can be grading you know when there's a couple you know when the little i don't go into details but yeah there's a point where we're if you get to the end bring it up again because i'll be curious to what you think about that. Yeah. And I expect that will be the next couple of days. You don't have a lot going on in your life. You've probably done this.

Starting point is 03:59:31 I know what you're talking about. I've seen it multiple times. Have you really? You're going to watch a fucking series of television multiple times. I can't do that. I love it. I like to become more knowledgeable about the series.

Starting point is 03:59:43 I've seen The Office so many times, it's countless. Like 10 times easily. Probably 15. Every episode. I thought The Office was great, but I've only seen it once. Mmm. I mean, it's all the shots you don't take. Wayne Gretzky, Michael Scott.

Starting point is 04:00:01 Yeah. It's 100% of the shots you don't take. He's quoting himself, quoting quoting someone he literally does that the office is great well I am I'm a bit of a starving Marvin over here alright we'll go get something to eat we're going to keep going for a while

Starting point is 04:00:20 and when you get yourself a snack you come on back and we'll knock this thing out. You said five hours is what you wanted. Yeah, Taylor, we haven't even started to talk about what might come next season, Picard. No! Let's talk about Commander Data sex life. We're really going nitty gritty here.

Starting point is 04:00:44 What does the cock look like? Cut? Uncock? I don't know, Dr. Soon. Were you a favor of circumcision? I hope not, or I'm not watching that show. Data uses the pull-out method. You'll be fine. Yeah.

Starting point is 04:01:03 I mean, the pull-out method, tried and true. Blow some nanobots into you yeah you doesn't make sense Borg nanobots that they shoot out of the wrist like they're fucking spider-man or something yeah I like the Borg is a villain I they're the best villain they're just overused but they brought a seven of 9, so all is forgiven. Well, on that note, you should go and get your snack, so that we can... You son of a bitch. When you come back, Kyle will tell us about the book you read.

Starting point is 04:01:37 I'm never watching Battlestar Galactica. No. Klingon politics in the 24th century. Today, Kyle speaks Klingon, I'm pretty certain. No, I don't speak Klingon. Yeah.

Starting point is 04:01:54 Hey, we avoided actual politics the entire show. I mean a little bit of Klingon. Let's not ruin it now. I got to ask one of the PKA viewers came into my channel today when I was streaming asked me uh about about who my uh preferred democratic candidate was and I said uh I wasn't gonna spoil anything I was gonna save that for pka tonight oh no we didn't get there and now I don't have to so fuck yeah are we done pka 478 kaplow

Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #478

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